# For those who have dated other SASers



## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

I was wondering; under what circumstances did your relationship start? That is, did you start dating after you had already met face to face? Before? Have you never met face to face yet?


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## Podee (Aug 4, 2011)

My last bf had sa, and whole bunch of other issues. We met online on a fairly small site with stuff like blogs and forums and communicated on there for about a month or two. We lived pretty nearby and met up when we were both going to the same gig. We didn't date but we became close friends quickly and after a while of hanging out feelings developed and it started from there. Back then, when I didn't have much of a social life, most my relationships and friendships originated on the internet. It was just easier to make that connection and develop it which never used to happen with people face to face.


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

yeah, we did sas forum, then saschat, then webcam chat, then did big sas meetup and there was instant attraction. Then we met alone and BAM, relationship time! yay!!! its been fun time ever since


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## zubie (May 27, 2016)

No i haven't dated an SAS personally. But.. a friend which i see very occasionally went to a dating site and met someone right off the bat and he was very shy, and on their dates they would just be together in silence. because speaking was hard for him. And she told him shyness is much preferred to loudness so take all the time he needs.

That was a year ago when they started dating. Oh and now they are getting married. It's really sweet.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

There used to be a lot of couples on this site, but most don't post here anymore. There are still a few though, and I see this is a really old thread why am I still typing.


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## ActuallyBrittany (Jun 30, 2016)




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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

There have been A LOT of couples that met here, more than I've seen from any other forum I've been on.


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

I think there's a couple that's together and is engaged? (or maybe married? I'm not sure, I don't feel like searching for the thread though). I've seen a few couples start since I've been a member here in the last six years.

I dated a member here, and it started out just talking on sas, then texting, then texting all day and night, then phone calls (which was difficult for me) then meeting up but it didn't work out 

It's not something I regret doing, she's an awesome woman  but I just think two anxious, depressed-as-*** people dating each other is not a good place to start. I'm really happy for the couples here that have made it but I think the odds would be stacked against that working out.


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## Serefina (Oct 6, 2015)

My last boyfriend and I didn't meet on this site but we met on a similar one and we both have social anxiety. We went from PM's to texting. He then drove over 150 miles to meet me and we ended up dating after that.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

I made a thread about moving to the wilderness but needing a woman and a dog to go with me. She liked that thread and visited my profile. I said to myself, "Well now, who is this...?" And then I visited her profile. And so I reached out. And then we fell in love. And then she fell out of love. And now I'm posting this. Lol.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

I killed her, eventually.


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## noydb (Jun 29, 2016)

Where would you vent about them?? You'd need to find a new site. Gotta think about these things..


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Me and my current gf just noticed we shared similar taste in music and started messaging each other. The rest is history. We didn't become an official couple until after we met for the 2nd time.


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## GunnyHighway (Sep 28, 2010)

Used to. Just noticed similar interests, she had seemed to just gotten out of a relationship and needed someone to talk to, and it snowballed from there. We flew out to see each other, once each, then found out I was kinda just a side dude and got pretty angry. Nasty posts here ensued and I had to leave for the sake of everyone. As lonely as I am I don't think I could do long distance again without having to constantly worry about whether or not I'm the only guy.


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

GunnyHighway said:


> We flew out to see each other, once each, then found out I was kinda just a side dude and got pretty angry.


Wow !.
Those long distance things are really bad investments, i will never get that close with some women on here. This just can't work imo.


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## GunnyHighway (Sep 28, 2010)

Overdrive said:


> Wow !.
> Those long distance things are really bad investments, i will never get that close with some women on here. This just can't work imo.


It sure ****ing hurt at the time, and it still sucks when it pops into my head from time to time. However as much as it sucked I got to take part in some experiences I've never had before. Not quite as much as I had hoped....but some stuff.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I get the feeling they see a pic here that they like and then start messaging each other:

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f16/post-a-pic-of-yourself-right-now-593889/


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## Virgo (Jun 27, 2016)

I think it's fair to say I'm dating a SASer but not in a relationship. We live far away. I am flying out to see him New Year's Eve. We started going back and fourth one day on the "Just For Fun" forum I think, and then talked more in other random forum posts.... then back when I actually had chat online here (it's always 100% offline now) we started instant messaging, then Skyping, then yeah now we are seeing each other for the second time!


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I've been here a while and noticed most of the more mentally healthy (and/or more sociable,) people here will get into a relationship with someone at some point from this forum, unless they're in a relationship with someone else already. It happens a lot.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

We were friends and fell in love, started the relationship before meeting IRL.


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

Amphoteric said:


> started the relationship before meeting IRL.


for me this sounds wtf. how is this possible? did you use skype with him before meeting?


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

ljubo said:


> for me this sounds wtf. how is this possible? did you use skype with him before meeting?


Yes, video and voice chatting and all that.


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## Nitrogen (Dec 24, 2012)

Almost two years now, fortunately we live pretty close to each other for an ldr so I get to visit him 2-4x times/year. Knowing how anxious and aloof I am irl, I would've never ended up in a relationship if I hadn't met him.



Persephone The Dread said:


> I've been here a while and noticed most of the more mentally healthy (and/or more sociable,) people here will get into a relationship with someone at some point from this forum, unless they're in a relationship with someone else already. It happens a lot.


Neither of us are mentally healthy :lol I think a lot of why we ended up together would be familiarity around mental illness but ofc that isn't the foundation or main building block of our relationship.


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## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)

????


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Nitrogen said:


> Almost two years now, fortunately we live pretty close to each other for an ldr so I get to visit him 2-4x times/year.


Pretty close and you only visit a max 4 times a year?


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## Nitrogen (Dec 24, 2012)

Kevin001 said:


> Pretty close and you only visit a max 4 times a year?


Most ldrs I've seen, the people don't see each other really that often at all. Once a year if they're lucky. Taking work, school, obligations (time, distance) into account makes it even more difficult.

So yeah I'm sure there's a lot of long distance out there that'd love to be able to see their partner up to 4+ times a year.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Nitrogen said:


> Most ldrs I've seen, the people don't see each other really that often at all. Once a year if they're lucky. Taking work, school, obligations (time, distance) into account makes it even more difficult.
> 
> So yeah I'm sure there's a lot of long distance out there that'd love to be able to see their partner up to 4+ times a year.


I couldn't be that guy. How far is close though? I live 3hrs away from my girl and we've seen each other ever other month so far and we are both hella busy. I wish it could be every month tbh or sooner.


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## Nitrogen (Dec 24, 2012)

Kevin001 said:


> I couldn't be that guy. How far is close though? I live 3hrs away from my girl and we've seen each other ever other month so far and we are both hella busy. I wish it could be every month tbh or sooner.


It's relative but I'm a 45 minute plane ride away (drive 6 hours). Don't have much flexibility when it comes to scheduling tickets and working around our uni schedules though.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Nitrogen said:


> It's relative but I'm a 45 minute plane ride away (drive 6 hours). Don't have much flexibility when it comes to scheduling tickets and working around our uni schedules though.


Hmm ok, if it works for you guys that is all that matters I guess. Best of luck to the both of us. :smile2:


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## AceEmoKid (Apr 27, 2012)

Nitrogen said:


> It's relative but I'm a 45 minute plane ride away (drive 6 hours). Don't have much flexibility when it comes to scheduling tickets and working around our uni schedules though.


It's more like an hour and 10 minutes, hun.

For the person asking, we live in different states and we're both poor, full-time uni students. Not to mention I don't know how to drive, and my boyfriend does not own his own car. So only option is flying -- whenever school breaks match up & work permits (and I have no other obligations) -- which is expensive.

We typically see each other 3 times a year, but for an extended period of time (usually two weeks). We will be living together very soon, anyway.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

AceEmoKid said:


> We typically see each other 3 times a year, but for an extended period of time (usually two weeks). We will be living together very soon, anyway.


2 wks? Ok that makes up for loss time definitely. Congrats. :smile2:


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