# Personality is appearance



## Corporeality (Sep 23, 2006)

I've come the conclusion that how you look _is_ who you are. People are not capable of assessing your personality as distinct from your physical appearance, and what they often mistakenly attribute as being qualities of "personality" in fact have more to do with your appearance:

An attractive person is "kind," an unattractive person is "obsequious;" Your non-talkative clear-skinned friends are "reserved" or "mysterious," while your chubby, acne-plagued friends exhibiting the same behavior are "bashful," "mousy" and "socially inept;" The sexy high school cheerleader who constantly acts out is "gregarious" and "vivacious," while the morbidly obese misfit girl doing the same thing is just "obnoxious" and "pathetic."

Your "personality" doesn't exist as separate from the way you look.

Why can't people understand this.


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## Nihlanth (Sep 1, 2004)

In my perspective, If I find anyone being disrespectful or lousy, it doesn't matter what they look like; I still think of them as obnoxious rude people that I dont want to even bother knowing personally. So, i've just proved that theory wrong in a way.

Although in general it can be true. People in general are shallow enough to overlook bad things about a person if that person has something that they want: (i.e. money, looks, sex, etc)


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

Corporeality said:


> An attractive person is "kind," an unattractive person is "obsequious;" Your non-talkative clear-skinned friends are "reserved" or "mysterious," while your chubby, acne-plagued friends exhibiting the same behavior are "bashful," "mousy" and "socially inept;" The sexy high school cheerleader who constantly acts out is "gregarious" and "vivacious," while the morbidly obese misfit girl doing the same thing is just "obnoxious" and "pathetic."


Wow, good point. I think this is true for the most part. It doesn't matter to people what signals you're *trying* to send, they are only concerned with how they interpret you.


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

This is true in some cases, but not all cases. 

I dress respectable, I gel my hair, I wash my face, brush my teeth and deodorize. If you see me walking down the street, the average person will assume I am successful in every aspect of life (not to be cocky, but that's the effort I put into my appearance)....yet I'm as much of a social misfit as the obese acne-plagued gamer wearing an unwashed t-shirt and holey sweat pants.


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## likewater (Aug 3, 2006)

its true but you only think those things when you don't know the person. when all you have is appearance to go on. not to mention it also works the other way. someone with a good personality can become more attractive.


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

They did a study on TV once where children thought that the prettier teacher was "nice" and "good" and the not so pretty teacher was just "ok" even though they both did the same thing. So there is some truth to that.

If a person is morbidly obese, it could reflect the person's personality that they don't have the drive to take care of themselves.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

Personality does not equal appearance.

I have known quite a few people who were physically unattractive but yet could (and often did/do) have anyone they went after. One in particular is a short, fat man approaching 60 who referrs to his current flings as the "husband du jour".


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## Goran (Dec 9, 2003)

> Your "personality" doesn't exist as separate from the way you look.


True but i still disagree with what you said before.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

Attractive people can get away with more and have a easier time developing a friendly outgoing personality. The way people treat you growing up greatly impacts what your personality is like.


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

PGVan said:


> This is true in some cases, but not all cases.
> 
> I dress respectable, I gel my hair, I wash my face, brush my teeth and deodorize. If you see me walking down the street, the average person will assume I am successful in every aspect of life (not to be cocky, but that's the effort I put into my appearance)....yet I'm as much of a social misfit as the obese acne-plagued gamer wearing an unwashed t-shirt and holey sweat pants.


hey! hey!

why did you have to throw 'gamer' in there!? you described a bum, not a gamer.

Ive also been givin a persona of a guy that gets alot of women by guys like at work and school, which really isn't true. Mabye the player is hiding inside of me. :stu :b


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

This is essentially true, but its significance applies mostly to first impressions. If you "look like" a nice person, but turn out to be a turd, your turdness doesn't go away. Now people may put up with it more readily....

If you're less attractive but your behavior is pleasant and engaging, most people will respond to the behavior. Those who don't respond to good behavior deserve the turds they associate with.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

Corporeality said:


> I've come the conclusion that how you look _is_ who you are. People are not capable of assessing your personality as distinct from your physical appearance, and what they often mistakenly attribute as being qualities of "personality" in fact have more to do with your appearance:
> 
> An attractive person is "kind," an unattractive person is "obsequious;" Your non-talkative clear-skinned friends are "reserved" or "mysterious," while your chubby, acne-plagued friends exhibiting the same behavior are "bashful," "mousy" and "socially inept;" The sexy high school cheerleader who constantly acts out is "gregarious" and "vivacious," while the morbidly obese misfit girl doing the same thing is just "obnoxious" and "pathetic."
> 
> ...


That's absolutely true. Been known for decades. What are you gonna do...


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

> The way people treat you growing up greatly impacts what your personality is like.


Yep. Also true. This is something that I think a lot of people don't understand or realize. Of course, how people treat you while growing up has a lot to do with how attractive you are. Me, I was always treated as a social leper. Guess what, I've turned into a social leper. Maybe in the next life I'll be beautiful.


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## sprinter (Nov 22, 2003)

There are a lot of fake personalities out there. I don't know what that has to do with all this but I just felt like saying that. :um Seems like people used to separate personality from character etc. but now it seems like personality is used to describe everything including moral behavior.


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## bright572 (Jan 22, 2006)

People process things visually. Some are touchy-feely, some are auditory, but the majority are visual thinkers.

Also it takes some time to get to know each other and properly assess someone's personality - with all the rushing around, judgements are made too quickly. There is a desire to be definitive; probably, the value that people ascribe even to their own opinions is less than their apparent importance. It's a learned skill to avoid snappy, book-cover judgements.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

I agree. If someone has a good personality that does make them more attractive.


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## Message (Sep 20, 2006)

I don't know... I saw every high school cheerleader as obnoxious... no matter what they looked like. 


This theory isn't true for me. No one has ever had the right impression of me from the get-go. And over time, as I've been told by many, getting to know me is nearly "unattainable".


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Corporeality said:


> I've come the conclusion that how you look _is_ who you are. People are not capable of assessing your personality as distinct from your physical appearance, and what they often mistakenly attribute as being qualities of "personality" in fact have more to do with your appearance:
> 
> An attractive person is "kind," an unattractive person is "obsequious;" Your non-talkative clear-skinned friends are "reserved" or "mysterious," while your chubby, acne-plagued friends exhibiting the same behavior are "bashful," "mousy" and "socially inept;" The sexy high school cheerleader who constantly acts out is "gregarious" and "vivacious," while the morbidly obese misfit girl doing the same thing is just "obnoxious" and "pathetic."
> 
> ...


Maybe true to some extent but I think it's a stretch. I can think of women right now in my head that are physically attractive yet their crappy personality makes them repulsive. And by crappy I mean superficial and cutting down of others and way too defensive.


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## Christian (Oct 5, 2006)

Well in my opinion the appearance is more animal because good looks essentially mean healthy looks, and that's what we want for our species. But the human mind is beyond that, to the point where we can fall in love with someone we may initially think ugly, but the ugliness disappears when we see the inner beauty. 

Last semester I had a 82 year-old professor for sociology. He talked a lot about our culture and the people and life in general during the course, and one of the things he came back to again and again was: "A lot of students, young people today are concerned with looking flashy and sexy and all that, but over time, you'll all come to realize that those things don't matter at all. The only thing that matters is what comes out of your mouth." Basically he was saying that you are not your looks. They may make you look hot, but later that won't matter. Your personality is what makes you, you.


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

I agree that you are not your looks, but people will always judge you by your looks at first. The way you dress sends a lot of messages to people about who you are. The way you present yourself, your body language etc.
I also think that your personality influences the way your face looks in many cases, although no studies have been done on this I don't think. Most thugs look like bad people. Most really nice people look like good people. I think it's more than just the way they dress. The way they think probably has some limited impact as well.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

I don't find this true at all.


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## Failure (Feb 4, 2007)

This is completly wrong in my opinion.

I'm not a vain person at all, but i have somthing to add here that may sound conceited but it is how it is.

Judging by my appearance you would think I'd have a girl and wouldn't expect me to be shy and most people do until they get to know how quiet and uninteresting i am. I'm in excellent shape work out 3x a week and can lift an impressive ammount of weight for my size. I've been told i have a rugged type handsome face by women before too.

But if you get to know me im more socially inept/avoidant/shy/untalkative then a 250 pound fat kid who eats twinkies all day and doesnt bathe.

While I don't get the comments about me being shy, a loser any more (at least people dont say it directly to me) i know thats what people are thinking, because i've heard people say that when they thought i wasnt around and when i used to have friends they'd tell me that people would say it. In highschool people would give me the "you're so quiet, is somthing the matter?" and all those little gems until about 11th or 12th grade when i started looking alot older all of a sudden. When i was in the military people would wonder why i was quiet and give me crap for it, but the guys there would try to help me get a girl instead of making fun of me for it usually. Didn't work though but they tried. 

At first people will expect you to act a certain way due to your appearance, but there are plenty people who's personalities dont match their appearance. 

I'm a physically attractive guy but i couldnt act social and get a girl beyond a 1 nighter if my life depended on it. Hell ive never had a relationship and the only girls ive slept with that i didnt have to pay for didnt speak english so it didnt matter if i couldnt talk worth a damn. Only girls in the US ive ever been with are escorts. Kind of depressing since i'd like somthing more.

I know guys who are completly unattractive, like maybe a 5/10 and get girls who are 8/10's or 9/10's since they are so outgoing and fun to be around. Words are more attractive to women sometimes. It may seem like women only go for good looking guys but they are usually outgoing and can talk smoothly too, so they have both.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Personality isn't appearance. 
Yeah, you may get a first impression based on looking at someone, but the way someone looks does not define their character.

In that case, I would be outgoing and possibly have a modeling career. lol


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

*Re: re: Personality is appearance*



Failure said:


> I know guys who are completly unattractive, like maybe a 5/10 and get girls who are 8/10's or 9/10's since they are so outgoing and fun to be around. Words are more attractive to women sometimes. It may seem like women only go for good looking guys but they are usually outgoing and can talk smoothly too, so they have both.


That's very true. For example, I'd rather have a Jack Black over a Brad Pitt any day! Looks aren't everything and I don't care how attractive someone is, if the personality is ugly, they physically become ugly in my eyes. Personality can either ruin or enhance someone's appearance.


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## stephanie-s (Jan 16, 2007)

Well its a known fact, that women look a great personality in a man, while men look at a woman's breasts, butt, legs and most of all - face.
It's totally true, though, that appearance makes us think what this or that person is like. If you see a gorgeous, blonde girl, tanned girl, you will probably think, that she's like Paris Hilton - with no brains. And if you see an unattractive person, then you think she/he is shy, non-social, lonely and so on... people have told me, that because I aint so good looking, that Im probably lonely with no friends... ah well they also tell me that I look sad so I probably am too. Sometimes they're so wrong, but sometimes they're also right.


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## Halcyon (Nov 24, 2003)

Corporeality said:


> Your "personality" doesn't exist as separate from the way you look.
> 
> Why can't people understand this.


Its true if you chose (Or have been TRAINED) to think like this and I think the media and how society portrays attractive people is partly to blame, attractive people are up so high on pedestals in the media that these thoughts transfer to everyone else and we take on those thoughts as what others want to see as well...peer pressure

There has to be a change in thought and really trying finding truth to overcome this thinking, *if thats what people want.*

Thoughts and thinking like the original poster has is what actually causes many of us to suffer with social anxiety disorder...we look at things differently than what they "truly" are.

I'm guilty of it myself, judging people based on appearance, this girl i like...she's so physically attractive that i grow weak around her, i can't think straight around her, I'm thinking of her right now! ARGH and I thought of her as someone who could do no wrong, she was infallible, she was perfect...WELL SHE ISN'T, WASn't....she is a nice person and intelligent (Or maybe thats just my weakness talking) but she has her flaws, she's flirty, she'll lash out at times, she'll ACT differently depending on who's around and not be real with herself like she is around me, she's confused sometimes and i can see it...

never judge a book by its cover hehe


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## Message (Sep 20, 2006)

Corporeality said:


> An attractive person is "kind," an unattractive person is "obsequious;"


I don't know, when I see an attractive and confident person, my first assumption is that they are an ***. Male or Female. It's hardwired into my brain that way.


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

Message said:


> Corporeality said:
> 
> 
> > An attractive person is "kind," an unattractive person is "obsequious;"
> ...


 :ditto


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