# Feeling like an outcast in class



## AnxietyInferno (Jun 3, 2011)

How do you deal with feeling like an outcast in class? For example, today in my english class she told us to get a partner or group and answer some questions from the story. The guy next to me starts working with the other guy next to him. And the group of girls on the other side of my already know each other and start right away. I even looked around and everyone else had found someone even if they didn't know each other already. Then there's me .. the only person in the room working alone. At least the professor didn't point it out , she just let me work by myself. It's still a sucky feeling though. I've had this happen to me in earlier school years, but for some reason it hits harder in college. all these years and I still can't make a friend or even socialize right.

then we talked about the story together as a whole class and there was drugs and alcohol involved in the story. everyone was talking about their experiences with weed and stuff. and how drinking is so great. I've never tried either and I just felt so out of place. I swear, sometimes.. or rather most of the time I feel like an alien from another planet even compared to people my own age.

What are your experiences relating to this?


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## StNaive (Feb 21, 2013)

I think a lot of people can definitely relate to this(myself included) whether they're in high school or college/university. It can absolutely be an alienating experience, but you're also not alone.

Something that I've learned to do, and that might help you too, is to keep an eye out during lectures for other people who might not have come in with a friend/not talking to people around them. They may be feeling the way you do, and choosing them for a group project could be good for both of you. Even that isn't always easy, but I've found it to be a nice way to do it.

I don't know if that helps, but just know that you aren't alone in feeling this, at least.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

How big are your classes? I've never been in a situation where there was _no one_ to group with. There was always a handful of loners left over when the teacher's "OK, everyone group up" call was made.

My first semester in college rather sucked, in part, because of this. I didn't even attempt connecting with people early on, so when the time came for groups, I got stuck on the outside.

The only workaround I found was to buck up and talk to people. It doesn't have to be anything special - ask them about their courses, how they like the class, the teacher, their families, their work, what they want to do with their lives, and joke around a bit. Just enough to kind of break the ice.

After that first semester, I made a point of talking to a few people very early on in courses so that I'd have people to go to for this kind of stuff.


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## NeverendingCycle (Oct 14, 2013)

I honestly feel like I'm a wall when it comes to uni


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## catsarecute (Jun 11, 2013)

I'm exactly the same. It makes you feel very out of place.


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## Kalliber (Aug 18, 2012)

Yep felt the same way


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## PersonPersoning (Oct 5, 2013)

Story of my life.:no


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Thank god you didn't get called out on working alone. All my teachers put us in to groups/pairs themselves... I used to hate it when school teachers did that but I coulden't be more glad of it now.

One thing I'd like to know is how the **** everyone in class seems to know each other so well right from when class starts, like... did I miss everyone get to know each other day??? Wtf...


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## Crystsal (Mar 31, 2011)

One thing I'd like to know is how the **** everyone in class seems to know each other so well right from when class starts, like... did I miss everyone get to know each other day??? Wtf...[/QUOTE]

I feel exactly the same way. People just automatically pair up. its like wtf..did i miss something? was there a meet and greet day before this? 
I hate partnering up. Its annoying and unneccessary. I rather do the work on my own. Let me be. lol.


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## Haillzz91 (Oct 26, 2013)

This used to happen to me all the time, but I found out the secret to having a classmate ask you to be their partner. You just gotta APPEAR confident! 

I had to take argumentative speech this semester. We did 2 speeches and I bombed both of them. I was the most nervous looking person in class, I kept "dancing" while I spoke, spoke in a monotone voice, kept looking at my flash cards etc....

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? When the teacher told us to partner up for a debate. I instantly sat up straight in my chair, put the slightest smile on my face (friendly, but not creapy) and IN AN INSTANT a really nice girl asked to be my partner! And later on, another girl asked me to be her partner, but I told her I had one already. 

Bottom line...if you use all your energy for a few moments to appear confident, happy, welcoming, interesting etc., a social person will ask YOU to be their partner, so you won't even HAVE to do the hard part of asking


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## Haillzz91 (Oct 26, 2013)

Also, become aware of how you appear. If you look scared, nervous, are slouched over, and rapidly looking back and forth for a partner, no one will pick you because they're gonna feel awkward and anxious themselves.


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## naes (Nov 1, 2013)

sounds like your class is filled with losers if they're saying how great it is to do drugs while they're in school..for a project! be glad you're not their friends.


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## MrZetnek (Oct 12, 2013)

I am always the odd ne out, the one with no partner. It can be tough but you just have to get through it. I see that most of the time I'm the only 1 actually doing work while the groups spend the whole time talking, nothing gets done. I did not expect this to change in college.

"everyone was talking about their experiences with weed and stuff. and how drinking is so great. I've never tried either and I just felt so out of place. I swear, sometimes.. or rather most of the time I feel like an alien from another planet even compared to people my own age."

More like THEIR the aliens. It is no accomplishment to drink alcohol and smoke weed. If you have nothing to contribute then that's perfectly fine. I have been in situations like this many times, and usually more than half the class is made of simple minded idiots.


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