# My "friends" treat me differently



## Discouraged1234 (Apr 14, 2014)

First, ill just note that for the past year i have really questioned whether these people i call my friends are really my friends. Some background: I moved in with 3 other guys approximately 2 years ago, all of which i knew in college (graduated about 7 years ago). In college, and probably my whole life, i've felt boring, uninteresting, and to be blatantly honest the idiot of the group. They are quick-witted and i feel like i was an easy target for them to tease or make fun of. But for some reason i feel like i got past that after college with these couple of guys while we weren't living with each other. But then the same behaviors started again once we moved in with each other...

Theres such a difference in the way they talk to other people and how they talk to me. Theres a sense of respect there with other people or their other friends that isn't there when they talk to me. I just get this overwhelming sense they belittle me. I'm treated like I'm a fool, they make jokes about me regularly that would imply I have an STD literally, they make jokes suggesting I'm gay, and they mock my profession. I have a doctorate in physical therapy and more education that all of them, i don't have an STD, I'm not a homosexual, and i take my profession very seriously. I don't understand why they make these jokes. I've told them that i don't like it. I really hope they don't bring those jokes up in public, but if they are able to say it to my face like that, i don't know what they are saying to everyone else behind my back. I feel like i can't trust them. I don't understand these jokes, i don't think they are funny in the least, they just seem so inappropriate and immature. They say "its a joke!" to some of the things they say, but i don't see them behaving this way with other people, which really makes take it personally. 

I admit, i've done things when I've been drunk that they can make fun of me for, but i feel like they have done things as well that are just as bad if not worse. So much of this treatment by them is unprovoked. For instance, i came home from work today, greeted them happily and thought we shared a few mutual laughs, and then one of them makes a joke about how big of a meal I'm eating because i have AIDS (i don't have AIDS or any STD). And after i hear that i just want to leave the room and get away from them. These kind of jokes happen ALL OF THE TIME. I just don't know how to defend myself anymore. I try to laugh it off, try to ignore it, try to tell them not to make those jokes, try to get angry....nothing changes anything.

Sometimes i think back and regret some of the decisions that I've made and some of my actions, i just don't believe that that holds great enough weight for the treatment that they've given me. I feel like I'm a genuine person, a loyal person, and someone who will respect others. I try to think about what I'm doing wrong to receive this treatment, but its hard for me to put so much blame on myself sometimes. 

I don't know whether I'm being too sensitive to things or if they are being malicious. In some weird way I'm fearing the future and whether they will be in my life or not. If they end up not being in my life, oddly enough that would make me depressed because i would feel like all these years they never did like me all that much and then that would just reaffirm all my insecurities. I don't have many close friends, and these are the closest group of guys that i could possible have as close friends. Im just ****ing exhausted, and lonely. 

I dont know what to do or think


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## xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (Nov 10, 2014)

Well chances are if you've been living with them for a couple years and they have known you for years before that, they consider you a friend and aren't trying to make you feel like crap. I know that when I first met my boyfriend and and started hanging out with him and his friends I thought wow these guys are asses! And my boyfriend was and *** to them! Everybody made jokes and gave eachother crap all the time. You said they're pretty quick witted, maybe they're just incredibly sarcastic. I think some groups of guys are just like that and they're brutally honest with one another and give eachother crap all the time. I wouldn't take it too personally and this might sound weird but don't be afraid to give them crap in return and joke around with them. It might even cause them to show you a little more respect. But, of course if you don't feel comfortable doing that and that's not who you are, then I would suggest trying to find a new group of friends who aren't like that. Clearly I don't know all the details about it either, but that's what it sounds like to me..If you think that they are genuinely mean guys though and don't respect you, find a new group. You don't have to put up with that. And if its to the point where you don't even enjoy hanging around them thats no kind of friendship anyways.


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## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

I once had a best friend who used to make 'jokes' and put me down constantly infront of her other friends. She would belittle me and poke fun at me and use me, as well as be nice to me other times. It was very odd. 

Over a long period of time i realised id rather be sad and lonely than spend time with someone who makes me feel crap about my self. 

Best thing i ever did. I have GOOD friends now who help raise me up and love me.. 

Id say ditch ur friends/roomies and find some guy friends who arent d.ckeads


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## ShadowOnTheWall (Dec 24, 2010)

Call then out and talk to them about this


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