# Anxiety when saying goodbye to people



## 40watta (Oct 12, 2008)

Does anyone have anxiety when saying goodbye after meeting or talking with new people? Its really weird, the whole interaction could have been fine but when departing, the other person might be smiling or something, and my face will just freeze up and I wont know what to say

Ive been thinking, maybe its due to low self-steem or thinking that they won't want to see me again or they think poorly of me. Im clueless on this one. Its even worse when its a person of the opposite sex.


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## miminka (May 10, 2009)

I have this to a T. I'm so nervous saying goodbye to people. If I'm part of a crowd that's leaving, I'm alright chiming "Bye!" in with everybody else. When I know I'm going to have to say goodbye, I just stand there nervously, shifting from foot to foot, wondering how I should go about saying it. 

The worst part is when you have to say goodbye to distantly related family. Then you don't know whether they're expecting a hug, or a kiss, or if they're going to think it's weird that you hugged them...

All the thoughts that run through my mind over such a simple thing like saying goodbye.


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## gregt (Jul 15, 2009)

I don't like saying goodbye to anyone. It's a single moment when the other person's attention is focused directly on me, and that intimacy is very uncomfortable. It's multiplied when saying goodbye to a group or room full of people. I nearly always prefer to sneak out unnoticed (even when I know doing so will damage my relationship with those people). Usually, when I'm forced to, I can make myself smile and say the right things, but I avoid it whenever possible.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

This happened yesterday after my doctor's appointment. I didn't say bye or anything. I always struggle getting the timing right. This time I left it too late.


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## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

I do sometimes get this problem. There are occasions when I'll be having an msn chat or a telephone conversation with someone - but if it reaches the point where I'm feeling tired or just feel as if I'm not up to holding much of a conversation then I'll tend to feel as if I want to end the conversation but get worried that if I'm too honest with the person then it'll come across as rude. As a result I've let conversations continue on for longer than I really felt happy with, because of struggling to find the right kinds of words to say which aren't likely to cause offence. I felt especially bad the other day because something like that happened with a friend. We'd been talking online, but I hadn't been intending to stay on for much longer when suddenly his internet connection went dead and he ended up phoning me at home. At the time I wasn't really feeling up to having a telephone conversation as was tired. But I didn't want to be rude so talked to him for some time. However, there did come a point in the conversation where I started to feel a bit uncomfortable (on top of feeling tired) because there started to be big pauses as he started to talk less and less as time went on. I kept thinking that at any moment he would say goodbye first, as it seemed to me by then he'd run out of conversation. But it didn't happen. The silences kept continuing. It soon occured to me that he must be expecting me to hold up my end of the conversation more. But by that point I really couldn't think of much to talk about and started to feel uncomfortable. Though I know on his part that wasn't intentional. In the end I ended up blurting out I had to use the bathroom as at the time couldn't think of what else to tell him. I felt really silly after putting the phone down after.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I never know how to say goodbye. I'm never sure if it's time i leave or if i should stay longer. But no matter what i'm always glad to leave :lol


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## zookeeper (Jun 3, 2009)

I don't find it too bad usually if it's just me and one other person, we say bye and leave. But if there's two others then it gets bad, because most likely they've been talking and I've just been standing there like a weirdo not saying anything. In groups, I try to sneak away without saying goodbye whenever possible because I find it so awkward. At work, I'll pretend I'm doing something until as many people as possible are busy, then I rush for the door and yell "bye!" as I'm going through it.


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## Pelicanbay (Jun 30, 2009)

not me but i know this one girl who i talk to alot, we can talk for a long time but when its time to go she's very sudden about it and almost comes off as rude, especially when she gets another call on the other line...i dont take offense to it anymore but it is still annoying sometimes

like i will be going in depth with something and she'll just suddenly say "hey i got a call, i have to go"...me..."ok wtf lol talk to you later then"...her "bye" and thats it, i just find it funny how she can be so talkative and hilarious at the same time then just gets cold feet when she has to say bye, she also has a hard time looking you right in the eyes


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## GirlInABox (Jan 1, 2009)

I actually have anxiety about saying goodbye to people I know but don't see very often at family get togethers. I remember a time recently that I did manage to say it, and I wasn't even acknowledged by my cousin's wife. She either didn't hear me or simply overlooked me...well ignored me as I negatively observed it. I have no idea why, I know hugs tend to come with the goodbyes and I can't say I'm all that comfortable with doing that. I just know I do tend to sneak away and avoid saying goodbye to relatives.


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

I have this problem, particularly with a group that includes people I don't know... saying hello to them is not any easier...


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## zookeeper (Jun 3, 2009)

tvgirl48 said:


> I wish there was a greeting/goodbye that would be in between a hug and a handshake. A handshake seems so formal, like I just ended a business meeting with some colleagues. But a hug seems so intimate to me, especially if it's someone of the opposite sex.


Try the "Bro Hug." You get the best if both worlds!
















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