# Is a relationship something you honestly want?



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

When it comes down to wanting relationships, who's to say they are what we really want? Do you think a part of us only desires relationships because it seems like the norm for our society? For those who have never tried to peruse a relationship, don't you think if your REALLY wanted one you would of tried by now? I think a lot of us, including me, may be confused about what we want. We beat ourselves up because we see everyone else with someone and we think that should be us as well, but is that what you REALLY want?


----------



## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

no. not now, not for a long while yet, I think.


----------



## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Yes, that is what I really want. Not everyone has the choice to "try" a relationship. Some of us, or maybe just me, repel all of humanity.


----------



## GnR (Sep 25, 2009)

I wouldn't be ready for a while, but eventually I absolutely want a relationship. I'm not exactly a casual sex guy either.


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

Yep. But more specifically, I want a relationship with someone that I actually like.


----------



## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

Can I change my mind? I'm easy to please. This is all I ask for in a man:

aged 18 to 21, blond, 4ft 12inch to 5ft,large moobs, great personality, witty, good cook, cleaner with child bearing hips, and great at ironing.

Please, don't all rush the door at once.


----------



## IHeartSteveMcQueen (May 30, 2009)

no, I just wanna tap that ****.


----------



## mike80 (Jan 9, 2010)

I would like to settle down, get married and have kids with a girl that is slightly more outgoing than I am. One that would occassionally take the piss out of me to take the edge off.


----------



## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

yeah i do actually, especially the comfort of a relationship, unconditional love, a best friend, that kind of thing


----------



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

Im thirsty for a relationship.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

1applehearts1 said:


> yeah i do actually, especially the comfort of a relationship, unconditional love, a best friend, that kind of thing


yeah, I guess that is what I want too:roll


----------



## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

A relationship is not what I want or what I am looking for. If anyone could look past me and genuinely fall for the person inside I would be surprised. So I am pretty safe to stay single for as long as I want. Sad thing is that I know what I want, it just isnt possible


----------



## 1applehearts1 (Jan 7, 2010)

I want the physical closeness almost more than the relationship itself...O_O


----------



## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

I think what I want is an _idealized relationship_. As in a sex slave that will be at my beck and call and leave me the hell alone when I'm tired. Dealing with people is an expenditure of energy. I want all the goodies without the hard work. Until I'm able to look at women as something more than an accessory to drag out of the closet for a romp, I'll keep to myself.


----------



## SOME (Jul 13, 2009)

Yes, I want to hold a girl's hand.


----------



## userabuser (Jan 21, 2010)

IHeartSteveMcQueen said:


> no, I just wanna tap that ****.


yup.


----------



## QuackQuack (Mar 18, 2008)

GnR said:


> I wouldn't be ready for a while, but eventually I absolutely want a relationship. I'm not exactly a casual sex guy either.


Those aren't the only two options, you know. You can mix and match relationships in any way that suits you (and, hopefully, in a way that suits the other people involved).



drealm said:


> I think what I want is an _idealized relationship_. As in a sex slave that will be at my beck and call and leave me the hell alone when I'm tired. Dealing with people is an expenditure of energy. I want all the goodies without the hard work. Until I'm able to look at women as something more than an accessory to drag out of the closet for a romp, I'll keep to myself.


Yeesh. That's your ideal? A bit creepy.

I guess mine's not that much better, though. Instead of a sex slave, I guess I want an emotional slave. Someone to live with and cuddle with all the time, to share every moment of my life with. A bit monopolistic.


----------



## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

QuackQuack said:


> Yeesh. That's your ideal? A bit creepy.
> 
> I guess mine's not that much better, though. Instead of a sex slave, I guess I want an emotional slave. Someone to live with and cuddle with all the time, to share every moment of my life with. A bit monopolistic.


You said it better than I could... _"emotional slave"._


----------



## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

drealm said:


> I think what I want is an _idealized relationship_. As in a sex slave that will be at my beck and call and leave me the hell alone when I'm tired. Dealing with people is an expenditure of energy. I want all the goodies without the hard work. Until I'm able to look at women as something more than an accessory to drag out of the closet for a romp, I'll keep to myself.


That pretty much sums it up for me as well.


----------



## markx (Dec 22, 2007)

leonardess said:


> Can I change my mind? I'm easy to please. This is all I ask for in a man:
> 
> aged 18 to 21, blond, 4ft 12inch to 5ft,large moobs, great personality, witty, good cook, cleaner with child bearing hips, and great at ironing.
> 
> Please, don't all rush the door at once.


:um

http://img534.imageshack.us/img534/6498/weejimmyi.jpghttp://img694.imageshack.us/img694/1636/weejimmyo.jpg


----------



## ericastooge (May 20, 2009)

When I see that I'm able to make money with my dream, then I will want to be in a relationship. I wouldn't date any guy if I wasn't serious and right now I can't date anyone, which is a little hard, but it is for the best.


----------



## RUFB2327 (Sep 28, 2008)

I havent been in one for about 5 years(my only one actually)...going into college I said I didn't want one so I could do my own thing while not being tied down, which the more I think about it, the more I think not being tied down was some sort of BS excuse because of my inability to actually to go on dates or just get to know any girl to the point where there could be some sort of relationship

Recently though, I've really wanted a relationship...I dont see anything happening though anytime soon, unfortunately


----------



## whiterabbit (Jan 20, 2006)

Yeah, a relationship is definitely something I would like, but I'm not looking for one nor have I ever been. It's out of the question, really. My more realistic aspiration is to make at least one friend. I don't think society's norms have much to do with me desiring some kind of companionship. I just get lonely. Therefore I want.


----------



## ryobi (Jan 13, 2009)

I would rather not be in one, than be in a bad one...

but it would be nice


----------



## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

Definitely. I'd love to be able to share my life with someone. Unfortunately it's in shambles atm and looking like it'll be that way for a while more, so....yeah. I want one, just not until I'm ready again, whenever that'll be.


----------



## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

drealm said:


> I think what I want is an _idealized relationship_. As in a sex slave that will be at my beck and call and leave me the hell alone when I'm tired. Dealing with people is an expenditure of energy. I want all the goodies without the hard work. Until I'm able to look at women as something more than an accessory to drag out of the closet for a romp, I'll keep to myself.


change women to men and what you said would be along the lines of what i'd say.


----------



## broseph (Jan 18, 2010)

Definitely. I think it'd help me so much. I really need someone I can be honest with and talk to. I wouldn't even mind that much if there was no sex involved.


----------



## CrystalMaid (Feb 22, 2010)

*Do I want to be in a relationship?*

Do I want to be loved? 
Do I want to be cherished? 
Do I want to feel that life has meaning because I am loved?
Do I want honesty and trust?
Do I want the joy of closeness that touches my soul?
Do I want affection?
Do I want attention?
Do I want intimacy - the kind I can only give myself to with real love?
Do I want someone who knows me like no other?
Do I want special treatment?
Do I want someone who'll never leave me?
Do I want to be someone's happiness and delight?
Do I want to be liked?
Do I want fun?
Do I want to feel safe?
Do I want to feel someone has my back?
Do I want to connect?

Yes.

Do I want to be criticised?
Do I want to be rejected?
Do I want to be cheated on?
Do I want to feel afraid I'm not enough?
Do I want to feel clingy?
Do I want to fear I can't tell who/what's me and not me?
Do I want to struggle with boundaries?
Do I want to be seen as critical?
Do I want to be pushed away suddenly?
Do I want to feel separation anxiety - ALL the time?
Do I want to be seen as clingy?
Do I want to be seen as insensitive or inconsiderate?
Do I want to feel ashamed that my background's not more like others?
Do I want to be afraid of strong emotions?
Do I want to constantly fear abandonment?
Do I want to watch someone become alienated by anxiety?
Do I want to feel frustrated by my fears?
Do I want to become increasingly afraid the longer someone knows me?
Do I want to be cut down?
Do I want to become and be seen as controlling?
Do I want to be controlled?
Do I want to face someone's anger, be affected by his moods?
Do I want to experience someone becoming frustrated with me?
Do I want to be used?
Do I want to see just what else is wrong with me?
Do I want to lose another person I love?

No.

Do I want a relationship? - More than anything ever. Love is my Meaning of life. Without it, life feels meaningless.


----------



## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

I am currently seeing someone but taking it slowly. Since around age 30, I have developed more of an identity and can envision what I might want. Until very recently, I did not really think about desiring relationships. 

My current situation has revealed I am always the one in a relationship being taken care of, due to special needs; it would suit me far more to be able to take care of someone else in a similar way. This could be one reason I cannot bond properly with those who like me; they want to be my carer and there is no room left for me to give. They are often stable individuals with good support networks. They simply have no need for me to give in that way but I need to.


----------



## mserychic (Oct 2, 2004)

i really, really do. someone to share my life with, hold me when i'm sad. experience that love thing. i can usually squash down these feelings, but i've been really hung up on this the past 2 weeks. it's completely ridiculous that i let myself get sad about something that will never happen.


----------



## CrystalMaid (Feb 22, 2010)

Craving special treatment has been one of my most selfish weaknesses. Came to the same conclusion - it's time to stop fearing being used and controlled again, and trust enough to show the helpful and generous side which I've suppressed so long. It doesn't protect me, it just isolates me and seems like bad character, not caring for others. And reciprocating is good for self-esteem.

That's why I joined a volunteer program after a recent devastating breakup. It's time to start giving more, and also - connecting with others. Maybe if I'm in the giving role it will lessen my deep fear of people and of them somehow decimating my tenuous sense of self.


----------



## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

CrystalMaid said:


> Sounds like your relationships will be off to a wonderful start with that approach.


I've always had that approach; always been very open and naive in giving. But the people I end up in relationships with have either 1. rejected my affection and desire to give, or 2. had little to no need for it and wanted to be the one doing all the giving.

The latter characterises the current person I am seeing. I have attempted to give and to get them to share their vulnerabilities (although they do not have many). She has said she doesn't need anything from me except for me to be happy and wants to be the main giver. I feel suffocated when I have nothing to give and very autistic because I am not able to reach out and bond with her in the only way I know how to bond with others.


----------



## eileenAKAmommy (Jul 7, 2009)

No. I am not an emotional person, I don't do good with relationships, but here I am almost 7 years in one.


----------



## creep (Jan 29, 2009)

Oh, relationships are great. Relationships are also absolutely horrible. Even the good ones. I can't imagine why anybody would want one just for the sake of having one.


----------



## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

No. I just don't see the point. It seems rather hollow and meaningless to me.


----------



## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

leonardess said:


> Can I change my mind? I'm easy to please. This is all I ask for in a man:
> 
> aged 18 to 21, blond, 4ft 12inch to 5ft,large *moobs*, great personality, witty, good cook, cleaner with child bearing hips, and great at ironing.
> 
> Please, don't all rush the door at once.


I have large moobies... just not the rest.


----------



## bowlingpins (Oct 18, 2008)

Yeah, it would be nice to be in a relationship but this is not at the top of my list of priorities right now.


----------



## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

Also, I have come to realize that I am WAY too socially inept to have a girlfriend. :sigh


----------



## shygirl14 (May 23, 2009)

I can't say right now that is what I would want. Sure I think about it. Who doesn't? But with my shyness and anxiety it's hard to find capability with the opposite sex, most of that turns men off instantly.
I long for the attention from a man, not the intimacy part but the calling you up, or just wanted to say hello or hey I am picking you up and taking you to a movie. That doesn't exist in my world.


----------



## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

I want to be with someone i like and get on with. I don't just want to go out with a person for the sake of not being single though, there has to be something there. If you are single then you need lots of friends to make up for it, otherwise life becomes very depressing in my experiences.


----------



## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

you know, I've been pondering this very thing a lot lately. I wonder, is it that we think we're _supposed _to have them? How much are we actually trained by society, media, etc to think that this is what we're supposed to do, or have, to be considered a success?

How many people spend time examining their true nature and then deciding if this is what they actually want or need?

How often do we see a relationship as the whole sentence of our lives, instead of maybe the period at the end of the sentence?

I get lonely too, everyone does, but I do wonder how much this can make people rush headlong into relationships they or the other person simply aren't ready for, or right for. support can be found in plenty of other ways.

there are other, often more important things that need to be done in one's life.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

leonardess said:


> you know, I've been pondering this very thing a lot lately. I wonder, is it that we think we're _supposed _to have them? How much are we actually trained by society, media, etc to think that this is what we're supposed to do, or have, to be considered a success?
> 
> How many people spend time examining their true nature and then deciding if this is what they actually want or need?
> 
> ...


What if you feel you've done or in the process of doing all those things in life and all you want/need now is a relationship? That is kind of how I feel. I used to wonder why people were in relationships, and it took me a while to find out what positives can come from it. I think once I discovered that, then I really put my focus on it. Sure, being single is good but being with someone adds another dimension/complexity to life that can't really be done alone. Right now, I'm bored and lonely so it sounds good to find someone. I get in transition phases a lot but I think ultimately I would prefer it. I guess it comes down to which side of the coin do you like more? Each side has benefits as well as setbacks-which would you rather have kind of deal...


----------



## firedancer (Nov 14, 2003)

shygirl14 said:


> I can't say right now that is what I would want. Sure I think about it. Who doesn't? But with my shyness and anxiety it's hard to find capability with the opposite sex, most of that turns men off instantly.
> I long for the attention from a man, not the intimacy part but the calling you up, or just wanted to say hello or hey I am picking you up and taking you to a movie. That doesn't exist in my world.


:yes

does not exist in my world either. i got out of a long term relationship about a year and a half ago. and the thought of intimacy with someone new, no matter how much i would love for it to happen, scares the hell out of me.


----------



## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

leonardess said:


> you know, I've been pondering this very thing a lot lately. I wonder, is it that we think we're _supposed _to have them? How much are we actually trained by society, media, etc to think that this is what we're supposed to do, or have, to be considered a success?
> 
> How many people spend time examining their true nature and then deciding if this is what they actually want or need?
> 
> ...


You ever think that the only reason we like girls is cuz we're _supposed_ to?


----------



## MindOverMood (Dec 12, 2009)

Yes I do, but at the same time I don't think I could handle it all.


----------



## Roberto (Aug 16, 2004)

I'd take a good friend over a romantic relationship. I don't have the energy or patience for that **** anymore. I don't want to go through all of that again. It'd be nice to get laid once in a while but i don't want it outside of a relationship. I want somebody to love, but I don't. I'm ****ed.


----------



## mrbojangles (Oct 8, 2009)

Roberto said:


> I'd take a good friend over a romantic relationship. I don't have the energy or patience for that **** anymore. I don't want to go through all of that again. It'd be nice to get laid once in a while but i don't want it outside of a relationship. I want somebody to love, but I don't. I'm ****ed.


yeah i feel the same way, even though i want a relationship so badly, i just dont feel that im ready even at 23. i dont think i could handle the stress of having a girlfriend. constantly having to take her places, make conversation, pretending im something im not.


----------



## CrystalMaid (Feb 22, 2010)

*Friends help relationships stay magical*



andy0128 said:


> I want to be with someone i like and get on with. I don't just want to go out with a person for the sake of not being single though, there has to be something there. If you are single then you need lots of friends to make up for it, otherwise life becomes very depressing in my experiences.


If you're in a relationship, you need friends more than ever!

It'd been my way, in the past, to become utterly absorbed in the person I loved. Start doing everything together, talk to that one person way more than others. And after a while, the anxiety of whether he'd keep liking me once he 'got to know me', along with the dependency and immersion, well, I'd have a sort of existential terror and lose my self (whatever that is). That, in turn, is unattractive and smothering.

Having (close) friends, on the other hand, would mean others to talk to about deep stuff, and support when things aren't rosy, or even when they are. And a life of one's own - which, after all, is intrinsic to the initial attraction... Being 'you'.

That said, I don't really have friends, but I'd really like to. Or like to truly want to (if the fear of people can be surmounted). In the meantime, mates I chat to on MSN fill that role. With folks from here, maybe I don't get a bit much.

Love is the meaning of life. To me. Followed second by friends.

Wish I can have and keep both.


----------



## Matomato (Jan 21, 2010)

Yeah, I've honestly never had any real, burning desire to be in a relationship, nor do I feel any emptiness when I'm not in one. I've had a few, and I think they were mainly a result of me confusing comfort for something more, just because I so RARELY feel comfortable around anyone, let alone intimately. I just need SO much space that I think most people just take it as disinterest...but at the same time, I can be very needy in certain instances, too, I guess. 


But I do like to spoooon! So I guess I'll need to suck it up at some point or get a heated extra-long body pillow to be big spoon. Or little spoon. I don't discriminate.


----------



## CrystalMaid (Feb 22, 2010)

Matomato said:


> Yeah, I've honestly never had any real, burning desire to be in a relationship, nor do I feel any emptiness when I'm not in one. I've had a few, and I think they were mainly a result of me confusing comfort for something more, just because I so RARELY feel comfortable around anyone, let alone intimately. I just need SO much space that I think most people just take it as disinterest...but at the same time, I can be very needy in certain instances, too, I guess.
> 
> But I do like to spoooon! So I guess I'll need to suck it up at some point or get a heated extra-long body pillow to be big spoon. Or little spoon. I don't discriminate.


What is Space?

Why do people want it?

Really would like to understand that, in detail. Because I simply can't relate. Closeness is addictive for me.

Gonna post a thread about Space.
Watch that space.


----------



## Matomato (Jan 21, 2010)

CrystalMaid said:


> What is Space?
> 
> Why do people want it?
> 
> ...


Haha I'd rather be that way, I think. I just find myself feeling reaaally anxious if I'm around other people for too long, especially in unfamiliar places...I get this overwhelming urge to just bolt. I guess people can really clearly read this in my mannerisms/tone, because usually people just laugh and tell me I don't have to stick around, then I just feel guilty. I also get really uncomfortable about actual physical space. I hate sitting really close to people, especially if I'm near their face...I get really insecure that my breath may smells bad or that I'm breathing loudly. Sometimes I tense up, so I have to consciously remind myself to loosen up...on top of holding my breath and tilting my head away. So while they're trying to make conversation, I have to figure out what to say...and then how to say it without breathing, turning my face toward them, or dying from a lack of oxygen.

WhHhhyhHYh doESntnT NeBuDdY lYke Me? Haha  jk, I realize that made me sound like a freak.

I also just don't find many people I can connect with, conversationally, for any great deal of time. I hate small talk.


----------



## thepartner (Feb 25, 2010)

I am the girlfriend of a guy with SA. I just wish he would understand that I am not looking at all the little details of him. Like if he breathes too loud or if he didn't do the exact right thing etc. I just find that he focuses so much on himself. He is so self conscious.

I love him so much but he sends so many mixed messages it gets me confused. Does he want this relationship or is he pushing me away. If I pull back he doesn't like it but doesn't seem to want to move forward either.


----------



## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

CrystalMaid said:


> If you're in a relationship, you need friends more than ever!
> 
> It'd been my way, in the past, to become utterly absorbed in the person I loved. Start doing everything together, talk to that one person way more than others. And after a while, the anxiety of whether he'd keep liking me once he 'got to know me', along with the dependency and immersion, well, I'd have a sort of existential terror and lose my self (whatever that is). That, in turn, is unattractive and smothering.


I'm probably the same in many ways. I only have time for a few close friends at any one time. I have one close friend that i meet up with occasionally and i chat to a few people online or in forums, but i have spent the majority of time with my girlfriend since meeting her. The longer it has gone on though she seems to want to talk to me less and less and now i feel it could be about to end. I have probably made a mistake, in that i shouldve tried to cultivate a social life, something to fall back on when things don't work out.


----------



## Matomato (Jan 21, 2010)

andy0128 said:


> I'm probably the same in many ways. I only have time for a few close friends at any one time. I have one close friend that i meet up with occasionally and i chat to a few people online or in forums, but i have spent the majority of time with my girlfriend since meeting her. The longer it has gone on though she seems to want to talk to me less and less and now i feel it could be about to end. I have probably made a mistake, in that i shouldve tried to cultivate a social life, something to fall back on when things don't work out.


Yeah I did the same thing. But, that was also at a point when I realized a lot of my friends were only interested in partying/social climbing. Sometimes I'm really blind to these things. It's really disconcerting telling your close friends really confidential things and later realizing they didn't have a problem revealing this info to many other people.

I don't know...I also have a REALLY hard time balancing my time between people. I think this is because social interaction in general drains me so much, on top of the fact that I'm perpetually struggling to get my work/errands done, etc. I'm just REALLY awful at planning things, and when I had loads of friends, I felt really unsatisfied...I hate having casual friends. It's like, we meet up and it basically amounts to them gossiping in my mind. Or comparing what everyone's up to (ie how successful they are). Then again, I guess few people want to meet up and talk about social justice or the shortcomings of the mental health system. Haha


----------



## EmWhy (Apr 4, 2012)

I like your post a lot because I think that in my case, anyway, I want a better goal. People are unpredictable and I think that Einstein (or somebody awesome) said that if you wanna live a happy life, don't aim your goals around people or objects. Something like that, anyway. Ha. /insiiiight


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

wow, this thread is old


----------



## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

I really do want one, I was in denial for a while because I've never been able to find someone who likes me. When I was younger no I didn't care, I liked guys but it wasn't a priority in the leasts. I've always been slightly overweight (now I'm obses) and I have always been shy when it comes to guys. I want some lovin... its something I am actually loath to admit I pretend to everyone else that I am perfectly happy living the single life. 

As I've gotten older I've progressively lowered my standards, as a function of wanting a relationship, but unfortunately no one out there meets the base criteria of wanting to be with me. 

I mean I'll be okay, but it does make me sad. I just refuse to let it pervade all my thoughts because then I'd be a ball of tears all the time and that is no way to live life and definitely not a way to attract a partner.

Yeah its definitely not about wanting to show it off, I want someone to hold and hug me. Someone to talk to, to do things with, someone yes to have sex with, and if I'm really honest with myself I want children even though at this point that is not a realistic wish...


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

A few months ago I would have welcomed meeting the right person but my attitude has changed a lot since then. With 50% of marriages ending in divorce and probably another third of those having infidelity, I want to take my time making the right decision so none of that stuff happens. I see no point in getting into a relationship if I don't see forever potential with that person, so I have no reason not to be picky and take my time and just focus on myself for a while while casually dating. 26 is still very young, and I'm not going to rush into such an incredibly important decision. So there! ;p


----------



## NeveS (Sep 3, 2011)

Nope. I want a kick-*** social circle.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

When someone knocks my socks off it will be hard for me to not want a relationship with them even if i dont plan for it. It's an instinctual gut feeling when you know that person is right for you and the feeling is strong and powerful so i would want to give in. Until then, i havent even come close to experiencing dating to the point where i feel ive done enough, but i know im suspect to want one with a bomb-*** girl. I actually see myself dating until that happens, and i also think that will be how my relationships will start, with the intention of dating lots of girls until i am pulled to one. It happened once and i know it will happen again. If you are a bomb girl then it'll be hard to resist


----------



## vinylman (Apr 22, 2012)

i want a relationship but i can't talk to anyone to even begin, plus i know that no girl is gonna want a loser like me, and trying a relationship would just hurt me when the girls reject me. i'm safe shut off from the world.


----------



## hydinthebasmnt (Aug 26, 2012)

I've been thinking about this a lot. I am not so sure if I want one. If I become emotionally attached to someone and the inevitable happens, then I won't be able to handle the pain of rejection. My self esteem is already pretty low, getting dumped would crush me. I tend to dwell on my faults and my mistakes, I would probably want to crawl in my hole and die.


----------



## sas111 (Oct 20, 2010)

I got no idea..I don't want anything out of this life really. I mean, when I give it more thought, It's not worth it, so many better options & I can easily be replacable, so why bother.


----------



## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

Not at all. I just want someone to hang out with once and a while. I don't want any seriousness or emotional vulnerability or any of that jazz, I hate that stuff. I just want someone to do stuff with and chill with every so often.


----------



## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

For me its like I put in another thread.

In previous years it was the main thing I wanted in life... A decent relationship, settle down, have a family, and be happy. In theory though a lot of it was fairy tale.

I seemed to jump into relationships too quickly in the past and had lower standards I guess. Instead of focusing on myself and the friends I had at the time, I grew up too quick, wanted to settle down and lost the few friends I had because I was too busy being in relationships.

Now my standards are higher after I did a lot of realising, but relationships now seem like too much effort, and half the time the girl your with may realise she wants to be single (usual cowards excuse) or may screw you over,

So now I dont want a relationship as much as I previously wanted 1, I cant be bothered wasting time finding someone I really want to be with, dating, putting in loads of effort, then being screwed over at a later date and left to feel the worst feelings possible.

If its someone who I'm meant to be with then she can put in the effort, she can be the 1 to find me, drop hints and ask me on a date... Then maybe I will know shes worth it and perhaps find the need to put in some effort back


----------



## mattigummi (Aug 26, 2012)

I really want a relationship with my crush.


----------



## vanishingpt (Mar 9, 2012)

If I found the right person I would definitely want to be in a relationship. I agree though that the norm in society is to be in a relationship and that most people generally don't want to be single... but to be honest, I never hated being single. I was always fine independently and never needed a boyfriend to make myself feel "worthy" or anything like that.

I think being able to rely and depend on yourself is important... but otherwise, if I found the person, I'd definitely dedicate spending more time getting to know them, understand them, and being with them. Sometimes other people can bring out better parts of you and that's never a bad thing.


----------



## John316C (May 1, 2011)

i want to be shown love. i want to be wanted. i want someone reliable. i want to share happiness. thats why i want a romantic relationship!


----------



## identitycrisis (Sep 18, 2011)

I think I've reached a point where I could be a really good partner for some lucky lady. Maybe I'm not the smartest, or the coolest, or the handsomest guy out there, but I've finally come to terms with who I am, and I think I could bring a lot to a relationship.

Perhaps because I now think about this in terms of what I can do for someone else, instead of what someone else could do for me, means I'm ready to finally start something worthwhile.


----------



## jayjaythejetplane (May 13, 2011)

Barette said:


> Not at all. I just want someone to hang out with once and a while. I don't want any seriousness or emotional vulnerability or any of that jazz, I hate that stuff. I just want someone to do stuff with and chill with every so often.


This.


----------



## solitarysiren (Jun 21, 2012)

No. Right now, I'm still getting over a relationship. Now is a bad time. I've also had a lot of difficulties with relationships in the past, so I'm taking a break to reevaluate things. I don't want to keep having the same problems over and over again.


----------



## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

Its funny reading this thread: people will deny wanting what they want when they feel they cannot get it. People will reject what theyve never had once they resign the possibility of getting it.


----------



## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

87wayz said:


> Its funny reading this thread: people will deny wanting what they want when they feel they cannot get it. People will reject what theyve never had once they resign the possibility of getting it.


lol, what do you expect? I think it's natural to reject something that is rejecting you. It's not natural to be rejected and hold out hope that you will be accepted(that's torture), eventually you'll turn your back on something that has turned it's back on you.


----------



## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

Yes. I'm just afraid I don't have much to offer a potential partner.


----------



## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

theseventhkey said:


> lol, what do you expect? I think it's natural to reject something that is rejecting you. It's not natural to be rejected and hold out hope that you will be accepted(that's torture), eventually you'll turn your back on something that has turned it's back on you.


No, I agree, its just really plain to see here. Alot of things that are obvious look funny on paper


----------



## River In The Mountain (Jun 6, 2011)

It's not something I am actively seeking but I would want one, yeah. Well, I want the thrill that comes with the beginning of a relationship, not the complications that go with one. I don't think I could make another relationship last past a month or two without inevitable issues cropping up and ruining things. I am bad at communicating my emotions, I go through times where I feel trapped/afraid/not good enough and unless there is a guy who will stick around for that,(I wouldn't blame him if he didn't) then I don't see myself being in a relationship for a very long time.
This may sound weak, but I think I want somebody who will fight for a relationship, or me even. I don't mean I want to be hard to get, or I think men should do all the chasing to prove their worth, I just mean I would want to be with a person who is willing to risk their pride and go for something. It's a selfish thing to ask of somebody since I would probably be the last person to make my feelings clear to someone. One of my exes was a fan of mind games where I would be 'frozen out' any time I had self doubts, or felt low. I only wanted to know he would be there for me if I felt bad while I tried to sort things in my head but instead he would just turn the cold shoulder and wait until I 'got over' myself which in turn just made me feel worse and less trustful and ultimately, less attached. It left me really wary of opening up in a relationship or even getting into another one.


----------



## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

In general no.

If I meet the right person, yeah, definitely, but I don't want a relationship in a vague, general sense.


----------

