# Age Difference



## ericastooge (May 20, 2009)

Anyone know any marry couples who are 10 years apart and have a happy and successful relationship? Does 10 years apart seem weird?


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

10 years doesn't seem weird to me, at all. I've met friends of my mother who had an age difference of 10/+ years, and they got along very well and had successful relationships.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

It shouldn't make any difference.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Age doesn't matter unless you are physically handicapping your partner. The only thing that really matters is compatibility and attraction. If you have those two things then neither you or your partner will give two ****s less. And frankly, you shouldn't


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## anxious dreamer (Dec 23, 2012)

Ten years doesn't seem like a big age gap. I wouldn't mind dating a 28 year old if we connected and had similar interests.


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## Whatev (Feb 6, 2012)

Age is only an issue if you make it one.

As long as you flow well together then who cares?


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## kast (Nov 22, 2012)

Successful and happy relationships are not about age, and 10 years is not really a significant gap anyway.


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## little toaster (Jul 5, 2012)

I'm glad a 10 year difference isn't a big deal. 

It just means that the girl I'm interested in dating wouldn't get weird stares from people. But as of right now, I'm not sure if... well, you don't start dating someone with the expectation of getting married, so I guess it's just alright.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

18-28 is creepy.

35-45, who cares, both are fully grown adults.


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## pati (Aug 15, 2012)

That's nothing.


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## The Professor (Jul 31, 2011)

Just wondering, are most of you guys imagining that the man is the older one and the girl is younger in this situation? This topic is interesting to me.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

The Professor said:


> Just wondering, are most of you guys imagining that the man is the older one in this situation? This topic is interesting to me.


I am. I'm hypocritical, because at my age I would date someone 10 years older. But I know that at 29, I would never want to date a 19 year old boy.


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## KevOh (Dec 17, 2012)

My wife was 8 years younger than me, at first it wasn't an issue but it eventually became one when I grew up and she didn't...


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## Visionary (Apr 13, 2010)

My boyfriend is 10 years older than me. We are fine and no one seems to care.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

ericastooge said:


> Anyone know any marry couples who are 10 years apart and have a happy and successful relationship? Does 10 years apart seem weird?


It depends on how old you are. If you're 18 and you have a 28-year-old actively pursuing you, you should run the hell away from him.


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## kast (Nov 22, 2012)

The Professor said:


> Just wondering, are most of you guys imagining that the man is the older one and the girl is younger in this situation? This topic is interesting to me.


I imagined both because I don't know the age of the OP, but "older woman" came to mind first because I'm only 22 (so obviously I'm not going to date 10 years _younger_) and the woman I'm interested in is more than twice my age. :um
The gender of the eldest partner doesn't change anything; both are okay and 10 years is still not a huge gap for either gender.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

My parents have a 9 year (age) difference between them. I never saw it as weird since they were both fully grown adults when I was born. (31 & 40)


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

My aunt and now decreased uncle were 10 years apart. They were happily married. Totally in love. He was the younger of the two also. Such a shame.

I'm currently seeing a girl who is 9 years younger than me (she's 20)


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

My dad is ten years older than my mom and my mom is the boss in the relationship. As long as both are legal, it could be 40 years for all I care. If society has a problem with it, let them try to make laws. Bet they won't work.


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

My parents are 11 years apart and they have been married nearly 25 years now.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

TPower said:


> 18-28 is creepy.
> 
> 35-45, who cares, both are fully grown adults.


18-28 is two fully grown adults too, at least where I come from.

Anyways, I don't think 10 years is too bad, my parents are 10 years apart.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Droidsteel said:


> 18-28 is two fully grown adults too, at least where I come from.
> 
> Anyways, I don't think 10 years is too bad, my parents are 10 years apart.


How really?

How stable are you when you just got out of high school?
How ready are you, career-wise?
Do you know what you want out of life?

Most 18 year old girls I knew wanted to go out and party all the time, hook up with different guys, etc.


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

i just hope I can meet someone younger where it doesn't matter..


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## River In The Mountain (Jun 6, 2011)

My grandads cousin married a woman 20 years his senior and they were madly in love (seriously, was like something out of a movie) until the day she died. He passed away soon after and everybody said it was because his heart was broken. They were two crazy artists who spent their lives creating amazing sculptures and paintings and having eyes for nobody else. Age was never an issue to them.


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## 4everplaid (Dec 9, 2012)

I'm 45, my husband is 60, and we've been together for 19 years...married for 9 of them


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

10 years would be the limit. More than that would cause problems. My step-mother is 16 years older than my dad and she's starting to fall apart health wise while my dad is still going strong. She has fallen multiple times and f'ed herself up because her balance is not the best. Can't handle the cold due to circulation problems. Has already had one boob lopped off due to breast cancer. Had eye surgery recently. Can't drive anymore. 

If you marry someone much older than you, you know you will be taking care of them for the last decade or more of your marriage and you will not be able to do all the things you want to do. My dad can't go on trips abroad unless it's a very structured tour because my step-mother has health problems related to age. There are signs of slight dementia starting too. Can't remember things worth crap. 

It's worse if you are a woman marrying an older man because men die more than 5 years earlier than women on average. So if you marry a man 15 years older, you will most likely be a widow for over 20 years and will have no one to take care of you when you start to fall ill yourself. Not to mention that your sex life won't be so great since erectile dysfunction is very common among older men. 

The ideal would be for a woman to marry a man 5 years or so younger than her.


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## prayingcally84 (Dec 26, 2012)

I don't think 10 years is bad. My boyfriend is almost 8 years older than I am. I will say I did date someone who was 18 years older than me. Yeah, probably not one of the smartest things I have done but it was a mess. lol


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

My brother is 9 years older than his wife. He's 39 and she's 30. They've been married for 8 years.


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## aquilla (Aug 18, 2011)

The gap between my grandparents was 16 years, and their marriage was a happy one. I know couples with one being up to 20 years older, and that seems like not a big deal to them or their children. But I don't think I could be with someone that much older.


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## Triacastela (Jun 25, 2012)

I like hearing what people have to say about this topic. I have tended to be in relationships with older women and I think it has everything to do with my personality type - at this point it doesn't even seem like it could be any other way because I have trouble relating to people my own age a lot of the time. It's encouraging to hear people talk about that one friend or uncle or cousin who was in a loving marriage with someone older, because sometimes you only hear the stories that end badly.


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## HollowPrince (Dec 9, 2012)

ericastooge said:


> Anyone know any marry couples who are 10 years apart and have a happy and successful relationship? Does 10 years apart seem weird?


I had a friend who was with a guy 15 years older than her, or so.She's like...28, 29, and he 44-45.Anyway, they've been happy, hell they didn't even fight, ever, and as far i know they are still together.


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

My mom is 11 years older than my dad, so.... I don't think it's weird. He was 24 when they met. Two years later I was born. 

I don't think I'd go over 10-12, though. I'd like to grow old with my partner, not him see me grow old or I him.


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## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

Wouldn't be my cup of tea, i would think a 5 yr age gap is enough, been there with a 8 year age gap and i can honestly say i will never ever do it again.

There are so many reasons why i think it's too much, one being there are plenty of people around your age that you could get with.

My grandparents have 10 years between them (both sets of grandparents), but it was alot different in those days. Neither had happy marriages, even though they ended up having big families, but like i said, it was different times back then.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Age doesnt matter.

But it is nice to go through the same phases of life at the same time as your partner so i would definately go for someone your own age if possible.


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## baseballdude (May 23, 2010)

I feel like many younger women (20-25 years old) would be willing to date a much older guy (30-40 years old) because the older guy may already have his career going and they would be bringing home the bacon, and they would bypass a guy their own age since they would be just starting in his career and/or not making a lot of money. 

Ahh...good old materialism. God bless America.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

My parents are 9 years apart and they have a happy marriage. They're like two peas in a pod. My mother met my father when he was 22 and she was 31, I believe. I don't understand why she would be attracted to a guy fresh out of college at that age, though, but hey, it worked out. :stu


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## Chieve (Oct 9, 2012)

if im attracted to them, why not

although im not saying a 13 year old should be with an 80 year old

like their can be a age difference, but maybe 10 years most.

15 possible, depends on genetics and life style...i mean like lets say the older one looks younger, and the younger one looks older, that may shrink the look in age difference...but the younger one could look younger and older one can look older, making it look like one can be the dad lol


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## Koloz (Nov 11, 2011)

I guess its fine, my mom's boyfriend is 9 years older than my mom, and they're cool together. I would like to date a woman a few years older than me, but that will never happen.


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## Faery (Dec 24, 2012)

The Professor said:


> Just wondering, are most of you guys imagining that the man is the older one and the girl is younger in this situation? This topic is interesting to me.


Yes I am. I think its more common to have a younger woman with an older man. Especially with the larger age differences like 10 years. I dont think many women at 30 would want to date a 20 year old man but I wouldnt mind dating an older man, I've always felt quite mature for my age which is why older or slightly older men appeal to me. I think it comes down to the saying that girls tend to mature more quickly than boys.

For the most part age difference of around 10 years doesnt really matter. I would only find it concerning if the younger was between 16-18 (or younger! but that wouldnt be legal). My dad was 9 years older than my mum although they didnt last, but my dad is still about 5 years older than my stepmum and my stepdad is 3 years older than my mum.


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## Lonelygirl1986 (Sep 4, 2012)

11 years between me and my ex, he claimed to be mature but still managed to be annoying. I don't think I want another relationship I can't take another tactless immature perv for anyone but me.


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## anxious dreamer (Dec 23, 2012)

I am interested in being in a relationship with an older man. The oldest person I've dated was 5 years older than me. I was 16, and he 21. We dated for almost two years. I guess I just value the maturity level and education that older guys tend to have. Also, most boys my age aren't looking for someone to spend their life with. Most just want to have sex with as many girls as possible.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

komorikun said:


> 10 years would be the limit. More than that would cause problems. My step-mother is 16 years older than my dad and she's starting to fall apart health wise while my dad is still going strong. She has fallen multiple times and f'ed herself up because her balance is not the best. Can't handle the cold due to circulation problems. Has already had one boob lopped off due to breast cancer. Had eye surgery recently. Can't drive anymore.
> 
> If you marry someone much older than you, you know you will be taking care of them for the last decade or more of your marriage and you will not be able to do all the things you want to do. My dad can't go on trips abroad unless it's a very structured tour because my step-mother has health problems related to age. There are signs of slight dementia starting too. Can't remember things worth crap.
> 
> ...


This was what came to my mind as well. I don't see age being a problem at all in a relationship, until one starts to get ill in old age. My grandmother was 14 years younger than my grandfather and she has been a widow for....22 years now. They had a wonderful marriage from all accounts though.

I can't see someone in her 30s saying to her boyfriend "Hon, I love you, but I won't marry you because you're 42 and I don't want to take care of you when you're older". It's just a risk you have to take for love I guess. And you never know, either of you could get hit by a bus tomorrow anyways and age would be a moot point.

My boyfriend is seven years older than me, by the way.


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## ericastooge (May 20, 2009)

Thanks for the responses, everyone!

Well, I don't mind too much of age difference just as long I'm attracted to him. But if older men are looking for someone who is 10 years younger than them, I think it's best if she is 24, 25 on up as a starting point, other than that, wait.


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## HollowPrince (Dec 9, 2012)

I don't see a problem with pretty much any age difference, as long they like each other.Of course, unless one of 'em is underage...

Anyway, even if it did seem weird or anything...so what?Who am i to judge anyone?

Honestly, i don't see what's the problem with most of the "problems" people tend to ask about.Like this age difference, gay people, and so so many more things._Their life, their opinion, they can do w/e they want._


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## anxious dreamer (Dec 23, 2012)

HollowPrince said:


> I don't see a problem with pretty much any age difference, as long they like each other.Of course, unless one of 'em is underage...
> 
> *Anyway, even if it did seem weird or anything...so what?Who am i to judge anyone?
> 
> Honestly, i don't see what's the problem with most of the "problems" people tend to ask about.Like this age difference, gay people, and so so many more things.Their life, their opinion, they can do w/e they want.*


:yes


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## John316C (May 1, 2011)

ppl with an agenda say age matters, people with no agenda don't limit their freedoms - they're free to date any age they want. its usually the people who want to appear "cool" and do what they're friends do and think, they want their parents approval, their friends approval and societies approval


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## Lonelygirl1986 (Sep 4, 2012)

Just because a man is older though it does not mean he going to be mature.


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## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

Age difference isn't that big a deal to me, though at this point i'd probably not date anyone that was more than a year younger than me. Older is a different story. I'm surprised by all the stories of people with parents where the woman is older than the man. Pretty awesome, because I would love for that to happen to me.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Metalunatic said:


> Age difference isn't that big a deal to me, though at this point i'd probably not date anyobe that was nore than a year younger than me. Older is a different story. I'm surprised by all the stories of people with parents where the woman is older than the man. Pretty awesome, because I would love for that to happen to me.


My mom was 33 when she had me and my dad was 26.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Lonelygirl1986 said:


> Just because a man is older though it does not mean he going to be mature.


Oh yeah?!?! I resent that!!


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## shyshisho (Apr 19, 2009)

I'm concerned about this since it seems that many women get married by their 30s. So there aren't that many single women close to my age. Plus younger women tend to be more attractive anyway. 

Despite his being short, bald, and paunchy, a former coworker of mine in his 60s had a Chinese wife 30 years his junior. Maybe I need to look at Asia.


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## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

komorikun said:


> My mom was 33 when she had me and my dad was 26.


Nice. It seems to be happening a lot more, as well as it being more accepted. I've never really cared for the traditional view of the man being older. I guess it has to do with maturity and life experience among other things.


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## callalilly26 (Jun 13, 2012)

It's a problem if you're really young and you haven't experienced everything your partner already has. They may have to wait for you or they may take your time to experience things away. But that's the choice you make, I guess. And it has to do with the maturity level of the younger party which I'm assuming you probably are. You have to evaluate things beforehand to see if it's going to work. Don't shortchange yourself anything if you feel you need to live your life more, but if you feel you don't need to or want to, go for it. 

I think age isn't a big factor as long as it's not too big of a gap. I've dated both younger and older than me...I've had different experiences with both. And I can give many reasons why they didn't work. There were good things to both of those too. Just think of yourself and what you want... and if you really care about the person and feel like this is where you want to go in your life, that's all that matters.


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## callalilly26 (Jun 13, 2012)

That's a disturbing story about your former co-worker because I guarantee that's not love. I hate men like that...they're gross and shallow. They won't settle for anyone else because they want "younger and attractive," but hell, they aren't at all! That's infuriating. It's not like these men turn into Richard Gere at that age.



shyshisho said:


> I'm concerned about this since it seems that many women get married by their 30s. So there aren't that many single women close to my age. Plus younger women tend to be more attractive anyway.
> 
> Despite his being short, bald, and paunchy, a former coworker of mine in his 60s had a Chinese wife 30 years his junior. Maybe I need to look at Asia.


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

I met this one woman who was in a 13 year apart relationship today. She was 36 and her husband was 23.

**I see myself dating older guys too (whenever that happens).


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## dingdong (Jan 6, 2013)

I've heard about a formula for figuring out acceptable limits. The older person divides their age in half, rounds that answer down, then adds seven, and that's the youngest a person they date should be. So, if you had a 45 year old man, the youngest person he should date would be a 29 year old. Granted, I don't think this should be the be-all-end-all rule, but I do think it works for a general idea.

Also, for me personally, I'd want to stick with this rule because I'd want to date someone who was at a similar place in their life.


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## FeelNothing (Sep 25, 2012)

I didn't want to start a new thread, sorry If it's not the right place for this question. 

Ladies, Is it a big deal for you If the guy is about 2 years younger?


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## dingdong (Jan 6, 2013)

^
Right now, when I'm 25, nope, not a problem.

When I was 21 it would have been a bigger deal because I was living up the 21 year old lifestyle, going to the bars and whatnot and it would have sucked dating someone that couldn't do that with me.

If I was a 15 year old in high school that could have put me dating a middle schooler, which seems creepy to me.

Mostly depends on the person and their maturity level, but it's probably not a big deal.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

anytime you want to add numbers to something like attraction you're doing yourself a disfavor. just don't do anything illegal


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## callalilly26 (Jun 13, 2012)

It's not at all. I was dating a guy 3.5 years younger. And I've dated guys 2 years younger. There's nothing wrong it.



FeelNothing said:


> I didn't want to start a new thread, sorry If it's not the right place for this question.
> 
> Ladies, Is it a big deal for you If the guy is about 2 years younger?


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Sometimes age differences work.

I am so far behind, that an age difference probably would work, in my case.


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