# I've found that positive thinking only goes so far.



## when will we be new skin (Aug 18, 2009)

Sure, it works for little things like going to the grocery store or ordering food or answering the phone.

But as much as I try to "think positive" before a big presentation, I'm still a complete and utter mess once I get up there.


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## britisharrow (Jun 18, 2009)

I don't find it works even for the grocery store, I believe there may be a way to apply it in a realistic way. Through CBT for example, which is backing up the ideas with EVIDENCE.

Without evidence I don't believe something. Now someone might say, well is there evidence to say people are looking at and laughing at you, well that's getting into CBT which I support.

Repeating to myself that things are or will get better I find to be frustrating, if it works for other people fine.


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## Qoder (Sep 2, 2009)

...


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## thelonelyloner (Apr 24, 2009)

when will we be new skin said:


> Sure, it works for little things like going to the grocery store or ordering food or answering the phone.
> 
> But as much as I try to "think positive" before a big presentation, I'm still a complete and utter mess once I get up there.


Thats because you have no confidence in yourself most likely. You need confidence to pair with positve thinking.


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## Gloria14 (Sep 4, 2009)

I don't think it's a matter of necessarily positive thinking, but just realizing that everything is going to be okay.

Like, you'll be a bit nervous (nauseous, dizzy, or what have you) but your world won't come crashing down. You'll be all right in the end. Am I wrong? You only get scared to do your presentation, so you freak yourself out and ARE scared during it. But after you're okay. Cause you told yourself you'd be okay when it was over. Right? So keep telling yourself, and trying to believe it will be okay, no matter what happens. And if you do it enough, it eventually sinks in and you do start to believe it. It's the fear that's causing your anxiety, and that's what you need to eliminate. Try to find a way to laugh with it, regardless of how absurd that seems. Rationalize with yourself about why you're having the panic attack. In other words, explain to yourself why you're having it. Then, comfort yourself and be nice to yourself. Don't get mad or frustrated or upset with yourself. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. And tell yourself you will be okay. Because anxiety is another part of life that just comes and goes. That's all it is.

It might help if you take a look at this audio file. I downloaded it and this guy has really been helping me. It goes through the way to talk to yourself properly DURING a panic attack so you can keep it from escalating.
I recommend you have a look because it helped me out a lot.

http://attackyouranxiety.com/the_importance_of_what_you_say_to_yourself.php

This guy knows what he's saying because he's dealt with anxiety and gotten over it. Pretty impressive.

You can also find him at http://ilovepanicattacks.com/


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## John_in_SF (Mar 1, 2009)

I agree completely, wwbns. My experience is that most important thing is to RELAX and QUASH negative thoughts. That's it. If positive thoughts come, then it's a bonus. But I will settle for pleasant blankness over negative ideation.


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## roverred (Dec 23, 2007)

Self positive talk is definitely less effective during the event and self-talk prior to the event can only minimize the anxiety so much. But it sounds like you are expecting too much too fast. Or you believe you are being positive but you are actually pressuring yourself. It's pretty common to happen. Also it's also very important to develop a positive mindset for after the event, to handle the dealing with the inevitiable mistakes you will encounter.

For situations like a presentation, to be honest, I think the only way to improve on that is exposure with Positive Thinking. The positive thinking will allow you to improve each time, and hopefully minimizing the anxiety an very tiny bit at a time.


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## secretlyshecries (Sep 10, 2009)

> I don't think it's a matter of necessarily positive thinking, but just realizing that everything is going to be okay.
> 
> Like, you'll be a bit nervous (nauseous, dizzy, or what have you) but your world won't come crashing down. You'll be all right in the end. Am I wrong?


This stood out to me because I've just recently realised a big part of my problem is that when I dread something, I dread it like it's the end of the world-- literally. Like there'll be nothing else after the dreaded event, that the world will end the moment I go to/do this dreaded thing because it's just so bad (or so says my brain). It helps me to remind myself that there'll be a time AFTER the thing I'm worrying about. And to recall events in the past where I've worried and obsessed over something but in the end been fine-- and that there is always an _afterwards_.


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## power2theweak (Jan 2, 2009)

secretlyshecries said:


> This stood out to me because I've just recently realised a big part of my problem is that when I dread something, I dread it like it's the end of the world-- literally. Like there'll be nothing else after the dreaded event, that the world will end the moment I go to/do this dreaded thing because it's just so bad (or so says my brain). It helps me to remind myself that there'll be a time AFTER the thing I'm worrying about. And to recall events in the past where I've worried and obsessed over something but in the end been fine-- and that there is always an _afterwards_.


Yes, I agree. I've found that it helps to remind myself that I'm safe--that I'm not in any real danger.


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## Mr. SandMan (Aug 24, 2007)

I disagree...

If you can manage a way to cancle out all your negetive thoughts about yourself, and keep doing that, replacing it with positive thoughts even if you find them not true...because the fact is, a lot of the negetive thoughts we think aren't true, so whats the difference with replacing those thoughts with a postive one that may not be true?

Then replacing negetive activities that you find negetive, with positive ones, you can not do anything but go up...


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## bowlingpins (Oct 18, 2008)

I never really believed in the idea of replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. This is too superficial. If one wants to be positive, they should do positive things (work hard, do well) not sit there and reanalyze how a negative event can be perceived more positively.


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