# Parents don't care about my brother bullying me



## Eirene

It started out when we were kids. My older brother would order me to do something (i.e. cook for him) when our parents were at work, I'd tell him to do it himself, he'd start insulting me, calling me a useless ***** etc.. I'd later tell my parents about it and they would only complain about how problematic I was for not doing as he said :blank

He has at several points threatened to beat me so badly I wouldn't be able to leave the house for weeks, told me no man would ever want to marry me because "I don't know my place", etc. I told my parents about it and they didn't react to this at all.

And Saturday was the worst bit so far. We were having dinner when my brother (whom I haven't seen in months) randomly started going on about how he was embarrassed to have me as a sister, how he thought I'd become "normal" but I didn't, how I'd get nowhere in life as I didn't even deserve a minimum wage, how I'm absolutely useless and should learn to work harder (even though I managed to get a 1st from the top university for my course and spent the entire summer working 8 to 5 without any breaks for an internship whereas he barely does anything and hasn't worked a day in his life). He also said that no one cares about my opinion, that I don't have friends, that I'm pathetic, that parents aren't telling him anything about this because they both know it's true...

A bit before that he also started saying how he was going to poison the cats in his backyard because they annoyed him, and when I was appalled he mockingly asked me if I was going to cry. A bit after that he threw food at me for no reason.

So after all of that I stormed off into my room to cry and my parents didn't say anything about it, afterwards they just kept on telling me not to get upset about this _as if I was overreacting by crying_. _That was all the support I got_. They didn't even tell him off for this, they didn't check up on me when I was crying or anything.

I can't deal with this. Even though I know none of what he said is true, my brother knows nothing about me or my life, I just can't believe my parents aren't doing anything about it, that they didn't even stand up for me. My family is so ****ed up I'm really glad I'm going back to the UK the day after tomorrow. I can't ****ing stand this.


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## ilibwy

I am in utter disbelief :shock When you were describing what happened at dinner I had to stop and ask myself "is her brother 9-years-old"? Because any sane adult I know would not act like that. I can't believe your parents aren't appalled by his behavior, they should totally be sticking up for you and putting him in his place.


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## GetOutOfMyHouse

...


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## TicklemeRingo

OP, can I ask a delicate question: are your parents religious, or do they come from a cultural background where woman are treated with less respect than men?

Because that's the only explanation I can think of for why your family is treating you in such an appalling way :con.

Your brother sounds horrible. If that's the way he treats his own sister I dread to think how he might treat any woman who has the misfortune to become involved with him. 

Well done for your success with your studies and work  Keep that up, as it's going to be your ticket to moving out of home and away from the bullying. 

Maybe, if things start to get you down, it might be worth speaking to a counsellor/therapist at your University? It might be good just to have someone to confide in.


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## Eirene

ilibwy said:


> I am in utter disbelief :shock When you were describing what happened at dinner I had to stop and ask myself "is her brother 9-years-old"? Because any sane adult I know would not act like that. I can't believe your parents aren't appalled by his behavior, they should totally be sticking up for you and putting him in his place.


Thanks for the support. I just can't understand them either, my brother's 22, it's not like he's a kid and doesn't know what he's saying. A++ parenting skills right there :no


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## Eirene

GetOutOfMyHouse said:


> I'm 27 yo I stopped talking to my brother since I was 13 yo, he used to beat me up frecuently and abused me sexually.
> 
> I don't plan on talking to him ever again, my parents even said: "It's better this way so we don't hear his(mine) complaining", and he even kept beating me up for years.
> 
> If time travel existed I would tell someone inmediately or make a big scene, even call the police, no one has to deal with ****ery in their own home.


I'm so sorry about this :squeeze When I move out I'm not planning on ever talking to him again as well. Whenever I retort to any of his insults my parents also just blame me, saying that I'm always starting fights.

I felt like I should make a scene several times when I was younger, but if my own parents don't care about any of this, would anyone else care? Also, I felt like no one would believe me. I know, having a ****ed up home must be one of the major reasons people have SA...


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## Eirene

TicklemeRingo said:


> OP, can I ask a delicate question: are your parents religious, or do they come from a cultural background where woman are treated with less respect than men?
> 
> Because that's the only explanation I can think of for why your family is treating you in such an appalling way :con.
> 
> Your brother sounds horrible. If that's the way he treats his own sister I dread to think how he might treat any woman who has the misfortune to become involved with him.
> 
> Well done for your success with your studies and work  Keep that up, as it's going to be your ticket to moving out of home and away from the bullying.
> 
> Maybe, if things start to get you down, it might be worth speaking to a counsellor/therapist at your University? It might be good just to have someone to confide in.


I wouldn't say my parents are religious, nor that they come from backgrounds where women are less respected than men. I guess my parents just really don't care about me :um

I know, you can say a lot about a person by how he treats people he considers to be his inferiors. My brother's a monster, but no one seems to realize it and it's really freaking me out. Just how stupid is everyone to not see what he's really like??

Thank you! Yes, I'm hoping to move away as far as possible from my parents as soon as I graduate. Don't think I'll want to talk to them ever again. I'm seriously considering talking to the University counselor, I can't get stop thinking about this mess. Thanks for the great suggestion!


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## TicklemeRingo

Eirene said:


> I wouldn't say my parents are religious, nor that they come from backgrounds where women are less respected than men. I guess my parents just really don't care about me :um
> 
> I know, you can say a lot about a person by how he treats people he considers to be his inferiors. My brother's a monster, but no one seems to realize it and it's really freaking me out. Just how stupid is everyone to not see what he's really like??
> 
> Thank you! Yes, I'm hoping to move away as far as possible from my parents as soon as I graduate. Don't think I'll want to talk to them ever again. I'm seriously considering talking to the University counselor, I can't get stop thinking about this mess. Thanks for the great suggestion!


Oh I see. I guess they're just pretty lousy at parenting . We can't choose our families, sadly, it's just luck of the draw. It sounds like they did a terrible job of raising him, which is why I think you should be proud of yourself for not turning out like he has, despite the environment you were raised in.

You might enjoy this poem: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/178055
The ending is a bit cynical, perhaps, but there is some truth in there.

And, you're welcome


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## Soundboy

He is a *******. F*** that's so mean


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## HumbleTears

My younger brother acts like that. I certainly don't want to remain in contact with him as an adult. But wow, it must be even worse in the case where it's the older sibling bullying you. He's an adult, right? You should give the counselor a try.


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## Kirit3

My parents and bro is similar. In my case unfortunately I always look up to my big brother and let him get away with things he shouldn't.

My parents also had bullying in their family. My dad's bro called him useless everyday and my grandma hates my mom because she only loves boys. To my parents bullying is normal. When my brother laughs and calls me a useless piece of **** they don't see what the problem is, this is how siblings are suppose to be (WRONG).

I deal with my bro by avoiding him and hiding in my room. I also only talk to him about subjects I am strong at (pretend or otherwise). Be firm in saying No and remember you're not the little girl he can beat up and abuse anymore.


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## AxlRose408

My brother is 6 years older than me and refers to me as a**hole, even in front of my parents. When my brother was 18, I was 12 and he took out all his anger on me. His only friend nearly ended my life one day by slamming my head against the wall. I told my dad but he did nothing and continued to watch TV, even seeing me in tears holding my head. When I was around 7, my brother used to give me dirty looks because I had a better facial appearance than him. My brother would call me weird things like "****" and "Bloody Christian" when he got angry at me. We have been estranged for 20 years but he still visits my family often because he has no friends. Like your story, my parents never confronted him or tried to remedy the situation. They think my brother is normal and consider him a wonderful older brother. I blame my parents for never acknowledging how abusive he was. They are just as guilty as he is.


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## coeur_brise

I had a brother like that.. for a while before he moved out anyway. He would purposefully try to push my buttons, call me autistic for having social problems, ignore me whenever I said something. And to be honest, it hurt but I guess that was just his douchebag way of dealing with things. Maybe ignoring him would help. Remember, he is only trying to get you mad and to get you cry, which I understand is completely unfair.


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## BALROG

my mother bullies me.


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## QuadzHD

*i get bullied too*

My brother always bullies me aswell he makes me do stuff for him all the time and if i dont do it he threatens me to beat me up if i dont do it for him and he beats me up and kicks me and he beats me up so many times when he actually walks near me i think that he will beat me up and sometimes when i actually get beat so many times clumps of hair starts falling out of my head because of the stress :crying: and i get angry and he posts pictures of annoying pictures of me on the internet and tells all his friends about it :crying:


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## Laiba

Eirene said:


> It started out when we were kids. My older brother would order me to do something (i.e. cook for him) when our parents were at work, I'd tell him to do it himself, he'd start insulting me, calling me a useless ***** etc.. I'd later tell my parents about it and they would only complain about how problematic I was for not doing as he said :blank
> 
> He has at several points threatened to beat me so badly I wouldn't be able to leave the house for weeks, told me no man would ever want to marry me because "I don't know my place", etc. I told my parents about it and they didn't react to this at all.
> 
> And Saturday was the worst bit so far. We were having dinner when my brother (whom I haven't seen in months) randomly started going on about how he was embarrassed to have me as a sister, how he thought I'd become "normal" but I didn't, how I'd get nowhere in life as I didn't even deserve a minimum wage, how I'm absolutely useless and should learn to work harder (even though I managed to get a 1st from the top university for my course and spent the entire summer working 8 to 5 without any breaks for an internship whereas he barely does anything and hasn't worked a day in his life). He also said that no one cares about my opinion, that I don't have friends, that I'm pathetic, that parents aren't telling him anything about this because they both know it's true...
> 
> A bit before that he also started saying how he was going to poison the cats in his backyard because they annoyed him, and when I was appalled he mockingly asked me if I was going to cry. A bit after that he threw food at me for no reason.
> 
> So after all of that I stormed off into my room to cry and my parents didn't say anything about it, afterwards they just kept on telling me not to get upset about this _as if I was overreacting by crying_. _That was all the support I got_. They didn't even tell him off for this, they didn't check up on me when I was crying or anything.
> 
> I can't deal with this. Even though I know none of what he said is true, my brother knows nothing about me or my life, I just can't believe my parents aren't doing anything about it, that they didn't even stand up for me. My family is so ****ed up I'm really glad I'm going back to the UK the day after tomorrow. I can't ****ing stand this.


Its the same case with me my sister ,,,,Believe me :crying::crying::crying::crying::crying: my brother even threatend me that he would spill acid on my face so my face gets destroyed and no man marries me and my life gets ruin, he wants to kill me he says he wants to murder me from his own hands even if he would end up in jail or a never ending punishment he said he would rest in peace that i am at least dead because he hates girls and he is embarrassed of having me as his sister he wanted me to be a boy as he thinks that boys are much stronger and superior than girls (which is certainly not true but i have a cultural mother so is my brother) so my parents too never take ant notice they say that he is right so i have to be his slave ...my brother even said that i am his prey and he wants to hunt me by himself he also says that i am his ***** and shoe of his foot.......:crying::crying::crying::crying:


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## Clivy

Laiba said:


> he thinks that boys are much stronger and superior than girls (which is certainly not true but i have a cultural mother so is my brother)


 well, technically males are biologically stronger than females, so by logic what he said was partly true.


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## Grog

Don't get upset get angry . 
What are you going to do about it ? 

I'll tell you 

Your going to use that 1st place brain and go get a job , work hard , get promotions make a crap load of money and forget they even exist . 

Use your brain not your heart .


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## versikk

Laiba said:


> Its the same case with me my sister ,,,,Believe me :crying::crying::crying::crying::crying: my brother even threatend me that he would spill acid on my face so my face gets destroyed and no man marries me and my life gets ruin, he wants to kill me he says he wants to murder me from his own hands even if he would end up in jail or a never ending punishment he said he would rest in peace that i am at least dead because he hates girls and he is embarrassed of having me as his sister he wanted me to be a boy as he thinks that boys are much stronger and superior than girls (which is certainly not true but i have a cultural mother so is my brother) so my parents too never take ant notice they say that he is right so i have to be his slave ...my brother even said that i am his prey and he wants to hunt me by himself he also says that i am his ***** and shoe of his foot.......:crying::crying::crying::crying:


I would make a new thread if I were you since this one is so old (but you don't have to) so the focus is more on you.

Do you live with your brother? If yes, can you move out somehow?


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## Zaps Zomm

Eirene said:


> It started out when we were kids. My older brother would order me to do something (i.e. cook for him) when our parents were at work, I'd tell him to do it himself, he'd start insulting me, calling me a useless ***** etc.. I'd later tell my parents about it and they would only complain about how problematic I was for not doing as he said
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> He has at several points threatened to beat me so badly I wouldn't be able to leave the house for weeks, told me no man would ever want to marry me because "I don't know my place", etc. I told my parents about it and they didn't react to this at all.
> 
> And Saturday was the worst bit so far. We were having dinner when my brother (whom I haven't seen in months) randomly started going on about how he was embarrassed to have me as a sister, how he thought I'd become "normal" but I didn't, how I'd get nowhere in life as I didn't even deserve a minimum wage, how I'm absolutely useless and should learn to work harder (even though I managed to get a 1st from the top university for my course and spent the entire summer working 8 to 5 without any breaks for an internship whereas he barely does anything and hasn't worked a day in his life). He also said that no one cares about my opinion, that I don't have friends, that I'm pathetic, that parents aren't telling him anything about this because they both know it's true...
> 
> A bit before that he also started saying how he was going to poison the cats in his backyard because they annoyed him, and when I was appalled he mockingly asked me if I was going to cry. A bit after that he threw food at me for no reason.
> 
> So after all of that I stormed off into my room to cry and my parents didn't say anything about it, afterwards they just kept on telling me not to get upset about this _as if I was overreacting by crying_. _That was all the support I got_. They didn't even tell him off for this, they didn't check up on me when I was crying or anything.
> 
> I can't deal with this. Even though I know none of what he said is true, my brother knows nothing about me or my life, I just can't believe my parents aren't doing anything about it, that they didn't even stand up for me. My family is so ****ed up I'm really glad I'm going back to the UK the day after tomorrow. I can't ****ing stand this.


I have the exact same thing as you but nearly. I feel suicidal


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## Kandice

Why don't you stay at your university? Do you live in a dorm or with your parents? Is it possible to completely move out of your parents place and live on your own?

Being around your family is toxic for you, which is sad because for most people family is our foundation. You don't have a good family and they're hurting you. Do you think you can thrive without them?


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