# I have such a hard time making friends in classes



## saillias (Oct 5, 2008)

To be more specific, I don't, at all. In 3 years, I've made about 2 acquaintances, and only one I sorta kept in touch with outside of school. The only other people I ever talk to in class just happened to be people I went to high school with. 

I don't get it. It seems that by the first or second day of class, everyone has in-class friends already.


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## northernlight (Jul 12, 2009)

Seriously, I think it's harder in college/university than it was in high school. I have maybe 2 different acquaintances I meet every semester through groupwork or me striking luck and having the person sit next to me be warm and friendly when I attempt to make smalltalk, but as soon as the semester is over I lose touch. During the semester though I might ask them to come out for a 'end of week drink' or 'quick catch up', I'll always make there be a reason for us hanging out. The only people I've kept close with really is a couple of high school mates. 

I think more often than not, the people who appear to have heaps of friends in that class are just the people who spoke up first, as everyone is looking for someone to make them comfortable when they're in a room full of strangers.


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

Yeah, I never made any friends in college either. I talked to a handful of people, but I kept to myself for the most part. Most people would just talk to others and would eventually make some friends or acquaintances.


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## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

After nine years of college, I didn't make anything close to a friend in any class until this year. And I'm sure that won't last very long, because while he's been interested in helping me with things, I don't think it's important at all to him to keep in touch, so now that we're no longer in class together it's completely up to me to maintain contact with him. If I never saw or called him again, I doubt he'd ever even think to call me.


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## homer (Nov 23, 2008)

I'm the same way. I have noticed one thing though. My natural tendency when I walk into a class room is to pick a seat a comfortable distance from everyone else, even if I know the room is going to fill up. As an experiment I have tried just finding someone that looks friendly and sitting next to them, and it just seems easier to start conversations. Not just with the person you sit next to, but the people who come in the room after you also seem more talkative. Not exactly sure why this is.


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## kanarazu (Jul 4, 2009)

Me too. Even if I talk to someone, I never know how to follow up on it to turn it into a friendship, like how to ask them to do something with me or something...


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## saillias (Oct 5, 2008)

It sucks how making friends becomes so strange the more you grow up. As a kid "hey wanna be friends" "yea" and that was it. 

In college and as young adults in general there's a stigma against being forward in making friends with other people, but at the same time, so many people wish they had more friends, lol. It's like a general norm that you shouldn't say "hey man lets go out for drinks on friday" because you're supposed to have your own friends, and asking people to be friends in a classroom setting is needy, desperate, and makes them think you're pathetic.


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## april showers (Jun 27, 2009)

saillias said:


> It's like a general norm that you shouldn't say "hey man lets go out for drinks on friday" because you're supposed to have your own friends, and asking people to be friends in a classroom setting is needy, desperate, and makes them think you're pathetic.


That's what goes through my head too, but I wonder if that's actually true or not.

It seems that everyone had friends in-class, but really I think most of them are just making small talk to pass the time. Most of the time people are fine with talking to anyone. In the classes I've taken, it ussually takes a few days to a week before people find the seat that they stay in. So during those few days just try to get yourself somewhere where there are more people sitting by.

In highschool, I hardly talked in most of my classes but at least I had close friends. It's switched in college,there isn't a class where I don't have at least two people who I can talk to but I have no close friends to actually hang out with after class. :/


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