# Toronto Area Friends



## Marty_McPinner (Nov 26, 2003)

Hello,

I've had SA most of my life, some days it's better where I can go out and interact with people. Other days my anxiety gets real bad where I avoid any social interaction. I really struggle with talking to people and socializing in large groups. 

Im interested in making new friends here that can help each other cope with and even overcome their SA. 
So if anyone from the Toronto area interested in chatting and perhaps hanging out in the future let me know :smile2:


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## AllGlad (Feb 16, 2018)

Marty_McPinner said:


> Hello,
> 
> I've had SA most of my life, some days it's better where I can go out and interact with people. Other days my anxiety gets real bad where I avoid any social interaction. I really struggle with talking to people and socializing in large groups.
> 
> ...


Hmm... just curious but can you explain how you have an account from 2003 and only made one post 16 years later?


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

AllGlad said:


> Hmm... just curious but can you explain how you have an account from 2003 and only made one post 16 years later?


I was wondering the same thing. Lol.


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## Suchness (Aug 13, 2011)

He just got out of jail.


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## Marty_McPinner (Nov 26, 2003)

Suchness said:


> He just got out of jail.


Ssshhhh. Stop spilling my secrets! :lol


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## Marty_McPinner (Nov 26, 2003)

AllGlad said:


> Hmm... just curious but can you explain how you have an account from 2003 and only made one post 16 years later?


Honestly Im not sure. I thought I did post a message or two in the past but I guess not. I spent most of my time in the chatrooms back in the day.

I left SAS fourms after a couple of years as my SA improved but Ive hit a bit of a rough patch lately, so here I am.


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## AllGlad (Feb 16, 2018)

Marty_McPinner said:


> Honestly Im not sure. I thought I did post a message or two in the past but I guess not. I spent most of my time in the chatrooms back in the day.
> 
> I left SAS fourms after a couple of years as my SA improved but Ive hit a bit of a rough patch lately, so here I am.


So what's your story? Like... from the time you first started on this site till now...


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## Marty_McPinner (Nov 26, 2003)

AllGlad said:


> So what's your story? Like... from the time you first started on this site till now...


All right story time... Im a terrible story teller btw...just wanted to let you know what you are getting yourself into haha.

So back in 2003 I was going through a pretty rough period in my life. I was struggling in college, couldn't make any friends, didn't know how to talk to people, pretty much flunked out of school(got put on academic suspension), and was in a pretty deep depression. Ended up moving back to my parents house.

Started googling ways to overcome shyness and discovered SAS forums. I believe it was Becky, she was one of the MODS back in the day, that was running a support group in the chat rooms that met weekly or maybe twice a week, It was so long ago can't remember, sorry. I figured why not and gave it a try. So I bought _The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook: Proven Techniques for Overcoming Your Fears_ book and joined the support group.

In the group we go through the chapters and have discussions on what we read, how to put the techniques and strategies we learned into practice.We would push each other into applying what we learned and support each other when were struggling. It helped me a bit, my SA never really went away but it had improved. I was and still am, the quiet guy, still get a bit anxious talking to new people or talking in large groups. But I made an effort to be more social with people and it became easier to talk to people. i started to making friends and my depression went away.

The last couple of years has been a struggle for me. I was going through a career change and trying to figuring out what I wanted to do which has been stressful. And that lead into a bit of a depression and started to isolate myself from people. I just done a very poor job of maintaining the friendships I've made in the past.

So now I'm trying to fix that. I've been working out to build my self esteem and confidence. Been making an effort to reconnect with old friends. I've been listening to audiobooks, watching videos on youtube and reading articles on how to become a better conversationalist cause I am terrible at that haha. But it is hard sometime to make yourself to do all of this.

I guess thats why Im back on SAS. Trying to find people near me, that understands what I'm going through, to help support, push and coach each other into being a better version of ourselves.


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## AllGlad (Feb 16, 2018)

Marty_McPinner said:


> All right story time... Im a terrible story teller btw...just wanted to let you know what you are getting yourself into haha.
> 
> So back in 2003 I was going through a pretty rough period in my life. I was struggling in college, couldn't make any friends, didn't know how to talk to people, pretty much flunked out of school(got put on academic suspension), and was in a pretty deep depression. Ended up moving back to my parents house.
> 
> ...


I had similiar struggles when I was in university, medicore grades, no friends really... was thinking of dropping out, but my parents would kill me so, I continued till I graduated...
When your talking about this support group, was it something that you attended, or was it all online?

Also I think you were a year too late, we had some sas meetups last year, but now that the site has died down a bit, there isn't as much people interested anymore...


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## Crisigv (Aug 3, 2013)

I managed to go to one meetup from here in Toronto. After that, I chickened out. I know that having a social life outside of my family would really benefit me, and others.


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## Marty_McPinner (Nov 26, 2003)

AllGlad said:


> I had similiar struggles when I was in university, medicore grades, no friends really... was thinking of dropping out, but my parents would kill me so, I continued till I graduated...


Good on ya for sticking with it and graduating. I know it how tough it can be to be in school with SA.



AllGlad said:


> When your talking about this support group, was it something that you attended, or was it all online?


This support group was all done online in a SAS chatroom



AllGlad said:


> Also I think you were a year too late, we had some sas meetups last year, but now that the site has died down a bit, there isn't as much people interested anymore...


Damn, Im always late to the party haha. Well I would be down to do a future meetup if anyone is interested.


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## Marty_McPinner (Nov 26, 2003)

Crisigv said:


> I managed to go to one meetup from here in Toronto. After that, I chickened out. I know that having a social life outside of my family would really benefit me, and others.


You made to one meetup, thats step in the right direction. You can't let your anxiety hold you back, you just have to push yourself and go through with it for the next one. I know its easier said than done but I know you can do it, you've done it once before.

Ive been trying to goto a meetup for SA group I found on meetup.com but I chickened out as I got to the front entrance of the building. Next time ill make it into the building haha.


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## Crisigv (Aug 3, 2013)

Marty_McPinner said:


> You made to one meetup, thats step in the right direction. You can't let your anxiety hold you back, you just have to push yourself and go through with it for the next one. I know its easier said than done but I know you can do it, you've done it once before.
> 
> Ive been trying to goto a meetup for SA group I found on meetup.com but I chickened out as I got to the front entrance of the building. Next time ill make it into the building haha.


Yes, you're probably right. Even at the first meet I was in my car scared. And one of the sas members was messaging me to help me come inside. I'm glad I did. Not sure why the other meets were harder to go to, they should be easier. Maybe because new people were added. I just want to find friends.

Good luck with your meets too.


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## AllGlad (Feb 16, 2018)

Marty_McPinner said:


> You made to one meetup, thats step in the right direction. You can't let your anxiety hold you back, you just have to push yourself and go through with it for the next one. I know its easier said than done but I know you can do it, you've done it once before.
> 
> Ive been trying to goto a meetup for SA group I found on meetup.com but I chickened out as I got to the front entrance of the building. Next time ill make it into the building haha.


What meetup group are you referring too? Is it the one near Wellesly station?


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## Memories of Silence (May 15, 2015)

I always read the title of this thread as "Tomato Area Friends."


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## Marty_McPinner (Nov 26, 2003)

AllGlad said:


> What meetup group are you referring too? Is it the one near Wellesly station?


yes, the one by Wellsly station.


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## PepeSylvia (Dec 1, 2016)

Hello fellow Torontonians. I just want to say I love you all and hope that you guys can work through your issues. I feel like I've relapsed a bit lately with my Social Anxiety, and logged back on after a while. Just when you think you're finally past it, it creeps back into your life. I would be down to meetup sometime to share stories or feelings.


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## Marty_McPinner (Nov 26, 2003)

PepeSylvia said:


> Hello fellow Torontonians. I just want to say I love you all and hope that you guys can work through your issues. I feel like I've relapsed a bit lately with my Social Anxiety, and logged back on after a while. Just when you think you're finally past it, it creeps back into your life. I would be down to meetup sometime to share stories or feelings.


Hey PepeSylvia, sorry to hear about your recent difficulties with SA. Do you mind sharing your story about your recent struggles.

Living with SA is tough. I think I've come to realize that my SA will never really go away. Its just something that needs to be constantly worked on and managed for the rest of my life. When its not being worked on I begin to regress back into my socially anxious ways.

Im totally game for any future meetups.


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## AllGlad (Feb 16, 2018)

Marty_McPinner said:


> Hey PepeSylvia, sorry to hear about your recent difficulties with SA. Do you mind sharing your story about your recent struggles.
> 
> Living with SA is tough. I think I've come to realize that my SA will never really go away. Its just something that needs to be constantly worked on and managed for the rest of my life. When its not being worked on I begin to regress back into my socially anxious ways.
> 
> Im totally game for any future meetups.


If you guys organzie something, I may come if I am invited


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## Meero (Dec 13, 2011)

Hey kinda late to the party but i would be interested if you guys have any future meetups


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