# Are we just too old for this site?



## Jeff (Nov 11, 2005)

*Is this site losing it's s.a.d. focus?*

Hopefully I don't offend anyone, but does anyone else feel like the majority of members on SAS are immature "kids"? I'm 37 and I feel more and more disconnected to this website. It just seems like most of the threads (outside of this subforum) are written by insecure, immature people who probably have more problems with confidence and self esteem than they do with actual social anxiety disorder. It seems like rather than constructive, well-thought out threads, I see a lot of threads and infighting about trivial things. I don't know, maybe I'm just getting old, but I just wish this site felt more constructive and supportive as a whole.

EDIT: I think some people have missed my point a bit, which I tried to clarify in a subsequent reply below.


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

My guess was that while there may be a bit of overlap, 2 major groups exist. Some of us have
An almost innate fear of people (SAD)/Natural inhibition leading to social avoidance; that is, we are capable of doing socially well but the fear/inhibitedness/disinterest/introversion prevents us from entering into social situations.
Others of us are social failures for a variety of different reasons (personality, environment, etc.) and this leads to SAD and eventually to avoidance. We realize we aren't good socially, as we are scorned/rejected by others, so social situations become aversive to us.
Then again, I posted this and there weren't many responses, so maybe I was mistaken?


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## LynnNBoys (Jul 13, 2011)

I did notice that most members seem to be in the under 25 group. I think the things you mentioned just come with the territory (of being young and lacking life experience). 

I guess I just skip over the threads which seem to have too much drama or fighting. Maybe it's because I'm relatively new here. I figured it would be similar to my real life, find a couple people I have things in common with and exchange ideas and experiences with them. Maybe learn a few things about myself along the way, maybe help someone learn about him/herself.

But yes, it can be annoying to see a thread containing the equivalent of "I know you are, but what am I?" childish fight.


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## kesker (Mar 29, 2011)

I see your point and I spend less time on the threads than I did when I was new, but I think if you keep putting yourself out there and communicating with members directly you'll find some (and many of them young, I'm talking 15 to 30) who have a huge amount of knowledge, wisdom and compassion. There is some generational stuff to deal with, for instance I didn't grow up with a computer and a cell phone so my communication techniques are a bit behind the younger people but in the end I think people are people and many here have been both kind and mature. Of course, my emotional development probably stopped at around 17 so there you go. I hope you stick around and feel a bunch of members out (maybe you already have). Just keep searching. You'll find them. Take care.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

I've noticed many in the more aged category aren't much different. But it might make a difference to my stress levels here if the average age were higher. I've not really considered it. I don't think older members would be as prone to making obnoxious posts in crush threads or who you'd like to kiss threads. Or displaying their relationships/sex lives with other members all over the board. I've also noticed some who confuse normal social anxiety with SAD or who have no idea what clinical social skill deficits, isolation and social disability are. I wouldn't want the board to consist of mostly mature members though because I'd find it stressful in another way.


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

odd_one_out said:


> I wouldn't want the board to consist of mostly mature members though because I'd find it stressful in another way.


Me either. I'd feel like I was in the "real" world of adults, where you can't have any fun and/or no-one takes what you say seriously and treats you more like a child. Even when you say something that may be useful. Basically the story of my life.


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## wootmehver (Oct 18, 2007)

Maturity is overblown. It's a word that you use to control others.

The older you get the more you feel like you have to drag "Maturity Mountain" around wherever you go and "act your age" and don't have too much fun, don't act childish (unless you are around kids which grants you a special dispensation to act goofy), when the fact is that getting in touch with your inner child is the essence of creativity. We all need to dump the cultural garbage we accumulate over the years and see the world with fresh eyes.


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## SPC (May 14, 2011)

i dont see it as an age or "maturity" issue. someone with the correct life experiences at the age of 18-20 could have more knowledge and insight to offer someone whos 30+. good solutions to our questions and/or problems can be answered by any age group if they have the requisite mixture of smarts and relevant experiences to not only correctly identify the problem but also be able to suggest a good method to solve it. i will agree that many of the threads and responses in certain sections is just immature venting and i tend to avoid those threads, because if you tell those people that life has more to offer than just whats in the scope of their teenage angst they'll more than likely personally attack you for being unsympathetic.


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## Jeff (Nov 11, 2005)

I would agree with many of you who suggested that many of the younger people _do_ have the experience and insight from which older members can learn and see possible solutions of their own problems from another perspective. But I think what bothers me is that this site is intended to be a place for those with social anxiety disorder (social phobia), yet it seems that a very high number of members here are just going through the normal growing pains that many 16-24 year old's go through. I see more cases of insecurity, low self-esteem and situational-anxiety than I do full blown social anxiety disorder. Many of these people have self-diagnosed, and some have flat out admitted they don't even have social phobia. I've met enough SAD sufferers in real life to know that many people with this disorder are older. I guess I'm just venting here to some extent, but I just wish this site marketed itself more to actual S.A.D. sufferer's, seems like it's become more like the hundreds of other general forums on the web.


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## SPC (May 14, 2011)

^ i dont disagree with anything you said. i dont see an alternative though... we cant cull people based on whos been medically diagnosed or not, although i agree that self-diagnosis is one of the more damaging things one can do to themselves as teenagers. i guess i treat this forum now much like i view people in real life...have to wade through a lot of crap to get to the good things.

full disclosure: im 24 years old.


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## stephh (Mar 16, 2011)

odd_one_out said:


> I've noticed many in the more aged category aren't much different. But it might make a difference to my stress levels here if the average age were higher. I've not really considered it. I don't think older members would be as prone to making obnoxious posts in crush threads or who you'd like to kiss threads. Or displaying their relationships/sex lives with other members all over the board. I've also noticed some who confuse normal social anxiety with SAD or who have no idea what clinical social skill deficits, isolation and social disability are. I wouldn't want the board to consist of mostly mature members though because I'd find it stressful in another way.


This is part of my main complaint about the forum, which I started posting at about a week ago.

- Many members don't actually have SA, which is the name of the forum .. or are mistakenly self-diagnosed (by confusing regular situational anxiety like public speaking with SAD)

- Many members are judgmental and rude which happens because this forum is fairly 'anonymous' and we're behind computers

- It's all about 'oh you only have agoraphobia? you're lucky I have blah blah blah' really? it's not about quantifying who deals with what that's worse, although that kind of makes me hypocritical for my first point

I'm just tired of the meanness and people being judgmental. If you are just here to judge and make negative posts about people, why are you here. I guess it makes them feel better about themselves.

Also I am 19.9 y/o, but this thread intrigued me  sorry


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## KeithB72 (Aug 8, 2009)

I don't have a problem with age so much as I have a problem with experience. And, it's not even a "problem," per se. It's just a lack of connection because I do feel like I am at a different place in life than many of the posters here on SAS. I don't like to belittle what other people are going through, because I don't feel what they feel and I don't think it's right for me to judge or invalidate another person's suffering. However, I would be lying to you if I didn't say that I am human, and I do find myself judging and thinking that for many people, the SA does seem situational and a phase. Whereas, I know that I have had such huge problems my entire freaking life just trying to interact and get through life like a "normal" human being. Add to that the being gay thing, and I feel like I am part of this really small niche of old gay people with social anxiety disorder, and the vast majority of people don't really understand that experience, can't identify with me, and therefore I cannot really connect with them. It's not a one upsmanship on who has the worst life or anything like that. It's just that there are unique challenges to the kind of existence that I lead. (Add in the low self esteem and depression...and blah blah blah.)

So, it's not really the age as much as it is trying to find an experiential connection, and it's frustrating to not be able to because it's the same experience that I have in real life. This is merely one additional outlet where I try to make that connection but have kind of failed. This is nobody's fault, it's just my experience.

I will say that I agree on the drama/fighting thing. All the other stuff, while disappointing, makes sense to me. But, I just did not expect to come here and become embroiled in fighting. I was expecting a much more safe and supportive space, and it's been really upsetting to me that there seem to be a lot of people that would just rather fight about stuff. And, sadly, that's not unique to the younger crowd.


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

KeithB72 said:


> I will say that I agree on the drama/fighting thing. All the other stuff, while disappointing, makes sense to me. But, I just did not expect to come here and become embroiled in fighting. I was expecting a much more safe and supportive space, and it's been really upsetting to me that there seem to be a lot of people that would just rather fight about stuff. And, sadly, that's not unique to the younger crowd.


I honestly thought that having SAD would make one severely embarassed to be a jerk, even if they wanted to be. Because they would feel... embarassed or guilty about it. I'm rude sometimes but when someone tells me what I did or when I think more deeply about what I did, I feel like total crap. I thought that people with SAD would be afraid to quarrel/argue/fight even if they sometimes felt they might be right?


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## kesker (Mar 29, 2011)

I don't think we can make a determination of weather or not one has SA based solely on how they present on this website. They could come off as something other than shy or phobic because they are feeling safe enough to allow part of themselves that normally doesn't get the chance to speak finally see the light of day. Having SA makes it difficult to talk about all the other issues a lot of us have, so they naturally come out here as well. I like to think this place gives us a chance to air whatever happens to be on our mind, even if it has nothing to do with SA. Let your freak flag fly!


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## KeithB72 (Aug 8, 2009)

Kon said:


> I honestly thought that having SAD would make one severely embarassed to be a jerk, even if they wanted to be. Because they would feel... embarassed or guilty about it. I'm rude sometimes but when someone tells me what I did or when I think more deeply about what I did, I feel like total crap. I thought that people with SAD would be afraid to quarrel/argue/fight even if they sometimes felt they might be right?


I thought the same thing--that people would be too meek to start fighting with one another. I feel the same way, though. I feel embarrassed and guilty, and my stomach is all churn-y if I get involved in something. And, I usually try very hard to end it or tone down the rhetoric. Of course, I would probably be more successful if I didn't respond at all. But, I have this tug of war going on inside of me where I want very desperately to just stop, but I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't make some sort of response to defend myself. This is one of those things where I am different in real life. Because, in real life, I will just completely shut down and say, "ok, ok, ok," just to end something and then I will walk away "defeated." I guess online I'm a little more courageous about trying to at least not let someone be a total jackass to me even though my stomach is still doing flip flops the entire time. I hate the feeling of it all.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Kon said:


> I honestly thought that having SAD would make one severely embarassed to be a jerk, even if they wanted to be. Because they would feel... embarassed or guilty about it. I'm rude sometimes but when someone tells me what I did or when I think more deeply about what I did, I feel like total crap. I thought that people with SAD would be afraid to quarrel/argue/fight even if they sometimes felt they might be right?


Haha, me too! Boy was I wrong!!!

Actually, in a way, my encounters with said obnoxious people have helped me. I've certainly gotten a lot better at speaking my mind and defending myself!


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## LynnNBoys (Jul 13, 2011)

KeithB72 said:


> I thought the same thing--that people would be too meek to start fighting with one another. I feel the same way, though. I feel embarrassed and guilty, and my stomach is all churn-y if I get involved in something. And, I usually try very hard to end it or tone down the rhetoric. Of course, I would probably be more successful if I didn't respond at all. But, I have this tug of war going on inside of me where I want very desperately to just stop, but I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't make some sort of response to defend myself. This is one of those things where I am different in real life. Because, in real life, I will just completely shut down and say, "ok, ok, ok," just to end something and then I will walk away "defeated." I guess online I'm a little more courageous about trying to at least not let someone be a total jackass to me even though my stomach is still doing flip flops the entire time. I hate the feeling of it all.


I try to avoid conflict at all costs 99.9% of the time in real life. I do that a lot online too, but am sometimes braver. Though sometimes I reread what I wrote and decide to delete it because I'm embarrassed or I think the other person will take it the wrong way.


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## ForgetMeForever (May 3, 2011)

Kevco said:


> Maturity is overblown. It'a a word that you use to control others.
> 
> The older you get the more you feel like you have to drag "Maturity Mountain" around wherever you go and "act your age" and don't have too much fun, don't act childish (unless you are around kids which grants you a special dispensation to act goofy), when the fact is that getting in touch with your inner child is the essence of creativity. We all need to dump the cultural garbage we accumulate over the years and see the world with fresh eyes.


I totally agree.

When I first came here I felt very uncomfortable and just wanted to find my own age group to huddle around. Eventually I felt comfortable enough to allow myself to relate to posts without looking at the age first. I'm feeling playful. And I'm now starting to get back into making art. So I find the SAS youth refreshing.

Although if you're feeling a bit down and you just want some sympathy...its hard to post out in the general group, especially if you have your age showing. Its difficult to allow yourself to feel vulnerable around "youngsters". It seems like you are expected to have your life perfectly together by a certain age...or be open to mocking. :afr


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

The kids are alright.


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## demureCat (Jun 17, 2010)

Kevco said:


> Maturity is overblown. It'a a word that you use to control others.
> 
> The older you get the more you feel like you have to drag "Maturity Mountain" around wherever you go and "act your age" and don't have too much fun, don't act childish (unless you are around kids which grants you a special dispensation to act goofy), when the fact is that getting in touch with your inner child is the essence of creativity. We all need to dump the cultural garbage we accumulate over the years and see the world with fresh eyes.


Tru dat!!!

I still ride the back of my grocery cart when leaving the store.


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## Hideko (Jul 2, 2011)

This is one of the better threads I've read thru and almost everything really makes sense and I agree with so much with the age/experience opinions. Seems as though us 'older' people tend to want to solve our problems a bit more and want to use this site for that while too many of the younger crowd just use this for a social site and also for too much venting, everything is a crisis when you're 18,:no just gets so tiring reading thru those threads. Think we need to use this section more,:idea doesn't get enough action here, instead of using other sections we should use this one first for our problems or to hopefully help the next person out.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

stephh said:


> - It's all about 'oh you only have agoraphobia? you're lucky I have blah blah blah' really? it's not about quantifying who deals with what that's worse, although that kind of makes me hypocritical for my first point


I haven't noticed this much at all between conditions. It's mostly a gender war about SAD. It's mainly those who equate having sex and relationships with lack of SAD.

I find it's more the differences in my conditions (the comorbids) that make it hard to relate to the majority, rather than age. I doubt many can relate to me because they live on a different planet and don't know ones like me can exist.


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## Nameless Someone (Oct 21, 2010)

Kon said:


> I honestly thought that having SAD would make one severely embarassed to be a jerk, even if they wanted to be. Because they would feel... embarassed or guilty about it. I'm rude sometimes but when someone tells me what I did or when I think more deeply about what I did, I feel like total crap. I thought that people with SAD would be afraid to quarrel/argue/fight even if they sometimes felt they might be right?


This is what I originally thought as well.


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## Snuffy (Oct 5, 2010)

Hideko said:


> Think we need to use this section more,:idea doesn't get enough action here, instead of using other sections we should use this one first for our problems or to hopefully help the next person out.


Yeppers.


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## GermanHermit (Sep 6, 2008)

I'm terribly annoyed when getting run-of-the-mill or commonplace advice from people half my age!

But it is true, every now and then I am very impressed by the thoughts and ideas of people half my age. I really appreciate those.

But most of the time is a good discussion quickly destroyed by those who feel the need to systematically distribute their mindless comments like with a salt shaker on anything and everything. Often terribly proud of their postcounts.

I also agree that there is far too much competition of misery and too much complaining on a high level. (Although, I am aware that there is a need for that from time to time, when feeling down.)

Too little constructive criticism and constructive advice!!! But too much self-display and image cultivation!

So, now I hardly ever read and post anywhere else than in here.


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## Hideko (Jul 2, 2011)

^^ Couldn't have put it any better than you did,:yes feel mostly the same way. It's not only here, other sites where people go to get some 'help' are the same way with so many whiners and with so many repetitive threads about the same subject, guess it's our decision whether to read them or not, find myslf reading them less and less becuase they're usuually not helpful to most that come here. And like you this is the first place I normally check out, don't always post but it helps reading about others problems, lifes, etc.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

The site is populated by younger people, but a lot of us who are a few years older still have the same problems we had at that age. Socially, I haven't progressed one bit since I was a young child. A lot of the topics on the board deal with relationships, and I personally have much less experience (zero, in fact) than someone less than half my age.


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## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

I've been on these boards since I was in my early twenties and over time I have accepted that I will have have some form of SAD my entire life -- but in my younger years I think it may have been important to have hope and the fantasy that I would magically get better and my core personality and temperament could change.

I'm no longer seeking answers or cures or even advice, I think that's the biggest difference for me between the age gaps. I guess I just like the conversations and to feel I'm not alone in this.


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## copper (Nov 10, 2003)

Well it is something to get use to due there are 70 million Generation Y compared to 30 million Generation Xer's. The baby boom generation had around 80 million individuals.


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## jesus is my savior (Aug 4, 2011)

EremitaGermanus said:


> I'm terribly annoyed when getting run-of-the-mill or commonplace advice from people half my age!
> 
> But it is true, every now and then I am very impressed by the thoughts and ideas of people half my age. I really appreciate those.
> 
> ...


You don't know whats it's like to be a teenager. The school building is the world to us. If we are not popular or are bullied or have a handful of friends, it's as if the whole world hates us. Yeah, it's true, school is such a small part of our lives, but that doesn't make it any less painful. Because of this, the majority of members don't have anxiety or any disease, but that world, the school campus, just isn't being too kind to them.
Ever hear "out of the mouth of babe comes wisdom?" eh?


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## velvet1 (Aug 11, 2010)

Well just because some are younger doesn't mean they're not those who are mature. I even see those threads and ignore them. They all seem about venting how life is just miserable, at least do something. Its ok to vent once in a while but if you're not taking at least a small step than the problems are going to keep popping up.


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## SaigeJones (Mar 17, 2008)

What do you consider young? I am 26 and i consider those between to 25 - 33 to be my peers so i hang out here alot.


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

odd_one_out said:


> I find it's more the differences in my conditions (the comorbids) that make it hard to relate to the majority, rather than age. I doubt many can relate to me because they live on a different planet and don't know ones like me can exist.


Actually I have far less trouble understanding some of your difficulties than relating to many of the threads talking about loneliness, facebook popularity, getting laid or how one could be more well-rounded so they could talk to more people. I can just barely handle the few people that I know and talk to. I can't understand this stuff and sometimes I feel like smashing my monitor (I don't know why) and yet I still have SAD.


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## EagerMinnow84 (Sep 1, 2007)

I always felt invisible around people my own age, even here. There are so many cliques that it isn't difficult to feel a bit left out. I tend to get along with people older than myself better than ones that are in their twenties. It oftentimes feels like high school.


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## Night Fury (Jan 5, 2011)

I am somewhat in the same boat as IcedOver. While I am 32 years old, in many ways I feel like I never passed 20. Throughout my life the majority of my friends have been younger. I can barely relate to people my own age, especially now that so many of them are married and have kids.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

I think I definitely am, but not because of the reasons mentioned. Just when I think I am tired of some of the repetitive threads, I am then completely taken aback by the wisdom and conduct displayed by younger, sometimes much younger, members of the forum. Or maybe the real issue is that I no longer feel I have much to contribute except silly, crappy jokes which is no contribution at all. 

I think that when you get down to it, underneath it all, the arguments, the disagreements, the recounting of disappointments, frustrations, the asking of questions, the posts and responses, it depends on the individual. Sure, there will be things that I have not been concerned with for a very long time, such as how to deal with high school, first job, etc, but it's easy enough to skip over those. On the other hand, you never know where you're liable to come across a great post, even in threads that you think will have no interest for you whatsoever. 

It's a tough call sometimes. I like to think that in a social situation where there was a mix of ages, I could at least make some kind of small talk with whomever, or at least that it's something I should work on just as much as talking to anyone else. So, should I attempt the same thing here, or not? I feel like I should, but then maybe I'm just making a nuisance of myself. I don't know. 

well, that's my rambling, stumbling response.


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## Hideko (Jul 2, 2011)

Night Fury said:


> I am somewhat in the same boat as IcedOver. While I am 32 years old, in many ways I feel like I never passed 20. Throughout my life the majority of my friends have been younger. I can barely relate to people my own age, especially now that so many of them are married and have kids.


Don't think I could have said it better, that's my biggest problem is dealing with others around my own age. Like you said most now have kids, families, better jobs, more of an all around life and I wasn't able to attain any of that and it's made me stop wanting to see people then. Don't know if it's SA, depression, shame or a bit of all of them but it's made me withdraw from others at least in real life, hard feeling/emotion to explain.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

No, you old people are cool as hell


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## erasercrumbs (Dec 17, 2009)

Kon said:


> I honestly thought that having SAD would make one severely embarassed to be a jerk, even if they wanted to be. Because they would feel... embarassed or guilty about it. I'm rude sometimes but when someone tells me what I did or when I think more deeply about what I did, I feel like total crap. I thought that people with SAD would be afraid to quarrel/argue/fight even if they sometimes felt they might be right?


The problem, I think, lies in two kinds of social outcasts--social avoidants, and anti-socials. Speaking as the former, I can safely say that they don't mix well.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

jesus is my savior said:


> You don't know whats it's like to be a teenager. The school building is the world to us. If we are not popular or are bullied or have a handful of friends, it's as if the whole world hates us. Yeah, it's true, school is such a small part of our lives, but that doesn't make it any less painful. Because of this, the majority of members don't have anxiety or any disease, but that world, the school campus, just isn't being too kind to them.
> Ever hear "out of the mouth of babe comes wisdom?" eh?


I am 36, been out of high school half my life ago - yeah, I do remember. We aren't Alzheimer's :lol
Yeah, my time in HS was rough, too. It started getting worse immediately after I graduated.


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## Ambient (Aug 16, 2011)

I was a bit worried when I saw the number of 16-22 y/o's posting on threads. But then I realized that if I didn't know their age, I would have assumed they were in my own age group (mostly). They are going through the same things I am.

I'm still the same guy I was at 25, just older.


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## tot (Aug 19, 2011)

Sorry to sound dumb but whats a comorbid?


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## Nichiren (Aug 15, 2011)

Kevco said:


> Maturity is overblown. It's a word that you use to control others.
> 
> The older you get the more you feel like you have to drag "Maturity Mountain" around wherever you go and "act your age" and don't have too much fun, don't act childish (unless you are around kids which grants you a special dispensation to act goofy), when the fact is that getting in touch with your inner child is the essence of creativity. We all need to dump the cultural garbage we accumulate over the years and see the world with fresh eyes.


:clap:clap


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## Nichiren (Aug 15, 2011)

My SAD is a side effect of my schizophrenia and aspergers.
Was searching for being more comfortable alone on google and i got to this site.


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## randomprecision (Aug 19, 2011)

While I am old (43) and have a manageable handle on some aspects of my SA I would like to think I could help some of the younger members.....At least by reminding them they are not alone if nothing else.
Also I don't feel so alone any more :group


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## ilsr (Aug 29, 2010)

I think many of the younger folk who come here could have early symptoms of severe SAD. But I also feel that there are many who come here because they wouldn't be able to post what can be posted here on any other site. 

Despite the negatives here, there are quite enough people who empathize here than any other site for peer pressure problems. When I was their age, there was no recourse , there was no internet. In general you back then you were just labeled schzoid. And current statistics say 1 in 5 schzoids who grew up "normal" until early adult commit suicide. 

Before this site, there were usenet forums where if you tried to talk about your problems in the social anxiety/social phobia "alt" groups you would usually get attacked by some troll like "Morey". Or just told to kill yourself, if not told by other peers already. 

So this is kind of a semi-anonymous haven where others can dare to relate.


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## shy girl (May 7, 2010)

I'm only 14 but I felt the need to respond to this thread-certainly not to completely disagree! I agree that many users on this site are suffering from the insecurities and shyness that most teens and young people go through, I'm not belittling their situations but it doesn't change the fact that this is a social anxiety forum. I just searched on Google for a shyness forum and got several results and I searched for a low self-esteem forum and also got a result. However, the difference between social anxiety and shyness are blurred even in the eyes of some psychologists so it is not entirely teenagers' faults. This may be an unpopular opinion but I think that the diagnostic criteria for social anxiety disorder should be made so that the difference between SAD and shyness is made even clearer. 

However, some of the teens on this site really do have crippling SA which is just as bad as the over 30s experience. There are some who do experience panic attacks if they speak to someone; have no friends and may not be able to attend school. I hope this post doesn't just reinforce your opinion that the teens on this site are just immature!

EDIT: After reading some of the other posts on this thread, I agree that there are too many threads showcasing how bad they have it. This annoys me because there are so many more worse things that could happen to you than having SAD or "not being able to get a girl/boyfriend". Ungratefulness is the one thing that instantly turns me off from people and the young population are full of it. Also, many of the threads asking for advice or pity have been posted before. There is a search feature to prevent this.


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## justlistening (Dec 4, 2006)

shy girl said:


> I hope this post doesn't just reinforce your opinion that the teens on this site are just immature!


No, not at all. Please don't worry about that. Your post sounded very mature.
I'm always extra interested to read the points of view of the youngest members here.


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## shy girl (May 7, 2010)

justlistening said:


> No, not at all. Please don't worry about that. Your post sounded very mature.
> I'm always extra interested to read the points of view of the youngest members here.


Hehe thanks .


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## AM1432 (Aug 27, 2011)

Kon said:


> _I honestly thought that having SAD would make one severely embarassed to be a jerk, even if they wanted to be. Because they would feel... embarassed or guilty about it. I'm rude sometimes but when someone tells me what I did or when I think more deeply about what I did, I feel like total crap. I thought that people with SAD would be afraid to quarrel/argue/fight even if they sometimes felt they might be right?_





Nameless Someone said:


> This is what I originally thought as well.


_I thought so too. Hello all 33 here and new to the forum. I have actually had some pretty nice responses from some of the teens and early 20's... I haven't seen too much of the fighting. I have noticed a lot of teens here.. I like this folder _


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

In my case I can feel alienated sometimes, but I attribute that to my tendency to feel alienated even among people who are very similar to me. There are plenty of threads and whole sections of the site where I usually feel comfortable.

When I'm feeling weird here it usually starts with me and then I may compound things by searching the site for evidence that I stick out.


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## Deadguy (Aug 19, 2011)

I don't know if anyone is too old for this site, but I'd say once you reach a certain age, you either accept who you are or find a way to turn your life around. 

I'm guessing that for a lot of people, once they reach 30, it would be hard for them to steer their lives in a different direction. Those that have turned their lives around have very little need to come to forums such as this. Those that haven't are stuck in their ways and are either unwilling to change or too far gone to take any chances. 

The ages of 16-24 are very difficult because you are faced with an uncertain future and you are seeking as much guidance as possible to get on the right path. That might be why the majority of the posters here are in that age group.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

One of the most amazing things I've discovered was how much I can connect with people of all different ages. I've made really good friends with people double my age and beyond! I cherish those connections more than any younger connection of mine simply because the level of maturity they have. I respect and am drawn to strong character.

EDIT: Also, being someone who works with younger and older people, I can tell you that someone's character always shines through their age. A 17 year old, while he may be rambunctious holds a certain character about him he'll carry on into his adulthood, and the older folks also have that character they had when they were younger, just more refined.

Let me also point out that I've had neighbors, college students, co-workers, family members, people from the internet, etc, etc, etc, and of various ages, show different levels of maturity. While I claim maturity to be a set of responsibility, strong character, experience and fortitude, others may claim maturity as experience only, and while older folks do have more experience in life, in my mind they _may_ not hold the same maturity I define, such as listed above.

I've seen drunks in their 20s and 60s who can't cope with life. I've had neighbors of varying ages ranging from 18 to 50 who party like they never partied int heir lives! I've seen old men dating women in their 20s. I've seen cougars dating younger men. I've heard of insecurities of older and younger people who reflect the same concerns regardless of their difference of life spans, education, or financial situations, etc...

Just goes to show you age can be a deceiving thing. The more open we are about ourselves the more I think we will find a connection with others regardless of age gaps. I do think it takes a bit of self-knowledge/knowing to be able to share yourself like that though. Some people simply don't know better or refuse to connect.


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## lynnb (May 10, 2011)

Ambient said:


> I was a bit worried when I saw the number of 16-22 y/o's posting on threads. But then I realized that if I didn't know their age, I would have assumed they were in my own age group (mostly). They are going through the same things I am.
> 
> I'm still the same guy I was at 25, just older.


I feel the same way. I understand how they feel, because I've been there. I wish I had the resources and courage to try to tackle my social anxiety when I was their age. I hope they can all overcome it and not have to go through all that I have.


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## i just want luv (Feb 13, 2011)

People try to prove how bad they have it , and when someone does well its almost like some try to pull them back down saying they have it easy. It seems like some dont try to get better yet try to prove how bad they have it.
I wish there was a more positive outlook here, like "how i'm going to better next time."

I know I know i'm seeing my way out yall zone.


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## gadjo (Sep 5, 2011)

A wise man once said "90% of everything is crap". There's just going to be a lot of BS on any forum like this. I don't think it has to do so much with age as the fact that this forum will attract a lot of people who don't actually have the brain-bug in question and just use it as a place to talk out their arse. Younger people are probably more likely to do that, but it's certainly not exclusive to them. We could start a 30+ forum, but pretty soon old jackasses would find us.

Short of draconian admin deleting posts left and right it's just gonna be this way.


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## Escape Artist (Aug 23, 2011)

Being a 30 year old university student, I had to get over age differences long ago and learn to get along with younger folks.


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## lastresort (Jun 16, 2010)

A good chunk of the frustration and coping forums are posts by insecure teenagers. It's depressing sometimes because it's a reminder of my own age and inadequacies- 

i visit a site where i find that i have a bunch of stuff in common (emotionally) with a bunch of young, insecure kids- prettty sad.


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## Koopaatroopa (Jul 28, 2011)

I'm sorry if I should technically not be posting in this thread but I would like to say a few things. 

I think the idea that the site has more and more posts by immature kids is true, but could be seen as a generalization. I have seen many threads (mostly in the sub "frustration") where young teens complain irrationally about problems in their lives. 

I think these people need to inquire more about their predicament and learn from others who have already gone through similar experiences. People need to ask more questions and avoid ending up in a "there's nothing left for me" mindset. 

My motive to find a forum for SAD was to find people I could not only relate to, but draw from their past experiences and opinions. 

I do not feel offended by this post, but I do wish you would have some patience for the kids. We are going through a challenging time in our lives with little to no help.


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## LadyDarkness (Jun 5, 2011)

lastresort said:


> A good chunk of the frustration and coping forums are posts by insecure teenagers. It's depressing sometimes because it's a reminder of my own age and inadequacies-
> 
> i visit a site where i find that i have a bunch of stuff in common (emotionally) with a bunch of young, insecure kids- prettty sad.


That's kind of how I feel.


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## meco1999 (May 28, 2011)

Yes, when I first came here a few months ago I was surprised with how the vast majority of posters seemed to be teens/early 20s, and I was also surprised with the amount of fighting, insulting, belittling, etc. (not the 30+ forum, the other forums).

I am getting to the point where I don't like any Internet forums at all. I've posted on dozens of forums over the past 15 years, and I've never found a forum that didn't have plenty of insulting and general smartass-type behavior, even on forums frequented mostly by 40+ year old adults. Sometimes on other forums I will just make a post in a thread and never come back to see responses because I don't want to deal with the possibility of an insult/attack/snarky response.


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## lastresort (Jun 16, 2010)

damn hooligans :b


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I don't know how we can be too old for this site. Your basic personality really doesn't change very much after a certain age. I've always felt shy and have had problems since kindergarten. Although, I have relaxed a bit with age I still get nervous easily in certain situations and am socially inept. I'm kind of curious where all the old, shy people are. I guess most get married and just rely on their spouse heavily. My dad is not shy per se but he is terribly socially awkward. He doesn't have any friends really and married the first woman he met after my mom died. 

I don't really relate to all the threads about high school and virginity. Maybe cause I stopped going to school basically at age 13. So I never really compared myself to other kids much at all. I was in my own little world with books until city college at 18.


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## Kiwong (Aug 6, 2010)

I like masters athletics forums. Really positive. I have a positive outlook on my life despite my anxiety, and sometimes I find that I don't in with the despair whon by some posters on anxiety forums


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## lynnb (May 10, 2011)

RiversEdge said:


> Age is only a cage


Very true!


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## Deadguy (Aug 19, 2011)

> Yes, when I first came here a few months ago I was surprised with how the vast majority of posters seemed to be teens/early 20s, and I was also surprised with the amount of fighting, insulting, belittling, etc. (not the 30+ forum, the other forums).


I haven't visited many of the other forums here, but it's disappointing if that is in fact going on in what is supposed to be a site designed for support. However, when a site gets a lot of traffic and a great number of these individuals are very unhappy with their lives, there is bound to be some infighting.

I'm sure this forum would be no different if there were more participants. Anonymity seems to bring out the inner brat in a lot of people.



> I am getting to the point where I don't like any Internet forums at all. I've posted on dozens of forums over the past 15 years, and I've never found a forum that didn't have plenty of insulting and general smartass-type behavior, even on forums frequented mostly by 40+ year old adults. Sometimes on other forums I will just make a post in a thread and never come back to see responses because I don't want to deal with the possibility of an insult/attack/snarky response


I can't say my experiences have been all that different. I remember posting on newsgroups and Prodigy in the late 80s/early 90s as a pre-teen and remember getting attacked quite a bit. Chances are, if you start a thread or make a post, people are only going to respond to point out a mistake or make a sarcastic remark. Sometimes it helps to turn off the computer and take a break if you are not getting anything positive out of posting on internet forums.

Nowadays, I usually stick to sports forums to get information or advice for fantasy teams. I find lurking to be a lot better than participating.

What really drives me nuts are Newspaper sites where people can comment on the articles. It's amazing how a rather harmless article can elicit so much hate and racism. It's no wonder some of these sites have disabled the comment option on certain articles.


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## gomenne (Oct 3, 2009)

This site is filled with <20
Which makes me feel so old :/


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## crimsoncora (Mar 29, 2011)

I actually learned alot from older posters on here writing about thier regrets and how they wish they could have not wasted thier life, it helped put my life in perspective by not wanting to be 30+ and unhappy I am getting over my SA thanks to this site and seeing exactly how I do not want to be. So if anything it is a learning experience to us youngins you complain about. Thank you.


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## obsidianavenger (Sep 1, 2011)

i think emotionally stunted individuals are a part of most forums of decent size completely aside from age. add to that that this forum is centered around a disorder that is associated with a lot of depression and unhappiness, and its not surprising that there is a lot of drama. i just try to ignore anything that is obviously bullsh*t.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

crimsoncora said:


> I actually learned alot from older posters on here writing about thier regrets and how they wish they could have not wasted thier life, it helped put my life in perspective by not wanting to be 30+ and unhappy I am getting over my SA thanks to this site and seeing exactly how I do not want to be. So if anything it is a learning experience to us youngins you complain about. Thank you.


Is that a subtle dig?


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## cher35 (Sep 18, 2011)

I'm 35 and I understand what you're saying, but there are some of us here who are in the same position.


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## ndh505 (Jul 10, 2011)

crimsoncora said:


> I actually learned alot from older posters on here writing about thier regrets and how they wish they could have not wasted thier life, it helped put my life in perspective by not wanting to be 30+ and unhappy I am getting over my SA thanks to this site and seeing exactly how I do not want to be. So if anything it is a learning experience to us youngins you complain about. Thank you.


 I agree. I'm learning a lot. Just as teenagers can appear immature and insecure to old members, old members can appear obsolete and pitiable to teenagers. It's perfectly natural. Of course, teenagers benefit more, relatively speaking, because they are seeing possible futures they want to avoid, whereas old members are seeing shameful pasts they want to hide.


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

crimsoncora said:


> I actually learned alot from older posters on here writing about thier regrets and how they wish they could have not wasted thier life, it helped put my life in perspective by not wanting to be 30+ and unhappy I am getting over my SA thanks to this site and seeing exactly how I do not want to be. So if anything it is a learning experience to us youngins you complain about. Thank you.


Well, that's at least one benefit to us relatively older folks (uggh) being on this site. I wish I could go back in time and slap my younger self silly, so if anyone who is young now is taking the tales of our wasted years to heart and using it to improve their own lives, that's great. Maybe someone could do a "Scared Straight"-type program where younger people who are heading down the path of social malfunction, self hatred and depression follow us in our daily lives and witness the degraded state they could be at a few years down the road if they don't wise up. It could be called "Scared Happy".


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## Randall (Apr 8, 2006)

Yeah, definately too old. I come here to stalk GermanHermit every year or so.


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## Matomi (Sep 4, 2011)

Your age doesn't really matter, as you're here for more or less the same reason as everyone else. However, some of the Threads are rather immature 'ish' in my opinion and this is coming from someone <20.


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## 235377 (Oct 2, 2011)

I am in my thirties, but I have been told recently by a 19 year old on here that I am immature. I am not immature. I just came right out and said what was on my mind. A lot of these young adults do not look to their parents for guidance; any thoughts?


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

235377 said:


> A lot of these young adults do not look to their parents for guidance; any thoughts?


In their defense...Just because someone is a parent doesn't automatically make them the best decision maker. They might have parents who are irresponsible, so they have to turn elsewhere.

About the thread topic...yeah this forum has mostly younger people, but I can still relate with them even though I'm older. Ive been there(for the most part) so I understand what they're going through. If I havent been through what they're going through, I can imagine what it would be like and offer my best advice...and sometimes its not about giving advice. Its about letting the other person know that you're listening and offering support.


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## humourless (Sep 27, 2011)

wootmehver said:


> Maturity is overblown. It's a word that you use to control others.
> 
> The older you get the more you feel like you have to drag "Maturity Mountain" around wherever you go and "act your age" and don't have too much fun, don't act childish (unless you are around kids which grants you a special dispensation to act goofy), when the fact is that getting in touch with your inner child is the essence of creativity. We all need to dump the cultural garbage we accumulate over the years and see the world with fresh eyes.


can't let this one pass without adding my support.
Spot on!
Come on oldies...don't forget to laugh at yourself and the absurdity of taking life too seriously!


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## humourless (Sep 27, 2011)

Matomi said:


> Your age doesn't really matter, as you're here for more or less the same reason as everyone else. However, some of the Threads are rather immature 'ish' in my opinion and this is coming from someone <20.


I'm 53 and still immature maybe because I never had children......but I have to agree that some of the threads are......cringeworthy!.........boring.....predictable..........self-pitying.........and recyclable......you know these guys don't really want to "recover " from SA...they just want to procrastinate on forums like this ...so they don't have to face the reality of growing up....hang on ......I can't preach too much because I still sound like them a bit......(a lot?)


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## pianist (Oct 5, 2011)

when I was young I thought I knew everything. So thinking back when I was young I probably would have posted here thinking i was far more mature beyond my years. but to each his own, some people mature early but nothing beats life experience which I know I need allot more of.


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## Nothingness (Oct 26, 2011)

I think alot of the kids on here are more or less just bored. Too old? Naw! They are too young to have experienced *hell* like we have!


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## jamesd (Feb 17, 2011)

Nothingness said:


> I think alot of the kids on here are more or less just bored. Too old? Naw! They are too young to have experienced *hell* like we have!


This is pretty condescending.


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## thenyteowl (Oct 26, 2011)

LynnNBoys said:


> I did notice that most members seem to be in the under 25 group. I think the things you mentioned just come with the territory (of being young and lacking life experience).
> 
> I guess I just skip over the threads which seem to have too much drama or fighting. Maybe it's because I'm relatively new here. I figured it would be similar to my real life, find a couple people I have things in common with and exchange ideas and experiences with them. Maybe learn a few things about myself along the way, maybe help someone learn about him/herself.
> 
> But yes, it can be annoying to see a thread containing the equivalent of "I know you are, but what am I?" childish fight.



This is the stance I take. I come here and get the support I need. A few of us are going through the step by step CBT tapes and are encouraging each other. I will also give advice if I can on some threads.

I simply skip over the threads and posts that don't apply.


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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

pianist said:


> when I was young I thought I knew everything. So thinking back when I was young I probably would have posted here thinking i was far more mature beyond my years. but to each his own, some people mature early but nothing beats life experience which I know I need allot more of.


You are still young as am I and anyone else in their early 30's.


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## dutchguy (Jun 8, 2009)

Hideko said:


> This is one of the better threads I've read thru and almost everything really makes sense and I agree with so much with the age/experience opinions. Seems as though us 'older' people tend to want to solve our problems a bit more and want to use this site for that while too many of the younger crowd just use this for a social site and also for too much venting, everything is a crisis when you're 18,:no just gets so tiring reading thru those threads. Think we need to use this section more,:idea doesn't get enough action here, instead of using other sections we should use this one first for our problems or to hopefully help the next person out.


Social problems, social isolations hurts at every age. I agree that at 18 people make small things huge at that moment. But at that moment they are feeling as huge problems. Until you get older you realize that. But I do think you have to take them serious. If the problems I had at the age of 18 were fixed I wouldn't be here on SAS now..


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## march_hare (Jan 18, 2006)

Sometimes I feel that I'm too old haha! 
It makes me sad to see youngsters on here already so defeated. I was like that when I was a teen too, but I already feel like an old fogey, envying their youth!!


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## pianist (Oct 5, 2011)

falling down said:


> You are still young as am I and anyone else in their early 30's.


I agree, yet its all perspective. I know people in there 40s that act like there 17 still hehe.


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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

pianist said:


> I agree, yet its all perspective. I know people in there 40s that act like there 17 still hehe.


That'll probably be me in 10 years.


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## pjb77 (Sep 28, 2010)

Yes, too old. Or I actually have SA instead of a teenager being bored and killing time, lol. I guess I don't know what the youngins are going through with there disappointment in Drake and wondering if they should break up with their BF because he can't spell while texting.


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## afraid2goinpublic (Nov 8, 2011)

*Kinda agree*

:yes* I do kinda of agree, but I came into this website knowing I would have to take everything with a grain of salt...... I have yet to find an actual supporting group on the WWW, just not many out there that dont turn into a "*****fest" type of site....... but hey I am here and I love it when people add me to their frends list, I also linked my Yahoo in and the Y shows up under my name , so feel free to im me or send me a private message,maybe we can exchange sypmtoms , OH I am Jenna by the way................*



Jeff said:


> Hopefully I don't offend anyone, but does anyone else feel like the majority of members on SAS are immature "kids"? I'm 37 and I feel more and more disconnected to this website. It just seems like most of the threads (outside of this subforum) are written by insecure, immature people who probably have more problems with confidence and self esteem than they do with actual social anxiety disorder. It seems like rather than constructive, well-thought out threads, I see a lot of threads and infighting about trivial things. I don't know, maybe I'm just getting old, but I just wish this site felt more constructive and supportive as a whole.
> 
> EDIT: I think some people have missed my point a bit, which I tried to clarify in a subsequent reply below.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Nope, there are quite a few of us. We're just quite.


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## tabbycat (Oct 24, 2010)

*Over 40 and looking to talk to others about SA*

Hi I am over 40 (not sure if that's good or bad, lol....it's relative I guess), but anyway, I am looking for others to talk to about my social anxieties and everyday issues in general.


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## Anachiel (Oct 21, 2007)

Yes the majority are teens well into their twenties because this is the time in someone's life where SA affects u the most n is the hardest to deal with in my perspective.

No I don't think you are never too old, no matter what your age, everyone is human, everyone has feelings, I'm in my 40's, so what big deal!

I don't believe your used by date is over until death.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

falling down said:


> You are still young as am I and anyone else in their early 30's.


Man, now I really feel old. No, wait...ancient.



pianist said:


> I agree, yet its all perspective. I know people in there 40s that act like there 17 still hehe.


That would probably be me, lol.

It's really hard for me to relate to some of the posts on here from the younger crowd. But I guess the same could be said from them, about some of my posts. The "stuff" that's complicating my life and putting me through hell right now...like divorce, being a father-figure and role-model to my kids, finding a job, trying to get a career going at 41, all with SAD...it's well, like speaking greek sometimes to them.

This is the best place I've found on the internet though. There are some pretty bad sites out there.


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## baku (Dec 9, 2011)

I notice the age difference more in the chat rooms. It surprised me that there are so many teen-agers and young adults (early to mid 20s) on this site. For some reason, I thought that there would be more folks in their 30s+. People in their 20s (and I am generalizing here) are in a state of flux.

I can't add much value to a chat when the majority of the participants are in college. For starters, I can't even understand the abbreviations other than the most basic. Second, I prefer to have only one conversation at a time. Third, people in their 20s consider me old and outdated, not wise.

So I don't disagree with the original poster. Jeff, thank you for pointing it out.



Jeff said:


> Hopefully I don't offend anyone, but does anyone else feel like the majority of members on SAS are immature "kids"? I'm 37 and I feel more and more disconnected to this website. It just seems like most of the threads (outside of this subforum) are written by insecure, immature people who probably have more problems with confidence and self esteem than they do with actual social anxiety disorder. It seems like rather than constructive, well-thought out threads, I see a lot of threads and infighting about trivial things. I don't know, maybe I'm just getting old, but I just wish this site felt more constructive and supportive as a whole.
> 
> EDIT: I think some people have missed my point a bit, which I tried to clarify in a subsequent reply below.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

Maybe a little.


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## inconversable (Aug 13, 2011)

When i was young i was the same geeky scared dot on the wall that I am now. Course I thought it was just me, that I was a geeky scared dot on the wall not that I had self esteem issues and other ssa/sad traits. Would have loved to have a place to discuss what was going on from my young person perspective. They didn't even have add when i was an add kid.... a place to center.... ohmmm.... not saying this site is the endall of putzdom but it does put spaziness in perspective. and I was thinking how I wish there was a site where I didn't have to filter through all those 30 and 40 year olds petty stuff.

Normally m just as afraid-hesitant of communicating online as in person....even when I really want to....I spend alt of time in fantasied relationships. i waana break out ..its like right on the tip of my tongue...but i always look at the floor and wiggle my feet, almost feel dizzie and take the first person or thing -job-car-house that comes along. the first person to show me any attention

but anyway not sure where all this came from


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## Nothereanymore (Dec 20, 2011)

I was thinking this forum seems young too...and to me, MOST teenagers and young adults feel awkward and like they don't fit quite in.... I am not sure how many teenagers really have a clinical case of social anxiety or how much of it is just natural "growing pains".... I would think those of us in the 30's who still deal with social anxiety are more of the ones that its something ingrained rather than just a passing phase...but of course not to play down the struggles the teens and young adults go through.


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## meandmyshadow (Mar 15, 2009)

*yes, ive been away for over 2 years. my age was a liability here and i was sooooooo hurt and so frustrated. sadly my anxiety is still here. i tried a therapist and i hated it. i didnt mind the fact i could vent and she would listen. but i felt timed (it is timed) and then pressured. i hated it hated it. sigh. if anyone here needs an ear or can lend one please let me know we all need support !! hugs. anne*


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## camtrol (Sep 29, 2010)

Hi Anne,
To first answer the immediate question of are we too old to be here I would have to say no. We have to be more questioning in the friendships we make and the amount of information we give out but this is a site for anxiety not simply for teenage anxiety. I trust that I am older than you anyway since this is for 30 plus and I am on the downward fall towards 50 but I wanted to answer you. If you hated your therapy it could simply have been the therapist and the surroundings they worked in that got on your nerves so much. I haven't spent much time with a psychologist myself, I can't afford it at any cost these days, but I do see my psychiatrist on a regular basis and I follow his advice and take the meds he prescribes because I'm sick of being sick. Maybe you can find a different therapist with a different feeling environment that you would be happy, or maybe happier at least, with.
Don't give up hope, this is only part of a much larger picture for me and I still have hope of getting a real life back some day. My main problem is bipolar disorder but with the social anxiety packed in with it my life hasn't been my own for a lot of years. I still persevere and you should too. 
Don't give up, as the song says. Please don't give up.


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## couter68 (Oct 28, 2011)

stephh said:


> This is part of my main complaint about the forum, which I started posting at about a week ago.
> 
> - Many members don't actually have SA, which is the name of the forum .. or are mistakenly self-diagnosed (by confusing regular situational anxiety like public speaking with SAD)
> 
> ...


 hi, i liked reading your post.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Not really. You can have anxiety at any age.


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## CuddlesTheKitten (Dec 31, 2011)

*Ages*



Jeff said:


> Hopefully I don't offend anyone, but does anyone else feel like the majority of members on SAS are immature "kids"? I'm 37 and I feel more and more disconnected to this website. It just seems like most of the threads (outside of this subforum) are written by insecure, immature people who probably have more problems with confidence and self esteem than they do with actual social anxiety disorder. It seems like rather than constructive, well-thought out threads, I see a lot of threads and infighting about trivial things. I don't know, maybe I'm just getting old, but I just wish this site felt more constructive and supportive as a whole.


 No, you're not the only one whose noticed that the board's demographic skews young.

I was a little surprised to see that; I thought more adults would be here.

I found one of the forums by goggling for some search term or another, I joined the forum. I notice most of the people in that forum seem to be teen agers.

I am between the ages of 35 - 45. 

I had social anxiety as a teen. I'm now largely cured of it.

My big eye opening moment, how I became cured of it? Realizing the SAD (and clinical depression) were symptoms of codependency.

Once I realize I was codependent and began reading material about it and how to get rid of it, the SAD and depression mostly went away.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

yes. I feel I am definitely too old to be here.


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## CuddlesTheKitten (Dec 31, 2011)

*Correction of typeos*

Sorry about all the typeos in my post above. I don't see a way of editing my post to correct them.

When I said above, "I had social anxiety as a teen. I'm now largely cured of it."

-I meant I had S.A.D (Social Anxiety Disorder) as a kid, teen, *AND* as an adult (until about two or three years ago), not just as a teen.

Also "whose" above should read "who's"


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## humourless (Sep 27, 2011)

CuddlesTheKitten said:


> *I am between the ages of 35 - 45.*
> 
> QUOTE]
> 
> So I guess you must be 40?


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## Huk phin (Oct 30, 2011)

OP - I wonder the same thing. Finding this site was a real blessing but I question whether my experience can be helpful to the average reader of this board and vice-versa. Is there another board for people with SAD?


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## just smile n wave (Jan 3, 2012)

demureCat said:


> Tru dat!!!
> 
> I still ride the back of my grocery cart when leaving the store.


 Wow...I just joined the site...and I was sure glad to read this  ...I ride my cart too!!! Although, I can be demure and mature when needed..but I'd sooner slide on the ice, jump in the puddle, kick a tire, and jump on the bed....mostly when no one is looking ..... ohhh and dance like a crazy chick under an open sky (and I'm not a hippy!!!) hahahah~!
joined the site looking to see if others live in their heads too much  I'm not even sure how to post..or where to...


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## itisgoingtobefine (May 15, 2011)

235377 said:


> I am in my thirties, but I have been told recently by a 19 year old on here that I am immature. I am not immature. I just came right out and said what was on my mind. A lot of these young adults do not look to their parents for guidance; any thoughts?


That reminds me of my ex. She was 19 I was 28. She passed it onto me that her boss said, that I'm immature for a 28 year old. And I never even met the guy!


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## kittyblu (Oct 26, 2010)

It's a known fact that teens are over medicated these days. So there will be a lot of them on here.

My era - we where weird and just didn't belong any where and we are less likely to seek help because we where conditioned to believe how we feel is normal and everyone does dislike us


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