# you have to see this! great link to ppl with SA!



## Sweetangel (Jan 12, 2005)

http://www.gethappy.net/v213.htm <-- thats a section about "developing an outgoing personality. its kinda long so i advise to print and read in bed.
BUT it will help you understand social codes, the way relationships and social judgement goes, and you will notice it is exactly like real life situations that you see everyday and its so true. it teaches you social codes which you did not get and how it all works, how to attain it.
but don't read the first chapter (3 paragraphs) it tells you only why outgoing extroverted people are happier, definetly read the rest.

the home-page (how to be happy-how to attain it) http://www.gethappy.net/bookhm.htm


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## PuzzledMike (Nov 30, 2004)

Sweetangel - this looks extremely useful. Thanks for providing this information and the links.


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## dreaminoftomorrow (Jan 9, 2005)

wow, this site is really so great! Thanks so much for the link!!! :banana


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## unknown69 (Mar 20, 2005)

Thank you so much for the link to that article. I have needed that more now than ever. My goal for the next to weeks is to smile and say hi to all my co-workers. It will be interesting to see their reactions! They may be like :wtf , I don't know, but I will find out. Thanks.


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## Anxiety75 (Feb 10, 2004)

Wow, I'm glad they explained that the way they did. Especially about facial expressions. i know that people, including myself look mad or sad when we are not really like that and it turns people off. Smiling is a good idea, just really hard in social situations.


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## Jochy (Mar 1, 2005)

that is so great!!!, you really deserve that nickname

:thanks


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## Sweetangel (Jan 12, 2005)

Jochy said:


> that is so great!!!, you really deserve that nickname
> 
> :thanks


aww thanx!


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## AlienOnEarth (Dec 5, 2004)

It is an excellent site, thanks for sharing it with us!


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## Ryanoles (Aug 4, 2004)

Thanks.


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## jsainter (Apr 13, 2005)

Thank you, dear sweetangel! You are truly that! :squeeze 

jsr


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## heavymetal (Jan 28, 2005)

That has some interesting ideas...

I should smile more, too. When I do, I often notice the other person at least returning a grin.

I'm not sure about the "Stay Quiet" idea. I ask people lots of questions, and sometimes with strangers, they will act like I'm prying, even when the questions are very much small talk. Maybe I'm not smiling enough when I ask them questions. :stu


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Thank you, Sweetangel!


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## shyguydan (Dec 30, 2004)

Thanks a million Sweetangel, you were sent from above


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## willy_wonka (Jan 31, 2005)

baby this is gold! Gold I tell you! 

I read the chapter you recommended and am going to try all the exercises out. I so have to practice all this. I'm gonna definitloy print and read this whole book. What could be a more relevant topic than Happiness??
D


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## 4relief (Mar 30, 2005)

:thanks


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## willy_wonka (Jan 31, 2005)

So I'm going through the video series on there all 14 hours! I find it very interesting though. The doctor reminds me of Willy Wonka from Charlie and the Chocolate factory (the old version) with his coatails and twirling baton and chipper attitude and fast talking.


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## idreamofu (Jan 17, 2005)

wow this link seriously offers lots of great advice, thank you!


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## Sweetangel (Jan 12, 2005)

willy_wonka said:


> So I'm going through the video series on there all 14 hours! I find it very interesting though. The doctor reminds me of Willy Wonka from Charlie and the Chocolate factory (the old version) with his coatails and twirling baton and chipper attitude and fast talking.


lol yeah. i watched the first one already.


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## One on One (Nov 17, 2003)

willy_wonka said:


> So I'm going through the video series on there all 14 hours! I find it very interesting though. The doctor reminds me of Willy Wonka from Charlie and the Chocolate factory (the old version) with his coatails and twirling baton and chipper attitude and fast talking.


I can't find the video series. Where is it?


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## willy_wonka (Jan 31, 2005)

Go to his main home page. I think it is happiness.net and there is a menu there with his lecture series.


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## One on One (Nov 17, 2003)

gethappy.net

found it. thanks.


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## One on One (Nov 17, 2003)

I read a quote on Fundamental 10 which describes my life to a T:



> But shy, quiet people find such simple "greeting behaviors" difficult. They prefer to walk right by people -- even those they see daily -- without any outward sign of recognition. It's not that shy people don't notice people around them; and it's not that they don't like people. It's usually that they're just too scared of people to initiate contact first. Indeed, many shyer individuals feel so inadequate about themselves, they're convinced that others don't want to be bothered by any greeting they might give. This sad state of affairs for the lonely, shy person. And, it is compounded by the highly ironical fact that many shy individuals are mistakenly viewed by others as being conceited and "stuck-up!"


Very sad...I hope to change this.


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## Sweetangel (Jan 12, 2005)

One on One said:


> I read a quote on Fundamental 10 which describes my life to a T:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 :agree this apply's to most of us


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## willy_wonka (Jan 31, 2005)

Yeah I'm realizing how much being a social extrovert is a factor of happiness.


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## butterfly1979 (Dec 2, 2003)

thank you thank you sweet angel


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## Sweetangel (Jan 12, 2005)

butterfly1979 said:


> thank you thank you sweet angel


welcome hun!


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## daphne (Dec 4, 2004)

Thanks for sharing! It looks good and I will read when I have time!


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## willy_wonka (Jan 31, 2005)

I'm going to watch the 14th and final video in the series tongiht. Very good!


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## kennybenny (May 8, 2005)

thanks
it will help alot


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## Sweetangel (Jan 12, 2005)

willy_wonka said:


> I'm going to watch the 14th and final video in the series tongiht. Very good!


cool tell me if you learnt much and if its worth it, i only watched the first 2 and maybe i'll watch the 3rd soon.. and did u use his tips??? how did they affect u?


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## willy_wonka (Jan 31, 2005)

Sweetangel said:


> willy_wonka said:
> 
> 
> > I'm going to watch the 14th and final video in the series tongiht. Very good!
> ...


Yeah I learned lots. I'm probably going to print out the book too and read it if it is not too thick. Like the previous poster, I have trouble being mr smiley, but I did meet several people in a bar one night while purposefully smiling. Often I just forget to smile.

Of course there is much more to this all than a smiling technique and I've been applying many of the other things hes suggests. ANd they are all very affecttive. It takes discipline to watch all those grainy videos, but I tihink it is totally worth it.


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## daphne (Dec 4, 2004)

Sweetangel said:


> One on One said:
> 
> 
> > I read a quote on Fundamental 10 which describes my life to a T:
> ...


 :agree I'm also going to check out the videos, they sound very helpful!


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## HiMyNameIs (Oct 27, 2004)

I just finished reading Fundamental 10 what's another good fundamental to read that helps with SA??? The stuff is really interesting... i have trouble smiling i feel funny when i smile, i feel like i look crazy when i smile w/e i'll give it a try!


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## bluewater01 (Jan 11, 2004)

The next chapter, Be Yourself is really good too. You can get there at the bottom of the page. Scroll half-way down the page where it talks about shy-types.


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## HiMyNameIs (Oct 27, 2004)

I like printing it out is the whole chapter good to print out?


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## HiMyNameIs (Oct 27, 2004)

I liked the "Be Yourself" chapter it was very true. I do think a lot before I tend to do stuff and that's how I get held back on doing things. I really wish i could just do things without thinking but it's hard! is it even possible!?!?!


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## willy_wonka (Jan 31, 2005)

HiMyNameIs said:


> I just finished reading Fundamental 10 what's another good fundamental to read that helps with SA??? The stuff is really interesting... i have trouble smiling i feel funny when i smile, i feel like i look crazy when i smile w/e i'll give it a try!


Uhm I think this entire book and subject should be read. Not just certain chapters. As I read all the habits of unhappy people I keep being reminded of how people here at these boards are doing just these things, that make them unhappy. I've watched all the videos and now I'm reading the book. If your short on time just skip the videos and read the book wich is more up to date. I just read a chapter a day.


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## Wanting_To_Be_Better (Feb 28, 2005)

Printed!!

I am going to read it tonight when I get home from work!

My boyfriend is crazy extroverted, and I of course am introverted, so it is about time I level things out!


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## crazyg (Jun 18, 2005)

That's a really cool article. I've always thought one-on-one conversations were better than group conversations generally and it was interesting to see this idea articulated further. 
Thanks for this.


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## Mr 47 (Jun 27, 2005)

I've been reading through this, and it seems that this is the things i have done lately (by instinct?) like smiling alot more, saying hi to people i know as they walk past, but i still have the problem of body reactions like heavy breathing, stuttering, fast heart beat. How can i stop these kind of things?


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## Sweetangel (Jan 12, 2005)

Mr 47 said:


> I've been reading through this, and it seems that this is the things i have done lately (by instinct?) like smiling alot more, saying hi to people i know as they walk past, but i still have the problem of body reactions like heavy breathing, stuttering, fast heart beat. How can i stop these kind of things?


cool i think its great you're trying it, the rapid heart beats sounds like a side effect of fear (social anxiety) so work on ways to reduce anxiety like meditating and relaxing and learn how to come back to the peace and calmness you feel during meditation in social situations.


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