# Girls: how do you feel about guys who frequent strip clubs?



## Dane (Jul 27, 2009)

How do you feel about guys who fequent strip clubs?


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## melissa75 (Feb 16, 2010)

I'm not attracted to the type of guy that needs to go the strip club every weekend. It seems a bit like an addiction I'm not interested in dealing with. However, I'm not against it if he goes for reasons such as bachelor parties or the occasional guy-bonding experience or whatever.


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## jmd (Feb 18, 2011)

melissa75 said:


> I'm not attracted to the type of guy that needs to go the strip club every weekend. It seems a bit like an addiction I'm not interested in dealing with. However, I'm not against it if he goes for reasons such as bachelor parties or the occasional guy-bonding experience or whatever.


Agreed.


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## lyssado707 (Oct 29, 2004)

Just knowing that a guy went to strip clubs would not give me enough information about the type of individual he is to make any sort of judgement without relying on sterotypes (which i try not to do).


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## skygazer (Dec 26, 2010)

If I don't like him/don't know him, I really don't care and I don't want to know about it


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

I'd just be bummed he didn't bring me with him.


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## layitontheline (Aug 19, 2009)

melissa75 said:


> I'm not attracted to the type of guy that needs to go the strip club every weekend. It seems a bit like an addiction I'm not interested in dealing with. However, I'm not against it if he goes for reasons such as bachelor parties or the occasional guy-bonding experience or whatever.


This. If I were in a relationship with someone I wouldn't much like him going to strip clubs except for the odd occasion.


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## CabecitaSilenciosa (Jun 8, 2010)

melissa75 said:


> I'm not attracted to the type of guy that needs to go the strip club every weekend. It seems a bit like an addiction I'm not interested in dealing with.





layitontheline said:


> This. If I were in a relationship with someone I wouldn't much like him going to strip clubs except for the odd occasion.


This.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I hate strip clubs. I would rather stay home and have my girlfriend strip for me only. Of course i would return the favor.


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## melissa75 (Feb 16, 2010)

Logan X said:


> I hate strip clubs. I would rather stay home and have my girlfriend strip for me only. Of course i would return the favor.


Nice :yes


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## MagusAnima (Mar 4, 2010)

It's a dumpable offense for me.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

I guess it would depend upon the definition of frequent... you mean like every night, every weekend, once a month... or occasionally.

With any frequency it would be -as stated above- dumpable... for many reasons.

But if it's something he did with the guys once or twice a year... no big deal... I might even wanna go sometime and if he'd be willing to take me... then I wouldn't find any harm in it.


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## CabecitaSilenciosa (Jun 8, 2010)

melissa75 said:


> Nice :yes


I agree, lol. :yes


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Logan X said:


> I hate strip clubs. I would rather stay home and have my girlfriend strip for me only. Of course i would return the favor.


Yeah, me too.. but it is kinda cheap points to score lol :b

I've known a girl (online) that had worked at a strip club.
After what she told me about how things were there and what they had to put up with, I don't think I could ever go to one without feeling very guilty.
They are just people trying to make a living though and I don't look down on them for it, but I just can't be part of it...


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## ImmortalxApathy (Feb 19, 2011)

It's very unattractive. I find it gross.


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## Melinda (Feb 5, 2009)

I'm going to assume you mean "would I date a guy who frequented strip clubs?"

I would, yeah, as long as he didn't go more than like a few times a month. I don't see anything wrong with that. I mean, if we were dating I'd like him to be primarily into me--but if he wanted to go I wouldn't care. I'd go with him sometimes if he wanted.


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## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

I would find it gross.


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## MindOverMood (Dec 12, 2009)

I've been to the strip club 3 or 4 times I believe.



Perfectionist said:


> I'd just be bummed he didn't bring me with him.


Yes! People always looks at us when my sister comes to watch strippers:lol


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

I would not date someone who did. I don't mind if my boyfriend goes to one for a bachelors party every now and then, or something of that sort, but other than that, no.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

CabecitaSilenciosa said:


> This.


The only way I would be okay with it is if the male-bonding thing is done over the chicken wings they have at strip clubs. Otherwise, no - I just can't see myself being okay with someone who frequents strip club for the sole purpose of objectifying women.



> I've known a girl (online) that had worked at a strip club.
> After what she told me about how things were there and what they had to put up with, I don't think I could ever go to one without feeling very guilty.
> They are just people trying to make a living though and I don't look down on them for it, but I just can't be part of it...


Thank you. Unfortunately, most men aren't particularly well-acquainted with sex workers to realize that most of them would rather do something else if they really had the choice.


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## Dane (Jul 27, 2009)

So far, it's 77% find going to strip clubs unattractive in a guy, while 13% find it attractive or "love strip clubs". 

I made this poll because there was disagreement in another thread about whether girls were turned off by strip clubs or whether they thought any guy worth his salt would go to them. 

I thought girls would give thumbs down to strip clubs, and it seems I was right on the whole. I am a little surprised that a lot of girls think that going to a strip club once or twice a year is ok, though.


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## Losm (Jan 23, 2011)

Major turn off.


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## Catherine Cavatica (Feb 2, 2011)

Perfectionist said:


> I'd just be bummed he didn't bring me with him.


^^^^
Me too


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

It would depend on frequency I guess. If he goes there like every week then he better be a bouncer at that club or something b/c that is excessive.

If he's just going there every once in awhile then I wouldn't care.


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## Salus (Feb 27, 2011)

Sure he can go...but that's when I say byebye..

Diffrent if it's for a bachelor party..but nothing else

How do men feel if women go to strip clubs? (as in the ones where the strippers are the men)

I have always felt it wrong to "buy" anothers body..


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

I wouldn't wanna date him.:no


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

^ In my mind, you don't *frequent* strip clubs. Erm, I voted on this poll and said not attractive based on the word "frequent" and only because the men that go all the time seem slimey. It's not the going, it's the guys that go, and if they are going that much they tend to be those guys.

:um

Yeah, ignore me.


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## Kit10sG8 (Feb 27, 2011)

Turfed.


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## Onigiri (Aug 3, 2010)

Logan X said:


> I hate strip clubs. I would rather stay home and have my girlfriend strip for me only. Of course i would return the favor.


Awww! Brownie points!


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## Catherine Cavatica (Feb 2, 2011)

diamondheart420 said:


> I guess everyone just has things they can't tolerate, y'know? It's just something I couldn't accept about a prospective partner. It just feels ..I dunno, sleazy? Some girls don't mind it at all but I would. It's weird because I don't care that much about a guy watching porn every now and then when unattached. I guess it's the thought process behind making that effort to go somewhere for the purpose of seeking out naked women as opposed to feeling horny and watching an erotic movie online or whtever. :| One is more passive while the other takes a lot more effort and intent.


Well put diamondheart. I agree with this


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

It's amazing how many women are turned off by a man who has a normal sex drive. 

I'm curious (And I'm not trying to be rude. I'm just trying to keep it real). For those who said it's unattractive, is it just jealousy or do you really find male sexuality gross? I mean I can kind of understand that a female wouldn't want her guy looking at naked women but the reality is that a man is probably not going to find a new relationship at a strip club. So it's just a dude doing what guys like to do. Look at naked women. Any guy who says he doesn't like to look at naked women is probably either gay or lying. And most men probably do it whether they're doing it online (with or without their wife/GF's knowledge/approval) or at a strip club (Same). 

At the end of the day, this is normal male behavior. Not every man does it but the ones who don't are probably refraining from doing it either to please their partners or out of misplaced guilt/social stigma.


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## Catherine Cavatica (Feb 2, 2011)

PickleNose said:


> It's amazing how many women are turned off by a man who has a normal sex drive.
> 
> I'm curious (And I'm not trying to be rude. I'm just trying to keep it real). For those who said it's unattractive, is it just jealousy or do you really find male sexuality gross? I mean I can kind of understand that a female wouldn't want her guy looking at naked women but the reality is that a man is probably not going to find a new relationship at a strip club. So it's just a dude doing what guys like to do. Look at naked women. Any guy who says he doesn't like to look at naked women is probably either gay or lying. And most men probably do it whether they're doing it online (with or without their wife/GF's knowledge/approval) or at a strip club (Same).
> 
> At the end of the day, this is normal male behavior. Not every man does it but the ones who don't are probably refraining from doing it either to please their partners or out of misplaced guilt/social stigma.


What so women just have to accept that their partner will go and have some women shove her boobs in his face grope him everywhere and then come home and expect to have a loving partner, too. C'mon IMO that's totally unfair and the women who are showing themselves for money when some of us at an early age had a knife held at them and were forced to show private parts when they are giving it away for money makes me:x

Yeah your damn right I have issues with it!!!!! And it's not just JEALOUSY!!
Man I've lived through this so that's why I'm so passionate on this issue.
Why should I be jealous THEY ARE NOT BETTER THAN ME!!!
I'm the one that is with my guy. How would those women(strippers) and you men like it if the tables were turned huh


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## room101 (Nov 5, 2010)

matty said:


> Please dont judge me but I go to strip clubs. Not nightly or weekly but from time to time. I am a single guy.
> 
> So let me get this straight, half the girls here would not want to date me because I go to strip clubs as a single guy. I dont when I am in a relationship unless it is for a bucks night or something. But come on, none of you would even know that I went if I didnt say so, and I dont think I am a terrible person, and I think I am a pretty genuine, compassionate and caring person.
> 
> Why do I go, because I can sit alone and enjoy a beer without feeling like a loser who is sitting alone in a pub. I feel a lot less judged inside a strip club then in any other club or pub. I dont get private dances, but I will talk to the girls if they want to sit down. I dont go to see nudity, I go so I can feel comfortable in a pub setting.


If we were friends and you told me this, I wouldn't be disgusted or turned off. Maybe slightly worried, because you mention 'feeling like a loser' at a regular pub and to me that indicates a bit of SA. I can understand where you're coming from though, and a strip club does seem like the sort of place where you're less likely to be judged.

But context changes thing. If I were dating a guy and he mentioned he frequents strip clubs (for other than the occasional bachelor party/male bonding type thing), I would be slightly turned off. Unlike the friend scenario, I probably wouldn't be well acquainted enough with the guy to know his reasons for going and it would make me wonder if it's just for the purposes of getting lap dances or to fulfill some sort of obsession.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

Catherine Cavatica said:


> What so women just have to accept that their partner will go and have some women shove her boobs in his face grope him everywhere and then come home and expect to have a loving partner, too.


 Well, actually, it's been a while since I've been to a strip club but at the one I used to go to, the girls weren't allowed to grope the customers (nor were the customers allowed to grope the girls). It was strictly a visual experience.

And no. Women don't have to accept anything. But if you're not realistic in your expectations, you're going to have a lot of grief because you're trudging through life thinking other people are going to change who and what they fundamentally are to keep you happy.

This is why I say, long-term relationships (as most people know them) are fundamentally flawed in that human beings are just not really meant to be monogamous.



> and the women who are showing themselves for money when some of us at an early age had a knife held at them and were forced to show private parts when they are giving it away for money makes me:x


 I'm not sure I understand this part. I take it to mean you're upset with women who work at strip clubs because some women have bad experiences with men. I'm not sure what one thing has to do with another?



> Yeah your damn right I have issues with it!!!!! And it's not just JEALOUSY!!
> Man I've lived through this so that's why I'm so passionate on this issue.
> Why should I be jealous THEY ARE NOT BETTER THAN ME!!!
> I'm the one that is with my guy. How would those women(strippers) and you men like it if the tables were turned huh


 Actually, I wouldn't mind but I wouldn't get into a relationship with someone in the first place unless it was mutually understood to be an open relationship from day one. I would want my partner to be happy first and foremost. If she just wanted to go to a strip club, she's probably coming home to me at the end of the day. That's all that matters to me.

But see. This is why I'm asking. Because my definition of a relationship isn't the same as probably the vast majority of people's definition.

Anyway, I didn't say they're better than anyone. Jealousy doesn't necessarily come from a feeling of inferiority (or being inferior). It can be as simple as an instinctive fear of losing what you have. And that's perfectly understandable. It wasn't really a judgment. I was just curious.


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## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

PickleNose said:


> It's amazing how many women are turned off by a man who has a normal sex drive.
> 
> I'm curious (And I'm not trying to be rude. I'm just trying to keep it real). For those who said it's unattractive, is it just jealousy or do you really find male sexuality gross? I mean I can kind of understand that a female wouldn't want her guy looking at naked women but the reality is that a man is probably not going to find a new relationship at a strip club. So it's just a dude doing what guys like to do. Look at naked women. Any guy who says he doesn't like to look at naked women is probably either gay or lying. And most men probably do it whether they're doing it online (with or without their wife/GF's knowledge/approval) or at a strip club (Same).
> 
> At the end of the day, this is normal male behavior. Not every man does it but the ones who don't are probably refraining from doing it either to please their partners or out of misplaced guilt/social stigma.


I feel as if your concept of 'normal male behavior' is skewed by your own lifestyle and those around you. Yes, I agree that men like looking at naked women. But why do you assume that the same isn't true of women? Women also like looking at naked men (provided they're hot.) But liking that doesn't equate going to establishments dedicated to parading naked women in front of you. I might enjoy looking at a naked man on TV, or online, but going to a stripclub is a whole different level of involvement and dedication. It isn't even jealousy. It's disrespectful to me if my bf or husband is out there eye-sexing and objectifying women. Sex, to me should be an intimate and valuable thing you share with the person you love. But that's just me talking.


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## sacred (May 25, 2009)

i go to strip clubs all the time and ill never stop....ever. the music..the alcohol..the varity of women...its a comforting and stimulating atmosphere to be in. 

i dont believe 51 women are against it i think men are voting too. everyone is so hellbent on wholesomeness around here.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

diamondheart420 said:


> It's disrespectful to me if my bf or husband


I agree with this. I dont understand a guy going out when he has a girlfriend or wife. You share an emotional connection with someone then I really dont see the need to get it from elsewhere.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

diamondheart420 said:


> I feel as if your concept of 'normal male behavior' is skewed by your own lifestyle and those around you.


 To some extent. But it also comes from many years of observing "the human male in his natural habitat" to use a reference from some "Animal Kingdom" type show. And even though that's still a relatively small sample, I think it's pretty accurate. It IS a generality and a generality can never represent every single person. Wasn't really meant to.



> Yes, I agree that men like looking at naked women. But why do you assume that the same isn't true of women?


 I don't assume that. But I don't think women like looking at naked men (or women) as much as men like looking at naked women. I wish women liked it a whole lot more because then I think this whole debate would kind of fade away.



> But liking that doesn't equate going to establishments dedicated to parading naked women in front of you. I might enjoy looking at a naked man on TV, or online, but going to a stripclub is a whole different level of involvement and dedication.


 Not really. If you're not going there to pick someone up (if you're just going to look), it all comes out the same. It's like saying going to see a race at a racetrack in person is all that different from watching it on TV. Sure. It's more fun and it's a different experience but it's not the same thing as buying a race car and being a race car driver. It's a spectator sport.



> It isn't even jealousy. It's disrespectful to me if my bf or husband is out there eye-sexing and objectifying women.


 The term "objectifying" bothers me. I find it an absurd argument.

I get why you feel it's disrespectful to you. Sort of. But I still think it has to boil down to "You're my man".



> Sex, to me should be an intimate and valuable thing you share with the person you love. But that's just me talking.


 But sex doesn't require love. The idea that you should only do it with people you love is like the idea that you should only play tennis with people you hate. People assign values to sex that seem to come out of nowhere. If you aren't religious (and I'm not) where is it written that you have to love the person you have sex with? And we just accept it because it's sex and sex is all special and stuff. For some unknown, unwritten reason.


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## Catherine Cavatica (Feb 2, 2011)

PickleNose said:


> Well, actually, it's been a while since I've been to a strip club but at the one I used to go to, the girls weren't allowed to grope the customers (nor were the customers allowed to grope the girls). It was strictly a visual experience.
> 
> And no. Women don't have to accept anything. But if you're not realistic in your expectations, you're going to have a lot of grief because you're trudging through life thinking other people are going to change who and what they fundamentally are to keep you happy.
> 
> ...


Don't even start me, mate:no
Your post has me too angry to reply.


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## Catherine Cavatica (Feb 2, 2011)

diamondheart420 said:


> I feel as if your concept of 'normal male behavior' is skewed by your own lifestyle and those around you. Yes, I agree that men like looking at naked women. But why do you assume that the same isn't true of women? Women also like looking at naked men (provided they're hot.) But liking that doesn't equate going to establishments dedicated to parading naked women in front of you. I might enjoy looking at a naked man on TV, or online, but going to a stripclub is a whole different level of involvement and dedication. It isn't even jealousy. It's disrespectful to me if my bf or husband is out there eye-sexing and objectifying women. Sex, to me should be an intimate and valuable thing you share with the person you love. But that's just me talking.


Definately diamondheart. Thanks for posting. I agree with this


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## Catherine Cavatica (Feb 2, 2011)

sacred said:


> i go to strip clubs all the time and ill never stop....ever. the music..the alcohol..the varity of women...its a comforting and stimulating atmosphere to be in.
> 
> i dont believe 51 women are against it i think men are voting too. everyone is so hellbent on wholesomeness around here.


Look don't get me wrong. I'm bi so I would even go once just to experience it. But having to go to strip clubs religiously I don't agree with.


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## Catherine Cavatica (Feb 2, 2011)

matty said:


> I agree with this. I dont understand a guy going out when he has a girlfriend or wife. You share an emotional connection with someone then I really dont see the need to get it from elsewhere.


Awesome, Matty You seem like a decent guy. And re your quote from the last post I do know what goes on there and it has nothing to do with me as the ppl I know of are not close to me so it's not like I have hurt feelings from it.


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## RayOfLight123 (Dec 4, 2009)

I wouldn't mind..only if I could go with him aswell!


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

PickleNose said:


> It's amazing how many women are turned off by a man who has a normal sex drive.
> 
> I'm curious (And I'm not trying to be rude. I'm just trying to keep it real). For those who said it's unattractive, is it just jealousy or do you really find male sexuality gross? I mean I can kind of understand that a female wouldn't want her guy looking at naked women but the reality is that a man is probably not going to find a new relationship at a strip club. So it's just a dude doing what guys like to do. Look at naked women. Any guy who says he doesn't like to look at naked women is probably either gay or lying. And most men probably do it whether they're doing it online (with or without their wife/GF's knowledge/approval) or at a strip club (Same).
> 
> At the end of the day, this is normal male behavior. Not every man does it but the ones who don't are probably refraining from doing it either to please their partners or out of misplaced guilt/social stigma.


No... My boyfriend does not enjoy going to strip clubs and it has nothing to do with pleasing me or feeling guilty. Sorry he doesn't see the point in shelling out a bunch of cash to look at a naked woman who he wont even have sex with anyway. Don't presume to know every person in the world and you certainly don't know my boyfriend better than I do.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

PickleNose said:


> The term "objectifying" bothers me. I find it an absurd argument.


It is absurd to you because you're a (heterosexual) man - the world revolves around you and you won't ever have to see it from a woman's POV except maybe if you're related to her and sometimes even then.

I would continue arguing, but you know how a parent would sometimes get into an argument with their kid and their kid would keep badgering them with seemingly logical questions and at the end of the day the parent could only say in frustration, "Someday when you're a parent yourself you'll understand"?

In this case, I can only tell you that maybe someday when you're a woman yourself you'll understand. Except you'll never be a woman, and given your current age I'll doubt anything will ever change your mind. So congrats on being born with a Y chromosome and being a stereotypically manly man - by which I mean you probably lack empathy for anyone who isn't a white man, think it's cool to completely disregard human emotions in favor of "logic," and retain mostly Republican values except when it comes to sex and God.

So go ahead, bro. Rejoice, keep it real, and party like it's 1999 - that's one privilege you definitely have as a man.



> I am a little surprised that a lot of girls think that going to a strip club once or twice a year is ok, though.


Sometimes you make sacrifices. Or if you can't beat them, you join them.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

rednosereindeer said:


> *It is absurd to you because you're a (heterosexual) man* - the world revolves around you and *you won't ever have to see it from a woman's POV* except maybe if you're related to her and sometimes even then.


 It's funny you should say that because I'm actually a bisexual man.

As far as the world revolving around me, well, yeah. It does to some extent. I admit that I'm selfish. Maybe it's a flaw but it's kept me relatively unencumbered.

Unfortunately, my inquiry has been interpreted as having been about myself, which it really wasn't. Or I should say that I think people have interpreted it as me being upset that women might find me less attractive because of my proclivity for sexual entertainment. That would actually be the least of my worries if I was interested in a relationship or even a date. I'm not physically attractive and I know it.

I was only using my own life experience as a male as reference. I haven't set foot inside a strip joint since 1990. But that is only really because I couldn't afford it and my SA prevents me from going to a lot of places I might otherwise go. I do like porn and am not ashamed of it. And frankly, I don't care what women think of me because I'm not interested in a relationship with anyone (male or female).

I was just curious as to why it's such a huge deal to some women (I realize some women are different). I tried to put it as delicately as I could because I knew this could be a sensitive topic. But sometimes there's really just no way to say something or to ask certain questions without offending _someone._



> In this case, I can only tell you that maybe someday when you're a woman yourself you'll understand. Except you'll never be a woman, and given your current age I'll doubt anything will ever change your mind. So congrats on being born with a Y chromosome and being a stereotypically manly man


 Actually, I've been known to crossdress a few times in my time. In fact, if it hadn't been for my SA and I would have had the money, I might have been a full transexual. No. I won't ever be a woman. Unfortunately. These things aren't up to us.


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## Nameless Someone (Oct 21, 2010)

RayOfLight123 said:


> I wouldn't mind..only if I could go with him aswell!


Same here :clap I really want to go to a strip club...


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

rednosereindeer said:


> It is absurd to you because you're a (heterosexual) man - the world revolves around you and you won't ever have to see it from a woman's POV except maybe if you're related to her and sometimes even then.
> 
> I would continue arguing, but you know how a parent would sometimes get into an argument with their kid and their kid would keep badgering them with seemingly logical questions and at the end of the day the parent could only say in frustration, "Someday when you're a parent yourself you'll understand"?
> 
> ...


I've got it all going for me then. I'm white. I'm male. I'm heterosexual. I'm 53. I value logic. That seems to be all you need to know about me.

Could you please consider that some of us fit all or many of those descriptors, and when you place them in such a negative context, you're doing the very thing you assume middle aged white men have cornered the market on doing?

I actually tend to agree with your point, and you're only one example of many people who make these sorts of comments. I just object to them, and your post was an opportunity for me to respond.


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