# Has anyone given up on making friends?



## DrPepper31

I don't enjoy being shy, or not having a social life. I would love to have lots of friends, go out, etc, etc. But whenever I try to make friends-nobody wants to be my friend! For example, at work I was trying really hard to be friends with these 2 co-workers, I was friendly, nice, shared stories, yet in the end they would just leave me out and give me the cold shoulder. Then, I was trying to have a close friendship with my friend, I would always invite her to go out, invite her to my family events, yet she would always make excuses to why she didn't want to go. Its not fair, I see other people who have great friendships, and then me who can't even find someone that's willing to talk to me. Either that, I'm just not cool enough, or I come off as a total loser that nobody wants my company. Why are some people such jerks? I don't get it. I don't even try anymore, if that person wants to talk to me, I'll talk to them, if not, then I won't make an effort. Because when I do make an effort-they totally ignore me. I might as well stay quiet unless I'm spoken to..


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## visualkeirockstar

I haven't given up. I just don't need them and they don't need me.


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## Glass Child

I have the opposite problem.

I have a lot of people who probably like me, but I can't motivate myself to put effort into anyone or anything. It is rather bothersome, since I'm thankful for the kindness I get and put out, but I don't do anything with it. I'm just too... tired.


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## Haven49

I FEEL YOU! I want friends so badly and people to hang out with...but social anxiety, ya know?
The point is to keep trying, keep fighting, never give up. 
Don't worry!! One day, you'll connect with someone, and it will be the best thing ever.
People can be hard to socialize with sometimes, but that even happens to people without anxiety...best of luck!


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## The Misery Chick

I haven't. For me, it's the lack of funds that prevents me from reaching out and making plans outside of the house. Rather difficult to go shopping or out to the movies when you're perpetually strapped for cash.


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## mezzoforte

Me!


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## RichBigD

Yes completely. I can't even hold an accquaintance anymore let alone any meaningful friendships.

It's sad that I'll be 23 this year & with a good career hopefully. Outside of that no social contacts whatsoever


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## satyrinath

Yes, no one has the same interests as me. Sure, I talk to some people but if you have little or nothing in common there is no possibility of a real friendship.


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## scooby

I think I gave up a long time ago. I don't turn away people that want to be friends though, but no one really does want to. I need to get more interesting.


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## JadedSoldier

I haven't made a new friend since 2008, and those weren't really friends, they were co-workers so yeah, I gave up. I don't see any need for them they always lie, and only come around when they need something. I get lonely but I always find something to do, or drink. Makes things a bit better.


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## atlantan

people come and go so much. its hard to keep track. i've given up making the effort.


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## BryanSA

I can totally relate. I almost gave up on making friends. By that I mean I call or text people once in a while to see how they are doing, but I rarely do that these days. The main reason is because the relationship is always one-sided. It's like I'm always the first one to call or text people. Nobody really calls or texts me first. Think this is trivial? Well, I think it matters. I believe the definition of friendship may differ from people to people, but I think the crucial part in friendship is reciprocity. If I'm trying to build a friendship and initiate social interaction, but the other guy seems indifferent or simply not interested in making that relationship, I think there's no point of trying to build that relationship. 

Second, there's this ignorance/excuse issue. For example, if I text someone with my cell phone, and I don't ever get a reply back, now I automatically think, "Oh, this person is ignoring me and doesn't want to interact with me or be friends with me." Some people may say, "Maybe he or she was busy or didn't have a chance to look at your text." Yeah, that may be true, but from my experience that chance is very small. Plus, if you don't get a reply back though you text him/her several more times, I'm pretty confident that he/she is ignoring you. And even if I get in touch with people, it seems like they are always making excuses (busy with their jobs, schoolwork, appointment with other friends) to "avoid" hanging out with me. I have an experience with a girl who rejected my social interaction 5 times in a row. They were pretty "good" excuses, but come on, how can you have something coming up 5 times in a row? I just can't believe that. The girl was obviously trying to avoid me. Maybe she was a type of person who cannot out reject directly, so she was making excuses instead. Maybe I'm wrong, but if you get rejected all the time with excuses, ignorance issues, you get very sensitive to even a little rejection like not getting a reply back and start to doubt people about whether this person is interested in me or not.

Yeah, so right now I almost gave up on making friends. I'm tired of being always the first one to initiate social interaction, tired of being ignored and getting excuses all the time. I just figure that people don't want to hang out with me, be friends with me, whatever the reason they don't want to. Maybe they already have a social circle (e.g., many friends), so they don't really need a "new" friend. I don't know I get hurt when they reject me, so it's better not to initiate in the first place.


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## RelinquishedHell

Yeah I have. Everyone lies to me, uses me, and backstabs me. I don't trust people anymore. If this is how people are, then I don't want anyone in my life.


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## Still Waters

I gave up a long time ago. I've decided I simply don't come across as being very warm,though I can be if given enough time. Once I get comfortable enough,I'm very loyal,caring,even nurturing -but it takes TIME for me to reach that point. People want you to dazzle them right off the bat,or they simply won't stick around. If you're not instantaneously funny,approachable and interesting -they'll find a hundred other better people/things to occupy their time.
Also,as someone else mentioned,a lack of money also figures into the mix -everything social involves spending money. If you don't have fun money then you're not usually wanted or comfortable in social situations. People tend to be valued for how well they entertain-be that jokes and funny stories or the money that brings the good times through the door. I wish people were less demanding and more patient-better at seeing beyond the "shine" to what lies beneath.


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## CoastalSprite

I just let other people decide if they want to be friends with me, while maintaining the expectation that they don't. I know who _I _want to be friends with but if the feeling isn't reciprocated, then what's the point? I'm not throwing whatever little energy I have into a black hole of futility.


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## Creepy Little Clown

I gave up a long time ago, but in march this year, I found someone who also had SA, thought we were perfect match, almost exactly one month later, she just started ignoring me, I won't get fooled again, I don't trust anyone now.


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## Still Waters

CoastalSprite said:


> I just let other people decide if they want to be friends with me, while maintaining the expectation that they don't. I know who _I _want to be friends with but if the feeling isn't reciprocated, then what's the point? I'm not throwing whatever little energy I have into a black hole of futility.


EXCELLENT point!! If I have to grovel or kiss up to others,it's just not going to happen-:clap


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## Ev93

yeah, there's only so much rejection and disappointment I can take.


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## lonely1984

What does friend mean to you? A word so wrongfully abused. 
Are you like me, confused? All included but you. 
Alone...


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## s12345

Yes, I did. Too many backstabbings.


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## EternallyRestless

I've given up on fitting in with my peers in general. I don't care anymore. I have my 2 best (only)friends and that's good enough for me. I honestly can't wait until I have my real job and I can just throw myself into work and not have to pretend to have a social life.


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## foe

CoastalSprite said:


> I just let other people decide if they want to be friends with me, while maintaining the expectation that they don't. I know who _I _want to be friends with but if the feeling isn't reciprocated, then what's the point? I'm not throwing whatever little energy I have into a black hole of futility.


Yeah, this is my approach.

I have had friends in the past, and from those experiences I now can tell who I'll get along with, and who I won't get along with. If they wanna be friends, I'm open to it but I won't be the one seeking friendship. It'll just happen...eventually.


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## Glock22

I've given up completely, I'm just a very disliked person.


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## m a r z a

I can really relate to your experiences.
I feel like I'm about to give up. Every good friendship I've had ended up tasting bitter toward the end. The friends I've had always wanted to be in a better position than me.


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## monotonous

no i want friends, just havent the right group of people


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## apx24

I don't have anything to offer any friends anyway


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## pjnewt

i have given up. im a junior in college and i dont think i will make any friends


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## jlscho03

I haven't given up, per se, but I have not really tried to make friends, even though I would like some.

The strangers I talk to and end up getting along with (which is rare, considering normally you don't hold a full conversation with a complete stranger, but it has happened to me a couple of times) I would almost never see again, as that stranger on the street was a one-time occurrence.

So, yeah, the only interaction I get with people outside of my family is usually small talk with people such as bus passengers, cashiers, etc. (and rarely that, normally I don't talk to others unless they initiate). I don't like talking to my immediate co-workers as we have nothing in common unfortunately.

So yeah, it's unfortunate, but I've already done my crying over it a couple of years ago over this situation and have learned to adapt.


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## inerameia

I don't even know how to make friends anymore.


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## RelinquishedHell

Definitely. I'm actually really enjoying being a loner again. Everyone I've met is a lying backstabber or a user. I don't trust people. I honestly wish there was a way that I could live a functional life without ever having to deal with another person again.


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## prettyful

BryanSA said:


> I can totally relate. I almost gave up on making friends. By that I mean I call or text people once in a while to see how they are doing, but I rarely do that these days. The main reason is because the relationship is always one-sided. It's like I'm always the first one to call or text people. Nobody really calls or texts me first. Think this is trivial? Well, I think it matters. I believe the definition of friendship may differ from people to people, but I think the crucial part in friendship is reciprocity. If I'm trying to build a friendship and initiate social interaction, but the other guy seems indifferent or simply not interested in making that relationship, I think there's no point of trying to build that relationship.
> 
> Second, there's this ignorance/excuse issue. For example, if I text someone with my cell phone, and I don't ever get a reply back, now I automatically think, "Oh, this person is ignoring me and doesn't want to interact with me or be friends with me." Some people may say, "Maybe he or she was busy or didn't have a chance to look at your text." Yeah, that may be true, but from my experience that chance is very small. Plus, if you don't get a reply back though you text him/her several more times, I'm pretty confident that he/she is ignoring you. And even if I get in touch with people, it seems like they are always making excuses (busy with their jobs, schoolwork, appointment with other friends) to "avoid" hanging out with me. I have an experience with a girl who rejected my social interaction 5 times in a row. They were pretty "good" excuses, but come on, how can you have something coming up 5 times in a row? I just can't believe that. The girl was obviously trying to avoid me. Maybe she was a type of person who cannot out reject directly, so she was making excuses instead. Maybe I'm wrong, but if you get rejected all the time with excuses, ignorance issues, you get very sensitive to even a little rejection like not getting a reply back and start to doubt people about whether this person is interested in me or not.
> 
> Yeah, so right now I almost gave up on making friends. I'm tired of being always the first one to initiate social interaction, tired of being ignored and getting excuses all the time. I just figure that people don't want to hang out with me, be friends with me, whatever the reason they don't want to. Maybe they already have a social circle (e.g., many friends), so they don't really need a "new" friend. I don't know I get hurt when they reject me, so it's better not to initiate in the first place.


this is EXACTLY how i feel 100%!


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## sebastian1

I've pretty much given up. I'm just not a person worth knowing.



EternallyRestless said:


> I've given up on fitting in with my peers in general. I don't care anymore. I have my 2 best (only)friends and that's good enough for me. *I honestly can't wait until I have my real job and I can just throw myself into work and not have to pretend to have a social life.*


"So how was your weekend/vacation?"


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## KYJE

No, though I probably should.


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## ChuckBrown

Yeah, their needs and wants always seem more important than mine.


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## rayeo

My social life is nonexistent but I haven't given up on it yet.


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## Twelve Keyz

yeah, it takes too much effort. I can't connect with people anymore.


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## callmebas

There is so much to deal with, so getting friends isn't the priority. Same goes with the girlfriend issue. Although it bugs me from time to time, i try to put it aside and concentrate with my troubled self. So yes i have temporarily given up on that.


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## JazLeo

Finding people with common interests is my main problem. I've lost touch with all but one friend from high school + college - she just happens to be my best and now only friend. 

I haven't given up completely on making new friends but I think I've forgotten how.


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## dave twothree

I haven't made a personal friend since I was in high school, which was over 6 years ago. I make a few online friends every now and then, but no real face to face in person friends. I feel like I just forgot or don't know how to, because people do try to talk to me. It was just much simpler as a child.


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## Nekomata

I probably cared about having friends ages ago, but I actually haven't thought about it in years. I'm quite content without any, and I've got a feeling that it would impose upon my comfort zone if any of these 'friends' people did enter my life.


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## Scarlettskkye

Nekomata said:


> I probably cared about having friends ages ago, but I actually haven't thought about it in years. I'm quite content without any, and I've got a feeling that it would impose upon my comfort zone if any of these 'friends' people did enter my life.


I wish I could be like that. What do you do in your free time?


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