# Old "bestfriend" tried to contact me



## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

So my old 'bestfriend' tried to contact me, but quickly revoked her friend request. And it's making me angry again.

Short backstory, she was my bestfriend, but turned her back on me once I told her I was going through depression and suicidal thoughts. Although I helped her when she had depression herself half a year before, she still chose to backstab me. 

Right now, I want her to feel the pain I went through. I don't want to be friends again, obviously, but I want her to feel pain. 

Can anyone offer advice on this matter?


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## LonelyLurker (Sep 24, 2016)

EarthDominator said:


> So my old 'bestfriend' tried to contact me, but quickly revoked her friend request. And it's making me angry again.
> 
> Short backstory, she was my bestfriend, but turned her back on me once I told her I was going through depression and suicidal thoughts. Although I helped her when she had depression herself half a year before, she still chose to backstab me.
> 
> ...


Realise that you're better off without someone who takes but won't give in your life. Try to let go of the anger or desire for revenge (I know, harder said than done), the only person you'll hurt is yourself.


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

EarthDominator said:


> I want her to feel pain.


vindication is not the way


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

LonelyLurker said:


> Realise that you're better off without someone who takes but won't give in your life. Try to let go of the anger or desire for revenge (I know, harder said than done), the only person you'll hurt is yourself.


I know I'm better off without her, I got better friends now, real friends. But she doesn't realise how much it hurts when your 'bestfriend' turns her back on you when you're going through tough times. I want her to feel the same pain, it's not fair that she can get away with this.



versikk said:


> vindication is not the way


Same as what I said above here.


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## Raies (Nov 3, 2016)

EarthDominator said:


> I know I'm better off without her, I got better friends now, real friends. But she doesn't realise how much it hurts when your 'bestfriend' turns her back on you when you're going through tough times. I want her to feel the same pain, it's not fair that she can get away with this.
> 
> Same as what I said above here.


Life isn't fair.

Holding a grudge will likely just turn on yourself.

There may be many reasons why she did what she did.

Have you always been perfect for everyone else? Never, ever given up on someone, or let anyone down?
Never had any regrets about anything? Please..

Everyone makes mistakes, sometimes people are in life situations where they can't help others (even when it seems like they are doing fine)...

How about you talk with her, and ASK her why she did that?
Then decide, whether you should be friends or not.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Raies said:


> Life isn't fair.
> 
> Holding a grudge will likely just turn on yourself.
> 
> ...


No I wasn't implying I'm perfect myself. :/ I do my best my friends, I swear, but even sometimes I can't be perfect for them. 

I already asked why she did that, and she told me that "she doesn't want to deal with my bull****". These were her exact words. I don't want friends who are not willing to stay by my side when I'm going through bad times.


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

You can't fault people for not wanting to deal with others' pain. You're supposed to be around friends who make you feel good. there's no point in hanging around people who make you feel miserable. There is a difference between "helping someoene thru a tough time" and "frequenting with someone who is outwardly sad and bitter and negative all the time"


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## Raies (Nov 3, 2016)

EarthDominator said:


> No I wasn't implying I'm perfect myself. :/ I do my best my friends, I swear, but even sometimes I can't be perfect for them.
> 
> I already asked why she did that, and she told me that "she doesn't want to deal with my bull****". These were her exact words. I don't want friends who are not willing to stay by my side when I'm going through bad times.


Wellp, then that's quite a bit more understandable; something worthy of pointing out in the original post? 

But then, just accept that she's a ****ty person and move on. You'll do a favor to yourself with that.


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## fellowdeer (Sep 12, 2017)

I never really experienced any of my past friends even bothering to contact me for anything random or even giving me explanation why they left me (I still have 0 friends 6 years since they left me without reasons) and not that long ago, last month, my only friend which was my best friend suddenly blocks me on Facebook and I left her some messages but nothing and I think I will never know why she blocked me. I just wanted to make plans with her?? haha..lol. 

Honestly, she may have a reason why she contacted you. Maybe you do need to hear her out and see what she has to offer but considering that she left you because you were depressed is such a horrible thing but there's times that people don't understand depression or certain disorders and maybe as time pasts, people learn and may change how they view it. 

Do what is best for you. I'd risk it because I usually give people a chance to say something but that's just me and maybe not what you want to consider.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Raies said:


> Wellp, then that's quite a bit more understandable; something worthy of pointing out in the original post?
> 
> But then, just accept that she's a ****ty person and move on. You'll do a favor to yourself with that.


She is, I just want her to feel the same pain which I felt. Sigh.



fellowdeer said:


> I never really experienced any of my past friends even bothering to contact me for anything random or even giving me explanation why they left me (I still have 0 friends 6 years since they left me without reasons) and not that long ago, last month, my only friend which was my best friend suddenly blocks me on Facebook and I left her some messages but nothing and I think I will never know why she blocked me. I just wanted to make plans with her?? haha..lol.
> 
> Honestly, she may have a reason why she contacted you. Maybe you do need to hear her out and see what she has to offer but considering that she left you because you were depressed is such a horrible thing but there's times that people don't understand depression or certain disorders and maybe as time pasts, people learn and may change how they view it.
> 
> Do what is best for you. I'd risk it because I usually give people a chance to say something but that's just me and maybe not what you want to consider.


Not going to give her another chance of trying to hurt me, besides I don't need her. As I said, I got real friends now, who stay by my side through the most difficult times. Those are real friends, not fake ones.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Just move on and forget about her. She's not someone who is friend worthy and stress worthy. It's actually pretty common for people to act selfishly the way she did. Get what you want from others, and then not give back.

So you decline her friend request? Or did she take back her own friend request?


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Blue Dino said:


> Just move on and forget about her. She's not someone who is friend worthy and stress worthy. It's actually pretty common for people to act selfishly the way she did. Get what you want from others, and then not give back.


I understand, but I just want her to know how much pain it caused to me.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

If I understand correctly... are you wanting to reconnect with her and then confront her about it?


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Blue Dino said:


> If I understand correctly... are you wanting to reconnect with her and then confront her about it?


Well, I already tried to explain it to her but she just blocked me before I could even tell her 1 word.

I want to show her how much pain I felt, by either telling her or letting her feel the same pain.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

EarthDominator said:


> Well, I already tried to explain it to her but she just blocked me before I could even tell her 1 word.
> 
> I want to show her how much pain I felt, by either telling her or letting her feel the same pain.


If that's the case, there really isn't much to go further on this matter. She cut off contact with you. And you don't want to rekindle your friendship with her out of anger. This sounds to me it's case closed.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Blue Dino said:


> If that's the case, there really isn't much to go further on this matter. She cut off contact with you. And you don't want to rekindle your friendship with her out of anger. This sounds to me it's case closed.


Except that I want her to feel the same pain as I had, she deserves it.


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## InTheWorldOfNiM (Oct 3, 2010)

EarthDominator said:


> Well, I already tried to explain it to her but she just blocked me before I could even tell her 1 word.
> 
> I want to show her how much pain I felt, by either telling her or letting her feel the same pain.


I say let her back into your life, but low-key bully the *****. Pretend to be cool with her then over time bully her relentlessly. if she starts using you as an emotional tampon again, get assertive with her and tell her to shut the **** up with all the depressing crap or give her really crappy advice or blunt comments that make her feel even more crappy. If she has any secrets, tell the world about it. Be low-key malicious, be manipulative, be relentless and slowly increase the level and rate of your bullying tactics. If you do it right, it will make you feel better and it will make you feel like you are getting her back for hurting your feelings. Telling her to her face that she hurt your feelings is not going to mean anything to her, she's not going to care, she doesn't seem like the type of person who would really care about that based on what you said she has done. Just focus on getting your revenge. it will make you feel much better, especially if you do it right. don't listen to anyone who says you should just cut her off and get over your feelings about the situation because, your feelings will not go away. If you have a window of opportunity to get back at her then please, please take that opportunity. manipulate the situation in a way where you can properly make her feel some level of emotional stress. And whatever you do, try your best not to give a crap about her or her feelings if you do go through with it. Reading wrote you wrote angers me and I'm upset that you feel she is getting away with it. please don't allow her to get away with it. seriously please don't. I hate people like that girl.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

InTheWorldOfNiM said:


> I say let her back into your life, but low-key bully the *****. Pretend to be cool with her then over time bully her relentlessly. if she starts using you as an emotional tampon again, get assertive with her and tell her to shut the **** up with all the depressing crap or give her really crappy advice or blunt comments that make her feel even more crappy. If she has any secrets, tell the world about it. Be low-key malicious, be manipulative, be relentless and slowly increase the level and rate of your bullying tactics. If you do it right, it will make you feel better and it will make you feel like you are getting her back for hurting your feelings. Telling her to her face that she hurt your feelings is not going to mean anything to her, she's not going to care, she doesn't seem like the type of person who would really care about that based on what you said she has done. Just focus on getting your revenge. it will make you feel much better, especially if you do it right. don't listen to anyone who says you should just cut her off and get over your feelings about the situation because, your feelings will not go away. If you have a window of opportunity to get back at her then please, please take that opportunity. manipulate the situation in a way where you can properly make her feel some level of emotional stress. And whatever you do, try your best not to give a crap about her or her feelings if you do go through with it. Reading wrote you wrote angers me and I'm upset that you feel she is getting away with it. please don't allow her to get away with it. seriously please don't. I hate people like that girl.


I'm not going to bully anyone, I hate bullying. And I know secrets about her, but I promised I'd never tell anyone, which I still will hold on to even though she spread some private information about me, I'm better than her.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

As long as she remained no contact with you, I don't see how you can ever confront her again.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Blue Dino said:


> As long as she remained no contact with you, I don't see how you can ever confront her again.


I'll just forget it then, but I still hate the fact people can hurt others and just get away with it.


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## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

EarthDominator said:


> Except that I want her to feel the same pain as I had, she deserves it.


You're not really in a position where that's possible. And in fact things often backfire here where the person who retaliates just proves that they're a lunatic to the person they're trying to punish. Do you want her to think 'damn that guy is a ****ing nutcase, I was right all along, good riddance'? Because that's probably what will happen if you do anything at this point in this situation. The most sensible thing to do is to learn how to be indifferent. She honestly sounds like a bit of a lunatic anyway, so I think this might be the kind of situation where you'll look back in a few years now and realise how seriously messed up she was and it was best that you parted ways.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Rains said:


> You're not really in a position where that's possible. And in fact things often backfire here where the person who retaliates just proves that they're a lunatic to the person they're trying to punish. Do you want her to think 'damn that guy is a ****ing nutcase, I was right all along, good riddance'? Because that's probably what will happen if you do anything at this point in this situation. The most sensible thing to do is to learn how to be indifferent. She honestly sounds like a bit of a lunatic anyway, so I think this might be the kind of situation where you'll look back in a few years now and realise how seriously messed up she was and it was best that you parted ways.


Well, letting go isn't the main problem I have. It's just the urge for revenge or however you want to call it.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

EarthDominator said:


> I'll just forget it then, but I still hate the fact people can hurt others and just get away with it.


From your description, she sounded like someone who will probably hurt more people down the road. Eventually if she continues to, one of those will come back to bite her, and affect her negatively.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

Blue Dino said:


> From your description, she sounded like someone who will probably hurt more people down the road. Eventually if she continues to, one of those will come back to bite her, and affect her negatively.


That probably never happens but, I guess I'll take it from here then.


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## InTheWorldOfNiM (Oct 3, 2010)

EarthDominator said:


> I'm not going to bully anyone, I hate bullying. And I know secrets about her, but I promised I'd never tell anyone, which I still will hold on to even though she spread some private information about me, I'm better than her.


Then how do you expect someone who would back-stab you like that feel the same pain you felt??? If you don't have the will to make someone like her truly understand how you feel then why did you make this thread???? Why would you hold on to a promise you made to her when that same person clearly doesn't value you enough to hold on to hers. You would willingly let someone do that to you under the guise of "honor". That kind of attitude just gives someone like her power over you.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

InTheWorldOfNiM said:


> Then how do you expect someone who would back-stab you like that feel the same pain you felt??? If you don't have the will to make someone like her truly understand how you feel then why did you make this post???? Why would you hold on to a promise you made to her when that same person clearly doesn't value you enough to hold on to hers. You would willingly let someone do that to you under the guise of "honor". That kind of attitude just gives someone like her power over you.


Because when I make I promise, I will never break it, no matter what. Call it stupid, but it's how I work. If someone tells me a secret, and asks me to promise her/him to not tell anyone, I won't.


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## InTheWorldOfNiM (Oct 3, 2010)

EarthDominator said:


> Because when I make I promise, I will never break it, no matter what. Call it stupid, but it's how I work. If someone tells me a secret, and asks me to promise her/him to not tell anyone, I won't.


Well, good for you I guess. You clearly have zero leverage over her and whatever revenge fantasies you have, you should probably just ignore it because you definitely don't have the will to indulge it.You don't really want revenge so why make this thread? You only let people like her take advantage of you, so then you go on the internet to vent instead of doing something about it. Either indulge your anger or forget it, Otherwise these threads are pointless. Now thanks to your personality, she gets away with it, way to go.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

InTheWorldOfNiM said:


> Well, good for you I guess. You clearly have zero leverage over her and whatever revenge fantasies you have, you should probably just ignore it because you definitely don't have the will to indulge it.You don't really want revenge so why make this thread? You only let people like her take advantage of you, so then you go on the internet to vent instead of doing something about it. Either indulge your anger or forget it, Otherwise these threads are pointless. Now thanks to your personality, she gets away with it, way to go.


:serious: Thanks, I guess.


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## InTheWorldOfNiM (Oct 3, 2010)

EarthDominator said:


> :serious: Thanks, I guess.


sorry if I sound a little harsh in my last post. I just don't like hearing stories where a crappy person takes advantage of the OP and OP practically lets them get away with it due to the idea that they should be better than that. I've always found that outlook really frustrating. I suppose it's a healthy mind state to have but it doesn't lead to any real justice. The perp still gets away with it and there's no guarantee that karma is going to do its job.


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

InTheWorldOfNiM said:


> sorry if I sound a little harsh in my last post. I just don't like hearing stories where a crappy person takes advantage of the OP and OP practically lets them get away with it due to the idea that they should be better than that. I've always found that outlook really frustrating. I suppose it's a healthy mind state to have but it doesn't lead to any real justice. The perp still gets away with it and there's no guarantee that karma is going to do its job.


It's fine. I don't think I'm going to post anything at all for a while, I just got a hate message for giving advice.


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## InTheWorldOfNiM (Oct 3, 2010)

EarthDominator said:


> It's fine. I don't think I'm going to post anything at all for a while, I just got a hate message for giving advice.


what happen?


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## EarthDominator (Sep 10, 2017)

InTheWorldOfNiM said:


> what happen?


I gave advice but apparently it wasn't good or anything, which he let me know in a rude way. I don't want to say too much about it, the person is on this forum and I don't want it to escalate any further.


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## Sassandclass (Jul 16, 2017)

LonelyLurker said:


> Realise that you're better off without someone who takes but won't give in your life. Try to let go of the anger or desire for revenge (I know, harder said than done), the only person you'll hurt is yourself.


This. Exactly 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## LonelyLurker (Sep 24, 2016)

EarthDominator said:


> I'm not going to bully anyone, I hate bullying. And I know secrets about her, but I promised I'd never tell anyone, which I still will hold on to even though she spread some private information about me, *I'm better than her*.


The emboldened part should tell you what needs to be done and why you should do it. If you were to decide it was your job to teach every bad person you encounter a lesson (when they aren't still actively harming/taking advantage of you), you would be giving others too much power over you, it would probably become your full-time job and likely wouldn't make much of a difference to their behaviour anyway.



EarthDominator said:


> It's fine. I don't think I'm going to post anything at all for a while, I just got a hate message for giving advice.


Use it as practice, take a moment for self-reflection, did you do anything wrong? Did they have a point (amongst the rudeness)? If you/they did, try to keep it in mind and improve as a person for the next time, if you/they didn't, don't let them have enough power over you to drive you away.

Unfortunately, the world is filled with people who don't react appropriately but luckily they aren't everyone. Learning to be able to brush people like that off will prove invaluable in life, so as I said...

Use it as practice.


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## LonelyBoy90 (Dec 30, 2017)

This seems like the type of person just to use you and throw you out. 

I would cut all contact with her, she sounds really toxic, especially since you helped her out first.


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*Groping*

that's what recruiters do to you

Contacting a person IS IMPOSSIBLE by electronic copper cable!
unless you want to wrap the person in 1000s metres of copper cable to squeeze 'em to death or hang 'em hangin' over a fire.

EARS ARE NOT CONTACT! Handshake only. 
want to attach a leash to someone's piercing, drag them along?
shouting into a microphone on other side of the planet is not contacting.

IN SAME ROOM. SEE THE EYES!


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## InTheWorldOfNiM (Oct 3, 2010)

EarthDominator said:


> Well, letting go isn't the main problem I have. It's just the urge for revenge or however you want to call it.


Go and get that revenge


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