# Do you have a written **** list?



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Apparently my dad has numerous lists. He sent one to my sister about a year and a half ago when he wasn't talking to me. My sister showed it to me and on it were all the bad things I had done in the past including not calling him for 2 months when I first got to Japan (age 20), not helping out with housework and refusing to go to school when my mom got leukemia (age 12-17), and even how I almost killed my mom when I was born (she bled profusely). Just the other day he told me that he has made up a new list on all the horrible things I said to upset him on my visit last summer. He also has lists on why his brother is a jerk. I'm sure he has a few about my sister too.

Is it normal to keep a written sh*t list? Do you keep one? What would you think if you found out a friend or a family member had one about you?




From Urban Dictionary:

Sh*t List	
A sh*t list is a mental list of things or people that have annoyed you recently. usually completed in a mental top 10 of annoyances for the most recent times and used as a public display of annoyance without offending people directly.


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## SweetNSour82 (Dec 19, 2011)




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## melissa75 (Feb 16, 2010)

That's horrible . I would want to confront him about it, although I kinda suck at confrontation myself. Geez, what an angry man your dad is. He needs help.

And, no, I definitely don't keep lists of this nature. But, I don't hold grudges. No one's perfect. People make mistakes and should be forgiven. Who are we to judge? And, things happen that are just out of our control and not our fault at all (as the case when you were born!).


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

That reminds me of the scene in Rain Man where he notes down his brother hurting him. I keep records of everything but have never had a list specifically for that.


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## Secretly Pretentious (Dec 18, 2011)

Making a sh1t list sounds like a very negative idea to me. It just reinforces a grudge against someone and makes forgiveness that much harder. Why not make a happy list about everything good about another person?

Showing someone a sh1t list made about them is just cruel, vindictive, and borderline abusive. I'm so sorry that your dad made you read that. It must have been quite painful. I know that I'd be crushed if one of my parents did that to me.


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## GaaraAgain (Oct 10, 2011)

I don't keep an actual **** list, just a mental note of who to avoid/ignore for a while after they've done something to piss me off. I never remember what that initial annoyance was though and so I usually get over it in a few days.

The fact that your dad keeps actual, written lists is... strange. Maybe he *really* wants to remember that he's upset and why he's upset. I agree with the above poster. Seems like a very negative thing to do. Have you talked to him about it at all? Is that even something you want to do?


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## Catnap (Dec 5, 2011)

Wow, I can't imagine reading such things from one of my parents, even if my dad is kind of mean; that's a bit far :sus. 

I don't keep a list, physically or mentally, but when I was deciding whether to stay with or leave my ex boyfriend, I did write a list of pros and cons in my journal about the relationship and him in particular, not meant to share but just to help me make up my mind.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

what a bitter, resentful, heavy load of crap to carry. reminds me of Jacob Marley and all those chains.

don't allow him to make you feel guilty.


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## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

I've never heard of someone doing that. I hold grudges forever, but I don't need to write everything down. 

How could someone consciously blame a child for problems in the mother's pregnancy or labor? That's more his fault (since he caused the pregnancy) than yours. I guess it's possible he felt guilt over it and it's easier to blame you than himself?


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

He sounds very bitter and resentful. No I don't have such a list written or in my head. I can remember these things of recollect them if I want but I don't make sure I have it written down anywhere so I can reference it. He has to learn to let things go and stop blaming other people for things when he's probably done things just as bad if not worse. I think keeping something like that around just reveals someone's immaturity and inability to let things go.


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## Embassy (Feb 21, 2011)

.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

melissa75 said:


> That's horrible . I would want to confront him about it, although I kinda suck at confrontation myself. Geez, what an angry man your dad is. He needs help.
> 
> And, no, I definitely don't keep lists of this nature. But, I don't hold grudges. No one's perfect. People make mistakes and should be forgiven. Who are we to judge? And, things happen that are just out of our control and not our fault at all (as the case when you were born!).





carambola said:


> I've never heard of someone doing that. I hold grudges forever, but I don't need to write everything down.
> 
> How could someone consciously blame a child for problems in the mother's pregnancy or labor? That's more his fault (since he caused the pregnancy) than yours. I guess it's possible he felt guilt over it and it's easier to blame you than himself?


That part about me almost killing my mom was just like ...how is he coming up with this stuff?? Unfortunately, I did inherit some of his characteristics and I do hold grudges against him too. I don't write it down on a list though!!

We have gotten into confrontations before and we both start slinging mud from 20 years ago at each other. I'm kind of stuck with him cause most everyone else in my family is dead or I never knew them in the first place. So it's just him and my sister (I won't count the evil step-mother).



Secretly Pretentious said:


> Making a sh1t list sounds like a very negative idea to me. It just reinforces a grudge against someone and makes forgiveness that much harder. Why not make a happy list about everything good about another person?
> 
> Showing someone a sh1t list made about them is just cruel, vindictive, and borderline abusive. I'm so sorry that your dad made you read that. It must have been quite painful. I know that I'd be crushed if one of my parents did that to me.


No, actually he didn't want me to see it and told my sister not to show it to me but she did anyways. Talking on the phone with him recently made me think that he probably has numerous sh*t lists.

I thought it was strange and I just wanted to see what other people thought about it.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

88% responding "no" all around... Right... 

Unless you're a robot, *you have a s*** list*. The difference from person to person is how difficult it is to get on theirs and how conscious they are of it. But there's no denying that everyone has one.

To write it all down, though (much less with all the details), seems way overkill and to me, suggests that person has some serious issues.


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## Tentative (Dec 27, 2011)

How awful. If someone did something which really annoyed me I'm sure I'd remember it. I wouldn't have the need to write it down on paper and keep it laying around. If I was so annoyed with someone I surely wouldn't want to invest any more time into them anyway. My answer is no, but I do have a mental one.

I have no clue as to why he would do something like that. :| I guess your father is somewhat stubborn and has a hard time forgiving you, even for things you are not guilty of doing at all. Did he really keep the list laying around? Like someone else already said: maybe it was all done in the heat of the moment?


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

Not a written one, no. If I don't remember what they did, it must not have been a big deal.


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## SweetNSour82 (Dec 19, 2011)

Just Lurking said:


> 88% responding "no" all around... Right...
> 
> Unless you're a robot, *you have a s*** list*. The difference from person to person is how difficult it is to get on theirs and how conscious they are of it. But there's no denying that everyone has one.
> 
> To write it all down, though (much less with all the details), seems way overkill and to me, suggests that person has some serious issues.


Actually you're right, I do.


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

Just Lurking said:


> 88% responding "no" all around... Right...
> 
> Unless you're a robot, *you have a s*** list*. The difference from person to person is how difficult it is to get on theirs and how conscious they are of it. But there's no denying that everyone has one.
> 
> To write it all down, though (much less with all the details), seems way overkill and to me, suggests that person has some serious issues.


Maybe I do, but it's very small and only reserved for those who did things that greatly affected me emotionally and personally. I just wouldn't use the terminology "**** list" because it's not that large of a "list" so I wouldn't even really call it a "list" because it's not that much, and that just makes it sound like you're unable to let things to and hold grudges, which I don't do that often unless like I said, what they did really affected me.

So I wouldn't call it a "**** list", but I remember traumatic emotional experiences or times when I feel like I was wronged, yes.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

I don't really have a written one. I do tend to keep grudges towards people though, and occasionally bring stuff up when people piss me off xDDD. Actually writing it down though would be kinda boring, and the list would probably go on forever, so meh ><


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

I have heard of someone who keeps a list of all the people that have pissed him off. I thought that was pretty negative. Ignore what your dad is doing with those lists. It's extremely negative.


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## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

I would be concerned for someone's mental health if I found they were writing lists of all the bad or mean things people did to them, especially their kids. It throws up a red flag in my mind. That would scare me.


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## BlazingLazer (Jul 16, 2011)




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## TheDaffodil (Jun 20, 2009)

I don't even have a mental one I don't think.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Just wanted to update:

Talked to my sister yesterday about how she sent him a text message saying she sent me a b-day present and he got all weird. Somehow it ended up with him asking her if she ever sent him any presents and then asking her to apologize for past transgressions. And he was going to forward her a new sh*t list he made about her. I think he felt that she was making him feel bad for not sending a present.


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

Your dad appears to have some mental problems. Did he behave this way when you were growing up?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Still Waters said:


> Your dad appears to have some mental problems. Did he behave this way when you were growing up?


Yeah, he's always had problems but it's getting much worse with age. Especially since retirement it's been getting bad. He used to be a high school teacher in a bad part of LA. So before he at least had his students and fellow teachers to talk to. Now he is getting more isolated and alone with his thoughts. My step-mother isn't of much use. She just agrees with whatever weird theories he has and has her own issues. Plus she is getting really old. She is 78 and my dad is 62. They do travel and go to lots of places and stuff (museums, aquariums, Las Vegas, zoos, etc.) but neither of them has close friends.


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## MoonlightSky (Mar 24, 2012)

No I don't, and I don't really think it's a particularly good idea to have one either because it would just always be reinforcing the negativity about people and life in general. It's better to try and forgive things, and by keep reminding yourself of it, that isn't going to happen.


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

Sounds like he's always felt attacked so hordes "proof" of how he's been wronged over the years to justify his feelings. Being so isolated,provides endless time to ruminate and build up his stash of anger and injustice. He's a bitter,little man.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

BlazingLazer said:


>


When I was 12, and a very angry kid, I made a "hate list" of all the people in school I hated. Eventually I tore it up because I didn't want someone to find it and think I was gonna shoot up the school. lol.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

I just keep it all in my head.


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## MiMiK (Aug 25, 2011)

thats ****ed up komorikun :hug

side note: do you know the name of the school ur father was a teacher at? just curious...


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## enzo (May 30, 2011)

Mental notes is the best I can do. Don't have the energy to maintain lists. 

I'll admit that this isn't what I thought the thread would be about, seeing the title.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

MiMiK said:


> thats ****ed up komorikun :hug
> 
> side note: do you know the name of the school ur father was a teacher at? just curious...


I don't know if I should say the name. It's in South-Central LA.



enzo said:


> Mental notes is the best I can do. Don't have the energy to maintain lists.
> 
> I'll admit that this isn't what I thought the thread would be about, seeing the title.


What did you think it was about? I had originally put sh*t in the title but the mods changed it.


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## MiMiK (Aug 25, 2011)

komorikun said:


> I don't know if I should say the name. *It's in South-Central LA*.


yea, thats why i was a bit curious lol, he might have been a teacher in one of the school i attended . alright i'am off to bed :blank


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

Its another word for a grudge bank, for people who like to hold on to past hurts.


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## moloko (May 1, 2013)

I do this mentally and wish I didn't because I don't want to. I'm not vengeful though, not at all, not even once. It's just very hard for me to let go of something someone did that hurt me.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

Used to, but it was more of a list of people to avoid and reminders of the reasons why to.

Now? Nah. Life's too short and mentally keeping score is a bad habit I'm trying to get out of. I already have enough trouble not viewing relationships with people as competitions that I always have to win.


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## JH1983 (Nov 14, 2013)

No. When I was younger I fanaticized about revenge and spent time dwelling on anger and hatred and it became toxic for me. I let all that stuff go and feel much better for it.


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## Steve French (Sep 17, 2012)

Man, I ought to read a thread before posting, somebody got to Steve Buscemi before me.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

I have a couple people I don't like but not a written out **** list or anything. I tend to forget about these kind of things and am too passive (/lovely and wonderful a human being) to bother with people I don't care for. But if I find out something awful happened to them I'm not above internally reveling in their misery. Thankfully atm I don't have an active ****list, just an inactive one.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

There's quite a few people from my past i would like to stomp with steel toe boots, but for me it's out of sight, out of mind. I don't spend my wake up time hating them or thinking about what i would do to them if i got my hands on them. They're not worth the effort.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

No. I don't have a mental one either. There are people I don't like, but I don't really keep a list in my head.


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## ItsEasierToRun (Feb 2, 2013)

I have a 'S*** I gotta do' list, but not a s*** list in that sense..
That's just like documenting negativity, completely counter-productive..


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## markwalters2 (Mar 18, 2013)

That is very immature and your dad definitely needs help. I only keep a hit list, which I update often.


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## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

Always wanted to keep a list but never got around to it. Though now I don't know enough people in my life to really have a proper list.


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## Colt45ws (Nov 17, 2013)

Thats very disturbing.
I pretty much just have a mental list of people to avoid and why. Unfortunately two people managed to make it onto my list this week. A new record.


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## Whatev (Feb 6, 2012)

No but I read about some. 


The Perfect Dump -
Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing 
of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a 
smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace
of an expert diver. But that's not the end of it. You use some toilet tissue only to find 
that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right with the world and you 
are in perfect harmony with it.

The Beer Dump -
Talk about nasty dumps. Depending on the dumper's tolerance, the beer dump is the end 
result of too many beers. it could have been 2 or 22, it doesn't matter. What you get is 
a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by a malevolent fog that could close a 
bathroom for days.

The Chili Dump- 
Hot when it goes in, and rocket fuel when it leaves. The chili dump stays with you all day, 
making your tush feel like a heat shield.

The Cable Dump - 
Long, curly and perfectly formed like 2 feet of E13 telephone CO-axial cable. It loops lazily 
around the bowl, like a friendly serpent. You wonder admiringly, "DID I DO THAT? Where 
did it come from?" you leave the bathroom pleased with yourself. 

The Latrine Dump - 
In case you didn't know, a latrine is a hole in the ground with a tent around it where 
soldiers, boy scouts and flies go to dump. Tip: Don't ever, ever look in the hole. 

The Mona Lisa Dump - 
This is the masterpiece of dumps. It's as perfectly formed as it can be. Delicate and 
slender with intricacies that would make da Vinci weep. And just think, you made it yourself. 
You may even want to break out the Polaroid, but maybe that's going a bit too far.

The Empty Roll Dump - 
You're done...you reach for the toilet paper only to discover that empty cardboard cylinder. 
A mild panic begins coldly in your throat. You could use the curtains...no, someone would 
say "Where are the curtains?" Then what would you say? The rug?...too cumbersome. Then 
you must come to the same conclusion that every "empty roll dumper" must face...Pull up 
your slacks, tighten your tush and wriggle yourself to the nearest full roll.

The Splash Back Dump -
You send the dump on its way, it drops like a depth charge into the bowl creating a column 
of cold bowl water that washes your bottom with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now you're 
wet and embarrassed. Blot instead of wiping.

The Aborted Dump -
You are in mid-dump when the phone rings. What do you do? ABORT! Pinch it off, go for 
the phone, and save the rest for later. It isn't pretty, but you've gotta do what you gotta do.

The Caesarian Dump -
Pain, that's what this dump and childbirth have in common. Its simply a case of too much 
dump trying to go through too small a hole, and there's no obstetrician to help.

The Alfresco Dump -
Everyone has had to go outdoors from time to time. This can be a rather pleasant 
experience really. The open air, the nature, and a good bush all contribute to the peaceful
ambiance that our primitive forefathers must have enjoyed. What can screw up this
harmonious interlude is a troop of brownies or a patch of poison ivy.

The Childbirth Dump -
This is a dump that is simply too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for 
the purpose. You sit there, thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and it isn't going
to get any better. You wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the 
newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf". You realize you'll 
have to resolve the crisis before you can leave the bathroom. Basically there are only 
three things you can do:
Scream
Call an Obstetrician
Hope like hell have enough Vaseline to get you through it.

The Tijuana Trot Dump -
The phrase "**** Happens" really applies here in a big way. When the ice in your tainted 
margarita makes contact with your lower intestinal tract, the fun begins. For the next 72
hours you'd be better off if you carried your own portable toilet with you because you will 
spend most of that time on the pot and the rest of the time in a fetal position. Now you 
realize why Mexico never had a navy. The Machine Gun Dump -
You're just sitting there in a state of sublime peace when all of a sudden you emit a group 
of noisy gassy bursts that break the silence like machine gun fire. The guy in the next stall
hits the floor like a combat veteran cradling his umbrella like an M16...damn commies.

The Sound Effect Dump -
You feel a noisy one coming on. Relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot, so you
must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to
emit. Timing is obviously very important here. At the precise moment of release, try 
the following sound effects:
Flush the toilet
Sing the first two stanzas of your national anthem
Drop a handful of quarters on the floor

The Security Dump -
You have enough on your mind when you're in the bathroom without worrying about a 
lockless door and someone bursting in to find you in mid-dump mode. So how can you 
prevent this embarrassing spectacle from taking place? One way is to strategically
place your foot against the door. If you can't reach to do this...hum loudly.

The Cling-On Dump -
For the most part you've completed your dump, but there's one little morsel that refuses 
to drop off. You're getting impatient. Someone else wants to use your stall. So, you grip the 
seat with both hands and wriggle, twist and pump but that last little stubborn piece just 
hangs there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the bowl water. Maybe 
the person pounding impatiently on the door has scissors.

The Houdini Dump -
You go, then you stand up to flush, and the darn thing has disappeared. Where'd it go? Did it
creep down the pipe? Did you dream the whole thing? Is it lurking out of sight? Should you
wipe...maybe you should just to make sure you went. Should you flush? You'd better, because
if you don't, you know it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in.

The Flu Dump -
You feel so bad that you don't know which end of you to put down first. You have roaring 
cramps, so you sit down. Then a wave of nausea rolls over you like a cold fog, so you stand 
up and cramps squeeze your intestines like a vice so you sit down again...up down up down. 
Don't you wish Mom were close by?

The Porta-Pottie Dump -
Construction workers and outdoor concert goers will tell you about going in a portable toilet. 
My best description would be, "Its like taking a **** in an upright coffin". Its claustrophobic 
and it smells bad...best advice...go in a paper cup.

The Proctologist Dump -
In the beginning, the lord created the earth, the sky and the firmament, but I hope he 
didn't create this dump, because there is nothing biblical about it, you run out of gas. 
That's right, you run out of propulsion. The dump is right there at the end of your barrel 
and refuses to go any further. You grunt, you squeeze, you wriggle but it just stays there 
like a lump of lead. You've only got two choices here. One is to squeeze the damn thing back
up your intestine and wait until next time. The other is to pretend you're a proctologist and 
go after it yourself. Not a pretty picture is it??

The Whole Roll Dump -
No matter how much you wipe, it doesn't seem to be enough. You blow the whole roll and you 
have to flush 25 times too. The whole episode is consumer waste.

The Graffiti Dump -
You flush the dump and the swirling motion of the receding bowl water forces the dump to 
the porcelain sides, scraping a creative squiggle on its way down. You flush again but the 
curlicue hangs there...love it or leave it. It's your choice.

The Encore Dump - 
Ahhhh, you're done, so you wipe, put yourself together, wash your hands and are about to 
vacate the bathroom when you feel another dump coming. You have to return for a curtain 
call. The world's record is seven encores.

The Born Again Dump -
This is a dump that's going so badly, you say "Lord, if I live through this, I'll take up religion"
you always get through it, but seldom keep the promise you made in desperation, because 
a born again dump is like childbirth...you forget the pain quickly.


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## DarrellLicht (Mar 9, 2013)

I made a written 'list of people to kill' on my folder in elementary school :lol

I don't feel I hold grudges for too long. But I may be lying about that. I just overall try not to pay much attention to whomever is an irritant.

I don't think its acceptable for somebody in a parental role to be this petty and vindictive. Sounds like the concept of 'give and take' is lost on this guy.. Condolences for having to deal with that.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

What is weird is that he calls me often. Probably 4 or more times a week. Then again he has almost no friends, so only has me and my sister to talk sh*t about my stepmother and her crazy children.

He's only offered to pay for that one trip to LA a couple years ago though. I came back to the US 4 1/2 years ago and have only seen him twice in that time. This was after being out of the country for 4 years.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

komorikun said:


> What is weird is that he calls me often. Probably 4 or more times a week. Then again he has almost no friends, so only has me and my sister to talk sh*t about my stepmother and her crazy children.


 Does he talk about anything else when he calls?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

WillYouStopDave said:


> Does he talk about anything else when he calls?


Yeah, sure. He gives me lengthy talks on what museum/zoo/botanical gardens he went to. Or the latest issues with the bike path or the condo assocation. Sometimes he tries to tell me about his crazy racist conspiracy theories but I put a stop to that one. Lately we have been discussing my sister a lot and her leach of a boyfriend. We both agree that she should dump him. He has various theories as to why she is with this guy now.

I used to just let him go on and on about himself but now I force him to listen to my gripes and obsessive thoughts on things.

As he is getting older he likes more and more to reminisce about the past (me too). I don't really care to hear about some distant relative that I never met and I get annoyed when he seems so nostalgic about his great uncle or whatever when he really doesn't try to get together with me or my sister much at all. But stuff about my mom, when I was a kid, or when he was a kid is interesting.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

My god. He is still bringing up that 2011 trip. I asked him today why he hasn't called the past few weeks. He said that I said something offensive. Then he repeatedly refused to tell me what was so offensive. I have no memory of this. We didn't even have an argument or anything. Then he brings up the 2011 trip (the last time I saw him) as an example of my horrible "behavior." Said he deserves a big apology for it.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f24/excommunicate-family-1374985/#post1083454281


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## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

No, not even a mental one. I couldn't remember things people did to annoy me even if I wanted to. I would definitely forget too many points to be satisfied with it, lol. Anyway, I don't want to remember what people did to annoy me, I want to get over it.

Sorry to hear that. That is definitely not normal.  Wow, 90 people and not a single person said yes.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I've never written a list like this. I don't tend to dwell on things, and I have a really hard time holding grudges. I get angry fast, and get over it fast. (Usually.)

I do tend to remember the bad behavior of people I don't like more easily than their good behavior, but I don't actively try to remember and keep track of that stuff. I guess I just recall it more vividly because it gets a stronger reaction out of me.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

komorikun said:


> My god. He is still bringing up that 2011 trip. I asked him today why he hasn't called the past few weeks. He said that I said something offensive. Then he repeatedly refused to tell me what was so offensive. I have no memory of this. We didn't even have an argument or anything. Then he brings up the 2011 trip (the last time I saw him) as an example of my horrible "behavior." Said he deserves a big apology for it.
> 
> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f24/excommunicate-family-1374985/#post1083454281


Don't write a ****-list over this, but if your Dad somehow made it into my circle of friends, I'd drop him quicker than a sack of ****-lists.


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## Steve French (Sep 17, 2012)

No **** list, only a hit list.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

It sounds so troublesome, unproductive and extra effort to keep a grudge list. I rather spend my effort on something more positive, worthwhile and rewarding. Something that will cheer me up instead of bringing me down.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

I have a mentality of "forgiven, but not forgotten" for the most part. If i get upset however then sh1t from the past can come back to me about that person and i will hold it against them for the time that i am mad. Idk if this is normal or whatever, because i do think it is good to not forget things, but i don't like the idea of being more upset about something than justified because of past "injustices". I feel like we should live to smack a person across the head in the moment, instead of holding a grudge that accumulates lol.


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## Sus y (Aug 30, 2017)

I did one of my nephew :blush, I was partially taking care of him during some past vacation, so I kept a list of bad things he was doing to tell everyday to his mom because I was not going to scold him, my nephew knew about the list but it didn't stopped him of doing things he knew he shouldn't do (it was a poor/bad strategy from my side). I previously also had a list of his mom lol, so I wrote everything to read to her after a month or, thinking that if she could see all the many daily things she was doing that annoyed me she would stop, because she couldn't realize of how much it was as they were just "small daily things". The moment she told me I was too difficult to live with I read her the list and she was "ok, fine, you are right, I get it". I didn't do it with a bad intention like to make them feel bad or for revenge, it was more of a way to make them conscious of how much I was dealing with because all the things they were doing that were affecting me. 

What you -OP- are dealing with is not cool at all, hope you are ok, I guess your dad may be needing some kind of therapy to overcome their feelings, specially guilty ones that he may be projecting to you.


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