# Where do 20-25 year olds hang out? Other than bars...



## Xeros

I'm 23 and lately I've been increasingly more aware of my complete lack of social life. It's always been in the back of my mind, but I just didn't care. I did whatever I could to distract myself and it worked.

But it's been 4 years since I've done anything social with someone other than my parents or sister. I literally haven't talked to anyone other than my family in four years, other than store clerks and people I talk to on the phone at my office.

So where do I go? What do I do? I don't live in the biggest city, in the three cities around me there are around 60,000 people. And being the pathetic person that I am, I studied the demographics and figured that there are 9,888 people 20-29 years old. Of that 9,888 probably 1/3 would have anything in common with me based on income levels, marital status, and education levels. So I have 3263 people who could potentially be friends with.


So where do I go and what do I do? I don't think I could go to a bar, and also don't think I would like the kind of person who enjoys bars. I don't drink and I just can't see myself ever liking someone who goes out to bars every weekend.


So where do these people hang out? Where do people in your towns hang out? Hell, where do you guys hang out if anywhere? I hate coffee, but have been thinking about forcing myself to try and like it so I could go to coffee shops and possibly end up talking to someone.


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## sadsas

Good question, I am quite curious myself, I will be watching this thread for some answers.


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## BrokenMirrors

Good question. I don't really have an answer for you but I'd really like to know myself!  Honestly though I feel like even if I knew _where_ to go I probably still wouldn't have enough courage to actually _go_ anyway, let alone try and make friends :no. I'd like to play Football (soccer) again I used to play in school, or maybe get a band together, but I never even know where to start...:um

What _do_ _you_ like to do? Then maybe go from there...


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## MojoCrunch

I've found that the library is a great place to meet people. Ironic, eh? Places that you'd never expect. Okay...I've met a couple of old weirdo's...but still. I've met some cool people while perusing for a good book.


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## sadsas

I just got an idea, how about Books-a-Million?


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## jmoop

Most people our age can be found in a bar or lounge after hours. That's just the way things are these days.

Think of things people our age like to do (besides drink). There's concerts, anime conventions, theaters (movie and live), coffee shops, malls, museums and the ever popular "home hangout".


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## Kennnie

at there friends house


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## MrSoloDolo123

take up classes in something you enjoy, like art or music or whatever. Chances are there will be other people around your age and they will already have something in common with you.


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## MojoCrunch

Kennnie said:


> at there friends house


This is pretty much it. Most people that age are around friends. At least majority of the people around that age gap I met at a friend/acquaintances place. Or through a family member. Sadly, if you have few of these it will be quite difficult. I'd say aside from public places mentioned above this is the #1 place.


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## IsThereAComputerOption

MojoCrunch said:


> This is pretty much it. Most people that age are around friends. At least majority of the people around that age gap I met at a friend/acquaintances place. Or through a family member. Sadly, if you have few of these it will be quite difficult. I'd say aside from public places mentioned above this is the #1 place.


This thread should be renamed to "Where do 20-25 year with SAS hang out other than their house?"

I heard classes can be good, there aren't any around my area sadly.


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## Iced

Strip Club/Casino


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## MojoCrunch

IsThereAComputerOption said:


> This thread should be renamed to "Where do 20-25 year with SAS hang out other than their house?"


Even if someone with SA has no friends, I'm pretty sure most people with SA have families. And families a lot of the time know people. This is the easiest way. If not, public places and I guess classes if they are in the area.

I forgot to consider how big the city was. When I used to live in a small town with nearly no friends Wal-mart was the place to hang out. If not most people around this age gap meet people through work if they weren't always hanging out at a bar or club.

Dang, this question was harder than I thought. I would like see some more responses myself. The only thing I'm going to say is that most of the people that I met, I met when I specifically didn't want to go to a place where I knew there were lots of people. After I forced myself to go there things kind of randomly happened and both of us happened to be socially anxious people. So, I guess you never know.


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## ImWeird

I work at Starbucks and there are plenty of people in our age group that come here. In fact, most are. I've met a few friends here, as well as my girlfriend. 

*Book stores too!


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## wheels00

try meetup.com??


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## Eia Au

The gym, classes you take for a hobby


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## Hot Chocolate

Usually they go overseas, fishing trips, outings organized by their colleges, attending marriage ceremonies...that's what I get from my previous hearsay from various events.


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## Sapphiress

that's sad you haven't been out in that long.. this is somewhat of a perplexing query to me too though.. My social life has centered around drinking and I like to drink but feel it's cheating at life (among other reasons) so try not to do it a lot.. 
but first off, you don't have to drink coffee to go to a coffee house (those places aren't my cup of tea, pun intended lol, but check em if you think you'll like it) a lot of people drink tea or smoothies and so on.. either physical activities or artistic activities come to my mind. since you're trying to meet new people and aren't doing these things with someone else from the getgo it's harder to detail what there is to do.. basically you're asking where can I hang out by myself? not where people go to hang out.. cuz that would entail the people going together.. which could encompass more options, such as going for walks, nature hikes, beaches or other bodies of water if nearby, playing sports like basketball. of course you could do all those things by yourself, but you'd be less likely to meet someone else, unless you saw people playing basketball and asked to join them.. but then you risk crossing the line of weirdo guy started playing with us lol.. I think that most people meet through jobs and school.. or other school settings such as adult creative classes or whatever.. I've also met a fair amount of people from online, but then the premise was partying and that's what we did.. I started talking to someone recently (like the first person where the premise isn't partying) online and we've sort of agreed to meet up eventually, but not sure how to get beyond that point.. I live in Milwaukee and he lives in Chicago, so it's not that far but still is a ways.. now what will we do?? probably eat food and maybe watch a movie is all I can think of.. or take a walk.. oh man I don't know how I will weather through this when/if it happens lol.. anyways lol, I guess you should be even more specific in your query.. people just don't generally go places to hang out by themselves I suppose.. especially with our dependence on the world wide web =/ So you want to know where you go to meet potential new friends? or where to hang out/what to do with these potential new friends? if you don't have a job get one


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## shadow cougar

I think others have already said it.

There's no point going to a place where you feel you'll only end up meeting people who probably have little in common with you.

All you can do is decide on the person you are, the things you like doing and work from there.

I haven't really socialised in a long time, when I was a teenager I stayed clear from what every other teenager seemed to do, which was go out to clubs and parties and get drunk. What has brought me one step closer to moving away from such isolation is by finding people like me. I am a huge fan of anime and manga, so ages ago when I realised there was a UK Anime Club, I signed up and started meeting like minded people. Ok, so it was online, but I was able to chat with them and that was a starting point. I have now attended 2 anime conventions in the UK over the last couple of years, the first time I even did it by myself. I forced myself to go, I like anime and I will at least have something in common with others who go. I made the effort to get a costume and everything. Ok, so I may not have been that social there really but I found myself actually being able to think to myself "I can actually talk with these people". I also made a new friend who I often chat online with.


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## cflage

see:
bookstores
coffee shops
churches and their young singles groups
malls in general
non-teenybopper clothing outlets
concerts, particularly open air ones in public squares
foot races (5k, 8k, 10k, etc.)
restaurants, particularly Mexican and Chinese
popular hiking trails
popular biking trails
dance clubs
art galleries, esp. on the first Friday of the month
places designated on Meetup.com

see also:
universities in general
student centers at the university
libraries at the university


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## Mae West

cflage said:


> see:
> bookstores
> coffee shops
> churches and their young singles groups
> malls in general
> non-teenybopper clothing outlets
> concerts, particularly open air ones in public squares
> foot races (5k, 8k, 10k, etc.)
> restaurants, particularly Mexican and Chinese
> popular hiking trails
> popular biking trails
> dance clubs
> art galleries, esp. on the first Friday of the month
> places designated on Meetup.com
> 
> see also:
> universities in general
> student centers at the university
> libraries at the university


Nice list!


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## Cody88

Mae West said:


> Nice list!


ditto


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## Fantas Eyes

cflage said:


> churches and their young singles groups


This is how I meet people.


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## bezoomny

Xeros said:


> I'm 23 and lately I've been increasingly more aware of my complete lack of social life. It's always been in the back of my mind, but I just didn't care. I did whatever I could to distract myself and it worked.
> 
> But it's been 4 years since I've done anything social with someone other than my parents or sister. I literally haven't talked to anyone other than my family in four years, other than store clerks and people I talk to on the phone at my office.
> 
> So where do I go? What do I do? I don't live in the biggest city, in the three cities around me there are around 60,000 people. And being the pathetic person that I am, I studied the demographics and figured that there are 9,888 people 20-29 years old. Of that 9,888 probably 1/3 would have anything in common with me based on income levels, marital status, and education levels. So I have 3263 people who could potentially be friends with.
> 
> So where do I go and what do I do? I don't think I could go to a bar, and also don't think I would like the kind of person who enjoys bars. I don't drink and I just can't see myself ever liking someone who goes out to bars every weekend.
> 
> So where do these people hang out? Where do people in your towns hang out? Hell, where do you guys hang out if anywhere? I hate coffee, but have been thinking about forcing myself to try and like it so I could go to coffee shops and possibly end up talking to someone.


If you hate coffee, try ordering a chai tea, cocoa, or a smoothie. Good coffee drinks for beginners are mochas and flavored lattes.


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## Sapphiress

ah church! that's a good one! or if you're not religious there are other positive places like volunteer centers. you're sure to meet some good people who care while volunteering (unless they're all parolees, but you never know lol) 

also, I don't recommend trying to drink/like coffee if you don't like it. caffeine is one thing I've struggled with (I love coffee, I'm drinking decaf right now and feel guilty) and I Know that it is is not good for me. I was drinking caffeine and smoking weed for the past few months but finally had to make myself stop so I could get the show on the road. I quit smoking again like a month ago and then quit caffeine a couple weeks later. I shouldn't be drinking decaf cuz it does have some caffeine but oh well.. I won't make it a habit. I truly can tell you that if caffeine doesn't make you more anxious the next day it undoubtedly will make you more lethargic, whether you're one that realizes it or not.. most people who partake in caffeine consumption "have to" drink it every single day and you don't want to be like that


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## RenegadeReloaded

go do martial arts or sign up for football lessons, tennis, yoga, whatever sport u like

anyway, nice mathematics u have there, but reality isn't like that, fortunately. you can even be friends with persons younger or older than you, and sometimes friends comes from where u least expect


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## Sapphiress

good post ^^ =)


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## Ambitious

Thanks for starting this thread as i need help on what to do myself. I am a heavy binge drinker who is also an addict (currently getting help for this).

I was at my friends house earlier, two friends went cycling together earlier, tomorrow im going swimming, tomorrow 3 other friends are taking a class in a gym (spining classes). 

But i think the gym is a great place to go....and it also helps the anxiety after a hard work out!!!


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## dosomething

*Hobby*

Pick up a hobby if you're smart.
Follow twitter, FB, and read magazines in hair salons, doctor's office's, and such if you're a social climber
Go back to school.
Work and drink after work. Corporate 20-25 year olds are in debt and typically either cave creatures that blow off steam with sex and drinks after work on Friday or Saturday or people who simply go see pre-existing friends far away on weekends.

Also try Downtown. Clubs, dancing or anywhere near water/lakes/ocean. Drunk people love water.


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## jamesd

I can't believe so many people listed church as a viable option. I guess being an atheist has a downside.


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## jimity

Xeros said:


> I'm 23 and lately I've been increasingly more aware of my complete lack of social life. It's always been in the back of my mind, but I just didn't care. I did whatever I could to distract myself and it worked.
> 
> But it's been 4 years since I've done anything social with someone other than my parents or sister. I literally haven't talked to anyone other than my family in four years, other than store clerks and people I talk to on the phone at my office.
> 
> So where do I go? What do I do? I don't live in the biggest city, in the three cities around me there are around 60,000 people. And being the pathetic person that I am, I studied the demographics and figured that there are 9,888 people 20-29 years old. Of that 9,888 probably 1/3 would have anything in common with me based on income levels, marital status, and education levels. So I have 3263 people who could potentially be friends with.
> 
> So where do I go and what do I do? I don't think I could go to a bar, and also don't think I would like the kind of person who enjoys bars. I don't drink and I just can't see myself ever liking someone who goes out to bars every weekend.
> 
> So where do these people hang out? Where do people in your towns hang out? Hell, where do you guys hang out if anywhere? I hate coffee, but have been thinking about forcing myself to try and like it so I could go to coffee shops and possibly end up talking to someone.


To answer a question like that it probably best must not come to SAS because many of us are similar like you.


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## dutchguy

In my town there less then 8000 people. Imagine how locked up I feel.


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## this portrait

I hate bars, too, but lately I've considered going to one just for the sake of having something to do (though I wouldn't drink, because I hate drinking socially).

Coffee shops seem like a good bet. I've been going to the Starbucks closest to my apartment a lot lately, and it seems like the people who work there have grown accustomed to seeing me there now. I haven't had much luck at bookstores, but then I usually keep to myself when I go to those, and I don't seem to go to them as much as I used to.

It seems like the most common place people in the 20-25-year-old range meet new people are at "house parties." I can't say I've ever been to one, and to be quite honest, I don't want to go to one. They seem like they would be more out of control than bars. :/


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## Paragon

House parties would be cool, i actually like them, if i knew any people who had them :/


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## productofthestate

What's wrong with bars though? Being a young person, I'd think it'd be worthwhile to go to the bar once in awhile. Go to a bar where there's some kind of entertainment going on also so it's not all about the drinking. Bring your family with ya if you don't wanna go alone. Then split up so you can chat with people on your own


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## Paragon

Seems difficult to talk to people at bars. It's mostly groups of friends hanging out, and men trying to hit on women. That's just been my experiences anyway. I could probably deal with approaching one person, trying to entertain a group is kinda out of my depth.

I have had random conversations with people in bars before but they're pretty rare, for me, and have never lead to anything. Smoking is a good way to start a conversation, but... bad habit, lol.


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## Candlejack

dutchguy said:


> In my town there less then 8000 people. Imagine how locked up I feel.


Hey there are less than 400 people in this town. And they all know me :/

Now imagine how locked up I feel.


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## DazdNConfuzd

Join a club if possible. It could be anything. Take up a new sport, go to art classes, whatever. Interacting with people who share the same interests as you would be a great help.

I've been out of school for 6 years now and don't keep in contact with anybody from my school. All the friends I have now I met on my football team. I know it's difficult, I was in the same situation as you a few years ago, but it's never too late to forge new relationships.


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## clt851988

a mall
coffee places
work
school
any clubs/sports teams
All my close friends I met from high school or college.


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