# I think I offended of my teacher...



## phella (Jun 1, 2011)

I've been a shut in for some years and I recently started out again as a first year student

I had some questions so I actually mailed the teacher of my course and I think he was offended by me...



> Hi,
> 
> I'm first year x student. I have a question about the coursebooks for the course blabla. I noticed there is a pdf file on our course page, which is a compilation of selective chapters of our coursebooks, do we still have to buy the coursebooks or would the pdf alone be sufficient?
> 
> Thanks in advance


teacher's reply..



> First, you shouldn't address me as 'hi' - that's rude. At least include a name.
> 
> Second of all, these are not the kind of questions you should ask the tutors, but in any case, ask a at blablabla
> 
> Have a nice day,


Wow I feel bad and stupid after that...I haven't even met this teacher yet and I made a bad impression..

What should I do? Should I sent another email to apologize?

EDIT: argh I just realized I made a typo in topic title


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

Your teacher sounds like a total dick. Honestly if I were in your position, I'd try to switch teachers right now. But I understand it's often not possible. In that event, I'd send a quick e-mail to apologize and thank him/her for the response. Make sure you include the name! Haha.


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## arsenius (Feb 15, 2011)

It sounds like he's just an uptight teacher or in a bad mood or something. You got really unlucky  But, I don't think you did anything wrong, if anything I think you were especially good to be so proactive and ask (surely that's better than just not getting it, or not even having checked the webpage!). Anyway, even though he got a little upset (he is the one being rude!), I don't think it is a very big deal. I don't mean to belittle your feelings; I would feel the same way. But, I don't think it is as important as it feels like, or that it will give him as negative an impression as you think.

I do think you should send an email to apologize, though. Just say "Dear mr / professor <whatever>, I apologize if I came across as rude. Thank you for the information about where I should ask" etc.

It sucks that this happened, but good job on starting out again, and don't let it discourage you.


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## phi (Aug 1, 2011)

he is the rude one not you. 

How is "hi" rude?

Next time you want to say Hi, guess what, you will think, no i should not say that because its rude???!!!

to hear that its just traumatizing a hi is not rude.

treating others that way, what can he really teach you to be misserable?
he seem really uneducated to me


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## phella (Jun 1, 2011)

Should this be ok?



> Dear ms/mr blah
> 
> Thank you for the information. I apologize for my email and if I came across as rude, I shall be more attentive in the future.
> 
> With kind regards,


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## phi (Aug 1, 2011)

it just sounds like he/she does not have time for anything. Or he/she feels like that is not part of his job.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

phella said:


> Should this be ok?


Yeah. I doubt that will get nitpicked.


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## phella (Jun 1, 2011)

Ok I sent the email, hopefully I won't offend him/her this time...

Bummer though, I was looking forward to his lecture the most


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

Well maybe he'll turn out to be different. Try to keep an open mind when going to his class, but don't get your hopes up too high.


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

Screw your prof. You weren't rude, they were. You shouldn't have apologized.


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## mike285 (Aug 21, 2010)

Your professor was unnecessarily rude and you weren't. In general, I start my emails with Hi Professor X, and then say whatever I have to say, but he still shouldn't have responded the way he did.


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## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)

I'm gonna echo these responses and say he was the rude one. He sounds like he's on his period.


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## Manifold (May 14, 2010)

If his lectures are as prolific as his attitude, you should be better off studying at home by a textbook.


It makes my blood boil seeing someone being treated the way you were. Please, try not to feel bad and cultivate negative emotions. You did nothing wrong. Just do what you have to do and pass the course, so you won't have to deal with him ever again.


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## atticusfinch (Dec 18, 2010)

Yeah. You're going to get some ****ty 'teachers'. From what you just described, this guy sounds like one of them. I completely agree with phi.

_(BTW, good on you for starting up school once again. Don't get discouraged from the things you want to do.)_


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

Sound's like a utter douchebag, make sure you take that into consideration when it's time to fill out the end of semester evaluations.


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## letitrock (Jan 10, 2009)

Jeez, what an *******! There was nothing wrong with what you wrote.



lonelyjew said:


> Screw your prof. You weren't rude, they were. You shouldn't have apologized.


 Well yeah, Phella wasn't in the wrong, but for the sake of not getting on this irrational professor's bad side, I think it was a good idea to apologize.



phella said:


> Should this be ok?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I think you should've left it at what you had before, with "Hi" and "Thanks", just editing it to "Hi Professor______", cause I just don't like the idea of giving in to this professor's lunacy by being overly polite, he doesn't deserve it.



laura024 said:


> Honestly if I were in your position, I'd try to switch teachers right now. But I understand it's often not possible.


Yeah, can you try doing that?


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

letitrock said:


> Well yeah, Phella wasn't in the wrong, but for the sake of not getting on this irrational professor's bad side, I think it was a good idea to apologize.


The worst thing is that it's an English Class, so grading is subjective, and the prof could be immature enough to take his dislike out on his grades. Honestly, I would have tried to transfer to another class, or just dropped it. Pride can get in the way sometimes of grades, but still, if you apologize when you've done nothing wrong, it can be very detrimental to self esteem. Standing up to the prof may no be good for your grades, but it could be good for you.


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## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

phella said:


> What should I do? Should I sent another email to apologize?
> 
> EDIT: argh I just realized I made a typo in topic title


Yes, you should most definitely send an email to apologize. It can go something like this:

Dear Mr. X,

I'm sorry that you're still a virgin. But please keep in mind that this is not my fault.

Have a nice day,
XYZ


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## phella (Jun 1, 2011)

lol seems like she even nitpicked on my "dear ms/mr" part




> Dear Anon,
> 
> Thank you for your kind message. I hope you'll be able to get the course book in time.
> 
> ...


I suspected she was female but I wasn't 100% sure so I just said ms/mr in case ><

and yeah I'm not able to change tutors, but they giving this class with multiple different teachers(philosophy btw, so I'm not sure why she is so strict)


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## mind_games (Nov 30, 2008)

phella said:


> lol seems like she even nitpicked on my "dear ms/mr" part
> 
> I suspected she was female but I wasn't 100% sure so I just said ms/mr in case ><
> 
> and yeah I'm not able to change tutors, but they giving this class with multiple different teachers(philosophy btw, so I'm not sure why she is so strict)


This person is just being very prissy. You've done great in sending the apology. If this was some random person you really shouldn't have, but since this is a teacher of a course that you've just begun it was the better option. Apart from massaging her ego by apologising, this also puts your mind at ease because you've done your bit to patch things up with her. (Again there is nothing to patch things up over because she really is over-reacting). In these situations it's about massaging these people's egos in order to get what you need. Just know that this wasn't some big screw up on your part (her attitude and especially your SA will be trying to tell you otherwise).

I doubt she'll even remember your name by tomorrow because these guys usually have to deal with so many students and by the sounds of things she probably gets pissed off by so many people that she won't remember your specific name. So .. you can put this event behind you.


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## sas111 (Oct 20, 2010)

I would have e-mailed him back, told him to quit being to sensitive, do your job & answer my question. He needs to get over himself & focus on getting you through school, it's not about him.


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## phella (Jun 1, 2011)

mind_games said:


> This person is just being very prissy. You've done great in sending the apology. If this was some random person you really shouldn't have, but since this is a teacher of a course that you've just begun it was the better option. Apart from massaging her ego by apologising, this also puts your mind at ease because you've done your bit to patch things up with her. (Again there is nothing to patch things up over because she really is over-reacting). In these situations it's about massaging these people's egos in order to get what you need. Just know that this wasn't some big screw up on your part (her attitude and especially your SA will be trying to tell you otherwise).
> 
> I doubt she'll even remember your name by tomorrow because these guys usually have to deal with so many students and by the sounds of things she probably gets pissed off by so many people that she won't remember your specific name. So .. you can put this event behind you.


thanks man, feel a lot better now

thought I'm developing a new phobia I think, every time I email a teacher from now on I would think I might say something stupid


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

Vanilllabb said:


> I would have e-mailed him back, told him to quit being to sensitive, do your job & answer my question. He needs to get over himself & focus on getting you through school, it's not about him.


That's not a way to react to someone who has control of one's grades. The teacher seems like a jerk, yes, but the education system involves a lot of playing along.


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## mind_games (Nov 30, 2008)

phella said:


> thanks man, feel a lot better now
> 
> thought I'm developing a new phobia I think, every time I email a teacher from now on I would think I might say something stupid


Understandable when you have these kinds of people around . But it's obvious to any normal person from your email content that you are a very polite person. You'll just need to have faith in that. And faith in the idea that most people aren't like her. Again by being polite you've done all you can from your side. If people still get offended by that it's their problem.

Are you in the west? If you are I don't think you even need to address teachers by Mr/Ms/Mrs because you (or anyone else for that matter) can never really tell if it's a Ms or Mrs (or even a Mr if it's a foreign name) from the name alone can you? Just first name basis is fine. It might be different in other parts of the world :stu

Also you should remember that there is a slim chance that this person was just having a rough couple of days and in her immaturity she was dumping her frustrations on other people. Maybe she isn't like that usually.


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## phella (Jun 1, 2011)

mind_games said:


> Understandable when you have these kinds of people around . But it's obvious to any normal person from your email content that you are a very polite person. You'll just need to have faith in that. And faith in the idea that most people aren't like her. Again by being polite you've done all you can from your side. If people still get offended by that it's their problem.
> 
> Are you in the west? If you are I don't think you even need to address teachers by Mr/Ms/Mrs because you (or anyone else for that matter) can never really tell if it's a Ms or Mrs (or even a Mr if it's a foreign name) from the name alone can you? Just first name basis is fine. It might be different in other parts of the world :stu
> 
> Also you should remember that there is a slim chance that this person was just having a rough couple of days and in her immaturity she was dumping her frustrations on other people. Maybe she isn't like that usually.


Yeah I hope it's something like that

I'm from the Netherlands actually, and from what I understand, most university tutors aren't really this uptight(at least my previous study was so)

And our school has alot foreign tutors, so a female name here might have been a male in France, so I rather not take my chances


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## Resonance (Feb 11, 2010)

Hahaha, oh god that's hilarious what a dick :lol

Since you're 23 im guessing you are at college/uni, therefore "hi" is a perfectly acceptable greeting. All our profs insist on being called by their first names and would take the piss out of you if you wrote some stupid formal email to them. This guy is clearly just a douche with his head so far up his own arse he can chew his own tonsils - academia does that to some people.

I'd ignore it, dicks like that deserve to be offended, make sure you start all future emails to him with "hi" from now on as well, nothing is as entertaining or socially beneficial as winding up the pretentious.

EDIT: Alternatively, try "Salutations" instead.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

lol as the rest have said, the guy is just rude, yeah perhaps you could have added his name (and it's good practice to do it for all emails if you do know who you are writing to, otherwise just "Hi" or "to whom it may concern" will suffice) but the way he went off at your was completely unprofessional and honestly I would have forwarded it straight to the administration of your Uni, because that is just poor practice on his behalf.

Unfortunately you will come across people like this through your working life, just have to learn to not take it personally and move on where you can.


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## Glacial (Jun 16, 2010)

I think you seem more mature than your professor since you sent an apology; and the fact that you did probably made the professor feel about an inch tall being that your level of maturity and professionalism is above his/hers.


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## xxLambyxx (Aug 2, 2011)

At my college, we used to put hi and send similar emails to our teachers, they didnt mind and even sent similar ones back.

But then we had a change of staff (new head of the animal welfare and veterinary nursing) and we had to become more formal in our emails, not because of our teachers, but just in case she had a look at the emails because we're not supposed to be friends with our teachers or some **** like that.

Many of my tutors get loads of invites to 18th, 19th, 20th and 21st birthday parties, but as much as they want to go, they're not allowed :/

And if they see us in like a club, they have to leave because if they are seen in the same place as a student, it could look like they are socialising with students. 

And im sure it is the tutors job to answer any questions about the work/college or where ever you are etc.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

Wow..... that teacher is an absolute JERK. There was nothing at all wrong with your email. I have addressed professors by 'Hi' for years, especially now as a grad student, having to email professors quite regularly - and not one of them has ever complained about it. He sounds like someone with a giant ego. Unfortunately those types of uptight professors do exist, but don't beat yourself up for it because it wasn't your fault.

You should send an email back to him telling him to go **** himself.


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

There's also going to be some jerk who takes offense at what you say, so it's better to be too formal, than too informal.

In Canada, you never address teachers at university as Mr or Mrs. E-mails start with: Hi Professor Smith. The subject line includes the course code and a preview of your question, and is sent from your university e-mail account. 

If you're an undergrad, address teachers as Professor Smith, or just Professor, or avoid using their name (I have heard people use 'Sir'). 
If you have a question about the material, ask the professor. But if it's a question about the course, the syllabus, the books to buy, it's better to ask the teaching assistant. 

All this may seem really stupid, but different situations have different protocols and you often get better results when you follow them.


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## phella (Jun 1, 2011)

oh man I almost purchased a 50$ book because the teacher was so unclear, thank god some senior pointed out I only needed like 2 chapters of it(which was in the pdf)


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## artynerd (Sep 3, 2011)

Oh my, you wasnt rude at all. She/he was being mean. Speaking of rude, that teacher didnt address you by your name either! What a hypocrite!

But I understand why you want to apologise since you do not want to be in their bad book.


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## obsidianavenger (Sep 1, 2011)

definitely an exception rather than a rule i think. i wrote one of my prof's an email this weekend, didn't capitalize anything AND included an emoticon, and received a courteous reply addressing my question and signed with his first name. whoever this lady is, she needs to chill the frick out. sorry you got a bad one 

it seems especially weird because my philosophy professors have all been quite chill in the past... i used to see them in bars all the time, and one even invited a bunch of students to come out and drink with him.


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## wjc75225 (Jul 24, 2010)

Yeah, she's just uptight like people have said. I've had professors that would act all high and mighty, but then I had a lot of nice professors, too.


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## OldSchoolSkater (Jun 3, 2011)

Don't let this one professor ruin your mood on school.

He/she clearly has something else that's bothering them. Most likely they are unprepared and overwhelmed for the semester to start. 

I can see why they would want you to ask the tutors, but how the hell would you know if you were a FIRST year student? You wouldn't. They are supposed to help you. As far as starting an email as "Hi," their response to you was much more rude than your email was to them, so disregard this. You WILL need to figure out how professional teachers want you to be - and each one is different. I had one that would get infuriated if we didn't refer to him as "Doctor SoandSo," because he "went to college and paid for that title, you better use it." I've had others who are the opposite, "Please don't refer to me as Mr/Mrs, Dr, or Professor. Just (Tim/Joe/Bob/whatever) is good enough."


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## phella (Jun 1, 2011)

had my first day today

we were told not to send any emails but only visit during opening hours...so strange...Definitely gonna make a comment about it at the end semester evaluation, I mean we are in 21st century, why aren't we able to use one of the conventional communication tool?


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Perkins said:


> I'm gonna echo these responses and say he was the rude one. He sounds like he's on his period.


XD

I would _not_ have apologised. That's how I addressed all the profs, as Hello or Hi. They didn't mind first names though or not adding any opening such as Hi.

FFS, profs wouldn't even bother adding hi or hello and took much less care than you did with your initial email. They email all kinds of crap and make tons of grammar and spelling errors.

I think your teacher's a bully and you gave in to it. _Never_ suck up to a bully. It's sick. And you're an adult and should expect to be treated as one, not some kid!


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## hellopiggy (Sep 15, 2009)

total *****. i can't believe that she did this to you..nad now you will never forget it thanks to her douche-ness. firstly, know that that is not normal - that's just a *****y *** professor so don't try to forget about it and don't fear it from other professors


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## kurukuro (Dec 28, 2010)

phella said:


> had my first day today
> 
> we were told not to send any emails but only visit during opening hours...so strange...Definitely gonna make a comment about it at the end semester evaluation, I mean we are in 21st century, why aren't we able to use one of the conventional communication tool?


I would definitely complain about that during evaluation. There should be at least one additional contact besides in person. :no


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## Pharoah (Jul 26, 2011)

"First, you shouldn't address me as 'hi' - that's rude. At least include a name.

Second of all, these are not the kind of questions you should ask the tutors, but in any case, ask a at blablabla

Have a nice day,"



My reply

My question was a simple one. There is no need to address anyone, especially you, you sorry son of a *****.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

Sounds like it's going to be a long semester in that class.

It's unavoidable though. I had a few awful teachers throughout my time in college.


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## Joe (May 18, 2010)

Your teacher sounds like a prick really one who thinks he is better than you since your young, alot of teachers like this with obvious things they seem to be insecure about so they get annoyed loads, like a teacher who does alot of sports and is a bit overweight seems to get annoyed when people constantly out run or do better than him, but he shouts at this other person who probably has sa and tried to be a **** with me when i had him.


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