# saying hello to strangers



## battle (May 22, 2005)

I'm doing CBT and I'm working on saying 'hello' to strangers. Boy this is difficult, especially with women (I'm a man).. I'm scared to death to do it. I feel completely blocked most of the time. And I feel pressure from my detested therapists...but forget about them, it's for my own sake. does anyone know a trick? Thanks!


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## ghostgurl (Sep 20, 2004)

I have to do the same thing you do for my therapy. I think it's best if you have a plan if things don't work out the way you like them to. Like if they don't say hi back you can keep on talking and say how are you and maybe they'll say something back. Or if they say something negative, have something to hit back at them with. In which case you could check out my comeback thread in the positive thinking section. It helps to have a plan because then you'll feel at least a little more in control.


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## socialanxiety38 (Nov 19, 2004)

Strangers don't bother me. Its the people I know that throw my SA overboard.


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## SunLite (Jan 4, 2005)

The trick is to do it consistently and constantly so it can go into your unconscious mind and become natural. Of course some people start off just making eye contact and smiling it all depends where you are at. 

Overcoming fear there is two ways to do it. One way is to increase your resistance to fear by doing what your doing...small goals over and over again. Another is to change your beliefs to eliminate the fear in your head. Both help but changing your beliefs is by far harder.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

> The trick is to do it consistently and constantly so it can go into your unconscious mind and become natural. Of course some people start off just making eye contact and smiling it all depends where you are at.
> 
> Overcoming fear there is two ways to do it. One way is to increase your resistance to fear by doing what your doing...small goals over and over again. Another is to change your beliefs to eliminate the fear in your head. Both help but changing your beliefs is by far harder.


 :agree


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## Guest (Apr 9, 2006)

I'd say look for friendly people to say hi to first until it becomes easier for you. I tried this exercise once but I thought it would be a good idea to start at walmart.....big mistake. Go to a library, school. church or someplace where people will be receptive to greetings. Don't go into stores initially. Start with older folks and work your way down to girls with the momentum you gain fom each hi. If you need more warmup to the hi's ask somebody if they have the time? (take your watch off first, lol)

You'd be surprised how powerful it is to make another person happy or nervous (the only 2 emotions I encountered) when doing this exercise. Girls are usually moe receptive to the greetings, they love this kind of stuff. The least receptive are guys with egos, and parents with their kids.


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## battle (May 22, 2005)

It is a long time ago since I started this thread, ops but I'd like to say a heartfelt thank you to all the posters especially SunLite and Push it.


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## IllusionOfHappiness (Sep 6, 2007)

*Re:*



socialanxiety38 said:


> Strangers don't bother me. Its the people I know that throw my SA overboard.


I seem to have the same problem sometimes.

I'm in therapy again tomorrow, but I've been doing the 'greeting strangers' thing for about a month or so. Doesn't seem that hard for me, so I guess I can move on to another step.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

I usually say hello to strangers when I am about to potential interact with them, so I personally don't know.

But good luck with the continual goal though, battle.

Best wishes,
Gerard


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