# Does texting trigger your anxiety?



## crosswing (Aug 19, 2015)

I have this one friend that moved to a different city an hour away. I keep in touch by texting. We aren't close, but as far as my small handful of friends goes I'd consider this person the closest friend I have. Whenever we text though I get this overwhelming fear that the next text is going to indicate that we shouldn't keep in touch anymore. I think this is very irrational of me but, as with most irrational feelings, I cannot help but feel this way every single time. Does anyone else get this? Any advice?


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## Lolpingu (Oct 13, 2014)

Nnnnnnot sure if this is the best place to be posting this confession of guilty guilt in, but eh, screw it, here I go. 

I was kiiiiind of at the delivering end of this situation myself. Meaning, I moved out of my friend's city, and after some time, I broke all contact with him. We were friends since 5, moved when I was 12, broke contact when I was 18. He was my best friend.

But... our friendship felt like it took an emotional toll on me. He still lived in in that city, and when I spoke to him, I got that painful ol' surge of nostalgia, I had flashbacks of all the good times and I was filled with misery. Hell, I even visited him from time to time, and that was REALLY painful. The very smell of that place made me feel like crap. So, I figured that I have enough emotional burdens and that I should remove the ones I can. I said my goodbyes, he was polite about it, and that was the end of that. Funny story - when I moved to this city, I got a new best friend, or a local best friend, or something. After a few years, he moved out too, guess where? to my old best friend's city! small world, huh? anyways, cut ties with him too. Gave me nostalgia from hanging out with... well.. him. I guess I really just hate intercity friendships - they seem to cause me more pain that they can make up for, and so I've gotten used to terminating them. 

Do I even have a point here? I guess that your feelings might not be COMPLETELY irrational. Or maybe they are, and you're actually starting to feel this way yourself, which is projecting as the fear that your friend will do it to your first. Sometimes when we feel guilty about committing or being on the verge of committing, what we perceive as a crime, we become paranoid that other people will do it to us. Or, perhaps, it's best to talk to him about it, get it out of your system. Or, if you feel like this relationship has become too much of a burden, you can, well, pull a me.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Texting has never been the best way to communicate. A lot of people later realize that. It's hard to keep the conversation going through text and sometimes the recipient doesn't follow through. I remember having phone calls that would last for literally two hours. It's great. Made me feel like my friendship was still strong unlike texting. I understand unlimited texting and saving money, but at least one phone call is worth the try even for a socially anxious person like yourself. You should get out of your comfort zone slowly. Take baby steps.


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## Telliblah (Sep 19, 2015)

Um, I don't think the texting itself is your problem really.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Yes......I try my best to avoid texting. To much pressure. What if I don't respond quick enough? What if they text me while I'm sleep and they think I'm ignoring them? I can't be worrying all day about getting a text............I hate texting and talking on the phone.


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

I get very, very nervous waiting for replies to texts. I also spend a lot of time hovering over the send button.


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## AB1994 (Jul 4, 2015)

I'm the same when I text friends I'm always scared when I ask them to hang out cos most of them say no and I don't really have many friends to text


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## Penguinfan (Apr 5, 2015)

Not really, like if I'm trying to intitiate conversation with someone I haven't talked to much before, then maybe but no.


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## shyguy07 (Mar 22, 2015)

Yeah, it makes me pretty nervous sometimes. I used to send a text and then put my phone on silent and stick it under my pillow and then check it later because I was anxious if I would get a reply or not. I don't like how I worry when I don't get a reply right away or worry that I don't reply to text fast enough. And sometimes its hard to tell what people are trying to say just by reading. Often I will just call the person instead because it feels more real and I can often find out what I need to know or tell what they need to know in 30 seconds talking on the phone than trying to ask questions and reply by text.


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## anitrauer1995 (Sep 20, 2015)

Texting makes me nervous if I don't know the person well. It isn't really a great way to communicate, phone calls are preferable (with people immediately known). Otherwise, I prefer to text.


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## Limestone22 (Aug 11, 2013)

being center of attention brings out my anxiety


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## Cuban FL Cracker (Jul 22, 2014)

I do feel a bit awkward texting people that I don't know. I start getting anxious if the person takes more than five minutes to text me back.


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## sweetSacrifice (Dec 23, 2011)

hmm, its the fear of doubt, since u cant really see or get to know whats really happening on the other side, what do the replies "really" mean or indicate, how much of it is lies.

Message schedulers have helped to lessen the anxiety a bit, since I get a feeling that i didnt text at that time, but the scheduler software did. 

this one hurts a bit, but deleting the message you just sent and forgetting that u ever sent it, and getting on with ur work, without waiting for a reply helps some ppl. This never worked for me, since the more i try to ignore someone i care about, the more i actually think about that person. And of course i could never concentrate on my work as much. But someone i knew used to do this with almost all people and manage, f**ng heartless creature.


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## GrowStrong (Oct 17, 2014)

Yes...if it's with people I don't communicate with too often AND someone I do have some form of a relationship with, or a girl I am trying to romantically attract

Like for example, my aunt texted me out of the blue a couple weeks ago. I hadn't spoken to her in years, but I guess my dad gave her my phone number. She was asking how I was doing etc...that gave me pretty bad anxiety and i kept second guessing myself on my responses. I also kept questioning myself about whether I was texting too long of a message, or if I should reply back at a certain point when the conversation seemed like it was dying. It made me anxious because I might be seeing her in future etc, and I didn't want to give off the image of being rude etc.

The same thing applies when I am texting girls I like. I constantly second guess myself and backspace many times before sending the actual text.


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