# feeling empty after having fun



## chompers

Does anybody else feel like this? I'm an introvert and I like time alone, but I find that if I spend time with someone I like who I enjoy talking to and being around, I come home and feel incredibly lonely afterwards. 

It's really weird, like even though I did something and felt a connection with someone, it makes me feel more lonely than if I stayed home alone or just did something by myself. 

Maybe it's because I think about how much I like them and then that inevitably I don't really know how they feel about me, they probably don't like me as much as I like them, maybe they didn't have as much fun with me as I did with them, etc. etc. 

I wish I didn't have these pointless self defeating thoughts and feelings uke

On the other hand, if I'm stuck in a situation where I have to be around people I don't like or who make me uncomfortable, I'm relieved to get away from them and happy to be on my own. 

I feel like I get too attached to people and I don't know how to not do this :S

And then sometimes I even feel like I should do compensating behaviour like being standoffish to protect myself. So dumb.


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## LookOutTheWindow

I'm exactly the same. I get the same feelings of emptiness after having hanged out with my best friend.


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## lordseshomaru86

I know that feeling intimately. I was afraid I was the only one! I've been looking into reasons why and I thought I might be anhedonic, like I just can't bear feeling good about anything.


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## Just Lurking

Everyone deals with a 'come-down effect' after doing something they enjoy. 

It would hit harder than normal for someone who's already lonely or depressed, but everyone does deal with this to an extent (depressed and socially anxious, or not).


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## aMcPanda

Samesies! I think its like.. I have this cup of good feelings.. and when I'm with people, its like slowly pouring out all the happy. Then when I get home, Its empty and I feel kind of sad and lonely, and I have to recharge in order to fill the cup back up.. but while its empty I feel sort of awful. So I just flip on a video game and ignore life until I feel better.. perhaps not the healthiest thing.. but you certainly aren't alone.


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## rdrr

I def understand these feelings. I guess it's why I push myself so hard to socialize and meet new people.


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## givinganonion

chompers said:


> Does anybody else feel like this? I'm an introvert and I like time alone, but I find that if I spend time with someone I like who I enjoy talking to and being around, I come home and feel incredibly lonely afterwards.
> 
> It's really weird, like even though I did something and felt a connection with someone, it makes me feel more lonely than if I stayed home alone or just did something by myself.
> 
> Maybe it's because I think about how much I like them and then that inevitably I don't really know how they feel about me, they probably don't like me as much as I like them, maybe they didn't have as much fun with me as I did with them, etc. etc.
> 
> I wish I didn't have these pointless self defeating thoughts and feelings uke
> 
> On the other hand, if I'm stuck in a situation where I have to be around people I don't like or who make me uncomfortable, I'm relieved to get away from them and happy to be on my own.
> 
> I feel like I get too attached to people and I don't know how to not do this :S
> 
> And then sometimes I even feel like I should do compensating behaviour like being standoffish to protect myself. So dumb.


I'm definitely like this, both that the way I'm used to living comes out pretty badly compared to spending time with others, and being so happy if some event with people I'm not comfortable with doesn't work out.


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## chompers

Thanks for the replies everyone. This is something I realize happens to me a lot, but I never really made the connection of what made me feel bad. I guess I still don't really know. Lately it has been a lot more pronounced, especially because I've been hanging out with new people, so I'm not really secure in the relationship and am just getting to know them. But I also have it with old friends :S
@Just Lurking thanks for that. I get this comedown feeling also after finishing a book I really like, or doing some kind of project that took up a lot of my attention. But then it's more of an ennui like I don't know what to do with myself, rather than this feeling of crushing insecurity I'm getting from enjoying people's company.

Maybe this is just pure self loathing seeping out of my sub conscious. I kind of thought I'd gotten rid of it but I guess it found a stronghold in there somewhere. I wish I didn't feel like I'm fighting myself all the time, it's so pointless and exhausting...


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## Just Lurking

I just had a family dinner outing tonight, and just came off a week-long family trip to Las Vegas.

The post-outing emptiness is in full force here.


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## iCod

I felt that too back in the day.


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## Penguinfan

I thought I was the only one who feels depressed after hanging with friends. I spend a good part of today with my friend, and now that I'm home I'm depressed that I'm lonely again rather than happy that I actually did something today instead of sitting at home.


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## Mattsy94

I can relate to this so much. Whenever I'm having a good time with my friends, I am always thinking in the back of my mind: "This is gonna be over soon. I don't want this to end. I wanna stay here forever and not go back home and be alone and depressed again". It's like no matter what I do I always end up depressed again in the end.


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## Demure

AAH! Get out of my mind! This describes me SO well!!!

When I feel this way, I like to take a walk. It's nice and peaceful. You just take in your surroundings and by the time you come back, that weird, lonely feeling is gone.


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