# I am really depressed about college



## julie14401 (Jan 10, 2011)

I am going back to college for my second semester next week and I am just dreading it. Going to college has been the hardest thing i ever had to do. When I am there I just have no desire to do anything fun. Its like my mindset is completely changed. I just count down the days until i can go home. I have some friends but I do not enjoy hanging out with them nearly as much as I enjoyed hanging out with my high school friends. I don’t have a perfect group of friends like I had in high school. And to make matters worse, one of the few college friends that I like is transferring either next year or the year after. I can’t help but compare my old friends to my new ones. I know it has only been a semester but, I don’t click with them as much. I just can’t shake the feeling that college would be so much better if I had at least one close friend from home with me. I know for a fact if I went to college with one of my best friends i would be having a blast. I feel like I can’t have fun or enjoy myself without at least one of them. If I went to school with a friend I would have made sure we stayed in separate dorms so we would have an opportunity to meet our own friends. Just knowing that I have a friend there would make me feel infinitely more comfortable. College is a time to branch out and find yourself without the influence of people you already know. But, maybe I just am not ready yet to be completely on my own. Instead of taking this huge leap, maybe I should have just taken a step. If I went to school with a friend i would still be away from my family and hometown. Going to college still would have been a huge adjustment but, the blow would have been a lot softer. Why did i decide to torture myself like this? Isn’t it hard enough being away from home and my family? Why do I have to be away from all of my friends too? Its just all too much for me to handle. I honestly don’t think I would have anything to worry about right now i was going to college with a high school friend. I feel like college is killing me. I worry all the time and i feel like after 4 years of this I will just be a shadow of what I once was.
And it doesn’t help that all of my friends from high school love college. Not that i want them to be unhappy I just don’t want to feel so alone. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me. I feel like everyone is moving on and growing up and I am stuck in this rut. College is supposed to be amazing and I feel like I am missing out. Its just the worst feeling in the world when I am with my high school friends, and relatives or other friends ask us how college is. They all quickly and passionately say, “I love it!” with huge smiles on their faces. I just stand there not saying anything trying to fight the tears that are welling up in my eyes. Why can’t I be happy to? Everyone is so excited to go back to school and I feel like I have absolutely nothing to look forward to. To say the least I am jealous of them. They are doing completely fine without me and I am a wreck without them. Nobody deserves to be miserable. I am also afraid that I am going to lose my high school friends and then I will have nobody who I enjoy hanging out with anymore. I am so afraid that my high school friends will replace me.I know for a fact that I will never replace them. How can I compete with friends who they are living with? Its like their new friends are becoming their college family and I want to be a part of it. How can i let go of my old life (without losing my old friends) and embrace college? Can i do it alone?


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## RockIt (Jan 8, 2011)

Your high school friends want you to be happy. They want you to make new friends just as they are making new friends and experiencing new things. It feels safe when you are around your high school friends and scary when they are not around. I know, I have been there too.

As it turns out, the best man from my wedding was a friend I met in college. So, you just never know what friendships you may develop.

I would encourage you to stop being so hard on yourself, embrace your high school relationships, but also don't squeeze them so hard that they fall apart. You deserve to make new friends in college just like anyone else. There are clubs and organizations everywhere around campus. Have you checked into any of those that might interest you? How about the student newspaper or website? Try meetin.org or meetup.com too.


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## Elizabeth419 (Sep 9, 2010)

I pretty much know exactly how you feel. Except my friends aren't in college, although they are having a blast at the things they are doing right now. I wish I knew what to say, as I haven't really found the answers myself yet..


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## broseph (Jan 18, 2010)

You don't really know if your friends really love college. Thats what one of my friends said and he ended up mysteriously transferring to the other side of the country after his first year. I tell everyone I love college even though I don't.

It takes time to get closer with your new friends. You've only spent a couple months with you're new friends, you'll get to know them better over time.

You're friends won't replace you. You'll be together again during the summer.


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