# what it took to OVERCOME SAD



## Gemini32 (Apr 12, 2011)

Hi, I'm new to this site and thought I would share my story here. I'm currently a 24 year old male living in California. I will break down just a small piece of my story from early life to mid and present
*Early years*
I HAD SAD since i was 11. At that time I was unable to make eye contact with girls or boys that were not in my comfort zone. Meeting new people scared me.The initial contact is what was the hardest part, just even that simple "HI". Because of these traits I became depressed and sad behind closed doors. I was socially awkward. Then at the age of 18, i had terrible panic attacks for years to come so I had to deal with SAD and panic at the sametime. 
*Midyears*. 18-23
Through these years I knew that I had to change myself, completely or I would go into a downward spiral with my life.(I remember 18, i became so bad with my panic and anxiety that i couldn't eat food or really drink anything more than water for 3 days straight. The only thing i recall actually eating was crackers, but than cause of my nerves I would throw up a lot within those 3 hard days. I ended up going to the hospital because low potassium and dehydration).After that day, it was a progress towards the sky.I enrolled in college, got a job and started forcing myself into social situations and doing things out of my norm. I had downfalls and up rises with women and men. That seemed to always be my main problem in how to deal with them. I practiced by forcing myself to ask out women in knowing i was going to get rejected and feeling and experiencing that rejecting. I did this because it made me walk out of it stronger and learn. I did this numerous times, never had the intention of even getting serious with them. Then i started actually getting some dates, which i forced myself to go out on . I went out just to experience it was good. The more I put myself in situations i didnt like, I than never became never in those situations and grew stronger as a person. This was helping my panic disorder and anxiety. because the only cure for these things are to JUMP INTO YOUR FEARS. this extremely helped me. by the age of 23 i started to fell confident and figuring out myself and the world of dating hah. I hit a downfall at the end, but kept fighting it and pushing myself until present time
*Present*-age 24 
Now, I have lost anxiety,panic and SAD out of my life and finished college. I go out with ease to bars, lounges, clubs , on dates. I have no fear about going in for the kiss or asking for her number anymore. During this last year i have forced myself to go on dates with women in actually trying to build something. Here is one story i wanted to feel how it would feeellll to be rejected for a kiss, i needed to get those nerves out of my system. so knowing i was going to get rejected i went in for the kiss got rejected and guess what happen.. I became stronger and more confident the next day; that fear was gone. I started to speak publicly and act on stage comfortable. I stopped waking up every morning and worrying about what panic or anxiety i will be having today. I see light now for the future. I have time to focus on my career and develop myself past SAD,panic, and anxiety. I also coped with dealing with negative people who always put you down and controlling my emotions and expressing myself which was key in the success. I realized bad things happen to good and bad people. You just need to learn how to deal with it and move on . 
*FINAL THOUGHTS*-
IT was not easy at all to get over this. IT TOOK TIME AND A LOT OF HARD WORK. MANY DAYS i couldnt sleep or eat. *After 6 long years I look back now and it was well worth the fight to put me where I am today.If i knew what I knew now back then it would have taken me a few months to get over it all, but I had only myself and my will power to move on.* If you would like some words of wisdom and advice with getting over SAD and moving on with your life plzzz feel free to message me here or ask for my name on skype, or aim. I will like give back and help anyone out here who has questions or concerns. I joined this site to help out anyone with questions and meet new people. This is just a brief part somethings that bother me with SAD. I had other issues with SAD that I had to overcome with different techniques. , so if you message me or care to ask specific questions I can answer more


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## DreamyDove (Dec 8, 2009)

:clap This is so great..... I needed to be reminded that this can be overcome


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## Gemini32 (Apr 12, 2011)

Thank you... I wrote this for that exact reason, to give inspiration to the fellow members here. Just keep on attacking what triggers you.


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## Kakaka (Apr 7, 2010)

Good story, I'm glad it worked out for you


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## Gemini32 (Apr 12, 2011)

Kakaka said:


> Good story, I'm glad it worked out for you


Thank you, how is your progress coming along with it so far?


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## Susan Storm (Jun 30, 2010)

I really enjoyed reading your story, I feel more positive after reading it. I'm so negative, it's hard to see the future getting better, I really don't know if I believe we control our life or circumstances anymore, I just don't meet the right people, who I can make relationships with, but I see I need to change my thinking and have some sort of plan or method to make things better. 

When you started what sort of social situations did you force yourself into and were you in a group setting or on your own? What out of the norm did you do?

It's nice as a overcomer you joined this forum to help others, thank you


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## bengo (Nov 25, 2010)

you give me hope, with shyness it seems impossible for me to have girls but you prove my belief wrong


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## thebirdistheword (Aug 24, 2010)

how do you get the balls to ask someone out lol? tell me how you did it...or atleast talk to a random person.


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## Gemini32 (Apr 12, 2011)

Susan Storm said:


> I really enjoyed reading your story, I feel more positive after reading it. I'm so negative, it's hard to see the future getting better, I really don't know if I believe we control our life or circumstances anymore, I just don't meet the right people, who I can make relationships with, but I see I need to change my thinking and have some sort of plan or method to make things better.
> 
> When you started what sort of social situations did you force yourself into and were you in a group setting or on your own? What out of the norm did you do?
> 
> It's nice as a overcomer you joined this forum to help others, thank you


When I started to finally make change was at the age of 18; that is where I hit rock bottom. Here are a few examples I can give you and what I did to overcome them in brief. 
1) I became afraid of going out the house to house parties and events with friends. I was making predictions in my mind about what could happen and what might happen ( all negative thoughts). But I would never know what would really happen and how I would feel until I went. The parties were filled with 20 sometimes 100 people. Fights would break out , i might have an anxiety attack, feel my nerves lose it, and feel that im not in control. But after waking up the next morning I was alive, happy and functioning. Next time I went to a house party became easier, and easier each time after that until i started interacting with people and being the life of the party. 
2) some people get nervous they sweat, shake, or cant speak. Me on the other hand would just throw up loll. If i was going out on a date with a girl which took 3 years after I turned 18 to finally go out on a date with a girl. My friends forced me into it. I was to nervous nor did I know what to even do. The day of the date, I couldnt and wouldnt eat anything because I was afraid of throwing up infront of her or doing the date.The date occured I was nervous of course I never saw the girl again cause I couldnt be myself but was proud of myself for going out with her and doing something that progressed my life. I was nervous to ask her out again , I already knew I would probably get rejected, so i texted her asking her out again saying how great of a time i had with her. she made up an excuse and i never messaged her again. The point was I felt the feelings and emotions that needed to be felt and understood them and coped with them. After that the more dates I went on the feelings of throwing up and nervous just vanished. Once or twice I actually told the girl I had panic and anxiety which actually does work and you guys should try because it 100 percent took away my nerves

I have more stories to share . but hope those answered your question and helped.


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## Gemini32 (Apr 12, 2011)

bengo said:


> you give me hope, with shyness it seems impossible for me to have girls but you prove my belief wrong


Its just like mastering a subject at school. For example, you never knew how to add or subtract the day you came out of your mother lol.. It took time and practice. I would read a lot of articles from dating to self improvement, which helped me see that there could be a light at the end of the tunnel.


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## Gemini32 (Apr 12, 2011)

thebirdistheword said:


> how do you get the balls to ask someone out lol? tell me how you did it...or atleast talk to a random person.


By putting away that they're a girl and that all they're is just a human being that has the same thoughts and emotion process you have. We all shallow and **** from the same place. 
It is all about goal setting. I didnt make yearly goals or 5 year goals. I made daily goals and weekly goals. I had to micromanage myself. Before calling the girl I had some sort of plan of what I wanted to talk about on the phone and where I was going to ask her out.

Do you use skype because I do a lot of my chatting on their. maybe you can ask me more specific questions or message me here either or. I check this website a couple of times a day, im usual by a computer


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## InMyDreams55 (Apr 1, 2011)

This is an impression dude! I hope to overcome SAD someday to as well.


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## Gemini32 (Apr 12, 2011)

updated


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## Sam1911 (Dec 4, 2010)

good read :yes


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## O B kool (Mar 18, 2011)

I feel you and everything but I'm 26 so I dont wanna take 6 years to get rid of this SAD I wanna do it with in a before I'm 28


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## dutchguy (Jun 8, 2009)

Wow..

Im speecheless. I like your story. It gives me hope. But it takes years..:afr
I wish I could have someone who can support me with this. I am easily lost in notworkingthoughts.


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## wmw87 (Apr 20, 2011)

Very good post, Gemini32.


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## Paris23 (Feb 20, 2011)

Thank u so much! "What doesnt kill you makes you stronger." That's my moto.


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## el zorro (May 18, 2011)

I love OP philosophy and totally agree with it, the only way to overcome this is facing the fear right front, as simple as that, because many of the negative outcomes we imagine are made up by SA, when we take the situations out front and see it's not as bad as we thought, only then we learn this negative imagination of ours is just that: imagination and that we can take much more control of social situations and the world surrounding us.
There is a japanese proverb that says: Fall down 7 times but get up 8.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

Paris23 said:


> Thank u so much! "What doesnt kill you makes you stronger." That's my moto.


 What doesnt kill you kills the spirit." :duck j.k

Nice work op


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## Ambitious (Apr 17, 2011)

Wow, so so so happy you have come to where you stand today. Which make it even better is that you are happy and comfortable standing there!

I make daily goals, i reach as much as them as i can. I find if i dont have a daily plan i will lose a sence of myself. When i have them i keep on track. One thing extra i can do is push myself more. 
Do things where i push myself out there to extra things and not just the things that will be in my days anyway. Like i did college, i now volunteer and im planning to go back to college. A big missing factor in my life is socializing with friends who go out all the time. I go out, but i could do more...i will do more. 

One question, did you ever have a problem with drinking? See i drink now to socialize at the weekends and that basically is my life. Im lost with what to do in that area. But i think that if i begin socializing during the weeks (without booze) that will be a starter anyway...

SO HAPY 4 U


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## Gemini32 (Apr 12, 2011)

Ambitious said:


> Wow, so so so happy you have come to where you stand today. Which make it even better is that you are happy and comfortable standing there!
> 
> I make daily goals, i reach as much as them as i can. I find if i dont have a daily plan i will lose a sence of myself. When i have them i keep on track. One thing extra i can do is push myself more.
> Do things where i push myself out there to extra things and not just the things that will be in my days anyway. Like i did college, i now volunteer and im planning to go back to college. A big missing factor in my life is socializing with friends who go out all the time. I go out, but i could do more...i will do more.
> ...


I really have to say thank you for your kind words and yes daily goals is key, but have a big picture at the end of those daily goals.. about the drinking. I didnt take a sip of alcohol from the age of 18 to 22. Now i drink on special occasion and i never have mixed alcohol with trying to get over my SAD.


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## Ambitious (Apr 17, 2011)

Gemini32 said:


> but have a big picture at the end of those daily goals..


Can you explain more what you mean please?


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## Holly47 (May 25, 2011)

Wow, your story is very inspirational! I have had anxiety issues on and off for pretty much most of my life. I seem to have a hard time making and keeping friends. Aside from that, I have a horrible time sleeping. I was just wondering if you had any trouble sleeping. My biggest problem is sleeping over at my boyfriends house. He hates that I have this problem. I just feel like I cannot sleep unless it is in my own bed. 

I really like your therory of just facing your fears. That makes a lot of sense. I just need to get up the nerve to do it.


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## Gemini32 (Apr 12, 2011)

Ambitious said:


> Can you explain more what you mean please?


sure, for example lets say you want to buy a car worth $10000 so that is your big picture. now your daily goals is what will allow that big picture to come alive. So you then start saving $100 a week, which will then take in this case 100 weeks to reach . These small goals are to lead up to the ultimate goal that you want and desire.


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## Gemini32 (Apr 12, 2011)

Holly47 said:


> Wow, your story is very inspirational! I have had anxiety issues on and off for pretty much most of my life. I seem to have a hard time making and keeping friends. Aside from that, I have a horrible time sleeping. I was just wondering if you had any trouble sleeping. My biggest problem is sleeping over at my boyfriends house. He hates that I have this problem. I just feel like I cannot sleep unless it is in my own bed.
> 
> I really like your therory of just facing your fears. That makes a lot of sense. I just need to get up the nerve to do it.


When my anxiety went then my sleeping became better. But before that I had a schedule of when i would wake up every morning and sleep . Keeping a sleeping routine was key. usually it would be 12am i would sleep and wake up at 8am or 9am. ALso even if i did sleep later at 2am, i would still force myself to wake up at 8 or 9 am to not disturb my internal clock


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## ForeverInBloom (Oct 4, 2010)

Gemini32 said:


> Thank you... I wrote this for that exact reason, to give inspiration to the fellow members here. Just keep on attacking what triggers you.


Wow, this makes me WANT to try. Couldn't have said it better. Especially how your post isn't as adumbrate as others who say "Just do it" (No offense to the others who try to help others overcome SA on this site, I know they mean well and I appreciate their input, I really do). That line on attacking what scares you...I never thought of it that way. I'm glad I read your post and that line.


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## ForeverInBloom (Oct 4, 2010)

So WHAT would you do at a party? Would you just stand there, doing nothing and then eventually work your way up by talking to random people as you went to more parties?

What would you say to them at first?


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## ASAR (Sep 14, 2010)

You are true warrior,no one who didnt experiance these sensations cant understand what an achievement it is to overcome those anxcious brain conections,how the proces is dificult to force brain to change.
thank you


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