# How do 'shy' people get jobs?



## Ilaw1

It seems like every employer is looking for those Type A personalities. Even if you were to work alone, many HR managers still want those types. I think society is programmed to think that Type A is the only way to be. It's frustrating.


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## UniqueUserName

I agree, I know I flopped a few interviews because I was so nervous and a bit shy. Experience and a good work resume is a great start, even if you have to start out flipping burgers. I'd rather hire someone with great work experience than someone with a "Type A personality". I guess it depends on the job in question.


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## IllmaticJJ

thye show employers that they have the best skills for the job


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## Ilaw1

Well... I have a poor resume because of my anxiety...I have a BA degree and I think that might be crippling in some ways. I failed to find work with my degree and getting whatever I can get doesn't always work out... I used to quit jobs as soon as I felt discomfort. Now I ride them out for as long as I can but I still get crappy jobs because of my resume and the fact that I can't really network to get in on a good job. I just want an opportunity to show what I can do but I always land short of getting the interview. I have had some good interviews in the past but I am usually noticeably nervous.


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## Ilaw1

IllmaticJJ said:


> thye show employers that they have the best skills for the job


How can they do that when they can't even get in the door? I guess it's just where I live? It's hard for me to get interviews. I'm not talking about interviews for specially skilled jobs but for jobs at companies like Target and Walmart.


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## iCod

I honestly would not be able to deal with co-workers. It would make my anxiety so bad. Like, it's like high school all over again, you know? Being forced to work with a bunch of people you don't know who are completely different than you...

I wish self employed jobs payed well...


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## IllmaticJJ

iCod said:


> I honestly would not be able to deal with co-workers. It would make my anxiety so bad. Like, it's like high school all over again, you know? Being forced to work with a bunch of people you don't know who are completely different than you...
> 
> I wish self employed jobs payed well...


self employment can pay well but again, it often requires a lot of socializing. u often have to advertise, get clients etc.


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## indielife

You have to pretend that you're an extrovert for the interview then hope that you get to keep the job when they see what a great job you're doing.



iCod said:


> I wish self employed jobs payed well...


They do but you have to be quite imaginative, do something most people don't do. Some people make a living playing online poker, some make websites and then make them popular only to flip them or try to make ad revenue, some do the youtube game and succeed, some stream on Twitch and earn a living that way, some buy domains for cheap and flip them for a great profit, some make blogs (krebsonsecurity for example) etc. These may not seem like normal jobs, but that's the point. These are all self driven and require a lot of effort and imagination to make it work.


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## AussiePea

I've never pretended to be an extrovert and always come across as my introverted and shyer self in interviews and I still have a 100% success rate. Show you're motivated for the job, show you can at least function in the presence of others and generally you will be suitable for the role.


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## visualkeirockstar

Just keep trying. I know it's harder for us. I gone through a dozen interviews without being hired. I even got turned down by many fast food places. You won't ever find one if you don't try.


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## i suck at life

i got my job by faking to be outgoing and joyful and cheery. i also made them laugh, so they pretty much stopped asking me questions after that, and hired me.....it was definitely a miracle that i got my job.


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## Ilaw1

It seems like if you can 'fake' being an extrovert, then do your really have social anxiety? If I could fake my way out of this, I wouldn't have nearly as many problems in my life as I have. I have trouble getting interviews and when I do, I'm visibly nervous. Being nervous is a big turn-off for a lot of managers.


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## twitchy666

quick wiki read on Type A and Type B definitions are useless to describe any comparison or meaning at all.

All the extraverted office people I've seen and lazy & stupid at core

rude. Pom-pom dancing all day long. Enjoyment from shouting, bullying & mocking. Primary school naughtiness offending teachers & peers seems the only way to succeed in millennium offices.

What sinks in from hundreds of interviews: led from entrance through swathes of olympic swimming pool / soccer field size offices with headset people gazing at me as I go to private glassroom for scrutiny. Hour later heading out. Very keen to scout every head - smiling, bored, looking at me or desk... need to make an easyimpression with bouncing screaming, running around the room, to please the interviewer. What do people want?


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## lonzy

I was jobless for about a year after uni. I've been to about 7 interviews and I received only one offer for a part-time job at a hotel. My advice is to prepare really well for the interview.

I learned by heart all the answers to all the possible questions I could think of. Then when the time for the interview came I pretended to be outgoing and friendly. I smiled all the time and recited my answers. They called me the same day, telling me how much they liked me and offered me the position.

It's been about a month now and I am sure my manager has some doubts about me fitting into the team. I am definitely not the outgoing person I pretended to be at the interview. 

So if you're desperate for a job what you need is: a good resume, good interview preparation and a fake personality.


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## Jammer25

As if it wasn't already hard enough to find a job, now I find myself worrying about my SA impacting my ability to keep one.



lonzy said:


> It's been about a month now and I am sure my manager has some doubts about me fitting into the team. I am definitely not the outgoing person I pretended to be at the interview.


Exactly what I feel like I'm going through right now. Started at the beginning of June, but I can sense that some people think I don't fit well into the team. I can handle the job and much more, but socially I have not made a good first impression at all.


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## Ilaw1

Jammer25 said:


> As if it wasn't already hard enough to find a job, now I find myself worrying about my SA impacting my ability to keep one.
> 
> Exactly what I feel like I'm going through right now. Started at the beginning of June, but I can sense that some people think I don't fit well into the team. I can handle the job and much more, but socially I have not made a good first impression at all.


I can totally relate to both of you. I think that if you try to be the hardest worker you can be and show people that you care, you can earn your keep. Some people won't be impressed by your character that way but people that genuinely care about what they do will appreciate you because they know that you care about what you do.

Right now I just want work that I can become passionate about. Once I get the right type of job, I think I'll be a lot happier as a person. I feel like that's the only way I'll make it. I think that people that are very social tend to enjoy their work because they like working with the people they work with, not because they like doing whatever it is that they do. This is why people wit SA struggle with jobs so much. I used to quit jobs at the first sign of stress, now I keep going...


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## indielife

Ilaw1 said:


> It seems like if you can 'fake' being an extrovert, then do your really have social anxiety? If I could fake my way out of this, I wouldn't have nearly as many problems in my life as I have. I have trouble getting interviews and when I do, I'm visibly nervous. Being nervous is a big turn-off for a lot of managers.


I think that most people including those with SA are able to fake it, at least for a short time. I can fake it, but I think people sort of understand that I'm faking it.

Maybe you're not able to fake it if you have very severe SA though.


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## JDW

IllmaticJJ said:


> self employment can pay well but again, it often requires a lot of socializing. u often have to advertise, get clients etc.


Yes absolutely in many ways you need to be a very sociable person to make self employment work unless it's something like online poker etc. the hardest part I would imagine is not just getting the jobs for yourself but keeping clients. Who the hell is going to call back someone who is awkward and uncomfortable to be around. There's always somebody else so the ability to make and keep contacts is essential.


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## indielife

JDW said:


> Yes absolutely in many ways you need to be a very sociable person to make self employment work unless it's something like online poker etc. the hardest part I would imagine is not just getting the jobs for yourself but keeping clients. Who the hell is going to call back someone who is awkward and uncomfortable to be around. There's always somebody else so the ability to make and keep contacts is essential.


If you have the money you could hire an assistant to do those kinds of things, that's what most businesses do. But then again people in that situation probably don't have that sort of money.


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## JDW

AussiePea said:


> I've never pretended to be an extrovert and always come across as my introverted and shyer self in interviews and I still have a 100% success rate. Show you're motivated for the job, show you can at least function in the presence of others and generally you will be suitable for the role.


That's good advice, thanks. Obviously as long as the job your going for isn't going to require that there on and after to big extents if that makes sense.


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## JDW

indielife said:


> If you have the money you could hire an assistant to do those kinds of things, that's what most businesses do. But then again people in that situation probably don't have that sort of money.


Even then I doubt it'll work in the long run unless you've pushed your business so far that you kind of just need to sit back and observe. It doesn't matter how many assistants you hire, you're going to have to have a strong presence at a lot of social events and talk to a lot of people. Your customers, say there big business owners who want to sell stock to you to sell from your brand or something, they'll want to talk to you personally and they could easily decide you're not the kind of person they could trust because they don't think you're "confident" enough or something, or you're not reassuring them, you're anxious around them, making them untrustful. Many reasons.


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## JDW

Ilaw1 said:


> It seems like if you can 'fake' being an extrovert, then do your really have social anxiety? If I could fake my way out of this, I wouldn't have nearly as many problems in my life as I have. I have trouble getting interviews and when I do, I'm visibly nervous. Being nervous is a big turn-off for a lot of managers.


I think there's plenty of people who are where they are by not being themselves. The fake extroverts that are the loudest at the party but then go home crying into their blanket. They're quite easy to notice from someone with social anxiety but to those oblvious to all that, they consider them to be really confident. Although yes, to keep that up for so long does sort of put doubt in me that they had social anxiety, perhaps but they will certaintly have something else going on, although self esteem is a big thing in social anxiety, it can also be a problem with those without it as well. Self esteem issues, constantly needing approval and praise, will push people into being something they're not.

Although for someone with a lot of social anxiety they could very possibily pull of a 30 minute interview pretending to be the most confident person in the room. It takes a lot of focus though and it'll probably just wreck you later on when they expect you to be that person every time you meet. Best to just... hate saying it because it's a load of rubbish in many cases but "be yourself" I don't have a clue who myself is and even those who claim they know probably still don't deep down or they've reached a certain age where they'll afraid to change who they are and claim this is themselves like a quiet confidence when in fact they want to be loud and talk a lot more but think no that's not them, they're being themselves when their not. Sort of stuck within their comfort zones which they expanded so far to make enough success but then end up lost when they stop pushing it.


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## 2Milk

Luck, every burger flipping restaurant turned me down after they interviewed me, I knew I wasn't going to get the job even before the interview ended. 

Then some guy at McDonalds "interviewed" me (which was basically one question) and hired me on the spot. Idk why everyone turned me down, I mean, yes I'm shy and have no friends but when other people depend (or pay) on me to get a job done I get it ****ing done no matter what. I have been doing fine at my job.


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## Ilaw1

2Milk said:


> Luck, every burger flipping restaurant turned me down after they interviewed me, I knew I wasn't going to get the job even before the interview ended.
> 
> Then some guy at McDonalds "interviewed" me (which was basically one question) and hired me on the spot. Idk why everyone turned me down, I mean, yes I'm shy and have no friends but when other people depend (or pay) on me to get a job done I get it ****ing done no matter what. I have been doing fine at my job.


My experience with the fast food industry was a little different. My experience wasn't so pleasant. I think they knew that I was a little different and because I wasn't as flamboyant as they were, I didn't quite fit in. I always stayed to myself as well. So that's why it didn't go so well. They didn't even fire me. They actually cut my hours then didn't put me back on the clock. I was never actually told to not come back. Not all people are like them. I am currently working with a group of people that are a little more compassionate towards me and I feel better there but I need more work than what I am currently getting.


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## LastRide

How do shy people get job?
We go for jobs that don't require interview (if they even exist) or our families and family friends help us (which happened to me).

Every single interview I went to I was laughed at and ignored, never even got a chance, even got told straight to my face I will never pass interview.
This is my first and only job I had, and even at this interview I was laughed at.
So how did I get the job then?
Well I have many cousins working in there, some on important positions, so they got me job.

Now what I find hilarious is if It wasn't for my cousins I would NEVER get this job because they think I'm retarded and unable to do this job.
They hired millions of people who just talk, dont do their job on time or at all etc, and guess who is their favorite worker now?
Me...
They even gave me promotion (and I didn't want it for obv reasons) because I'm hardest working person there, they even told me that many times, and are always thanking me for my work and helping company.
I don't give a ****, I don't wanna be there and they know it, I don't like them, In fact I ****ing hate them all.

What I wanted to say with all this is:
It doesnt matter how hard working you are, how much you know, how much you can do for company if you are not social or have connections somebody else will get job over you.


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## Ilaw1

I just did a second interview for a retail merchandising job... The first interview was a phone interview and I didn't do too bad. The second was actually done online. You watch videos then record videos of yourself answering the questions asked to you by the interviewer. It wasn't live but having the delay and opportunities to re-record my answers helped. I still got really nervous and it showed plus I was sweating due to heat (I wore a button up shirt in 80F weather...) so I looked a little nervous. The hiring manager told me that people say it's awkward doing the interviews so maybe it wasn't too bad? I thought most of my answers were good though. I find out if I got the job tomorrow. Wish me luck guys.


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## Amumu

Ilaw1 said:


> It seems like every employer is looking for those Type A personalities. Even if you were to work alone, many HR managers still want those types. I think society is programmed to think that Type A is the only way to be. It's frustrating.


Sometimes you just have to push yourself or you'll turn in to a bum, and nobody likes bums.


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## hyacinth girl

I can fake confidence and social skills for a quick interview. At minimum wage jobs they always ask the same questions anyway and you learn pretty quickly what they want to hear. Faking it day after day at work without having a complete breakdown, well I'm still trying to figure that one out. 
/The girl who's gone through six different jobs during the past year.


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## HellCell

Apply for undesirable jobs. I applied for a job where I half filled the application and accidentally sent it instead of exiting. They called me the very next day scheduling an interview for a job that was tedious and paid close to minimum wage.

Try applying for an outbound cold calling surveying position with commission based pay. They will call you several times with several recruiters.


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## Ilaw1

HellCell said:


> Apply for undesirable jobs. I applied for a job where I half filled the application and accidentally sent it instead of exiting. They called me the very next day scheduling an interview for a job that was tedious and paid close to minimum wage.
> 
> Try applying for an outbound cold calling surveying position with commission based pay. They will call you several times with several recruiters.


I've totally done that! I got the worst job I've ever had that way... I worked as a butcher's assistant. When i went to orientation, the person conducting it asked everybody which department we would be working in. She said that she would work anywhere except where I was working... It should have been a warning sign. My job was to make sure there was enough ground beef out on the shelf, if there wasn't, I would have to grind some. That was the easy part. The harder part was washing the knives and band saw blades. It was a little more dangerous but still not too bad. The bad part was having to clean the meat scraps and bone meal out of the saws. It wasn't super bloody but still not for the squeamish. After that I had to scrub then hose the saws and grinder down with soapy water, then sanitize. After that I had to wash the floors down with the hose. It took about 1.5-2 hours to get all of the tiny meat particles down the floor drain. You couldn't use a mop or anything because it wouldn't be sanitary. So I used a hose. I also had to hose down the walls because meat bits stuck to those too. The meat preparation area was very cold, usually around 40 F. I was given galoshes that were busted, so i never wore them. I bought my own water proof boots. I wore a butcher's coat which was made of cotton and offered little protection from the cold. And I also had an apron which offered 0 protection from the cold. Under that I wore a long sleeve sweater. I was still cold and before I bought the boots, my feet would get wet. The rest of my body would get wet as well. So I would often times go home soaking wet and cold. As you might imagine, this wasn't a very healthy situation. I worked 5 days a weak for $7.40 and hour. I was miserable and after about 2 month's I developed a wheezing cough. I asked the store manager if I could move to another department and he said maybe after the holiday season. I waited until a week after Christmas to ask him again and he said no again. Another week passed and I stopped coming to work. They should have supplied me with rain gear and better protection from the cold. I was also breathing a lot of steam with cleaning chemicals added. I think that is what caused the cough. After I quit, my breathing improved and I haven't had a bout of coughing since (2 years). I would occasionally have another guy working with me but most nights I worked alone. My father told me that he spoke to a manager at another store in that chain about that job. The manager told my father that his own daughter did the job and developed cold symptoms too before quitting.

I think my best route is going to involve warming up to certain people that might give me a chance. I'm trying to do some freelance contract work as a A/V technician. My educational background fits it well. I think I've found the right person to help me with achieving my goal. He knows that I am 'shy' but he also knows what I'm capable of and he's told me that he would help me if I needed help in anything career related.


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## Ilaw1

How do people with SA even apply to jobs? Do you always go and ask for an application in person or do you go online first? I always hated going in and asking for an application. I feel like most employers don't even look at online applications. I think that where I live most employers hire by referral, something I've never been able to achieve.


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## random lonely man

by faking it  

i can act really normal for a little time. 

usually other people only detect that i am "weird" after a month or so. 

i can act like i have a normal life for a month or two....after that every job i had i mutated to the weird outsider.

like in my current job.


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## DeeperUnderstanding

Yes, they pretend they're not shy and put a facade on.


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## theghost0991

Ilaw1 said:


> How do people with SA even apply to jobs? Do you always go and ask for an application in person or do you go online first? I always hated going in and asking for an application. I feel like most employers don't even look at online applications. I think that where I live most employers hire by referral, something I've never been able to achieve.


I strongly recommend going in and asking for an application. Fill out the application, print out a resume, then to in and ask for the manager and give both to him/her. This way you make sure the manager sees everything and the manager can also kind of see you. Be sure to dress well and be in an upbeat mood when you do this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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