# I messaged a girl ona dating site



## chickenfett (Jun 2, 2011)

I worked up the courage to message a girl (honestly, much better looking than I'll ever be) on a dating site! Oh...I also made an account. She hasn't responded yet (and probably won't) but I don't care. I asked out a girl!


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## Furio (Jul 5, 2013)

Cool man, I know what its like to fight the strong urge of just not doing it. (Texting /message a girl)


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## Ventura (May 5, 2009)

Cool  Don't get discouraged if the first PM doesn't work, try to message at least one person each week until you get a reply !


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

Nice. Yeah don't feel down if she ignores you, it's pretty common. I just recently sent one out after not sending one for like 3-4 months and got ignored haha. Oh well. GL to you.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

I remember it took me 5 minutes to message a girl. that's great dude. 

although now it only gets more difficult... haha


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## chickenfett (Jun 2, 2011)

Thanks everybody! I'm pretty sure she's not going to message me back at all (I'm positive I'm not near the only one who messaged her). If she does, great! But, most likely, she won't. I'm just proud of myself for doing this after all of the negative dating experiences I've had in the past.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

I message over 10 girls before and none replied back.


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## BakedBanana (Jun 26, 2012)

Awesome! It takes me about 5-10mins to write just a simple sentence to a girl on dating sites haha. I've recently just updated my dating profiles on various sites but not much has happened. From my experience Younger girls (18-20) seem to be incredibly shallow.


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## marsupial (Jul 10, 2013)

lol


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## asphodel (Apr 30, 2013)

Good start. Message more.


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## cottontree (Jul 12, 2013)

hey chickenfett, I'll tell you my experience with online dating:
Its a big confidence killer.

It took me months to have the courage to sign up for an online dating site (okcupid), and then I finally did it and messaged a girl. The first girl I messaged deleted her profile 2 days later.
Then I messaged a couple other girls and either would get no replies, or the convo would die out after 2 messages.
For me originally I was very picky and it would take hours finding girls I was interested in, only for the message I send them to usually be ignored.

It turns out that an above-average looking girl on okcupid gets hundreds of messages a week from guys (i'm not exaggerating this number). So they basically just pick the hottest guy with the most interesting messages to respond to.

About a year later, I finally managed to go on a date with a girl from okc. And she was 30+lbs fatter in person than in her pictures, and also much uglier.
Also recently I got the phone number of this other girl from okc, and the same thing happened (turns out she's fat, but in her okc pictures she used camera angles to make herself look thin and attractive).

I'm tall, fit, and attractive myself. I get looks from girls when I actually go out in public (which isn't much because of my SA and no friends).
I'm sure if I got rid of my SA and could approach random girls, I would have way more success than okcupid or other dating sites.


Anyways, try it out. But don't feel bad if the girls don't msg you back, its common.
Also message lots of girls for more of a chance that one of them responds; and keep your messages fun and witty/flirty.
Also try to escalate the conversation into getting their number after 3~4 messages of talking to them (unless you're chatting with them in real-time, then have a normal conversation for an hour or something; and if it goes well, say something like "hey i got to go, can i get your number so we can continue this convo by txt later")
Remember they lose interest quick, and have their own social lives and tons of guys approaching/messaging them.
If you don't get their number after 4+ messages, they will probably lose interest and stop responding.

As a side note:
For any girls on this forum, I would recommend online dating sites like okcupid. It sucks for guys, but its great for girls. You'll get a ton of messages from random guys, and can choose who you want to respond to.

I think some girls just get accounts as a confidence booster. They can just get a bunch of messages and not respond to any.


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## GrowingOut (Jul 14, 2013)

Just so you guys know. Online dating does work but you have to make a ton of contact. Women get tons of emails and they have to filter thru a lot of stuff. Plus real life stuff happens like they become inactive or maybe they are currently seeing someone but still online searching for his activity etc.

So if they dont respond dont let it affect you.


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## Lincolnradiocat (Dec 10, 2005)

cottontree said:


> hey chickenfett, I'll tell you my experience with online dating:
> Its a big confidence killer.
> 
> It took me months to have the courage to sign up for an online dating site (okcupid), and then I finally did it and messaged a girl. The first girl I messaged deleted her profile 2 days later.
> ...


I was on POF for a while and may go back at some point. I have a free match.com profile and have been pondering paying for it.

I connected with two women on there. One had six kids, that was too many for me! The other I liked a lot and she had a two year old. I think where I went wrong with the second is I didn't go for the number fast enough. We exchanged several messages and I was going to ask after the next return message...but I never got one! Then I said F this and I deleted my account.

I can relate spending hours wading through profiles to find one I liked... and then spend a lot of time composing a message that would stand out, just to get nothing back.

My plea to women on those websites who complain about short messages is this: Don't discount someone just because they said a variation of "hey" in the first message. It takes a lot of time and effort to come up with unique messages that you are not guaranteed will be returned anyway.


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