# Girls with annoying profiles.



## TPower

Sometimes, I just read their profile on any dating site, and they make me quite angry. It can be stuff like ;

DON'T WRITE TO ME IF YOU'RE UNDER SIX FEET TALL
DON'T TALK TO ME IF YOU'RE UGLY

It goes on and on, other stuff like you must have a career, you must do this, or have that, etc. OR YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.

I mean, what the hell is wrong with those women?

Even if I fitted all the said girl's "requirements" on her profile, I would still not be interested in getting to know her.


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## ThatKidTotallyRocks

Good grief, that's just mean...


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## NoIce

Just saves you the effort of finding all this out after you message them. 
They're doing you a favor


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## ForeverStallone

http://www.pof.com/member27392893.htm

You'll love this one then

She writes "don't judge a book by its cover" then proceeds to list uncontrollable physical traits as turn offs eg men under certain height, balding men.

On top of that she can't cook but expects you to pay for dinner.

Honest but hypocritical


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## TPower

ForeverStallone said:


> http://www.pof.com/member27392893.htm
> 
> You'll love this one then
> 
> She writes "don't judge a book by its cover" then proceeds to list uncontrollable physical traits as turn offs eg men under certain height, balding men.
> 
> On top of that she can't cook but expects you to pay for dinner.
> 
> Honest but hypocritical


I'm speechless.

But that was funny.


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## Ambivert

TPower said:


> Sometimes, I just read their profile on any dating site, and they make me quite angry. It can be stuff like ;
> *
> DON'T WRITE TO ME IF YOU'RE UNDER SIX FEET TALL
> DON'T TALK TO ME IF YOU'RE UGLY*
> 
> It goes on and on, other stuff like you must have a career, you must do this, or have that, etc. OR YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.
> 
> I mean, what the hell is wrong with those women?
> 
> Even if I fitted all the said girl's "requirements" on her profile, I would still not be interested in getting to know her.


They don't realize they're painting a big red flag on themselves with these ridiculous requirements. Just reading this means she isn't friendly or approachable with such mean spirited demands. Even a handsome guy taller than six feet will avoid them haha!


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## EagerMinnow84

ForeverStallone said:


> http://www.pof.com/member27392893.htm
> 
> You'll love this one then
> 
> She writes "don't judge a book by its cover" then proceeds to list uncontrollable physical traits as turn offs eg men under certain height, balding men.
> 
> On top of that she can't cook but expects you to pay for dinner.
> 
> Honest but hypocritical


:teeth

It says "Am I high manintenance? - Define high manintenance" If someone starts off answering that question that way, that means she is very high maintenance.

"you opening the car door for me" Someone expecting a car door to be opened for you is a bit... strange. It is just a car door, are your arms broken? Open it yourself!


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## WheresMyPhone

My favorite one is "No creeps."


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## komorikun

Some guys put stuff like: "no drama queens" or even better "no femi-nazis". uke


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## artandis

Whatever, I think it's fair. I wouldn't write anything like that, but if those girls have requirements like that I think it's great that they just lay it on the table like that.


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## TPower

artandis said:


> Whatever, I think it's fair. I wouldn't write anything like that, but if those girls have requirements like that I think it's great that they just lay it on the table like that.


Couldn't they just ignore messages from guys they aren't interested in, instead?

By doing this, they make themselves look like some stuck-up b*tches. And dare I say, worth being despised.

You aren't ordering a pizza for god's sake, you're on a website, possibly trying to find love. How many people on this earth have found their own definition of perfection in their lives? Less than 1% I'd say?

The only reason why this **** happens is because of the way too high level of attention women get on dating sites. Those same women end up thinking they're worth that prince charming.


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## artandis

TPower said:


> Couldn't they just ignore messages from guys they aren't interested in, instead?
> 
> By doing this, they make themselves look like some stuck-up b*tches. And dare I say, worth being despised.
> 
> You aren't ordering a pizza for god's sake, you're on a website, possibly trying to find love. How many people on this earth have found their own definition of perfection in their lives? Less than 1% I'd say?
> 
> The only reason why this **** happens is because of the way too high level of attention women get on dating sites. Those same women end up thinking they're worth that prince charming.


But this way you don't have to waste time writing a message on a girl who you wouldn't want to be with anyways. And it seems that those girls really don't care if you think they are stuck up *****es or worth being despised.

Everyone has standards (albeit, some are higher than others). Those girls are just being practical and upfront. It's not the way I would go about it, or want to present myself, but it's their choice.

And if it bothers you so much, just leave their profile and look elsewhere.


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## nemesis1

Dating sites are full of women like that. Get a bunch of messages and suddenly think that they are gods gift to men. 

And whats sad is that even though that girl comes across as a total stuck up b***h in her profile, she will still get heaps of messages.


*edit* - just saw another profile on there were the girl is posing in her underwear in her profile pics, and also has a pic of her child in her profile too. And she wrote "IM SICK OF WEIRDO'S AND CREEPS MESSAGING ME!"

Seriously, wtf is wrong with these people.


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## Ashley1990

:agreethats sound really vague..how insensible girls were they..m shocked too..


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## Hybrid0fSouls

TPower said:


> Sometimes, I just read their profile on any dating site, and they make me quite angry. It can be stuff like ;
> 
> DON'T WRITE TO ME IF YOU'RE UNDER SIX FEET TALL
> DON'T TALK TO ME IF YOU'RE UGLY
> 
> It goes on and on, other stuff like you must have a career, you must do this, or have that, etc. OR YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.
> 
> I mean, what the hell is wrong with those women?
> 
> Even if I fitted all the said girl's "requirements" on her profile, I would still not be interested in getting to know her.


That's when you create a profile, take a screenshot of one of those girls' profiles and put it on yours saying, "If your profile looks similar to this, please go away."


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## Amocholes

Sound like they think that they know what they want in a guy. 

I don't see it any different than guys looking for profiles with large cleavage or blond hair. Its just a matter of preference and they seem to know what they like.


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## Atticus

Amocholes said:


> Sound like they think that they know what they want in a guy.
> 
> I don't see it any different than guys looking for profiles with large cleavage or blond hair. Its just a matter of preference and they seem to know what they like.


I agree in one sense. If a man or woman is likely to get a lot of first contacts from others and he or she relies on that to meet people, then having a screening list makes sense. It's a way, essentially, to choose who contacts you.

The difference is that a person who initiates contact keeps his or her criteria *private* and those who aren't contacted never know why, or even whether they were considered and rejected. Reading a list of 5 or 10 requirements and not meeting several tells the reader in possibly painful and understandably "annoying" terms that he or she is being rejected, and why.

This is a case where both "sides" are right. Having a list can be efficient for the list maker and the folks reading the list, and that's a benefit. It can also sting a bit or annoy even someone with decent self esteem to see in print that he or she doesn't have the right qualities for someone else, especially since these "lists" often have items in common.


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## Lisa

Hybrid0fSouls said:


> That's when you create a profile, *take a screenshot *of one of those girls' profiles and put it on yours saying, *"If your profile looks similar to this, please go away."*


:lol


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## rdrr

i feel there is a double standard with this, as if a guy would to make a 'list' it is universally derided, but despite a woman making a 'list' being derided it does not change the amount of attention they receive. i suppose this all ties into how much someone believes they are worth. unfortunately the female is more desired online than the male. they have the power, online, and can choose to use it as the please.


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## rdrr

Trochodendraceae said:


> The attractive female has many choices because tons of men want her, because men only care about attractive women. You stated yourself, that while her profile text is sub par and the lists are ridiculed, men will still not care because they only care about looks. Attractive people, male or female, have the "power" and can make all the demands they want, because they get so many choices. Nothing wrong with that.


The thing is attractiveness is subjective, which makes it difficult to say what is a norm or not. Sometimes there are people who are just universally attractive to most, if not all, looks wise. I guess the issue here is everyone wants the best despite there being clear "levels" or leagues. I guess it all ties into how much you feel you are worth and the confidence you portray. It's quite hard to do that in paragraphs and pictures. I guess those who can will get the most attention.


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## determination

Trochodendraceae said:


> I bet you only read the pretty girls profiles right? Well they want someone equally as attractive. So let them be attracted to what they like.


Its funny that girl with the crazy standards isn't even goodlooking I swear most of the photos of girls ive seen on this site are better looking than her


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## rdrr

Trochodendraceae said:


> Attractiveness isn't subjective. It's basically down to the mathematical proportions and symmetry of the face. People can then have subjective reactions based on their previous experiences.
> I think a big issue in this world we live in, is that people, mostly men, all want HB10's, and wont even consider dating less attractive females. Even if they themselves are a 4, they only consider 8-10's dateable.


You know there are females that think the same way also? Everyone is looking for someone "cute, or hot" but everyone has a different view on what this actually means to them. I had to google what HB10 is, but now I understand where your POV is coming from.


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## rdrr

Trochodendraceae said:


> I said "people", which includes women. The HB10 is a term that is used in the pick-up community. I have read a bit about pickup stuff, but I wouldn't say my point of view is influenced much by that.


Alright, lets agree some people are hot and some people are just not, to some.


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## IcedOver

It is annoying. One girl I came across on Plenty of Fish, who wasn't even good looking, had a headline that said "Don't waste my time". Then she launched into a bevy of demands and requirements. If someone is hostile to the process of online dating, why even do it?

Almost as annoying are the cookie cutter profiles that only present positive stuff.


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## low

ForeverStallone said:


> http://www.pof.com/member27392893.htm
> 
> You'll love this one then
> 
> She writes "don't judge a book by its cover" then proceeds to list uncontrollable physical traits as turn offs eg men under certain height, balding men.
> 
> On top of that she can't cook but expects you to pay for dinner.
> 
> Honest but hypocritical


She seems horrible tbh. Very stuck up.


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## JFmtl

It's always frustrating when you see someone listing requirements and when you don't match them, especially when it's about stuff you have no control over (ie height). But, we are all free to date, or not date whoever we want. The worse that can happen to someone with too high level of requirements is that they will end up alone if no one that match those requirements are interested. 

But i think it's useless to get mad at those people and their requirements. We can say their requirements are ridicoulous or unfair, but no one can for them to lower their requirements if they don't want to. In a way, like other said, by listing them openly, they saved you the time you may have spent writing them a message. Just move on, they wont be interested, and likely aren't worth it either.


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## TPower

We all have requirements for a potential date. But as I can speak for myself, not all of them are set in stone.

I used to say I wouldn't date a girl who smokes. Well, I actually did.

You have to accept that 99.99% of people will never date a person that answers all their "requirements", and you are most likely included in the lot.


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## JFmtl

For most people, i think, and including myself, not all requirements are 100% set in stone. It's a matter of common sense, there are things we can make compromises about.

But for those girls with their huge near-ridicoulous lists, i guess the requirements they write are set in stones. It is their full right and prerogative to do so, it's not up to others to tell them who they should date. But these girls aren't worth getting angry over, and probably would not really be a compatible mates anyway. Personally, i would not want to be with a girl like on the POF profile that was brought up earlier in the thread.


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## itisgoingtobefine

This is in part why I gave up on dating sites!


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## _AJ_

the poor girls who make those are so angry, they just need a big hug


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## jsgt

Well, look at it this way. It's a good way to weed out the princesses.


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## luceo

jsgt said:


> Well, look at it this way. It's a good way to weed out the princesses.


Exactly, you save yourself time and effort. Seems like a win to me. Sure as hell isn't anything to get angry about.


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## F1X3R

If she has reason to have such high standards, she shouldn't need or want to use a dating site. 

Being so specific about height is plainly superficial. Most people don't know what they really want until they find the person anyway.


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## BobtheBest

Trochodendraceae said:


> Try making a profile of an attractive female, and see the messages it gets. You'll understand.


I've always wondered what would it be like to be an attractive female on a dating site. I was so curious that I've actually gone through and done it months ago, LMAO.

And I'll be damned. You are right. Which is why I've thrown in the towel on online dating, it seems very unfair. Girls get flooded with messages and they have to choose. I hate being at the mercy of anyone.


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## VanDamMan

People have a right to be superficial. But do they offer an equal amount benefits for their superficiality? The ones that are most annoying are the ones demanding traits they can't possibly live up to themselves.


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## F1X3R

I


> t is superficial that a woman prefers taller men?
> 
> I believe these things are called "preferences" and we all have them. I know some of us aren't as "picky" as attractive women on dating sites are, but I do not think that there is any reason or right to be upset that these women put their preferences in their dating profile. Yes, some come off as ruder than others, but still, it's preference and you can't blame someone for liking a particular type of person over another type.
> 
> You all take this online dating thing way too personally.
> 
> Also, people may end up with someone different than what they normally would "prefer" or find themselves attracted to, but that doesn't mean that they don't have the right to put their preferences in their profile. What makes you any different with your profile? Are you not allowed to say you like shorter girls with glasses (if you do)??


It's a superficial preference. A spade is a spade, and that's all I said.

superficial:

a : concerned only with the obvious or apparent : shallow
b : seen on the surface : external
c : presenting only an appearance without substance or significance

Examples of superficial

-A superficial analysis of the results

-They had a superficial knowledge of the topic.

-These superficial changes don't address the underlying problem.

-The storm only caused superficial damage to the building.

-Wonderbra model Eva Herzigova sued a Canadian underwear company that refused to pay her $30,000 fee because she showed up for the photo shoot with a short haircut that company didn't like. You know, it's shameful in this day and age how superficial and sexist some of these ad execs are. -Lewis Grossberger, Mediaweek, 14 Apr. 2003


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## Event Horizon

Yeah but you can also think of it as something positive. You already know out right what they want, and thus you won't waste your time. I'd actually prefer that.


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## F1X3R

> You can come up with all the research and definitions you want. That doesn't change the fact that some women prefer a taller man or some men prefer a shorter woman. You can call it superficial, complain and complain and complain about it, but it's not going to change anything.
> 
> My advice is to understand that this is the way it works with the western civilizations romantic idea of love. We get to choose our partners. We get to try a few out and decide what we do and don't like in them.
> 
> I think it is very foolish of you to attack these women and say they have annoying profiles simply because they have a preference. Are you saying that it is superficial of me to have a cheeseburger rather than a regular hamburger? Because I prefer a cheeseburger, I will let my waitress/cook know that.
> 
> You sound like you are taking it very personal that you do not meet the preferences of some women on dating sites. I am having a very hard time understanding why you don't think they are allowed to have a preference and to voice that.
> 
> Do you think that ALL women should date EVERY man that they meet, even if they aren't attracted to them at all?
> 
> I mean this in the most respectful way possible, and I don't mean to personally attack you, but grow up. People have preferences, whether or not you find that to be superficial is your own problem. Basically, and saying this in the most blunt, and respectful way possible: People have preferences, if you do not fit into that preference DEAL WITH IT.


I didn't say any this. Where are you getting that from? You are taking this much more personal than me.

Did you read the definition of superficial? It's not necessarily a negative judgment.


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## rymo

I love all these guys bashing girls' profiles...why the hell you spend so much energy thinking about them is beyond me. Guess what? Just like in real life, there are also idiots out there on dating sites. Shocking. But guess what, you don't have to worry about those people. You can go for the girls with good profiles and just stop wasting your time. This topic reeeeks of bitterness. Not entirely shocking to see on an SA forum, but seriously...Lets wake up and be positive instead of focusing on all the bad stuff.


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## TPower

OldSchoolSkater said:


> You are upset that these woman have criteria? Or that you don't fit into most of their criteria? What's wrong with knowing what type of person they are attracted to?


Lately, I've met a girl. She didn't tell me clearly, but between the lines, I've understood that she found me ugly/not in her tastes. Am I disappointed? Yes.

Do I feel bitter towards her? For asking me to be just friends, yes, for not telling me things as they were, yes. But for not finding me attractive? Not at all. It happens.

The only thing that annoys me about this, is the fact that yes, they appear stuck-up, and also that they are stupid or naive enough to believe finding a new mate is like finding a new car. By acting that way, they look anything BUT open-minded.



OldSchoolSkater said:


> I've said it hunderds of times, and I'll say it again, you all need to STOP the online dating thing and find a woman in real life.


Accept the fact that most of us have little friends, and sh*tty social lives. So the only way to actually meet women would be to randomly talk to girls on the street, which is incredibly awkward.



OldSchoolSkater said:


> Also, I wouldn't consider the requirement of "having a career/job" to be wrong. Can you elaborate why you insist these women must date unemployed men?


I didn't say they should. Having a job, and having a career are two things. I look at my dad who was thrown out of his house by his parents when he was twelve, over forty years ago, and never had the opportunity to have an education. He worked like he could, and even if he isn't a lawyer today, I admire him. Not everybody is fortunate enough to go to college, and those who do, should feel lucky.


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## Atticus

OldSchoolSkater said:


> You can come up with all the research and definitions you want. That doesn't change the fact that some women prefer a taller man or some men prefer a shorter woman. You can call it superficial, complain and complain and complain about it, but it's not going to change anything.
> 
> My advice is to understand that this is the way it works with the western civilizations romantic idea of love. We get to choose our partners. We get to try a few out and decide what we do and don't like in them.
> 
> I think it is very foolish of you to attack these women and say they have annoying profiles simply because they have a preference. *Are you saying that it is superficial of me to have a cheeseburger rather than a regular hamburger? Because I prefer a cheeseburger, I will let my waitress/cook know that. *
> 
> You sound like you are taking it very personal that you do not meet the preferences of some women on dating sites. I am having a very hard time understanding why you don't think they are allowed to have a preference and to voice that.
> 
> Do you think that ALL women should date EVERY man that they meet, even if they aren't attracted to them at all?
> 
> I mean this in the most respectful way possible, and I don't mean to personally attack you, but grow up. People have preferences, whether or not you find that to be superficial is your own problem. Basically, and saying this in the most blunt, and respectful way possible: People have preferences, if you do not fit into that preference DEAL WITH IT.


And some on line daters approach things as if he or she was ordering in a restaurant.* I'll have the 6-0 guy with a side order of ambition and musical talent, but hold the gaming*. It seems understandable to me that someone might object on principle to being reduced to a set of traits. It's kind of unpleasant, even if it's common and potentially time saving.

This thread isn't authored by someone defending the right to list preferences. It's authored by someone frustrated with this aspect of on-line dating. Beyond that, does it really surprise you that men on a site where many young men and women are struggling to meet people might be "annoyed" by a list of physical and personality traits they must possess in order to be found suitable? Especially since some traits, height in particular, are listed frequently.

As to your analogy, the hamburger doesn't feel slighted when you add cheese, and in fact I suspect all of us would supply whatever traits a potential partner wanted if it were so easy as adding an ingredient. It's not, though. We have to offer what our genetics and experience and choices have amounted to. Even if the OP or other poster's thinking is a bit self defeating, that thinking was probably boosted along by experience, this dating sight case being one.

I'm not implying that a woman is obligated to date anyone she's not interested in, or to give anyone a "chance". That idea is actually demeaning to both parties. I agree with much of the rest of what you say. Everyone is trying to find the most appealing partner they can, however they define appealing. We'd all be happier and more successful socially if we focused on the positive traits we have rather than obsessing over those we lack. If that's what you mean by "deal with it", I agree, minus the bluntness. And if it were easy to "deal with", I suspect this site would cease to exist.


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## northstar1991

That's awful I agree!


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## coeur_brise

Annoying, yes however despicable? Naahhhh.


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## millenniumman75

It's all crap.
People are afraid to be honest. It is no wonder people like this have trouble in relationships. FICKLE! :roll :lol


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## BobtheBest

Trochodendraceae said:


> Now try making a profile of an unattractive woman.
> Anyways, I myself was curious a while back and made a profile with a hot girl. While she got a lot of messages, the majority were very crude, often referring to her boobs. There was also a message asking her to "strip at a bachelor party", "I'm in town for a few days wanna hook up", "ur hot" "I wanna titty **** you" "wanna be in a triad relationship" "my wife doesnt have sex with me anymore wanna hook up" etc. Basically 98% of the messages were from guys who just wanted to ****. There were interesting guys on there, but few and far between. Online dating is risky, but there are sincere people out there, so dont give up.


I may get into that...but conducting an experiment did help me understand online dating better. My real profile of myself got a few messages in a few weeks, while that faked profile got 200+ in 2 hours! That faked profile I made received those same kinds of messages, even from guys that was over 50. It makes me see why I wasn't getting any replies on my own profile. Because girls' inboxes get flooded with mail, and I only have a one in a million shot. It's extremely difficult to stand out with so much competition.


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## itisgoingtobefine

millenniumman75 said:


> It's all crap.
> People are afraid to be honest. It is no wonder people like this have trouble in relationships. FICKLE! :roll :lol


Amen brother! Every time I read those profiles I felt like I needed a :drunk :lol


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## IcedOver

What bothers me about these profiles isn't that the women have standards for the guys they date. I myself would never date a smoker, someone who is overly religious, or a woman who has kids. Rather, it's the way they express these things that is simply classless.


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## Xtraneous

^


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## Ambient

I never considered myself short until I started dating online. I'm just shy of 5'9".

Although the way some women list these criteria can be upsetting, I actually would like to know these things in advance.

It's a lot better than being totally ignored and left wondering why.


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## BrightDays

Their stupid, those women, are really mean. So they will attract those ******* guys like themselves.


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## rymo

IcedOver:1059370565 said:


> What bothers me about these profiles isn't that the women have standards for the guys they date. I myself would never date a smoker, someone who is overly religious, or a woman who has kids. Rather, it's the way they express these things that is simply classless.


Why does that even bother you anyway? Are you expecting to find tons of classy ladies? If I see some dumb classless ladies online I just skip their profiles and move on. It doesn't bother me in the least. I mean jeez can you imagine how you and some of the other guys here would react if they got rejected in REAL life? Man up boys.


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## au Lait

Atticus said:


> The difference is that a person who initiates contact keeps his or her criteria *private* and those who aren't contacted never know why, or even whether they were considered and rejected. Reading a list of 5 or 10 requirements and not meeting several tells the reader in possibly painful and understandably "annoying" terms that he or she is being rejected, and why.


It's funny, b/c I have read posts from many men on here speaking very emphatically about wanting a "perfect 10". Then when the shoe is on the other foot suddenly they feel hurt. Maybe now they will know what it's like to for the women on this site who don't consider themselves to be a "10" or w/e (I really hate that whole rating people by numbers bs) to read things like that.

If those women didn't say that on their profile, and people who didn't meet their requirements wrote to them and they just didn't reply, then this thread would probably be about how women in the online dating scene are stuck up and rude. Sometimes it feels like we just can't win.

I think profiles like that are "annoying" to some b/c basically it is a case of coming to terms with the fact that not every woman will be available to them in the way they desire.


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## Some Russian Guy

TPower said:


> Sometimes, I just read their profile on any dating site, and they make me quite angry. It can be stuff like ;
> 
> DON'T WRITE TO ME IF YOU'RE UNDER SIX FEET TALL
> DON'T TALK TO ME IF YOU'RE UGLY
> 
> It goes on and on, other stuff like you must have a career, you must do this, or have that, etc. OR YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.
> 
> I mean, what the hell is wrong with those women?
> 
> Even if I fitted all the said girl's "requirements" on her profile, I would still not be interested in getting to know her.


well... do the same... what's stopping you ?

pay money for a quality proxy web site
like hidemyass.com
make an account on your preferred dating website
And then be like:

DON'T WRITE TO ME IF YOU DON'T HAVE TITS
DON'T TALK TO ME IF YOU'RE UGLY


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## TPower

If a girl; 

-Is in my age range (say, 16-24)
-Has a healthy weight (No, 5'4" and 180 lbs is not healthy)
-Is white (Not attracted to other ethnic backgrounds)

There are about 80% chances I'll find her attractive. Picky? Says who? The girl I was never able to get off my mind had 25 lbs on me. What gives?


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## rymo

TPower said:


> If a girl;
> 
> -Is in my age range (say, 16-24)
> -Has a healthy weight (No, 5'4" and 180 lbs is not healthy)
> -Is white (Not attracted to other ethnic backgrounds)
> 
> There are about 80% chances I'll find her attractive. Picky? Says who? The girl I was never able to get off my mind had 25 lbs on me. What gives?


You racist!!!!


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## komorikun

You know the girls in question are probably getting lots of messages from guys asking why all the rules. One time, I put up a few preferences on my profile and I kept getting annoying messages from all these guys saying, why don't you like blah blah blah? I didn't even put it in all caps or write it in a rude manner. So I took them down but my preferences are still the same.


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## humourless

If you can't find Mr Right, then settle for Mr Not Too Bad!
And vice versa of course.
Apologies to my wife who of course is Mrs Right!


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## Atticus

au Lait said:


> It's funny, b/c I have read posts from many men on here speaking very emphatically about wanting a "perfect 10". Then when the shoe is on the other foot suddenly they feel hurt. Maybe now they will know what it's like to for the women on this site who don't consider themselves to be a "10" or w/e (I really hate that whole rating people by numbers bs) to read things like that.
> 
> If those women didn't say that on their profile, and people who didn't meet their requirements wrote to them and they just didn't reply, then this thread would probably be about how women in the online dating scene are stuck up and rude. Sometimes it feels like we just can't win.
> 
> I think profiles like that are "annoying" to some b/c basically it is a case of coming to terms with the fact that not every woman will be available to them in the way they desire.


I think that you're using my post as a jumping off point (for an assertion I basically agree with) but I want to be clear that I've never made a comment even remotely like "I expect a perfect 10". I don't believe you're implying that, but I find the practice of reducing people to #s pretty reprehensible and I want no association with it. I don't do it precisely because it's potentially hurtful, besides being silly and subjective.

My point in this thread has been that reducing a man to a list of physical traits is a whole lot like reducing a woman to a number. Both hurt.


----------



## leonardess

^ I give that post a "7". 


okay I'll stop now.


----------



## VanDamMan

leonardess said:


> ^ I give that post a "7".
> 
> okay I'll stop now.


I'll give your rating of that post a 6.


----------



## leonardess

I rate your rating of my rating a "5".


----------



## Atticus

:mum:mum:mum:mum:mum:mum


----------



## leonardess

I'll see your wink and raise you a grinning testicle: :teeth


----------



## TPower

rymo said:


> You racist!!!!


I seriously hope you're kidding.


----------



## Some Russian Guy

TPower said:


> -Is white (Not attracted to other ethnic backgrounds)


----------



## TPower

I am not attracted to black, arab, mexican women (among others).

Now if that makes me a racist, it must mean I despise animals if I am not sexually attracted to them!

Nonsense.


----------



## Atticus

You just made an implied comparison between, I mean......NM


----------



## TPower

Atticus said:


> You just made an implied comparison between, I mean......NM


Can you stop crying out racism every chance you get?

It's okay for a girl to reject a guy because he's too short, too fat, but it's not alright for me NOT to be attracted to certain people because of their inherited physical traits?

Where is the difference, tell me?


----------



## rymo

You're telling me you don't think Adriana Lima is hot? And yes you did compare all those races to animals...


----------



## TPower

I know better than you do what I did. 

It was an example. Not having sexual attraction to someone has little to do with hate and everything to do with personal tastes. For instance, I've never found a black woman attractive. It's just the way it is. And no, I don't find Adriana Lima attractive.


----------



## rymo

TPower said:


> I know better than you do what I did.
> 
> It was an example. Not having sexual attraction to someone has little to do with hate and everything to do with personal tastes. For instance, I've never found a black woman attractive. It's just the way it is. And no, I don't find Adriana Lima attractive.


Wow...your brain is quite the intimidating force. Honestly, while I find preferring only one race kind of strange, I agree that it is just a preference. So what are you saying, anyway? Are you upset because girls can describe their height and weight preferences in their profiles but you can't talk about your race requirements? Somehow I don't think tons of black girls are messaging you anyway so I'm not sure how it matters. Why are you are even comparing guys and girls on those sites? Girls obviously have the upper hand, just like in real life. You can go up to one at a bar and she can give you the cold shoulder. Better that she does it before you even approach (so to speak) by listing her preferences for the world to see. Are you going to be bitter over all the non-rejections or you gonna DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT??!?!?!!?!


----------



## TPower

My message was in response to the one who said that "_Guys were all looking for perfect 10s_".

I see girls I would date (physically-speaking) all the time, I don't even have to look out for them.

And I think writing something like "races other than caucasian, don't bother" would be awfully rude.


----------



## scarpia

OldSchoolSkater said:


> Do you think that ALL women should date EVERY man that they meet, even if they aren't attracted to them at all?


 I remember hearing a story about a woman who actually did that a few years ago. She was really picky about guys so someone suggested she do that. I saw an interview with her and she ended up marrying a guy who she would not have dated otherwise.


----------



## Atticus

TPower said:


> Can you stop crying out racism every chance you get?
> 
> It's okay for a girl to reject a guy because he's too short, too fat, but it's not alright for me NOT to be attracted to certain people because of their inherited physical traits?
> 
> Where is the difference, tell me?


I have no issue with you using whatever criteria you choose in deciding who you date. I have no problem with a woman doing the same. I think the world's a better place if we don't broadcast our criteria because someone will always fail to meet it, and someone ma feel slighted..

I kind of thought that was your point. Maybe in your case au Lait is right and you just don't like someone not "liking" you. Silly me, I thought maybe there was a deeper principle involved, because that's how it works for me.

And to be clear, you didn't need to mention race. It's like an item on a list. You didn't need to strongly imply that women you don't care for physically are somehow in a category with animals. That's some really "annoying" shyt, if you ask me.


----------



## TPower

Replace animals with trees or corpses if you feel like it, the point still stands.

Even if I fit all the criteria, I still don't like it in the sense that I'm not a burger, I'm a human being. The same way I wouldn't like it if I were a millionaire and had dozens of women after me. I like simple girls who keep an open mind about everything in life. Those who would consider dating me despite a few minors flaws.

Stubborn people, whether they are men or women, I don't like them.


----------



## Harpuia

I'm siding with TPower in this one, and I'm slowly starting to see how people like me are marginalized and told how horrible we are for having ANY sort of standards at all, but if a female has standards, they are "empowered".

What a load of BS. Both sexes should either be allowed their set of standards or none at all.


----------



## rymo

Harpuia:1059375223 said:


> I'm siding with TPower in this one, and I'm slowly starting to see how people like me are marginalized and told how horrible we are for having ANY sort of standards at all, but if a female has standards, they are "empowered".
> 
> What a load of BS. Both sexes should either be allowed their set of standards or none at all.


I fail to see who is preventing you from having standards, whether it is in real life or online. I met a girl online who is now my gf...did I meet with her solely because she has a vagina? No..i pursued a first date because she met my standards (at least as much as I could gather from her profile and our messages), and apparently I met hers.


----------



## Harpuia

Maybe it's just the dating scene in Vegas, but a guy asking what he wanted in a girl was frequently shunned on in colleges. Meanwhile, it was "empowering" for a girl to ask for a guy who had $100,000 a year, was 6'0" or taller, didn't have a "boring job" and was good looking.

Nevermind that those that had such wants don't realize that represents less than 3% of the male population. (Just the $100,000 a year thing, for example, if nothing else, represents about *6%* of the total population right now.) Meanwhile, the standards I had represented something around 75-80% of the female population (not counting personality traits). That's why my girlfriend (at least I hope she's still around) is long distance. I found someone from a place where unrealistic expectations don't have to be placed on me to be loved.

So what I mean is:
- Guy's expectations meeting only 75-80% of the female population: shunned by society.
- Girl's expectations meeting less than 3% of the male population: Empowering.

EDIT: Don't get me wrong. I think it is fine for expectations to be something that is attainable, like if a girl wants a guy with a job or some ambition, that's not really a big deal. But when your expectations are to find somebody who makes six figure salaries a year during the GREAT RECESSION, really, need to change those priorities.


----------



## rymo

I guess they do...but honestly I think in general these days since more girls are going to college percentage-wise than guys and the workplace is becoming more and more equal I can't imagine it's going to be empowering for then for all that much longer. Either way, not every girl is like that and money should not be a huge hindrance in the quest to meet a girl unless you are going after supermodels or you live in a box. Sure, Mary might want to bag a rich guy but Susy could be hotter and smarter with a good job and want YOU. My point is to not harp on the money thing so much...girls like a guy who is going places but he doesn't necessarily have to be there yet, and its more about confidence anyway. It's pretty obvious that confidence is the area the SA community needs to improve upon, money may come later down the road.


----------



## Some Russian Guy

TPower said:


> I am not attracted to black, arab, mexican women (among others).
> 
> Now if that makes me a racist, it must mean I despise animals if I am not sexually attracted to them!
> 
> Nonsense.


How can you not like asian girls ?


----------



## scarpia

If it really annoys you that bad why don;t you set up a fake guy profile that suits all of their criteria and then e-mail them. Then after talking reject them for some stupid reason. Like her voice is too squeeky.


----------



## au Lait

TPower said:


> Can you stop crying out racism every chance you get?


If people accusing you of racism is a common theme in your life then you might want to look into that.



TPower said:


> It's okay for a girl to reject a guy because he's too short, too fat, but it's not alright for me NOT to be attracted to certain people because of their inherited physical traits?
> 
> Where is the difference, tell me?


The difference is racism.

I find it rich how you are so buttfurious over a woman who won't date short men, then turn right around and throw out your own standards (which happen to actually be offensive). Comparing other races to animals, trees, and dead people really drives the point home as far as how you view people who aren't white. :no


----------



## Harpuia

Some Russian Guy said:


> How can you not like asian girls ?


Girls Generation... oi.

We actually get a Korean station here as a satellite on local. MBC. They are on ALL THE TIME.


----------



## JFmtl

au Lait said:


> If people accusing you of racism is a common theme in your life then you might want to look into that.
> 
> The difference is racism.
> 
> I find it rich how you are so buttfurious over a woman who won't date short men, then turn right around and throw out your own standards (which happen to actually be offensive). Comparing other races to animals, trees, and dead people really drives the point home as far as how you view people who aren't white. :no


I dont really get the difference... Skin color and height are both purely physical features, of which no one has much control over it. If one set of preference is acceptable, so should be the other one.

For example, i'm short (5'6'') and i'm white. I never chose these features, and i can't change them. I don't get why i should be furious if a girl don't date me because i'm white, but not if a girl refuses to date me because i'm short. for me, the end result is the same; i'm rejected over physical features over which i have no control. Attraction doesn't obey the laws of politically correctness. what is next, anyone who aren't bisexual is are sexist people, because they are only attracted to one gender?

But in the end, IMO it's useless to whine about others people dating preferences/tastes/requirements. You can call people racist, shallow, stuck up, etc, you can make a long rational text on why their preferences are unfair, stupid, etc, if someone isn't attracted to some kind of people, or has specific requirements that just can't be looked upon for them, in th end, they wont date people they dont want to date.


----------



## TPower

au Lait said:


> If people accusing you of racism is a common theme in your life then you might want to look into that.
> 
> The difference is racism.
> 
> I find it rich how you are so buttfurious over a woman who won't date short men, then turn right around and throw out your own standards (which happen to actually be offensive). Comparing other races to animals, trees, and dead people really drives the point home as far as how you view people who aren't white. :no


If you prefer, I'll compare them to plain ugly girls. I feel like I'm trying to explain myself to a three-year old.

I DO NOT FIND THEM ATTRACTIVE! EVER! Where is the racism in that claim?

Skin tone plays a huge part in attraction for me. A white woman too tanned would be a turn-off to me as well. Not being attracted to black women for instance doesn't mean I hate the black race. Wake up.


----------



## Some Russian Guy

TPower said:


> If you prefer, I'll compare them to plain ugly girls. I feel like I'm trying to explain myself to a three-year old.
> 
> I DO NOT FIND THEM ATTRACTIVE! EVER! Where is the racism in that claim?
> 
> Skin tone plays a huge part in attraction for me. A white woman too tanned would be a turn-off to me as well. Not being attracted to black women for instance doesn't mean I hate the black race. Wake up.





> Scientists said yesterday that they have discovered a tiny genetic mutation that largely explains the first appearance of white skin in humans tens of thousands of years ago, a finding that helps solve one of biology's most enduring mysteries and illuminates one of humanity's greatest sources of strife.


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/15/AR2005121501728.html


----------



## iamwhatiam

Lol these cries of racism are so ridiculous. Finding a race physically unattractive to a race does not make you racist. But just when it couldn't get any more ridiculous then came the comments about he is comparing the other races to animals. Seriously did anyone actually understand what TD said? Ug this is so frustrating just reading this, feel bad for Td.


----------



## ohgodits2014

iamwhatiam said:


> Lol these cries of racism are so ridiculous. Finding a race physically unattractive to a race does not make you racist. But just when it couldn't get any more ridiculous then came the comments about he is comparing the other races to animals. Seriously did anyone actually understand what TD said? Ug this is so frustrating just reading this, feel bad for Td.


When someone can make the claim that he/she isn't attracted to people of race X, it usually means he/she hasn't been spending a lot of time with people of race X. It doesn't make this person a racist as in someone who actively hates people of race X, but it does suggest (1) a level of narrow-mindedness, (2) a tendency to judge people based on popular stereotypes, and (3) a lack of desire to get to know people for _who _they are instead of _what _they are, which _I_ find annoying.

Personally, if someone does have racial preferences when it comes to dating I'd rather he/she be honest about it from the start. I don't have the time to associate with every person I meet, so the sooner I find out which people not to invest my energy in anymore the better. What I don't get is how OP is now trying to play the victim when the opening post clearly says:



> Sometimes, I just read their profile on any dating site, and *they make me quite angry*. It can be stuff like ;
> 
> DON'T WRITE TO ME IF YOU'RE UNDER SIX FEET TALL
> DON'T TALK TO ME IF YOU'RE UGLY
> 
> It goes on and on, other stuff like you must have a career, you must do this, or have that, etc. OR YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.
> 
> I mean, *what the hell is wrong with those women?*
> 
> Even if I fitted all the said girl's "requirements" on her profile, I would still not be interested in getting to know her.


It does sound like someone is just throwing a tantrum because he doesn't fit into the requirements that most of the women he's attracted to have.

Edit: I also still want to know why guys don't ask themselves this question more often:



> What the hell is wrong with _me_?


----------



## Harpuia

rednosereindeer said:


> When someone can make the claim that he/she isn't attracted to people of race X, it usually means he/she hasn't been spending a lot of time with people of race X. It doesn't make this person a racist as in someone who actively hates people of race X, but it does suggest (1) a level of narrow-mindedness, (2) a tendency to judge people based on popular stereotypes, and (3) a lack of desire to get to know people for _who _they are instead of _what _they are, which _I_ find annoying.
> 
> Personally, if someone does have racial preferences when it comes to dating I'd rather he/she be honest about it from the start. I don't have the time to associate with every person I meet, so the sooner I find out which people not to invest my energy in anymore the better. What I don't get is how OP is now trying to play the victim when the opening post clearly says:
> 
> It does sound like someone is just throwing a tantrum because he doesn't fit into the requirements that most of the women he's attracted to have.
> 
> Edit: I also still want to know why guys don't ask themselves this question more often:


They have to ask themselves why they aren't a certain height? Or why they are not attractive to some people?

Are you serious?


----------



## Ape in space

rednosereindeer said:


> What I don't get is how OP is now trying to play the victim when the opening post clearly says:
> 
> It does sound like someone is just throwing a tantrum because he doesn't fit into the requirements that most of the women he's attracted to have.


The issue isn't with them having preferences, but with the rudeness and arrogance with which it is stated. Yes, they have the right to state it like that if they want, but it is perfectly reasonable for a guy to see it and get annoyed. After all, if you saw a guy's profile that said "DON'T TALK TO ME IF YOU DON'T HAVE BIG BOOBS", wouldn't you be disgusted? There's a way of stating preferences that doesn't make the people reading it feel like **** if they don't satisfy the criteria.



> Edit: I also still want to know why guys don't ask themselves this question more often:
> 
> Quote:
> What the hell is wrong with _me_?


That's exactly what we do when we hear something like what is on some of those girls' profiles. That's the point.


----------



## iamwhatiam

rednosereindeer said:


> When someone can make the claim that he/she isn't attracted to people of race X, it usually means he/she hasn't been spending a lot of time with people of race X. It doesn't make this person a racist as in someone who actively hates people of race X, but it does suggest (1) a level of narrow-mindedness, (2) a tendency to judge people based on popular stereotypes, and (3) a lack of desire to get to know people for _who _they are instead of _what _they are, which _I_ find annoying.
> 
> Personally, if someone does have racial preferences when it comes to dating I'd rather he/she be honest about it from the start. I don't have the time to associate with every person I meet, so the sooner I find out which people not to invest my energy in anymore the better. What I don't get is how OP is now trying to play the victim when the opening post clearly says:
> 
> It does sound like someone is just throwing a tantrum because he doesn't fit into the requirements that most of the women he's attracted to have.
> 
> Edit: I also still want to know why guys don't ask themselves this question more often:


I don't agree at all. Not being physically attracted to a race doesn't suggest narrow mindedness in the slightest, it has absolutely nothing to do with stereotypes, and has nothing to do with getting to know people. I find blue more aesthetically pleasing than purple but am not labeled racist, why couldn't I prefer black to white without being labeled racist?


----------



## au Lait

JFmtl said:


> I dont really get the difference... Skin color and height are both purely physical features, of which no one has much control over it. If one set of preference is acceptable, so should be the other one.
> 
> For example, i'm short (5'6'') and i'm white. I never chose these features, and i can't change them. I don't get why i should be furious if a girl don't date me because i'm white, but not if a girl refuses to date me because i'm short. for me, the end result is the same; i'm rejected over physical features over which i have no control. Attraction doesn't obey the laws of politically correctness. what is next, anyone who aren't bisexual is are sexist people, because they are only attracted to one gender?
> 
> But in the end, IMO it's useless to whine about others people dating preferences/tastes/requirements. You can call people racist, shallow, stuck up, etc, you can make a long rational text on why their preferences are unfair, stupid, etc, if someone isn't attracted to some kind of people, or has specific requirements that just can't be looked upon for them, in th end, they wont date people they dont want to date.


Comparing a measurable and finite physical trait like height to something like race is an inherently flawed argument.

Height is something that we can measure, and does not change between individuals of the same height. People who are all 5'10" are all 5'10" no matter how you slice it.

Conversely, people of the same race do not all share the same physical features. Implying that someone's race is the same as their height completely removes the individuality of any person associated with whichever race you are referring to.



TPower said:


> If you prefer, I'll compare them to plain ugly girls. I feel like I'm trying to explain myself to a three-year old.
> 
> I DO NOT FIND THEM ATTRACTIVE! EVER! Where is the racism in that claim?
> 
> Skin tone plays a huge part in attraction for me. A white woman too tanned would be a turn-off to me as well. Not being attracted to black women for instance doesn't mean I hate the black race. Wake up.


I think you will find that you are the one who needs to "wake up".

Where's the racism in your statement? Here, let me show you:
*
It's the part where you referred to all other races as "them".*

What are you essentially doing is stripping other races of their individuality. Like I told the other poster, there is a great deal of diversity within races. You used black people and dark skin tone as an example. Are you seriously not aware that there are black people with skin so light they can pass as white?

Basically what people who try to use the whole "race is a preference just like X physical characteristic" are saying is that people of ____ race all look the same to them. They are completely ignoring the fact that people of the same race can have very different physical features.

*Implying that people of other races are all cookie cutter in appearance, ignoring the wide variety of physical diversity within a particular race, and ignoring all the other characteristics (personality, intellect, emotional connections, etc) that make us all individuals, is racist. *Whether you can admit that to yourself or not is on you.


----------



## Sain

Different human populations were geographically separated and therefore reproductively isolated for a long period of time, resulting in genetic differences. We define these genetic differences as racial characteristics. I think these differences are often over simplified, but that does not change the fact that differences do exist between races. Forensic anthropologists can accurately identify the race of an individual by looking at the heritable morphological features of human remains, this is proof enough that human races are physically different. So it is quite possible that one could find these particular physical differences between the races as more or less attractive, and I would not consider that to be racist.


----------



## TPower

au Lait said:


> Comparing a measurable and finite physical trait like height to something like race is an inherently flawed argument.
> 
> Height is something that we can measure, and does not change between individuals of the same height. People who are all 5'10" are all 5'10" no matter how you slice it.
> 
> Conversely, people of the same race do not all share the same physical features. Implying that someone's race is the same as their height completely removes the individuality of any person associated with whichever race you are referring to. .


So? Black people all have black skin, don't they?



au Lait said:


> I think you will find that you are the one who needs to "wake up".
> 
> Where's the racism in your statement? Here, let me show you:
> 
> *It's the part where you referred to all other races as "them".*
> .


So what? How else do you want me to refer to those people, tell me? I wouldn't give a single **** about it if someone referred to white people as _them_.



au Lait said:


> What are you essentially doing is stripping other races of their individuality. Like I told the other poster, there is a great deal of diversity within races. You used black people and dark skin tone as an example. Are you seriously not aware that there are black people with skin so light they can pass as white?
> 
> Basically what people who try to use the whole "race is a preference just like X physical characteristic" are saying is that people of ____ race all look the same to them. They are completely ignoring the fact that people of the same race can have very different physical features.
> 
> *Implying that people of other races are all cookie cutter in appearance, ignoring the wide variety of physical diversity within a particular race, and ignoring all the other characteristics (personality, intellect, emotional connections, etc) that make us all individuals, is racist. *Whether you can admit that to yourself or not is on you.


Again, darker skin is not attractive to my own eyes. I find them as repulsive as ugly "white" women, so personality alone won't cut it. Is that clearer?


----------



## Harpuia

For me, it would almost not matter what their looks are, personality tends to be a bigger factor for me then most guys...


----------



## MrMongrel

TPower said:


> Sometimes, I just read their profile on any dating site, and they make me quite angry. It can be stuff like ;
> 
> DON'T WRITE TO ME IF YOU'RE UNDER SIX FEET TALL
> DON'T TALK TO ME IF YOU'RE UGLY


SHAME ON THEM FOR HAVING THEIR OWN STANDARDS! THE NERVE OF THEM! 

You have ideals as well, don't you?


----------



## TPower

Saying you like tall men is one thing. Saying you aren't going to answer guys under six feet tall is plain rude, and the kind of thing you should keep to yourself. If I wrote something like "DON'T MESSAGE ME IF YOU HAVE SMALL BREASTS" on my profile, I bet my life I would receive a lot of hateful messages telling me how shallow I am, or how much of an a**hole I sound like.

And by the way, how the hell do you know if you're ugly, especially if you're a guy? Women don't just go out of their way to tell you you're handsome like guys do to girls. Unless you have third degree burns to 80% of your body, it's safe to think whether you're attractive or not is a debatable matter.


----------



## MrMongrel

TPower said:


> Saying you like tall men is one thing. Saying you aren't going to answer guys under six feet tall is plain rude, and the kind of thing you should keep to yourself. If I wrote something like "DON'T MESSAGE ME IF YOU HAVE SMALL BREASTS" on my profile, I bet my life I would receive a lot of hateful messages telling me how shallow I am, or how much of an a**hole I sound like.
> 
> And by the way, how the hell do you know if you're ugly, especially if you're a guy? Women don't just go out of their way to tell you you're handsome like guys do to girls. Unless you have third degree burns to 80% of your body, it's safe to think whether you're attractive or not is a debatable matter.


Who cares if people complain?

You have things that you are attracted to and not attracted to.

If you want to put that up there, DOOOO EEET! :teeth

'Ugly' is relative but in a lot of cases it is more a matter of esteem.... a lot of times, if you think that you're ugly, you have low esteem/ a weak will.

Most women don't want a guy like that because it equates to 'pushover' in their minds, or someone who will constantly pedestalize them and worship them. That = boring and unsexy.​


----------



## Jessie203

Speaking as a girl who used pof... we honestly get 20 emails a day. We cant be bothered to reject each guy one by one.. so to save ourselves time from reading emails we sometimes use disclaimers so hopefully we can weed out people we dont want. Given though i did not say "YOU HAVE TO BE THIS TALL WAH WAH WAH..".. i was just asking that nobody be a partying alcoholic or be over 35... i had a lot of old dude creepers and white gangster kids. I wanted to limit the amount of idiots who emailed me. It worked.


----------



## coeur_brise

TPower said:


> Again, darker skin is not attractive to my own eyes. I find them as repulsive as ugly "white" women, so personality alone won't cut it. Is that clearer?


Just wanted to comment: people certainly have their preferences, but a lot of "dark" nationalities actually have nice skin and clear complexions. Actually, a lot of Asian women can have light skin as well. So it may not even be about skin color, just a racial preference.


----------



## au Lait

TPower said:


> So? Black people all have black skin, don't they?


Uh no...once again you are reveling your own racial stereotyping. Reread what I wrote. Some black people can be very light skinned. So light they are often mistaken as white.



TPower said:


> So what? How else do you want me to refer to those people, tell me? I wouldn't give a single **** about it if someone referred to white people as _them_.


Cool story bro.



TPower said:


> Again, darker skin is not attractive to my own eyes. I find them as repulsive as ugly "white" women, so personality alone won't cut it. Is that clearer?


You were clear the first time. You're just digging the hole deeper at this point.

Here's some clarification for you. I'm not talking about preferences in physical appearance. That's normal. Everyone has those types of preferences. It becomes racism when a person rules out a whole race of people b/c they believe that entire race all looks a certain way, or if they believe that a person is unattractive just b/c they happen to be of a certain racial background.

But I wonder, TPower....Why is it ok for you to exclude women based on their weight or the color of their skin, but when a woman excludes you b/c of your height suddenly she's "rude" and "annoying"?

I think you just proved my initial theory. It annoys you b/c you got rejected. You're mad b/c a woman you were interested in isn't attracted to your body type. She has her preferences, just as you have yours which you have so vehemently defended in this thread. Guess it's time to accept that those women are really no different from yourself.


----------



## itisgoingtobefine

The only thing better than using POF is watching it burn. mhahahahah You can tell I'm no fan. :b


----------



## Jessie203

OldSchoolSkater said:


> You can come up with all the research and definitions you want. That doesn't change the fact that some women prefer a taller man or some men prefer a shorter woman. You can call it superficial, complain and complain and complain about it, but it's not going to change anything.
> 
> My advice is to understand that this is the way it works with the western civilizations romantic idea of love. We get to choose our partners. We get to try a few out and decide what we do and don't like in them.
> 
> I think it is very foolish of you to attack these women and say they have annoying profiles simply because they have a preference. Are you saying that it is superficial of me to have a cheeseburger rather than a regular hamburger? Because I prefer a cheeseburger, I will let my waitress/cook know that.
> 
> You sound like you are taking it very personal that you do not meet the preferences of some women on dating sites. I am having a very hard time understanding why you don't think they are allowed to have a preference and to voice that.
> 
> Do you think that ALL women should date EVERY man that they meet, even if they aren't attracted to them at all?
> 
> I mean this in the most respectful way possible, and I don't mean to personally attack you, but grow up. People have preferences, whether or not you find that to be superficial is your own problem. Basically, and saying this in the most blunt, and respectful way possible: People have preferences, if you do not fit into that preference DEAL WITH IT.


ur posts are great. why is this thread still going on listen to this person. attractive women have the ability to chose. if they dont wanna date a short fat old broke guy with a teeny wiener than they wont! what is the surprise. its reality. if you have the ability to chose from kraft dinner and a gourmet meal what u gunna pick? u can have standards u will take them. life isnt fair. move on... lol


----------



## Jessie203

itisgoingtobefine said:


> The only thing better than using POF is watching it burn. mhahahahah You can tell I'm no fan. :b


ya it sucked


----------



## huh

kathy903 said:


> ur posts are great. why is this thread still going on listen to this person. attractive women have the ability to chose. if they dont wanna date a short fat old broke guy with a teeny wiener than they wont! what is the surprise. its reality. if you have the ability to chose from kraft dinner and a gourmet meal what u gunna pick? u can have standards u will take them. life isnt fair. move on... lol


That would make a nice profile ender...

"No fatties, please have loads of money, and no tiny weiners."

:teeth Classy.

I pretty much stayed clear of profiles that had lists of specific superficial/materialistic requirements. It definitely says something about the person's character. So in a way I suppose they are doing me a favor.


----------



## Jessie203

huh said:


> That would make a nice profile ender...
> 
> "No fatties, please have loads of money, and no tiny weiners."
> 
> :teeth Classy.
> 
> I pretty much stayed clear of profiles that had lists of specific superficial/materialistic requirements. It definitely says something about the person's character. So in a way I suppose they are doing me a favor.


were all superficial. i think its funny u think ur above that. if a girl was sexy and had a good personality vs. a less cute one with the same good personality what u gunna choose? ... life is too short. id rather have a good sex life with someone im attracted to than let the nice guy syndrome trick me into pity partying some loser with a tiny pecker that i have to be with bc im sympathetic and "well but hes nice"... so are hot guys who are hung though which id rather go for. Everybody knows their league. if u can do better u should at least try u will be happier. this is just logic lol dont hate


----------



## huh

kathy903 said:


> were all superficial. i think its funny u think ur above that. if a girl was sexy and had a good personality vs. a less cute one with the same good personality what u gunna choose?


I'd agree that we do all make judgments about the looks of others, even if it's an unconscious process. So I don't think I'm above it, but at the same time I try to realize it and take it into account. It's just a turn-off to me when people act obviously/overly materialistic and superficial. I'm attracted to some people more than others, but certain beliefs/personalities/character traits can completely override that regardless of how well they look on the outside.



kathy903 said:


> ... life is too short. id rather have a good sex life with someone im attracted to than let the nice guy syndrome trick me into pity partying some loser with a tiny pecker that i have to be with bc im sympathetic and "well but hes nice"... so are hot guys who are hung though which id rather go for. Everybody knows their league. if u can do better u should at least try u will be happier. this is just logic lol dont hate


Doesn't bother me...it's your decision.


----------



## TPower

sanria22 said:


> Just wanted to comment: people certainly have their preferences, but a lot of "dark" nationalities actually have nice skin and clear complexions. Actually, a lot of Asian women can have light skin as well. So it may not even be about skin color, just a racial preference.


Well, some asian girls are cute. But that pretty much sums it in that regard.


----------



## millenniumman75

FICKLE! :afr


----------



## TPower

au Lait said:


> Uh no...once again you are reveling your own racial stereotyping. Reread what I wrote. Some black people can be very light skinned. So light they are often mistaken as white.


If they were as white as me, I wouldn't consider them black, even if they had some form of black background. Different situation.



au Lait said:


> You were clear the first time. You're just digging the hole deeper at this point.
> 
> Here's some clarification for you. I'm not talking about preferences in physical appearance. That's normal. Everyone has those types of preferences. It becomes racism when a person rules out a whole race of people b/c they believe that entire race all looks a certain way, or if they believe that a person is unattractive just b/c they happen to be of a certain racial background.


I've never, and I mean NEVER seen an attractive black female in my lifetime. That's why I think it's reasonable to say some races are not attractive to me on the whole.



au Lait said:


> But I wonder, TPower....Why is it ok for you to exclude women based on their weight or the color of their skin, but when a woman excludes you b/c of your height suddenly she's "rude" and "annoying"?


Don't mix apples and oranges. I didn't say it wasn't alright, I said it was classless to write stuff like this on profiles, and that's exactly why I would never write stuff like "fatties, don't bother" on any one of my profiles. That would also be rude. You keep this stuff to yourself, that's called respect.


----------



## RyanJ

What is this? We're talking about skin color? Boob size? Height? Peckers? Are you kidding me? What about the concept of having a relationship with someone who is your best friend? Someone you share a connection with. Someone who gets you and you get them. Why would you want to place these asinine arbitrary restrictions on who you will get to know and possibly miss out on something special because of it?

I get the idea of physical attraction - I really do. At some point, however, it just gets be ridiculous. I see attractive women with dark skin, light skin, variable *asset* size, skinny, not skinny, etc, etc... In fact, before I became convinced that monogamous relationships were the most fulfilling option for me on a number of levels, it was my goal to experience this diversity first hand. I know I'm not the only one who thinks this way either. It doesn't make any sense to me why someone would want to miss out on something that could be so special. Restricting yourself in that way is the very definition of sadness, imho.


----------



## Harpuia

Am I the only one seeing the hypocrisy of TPower being attacked because of his pickiness of women but the women on the board say it's ok to be picky about men, because "that's just how they are"?

Granted, I understand it was on a race issue, but still. It's like walking on eggshells, I swear.

I was going to try to sum it all up into a nice ball, but RyanJ beat me to it.



RyanJ said:


> What is this? We're talking about skin color? Boob size? Height? Peckers? Are you kidding me? What about the concept of having a relationship with someone who is your best friend? Someone you share a connection with. Someone who gets you and you get them. Why would you want to place these asinine arbitrary restrictions on who you will get to know and possibly miss out on something special because of it?
> 
> I get the idea of physical attraction - I really do. At some point, however, it just gets be ridiculous. I see attractive women with dark skin, light skin, variable *asset* size, skinny, not skinny, etc, etc... In fact, before I became convinced that monogamous relationships were the most fulfilling option for me on a number of levels, it was my goal to experience this diversity first hand. I know I'm not the only one who thinks this way either. It doesn't make any sense to me why someone would want to miss out on something that could be so special. Restricting yourself in that way is the very definition of sadness, imho.


This guy pretty much wins the thread.


----------



## MindOverMood

TPower said:


> I've never, and I mean NEVER seen an attractive black female in my lifetime.


:blank

Have you not seen stomachknots here on SAS?


----------



## Jessie203

huh said:


> I'd agree that we do all make judgments about the looks of others, even if it's an unconscious process. So I don't think I'm above it, but at the same time I try to realize it and take it into account. It's just a turn-off to me when people act obviously/overly materialistic and superficial. I'm attracted to some people more than others, but certain beliefs/personalities/character traits can completely override that regardless of how well they look on the outside.
> 
> Doesn't bother me...it's your decision.


okay thats good then i respect that. i know what u mean. i dont typically date "classic beauty" type people and can feel just as big an attraction to someone average as to someone \perfect\ once i know them well its really nice


----------



## itisgoingtobefine

John316C said:


> its darn annoying i have a profile on that site and ive had it for 3? months already i havnt gotten NOT EVEN 1 message. im so sure wemon on the site dont even go looking they just sit back and empty the garbage, man im really frustrated! and i know for sure there are other guys who are the same.


That's the same luck I had on that site. Also I was on okcupid, and tried to send out messages. Before I knew it I had sent out 500 messages, and out of 500 I only managed to make 3 friends which died fairly quickly. I don't think these sites work. Also here is my testimony for the women. Any woman I have ever met online that has gone on date with a man from POF or Okcupid complained that He seemed nice until they met. Then things went goofy. I feel that people who are on these sites have "problems". I'm not saying any of us are perfect by any means. We all got issues. Some of us have pasts we are not proud of. That's human. But the problem I see with those on these dating sites is the fact they seem to have a messed up concept of what is right or wrong for a relationship. Thus why many of them have found themselves on a dating site. But there are other people who are there for other reasons. You might feel like it's hard to start a relationship face to face. You can blame social anxiety for that. Or you might be someone, like myself, that currently has no options. You work a night job. Your tired all the time. And you have a learning disability. You also have some home issues etc. It all adds up, and you find yourself using the internet as the only way to communicate with anyone other than those you currently live with.


----------



## itisgoingtobefine

*Has anyone read this blog post? I think you should look at it.*
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...-like-dysfunctional-ducks-on-a-stagnant-7575/

*Here is some of my opinions and more of my own frustrations:*
I think with the internet times have changed. A woman in town can not get hit on nearly as much as on the internet. (It's over whelming) I think a wise woman would see the difference. :stu Relationships are a two way street. Yeah it's ok if a man starts it, but he can't carry the entire relationship. Many of these ladies give me the impression that they not only want the man to make the first move, but she also wants him to do all the work there after. And that's the main reason why I've lost so many female friends. I never haft to worry about them getting carried away to the point of blocking them. I just quit IMing or quit calling, and the friendship is over. But if you were to ask some of these ladies, are you still friends with me? They usually say yes. And yet there is nothing real there. So either they got a messed up concept of friendship or they are great liars. What is courting? To me it's spending time with someone. Some of these people give me impression that no matter how much time or effort you put into them you won't get anything real in return. I guess it's human nature to be selfish self centered. But Selfish and self centered doesn't produce love. These dating sites turn us all into merchandise. And then like a good liar, called salesman we try and sell ourselves. I frankly don't see how any of this stuff works. It's no wonder that over half of all marriages end in divorce. Everyone is looking for the wrong things... Then they get the wrong things... A year ago, one of my female friends called me. I had to listen to her cry about her boyfriend for over an hour. I could only wish that I had the right words to say... I had none. But I was kind, and gave her a good listening ear. The trouble was she fell for the wrong man again! I asked her where she met this guy? POF was the answer. :sigh


----------



## BobtheBest

OldSchoolSkater said:


> Guys. Women aren't going to message you. You need to message them. It's just like being out on the town. They aren't going to approach you, you need to approach and "court" them.


Pof may suck, but that's not completely true. I was messaged by a woman before sending any messages at all. Maybe it's just a fluke or something...


----------



## rymo

If you think pof sucks you're either heinous looking, expecting too much, or most likely: you aren't doing it right.


----------



## TPower

I just recalled one hilarious profile I've ended up on once. 

It was written along the lines of "I want a tall, handsome, muscular man that's going to love me for who I am". 

I laughed.


----------



## huh

Perhaps all these girls are members of the AGU?






Oh the onion, what would I do without you :teeth


----------



## itisgoingtobefine

I'm sorry about going off like I did. It's just that this whole online dating thing has frustrated me for years. :stu


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

artandis said:


> But this way you don't have to waste time writing a message on a girl who you wouldn't want to be with anyways. And it seems that those girls really don't care if you think they are stuck up *****es or worth being despised.
> 
> Everyone has standards (albeit, some are higher than others). Those girls are just being practical and upfront. It's not the way I would go about it, or want to present myself, but it's their choice.
> 
> And if it bothers you so much, just leave their profile and look elsewhere.


+1.


----------



## roses6

TPower said:


> I just recalled one hilarious profile I've ended up on once.
> 
> It was written along the lines of "I want a tall, handsome, muscular man that's going to love me for who I am".
> 
> I laughed.


Lol, that's quite funny.


----------



## Fiji07

*sorry but here is what I think*

High maintenance cougar good thing for spell check I would give this profile a stab lol no I don't meet the weight requirement
plus I have stats in my favor
1 gentleman 
2 shy
3 tall
4 young
5 anxiety stricken
6 like chocolate
7 want to get a degree in vet tech and start an animal clinic
8 can converse but won't open up with feelings until I'm comfy with a person


----------



## CynicalOptimist

au Lait said:


> It's funny, b/c I have read posts from many men on here speaking very emphatically about wanting a "perfect 10". Then when the shoe is on the other foot suddenly they feel hurt. Maybe now they will know what it's like to for the women on this site who don't consider themselves to be a "10" or w/e (I really hate that whole rating people by numbers bs) to read things like that.
> 
> If those women didn't say that on their profile, and people who didn't meet their requirements wrote to them and they just didn't reply, then this thread would probably be about how women in the online dating scene are stuck up and rude. Sometimes it feels like we just can't win.
> 
> I think profiles like that are "annoying" to some b/c basically it is a case of coming to terms with the fact that not every woman will be available to them in the way they desire.


I notice this as well. This seems so true.


----------



## CynicalOptimist

TPower said:


> So? Black people all have black skin, don't they?
> 
> Again, darker skin is not attractive to my own eyes. I find them as repulsive as ugly "white" women, so personality alone won't cut it. Is that clearer?


Sorry to burst your bubble, but if you honestly have not seen or surrounded yourself with enough Black people to know their skin tones are quite various, many of which are a brown shade rather than "black skin" as you refer to it, then maybe you might like to educate yourself in this regard and spend more time around Black people to acquaint yourself with the diversity that exists with their features, especially in relation to complexion.

Also, it's one thing to say you don't find Black women and other non-white races of women attractive, but did you really need to go so far as to say, "I find them as repulsive as ugly white women..."? This was unnecessarily offensive. Just leave it at you not finding these races of women attractive. Don't suggest they are ugly, or desexualize them just because they are not your cup of tea.

I am surprised there has been no response to this type of comment by the mods, when I feel this at least borders on being inappropriate, and I have noticed a number of mods have already seen this thread, considering I noticed their posts in it. Well mods? 



au Lait said:


> Uh no...once again you are reveling your own racial stereotyping. Reread what I wrote. Some black people can be very light skinned. So light they are often mistaken as white.
> 
> You were clear the first time. You're just digging the hole deeper at this point.
> 
> Here's some clarification for you. I'm not talking about preferences in physical appearance. That's normal. Everyone has those types of preferences. It becomes racism when a person rules out a whole race of people b/c they believe that entire race all looks a certain way, or if they believe that a person is unattractive just b/c they happen to be of a certain racial background.
> 
> But I wonder, TPower....Why is it ok for you to exclude women based on their weight or the color of their skin, but when a woman excludes you b/c of your height suddenly she's "rude" and "annoying"?
> 
> I think you just proved my initial theory. It annoys you b/c you got rejected. You're mad b/c a woman you were interested in isn't attracted to your body type. She has her preferences, just as you have yours which you have so vehemently defended in this thread. Guess it's time to accept that those women are really no different from yourself.


This does seem true.


----------



## Absolution

TPower said:


> I just recalled one hilarious profile I've ended up on once.
> 
> It was written along the lines of "I want a tall, handsome, muscular man that's going to love me for who I am".
> 
> I laughed.


Hahaha. Wow.


----------



## offbyone

TPower said:


> So? Black people all have black skin, don't they?
> 
> So what? How else do you want me to refer to those people, tell me? I wouldn't give a single **** about it if someone referred to white people as _them_.
> 
> Again, darker skin is not attractive to my own eyes. I find them as repulsive as ugly "white" women, so personality alone won't cut it. Is that clearer?


Is this post serious and not just some awful attempt at trolling? How the hell can the same guy complaining about women posting unrealistic limits to their dating profiles turn around and say "ALL BLACK WOMEN ARE UGLY".

I mean, I understand that it's possible to be myopic and hypocritical, but wow.


----------



## Just Tony

ForeverStallone said:


> http://www.pof.com/member27392893.htm
> 
> You'll love this one then
> 
> She writes "don't judge a book by its cover" then proceeds to list uncontrollable physical traits as turn offs eg men under certain height, balding men.
> 
> On top of that she can't cook but expects you to pay for dinner.
> 
> Honest but hypocritical


Oh lord...

One look at that list was enough. I dont care if you look like a goddess or the devil. Plenty of other fishes in the sea.

I appreciate her honesty I guess. Oh and thanks for the laugh haha.


----------



## TPower

CynicalOptimist said:


> Also, it's one thing to say you don't find Black women and other non-white races of women attractive, but did you really need to go so far as to say, "I find them as repulsive as ugly white women..."? This was unnecessarily offensive. Just leave it at you not finding these races of women attractive. Don't suggest they are ugly, or desexualize them just because they are not your cup of tea.


Well, I'm being called racist for not finding them attractive. I'm not attracted to them because I don't find them attractive, not because they are black, or brown, or whatever you want to call it.

I'm not attracted to men, does that mean I hate them? Some of them are feminine as well, so what?


----------



## TPower

offbyone said:


> Is this post serious and not just some awful attempt at trolling? How the hell can the same guy complaining about women posting unrealistic limits to their dating profiles turn around and say "ALL BLACK WOMEN ARE UGLY".
> 
> I mean, I understand that it's possible to be myopic and hypocritical, but wow.


Would you date an ugly person? Without being hypocritical, the obvious answer is NO. So you're basically saying that asking for a person I'll be physically attracted to (again, we're not talking about perfect 10s here) is excessive?


----------



## offbyone

TPower said:


> Would you date an ugly person? Without being hypocritical, the obvious answer is NO. So you're basically saying that asking for a person I'll be physically attracted to (again, we're not talking about perfect 10s here) is excessive?


Let me break down the group of black women for you. It is pretty much the same break down as the group of white women, the group of asian women, the group of multiracial women, and the group of all women.

Some percentage are "ugly", some "plain", some "average", some "attractive", and some are "beautiful". All of those labels are also subjective to a large extent.

You aren't saying "I'm not attracted to black women" (which is ****ed up racially to begin with) you are trying to state unequivocally that all black women are ugly.

That statement is wrong, because there are black women who aren't ugly (like all women, most black women aren't ugly). Also, your level of attraction to someone does not decide if they are ugly or not.

It is also racist because you've generalized an entire group of people with a single statement.

Finally it's ignorant because labeling someone as ugly simply because you aren't attracted to them is ridiculous because there are other people who would find the same person attractive.

Responding to your first question of would I date an ugly person? I would definitely date people you consider ugly. I would date people others consider ugly for whatever stupid reason they've decided it.


----------



## cold fission cure

I'm a nitpicking passive aggressive coward and a cheapskate. I never see women looking for this in their profiles. When are females going to stop being closed-minded?


----------



## TPower

offbyone said:


> Let me break down the group of black women for you. It is pretty much the same break down as the group of white women, the group of asian women, the group of multiracial women, and the group of all women.
> 
> Some percentage are "ugly", some "plain", some "average", some "attractive", and some are "beautiful". All of those labels are also subjective to a large extent.
> 
> You aren't saying "I'm not attracted to black women" (which is ****ed up racially to begin with) you are trying to state unequivocally that all black women are ugly.
> 
> That statement is wrong, because there are black women who aren't ugly (like all women, most black women aren't ugly). Also, your level of attraction to someone does not decide if they are ugly or not.
> 
> It is also racist because you've generalized an entire group of people with a single statement.
> 
> Finally it's ignorant because labeling someone as ugly simply because you aren't attracted to them is ridiculous because there are other people who would find the same person attractive.


Again, I've never encountered an attractive black female in over two decades of existence. Not even Beyonce. Not even Rihanna or Aaliyah. It's reasonable, by that point, to say I find none of them attractive. It's like telling someone that it's not possible for him/her to dislike war movies because they haven't seen all of them.

Granted, they may not be universally ugly, but in my world, they are. And that's why I would never consider dating them. Unless I would want to be with them purely based on the fact that they are desired by other people, which would be completely stupid.


----------



## anomalous

au Lait said:


> Comparing a measurable and finite physical trait like height to something like race is an inherently flawed argument.
> 
> Height is something that we can measure, and does not change between individuals of the same height. People who are all 5'10" are all 5'10" no matter how you slice it.
> 
> Conversely, people of the same race do not all share the same physical features. Implying that someone's race is the same as their height completely removes the individuality of any person associated with whichever race you are referring to.


LOL.

I'm a liberal myself, and all I can do is laugh and shake my head in embarrassment at stuff like this.

Suppose he rephrased his position as, "I'm not attracted to anyone whose skin has a luminosity less than X." Would that work for you? No, seriously. I'd like an answer. Please explain whether or not this would be any less acceptable than, "I don't date men under 5'10"."

You know, there are guys who are only 5'10" because they had surgery for scoliosis, and are former 6'2" studs. Don't generalize, K?!


----------



## CynicalOptimist

offbyone said:


> Let me break down the group of black women for you. It is pretty much the same break down as the group of white women, the group of asian women, the group of multiracial women, and the group of all women.
> 
> Some percentage are "ugly", some "plain", some "average", some "attractive", and some are "beautiful". All of those labels are also subjective to a large extent.
> 
> You aren't saying "I'm not attracted to black women" (which is ****ed up racially to begin with) you are trying to state unequivocally that all black women are ugly.
> 
> That statement is wrong, because there are black women who aren't ugly (like all women, most black women aren't ugly). Also, your level of attraction to someone does not decide if they are ugly or not.
> 
> It is also racist because you've generalized an entire group of people with a single statement.
> 
> Finally it's ignorant because labeling someone as ugly simply because you aren't attracted to them is ridiculous because there are other people who would find the same person attractive.
> 
> Responding to your first question of would I date an ugly person? I would definitely date people you consider ugly. I would date people others consider ugly for whatever stupid reason they've decided it.


Very well said offbyone. You are so eloquent.  I am glad you also took notice to the unnecessary slander occurring in this thread, not to mention the overt hypocrisy. :roll LOL


----------



## TPower

Profile A: 

-Must be six feet tall
-Must be muscular
-Must have a career
-Must not be bald
-Must not smoke
-Must not have children
-Must like camping

etc etc.

Profile B: 

-Must not be black. 

So, you're telling me it's on the same level, and that I'm as picky as those concerned? No questions would be asked if some random chick came here to say men under 5'8" are repulsive. But for some made up reason, for politically correct purposes, I guess, it's not okay to say black women are a turn-off?

In your idealistic view of the world, you should consider the possibility that tastes are different for each person.


----------



## CynicalOptimist

^ I'm not sure if your post is referring to me in particular. I wish that was more clear. Anyway, although you don't seem to understand the point I am trying to communicate or are pretending that you don't comprehend, I will make one last attempt to make it as comprehensible as possible. I never said anything about you not having the right to have your own standards or tastes of what you find attractive, but there is a way to communicate your standards or tastes without being offensive and degrading, which seems to be a conscious choice you've made in this thread in communicating your standards/tastes. If you still don't get this then whatever. I'm done here. BTW...just for the record...I don't have an idealistic view of the world...hence why I refer to myself as cynical, so please don't judge me with baseless assumptions when you don't even know me personally, thanks.


----------



## au Lait

anomalous said:


> LOL.
> 
> I'm a liberal myself, and all I can do is laugh and shake my head in embarrassment at stuff like this.
> 
> Suppose he rephrased his position as, "I'm not attracted to anyone whose skin has a luminosity less than X." Would that work for you? No, seriously. I'd like an answer. Please explain whether or not this would be any less acceptable than, "I don't date men under 5'10"."


haha what the..? I know you don't like me anomalous, but try to calm down. I'm not really even sure what you're trying to say here, and I don't think you really understood my post at all. A height preference is not the same as making blanket statements about an entire race. I specifically said that having preferences for certain characteristics is normal (you would have seen that if you had bothered to read my other post in this thread). However, that is clearly not what has been hinted at repeatedly in TPower's posts. It's pretty clear that his "preferences" go beyond that.



anomalous said:


> You know, there are guys who are only 5'10" because they had surgery for scoliosis, and are former 6'2" studs. Don't generalize, K?!


This analogy doesn't relate to the point I was making in my post. Like, at all. But it would appear that you were more interested in shoehorning a jab at my distaste for generalizations into your replay, rather than actually thinking up an analogy that fit.

Someone who had surgery to change their height would still be whatever height they are post surgery...as in, it's still a quantifiable physical trait. There's really no comparison to a person saying they find an entire race of people unattractive. Because guess what? People of the same race are still not all the same physically. But a person who is 5'10" is still 5'10", regardless of whether it was from corrective surgery or a growth spurt or whatever.


----------



## Atticus

au Lait said:


> haha what the..? I know you don't like me anomalous, but try to calm down. I'm not really even sure what you're trying to say here, and I don't think you really understood my post at all. A height preference is not the same as making blanket statements about an entire race. I specifically said that having preferences for certain characteristics is normal (you would have seen that if you had bothered to read my other post in this thread). However, that is clearly not what has been hinted at repeatedly in TPower's posts. It's pretty clear that his "preferences" go beyond that.
> 
> This analogy doesn't relate to the point I was making in my post. Like, at all. But it would appear that you were more interested in shoehorning a jab at my distaste for generalizations into your replay, rather than actually thinking up an analogy that fit.
> 
> Someone who had surgery to change their height would still be whatever height they are post surgery...as in, it's still a quantifiable physical trait. There's really no comparison to a person saying they find an entire race of people unattractive. Because guess what? People of the same race are still not all the same physically. But a person who is 5'10" is still 5'10", regardless of whether it was from corrective surgery or a growth spurt or whatever.


TPower's statement makes all kinds of assumptions about a person, or more precisely about a person's attractiveness based on skin color. Aside from the sort of nastiness of his comments, I get confused because I'm not sure how we define "black". Some people from India or other parts of asia have darker skin than some people from africa. At what precise point on the skin color scale (quantifiable) does someone become "black enough" to be unattractive in TPower's world, and how does that silly point on a color scale trump everything else about a person that might make him or her attractive?

Now with height, we can mark a point where one passes from attractive to unattractive. It is so very different because we know that everything else about a person that might make him or her attractive is trumped by sliding from, say, 5-11 to 5-9. I mean, protection, and shoes, and French megalomaniacs; all those relevant points make sense of it all :yes

I'm not sure whether this is the point anomalous is making, but it's mine. We all have arbitrary and often impossible to logically defend preferences, and preferences most of us would bend when talking to a real person.

If we were all totally honest about what we like on a dating profile, I think we'd all come off looking pretty stupid and insensitive. I realize this gets complicated by the fact that even on-line, men tend to approach women, especially photogenic ones, and so some type of screening can seem efficient. I also realize that assailing a woman's choices is different from assailing a man's.

But as it is and somewhat understandably, most of the list makers on dating sites are women, but when men use the same kind of general rule, it's just as absurd and "annoying". All black women are unattractive is no more absurd than all men below 5-10 are unattractive. TPower can have a point and be a hypocrite.

And for full disclosure I'm 6-1, so all women flock to me always. Except for the bald thing


----------



## anomalous

au Lait said:


> haha what the..? I know you don't like me anomalous, but try to calm down. I'm not really even sure what you're trying to say here, and I don't think you really understood my post at all. A height preference is not the same as making blanket statements about an entire race. I specifically said that having preferences for certain characteristics is normal (you would have seen that if you had bothered to read my other post in this thread). However, that is clearly not what has been hinted at repeatedly in TPower's posts. It's pretty clear that his "preferences" go beyond that.


You never answered my question.


----------



## heroin

Atticus said:


> TPower's statement makes all kinds of assumptions about a person, or more precisely about a person's attractiveness based on skin color. Aside from the sort of nastiness of his comments, I get confused because I'm not sure how we define "black". Some people from India or other parts of asia have darker skin than some people from africa. At what precise point on the skin color scale (quantifiable) does someone become "black enough" to be unattractive in TPower's world, and how does that silly point on a color scale trump everything else about a person that might make him or her attractive?


Whether TPower is being nasty or not, race is not just difference in skin colour. There is appreciable and distinct difference in phenotypes between groups of people from different regions of the world. Skin colour is just one of these differences. There are others, in bone structure, blood, hair, average height and weight, etc.

And yes, it is entirely possible that someone may not be attracted to the typical phenotype found among a certain group of people. Someone may be turned off by darker skin, epicanthic folds or kinky hair, just like any other physical characteristic, like height, regardless of what race or cultural group the other person identifies with. It does not matter where the "line" is for the skin to be just dark enough for one to be considered attractive or not. However, that does not mean that it is incorrect to say that one may not be attracted to the typical features found in a certain group of people.

I don't know why so many people on this forum have such a difficult time talking about groups of people in general, and not individually.


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## TPower

I'm not trolling, I've got better things to do with my own life.

If I could express in words at what point a skin tone is too dark for me, I would. It's no worse than saying a man is too short under X'Y". If you see racism in that claim, you are most likely racist yourself.


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## CynicalOptimist

OldSchoolSkater said:


> WHEN WILL THIS THREAD BE CLOSED ALREADY!?
> 
> This has gone on for 8 pages and nothing good has come out of here.
> 
> Please


LOL I know, right? I'm starting to lose faith in the mods here. Can someone say...double standard.


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## Kennnie

Thank you for reminding me why i avoid females.


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## TPower

OldSchoolSkater said:


> Look. You are very hypocritical in all of your posts, which is why I assume you are trolling.
> 
> You state that it is annoying and seem to take personal offense to people who state their preferences on their dating page. THEN you state that you have preferences yourself, but it is unacceptable for these women to put their standards out there so that those who do not fit them don't have a chance. YOU then do the same by saying that you wouldn't date a black woman.
> 
> I am not worried about it being racist, as I understand we all have preferences and see beauty differently. However, you've proven everyone's point here, which is that you can not help what you find attractive and unattractive.
> 
> So, to continually argue about this seems like trolling to me. You say women shouldn't be allowed to have their preferences on their dating page, but you have preferences yourself and that is ok with you. How is this is not trolling.....?


Having preferences is not annoying in itself, everybody has preferences.

But presenting them as requirements set in stone make you appear stuck up and rude.

That's my whole point from the start. I don't write that I wouldn't date women under or over X'Y" on my profile. I don't write weight requirements and excetera.


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## offbyone

TPower said:


> Having preferences is not annoying in itself, everybody has preferences.
> 
> But presenting them as requirements set in stone make you appear stuck up and rude.
> 
> That's my whole point from the start. I don't write that I wouldn't date women under or over X'Y" on my profile. I don't write weight requirements and excetera.


Yeah, you just avoid black women because they are ugly. How is this not trolling?


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## ohgodits2014

While we're on the subject of black women being ugly, I just want to point out that black women on OKCupid write back the most and get the fewest replies. So the next time we play the "who has it worse" game, let's keep that in mind.


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## TPower

OldSchoolSkater said:


> No, but you have requirements just like they do and that's the point. Who are you to say that they shouldn't be allowed to put their requirements on their page?
> 
> And on that note, I would politely ask the moderators to close this thread. It seems that we are all continually repeating ourselves and we are not making any new developments anymore.
> 
> Also, you are worried about these women sounding stuck up and rude. To be honest, you are coming off very arrogant and rude since you are not open to hearing what anyone else has to say.


I am different in the sense that I wouldn't write "Black women, don't bother" or "Fatties, get away" because I feel this would be classless and mean.

Also, sense the difference between a preference and a requirement - it's far from the same thing. Having a dozen requirements gives the impression that you are stubborn and close-minded.


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## mistyeyes

ForeverStallone said:


> http://www.pof.com/member27392893.htm
> 
> You'll love this one then
> 
> She writes "don't judge a book by its cover" then proceeds to list uncontrollable physical traits as turn offs eg men under certain height, balding men.
> 
> On top of that she can't cook but expects you to pay for dinner.
> 
> Honest but hypocritical


LOL!! She's not even that attractive! Her eyebrows are weird.. As are her poses and her lipstick is hideous..

Yes.. That's me being biotchy because
she's so very high maintenance and I hate chicks like that.

Stupid girl.


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## huh

Another gem from a profile I came across. This was in their long list of requirements.



> -NO virgins and/or someone who has never been in a relationship.....I tried it, didn't work out. When you are older than 21 or 22 and it hasn't happened to you yet, there is a reason why.


Ouch...just ouch, lol.


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## RyanJ

huh said:


> Another gem from a profile I came across. This was in their long list of requirements.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> -NO virgins and/or someone who has never been in a relationship.....I tried it, didn't work out. When you are older than 21 or 22 and it hasn't happened to you yet, there is a reason why.
> 
> 
> 
> Ouch...just ouch, lol.
Click to expand...

I've seen variations on that theme from posters here.



> Having been with a few virgins personally I'd put the minimum number of women I'd like a guy to have slept with around 5. Much less annoying to not have to explain all things sexual and they tend to be less clingy and more willing to give space than guys who have had few or no relationships.


Ah, stereotypes... :teeth


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## TPower

Explain what precisely?

Unless you are mentally retarded (and if you are, you probably shouldn't be having sex) you know how sex works. You don't need to be told what to do. Hell, animals don't have half our brain and they do it.


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## Atticus

RyanJ said:


> I've seen variations on that theme from posters here.
> 
> Ah, stereotypes... :teeth


Missed that the first time around. Social anxiety support site "thoughtfulness award" for that one.


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## offbyone

TPower said:


> Explain what precisely?
> 
> Unless you are mentally retarded (and if you are, you probably shouldn't be having sex) you know how sex works. You don't need to be told what to do. Hell, animals don't have half our brain and they do it.


You would think so but honestly some people can reach adulthood with no idea how it works. I'm not saying they are brilliant but they certainly aren't mentally retarded. People who have had poor sex ed are generally the worst.


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## TPower

I don't know. Women who talk like this make it sounds like the guy doesn't know he has to insert his penis inside her.

On top of that, not everyone enjoys the same things in bed, there is always an adaptation period with a new partner.


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## Visionary

I thought dating sites were meant for people to put requirements about what they want.


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## mistyeyes

rymo said:


> TPower said:
> 
> 
> 
> If a girl;
> 
> -Is in my age range (say, 16-24)
> -Has a healthy weight (No, 5'4" and 180 lbs is not healthy)
> -Is white (Not attracted to other ethnic backgrounds)
> 
> There are about 80% chances I'll find her attractive. Picky? Says who? The girl I was never able to get off my mind had 25 lbs on me. What gives?
> 
> 
> 
> You racist!!!!
Click to expand...

Sorry but this is NOT racist.. Not at all!!! How many ethnicities that are non-caucasian date outside their race? Not many. You need to read what he said before jumping to harsh conclusions and being so rude! Seriously!!!


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## mistyeyes

Durrr


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## rymo

mistyeyes said:


> Sorry but this is NOT racist.. Not at all!!! How many ethnicities that are non-caucasian date outside their race? Not many. You need to read what he said before jumping to harsh conclusions and being so rude! Seriously!!!


I was kidding.


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## iamwhatiam

Why close the thread? I think it is interesting. I think that there are different ways to say the same thing, some positive some negative. Instead of saying NO PEOPLE UNDER 6 FOOT, you could say I am looking for someone above 6 feet. Instead of NO BLACK WOMEN! I am looking for someone who is white. You are saying the same thing, but one is focused on what you want, while the other is saying what you don't want and comes across as negative.


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## TPower

Also.. using the word "midget" or "runt" to describe short men is just as bad as using the N word.


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## offbyone

TPower said:


> Also.. using the word "midget" or "runt" to describe short men is just as bad as using the N word.


You really like digging that trench don't you?


----------



## a degree of freedom

TPower said:


> Hell, animals don't have half our brain and they do it.


They're also not half so imaginative and they're _still _awkward at first.


----------



## a degree of freedom

offbyone said:


> You aren't saying "I'm not attracted to black women" (which is ****ed up racially to begin with) you are trying to state unequivocally that all black women are ugly.
> 
> That statement is wrong, because there are black women who aren't ugly (like all women, most black women aren't ugly). Also, your level of attraction to someone does not decide if they are ugly or not.


The subjectivity is implied I think. It's just quicker to say it as though it were objective.

Also, if you've found no member of a race attractive, it seems like a natural thing to say that you're not attracted to that race. The "notwithstanding future experience that could prove me wrong" qualification is implied. It's just quicker to drop it.


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## Salus

better to know it now than after you start getting to know those women.

but i do wonder do you look for a "certain" type of woman? a certain height? hair colour? etc?


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## coeur_brise

TPower said:


> Having preferences is not annoying in itself, everybody has preferences.
> 
> But presenting them as requirements set in stone make you appear stuck up and rude.
> 
> That's my whole point from the start. I don't write that I wouldn't date women under or over X'Y" on my profile. I don't write weight requirements and excetera.


Even though it seems like women are filtering out undesirable partners, you could like at it as if they were saying, "I don't like bald guys, short guys, creepy guys, guys with no cars, etc." just as another person would say "I don't like black guys/women." Haha. Well, race is always a much deeper issue than that, but there are always women that will make exceptions.


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## Atticus

This thing probably has outlasted its usefulness, but I'll prolong it a bit more :yes.

I chimed in earlier and admitted to being annoyed by lists of requirements. I think it's a matter of emphasis. If someone says he or she likes X, Y, and Z traits, even if I don't possess those traits, I don't think I'd be more than mildly disappointed if I was interested in the person. When the writer takes a "no one with A, B, or C need apply" approach, I find it annoying because that switch in emphasis seems to make a commodity out of those traits, and a livestock auction out of the dating process. 

And I pay attention to the words used. If the thread had said "outraged" rather than annoyed, I'd have disagreed or qualified any comment. I'm merely annoyed, which I take to mean slightly disturbed or put off. Also, my annoyance is tinged with a bit of whimsy at the way some people view others, or more likely at how they view themselves. In the end, the list makers do someone like me a favor even if I meet the requirements. I'd struggle being around someone so efficient in human relations.


----------



## shynesshellasucks

It doesn't really bother me TBH.


----------



## con4cyn

TPower said:


> I've never, and I mean NEVER seen an attractive black female in my lifetime. That's why I think it's reasonable to say some races are not attractive to me on the whole.


I'm taking that personally because I AM a black female, but I understand people can have physical preferences. What looks I attractive to one person can look unattractive to another. I mostly date white guys myself. I've never felt comfortable dating men of other races even though I've been physically attracted. That's just my comfort zone. Everyone has one. I had a boyfriend (who is my best friend now) that used to think black people were inferior. A little bit more experience with the different types of people in a racially diverse work environment, and making new friends made his preconceived notions disappear. He's fallen in love with women of all races since. It's all about environment, and a willingness to open your mind.


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## con4cyn

By the way, it's taken me years to figure out what I want in a partner. I've had ****ty relationships with guys who were square chiseled face Greek god looking manly men. I've had ****ty relationships with short red headed not so manly men. I just want to not be bullied, and accepted just the way I am. Whether that be with a life long friend, romantic partner, or both.


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## bsd3355

They have a right to put w.e they want on their profiles. If it is a standard then so be it. Everyone has standards and preferences.


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## fredbloggs02

They're daters. They're looking for dates. They don't care about you.


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## AllToAll

:lol

Are you going into a teen dating website? Jeez Louise... Seriously, who would write "don't contact me if you're under 6' tall"? I really can't imagine someone over 18 saying that. Unless they're looking for, pardon my French, a f.uck. Actually, it still doesn't make sense...


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## dkriot

TPower said:


> Also.. using the word "midget" or "runt" to describe short men is just as bad as using the N word.


They are nothing alike because short people were never oppressed by society due to their height. Plus people refer to others as little runts as a term of endearment.


----------



## ThisGuy

AllToAll said:


> :lol
> 
> Are you going into a teen dating website? Jeez Louise... Seriously, who would write "*don't contact me if you're under 6' tall*"? I really can't imagine someone over 18 saying that. Unless they're looking for, pardon my French, a f.uck. Actually, it still doesn't make sense...


I've seen it a couple times on OKCupid. To your defense, they were younger and, *pause* not anywhere near 6'.

Many of these young girls are clueless when it comes to knowing what they want in a guy. Check out the 26+ club, and you will find a lot of their profiles fair and realistic enough. You should look at this as a _good_ thing. Good filtering mechanism.


----------



## Dear turtle

Honestly I don't see what's the problem of putting out requirements, it saves the lurker time to filter out the crap profiles. Like you said, even if you met all her requirements you still wouldn't contact her as putting out an overly high demanding list really says a lot about your personality... 
Would you rather if the person didn't state that on their profile only for the person to later drop the ball in a convo that they don't date men under 6ft. That's precious time wasted if you ask me lol


----------



## tardisblue

Atticus said:


> This thing probably has outlasted its usefulness, but I'll prolong it a bit more :yes.
> 
> I chimed in earlier and admitted to being annoyed by lists of requirements. I think it's a matter of emphasis. If someone says he or she likes X, Y, and Z traits, even if I don't possess those traits, I don't think I'd be more than mildly disappointed if I was interested in the person. When the writer takes a "no one with A, B, or C need apply" approach, I find it annoying because that switch in emphasis seems to make a commodity out of those traits, and a livestock auction out of the dating process.


I agree with you. I think it takes the soul and romance out of the search and not only that makes it sound like no matter who you are, if you are under 6', you're a waste of my time. Think about how women would react if a guy put requirements like, "Buxom blondes only. No fatties. If you are overweight, do not contact me."

I honestly don't know if posting such a thing actually attracts people, but then again, if the girl is good-looking enough in the photo, there are definitely men over 6' that will be interested.


----------



## Cletis

ForeverStallone said:


> http://www.pof.com/member27392893.htm
> 
> You'll love this one then
> 
> She writes "don't judge a book by its cover" then proceeds to list uncontrollable physical traits as turn offs eg men under certain height, balding men.
> 
> On top of that she can't cook but expects you to pay for dinner.
> 
> Honest but hypocritical


Well, to her credit, she does say she'll take a bald American basketball player. :no :roll


----------



## con4cyn

Hey, I can't really cook. Not that I'm not learning. I think it's nice to have my dinner paid for. Not like I won't make it up to him in other ways. *cough*


----------



## Funkadelic

If you see an online profile with a strict list of requirements like this, that should be a pretty obvious way of saying "Don't bother contacting me, you will simply come up against the astounding wall of my stupidity".


----------



## loquaciousintrovert

NoIce said:


> Just saves you the effort of finding all this out after you message them.
> They're doing you a favor


I have to agree. If that's what they want, it's what they want, and there's not much you can do about it. I've had men stop talking to me or not even message me because I don't put a picture on my profile. There are men who say "no fat women" and so on. So it's not just women, everyone does it.


----------



## loquaciousintrovert

ForeverStallone said:


> http://www.pof.com/member27392893.htm
> 
> You'll love this one then
> 
> She writes "don't judge a book by its cover" then proceeds to list uncontrollable physical traits as turn offs eg men under certain height, balding men.
> 
> On top of that she can't cook but expects you to pay for dinner.
> 
> Honest but hypocritical


I don't see what's so unreasonable about expecting someone to buy you dinner even if you can't cook. The two things have nothing to do with each other.

I'm not a good cook but I'd like someone to take me out to dinner...how do those contradict each other?

Women don't have to cook, we aren't servants.


----------



## Lottoman

loquaciousintrovert said:


> I don't see what's so unreasonable about expecting someone to buy you dinner even if you can't cook. The two things have nothing to do with each other.
> 
> I'm not a good cook but I'd like someone to take me out to dinner...how do those contradict each other?
> 
> Women don't have to cook, we aren't servants.


He didn't say anything about women being servants I think he merely meant there should be some type of equivalent exchange/balance. For example someone in the relationship pays for food and someone cooks that food or maybe one partner pays for a meal and then the next time they eat out the other partner pays. 

Some people are okay with paying for everything but there are also some people who feel that it's a bit unfair to constantly have to cover the expenses.


----------



## loquaciousintrovert

Women don't have to cook just because a man bought them dinner.


----------



## Lottoman

loquaciousintrovert said:


> Women don't have to cook just because a man bought them dinner.


Um, I don't think you quite understood what I was trying to say.


----------



## loquaciousintrovert

I understand what I need to.

What you were trying to say? Eh.


----------



## ThisGuy

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/SweetyCakes?cf=regular_indirect

Party animal. Can't tell if she's trolling or not.


----------



## komorikun

ThisGuy said:


> http://www.okcupid.com/profile/SweetyCakes?cf=regular_indirect
> 
> This is pretty bad, in a different way, especially for someone her age. Can't tell if she's trolling or not.


That must be fake.


----------



## MindOverMood

^Yes, can tell even just by the pictures..:blank


----------



## ThisGuy

komorikun said:


> That must be fake.


:doh I'm sure it is. I've heard about guys creating fake profiles and using them to wing their own profile. People are trolling, obviously.


----------



## Marakunda

ThisGuy said:


> http://www.okcupid.com/profile/SweetyCakes?cf=regular_indirect
> 
> Party animal. Can't tell if she's trolling or not.


Seems pretty trollish to me man...

Ugh, just looking at that page grosses me out, those kinda people hurt my soul. uke


----------



## ThisGuy

komorikun said:


> I made a fake empty profile with just a pic of me in a tight outfit (headless) and clicked the box for looking for "sex". That profile gets more than 10 times the amount of messages as my real profile. Sometimes I get the exact same messages to both profiles from guys. They must be sending out mass messages to all the females on the site.


haha... Way to explore your options. I guess that's the whole point of it.


----------



## Cletis

"SweetyCakes"? LOL Yup, that's phony.


----------

