# Anyone finding it impossible to make friensd in college?



## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

Im going to a community college and its a commuter school. so making friends is getting really hard! most kids leave right after class for work, home, etc. theres no clubs or sports here either :/ plus im 20 and lots of the kids there are 17-18 and a bit immature and not my crowd. it seems like high school. its like all the druggies and trouble makers went to the school im going to. im only going here because of my money situation. i would have loved to go straight to university, but oh well. 

i cannot meet new people because no one talks to me, in class, its just sitting and listening, and a lot of people know eachother from high school. its really tough. it seems the only way to get some interaction is through group projects or whatever


but alas, i think im just gonna focus on getting good grades as usual. because its too hard to make friends here. i give up already (this is my first year) i dont really like a lot of these kids as they are rude and immature, not all but a lot :/ 

all i hear is "dude wtf this class is gay man i hate this teacher f**** f**** " 

and i wanna say "shut up..how old are you? why are you even here if you dont wanna even try to do well in school" its a bit irritating. im not a prude but they need to grow up. they probably are just going so theyre parents wont kick them out. thats how they act at least.

but then i go to work after school and i feel relieved. theres a lot of older people, and nice customers that i get along with well and i get more interaction. theres a big variety of different ages. and i feel much better in that environment. it seems so much easier to make friends at work with customers and things like that.

anyone feel the same way?


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## GrimedMechanic86 (Jan 20, 2010)

yup, I feel the same way. But I don't see the point to college. But I can't drop out because what else am I going to do? Drink? haha, i wish it were so but I'm just going to school and just trying to figure out what to do.

And by the way, most community colleges are commuter schools. In my opinion.


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## rctriplefresh5 (Aug 24, 2009)

i too go to a community college. i make ''friends'' easily though. but its only IN SCHOOL friends. the first day of class in my math class, i made friends with so many people that i had over the required amount of people wanting to be in my group for projects. however i now have a study group with all these people adfter class ends in the math lab.

but ive never hung out with anyone outside of school.
its like once the semester ends all of these people write me off, and usually dont even say goodbye or can i have your number? ive only had two people ask for my facebook and they barely talk to me unless i initiate it.


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

Get to know people. Among 17-18 year olds at your school, I'm sure there will be a lot of immature idiots. But if you look hard enough, you will probably find nice, motivated, interesting, and ambitious people. Also, you might find other people in their 20's. Don't write these people off, give them a chance first.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

jane said:


> Get to know people. Among 17-18 year olds at your school, I'm sure there will be a lot of immature idiots. But if you look hard enough, you will probably find nice, motivated, interesting, and ambitious people. Also, you might find other people in their 20's. Don't write these people off, give them a chance first.


most are immature idiots. its a transfer school so its mostly kids fresh out of high school. a lot of them i unfortunately went to high school with and its all the ones who were harassing me in high school/jr high, druggies. its very irritating and i have no tolerance for them. im just gonna focus on getting good grades. even though icant affort the books since they cost an arm and a leg


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## sberkley (Jan 28, 2010)

I agree that cc may be a hard place to meet anyone .. sometimes you simply have to buckle down and just work . I have a job where I refuse to get too close to co workers because last year I saw too much drama and I dont want drama at work . So maybe it is best to just do your work in school and make socializing outside of that ...


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

1applehearts1 said:


> all i hear is "dude wtf this class is gay man i hate this teacher f**** f**** "


You're probably better off not making friends with these people. Unfortunately, when that's the only thing you hear, it tends to cloud your judgment of other people at your school. Try to find someone who seems like they might have more in common with you and make up some excuse to say hello. Like ask about a homework assignment or a bus schedule or something like that.


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## JMX (Feb 26, 2008)

The fact that pretty much everyone is already in a social circle has made it impossible for me to make friends in college. In other words, everybody already has friends, so they're not really looking for new ones. Although I had a couple "friends" in college in the past, it always seemed like they put me on the lowest priority in terms of friends.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

yeah socializing at school is becoming impossible while socializing at work is becoming easier. i just got invited to a bday party the other day. im finding myself actually liking work since its the only place i CAN socialize. im very careful who i trust though i dont gossip about people so it should be fine for now


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## broseph (Jan 18, 2010)

I live in dorms and I still have trouble making friends. Even when I am put in a social situation I still can't think of anything to say. 

I have a friend who goes to a community college who doesn't have sa and he still hasn't been able to make many friends so I understand how hard it can be in community college.


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## Catching Fire (Apr 23, 2009)

I commute and its been tough making friends as I think it is for anyone who commutes SA or not. I've only made one good friend so far. I joined my colleges radio station and the art club this term so I should be set by the end of the term friends wise( at least thats the plan). 

Maybe you could look for another activity outside of work to meet people. You could possibly get some ideas from your coworkers too. Are you planning to just go to community college this year?


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## sabueed (May 8, 2008)

Its hard to make friends at college sometimes. I go to a school with 36,000 students, our classes consist of a large group of people so it is hard to socialize.


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## mechuga (Dec 2, 2009)

I had a really hard time making friends first semester, and I ended up spending most of my free time in my room with the door closed, which only made it even harder to make friends. This semester, I'm trying to spend more time out of my room by joining more clubs... I joined a campus tv show (I dont have to go on camera thank god) a knitting club, a mental health awareness club, and I'm taking sign language classes. Hopefully it'll all pay off :]


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## dancerinpink19 (Oct 1, 2008)

I live in the dorms too, and I find it hard to make friends. I just spend most of my time in my room. There are some people in my classes that I talk to every now and then, but we don't hang out outside of class. I joined a dance team so I could meet people, and it helped.


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## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

its so hard. i pretty much give up making friends here. its a commuter school, people come to class, and then leave. its kind of hard. as i get older its harder and harder to meet new people let alone make new friends. it feels to late for me. i give up :/ im getting really disappointed


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## aguy1010 (Feb 10, 2010)

yeah its hard, I'm now 24 and seemingly in classes with a lot of 18-19 year olds and a lot of them are very immature, just talking through class (to their one friend they obviously new beforehand) making stupid jokes and stuff to the point of where I don't understand why they even bother going to class because they don't pay attention for even one second of class, so I guess at this point I don't really care to talk to most of them anyways... however I do of course want to meet people.. well, I'm going to check out some clubs at my school to see if there are any I want to join, as far as at community colleges, there really isn't much offered, I guess I can't be of much help other than to say I can relate to your experience


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## Indigo Flow (Oct 3, 2009)

i started university in september, i haven't made any friends just people i know.


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## metallica2147 (Feb 15, 2010)

I'm only in HS but it's impossible for me to make friends. I just sit there and wait for class to be over while everybody talks with someone else. I don't even go to lunch because i have no one to sit with.


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## sarah30 (Feb 17, 2010)

This is my second semester in university, but I still dont have any friend.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Well, I'm an ANCIENT student now (just turned 30) so I can use the whole I'm too mature, age-gap excuse pretty well I think. fyi I'm not

Most of the time though I just don't make an effort to socialize when I easily could, but I have a few good friends/friendly acquaintances who are extremely social so that makes it easier especially in the college scene. Sometimes we gotta force that small talk even when it feels like it isn't there...I think.


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## rebuildtheparty (Feb 24, 2010)

I was in community college too, and I found it impossible. But because of my social anxiety, I usually avoided talking to someone :/ now that I've transferred to a much larger university, where less than 1% of students are commuters, I still can't make friends, and I try the best that I can


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## jmoop (Jul 12, 2009)

I have maybe one consistent buddy who I talk to on a regular basis. But other than that everyone has their own little group and won't talk to me unless I initiate, which I hate doing. Those who are loners are plugged into their headphones and don't look too friendly


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## Tiffx (Sep 28, 2009)

Ugh it is so hard to make friends in my course. Everyone just sits in lectures, attends class and then leaves. Or maybe it's just me I don't know. 

I do find it hard to initiate any conversation so I know I shouldn't be blaming everyone else for the lack of friends I have. I have one friend I hang out with but I only see her once a week and the other times I have no else to hang out with. It gets depressing after a while. 

I have a friend who goes to a different uni and she just keeps making friends everyday and has some pretty close friends she made in class. I'm starting to think the course I'm doing is making it harder for me to make friends combined with me being introverted and nervous.


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## carefree (Nov 16, 2008)

Tiffx said:


> Ugh it is so hard to make friends in my course. Everyone just sits in lectures, attends class and then leaves. Or maybe it's just me I don't know.
> 
> I do find it hard to initiate any conversation so I know I shouldn't be blaming everyone else for the lack of friends I have. I have one friend I hang out with but I only see her once a week and the other times I have no else to hang out with. It gets depressing after a while.


Literally in the exact same situation. I cannot initiate conversation and come across as awkward which is completely frustrating! Its annoying knowing that you are the barrier to your own success but feeling powerless to change. Anyways, I hope your situation gets better, I hope everyone's does!


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## Stanley (May 11, 2007)

I've never made friends while in college. Mostly acquaintances.


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## Tiffx (Sep 28, 2009)

shoppin_spree said:


> Literally in the exact same situation. I cannot initiate conversation and come across as awkward which is completely frustrating! Its annoying knowing that you are the barrier to your own success but feeling powerless to change. Anyways, I hope your situation gets better, I hope everyone's does!


Thank you, I hope everything works out for you too. 

It's just frustrating seeing other people easily make friends and socialise but you're always on the outside looking in.


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## ConfirmedConfusion (Jul 25, 2009)

I relate to the original poster very much. I went to a tech college after high school and was thrown into an age gap area where I was very young and the other students a lot older say average of 35+. Then I get to University and Im left in a reverse where I'm 20 and doing a lot of classes with new students at 18. I feel very out of place currently at University, as hard as I try to remind myself Uni is primarily for study it would be nice to make at least one genuine friend out of the experience, or at least some one to kill time with between classes instead of hiding in my car.


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## march_hare (Jan 18, 2006)

I've been in university nearly three years and I've made only one friend :/ And only because I lived with her in the first year


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## fredbloggs02 (Dec 14, 2009)

I've been going to the same college for over three years now. It was supposed to be a stepping stone to university but my sa is holding me up for another year now. Kids who dropped/got kicked out of school attend the college. You get the odd one like me. Unfortunately it's one on one tuition so I don't really have the chance to mingle. 1.5 hour train ride in, 4 hours straight of lessons then a looong train ride home. I wish I could make one friend, just one. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger is my philosophy...eughh!

All the are 15-18 I think. I'm that one year older so near as damn it.


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## Sisyphus (Mar 4, 2010)

I kind of made friends with my lab partner and then had another class with her the next quarter. It was nice to have someone to sit by, talk to, and study with, even if it was only for a quarter.


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## Ambivert (Jan 16, 2010)

Stanley said:


> I've never made friends while in college. Mostly acquaintances.


Yep, that sums me up nicely.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

I feel that it is very,I've just started uni here,but in Norway I felt it was just so hard.People just came to class and then they went home + that I kept avoiding class so mostly the blame is mine.
Something I didn't know about Australia is that people start out at college when they are really young and that most of the people who live in colleges are like 18.Not like that in Norway,there I was living in college(or dorm) and people were like from maybe 19-20 up till 40 so heh I should've done some more preparing before I decided to live in a college here.People on my floor are maybe 18-20 and I'm 27 so you can say that I feel old some times :b
My priorities are a little bit different than the people who are fresh out of high school,but I hope that I'll make some friends other places than here.


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