# On Mediocrity: And Why Social Anxiety/Depression Is Your Blessing In Disguise.



## Kavinsky (Mar 12, 2015)

[NOTE: This is something that I wrote the night before new years. I had it planned to post it on my facebook, but decided to keep it for myself. I was cleaning out my computer and came across it. Somebody on this forum might get something out of it, so I decided to post it here. I wish you guys all the best. I know EXACTLY what you're going through. I also have more articles/mini essays/whatever that I've written to help inspire myself though this crazy ride. If people like this post, I'll post more.]

On Mediocrity: And Why Social Anxiety/Depression Is Your Blessing In Disguise.

I was hesitant to post this. Mainly, because this is obviously quite personal to me. Although having said that, it may just help somebody. Considering that new years isn't too far away, this may help you to create the new years resolution of overcoming this. My new years resolutions last year were typical of somebody with social anxiety and depression. It was to "just leave the house." It was also to "talk to the person at a check-out without getting a panic attack." To somebody that doesn't have this, they will not understand. That's fine. But for the person that does, this is for you. For that person, I am here to tell you that you are not cursed by social anxiety and depression. As a matter of fact, you are blessed. Although it may not appear to be the case right now, this illness will make you a better person. It will change your perception of reality for the better. Let me explain:

In society as we know it today, We are comfortable. We have a steady job that pays the bills, a partner, a decent group of friends, decent parents and our many social media accounts. However, for those that have social anxiety and depression, things are different. You watch your comfortable life slowly slip out of grasp. Your partner leaves you, your job leaves you, then your friends begin to drift away from you. Eventually, society forgets you. You are stuck in your room in a state of stillness. Stifled out of fear ... unable to leave. You have no motivation and you are disconnected from reality. Reality is too much ... so you choose not to face it with your weapon of choice. You have this perception that time is everlasting. Until you look outside, and bear witness to people driving to and from work. You witness people change on social media, while you stay the same.

Although you may have lost everything, this is not the end for you. You're in the midst of your rebirth. You know how bad your life is, so therefore I won't dwell on that. However, I will explain to you briefly as to why I think you're blessed without even realising it.

Normal people find it hard to get motivation to change. Because as stated before, their lives are too comfortable. Why would you have a burning desire to escape a life of mediocrity? You have your friends, you have a decent job that pays pretty well, and you have a partner! There's no need to escape that 'hell hole'. Although when 'cursed' with social anxiety and depression, you have two choices. You can either stay in your room disconnected from reality, or you can begin your frightening journey of overcoming this. As time progresses, you begin to lean towards the latter. You begin to realise that the pain of your future being a person in his 30s that wasted his life up to this point, outweighs the control that social anxiety has over you. So you venture into the wilderness. You have no choice but to be courageous. Because if you don't, time will be crueler. You will miss out on exercising your talents. You'll miss out on achieving the life that you envisioned for yourself. The reason why you were willing to stay alive in your psychological prison that never existed. So you venture.

The journey will be cruel. You will have failures. You will have setbacks. You will also make a fool of yourself. But this is your blessing. For you to reach 'mediocrity' you must take this journey. And when you do, you will be ahead. For you would've forged three tools that are crucial to success. Courage, persistence and determination. When you overcome this, you'll be able to achieve anything. Like the sculptor chiseling away at rock, you continue to crash and burn until you become that identity. The chisel is reality, and you are the rock that must be molded.

The grass truly is greener on the other side. Instead of watching your life slip away, you begin to watch it come together again. You make new friends that truly admire you. Friends that you can also relate to. You slowly end up living more for yourself. You end up where you were before. You reach your destination of 'mediocrity'. Although instead, there is true substance. There is passion. There is freedom.

I'm here to tell you that you will be fine. You will prevail. I am living proof of this. I am the guy who is no longer depressed. I am the guy who conquered his mind. Now, I am the guy who will conquer his dreams.

"For the Josh you know of is dead,
And the Josh I've always known is born.

Breathing for the first time, 
From the womb I am torn."


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## downinthenadir (Apr 13, 2013)

DUDE! 

This was like reading my own life experiences! Especially the part about the challenge to be 'mediocre'. So many of my friends aspire to be 'great' or ***** and moan about their average existence. Yet for people with SA mediocrity is heaven. I've had so many conversations with friends and time and again they all said I had a mind of an old man looking to retire. If only they knew the truth about me! 

I am hesitant to ask whether you have 'overcome' your social anxiety because no one really overcomes it in my opinion. But have you defeated it?


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## Kavinsky (Mar 12, 2015)

It depends on how you define 'defeat'. If you mean that I can now leave my room and thrive without getting an insane panic attack, then yeah. I've defeated it. I still get nervous, but I no longer let it control my life. You must be willing to leave your comfort zone and live! You have to face your phobias, you have to conquer your fears. Ultimately, you must face reality. I know that for me it can be beaten, but that's me. I continued to fight through my fears and phobias and prove them wrong on a daily basis. I dedicated my life to beating this. It was either that, or stay in my room for the rest of my life. My dreams are WAY too important for that. LIFE is way to important for that. The first step to dealing with this is the hardest. But trust me, it gets easier as you go.

Ultimately, I don't have an explanation as to how YOU might be able to defeat it. We're all different. Although for me, it involved a combination of both introspection and action. Good sleep, meditation, healthy food and exercise helped as well. What helped me the most however, was my desire to live. My desire to achieve the goals that I had always wanted to achieve. At my worst, I had no friends at all. I drifted away from everybody. I couldn't leave my room for years! But now, I'm everywhere but my room. I have 2 jobs, I train 6 days a week as an athlete, and I study full time. I'm always around people. It's not a big deal anymore.

I have no idea who you are, but I hope that one day, you're able to overcome it enough to live the life that you want for yourself. Don't waste it by living in fear. You must take action and live.


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## downinthenadir (Apr 13, 2013)

Haha you are preaching to the converted... I used to be in a very similar situation and I essentially did the same thing as you! But rather than being determined, I somehow always had this innate desire to improve myself no matter how tough it got. I didn't really just go out there and tackle everything at once. But I took it slow, a day at a time, and over the years I managed to reduce my SA to the point where it rarely affects my life. It's actually quite weird when I look back now and realise that all the significant challenges I faced in the past were actually milestones for me in combating SA. But its so obvious now that I look back at it.

It seems that the desire and persistence to improve ourselves everyday is what is needed to 'defeat' or 'overcome' SA. I hope you are doing well and am glad that you have essentially beaten SA (as much as an SA sufferer like us can). 

I hope you don't mind, but I used your 'mediocre' concept in my profile. It's a great idea to refer to the aspirations of SA sufferers!


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## Kavinsky (Mar 12, 2015)

That's awesome. Good to hear that you managed to keep it under control as well. I know how hard it is to deal with it, so you've got my respect. Yeah that's fine! I'm cool with that.


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## Kavinsky (Mar 12, 2015)

Although 'mediocrity' is not the destination, it's only the beginning. Once we reach that point, we take what we've learned from overcoming this, and make our dreams a reality. For me, that's the destination  all the best.


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