# I'm a biotch...now what??



## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

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## pentagon (Dec 13, 2005)

you are a super mega biotch!

I kid 

Using people is not cool in my book, if you are both using each other and have an understanding I see no problem.


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## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

...ouch....


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## salty (Mar 21, 2006)

the only problem i see with this is that if he's introducing you to people he knows, when you break up with him they're probably going to side with him (since they knew him first) and probably won't want to hang with you since you dumped their friend.
that's just based on what i've experienced though.


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## free thinker (Nov 11, 2003)

I hope you have eyes in the back of your head because the karma's going to bite you on the butt. :b :lol


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

I just think its a bad idea.


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## Fly (Apr 9, 2004)

I think it's pretty pathetic to use people like that.

So, very bad idea, i'd say.


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## ktglitzygirl (Apr 18, 2006)

i agree, bad idea. 


> The goal: reach girlfriend status within two weeks


has he asked you out? why do you have to reach gf status? you could just hang out with him and not take it to another level. then youll still meet people..and meet them while youre single too. and you wouldnt have to dump him after the 7 weeks either. also there isnt as much pressure to have sex with him if you arent bf and gf. 
maybe it isnt possible just to hang out though. if not, i dont know..i still think its a bad idea. its not good to use people


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Biotch!


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## Bon (Dec 24, 2005)

No, not cool, I don't like it when people are used and disposed of like they're trash.

If you were honest with him, and you both knew the score going in, that would be one thing, but to toy with someones emotions when you don't know how they feel. 

Would you like to be made a fool of, what goes around comes around.


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

> I'm using Mr. OK partly because after two years here I have 0 friends on campus and he'll take me to parties and introduce me to people


Sickening


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

It'll probably blow up in your face.


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## mismac (Oct 27, 2005)

Wouldn't it be easier to join a school club?


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## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

I hope he gets some action. :stu


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

BMSMA1A2B3 said:


> I hope he gets some action. :stu


 :agree 
Yes, if she does this to him then she OWES him some action!

However, I think anyone that would use another person then dump them when they are no longer useful to that person... is a pathetic human being.

Lifetimer


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

free thinker said:


> I hope you have eyes in the back of your head because the karma's going to bite you on the butt. :b :lol


 :agree This definitely isn't cool.


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## clenched_fist (Jan 4, 2004)

salty said:


> the only problem i see with this is that if he's introducing you to people he knows, when you break up with him they're probably going to side with him (since they knew him first) and probably won't want to hang with you since you dumped their friend.


 :agree


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

Lifetimer said:


> However, I think anyone that would use another person then dump them when they are no longer useful to that person... is a pathetic human being.


A confused person, maybe. The poster said she was desperate and lonely, and people in that situation often do irrational things, things which end up hurting themselves as much as they hurt other people. She seems to be aware of this to some degree, since she asked us about it and gave this thread the title it has, so she can't be that pathetic. I just hope she'll use this self-awareness to do right by the people close to her. It's better than any alternative.


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## itsmemaggi (Sep 26, 2005)

The fact that he pulled out a condom like that makes me wonder.. He doesn't sound like a total winner, himself. How long did you know him before he did this?

xoxo
Maggi


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## workman (Mar 5, 2004)

A big one.

Would you want someone to make a plan to become your bf just so they could get something and then dump you?


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

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## Bon (Dec 24, 2005)

jane said:


> That's a reason, not an excuse, so are there any good suggestions??


I have a great suggestion, but I don't think I can say that here.

Regardless of your circumstance, perhaps I'm living in a peterpan world you just should NOT use people.

If you want to go, go, find someone to talk to.

Why not just ask the guy that you're going to use "Hey, ya wanna go with me."

Edit, left out the NOT.


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

Its totally unacceptable to just use someone to obtain friends, and its counter-productive anyways. As soon as you dump him, all your new found friends are going to turn on you and side with him. I guarantee it, and you'll deserve it.


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

itsmemaggi said:


> The fact that he pulled out a condom like that makes me wonder.. He doesn't sound like a total winner, himself. How long did you know him before he did this?
> 
> xoxo
> Maggi


I was thinking bout that also. Is he getting something out of this also? If he just wanted you for sex i dont think its that bad to use him cause he was gonna use you. like when skanks get with old rich punks, the old guys know the girls are with them for their money, but they're getting something they want in return. 
however, if you're just flat out using him when his intentions are genuine, that's horrible.


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## RMJS (Jun 9, 2005)

I can't imagine what you would expect to get out of this message board that you wouldn't think of yourself. Judging by the affect of your post, you've definitely done a lot more thinking about this situation than anyone on here could even come close to, so you probably have better ideas of what would be best for you to do.

I'll take a guess and say that you didn't expect to gain anything revelatory from posting this. You were probably feeling very guilty about what you did, and becoming frustrated - keeping it bottled up for so long - so you just needed somewhere to vent.

People do stupid things when they're desperate. Don't think that you're the only one who would do something like this. Good luck.


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

RMJS, I think that finding solutions to your own problems is always hard, but solving other people's problems is easier. When you're feelings aren't involved it's easier to think objectively. 

What I also wanted (but didn't expect) was to have someone else relate to being stressed out over an upcoming event, and though they wouldn't be proud of it, they would also resort to using another person.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Unfortunately for you, you haven't found that person...and if you did, would that make you feel better about what you are doing in some way?

It is easier when your feelings aren't involved, I agree, but I don't think it is hard to look at things objectively. You just chose to take what you believe would be the easier road. 

IMO you need to grow up and stop playing these games. You sound like you are in college now. The fact you aren't proud of what you are doing should tell you something.


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## Micronian (Nov 11, 2004)

jane said:


> I'm going to hell, that's been established, but what would you do in my place?
> This two week mandatory class camp trip has me freaked out and my judgement is all wonky. If it wasn't for this trip I would never consider using somebody; 99.99% of the time I like being alone. But how can I make friends within 5 weeks, when I haven't made any in two years? There's going to be parties at night, and so much free time, and who am I going to eat with? To people without SA that may not sound like a big deal, but I'm really worried. That's a reason, not an excuse, so are there any good suggestions??


You're not going to get anywhere. You're thinking too much about the timeline. I used to think like that too. Whenever I felt like my time was running out with a girl I would go all crazy, desperate, irrational, and I'd mess everything up. It took me about 10 years to figure that out. Here's hoping that it doesn't take you that long.

Once you're free to say for yourself "I like this guy, I want to be myself, and let nature decide the timeline", then you won't have to climb on the shadows of someone else and get yourself your own friends.


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## Vincenzo (Sep 24, 2005)

Things like this are rightly frowned upon in men but seen as only moderately unacceptable for women to do.

I think that women who do things like this should be forced to live in Afghanistan for the rest of their lives.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

Vincenzo Coccotti said:


> Things like this are rightly frowned upon in men but seen as only moderately unacceptable for women to do.


Ain't that the truth.



> I think that women who do things like this should be forced to live in Afghanistan for the rest of their lives.


If that were done, I think the population of north american women would decrease *substantially*.


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## SupportiveGF (Apr 25, 2006)

Jane, instead of trying to hook up with this guys and use him, how about making friends with this guy and letting him introduce you to others as a friend. You were obviously going to do some smoozing to get to GF status, so smooze less and feel better about everything in genereal. No pressure to have sex, no pressure to fit it in your timeline. If you guys are friends, then you get everything you need and you might even find out that this guy is a nice guy (and if not, you at least gave him a chance)


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## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

Vincenzo Coccotti said:


> I think that women who do things like this should be forced to live in Afghanistan for the rest of their lives.


I'll send ya my blackbook. :b


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## workman (Mar 5, 2004)

why is it ok for women, but not for men? 

Anyway, I guess if they both have fun, in this situation it is ok. It doesn't sound like either of them would take it to seriously.

But the way it is being done is just plain wrong and hopefully won't become a habit. I just read something(it might have been mentioned before in the thread, if so sorry) about a guy that went out with a girl and on the first date she talked about how all her relationships end at about three months. He ignored it, and to him everything was going great, but sure enough, in 12 weeks, out of no where, she dumps him. And this person was in her mid 30's.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Maybe women feel that all men just 'use' women for sex and that they can dump them whever they want, and that on some level they think it is justified. Or...a form of revenge? Not sure.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

Yeah, women should behave like men stereotypically do in relationships, and be honest.....um, well, how about faithful.......no thats no good.......thoughtful and..... :stu :b 

As for the original poster, some people have suggested that you honestly approach this guy as a friend, and maybe that will ease your apprehension about the trip. I certainly think that's a better option.


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

jane said:


> I'm going to hell, that's been established, but what would you do in my place?


I'd go alone on the class camp trip. Heck, we had a week long trip in 6th grade that was fun with no friends. I think you have to come to terms with being alone first before you can get to know people in more healthy (non-desperate) ways. if you can't live without a friend/boyfriend, you end up doing bad things and being manipulative and ironically sabotaging your chances of being non-alone.

It doesn't matter that you stand out as the only person without friends there. It's not illegal, and the opinions it may give some people of you (though most people simply won't care) are not as important as they seem.


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## jane (Jan 30, 2006)

Well, in the end he dropped me because I wouldn't have sex with him. I would say that dastard, except I was that biotch that tried to use him. And life goes on.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Did he actually say he dropped you because you wouldn't put out? Or is that an assumption? 

Find somebody that you actually are interested in next time and not just somebody you plan on using to improve your own social status. 

Good luck.


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## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

Daaamn. Poor guy got used and didn't even get any action. :um


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## GTI79 (Feb 2, 2004)

BMSMA1A2B3 said:


> Daaamn. Poor guy got used and didn't even get any action. :um


 :lol :nw


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

jane said:


> Well, in the end he dropped me because I wouldn't have sex with him. I would say that dastard, except I was that biotch that tried to use him. And life goes on.


So, you didn't lose out. It's no fun using a schmuck. Find someone with just a little common decency, and make an experiment of 'em. :b



Prodigal_Son said:


> Maybe women feel that all men just 'use' women for sex and that they can dump them whever they want, and that on some level they think it is justified. Or...a form of revenge? Not sure.


Curses...somebody figured it out. :lol


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## Longie (Jul 14, 2004)

Maseur Shado said:


> So, you didn't lose out. It's no fun using a schmuck. Find someone with just a little common decency, and make an experiment of 'em. :b


Ugh.. please don't follow this advice. I hope its a joke. This is sickening. What the **** do you think _causes_ SA? :stu


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## BMSMA1A2B3 (Apr 7, 2006)

Longie said:


> What the @#%$ do you think _causes_ SA? :stu


Being too sexy? :banana


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