# Being known as a weird loner at school



## Secretaz (Sep 10, 2011)

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## Sabreena (Feb 17, 2012)

It's almost the same with me. I have literally only one real friend at school but she's super social and spends a lot of time talking to other people, so she's hardly ever around. Since I go to a really small school its hard to find new people. Everyone in my class has known me for 4 years and they dont talk to me unless they want to copy my homework


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## Joe (May 18, 2010)

mcdobrad94 said:


> other day in the classroom i was sitting alone doing my work and she comes up with me trying to talk to me, it just made me feel worse about myself.


I remember a teacher doing this then saying to another teacher "Well when I say talked to him." meaning because my replies were just yes and no. Its not even the sa that made me talk so little, its the fact I didn't care what they were talking about :/ Other teachers do this as well but generally its in a better manner, although some do intentionally be mean I think.

At least next year you'll be in college (If the Finnish schooling system is the same as the Uk's) where no one will know you and you can start again.


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## Secretaz (Sep 10, 2011)

jJoe said:


> At least next year you'll be in college (If the Finnish schooling system is the same as the Uk's) where no one will know you and you can start again.


No I won't be in college next year, I'll be in this high school the next 2 years. :|
I guess the school system in my country is kinda different than there in uk.
But yeah, in college there's a chance to start it all again and make some friends. I can't wait. :b


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## Joe (May 18, 2010)

Good luck for then, then


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## Starlightx (Mar 24, 2012)

Yeah, I'd say I'm in a very similar situation myself. 
I'm not completely friendless, but I am alone a lot of the time at school. No one really bothers me about it (which I am very thankful for), but I know they think I'm weird. Sometimes I hear them saying how a never talk to them and that I'm such a loner and I'll admit, it does hurt sometimes. At times I wish I was different, but hey, that's just the way I am and I don't think it's something I should feel ashamed of. I know I need to try and be more friendly/open and stuff so that I'm not as sad, but yeah..Easier said than done. 

Anyway, I wish you the best with your remaining year in high school and I'm sure things will be better in collage


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## pedestrian (Nov 25, 2011)

Do you live in a city or a small town?


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## Secretaz (Sep 10, 2011)

pedestrian said:


> Do you live in a city or a small town?


In a very small town..


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## Jene (Jan 13, 2012)

I feel your pain! School is a lot like that for me as well, except that I feel like people think I'm such a nobody, and such a freak, and so beneath them, that they completely ignore me. I don't think they care enough about me to talk about me behind my back. It's really weird, having the feeling that people are judging me and ignoring me at the same time. But on a positive note...high school doesn't last forever! We'll all get through.


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## Quinn the Eskimo (Jan 22, 2012)

i went thru the same thing, 

there is a light at the end of the tunnel [:


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## kanra (Nov 27, 2011)

Man, I know how that feels... In my old high school I was instantly outcasted, looked down on, and almost beat up because of my "creepy lonerness." But luckily that didn't happen. It would have eventually though if I stayed, it was only the first semester of freshman year xDD

Surprisingly that hasn't happened here yet. Some people here actually have gone from disliking my wierdness to kind of accepting it and being nicer to me. Now I'm known as "the girl that her friends don't really like that much" which is still better than being seen as a loner, though not by much. More pitiful, almost pathetic, but still better than not having friends...


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## Koloz (Nov 11, 2011)

Yep, same here no friends at all, maybe like 1 or 2 acquaintances, I'm ignored as well, not bullied, because I'm convinced they think of me as the kid who will bring a gun to school. One kid even said to me I 'Look like' I know how to make bombs, that didn't make me feel to good..


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## The Lost Key (Mar 10, 2012)

This may be hard to do but try not worry about it. I know how it feels but ul get through it...things are changing everyday and to be honest your more normal to me then all the other's as at least you can stand alone as a individual. Rock on :yes


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## Watercoulour (Jul 24, 2011)

Middle School. Really hated it, everyone was cliquey and considering the class was only 15 students, we got A LOT of alone time together. I would be quiet and sit in the back and they would talk **** about me, make fun of anything I said, argue with me on what I believed in and would talk about things they ALL did that weekend right infront of me. One girl didn't go on one of their trips and she asked for advice, saying it was unfair. I wasn't sure what to do, I gave her my best advice and left it be. But inside i just wanted to scream at her for complaining about it, when I put up with it EVERY DAY.

Things got better for me in highschool, so many people.


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## Ortelius (Aug 22, 2011)

I am the only one who is totally lonely in my school. People aren't mean to me, but I assume they see me as very weird and awkward. I have no friends, neither can I small talk or take initiative socially.. 

It's hard times.


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## bedroommonster (Apr 2, 2012)

I wouldn't say I have no friends. Its just the ones that I do have are like upper classmen and "popular"... but my happiest times are when I'm alone and can do stuff at my own. Plus I don't hang out with a bunch of people that could be my friends because a) I don't like to talk a lot(partly because of I dont know wat to talk about) and b) a lot of them are a bunch of flipping idiots


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## kirten (Mar 21, 2012)

Me too I don't have friends at all. I don't even know if I want them that much though. I mean it sucks being lonely and it looks funto have people to talk to and joke with at lunch and so on. But actually having conversations is so hard and stressful, its easier to just be alone.


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## NotAfraidAnymore (Nov 24, 2011)

I used to be like this, but I have friends now that can protect me and that I can talk to. 

Look for people you know won't CARE if you're socially awkward around them. Those are the people you want as friends with whatever status you hold at your school. Age doesn't matter. What matters is if they will listen to you. One thing you can do to make it easier for yourself is to pick a single person at school in a certain group that you feel is least likely to judge you. Chances are they will invite you into their group. Another way you could do this is to pick another person at your school that is also a bit of a loner. A lot of the time, people that are loners click with each other because they are the people that need someone to talk to the most.

Also, how do you know that the people in your school feel this about you? Can you list some examples? I know from my experience with SA that a lot of the things you predict other people are thinking about you, they aren't really. Your mind is often working on overdrive to the point where you might misinterpret things about others, and imagine others' thoughts. I would say that 90% of the fear you feel is created by your mind. Keep telling yourself that you can't read their minds, and that your fear is making you perceive it in a different way. Likely the people just see you as an empty canvas. They haven't really gotten to know you, so how can they judge you?

Trust me, you do not seem weird to me at ALL. And all I read was your post!

Good luck!


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## nikki1995 (Feb 14, 2012)

this happened to me all tha time


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## bedroommonster (Apr 2, 2012)

Man I hate being known as the silent kid or a loner. I also hats it when people pity me.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

I know the feeling exactly. I have a few friends now, but no one too close. And I want to do something about it so bad, but I hate the situation so much, so basically, when I'm home, I can't wait to get back to school, but when I'm at school, all I wanna do is get the hell out


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## Gattz Griffith (Apr 26, 2012)

Totally relate, but I've gotten to the point that I really don't care about any of them there. Self-esteem is coming back up, and I'm making progress.

Hope you get to a better position in your life, TC!


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## odnx (May 29, 2011)

I can relate to you so much!

I'm pretty sure people at my school think I'm weird. I don't go there anymore though since I'm taking homeschool classes.

But when I did go, I didn't have any friends, and it was horrible. For some reason people assumed I'm really smart and when we had to work in groups, they would find out I'm not as smart as they think, or at least I didn't talk much (or at all) so they probably thought I was stupid. Or mean and not willing to help them.

And at my old middle and high school, I was made fun of a lot. I didn't have very good style and was awkward (still am awkward). People would call me ugly and weird. It was so hard.

And I remember one time in French class, we had to work in partners of two and read dialogues. My partner asked me which dialogue I wanted, so I just chose the girl's dialogue. After that, I saw him standing off to the side, talking to his friends about how I chose the easy dialogue for myself and pretty much badmouthing me and making me seem selfish. I mean, he asked me to choose so I did. I would've had the other role if I knew he didn't want it- however, I didn't speak up.

But one time, actually someone stood up for me. So the whole class was becoming rowdy and after the teacher yelled, a guy said that the only person that should be allowed to talk is me. That made me feel good about myself. Although it was wierd being put on the spot like that. He didn't say my name though, he pointed to me and said 'her'. But I thought it was nice anyway.


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## Arcane (May 1, 2012)

All I have by my side is a book...


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## Koloz (Nov 11, 2011)

I guess I can relate, some kid honestly thinks I know how to make time bombs...


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## applesauce5482 (Apr 26, 2012)

When I was in high school.. that was me. No one ever bullied me. People were actually quite nice to me (not sure if they talked behind my back), but since I didn't really interact with others, people started to ignore me.

I was known as the "quiet kid" so people would tend to stay away because they didn't expect me to say anything. I think even some of the teachers were afraid to talk to me.


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## laura1991 (Apr 12, 2012)

I can relate to being the "shy loner girl" when I was in high school. I didnt talk to anyone either, unless they talked to me. The only people I held conversation with were people I knew before my anxiety got bad or acquaintances. I used to avoid people and always felt like people were talking about me behind my back..although it was more paranoia than anything. Just hang in there. You will make it thru..be true to yourself and others will respond positively. The ones who don't aren't worth worrying over. One day you will be out in the world without silly cliques and you can feel more free to be who you are with out feeling as judged. hope this helps!


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## thenightcomesdown (May 3, 2012)

Pretty much every lunch I end up in the same place reading a book and getting asked if 'I'm all right' by the teachers. -_-


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## Scarlet Tanager (Jun 17, 2011)

OH MY GOD THANK GOD IM NOT ALONE.

:nw


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## FireIsTheCleanser (Aug 16, 2011)

I'm seen as a weird loner too. I'm probably the only loner in the whole school who doesn't have any friends or acquaintances, not even my brother, he pretends like we're not family and I'm most certain that at one point he has talked about me... negatively.

I just want to curl up into a hole and stay there all day rather than go to school and suffer through all that.


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## rapidfox1 (Sep 13, 2010)

Secretaz said:


> When I'm at school is like a torture for me.
> I don't really have any friends, not even acquaintances so I never talk to anyone at school. I am always alone.
> I'm a totally weirdo in other people's eyes and actually in my own eyes too, I've always been somehow different than the others by some reason. Fortunately they don't bully me, but they talk shıt about me behind my back, laugh at me, make sure that I know they dislike me and so on.
> This sucks.
> ...


I can relate with you.


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## Neo1234 (Mar 6, 2012)

Secretaz said:


> When I'm at school is like a torture for me.
> I don't really have any friends, not even acquaintances so I never talk to anyone at school. I am always alone.
> I'm a totally weirdo in other people's eyes and actually in my own eyes too, I've always been somehow different than the others by some reason. Fortunately they don't bully me, but they talk shıt about me behind my back, laugh at me, make sure that I know they dislike me and so on.
> This sucks.
> ...


You are not a loner anymore


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## Elocthewimpyone (May 12, 2012)

I'm a loner. But i get at least a black eye everyday. Thats y no one talks to me. No one wants to help old one eye emo.


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## Setolac (Jul 26, 2009)

Velorrei said:


> I felt very similarly to you in high school. Except, I was actually bullied, and it was terrible. I sometimes skipped some days and stayed at home crying because of that. I also hid in the bathroom and cried on some days I was there.
> 
> One of my teachers told me I was different from other kids. She said I was isolated from my peers because of my different goals and interests; they wouldn't be able to understand them because we're supposed to travel along very different paths in life. For years, she encouraged me to not change for the approval of others.
> 
> ...


You go girl! This serves as an inspiration for us all. Thank you for sharing this.


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## Luka92 (Dec 13, 2011)

I was usually a loner in high school, but I did talk with several people from my class. I never participated in group activities (unless it was a must). Some people probably thought I was weird, but I really don't care.


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## DustyRaincoat (Jan 3, 2012)

Ugh, similar to everyone else, I can relate. I always have this mindset that people don't want to talk to me because I'm weird or awkward or a loner. Because I am.... And I kind of give off the vibe that "I don't want to talk to you people cause I don't like you >_<" But I don't know if it works. I just don't want people to _see_ that I'm uncomfortable being alone, I like to pretend that I'm okay with it.


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## vainv (May 6, 2012)

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## Venkska (Oct 29, 2011)

Secretaz said:


> When I'm at school is like a torture for me.
> I don't really have any friends, not even acquaintances so I never talk to anyone at school. I am always alone.
> I'm a totally weirdo in other people's eyes and actually in my own eyes too, I've always been somehow different than the others by some reason. Fortunately they don't bully me, but they talk shıt about me behind my back, laugh at me, make sure that I know they dislike me and so on.
> This sucks.
> ...


Yes, this is good that they do this, NOW dont get me wrong its bad but it gives you more of an incite to frankly not give a ****. Just remember your weird all of us on this forum are weird it's what makes us badass in our own eyes you see. When people talk to you behind your back, what are you gonna do? Their wasting their breath as I see it because whats the ****ing point? You're not gonna see them again after school so just say "****em" in your mind you know? I mean in a year or so their going too change their opinions on you trust me these "cool" people are retarded and go back and forth on ****. IF this made any sense. Who needs friends anyways...they come and go


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## ejmafive (May 16, 2012)

yes, i was on the same shoes as well when i was in high school. now i'm in college and still alone :|. though there are no more bullies behind me.


```
people are the most powerful when they are surrounded with people who resemble them.
```


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## DrDomino (May 15, 2012)

I'm a pretty much alone most of the time. But people don't really bug me about it. They kind of ignore me sometimes and sometimes just look at me like they feel bad or something. Once a guy was joking around and said that i'm his best friend (just teasing me). My least favorite class is English cuz i only know like one guy in there. But sometimes ill just say something random to the person sittin next to me, i really don't care if they think i'm weird because i know i'm not.


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## Valentine (May 17, 2012)

My first of high school were living hell, I didn't have any friends and I was too innocent to really understand just how mean people were to me. Have you ever thought about talking to other people in the same situation as you? About halfway through my second year I started to talk to other forever alones. I don't really remember how we became friends, maybe our common situation brought us together. Just remember that a loner + a loner = never a-loner :]


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## red04 (Feb 13, 2012)

People talk. I hear them talk about other people and always have something to say about them even though they are better than me so they must talk about me. It must be something bad. They'd point out I'm a loner and I spend lots of time in the library or that I don't talk or that I'm ugly or that one time where did this and that...and so on!!

What hurts the most is that I could have made loads of friends had I just spoken on the first day of freshman year, when everyone came from different elementary schools and went forth to meet other 9th graders, including me. I was standing there alone and they tried to talk to me but I had 0 social skills so I spoke nonsense. It was halfway through the year I realized that I'm stupid. Now I'm trying to make friends but everyone is already...I guess 'established'. I can make new acquaintances but not new friends. I can't wait till the 'best' four years of my life go by.


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## Otherside (Jun 8, 2012)

Hi, I kinda stumbled across this forum by accident but yeah, I read it and thought "yeah, I know EXACTLY where you're coming from. Most of school I've been a loner and yeah, had some friends whod he talk tosometimes but really...and yeah I've never been properly bullied or anything, but the people at my school still managed to make me feel like total sh%t and at the time, there was enough going on in my life without people acting like they did . I know, its depressing as hell. But its beginning to get a bit better now at least at Sixth form. I dont have many friends or anything, but the ones I have I can trust . Dunno if people still see me as the odd loner girl still, probably do a bit, but it almost seems as if schools better now. its easier to be around people. But yeah, I know what you mean. You're not alone, and schools, particularly high school, isn't great, especially if you don't have many friend.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

I totally understand exactly how you feel. A lot of people have talked bad about me behind my back before even when I have never done anything wrong towards them and I never even know what I've done to them which makes them act that way towards me. I would love to go up to them and ask them if they have any problems with me but ofcourse they are going to deny it and say that nothing's wrong at all. I will never change who I am for anyone. If people don't end up liking me for who I am or for the way how I look, that is obvioulsy their problem. Not mine. If people don't like me, then they can get out of my life. It's like bye now. I don't need people like you. You see what I mean?


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## Sikki (Jun 9, 2012)

Exactly the same situation as far as I am concerned. I've never fitted in, except kindergarten, when we were very little aware of ourselves. No sooner had I started go to primary school than I was being picked on, bullied and laughed at. Back then I had no idea why, but I guess my awkwardness was the main cause. In high school, the bullying has stopped, but I am standing out like someone dressed all black in Hawaii or something. And because I've figured out what my problem is and how awkward I act, my SA has aggravated which finally led to depression. Fortunately, I have one more year of high school and then I can only hope that university will be a new beginning for me and hopefully I'll manage to make at least one friend there. The only thing for which high school is much better than elementary school is not being bullied and being left alone and ignored. I talk to only 2 persons in the entire class, even though I don't have anything in common with them, and that's more than enough. The rest of the class ignores me and think of me as the awkward weird loner or something very similar. I'm always facing awkward situation and there are a few persons who make fun of me, but I surely can survive with this.


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## artsygirl96 (Sep 27, 2011)

Oh yeah, same here. School is torture for me. Nobody talks to me at all. I think I intimidate them or something, it makes me feel bad too.


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