# How the hell is everyone so happy



## MissKarlie (May 2, 2014)

I've been trying my entire life to be happy, and it's impossible to keep pretending all the time. I don't understand how everyone can be SO talkative and SO goddam happy all the bloody time.

For the past week I just couldn't be bothered pretending anymore and stayed in my room, and no one gives a **** about me. No one in my accommodation has bothered trying to talk to me at all. So **** them.

You know what I give up. I give up on people. I'm going to go through this life alone and miserable because that's obviously what everyone wants.


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## Julie13simpson (May 12, 2015)

You are not right. People are not so happy as you think, many just pretend to be. And even if they are, why you care? Make sure you are happy and do things which make you happy.


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## Pike Queen (Oct 16, 2013)

Like the above poster said, many people pretend to be happy. Especially on social media. It became a big problem for me because every time I would get on social media, I'd get depressed afterwards and ask myself literally the title of this thread. Please don't give up. Just ignore what everyone else is doing and do the things that make you happy because you are all that matters.


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## Sweenizzy (May 20, 2015)

Happy ? im not even i ever have been but yet ive pretended to be, ive made over ppl happen at my expense i just wish i knew what happiness was like


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## thaiguy2015 (May 20, 2015)

What makes you smile? what makes you laugh?? Do you have close friends? what are your passions?? Life is full of ups and downs....you have family, friends?? I used to feel like crap alot....hated everything and everybody..realized I didnt want to be that person anymore..joined clucbs, went to movies, read alot, did volunteer work....

life is exactly what you make it.......i am assuming you mare an adult????

smile at others..you will be surprised at what happens....

be good to you....good luck


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## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

Drugs


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## CosmicLow (Jun 2, 2013)

Call me insane, but i don't understand why everyone want's to be happy. I am on Risperidone 4mg from the past 3 yrs and it has killed all of my emotions. Maybe that's why i think so what's the big deal in being happy ? I prefer to stay BLANK than being happy, sad or whatever.


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## testing83234 (May 20, 2015)

mokoman said:


> I've been trying my entire life to be happy, and it's impossible to keep pretending all the time. I don't understand how everyone can be SO talkative and SO goddam happy all the bloody time.
> 
> For the past week I just couldn't be bothered pretending anymore and stayed in my room, and no one gives a **** about me. No one in my accommodation has bothered trying to talk to me at all. So **** them.
> 
> You know what I give up. I give up on people. I'm going to go through this life alone and miserable because that's obviously what everyone wants.


I see the same with people our age (20s) but I'm assuming it's because they have been given a huge slice of luck. Usually they have a boyfriend/girlfriend, money, confidence...


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## TheHaxanCloak (Jul 26, 2014)

mokoman said:


> stayed in my room, and no one gives a **** about me. No one in my accommodation has bothered trying to talk to me at all. So **** them.


This is your problem.
You're wondering what the world can offer and do for you, and feel entitled to peoples attention, respect, and friendship.

You're supposed to be asking what you can offer them.
You compete for peoples time and attention, whether you offer them words or actions. Just because you appear lonely or in need of a friend doesn't mean people *have* to acknowledge that you exist.
If you want to be seen and heard, go be seen and heard.

We aren't victims. We're not sad injured puppies that people are going to come up to and shower with affection because they feel sorry for us just because we sit in a dark lonely corner.

Find people that do enjoy your company and you do share chemistry with.

But most of all, stop assuming that you can't be happy without people talking to you and giving you attention and affection.
You should be able to distract yourself with hobbies and interests, and learn how to enjoy life by getting out there and exploring it. You don't need to be surrounded by people all the time.
If you don't enjoy your own company, how on Earth do you expect others to? Go on a solo hike and you'll be surprised at how many people you'll come across that will talk to you, offer you beer/smoke session/snacks and conversation.

I've accepted that I enjoy the company of others, but unfortunately it's hard to find people that enjoy mine(due to my lack of words to offer). I fill my void with disposable friendships, lots of hang outs involving physical outdoorsy stuff where I don't need to talk to make a connection, and lots of exploring and people-watching. 
Be creative and learn how you can fill your void for people.

You sound entirely too angry at other people, yet they haven't done anything wrong; the harsh reality is we aren't doing enough right.
Even more confusing, in your older posts you express consistently that you don't care what others have to say, or what they're going through. Why do you want friendships,then? So you can talk at people selfishly? Get a tape recorder instead, start writing things in a journal or something.

Based on your post history I suggest you see a therapist/psychiatrist. I don't think you're a "sociopath", I think you just don't care about other people socially or emotionally because it's easier for you to pretend to hate the world and push them away. If you excelled at conversation and didn't make people feel uncomfortable, you'd realize you do in fact enjoy the company of people and do care what they have to say. I hated my job until I became very good at it; socializing and making friends is the same, really.

Stop hating yourself and the world and make some steps to learn self-compassion, and work on your demeanor and body language if you really care so much about making people feel more comfortable around you. Try recording yourself in social situations and reflect back on it later.


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## testing83234 (May 20, 2015)

TheHaxanCloak said:


> This is your problem.
> You're wondering what the world can offer and do for you, and feel entitled to peoples attention, respect, and friendship.
> 
> You're supposed to be asking what you can offer them.
> ...


Sorry but you're a dick.

Once again everyone is right and we are in the wrong.

Can't even be bothered to argue this post.


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## dadadoom (Nov 14, 2013)

TheHaxanCloak said:


> If you excelled at conversation and didn't make people feel uncomfortable, you'd realize you do in fact enjoy the company of people and do care what they have to say. I hated my job until I became very good at it; socializing and making friends is the same, really.


You are so wrong. Being eloquent and knowledgeable, interesting and witty does not prevent me from being too vulnerable and yet too arrogant, having too radicalized opinions and thoughts, suffering form psychological pain when socializing, being attacked and bullied all the time because of very low self esteem but an argumentative personality and overall having no interest in people, when I am not directly hating and despising them.

Some people are not just problematic, they are walking problems. I am one of these, mokoman is other. The question lies in, what are we going to do to avoid becoming murderers, rapists or killing ourselves? Logically killing yourself is a nice way to avoid the first two options but generally is regarded as not a solution at all.


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## TheHaxanCloak (Jul 26, 2014)

dadadoom said:


> You are so wrong. Being eloquent and knowledgeable, interesting and witty does not prevent me from being too vulnerable and yet too arrogant, having too radicalized opinions and thoughts, suffering form psychological pain when socializing, being attacked and bullied all the time because of very low self esteem but an argumentative personality and overall having no interest in people, when I am not directly hating and despising them.
> 
> Some people are not just problematic, they are walking problems. I am one of these, mokoman is other. The question lies in, what are we going to do to avoid becoming murderers, rapists or killing ourselves? Logically killing yourself is a nice way to avoid the first two options but generally is regarded as not a solution at all.


Jesus, that's heavy. It takes a lot to admit something like that, though.
It sounds like you are placing blame on yourself, which I am not use to hearing around here, so I'm caught off guard and don't even know what to say.
It's nice when people are willing to acknowledge that other people don't get along with them, and often times those people never will. Some of us have traits that people aren't ideally looking for, and you cant go around hating the world just because we don't meet their expectations. People have the right to not like you or others.

The OP describes himself as a self-diagnosed sociopath in other posts. It's hard to offer him wisdom when he seems so sure of himself. Maybe the sad reality is that he is a sociopath. We didn't choose to be wired the way we are, not all of us can help it. But we can't go around saying "f**k everyone" just because we don't know how to find our niche in the world.

_"Sorry but you're a dick.
Once again everyone is right and we are in the wrong."_

The guy above can call me a jerk all he wants. It doesn't change the fact that what I said is the truth; you guys carry around this negative energy and yet you still want to place blame on the world.
Clearly the world is doing something right, that's why they're succeeding. 
You aren't "in the wrong", you just have no idea what makes you happy, or how to achieve it and fill that void, or how to connect with certain people. It takes a lot of work to connect with someone, and many of us aren't willing to try because we are so self-involved and don't bother to think about other people.
Don't assume the worst in people. 
Life is too short and we don't have enough time or energy to spend it with people that don't have much to offer us. You can't force someone to be your friends if they don't feel it.
If you can't make a connection with people around you, yet they're all making connections with themselves...C'mon, think about it. 
Go make real connections instead of throwing a temper tantrum at people for not liking you. And the irony? Lots of the people here hate most everyone anyway! You can't have it both ways; complain about how others suck and dont understand you, and then expect them to be your friend even though you don't even hold them in a positive light anyway.


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## VetChick (Oct 2, 2007)

TheHaxanCloak said:


> This is your problem.
> You're wondering what the world can offer and do for you, and feel entitled to peoples attention, respect, and friendship.
> 
> You're supposed to be asking what you can offer them.
> ...












This post is just great! I think it's a really eye opening perspective to consider.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

The normies have created this cultural religion basically that if you express anything negative you're not a team player or fun and have no value to society.


Even on this forum, bald facts like the USA is 40th place in medical care get met with anger and an "I can't believe you would say that" rather than most people actually considering and working towards any kind of solutions. America is in the ****ty state it is in right now because of this very "happy 24/7" expectation.


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

mokoman said:


> I've been trying my entire life to be happy, and it's impossible to keep pretending all the time. I don't understand how everyone can be SO talkative and SO goddam happy all the bloody time.
> 
> For the past week I just couldn't be bothered pretending anymore and stayed in my room, and no one gives a **** about me. No one in my accommodation has bothered trying to talk to me at all. So **** them.
> 
> You know what I give up. I give up on people. I'm going to go through this life alone and miserable because that's obviously what everyone wants.


Well they are happy because they are going out there and getting what they want, what their body needs, everything their body needs to be happy! Sex, money, food, social, partying, having alot of babies, family, friends, hanging out stoning. You have to do the same to be happy, you have to go out there and give your body and mind everything that it hungers for!

Our SA kind of starves us of many things our body and mind hunger for. This is the problem.  So unfair, but my body still hurts for the hunger it craves, everyday. I learned to feel this ****ty pain just because I am too lazy/SA to go out there and get what I need to be happy!


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

TheHaxanCloak said:


> But we can't go around saying "f**k everyone" just because we don't know how to find our niche in the world.


I think a lot of the people on here don't realize or just can't admit the truth that most of why we can't find that niche is someone else took it away on purpose.


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## Fuzzycoffeecup (May 10, 2015)

mokoman said:


> I don't understand how everyone can be SO talkative and SO goddam happy all the bloody time...


I struggle with this at times, too. Sometimes I just don't feel peppy enough to join into things, so I just drop off of the map for awhile.

But just because people don't reach out to you doesn't mean you're rejected, or that they want you to be an outsider. They're just caught up in whatever they're doing with their lives.

I wouldn't claim that socially successful people are in the right and that people like us are in the wrong, but I will echo what someone previously said about taking it upon yourself to find happiness. Maybe try to find something enjoyable that you can do independently. Once you know what you like, maybe you can connect with others who also like that activity.

But whatever you do, don't trap yourself inside four walls. It's important to get out and see the world. Your brain literally needs that.

Good luck.


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## AllieG (Feb 20, 2014)

If it makes you feel any better, just as many or possibly even more people are unhappy rather than happy.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

TheHaxanCloak said:


> Go make real connections instead of throwing a temper tantrum at people for not liking you. And the irony? Lots of the people here hate everyone anyway! You can't have it both ways; complain about how others suck and dont understand you, and then expect them to be your friend even though you don't even hold them in a positive light anyway.


Bingo!


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

High levels of serotonin, dopamine, and ignorance.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

RelinquishedHell said:


> High levels of serotonin and dopamine.


Fixed that for you.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

knightofdespair said:


> The normies have created this cultural religion basically that if you express anything negative you're not a team player or fun and have no value to society.
> 
> Even on this forum, bald facts like the USA is 40th place in medical care get met with anger and an "I can't believe you would say that" rather than most people actually considering and working towards any kind of solutions. America is in the ****ty state it is in right now because of this very "happy 24/7" expectation.


Shut yo' mouth! I can't believe.......:lol

Obamacare will makes us sink further, though. All that money going to the Government instead of to people who need it.....and bleeding the rest dry through their taxes....

Did you know that this was the first year of the "penalty"? It's equivalent to 1% of gross income. Imagine that money going to actually help the economy....nope, the Obomination gets it.


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

TheHaxanCloak said:


> This is your problem.
> You're wondering what the world can offer and do for you, and feel entitled to peoples attention, respect, and friendship.
> 
> You're supposed to be asking what you can offer them.
> ...


Wow I read everything you wrote here, I don't do that often, but it is so attention catching! This what you wrote here will surely help me in my SA life. Thanks!


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

TheHaxanCloak said:


> Jesus, that's heavy. It takes a lot to admit something like that, though.
> It sounds like you are placing blame on yourself, which I am not use to hearing around here, so I'm caught off guard and don't even know what to say.
> It's nice when people are willing to acknowledge that other people don't get along with them, and often times those people never will. Some of us have traits that people aren't ideally looking for, and you cant go around hating the world just because we don't meet their expectations. People have the right to not like you or others.
> 
> ...


Nice, you should write a book :yes


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## tronjheim (Oct 21, 2012)

TheHaxanCloak said:


> This is your problem.
> You're wondering what the world can offer and do for you, and feel entitled to peoples attention, respect, and friendship...


Indeed. It's our self-perception that's been distorted due to our disorders and that dictates how we view (and act towards) the universe around us.

I know it's easier (way, way, WAY easier) said than done, but it's true and we have to do something. To just be part of this world and do what we can to _enjoy _it for the time being that we're all existing.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

millenniumman75 said:


> Shut yo' mouth! I can't believe.......:lol
> 
> Obamacare will makes us sink further, though. All that money going to the Government instead of to people who need it.....and bleeding the rest dry through their taxes....
> 
> Did you know that this was the first year of the "penalty"? It's equivalent to 1% of gross income. Imagine that money going to actually help the economy....nope, the Obomination gets it.


That is just one thing of dozens that are destroying every avenue the average American person has to provide for themselves. The overall quality of work people can get has never been more constrained, and the overall number of people competing for these is always way too many. It is mind boggling how many people can't see the danger signs and think the only answer is cutting taxes on millionaires or giving multinational corporations that are already committing treason against the public even less regulation or oversight.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

knightofdespair said:


> That is just one thing of dozens that are destroying every avenue the average American person has to provide for themselves. The overall quality of work people can get has never been more constrained, and the overall number of people competing for these is always way too many. It is mind boggling how many people can't see the danger signs and think the only answer is cutting taxes on millionaires or giving multinational corporations that are already committing treason against the public even less regulation or oversight.


The companies need to hold their CEOs accountable and do performance reviews like everyone else. The companies are taxed so much, they won't hire, because each job would have benefits and taxes on those benefits. The goal is to give some to the Government, but more to the employee.

Millionaires are taxed, but companies are taxed too much. They need incentive to keep jobs in the U.S.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

People aren't always as happy as you think. It is said that people who are always smiling and talkative are the ones who have a lot of **** going on underneath their shell. I don't know if there is any truth to that but yeah.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

millenniumman75 said:


> The companies need to hold their CEOs accountable and do performance reviews like everyone else. The companies are taxed so much, they won't hire, because each job would have benefits and taxes on those benefits. The goal is to give some to the Government, but more to the employee.
> 
> Millionaires are taxed, but companies are taxed too much. They need incentive to keep jobs in the U.S.


That is what they tell people, and you apparently believed it. They pocket hundreds of millions at the top and treat entire nation's governments as their own pocket *****, but if we just dropped taxes 5% they'd behave they promise..

Meanwhile 75% of hard working Americans live paycheck to paycheck and pay double the tax rate most of these jokers do.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

knightofdespair said:


> That is what they tell people, and you apparently believed it. They pocket hundreds of millions at the top and treat entire nation's governments as their own pocket *****, but if we just dropped taxes 5% they'd behave they promise..
> 
> Meanwhile 75% of hard working Americans live paycheck to paycheck and pay double the tax rate most of these jokers do.


I don't know about that. CEOs have Board of Directors to deal with. If there was a problem, they'd be out the door. I have seen it.

Greed is a demon, that's for sure.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

"Look on the bright side!"


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## skyisblue (Nov 7, 2014)

mokoman said:


> I've been trying my entire life to be happy, and it's impossible to keep pretending all the time. I don't understand how everyone can be SO talkative and SO goddam happy all the bloody time.
> 
> For the past week I just couldn't be bothered pretending anymore and stayed in my room, and no one gives a **** about me. No one in my accommodation has bothered trying to talk to me at all. So **** them.
> 
> You know what I give up. I give up on people. I'm going to go through this life alone and miserable because that's obviously what everyone wants.


It's because 95% of the world doesn't have SAD. 78% of people are outgoing, so right there that's 78% of people that are going to socialize often and enjoy it because it's in their nature.

There's your answer. Unfortunately we (the community) got dealt a tough hand of cards socially. It's just chance. Most people get lucky, some people don't.


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## lyssado707 (Oct 29, 2004)

I agree a lot of it is phony. People try to make themselves look good. It's also probably the absence of mental problems in normal folk. Then some people just have good circumstances in life too.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

Everyone has problems. Most of them fake their happiness while others solve their problems with a positive attitude.


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## moonlite (Nov 25, 2012)

I think they're drinking Coca Cola.

http://us.coca-cola.com/happiness/


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## Nilrem (Jan 13, 2014)




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## idontevencare (Jun 3, 2015)

i hate it, especially working in retail i of course have to greet customers all the time with a smile and have to respond to their how are you's be fine. i'm like i can't take this anymore my fake smile instantly disappears after 2 days. i feel so annoyed by everyone, i'm jealous i know they don't have perfect lives but i wish i were anyone but myself right now lol


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## starsfire (May 11, 2015)

I dont know why either. You know what really makes me mad when i go places. And see someone walking around by themselves but there smileing . I mean really what the **** are they smileing at? Why smile when your alone?


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## tiramisu (Jan 28, 2015)

i always look happy in front of other people, somehow related to my people pleasing behavior. i tend to not expressed my disagreement, frown, disappointment, displeasure to other people. 
in my mind, i always think, "this is rare situation you hangout with other people, just let go and be happy, don't fight it, don't fight them, just get along". 
but when i got home, i'm unhappy lonely person again.


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## chessman6500 (Sep 5, 2013)

I'm relatively happy and I don't have too many friends or a girlfriend. I no longer base self-worth on that.

As for all of the political stuff the world has gotten pretty edged up these days, I don't know exactly what caused it but we seem to be throwing ourselves under the kitchen sink and we never used to do that.

Its a waste to be depressed, and you'll have a much better chance to be liked by the opposite sex if your optimistic enough. Negative people are not appealing to these people.


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## fedex1 (Jun 4, 2015)

starsfire said:


> I dont know why either. You know what really makes me mad when i go places. And see someone walking around by themselves but there smileing . I mean really what the **** are they smileing at? Why smile when your alone?


Hahaha. Yeah some people are just happy people


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

starsfire said:


> I dont know why either. You know what really makes me mad when i go places. And see someone walking around by themselves but there smileing . I mean really what the **** are they smileing at? Why smile when your alone?


A smile will do you better.


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## indiscipline (May 24, 2015)

I live just by a daycare center with lots of noisy kids. Pretty much makes it impossible to sleep in on weekdays. Today I saw one of them fall face first right into a puddle of mud, which made me extraordinarily happy.


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## ph0non (Jun 8, 2015)

They are happy because they have everything they want / need. The sad, lonely people keep their head down or post on websites like this one.


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