# Anyone else hate family gatherings?



## Katherine114

I hate any social gatherings/parties whether it's family or not. My mom, sister and I usually celebrate things with just the three of us. We just moved closer to the rest of my family and they have a lot of get-togethers all the time. They've already invited us to a few and I usually don't go unless it's a small one. My mom also hates them. This weekend my aunt is throwing my sister a birthday/graduation party and I really don't want to go because she's inviting a lot of people. I hate it because I feel caught. If I don't go I'll feel rude and guilty but if I do go I'll be awkward and miserable, either way. My mom said "if you don't go nobody will think a thing of it, they'll understand". I told her I'll think about it. I don't know...


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## mattmc

It's always better to go to events like birthdays, graduations, and marriages if you can get yourself to. It may send your anxiety and self-loathing sky rocketing but the brownie points are like 5x a normal event. Sometimes higher. Plus, people might not focus too much on you. You can give your sister a hug and then find a corner to hide in safely till it's over.


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## Imbored21

do you have girlfriend yet?
do you have girlfriend yet?
do you have girlfriend yet?
do you have girlfriend yet?
What are you going to do with your degree??
do you have girlfriend yet?
do you have girlfriend yet?


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## Katherine114

mattmc said:


> It's always better to go to events like birthdays, graduations, and marriages if you can get yourself to. It may send your anxiety and self-loathing sky rocketing but the brownie points are like 5x a normal event. Sometimes higher. Plus, people might not focus too much on you. You can give your sister a hug and then find a corner to hide in safely till it's over.


Yeah I probably will go, for my sister. But I'm probably going to either stick to myself or just sit there. I usually have nothing to really say. It's not like I can get a word in anyway.


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## mattmc

Katherine114 said:


> Yeah I probably will go, for my sister. But I'm probably going to either stick to myself or just sit there. I usually have nothing to really say. It's not like I can get a word in anyway.


I wake up every day with nothing to say and very little ability to say it. Maybe you can look at magazines or play a mindless game on your phone. Hard to judge what is and isn't acceptable social protocol as it varies so much. But it shouldn't be that big a deal in the times we live in. If someone says something just say you really like the game.


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## RandomGentleman

No. I'm basically the black sheep of the family so nobody really had anything to say to me besides the generic "gee you've grown so tall!" Whenever I was forced to go to a family gathering I found some quiet spot and read a book or used some electronic device and enjoyed the solitude. Nobody cared.


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## Kevin001

I try my best to avoid them. It gets so awkward.


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## Adrian437

Not at all. It's usually just them asking if I have a girlfriend, how am I doing at school and making fun of my physical appearance. I insult them back without them noticing because they're complete morons and are unable to get the insults. After that I sit on the couch and listen to music, trying to ignore their comments.
I actually enjoy family gatherings that involve my family on my mother's side, since I know them better, see them almost daily and I am more comfortable around them.


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## Farideh

My brother's wife and in laws made me dislike family gatherings more than I already do. His wife's parents and daughter are weird. I'm not talking about a "you're cool with your quirks" kind of weird. You can tell they try to please us and that makes me uncomfortable. Not to mention their daughter is friends with my ex friends from high school and I bet she says crap about me to them. She already gave away a few signs that we're never going to get along. So I cut the bs and confronted her because I will not let her ruin every holiday for me. Especially Christmas. I didn't spend Christmas with her last year. So things were great.


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## acidicwithpanic

Yes, usually it turns into a ****-talking contest amongst the parents about their kids. My grandparents especially will compare me to my cousin who is in a similar situation that I'm in. She suffers from mental illnesses and is highly intelligent yet couldn't finish school due to the circumstances. They don't seem to understand how these illnesses can control our lives. However they'll tell me that I'm doing better than her because I'm still in school and want to get my master's which bothers me. I have a lot of sympathy for my cousin because I relate to her on an emotional level. But at the same time I have a sense of pride knowing that she has found ways to cope with her illnesses. She's happily married now and has found comfort in religion. I'm not religious but as long as it makes people happy and they don't guilt-trip me for being a non-believer, then I'm fine with it.


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## acidicwithpanic

Imbored21 said:


> do you have girlfriend yet?
> do you have girlfriend yet?
> do you have girlfriend yet?
> do you have girlfriend yet?
> What are you going to do with your degree??
> do you have girlfriend yet?
> do you have girlfriend yet?


Are you my aunt?


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## findyourself

Katherine114 said:


> I hate any social gatherings/parties whether it's family or not. My mom, sister and I usually celebrate things with just the three of us. We just moved closer to the rest of my family and they have a lot of get-togethers all the time. They've already invited us to a few and I usually don't go unless it's a small one. My mom also hates them. This weekend my aunt is throwing my sister a birthday/graduation party and I really don't want to go because she's inviting a lot of people. I hate it because I feel caught. If I don't go I'll feel rude and guilty but if I do go I'll be awkward and miserable, either way. My mom said "if you don't go nobody will think a thing of it, they'll understand". I told her I'll think about it. I don't know...


I hate every kind of big event. My cousins and aunts and uncles are all better than me so I have to hide myself from everyone.


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## SilentLyric

they can get awkward, that's why I usually cling to my sister's side the whole time.


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## Fangirl96

Thankfully not on my dad's side of the family, that's too much people and too many feuds. On my mom's side however, all her siblings with their children gather at grandma's birthday, and then we all eat biscuits and cake for like 3 hours at her house. Unfortunately i live really close to her, so i cant avoid it. I hate it. It's extra awkward because my stepcousin and i used to be friends for yeeears, but we havent spoken for like 7 years now. She's all emo and cool now and i'm a loser. I feel like there's a constant battle between which one of us is the most mature to our posh aunt aswell. She may be 3 years younger than me but so far, she's winning...dear lord i am not looking forward to november...


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## LoneWolf14

I'm a lot you, anymore I drive separate say hello to everyone talk to a select few then leave after about an hour before the anxiety takes to much of a toll on me. Had my graduation party a few weekends back so many questions from where are your friends, got a girlfriend yet, where you going to college ETC. So over whelming, dreading my birthday next month oh well get to cash out again


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## TheGuardian

I love getting together with my immediate family (grandparents/aunts/uncles), i feel comfortable around them so its okay for me. But currently i am having a family reunion and my family is HUGE, and i absolutely HATE it. Today was the first day we got together and the moment we walked in i was like "Oh great, here we go." Everyone was sitting down, my mom and sister walked away from me and said hello to a bunch of people and i'm standing there retardedly like "don't leave me." God i hate that so much, just stand there so fkin awkwardly whilst they go and chat up a storm with the family and i'm just trying to stand there smiling when on the inside i'm dying of awkwardness. So i go and sit with my immediate family which doesn't make me feel any better because i've always sat with them my whole life anytime we've had a reunion while all the other kids my age are sitting together chatting, i feel like a fking baby sitting with closer family because they are so much older than me, i should be sitting with the people around my age but i don't know anything about them and have never talked to them. It makes it worse that my sister just goes right up to them and they all say Heyyy! That just makes me feel like complete crap. 21 years old and i've still gotta sit with my grandparents because i'm too shy and awkward to sit with anyone else. *sigh* Ughhhh why can't i just be normal and know how to make conversations with people.


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## TheGuardian

Oh i also forget to mention the current issue of when visiting my family they always ask me "So, are you working?" I get asked that EVERY time we get together and it's so annoying and embarrassing. No i'm not working yet, somedayyy i'll work, if i can ever get over this stupid SA crap. -.-


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## Dillingerr

We have nothing in common. I hate the question what have u been up2?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dillingerr

TheGuardian said:


> I love getting together with my immediate family (grandparents/aunts/uncles), i feel comfortable around them so its okay for me. But currently i am having a family reunion and my family is HUGE, and i absolutely HATE it. Today was the first day we got together and the moment we walked in i was like "Oh great, here we go." Everyone was sitting down, my mom and sister walked away from me and said hello to a bunch of people and i'm standing there retardedly like "don't leave me." God i hate that so much, just stand there so fkin awkwardly whilst they go and chat up a storm with the family and i'm just trying to stand there smiling when on the inside i'm dying of awkwardness. So i go and sit with my immediate family which doesn't make me feel any better because i've always sat with them my whole life anytime we've had a reunion while all the other kids my age are sitting together chatting, i feel like a fking baby sitting with closer family because they are so much older than me, i should be sitting with the people around my age but i don't know anything about them and have never talked to them. It makes it worse that my sister just goes right up to them and they all say Heyyy! That just makes me feel like complete crap. 21 years old and i've still gotta sit with my grandparents because i'm too shy and awkward to sit with anyone else. *sigh* Ughhhh why can't i just be normal and know how to make conversations with people.


Xmas 2011 all the guys were outside socializing and playing with the kids while I sat in the garage with the elders pretending to enjoy what they were watching.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## amandal97

Yeah I hate them because they always say mean things about me and ask me questions and judge me for my answers. They say "You have so much acne!", "You've gained weight", "Why you go to mediocre school, not Ivy League?", "Why nurse not doctor?". Basically I have nothing to say to them. They make me feel sad. I just sit in my chair and eat my food and listen. I try not to talk.


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## sukanya

Oh yes,i don't enjoy being in a huge family get together too. just like amandal97 says people tend to ask uncomfortable questions, I feel most of the distant relatives are just not genuine so way do you need their judgement in that case..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Blue Dino

I only hate them when my mom is there, as she always puts me on the spot in front of everyone and uses the situation as an advantage to confront me about stuff that she normally has a hard time doing when it's just me and her 1 on 1. In front a large group of people, she knows I cannot just walk away embarrassingly and will have to play cool and put up a front in front of everyone to forcefully address her and converse with her while trying not to snap. Yet she would force me to go, as my absence in family gatherings she thinks makes her look bad. 

Without her there, I usually won't mind family gatherings much. Most of my relatives are cool to be around with temporarily.

It's cool that at least no one is pressuring you to go and you're given a choice.


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## shyguy07

We don't have gatherings that much. Usually we just go to my grandparent's on dad's side house for Christmas and Thanksgiving. But the last few times my uncle and aunt who I barely know come too and it can be awkward. Not that they are rude or anythings, but I can't really talk to them because I don't know what to say.

Then a few months ago my aunt had a big party and a ton of people were there that I didn't know or hadn't seen me since I was a toddler. They were all like 70 or older except for my half cousin and his wife who are around my age but I don't know. It was really awkward and weird.

I like being around my grandma on the other side of the family a lot, but don't see her as often as she's 96 now. The aunts and uncles I am okay being around, but I never see any of the other family.

I often just wish there were people in my family that were my age. They are all either at least ten years older or younger, so I never had anyone to just hang out with and be a kid. I think that's partly why I have trouble socializing.


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