# Cold approaoched 6 women at the mall today.



## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

-1 gave me her number, but it looks suspect to me.
-Another girl I talked to for a while, and she gave me props for approaching. She said it rarely happens to her.
- got completely blown out by two preppy chicks, it was pretty funny though
- then there was two others where I walked away with nothing.

I really wasn't approaching to get numbers or dates, I just wanted to look the fear in the eye and squash it.

It's pretty fun to do; I may go out tomorrow and do it.

One thing I will say is it is emotionally exhausting. After approach five I was gassed. When I was walking around I felt like I was in a daze, and couldn't remember anything lol.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Well done.

I think its important you keep it up now.. the worst part of the hurdle is over, it should just get easier from now  - keep it up and kill the fear completely imo.


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

splendidbob said:


> Well done.
> 
> I think its important you keep it up now.. the worst part of the hurdle is over, it should just get easier from now  - keep it up and kill the fear completely imo.


 This is the exact approach I am taking. I need to keep this momentum going.

Thanks, buddy!


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## Gus954 (Jul 25, 2013)

i hate you im jealous i could never do this


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

Hey just remember that even people without Social Anxiety don't have the balls to do this! Plus literally everyone gets a bunch of rejections so don't get discouraged! I have done it before and it's just sooo nerve wracking haha. I will never do it again unless I really really really like a girl I see. Congratulations buddy


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

Gus954 said:


> i hate you im jealous i could never do this


 You can do it, all it takes is courage. Once you do it enough times you then start to become confident.

Nothing bad happens, and you get massive amounts of respect. As I said, the second girl I approached was so baffled. She even complemented me on how bold I was.

The two preppy chicks I approached at the same time was one of the most awkward situations I was ever in lol. One of the girls got sketched out and walked to the other side of her friend. In my head I told myself to keep going, and stayed for another two minutes talking random stuff. It was awesome, because I was facing embarrassment (which I fear). The reason it was so awkward was because I didn't know how to handle two girls at the same time. And, it was kind of intimidating.

My GAD is still with me. I'm having heart palpitations right now as we speak. I'm a stronger person than I was yesterday though.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

How do you manage to walk with two boulders hanging from between your legs?


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

CowGoMoo said:


> Hey just remember that even people without Social Anxiety don't have the balls to do this! Plus literally everyone gets a bunch of rejections so don't get discouraged! I have done it before and it's just sooo nerve wracking haha. I will never do it again unless I really really really like a girl I see. Congratulations buddy


 Thanks!

I'm cool with the rejections; I expect nothing less at this point. To my surprise no one was harsh, at worst I got "I already have a boyfriend".

A lot of them smiled as well. I think the reason they did is because a lot of people fear cold approaching a random person during the day, and it rarely happens to them.

I felt so good after I did it.


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## skyisblue (Nov 7, 2014)

I've done about 70 of these approaches. Doing it alone is very tough, and it's definitely weird because I would be alone with my thoughts after the approach. I remember after one of the rejections it was like uh, what do i do now. 

The reason i stopped was I have a foot injury, and doing these approaches requires walking and standing up, something that I'm trying to avoid doing at the moment.

I believe these approaches are something that should be mandatory for men with bad social anxiety. The amount of confidence I got from doing these approaches was extremely high. I would have to think after 2000 approaches or so that a guy will get rid of a lot of approach anxiety. After I stopped doing approaches my confidence has gone down a lot. 

It makes you look at the world differently. It makes you realize women are not above you, they are just people that can be talked to in a grocery store, for instance. A lot of guys have this putting women on a pedestal thing, I admit, I used to have that. 

I think a key to doing these approaches is to just focus on doing the approach. That's it. All that matters in your mind is that walked up to a girl and said something. Rejections are something that are going to happen, and you already have the perfect attitude, just laugh it off. I laughed right in front of a girl once when she said she didn't want to give her number. 

You have to have a sense of humor with this thing. Because if you can't laugh, then you aren't having fun, and will care too much. 

I could go on about this stuff. I'll cut it short though. 

One last thing, look for guys to do the approaches with.....it helps immensely. The rejections I got when I was with a wingman....i didn't even feel those rejections because i would just laugh about it with my buddy.

Try pick up artist forums to look for wingmen. Suprisingly I found multiple guys doing pick up in my area and did approaches with 4 of them.

Still, the "pick-up" community is extremely small. Over 90% of single guys don't want to deal with the rejection, and they will make up excuses why they can't approach. The amount of guys that do the pick up consistently is so small. 

I read somewhere that most people date through friends or work.


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

skyisblue said:


> I've done about 70 of these approaches. Doing it alone is very tough, and it's definitely weird because I would be alone with my thoughts after the approach. I remember after one of the rejections it was like uh, what do i do now.
> 
> The reason i stopped was I have a foot injury, and doing these approaches requires walking and standing up, something that I'm trying to avoid doing at the moment.
> 
> ...


 Thanks for sharing your story 

I totally agree, the confidence will be temporary if this is something you don't continuously practice. I also like your idea of just focusing on the approach. That is my whole attitude going in; I could care little about the outcome. My main goal is to overcome the fear.

It's awesome you got past the rejections. I laughed off three today. There was this super attractive chick (by my standards) coming up the escalator with her friends, BOOM, I approach, then all I get is this weird stare 



, and I was off laughing.

I'm very tempted to go back to my old college tomorrow and do some more.


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## skyisblue (Nov 7, 2014)

hypnot1c said:


> Thanks for sharing your story
> 
> I totally agree, the confidence will be temporary if this is something you don't continuously practice. I also like your idea of just focusing on the approach. That is my whole attitude going in; I could care little about the outcome. My main goal is to overcome the fear.
> 
> ...


I'm a big believer in small victories.

If you want to, you could even cheer after you say hi, haha. I personally think that's funny.

A lot of girls will do the stare type of thing, or most of the time there will just be this awkward vibe because girls aren't used to being approached during the day by a random guy.

It's at that point where a guy has to step over social boundaries. Social boundaries.....are the biggest thing that hold guys back.

There is this unwritten thing in the USA especially that says it's "weird" to approach strangers and try to get their number. A guy must overcome that and in a way, be ok with being different and not being a permission boy.

I recommend watching pick up videos on youtube. My favorite video is the JOhnny Berba one where he smashes approach anxiety.


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## Gus954 (Jul 25, 2013)

Im gonna start cold approaching girls once i lose a bit of weight,get a job, and start going back to college


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## New Dissonance (Dec 13, 2014)

hypnot1c said:


> I just wanted to look the fear in the eye and squash it.
> It's pretty fun to do


Right on, that is the attitude! The best feeling is to take a fear and turn it around into something you enjoy! Empower yourself!



hypnot1c said:


> When I was walking around I felt like I was in a daze, and couldn't remember anything lol.


That was most likely the adrenaline


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## Joepert28 (Jul 6, 2014)

Im going to do this too


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

I'm impressed. This is what I'd like to do if I were more courageous and less sensitive & fearful.

Try to remind myself that some people would like to be approached and talked to. the more people I go through the more likely I'd be to find ones that liked me back. Starting is hard though.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

skyisblue said:


> I read somewhere that most people date through friends or work.


Or online dating sites, which is my crutch to avoid talking to strangers face to face.


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## Sleeper92 (Oct 3, 2010)

buzz off


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

The problem I have with cold approaches is the knowledge that 2/3 of these women really don't want to be approached for various reasons.. Ranging from married/having someone already to just plain doesn't feel safe to have dudes coming up and putting them on the spot.


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

knightofdespair said:


> The problem I have with cold approaches is the knowledge that 2/3 of these women really don't want to be approached for various reasons.. Ranging from married/having someone already to just plain doesn't feel safe to have dudes coming up and putting them on the spot.


 I don't think they really care about being approached to be honest. Sometimes their faces will light up, sometimes they'll be surprised you had the balls to be so bold, others will ignore you.

Introverted people get a bad rap, so if the world wants me to speak up than that is what I am going to do.


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

Sleeper92 said:


> buzz off





> dont lie, thanks


 I can understand where you guys are coming from.


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

mjkittredge said:


> I'm impressed. This is what I'd like to do if I were more courageous and less sensitive & fearful.
> 
> Try to remind myself that some people would like to be approached and talked to. the more people I go through the more likely I'd be to find ones that liked me back. Starting is hard though.


 I'd say give it a try. It's the only way to become less sensitive and fearful.

At a certain point you start to become numb to what others think about you, and you stop overanalyzing everything.

For all I know some of those girls I approached went on facebook and posted about how some creeper at the mall approached them.

Zero *****s given; it will be forgotten about in a day.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

That's suicide for me because i would of had a heart attack.


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## yodogsup (Nov 25, 2014)

Just wondering, what kind of openers did you use on these women during the day? I mean I guess its gotta be a good excuse.

I can approach in clubs/bars/raves/parties other nightlife etc but that's only because its kind of set up to go meet new people/girls. and even then only asked for a number when a girl approached me first...


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

hypnot1c said:


> I don't think they really care about being approached to be honest. Sometimes their faces will light up, sometimes they'll be surprised you had the balls to be so bold, others will ignore you.
> 
> Introverted people get a bad rap, so if the world wants me to speak up than that is what I am going to do.


Maybe its just because I feel so irritated when random people walk up to me.. But I could see how many of them would feel the same way, depending mostly on the environment. Some areas they are probably expecting it much more than say, shopping.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

You should be proud, dude.


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## nothing else (Oct 27, 2013)

If you're non-white and live in a southern area I'd recommend not doing this


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

yodogsup said:


> Just wondering, what kind of openers did you use on these women during the day? I mean I guess its gotta be a good excuse.


 Just walked up to them, looked them in the eye, said I thought they looked cute, introduced myself......

from there was just some light chit chat, and asked for their number.



> I can approach in clubs/bars/raves/parties other nightlife etc but that's only because its kind of set up to go meet new people/girls. and even then only asked for a number when a girl approached me first...


 Clubs are probably a more efficient place to do this, because it is a social environment. I don't hit clubs up anymore, so I'm narrowed down to public places.


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

Buckyx said:


> smart removing my name from quote, I see everything
> 
> I just dont believe you, what are you doing here anyway?


1.) You're free to not believe me.

2.) Because I have GAD


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

srschirm said:


> You should be proud, dude.


 Thanks, bro.


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## DeafBoy36 (Dec 12, 2009)

Best way to get girls? Befriend with a gay guy. They know a lot of girls so they aren't afraid of approaching girls.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Harassing poor women in the mall.. tsk tsk. You need to learn the virtues of feminism.


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

RelinquishedHell said:


> Harassing poor women in the mall.. tsk tsk. You need to learn the virtues of feminism.


Trolling?

I look at it more as a form of exposure therapy. It's more efficient than ruining my brain with toxic chemicals that don't improve my life by one iota.

Furthermore, I have little sympathy for the women. I'm just doing what I was programed to do.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

hypnot1c said:


> Furthermore, I have little sympathy for the women. I'm just doing what I was programed to do.


And this is why that kind of approach is always a bad idea. They would have come up to you if they wanted to talk. Them coming somewhere and intentionally being away means they wanted to be away. If you go to a party or a friends house and someone passes out some beers and the opportunity comes up, sure why not say hi but just randomly going up to people will always start things out on a bad foot. What kind of desperate woman is going to feel good about calling up some guy that just wandered out of the blue like a homeless person or a salesman? If they're hot and single, they already got 5 interested friends I'm sure, who already know this person and have established some kind of connection with them. TBH if you did this enough, decent chance of one of them even pulling out the mace.


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

knightofdespair said:


> And this is why that kind of approach is always a bad idea.[


That's just your subjective opinion. It's a good idea to me.



> They would have come up to you if they wanted to talk.


 How do you know this?



> Them coming somewhere and intentionally being away means they wanted to be away.


 May be true in some instances, false in others.



> If you go to a party or a friends house and someone passes out some beers and the opportunity comes up, sure why not say hi but just randomly going up to people will always start things out on a bad foot.


Sure, it'd be nice to be in a party environment, but I don't have those resources right now. This is more than women, this is about improving myself. This is about overcoming fear, and learning to communicate better on the most difficult level.

Sometimes it may start things out on a bad foot, but it wont be like that 100% of the time, period.



> What kind of desperate woman is going to feel good about calling up some guy that just wandered out of the blue like a homeless person or a salesman? If they're hot and single, they already got 5 interested friends I'm sure, who already know this person and have established some kind of connection with them. TBH if you did this enough, decent chance of one of them even pulling out the mace.


 I don't know what you're talking about here. If you're implying that I'm desperate that is far from the case.

If they're single and attractive you have no idea what their situation may be like. Sure, they may have tons of guys begging for a chance. There may be some that don't have that going on in their life. All of this is assumption, speculation, and story telling to convince yourself not to take some sort of action to improve your situation.

The mace comment is completely absurd. The chances of that are slim to none.

Sounds to me like your just making up excuses. If there is some other form of social exposure that you could benefit from, knock yourself out. This isn't the only way to get over anxiety.

I'll let everyone here know one thing, I'd rather go out fighting then continuously coming to this forum crying about how horrible my life is. I have sympathy for people who struggle with this stuff, because I have dealt with it. But, you have to try to dig yourself out.

I refuse to let fear dominate my life.


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## yodogsup (Nov 25, 2014)

was actually going to try this at least once today but some b!tch on tinder, who actually starting talking to me first just told me "she'd never **** me" .

wtf why start talking to me in the first place then if you think you're so above me?
women are cruel i've already lost my strength to do this.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

hypnot1c said:


> Trolling?
> 
> I look at it more as a form of exposure therapy. It's more efficient than ruining my brain with toxic chemicals that don't improve my life by one iota.
> 
> Furthermore, I have little sympathy for the women. I'm just doing what I was programed to do.


The problem for many men is that they DO have empathy and don't feel good about bothering women like that. Also rejection after rejecting would lower their self esteem.


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

scarpia said:


> The problem for many men is that they DO have empathy and don't feel good about bothering women like that. Also rejection after rejecting would lower their self esteem.


 Let me ask you something. Do you think that girl that everyone wanted to date in high school or college had any empathy for the shy/anxious kid in the back of the classroom?

Hell no. So, are you saying someone should have empathy when the feeling isn't reciprocal?

Rejection may hurt some peoples self-esteem, but not so much for others.

I embrace the rejection. It makes me strong. It tempers me. I revel in it.

No one got strong off of hiding away from pain. This life is predicated on suffering. You either deal with it, or hide away in darkness and pain.

Everyone here has the choice.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

Let me point out something, you bothered 6 women and got nothing but a fake number.


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

knightofdespair said:


> Let me point out something, you bothered 6 women and got nothing but a fake number.


 What does it matter? lol. And, I got one real number, the rest I got nothing.

The whole point of the drill is to face the fear! My life is going good right now; I don't really need a woman in my life at this point. Plus, I didn't bother anyone; I have value.

Do you understand the universal benefit from doing this? This will cause you to take action in all areas of your life. It creates an assertive person who runs towards challenges. This is how men are made.

You're being negative, hence why you can't rise above all this.


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## sarahsjourney (Jan 5, 2014)

knightofdespair said:


> Let me point out something, you bothered 6 women and got nothing but a fake number.


What's up with that? I know from personal experience I have withheld my number from people who haved asked because I'm in a relationship or because I thought they were messing around or I was in a hurry to get somewhere. I'm quite guarded anyway and would be wary of giving my number to ANY stranger I've just met. Point being: The rejection was never a reflection on them personally.

I think it's amazing what you've done and I totally admire your attitude.

"I refuse to let fear dominate my life." Amen!

Keep going! :clap


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## New Dissonance (Dec 13, 2014)

*To the OP:* You are a winner, and you will continue to win based on your extremely positive and proactive attitude. Not only that, but it is pretty clear to me that you've spent some time learning to control your mind and master your emotions. The brilliant way you are handling all of these trolls and haters is impressive.

*To all negative trolls, haters, and people with nothing helpful to say:* Why don't you go get a life and try actually improving it? Tearing down other people only tears yourself down in the long wrong. I pity you. Good luck in life :no


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## New Dissonance (Dec 13, 2014)

Buckyx said:


> smart removing my name from quote, I see everything
> 
> I just dont believe you, what are you doing here anyway?


A far better question is, what are YOU doing here? FYI, that is a rhetorical question.


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## New Dissonance (Dec 13, 2014)

knightofdespair said:


> Let me point out something, you bothered 6 women and got nothing but a fake number.


Let me point out something far more accurate than what you pointed out: You just bothered everyone reading this thread, and got nothing but negative credit to your name and applied to your life.



knightofdespair said:


> The problem I have with cold approaches is the knowledge that 2/3 of these women really don't want to be approached for various reasons..


Actually, the problem that you have is that your "knowledge" of what these women want is unsubstantiated and randomly determined by your own negative attitude. That is the only fact in this scenario.


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## New Dissonance (Dec 13, 2014)

I'm out of here.


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## handsup (Jun 22, 2013)

How did you feel? Did you have a shaky voice or did you get any anxiety signals into your body?


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## handsup (Jun 22, 2013)

hypnot1c said:


> What does it matter? lol. And, I got one real number, the rest I got nothing.
> 
> The whole point of the drill is to face the fear! My life is going good right now; I don't really need a woman in my life at this point. Plus, I didn't bother anyone; I have value.
> 
> ...


I agree with you, keep up the good work. Never give a fck about jealous haters.


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

skyisblue said:


> There is this unwritten thing in the USA especially that says it's "weird" to approach strangers and try to get their number. A guy must overcome that and in a way, be ok with being different and not being a permission boy.


Exactly. I feel like approaching strangers is rude. It's like I can't overcome this. I'm a nice guy. Nice guys can't be rude. lol

You guys have lots of balls to do this. If I were younger, I would definitely do cold approaches to get over anxiety.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

New Dissonance said:


> Let me point out something far more accurate than what you pointed out: You just bothered everyone reading this thread, and got nothing but negative credit to your name and applied to your life.
> 
> Actually, the problem that you have is that your "knowledge" of what these women want is unsubstantiated and randomly determined by your own negative attitude. That is the only fact in this scenario.


The difference is I'm not out there bothering married women or women who most likely have boyfriends and you guys are. You guys in this thread SHOULD be bothered because its dumb to just walk up and invade the privacy of people who don't want to talk to you.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

hypnot1c said:


> Let me ask you something. Do you think that girl that everyone wanted to date in high school or college had any empathy for the shy/anxious kid in the back of the classroom?
> 
> Hell no. So, are you saying someone should have empathy when the feeling isn't reciprocal?


It sounds like you hated the attractive women in your school and now want to take it out on random women in the mall. Is it really sound thinking to assume that anyone you meet has no empathy?


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

New Dissonance said:


> *To the OP:* You are a winner, and you will continue to win based on your extremely positive and proactive attitude. Not only that, but it is pretty clear to me that you've spent some time learning to control your mind and master your emotions. The brilliant way you are handling all of these trolls and haters is impressive.
> 
> *To all negative trolls, haters, and people with nothing helpful to say:* Why don't you go get a life and try actually improving it? Tearing down other people only tears yourself down in the long wrong. I pity you. Good luck in life :no


 Thanks, Dissonance!

You're totally correct on your point about me spending a lot of time on learning how to reframe my emotions, in a different light, so that they become easier to manage through difficult situations.

It's been a combination of reading, and now, taking action.

Thanks for your positive contribution to my thread. My goal is just to try and inspire people to get out of this mess. Inside each one of us we have the will to overcome these trying circumstances.

Hope all is well, and good luck on your journey.


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

handsup said:


> How did you feel? Did you have a shaky voice or did you get any anxiety signals into your body?


 Yes, I had all of those symptoms.

The key thing about doing this is fighting through the feelings, which everybody gets when doing something risky like this, and if the interaction fails not to be too hard on yourself afterwards. In fact, congratulate yourself for doing something that most people will never do.

What you'll find is some people will give off a bad vibe, where you'll know to cut your loses, and others will be warm, and the anxiety will fade quickly, and enable you to have a normal convo. The great thing is you win either way in doing this. Even if you get blown out you'll feel the high of overcoming the fear. I love it!

Practice enough and you'll become bullet proof to rejection, and the feelings will lessen to a point you won't pay them any mind.


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

scarpia said:


> It sounds like you hated the attractive women in your school and now want to take it out on random women in the mall. Is it really sound thinking to assume that anyone you meet has no empathy?


Quite the contrary my friend; I don't hate women at all! I actually love them 

I just got of a seven, plus year, relationship a couple of years ago. Over this time I have been just trying to improve myself as an aggregate, and really soak in my areas of improvement at being a partner.

Furthermore, I've had a semi-normal life up till about 23: parties, friends, and hook-ups. The last several years I have been battling GAD, which was very severe in the beginning, essentially demolishing my life (rendering me non-functional, and losing all my "friends"/whatever social skills I had), but with hard work I have been destroying it little by little.

After it's all said and done I will be stronger than I was before I developed my disorder.

The whole point of the post, you misinterpreted, is that your empathy is unwarranted in these matters.


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## hypnot1c (Dec 1, 2014)

And, so no one gets any false impressions of me, I have always struggled with:


low esteem/confidence 
shyness 
being quite 
introversion 
anxious around new people 
always had a hard time talking to girls for the most part 
slightly awkward
 When I hit 23 I had a nervous breakdown, got addicted to Xanax, and my life has been a struggle the last five years.

I know others here have been struggling longer, and have had a more difficult journey, but I know what it is like. I have been sulking, and not taking the action I need too to climb out of this.

Once your back is against the wall for so long, you'll start to take action; you really have no choice. I got a job in sales, and I was a wreck in the beginning lol. I had people laugh at me; I even had a client tell my sales manager I was awkward.

I know the feelings.


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## handsup (Jun 22, 2013)

The country is really important. You are from the US.

I've tried it for the first time in my life (yesterday), and the girl was so angry, she almost called the police. I doubt I'll ever try it again, it's a really risky job for me. I felt like I'm a raper. F*** these conservative people.


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## yodogsup (Nov 25, 2014)

Yeah I tried as well got ignored by 5 girls.

Instead I think I'm going to try the "Simple 30" program, 30 days of small steps towards cold approaching.

For example for Day 2 I had to ask 3 people to give me a compliment.
I only asked two groups of two girls and they actually replied and seemed to have fun with it. 
Although it is way harder to approach a girl alone and takes alot of skill to get them to talk to you i think. This is also really the only way to get a date/number without a friend getting in the way during the day.

The OP says he had a normal life and a long-term gf before so of course this would come way more naturally for him then someone starting from scratch.
Same with my wing who is a normal although hes being going for a year.

And honestly better to work on anxiety first.
This is the only time ill have a wing tho so i have to rush myself


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## DasBoot89 (Mar 20, 2012)

What did you talk to them about?


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## skyisblue (Nov 7, 2014)

AngelClare said:


> Exactly. I feel like approaching strangers is rude. It's like I can't overcome this. I'm a nice guy. Nice guys can't be rude. lol
> 
> You guys have lots of balls to do this. If I were younger, I would definitely do cold approaches to get over anxiety.


I really think it comes down to desire to change more than anything.

It took me four days to do my first cold approach by myself. I went to Target and just walked around for 3 days and couldn't approach. This gives you an idea of how shy I am.

What it came down to was I finally told myself, if you don't do this you'll never change, never meet girls.

Honestly I am a wuss, haha. The majority of guys are way more socially courageous than me. But when I really want something, I can step outside my comfort zone.

Why do you think age matters? A guy could be 60 and still be doing cold approach.


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## skyisblue (Nov 7, 2014)

handsup said:


> The country is really important. You are from the US.
> 
> I've tried it for the first time in my life (yesterday), and the girl was so angry, she almost called the police. I doubt I'll ever try it again, it's a really risky job for me. I felt like I'm a raper. F*** these conservative people.


Hmm, depends on how you did it, what you said and the way you said it.

If your approach was indirect and she says she's calling the cops then that's just really bad luck.

Anyway, she can't do anything. All you're doing is talking to another human being.....not a crime. I've always laughed at the thought of someone calling the cops on me just for attempting to have a conversation with another person.

If they want to, go ahead. I'll have a good laugh with the police when they find out all I did was attempt to get a measly phone number.


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## skyisblue (Nov 7, 2014)

hypnot1c said:


> Do you understand the universal benefit from doing this? This will cause you to take action in all areas of your life. It creates an assertive person who runs towards challenges. This is how men are made.


Very true.

It teaches a man how to present himself as a man.


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## DasBoot89 (Mar 20, 2012)

I have never enjoyed "looking" for challenges. I usually try to avoid them at all costs, unless I must absolutely get involved due to problems that directly involve me.

I suppose that is rare, but it is just how I have always felt about things.


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## Jay JaySon (Dec 28, 2014)

Respect for you. I am going to follow your example. I have cured myself of fear of public speaking. Approach anxiety is the next thing I am going cure. Thanks for sharing your story.


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## batman can (Apr 18, 2007)

I think it's pretty obnoxious personally. 

Some asshat did this to my gf at the mall (I wasnt there), she didn't enjoy it. She was just trying to shop and had no interest in having some random dude hit on her. She was nice to him but made fun of him, and the whole situation, afterwards.


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## tonyhd71 (Jul 27, 2014)

It baffles me how people from this site can do this.

Cold approaching 6 girls at a mall? Even normies would struggle to do that. 

Congratulations bro.


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## Polo1 (Jan 4, 2015)

This is what I'm trying to go, I go out everyday and try and confront my fears, and this is the BEST way to do it, daygame is awesome, I go to malls, grocery stores, libraries and try and walk up to random chicks and talk to them. I can't believe so many people here are hating on you, what losers. 

At first I didn't talk to anyone, I just went out just to be more comfortable being outdoors. People act like social anxiety is a disease/virus and can't be cured. I still have lots of fears but I'm still trying.


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## Zack (Apr 20, 2013)

I also think this is more creepy than self-empowering or positive. The OP objectifies the women he approaches.


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## coraline50 (Jan 8, 2015)

*-*

Congratulations for taking such massive steps towards dealing with anxiety- like others have said, this is something that lots of non SA sufferers would have massive difficulty with.

As for the 'cold approaching' thing- personally (as a woman) I would be pretty terrified and maybe a little suspicious if someone suddenly approached me and started chatting me up, but then I do have agoraphobia and severe social phobia, so when I do manage to get out the door the last thing I want to have to deal with is conversation!

I can't really see anything wrong with what you're doing, it's nice to be friendly- but obviously some people might feel objectified being chatted up by a complete stranger. But then some people might be really flattered!

Also, remember that there are hundreds of reasons why some might give not give you their number or be chatty back- some people are actually in relationships or aren't looking for them, for one.

As long as not going about this all 'Dapper Daughs' style, there's nothing wrong with it.

Congratulations again for facing your anxiety in such a big way.


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## coraline50 (Jan 8, 2015)

*Dapper Laughs, even


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## SmartCar (Nov 27, 2011)

hypnot1c said:


> -1 gave me her number, but it looks suspect to me.
> -Another girl I talked to for a while, and she gave me props for approaching. She said it rarely happens to her.
> - got completely blown out by two preppy chicks, it was pretty funny though
> - then there was two others where I walked away with nothing.
> ...


Woah:shock congrats:boogie:clap that must'a taken a lot of willpower, good'onya


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## MoonlitMadness (Mar 11, 2013)

While it is great that you are going out there and challenging your anxiety, is there not a way you can do this without hitting on random women? I don't mind getting hit on in a club (but not if the guy is doing it to many others in the same club too), but when someone approaches me randomly when I'm just trying to mind my own business, I find it really creepy. 

Maybe you should approach girls AND guys in like a grocery store or something. If a guy approached me and kept talking to me when I blatantly just wanted to get away from him - especially considering I have a bf - I would probably want to call the police at some point.


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## MoonlitMadness (Mar 11, 2013)

knightofdespair said:


> And this is why that kind of approach is always a bad idea. They would have come up to you if they wanted to talk. Them coming somewhere and intentionally being away means they wanted to be away. If you go to a party or a friends house and someone passes out some beers and the opportunity comes up, sure why not say hi but just randomly going up to people will always start things out on a bad foot. What kind of desperate woman is going to feel good about calling up some guy that just wandered out of the blue like a homeless person or a salesman? If they're hot and single, they already got 5 interested friends I'm sure, who already know this person and have established some kind of connection with them. TBH if you did this enough, decent chance of one of them even pulling out the mace.


I agree. It's best to meet people through friends or when you are going out and are open to meeting people. I've had guys approach me when I've been out in town and one of them followed me like half way home asking me the same questions "Do you go to college? What's your name?" etc.. I told him to leave me alone but he wouldn't. I have got this A LOT. I would not want to date a guy who approaches women that way. There's nothing wrong with being friendly, but I think women are more likely to feel safe in an environment when they are with their friends, like at a house party or something. Do not approach a woman who is by herself. She will think you are about to mug her!


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## lilyamongthorns (Aug 13, 2012)

So very proud of you!:clap:clap:clap


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## Teflondon (Dec 5, 2014)

This is just creepy. This is the kind of behaviour that puts women off men to begin with. The goal is not to be "one of those guys" - the goal is to be you.


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## ikrisskross (May 19, 2014)

I think this was a great read. Congrats to you man! I don't see how you guys could view this as negative. He even clearly stated in the OP.


> I really wasn't approaching to get numbers or dates, I just wanted to look the fear in the eye and squash it.


This was something that I learned from my therapist and he's actually on to something. Getting over that fear of approaching people is difficult, but to quite the contrary, a lot of people appreciate the effort. This is something I want to do for my new year's resolution of: *putting myself in uncomfortable situations*. You just have to try and some things take more practice than others.

P.S. Don't listen to the people saying you're being creepy, there's nothing creepy about talking to people. Just extremely difficult.


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