# I guess I give up..I have zero sexual appeal to women



## breaking through (Mar 27, 2006)

I've been trying as much as i can to talk to as many girls as possible whenever I go in the last month, and so far the good thing is that I managed to get through the barrier of even starting to talk to them. which might be good some of you will say, but its pointless because it will not get me anywhere.

The reason I'm 100% sure of is my looks and my sexual appeal in general, I pretty much have non of it, my face is way below average (huge nose, heavy undereye darkness, the "weirdo/stalker" eyes, bad skin etc) and so is my body no matter how much I've tried to improve it for years by working out but my body resists any improvement.

I've had many experiences in the past that assures this, from girls that try to get away from me as quickly as possible whenever i try to talk to them like they want to avoid being seen with me (and its not due to bad conversation in those times, trust me, those were my "good times" and i was doing fine, not to mention it happens before i even get any rapport), to, most importantly, the reaction of the same girl towards better looking/ "hotter" guys I knew wich is the complete opposite to their reaction towards me. 

Looks don't matter my ***.

So far I've considered that I should really stop trying to get a girl alltogether and try to ignore my sexual/imotional drive, atleast that should stop constantly reminding me how I'm a worthless sh*t in the eyes of women, and the extreme bitterness at my misfortune and the depression that ensue from always getting reminded that. But even that won't relieve my pain because wherever i go I keep getting reminded of it as everyone around me whether i know or not triggers it, everywhere i go i hear guys talking about what they do with girls and see girls hooking up with guys or couples. I'm surrounded by it whenever i go.

I'm not asking how to "improve" anymore, i'm simply asking how am i supossed to cope with it.


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## UrbanMonkey (Jul 10, 2004)

Been there, done that, I know exactly what your talking about. I'm not good looking and I know it because I'm skinny and unathletic looking, and that affects your confidence. That's why women start to run away like that. Well, I can't offer you any advice, but I'm screwed just like you. :stu


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Breaking Through,

This is a "make the most out of what you have" kind of post. I don't have the model good-looks either. Bad skin, big Hungarian honker (which I have come to love!), etc. 

We are made unique - just because one girl doesn't find us attractive doesn't mean they all will. Each girl likes something different - intelligence, personality, sense of humor, innocence/naivete, etc. We have to start looking at ourselves as an asset, not a liability. Even though we don't see it, we have a lot going for ourselves - we are alive, we have hopes, we have dreams, we have our sanity! :yes


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## ktglitzygirl (Apr 18, 2006)

i used to have the biggest crush on a guy a few years ago. he was overweight, he had acne, a big nose, and he had some kind of disorder which caused big bumps/sores to develop on his hands. he was so quiet around most people. none of that mattered to me. what i liked about him was that he was smart, he was very interesting [he knew a lot about weird things..example: how metal objects, with a sharp edge you want to get rid of, can be put into a tumbler with another object that is abrasive or has an abrasive area, and tumbled for hours until they are not so sharp], and he always helped people when he thought they needed help or someone to talk to. just those things made him very attractive to me. and i liked that guys big nose, because it was his. plus, i think every single person has SOMEthing physically attractive about them. 
my point is, yeah of course looks matter.. but if you keep trying to talk to girls they are not all going to run away. and maybe when one of them gets to know you more she will be attracted to you because of your qualities. i think after you know someone for a while, for me at least, i dont really see them as being attractive, or not so attractive, anymore. it is more about the relationship and the connection with the person.



> We are made unique - just because one girl doesn't find us attractive doesn't mean they all will. Each girl likes something different - intelligence, personality, sense of humor, innocence/naivete, etc. We have to start looking at ourselves as an asset, not a liability. Even though we don't see it, we have a lot going for ourselves - we are alive, we have hopes, we have dreams, we have our sanity!


^very good point


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

I think more than anything it has to do with our eyes. We don't have that confidence that most people have with their eyes. I think our eye contact tends to make people feel uncomfortable. Yet it seems we are trying to do the opposite; make them and ourself feel comfortable.


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

Girls generally don't call me unattractive. What they do do, however, is call me boring and uninteresting. I'd probably rather be ugly and charismatic then good looking and utterly boring.


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## Mr_Twig (Apr 10, 2006)

This is all business as usual for me...just want you guys to know you're not alone.


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## penguin (Feb 6, 2005)

millenniumman75 said:


> Breaking Through,
> 
> This is a "make the most out of what you have" kind of post. I don't have the model good-looks either. Bad skin, big Hungarian honker (which I have come to love!), etc.
> 
> We are made unique - just because one girl doesn't find us attractive doesn't mean they all will. Each girl likes something different - intelligence, personality, sense of humor, innocence/naivete, etc. We have to start looking at ourselves as an asset, not a liability. Even though we don't see it, we have a lot going for ourselves - we are alive, we have hopes, we have dreams, we have our sanity! :yes


 :agree



ColdFury said:


> Girls generally don't call me unattractive. What they do do, however, is call me boring and uninteresting. **I'd probably rather be ugly and charismatic then good looking and utterly boring.**


**Totally agree with you.

Also in general what strikes me through this thread is that the "fault" (if it can be called such) is **not** with You, but with the type of girl.

On the skin thing: to people who have had a hard time with this, you've probably tried this already, but how much of that is caused by diet or environement and stress? Also: would a dr. be able to give you something for it, or to rule out an underlying cause such as allergies or hormone eruptions perhaps?

[edit: typo]


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

> On the skin thing: to people who have had a hard time with this, you've probably tried this already, but how much of that is caused by diet or environement and stress? Also: would a dr. be able to give you something for it, or to rule out an underlying cause such as allergies or hormone eruptions perhaps?


I have the undereye darkness like the original poster, as well as acne scars. Unfortunately, neither of those can be helped as far as I know.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

breaking through said:


> I've had many experiences in the past that assures this, from girls that try to get away from me as quickly as possible whenever i try to talk to them like they want to avoid being seen with me


The exact same thing happens to me except I'm a girl and it's the guys that run away. I don't consider myself ugly. I'm guessing my problem is a body language thing. I try to immitate the popular girls, but it is very exhausting to fake the right body language. I don't think we should give up, though.


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## breaking through (Mar 27, 2006)

thanks for all the replies,



millenniumman75 said:


> Breaking Through,
> 
> This is a "make the most out of what you have" kind of post. I don't have the model good-looks either. Bad skin, big Hungarian honker (which I have come to love!), etc.
> 
> We are made unique - just because one girl doesn't find us attractive doesn't mean they all will. Each girl likes something different - intelligence, personality, sense of humor, innocence/naivete, etc. We have to start looking at ourselves as an asset, not a liability. Even though we don't see it, we have a lot going for ourselves - we are alive, we have hopes, we have dreams, we have our sanity!


I know, but there are universal rules in attractiveness and there are less important subjective ones that varies from a girl to another, I proudly break every single one of them, now I'm not Hediously repulsive or deformed, but its hard to describe, my face besides having bad features looks like every part of it doesn't belong to each other..like different parts of different people's faces were glued together..so I think the problem is that my looks are more "weird" than terribly ugly.

ktglitzygirl,

I don't mean to question your sencierity in that post but I highly doubt your "crush" on that guy was really "sexual attraction" at all, you RESPECTED him as a person due to his niceness and the good way he treated people, but isn't that what all the nice guys are complaining about all the time? such virtues no longer have anything to do with getting laid.



ColdFury said:


> Girls generally don't call me unattractive. What they do do, however, is call me boring and uninteresting. I'd probably rather be ugly and charismatic then good looking and utterly boring.


I've known a couple of guys in the past who say the lamest, most retartded sh*t you can imagine (you'de seriously want to punch them for it) to girls and they still did fine with them just because they were good looking.

I've talked to them about it, and they said "its how you say it not what you say", but this is only appliable when you have good looks, only then will you be able to get away with it.



penguin said:


> Also in general what strikes me through this thread is that the "fault" (if it can be called such) is **not** with You, but with the type of girl.


In all my approaches I avoided the snobby, *****y overconfident types and went for average looking "nice girls", but even those avoided me like a plague.

maybe besides my ugliness i give a vibe of being a mentally unstable weirdo and they get scared? but in all the times I made sure i was talking with a good, confident voice and act normally..you know just like any other guy in the situation. so even if that was the issue we go back to my appearance as the source of the problem, so i doubt there is something that i have the power to improve that causes it.

oh well, if women don't want me then **** them i don't want them too. I'm not going to let them keep burning my heart with thier shallowness. I really just wish there was a way to completely emotionally deattach myself from the envy, bitterness Triggers around me that i described before and kill my sex drive. maybe Meds? I decided to go to a therapist and make up as much bullsh*t as possible to get a prescription to a nice, fat dose of ssri's. I hope that would do the trick.


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

Id say its only 10% looks, 90% on how you act. i look pretty decent. I just don't have the right attitude.

Ive had girls say im hot and cute or whatever. I have trouble doing anything beyond that though so i still get nowhere.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

> I've talked to them about it, and they said "its how you say it not what you say", but this is only appliable when you have good looks, only then will you be able to get away with it.


Absolutely. Absolutely.


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## Mr_Twig (Apr 10, 2006)

Zephyr said:



> > I've talked to them about it, and they said "its how you say it not what you say", but this is only appliable when you have good looks, only then will you be able to get away with it.
> 
> 
> Absolutely. Absolutely.


I have to second that-haven't seen any evidence on the contrary. Some of us are just born unnatractive.


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## nunziosoprano (Jan 28, 2006)

Most females are surprised when I tell them that I have never had a girlfriend in my entire life.Some of them have asked me if I am Gay and I said no and than they ask whats the problem since they say I am not a bad looking guy.Atleast below average looking guys never have their manhood questioned by others when they say they have never had a girlfriend.


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## ktglitzygirl (Apr 18, 2006)

> ktglitzygirl,
> 
> I don't mean to question your sencierity in that post but I highly doubt your "crush" on that guy was really "sexual attraction" at all, you RESPECTED him as a person due to his niceness and the good way he treated people, but isn't that what all the nice guys are complaining about all the time? such virtues no longer have anything to do with getting laid.


maybe youre right. i mean i was sexually attracted to him [im not going to get into that to prove it though!] but i probably never showed it, and if he ever came onto me i doubt i would have done anything with him. but who knows :stu he never made a move. and i certainly never had the confidence to do it.


> maybe besides my ugliness i give a vibe of being a mentally unstable weirdo and they get scared? but in all the times I made sure i was talking with a good, confident voice and act normally..you know just like any other guy in the situation.


if you arent very confident, it is hard to fake it successfully. maybe the way you were acting wasnt being perceived how you thought it was


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## RacerX (Jun 12, 2006)

Well, I've gotten some come-ons/flirts from absolutely beautiful girls, then the next week its like they never want to talk to me again or wish they'd never met me in the first place, because they find out im a shy little wuss with next to no ability to interact with women.

Alot of guys I know also ask me if I'm seeing a girl at the moment and they always reel back in shock when I say I'm not, like not having a girlfriend is some unlikely thing. It's not liek you can just go down to the cornerstore and pick up one.


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## Matt J (Oct 19, 2006)

nunziosoprano said:


> Most females are surprised when I tell them that I have never had a girlfriend in my entire life.Some of them have asked me if I am Gay and I said no and than they ask whats the problem since they say I am not a bad looking guy.Atleast below average looking guys never have their manhood questioned by others when they say they have never had a girlfriend.


I kicked of a rather lengthy thread about this topic before, its not unusual for people to suspect your gay, if you decent looking and dont have a girlfriend. If had female work colleagues over the years fail to understand it. Just because I get along with them really well, and we joke and have a laugh, they think I can switch that on all the time...It takes time for me to settle into that.

Oh and when it comes to big noses. Ive got a biggish nose, isnt that suppose to be mean im viril? lol. Perhaps thats the fear, woman are afraid there gonna get pregnant as soon as they look at me!


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

I know how you feel. I've given up on dating. With my looks, it's not like I've been given a chance. I'm far too sensitive to deal with the rejection, anyway. Although I've seen several women that I would classify as "unattractive" with mates, I still believe that looks matter a great deal. Granted, the women I would place in my level of attractiveness (e.g., trolls, human-ape half breeds, etc) are rarely -if ever- spotted with male companions.


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## Squizzy (Dec 21, 2004)

ColdFury said:


> Girls generally don't call me unattractive. What they do do, however, is call me boring and uninteresting. I'd probably rather be ugly and charismatic then good looking and utterly boring.


I know how you feel Breaking Through, and Coldfury. I'm both unattractive and boring and have had this confirmed many times. Maybe my life would be better spent at a nunnery. :stu


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## ladybugs (Jun 14, 2006)

I feel very unattractive too and that's why I'll forever be dateless.

But, on the bright side, not all guys place a lot of importance on looks. Case in point: Prince Charles preferred Camilla to Diana. :stu


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## IndigoGirl (Aug 13, 2006)

The way I feel about my physical appearance is definitely a barricade to me being in a relationship with a man. I guess it's 'all in my head' like people are saying, but, in all, no, I don't think I'm 'hot stuff' guys will sizzle over (god I sound like a freak). But you know, it's more my mentality, being depressed, or my insipidness that comes with socializing. My mentality sure does me no good.


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

ColdFury said:


> Girls generally don't call me unattractive. What they do do, however, is call me boring and uninteresting. I'd probably rather be ugly and charismatic then good looking and utterly boring.


 :ditto Your post hits home with me.

I am a decent looking/maybe even good looking guy, but my personality is (as you say yours is) "boring and uninteresting". This is a result, I believe, of my personality not developing as it should because of SA. I have a hard time of laughing and joking and being at ease around people, and instead come across as too serious. Thrown in that I don't really do anything or have anything going on with my life, well, you then have the result is a very boring person.

There was a girl I was crazy about at my previous workplace but I got strong vibes from her that she thought I was boring. On top of her thinking my personality was boring, she knew I didn't have anything going on with my life - such as never doing things on the weekends and such. And in large part because she thought I was boring, she never gave me a chance. She did however hook up with a BUTT-UGLY guy (another co-worker) for a few months. Even though this guy was very ugly, he DID have a very cocky, confident personality. He was a big talker. He was also a thug and a dopehead. Even so, because of his personality, he was able to hook up with this very beautiful girl. This girl was beautiful on the outside, but not on the inside. I won't go into the details here of her sorriness, but you can read about it and my history with her by clicking my name and doing a search of my posts (My saga with her was posted back in April of this year).

Lifetimer


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## C3P0 (Apr 10, 2006)

I've given up too. That's why, I'm buying minutes into adultfriendfinder, lavalife, and putting a myspaceprofile up. This is the first time I'm going to be doing it, and dont know what profile I'm going to be putting up, but I'm going to try it out.

The idea of the 'sex personals' is you skip all the facade and play of friendship/relationships, and just deal with the core basics, can I get someone to like my pic or profile and want to hook up for sex, and if I sent enough smiles/mails to everyone, will I eventually connect to a woman who may naturally get turned on by something most woman may be turned off. 

The best way to work out those kinks - is behind the computer screen. I'd talk to woman in real life - but I'd leave the sex attraction part for the internet personals.


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## addictedtochaos (Jun 11, 2004)

C3P0 said:


> I've given up too. That's why, I'm buying minutes into adultfriendfinder, lavalife, and putting a myspaceprofile up. This is the first time I'm going to be doing it, and dont know what profile I'm going to be putting up, but I'm going to try it out.


Don't waste your money on those type of site I'm speaking from experience.

I know exactly how you all feel. I've given up too. There is just no point in trying anymore.


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## Misanthropy (Aug 16, 2006)

I've given up on women. (It's not like I was ever looking anyway.)

I've recently come to the realisation that I'm quite prepared to go the rest of my life without being in a relationship. I actually don't think it's _that_ bad a fate when you consider the how insignificant a single life is when compared to the grand scale of the universe. In the long run, who cares if I haven't done all those things? When you're dead and buried nobody remembers you anymore and whatever you did or didn't do is completely irrelevant. And there are worse things than never feeling attractive or being in love I can tell you.

At any rate, I've found that assuming all women are indifferent towards me to be quite liberating. I no longer care about how attractive I am and I never have to think about whether or not this or that girl is interested in me. It's easy to do, and I find that you no longer spend time agonising over what you could be doing or what you should have done. In fact, it's even helped me avoid a great deal of embarrassing situations. For example, I was playing pool at a nightclub recently and a group of very attractive women invited me over to dance with them. Because I knew that is was unlikely for them to be attracted to me, I turned them down straight away. I later found out that they were trying to humiliate me (girls like that _do not_ ask guys like me to dance) - so score one for me.

In another situation, one girl at college used to talk to me and touch me all of the time. I _almost_ let myself believe that she might be interested and I _nearly_ opened myself up to getting hurt. Still, I didn't completely accept that she was attracted to me. Again, a semester later her two friends told me it was all a big joke and that she 'wasn't serious.' (Yes, it was a joke; it wasn't because I was holding myself back or something.) The way they said it was so nonchalant; if I hadn't already been so guarded I would have cracked. And I'm not a complete arsehole to people, while they were supposedly 'nice' girls.

Overall, I feel that my strategy has been useful to me. I'm not nearly as nervous as I used to be around woman because I have no real reason to be - I don't have to think about whether someone likes me or not. It simplifies everything and reduces it all to one conclusion: no one likes me. Plus I've avoided quite a number of humiliating circumstances where I could have reacted badly.

*DISCLAIMER*: _I would not recommend this philosophy to anyone._ The only reason I can get away with it is because I don't _need_ to be in a relationship nor do I feel compelled to be attractive to women anymore. I've simply stopped caring and I'm a lost cause. Similarly, while I still have friends (male and female), this strategy is a sure fire way to isolate yourself and become lonely if you're pre-disposed to these things. Another obvious failing of the system is that it's extremely defeatist and can be dangerous when a girl _is_ genuinely interested in you, so be wary. Nonetheless, it has assisted me in the sense that I'm no longer depressed about my 'love-life', nor am I agonising over how I come off to women. Basically, I've found some degree of solace, however small it may be.


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

I know that compared to other girls in my city, I am unattractive. Guys don't even give me the time of day. 

I don't even look at guys who are attractive looking anymore. Quite frankly I label them superficial and narcisstic right off the bat. I go for the more nerdy guys. Yet, honestly once I had an experience of going out with a nerdy guy and all he mentioned was how he wanted to screw every girl in the bar so it all depends on the person. 

As far as POF goes, I'm frustrated and feel like taking my profile off there. There aren't any nice guys alive in this city.


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## C3P0 (Apr 10, 2006)

addictedtochaos said:


> C3P0 said:
> 
> 
> > I've given up too. That's why, I'm buying minutes into adultfriendfinder, lavalife, and putting a myspaceprofile up. This is the first time I'm going to be doing it, and dont know what profile I'm going to be putting up, but I'm going to try it out.
> ...


I'm not sure what your experience is, but I've also heard from other people who have tried it that they meet someone. I'm not too serious about it anyway. In a worst case scenerio, I'll have access to lots of soft-core pics from people on that site to get off on anyway - which would be better than all the fake porn pics out there anyway.

Anyway, I do this every November (going into December) for 30 days on selected sites so it's part of my system.

So, tell me about your experience, what happened?


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## C3P0 (Apr 10, 2006)

Misantrophy;

So, assuming you are not asexual, what would you do to deal with the state of involuntary celibacy?

I would sometimes resort to viewing porn, releasing an adult personal on the internet, or buying into players stuff or think of using an escort, like next month or something, and feel justified doing so because of the perceived unfairness of things.


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## addictedtochaos (Jun 11, 2004)

C3P0 said:


> I'm not sure what your experience is, but I've also heard from other people who have tried it that they meet someone. I'm not too serious about it anyway. In a worst case scenerio, I'll have access to lots of soft-core pics from people on that site to get off on anyway - which would be better than all the fake porn pics out there anyway.
> 
> Anyway, I do this every November (going into December) for 30 days on selected sites so it's part of my system.
> 
> So, tell me about your experience, what happened?


That's just it nothing happened, I got lots of e-mails from people that all turned out to be fake.


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## Skackal (Aug 4, 2006)

breaking through said:


> Looks don't matter my ***.
> 
> So far I've considered that I should really stop trying to get a girl alltogether and try to ignore my sexual/imotional drive, atleast that should stop constantly reminding me how I'm a worthless sh*t in the eyes of women, and the extreme bitterness at my misfortune and the depression that ensue from always getting reminded that. But even that won't relieve my pain because wherever i go I keep getting reminded of it as everyone around me whether i know or not triggers it, everywhere i go i hear guys talking about what they do with girls and see girls hooking up with guys or couples. I'm surrounded by it whenever i go.
> 
> I'm not asking how to "improve" anymore, i'm simply asking how am i supossed to cope with it.


Yes, looks matter. They really shouldn't, but they do.

Although, maybe your standards are a little too high? I have a friend that back in high school was very similar to how you described yourself. He was constantly asking out girls and constantly getting turned down. His problem was that he was only asking out the 'hot' girls. I suggested a few girls that I thought were really nice and that he should ask out. His reply - "No way...they're ugly."

What I'm getting at is that unless you possess killer good looks, are a rock star/pro athlete, and/or have a bunch of money, you are not very likely to land a girl with supermodel looks. Just a fact of life. Maybe you should "target" less atrractive/popular women. Just a suggestion.


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## Carbon Breather (Mar 13, 2005)

There is a group of people for everyones looks unless you have three eyes or something. The problem is as mentioned above that if you're not rich, famous or extremely social you will not find someone if you only try groups above you. And if you have mental flaws maybe you have to try a group beneath you because bad social skills/wierd social behaviour are big turn offs for most women.


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## SADLiath (Aug 5, 2005)

Make some gay friends. When their female friends start lamenting "There are no good straight guys!", you'll be there.  

But if you're worried about appealing to women, gay guys could also help out with fashion and such. It's no wonder a lot of girls fall for gay guys. They know how to dress, how to act around women ... it could help.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Responding back again to this thread. A positive is not all women are attracted to looks. Work hard and get wealthy and there will be women attracted to security rather than looks. Also some will say that women love personality over looks. But if you're dating a girl and some other guy shows interest that has an equal personality to yours except better looks naturally she would go after him. It has to do with that whole survival of the fittest. If she has children she wants to ensure that they are top notch in all areas to ensure her genes will exist long into the future. Now you could say that a girl that is looking for security could find an attractive guy that has money. But I'd say there are fewer attractive wealthy guys than attractive average or low income guys so your chances are better with wealth than without it.


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## kev (Jan 28, 2005)

It's harder to attract women if you are average looking or less. I'm sure all these sob stories about guys who are so attractive yet still can't manage to get a girl aren't actually helping you feel better about yourself. But a woman will grow on you if you have the qualities shes looking for and you treat her right. You just need to find the right person.


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## beanman80 (Oct 11, 2006)

*I hate to tell ya*

I hate to tell ya but as animals......and yes we are........our first impression of people for attractiveness is looks if anyone diagrees they are wrong  It's different if you have known someone for awhile because atttaction is not just about looks in the long haul....I don't care how cute a girl is if she is a biiiatch,a complete valley girl,or dumb as a rock I will find them unattractive after a day out on the town... I'm sorry you could be heidi klum,anjelina,whomever and I would not date ya again


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## moejo (Aug 29, 2005)

scairy said:


> Responding back again to this thread. A positive is not all women are attracted to looks. Work hard and get wealthy and there will be women attracted to security rather than looks. Also some will say that women love personality over looks. But if you're dating a girl and some other guy shows interest that has an equal personality to yours except better looks naturally she would go after him. It has to do with that whole survival of the fittest. If she has children she wants to ensure that they are top notch in all areas to ensure her genes will exist long into the future. Now you could say that a girl that is looking for security could find an attractive guy that has money. But I'd say there are fewer attractive wealthy guys than attractive average or low income guys so your chances are better with wealth than without it.


If your looks go too far the other way, money will not help. I know wealthy guys who are unattractive and they still had a hard time finding someone. No matter how much money one has, there are limits in the looks department. What guy would do Rosanne? My aunt had many BFs who were rich, but ugly/fat and she was repulsed. She ended up marrying a poor attractive guy with a good heart, and she is much happier.

Women chasing money alone usually leads to unhappiness and divorce.


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## Christian (Oct 5, 2006)

Be sincere and share yourself. Mentally, you have to be happy about it, because it's good thing that you are reaching out, that you have this oppurtunity to communicate to another. That's the most important thing because although the first thing we notice is sexual, we usually do not make moves right away. If you do, you have to have the right attitude no matter who you're talking to.


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## el33 (Sep 18, 2006)

moejo said:


> scairy said:
> 
> 
> > Responding back again to this thread. A positive is not all women are attracted to looks. Work hard and get wealthy and there will be women attracted to security rather than looks. Also some will say that women love personality over looks. But if you're dating a girl and some other guy shows interest that has an equal personality to yours except better looks naturally she would go after him. It has to do with that whole survival of the fittest. If she has children she wants to ensure that they are top notch in all areas to ensure her genes will exist long into the future. Now you could say that a girl that is looking for security could find an attractive guy that has money. But I'd say there are fewer attractive wealthy guys than attractive average or low income guys so your chances are better with wealth than without it.
> ...


Money (or actually, power, of which money is certainly a big factor) is far more important for men in creating attraction IMHO. In fact I'd say money can actually become a negative factor in women.

Wealth/power can make up for a lot of other deficiencies in man more so than in a woman.

Looks on the other hand is more important in women, though certainly important for men as well.

There are always exceptions of course, but this seems to be the general rule in society.


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## moejo (Aug 29, 2005)

el33 said:


> Money (or actually, power, of which money is certainly a big factor) is far more important for men in creating attraction IMHO. In fact I'd say money can actually become a negative factor in women.
> 
> Wealth/power can make up for a lot of other deficiencies in man more so than in a woman.
> 
> ...


Let's take an example.

1. A poor/middle class guy who has no other deficiencies. Good body/looks, nice personality, kind hearted, would never cheat, etc.

2. A rich man with deficiencies, like fat, ugly, nasty personality, just showers her with gifts to impress her, etc.

If they were chasing the same woman, would they both have an equal chance of getting her?

My aunt did her share of gold digging in her day, but did marry a poor guy in the end.


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## Carbon Breather (Mar 13, 2005)

el33 said:


> Money (or actually, power, of which money is certainly a big factor) is far more important for men in creating attraction IMHO. In fact I'd say money can actually become a negative factor in women.
> 
> Wealth/power can make up for a lot of other deficiencies in man more so than in a woman.
> 
> ...


Totally agree. A good looking woman has many more advantages in life than a good looking man.

And regarding the example. Most rich guys don't look different than normal people. Some of them look better than average and some are a bit below but they have somethng else...
Some of them are a bit too confident but that is a plus for many girls.


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## el33 (Sep 18, 2006)

> Let's take an example.
> 
> 1. A poor/middle class guy who has no other deficiencies. Good body/looks, nice personality, kind hearted, would never cheat, etc.
> 
> ...


Perhaps not "equal", but I'd say both have very competitive chances. Of course there are many other factors, such as what kind of person the specific woman in question is, but I'd say neither would have any problems getting "A" woman - and a good one at that - into a relationship with him.

And yeah, like Carbon Breather says, being rich doesn't mean you're automatically fat/ugly/nasty, just as being nice/good looking doesn't mean you're automatically poor.



> Totally agree. A good looking woman has many more advantages in life than a good looking man.


I think that's because all(?) societies are still mostly male dominated, with more men holding positions of traditional power and influence than women. For obvious reasons a woman would have an easier time influencing men.

For what it's worth, I'm going for the money approach, and I feel that is likely the only way I'll ever get a girlfriend/wife.

Now that is not to say I'm shooting for golddiggers. But I'm on the ugly side. My personality isn't bad but it's not very....accessible, and people have difficulty breaking through to the "real me". Basically I'm a fly on the wall that no one ever notices.


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## moejo (Aug 29, 2005)

el33 said:


> For what it's worth, I'm going for the money approach, and I feel that is likely the only way I'll ever get a girlfriend/wife.
> 
> Now that is not to say I'm shooting for golddiggers. But I'm on the ugly side. My personality isn't bad but it's not very....accessible, and people have difficulty breaking through to the "real me". Basically I'm a fly on the wall that no one ever notices.


I'm exactly the same as you, money is the only way for me also. In my other post about the "75 miles away" I just found out that the woman was mainly interested in my money. I found out she has a kid, a used wreck of a car and is broke as hell. She was looking for a meal ticket. I would rather be alone than to be used like that.

Once most women hit their 30's that's all they care about...the cash. In their 20's, they are more driven by a man's looks. In college they will date the hunks, but marry the science nerds with the pencils in their shirt pocket.

Life sucks.


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## Morningrise (Aug 7, 2006)

*Occam's Razor*

It's all based on pheromones. I think a small portion of the population doesn't produce any, hence they never attract someone of the opposite sex. Seems to be correlated with SA. More research should be done on this.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Skackal said:


> breaking through said:
> 
> 
> > Looks don't matter my ***.
> ...


This is a really good post. They actually say most people end up with their equal in attraction.

I honestly can't tell what girls are in my league. I've had hot girls that I thought were attracted to me. Then at school my classes consist of girls that I have no attraction to and none of them seem to have any interest in me. Which causes me to arrive at a clueless conclusion. Why would the hot girls send me signals but the ones I don't find attractive don't? Could it be that I think the hot girls are sending me signals when they're not?

Bottomeline it would be nice to figure this out but it would require inside knowledge from others. But once you know a girl and have a friendship with you she is going to lie and say you look good to make you feel good. If you ask a stranger she probably going to think you're an *** which screws up the accuracy of her response.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

> Once most women hit their 30's that's all they care about...the cash. In their 20's, they are more driven by a man's looks.


Yeah, that does seem to be true. I wonder which one is worse?



> It's all based on pheromones. I think a small portion of the population doesn't produce any, hence they never attract someone of the opposite sex. Seems to be correlated with SA. More research should be done on this.


I do sometimes wonder how much of this all is simply a biochemical thing. There are some people, me for instance, who don't seem to ever procure any attention from either sex. It really is a curious thing. So I've come to the conclusion that either I'm just completely blow-the-doors-off-the-hinges hideous or that something is wrong or 'off' about me at a more basic level.


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## el33 (Sep 18, 2006)

> I do sometimes wonder how much of this all is simply a biochemical thing. There are some people, me for instance, who don't seem to ever procure any attention from either sex. It really is a curious thing. So I've come to the conclusion that either I'm just completely blow-the-doors-off-the-hinges hideous or that something is wrong or 'off' about me at a more basic level.


That's a good question. I think the reality is that we really are closer to our animal cousins than we'd like.

I don't have too much trouble with other guys. While I still have trouble making friends, I can be fairly sociable. They also approach me.

With girls, I'm literally a fly on the wall. Most will walk past me as if I'm invisible.


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

scairy said:


> I honestly can't tell what girls are in my league. I've had hot girls that I thought were attracted to me. Then at school my classes consist of girls that I have no attraction to and none of them seem to have any interest in me. Which causes me to arrive at a clueless conclusion. Why would the hot girls send me signals but the ones I don't find attractive don't? Could it be that I think the hot girls are sending me signals when they're not?


I think it could be that the hot girls (because they are hot) have more confidence and the girls that are not hot have very little confidence, hence they (the "not hot" girls) are less likely to flirt or give out "signals".

Lifetimer


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## Matt J (Oct 19, 2006)

Zephyr said:


> > Once most women hit their 30's that's all they care about...the cash. In their 20's, they are more driven by a man's looks.


Ya thats definately true, most woman my age are focused on the $$$, where as for me I couldnt really care less about a womans financial status, its about connecting with them mentally and of course finding them sexually attractive (which doesnt necessarily mean super hot btw).

I care about whats in the heart and the head...not the wallet.


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