# Tell me about your dating life



## Brandon Jenkin (Mar 11, 2020)

What do you guys wish for most in your dating life?


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## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

To meet a guy who is honest and that puts in the same effort as I do.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

lol start with actually going on a date? it's been too long.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

It's not an option for me.


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## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

andy1984 said:


> lol start with actually going on a date? it's been too long.


Oh I forget about that part


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

Trying too hard and probably failing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm finding my life partner before 30 though, I'm not wasting any more time on this crap. I'm just like, "Look u wanna be my lover or not? C'mon let's go do all the fun things." More cuddle time, less wasted time pls.



aqwsderf said:


> To meet a guy who is honest and that puts in the same effort as I do.


 yeet

To be fair I don't expect reciprocation of effort, or even honesty.


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## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

Sekiro said:


> To be fair I don't expect reciprocation of effort, or even honesty.


If a person can't be honest with me or reciprocate effort then I rather be alone.

Those kind of things drain your wellbeing.


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## Tetragammon (Jun 2, 2015)

I've been on fewer than 10 real dates in my life and I hated all but one of them. The only one I kind of liked was my first; I was in college, and the girl I had liked since sophomore year of high school finally decided to give me a chance. It was late at night and we just drove around town in my car for hours, talking. Finally we decided to see a late-night movie at a local cinema. I put my arm around her and she leaned into me. I dropped her off at her apartment at like 3 AM, and we hugged.

I should have known that she wasn't actually interested in me at all; she never had been. She just felt sorry for me. We went on a second date but it was a lot more awkward. Soon after that she transferred to another school out of state, probably mostly because of me. The whole thing was a total waste of our time, money and effort -- which is how I feel about dating in general. 

Why is it that the male is always expected to pay for everything in heterosexual dating? And why do some people date when one or both parties aren't even that interested? It always felt so awkward and fake -- like both parties always put on airs and try to present this perfect mask that doesn't reflect their true selves at all. It's never honest, and that has always bothered me greatly.


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## leaf in the wind (Mar 28, 2017)

Lots of ups and downs. 

Recently more ups than downs.


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## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

Tetragammon said:


> Soon after that she transferred to another school out of state, probably mostly because of me.


Are you sure? Sounds like a big decision to make for it to be just over one person.



Tetragammon said:


> Why is it that the male is always expected to pay for everything in heterosexual dating?


I agree with you. But just want to point out that in another thread they were saying that men feel emasculated by women paying for things. So which one to believe &#129300;


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

I don't do that.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

Don't have a dating life. I've never gone out on a date.


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## nekomaru (Aug 3, 2014)

Brandon Jenkin said:


> What do you guys wish for most in your dating life?


Let's start with "To _have_ a dating life," shall we :crying::crying::crying:


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## CNikki (Aug 9, 2013)

"Tell me about your dating life..."

Need my list, hold on...


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## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

CNikki said:


> "Tell me about your dating life..."
> 
> Need my list, hold on...


^ Lol &#128578;


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

aqwsderf said:


> If a person can't be honest with me or reciprocate effort then I rather be alone.
> 
> Those kind of things drain your wellbeing.


 I feel ya but I mean sometimes people lie about things. I don't really care as long as there's no harm done. I hope to be the person that can be 100% trusted, though.

Things like being cheated on I take extremely seriously, however. If at any point it's lying about feelings for me or something that harms me or innocent people then it becomes a serious problem.


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## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

Sekiro said:


> I feel ya but I mean sometimes people lie about things. I don't really care as long as there's no harm done. I hope to be the person that can be 100% trusted, though.
> 
> Things like being cheated on I take extremely seriously, however. If at any point it's lying about feelings for me or something that harms me or innocent people then it becomes a serious problem.


I've been close to dishonest people. It's probably left its trauma on me. At this point whether it's big or several small lies... I don't think I could handle it.

I'm someone who tries to forgive and always make things work. But I just can't see putting myself through it again.


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

aqwsderf said:


> I've been close to dishonest people. It's probably left its trauma on me. At this point whether it's big or several small lies... I don't think I could handle it.
> 
> I'm someone who tries to forgive and always make things work. But I just can't see putting myself through it again.


You were harmed by it so there you go.


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## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

Well what harms us varies from person to person 😛


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

aqwsderf said:


> Well what harms us varies from person to person &#128539;


Verbal abuse is verbal abuse regardless of if someone is harmed by it. The intent to cause harm is still present.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

Persephone The Dread said:


> It's not an option for me.


I get the vibe that you want it to be though : /


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

blue2 said:


> I get the vibe that you want it to be though : /


No my existence is far too complicated to even really consider it that much. I'd probably have to leave the country for starters.

But I did date people in the past and didn't really enjoy it either.


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## Tetragammon (Jun 2, 2015)

aqwsderf said:


> Are you sure? Sounds like a big decision to make for it to be just over one person.


Yeah, well, I was actually kind of a stalker in high school. I didn't understand socializing, and never actually wanted to be around big groups, so I'd follow her around and try to talk to her alone. Never quite realized that that was bad until years later. I know she was also having a hard time at the college we were at so she wanted to transfer somewhere easier, but I wouldn't be surprised if I were part of that decision.



aqwsderf said:


> I agree with you. But just want to point out that in another thread they were saying that men feel emasculated by women paying for things. So which one to believe &#129300;


Meh, I think the very concept of emasculation is silly. But I also think it's silly for the woman to pay for everything -- why can't each person just share the cost? When the man has to pay for everything on every date, doesn't that seem unfair? I think the traditional idea of "courting" or "winning a woman over" by buying her all kinds of things is at least part of the problem with some of these men today who feel that women "owe them," whether it's sex or attention or whatever. It's just another gender imbalance that we should really work on fixing. Except I seem to be in a minority of people who think this way.

Incidentally, the high school crush I mentioned earlier shared this view; she insisted on paying for her share of the movies we saw and the meals we ate together. And I loved her for it.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

aqwsderf said:


> Are you sure? Sounds like a big decision to make for it to be just over one person.
> 
> I agree with you. But just want to point out that in another thread they were saying that men feel emasculated by women paying for things. So which one to believe &#129300;


Yeah I was sort of seeing a guy once (we went on a few dates, and were part of the same social circle) who thought it was weird that I would want to pay for myself. At one point also we were walking somewhere and I didn't realise that he was trying to walk closer to the road on purpose out of some weird deliberate chivalrous thing, but since I ended up walking closer to the road a bunch of times because I didn't notice he was trying to do that, he eventually had to point out what he was doing lol. He was inconsistent though since he was a bit effeminate and others would joke that he was gay and I once had to remove a spider from his bedroom because he freaked out about it and he instantly went to talk about how I was his hero on facebook (which I kinda liked haha.) So just all over the place really.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

Persephone The Dread said:


> At one point also we were walking somewhere and I didn't realise that he was trying to walk closer to the road on purpose out of some weird deliberate chivalrous thing, but since I ended up walking closer to the road a bunch of times because I didn't notice he was trying to do that, he eventually had to point out what he was doing lol. He was inconsistent though since he was a bit effeminate and others would joke that he was gay and I once had to remove a spider from his bedroom because he freaked out


That's funny "I'll protect you from a potential drunken maniac driving 2 tonnes of steel.... meanwhile defeated by tiny spider : / " :teeth


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## funnynihilist (Jul 29, 2014)




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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

blue2 said:


> That's funny "I'll protect you from a potential drunken maniac driving 2 tonnes of steel.... meanwhile defeated by tiny spider : / " :teeth


Yeah I think we'd probably both get hit in almost all cases if some crazy driver came up on the pavement. It's an interesting juxtaposition.

Some researchers apparently suggested that the Spider-Man films reduce arachnophobia which is interesting:

https://nypost.com/2019/04/24/watching-spider-man-could-help-cure-arachnophobia-scientists-say/


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

The ultimate goal is to find someone I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. And hope they reciprocate lol.

I've never had any luck with dating sites or meeting people organically in person, so I've never experienced the traditional dating process. But I'm okay with that.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Too old, ugly, and trans to date.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

truant said:


> Too old, ugly, and trans to date.


I smell lies.

:squeeze


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## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

blue2 said:


> That's funny "I'll protect you from a potential drunken maniac driving 2 tonnes of steel.... meanwhile defeated by tiny spider : / "


That's me. I won't hesitate to get between you and a car. But if there's a bug, I'm out. Phobias are weird.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

aqwsderf said:


> That's me. I won't hesitate to get between you and a car. But if there's a bug, I'm out. Phobias are weird.


Same! :lol


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## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Some researchers apparently suggested that the Spider-Man films reduce arachnophobia which is interesting:
> 
> https://nypost.com/2019/04/24/watching-spider-man-could-help-cure-arachnophobia-scientists-say/


I've watched all the spider man films and antman ...definitely not a cure lol

I think only physical exposure can help with that. I am far from willing &#128539;


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

aqwsderf said:


> I've watched all the spider man films and antman ...definitely not a cure lol
> 
> I think only physical exposure can help with that. I am far from willing &#128539;


Yeah I think they said it only reduced the fear and plus it probably doesn't last forever or only works under specific conditions. Would be cool if all phobias could be cured that way lol.


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## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Yeah I think they said it only reduced the fear and plus it probably doesn't last forever or only works under specific conditions. Would be cool if all phobias could be cured that way lol.


It probably helps reduce it for people who have the fear even just by looking at pictures and stuff.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Some researchers apparently suggested that the Spider-Man films reduce arachnophobia which is interesting:


Interesting, I don't see how from a visual perspective, I used to really hate spiders but it was mainly the multiple hairy legs & beady eyes/fangs & bulbus rear end.

I don't see how a man in a multi colored costume would help with that, but I have got less afraid anyway as I've got older.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

blue2 said:


> Interesting, I don't see how from a visual perspective, I used to really hate spiders but it was mainly the multiple hairy legs & beady eyes/fangs & bulbus rear end.
> 
> I don't see how a man in a multi colored costume would help with that, but I have got less afraid anyway as I've got older.


My initial thought which is maybe a bit idiosyncratic, was that it might help them to empathise with the spider/ant when they watch those films because there's a connection between a Human and the insect/arachnid, which then reduces fear somewhat.

On the other hand The Fly is a horror film for a reason so can easily go the other way lol.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

mezzoforte said:


> I smell lies.
> 
> :squeeze


No, that's just me. Yet another reason. 

:squeeze


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

Well.....mine is hindsight. I wish I had more sexual experiences than I do now. And I pray everyday that my lack of other sexual experiences doesnt lead me to cheat and stray later on in life.

It sucks now that...Ive managed to build so much confidence with my girlfriend....that women who ignored me before...actively try to make me stray and cheat.

Its a very troublesome forbidden fruit situation. I am finally in a position to freely and confidently flirt with women ...but I know in my heart that its not worth throwing away my relationship for.

I only hope that my finances dont take that long to develop too (ie that by the time I have a surplus I will be too old to enjoy the spoils)


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## jhinds (May 30, 2011)

When I go back to dating later this year or next, my hope is to...

Find a woman around my age who I'm physically attracted to. I did a lot of OLD the year before last and wow.....slim pickings. I don't think my standards are too high, but yes, I do have standards.

Find a woman who actually wants to have sex with me. I've been with 2 women in the last 30 years and neither really wanted it (from me, anyway). "Duty sex" isn't what I'm looking for.

Find a woman who believes in an eqalitarian partnership. Someone who accepts me for who I am, not for what I can provide. Too many women I dated were looking for a man to help finance their retirement (or to get them a green card!) Big 'nope' from me.

I'm not all that hopeful I'll ever find a someone who meets these 3 conditions. She'll have her own conditions I'd have to meet, making it even more difficult. But I haven't given up just yet.


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## Toby Carson (Jan 31, 2019)

Sad. Lonely. Dismayed that being shy as a man is like having leprosy to a woman. Most of all I'm just tired. Tired of the process, the rejection, the getting your hopes up etc. It's pretty traumatising all round I guess.


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## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

There's nothing to tell


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

I hate dating, so I do not partake in the misery.


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

frustrated. no dates in a couple of months. and now, this era is permanently altered with the coronavirus epidemic. be safe.


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## Crisigv (Aug 3, 2013)

almost non existent, and probably won't be anything to tell in the future


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Been on a grand total of 6 dates so far. Glad I had the experience since it taught me a lot about what I don't want in a partner. Won't use OkCupid ever again though. Or Plenty Of Fish. Or Tinder.


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## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

I have never been on a date.


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## 10k (Aug 19, 2015)

2 "big" dates. One was awesome, the another one was crap... which continues till this day. A nightmare. 
I don't regret losing the first girl I dated , she was too much for me. Two different worlds. But man.... she was awesome. Hope she finds someone good. 
I had some small dates too. None worked out. 
The person that I am dating right now is not good for me. I get nervous, anxious, really angry and sad around her. I should stopped and just lived with my social problems and lack of firends. But no, let's get some more problems that you already have.
So, when this "relationship" ends, I will never gonna date again. 
Do not use tinder.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Pretty much non-existent. Talking to a few guys, but not interested romantically or sexually.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Just growing with God, no real interest. We'll see what happens I'm open.


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## iamdone (Mar 31, 2020)

I got married thinking well guess what I may even be lucky 5 years ago thinking my husband loved me for who I was since he was the only person who seemed to show a real interest in me. Needless to say he's just like everybody else - disgusted by me.... so much about love


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Brandon Jenkin said:


> What do you guys wish for most in your dating life?


Even one guy merely noticing my existence as a woman would be nice, for starters.

I may as well be an amoeba. Probably look like one.


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## Harveykinkle (Apr 26, 2019)

Well I'm a virgin so there's not a lot to share. I'll probably die a virgin and I care less about that now than ever before. Not that I'm completely happy with life I just doubt happiness would come from sex/dating for me.


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## KangalLover (Dec 26, 2012)

Well, I have been to a lot of dates, had hookups, friends with benefit, even two girlfriends. but I don't expect to find someone for a long (more than a year) relationship to be honest. and I definitely don't want to have kids either. so I guess by the time I'll get 40, bald and fat, I'll be living alone  and that is fine by me.


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## Cool Ice Dude55 (Jan 7, 2014)

I've had a few dates and they were all awkward and dissapointing. I kind of want to date, but I'm terrible at chatting and banter. I install dating apps and literally have to force myself to use them. When I get matches I don't want to talk to them, because I hate all this awkward chat you have to do on dating sites. It makes me want to hurl. But there's not other choice if you want to date. So you have to accept it. But it's really hard for me to accept it and get on with it. 

I like to meet organically, but when you don't have a social life it's impossible.


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## Shawn81 (Jul 9, 2014)

Doesn't exist. Never been on an official "date". Weird and awkward premise. My limited relationships grew organically from someone I had known for a long time first. I'm pretty isolated so that won't be happening again any time soon. Because of past relationships and living situations in general, I won't allow myself to be lied to anymore, because forgiving it just opens the door for me to be taken advantage of repeatedly, and I absolutely cannot stand anger, tempers, fighting/arguing, yelling, etc, which combined with dishonesty rules out pretty much every human being, so I'm basically losing interest in the whole thing. I don't like having to do everything alone. It's definitely not as much fun. But it's better than being in a bad relationship. I have enough problems without a bunch of unnecessary drama. Would have been nice to find that chill person to share and enjoy things with, get a place, support each other, reduce financial stress, etc etc, but I don't really see it happening. My current future plans are based on the assumption that I'll be living and handling everything alone as usual. Not really in the mood to put a bunch of time and effort into another bad person and build up a future plan that just falls apart when the skeletons come out of the closet. I've lost enough emotionally and financially to that kind of mess.

As for dating apps or platforms like that, meeting random people for a romantic premise is way out of my comfort zone. Never have or will be interested. Any apps I tried that were supposed to be for making friends were also just dating-hookup apps, so I never participated in any of them.


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## Musicfan (Mar 4, 2017)

Nothing to tell.


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## Mlt18 (Jun 29, 2016)

Nothing ever happened. Not surprised though. I talked to people but mostly just to try and make friends. At this point, I'm okay with it staying this way.


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

Mlt18 said:


> Nothing ever happened. Not surprised though. I talked to people but mostly just to try and make friends. At this point, I'm okay with it staying this way.


That cat avatar tho <3


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## Mlt18 (Jun 29, 2016)

Sekiro said:


> That cat avatar tho <3


Thanks, he's a good pet

Sent from my SM-J700P using Tapatalk


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## Elle Knight (Jan 18, 2019)

Well I kissed a girl yesterday and well, that girl is my cat. So what I’m trying to say is, I dont have a dating life. That’s it. I wish someone would man up and date me though (from a distance, that is).


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Been in a relationship 6 years, we've been living together for a little more than 2 1/2 years. 

As far as dating before her was concerned. It was a humiliating and very unenjoyable experience.


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

Elle Knight said:


> Well I kissed a girl yesterday and well, that girl is my cat. So what I'm trying to say is, I dont have a dating life. That's it. I wish someone would man up and date me though (from a distance, that is).


 You're certainly very forward about this. Not that I can blame you.

There's some good guys on here. But to be honest dating from here can be a little hard. It can certainly work out, but it could also spiral out of control. You have to be fully willing to accept someone that's suffering from the same issues you are. That's quite the ask and I'd say if you're going to put your foot forward then you're going to have to be the one to bring stability when things aren't going to be stable. You're also going to have to be more patient than you would with a person without anxiety.

That said, best of luck. Happiness is something we deserve.


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## Elle Knight (Jan 18, 2019)

@Sekiro, thanks for the advice. I dont mind vesting my time in a person with whom I share the same or similar issues. But I am yet to find one who intrigues me. If they do make me blush they are either not interested or already has a partner.


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

Elle Knight said:


> @*Sekiro* , thanks for the advice. I dont mind vesting my time in a person with whom I share the same or similar issues. But I am yet to find one who intrigues me. If they do make me blush they are either not interested or already has a partner.


 There's 7.5 billion people on the planet which means there's 7500 one in a millions. At any given moment there are thousands of people both available and wanting someone like you, so just because you met a handful of people and it wasn't what you wanted or what they wanted it doesn't mean that's a reason to stop looking. Putting yourself out there will eventually lead to success. And the only thing that guarantees failure is not trying in the first place.


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## Elle Knight (Jan 18, 2019)

Yes true. I never look at it like that. Thanks again.


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## The Linux Guy (Jul 11, 2013)

I could talk about all my faults. But not very many of my faults causes my number one problem. "No Eligible Females". In order to explain, I got to first tell you about my learning disability and how it effects the way my parents treat me. Then I need to explain how it caused me to land the job I did. Then I need to explain how my job hours and work load effects my sleeping habits. Then I need to explain how hard it was for me to get that job, and why I'm afraid of trying another job. Then I need to explain how it and job hours effects my ability to drive freely. And then I need to explain why the women at work are not Eligible. And then I need to explain why the women at Church aren't either. Then I need to explain why I couldn't find anyone online. I'm screwed!


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## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

Didn't use to think it was really going to happen but happily taken


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## irishkarl (Apr 20, 2020)

i have no real experience with women....i had a date when i was 18 but would rather not have had it as it was so awkward and embarrassing.....i couldnt talk to her at all.....it was a tough 3 hours.....nah i wouldnt awnt to repeat that

in truth my love life is totally non existant, but for that date....i never even got to lose my virginity, but im over that now at 43


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

sh*t's about to get real.


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

mezzoforte said:


> sh*t's about to get real.


ooooooooooooooooooooooooo:


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

mezzoforte said:


> sh*t's about to get real.


Best of luck.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Rainbat said:


> Best of luck.


Thank you!:whip



Sekiro said:


> ooooooooooooooooooooooooo:


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## Krum (Dec 11, 2010)

I guess I don't really think about it anymore. The last two girls I saw turned out to already be in relationships and that killed the magic of the dating scene for me. I don't know if I just had a stint of bad luck or if modern relationships are just so shallow that people don't care about their partners anymore. Either way, I'm sitting it out for a while.


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## Sad Rose (May 10, 2020)

I've been with one boyfriend my whole life, i do love him but sometimes I feel it's because I'm afraid i won't be able to find another one. By the way we both have social anxiety ðŸ˜‚


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