# For those who are unemployed



## Fireflylight (Sep 2, 2004)

How long have you been out of work due to social anxiety, depression, or whatever. 

I quit my job last July and have been unemployed since.


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## davemason2k (Feb 11, 2005)

About 6 months. I quit my last job because I was having huge panic attacks and was very paranoid. I worked 2nd shift at a grocery store in the produce section. It was hell because they had a fast food type of place right next to the produce section, so all the teenager employers would hang out there and chit chat while I was working. Whenever I saw a group of people I assummed they were talking about me. It got to the point where I could barely look up. Just a real bad situation! uhhhhh, I'm trying to get a new job at a warehouse 1st shift. I pray to god it's an easier situation to deal with. How about you? Where did you work last and why did you quit?


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## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

A long time.


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## mindfulgirl (May 7, 2007)

I'm currently working now (although my employer is letting me work at home while I work out my SA), but the last time I was unemployed for seven months while I was figuring out what was wrong with me, going to therapy and being on meds. I wish I could kick SA's @$$!!! :mum


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## bent (Aug 4, 2005)

over a year now. i've been trying to find a basic job to just keep me going but apparently i'm not even worthy of serving donuts.


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## Billygruff (Feb 24, 2007)

its been 4 months now. My family is deeply disappointed and its messing things up for everyone. Especially when you have loads of relatives who need to visit or you them every week or so. Im so embarassed and feel trapped everyday i wake up. sighhhhh :fall


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## Mehitabel (Oct 13, 2006)

Since mid June last year. I just realized yesterday that I've almost been a hermit for an entire year. I find it funny that these are supposed to be the best years of your life. People look back to when they were 18 fondly. But the entire time I've been 18, my life has been total crap.


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## fraidycat (Oct 29, 2004)

i've been unemployed since july, but did so to take the rest of 2006 to travel and clear my head. I have been actively looking since feb and i have to agree with everyone, it hasn't been too fun especially since it's close to hitting the one year mark. I specifically took time off to figure out ways to deal with this better so that I can stop missing out and feeling like i'm half alive, ironically i feel like im missing out more than any other time now. At least back then I was working towards something now aside from personal improvement with sa. I don't know what to work towards professionally/academically now. I'm not ready or motivated to get myself together. i'm sick of all this stopping and going..sorry guys..feeling kinda bleh right now...

mindfulgirl, just wondering..when you took your 7 mnths off did it help you at all? The time you have now to work w/the sa is that helping? I almost think it might just be better to numb feelings that things need to be worked on and take whtever meds (preferrably benzos) to get through. i'm not sure how much longer i can stand feeling like life is passing on by.


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## davemason2k (Feb 11, 2005)

fraidycat, kind of the way I'm feeling now. Seems like the past 5 years have gone by in a instant and all I did was worry worry, take time off, got back to worrying. I'm starting a new job soon and I have no idea what to expect. Seems like no matter how hard I try to fit in I always end up being the outcast. I agree, somedays I think being numb on meds is better than what I'm going through now. COnstant anxiety is starting to wear me down.


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## mindfulgirl (May 7, 2007)

*Re: re: For those who are unemployed*



fraidycat said:


> mindfulgirl, just wondering..when you took your 7 mnths off did it help you at all? The time you have now to work w/the sa is that helping? I almost think it might just be better to numb feelings that things need to be worked on and take whtever meds (preferrably benzos) to get through. i'm not sure how much longer i can stand feeling like life is passing on by.


The time I took off helped me in terms of realizing what was wrong with me. I quit before I knew because I was having all these symptoms and couldn't handle working. My doctor tested me for all of these physical illnesses before she concluded that it was SA. It was easier to try and recover while not having to work full time. It was definitely difficult and I wasn't recovered until I started working again and was at that job for about a year. It was a pretty frustrating situation for me.

The time I'm taking right now - so far I don't feel any different. My doctor and therapist have suggested I see a psychiatrist for an assessment so they can figure out what meds would work better for me because I don't feel like the Paxil is doing anything. And I am trying to challenge myself beyond my comfort zone, but as I'm sure you know, it is so hard.

I completely understand how you're feeling. It's so frustrating to be dealing with this illness that you can't control. I'm hoping when I see this psychiatrist that they can figure out what I can do or take to alleviate the anxious symptoms I experience on a regular basis. You can always PM me if you want to talk more, and please, add me as a friend. I'd love to chat and get to know you more.

How are you dealing with things now? Are you recovered, or are you still having a rough time? What kind of work are you looking for? I'm here for you. :squeeze


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## fraidycat (Oct 29, 2004)

dave, :hug i heard about you starting your new job soon. as scary as that is try to push through. Being unemployed for too long sucks. If you need to, try meds. I'm currently on lexapro and have klonopin around as needed. The lexapro helps with depression but does nothing for anxiety. For me benzos helps with anxiety but there's risk of addiction and ineffectiveness/strong withdrawal symp with increase usage so I try to limit how much I take. Though I really am at the point where I don't want to think or analyze this **** anymore and just go with the flow or meds and have more moments like this :yay ..haha

mindfulgirl, thanks for the hug and support. I definitely like to get to know you more and talk to someone who can relate. Feel free to add me on as a friend too! I'm going to pm you later. I wanted to mention the above info about meds to you too since it seems like you're experimenting to find what works for you. How long have you been on paxil? Hmm..you just reminded me I should go in for a total check up too to make sure nothing physically wrong with me. I have a hard time breathing...maybe it's something else.


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

I got permanently laid off about a year ago and haven't bothered to get another job yet. I dread it :sigh I could never find another decent job around here, where I didnt have to deal with people...so I just havent tried. I got to draw unemployment until February of this year though. That was nice. But now it's over 
I wish my doll business would start going really well so I could just make a living doing that. That would be so nice. :sigh


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## Billygruff (Feb 24, 2007)

A QUESTION: What do you guys do when in unemployment?

For me wake up pretty late. I spend a combined total of less than an 1 hour throughout the day washing dishes, the occasional laundry, make a simple meal, then i layabout the rest of the day. TV, internet and reading where im lying down alot or sitting at the computer. I have my dad for company(haha a cruel joke as he really resents me these days, hes conservative too and wishes id do something about my life) and my sis is home on job vacation as shes a tutor at a college and its the college break at the mo. One good thing is we have a new kitten and shes very playful. Cute as hell! This has been going on for 4 months now.

One thing that really scares me is i think ive rotted in the brain, my very limited social skills have shrinked more and more, and ive just become sooo messed up. Im more forgetful, my brain doesnt function too good too. My speech and conversation is disjointed and weird. Even my voice has changed, sometimes a high pitched and other times just as weird. Its scary and feeling so trapped.

Is there anybody out there in Canada, Australia or New Zealand willing to participate in a marriage of convenience? Id really like to run away on a crazy whirl wind romance, Im half-serious, i could get a job and take care of the both of us and be a happy normal sa couple. I could fly up to your place for a simple pleasant wedding and go with the flow.... Anyone?


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## billy (Feb 15, 2006)

Yeah, Billygruff, you may be like me. I'm very susceptible to brain damage when I'm totally isolated, even for very short periods of time like a couple of days. My brain just cannot handle it and it breaks down. I reckon if I spent a few months out in the bush with no one to talk to I'd become really freaky.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

...


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## emptybottle (Jan 3, 2005)

bent said:


> over a year now. i've been trying to find a basic job to just keep me going but apparently i'm not even worthy of serving donuts.


Hah, me neither. I applied for a job at a donut place last summer and didn't get it (!). I'm not worthy of serving coffee either, as I've recently found out. I am an abomination.

I've never had a real job, I'm ashamed to admit.


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## bent (Aug 4, 2005)

yeah...maybe I'm being too unrealistic and aiming too high...should I perhaps apply to be the donut house toilet scrubber first??? what do we have to do to attain our lofty goal of eventually being allowed to serve donuts for the lowest possible wage that anyone is legally allowed to pay us for work????


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## MissChocolateMilkshake (Jul 25, 2004)

Well I am going to look for jobs tomorrow. I want to look at temp agencies, but I been to one of them recently. The young lady at the desk was kind of rude, saying I didnt have any experience. So I dont think I will be trying them. So I guess I will have to look at retail and fast food joints. But I dont have any good References at all.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

I've been unemployed since mid April. I'm pretty bored. I really want to volunteer this Summer, hopefully. I need some volunteer experience for Social Work.


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## heckyll (Mar 27, 2006)

I've never held a steady job!

I have actually been homeless off and on, due to family tensions.

Ironically, it makes me less inclined to work, now that I am comfortable to a large degree with sleeping outside!


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## emptybottle (Jan 3, 2005)

bent said:


> yeah...maybe I'm being too unrealistic and aiming too high...should I perhaps apply to be the donut house toilet scrubber first??? what do we have to do to attain our lofty goal of eventually being allowed to serve donuts for the lowest possible wage that anyone is legally allowed to pay us for work????


haha, my mom says I should perhaps start at McDonalds or an ice cream parlor first (which only seem to hire people 7 years younger than me). And then that could be my stepping stone toward the donut server gig. You know, after I gain the experience :/

Looking for a first job shouldn't be this difficult. I hate myself for delaying it for this long... To make me feel more like scum, my 18-year-old sister took all of ten minutes to look for and get her first job this summer, as a teacher's assistant. It pays to have friends who can help you find one.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

2004. :cry 

I graduated from college in June 2006. I completed a post-bachelor's paralegal program in April 2007. I still have no job. Any job I could get would just prove that I wasted my time educating myself (high school valedictorian, summa cum laude college graduate, failure at finding a job suitable to my potential).


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## pjam376 (Jun 11, 2007)

It's been a couple of weeks for me now. But it's an ongoing cycle. I'll work on contracts or projects for 6 months, then either the contract and project ends or they don't renew my contract because in all honesty, many times nobody really knows me. I go in, do my work, go home and rarely network. Makes it easy for somebody to dump a contractor they don't know.

So it's been a cycle of work for 6 months, off for 6 months. While it might sound cool, the fact is, unlike some on this board, if I'm not working i get a lot more depressed. 
I did hold one job for like 4 years. It was cool cause the boss new I was quiet but I did my job well. Well a new company bought out my company, new management came in and I was laid off. Since that time, it's been rough.

It took me over a year to find a comparable paying job after that and in that time frame, I spent all my savings to pay bills and to support my family.

Then a few months later, contract finished, not renewed, out of work for another six months. Repeat cycle.

The truth is, i can't afford to be out of work. I have bills to pay and a family to support. I've contacted all the people I sort of know or worked with in the past. I'm not friends with them but they sort of know me and right now, that list is exhausted....

This weekend was tough because I didn't want to leave my apartment. My wife didn't like seeing my like this, but the problem for me is, I must come off as an idiot in interviews. I know my stuff but half the time my mind goes blank or I explain it in a way that doesn't sound professional I guess.

So I don't know. If I could afford to take time off I would, but the fact is, ever since I was laid off about 4 years ago, I can't seem to get back on my feet. I mean I finally sort of catch up with my bills that fell behind only to find myself out of a job for six months again and it doesn't lead to me being able to save money so I can support myself without a job.

If i held a job for about 2 years, I probably could get through 6 months cause I was caught up, paid my bills on time, and had some savings. That's how I lasted for about a year before. 

But I don't have that luxury anymore cause the cycle is, work for a few months and hope to make enough to catch up, and then fall behind again cause I"m out of work.

They say the IT market is hiring like crazy, and that only makes matters worse when my email remains quiet, my phone doesn't ring, except for recruiters who I rarely hear anything back from anyway. NOt a good cycle to be in and I don't know.

Another month like this and my wife will be gone and I'll be on the street begging for a quarter. Don't want that to happen, but unless I get a job in the next few weeks, I see no hope at the end of the tunnel. In fact, i don't even see the tunnel anymore. I'm so far deep, i can't see any way out.


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## bent (Aug 4, 2005)

^^I hope it works out for you. You shouldn't let the fact that you haven't found anything yet make you feel any worse though (other than not having money which sucks) because I have heard of lots of people with advanced degrees in CS from top schools being unable to find anything.


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## pjam376 (Jun 11, 2007)

I think what also makes matters worse is knowing other people who never seem to be out of a job, at least not by choice.

This one person I used to work with, his job was being outsourced or cut and he had like a month left. Well low and behold, two weeks later the guy had like two great job offers. He accepted the one and moved on but I remember thinking at that time I've never been in a situation like that.

I've had recruiters contact me, but I've never had a few job offers to pick from. I usually get down to the point where I'm forced to accept a job I might not think is great or even like that much, but I need the money. Other times I'm out of work for 6+ months and take the first IT job that comes along. And it usually is contracts which stinks in the long run when you have SA.


A girl my wife works with recently graduated college. She had like two interviews at this one job and got the job. It was like her first place she interviewed at. She did know a friend from college who worked there, so I'm sure that helped, but I've been interviewed like 10 times by one place before and still didn't get the job. Other people, with no real experience, interview once or twice and are hired. 

For me, I don't think I'm as bad as some people who want to lock themselves inside all the time or freak out in public all the time, but I've had rooms spin around in my head while at an interview before. I don't know sometimes I get tired of being the one who does all the research, knows everything about a company, even more than some of it's workers, studies as much as I can, keeps updating my skills, and in the end, somebody who knows less than I do and seems to not know anything about the company, is the one who gets the job. 

At times all the hard work I've done really seems to be a waste. I really don't know what I'm going to do right now. Like I said, I've exhausted all my possibilities that I know of. I've sent my resume everywhere and I'm out of ideas. I guess I'm on the edge of depression and lost hope.


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## Anxiety75 (Feb 10, 2004)

I'm in the same boat. I quit in late May because of my anxiety and stress.
I don't know if I will be able to work outside the home anymore. I want to work for someone at home.



Fireflylight said:


> How long have you been out of work due to social anxiety, depression, or whatever.
> 
> I quit my job last July and have been unemployed since.


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## Aurayon (Jul 23, 2007)

I'm in the process of going through job interviews ( :afr ), but have been unemployed for 6 months now. I really can't believe it, since I've been a workaholic since high school. I quit my last job because of workplace bullying. It wasn't like that in the beginning, because I hung out with co-workers and seemed to have a semi-social life :um . But I suppose after a while, they realized that I had SA. I was stressed out every day, paranoid about what my co-workers thought about me. It was really easy for them to mess around with my feelings. Even my managers were jerks. I couldn't take it anymore and I quit. I think my unemployment made my SA worse, because I didn't really have any interaction with people other than my boyfriend and couple other people. Yeah, being at home doing whatever you want is cool for a while, but then you start worrying about money. I wanted to travel, but couldn't afford to. Wish me luck with my interviews!


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

I've been looking for a job lately, and it sucks. I can barely handle the anxiety of _looking_ for a job, let alone the interview or actually working. Yes, I know it's pathetic. I feel kind of nauseous when I do anything related to finding a job. I have issues.

I've never had a real job; I've always worked under the table. I have a feeling this is going to prove to be a problem. :sigh


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## rusalka (Jan 12, 2004)

Fireflylight said:


> How long have you been out of work due to social anxiety, depression, or whatever.
> 
> I quit my job last July and have been unemployed since.


I've been out of work since March... But I just went on an interview, which I know went badly, and will have to try again asap....


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## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

I haven't worked since summer of last year, and I was working with my dad. I haven't worked a "real" job since about early 2006.


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