# How do you not hate yourself?



## Allegory

serious question. :blank


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## Rest or Real?

I do. Serious answer.


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## lostinthemind

by respecting yourself and telling yourself you like yourself.


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## GaaraAgain

Cut yourself some slack if you mess up in life. Focus on what you're currently doing right or how you will do it right when you try again. Learn from your mistakes/failures, yes, but don't dwell on them or beat yourself up over them.

Learn to accentuate and appreciate your positive features and get over any features you might dislike. You can also try out different styles and looks to see what works best for you.

Be kind to yourself. Take time out to do things you truly enjoy in the way you enjoy them.

Don't get stuck in pits of self-deprecation or obsessing over problems. Venting is one thing, wallowing is another.

Along with the above, say nice things about yourself. So many of us are used to automatically downing ourselves that we find it hard to say anything positive about ourselves. 

---------------------------------
This is all I have to offer so far. I've been struggling with the same thing for a long time. My eternally optimist best friend is helping me with some of these and although they do sound trite, I've really been trying them out and they've been helping. Progress is slow, but it's evident. I wish you the best and hope this helps even a little.


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## King Moonracer

Once you realize that none of the bull**** the media and the social norms tell you are actually imortant, you cant hate yourself. 

Why do you hate yourself? You instantly think of things you have failed at. Chances are, that these things dont matter. Think about what is really important in life. It really is the little things. They will add up.

Oh ya... And who is this self you hate?


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## Phoenix Rising

Write down things that you like in others and you'll find that some of them fit you (possible examples include deep thinker, non-judgmental, remembers birthdays, kind, etc.) and dwell on that for awhile instead of everything you dislike. You have to wrestle with your thoughts and challenge them. It can be mentally exhausting, but it will make a huge difference.


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## Boring Loser

I believe we're kind of taught to be ashamed of ourselves and taught to be offended by things.

and then we're expected to be confident and happy, while still being expected to be sorry for all this stuff we don't even really understand why we should have to be sorry for.

And then we're taught that we're ugly if we don't look like the "beautiful people" or if we have any "imperfection".

With being taught all this stuff, it's hard to get rid of all those thoughts that have been shoved into your head. 

And then people make fun of people or bullying, which is the worst and makes you believe even more that you are "unacceptable." The hell with them. They just wanted to hold you down because maybe they see you as a possible threat to them or something, or they didn't want you to be better than them at anything.

Sometimes you need to be like, "**** everyone. I'm gonna do something for myself and try to make myself happy for once, and if people don't like that, the hell with them cause they're not me." (Well, as long as whatever you're doing isn't going to hurt anyone or get you put in jail or something.)

I think improving yourself is a way to hate yourself less. Whatever you think you need improvement on that is possible to improve, think of ways you can start working on that. Go a little out of your comfort zone to challenge yourself.

Try stuff you're interested in without worrying about how bad you are at it compared to others. Find more things you like doing. 

Be good to your body. Eat better and get exercise.

If the problem is just that almost everyone is ignoring you when you attempt to talk to them, and that makes you feel bad...that's the thing that is the worst for me and makes me feel the worst. I hate it so much and it makes me hate myself. I can fix everything else wrong with myself but still not know how to deal with that. I just try to think, how many times has it seemed to someone else that i was ignoring them? (probably just as much.) And when the person is making it really obvious that they're ignoring only me in particular, then they're just not worth my time. i try not to bother with those people anymore.

I'm still a long way from liking myself at all, but i'm starting to hate myself less than i used to.


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## khmerkid904

Cause I'm totally freaking awesome that's why! Who cares what anyone else thinks. I might be a little shy around people I don't know but that isn't a reason for me to hate myself. Does that make any sense to you?


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## Innamorata

I'm awesome.


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## Lasair

You need to learn to accept who you are - my answer is because I have chosen to help others for the rest of my life


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## ShyGuy86

Because I know I'm a good person with a few good (albeit minor) talents. My problems in life don't descend from the fact I feel like I'm a bad person, but from the fact that I'm afraid I won't be able to show I'm a good person, and that my minor talents will go wasted, or unappreciated.



Innamorata said:


> I'm awesome.


You know that's right. :yes


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## khmerkid904

jhanniffy said:


> You need to learn to accept who you are - my answer is because I have chosen to help others for the rest of my life


:clap That's a great point. I agree that it is about self acceptance. It is all just in our heads. I too have chosen to help others with my time.


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## Farideh

I appreciate and like myself for who I am as a person and for the way that I look.  No one can make me feel bad about myself.


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## zer0small

I do dislike myself.
But alot of these tips will hopefully help. Now it just comes down to applying them >_<


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## rkrocks123

It's pretty hard to stop hating yourself when you don't have any positive qualities. I could list tons of negative things about myself, but I can't come up with anything positive or any talents that I have. I just fail at life.


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## skywatcher

Always do your best, and always be honest with yourself about it. If you ask yourself if you've done your best and you can answer "yes," that is all you need. If your best doesn't measure up to someone else's yardstick of perfection, screw 'em.


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## Matomi

Honestly, i hate myself.


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## StayingMotivated

I do not hate myself  I am a product of millions of years of evolution. So many things had to happen for me to be typing this right now. I am the product of love. I am not perfect and will never be but I love myself and what I HAVE been given.


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## Mithun

with understanding and belief in myself I guess


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## Mithun

StayingMotivated said:


> I do not hate myself  I am a product of millions of years of evolution. So many things had to happen for me to be typing this right now. I am the product of love. I am not perfect and will never be but I love myself and what I HAVE been given.


Agreeable, but sometimes consequences of some acts of mine makes me to hate myself


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## StayingMotivated

Mithun said:


> Agreeable, but sometimes consequences of some acts of mine makes me to hate myself


yes but hate is a strong word. Disappointment is more appropriate  everyone makes mistakes and mistakes have consequences. It's what you do after that makes the difference. It's better to learn from your mistakes and try again than give up. It's never to late.


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## BoringBum

Watch this video to gain insight:






You are not a bad person, in fact you are a good person. At your core, there is goodness.


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## metta

I think, I've made some bad choices, but that doesn't make me a bad person. Each day is what you make of it, and is a new opportunity to improve. Mistakes will happen.


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## Fromheretoeternity

I don't get the hassel I got at school in college and I'm on medication.


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## Joe

Ive done nothing to make me hate myself.


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## humourless

weird woman said:


> I believe we're kind of taught to be ashamed of ourselves and taught to be offended by things.
> 
> and then we're expected to be confident and happy, while still being expected to be sorry for all this stuff we don't even really understand why we should have to be sorry for.
> 
> And then we're taught that we're ugly if we don't look like the "beautiful people" or if we have any "imperfection".
> 
> With being taught all this stuff, it's hard to get rid of all those thoughts that have been shoved into your head.
> 
> And then people make fun of people or bullying, which is the worst and makes you believe even more that you are "unacceptable." The hell with them. They just wanted to hold you down because maybe they see you as a possible threat to them or something, or they didn't want you to be better than them at anything.
> 
> Sometimes you need to be like, "**** everyone. I'm gonna do something for myself and try to make myself happy for once, and if people don't like that, the hell with them cause they're not me." (Well, as long as whatever you're doing isn't going to hurt anyone or get you put in jail or something.)
> 
> *I think improving yourself is a way to hate yourself less*. Whatever you think you need improvement on that is possible to improve, think of ways you can start working on that. Go a little out of your comfort zone to challenge yourself.
> 
> Try stuff you're interested in without worrying about how bad you are at it compared to others. Find more things you like doing.
> 
> Be good to your body. Eat better and get exercise.
> 
> If the problem is just that almost everyone is ignoring you when you attempt to talk to them, and that makes you feel bad...that's the thing that is the worst for me and makes me feel the worst. I hate it so much and it makes me hate myself. I can fix everything else wrong with myself but still not know how to deal with that. I just try to think, how many times has it seemed to someone else that i was ignoring them? (probably just as much.) And when the person is making it really obvious that they're ignoring only me in particular, then they're just not worth my time. i try not to bother with those people anymore.
> 
> I'm still a long way from liking myself at all, but i'm starting to hate myself less than i used to.


Another brilliant quotable quote from ww!!


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## humourless

GaaraAgain said:


> Cut yourself some slack if you mess up in life. Focus on what you're currently doing right or how you will do it right when you try again. Learn from your mistakes/failures, yes, but don't dwell on them or beat yourself up over them.
> 
> Learn to accentuate and appreciate your positive features and get over any features you might dislike. You can also try out different styles and looks to see what works best for you.
> 
> Be kind to yourself. Take time out to do things you truly enjoy in the way you enjoy them.
> 
> Don't get stuck in pits of self-deprecation or obsessing over problems. *Venting is one thing, wallowing is another.*
> 
> Along with the above, say nice things about yourself. *So many of us are used to automatically downing ourselves* that we find it hard to say anything positive about ourselves.
> 
> ---------------------------------
> This is all I have to offer so far. I've been struggling with the same thing for a long time. My eternally optimist best friend is helping me with some of these and although they do sound trite,* I've really been trying* them out and they've been helping. Progress is slow, but it's evident. I wish you the best and hope this helps even a little.


I enjoyed reading your post and I think you have the right attitude for conquering SA!!


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## GaaraAgain

humourless said:


> I enjoyed reading your post and I think you have the right attitude for conquering SA!!


Thanks, I appreciate that!


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## Isis46

I hate myself cos of some bad decision tat I had in my life.... I can't undo any of that n am dwelling with regrets n haring myself every second....
Wen I try to get involved in some activity tat I used to love..... Jus can't do it.... Lost interest in life actually....am jus living for de sake of it....


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## mr hoang

You are stuck with yourself for the rest of your life, so may as well enjoy U


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## Kon

Because others disgust me a lot more and then I'm glad I'm me


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## Colton

I'm down on myself most of the time but I just tell myself that I'm a good person at heart and that I'm a good big brother. I'm trying to improve myself as a person, it's been a slow process but I think I'm a better person than who I was 3 years ago. 

It's cliche but just try not to focus on the negative.


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## Tugwahquah

I really like myself. Im a good hearted person who trys her best. 
Being hateful to myself would be self destructive.


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## moke64916

Allegory said:


> serious question. :blank


Accept yourself for who you are. Stop resisting. Surrender. It's not worth it.


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## Mer Maid

I've struggled with my self-image for a long time! Some of the things that has helped me are:

*1.* Think about the 'specific' things I dislike about myself then I analyze those traits, features, etc. to see if they're really as bad as I've imagined. That keeps me from clumping my entire self into a hate place.

*2.* I look for 'specific' things about myself that I like - that's sometimes harder. Then I find ways to like those features more. _ [Though it may seem silly, here is an example: I have small ears (my mom has always called them "elf ears") and they have a slight point, so I pretend they're Vulcan-like. No, I'm not crazy, I know there is no such thing, but somehow my pretending/fantasizing gives me REAL comfort - silly, but it works for me.]_

*3.* I like to focus on those who love me - since they see the person I really am better than I do and they're able to love me anyway. The things I dislike about myself don't seem to bother them, so why should I let them bother me?

I know all things are "easier said than done", but those are some of the things I use to work on myself!


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## Harcayz

I learned to not hate myself... as often by changing myself to make me who I wanted to be so I could help people, I am far away from perfect, but in my point of view imperfection is perfection, your flaws make you who you are. A way to hate yourself less and make yourself happy when you are feeling down is to make a list, of 10 things you are grateful for and do this every day, and think about those things. Also, after that write 10 things you like about yourself, try and stay positive, don't think of the negative things, it may be easy to think of the negative things, but as soon as you think of one negative thing, they snowball, but likewise, one positive thought can snowball and make you a happier person, remember to make this list again everyday.

Also, if you are in a good mood at the time and aren't criticizing yourself, try to avoid self criticism and hatred by stopping yourself every time a negative thought comes out and like Mer Maid said, try to logically think about whether it is really as bad as you had imagined. Start to remember patterns that lead to the negative state of mind like increased breathing for example and stop yourself before things get really ugly, since as soon as one negative thought starts, many more pop up and you are a self hating mess. 

Remember, you are all beautiful people, it doesn't matter if you have social anxiety or not, you are all wonderful people, and remember you can get over your anxieties, I did, you just have to remember that it is possible and face your fears. Try to smile also, smiles inspire positive thoughts for some reason XD.


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## BovidaeSixteen

By telling myself that life is short, I'm only human and I should enjoy it while it lasts...not wasting my time self loathing...this helps, but I still often drown in my own self-critic.


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## aw1993

i want to know too


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## FabledHero

Allegory said:


> serious question. :blank


By realizing that there is no self. Your past isn't you, you are different every single second. The past doesn't exist anymore.

Personally I well, don't take things too personally lol. I view mistakes as a positive, because they are what make you better. Everyone who is good at things are so because they have failed a lot. Each failure you learn from and then become better. Being good at things is actually a result of many failures. So really the worst thing is probably the fear of failure and or a ton of self-judgment. Because if you never try to do things in the first place you won't be able to improve.

So yeah I don't really judge myself, just as I don't judge others. Judgment clouds and conceals the truth.


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## Pialicious88

i love myself is other people i don't like


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## olesilentone

metta said:


> I think, I've made some bad choices, but that doesn't make me a bad person. Each day is what you make of it, and is a new opportunity to improve. Mistakes will happen.


About the same here. I have really tried to think more and more along these lines and I have been doing better. It makes me feel alright with myself, but I still struggle to not feel slight amongst a majority of people.


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## nicksmithy

A minor superiority complex helps me, although I'm not so sure that's a good thing haha


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## artynerd

You love yourself, that way you will not hate yourself. It sucks when no one likes you, but if you dont like yourself, then thats even worst, you will feel worst too, hurting your own feelings. But if you be your own friend, you will care about how you feel, and you will want to do things that will make you happy.


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## jon 29 uk

i dont hate myself even though its easy to somtimes. i like to remember im just lucky to be here having a go at this potentially awesome life .


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## meepie

Because maybe I can be of some good use to someone else.


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## Help please

Focus on your strong points, forget the bad points...


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## Und3rground

I'm far too amazing to hate myself lol

On a serious level, I like myself as a person. I have many flaws, but I am trying to do something about it rather than putting myself down. I used to be quite hard on myself and to a degree I probably am, but I've realised that being hard on myself doesn't do a lot for me. I love being me and I wouldn't want to be anyone else


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## Raulz0r

I don't hate myself because I am pretty content with who I am, I have about a 20-30% narcissistic personality so that may have something to do with it, I am constantly concerned about my looks, as for my life, although I have very little to no money at all, I somehow try and stay optimistic, I don't have a girlfriend, I am still a virgin, but again I try and stay positive


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## sanspants08

Raulz0r said:


> I don't hate myself because I am pretty content with who I am, I have about a 20-30% narcissistic personality so that may have something to do with it, I am constantly concerned about my looks, as for my life, although I have very little to no money at all, I somehow try and stay optimistic, I don't have a girlfriend, I am still a virgin, but again I try and stay positive


I think staying positive is the key. I count my blessings a lot. Life could be a lot worse. I'll refrain from saying exactly what I like about myself, but really I think I'm just fine. I'm not good at socializing most of the time, and sometimes I'm downright terrible at it. But that doesn't make me dislike myself.

Another important thing to remember is not to hang your entire sense of self on your ability to socialize. Remember that there's a lot more to you, and probably plenty of things you're good at doing. There's a lot more to you than your flaws :yes.


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## andy1984

some self acceptance strategies i have used:

focus on causal relationships - i have no friends because... SA due to being isolated for a long time, which was caused by my parents, which was caused by something completely beyond my control. therefore i am blameless.

focus on redeeming qualities - i have no friends, but... i am a caring person and would make a good friend once i am able to take that opportunity.

stop comparing - you can't compare yourself to others because your histories are fundamentally different.

philosophy - relativism, nihilism... nothing really matters. anyone who thinks they are right about something now will be thought of as wrong in the future. you can't really know anything. there is no foundation to knowledge or thought or reason. existence is the only thing, and you exist.

think about death and tragedy - appreciate that you will die. everyone will die. you will fail. everyone will fail. think about dying. and then live in the moment because its all you have and its all there is.

and this, lol. though it may be a terrible mistake:



nicksmithy said:


> A minor superiority complex helps me, although I'm not so sure that's a good thing haha


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## Mr. SandMan

Realizing how blessed I truelly am.


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## Dying note

I don't ever stop hating myself, but I try to lessen the feeling by finding something I love about another person and letting them know that. The easiest thing for me to do when it comes to other people is give them a compliment, give them a thank you, give them or share with them something. I don't have much but giving in some way helps me not hate myself so much for the reasons I do.


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## SweetNSour82

GaaraAgain said:


> Cut yourself some slack if you mess up in life. Focus on what you're currently doing right or how you will do it right when you try again. Learn from your mistakes/failures, yes, but don't dwell on them or beat yourself up over them.
> 
> Learn to accentuate and appreciate your positive features and get over any features you might dislike. You can also try out different styles and looks to see what works best for you.
> 
> Be kind to yourself. Take time out to do things you truly enjoy in the way you enjoy them.
> 
> Don't get stuck in pits of self-deprecation or obsessing over problems. Venting is one thing, wallowing is another.
> 
> Along with the above, say nice things about yourself. So many of us are used to automatically downing ourselves that we find it hard to say anything positive about ourselves.
> 
> ---------------------------------
> This is all I have to offer so far. I've been struggling with the same thing for a long time. My eternally optimist best friend is helping me with some of these and although they do sound trite, I've really been trying them out and they've been helping. Progress is slow, but it's evident. I wish you the best and hope this helps even a little.


^^ What she said :yes


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## jsgt

I know that I'll make mistakes in life, and that doesnt mean that Im dumb or stupid...it just means that I'm learning. Im not perfect and never will be, so I dont hold myself to that kind of expectation. Im proud of what I've achieved in life so far, and since it is a result of imperfection...I must be doing something right!


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## illneverremember

*not hating yourself*

only read the first two words. thanks. helped a lot.



GaaraAgain said:


> Cut yourself some slack if you mess up in life. Focus on what you're currently doing right or how you will do it right when you try again. Learn from your mistakes/failures, yes, but don't dwell on them or beat yourself up over them.
> 
> Learn to accentuate and appreciate your positive features and get over any features you might dislike. You can also try out different styles and looks to see what works best for you.
> 
> Be kind to yourself. Take time out to do things you truly enjoy in the way you enjoy them.
> 
> Don't get stuck in pits of self-deprecation or obsessing over problems. Venting is one thing, wallowing is another.
> 
> Along with the above, say nice things about yourself. So many of us are used to automatically downing ourselves that we find it hard to say anything positive about ourselves.
> 
> ---------------------------------
> This is all I have to offer so far. I've been struggling with the same thing for a long time. My eternally optimist best friend is helping me with some of these and although they do sound trite, I've really been trying them out and they've been helping. Progress is slow, but it's evident. I wish you the best and hope this helps even a little.


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## RelinquishedHell

By having people who care about you. I doesn't matter who you are, we all need it.


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## thekcw

Because if you're alone in this world, you are your only ally. What does turning on yourself accomplish?


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## NoHeart

I don't hate myself, it's more a case of being disgusted.


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## beothuck1

So many good answers here already! Eeeeee... well, I think you can not hate yourself, by stepping out of your comfort zone and not giving into fear of failure or anything else. 

You can not hate yourself, by loving yourself instead. 

"Love is patient, love is kind...." 

You can not hate yourself, by not letting yourself be abused or taken advantage of by others. 

You have good qualities, embrace those, instead of letting the good in you be masked by your fears. Practice love, starting with yourself. 

Hate can't exist where true love exists.


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## eveningbat

I can only add, praise yourself for every your achievement (in your thoughts), but be proud of what you have accomplished and remind yourself that some other people you know would not do that or would not do that as good as you did.


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## cosmicslop

Imagine yourself as the Queen Beyonce.

But you have to remember hating yourself is a product from external messages telling you what you should be and not something that's created from yourself that is warranted and right. Usually those messages are unintentional and subliminal without you ever knowing, and that's why you believe you deserve to hate yourself (Especially regarding the general population's stance on mental health issues. Holy god, are they unforgiving and extremely ignorant of this topic. Of course that'll make someone suffering from mental issues hate themselves). When you keep judging yourself based on those messages of what you think you should be but are not over time you develop low self-esteem and self-hate. To get over such feelings of hate, you need to reclaim your sense of self-worth and life as being only yours and yours alone. You take care and nurture it slowly from all the abuse it's gotten from being hijacked by everything/everyone else. Simply put, you need to live your life as the metaphorical version of the phrase "**** off."

You can only start feeling better about yourself when you think realistically as to what counts as progress based on where you currently are at your life. A lot of people here think they're losers because they're not doing 'normal' things people they're age are doing eg: not living with their parents, having friends, having a relationship, etc. But they're thinking in some abstract idea that they think they should be that instead of thinking of what they can do now to be better.

Sometimes progress is just managing to get out of the door in their house. Getting better is made of very tiny steps. It's going to take time to remember you own your life and that it's something worthy of respect from you and everyone else.

So You have to be kind to yourself always. Trust me I know self-hate and I still deal with it daily. But man I do know I've grown a lot over the past years. My 18 year old self would be devastated to know where I am now in my life and deem me a failure. What what the **** do they know about real success.

Let me finish things off with a nice quote to wrap it up:
*"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."*
e. e. cummings


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## johanl

*Im trying not to hate myself but....*

I've been trying to not hate myself and ive been trying to find the goods in me, but i just cant find any. This girl im seeing, she gets mad and i worsen it because, i overreact, overdramatic. She's even said im more emotional and dramatic than a girl on her period. Its true. I stopped hurting myself. But i still havent changed. Ive never heard or met anyone who didnt point out the wrongs in me. I basically cry myself almost everyday of the week. :help I get too pissy too easily, i over think, im trying not hate myself, but ive never heard anyone point out anything good in me. im trying to change. please help! :help


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## ak3891

johanl said:


> I've been trying to not hate myself and ive been trying to find the goods in me, but i just cant find any. This girl im seeing, she gets mad and i worsen it because, i overreact, overdramatic. She's even said im more emotional and dramatic than a girl on her period. Its true. I stopped hurting myself. But i still havent changed. Ive never heard or met anyone who didnt point out the wrongs in me. I basically cry myself almost everyday of the week. :help I get too pissy too easily, i over think, im trying not hate myself, but ive never heard anyone point out anything good in me. im trying to change. please help! :help


"Your relationships will only improve when you improve the relationship with yourself". It may seem hard and like an overused term but that's because its totally true. You can do many things to improve the relationship with yourself for example start or carry on perusing a hobby. We keep hobbies because they are activities which we enjoy doing in our own personal times and no one forces it upon us. If not try a new hobby like yoga. You'll occupy your time and feel great.

Don't try and change yourself, there is someone who fits your description perfectly. That's the whole point of improving the relationship between yourself. If this girl is giving you slack or doesn't understand you why on earth would you date her?! It seems like she doesn't help at all when it comes to your problems.

Dude take my advice.


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## Astro

ChampagneYear said:


> Imagine yourself as the Queen Beyonce.
> 
> But you have to remember hating yourself is a product from external messages telling you what you should be and not something that's created from yourself that is warranted and right. Usually those messages are unintentional and subliminal without you ever knowing, and that's why you believe you deserve to hate yourself (Especially regarding the general population's stance on mental health issues. Holy god, are they unforgiving and extremely ignorant of this topic. Of course that'll make someone suffering from mental issues hate themselves). When you keep judging yourself based on those messages of what you think you should be but are not over time you develop low self-esteem and self-hate. To get over such feelings of hate, you need to reclaim your sense of self-worth and life as being only yours and yours alone. You take care and nurture it slowly from all the abuse it's gotten from being hijacked by everything/everyone else. Simply put, you need to live your life as the metaphorical version of the phrase "**** off."
> 
> You can only start feeling better about yourself when you think realistically as to what counts as progress based on where you currently are at your life. A lot of people here think they're losers because they're not doing 'normal' things people they're age are doing eg: not living with their parents, having friends, having a relationship, etc. But they're thinking in some abstract idea that they think they should be that instead of thinking of what they can do now to be better.
> 
> Sometimes progress is just managing to get out of the door in their house. Getting better is made of very tiny steps. It's going to take time to remember you own your life and that it's something worthy of respect from you and everyone else.
> 
> So You have to be kind to yourself always. Trust me I know self-hate and I still deal with it daily. But man I do know I've grown a lot over the past years. My 18 year old self would be devastated to know where I am now in my life and deem me a failure. What what the **** do they know about real success.
> 
> Let me finish things off with a nice quote to wrap it up:
> *"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."*
> e. e. cummings


Great post, and pretty inspirational. You are right in that we shouldn't judge ourselves based on the past, I have done this as well, but I have learned to be more kind to myself. Because the truth is...
improvement only comes through being kind, loving and compassionate to yourself, berating yourself only perpetuates the negativity


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## zeebraynz

GaaraAgain said:


> Cut yourself some slack if you mess up in life. Focus on what you're currently doing right or how you will do it right when you try again. Learn from your mistakes/failures, yes, but don't dwell on them or beat yourself up over them.
> 
> Learn to accentuate and appreciate your positive features and get over any features you might dislike. You can also try out different styles and looks to see what works best for you.
> 
> Be kind to yourself. Take time out to do things you truly enjoy in the way you enjoy them.
> 
> Don't get stuck in pits of self-deprecation or obsessing over problems. Venting is one thing, wallowing is another.
> 
> Along with the above, say nice things about yourself. So many of us are used to automatically downing ourselves that we find it hard to say anything positive about ourselves.
> 
> ---------------------------------
> This is all I have to offer so far. I've been struggling with the same thing for a long time. My eternally optimist best friend is helping me with some of these and although they do sound trite, I've really been trying them out and they've been helping. Progress is slow, but it's evident. I wish you the best and hope this helps even a little.


THIS! it is irrational to hate one self


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## InimitableJeeves

It doesn't occur to me to hate myself. I don't hate anyone.

I may be disappointed in myself and then I try to improve on my behavior.


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## powercat

I wonder how it is to really 'love' myself. Its unimaginable.


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## Winterwalk

Put yourself in the service of a greater good. Then you will feel you are valuable. Volunteer at an animal shelter etc, etc. The possibilities are endless.


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## notoreality

consider there is only 1 you.

love yourself & dislike everyone else. easiest way to begin with.

you can relearn to tolerate people as you go along.


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## Bawsome

That little voice in your head, dont just sit there believe everything it says, change it for the better, or alternatively, transcend the monkey mind and come to be in the moment. the first one is a little easier! but really you should try both :lol


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## zonebox

1. By trying not to be judgmental. I find that it *always *comes back to bite me in the !$#%. It really does always turn against me, as I build unreal expectations out of people I usually don't even know and eventually I start to turn against myself.

2. Try to be a kind person, which is a lot easier when you are not judgmental. I find being kind, actually does a lot to actually make you feel better about yourself.

3. Don't place unreal expectations on your family, and don't place many expectations at all on strangers. By placing expectations on others you will find yourself disappointed a lot.

4. Don't compare yourself to other people, you are not them. Don't do it to make yourself feel more powerful, and don't do it to wallow in self pity.

5. Be happy with what you have.

This is what I do, I am basically a live and let live sort of dude and it generally serves me well. When I start to get depressed, and hate myself it almost always comes down to one of the above. Being judgmental is usually the culprit, I hate to say. Negative judgement usually ties in with everything above in that list, and makes life hellish.

Best of luck.


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