# Had a long conversation with girl in class



## alex999 (Oct 21, 2008)

A little while ago on this same forum I posted how I made a big step in getting the courage to talk to this girl in my English class. Since then we have talked off and on, but for the first time we had a pretty long conversation with each other for a good part of the class. I held my own pretty well and she seemed interested and smiled, laughed.

I think she may have a boyfriend. It's a shame because she is so attractive and seems so nice. Nonetheless this was a huge, major step for me with social anxiety. If I could be that comfortable and social around a girl THAT hot, then the sky is the limit. 

If this was me a year ago, I would have just thought she's way out of my league and there would be no way she'd talk to me. Now look at me. I'm definitely gaining confidence not only around women but people in general. 

I still have never kissed a girl or even been on a date. In fact I really have almost zero girl experience. But I have a feeling that will change soon and I will continue to meet other girls. 

If any other guys out there with SA are struggling with talking to hot girls, well I am living PROOF that you can get over that obstacle.


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## xtina (Jan 3, 2010)

awww, good for you!
i have the problem you used to have, but the other way around. attractive guys = i'm speechless.


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## Daktoria (Sep 21, 2010)

What year are you two?

She might have a boyfriend, but still, sometimes, girls are more willing to flirt when they're tied down because they feel secure and seductive. If you want what's in your best interest, you should keep going. It still might bear fruit depending on who she is, and in college, there is plenty of cheating.

Remember, you're both adults, so don't feel guilty if it leads to something sensual. It's her choice as much as yours.


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## alex999 (Oct 21, 2008)

Daktoria said:


> What year are you two?
> 
> She might have a boyfriend, but still, sometimes, girls are more willing to flirt when they're tied down because they feel secure and seductive. If you want what's in your best interest, you should keep going. It still might bear fruit depending on who she is, and in college, there is plenty of cheating.
> 
> Remember, you're both adults, so don't feel guilty if it leads to something sensual. It's her choice as much as yours.


I'm a junior, she's a freshman I believe.

She hasn't told me personally she has a boyfriend, but I overheard her talking to someone else - "me and my boyfriend went there last year." Since she was talking about last year is there a chance it could possibly be an ex? If I didn't hear about this then I'd think she was becoming kind of interested in me, and I'd be worrying about how to ask her out. What are flirting signs anyways? She looked in my eyes a lot and played with her hair a little bit, don't know if that really means anything.

I know I shouldn't judge people, but she doesn't seem like the type that would cheat or anything. Seems quite shy and quiet to me, but is pretty nice and friendly. But after watching my brother get led on by a woman which led to his divorce and consequent life turmoil I tend to be suspicious of women from now on. Can't really help it.

But I'd honestly be lying if I said I wasn't the least bit emotionally interested in her. Do I wish she was single? Of course. But if I don't know 100% if she has a boyfriend, I'd be playing with fire if she were to lead me on. If I were to ask her out and she says yes, I don't know for sure if she's actually cheating or not. I don't know how to deal with social drama, I've never been involved in any.

But all in all the reason I made this post was because it was a huge stepping stone for me SA wise. Having a long conversation with an attractive girl was unheard of for me in the past. I'll build on this and keep talking to other girls as well.


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## Black_Widow (May 23, 2008)

Well done!  Just talking to members of the opposite sex you find attractive is a major step in itself when SA gets in the way - let alone actually asking them out. Congrats on getting that far!


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## fixmein45 (Jul 9, 2009)

Nice, bro


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

Daktoria said:


> What year are you two?
> 
> She might have a boyfriend, but still, sometimes, girls are more willing to flirt when they're tied down because they feel secure and seductive. If you want what's in your best interest, you should keep going. It still might bear fruit depending on who she is, and in college, there is plenty of cheating.
> 
> Remember, you're both adults, so don't feel guilty if it leads to something sensual. It's her choice as much as yours.


But would you trust someone who was capable of cheating on their then partner to be with you instead? Perhaps if you weren't after a serious relationship then, sure, trust might not be of such high importance, but if it's what the OP is actually after, then I wouldn't think it worth pursuing anything more than friendship with taken girls. It's just a recipe for disaster.

Anyway, whether this girl you spoke to has a boyfriend or not, OP, it sounds like you made some great progress regardless. So well done on the confidence gain!


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## alex999 (Oct 21, 2008)

Ehh, it kind of feels like I'm falling out of "lust" for her. I don't like being quick to judge, but she seems kind of immature and irresponsible. She never does her homework and skips class sometimes. Again I don't want to judge somebody based on that, but I can't really help it. I've skipped class and didn't do homework in the past due to my SA, but I've matured since then. She may have SA herself.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

Do you have any friends that are girls? If not, why don't you stop thinking about her romantically and try to befriend her...I mean, if she has a boyfriend, I'm sure she has some friends that don't. Friendship networking is a great way to get more chances.
Anyways, it's good you have proof you can hold your own in conversations...hold onto that feeling and keep building upon that foundation of "hey, I can do this..."


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## eric254 (Nov 8, 2010)

alex999 said:


> A little while ago on this same forum I posted how I made a big step in getting the courage to talk to this girl in my English class. Since then we have talked off and on, but for the first time we had a pretty long conversation with each other for a good part of the class. I held my own pretty well and she seemed interested and smiled, laughed.
> 
> I think she may have a boyfriend. It's a shame because she is so attractive and seems so nice. Nonetheless this was a huge, major step for me with social anxiety. If I could be that comfortable and social around a girl THAT hot, then the sky is the limit.
> 
> ...


Awesome job dude. I'm in the same boat as you, 21 and never been on a date or kissed a girl, but I'm working on it too. I've noticed the more you talk to attractive girls, the easier it gets, and you do gain a lot of confidence in out in public. I'm sure we will soon enough be approaching any girl we find attractive without fear, and going on plenty of dates.


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

:clap good to hear, I used to be terrified of women especially hot ones. Not so much anymore just keep on talking to them and the fear will minimize good job!


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## alex999 (Oct 21, 2008)

I think she dropped the class. I haven't seen her in two days. School policy is that if you miss two consecutive days the instructor has the right to drop you. I think I overheard someone saying she dropped. Oh well. I guess I can finally move on. There's always next quarter to meet someone.


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## JohnS (Nov 9, 2010)

alex999 said:


> I think she dropped the class. I haven't seen her in two days. School policy is that if you miss two consecutive days the instructor has the right to drop you. I think I overheard someone saying she dropped. Oh well. I guess I can finally move on. There's always next quarter to meet someone.


 There is always today or tomarow to meet someone you don't have to wait till next quarter. If you were able to talk to her for as long as you did, that means you can talk to any girl, it does not have to be just at school. I'm happy for you :clap


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