# Guys! You're not destined to be single for the rest of your life



## scriabin221 (Nov 16, 2008)

So, I always see post on here with guys upset because they perceive women to only be attracted to loud-mouth macho guys. But see, that's obviously not true. Just because it happens that way sometimes in the media and a lot in real life doesn't make it a rule. Also, my girlfriend has pointed to me out a bunch of times that a lot of women love brooding quiet guy. They find that totally sexy and they will want to make you their project. So let it and stop falling for the wrong women.


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Ok, so not all women go for macho loud mouth guys. But the majority do, and this is the problem. Women who like shy guys are a minority.


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## silvercobra101 (Mar 25, 2010)

I have found that the number of girls that have been obviously attracted to me has increased since my anxieties got worse. Twice in the past 2 years girls I don't even know have contacted me out of the blue wanting to go out. I'm not particularly attractive, but even I can sense an aura that I have about me, and can see the striking quality about the haunted look in my eyes. I'm like Dracula or something. Or maybe as you say they want to make me their project. 

I do think that there are women who like the brooding and haunted guy, and even the shy guy as well. I sometimes think that the trick is to take advantage of your shyness. If you're brooding like me, try to achieve the Dracula effect. If you're more bashfull, try to be adorable. 

Of course, my problem is that it doesn't make any difference if they like me or not. I just can't get over my fear of dating.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Boo!


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Women like men they like. Quiet or loud, it depends on the ladeee. 
I am finding this out, too .


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

can we meet your gf?


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## OtherGlove (Dec 28, 2010)

nemesis1 said:


> Ok, so not all women go for macho loud mouth guys. But the majority do, and this is the problem. Women who like shy guys are a minority.


I think you have to realize that you're more focused on your shyness than other people are. I'm shy, I've dated too many different kinds of women to make general statements about what women like. Start looking at individuals, if you're thinking about women in general terms you're holding yourself back. You cant blame the entire gender


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## kiirby (Oct 8, 2010)

I met a brooding and haunted quiet guy once. He spent an hour talking at me about how traumatic it was when his cat died, and discussing hair straighteners. Man, that guy was deep. I don't know how someone can go through that much pain and come out with such a reasonable amount of eyeliner on.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

kiirby said:


> I met a brooding and haunted quiet guy once. He spent an hour talking at me about how traumatic it was when his cat died, and discussing hair straighteners. Man, that guy was deep. I don't know how someone can go through that much pain and come out with such a reasonable amount of eyeliner on.


What can I say? I'm tuff....


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## fredbloggs02 (Dec 14, 2009)

I teach you and you teach me something every day? "project." Hmmm... I don't like the sound of that, I find it slightly offensive as though I'm expected to take the subservient role as a shy bloke and that is the best one can hope for. I have too much pride for that.


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## OtherGlove (Dec 28, 2010)

^^^

Yeah, who the hell wants to be a project? Sounds nice when you want to change, but when does it end?


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

fissionesque said:


> So, I always see post on here with guys upset because they perceive women to only be attracted to loud-mouth macho guys. But see, that's obviously not true. Just because it happens that way sometimes in the media and a lot in real life doesn't make it a rule. Also, my girlfriend has pointed to me out a bunch of times that a lot of women love brooding quiet guy. They find that totally sexy and* they will want to make you their project*. So let it and stop falling for the wrong women.


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## silvercobra101 (Mar 25, 2010)

That's why I prefer the "Dracula" theory.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Oh good, someone else had a problem with the project comment too.

Seriously, stay away from girls who try to change you. Being a project is such a bad plan.


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## LostPancake (Apr 8, 2009)

Being somebody's project beats being nobody's nothing. At least for a little while. Theoretically speaking.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

VanDamMan said:


> can we meet your gf?


 can we?


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

kiirby said:


> I met a brooding and haunted quiet guy once. He spent an hour talking at me about how traumatic it was when his cat died, and discussing hair straighteners. Man, that guy was deep. I don't know how someone can go through that much pain and come out with such a reasonable amount of eyeliner on.


 sounds like a awesome guy


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

LostPancake said:


> Being somebody's project beats being nobody's nothing. At least for a little while. Theoretically speaking.


:O Really? I'm surprised to hear that. I'd rather be alone.


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## OtherGlove (Dec 28, 2010)

I've been a project, I've been nobody's nothing, and I've been somebody's something. I'd rather be with someone, but I'll take nothing over being melted down and poured into someone else's dream guy mold.


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## OtherGlove (Dec 28, 2010)

anymouse said:


> ps that was mean. was that mean? i don't know. i've been here for a year and watched men leap at the most independent woman role model on the television screen. the more perfectly confidant the woman, the more he swoons at her feet. ironic... whatwith all the nice guy vs cocky guy complaints round hear? :b you should know that's not directed at you, LP. you like the hippie chicks.. they're not the hollywood mold.


No, lol. I'm pretty sure you were right on. Most would do it once, but I couldnt imagine going through that again


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## OtherGlove (Dec 28, 2010)

anymouse said:


> it's like.. they all write these rants about doormatism.. yet.. they choose dominants. like, superdominants. :/


I understand it on a BDSM level. Take the leather and ball gag away, and you're just a plain old tool.

I do understand why it happens, but one day it just becomes too much. I think it ended for me soon after I found out I couldnt wear a hoodie to a dive bar


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## alte (Sep 4, 2010)

shadowmask said:


>


ditto. I would rather remain single.


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## Charizard (Feb 16, 2011)

/ontopic

My girlfriend told me recently that one of the things that attracted me to her was the fact that I'm not very talkative. She said it made her really curious and want to attempt getting to know me better.


So yeah, there is hope for the quiet ones.


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## flawed (Feb 15, 2011)

Charizard said:


> /ontopic
> 
> My girlfriend told me recently that one of the things that attracted me to her was the fact that I'm not very talkative. She said it made her really curious and want to attempt getting to know me better.
> 
> So yeah, there is hope for the quiet ones.


:agree

I'm into more quiet and shy guys myself


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## joe11 (Jan 22, 2011)

Someone told me once that a lot of girls do like shy/quiet guys as they find them adorable/cute. I don't know if that's true but hopefully it is, for my sake anyway.


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## ambergris (Oct 15, 2010)

nemesis1 said:


> Ok, so not all women go for macho loud mouth guys. But the majority do, and this is the problem. Women who like shy guys are a minority.


See, I used to get really confused and annoyed by these 'all women really want this kind of guy' comments, but now I understand that they really mean 'all the women _who I find attractive_ seem to want this kind of guy rather than me' they make a little more sense.

It's not that women who like shy guys are a minority. It's that you're not interested in the women who like shy guys, and so you never learn about them.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

Charizard said:


> /ontopic
> 
> My girlfriend told me recently that one of the things that attracted me to her was the fact that I'm not very talkative. She said it made her really curious and want to attempt getting to know me better.
> 
> So yeah, there is hope for the quiet ones.


Where do you find these women? WHERE?! Tell me now! :|


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## LostPancake (Apr 8, 2009)

Perfectionist said:


> :O Really? I'm surprised to hear that. I'd rather be alone.


I suppose it depends on your level of connection to the world - there were times I felt I was going insane from isolation, and having someone barge into my life would have been very welcome, even if they were projecting something onto me. Such a connection would be better than relating to a giant void, which is what I seemed to be doing.

And yes, this thread is old... and anymouse will delete her post and then it will look like I resurrected it.











anymouse said:


> i've been here for a year and watched men leap at the most independent woman role model on the television screen. the more perfectly confidant the woman, the more he swoons at her feet. ironic... whatwith all the nice guy vs cocky guy complaints round hear? :b you should know that's not directed at you, LP. you like the hippie chicks.. they're not the hollywood mold.


Oh anymouse, I know what you're saying, but I don't think I really have a type. Though I might have a thing for ghosts and Edward Gorey characters.


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## joldges (Nov 8, 2010)

I'm actually really interested in this "project" concept. Could someone out there elaborate on how and where you've met these kind of women, and what exactly they tried to mold you into, if anything. I've never encountered anything like this my self.
This intrigues me greatly...


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## disha (May 1, 2011)

I read a book last year that transformed me into a different person for a few months. I became temporarily extroverted and less emotional. But like evrything else the effect faded. Its called The Art Of Seduction by Robert Greene.
It kinda motivated me to see the world in the eyes of a player, and the attention i got from the guys was like my-oh-my.
Try it guys, maybe it could work more permanently for some of you. As for me i guess i'll just have to keep trying to make time to read it again.


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## LostPancake (Apr 8, 2009)

anymouse said:


> okay i'll try not to :blush


It's okay, just teasing you. 



> hey me too! :yay
> 
> 
> 
> ...


:yes

I keep waiting for Edwardian style to come back in fashion.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

^Jeez, leave that woman alone! What'd she do to you?! :eek :lol
Take your HOOVES off her :lol.

I think there is a girl out there for me - I can sense it now. I just need to be where I need to be!


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## bixby (Dec 23, 2010)

i find 'macho' very unattractive. being into quiet/introspective types hasn't anything to do with being a project- there's nothing to 'fix'.


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## RenegadeReloaded (Mar 12, 2011)

so there are women out there who like quiet shy guys ?

where the **** are they ? cause I can't find them :mum


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

silvercobra101 said:


> If you're brooding like me, try to achieve the Dracula effect. If you're more bashfull, try to be adorable.


 Curses! I am stuck halfway in between!

:mum


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

Yay.


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## nickcorona (Oct 17, 2010)

There's always an exception to the rule, and yes it is a rule, if it happens 99% of the time with a few exceptions it is a rule. A damn rule, ya hear?


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## leave me alone (Apr 1, 2011)

Let me just say it. The "hot" girls like cocky and confident guys. :um


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## blackbird87 (Jan 24, 2011)

^there it is lol glad I didn't have to come out and say it


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## LostPancake (Apr 8, 2009)

> =o neo-victorian count? it's in. =o


Whoa, I hadn't heard of that. It looks a bit... fetishistic. I think I'll stick with the Edwardian look. With a bit of flapper thrown in.


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## RenegadeReloaded (Mar 12, 2011)

anymouse said:


> i love how everything is so black and white we can surely guess at what the opposite sex has in mind at all times. :blank


i hate how everytime i forget that  and i have to remind myslef that like it's a new thing for my brain


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

A guy that is anxious seems more likely to be empathetic and perhaps less likely to be a dick to you because they know what it's like to feel low. That's a hypothesis I have as to why women may sometimes prefer the quiet, anxious types.


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## add2list (Nov 10, 2010)

LostPancake said:


> It's okay, just teasing you.
> 
> :yes
> 
> I keep waiting for Edwardian style to come back in fashion.


Once a year in San Francisco and LA the Edwardian style is in 










I guess I've been lucky to meet women who have liked quiet guys.


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## Valace (Mar 27, 2011)

The majority of loud macho guys want the majority of loud oversexed females.

That leaves the rest of us all to ourselves. : D


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## angus (Dec 18, 2010)

I speak from experiance, girls only go for the quiet brooding types (project guys) if they are seriously hot, if there not they are just quiet creepy guy's.


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## Kiwong (Aug 6, 2010)

I'm quite comfortable being single for the rest of my life.


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## HermitModeON (May 11, 2011)

Hot girls are more socialized because they know how to be the center of attention and thrive on it. Common sense will tell you that any well-socialized person does not want to be around a social black hole, much less date them. Therefore, it is physically impossible for a hot girl to like a guy with SAD. Girls with SAD are lucky because every girl in world has some guy out there that would want to do them. Guys don't have that.


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## IsThereAComputerOption (Apr 15, 2011)

SAS guys that can get a girl is a rare exception, not the rule. Sadly.


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## Emma2040 (Apr 20, 2010)

joinmartin said:


> Okay, since the above talks about common sense, let's apply common sense to the above:
> 
> "Girls with SAD are lucky because every girl in world has some guy out there that would want to do them. Guys don't have that."
> 
> My experience as a female actually mirrors most of the experiences described by the males in this thread. I hate macho, loud guys, they can be very arrogant and mean.


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## Emma2040 (Apr 20, 2010)

joinmartin said:


> Okay, since the above talks about common sense, let's apply common sense to the above:
> 
> "Girls with SAD are lucky because every girl in world has some guy out there that would want to do them. Guys don't have that."


My experience as a female actually mirrors most of the experiences described by the males in this thread. I hate macho, loud guys, they can be very arrogant.


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## slightlyawkward (Feb 16, 2011)

fissionesque said:


> Also, my girlfriend has pointed to me out a bunch of times that a lot of women love brooding quiet guy.


The brooding part...Not so much.
The quiet part? Yes.


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## stranger25 (Apr 29, 2010)

See if you can answer me on why I've been ignored by females my whole life, so much, that I've never had the chances to even be simple friends with any in person (I'm not making this up, this is my reality). When I was younger, I was too scared to talk with them, so I stayed distant. But I think there was more to it. Like I was too goofy looking or something.


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## Neurosurgeon (Jan 12, 2013)

scriabin221 said:


> So, I always see post on here with guys upset because they perceive women to only be attracted to loud-mouth macho guys. But see, that's obviously not true. Just because it happens that way sometimes in the media and a lot in real life doesn't make it a rule. Also, my girlfriend has pointed to me out a bunch of times that a lot of women love brooding quiet guy. They find that totally sexy and they will want to make you their project. So let it and stop falling for the wrong women.


I find loud macho guys atrocious most of the time  I personally like the sensitive (and shy) type way more.


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## The Sleeping Dragon (Sep 29, 2011)

Meh. I don't believe in destiny. But it's extremely likely I'll be alone forever. I mean people look at their best in their 20's right? I'm 30 now. Receding hairline. Not attractive or particularly bright. No unusual talents or skills. Do the math.

Funny I just noticed I can't even be positive in the Positive Thinking sub forum. I don't belong here. See you in Frustration and/or Coping!


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## ShadyGFX (Jul 18, 2012)

Are you sure? Because I have a vast amount of evidence to suggest otherwise.


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## mardymoo (Jan 8, 2013)

I'm pretty sure the project comment came about because some people can see it in others when they are unsure of themselves and want to help them come out of their shell. Why else would you be on this forum if you didn't have a problem?


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

The Sleeping Dragon said:


> Meh. I don't believe in destiny. But it's extremely likely I'll be alone forever. I mean people look at their best in their 20's right? I'm 30 now.


Meh, some men definitely get better looking in their 30s or even 40s.

Not so much women... though there are exceptions...


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

None of that proves I won't be single for the rest of my life. :stu

I mean, I assume girls like guys that can actually talk.


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## cozenedjourneyman (Jan 18, 2013)

For some reason this is the one area in which I am not anxious.
I like women... I like enjoying a woman's company feeling soft skin pressed against mine as I rest and I ESPECIALLY love women who are challenging and equally as "complex" as I can be some times.
But I've never felt as though I NEED to be with somebody. In fact in my current "transition" or phase or whatever this part of my life is... Sex and relationships are kind of on the back burner in my mind.

The reason this conversation interests me is that my friend has just become engaged to a woman he hates like 2/3 of the time and isn't even attracted to all because he fears being alone so much.... baffling.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I've always looked the same. Doesn't matter.

I probably will be alone forever, but at this moment _I don't really care. _


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## Anxietyriddled (Jan 5, 2013)

I hope I can run into one of those rare girls who has some how over written her natural brain chemistry to be attracted to assertive dominant men and accepts me instead har.



> I probably will be alone forever, but at this moment _I don't really care._


Stop jinxing your self bra. Ill be alone forever? A lot of people through out human history experienced the same situation and managed to have some happy relationships and experiences, get married etc. And you do care that's why it bothers you so much.


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## Picturesque (Jan 13, 2013)

I know I won't be alone forever  Well hopefully not, cause that'd suck.


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## woot (Aug 7, 2009)

What the hell is this thread?

All you guys complain how lonley you are. Well no ****, you aren't doing anything to improve it. You will not get a girl sitting behind a computer saying "I can't get a girl"

Work for it. Work through the pain. Don't quit on life. Make the rest of your life, the best of your life.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Trash talk

This is just over positive thinking. I'm a ****ing mong so this doesn't apply, if girls liked retarded twats like me then I'd be spoilt for choice.


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## Softy785 (Apr 16, 2006)

I definitely wouldn't want a macho, overconfident, extroverted guy. He'd be way too different from me, and it would never work out. I don't get why a shy/quiet girl would go for a guy like that.


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## brandonmag (Jan 21, 2013)

scriabin221 said:


> So, I always see post on here with guys upset because they perceive women to only be attracted to loud-mouth macho guys. But see, that's obviously not true. Just because it happens that way sometimes in the media and a lot in real life doesn't make it a rule. Also, my girlfriend has pointed to me out a bunch of times that a lot of women love brooding quiet guy. They find that totally sexy and they will want to make you their project. So let it and stop falling for the wrong women.


Any women out there :idea Send me a pm


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

it depends, but seeing most of these threads, it's no wonder SA guys can't get women.


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## NoMoreRunnin (Oct 7, 2012)

scriabin221 said:


> So, I always see post on here with guys upset because they perceive women to only be attracted to loud-mouth macho guys. But see, that's obviously not true. Just because it happens that way sometimes in the media and a lot in real life doesn't make it a rule. Also, my girlfriend has pointed to me out a bunch of times that a lot of *women love brooding quiet guy. They find that totally sexy *and they will want to make you their project. So let it and stop falling for the wrong women.


Ryan Gosling in Drive?


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## AceEmoKid (Apr 27, 2012)

Just because we can like whoever we like doesn't prove we're not destined to be single for the rest of our lives, lol. 

In my opinion, some of us would do better to not find love. Finding love is not for everybody....if it was, life would be so one sided. We need those single introverts who have other priorities in life, like making the world a better place...or even, just simply living and being satisfied with what they have.


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## Tone (Oct 12, 2012)

scriabin221 said:


> So, I always see post on here with guys upset because they perceive women to only be attracted to loud-mouth macho guys. But see, that's obviously not true. Just because it happens that way sometimes in the media and a lot in real life doesn't make it a rule. Also, my girlfriend has pointed to me out a bunch of times that a lot of women love brooding quiet guy. They find that totally sexy and they will want to make you their project. So let it and stop falling for the wrong women.


I dont fall for the wrong women, 100% oif all women who have ever been interested in me turned out to be using me then threw me away and did things like play amnesia, laughing hangup calls all kinds of attacks before disappearing

There is no "choice" if 100% of all women interested did this, and all other women rejected, that leaves no "choice" so your post doesnt make any sense to me. Went out over 1000 times alone and been on dozens upon dozens of sites, tried everything; iots forced against the will and all efforts, not a choice.


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## Tone (Oct 12, 2012)

I got PTSD from my last experience with all the other experiences behind that last one. Every life experience i ever had, since birth was very bad/suffering/evil. Ive never had something work out decently before, so i came down with PTSD. The PTSD attacks are very intense agony i cannot describe which involve daily crying and shaking in terror & torture. 

Its unbearable destruction to be forced into isolation against the will, with all hundreds of efforts done year after year, decades, and completely do not work, with all experiences still remaining very bad and remaining in forced-rejection

only 1 in about 100 people met would even talk to me, so the few people i knew in life were very abusive and sociopathic. 

Messaging local people online or meeting local people without the use of the internet both do not work at all; so i have no idea what to do, i tried hundreds of things over years and years


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## Tone (Oct 12, 2012)

woot said:


> What the hell is this thread?
> 
> All you guys complain how lonley you are. Well no ****, you aren't doing anything to improve it. You will not get a girl sitting behind a computer saying "I can't get a girl"
> 
> Work for it. Work through the pain. Don't quit on life. Make the rest of your life, the best of your life.


I hate malicious posts like this because i made many times more effort than other people yet was completely rejected and all experiences were bad

when i say i went out alone over 1000 times in over a decade period thats a literal number, literally. I literally met hundreds of people and tried everything i could, and am neither abusive nor autistic.

Absolutely everything tried has failed, against all my best efforts

By now i am so damaged from it that i am very weak & in agony every day. Every day is terror and PTSD attacks, in incredible hurt & pain i cant describe in words. I can barely function at all because the forced rejection, isolation and abuse is total destruction, i feel like I am poisoned and diseased from it

My family all died in the 90s including my dad i lived with who suicided, and the death of my family is far, far less pain and damage than is being forced into total isolation with 99 out of 100 rejecting / incompatible, and 1 out of 100 temporarily abusive then disappears. no matter what type of person, where or how met, no matter what is tried, year after year,


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## Tone (Oct 12, 2012)

Im telling you, forced rejection, forced isolation against all hundreds of efforts made year after year, every thing possible thought of and tried very best ...* is far far worse pain than the death of a nuclear family. *


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

That's great to hear!


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## WhatWentWrong (Oct 25, 2010)

I have no doubt in my mind that* I WILL FIND THE GIRL FOR ME!* Whether that be though online dating (again and again) once I've overcome the majority of my anxiety issues. Maybe I'll sit next to a nice girl on a bench in a park sometime. If we keep our chins up then I believe things will happen


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## MoonForge (Sep 15, 2012)

Finding a girl can happen anywhere anyway, in the library, at the supermarket, or maybe she'll find you xD I think this is a good thread and i agree with WhatWentWrong, and ofcourse it helps to actually go out, or maybe you'll find your girl online, that works out for some people too, but it does take effort ofcourse, and there's a lot of choices when it comes to public places  *i'm rambeling, sorry*

Anyway good thread!


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

MoonForge said:


> Finding a girl can happen anywhere anyway, in the library, at the supermarket, or* maybe she'll find you* xD




...

:afr

...actually, ironically enough I probably WOULD be terrified and reluctant in almost any form of that situation. Fantasy is one thing... but reality is complicated and annoying .


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## Tone (Oct 12, 2012)

MoonForge said:


> Finding a girl can happen anywhere anyway, in the library, at the supermarket, or maybe she'll find you xD I think this is a good thread and i agree with WhatWentWrong, and ofcourse it helps to actually go out, or maybe you'll find your girl online, that works out for some people too, but it does take effort ofcourse, and there's a lot of choices when it comes to public places  *i'm rambeling, sorry*
> 
> Anyway good thread!


Yeah but.... what kind of life is it to live where year after year and decades, people tell you _"dont worry you can meet a woman anywhere, even if its a store, and she always might come to you!"_

This is no way to live life:

1) You go out alone, try things like meetup groups, do everything you can, including using many social websites.

2) Then everyone rejects you, no one is interested, you have no friends, no Love, no faimly and are 100% isolated despite all best efforts,

3) Then someone says to you something along the lines of: _"dont worry you can meet a woman anywhere, even if its a store, and she always might come to you!"

_Then the same thing happens....
Steps 1 through 3 repeat over and over and over and over and over year after year after year while you suffer agony & torture of forced isolation

Rejection, Isolation Despite all best efforts,

Then someone says to you something along the lines of: _"dont worry you can meet a woman anywhere, even if its a store, and she always might come to you!"

_Rejection, Isolation Despite all best efforts,

Then someone says to you something along the lines of: _"dont worry you can meet a woman anywhere, even if its a store, and she always might come to you!"

_Rejection, Isolation Despite all best efforts,

Then someone says to you something along the lines of: _"dont worry you can meet a woman anywhere, even if its a store, and she always might come to you!"

_Rejection, Isolation Despite all best efforts,

Then someone says to you something along the lines of: _"dont worry you can meet a woman anywhere, even if its a store, and she always might come to you!"

_Rejection, Isolation Despite all best efforts,

Then someone says to you something along the lines of: _"dont worry you can meet a woman anywhere, even if its a store, and she always might come to you!"

_Like that, that is how life is, you get rejected and forced into isolation, then people just say dont worry you can meet someone anywhere, and you just hear sentences like that for decades while torture isolation continues


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## PaxBritannica (Dec 10, 2012)

Girlfriends are for mugs


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## ShineGreymon (May 30, 2013)

where can i find one of these shy guy loving woman ?


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## Bigmo (May 28, 2013)

Women are attracted to men who mistreat and abuse them. Bad boys always get the girls as they seen as masculine while nice guys get rejected as they seen as weak. Look at Rihanna after Chris brown battered her she went back to him.


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## michijo (Nov 12, 2011)

I am beginning to realize that the boys/men who complain about being single and not having a girlfriend actually DO NOT want a girlfriend. Their idea of girlfriend is entirely a fantasy. The real girlfriend is not a thing that they really want.

This is not bad though. I think it is empowerment to admit it. If you can admit that you dont want one, and that it is your choice, then at least you are in the driver's seat rather than imagining you are being denied.


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

michijo said:


> Their idea of girlfriend is entirely a fantasy. The real girlfriend is not a thing that they really want.


Probably so... and maybe not.

Still, if only you could ease into such a situation and find out how you felt.

It just seems like a relationship requires so much damned effort to get going, and then you might not even like it. Then it's like... why would you even want to bother with the hassle unless you thought it was some kind of amazing thing that was worth it?


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## michijo (Nov 12, 2011)

SVIIC said:


> Probably so... and maybe not.
> 
> Still, if only you could ease into such a situation and find out how you felt.
> 
> It just seems like a relationship requires so much damned effort to get going, and then you might not even like it. Then it's like... why would you even want to bother with the hassle unless you thought it was some kind of amazing thing that was worth it?


I was in a relationship for 3 years and lived with a woman in an apartment. I am very organized and generally looked out for my girlfriend and was clean. It is an everyday thing, though if the person you with acts flaky or behaves badly, then it can be stressful and a bad experience. Women can be very poor communicators and not like communicating in words about real things.


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

Bull****.


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

I don't like false promises. I can't have a girlfriend because I'm not ready. If I tried I would fail miserably because I'm too weak. I want to become more social before I attempt to begin dating. Right now, I can't handle it. The problem is I don't know how to begin a social life and I always become infatuated with the attractive girls that show the slightest interest in me.


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## BelowtheCurrent (Mar 14, 2013)

This coming from a girl, I would never ever date a masculine overbearing aggressive guy. They think to highly of themselves, as if they have a halo around their heads. There was this one guy that was always super nice to me, talking to me whenever we crossed paths, complimenting me, asking me random questions; he had a thing for me. He was really kind and sweet and very nice to me. He was assertive enough to ask me if the interest was mutual, and it wasn't. I felt terrible telling him but he didn't give up. He truly thought I was lying because he felt he had everything a girl would want, but I just didn't want him and I was in no way attracted to him. I told him straight up it's not gonna happen and this guy still followed me around trying to make it happen. We are friends now, but I know he still has feelings for me. 
Sometimes no matter how kind and sweet a guy is, it won't work.

I have in fact been attracted to quirky weird quiet types, I find them more interesting and mysterious. I actually find it better for the guy to be less social than myself, it works better. I could never date a super outgoing and social guy, because I could never live up to that. 
The only hard part is that shy quiet guys never actually speak up so I never know what's going on. If you fall into this category, start speaking up when you see someone you like, chances are she will respond. 

The best qualities (in my book at least) in a guy are kindness, generosity, and the hard to find humbleness.


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## Andres124 (Oct 23, 2012)

I know I'm not going to be single for the rest of my life. Theirs a girl out there for every guy.


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

silvercobra101 said:


> I have found that the number of girls that have been obviously attracted to me has increased since my anxieties got worse. Twice in the past 2 years girls I don't even know have contacted me out of the blue wanting to go out. I'm not particularly attractive, but even I can sense an aura that I have about me, and can see the striking quality about the haunted look in my eyes. I'm like Dracula or something. Or maybe as you say they want to make me their project.
> 
> I do think that there are women who like the brooding and haunted guy, and even the shy guy as well. I sometimes think that the trick is to take advantage of your shyness. If you're brooding like me, try to achieve the Dracula effect. If you're more bashfull, try to be adorable.
> 
> Of course, my problem is that it doesn't make any difference if they like me or not. I just can't get over my fear of dating.


I've got the dark vibe as well, but women never do anything about it. If I like a girl, I have to do all the work (which doesn't matter, because it always ends up blowing up in my face). People have said in the past that I come off as "intimidating", which I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. Women are afraid to say anything to me out of the blue, but if I initiate conversation with them, they respond positively, or they at least never act mean about it.


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## NiteOwl (Jun 1, 2013)

I always liked the shy quiet ones it's endearing (not brooding though)... I thought that was normal damn it!


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## MiMiK (Aug 25, 2011)

louis ck knows best.


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## Bawsome (Jan 8, 2013)

Destiny is for the lazy.


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## ufc (Apr 25, 2012)

This is what gives me hope. This quote that I always live by whenever I'm faced with a tough challenge. I hope this helps all of you in your quest to find the right girl.... or guy if that's appealing to you. 

"I'm going to succeed, because I'm crazy enough to believe I can"

Have faith that you will find her, take baby steps, it will happen as long as you believe it.


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## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

Having a girlfriend does not mean that one will stop having SA. Life will still suck even if we find a girlfriend.



SilentLuke said:


> it depends, but seeing most of these threads, it's no wonder SA guys can't get women.


To be fair, there are worse people in this world without SA who manage to find partners.



Bigmo said:


> Women are attracted to men who mistreat and abuse them. Bad boys always get the girls as they seen as masculine while nice guys get rejected as they seen as weak. Look at Rihanna after Chris brown battered her she went back to him.


****'s sake, this is not true. It's not as simple as this. A woman who rejects a 'nice guy' is probably not rejecting him because he is nice. The example you provided is stupid, loads of girls criticised Rihanna for her decision so Rihanna's choices doesn't equal the choices every single girl. Thinking like this is not going to make it any easier for you to get a girl.


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## Bawsome (Jan 8, 2013)

MiMiK said:


> louis ck knows best.


Holy **** this is gold!


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## ShineGreymon (May 30, 2013)

apx24 said:


> Having a girlfriend does not mean that one will stop having SA. Life will still suck even if we find a girlfriend.
> 
> I disagree I fail to see how life would suck if I had a girlfriend, even if she wasent "the one" my life would still improve by like 10x over night.
> 
> ...


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

ShineGreymon said:


> I disagree I fail to see how life would suck if I had a girlfriend, even if she wasent "the one" my life would still improve by like 10x over night.


Yeah... I think surely one's life would improve.

It's not going to make things get magically better and perfect, but surely it would get better.

I mean... if she's your girlfriend, then you have to assume that you enjoy being around her and vice versa and that you'd be helping each other with things and stuff.

Surely that would be an improvement. Mind you, of course it brings with it another set of pressures etc. but if it's somebody you really get along with, then I would expect that not to outweigh the good.


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## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

ShineGreymon said:


> I disagree I fail to see how life would suck if I had a girlfriend, even if she wasent "the one" my life would still improve by like 10x over night.
> 
> also...
> 
> ...


Think of it this way, if you find talking to people stressful and if you find socialising stressful then having a girlfriend will be hell. Imagine having to phone someone all the time, having to take her out all the time, having to impress her all the time, facing the prospect of rejection or being cheated on, having to perform in bed, having to keep her interested in you, having to open up to her, having to be physically close to her and intimate with her often, having to stick up for her if someone gives her trouble, having to not show that you're afraid when you're around her. The pressure would be horrible. I already found the prospect of having friends stressful enough (that's why I lost them all) so I can't imagine how horrible a girlfriend must be. And what if the relationship ends, would you not feel worse then you did before you started it?

Nice isn't seen as weak, submissiveness is seen as weak. It's nothing to do with being nice, it's about having enough confidence to do what you want. I'm not denying that bad boys have an allure to women but that does not mean that guys are rejected for being too nice. If you're having trouble with girls it isn't because you're too nice. There are plenty of nice people who have girlfriends, they're just not mentally weak like us.


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

just to add my encouragement to the thread, I found someone recently and no I did not act like a jerk and yes she likes my niceness. So there.


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