# Why does everybody claim to have been bullied ?



## Veryweirdguy (Sep 4, 2012)

It seems that everybody says that school was horrible.

But I don't understand: I was badly bullied, I witnessed some bullying and, for example, in a middle school of 400 students, only 20 of them were really picked on/outcasts.

I think that a lot of people don't know what bullying is (=is an act of repeated aggressive behavior in order to intentionally hurt a weaker person, physically or mentally), too many people say they have been ostracized. To my mind, only five percent of pupils get bullied.

I mean, I know that bullying exists because I was severely bullied but saying that everyone has been bullied is bull****!

If a friend says, one time, you're ugly, that's not bullying.

But if you are a loner, have not many friends and that almost everybody is against you, calling you names and beat you everyday, THAT'S BULLYING!
And generally, there are only 10/20 kids like that in each school!

Children that committed suicide because of teasing weren't just called ugly by one person one day, it's was everyday and by everyone!

I think that people are just oversensitive.

There is "bullying" and real bullying (like in Carrie of Stephen King). I mean, in primary school, I was involved in some fights and some people hated me but it wasn't bullying.

What do you think? (and excuse me for my english, I'm a foreigner).


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

You're absolutely right. It's widely misinterpreted by the masses. Unfortunately, so is a thousand other words. 

People criticize but this isn't bullying.
People tease but this isn't bullying.
People make fun but this isn't necessarily bullying. 
People insult but this isn't necessarily bullying. 

You put it perfectly. Some people feel as if being the center of any negative attention is the equivalent of being bullied. Like you stated, it's sometimes a matter of being too sensitive or viewing the situation in an extremely negative light.

P.s. your english was fine


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

Who is "everyone?"

A lot of people who post on SAS have been bullied, and there's much more cultural awareness of it than there used to be, but most people that I have encountered have not claimed to have been bullied.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Not everyone thinks the same way you do. So what if we get offended if one person insults us? Words hurt. Period. Doesn't matter if it's coming from one person or more than one.


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## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

I wouldn't be surprised if most people got picked on some, because middle school kids are awful. I don't know of anyone at all who was that badly harassed every single day. The people I knew who were most ostracized were mean to others themselves.


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

Well bullying is one of the causes of SA so it's only natural that more people with SA say they've been bullied.


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

I've had the exact same thought - But believe me,you'll win no popularity points here by saying it.


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## moya (Feb 16, 2012)

I agree, but 5% of all students is still a lot of people, especially when you consider the huge age bracket at this site (mostly 15 - 35). So that's a lot of classes, from all over the world. So dunno, I'm not gonna agree or disagree, but it's probable that a lot of people here were bullied.


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## DubnRun (Oct 29, 2011)

I was that loner being targeted and laughed on by the whole class. Bullying still boils my piss all these years later


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## moya (Feb 16, 2012)

I wasn't bullied btw. But I was deff the black sheep at times. Though there were also times where I was friends with a lot of people and quite well liked.



Paloma M said:


> Not everyone thinks the same way you do. So what if we get offended if one person insults us? Words hurt. Period. Doesn't matter if it's coming from one person or more than one.


Naw, bult being insulted sometimes or being bullied are different things and I think the OP doesn't like the term being overused cuz it may make light of his experiences.


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## Veryweirdguy (Sep 4, 2012)

I wans't speaking about people with S.A (because obviously, I know that bullying is a cause of S.A) but in general.


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

Rare is the child that doesn't get called a name here or there or get left out from time to time or perhaps laughed at. To equate that with specifically targeted bullying is at best naive and at worst belittling the misery of those that were truly bullied.


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## InimitableJeeves (Aug 27, 2012)

Maybe there are just a lot of bullies.

Bullying can range from moderate to severe, that doesn't mean it's not bullying.


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## ApathyDivine (Feb 28, 2012)

I wasn't bullied. But I'm sure that people talked about me behind my back


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## GaaraAgain (Oct 10, 2011)

Who's "everybody"?


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

I think someone knows deep down whether they have been bullied. Yes, some people are ignorant as h*** and think that being insulted a few times ( whilst doing the same to others) counts as bullying. Bullying is where one person is targeted and defenseless so to speak. 

ie

a fight

a) one person is ganged up on and beaten up

b) one person attacks another person and they both fight each other.

both are assault, but only a) is bullying. if b) did not defend himself and the other person kept hitting him this would also be bullying. 

Bullying is where someone humiliates a person and strips them of their self esteem. 

I think OP is talking about the type of ignorant people who are like 'i was bullied at high school, I got over it, no big deal. Type thing.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

Well,people react differently.Some are more sensitive,insecure and so on than others are so teasing and so on can be damaging for people too.

But I wouldn't call it bullying.Kids can be so mean so everyone will probably have experienced something at some point.

I think it's so ****ing annoying when celebrities claim to have been bullied,but then they just got over it and make it to be some HUGE thing to get sympathy.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

* Why does everybody claim to have been bullied ?*

Because people have a tendency to want to blame someone else for the things that have gone wrong in their life.


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## pantazi (Sep 3, 2012)

I too read what caused people issues and feel jeez that is nothing compared to my life.

However you say people say they were bullied when they weren't, then make a big deal about your bullying.

It's not a competition.


And yes some people are obviously more sensetive than others but isn't that why they are here?


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## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

Veryweirdguy said:


> too many people say they have been ostracized. To my mind, only five percent of pupils get bullied.


Ostracism may involve bullying but it may not. Sometimes people try to convey their dislike / disdain by passively shunning someone. It's still very damaging, and it's very common.



Veryweirdguy said:


> But if you are a loner, have not many friends and that almost everybody is against you, calling you names and beat you everyday, THAT'S BULLYING!
> And generally, there are only 10/20 kids like that in each school!


This is an extreme example. It can be more subtle, especially if it doesn't involve physical violence.


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## Raphael200 (Aug 18, 2012)

I wasn't bullied i was just left out.


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## Strwbrry (Jun 28, 2012)

Yes, you're quite right. But as all things in life, feeling hurt or being bullied can vary depending on the sensitivity of characters. Words hurt, some brush it off more easily, others carry the scars for a lifetime.
I understand what you're saying though, seeing people complaining about seemingly minor things (like being called a *****) and calling that bullying can be bitter.


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

This thread makes no sense.

Why do you think you are able to tell who has been bullied and who hasn't? Unless you were there to witness first-hand you are unable to judge something as subjective as bullying. It doesn't make your history any less important. And there are degrees.

Personally, for me, it was very bad and very life changing. Same as a lot of other people.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Sounds like it's all about semantics to you. Many people here have been bullied (picked on, made fun of, whatever). It's a prime contributor to SA. And some are more sensitive to this mistreatment than others.


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## elvin jones (Dec 12, 2011)

Paloma M said:


> Not everyone thinks the same way you do. So what if we get offended if one person insults us? Words hurt. Period. Doesn't matter if it's coming from one person or more than one.


According to the thread starter, unless you got bathed in pig's blood you are being overly sensitive.

What's up with all these new members making highly opinionated threads that will surely piss off 90% of the community lately.


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## Veryweirdguy (Sep 4, 2012)

UP!


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## Wurli (Sep 15, 2012)

I think your definition of bullying is a bit restrictive. In my opinion, bullying needs to be interpreted with a much broader definition. It doesn't necessarily need to be restricted to students in school and certain behaviors. At its roots, I think bullying comes down to the negative physical and psychological effects that one's actions can have on another. Take myself as an example, I was never bullied in school per se, in fact if anything I was the one more capable of doing the bullying. However, my brother and even my parents severely abused me emotionally, making me into the person that I am today. I would consider it a form of bullying.


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## Kakumbus (Mar 27, 2012)

My favorite is cyber bullying, such a joke.


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## KawaiiHime (Oct 10, 2013)

because they really have been bullied. no matter if there is one bully or ten bullies, whether is calling names, insulting, rude comments, hitting, on the internet or in live, IT IS STILL bullying. so the bullies need to beat the living **** (or spill pig's blood as in carrie) out of someone for that to be counted as bullying?

the easiest thing is to call bullying victims too sensitive. i've been bullied for more than four years and it still hurts when i remember. it scarred me for life. during these times, i felt like i wasn't a human. go to my profile and read about me and then tell me if that's in your opinion a real bullying. 

i mean, kids are cruel and they do tease other students, but in the second when the person they are teasing feels insulted by their teasing or jokes and tells them to stop, but they don't, it turns into a bullying. 

and if your friend calls you ugly, you should ask yourself what kind of a friend he truly is. i think you haven't been so badly bullied to know what kind of damage it can leave on a victim.


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## shelbster18 (Oct 8, 2011)

Don't know how you would know that. Anyone who says they've been bullied has more than likely been bullied. :| It's how it affects that person that matters. Whether it's to a small degree or a high degree of bullying, it's bullying. I was picked on in 2nd and 3rd grade by a guy and was told that it was because he liked me. Well, honestly...he scared me to death and I always interpreted it that he was literally out to get me. It changed my life and I think that's how I got SA. But there could also be a number of other reasons to why I have this disorder. He would cuss at me and call me names. He even kicked me once I think and put crayons down my pants. No one that likes a girl would kick her I don't think. That literally is bullying. And he gets away with it. It's pathetic. Just because someone rarely got bullied doesn't mean they don't have it bad. The whole point is how they interpret that. This guy looked mean in the face, too. He just had this evil face. Don't know how to explain it. The sad thing is that I had a lunch box that my parents got me for Christmas one year and he ruined my lunch box. I was attached to that lunch box and felt bad for it when it got kicked by him. I felt like it had emotions. I felt bad for my parents because they got me it as a gift.  

I think I had it pretty bad, though with the bullying in elementary school. Everyone took that guy's side and laughed at me, too. My so called "friends" wouldn't do anything about it. I even cried in front of the whole class one day and my teacher told me to go to a table in the back while she was doing story time with the other students. They still made fun of me for crying. My teacher said that she would keep him from being in my classes with me in 3rd grade. Guess what? He ended up being in my classes again. It was a nightmare for me every ****ing day. I was seriously scared of this guy. It wasn't like it was just like, "Oh my gosh. He embarrassed me by calling me a name. That was awkward." I was literally like, "I have a fear of this guy." It was hell just going to school every single day to face him. By the time I got to fourth grade and found out he wasn't in any of my classes anymore, it took a huge burden off of my chest. I felt saved. I still got picked on by guys in fourth grade but it was just making fun of me for stupid stuff and I didn't care. Fourth grade was my favorite school year I ever had. Probably the only actual school year I liked besides 5th grade and preschool-1st grade. No one seems to understand that this guy scared me. What a big example of how ignorant and ****ty the world around us is. I mean, how can a teacher lie to me telling me she won't let him be in anymore of my classes and he just so happens to be with me in my classes again the next year? What a shame. My parents tried to do something about it but I don't think they cared just like everyone else.


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## tieffers (Jan 26, 2013)

Paloma M said:


> Not everyone thinks the same way you do. So what if we get offended if one person insults us? Words hurt. Period. Doesn't matter if it's coming from one person or more than one.


OP isn't excusing any kind of aggressive behavior. Of course the words hurt, whether it's a single incident or multiple, but repeated offenses begin to sink in as truth and severely cripple a person's self-esteem.

A person who's been called a name once or twice isn't really a victim of bullying, in my opinion. That doesn't make it right. But it does trivialize the seriousness of it to people who are actually really bullied.


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## ChangeInProgress (Apr 23, 2012)

Bullying is subjective. And you come here throwing in opinions as facts and stats that you pulled outta your *** like you've conducted a study or something. Does little to prove any point you tried to make.


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## lunarc (Feb 25, 2014)

I'm sorry you were bullied but that is no reason for you to trivialize other peoples experiences. You do not know how it affected them or what they have been through.


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