# Loner. NO friends. NO life.



## dman93 (Aug 25, 2014)

im a 21 year old guy and I have no social life at all. I have zero friends and I don't go out. Back in highschool I actually had a group of friends, but I was always the outcast cause of my shyness. I drifted away from them by the start of college. They got into heavy drugs anyway. I went to a 2-year community college and didn't/couldn't meet new friends. I never fit in. Im out of school now, totally undecided on a career path, currently working at a ****ty retail store which I HATE. 

I realized im a miserable loner and its 100% my fault. Im naturally a quiet, boring, dull person. I never have much to say at all. I don't have ANY passions, talents, or hobbies in life. Im not into specific music, movies or tv shows or anything. I DO in fact like hockey, but I cant afford the equipment let alone play in a league; its too expensive. 

Its just very weird since both my parents are extroverts and I am the total opposite. Even at family parties, I make a fool of myself by just sitting there saying nothing. I hate this. Im not interested in conversations, why? because im not interested about ANYTHING in life...

I cant picture myself changing my personality. I feel this is who I am. I am a introvert.

I just wish I had friends, had fun, got laid. But I can keep dreaming about that I guess.

Any advice would help.


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## ShadowOnTheWall (Dec 24, 2010)

Join some clubs and hobby groups, if you arent sure which just try any your curious about.


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## chessman6500 (Sep 5, 2013)

Wow we would get along great we are almost identical, only our hobbies are different. Keep trying, thats all I can tell you.


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## apb4y (Aug 27, 2014)

If I understand correctly, you have the following goals:

1. Make friends.

2. Have fun.

3. Get laid.

Pick one of them and do that first.


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## scott83 (Aug 10, 2014)

apb4y said:


> If I understand correctly, you have the following goals:
> 
> 1. Make friends.
> 
> ...


Managing number 1 or 3 is likely to lead to number 2 :yes


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## Teenage Dirtbag (Apr 24, 2014)

I think you just need to get out there and discover yourself, you never know what you like/dislike until you try it. I like to think that we invent the person that we are.. but that's just me 

Btw, yes hockey equipment is expensive but skating at a rink is cheap and scrimmage games are free


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## Alex 610 (Aug 28, 2014)

You are not alone. I feel very lonely. People want to be my friend but I'm always too scared to talk to them again.


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## StNaive (Feb 21, 2013)

dman93 said:


> Im not interested in conversations, why? *because im not interested about ANYTHING in life...*
> 
> I cant picture myself changing my personality. I feel this is who I am. I am a introvert.
> 
> ...


When you think about how you wish you could have fun, what do you picture yourself doing? You said you like hockey; are there free or cheap ways to become involved with that in your area?


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## Asha1985 (Aug 23, 2014)

Have you ever taught of volunteering? There are 3?potential benefits from it.

1) Unlike your job environment where you co-workers are also your competitors, when u volunteer, you meet people who are open and may have similar interests to you.

2) Volunteering in different types of organizations can help you get an idea of what you would like to do with your life.

3) It can be a great confidence booster.


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## Zero 7 DK (Aug 31, 2014)

Hi dman93

I'm in your shoes, people only talk to me when they need me . I had a group of friends but i just don't fit in anymore. All of i ever do is dream in a happier place, got no good things in life right now , and no one cares.


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## dman93 (Aug 25, 2014)

Zero 7 DK said:


> Hi dman93
> 
> I'm in your shoes, people only talk to me when they need me . I had a group of friends but i just don't fit in anymore. All of i ever do is dream in a happier place, got no good things in life right now , and no one cares.


same same. life sucks


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## JoyOlivia (Sep 1, 2014)

Zero 7 DK said:


> Hi dman93
> 
> I'm in your shoes, people only talk to me when they need me . I had a group of friends but i just don't fit in anymore. All of i ever do is dream in a happier place, got no good things in life right now , and no one cares.


Same here.


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## Zero 7 DK (Aug 31, 2014)




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## Conquer Fear (Aug 11, 2013)

I am older now I am 37, but was with like 3 really hot chicks. I am also a "loner, loser, introvert, shy, no personality"

Being an introvert is not a repellant, but being an insecure, shy unsure introvert IS. I would stay away from thinking you have no personality, I doubt that is the case as that is what I thought about myself. 

I think I am definitely an introvert, but more of an enigma and weird than have a bad personality. Like I feel I was born at the wrong time, in the wrong place, and it is just baffling with all my intellect opportunities and solid foundation that I turned out the way I did. 

I can bet you do have a personality, you just have to bring it out, and display it when with a chick or on a date etc. Either way, you will strike out a lot, that is life, the key is the acting part, and being able to "turn it on" Women, or people, don't want to hear your sob stories, or complaining, I learned this the hard way. Fake being happy even if you are miserable, it's the only way

You don't have to change being an introvert, just make adjustments. If you are alone with a woman, then you really should avoid being an introvert. At that point, I don't even care anymore. It is the initial stages of first contact and fear of rejection I suck at.


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## blondiegirliexo (Sep 9, 2014)

If I could describe my life with just a few words, it would be the title of this thread literally


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## RainbowCharcoal (Sep 11, 2014)

Wow, it's like I read something I wrote myself, except I'm a chick and I'm 22.. and I do have a boyfriend so I sorta get laid every once in a while.

You're not alone.


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## Conquer Fear (Aug 11, 2013)

RainbowCharcoal said:


> Wow, it's like I read something I wrote myself, except I'm a chick and I'm 22.. and I do have a boyfriend so I sorta get laid every once in a while.
> 
> You're not alone.


Hi this is gonna sound weird but how often do you have sex with him? I saw a woman for a year recently and after about a year or so I lost interest completely.


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## Jinkies (Aug 31, 2013)

blondiegirliexo said:


> If I could describe my life with just a few words, it would be the title of this thread literally


Same here!


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## RainbowCharcoal (Sep 11, 2014)

Conquer Fear said:


> Hi this is gonna sound weird but how often do you have sex with him? I saw a woman for a year recently and after about a year or so I lost interest completely.


 Well we broke up yesterday so not often anymore, lol. We were together for four months and probably only had sex 6-7 times. He had the tiniest libido I've ever experienced with a man. He was completely uninterested in sex. I would have to bug him or bring up the fact we hadn't in a while. Claimed he wasn't a good initiator.

But you also have to take into account that we lived an hour and 10 minutes from each other and would only see each other once a week on my days off work. Our sex life, or lack of one, was actually pretty unusual for me. Part of why we broke up, actually.


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## Quietlittlemaninabox (Sep 8, 2014)

Go out and be the man you want to be! Just put on the mask, play the part, whatever it takes within reason to get a preview of the ideal life you are envisioning. You may find you really do love it, and if so then why stop? But if you realize you don't like it then modify and move on from there.


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## Conquer Fear (Aug 11, 2013)

RainbowCharcoal said:


> Well we broke up yesterday so not often anymore, lol. We were together for four months and probably only had sex 6-7 times. He had the tiniest libido I've ever experienced with a man. He was completely uninterested in sex. I would have to bug him or bring up the fact we hadn't in a while. Claimed he wasn't a good initiator.
> 
> But you also have to take into account that we lived an hour and 10 minutes from each other and would only see each other once a week on my days off work. Our sex life, or lack of one, was actually pretty unusual for me. Part of why we broke up, actually.


Well when I was 23 I dated an 18 year old girl who was very hot but I really hated her personality and we didn't click. She complained that we only had sex 6 times in the entire 6 months. We really had nowhere to go to be alone and both lived with our parents, but even if we didn't, her remarks every 3 minutes like blurting out "poop" and "fart" constantly were so freaking annoying I just wanted out and sex was the last thing on my mind.

In your case, maybe you just didn't click and it had nothing to do with you.

An hour give or take is really I think the cutoff of a long distance relationship. If I am taking one relaxing train one-way without switching that isn't in the ghetto, an hour is not bad. If you have to switch trains and wait in heat or deal with delays, it is just not worth it. Anything over an hour one way is generally too much.


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## illage2 (Sep 27, 2014)

dman93 said:


> im a 21 year old guy and I have no social life at all. I have zero friends and I don't go out. Back in highschool I actually had a group of friends, but I was always the outcast cause of my shyness. I drifted away from them by the start of college. They got into heavy drugs anyway. I went to a 2-year community college and didn't/couldn't meet new friends. I never fit in. Im out of school now, totally undecided on a career path, currently working at a ****ty retail store which I HATE.
> 
> I realized im a miserable loner and its 100% my fault. Im naturally a quiet, boring, dull person. I never have much to say at all. I don't have ANY passions, talents, or hobbies in life. Im not into specific music, movies or tv shows or anything. I DO in fact like hockey, but I cant afford the equipment let alone play in a league; its too expensive.
> 
> ...


I had a similar experience, except my friends just made other friends, and eventually I was invisible to them. Not all of them I still get messages from one of them from time to time though which is nice.

Honestly though I'm at that stage where I don't care if I have no friends. I've found its better to be alone by myself, than be alone amongst others.


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## HanSolo (Jul 5, 2013)

OP it took a huge crush to break me out of my isolation years

And now I'm slowly meeting people, and a whole lotta girls, and a new crush (I wonder if she's heard of my past crush, there are overlapping social circles),* it feels like it will take forever to get to the next level*, but its always like that


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## Nothing123 (Oct 3, 2014)

You can be my friend??


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## catdoll (Dec 27, 2012)

i know what your saying. I try to talk to people online and I got nothing to say and I think they are so boring aswell so I just dont bother talking to them. I cant find anyone who can make me laugh atm. So i stay with myself most of the time. Idk what to do anymore. feels like im stuck :/


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## Naytve (Sep 27, 2014)

Same and yet I wasted all this year again now im probably too old to do a damn thing about it.


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## ShadowOnTheWall (Dec 24, 2010)

Naytve said:


> Same and yet I wasted all this year again now im probably too old to do a damn thing about it.


24 is nowhere near too late, others have started later. Heck the 20s are a great decade for turning things around


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## bluecrime (Jan 27, 2013)

Yeah well just take comfort in the fact theirs loads of guys like you on here. Not that it helps.


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## wherecanigo (Oct 31, 2013)

dman93 said:


> I realized im a miserable loner and its 100% my fault. Im naturally a quiet, boring, dull person. I never have much to say at all. I don't have ANY passions, talents, or hobbies in life. Im not into specific music, movies or tv shows or anything.


I feel you on this.. I used to go out once in a while with a girl i knew and her friends and it was always so terribly awkward for me. I really believed that i just didn't have anything to say/was boring/dull/etc. But it was only my anxiety. I'm actually quite talkative, articulate, curious, and fun to be around--so long as I'm comfortable around the people. But if I'm not, I have zero to say and don't even think of anything to say.
I definitely don't have any passions either, very few hobbies--maybe collecting/ watching movies but in general really nothing I do often/love to do. Until about a month ago I didn't even know what bands I liked. Hate tv. I'm just starting my third year at university and still really don't know what I want to do.. Just kind of going through the motions--and poorly at that--constantly missing assignments, forgetting about them and just not even doing some of them.

So I know what you mean man. I guess you should try new things to figure out what you like or try to find something that gives you joy, which isn't great advice because I'm 24 now and still in basically the same spot you are in.
But do you not have SA? If you do, and it's really bad, it is not your fault.


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## Cpinn84 (Oct 16, 2014)

*Boring, Dull and Lame*

I feel like we are in the same boat. I've come to a few realizations and I'm steadily making improvements. Most times I stay quiet to avoid being judged or to avoid sounding stupid. I rarely have much to contribute to conversation because I feel that what I have to say isn't valuable. However, if you really start to pay attention to a lot of what people have to say you will start to notice that most people don't know two ****s what they're talking about yet what makes what they say interesting is that they say it with conviction. If you're not interested in what you have to say and if you don't think you're interested then its going to be tough to get others interested in what you have to offer. People are too focused on themselves anyway so if you have something to say and I believe most people have something valuable to share, when you share it, share it with passion. As for feeling dull and lame realize that these things are purely just feelings. If you go to the gym and work on your body and improve your posture you will start to feel more confident.


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## uyy (Oct 7, 2014)

add me if u guys wana talkk il be ur friendss =]


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