# college degree -- what got you through it?



## dylmck (Jan 4, 2010)

hi all,

i don't post in the forums much, but i'm seriously considering getting back into school (probably something online like devry maybe?) but the thought horrifies me.
i've come to a point in my life where i'm getting better with my anxiety so i want to finish school. i've gone about as far as i can go considering my SA and no degree, and i think it's time to move on.

i currently work in the computer/tech support field. i have taken a few classes here and there, but i haven't been back to school for 5 years. i've overcome sweating and shaking but i can't get rid of my blushing problem or general lack of conversation with new people. i realize i'm not the only one in this boat so any advice would be greatly appreciated.

so for those in school and/or with degrees... how'd you get yourself to get to class? how'd you deal with speech class and/or presentations? any advice?
thanks in advance


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## Recipe For Disaster (Jun 8, 2010)

there werent very many presentations that i had to do in college and that's not the type of thing that gives me anxiety anyway, i struggle with making friends/relationships/hanging out with other people.

as for getting to class, that was tough. i skipped far too many classes. not sure what advice i can offer you there.


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## CeilingStarer (Dec 29, 2009)

Just fear of my parents I suppose. I didn't even really want to do it at the time.


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## Daktoria (Sep 21, 2010)

I cared. I saw why my degree mattered in the grand scheme of things, and that spawned curiosity. I would talk with nerdy and social friends alike, goto office hours, see tutors, etc. When I didn't care, I would stop studying and do something else in order to reinvigorate my interest. It's better than just bobbling along in half focus. Even if that came at the cost of getting a poor grade on a particular assignment, I knew that long term morale would be more important. Time management is key, and you have take advantage of having flexible professors when they're around. Don't blame rigid professors for not being understanding. If you're filled with rigid be practical. See TAs, tutors, and related professors who can also teach the subject. It's a good way to network and get recommendations too.

It's important to develop that appreciation. Without it, the mind wanders and loses focus very easily. Also, repetition and changes of pace are very important when you're just starting or recovering interest. Sometimes, it can take weeks or months to get committed, but when it happens, it locks in. Other times, you'll seem committed but still be on the slippery slope, so it's important to sustain momentum.


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## lyssado707 (Oct 29, 2004)

I'm getting through it but without being social. I've somehow managed to do presentations. Despite this, i still cannot talk in class, especially if it's a big class.


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## NaturalLogOfZero (Sep 29, 2010)

Though I'm not finish post secondary yet...
So far, my fear of failure has been a big driver. Sadly, my fear of being noticed/fear of succeeding and ADD have caused me to avoid doing well. 

The only reason I haven't flunked out is because I'm good at writing exams.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

Interest in the subject, basically.


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## alte (Sep 4, 2010)

pita said:


> Interest in the subject, basically.


Yeah. I read through reference type textbooks 2 or 3 times in classes I find interesting as opposed to the last minute cramming that is my usual practice in other classes.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

CeilingStarer said:


> Just fear of my parents I suppose. I didn't even really want to do it at the time.


Yep, same here! It was expected that I get a college degree.


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## cellophanegirl (Sep 21, 2009)

I think that classes are hardest to get through in your first few days. If you can get through those, they just become routine, and your anxiety levels will drop exponentially. As for presentations, I would just say practice them a lot before you present. If you feel more prepared for a presentation, you will act more prepared. They can still be kind of awkward, but you just need to accept that. I've found that as long as your information is solid, professors wont take off too many points for lack of eye contact or general fumblings that happen when you're nervous.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

I'll list some things I did (although I could write a book on this)

- First I registered for a subject that was my passion. If there are no passions at least register for something that's interesting and suits your strengths. College has a way of sucking the soul out of even the most passionate - it couldn't do much better if it were designed to do this

- Next I registered somewhere I could commute from home. I could not live independently. If this isn't plausible for those who are the same then ensure you choose somewhere that will support you in living independently. Check out their disability support. If possible arrange for family to be as involved as possible through visits, telephone, or email

- Even commuting from home daily, the loneliness and isolation were devastating. I would have dropped out if I hadn't lived at home

- Don't give up without a fight though, because some people settle in fine eventually

- Investigate all the support when selecting colleges. This includes their counselling and disability support and their attitude towards inclusion. My experiences through my degrees involved persistent discrimination and almost no support. At the postgraduate level, disability services had no experience with anyone at that level before - they're rarely supported to make it that far

- For accommodation ask for a single room with a bathroom. Shared rooms can make a place unliveable for those with social issues

- Self-knowledge is key. You need it to stand up for yourself and to teach others to on your behalf. For instance know how you learn best and don't try to conform to what's expected if it doesn't work as well. Having an atypical learning style can feel isolating and affect self-esteem but try to see it as just a difference and one that's a strength in certain areas

- Many professors misunderstand differences and can cause trouble. Mine were not required to learn how to deal with disabled students. They are unsure how to act so specifying what you need them to do and simple, clear, explicit communication are vital. If there are still problems don't blame yourself, such as if they react badly to others advocating for you. If there is persistent or significant discrimination there are procedures to follow. In the UK you can speak to a Student Union advisor. They will keep records on your case and explain all options

- If a professor is letting you down, don't wait longer than a few weeks before taking action. There are procedures in place you can follow. They can find you a new supervisor. It's not worth tolerating a bad one. Be firm and clear. Stick to the facts

- Many problems can be solved through good communication and understanding. Don't let anyone pressurise you into communicating important issues verbally if your strength is written communication

- Keep all records. Save all emails. Get as much as possible in writing by communicating much by email

- Backup all work regularly as you approach a deadline. Your computer hardware can fail you at any time. Have other options such as spares

- I was overwhelmed daily. I nearly dropped out. I lost count of the number of meltdowns I had and times hiding in the toilet. Despite having no hope and being discouraged by professors all the way, I plodded on and turned up for exams I'd barely revised for. Never underestimate the power of going through the motions regardless and just giving even your most hopeless course a shot

- I rarely submitted coursework but if I'd only completed one question I'd submit it, despite the embarrassment, because it was added to the final grade

- Anxious people tend to underestimate their abilities and catastrophise. Keep this in mind. Anxiety itself can cause poor performance, despite ability, and convince you and others you lack it. CBT can help

- I knew exactly what it took to pass exams. Deep understanding of subjects is not emphasised in education, only grades. The unwritten rule is that practising past exam papers is the best method of getting you through. The library supplied ones to photocopy. Organise revision around completing them

- Many people cannot follow lectures, even though it may appear you're the only one. If you can't follow a word it doesn't mean you lack ability. Just turn up to fulfill requirements. Even if you space out during all of them they often put notes online or pull them directly from the textbook

- Procrastination, despair, hopelessness, and anxiety were daily occurrences. I lost months of study time to them. You can't dwell on the losses, however, and must continue forward

- Organise everything you can and systematically map everything relevant, especially emotional triggers and responses and how you learn best

- Learn how the grading scheme works. 1st year courses sometimes carry less weight than those in later years, giving you a chance to improve. This may not be explicit. Also, if you perform poorly you're not always the only one and they adjust grading for the class. Therefore what would have been a failing grade is converted to a pass

- If presentations are too big a step some professors allow you to perform them only in front of them. The key to them is practise. Video yourself while practising alone. When presenting use Powerpoint slides to draw their eyes away from you and make the room as dark as possible. Many professors and students experience anxiety over presenting and I've found they understand this better than other issues

- Anxiety affects cognition. It can prevent problem solving because it freezes up the processes required for that: creativity, risk taking, relaxed attitude, and persistence. Anything that involves being monitored or judged can incapacitate. You have to take back control and make the process personal and disregard others and _shoulds_ and _what ifs_. Treat problem solving as personal and a game. It's about playing around. Enjoy the process itself and don't have expectations. The ability and freedom to play without trepidation and interference from others is how solutions are found. Banish others and externally acquired impediments from your mind

- Other students are at an advantage in that they can access social support well, working in groups and seeking help from professors. I would sit working alone beside such groups. They obtain top marks on coursework due to collaborating. It's disheartening so ignore them. There are other routes to decent grades

- Besides studying there are issues dealing with career services and obtaining references. A simple email request for references to a couple of professors is rarely refused. If they don't know you well send a written summary of your strengths and goals along with the request

- Colleges are biased towards extroversion. Don't let any differences you have in this area discourage you or make you feel inadequate. People have strengths in different areas. Check out any societies that interest you

- Treat yourself with compassion and consideration. Learn to extinguish perfectionism. You can be stringent and competent without it. It's a hindrance causing procrastination, anxiety and depression

- Consider distance learning or part-time studying. Even if it delays graduation it's better than not coping at all by trying to study full-time or in a bad environment


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## dylmck (Jan 4, 2010)

i know this is way late, but thanks all for the responses. i'm still gathering up the courage to enroll-- i dont want to be a failure this time around


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## velocicaur (Aug 8, 2009)

Before you enroll, make sure you have a strong purpose for enrolling. 

Don't enroll in college to "make more money" or to "get a degree." You'll need to reach a point where you WANT to enroll in college. You WANT to enroll in college because you NEED the degree in order to do something that you really must do.

Be realistic too. Of course everyone wants to make more money. More money usually comes with more responsibility. Do you WANT the responsibility that will follow also? Will you be able to handle the extra stress? Is the extra stress worth it?

I think when you can answer these questions, then it is time to enroll for classes.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

I never felt like I had to be social to be there... and I left as soon as classes were over... I didn't get particularly good grades but held at a C -what I needed to pass and not lose my federal grant money. I dropped anything before add/drop day so I wasn't penalized for hating a class to much. My degree really did me very little good... some... but not tons... it gave me a broader knowledge base so that I was able to converse on a wider range of topics... I learned some stuff... Writing for Mass Communications, Radio Broadcasting, Photography, maybe some other stuff that didn't stick but those were the ones I found interesting.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Adderall XR, its the only thing that gets me through. Otherwise I would surely fail miserably.


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## Jcoj613 (May 1, 2011)

College is tough, but I have to go because my parents make me and I need a degree so I can get a job. With the state of the economy in the United States right now, you NEED college.


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## dylmck (Jan 4, 2010)

velocicaur said:


> Before you enroll, make sure you have a strong purpose for enrolling.
> 
> Don't enroll in college to "make more money" or to "get a degree." You'll need to reach a point where you WANT to enroll in college. You WANT to enroll in college because you NEED the degree in order to do something that you really must do.
> 
> ...


thanks for the response. yeah, i'm there.. kinda. i'm in my 30s. i've been promoted 2x at my work, but people younger than me are jumping past me because they have degrees. im happy for them, but i think it's about time that i move on. i hate the job itself and am ready to move on to a higher position. i'm just trying to work on actually taking the steps on getting my transcripts at this point. thx again.


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## dylmck (Jan 4, 2010)

caflme said:


> I never felt like I had to be social to be there... and I left as soon as classes were over... I didn't get particularly good grades but held at a C -what I needed to pass and not lose my federal grant money. I dropped anything before add/drop day so I wasn't penalized for hating a class to much. My degree really did me very little good... some... but not tons... it gave me a broader knowledge base so that I was able to converse on a wider range of topics... I learned some stuff... Writing for Mass Communications, Radio Broadcasting, Photography, maybe some other stuff that didn't stick but those were the ones I found interesting.


good point. one of the main things for me are things like presentations and group work. not necessarily social but there is some social activity going on. i'm almost always the odd one out or the one without a group/lab partner. thanks for your response!


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## dylmck (Jan 4, 2010)

Jcoj613 said:


> College is tough, but I have to go because my parents make me and I need a degree so I can get a job. With the state of the economy in the United States right now, you NEED college.


yeah. i lucked out. i get paid more than i should and i dont have a degree. i'm just stuck at this point. my parents made me go to school also, but eventually stopped forcing me to when i flunked out


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