# Reactive depression after meeting with friends



## ghaleon12 (May 3, 2009)

I just thought of this and wanted to post something quick. I don't have this problem now since I don't hangout with anyone, but there was one girl in High School that was basically a stalker. It's hard to keep friends when you have SA and I had no one really, but her persistance was unmatched lol. But when I'd go out with her after her basically forcing me, I'd get home and feel pretty depressed. Even if things went fine and I didn't have or show anxiety, I'd still have this depression afterwards.

I don't know how to describe it since its been awhile, but was wondering if thats common or whatever.


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## rockst4r (May 4, 2009)

maybe you hate being alone and when your are home alone again the depression kicks in because you rather be out with people.. . .that happens to me...


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## marcus1983b (May 5, 2009)

i can relate to how the depression happens after those situations. i think rockst4r had a good point. i think for me sometimes, i get depressed when i hang out with people that i know i don't like just so i had someone to be around. i have been in similar situations where overbearing people have attempted to hang out with me and i do it just so that i have something to do and then afterwards i feel like a huge loser. then there is the overanalyzing. am i being too harsh on this person? am i pushing them away or is there genuinely no chemistry? if this is similar to what you are going through then what works for me in this situation is to think clearly about why i am pulling away. and it is always out of fear. give this person a chance. if you still aren't into them after getting to know them, then at least you knwo that you tried.


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## Biscuit (Mar 20, 2009)

yeah. I don't know if this is related, but I often feel depressed after I do something carefree with friends because I feel like I'm not being completely honest. maybe it's the same in the sense that you are not fully there with that person?


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## marcus1983b (May 5, 2009)

i agree. it's always in the back of my mind. it keeps me from truly enjoying myself.


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## bheslop (Oct 17, 2008)

this is totally what i feel. I was thinking about this a few weeks ago. I go out with my friends or on a date..and i feel great with them. No anxiety(sometimes) and laughing and actually getting people to understand and laugh at my jokes. But the moment i step away and go home i feel depressed. I truly think it is that i want t be with someone. But at the same time my SA is pulling me away and i feel like i never want to see another person again. Its wierd and kinda hard to put into words.


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## TeddyBear (May 9, 2009)

I sort of feel fearful and depressed after having spent time with friends and family. I have this terrible dread of being completely alone with no one to turn to. It kind of kicks in every time I return alone to my flat after I've had a weekend away. It's a really indescribable fear.


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## iamthemoon (May 26, 2009)

Wow I was surprised to see this. I Googled "social anxiety afterwards" and this is the first thing that came up. How timely.

This is something I've struggled with terribly for a handful of years. I probably noticed it after college dorm life when there were more opportunities to be alone and reflect about recent social interactions. And also when I started going to bars and feeling a "Saturday neurosis" wherein I'm depressed all day, vaguely feeling anxious about my uninhibited social behavior the night before.

I usually don't feel socially anxious _during_ social interaction, or if I do, it's very well compensated for by being funny, or spontaneous or just my natural "let it all hang out" attitude.

I had this epiphany (false or not) yesterday, that what I feel after social interactions is not guilt or regret, but rather just straight social anxiety. The idea I had is that after the social interaction, I'm actually still interacting with the person via my lingering impression.

If I behaved in a way that seems dubious to me after the fact, or might have given the people around me funny looks, or if I wasn't being myself, or was around people where I'm not accepted for who I am, there will be this lingering social anxiety.

After an undesirable social interaction, there is nothing you can do about how it will play out in the minds of people who observed you, but some of us still have this attachment to our image.


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## OhNoTaylor (Nov 3, 2008)

Yes, I get depressed after doing anything social. I don't know why though.


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## ShyViolet (Nov 11, 2003)

I get depressed after doing something social. I feel happy and relieved that I got to step away from my cabin fever, depression, and loneliness... then I return to it and know it will be a long time before I go out again. I wish I had a group of friends I hung out with on a regular basis.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

OhNoTaylor said:


> Yes, I get depressed after doing anything social. I don't know why though.


This happens to me as well most times & it's a mix of some of the reasons stated


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## Eugenie (Feb 17, 2009)

iamthemoon said:


> And also when I started going to bars and feeling a "Saturday neurosis" wherein I'm depressed all day, vaguely feeling anxious about my uninhibited social behavior the night before.
> 
> I usually don't feel socially anxious _during_ social interaction, or if I do, it's very well compensated for by being funny, or spontaneous or just my natural "let it all hang out" attitude.
> 
> ...


THIS IS ME EXACTLY! Which I think makes my SA different from a lot of people's here. The funny thing is, because I associate the after effects with socialising, I start wanting to avoid it altogether, even though at the time it might be fun. It's a strange sort of social hangover. If I am in a weird neurotic mood, I can get anxiety even after saying a quick hello on the street to a friend or buying a chocolate bar.


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## Eugenie (Feb 17, 2009)

Oh and I wanted to add that usually for me it is post- socialising anxiety rather than depression- but it can turn to depression after a while because I am so miserable about always feeling anxious...

I also sometimes feel depressed after talking on the phone to old friends. It depresses me because I feel so disconnected from them.


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## fallingdownonmyface (Dec 3, 2006)

Often times I can be having a good time but towards the end of the night or chillin I'll start feeling this depression coming up and it sucks


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## princesscupcake (Feb 4, 2009)

People don't bring me satisfaction, besides I never really feel close to someone or like I know them or that they know me. I think it's easy to keep people at a distance when you are always subconsciously on guard.


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## LNahid2000 (May 23, 2007)

Wow, this happens to me every time I hang out with the only person I really hang out with. During my day with him I'm usually enjoying myself and having fun, but on the bus ride home and usually for all of the next day I feel so low and I'm not sure why. I don't know how to stop it and it really sucks since I do like hanging out with him.


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## shadesofgrey (Jun 2, 2009)

OMG me too. Like just the other day I had a really good lunch time, all my friends were talking to me, and giving me hugs, and being really attentive.
But then straight after I felt all withdrawn all over again, retreated up to the library as per usual, and felt ****y. For some reason, I feel kind of guilty, and like a phony. And sometimes I overanalyse and stress over how I acted.
It's weird. It's like I want friends, but then I don't want friends. Ambiguous much?


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