# Something clicked!(negative thoughts and low self esteem)



## jeepy97_21 (Nov 2, 2005)

So my last visit to my therapist, She asked me about my self esteem and whether or not it was bad. I told her it has improved a lot over the years. I didn't think a whole lot about it really.

Recently I started rereading one of my books, the one I am reading is called Living Fully With Shyness and Social Anxiety. The book first started out explaining social anxiety and shyness, how there is NOTHING wrong with being shy, the symptoms and what causes it. What causes it you ask? Negative thinking and low self esteem. The book then mentioned the causes of the low self esteem and negative thoughts. We learned them somewhere in our early lives through family and peers mostly.

I also read a chapter on something called "imagery". This basically is imagining very positive situation. Say you have to do a speech, Imagine in great detail, of giving your speech and doing absolutly great at it. The basic idea behind it is this: Imagining negative situations makes us anxious, so imagining positive situations should do the opposite.

Im now reading about techniques to changing the negative thoughts. Ever since I started reading this book I've been feeling a lot better. Just tonight another thing clicked. My therapist was preaching all this to me the first time I ever seen her (5 years ago) but I didn't take it seriously. Yet another think clicked, I was able to overcome OCD with therapy techniques, why shouldn't I be able to do it with SA? I'll always be shy but I can improve greatly if I change my thinking. Just like OCD, I still get OCD thoughts and probably always will, but I manage it and it doesn't interfere with my life. 

For the longest time I gave up on sa, saying it was a part of me I'd never get rid of. I think this time though I think I finally have the mentality to overcome it finally. It took several years, lots of research, and learning, but I think I finally know what I have to do to beat this.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 3, 2008)

Thanks for writing this and congrats on it clicking. This is a very powerful technique when taken seriously. However too many just don't feel like trying it.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I'm glad this is helping you!


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## the new me (Jun 12, 2008)

Good for you! Sounds like you are heading in the right direction.
I have found that book very helpful as well. I've taken it out of the library about 10 times now and finally decided to order a copy for myself. I am waiting for it to arrive so I can start reading it again. It's one of those books that you could read a hundred times and get something new from it each time.

Best wishes on your new path...


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## stopanxiety45 (Jul 2, 2008)

Yes, the major part of solving the problem is to control and alter thoughts. Your feelings will change later, but first the thoughts have to be switched. Thoughts are easier to control than feelings. When the conscious mind focuses on something, it enters the subconscious mind. When there are negative thoughts in the subconscious mind, they stay there and are difficult to get rid of unless we consciously try to change them. It won't happen overnight but you can see improvements overnight if you just try to change some of those negative irrational thoughts to positive logical thoughts.


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## flickaflicka (Jul 8, 2008)

Congrats on the break through! And thanks for the lead on that book. I'll have to check it out.


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