# Therapy - First Time - What to Expect?



## JGreenwood

After years of denying, and avoiding, things finally got too bad to ignore. So I made an appointment with a Therapist for this Wednesday and I am TERRIFIED!

What can I expect from a first visit? Do I need a list of topics that I'm ready to discuss?

Any help and or insight would be greatly appreciated. I just don't want to be blindsided by the process as it will only make my anxiety worse. Thanks in advance!


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## eek a mouse

ooo its going to be bad, real bad. Youll probably see him trying to hold back his laughter as you are telling him your deepest fears. He will probably record it and play it back at dinner parties....

so be warned...and dont say...i didnt tell you so


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## leonardess

well done to you for taking this important step, it takes courage. 

A good therapist will, foremost, listen and give you 100% of their attention. 

I don't think a list is really necessary. He or she will ask you what's on your mind, what you want to work on. In a way, I think it's best to go in prepared to simply talk. If you prepare yourself mentally for just doing that, the rest will follow. if you make a list, it may end up being superficial - by that I mean you may not even be aware of or be able to articulate what's really bothering you, so if you just start talking, all that will eventually come out. 

However, if you feel a list will help get the ball rolling, by all means make one. Good luck with your therapy, and don't be afraid to shop around for a good therapist if necessary. Therapists aren't a one size fits all proposition,. sometimes you need to look around for one that's good for you specifically.


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## Olivia

Very cool & courageous of you to do this. Not all therapists are the same mind you but don't be shy about telling him/her you believe you have SA. He/she will likely ask you questions to determine what caused it, if any specific situations trigger it or make it worse, how you've coped w/ it over the years. When I went for the first time, I barely said 10 words. I just sat there and answered questions. My therapist picked up on how nervous I was and took charge--in other words, he did most of the talking. One thing I want you to know. There's no miracle cure. It's not going to happen overnight. The longer you've dealt w/ SA, the longer it may take to work towards overcoming it. Just hang in there and give the therapy process a chance to work. If after say 3-4 sessions, you don't feel comfortable w/ your therapist, then switch. You have to feel comfortable and that you can trust this person in order to share what's going on within yourself. I will tell you, at some point in the future, the therapist will suggest you do things like exposure techniques to confront your SA. Mine suggested I join Toastmaster's. I did, for a little while and then quit after doing one speech. But don't worry about pleasing your therapist or disappointing him/her. It's not about them, it's about you. My therapist understood that I simply wasn't ready at that time for something like Toastmaster's. One lesson I've learned is that you can only do as much as you're capable of doing at any one given moment. So if an activity is suggested, like going up to a stranger and asking the time, and you don't do it...don't beat yourself up about it or feel like you've failed. You always have another opportunity to try. 

Good luck. And btw, I've been in therapy for 4 years and it wasn't until about the 2nd year that I began to come out of my shell. Some may do it sooner, some later, but give yourself that chance. It's worth it.


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## JGreenwood

Thank you Leonardess and Olivia! I appreciate the encouragement and the insight that the 2 of you provided! You have NO idea how much I appreciate it!


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## JamieHasAnxiety

I don't think you should prepare yourself for it, don't be afraid, they have seen much worse than people with SA. I feel that if your told something your unprepared for, that the answer would come straight from your heart, and they will feel that from you, instead of rehearsing an answer to questions that havent even been asked yet.

Hope it goes well for you, I'm very proud of ya' for doing it. Not everyone has the courage to call in for an appointment. That my friend, takes balls. Good job! =]


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## JGreenwood

Thanks! Tomorrow will be the REAL test. My appointment is late in the afternoon so I will have plenty of time to talk myself out of going. Gotta stay strong!


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## paulyD

RoboticJew said:


> After years of denying, and avoiding, things finally got too bad to ignore. So I made an appointment with a Therapist for this Wednesday and I am TERRIFIED!
> 
> What can I expect from a first visit? Do I need a list of topics that I'm ready to discuss?
> 
> Any help and or insight would be greatly appreciated. I just don't want to be blindsided by the process as it will only make my anxiety worse. Thanks in advance!


expect to be disapointed


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## LeftyFretz

It's so bloody hard to walk into a room like that. But hey, go back again if the couch is comfy.  If you feel embarrassed about admitting a fear or a secret that's just buried so deep, just remember they have heard it all- and then some. You won't be judged.


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## Giraffe

It's a little late for this now, probably, but I'd suggest watching episodes of HBO's _In Treatment_. It gives you a good idea of what happens in therapy, as the entire show is set in a therapist's practice.


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## JGreenwood

Thanks for all of the advice guys! I REALLY appreciate it. Today is the big day. I'm still trying really hard not to cancel or drive in the other direction, but I think I'll make it in. Here's hoping!


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## leonardess

good luck today, hope it goes well.


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## Still Waters

The shackles aren't so bad but the truth serum gives you a killer headache. 
Only joking, I'm behind you 100%! I know it's awkward and will take time,but the payoff is HUGE!!!


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## StevenGlansberg

Let us know how it goes.


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## LeftyFretz

Good luck man. I hope you leave feeling good. If you don't, give it time.


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## JGreenwood

Well, that was...interesting. I don't really feel like it helped me any and I didn't really expect the first visit to. But I DO feel encouraged and positive about where this may lead. I really feel like this CAN help which is a big step for me. The Therapist was very nice, and didn't seem to be judging me or thinking I was an idiot which was good. She basically just asked me a bunch of questions and then dug deeper with follow ups when she found something that seemed to "strike a nerve".

I just wish I hadn't cried SO much! A lot of the stuff I told her, I've never told anyone...even my wife. So it was very emotional for me. I'm going back. Let's hope the next visit goes as well.


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## Norm

So glad to hear you went through with it! Showing up for the first visit is the hardest part. This is a major accomplishment. I sincerely hope it helps. Please keep us updated.


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## wheels00

Good for you.

I was soooooooooooo nervous my first time going to a psychologist. I think she started just by asking me what prompted me to want to see a psychologist and I said "social anxiety" and then she just asked me simple questions that I gave yes/no answers to mostly.

I struggled to say much for about 45mins, but in the last 10 mins my anxiety started to lift and i could explain myself easier.


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## Smokin87

Have you seen her since? Just wondered how the follow ups went, mate. 

I think one positive is surely the fact you were able to go through with it? You're doing things that you once thought weren't possible, so that proves you're starting to overcome your SA. That's great! I'm sure a while ago, you didn't think you could or should do it, but you're a stronger person because you. I hope it's still going good and you manage to inspire some other people to do the same, myself included!

Well done!


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## JGreenwood

Smokin87 said:


> Have you seen her since? Just wondered how the follow ups went, mate.
> 
> I think one positive is surely the fact you were able to go through with it? You're doing things that you once thought weren't possible, so that proves you're starting to overcome your SA. That's great! I'm sure a while ago, you didn't think you could or should do it, but you're a stronger person because you. I hope it's still going good and you manage to inspire some other people to do the same, myself included!
> 
> Well done!


Thanks! I have not been back. But that's because Therapy is soo expensive! She wanted me to come back twice a week, but I just couldn't afford it even with insurance. My next appointmet is on Tuesday night. I will post another follow up then.

Thanks for the encouraging words. I'm hoping the next sessions we can REALLY get into some of my issues instead of just covering everything scatter shot style.


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## Smokin87

That's a shame, mate. I know it must be expensive over there but at least you're going again. Luckily here, it's all on the NHS so it costs nothing.

Hope it goes well though! I'll check this post to see how you got along. 

Do you recognize that what you have done is a good thing? Instead of looking at it like "I had nowhere else to go" think that you've actually done something you never thought was possible, which is a huge sign of strength. You've already done something you were scared of and you're going to do it again...that's a huge positive.

By the way, I'm jealous of your beard haha.


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## JGreenwood

2nd appointment was last night. It was drastically different from the first visit. This time I think she was expecting me to kind of take the lead and discuss things on my own, which I am NOT good at doing. After many awkward pauses she finally started steering the conversation.
I'm not sure if I like it. Last night when I came out of my appointment I felt...drained emotionally. She always seems to ask the questions that steer me into an emotional outburst and it kind of took it's toll on me last night. I'm still kind of out of it today. I made another appointment cause I don't want to give up before I really begin...but this is tough.
I've told her things that I have never told my wife. It's weird to think that there's somebody other than myself that now knows how deeply depressed and insecure I am.


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## Monroee

Therapy should be a comfortable environment, not necessarily take a toll on you. The therapist should have things under control and make sure not to bring out too much deep stuff per visit so as not to overwhelm you.

Are you comfortable with this particular therapist? If you're not, don't give up on therapy, every therapist is different and has different quirks and methods.


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## JGreenwood

I am very comfortable speaking with her and opening up. She's very reassuring and I don't feel like she's judging me or thinking that I'm an idiot for feeling the way I do about certain things. 
I don't know it's like, I THOUGHT I was depressed before, but I was keeping everything inside. She's bringing it out, and now I REALLY know what depression feels like.
Is it supposed to feel like opening wounds? Do I have to open the wounds for them to be able to begin to heal?
She's given me a lot of encouragement and ideas on ways to try to let go some of my past. Like writing letters to people I feel have hurt me, or that I feel I have wronged.
This is all so new to me, I don't know what's good and what isn't. I just hope it doesn't continue to make me feel like this.


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## Monroee

JGreenwood said:


> Is it supposed to feel like opening wounds? Do I have to open the wounds for them to be able to begin to heal?


Yes. Unfortunately. Its going to hurt a lot when you start opening up about stuff that you tried so hard to bury. But once you get it all out and start facing it, it gets better. I'm going through the same problem with my abuse. I've pushed it down so deep in myself so as to not face it. Facing it in therapy and feeling emotions I didn't let myself feel is the first step towards healing.

I've been to a few different therapists, and witnessed even more at hospital stays. So I can see which are good and which aren't. I can understand your dilemma over whether its good for you or not. But I say stick with it for a little while and see if you start to feel better.


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