# What's Your Relationship with your Roommate like?



## letitrock (Jan 10, 2009)

*What's your living situation?*
a. dorm situation, private room
b. dorm situation, share the room
c. off campus housing, private room
d. off campus housing, shared the room
*
What's your relationship with your roommate like?*
-personalities, do you talk, when you see them around school what's it like, are they more social then you, etc etc, etc, do they seem to want to reach out to you more than you want to reach out to them? anything else pertinent that I can't think of


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## Steve123 (Sep 13, 2009)

I'm off campus, private room. Thank goodness, I've heard its bad enough having a roomate even for those who don't have our problems.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

b.

We get along fine and respect each other. We just aren't close friends. Do you get what I mean?


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Off campus private. I tried the live off campus with others option, a combination of SA and living with very 'difficult' people made things near unbearable. I've moved uni's (and redoing my 1st year) just to get away from that experience and all that could be associated with it.


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## broseph (Jan 18, 2010)

On campus double dorm. We get along fine. I had a few anxiety related problems the first month or so but I've gotten over it.


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

I'm a first year student and I'm living in a small flat on my university's accomodation complex, although I do have my own room. There are three other girls living with me and although I feel fairly comfortable being there now, we don't have any real friendship at all. If we happen to come across each other in the kitchen or wherever then we'll say hi and maybe make the tiniest bit of small talk, but that's about as far as it goes. As for why none of us have really bonded, I have no idea. I think because two of us arrived later on, we're all doing different courses, and don't really have any common area besides the kitchen, we just don't tend to be around each other much. Kind of a shame in a way, but even aside from SA I'm an extremely private person, so I am glad that I'm not forced to be around others when I really don't want to be.

Actually, come to think of it... the only time all 4 of us were ever together at the same time was when there was a fire drill at about 6am. Considering we've been living in the same flat since september, that's quite strange I guess.


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## lilprincess9031 (Mar 14, 2010)

it's my 2nd year at college and i live with a roommate on campus...though technically this isn't much of a campus. she's my high school friend and we get along great...i had quite a couple of friends at high school..even though i was pretty shy...my SA triggered 2nd year of college...and it's getting worse by the dayy...there are days when i'd wish i didn't have a roommate even though we're kinda close...she's outgoing and studies in groups and everything...she knows what's going on with me with the SA thing and she's pretty understanding...like not letting people in if i don't want to see anyone and things like that...
i'm glad that she's my roommate...wouldn't have anyone else for a roomie =)


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## bowlingpins (Oct 18, 2008)

off campus, private room.

My first roommate who I had for 2 years, I was friendly with. We were not the best of buds but would occasionally go see movies, go to restaurants.

The second roommate, I hardly saw due to conflicting schedules. He seemed like an interesting guy, wish I had a chance to get to know him better and become friends with him. But then he left unexpectedly few months ago and I don't know of his whereabouts and am doubtful he will return. I have been living alone since he left. I may get another roommate in a few months.


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## wombat666 (Aug 23, 2009)

This is my second semester living in a small double dorm room, and I really don't like my roommate. He's in the room nearly all the time. You know how SA sufferers really need their 'alone time' every so often? Well I barely ever get any of that. If I'm lucky I'll get an hour a day, when he's in class. That pretty much means my anxiety level is at 100% most of the day.

I guess it wouldn't be so bad if he was a friendly kid. But I really don't feel safe around this dude. He's always got this huge frown on his face, and he always acts semi-pissed off. When he comes back from class, he tends to slam his stuff down on the floor, and when he closes the door, he tends to slam that as well. That might not seem so bad, but there's a bigger problem: he never talks to me. The first week of freshman year, we actually talked quite a bit. But gradually we started talking less and less. Not wanting to live in complete silence, I would occasionally say hello, and he would respond - and that would be it. Sometimes he would belt out 'hey' before I even finished my greeting, like he didn't want to talk to me or something. So eventually I just stopped trying, since I was always the one initiating everything. Now we can go for weeks without saying a word to each other.

I guess in a way, having a quiet roommate is a good thing. But what this guy lacks in the vocal department, he makes up for in the random noise department. He plays his guitar a ton: way too much, actually. Whenever I come into the room, he's always there. 30% of the time he's either at his desk or lying on his bed. The rest of the time, he's playing that damn guitar. Oh, and when he's not playing guitar, he's got his music on. It would be cool if it was stuff I liked, but no, it's gotta be folk rock and Bob Dylan, whose bordering-on-monotone voice is obnoxious beyond imagination. And if it's not music or guitar, it's something else. Like one time I came in, and he was playing some tetris-like game. He had the sound on max, and the only sounds that game made were annoying bleeps. Honestly, do you need max volume for that? Do you even need sound?

I guess I shouldn't be complaining, since I'm guilty of the same things myself. I like my metal, especially power metal, and when I get the chance, I'll blast it. I'm also guilty of playing video games with sound on, but to my credit, a) the sounds weren't nearly at 100% and b) it wasn't ******* tetris. But hey, I study hard, I want to relax... not to someone else's soundtrack, but my own. I know that one has to make sacrifices in dorm life, but for a person with SA, it can be quite the challenge.

But now, here's the real reason why I can't stand living in my dorm room. My roommate and I are on entirely different schedules this semester. My classes start at either 8 or 9 AM every day. Over winter break, I'd gotten used to going to sleep early and getting up early - a nice, healthy routine. I figured I'd extend that into my second semester of college. Problem is, my roommate's first classes usually start at around noon. We noticed the discrepancy early on in the semester, and my roommate started leaving the room at around 11PM-12AM, and coming back at around 2AM, presumably to give me a window in which I could safely fall asleep. This would have been the nicest thing he'd done for me, except for the fact that when he comes back at 2AM, he makes so much noise it's not even funny. He slams the door, he slams books, he slams the drawers of the dresser. I swear it takes like 20 minutes for him to stop slamming things and get into bed. For me, who's trying to fall asleep so I can get my 5 hours of shut-eye, it feels like an eternity. Yes, that's right, I said 5 hours. Because of the fact that he always wakes me up at 2AM, I can never get to sleep before then, even with the 2-hour window that I have. My anxiety simply prevents it from happening. From the time I get into bed at around 12AM, I'm simply lying in bed, waiting for the moment when he comes in and starts slamming ****.

And finally, another big problem with dorm life for me has nothing to do with my roommate as an individual. I'd probably feel this way no matter who I had for a roommate, since it is a symptom of SA (or rather AvPD, which I have had for quite a while)... and that is, the feeling that I'm always being watched and judged. I can never get comfortable: the whole time I'm in the dorm room, I always feel like my roommate is watching me, even though I know he isn't. Everything I do in there seems like an act: I'm always worried about extremely trivial things like, "am I walking weird?", "am I moving too fast?" etc. I can never really, truly be myself.

I haven't been sleeping in the dorm for the past month: rather, I've been commuting home and spending the nights there. And, to be honest, I love it. As I go through my day, I know that I can give it my all, because at the end of the day I'll be back in a safe, familiar place where I can recharge my social batteries and get a good night's rest. It seems contradictory, but I think my social life has actually picked up ever since I stopped living in the dorms, because I'm a lot more comfortable, open, and willing to converse than before. Oh, and also a lot less tired, haha.

Kudos to anyone who actually took the time to read that. I know most people probably didn't, and that's fine. I just needed somewhere to vent.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

off campus housing, private room.

My roommate is absolutely fabulous, I just love her. she's creative and is even occasionally funny. her art stuff is spread about the place, and I love it, all those bright colors and such. sometimes the easel gets in the way. She has a guitar and keeps saying she is going to learn to play it, but I don't believe her. She's a moron when it comes to electronics though. She has a terrible singing voice. she's always singing. If I ask a question, she just makes stuff up. She's a habitual liar. 

come to think of it, she's insufferable. Can't stand her. And she owes me 5 bucks.


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## JMX (Feb 26, 2008)

a. dorm situation, private room

I've had three roommates in the past, and I couldn't get along with any of them.


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

How can i stop Seamus the leprehaun from picking his toe-nails on the sofa???


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## kenny87 (Feb 22, 2009)

thankfully I never had and never will have a roommate, but I don't live in a dorm either, will never do that also.


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## Radattack (Apr 19, 2010)

On-campus dorm, and I have one roommate. I am in our room a lot, she is out doing her sorority stuff a lot. So it works pretty well, I guess. Sometimes she brings in a friend who may comment about how I spend my life in our room, or something, but **** it.

I just hate going outside my room onto my floor, because there are some *******s who like teasing me about how they haven't seen me since September.

So glad I'm getting a first floor single next year.


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## letitrock (Jan 10, 2009)

Radattack said:


> Sometimes she brings in a friend who may comment about how I spend my life in our room, or something, but **** it.
> 
> I just hate going outside my room onto my floor, because there are some *******s who like teasing me about how they haven't seen me since September.


god that sucks



Radattack said:


> So glad I'm getting a first floor single next year.


Yay, I'm happy for you!


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## WayOut (Oct 21, 2008)

(d)

Wonderful. He comes back after I'm asleep and leaves before I wake up.


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## danberado (Apr 22, 2010)

First 2 years I had my own room in University run apartment. Other than a select few occasions I did not spend time with the other tenants. I'd keep my doors shut and never enter the kitchen if someone else was in there.

3rd year there was an Italian-American paramedic in training that went out of his way to socialize with me. It was awkward. 4th year I had a series of conversations with an older roommate about religion and cinema. That last year two of my roommates were Chinese professors, and I think it amused them that I don't know how to cook. One of them was quite proud he knew the word "spaghetti", boasting that most Chinese don't know Western food names.


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## Madbritt (Nov 12, 2008)

On campus, share a dorm room.
It's awful.
My roommate and I were friends in high school. She's kind of shy and I'm EXTRA shy. I dunno. It's kind of hard seeing her make so many new friends so easily and me...not...at all. I feel so embarrassed to just be sitting in the room watching tv or doing assignments, so I try to be out of the room as much as possible.
We don't really even talk to each other anymore. Sure we force politeness, but that's just because we live together. You wouldn't know we were friends to start off with. 

I'm living in an apartment style dorm next year with someone I don't know. I hope it's better. 

Learn from me kids, don't room with a friend.


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## Jazra Coal (Apr 25, 2010)

Live off campus in a student house with 5 other people. All but one of them are first years like me, that person is a third year girl who i probably get on the best with, but it's only as much as talking with each other about music and movies while seeing each other in the kitchen lounge area.

One other guy by chance happened to be on the same course as me, he is friendly guy and we walk into class together often (when im not skiving), but he is even more antisocial than me and that is quite something. 

Everyone else was friendly at first, but when we all realised we had nothing in common we all stopped talking so much to each other, nothing more than a 'alright mate' or something. 

Although, we all get on, one girl actually wanted us all to move out for next year so she could get all her friends in for next year. Me and my coursemate stood firm, we weren't leaving so we stay for next year, she is moving out to be with her friends. Everyone else is leaving for one reason or another.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

so thankful I never had to have a room-mate either - I would have gone mad


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## Whitney (Oct 2, 2008)

Freshman year, I shared a room with a girl I didn't know before. We emailed the summer before, and it seemed like we were going to be friends so I was excited. Then I met her, and she was basically a snob who didn't want anything to do with me so we ended up co-existing and never speaking. It sucked, but could have been worse. I've had some other roommates since, but now I have an apartment to myself (just me and my dog) and I love it.


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## retropat (Aug 25, 2009)

I can't stand mine. We used to be friends, but they have no respect for me. They had 30 people over the other night for a party even though they knew I had a final the next morning. I just have to get through this next week and then I'm moving out.


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## ahref (Apr 28, 2010)

Im on campus private room in a flat of 5 people. Shared bathroom and kitchen.

I talk to one of my flatmates regularily the others are either out or have their doors shut. We have our random days of conversation though.

The flatmate i do talk to though is one of my better friends. Happy to talk about anything and always makes sure i end up back in my room at the end of a night out.


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## letitrock (Jan 10, 2009)

retropat said:


> They had 30 people over the other night for a party even though they knew I had a final the next morning.


That's so ****ed up


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## Whitney (Oct 2, 2008)

retropat said:


> I can't stand mine. We used to be friends, but they have no respect for me. They had 30 people over the other night for a party even though they knew I had a final the next morning. I just have to get through this next week and then I'm moving out.


My last roommate did something like that, even though it was only about 10 people. And I didn't have a final. It was a thursday night and I was about to go to bed, it was around 1 am or later. No one had been home all night, but then they all come in to the apartment and start being really loud. I was pissed, but I wasn't going to say anything. My dog started to go nuts because he was in my room with the door closed and heard all the people. So I let him out there, but I wanted to go to sleep and I knew he would just scratch at my door if I closed it. So I went out there to get him, and one of the guys started asking me why I never hung out with them. I hadn't planned on saying anything, but I just started yelling at him about how I had class in the morning (even though I didn't) and they were being really loud. I didn't even look at my roommate. 5 minutes later they were gone, haha. I felt bad that I yelled at him, because I never do that, but I was glad they left.


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## FakeFur (Nov 4, 2009)

I just finished my freshman year of college. I lived in a dorm and had one roommate. We never talked to each other, ever. For the first few days we would at least make small conversation, but afterwards, we stopped. It was clear though, that we wouldn't be friends. She's very outgoing, parties, drinks, and does drugs, and I'm not like that at all. Plus after a couple of days, I overheard her making fun of me to her friend while she thought I was sleeping. Didn't like her so much after that. She's done some things over the year that really bothered me, and that have all made me realize how important it is to stand up for yourself and not be scared to speak up and say when something is bothering you. I always tend to shy away from things like that. I hope next year I get a roommate I can at least talk to and get along with well. That'd be nice.


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## Revan (Jun 28, 2009)

Student halls. Own room. Started off great. Gradually found myself coming out of my shell and mingling with them more and more. Went home over Christmas. Came back and I had withdrawn into myself again. Still went out for drinks with them a few times and then after Easter things just went dead completely. I'm back at home now. Haven't seen or spoken to them in weeks. Still a few things to bring back down though so maybe I'll pop my head round the corner next time I'm up there. See how everyone's doing and all. Let them know that I haven't just died or anything lol :b


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## bowlingpins (Oct 18, 2008)

I get along well with my roommate mainly because he is such a friendly fellow. Just learned today, he may have to move to another state in a few weeks because of work. This sucks.


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