# Finding Someone Special



## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

I find it a little bit amusing and disheartening that it's now 2015. I'm lost right now unable to find a promising direction and I feel numb inside at times. 

Original Post:

"During the rest of college and life in general, I want to find a girl that I can have a mutual connection with. But the connection I am looking for goes beyond friendship and into a realm I've never ventured in. To achieve my goal, I will have to overcome certain factors that weigh down on my self-confidence and shackle me whilst opportunities brisk past never to return. 

I'm not really sure how I'm going to succeed. I've been thinking of developing self-confidence by walking up to girls and attempting to start a conversation (in the few moments I have between class and schoolwork). But that is easier said than done for me. I guess that's why I'm here to try to document my attempt in hopes that such an action could help me. 

However, recently, I've focused more on women that I already had as my acquaintances. I managed to get phone numbers and even went out for a meeting with one of them. But to put it shortly, none of those worked out. I might have a new opportunity, but it's someone who explicitly said that they were looking for platonic relationships. I need to focus on strangers again, but I've noticed that I'm afraid to approach because of what others would think of me. It's irrational to think that they'd care, but it's stopped me a number of times."


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## tieffers (Jan 26, 2013)

Good luck, man! Keep us posted.


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## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

tieffers said:


> Good luck, man! Keep us posted.


Thank you, I'm going to need it.

Feb. 13, 2013
Agenda: Initiate conversation with a random girl I don't know
Bonus: Invite that person to get lunch
Result: Failure. I couldn't find the courage this time, even though I had ample opportunity. 

I'm going to try again tomorrow.


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

how long do you have left? i might share the same goal but i only have 7 months left and the situation here is pretty hopeless


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## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

monotonous said:


> how long do you have left? i might share the same goal but i only have 7 months left and the situation here is pretty hopeless


I have till early May and then I have summer break. But after that I still have three more years in college, so I can always make it a goal for the next six semesters. Remember the goal right now is to at least attempt to find someone, and who knows during this process we might find that person.


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## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

Feb. 14, 2013
Agenda: Initiate conversation with a random girl I don't know
Bonus: Invite that person to get lunch
Result: Failure

It's probably going to take a couple of days before I can muster up the courage. Too bad I'm on the weekend now. I'll have to wait till Monday to try again. But today I did meet a girl I didn't know and had a conversation with her, but she was the one that initiated. She was nearby when I was talking to a friend and decided to ask us a question, which lead to a whole conversation.


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## IdontMind (Dec 31, 2011)

Good for you man, why cant you do it on the weekend?

I know I should do something like this. Not really sure why I don't. Afraid of the blank perhaps.


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## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

IdontMind said:


> Good for you man, why cant you do it on the weekend?
> 
> I know I should do something like this. Not really sure why I don't. Afraid of the blank perhaps.


Since I commute, I'm home on the weekends (doing a lot of schoolwork). Technically, I have a class on friday too (only for about 4-5 more week, though), but it's cancelled this week.


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## stubbyfinger (Feb 21, 2013)

WhistleRoot said:


> Feb. 14, 2013
> Agenda: Initiate conversation with a random girl I don't know
> Bonus: Invite that person to get lunch
> Result: Failure
> ...


Hey, a girl actually approached you man! I'd count that as a success of some sort at least


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## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

stubbyfinger said:


> Hey, a girl actually approached you man! I'd count that as a success of some sort at least


Yeah, I guess you're right. 

Feb. 18-19
Failed

Feb. 20
Too busy with schoolwork to try

Near future~
So far I've failed every attempt, but I know I can succeed. If I could do it once last semester, then I can do it again. Persistence and a carefree, good mood is imperative to my success. And so it continues...


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## MikeinNirvana (Dec 2, 2012)

Try to find a buddy first so he could help you out...
sometimes when you have a friend next to you, it's much better.


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## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

MikeinNirvana said:


> Try to find a buddy first so he could help you out...
> sometimes when you have a friend next to you, it's much better.


Definitely. I've been on the lookout for one.

Feb. 21
Failure

Feb. 22
Success?
I'm not sure if I can count what happened today. I mean, I did meet two random girls who I didn't know before, but the circumstances feel as if it was too easy. What happened was that for my only class today, we had a group of upperclassmen come in and talk about the different majors available to us at our school. After they finished presenting, I walked up to two particular girls who talked about the major which I'm going to go into. I was excited to finally meet some people from my field, so that's why I was able to do it.


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## StNaive (Feb 21, 2013)

WhistleRoot said:


> Definitely. I've been on the lookout for one.
> 
> Feb. 21
> Failure
> ...


I would say that definitely counts as a success! 
It can be really helpful to have an initial common-ground when it comes to approaching people; you used that to your advantage, and it worked out for you, so maybe that'll help in the future as well?

Anyway, good job!


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## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

StNaive said:


> I would say that definitely counts as a success!
> It can be really helpful to have an initial common-ground when it comes to approaching people; you used that to your advantage, and it worked out for you, so maybe that'll help in the future as well?
> 
> Anyway, good job!


I think it will! I'll be trying more approaches again on either Monday or Tuesday.


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## HeyJuliet (Feb 22, 2013)

This is awesome. Good luck! I'm cheering for you!


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## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

HeyJuliet said:


> This is awesome. Good luck! I'm cheering for you!


Thank you! 

Feb. 25-26
Too busy with schoolwork


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## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

Life has made it difficult to post, but I'll try again.

Here are some updates:

• I now have a smartphone.
• I completed two internships over the summer and thus gained experience in interaction on a professional level. 
• I started taking Absorica for my acne and am seeing an improvement. The monthly blood tests (I've only taken two so far) have given me new life experiences and have made me stronger.
• I told a random beautiful girl that she was gorgeous last month.
• I recently did a performance piece in front of one of my college classes.


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## lesedwards (Oct 7, 2013)

Agenda: Initiate conversation with a random girl I don't know
*repeat till you find someone you're genuinely interested in THEN take her out for lunch.
Keep meeting new girls


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## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

lesedwards said:


> Agenda: Initiate conversation with a random girl I don't know
> *repeat till you find someone you're genuinely interested in THEN take her out for lunch.
> Keep meeting new girls


Exactly. I'm going to start back up tomorrow. I'm also going to ask some other girls who I already know.


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## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

November 4, 2013

Had Planned: Ask two girls who I knew to lunch
Outcome: Success :clap

I even got the second one's phone number! That's the second in the past five days. I think these lunch dates are or will be under "just as friends," but I'm going to use them to practice opening up my outgoing side.


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## SHYartist13 (May 23, 2013)

I just want to mention that I like your idea of posting a log of how you are doing with your goals with talking and asking others out. I hope I can use your idea for me.

I hope you continue to have good positive feedback and encouragement from others as you progress. Keep it up.


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## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

SHYartist13 said:


> I just want to mention that I like your idea of posting a log of how you are doing with your goals with talking and asking others out. I hope I can use your idea for me.
> 
> I hope you continue to have good positive feedback and encouragement from others as you progress. Keep it up.


Thanks for the kind words. I really appreciate it and I hope this works for you.


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## LostKat (Dec 7, 2013)

WhistleRoot said:


> During the rest of college and life in general, I want to find a girl that I can have a mutual connection with. But the connection I am looking for goes beyond friendship and into a realm I've never ventured in. To achieve my goal, I will have to overcome certain factors that weigh down on my self-confidence and shackle me whilst opportunities brisk past never to return.
> 
> I'm not really sure how I'm going to succeed. I've been thinking of developing self-confidence by walking up to girls and attempting to start a conversation (in the few moments I have between class and schoolwork). But that is easier said than done for me. I guess that's why I'm here to try to document my attempt in hopes that such an action could help me.
> 
> However, recently, I've focused more on women that I already had as my acquaintances. I managed to get phone numbers and even went out for a meeting with one of them. But to put it shortly, none of those worked out. I might have a new opportunity, but it's someone who explicitly said that they were looking for platonic relationships. I need to focus on strangers again, but I've noticed that I'm afraid to approach because of what others would think of me. It's irrational to think that they'd care, but it's stopped me a number of times.


I think that sounds very sweet and I do hope that one day it works for you. You never know a days where you may meet that person. I agree with you on wanting to be with you have a connection with. I myself am afraid that wont truely ever happen for me. It is hard to find that one person you feel you can connect with. But I do wish you the best of luck.


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## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

LostKat said:


> I think that sounds very sweet and I do hope that one day it works for you. You never know a days where you may meet that person. I agree with you on wanting to be with you have a connection with. I myself am afraid that wont truely ever happen for me. It is hard to find that one person you feel you can connect with. But I do wish you the best of luck.


Thank you! I wish you the same!


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## Mr Mister (Dec 18, 2013)

I like your attitude and the fact you didn't give up. Congratulations on you success!

What's the next step?


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## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

Thank you! Right now I'm waiting for the spring semester to start. When it does, I'll try to get to know some new people in my classes. I'll also be looking up the available student organizations and see if I like any of them.


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## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

Back in September, I almost got into a long distance relationship with some random girl in North Carolina. But as our relationship progressed, I began realizing how different her morals were compared to mine. It also got to a point where I didn't know if I could believe what she was saying. I was stuck in a situation where if I put trust in her words then it would mean that she has serious issues overcoming past events. I broke contact with her when it got too insane for me to handle, but recently I've tried to reconnect again to no avail. I miss the feeling of being appreciated and viewed as more than just a friend but a potential partner.


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## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

WhistleRoot said:


> Back in September, I almost got into a long distance relationship with some random girl in North Carolina. But as our relationship progressed, I began realizing how different her morals were compared to mine. It also got to a point where I didn't know if I could believe what she was saying. I was stuck in a situation where if I put trust in her words then it would mean that she has serious issues overcoming past events. I broke contact with her when it got too insane for me to handle, but recently I've tried to reconnect again to no avail. I miss the feeling of being appreciated and viewed as more than just a friend but a potential partner.


Been there done that, more than once.


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## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

thatsher said:


> There was a reason why you didn't want to be with that person anymore. I know it's hard but keep reminding yourself of it. I always think like that: It's broken because it wasn't meant to be. There is someone else that will be a better match for you and maybe you're holding yourself back from meeting that person at some point in your life cause you still hold onto the girl that's already gone.


Well stated on your part; I guess at times I get afraid that there won't be anyone else. This was the first time that someone had shown interest in me (or in other words, reciprocated the interest I expressed of them) in five to six years.


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## WhistleRoot (Feb 13, 2013)

Ugh...I think I'm falling for a girl in one of my classes. What's weird is that it's a very similar situation that was with another girl last spring. That didn't work out, so I don't want this to happen. I'm so tired of chasing with no results. I purposely was quiet and minding my own business and yet she still started to ask questions that lead to a pretty open conversation about who we both were. I'm afraid that the more she talks to me or vice versa, the more I'll grow to like her. Even now, I love when she smiles.


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