# do you or have you ever been jealous of....



## DudeHere (Jul 10, 2008)

those who engage in or seem to get free,no strings attached permiscuous sex? like the guys who are always able to find some girl to band? or the guys who have found a way to master all the seduction material? I mean, maybe its my own warped sense of reality from either watching too much porn, or just not going out that much, various social places like parties,bars,clubs,etc. Or not having a feeling of belonging?

Or perhaps it is this sense of traditionalism I have, I mean sure, I would like to have someone to see on a regular basis, but I think girls are very ****ty nowadays as well.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

I guess I have. I've been growing up some, though. Being envious of everyone doesn't get you anywhere. 

I don't think women are anymore promiscuous than men today. 

You'd be surprised how easy it is to get laid... not that I ever do. The more you go out and open your eyes, the more you see.


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## SaigeJones (Mar 17, 2008)

I have no jealousy over it because its not something I would ever do (even if i could). I can't even begin to convey the emotional damage doing something like that would do to me.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

No, I'm not interested in random "banging." 

I had a stalker in high school that I could have easily had "action" with, but I guess it's not as important to me as it is to a lot of guys.


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## Xplash (Sep 28, 2005)

I am envious of the care free outgoing personality you need to have in order to get all these random girls. A couple of my friends got real good game, and they are just average looking but are full of personality and women love it!


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## Anti-Charisma (Nov 17, 2004)

Absolutely.

Very jealous.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

Actually, yeah. It's a bit weird to say because I'm actually not at all interested in doing anything like that, but I feel envious anyway because it's something I couldn't do even if I wanted. And for a lot of other people, it seems to be so easy. It just fits more into the general pattern of something being hard/impossible for me to do, and yet it's like second nature to others. The fact that I don't want it doesn't ameliorate the feeling of jealousy that much.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

No, I could have that if I wanted it. I don't want it. :no


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

^ well its easier for women to have that haha

im not jealous as much as i am envious. though i would rather have a partner than have endless tail from various women


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## Cured (Sep 13, 2005)

All I want is someone like Shauna :heart


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## ANCIENT (Aug 9, 2005)

..............


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## littlesongbird (Jan 20, 2008)

Sometimes. What I am jealous of is their freedom to just not give a ****. But yeah, emotionally that would screw me up.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

Eric Barnes said:


> All I want is someone like Shauna :heart


 :squeeze


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## DudeHere (Jul 10, 2008)

The whole thing, attraction, game, sex,action,looks,status/power, is whats always alluded me it feels like,hence why I tend to hate those who have all that.

What does it mean to be full of personality, I have an idea, and moments where I have had that, what does one do to aquire that?


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Not jealous. Don't want random encounters.


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## Snickersnack (Jun 21, 2008)

DudeHere said:


> I mean, maybe its my own warped sense of reality from either watching too much porn


That could be it-porn can be misleading. The fields of plumbing, pizza delivery, and door-to-door vacuum cleaner sales are nowhere near as exciting or glamorous in real life as the adult film industry presents them.

I probably wouldn't mind a little indiscriminate "action", myself, at least to see if it lives up to the hype-but I'm sure real relationships are better. I really have no experience to go on either way.


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## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

DudeHere said:


> those who engage in or seem to get free,no strings attached permiscuous sex? like the guys who are always able to find some girl to band? or the guys who have found a way to master all the seduction material? I mean, maybe its my own warped sense of reality from either watching too much porn, or just not going out that much, various social places like parties,bars,clubs,etc. Or not having a feeling of belonging?
> 
> Or perhaps it is this sense of traditionalism I have, I mean sure, I would like to have someone to see on a regular basis, but *I think girls are very ****ty nowadays *as well.


...My guess is that this traditional view may contribute to your being stuck where you are.

Apart from the fact that being able to appreciate different view points will very simply improve your relationships ...similar to this, if your objective is to get more action with women and you are clearly not one of those "hunter types", then I'd change my out look.

i.e. why use the term "****ty"? ...perhaps in a sense you're right :con :stu ...but if your general view is just this fixed traditional sex role stereotypes are how it is...ie: the male is "the hunter" and the female "the hunted"

...well, how is that working for you? -I'd be frustrated too if I didn't fit what I was "supposed" to be like as a woman.

So basically what I'm saying is that, if you do in fact have fixed views -it's hard to tell just from your one post- but I'd work on opening my mind towards different view points. ...Then perhaps you'll open the door and give yourself enough room to not have to fit that male stereotype -you may actually end up fitting into such a role, ironically, because of opening your mind up.


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## Zen Mechanics (Aug 3, 2007)

one night stands/casual relationships are not fulfilling at all compared to having a girlfriend. i've had offers to go back to girls places before on my own or with a mate but it's really not worth it cos sex is pretty uninteresting if it's with someone you don't really care about. i just go home and beat off and save on the taxi fare (and the inevitable awkwardness of the morning after).


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## DudeHere (Jul 10, 2008)

hmm, good point about accepting different points of view, which in some ways, has been a problem for me.

Part of my problem, or the things bothering me, is my role as a man, and figuring it out, while yet others seem so far ahead of me. 

I am not looking at things as the man is the hunter,etc, although, I have read lots about that whole gender role thing as well.

****ty, in that they start sleeping around at an early age, ****ty in that they jump from one guy to the next, with no consideration or feelings and not being in a relationship.

Yeah, I do feel frustrated in how I am or am not supposed to be.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Shauna The Dead said:


> No, I could have that if I wanted it. I don't want it. :no


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## roswell (Feb 4, 2006)

Nope, that's really not anything I'm looking for. The emotional connection is what I really wish I could have. Someone I could talk to and trust. The downside to this path is it's a lot harder to find..


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Nope.....it looks appealing, but that's all it is. 
I don't think I could handle the emotional upheaval - the worry of Save The Dolphins, the worry of the girl liking me, the thought that I could have caused a baby, but most of all - the guilt.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

yes


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## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

DudeHere said:


> hmm, good point about accepting different points of view, which in some ways, has been a problem for me.
> 
> Part of my problem, or the things bothering me, is my role as a man, and figuring it out, while yet others seem so far ahead of me.
> 
> ...


...That's interesting.

I've read that men are confused nowadays.

Still, I think that men aren't supposed to be any one particular way. That a man (and woman) are to figure out who they are as an individual.

I'm not saying that there are no differences between men and women. but I am saying that there are just different types of men and different types of women. There needs to be for the world to work.

...I wouldn't judge too quickly about those "Far ahead of me". that may just be how it looks.

I reckon more important is that you're actually aware of some confusion and actually bothering to ask yourself the question: "Who am I as a man? What is the real nature of my sexuality?"

...this proves that at least your engaged in figuring it out. Those who don't bother figuring it out, including the natural confusion that comes with this, don't make themselves on their own terms.

So even if it appears that they know who they are, they may in fact simply be following the lead of others or reacting to how others behave and trying to fit in.

...then when they get to 40 or whatever, they have a massive mid life crisis -cos they never really really thought about what they're about as a man.


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## Snickersnack (Jun 21, 2008)

RubyTuesday said:


> ...I wouldn't judge too quickly about those "Far ahead of me". that may just be how it looks.
> 
> I reckon more important is that you're actually aware of some confusion and actually bothering to ask yourself the question: "Who am I as a man? What is the real nature of my sexuality?"
> 
> ...


Interesting-and encouraging, at least. Speaking for myself, I assume other men have advanced to this ridiculous level ahead of me, and maybe they haven't, at least not to the degree I think they have. There's just so many variables in relationships-I'd like it to me a little more clear-cut, but I guess that's a pretty typical thing to wish for.

I like the idea that it's okay to be "yourself" in a relationship. That sounds neat. I just don't know if anyone else is okay with it.


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## mountain5 (May 22, 2008)

In real life, almost all the guys I know have had just one or two steady girlfriends, or are perpetually single like I am. Of course, I haven't known any "suave" guys since I was in high school...but the whole pickup/hookup culture is something I've only seen on TV. I barely have any female friends but it's about the same for them.

To be frank I wouldn't mind a one-night stand experience, but given that just the thought of walking into a bar or club alone frightens me to death that's probably a remote possibility at best. So for me it's not really a choice, but it doesn't eat me alive either. I just don't want to have a mid-life crisis 20 years from now and screw up my life or my family.

Then there's the fact that I'd feel like a big hypocrite for pursuing uninhibited women, then expecting my long-term romantic partner to appreciate my introverted, moody nature.


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## Solitario (Aug 28, 2008)

I am jealous of guys who can easily charm women. I'm am *not* a hater, however. I admire those guys and want to be like them.

*-Solitario-*


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## DudeHere (Jul 10, 2008)

how does one get charm? how is it learned? I feel like Im not a charmer as much as I am an informer, as in informing people of there options,which is what I mostly do through my job.

I am perpetually single, or I guess hell,love shy, as some may put it.

Also, all this time, I could have been improving myself,and I haven't been, I have been either working,at the computer,or wasting time through drinking or trying to take my mind off of things. I worry alot about,well, being out of the "gene pool", if that makese sense.

I don't even want random encounters,I want a long term partner.


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## brealair (Aug 31, 2008)

yes, very jealous


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## Solitario (Aug 28, 2008)

I have no idea how guys charm women. If it helps, most guys can't instantly charm women. Only a select few have this ability and I think it is their natural personality. They're confident funny guys. It's probably not something that can be learned by most people. I dunno, though maybe it can be learned via that show "The Pick Up Artist". Some of those guys really improved after a few shows.

*-Solitario-*


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## Snickersnack (Jun 21, 2008)

Solitario said:


> I have no idea how guys charm women. If it helps, most guys can't instantly charm women. Only a select few have this ability and I think it is their natural personality. They're confident funny guys. It's probably not something that can be learned by most people. I dunno, though maybe it can be learned via that show "The Pick Up Artist". Some of those guys really improved after a few shows.
> 
> *-Solitario-*


I haven't seen _The Pick Up Artist_, but if it helps anyone become more confident, that's great. I'm not even sure I would want to be a classical pick up artist type, though-most of the girls I like are nerdy artists or hippies who wear deodorant, so I have no idea what they're into or find sexy. Sometimes these kinds of dames seem really open about the kinds of guys they date, although they probably like them more spontaneous and fun than I am. I'm fun-sure I am!-but more of a "thinker" than a "doer". I'd rather play board games or Halo than go rock climbing or whitewater rafting.


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

I don't really think about it. It's not really that big a deal. If these girls were presented to me on a silver platter, I'd engage in promiscuous sex. But, they're not, so I don't. It doesn't seem worth the effort. Masturbation is much more cost-effective. lol


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

i'm jealous because i wish i had that kind of confidence that girls who can hook up with guys have.

as for random encounters.. maybe this is a bad thing, but i strongly believe i will never fall in love or someone will love me so having emotionless sex isn't a bad thing for me since it's the best i'll get.
i haven't tried it yet though. and i guess i probably could if i really tried but it would have to depend on the guy (more in terms of trust, it doesn't have much to do with attractiveness).


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## DudeHere (Jul 10, 2008)

I like hippy/artist/"hipster"/goth/rock chicks, I just can't seem to find any...


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## Snickersnack (Jun 21, 2008)

DudeHere said:


> I like hippy/artist/"hipster"/goth/rock chicks, I just can't seem to find any...


Heck yeah. I think most of them are taken, because they often have tons of available male friends. 'Tis my theory, anyway.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

DudeHere said:


> I like hippy/artist/"hipster"/goth/rock chicks, I just can't seem to find any...


go to concerts and you'll see hipsters everywhere. they begin annoy me in those environments actually.


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## DudeHere (Jul 10, 2008)

im picky about what shows i go to,besides,if i go and think i know what im talking about,they'll pick up on it. this is why i hate the idea of music "scenes".


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## Snickersnack (Jun 21, 2008)

nothing to fear said:


> DudeHere said:
> 
> 
> > I like hippy/artist/"hipster"/goth/rock chicks, I just can't seem to find any...
> ...


Yeah, hipsters can be pretty obnoxious in the smugness. None of the chicks at concerts would settle for me, anyway. Too dull. I'm really too dull for anyone, though, so there you are. I'm working my way up to Mayor of Dullsville, so I can gain power over thousands of my fellow dullards. Not that I would do anything exciting with my new found authority, of course.


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## mountain5 (May 22, 2008)

Snickersnack said:


> Yeah, hipsters can be pretty obnoxious in the smugness. None of the chicks at concerts would settle for me, anyway. Too dull. I'm really too dull for anyone, though, so there you are. I'm working my way up to Mayor of Dullsville, so I can gain power over thousands of my fellow dullards. Not that I would do anything exciting with my new found authority, of course.


Well said, well said.


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