# support group questions



## hopemiles (Nov 22, 2006)

I've been running a support group in Dallas for about a year and a half now. I was wondering what your experiences with support groups have been like.

In looking at online forums such as this, it seems that there are a lot of people who struggle with this issue and want to get help. However, most of the people who contact me with interest in our group never actually show up to a meeting. Of those who do, almost all of them drop out after less than two months of participation.

It seems to me that people with this issue prefer to struggle with it on their own (alone) or just are content to live with it. If someone is truly interested in changing then there has to be a sincere effort and committment to get out of one's comfort zone and try some new things. I'm frustrated because I have made an effort to provide a service for people but there has been little interest.

Any insight you can provide would be appreciated.


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## Jocelyn (Aug 10, 2007)

Part of it could be that it is simply too anxiety provoking for the people. Another part might be that they don't really believe the group will help them get better. That's all I have.

I'd like to ask you... What do you do at your meetings? I'd like to start a group myself and when I'm in positive thinking mode, I really believe I can do it. Other times, I think it would be too much.

What do you talk about? Is it structured? Please, share any info you don't mind sharing.


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## hopemiles (Nov 22, 2006)

If you really want to start a group, then I believe you will find the strength that you'll need from within. Everyone who goes to meetings has the same feelings of worry that you do. That in itself should be a comfort. 

My advice would be to get other committed people to run the group with you. Don't bear all the weight of organizing it on your own. Spread the leadership duties around so that it's not so overwhelming for you.

We have a cognitive behavioral therapy program that we read through at meetings, one lesson at a time. We stop and talk about our personal experiences and just provide support for one another. The more people in attendance, the easier this is to do. On socialanxietyinstitude.org, there is a $300 CBT program which is considered to be very effective. We found a free CBT version which encompasses many of the same aspects of that program. I can send it to you if you want, but it would come in about 30 email installments.

On a personal note, starting a group has been very good for me. Going through the CBT program has been my therapy. I have better coping skills at dealing with anxiety, am not as phased by what other people think as I used to be and I am learning not to internally beat myself up in my mind through negative self talk. Also, starting and leading something such as this has increased my confidence. If I can start and sustain something like this, then who knows what else I am capable of.

Good luck to you.


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## TruSeeker777 (Nov 9, 2003)

hopemiles, congrats on running your group. I agree with you. It does build up your confidence and I think I've gotten over a lot of my SA just from facilitating the group I started. 

I know it can get discouraging when you put all your heart and energy into making new or potential members feel welcome and they either don't show up or don't continue with the group after a few months. The thing with SA is it's a lot easier to just sit at home (hide) and avoid everything rather than face it, and some people just aren't ready to face it yet or do the work needed to start healing. I guess my advice to you is to concentrate on the ones that stick around. I've always said that even if only one other person showed up, we've had a successful meeting.

Keep up the great work! :boogie


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## Jocelyn (Aug 10, 2007)

Hopesmiles... I own the CBT program you're talking about from socialanxietyinstitute.org. I'm getting close to the halfway point and I think in one of the upcoming "lessons" it is going to give advice on starting your own group. So, that'll be great. I'm just ready to get started on it NOW! Patience isn't one of my strong points. 



> We found a free CBT version which encompasses many of the same aspects of that program.


I'd love to have it! You can't have too many resources right? I have a generic email address you can send it to if you don't mind...

[email protected]

If anyone has experience running a group and feels like sharing any info or tips, please feel free to email.

Thanks!


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## jjbnum3 (Nov 12, 2003)

hopemiles said:


> I've been running a support group in Dallas for about a year and a half now. I was wondering what your experiences with support groups have been like.


Hello Hope
First off congrats on running a support group for SA'ers.
I been to a few different support group or the over the last 5 or so years,since i found out I had SA(being the major thing) and a few other problems.
1st group I went to was for people with all different kinds of anxiety's. 
I think I got the number over the web,some site that listed support groups.
Called the number that week,and went to the first meeting the same day I called,,I think it was on Wesnesday in Grass Valley,Ca.

The first time was the hardest to go too,high anxiety time...lol
But the group and people where so nice and understood that i didn't really want to talk/tell to much until I got a little more relax talking with people.
Nobody else in this group had SA.I went to meetings almost every week,and only on time or twice did a person show up that was also suffering from SAD.
and it was only one time that they came.

I stop going to the group because they change the meeting to once a month,and I also moved to a different state.Made some good friends through the group,I just wish I stayed in touch with them.But I still hard for me to keep in touch with old friends because Of my SA.I could go on,but thats for another post.

2nd group I went to
Was more of a class offered through the local hospital I had insurance through(Kaiser).
Everyone that went to this group had SAD,you really couldn't tell though by looks,a little quiet though for first day of class.

I would say about 20 people showed up for the first meeting,then each week
less and less would show.by the end of class we had maybe 6 0r 8 left.
I keep going because I wanted to get better,even if meant have a little stress/anxiety to start off with.
I think most did not keep going mostly because of your SA,and just weren't ready or to much anxiety to keep going.

So my experiences with support groups have been good,I just keep going because I wanted to improve myself,and I did.Getting out and talking to people that also had SA was one of the best parts.
I hope this helps,any more ??? just ask.

Joe


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