# Who do you like better: your mom, or your dad?



## jijiji (Feb 5, 2011)

eh?


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

I can't answer this poll as I never felt a pull one way or another... I loved them both in a 'they are my parents' way but they were just there... I was never huggy or cuddly with them... and never felt a deep bond. I think it was because there was always so much yelling and arguing that I detached from them emotionally early on. They provided all the stuff we needed growing up - mostly... but stuff is just stuff... kids know that and it isn't the same.

Mom died in a decade ago and it was sad but a good thing as she was in a lot of pain physically for years and was in her 70s... Dad is nearly 90 and doesn't have much quality of life left - by his own choice - and I rarely visit in spite of him being 30 mins away. Most of the time I think that it would be better if my dad just died only because it would improve his situation... but it's his life and he lives it his way.

It will be sad when my dad dies because it will be the last of our parents to die... it's odd that I think this because I never really miss my mom, I have happy memories of her... and I try to focus on that when I remember her... but there are always less happy ones that intrude so I just don't think about it much. The same with my dad.

I'd say I like my parents about equally and think of them as the same really. Dad was abusive and mom was weak... not sure which is really worse... I know that is a sucky attitude but it's how it is.


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## melissa75 (Feb 16, 2010)

Need an option for neither .

No dad in the picture and a mom that was barely there. My grandparents tried to raise me when my mom didn't...


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## jijiji (Feb 5, 2011)

caflme said:


> I can't answer this poll as I never felt a pull one way or another... I loved them both in a 'they are my parents' way but they were just there... I was never huggy or cuddly with them... and never felt a deep bond. I think it was because there was always so much yelling and arguing that I detached from them emotionally early on. They provided all the stuff we needed growing up - mostly... but stuff is just stuff... kids know that and it isn't the same.
> 
> Mom died in a decade ago and it was sad but a good thing as she was in a lot of pain physically for years and was in her 70s... Dad is nearly 90 and doesn't have much quality of life left - by his own choice - and I rarely visit in spite of him being 30 mins away. Most of the time I think that it would be better if my dad just died only because it would improve his situation... but it's his life and he lives it his way.
> 
> ...


don't feel guilty for feeling the way you do. our sentiments regarding most things are the result of what we receive from them. a kid who loves his parents who gave him lots of love and attention is not more grateful than you. he just had more to be grateful about


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## WTFnooooo (Mar 27, 2010)

In some things mom in others dad but mom wins because she is less violent, better listener.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

jijiji said:


> don't feel guilty for feeling the way you do. our sentiments regarding most things are the result of what we receive from them. a kid who loves his parents who gave him lots of love and attention is not more grateful than you. he just had more to be grateful about


Good point... thanks... that helps some... as sometimes I do feel guilty for not feeling more 'love' and 'connectedness' with them. I feel like an ungrateful neglectful kid oftentimes for not going to visit more.

But... stuff does not equal love... and I'm not saying they didn't love me... they did... a lot... but they were caught up in their own stuff and so was I. It reminds me of the song Cat's in the Cradle.

I try not to make the same mistakes with my kid.... I try to be balanced... stuff and time and attention.... in as equal measures as I can.

If we don't learn from the past we are bound to repeat it, isn't that what how the old saying goes?


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## alte (Sep 4, 2010)

Both. My mother can sometimes be difficult because she is very detail oriented and gets upset at the smallest of things but she has a good heart. Dad is very supportive and more easygoing, positive/upbeat. I can't pick one.


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## jijiji (Feb 5, 2011)

caflme said:


> Good point... thanks... that helps some... as sometimes I do feel guilty for not feeling more 'love' and 'connectedness' with them. I feel like an ungrateful neglectful kid oftentimes for not going to visit more.
> 
> But... stuff does not equal love... and I'm not saying they didn't love me... they did... a lot... but they were caught up in their own stuff and so was I. It reminds me of the song Cat's in the Cradle.
> 
> ...


you're doing just fine. maybe they didn't mean to do what they did, but stuff just happens. we are not in control of everything, in fact, we have control over very little. all it takes is, as you have made, a conscious effort to give that love. it doesn't take an extraordinary spiritual speaker or anything of the sort. it only takes that conscious effort. and you've done that, so don't worry


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## KumagoroBeam (Sep 15, 2008)

I feel bad saying this but I like my dad better. Sometimes I feel like he's the only person in the world who really understands me and loves me unconditionally.


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

WTFnooooo said:


> In some things mom in others dad but mom wins because she is less violent, better listener.


Ditto. My mom is better with the sensitive subjects and openly showing she cares but my dad shows it in helping me with my car, showing me how to work things etc. My dad is more "show love" in the "provider" way and my mom is the "emotional" and little things" kind of love. Hope that made sense.

My dad has a hard time openly showing he cares (without joking around etc.).


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## Georgina 22 (Jan 4, 2009)

I love them both but I feel I can talk to my mum more about anything than my dad.


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

I lost my dad a long time ago, but I always liked my mom a lot more. Dad was difficult and abusive, and my feelings about him remain very ambivalent. I forgive him, and I feel bad for him; he was always extremely sick, and it seems obvious to me now that he struggled just as much with his mental health as he did with his physical health. There's no doubt that a lot of my mental problems come from his side of the family. I'm not doing very well in life, but I'm trying to be a better person than he was.

So anyway, for as long as I can remember I always liked my mom more. She protected me (and my brothers) from my dad as best she could. In a lot of ways I think my dad's death was a relief for our whole family. I feel terrible admitting that, but I really think it's true. Most of the time I really don't miss him. But goodness, I don't know what I'm going to do when my mom's no longer around. I get extremely scared just thinking about it.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I've lived with my mom most of my life so I'm far more comfortable with her than my dad who has worked out of town or lived out of town for most of my life


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## Kakaka (Apr 7, 2010)

My Dad is generally a reasonable, well adjusted, decent kind of guy with a live and let live attitude.

My Mum is a very stressful person to be around. Melodramatic, argumentative and she genuinely believes she always knows best, which sometimes she does but most of the time she's simply clueless.

For example, she was once utterly convinced my rolling tobacco was actually cannabis and that I was addicted. Not that I was in danger of getting addicted, that I _already was _addicted. I've only smoked about fifteen roll-ups in my life. :no


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## Berlusconi (Feb 1, 2011)

I have a really messed up relationship with my parents. 

Story was told in another thread. Basically my mom has taken care of me my whole life, but my dad has been the most caring and helpful and I've only seen him for 10 out of the 19 years I've been alive.


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

Dad - probably because I hardly see him so when I do we try to keep things good. Mum can be a pain as the air is always tense when in her presence!


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## Berlusconi (Feb 1, 2011)

I'm unhappy with my mom. I feel like the least loved. A bit complicated, rather.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

My dad died when I was three. I don't really like my mom. Can I even choose fairly?


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## Cheesecake (Feb 2, 2007)

I don't really know my dad. I rarely see him.

So I have to go with my mom. She's always been there for me.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

mama.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

They're both nice in their own way. They do tend to be a little too controlling and overprotective, and are skilled at using guilt to make you feel bad when you resist. But they did a good enough job of raising me. Also they've stuck together all these years, which turned out well for me. If they weren't Indian, they'd probably have divorced within the first three years of marriage.


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## skygazer (Dec 26, 2010)

I didn't vote. I love them both<3


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## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

I love them both equally, however i get on better with my mam. My dad can be fine, only in small doses. Usually we both end up in a heavy debate or arguement which puts me in a bad mood. So i try and stay away from dad, i know that sounds bad but he can be very provoking when it comes to my mood. 

But since i've moved out from home, my relationship with both parents has improved. I don't think i could ever live at home again (full-time) cos we always ended up arguing and nit-picking over everything.

And mam can often nag me about me not helping with making dinner, it's something i just don't do. 

I love my parents but i could never live with them again. I love my freedom too much.


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## Toad Licker (Nov 2, 2007)

I used to have a preference when I was younger but now a days not so much.


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## mismac (Oct 27, 2005)

I love them both equally.

Both tried their best to raise us kids and give us the best possible life.


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## cafune (Jan 11, 2011)

heroin said:


> Also they've stuck together all these years, which turned out well for me. If they weren't Indian, they'd probably have divorced within the first three years of marriage.


Same here. If they weren't South Asian (Sri Lankan), they probably would've divorced by now.

-------------------
My mom.


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## ImmortalxApathy (Feb 19, 2011)

Mom. The other is just a mere sperm bank. I cannot say "my dad" because it makes me uncomfortable. I cringe at the thought.


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## yourfavestoner (Jan 14, 2010)

I'm a momma's boy.

Easy choice for me.

I've got no major gripes with my dad at the moment but, we've got next to nothing in common and a la don't relate well.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

What if we have a two mommy deal going on?


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## Melinda (Feb 5, 2009)

I'm not close to either of them, but given the choice I'd always rather be around my mom. She drives me insane, but she doesn't make me feel quite as horrible as my dad does.


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

I don't think I like or love one better than the other. They both love me very much, have always shown it and been caring and openly supportive. My mum has done so much for my brother and I, for many years it was very difficult for her doing pretty much everything for us and struggling to pay for everything - actually what gives me even more respect for her is that she never once said anything bad about my dad despite him not doing nearly as much as he should've. I love my dad too, he used to get so much joy out of doing stuff for us when we were kids and making us happy, things are different now but he's still very thoughtful and regularly sends me real hand-written postcards. It's just his mental illness over past 10+ years that has changed him a lot and made dealing with him very difficult but he's still the same person underneath.

So, don't really love one more than the other.


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

my dad fa sho.


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## Rocklover639 (Jan 3, 2011)

Mommy, no doubt.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

interesting thread. When my mom was still around I liked her more. I have a picture that I drew of my family when I was 4-6 years old and above my dad's head, I wrote "dummy Gary." (I call my parents by their first names.)


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## meco1999 (May 28, 2011)

My dad died when I was 10, and before he died I liked him more than my mom, so I voted my dad. Although I love my mom and she's the only person I have in the world, literally.


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## WhoDey85 (Sep 6, 2006)

Definitely Mom, haven't seen my dad in two years.


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## FireIsTheCleanser (Aug 16, 2011)

Why are the options in mommy and daddy form? makes it seem wimpy

But I choose my _mom_


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

Probably my mum <3 I adore her to pieces. She always buys me lots of stuff, phones me a lot, I can relate to her and stuff and... well <3 As for my dad, he's only in the country around 5 times a year or so. That's not to say he isn't good when he comes back but.. he seems emotionally distant a lot, so yeah... xD


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

My mom since my dad left when I was 16... She was pretty much both my parents


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## Luka92 (Dec 13, 2011)

I don't like this question...


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## Jinxx (May 10, 2011)

I relate more to my dad but he was the one that stopped being a father when I was 5 so I'm gonna say my mom for actually sticking around even through hell times. We may have a 50/50 type relationship, meaning that 50% of the time we get along while 50% of the time we don't but I still love her.


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## Tentative (Dec 27, 2011)

My mother, of course. :b


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## kosherpiggy (Apr 7, 2010)

i love them both.


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## Sourdog (Sep 13, 2011)

Both


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Jesus, so many SASers' dads have left them or were never around in the first place.


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## Syndacus (Aug 9, 2011)

Where the hell is the neither button? Screw this thread and your perfect families LOL


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## sliplikespace (Dec 10, 2010)

I don't even know who my real dad is so my mom wins by default. I really hate my stepdad though.


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## RUFB2327 (Sep 28, 2008)

By far, my mom.


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

RUFB2327 said:


> By far, my mom.


same here, not even close.


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## FireIsTheCleanser (Aug 16, 2011)

komorikun said:


> Jesus, so many SASer's dads have left them or were never around in the first place.


I know right? it's kinda bringing this thread down


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## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

Where's the "they both suck" option. Although I mostly just feel sorry for my dad and don't know him well. I've decided I hate my mom.


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## NobodysPerfect (May 22, 2011)

Ah I can't choose. I tend to get on with one better then the other but I like them both in their own ways.


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## Marlon (Jun 27, 2011)

My relationship with my father has deteriorated and we both know it. This past month I've had 3 dreams where I fought with him and said things I wish I could say to him in real life.


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## Meta14 (Jan 22, 2012)

I hate them both equally


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## olschool (Sep 3, 2011)

Mom


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## Kuhle (Oct 29, 2011)

Probably my mom. It's not that I dislike my dad, I just like my mom more. We get along better, and my dad can be kind of a dick sometimes. He's a lot more close-minded and hypocritical than my mom, and as of right now, I pretty much can't believe anything he tells me he's going to do. Also, regarding my SA, he pretty much just tells me to "get over it."


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

Definetly Mom. 

Dad was a bigtime SA'er. Also anxiety and depression. I got this from him. It's as if he expected nothing less from me. I had to be just like him or he got pissed. He's dead now. But I still have lots of hard feelings towards him.


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## cat001 (Nov 1, 2010)

Unfortunately my dad passed away several years ago. He was a good dad, he'd hide sweets around the house when we were little, throw money into the middle of the room and have us scramble for it and was generally playful but later on while I was still in school never really saw much of him as he was always away in Kosovo, Bosnia, Croatia etc serving as a UN Peacekeeper. It was during this time he got the cancer. 

My mums done the most for me and was the one who handled the money so let us join clubs and things like judo or brownies but was also the one who told us off for whatever reason so both parents had their strengths and weaknesses.


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## erasercrumbs (Dec 17, 2009)

My dad. My mom reminds me too much of myself.


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## Mr Mug (Sep 13, 2011)

I don't particularly like either of them.


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## squidlette (Jan 9, 2012)

Trick question since my dad's been gone since I was a wee squidlettelet.


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