# Unexpected epiphany



## (onvacation) (Aug 29, 2012)

Last night I was thinking and reading about extroverts and introverts, which led me to beg the question ‘who has it worse. Who’s is the biggest curse.’ I thought to myself: ‘extroverts need people. People define their existence to a greater degree and intensity. And without them they are lonely and don’t know what to do’. While the more introverted, like me, worry excessively about what they believe they are not doing right according to an extroverted world, then feel bad and beat themselves up for it. Ultimately though, I decided extroverts have it worse. And that’s when an epiphany hit me.

All this time I had been viewing myself as an introvert living in an extroverts world. Trapped. But I realized I didn’t have to look at it like that, and for a moment it reversed itself in my mind. No, instead, it is extroverts who are living in an introverts world. A brief feeling of liberation and euphoria washed over me.

I mean, I have so many tools I can use. I have this mind that searches, and a body at my control. I can manifest a reality out of my thoughts bringing them forth into the world. This is my advantage, not my curse.

It all boils down to me accepting myself, and not worrying about others, and getting on with doing my own thing. Accepting that I’m introverted, and I don’t have to play by extrovert rules.

And I think this is a beginning to that point of acceptance. After all, I’ve created a new positive reference point in my mind.


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

CreepOnARoadbike8 said:


> Accepting that I'm introverted, and I don't have to play by extrovert rules. And I think this is a beginning to that point of acceptance. After all, I've created a new positive reference point in my mind.


 I agree. Acceptance is crucial. I've reached a point where I almost brag(I'm proud) about my introversion and even my anxiety.


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## Quinn the Eskimo (Jan 22, 2012)

yes, wear the anxiety like a glove of power, mwahahaha


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## ThingsRlookingUp (Aug 13, 2012)

Yeah, the who has it worst thing I think really comes down to the persons views on things. Also what society they live in.

There's a book called "Introvert Power: Why Your Inner life is Your Hidden Strength" that's a decent read about embracing your introvert-ness.


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## (onvacation) (Aug 29, 2012)

Definitely. It’s a perspective thing. And that’s what I meant. 

It really is hard to accurately explain that experience, but in that shift in consciousness, that reversal, I decided extroverts have it worse. And that’s when the epiphany hit me.

My thinking about the more extroverted having it worse was/is basically: Needing someone, anyone - Being attached to people like that can be something of a hindrance to individual growth. It can be stifling, especially if you’re attached to a destructive group of people. But also you can’t, or it’s very hard to start, thinking differently.. thinking outside of this and pursuing something different. Something that is healthier for you, because you’re stuck to this idea, this feeling rather, of needing people. I also think that the more extroverted people can get a lot more sad, lonely, and maybe even violent.

Putting it into perspective like that, I realized how free I really can be.. to make my own way. Free to take my own route, -a significantly less traveled route. Free to do out of the ordinary things, and it may and can take me somewhere grand.

I do want to say that for sure there are different shades of introverted and extroverted, not one shade. Obviously everyone is different. This is apparent when I take into consideration the vast array of possible attributes. There may even be social ambivalence where the need, or want, for people comes and goes at varying degrees.

None of this is to say I don’t/can’t enjoy being around others or someone. In fact I often think it might be nice to meet someone, a girl, just as a friend. Maybe she is in a similar world to mine and we could relate. I don’t want to idealize a person, because I know that’s what I fear others will do to me. I don’t know, maybe it sounds weird. It’s just.. I find that sweet and gentle temperament that girls tend to have –I find it something beautiful.

I think we all share universal feelings. Feelings of fear and desire. (Of course, the different peoples react to them differently). And I think that being subjected to, -whether it be a group of happy, or interesting looking people. Or, a girl you are attracted to. For her skin, her figure, her face, her voice, her mannerisms. Whatever it may be, it has a way of bringing out a want for her. And the more you think about her the more you want to be with her in some way, even if you don't know exactly how or in what way. And I think to varying degrees this much is true for everyone. So, it's the immersion, the seeing, that makes you want. And want more so. 

I think for the socially anxious and more introverted, the more you think about what you don't have and feel you are not doing right, -the more you beat yourself up. You don't necessarily want it or need it, but if you're subjected to it, you do to some degree.

So I guess essentially what my epiphany did for me is make me feel more free and realize I don’t have to feel like the one the world is coming down on. That I can embrace being introverted - that it’s okay to be me, and I actually have a lot of options and things I’m free to go do and try.


Thanks for the suggestion, I'll definitely be checking that book out, it sounds interesting. I really like what I've found and I've been feeling better lately because of it, and the book may help even more.


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## Thinkerbell (Jul 8, 2012)

I mostly agree with your posts. I'll even go a bit further and claim some extroverts are jealous of me.
I'm capable of being in my own world, and I love that. I won't become nervous in a room full of nervous people, because I'm focused on myself. Extroverts seem to depend on how others around them behave. 
And like you said, extroverts are very dependent in general. I can have fun all by myself. The only reason why I don't go out and have fun is because extroverts look at me funny.:roll And I rarely get lonely. I like being an introvert. It's a shame extroverts try to make me seem like a weirdo.


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## LukeT (Mar 31, 2012)

dont ever let that feeling go!


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

This is a great realization. Down with introvert shaming!


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