# Do you want to have kids?



## Siman89 (Dec 24, 2012)

I decided when I was about 11 that I never want kids and my experiences have just reinforced this view. Firstly I don't think I'll ever been in a position financially to adequately provide for them and that's just unfair on them. Secondly it's so much responsibility and commitment. There's no way out. Something that makes me feel happy is that if things get too **** in life for me I can take the easy way out and there's going to be no one relying upon me that my death would affect. If you're suicidal but have kids it must tare you apart. And thirdly I wouldn't want them inheriting my genes and ending up like me. But on the flipside, as pathetic as it sounds, I think if I married a normal sociable woman and they became like her and had an enjoyable normal life, I'd be bitter and jealous, and there's nothing more pathetic than being bitter, resentful and jealous of your own child.


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## Mithun (Sep 25, 2008)

I want to have kids when I feel comfortable and satisfied with my own life first.

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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

No. The most ethical thing I'll ever in my entire life do is disregard any instinct to procreate. It's not even got anything to do with my particulars, creating a child just adds more misery to the world. Misery to the child, and misery to everyone else through overpopulation.


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## Q003 (Jun 24, 2015)

I've never wanted children.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

No, I hate children with a passion.


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## Dark Jewel (Jul 18, 2014)

Barring a scientific advancement I won't be able to have any of my own.


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## CookieCrumble (Oct 26, 2012)

I never wanted kids, until my boyfriend mentioned it some time ago. I started thinking about it and I maybe want 2 or still none. I'm still scared I'll be a bad mother or they will end up with the same problems I had.


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## Unforgiven17 (Apr 15, 2016)

It does sound like you shouldn't have children.

I didn't want them when I was younger, but I met someone, got married and my views changed. I have always worked with children, i love it. They give me a new perspective on life, they are not old and cynical like us! I always have a story to tell when I come home from work.

I would have loved to foster (I come into contact with looked after children in my job and always believed I could make a difference). My husband wanted his own though, I have made him promise he will reconsider fostering when ours are grown up.

I have a 5 month old and its life changing but amazing. One smile makes me feel like I can take on the world. But I agree, if you have any doubts then you shouldn't My childhood was dire. But for me it reinforced that I _*would*_ be a good parent. I know what not to do, and I know I can give a child everything they need. I cant imagine being old and retired and not having a family. That would be the saddest thing in the world to me.


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## LemonBones (Sep 25, 2015)

No point. humanity is a ****ing disease


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## Tymes Rhymes (May 28, 2014)

No. No desire to have kids.

Obviously there is that thought that my family lineage will now die with me but this world is far too cruel to bring an innocent life into.

Too many people are having kids because they fall slave to their biological impulses. They don't think it through and then life's hardships are exacerbated under the veil of having kids.

It is natural, for males especially, in the animal kingdom to want to fornicate with as many females as possible and grow their family tree so to say but with us humans and our capitalistic society, that is not responsible. If we used our brains and only procreated when necessary or have the smartest among us having kids, society would be better off.

Instead, as I said before, most people fall slave to their biology and have kids for fickle reasons such as simply "wanting kids" or " to have something to love" and "just because".

So no, I don't want kids. Could that change in the future? Sure but it would take more thought than most people are willing to apply to the situation which would make it difficult to find a willing woman.


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## shyguy07 (Mar 22, 2015)

I have wanted to have children at times, but I understand the huge responsibility it is to provide and care for them. I would not want them to have the same traits I have, I would prefer them to be more confident and outgoing for their lives to be better. I feel their mother would have to be very strong in those areas for it to ever work.


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## vsaxena (Apr 17, 2015)

Yes.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

probably not, but things can change and I could change.

for now, I could not financially provide for them and I value my own freedom.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

i used to have nightmares i was pregnant, but i don't know. i might want them if i was w/ a guy i really loved or something.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

No. Never have. Never will. (Not like I have much time left to ponder the idea anyway.)

I'm horrible with kids, they terrify me. They stare and they demand your attention and they have no tact--all huge triggers for my SA.

They're disgusting with all their bodily excretions and messes (I have lots of contamination/"germ" fears), and frustrating with all their screaming and tantrums--I don't hate them for this (I mean, they're kids, this is what they do), these are just things I cannot tolerate.

I wouldn't be able to provide for one financially or emotionally, considering my own numerous issues--I'm still emotionally a child, myself.

I'm not sure how much longer I'll be alive, for reasons I won't go into. Wouldn't be fair to leave the kid all alone.

I could never afford the hospital procedures/stays and raising the kid and everything else. I'm on Medicaid and SSI (and the latter is getting reviewed  ).

I have some health problems that would make getting pregnant very bothersome (for example, my bladder is already almost nonfunctional, and I've heard horror stories about what happens to the bladder during pregnancy). I'm being treated for some of these issues and may require drastic surgical intervention--can't afford to get pregnant now.

There's also the possibility I could pass on such health issues to children (for example, thyroid problems run in my family--my maternal grandmother and aunt(s) had it, my mother has it, my brother has it, now I have it). I don't buy into the whole "bad genes" argument, however; I seem to be the only one in my family who turned out like this--my kid developing SA due to bad genetics is *not* one of the driving reasons behind me not wanting kids, since my SA isn't genetic. I'm the only one who's messed up--though I could very well mess up the kid through bad parenting.

I have awful temper problems, and a very low tolerance for frustration (I tend to scream/sob and hit myself/other things when I get angry), so I fear that I would become abusive toward children. 

Oh my God, with my problems sleeping, can you imagine being awakened multiple times a night by the crying...? Unbearable.

Plus it's not like I'd ever be in a position to get pregnant even if I wanted to, unless I were raped. (Which, obviously, I pray does not happen.) Too ugly and anxious for a boyfriend, not interested in sex, etc.

...There's a stupid part of me that feels sad I'll never be able to do this thing which would make my parents proud, since I've never done anything to make them proud. Not that I ever want to have a kid _in the least_, it's just that it's yet another thing on the long list of my life's failures.

What makes it even stupider when I think about this is that I always forget my age--39. My so-called biological clock (which has apparently never worked to begin with) should be just about ready to wind down. Having kids at my age would be risky. This thought always startles me--I'm really THAT old? But then I realize, yes, I am. And so it's really stupid for me to even think about having kids, no matter how much I don't want them. It's not like it'd ever happen anyway.


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## In Correct (Apr 22, 2016)

*Yes:*



Siman89 said:


> I decided when I was about 11 that I never want kids and my experiences have just reinforced this view. Firstly I don't think I'll ever been in a position financially to adequately provide for them and that's just unfair on them. Secondly it's so much responsibility and commitment. There's no way out. Something that makes me feel happy is that if things get too **** in life for me I can take the easy way out and there's going to be no one relying upon me that my death would affect. If you're suicidal but have kids it must tare you apart. And thirdly *I wouldn't want them inheriting my genes and ending up like me.* But on the flipside, as pathetic as it sounds, I think if I married a normal sociable woman and they became like her and had an enjoyable normal life, I'd be bitter and jealous, and there's nothing more pathetic than being bitter, resentful and jealous of your own child.


I would love to adopt Black Orphans or Black Stepchildren. None of my own as I have health problems.

Also a lot of suicidal people literally stay alive just to raise their kids.


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## AFoundLady (Feb 8, 2013)

Yep, I love kids and I feel pretty maternal these days lol. Hope to have about 2/3 kids when I am older and financially stable and settled in life. I think I'll make a good mom someday. One thing that I have learned from life is that the environment kids grow up in nurtures them up to be who they grow up to be as people. I am grateful that I grew up to be okay and I do not want them to go through what I had to and I want them to have what I didn't have.


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## londonguy202 (Jan 10, 2014)

Would love to have kids being nearly 30 and over the hill so to speak. but having considered financial and other considerations i just feel kids will do nothing but drain the money but of course my parents want them as they complain where are the grankids


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## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

Have never wanted children. I grew up fearful of my strict parents and I have never recovered from that. No way do I want to inflict the same on my child. Plus procreation is selfish and wrong.

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## nujabes23 (Nov 12, 2015)

The world is too to cruel for a kid so no i woudn't want one. Never i'd be fine with just my dogs


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

tehuti88 said:


> No. Never have. Never will. (Not like I have much time left to ponder the idea anyway.)


What about step-parenting?

While I feel terrible about not giving my mom and dad their own biological grandchildren (and though my sister didn't/isn't going to come through with her own), I cannot chance passing along the problems I have. I don't think I will ever have my own kids.

I'd be somewhat open to adopting (though I have a strong aversion to infants, and I'm not sure if a history of mental health treatment would disqualify), and I'd definitely be open to step-parenting (probably my only realistic option).

"Want" is a strong word, but I'd be open to it.


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## Perspicacious (Jun 28, 2015)

No. Not in the next 40 years if not ever. Heh, it's going to be a shock to my family, to my "people." Keeping bloodlines running is sacred to them.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Just Lurking said:


> What about step-parenting?


All my other issues rule that out.

I would do nothing but ruin a child...I'm just too broken (and broke). I hate the thought of how avoidant and fearful and distrusting I'd make it, and especially the thought that if I got frustrated enough I might scream at it or even hit it.  That's how I react to most other things that frustrate me. It would be like a child raising a child.

I honestly believe I'd be abusive in some way or another. No child deserves that.


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## awkwardvoyager (May 9, 2016)

I said when I was 13 that I didn't want kids. My mom's initial response was "Good. If you're the slightest bit unsure, don't have any." However this seems to have changed as I get older and am more firm in that belief. People always tell me things like "you'll change your mind" or "you just haven't found the right person yet" or "you won't know real love until you hold your child in your arms". No one ever stops to ask why. If they did, I would tell them why and they would understand my choice - key word, MY choice. Especially for women, the belief that we are meant to have kids and large families is so present that it's ridiculous. If you don't want kids, that's your business. If you do want kids, that's your business. If you don't want kids now but change your mind later or vice versa, that is your business. Don't let other people dictate your opinion, especially for something so potentially life-altering.


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## boas (Jun 9, 2013)

Good to see most people in this thread talking sense. Had to block one or two of you though.


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## chaosherz (May 15, 2011)

It is a bit sad to see so much negativity in this thread and basically everyone saying no. Just because you have had SA and other mentall illnesses, doesn't mean your children automatically would or that you would be a bad parent.

Think of the countless billions of ****ed up people who have had kids over the history of mankind. There have been way, way, way worse parents in the world who have passed on even more **** to their kid than any SAers could.

People here are basically saying "I don't want to have kids coz I will pass on SA to them and they will be as ****ed up as I am"... How about thinking "What a great parent I will be because I will raise my child to be a kind, decent, thoughtful person who will be open-minded and treat people well and not be a idiotic, selfish bully because they know how damaging that can be to a person's self-esteem and wellbeing."

I know that sounds really cliched and sentimental but really, us SAers have a right to bring children into the world just like the countless other ****ed up people in the world have done and will always do. I want nothing more to have kids one day and to raise them right and I will prove to myself that just because I have SA doesn't mean I can't be a great parent.


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## AFoundLady (Feb 8, 2013)

I wanted to before. But at this stage, **** no. Any kid of mine is going to suffer having a ****ed up mother like me and my screwed up genes filled with depression and anxiety issues. I don't want to ruin my kids' lives even though I'd love to be a mom someday. so nope. Not interested in ever having kids.


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## NoDak81 (Oct 26, 2015)

There's a slim chance I would have kids, but highly unlikely.


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## pmahones (Mar 1, 2015)

Okay.. First things first.. If you are going to have kids you need to be in a position to provide for them financially otherwise you should not even be considering it. To say you are NEVER going to be in the position to provide for children is ridiculous because you are just putting yourself down, but that is a reason why you shouldn't have kids right now (which is not an issue). Personally I want to have kids, but I also want to have a kid with the right person. I have nephews which I get a long with well and would love to have my own at some point. I want to share the things I've learned with someone who I know will listen (atleast for a while...)


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## 2Milk (Oct 29, 2014)

no, I'm not genetically fit to reproduce.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I don't think that's biologically possible.


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

I don't think it would be fair for me to have children. I'm anxious in public places, so I'd struggle with taking them out and meeting up with other parents, or traveling abroad, which would make them miss out on a load of happy memories. It'd be selfish because my childhood was great and my parents were always getting me involved in things. 

It'd also depend on me getting my life sorted financially and romantically before my biological 'clock' stops ticking. Considering how awkward I am, I can't really see myself getting to that stage with someone before then and wanting kids. 

I'm speaking in futuristic terms though. I'm not even a maternal person- babies scare me and toddlers annoy me. That stance might change, but I can't see it happening any time soon.


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## DespairSenpai (Jan 19, 2016)

No, I hate kids. I would rather live in a house with 10,000 angry bees than live with 1 child.


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## Friendonkey (May 13, 2016)

I'd like to someday, maybe.

It depends on what my partner wants though.

If he wants kids, I'll be for it.

If he doesn't, I'll be ok with that too.


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## mike91 (Sep 23, 2012)

Charmander said:


> I don't think it would be fair for me to have children. I'm anxious in public places, so I'd struggle with taking them out and meeting up with other parents, or traveling abroad, which would make them miss out on a load of happy memories. It'd be selfish


This plus i wont be able to afford to look after them one thing i always said even as a kid i wont have children until i am financial stabile witch has not happened and cant see it happening any time soon 
Then the biggest step would be finding a girlfriend


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## Rickets (May 5, 2014)

No way, no how.

Wouldn't be able to provide financially, emotionally, or any other way. I would probably see them as an obstacle to my alone time. Getting up at ungodly hours just to change diapers(grosssss)/feed and getting no sleep. F#$% that cuz.

People's face at work when you tell them you don't want kids is always amusing.


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## MCHB (Jan 1, 2013)

Nope; no desire to have kids of my own. I do have to say though that I am quite content being an uncle! :3


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## Euripides (Sep 20, 2013)

Nope. I did have one in a dream, but it walked off a cliff.



MCHB said:


> I am quite content being an uncle! :3


Me too. The extravagant weird uncle that introduces them to cool stuff.

Otherwise, 1. I can't stand most children.
2. I'm not comfortable around children
3. I wouldn't be able to take care of children
4. I kind of want to live life for my own sake and with the one i love.
I've never had much of a childhood and my life is still hard and ****. I don't want to be someone who ends up "living their dreams through their children" or giving their off-spring "what they themselves never had". No. No, either I live or I'm nothing at all.


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## Puppet Master (Jan 1, 2012)

No way in hell. In my lifetime I experienced constant physical attacks and some cases of physical abuse. I've got about as much empathy as a a hitman when it comes to people and really see no value in kids. Add in all the issues I have and chances are I'd likely end up abandoning any kid I had without a second thought.


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## River In The Mountain (Jun 6, 2011)

Definitely not. Never have. I would probably adopt though, eventually, but the idea of actively creating another human just to extend some sense of self, or 'experience a love only parents can feel' just makes me feel..kind of numb/angry.
Boyfriend wants them, but only if they are biologically ours. I guess that leaves us at something of a stalemate. It will probably break us up :/


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## Zozulya (Mar 24, 2016)

Nope. 
Financial burden, coping with the current world, passing genes and (own) mental "diseases" are too much of an issue.
Only fit, both physically and mentally , and responsible people should be allowed to reproduce.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

As of now, I honestly cannot ever envision myself being in a situation where I can raise a child. It makes me a bit depressed that my family will often say in my face "someday when you have kids, you will understand..."


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

Blue Dino said:


> As of now, I honestly cannot ever envision myself being in a situation where I can raise a child. It makes me a bit depressed that my family will often say in my face "someday when you have kids, you will understand..."


Yes, with her.


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## Aleida (Jun 11, 2013)

I used to want to adopt children. But not anymore because I don't want to be a single parent (and not sure if they even let a single parent adopt? idk) and I cannot provide financially (another reason they'd not let me adopt).


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

Aleida said:


> I used to want to adopt children. But not anymore because I don't want to be a single parent (and not sure if they even let a single parent adopt? idk) and I cannot provide financially (another reason they'd not let me adopt).


Yes, with her.

****, I'm on fire!


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## Arbre (Mar 9, 2014)

Maybe one day. I doubt I ever will though.


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## RobinTurnaround (May 11, 2016)

I don't think I'd be able to take care of them well enough


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## animefreak (Jun 4, 2013)

I'm pretty positive that I will never in my life want to have kids. I never have so far. I really just think it would be unfair to the kids. I have bad genetics hence the mental problems, and I really should not take on the responsibility of taking care of people other than myself. I come from a poor family -- the reason why we are poor is all too personal to share here, but here's the thing. I don't care how well-off I ever become. Life is random and crap happens to people. If shxt happens to me, I do not want to put children through it.


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## OohSexyLady (Mar 7, 2016)

I do, but on my terms. I don't want to have kids if it means they or I have a ****ty life because of that decision


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## pocketbird (Jun 30, 2014)

I think I'd like to but I don't think I would be fit to have one.


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## Tiffiduliu (Jul 7, 2014)

Personally, I do not want to have kids.

Having kids is a lot of time and money spent.


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## GameAddict901 (May 23, 2016)

I want kids but not until I'm in my 30s. Hopefully by then we'll have a pretty good income. Plus that gives me more time to enjoy the things I like doing before I have a kid and have no life anymore.


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## Explorer5 (May 25, 2016)

No I don't, at least not anytime in the near future. I'm too busy trying to fill the gaps in my own childhood to want to be responsible for another person's.

Unfortunately, at 31 I'm already at the age where women my age are thinking about starting families. That's one of the reasons why I feel my romantic/sexual self is much younger than my actual age (in fact, at most half my actual age).


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## MisoGirl (Sep 3, 2015)

I don't think I want kids. I'm kind of awkward around babies and can't seem to hold them right. I also think that there are so many homeless/parentless children out there that if I ever did want a kid I would probably adopt instead. Part of my reason is I don't really want to do the thing that leads to becoming pregnant, nor do I want to experience pregnancy which sounds to me like a horrible experience. Another thing is that I have some pretty crappy issues with my anxiety and also some hereditary stomach issues that I wouldn't want to pass on to a kid. Lastly I'm not sure I could be a good parent. Other people don't really respect me because I'm easily overlooked so how can I get a child to listen to me? Kids are stubborn and a lot of work. I just don't think parenthood would be for me.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

No. I hate children. Instead, I am looking forward to the family of cats I shall be adopting eventually.


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## SuperSaiyanGod (Jan 21, 2014)

I definitely don't want kids. I just couldn't deal with the responsibility of raising another human being into adult hood. The financial needs, emotional needs, none of it. Besides, I would have absolutely nothing to teach a child, anyway.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

no, not really. yes, I'm terribly selfish and self oriented


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## aquariusrising (May 19, 2014)

As a woman I don't want to feel expected to have them. Just imagining how messed up my children would be. I can't handle stress I breakdown WITHOUT kids. Just looking at them gives me panic. Mother daughter relationships in my family like haven't been great. My mum and her other daughter, my mum and her mum, my grandma and her mother... Family relationships are not ideal in my family. Having me as a mother would be a CURSE.


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## Bigmo (May 28, 2013)

No way in a million years would I have kids.


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## Dreamwalker (Jul 16, 2016)

I'm never having kids. I'm probably no longer physically capable of having them anyway.

http://www.bustle.com/articles/6094...-childhood-and-theres-nothing-wrong-with-that


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## Cascades (Jan 16, 2013)

I couldn't wait to have kids and I used to be a big fan of them. Now, I still want them but they mostly annoy me. Two boys will do me just fine. I'm edging closer to 30 so to think in a few years I most likely will have one is kinda scary. I love my free time and I still feel like a teenager. :/


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

Part of me definitely wants to. The other part is ambivalent because there are So many bucket list things that I would like to do especially involving traveling. When you have children, naturally, their issues become the priority. I've got too many things I want to be able to do.


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## reliefseeker (Jul 21, 2010)

Mostly no. I wouldnt want them to suffer like me. And its also very expensive to raise a kid here anyway


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## 0blank0 (Sep 22, 2014)

I have one child (2 years old). Who wants to date me and love my child as their own?


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Patch said:


> I have one child (2 years old). Who wants to date me and love my child as their own?


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## 0blank0 (Sep 22, 2014)

Kevin001 said:


>


Awww Kev xD


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Patch said:


> Awww Kev xD


Don't you live in Alabama or something like that? That is quite the distance for me. Bummer.


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## 0blank0 (Sep 22, 2014)

Kevin001 said:


> Don't you live in Alabama or something like that? That is quite the distance for me. Bummer.


8 hour driiiive haha, yeah that's quite far.


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## StephCurry (Jan 11, 2016)

I already have 2


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Patch said:


> 8 hour driiiive haha, yeah that's quite far.


Actually less than that but still long af. Sigh. I would suggest I could fly but I'm too broke for that, lol.


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

Patch said:


> I have one child (2 years old). Who wants to date me and love my child as their own?


One of the women in my family had a boy to another man and then married one of the men in my family and had a girl. The boy is considered one of our family.

So it does happen.


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## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

The more I think about it the more I really don't. Messy house covered in dirty toys, the tv is constantly playing some annoying cartoons, and whenever your little angel doesn't get what they want you brace for a tantrum. God kill me. There have been times that I've been forced to be around young kids and they've been very respectful and mature... those times made me want them for a split second. But 99% of children are brats. It's too bad my husband loves any and all kids. He's a better person than me, I'm just way too selfish. My husband really wants to be a father. He wants to go back to school and get a better paying job so raising a kid will be easier. Idk what'll happen. Maybe I still won't want a kid and divorce will be the best option, maybe I'll change my mind for him.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

Kevin001 said:


> Actually less than that but still long af. Sigh. I would suggest I could fly but I'm too broke for that, lol.


Don't let a little thing like money stop you Kevin - there's always a way. (maybe a bus?)

I have one wonderful son but I wish I had about 5 kids.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

don said:


> Don't let a little thing like money stop you Kevin - there's always a way. (maybe a bus?)
> 
> I have one wonderful son but I wish I had about 5 kids.


Oh I wouldn't let anything stop me, lol. I don't think Felicsha considers me a real option anyways, lol.


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

Kevin001 said:


> Oh I wouldn't let anything stop me, lol. I don't think Felicsha considers me a real option anyways, lol.


Why not ask to find out?


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

ANX1 said:


> Why not ask to find out?


She is out of my league bro trust me. I would be down though.


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

Kevin001 said:


> She is out of my league bro trust me. I would be down though.


In what way is she out of your league?

Isn't that her decision?

You both connect personality wise. Can see that in your post's. 

You are both lovely people.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

ANX1 said:


> In what way is she out of your league?
> 
> Isn't that her decision?
> 
> ...


Hmm, I'll see.


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## pied vert (Jan 23, 2016)

The "cool" opinion these days seems to be that marriage sux and children should be avoided. I am kind of of this opinion too: I want to live with somebody and not get married (but probably marriage is practical in some ways... at the point of common law what's the point of refusing to get married, you might as well). I also don't want kids of my own b/c it fux up your body. I've been proud of this opinion because it is the 'modern way' etc. etc.

But I have a friend whose values are very dear to me, and his eyes light up at the thought of marriage and children with the one he loves. It's not a naive fantasy, I know him enough to know that. He wants the good with the bad, but anyway, he aims to have a very naturalistic life (often talks about living in the forest, the simple life, etc.) and sees marriage as the completion of that. You got your plot of land, carrots, and your wife. He loves women's bodies intimately for their raw beauty, he appreciates the grossness of pregnancy as beautiful and things. He told me that the initiation rite of Hell's Angels' that involves going down on your girlfriend when she's bleeding was not even an object to him, he thought it was pretty. When he talks about this stuff, it never sounds like a fetish. I find his feelings inspirational... I think I'm definitely more open to the idea now.


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

I would like to have kids.

Would I be a good father, husband, be in the position to do so and find someone to have them with. Not sure. 

Maybe it was never meant to be? :stu


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

Kevin001 said:


> Hmm, I'll see.


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## Alkalinity (Mar 10, 2013)

In a perfect world I'd have a son but I wouldn't want my kid to be exposed to how awful this world is. Plus I don't want to be one of those parents who has kids before dealing with their own mental problems. I grew up with ****ed up parents and I wouldn't want to unintentionally put any child through that because of my depression and laziness, fear of confrontation, etc. A good parent defends their child and nurtures, I can't even nurture or stand up for myself.


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## noydb (Jun 29, 2016)

I would love to have kids, but I will never bring any into this world until I am absolutely 100 percent certain I can provide everything they need. So it really isn't looking likely I will ever have any (especially since past a specific age I refuse to even consider children).


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## EmyMax (Sep 26, 2014)

Yes, I would really like to have kids, someday (girls, possibly ).
The only thing that stop me from make that happen, though, is the fact that I can't seem to find the right person to make that happen. And that's the reason why, to this day, i'm still single.
Being an Aquarius, sometimes, is just very hard. And that has definitely nothing to do with either SA or depression. 
We're just way too creative (sometimes bizzarre), too innovative, secretive, kind, serious and original for this selfish and cold world.
I would say that we're almost heavenly creatures, sent from a total different world. That's why, in wherever place we go, we always feel like we don't belong to this world, and we always want to change and innovate ANYTHING that we come across. And that's the reason why we're always misunderstood by others, and we're always in conflict with ourselves, and we always tend to "hide" and be secretive, whenever we feel threatened by judgements and/or opinions by others who can't understand us.
If you ever dated an Aqua boy/girl or you're one, yourself, you know what I mean.


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## societe anonyme (Dec 12, 2009)

As I sit here ruminating about almost being 40 and having watched this option slip away over the past few years, I think it'd be yeah (in theory), but nah (in practice).

I love the idea of having a kid to share life with, of having someone to pass stuff on to. It'd also help with my nagging feeling that I *should* be doing this (I know I disappointed my mum with my lack of relationships and kids, but when I expressed vague feelings towards someone, she was always dismissive...)

But in practice, I think I'd get irritated by the intrusion. The screaming, the feeding, the washing, the taking to school etc etc. I'd probably end up screwing them up.

(Mind you, I'd have to get into a relationship first, which has never happened. And of course, it'd have to be with a younger woman - say early-mid 30s - who was willing to put up with my eccentricities and also not want a massive social life. In other words, highly unlikely...)

As such, I will enjoy watching my nephew grow up, but I'll probably never be a parent myself...


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

Siman89 said:


> I decided when I was about 11 that I never want kids and my experiences have just reinforced this view. Firstly I don't think I'll ever been in a position financially to adequately provide for them and that's just unfair on them. Secondly it's so much responsibility and commitment. There's no way out. Something that makes me feel happy is that if things get too **** in life for me I can take the easy way out and there's going to be no one relying upon me that my death would affect. If you're suicidal but have kids it must tare you apart. And thirdly I wouldn't want them inheriting my genes and ending up like me. But on the flipside, as pathetic as it sounds, I think if I married a normal sociable woman and they became like her and had an enjoyable normal life, I'd be bitter and jealous, and there's nothing more pathetic than being bitter, resentful and jealous of your own child.


I decided the same when I was 4. Atheist. I felt a burden on fragmented, elderly parents.

I got the wrong mind. Scientific, proud I'd earn millions after school. 
Confident I was smarter than everyone else, especially parents & family

This all went upside-down in early career. I expected my intelligence to bring rewards. I ignored all silly advice from brothers' wives: look good, nice car

Never had any friendmaking skills or interests then but did develop.

Just seeing all known people of my age doing standard jobs, breeding

I wanted technical challenges - mathematical - earning my way with respect.
So lucky to get into loved jobs. Eventually left behind by girlfriends and employers. Tough social scale to climb. Got friends. nothing ever lasted long enough, at all.


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## ActuallyBrittany (Jun 30, 2016)

Nope. I don't have the patience, I'm selfish and prefer to take care of animals instead. There's no need to set up a college fund for them.


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## kesker (Mar 29, 2011)

always and forever.


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## FlowerLover (Jul 21, 2016)

I don't want kids.  I think they're cool, but they just aren't for me.


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## AFoundLady (Feb 8, 2013)

I love kids. Would love to have them, not till I'm at least in my late 20s and in a stable position in life..financially, romantically and mentally/emotionally. Also, that's if I have met the right one by then.


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## Symbolic Acts (Jul 30, 2016)

No. I have no quality to look after a child, i believe.


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## Rex87 (Jan 5, 2015)

I always been 60/40. 60% no, 40% yes. There may of been a time when I was younger I just outright said no! Don't want them. I mean I can barely deal with the grown humans lol. But yeah for the longest and it still is 60/40. I mean definitely do want them, Its just that it does take a lot! So much comes with raising your kids.

My gf has kids, 2 little girls. Their dad is a real piece of work(and is not in their life)and from we started talking, it was clear, she did want a real dad for those kids. Her kids are great! And I will gladly be their dad...though we aren't blood. The younger one, the 5 year old is definitely challenging though...she also told me that from the get go. Lol she wasn't lying there. My gf many times gets super stressed with them and unfortunately, just gives up and let them walk all over her. Should of seen what she(the 5 year old) did to us in Chuckie Cheese weeks ago...OMG, OMG again!!!!! And you know, it's just tantrum after tantrum, all the time! Yeah I won't have that, WE won't have that! She will listen and respect her mother....told her that already, number 1 rule! And she remembers, but..........She is 5, so yeah of course some of this comes with being at that age, keyword is SOME. And if this isn't addressed with now, she will grow up to be one spoiled brat...shutter to think what she would be as a teen.... I will be turning this already amazing little girl into a little angel. 

Will I have biological kids with my gf? Not sure yet. We both want to but she had terrible deliveries with these two. I don't need her dying on us trying to have our baby. Like I said before I will gladly raise these two like my own, they really are some amazing kids. We all love each other and they are all I need. If we are blessed with a son(I would love a son) or another daughter, or a both,a brother or another sister(or whatever combination) for them, then great! If not, it is just as great.


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## AbandonedAccount443 (Aug 3, 2016)

No. I don't like dealing with children in general, and unfortunately I don't believe I would ever be able to take care of my own kid. I can't even cope with my own anxiety.


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## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

Unforgiven17 said:


> It does sound like you shouldn't have children.
> 
> I didn't want them when I was younger, but I met someone, got married and my views changed. I have always worked with children, i love it. They give me a new perspective on life, they are not old and cynical like us! I always have a story to tell when I come home from work.
> 
> ...


This. A lot of us know what not to do from our own experience, and could end up being better parents than we imagine.


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

It depends in if I'm able to provide for my kids emotionally and physically. At this point, there's unfortunately not enough room in my heart to pour everything into taking care of a child and raising him/her to be a good person. I don't have that but should I have it, I wouldn't be closed to the idea.


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## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

societe anonyme said:


> As I sit
> 
> But in practice, I think I'd get irritated by the intrusion. The screaming, the feeding, the washing, the taking to school etc etc.


Doesn't last forever. They grow up. Perhaps, it helps us grow too.

Sitting on couch with 2yo, she just decided she wants to use me as a pillow while playing with the iPad mini. Sure, two-year-olds have their moments, but it's a lot of fun watching them grow and learn.


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## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

Alostgirl said:


> I love kids. Would love to have them, not till I'm at least in my late 20s and in a stable position in life..financially, romantically and mentally/emotionally. Also, that's if I have met the right one by then.


What happened with post 28? Rough day?


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## Fangirl96 (Apr 13, 2015)

I hate other peoples kids. They're gross, annoying and unpredictable. For some reason i do think i could like having my own though. Because of my hate of other kids, it's a fun idea to be a proper lion mom who other kids would think twice about before they hurt my kid. One stare and they'd run home to their mom crying, lol. Having your own kids is a golden opportunity to put that hate to use :evil

But the whole pregnancy thing terrifies me. I've had nightmares about being pregnant. Nightmares about having a baby and not understanding how take care of it. So i don't think it's gonna happen. And then theres the obvious forever alone and anxiety part.


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## NoEgo (Jul 5, 2016)

I used to want children, but as I get older, I find the idea of having children to be less and less of a viable option. First of all, I'd have to actually find a woman who wants me to get her pregnant. Second, I cannot stand children at all. I don't want to deal with the crying, pooping, peeing, screaming, and welfare of a baby. I also don't want to deal with trying to raise a child, which I'd probably f**k-up at some point, and they'd grow up to resent me. Maybe it's just my perspective, but many children are cruel, obnoxious a**holes regardless of their upbringing. A lot of people I know had awesome parents who seemed to do everything right, but they still raised a**hole children. Most importantly, I value my financial prosperity WAY more than being a dad. I'd much rather have a disposable income than having to make ends meet just because I wanted to pollute the Earth even further. Ever see a couple in their 40's or 50's who never had children? They usually lead awesome lives and travel because they don't have children weighing them down. I would've gotten a vasectomy, but urologists won't do it if you're under a certain age. Vasalgel's will be available in a few years, though. One injection, and you're shooting blanks for 10 years.

But what do I know? I've never had a kid before. Having a child causes both parents' brains to release endorphins when they're near it. That's why I don't trust parent's views on their children, because they're essentially high all the time.


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## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

NoEgo said:


> I would've gotten a vasectomy, but urologists won't do it if you're under a certain age. Vasalgel's will be available in a few years, though. One injection, and you're shooting blanks for 10 years.


I guess many here forget that all of us, at one time, were the crying, screaming, annoying somebody-else's-kid that gets the hate here.

Anyway - at your age, you will really restrict your opportunities, if you go through with this. It's easy to think you don't want them now and it won't be an issue, but those are permanent and/or long-term effects, and it's best to leave your options open because one day you might meet someone you want to stay with, and this could become a big issue.


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

No. I feel that there's already too many people having them and I also feel like I don't want to be like them. I could care less of their will and determination to compete with other people on what level of status they have. Some people don't want kids, and I would happily be one of them rather than conform to the majority. When I was younger and less intellectual - I did want to have them. I also wanted to have them when I found out my sister was having hers, a mere 3 years ago. It's gonna be hard to find some guy to be mine when he wants to have kids and I don't. Dude, I'd rather adopt.

Think of the benefits! I always think about it and feel like kids would weigh me down alot. I mean, just because I don't have any kids doesn't mean I am under that famous stereotype that I am considered immature and deserve the constant nag to grow up. There's no need for so many kids, I am so happy when my menstrual cycle comes every month.

I mean I am really fascinated by how beautiful a man is and how beautiful my kids would be with our DNA combined, I always think about that. Who knows, my future is limitless and boundless - anything could happen. Maybe I will have one, if I am really so deeply in love.

But it feels like it's part of society to be on the same level with everyone else to be considered normal and part of society. I've seen it on tv in Morocco where they're talking bad about some girl's brother being 22 and not yet married. I mean wow! Who cares man, maybe he doesn't want to get married, leave him alone. They have these strict rules that must be followed in every culture, and now it has become part of what determines our future for us and how people would like us to be so we can be more likable and accepted.
I don't want to have this constant stress put on me, let us be free and unchained from these false society conformity rules.

I don't want to feel like I am inferior to my siblings just because they already started having kids and have already gotten married. It's absurd. I am in no way inferior and considered less of a person if I am older than my sister and I am not already married and have a kid. This is the absurdness everyone in my situation feels, it's also a constant pressure on us when we feel like we have to be on the same level as everyone else or else we are negatively criticized by family, friends, and society.


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## NoEgo (Jul 5, 2016)

caveman8 said:


> I guess many here forget that all of us, at one time, were the crying, screaming, annoying somebody-else's-kid that gets the hate here.


Ah, the old, "How can you hate children if you were one yourself?" argument. I haven't forgotten, I know that all too well. As a kid, I didn't understand how much of an a**hole I was being to other people. As an adult, I see that, and I'm choosing to not add another loud, obnoxious being to this over-populated Earth. I'm doing the other adults of this world a favor.

I also had a phase where I listened pop music, it doesn't mean it reflects who I am now.


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## Zatch (Apr 28, 2013)

I don't know. For most of my life I've said hell no.

I don't think I'm fit to parent currently, so the answer by default is still hell no. Maybe once I get more child experience.


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## foxie911 (Aug 10, 2016)

I have a fear of not being a good mother or fear that I'm going to have a lose stomach .... fear of my husband abandoning me and my child...

:serious: i dont want to have kids, but I'm willing to make the sacrifice if thats what my future husband will want


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## FlowerLover (Jul 21, 2016)

I don't want kids. I like them but I will probably never have them.


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