# do you ever ignore your crush?



## sophiam (Mar 9, 2014)

it's a weird coping mechanism of mine, but i tend to ignore people i have a crush on ... maybe that way i don't have to talk to them or look at them, which triggers my anxiety? 
there's this guy i really, REALLY like (he has a girlfriend, though ha ha ha) and whenever i see him coming down the hallway i go the other way or i don't make eye contact like i physically can't do it


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## Propaganda (Oct 26, 2010)

I did this long ago, when I thought I would seem cool by being aloof. Haha, all it did was make me not noticable.


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## sophiam (Mar 9, 2014)

Propaganda said:


> I did this long ago, when I thought I would seem cool by being aloof. Haha, all it did was make me not noticable.


haha definitely ... i realize it only makes the situation worse because it seems like you can't stand them when in reality you're internally like DATE ME


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

Yeah I've done this before. I even do it to strangers I find attractive, like customers at work. If I see a woman that I find attractive, a lot of the time I pretend not to notice her because I don't want her to know that I think she is pretty. It's dumb but that is just the way I react sometimes.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

I think most shy people do that. I sure as hell did when I was younger. But really, you can't expect it to go anywhere unless you make an effort right?

Though, since this guy has a girlfriend, you might want to just let this one go.


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## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

Propaganda said:


> I did this long ago, when I thought I would seem cool by being aloof. Haha, all it did was make me not noticable.


Yeah, definitely did the same thing all through school. I think if I'm comfortable enough with the person I have a crush on I'd prefer to be more straight forward. This is all theory of course. In practice, it probably won't go as straight forward as I'd want to. But the intention is there at least.


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

Yeah, this is one of the many strange tendencies I have when it comes to "crushes". I think when I like someone, it's almost like I go out of my way to make them think that I don't like them.


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## sophiam (Mar 9, 2014)

Ntln said:


> I think most shy people do that. I sure as hell did when I was younger. But really, you can't expect it to go anywhere unless you make an effort right?
> 
> Though, since this guy has a girlfriend, you might want to just let this one go.


Yeah, I always end up letting it go ... Probably not the best idea but I'm working on it!!


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## East (Jul 22, 2013)

you know it I don't even like seeing their name written it makes me flustered that's how pathetic I am


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## sophiam (Mar 9, 2014)

Cam1 said:


> Yeah, this is one of the many strange tendencies I have when it comes to "crushes". I think when I like someone, it's almost like I go out of my way to make them think that I don't like them.


that's a good explanation ... like you want to pretend like your crush never existed in the first place so you don't have to deal with anxiety/also because the idea of having a crush is unrealistic/stupid


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## sophiam (Mar 9, 2014)

East said:


> you know it I don't even like seeing their name written it makes me flustered that's how pathetic I am


we're the same person probably


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

Um. Sometimes! But as of late its been the opposite. I flock to my crush haha!! =D


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

W A N D E R L U S T said:


> Haha, yes! As soon as I'm 99% sure that someone likes me back, I start ignoring them because it's just how I cope. (Unless they talk to me, but then I just seem really distant) :stu
> 
> I seriously try not to but I always fail and they always end up thinking I'm playing hard to get at first before giving up on me. Although I'm pretty sure someone can see past that.. :sus AWH! Or he's just really oblivious to my ignorance.


I would assume a girl is not interested in me if she's actively avoiding me.


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## cuppy (Oct 15, 2011)

Same for me, at least in high school. Back in middle school I would GLARE at them :lol

Now whenever I have a crush on someone, I try to get to know them. 
(_Try_. I try.)


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## i suck at life (Mar 14, 2014)

yep. i do the same thing. idk why, but i find it embarrassing when someone knows i like them, i feel like theyre gonna be like ewww she likes me... so i always try to make it seem like i dont like them.


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## bubbletea (May 31, 2014)

I'm the same... I can't help it. I just get nervous around them. They probably think I hate them lol


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

no I actually have a problem of not ignoring my crush


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## villadb (Dec 30, 2012)

I tend to ignore girls that are really attractive, but my crush ended up being one of my best friends. I haven't seen her for a while though, the last time I saw her she was on the phone and I just walked past pretending I hadn't seen her rather than wait around like a gooseberry for her to hang up and chat. I regret it tbh.


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## BrainChemistry (Oct 1, 2014)

This seem like me, but it can be the same for girls that I in general just find really attractive. The thing do is it seem that I sometimes see girls trying to ignore me. Is that maybe sign they like me or do I just make up in my brain that they ignore me to get it to seem like they like me. It is really hard to tell.


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## dontwaitupforme (Feb 23, 2013)

yes, in texts and calls.. i cant help it. (well actually i can. but still) irk


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## Wagnerian (Aug 5, 2014)

A little bit. Sometimes I try to make it seem like I actually do social or productive things in real life and therefore can't always be bothered.


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## shykid (Oct 15, 2014)

Cam1 said:


> Yeah, this is one of the many strange tendencies I have when it comes to "crushes". I think when I like someone, it's almost like I go out of my way to make them think that I don't like them.


I do it too. :yes 
Probably because I'm afraid of what my "crushes" reaction would be if she knew that I liked her..


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

Today I was waiting for the bus after school. One of my crushes (and yes I have multiple I don't know if that is normal or not but whatever) was standing waiting for the bus too. I said nothing. It seemed like it was a perfect opportunity, but yet I wasted it. Currently my acne is very bad, in my opinion at least, and so I'm very self conscious right now, more than usual, if that is possible. Right now I just want to cry. I hate the feeling inside I get when this happens. I feel like ****. I want to be able to talk to girls. I hate this so much.


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## sophiam (Mar 9, 2014)

Callsign said:


> No if I increase my amount of exposure to them, they might begin to believe I'm not odd as they would become accustomed to me.


I'm way too nervous for that lol ... I don't have the guts


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## sophiam (Mar 9, 2014)

Callsign said:


> Nervous-wise it seems to help me if I send them silly messages. It doesn't feel very brave.


I feel like it would make it worse haha I mean I would love to show my silly/witty side but I feel judged tbh


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

Callsign said:


> I think I make it worse when say something like 'hey bb hi2u' in what I think is an ironic way, and the supposed irony doesn't get across :dead


Nah don't say that to her. Bad idea.


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## LolaViola (Jun 23, 2013)

I wish I could press a button and stop developing crushes forever. They have done nothing but cause me sadness and pain.


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

LolaViola said:


> I wish I could press a button and stop developing crushes forever. They have done nothing but cause me sadness and pain.


Exactly I agree completely. &#128546;


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## Apathie (Dec 21, 2013)

sophiam said:


> it's a weird coping mechanism of mine, but i tend to ignore people i have a crush on ... maybe that way i don't have to talk to them or look at them, which triggers my anxiety?
> there's this guy i really, REALLY like (he has a girlfriend, though ha ha ha) and whenever i see him coming down the hallway i go the other way or i don't make eye contact like i physically can't do it


I think many people do this, including me. It's a common strategy with anxious people i suppose.


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

sophiam said:


> it's a weird coping mechanism of mine, but i tend to ignore people i have a crush on ... maybe that way i don't have to talk to them or look at them, which triggers my anxiety?
> there's this guy i really, REALLY like (he has a girlfriend, though ha ha ha) and whenever i see him coming down the hallway i go the other way or i don't make eye contact like i physically can't do it


It's the same thing with me


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

I remember having crushes in school and always looking away if they were looking in my direction. I have a hard time with eye contact anyway.


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## Calsad (Jun 21, 2014)

Guy I've liked for months avoids and ignores me. I reached out and asked if we could try be nice and things improved and we started talking. 
Then he ignored my birthday night invite didn't turn up.

so hard being on the other side


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

Calsad said:


> Guy I've liked for months avoids and ignores me. I reached out and asked if we could try be nice and things improved and we started talking.
> Then he ignored my birthday night invite didn't turn up.
> 
> so hard being on the other side


If you aren't afraid to ask him ask what's going on between you and him.


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

ravens said:


> I remember having crushes in school and always looking away if they were looking in my direction. I have a hard time with eye contact anyway.


There's this girl in my class who stares at me in class and when she looks at me I look away. If I like her what do I do?


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

jsmith92 said:


> There's this girl in my class who stares at me in class and when she looks at me I look away. If I like her what do I do?


Well don't do what I always did, which was nothing. I never talked to any of them.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I either ignore them or act *****y toward them.


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## Cacheton (Apr 5, 2014)

This is literally me any one I have any romantic feelings at all I end up avoiding and feeling really awkward the while time and it sucks because I feel like they think I hate them cause I may always look away from them and be super shy but then start talking to someone else who I have no feelings for with no problem. It's the struggle!!!


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## Calsad (Jun 21, 2014)

Can anyone explain why they ignore or act in a mean way towards them, I mean if you like them are you not kicking yourself all the time?


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

Cacheton said:


> This is literally me any one I have any romantic feelings at all I end up avoiding and feeling really awkward the while time and it sucks because I feel like they think I hate them cause I may always look away from them and be super shy but then start talking to someone else who I have no feelings for with no problem. It's the struggle!!!


Yes


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

ravens said:


> Well don't do what I always did, which was nothing. I never talked to any of them.


That's what always happens. It sucks. The one in my class like stares at me and it's obvious too.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

Calsad said:


> Can anyone explain why they ignore or act in a mean way towards them, I mean if you like them are you not kicking yourself all the time?


It can be due to a ton of things that depends on the individual. Some guys think that getting any reaction from a girl they like is the way to go, so being mean is often an easy way to attain that desired effect. Ignoring can also be due to different reasons; some guys (particularly on an SA site) can be shy when it comes to girls they're attracted to and are hesitant to pay attention to them in fear of bothering them or making themselves look bad.

My common habit is the latter case. In my experience, I start kicking myself right after I've finished ignoring them.


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

Rixy said:


> It can be due to a ton of things that depends on the individual. Some guys think that getting any reaction from a girl they like is the way to go, so being mean is often an easy way to attain that desired effect. Ignoring can also be due to different reasons; some guys (particularly on an SA site) can be shy when it comes to girls they're attracted to and are hesitant to pay attention to them in fear of bothering them or making themselves look bad.
> 
> My common habit is the latter case. In my experience, I start kicking myself right after I've finished ignoring them.


It's the same for me


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

Being in emotional pain almost all the time and this week physical pain as well, I don't want to burden anyone with my issues. There's this girl who stares at me during class, and I think she might be interested but I don't want to put my troubles onto anyone else so I have no choice but to stay away and ignore her. It just makes me feel worse to do this but I have no choice because there is nothing I can do. If I talked to her I would probably break down in tears or something. I'm such a pathetic individual.


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## antisocialbutterflye (Oct 22, 2014)

I sometimes feel like this with the people I am DATING. It's annoying , but I don't even know quite what triggers in


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

antisocialbutterflye said:


> I sometimes feel like this with the people I am DATING. It's annoying , but I don't even know quite what triggers in


At least you are capable of dating someone. &#128546;


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## antisocialbutterflye (Oct 22, 2014)

jsmith92 said:


> At least you are capable of dating someone. &#128546;


But dating someone isn't the solution. Dating someone isn't everything . Take your time alone an learn about the person you should love most on this earth : you. Enjoy your time alone. I know I did . I still do, mostly because I'm a %100 introvert, but it's an excellent trait to have to be able to be independent .


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

antisocialbutterflye said:


> But dating someone isn't the solution. Dating someone isn't everything . Take your time alone an learn about the person you should love most on this earth : you. Enjoy your time alone. I know I did . I still do, mostly because I'm a %100 introvert, but it's an excellent trait to have to be able to be independent .


I hate myself.


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## antisocialbutterflye (Oct 22, 2014)

I had that attitude. All through my teen years. Guess what :if you think that, why should someone else think of you better? I mean, you take the lead in example as to how you want to be treated, and if you treat yourself with disrespect, only harmful things will come of that. I got a boyfriend after I started TRYING to love myself. I sat try, because it's been a constant struggle over the last 6 years. It's constant and everyday, but I'm at least trying to make an improvement on how I look at myself. This is the only body I'll have fo4 this lifetime... Might as well love it while I'm in it.


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## antisocialbutterflye (Oct 22, 2014)

jsmith92 said:


> I hate myself.


 .


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## villadb (Dec 30, 2012)

I saw my old crush on the way out of work yesterday and actually stopped to have a chat. As I said before, I saw her a while ago and regretted not stopping to wait for her to finish her phonecall, so it felt good.


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## Potato Girl (Jul 22, 2013)

Not really, I try to put myself in situations where they can interact with me like sitting near them or talking to one of their friends and if they don't respond I'll most likely make the first move which is usually received well. It's weird because I'm extremely freaked out talking to strangers and people I don't know very well but more confident around boys I like, maybe its because I've never been rejected idk? I don't like the thought of liking someone and not doing anything to be with them even if it turns out they don't like me back, atleast you tried y'know? Better than a what if situation imo.


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## zoslow (Jun 2, 2014)

Yeah me and my crush made it a habit of ignoring each other...


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

jsmith92 said:


> Being in emotional pain almost all the time and this week physical pain as well, I don't want to burden anyone with my issues. There's this girl who stares at me during class, and I think she might be interested but I don't want to put my troubles onto anyone else so I have no choice but to stay away and ignore her. It just makes me feel worse to do this but I have no choice because there is nothing I can do. If I talked to her I would probably break down in tears or something. I'm such a pathetic individual.


If I was to say go talk to her I would be a hypocrite since that's something I couldn't do. Most of the time in school I was invisible unless I was being made fun of. I don't remember any girls ever staring at me.


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

ravens said:


> If I was to say go talk to her I would be a hypocrite since that's something I couldn't do. Most of the time in school I was invisible unless I was being made fun of. I don't remember any girls ever staring at me.


Man...this sucks. I mean whether they are staring at me or not it doesn't matter because I have to initiate and I'm a chicken.


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

shykid said:


> I do it too. :yes
> Probably because I'm afraid of what my "crushes" reaction would be if she knew that I liked her..


This is me 110%
But lucky for me i have not had a bad crush on someone for ages


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## lool (Nov 8, 2014)

I never stare at my crush, i act like I don't like him..ugh


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## Paranoid of Spies (Nov 3, 2011)

My question to some of you, is would you avoid classes in which your crushes are in? (if you could)


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

Paranoid of Spies said:


> My question to some of you, is would you avoid classes in which your crushes are in? (if you could)


No because I enjoy playing eye tag with them even though I'll never be able to approach them.


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## ChrissyQ (Apr 15, 2009)

zoslow said:


> Yeah me and my crush made it a habit of ignoring each other...


lol


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## ChrissyQ (Apr 15, 2009)

Yes! I go out of my way to avoid them I think what we really want to avoid is being rejected!


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

ChrissyQ said:


> Yes! I go out of my way to avoid them I think what we really want to avoid is being rejected tho!


It isn't that you think that's what it is, you know that is what it is.


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## BackToThePast (Aug 31, 2012)

I did this with my high school crush every single day as we passed by each other in the halls, for 3 freaking years. Even after I selected my gym classes specifically to be near her, I avoided her. I was so silly.


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## Kind Of (Jun 11, 2014)

I've always had trouble refusing them or sending them away, and in general just not being a sap. Doesn't mean I won't pretend it means nothing, though.


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

I avoid my crush because I am depressed and anxious among other things. It would be unfair to subject a girl to such mental instability. I can't torture someone like that. They deserve someone who is mentally stable. Someone who isn't me.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Sometimes I act overly buddy-buddy with people I'm interested in. Probably so I'll feel that I have the upper hand(to protect myself). That way I can wait and see if he shows a clear interest in me before I show anything but friendliness and slight flirtiness.


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## dontwaitupforme (Feb 23, 2013)

Yes, it doesnt matter who it is. Partially agree with probablyoffline in not wanting to get too "buddybuddy." The initial thrill is then replaced by a strong lingering sense of cringe. Ignoring someone seems like a justified choice of action. 




I cant even take what im writing seriously here. But if i like you.. Prepare for a wide berth.


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## sophiam (Mar 9, 2014)

waerdd said:


> I did this with my high school crush every single day as we passed by each other in the halls, for 3 freaking years. Even after I selected my gym classes specifically to be near her, I avoided her. I was so silly.


crushes are so stupid tbh


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## BackToThePast (Aug 31, 2012)

sophiam said:


> crushes are so stupid tbh


It makes us act differently, it's almost frightening how much a single person can influence my behavior. Like on the one hand it gave me something to look forward to everyday, on the other hand because I was the guy I was expected to approach her, which set her up for major disappointment and set me up for crushing guilt every day.


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

waerdd said:


> It makes us act differently, it's almost frightening how much a single person can influence my behavior. Like on the one hand it gave me something to look forward to everyday, on the other hand because I was the guy I was expected to approach her, which set her up for major disappointment and set me up for crushing guilt every day.


Yeah. I make myself look clean and sharp because I have a crush on this girl but I haven't spoken to any girls I have been interested in for 2 years now so I don't know why I keep doing it. I guess I am so pathetic I just want people to notice me now.


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## Vision7 (Oct 29, 2013)

jsmith92 said:


> Yeah. I make myself look clean and sharp because I have a crush on this girl but I haven't spoken to any girls I have been interested in for 2 years now so I don't know why I keep doing it. I guess I am so pathetic I just want people to notice me now.


I feel like we are the same person, to an extent. I also ignore my crushes. I did so in high school (mostly because the only time I noticed them looking at me was when some dumb *** teased me) and now that I'm an actual adult, nothing has changed! I also feel pathetic.. It's very sad. You're still in school, so younger than me I'm assuming. If there is ONE thing I can tell you. Just ONE piece of advice, Is to never regret. I live almost every day with constant regrets. It's torturous. It eats away at me. I can't describe it. Regret is the worst feeling I have felt. The regret to alter your attitude, treat someone differently, stepping up to do something. And EVERYDAY I tell myself I'll change. I eventually move one step forward but almost always end up taking 7 steps back. I'm still trying to overcome this. End of the day, no matter what happens, you walk away wiser, with more life experience. I'm being a massive hypocrite right now as I can't seem to change it. Hopefully you have the will power to. Hopefully I do someday as well. Hopefully.


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## ImBrittany (Nov 2, 2013)

Haha back in school I tried my best to avoid anyone that I had a spark of interest for. I dunno, now it seems like I'm fine talking to people that I like.


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## CoffeeGuy (Sep 23, 2013)

Paranoid of Spies said:


> My question to some of you, is would you avoid classes in which your crushes are in? (if you could)


No, I'd actually always hope that I got classes with my crushes because when I was by myself I was always confident that I would find the courage to start talking to them and get to know them, but whenever I actually met them my courage would melt away, anxiety would take over, and I'd continue to ignore them.


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## jsmith92 (Dec 30, 2013)

Vision7 said:


> I feel like we are the same person, to an extent. I also ignore my crushes. I did so in high school (mostly because the only time I noticed them looking at me was when some dumb *** teased me) and now that I'm an actual adult, nothing has changed! I also feel pathetic.. It's very sad. You're still in school, so younger than me I'm assuming. If there is ONE thing I can tell you. Just ONE piece of advice, Is to never regret. I live almost every day with constant regrets. It's torturous. It eats away at me. I can't describe it. Regret is the worst feeling I have felt. The regret to alter your attitude, treat someone differently, stepping up to do something. And EVERYDAY I tell myself I'll change. I eventually move one step forward but almost always end up taking 7 steps back. I'm still trying to overcome this. End of the day, no matter what happens, you walk away wiser, with more life experience. I'm being a massive hypocrite right now as I can't seem to change it. Hopefully you have the will power to. Hopefully I do someday as well. Hopefully.


Funny you brought up the one step forward and seven steps back thing. I feel like this except every step forward pushes me 30 steps back. I think of myself as Sisyphus. I honestly want to curl up into a ball and never leave my house at this rate.


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