# Question for Girls



## shynesshellasucks (May 10, 2008)

Other than looks what is it that spikes your interest in certain guys? Can you get into specifics? Is it the interesting stories they tell you? Is there any interesting lifestyles or interests that a guy may have that attracts you or turns you off? Certain careers that attracts you or turn you off? What about a guy's way of dressing, are there certain styles that attracts you or turns you off? Do you like tattooed guys or guys with other different styles? Does a guy hanging out with a bunch of friends or having some cool friends make him more attractive? Are there any specific type of jokes that really get to you?

or are all of these factors not all that important, or is attraction for males hard to describe? Discuss anything related to this topic.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

I met a guy once at a party. He wasn't stunning but wasn't unattractive either. Spoke with an Australian accent and was really nice and charming. One thing that stuck out in my head was when he said that he loved Pride and Prejudice (the book, not a movie version).

One guy I went to high school with was always very quiet. He was sorta friends with a few of my friends, so I saw him like everyday. I think he may have spoken like twice to me, but I always had a huge crush on him because I guess I thought he was really cool being a skinny six foot tall Russian guy who never spoke. He didn't dress very well, either. It was stupid, I guess.

I have a crush on the one punk rock guy in my tiny town because he's the one punk rock guy in my town. It's moronic because I would never date him, I know how he treats women (not well). But I can't deny a stupid, base attraction to his guitar playing, chain smoking, boyishly good looking, hobag self. I am always careful to avoid him whenever I see him.

One guy I was positively enthralled with was absolutely gorgeous, dressed fabulously. I thought he was shyer than me, more awkward than me. I found this really, really interesting. But, it turns out that he was only that way because he felt so uncomfortable around me and never bothered telling me. The personality traits I thought he had were totally inaccurate.

I only am talking about these four guys in particular because they were the first to pop into my head when it comes to guys I've been attracted to.

Also, if a guy's with a group of friends I'd consider him completely unapproachable and will be totally weirded out if I don't know him and he tries to speak to me while surrounded by these total stranger bros, no matter how cool they may be. Careers don't really matter to me, still in college. Tattoos I generally don't ever see until we've become better acquainted, so it isn't really an issue either way. I guess they're sort of a turnoff.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

Well every woman is different, so you will get a million different answers to this question.

For me personally, sense of humor is the number one thing I notice. If a guy makes me laugh it's a definite turn on. But I don't like it when it seems like they are trying too hard. It needs to come naturally.

I do love tattoos, but it's not a necessity that a guy have one for me to be attracted to him.

Personality is extremely important to me. Physically I find a lot of different traits attractive, but if they don't have a personality that I really enjoy, then the physical doesn't matter to me. He could be the hottest guy in the world, but if our personalities don't fit then I won't feel attracted to him. Also I can become physically attracted to someone that I normally wouldn't based on how well I like their personality.

He doesn't have to be the Most Interesting Man in the World. He just needs to have a personality that meshes well with mine.

I couldn't care less what kind of job he has or how many friends he hangs out with. I don't like to be judged based on shallow standards, so I wouldn't judge another that way either.

The main things that turn me off are ignorance, and any form of hatred (such as misogyny, racism, etc). Also being an *******. Not really a big fan of *******s tbh.

Oh and having a big ego. I haaaaaaaaate people who think their **** don't stink. Biggest turn off ever.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

I like it when they do uncool things and act like they _know _they're not cool.

It's always nice to see someone who's comfortable enough in their own skin to laugh at themselves.


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## FadeToOne (Jan 27, 2011)

lol, dude.

Some guy in another thread said it perfectly. What women say they want, and what they respond to (get their panties wet) is fundamentally different. Even in a seemingly happy marriage that the woman stays with the guy for 30 years...at the end of the day her body would still rather be with the drunk jackass at the bar. And when she does go for that guy, those are of course only temporary flings.

There is no hope. Love and relationships are all a lie, they are fictional notions that do not exist in the real world.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

I mean, I listed four different guys - four specific scenarios - to try to avoid just laundry listing traits I may or may not be attracted to when it's all gathered up in a single male. I tried to pinpoint how and why I became interested in the first place.

Is there any way I could have possibly answered this and avoided your mockery, FadeToOne?


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## FadeToOne (Jan 27, 2011)

bezoomny said:


> I mean, I listed four different guys - four specific scenarios - to try to avoid just laundry listing traits I may or may not be attracted to when it's all gathered up in a single male. I tried to pinpoint how and why I became interested in the first place.
> 
> Is there any way I could have possibly answered this and avoided your mockery, FadeToOne?


Well another point is that women will also deny it to the very end and try to convince themselves and others that it isn't true. Hence why a woman would even force herself to stay in a marriage with a guy for decades. Which is respectable, because at least she's trying to fight the way she's wired. But at the end of the day one can't stop being human and being apart of the natural world.


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## madsv (Mar 19, 2010)

FadeToOne said:


> Well another point is that women will also deny it to the very end and try to convince themselves and others that it isn't true. Hence why a woman would even force herself to stay in a marriage with a guy for decades. Which is respectable, because at least she's trying to fight the way she's wired. But at the end of the day one can't stop being human and being apart of the natural world.


Maybe some women would do it, but not all. The same applies to men

I really think it is sad that so many of you guys here sees women as stereotypes. Every man and woman is different. You simply cant say, women is like this and men is like this. It is plain bs


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## FadeToOne (Jan 27, 2011)

madsv said:


> Maybe some women would do it, but not all. The same applies to men
> 
> I really think it is sad that so many of you guys here sees women as stereotypes. Every man and woman is different. You simply cant say, women is like this and men is like this. It is plain bs


Again, this is not a conscious decision that makes the person good or bad. It's how people's bodies are wired.

And yes, obviously guys do the same. If there is someone that is my match in every way, but she is of a very unappealing body type, no matter how hard I try not to, I will always find other girls more attractive on a physical level.

That's why I said there is no hope.


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## leave me alone (Apr 1, 2011)

FadeToOne said:


> lol, dude.
> 
> Some guy in another thread said it perfectly. What women say they want, and what they respond to (get their panties wet) is fundamentally different. Even in a seemingly happy marriage that the woman stays with the guy for 30 years...at the end of the day her body would still rather be with the drunk jackass at the bar. And when she does go for that guy, those are of course only temporary flings.
> 
> There is no hope. Love and relationships are all a lie, they are fictional notions that do not exist in the real world.


I tend to agree, but deep inside i am questioning whether it is really true or it is just my frustration speaking. I hope it is the latter, otherwise i am really screwed.


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## madsv (Mar 19, 2010)

FadeToOne said:


> Again, this is not a conscious decision that makes the person good or bad. It's how people's bodies are wired.


The human body is not black and white. People reactions are different depending on their culture, upbringing, genes etc. You cant say that women are this way and men are this way.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

I'm going to ignore the rising ever-going SAS debate that is starting in this thread & just answer the OP before it gets totally derailed.

Physically what I'm most attracted to are the strong & protective types. They exercise so they are quite strong. I am very fond of a guy that is covered with tattoos. (I have a couple myself.) I prefer dark hair on guys. I don't know what it is, but I never seem to fall for blondes.

Personality-wise is doesn't matter if they are shy or outgoing. As long as I can get to know the real them & they are compatible with my personality. I like men to be protective of me & yet gentle at the same time. Also, a sense of humour is nice, but they need to know when to be serious & compassionate.

That's usually what attracts me the most. & FadeToOne, that's what gets my panties wet. I'm not gonna settle for a man that I'm not attracted to in these ways.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

FadeToOne said:


> Well another point is that women will also deny it to the very end and try to convince themselves and others that it isn't true. Hence why a woman would even force herself to stay in a marriage with a guy for decades. Which is respectable, because at least she's trying to fight the way she's wired. But at the end of the day one can't stop being human and being apart of the natural world.


So because I'm 'wired' female, I'm automatically lying to myself and actually have no idea what I'm attracted to?

Thanks for figuring that out for me, chief. I'll go back into the kitchen now and stare at shiny things. I didn't realize that _any_ conversation regarding relationships is "man talk."


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## shynesshellasucks (May 10, 2008)

thanks for the responses



FadeToOne said:


> lol, dude.
> 
> Some guy in another thread said it perfectly. What women say they want, and what they respond to (get their panties wet) is fundamentally different.


Come on what makes you say that? All of the girl posts in this thread seem believable and not far-fetched. You also gotta keep in mind that these are girls that suffer from SA so they may be more receptive towards shy guys.

Also do you posses any of the qualities these girls are talking about? Like for example most girls (like au Lait) say they like guys with a personality. Most SA guys really struggle getting their personality out and making girls laugh and because of this it may be a huge reason why they struggle with women; this rings true in many cases.

You are probably one of those guys that believe the "bad boy gets laid, nice guy doesn't" myth.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I like guys that are on the nerdy side, that dress fashionably NOT gangster, are on the shy side but have a sort of quiet confidence, and happen to be skilled at a lot of stuff...


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## Revenwyn (Apr 11, 2011)

Honestly I don't notice if a man is attractive or not. What gets me interested in them is if they talk to me or not. My husband was 260 pounds when we met. It didn't bother me at all.


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## rainbowOne (Sep 26, 2010)

If a guy opens a door for me, offers to carry something heavy I'm carrying, helps me out, etc, that's good. Chivalry is always good in a guy.
Someone who likes to have discussions about things, like, depth I guess is the word. I dunno but I think people here will understand it. I seem to think more than most people, I like if a guy will hear my thought out without going "yeah whatever" or laughing at me.

Oh yeah, if a guy laughs at me, I automatically shut down to him, forever.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

Off the top of my head: Humour. Polite. Chivalry. Genuine. Shy. Smiles alot.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Good sense of humor.
Well-mannered.
Intelligent.
Educated (although not a must.)
Loyal.
Humble. 
Responsible. 
Even-tempered. 
Good hygiene.
Reasonably open minded.
Isn't a motor-mouth or a know-it-all!


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## Fantas Eyes (Mar 23, 2011)

kindness, intelligence, and sense of humor


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

bezoomny said:


> I mean, I listed four different guys - four specific scenarios - to try to avoid just laundry listing traits I may or may not be attracted to when it's all gathered up in a single male. I tried to pinpoint how and why I became interested in the first place.
> 
> Is there any way I could have possibly answered this and avoided your mockery, FadeToOne?


No. Resistance is futile.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

shynesshellasucks said:


> Like for example most girls (like au Lait) say they like guys with a personality. Most SA guys really struggle getting their personality out and making girls laugh and because of this it may be a huge reason why they struggle with women; this rings true in many cases.


Oh I hope I didn't make any shy guys feel as if they are doomed based on what I said about personality.

The thing is, there are many different types of personalities. Being reserved and quiet is just as much of a personality type as being loud and outgoing is. I think society makes us believe that we all have to be in each others faces in order to have a good personality but that is simply not true.

I like shy guys. I think it's cute. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Plus, I'm shy myself and I have trouble showing my personality to people who I don't know very well too, so I understand what it's like.

To me a good personality is being thoughtful, compassionate, easy going, kind hearted, open minded...an all around good person. Also as far as sense of humor goes, he doesn't have to be a non-stop laugh riot. Sometimes just appreciating the same kinds of jokes that I like is enough.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that there is hope for shy guys, so they shouldn't feel bad if they don't have an in-everyones-face personality. The right girl will take the time to get to know him and wait for him to feel comfortable with being himself around her.


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## FadeToOne (Jan 27, 2011)

au Lait said:


> I guess what I'm trying to say here is that there is hope for shy guys, so they shouldn't feel bad if they don't have an in-everyones-face personality. The right girl will take the time to get to know him and wait for him to feel comfortable with being himself around her.


There might be a girl who would want to want such a guy, but how are this right girl's panties ever going to get wet (and I am being quite literal here) over the thought of some "cute" shy guy she has to wait for to get comfortable around her? Sexual attraction does not work that way, not even in an alternate dimension.

As I said. What women say they want and how the world actually works are two completely different things. Case and point. I try to say it with as little offense as I can but don't know another way.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

FadeToOne said:


> There might be a girl who would want to want such a guy, but how are this right girl's panties ever going to get wet (and I am being quite literal here) over the thought of some "cute" shy guy she has to wait for to get comfortable around her? Sexual attraction does not work that way, not even in an alternate dimension.
> 
> As I said. What women say they want and how the world actually works are two completely different things. Case and point. I try to say it with as little offense as I can but don't know another way.


Touche.


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## Perfectionist (Mar 19, 2004)

FadeToOne said:


> There might be a girl who would want to want such a guy, but how are this right girl's panties ever going to get wet (and I am being quite literal here) over the thought of some "cute" shy guy she has to wait for to get comfortable around her?


Because when he finally does start to open up and get comfortable around her it's like WOAH. It's called anticipation. We like anticipation.

I can definitely have sexual attraction to this kind of guy. It's sad you won't believe it, but I don't know how to prove it to you without FedExing you some panties.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

I think there are women attracted to quiet and/or shy guys. It's just more difficult for a man to find her because of our nature.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

FadeToOne said:


> There might be a girl who would want to want such a guy, but how are this right girl's panties ever going to get wet (and I am being quite literal here) over the thought of some "cute" shy guy she has to wait for to get comfortable around her? Sexual attraction does not work that way, not even in an alternate dimension.


Maybe it's something like how I get attracted by a cute shy girl who is not overtly sexual, but the thought of having sex with her is especially exciting because it seems like something she doesn't do.

So maybe some girls see shy guys as secretly being wild animals or something, and get turned on by the prospect of having that sexual energy unleashed on them. Or something.

(This sounded a lot less insane in my head)


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

FadeToOne said:


> There might be a girl who would want to want such a guy, but how are this right girl's panties ever going to get wet (and I am being quite literal here) over the thought of some "cute" shy guy she has to wait for to get comfortable around her? Sexual attraction does not work that way, not even in an alternate dimension.
> 
> As I said. What women say they want and how the world actually works are two completely different things. Case and point. I try to say it with as little offense as I can but don't know another way.


Do I know you? We must have met before, what with how you seem to be claiming that you are some kind of expert concerning what turns me on.

lol, it's pretty hard for me to feel offended when you are saying something that is so obviously not based in reality.

Sexual attraction works in many different ways. There are many different people in this world, with a wide variety of turn ons. Some women like to be aggressive. They like to make the first move and draw the guy out of his shell. While some are patient, and like to take their time to get to know a guy (like me).

Is it really so hard for you to understand that women are not some hive-minded entity? We are individuals. We are each unique. There is no handbook or road map to describe how we work or what we like.


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## Jade18 (Mar 6, 2011)

I like old fashioned guys...but since they are very rare to find idk
personality idk...sometimes shy/quiet guys are adorable
a few years ago at school there was this guy who I liked but he was incridably shy...he was an exchange student from thailand and couldnt speak well hardly any languages exept thai and really broken english..
whenever I tried him to get to notice me he just turned away or looked at me in a creepy way and I thought he didnt liked me:|
anyway later when he went back to thailand already and his languages improved I kept in touch with him online...than out of nowhere all of the sudden one day he actually told me(which was about 2 years later) he really liked me but was too shy and didnt know how to ask me out  so me all shocked and upset..lol now I laugh my *** off when I think about it
but at that moment I was just very upset and crying that I didnt make a move on him...so shy guys usually when u act all ''quiet and shy'' around girls they think u are not interested in them..


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## FadeToOne (Jan 27, 2011)

joinmartin said:


> The real world: something evolutionary psychology has trouble understanding. Love and relationships are all lies. Well, that one fails the "go outside and see" test. My Mum has been with my father for over 25 years. Still together and still happy. I'm lucky to have that. But oh no, wait a second, my sixty three year old mum would rather be with the town drunk and get her panties wet based on some daft theories about what women find attractive which are pretty much based on pick up twaddle, ideas that guys have about what they guess women are attracted to and, even worse, the TFL angry men's club.
> 
> And when women demonstrate that they want and respond to a variety of different things, the theories of nonsense defend themselves by the blanket assumption that all these women must be lying or deluding themselves.
> 
> ...


I thought you said you were leaving the forums cause you were tired of dealing with us?


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## madsv (Mar 19, 2010)

FadeToOne said:


> I thought you said you were leaving the forums cause you were tired of dealing with us?


Oh it seems that joinmartin hit the nail on the head in his post


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

FadeToOne said:


> I thought you said you were leaving the forums cause you were tired of dealing with us?





madsv said:


> Oh it seems that joinmartin hit the nail on the head in his post


Lokks that way, doesn't it?


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## madsv (Mar 19, 2010)

Atticus said:


> Lokks that way, doesn't it?


Yep


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## FadeToOne (Jan 27, 2011)

Atticus said:


> Lokks that way, doesn't it?


Maybe for those that don't know that this guy posts the same drivel in every single thread. At first he comes off as this super-duper positive guy trying to motivate people, but what he really is an obsessive obnoxious jackass whose sole argument in every single thread about every single topic is that "it's all subjective and you can never judge anything".

Not to mention that I don't see how "Ive slept with 8 different women" is an argument that love really exists. People these days have some really strange definitions of the term. Sleeping with 100 women would not be the definition of "success" for me. I am only interested in a long-term relationship. This is another point this gentleman has purposely ignored or failed to understand in every exchange we've had.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

lokks, an alternative spelling :clap


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## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

This is probably pointless to answer....

Shared interests and hobbies is what gets my attention the most. Even above looks and impression. Sure a guy in good shape with certain characteristics like blue eyes might initially attract me but my attention is going to swing toward the guy who shares my interests. Sometimes that has been guys who had no redeeming physical characteristics and frequently it has been guys lacking confidence and social skills. I think that's mainly because my lack of social and conversational skills makes me relate to people by doing things we both enjoy. I'd far rather go hiking, fishing, rock climbing, horseback riding, or just play video games than get a cup of coffee and sit there talking. Dinner and a movie type dates never went well and usually bored me to death. People I can do things with rank far above people I can talk to.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

FadeToOne said:


> I am only interested in a long-term relationship.


B-b-but you just told me that love and relationships are lies. Is my prophet confused? I hang on your every word, you've revealed so may profound truths about my very thoughts, and indeed that of my entire gender!


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## FadeToOne (Jan 27, 2011)

bezoomny said:


> B-b-but you just told me that love and relationships are lies. Is my prophet confused? I hang on your every word, you've revealed so may profound truths about my very thoughts, and indeed that of my entire gender!


No. I want something that I can not have. It's quite straight forward.

(But wait here comes joinmartin to say "But that's just in your head! You can have it just walk across the street! What's stopping you?!")


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## madsv (Mar 19, 2010)

FadeToOne said:


> No. I want something that I can not have. It's quite straight forward.
> 
> (But wait here comes joinmartin to say "But that's just in your head! You can have it just walk across the street! What's stopping you?!")


But the thing is, that it is just in your head. I had severe SA too like 5 years ago and now I am cured for it


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## FadeToOne (Jan 27, 2011)

madsv said:


> But the thing is, that it is just in your head. I had severe SA too like 5 years ago and now I am cured for it


This has nothing to do with SA.


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

Akane said:


> This is probably pointless to answer....
> 
> Shared interests and hobbies is what gets my attention the most. Even above looks and impression. Sure a guy in good shape with certain characteristics like blue eyes might initially attract me but my attention is going to swing toward the guy who shares my interests. Sometimes that has been guys who had no redeeming physical characteristics and frequently it has been guys lacking confidence and social skills. I think that's mainly because my lack of social and conversational skills makes me relate to people by doing things we both enjoy. I'd far rather go hiking, fishing, rock climbing, horseback riding, or just play video games than get a cup of coffee and sit there talking. Dinner and a movie type dates never went well and usually bored me to death. People I can do things with rank far above people I can talk to.


Your perspective intrigues me, mainly because I absolutely *never* see it with women IRL.

I'm a somewhat-stereotypical nerd who indulges in hobbies that are un-hip at best. For one thing, I rarely come across women who share these hobbies at all. But when I do, they almost invariably fall into two categories: (1) they have a boyfriend who's not like them at all (non-geek), or (2) they enjoy the heaps of attention they get from males in their hobby/ies, and so perpetually tease rather than committing to any one of them. What I almost never see are nerdy women considered average-looking or better who hook up with equally-nerdy men.

It sounds like you're essentially looking for an equal in your relationships, rather than a protector, or a leader, or a daddy, or a social crutch. Men who meet you should consider themselves lucky. Then again, the same can be said for a lot of the descriptions women have given in this thread, many of which simply do not mesh with my observations IRL (and I'm a college student in a big college town, so my observations are not that limited in scope). If I'm being completely honest, this leaves me skeptical, though I do give you all the benefit of the doubt as individuals.


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## Hello22 (Feb 10, 2010)

A good sense of humour is always a turn on for me. And i don't mean guys that take the piss out of others, a guy that can laugh at himself, and yet have a witty sense of humour.

A guy that has an interest in something sporty or some kind of activity (i.e. exercise of some sort), which he is kinda passionate about is really cool.

A guy that doesnt play games, or chat up girls all the time just to boost his ego - i have no time for a guy that flirts with me, then 10 minutes later will be swooning over someone else, it just shows someones shallowness.

And a guy that shows a more softer side, after a while of seeing him, is sooo cute.

I like when a guy isn't too loud, and can listen when i'm talking, and i will do the same.

A nice dress sense, i like a guy that isnt too 'fashionble', just fairly plain dressed is good for me, but nothing old-fashioned or too quirky, the latter freaks me out.

*Dislikes:*
- dishonesty/ lying. I have a heightened awareness of people's body lanuage when they start lying, its usually what they dont say which catches them out.

- guys who don't mean what they say, dont say **** if you don't mean it, i don't need to hear it. Being lied to is the lowest thing you can do.

- guys who thinks its okay to contact past lovers when they're with me. Most highly disrespectful thing you can do, and i lose all trust for anyone who does this.

- guys who are only seeing me for one thing. I'm not that kind of girl.

- And i cringe at showoffs.

I could go on, but they're the main points!


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## madsv (Mar 19, 2010)

FadeToOne said:


> This has nothing to do with SA.


Then what then?


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## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

> Then again, the same can be said for a lot of the descriptions women have given in this thread, many of which simply do not mesh with my observations IRL (and I'm a college student in a big college town, so my observations are not that limited in scope). If I'm being completely honest, this leaves me skeptical, though I do give you all the benefit of the doubt as individuals.


Well I said I never would get married and then married a guy who is a geek (he just got back at 10:30pm from the gaming store) and is slightly overweight. I finally got married because we are so equal and think so alike that conversations like why we should get married never really needed to happen. Our entertainment the past 2 months has been borrowing the lego games from my sister and playing them together. So while guys will continue to say it's all talk I'm living exactly what I've been saying in these threads. This is not hypothetical or what I think might happen. I have dated and married the type of guys I keep saying I like and I have turned down many of the type of guys everyone keeps saying women are supposedly attracted to. I dated one a**hole as my first boyfriend and only stayed with him as long as I did because it was better than living with my abusive stepdad.

Maybe guys are just seeing girls going through the required learning experiences. Even if most will date a jerk at least once in their lives that doesn't mean every girl fails to learn from it and avoid such guys in the future. Most guys I know can also mention an insane ex or 2 as a learning experience. Highschool and early college aren't most peoples' best examples of relationship history.


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## AK32 (Sep 2, 2010)

A good sense of humor.


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## IcemanKilmer (Feb 20, 2011)

FadeToOne said:


> (But wait here comes joinmartin to say "But that's just in your head! You can have it just walk across the street! What's stopping you?!")


Don't let anyone make you feel like it's easy to just walk up to people and start talking. These people forget we are on a Social Anxiety website. They think it's as easy as waving a magic wand and all the sudden you are courageous person.

These people don't realize that things in life such as making friends/getting dates are 100 times easier said than done for a shy person.


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## justagirl9 (Jun 13, 2010)

I actually don't have a type. I'm attracted to different looking and acting types of guys. The only thing that was the same in the people I've liked was that they sort of had the same sarcastic sense of humor as me.


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## running n circles (Apr 29, 2011)

I don't really have a type either. I love long haired guys and I like bald guys. I like shy guys and loud guys, fat or thin, dumb or smart...I suppose the only thing I haven't been attracted to was guys who can't make me laugh.


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

I like guys who are like the men in my family because I admire their personalities. I'd say men that are empathetic, kind, intelligent and have the ability to appreciate dark or different humor. 

I make a point to avoid men that are mean spirited or cruel, as well as those that I find less intellectually curious (I need to be able to have deeper conversations with people from time to time).

Since girls are all different, I think it'd be best for you to focus more on what you want out of a woman than what girls want out of you since you know what you want, and you could never realistically hope to understand every individual woman's wants and desires. If you're interested in a girl, and you're into darker humor- then perhaps test her by throwing out a joke you like and observing how she responds to it. Test us to see if we live up to the things YOU want out of a woman.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

FadeToOne said:


> What women say they want and how the world actually works are two completely different things.


What you said is not entirely inaccurate. But, it is not just true of women, but people in general. I've observed lots of times that what people say is right or wrong and how they actually conduct themselves are different things.

But, consider that there is a similar generalization for men, i.e. all men look for in a partner is beauty. Which may be true, I don't know, I am not among those men. And I'm not saying this to be modest. I really wouldn't jump into bed with her even if I had the chance.

So likewise, I don't find it difficult to believe that there are probably many women who do not respond to the stereotypical attractive qualities in guys, like assertiveness or thrill-seeking behaviour. Many might, even a majority, but there are definitely some out there who don't. So just clinging to the "girls love arseholes" mantra isn't going to do any good.


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## Hamster (Sep 3, 2009)

apparently, guys who ignore me are very attractive...but i hate it intensely as well. also, i'm attractive to cute-looking guys who stand out of the crowd but also get along with everyone. and then...there are probably other standards, but i've only dated one guy before, so i wouldn't know as much :um


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

Males who display humbleness or carry out small acts of kindness... say, if I see a guy hold a door open for someone or otherwise doing something that they don't have to do, but which helps someone else, then that instantly makes me notice them. Open-mindedness and introversion are also traits that are attractive to me. Guys reading... :love2 I used to get the bus to college with a guy who would sit at the back reading classics every day. I wish that at the time I could have plucked up the courage to talk to him. 

Looks-wise, I don't really have a type, but if someone is wearing a shirt with a band on who I happen to like (not very common!), or something, that would obviously spark my interest. It would depend on their actual personality whether I was turned on or off by them, though. Suggestions that we might have interests in common (one of the greatest turn ons) would just cause me to notice them in the first place, but I'd have to get to know them better before I was really attracted or not.

I don't know... it just depends. The humbleness and kindness, though, are things I always find attractive, unless merely put on as an act. Sense of humour can also be very attractive, but by that I don't mean the ability to relay jokes all the time rather just general outlook on life and the ability to take yourself less seriously sometimes.

As for turn offs... cockiness, extroversion, closed-mindedness and being overly fashion/appearance conscious are things that generally repel me. The scruffier the better!


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

kind of geeky.... clever... good at sciences and math... makes me laugh.. isnt intimidated by me... can take the lead sometimes and not always wait for me to plan everything.. polite and shows an interest in my family.... is ambitious with his career.... has a good career or in school for one... good at art... likes to read..... not lazy

prob more... jus some thoughts lol


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## MojoCrunch (Mar 25, 2011)

Like someone else said I can answer this question in many different ways. But if I had to narrow it down I would definitely say a man's passion is what gets me. That passion could be a passion for his family, a passion for science, music, building, etc. That look on their face that says: "I want to do this for the rest of my life and this is what truly makes me happy. This gives me a total boner." It just gives me such energetic happy feelings. I want to be with someone that won't make me feel like ****. I don't know, I love that fiery passion some guys have. I guess you can say that whoever I'm with, I have a weird kind of belief in that person and their abilities.


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## atticusfinch (Dec 18, 2010)

FadeToOne said:


> lol, dude.
> 
> Some guy in another thread said it perfectly. What women say they want, and what they respond to (get their panties wet) is fundamentally different. Even in a seemingly happy marriage that the woman stays with the guy for 30 years...at the end of the day her body would still rather be with the drunk jackass at the bar. And when she does go for that guy, those are of course only temporary flings.
> 
> There is no hope. Love and relationships are all a lie, they are fictional notions that do not exist in the real world.


:blank



MojoCrunch said:


> Like someone else said I can answer this question in many different ways. But if I had to narrow it down I would definitely say a man's passion is what gets me. That passion could be a passion for his family, a passion for science, music, building, etc. That look on their face that says: "I want to do this for the rest of my life and this is what truly makes me happy. This gives me a total boner." It just gives me such energetic happy feelings. I want to be with someone that won't make me feel like ****. I don't know, I love that fiery passion some guys have. I guess you can say that whoever I'm with, I have a weird kind of belief in that person and their abilities.


:high5

basically this.


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