# Talking to this girl and then asking her out!



## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

Well. There is this girl in my English class by the name of Jenny. And, yeah I think I know where everyone knows pretty much the rest from here: She seems nice, shes very cute, I'm nervous, paranoid, frightened, and probably a few other things and I want to eventually ask her out! I go to a fair sized college and our English class ends soon - only three meetings left. So, it is possible I will not see her again. Even if I do see her again eventually, she might be going out with some other guy! And then I would torture myself for being slow!

I am worried about where exactly we should go. I guess I'll dig around the relationships forum for ideas. 

I'm thinking that I should try not to worry too much about it, just make her feel comfortable and enjoy our night out.

This can't kill me right?


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## OneSADClown (Apr 14, 2004)

Qolselanu said:


> This can't kill me right?


you're right. there are no certified deaths from asking a girl out. they're not known to eat the guy either. oh and i don't think it would provoke the Apocalypse.

funny as it is, i'm having a huge time understanding this also. i keep telling myself "it's so stupid i'm worried about something so small and insignificant as what happens from this", yet... it's an incredibly hard thing to pull through.

i hope all goes well with you, and i'm kinda in your situation as well.. i really like this one girl, and the feeling is mutual from what i've heard, but i still can't get myself to make a move. :sigh supposedly, i've marked today as the day i tell her "i really like you" and be honest about my insecurities to her, so wish me luck.. i'll be talking to her in an hour..

ahhh... our stories would be a big joke around the jocks and players club. :lol

good luck mate!


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## Meee (Oct 24, 2005)

Good luck to both of you


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## OneSADClown (Apr 14, 2004)

hey! i did it... :boogie

i'm so proud of myself right now, and happy i called her.. we talked for like an hour and a half, and right from the start i told her i was sorry and everything, for not showing her how i felt and that i really liked her (emphasized "really" too!) and that i have problems opening up to people and showing my emotions, etc.. she took it very well, saying she had the same problem too, and we settled on that we're working to get better..

after that we talked about a lot of things, had a lot of laughs and i was strangely comfortable talking to her.. i think knowing she has the same issues as i do made it possible, and we kept the conversation smoothly flowing..

we agreed that we want to see each other soon, so i think that'll come in a near future..

right now, i think i merely cemented my position as a friend, as she's beginning to open up to me, but i'm worried about the transition to a boyfriend/girlfriend type of relationship... hopefully, we'll be able to find each other in our nervous ways, and just take it as an adventure we both want to be a part of.. i'm sort of excited and happy, and looking forward, things i haven't felt in a long time..

i really encourage Qolselanu to go ahead and give it a shot, and ask the girl out.. i'm not really sure about what signals one can give out to let her know you like her sexually and not just as a friend, and without sounding like a perv or something, so i can't help you there, but definitely try to approach her and most importantly *let her know how you feel*.. you can't believe how freeing and empowering is knowing someone else knows what you're feeling and that they accept it, or better yet, want to help you or share your feelings..

also read up in the "Positive Thinking" forum, there's some pretty eye-opening posts in there that might help you out..

good luck and let us know how it goes!


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## SunLite (Jan 4, 2005)

Make sure to have plans on things to do instead of just sitting there asking eachother what do you want to do.

Your the dude so you have to take charge.

Things off the top of my head

IF you have errands to run bring her along. Me I'm working on Christmas shopping and getting my basement redone so I'm always bringing people for that.

Putt Putt is good cuz you can actually talk to a girl and attract her same goes with laser tag where you can shoot people together or beat her up.

I like book stores because there is so much you can do there. You can go to the sex book section and check out books there. You can go to the magazines and ask her questions and tell a couple stories based on what you see. (Like how can there be a magazine for Running? Seriously)
You can go to the Romance novel section and tell her how this is like porn for girls and then comment on the girls that are around that area reading the books.

The mall is good. You can dress like a ****** and she can tell you how your her gangster boo. You can also tell her to hold you hand. With Christmas coming up depending on what stores you go to people can think your a couple if you are holding hands and crap. ( I had it happen multiple times when I was in some girl stores)

Movies are okay once you've seen a girl a couple times. I wouldnt recommend as a first date. You both just sit there and while that may be appealing you dont attract a chick that way.

Make sure to get the kiss on the first date or she will probably place you in the friends category. I've used the close your eyes I have something to show you kiss or the you have somehting on your lips let me get it for you kiss or come over here and kiss her. 

If theres fun stuff around you then by far go to it. Maybe you both like art or music or some **** I dont know. Maybe you live in a lively city and can just walk around for awhile.

If you have a place where you two can be alone thats a definite plus. That's the main reason why I'm working on my basement. My girls house it out of the question and my house isn't exactly girl friendly. Once the basement gets done I have it awesome because if you walk in from the garage the basement door is right there and I don't have to deal with parents (which is awesome)

If you can end the date watching a movie at your place=guarenteed makeout

I'm in Michigan and its cold here there is proabably a lot of stuff I'm missing as far as outdoorsy **** like the beach or the park.


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

*sigh*

I did some reading up on places to take this girl out to. I kept thinking, me taking someone out to here? Oh god. I'd feel so out of place - god i have no life. 
I will finally see this girl today - no idea where to take her - I'll just try talking to her, see what happens.


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## Restless Mind (Jul 19, 2006)

Qolselanu said:


> Well. There is this girl in my English class by the name of Jenny. And, yeah I think I know where everyone knows pretty much the rest from here: She seems nice, shes very cute, I'm nervous, paranoid, frightened, and probably a few other things and I want to eventually ask her out! I go to a fair sized college and our English class ends soon - only three meetings left. So, it is possible I will not see her again. Even if I do see her again eventually, she might be going out with some other guy! And then I would torture myself for being slow!
> 
> I am worried about where exactly we should go. I guess I'll dig around the relationships forum for ideas.
> 
> ...


I'm same boat, buddy. Hopefully we can grow some balls and actually follow through. And you're right - what do we have to lose?

Good luck.


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

Crap. Failure. I just had class with her. Did I ask her out? Nope! Its ok though. Our class meets two more times - that's two more chances, but I want to treat it as only one chance. Why? Well, the last and first time I ever asked a girl out to something, (it was to prom - with arguably the hottest girl in our high school) it took me three days since deciding to ask before I actually asked. So this time, I want to reduce that number to two! I will see her again this Thursday!


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

Small update: I'm going through the "you are an idiot phase after not asking." Basically I'm kicking myself for not asking when I had the chance. I just want Thursday to come RIGHT NOW.


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

Failure again! Damnit! I had a great chance to ask! Ugh. I will see her again Thursday, and may not see her again for a long time. (Big college.) Well, last time I asked a girl out to something, it took me three dedicated tries. Guess that will happen again. I really want to do it.

Three tries eh?

_Ad triarios rediisse._


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## Blue Oval (Oct 18, 2006)

keep us posted


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

Good god how many time to do I have fail. She even made it easy!

First I got to class late and we were taking our final, so I couldnt talk to her before or during class. I also feared that she would finish her final before me but we ended up finishing at roughly the same time. In fact we were the last ones done! I could have started talking to her then. Did I? nope. I just left the classroom and kept walking. I paused for a sec just to contort my face and raise my hands in frustration - I couldnt even say a few words to her. So I keep walking. Guess what, I hear her from behind calling me. She wanted to know if I had a phone. I let her use it to call her friend. Then we talked a little. I dont think I talked coherently though.  SO she was gonna leave for her friends. I could have easily asked if I could walk her to her car - and perhaps then ask her out. But my mind was completely blank and the thought of walking her to her car never crossed me. 

In short I couldnt even THINK. I wonder if I am breathing correctly in these situations. Everything just moves to fast. Oh yeah, its quarter break - We wont be back at school until January 2nd and as I said last time, big school, not likely to see her. On the way home I kept beating myself up. Eventually I just yelled F*** as loud as I could in my car and I calmed down from there. SAD is cruel - I need a hug :/


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

Bah... I'm sorry dude. I know that feeling all too well. 

If you keep playing it through in your head before you actually do it, and start to think of it as some huge task that you have to accomplish, you will just make it 100x worse. You're just going to psyche yourself out before you even try. I've been in that situation before; I've sat there thinking through it 20 times and coming up with exactly what I would say, and when I actually had the chance, my mind just totally went blank. It makes me depressed even thinking about it. **** asFUSDAOGIHSDOGH **** brought back some bad memories here. :sigh

I feel for ya. Don't lose hope, though. Maybe you'll see her again. :stu


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

Thanks. 

I wish I had a friend to back me up or even give me a little pressure. With the last girl I liked before I told my friend that I wanted to ask this her to the prom. Well, he told a few people and pretty soon I had a few people bugging me and even rooting me on about it. I think it helped thinking that I would dissapoint all these people if I didnt ask this girl to prom. 

Also now that I think about it, after I left class and left this girl behind, I pretty much gave up and let my mind wander. When she came up to me I was thinking,"uh wtf? sh** how do I do this again?" I was caught off guard. /cry


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

Oh duh, I may be able to contact her during winter break. At my school you can register at the library to access the wireless network at school. By registering there you also get a school email address. The email the school gives you is the first letter of your name followed by your last name. So I can email her, i dont know if she registered or will even check her school email during break, but its worth a shot. If not, there is always next quarter.


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## Blue Oval (Oct 18, 2006)

dont give up yet


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

Update: I was able to "let go" fairly quickly. My feelings for this girl numbed up and subsided. If I see this girl again, yeah I would try to talk to her and perhaps ask her out. Maybe.

There is another girl that has caught my eye however.


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