# Anyone here Mormon?



## billybob00

I'm curious if anyone here is Mormon? I'd like to see how you cope with anxiety/depression/whatever-you-have living in the Mormon bubble. 

In case you're wondering, I myself am Mormon


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## addictedtochaos

I was raised Mormon, I'm not active anymore. I didn't cope with my SA well then and I still don't now.


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## itsmemaggi

Going to church weekly will, I hope, help me cope with life better. Making my Heavenly Father more important than my own anxieties means attending services, despite how difficult it may be, responding to any and all promptings of the Spirit, and fulfilling any callings that may be addressed for me. I'm also looking into the book _Reaching For Hope : An LDS Perspective on Recovering from Depression_, by Meghan Decker.

xoxo
Maggi


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## Ventress

I'm LDS, too, and was born and raised in the Church. But, I've been "inactive," if that's the right word for me, mostly for the past two years. It's not like my testimony is less than it was. In fact, I feel as if it's better these days, but I don't go because I'm too terrified. 

I feel bad about it, but what can I do? I just feel like I don't belong any where. I hate my family ward because the same 20 people are constantly asking me what I'm doing with my life (which is NOTHING!) and the kids in my singles ward are all stuck-up and clique-ish. I'm almost too old for the singles ward anyway, but I really do NOT want to be around the same old people I grew up with in my family ward. It embarrasses me so much whenever they ask about my life. I do NOTHING, and yet, they ask again the very next week as if they're waiting for me to give them the answer they want!

Last time I went to my singles ward, about a year ago, I felt so out of place and no one even talked to me, expect for this girl who no longer goes to that ward anymore. Maybe, it's good that no one would talk to me; there is a bright side to that if you have SAD. But, I couldn't help but feel like such a reject; like an old, ugly, and fat chick who doesn't belong with all the young, pretty people. 

I guess I need to figure out what to do because I really want to go back to church regularly. If only it were easier, like how it was when I was a kid... :afr


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## jane

Ventress said:


> I hate my family ward because the same 20 people are constantly asking me what I'm doing with my life


Hear hear! News spreads through the church faster than light. I casually mention to nosey lady #1 I'm thinking about applying to BYU. One week later, people are asking me when I'm leaving.


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## Ventress

jane said:


> Ventress said:
> 
> 
> 
> I hate my family ward because the same 20 people are constantly asking me what I'm doing with my life
> 
> 
> 
> Hear hear! News spreads through the church faster than light. I casually mention to nosey lady #1 I'm thinking about applying to BYU. One week later, people are asking me when I'm leaving.
Click to expand...

I just hate being asked that question because I have nothing going for me, like, ever! I haven't set foot in that ward for over three years and nothing's really changed for me since I last showed my face there. I would be too humiliated to ever go back there only to report to the nosy folks that I still have nothing going for me even three-plus years later.

Sometimes, I wish I could just plead the Fifth and not seem weird in doing that... :um


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## Argo

I'm wondering, what's a family ward, a singles ward?


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## Ventress

Argo said:


> I'm wondering, what's a family ward, a singles ward?


Okay, a "family ward" is a congregation made up of families and people of all ages (like any religious congregation).

A "singles ward" is a congregation made up of young single adults between the ages of 18 and 30 only. No families, kids, old people, etc. It's meant to get those singles to pair off and get married, if they so choose...


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## enith1750

I was raised Mormon also, but I have been inactive for a long time. I dont know if its the fact that I am just older, or that maybe I just dont care as much about what people are going to think of me, I am handling my SA better than I ever have before. I know that alot of meditating and soul-searching helped me come over the hump. I still have my bad days, but I am thankful that I dont live a life where everyday is a mental horror movie.


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## rainribbon

I was raised LDS and am very strong in my beliefs. But, I have spent many Sundays sitting in my car too scared to go join the rest of the ward. Then, I would lie to my family about how wonderful church was, and feel even worse inside.

I was sick to my stomach all morning today because I was suppose to go on splits with the sister missionaries. After they called to cancel the appointment, I just laid down on my bed and cried.

If I am able to visit even one person on my VT list, I consider it a great accomplishment. I can't attend Relief Society because it is just too much for me and I feel very alone in a church that is so social.


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## Ventress

rainribbon said:


> I was raised LDS and am very strong in my beliefs. But, I have spent many Sundays sitting in my car too scared to go join the rest of the ward. Then, I would lie to my family about how wonderful church was, and feel even worse inside.
> 
> I was sick to my stomach all morning today because I was suppose to go on splits with the sister missionaries. After they called to cancel the appointment, I just laid down on my bed and cried.
> 
> If I am able to visit even one person on my VT list, I consider it a great accomplishment. I can't attend Relief Society because it is just too much for me and I feel very alone in a church that is so social.


This is just how I feel! (At least there's one other soul on earth besides me.) I want to go back to church, but I just can't face all those chatty, inquisitive people who cannot relate to how terrified I am of being there. At least you can go to some meetings. I can barely sit through Sacrament unless a really good friend is next to me to calm me down. I'm okay with friends I know won't judge me, but I have very few friends in my singles ward any more. Plus, I hate feeling like I stand out because of how I look or because I'm acting so aversive to people. Sometimes, I wish it didn't have to be so social, but it kind of has to be, ya know? :afr


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## sunshineNmysoul

Sometimes it can be hard to go places where you feel alone but I promise you that if you will do this God will help you. We get discouraged because we think that these anxiety problems we face can never go away or be healed. This is NOT TRUE!! God our Father in Heaven created US! We are HIS children. We are not perfect here on earth and have weaknesses and individual trials to overcome but He has promised that He will make our weaknesses become strengths as we TRUST in Him, have FAITH in Him, and follow Him. I know this is true. I would not be where I am today without my Father in Heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ. Turn this pain over to the Lord so He can heal you.


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## kiirby

Surely mormons wouldn't be able to use computers? Or am I getting my sects mixed up?


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## Amocholes

kiirby said:


> Surely mormons wouldn't be able to use computers? Or am I getting my sects mixed up?


I think you are thinking of the Amish.


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## kiirby

You're right, my bad.


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## Knowla

Church was the first place I was able to leave home for. Pretty much all of my acquaintances are from chruch. Only my visiting teachers know I have SA though.


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## LALoner

Amocholes said:


> I think you are thinking of the Amish.


I think he was just trying to be funny.


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## kiirby

LALoner said:


> I think he was just trying to be funny.


No, I was thinking of the Amish. Forgive me for being so ignorant about the names of christian denominations.


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## Knowla

LOL, Mormons are conservative, but we are not Amish. There's lots of differences.


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## seahero

I'm a Mormon and I'm active in a singles ward. It's hard, though. I have to leave during sunday school sometimes just to find a quiet place outside where I can sit alone. I'm usually late to meetings so I don't have to talk to people. And once the meetings are over, I leave pretty quickly, so people don't look at me. I'm lucky to have some roommates that are pretty friendly with me, so they ease the tension a bit.


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## LALoner

I'm in my mid 40s and have never married and barely even dated because I'm so messed up from my childhood. So if I joined the Mormons would they put me in the family ward and treat me like a freak? Or would I be in the singles ward and be surrounded by teenagers who think I'm a freak?


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## seahero

LALoner said:


> I'm in my mid 40s and have never married and barely even dated because I'm so messed up from my childhood. So if I joined the Mormons would they put me in the family ward and treat me like a freak? Or would I be in the singles ward and be surrounded by teenagers who think I'm a freak?


I would hope not, but there are people everywhere who just don't understand how hard it is to be new to a religion, even without social anxiety. I would hope they wouldn't look down on you, but there are many who do--from all religions...or, at least, major ones. And there are many Mormons who are pretty oblivious to the outside world and don't associate themselves with many non-mormons. They don't understand "outsiders" and their views, which I believe is a problem. I can see how that would be especially difficult for someone with SA. If you lived near me and were interested in attending the Mormon church, I would gladly accompany you and not treat you like a freak. Unfortunately, it looks like you live in LA.


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## VanDamMan

I've known Mormons. They seemed happy all the time.


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## Tamiele

Greetings

I am new to the board and also an active Mormon. One of the reasons I have come to this board is to attempt to overcome my hangups especially at church. I wasn't raised in the church but I joined 11 years ago. It has been a slow process for me to adapt to the demands of the church. Nearly everything about it pushes me out of my comfort zone. I want to understand why I am so weak and fearful in that environment. I know the gospel is true and doctrine is true and the leadership, etc., is true. Something about not having that familiarity with primary, youth, Relief Society, etc., just makes me want to hide in the corner. With no experience to draw upon, renders me a lump of goo, no backbone or confidence to take on any serious callings. I am so afraid to get up infront of people to give a talk, bear my testimony, etc. I can play the piano a little bit and have been thinking of letting it be known that I can pinch hit once in a while when the other piano players aren't available, but I fret for the entire week before hand. Anyhow, I want to be rid of these fears and hang ups - why I can't just focus on serving regardless if I make a mistake or say the wrong thing - but I want to crawl into a hole and die if I do that. Anyhow, I am grateful for this board and I hope to read through the various threads and start to change this internal belief that continues to cripple me. Thanks for listening.


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## erasercrumbs

Being a nontrinitarian, I've considered Mormonism from time to time, but my faith isn't what it used to be, so I'd make a pretty lousy Mormon (though, honestly, I'd make a pretty lousy anything). Also, doesn't the LDS church frown on caffeine? I've pretty much been running on Mountain Dew fumes since age 12...take that away from me, and I'm pretty sure I'd lock up like the Tin Man. :b


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## stylicho

I wouldn't be too big on these wards. My mother grew up a Mormon if memory serves me correctly. I didn't really have a clue what they do since she's not a practicing Mormon. These wards sound like the mating process is kept a little too close in the gene pool.


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## Zugzug

Ventress said:


> Okay, a "family ward" is a congregation made up of families and people of all ages (like any religious congregation).
> 
> *A "singles ward" is a congregation made up of young single adults between the ages of 18 and 30 only. No families, kids, old people, etc. It's meant to get those singles to pair off and get married, if they so choose...*


Wait wut??? That sounds awesome!


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## Fantas Eyes

I'm the librarian so I'm in the library between classes. This is great because it makes people have to come to me if they want to talk to me; though that only happens when my visiting teachers are asking me when I'm available.


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## erasercrumbs

I don't know if this is the best place to put this, but I'm writing a short story that prominently features an LDS character that enjoys decaffeinated coffee. *Would that be considered acceptable for Mormons*? I couldn't find an authoritative final word online.

If someone wouldn't mind answering that question for me, I'd much appreciate it!


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## Fantas Eyes

^No, Mormons are told not to drink any kind of coffee.


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## erasercrumbs

polkadotlaughter said:


> ^No, Mormons are told not to drink any kind of coffee.


Is there another drink that Mormons might typically drink in the morning? I read that many Mormons used to drink Postum, but they don't make that anymore.

Thanks for taking the time to answer my question, by the way.


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## Fantas Eyes

erasercrumbs said:


> Is there another drink that Mormons might typically drink in the morning? I read that many Mormons used to drink Postum, but they don't make that anymore.
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to answer my question, by the way.


No problem. 

Pretty much anything else. It's just coffee, tea, alcohol and anything with caffeine we avoid. I personally will drink orange juice.

If you have any more questions feel free to PM me.


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## mind_games

*Thread edited.

No debate allowed. This subforum is for support only.




Spirituality
Faith based support. NOT for debate.

This section is intended to be a safe haven for those who need spiritual support, encouragement, inspiration and hope.

The Spirituality section is now open to all to discuss spiritual issues but please remember this is for faith-based support. It is not a place to proselytize or debate your beliefs.

Click to expand...

*


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## bookworm7

*Married Mormon with SA ... It's Still Difficult, But It's Doable*

Hi Everyone. I've been reading through other people's posts about being Mormon and having SA, and it seems like a lot of people are single and that's something that makes having SA more difficult as a Mormon. I 100% agree. I was there for twenty years. I felt bad about myself because the Mormon church teaches about getting married so much. Well, miracle of miracles, I'm married now (to a wonderful guy - not bragging, just explaining - his apparent perfection on the surface actually stresses me out because I feel insecure around him even though he's very loving to me. His mom thinks he's perfect too which doesn't help. Anyway, I've realized he's not perfect lately and come to terms with it - I'm a perfectionist). I thought my feelings of insecurity would go away once I got married (I blamed my lack of having boyfriends/any romantic interests for the way I felt about myself since that was the only plausible explanation at the time). Looking back, I think I was misdiagnosed with other health problems when I in fact have SA. I'm just realizing this recently.

Anyway, when I met/started dating my future husband, my SA went away (or I had it in check) for a while. I was very happy (I still struggled with SA symptoms sometimes - unknowingly - but I was much happier). I'm married now and I just have to let you guys all know - married Mormons don't have it all figured out either. Your SA won't go away just because you get married - but you can actively treat it as a married person. If you start seriously dating someone, be honest about your SA with the person you're dating or thinking of marrying. The more they know about you before marriage, the more they can help you cope with it later (I think that too many Mormons get pressured into marrying young before they're ready. Fight it!) This isn't meant to be a doomsday thing (I know I would have seen it as such five years ago and thought, "Life just gets worse and worse" and it's supposed to be good as a member of the church, I'm supposed to be HAPPY dang it!). Anyway, I'm still trying to do this, but try to get the help you need and don't think getting married will solve your SA. (it just gets added on top of everything else, no matter how great your spouse is, with more problems - learning to compromise and live with someone else, meeting another person's expectations/standards, mother-in-law things, etc.)

Also, I go to church every week but I'm always late even though I have 1:00 church (almost as late as it gets!). I feel self-conscious like everyone is looking at me and thinking what a bad person I am for coming late. In reality, people probably aren't doing that but I think they are. Maybe it's from the "Utah bubble" thing, I don't know. In reality, most people are probably so worried about their own lives that they don't even think twice about me. haha. I guess I flatter myself that everyone's always watching me when most people probably don't even know my name.

Anyway, some things I've found that help me are realizing that no one is perfect (even though some members seem to have it all figured out. No one is perfect. Except Christ). I've also taken people's opinions (even people who I admire and church leaders) as just that, opinions. You don't have to agree with everything everyone says at church to be a good member of the church. I've been trying to agree/follow too many people's advice for a little while and it's driven me nuts. Try not to compare yourself with others - know that you are your own person and have so much individual worth. I've recently found a lot of happiness from things in the church that used to overwhelm me (like social gatherings, giving talks, going to relief society, etc.). Love to you all in your struggle - I hope you can find peace and happiness as well.

Sorry this is long and rambling. I hope it helps. And if it doesn't, it's just an opinion - don't let it overwhelm you (a year ago this would have made me feel awful).


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## Veritastar

I am mormon, nice to meet everyone else.


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## Shaunaquin

I just wanted to share a little with you.

My thing is general anxiety and depression. The thing I would ask is are you getting professional help?

It took me many years to be able to admit that I needed it, but I am so greatful that I did. It is nothing to be ashamed of. If you had cancer or diabetes would you not seek out help from the best doctors.

If you don't already, please realize that what you have is a physical ailement, not a mental one, we are not "crazy."

Your body does not produce the right balance of ceritan chemicals that your brain needs to fire correctly. It is nothing you have done wrong nor can control with just will power. So please, do not beat yourself up because of it.

Seek professional, specialist help. There are many medications out there that can help people like us. It took me 15 years of trying and overcoming feeling self concious about having to get treatment, but I am finally at peace with it.

There have been many "good LDS" memebers who do not understand. I think most of them mean well, even in your case, but they just do not know how to help THE RIGHT way because there so little education out there about how to support poeple like us. You may have to learn yourself and then teach them. That is what I have had to do.

I personally hate the term "mental illness" so I have made up a new name for it that even my counselor likes, what we have is BCD - Brain Chemistry Deficiency. It is just as much of a medical condition as diabetus and other chemical type ailements that people get.

Right now my treatment is working great and I feel better than I have in years. My BCD is in "remission" if I can borrow a term from cancer patients.

That's another problem we have is we do not have a lot of our "own language" and terms like people who are "cancer survivors" or other types of things... like having our "diabetus under control"...

We can say we have our BCD under control, or that it is in remission. We are in treatment etc.

There is still a lot of negative stigma out there about it. It is hard for us to promote change because the sickness is often a great barrier. So we need to do it when we are healthy even though during those times we feel like we "don't need it" at the time.

We just want "normal" lives.... what ever that means.... ;>)

Here are some short PSAs (public service announcemnets) that have really helped me and helped others start to understand...





















Finally, I would encourage you to go to church for Jesus, not the people. The people are not perfect, but the Savior is. Do not deprive yourself of these great blessings because others do not understand.

Most people really are not "judging" us as it sometimes feels. And even if they are... well, that's THEIR problem. Remember Jesus and our Father in Heaven know us! They know our struggles, go for THEM!

Also, a note about meds.... as I have FINALLY learned.... there are meds that help but can also cause difficult side effects.... know that there are also OTHER meds you can be given to couter act the side effects. For example, my meds give me very bad insomnia and restless legs. My doc also gave me a low dose of an anti seiezure med to couter act those side effects and it works great. I still have a little restless legs but it is manageable and sooooooooo worth how good I feel now.

I have been on this treatment for about a year now and feel more "normal" than I ever have in most of my adult life.

Please hang in there. Get the help you deserve and remember, you are loved and you are NOT alone.... there are lots of us out here with you!


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## Shaunaquin

*Let's stick together*

It is difficult to find support for BCD (Brain Chemistry Deficiency) conditions. It is difficult to advocate for ourselves when the very nature of our conditions make it a seemingly impossible mountain to conqure.

I have set up an LDS based site for support and encouragement. I encourage you to visit it and contribute your stories so that others can learn from you and see that you are not alone.

The side is www.LDSBCDSUPPORT.com
There is an email contact on there where you can send your experiences to be posted.

You can post anonymously or just first name only for your pivacy.

As far as having trouble going to church... I use to get horrible anxiety attacks at church all the time... and at the temple too. So I understand.

Just don't beat yourself up about it. I know the Lord doesn't. Just do your best! You are ok just the way you are.

What I would suggest is just take "baby steps." Set small goals and work slowly towards feeling more comfortable about how much you particpate in callings and things.

It's ok if you don't know all the answers if you are a teacher in class. Being a teacher is one of the best ways to learn. So if you are a convert and are worried about not having all the background life members have, it is ok. You will be fine. Just testify about what you know. That is more powerful than tons of "bible knowledge." The Spirit will do the rest. I have seen that happen many times as I have taught and I always learn more than I teach.

As far as being 40 and single, the church does not 'force' you to go to a singles ward. In some areas they do have singles wards and/or activities for older people. But if not, you are always welcome in a family ward.

My advice, don't compare yourself to other members, only compare yourself to yourself. Are you progressing forward? If so, then you are ok. Take it at your own pace. Read your scriptures, pray often, work on your relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus. That is what is most important.

Go to chruch to take the sacrement and go for Heavenly Father and Jesus, not the people. People are not perfect but I believe most mean well.

Don't be afraid to share what you are going through to trusted friends. The true friends will understand better than you think!

Don't give up! You can do it!


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## straightarrows

I started to read/watc videos on yuotube about Mormons nearly 2 months ago,,,,, just for fun!! I"m not in a good mood to read the Book of Mormon right now

BTW,their temples r just!!!:clap still, it's strange that even a lot of Mormons can't go insdie those temples!!:um:um



















woundering if they r good and friendly people or just $%^%$^^% two-faced like *Mitt Romney*‏??


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## Cletis

kiirby said:


> Surely mormons wouldn't be able to use computers? Or am I getting my sects mixed up?


On the contrary. Mormons are very BIG users of computers. The Church uses them extensively and many members do their geneology, etc. on them. Utah has one of the highest internet subscription rates in the USA.

Mormon life is centered around family and your ward so it can be rough for those of us with SA issues and being single with no family. But I don't feel The Lord will reject anyone because they're alone or shy.

By the way, I was born and raised a Mormon but I am inactive now.


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