# Do you have trouble making friends in school?



## coverupeve (Jun 17, 2013)

I find that it is hard for me to start talking to new people
so I don't make friends easily
I wait for people to start talking to me -_-
which takes awhile


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## PalenPretty (May 5, 2012)

Same here. For years I'd just wait around hoping people would approach me (unfortunately most would end up being creepy guys, that's what sucks about being singled out). But anyway, approaching a stranger and trying to have a conversation is one of my biggest fears because I'm scared of rejection. I know it's silly because I imagine worse case scenarios in my mind, the worst probably being awkward silence. We just need to be confident in something so we can be confident in ourselves.


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## Deviant Din (Aug 25, 2013)

I wouldn't know what to say. I'd probably start rambling about the subject.


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## PassiveAggressive (Apr 17, 2013)

I'm the same, I usually wait until people talk to me, and when they do I don't know what to say. It really sucks because I don't think they feel like talking to me anymore, or think I'm weird or boring, and I and up being lonely. I've been in a new school for about a month and I still have no one to talk to. :bash


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## Gohmer (Aug 28, 2013)

I mostly wait for people to talk to me but I'm trying to be more outgoing this semester. I tried talking to several people the first couple of weeks of community college and so far nobody has been very receptive. Every conversation ended up becoming one sided with me asking non intrusive questions, and since I have SA and can barely keep a 2 sided conversation flowing they all fell flat within a minute or two. Today was really embarrassing because in my chemistry lecture hall we had to do a worksheet in groups and I tried joining 4 different groups of what I thought were nice looking students, but every time I got rejected and eventually got very depressed and just gave up and did it myself. I was the first to finish though, woohoo!


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## PalenPretty (May 5, 2012)

Why/how were you rejected? Were there only allowed a certain number of students or something? 
I dislike group projects. I mean, yeah they can be a way to meet new people but most of the time people either do too much or not enough work.



Gohmer said:


> Today was really embarrassing because in my chemistry lecture hall we had to do a worksheet in groups and I tried joining 4 different groups of what I thought were nice looking students, but every time I got rejected and eventually got very depressed and just gave up and did it myself.


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## VanillaPanda (Aug 28, 2013)

I usually never am the one to approach someone, but I saw this girl waiting outside of the same classroom who looked so nervous. Turns out she didn't know that the class didn't start for another half hour, she thought she had missed it or gotten lost. She turned out to be very nice and is now a good friend. And she turned out to be an awkward kind of person too.

I don't know how I managed to pull that off. But just trying to be honestly nice is a good start.


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

Yes,from 4th grade until undergrad in university. University is just another wasted chapter of my life when it comes to the social aspects.I'm now in my third year, and I almost do not even give a damn anymore. 12+ years is one hell of a long time to never have a person to hang out with outside of the school premises.


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## carolinexo (May 12, 2013)

I don't really have trouble making "friends" in school, but I do have trouble finding those whom I can truely click with and not backstab me etc. Being in a judgemental world, it's tough to find people who accepts you for the way you are or even just have the same interest as you. Right now, I kinda am struggling in some of my classes coz I don't have a friend with me & my anxiety tend to kick up whenever i'm alone. I've tried joining a clique but it just didn't work out for me coz I didn't feel comfortable contributing to the conversation. :/ it sucks, but i guess i'm just gonna let things work themselves out.


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## Naed26 (Aug 2, 2013)

Yes, an extremely hard time. The last time I made a friend in school was probably my junior year of high school. I was talking to a girl my freshman year in college and things were going well but she ended up transferring schools the next month. 

What's even worse is that when I do finally work up the courage to talk to people in school it will be months into the quarter, so on top of already feeling anxious about talking to people I now worry about it being weird that I just now started talking to people especially since most people have already made friends.


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## coverupeve (Jun 17, 2013)

carolinexo said:


> I don't really have trouble making "friends" in school, but I do have trouble finding those whom I can truely click with and not backstab me etc. Being in a judgemental world, it's tough to find people who accepts you for the way you are or even just have the same interest as you. Right now, I kinda am struggling in some of my classes coz I don't have a friend with me & my anxiety tend to kick up whenever i'm alone. I've tried joining a clique but it just didn't work out for me coz I didn't feel comfortable contributing to the conversation. :/ it sucks, but i guess i'm just gonna let things work themselves out.


yeah
it's a struggle to find TRUE friends 
people who actually give a darn about you >.> ha


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## Banzai (Jun 4, 2009)

I have a few acquaintance-type people at uni (but none in my course) who I could approach if I _maybe_ needed to ask something. I only made one friend at uni in second year but then they left so now I'm back to square one.


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## dreamingescape (Sep 1, 2013)

I'm exactly the same 

I'm in college and I still do it, you think I would've learnt but no I apparently prefer to sit awkwardly on my own instead of going up to people and finding out more about them. I even spent my first year of college completely friendless within my tutor group because I didn't have the guts to talk to anyone.


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## Greenleaf62 (Aug 1, 2013)

I've never been good at making friends. I think I only have the friends I do now because they were the ones to start talking to me.


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## Autumn26 (Aug 1, 2013)

Greenleaf62 said:


> I've never been good at making friends. I think I only have the friends I do now because they were the ones to start talking to me.


Same here! The hardest step for me is always approaching someone and striking up a conversation D: I can usually open up when they talk to me first. It's embarrassing that I even try projecting approachable body language so people will talk to me in new places if that makes sense xD


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## vanishingpt (Mar 9, 2012)

For most of my classes, they're very work-based/project-based so a lot of the time is spent with students working on their projects so it's easy to walk around and talk about things with them. Also the class sizes are a lot smaller than say, big lecture halls of 200 students where the professor does all the talking.

What's a little harder is just finding the right people sometimes where you do want to spend a lot of time with haha. I'm the kind of person who likes having a few close and good friends vs. a lot of acquaintances/friends.


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## Misskittycat (Sep 5, 2013)

I am horrible at making new friends. I can't even talk to a stranger without my hands fidgeting, heart beating fast, stuttering. It really sucks.


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## friz (Sep 3, 2013)

Yes! Definitely... 
I can manage to make acquaintances when school starts.. because others are just as nervous as I am about making friends... but afterwards people find their own niches and I'm left out because I'm an oddball who has nothing in common with anyone else and I'm not the type of friend people would "hang out" with..^-^
Also... I find I'm a lot better talking one-on-one... and a lot of people seem to be put off by that.


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## azureyoshi (Dec 26, 2012)

[redacted]


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## CastAway (Sep 8, 2013)

Hi I'm new to this but I'm just going to start posting anyway. 

I find it really hard to make friends, in school I was okay, I hung around with a big group of people but then everything changed when everyone split to go to college and sixth form, only me and my best friend from childhood went to the same college and its been from then on that I've realised that people genuinely don't seem interested in talking to me. Throughout my two years at college I made no friends at all and simply spent everyday in the library of the college, sometimes with my best friend, but most of the time without because she had managed to make new friends and so would hang out with them. I tried to talk to her new friends but no one seemed to care and from then on I've basically lived in fear of rejection. Having people ignore me if I talk to them actually hurts and I don't want this to happen during my next 3 years of uni because I know I wouldn't be able to cope with no friends.


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## Bianca424 (Sep 5, 2013)

I'm not alone ! I have been in a lot of instances when I don't actually know what to say to people who talk to me. Embarrassing! However, I needed to change. I want to spend time with friends and I can't make friends when I don't even know what to say.

One of my closest friends told me that when someone would approach and ask for something, I just need to breathe deeply to relax. I've been trying to do that. Somehow, I manage to do it successfully, but there are times when I walk away !

Maybe you want to try what my friend adviced me to do. It might work on you...

All the best!


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## SymphonicLove (Aug 7, 2013)

I started college last week on Tuesday and I think it's safe to say that I have not made a single friend. The reason for this (other than my SA) is that practically everyone there is sticking with their friends from Secondary School which makes everything just a tad bit harder because even if I were to stop being a little ***** and pluck up the courage to start up a conversation with someone, eventually a few minutes later their clique would show up and I'd just end up looking dumbfounded whilst they sneer at me and walk away leaving me just sitting there thinking 'what have I done to myself.'


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## ineverwipe (Jun 16, 2013)

Yea i do the same. Unless someone talks to me first, i wont say a word lol. Not that i really want a friendship with anyone. I'm there to learn, nothing else. Quite glad I've been left alone for the most part


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## hmweasley (Sep 12, 2013)

I'm about a month into my sophomore year of college at the moment, and I would only really consider two people here my friends. Even then I rarely talk to them unless I happen to run into them, although there's the occasional text message exchange. Other than that there are just some acquaintances and such that I'm on friendly terms with because we've been in several classes together.

It's been pretty hard on me. I tried joining clubs and all of that, but it didn't help at all. It really sucks.


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## quewezance (Sep 9, 2013)

I wait until people at school approach me too... I will know what to say but it will be painfully awkward. Like stuttering on my words or not making eye contact, like I'd just be looking at everything around the person I'm talking to and that would lead to them thinking I'm creepy or too shy. It hurts me that I can't make friends at school. It does really suck, man. :l


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## coffeeandflowers (Mar 2, 2013)

Yeah, I wait for people to initiate conversation. And some have so far. I also find that sitting next to the people I want to talk to helps because it makes it easier to just ask a question, make a comment etc. and for them to do so as well. What I have realized is that I have to be open to talking to different kinds of people that perhaps I don't see myself talking to for whatever reason. I also have to make more of an effort to look approachable and take the initiative to approach people, because the few times I have they have been receptive.


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## pepperjackcheese (Sep 13, 2013)

I've noticed that I always have to go out of my way to talk to people, which doesn't happen much. Still, if you wait for people to talk to you, they might never.


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## natethegreat8 (Sep 16, 2013)

I also have trouble making friends. I haven't made a friend in 4 years, and even then he started talking to me. I've had the same friends most of my life, and I'm slowly losing them. I'm down to 2 close friends.


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## AceEmoKid (Apr 27, 2012)

I wait for people to talk to me. I was fortunate enough to gain 2 friendships at college so far with this passive tactic. All I had to do was sustain it by exchanging numbers from the beginning and trying to hang out at least a couple times a week. It works, and keeps me feeling a little less lonely for portions of my free time, although when the sessions of social interaction end (or I leave in cowardly frustration, which has unfortunately happened 3 times already), I experience terrible withdrawals and frustration with my social capabilities and general self worth. The worst part is that I have no one to talk to about my frustration, except these public forums, and a good online friend I have who I know is suffering some pain and thus it would be selfish of me to ask them for help. What I really want and need right now is a confidante, or a friend I actually connect and feel comfortable with enough to discuss my issues. I also need to learn how to initiate conversations that stem new friendships. You and I could try starting casual conversation about homework topics, for instance, with classmates.


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## PandaPurrp (Jan 30, 2013)

Making friends is my kryptonite. I'm usually too scared to initiate a conversation cause I never know what to say. It helps if the person approaches me first (rarely happens). That way I at least know they're interested in talking to me. Otherwise I feel like I'm just bothering them.


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## black wolf (Jul 12, 2013)

I usually stand there waiting for someone to approach me, and when this happens (quite rarely, actually) I want them to go away because they're scaring me. :con


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## misspeachy (Aug 11, 2011)

No, no, no - it's too easy.


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## VeMuñeca (Sep 5, 2013)

Yes. Mostly because I have yet to find someone who shares same interests as me which seems far too rare at my college. Usually when I hang out with someone at my college they're boring and I can't wait for them to go away. There was this one kid who liked hanging out with me, but he was boring. His interests were far different from mine. I hope at the university where I will transfer to that I will meet someone or people with my interests.


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