# Might be an exception, but therapy didn't help me.



## keithp (Mar 13, 2007)

I've been to therapist, counselor, psychoanalyst, and psychiatrist. 
Except for someone to vent to it didnt help me. I tried all the tips and exercises given to me and various techniques to relax and overcome anxiety. Nothing worked for me. This wasn't one doctor but at least 4 different ones with different ways of trying to help. 

A lot of people think I'm lying because they believe therapy works for everyone. I saw the reports and they had said treatment with patient was unsuccessful and reason unknown for severe anxiety. 

Either there is something else going on with me, or I am the 1% that isn't affected by therapy.

What do you do when therapy doesn't work and you don't want medication because that failed too?


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## smallfries (Jun 21, 2013)

Nobody can accurately say that therapy helps everyone. When people say that, I roll my eyes. Why? Because what, you personally know every single person on the planet? No, I didn't think so. The "this helps everyone" or "no one has ever" junk is silly and doesn't make a person look very intelligent. I'm sorry that therapy hasn't worked for you, nor medication. 

When you say it didn't help you, do you mean that it hasn't cured you or that it hasn't reduced your anxiety at all? I, for example, go to therapy and try different techniques and I am no where near to being cured, but I think that in some ways, it has helped reduce the level of anxiety, or at least let me be a bit more open with myself. 

I imagine when nothing works there isn't a lot to do about it but keep breathing, and think about the things you do have that are great. I like to count the good things in my life because it's the only way my anxiety doesn't take over. Even if I feel like there's nothing good, I look at nature - like how wonderful is that sunset tonight? That sort of thing. Have you ever tried meditation?


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## brattiness73 (Nov 20, 2004)

I don't think you are lying. I don't think that therapy alone works for everyone. I don't even think therapy with medication alone works for everyone.

I went through years of therapy situations switching therapist and the like over and over. It helped a little to vent, like you said, but it wasn't giving me the results I felt it should have been, given the time I had been doing it.

Finally one psychiatrist mentioned that maybe we should check my b-12 levels, and my D3 levels, so we did. Found out that I was severely deficient in both, and they both can cause anxiety. 

I am currently getting treatment for those, and started feeling better within a week of starting it. I am having less attacks, and less overall anxiety. 

Will it be the answer for you? Who knows, but sometimes there are other factors going on that is causing your anxiety to be at the level it is.


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

Therapy definitely isn't gonna work for everyone. I'm not even sure it'll work for me, since it hasn't. And like you said, the best aspect for me is the venting. What kind of therapy did you try? I'm gonna try exposure therapy and hopefully I can learn to become more social.


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## keithp (Mar 13, 2007)

omofca said:


> Therapy definitely isn't gonna work for everyone. I'm not even sure it'll work for me, since it hasn't. And like you said, the best aspect for me is the venting. What kind of therapy did you try? I'm gonna try exposure therapy and hopefully I can learn to become more social.


I go to stores and public places with crowds multiple times a week for hours at a time so I think that's exposure therapy but I don't need a doc to tell me to do that I do it on my own.

I tried relaxation music and breathing excersises, they didnt help at all.

The only thing that helped was just to be able to vent about life without being downgraded or yelled at like what happens with family.


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## Dylan2 (Jun 3, 2012)

keithp said:


> Either there is something else going on with me, or I am the 1% that isn't affected by therapy.
> 
> What do you do when therapy doesn't work and you don't want medication because that failed too?


Well, it's a little more than 1% of patients who don't respond to therapy. The most effective treatment for social anxiety disorder is cognitive behavioral therapy and 31% of patients don't respond to it (source: Rosenberg Edwards, 2011).

Have you tried cognitive behavioral therapy, though?


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## HappyFriday (Jul 21, 2013)

All I can say is a combination of therapy, exercising, eating healthily, sticking to a daily routine and having a positive attitude is what is helping me. My progress is slow but I'm getting there.



brattiness73 said:


> Finally one psychiatrist mentioned that maybe we should check my b-12 levels, and my D3 levels, so we did. Found out that I was severely deficient in both, and they both can cause anxiety. .


I never knew that...I should get that checked out.


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## keithp (Mar 13, 2007)

HappyFriday said:


> All I can say is a combination of therapy, exercising, eating healthily, sticking to a daily routine and having a positive attitude is what is helping me. My progress is slow but I'm getting there.
> 
> I never knew that...I should get that checked out.


My Mom has that issue so that explains why she is crazy lol. Actually her cholesterol medication imbalanced that normally her levels are fine and so are mine so for me that isn't causing anxiety but still a good thing to get checked out.


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## AnxietyGirlx (Feb 26, 2011)

Sorry to hear that. I'm currently going to therapy once per week, and I honestly don't think it's going to completely get rid of my severe social anxiety. I still go and am willing to give it a try, though I only look forward for the medication to help put me at ease. I don't want to keep going, but I was told therapy+medication go together... I wish I knew the answer to your case. Perhaps you can educate yourself on why humans experience anxiety - what causes this reaction to happen, and what you can do for yourself to lessen the fear. Hope you get the help you need.


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## Patriot (Oct 14, 2011)

Why would they tell you that you're lying? lol

Therapy doesn't work for everyone.


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## shyguy77 (Jan 10, 2008)

Therapy didn't work for me either, only made me feel worse. People like us need to be shown how to have a good time. What does that even mean? WTF is fun? seriously if I could know how to make someone smile I'd have no problem being around co-workers or going to the grocery store.


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## Empty7 (May 22, 2013)

keithp said:


> I go to stores and public places with crowds multiple times a week for hours at a time so I think that's exposure therapy but I don't need a doc to tell me to do that I do it on my own.
> 
> I tried relaxation music and breathing excersises, they didnt help at all.
> 
> The only thing that helped was just to be able to vent about life without being downgraded or yelled at like what happens with family.


With the level of anxiety (fear of being judged) I used to have 2 months ago I do not think that relaxation music and breathing excersises would worked for me either, I was so scared I would find hard to breath and I was so self-conscious I was not aware of what was happening around me, a few times I even had panic attacks and began to tremble. So I have been to a psychologist and I don't know the name of the therapy he used but I guess it was expsure therapy or something like that, it only made things worse so I dropped him thinking I'm messed up and there is no salvation for me anymore.

But then I have found out about Cognitive Behavorial Therapy aka CBT that seems to show results for me, not from the first week of course at the end of the second week of therapy I even questioned whether I have made progress or not but then I took a paper and made a list with the abnormal thoughts I had and how I felt in social situation before CBT and how I feel now after 2 week of therapy and noticed a slight improvement.

Right now I'm at the 5th week of CBT and I'm not cured yet but I feel that I've made a lot of progress in overcoming social anxiety, even though I still have a lot of messed up things in my head, doubts that people won't like me and even when I'm writing this I'm afraid something isn't right, or people may dislike something I said or may dislike my wrting style I still feel relatively ok because comparring with what anxiety I used to have this is piece of cake to endure, but I don't want to stop here, I want to fully overcome the social anxiety, I know that not having social anxiety will change me as a person and I don't know if this is my social anxiety that is telling me this but I'm uncertain what kind of person I'll become when I will overcome the social anxiety yet I'm willing to dive into the unknown.

So as you can see the Cognitive Behavorial Therapy seems to work for me and I recommend you to try it, the therapy you've made might not have worked because the form of social anxiety differs from person to person, I've also heard that Emotional Freedom Technique aka EFT can cure social anxiety but I don't know what it is. The worst part about social anxiety is that in most cases it leads to depression and when you are depressed nothing is fun, you aren't in mood for anything, you feel like you wanna give up so you have to force youself into doing this things, being persistent is the hardest part in overcoming social anxiety. Sorry for making such a long post.


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## Downtheroad (Jul 20, 2013)

Therapy didnt help me at all. When I went I was never comfortable with venting to someone else and I tried many different therapists etc. I always thought about how they were getting paid and theres no real concern or whatever to actually help me because they get paid regardless if I tell them anything or not. But at the same time I didnt want to waste their time so I would just tell them very general things and stopped going after a while. I can't vent to someone I hardly know, I have trust issues with that I guess so I can only really vent thing like that to people I know really well. So you arent alone in therapy not helping you but its pretty much my fault in the first place for it not helping me.


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## Macker (Jul 18, 2013)

OP, what was your initial thoughts and feelings about going to therapy the first time?


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## Manuel (Jul 8, 2013)

keithp said:


> What do you do when therapy doesn't work and you don't want medication because that failed too?


An EXCELLENT question indeed!

I have asked myself that very same question (although I haven't tried any medication, but I don't believe in that anyway.)

You can try to figure out how to deal with it YOURSELF? I guess you are already doing that to some extent, but how many different things have you really explored? The problem is that you often don't know that you don't know something!

By that I mean that there might be something out there that could help you that you don't know about! So the challenge is to FIND these solutions.

The only way to find it, though, is to start looking and KEEP looking in different places UNTIL you find something that works. I wouldn't know what else there is TO do. I mean, the only other option would be to do nothing and simply hope that through sheer luck or some kind of miracle you stumble upon something that might help you, but that's highly unlikely.

So where do you start looking? I think you have to THINK about your problem first, you have to analyze it. In order to find a solution, you first need to be sure you have the correct CAUSE identified, otherwise you will be working on fixing the wrong thing! You need to ask yourself questions like "What exactly IS my problem?", "What is the root CAUSE of this problem?" Only THEN can you think about "What can I do to change/fix this?"

It's very important to find the RIGHT cause, however. It's not always as straightforward as it seems. For example, therapists might say to you that you are socially anxious because of your thoughts and beliefs (CBT therapy) but is that really true??? I personally think it's only a small part of the truth.

I think one of the best things you can do to start with is to STOP blindly believing what the so-called "experts" say and start thinking for yourself. Do your OWN research into causes of fear, read a wide variety of books to increase your understanding of human psychology, not just books on psychology itself but books that deal with human emotion in other ways, like books on forgiveness, books about self-growth, books about relationships etc. Feed your mind with information and you will start to make your OWN connections in life! Do not believe everything the experts say, because experts are often WRONG.

Here's a partial list to get you started on your own path of exploration:

1. Google things like "fear", "overcoming fear", "causes of fear", "what is fear" etc.
2. See what other disciplines and practices have to say about fear, like Yoga (see the books by Vivekananda), martial arts (see the book A complete guide to chi gung by Daniel Reid), Zen Buddhism etc.
3. Read spiritual books like those by Paul Ferrini (especially The Twelve Steps of Forgiveness)
4. Read about the theory of bio-energetic therapy by Alexander Lowen (you can google it).

All of these things will broaden your perspective on what fear is and how to deal with it. Rather than just getting ONE perspective from perhaps a CBT therapist who reduces it all down to how you think.

And how did I find all this information? By LOOKING for it myself! And also by feeding my mind with interesting information that had nothing to do with social anxiety, because the more varied your interests the more likely it is that you will accidentally stumble upon something that might help you in a completely different area of your life!

And this list is just the start, you can and should think about your life and your problems *yourself. *Don't just rely on a therapist to provide you with insight into yourself and your life, search for it yourself!


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## keithp (Mar 13, 2007)

Macker said:


> OP, what was your initial thoughts and feelings about going to therapy the first time?


Hoping it would work or help me find a solution to my problems. I told myself this time I'm going to be completely honest about my feelings I had and tell the therapist what my goals are.

My family is half to blame. The therapist wanted a group discussion with me and them and they declined. I can't stand living with my parents they make my problems worse. But I don't have anywhere else to go. Instead of focusing on dealing with them I should be getting my life together but I don't have the freedom to do that so I get hurt in the end and it gets worse year after year. So therapy might have worked if my parents actually gave a damn about me.

To my disappointment I did not get any help to my problems and nothing in my life had a positive change. That's the worst part I have to face my problems every day and they are not good ones makes me feel like life is not worth it because most of it is bad each day can't say anyone would be happy with that.


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## newusernamethatdoesntexi (Jun 15, 2013)

brattiness73 said:


> Finally one psychiatrist mentioned that maybe we should check my b-12 levels, and my D3 levels, so we did. Found out that I was severely deficient in both, and they both can cause anxiety.
> 
> I am currently getting treatment for those, and started feeling better within a week of starting it. I am having less attacks, and less overall anxiety.


How did you get those blood tests done? Did you just ask your doctor? And also how did you solve them?


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## dizzyizzy919 (Aug 7, 2010)

The only thing therapy was to me was someone to vent to. I've been going to therapists (and I've seen a few different ones) for years. The last therapist I had was the best. He was good to talk to, but it really didn't make me feel any different in the long run. I stopped going though because my insurance recently changed, making it $50 per appointment. That is far too steep a price to just talk to someone for 45 minutes. So my last appointment was a month ago and I'm not planning on going back.


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## JohnCrichton1812 (Apr 13, 2013)

It's not helping me either.

I go to a psychologist for therapy, and and psychiatrist for meds. 

The psychologist is nice and all, I talk about my pathetic life it doesn't really help, and I see her again next week. 

I've been on Zoloft, Cymbatla, and now Celexa- which all do dick. I also have Xanax that I never have the opportunity to use (and the couple of times I did, it to, did dick).

What a waste of time and money. **** me.


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

My therapy isn't working either... I wanna try psychoanalysis but I don't know if even that will help.


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## LoungeFly (Jun 25, 2011)

yukikodunkzone said:


> How did you get those blood tests done? Did you just ask your doctor? And also how did you solve them?


Interested in this too. Maybe I'll mention it to my general doctor next month


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## max87 (Aug 7, 2010)

I went to a CBT but the guy was an ***. He really thought i just needed to do excersie and go out like every weekend and socialize more. 
I don't think he understood what was going on. 
He pretty much gave up on me easily and i just don't wanna go with him anymore. He told the last time i saw him that in two or three more sessions i would be ready to go. 
I am not feeling well at all with my anxiety and he thiks i am just not trying enough. 
Because of it, i am terrified of facing him and telling him his methos aren't working for me.


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## H8PPLNDGS (Mar 15, 2013)

Especially when mental illness still has a huge stigma, therapy would be a waste of time for some to many people.
It can actually makes things worse for some. There are still so many people that will never admit to needing some form of therapy or going to one.
What would be more embarrassing to tell others that you have a physio or psycho therapy session the next day? 
People think there is more hope and encouragement to recovery from a physical injury (no matter how permanent) than a mental illness where they think you are doomed and might stay away from you.
Besides the very few to almost none would have gone into psychiatry or psychology because they had suffered at least one disorder, most cannot truly help you go through it but just judge and experiment with you just to get ahead in their careers. 
Also if people are unlucky and forced to have a psychiatric evaluation when either the person is not ready or been caught up into an unfortunate circumstance it can cause some trauma. If someone is very unlucky there is the possibility of feeling or being mentally assaulted or raped. 
People do treat you differently if you are suspected of possibly having any mental disorder and very belittled despite the usual generic advice and medications given. 
Also some people even fear going to therapy as it could impact their career or getting a good job if they need access to your medical records.


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## Slytherclaw (Jul 16, 2011)

I've probably seen 4 different therapists and none of them helped much. The extent of the help I got came from the fact that I had someone to talk to. Some of them were idiots, like the lady who told me klonopin was to be taken on a regular basis and it took a month to get into your system, and then told me I didn't have a certain disorder because she knows the "vibe" from people with that disorder...most unprofessional therapist ever. The rest of them seemed to only know stupid little tricks and breathing exercises. I help myself better than they can help me, unfortunately.


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## miminka (May 10, 2009)

Downtheroad said:


> Therapy didnt help me at all. *When I went I was never comfortable with venting to someone else and I tried many different therapists etc. I always thought about how they were getting paid and theres no real concern or whatever to actually help me because they get paid regardless if I tell them anything or not.* But at the same time I didnt want to waste their time so I would just tell them very general things and stopped going after a while.


yeah, it was the same for me. i couldn't get past the superficiality of it. i didn't like having to devote alloted time to talking about myself and my problems, there were so many appointments where i felt like i just had nothing to say, either because i was in a good mood and bored of being there, or couldn't relate to my problems anymore. that's the difficulty with the type of anxiety and depression i experience- they're cyclical, reoccuring, so sometimes thereapy is more productive than other time depending on what phase of my depression i'm experiencing.

and i didn't like sitting in their bleak offices, having to stare at their pictures of their kids or their dog or something. i felt so insignificant. the whole thing felt so transparent to me. it was ultimately nasueating.


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