# Went To A Support Group - Hated It.



## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

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## lyssado707 (Oct 29, 2004)

Nice job for going  Hopefully you can find a different group if that one ends up not working out.


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## Aleforge (Jul 8, 2009)

I agree, good job actually going and making it through a session. That's a pretty powerful step in the right direction even if it sucked.


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## eek a mouse (Apr 14, 2010)

If you go to a group you have to be willing to take advice...thats the whole point.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

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## StevenGlansberg (Apr 1, 2009)

Homersxchild said:


> It wasn't advice. It was telling me that I was a loser and to go pet cats.


lol.

Just going to one of those things is a great accomplishment let alone talking about yourself as much as you did. No way I could see myself ever doing that.

I wouldn't worry about the therapist. It sounds like she didn't really know what she was talking about. Maybe a BPD or SA group would be different.


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## RockIt (Jan 8, 2011)

Give it another try and if it isn't a great fit for you, there are probably others. If not, start your own. There are a bunch of different personalities in this world and not everyone is going to get along well with a random person. Just how it goes.

I commend you on going to a group though. You've got past the worst part, which is probably the first time. Let us know how your second meeting is.


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## Selbbin (Aug 10, 2010)

Homersxchild said:


> It was telling me that I was a loser and to go pet cats.


 OMG, She's telling you to be like me. Don't though, it didn't work out.

Kudos for going. Maybe look for another one that makes you more comfortable. No point going somewhere you hate because I doubt it will help.


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## eejm (Jan 22, 2010)

Kudos to you, Homersxchild. Miserable experiences occasionally have an unexpected silver lining. When something doesn't work out, we may not be any better off than before, but at least we can say, "Hey, I don't know what will work for me, but I know *that* isn't it!" I'm glad you tried it and learned something valuable, even if it wasn't necessarily a positive experience.


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## opalsky (Dec 6, 2010)

Can't say whether you were imagining her dislike for you or not. Check out http://www.bipolarworld.net/Treatments/Self%20Help/sh18.htm
it's helped me a lot even though I don't have bipolar disorder


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## changeforthebetter (Feb 15, 2011)

that sounds sh*t! has she ever actually had sa


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## Cynical Sentiments (Jan 15, 2011)

I think maybe it's better to be angry about it rather than depressed about it or something. Anyone else would probably have felt just as angry, but it seems that most of us with SA just blame ourselves over anything else. I think that's a huge step.

She doesn't sound like a very brilliant therapist, though. I thought they were supposed to make you feel comfortable, and still work with you within your own limits, not bombard you with questions your first time there. If it means anything, I think it's just common for them to recommend volunteering somewhere when you have social anxiety or don't get out very much.

Even though it was a terrible experience, I hope it doesn't set you back, because it's such a huge step!


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## juicyjuice11 (Feb 28, 2011)

Homersxchild said:


> I went to a support group for Depression/Bipolar. I absolutely despised it.
> 
> We went around to introduce ourselves and I said I only had mild Bipolar, that I was actually Borderline PD. I swear, once I said that, the therapist in charge's face changed so quickly and she suddenly hated me. It's like she thinks people with Bipolar are the ultimate victims and I was the oddball or something stuck on her shoe. She asked me what I did all day and I said "nothing really". I told her I had SA and couldn't get a job/volunteer. The whole time she asked me questions that made me feel like a loser.
> 
> ...


Sounds like your in closed minded, judgmental Ohio.


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## atticusfinch (Dec 18, 2010)

eekk- what a silly lady. I hope you can find a different group.


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## FolkWood (Mar 23, 2011)

Hello

This is my first posting. This seemed like the appropriate place to start since the search engine brought me here, and your posting was what I read first.
I wanted to comment, so I joined.

I am not bi-polar, but I do have social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder and have found a group or two to try.

I haven't been to any group in a few years, but I need to go, I know. The last couple of years I have been isolated by unemployment (recession) and today I just quit a good repair job after 7 working days, due to stress, performance anxiety, and insomnia. Now that I have de-stressed, I realize that I should have been able to make it work. In the past, long before this, I believe that I could have. It's like a veil of anxiety lifts and you finally see clearly, when it's too late. It's happened before, again and again. When you visualize yourself on the job and think about it again, you realize (sometimes)
that without the anxiety, it should have worked out. 

Anyway, I wanted to comment on your posting.

What I perceive here is fear and anxiety. Going to a group is scary the first time. When you are afraid, perception and reality get confused. I know, because that is what happens to me on the job. 

Anxiety and fear are much the same. You can't be sure, under these conditions, whether the things you are getting from facial cues, tone-of-voice, simple comments, or whatever are evidence of negative judgement of you, or are just what you perceive because it is what you fear most. 

For instance, did your therapist's face change to hatred or simply to intense interest in you? Your perception could well be simply what you fear most.

The questions that she asked you seem perfectly normal to me. She wanted to find out more about your situation and state of mind. I don't believe that she did it to embarrass you or to hurt you. She wants to help. She might be a little clumsy in her approach (I wasn't there) but trying to help.

When you say her questions made you feel like a loser, I can understand. When people ask me about why I am unemployed, I feel likewise. It hurts.

However, I can only see standard therapist stuff here (been there). She was trying to draw you out and get you participating in the group.

Personally, if this was your first meeting, I think it was too much, too fast.  
But, trying to help.

Go back, or go elsewhere. I agree with you. It was a triumph.

The best thing, I think, is that you are starting to question your own perception of what you interpreted as attack.


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## FolkWood (Mar 23, 2011)

Just a follow-up here.

When I wrote my first posting, I didn't pick up on SA meaning "Social Anxiety".
Duh... Well it is my first posting.

For a therapist to tell you to take the plunge into volunteering at your first 
meeting is "very clumsy", not a "little clumsy". To hit you with so much at your first meeting, knowing about your SA, is way too much. 

She really seems either inexperienced, or under pressure to try to rush everyone along.

Go elsewhere or see if you can sit in a group with someone else.


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## puffins (Mar 9, 2011)

Despite that bad time great job for going! i dont think i could....


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## sparky10 (Dec 30, 2008)

Well done for going:clap ive been to support groups that have been like that , just ignore her advice. shes not in your head and ive noticed some
of these facilitators can be quite pompous. sad really!


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