# Hiding or revealing gender online



## altghost (Jul 13, 2012)

Are you more or less inclined to trust people online who list their gender, vs keeping it hidden? Why or why not?



Bonus question.... why does it matter to you, to know, or to not know?


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## Hermiter (Dec 15, 2013)

less inclined.. talk to me lol


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

I feel like I can trust people more who reveal their gender, they are confident in being themselves. They have nothing to hide.


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

I don't care much really. What annoys me a bit is when people lie about their gender. If you are a man, stop changing your gender to female or the other way around. That **** gets old really fast.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I don't really care.

I don't always declare my gender because some sites only have male or female options, and I run into problems using either of those. I prefer to be upfront about my identity, but many sites don't give me the option.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I don't care. I don't care about people changing their gender to something that isn't their gender for the hell of it either. I did it once on here and it was hilarious how big a deal got made out of that fact.

Since then I removed it completely and like this much better actually. I'm team me.


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

I don't think it matters one way or the other. I think I identify people by their avatars more than anything.


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## Cmasch (Jan 24, 2015)

No. I can especially understand if women hide it. They are more likely to get harassed.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

Makes sense for the women to hide their gender because there are far too many desperate thirsty men.

People are more inclined to talk to the opposite gender, for many reasons. Even more inclined to talk to them if they post attractive photos. I think that about sums it up.


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## Mrs Salvatore (Mar 27, 2014)

Well sure, I trust women understand my life and experiences more than men so if I don't know someone's gender I tend to trust their advice as much as I'd trust a man's advice. It doesn't make a huge difference since I wouldn't trust someone from the internet much anyway.

I think it is valuable to put your gender, age, and country up on this site though, just because so many questions that are asked here do have different answers depending on those factors.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

No, I don't mind, but I feel more disconnected/distant towards those people because I can't imagine them


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

Don't care. I'm very careful about what I reveal online myself. But I have no problem revealing my gender. (I'm male, by the way.  )


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## Robleye (Sep 26, 2012)

Ntln said:


> No, I don't mind, but I feel more disconnected/distant towards those people because I can't imagine them


Yeah same here. I kinda like to have at least some idea who I'm talking to.


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## Mrs Salvatore (Mar 27, 2014)

RadnessaurousRex said:


> Lol, fun times. The weird messages I got even though I made it obvious that it was a joke & that I'm a dude, my goodness. Men on SAS see the female tag and they be like...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Or they were in on the joke. I doubt it was serious, the guys here don't do that.


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## hmweasley (Sep 12, 2013)

I don't usually even notice if someone's gender is hidden. It's not something I tend to look at.


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## SapphicDysphoria (Aug 24, 2014)

I would feel weird about hiding my gender online. My automatic assumption is that members with a hidden gender are female, but since I can never be too sure, it makes be a little unsure of how to talk to them, since I sometimes talk to males and females differently.


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## AceEmoKid (Apr 27, 2012)

i give no ****s about gender.


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## kageri (Oct 2, 2014)

Sometimes it's easier to know what to say to people and where they are coming from when you know gender and at least a rough age. Otherwise I don't really pay attention.


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## Conviction07 (Aug 23, 2013)

It doesn't really matter to me but I don't get why people even do it.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

altghost said:


> Are you more or less inclined to trust people online who list their gender, vs keeping it hidden? Why or why not?
> 
> Bonus question.... why does it matter to you, to know, or to not know?


 I don't really care. I'm more inclined to like someone who is female and has posted her pics but I'm a guy who likes women. It kind of makes sense that way. Obviously.

If someone hasn't listed their gender, it's sometimes hard to know how to relate to them but I'll still talk with them.

I don't trust anyone online so there's that.


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## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

It takes me a while to notice. It's pretty common for people to hide gender. It just makes me think they're gender neutral or don't want others to make assumptions about them due to their gender. People who are overly effeminate or masculine bother me more. Also people who pretend they're the opposite gender for kicks.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

I don't care as long as the person isn't lying to me about his/her age to deceive _me_.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

No, though I find it odd when guys put female when not trans or any particular reason.


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## EndlessBlu (Mar 7, 2012)

wrongnumber said:


> It just makes me think they're gender neutral or don't want others to make assumptions about them due to their gender.


Both of those things for me.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

It depends. Sometimes people can pretend they're the opposite gender and lead you on.... *been there, done that*


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

Aside from the occasional contemplation as to what gender these people might be, it doesn't really concern me too much. It would be if hiding it was somehow being used for devious harmful intent, which is pretty rare anyway.

What's annoying are when users of this site change their gender as their facetious (yet unfunny) attempt to confuse others. These tend to be either users who let the gender debates on this forum get to their head too much, or just regular misfits that don't really have anything better to do than to waste time.


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

Buckyx said:


> ...but social stuff like here it matters a lot


I may have an inkling, but I'm curious as to why you think it matters a lot?


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

Buckyx said:


> I like to know who I connect with.


Yep. Same here.


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

For me it's not even an issue of trust. I tend to be more intrigued by and drawn to people who hide their gender, or show any signs of bending or conflict with regards to their gender identity/expression in general. IDK. I've felt like a #genderfail for a good part of my life, and it's nice to see people who don't take this stuff for granted or make any assumptions, I guess.


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## VisualAttraction (Jun 12, 2012)

If I'm talking to someone online I take a look at what their gender is, but if it's not listed then it's not big deal.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

BlazingLazer said:


> What's annoying are when users of this site change their gender as their facetious (yet unfunny) attempt to confuse others. These tend to be either users who let the gender debates on this forum get to their head too much, or just regular misfits that don't really have anything better to do than to waste time.


Yeah, it's really obnoxious.


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

Doesn't really matter in regard to trust. If I was a girl I probably wouldn't reveal my gender because of all the unwanted attention they get online. As a guy, doesn't make much of a difference.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

BlazingLazer said:


> What's annoying are when users of this site change their gender as their facetious (yet unfunny) attempt to confuse others. These tend to be either users who let the gender debates on this forum get to their head too much, or just regular misfits that don't really have anything better to do than to waste time.


How exactly is it wasting time unless you're deliberately misleading someone in a romantic situation? Like if it's someone you barely speak to except for a few posts here and there on a forum, why would you care? I don't understand this.


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## Apoc Revolution (Dec 2, 2013)

_I have nothing to hide. The reason I don't display my gender is because I don't identify with any of the options. And for that reason, I hate it when you're given only a few options and are forced to select one of them, even if you don't actually feel that way. Thankfully, this forum lets you choose if you want to share certain details or not, hence why I picked 'No Answer'.

I too, have noticed some people switching between 'male' and 'female'. I guess they do it to receive more attention, or as some sort of joke. Anyway, it doesn't bother me at all, and people should be free to edit information as they please.
_


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

I have always been open about my gender online. I have been misled before though this person I was friends with pretended to be a girl who was actually a guy. This was when I was much younger and it wasn't even a big deal we remained friends after I found out. it was more like lol than actual anger.


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

Persephone The Dread said:


> How exactly is it wasting time unless you're deliberately misleading someone in a romantic situation? Like if it's someone you barely speak to except for a few posts here and there on a forum, why would you care? I don't understand this.


From what I've noticed, a good deal of the people that do this (I guess in this sense the "time-wasters" - maybe not take that TOO literally), either tend to have a lot of useless posts or they just "troll" (oh how I hate that I had to use that word) quite often. It's not that I "care"; just that it seems like a cheap way for a laugh and/or an unamusing way to mess with people (messing with people on this forum hardly seems like one of the more noble types of behavior on here).

I'm aware that you have done this in the past, so despite how harsh I may come off as, hopefully this shouldn't bother you too much either.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

BlazingLazer said:


> From what I've noticed, a good deal of the people that do this (I guess in this sense the "time-wasters" - maybe not take that TOO literally), either tend to have a lot of useless posts or they just "troll" (oh how I hate that I had to use that word) quite often. It's not that I "care"; just that it seems like a cheap way for a laugh and/or an unamusing way to mess with people (messing with people on this forum hardly seems like one of the more noble types of behavior on here).
> 
> I'm aware that you have done this in the past, so despite how harsh I may come off as, hopefully this shouldn't bother you too much either.


Yeah, I didn't do it to mess with people to be fair, it was just an (apparently) inevitable result. I did it for the same reason I imagine men sometimes dress in women's clothing (I'd say vice versa though it's not quite the same as it's pretty normalised for women to do that now,) or people play opposite gender characters in video games - because they want to.

I'm not sure why other people might have done this, but I guess I just don't care in this context, but each to their own.


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Yeah, I didn't do it to mess with people to be fair, it was just an (apparently) inevitable result. I did it for the same reason I imagine men sometimes dress in women's clothing (I'd say vice versa though it's not quite the same as it's pretty normalised for women to do that now,) or people play opposite gender characters in video games - because they want to.
> 
> I'm not sure why other people might have done this, but I guess I just don't care in this context, but each to their own.


Who knows really why it's done, but I was speculating and gave my thoughts on the matter. Not really anything to lose sleep over.

It sounds like that was an interest that was on your mind and you were curious about certain things about it. I suppose no harm done, though.


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## persona non grata (Jul 13, 2011)

I'm not sure I understand the question entirely. 

If we're talking about a poster on this forum that I don't regularly interact with on a one-on-one basis, I won't 'trust' them in a meaningful way, regardless of whether I know their gender. I might know I like somebody's posts or think they're smart or whatever, but there's nothing I'm going to talk about with them in a thread that requires trust.

Now, suppose it's somebody I talk to individually. I feel like gender is basic thing to know about somebody if you're trying to picture what their life is like. Gender isn't specifically a trust thing, any more than if someone refused to say which country they're from. It's just if I don't know it, I apparently don't know them very well.

I would have assumed everyone felt this way, but maybe not.


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## dontwaitupforme (Feb 23, 2013)

It would be interesting to see the responses I get, when I actually make a serious post in an overly male dominated forum (no negativity aimed there.) *thinks cunningly* but really, idgaf. We need perspectives from both sides whether people like that or not.


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## AllieG (Feb 20, 2014)

I don't necessarily distrust people who hide their gender, but I just don't see why people would hide their gender online. :stu


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I've never been one to really hide my gender. I thought I might do it for a while but then I realized people might think I'm female and I might start getting ingratiating PMs from random dudes.

I do envy women to some degree but I do not envy the fact that they can't really turn that off.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

It's important to know what gender a person is if I am going to give advise. Basically if someone is a guy he should be doing hookers. I would never give that advise to a chick.


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## Globe_Trekker (Jan 29, 2009)

Couldn't care less..we're all humans..it's what you say that matters not who you are.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

Gender is irrelevant.


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## ShatteredGlass (Oct 12, 2012)

i don't really care.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

It's none of their business.


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## i just want luv (Feb 13, 2011)

It doesno't affect such things for me, nor does it matter. It is not like I am here for significant relationships, so it holds no bar.


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## CoffeeGuy (Sep 23, 2013)

Yeah, maybe alittle bit. The thing is, especially on a forum like SAS, it's generally helpful for people to display their gender so you can see what perspective they're posting from and possibly offer better advise.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

I remember when I was playing an MMORPG, and there was this one G.I.R.L, in particular, who fooled everyone into thinking that he was a girl. He even got himself an "online boyfriend" and created all kinds of drama. Some people were pretty mad when they discovered that he had been lying all along.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

It doesn't affect my trust of the person. The only thing that can build trust is a history of reasonable, non-inflammatory posts, regardless of what gender is stated.


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

It doesn't matter whether it's a guyirl or a giruy


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Kind of - I would like to know the gender.

I am ALL millenniumMANly, ON AND OFF the Internetz!


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

Internet people mean very little to me, their genders and orientations included.


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## kivi (Dec 5, 2014)

It is not important for me.


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## SD92 (Nov 9, 2013)

Not really, sometimes I'm curious if I don't know if they are male or female.

I always reveal my gender forums if it's possible.


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