# Dealing with dirty looks from others?



## DukeDuck

Does anyone else get extremely angry when they get dirty looks from strangers in public? How do you deal with it?

Strangely enough, I’ve found that this doesn’t annoy regular people that much. It doesn’t seem to bother them and they can just get on with their day. 

But for some reason it bothers me on a very deep level and I am unable to get on with my day because the thought of it keeps popping up in my head and I cannot focus on anything else. It keeps me wondering why they gave me that dirty look. And I get twice as upset if that dirty look was given by a girl (I’m a guy), because then it makes me think what’s wrong with me, etc. 

I’ve gotten dirty looks just for looking at women (not even checking them out, simply looking at them). Now I don’t even look at women at all because of this. And I’ve developed a sort of stare-phobia, where I avoid people’s line of eyesight and eye contact, and I actually give other people (especially girls) dirty looks on purpose as a form of a pre-emptive strike, so that they can’t give me a dirty look back. 

Some people have told me to smile back. Why would you smile back at someone giving you a dirty look? That’s kind of like being disrespectful to yourself isn’t it?


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## Sus y

If people is giving you a dirty look try to check on your appearance, if you look clean, healthy, well care of, well combed... 

I don't know, some women like people (in general) that people look at them and admire them, I personally like for example when other girls say that they like my outfit and such kind of things.


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## Blue Dino

If they are strangers, I could care less and just move on. Chances are they are people you will not see or encounter ever again outside of that dirty look encounter.


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## EarthDominator

As Blue Dino said here above, just move on. They are strangers you probably won't see again. (Unless you live in a small town). At some point, like me, you'll get used to it, so it won't bother you anymore after a while.


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## DarrellLicht

Some people have a resting face that looks kind of hostile and then you happen to land their line of sight. Unless they deliberately change their expression when they look upon you. In that case, there's not a lot you can do to change whatever it is that is causing them to treat you a certain way. Often I see this as a character flaw when a person couldn't manage to mind their own business then go out of their way at engaging you in a antagonistic way. 

It bothers me a lot when people stare me down and they don't say anything to me. In some cultures, that's how you start a fight. imo, you should never stare at anyone unless you intend to talk to them. Since there are a lot of people with differences in upbringing, you do have to be more accommodating. The best thing to do is make as if they aren't even there. Anyone who gives a dirty look but is not confrontational on top of that is a person not worth addressing and you may render them as invisible.


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## DukeDuck

EarthDominator said:


> As Blue Dino said here above, just move on. They are strangers you probably won't see again. (Unless you live in a small town). At some point, like me, you'll get used to it, so it won't bother you anymore after a while.


Well to me it doesn't really matter if they are strangers or not. A dirty look still leaves its mark. It's like a punch to your ego. If a stranger on the street punches you, then it doesn't really matter if you'll see them again or not, because a punch still hurts. Do you get dirty looks a lot? How have you learnt to deal with it?


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## versikk

A few possible reasons for the dirty looks:

1. They have resting **** face
2. They are intoxicated
3. They are mentally unstable
4. They find your clothing style, hair style or something similar, repulsive and can't contain their derision
5. They feel threatened by you for whatever reason and perform a "pre-emptive strike"
6. They give you a dirty look on purpose as a form of a pre-emptive strike (heh)


edit: no, you cannot and shall not equate it with a punch from a stranger. If a stranger punched you, that stranger is incredibly belligerent and very mentally unstable. Most people would not do that. A much larger percentage of people would give you a dirty look much sooner than punch you.

edit2: I can give dirty looks myself. if I give a dirty look it's because I'm depressed in combination with jealousy, embarassment, anxiety etc. Like if I see a hot girl I might give a dirty look because I'm trying to contain my excitement and horniness (I think it's better than having a wide gaped jaw and bugged eyes).


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## DukeDuck

DarrellLicht said:


> Some people have a resting face that looks kind of hostile and then you happen to land their line of sight. Unless they deliberately change their expression when they look upon you. In that case, there's not a lot you can do to change whatever it is that is causing them to treat you a certain way. Often I see this as a character flaw when a person couldn't manage to mind their own business then go out of their way at engaging you in a antagonistic way.
> 
> It bothers me a lot when people stare me down and they don't say anything to me. In some cultures, that's how you start a fight. imo, you should never stare at anyone unless you intend to talk to them. Since there are a lot of people with differences in upbringing, you do have to be more accommodating. The best thing to do is make as if they aren't even there. Anyone who gives a dirty look but is not confrontational on top of that is a person not worth addressing and you may render them as invisible.


Wow I wish I could think like you as well. What really irritates me about the issue is that I always try and mindread people and wonder what they're thinking in their heads when they give me that dirty look. And it drives me insane, because I can never know. I know about the hostile resting face. I've seen people change their expression to a dirty look when they see me though. And my mind keeps racing as to what's the reason. I dress well, have good hygiene and mind my own business most of the time, so to me its almost as if they're accusing me of something that I haven't done.


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## DukeDuck

versikk said:


> A few possible reasons for the dirty looks:
> 
> 1. They have resting **** face
> 2. They are intoxicated
> 3. They are mentally unstable
> 4. They find your clothing style, hair style or something similar, repulsive and can't contain their derision
> 5. They feel threatened by you for whatever reason and perform a "pre-emptive strike"
> 6. They give you a dirty look on purpose as a form of a pre-emptive strike (heh)


My clothing style is casual and I always have a short crop hairstyle, so I really don't see how it can be that. Unless there are people out there who hate casual people who aren't making a statement. I've gotten a lot of those dirty looks at daytime, so they can't be intoxicated. And most of them didn't really appear mentally unstable. I don't know why they'd feel threatened by me. I'm just a regular looking guy who minds his own business.


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## versikk

DukeDuck said:


> My clothing style is casual and I always have a short crop hairstyle, so I really don't see how it can be that. Unless there are people out there who hate casual people who aren't making a statement. I've gotten a lot of those dirty looks at daytime, so they can't be intoxicated. And most of them didn't really appear mentally unstable. I don't know why they'd feel threatened by me. I'm just a regular looking guy who minds his own business.


So, if you're as innocuous as you describe, when you get a dirty look can you look around quickly and see if that person gives dirty looks to everyone or to all people who look similar to you?

"Unless there are people out there who hate casual people who aren't making a statement. "

lol i've actually done this. I am kinda judgmental towards people in general (I have managed to minimise it quite a bit mind you) and even moreso in the past. I used to have a seething hatred for mainstreamers and have definitely emanated that hate thru my eyes more than once.


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## DukeDuck

versikk said:


> So, if you're as innocuous as you describe, when you get a dirty look can you look around quickly and see if that person gives dirty looks to everyone or to all people who look similar to you?
> 
> "Unless there are people out there who hate casual people who aren't making a statement. "
> 
> lol i've actually done this. I am kinda judgmental towards people in general and even moreso in the past. I used to have a seething hatred for mainstreamers and have definitely emanated that hate thru my eyes more than once.


'' a seething hatred of mainstreamers ''? Well that means you hate humanity in general lol. Don't worry I do too to some extent. I don't really look at the people who give me dirty looks to see if they're doing it to other people because that's tiresome and sometimes impossible to do without following the other person around. It's just personal to me, and I just try to mind read them. I wish I could read minds, that'll solve this issue.


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## versikk

DukeDuck said:


> '' a seething hatred of mainstreamers ''? Well that means you hate humanity in general lol. Don't worry I do too to some extent. I don't really look at the people who give me dirty looks to see if they're doing it to other people because that's tiresome and sometimes impossible to do without following the other person around. It's just personal to me, and I just try to mind read them. I wish I could read minds, that'll solve this issue.


I was just trying to help you but sorry if it wasn't a good enough advice

Yes I hate most of humanity. In fact humans disgust me. Humans are opportunistic self-centered liars. But that's not really the emphasis when I said "mainstreamers" , i was referring to people who dress in very normal clothing and don't stand out from the crowd at all.

Again sorry if i can't help.


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## DukeDuck

versikk said:


> I was just trying to help you but sorry if it wasn't a good enough advice
> 
> Yes I hate most of humanity. In fact humans disgust me. Humans are opportunistic self-centered liars. But that's not really the emphasis when I said "mainstreamers" , i was referring to people who dress in very normal clothing and don't stand out from the crowd at all.
> 
> Again sorry if i can't help.


Hey man that was good advice. I'm not complaining.

I wouldn't say all humans are opportunistic and self centred liars. I'd say only half of them are. You just need to focus on the good part of humanity.

Plus there are a lot of good things about humanity. Humans are the only species who help other species even if they get nothing in return.


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## versikk

DukeDuck said:


> Hey man that was good advice. I'm not complaining.
> 
> I wouldn't say all humans are opportunistic and self centred liars. I'd say only half of them are. You just need to focus on the good part of humanity.
> 
> Plus there are a lot of good things about humanity. Humans are the only species who help other species even if they get nothing in return.


I know there's lots of good in humans. Doesn't negate the non-good stuff. but I'd rather we start a separate thread if you want to continue that discussion, unless you want to derail your own thread (your choice, I'll follow suit)


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## 917554

DukeDuck said:


> My clothing style is casual and I always have a short crop hairstyle, so I really don't see how it can be that. Unless there are people out there who hate casual people who aren't making a statement. I've gotten a lot of those dirty looks at daytime, so they can't be intoxicated. And most of them didn't really appear mentally unstable. I don't know why they'd feel threatened by me. I'm just a regular looking guy who minds his own business.


The same happens to me. I can't get their facial expression out of my head for a long time and I start overthinking things. If it was really my appearance I can shake it off but if there's nothing Wong it just torments me. I try to not care and distract myself but when it's quiet or something bad happens I remember. People with SA are not all the same. Some have a higher tolerance like normal people to these small things or have built it up. I rely wish I could not care and it frustrates me so much. Adds to the anger.


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## DukeDuck

versikk said:


> I know there's lots of good in humans. Doesn't negate the non-good stuff. but I'd rather we start a separate thread if you want to continue that discussion, unless you want to derail your own thread (your choice, I'll follow suit)


I started a new thread about that issue. Here's the link: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f24/are-humans-a-good-species-2113570/#post1091564242


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## DukeDuck

HollowAraman said:


> The same happens to me. I can't get their facial expression out of my head for a long time and I start overthinking things. If it was really my appearance I can shake it off but if there's nothing Wong it just torments me. I try to not care and distract myself but when it's quiet or something bad happens I remember. People with SA are not all the same. Some have a higher tolerance like normal people to these small things or have built it up. I rely wish I could not care and it frustrates me so much. Adds to the anger.


I know what you mean. It's really a nuisance. The worst thing about it is that you can't really get even in a situation like that. There's no comeback to a dirty look. If someone punches you, then you can punch them back and the score can be even 1-1. But in the case of a dirty look, the score will always be 1-0. That's what's really frustrating.

When I was younger, dirty looks never bothered me that much. But at some point it started to have an effect on me.


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## Typhus

This infuriates me when it happens. The first thought is " What the **** have I ever done to you ". It amazes me that people would think of themselves so "highly" that they would just give looks of disgust to random strangers, for whatever miniscule reason, whether it would be clothing or how someone walks.

We all bleed the same colour and all out **** stinks. The only way is to either give them a dirty look back (And risk a fight) or just not look at people in general which is usually the best thing in general.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## komorikun

Maybe you are paranoid.


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## Typhus

komorikun said:


> Maybe you are paranoid.


Someone clearly staring at you with a ****face isn't a case of paranoia.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DukeDuck

Typhus said:


> This infuriates me when it happens. The first thought is " What the **** have I ever done to you ". It amazes me that people would think of themselves so "highly" that they would just give looks of disgust to random strangers, for whatever miniscule reason, whether it would be clothing or how someone walks.
> 
> We all bleed the same colour and all out **** stinks. The only way is to either give them a dirty look back (And risk a fight) or just not look at people in general which is usually the best thing in general.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not looking at people in general is a very unpleasant way of living life. I have tried it. Even when walking on the street I keep my head down and am afraid to look up. That actually makes the problem worse because then you feel like you are being oppressed by the public.


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## versikk

DukeDuck said:


> Not looking at people in general is a very unpleasant way of living life. I have tried it. Even when walking on the street I keep my head down and am afraid to look up. That actually makes the problem worse because then you feel like you are being oppressed by the public.


Always keep your head high


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## Typhus

DukeDuck said:


> Not looking at people, in general, is a very unpleasant way of living life. I have tried it. Even when walking on the street I keep my head down and am afraid to look up. That actually makes the problem worse because then you feel like you are being oppressed by the public.


Don't keep your head down. Keep it up straight. You don't have to keep looking at everyone you pass in the street just for constant validation or to see how they view you, that too is a very unpleasant and self-destructive way of living as well.


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## DukeDuck

Typhus said:


> Don't keep your head down. Keep it up straight. You don't have to keep looking at everyone you pass in the street just for constant validation or to see how they view you, that too is a very unpleasant and self-destructive way of living as well.


I don't really look at them for validation. It's just that I'm afraid of getting dirty looks because that ruins my mood. So it's not like I'm even expecting them to smile at me, I'm just expecting them to not give me any trouble and let me be.


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## Pokabu72

DukeDuck said:


> Not looking at people in general is a very unpleasant way of living life. I have tried it. Even when walking on the street I keep my head down and am afraid to look up. That actually makes the problem worse because then you feel like you are being oppressed by the public.





DukeDuck said:


> I don't really look at them for validation. It's just that I'm afraid of getting dirty looks because that ruins my mood. So it's not like I'm even expecting them to smile at me, I'm just expecting them to not give me any trouble and let me be.


Keep your head high and just ignore it. Chances are, they're giving you dirty looks because they think you're staring at the floor or at their shoes. They can't read your mind, so they would just assume that that's what you're doing.


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## StillFighting13

I have the same situation but a little different. Firstly, I have never lived this situation with a women, and if they do I wouldnt care since they probably are not trying to bully me. I try to give the dirty looker his own medicine so that he would afraid to look but I fail since Im afraid to fight. Do you hate and regret when you look away?


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## unemployment simulator

DukeDuck said:


> Well to me it doesn't really matter if they are strangers or not. A dirty look still leaves its mark. It's like a punch to your ego.


completely agree, its kinda like a subtle way of giving someone the finger, its incredibly rude and disrespectful and there is f all you can do because even if you try to give them a look back most of the time they will not even give you the chance, they look away and move on.
this stuff drives me mad. I go out with a clean slate, feeling fine, then things like this just make the rest out the day out miserable and I am then in a bad mood. I mean what gives someone the right to do something like that? some people, they act like I have spat in their mothers face or something. I mean, I could at least understand it if I have come across this person before and pissed them off or something. but someone I have never met, seen or interacted with before, you cannot stop overthinking why? just wtf. if it rarely happened like once a year or something then fine. but when it happens almost every time you go out for a few hours, you can't help but overthink.


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## DukeDuck

Pokabu72 said:


> Keep your head high and just ignore it. Chances are, they're giving you dirty looks because they think you're staring at the floor or at their shoes. They can't read your mind, so they would just assume that that's what your doing. People can sense your fear (since it's written all over your face and body language), but they'll just assume there's a problem with you. (Believe me, I would know.)


I don't know why they're giving me a dirty look, but that's what frustrates me. I keep wondering if there's something wrong with my appearance or something. I don't think people would respond badly to fear. Like if you see a person on the street who looks scared, why would you give them a dirty look?


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## DukeDuck

StillFighting13 said:


> I have the same situation but a little different. Firstly, I have never lived this situation with a women, and if they do I wouldnt care since they probably are not trying to bully me. I try to give the dirty looker his own medicine so that he would afraid to look but I fail since Im afraid to fight. Do you hate and regret when you look away?


Yes I do hate myself whenever I look away. Makes me feel weak. I think most people who are coming to bully you wouldn't give you a dirty look. They'd give you a twisted smile that said '' Some sh*t's about to go down, son '' lol


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## DukeDuck

unemployment simulator said:


> completely agree, its kinda like a subtle way of giving someone the finger, its incredibly rude and disrespectful and there is f all you can do because even if you try to give them a look back most of the time they will not even give you the chance, they look away and move on.
> this stuff drives me mad. I go out with a clean slate, feeling fine, then things like this just make the rest out the day out miserable and I am then in a bad mood. I mean what gives someone the right to do something like that? some people, they act like I have spat in their mothers face or something. I mean, I could at least understand it if I have come across this person before and pissed them off or something. but someone I have never met, seen or interacted with before, you cannot stop overthinking why? just wtf. if it rarely happened like once a year or something then fine. but when it happens almost every time you go out for a few hours, you can't help but overthink.


I feel your pain. It ruins your day and you can't focus on anything else. And you end up spending the day obsessing over that one person who gave you that look when they actually deserve no attention at all.

I often misinterpret people though lol. I sometimes think they're giving me a dirty look but they just might be in a bad mood. Another thing is that when someone gives you a dirty look, it makes you feel like they're thinking that there's something about you that doesn't match with their expectations of what people should be like.


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## Pokabu72

DukeDuck said:


> I don't know why they're giving me a dirty look, but that's what frustrates me. I keep wondering if there's something wrong with my appearance or something. I don't think people would respond badly to fear. Like if you see a person on the street who looks scared, why would you give them a dirty look?


If you see a man on the street and he's scared, it's plausible for people to sympathize with him if he was running for his life. It's pretty much the same thing with anxiety (with the whole "running for your life" thing), but because anxiety is a cognitive matter and not a physical ailment or anything like that, they'll just assume that _you're _the problem. They don't see or realize the war that rages within the anxious mind. It's unfortunate, but that's how people are. They don't really care about your problems unless they know you on a personal level, and for that matter, you shouldn't care what they think. They're just judging you for who they think you are. Beyond the anxiety and all the scars and agony it causes, there's a real person down there who wants to be seen and accepted for who they are. As long as you remember that, you'll forget about the dirty looks and everything and focus on where you want to see yourself.


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## versikk

Pokabu72 said:


> They're just judging you for who they think you are. Beyond the anxiety and all the scars and agony it causes, there's a real person down there who wants to be seen and accepted for who they are. As long as you remember that, you'll forget about the dirty looks and everything and focus on where you want to see yourself.


Way cool


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## Cascades

Ha, was just searching for a post like this. Excuse the little hijack, but I need to vent.

I'm female and I HATE when people look at me, it makes me angry actually. I get home around 12:15 am, and there's always a guy who walks past my apartments at this time. Stares. Constantly. Like doesn't break contact, continues on walking but looks back 4 or 5 times. Never spoken to him and it kinda creeps me out. This just happened again 15 minutes ago and it's got my blood boiling. 

I'll admit I give out some dirty looks to people if I catch them looking at me. I do this because I was taught not to stare, I find it rude. I always ask myself why does everyone have to look at everyone. Like, if I'm grocery shopping walking down the aisle, I focus on shopping and barely look at people. I'm not stupid, I can see out of the corner of my eye when people are staring and it infuriates me because I think to myself "Can't you just concentrate on whatever it is you're doing?! Why do you have to look at me?!" I know in this day and age, everyone looks at people, it's natural behaviour and you have to watch out for crazies but staring is another thing. Maybe you're staring or looking a bit too long. As other's have said, could be resting ***** face coming from the female. I also think girls get stared at alot and like myself, get tired of people always looking at us. I know that sounds like such a ***** thing to say, and I sound up myself, but for me, I already have SA and feel uncomfortable in public and when I look up, I catch everyone's eyes looking at me it makes me feel worse. I did once stare back at a guy because I got so fed up with things that day. He smiled a little and I immediately relaxed, in fact it made me feel better. Maybe try a quick short smile and see the reactions you get? 

Sorry I rambled and took over your thread with my pointless rant and probably unhelpful tiny advice but I needed to get it out.


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## DukeDuck

Cascades said:


> Ha, was just searching for a post like this. Excuse the little hijack, but I need to vent.
> 
> I'm female and I HATE when people look at me, it makes me angry actually. I get home around 12:15 am, and there's always a guy who walks past my apartments at this time. Stares. Constantly. Like doesn't break contact, continues on walking but looks back 4 or 5 times. Never spoken to him and it kinda creeps me out. This just happened again 15 minutes ago and it's got my blood boiling.
> 
> I'll admit I give out some dirty looks to people if I catch them looking at me. I do this because I was taught not to stare, I find it rude. I always ask myself why does everyone have to look at everyone. Like, if I'm grocery shopping walking down the aisle, I focus on shopping and barely look at people. I'm not stupid, I can see out of the corner of my eye when people are staring and it infuriates me because I think to myself "Can't you just concentrate on whatever it is you're doing?! Why do you have to look at me?!" I know in this day and age, everyone looks at people, it's natural behaviour and you have to watch out for crazies but staring is another thing. Maybe you're staring or looking a bit too long. As other's have said, could be resting ***** face coming from the female. I also think girls get stared at alot and like myself, get tired of people always looking at us. I know that sounds like such a ***** thing to say, and I sound up myself, but for me, I already have SA and feel uncomfortable in public and when I look up, I catch everyone's eyes looking at me it makes me feel worse. I did once stare back at a guy because I got so fed up with things that day. He smiled a little and I immediately relaxed, in fact it made me feel better. Maybe try a quick short smile and see the reactions you get?
> 
> Sorry I rambled and took over your thread with my pointless rant and probably unhelpful tiny advice but I needed to get it out.


Are they just staring in general or specifically giving you dirty looks? Chances are that you're just an attractive girl and that's why they're looking at you.

As for that guy who stares at you every day at 12:15 am, that is kind of creepy. Or you never know he might just be an off duty cop who's looking out for trouble.


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## someone1981

DukeDuck, : -)

I know you wrote about the stares you receive about a month ago, but I feel like I understand where you're coming from.

Sometime ago I had to go to a court hearing to give emotional support to my then partner. Anyway, as his mother and I were outside of the courtroom but in the "little room/doorway" area, a middle aged woman who appeared about 50 and "looked" Hispanic... stared at me with Wide Eyes and a Gaping Mouth. She even ran into the door while staring at me. Mind you, there was no one else or anything around us for her to stare at. She definitely stared directly at me as though I was someone who looked very similar to someone she knew... like either someone who passed away etc.? Anyway, I did call her out and told my partner's mother that I wondered what that "b-" was staring at. This made this woman's eyes and mouth get bigger. She was such an azzhole. Just p!ssed me off. 

Anyway, I'll describe what I looked like. I'm a woman who was 30 years old at the time. I'm 5'4 and was overweight but not severely obese. I was clean with shoulder length straight dark hair, brown eyes, and light/"yellowish" complexion. I'm 1/4 Asian-American and mostly German-American but many people always tell me I look "Hispanic" or Middle Eastern." I have triangle, slightly "bulbous" type nose and wore dark rimmed glasses with a navy blue cord sweater and dark brown pants with black loafers and a dark grey beret. I physically didn't stick out at all. It still wonder what the f-ck she was looking at and why? 

Again I think for me it was 'cause I looked like a loved one of hers who passed on or was in jail or something?? I found out later on that day that she was a lawyer. I spoke about this to my partners mother technically in front of people waiting outside of court and I spoke about it where I sounded perturbed. This one male lawyer glared at me over it. Still... that lady lawyer who kept staring at me as though I ran over her dog really agitated me. They say many animals... not just people... take staring as a sign of aggression.


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## netsnetsnets

I'm a woman, but I wear my hair dyed, cropped short, and partially shaved in a conservative Midwest state (ay where my Kansans at), so I get plenty of stares, some of them dirty looks. Some of them are just creepy staring. There's no way to teach you how to laugh them off like I do, but if it really bothers you, it's usually good to give them a look back like you smelled a fart - not too aggressive, just mild disgust and "wtf are you looking at".

Usually has them snapping back to whatever they were doing and pretending they weren't looking.


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## twitchy666

*creepy scorn*

frowns

scowls

ugh!

50:50 either the same back at them or ignore, proud of myself.

remembering being back in my old 1990s hometown in 2015, 2016
wandering about doing tasks for my dad, getting my car fixed...

all queued, gridlocked drivers staring at me if raining, on foot.

same everywhere. whatever weather, however I'm dressed, I love a storm, not fierce sunrays wearing sandals, t-shirt & shorts in snow & ice suits me

old biddies or little teen girls glaring at me. Awwwwww.. cold!! poooor You!

antisocial


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## SwtSurrender

Yes, you should smile first at people to melt them with kindness. Well if you feel good then go ahead and smile at others and don't worry how they respond. Do you ever wonder why others smile at you? It must be for that exact reason. They be melting angry looks with their own sweet smiles. Where there is a negative you can always give a positive and win the situation. Then you wouldn't have to just take their angry looks without giving out your smile for no reason to counteract how you'll feel for the rest of the day. Oh here comes an angry look, wait for it, SMILE!, there goes another angry look turned happy.

I usually see angry looks from couples when I look at their boyfriends.... Sometimes I try to catch a quick glimpse before his girlfriend sees me and then I'm happy because it looks like I am avoiding them but I already saw her boyfriend, so. I think, oh that guy would be so good for me. Their angry looks might be just mirroring my look, maybe I look angry when I look at couples. Other than that they give angry looks to anyone who is single and then they shove themselves in my face. Other times I look and smile but some look pissed off or don't bother smiling back. Most of the time I just try to get a glimpse of the girlfriends. Many times I can get a glimpse of both and then look at the ground or up in the air like a retarded.


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## twitchy666

SwtSurrender said:


> Yes, you should smile first at people to melt them with kindness. Well if you feel good then go ahead and smile at others and don't worry how they respond. Do you ever wonder why others smile at you? It must be for that exact reason. They be melting angry looks with their own sweet smiles. Where there is a negative you can always give a positive and win the situation. Then you wouldn't have to just take their angry looks without giving out your smile for no reason to counteract how you'll feel for the rest of the day. Oh here comes an angry look, wait for it, SMILE!, there goes another angry look turned happy.
> 
> I usually see angry looks from couples when I look at their boyfriends.... Sometimes I try to catch a quick glimpse before his girlfriend sees me and then I'm happy because it looks like I am avoiding them but I already saw her boyfriend, so. I think, oh that guy would be so good for me. Their angry looks might be just mirroring my look, maybe I look angry when I look at couples. Other than that they give angry looks to anyone who is single and then they shove themselves in my face. Other times I look and smile but some look pissed off or don't bother smiling back. Most of the time I just try to get a glimpse of the girlfriends. Many times I can get a glimpse of both and then look at the ground or up in the air like a retarded.


smiling in street exhibits nasty superiority, mockery... workplace... boss, understaff I have the most problems with. get on with boss only, always felt like a PA to the boss.

any glowing grin seems brutal in public. I often have a reason to do it as I glance at strangers when I'm in a tip-top mood for a reason. overall striding past / through / ahead of everyone. driven by frustration - controlled - pride. energetic supplies enough for me to think why people are so slow

that approach - left/right avoidance? signpost between us... other people...
I swerve by bike (other bikers - hilarious!) or walkers or when we both on foot.


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## millenniumman75

I just wouldn't understand why complete strangers would give me dirty looks out of the blue unless they were perverts. At that point, I'd give them the evil eye and walk away.


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## Alex4You

I don't think I've ever gotten a dirty look from anyone. I usually walk with my head held high and make brief eye contact with people and give them a quick smile.. usually get one back.


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## Lohikaarme

I don't recall ever being on the receiving end of one. Let's pretend I got one though...now that my bull**** tolerance is reduced I think it would be fun to reply "Is there something on my face, or did breakfast not agree with you?"


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## versikk

Mlt18 said:


> When this happens I just think of how my outside doesn't match my inside anyway. It's a common thing for people to make fun of me for looking younger. Maybe they think I'm a narcissist, boring (because of SA) or just a dumb, basic ***** because I don't dress fancy or edgy.


if u basic for a reason we cool


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## twitchy666

DukeDuck said:


> Not looking at people in general is a very unpleasant way of living life. I have tried it. Even when walking on the street I keep my head down and am afraid to look up. That actually makes the problem worse because then you feel like you are being oppressed by the public.


I translate the attitude of staring downwards of passers by: checking where they're treading.. loads of dog muck, goose muck all over this town with rivers, grass.. I spend my inspection on foot and bike, to avoid these; this can accumulate in volume on shoe sole

too much average 50:50 looking at or away. more comfy in music festivals or raves than standard streets. very sore with pain about human addiction. HELLO!
is torture.

supermarket checkout people stare at sky, upper corner of warehouse building
quite a painful gesture. maybe aimed to relieve our stress by being ignored, not chatted at?


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## JohnDoe26

DukeDuck said:


> Does anyone else get extremely angry when they get dirty looks from strangers in public? How do you deal with it?
> 
> Strangely enough, I've found that this doesn't annoy regular people that much. It doesn't seem to bother them and they can just get on with their day.
> 
> But for some reason it bothers me on a very deep level and I am unable to get on with my day because the thought of it keeps popping up in my head and I cannot focus on anything else. It keeps me wondering why they gave me that dirty look. And I get twice as upset if that dirty look was given by a girl (I'm a guy), because then it makes me think what's wrong with me, etc.
> 
> I've gotten dirty looks just for looking at women (not even checking them out, simply looking at them). Now I don't even look at women at all because of this. And I've developed a sort of stare-phobia, where I avoid people's line of eyesight and eye contact, and I actually give other people (especially girls) dirty looks on purpose as a form of a pre-emptive strike, so that they can't give me a dirty look back.
> 
> Some people have told me to smile back. Why would you smile back at someone giving you a dirty look? That's kind of like being disrespectful to yourself isn't it?


Is it mostly from women or do you get it equally from men as well?

Perhaps you come off as real nervous. Like if you're so self-consciously trying not to look at anyone, and you take a quick glance and look away, then that really makes you look shady and suspicious. Hence the dirty looks and the heightened awareness from people.


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## SwtSurrender

twitchy666 said:


> smiling in street exhibits nasty superiority, mockery... workplace... boss, understaff I have the most problems with. get on with boss only, always felt like a PA to the boss.
> 
> any glowing grin seems brutal in public. I often have a reason to do it as I glance at strangers when I'm in a tip-top mood for a reason. overall striding past / through / ahead of everyone. driven by frustration - controlled - pride. energetic supplies enough for me to think why people are so slow
> 
> that approach - left/right avoidance? signpost between us... other people...
> I swerve by bike (other bikers - hilarious!) or walkers or when we both on foot.


Haha, yeah I agree. But if others smile at me with pride then I can exchange the same pride back.


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