# Does your therapist ask you this?



## Eski (Aug 6, 2011)

"So what do you want to do now?"

Isn't that abit of an odd question? shes asked me it 3 times now in the 5 or so sessions we've had and each time i've left wondering why she asked me the question. Like i mean im going there for a reason, we both know why i'm there but shes asking "what do you want to do now?" its almost suggestive?, like we should start doing something . . . lol, i swear next time she asks me i'm just going to stare at her and say "whatever you want".

Or maybe I'm reading into it wrong?, maybe she honestly doesn't know what to talk about...


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## Voyager (Jan 15, 2012)

Have you told her what you hope to achieve through therapy? Have you talked about your goals in life? Seems like she honestly doesn't know what you want...


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## Eski (Aug 6, 2011)

Yeah, i've told her a couple of times now on where i want to be, where i want to go and that, but she hasn't really asked the question "what do you want to do now" in the context of what do I want to do with my self, its always been a sort of "what are we going to talk about now" sort of context, does that make sense?.

But those 2 questions are very different and her question is leaving me sort of baffled when i leave.


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

Why are you seeing her?


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## Eski (Aug 6, 2011)

I dont really know. . . i need help and shes sort of helping me.


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

Help with what?


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## Eski (Aug 6, 2011)

Me, people, life.


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

You should have an aim in treatment, a point to reach otherwise you will not get much out of it. If it is confidence building, you need to tell her that - she cannot real your mind, she may know a lot about you and your difficulties but how do you want to deal with them. If you don't know say that and ask her for suggestions.

What do you do in your sessions?


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## Michael127 (Dec 10, 2011)

You might need to seek out a male counsellour. I think that males and females have different issues in relation to SA and a male counsellour might more readily understand those issues.

I started with a female counsellour, but I would just go in circles with her. I am with a male counsellour now and progress is slow. At least it is progress though.


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## Eski (Aug 6, 2011)

We sit down and we talk about things i'm going to do over the week, she'll give me tasks ect to do and reflect on how i feel while doing them ( if i feel anxious, what thoughts were going through my head at the time ) but thats about it.


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

Do you want to keep doing that....


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## Eski (Aug 6, 2011)

Michael127 said:


> You might need to seek out a male counsellour. I think that males and females have different issues in relation to SA and a male counsellour might more readily understand those issues.
> 
> I started with a female counsellour, but I would just go in circles with her. I am with a male counsellour now and progress is slow. At least it is progress though.


The thing is, i am making progress and shes sort of guiding me, so i dont feel the need to see anyone else. And to be honest i dont want to do that, its just going to lead down a road of looking for the right person and that could take years, years i dont have.

Shes going to fix me and she can. Thats the mindset i'm going with because i haven't got time to see countless therapists. I need to get on with life and fast.

But i understand what you're saying with "issues", she tried to tell me that sitting down and having a good cry might help, lol no.


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## Eski (Aug 6, 2011)

Janniffy said:


> Do you want to keep doing that....


What do you mean?.


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

Eski said:


> What do you mean?.


talking about the things you did during the week, setting tasks and reflecting on them - are you happy to keep doing just that?


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## Eski (Aug 6, 2011)

What else is there?.


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## kooshi (Jan 10, 2011)

I personally think that she either does not know what you want (like said above). Maybe you don't clearly state it to her and it makes her confused? Or either she is a bad therapist who does not know how to properly provide therapy. Perhaps she doesn't really know enough about the disorder and is confused on how to treat it? It's like your the one who is supposed to guide her and tell her what to discuss with about with you, which is obviously not right. One time I went to a therapist and they literally just stared at me and said nothing. I explained my whole life story and I got a couple of stupid comments and the long stare. Most ackward thing ever, and made me feel even more misunderstood. Maybe seeing a psychologist would do you some better. I go to one and it is waaaay better since they at least understand.


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## kooshi (Jan 10, 2011)

Talk with her about what has been going on for you. The things that you want to improve on, your frusterations (it feels awesome to let everything out!) what you see yourself as truly being, your future, your goals, and etc. That's what I usually blab about to my psychologist.


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## kpx0 (Mar 12, 2012)

Michael127 said:


> You might need to seek out a male counsellour. I think that males and females have different issues in relation to SA and a male counsellour might more readily understand those issues.
> 
> I started with a female counsellour, but I would just go in circles with her. I am with a male counsellour now and progress is slow. At least it is progress though.


Yes, I believe very strongly that people are best treated with a therapist of their own sex. Men and women are different and think differently. It seems that with certain things there are a mutual esoteric understanding between two men, and equivalently between two women, that could be difficult for a person of the opposite sex to reach without much explanation.


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## JenN2791 (Aug 21, 2011)

Whenever my psychologist asks me that, I just simply tell them I want to improve on x, y, and z. I used to think this was an odd question as well. I still don't know how to answer it besides just simply stating what I want to exactly improve on.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

Therapists are creepy people. They ask all kinds of odd questions.


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## Eski (Aug 6, 2011)

kooshi said:


> I personally think that she either does not know what you want (like said above). Maybe you don't clearly state it to her and it makes her confused? Or either she is a bad therapist who does not know how to properly provide therapy. Perhaps she doesn't really know enough about the disorder and is confused on how to treat it? It's like your the one who is supposed to guide her and tell her what to discuss with about with you, which is obviously not right. One time I went to a therapist and they literally just stared at me and said nothing. I explained my whole life story and I got a couple of stupid comments and the long stare. Most ackward thing ever, and made me feel even more misunderstood. Maybe seeing a psychologist would do you some better. I go to one and it is waaaay better since they at least understand.


It could be abit of everything of that, shes still in training so i'm not going to say shes just a bad therapist but i have noticed in the last few sessions that I have been leading the subject, is that wrong?. And we have had that awkward long stare a couple of times now.

We having digged in to my life story, she hasn't asked anything about my passed tbh, shes just asked what i'm having problems with then trying to work out how we can treat them but thats about it.... hmm

Maybe i should ask her next session if i need to be more open? and if she needs more info about me? i dunno.


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## ellipsis (Apr 3, 2012)

Eski said:


> "So what do you want to do now?"


I'm at that point now .. setting goals. Seems like the right thing to do but it's a much harder exercise than I thought it would be. The avoidance instinct kicks in big time.. If I declare a goal, then I'll have to try to do it... holyhell


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## Midnight Laces (May 5, 2012)

My psych doctor actually asked me the same question, after trying to figure out if I should keep taking Prozac.

I really wanted to tell him, "Well, you're the ****ing doctor!"


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