# Talk to 'that' girl.



## Daxter (Feb 4, 2009)

I _will_ talk to the girl I have a crush on this week, that is, if I happen to come across her somehow, I won't look for her.

Even just a 'hi' will suffice. Bonus if a conversation arises.

I freaked out twice in the last week when I saw her up ahead and thus walked somewhere else to avoid her. Stupid of course.

_Edit: I talked to her... On messenger. Which I also had a little trouble with, but I don't think that counts. Because the week is almost over, and I didn't see her the last few days, I'm extending this to one month... I hope I won't turn into tomatoheadman (again) when I'm talking to her._


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## caithiggs (Jan 11, 2009)

Aww. I totally feel for you. 

Go for it! If you do this you'll give people like me more confidence too. Sounds strange, but true!


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## S.T.A.T. (Jan 17, 2009)

Keep eye contact on her. If you get nervous about it, imagine or think about a funny movie.

This will bring a smile to your face and you wont be nervous anymore.


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## Daxter (Feb 4, 2009)

Alright, succes.

I was sitting somewhere, she walked past, I said 'hi' (although she didn't seem to notice me at first which was weird...). No convo.

Trying to make a conversation out of it next time. We do it on messenger - I don't see why she wouldn't want to talk in the real world so to speak, maybe she just tries to put up with me for whatever reason. Maybe I'm paranoid and she was just busy with some stuff.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

She may be shy too. If she isn't then I wouldn't say she's trying to put up with you. If you contiue to keep tlaking to her eventually it'll come to that point where someone will be informed either you guys like eachother or one of you don't. Just keep getting to know her and don't be afriad to ask for her number or a date because in the dating world failure SEEMS to happen more than success. That's just my two cents anyways.


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## Daxter (Feb 4, 2009)

bwidger85 said:


> She may be shy too. If she isn't then I wouldn't say she's trying to put up with you. If you contiue to keep tlaking to her eventually it'll come to that point where someone will be informed either you guys like eachother or one of you don't. Just keep getting to know her and don't be afriad to ask for her number or a date because in the dating world failure SEEMS to happen more than success. That's just my two cents anyways.


I wouldn't try to ask for a date... Never, I think. Especially because I fear word of mouth would go around about me asking for one, haha... I don't think it's normal in this culture of mine.

Yeah I want to talk to her, but not just on messenger (and now I don't want to talk to her because she won't start a convo with me. I feels like I'm pushing for chats although her response does not hint at so). I don't see her often in the real world cause we're not classmates. She follows the same course as I do but she's in a another class. I just happen to see her sometimes when I don't have a lesson. I have tried to put myself in a situation where it is more likely for her to see me so we could have a talk... by looking at her schedule and placing myself near her classroom when it is about to start or finish... But that has made me feel pathetic.

She could be shy herself, one guy I actually share this info with has said the same. Meh.

Next goal: strike a convo at school. Say hi and how are you. Keep it going as long as possible...


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## Eugenie (Feb 17, 2009)

Next time you see her you could try next time you see her asking if she has time to grab a coffee with you right then and there. That doesn't sounds like a date so if she says no, no one needs to feel uncomfortable


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## Titanic Explorer (Feb 22, 2009)

I don't know how true this is..but some people say there are many pretty girls who are not asked out, because guys just assume they wouldn't be interested in them, or that they must have boyfriends- but that is not always the case.


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## SocialDisaster (Nov 25, 2008)

Just don't get your hopes up to much with this girl. If you are obsessing over this girl, she might notice this and you won't get the reaction you want out of her. Don't be too nice and avoid any compliments other than noticing certain things she might be wearing or something. When you talk to her, try to focus the conversation on her, as girls like to talk about themselves...and never say anything that's not about her unless it is interesting...this will tip her off to insecurity real quick..

Not sure how much you know about this chick, but be prepared to learn she has a boyfriend. Seriously, you want to soften the blow by expecting it won't work out and that you don't care.

Me giving women advice is a little silly but seriously, it does work this way and I don't want to hear you going into deep depression if she rejects you..

Good luck.


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## Snowy (Jan 2, 2009)

Just a little tip, if your feeling really uncomfortable around her you should try asking her the time or something to get you more comfortable when your around her. Then when your feeling a lil more confident you can 'make your move' so to speak.


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## Speratus (Jan 24, 2009)

Dude, go for it. If it doesn't work out oh well. But if it pays off, trust me it's worth it. Also, hopefully you will be like the situation I was in, and will gradually get more and more confident the more you get to know her (if things work out of course).


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## Paxson (Feb 23, 2009)

SocialDisaster is right. Girls, well people in general, love to talk about themselves. The easiest and most effective way to approach a girl is to compliment her on something she is wearing. Then to keep the conversation going and to not look like a doof, ask her where she got it because you are shopping for a present for your sister, cousin, whatever. Then when she tells you where she bought the item, make up a something like, 'last time I was there the line was HUGE!', or 'doesn't that place also sell, xyz'. Its just bait to get her to say something. Then as SOON as there is a break in the conversation tell her you really have to be going and its been nice talking to her. Leave it at that.

Next time you see her, if you have the balls tell her you looked and couldn't find it and ask her to help you out. If you don't have the balls, thank her and tell her your sister/cousin loved the gift then tell her that she's going to have to be your new go to person for female gift ideas because you, as man, are so clueless when it comes to women. She'll appreciate the humility, the compliment and for some reason putting yourself down in a funny way helps build confidence. 

I've also heard that to make yourself more approachable, wear something that stands out. Not dorky, just something unusual. It's probably the same reason puppies and children work so good for picking up women, it gives them an excuse to approach you!


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## Daxter (Feb 4, 2009)

Thanks for the tips guys... I'll see what I can do. I noticed I started obsessing about her. I quit doing that. I'm prepared for her revealing to be a mean (would like to express this with a curse word but I can't) person (who knows, I've had it with other girls I liked), having a boyfriend, and possibly even rejecting me subtly (you know the feeling you're not welcome around somebody? Yeah, like that...) I don't know how to handle outright rejection when expressing love (again I'd like to emphasise that this is just a crush... I don't _love_ her yet), since I've never experienced it, but I think I would only be depressed if she would start spreading the word... See I'm usually scared of gossiping and stuff among a large group of people. I think I'd be OK with a private 1-to-1 rejection. Although I would like to remain friends.

The biggest problem I have with people in general is:

1) Starting the conversation
2) Keeping it going

I often black-out during conversations due to anxiety and run out of subjects to talk about. But I also lead a boring life so it's hard to talk about things I experienced... Maybe I need to get more hobbies or something. Maybe I need a list of subjects I can memorise, hah. Usually I just ramble about school-related stuff which may leave the impression that the relationship is just meant to be one of 'workmates' OR I get _too_ interested in the girl, which can come across as kinda creepy, y'know?


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## Paxson (Feb 23, 2009)

Can I offer one more suggestion. I find that the most difficult part of a conversation is worrying about standing there with nothing to say and looking stupid. With this in mind I find it easier to start a conversation when I have an exit strategy before I begin. Saying, "Well I have to get to class" or "I've got to get going, some friends are waiting for me" will give you an exit without having that uncomfortable moment of silence. (It's just spin off the classic phone exit strategy that everyone uses of 'Well I'll let you go now, I have to take care of xyz'.)

People are generally nice and they don't want to hurt your feelings any more than you want to hurt theirs. Plus ask yourself, what's the worst that's going to happen, people will gossip about you of liking girls? Beats the alternative. If someone teases you about asking her out just give them that DUH look and say, 'she's hot', shrugging it off as though they are blind for not seeing it. Next thing you're worrying about is that they'll say she's out of your league. Just say, 'worth a shot' and walk away, nobody can blame you for that. In a way, a lot of guys will admire you for it, whether they tell you or not.

Good luck, I'm pulling for you.


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## Daxter (Feb 4, 2009)

Alright it all happened a little differently than I expected. I tutor her now (for free) and we hang out after class; it's not all serious school business.

I'd say we're schoolmates now, haven't done anything outside of school. I think it might be better to focus on becoming a friend instead of a love interest... I have so few friends; her rejecting me would be so awkward for both of us and would probably destroy any potential of a good friendship.

Personally I think I have made a triumph over social anxiety. Next goal is to meet up outside of school and turn her into what I call a real friend.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

That's a huge step that you said hi! I get freaked out around my crush like a deer in headlights. It's so embarassing!


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## Daxter (Feb 4, 2009)

SAgirl said:


> That's a huge step that you said hi! I get freaked out around my crush like a deer in headlights. It's so embarassing!


So do I, and she has noticed and told me (but we were already past the 'hi' stage)... Something I found a little annoying, but she was really nice about it. I told her it was schoolstress (and partly, it was) Maybe I will eventually calm down around her if I see her enough. So far she's one of the nicest people I've ever met.


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## Paxson (Feb 23, 2009)

Excellent job. Being her tutor is perfect, now you can get to know her.

On a somewhat related note I found an entertaining video online about picking up girls. At first I thought it was just going to be a joke clip but he gives out a pick up line at the end and you know what, I honestly think it has a good chance of working.

http://www.wimp.com/womentalk/


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