# A question for non-smokers



## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

Non-smokers: would you be in a relationship with someone who smokes? And what if your partner started smoking - would that be enough grounds for a break-up?


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## Zeppelin (Jan 23, 2012)

No because smoking smells bad, is gross, and a major waste of money. It's also unhealthy, so I basically wouldn't want to have to deal with the health effects with the partner later in life. 
And yes, smoking would be enough grounds if they were to refuse to stop.

The only exception for this is if they decided to quit/quoted smoking.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

Hmm.....there'd definitely be conflict if I were.

I really don't know if I could tolerate that. The smell of smoke gives me a headache (and causes other obvious health problems), so I tend to hold my breath or stand far away (which looks awkward) when around people who smoke......they'd have to never smoke around me or my living space (or smell of it when around me). 

Also, they couldn't smoke in their car because just sitting in a smoker's car and then getting into mine makes my car stink for awhile. That, or we'd have to agree to take separate cars or mine (but they couldn't smell of smoke), lol.

It's a shame, though, because a lot of smokers (and drinkers - I don't drink, either) are cool.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

I can't even associate with people who smoke. I don't have asthma, but I have a really bad reaction similar to an asthma attack when I accidentally inhale secondhand smoke. My airways immediately constrict and I can barely breathe. Then I start wheezing and coughing, and my throat stays phlegm-y for a while afterwards. Sometimes I think i'm going to pass out or suffocate.


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## Bluestar29 (Oct 26, 2013)

No.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Ugggggggggggh 

Hate, hate, HATE smoke and everything that comes with it... 

But, umm... I could look past it as a habit, but not if it's in my face. If she smokes in the car or in the house, then we have ourselves a deal breaker.


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## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

I have asthma, so yes its a total deal breaker for me.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Would break it off with her if she started smoking. It makes everything on her stink, down to her panties.


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## licorice (Oct 5, 2013)

I would date a light smoker, but I think the smell of a heavy smoker might be too much. The smell doesn't bother me when I pass people on the street who've been smoking, but I remember my aunt was a heavy smoker and the air in her house was kind of nasty.


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## lilyamongthorns (Aug 13, 2012)

I remember back in the days when Facebook was new there was a popular group called "I thought you were cute until I saw you pick up that cigarette."


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## Puppet Master (Jan 1, 2012)

veron said:


> Non-smokers: would you be in a relationship with someone who smokes? And what if your partner started smoking - would that be enough grounds for a break-up?


No I would not date a girl who smokes and yes it would be enough reason to split.


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## SuperSky (Feb 16, 2011)

No. My housemate smokes and doesn't even seem to realise that she fills the whole house with the smell of it. It's awful. I can't even imagine trying to be close to someone who smells like that.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

Casual smoking on occasion(at social events or a cigar to celebrate) I'd have no issue with but I have asthma so a full on smoker is out of the question. 

I have no issues with herb though, I indulge myself in speels & the smoke is totally different in scent & effect on my asthma


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

I would be worried and concerned, but I wouldn't consider it a deal breaker. I might be passing out on a good match otherwise.


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## A name (Dec 5, 2012)

Smoking is disgusting and annoying but if I really liked them I wouldn't leave them because of it.


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## CheekyBunny (Nov 10, 2013)

Social smoker I could probably tolerate but other than that, no ans yeah it'd probably be a deal breaker. It's not very nice when you kiss a guy and he tastes like cigarettes.


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## thisismeyo (Feb 15, 2013)

Well if they were planning on stopping then yes. But I couldn't imagine being with a smoker for the rest of my life, having kids with, etc


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

No.


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## Thedood (Nov 27, 2013)

I'd much rather she didn't smoke, but if she absolutely has to, I would at least appreciate it if she didn't smoke around me and especially not at all when we're visiting my family. I'd also hope it's something she'd try to kick and not be content with smoking 3 packs a day or something like that.


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## PillsHere (Feb 22, 2012)

Depends on the kind. All the smokers I know are courteous enough to take it into the garage or outside, and even then they aren't chain smokers.
In that scenario, yes, I would. If they're putting down a pack or two everyday, probably not.


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## cuppy (Oct 15, 2011)

I don't think I could :s


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

I would date someone who smokes. And if my partner started smoking, I wouldn't love it (because I'd be worried about his health), but I wouldn't break up with him over something like that.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

if they only did it sparingly - like when drinking or something, then maybe i could deal with it. 

chain smoking or having them every day, i don't think i could be with them. i hate the smell. it reminds me of cheap and tacky.. basically things i don't want associated with a girl i'm into (no offense smokers, just past experiences).


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

veron said:


> Non-smokers: would you be in a relationship with someone who smokes?


 Yes. But I'd expect them to set up one room with some kind of ventilation system to suck out the smoke. I used to smoke and it just destroys your electronics and furniture/walls/carpet/etc.

I'd probably use the same room. I don't smoke cigarettes anymore but I still smoke a cigar when I can afford one.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

As long as they aren't addicted and it's only occasionally. I couldn't handle the type that has to smoke upon waking up in the morning and after every meal. 

My 2nd bf was addicted though. I'm not sure how I kissed him.


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## theCARS1979 (Apr 26, 2010)

veron said:


> Non-smokers: would you be in a relationship with someone who smokes? And what if your partner started smoking - would that be enough grounds for a break-up?


no but it would annoy me , enough to every time they light one up Id move somewhere else


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## Kalliber (Aug 18, 2012)

I wouldn't date a smoker, couldn't do it. If they started smoking they'll be conflict but idk..


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## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

While I'm not the biggest fan of the smell of smokers, I wouldn't let that hold me back from dating one. The smell is tolerable though for me. It's not a deal breaker for me at all. I don't associate it with their personality or a negative about them.


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## avoidobot3000 (Aug 22, 2010)

I used to smoke, but as a non-smoker I wouldn't want to date a regular smoker. I wouldn't want to kiss someone with bad breath. If they just started up, I would probably help them to quit.


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## Apathie (Dec 21, 2013)

Hell no.
I wouldn't even kiss my partner if they hadn't brushed their teeth beforehand. lol (extreme example)
I'm kind of obsessively-cleanly.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

It would take a _lot_, they would have to tick literally every other box for me and I'd still be sad they smoked. It is a massive turn off for me, massive.

My dad smoked in the house all the time and it made everything stink of smoke. You don't really realise at first but then you leave the room and that awful smell is everywhere :X and like you literally have to wash your clothes to get rid of it, and it's in your hair so you have to wash that too.

After so many years of regular smoking it sounds like they're coughing up lungs in the morning and then you're really worried about their health all the time and ahhhhh. No.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

veron said:


> Non-smokers: would you be in a relationship with someone who smokes?


If she had a really hot bod.


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## GotAnxiety (Oct 14, 2011)

What no chain smoking in bed well having sex!!??

Im just kidding. I would quit for my partner cause i would love her so much and that love would help me quit.

I'd be to busy having sex to bother be thinking about smoking. lol


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## MCHB (Jan 1, 2013)

While I have no issues with those that smoke, I would not date a smoker.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

I think it's a turn-off, pretty big one at that, but definitely not a deal-breaker.


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## Crimson Lotus (Jul 26, 2013)

I couldn't have any interest in someone so irrational/self destructive.


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

I have, but then again I did love him lol. I was more concerned for his health than anything else because he was a heavy smoker. If I was just starting to date someone and had no proper attachment to them and they were a heavy smoker it might bother me depending on the smell. Since my nan is a chain smoker maybe I've just become used to the smell, but it never seems to bother me too much, although it really comes off strong on leather jackets. uke


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## saltyleaf (Dec 30, 2011)

if it was johnny depp or rufus sewell, yes
other than that no, it's a deal breaker for me. i could probably tolerate it if it had no smell but it's not healthy and im not with you so you can drop dead 10yrs from now.


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## StarDude (May 29, 2011)

I'd never date a smoker, probably even weed would be enough to turn me off. I'd have to call it quits if she started smoking, it's so disgusting to me. :no


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Smoking is a deal breaker for me.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

I'm a on again off again smoker and no I couldn't care less if she smokes.


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## Lizzy84 (Dec 29, 2013)

I don't smoke myself, but actually like the smell (yeah, I'm weird). I don't know where that comes from. But it wouldn't bother me at all if a guy smoked. I guess I would be concerned if he did it in the house and the ceiling started to turn brown (happened to one of my cousins), but otherwise no.


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## Lizzy84 (Dec 29, 2013)

Edit: Don't *usually *smoke myself. By that I mean possibly once or twice a year tops.

p.s Where is the 'edit' button for posts?


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## Wacky Wednesdays (Apr 10, 2011)

Yes my bf smokes and it's pretty annoying. He's tried to quit once before and he knows not to smoke around me. We've discussed it and he will have to quit before we have any kids. Smoking around children is a deal breaker for me. How can people do that ? :no


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## GygaSHIFT (Jan 1, 2014)

My anxiety actually prevents me from liking people who drink, smoke, are a ****, or have had underage sex :/


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## Gwynevere (Oct 6, 2013)

veron said:


> Non-smokers: would you be in a relationship with someone who smokes?


No, absolutely not.



veron said:


> And what if your partner started smoking - would that be enough grounds for a break-up?


It wouldn't be enough on it's own to break up, but if they ever smoked around me that would end it.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Weed smoking is fine though. The smell is much better than tobacco.


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

Smoking is a deal breaker.


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

Smoke what? Weed? If so, that'd be cool. Cigarettes? Alright, but not great.


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## Dane (Jul 27, 2009)

I could deal with a light smoker, say five cigarettes a day or less, but not a heavy one.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

veron said:


> Non-smokers: would you be in a relationship with someone who smokes? And what if your partner started smoking - would that be enough grounds for a break-up?


I would be incredibly confused.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Meh, I have been with guys that smoked. The problem is when you kiss them it tastes nasty so I say go brush your teeth.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

I have asthma and the smell of smoke bothers me so much. It always gives me sharp headaches and such. Making out with a smoker is nothing short of disgusting, its like making out with an ash tray. Their breath is nasty as well, teeth yellow, clothes reek, yuck! It would be a deal breaker for me. I've tried to deal with them in the past, and it just doesn't work out. This is refering to cigarettes btw, weed isn't a big issue.


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## Mlochail (Jul 11, 2012)

Who cares, as long as she's not a serious drug addict.


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## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

Well, what triggered me to finally break up with my boyfriend was the fact that he picked up cigarettes again (but there were other issues too). He called me emotionally immature and silly for breaking up over something as trivial as smoking. But this is a big deal to me. And it's reassuring to know I'm not the only one who thinks so.


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## SummerRae (Nov 21, 2013)

Somewhat.. I mean, I can't deal with chain smokers, like that's off limits, but if it's a drag here and there, whatever. I personally can't stand smoking, but if I liked the person I don't think I'd have a problem if it was every once in awhile.


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## SummerRae (Nov 21, 2013)

Lizzy84 said:


> Edit: Don't *usually *smoke myself. By that I mean possibly once or twice a year tops.
> *
> p.s Where is the 'edit' button for posts?*


Right next to the 'QUOTE' button. Do you see it, or have you found it already?


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## BrookeHannigan (Mar 29, 2012)

I already am
I really don't care about it,im a non smoker/drinker etc myself
also the kissing thing is bull**** to me since ive never kissed him thinking god his lips taste nasty lol..just sweet love ;d


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

I don't care. It's her life...her choice.

Edit: If we're talking about smoking weed, I'd only break up with her if she didn't share.


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

I've dated smokers before, it's repulsive. Never again.


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

komorikun said:


> Weed smoking is fine though. The smell is much better than tobacco.


I don't know..
I think there's something really quite nice about the smell of a pipe. Weed smell is ok though and cigarettes are just awful though.
But for all of them, I want to be able to leave when I want to breathe clean air again, so smoking indoors wouldn't be that good.


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## Lizzy84 (Dec 29, 2013)

"Right next to the 'QUOTE' button. Do you see it, or have you found it already?"

I have quote and multi-quote. No edit. I feel cheated! (cry)


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## Mochyn (Jan 6, 2014)

I would never date a smoker again, I used to have to tolerate it if I was in a club or pub but since the smoking ban came in I've not been around smokers, so when I do get a whiff of smoke or the smell of cigarettes on someone it makes me heave. 

Aside from the smell and obvious passive smoking health risks, I wouldn't want to be friends with or date someone that chose cigarettes over LIFE! Smoking kills and I don't want to lose anyone else I care about.


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

Considering the fact that the smell of smoke itself gives me a huge headache, absolutely not. I also find the habit a little repulsing and it can lead to yellow teeth, premature aging and gum disease - which is not attractive to me.


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## mb47 (Sep 30, 2013)

I wouldn't want to date a smoker if I had a choice. Ideally, I'd have a few dates, get them hooked on me, and then say if you want another date you gotta quit smoking. I don't think you can insist they quit from the get-go because you don't know whether you're compatible or whether you have a right to say anything in someone else's life.

I would imagine it wouldn't be pleasant to kiss a smoker either. 

If they're an occasional smoker (once or twice a year) that's different.

If you love someone, then it's hard to hate what they do to themselves and have no control over it.


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## mb47 (Sep 30, 2013)

Wacky Wednesdays said:


> Yes my bf smokes and it's pretty annoying. He's tried to quit once before and he knows not to smoke around me. We've discussed it and he will have to quit before we have any kids. Smoking around children is a deal breaker for me. How can people do that ? :no


I like your rule! It's completely logical, and it saves more than one life.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

wow all this smoker hate lol. Before I smoked, I actually liked the smell of it and found people who smoked more attractive. I dont like this big "health" argument, you can only make it if you eat healthy and do not drink, otherwise stfu.


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## Fooza (Sep 4, 2013)

Depends if she's a keeper, then I may tolerate it. Although only to a point till I eventually make her quit.


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## kevinseniorof2013 (Aug 21, 2013)

I would never date anyone that smokes. And I won't stay in a relationship with anyone that starts smoking. Period.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

The thing I see here is SA and depression go hand in hand... How many of us here are depressed? (Quite a few I expect).

Its a well known fact with scientific evidence that depressed people are more likely to smoke.

Some quotes off the net:

"Smoking may hide depression in some smokers"

"Adults with depression are more likely to be cigarette smokers"

"It is more likely that individuals with anxiety and depression use smoking as a form of self-medication"

How is this relevant to what was asked?

Most non smokers here would never date a smoker... But what if there was more to it than just having a bad habit that they enjoy? What if it was someone's way of self medicating?

A lot of people here use alcohol to self medicate. They may not enjoy being drunk and may not do it recreationally, but just to cope a bit better now and again. So whats so different about someone self medicating by smoking? (apart from the smell)

Quite a few people here who are depressed/have SA are looking for a relationship with someone who has similar problems (for the understanding, support and maybe help to get better). So compromise may have to be the key.... Even if that means being with a smoker who smokes to self medicate as i'm sure if or when their depression or anxiety is cured, they probably wont need to self medicate by smoking and will probably quit


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## TheDarkGuardian (Jun 1, 2013)

*Picks up cigarette and lights it*.

Smoking is to the individual, it's their body and their own business. If you can't date a smoker then fine, but at least have enough standards to apply to yourself - do you binge eat to the point of morbid obesity? do you drink so much you're rarely sober?


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## TheDarkGuardian (Jun 1, 2013)

pete24 said:


> The thing I see here is SA and depression go hand in hand... How many of us here are depressed? (Quite a few I expect).
> 
> Its a well known fact with scientific evidence that depressed people are more likely to smoke.
> 
> ...


It's a very interesting way of looking at it, I have to deal with a lot of crap in my life and my drug - the cigarette is what I feel understands me the most. It'll kill me for sure, but given what I've gone through, death sometimes feels like a release. I was on medications for antidepressants but stopped because I was getting better, I'm in a much better shape than I was a couple of years ago and grown up significantly in an emotional capacity but now the things I face in life are dearer and I need that help to get me through that hill.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

No. I get pissed just having to walk behind someone who's smoking, billowing clouds floating over their shoulder SMACK right into my face. It smells like ****. I also don't want a girlfriend with super yellow teeth, the associated health issues, bla bla bla.

Yes, anyone can do anything they want. K. Great. Just don't do that **** around me or I will get pissed. I don't want to be pissed all the time, therefore no chimney girlfriend.

I do enjoy an occasional hookah tokage w/flavored tobacco, that's fine. Weed is fine, in moderation.


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## sociallyawkward85 (Aug 7, 2011)

NO! I hate smokers I get irritated people they are around me.


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## UltraMagnus (Jan 25, 2014)

It's never really bothered me.


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## TheDarkGuardian (Jun 1, 2013)

UltraMagnus said:


> It's never really bothered me.


You're a massive Autobot of course smoke wouldn't affect you the slightest bit :b


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