# Counselor doesn't think I have SA?



## iamcarlbrain (Jan 24, 2011)

So I've been meeting with a counselor recently. She's actually a Social Work Intern, but seems professional and works alongside psychologist, psychiatrists and counselors. Anyway, I first met with her a week and a half ago and we just kind of went over how my anxiety affected me and so on. She gave me some 'homework' to do - simple stuff, writing down things that made me feel less anxious and writing down my goals. She also mentioned referring me to a doctor and getting me prescribed medication the next week. I was and still am open to this. Yesterday I had my second appointment with her. This time was similar to the last, but there she kept on trying to relate to the way I was feeling. It was almost like she was implying that I don't really have SA and that everyone feels the same anxiety in social situations. I'm not really sure she was suggesting this but it definitely felt that way at the time. She also talked about how she thought everyone could use therapy which I felt sort of went along with this idea. She talked as well about how 'brave' it was of me to make the appointment and see a counselor since the very nature of SA is to avoid doing such things. She made no mention of medication, but it does seem likely that she simply forgot since she also didn't discuss group therapy which she had the previous week. I have another appointment in two weeks - what do you guys think? Should I perhaps more explicitly describe the feelings I have around others so she believes me? I could ask to see a different person, but I would feel really uncomfortable doing this both in having to call the office and would simply hate having her know (and risk seeing her afterward) not to mention that I would have to start with a clean slate seeing someone new.


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## eek a mouse (Apr 14, 2010)

You should use paragraphs...its hard to read such a lump of text....

My counselor does the same thing to me and I think I know the point he is trying to make. Anxiety is very very normal and everyone has it, but usually anxiety operates in a subconcious level where it doesnt distract our conscious mind. We are so aware of our anxiety and how it is present that we bring it to the conscious level which causes all the problems we have....anxiety neurosis. 

By telling you that your anxiety is just the same as all the others is a way to accept the feeling and in a way let it go, so that it will return to the subconcious part of our brain. Its kinda like breathing, you are always doing it and you can either be aware or unaware that its happening and in both cases its normal. Which reminds me of a "trick". Be more aware of your breathing=less aware of your extra anxiety. 

hope that helps


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## paulyD (Feb 16, 2011)

iamcarlbrain said:


> So I've been meeting with a counselor recently. She's actually a Social Work Intern, but seems professional and works alongside psychologist, psychiatrists and counselors. Anyway, I first met with her a week and a half ago and we just kind of went over how my anxiety affected me and so on. She gave me some 'homework' to do - simple stuff, writing down things that made me feel less anxious and writing down my goals. She also mentioned referring me to a doctor and getting me prescribed medication the next week. I was and still am open to this. Yesterday I had my second appointment with her. This time was similar to the last, but there she kept on trying to relate to the way I was feeling. It was almost like she was implying that I don't really have SA and that everyone feels the same anxiety in social situations. I'm not really sure she was suggesting this but it definitely felt that way at the time. She also talked about how she thought everyone could use therapy which I felt sort of went along with this idea. She talked as well about how 'brave' it was of me to make the appointment and see a counselor since the very nature of SA is to avoid doing such things. She made no mention of medication, but it does seem likely that she simply forgot since she also didn't discuss group therapy which she had the previous week. I have another appointment in two weeks - what do you guys think? Should I perhaps more explicitly describe the feelings I have around others so she believes me? I could ask to see a different person, but I would feel really uncomfortable doing this both in having to call the office and would simply hate having her know (and risk seeing her afterward) not to mention that I would have to start with a clean slate seeing someone new.


if youve got social anxiety then you know it. you dont need a counsellor to tell you that you either have it or you dont. you already know yourself

a psychatrist once said he suspected i had borderline personality disorder. which i 100% do NOT. i do not have borderline personality disorder plain and simple. im not even close to having it

ive been to see countless counsellors and phychiatrits and pchyologist and none of it has helped at all, they'll all useless.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Some of them try to frame your experiences in terms of normality. They think it will make you feel better, but it's often based on misguided assumptions about what you need. They don't understand it can be dismissive of your experiences, and yes, it definitely comes across that they might not believe your diagnosis (self or otherwise) even if they actually think you have it. 

I left one session in shreds because I thought the therapist didn't believe my diagnosis or problems after she tried to reframe my experiences in terms of normality. I actually cried on the walk home then had an episode indoors alone. The next session, I wrote her a letter explaining this and it turned out she did believe my diagnosis but felt out of her depth. If I were you, I'd find an SAD specialist because general counselling's of limited use for it. ETA: Also, she forgot 2 things (meds and group) she said she'd discuss - not a great sign. And she's there to do a job and it will benefit no one if you just play along when you think it's not helping. They get used/are used to people leaving.


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## jangle1 (Jan 11, 2011)

At this point her use to you would be in referring you to a professional psychologist or psychiatrist. It would not do you much good to continue seeking therapy from her specifically. 

Medications and CBT have been shown to be efficacious in reducing the symptoms of social anxiety. The treatment options you choose depends on many factors. Such as time you want to take in getting better, amount of risks/responsibility you're willing to accept, and money/time you can spend on treatment.

CBT is time intensive/money intensive/commitment intensive. SSRIs are time intensive and a lot of experimenting to find the right combination/dosage. Even then they only work for probably around 50-60% of patients. MAOI Nardil has a large efficacy at treating SA, but it comes with risks such as hypertensive crisis.

So I wish you well in whatever path you choose, but realize the social worker you're with now is a dead end.


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## iamcarlbrain (Jan 24, 2011)

eek a mouse said:


> You should use paragraphs...its hard to read such a lump of text....


I tried but it got rid of them. Didn't realize that I need to enter page breaks.

Anyway, thanks for all the advice guys. I will see her again and try to work up the courage to mention medication and group therapy. I feel pretty confident she was just trying to make me feel more normal now that you guys mention it. If I feel like I'm not really getting anywhere after next visit I'll try to see someone else.


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