# Realizing what anxiety was and transcending it



## croakertbc (Mar 6, 2014)

I just wanted to share the wonderful experience I had with everyone and I highly suggest meditation as well for those here as a means to handle their Social Anxiety. I had gotten to the point where I could barely leave my house and I'm now able to go wherever I want, and do whenever I want, without fear. I do have anxiety bubble up now and again but I'm able to recognize it quickly and let it go. Just a few weeks ago I went on a road trip to another state to visit an old friend of my Dad's on two days notice, 
and did it without any worry or fear and had a great time. I posted the below at a spiritual site while trying to understand my experience and have edited it slightly to repost here. I wish you all the best, and I hope you can transcend your anxiety as well because I know how difficult it is. Before this happened for me I didn't think such a thing/experience existed or was even possible for me. 

About a month ago I experienced what by all definitions/explanations (though any/all attempts to define/explain "it"/"existence" fail completely) was enlightenment. Some history may be useful to describe my path to this experience of "being" though.

I had studied Aikido years ago and was introduced to Buddhism, Taoism, metaphysics, etc, and meditation. I had dismissed the spiritual pursuit for the most part and focused more on the physical exercise and the fluidness of that martial art. I did practice what can be described as mindless as opposed to mindfull meditation at the time and did enjoy how it seemed to "recharge my batteries". I stopped doing this around the age of 21 because I felt I was "too busy" to continue doing it and that it wasn't really helping me do or achieve anything. I'm 40 now.

During that time up until about a month ago I suffered from what was diagnosed as Social Anxiety/Phobia. In many ways it was a spiraling and exponentially growing anxiety and fear that after several family deaths (all but one close family member), an extremely stressful job with many years of 24/7 on-call duties, and extreme self "medication" with alcohol brought me to a level of dispair that was as close to the complete meaning of unbearable that I could imagine at the time. I had lost all of my friends save one, and communicated with only one other person (a cousin) via email, and quit my job. I was also trying to escape my life and pain intellectually by researching politics, finance, science, and losing myself in computer games to escape my painful reality. A few days before I had this wonderful and life changing explosion of perspective/awareness I couldn't look at the terrible things we do to each other through our conflicting beliefs, wars, and greed, etc, anymore and I realized I was only 
adding to my pain and fear by trying to avoid it and was essentially scrubbing myself with what I perceived to be others pain as well. I started researching religions, beliefs, spirituality, the occult, etc, but I went into this research with as open a mind as I could and tried not to get myself stuck in any structures, steps, dogma's, etc.

On "that" day I was watching a really interesting video on youtube that was a visualization of the mandlebrot set, which is essentially a visualization of mathematic fractals that can continue on forever because it's simply a never ending division. When it ended I decided to really try mindful meditation, or at least what I thought that was. I tried to calm my mind, I kept my eyes open but didn't focus them, I listened, and I tried to feel my body and skin and breath, and I tried to experience all these senses at the same time. Then "it" or "is" happened and I just knew what it was to be completely alive with no judgements, thoughts, beliefs, etc. To simply "be". What I thought to be me, my mind, was just another part of me. I transcended my mind, or ego, and it became my tool instead of what I considered to be all of who I "thought" "I" was.

I won't try to describe that complete wholeness/loss because it can't be done, but I can explain how I've changed. I have escaped my crushing fear and anxiety and my anger and helplessness. It still bubbles up in my mind but I know where it is coming from and I am able to let it go easily. I know what it's like to understand in a way any perspective or point of view because I understand there is no end to them. I'm starting to come back to a calm state of being again, but in many ways it was just so exciting 
to be free. I even understood that my excitement didn't "really" exist but I was having so much damn fun I did hold onto those moments for a while before letting those go as well. I tried several times to describe this "revelation" in my excitement, but I know that it will be forever impossible to do that. One way that I think is somewhat "close" is, infinite energy and infinite entropy combined in the same whole that is itself infinite. That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever when I try to imagine it so I think that's also why I like that description more then the others I've tried to come up with.

I try to live in the moment now because that's all that "really" exists. A good way to think about that may be if you're in your house and worrying about anything, feeling anxiety about going to the store or just thinking about anxiety, look at something like a chair (or anything). In that moment, there really just is you looking at a chair. 

There is no fear and anxiety in that moment. Fear, worry, and anxiety exist only in thoughts, and usually thoughts about a painful/uncomfortable past that is gone or worry about a potential future that doesn't actually exist. Neither the future or the past "really" exist outside of the mind. Your body and the chair, the air around you, what you're seeing, smelling, touching, and hearing exist. Everything else is just a fabrication of the mind and only "exists" in those thoughts, they are only real to you if you make them real to you by focusing on them. I know it's very likely if I had read this myself just over a month ago I'd have likely dismissed it, but please don't. You are more then just your mind, your body and senses, and can choose for yourself what your own reality is like. It's just so hard to see from within/inside the world you "think" you live in. It's both really hard and really simple in a way, to realize and actually know that fear, anxiety, and worry are only in the mind and that you can control those thoughts. I wish you all the absolute best and I hope you can find freedom and peace for yourselves as well. 


Jon


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Thanks Jon,

I've been listening to Eckhart Tolle for months now and I agree with everything you said. I hope more people look into mindfulness and Zen Buddhism as a way of eliminating anxiety and depression instead of resorting to drugs which only mask the problem. 

My mind and my ego are still very active in my life but those moments and periods of conscious awareness and tranquility are growing. 

You want to tell everyone about how great this is but no one will listen.


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## croakertbc (Mar 6, 2014)

Heya AngelClare, I actually came upon enlightenment on my own, but after it happened for me I've found Eckhart Tolle as well as others in Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, and history, and I found extremely striking similarities in them and their definitions of enlightenment. I was studying different spiritual and "metaphysical" beliefs, but my awakening to realize that everything just "is" happened when I had in a sense just tried to shut off my mind and just "be" in the moment. I wasn't really looking for it and just wanted to live quietly in the moment with no more fear, surrendered myself to that moment in many ways, and that's when it happened for me. When I did I instantly realized that I was observing myself and life from within essentially the whole, from within infinity, and knew I wasn't just my mind or ego. I was not religious before, and I'm not religious now either, but I know that I was able to completely abandon over 20 years of painful anxiety/stress/worry in literally an instant. I'm not selling anything here and have absolutely no agenda beyond hoping for others to be able to rid themselves of so much pain as well. It's just being alive in the moment with no fear or worry because those thoughts don't exist there when I'm just "being" alive, and knowing that I can control my mind and thoughts, mostly by knowing there really is no future or past to fret over or worry about. Since I know there is no definite future, and that the future only exists in our own minds, I don't have unrealistic, worrisome, or anxiety filled expectations for it or what "might" happen. Since I know the past is gone and beyond my reach in the moment it has become a tool for me to use that contains my memories of moments instead of a hinderence. There is nothing there to dwell over in the past either, or concern myself with, because it's gone and there's no reason to have it affect me now so I don't let it. Knowing I have power over my own perspective and life simply by choosing to live in the moment, and doing that, is awesome.

I wish there was a way to explain it where I could just give everyone a map to get there, but I just can't because I also know we can only ever have our own perspective. We're all completely connected in the same infinity of "stuff", but from our own unique perspectives. For those with more science oriented backgrounds, which may include several here if other folks here spent as much time online as I used to, know that Quantum Physics has shown that everything in the universe has been shown to be built from extremely small waves/particles of energy, and it requires an observer/measurement for it to take form/position in existence. We are observers inside of all that energy, and we're in our bodies and minds while we observe life from our unique perspectives. Complete connectedness and complete loneliness in a sense and sometimes I think we can get confused about that because it isn't black/white, me/you, fear/calm, or right/wrong. It's a bit of circular logic that is absolutely true, but not at all "logical" because it can't be defined as one thing or the other thing, because it's both.


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## croakertbc (Mar 6, 2014)

AngelClare said:


> Thanks Jon,
> 
> I've been listening to Eckhart Tolle for months now and I agree with everything you said. I hope more people look into mindfulness and Zen Buddhism as a way of eliminating anxiety and depression instead of resorting to drugs which only mask the problem.
> 
> ...


I just realized also that I replied to only part of your post, and not to you.

I know what it's like to have an active mind, and it has actually gotten fairly active for me as well here and there the last few weeks but I've been able to recognize it much more quickly and either use those thoughts or let them go. It can be difficult at times to pay attention to the moment, but at least for me it's gotten way easier as time has gone on, and the moments where I let "my mind wander" have been fewer and fewer.

A simple exercise that has helped me when I'm not living in the moment is that I'll imagine a single dot of energy in my body (usually it just happens to be inside my middle stomach area) as being there as I pay attention to what I'm seeing/hearing/feeling/smelling/etc. Alot of times that will get me right back on track to just being. Other times I'll imagine me as being all of the things and people I can see, and that'll get me back on track to the moment as well. Not sure if either will be helpful for you but they have been for me recently.

I don't have a system or belief currently and don't know much personally about Zen Buddhism, but if it's helping you that's great. From what I have studied of Zen and the other styles of Buddhism the core of them almost completely agrees with my own enlightenment, or transcending of the ego. I'm still researching them a bit further but I also want to explore this essentially "new" and wonderful life from my own perspective and don't want to get bogged down by beliefs, dogma, and definitions. It's an ongoing life process still, but one that is thankfully free of fear and worry now where I look forward to learning about and exploring it.

I hope and wish for the best for you!

Jon


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Jon,

It's good to find someone else who is on the same path. It's interesting that I was a physics major and I also have always known about how interconnected material reality is. I've always believed many of the things that Tolle teaches but it was never as clearly defined. 

I still have things that I'm struggling with but it feels like I know the way out. Living in the present moment is a daily practice. Being conscious is practice that you can engage in moment to moment. I"m trying not to see enlightenment or complete liberation from fear and anxiety as a goal. I'm just trying to enjoy my daily and moment to moment practice.

I wish I had known about this years ago. I could have avoided so much suffering but that is the past. But all my suffering probably helped to push me towards the truth.

I do wish I had friends here with similar beliefs.


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## Trones (May 15, 2014)

I get it... and it is amazing... but the future does exist, and the consequences of our present actions WILL be real, which means we should evaluate the potential consequences.


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## Trones (May 15, 2014)

Nvm **** it. I have problems.


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## croakertbc (Mar 6, 2014)

AngelClare said:


> Jon,
> 
> It's good to find someone else who is on the same path. It's interesting that I was a physics major and I also have always known about how interconnected material reality is. I've always believed many of the things that Tolle teaches but it was never as clearly defined.
> 
> ...


That's cool Angel my brother was studying optical physics years ago at the University of Arizona trying to get his Masters degree before he passed away. He had a difficult time trying to explain Quantum mechanics to me, but he loved exploring it. There's some really complicated theories there.

I can see why folks here might not think meditation to calm down the mind, and then trying to simply live in the moment, would help them. Or think it's silly, "spiritual", or "religious". I, before I lived life in the moment/now, would have likely felt the exact same way if I had read my own words just a few months ago but I decided to try meditation after so much else hadn't helped.

What does it cost folks to try living life this way, even just life now and then this way? No drugs required, no money required, no strenuous activity required, no group required, and no thought required (hehe, bit of circular logic there). Just do some meditation to calm down the body and the mind, feeling more connected to the body and mind, and trying to live in the moment without thoughts, expectations, or worries.

You make a great point Angel and complete "liberation"/"enlightenment" shouldn't be a goal because it's not a place or thing to go to. The truth is we're all "enlightened" it's just that it seems only a few "know" it's even there. I'm not sure why it works that way. I didn't even know this way of life, or truth of life is probably a better way to put it, even existed before this realization happened and simply wanted to come here to this forum to let folks know about it and how tremendous it's been.

Best of luck in life Angel and please don't forget to cut yourself some slack too and simply care about yourself as well.

Jon


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## croakertbc (Mar 6, 2014)

Trones said:


> I get it... and it is amazing... but the future does exist, and the consequences of our present actions WILL be real, which means we should evaluate the potential consequences.





Trones said:


> Nvm **** it. I have problems.


It's ok Trones, I totally understand where you're coming from and there's nothing wrong with putting down what you're thinking. I wouldn't take it personally. (I mean that for both of us.) It's a hard concept to get, and probably a better way to put it is that the future isn't written in stone or unchanging/unchangable. It just doesn't really exist as we "think" it might exist, that thought itself has nothing to do with the future and our present actions do create potential futures and consequences. Big actions can have big consequences, but little actions tend to have little consequences. The whole concept of consequences, the word consequences itself too, can be somewhat negative too. It's just a word though, a concept, and the "consequence" could be good too. We can "think" ourselves into a tiny and constrictive box of consequences, filled with an infinite amount of "negative" possibilities, that's damn hard to see ourselves out of. That tiny box of thoughts can become real to us in our own minds, and in our own reality, that box is where we live instead of in real life like your house, table, computer, and you do, where that box doesn't actually exist. It's only a creation of our minds. Our mind can create realities that simply don't exist outside of it. That's what living in the moment helps to do. To realize that in "real" life, you breathing, walking, living, is real and those thoughts and that constrictive box of consequences simply doesn't exist there in "real" life. It's hard to see that's true when you think you live only inside of your mind because that is what you "think" reality is, but they're just thoughts.

I also get how someone coming on here talking about being free in anyway from anxiety can be frustrating and how it could generate negative thoughts in someone. "Good for you, but I'm still stuck.", kinds of thoughts. I had those thoughts myself when I looked at this thread before. Mine were probably more like "Screw you and your happy ***, my life is miserable." That frustration and anger was just my own minds creation, and I just couldn't see that at the time.

I just came here to tell the story of the way I found peace and freedom from anxiety, and because I wanted to let folks here know how it happened, what made it happen, and how I'm continuing to live that way. Does it still require me to be aware and keep my attention focused on my life right now as I type this? Yes it does, but it's focus and awareness well spent.

I hope today is a good day for you Trones, and I really do wish you the best.

Jon


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## ALWAYSLate (May 4, 2014)

Great post croakertbc and glad to here your in better pastures now. It seems the struggles you are describing is the problems of overthinking, which is one of the main causes of social anxiety atleast for me. I have never looked into Buddhism or Taoism or Eckhart, but I have noticed when you don't think at all you are literally in the moment, consequences don't matter. 

The problem is when interacting with people I can't always get away with not thinking and anxiety will be triggered in one way or another. Stuffing a lot of facts and reality as much as you can in your head really helps to dealing with anxiety. Expectations is our greatest tool when dealing with people easily. However people can be unpredictable and when that happens anxiety comes back again.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

Great post and glad you are in a better place now, croackertbc.

Lately, I've found I can sort of suppress a lot of my SA if I really make myself aware of it and concentrate and changing my inner dialogue. Even reminding myself physically to relax helps too as I find that I subconsciously tense up when going into or already in a social or anxiety inducing situation.

If I remind myself to take deep slow breaths and relax my shoulders etc. I start to feel better. I can't do this every time but a few days ago I went to the grocery for a long shopping trip and was able to relax and overcome my SA for the entire time. It does tend to flare up and come back though. Still working on that.


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## croakertbc (Mar 6, 2014)

ALWAYSLate said:


> Great post croakertbc and glad to here your in better pastures now. It seems the struggles you are describing is the problems of overthinking, which is one of the main causes of social anxiety atleast for me. I have never looked into Buddhism or Taoism or Eckhart, but I have noticed when you don't think at all you are literally in the moment, consequences don't matter.
> 
> The problem is when interacting with people I can't always get away with not thinking and anxiety will be triggered in one way or another. Stuffing a lot of facts and reality as much as you can in your head really helps to dealing with anxiety. Expectations is our greatest tool when dealing with people easily. However people can be unpredictable and when that happens anxiety comes back again.


Hey there, with me that was absolutely my biggest problem before, overthinking. I actually didn't look into anything specific but all religions and their similarities, and just decided to try meditation because I was willing to try anything at all at that point. I also hear you with interacting with people being tougher and I've had moments still where old reactions (tenseness, fear, fight/flight) would start happening when around people but I'm able to recognize it and let it go pretty quickly. As well as not dwell on the fact that it happened and just forgive myself for that irrational fear, which is a huge thing I didn't even "think" to do before.

Expectations are nearly impossible in my previous experiences, and I don't even try at all to have them now. I definitely used to though and would create positive scenarios in my head for interactions of all types, even friends, and try to think of every possible angle of anxiety and head it off in the scenario I'd play out in my mind, but like you mentioned people can be unpredictable. Not having any preconceived, or pre-thought, moments may seem scary but all those thoughts/expectations/scenarios do is actually add to anxiety. Thinking about anxiety, before the possibility of any anxiety "might" ever be there. I used to think I was more prepared by doing that, and running through as many scenarios in my head as I could, but they almost never actually played out like any of the scenarios I had spent so much time "thinking" and worrying over.

Hope you can find some peace as well Always.

Jon


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## croakertbc (Mar 6, 2014)

Darktower776 said:


> Great post and glad you are in a better place now, croackertbc.
> 
> Lately, I've found I can sort of suppress a lot of my SA if I really make myself aware of it and concentrate and changing my inner dialogue. Even reminding myself physically to relax helps too as I find that I subconsciously tense up when going into or already in a social or anxiety inducing situation.
> 
> If I remind myself to take deep slow breaths and relax my shoulders etc. I start to feel better. I can't do this every time but a few days ago I went to the grocery for a long shopping trip and was able to relax and overcome my SA for the entire time. It does tend to flare up and come back though. Still working on that.


Hey tower, I think recognizing those thoughts, or physical reactions as well, the moment they do come up is important and helpful in making them less powerful/stressful. I'm not immune now, but I don't have any fear or worry before hand about it coming up, I can recognize it and handle it (as you mentioned you're doing), and I don't worry about it after and just let it go into the past that's gone. Right now if I start to get my old anxiety thoughts, or anxiety starts to come up in kind of a tense physical flash, I let the thoughts go away and just let the physical tenseness or face flushing happen, and then continue on without thinking about it. If I have to take a moment to calm down, or just get a good breath, what's to stop me from just doing that? Only my mind. Keeping up with what is working for you will make it easier for sure over time.

I think one of the huge things that I did a lot that likely made my anxiety worse and worse, was beating myself up for how stupid I was for the needless anxiety I felt, my reactions to it, as well as being angry at "it" (my mind) for screwing me over so badly and making my life so miserable. I think forgiving yourself for those moments and loving yourself is big too, and that can be hard to do as well but I think it's important. Beating myself up over it only magnified my anxiety over time.

Hope you continue to have less and less SA.

Jon


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## ASAR (Sep 14, 2010)

This is Eckhard Tolle teaching and it consist endles power and unspeakeble wholnes/STILLNES .....

im Happy that you are in this atmosphere now..that you had this powerful insight and that you can wisit a place in which a choice exists wheter we will 

be in 
or 
out of it

Choice whether will you suffer or you will be free in the stillnes to shine trough you..
You said "" but I'm able to recognize it quickly and let it go.."" THIS is where you catch me this is where i readed all your longer post..because i remember!! i remember how i use to and how i still somethimes can "" let it go.""

Its like whn we are armed with this knowlegde, that there is a power in us that it is so close even closer than our heart... which help us to breake intho stillnes ..to allow us to remind ourselfs of Great unspeakable/OMNIPOTENT



And than we can________________ ":dead ________________ "let it go"


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

croakertbc said:


> I think one of the huge things that I did a lot that likely made my anxiety worse and worse, was beating myself up for how stupid I was for the needless anxiety I felt, my reactions to it, as well as being angry at "it" (my mind) for screwing me over so badly and making my life so miserable. I think forgiving yourself for those moments and loving yourself is big too, and that can be hard to do as well but I think it's important. Beating myself up over it only magnified my anxiety over time.


Yeah this sounds so true to me. It is hard to get over the shame and beating yourself up for things in the past. I tend to do this semi frequently and it does nothing but make me feel worse. Trying not to or stop myself from doing it.

Getting over the past- the years I wasted etc.- can be a daunting challenge.



> Hope you continue to have less and less SA.
> 
> Jon


Same to you.


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## Trones (May 15, 2014)

Thanks croaker. I came to the same realization as you did about 2 years ago. 

Unfortunately I am letting myself think that because I am now in the same situation as I was 5-6 years ago, before the Army, that somehow I need to act the way I used to before I left... and be quiet/shy/reserved/not taking social risks... simply because all my Christian acquaintances remember me that way.

Maybe its because if I was awesome/had fun with life/lived! then people would get offended?

All the more reason to get this new career started and move the **** out and make some normal friends again.

---------------------

People don't like it when their family/friends change.

Any ideas on how to deal with this?


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## idolizechristinasalgado (Mar 21, 2013)

Hmm interesting. I don't meditate but focusing on the moment at hand used to help me as far as slowing down and ignoring my thoughts, I'll try it out!


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## croakertbc (Mar 6, 2014)

Darktower776 said:


> Yeah this sounds so true to me. It is hard to get over the shame and beating yourself up for things in the past. I tend to do this semi frequently and it does nothing but make me feel worse. Trying not to or stop myself from doing it.
> 
> Getting over the past- the years I wasted etc.- can be a daunting challenge.
> 
> Same to you.


Thanks tower, I appreciate it. As far as the past goes, try to not think about it as a daunting challenge because then it'll be that. If it pops up in my thoughts I just think that it's ok, that time is just gone and done, and then let it go since there's nothing to be done about it now.

An example for me was my cat who I kept around while he was really sick and in pain, without taking him to the vet a few months ago because I was scared to get out in the world and I was terrified of losing him. I eventually overcame my fear and worry out of my empathy for him because I loved him so much and didn't want to see him suffer. I ended up euthanizing him after finding out how badly his body was shutting down, a huge stone in his ureter from his failed kidneys is just one example.

If thoughts come up about him, or my inaction and my fear/anxiety letting him live in pain, and they still do fairly often, I just remember that I loved him very much and that there's nothing to be done about it now, and then I let it go. I already knew then that I could have, and should have done things differently, but I also know that beating myself up over it doesn't do anything but hurt myself right now. By paying more attention and being aware to live in the moment, if/when I do get another pet I know I'll be able to see that something may be wrong and be free to actually do something about it, without letting thoughts, worry, and anxiety make my decisions for me.

Jon


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## croakertbc (Mar 6, 2014)

idolizechristinasalgado said:


> Hmm interesting. I don't meditate but focusing on the moment at hand used to help me as far as slowing down and ignoring my thoughts, I'll try it out!


Sweet, good luck!

Jon


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## croakertbc (Mar 6, 2014)

Trones said:


> Thanks croaker. I came to the same realization as you did about 2 years ago.
> 
> Unfortunately I am letting myself think that because I am now in the same situation as I was 5-6 years ago, before the Army, that somehow I need to act the way I used to before I left... and be quiet/shy/reserved/not taking social risks... simply because all my Christian acquaintances remember me that way.
> 
> ...


No problem Trones, and I'd say you're free to act and live how you want to. It may be possible that you're worried about things that aren't actually a worry. I used to try to read people, and thought I was really empathetic and could judge a way someone was thinking, but most of the time I actually turned out to be wrong if I just asked them. It's impossible to know what someone else's life is like, and what they're thinking, and thinking and worrying about it doesn't do anything for you. They can't know what your life and experiences are like, and what you're thinking either.

People can be against change and afraid of it, and I was too, which is weird because that's all life ever actually is. Everything, moment to moment, changes and moves in one way or another. I've gotten some interesting reactions since I've started to reconnect with extended family that I abandoned over the years, and though some have been skeptical of what's happened to me, overall they're just happy to hear from me. Everyone is really busy living their own lives for the most part, and I'd say just get busy with living yours and love your friends and family while doing that. You can't live your life for someone else because all you've got is your own perspective in this life, and they've got theirs. You can't worry what their unique perspective is like, or imagine it, because it's not your unique perspective. In a very real way we're each the center of the universe, from each perspective everything and everyone else is in a way "outside" of them and around them. We're also all in the same place/universe/infinity though, and all made of exactly the same stuff, so we're also completely connected as well. It's important to not directly actively or consciously hurt anyone (you'll also hurt yourself doing that), but if someone feels hurt by you just living and exploring your own life and existence then that is their choice and not yours. If you're really concerned about how someone is feeling about something, the best way to get any idea what may be bothering them is to ask them. I've asked my one friend that stuck with me over the years, and that I didn't push away, what's on his mind here and there and I've found that my assumptions were usually way off from his actually thoughts. His concerns were not my concerns, and vice versa.

Jon


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## croakertbc (Mar 6, 2014)

ASAR said:


> This is Eckhard Tolle teaching and it consist endles power and unspeakeble wholnes/STILLNES .....
> 
> im Happy that you are in this atmosphere now..that you had this powerful insight and that you can wisit a place in which a choice exists wheter we will
> 
> ...


I found Eckhard's youtube's and teachings after my own "experience" and it definitely agrees with his. I'm happy he's out there helping folks and sharing the truth that he found. It's a really wonderful way to live.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

I would say out of everything, this is one of my most major problems with SA. Does anyone else experience this?

This is one of the behaviors I'm trying to break. Whenever I have a social interaction with someone for longer than 5 seconds I keep dwelling and thinking back on it over and over again after the fact.

I analyze my behavior and what I said and how I acted. Then I think about the other person's reactions and what they said back. It is mentally and emotionally draining.

Trying to force myself not to do this anymore but it's hard.


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## HelpfulHero (Aug 14, 2013)

I get so close to this sometimes and then I move so far away.


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## ASAR (Sep 14, 2010)

croakertbc said:


> I found Eckhard's youtube's and teachings after my own "experience" and it definitely agrees with his. I'm happy he's out there helping folks and sharing the truth that he found. It's a really wonderful way to live.


I belive He is very advanced soul on this Earth ..God will never leave us witthout the ones who can show us true path.
Allso we are geting those souls more and more since this world has become sad place and dangeurs not only for us but for universe.


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## ASAR (Sep 14, 2010)

Darktower776 said:


> I would say out of everything, this is one of my most major problems with SA. Does anyone else experience this?
> 
> This is one of the behaviors I'm trying to break. Whenever I have a social interaction with someone for longer than 5 seconds I keep dwelling and thinking back on it over and over again after the fact.
> 
> ...


Heres litlle Jedi wisdom

"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose."
"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."
"Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealously. The shadow of greed, that is."

Also watch movie The Hurricane! Denzel w.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

ASAR said:


> Heres litlle Jedi wisdom
> 
> "Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose."
> "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."
> ...


Thank you, Master Yoda. I shall become a jedi like my father before me.


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## Caterpillar13 (Nov 10, 2013)

SO WHAT WOULD I GOOGLE TO SEE IF THERE IS A COURSE LIKE THIS IN IRELAND?? I would really love to try master it!!! Sounds peaceful.


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## Caterpillar13 (Nov 10, 2013)

Darktower776 said:


> I would say out of everything, this is one of my most major problems with SA. Does anyone else experience this?
> 
> This is one of the behaviors I'm trying to break. Whenever I have a social interaction with someone for longer than 5 seconds I keep dwelling and thinking back on it over and over again after the fact.
> 
> ...


Yes I do it too, I could be in slight panic going over n over it, and picturing the persons facial expressions etc or times I looked away, times I spoke to quickly, or real or imagined strange looks the person gave me, stupid things I said etc.
My mother has said to me for maybe 10 years that I over analyse everything (I'm 27) when I was younger it was so bad that I would keep counting to 5 over n over again to try stop my mind racing about the subject..I would have sounded crazy if anyone heard me!!
Sometimes on my lowest days a random awkward interaction can pop up in my head from even years ago


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## croakertbc (Mar 6, 2014)

Darktower776 said:


> I would say out of everything, this is one of my most major problems with SA. Does anyone else experience this?
> 
> This is one of the behaviors I'm trying to break. Whenever I have a social interaction with someone for longer than 5 seconds I keep dwelling and thinking back on it over and over again after the fact.
> 
> ...


I actually notice myself still doing that tower here and there and I think the key might to just start getting used to letting all past things go unless they're relevant to what's going on right at that moment when they pop up (even the good ones since they're gone too) and if they're hard to let go to not beat yourself up over it when it is. The more you do that and live right now, like the moment you're reading this, as opposed to the past that's gone and the future that isn't there the easier it'll get. The forgiving yourself when it gets tough to do is just as big too I think. It can seem really hard because it's a big inconceivable goal in the future, but if you just think about doing it right now, and do try to do it every moment when you get there, it's not so big anymore.

Jon


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