# Is anyone here genuinely okay with the idea of being single forever?



## StarryNight (Mar 14, 2011)

Just curious, because in my more melodramatic moments, I've definitely contemplated the thought of being alone for life, and as much as I'd like to say I'm alright with the idea, I'm not. So how about you all? And when I say "okay" I mean content, not resigned to it or anything. If so, how did you get to this state of mind?


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

No I hate being lonely, it sucks. Plus I'm embarrassed of my lack of friends or relationships, which causes insecurity which in turn makes my anxiety worse.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

No, I hate the fact that I've always been single. I'm used to it now, though.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

No. I need to be in a relationship.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

I tried to be okay with it in the past...LOL nope, didn't work, I need companionship. :lol


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## Evo (Jan 1, 2012)

I'm okay with it.


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## hydinthebasmnt (Aug 26, 2012)

No, I hate it, but I try to come to terms with it, there really is no hope for things getting better, so, it is what it is.


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## SurrealFeline (Dec 14, 2012)

Actually, I wish to GOD that I could be completely okay with being single and alone - but I wouldn't be 
I've no idea if it's solely because of my panic disorder, but I just find loneliness so unbearable. Already I am stuck in the house all the time, because I can't go to work...so you can imagine how much I need people around me as much as possible (which isn't often at all).
I think if I didn't have a bf, I would go mad with the isolation, to be frank.

But despite this, I'm so aware of how unhealthy it is to feel like you NEED someone or NEED people. We come into this world alone and leave it alone, so I really feel it is so important to be self-sufficient. Maybe someday I'll figure out how.


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## enfield (Sep 4, 2010)

i can get by with good friends i like and the conviction that i'm doing something valuable with my life.

but i would still welcome a girl (and truth is, if _i did_ have good friends, and if_ i was_ doing something i was invested in and everything, then a relationship with a girl might come along pretty naturally).


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

It doesn't bother me at all. I never even really think about being in a relationship, like ever. I don't know why.


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## Mongoose (Oct 26, 2012)

No, I'm not OK with being single forever, but there's nothing I can do about it.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

Dita said:


> I have to be since I don't have other options.


why do you think you have no options? Everyone has the same chance in life. Dont think you are resigned to a life of loneliness, you never know what the future will bring.


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## Luwa (Dec 14, 2012)

Dita said:


> Because no one has ever liked me enough to have relationship or even try that much. Some have been interested but I'm fun to have around only for a while but not enough to be someone worth of liking/loving.


How many people have you pursued?


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

Dita said:


> Because no one has ever liked me enough to have relationship or even try that much. Some have been interested but I'm fun to have around only for a while but not enough to be someone worth of liking/loving.


its your own negative self belief that makes you think that. Unless you are a truly nasty person theres no reason you are unlikeable/unlovable. Everyone has their own unique qualities.


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## FrownyBoy (Dec 9, 2012)

I am the only one in my family that has SA. I will not accept that my siblings and cousins go around with their partners, while I don't. It's gonna happen, but I don't know when...


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

At this point in my life, I am quite happy without any attachments. I can do what I want, when I want. I can get up in the morning and not have to worry about disturbing someone. I don't have to worry about what to fix for dinner. If I don't feel like cooking, I don't. I do not sit home all the time and complain about how lonely I am. I do things that will get me out and about. I camp, I go to museums and the zoo. I am content.


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## kj87 (Sep 30, 2012)

StarryNight said:


> Just curious, because in my more melodramatic moments, I've definitely contemplated the thought of being alone for life, and as much as I'd like to say I'm alright with the idea, I'm not. So how about you all? And when I say "okay" I mean content, not resigned to it or anything. If so, how did you get to this state of mind?


Yes 

I wouldn't mind being alone forever. As long as I have family and friends, hobbies and a job that I like, I think I could be pretty content.

I reached this point after being burned pretty badly a couple times. I was in a very low point in life, and though I've never truly been suicidal, I felt like I was running out of options and some serious changes needed to be made. I made up my mind that I would never allow myself to become fixated on one person like that ever again.

Since then I've made it a point to have multiple female friends, some of which are just friends and some I've fooled around with here and there, and some it's kind of a friendship with cuddling/intimate/no sex type of thing.

After getting out there and mingling/meeting different women I've noticed that there's actually a crap ton of them that either don't feel ready to be in a relationship, or do feel they're ready and are desperate to be in one but really aren't ready. I've learned to put less emphasis on time. Before when I met a cute girl I would feel like it was this race to snag her up before someone else did. Now that I've started focusing on myself more and become happy with the person that I am, I don't really feel that way anymore. I know that if a girl ever chose to be with me it would be because of my good qalities and I wouldn't have to feel self conscious she would leave, and if she picked another guy, well then oh well. Guess they just clicked better. There's other women out there 

*tl:dr* 
Focus on building yourself as a person and gaining the acceptance and approval of yourself.

Find hobbies, work, friendships that allow you to feel fufilled

Don't let yourself get strung up on one person. (Keep a certain level of detachment)

Also keep yourself mentally healthy.


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## StarryNight (Mar 14, 2011)

Seems like a lot of us are in the same boat. I wish I wasn't so hung up on the idea of a relationship because I'm aware that there's so much more to life. And I actually WAS okay (or at least not really thinking about it much) with being single until I fell hard for this guy I met, who as it turns out, is either completely clueless or just enjoys leading on multiple girls at the same time. Moral of the story? When things seem too good to be true, they usually are. And I knew that from the start, but stupid me still got all hopeful. 


kj87 said:


> Yes
> 
> I wouldn't mind being alone forever. As long as I have family and friends, hobbies and a job that I like, I think I could be pretty content.
> 
> ...


This is very good advice, thank you.


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## ShouNagatsuki (Oct 20, 2012)

Yes. I'm happy being single. A relationship is too much of an emotional pressure to me. I also have little to zero sexual drive so I don't really need it anyway.


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## CrimsonTrigger (Jun 28, 2011)

I thought I would have been, but I really don't think I could. It's not so much that I desperately need to be in a relationship, but that it would be nice to have a girlfriend who loved and cared for me as much as I cared for her. I'm a lover, I need to give somebody love and care. That's just how I am. 

People always say that you need to be happy with yourself before you can make someone else happy. Well, I've been pretty happy with myself to a point where it got extreme. I'm too happy with myself, so now I need to learn how to be more happy with other people.


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## lightningstorm (Oct 10, 2012)

I won't be happy without a woman in my life. I want to have a wife, kids and family one day. So, no, I can't imagine living a single life forever. I believe if we improve ourselves and all try to get a woman we can succeed. Think about this, all we need is ONE woman in our life. Dating multiple women is fine to get experience, but we dont need so many ONS sex. We men need feelings and emotions from women and we only need one woman to be with us forever, and it doesn't matter even if she isn't the prettiest girl on the block, all you need is her love, affection and company.


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## BillDauterive (Oct 24, 2012)

ShouNagatsuki said:


> Yes. I'm happy being single. A relationship is too much of an emotional pressure to me. I also have little to zero sexual drive so I don't really need it anyway.


I wish I were in your situation. My desire of having a relationship and having a sex drive (virgin who has never been in a relationship) which very much likely will never be fulfilled is hurting me so badly. I want to discard these things so they can stop nagging at me, gnawing at me, etc.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

For now, it is the best thing for me - I can do things and better myself.Even if I was in a relationship, I am a STRONG proponent of still keeping up as an individual. It does make for a better relationship, but also a healthier sense of self.


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## SurrealFeline (Dec 14, 2012)

evgtrees said:


> I won't be happy without a woman in my life. I want to have a wife, kids and family one day. So, no, I can't imagine living a single life forever. I believe if we improve ourselves and all try to get a woman we can succeed. Think about this, all we need is ONE woman in our life. Dating multiple women is fine to get experience, but we dont need so many ONS sex. We men need feelings and emotions from women and we only need one woman to be with us forever, and it doesn't matter even if she isn't the prettiest girl on the block, all you need is her love, affection and company.


It's unfortunate that us SA sufferers seem doubly plagued by the human drive to find someone, get settled and have a family. It's just our natural instincts to do these things, and I guess our anxieties really weigh on our confidence to accomplish such things.
I myself long more for the idea of a husband and family, house and car stuff than I do for the regular sex life (though that's obviously another human need). The relationship that i'm in now is so full of turmoil that I scare myself to death sometimes thinking that eventually I'll wind up single again and this time I'll be far too old and useless to find someone. After all, I at least had a job and something of a life the first time I was single - now I'd be doomed!


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## SurrealFeline (Dec 14, 2012)

Rahul87 said:


> I wish I were in your situation. My desire of having a relationship and having a sex drive (virgin who has never been in a relationship) which very much likely will never be fulfilled is hurting me so badly. I want to discard these things so they can stop nagging at me, gnawing at me, etc.


Sorry to hear of your troubles  If only we could wish away our emotions eh? I'm sure there must be other things you can pursue to try and focus more on yourself and the other things to experience in this world, rather than just dwelling on needing to lose your virginity or find a relationship. Definitely easier said than done of course, but at least you have the support of others here, right?

The thing is, you're also still so young; I'm sure there are many possibilities ahead for you still.


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

Yip im meant to be single.


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## CoastalSprite (Sep 8, 2011)

No, because of family and societal pressures. I'm only twenty and I'm being pushed to get a boyfriend, and made to feel like a leper because I don't have one. Can only imagine what it'll be like in another decade :afr Hopefully by the time I'm forty the rose-coloured goggles can come off, and the people in my life can finally accept that I'm just meant to be alone.

If the external pressures weren't there though, I honestly would be okay with remaining single.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

I'm not "missing" anything, I got enough problems in life, why ask for more?


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## Mr Blues (Apr 1, 2011)

No. I've set age 25 as the cut off point for me. At which point, for me, it'll be: time up, loser...


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## lightningstorm (Oct 10, 2012)

theseventhkey said:


> I'm not "missing" anything, I got enough problems in life, why ask for more?


Problems? Being in a relationship makes you feel like a man, only if you are a man yourself in the first place.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

Yes. Being alone feels natural to me and I'm not desperate for companionship.


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## Luwa (Dec 14, 2012)

Dita said:


> I'm not a bad person but there isn't anything about me that would be enough and so far that has been the opinion of others too.
> 
> Everybody pretty much knows that if you're a female and alright you don't have to be the one to do pursuing. And I couldn't even do that due to anxiety/other issues to begin with.
> 
> I'm now out of this thread so that this won't go even more off topic.


Well that seems pretty entitled, might be why you're alone. Maybe ask someone out instead of expecting it to get handed to you.


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## Winds (Apr 17, 2011)

StarryNight said:


> Just curious, because in my more melodramatic moments, I've definitely contemplated the thought of being alone for life, and as much as I'd like to say I'm alright with the idea, I'm not. So how about you all? And when I say "okay" I mean content, not resigned to it or anything. If so, how did you get to this state of mind?


I spent most of my life alone and off to myself, so I'm okay with the idea of doing just that moving forward. I really don't know any other way to be honest, so that's probably why it doesn't bother me. Like you, I had those "what if" moments, but nothing to the point that would make me change my natural disposition. As for your last question, don't really know how I got to that point. My guess would be just growing accustom to it over time.


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## Loveless (Apr 6, 2012)

I've always been alone and always hated it. I've always wanted love. I've sais differently but I was lying to myself. I'm never going to give up. I want it too bad to ever give up. I have to believe, I have to have hope that it can happen.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

evgtrees said:


> Problems? Being in a relationship makes you feel like a man, only if you are a man yourself in the first place.


If you *need* a "relationship" to feel like a man, that's kinda of weak to me. Honestly(and i know I'm int minority on this one) a man that can handle life on his own is more man (to me) than a man who feels he is "incomplete" without companionship.


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## larmo8 (Sep 19, 2012)

F^ck no!


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## MNM (Oct 3, 2012)

as much as it suks at times yes. i am used to it and ive accepted its meant to be for me this way. 
otherwise id be settling and that surely wont make me happy


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## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

At times, I feel resigned to the fact I'll probably remain single. I'm definitely not okay with it.


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## crimsoncora (Mar 29, 2011)

No, I am not. Because everyone wants to be loved and wanted and wants to love and want another. Being lonely/single is something nobody is ever ok with, no matter if they say it.


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## Atari82 (Jan 19, 2010)

Not at all. I need someone and if i honestly never get a good girl i might end up going insane. Not that im already not....


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## MrQuiet76 (Aug 26, 2011)

I go back and forth on whether I'm OK with it... when I was younger (like high school age), I craved the idea of being in a relationship even though I was not even close to being mentally prepared for one. Since college has passed, I've become a lot more content with the idea of being alone forever, as I honestly just have a hard time dealing with other people for any extended length of time. Yet I still have a lot of moments where I feel really desperate to be with somebody and feel like my life would be such a waste if I stayed single forever. I guess those feelings aren't nearly as strong as they used to be though.


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

if i could see the future and know that there was no one going to be in it.... id go kill myself right now


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## Lelsey (Feb 7, 2011)

I'm flipping back and forth with the idea... on one hand, i am convinced that relationship, family or raising child is too much for me to handle, .. i still want some companionship.. i'm too scared of those stories where lonely elderly people died in their own house and others do not find out until weeks later.


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Not at all. I'm starting to get really depressed about being permanently single.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

hmmm, something I have thought about for a long time.

Since I started dating I pretty much wanted to be in a relationship, settle down. Had this picture of things mapped out. Then you experience relationships and with every breakup you think what the hell?

I always put relationships above friendship, lost the few friends I had because I was busy having time with a girlfriend. Due to my looks not being bad, I was usually dumped, down for a bit, but then before I knew it, other women were showing interest and I would have a new girlfriend.

Friends were never replaceable, but girlfriends always were. However after every time I was dumped I would be left with nothing in life. Gradually being dumped got worse as I was losing friends, until the point where I had none. So I would fall into a depressive state, drink myself silly and contemplate suicide. 


For the first time ever, over the last few months i'm genuinely not bothered if I ever get in another relationship again. The last time of being dumped nearly killed me, literally. Not 1 person to talk to about it. I drunk myself into oblivion and had no sleep for pretty much 2 weeks, then in a short space of time everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. 

If I was to get in another relationship, she would have to be completely amazing in looks, have every single thing in common with me, and believe exactly the same about me.... and only then would I consider that relationship.

If someone like that doesnt turn up for me again, then i'm not bothered at all. I cant go for anyone less


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

Single forever? God no. People who say that are either misanthropic or are just jaded.


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

I like to kid myself I'm okay with it, suddenly finding myself in a relationship after all these years of nothing would feel so alien though. Some people are just supposed to be alone I think.


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## Otherside (Jun 8, 2012)

Yup. I'm sure someone will say its some disorder or the other but I don't see it that way. Why is anything but the extroverted norm some sort of mental health illness?


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## ShadyGFX (Jul 18, 2012)

The idea of being alone forever scares me.


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## Considerate (Aug 5, 2012)

No, I want a family.


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## T-Bone (Oct 1, 2010)

I like to think that i won't be single forever, so that asking myself whether i'm comfortable with that scenario is never something i have to contemplate.


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## Black And Mild (Apr 11, 2011)

crimsoncora said:


> No, I am not. Because everyone wants to be loved and wanted and wants to love and want another. Being lonely/single is something nobody is ever ok with, no matter if they say it.


Oh, really?


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Sometimes I think so, but then something or someone reminds me about how lonely I am :/


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

Honestly, as time goes on, I'm becoming more and more content with it. To the point where at the moment, I actually feel like I _prefer_ being this way. I've tried to socialize with people in the past and I honestly didn't enjoy it. I love being by myself and not having any dependence on someone else emotionally, and nowadays I'm feeling more empowered by it oddly. :um I don't need a relationship to be happy, also I have an incredibly low sex drive and feel no desire to actually have sex.

My family keeps trying to persuade me that I need social contact, that I can't possibly be happy living on the outskirts of social life. I don't get that. I'm not faking anything here, I truly am starting to feel this way. I always say to myself, "Oh, I really wish I had a friend or boyfriend", but if I think long enough about it, I actually change my mind and don't want one anymore.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

crimsoncora said:


> No, I am not. Because everyone wants to be loved and wanted and wants to love and want another. Being lonely/single is something nobody is ever ok with, no matter if they say it.


Only people know what they feel deep down.

I know of people who have focused on careers, friends and other things in life and they have been fine.

I feel lonely, but a relationship certainly wouldnt fix everything, it could take away loneliness but bring other problems.

Many people also have had the end of the relationship seriously compromise their health too so they dont want to get into another.

Thats sort of the boat im in. Whilst I have been lucky to escape women who cheat, I have encountered women who rather than say whats on their mind, will let it all build up and act like everything is ok until they cant take it anymore and end things. Seemingly they have ended it out of the blue, you get no closure and it can put a damaging strain on health which outweighs any of the pro's that have happened during the relationship.

Now I could have a relationship this second if I wanted, but not gonna risk going through all that again


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## zant (Nov 25, 2012)

no, it sucks


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## SartoriTaurus (Feb 11, 2012)

It's fine. I just learned to cope with it.


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## Gryffindor85 (Nov 7, 2011)

I have never been happier in my life then when I fully accepted my forever alone status. I'm way happier in my imaginary relationship with Emma Watson, than I could realistically be otherwise.


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## noticeublind (Nov 22, 2010)

I like to put up a front and tell everyone that I'm so okay with being single & I don't need a relationship in my life to make me happy. So totally not true with me, although I know being in a relationship doesn't automatically make life better.

It's just a little lonely, to not have some sort of intimate connection with someone on a certain level. I feel like I'm missing someone. 

And man, I admire people who are okay with being single forever. I also really hate it when other people are quick to say someone's miserable just because they're single. It just really pisses me off.


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## StarryNight (Mar 14, 2011)

noticeublind said:


> And man, I admire people who are okay with being single forever. I also really hate it when other people are quick to say someone's miserable just because they're single. It just really pisses me off.


I totally agree with this. I know I'm capable of being happy without a relationship, because I was just recently. It's just that, something always seems to come around that will suddenly make me accutely aware of my singlehood. But then again, in the past, relationships have made me more anxious than anything else, and they've been shortlived as a result. I guess there are no easy solutions.


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## callalilly26 (Jun 13, 2012)

I've spent most of my life being single and any relationships I have had were unhealthy. I really hate when people automatically think I'm depressed because I'm single. It's really annoying. 
But I was recently falling for someone and they let me down pretty bad. I've accepted I'm most likely going to be alone for the rest of my life with my cats. I am missing someone who won't ever be there and the intimacy which I so badly crave. However, there's nothing I can do about it whatsoever. It's hard for me to find any kind of connection with a person on a romantic level and the last thing that happened to me made me slightly bitter. And I'm pretty much numb after being so hurt. 
I can watch Bridget Jones three times in a row without being sick of it. I feel like her, but the Bridget without the happy ending...no Mr.Darcy wrapping me in his coat and kissing me with the falling snow. The Bridget Jones who endlessly sings "All By Myself.." in my pajamas with a bottle of wine. That's so me.


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

Honestly?...

No.

Sure, I sometimes feel like it's not worth the hassle... or like it'd never work out... or I'm not able for something like this... or I'm just afraid of all the possibilities a relationship could bring, but...

I still want to know what that's like at least.



CrimsonTrigger said:


> It's not so much that I desperately need to be in a relationship, but that it would be nice to have a girlfriend who loved and cared for me as much as I cared for her. I'm a lover, I need to give somebody love and care. That's just how I am.


Yes... though I don't know how good I would be at caring for/helping people and all :um. But hey, that's only right now in my life. I mean, I can't even take care of myself ATM but that's going to change soon enough.



lightningstorm said:


> We men need feelings and emotions from women and we only need one woman to be with us forever, and it doesn't matter even if she isn't the prettiest girl on the block, all you need is her love, affection and company.


But we're supposed to pretend we don't. If we're not looking purely for sex then we're not doing it the way we're supposed to :yes.



Mr Blues said:


> No. I've set age 25 as the cut off point for me. At which point, for me, it'll be: time up, loser...


Seems awfully early. More women are into older men than the opposite too.

Dunno, as **** has things have been going for me... I've been getting more hopeful in the last few months. I feel like I've been waking up slowly and changing quite genuinely, but only time will tell.
As unlikely as it seems... maybe it's just the getting a bit older and worrying a bit less... but I feel more willing to accept now that I might one day find a girlfriend (after some serious personal development of course) than I would have been 2-3 years ago.



illmatic1 said:


> if i could see the future and know that there was no one going to be in it.... id go kill myself right now


I've sometimes thought about how I'd have felt if I'd known 10 years ago what the next 10 years would be like...

Ugh.

Still, it might work out yet.


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## EternallyRestless (Jul 19, 2011)

I think one of the best things we can do is focus on friends and family and not make romantic relationships a priority in our lives. I'm not saying intentionally drive them away, but just adopt the attitude "If it happens that's nice, but if it doesn't I'll be fine. There are other ways to be happy."


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## Corvus Cowl (Apr 25, 2012)

In all honesty yes. I have never been in a relationship, so I do not know what I am missing out on. I constantly see couples either happy or hating each other, so I constantly am thinking to myself "Am I a loser, or I am I better off than that guy?"


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## soulless (Dec 18, 2010)

noticeublind said:


> I like to put up a front and tell everyone that I'm so okay with being single & I don't need a relationship in my life to make me happy. So totally not true with me, although I know being in a relationship doesn't automatically make life better.
> 
> It's just a little lonely, to not have some sort of intimate connection with someone on a certain level. I feel like I'm missing someone.


For a moment there I thought I'd posted here already and forgotten it, this is exactly how I feel.


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## Visionary (Apr 13, 2010)

As much as I hate people, I do need affection. It is nice to feel loved by another and to be cared for. It's just something about being snuggled by a person whom you adore.


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

EternallyRestless said:


> I think one of the best things we can do is focus on friends and family and not make romantic relationships a priority in our lives. I'm not saying intentionally drive them away, but just adopt the attitude "If it happens that's nice, but if it doesn't I'll be fine. There are other ways to be happy."


Certainly many of us need to concentrate on "normal" friends first at least. No point imagining we can handle a relationship if we don't even have friends (and because we can't manage that).

Still, I'd really like to be in a relationship just for once at least, ya know?

Bleh, better foreveralone than forever with people you don't like though.


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## BadAtInteracting (Dec 7, 2012)

Right now oh heck yes. I asked someone out (they accepted and I have their phone #) and that's been stressing me out to the max now..so yes, i would be perfectly okay with remaining single for a VERY long time.


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## nkprasad12 (Aug 27, 2011)

No. I imagine it'll come in time though.


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## arpeggiator (Jan 6, 2011)

SVIIC said:


> Certainly many of us need to concentrate on "normal" friends first at least. No point imagining we can handle a relationship if we don't even have friends (and because we can't manage that).


Friendships are different. I have friends and it doesn't help much.


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

arpeggiator said:


> Friendships are different. I have friends and it doesn't help much.


Yeah but I mean if we can't get friends because we can't function in normal society due to anxiety, then a relationship isn't likely to be any easier. At least there are fewer expectations and the like with friendships.


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## SVIIC (Apr 15, 2005)

whiterabbit said:


> Yeah. Even if I didn't have the anxiety and related problems, I know that I couldn't really be bothered with a relationship. I'm far too selfish with my time and space to be close to anyone.


Yeah, I kind of worry about that too...

I mean, it's nice thinking about "having a girlfriend" or whatever, but it's just fiction when you imagine it... and I'm a very private person... but of course, that doesn't mean either that I can't or don't want to change, so it's all very hard to say.

I do worry as though maybe I want all the good of being in a relationship... but couldn't ever handle the bad.


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## vinylman (Apr 22, 2012)

i'm actually ok with being alone for the most part. except when sometimes i really want a girlfriend and get depressed. it sucks knowing that i'm going to die alone and a virgin.


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## mountain5 (May 22, 2008)

I would be, if I felt like I was accepted by society.


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## Mandachii (Nov 29, 2012)

Whether we choose to deny it or not, humans are built to give and receive affection, regardless if its familial, plantonic or romantic.

And to answer the question, no. I'm not ready for a relationship yet, but the idea of being single for the rest of my life scares me. I've always wanted to get married and have a family of my own one day.


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## Nitrogen (Dec 24, 2012)

I don't know. Forever is a pretty long time. I'm going to side with my unrealistic, optimistic self and say that I won't be single for the rest of my life, but who knows. Considering that I'm lacking in the looks department, and I'm not all too outgoing, it'll be more of a challenge. (This is going to sound like an ******* comment, but I've seen worse out there than myself who've been in long term relationships, both physically and personality-wise, so I guess I'm not all too down and out.) I don't really care about being married or having a family of my own because I don't really want one, but it'd be nice to have a long term boyfriend.

Basically, if Honey boo boo's mom can get married and have a family (along with millions due to the mentality of America and their weird obsession with reality television), I'm sure I can get into a relationship.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

I wouldn't be content with it, but then again I will never be content with anything.


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## aquilla (Aug 18, 2011)

It varies.Then I'm preoccupied with something, when I have something happening in my life - then I get myself to accept the idea that not being in the relationship is not the worst thing to happen aand I can do without. On the other hand, there are days and mostly nights then I just cry my eyes out to the pillow weeping "I want someone sooo bad" , suggesting that I'm not content with being single forever. 
Meh.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

I don't know if I'm ok about being single forever but it's all I've ever known. I guess you get to the point that you're resigned to the reality that you will be alone forever.


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

I am. I really don't think I'm a "relationship" kind of person.


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## na0mi (Dec 25, 2012)

No way,I want to share my life with someone & I want a family.


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## Peace106 (Dec 8, 2012)

danbie said:


> No way,I want to share my life with someone & I want a family.


Same here, I feel my life won't be complete with out having a family someday.


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

Peace106 said:


> Same here, I feel my life won't be complete with out having a family someday.


For what purpose if I may ask you 2 ??


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## TrueAstralKnight (Jun 23, 2012)

I'm working for some kind of companionship, but it seems like I'm always meant to be the "back-up plan."


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Honestly no. That's what I imagine myself though. Being single forever. I just hope it never happens to me. I would love to experience love, get married, and have children. I would love to have children. I want a kid who has my eyes, my mouth, etc. I do meet new people. We just don't really click and I can be shy and insecure at times.


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## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

I don't know if I am "okay" with it, but I guess I have just accepted it. I would like to have a kid, I like kids... but I'm not sure I want to get married, if I found the right girl sure, but I'm about to be 34 and finding a open-minded, fun, girl who is okay with dating an SA black guy is pretty rare. And as I get older it feels like the pond is shrinking. 

I was at a party last night (yeah points I went to a party) and there were some cool girls, I even danced with some, but it's not like we talked, they would dance by me and then go make out with other random guys. The weird thing was, this didn't bother me. In the past it would, I would say "why was she dancing with me but going home with him?" Last night I just assumed I had no chance with any girls anyway, I assumed no matter what happened between me and a girl she was going to end up with another guy, any other guy. 

I wasn't really okay with it, but I wasn't upset by it, I just accepted it as fact of life.


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## NoHeart (May 5, 2012)

I think I am yes.

I don't really think I've got anything to offer in that aspect.


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## ACCV93 (Sep 6, 2012)

Forever? hell no


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

No but i best get used to it because no girl will want to be seen with a dunce like me unless shes my carer or something, if i ever do have a relationship with a girl people would probably say 'is that your carer' because im retarded and genuinely look stupid and sound stupid.


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## BillDauterive (Oct 24, 2012)

At least, I want to experience what it is like to be in a relationship, girlfriend and/or marriage. I want to really experience that feeling of my heart pounding with love, intimacy, cuddling, kissing, making love (not just sex (I'm still a virgin BTW)), etc.

I'm thinking maybe I should just bite the bullet and go for an arranged marriage with a girl from my home country. I know her only draw to me will likely be to get a green card. I still have too much "pride" where I feel I can only get a girl if I can actually win her over with just my charm and charisma, who I am inside. I don't want my parents to get a girl for me, it seems so cheap and easy. I've felt that its better to be alone than to go for an arranged marriage / "mail-order bride"

But since I'm making no effort to seek out a girl, I think I should just resign myself, give up and do that. Sigh.... :afr:afr


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## splitimage (Jul 18, 2012)

I'm not sure. When I'm single, there's the fear of being alone forever. When I see people who have successful relationships, I want the same kind of companionship that they have.

On the other hand, the times that I have been in relationships have been tough. I don't really like going out all of the time, and my anxiety level tends to increase.

Whatever situation I happen to be in (either single or in a relationship), I always miss the opposite.


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## Kittycatt (Dec 7, 2012)

NO. But I won't settle for anything less than what I deserve. Single is okay but I think its important to have someone. But meh I love myself so if I'm alone forever I will have a bunch of cats.


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## lostfromreality731 (Jan 3, 2013)

StarryNight said:


> Just curious, because in my more melodramatic moments, I've definitely contemplated the thought of being alone for life, and as much as I'd like to say I'm alright with the idea, I'm not. So how about you all? And when I say "okay" I mean content, not resigned to it or anything. If so, how did you get to this state of mind?


I feel the same. I have given up hope, I've accepted I will be alone and single for the rest of my life. I still though do have a desire to meet someone but its pushed to the back of my mind and kept as simply a fantasy, the sadness helps me go on in life.

People say there is someone out there for everyone, but some people just get left behind.


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## FadeToOne (Jan 27, 2011)

> Out of the night that covers me,
> Black as the pit from pole to pole,
> I thank whatever gods may be
> For my unconquerable soul.
> ...


Invictus, William Ernest Henley

Yes, I am ready to be single forever. Will it be a walk in the park? No. I am in New York, the most sex-obsessed, relationships-expecting center the world has ever known. Every day is torture. But I have transcended that. I have ascended it all.

"Some are born to sweet delight, - Some are born to endless night."

I have a mission in life, a task at hand, and even if I had a choice in the matter, I would need to do things alone. The night is my only female companion, always has been, always will be.

How did I get to this state of mind? Meditation, meditation, and more meditation. Letting go of the boundaries, limitations and illusions of this world. Rising above one's human nature.


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## Abenthy (Oct 9, 2011)

I'm fine with being single, given where I currently am in life. My sex drive, however, isn't so fine with it. The people around me tend not to be so fine with it either. I'm not too motivated to be in a relationship for emotional reasons because my parents were in a lengthy, horrible, loveless marriage. I have also witnessed my half sisters abuse their husbands mercilessly, including one who stabbed her husband in the chest. 

I realize people are in happy marriages and I realize not all women are abusive, but I do not think my personality is well suited for a happy marriage. My personality seems to be suited for a relationship in which I'm continually manipulated and mistreated. This has been my experience with women. Again, I realize not all women are like this, but I find that I cannot get emotionally excited about entering into a relationship. The only thing that interests me in women romantically is the satisfaction of my sexual drive. Emotionally speaking, relationships have been spoiled for me at the very center of being. Spare me the motivating speeches, condescension, and entreaties to help myself. I have already been through it all and I am simply through.


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## BluesGirl (Oct 20, 2012)

not really. But maybe if I wasn't so alone socially aswell then I wouldn't mind as much. I think I just need some kind of connection with people.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

This mindset is actually giving me more of a chance to work on myself.

If I was in a relationship, I definitely would not have accomplished as much as I have. It would have been more for her and not me. I don't play dat.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

I would rather be single than be with the wrong person...

Just a thought.


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## deanman (Dec 27, 2012)

There are times I lose hope... I am not okay with being alone, but truth is, I have been trying to feel okay with it. I am 23 years old, I had 1 girlfriend before but didn't work cause she lived far away. 
I got serious shy and introvert issues, i dont go out specially at night or to parties, i dont know and i dont like to know new people. 
I think it should be natural but if my natural is staying always at computer nothing will happen, so I will probably end alone... 

For me, life is family. It's to have someone at your side that you love, that loves you back, and that you can count on her for the good and bad moments. 
Life is making a new generation version of yourself, it's leaving your legacy here, it's actually... to be known by those that are of your blood and knowing they will continue "expanding".... its to feel happy for them... see your children grown up its like getting the ultimate achievement in real life. 

That is the most important. 
Some less, yet annoying problems are... 

your family looks down on you cause you are single and probably think you are gay. 
living single is imo way harder, at least where I live, in terms of money and tasks to do at home... 

pretty much this...


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## Skttrbrain (Jun 17, 2011)

I really hope I meet someone soon. Most of the time I enjoy my solitude, but there are other times where I panic and wonder what the hell is wrong with me. I know women who are always in a relationship .. girls who go through a break up and are maybe single for a month at the most and onto the next. It's just so easy for some people and it saddens me that I may experience "love". I would like to have been in a long term relationship by age 30, but a part of me feels I have to accept that it may not happen.


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

Dita said:


> I'm not a bad person but there isn't anything about me that would be enough and so far that has been the opinion of others too.
> 
> *Everybody pretty much knows that if you're a female and alright you don't have to be the one to do pursuing.* And I couldn't even do that due to anxiety/other issues to begin with.
> 
> I'm now out of this thread so that this won't go even more off topic.


Bolded part, do you give off signals that you're interested? We can't read minds. :b


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## Hawx79 (Dec 11, 2012)

I used to, but now i cant take it anymore, i want someone to love me romantically.


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

I constantly try to tell myself I'm OK with it, to an extent anyway, but obviously I'm not. My distress over not having any meaningful interaction with girls is the major reason I'm on SAS, and every time I try to quit coming here (and by extension to stop thinking so much about this topic), it only lasts a few months.

God, it's so frustrating and pathetic, how cursed we are as a species with this preoccupation. I indulge in hobbies, materialism, and even friendships with other guys to try and fill the void, but the despair always comes back just as strong. I don't know exactly what I want; whether it's sex, romance, or just to be desired in that way. I just know it's unspeakably depressing not to have any real experience at this age, as there's no making up for lost time now.

Not infrequently, I think about how the best use of my life (as long as I can bear it) would be somehow to contribute toward research in genetic engineering that would prevent truly unattractive people from even being conceived. Life just isn't worthwhile when nature tosses you in the dumpster on day one, but modern medicine strings you along for 70 or 80 years of misery and envy.


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