# Almost two months of university and still no friends!?



## vidory

Im starting to freak out, I started university almost two month ago and still don't have anyone who I can call a real friend and I don't know how to change that... I go to some events and study with a "friend" but i think she's only there because she feels sorry for me. I've joined four clubs but everyone I meet there just stay there! Can't even concentrate on my studies anymore because i keep worrying ill spend the rest of my life alone. 

Does anyone else have similar experiences with making friends at university? and how did you overcome this?


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## lawl

*.*

i can kinda relate to you, ive been in this university for a little over a month and i dont really have people i can call to hang out with. i've met some people and got their phone numbers. i did text one person to eat at the dining commons with me which was a first for me cause i was never the type of person to ask people to hang out, like never ever. so yeah try asking people to eat or something if you guys have a dining hall of some sort


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## vidory

lawl said:


> i can kinda relate to you, ive been in this university for a little over a month and i dont really have people i can call to hang out with. i've met some people and got their phone numbers. i did text one person to eat at the dining commons with me which was a first for me cause i was never the type of person to ask people to hang out, like never ever. so yeah try asking people to eat or something if you guys have a dining hall of some sort


hey, most of the time i eat with the people on my floor and sometimes i eat with the friend that i hang out with and a group of her friends. The thing is i don't have anyone to do FUN things with, i have people i talk to and people i study with but they never invite me out to the mall or parties. At first a group on our floor went to the mall in the beginning of the year and they invited me, but i think people think im boring and as well i go home on the weekends (missed out alot) and so now nobody invites me anymore!


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## lawl

*.*



vidory said:


> hey, most of the time i eat with the people on my floor and sometimes i eat with the friend that i hang out with and a group of her friends. The thing is i don't have anyone to do FUN things with, i have people i talk to and people i study with but they never invite me out to the mall or parties. At first a group on our floor went to the mall in the beginning of the year and they invited me, but i think people think im boring and as well i go home on the weekends (missed out alot) and so now nobody invites me anymore!


heck, thats better than my situation right now, i dont even know anyone on my floor, i just say hi to some.. theres a downtown here that i wanna go to, but i dont think i will have anyone to go with..i mean there probably is someone but thats my mindset that stopping me from asking them..

you should just be like.. hey wanna go to the mall with me or something to another group of people er like what are you doing tomorrow, wanna come with me? yeah..

i stay in the dorms for the weekends, there's nothing to do, i just stay in my dorm mostly, kinda sucks though

why do you think youre boring? is it because you dont talk much? I kind of see myself in that light too just because i dont say much to people


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## vidory

so glad to find someone going through the same things. I spend most of my time in my room as well, just because I don't want to go out and be the loner standing by themselves. But l've really been forcing myself to go out more (excepting all invitations, going to club meetings...) I think you should try the same thing, maybe start with something small and get to know the people on your floor, I only got to know my floor mates because of orientation week. 

As for why I think I'm boring, everyone on my floor is super outgoing and super smart with lots of hobbies and experiences, which kind of makes me feel bad...I also usually don't have anything interesting to add to their conversations especially when they are discussing old friends, and other people they have met


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## millenniumman75

It has only been two months - it is NOT too late .


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## lawl

vidory said:


> so glad to find someone going through the same things. I spend most of my time in my room as well, just because I don't want to go out and be the loner standing by themselves. But l've really been forcing myself to go out more (excepting all invitations, going to club meetings...) I think you should try the same thing, maybe start with something small and get to know the people on your floor, I only got to know my floor mates because of orientation week.
> 
> As for why I think I'm boring, everyone on my floor is super outgoing and super smart with lots of hobbies and experiences, which kind of makes me feel bad...I also usually don't have anything interesting to add to their conversations especially when they are discussing old friends, and other people they have met


yeah for sure, ive been pushing myself to be outgoing. i joined a club. everyone is super nice there. theres only like one person i talk to a lot but its all good. Last week i met two floormates cause i was taking the elevator. Maybe i should take the elevator more often hah.

Same here, people on this side of the floor are loud, and outgoing and go out to party and stuff which aint my thing. My room mate's best friend goes to the same school so that doesnt really make my situation better, it just forces me to be more outgoing.

i made a blog to vent out if you wanna check it out, you might be able to relate idk.. http://careahmull.tumblr.com/


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## andy1984

2 months is fine. I'm 5 years in and still no friends from uni lol!


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## Darko

I'm in my 5th year at college. No lasting friendships. A couple acquaintances. Bravo to me!:clap


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## seafolly

Two months isn't THAT long, especially if you don't live in residence. That makes it easy - everyone wants to make friends there, haha. 

I'm in a similar boat though. I transferred universities leaving my friends behind and though I've been here for two years I only socialize with my housemates. The snag is I don't make the effort quite honestly. At 25 most people in my classes are several years younger and as time goes by that starts to become noticeable (aka "omg did you guys watch Jersey Shore last night!?! my life is now overr!!")

In your case try not to stress yet. Two months isn't very long and you're doing everything right by making the effort and putting yourself out there. It's more than I do! Keep smiling and someone will come along.  There are so many people with so many varying personalities. It also doesn't hurt to say hello to people next to you in classes. It's shocking how well that can work.


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## ssims92

Problem is, I'm comfortable hiding out in my boyfriends apartment and am too scared to go try to meet people or go do clubs. Go you for trying, seriously...that is more than I could ever do. To meet friends here I go out and get utterly drunk, walk around and make some new friends by being a ridiculous idiot. Sadly, it works and makes me more comfortable talking to people...


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## Paper Samurai

Well I'm kinda in the same boat :yes For the last month I've pushed myself out more than usual, met some nice people - and some have turned to acquaintances and what not. Sadly no real connections (e.g. friends in the true sense) that you could call and hang out with.

Pushed myself to the foreign cinema club tonight too btw, but it was a dark room lol and everyone literally just up sticks and left as the credits rolled. So no real chance for conversation what so ever :b So much for that idea...


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## kenny87

Personally I don't see anyone worth being friends with, I don't have any, but haven't meet anyone I would want to be around all the time with anyways so there isn't much I can do.


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## Neptunus

You still have a lot of time and a lot of classes ahead of you. Don't count yourself out yet.


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## alex911

We`re here for you! At least you have a bunch of awsome online friends(I know its not the same thing).


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## nycdude

Me too, haven't spoken to anyone since i have such few classes and everyone else seems busy. i did speak to some people but i guess it just because we are in the same class and we need to help each other out. but after school i go straight home, no friends to hang out with.


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## vidory

Didn't realize how common this problem was, since at my university it seems like everyone else has made friends already... 

And this is off topic but does anyone feel sorry for other people who seem to be even more anxious than you are? I find myself trying hard to talk to them and asking them to eat together just because I feel like they are going through the same thing (even though I have no idea).


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## CdnDemoniac

vidory said:


> Didn't realize how common this problem was, since at my university it seems like everyone else has made friends already...
> 
> And this is off topic but does anyone feel sorry for other people who seem to be even more anxious than you are? I find myself trying hard to talk to them and asking them to eat together just because I feel like they are going through the same thing (even though I have no idea).


Something to consider, even though it may seem like everyone is super outgoing and super social, that's not really the case. These people tend to be the loudest and tend to have the most attention drawn to them, so it's always very hard to miss a person like that. The people who are more introverted don't draw as much attention to themselves, and many even intentionally try to not attract attention. So wherever you are, trust me, there are people going through similar things or aren't has social and loud as the socialites that you see.

To answer your question, I try to meet other people who don't seem to fit in and befriend them. It's not "feeling sorry for them" or pitying them per ce, since I think compared to alot of other people I've met or seen my SA is not nearly on par with theirs in terms of intensity, I still like having someone who knows the pains and struggles of not fitting in and we often can emotionally connect and relate to one another rather easily.


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## CopadoMexicano

I've managed to make " maybe"one good friend since 2003 after starting in 2002 ever since than its all been aquaitances


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## Karuni

I'm in my second week of my freshman year, and I'm afraid I'll end up going the whole year without a single new friend. My roommate is a friend from high school so she's the only one I can talk to and drag along with me to places because I'm too afraid to go alone a lot. I also fear her making a bunch of new friends and ditching me all of the time. I'll be truly alone then. :afr I know she has the right to have her own friends and own time, but I'm so clingy because she's the only one I have here...

I'm just boring and antisocial to people I guess. I've joined in a few conversations, and a couple of people have said they'll add me on Facebook but they didn't. I wonder if they saw my profile and thought "Ew, she's so weird and boring. Nevermind. lol" A couple of people on my floor say hi to my roommate but not me. I'll bet I'm that weird, quiet, antisocial girl no one will talk to in their minds now... Another screwed up year.


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## hollowtears

I´ve been in school for over a year and 0 friends.


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## Wobble

Well I'm starting college in 4 days :afr 
But not really bothered with making friends because I know if I focus too much on that I'll just be disappointed and use up too much energy worrying about it.
I've just accepted being a loner I guess, which I prefer instead of following people like a sheep.


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## kittenamos

I have been in college for a week and have made many friends. Actually, I have two different groups of friends. One group I meet through my roommate. They are into Anime/Manga which I had gotten into in High School. A friend of mine that I made in 8th grade is going to the same college I am and my other group of friends I made through her.


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## laura024

Try 3 years of college and no friends.


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## hollowtears

laura024 said:


> Try 3 years of college and no friends.


you gonna be fine kiddo!


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## caius timidus

I am starting my second year of college and have no friends. There seems to be a magical idea one somehow magically make friends in college. It didn't happen. People would ask me for physics and chemistry help occasionally (usually in class). They extended an invitation to go to dinner after the physics final, which I went to and passively participated in. It's true I ate lunch with a girl in my Chemistry class (I can't fully explain why that happened) in the spring. Over the summer, I went on a study abroad excursion in Europe, which again did not lead to friendships.


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## laura024

hollowtears said:


> you gonna be fine kiddo!


lol I don't mind. I have enough acquaintances on campus to make me look and feel social. I don't have much need for hanging out.


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## CopadoMexicano

laura024 said:


> Try 3 years of college and no friends.


 thats nothing anything like ten years and above is deprivation.


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## cybernaut

I'm 4 weeks into my freshman year in university, and still haven't made any friends either. I've been eating lunch alone everyday too.

For me, I just have an issue with approaching people. I don't why..it's probably due to rejection, nervousness, awkwardness,etc. Even when I get left out of group work, I dont care/attempt to join a random group. If someone does approach me (which has happened), I try to put in some effort towards getting to know that person though. I've been a loner since middle & high school, but I still get depressed and feel empty because of it..especially when I'm surrounded by a bunch of socializing people. Most of the freshman also went to the same high school and still stick with the same people. I also live off-campus, so that makes it a bit hardersometimes.


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## Syndacus

I didn't start making friends until my final semester and final year of college. Then they were all gone again as they went their own ways.


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## lyric

I'll be starting my second year in a week. I didn't make any close or true friends during my first year. Just a few associates. My second year will either go one or two ways: either I'll stay isolated in my apartment all the time, or I'll actually have the courage to mingle with the other people in my building.


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## Genetic Garbage

I am in university for two years now and never made a friend. I don't have any acquaintances at uni either. I don't care anymore.


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## cybernaut

I think it makes it even worst, when I have my parents or other people in general calling me or asking on a daily basis, asking if I made any new friends or having when I haven't made not one yet. I'm at the point of *making up *people that I met and lying to them just to get them off my back. That's one question that I just hate getting asked..and it causes me to tense up so much.


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## Noca

i have zero friends at school, though i have a gf, 2 best friends, 3 other friends and many online friends outside of school. I've been in college/uni for going on 4 years now.


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## duble

whatever. at least you guys don't have my problem...i make freinds for about a month or so and then they ditch me. It has been the same way my whole life(i kid you not). People think i'm cool at first, but then they realize i'm just plain f*cked up.

genetic garbage. respect bro


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## LydiaC

ratherunique11 said:


> I think it makes it even worst, when I have my parents or other people in general calling me or asking on a daily basis, asking if I made any new friends or having when I haven't made not one yet. I'm at the point of *making up *people that I met and lying to them just to get them off my back. That's one question that I just hate getting asked..and it causes me to tense up so much.


I can really relate to that. or especially if you see your old high school friends who ask about your uni friends and they all have heaps. Sigh it's really depressing.


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