# Psychiatric Units



## amujahad1 (Feb 4, 2010)

My most recent attempt to end my life was a serious one. I spent 16 days in Trauma ICU. After I was discharged from the ICU, I was moved directly to a Med-Psych bed. For once in my life, I actually had peace. The lights were dim, it was quiet, and there were no "outsiders" around to judge me or make snide remarks about me. I was never restrained, and I voluntarily began to take meds (from what I understand, voluntary medication is rather rare). I actually felt bad for trying to end my life. I stayed on the unit for a little over a week until I was uprooted and repatriated back into the real world. 

Now, I am doing just as bad as I was before I pulled the trigger. I am off my meds and have totally ignored my treatment plan (appointments, strategies, etc.) for over a month now. I really want to get better, but it is so hard with everyone insulting me all the time. I feel like I don't deserve to feel good. I feel evil.

Anyone else have this experience?


----------



## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

No, I hated the weeks I spent as an inpatient in a psych ward. I felt like a six year old and the doctors were on serious power trips. I feigned the behaviour they wanted to see, got out, and vowed that my next attempt would be successful.


----------



## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

i feel like once people are discharged, they can sometimes just go back to similar conditions as before if they still don't have adequate treatment and it isn't ensured that they are safe or 'better'. 
my hospital stays varied... i was treated decently, the nurses and social workers were nice, had a couple bad things happen. overall it was tolerable and i got used to it. i still feel like they enforce negative coping habits and don't help guide me in learning to live with and deal with the problems long-term (methods that don't include just using drugs to cope, but considering their usual actions whenever i encountered a problem, it's not a surprise that it's the only method they teach). i found the doctor's frustrating to deal with because they didn't bother to listen to what i felt were the biggest issues and instead would decide that one thing was the subconscious cause of all my problems, on top of the carelessness with meds. like bezoomny mentioned, i get sick of having to 'protest' so often and would just give up with trying to tell them otherwise (if i was too assertive with it they'd probably assume i was manic and would want to observe me for longer).


amujahad1 - how are people insulting you? if you are referring to the people you see for treatment, perhaps it could be good to ask for a referral or second opinion from someone else.
do you think you can still continue with the appointments and attempting the strategies, even if you don't feel you deserve to feel good? if you say you really do want to get better, do you think it would make things worse or be too much to handle to still attempt to continue with the treatment plan?

good luck with everything


----------



## zookeeper (Jun 3, 2009)

Psych ward was one of the worst experiences of my life. I don't care how many lies I have to tell I'm never, ever going back to one unless the police drag me there.

However, it sounds like your experience was much different than mine. I certainly wouldn't describe most of them as peaceful, but I'm glad you were able to get some quiet time there.

But NTF is right, hospitals aren't really a place to get better. They're only purpose should be to get a person through a crisis. The real changes happen on the outside.


----------



## Inside (Jan 31, 2010)

amujahad1 said:


> My most recent attempt to end my life was a serious one. I spent 16 days in Trauma ICU. After I was discharged from the ICU, I was moved directly to a Med-Psych bed. For once in my life, I actually had peace. The lights were dim, it was quiet, and there were no "outsiders" around to judge me or make snide remarks about me. I was never restrained, and I voluntarily began to take meds (from what I understand, voluntary medication is rather rare). I actually felt bad for trying to end my life. I stayed on the unit for a little over a week until I was uprooted and repatriated back into the real world.
> 
> Now, I am doing just as bad as I was before I pulled the trigger. I am off my meds and have totally ignored my treatment plan (appointments, strategies, etc.) for over a month now. I really want to get better, but it is so hard with everyone insulting me all the time. I feel like I don't deserve to feel good. I feel evil.
> 
> Anyone else have this experience?


After that, you were only in for a week? Are you in the US? I'm not sure about other countries but the right doc... geesh so many things sound off here it isn't even funny. Number 1 question is why are you not taking any of the medication? Was it a shift in thought or perspective? Second question is why haven't you called someone and said look, I was happy for a week, something needs to change? Next one is, you know now that the action you took wasn't the right one and that something somewhere even if its dim lights in a controlled and safe setting will bring you peace... you have got to get an appt or a call or the medicine or something, what happened between then and now that everything circled right back around to the way it was before you pulled that trigger?! Hopefully you know that the way you feel now is the black fog talking and feeling for you, it isn't the way you have to live. This can be treated and you can feel better, safe and calm...
Lemme know,
Inside.


----------



## amujahad1 (Feb 4, 2010)

nothing to fear said:


> amujahad1 - how are people insulting you?


I have a condition that causes severe and uncontrollable body odor. I bathe three times per day, yet people treat me like I have no hygiene habits.

Having a disorder like this really shows you people's true colors (that is, what is underneath the facade). It shows you how much people suck.


----------



## amujahad1 (Feb 4, 2010)

zookeeper said:


> Psych ward was one of the worst experiences of my life. I don't care how many lies I have to tell I'm never, ever going back to one unless the police drag me there.
> 
> However, it sounds like your experience was much different than mine. I certainly wouldn't describe most of them as peaceful, but I'm glad you were able to get some quiet time there.
> 
> But NTF is right, hospitals aren't really a place to get better. They're only purpose should be to get a person through a crisis. The real changes happen on the outside.


I was on a Medical Psych Unit that was more like a normal hospital room than a psychiatric hospital room. I had a television (although I kept it off all the time), a window, and an electronic bed. I was taken to a huge hospital, so I think they had both types of psych units. I just got lucky, I guess.


----------



## LooknUpnCali (Jan 18, 2010)

WoW I never knew those existed. Medical Psych Unit. Private rooms. yeah here where I live my experience with psych hospitals. Nah!! get stable and get the heck out of there. Well with this hospital ive been to. Quality of Care for this hospital went from 9 to 1. Definitely a psych hospital is only for short-term. However everytime I thought it was short was too long 2 weeks. ER are not for those with psychiatric illnesses or suicide attempts, DRs there deal with the physical side of things. All they do is treat u medically, make sure ur stable, and wait for the social worker to find a bed to place u. Im saying that within my city, but u dont want to come to my area. Lots of lawsuits n deaths due to improper care n procedures of dealing with a person with a psychiatric illness. So Id keep lookin n searching for someone who deals with what ur going thru. Internet is really good.


----------



## sherbert (Jun 24, 2005)

*Yes I can relate*

First, I am really sorry to hear you are suffering such a great deal. Losing ones sanity, being almost crushed by the weight of an illness, it is truly terrible.

I never was suicidal to (your) degree, but it came across my mind very often. I would describe my visit to the Psych-ward in a similar way. At the time that I decided to voluntarily admit myself, I had just recently dropped out of school and I was entertaining thoughts of suicide more seriously than ever. The visit wasn't a resort, there were many detractors like lousy food and being woken up at weird intervals to have blood-drawn. However, it was nice to be able to just vegetate and not feel the crushing burden of trying to cope with everyday life. No worries about shelter, food, work. school etc. Nearly as important, there wasn't such an intense guilt about having a mental illness.

I actually really liked my Dr. He saw that, for the most part, I liked it there almost TOO much. He said something along the lines of, "you are enjoying being lazy... you can't stay here for too long. You need to live your life." This in a rather thick Indian accent.

I won't lecture you on what you can do with you situation. I will say, however, that there is hope. It is possible to get better, but you have to fight with every ounce of your being!


----------



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

I was hospitialized back in 06 for a depression and anxiety. Ive never had such a wonderful break from the daily routine.


----------



## estelle85 (Jan 22, 2008)

I was hospitalized at a psychiatric unit just a few days ago.....it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be...but i'd never wanna go back..
I mean for one thing..I could never get used to the security guards that would check in on me day and night every 15/30 minutes...that would drive me INSANE..but asides from that the nurses and doctors were really nice and helpful. Oh, and I was in there for anxiety/depression and suicidal thoughts..-_-; how nice.


----------



## itisallreal (Apr 29, 2012)

it is funny because you never know exactly what they are using these wards for they say it is to protect you from harm and others but you have to remember the people who run these places can sometimes play favourites or even instigate all manner of craziness your first experience should be your last of the wards but if it is not be careful of conspiracy and take what some of what you may hear seriously...like for instance if you have children some of the people on the ward have issues with children and you hear a child may be in danger dont dismiss...and dont trust anyone??? it is not a game


----------



## itisallreal (Apr 29, 2012)

*I hate this place??? where are all the sane people... 'any day now' i watched a short film about mental health 'any day now' always expectant although is it for the wrong reasons??? and it doesnt have to be for bad vs good or good vs bad it is possible that in one day you can go from extreme to extreme...i wanted to know where my kid was where have they taken him who is he with whats going on and is the kid aware of the problem??? can i be sure i even know there is a good chance i act worse the a kid...remember this can only be achieved by a certain amount of pressure and intimidation as well as other resources that as yet are known to what they call 'professionals' do you get people you dont know talking to you strangers ringing your phone saying i just want to hear your voice??? beware of nothing and doing nothing it could be or mean something... 'as i write this i am aware that in my reality i am alone although their are people here!!!*


----------



## itisallreal (Apr 29, 2012)

*beware when they tell you to stop taking your pills they have found out and spread around all they wanted to know and people to know!!! is it just anybody or a select group i have no idea but you have your freedom they just may have wanted something to do with their days they could laugh about and guess what you wouldnt kill them quick so they picked you (the loudspeaker said 'couldnt'*


----------

