# How do I make friends in University dorms?



## cmp4120 (Jan 7, 2012)

I am currently in my second semester of University, and its my second term living in the same dorm. My first term I made a couple friends, some ended up being quite annoying, just complaining about anything and everything, and my one closest friend I made doesn't always seem to want me around. I want to make new friends, but I'm a really shy person and don't really know how. I came from a small town where everyone was familiar with everyone, and I don't know what to do.

I'm a first year student, and the hallway on the floor I live in is mostly second years which make me feel intimidated. I also find it somewhat hard to start making friends now, because so many links are already created within the rest of my floor and I would find it weird to just start hanging out in the lounge, since I rarely went in there first term.. 

Can someone give me some advice and pointers please?


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## cavemanslaststand (Jan 6, 2011)

Approach it like an objective business with your shelfish profit in mind. You only have about 4 short years to complete your degree, so people you "hire" to be friends have to support your mission.

1. Define friendship goals and objectives.
2. Define friendship roles and responsibilities and head-count needed.
Example friendship vacancy positions:
http://www.thinkoutsidein.com/blog/2010/04/eight-types-of-friendship/
3. Interview and grade people for said roles.
4. Define friendship packages you can offer.
5. Measure output and grade people's friendship performance in said roles.
6. Define termination and exit strategies when you have to cut your loses.


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## pbandjam (Sep 24, 2011)

Everyone's gonna give you the same advice here join clubs do sports blah blah etc. In my experience it's best if you start doing things you don't normally do. For example one of my best friends in college I met first said Hi to me in a bathroom lol. I usually made friends in my classes. When I saw them alone somewhere I'd ask if they were in my class and use that as a starting point for conversation.


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## silver moon (Jan 8, 2012)

Most universities will have an organisation (most likely run by the students union) to help students that aren't making friends as well as others settle in. I'd suggest the first step would be to go to your students union and/or student support service and ask what they can offer. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Oh and hey, well done for doing so well so far  I admire you for that and so should you!


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