# Importance of Sexual Experience?



## MoniqueS (Feb 21, 2011)

I was hoping to anonymously use your answers on my blog. But my question, open to both guy and girls, is how important is the sexual experience level of your girlfriend or boyfriend to you? Furthermore, I know some guys like the idea of dating a virgin, but others prefer someone who is more experienced. So I'm just wondering how important that is to people. 

I also know we have a lot of virgins on here too, so would you prefer dating another virgin or would you like someone with more experience?

In my situation, I've only had sex three times in my life. I do have some issues though with a social anxiety disorder and a poor body image. But I do often wonder if my sexual inexperience makes me less or more appealing to certain guys. So any insight on your preferences or experiences would be interesting to read!


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## Nessy (Mar 3, 2011)

I'm a virgin but think about the situation like this: if I dated a virgin things would probably go very slow and be more awkward. If I dated a girl who has some experience she would probably be less tentative and more confident when it comes to being physical. 

Though it of course comes down to personality-types, if she is a virgin and very aggressive/forward you will have an easier time then if she has some experience but is really shy. 

I dated a girl recently (my first gf and first kiss, same for her) and things went extremly slow and we were both very tentative, didnt go further then a little bit kissing after 2 months of being together. 

Next time I hope the girl I end up having as a girlfriend got some experience and isnt afraid of showing what she wants. It can be really stressful to get mixed or no signs of what a girl is comfortable with when you have little to no experience yourself.

So that is my rant, dont know if you got an answer ;P


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## buklti (Jul 23, 2010)

A lot of guys I know, will not have sex with virgins. I have not been with a virgin before, but if I found out the girl im seeing is one, it wouldnt bother me.


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## BKrakow (Jul 8, 2010)

I'm fairly experienced, and a guy's level of experience doesn't really matter to me. unless he's got insecurities about it that he needs to deal with, or brags about past conquests to me, or is diseased lol, then I really don't care. I've gone for virgins and guys with lots of experience; I find both to be attractive in different ways.


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## theseshackles (Apr 23, 2011)

Preferably a girl who has had less than 5 sex partners, or has had sex 5 - 10 times. If she's had sex more than 10 times, then preferably with one partner (a boyfriend).

Virgin sex sucks. Rather not have it again. With enough experience the sex will be much better.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

I would want a partner that is experienced. Though obviously, is not a *****. Although, since I want a girlfriend, I wouldn't mind if we were experimenting together. I would find that romantic.


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## Vip3r (Dec 7, 2010)

I am a virgin and would prefer someone with the same or a little more sexual experience. I think though if someone was very experienced I might feel a little intimidated and very nervous about that.


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## add2list (Nov 10, 2010)

Level of experience isn't as important to me as attitude. It doesn't matter how many previous partners someone's had, I'm more interested that they're sex-positive, and we're able to talk about what we want and don't want. Communication and a lack of shame is important.


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## crsohr (Dec 30, 2010)

Not a virgin myself but in a lot of ways I would prefer a virgin or someone who has had few partners. I say this because I'd like to try something that I've never done before and want to do but I'd only feel comfortable doing it with a woman who hasn't been around the block. Lack of experience would not be a problem, if she wants something a certain way she only has to say. Likewise if I felt that it wasn't going to plan I'd tell her where she's going wrong.


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## OldSchoolSkater (Jun 3, 2011)

I can't speak for every guy, but overall it wouldn't matter to me if I cared about the woman. My instincts would say that I would like a girl with less experience though, so that what we do is more meaningful and new. Sex feels great, but meaningless sex is not what I'm after these days. I'd like to think that the next woman I am with would agree, that it's not necessarily all about the physical pleasure but about the closeness and intimacy of sex that makes it great. But since I used to sleep around I wouldn't hold that against any girl, as long as I knew she was done with that and I was the only one at that point.


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## beethoven (Jan 17, 2011)

For me it has to do with personality type as opposed to having more or less experience. 

I had a girlfriend who was almost a virgin (had had sex only once before) and after trust was established between us, I found out she had a naughty and adventurous personality, she wanted to try everything with me. Needless to say, our chemistry was amazing. 

Later I dated a very experienced girl who was plain and awkward in bed, even after dating for a few months. It was like she didn't enjoy sex that much.


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## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

To put it bluntly, I couldn't give a rat's *** if she was a virgin or not.


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

It's not something that I consider very important. The best part of relationships is getting to know each other (inside and outside of the bedroom!), I think, so someone having little experience is not something I care about in the slightest. I'd be a little put off, to be honest, though, if someone had had a lot of sexual partners before me. The less experience, the better, is my personal preference (but ultimately, of course, all that really matters is how much I like the person as an individual). It may sound a bit selfish, but I don't like the thought of someone having had a string of other lovers before me. Perhaps that's to do with my own insecurities and lack of experience, but I certainly don't consider someone having had a lot of sexual experience as a 'plus'. I'd actually be secretly relieved to find out that they had little/no experience.

I've only ever been in one sexual relationship, to give my own situation. He was a virgin, as was I, when we met. I was glad about the fact that I was his first. Sex improves the more you get to know about what each of you likes, as it's naturally a very intimate and personal thing between two people, so why would I care if someone doesn't have much experience? It's fun to learn together!  I imagine that you could be with a very sexually 'experienced' person and yet the sex could be rubbish, just because you aren't properly tuned into what each of you likes or doesn't like yet. So I don't think sexual experience in that respect is important at all.


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## Tony99 (Jul 27, 2008)

Doesn't play any factor for me either way.


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

I normally have more experience and it doesn't matter. As long as they are linked into what is going on and are open minded to be calm and please me.. I once had sex with a virgin who basically hyperventilated and went soft. Not a good time.


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

It wouldn't bother me if she was inexperienced or a virgin I'd be willing to show her the ropes. Though I've had sex plenty of times, its been quite some time since i last did so I would be a little nervous too the first time. Actually now that I think of it usually i am a bit nervous with a new woman anyway at least until we get some chemistry going.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

The less experience she has, the better. I'm a virgin too, and I don't consider sex to be a casual thing, and I'd want her to feel the same way. And I don't care if the sex is not as good with a virgin; it's not like I'm having so much sex that I would be impatient over a bad sexual experience. Anyway, we would gain experience by doing it with each other. 

I would be unsure about a girl who's had a lot of experience, because it would give me the message that I'm just another in a long line of partners, so what is so special about our relationship? Yeah, this might get me labelled a prude or a misogynist or something, but I don't care. I'd feel the same if I were a girl.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

I'd like someone with similar experience (I'm a virgin), but i wouldn't say no if she has some experience. Preferably not one that sleeps around a lot though.


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## Steve123 (Sep 13, 2009)

I've sort of taken it for grant that if I ever dated anyone they would be more experienced than I am, given my current age and lack of experience. But barring cases where I feel I might be at risk of contracting an std, a partner's experience doesn't really matter to me. Losing my virginity to another virgin might even be pretty interesting, even if very clumsy at the same time :b


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Vip3r said:


> I am a virgin and would prefer someone with the same or a little more sexual experience. I think though if someone was very experienced I might feel a little intimidated and very nervous about that.


Same here.

Although at 28, I can't be choosy, because it's highly unlikely that I will come across a female virgin at my age.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

As long as this person does not talk endlessly of their previous sexual exploits, I really don't care.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

I have never heard of a guy complaining about a woman in the sack. Ever. All my friends are just happy to have a woman to have sex with.

I'm not even sure why men are being questioned about being picky?? A man has two needs for a relationship, sex and companionship. Give him that, and he'll be more than happy.


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

I'm 29. I'm not kidding myself at all...so I'm not expecting another virgin or even someone with limited experience.


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

pita said:


> As long as this person does not talk endlessly of their previous sexual exploits, I really don't care.


I like this answer better than my own.
Hearing about it can get really awkward.. depending lol


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Sexual experience means nothing to me.


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## nmpennea (May 16, 2011)

pita said:


> As long as this person does not talk endlessly of their previous sexual exploits, I really don't care.


That is how I feel.

I have had a guy stop seeing me though, because I was one.


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## zookeeper (Jun 3, 2009)

Experience doesn't matter. Everyone's tastes and desires are different, so it's always about exploring and learning with your partner(s).




Unless their experience involves chlamydia. That might concern me.


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## heyJude (Aug 1, 2009)

I'm not a virgin, but I don't have very much experience. It wouldn't matter to me if the guy I was dating was a virgin or not (but no STD's!!), just as long as he was cool with my lack of experience at my age.


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## pjm1978 (Sep 28, 2009)

Experienced, Non- Experienced, doesnt matter to me. I dont prefer one over the other.


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

so if you're like Steve Carell, should you answer directly if asked by your potential partner?


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I have hardly any experience so I'd like someone that isn't too experienced so I don't feel intimidated and like I don't measure up.


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## Spineshark (Mar 1, 2011)

I don't really care aslong as they are confident sexually which does tend to come from experience but not always.


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## Motionless Sway (May 30, 2011)

I'd just be happy to be with someone, so I don't think I'd really care. 

Sure, if I met someone and she's had sex with dozens of guys, it's a turn off, but the fact that she would want to be with me doesn't really affect the way I would feel about it overall. 

I've been with a couple of women with a lot of experience, and it didn't really matter to me at all. And little experience didn't seem to affect them either. 

Not unless I find her secret notepad one day and find she ranks me a 2/10 in bed...


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

I don't think it matters at all, if you really like or love them you'll still want them regardless I think. But I understand that a lot women would want a man, who knows what he's doing and sexual experience is important to them.


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## Hamtown (Jun 10, 2010)

I don't think i would care, although someone whos also a virgin i imagine it would be awkward at first.


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## OpiodArmor (Jun 15, 2011)

I like how the girl I'm with now is experienced. It makes everything much for comftorable when she takes the lead and showed me what to do. I mean now that I'm getting better at it I do take the lead and **** sometimes, but still, it was nice that she taught/is teaching me everything.

But were really comfy around eachother, like always, so even when were in bed we can still easily talk about what we like + dont like and what we want to be done and how to be done. It's realllllyyyyyy nice. I always hear how some people "can't talk during sex" or don't learn from eachothers reactions and I can't imagine how gay that would be. I'm lucky.


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## PLarry (Apr 2, 2011)

IcemanKilmer said:


> I have never heard of a guy complaining about a woman in the sack. Ever. All my friends are just happy to have a woman to have sex with.


Not my friends. If you suck at the "groove thing" they do complain.

I myself have some sort of psychological issue, or perhaps it is a manner of logic. If a girl is beautiful, but then you find out she has boned somebody, somebody you know, even worse somebody you effin hate, well that just ruins her. It's like what the hell is wrong with you to have slept with that guy? What is this some sh*tty Judd Apatow/Mike Judge film. Jesus.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

From my experience I prefer experience. I've mostly been with people - I'm bi - with little, and when in a relationship with someone much more experienced (in this case female), those aspects were _much_ more satisfying. Maybe it was not causal but coincidence (or due to other causal factors) - the inexperienced I was with long-term didn't improve the experience once they gained it.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

I had done everything except sex with a former boyfriend so I didn't think I would be able to find a man who was a virgin who was interested in me. 

I was wrong. 

My husband had a) never had a girlfriend, b) never kissed a girl c) never even held hands with a girl, d) certainly not had sex, by the time we met. 

I would have been okay with a man who had done about the same amount of fooling around as I did, but I got someone totally inexperienced and I was fine with it, btw the first sex was NOT awkward at all.


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

Metalunatic said:


> To put it bluntly, I couldn't give a rat's *** if she was a virgin or not.


Same here. A guy being a virgin or a bit experienced would not bother me.


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## AK32 (Sep 2, 2010)

If you are with a person you care about, I don't think that alot of expierence matters that much.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

AK32 said:


> If you are with a person you care about, I don't think that alot of expierence matters that much.


I don't know if it's a genuine link, but my ex's who had little experience happened to also be too self conscious and self absorbed, which didn't make for a great bonding experience. It looked like _all _the caring and consideration of the other and their needs was on my side.


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## Midnight Blue (Oct 30, 2010)

I feel that the type of sexual experience is very important.

I believe that sex is the ultimate expression of intimacy and one should be very selective in who gets to share that experience with you. I feel that giving it away casually/indiscriminately cheapens the bond you could make with someone you want to really get close to and share something special with.

So, yes, it is important to me that the woman I want to be with has been selective and considers that type of bonding to be the exclusive domain of a romantic relationship. I think these kinds of choices say a lot about a person and how they view themselves and the world around them. It's an attitude and a behaviour. I want to be with a person that makes decisions carefully and with purpose. This person does not place much importance on instant-gratification or partying. I could not invest myself in a person with such an outlook.


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## Raulz0r (Jun 4, 2011)

I would definately prefer someone who didn't had "too many" sexual partners, because I would just feel as another number down on her list, I do not want to be another one, I want to be someone


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