# Sex is overrated.



## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Yes, I'm serious.

I understand why someone would want to find out what it's like if they never had it, and I'd be in the same situation if I were still a virgin. Fact is, self-satisfaction is more pleasurable than actual sex.

I don't get all the hype around it.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Wow, we are coming from totally opposite places. Sex is one of the most amazing things in the world, in my opinion. Definitely better than Rosey de Palma and her five sisters.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

srschirm said:


> Wow, we are coming from totally opposite places. Sex is one of the most amazing things in the world, in my opinion. Definitely better than Rosey de Palma and her five sisters.


Erm..yeh..sex is great. Although I will say sex with someone you really care about is 10000x better than with someone you don't.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

I agree it is overrated beyond belief. Although because it is so overrated the majority of people will disagree with us. 

The hype around it is probably due to a lot of reasons.... boredom, media, power, being the main 3.

Of course I actually do believe though that some people enjoy it more than others, which is fine.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

rymo said:


> Erm..yeh..sex is great. Although I will say sex with someone you really care about is 10000x better than with someone you don't.


True, it is better with someone you care about.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Durzo said:


> I agree it is overrated beyond belief. Although because it is so overrated the majority of people will disagree with us.
> 
> The hype around it is probably due to a lot of reasons.... boredom, media, power, being the main 3.


Haha how do those three factors influence how sex feels? Sex is a primal activity, not so much influenced by the three items you mentioned.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

srschirm said:


> Haha how do those three factors influence how sex feels? Sex is a primal activity, not so much influenced by the three items you mentioned.


I disagree.... The way sex feels is not the main reason sex is so popular. Its the way people are that is.

Firstly I mentioned boredom. There must have been a time where humans realised sex can be used for pleasure and not just for procreative purposes. At this time what did people have for entertainment? Not much compared to today. So it became a pass time as it is enjoyable. There is no reason that should change just because we have more options available for entertainment in todays society. Humans hate to be bored, therefore anything providing enjoyment will be sought after. Many people also like to be close to others at some point in their lives, so it can be used for multiple purposes. Hence why people say sex with someone you love is often better than a one night stand regardless of how good they were.

Secondly I said media, and lastly power. These join together in a sense as the people in power control the media. The people in power know that to stay in power they need to appease the masses. Throughout the years we have had many things to do this. Marketing sex is a great way to make money and promote a pass time that is enjoyable to people. So they market the **** out of it and emphasise its importance. Pretty smart on their part, it encourages reproduction, buying products and keeps people feeling good and even exercising.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Durzo said:


> I disagree.... The way sex feels is not the main reason sex is so popular. Its the way people are that is.
> 
> Firstly I mentioned boredom. There must have been a time where humans realised sex can be used for pleasure and not just for procreative purposes. At this time what did people have for entertainment? Not much compared to today. So it became a pass time as it is enjoyable. There is no reason that should change just because we have more options available for entertainment in todays society. Humans hate to be bored, therefore anything providing enjoyment will be sought after. Many people also like to be close to others at some point in their lives, so it can be used for multiple purposes. Hence why people say sex with someone you love is often better than a one night stand regardless of how good they were.
> 
> Secondly I said media, and lastly power. These join together in a sense as the people in power control the media. The people in power know that to stay in power they need to appease the masses. Throughout the years we have had many things to do this. Marketing sex is a great way to make money and promote a pass time that is enjoyable to people. So they market the **** out of it and emphasise its importance. Pretty smart on their part, it encourages reproduction, buying products and keeps people feeling good and even exercising.


Companies wouldn't use sex appeal in marketing if they didn't think people wanted/needed sex. I don't see how your post supports your point of view.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

srschirm said:


> Companies wouldn't use sex appeal in marketing if they didn't think people wanted/needed sex. I don't see how your post supports your point of view.


That is exactly my view.

The people in power know that people love sex. Therefore they exploit that market by making money from it. Use your brain, read what I wrote. I explained it well enough, not perfectly, but well enough to be understood.

If you were a business and found out people love sex, you are going to use that to your advantage. That is my point on the power. Media is just the tool that they use to feed us everything.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Durzo said:


> I disagree.... The way sex feels is not the main reason sex is so popular. Its the way people are that is.
> 
> Firstly I mentioned boredom. There must have been a time where humans realised sex can be used for pleasure and not just for procreative purposes. At this time what did people have for entertainment? Not much compared to today. So it became a pass time as it is enjoyable. There is no reason that should change just because we have more options available for entertainment in todays society. Humans hate to be bored, therefore anything providing enjoyment will be sought after. Many people also like to be close to others at some point in their lives, so it can be used for multiple purposes. Hence why people say sex with someone you love is often better than a one night stand regardless of how good they were.
> 
> Secondly I said media, and lastly power. These join together in a sense as the people in power control the media. The people in power know that to stay in power they need to appease the masses. Throughout the years we have had many things to do this. Marketing sex is a great way to make money and promote a pass time that is enjoyable to people. So they market the **** out of it and emphasise its importance. Pretty smart on their part, it encourages reproduction, buying products and keeps people feeling good and even exercising.


Sure, marketing may increase the sexuality of society, but that doesn't mean sex is any less great. To me, sex is awesome and whatever message media may give off about sex doesn't really enhance or detract from my personal enjoyment of it.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Durzo said:


> That is exactly my view.
> 
> The people in power know that people love sex. Therefore they exploit that market by making money from it. Use your brain, read what I wrote. I explained it well enough, not perfectly, but well enough to be understood.
> 
> If you were a business and found out people love sex, you are going to use that to your advantage. That is my point on the power. Media is just the tool that they use to feed us everything.


I'm lost, I'm sorry. You say sex is over-hyped, yet you admit people need sex. People need sex because of primal urges, not the media.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

srschirm said:


> I'm lost, I'm sorry. You say sex is over-hyped, yet you admit people need sex. People need sex because of primal urges, not the media.


I am not saying that the reason people like sex so much is SOLELY down to the media. I will say it again. People like sex because people get bored doing nothing, so we seek pleasure. Sex is pleasurable and beneficial, therefore we do it. However throughout history media has controlled how it has been used. Look back a hundred years, completely different to now. It is still changing now, things to do with sex and pleasure are becoming more and more acceptable. That is all thanks to the media. The media determines the norm in most respects. Afterall in most cases as individual opinions joining up to make a norm is very difficult and unlikely to happen, although this does happen too occasionally.

It is the media we have to thank for sex becoming less and less taboo and therefore gaining an even higher standing in desire. Social acceptance of it plays a huge role and provides a tonne of positive feedback.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

Another example of the media influencing in this way is gaming. I could go in huge depth into the social development of video gaming if you want me to use an example that I can explain with complete accuracy and make it as clear as possible of what I mean if I am still unclear to you....


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Durzo said:


> I am not saying that the reason people like sex so much is SOLELY down to the media. I will say it again. People like sex because people get bored doing nothing, so we seek pleasure. Sex is pleasurable and beneficial, therefore we do it. However throughout history media has controlled how it has been used. Look back a hundred years, completely different to now. It is still changing now, things to do with sex and pleasure are becoming more and more acceptable. That is all thanks to the media. The media determines the norm in most respects. Afterall in most cases as individual opinions joining up to make a norm is very difficult and unlikely to happen, although this does happen too occasionally.
> 
> It is the media we have to thank for sex becoming less and less taboo and therefore gaining an even higher standing in desire. Social acceptance of it plays a huge role and provides a tonne of positive feedback.


There is certainly some truth in a lot of what you say here.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Sex is more about the mental than the physical IMO. Physically, I can get myself off better with masturbation. But the real enjoyment I get from sex is taking in the actual experience.

I'd say that sex is definitely overrated. But worth seeking. Particularly in a loving, monogamous relationship (which is what I'm seeking primarily. But I keep having setbacks that prevent me from seeking this out). Casual sex can be great too if the chemistry is there. I thought casual sex sucked until I ran into a girl who knew what I needed better than I did! Most of my experiences have sucked. Not always though. And even if I don't get an orgasm, the experience can be more pleasurable than rubbing one off to completion. Because of the mental aspect behind it.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I'll let you know, once I eventually have it.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

Yup, most certainly overrated. I swear I always groan and sigh in agitation when my boyfriend initiates it. It feels like nothing, at least to me. I don't really understand why people enjoy it so much, but I guess that I'm one of the few people who feels nothing while doing it~ but yeah, doing it yourself is worlds better, although still can't help but feel pitiful and ashamed after doing that too <.<


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Nekomata said:


> Yup, most certainly overrated. I swear I always groan and sigh in agitation when my boyfriend initiates it.


Yikes! Every guy's worst nightmare.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

Nekomata said:


> Yup, most certainly overrated. I swear I always groan and sigh in agitation when my boyfriend initiates it. It feels like nothing, at least to me. I don't really understand why people enjoy it so much, but I guess that I'm one of the few people who feels nothing while doing it~ but yeah, doing it yourself is worlds better, although still can't help but feel pitiful and ashamed after doing that too <.<


Haha ouch I hope he never reads this  that is disheartening to say the least.


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

Nekomata said:


> Yup, most certainly overrated. I swear I always groan and sigh in agitation when my boyfriend initiates it. It feels like nothing, at least to me. I don't really understand why people enjoy it so much, but I guess that I'm one of the few people who feels nothing while doing it~ but yeah, doing it yourself is worlds better, although still can't help but feel pitiful and ashamed after doing that too <.<


Sounds like he doesn't know how to make it enjoyable for you.. You should show him how.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Durzo said:


> that is disheartening to say the least.


Very.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

Lol... Imagine if you had been with your gf for several months, not once has she mentioned sex being boring/not fun for her. Then suddenly out of the blue hits you with a huge list of things you haven't been doing that she likes  Small increments and pieces of advice please...


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Durzo said:


> Lol... Imagine if you had been with your gf for several months, not once has she mentioned sex being boring/not fun for her. Then suddenly out of the blue hits you with a huge list of things you haven't been doing that she likes  Small increments and pieces of advice please...


Yes that is a scary scenario...I think open communication is important, but it's much about the way you go about it...


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## Xtraneous (Oct 18, 2011)

Hmm


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

Durzo said:


> Lol... Imagine if you had been with your gf for several months, not once has she mentioned sex being boring/not fun for her. Then suddenly out of the blue hits you with a huge list of things you haven't been doing that she likes  Small increments and pieces of advice please...


well of course.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

It's easy for people to say that it's overrated when they've had the pleasure of experiencing it, it's kind of like going to Ethiopia and saying ''chocolate cake is not that nice!''

For me the suspense is sometimes overwhelming, but i desire the closeness of sex with a woman i love rather than just going to a prostitute or whatever.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

meeps said:


> well of course.


Hehe its funny because the first scenario I told is one that doesn't happen (at least I have never heard of it) so it made me laugh. The real way its done is obvious but I felt I had to add it in just in case the girl who made the post decides to tell him what he isn't doing


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

Durzo said:


> Haha ouch I hope he never reads this  that is disheartening to say the least.


He knows of it xD. And he's pretty much made his peace with it anyway~



meeps said:


> Sounds like he doesn't know how to make it enjoyable for you.. You should show him how.


Naw, he's alright. It's probably just medical issues mixed with mental blockage *shrugs*

But anyway, sex isn't for everyone, and since the world today is so sex obsessed... it kinda just feels like one of those things that are overhyped....


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

So did you rate it yet? And found it to be less than expected? Underwhelming? Currently trying to gauge the rating of sex, I've heard it can be less than expected too. But screw that, I'll just keep whatever is in my head atm and say it's like in the movies. :|


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

Even though I'll never find out, I've always had a hunch I'd agree with the thread title if I did.

I can almost see where it's easier for guys to be let down because our expectations get set so high by society and other guys bragging about their conquests. Girls, I think, usually already have some inkling that it can be harder for them to enjoy it optimally going into it.

Started a thread kinda along these lines last year with some interesting responses: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...our-perception-of-sex-before-vs-after-138654/


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Gosh this place can be depressing at times.


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## Buerhle (Mar 6, 2006)

I can see both sides of it. I def like it though. Once I did hav it and didn't want to.

Its def not always great, and all that, but it def can be.


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## CrimsonTrigger (Jun 28, 2011)

I have to agree honestly. Sex itself isn't a bad thing and people do it because they enjoy the pleasure and closeness of it, but I swear some people make it out to be the most important thing in the world. Food and shelter are much more important. I'd argue that hobbies you enjoy such as playing music are more enjoyable than sex. 

The reason I say this is because sex is just something that is more in the moment than a continuous stream of pleasure, no pun intended. I'm saying that even if you make passionate love with your partner for like an hour or two, after it's done, it's just like yeah, we did it, it's over with now, time to go to sleep or whatever. 

The only reason why I want to have sex so badly right now is because of my hormones, but I get the feeling that I wouldn't enjoy it too much if I just got a casual hookup or a hooker (which I DEFINITELY would not enjoy). Sex with a person you really care about, hell even if that person is just a close friend, would probably feel much better than random hook up sex. 

My point is that yeah, sex should be fun, pleasurable, romantic whatever, but it's not the greatest thing in the world.


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## MagusAnima (Mar 4, 2010)

Yeah, I would agree, it's supposed to be this big amazing thing and in the end nothing can ever come close to the hype.

I have sex with my boyfriend because I like making him happy, and I like the closeness, but physically, I don't really feel anything at all.


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## Parcius (Jun 3, 2012)

rymo said:


> Erm..yeh..sex is great. Although I will say sex with someone you really care about is 10000x better than with someone you don't.


+1


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Nekomata said:


> Yup, most certainly overrated. I swear I always groan and sigh in agitation when my boyfriend initiates it. It feels like nothing, at least to me. I don't really understand why people enjoy it so much, but I guess that I'm one of the few people who feels nothing while doing it~ but yeah, doing it yourself is worlds better, although still can't help but feel pitiful and ashamed after doing that too <.<


You need to let your bf know what you like. Maybe your bf isn't aggressive enough or he's too small down there? Or maybe you need to start using lube if you haven't already. Sometimes I need to use lube to get a good groove working. The girl being too dry does make a difference.


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## BobbyByThePound (Apr 4, 2012)

this is like saying food is overrated


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Sex itself isn't overrated...it's fun. :boogie

The hype around it is overrated, though.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Sex is the bomb diggity yo.


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## ivankaramazov (Aug 22, 2009)

I'm never more satisfied than after I pass out next to a woman I just ravished in a bed that is now covered in a variety of unidentifiable bodily fluids.

Doesn't happen every time and the feeling doesn't last forever, but when it does I feel like all the bull**** I go through on a daily basis is worth it.

I say it's underrated.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I find sex more pleasurable than masturbation. Can't really get excited over myself. There's nothing like a hot guy with a hard **** next to you.

It's not the absolute best feeling in the world though. I enjoyed MDMA more than sex. And sex with condoms on isn't that great.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I wonder if I'll like sex more than masturbation. 

I definitely enjoy masturbation.


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

komorikun said:


> And sex with condoms on isn't that great.


It doesn't feel the same for women?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

meeps said:


> It doesn't feel the same for women?


It feels totally different. Condoms make everything dry and I'm not real keen on lube. I don't like the latex feel. Skin on skin is much better.


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

meeps said:


> It doesn't feel the same for women?


I find that odd too. I didn't think it would make a big difference, compared to the difference for men.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

ivankaramazov said:


> I'm never more satisfied than after I pass out next to a woman I just ravished in a bed that is now covered in a variety of unidentifiable bodily fluids.
> 
> Doesn't happen every time and the feeling doesn't last forever, but when it does I feel like all the bull**** I go through on a daily basis is worth it.
> 
> I say it's underrated.


Five-toast post.


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## Brickbatstone (Jun 22, 2012)

If you've just become sexually active then yea it's overrated. It gets a hell of a lot better once you know what you're doing though.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

As a virgin, it just gives me something to look forward to.

But I am not missing out on anything, because I have never had sex. So I don't know if it'll be good or not. The idea is appealing, but that's all I can say about it.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Sex used to suck, but I guess that was because of my own skills, my partner's and who I was with at the time, and how much I loved/cared bout them.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Brickbatstone said:


> If you've just become sexually active then yea it's overrated. It gets a hell of a lot better once you know what you're doing though.


agreed, sex gets so much better with time and experience!


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

Nah, you just ain't doing it right.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

I reckon it's generally more mundane or bad than great.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

TPower said:


> Yes, I'm serious.
> 
> I understand why someone would want to find out what it's like if they never had it, and I'd be in the same situation if I were still a virgin. Fact is, self-satisfaction is more pleasurable than actual sex.
> 
> I don't get all the hype around it.


For ten years I was fairly certain that sex was overrated.

And then I had good sex!

I'm telling you, it makes a difference. For me, anyway. Also, figuring out what I actually want has been integral to my enjoyment of the act.

But some people just aren't into it, and that's totally cool.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Peter Attis said:


> Nah, you just ain't doing it right.


Agreed!!


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

I find finding the right condom it does feel great...I think it feels great cause I know I am safe from a lot of stuff...that's why sex with condoms don't bother me. 

I don't think sex is overrated..maybe in some aspects of it. I think having human touch is great..that's what I like the most. Masturbation gets boring after awhile.


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## jg43i9jghy0t4555 (Jul 31, 2011)

pita said:


> For ten years I was fairly certain that sex was overrated.
> 
> And then I had good sex!
> 
> I'm telling you, it makes a difference. For me, anyway. Also, figuring out what I actually want has been integral to my enjoyment of the act.


Sounds about right

Doesn't really apply to me though, or anyone that can direct themselves well enough for their own sexual needs. It's just like this though, because (any type of) sex when taken to extremes is so taboo and you can't really talk about it in detail, which is kind of sad for the people that have to discover everything for themselves. Maybe most people aren't missing what they've never had.. (I'm talking about great masturbation)


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I think obsessing about sex is overrated.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

Yeah...I'm not buying that.

Sex with myself is pretty cool, but sex with someone else sounds _way_ better.

Signed,
13 year-old AllToAll


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

WintersTale said:


> I think obsessing about sex is overrated.


Yup. :yes


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

WintersTale said:


> I think obsessing about sex is overrated.


Yeah but doing it isn't!


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

srschirm said:


> Yeah but doing it isn't!


You lost the point of my quote.


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## PeachyAlice (Feb 8, 2012)

I've had good sex and bad sex, but it's still overrated. Sure it feels good and all but I often have a hard time relaxing, so more often than not I'd do it for the sake of the guy I was dating. It was often a bit of a sacrifice for me. Something I made very sure that he never knew, of course. 
But then again I've been through a few traumas related to sex too, and once you start feeling that it's a sacrifice and you're being pressured, it's not really going to be fun anymore.


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## Gryffindor85 (Nov 7, 2011)

In my experience, sex has never lived up to the fantasies I've had of it. Of course, I'll probably never have it with someone that gives a crap about me so....


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

Have it with someone when you both care about each other, with someone that knows what turns you on and you know what turns them on. That is something worth making a fuss about.

Bad sex is woeful though.


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## Gryffindor85 (Nov 7, 2011)

Jollygoggles said:


> Have it with someone when you both care about each other, with someone that knows what turns you on and you know what turns them on. That is something worth making a fuss about.
> 
> Bad sex is woeful though.


Finding that is impossible for me though.


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## MoniqueS (Feb 21, 2011)

If I was in love and really attracted to guy I don't think it would be overrated. But my experiences so far have not been amazing, but heres hoping one day it turns around.


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