# Weight Preferences in Dating



## Violet Romantic (Aug 3, 2014)

Would you date someone who is noticeably underweight/overweight? Would you only date someone of "average" weight? Is weight not important to you when it comes to finding a partner?

Thoughts?

Please be civil. :yay


----------



## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

cute thread 

I wouldn't date a fat girl but i have in the past..............Na tum jano na hum.


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

They have to be attractive, and I'm sure some people who are overweight or underweight are attractive, even if in general those qualities are not preferable to me.


----------



## laagamer (Jul 26, 2014)

I would think most individuals on this forum (myself included) would be happy to date anyone.

Except maybe Solo. :|


----------



## losthismarbles (Jul 5, 2014)

laagamer said:


> I would think most individuals on this forum (myself included) would be happy to date anyone.
> 
> Except maybe Solo. :|


So you would date anyone except Solo?
lol

So I'm still game then?


----------



## losthismarbles (Jul 5, 2014)

I have a funny rule about weight. If I can pick up and carry her I'm good. 

I like to be able to carry them -.-
I don't know maybe its a fetish or something.


----------



## laagamer (Jul 26, 2014)

losthismarbles said:


> So you would date anyone except Solo?
> lol
> 
> So I'm still game then?


...Actually, if I was gay, yes :haha


----------



## laagamer (Jul 26, 2014)

losthismarbles said:


> I have a funny rule about weight. If I can pick up and carry her I'm good.


What get easier to pick up the heavier it gets? :haha


----------



## Violet Romantic (Aug 3, 2014)

losthismarbles said:


> I have a funny rule about weight. If I can pick up and carry her I'm good.
> 
> I like to be able to carry them -.-
> I don't know maybe its a fetish or something.


I actually don't think that's an uncommon thought. I've heard it before. :b


----------



## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

Noticeably doesn't matter but not in the unhealthy range.


----------



## chinaski (Mar 1, 2010)

Chubby girls with a great butt are the best.


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

I could say I'd date anyone with any body type but I would be lying.


----------



## orsomething (Feb 14, 2014)

guys that look malnourished but not africa baby malnourished i dont like the distended stomach thing


----------



## Dre12 (Jul 25, 2014)

I prefer women with a bit of meat on their bones. I do find the skinny indie/arty type look attractive too. I have been in a relationship with a heavier girl before, like on the obese scale, and I have to say that I found her lifestyle incompatible with mine.



orsomething said:


> guys that look malnourished but not africa baby malnourished i dont like the distended stomach thing


Always the poet!


----------



## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

chinaski said:


> Chubby girls with a great butt are the best.


What he said


----------



## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

"_I would date people of most/all body types. Weight is not very important to me._"

I tend to prefer guys who are bigger than me I think. By bigger I mean heavier and/or taller. I've been attracted to overweight guys before, and 1 obese guy. The rest were average or skinny.


----------



## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

couldnt see myself with a big girl, just not my thing and shows we have very different interests/lifestyles

underweight, sure, although i'm not really sure what is considered underweight, you cant go on pure numbers due to the different compositions of people and muscle mass


----------



## Alone75 (Jul 29, 2013)

I'm no Zac Efron so can't be too fussy really I realise, I don't mind some extra weight but ideally I'd like Adriana Lima knocking at my door I guess. 

A quite overweight 41 year old single mother has liked me on a dating site actually, she wants to meet up. We have swapped erm intimate pics, I feel hopeful I may get some action soon and maybe a relationship at last. I just hope my anxiety doesn't mess it up! :rain


----------



## xxGODDESSxx (Sep 15, 2014)

I'm fit and prefer men who are *average sized OR smaller*.. but a little difference (slightly overweight, slightly underweight) doesn't matter to me.

The only thing that I won't do is someone DRASTICALLY beyond the range of "average"-ish. (I'm talking -say- 5'5" and 300lbs. I just couldn't do it. :no)


----------



## Aardvark (Sep 23, 2014)

Depends. If a girl is fat, I don't mind if she's working to get the weight off. But considering the field I'm in (personal training), and how important health is to just about everything, I'm not looking for a really obese girl.

But many obese girls that have cute faces look like legit models once they lose fat, and they'll thank you for helping them out for life.

I like helping others lose weight like I have


----------



## MiMiK (Aug 25, 2011)

i prefer girls with a bit of extra. nothing wrong with smaller girls but they look fragile and i feel like i might crush/break them lol


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Well extreme in either direction is unappealing to me, but I can find people appealing further in the skinny direction than in the overweight direction, if that makes sense.


----------



## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

orsomething said:


> guys that look malnourished but not africa baby malnourished i dont like the distended stomach thing


Why? He could go all out seesaw on you. Maximum seesaw for maximum pleasure.


----------



## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

I'm not attracted to either extreme honestly. I'm sorry but I'm just not attracted to really overweight women. One girl I dated briefly actually was probably underweight- she was really, really thin but had a cute face. But I prefer more toward average weight for their body size/type though a few extra pounds or not in either direction I could deal with if I liked the person.


----------



## anomnomnom (May 28, 2013)

Anything but extreme overweight I guess. I mean, difficulty walking/morbidly obese sort of weight, if they are carrying a few extra pounds, I really don't care I'm heading down that road myself!

Don't really mind underweight, I mean providing they were somewhat healthy, I'm not gonna run a mile if I see some ribs..


----------



## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

op said:


> I would only date someone of "average" weight.


The average weight is now overweight. Did you mean a "healthy" or "ideal" weight?


----------



## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

arnie said:


> The average weight is now overweight. Did you mean a "healthy" or "ideal" weight?


I thought someone like this would be considered average weight:

















At least that's what I consider average. :b


----------



## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

The face, driven by eyes, smile, etc. upon initial attraction, trumps body composition.

Now, if their body composition comes with an unattractive soul, whether plus sized, or runway model, it can't work.

With limited exception, you can change your body more readily than what really should matter in a relationship.


----------



## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

I draw my line at being obese. I don't care what anyone says, obese people are not healthy. The one thing I really want in life is to have my own family. A friend of mine recently married a large woman and their plan to conceive right away was delayed 6-8 months because her doctor told her to lose weight before even thinking about getting pregnant. 

That, and I'm sorry, obesity is just not attractive to me. In my younger and more sexually desperate days, I went for an opportunity with an obese woman and I was physically repulsed to the point where my parts wouldn't work. She wasn't too happy but there was nothing I could do to tell myself I wanted it once the clothes were off.


----------



## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)




----------



## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

Average weight is preferable. Slightly chubby would arguably be fine, if that makes her curvy in the right places.

I wouldn't be able to be that guy in the pic below, but these kinds of couples are hilarious.

"_Somebody's got a fat fetish, huh?_" is probably what everyone is thinking when looking at them in public :lol


----------



## Violet Romantic (Aug 3, 2014)

arnie said:


> The average weight is now overweight. Did you mean a "healthy" or "ideal" weight?


That's why I put the word in quotation marks.  I meant average as in someone in the middle. Neither underweight nor overweight. Not that you have to ask their weight, but just going off of appearance. That's also why I said "noticeably" underweight/overweight for the other options. Meaning you can look at the person and it is glaringly obvious that they are either underweight or overweight. If it is not really something you notice, I would call that average.


----------



## Violet Romantic (Aug 3, 2014)

mezzoforte said:


> I thought someone like this would be considered average weight:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


He looks athletic to me. :b But I guess that would fall under the category of "average" for the purposes of this poll. :yes 



Mr Bacon said:


> Average weight is preferable. Slightly chubby would arguably be fine, if that makes her curvy in the right places.
> 
> I wouldn't be able to be that guy in the pic below, but these kinds of couples are hilarious.
> 
> "_Somebody's got a fat fetish, huh?_" is probably what everyone is thinking when looking at them in public :lol


What makes them hilarious?


----------



## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

Phantasmagorical said:


> What makes them hilarious?


There's a huge discrepancy between their physiques, you wonder how the hell they ended up together. It's relatively rare to witness such cases, from my observation.


----------



## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Phantasmagorical said:


> He looks athletic to me. :b But I guess that would fall under the category of "average" for the purposes of this poll. :yes


I see a lot of of guys with that body type. The average guy in my area seems to be slimmer or more athletic than the average woman.



Phantasmagorical said:


> What makes them hilarious?


Yeah I don't find it funny...:um But I guess people would think that...



Mr Bacon said:


> There's a huge discrepancy between their physiques, you wonder how the hell they ended up together. It's relatively rare to witness such cases, from my observation.


Every time I've seen a couple like that in real life, the people have been black lol. :con


----------



## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

I don't mind for the most part, but it can get too extreme in either direction.
I've had more crushes on slightly overweight girls than skinny girls though.


----------



## Violet Romantic (Aug 3, 2014)

Mr Bacon said:


> There's a huge discrepancy between their physiques, you wonder how the hell they ended up together. It's relatively rare to witness such cases, from my observation.


I guess it makes me curious, but I don't think it's funny. I always think it's sweet, though.


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

mezzoforte said:


> I thought someone like this would be considered average weight:


 *dies*


----------



## waldorfs (Feb 18, 2013)

Mr Bacon said:


> I wouldn't be able to be that guy in the pic below, but these kinds of couples are hilarious.


I don't know why you would laugh at this couple. It's pretty insensitive, especially on a mental health forum, to be making fun of people because of their physical appearance. Body positivity is something a lot of people around here struggle with. This couple looks cute and happy to me. And good for them, I hope they don't let people like you get to them.


----------



## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

AussiePea said:


> *dies*


You're welcome. 8)


----------



## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

waldorfs said:


> I don't know why you would laugh at this couple. It's pretty insensitive, especially on a mental health forum, to be making fun of people because of their physical appearance. Body positivity is something a lot of people around here struggle with. This couple looks cute and happy to me. And good for them, I hope they don't let people like you get to them.


I'm happy these two fellas found each other if they complete each other. I find their association amusing, in a lighthearted kind of way, of course. No particular offense meant.


----------



## Violet Romantic (Aug 3, 2014)

waldorfs said:


> I don't know why you would laugh at this couple. It's pretty insensitive, especially on a mental health forum, to be making fun of people because of their physical appearance. Body positivity is something a lot of people around here struggle with. This couple looks cute and happy to me. And good for them, I hope they don't let people like you get to them.


:clap


----------



## Aardvark (Sep 23, 2014)

waldorfs said:


> I don't know why you would laugh at this couple. It's pretty insensitive, especially on a mental health forum, to be making fun of people because of their physical appearance. Body positivity is something a lot of people around here struggle with. This couple looks cute and happy to me. And good for them, I hope they don't let people like you get to them.


To be fair, mental health is something that can be out of your control. Same with your physical facial appearance. But your weight? That is DIRECTLY the fault of the person.

I wouldn't go out of my way to make fun of them, but I certainly would never date a fat women or even respect her. Why respect them if they don't even respect themselves?


----------



## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

Mr Bacon said:


> Average weight is preferable. Slightly chubby would arguably be fine, if that makes her curvy in the right places.
> 
> I wouldn't be able to be that guy in the pic below, but these kinds of couples are hilarious.
> 
> "_Somebody's got a fat fetish, huh?_" is probably what everyone is thinking when looking at them in public :lol


That could very well be it, and that's no joke. One thing I need in my own personal battles is to try to be more open sexually and in those efforts, you learn that there are a lot of people who take their fetishes very, very seriously. Some people are turned on by certain things and some people aren't. While I'm repulsed by obesity, another man won't be able to control his erection when he sees a large woman out and about.


----------



## waldorfs (Feb 18, 2013)

Aardvark said:


> To be fair, mental health is something that can be out of your control. Same with your physical facial appearance. But your weight? That is DIRECTLY the fault of the person.
> 
> I wouldn't go out of my way to make fun of them, but I certainly would never date a fat women or even respect her. Why respect them if they don't even respect themselves?


1) I wasn't making any comment on his preference. I don't care what people prefer. But you do need to be respectful of others and stop making a joke of their bodies. It's hurtful and there is nothing there to laugh at. 2) Weight is not always directly the fault of a person. There are a lot of factors that influence weight. Even mental illness. A lot of people don't have the motivation or the will. Other people just flat out cannot control it due to disease, genetics, etc. 3) Honestly, this whole message really pisses me off so much but I am not wasting any more of my energy on you. You've proven what type of person you are if your respect for someone is based on their body type.


----------



## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

waldorfs said:


> 1) I wasn't making any comment on his preference. I don't care what people prefer. But you do need to be respectful of others and stop making a joke of their bodies. It's hurtful and there is nothing there to laugh at. 2) Weight is not always directly the fault of a person. There are a lot of factors that influence weight. Even mental illness. A lot of people don't have the motivation or the will. Other people just flat out cannot control it due to disease, genetics, etc. 3) Honestly, this whole message really pisses me off so much but I am not wasting any more of my energy on you. You've proven what type of person you are if your respect for someone is based on their body type.


You're right about the joking and ridicule. There is no need for it and those who do are just douchebags.

The control however, I don't see that as you do. Yes, some cannot control it. I know those born with Down's Syndrome are prone to obesity. However, for most people in our society, they can control their weight. Not having the will or the motivation to be active and eat right is not an excuse, it's something each capable individual is responsible to do themselves.

I work in a mall full time and it is no coincidence that people in line at fast food places in the food court are mostly overweight/obese. I myself have battled the bulge and once I stopped eating junk food, drinking pop and controlling my portions over what I was eating (along with drinking 2-4 litres of water every day), I saw an immediate improvement without going to the gym. Everybody is capable of making better food/drink intake choices for themselves. I don't buy the genetics factor either. Two obese parents won't have an obese baby. That child is more likely to be obese because his/her obese parents will feed him/her the foods to lead their child down that path.


----------



## Steve French (Sep 17, 2012)

Obese people are gross, hell no.


----------



## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

the only issue i have is when weight is approaching obesity. i have a preference for non-obese girls, and i suppose obese girls wish they were non-obese for the most part too. its not quite a deal breaker though.


----------



## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

I want a skinny guy, so I can carry him when he's tired of carrying me.


----------



## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

between 100 and 159lbs is fine anything else doesn't deserve my attention


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

blue2 said:


> between 100 and 159lbs is fine anything else *doesn't deserve* my attention


⊙__⊙

◉︵◉ 

ಡ_ಡ I see how it is.

(not srs)


----------



## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

Persephone The Dread said:


> ⊙__⊙
> 
> ◉︵◉
> 
> ...


:teeth....doesn't matter what weight you are those rules are only for people I don't know ( am srs)


----------



## seeking777 (Oct 24, 2012)

mezzoforte said:


> I see a lot of of guys with that body type. The average guy in my area seems to be slimmer or more athletic than the average woman.
> 
> Yeah I don't find it funny...:um But I guess people would think that...
> 
> Every time I've seen a couple like that in real life, the people have been black lol. :con


Yeah, I have seen several black couples where the girl was big and the guy was smaller and vice versa. :stu So I didn't laugh when I saw them either.

I could talk to a chubby guy, if certain other requirements are met. I mean I've never been attracted to one but I suppose it's possible. Idk, I don't have enough dating experience to really answer these types of questions.


----------



## Violet Romantic (Aug 3, 2014)

I wonder why it is that most people seem to be more accepting of underweight people than they are of overweight people when both are unhealthy.

Thoughts?


----------



## Steve French (Sep 17, 2012)

Phantasmagorical said:


> I wonder why it is that most people seem to be more accepting of underweight people than they are of overweight people when both are unhealthy.
> 
> Thoughts?


Could be because underweight people are still quite a bit more aesthetically pleasing than overweight people.

Can't avoid noticing a fatties fatness but an anorexic person might just still look semi normal with clothes on.

Maybe it's the epidemic of overweight people while being underweight is not nearly as widespread of an issue.


----------



## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

Phantasmagorical said:


> I wonder why it is that most people seem to be more accepting of underweight people than they are of overweight people when both are unhealthy.
> 
> Thoughts?


What I don't know, an opinion is probably mostly informed based on what media deems to be popular...


----------



## Violet Romantic (Aug 3, 2014)

blue2 said:


> What I don't know, an opinion is probably mostly informed based on what media deems to be popular...


This is what I think as well. It's like saying, "I like this relatively unhealthy person but not that relatively unhealthy person because everyone else doesn't like that relatively unhealthy person." :sigh

I'm not saying everyone should like overweight people or dislike underweight people. And I'm not saying that everyone who dislikes overweight people feels that way because of the media, nor am I saying that everyone who likes underweight people feels that way because of the media. I'm just saying I think the media has a lot to do with it in most cases. It's interesting stuff.


----------



## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

Doesn't matter much, if at all. I wouldn't want someone to rule me out for my features, so I won't do it to anyone else. I don't really care much anyway, but aesthetically, I prefer overweight (even mobidly) over skeletal. I actually find chubbiness endearing (and it's my present state of affairs, but slowly 'normalizing').


----------



## brooke_brigham (Nov 28, 2013)

There are WAY more reasons for someone being overweight then them "not respecting themselves". Thats just ignorant. Some people take medications which make them gain a lot of weight, some people have health issues like a slipped disc which cause them to have to be sedentary and gain weight, some people are chronically depressed and can no more go to the gym than a person with SA can go to a club. Some people were abused sexually and they cover the pain with weight. Some people are flat out depressed and dont care or have given up. To say that anyone who is fat is not worth your time, ugly or lazy is pretty f'ed up.

Not saying you have to like fat girls but to knock them down, laugh at them, etc is not cool.


----------



## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

Aardvark said:


> To be fair, mental health is something that can be out of your control. Same with your physical facial appearance. But your weight? That is DIRECTLY the fault of the person.
> 
> I wouldn't go out of my way to make fun of them, but I certainly would never date a fat women or even respect her. Why respect them if they don't even respect themselves?


I think I read that you're a personal trainer? Then you should know that some people are more prone to keeping weight on than others. Getting out and running every day and hitting the gym every day might work schedule-wise on paper, but when it comes down to it when you're trying to juggle everything in life you can't give 100% to everything, especially considering the fact that taking weight off isn't a destination it's a perpetual journey, a journey that gets harder as you age. Maybe *you* have the energy, determination, and schedule that allows for keeping your weight in check at all times, but that doesn't mean you should project your strengths and expectations on other people and assume that if they don't meet your expectations that it can be chalked up to lack of self-respect. Get your head out of your ***.


----------



## Jammer25 (Feb 22, 2014)

I would likely only date women who have an average weight for their respective body types. I don't subscribe to a "one size fits all" definition of average.


----------



## Jade18 (Mar 6, 2011)

Average no skinny or fat for me
But i think you are a ****ty person if you cant respect a person due to their weight
Nobody says to get attracted to obese men or women but it seems pretty normal to me to respect everyone. Not to mention overweight people dont do much good to their appearance
By dressing like a slob and just really hobo ish looking. And i see the majorty of overweight people doing that


----------



## jcastaway (Jul 11, 2014)

I still love overweight Chris Pratt. As long as they're healthy, I'm good. I care more about what's in the inside than whats on the outside. 
Not exactly overweight but hot damn:clap werk!


----------



## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

Phantasmagorical said:


> I wonder why it is that most people seem to be more accepting of underweight people than they are of overweight people when both are unhealthy.
> 
> Thoughts?


While both being anorexic and obese are bad for your health, there is not a societal epidemic of anorexia while there is for obesity. Both are deadly conditions. Members of my family has unfortunately experienced both conditions. With the anorexia, it was something that my aunt was very accepting of help when it was offered and she got through it. My mother is a large woman. When we were on speaking terms (when I was a teenager), I wanted to start going to the gym and suggested that we go together and she told me she was insulted. She took my suggestion for us to go to the gym and be active as being ridiculed because of her weight.

Most obese people are insulted when they are offered helpful suggestions on how to get healthier. I think that's a big reason for their lack of acceptance.



brooke_brigham said:


> There are WAY more reasons for someone being overweight then them "not respecting themselves". Thats just ignorant. Some people take medications which make them gain a lot of weight, some people have health issues like a slipped disc which cause them to have to be sedentary and gain weight, some people are chronically depressed and can no more go to the gym than a person with SA can go to a club. Some people were abused sexually and they cover the pain with weight. Some people are flat out depressed and dont care or have given up. To say that anyone who is fat is not worth your time, ugly or lazy is pretty f'ed up.


 Some medications do cause weight gain, but they do not cause obesity.

If you're injured and cannot be active, eat right while you're on the shelf and you won't get fat. I've been dealing with tendonitis in my Achilles tendon for almost a year and I've gained a bit of weight because my eating habits have slipped. It's my own damn fault that I've eaten like s*** since my physical activity had to be cut by a large portion. I had 100% control of that.

Covering up the pain of sexual abuse by getting fat makes zero sense whatsoever.

If you're depressed and have given up, then your weight is not an issue. Nobody is going to want you when you're at that point mentally, nevermind physically.


----------



## beli mawr (Dec 18, 2013)

KyleInSTL said:


> The face, driven by eyes, smile, etc. upon initial attraction, trumps body composition.
> 
> Now, if their body composition comes with an unattractive soul, whether plus sized, or runway model, it can't work.
> 
> With limited exception, you can change your body more readily than what really should matter in a relationship.


Exactly what I always say. The face is something you're going to be looking at all the time, and matters a good deal. A nice smile says a lot.

First, however, comes attitude. What fun is it to be with a supermodel (or anyone for that matter) who treats me like crap? Been there, put up with it for longer than I should have; no fun at all.

If I had to go either way, it would be toward the slightly heavier side. As someone else mentioned... I don't think I could be with someone I was worried I was going to "break" (or hurt) easily. Also, I find a little chubbiness more attractive than seeing bone, maybe it just goes along with the breakage thing.


----------



## losthismarbles (Jul 5, 2014)

probably offline said:


> I want a skinny guy, so I can carry him when he's tired of carrying me.


That's awesome. Maybe I should look for a girl who can also carry me so she can carry me when I get tired of carrying her. lol


----------



## EternallyRestless (Jul 19, 2011)

As long as they aren't underweight or obese they're fine by me. I'd actually rather have a guy whose body is "imperfect" in some way because I don't really like my own body.


----------



## riderless (Jul 21, 2013)

no one over 150 kg


----------



## losthismarbles (Jul 5, 2014)

Aardvark said:


> To be fair, mental health is something that can be out of your control. Same with your physical facial appearance. But your weight? That is DIRECTLY the fault of the person.
> 
> I wouldn't go out of my way to make fun of them, but I certainly would never date a fat women or even respect her. Why respect them if they don't even respect themselves?


That's the most hypocritical thing I've heard in awhile. So people who don't have the willpower to overcome their mental health issues, are not at fault. Then people who don't have the willpower to overcome physical issues are? That is absolutely ridiculous.

So are you saying all the overweight people are just like 'well I've decided I'm gonna be overweight'? That makes no sense, especially when many of those people's weight was a result of mental health issues to begin with. Some people eat because they are depressed, anxious, bored, lonely or many other reasons. 
And many people have more trouble losing weight than others. I never gain weight regardless of what I eat, others eat like a potato chip and they gain a pound. There's mental and genetic factors that are involved in peoples weight. Not to mention all the people who grew up to be overweight because of their parents choices, what were they supposed to do?


----------



## riderless (Jul 21, 2013)

> Some of you really deserve the miserable lives that undoubtedly lie in front of you


 Oh god that's me. I've been reading too much about karma recently.


----------



## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

i care about whats inside and outside

kind of like a good burger

the bread is a nice add on and really sells it, but ingredients and meat at the core make me appreciate it and come back

tl;dr i like to cover women in mayonaise and ketchup


----------



## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

>


I died again...


----------



## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

Honestly, I have no one preference. Skinny/slim girls can be attractive, average girls can be attractive, curvier girls can be attractive. I'm not sure what to vote, since I guess unhealthy extremes (like seriously obese) would be a problem (and I do realise this is shallow to some degree, but honestly no physical attraction in a relationship at all is a pretty big problem), so I can't exactly say body types don't matter to me at all, but other than that, I don't really have a preference.


----------



## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

jcastaway said:


> I still love overweight Chris Pratt.


YES! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :high5 He's the most attractive male celebrity in my opinion. Very attractive when overweight and still attractive buffed up in Guardians of the Galaxy.


----------



## brooke_brigham (Nov 28, 2013)

In a Lonely Place said:


> You'd need to walk a mile in a persons shoes to know why they hide in addictions or do certain behaviours.
> My mother was sexually abused as a child, she's full of all kinds of OCD's and coping behaviours, alcohol, food, hoarding and rituals have all been done to death in her life.
> 
> Some of you really deserve the miserable lives that undoubtedly lie in front of you. Who the **** are any of you to be calling out others on how they look or what they turn to for comfort.


exactly.


----------



## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

brooke_brigham said:


> There are WAY more reasons for someone being overweight then them "not respecting themselves". Thats just ignorant. Some people take medications which make them gain a lot of weight, some people have health issues like a slipped disc which cause them to have to be sedentary and gain weight, some people are chronically depressed and can no more go to the gym than a person with SA can go to a club. Some people were abused sexually and they cover the pain with weight. Some people are flat out depressed and dont care or have given up. To say that anyone who is fat is not worth your time, ugly or lazy is pretty f'ed up.
> 
> Not saying you have to like fat girls but to knock them down, laugh at them, etc is not cool.





In a Lonely Place said:


> You'd need to walk a mile in a persons shoes to know why they hide in addictions or do certain behaviours.
> My mother was sexually abused as a child, she's full of all kinds of OCD's and coping behaviours, alcohol, food, hoarding and rituals have all been done to death in her life.
> 
> Some of you really deserve the miserable lives that undoubtedly lie in front of you. Who the **** are any of you to be calling out others on how they look or what they turn to for comfort.


Yeah, some people are overweight or underweight due to having hard lives, medical problems, psychological issues, etc. And then you have the people who just have the predisposition to be overweight or underweight, even though they eat a normal amount. It's perfectly fine not to be attracted to these people, but I agree some of the comments in this thread have been insensitive/rude. But it's what I expect from people on this site and in the real world. :stu


----------



## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

In a Lonely Place said:


> Some of you really deserve the miserable lives that undoubtedly lie in front of you. Who the **** are any of you to be calling out others on how they look or what they turn to for comfort.


thread title: Weight Preferences in Dating

poll: What are your weight preferences when it comes to dating?

no one needs to feel bad about their preference when it comes to attraction/dating, nor do i feel they need to defend them


----------



## baloff17 (May 28, 2014)

mezzoforte said:


> YES! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :high5 He's the most attractive male celebrity in my opinion. Very attractive when overweight and still attractive buffed up in Guardians of the Galaxy.


Wait, you're saying these two pictures are of the _same guy_?? Well damn, that gives hope to us all.

(That is unless the picture on the right is before and the one on the left is after - which would match up better with my personal experience )


----------



## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

baloff17 said:


> Wait, you're saying these two pictures are of the _same guy_?? Well damn, that gives hope to us all.
> 
> *(That is unless the picture on the right is before and the one on the left is after - which would match up better with my personal experience )*


Yeah, the same guy. He looks good both ways to me.  He ended up getting more athletic to play a different role than he normally plays.

And :lol at the bolded!

















Same guy again. :b


----------



## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

That Chris Pratt picture reminds me of an article I saw on the changing standards for male actors in films:
http://www.mensjournal.com/magazine/building-a-bigger-action-hero-20140418

And it includes this example of the different looks for James Bond - 1960s vs 2006:









It's kinda sad that there is this obsession with super fit bodies and the need to constantly work out.
There are much more important things than 'perfect' bodies imo and it's really not a look I want to have to try to live up to, so I hope it doesn't catch on too much :b


----------



## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Its a bald fact a lot of people don't find oversized body types attractive. 

Doesn't mean its their fault, or right, its a hardwired preference that a lot of people have, all the shaming in the world won't change that.


----------



## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Don't shame people for their body type, don't shame people for their preferences.

/story

I tend to prefer thinner over larger, probably because I tend that way myself, but I'm fine with a range of body types.


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

You know, I probably have one of the least attractive body types as a woman (short so not the leggy model type and at the same time not much in the way of curves) though it makes me sad that most men will find me unattractive (not just because of my body type, it's just another factor) I don't blame them for it, I was just unlucky. So I'm not going to feel bad about having the preferences I do.


----------



## baloff17 (May 28, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> ... I don't blame them for it, I was just unlucky. So I'm not going to feel bad about having the preferences I do.


That's a great attitude. And a healthy one. I used to beat myself up so much for not being tall and handsome... like it was somehow a personal failing on my part. Dumb. These days I look at it just like you said, that I'm just unlucky. It's up to me to play the cards I've been dealt the best I can.

Even if I was the shortest, fattest, ugliest guy in all existence... I'd _still_ have every right to at least _try_ to get dates and have some kind of romance in my life. I try to remind myself that it's not my job to eliminate myself from consideration before I even begin, it's my job to make an effort and go after what I want (and not debate with myself whether I deserve it or not).

I'll let all the women I ask out be the ones who eliminate me from consideration, ha ha.


----------



## losthismarbles (Jul 5, 2014)

Elad said:


> thread title: Weight Preferences in Dating
> 
> poll: What are your weight preferences when it comes to dating?
> 
> no one needs to feel bad about their preference when it comes to attraction/dating, nor do i feel they need to defend them


If I'm not mistaken In a Lonely Place's comment was in reference to someones comment about overweight people and how that commenter doesn't like them because it's their fault and they should just become thin because that's so easy. (I'm paraphrasing a lot) In a Lonely Place is not complaining about people stating their preferences. He's complaining about overweight people getting attacked in this thread. 
He can correct me if I'm wrong.


----------



## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Persephone The Dread said:


> I don't blame them for it, I was just unlucky. So I'm not going to feel bad about having the preferences I do.


I think it's a matter of degree though.
It's inevitable that some people will be found more attractive, and by more people, than others. But if what's considered "normal" gets very narrow, that will both frustrate the people that get compared to something they have no chance to live up to, as well as (perhaps ironically) frustrate the people who can't get the things they have learned to like.
It's not even about what particular traits people find attractive necessarily, but more about how many boxes people need to tick and how fully, lest they be considered "settling", if not completely undesirable. And to be honest, I do think people often expect too much of their own lives and of the people they let into their lives.
The same thing is going on with friendships as well.
Simplifying it, it's kind of a matter of whom people feel better than, whom they feel equal to and whom they feel are better than themselves. And hopefully people will include as many as possible in the group they feel equal to - even if that doesn't necessitate romantic attraction.


----------



## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

mezzoforte said:


>


that's literally me when I get stressed out


----------



## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

Attractive face is most important for physical appeal. And attractive face is very subjective because I've been told by former friends that I have bad taste in women. LOL

Sara Rue's transformation can represent various weight sizes(excluding anorexia or obesity). I actually like all of her images, preferably the Before, 30 lbs loss and 40 lbs loss more than the 50 lbs loss. The 50 lbs loss image looks a woman who's way, way above my league. I can't compete with that hotness!


----------



## baloff17 (May 28, 2014)

foe said:


> I actually like all of her images, preferably the Before, 30 lbs loss and 40 lbs loss more than the 50 lbs loss. The 50 lbs loss image looks a woman who's way, way above my league. I can't compete with that hotness!


I wish I had that ability, to choose what kind of woman I was attracted to based on what was realistic for someone in my "league" to actually hope for.

Unfortunately no matter how much I try I just can't do it. The heart (or libido) wants what it wants. :|


----------



## Hikikomori2014 (Sep 8, 2014)

*I am sure everyone is not on the same page in terms of what is:

1) average
2) overweight
3) underweight*


----------



## Violet Romantic (Aug 3, 2014)

Milco said:


> I think it's a matter of degree though.
> It's inevitable that some people will be found more attractive, and by more people, than others. But if what's considered "normal" gets very narrow, that will both frustrate the people that get compared to something they have no chance to live up to, as well as (perhaps ironically) frustrate the people who can't get the things they have learned to like.
> It's not even about what particular traits people find attractive necessarily, but more about how many boxes people need to tick and how fully, lest they be considered "settling", if not completely undesirable. And to be honest, I do think people often expect too much of their own lives and of the people they let into their lives.
> The same thing is going on with friendships as well.
> Simplifying it, it's kind of a matter of whom people feel better than, whom they feel equal to and whom they feel are better than themselves. And hopefully people will include as many as possible in the group they feel equal to - even if that doesn't necessitate romantic attraction.


Can we put this on matching t-shirts and become instant best friends?  :high5



Hikikomori2014 said:


> *I am sure everyone is not on the same page in terms of what is:
> 
> 1) average
> 2) overweight
> 3) underweight*


This it true, which is why I deliberately used the word "noticeably" in the answers. I was implying that it is subjective to each individual. Numbers and specific weights aren't important here. It's more about perceived image, as in what each person deems to be too small, too large, or "just right."


----------



## beli mawr (Dec 18, 2013)

baloff17 said:


> I wish I had that ability, to choose what kind of woman I was attracted to based on what was realistic for someone in my "league" to actually hope for.
> 
> Unfortunately no matter how much I try I just can't do it. The heart (or libido) wants what it wants. :|


Realistically, I wish I could fit anyone into my "league" but no matter what, in my mind even a female Jabba the Hutt look-a-like (not being metaphorical but an honest identical looking creature or even puppet) would be out of my league.


----------



## brooke_brigham (Nov 28, 2013)

basically its like this...if you dont want to date a larger girl thats all fine. I like guys who are in shape myself..BUT...to say ALL overweight people are lazy, no self control, no excuse blah blah blah is just ignorant. Its like when some gay men say theyd never be attracted to a girl, thats fine but then they take it that extra step and say stuff about how they smell like fish and how the vagina is so disgusting etc etc. Like you have your preferences, fine but you have no business condemning people. Should girls say they'd never date a guy with SA because they're all losers? and if they cant be social they need to just get over it?


----------



## diamondheart89 (Mar 21, 2011)

I like skinny and chubby guys. Everything else is gross and should be forced to wear a full snuggie at all times to spare my eyes from seeing it.


----------



## extremly (Oct 25, 2012)

A young Lil Durk saying *loud and clear*: _IDGAF_










his baby moma before he made it.


----------



## Xander916 (May 30, 2014)

Who df is lil durk?


----------



## razzleDazzle2150 (Sep 27, 2014)

heh, I myself have lost a whopping 130 lbs, needless to say, I am not attracted to tubby boys and will only date athletic men.


----------



## baloff17 (May 28, 2014)

My preference is that I lose weight before I start dating. I just can't feel attractive at all if I'm packing any extra pounds. When I'm thin it's much easier to get that confident feeling. There's less of me to love!


----------



## MildSA (Sep 29, 2014)

Slim-to-thick is fine with me as long as they have some semblance of a booty..I'm black so my conditioning has been conditioned.


----------



## SA go0n (Mar 5, 2014)

Xander916 said:


> Who df is lil durk?


 rapper from Chicago.



extremly said:


> A young Lil Durk saying *loud and clear*: _IDGAF_
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I heard she was alright when they first met. LOL at the matching outfits.


----------



## Nms563 (Apr 15, 2013)

I'm attracted to thinner guys but I'm fine with average and chunky too. It really depends on the face and personality.


----------



## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Mr Bacon said:


> I wouldn't be able to be that guy in the pic below, but these kinds of couples are hilarious.
> 
> "_Somebody's got a fat fetish, huh?_" is probably what everyone is thinking when looking at them in public :lol
> 
> [pic]


:lol

Ahaha, OK, that made me burst out laughing... and I needed a good laugh.

Now I feel quite guilty for it. Thanks a LOT, WTF, man!

---

Umm, yeah, preferences - I like 'em underweight... which has an unhealthy tone to it - let's say "under the average" instead.

Only a preference, though - doesn't matter much - underweight, average, whatever.


----------



## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

MildSA said:


> Slim-to-thick is fine with me as long as they have some semblance of a booty..*I'm black so my conditioning has been conditioned.*


:lol


----------



## Juschill (Jul 25, 2014)

for me , if ur attractive to me ur attractive and weight can over ride that. Its okay if you don't find that attractive but lets not shame other people. people think just because someone is overweight, that they are less value of a person and their feelings and everything else go out the window, which i find very sad in todays world.


----------

