# Me Meeting Women



## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

My goal for today is to approach 3 women and try to get their phone numbers. I will let you know how it goes.


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## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

Good luck!


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Great goal. Good luck. It is just a numbers game and the more you do it the more confidence you will gain in all aspects of your social life. So I hear, I dont have the guts


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## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

Hope it went well  You should keep at it


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

So that day I didn't go up to to many women...maybe 1. Today I approached like 8 women though and the conversations all went pretty well. I didn't ask for any numbers though.


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## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

That's a good start! Keep it up.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

You approached 8 women in one day. Aye Carumba! 

I want to know were they all friendly? Since we always perceive people to be a threat or to be mean.


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

Yeah they were all friendly. Two were kinda in a rush, but still friendly. One was a bit distracted texting on her phone, but everybody was nice. And these were women who were walking towards me and I stopped them dead in their tracks.


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

I approached like 7 more today, but didn't go as well (still nice enough though). I was with a wingman which I think makes it harder. I do better on my own.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Wow, that is more than I think I could handle! lol

Maybe next time you should end these conversations by getting numbers or dates?


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

AlwaysOnTheOutside said:


> I approached like 7 more today, but didn't go as well (still nice enough though). I was with a wingman which I think makes it harder. I do better on my own.


I do better on my own as well. I focus more on what I have to do.


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

I approached just 1 today. She was glad to talk to me and nice, but the weather was pissing me off so I didn't try to get her number like I should have. I feel like I am getting close, but I hate walking around in the cold.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

AlwaysOnTheOutside said:


> I approached just 1 today. She was glad to talk to me and nice, but the weather was pissing me off so I didn't try to get her number like I should have. I feel like I am getting close, but I hate walking around in the cold.


It's ok, man. Eventually if you keep trying you'll do it. Keep it up!


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## epril (Mar 24, 2009)

Wow! You are on a roll!


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## haikupoet (Feb 9, 2010)

Good job! I wish I had your courage.

What do you ask them?


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## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

WOW! You've approached more women in a few days than I've approached in my whole life.


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## delirium (Jun 24, 2009)

Cold approaching is difficult. If you want to become good at it (i.e. face less 'rejection') then it will take time, patience, persistence, and mad inner game. Personally, I gave this up a while ago. I prefer meeting people in my daily life.

Moreover, you have balls of steel


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Yeah, cold approaches can be energy consuming. I swear the best way is just to be blunt and not to beat around the bush:

"Hey, your kind of cute. Are you single?"

Sounds strange but at least they know why your talking to them. It's normal in my eyes now. Saves considerate amounts of energy too. For me, the shorter and more blunt it is the better.


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

Hey so I went up to about 10 more women today. I didn't ask for any numbers, but it was fun. Kinda cold out. I was with a wingman which helps me approach more women, but I am a little more nervous with the conversation and I don't feel as good about it.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

10 women? that's pretty amazing in itself right there...


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## 2Talkative (Nov 1, 2007)

drealm said:


> You've approached more women in a few days than I've approached in my whole life.


I don't think i've ever even approached a woman. :|


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

I am thinking about doing something similar but completely different. Same concept but just to meet more people in general. Young, old, guys, girls, so on. Just to interact with people. Not to get numbers or try to pick up. Just to get comfortable talking to stangers and holding conversations with people I know nothing about.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

2Talkative said:


> I don't think i've ever even approached a woman. :|


:ditto

Kudos to you Always. You've got more guts than I do.


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

Good job you got some serious balls to do that.


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

I got a number today!


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

ah snap, son! hex yea bioy haha


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## SilverNova (Mar 19, 2010)

AlwaysOnTheOutside said:


> I got a number today!


Good job. Talking to the same sex is hard enough and talking to the opposite sex is way harder. Have you called her yet?


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## Indigo Flow (Oct 3, 2009)

Well done dude


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## slkjao (Aug 5, 2009)

AlwaysOnTheOutside said:


> Yeah they were all friendly. Two were kinda in a rush, but still friendly. One was a bit distracted texting on her phone, but everybody was nice. And these were women who were walking towards me and I stopped them dead in their tracks.


what did u start talking about when u approached them? where do u meet these women? i wanna try this out myself lol


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

I got another number today...tourist leaving Sunday so who knows, but I'll see what I can do.



SilverNova said:


> Good job. Talking to the same sex is hard enough and talking to the opposite sex is way harder. Have you called her yet?


I don't call. I text and we have texted a bit so far.



> what did u start talking about when u approached them? where do u meet these women? i wanna try this out myself lol


I meet them on the street (live in a big city) and asked for a restaurant recommendation, then I said she was cute and I wanted her number lol.


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

I haven't really been keeping this up to date, but I am still doing this. I got a phone number yesterday and today. 

The girl who I was texting before I stopped texting cause she only appeared to want to meet when it was super convenient for her.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

AlwaysOnTheOutside said:


> I haven't really been keeping this up to date, but I am still doing this. I got a phone number yesterday and today.
> 
> The girl who I was texting before I stopped texting cause she only appeared to want to meet when it was super convenient for her.


wow, man, look at you go!:boogie


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## Forest (Jul 11, 2009)

Well done. How do you do it? :b


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## Jason A (Apr 24, 2010)

... Good luck with that.


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

Well I have a date tonight (finally) with the girl I met on march 18th.


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## shazzaTPM (Oct 29, 2008)

You are inspiring me.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

What kind of stuff did you talk about with these women? Also, how long did you talk to them before you asked for their numbers? A cute vendor talked to me today while I was in the freezer. I wanted to ask her out but I thought it would be strange if I did because I just met her.


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## theCARS1979 (Apr 26, 2010)

i need to start approaching girls again but where do i begin and when. I need some ideas. I do say hello to some. but i need help !


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## hadouken (May 19, 2010)

I approached a woman 3 weeks ago. After talking to her for five minutes, she told me that her husband was coming... I RAN FAST lol


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

AlwaysOnTheOutside said:


> Well I have a date tonight (finally) with the girl I met on march 18th.


Good job!


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

Need updates


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

mbp86 said:


> Need updates


LOL the date wasn't much fun - we didn't click.

I've approached a few other women since then, but nothing special, no numbers. The weather is nice now so I'll try to get some stories for ya by the end of the summer.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

Can you offer me some tips? I never know what to say to women. 

The ladies I see are always strangers. I have no connections through friends and I'm not interested in any of my coworkers. I've been told by a few members on this site that its not a good idea to approach a stranger and ask for her number. How do you feel about that? Must I be around the same woman for a few times before asking her out?


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

Well, I disagree with that approach completely! My strategy is to make a good impression quickly, then say I gotta run! I am much less nervous approaching women now because I know I'm going to cut it off after 3-5 minutes and just ask for the number. Having this mindset I don't worry so much about what I'm going to say because I don't have to say a whole lot. Could you tell me about the environment where you see these women and maybe I can offer some tips?


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

I see them at Wal-Mart.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

You must be good looking, and I don't mean just having confidence in yourself that you're attractive. I mean obvious, subjective, movie star good looks. If you're not, then you're certainly an anomaly. How many of the numbers you've gotten have been fake?


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

mbp86 said:


> I see them at Wal-Mart.


I guess you are in a small town. Wal-Mart would be tough as I like to approach them outdoors where there is noise cancellation and less snooping on me. I would say to just tell them you saw them and think they are cute, but make it like you are in a hurry and just need to get your shopping done. Chit chat for a minute, then ask for a drink later and #.


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

IcedOver said:


> You must be good looking, and I don't mean just having confidence in yourself that you're attractive. I mean obvious, subjective, movie star good looks. If you're not, then you're certainly an anomaly. How many of the numbers you've gotten have been fake?


The fake numbers thing I don't even know if it exists to be honest, at least not with the mature, educated women I usually approach. I have been declined, but never a fake number. Maybe if I was doing this at clubs and bars I would get fake numbers, but that's why I do it during the daytime. Women are much more friendly and not on their guard then. That's what I've learned.


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## AlwaysOnTheOutside (Jan 11, 2010)

joinmartin said:


> "You must be good looking, and I don't mean just having confidence in yourself that you're attractive. I mean obvious, subjective, movie star good looks. If you're not, then you're certainly an anomaly. How many of the numbers you've gotten have been fake?"
> 
> If this person isn't "good looking" then they must be an anomaly? Why? Or is that the belief system that is holding you back trying to defend itself?
> 
> ...


I agree with this. Trust me, I wish I had a lot of friend and social circle to meet women, but I don't so I had to come up with another way. I found out that if I just bite the bullet and go talk to a girl during the day, my odds are pretty good.


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## Recipe For Disaster (Jun 8, 2010)

i have been doing this myself recently. i'm not looking to date right now, so i haven't been asking for numbers. i am just trying to build confidence and observe how girls react to me approaching them.



> But there's nothing wrong with just approaching someone and asking for their number. It's one approach. It's not necessarily the right approach or the best approach. It is just a way of doing things. It takes a lot of confidence. But it can be done.


i actually find that it way takes far less confidence than asking out a girl whom i've met through friends (something i was never able to do). the reason for that is with a girl my friends know, i could not stand the thought of her rejecting me and then having to see her when she was hanging out with my friends and having all my friends know she rejected me (or maybe they wouldn't know but either way, I couldn't handle it). with a random girl you just approach, you never have to see her again. 

my main problem, is thinking of what to say after i have said hello. it's so bad at times that the girl will say something and i simply won't answer her because my mind goes so blank or i simply can't decide what I should say so i try to bide my time until the reply window has actually passed. 

i really like the "hey you're cute, are you single?" line someone else suggested. maybe I will use it someday if I feel ready try going on a date. hiding my true intentions of why I am talking to a girl has never worked for me, because I never get around to making them clear and try too hard to be polite. i've never understood how to make the transition from a casual conversation to something sexual. I think I have so much anxiety over that, that the best thing for me to do is state my intentions at the very start and get it over with. i just wish i had started doing this years ago, when i was in college. 

by the way, the website omegle.com (which just hooks you up with a random stranger for chatting) is what originally inspired me to start doing this. i thought, if I am capable of having a conversation with someone I just met online, then I should also be able to do it in the physical world, at least in theory. of course it's way harder in the world for a number of reasons and I've yet to succeed in having any real life conversations anywhere near as interesting as some of my online ones, but the difference now is that I believe talking to strangers is possible.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

*hmm*

"my main problem, is thinking of what to say after i have said hello. it's so bad at times that the girl will say something and i simply won't answer her because my mind goes so blank or i simply can't decide what I should say so i try to bide my time until the reply window has actually passed. "

And the mind goes blank and you can't think of what to say. Head space overload. Where the anxiety crashes into the internal dialogue and the constant observation of how you're interacting in a given situation and the fears and the belief systems and all that noise gets too much. And the mind goes blank.

So get out of the head space. Get into the moment. I had a conversation with a woman on a train last Sunday. Did I instantly have a load of lines in my head. No. I got into the situation and used the situation to start the conversation. And then the conversation flowed naturally.

A lot of people rush to get conversation starters and skills because it will give them confidence in conversations. And yeah, it's okay. But it knowing what to say isn't going to stop the fear. You'll know what to say but be too afraid to say it.

But by getting into the moment and become centred, you can tackle both knowing what to say and the anxiety.

The exercise I borrowed from my psychotherapy course helps with that. If you can't find it in my posts, PM me and I'll talk you through it. It is not a cure for anxiety. But it does help.


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## mbp86 (May 11, 2010)

AlwaysOnTheOutside said:


> I guess you are in a small town. Wal-Mart would be tough as I like to approach them outdoors where there is noise cancellation and less snooping on me. I would say to just tell them you saw them and think they are cute, but make it like you are in a hurry and just need to get your shopping done. Chit chat for a minute, then ask for a drink later and #.


What do I do if I have a Wal-Mart uniform on?

Should I ask a girl in produce if I can inspect her melons to make sure they are firm?


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