# Visiting a prostitute a legitimate response to SA?



## Joeb (Aug 6, 2005)

Just want some opinions on this. I hadn't had sex for 2 years and 6 months and it was driving me crazy. Plus, here in Prague it is legal and there are "night clubs" all over the place. So I visited 2, one on Saturday and one on Sunday.

I'm not guilty about it either. I actually really enjoyed it, and it was nice to have sex without having to go through any dates or anything like that. Plus, it broke my involuntary celibacy. 

Did I mention both of the girls were very good looking? Best I've ever had - the other girls I've been with were all chubby.

And I discovered that this sort of thing is really common. By that I mean tourists come here (and go to Bangkok) just for the prostitutes. I used to think it was immoral ... but now I'm glad they are out there.

And yes, I used protection. There was no kissing and no gential to gential or genital to mouth contact. I'm very worried about STD's so I would never do that with a hooker.

One last thing ... I saw some other guys at these clubs (night club = brothel here), and some of them were really good looking. If they'd spoken English instead of Czech I would've asked them what they were doing in a brothel.

Yeah, I'm kind of defensive about this, but I'm expecting some people to condemn me for this. I certainly wouldn't bring this up anywhere else - maybe not even with a confidential therapist.


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

Yuck uke


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## mserychic (Oct 2, 2004)

I see nothing wrong with it as long as you have no probs with it. All I was going to say is make sure ya use protection but you got that covered


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## Thunder (Nov 5, 2003)

> got that covered


 :lol


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## mserychic (Oct 2, 2004)

Thunder said:


> > got that covered
> 
> 
> :lol


Oh geez I should think before I type ops :lol


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

mserychic said:


> Thunder said:
> 
> 
> > > got that covered
> ...


nah, that was funny :lol


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

"And I discovered that this sort of thing is really common. By that I mean tourists come here (and go to Bangkok) just for the prostitutes. I used to think it was immoral ... but now I'm glad they are out there."

Jees not to make fun but I didn't know that there was a person that didn't know that. Its the same with the Netherlands, although they also have the drugs :nw

I guess there also legal here in Canada, but you can't talk about it. You can hire an escourt and they 'might' have sex with you, as in will but they can't say that. :um

ive never hired one btw, and don't plan on it. I don't have problem if other people wanna do it though.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

AdamCanada said:


> ive never hired one btw, and don't plan on it. I don't have problem if other people wanna do it though.


 :ditto


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

Well, I guess it's an understandable response, and if you felt it did something for you I can't begrudge you it. It just seems kind of a dead end to me. You said that one relief about it was that you didn't have to go through the jumps and hoops of dating; the flipside of that is that there's also nothing that happens after. 

I don't know --- but to me, the most legitimate response to SA is one that enables you to function in a real relationship. It's possible associating with women like this will help relieve you of some anxiety around women (if that's your problem) but it could just as well become a crutch that atrophies whatever ability you have to interact with regular women. I'd just be wary of that.


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## redkit (Mar 14, 2006)

I prefer masturbation.
Visiting prostitutes is waste of money and getting risk of hepatitis or AIDS virus.


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## Bon (Dec 24, 2005)

AdamCanada said:


> "And I discovered that this sort of thing is really common. By that I mean tourists come here (and go to Bangkok) just for the prostitutes. I used to think it was immoral ... but now I'm glad they are out there."


If this is what you want to do, fine, however, I wouldn't justify it by commonality. Children being sold in Thailand is really popular too, and tourist from all over buy them. uke


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## likewater (Aug 3, 2006)

sounds like you aren't 100% ok with it, otherwise why ask for peoples opinions on it? imo there is nothing morally reprehensible about it, the women are simply performing a service for which they get paid. no harm no foul.


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## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

I had a very unique opportunity last month when I encountered an extremely plump black girl dressed like a ballerina prostituting herself in the frozen foods section of my local grocery store. I kid you not~ She said I had "pretty hair" - must've been really desperate. I turned her down and ran away, which was a wise and ethical thing to do, I guess. When I got home I started to think and eventually drove back to the store. When I returned it seemed the manager had kicked her out as she was wandering the parking lot, walking up to men as they got out of their cars. I watched from a distance as she got into some guy's car and the two of them drove away. ; - ; Damn.

I might be curious enough to do it once, or maybe a hundred times, but after that I'm not sure there would be a point anymore. Seems like a dead end to me, as Argo said. I don't think it's a very healthy response to SA, but when I think about my alternative, I don't know. All depends on my mood.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

F'n a prostitute almost seems more pathetic than remaining a virgin, IMO. But that's just me. I personally have absolutely no interest in going somewhere where countless guys before me have already been. It just seems so dirty.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I guess it's true that when you have relations like that, you "get to know" everybody that person has been with. :stu.

I don't know - It's just something I wouldn't do. :stu.


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## James of Maine (Sep 8, 2005)

It's not impossible to find someone (non-pro and of legal age, of course) over the internet with whom to arrange a plain-'ol consensual hookup. Not that I necessarily advocate that, but it's probably preferable to seeing a hooker. I did manage it once when I was a single, a fact for which I am neither proud nor ashamed. To be fairly blunt: why pay when you can get it for free?


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## Laura (Nov 12, 2003)

I think it's gross, and no respectable woman would want to be with a guy who has been with prostitutes.


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

Laura said:


> I think it's gross, and no respectable woman would want to be with a guy who has been with prostitutes.


theres a hell of alot guys that respectable women don't wanna be with then, of course they wouldn't know it.


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

jamesofmaine said:


> To be fairly blunt: why pay when you can get it for free?


To also be fairly blunt...who in the hell ever gets sex for free?

Even in dating, there's a monetary aspect to getting sex. Dinner, movies, gifts...those don't cost a single cent? Where, and when would that be the case? And there's the emotional cost as well.

To the OP, I can't fault you for what you did. I'm no fan of prostitution, but I also know that for many (males and females), there are no other real options. And not everyone can be satisfied with masturbation or celibacy. You did what you had to do.

And I do consider myself a respectable female. But I'm also a realist.


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## James of Maine (Sep 8, 2005)

Maseur Shado said:


> jamesofmaine said:
> 
> 
> > To be fairly blunt: why pay when you can get it for free?
> ...


In my case, it _was_ essentially free. It was a hookup, a... uh... sort of house call, after talking and flirting online. It wasn't a date. No dinner-and-a-movie stuff involved.

Yeah, I know, not classy. I was young, stupid, vulnerable, and clueless, and found someone of the opposite sex and same age group who was in the same boat (and in retrospect probably had some self-respect issues too). I don't know how she felt about it in the end, but I learned from it, put it behind me, and didn't end up continuing down that path.

I digress, but I felt I needed to clarify what I meant.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

I'm not a big fan of them either. But I have seen the show Cathouse on HBO. One one hand, the girls are making a lot of money (which they might not be able to make), but the guy who owns the club (and them) takes a lot of it.

There are a lot of problems with kidnapping girls from certain countries and forcing them to work there. Or the girls are addicted to drugs and need the money.

I have gone to a strip club a few times in the past year and I find that if you go a little earlier, you can practice making small talk with girls. They all will be willing to talk with you. That might be a better way to fix SA. (And you won't have to keep it a secret from girls you date)

That being said, I can also see that there are some guys who could never get a girl to like them in that way, and if they get to be over 40 and have never had sex, that it would be acceptable to visit these places.


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

jamesofmaine said:


> In my case, it _was_ essentially free. It was a hookup, a... uh... sort of house call, after talking and flirting online. It wasn't a date. No dinner-and-a-movie stuff involved.
> 
> Yeah, I know, not classy. I was young, stupid, vulnerable, and clueless, and found someone of the opposite sex and same age group who was in the same boat (and in retrospect probably had some self-respect issues too). I don't know how she felt about it in the end, but I learned from it, put it behind me, and didn't end up continuing down that path.
> 
> I digress, but I felt I needed to clarify what I meant.


You proved my point then. Real dates and real relationships always cost money. :b


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

> . To be fairly blunt: why pay when you can get it for free?


Not everyone can get it for free.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

Futures said:


> F'n a prostitute almost seems more pathetic than remaining a virgin, IMO. But that's just me. I personally have absolutely no interest in going somewhere where countless guys before me have already been. It just seems so dirty.


:ditto
I decided a long time ago I'm never going down that road. I would rather die a virgin than pay for those services. I want to feel desireable and attractive to another person and to know they actually want to be with me physically. It would mean so much more to me if it were with someone special who I cared about too. I've lived without sex this long and I've survived. Its actually not a big deal to me anymore, at this point in my life I would much rather have emotional intimacy than sex.


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## odun (Nov 9, 2003)

Zephyr said:


> > . To be fairly blunt: why pay when you can get it for free?
> 
> 
> Not everyone can get it for free.


maybe not everyone. but most can, obviously for some it is a harder task than it is for others.

unless you have two heads, like to torture cats or weigh 1,100 pounds, you can find someone, somewhere, who is willing to have sex with you.


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## cat burglar (Sep 2, 2006)

Using prostitutes is an act of desperation. When you finally meet that special someone and have the unavoidable talk about previous sexual experiences, do you want to have to tell her that before you met her you used to pay for hookers?

I'd be running far far away if a girl told me that. uke

When I feel bad about myself it's comforting to remember that someone loved me enough and found me attractive enough that we were very close and had sex. I think it would only hurt my self-esteem (a lot!) if I'd only lost my virginity because I paid some ***** for 30 minutes.... not to mention you don't get the full experience with a prostitute because there's no emotional attachment, no history... not even kissing in most cases. And you probably don't reciprocate, and wouldn't want to anyway! What's the good of that?


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

No point in me doing this. I'd just feel empty and like crap. At one time the physical part of sex was a huge desire. Now unfortunately it's more about the desire for the emotional connection which is even harder to have.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

odun said:


> Zephyr said:
> 
> 
> > > . To be fairly blunt: why pay when you can get it for free?
> ...


Yes but if you're looking for physical satisfaction why not pay the extra money to be with someone they find physically attractive?


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

I see nothing wrong with it. I'm so terrible at socializing that it would be easier just to pay for it.

Unlike other people on this board, I don't seem to have any desire for emotional contact with a partner. I did when I was younger. Maybe it's that damn zoloft.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

> Unlike other people on this board, I don't seem to have any desire for emotional contact with a partner. I did when I was younger. Maybe it's that damn zoloft.


I'm exactly the same. I used zoloft too. I don't even want any physical contact.


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## Joeb (Aug 6, 2005)

I'd like to point out that I am not saying I am glad that *child* prostitutes exist. That's just wrong.

A lot of people are reacting by saying it is gross, wrong, or will leave you feeling empty, and what would your future wife say?

Well, let me say I felt this way as well before. The first time I actually went into one of these clubs I felt like "I am definitely in the wrong place" and I left. 

It still feels a little weird going into one of these clubs, actually. But knowing that I can get physical satisfaction feels good, even if I'm paying for it.

As for it being gross, I realize these girls have a higer risk of being exposed to an STD, that is why I take precautions.

And no, it did not leave me feeling empty. I felt really really good afterwards. I would like to get emotional support as well, but at least I can get physical satisfaction from these girls.

And I would never tell a potential wife or mate that I did it. They don't need to know everything about me.

I know in the U.S., this is a big deal. It is illegal and they have a bad rep because the U.S. is such a puritanical country. But here, a lot of guys do it. How can it be so wrong if so many guys (locals and tourists) are doing it?

I guess I am feeling a bit guilty about it. Not during or immediately afterwards, but the day after is a little weird. 

And so you know, I have gotten girls to sleep with me without paying them. I didn't lose my virginity this way or anything like that. It's just been a long time and I'm usually shut up in my room playing Nethack or reading so I don't get many opportunities for sex. I could go to parties and meet girls but the idea terrifies me. That is why I mostly stay by myself and read. 

Anyway, it is good to get some responses, even the negative ones.


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

Personally i could never look for a prostitute for the same reason i cannot walk up and talk to normal girls. Perhaps it's easier in countries where it is legal, at least you have a more secure and clean environment, and the girls are willing professionals rather being just desperate. Indeed, one of the things that keeps me from even thinking of trying is that i cannot bear the idea of causing more torment to those poor women just to satisfy myself. Not that it matters though, my SA would never allow me to even try, as i said. 

I guess i'll have to resign of remaining a virgin for the rest of my life, which is rather hard for me as unlike some people here my sex drive always goes through the roof. Every time i'm in close proximity to a girl i feel like i can't breath, my hurt starts pumping at 300 miles an hour and i get shots of electricity going through my whole body. Without intimacy i'm a like a fish out of water and of course it had to happen to me to have the one condition that will forver prevement me from finding somebody to fill my life with.

I don't know how it is for you but i can definitely understand your position. Pathetic or not, when the alternative is to grow old and die alone considerations of wounded pride or shame are going to appear rather trivial...


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

jamesofmaine said:


> It's not impossible to find someone (non-pro and of legal age, of course) over the internet with whom to arrange a plain-'ol consensual hookup.


How the heck does that work?


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

Zephyr said:


> Not everyone can get it for free.


Women get it for free... :b


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## Ross (Apr 10, 2004)

There's absolutley nothing wrong with visiting a prostitute. You understably have a need and she's providing a service.

There's nothing to be ashamed of or to feel guilty about.

Personally, I think remaining a virgin, especially dieing a virgin is more pathetic. And what's the alternative to visiting a prostitute, sitting there with a massive porn collection? Wouldn't that look worse?

People need a sexual outlet, it's completely unatural to be living the whole of your life without ever having a sexual experience, or very rarely having sexual experiences.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

A lot of people go through life in a monogamous relationship, too. That's my goal and probably the goal of many (if not all) guys on here.


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## Ross (Apr 10, 2004)

That's fine but some people can't get that, probably never will get that, and can't get anything. 

Myself included.


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## Joeb (Aug 6, 2005)

I can't say I'm a big fan of monogamous relationships. That's possibly because the girls I was in relationships with had some problems (depression, low confidence), so it wasn't as good as it could have been. 

I might like another relationship like that, but I would demand a confident woman who isn't going to get depressed just because something doesn't go her way.

And I agree that going through life without sex is unnatural. Catholic priests are supposed to be celibate and they have a really hard time with it, and I think that says something about the importance of sex. (Please no flames or comments about little boys, I'm making a serious point).

Plus, I used to have that giant porn collection and ... it is kind of embarrasing. I was afraid to let anyone else use my computer for fear they might find it. Sure, I have a couple magazines now, but before I had gigs and gigs of it on my computer. There is a big difference between a couple of Playboys and a bunch of computer porn. That is, the Playboys are much more acceptable.

**MM75 Edit 1**: Reference to website removed


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## Ross (Apr 10, 2004)

I'd just like to say that I'm not saying there is anything wrong with having a lot of porn. If you're in our situation it is totaly understandable. I'm 30 myself and never so much as had a woman act like she's interested in me.

It's just that visiting a prostitute sure comes across as being a lot more healthier than sitting there in a room with a big stack of porn next to you.


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## copper (Nov 10, 2003)

The problem with this is three letters. AIDS!


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Ross said:


> I'd just like to say that I'm not saying there is anything wrong with having a lot of porn. If you're in our situation it is totaly understandable. I'm 30 myself and never so much as had a woman act like she's interested in me.
> 
> It's just that visiting a prostitute sure comes across as being a lot more healthier than sitting there in a room with a big stack of porn next to you.


I always hope there will be - half the problem is we aren't seeing it!


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

copper said:


> The problem with this is three letters. AIDS!


that's 4 letters :lol


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## copper (Nov 10, 2003)

Becky said:


> copper said:
> 
> 
> > The problem with this is three letters. AIDS!
> ...


Yeah I realize it. I must of been thinking of HIV. :lol


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

copper said:


> Becky said:
> 
> 
> > copper said:
> ...


or STD :b 
Either way, you can catch a lot of nasty stuff :lol


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Speaking of STD, I recently heard it as STI for "infections"; not to get completely off-topic, but if you hear it that way, then you'll know. Everybody has to watch out for creepy infections - they can do a lot of damage to the body.


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## LoveThySelf (May 19, 2006)

"How can it be so wrong if so many guys (locals and tourists) are doing it? "

That is the worst excuse for doing something ever. If you want to own up to being cool with exchanging money for sex then fine. But dont use the fact that its common in your country as a sheld against people that find it repulsive. 

And then there is this:

"I would never tell a potential wife or mate that I did it. They don't need to know everything about me."

IMO risky sexual history is something very important to know about your mate.

Perhaps Im just being a puritanic American girl, but I find the idea of paying for sex pathetic. But if it works for you, do what you need to, and continue being careful.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

I can't see myself doing that. It would freak me out (because of my SA). Besides it doesn't really achieve anything. And it does seem a little pathetic. But I can understand why you would - but I would probably prefer to pay someone to pretend to be my girlfriend or something, just to spend some time close to someone. Anyway its not as if I couldnt find a gf if I just tried harder - I think anyone could given enough time and effort.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

andy1984 said:


> Anyway its not as if I couldnt find a gf if I just tried harder - I think anyone could given enough time and effort.


We need to keep this in mind!
We are impatient - some more than others.
There is a time for everything - for me, rushing into a girlfriend-for-pay isn't worth it, when the one could be at the next turn.
We have to get ourselves out there and be able to handle the social situations first, anyway! :yes


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## beckjcream (Feb 20, 2005)

jamesofmaine said:


> It's not impossible to find someone (non-pro and of legal age, of course) over the internet with whom to arrange a plain-'ol consensual hookup. Not that I necessarily advocate that, but it's probably preferable to seeing a hooker. I did manage it once when I was a single, a fact for which I am neither proud nor ashamed. To be fairly blunt: why pay when you can get it for free?


how attractive was this girl?


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## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

^I know the website. I put in my zipcode and there it is - real women (a few very attractive) in my area looking for sex, but this talk of STDs brings back memories of the video they showed us in 9th grade. Coral penis is incentive enough for me to shy away from this sort of promiscuity. It's not worth the risk - certainly not without medical insurace. not that I would take it anyway, but maybe someday when I'm a grown up. :um


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

People are afraid of sex, they believe it is dirty for whatever reasons, usually religious or moral. Especially sex as a service some people find it extremely offensive. Really the government is trying to regulate what consenting adults decide to do with their bodies. STDs aren't that common, condoms provide relative safe protection at around 95%. The bunny ranch in over 20 years of mandatory regular testing of their employees haven't had one documented case of HIV or AIDS.

People will judge you over it, which is a problem with SA of course. The use of the word pathetic and some of them have claimed they would never date a male or female who has paid for sex but as cliche as it is if you are really okay with it in your heart it really shouldn't matter. You do have a right to keep things private. (unless you have a STD of course and are seeing somebody)

I think you're just honest. Sex is a natural human need and a huge part of relationships. What is truly pathetic is that many men spend both time and money on women just for the chance of possibly having sex with them. Paying for dinner, buying flowers, taking her to the movies, giving them cash, etc. 

Then you have the poor suckers who are whipped.

Yes, much easier just to pay a lady to satisfy a need for you, no real effort required except for a cash deposit.


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## Ross (Apr 10, 2004)

LoveThySelf said:


> "How can it be so wrong if so many guys (locals and tourists) are doing it? "
> 
> That is the worst excuse for doing something ever. If you want to own up to being cool with exchanging money for sex then fine. But dont use the fact that its common in your country as a sheld against people that find it repulsive.
> 
> ...


Yes, yes you are, it sounds like you're quite repressed to be honest.



LoveThySelf said:


> but I find the idea of paying for sex pathetic. But if it works for you, do what you need to, and continue being careful.


Why say that? Why insult the people on here?


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

****Thread Lock Watch****
Guys, this is a discussion - please keep the attacks to the issue, not the people.


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## Nae (Nov 10, 2003)

Prodigal_Son said:


> People are afraid of sex, they believe it is dirty for whatever reasons, usually religious or moral. Especially sex as a service some people find it extremely offensive. Really the government is trying to regulate what consenting adults decide to do with their bodies. STDs aren't that common, condoms provide relative safe protection at around 95%. The bunny ranch in over 20 years of mandatory regular testing of their employees haven't had one documented case of HIV or AIDS.
> 
> People will judge you over it, which is a problem with SA of course. The use of the word pathetic and some of them have claimed they would never date a male or female who has paid for sex but as cliche as it is if you are really okay with it in your heart it really shouldn't matter. You do have a right to keep things private. (unless you have a STD of course and are seeing somebody)
> 
> ...


great post, pretty much covered everything i was thinking including legalized prostitution in the U.S.

sex is just an act, a physical act. it is intimacy which you cannot buy. :stu someone that understands your nuances etc.


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## Misanthropy (Aug 16, 2006)

I'm 21, and have never had sex. Never even come close.

I don't know too much about prostitution here in Australia, but I do know there is small brothel in my country city.

With that being said, personally I cannot ever see myself using the services of a prostitute. The grounds for this are not moral or religious, nor are they out of worry in relation to STIs and cleanliness issues (provided you use a reputable establishment).

The reason I can't foresee using these services is because I would find the whole process way too embarrassing. In fact, to me the whole idea of using a prostitute is exponentially more daunting than meeting a women through normal channels, and forging an emotionally and physically satisfying relationship that way. And let me tell you I'm so anxiety-ridden when it comes to the latter, being with a prostitute would be off the scale.

In relation to the topic of this thread, the above stance of mine might seem rather odd. To explain, my SAD (keyword being 'social') comes about because the whole process of being social with people makes me anxious. In light of this, one could argue that _you don't have to be social with a sex-worker at all_, because she is being paid for a service. This is certainly a legitimate counterpoint. Although logically I know this, visiting a prostitute still seems like a bad idea anxiety-wise to me.

Maybe I'm just love-shy (which is a whole other topic, and I won't open that can of worms here).

Of course, my sex-drive is pretty high and it's a huge problem sometimes. But my sex-drive will never trump my anxiety as far as I can tell, and will thus probably never force me to get off my arse and do something about it with a real woman. Because of this I rely pretty heavily on pornography and erotic literature, which I must admit I'm a little embarrassed to share here.

I suppose when it comes down to it, and despite my relatively progressive and open-minded views, I would personally rather have sex with someone who I know actually wants to be with me, even if said want is in the form of spur of the moment one-night-stand. I know that probably sounds a little old-fashioned and clichéd but its how I feel.

And this in no way means I look down on those who use these services! Maybe _I am_ being close-minded, but I can't see how people can object to prostitution these days. Obviously, there is demand for this service that needs to be filled, and provided it is done right through careful legislation, regulation and through the use of a good workplace health and safety act, in my opinion I think it's safe and can be respectful to women. Now I'm not naïve and I do think it's a real shame that prostitution still goes hand in hand with criminal and abusive behaviour. If it's done incorrectly _of course_ many women end up being mistreated and involved in drugs and all that crap, but that can be said for a lot of things. However, I do think we can work towards removing the stigma and negative associations if it's handled correctly.

Finally, I'd like to finish with a few questions. First, I'm very interested in how a person with SA can feel comfortable using these services? This is in no way a flame, I just find it fascinating! Second, and in light of my fifth paragraph, how would using a prostitute actually address your SA to a significant degree, especially when there's an obvious lack of the social component of courting a woman traditionally? I'm open to continuing the discussion in PMs if need be.

PS. I think we should be careful using emotionally-charged words such as "pathetic" and "repulsive", even if that's not necessarily your view of the topic. I would like this thread to stay open because it's an interesting topic.

PPS. Sorry for my text-heavy, hard to read posts. I need to work on my writing.


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## RX2000 (Jan 25, 2004)

Well it goes against my personal morals and I would never do something like that, but if someone else doesnt have a problem with it and wants to do it, more power to 'em. I dont think they should, but what other people do is their business...


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## Ross (Apr 10, 2004)

Misanthropy said:


> I'm 21, and have never had sex. Never even come close.
> 
> I don't know too much about prostitution here in Australia, but I do know there is small brothel in my country city.
> 
> ...


Nothing to be embarrassed about, it's understandable, I rely a lot on pornography too.



Misanthropy said:


> I suppose when it comes down to it, and despite my relatively progressive and open-minded views, I would personally rather have sex with someone who I know actually wants to be with me, even if said want is in the form of spur of the moment one-night-stand. I know that probably sounds a little old-fashioned and clichéd but its how I feel.
> 
> And this in no way means I look down on those who use these services! Maybe _I am_ being close-minded, but I can't see how people can object to prostitution these days. Obviously, there is demand for this service that needs to be filled, and provided it is done right through careful legislation, regulation and through the use of a good workplace health and safety act, in my opinion I think it's safe and can be respectful to women. Now I'm not naïve and I do think it's a real shame that prostitution still goes hand in hand with criminal and abusive behaviour. If it's done incorrectly _of course_ many women end up being mistreated and involved in drugs and all that crap, but that can be said for a lot of things. However, I do think we can work towards removing the stigma and negative associations if it's handled correctly.


Thank you, that's the most sensible thing I've heard in this thread for a while. 



Misanthropy said:


> Finally, I'd like to finish with a few questions. First, I'm very interested in how a person with SA can feel comfortable using these services? This is in no way a flame, I just find it fascinating! Second, and in light of my fifth paragraph, how would using a prostitute actually address your SA to a significant degree, especially when there's an obvious lack of the social component of courting a woman traditionally? I'm open to continuing the discussion in PMs if need be.


I think everyone with SA are scared of different things, for example I'm perfectly comfortable with going to job interviews, whereas most normal people feel very nervous about it. Someone I know with SA is okay with travelling the world, yet I wouldn't be able to travel even 200 miles.

Visiting a prostitute wouldn't lessen your SA, but I think it may lesson your nervousness with women, seeing as the fact that you've actually had sex with one, then just talking to one is pretty much nothing in comparison.



Misanthropy said:


> PS. I think we should be careful using emotionally-charged words such as "pathetic" and "repulsive", even if that's not necessarily your view of the topic. I would like this thread to stay open because it's an interesting topic.
> 
> PPS. Sorry for my text-heavy, hard to read posts. I need to work on my writing.


I agree, I can't stand it when people start preaching and talking down to other people as though they're superior, especially when they start bringing out insults like calling people pathetic.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

Just for the record, there are some places in the US where it is legal and regulated (basically Nevada outside of the major cities). And there are escorts and street-walkers in the US as well. The police sometimes catches them, but not often.

And paying for it would be better than having a one-night-stand with someone and then finding out she is pregnant. That is 18 years of paying 25% of your income for that one night (at least in the US, we have child support laws).

However, once you go down that road, I think it would be hard to have a normal relationship if you had to keep that secret from the other person. But then again, how many girls are not telling their guys about that crazy Spring Break week in Cancun when they were in college.


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## jms42 (May 15, 2006)

No way. You don't know anything about these ladies man they could have HIV,Hepatitis,Herpes all kinds of stuff that you would have to live with for the rest of your life. I wouldn't trust my life in the hands of a stranger and a condom that can break.
SA and STD clinic's are a terrible combo.


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## Ross (Apr 10, 2004)

I think you're over reacting, jms.


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## GraceLikeRain (Nov 9, 2003)

I guess I just do not understand sex without love. Not like anyone cares, just wanted to add that I guess...


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## odun (Nov 9, 2003)

how do prostitutes charge?

is it one flat fee?

does each 'service' cost extra?

can you get a value deal? or perhaps get a free oral session after paying for two hand jobs?


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

If you wanna, go for it. who cares what other people think

personally i wouldn't.
sex is much more to me than just sticking your googoogaga in her chichichacha. its heavily passionate/lustfull/stuff like that... if someone just had sex with you for money it wouldnt have that edge. u cant fake that.
when i have a g/f and she wants to have sex with me, i find it hot. if i knew someone didnt actually want to have sex with me but would anyway it would be a turn off. 
I don't necessarily need to be in love or emotionally attached to have sex, but I do have to have a sense of mutual attraction and willingness before going at it.

but of course, this is coming from a non virgin. if i was still a virgin at 20, 25, 30, my opinion might be different.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I don't think it is a repeat customer card, but I could be wrong. Assuming from what I have seen on television, it is either by the service on the street or by the hour in a facility.
(....yes, I am a naive virgin).


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

If you want to do it--do it. Just be smart about it and decide if it's really worth it for you. Whether or not this is a legitimate response to SA--I suppose I can understand what would lead someone with social phobia to getting a hooker. I don't believe it's necessary in most cases but I can see how an SA person would feel that it is. Perhaps there lies the problem..?


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## theysee (Nov 15, 2003)

i have nothing to add to this thread really, but it reminded me of this webcomic...










http://www.asofterworld.com


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

> But then again, how many girls are not telling their guys about that crazy Spring Break week in Cancun when they were in college.


Ah, good point. Very good point. Probably a lot more than would care to admit.


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

GraceLikeRain said:


> I guess I just do not understand sex without love.


Well, it feels good and (at least for most guys) you just _need_ it, wether you are in love or not. And before you mention masturbation, that's kinda like pocking in your ash tray for butts when you are out of sigarettes (i've actually seen this happen)...


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

It's unfortunate, but that's the way guys were physically made. That's where we have to have self-control.


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## Nae (Nov 10, 2003)

millenniumman75 said:


> It's unfortunate, but that's the way guys were physically made. That's where we have to have self-control.


sexual acts aren't wrong. :stu


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## Misanthropy (Aug 16, 2006)

Ross said:


> I think everyone with SA are scared of different things, for example I'm perfectly comfortable with going to job interviews, whereas most normal people feel very nervous about it. Someone I know with SA is okay with travelling the world, yet I wouldn't be able to travel even 200 miles.


That's true. I'm usually fine in most situations. To use your example, I would be a little nervous about a job interview, but I wouldn't have any SA in that instance. But put me in a room were I'm expected to be social with attractive women around and I'll fall to pieces.



Ross said:


> Visiting a prostitute wouldn't lessen your SA, but I think it may lesson your nervousness with women, seeing as the fact that you've actually had sex with one, then just talking to one is pretty much nothing in comparison.


I see the logic in that, but it wouldn't apply to me I'm afraid. I'm thinking drops in the sea here.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Nae said:


> millenniumman75 said:
> 
> 
> > It's unfortunate, but that's the way guys were physically made. That's where we have to have self-control.
> ...


No, they aren't wrong - but we can't do it every time we want.
We have to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run. :lol


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

millenniumman75 said:


> Nae said:
> 
> 
> > millenniumman75 said:
> ...


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

millenniumman75 said:


> but we can't do it every time we want.


What about those of us who can't do it _at all_? :fall


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## Joeb (Aug 6, 2005)

dez said:


> If you want to do it--do it. Just be smart about it and decide if it's really worth it for you. Whether or not this is a legitimate response to SA--I suppose I can understand what would lead someone with social phobia to getting a hooker. I don't believe it's necessary in most cases but I can see how an SA person would feel that it is. Perhaps there lies the problem..?


Yes, because I desire intimacy and physical satisfaction but am too scared to go talk to people. I'd rather drive people away than become friends with them for any length of time. Not to mention I lot of people just think I'm weird.

At least, with a hooker I can get physical satisfaction, and I know there is no chance that she will reject me because she thinks I am too ugly or strange. I think that is what I really like. I wish I could get that sense of safety when I am around other people, but I am always nervous and watching people. I have to keep track of where everyone is and watch each comment to see if it is a veiled insult. It drives me insane, and makes me quite angry sometimes, even over small things (real or perceived insults or attacks). It makes going to a club a relief. I guess that is why I do it.

Someone else asks how much it costs. I"m not sure if that was serious or not but, here it can costs from $65 to $300 for an hour. Just depends on where you go. The more expensive places are in the touristy areas and require an entrance fee and a drink (which costs like $25!). They tend to have prettier girls, but this is not always the case.

As for STD's (or STI's), I know the symptoms and I know some can be asymptomatic. I feel I am as prepared as I can be. Sure there is risk. There's always risk in having sex, which is why I use condoms.


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## shelly (Jul 29, 2006)

Guys fascination with hookers seems more about control than sexual release to me. Being able to get a woman to do what ever you want, whenever you want just by throwing some money on the floor isn't about intimacy or physical desire or even physical need.

Pretending that women go into this profession willingly just "to make a lot of money" is silly. Women become prostitutes because of addiction, fear, physical coercion and abject poverty. Participation in the degradation of these women is morally wrong, regardless of your religious beliefs or lack there of. It is morally wrong because you are using human beings for your own pleasure without regard to their wellbeing. In other words, "the ends don't justify the means".

I would never want to be with a man who had such lack or respect for himself or others.


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## Joeb (Aug 6, 2005)

shelly said:


> Guys fascination with hookers seems more about control than sexual release to me. Being able to get a woman to do what ever you want, whenever you want just by throwing some money on the floor isn't about intimacy or physical desire or even physical need.
> 
> Pretending that women go into this profession willingly just "to make a lot of money" is silly. Women become prostitutes because of addiction, fear, physical coercion and abject poverty. Participation in the degradation of these women is morally wrong, regardless of your religious beliefs or lack there of. It is morally wrong because you are using human beings for your own pleasure without regard to their wellbeing. In other words, "the ends don't justify the means".
> 
> I would never want to be with a man who had such lack or respect for himself or others.


You have a right to your own opinion. Clearly, I don't share the same morals as you if I am ok with it and you think it is morally wrong regardless of religious beliefs. And it is clear to me that you are making a lot of assumptions about me and the profession in general.

Sure, all these women are drug-addicted or sexually-abused slaves. I'm a cruel ******* and I don't care about these girls at all. Not even a little. Does that fit your black and white view of the world?


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## Ross (Apr 10, 2004)

shelly said:


> Guys fascination with hookers seems more about control than sexual release to me. Being able to get a woman to do what ever you want, whenever you want just by throwing some money on the floor isn't about intimacy or physical desire or even physical need.


Well, you don't know how untrue that is, but, if that's what it seems like to you that's what it seems like to you.



shelly said:


> Pretending that women go into this profession willingly just "to make a lot of money" is silly. Women become prostitutes because of addiction, fear, physical coercion and abject poverty. Participation in the degradation of these women is morally wrong, regardless of your religious beliefs or lack there of. It is morally wrong because you are using human beings for your own pleasure without regard to their wellbeing. In other words, "the ends don't justify the means".
> 
> I would never want to be with a man who had such lack or respect for himself or others.


Oh please. So, you're telling me women are helpless creatures who aren't capable of thinking for themselves?

And just because a man visits an escort doesn't mean he doesn't respect himself.

Give me a break.


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## redkit (Mar 14, 2006)

I had been virgin till I was 26. Then I visited a prostitute and lost my viginity. I visited many prostitutes between the years 1989 and 1992. Then I preferred masturbation. When I was 31, I found my first sexual partner which was not a prostitute. She was 15 years older than me. This was not a love relationship. During the years 1994 and 1995 I had sex with her many times.
In 2003,at the age of 40, by the help of internet communication, I achieved the first true love relationship of my life. She was a woman with SA. I married her. Our sexual life was OK, but she was too jealous of me.
In 2004, we divorced.
Then, I resigned from sex and began to consider the case of castration.
In my opinion, sex is useless and waste of energy.


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## lucysnowe (Apr 19, 2006)

I don't have any respect for people who go to prostitutes, but if you want to that's your business.

But I think it's a cop-out to use SA as an excuse. It's not like the majority of "normal" men are able to have sex when and how they want. Life (and that includes sex and relationships) takes work - that's the way it is whoever you are. It might be more difficult with SA, but it's something you have to deal with.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

I think the majority of men who don't have SA or some other socially debilitating disorder are married or in relationships where sex is a part. 

As far as concerns for how freely a woman chooses to be a prostitute, I really don't know if those of us who can't imagine selling our bodies (like I get offers, but you know what I mean) can objectively assess someoene's motives who does.


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## Ross (Apr 10, 2004)

lucysnowe said:


> I don't have any respect for people who go to prostitutes, but if you want to that's your business.
> 
> But I think it's a cop-out to use SA as an excuse. It's not like the majority of "normal" men are able to have sex when and how they want. Life (and that includes sex and relationships) takes work - that's the way it is whoever you are. It might be more difficult with SA, but it's something you have to deal with.


I don't have any respect for people who have the same attitude as you.

Seriously, why judge? What you're doing is no different from saying you don't like someone or don't respect someone because they enjoy watching a lot of Sponge Bob Square Pants. It's incredibly shallow.

Your attitude is no different than a typical jock or a cheerleader.


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## Restless Mind (Jul 19, 2006)

We all need physical intimacy sometime or another, right? How you get it, I don't really care (as long is it's not coerced). Therefore, I don't have anything against people who seek prostitutes.


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## Ross (Apr 10, 2004)

I'd just like to add that seeing an escort isn't just about getting off, well, not with me anyway.


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## shelly (Jul 29, 2006)

Joeb said:


> it is clear to me that you are making a lot of assumptions about me and the profession in general.


I am not making any assumptions about you since I don't know you. I am stating my opinion which is what we do on these boards. Also, I do not consider prostitution a profession. It is a desperate act of desperate people.

Using people for your own pleasure, who by your own admission can't say no, is morally wrong. Just because you have an orgasm while doing it, doesn't make it morally ambiguous.



Joeb said:


> And I would never tell a potential wife or mate that I did it. They don't need to know everything about me.


Lying and exposing a mate to a life altering or life taking disease isn't morally ambiguous either.



Ross said:


> Oh please. So, you're telling me women are helpless creatures who aren't capable of thinking for themselves?


Just the opposite. I am telling you that these women are desperate and the only way than can help themselves is to become prostitutes.



Ross said:


> I don't have any respect for people who have the same attitude as you.
> 
> Seriously, why judge? What you're doing is no different from saying you don't like someone or don't respect someone because they enjoy watching a lot of Sponge Bob Square Pants. It's incredibly shallow.
> 
> Your attitude is no different than a typical jock or a cheerleader.


That's just silly


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