# Why the f*** did nobody tell me?



## Rich19 (Aug 11, 2012)

So throgh school I believed that this horrible situation where I was picked on weekley would finish when school ended and all the popular kids would fall flat on their face unable to cope in the real world where I would prosper after studying hard in school and all I had to do was ignore them and concentrate on my studies.

Now four years after the end of school I have f****** social anxity and have huge f****** chasms in my social and academic knowledge because i could not concentrate in lessons. 

So the question stands why the f*** did nobody tell me? I refuse to beleive that neruscience was so backwards in the 2000's that nobody realised that exposing a developing child to such horrible verbal torture for the majority of their child would have no longterm implications. It's a bit like forcibly (in the uk it's compulsory to attend school and home schooling is not always possible) exposing someone to radiation and then walking away from any responsability when they develop cancer. The only diffrence here is that cancer is physical so the world would actualy care.

The other frustrating truth is that even in this decade nobody cares. let me introduce you to the factual wasteland that is "http://kidshealth.org/kid/grow/school_stuff/bullies.html" the 1st antibullying website i found aimed at what the kid can do personally to "fight" bullying.

1.we are given a sob story about bullies and how it's not really there fault. awww just makes me want to give my previous tormentors a big hug
2.The best wepon is advoidance which tbf is fine in an open space but 4 the majority of school your going to be confined to a class room or a playground. How the f*** do they expect you to avoid the situation when your confined to a chair???
3.Just ignore them. yes thats brilliant just stand there listening to there insults and even taking punches while you slowly develop social anxity
4. Do not fight back. This site has now discouraged the best course of action that could save the poor kid. Sure it may not prevent bullying but who is a bully going to pick on the kid that fight back or the kid that ignores him?
5.having a freind to help you when being bullied is great but the site neglects to tell you how hard it is to find someone willing to share your harrasment. I never found anyone like that.
6.Be brave and look confident. Does it mean brave by figting back? No it means brave by "Tell the bully "No! Stop it!" in a loud voice. Then walk away, or run if you have to"... WTF! after doing that everyone in the god damn school is going to for you!!!
7.Don't show emotions. Good your now well on your way to developing SA next step stutter and hide in your room all day!!!
8.Telling an adult is actualy a good choice. My only concern is that it only tells you that the bully will stop out of fear and not the other alternative where the bully retaliates by going out of there way to hurt you making the child even more misrabel and leaving them asking "Why the f*** di nobody tell me this could happen!!!"

To close with kidshealth tells us what happens to bullies. Does it go on about them working in dead end jobs for the rest of there misrabell lives or how they will later feel regret for what they have done? Nope! they are far more optomistic.
The bully will never gain respect from peers and power in the school and all there freinds will leave them thinking they are a loser. Wait kidshealth by bully did you mean...Victim? When i was bullied I lost my respect, power and freinds oh wait no i didn't bullying stopped me from getting those things in the 1st place!!!
But don't worry your damaged brain there is counselling and phycological health avaliable. Not for you silly for the bullies:b

In conclusion why the f*** di nobody tell me bullying would f*** up my mind? Why do you pretend my mental health problem is unpredictable and why is a majour site on bullying filled by a physiologists LSD fantasy?

Plz comment giving your opinion on bullying advice this took me a while to write


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## BigBlueMoon (Feb 7, 2013)

...Why would anybody have to tell you that being a victim of bullying would have long-lasting effects? I thought it was common knowledge.

Bullying and having Aspergers was what caused my depression and social anxiety.


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## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

BigBlueMoon said:


> ...Why would anybody have to tell you that being a victim of bullying would have long-lasting effects? I thought it was common knowledge.
> 
> Bullying and having Aspergers was what caused my depression and social anxiety.


I gotta agree with blue moon here. You can't expect a kid who was bullied for most of his life to turn out the same way as a non-bullied kid. If a kid doesn't grow up with esteem issues, he'll grow up disliking most people. Usually, it's a combination of both.


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

InfiniteBlaze said:


> I gotta agree with blue moon here. You can't expect a kid who was bullied for most of his life to turn out the same way as a non-bullied kid. If a kid doesn't grow up esteem issues, he'll grow up disliking most people. Usually, it's a combination of both.


Horrible and true. The bullying re-enforces certain behaviors and social cues that "normal" people are disgusted by, without hesitation or logical thinking. Really life in the "real world" just reflects the cruel and petty dynamics of high school.


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## Rich19 (Aug 11, 2012)

BigBlueMoon said:


> ...Why would anybody have to tell you that being a victim of bullying would have long-lasting effects? I thought it was common knowledge.
> 
> Bullying and having Aspergers was what caused my depression and social anxiety.


Common knowledge? I was not aware social anxity existed till a few years ago. I was definitely not aware of the long lasting effects of being bullied


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## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

Rich19 said:


> Common knowledge? I was not aware social anxity existed till a few years ago. I was definitely not aware of the long lasting effects of being bullied


I never knew what SA really was until I was about 17 but even before then I knew that being bullied can **** a kid's head up.


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## MilkyChocoxD (May 28, 2013)

I agree with you're first point. I especially hate when people say bullies are jealous, I don't believe that crap.

I wish I was taught to fight back though. When I was in elementary school my mom told me to just suck it up because there would always be someone who picks on me and now I can't stand up for myself.


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## Rich19 (Aug 11, 2012)

InfiniteBlaze said:


> I never knew what SA really was until I was about 17 but even before then I knew that being bullied can **** a kid's head up.


In the short run I was awre that bullying would screw up my mind, I could see it happening. What i didn't know was about the long term affects that can't be reversed. I knew at the time that extream circumstances could cause you to go insane like having your whole family murdered but bullying actualy seemed normal to me as it happened everyday. I could only see how wrong and sick it was in retrospect


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## MilkyChocoxD (May 28, 2013)

I don't know if SA can be reversed completely, but you can take small steps towards making it better. Though I do understand how difficult it is to do so.


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

Had somebody told you you'd develop SA after being bullied, how would the outcome have been any different? Plus, SA can have many causes. Can you be 100% sure it's the bullies' fault for your disorder? Could be purely genetic as well.

Otherwise, I agree that the website describing methods against bullies doesn't sound very useful. I've always avoided bullies, tried to ignore them, never fought back etc... that didn't make me gain any respect whatsoever! And the saying '_bullies are just going to end up as retards working minimum wage jobs_' is a joke. Badly educated delinquents will end up in this position, but these don't necessarily equal bullies.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Depends on how bad the bullying is. In my case, not reacting worked relatively well. Bullies get off on you being in distress, angry/sad. If they don't get that they lose interest.


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## chemengchick (Oct 7, 2013)

I find that bullies really do get off easy. They create so much long lasting turmoil but you're just supposed to ignore and accept that "kids will be kids". Most grow up and still have no remorse for it if they even remember it at all. It's like you lose twice(being bullied in school and then having to live with the ill effects) and they win twice(getting popularity off of your suffering and never being held accountable for it and then moving on in life footloose and fancy free.)


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## Rich19 (Aug 11, 2012)

Mr Bacon said:


> Had somebody told you you'd develop SA after being bullied, how would the outcome have been any different? Plus, SA can have many causes. Can you be 100% sure it's the bullies' fault for your disorder? Could be purely genetic as well.
> 
> Otherwise, I agree that the website describing methods against bullies doesn't sound very useful. I've always avoided bullies, tried to ignore them, never fought back etc... that didn't make me gain any respect whatsoever! And the saying '_bullies are just going to end up as retards working minimum wage jobs_' is a joke. Badly educated delinquents will end up in this position, but these don't necessarily equal bullies.


Yes if knew bullying was gng make me misrabell for the rest of my life not only the duration of school then i would have acted more drastically. 
No i can't be 100% sure but judging by what my fears are i'm certain it is atleast a factor in my SA development


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## BigBlueMoon (Feb 7, 2013)

chemengchick said:


> I find that bullies really do get off easy. They create so much long lasting turmoil but you're just supposed to ignore and accept that "kids will be kids". Most grow up and still have no remorse for it if they even remember it at all. It's like you lose twice(being bullied in school and then having to live with the ill effects) and they win twice(getting popularity off of your suffering and never being held accountable for it and then moving on in life footloose and fancy free.)


This x1000000.


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## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

chemengchick said:


> I find that bullies really do get off easy. They create so much long lasting turmoil but you're just supposed to ignore and accept that "kids will be kids". Most grow up and still have no remorse for it if they even remember it at all. It's like you lose twice(being bullied in school and then having to live with the ill effects) and they win twice(getting popularity off of your suffering and never being held accountable for it and then moving on in life footloose and fancy free.)


Damn straight.

Many bullies merely get slapped on the wrist. It's a shame.


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## SadnessAndDespair (Feb 16, 2016)

100% accurate op. The biggest lies I was told growing up were- "bullies are just jealous" and "just ignore them". Seriously the most useless **** I have ever ****ing heard.


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