# My dad hates me, please help.



## nevermorex (Dec 5, 2017)

Hello, I've been basically living in hell for years now. To give you some backstory, my dad isn't my real dad. My mom was sexually assaulted when she was about 19. He obviously knows I'm not his kid, that was before they got together. I think it's the main reason he treats me like a burning bag of dog poop. However, I treat him like my dad. I say I love you, do things for him, etc. It's been years since I heard him say "I love you too", and I say it every time I'm saying goodbye. He treats my little sister (she is biologically his) like a queen. I've always tried calling out the favoritism since I was like 14, but they obviously deny it. But I see it with my eyes. They buy her everything she wants. She has 4 guitars, gaming consoles, she has FREE RUN on the nice car they have, and she is only 15 with her temps. I should also add my sister is mentally an 8 year old and she shouldn't be driving. They actually have plans to give that car to her when they buy a new one soon. 
Meanwhile... I've been moved out of their house for about a year now. I haven't had much luck finding a job (I live in a small town, there's not many jobs to go around it seems...) so I've been living off of my roommate. He's great, he understands the problems I'm going through currently and I'm basically his cleaning and cooking wench. Now, I don't ask my parents for anything, even though I go hungry almost every day because I don't want to eat my roommates food and I'm in the worst situation I've ever been in. It's so bad that I'm on the verge of doing anything for money. Anyways... when I ask them for help, I'm met with my dad yelling about me in the background (if he picks up the phone and it's me, he immediately hands the phone off to mom). I'm not a bad person, I've had many jobs, I work hard for things. I don't understand why my parents refuse to help me. I just want my dad to realize how terrible he is to me. I literally only hear him yelling about me, every time I get to talk to them. Needless to say, I hardly call them anymore. My parents are alcoholics who spend $200-300 on scratch-offs almost every day. My dad is an angry drunk, mom just gets really stupid. He usually likes to argue about things they helped me with. Once he helped me get a car because I was looking to move out of their house a year ago (probably the single nicest thing he's done for me, even though he did it so my sister had her own room and I'd be out of the picture), but little did I know that this car was basically dead. I drove it for a month before it stranded me on the side of the road in the middle of the winter. He knew what condition it was in, and still wanted me to pay it back, which I did. And then I lost my job and haven't been able to find one since because I couldn't get to work. 

I'm sorry about the huge paragraph, I have so many things I want to say but I guess that's the gist of it. How can I get my dad to stop treating me this way? I feel like a ghost, one that has no family to rely on when things get really bad. I've tried talking to him in the past about why he treats me this way, but he just gets more angry and mentally abusive. All I want is to feel wanted by my family. I've been striving for this since I was 15 and realized that my dad treated me much different than my sister. At this point, my grandmother has been much more supportive than anyone in my immediate family. She drops by and gives me a little food money now and then, and I love her so much for it, even though she really can't afford to do so. It makes me feel so bad. I don't know how I will dig myself out of this rut.

Thanks for sticking through the long post and helping me, if someone does.. I just don't know how to get through to my dad.


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

You can't change him. It's out of your control. Alcoholics aren't known for being good listeners, and he's invested decades in treating you badly so he wouldn't be able to handle admitting he was wrong all that time.

Probably the best thing you can do is apply for jobs in another city where there's more opportunity, and move away.


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## waterfairy (Oct 20, 2016)

You can't change people, unfortunately. I know it's hard, but I think you should cut them out of your life completely. They're only doing you harm. You'll just have to stick it out and keep looking for jobs. Good luck with everything


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## Anxiety Is In the Past (Aug 15, 2017)

Talk with your sister and mom about this.Get together and have a discussion the four of you or just confront your dad about it


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