# Lol is it okay to be a sensitive guy to an extent?



## Quanny94 (Oct 31, 2016)

Lol I was talking to this girl at work for some time now and out of no were she hit me with your a sensitive kind of guy. The thing is before that i tryed to act like some tough guy lol but i guess i wasn't doing it right. Not only that but she then followed it up by hesitating t first and finally saying your a nice guy. I heard guys aren't suppose to be sensitive though and its not like i act girly and what not... at least i hope not. Its funny because my sensitivity is showing now i guess:grin2:


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## doe deer (Oct 9, 2016)

it's totally ok. worry not.


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## Whatev (Feb 6, 2012)

Let it out, have a good cry. 

....

.......

...........

Ok, thats enough.


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## Aribeth (Jan 14, 2012)

No.


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## funnynihilist (Jul 29, 2014)

It's not sensitivity that makes a guy unappealing to a woman it's a guy who plays the same tune over and over again.
Sensitive guys tend to do this.
Girls get bored very easy in relationships.
Add to that that many are swimming in a sea of penile options.
Burn that into your brain and it will save you a lot of grief.


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## Heartbreaker (Sep 2, 2013)

If you're dating an insecure and very emotional girl, then it's probably alright, but that'll be the least of your worries in that case. Otherwise, confidence is what turns girls on. Doesn't matter if you're sensitive as long as you are confident, but usually those two don't go together. 

You gotta have a thick skin. You don't want to be a jerk either. You can be nice and confident. Just don't be TOO nice. Not many girls appreciate that unfortunately because most will perceive you as an "approval seeking loser" even if you are being genuine, which is kinda rare in a person these days if you ask me. 

So for example, be confident, but not arrogant. Kind but not a doormat. Humble but not shy, and so on. It's up to you to strike the balance. Funnynihilist is right. Girls get bored quickly, and the sooner you accept that the sooner you will save yourself a lot of grief.


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## noydb (Jun 29, 2016)

Lol idk
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chefdave (Dec 16, 2013)

Aribeth said:


> No.


Hahaha. Aribeth is the best poster ever.


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## littleghost (Oct 29, 2016)

I think it's good to be a sensitive guy. I can't stand the macho jerks, especially when it's false bravado. Being a nice guy is a good thing too.


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## Moxi (Nov 24, 2015)

Sensitive but confident guys are well-liked. Sensitive, insecure guys who latch onto you and make themselves a doormat in the pursuit of being liked are the repellent. But some people have very "old-fashioned" views on gender roles and stereotypes.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Yes.


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## rmt3 (Apr 11, 2016)

Not if you're trying to get laid


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Red October (Aug 1, 2016)

sensitive in the sense of being aware of others feelings, identifying and understanding others, sure.

crying when you see a sunset... maybe not so much


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## In The Shade (Jun 26, 2016)

The majority of people on this forum will say its okay but really in the real world its not.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

no


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

I am not normal, so I don't know how much my opinion counts.

That said, I like people who actually care about others. If you cannot function, due to sensitivity, that creates a whole other ball of wax.

Sensitive, all by itself, is not bad and it is even desirable.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

Aribeth said:


> No.


lol you are either a great actor or a crazy crazy girl.


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## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

sarafinanickelbocker said:


> That said, I like people who actually care about others. If you cannot function, due to sensitivity, that creates a whole other ball of wax.
> 
> Sensitive, all by itself, is not bad and it is even desirable.


^I agree with this completely.


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Some(or a lot) of people say that it can be a turn off to some girls. Im a very sensitive person and im not going to conform to someone else's opinion. If they want some macho arrogant tough guy then they can go look elsewhere, im not going to completely change my personality to suit someone else's desires


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## Svarog11 (Jul 15, 2016)

Yes if you're posting on an anonymous mental health forum, no if you're in the outside world, and **** no if you're trying to impress a girl because that is most probably a deal breaker


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## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

Although I have learned from the previous responses I must be A.) lying, B.) a fable, and/or C.) just an "insecure, emotional girl," I actually prefer men who are sensitive--at least in the sense that he is able to empathize, conceptualize and process his own emotions, and feels free to express himself. Self-reflexivity is important to me. Hyper-sensitivity (taking everything personally, reading too much into small gestures, a tendency to default to extremes in response to negative stimuli, etc.), of course, however, is unappealing in literally anyone. 


So, yes. It's okay. Ignore the Negative Nathaniels and do you, Boo Boo.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Sensitive how? People pour a lot of ingredients into that conceptual pot.

When you say 'sensitive', some people think 'emotionally weak'. Other people think 'highly attuned to the thoughts and feelings of others, with a strong sense of compassion'. They're completely different things. Don't commit an error of homonymy. You can't pick up a fork in the road and use it to eat your dinner.

When women say they like sensitive men, they generally mean the latter. When they say they don't, they generally mean the former. But then some guy comes along, hears that some women like men who are 'highly attuned to the thoughts and feelings of others, with a strong sense of compassion' and he acts emotionally weak and then is disgruntled when women don't find it attractive. He calls those women liars, says they like one thing but really want another, and takes the red pill. When the truth is, those women said one thing, and the man heard another.

Empathy and compassion are almost universally desirable; weakness is almost universally undesirable. Don't try to pass the one off as the other and you should be fine.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

I only like sensitive men. I have zero emotional attraction to men who aren't in tune with their own and others' emotions, and who aren't able to articulate those emotions. Real men cry. Being able to show a little bit of vulnerability is a sign of a strong sense of self, not the opposite. Not at all interested in people who go through life superficially, pretending that nothing touches them.

You can't have an intimate relationship with someone who doesn't open up to you. If someone is too stoic, you don't know who they really are, you don't get close to them, and you can't love them.


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

Meh....it obviously depends on the context, the situation, the relationship, and ultimately what you mean by "sesitive". Your girlfriend, wife, significant other is not, not, NOT your therapist. I don't know why some guys cannot seem to get that through their heads. There is a huge difference between being open and honest and expressing yourself in an intimate relationship, and being codependent. And in leaning on someone, depending on someone to be the only adult in the relationship. That will never work. In any relationship.

I think a lot of it can be open to interpretation of course. It depends on her. You might think you're being nothing but open and honest with your feelings with one woman, and that might go over just fine, it might actually add a lot of depth to the relationship, it might make you closer to each other (as it should). But you might act the same exact way with another woman and you might come across as needy and weak and clingy. No one wants to be a parent in an adult relationship. It requires two adults lol. You obviously have to be able to take care of yourself, and that includes taking care of your own emotional needs much of the time. It doesn't mean she / he can't be there for you on an emotional level, of course not....otherwise there's no relationship at all. But I think you have to be a grown man and take care of yourself and not depend on her to make you emotionally healthy. There can be a fine line there. Some guys don't see that line at all. This isn't directed at you personally OP, but is just some advice I'm throwing out there....fwiw....she doesn't want to be your therapist. She doesn't want to be your mommy.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Ai said:


> Although I have learned from the previous responses I must be A.) lying, B.) a fable, and/or C.) just an "insecure, emotional girl," I actually prefer men who are sensitive--at least in the sense that he is able to empathize, conceptualize and process his own emotions, and feels free to express himself. Self-reflexivity is important to me. Hyper-sensitivity (taking everything personally, reading too much into small gestures, a tendency to default to extremes in response to negative stimuli, etc.), of course, however, is unappealing in literally anyone.





truant said:


> When you say 'sensitive', some people think 'emotionally weak'. Other people think 'highly attuned to the thoughts and feelings of others, with a strong sense of compassion'. They're completely different things. Don't commit an error of homonymy. You can't pick up a fork in the road and use it to eat your dinner.
> 
> When women say they like sensitive men, they generally mean the latter. When they say they don't, they generally mean the former. But then some guy comes along, hears that some women like men who are 'highly attuned to the thoughts and feelings of others, with a strong sense of compassion' and he acts emotionally weak and then is disgruntled when women don't find it attractive. He calls those women liars, says they like one thing but really want another, and takes the red pill. When the truth is, those women said one thing, and the man heard another.
> 
> *Empathy and compassion are almost universally desirable; weakness is almost universally undesirable. Don't try to pass the one off as the other and you should be fine.*


:ditto :ditto :ditto I wish more people would learn this difference. Mistaking the two is on the same level as thinking "confidence" = "being an a-hole." (They're not the same.)

Though hey, I'm one of those women whom even desperate guys don't want (i. e., "an anomaly"), so my :ditto won't count, I guess.


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## Moxi (Nov 24, 2015)

AllTheSame said:


> Meh....it obviously depends on the context, the situation, the relationship, and ultimately what you mean by "sesitive". Your girlfriend, wife, significant other is not, not, NOT your therapist. I don't know why some guys cannot seem to get that through their heads. There is a huge difference between being open and honest and expressing yourself in an intimate relationship, and being codependent. And in leaning on someone, depending on someone to be the only adult in the relationship. That will never work. In any relationship.
> 
> I think a lot of it can be open to interpretation of course. It depends on her. You might think you're being nothing but open and honest with your feelings with one woman, and that might go over just fine, it might actually add a lot of depth to the relationship, it might make you closer to each other (as it should). But you might act the same exact way with another woman and you might come across as needy and weak and clingy. No one wants to be a parent in an adult relationship. It requires two adults lol. You obviously have to be able to take care of yourself, and that includes taking care of your own emotional needs much of the time. It doesn't mean she / he can't be there for you on an emotional level, of course not....otherwise there's no relationship at all. But I think you have to be a grown man and take care of yourself and not depend on her to make you emotionally healthy. There can be a fine line there. Some guys don't see that line at all. This isn't directed at you personally OP, but is just some advice I'm throwing out there....fwiw....she doesn't want to be your therapist. She doesn't want to be your mommy.


Thanks.

I love that the guy I'm with is sensitive. If he'd blown up my phone at 2am trying to get my attention after knowing me for a week, we'd have had a problem.

Whatever guys need to tell themselves, though. If a woman hates you for being sensitive, then you get to feel like a noble martyr instead of worrying about your self-esteem or people skills maybe being a problem.


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## In The Shade (Jun 26, 2016)

No matter what people say in this thread, out in the real world nobody likes sensitive men, it is only here where people would agree that it is okay to be male and sensitive because people here are sensitive.

In the real world men have to hide their emotions and come accross as strong because if you don't people will tear you apart if you are a man who acts like a giant *****, crying, whining etc, no room for that in this world.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

In The Shade said:


> No matter what people say in this thread, out in the real world nobody likes sensitive men, it is only here where people would agree that it is okay to be male and sensitive because people here are sensitive.
> 
> In the real world men have to hide their emotions and come accross as strong because if you don't people will tear you apart if you are a man who acts like a giant *****, crying, whining etc, no room for that in this world.


Being sensitive and being a ***** are completely different though.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

Ai said:


> Although I have learned from the previous responses I must be A.) lying, B.) a fable, and/or C.) just an "insecure, emotional girl," I actually prefer men who are sensitive--at least in the sense that he is able to empathize, conceptualize and process his own emotions, and feels free to express himself. Self-reflexivity is important to me. Hyper-sensitivity (taking everything personally, reading too much into small gestures, a tendency to default to extremes in response to negative stimuli, etc.), of course, however, is unappealing in literally anyone.
> 
> So, yes. It's okay. Ignore the Negative Nathaniels and do you, Boo Boo.


Agreed boo boo.


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## In The Shade (Jun 26, 2016)

naes said:


> Being sensitive and being a ***** are completely different though.


In my opinion it's not


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

In The Shade said:


> In my opinion it's not


Well then you're doing it wrong.


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## Royals (Jul 20, 2012)

I heard that most women like a man who isn't too whiny, demanding and less emotional than them. But they do appreciate someone who is honest and true about their emotions, dares to open themselves, and knows how to listen and talk to her.


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## Mxx1 (Feb 3, 2015)

Sensitivity is a nice thing in both men and women.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

You can be sensitive without being a spineless doormat. By the same token, you can be confident without being an arrogant *******.

Real _people _are able to walk that line perfectly well in life.



In The Shade said:


> In my opinion it's not


Well that's just _your _opinion, man. You don't speak for anyone but yourself.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

I think you need a good mix of sensitivity and self-respect. don't be a brute, don't be a pushover. either extremes are bad. girls like guys who are sweet, just stand up for yourself when the situation calls for it. I am working on that myself as I was too scared to voice my own opinions or thoughts, but realized I would be much happier in the long run if I did.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> You can be sensitive without being a spineless doormat. By the same token, you can be confident without being an arrogant *******.
> 
> Real _people _are able to walk that line perfectly well in life.
> 
> Well that's just _your _opinion, man. You don't speak for anyone but yourself.


agreed.


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## 8888 (Oct 16, 2014)

I like sensitive guys.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

truant said:


> and takes the red pill.


 The psychological equivalent of smearing oneself with poo in order to attract a mate.


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

I dont think any female likes sensitive guys. Females like a guy that have no feelings. A guy that is mean, angry.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

ljubo said:


> I dont think any female likes sensitive guys. Females like a guy that have no feelings. A guy that is mean, angry.


lol no. You are so confused if you believe that man.


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

naes said:


> lol no. You are so confused if you believe that man.


Do you have any proof to back up your claim?

I have.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)




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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

ljubo said:


> Do you have any proof to back up your claim?
> 
> I have.


Yes. Not every girl is the same first off just like not every guy is the same, but, in general girls like guys with confidence. You are getting confidence confused just like the girl in the video probably with "bad boys". I didn't watch the video but that is what I suspect.


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## Moxi (Nov 24, 2015)

So glad my gender has a representative to speak for us. Now we can rest easy and not waste time with our own opinions, man.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

Moxi said:


> So glad my gender has a representative to speak for us. Now we can rest easy and not waste time with our own opinions, man.


I was thinking the same thing. Like how is a video from one girl proof of anything? There are unfortunately a lot of miserable people on here who are very confused because their lives are so ****ed up. I try not to get upset with them but it's hard. Like literally in another post of mine I made an innocent joke and the OP flipped on me. I've been feeling like **** personally lately and have never had an easy life so a big part of me wanted to just flip back on him, but I'm trying to control myself by understanding where these people are coming from. It still isn't easy though.


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## Moxi (Nov 24, 2015)

naes said:


> I was thinking the same thing. Like how is a video from one girl proof of anything? There are unfortunately a lot of miserable people on here who are very confused because their lives are so ****ed up. I try not to get upset with them but it's hard. Like literally in another post of mine I made an innocent joke and the OP flipped on me. I've been feeling like **** personally lately and have never had an easy life so a big part of me wanted to just flip back on him, but I'm trying to control myself by understanding where these people are coming from. It still isn't easy though.


True. I of course voted for her at the Annual Vagina Convention along with the rest.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

Moxi said:


> True. I of course voted for her at the Annual Vagina Convention along with the rest.


looooooooool xD


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

naes said:


> Yes. Not every girl is the same first off just like not every guy is the same, but, in general girls like guys with confidence. You are getting confidence confused just like the girl in the video probably with "bad boys". I didn't watch the video but that is what I suspect.


all females like guys with confidence, social status, good looks

if you are a guy and dont have confidence, social status and good looks, its 1 % chance of finding a female that likes you.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

ljubo said:


> all females like guys with confidence, social status, good looks
> 
> if you are a guy and dont have confidence, social status and good looks, its 1 % chance of finding a female that likes you.


I won't disagree that those are attractive qualities to women but you my point is you don't have to be James Bond to get girls. I think if you are able to build a relationship with a girl the rest isn't as big of a deal as you expect. Sure, it still matters, but there are plentyyyyy of dudes out there who are idiots and don't look good and are poor but still have girlfriends. I think the main thing is just being able to be comfortable talking to girls and know social cues. SA unfortunately takes away the ability to be yourself and talk to people (which girls are too) without feeling completely uncomfortable which then sometimes translates into a feeling of helplessness and skewed thinking that you must be perfect in order to get a girl. And that is where the alpha and beta crap emerges. Don't get me wrong, I know that stuff exists, but the emphasis some people put on it is absolutely ridiculous. You can't just class people like that.


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## JustAguy6688 (Nov 1, 2016)

Quanny94 said:


> Lol I was talking to this girl at work for some time now and out of no were she hit me with your a sensitive kind of guy. The thing is before that i tryed to act like some tough guy lol but i guess i wasn't doing it right. Not only that but she then followed it up by hesitating t first and finally saying your a nice guy. I heard guys aren't suppose to be sensitive though and its not like i act girly and what not... at least i hope not. Its funny because my sensitivity is showing now i guess:grin2:


Being sensative can be a big turn on to a woman but only when it comes from a man who is strong (think more mentally not physically) and a man who is confident in his own skin.

I can tell you from personal experience that woman like a guy who treats people with kindness and respect. I used to be very rude to strangers and this girl I knew really didnt like it and told me all the time. The second i made an effort to be nicer she thought it was the most adorable thing ever. She loved it.

The point is im no wimp. Im a strong guy but also im being myself. Woman see through acts. Be yourself. If your not strong and confident work to become that NOT try and learn to fake it. So when someone like me shows sensativity the woman love it. When someone who is viewed as weak does it, they just look weaker.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SadSADMan (Oct 10, 2016)

****ing lol no.


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## MaggieRose (Nov 30, 2016)

I love sensitivity in a guy. In fact, if a guy isn't sensitive, he won't get anywhere with me.


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## MaggieRose (Nov 30, 2016)

JustAguy6688 said:


> Being sensative can be a big turn on to a woman but only when it comes from a man who is strong (think more mentally not physically) and a man who is confident in his own skin.
> 
> I can tell you from personal experience that woman like a guy who treats people with kindness and respect. I used to be very rude to strangers and this girl I knew really didnt like it and told me all the time. The second i made an effort to be nicer she thought it was the most adorable thing ever. She loved it.
> 
> ...


This is true. Be sensitive but still be strong in that you know who and what you are. I love a man who is sensitive *and* also secure in himself (it sounds like a big ask, but actually it's not). It makes my knees weak.


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## NeverknowsbestFLCL (Aug 4, 2016)

ljubo said:


> all females like guys with confidence, social status, good looks
> 
> if you are a guy and dont have confidence, social status and good looks, its 1 % chance of finding a female that likes you.


make that 0.0000000000000000000000000001% chance, unless you find a female the same way.

even then, she'll move on. What's it called...._double standard_? yes. As a guy, you need the 3 things mentioned above or you will certainly receive nothing and no one will care. That rule will *never* apply to a female.

double standards suck


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

NeverknowsbestFLCL said:


> make that 0.0000000000000000000000000001% chance, unless you find a female the same way.
> 
> even then, she'll move on. What's it called...._double standard_? yes. As a guy, you need the 3 things mentioned above or you will certainly receive nothing and no one will care. That rule will *never* apply to a female.
> 
> double standards suck


This is not true. There is many females that are alone aswell. I have talked to many. On this forum there is plenty....its not about gender, its about who you are.


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