# Going to the cinema by yourself



## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

There seems to be mixed opinion about this among people I know, with the prevailing view being that going to a movie alone is a truly sad and pathetic thing to do. I may have been pretty naive in the past about how this is viewed because of my criminal lack of self-awareness.

Is it a huge faux pas? It's not like I go at night surrounded by couples in a crowded cinema, I usually go during the day, and I usually go to less mainstream movies that my friends won't want to see because they have the same taste as FairleighCalm. These movies are meant to be more than just fodder for a night out, so it's not like I'm showing up alone to a strictly social event.

What do you think? I mean, I'm going to continue going alone regardless, I'm not going to be missing Encounters at the End of the World or There Will Be Blood because doing so violates social norms, but I'm still pretty curious about how this is perceived.


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

I can't go by myself so for me it's ...socially unacceptable, noticeably strange behaviour. BUT for other's who can do it I think it's fine and it'd be ...perfectly acceptable. I don't think any of seeing people there alone, it's just not something I can do by myself


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## FreeSoul (Jan 1, 2006)

I've been alone before. It does seem kinda weird... but not really a big deal. It feels better to go with someone though since movie theaters are more about the social experience than just watching a movie(which if I'm alone, it'll be easier to just watch at home).


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## Dreamcatcher (Nov 8, 2003)

I used to go alone quite often. Maybe a little unusual, but really, no big deal.


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## Tasha (Feb 10, 2004)

It does seem like a sad and pathethic thing to do, going alone seems to scream out " I'm a loser with no friends" and it is something I would personally never do. But then again, It isn't like you will be seeing those people from the theater again so it shouldn't matter.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

I have never gone by myself. I consider it to be something that announces loserdome/ complete social deviation. 
Typically, I end up waiting until movies I want to see hit dvd. I mean... I just sat through that stupid "I am Legend" **** because my brother wanted me to go with him, yet I can never get him to go see something I want to watch.... go figure. I've accepted that I'll never see a Herzog in the cinema, but a lame Will Smith movie? Yeah, I think this was my second one. Someone kill me.


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## Decade (Dec 5, 2007)

Socially unacceptable...

I've gone by myself a few times, I hated it. A few people have looked at me weird. Going to the movies is usually what someone does with friends, and going alone just makes me feel...so alone...lol. 

I really do think it's great that you can go alone, I don't see anything wrong with it, but I know that others think it's strange and that's why I can't do it.

I just wait until it hits DVD, that way at least I can enjoy the movie without worrying about what people think of me.


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## ericj (Jun 20, 2007)

The walk in makes me nervous and feel shame for being a total loser, and I wait for everyone to leave before I go.

I went alone to watch my first movie in a theater in over a year on Tuesday last week. Nobody to go with because I still don't have any friends here.


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## Kardax (Dec 29, 2004)

I do this often. I'm so used to going alone that when I bring someone it feels weird...

-Ryan


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## smalltowngirl (Feb 17, 2006)

I think it's perfectly acceptable. I know people who don't have SA who go to movies alone all the time. I see at least one person alone in the theater every time I go. It's not weird at all.

I haven't gone alone yet, but that's because I think it's more fun to go with people. I've considered it though.


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## mserychic (Oct 2, 2004)

What's wrong with going on yr own?! I've gone myself a few times and saw several other folks there themselves. Seems odd to me that folks need someone sitting next to them in silence to enjoy a movie


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## RainOfTerror (Jul 29, 2007)

Maybe a little unusual to see someone by themselves, but I would never do it. It feels as though I have a slight barrier from judgement if I'm with someone else.


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## russophile1977 (Jan 16, 2006)

I almost always go by myself. At first I was really self-conscious about it but it doesn't bother me now. Most people go with someone, but occasionally I'll see another person there alone.


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## Eraserhead (Sep 23, 2006)

I've done it a few times. I don't think it offends the universe. I also don't think anybody else gives a damn, unless there's something especially creepy about you.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

I go several times a year alone and I don't see anything wrong with it. Nobody has ever looked at me funny and I've never felt uncomfortable being there alone either.


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

I chose the second option: a little strange and sad, but nobody else cares much anyway. Other people are busy thinking about themselves.


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## coldmorning (Jul 4, 2007)

I think it's perfectly acceptable. When I see others do it, I don't assume anything about them. I don't do it myself but that's mainly because I don't go to a lot of movies. I know a married couple who don't like the same movies and every now and then they will go to a theater together and end up watching different movies.


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## Tungsten (Dec 11, 2005)

It's fine. 

If everyone went to movies alone it would be a lot more pleasant. No more being stuck behind a bunch of chattering idiots.


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## ANCIENT (Aug 9, 2005)

i think its ok to go by yourself. i go during the day. thats when most people go alone, so your wont feel like a loser.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

...socially unacceptable, noticeably strange behaviour

but that's be my SA talking.


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## copper (Nov 10, 2003)

I haven't been to a movie theater since I was 20. It makes me very nervous. I am not comfortable at all.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

If I really wanted to see a movie in a theater, I'd go see it.

It's not the most common sight to see, but don't think you're _so_ important to others that they would obsess over your solo movie watching.

If someone had a problem with my being there for the specific reason that I'm not in the immediate presence of someone else, I'd think they were psychotic! Who cares!?


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

I got two tickets to the theatre from my dentist, sort of as a reward for having to undergo massive dental work. He told me to take my girlfriend to the movies. I will probably go alone, twice.


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## IllusionOfHappiness (Sep 6, 2007)

I don't think people would notice really.

But personally I'd feel too weird doing it =/


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## joe81 (Dec 16, 2006)

went once, to the first spiderman movie.....felt kind of weird as if people noticed me alone. But then again, I'm a much to much paranoid....


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## TorLin (Nov 14, 2006)

i like going alone, because sometimes when you go in large crowds you have to save a lot of of seats, and such.

the last movie i went alone was to Transformers


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## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

I go to movies all the time alone. If I didn’t go to movies alone, I would miss out on a lot of good movies. Usually I just go when there’re not a lot of people. I get there just in time for the movie to start then slip out right after the movie ends. By being discreet, I avoid possible ridicule or weird looks. I use to feel quite uncomfortable going alone, but I’ve gotten use to it. In addition, I usually go to a theater that is not near the college I attend. That way I don’t run the risk of seeing someone I know from school. If I did see someone from college, I would, definitely, feel rather uncomfortable.

Often, I go to the movies during matinee. Surprisingly, if I go during this time, I sometimes see other loners. I’ve never seen a loner my age though. If I see another loner, it usually is an old person (probably a widow or widower). When I see these old people sitting alone in the theatre, I empathize for them. Most old widow/widowers think young people cannot understand their pain. Although I’ve never lost a spouse (since I’ve never had one), I can very much relate to the feelings of loneliness they must feel. Occasionally, I also see middle aged obese or morbidly obese people in the theatre alone. It’s strange, but there is something comforting about going out in the real world and seeing that their really are other people who are as lonely as me. 

Sometimes the act of going to a movie can actually help one’s loneliness. Although I sit in a room full of strangers, we are connected in a subtle way. Though we’ve never met, the jumbled mix of emotions that radiates from the screen causes the audience to laugh as one, becomes silent as one, feel sorrow as one, and excitement as one. For a moment even us lost, lonely, forgotten souls are part of something. Part of a group. It is a subtle connection, but it’s a connection nonetheless.


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## IllusionOfHappiness (Sep 6, 2007)

Another reason I wouldn't go alone: I know people who work there and would be way embarassed if they saw me there alone.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

LonelyEnigma,

That's a fantastic description of your experience. It was enjoyable to read.

I worked at a movie theater for over two years, and I occasionally saw a movie alone (I had unlimited free access). I think sometimes my coworkers just assumed I was meeting up with someone when I'd pick up my ticket early. If they thought that, I never corrected them.

I did see a lot of people go to see movies alone. It was surprising how often it happens. Usually it is more noticeable during times when we weren't too busy (matinees, as LonelyEnigma pointed out). I obviously never looked down on them, since I did the same thing myself at times.


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## trey (Nov 26, 2007)

There's been many movies that I've wanted to see in the past but couldn't find anyone interested in going with me, so I waited for it to come out on video. Going alone has always felt like a social faux pas. Like I'd be doing a walk of shame or something.

I think one day I should just go out and do the most embarrassing thing I can possibly think of. After that, everything else would pale in comparison.


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## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

ardrum said:


> LonelyEnigma,
> 
> That's a fantastic description of your experience. It was enjoyable to read.


Thanks!


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## InOttawa (Jan 14, 2008)

Its acceptable. Some people like to go to matinees alone to a movie they really want to see and not be bugged by talk and questions from friends. Also, some people have strange working hours, or are in town alone on business. If you bump into someone you know just say you had a few hours to kill and everyone was busy.


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## Meee (Oct 24, 2005)

I used to watch movies in the day on my own fairly often a while back. I saw plenty of other people doing the same, so if it is some huge social faux pas it's one a lot of people are committing.

I don't see what's so wrong about it anyway. Even when you have friends (as i do now) there's no guarantee that they'll want to a see a movie you're interested in. Why miss out on a good movie because people are being muppets?


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## eagleheart (Jun 14, 2007)

What?

I've never done it, but I can't imagine why it would be weird or unacceptable. :con 

POINTLESS ANECDOTE: Last year my friend and I went to see a (stupid) movie. There was no one else in the theatre. Twenty minutes or so after the movie started, a lone elderly man wandered in and sat much farther to the front. Some time later, his cell phone rang, and he mumbled on the phone for a few minutes before wandering out of the theatre with it. He never came back. Actually, this really doesn't sound funny at all, but it just makes me laugh because the movie wasn't so great and I told my friend later, "No wonder that guy left" :lol 

Oh, here's a point. Back then, that friend was going to see movies alone all the time. I knew someone else who said he used to do it too.

It just never occurred to me that this could be unacceptable. :stu :con


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## doomergence (Jan 29, 2008)

i sometimes have gone by myself its not a bad thing to do. Its a good way to have personal time


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## RubyTuesday (Aug 3, 2007)

I think that like a few things, a lot depends on your own perception of yourself.

A person can get away with a lot more than they might think, by simply doing their own thing in an emotional sense. There are always people who think negative things about people who act differently, just like if you surveyed people about anyone or anything they come up with a range of personal opinions and view points, all different, and yet each one tends to believe that only their's is 'right'.

One thing I've noticed is how people form opinions about a person, sometimes very strong opinions especially when they get together with others and talk or gossip -and I've also noticed how often people can be pretty narrow minded, assessing a person and their experience from their own limited understanding and perception (full of their own shortcomings, insecurities etc).

In other words, others' opinions, whilst worth respecting and considering, are not worth any more concern. 

There are always people who will stand in your way, telling you what's right and what's wrong. And the ones who really know what they are doing don't waste time being phased much by what anyone thinks. 

I've been to the cinema on my own more than a few times. Usually, it has been in the day or early evening/night.

Paranoia about being a loner or alone is way too rampant in society. I say that this attitude to loners alone is 'socially phobic'. Just like the fear of being alone is what all socially anxious people suffer from. ...and apparently most people with a "proper social life" suffer from this insecurity a great deal themselves.

I also am considerably less concerned with the fact that I have few friends. I'm not worrying so much about being different or what my 'social status' may say about me.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I have increasingly not cared whatsoever about doing something alone. I have just internalized the idea that the opinions that random strangers give me to not actually impact my life in any tangible manner. It's my own perception that has been the obstacle. Since the internalization of perceived opinions of me has dropped, I've increasingly found myself not even thinking about how I was in a situation in which I could have been negatively evaluated. It's just becoming a moot point. I have a right to do something alone, and I won't be stopped if that's what I want to do.


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## SilentLoner (Jan 30, 2006)

I usually go alone. It feels uneasy at first but once the movie starts then I don't care.


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## Cleary (Nov 10, 2007)

I never go to the movie theatres. I haven't since 9th grade. The movie theatres in my city sucks and they don't show the kind of movies I'm interested in most of the time.

I've wanted to go to the movie theatres a few times, for movies I really wanted to go see and I felt too impatient to wait for it to come on DVD. but I remember in high school sometimes the other students would bring up this "loser/weirdo" they saw at the theatre, sitting alone and they'd laugh about it during class. That's when I realized it was pretty much socially unacceptable to go to the theatres alone. and now that I think about it I never saw anyone sitting alone whenever I did go. I usually went with some family members, or with some classmates during a school fieldtrip. 

Now, I just wait for the movies to come out on DVD. it's cheaper to rent them than to go to the theatres anyways.


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## Dudleyville (Mar 25, 2007)

I go to the movies all the time by myself and I never notice people staring at me like they just saw a ufo or a ghost. And even if I did get stares I still wouldn't give a damn and would continue to watch the movie. Where I live most people have their own lives to worry about so they are not wrapped up in what total strangers out in public are doing. I live in a city with a population of over 800,000 people, not small town USA where all of the locals are all up in your business.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 3, 2008)

I actually know of quite a few people who often go to the movies by themselves. It's not like they aren't popular and they don't have SA.

I've never gone alone.


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## Dudleyville (Mar 25, 2007)

The last time I went to the movies with company was back in November when me and my father went to see "American Gangster". But most of the time I just go by myself because my dad is always working and many times on his days off he just wants to relax at home.


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