# Why do the hot guys date the ugly chicks?



## Jessie203

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## Draztek

Honestly, I've seen this thread re-written be switching "guys" and "chicks" around a bunch. It does confuse me why hot people settle for unattractive (personality wise and/or physically) people, but that's life I guess. Something I will never understand though.

I have a really funny one liner to throw in there based on your last sentence, but unfortunately I don't think the mods would let it slide.


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## Jessie203

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## mickeypierce

I think the following applies to a lot of guys and women, people are very flattered when someone shows an interest in you, I know many girls who have made it known they like some guy and everytime the guy has ended up dating the girl. But that also applies to guys showing an interest in a girl.

There are 2 women who I worked with, both were really really confident, both were average looking at best, they made a lot of effort with their appearance, but neither were that pretty. But both of these women were so confident, they would ask out guys they liked many times and everytime they guys would go out with them. I think confidence is key because if someone is more confident than you are and they show interest in you, it feels like someone more 'worthy' is interested in you. 

I don't believe most guys are shallow, I really don't. For sure some are, and of course everyone likes nice looks, but when it comes to dating someone I think looks only play a part in terms of as long as someone is not obese and a horror and they have a decent personality then I think a guy will be interested.

Lets face it guys love it when they know some woman is interested in them, it boosts their ego and feels good about themselves. If a woman shows an interest in a guy, 99% of the time the guy will only think positively of that girl for liking him.


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## StrangeSpirit

Not everyone want's the same thing. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


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## Jessie203

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## Solitario

kathy903 said:


> I always see hot guys as an LESSERattractive/unattractive girl's boyfriend.. yea yea personality etc. but really let's get a little more practical. There is an invisible "league" system and if you take care of your looks you deserve the same from someone else since it's just a natural turn on to be fit, have good hygiene, a certain shape.. whatever. So I think the "Oh she must be such a nice girl then" is a bunch of crock. There's a limit that makes a guy youre friend because you need some physical attraction. What the ugly girl's secret? Maybe they've learned to give good head..
> 
> WHAT DO --->YOU<--- THINK?


What world do you live in? I never see this. Dudes (including myself) are very superficial. It's how we're wired.


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## Draztek

kathy903 said:


> Lol I want to hear it!
> Do you have msn?


Oh, sorry I missed your post right after I posted mine.

Rephrased:

Why do almost all of the hot girls always settle for moderately attractive guys who are *******s 99% of the time? I don't understand how it works at all... I mean some of these girls could get just about any guy they want chasing them by doing as little as giving one suggestive look or sending a flirty text. Instead they put up with tons of **** and put it more work then anyone should have to, all to stay in a relationship with an ugly *******. I hear girls say that they are looking for a nice guy who will treat them right all the time, but I have a hard time believing this when I see ******* after ******* with mediocre/low looks getting with the hottest girls. How does this work? How can girls stand to be with these below average whose cup size sometimes matches theirs? There are certain girls who I'll only be friends with because they just aren't physically attractive to me. Can an inflated ego mask one's physical shortcomings and disguise their personality? That must be it.

After I wrote all this I realized you probably just wanted to hear the joke haha, pm coming. *doh*


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## CopadoMexicano

get real I have never seen such empirical data.


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## Futures

Solitario said:


> What world do you live in? I never see this. Dudes (including myself) are very superficial. It's how we're wired.


I can't say I've seen it very much either.

But for sake of staying topic... Another possible reason I have for this is perhaps people just get sick and tired of all the BS and drama that comes with dating someone who is like a 9 or 10. Based on my own observations, the more attractive a women is, the worse her personality is as well. It's like that every freakin time.


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## WineKitty

StrangeSpirit said:


> Not everyone want's the same thing. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


:ditto


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## pita

My boyfriend just has really weird taste I guess.


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## ANCIENT




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## Conquistador

Maybe all the hotties already have 3 kids and 2 ex-husbands? I dunno.


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## Mr.Anon

Because maybe they feel as though they have a chance & something might work? I mean, Im a guy & if a beautiful woman & some chubby chick (Not like HUGE) lined up, I'd pick the chubby girl, having a much better chance she'd care for me much more than this model looking girl. Not to mention they'd be much more nicer & more loyal than a girl thats use to "Playing around". Personally, I find nice looking girls to be instantly unattractive to me. I've made it a habbit & everytime I see one, I just look away, because Im not the one, & never will be the one to be the first to say "Hi" or try to use flirt gestures because I think I'd be wasting my time with a girl thats already taken. Thats another thing too, cute girls tell me they are already taken, so whats the point of asking them out, even If I DID gain the courage to ask (Though I never would gain the courage)


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## DaveM

Here's a saying that I want to throw out there. It may not necessarily be true, but generally there is sufficient support to make you wonder-

A guy dates a girl in proportion to her beauty, and his confidence.


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## Draztek

DaveM said:


> Here's a saying that I want to throw out there. It may not necessarily be true, but generally there is sufficient support to make you wonder-
> 
> A guy dates a girl in proportion to her beauty, and his confidence.


Ya, that's pretty much right.


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## Ohms

As a few people have said, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone has their tastes. Sure there are some who can be agreed upon as 'hot' by a majority of people, but there is always someone that can honestly say they are not attracted to that person. Also, you aren't even sexually attracted to women so its all just speculation really.


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## huh

Physical attraction only goes so far. There are lots of women I'm physically attracted to but that's pretty much where it ends. Of course, I should probably shutup now because I have yet to go on a date to begin with...haha.


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## nothing to fear

stfu - us less attractive people need some lovin' too.


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## Want2Bconfident

Unfortunately I am not a hot guy, but for myself of course I notice attractive women, but the women I've always found most attractive are women I have got on really well with and enjoy chatting with and have really nice personality. When I like someone like that their looks become really appealing too because you see them in a positive way and seem to notice everything nice about them.

There was a girl I worked with about 5 years ago, I had to work with her 2 mornings a week. I thought nothing of her in terms of finding her attractive when I first saw her. But we got on brilliantly, we chatted non stop every time we worked with each other, she was so nice, so clever, so much fun. I just loved working with her. Because I liked her loads as a person her looks grew on me so much, I started to find her so attractive. I once told my two friends how much I liked her and they both said she wasn't attractive whatsoever, but to me she was the most attractive woman around. Unfortunately she left before I could ever pluck up the courage to try and ask her out. But basically yeah looks turns heads and everyone likes looking at attractive looking people of the opposite sex, but I believe for so many people if they meet someone they really click with and get on brilliantly with, then I think they'll often be attracted to them, and as long as they look respectable and decent then they'll often find each other desirable. I know its not always true, I know many men and women would think that is just a friendship, but for a lot of people personality and clicking with someone is huge.


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## shyvr6

I notice a lot of people get jealous when they see the ugly guy with the hot girl, lol. I'm not going to hate on them though because if they did it then there is hope for all of us.


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## Prodigal Son

shyvr6 said:


> I notice a lot of people get jealous when they see the ugly guy with the hot girl, lol. I'm not going to hate on them though because if they did it then there is hope for all of us.


Yeah, part of me is jealous than another part of me is like...well, good for him lol.


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## Jessie203

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## DeeperUnderstanding

Maybe they see something that you don't.


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## Trigun472

Not everyone is a superficial *******. Some are, most are actually. I'm extremely shallow when it comes to just looking for a shorter more sexual relationship. When I found someone I really wanted to be with, looks were far less important. There were still standards and minimums, but her personality is much more important. Fortunately I find my girlfriend extremely cute, even if she thinks I'm physically or socially out of her league.

There may be an attraction cast system when judging a couple from the outside, but when you're trying to find a mate all that goes out the window and it's just about personal preference.


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## _AJ_

DaveM said:


> A guy dates a girl in proportion to her beauty, and his confidence.


 that seems to be the way it is


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## lonelysoul1980

This may make me sound like an *******, but whatever I am what I am. Time to be honest about that, lol.

I won't date a girl I consider "ugly" but there's a certain threshold of attractiveness that needs to be met.

And there's a lot of range above that threshold from "kinda cute" to "knockout". I've dated across the spectrum and based on that sample, I've observed a general trend:

- the kinda cute girls will put in the extra effort to have you like them.

- the knockouts will generally not and will expect you to put in that extra effort.

At this point in my life, I'm way too self-absorbed/distracted to put in the "extra effort" to be with a knockout but that also becomes a problem with the "kinda cutes" who I feel like I settle for because they're easier, because eventually they get tired of my laissez faire attitude towards the whole thing...

And this is fine until emotions become involved and i become attached, then the entire system falls apart lol...

Another issue is I'm realllllllllllllly picky/crazy, so even a girl I considered a knockout/kinda cute at first will upon closer analysis become not so cute/repulsive....it's not something I will share with the girl explicitly but it might be something they pick up on through my behavior (but I'm standoff-ish from jump so incredibly hard to read anyway)

For instance my most recent ex was a cute girl........not my type, but certainly attractive by general standards. Cute face, dusky, small, nimble body, lol....but she had some acne scarring on her face....

When I first met her, I was like maybe I can ignore that. But through the relationship, especially when we became more intimate, it's something I always thought about and felt so bad about, precisely because it seemed like such a silly thing that I couldn't get my head out of my *** over.

Dating is a such and weird terrible thing.


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## WineKitty

The next time we have the "Are people with SA nicer" type thread pop up, let's put this post a link to this thread, Okay? :lol :b


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## nothing to fear

Penny said:


> The next time we have the "Are people with SA nicer" type thread pop up, let's put this post a link to this thread, Okay? :lol :b


hahaha, good idea


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## lonelysoul1980

Lol...

yeah I know I'm not a nice person. I would like to be nice, but obviously I'm conflicted internally and that leads to a whole lot of insanity on my part.

Am I the only one?


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## Jessie203

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## WineKitty

:b means its a tongue-in-cheek statement... not to be taken seriously....


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## Cypress

Aside from the looks aren't everything argument, which I'm sure everybody already knows...

One possibility is that there may be a sense of security of dating somebody at or below your league. I think Lonely touched upon this, as I'm sure some guys like knowing that their girlfriend is really happy to be with them. If a guy is dating a girl out of his league (looks wise), I'm sure there's a chance he may worry about not living up to standards of the girl. If the guy knows or thinks she is dating him for his personality and not looks, maybe he feels pressured to continue whatever personality trait (or whatever) attracted her in the first place.

I'm sure there are the cases where a guy (or girl) just falls for somebody 'below them' looks-wise because there's something about them they like (common interests, personality, wealth/job security, etc).

I have never dated, so my post may be completely accurarate for all I know. But I would imagine there would be less pressure to perform (not sexually - but relationship wise) if the girl was comfortably in or below his range of looks.


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## J.T.

I speculate that this rare phenomenon is related to security issues. A guy will feel more safe and secure if he is with an average or below average looking girl. Attractive girls get lots of attention and every guy wants to date her. It is much harder to stay in a relationship with a beautiful girl because she will often feel tempted to leave due to the frequent offers from other guys. 

In general, to stay in a relationship with a gorgeous girl that every guy wants to date, a man must do nearly everything right. Since a gorgeous girl can date nearly any guy she chooses, she can leave at any moment and quickly find a new boyfriend. Unattractive girls usually don't have this option and, as a result, are more likely to be tolerant of a mans flaws, insecurities, limitations, and financial fluctuations.

I must admit that I rarely see attractive guys dating unattractive girls. What I usually see is the opposite: I see attractive girls dating unattractive guys.

These are general statements. In reality, people are much more complex and diverse.


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## Cypress

:lol J.T.

We must have been writing that one around the same time.


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## J.T.

Cypress said:


> Aside from the looks aren't everything argument, which I'm sure everybody already knows...
> 
> One possibility is that there may be a sense of security of dating somebody at or below your league. I think Lonely touched upon this, as I'm sure some guys like knowing that their girlfriend is really happy to be with them. If a guy is dating a girl out of his league (looks wise), I'm sure there's a chance he may worry about not living up to standards of the girl.


Looks like we were both having similar thoughts at the same time. I was typing my post while you were typing yours so I didn't read yours before posting mine. I guess great minds think alike .... lol. :lol


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## Taija

There's a difference between what majority of the people or media define attractive and what a person finds attractive. When you fall for someone, s/he becomes the most attractive person there is, no matter what other people might think.


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## SadRosesAreBeautiful

Penny said:


> The next time we have the "Are people with SA nicer" type thread pop up, let's put this post a link to this thread, Okay? :lol :b


lol


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## lonelysoul1980

Penny said:


> :b means its a tongue-in-cheek statement... not to be taken seriously....


lol, i understood. i am just saying i'm guilty as charged


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## wickedrockerchick

nothing to fear said:


> stfu - us less attractive people need some lovin' too.


Amen to that.


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## Jessie203

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## Jessie203

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## Jessie203

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## eagleheart

They do? As the ugliest girl I know of, I consider myself exceptionally lucky in love now (in reference to quality not quantity). But in general "WTF?!?! On what planet?!" would be the reaction to the title of this thread. There has never been a line-up for "ugly chicks", rather it's the "babes" who get the attention.

"Hot guys" (or ANY guys for that matter; btw I personally have never taken interest in the prevailing view of male attractiveness) going for "ugly chicks" ... this has got to be a parallel universe.


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## Rasputin_1

kathy903 said:


> I always see hot guys as an LESSERattractive/unattractive girl's boyfriend.. yea yea personality etc. but really let's get a little more practical. There is an invisible "league" system and if you take care of your looks you deserve the same from someone else since it's just a natural turn on to be fit, have good hygiene, a certain shape.. whatever. So I think the "Oh she must be such a nice girl then" is a bunch of crock. There's a limit that makes a guy youre friend because you need some physical attraction. What the ugly girl's secret? Maybe they've learned to give good head..
> 
> WHAT DO --->YOU<--- THINK?


The three girlfriends ive had were all much better looking then me. But I never let them know that I knew it lol.


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## bucknut12

Great quote Dave...I completely agree. There are tons of girls that were "lower than me" (as someone shallow would say) that I found extremely attractive because I don't go out finding the hottest of the hott. In my mind a girl just has to be a decent looking I guess. As long as she is, and as well is interesting, fun to talk to, good minded, and we simply "click"...I would think they are worth asking out on a date! To me looks only get you so far in my book...because it comes down to a sensed connection.


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## kev

Maybe "hot" guys are happier and have more self-confidence so they don't feel the need to carry around a "hot" girl?


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## Cerberus

listenjusting said:


> i think you're a little too hard on yourself. I'm sure that the guy you're dating isn't just with you for your personality or your head-giving techniques, i'm sure he also finds you physically attractive. :yes :hug


lmfao


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## UltraShy

huh said:


> Physical attraction only goes so far. There are lots of women I'm physically attracted to but that's pretty much where it ends.


I agree there has to be more than physical attraction. Long ago I knew this woman who was a total b****. Often times I just wanted to strangle her. Looks don't really matter when you're around someone that you can't stand.


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## lexapr0

Look, I'm a pretty girl but I'm overweight. I've always had problems with my weight, it's just something I've never been able to get a hold of. I have a tall, handsome, intelligent boyfriend. The looks we get in public are priceless; the sight of a short, fat girl with the arm of a tall, handsome guy around her... And girls actually come up and hit on him in front of me! When he says I'm his girlfriend, they look shocked and say they assumed I was only his sister or something along those lines. I have no idea why he doesn't date someone who is of his physical caliber. He's dated models, these absolutely gorgeous women who I would kill to look like, yet he tells me how beautiful I am to him, and that he wouldn't have me any other way. My advice to you would be 1) ask a good looking man dating an "ugly" chick why he does so, instead of dating a woman who is just as equally attractive. And 2) it sounds a bit as if you honestly think looks are all that matter, and they're not. Yes, some physical attraction must be there, but I'll tell you something... I have dated some of the most unattractive people in the world, but they turned into the most beautiful people once I saw their personality. It makes or breaks someone, it truly does.


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## dyssomnia

i don't know, the girls i'm attracted to are usually pretty cute. which is why i'm attracted to them in the first place. my problem is after a while i'll start to notice nothing but flaws regardless of how attractive they are. i need to work on that because i know i for sure have flaws too and i should consider myself lucky to have any sort of girlfriend at all. i've been single for too long and i think by now i may have forgotten how to be a boyfriend haha............ :cry


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## pariahgirl

I find it weird that some people have this need to devalue women based soley on their looks. Looks are important, but its not what attraction is all about.


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## Rasputin_1

pariahgirl said:


> I find it weird that some people have this need to devalue women based soley on their looks. Looks are important, but its not what attraction is all about.


initially it kinda is though.


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## dyssomnia

Rasputin_1 said:


> initially it kinda is though.


nail
head 
on the
hitting
the


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## Kush

less attractive=lower self confidence=less chance of getting rejected


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## eagleheart

pariahgirl said:


> I find it weird that some people have this need to devalue women based soley on their looks.


YOu're right. But I think there's no sense talking to men about that


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## andy0128

A lot of beautiful woman are hard to get and expect more from you than less attractive ones. That they are always being pursued by other men is undesirable as well.


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## Prodigal Son

True, I don't like hard to get and high expectations.


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## SAgirl

I think that hot guys always date the hot girls. That's what I see around my community, anyways. 

Maybe, the not so beautiful girls that your talking about are kind, gentle, and loving. Maybe, that's why they date them. Internally, they are probably beautiful!


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## CopadoMexicano

I have yet to see a "hot" guy with a fat or ugly chick and if I do I think it'll be the norm.


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## nubly

ANCIENT said:


> Same here.


i dont think your boyfriend has weird taste papi :X


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## anomalous

I'm a guy, so I have no reason to be bitter or biased or anything like that, and my observation is that good-looking guys rarely (if ever) go for physically unattractive girls. The opposite seems to happen quite a bit more often.


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## caithiggs

Not sure if this has been said before, but define "ugly". Because last time I checked not everybody saw through the same eyes. My first reaction to this post is that it was shallow. And I was surprised to see nobody point that out. When you say ugly do you mean not model thin makeupafied dressed like everyone else females who have long flat ironed hair? I'm sorry, I just don't feel very civil toward the original post right now.


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## BeNice

I have liked girls that most people would never have expected me to. I had a crush on this girl who made art out of found objects. She is around five years older than me. I thought she was really cool but never even realized that I was into her. I imagine most guys would think she is a lesbian but she wasn't at all. I loved her personality, the fact that she wasn't like all of the other artsy people, was really easy going and seemed to notice my awkwardness but was kind of humorous about it, and I was also physically attracted to her. I could see myself getting along with her very well in the long term. Too bad I probably won't see her again for a long time, maybe ever.


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## Jessie203

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## Rasputin_1

kathy903 said:


> Why people gotta post u gotta definie ugly.. beauty is one the inside etc.. bla bla bla.. obv thats fine and all but there is an ugly for YOU. what i think is ugly is prob what the average public thinks. im just a B.S. free kinda person. brutally honest


People have called me ugly before and I have never dated a girl who is even close to being ugly(I have pictures lol). Maybe its just the kind of guys girls are attacted to, I usually meet girls when im drinking and therefor confident. And once I develope a drunk repor im not intimidated by them anymore.


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## Prodigal Son

To be honest, I see a lot of ugly well...below-average looking dudes with really cute girls all the time. I know this is kind of the opposite of the topic title, I am always damn, what does he have that I do not have? It is mainly just insecurities, maybe I'm being too hard or judgmental on some of the guys landing some very nice looking girls. I think that is mainly it or they see something that I obviously do not.


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## Iced Soul

Hm, I hardly ever see this.
I did, however, see a really ugly, to me, looking girl with the hottest guy yesterday. Didn't really bother me, though. I mean, you like who you like. Nothing to do with me. I just wish some cute guys would come lavish some love on me, well, before I get all anxious and run away, that is.

But guys, and girls, like who they like. Not everyone has the exact same standards of beauty. Some guys/girls like fat, skinny, average, some like light skin, dark skin, whatever. I wouldn't get upset or even be curious about it.


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## Canadian Brotha

My first thought is that there can be a lot of beauty in what is generally deemed to be ugly. Sometimes things that are ugly are hypnotic & that hypnosis can become a genuine attraction. 

I also think it depends on the mentality of the guy, is he looking to get laid? or is he looking for something long lasting? He might see a better chance at the latter with a less attractive person by societal standards.


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## Strategist

caithiggs said:


> Not sure if this has been said before, but define "ugly". Because last time I checked not everybody saw through the same eyes. My first reaction to this post is that it was shallow. And I was surprised to see nobody point that out. When you say ugly do you mean not model thin makeupafied dressed like everyone else females who have long flat ironed hair? I'm sorry, I just don't feel very civil toward the original post right now.


:ditto

I would prefer it if people didn't even have bodies. Maybe that sounds weird but... why should one person be lovable and another not? Just goes to show what animals we are just looking for the best mate to reproduce with. The body can go wrong in so many ways. You could get in a car crash, have to go through chemo, get mugged walking home, get any number of skin conditions....or you might just age poorly. There are many ways the body can become disfigured and they aren't even that rare. That said, there is a lot more to a person's physical appearance than just their body. The way people move, act, smell, dress can play into appearance too.

Instead of being angry/annoyed that people aren't fitting into your shallow caste system of looks, why not feel happy that 2 compatible (hopefully) people had the guts to date in the first place. Because maybe your looks will disappear too. Or your significant other's will. And then what?


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## CopadoMexicano

maybe their is a outside package but on the inside their are character defects, personality issues, self esteem issues, etc.


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## Roberto

Maybe all of the super hot girls feel like they are so good- too good- that they only end up with the person who gets them pregnant by accident. beauty slips away. the party is over. vanity of vanities, all is vanity.


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## CopadoMexicano

maybe


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## Skaterkid831

hmm ive actually been told this before..people couldn't understand why i chose to be with someone who was "lesser" than i was...maybe its because they trie harder?to get at the guy??because i kno my x did she came on to me so it saved me a lot of trouble since im sorta the shy type. S.A has to deal with that..but im working on that
funny thing is later i found out she was known for giving good bjs lol i dint stick around to long to find out.


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## Fairyxo

People can be beautiful on the inside too; a lot of girls people would class as attractive don't try and aren't as bothered because they feel they can get anyone, so girls that aren't as high rated put in more effort because they want the relationship to work.

When she gets old, the beauty on the outside will fade, and then what have you got left?


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## knightbird123

Guys will take whatever comes their way. IMO guys cannot choose what girl they want, the girl does all the choosing. 

Ugly girls must be picking handsome guys while Hot girls are picking ugly guys. This might be happening because the girl is wanting what she lacks.


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## CopadoMexicano

could be many reasons but some guys not so hot like average looking or below average can do well with hb6-8's if the guy has good game and confidence than a 9-10 above average looking guy with no or little game and confidence.


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## Brightpaperwarewolf

I am a hot guy and and I'd have no qualms about dating an ugly chick if her personality is rocking. Looks aren't that important, I can take any ugly person and make them look like the hottest person in the world if they chose to work at it. It's harder to change what is in your heart.


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## Halfie

"Lesser" is definitely the wrong word to describe people who happen to be less attractive. "Lesser" is a condemnation of the person as a whole, don't use it unless you want us all to think you're a shallow a--hole.


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## indieblueuro2

Just try not to focus so much on the looks and partake more into the personality aspect, because anyone can become attractive if they work hard enough at it, but personality and actually being a genuine person is hard to come by... its kinda why divorces are so high now, because those catches are so hard to find... makes it kinda discouraging because back in the day people just weren't this superficial or promiscuous, it's like you never know who has what, or what has who... I got to admit that when I was up at school, while the area was really small townie and rural, the people there were so friendly and down to earth, I think it has to do a lot with them not being corrupted by the urban facade of living under this trance that MTV or the fashion industry of Hollywood or New York has on people in the bigger cities, maybe its a sign that I should move out to Smallville, Kansas and find my Lana Lang.... still, whatever happens, will happen eventually just stay safe and use protection, because everything's a lot different now, and its not like it once was anymore :afr



kathy903 said:


> I always see hot guys as an LESSER attractive/unattractive girl's boyfriend.. yea yea personality etc. but really let's get a little more practical. There is an invisible "league" system and if you take care of your looks you deserve the same from someone else since it's just a natural turn on to be fit, have good hygiene, a certain shape.. whatever. So I think the "Oh she must be such a nice girl then" is a bunch of crock. There's a limit that makes a guy youre friend because you need some physical attraction. What the ugly girl's secret? Maybe they've learned to give good head..
> 
> WHAT DO --->YOU<--- THINK?


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## SloopjohnB

kathy903 said:


> I always see hot guys as an LESSERattractive/unattractive girl's boyfriend.. yea yea personality etc. but really let's get a little more practical. There is an invisible "league" system and if you take care of your looks you deserve the same from someone else since it's just a natural turn on to be fit, have good hygiene, a certain shape.. whatever. So I think the "Oh she must be such a nice girl then" is a bunch of crock. There's a limit that makes a guy youre friend because you need some physical attraction. What the ugly girl's secret? Maybe they've learned to give good head..
> 
> WHAT DO --->YOU<--- THINK?


by that statement only the good looking people should be dating. That bothers me because I don't think love is discriminating when it comes to the clothes you wear, the type of shape your in or any type of superficial remark that TV and the movies spews out like vomit.

Having a shallow view on love and dating is gonna make you unlucky with finding someone and keeping him.


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## Drella

We put out.

No, no.... in all seriousness, we do. We totally do.


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## CopadoMexicano

SloopjohnB said:


> by that statement only the good looking people should be dating. That bothers me because I don't think love is discriminating when it comes to the clothes you wear


Apperance and looks are different. Apperance has to do more with style a person wears and looks is just a physical feature.


----------



## SloopjohnB

MavenMI6Agent009 said:


> Apperance and looks are different. Apperance has to do more with style a person wears and looks is just a physical feature.


True but with how this thread plays up the superficial arguments, clothing is only another added element to it.


----------



## justpassinby

I didn't read all the posts I admit, but maybe attractive guys choose less attractive girls so he feels safe she will be faithful?


----------



## Atticus

I like how well considered threads get 2-3 reponses, and this gem goes on for 5 pages. So I'll hypocritically join in.

To the OP, in your spirit of brutal honesty, any chance you were:

1. Interested in a guy who chose someone else
2. This pissed you off
3. In your pissed off state, you determined that the other girl was ugly

????


----------



## pita

Drella said:


> We put out.
> 
> No, no.... in all seriousness, we do. We totally do.


Indeed!


----------



## Non

maybe because some of those "hot" guys don't get anything else?


----------



## CopadoMexicano

Hot guys just waste their looks they just need game, money, confidence, and personality and they will be a powerhouse.


----------



## Non

yea they just need to be perfect.

Do you know what it is for a woman to say she wants A GREAT CHARACTER, CONFIDENCE, PERSONALITY, ETC.?

That's like asking for perfection too ya know, only on the inside perfection!

No one is going to be perfect, inside or out, or both.

I mean.. come on women, look for true values in a person. Perfection is not going to come, not in this world. Don't go for just any guy, but rather look for someone with true values, who is good on the inside even if his "appearance" looks rather faulty, and he tries his best.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

Non said:


> look for someone with true values, who is good on the inside even if his "appearance" looks rather faulty, and he tries.


In my observation I have seen some U-Men with good looking girls because they make them feel good.


----------



## Karah876

Well as an "ugly" girl with no awesome physical beauty at all going for me, I can safely say no "hot" guy has ever dated me. But I suppose it is nice to know if the opportunity ever comes, it's just because he lacks confidence or feels sorry for me, or I'm just second best because he can't do better 
And no that wasn't sarcasm, or pity party, just the truth that I've accepted a long time ago


----------



## _AJ_

is this thread still going?? haha


kathy, you will forever be known for starting controversy


I shall call you "Kathy, bringer of war!!"


----------



## eagleheart

The people who say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" till the cows come home are, I would wager, NOT ugly girls. Beauty is on the inside blah blah... ugly girls know better.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

I thought similar attractiveness go hand in hand?


----------



## mbp86

Jealous much OP?


----------



## BestLifeEver

Hyuk. Sounds like someone is going to be in for a rude awakening when she hits 50 and is no longer considered universally attractive. As everyone else stated, different strokes/different folks, and personality goes a long way. Let's hope you have something to offer your husband when you begin to lose your looks.


----------



## holyshilidin

Sorry but thats a very shallow thing to say "why do all the hot guys date the ugly chicks?" MAYBE because the "hot" chicks are full of them selfs and shallow and MAYBE they were looking for a relationship based on personality and not looks...maybe?


----------



## nothing to fear

This thread is sort of depressing.


----------



## AussiePea

hahaha Kathy <3

Also, thread from the depths.


----------



## BetaBoy90

Cuz we gangsta like that...


----------



## Haydsmom2007

what are you talking about? Men are so superficial. It's the women that date uglier.


----------



## Sindelle

This thread makes me sad. So the only thing about me a man should be interested in is my appearance? 

Anyways, who decides what is attractive? there are actually different types of attractiveness. What standard of attractiveness? as in every day pretty, or model like ? 

I don't know why a guy who is hot would date a very unattractive woman, but the whole concept of this thread is somewhat offensive to me...


----------



## Just Lurking

It's very subjective.... One person's ugly is another's hot...

You see a fat girl... He likes some curves...

You see a bone rack... He likes 'em petite...

You see a butch... He likes 'em rough and ready...

To him, she's not ugly. And this isn't even taking into consideration her personality which (now this may shock you) some guys --do-- care about.


----------



## LALoner

nothing to fear said:


> stfu - us less attractive people need some lovin' too.


Only part of this whole stupid thread that was worth reading.


----------



## Insanityonthego

I think I come to understand this better as time goes by. Some really handsome guys are so full of themselves, they live off their looks and forget to use their brains.
Uhh that didn't answer the question, right?  off topic. Some really handsome guys in the right state of mind, realize the "ugly chicks" value them for who they are, and not just their looks, and that's not all they are preoccupied with themselves.


----------



## SAgirl

Maybe the ugly girls are the nice girls.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

Low self esteem :duck


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Just Lurking said:


> It's very subjective.... One person's ugly is another's hot...
> 
> You see a fat girl... He likes some curves...
> 
> You see a bone rack... He likes 'em petite...
> 
> You see a butch... He likes 'em rough and ready...
> 
> To him, she's not ugly. And this isn't even taking into consideration her personality which (now this may shock you) some guys --do-- care about.


^  Until about here, the thread was depressing.


----------



## ozkr

Just Lurking said:


> It's very subjective.... One person's ugly is another's hot...
> 
> You see a fat girl... He likes some curves...
> 
> You see a bone rack... He likes 'em petite...
> 
> You see a butch... He likes 'em rough and ready...
> 
> To him, she's not ugly. And this isn't even taking into consideration her personality which (now this may shock you) some guys --do-- care about.


You see a big butt... He likes it he and he cannot lie...
You see an itty bitty waist and a round thing... He gets sprung...


----------



## Brightpaperwarewolf

Just Lurking said:


> It's very subjective.... One person's ugly is another's hot...
> 
> You see a fat girl... He likes some curves...
> 
> You see a bone rack... He likes 'em petite...
> 
> You see a butch... He likes 'em rough and ready...
> 
> To him, she's not ugly. And this isn't even taking into consideration her personality which (now this may shock you) some guys --do-- care about.


Word.

People always tell me to get my eyes checked because what I like, most people don't like. And btw, I'm a pretty good looking dude, probably don't qualify as hot anymore because I'm a bit out of shape from slacking, but none the less....


----------



## penny4urthoughts

caithiggs said:


> Not sure if this has been said before, but define "ugly". Because last time I checked not everybody saw through the same eyes. My first reaction to this post is that it was shallow. And I was surprised to see nobody point that out. When you say ugly do you mean not model thin makeupafied dressed like everyone else females who have long flat ironed hair? I'm sorry, I just don't feel very civil toward the original post right now.


i agree:yes


----------



## Freiheit

Maybe because the less attractive ones try extra hard to get with guys while the hot ones wait for guys to approach them, which doesn't work as well typically. Or, there are guys out there (attractive or not) that will take a girl that's willing/desperate and maybe are too lazy or insecure to be the ones doing the chasing... Or maybe she just has a "better personality."


----------



## phoenixwright

Wait you mean like couples? Maybe the guy doesn't have much confidence in themselves. Or maybe it's personal preference. Like I've been strongly attracted to certain girls that I'm sure the average guy would think is maybe a "5". And then I'll look at super model Gisele Bunchen and go "meh". I'm crazy I know. But I'm sure Gisele has no problem getting some lovin' anyway.

If we're just talking sex and hanging out and casual dating, would you say no to a McDonalds Big Mac or cold left-over pizza? It's not exactly high quality (lol) but it's still good, it's still good.


----------



## anomalous

Haydsmom2007 said:


> what are you talking about? Men are so superficial. It's the women that date uglier.


True dat... I basically *never* see what the OP is complaining about.


----------



## Ohnoes2191

ozkr said:


> You see a big butt... He likes it he and he cannot lie...
> You see an itty bitty waist and a round thing... He gets sprung...


Did he happen to pull out his tongue? :idea


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Why don't the hot girls date the ugly guys? That's what I'm wondering!


----------



## Dissonance

WintersTale said:


> Why don't the hot girls date the ugly guys? That's what I'm wondering!


to be honest it's more along the lines that women must select a man who she believes have good traits for her son for survival, so a woman is more inclined to be more picky because she wants the right traits for her child, thus she will never choose a ugly man over a beautiful one. Woman are like this and will always settle for the best they can get to make sure they get the right traits for their child, a woman is more defensive when it comes to liking someone. While men only need to be find the woman attractive a woman must find the man both attractive and to see if he is trust worthy, especially she is, after all, having the child.


----------



## TPower

WintersTale said:


> Why don't the hot girls date the ugly guys? That's what I'm wondering!


They do.

Men of high status, regardless of their physical appearance get tons of p*ssy.


----------



## ozkr

Ohnoes2191 said:


> Did he happen to pull out his tongue? :idea


Look, I can neither confirm nor deny, but from what I know, with the jeans she was wearin', he was hooked and couldn't stop starin'.


----------



## Ohnoes2191

ozkr said:


> Look, I can neither confirm nor deny, but from what I know, with the jeans she was wearin', he was hooked and couldn't stop starin'.


Now that you mention it, I overheard a conversation about nuns, an anaconda, and some buns.. :um


----------



## Lasair

It is shallow but I heard that a good looking popular guy will go for a less good looking girl as there is less a chance she will leave him for someone else - where as if she is good looking he will worry about someone else "taking" her......


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

TPower said:


> They do.
> 
> Men of high status, regardless of their physical appearance get tons of p*ssy.


What about people of low or lower status?

What do they do? Jerk off every night, and hug their pillows and cry?

(Not necessarily saying I do this, but it is pathetic how so many good guys are perpetually single!)


----------



## thankyouberry

A guy I know told me he doesn't want a hot chick because it's "too much pressure."


----------



## phoenixwright

WintersTale said:


> What about people of low or lower status?
> 
> What do they do? Jerk off every night, and hug their pillows and cry?
> 
> (Not necessarily saying I do this, but it is pathetic how so many good guys are perpetually single!)


This is assuming that we live in a polygamous society. I don't buy that woman naturally like to "share". :lol. Women are fiercely competitive with each other. God blessed women with multiple orgasms for a reason. And wives/girlfriends are very vocal about not getting enough sex from their husband/boyfriend these days.

If you feel that I'm being too idealistic, _$150 per half-hour honey_ (quoting random escort that a SAS member prank called and broadcasted live on Tinychat). _Me love you love time_. _Me love you too much_. :lol Oldest profession in the world! If you are really that hard up, there are options. There are even ladies of the night that would be willing to kiss you or even give you a girlfriend experience (I saw it in the movie The Girlfriend Experience with Sasha Grey so it must be true right? )


----------



## ozkr

Janniffy said:


> It is shallow but I heard that a good looking popular guy will go for a less good looking girl as there is less a chance she will leave him for someone else - where as if she is good looking he will worry about someone else "taking" her......


It sounds shallow and exhibits a lot of trust issues and insecurity. Without being secure of oneself, this kind of behavior ends up in lose lose situations. If you get who you want but everybody else also wants that person, you will be paranoid trying to keep that person around, but you will not trust that that person will remain faithful; If you aim lower thinking there is a guarantee that you will not have as much competition or that you're the best thing that that person can get, you might end up being with a person you don't really want be with (but you would deserve it because you'd be a douchebag).

This reminds me of my brother and his ex-wife. They were (are?) both attractive and popular, but they were arrogant and had a reputation of being in a lot of relationships before their marriage (and her second marriage). One of the reasons everything started falling apart was that they couldn't trust each other and started restricting each other's freedoms in regards to friendships, clothing, privacy, time spent alone, etc. It didn't work out too well... considering one of them lived up to their reputation.

RELEVANT TO THIS THREAD!
http://www.whoissettling.com

(I feel dirty posting that... It's so dumb!)


----------



## komorikun

I think some guys do it because as mentioned before it makes them feel more secure in the relationship. And there are some more malicious ones that do it because they can get away with more. Like cheating constantly with other women, being bossy all the time, and basically having the woman be at his beck and call.


----------



## ainsleigh

I think attraction doesn't have to do with how you look. It's chemistry. How you carry yourself. Your energy.

Its difficult to really just look at a couple and be like, "oh why are they together, he's hot, she's ugly." Thats a surface judgment. What if they are in love? Who are we to judge? I think ugliness is totally in the eye of the beholder.


----------



## TPower

ainsleigh said:


> I think attraction doesn't have to do with how you look. It's chemistry. How you carry yourself. Your energy.
> 
> Its difficult to really just look at a couple and be like, "oh why are they together, he's hot, she's ugly." Thats a surface judgment. What if they are in love? Who are we to judge? I think ugliness is totally in the eye of the beholder.


Yeah, because women who date *******s who beat them up have a lot of chemistry with their lover!


----------



## Ape in space

Looks are only one aspect of a person. If you get to know someone you can easily become attracted to them even if they weren't physically attractive at first. There are countless circumstances that could have led them to know and like each other, not just a random approach based on how attractive they looked.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

phoenixwright said:


> This is assuming that we live in a polygamous society. I don't buy that woman naturally like to "share". :lol. Women are fiercely competitive with each other. God blessed women with multiple orgasms for a reason. And wives/girlfriends are very vocal about not getting enough sex from their husband/boyfriend these days.
> 
> If you feel that I'm being too idealistic, _$150 per half-hour honey_ (quoting random escort that a SAS member prank called and broadcasted live on Tinychat). _Me love you love time_. _Me love you too much_. :lol Oldest profession in the world! If you are really that hard up, there are options. There are even ladies of the night that would be willing to kiss you or even give you a girlfriend experience (I saw it in the movie The Girlfriend Experience with Sasha Grey so it must be true right? )


But I don't just want sex. I want love, a relationship, and an eventual marriage!

If a hooker could give me that, perhaps she's either too good at her job...or not good enough!


----------



## Emsipoo

This thread makes me angry!!!  listen...I've dated a few guys in the past that I thought were 'beneath' me in a sense, because I thought they'd be more loyal and not on the prowl, but it's not always true. You could be the hottest person, and they could still look elsewhere. It comes down to that ONE person specifically. And it makes me sad that guys on here skip out on prettier girls out of fear they'll leave when someone more attractive comes along. Not everybody is like that, you must understand.


----------



## ozkr

Emsipoo said:


> This thread makes me angry!!!  listen...*I've dated a few guys in the past that I thought were 'beneath' me in a sense, because I thought they'd be more loyal and not on the prowl*, but it's not always true. You could be the hottest person, and they could still look elsewhere. It comes down to that ONE person specifically.* And it makes me sad that guys on here skip out on prettier girls out of fear they'll leave when someone more attractive comes along.* Not everybody is like that, you must understand.


I think I'm seeing double... standards!


----------



## Emsipoo

Yes, I was totally being a hypocrite. What I was trying to say, is I learned from it and don't do that anymore. I just stick to who I like, looks aside. Even if I think they're too 'good looking' for me, I go for it now.  So it makes me sad when I see others making the mistakes I did.


----------



## ozkr

Emsipoo said:


> Yes, I was totally being a hypocrite. What I was trying to say, is I learned from it and don't do that anymore. I just stick to who I like, looks aside. Even if I think they're too good for me, I go for it now.  So it makes me sad when I see others making the mistakes I did.


I appreciate the clarification .


----------



## bsd3355

ainsleigh said:


> I think attraction doesn't have to do with how you look. It's chemistry. How you carry yourself. Your energy.
> 
> Its difficult to really just look at a couple and be like, "oh why are they together, he's hot, she's ugly." Thats a surface judgment. What if they are in love? Who are we to judge? I think ugliness is totally in the eye of the beholder.


This has been one of those questions that I have had the hardest time figuring out but I think I'm (finally) slowly realizing that what you claim may be true. It's too bad joinmartin can't see my confession as I would often argue this very concept with him.

Who's to say physical appearance is of the up most importance to everyone? Do polls? Do the people you know? People have reasons for different things.


----------



## introverted loner

This question can also be asked for why hot girls date ugly guys. Perhaps they don't view them as ugly or their personality more than makes up for it.


----------



## ohgodits2014

The only thing I got out of this thread is how some people really should start minding their own business, mostly for the following reason:



> I think attraction doesn't have to do with how you look. It's chemistry. How you carry yourself. Your energy.
> 
> Its difficult to really just look at a couple and be like, "oh why are they together, he's hot, she's ugly." Thats a surface judgment. What if they are in love? Who are we to judge? I think ugliness is totally in the eye of the beholder.


It also bothers me how it's implied that good-looking people are superior people as if the most important thing about people is what they look like and not how they treat other people. I know I probably wouldn't be saying that if I wasn't ugly, but you would think a bunch of people who have experienced a lot of bullying while growing up would have more appreciation for kindness than for hotness and not be so quick to classify people as either hot or ugly.


----------



## Cassabell

rednosereindeer said:


> The only thing I got out of this thread is how some people really should start minding their own business, mostly for the following reason:
> 
> It also bothers me how it's implied that good-looking people are superior people as if the most important thing about people is what they look like and not how they treat other people. I know I probably wouldn't be saying that if I wasn't ugly, but you would think a bunch of people who have experienced a lot of bullying while growing up would have more appreciation for kindness than for hotness and not be so quick to classify people as either hot or ugly.


you make me feel better. this thread was bringing me dooowwn big time, glad you wrote this


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

rednosereindeer said:


> The only thing I got out of this thread is how some people really should start minding their own business, mostly for the following reason:
> 
> It also bothers me how it's implied that good-looking people are superior people as if the most important thing about people is what they look like and not how they treat other people. I know I probably wouldn't be saying that if I wasn't ugly, but you would think a bunch of people who have experienced a lot of bullying while growing up would have more appreciation for kindness than for hotness and not be so quick to classify people as either hot or ugly.


You're absolutely right. I feel terrible now! 

I guess we are all judgmental, to some extent. But what we all need to realize is what's ugly to one person is attractive to another, so the statement:



> "Why do hot guys date the ugly chicks?"


is a mis-statement. What determines a hot guy? What determines an ugly girl?

And maybe, just maybe, that hot guy has a lot in common with the girl you find so unappealing, and she is his type? Maybe they find each other perfect and beautiful?

I've been in enough men's locker rooms to realize that no girl is universally unattractive to every guy. And many times, I hear the statement: "that girl is so ugly!", and I'm like, "nah, she's actually pretty cute! They're crazy!"


----------



## voodoochild16

Ok for more of a logical answer, I will just say (in my own opinion) that some males and females settle for less because they are desperate. It's quite common that it could be because of social anxiety in the person that is desperate for a relationship. Theres a reason to everything, and assuming that "people are just stupid", or that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", well I just don't think that a hot guy would find an ugly girl attractive and no offense to anyone. It's just not logical, and it all comes down to their mindset, if they are desperate or not, which like I said could be caused by social anxiety or something else that makes this person that desperate.

There could be other reasons, but believe me, there is a reason to everything and while we don't know what those reasons are, it's safe to assume that nothing is ever too good to be true, theres always a downside.


----------



## TPower

Dating a very attractive girl must be annoying in the sense that even while you are with her, jerks will try to pick her up and flirt with her, which will lead to many confrontations.


----------



## ozkr

*Totally relevant.
*


----------



## leave me alone

Haha, ^ that was good.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Let people date who they want to date. If they don't want to date the person you feel they should date, you should just stay out of their decisions.


----------



## intelligentsensory

Whenever I see that, it's either 1) he is submissive 2) he is settling for less. 3) she has money 4) she tried hard 5) he was drunk when he married her.


----------



## intelligentsensory

1)







2)







3)







4)







5)


----------



## intelligentsensory

> Stop being judgmental.


 who is that in your avatar?


----------



## ozkr

WintersTale said:


> Sarah Michelle Gellar. Aka Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
> 
> Aka the tv show that aired from 1997-2003, and was insanely popular.


You judgmental monster!


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

ozkr said:


> You judgmental monster!


Oh yes, I am very picky with what I watch.

Your point?

I could put up an avatar of Doctor Who, or of House, too.


----------



## ozkr

WintersTale said:


> Oh yes, I am very picky with what I watch.
> 
> Your point?
> 
> I could put up an avatar of Doctor Who, or of House, too.


Wait... So if Buffy's avatar doesn't proof you're judgmental, then what the hell was the point intelligentsensory was trying to make by quoting you? Man, this is confusing.


----------



## intelligentsensory

> Sarah Michelle Gellar. Aka Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Aka the tv show that aired from 1997-2003, and was insanely popular.


 lol... I know who she is... anyways... as soon as I read "troll" attack... I am done with you... please just ignore me... ok. Bye. which reminds me, i need to throw away the trash...


----------



## intelligentsensory

hahaha... did somebody say anything?


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Back on topic:

I find a lot of girls more attractive, after I get to know them after a while. Someone's personality can push an average looking girl up to model status.


----------



## ozkr

WintersTale said:


> Back on topic:
> 
> I find a lot of girls more attractive, after I get to know them after a while. Someone's personality can push an average looking girl up to model status.


Definitely. Getting to know someone can also have the opposite effect, where someone loses their model status by having nothing in common with you (or by being mean, boring, etc). Sometimes beauty helps, but it guarantees nothing.


----------



## diamondheart89

Usually it is the other way around, I've seen many more women with men who would be considered unattractive by societal standards. Honestly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Consider for example that there are places where obesity is considered far more attractive than being thin. And there are cultures where having thin lips is considered far more attractive than full ones. (Though it's true that these traditions are slowly disappearing because western media is so pervasive.) The point is that it's all relative and not everyone sees things the same way. The concept of beauty we see on TV is just what we've been brainwashed to believe is the 'best', it's not a hard fact, and not everyone believes that it is the best. I mean, look at the concepts of beauty over the last few centuries and you'll see the changing definitions over time and location. Also, there are people like me who don't put much importance into appearance at all. There's no set definition of ''attractive'' to me. If I find someone sexy, it usually has nothing to do with whether they look like what society says is attractive or not. It's a combination of factors. I've found conventionally pretty/handsome people boring and unattractive many times. People with flaws are much more interesting, memorable, and sexy to me. To each their own, I guess. It's always a bit sad to see people be so quick to judgement on a forum where most people don't want to be judged for shallow reasons themselves.


----------



## roylee1970

Because they have an incredible personality would be my guess.


----------



## TPower

roylee1970 said:


> Because they have an incredible personality would be my guess.


Come on dude.

No decent looking guy on earth would date ugly women based on their personality.

Those who do are desperate or looking for something (like money).


----------



## Kennnie

i would rather date an semi ugly chick who wouldnt leave me rather than a hot chick who probaly would the second she finds someone better


----------



## roylee1970

TPower said:


> Come on dude.
> 
> No decent looking guy on earth would date ugly women based on their personality.
> 
> Those who do are desperate or looking for something (like money).


I am by no means calling myself hot and never have but I have gone out with a lot of women though and a few that were not attractive by a long shot. Why? Because they made me laugh, were very compassionate towards others or other reasons. There are many hot guys and gals dating people that are considered not so attractive for reasons other than money. There are people in this world that seek happiness.


----------



## con4cyn

It's simple. Some guys are just intimidated by extremely attractive people. That's why models have a hard time getting, and keeping some relationships. That's why some guys cheat on their actress or model significant other with the nanny/maid etc.

Other times what some see as attractive isn't attractive to others. Guys have various tastes depending on the guy. I used to have a relationship with a guy who liked big black women, but petite. He liked petite women with dark hair in general, but he liked women of various looks. He used to date models, and he said some of them had the worst attitude/self esteem issues, too. Their whole life their whole existence was about their looks. Which brings me to another point...

Some guys just want a stable strong confident girl. If she fits the bill of what he likes looks-wise then great. It all boils down to requiring the connection, confidence, and then boobs/vagina.

Seriously.


----------



## con4cyn

roylee1970 said:


> I am by no means calling myself hot and never have but I have gone out with a lot of women though and a few that were not attractive by a long shot. Why? Because they made me laugh, were very compassionate towards others or other reasons. There are many hot guys and gals dating people that are considered not so attractive for reasons other than money. There are people in this world that seek happiness.


THANK YOU!

That's like a girl dating a guy for money. I wouldn't mind a guy with at least a steady job, so he won't need me to be his bank. I just want to be happy with a companion who just wants me for me, too. Maybe part of the problem with someone with SAS is that they can be superficial, and therefore project that onto other people. No one likes pessimism.


----------



## mistyeyes

lonelysoul1980 said:


> This may make me sound like an *******, but whatever I am what I am. Time to be honest about that, lol.
> 
> I won't date a girl I consider "ugly" but there's a certain threshold of attractiveness that needs to be met.
> 
> And there's a lot of range above that threshold from "kinda cute" to "knockout". I've dated across the spectrum and based on that sample, I've observed a general trend:
> 
> - the kinda cute girls will put in the extra effort to have you like them.
> 
> - the knockouts will generally not and will expect you to put in that extra effort.
> 
> At this point in my life, I'm way too self-absorbed/distracted to put in the "extra effort" to be with a knockout but that also becomes a problem with the "kinda cutes" who I feel like I settle for because they're easier, because eventually they get tired of my laissez faire attitude towards the whole thing...
> 
> And this is fine until emotions become involved and i become attached, then the entire system falls apart lol...
> 
> Another issue is I'm realllllllllllllly picky/crazy, so even a girl I considered a knockout/kinda cute at first will upon closer analysis become not so cute/repulsive....it's not something I will share with the girl explicitly but it might be something they pick up on through my behavior (but I'm standoff-ish from jump so incredibly hard to read anyway)
> 
> For instance my most recent ex was a cute girl........not my type, but certainly attractive by general standards. Cute face, dusky, small, nimble body, lol....but she had some acne scarring on her face....
> 
> When I first met her, I was like maybe I can ignore that. But through the relationship, especially when we became more intimate, it's something I always thought about and felt so bad about, precisely because it seemed like such a silly thing that I couldn't get my head out of my *** over.
> 
> Dating is a such and weird terrible thing.


I don't believe the whole acne scarring thing really was the demise of your attraction to this girls.

Deep down it sounds like you feel that you don't deserve to be loved or aren't comfortable in a relationship/being vulnerable.

I may be completely wrong but this is what I do. When I start developing feelings for someone I immediately focus more and more on flaws until I'm no longer interested.

Strange thing is I'm not shallow! Just afraid.


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## TPower

con4cyn said:


> It's simple. Some guys are just intimidated by extremely attractive people. That's why models have a hard time getting, and keeping some relationships. That's why some guys cheat on their actress or model significant other with the nanny/maid etc.


If beautiful women have trouble with relationships, it's because they are mainly interested in the wrong kind of men .

The hard-to-tame jerkoffs or men of high status.

If a guy is in high demand, his cheating odds are much, much higher than those of a desperate guy. No wonder why many, MANY sports athletes cheat on their gf/wife behind their back. As for jerks cheating on them, well, they are jerks, so there you go.


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## missalyssa

They don't.


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## humourless

diamondheart89 said:


> Usually it is the other way around, I've seen many more women with men who would be considered unattractive by societal standards. Honestly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Consider for example that there are places where obesity is considered far more attractive than being thin. And there are cultures where having thin lips is considered far more attractive than full ones. (Though it's true that these traditions are slowly disappearing because western media is so pervasive.) The point is that it's all relative and not everyone sees things the same way. The concept of beauty we see on TV is just what we've been brainwashed to believe is the 'best', it's not a hard fact, and not everyone believes that it is the best. I mean, look at the concepts of beauty over the last few centuries and you'll see the changing definitions over time and location. Also, there are people like me who don't put much importance into appearance at all. There's no set definition of ''attractive'' to me. If I find someone sexy, it usually has nothing to do with whether they look like what society says is attractive or not. It's a combination of factors. I've found conventionally pretty/handsome people boring and unattractive many times. *People with flaws are much more interesting, memorable, and sexy to me. *To each their own, I guess. It's always a bit sad to see people be so quick to judgement on a forum where most people don't want to be judged for shallow reasons themselves.


Thank God for women like this!


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## KelsKels

roylee1970 said:


> I am by no means calling myself hot and never have but I have gone out with a lot of women though and a few that were not attractive by a long shot. Why? Because they made me laugh, were very compassionate towards others or other reasons. There are many hot guys and gals dating people that are considered not so attractive for reasons other than money. There are people in this world that seek happiness.


:clap:clap:clap:clap


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## BobtheBest

diamondheart89 said:


> Usually it is the other way around, I've seen many more women with men who would be considered unattractive by societal standards. Honestly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Consider for example that there are places where obesity is considered far more attractive than being thin. And there are cultures where having thin lips is considered far more attractive than full ones. (Though it's true that these traditions are slowly disappearing because western media is so pervasive.) The point is that it's all relative and not everyone sees things the same way. The concept of beauty we see on TV is just what we've been brainwashed to believe is the 'best', it's not a hard fact, and not everyone believes that it is the best. I mean, look at the concepts of beauty over the last few centuries and you'll see the changing definitions over time and location. Also, there are people like me who don't put much importance into appearance at all. There's no set definition of ''attractive'' to me. If I find someone sexy, it usually has nothing to do with whether they look like what society says is attractive or not. It's a combination of factors. I've found conventionally pretty/handsome people boring and unattractive many times. *People with flaws are much more interesting, memorable, and sexy to me.* To each their own, I guess. It's always a bit sad to see people be so quick to judgement on a forum where most people don't want to be judged for shallow reasons themselves.


That's hot. Nuff said. :yes

/thread.


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## bsd3355

I sometimes wonder when I get older how much my preference will change....


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## DeeperUnderstanding

bwidger85 said:


> I sometimes wonder when I get older how much my preference will change....


Hopefully, when I'm older, I will be married and won't have to worry about dating anymore.


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## sleepytime

roylee1970 said:


> I am by no means calling myself hot and never have but I have gone out with a lot of women though and a few that were not attractive by a long shot. Why? Because they made me laugh, were very compassionate towards others or other reasons. There are many hot guys and gals dating people that are considered not so attractive for reasons other than money. There are people in this world that seek happiness.


I get you. Of the girls I have dated in the past, the only one I really miss and wish I still knew is the one that 99% of guys would probably find the least physically attractive.


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## InOHIO

Wow, I really don't even know how to respond to this. Not everyone has the same idea of what is "beautiful". I have many people who are attracted to me, and then many others who are not.. Just as I am attracted to many people, but then there is some I am not. Not only is physical attraction part of it, but so is there personality. This is just an extremely shallow thing to say, come on now.


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## tbyrfan

This baffles me...I have never seen a hot guy date an ugly girl in my entire life lol


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## intelligentsensory

> Usually it is the other way around, I've seen many more women with men who would be considered unattractive by societal standards.


 the question was why... not asking the statistics in your neighborhood. IOW, why do beautiful females in your local neighborhood get with a non "attractive" male?


> Also, there are people like me who don't put much importance into appearance at all. There's no set definition of ''attractive'' to me


 lets be real... attraction is 70% looks... love is 70% feelings... if you don't know your defenition of attractive... then I guess you like ugly people. And if that is true... hmmmm...


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## intelligentsensory

Further... lol.. sorry I could dissect your logic too pieces...


> Consider for example that there are places where obesity is considered far more attractive than being thin.


 I don't know of a place right now but back in the *poor* days, it was. Being fat meant you where well fed. But now, where are those places that males find fat females attractive?


> And there are cultures where having thin lips is considered far more attractive than full ones.


 still... lets say that now having full lips is very attractive.... so we now know the definition of attractive lips... IOW, they are still attractive for the majority of the males. Does that give you a fulfilling relationship? No, but they will always be attractive now... there is always atraction based on your own beliefs and the beliefs of people who influence you.


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## roylee1970

sleepytime said:


> I get you. Of the girls I have dated in the past, the only one I really miss and wish I still knew is the one that 99% of guys would probably find the least physically attractive.


Yeah I have to agree with you there the one that I think about time to time is the only one my friends and family actually had the nerve to ask me what I was doing with because I always dated prettier girls. My answer to them was always the same, "She makes me laugh like I've never laughed before". I think I laughed more in those 3 months than in any year of my life.


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## shynesshellasucks

Some guys have weird tastes I guess. I personally find physical attractiveness to be very important when it comes to girls I like.


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## soulless

WintersTale said:


> Why don't the hot girls date the ugly guys? That's what I'm wondering!


I am by no means remotely good looking but I often see couples when i'm out and cant believe how some such gorgeous women are going out with men that are as un-good looking as me or less and I can't get anything


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## Neptunus

This thread is doing more harm than good.

****Thread closed****


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