# Would it bother you if your partner had much more sexual experience than you?



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

^^^^

If yes, how many partners is too many? Or how many whatever is too many?

similar thread:

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f40/importance-of-sexual-experience-129614/


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Good question komorikun. When I was a virgin, it mattered. But now, I could care less, as long as her number isn't past 7 and isn't diseased.


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## RawrJessiRawr (Nov 3, 2010)

It kinda bothered me at first but since it wasn't with more than three people then I figured that wasn't something to feel that bothered from. But if it was with way more people then it would bother me.


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## fingertips (Jan 11, 2009)

BobtheSaint said:


> as long as her number isn't past 7


that's um, arbitrary.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

Yes, it would bother me and it has. I was a virgin when me and my boyfriend did it, and he wasn't. And he'd done things with other girls whilst we were on a break too. And since he doesn't seem like he ever wants to break up yet, it seems like I'm not going to have anymore sexual experience in my liiife~ so yeah, I'm jealous xD


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

He didn't have more experience than I did, but it did bother me a bit that he had sexual experiences. It doesn't really bother me anymore since it's not fair to him that I felt that way as I had more sexual experiences than he had.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

It wouldn't bother me at all. I'd prefer a more experienced partner.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

BobtheSaint:1059681698 said:


> Good question komorikun. When I was a virgin, it mattered. But now, I could care less, as long as her number isn't past 7 and isn't diseased.


Sounds like you care.

Personally, everyone I've been with so far had more experience than me and I still laid it down like a champ. I was upset when my ex told me she had slept with 15 guys but now I just don't give a **** anymore. Worrying about that **** just brings up jealousy and other ugly feelings that will ruin a relationship.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

rymo said:


> Sounds like you care.
> 
> Personally, everyone I've been with so far had more experience than me and I still laid it down like a champ. I was upset when my ex told me she had slept with 15 guys but now I just don't give a **** anymore. Worrying about that **** just brings up jealousy and other ugly feelings that will ruin a relationship.


Very true. Unfortunately it can be very easy to let yourself get jealous.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

rymo said:


> Sounds like you care.
> 
> Personally, everyone I've been with so far had more experience than me and I still laid it down like a champ. I was upset when my ex told me she had slept with 15 guys but now I just don't give a **** anymore. Worrying about that **** just brings up jealousy and other ugly feelings that will ruin a relationship.


Maybe I did contradict myself a bit. If her number was that high, I'd be really jealous because I want to "even the score."


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

BobtheSaint said:


> Maybe I did contradict myself a bit. If her number was that high, I'd be really jealous because I want to "even the score."


Which is understandable.


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## talisman (Aug 5, 2005)

It would bother me but there's not much you can do about it. I don't think I can afford to turn down someone because they're more experienced.


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## Daft (Jan 5, 2012)

Nah. However, if they were my age and the number of past sexual partners was really high (10+), I'd be concerned about how many of those were deliberate experimenting, how many were quickie relationships, and how many were committed relationships, then depending on that answer whether or not they were ready for something long-term with me.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

talisman said:


> I don't think I can afford to turn down someone because they're more experienced.


This is what it comes down to.


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## identitycrisis (Sep 18, 2011)

I wouldn't refuse to date the person based solely off of having much more experience than me, but it would bother me, yes. Not as much in the "she's a ****" line of thinking, more that my lack of experience would make me feel - irrationally - very inferior.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

identitycrisis said:


> I wouldn't refuse to date the person based solely off of having much more experience than me, but it would bother me, yes. Not as much in the "she's a ****" line of thinking, more that my lack of experience would make me feel - irrationally - very inferior.


The funny thing is, I've rarely ever heard of a guy referring to a woman as a ****--it's always their fellow women calling them that.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

I'd consider all that experience by itself a bonus.


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## Soton (Dec 17, 2011)

Some things in life cause issues (e.g. your partner cheating). Everything else is only an issue if you allow it to be (e.g. your partners 'number')

It's how I live things, and so far has seen me though ok...


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## Brenee (Feb 4, 2012)

Not at all.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

Well I'm already married, but...

Yeah it would bother me if he had more experience than me. I will admit I dated a guy who had sex once in his life and that turned me off; I wouldn't have sex with him and we just kinda fizzled although we do remain friends. 

My husband and I were virgins when we got married, and before anyone says that must have been awkward, it really wasn't. We finally crashed after about five hours.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

I was with a much more experienced woman recently and I rocked her world. I'm not intimidated by experienced women. I'm cougar-friendly too.

I really don't mind being with a woman who is more experienced. So as long as she doesn't give me a STD (I wear condoms but condoms don't protect fully against HPV and herpes. During coitus, there is some skin-to-skin contact and for HPV and herpes to transmit, all you need is skin-to-skin. And oral sex is completely unprotected.) That goes for any woman basically though. An inexperienced person can carry an STD too. It just takes one time...


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

phoenixwright said:


> I was with a much more experienced woman recently and I rocked her world. I'm not intimidated by experienced women.
> 
> I really don't mind being with a woman who is more experienced. So as long as she doesn't give me a STD (I wear condoms but condoms don't protect fully against HPV and herpes. During coitus, there is some skin-to-skin contact and for HPV and herpes to transmit, all you need is skin-to-skin. And oral sex is completely unprotected.) That goes for any woman basically though. An inexperienced person can carry an STD too. It just takes one time...


Yeah, you can get a variety of stuff from oral sex. Can even get herpes on your crotch if your partner has oral herpes (cold sores).

http://www.sfcityclinic.org/stdbasics/stdchart.asp



> STDs
> Chlamydia, human papillomavirus (HPV), gonorrhea, herpes, hepatitis (multiple strains), and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)-including HIV-can be transmitted through oral sex.[19] While the exact risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex is unknown, it is generally thought to be lower than other sex practices.[20] The risks from most of these types of infections are generally considered far less than those associated with vaginal or anal sex.[2][3][4]
> 
> If the receiving partner has wounds or open sores on their genitals, or if the giving partner has wounds or open sores on or in their mouth, or bleeding gums, this poses an increased risk of STD transmission. Brushing the teeth, flossing, undergoing dental work, or eating crunchy foods such as chips relatively soon before or after giving oral sex can also increase the risk of transmission, because all of these activities can cause small scratches in the lining of the mouth. These wounds, even when they are microscopic, increase the chances of contracting STDs that can be transmitted orally under these conditions. Such contact can also lead to more mundane infections from common bacteria and viruses found in, around, and secreted from the genital regions.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

komorikun said:


> Yeah, you can get a variety of stuff from oral sex. Can even get herpes on your crotch if your partner has oral herpes (cold sores).
> 
> http://www.sfcityclinic.org/stdbasics/stdchart.asp


Yeah that's what kinda pisses me off. I like oral sex (including giving!). But it's like freakin Russian Roulette every time you do it with someone new because it's unprotected. Who the hell gets fellatio while using a condom or performs cunnilingus with a dental dam or some other barrier?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Why are we getting so many more guys responding to this thread? I'm talking about the poll. So far 20 women and 37 men have taken the poll.


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## Bethy (Jun 23, 2011)

I'm a girl so I'll respond. 

I would be lying if I said it wouldn't bother me. Because yeah I think depending on the situation and the type of guy he is, knowing that he had 10+ sexual partners would make me worry some if he could be faithful or not. (I'm not saying that guys who have had a lot of partners are cheating a-holes, that's just my insecurity) 

But there is also a part of me that doesn't want to let something like that bother me, especially if that's in the past and the guy is faithful. I know that my ex, who was a virgin when we first started dating would get mad at me for NOT being a virgin. Yeah, like I purposely went out and had sex before knowing him JUST to piss him off 2 years later when I met hm. 

So my final answer is if the guy has no stds, isn't a cheating jerkwad and would be content only being with me- Then no, I guess it wouldn't bother me...... THAT much......

*edit* The only reason it would bother me is because I would feel like maybe I wouldn't be as "good" as the other girls he had been with, since I wouldn't have as much experience. There. I'm done. lol


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

No. I prefer that, actually.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I think many guys would want to be the only guy a woman has been with, but it's perfectly understandable if she had previous partners.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

srschirm said:


> I think many guys would want to be the only guy a woman has been with, but it's perfectly understandable if she had previous partners.


Can you tell me why many men want to be the only partner?


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Double Indemnity:1059685580 said:


> srschirm said:
> 
> 
> > I think many guys would want to be the only guy a woman has been with, but it's perfectly understandable if she had previous partners.
> ...


Jealousy, insecurity. Every guy wants a girl who is totally innocent and has never been with another guy (because the thought of that drives most guys crazy...not in a good way) but yet is still wild in bed. It's not really a rational thing, but certainly the less guys a girl has slept with the better it makes the guy feel. Total insecurity thing tho. When my ex revealed to me how many guys she had slept with, I almost flipped. But I learned that it doesn't really matter in the end, that those emotions were irrational, and letting them get to you is a shortcut to a bad end to the relationship.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

rymo said:


> Jealousy, insecurity. Every guy wants a girl who is totally innocent and has never been with another guy (because the thought of that drives most guys crazy...not in a good way) but yet is still wild in bed. It's not really a rational thing, but certainly the less guys a girl has slept with the better it makes the guy feel. Total insecurity thing tho. When my ex revealed to me how many guys she had slept with, I almost flipped. But I learned that it doesn't really matter in the end, that those emotions were irrational, and letting them get to you is a shortcut to a bad end to the relationship.


Yep, exactly right, I couldn't have said it any better.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

Yeah, that's what I figured but thanks for answering. I really don't know what to say except that most guys will have a difficult time finding that.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Yeah we realize that.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Double Indemnity said:


> Yeah, that's what I figured but thanks for answering. I really don't know what to say except that most guys will have a difficult time finding that.


I doubt most guys expect or even want that to be honest.
As you approach 30, the relevant question is no longer how many they've been with, but how many kids they have :um
Though while I don't want to know the former, I'd probably want to know the latter :lol
But even there you'll probably have to realise that you can't demand to be the first..


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

rymo said:


> Jealousy, insecurity. Every guy wants a girl who is totally innocent and has never been with another guy (because the thought of that drives most guys crazy...not in a good way) but yet is still wild in bed. It's not really a rational thing, but certainly the less guys a girl has slept with the better it makes the guy feel. Total insecurity thing tho. When my ex revealed to me how many guys she had slept with, I almost flipped. But I learned that it doesn't really matter in the end, that those emotions were irrational, and letting them get to you is a shortcut to a bad end to the relationship.


To me, it's not an insecurity issue. I just care more about my health, which is why I'd rather keep my number low. Too many many diseases out there to make a gamble with someone whose number is high. STD rates down here in the southern states really suck. :doh


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

BobtheSaint:1059685897 said:


> to me, it's not an insecurity issue. I just care more about my health, which is why I'd rather keep my number low. Too many many diseases out there to make a gamble with someone whose number is high. STD rates down here in the southern states really suck. :doh


Well 7 isn't really very high, number one. And number two, if you're with someone who you really like and want to be with and you find out they have had a high number, all you would have to do is tell them to get tested.


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## Syndacus (Aug 9, 2011)

That sense of ego when she tells you that her first 15 before you came sucked, and that you laid it down like a pro...until she comes across another guy thats better than you.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Syndacus:1059685980 said:


> That sense of ego when she tells you that her first 15 before you came sucked, and that you laid it down like a pro...until she comes across another guy thats better than you.


Out of sight, out of mind.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Syndacus said:


> That sense of ego when she tells you that her first 15 before you came sucked, and that you laid it down like a pro...


That's the kind of mindset you have to go into it with (no pun intended).


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

Only if I loved her. Honestly, if she's been with more than four or five guys, I don't think I'd be able to maintain the relationship.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

shadowmask said:


> Only if I loved her. Honestly, if she's been with more than four or five guys, I don't think I'd be able to maintain the relationship.


Interesting. That's not really a huge number to me.

So if you had this wonderful connection that is hard to find and she was with 6 guys instead of 5, you couldn't do it?


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## Cyrus (Oct 25, 2009)

Nope


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

Milco said:


> I doubt most guys expect or even want that to be honest.
> As you approach 30, the relevant question is no longer how many they've been with, but how many kids they have :um
> Though while I don't want to know the former, I'd probably want to know the latter :lol
> But even there you'll probably have to realise that you can't demand to be the first..


And there are plenty of women who are around 30, have never had sex, and don't have children.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

rymo said:


> Well 7 isn't really very high, number one. And number two, if you're with someone who you really like and want to be with and you find out they have had a high number, all you would have to do is tell them to get tested.


7 isn't a high number? Where do you live? Somewhere where casual sex is not only not frowned on but encouraged?

I thought two was high...


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Revenwyn said:


> And there are plenty of women who are around 30, have never had sex, and don't have children.


I didn't mean to say where weren't any - There are, just as there are men.
But I wouldn't say there are plenty.
I don't have the exact numbers, but I did read about them some time ago.
My point was just that it's not very realistic to have these things as demands, because that's just not how reality is; you'd be very unlikely to meet a person that lived up to it.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Revenwyn:1059686335 said:


> rymo said:
> 
> 
> > Well 7 isn't really very high, number one. And number two, if you're with someone who you really like and want to be with and you find out they have had a high number, all you would have to do is tell them to get tested.
> ...


Tons of people start having sex in early high school so 7 by the time they get to early 20s+ is not that high. Plus look at all the banging going on in college. 7 is a joke if you consider that, tbh. I mean of course,many people have long term relationships in college and whatnot (and others have SA :b) so numbers can be skewed but you can't be too surprised if someone has slept with 7 people (and that's not even including interactions with other people dealing with other activities besides intercourse).


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

srschirm said:


> Interesting. That's not really a huge number to me.
> 
> So if you had this wonderful connection that is hard to find and she was with 6 guys instead of 5, you couldn't do it?


I think the lying is worse than the number itself. Honesty and trust is critical in relationships.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Revenwyn said:


> 7 isn't a high number? Where do you live? Somewhere where casual sex is not only not frowned on but encouraged?
> 
> I thought two was high...


7 is not high.

One of my ex's had had a lot of partners, and it didn't bother me, our relationship was really good, and the sex was great. Really doesn't factor in.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

Milco said:


> I doubt most guys expect or even want that to be honest.
> As you approach 30, the relevant question is no longer how many they've been with, but how many kids they have :um
> Though while I don't want to know the former, I'd probably want to know the latter :lol
> But even there you'll probably have to realise that you can't demand to be the first..


Good to know. I doubt I'd be with a guy who was hung up on the number of guys I've been with anyway. As we get older our personal baggage increases.

My pet project is to, at minimum, quadruple my number.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Double Indemnity said:


> Good to know. I doubt I'd be with a guy who was hung up on the number of guys I've been with anyway. As we get older our personal baggage increases.
> 
> My pet project is to, at minimum, quadruple my number.


As long as it's an integer number I wouldn't care much, I don't think.
5½.. I'd probably be a bit weirded out :b

Good luck with the project, I guess 
I trust you'll be making progress reports..? :um :lol


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

Milco said:


> As long as it's an integer number I wouldn't care much, I don't think.
> 5½.. I'd probably be a bit weirded out :b
> 
> Good luck with the project, I guess
> I trust you'll be making progress reports..? :um :lol


I was planning on keeping track by the notches on my bedpost, but I guess I could create a thread under Goal Setting .


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

It would bother me, which is probably another reason why I won't get with anyone. I'd feel insecure and as if I'm doing all of the people they did it with while I'm *with* them. It's an ego thing.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

Revenwyn said:


> 7 isn't a high number? Where do you live? Somewhere where casual sex is not only not frowned on but encouraged?
> 
> I thought two was high...


Seven is definitely not a high number where I am from (large city in Canada, btw).


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

It's about age. Over 100 is obviously bad lol, but 20 isn't a big of a deal to an older man than it would be for a young person..... How many people you have banged / Age.... or w/e... its all relative. 20 for a 50 yr old is prob like 5 for a 20 year old. People can't be expected to be celibate. Enjoy life, be as careful as you can, but still - enjoy it. # of partners doesn't make the current one (you) less desirable either. Sex isn't this huge emotional thing... to me at least. Experience is generally a bonus but to corrupt an innocent naive person is sometimes even better... train them to be your sexual slave and show them the ways haha


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

pita said:


> Seven is definitely not a high number where I am from (large city in Canada, btw).


Same its no biggie

7 is my lucky #. wink wink...... Lol


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

Freiheit said:


> It would bother me, which is probably another reason why I won't get with anyone. I'd feel insecure and as if I'm doing all of the people they did it with while I'm *with* them. It's an ego thing.


I understand. I use to be that way as a virgin and when I was only with one person. I had a fairytale idea of perfect and my ego wanted to be the only desired thing for the man.... competition scared me. What if his last was better... am i good enough etc. Are u the same way i use to be? Im sure the guy is thinking about only how sexy you are and lucky he is though  guys dont want their ex they like the girl theyre with I hope u feel good about it, not bc u have to date someone who has experience virgins are good too, but if u meet someone with experience i hope u trust they like u... i dont think about old lovers when in bed with a current one i promise u that


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

No, it wouldn't.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

komorikun said:


> :lol....these numbers are so low.....and I didn't start having sex till I was nearly 20. If you go to bars or parties and you are female, it's soooooo easy to ratchet up the numbers.


True dat


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

@srschirm - It's a high number to me. Probably an unrealistic expectation for a girl to have such a low number under her belt in this day and age, but it's what I'd want. Call me old-fashioned. What I stated is just an approximation, the more guys a girl has been with, the more it would eat at me, to the point where I'd question the value of her love. Of course narcissism is involved too. I couldn't stand to be a footnote in the life story of someone I let myself be that close with, in any way.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Milco said:


> As long as it's an integer number I wouldn't care much, I don't think.
> 5½.. I'd probably be a bit weirded out :b
> 
> Good luck with the project, I guess
> I trust you'll be making progress reports..? :um :lol


So if vaginal sex= 1 then:

oral sex= 0.75
third base= 0.5
2nd base= 0.3
kissing= 0.2 :huh

My calculations would get much more complicated then....



Double Indemnity said:


> I was planning on keeping track by the notches on my bedpost, but I guess I could create a thread under Goal Setting .


Yes, please do. Kind of like how some people have threads dedicated to weight loss or their job search. Whatever you do, make sure to take a photo of each guy. I have photos of all the guys I got with in Brazil (stole it from their orkut/facebook profiles) and I shared the album with my sister and a couple friends but unfortunately I don't have any photos from my time in Japan.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

komorikun said:


> So if vaginal sex= 1 then:
> 
> oral sex= 0.75
> third base= 0.5
> ...


Eep!
I thought we were just counting people, which is why the ½ would have weirded me out.
But yeah, seems soon this will be as complicated as filling out your tax forms!
... I wonder what tax returns would be then.. :um


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Milco said:


> Eep!
> I thought we were just counting people, which is why the ½ would have weirded me out.
> But yeah, seems soon this will be as complicated as filling out your tax forms!
> ... I wonder what tax returns would be then.. :um


Yeah, we are counting people. I was just thinking about if you should count people that you only kissed but didn't have sex with, and if so how would you calculate it.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

:doh it's turned to math?!


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## Dane (Jul 27, 2009)

What would bother me more than numbers would be the context of her experience.

Women who do one night stands wouldn't interest me. Not to judge people who do that, but it's not what I'm into.

Also, I am attracted to women with experiences, values and tastes similar to mine. Since my number is extremely low, I would want the same in a girlfriend.


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## leave me alone (Apr 1, 2011)

Yes, it would bother me somewhat, but I am prepared to deal with it.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

it would depend on the context of that experience. but basically, no. at my age, it's a little late to be worrying about that sort of thing.


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

I'm getting a little long in the tooth...by now, everyone has had more experience than me.


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## kosherpiggy (Apr 7, 2010)

no it would not. even though im a virgin, i feel like i do have a lot of experience.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Revenwyn said:


> And there are plenty of women who are around 30, have never had sex,


I am struggling to believe this. The kid part maybe, but not this.


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## Lasair (Jan 25, 2010)

No....because really I couldn't have any less lol


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

shadowmask said:


> @srschirm - It's a high number to me. Probably an unrealistic expectation for a girl to have such a low number under her belt in this day and age, but it's what I'd want. Call me old-fashioned. What I stated is just an approximation, the more guys a girl has been with, the more it would eat at me, to the point where I'd question the value of her love. Of course narcissism is involved too. I couldn't stand to be a footnote in the life story of someone I let myself be that close with, in any way.


I understand where you are coming from. One thing I'd point out is that sex doesn't necessarily have to do with love though. Like I said (in this thread or another?), most men kinda dream about being the only guy a woman has been with. So I think we can understand your mindset.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

komorikun said:


> Yeah, we are counting people. I was just thinking about if you should count people that you only kissed but didn't have sex with, and if so how would you calculate it.


I don't want to go too explicit :b
But anything that doesn't involve the uhm.. parts.. wouldn't count.
Anything that does involve them would.
If you've made out with 1000 guys, I guess we might still need to talk about that, but it's just not the same kind of intimacy in my opinion.



millenniumman75 said:


> :doh it's turned to math?!


It's what I'm good at.
Taking something everybody likes and ruining it completely


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## beethoven (Jan 17, 2011)

Me and my girlfriend have about the same number of experiences and it still bothers me. I know it is an emotional reaction with little rational basis, but it does bother me. Picturing the girlfriend you love having sex with some other dude is painful and unfortunately those thoughts cross my mind from time to time. 

It wouldn't bother me if I didn't like her so much though. I dated more experienced girls and it didn't bother me because I wasn't too much into them.


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## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

lol, nope.

Honestly, there's a statistic that says 90% of people lose their virginity by the time they get to my age IIRC. It's to be expected, really.


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## stylicho (Nov 8, 2003)

I was a virgin till 25. Then everything exploded, pun intended . I think my lusting has died off though, thank God.


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## Catnap (Dec 5, 2011)

It wouldn't bother me, though I've yet to experience such a situation.


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## Onigiri (Aug 3, 2010)

Yes, the number matters because I'm picky about the people I'm with. I expect the same for the guy if we're going to have a serious relationship. If the guy is under 30 and he's slept with more than 5 women, I'd seriously raise an eyebrow and reconsider it unless he's REALLYYYYY SPECIAL.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

stylicho said:


> I was a virgin till 25. Then everything exploded, pun intended . I think my lusting has died off though, thank God.


LOL. Why do you think this is? Natural factors? Depression? Another reason?


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## Haunty (Oct 24, 2008)

As long as they didn't have STDs or expect much from me right away.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

Revenwyn said:


> Well I'm already married, but...
> 
> Yeah it would bother me if he had more experience than me. I will admit I dated a guy who had sex once in his life and that turned me off; I wouldn't have sex with him and we just kinda fizzled although we do remain friends.
> 
> My husband and I were virgins when we got married, and before anyone says that must have been awkward, it really wasn't. We finally crashed after about five hours.


It's rare to have that nowdays. I mean no sex before marriage.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

Having incredibly low self esteem it would bother me that i was a virgin and she would have experience. I can't help it but i would be thinking of other guys she slept with. I think it all depends on the situation though, i mean i would be more bothered if she would have had the experience from being promiscuous.


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

gaz said:


> It's rare to have that nowdays. I mean no sex before marriage.


Rare, but not impossible if you know where to look.


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## Propaganda (Oct 26, 2010)

When she starts taking off her shoes to start counting her sex partners I become a bit weirded out.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

No. I'd like to know why it would bother other people, though.

I wouldn't judge a person on their number of sexual partners. I don't think it's telling of who they are. Now if you want to take into consideration the reasons for each sexual "exploit" (or lack thereof), I guess that's justifiable.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

The only thing I want to know is how many relationships my (supposed) partner has had and how long they lasted. Maybe I'd like to know why they broke up. I'd rather not know about how many sex partners they've had and what sort of acts they engaged in. Some things you are just better off not knowing. One ex-bf did yuck me out by telling me a few stories. I yucked him out too with a few of mine.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

Revenwyn said:


> Rare, but not impossible if you know where to look.


The people tend to be either religious o'r asexual. It's hard to find people who simply choose by choice.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

AllToAll said:


> No. I'd like to know why it would bother other people, though.
> 
> I wouldn't judge a person on their number of sexual partners. I don't think it's telling of who they are. Now if you want to take into consideration the reasons for each sexual "exploit" (or lack thereof), I guess that's justifiable.


It depends on the scenarios they had sex. I mean i'd be more comfortable if the sex had been with long term partners rather than random hookups.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

How would guys feel if your girlfriend told you that she had a threesome with 2 guys once? Or for women, the reverse; if your boyfriend had a threesome with 2 girls.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

It'd bother me a little, I think. Not something I'd make a big deal of though.


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## josh23 (Nov 26, 2010)

It would bother me. I'm a dominant personality and I would struggle to handle that. It would make me very uncomfortable.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

komorikun said:


> How would guys feel if your girlfriend told you that she had a threesome with 2 guys once? Or for women, the reverse; if your boyfriend had a threesome with 2 girls.


First off I'd cry out: "Why did you have to tell me that?!?!":fall
But then it depends on whether they follow up with: "...and it was awful! Never want to do that again!"
You naturally can't be 2 people, so I think you could very easily feel inadequate.
There could be many other things like that, where you might not be into something they are.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

My ex told me she was in a threesome once (although only having intercourse with one of them) during her wild summer after high school, and it bothered me quite a bit at first, but I got over it pretty quick. Who really cares, honestly? The past is the past and everyone likes to have fun. She was not that same person when I was with her, anyway.


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## gentleman caller (Feb 22, 2012)

Milco said:


> *First off I'd cry out: "Why did you have to tell me that?!?!"*:fall
> But then it depends on whether they follow up with: "...and it was awful! Never want to do that again!"
> You naturally can't be 2 people, so I think you could very easily feel inadequate.
> There could be many other things like that, where you might not be into something they are.


It's best to keep the details to yourself. There is no reason to reveal all the nasty things you've done prior to meeting them. It's only going to result in hurt feelings and possibly create trust issues down the line. Just keep your mouth shut. Even if they say they want to know they don't. No one really wants to know all the little details about the person they are dating.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

gentleman caller said:


> It's best to keep the details to yourself. There is no reason to reveal all the nasty things you've done prior to meeting them. It's only going to result in hurt feelings and possibly create trust issues down the line. Just keep your mouth shut. Even if they say they want to know they don't. No one really wants to know all the little details about the person they are dating.


There is some truth to this. I may _want_ to know, but it's probably not a good idea.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I was just curious cause I was reading on another forum how some guy was so crushed that his girlfriend had been in a threesome. I've been offered a couple times but I did not take them up on it cause their friend was not cute. Kind of weird how guys offer up their friends. Like some guy I've been with before picks me up and there is another guy in the car....:sus..... like...umm.....who the hell is this? And why are you telling me that your friend has a big one? Why do you even know? :um


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

komorikun said:


> How would guys feel if your girlfriend told you that she had a threesome with 2 guys once?


Quite frankly, I'd be disgusted. uke


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## Wacky Wednesdays (Apr 10, 2011)

It wouldn't bother me at all. The only cause for concern would be risking STIs and infidelity as a result of that. If anything, the added experience is a bonus.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

BobtheSaint said:


> Quite frankly, I'd be disgusted. uke


I would probably kill myself because i would be haunted by the image of it in my head.


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

Wouldn't bother me as long as she kept the details to herself, and preferably most of her partners were in a relationship with her if there were a lot.


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

I know it shouldn't do, and it needn't mean he would think any less of me, etc., but I think it probably would bother me a bit, although I'm sure I'd force myself to get over it. I'll be honest, because my boyfriend and I were both virgins when we met, it was nice not having to battle against visions of him being with anyone else or wondering how I compare (I do love and trust him completely, my low self-esteem just plays havoc with my mind sometimes!). Hypothetically speaking, a potential boyfriend having had a large amount of sexual experience is somewhat of a turn-off for me; I know that's not necessarily fair on the person, but it's just my gut reaction.


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## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

Not if she put what she learned to good use.


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## gentleman caller (Feb 22, 2012)

gaz said:


> I would probably kill myself because i would be haunted by the image of it in my head.


That's why she should keep it to herself. Who the hell wants to know that their gf was pig roasted by two dudes at the same time. Even if they ask she should just lie about instead. Too much honesty is not healthy no matter how much people like believe otherwise.


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Not really, i would pretty much expect women my age to be sexually experienced in our sex mad society......it would only be a problem if she was rubbing my face in it (not literally lol).


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## squidd (Feb 10, 2012)

A person's past is in their past. If I care for them and trust them then what should it matter. If they've had alot of different sexual partners then there's a better chance they've figured out what they do and don't like. In fact I could think of nothing worse than sleeping with a virgin...to much to teach them.


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## lucyinthesky (Mar 29, 2009)

If he didn't make it an issue, or make me feel insignificant, then it wouldn't be an issue. Also, comparisons would definitely not be welcome, haha :b


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## MoniqueS (Feb 21, 2011)

I'm not saying it wouldn't bother me a little bit, as I definitely would probably be wondering how I compare, but there are other things that are so much more important. As long as you are both completely commited to eachother in that relationship, I don't think it should matter.


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## blue the puppy (Jul 23, 2011)

gentleman caller said:


> pig roasted


hahaha


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## blue the puppy (Jul 23, 2011)

it would only bother me if his number was ridiculously high, or if he had slept around unsafely, or if he had slept around while he was dating someone else.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

lanzman said:


> Not if she put what she learned to good use.


Ha, this.


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

My gf having more experience than me allowed her to know what she wanted, and how she wanted it, making my job of pleasing her in bed far easier - especially because she'd learned to be more open about it to get what she wants . I on the other hand, with no experience coming into the relationship, I'm still a bit shy and unsure when it comes to telling her how to get me off (though she does a great job despite ).


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## cybernaut (Jul 30, 2010)

Haunty said:


> As long as they didn't have STDs or expect much from me right away.


This. But the level of experience doesn't matter much to me either.


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## isurfallday (Nov 7, 2011)

Women, are lairs when its comes to the actual number of guys they are willing to admit. Most women will go and forget the sex they didnt like, i.e. Random sex in the club, One night stands,threesomes and of course the blowjobs.


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## isurfallday (Nov 7, 2011)

komorikun said:


> ^^^^
> 
> If yes, how many partners is too many? Or how many whatever is too many?
> 
> ...


you seem like a gurl I wouldnt want to ask about past exploits.


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## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

I wouldn't care.


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## Droidsteel (Mar 22, 2012)

Only if they were younger than me. I HATE the thought of saying to someone younger than me 'I have never done this before.'

All the girls I have asked out were older than me and had no experience anyway...


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

I have much more experience than my boyfriend (I had six to eight partners depending on what 'counts', he had none). I haven't told him my exact number because he never asked. He knows I was not a virgin, that's all. I really think that that's all that's terribly necessary to know. It actually becomes beneficial because I'm much more confident in knowing what I want. I'm much more open about sex than he is (though this was more true at the beginning of our relationship).


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## NatureFellow (Jun 14, 2011)

Yeah it would bother me big time 
The threesome thing too, that would freak me out.
I'd preferably want the girl to have had 1-2 partners at around my age...


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## sanspants08 (Oct 21, 2008)

No big deals here. If she had more experience than I have, it would just be comparing ridiculous numbers to ridiculous numbers. 

I've learned never to compare notes on the craziest stuff you've done sexually, because inevitably your partner will get angry/jealous, or you will feel that way. One I have feelings for someone, I never want to imagine them in, um...a compromising position :um.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

It's all good as long as she/I didn't refer and compare previous partners constantly, and if it led to better more enjoyable sex then what harm?!

It's all gravy, people are people.Everybodie's got a kinky side to the, if it's really apparant then yay, if it takes a little coaxing then it's just as good too. **** numbers, or wondering about whats and ifs.

STD's on the other hand, keep yourself safe and be honest.

:b


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## Toppington (Oct 26, 2011)

As long as they didn't bring up their past partners, I'd get over it pretty fast.


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## Bbpuff (Sep 1, 2010)

It bothers me currently, because I'm a virgin and he has had 7 different partners. x-x


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## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

In the words of Chris Rock.... "Just be happy you're getting it now."

I have yet to meet a single person above the age of 18 (except on this board) who has less sexual experience than me, and I am 33.

if I date anyone it is just assumed they will be more experienced than me since I am not experienced at all. As long as my partner does not look down on me because of my lack of experience I won't care.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

I think it depends on the type of sexual experience they have. I've had 11 different intimate partners, but in all of them we practiced safe sex and had at least some type of chemistry between us, even if it wasn't enough to develop a long term relationship.

If I was with a girl who had slept with say, 30 men, and she couldn't remember half of their names, or if 10 of them were at once or something, then I'd be upset about it. While I'm pretty kinky I wouldn't want to be involved with someone that has had a reckless and fleeting sexual lifestyle for most of their life.

Also it's worth mentioning that age matters, a lot. If I were dating an 18 year old girl that had slept with 20 men I'd assume there was something psychologically wrong with her, or that she was a pornstar. But if she was in her mid to late 20s and had slept with that many men I wouldn't be phased.


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## J.T. (Jan 9, 2009)

:heart I think it would be kind of cool and romantic to loose my virginity to a virgin. We could get married, and be able to say we've never been with anyone else :heart


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