# Selective Mutism Breakthroughs?



## The Silent Juan (Jan 21, 2014)

Hi all, it's been a while since I've been on here before today. I have selective mutism and have just entered college. I don't want to be know as the "guy who doesn't talk" in yet another stage of school so I have kind of been brave hearting my way through college... So, when people talk to me, I usually say something like "yeah", and try my best not to stutter (I stutter when I'm real nervous or haven't talked in a while). But... I have had a few setbacks. Though it is not as hard for me to speak 1on1 to someone anymore, I just am not able to say anything when I am asked to present myself. I freeze up, think I am going to stutter and embarrass myself so I don't say anything... I just look down at the floor. That is one of the most horrible feelings I have ever felt. It has happened twice this year. 

Though I do speak (sometimes), I probably seem very anti-social because I don't really have any friends so I am always by myself. There are like 9-10 people I knew during high school/middle school that attend there, and I get the occasional Hi, but nothing else. It's been hard to make friends, I usually did not have to because I had 3 best friends in high school, but they are all in different colleges now. It's also been harder to pick up girls because I don't have a gateway guy to get me introduced anymore. Well, maybe it's my looks or I might have this anti-social vibe... I don't know lol. Anyway, is it healthy to brave heart through selective mutism like that? I'm not comfortable talking to people like that, but I do, it is very hard. Should I instead seek help from a psychologist? and I would already be seeing a psychologist but last time I was taken to one I refused help (I was 15... lol) and my parents told me "Fine, we will take you out, just don't come asking later" whoops... 

BTW, I still have a 504 plan active, so teachers don't make me speak in class, therefore I don't speak in front of them because I feel bad that I'm taking advantage of them...


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## Tsuba11 (Dec 27, 2014)

Hi, I had something like selective mutism, but wasn't sure if it was exactly selective mutism or not or just blank mind syndrome and anxiety. Anxiety paralyzes so that the thoughts freeze up more and the words do not roll off the tongue as easily. I honestly don't know if we experience the same type of "mutism." My mutism is in groups, but it is due to anxiety paralyzing me, and fear of sounding stupid if I do talk. You may simply just not know how to talk during presentations or group settings because you do not know how to bring out your voice. I would try practicing in front of a mirror every night before you go to bed. Challenge yourself to think of five things in your head, and then speak out those five things, in as much detail and articulation as possible. But at the same time, don't feel like you have to talk just so that you fit in. I know that making friends is important, but what's more important is your marks. If someone talks to you, do not premeditate what you will say as a response, because then your voice will freeze up even more. Just think premeditate "careful" thought. Even if you just respond with a one word answer, that's OK. Don't think that you have to jump into a conversation with the person. Just show interest in the conversation and chances are the person who engaged in conversation with you take the stage. Sorry I was unable to give more helpful advice. I know what it is like to be afraid to speak in public, but I'm unsure if I can relate with what true selective mutism is.


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## The Silent Juan (Jan 21, 2014)

Tsuba11 said:


> Hi, I had something like selective mutism, but wasn't sure if it was exactly selective mutism or not or just blank mind syndrome and anxiety. Anxiety paralyzes so that the thoughts freeze up more and the words do not roll off the tongue as easily. I honestly don't know if we experience the same type of "mutism." My mutism is in groups, but it is due to anxiety paralyzing me, and fear of sounding stupid if I do talk. You may simply just not know how to talk during presentations or group settings because you do not know how to bring out your voice. I would try practicing in front of a mirror every night before you go to bed. Challenge yourself to think of five things in your head, and then speak out those five things, in as much detail and articulation as possible. But at the same time, don't feel like you have to talk just so that you fit in. I know that making friends is important, but what's more important is your marks. If someone talks to you, do not premeditate what you will say as a response, because then your voice will freeze up even more. Just think premeditate "careful" thought. Even if you just respond with a one word answer, that's OK. Don't think that you have to jump into a conversation with the person. Just show interest in the conversation and chances are the person who engaged in conversation with you take the stage. Sorry I was unable to give more helpful advice. I know what it is like to be afraid to speak in public, but I'm unsure if I can relate with what true selective mutism is.


"Careful thought" ? could you explain this a bit more please, lol I always pre-think my words... and I usually when I'm in a conversation of sorts, I tend to look nervous and in a hurry because I don't want to speak... haha. and well, I do speak to family members (dad, mom, sister) and a few outside family members like grandma's. I also spoke to my ex- girlfriend very well, but that is because I got to know her better so I became more comfortable.


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