# Are you averse to people who have employed prostitutes?



## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

I don't normally post in this section but I'm curious: how do you feel about people who employ 'professionals' because they had no other options, or didn't want to deal with a relationship, or just wanted to get their rocks off quickly, or whatever other reason? Do you feel some aversion to this practice? Are such people 'unclean', morally? I can't say I feel much about it either way, since I see sex as an unfortunate compulsion that nearly everyone is saddled with. But I've also encountered some distaste, apparently some people find it squicky, beyond the legitimate concern about STDs. Where does it stem from?


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## blueidealist26 (Dec 16, 2012)

For some reason I find it gross that someone would be so driven by their sexual needs that they would resort to paying for it. I'm not sure if this is a socially conditioned belief that I have, but anyway, it's there. At least if someone is in an FWB/f-buddy situation, or a relationship, they must like SOMETHING else about the person besides the fact that they satisfy their carnal desires, even if it's just a preference for the same type of movies to watch while in bed or something! lol.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

I find it weird how someone can use another human being as a **** hole. I wouldn't feel good about having sex with someone who just did it for money, and who most likely was counting the minutes until it was over. I understand that some people are desperate for sex, but I _personally_ wouldn't want to be with a guy who bought sex from women. It's an instant turn-off for me. We would not be compatible.


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## Lone Drifter (Jul 10, 2014)

I've never seen the appeal in prostitutes, a few of my friends have used them on occasion but from what they tell me, it just sounds so sterile and vanilla. Not my thing at all. I do find them a bit weak that they've just given up and resorted to such methods, plus there is something creepy about renting out a vagina for a few minutes if I'm being honest.


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## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

Not really. It's not something that I worry about if people want to resort to that. I don't understand the appeal to use a prostitute, myself. You're basically paying someone to use them as a masturbation tool. Not something that seems enticing to me.


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

They belong in jail and on the sex offender registry.



probably offline said:


> I find it weird how someone can use another human being as a **** hole.


Yeah. I cannot imagine the type of sociopath who not only wouldn't mind, but actually gets aroused by the idea of putting a woman through that. That's not someone I would want near me, or near any of my female relatives.



LawfulStupid said:


> because they had no other options


They always have the option to not buy and sell other human beings like a commodity. It is disgusting that you believe sex is more important than basic human rights and dignity.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

I don't judge them, then aren't breaking any law (here) and within the regulated environment it's quite safe.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

I think its gross. It doesn't matter how much I want sex, I would never turn to a prostitute.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Like most things, it depends on the specifics. 

Blanket generalisations don't mix well with complex realities.


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## Stookified666 (Jan 6, 2015)

Very gross and not appealing especially thinking about stds!!!


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

blueidealist26 said:


> For some reason I find it gross that someone would be so driven by their sexual needs that they would resort to paying for it.


There's probably more than one 'type' that employs prostitutes. From horndogs who really can't do without it for two days, to big spenders who want specialized thrills, to those who aren't very sexual at all but feel like they are missing out. There is of course all the social pressure against celibacy and the stigma of virginity.



Shameful said:


> They always have the option to not buy and sell other human beings like a commodity. It is disgusting that you believe sex is more important than basic human rights and dignity.


I wasn't referring to myself, I haven't used such a service and I don't buy into the societal pressure so I'm unlikely to do this anytime soon. I'm sure there are escorts who aren't desperate for cash but are actual professionals. But yeah, selling yourself out because you need the money is indeed a detestable thought.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Not a big deal. Bryan Cranston of Breaking Bad admitted he saw 20 prostitutes on a trip to Amsterdam when he was like 17. **** yeh!!! And he just did it for the experience. If someone is so desperate they can barely handle life anymore, then more power to them if they go see a hooker.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

stds bother me but otherwise I wouldn't really be bothered, especially if I knew they'd been unable to find a girlfriend before that point - not every guy has the luxury of having access to sex for free.


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## Choci Loni (May 12, 2011)

It would never do it for me, and I don't really understand how it could for others.
I don't think it has to be morally repugnant (depending on the context) but I must admit it somewhat affects my view of a person in a negative way all the same.


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## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

I bought a couple massages a while ago. I reduced them to just being hands that rub my back for my own benefit. I'm disgusting. This one time I had to get some repairs done in my home for some termite damage. So I objectified a man, reduced him to some tools and wood. Why do I do such objectifying?? What if they didn't want to do it, but the money I gave was just to coercing?? I just can't help it. My life as a sociopath.


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

I used to think only nerdy desperate virgins frequented prostitutes, as their only way to get laid.

But then I finally met a guy IRL who told me he occasionally screwed prostitutes. I was surprised, since he was quite the alpha and had no problem getting laid with girls he met in bars/clubs.

He didn't care what people thought of him, he enjoyed having sex. He told me "_sometimes, business is going bad for them and they'll give you a good price. Sometimes, if they like you they'll blow you for half a pack of marlboros. That's what happened to me the other day, a bargain I wasn't gonna reject! Some of my best f**ks were with prostitutes. My first one was a lot older than me - she taught me a bunch of cool stuff_ _and helped me ease up during sex._ _If I were to run into her in the streets today, I'd thank her._"


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## lonerchick (Feb 7, 2015)

I won't judge a person because they use a prostitute. As long as consenting adults are having sex with other consenting adults than I just don't care.


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## lonerchick (Feb 7, 2015)

Mr Bacon said:


> He didn't care what people thought of him, he enjoyed having sex. He told me "_sometimes, business is going bad for them and they'll give you a good price. Sometimes, *if they like you they'll blow you for half a pack of marlboros. *That's what happened to me the other day, a bargain I wasn't gonna reject! Some of my best f**ks were with prostitutes. My first one was a lot older than me - she taught me a bunch of cool stuff_ _and helped me ease up during sex._ _If I were to run into her in the streets today, I'd thank her._"


Those are the nasty ones.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

blueidealist26 said:


> For some reason I find it gross that someone would be so driven by their sexual needs that they would resort to paying for it.


 It's not really a mystery, is it? That "some reason" is because you're supposed to find it gross. It's psychological conditioning. Sure. There are things we just naturally find disgusting (like someone picking their nose or the smell of a fart) but I really don't think our instincts are so sophisticated that they have an immediate negative reaction to someone doing what they have to do to get sex. That smacks of conditioning. And you don't have to look too hard to find this conditioning everywhere in this society so if it's obviously there and lots of people have exactly the same reaction and don't even know or care why, there's a good chance they're just mindlessly following their programming.


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## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

It depends. I wouldn't harshly judge a man who visited a prostitute because he had a disability and couldn't find a partner in real life that could fulfill their special needs. I don't think it's fair to expect such people to stay celibate. On the other hand, a man who visited prostitutes because he was sexually reckless and gratuitous, is probably someone I'd judge more. Though it would still depend on the rest of his character, and also the kind of prostitute he visited. Not all prostitutes are unhappy about prostituting, though I think the majority are. 

I think I'd discriminate more readily against someone who saw a prostitute to fulfill some kind of sex act that I think is unsavoury. Even if it's unfair, I can't get passed my disgust for certain things.:stu


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

slightly distasteful, but forgivable


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Ignopius said:


> I think its gross. It doesn't matter how much I want sex, I would never turn to a prostitute.


 What do you want? The Nobel Peace Prize? :lol


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I wouldn't judge a person for being with a hooker, and I would try it if it weren't illegal here. I disagree with the sex offender comparison, that is blowing it WAY out of proportion.


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## Dre12 (Jul 25, 2014)

A lot of the guys I have known that visit brothels and so on, they do have unhealthy views on women. There is a lack of empathy a lot of the time when men visit prostitutes, especially street workers. Those girls are often drug addicted, desperate and broken. 

At the other end of the scale, at the high class end, the workers are a lot more empowered and yes some of them actually enjoy that work. It is a conscious decision for them to pursue that career opportunity and financially it is a very good one.

It always depends on the specifics.

Personally I have never visited a prostitute and don't envision myself ever doing so, it doesn't work for me on a number of levels.


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## roxybudgy (Jan 26, 2015)

How would you feel about someone who robs the Apple store every year because they can't afford the latest iPhone otherwise?

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with sex workers who enter the sex industry completely willingly (not forced by others, out of desperation or drug addiction), and I don't see anything wrong with people indulging in the services offered by these workers.

But it's all about attitude, as other posters have already said in various ways.

I am averse to the type of guys who go to hookers and consider women, especially prostitutes, to be beneath them, and treat them like disposable goods. They consider their money to be paying for a object that belongs to them (albeit for a limited period of time), as opposed to a service performed by another human being.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

roxybudgy said:


> How would you feel about someone who robs the Apple store every year because they can't afford the latest iPhone otherwise?


The difference being that we don't all have a built-in compulsion for Apple products, and there's no shaming for not acquiring a certain amount of Apple products in one's lifetime, by a certain age, or whatever other criteria. But I completely agree with the rest of your post.


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

LawfulStupid said:


> The difference being that we don't all have a built-in Apple addiction, and there's no shaming for not acquiring a certain amount of Apple products in one's lifetime, by a certain age, or whatever other criteria. But I completely agree with the rest of your post.


So your 'addiction' (which, btw, plenty of people who aren't having sex don't feel the need to mistreat women) makes it ok to treat women like they're objects?


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## John Energy (Aug 26, 2006)

Not as an absolute, but
I'm very concerned that a large proportion of people in that profession are coerced. And I'm very averse to that.


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## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

I find people who buy other people's bodies pathetic to put it kindly.


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

roxybudgy said:


> How would you feel about someone who robs the Apple store every year because they can't afford the latest iPhone otherwise?


The analogy works against your point.

Johns are paying for the service, while regular dudes getting laid in bars are "robbing it for free."


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## roxybudgy (Jan 26, 2015)

Mr Bacon said:


> The analogy works against your point.
> 
> Johns are paying for the service, while regular dudes getting laid in bars are "robbing it for free."


Not necessarily. The exchange of money is unrelated to the point I was making.

Buying an iPhone is the "traditional" way of procuring an item of desire (not need, if you needed a phone, there are much cheaper alternatives), and stealing one is "non-traditional".

In this analogy, hooking up with someone, be it a one-night stand or long term relationship, is seen as the "traditional" way to get sex, while paying a hooker is "non-traditional". Prostitution may be the world's oldest profession, but I'm sure humans were having sex long before money was invented.

I was going to use the word "normal", but I really hate that vague ever-changing term.

In terms of cultural perceptions (whether one is averse or not), depends not just on the result, but the path you choose to get that result. Like how top athletes are celebrated, but those found to be using steroids are scorned.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Why do discussions about this on hear always become about exploitative (or pathetic) men using vulnerable women?
Women visit sex workers as well, but it doesn't really get discussed because it doesn't fit the narrative. And not all sex workers are abused, hate their situation or a weak and vulnerable. Society makes them vulnerable by not letting them organise, not giving them respect and rights, but many say the work itself doesn't at all.
Obviously those that do need help should get it, but we don't help people by using overly simplistic caricatures.

That doesn't mean people have to like it of course. There are many things that aren't necessarily harmful that people can dislike for various reasons. And there certainly are connotations to this in particular, which does affect how people see it, but I think the level of outrage at it is often misguided.

On topic though, it's not something I'd ever do myself and I think it probably would affect how I saw a person to some extent, or at least raise some questions I'd need answered.
But how I ultimately view a person is about a sum of many parts rather than any one particular thing.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Ah, the good old liberal/feminist collective self-righteousness. 

"Tolerance.....as long as you do as we say. All the way down to what you do with your private parts"


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## Aribeth (Jan 14, 2012)

I have no problem with guys who used prostitutes. I also have no problem with prostitution and stuff like this, just in case someone's wondering.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

roxybudgy said:


> How would you feel about someone who robs the Apple store every year because they can't afford the latest iPhone otherwise?





Mr Bacon said:


> The analogy works against your point.
> 
> Johns are paying for the service, while regular dudes getting laid in bars are "robbing it for free."


 It's very revealing though, when you think about it. Evidently, such a person thinks a man who gets an easy lay (even if the women he paid is fine with it and doesn't agree with people who have problems with prostitution) has literally *stolen* something (WTF?). As usual, if the majority of feminists don't agree with a male in the context of sexuality, it's akin to rape.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

I wouldn't hate someone for it, but there's a huge issue I have with it.

I would have absolutely no problem with prostitution if we lived in this magical land where all prostitutes were simply grown women who liked having sex and didn't mind making money off it, and all men who visited them respected their choice and only wanted to do things they both consented to, and where there was no risk of harm to the woman.

And a lot of men who visit them actually believe that's the way the world works.......Sadly *that is not the f***ing world we live in!* Sure, there are _some_ prostitutes who enter the business willingly, but definitely not the majority. A lot of the women are forced into the trade, either directly (by being kidnapped or forced) or through poverty or drug addiction, not to mention there are insane risks of getting harmed or raped, a lot of the men who "visit" them can be pretty crazy. A lot of prostitutes hate their lives and hate what they have in order to survive.

Before anyone makes the legalisation argument, yes, I agree, legalised prostitution could make a lot of it safer for the women or men working in the sex trade, provided there's records, rules and laws, not to mention security, to ensure their safety.


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## Aribeth (Jan 14, 2012)

Ntln said:


> And a lot of men who visit them actually believe that's the way the world works.......Sadly *that is not the f***ing world we live in!* Sure, there are _some_ prostitutes who enter the business willingly, but definitely not the majority. A lot of the women are forced into the trade, either directly (by being kidnapped or forced) or through poverty or drug addiction, not to mention there are insane risks of getting harmed or raped, a lot of the men who "visit" them can be pretty crazy. A lot of prostitutes hate their lives and hate what they have in order to survive.


And why exactly do you care about any of that?


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## Sleeper92 (Oct 3, 2010)

I have no problems with prostitutes


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

Aribeth said:


> And why exactly do you care about any of that?


I don't campaign for the issue or anything, a thread asked people's opinions and I gave mine.


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## shycat69 (Nov 16, 2014)

I don't like the idea of judging a person for what they do (within limits). When I was a virgin I didn't buy sex as I felt that I need a connection with the girl I have sex with (love or lust - an emotional feeling). Also I'd rather masturbate if I feel horny and am between girl friends. That's just my opinion. Different people have different desires.


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## Apathie (Dec 21, 2013)

Not particularly, no. There are always two sides. The women who deliberately sell their bodies for sex should not be left out of the equation.
I'm not sure i'd want a boyfriend who employed a prostitute, though.


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

Milco said:


> Why do discussions about this on hear always become about exploitative (or pathetic) men using vulnerable women?
> Women visit sex workers as well, but it doesn't really get discussed because it doesn't fit the narrative.


Whether that's true or not, why do I get the feeling you really don't care about those male prostitutes or those female johns? Since I know you're pro-prostitution I'm thinking you're just using it to justify continuing to make women suffer under sex work, 'a tiny amount of women are monsters so lets ignore the huge amount of men buying human beings'.


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## aGenericUsername (Apr 7, 2013)

I think 1 in 4 men have been with a prostitute so it's not some underground thing. 

Some people consider going to be prostitute "using her for sex", some people see it as just paying for a service. What's the difference between that and getting a massage? Oh wait I forgot sex is bad and evil


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Shameful said:


> Whether that's true or not, why do I get the feeling you really don't care about those male prostitutes or those female johns? Since I know you're pro-prostitution I'm thinking you're just using it to justify continuing to make women suffer under sex work, 'a tiny amount of women are monsters so lets ignore the huge amount of men buying human beings'.


Do you believe woman who visit male prostitutes should go to jail and be on the sex offender registry?


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

AussiePea said:


> Do you believe woman who visit male prostitutes should go to jail and be on the sex offender registry?


Of course.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Shameful said:


> Of course.


Good, I'll put the torch down then.


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

AussiePea said:


> Good, I'll put the torch down then.


That doesn't mean I'm going to stop using the gendered language of referring to male perpetrators and female victims. Because that's what's actually happening in reality. Prostitution and porn are gendered crimes, it is a form of men oppressing women, being allowed to buy, sell and trade their bodies. Your hypothetical woman hiring a man for sex doesn't negate that.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Shameful said:


> That doesn't mean I'm going to stop using the gendered language of referring to male perpetrators and female victims. Because that's what's actually happening in reality. Prostitution and porn are gendered crimes, it is a form of men oppressing women, being allowed to buy, sell and trade their bodies. Your hypothetical woman hiring a man for sex doesn't negate that.


It's not a hypothesis.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Shameful said:


> Whether that's true or not, why do I get the feeling you really don't care about those male prostitutes or those female johns? Since I know you're pro-prostitution I'm thinking you're just using it to justify continuing to make women suffer under sex work, 'a tiny amount of women are monsters so lets ignore the huge amount of men buying human beings'.


What does it mean to be "pro-prostitution"? Is it simply to not favour criminalisation? Because in that case I (and I would hope most people) am "pro" many things I am strongly against.
And is it more caring to decide for these people that they are all currently being harmed and that banning it will help them, regardless of their own wishes and lessons learned from other countries where they have made bans? I'd think that caring and wanting to help would involve listening to the people your 'help' is targeted at and dismissing it out of hand if they disagree with you.
Even our far left party here are against criminalisation, because they don't see it as a good way of helping the people who do need help, but instead fear it would just push it underground, make those needing help harder to reach and making their conditions much worse.
When the discussion of a topic becomes steeped in dogmatic interpretations, where everybody who has differing opinions are evil and should never be listened to, it's really impossible to find appropriate solutions to any issue.


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## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

I don't get how porn is a gendered crime. Men are in those movies as well having sex with women. Men are an equal counterpart to the women in the scene. Their bodies are also being bought and sold, the exact same as the women. Or do they not count because they are male.


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## aGenericUsername (Apr 7, 2013)

AussiePea said:


> Do you believe woman who visit male prostitutes should go to jail and be on the sex offender registry?


People who get caught with prostitutes go on the sex offender registry in your country?

Where I'm at it's a slap on the wrist. Probably a fine and some kind of counseling.


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## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

aGenericUsername said:


> People who get caught with prostitutes go on the sex offender registry in your country?
> 
> Where I'm at it's a slap on the wrist. Probably a fine and some kind of counseling.


No. Prostitution is legal.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

aGenericUsername said:


> People who get caught with prostitutes go on the sex offender registry in your country?
> 
> Where I'm at it's a slap on the wrist. Probably a fine and some kind of counseling.


No they do not, it was the opinion that they should by another poster in here, I was just ruling out hypocrisy with that post.


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

aGenericUsername said:


> Where I'm at it's a slap on the wrist. Probably a fine and some kind of counseling.


That's horrible! The public needs to know what they did so they take precautions when being around them or letting their children around them. Here in most states, patronizing a prostitute or promoting prostitution gets you registered.


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## aGenericUsername (Apr 7, 2013)

Shameful said:


> That's horrible! The public needs to know what they did so they take precautions when being around them or letting their children around them. Here in most states, patronizing a prostitute or promoting prostitution gets you registered.


Just from looking at my local registry, most of the people on it are for straight up sexual assault, voyeurism (usually distributing photos rather than peeping), indecent exposure (I think only deliberately showing your private area to someone warrants this so if you're walking around naked for no reason you won't get registered), having sex with minors under 16, child molestation, incest, and kidnapping (don't know why this is one here). You only have to register if the prostitute is under 16.

There is actually a female prostitute on the registry where I live. She had a client under 16.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Ntln said:


> I would have absolutely no problem with prostitution if we lived in this magical land where all prostitutes were simply grown women who liked having sex and didn't mind making money off it, and all men who visited them respected their choice and only wanted to do things they both consented to, and where there was no risk of harm to the woman.


 I know I'm sticking my neck out here to say this but I really don't care because it needs to be said.

Women generally don't like sex the same way men do so to put such a stipulation on it that a prostitute has to actually like doing it on top of consenting to it is knowingly stacking the deck.

As has been pointed out so many millions of times, prostitution is really just a job and most people do not particularly enjoy their jobs. They merely endure them. Prostitution just has a lot of extra baggage because people get crazy and get a lot of bizarre hangups when it comes to sex.

Anyway, a prostitute can easily be entirely willing and not mind doing it while at the same time not particularly enjoy it. That is pretty much the way ALL people look at their jobs. And frankly, most of these women do have or could have alternatives in most of the civilized countries.



> And a lot of men who visit them actually believe that's the way the world works.......Sadly *that is not the f***ing world we live in!* Sure, there are _some_ prostitutes who enter the business willingly, but definitely not the majority.


 And you know this to be an absolute fact how, exactly? Do you have some kind of personal experience you can talk about or did you see an anti-prostitution documentary or read a bunch of articles written by people who have an obvious bias against it?



> Before anyone makes the legalisation argument, yes, I agree, legalised prostitution could make a lot of it safer for the women or men working in the sex trade, provided there's records, rules and laws, not to mention security, to ensure their safety.


 Well maybe if the world we live it wasn't dominated by governments that think every time they are given the opportunity to regulate something that means they can go absolutely hog wild and regulate it out of existence, that would be possible.

If the government in most countries were to regulate a legal prostitution industry, they would regulate the woman's choice entirely out of the equation. She would not be allowed to choose to do anything that the government deemed to be bad even if she wanted to. People who create regulations are always control freaks. They don't know how to regulate anything with a light touch. Everything has to be strict and harsh or it's just not good enough for them. And if they don't start out that way, they will always go there eventually. Because that is always what they really want anyway.

Anyway, EVERY job is prostitution. You are ALWAYS selling your body when you do work for other people. Sex does not make it different. It only seems different to some people because they think with their emotions. When you have an emotional objection to something, it will obviously override your ability to think about it objectively.


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## GangsterOfLove (Apr 23, 2013)

It's the worlds oldest business. It's never going to go away. As long as it's not the situation where someone is being forced, as in basically having a gun pointed to their head, into such a profession, then let it be.


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

GangsterOfLove said:


> It's the worlds oldest business. It's never going to go away. As long as it's not the situation where someone is being forced, as in basically having a gun pointed to their head, into such a profession, then let it be.


You don't think there are other types of force that can be just as powerful? Consider if your boss decided to fire you unless you performed sexual favors, how would that fear of unemployment in a bad economy affect your decision? If your professor in college would fail you or give you a low enough grade to lose your scholarship if you didn't have sex with him?


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

I wouldn't be interested and wouldn't have any sympathy for them.


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## GangsterOfLove (Apr 23, 2013)

Shameful said:


> You don't think there are other types of force that can be just as powerful? Consider if your boss decided to fire you unless you performed sexual favors, how would that fear of unemployment in a bad economy affect your decision? If your professor in college would fail you or give you a low enough grade to lose your scholarship if you didn't have sex with him?


Okay, but looking at prostitution outside of situations in which someone is forced to do it, I still don't see why a person who just wants sex and so hires a prositute, is such a terrible thing. But whatever, this has probably been said a thousand times already.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

There are many different types of sex work, and sex workers come from many different backgrounds. Sex work takes place in many vastly differing situations around the world. Some of those situations are problematic/harmful/damaging, others not so.

Generalising about it as though it's either _all_ ok or all not ok only reinforces stigmatisation.

Brief interview with one particular sex worker:






A sex worker speaking at a conference:

(nothing particularly remarkable about the content of the video, I include it merely so people can see that at least this _one particular_ sex worker may not fit a preconceived notion of what all sex workers are like)


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

GangsterOfLove said:


> Okay, but looking at prostitution outside of situations in which someone is forced to do it, I still don't see why a person who just wants sex and so hires a prositute, is such a terrible thing. But whatever, this has probably been said a thousand times already.


Well, first I just want to say "outside of situations in which someone is forced to do it" is pretty rare. No one really dreams of becoming a prostitute one day, it's dangerous, it can be painful, it comes with social stigma, and especially where it's illegal that's all greatly increased. There may be a handful who really do honestly love their job, but the reality is that any prostitute you encounter is almost certainly there because she has to be, and not because she wants to be.

The main thing though, is that this thread is about whether you have a problem with guys who've been to prostitutes. Not how you feel about prostitution, generally, but how you feel about that specific guy who actually went through with it (and based on the use of plural in the title, went through with it more than once). So, how do you feel about a guy who gets sexually aroused and excited by the idea of having sex with a woman who doesn't enjoy or want to do it? I would feel disgusted, and pretty scared of him. What is wrong with his brain that he could not just do it, but enjoy it, and enjoy it so much he went back again? If he thinks that women can just be used unilaterally for his own pleasure as objects no more important than a blow up doll, then why should I think I'm the one special woman in the world who he can actually see as a human worth respecting?


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## lonerchick (Feb 7, 2015)

Shameful said:


> That's horrible! The public needs to know what they did so they take precautions when being around them or letting their children around them. *Here in most states, patronizing a prostitute or promoting prostitution gets you registered.*


Where do you live? Johns get sent home or misdemeanor if they do get a charge. The prostitute themselves get in more trouble but they don't register for anything.


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## persona non grata (Jul 13, 2011)

I don't think there's anything inherently different between prostitution and any other sort of work. 

I do think that in practice though, a lot of prostitution takes place in forms that I would consider to be morally objectionable and unsafe. I guess in and of itself it wouldn't bother me that much to learn someone has had sex with a prostitute, but depending on the specifics I might feel differently.


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## Kind Of (Jun 11, 2014)

Most people approaching most people just want to get their rocks off, and many will gladly lie and cause harm to get it. Are they "cleaner" just because money isn't involved?

It's all about the context. I don't think it's necessarily wrong to have paid for sex, but I do associate the choice with a very specific type of unsavory person and they might be who I'm meeting in this scenario.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Shameful said:


> That's horrible! The public needs to know what they did so they take precautions when being around them or letting their children around them. Here in most states, patronizing a prostitute or promoting prostitution gets you registered.


Wait a second.

Being attracted to fully grown, adult women over the age of 21 means that you're going to abuse children?

That's the stupidest logic I've ever heard, and very similar to the "all gay people are pedophiles" logic that Republican conservatives spout off.

----

The answer is, yes, prostitution does have victims, but not every prostitute is a victim, and not every John (I hate that word) is a predator. Sometimes people want to have sex outside of relationships, and since it's hard for some people to do that, they pay for it. End of discussion.


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

DeeperUnderstanding said:


> Wait a second.
> 
> Being attracted to fully grown, adult women over the age of 21 means that you're going to abuse children?
> 
> That's the stupidest logic I've ever heard, and very similar to the "all gay people are pedophiles" logic that Republican conservatives spout off.


Sex crimes are rarely about attraction, they're about power and hatred.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

I dont care. I dont judge.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Shameful said:


> Sex crimes are rarely about attraction, they're about power and hatred.


Having casual sex with money attached is NOT a sex crime.


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## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

DeeperUnderstanding said:


> Having casual sex with money attached is NOT a sex crime.


So in your mind casual sex is solely for the pleasure of the man, something he's getting from the woman regardless of whether she wants it, enjoys it, or even has a choice? To you, women's sexual role is that of a blow up doll, emotionless, pleasureless, toys for your enjoyment?

I'll be avoiding you now.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Shameful said:


> So in your mind casual sex is solely for the pleasure of the man, something he's getting from the woman regardless of whether she wants it, enjoys it, or even has a choice? To you, women's sexual role is that of a blow up doll, emotionless, pleasureless, toys for your enjoyment?
> 
> I'll be avoiding you now.


What makes you believe that a woman having casual sex can't enjoy having sex?

People, both men and women, have casual sex because they enjoy it. Sex is fun, or at least, it should be.


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## social worker (Sep 15, 2014)

scooby said:


> I bought a couple massages a while ago. I reduced them to just being hands that rub my back for my own benefit. I'm disgusting. This one time I had to get some repairs done in my home for some termite damage. So I objectified a man, reduced him to some tools and wood. Why do I do such objectifying?? What if they didn't want to do it, but the money I gave was just to coercing?? I just can't help it. My life as a sociopath.


LOL, that's classic...


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