# Do you belong here?



## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Over the years I have heard (read) repeatedly that SASers will often say "I don't belong here". Meaning, they don't feel like SAS is a place they feel comfortable. Not belonging is a big issue with SA people. The whole reason we seek a place like this forum is to feel like we belong. 

Do you think you belong here? Why or why not?


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## TheForestWasDark (May 23, 2015)

For the time being i feel like it's a good forum distract myself, or to express my thoughts and beliefs while learning from others. I don't think i'm that resourceful as a person in that I don't have any ground-breaking ideas or thoughts. I am just another person that is very anxious and confused, but not as good at hiding it..i try to tell myself it's ok and what defines "me" is how I move forward as a cog, or not. I'm trying to turn my misanthropy inwards but have a lot of work to do on myself. It can manifest into anger and hate which is a very bad form of the ego. Everyone has the ability to do terrible things and be cruel. This is a facet i have not accepted yet. I just limit contact with others and just try to get through the day at this point without asking too many questions and try not to be another jackass running amok in the street.

This site helps me procrastinate I find which is good and bad depending on how you look at it but ill try to limit my use more in the near-future as i need other outlets and hobbies.


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## donistired (Nov 29, 2018)

I don't really feel like I belong anywhere. But maybe I'm just angsty.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Don said:


> I don't really feel like I belong anywhere. But maybe I'm just angsty.


 Do you get the impression that there isn't anyone else here who feels the same way?


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## funnynihilist (Jul 29, 2014)

No. Most of what I write here is promptly ignored. The people who tend to do best on this site now are the ones who pick a topic or mood and beat that same drum daily, over and over, until people identify their username with that topic or mood.
I guess you call that building a brand haha and I just don't have the energy for that.


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## donistired (Nov 29, 2018)

WillYouStopDave said:


> Don said:
> 
> 
> > I don't really feel like I belong anywhere. But maybe I'm just angsty.
> ...


I relate to a lot that people post on here and feel some solidarity by being here, but at the same time being in an online forum seems like a poor substitute for human connection. I don't really feel "integrated" into a community when I'm here. But I also feel that way in real life when I've tried being in groups/communities. I've actually made a couple of accounts before on this site. This is the first one that I've been somewhat active with though, so my mindset has changed a little in terms of feeling like I belong.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

nobody belongs here


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## rabidfoxes (Apr 17, 2016)

I've got a bit of an impostor syndrome thing going on. I know that's what it is and I can rationalise it, because I feel that way about everything, not just SA. So on a bad day I look around the forum and think: "well, this person and that person have serious SA, and I'm just here for the ride". Or: "what am I playing at, I should get my head out of my arse and pull myself together". Or: "I only feel that way because I'm being self-indulgent". 

On most days, though, I feel like I belong. Then I feel that I've got a bit of a connection with some users and the forum has a homely feel, where I can go for banter, venting and some straight talking. I recognise my own thought and behaviour patterns in other people's stories and feel less alone.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

i've posted a lot and been here a long time, but i guess i am not that memorable, lol....going off some recent events. i guess that is ok in some ways. 

i'm not close w/ anyone on here, too, obviously. 

do i feel like i belong here? i guess i don't feel all that welcome, but not so unwelcome...if this makes sense.


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## firestar (Jun 27, 2009)

In comparison to other places, yes.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Yeh.

I feel here I can be pretty much the raw, unfiltered, emotionally reactive, sometimes a bit of an arse version of me that I can't _quite_ be anywhere else. Also have been posting for so long now I do feel a bit like the people here are a weird family hah.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

SplendidBob said:


> I do feel a bit like the people here are a weird family hah.


you're the dad then :b

think i'm one of many creepy uncles


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

andy1984 said:


> you're the dad then :b


Well that would explain why this particular family is so dysfunctional .


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## Ghossts (Mar 6, 2014)

WillYouStopDave said:


> Over the years I have heard (read) repeatedly that SASers will often say "I don't belong here". Meaning, they don't feel like SAS is a place they feel comfortable. Not belonging is a big issue with SA people. The whole reason we seek a place like this forum is to feel like we belong.
> 
> Do you think you belong here? Why or why not?


Whether I belong here and whether I feel like I am accepted are totally different things.


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

I belong in this asylum.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I don't know, I'm not always being 100% authentic here because there's stuff I'd like to vent about that I either don't or touch on briefly. I think if I didn't restrict myself in this way for example if I made tons of threads about whatever's bothering me in detail, I'd annoy and offend many people (I don't care about bothering people depending on what it is, but with some stuff I do.) I also feel like I reach a depth of hatred and anger that many here can't relate to, I often identify with people/groups that people here hate. If I read about some serial killer I can usually see myself in their profile but it seems like most people can't or just pretend they can't relate, I don't know what it is. Like Ted Kaczynski or Joanna Dennehy or whoever (Not to say I'm exactly the same as any one person who has done something horrific but there are often similarities.) Not Elliot Rodger though I guess, ironically.

There are also other things about myself that I think set me apart from most people here that aren't related to anxiety. I also seem more dysfunctional than most people here in terms of life success and such.

I also think the atmosphere here was better in the past in some ways, so that's a bit sad.

Having said that this is one of the few places online where I've felt remotely comfortable and also allows a wide array of random discussion instead of being mostly focused on specific topics like other places I hang out online (Discord chat servers.) Also something about this place kept me coming back for such a long amount of time when I rarely do elsewhere. I'm usually more of a lurker/sporadic poster in other places. I guess it's comfortable in some way even if it's not 100% comfortable.

I think the Discord servers I hang out in are the 2nd best place I've found, they're full of autistic spectrum people (some diagnosed, some not,) with some similar special interests to me. However I'm not really close with any of these people and the atmosphere there is different to here. It's a little more open in some ways, but at the same time is less homely. Also a couple I've ended up in are less healthy than this forum, or can be that way some people I talk to are bizarrely sane (and one of those people is a hardcore sadist who is aroused by cooking/eating people which I love the contrast of. One of the most level headed people I've met online.) and some people are very the opposite and never not having a mental break down (where are in-between people anyway? Oh right this forum, yeah.) Different kinds of unhealthy/crazy though.

At the end of the day though I am often surrounded by people who hate themselves and other people, lots of suicidal people too.



funnynihilist said:


> No. Most of what I write here is promptly ignored. The people who tend to do best on this site now are the ones who pick a topic or mood and beat that same drum daily, over and over, until people identify their username with that topic or mood.
> I guess you call that building a brand haha and I just don't have the energy for that.


I notice your posts quite often even if I don't respond to them.


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## The Notorious D.B.L (Aug 2, 2016)

andy1984 said:


> nobody belongs here


I don't want to be on this bloody site, man. No one does.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

Historically, yes. It's been a nice little cove where I had a sense of anonymity void of drama.

Definitely less as of recent. Part of that is because I chose to become a mod, I guess.


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## Not Human (Apr 1, 2018)

I feel I can relate to some people here. So the answer would be "yes".


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

I don't feel like I belong anywhere, but I feel I belong a little more here than most places.


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## funnynihilist (Jul 29, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> I notice your posts quite often even if I don't respond to them.


Well thank you 

I should say that I've had this problem on the internet for the entire time I've been on the internet.
I think that the straightforward way in which I write is not conducive to creating a back and forth.
I think my writing style is too cold and from another time.
People these days are only interested in responding to whoever makes them *feel* something without it taking a lot of thought.
It's no coincidence that people on social media have learned how to adapt to this and adjust their behavior accordingly.
Just about everything on there is geared toward making the viewers feel something in the simplest way possible.

On a personal note, I do admire you Perse for sticking with your esoteric interests, I've kinda let mine slide over the past few years...


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## The Notorious D.B.L (Aug 2, 2016)

I don't feel like "here" is anywhere. I'm sat at home talking to miserable people who don't want to be "here".

It's all just no where near enough for me.

I'm going to a meet tomorrow, a real life SAS, and that won't be no where near enough either because I want way more from life than what's available. :stu


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## Entrensik (Apr 25, 2014)

Yes. Not as much as in years past though. I've had a pretty difficult life because of SA and being able to relate to so many other people helped me more then therapy or medication ever could. Also knowing your not alone is one of the most powerful things a human being can experience so I will always be thankful to SAS for giving me a community of people who can relate to the struggles that I've been through.



Persephone The Dread said:


> or can be that way some people I talk to are bizarrely sane (and one of those people is a hardcore sadist who is aroused by cooking/eating people which I love the contrast of. One of the most level headed people I've met online.)


Only you would encounter such a character online lol I love it. Stay amazing Persephone!

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## TheForestWasDark (May 23, 2015)

funnynihilist said:


> Well thank you
> 
> I should say that I've had this problem on the internet for the entire time I've been on the internet.
> I think that the straightforward way in which I write is not conducive to creating a back and forth.
> ...


You were one of the first people I noticed who responded to me when I came back to this site. I was surprised to because like you said, nobody wants to hear about abuse / suffering. I need to stop complaining so much as It only hurts me in the long-run, its not sustainable of course. Sorry if i sounded too negative or "trying to create a brand like you said". I feel like i was reborn in the past month with getting off the liquor, thats probably why my posts seem elementary and unoriginal/raw.. I realize its completely self-serving in the most part and this site should be more geared toward coping strategies or mental health support resources i suppose, perhaps a little optimistic cynicism can't hurt anyone either.


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## Entrensik (Apr 25, 2014)

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> I don't feel like "here" is anywhere. I'm sat at home talking to miserable people who don't want to be "here".
> 
> It's all just no where near enough for me.
> 
> I'm going to a meet tomorrow, a real life SAS, and that won't be no where near enough either because I want way more from life than what's available. :stu


Most people here are actually quite hopeful and positive from what I've witnessed. Every now and then you get a raging post or a very negative comment but for the most part people here are pretty chill.

Are you sure your not judging others based on how you feel?

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## funnynihilist (Jul 29, 2014)

bricky1 said:


> You were one of the first people I noticed who responded to me when I came back to this site. I was surprised to because like you said, nobody wants to hear about abuse / suffering. I need to stop complaining so much as It only hurts me in the long-run, its not sustainable of course. Sorry if i sounded too negative or "trying to create a brand like you said". I feel like i was reborn in the past month with getting off the liquor, thats probably why my posts seem elementary and unoriginal/raw.. I realize its completely self-serving in the most part and this site should be more geared toward coping strategies or mental health support resources i suppose, perhaps a little pessimism can't hurt anyone either.


I didn't mean you when I mentioned the brand thing. I think your posts are good.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

funnynihilist said:


> Well thank you
> 
> I should say that I've had this problem on the internet for the entire time I've been on the internet.
> I think that the straightforward way in which I write is not conducive to creating a back and forth.
> ...


I do think the internet has gradually moved from a mostly text based format to image/video based and over time people's collective attention span has deteriorated. I see this in myself too, though it's more like I'm very selective based on stuff I'm interested in as opposed to the format a lot of the time. But I used to be able to do very long pm back and forths with like 5-10 pms weekly or every few weeks, because there's a character limit for pms and it would take that many to respond to everything. That was in 2012/2013 with someone on this forum who is no longer around and I doubt I could manage that now with most people (it wasn't like on a topic I was super into either it was just generic talking about all kinds of things in a number of pms.)

But yeah thanks it's actually hard for me to stay motivated while doing most things, and I've also lost a lot of interests over time, which is frustrating but some seem to fuel themselves at least occasionally so can't really take credit I guess since I'm mostly functioning on the whims of my brain lol. :/



Entrensik said:


> Only you would encounter such a character online lol I love it. Stay amazing Persephone!


Thanks. Yeah I'm not sure what happened to my existence since 2017 lol, but I have come across a lot of interesting people online.


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## Sabk (Jun 15, 2017)

My experience with forums (fora?) is that I come and go. For a while I forgot about this place. Then remembered, and decided just yesterday, I think, to post again. 

I get wanting to belong. But honestly don't know if I care to belong or not. I just want to express myself freely. Some platforms are more fitting than others depending on mood, time and place.

Sent from my SM-A605F using Tapatalk


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## The Notorious D.B.L (Aug 2, 2016)

Entrensik said:


> Most people here are actually quite hopeful and positive from what I've witnessed. Every now and then you get a raging post or a very negative comment but for the most part most people here are pretty chill.
> 
> Are you sure your not just judging others based on who you feel?
> 
> Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


You're looking on the bright side and continue to do that! Focus on the positive and use this site as a tool to get better, then get out!

I see people who've been on this site for years on end, still dealing with the same ****. None of them want to be in this position. Check out the how are you're feeling thread.

I've been on SA sites for 10 years now and while I've made some progress from how bad I used to be, I'm still lonely as hell, still in the same boat really, like all the other people here, complaining and moaning how trapped and **** everything is for years on end. Most people are miserable on here and have been for years, even if they still show signs of a sense of humour at times. I see the same people, day after day, all the regulars, stuck in a never ending rut for years. :frown2:

There's not a single person in this thread who wants to be here, yet here we are.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

The threads/posts about being shy, having difficulty making friends/boyfriend, difficulty getting a job or just in general being awkward...I very much identify with. Seeing other people go through similar things makes me feel a bit better.

SAS has always been a haven for people age 16-27. I didn't join SAS until I was in my 30s. With everyone going on about living with their parents, being in college, losing their virginity, etc. I've felt rather out of place here. So not in the right age group and I was more thrown to the wolves once I became an adult than most here. Most seem like they were more coddled by their parents.

There also was a straight-edge ( uke) feel to this forum for the longest time. So many would go on and on about how they didn't drink, didn't do drugs, would never go to a bar or nightclub, would never have casual sex, and how those who did those things were base boring "normies" giving in to their animalistic desires. :roll

One good thing about the decline of SAS (less new members) is that the average age of posters has gone up I think.


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## exceptionalfool (Nov 30, 2018)

I don't think anyone belongs anywhere. We're just a lot of entitled animals wreaking havoc upon the ecosystem and the mystical inexplicable process of evolution that birthed us to this unprecedented station. We will probably bite the hand that feeds us until it suffers no more. Lord have mercy upon our souls and upon this heavenly spec, "on a mote of dust , suspended in a sunbeam" in a sea of darkness. I don't think enough outside the bubble, but it's just my nature man. I just want to ****. =l


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I don't feel like I do. But I don't know what it feels like.


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*how many born named such?*

everyone's name must be firstname / lastname = 'ya' or "thy name", "thou"

"thee name" = same as all? who that person known as "MEEE!"? only qualified here if thy name = YOU

no name allowed??? must - sheep? ANONN Holy! The NAMELESS? 4 limbs? 2 eyes?

each individual human of any type must be named "YOU" nonetheless ever.

worldwide siren bleating " YOOOUUU!!! " " YOOOUUU!!! " " YOOOUUU!!! " " YOOOUUU!!! " " YOOOUUU!!! " " YOOOUUU!!! " 24/7 forever. OI!!


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## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

Not really.


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## Candied Peanuts (Oct 23, 2017)

I have no where else,.. so yes?


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

i belong, there are many people here who understand a lot of what i have endured in life and how i feel, and vice versa.

I also feel like i can help people on here, which is pretty important to me.


Entrensik said:


> Only you would encounter such a character online lol I love it. Stay amazing Persephone!


i feel jealous, at the same time... i am one of those characters.

i seriously do not know where to find them myself, tho.



Persephone The Dread said:


> If I read about some serial killer I can usually see myself in their profile


I think a lot of people learn to "not understand" such people's worldview, much like people are socialised to condemn, and distance themselves from, so-called paraphilias.

ive always felt like i can understand such perspectives and see myself in them. or rather, i can entertain such ideas and do not feel like it's _impossible _for me to end up in similar shoes as it were.


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## Musicfan (Mar 4, 2017)

Nah, I don't really belong anywhere. I never get close to anyone on forums. Plus I never have much to say or offer so I'm one of those people in the background.


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## rabidfoxes (Apr 17, 2016)

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> There's not a single person in this thread who wants to be here, yet here we are.


I don't know about that. It's different for people with very bad anxiety (can't leave the house, etc.), but I don't see mine as a huge impediment. More like a rational response to an unhinged universe. It gets bad sometimes, sure, but I'd much rather be here than be out there, if you know what I mean.



Musicfan69 said:


> Nah, I don't really belong anywhere. I never get close to anyone on forums. Plus I never have much to say or offer so I'm one of those people in the background.


Dude, you're so not. I like your posts and I doubt I'm the only one.


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## The Notorious D.B.L (Aug 2, 2016)

rabidfoxes said:


> I don't know about that. It's different for people with very bad anxiety (can't leave the house, etc.), but I don't see mine as a huge impediment. More like a rational response to an unhinged universe. It gets bad sometimes, sure, but I'd much rather be here than be out there, if you know what I mean.
> 
> Dude, you're so not. I like your posts and I doubt I'm the only one.


I guess you can belong here, but none of us want to be here. I want to be out there enjoying real life experiences. And yeah, I feel like my own issues are sort of a rational response to what I've had to deal with too, but an irrational response at the same time. I guess what I mean is that it's normal to behave the way I've behaved, but not normal to take the behavior as far as I have.

Anyway, you're from the UK right? Where about are you? (I'm going to ask you if you want to meet for a chat if you're close enough, because I'm fed up to death with being online, being here on SAS lol :b)


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## leaf in the wind (Mar 28, 2017)

I probably belong here more than anywhere else. I've made a few friends off this website that have become almost like family in "real life". It feels less alone to know other people are going through their lives in a similar way to me... or can at least comprehend what it feels like.


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## Fever Dream (Aug 18, 2015)

IDK, I expect just about everyone on here is going to say that "I don't belong here, or anywhere else". Perhaps a more relevant question(s) might be that if you left/cut off ties completely, would anyone care? Would anyone even notice?


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## rabidfoxes (Apr 17, 2016)

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> I guess you can belong here, but none of us want to be here. I want to be out there enjoying real life experiences. And yeah, I feel like my own issues are sort of a rational response to what I've had to deal with too, but an irrational response at the same time. I guess what I mean is that it's normal to behave the way I've behaved, but not normal to take the behavior as far as I have.
> 
> Anyway, you're from the UK right? Where about are you? (I'm going to ask you if you want to meet for a chat if you're close enough, because I'm fed up to death with being online, being here on SAS lol :b)


 Right, Yorkshire. I don't think anyone is close enough - I've look for SA meets nearby but drew a blank : /


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## The Notorious D.B.L (Aug 2, 2016)

rabidfoxes said:


> Right, Yorkshire. I don't think anyone is close enough - I've look for SA meets nearby but drew a blank : /


There's a couple of mental health based meets in Leeds and Sheffield. Next closest is the Nottingham and Derby SA group, and then the Birmingham groups.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Fever Dream said:


> IDK, I expect just about everyone on here is going to say that "I don't belong here, or anywhere else". Perhaps a more relevant question(s) might be that if you left/cut off ties completely, would anyone care? Would anyone even notice?


 On this forum? It depends on a few different things.

Unfortunately, the user names that some people choose when signing up are not very memorable or unique. Or they are unique in a way that is not conducive to being memorable. For example, someone could choose a totally unique 16 character user name that no one would remember because it's just a jumble of nonsensical letters, numbers and so forth.

Sometimes people pick names that are very similar or related to other names and thus, people get them confused in memory with other people. For example (making up some names that may or may not exist on SAS) Lost - Lost1 - Lostforever - HopelesslyLost - LostNHopeless. So if any or all of those people rarely post or if they don't frequently post or are not very charismatic or they disappear, it's iffy that people will remember them. Unfortunately, just like in real life, people who blend into the background are kind of invisible. Which is actually sad because each person is someone and maybe that isn't always something that people are thinking about.

But for more frequent posters and/or people who have a memorable name or memorable traits? Yes. When they disappear, people do notice. There are people from SAS past that I think and wonder about from time to time. And often, they did pop back up from time to time.


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## Musicfan (Mar 4, 2017)

rabidfoxes said:


> Dude, you're so not. I like your posts and I doubt I'm the only one.


That's nice of you to say. I'm just feeling a little down lately and haven't posted for a bit. Thanks for being kind


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)




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## wmu'14 (Sep 17, 2010)

Yes. Other users know who I am. It's why I continue to post.


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

Yes, in terms of being an outcast/alienated for most of my life.

No, in terms of many personal connections and/or being well-known around here.


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## railcar82594 (Mar 1, 2016)

Only so much as having similar symptoms to some here. Very few postings done are actually by severe social phobics I'd noticed, but at the same time there are plenty enough here with varying degrees of social anxiety, or social alienation, social awkwardness|inability that mess up significant portions of their lives. 

As for me, I don't really connect well to anyone in general, and don't really feel belonging here either. But it's a much safer place to share thoughts and be understood somewhat than most any other places. And it can be kind of a free anon "group therapy" to vent or get feedback. Overall, I think I'm a bit better off than my peak worst time many years ago where I was too afraid to see anyone or say anything much less post anything on a public board.


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

Not really.

But nowhere else to go.

Usually move on after certain amount of post's.


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## Steve French (Sep 17, 2012)

I'm not sure so much anymore? I feel like in the past (jeesus!) 7 years I've been here my understanding of my own issues has developed. Social anxiety has always been and I feel will always be a major issue with me, but I now wonder if it is but a symptom of myself being an autistic, awkward weirdo with a real lack of emotions and empathy. I feel my autism (I still hate saying this, though I do believe it) and associated inability to understand folks was the real casus belli behind all my anxiety. I can handle most situations without much anxiety any more. I still can't function in them. I just don't know how to react anymore. Somehow I felt better when it was just a chemical imbalance rather than an incurable disorder. ****, I don't know though. I figure we could all use a hand or encouragement, even though that may be few and far between round here or anywhere else.


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## rabidfoxes (Apr 17, 2016)

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> There's a couple of mental health based meets in Leeds and Sheffield. Next closest is the Nottingham and Derby SA group, and then the Birmingham groups.


Yes, Leeds would probably be the closest option (but travel is so much effort!). There's an LGBT mental health meetup nearby, but I have a fear of people being biphobic so never plucked up the courage to go. Whereabouts are you?



Musicfan69 said:


> That's nice of you to say. I'm just feeling a little down lately and haven't posted for a bit. Thanks for being kind


No problem. Meant it!


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## The Notorious D.B.L (Aug 2, 2016)

rabidfoxes said:


> Yes, Leeds would probably be the closest option (but travel is so much effort!). There's an LGBT mental health meetup nearby, but I have a fear of people being biphobic so never plucked up the courage to go. Whereabouts are you?
> 
> No problem. Meant it!


I'm in Birmingham.

Do you have trouble with public transport?


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## rabidfoxes (Apr 17, 2016)

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> I'm in Birmingham.
> 
> Do you have trouble with public transport?


No, trouble with laziness


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## The Notorious D.B.L (Aug 2, 2016)

rabidfoxes said:


> No, trouble with laziness


I'm just a lazy git with undiagnozed avoidant personality disorder and depression. Cracking combo to have! lol

If I'm ever in Yorkshire again I'll drop you a message and see if you want to meet up. You won't want to meet up because no one ever does, but I'll message you anyway. :b


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## unemployment simulator (Oct 18, 2015)

in the sense that I have social anxiety yea I guess .i've had feelings of not belonging on other mental health forums either because I felt most of the more prominent members had interests that seemed totally opposite to mine. or that my other mental health issues (which most other people didn't have or relate to) made me feel more alone.


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## rabidfoxes (Apr 17, 2016)

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> I'm just a lazy git with undiagnozed avoidant personality disorder and depression. Cracking combo to have! lol
> 
> If I'm ever in Yorkshire again I'll drop you a message and see if you want to meet up. You won't want to meet up because no one ever does, but I'll message you anyway. :b


You're dealing with people with social anxiety, I think that's expected. Anyway, you won't know if you don't ask. I'd be up for a pint and a natter if you're ever in my neck of the woods.


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## The Notorious D.B.L (Aug 2, 2016)

rabidfoxes said:


> You're dealing with people with social anxiety, I think that's expected. Anyway, you won't know if you don't ask. I'd be up for a pint and a natter if you're ever in my neck of the woods.


:smile2:


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## Replicante (Oct 31, 2017)

I don't belong or feel welcome anywhere. It's not different here.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I never felt like I belonged on planet earth, TBH. Even as a very young child I felt like I was defective somehow. I belong here about as much as I've ever belonged anywhere else. At least when I am here, I know that at least a few people want to understand.


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## Harveykinkle (Apr 26, 2019)

Sometimes more yes. Sometimes more no.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

I would say I belong here more than on a bipolar forum. Because a lot of people with bipolar experience extreme anxiety but not necessarily social anxiety. I get both - generalised and social. Obviously when I'm manic I haven't always been anxious so those experiences are probably unusual for other people here and probably difficult to relate to.

I would say there are a lot of things here that I can't really relate to though - like not being able to make friends or have relationships, or knowing what to say in conversations. That hasn't really been my experience. The anxiety has definitely limited my life in a few other ways though - like career and work or being able to study to my full potential.


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## Entrensik (Apr 25, 2014)

versikk said:


> i feel jealous, at the same time... i am one of those characters.
> 
> i seriously do not know where to find them myself, tho.


Oh your definitely a character (I hope not a cannibalistic type of character lol). It's amazing how the most unique/creative/intelligent people are also the most pre disposed to mental health issues. It's like someone once told me "it's a gift and a curse".

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## Swanhild (Nov 26, 2012)

Replicante said:


> I don't belong or feel welcome anywhere. It's not different here.


Basically what I was going to say


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

The thing about it though is that if you don't feel like you belong anywhere, you're among friends here. Some of us might admit that we feel some sense of belonging here but most of us had to work for that. I sure didn't feel any sense of belonging here at first. Not that it's necessarily good for anyone to spend the insane amount of time here that I have. But in my particular case, I wouldn't have been doing anything better with that time anyway and I've learned a lot.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I feel fine on this forum but in many ways it’s like any other broad social space, a lot has happened over the years that I heard tidbits about in passing but had no direct involvement in, on occasion I felt like an outsider because of it but then I thought why the hell should I really be concerned about strangers drama on an anxiety forum, lol


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## Citrine79 (Dec 14, 2016)

Harveykinkle said:


> Sometimes more yes. Sometimes more no.


This is pretty much where I am also.


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

what belongs to..

the person named..... "YOU"? that Yourrrrr name?? the one readinngg?? 

born with firstname or lastname = "YOU"

should everyone bear that same label??


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## thomasjune (Apr 7, 2012)

I have SAD so I guess I belong on this SA site. I just don't fit in. w/e
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

I don't really feel I belong anywhere, but as others have said this is probably the closest forum I'll find. Feel I can be awkward to talk to and bore or weird most people out. Feel even more pathetic and weird offline. Know people have talked about SAS gathering in the past. Even though others probably think the same, think I would come off as one of the creepiest most awkward people at a meeting.


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## Yer Blues (Jul 31, 2013)

Nope. Getting ready to move on from this site.


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## Tetragammon (Jun 2, 2015)

No, because nobody 'cares' about me being here. I could disappear and nobody would notice. 

But that's the way social stuff always goes for me; I don't care enough to make myself a real part of anything. People like me shouldn't belong anywhere.


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## SparklingWater (Jan 16, 2013)

No, never have really. Very sporadic usage of the site. 
* *




Been on 6 yrs with an account (3 dif ones I consolidated,) was gone for 3 yrs straight. Along with other absences I've been actively posting here a little more than 2 yrs altogether. Rambly reasons I don't belong here.
-I wanted more a support site for SA (what are you doing to get over this, what did you do today, what did you learn in therapy, research, tips, positive ****, encouragement, etc.) There's some of that here, but not much. This is more a social outlet for pple with SA, which seems to be the support most here are looking for (which is fine and awesome for them.) The site just isn't "recovery" focused, I guess, which is what I was looking for initially.
- It's main use for me has been in making friends behind the scenes. I've made a few here over the years, 2 I still speak to pretty regularly. However, I no longer enjoy cultivating online friendships. Online "friendship" for me is honestly avoidant bc I find it very, very easy to type ****, but difficult to be with someone in person while being present and connected. So friendships online have felt a bit false since I knew in person they wouldn't be a thing since in person is where I struggle. FOR ME the screen is way too easy to hide behind without ever really feeling vulnerable and connected. I've seen pple be friends online for years and not know if someone had a sister or that someone was in the hospital or never address an issue they were having, but they're so "close." Which they might be, just not by my definition.
- I now approach my social issues from a developmental/relational/attachment trauma perspective so the little advice here I did resonate with I don't really anymore.
-I used to write longish, detailed, supportive posts yrs ago, but the talking to a screen knowing your words are of little help or completely ignored, along with reading the same **** over and over for years just gets tedious. You get what you put into anything and I disengaged from here long ago. It's why I don't quote pple or make convo. Cause I know I don't really care anymore and idk if I'm gonna bother reading or answering anything someone replies to and that just doesn't seem fair.

So yea I don't belong here. It's just 1 of 4 sites I got in the habit of browsing years ago and the habit hasn't quite died yet.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Tetragammon said:


> No, because nobody 'cares' about me being here. I could disappear and nobody would notice.
> 
> But that's the way social stuff always goes for me; I don't care enough to make myself a real part of anything. People like me shouldn't belong anywhere.


 Well, I recognize your user name. I don't have a detailed recollection of what you post but I would probably notice if you completely disappeared. User name is kind of unique and memorable.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

SparklingWater said:


> No, never have really. Very sporadic usage of the site.
> * *
> 
> 
> ...


 I always liked your user name. Very unique. :lol

I used to kind of think I got nothing out of this forum but I know that I am way more aware now of what many of my biggest issues are and I understand things that people say and think way more than I used to.

Thoughts that used to just buzz around in my head for a while and then kind of fade and come and go, I have had to put those into words in a way that made sense in responses I made on this forum. It gave me a way of making sense of things that I never really had before.

Though I suppose if you're really good at processing your own thoughts and so forth, this would be useless. Just....to me a thought is different from a sentence. A sentence or a paragraph I can read as if it was written by someone else and ask myself "what would I think if someone else wrote this?"


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## fine_again (Apr 18, 2019)

Sorry, nothing to contribute to the convo. Just came here because the title made me think of this:

_"I don't belong here
We gotta move on, dear
Escape from this afterlife
'Cause this time I'm right
To move on and on,
Far away from here."_

*- Avenged Sevenfold​*​


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

Just like in the real world. I don't belong.


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## SparklingWater (Jan 16, 2013)

WillYouStopDave said:


> I always liked your user name. Very unique.
> 
> I used to kind of think I got nothing out of this forum but I know that I am way more aware now of what many of my biggest issues are and I understand things that people say and think way more than I used to.
> 
> ...


Thanks re my username.

I hear what you're saying. Maybe that's part of my non engagement here as well. I go to therapy, I go to groups. I do a lot of journaling. Though I don't have what I consider close personal relats, I do have plenty of pple and places to talk abt whatever I want to talk abt, so things aren't necessarily piling up in my head (with me ruminating.) Even things I find interesting here or online I usually end up talking abt with someone irl. Thanks for your post. It helped me realize how far I've come (cause the keeping everything inside thing was a huge problem for me for a long time. I know exactly what you're talking abt.)


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## Squirrelevant (Jul 27, 2008)

This is a place for humans with social anxiety disorder. I'm a human with social anxiety disorder. Therefore I belong here.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I think because I'm such an outsider/strange person in general, and then have controversial views on top of that (therefor people who disagree with me 'can't take me seriously' etc lol, so yeah people don't respect you if they disagree with you.) I can't really belong anywhere.

Then there's the way people act... People everywhere. It's difficult to see what redeeming qualities Humans have a lot of the time.

But yes online connections are inherently superficial, people only like you when you agree with them. I mean this isn't true all the time for everyone, but it is with most people.


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## SorryForMyEnglish (Oct 9, 2014)

Funny you all say that cause most of you seem to perfectly belong here. All people in the thread definitely belong here more than I do. I feel alien to you and you feel like you're a large company of mates (I mean the users that I've seen posting here regularly, not just one post). Although one user seems to be more different to me and sort of out of the line with others but I personally see it as a good thing and I like their posts and individuality. Maybe it's purely subjective, i.e. because I like their posts and behavior I distinguish them from others.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

Not so much anymore.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

wherever you go, there you are


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