# How do you know if therapy isn't working for you?



## Cool Ice Dude55 (Jan 7, 2014)

i dont think therapy is working for me. i can tell them about my problems but it doesnt change the problem, it doesnt stop the problem from being there...:yes:yes

last time at my therapy i didn't know what to talk about so we sat in silence for ages.... it was sooo awkward!:um the way the therapist was staring at me made me laugh, it made me imagine what their orgasm face must look like so i started proper laughing then he asked me why i was laughing so i was like "oh nothing i'm just happy to be here"...:clap

i just dont think therapy is working, i dont like people knowing about my problems it's embrassing, and i dont want to tell people about my problems i prefer to keep them bottled up i dont know why. :roll

i want to stop going to therapy but i dont know how to tell the therapist without hurting their feelings.:afr


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## Higgins (Apr 19, 2012)

It's not working if you're not making any sort of progress...

1) How long have you been going?
2) Have you considered looking for a different therapist?
3) Do you put in the work of changing @ home, or do you just go to therapy and leave it at that for the week? Part of getting better is challenging yourself and learning small things about your behavior and routine that you can change for the better.
4) Are you on any medication? If not, have you considered getting on medication?
5) Why are you going to therapy if you're adverse to discussing your issues? Do you want to lessen your anxiety?


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## Cool Ice Dude55 (Jan 7, 2014)

i dont really have a reason why i went... i just thought everyone else on this forum goes so i may as well go and see what happens.

i dont really have a purpose, i like how i am and i dont want to change. 

yes i am on medication.

i really want to stop going but i dont know how to tell the therapist without hurting therapists feelings.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Cool Ice Dude55 said:


> i really want to stop going but i dont know how to tell the therapist without hurting therapists feelings.


You won't hurt their feelings. Therapists are used to tons of people quitting. What I have done in the past is just call in advance to cancel the next appointment, and then I will never call back to schedule a new one.


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## Higgins (Apr 19, 2012)

Just tell your therapist that you don't think therapy is right for you if you don't want to go, then. Therapists have many clients and having one who doesn't want to even be there drop off won't hurt them, because then they can take on somebody who might find their services useful. Sounds like a win-win to me.


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## Cool Ice Dude55 (Jan 7, 2014)

Ok but I've only been three times!!! Do you think this is long enough to know it's not working? 

I'm going to go tonight and I have nothing to talk about... Acca awkward!!


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## Higgins (Apr 19, 2012)

No. I'd usually say it's good to try it for a couple of months at least, unless there's something about your therapist that you outright don't like and wouldn't be able to look past. It's your decision though, so just make sure you really want to stop going before you give up your spot to somebody else.

ETA: I want everyone to realize that therapy isn't a quick fix and you won't feel better after a few weeks, especially because counseling sessions are only a small part of managing your illnesses - the rest is putting the work in yourself, and sometimes medication. I've been in therapy for a total of... maybe three years? Most of that time was about trial and error with various therapists I didn't click with, plus evading their attempts to help because of a multitude of reasons. I've now found a therapist whom I like very, very much, and so progress with her has been moving along nicely (faster than I expected, in fact).


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## Cool Ice Dude55 (Jan 7, 2014)

But I've got nothing I want to talk about


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## Cool Ice Dude55 (Jan 7, 2014)

What do you do when you've got nothing to talk about Dinner?


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## Pam (Feb 14, 2009)

Tell her you don't know what to talk about and are having second thoughts about continuing.

If you do keep going, later after like 6 months, you could ask yourself "Is my life expanding?" If yes, then it's probably working. If not, then tell her it's not working out. She may have different approaches to try.


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## Len Phelbs (Jan 21, 2014)

they don't always ask but you can talk about your friends, family, job, school ect.. theres usually some stuff in there once you start.


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## licorice (Oct 5, 2013)

This first, but...



Pam said:


> Tell her you don't know what to talk about and are having second thoughts about continuing.
> 
> If you do keep going, later after like 6 months, you could ask yourself "Is my life expanding?" If yes, then it's probably working. If not, then tell her it's not working out. She may have different approaches to try.


If over time therapy isn't:
1) Providing you with a plan of action, even if it's only steps or attempts, for recovery.
2) Providing you with a safety net when you're at risk of plummeting.
3) Improving your understanding of yourself and your struggles.

You're probably wasting your money. You can always return at a later time, possibly with a different therapist.


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## Cool Ice Dude55 (Jan 7, 2014)

How do you know if a therapist isn't right for you if you've only been to one so you have nothing to compare?


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