# Girls with SA: Do You Feel Like You Can't Relate to Most Girls?



## NG77 (Dec 4, 2014)

Hello, ladies with SA. I just wanted to know if this is solely my problem, or if it is common - do you feel totally out of place when hanging out with most groups of girls?? I've always felt this way, but it really hit home this past weekend. 

It was our work Christmas party, and a girl at work asked if I wanted to come to her place before the party to get ready, as a bunch of other girls from the office were going. Since she was being nice in trying to include me, and I had nothing else to do between the time work ended and the party started, I felt obligated to go. But geeze, I have never felt more out of place.

They were all squeezed in front of the mirror, putting on tons of makeup and chattering constantly about what brands were their favorites. They were also blaring crappy pop music that I would never listen to in a million years myself, and changing their outfits multiple times. Meanwhile, I spent most of the time sitting on the couch on my phone, as it took me like 15 minutes to get ready, and I had no interest in what they were talking about. I just felt completely out of my element, and couldn't wait to get out of there.

Have any other females had this experience? And should I feel like a freak for not fitting in with other girls?? I'd love to hear other people's experiences. Thanks!


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## GGTFM (Oct 7, 2014)

I'm not a girl but if I had a vagina I'd feel out of place in a situation like that. So no, you're not alone


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

Right there with you.

I have always been able to talk to men easier than most females. most but not all...but they are far and few inbetween. If I had been at the place you described I would have been on my phone too.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Yes, definitely. But I think I just feel like I can't relate to most humans lol. D:


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

Yes, but I also feel like I'm really bad at fitting into any group situation. I don't really relate to people well at all because I don't have much to talk about, either gender, I don't have things to relate to with anyone. I guess I feel more judged by girls, and more ignored by guys.


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## xxx13 (Apr 4, 2013)

Yes. I feel what you feel. I'm tomboy girl who dont wear make up nor care much about my appearance. All female that I know care so much about clothes and make up but basically I cant relate to most people men or women. I have never met anyone who want to talk about something deep like philosopy, religion, life and death. Most people that I met only talk about something that is superficial. That's why I just cant relate to anyone.


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## 0blank0 (Sep 22, 2014)

Yea but i mostly feel out of place anywhere with anybody.


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

mezzoforte said:


> Yes, definitely. But I think I just feel like I can't relate to most humans lol. D:


This^


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

Shameful said:


> Yes, but I also feel like I'm really bad at fitting into any group situation. *I guess I feel more judged by girls, and more ignored by guys*.


Underlined and bolded.. are the story of my lyfe T_T


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## ashleynoelle87 (Feb 22, 2014)

I feel out of place with anyone. But I totally understand what you mean. I had these friends who used to have get-togethers at their apartments, and I would go but I would feel totally uncomfortable. I always thought it was just me, it's nice to know I'm not alone.


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## NG77 (Dec 4, 2014)

Thanks for the replies everyone! Definitely helps to find out I'm not alone. I guess we just have to look that much harder to find people we genuinely like and relate to enough to feel comfortable hanging out with them. 

It sucks that it's so much harder for us, but I'm holding out hope that it's doable. I've had friends (girls and guys) in the past that I could be quite comfortable with, but sadly since moving to a new city, I've been reminded of how difficult it is for me to meet like-minded people, especially girls. I hope I eventually find more I can relate to. I know there are some out there, they are just difficult to find.


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## Rhaenys (Feb 25, 2014)

It depends of your personality too... I'm more of a loner and I don't feel obligated to be with friends (and so, I've never been to parties and I don't mind saying "No. Too many people."). But yes, some girls have different interests and I find myself often breaking their fun since all I can talk is philosophy and video games while they want to talk about guys, watch YouTube videos, ask "is my outfit okay for tonight?" or cry about a fictional character dying in a videoclip. I like make up and clothes but I hate talking about it.


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## Aribeth (Jan 14, 2012)

I've never had a female friend. Except this one lesbian online (that's why she bothered to talk to me, cause she was into me). But she was really suicidal and I haven't seen a trace of her in more than a year so she's probably dead by now.

Oh wait, there's my little cousin too, but she doesn't care about me anymore. We used to play co-op games on my pc. Good times :b

So yeah, I can't relate to other girls at all. Most stuff they do is just alien to me.


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## Herisson (Feb 6, 2014)

Yes, i remember hanging out with my dancing group (back in the day when i still was dancing) and didnt fit in at all. Once they got an idea that we all should put tons of make up on and pretend to be divas or sth o.o hated it always, yes we were teenagers but i never wanted to do the girly stuff they wanted to do and felt like a killjoy because of that.. meh, luckily not seeing them anymore.
But even with the little group of friends i have nowadays, with whom i get along well at school etc, if we hang out at someone's place for example, i feel uncomfortable, sucks :/


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## Sleeper92 (Oct 3, 2010)

Aribeth said:


> I). *But she was really suicidal and I haven't seen a trace of her in more than a year so she's probably dead by now.
> *


Oh my god i laughed so hard when i read that. Am going to hell


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## FunkyFedoras (Aug 30, 2013)

I know how you feel.


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## Charlieisnotcool (Jul 10, 2014)

NG77 said:


> They were all squeezed in front of the mirror, putting on tons of makeup and chattering constantly about what brands were their favorites. They were also blaring crappy pop music that I would never listen to in a million years myself, and changing their outfits multiple times. Meanwhile, I spent most of the time sitting on the couch on my phone, as it took me like 15 minutes to get ready, and I had no interest in what they were talking about. I just felt completely out of my element, and couldn't wait to get out of there.


Yeah basically all the time...they act like stupid chickens.


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## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

That sounds exactly what id do.
Sit on my phone or just stare at floor haha.

I dnt like hanging out in groups and i try to avoid group when i can, especially groups of girls. Blehhhhh


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## equiiaddict (Jun 27, 2006)

Yes, I know exactly what you mean! This is one of the many reasons why it's easier for me to get along with guys and why I have more male friends.

I feel like most of the girls that I come into contact with only care about partying/getting trashed every weekend, makeup, clothes, obsessing over celebrities, Instagram, and eating Chipotle & Starbucks everyday. :blank I'm sorry, I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with some of those things in_* moderation*_, but I can't base a friendship off of them. It's like every girl I meet is exactly the same.

I find that I have more in common with most guys. Maybe it's the area I live in, but for once I would love to meet a girl that *ISN'T* into any of those things. (Not counting the few close female friends I already have, but I've known them for years and they've never been like that.)


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## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

I say for the most part I can relate to them incredibly amounts more than guys. But on the other hand I feel like I'm lagging more behind socially with girls than I ever have in the past. +5 years of isolation can do that I guess. And I find most of the girls in school I've chatted with... well ridiculously boring (obviously not all of them but some). I mean I would love to make friends with girls who talk about makeup and such as you describe in the op though. 

Guess my problem isn't that I can't relate but more that I don't click. Just gotta keep trying though.


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

I've heard that girls tend to develop their social skills faster than boys (I can't be bothered right now to check that claim, so idk if that's true), if true though, then for someone with social anxiety whose social skills are stunted by not being able to interact with others much, it's much harder to bridge that large social skill divide with girls than the smaller social skills gap with guys. That would only really affect younger people though, the social skills gap would close a few years post college when people have all matured.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

Yes, I can not relate to most females, just like I can not relate to most males.

But I think it's worse with females for me; either the inferiority complex (lookswise) kicks in or I just feel like a lousy, boring human being due to personality clashes (I'm calm and introverted, they're always hyper and extroverted). 
And with girls, talking **** behind backs always seems to be a thing, and I can't really digest it. Sure, I like gossip, but not the kind where someone gossips to you about someone behind their backs one minute, and the next when they're actually in the presence of the topic of the gossip pretend to be all friendly and nice and best-friends-foreverish.

I've found (both IRL and online) a lot more guys I can somewhat connect with and even chit-chat with than girls.


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## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

That's sort of why I envy guys sometimes. It seems like they can just walk up to another guy and be like "hey, I saw that you like beer/sports/insert other stereotype" and they'll be friends and that's that. It seems so uncomplicated and nice. 
With girls I feel a lot of the times you have to prove your friendship and if you break the social rules in a group in worst case scenario, you'll be frozen out and talked about your back, and it's relatively easy for that to happen. Very love/hate kind of friendships (but I guess that's only a bad thing depending on one's perspective. Could be seen as more intense and deep as well) more than guys seem to have.


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## alienbird (Apr 9, 2010)

I can't relate to anyone. A lot of girls around my age here already have kids. o.o Some are married, too. I definitely can't relate to any of that. Men make me feel more anxious than women, though. I would feel just as out of place in a group of men. I don't know what to talk about with anyone.


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## buhlue (Mar 8, 2013)

Only when they start talking about their previous relationships or how it's been forever since the last time they've had sex. (I've never had a BF and I'm a virgin). I guess it's just harder for me to talk to men/the opposite gender :/


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## Lune (May 25, 2011)

Its always been easier for me to talk with guys... Kinda sucks because I'd love to make female friends, I just don't really know how to talk to anyone and women seem so much harder for me to relate with... But I've found that's the case with everyone for me as I've gotten older


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## QuitSweatinMe (Aug 24, 2013)

I've found that most girls have this ability to make any small event into something gossip worthy and dramatic. I don't think where you buy your clothes or why that girl didn`t show up to a party is talk-worthy so I usually end up saying nothing with girls.


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## Ricebunnyx3 (Sep 1, 2010)

I'm not sure what "most girls" are since girls are so diverse. 
I feel out of place with anyone no matter what their gender is...
I know girls who like makeup, who like video games, who like make up and video games. I know girls who wear minimal make up and don't care for brand names and just buy whatevers at the drug stores. Girls who don't wear heels - sneakerheads. Girls who'd rather were sweats, girls who wear jeans, girls who wear skirts and dresses. Girls who like black, girls who like green, girls who like pink.
Girls with short hair... girls with long hair
girls who like clubbing
girls who'd rather stay at home watching the walkind dead
girls obsessed with zombies
girls obsessed with reality tv
girls obsessed with basketball...football
girls who like rock...hiphop...pop...r&b...


Like when people say "most girls." it always baffles me... because I've never experienced something like that before... I guess maybe for some reason you are always around girls who act a like/like the same thing... which is unfortunate


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## acidicwithpanic (May 14, 2014)

I feel uncomfortable around either gender. Each for different reasons. I used to be highly unattractive so growing up I felt intimidated by girls especially pretty ones. I'm 21 now and have had kind of a gradual ugly duckling type of transformation, but I still haven't completely moved past my feelings of inferiority.


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## BeautifulSilence (Nov 18, 2014)

I feel like this. Girls are often really judgemental and *****y and consequentially I feel more self conscious around then. I also don't have any knowledge/interest in girly things which doesn't help, although I do dress girly and wear make up. I've just never felt like I fit in in a group of girls.


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## giarose (Jan 9, 2015)

I feel like I cannot connect with girls for this reason. I have had enough drama in my life up to this point where I just have a low tolerance for anybody whos going to give me any problems. Maybe thats wrong of me.. but I just cant seem to hold it in when I feel like people are making mountains out of molehills. I tend to gravitate towards guys because of it. And no Im not that girl who wants to sleep with them all. I just feel more comfortable as they are less judgmental and pretty laid back for the most part. At least the guys Im friends with are.


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## marsupilami29 (May 28, 2014)

I am with you. I always feel out of place when hanging around with any female friends. It makes me feel like I'm an alien from another planet.


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## going going Gone (Nov 24, 2014)

i can relate to them with basic things the way i can relate to guys as well and most humans in general - you know like family stuff,school stuff, entertainment.. but my views on certain subjects can be quite different to most girls my age because i'm not really into all this 'mainstream' stuff - i hate most tv, i hate chart music, i don't care about celebrities i don't care about what's trending.. I found that guys tend to be more open-minded about things and i can also relate to a lot of guys at school in terms of my beliefs and attitude a lot more than most girls. But obviously not all guys but it's easier for me to find a guy that i enjoy talking to than a girl just because there isn't all that unnecessary competitive buls*** and backstabbing involved.

on the down side i often get the impression that the guy likes me and that can kind of make things awkward. Guys are also less empathetic and understanding than girls because well, they aren't girls and don't understand certain things so that's where i learn to appreciate female company. I like both but i think i get along with guys better. I always did.


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## ByMyself19 (Feb 5, 2014)

I can't relate to anything human..male or female.That's why I prefer being around with my pets.


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

BeautifulSilence said:


> *I feel like this. Girls are often really judgemental and *****y and consequentially I feel more self conscious around then. * I also don't have any knowledge/interest in girly things which doesn't help, although I do dress girly and wear make up. I've just never felt like I fit in in a group of girls.


This... I feel like an alien among my own gender..


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## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

I hate groups of ppl, nevermind a group of 'normal' girls. Ugh :/


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