# Have you ever been in a relationship?



## Jimbow1995 (Jul 27, 2010)

And if so what was is it like?

If you have not been in one would you like to have one?

Personally I haven't, but I really am looking and trying hard to find one hoping it will give me a feeling of being appreicated and loved. Does anyone have any tips about finding or talking to girls? ( I'm in last year of school, soon to move to college)


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

The longest, I dated for a few months and that's about it. All the girls weren't compatible with me, lets just say that. There are 6 trillion reasons why things don't work out and only a select few reasons of why they do it appears. So many factors that play into it that I don't find myself the least bit odd anymore for not having a successful one. It don't bother me anymore because I'm not killing myself to make it happen anymore.

As far as meeting a girl, just be yourself and when the feeling/time comes to ask her out or get her number, do it! The rest is history they say . Relationships are definitely a two-way deal. One person can't make it work happily if the other isn't willing to try, so a lot of what happens is out of your control.


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## Recipe For Disaster (Jun 8, 2010)

i haven't.


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## Narcissus (Aug 28, 2007)

Trying, possibly heading in the right path.


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## wjc75225 (Jul 24, 2010)

I've been in one relationship, and I've dated some. The girl I had a relationship with was for 5 months, and it ended up that she was engaged to a guy in the Navy WHILE dating me, so I broke up with her.


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## DyingInTheOutside (Sep 26, 2010)

Been in one two month "thing", I don't know if it reached relationship status


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Jimbow1995 said:


> And if so what was is it like?


They were stressful and I often felt more lonely than when single. I put up with mistreatment and mostly didn't know any better. The sex and intimacy were poor. One bullied me. All but two had little interest in my company. Only a couple made me feel appreciated and loved, but they didn't work out. I was generous in many ways, including with gifts, but had little money and one was so rude and ungrateful. This same one kept blowing hot and cold on me. Inconsistency devastates me.

The positives were the learning and experiences, and access to their wider social networks and activities. However, there's always anticipatory anxiety present because the loss of one person (the partner) means losing access to everything else and risking ending up back at home, stuck with family. That was my greatest fear and breakups in my 20s were more painful due to that reason than any loss of intimacy.



Jimbow1995 said:


> Does anyone have any tips about finding or talking to girls? ( I'm in last year of school, soon to move to college)


I didn't find out until my 30s that people often initiate after exchanging eye contact. I used to avoid people's gazes and probably lost many opportunities that way. If stuck for initiating conversation, there are various tips you can read about.

Once you're getting to know someone, ensure you have good boundaries, i.e., don't behave like a doormat or be too dependent on them. With practise, you come to recognise patterns in what works for you. Good signs include they make you feel quite comfortable and secure about being yourself, they are consistent, supportive, and actually show interest in you and your company.


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## benyamin (May 11, 2010)

no


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

*hmm*

"Personally I haven't, but I really am looking and trying hard to find one *hoping it will give me a feeling of being appreicated and loved.* Does anyone have any tips about finding or talking to girls? ( I'm in last year of school, soon to move to college) "

The bold bit is one of the most dangerous things ever. You're searching not for a relationship but for validation of the self. Which means rejection has the power to really do a number on you.

Pull back a moment on this search and really talk to yourself about this. Yes, a relationship can help you feel loved and appreciated. But, as has been pointed out, it could leave you without those feelings too. To say nothing of dependency, addictions and all the rest of stuff that could come about from searching for love and appreciation of the self outside the self.

Trust me on this one. I know. I ripped myself apart for the best part of a decade doing the same thing.

The good news is, get those feelings of being loved and appreciated internally and from more healthy sources and you increase your attractiveness anyway which would make finding someone right for you slightly easier. So there really is an insentive here to not do this on a destructive footing but to take stock and unite the self as best as you can so that all of the self is looking for a good person to be in your life.


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

Have... NOT.

I used to, but now I'm not so sure I will be able to be in one, or whether I'm "supposed" to be in one...


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## orchdorch925 (Aug 26, 2010)

I've really only ever been in one relationship and that was with my best guy friend. It was nice, having someone to talk to, to depend on, and all that touchy feely stuff. Our relationship ended because he was in Oregon and I was in Arizona and, as weird as this may sound, we had too much in common. It was like dating myself, which was annoying because we had the same bad habits.


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## stranger25 (Apr 29, 2010)

Never =(


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## MBL (Oct 5, 2010)

I been in a few. About 5 serious ones.

The longest was almost 2 years I guess before it fizzled out.

The best one was a girl I met on the net from Texas who called me one night at 4 am saying she wanted to meet me and stuff. within a few weeks she flew up (to Canada) and moved in with me for a while. Not long enough though... It was awesome while it lasted. Something personal came up and ended it, but it was among the happiest days of my life, I want a relationship that good again...


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## kiirby (Oct 8, 2010)

Nothing real. I only want one to feel a connection with someone, and for the validation, I guess. Most people my age tend to pursue them solely for the sex. I guess I just kind of realised that it's an added benefit rather than the ultimate goal.


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## AK32 (Sep 2, 2010)

I've never been in a real relationship. But yes I would love to have a relationship, getting married having kids. I want all of that.


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## lde22 (Oct 19, 2009)

I had three girlfriends in middle school. Each of them lasted for about a week. Since then I haven't had any luck whatsoever with girls and now I'm 23. And yes I am desperate to get a girlfriend.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Sorry don't mean to rub it in by posting in this thread.
Yes. I dated 8 guys. In those 8 guys, 3 of them have been boyfriends including my current boyfriend. The other 2 are ex-boyfriends.


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## LatchKeyKid (Jul 30, 2010)

No. I've had a few dates that came to nothing. I also had one brief, ambiguous fling a few years ago which came close to relationship status. 

I feel like I've been missing out on a major aspect of life.


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## mjatte (Feb 10, 2007)

No.

Yes. I want one.



LatchKeyKid said:


> I feel like I've been missing out on a major aspect of life.


we are. no denying that. That's why its as painful as it is.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

I want children. To work in the yard and mow the damn lawn. I want a woman for the sex.

Actually, yeah, that's about right - the American dream.


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

Nope. But I'm not too depressed about it. I'm not really interested in that stuff atm.


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## Georgina 22 (Jan 4, 2009)

Currently in one


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

Once, but it was the fake "2-3 week" kind in high school. :[


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## solasum (Nov 17, 2008)

Had a couple of those fake relationships in middle school, but it wasn't until recently that I had anything resembling one. This one isn't going to last, though, as our personalities are too different. Admittedly, it is really nice in many ways having someone to cuddle with, and do things with. Being in a relationship, even though it's not the right one, makes me feel... secure.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

im a sad lonely man


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

No, never been in one. And at this point, starting to believe that I never will.


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## artistgyrrl (Oct 26, 2010)

I've had a lot of relationships but they always have to approach me, or I meet them online first. I also am very upfront about being a "social spazz" as I call it.


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## framlingen (Oct 7, 2010)

I've been in a relationship for nearly 6 years. We used to live near eachother but now it is more long distance which is difficult. My friends at the time got me his online address and we got to know each other that way and then started to meet up.


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## plastics (Apr 11, 2010)

I've only been in one. We met online pretty much, even though we went to school together. We have been together for 4 years. He's a great guy, but it's pretty boring usually to be honest. I can't talk initiate conversation with guys usually, so they would have to talk to me. I think there have only been about 3 or 4 guys who were ever interested in me, and usually I didn't like them back so yeah..


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## Wrangler (Oct 3, 2010)

Yeah, I've had a few mini relationships and one that was quite serious. However I'm very glad I'm not in one right now.

I'm enjoying being able to be completely self-centered and working on myself..lol


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## bluem00n33 (Jul 30, 2008)

I've been in three very short relationships, like less than two months. They all seemed to lose interest in me after a while.


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## Ironpain (Aug 8, 2010)

For the first time in my life I feel truly appreciated and valued, having a girlfriend does not make my problems go away but I have someone I can talk to and who doesn't have grand expectations of me, I don't have someone excepting me to be the perfect boyfriend, she values me for who I am and I love that, she understands me better then almost anyone I know, I use to have to have the mind set that it could never and would never happen for me and that I was unworthy of having anyone care about me but I have someone who accepts me and I accept her flaws and all. 

The relationship didn't happen the way you might imagine it wasn't like I went out and struck up a conversation with some girl and whamo bamo there she's in my bed or we're having some kind of deep life convo, no our meeting was actually pretty Ironic, it was to be more then meets the eye, I think I was meant to save her in a twist of fate, so later on she could save mine by being a part of it and giving me the strength in times when I truly felt alone. 

Thank you L.T. for accepting me and for all that you are and continue to be to me.


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## Kelsea N (Nov 5, 2010)

i'm not sure how to answer this question, i mean i'm pretty sure i haven't, yet if i told you the whole story it would sure sound like one. it was the beginning of my freshman year of college, and i was pretty much a complete shut in. and this guy was like pursuing me, like one of those pathologically charming types. which no one had ever been interested me before, i mean, not really. and after only knowing me for like two weeks he kissed me, which scared the **** out of me, because i had no idea why he would be kissing me, and i hardly knew him, and so i stopped and then we were hanging out a lot and always one on one and he'd always say things that seemed more than friends-y and i think he even wanted to sleep with me this one time, but i was just being argumentative and mean and just killed the mood or something. oh, and there was the whole fact that i actually kept muttering "i don't want people thinking i slept with you" when we were cuddling (such an awkward activity...btw, i'm not awful with words, i was just high and rambling. but i was always having to help him out of bad situations and he was moody and arrogant and always getting stoned. so after enough of him being terrible and ambiguous (this was like three months post kiss) i told him that while i really liked him it was difficult for me to keep doing what we were doing, because i basically hated him. and that's when he said that we'd been over it before and we were just friends and he couldn't help it if he was an extremely sexual person, and that he was sorry that i had mistook so much of what happened, and he only kissed me because he felt sorry for me and felt sorry for himself and just wanted someone.
okay i lied, that sounds nothing like a relationship.
but what really bothers me is that before this i was never interested in being in a relationship, it was actually something i loathed and feared (thanks mom and dad) but ever since it's been something i really wanted. it's been a year since this guy and i fake broke up (we've never talked since, he got his life all straightened out and avoids me whenever he sees me in passing) and in this whole time i haven't even been on a date or had a random hookup or anything, which is a bummer. but what really gets me is sometimes it just pops in my head that the only guy who i thought ever liked me didn't, he just pitied me. which makes me feel incapable of being loved.i mean my mom loves me, but other than that..


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## 2Talkative (Nov 1, 2007)

Mercurochrome said:


> I want children. To work in the yard and mow the damn lawn. I want a woman for the sex.
> 
> Actually, yeah, that's about right - the American dream.


Adoption and Prostitution should be an obtainable goal if your original American dream fails.


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

I've been in a couple. One was a long-distance relationship when I was 18 with someone I met online and didn't have much in common with. I'm not really sure how it got as far as it did, and I got over it pretty quickly. 

The other one was four years ago. I wish the circumstances were different, but there's an awful lot that I miss about it. It was really, really nice, probably the best thing that's every happened to me. Luckily that person is still in my life as my best friend, though I still haven't completely let go of my feelings, and I'm not sure I ever will. Not sure how I'm ever going to be in a serious relationship again as long as that's the case.


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## kiirby (Oct 8, 2010)

Ah, no more bumping this thread. It makes me sad.


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## PerfectStrangersx (Mar 8, 2010)

Yes and it wasn't good, the less said about it the better.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

No. I don't even care. Relationships would cause me trouble that I don't need.


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## Colhad75 (Dec 14, 2009)

I've never been in a relationship and it stresses me big time. I have never had a girlfriend, I often ask myself am I ugly or too stupid to have a girlfriend. I'm 35 and my prospects aren't looking good but I hope someone comes along soon. 

I personally stress over the fact that I haven't experienced "being" with a girl if you catch my drift. It's a topic that is hard to talk about without offending people, like when a man and a woman get together.


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## this portrait (Jul 18, 2009)

I've dated before, but I'm in my first ever relationship now. I'm pretty sure it's normal; we have our highs and lows, and we've been good about confronting each other about things. There are times when I'm a major worry factory, though, thinking that I've said or done something to upset my b/f (even though I usually haven't).


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## IllusionOfHappiness (Sep 6, 2007)

I would consider this my first real relationship. It's long distance, but we see each other and I think we are doing just fine, given the givens.


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## Xtina_Xposed (Sep 10, 2007)

I thought i was in one, but later found out I wasn't... I know sounds strange. We were really just friends.. Oh well.. :-/


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