# I don't know what to do in social situations



## Asrais (Aug 22, 2015)

I just got back from dropping my hubbie off a party, that I was supposed to go to too.
The party is a housewarming for one of his work mates that I don't know. I went in with him, to say hello - but as usual, I found myself standing silently, feeling like a complete loser.

I try to join in with the conversation, but feel the awkward silence after anything I say (that probably doesn't exist). There were other women at the party, who all knew each other, so I felt snubbed, no one made any effort to speak to me, even when I tried to talk to them, they kind of drifted away.

The party wasn't far from my home and hubby didn't mind me leaving, so I left to go home, I'll go back and collect him later.

I feel really defeated - but worse, there is another party next week, but this one is over an hours drive away, so not practical for me to escape. I won't be drinking, because I will have the car with me. I will spend the whole night letting my imagination make me feel like everyone hates me and is judging me.

I know that it's not true - I know it's all in my head and that, in all probability, no one even notices me, one way or the other. 

I hate this - it's so frustrating to see normal people having normal conversations and making friends, a part of everyday life, but something I just can't do.

I'm a grown women - I'm smart and funny and capable - why can't I show these qualities to the rest of the world? It's ridiculous!


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## ShadowOnTheWall (Dec 24, 2010)

It takes practice, but no one's judging you anyway so don't be too harsh on yourself if your not perfect. It's probably easier to primarily keep around people you know or get on well with, but you can still say hi to others. No one's going to hold it against you if you aren't leading all the conversations


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## macky (Jan 25, 2015)

No offence but it doesn't sound like your boyfriend was helping you out much at all through. Your his guest after all. It wouldn't take much for you to at least introduce you to people and make sure you're alright. Especially as he should know about your social anxiety traits.


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## Asrais (Aug 22, 2015)

macky said:


> No offence but it doesn't sound like your boyfriend was helping you out much at all through.


Husband. I guess he's not that helpful - not because he doesn't want to be, but because he doesn't know what to do to help me. He is an extrovert and is comfortable with these situations. He knows that I'm uncomfortable, and that I find it tough, but I don't think he gets how bad I am.

It's not his fault, I do my best to keep it hidden, I've done it all my life - and that is my problem, I think - I spent my life so far trying to hide my true self and now I don't know how to be myself anymore.

In fact, my husband is probably the only person who ever sees my real true self, he is the only one I trust not to reject me.


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## Clementin (Aug 25, 2015)

Asrais said:


> I do my best to keep it hidden, I've done it all my life - and that is my problem, I think - I spent my life so far trying to hide my true self and now I don't know how to be myself anymore.


This is just like me, but I also find that when trying to be myself, I really dont have anything to say. I wish there was easy to chit chat, but I find that kind of talk only tiring. I Guess it is normal for some to feel this way, but that one is judging oneself too hard.


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