# An ugly girl approaches you...



## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

It's clear she's gonna ask you out. What do you do?

Disclaimer: I am not interested in starting a discussion about what is ugly or beautiful. Just imagine a woman that you, yourself, perceive as ugly.


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## CallmeIshmael (Sep 4, 2016)

I'm stuck between yes and no. Not sure about what ugly entails but I'd like to think I would give it a chance to see what could happen, I am pretty desperate at this point. I also think I might say no just because I would feel that fear of "I'm not good enough for her" even if she is ugly. I still worry they might like me now but what if they don't once they really get to know me. I think I would give it a chance, so sure yeah I'll do it.


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## Worried Cat Milf (May 20, 2016)

Turn her down. Not into chicks like that.


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

TheWelshOne said:


> It's clear she's gonna ask you out. What do you do?
> 
> Disclaimer: I am not interested in starting a discussion about what is ugly or beautiful. Just imagine a woman that you, yourself, perceive as ugly.


Last time a woman as you describe did that I went silent, as wasn't sure how to answer it. But I actually liked her, she had a good personality and was attracted to that, which made her more attractive to me.

It started off with me complimenting what she was wearing (I was being honest, it looked nice on her).

Why I didn't ask her out, was I felt inferior to her and felt she could do better than me due to my life problems (women have rejected me because of it). 

She thought, said I must like pretty women only. But no. I liked her too, just the above with life problems, etc went through my mind and didn't want to get rejected again. 

It's not always as you think, it's not always looks related. Sometimes us men act a certain way based on bad life experiences.


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

Non merci.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Depends on how desperate I was for sex. If I was already getting laid, I'd tell her thanks but no thanks.

If I hadn't had sex in a long while, I might go out with her. Maybe to IHOP. Something cheap, since I don't want to spend much money on an ugly girl. Or I'd ask her if she wanted to watch a movie at my place, order some pizza delivery. Give her a few strong cocktails. Turn the lights down real low (so I don't have to look at her) then feel up her boobs and ask her to blow me.


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## jackson21 (Nov 22, 2016)

Say no and laugh at her. I've already got 8 relationships going I don't need some ugly chick.


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## Riff Raff (Nov 25, 2016)

I would basically say NO in a nice way. 
Like I would say something like... I really am not interested in dating anybody at this time... or I would make some other excuse why I cant get together with her. 
that is the polite thing to do. 

There is never any reason to hurt somebody and say something mean to them.


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## Mr A (Oct 7, 2015)

If she was truly ugly I would just let her down easy, and I wouldn't get with her. If she was decent looking/cute, and we also had a lot in common, I might go for her, because to tell you the truth it's more important for me to get a partner who has a similar lifestyle (shut-in) and personality (shy, socially anxious, accepting), than to get a stunner GF who is a... well... b1tch.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

if the person was one I really really wasn't one I liked, I'd have to somehow get out of it or decline. if she was ok-ish but not instant attracted.. then that's harder because as you can get to know someone you're not. initialy attracted to.,you can become attracted to them after getting to know them..... so. suppose it depends on how you percieve the level of their appearance


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

I picked the nearest option.

I likely wouldn't go out with any woman who asked me (regardless of how attractive I found her) I think. I doubt I would want to go on a date with someone I didn't already know. The stress of it would be horrendous, and it would be pointless for all concerned.

I _might_ if I found her attractive "enough" (no idea what that is) and she seemed particularly unusual or interesting in some way, and the activity she suggested wasn't too stressful in itself. For the most part though I would find it _very_ uncomfortable if anyone cold approached me. I would be flattered I think, but would rather avoid the interaction entirely.

If she did ask I would try my best to be polite and kind and I would certainly respect her for having the courage though.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I reject her offer firmly and jump to page 49 only to find out she was actually a witch and saying no saved me from being eaten alive.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

More than likely I wouldn't think she's ugly because I don't usually agree with society on looks. So basically, I guess I would be flattered and not know that she's supposed to be ugly.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I'd say no and respect her confidence.

It might boost my self esteem depending on why she was attracted though.


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## Kml5111 (Dec 16, 2012)

Yes as long as she is not obese as I don't want fat kids.

Plus I look for personality and compatibility first as that catches my attention, looks are just a bonus.

I'd be more concerned to why she is attracted to me though...


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

I'd feel flattered, and I'd probably try to turn her into a friend.



Kml5111 said:


> Yes as long as she is not obese as I don't want fat kids.
> 
> Plus I look for personality and compatibility first as that catches my attention, looks are just a bonus.


So you look for personality first and looks are only a bonus, but you flatly rule out the majority of the American population who are fat due to a weird misconception that it's always genetic (it usually isn't)? :con


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Persephone The Dread said:


> I'd say no and respect her confidence.
> 
> It might boost my self esteem depending on why she was attracted though.
> 
> When you say blow you do you mean _blow _ you? Dunno how I can phrase this question for this section of the forum.


I was just using my imagination of how some guys' minds work.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Kml5111 said:


> Yes as long as she is not obese as I don't want fat kids.
> 
> Plus I look for personality and compatibility first as that catches my attention, looks are just a bonus.
> 
> I'd be more concerned to why she is attracted to me though...


Obesity would make her ugly to you, in that case.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

komorikun said:


> I was just using my imagination of how some guys' minds work.


lol yeah I wondered if that was what you were doing.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

TheWelshOne said:


> Obesity would make her ugly to you, in that case.


It's weird to me how obesity seems to be its own special category, outside the realm of "normal" ugliness. :|


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## Vanishing Dreams (May 17, 2016)

It never mattered to me whether it was a pretty or ugly girl that did it, I always turn them down. I'm not good at relationship at all.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

tehuti88 said:


> It's weird to me how obesity seems to be its own special category, outside the realm of "normal" ugliness. :|


I think it's because there's always a slim (ha) chance that we'll become beautiful if we lose the weight. Can't ask an ugly girl to have plastic surgery, but you can tell a fat girl to lose weight. 'For your health'.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

Not be a superficial git, take the only chance I'll ever get, and go on that date. After all, she went out on a limb approaching me, I wouldn't return that with outright rejection. That onus will fall on her after she gets to know me better, hah.


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## gunner21 (Aug 4, 2012)

splendidbob said:


> I picked the nearest option.
> 
> I likely wouldn't go out with any woman who asked me (regardless of how attractive I found her) I think. I doubt I would want to go on a date with someone I didn't already know. The stress of it would be horrendous, and it would be pointless for all concerned.
> 
> ...


Can I please get a link to your profile picture? pls.


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## kageri (Oct 2, 2014)

tehuti88 said:


> It's weird to me how obesity seems to be its own special category, outside the realm of "normal" ugliness. :|


I find most think it's your fault you are overweight for some reason. Also, that you should commit to far more exercise and food restrictions than they ever would just because you aren't staying as thin as them. More often it has nothing to do with any of it and is rather unfair to blame someone for things out of their control or that they already are working hard to fix without knowing their story. It's kind of like people who have no concept of mental illness telling someone who is severely depressed to just work really hard at thinking happier and it will fix it. Of course plenty of people also will say they wouldn't go out with someone with a mental illness and you'll see rants on here about it too. Society judges these things even worse than they are and people don't want to deal with the complications of physical and mental illness. Then they think about what the result could be with their children if there is a physical cause or the impact the person would have as a parent and then we start to get really complicated and controversial....


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## regimes (Aug 24, 2011)

tehuti88 said:


> It's weird to me how obesity seems to be its own special category, outside the realm of "normal" ugliness. :|


it's really sad too. in real life there are tons of ridiculously attractive fat people.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Just say aww I'm flattered but I'm taken.


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## 2Milk (Oct 29, 2014)

This unattractive girl wants to have sex with me. D: No thx


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## euphoria04 (May 8, 2012)

I would kindly turn her down (and feel bad about it), but admire the confidence. I think we all should be with someone we find physically attractive, and not settle for less, because I don't think the person being settled for would appreciate being settled for anywho.

But confidence in and of itself is a very sexy trait, in both men and women. And personality can make an otherwise ordinary person.... sexy. If I found someone legitimately 'ugly', as you put it, it might be a bit too hard to get over the physical appearance hurdle. But confidence can turn a 'meh' person into a sexy person, and make them more _physically_ attractive by extension (cause the mind is a very malleable thing like that).


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## DukeDuck (Jul 27, 2016)

Don't really care about looks, so if she was a nice person then sure. 

If she was unhygienic, smelled bad, had messy hair, then no lol


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## MCHB (Jan 1, 2013)

I'd probably do the same thing I do anytime anyone asks about my status or expresses interest...

Tell them I'm not interested in dating and quickly change the subject! :grin2:


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

euphoria04 said:


> I would kindly turn her down (and feel bad about it), but admire the confidence. I think we all should be with someone we find physically attractive, and not settle for less, because I don't think the person being settled for would appreciate being settled for anywho.


Or perhaps it's better for both individuals to concede that some people look near-universally unattractive, but deserve better than to be turned down for someone who had a better draw in the genetic lottery, again and again until the end of time. Something's profoundly wrong if two unattractive people both have to turn each other down for someone more attractive. And don't go telling me everyone has different tastes, they can vary a bit and there can be deviations but some people are never anyone's first choice.


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## Humesday (Mar 6, 2016)

I politely turn her down. If she starts sexually harassing me (it's happened quite a bit), I might have to get mean about it.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

gunner21 said:


> Can I please get a link to your profile picture? pls.


Of course good sir . I was originally going to post it somewhere in S&C but got bored of all the Trump stuff.


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## Squirrelevant (Jul 27, 2008)

I'd feel flattered but politely refuse. If she was comfortable about it I suppose it might even be nice to have a chat at that point.


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## nnennakalu80 (Oct 28, 2016)

Is there a gal who is unattractive that has approached you?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## TheInvisibleHand (Sep 5, 2015)

I would go for it . People who are uglier than you are easier to control ,well unless the person is very very unattractive then its not worth it .


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

I would say no but would give her a chance on getting to know her first to see if we had any compatible interests and we could ever be friends. Does she play video games? Does she like poetry or play music? I could never date anybody i'm physically repulsed by but that doesn't mean we can't be friends assuming we are enough alike. 

The reason why I woudn't invite her out on a date is because I have to spend money for someone else whom i'm not even interested in romantically and I don't want to lead her on by accepting the date. 


If I talked to her and got to know her and we had compatible interests, then we could be friends. But if we don't have compatible interests or lifestyle, I woudn't try to pursue anything.


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## HenDoggy (Jul 26, 2014)

Umm is their an alternate answer other then to politely turn her down?


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## andretti (Jan 2, 2016)

Depend on how ugly we talking bout. Fat isn't always ugly. I've seen plenty of fat girls I would love to be with. 

If she's super ugly probably say I'm already dating someone or let her down easily.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

Ugly is a pretty dangerous word, but I'll go with it.

Assuming I don't find her in any way attractive, and not necessarily because she isn't objectively 'good looking', I would turn her down and "respect her confidence" as you put it.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

komorikun said:


> Depends on how desperate I was for sex. If I was already getting laid, I'd tell her thanks but no thanks.
> 
> If I hadn't had sex in a long while, I might go out with her. Maybe to IHOP. Something cheap, since I don't want to spend much money on an ugly girl. Or I'd ask her if she wanted to watch a movie at my place, order some pizza delivery. Give her a few strong cocktails. Turn the lights down real low (so I don't have to look at her) then feel up her boobs and ask her to blow me.


Is that why you took me to IHOP? :frown2:

And sorry I drank so much. I think I passed out before the pizza got there. Netfilx and Coma is a thing, right?



regimes said:


> it's really sad too. in real life there are tons of ridiculously attractive fat people.


Fat is relative. There are attractive women (and guys, I guess) that are handsome/good looking. Like there's morbid obesity and then there's someone with some chub. And sometimes that isn't unattractive.



Karsten said:


> Ugly is a pretty dangerous word, but I'll go with it.
> 
> Assuming I don't find her in any way attractive, and not necessarily because she isn't objectively 'good looking', I would turn her down and "respect her confidence" as you put it.


That's pretty much my sentiment. I might, depending on situation, try to talk with her. See if there's similar humor or shared interests. Friends are nice. But also, a person's personality makes them attractive. That's right, I said a corny thing that is true to me. Sue me.


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## Excaliber (May 16, 2015)

I'd probably be pretty stunned at her confidence, but I would respectfully decline.


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

HenDoggy said:


> Umm is their an alternate answer other then to politely turn her down?


This was my first thought. I understand the topic of the thread (I think) because turning down anyone is most definitely not easy (though I've done it before) and I mean....you have got to use kid gloves, you've got to be sensitive obviously and choose your words very, very carefully so that feelings hopefully don't get hurt too badly. And...there are most definitely reasons I would turn down a date that have nothing, nothing to do with her appearance or my lack of attraction to her.

And it's kind of a loaded question....depending on the context and where you're coming from with that question. Are you asking from the point of view of how devastating it might be to be turned down? I mean....that question could then mean that you're looking for ways to be sensitive and empathetic and delicate when you turn someone down because you don't find them attractive and you don't want just grind someone's self esteem into the ground while you're doing it. Or...the motives for asking might be....you want to know how many people are just really insensitive and don't care and just....stomp anyone into the ground and move on. Or, it could just be an honest question out of curiosity but people usually have a motive, a reason why they want to know. In my opinion "what's your favorite color" is something you might ask a friend out of curiosity. With a question like "How would you say no to an ugly girl" people usually would want to know for reasons that run deeper than just out of curiousity....in my opinion.

Also.....there just aren't a whole lot of options to choose from. There's an option I thought of immediately. It was the first one that came to me, right after I read the question and it's not in the poll as an option. How about "No....but you say you'd like to hang out as friends" if you like her as a friend of course. You don't have to find all your friends attractive in that way, imo, in order to be friends with them. I can think of a whole lot of other options that weren't in the poll also.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

ScorchedEarth said:


> Or perhaps it's better for both individuals to concede that some people look near-universally unattractive, but deserve better than to be turned down for someone who had a better draw in the genetic lottery, again and again until the end of time. Something's profoundly wrong if two unattractive people both have to turn each other down for someone more attractive. And don't go telling me everyone has different tastes, they can vary a bit and there can be deviations but some people are never anyone's first choice.


Nobody should settle, that's not good for either person. I don't resent the fact that I'm unattractive enough that I won't get dates. I'd rather be rejected than know that my partner would be anywhere else if they had the option. Wouldn't you?



HenDoggy said:


> Umm is their an alternate answer other then to politely turn her down?


Feel free to add your answer in a comment. What would you do?


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## Carolyne (Sep 20, 2016)

This has only ever happened in online dating, and I don't like to hurt people's feelings so I just didn't reply. I wouldn't say I felt any of your three options, I just didn't care, I guess slight disappointment since I was initially excited to get an unprompted message.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Karsten said:


> Ugly is a pretty dangerous word


It's a disgusting word that shouldn't be used to describe people.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Just Lurking said:


> It's a disgusting word that shouldn't be used to describe people.


Just because a word is disgusting, doesn't mean it's not accurate. Calling someone an a-hole is pretty disgusting. Definitely a lot of them in the world though.


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## Ominous Indeed (Sep 6, 2015)

Ugly girl asks for a date, what do you do?

"Just imagine a woman that you, yourself, perceive as ugly."

There is clearly a difference in what I perceive as ugly compared to how someone might see themselves. You are asking me to picture the ugliest creature I can think of then let that thing ask me on a date, and see what I do? The answer is pretty obvious isn't it?

Though if I Google ugly girls, there exists girls there I'd date. This girl is one example.










Honestly. Googling ugly girls just made me pissed. There are too many pretty people there making ugly faces, because of why?


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

Just Lurking said:


> It's a disgusting word that shouldn't be used to describe people.


True dat. It really is. And that doesn't mean I'm attracted to everyone, lmao, that is most def not the case. But I think there's also something to be said for being shallow when you look at everyone's attractiveness. I've talked before about being at university and having a dorm mate and other guys and gals I was friends with trying to hook me up. And I passed on some of them. I remember my roommate being just stupefied when I told him I wasn't interested in this girl he tried to set me up with. But I wasn't, she wasn't my type at all. For reasons that are really too long to go into lmao. But one my friends there finally set me up with a friend of hers and she hooked me and reeled me in. She got me. I was married to her for 18 years.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

TheWelshOne said:


> Nobody should settle, that's not good for either person. I don't resent the fact that I'm unattractive enough that I won't get dates. I'd rather be rejected than know that my partner would be anywhere else if they had the option. Wouldn't you?


Where do you stop, though? It's fair to say most people would prefer a supermodel or Hollywood star or whatever else is at the apex of beauty standards... if they had the option, that's whom they'd prefer, appearance-wise. When it comes to physical attractiveness, we all have to settle for something less than perfection.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Demon Soul said:


> You are asking me to picture the ugliest creature I can think of then let that thing ask me on a date, and see what I do? The answer is pretty obvious isn't it?


It's pretty obvious, I'm just asking *how* you do it. Is she beneath you, are you respectful, does it crush you to know that "that thing" actually hoped you'd say yes?


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

Demon Soul said:


> Ugly girl asks for a date, what do you do?
> 
> "Just imagine a woman that you, yourself, perceive as ugly."
> 
> ...


I agree. I think she's beautiful. It's all veeeeery subjective, man. It's not even a word that can be defined. Though I've seen threads here on this forum where people have just about died trying to. But no, you can't.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

ScorchedEarth said:


> Where do you stop, though? It's fair to say most people would prefer a supermodel or Hollywood star or whatever else is at the apex of beauty standards... if they had the option, that's whom they'd prefer, appearance-wise. When it comes to physical attractiveness, we all have to settle for something less than perfection.


Less than perfection, sure, but that's not the issue. It's about saying 'This person is far below average, attraction-wise' and then deciding if you want to settle for *that.* And nobody will fault you for not settling. You have to be physically attracted to your partner, as others have point out; unless you're asexual, I assume, in which case it won't matter. If you aren't physically attracted to them, if it would cause you major embarrassment to introduce them to your friends, or walk with them in public, then it's obvious you're going to say no. I'm just interested in *how.*


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

Truly for a blowjob to come to fruition some attraction must exist; the girl is beautiful.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

TheWelshOne said:


> Just because a word is disgusting, doesn't mean it's not accurate. Calling someone an a-hole is pretty disgusting. Definitely a lot of them in the world though.


If someone wants to label themselves ugly, that's their prerogative, but there is no justification for calling someone *else* "ugly". It's an entirely unnecessary, intensely personal attack that hits at the core of a person's self-image, and it isn't anywhere near comparable to "a**hole".

There is a difference between "_you're ugly_" and "_I'm not attracted to you_". Don't make it about the other person.


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## AffinityWing (Aug 11, 2013)

I would respect her confidence, but couldn't say yes because I would never want to stoop so lowly as to going out with someone who has one-sided feelings for me only out of desperation. Plus many people considered ugly from others already tend to have enough insecurities and low self-esteem about it, as is.


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## Ominous Indeed (Sep 6, 2015)

TheWelshOne said:


> It's pretty obvious, I'm just asking *how* you do it. Is she beneath you, are you respectful, does it crush you to know that "that thing" actually hoped you'd say yes?


I would decline nicely. I'd also think that 95% of the population would handle the situation in no different manner.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

Just Lurking said:


> If someone wants to label themselves ugly, that's their prerogative, but there is no justification for calling someone *else* "ugly". It's an entirely unnecessary, intensely personal attack that hits at the core of a person's self-image, and it isn't anywhere near comparable to "a**hole".
> 
> There is a difference between "_you're ugly_" and "_I'm not attracted to you_". Don't make it about the other person.


:clap You're more intelligent than the majority of the population. Most don't see a difference at all.


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## GODxPUPPETxMAR (Jul 12, 2016)

I would say yes. I mean it's not like she's askin' for my hand in marriage. Not only would it be a confidence boost for her, it would be an opportunity for me to get to know her on a more personal level which would add depth to our and future relationships. Plus, she's probably got some good good (great sex).


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## Tetragammon (Jun 2, 2015)

In all fairness I'm an ugly guy with very little going for him so I'm pretty much on an ugly girl's level. But I still wouldn't go for it, sorry. I know, I'm a terrible excuse for a human being.

Edit: I feel the need to point out that many girls I find attractive think they're ugly themselves. It's a self-esteem thing, or BDD I guess. Or the fact that I don't generally find conventionally-beautiful women all that attractive. And I'd actually be honored if any woman asked me out and probably give it a try. But what I know I cannot and will not do is put up with the accompanying complaints all the time -- "Oh I'm so ugly, I'm so gross, why are you even with me, blah blah blah!" That's what my last girlfriend did and it was a serious turnoff. It's fine to be ugly and to know it but FFS you don't need to make your entire life revolve around it. Accept it and move on.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

TheWelshOne said:


> If you aren't physically attracted to them, if it would cause you major embarrassment to introduce them to your friends, or walk with them in public, then it's obvious you're going to say no. I'm just interested in *how.*


Sheesh, if the reason to turn someone down is because it'd cause you embarassment to be seen together, I'd wonder who the uglier one really is.


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## NeverknowsbestFLCL (Aug 4, 2016)

ANX1 said:


> Why I didn't ask her out, was I felt inferior to her and felt she could do better than me due to my life problems (women have rejected me because of it).
> 
> She thought, said I must like pretty women only. But no. I liked her too, just the above with life problems, etc went through my mind and didn't want to get rejected again.
> 
> It's not always as you think, it's not always looks related. Sometimes us men act a certain way based on bad life experiences.


this^ all day. I know that I'll never, ever be good enough for any woman.

Women always take it personal when you push them away, when it has nothing to do with them. I feel this.



Riff Raff said:


> I would basically say NO in a nice way.
> Like I would say something like... I really am not interested in dating anybody at this time... or I would make some other excuse why I cant get together with her.
> that is the polite thing to do.
> 
> There is never any reason to hurt somebody and say something mean to them.


yes exactly. but some women are hurt even by that...they perceive it as you're saying no to them personally, when that's not the case.



WillYouStopDave said:


> More than likely I wouldn't think she's ugly because I don't usually agree with society on looks. So basically, I guess I would be flattered and not know that she's supposed to be ugly.


beauty is in the eye of the beholder. As far as physical looks go, there is no such thing as ugly.



Vanishing Dreams said:


> It never mattered to me whether it was a pretty or ugly girl that did it, I always turn them down. I'm not good at relationship at all.


I feel this^



MCHB said:


> I'd probably do the same thing I do anytime anyone asks about my status or expresses interest...
> 
> Tell them I'm not interested in dating and quickly change the subject! :grin2:


I will never pursue anyone, ever again, unless I'm forced to just to please society.



Just Lurking said:


> If someone wants to label themselves ugly, that's their prerogative, but there is no justification for calling someone *else* "ugly". It's an entirely unnecessary, intensely personal attack that hits at the core of a person's self-image, and it isn't anywhere near comparable to "a**hole".
> 
> There is a difference between "_you're ugly_" and "_I'm not attracted to you_". Don't make it about the other person.


You sir, deserve an award.



GODxPUPPETxMAR said:


> I would say yes. I mean it's not like she's askin' for my hand in marriage. Not only would it be a confidence boost for her, it would be an opportunity for me to get to know her on a more personal level which would add depth to our and future relationships. Plus, she's probably got some good good (great sex).


LOL 
good for you brotha



ScorchedEarth said:


> Sheesh, if the reason to turn someone down is because it'd cause you embarassment to be seen together, I'd wonder who the uglier one really is.


You also deserve an award.

On topic:

physically ugly: no such thing, really. I personally hate myself and I feel like the lowest ranked beta male in existence so...I would simply tell any girl, attractive or not, that she deserves someone better than me. I can't make anyone happy. I feel like if I said yes, I would just make screw up after screw up until she regretted ever meeting me. Everything I touch I set on fire, so I would just save her the trouble and tell her that she deserves better than me. All girls do.

ugly character: probably someone that I would date, as long as she's not physically attractive. It doesn't matter but...in the eyes of society, a physically attractive girl dating me, bad personality or not, would show that she's clearly blind, and could have much better.

Let me rephrase that: a girl that wears make up, dresses up fancy, and spends a lot of time with her appearance....I don't want that. That has nothing to do with what her personality might be, I just don't want that. Could you imagine...being constantly bugged by other people...
Stranger: "She's so pretty, you don't deserve her".

I know.

Stranger talking to her: "Why are you with him? you could have anything better than that".

I would tell her this the moment she asked me out. She could have something better. Then I'd say no, and tell her that she deserves to be happy. Don't be foolish by dating me.

And see....some women would take offense to that^ (for some odd reason, when I'm doing them a favor).

now, if she were unattractive (in the eyes of society: no make up, etc), and...each and every day, she told me that I was worth nothing, I didn't matter, my life was a mistake, etc...and she'd have to abuse me a bit, but enjoy it (cheat on me constantly, hurt me physically, etc) yet...have SA...no direction in life...now...that's someone I could consider. But that doesn't exist.

I know^ that sounds masochistic, but....it would be nice. I'd feel, "put in my place".


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

NeverknowsbestFLCL said:


> this^ all day. I know that I'll never, ever be good enough for any woman.


Feel the same. 



NeverknowsbestFLCL said:


> Women always take it personal when you push them away, when it has nothing to do with them. I feel this.


Men do too. Just something both women, men have in common.


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## roxslide (Apr 12, 2011)

I want to say I would say no, but I would probably say yes. Historically I always say yes to first dates (unless someone I have met and decided I dislike asks me) and then let it fizzle out because somehow my messed up brain thinks that's better?? 

BUT DANG people in this thread are pretty cold.


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## ShatteredGlass (Oct 12, 2012)

_get away from me i have social anxiety lol_ *cue red face that could fry an egg*

That pretty much sums it up. I'd be embarrassed as hell angry at her AND myself. The latter primarily stems from the appearance standpoint - as mean and superficial it likely sounds. Besides, some random approaching me and asking for a date? Fat chance I'll accept regardless of how they look. It's just weird to me. I don't like dynamics that are based purely on appearance.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

At the risk of being reported for causing conflicts within my own thread



AllTheSame said:


> How about "No....but you say you'd like to hang out as friends" if you like her as a friend of course. You don't have to find all your friends attractive in that way, imo, in order to be friends with them. I can think of a whole lot of other options that weren't in the poll also.


What you've just said is worse than any rejection.

You're at a bar and a woman approaches you. She's a solid 2/10, definitely not your type. She asks if she can buy you a drink, you say sure. After a conversation she seems like a sweet girl but she's still a 2/10, so when she asks you if you'd like to get coffee one day, you have to say no.

What you do not do is say "Sure, but as friends." Y'know why? Because you've just told this woman, who knows damn well that she's ugly, "Your personality's A+ but your looks could use some help." Why on earth would she agree to hang out with you knowing that if she looked like Jennifer Lawrence you'd have said yes? Why waste her time? Though her self-esteem is probably low enough that she'll agree, mostly on the off-chance that her face will somehow become lovable to you eventually. Or maybe she can figure out what you look for in a girl and save up her pennies for plastic surgery.

A straight 'No' could mean anything. Maybe you have a girlfriend, maybe you're not interested in dating right now. Maybe you're gay, or you're moving out of the area tomorrow. But 'Yes, as friends' let's her know exactly what her problem is: her looks.



ScorchedEarth said:


> Sheesh, if the reason to turn someone down is because it'd cause you embarassment to be seen together, I'd wonder who the uglier one really is.


So you'd be happy walking down the road with this woman? No shame at all if she wanted to hold your hand or kiss you in public?


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

TheWelshOne said:


> At the risk of being reported for causing conflicts within my own thread
> 
> What you've just said is worse than any rejection.
> 
> ...


Having her buy you a drink at a bar does not mean you are suddenly committing to a long term relationship. Believe it or not you can have a drink at a bar with a friend. Shocking, but yes, it happens all the time. Every day.

It's really very simple. It seems to me like you're trying to make a pretty straightforward situation as complicated as you can, in the interest of.....well.....either trying to start conflict, yet again, or just trying to prove me wrong at the expense of any logical argument, really. Oh. Kay. Lmao. I guess you win. Congrats on that. Woohoo!! Lmao.

It's very simple. When things start going in the dating direction you just tell her, be honest, I like you as a friend (if you do) but I'd just like to hang out as friends. No games. No leading anyone on. It's that simple. I've done it before, in real life, more than once. It's not rocket science. Unless you try to make it rocket science.


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

AllTheSame said:


> Having her buy you a drink at a bar does not mean you are suddenly committing to a long term relationship. Believe it or not you can have a drink at a bar with a friend. Shocking, but yes, it happens all the time. Every day.
> 
> It's really very simple. It seems to me like you're trying to make a pretty straightforward situation as complicated as you can, in the interest of.....well.....either trying to start conflict, yet again, or just trying to prove me wrong at the expense of any logical argument, really. Oh. Kay. Lmao. I guess you win. Congrats on that. Woohoo!! Lmao.
> 
> It's very simple. When things start going in the dating direction you just tell her, be honest, I like you as a friend (if you do) but I'd just like to hang out as friends. No games. No leading anyone on. It's that simple. I've done it before, in real life, more than once. It's not rocket science. Unless you try to make it rocket science.


From my original post:



TheWelshOne said:


> It's clear she's going to ask you on a date.


I don't see how that's making it complicated. But as it wasn't clear *asking you for coffee was a date.*


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

TheWelshOne said:


> From my original post:
> 
> I don't see how that's making it complicated. But as it wasn't clear *asking you for coffee was a date.*


Oh ffs I give up.....

~sent from my GalaxyS4


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## TheWelshOne (Sep 29, 2013)

OK, once more to make myself absolutely clear, no room for doubt.

1. You are standing/sitting at a bar.

2. A girl approaches you, you have never seen her before and know absolutely nothing about her. Your first impression is that you would never date her because physically she is not your type.

3. She asks to buy you a drink. Either you say no, or you say yes. If you say no, it's a rejection of anything further conversation.

4. Assuming you say yes, she sits and you talk. She is clearly romantically interested in you, because people do not approach strangers in bars if they're not interested in dating them, or at least hooking up.

5. You talk for as long as the drink lasts. You've gotten small talk out of the way, maybe learnt a little about each other.

6. She asks if you want to do something else one day. Clearly this is asking for a date. You can tell by the tone of her voice, her body language, the way her eyes are slightly pleading and she bites her lip.

7. If you say no at this point, it could still mean anything. She could, at that point, thank you for your company and leave. She could also suggest that you hang out as friends, silently sad but maybe she sees enough good in you that potential friendship would be a good consolation. That would be her choice, based on whether she can set aside the initial romantic feelings she has.

8. If you say yes, it is on the understanding that this is a romantic date. There is no leeway here - she is romantically interested in you and wants to go out with you for a date.

9. You can also say 'Yes, but as friends' but that will likely make her feel bad for the reasons that I stated in a previous post - she knows that it's her looks that are holding her back.

10. As you have only just met this woman, who clearly would like to date you, there are no previous interactions that mean a friendship is any more likely than a relationship. There is no reason that you would want to be friends with her based on one brief conversation where she was putting forward her best 'first date' impression to try and win your affections. You cannot 'only like her as a friend' at this point because you don't know her.


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

i would say yes

i want that date.


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