# social anxiety is curable



## 90%SAfree (Oct 8, 2009)

I just started spring semester at uni and Im feeling more confident and talking to more people than ever using cbt and putting myself out there. I feel that as if my SA is barely even there. Anyways im posting this to help people who are ready to overcome their SA. I think the most important part is repetition so you can become comfortable with the same situations. I like to use my example of talking to a girl. The first time I talked to her I felt horrible and blushed but everything was ok, the second time I was still a little nervous and flustered but everything turned out ok, the third time I was even a little excited and I even flirted and everything turned out ok, by my fourth time I was no longer nervous at all and I could enjoy myself without worrying about what could go wrong with her and now I talk to her on a daily basis without any SA showing up. I remind myself of this example to know that everything will just get better the more I do it and that repetition is the key to changing the way your brain interprets things. The first step is the hardest but it is worth it in the end.


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## Atari82 (Jan 19, 2010)

thats cool and I understand it. but i tend to have a HECK of a hard time even starting, I know that once I start and keep on going and not giving up (Signature :yes) i can overcome this stupid fear.


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## Miss Meggie (Nov 19, 2009)

I too have been working with CBT. I just "officially" started on Tuesday, working on my planned exposures.
I've been writing a blog about it here on SAS to share my progress with others in the hopes of a) getting support and encouragement, b) maybe "inspiring" some others, and c) holding myself accountable (i.e. I say I'm going to do something in my blog, so I feel that I should do it so I don't have to post that "I was too nervous, so I ended up not going into the store.").


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## fictionz (Nov 18, 2006)

Miss Meggie said:


> I too have been working with CBT. I just "officially" started on Tuesday, working on my planned exposures.
> I've been writing a blog about it here on SAS to share my progress with others in the hopes of a) getting support and encouragement, b) maybe "inspiring" some others, and c) holding myself accountable (i.e. I say I'm going to do something in my blog, so I feel that I should do it so I don't have to post that "I was too nervous, so I ended up not going into the store.").


It's great that you're writing about it, hope you keep doing that, I'm sure it can be inspiring and that you can get better feedback from others too. :yes


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## fictionz (Nov 18, 2006)

ar2112 said:


> I just started spring semester at uni and Im feeling more confident and talking to more people than ever using cbt and putting myself out there. I feel that as if my SA is barely even there. Anyways im posting this to help people who are ready to overcome their SA. I think the most important part is repetition so you can become comfortable with the same situations. I like to use my example of talking to a girl. The first time I talked to her I felt horrible and blushed but everything was ok, the second time I was still a little nervous and flustered but everything turned out ok, the third time I was even a little excited and I even flirted and everything turned out ok, by my fourth time I was no longer nervous at all and I could enjoy myself without worrying about what could go wrong with her and now I talk to her on a daily basis without any SA showing up. I remind myself of this example to know that everything will just get better the more I do it and that repetition is the key to changing the way your brain interprets things. The first step is the hardest but it is worth it in the end.


That must be great! I hope when my uni starts I could do something like that too, like be a renewed person than I am before. Just keep going at it to get through our SA!


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## 90%SAfree (Oct 8, 2009)

Atari82 said:


> thats cool and I understand it. but i tend to have a HECK of a hard time even starting, I know that once I start and keep on going and not giving up (Signature :yes) i can overcome this stupid fear.


Yea starting and not giving up is the hard part but the results are way worth it and I belive you can do it


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

It is all in the exposure and thought training :yes.
Great job! :boogie :boogie :boogie


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## fallingdownonmyface (Dec 3, 2006)

The first steps may be hard...believe me I took them, but there is so much after that you'll have to put work into before which may seem overwhelming to you as it does to me.


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## ThingIwanteD (May 27, 2010)

so you can cure anxiety just to talk to alots of girls?


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## ju_pa (Sep 21, 2008)

Repetition, repetition and repetition. With this you can even change your personality. Come from poor to riches and from anxiety to confidence. This is what happens to a brain when something is done the first time and then repeated:

When something new happens (you see something "visual", you talk to something (social) etc.) brain makes new neurons and connect the new with the old. 
Here's a pic of neuronal connection for better understanding:









Now imagine this in millions. This is what you get when you learn new things. After you have made your first connect these things have appeared and made a connection with other millions of already existing neurons and will stay connected for some time. Now if you repeat it (the new experience you had in life) these neuronal connections (synapses) strengthen and become stronger. That's why repetition does work and shows benefits.

I hope nobody doesn't mind of showing how it works when you socialize with someone. But remember to "let it go" when something goes wrong. It's the easiest to let it go just after when something went bad as the neuronal connections work more effectively when emotions are in play. When something goes bad for me I usually think that it happens. I'm gonna find someone else to talk to. She might have had a bad day or she just eats crap and acts crap.

But for some people, making new connections doesn't works so well as to others. Feels like you are still afraid after several times or can't even get started. In this case you have to start with your own body and that is about what you eat. I am strongly emphasizing connection between food and anxiety, fears. Food can be a little tricky. But to get fast results and get you started, drop all foods with taste enhancer (it's called monosodium glutamate. There's a research of indicating strong connection between glutamate and socialanxiety). All grains because they are high in free glutamate. Only raw dairy and no soy!

I am also against all kinds of chemicals in foods. I haven't read about them like I have about glutamate but you never know what whacks you out and makes your life miserable in some way..

Rest comes later as you start to notice changes in your body and thinking. Then it's up to you to make new neuronal connection with socializing, hehe!


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

nice job in your improvement but i would like to say that is does not start in repetition alone, it starts in the mind first and then reception is followed. if it was as easy as doing it over and over again everyone would be cured of SA by now since everyone goes through the same repetitions over and over again and feel the same thing. 

lets say a SA sufferer fears to go to the store. the SA sufferer knows that cus he/she’s been to the store a lot of times and knows how it feels to be in the store (repetition)... so no matter how many times the SA sufferer goes to the store he/she is going to feel the same way UNLESS the SA sufferer changes the mentality going there. this is KEY. someone/something has to change that ‘beginning’ before going to the store and the end result will be different as the beginning was. positive beginning equals positive result. positive beginning = change. change = hope. hope = no SA. 

so repetition is not the answer alone, there has to be some positive reasoning with the beginning and end result. i mean, if the beginning feeling is the same or if the end result is the same to the sufferer all the time, how can the sufferer see the other side?... the side where there’s hope. the side that says “sh!t, it is not that bad after all”. so it all begins in one starting to think positive and by ending in a positive. 

lets say two people are playing poker. after 8 games one keeps winning and the other loosing. why would the one loosing keep playing the same person if he keeps on loosing? he would get in his mind, eventually, that he will loose the next hand. now, what if he was to win at least 3-8, then he would know that he can win and will continue to play the game hoping to win the next round. therefore, not loosing all hope.

same with SA. a SA sufferer is loosing 0-8, so, unless the sufferer wins at least one (1-8 ), the SA sufferer will continue to think negative. now, if the SA sufferer begins to change this negative mentality and grow. next he will be 2-8, 4-8, 7-8, etc... till the sufferer gets 'with the program’ (over comes SA). 

the question is what is stopping the SA sufferer in the mind from getting past the fear? this, of course, depends on the SA sufferers roots. for each person the root is different. and this is key so the SA can start thinking positive. 

not every SA sufferer has SA cus of the same past. 

i have the answer in my mind but i cannot put it in words, ah well. all i can say is if one person can learn how to drive so can everyone. 

nice work though that CBT is helping you, but i know that repetition alone is not the answer. a fat kid getting bullied for being fat is not going to change if the fat kid keeps on facing the same people he gets teased by (repetition) unless the kid grows some balls and defends himself (change in mind).


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## ThingIwanteD (May 27, 2010)

so basically learn your limited belief and get rid of it though mass actions that " proves your belief isnt true " ?


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## EYB (Jun 20, 2010)

I agree repetition is part of the story but not all- it is about finding those beliefs which keep the behaviour in place- and along side that, it's also about understanding how your thoughts can be changed in two ways.

The first way is through exposure therapy where because you can talk to others the belief that you can't talk to others is blown out

The second way is to change the belief first and the behaviour follows.

I like the second way becaue for me I would always twist a situation to suit my beliefs about me and other people in it- but when you identify that one of your beliefs is that other people will laugh at me and change that first- then even if other people laugh you won't notice it.

But if you haven't changed the belief and other people do laugh you will still feel the sting even though you can cope with it much better because you've put yourself in that situation for a while. If you get my meaning. 

I found exposure therapy really difficult and cringe worthy- but changing my beliefs first that made all the difference. 

So for those of you where exposure therapy doesn't seem to be working try changing the belief first and see what happens.


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## TheVigil1 (May 24, 2010)

Congratz! Keep up the good work!


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## 90%SAfree (Oct 8, 2009)

EYB said:


> I agree repetition is part of the story but not all- it is about finding those beliefs which keep the behaviour in place- and along side that, it's also about understanding how your thoughts can be changed in two ways.
> 
> The first way is through exposure therapy where because you can talk to others the belief that you can't talk to others is blown out
> 
> ...


I completely agree with this too. Changing your beliefs and how you think will help a lot with exposure therapy


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

Nice post O.P.
I agree with everything u say.
Exposure is THE thing. =)
Glad to see you're doing well also.


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## catalinahx (Jun 8, 2010)

ar2112 said:


> I think the most important part is repetition so you can become comfortable with the same situations.


This this this. This is exactly what has made it bearable for me to eat out in a few select restaurants. Repeated visits. The hardest part is getting past the initial new feel of doing something new. I hope that made sense.... lol


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## mebe87 (Feb 11, 2010)

i dont see how planned exposures work.... i joined the Marine Corps where i was exposed to every social situation imaginable.... im still a mess when it comes to social situations


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## MrBBB (Jun 6, 2010)

It is good to know that CBT is working for somebody in the social anxiety area. I started a CBT program recently myself, and was hoping it would help for this too.


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## Himi Jendrix (Mar 24, 2010)

Good to see that SA is curable. Now patent it and sell it for billions. 

Anywhoo, exposure and sheer determination to live and fight everyday is what cures anxiety. Its a constant battle that never really ends so in a way its not cured, but rather in a status of remission.


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## AndyLT (Oct 8, 2007)

mrfixit said:


> but i know that repetition alone is not the answer


Positive/realistic thoughts also need repetition to reach deep emotional layers of our brains.


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## penguins13 (Jul 13, 2010)

This gives me some confidence! I wonder if it will be enough for my skool startin next month....


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## Fireflylight (Sep 2, 2004)

This thread gives me confidence too! I feel motivated.


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