# good bye



## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

Deleted For Privacy Reasons.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

You're ok man. No one is perfect.


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## PrincessV (Aug 17, 2015)

DON'T LEAVE  Noo 

Not everyone on this site has to necessarily do something to belong here. This is a place for anyone who feels like they don't belong/and well for anyone who has social anxiety, however if you feel that it'll benefit you if you venture off into the real world... I guess I understand.

But you're wanted here, at least by me! I hope whatever you decide, that it's for the benefit of your life.

Good bye friend, or I'm glad you've chosen to stay friend. .-.


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## Digital Dictator (Nov 24, 2011)

You're just facing a very emotional moment right now. Don't be too hard on yourself.


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## joked35 (Oct 13, 2013)

I'm jealous that he has found a way out. Stop encouraging him to stay. The best thing for all of us to do is leave this place. Do not listen to people who are telling you to take it easy and hang around. Leaving SAS is a step in the right direction. One day I'm gonna jump ship too, but I'm not ready yet. One day though


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## Shawn81 (Jul 9, 2014)

I'm so bad at talking to people that on this site alone, in the couple months I've been hanging around, I still don't have anyone who talks to me regularly; I've offended people deeply without trying, I've struggled to get someone to even reply, and I've even been blocked by someone after 10 minutes of conversation without even knowing what I said - I had to explain the conversation to someone else to try and figure out what I did wrong, and I still don't get it.

It's not just you. I'm next level sh** socially. Just talking to someone online at all seems to actually hurt them. It's pretty bad. I'm like that chicken from Xmen except I kill with social awkwardness rather than touching.

Hang out and see what happens. I'm getting worse at it by the day, but I can assure you that after running away from things like this my whole life, it didn't get better. It got worse. I've already freaked and left this site for a while. Didn't help. Actually made it a little worse I think. Probably should have stayed gone. Anyway. It was all bad.


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

OP, lots of people on here are broken. You aren't so different. Stay!


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## Chasingclouds (Jan 7, 2015)

A lot of the people here have good points, I'll try to outline it all and give you the best answer that I think you can use. The reason I'm on here is to surround myself with people like me and look for a continuous mode of support that can either help me combat my SA or cope with my SA. Since combating it hasn't really helped me, I'm learning on how to cope with it at least. Thus, I find myself staying with the site because I've found a good mode of support and have made some friends on here that I regularly talk to. Now I know that making friends anywhere for people like us with SA is really hard, but I guess this has only happened by chance for me and for that I'm at least grateful. Now if I had found a mode of support outside of this site while I still signed up for the site, then I would probably leave, but I haven't found that mode of support to combat it so I have learned to try and cope with it and have decided to stick around here. It's a matter of whatever you feels like helps you the most, even the littlest bit. Some may say that this place is bad, some may say that it is good and helps people with SA, ultimately it is up to you.

What I will also tell you is that you aren't useless, you aren't a burden on others. You're a human just like the rest of us that happens to have SA.


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

This site ranges from people with severe social phobia and other mental illnesses to extroverts with very little social anxiety. You don't need to kick yourself because you have trouble socializing with people here. For others here it comes natural dealing with people and they can make friends at ease, that's just life. It doesn't mean you're a defective person or anything. 

You can just look at SAS like a venting site, or a place to have some light social interaction. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

I'm a waste of space too.


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## Xenacat (Oct 20, 2015)

Shawn81 said:


> I'm so bad at talking to people that on this site alone, in the couple months I've been hanging around, I still don't have anyone who talks to me regularly; I've offended people deeply without trying, I've struggled to get someone to even reply, and I've even been blocked by someone after 10 minutes of conversation without even knowing what I said - I had to explain the conversation to someone else to try and figure out what I did wrong, and I still don't get it.
> 
> It's not just you. I'm next level sh** socially. Just talking to someone online at all seems to actually hurt them. It's pretty bad. I'm like that chicken from Xmen except I kill with social awkwardness rather than touching.
> 
> Hang out and see what happens. I'm getting worse at it by the day, but I can assure you that after running away from things like this my whole life, it didn't get better. It got worse. I've already freaked and left this site for a while. Didn't help. Actually made it a little worse I think. Probably should have stayed gone. Anyway. It was all bad.


I can't believe you are that bad. You seem cool to me. That pic is a little scary. A lot of people have scary pics on here.


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## JohnDoe26 (Jun 6, 2012)

LiveWaLearningDisability said:


> I never wanted to hurt anyone, or cause people to get upset about anything. I'm convinced that there is something wrong with me, but I don't think it's really social anxiety. For some reason I just don't know how to relate to people. I feel that Must admit that it's just as hard for me to be what they need, both online and offline. I've been at that this research for far too long, and I still don't know. I still don't understand myself. I want to say good bye to this site and most of all other online forums that I have ever been apart of. If only I could say "goodbye to myself" as well. Even though I want to strive to not be selfish, I somehow I end up alone and focusing on myself. I'm so messed up, that I think It's time to quit. I don't like to be called a quitter, but what good does it do to climb a mountain that you can never reach the top? :stu I don't get it. I think what troubles me the most is how I've been no good use to any of you, nor have I been any good at helping myself. What's the point? That's why I feel that I should just say good bye to everyone, and never come back.


Please don't leave. I can relate to a lot of what you've said. If you ever feel like you want to chat, feel free to hit me up in PM. I can't relate to anyone either. But perhaps we can provide each other at least with some insight as to why that way be.


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

There are millions of people on this site for various reasons, and you don't have to have social anxiety disorder to be here or let anyone tell you your problems are not social anxiety and you don't have to be a use to anyone. Just by you existing, you add one more person to the collective whole of experiences logged in here for maybe future generations to see. For someone researching social anxiety in the future, this is a goldmine. Stay here, stay put and post your experiences, good and bad, so maybe somewhere out there when a person like you in the future feels like this, they can read your posts and be like, man someone like me went through that or wow that helped them, I'm gonna try that!

Also you are aware of yourself and how you affect yourself, so that is good. You've already passed one hurdle in overcoming social anxiety -- self-awareness.


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## Shawn81 (Jul 9, 2014)

Xenacat said:


> I can't believe you are that bad. You seem cool to me. That pic is a little scary. A lot of people have scary pics on here.


It's that bad. I'm not sure how, but it's really bad. My social skills are beyond simply awkward - I can actually really upset people without trying to or without even realizing it, which is not my intent, but frequently the result.

The picture kind of reflects me. Pretty scary. Maybe that ties in to the above or something. I don't try to be scary online or in person, but I have permanent murderface and always come across as mad/upset, but it's just the depression.

Plus it looks pretty much exactly like me, except I just trimmed the beard a bit shorter.


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## Xenacat (Oct 20, 2015)

Shawn81 said:


> It's that bad. I'm not sure how, but it's really bad. My social skills are beyond simply awkward - I can actually really upset people without trying to or without even realizing it, which is not my intent, but frequently the result.
> 
> The picture kind of reflects me. Pretty scary. Maybe that ties in to the above or something. I don't try to be scary online or in person, but I have permanent murderface and always come across as mad/upset, but it's just the depression.
> 
> Plus it looks pretty much exactly like me, except I just trimmed the beard a bit shorter.


Well if you want to chat I'm game. I have SA but talking online doesn't bother me. My SA culminates at work where I don't feel I fit in, in some situations I'm totally fine.


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## Todd124 (Aug 31, 2015)

We are all on this site for different reasons, I think something to remember is that you can never please other people all the time and you shouldn't try too. Humans are rather fickle and very different, if you spend your entire life trying to be everyone's friend then your gonna burn yourself out for nothing. 
Try and remain open minded to positive interactions but look after yourself, you're gonna be stuck with yourself for the rest of life after all so isn't it better to try and befriend yourself? 

Good luck to you OP in doing what you choose, do what you think is the right thing.


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## Shawn81 (Jul 9, 2014)

Xenacat said:


> Well if you want to chat I'm game. I have SA but talking online doesn't bother me. My SA culminates at work where I don't feel I fit in, in some situations I'm totally fine.


I'm even horribly anxious online, and a little gunshy around here after the way things have been going with trying to talk to people, but I'm trying to keep at it (mostly because I literally have nothing else to do), so I'd be willing to talk any time. It's been a while since I "put myself out there" to try and make some friends, even online, so I'm kinda bad at it.


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## Jason Keener (Nov 29, 2013)

Every human being suffers with lonliness, sadness, depression, disappointment, regret, misunderstandings, etc. Some of us suffer more than others. Please stick around. *Everyone* has something to contribute, including *you*!


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

LiveWaLearningDisability said:


> I never wanted to hurt anyone, or cause people to get upset about anything. I'm convinced that there is something wrong with me, but I don't think it's really social anxiety. For some reason I just don't know how to relate to people. I feel that Must admit that it's just as hard for me to be what they need, both online and offline. I've been at that this research for far too long, and I still don't know. I still don't understand myself. I want to say good bye to this site and most of all other online forums that I have ever been apart of. If only I could say "goodbye to myself" as well. Even though I want to strive to not be selfish, I somehow I end up alone and focusing on myself. I'm so messed up, that I think It's time to quit. I don't like to be called a quitter, but what good does it do to climb a mountain that you can never reach the top? :stu I don't get it. I think what troubles me the most is how I've been no good use to any of you, nor have I been any good at helping myself. What's the point? That's why I feel that I should just say good bye to everyone, and never come back.


I've always enjoyed your posts...and appreciate your kind words in the compliments thread. I hope you change your mind. I wish you all the best in the future, buddy.


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

bad bye


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

twitchy666 said:


> bad bye


Well, yeah, I am glad that (1) he is back and (2) you are posting, Twitchy666.

The airplane people failed you, @LiveWaLearningDisability - that's on them, not you!


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## Orgone (Aug 19, 2013)

Hey mayne, I'm at a retail store right now, as desperate and lonely and anxious as ever; the only two things I care about are my youth and my gym membership. And my car, guitars, computer is pretty much my gf. Parents are cool, too. My schedule is all screwed up all the time because the managers are all frazzled during the holidays; I'm new and part-time and feel like a worhless skumbag hehe. I'm here for you, sir! I'm usually too scared to communicate with people in general, but I'm also sad&lonely. 

We're gonna make it! Do whatever you gotta do sir!


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

LiveWaLearningDisability said:


> I wish I could of make the company pay the extra costs. All the way through the building process people (online) told me things that didn't agree with the manual specs. And then there were people who agreed with some of those specs. For example the manufacture said don't be afraid to fly this model with the smallest engine. It has plenty of power. Some people felt that was true, but there was also those who said, your not going to be able to fly it with that size. They recommended I fly it with the largest engine. But it was too late, I already had all the holes drilled in the firewall. I couldn't get back inside to change the blind nuts. Because all of that was glued together. So I compromised. I bought a bigger engine for plane, one that said it would fit the same size mount. Even the engine manufacture told me the wrong size propeller for the engine. When you contact product support, they will tell you that it's too big. But why? And then there were people who actually defend the manufacture of this kit, as well and the engine manufacture. They came up with lame excuses like that kit is old. What does age have anything to do with it? If it can't fly now, how could it fly back then? Did the physics of nature change? Anyways John, this is just one example how a group of people, including the "experts" can let you down. People have let me down before, but when I compare I feel that more people have let me down over the internet.
> 
> I still feel the pain of when that one person commented me and said "Sounds like you listened to your dad instead of the experts" *Shakes Head*


People over the Internet don't know you nearly as much as real life, though.
I think they call themselves "cyberwarriors" who have no clue or care about what they say. You shouldn't leave this site over that.
People are bitter.

It has gotten worse through the Obomination - the snarkiness, the selfishness. It has gotten to the point where I have had to start standing up for myself because I am so irate at the passivity I see. It's disgusting.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

LiveWaLearningDisability said:


> I think I get it. People think I'm just backing away from Social Anxiety Support. When I wasn't here for the past few months, I wasn't anywhere, doing anything in forums. John, I'm just down on SAS I feel down about the whole system. I continue to use youtube only because I feel like I need it for the information I need. But with that information comes in other temptations and issues. Without the needed information, I'd delete my account and block it as well. I'd throw every forum into the fire if it was possible. Call that passive? :lol
> 
> I don't think people know me well enough to understand just how deeply hurt I am by the social scene on the internet. Even now when I watch a vlog on youtube I scratch my head and say to myself "why" really? is it worth the pay your getting to just shoot your mouth off with opinions. Nobody believes in absolute rights and wrongs anymore. It's just all about what each individual thinks is right and if it somehow matches up with some "rules" so that they don't get kicked off a site.
> 
> ...


I only opened a Fakebook account to find my brother who moved away three years ago. I found out he didn't have a page, and so I logged out and haven't logged in since. I don't even know how to use Quitter, and Instasham is totally foreign to me, too. I am a techie, as you know, but I have to know where my boundaries are - we need people, G. The Internet ISOLATES. A lot of people don't even know this because they are enmeshed in their online world. The virtual world is a fantasy and will never satisfy the need to truly connect people in real life.

My pastor had a sermon on this just this morning - the series is about American Idols, and we're not talking the TV show. Self is the worst idol there is! He was supposed to have gotten a call form someone in the middle of the service to demonstrate a point, and it failed :lol. God works in mysterious ways.

I am a firm believer in my new campaign......
I have a flip phone, NO free texting, NO Internet, and only 350 daytime minutes.

Being buried in technology, people are missing out and even get bad viewpoints on the world. That's probably how the Obomination get into power.


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## Diáfanos (Feb 3, 2011)

We are all One having a human experience.

Loneliness gets to us but how do we get rid of this longing? The perpetual void or cycle akin to delving deep and succumbing into the depths of the abyss. Call me a spiritual quack but the answer lies within the divine nature of Essence itself. The Essence or Divine unity of Life. Oneness in this brokenness of life. In the disconnection between people whether it be virtual or real life. Technology only exacerbates the problem of this recent dilemma of instant gratifications. No matter how defective or worthless I have felt in the previous years, I have grown to accept those parts of me. Just like what the other posters have said, we are all broken in one way or another.


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## Diáfanos (Feb 3, 2011)

LiveWaLearningDisability said:


> @millenniumman75
> @Diáfanos
> 
> I just got done reading your comments. I think the three of us is basically on the same page. I'm going to call it "close enough" anyways. I don't have anyway of having relationships in real life. But I think having no relationship offline is better then trying to maintain relationships online. I don't know what I'm going to do in the future, but currently I want to take some more time away from this site. My job has been harder than ever, and I come home extra tired and extra emotional. Most of my emotional state is due to over tiredness. I can not keep my mind stable when I get this tired. That's why I need to spend my time away from this. When I'm in a weak state of mind, a comment can go from one extreme to the next. I have learned that if the comment is positive it will make me feel better. But if there is any negativity or if the comment comes across naive (usually they feel naive) then it will either make me extremely sad, angry or frustrated. I can't tell you how many times I've had to walk away, or even print the comment to reread later, just so that I could take it in at a better time. That alone is inconvenient, and I feel overwhelmed by life as it is. It really makes me extra thankful for the weekend.


Yeah I think that's a good idea that you're taking a break from this site. As this site does bring unnecessary burden and negativity as you'd put it. I think it's a problem of fundamentally having permeable or lack of boundaries.

I can relate to the way you perceive yourself, of having a sense of painful self-consciousness attached to your identity and the reactive emotions you'd feel afterwards. Hence why we are both suffering/ have suffered on this Social Anxiety forum. I have stopped labeling myself as someone with a "disorder" though as I have found that there has never been anything wrong with me at all, and for someone to label themselves as such just creates a disparity between their self-perception and other people's perception of what Social anxiety is or is like.

I wish you a peaceful and relaxing time away from this website!


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

LiveWaLearningDisability said:


> The thing that has gotten to me is how I can be gone for days, weeks, and even a month or longer, and yet nobody even notices. That shows me that I'm not important enough in other people's eyes. A while back when I started this thread, I mentioned that I never wanted to hurt anyone. Today when I woke up, I thought about that... I feel a good explanation coming over me. To those who felt that my comments were bad, please allow me say this in my defence. Think of it this way, it's like a non removable stain on a table, or piece of clothing. The stain represents the problem your trying to solve. You start with a light cleaner, and gradually switch to stronger and strong stuff. All in the hopes of removing that stain. By the time you get done, you have a hole where the stain used to be. Then someone comes over, and notices the hole you made, and says to you "look your doing it all wrong" But the person never saw how stubborn the stain was! You can say and do all the right things and still end up looking bad, because the results were bad. The reason why life can be this way, is because people are complicated beings. They are like a combination lock. You got to dial in the right numbers and just the right time or things can go bad for you. I think this happens a lot on the internet because people really don't want to get to know you. They don't want to take the time it takes to find out what is inside of the person. They just want to judge what words you post, without understanding the reason behind them. So they make up reasons in their heads based on what things look like. In some ways I can't blame them, but that doesn't change the fact that people do get hurt. I'm tired of feeling that pain. I see no reason to keep spinning my wheels, wasting my time, trying to solve a problem that can't be solved. I can't change people, and make them like me.
> 
> Added Text:
> It is like this, you come online with a set standard, but nobody meets that standard so you lower it. And then you lower it more, but no matter how low you go, it's never low enough. Finally you cross the line, and everyone notices, and says "what's wrong with you!" It's like your standard is too low, and no matter how high you try to raise it, it's never high enough. It's like insanity. No matter what you do, you always get the same results. All bad! It's not like I haven't tried... 13 years is trying! 13 years is too long to be getting the same sad experiences. Why wouldn't you crack after all that time. People point the finger and say, "It's because your doing it all wrong" Really? Why not just say, "Hey man your stupid?" I mean if you can't figure it out in 13 years, then what other conclusion is there? Hopefully your understanding my point.


Dude....this is depression .


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

LiveWaLearningDisability said:


> I think I found another site I can take my activity too. I seriously think that most people on this site hate me. They just don't know they hate me.





LiveWaLearningDisability said:


> I'm just about ready to say good bye forever. There is a good chance that I'll be banned soon anyways. The thing is I'm not too sad about it. There are some people that don't like me, and I really really really don't like them. I still struggle with the painful words or actions that they did to me years ago. I have had trouble letting it go and moving on.


I've never seen you saying something out of place, although I may have ommited it.

I don't think you should get along with everyone nor everyone get along with you. And you have the freedom to not forgive something, as long it doesnt mean you are going to track them down and murder them. An argument with someone now and then is healthy, haha.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

LiveWaLearningDisability said:


> I got my first warning today for a personal attack. It isn't like me to step out of line. But I've been holding stuff inside. Hurts and stuff that other members have caused me. Out of 300 and some people (that was on my friends list) there is only 1 that I call friend with confidence. And that is because He's really been a stable person.


Haha, man, I get warnings every time for a lot of different reasons, but I don't care because having a warning does not mean that I am wrong, it just mean that other people are following rules to mantain some kind of order here, even if it is at the expense of "deleting raw truths". Lets call it collateral damage.


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## daisywillowlilyrose (Apr 17, 2016)

sajs said:


> Haha, man, I get warnings every time for a lot of different reasons, but I don't care because having a warning does not mean that I am wrong, it just mean that other people are following rules to mantain some kind of order here, even if it is at the expense of "deleting raw truths". Lets call it collateral damage.


I soooo have to agree to this. Most to all the time, I make sure to follow the rules to avoid any hassle or confrontation. And it made me realize I am slowly losing my own personality. And I am forgetting to stand up for what I believe.

Thank you, sajs, for making me realize this.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

daisywillowlilyrose said:


> I soooo have to agree to this. Most to all the time, I make sure to follow the rules to avoid any hassle or confrontation. And it made me realize I am slowly losing my own personality. And I am forgetting to stand up for what I believe.
> 
> Thank you, sajs, for making me realize this.


You are welcome !.

Although you always can learn the "art of argumentation", sometimes you can produce the same reaction without going into insults (although sometimes necessary, I admit) or stuff like that, and it is funnier too !

Don't lose your personality, enhance it.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

LiveWaLearningDisability said:


> I've also been rolling with the punches. Mainly because I don't want to upset anyone. What is happening is I've been holding it all in for years and years. Now I'm boiling over and I can't help myself.


Actually.......this is a sign of growth, believe it or not.

There is a period when you start to overcome anxiety when anger and frustration seem to take over. This emotion needs to be turned into assertiveness/confidence.

You are getting new bearings with these emotions - they will come out, but the key is to check them and use them the right way. Positive confidence and the refusal to back down when it is necessary.


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## daisywillowlilyrose (Apr 17, 2016)

LiveWaLearningDisability said:


> I've also been rolling with the punches. Mainly because I don't want to upset anyone. What is happening is I've been holding it all in for years and years. Now I'm boiling over and I can't help myself.


Yes, it's exactly what I did too, or still doing. I am always so afraid to get on the wrong side of a person thinking I'd look ***** when I can't properly defend myself/case.


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## marsia (Mar 22, 2016)

LiveWaLearningDisability said:


> I've been too scared to come back and read the responses. Now I feel better because they weren't as bad as I imagined. By frustration goes beyond SAS. You know? Everyone has their own opinion. I don't know if any of you agree with me or not, but I found that when you get too many opinions going on at once, things become confusing. Most of time, the things people say I can force myself to take or leave even though many times those words hurt. I'm not saying that any of you just hurt me. I feel cool with everything you guys wrote. But here is the point I'm trying to make. If all your doing is sitting around and discussing, but you don't haft to go out in real life and try it, things are ok. But if you find yourself in a situation where you got use the advice... Then things can become messy. Most of the time, I wasn't even able to use the advice people tried to give me. This last summer I felt I had a Revelation. I'm a Radio Controlled Model Airplane Pilot. I've flown and help build since 1995. Four years ago I decided to build my first warbird. As I got into the directions, I noticed that some information that I didn't know wasn't included. Since I didn't have that experience I turned to the Manufacture and the Model Airplane forums for help. The product support gave me information that didn't match up with the directions. And the forum folks gave me information/advice that went all over the place. You probably guessed it, the airplane crashed. It only made it head high off the ground and wouldn't climb anymore before I had to just ditch it in the tall grass. Now I got a lot of repair work, and I had to buy a bigger engine for it. I think you can see what I'm trying to say.... Facts do more good, then mere opinions. I don't feel like writing out all the ins and outs and whys. I don't think they are needed. But if anyone is interested I could write a blog about it.


I just joined this forum and some of my posts get completely ignored, and some didn't. I had to write really enticing titles, and I had to really practice good conversation practices to keep conversations going. The Pms fizzled out because I don't have that kind of energy to keep them going a long time. But the practice was good. My point being that I also have trouble connecting, but it's ok, because all this is practice trying to be supportive and trying to see what people are interested in, just like in real life.

Also I think it's hard to ask people who have the same problem and haven't solved it for help. I am also listening to a lot of youtube talks on how to be more vulnerable and open, how to get around triggering social anxiety if I have an event I have to meet people at, how to be kinder to myself and how to really be myself unapologetically. There are a bunch of interconnected skills connected with being competent socially that many of us don't have nailed down, so anxiety can make it all the harder, so I figure, I better really learn the skills. The really good talks I have just started taking notes on, because they great, but the details get lost in my brain somewhere. I am starting to see results, plus researching what works helps for talking in the forums for me. So I agree, it's hard to get and give advice for a problem we haven't solved yet, but there are a lot of free resources out there, plus having a community where people understand if you aren't good at talking is so great IMO.

I hope you stay and practice and let people know that you are practicing and that it is hard for you, so maybe ask for more support.


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## marsia (Mar 22, 2016)

PS I also think about what I am going to reply a long time so what I have to say is more pertinent. All of this is good practice at conversation for me, and it contributes to the conversation, so even if what I have to say doesn't help directly or misses the mark, at least people see that there is someone listening and trying to be supportive.


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