# Do you think someone significant in your life should...



## fluorish (Sep 24, 2016)

Do you think someone significant in your life should be responsible and take responsibility for the Way they make you feel emotionaly?


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

fluorish said:


> Do you think someone significant in your life should be responsible and take responsibility for the Way they make you feel emotionaly?


 Absolutely 100%

So what's on your mind, fluorish?


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## SamanthaStrange (Jan 13, 2015)

Idk, I honestly go back and forth on this.


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## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

Depends. Are they emotionally manipulative? Then yeah.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

There has to be some sort of acknowledgement and care, but to claim someone has "responsibility" for the way they make you feel sounds absurd. 

Obviously, there are cases where you get into a relationship with a very manipulative, abusive person, but at the end of the day you have a responsibility to YOURSELF to get the hell outta there.


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## Velorrei (Jan 30, 2011)

I used to think so. If they are really important, they should care about the way you feel, right? If they care about you on some level, then they are assuming at least a little bit of responsibility for your emotional health. 

However, it doesn't always go that way. Maybe this person doesn't realize how they make you feel. Or maybe this person doesn't care about how you feel. 


We are the only ones responsible for our emotions.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

no, you are responsible for your emotions, and for navigating away from bad situations. no one can look into your head and tell how you're feeling. express it, negotiate a better situation, or if that fails physically get away. or just stay and accept. all up to you.


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## firelight (Jan 31, 2019)

They're responsible for their words and actions, but your feelings are your responsibility.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

firelight said:


> They're responsible for their words and actions, but your feelings are your responsibility.


Well said.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

No entirely. If they are manipulative towards you, then yes, they should not play with your emotions or your heart like that. Been there in the past. Otherwise, they are your responsibility. No one "makes" you feel anything for the vast majority of the time.


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## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

fluorish said:


> Do you think someone significant in your life should be responsible and take responsibility for the Way they make you feel emotionaly?


Up to a point. But you also have to take responsibility. If someone makes you feel bad often, then it is time to move on. That's your responsibility.


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## donistired (Nov 29, 2018)

If you have pointed out specific ways that someone has hurt you emotionally, and they continue to hurt you in those ways then they most certainly are in the wrong and need to take responsibility. Although, there are times when a person should know better in general. Some people aren't just ignorant of the ways they may be hurting you, they're sadistic and go out of their way to hurt people or they're exceedingly selfish and can't perceive their own wrongdoing. I think we have responsibility to manage our own emotional world too though. Not everything that does hurt us emotionally as individuals should hurt us emotionally, and not everyone is trying to be hurtful. I think it's very situational.


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## fluorish (Sep 24, 2016)

Really late reply, but thanks to everyone that gave some feedback,



Sekiro said:


> Absolutely 100%
> 
> So what's on your mind, fluorish?


It superbly complicated but thanks for asking 



Velorrei said:


> I used to think so. If they are really important, they should care about the way you feel, right? If they care about you on some level, then they are assuming at least a little bit of responsibility for your emotional health.
> 
> However, it doesn't always go that way. Maybe this person doesn't realize how they make you feel. Or maybe this person doesn't care about how you feel.
> 
> Right on!





firelight said:


> They're responsible for their words and actions, but your feelings are your responsibility.


I have to disagree with you to a certain extent.


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

fluorish said:


> It superbly complicated but thanks for asking


It's just really difficult to give you advice when I don't know the context.

It's true you're responsible for what you say to other people and how that makes them feel. At the same length as others to say you're also responsible for how you feel about things.


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## fluorish (Sep 24, 2016)

Sekiro said:


> It's just really difficult to give you advice when I don't know the context.
> 
> It's true you're responsible for what you say to other people and how that makes them feel. At the same length as others to say you're also responsible for how you feel about things.


Yeah that makes sence, it's like telling someone significant to your life your partner a parent anyone, that u don't want to be treated a certain way, or spoke to in a certain way but they continue to do something that you've made clear is really bothering you. That's something I'm finding hard to deal with atm


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## Sekiro (Dec 29, 2019)

fluorish said:


> Yeah that makes sence, it's like telling someone significant to your life your partner a parent anyone, that u don't want to be treated a certain way, or spoke to in a certain way but they continue to do something that you've made clear is really bothering you. That's something I'm finding hard to deal with atm


People close to you in your life should do things in your best interest. You'll hear it all the time, "Make sure you're around quality people."

There's a difference between being mean-spirited and giving constructive criticism, but if they're that close to you then if they're making you feel bad all of the time because they're saying mean things to you, there's no obligation to stick around them. Ultimately you're the master of the relationships in your life and you have to be the one to step away from people that are hurting you. Just because people in your life should take accountability doesn't mean they will, and more often than not they won't.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

fluorish said:


> Do you think someone significant in your life should be responsible and take responsibility for the Way they make you feel emotionaly?


 There is a lot of empty space in this question.


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## CNikki (Aug 9, 2013)

Ultimately I'm going to side with no. It's not easy, but in the end you can control on who you let in by learning about different behaviors and any red signals about them.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

IDK... Why do things have to be so complicated 😞


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Yes. Along with the fair balance of one also being responsible for themselves in how they feel emotionally from others.


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## fluorish (Sep 24, 2016)

Sekiro said:


> People close to you in your life should do things in your best interest. You'll hear it all the time, "Make sure you're around quality people."
> 
> There's a difference between being mean-spirited and giving constructive criticism, but if they're that close to you then if they're making you feel bad all of the time because they're saying mean things to you, there's no obligation to stick around them. Ultimately you're the master of the relationships in your life and you have to be the one to step away from people that are hurting you. Just because people in your life should take accountability doesn't mean they will, and more often than not they won't.


Thanks for the feedback! I find this quite true.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Probably not quite the point of the thread but it's annoying when people expect others to mirror their mood or to do emotional labour for them. Both irl and online.

Sometimes people aren't OK. Sometimes people aren't OK all the time. Deal with it.


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## Fun Spirit (Mar 5, 2014)

Well everyone's situation is different. Every situation has a different level of severity. For me I wish not to blame a person for hurting me. I rather stay quiet.


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## PandaBearx (May 26, 2013)

I think people are responsible for their words and actions, but that we're also responsible for our emotions and how we handle certain things.


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## Lohikaarme (Aug 28, 2013)

At the very least they should assume responsibility to not deliberately be an ******* to me


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## Rains (Jan 20, 2016)

Kind of? But it's impossible because they'd probably have to become another person in order to understand what they did, since they normally don't get it as they are. And I can't be bothered, and I don't even think about that kind of stuff anymore. They're just going to be whoever they are and you just need to learn to put some distance between you and them.


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