# My pair of "talking to girls I think are cute" convos



## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Okies! I want to post a triumph-ette. This is my final anxiety really, talking to girls I fins impossibly cute. Now I know where it comes from - the fear I experience isn't just of rejection - its of actual physical harm. I know remember a number of situations from teens and later adulthood where showing interest in a girl has resulted in actual physical attacks - and so now when I go to talk to someone I like its not just rejection I’m afraid of - its being punched, assaulted or even GLASSED in the face (yup had that happen).

I now realise that most of these incidents happened because of very specific personality flaws I had but did not realise, and in many situations actually brought it on myself, but the first incidences were not my fault - I lived in a rough area with a lot of psychologically messed up people that liked to play physical power games, and so my "sex=violence" filter began pretty early. So, now I'm hypervigilant for anything bad when I like a girl. Add on top the teasing I got from my family if I liked a girl when I was little, coupled with the traumatic background I already had, and this filter got pretty damn strong. In recent times it has been again re-asserted - because my tendency to overcompensate for feeling anxious or inferior lead to my becoming arrogant and disingenuous. At the time I took these reactions as meaning I was defective or unlovable, but in fact it was the way I was ACTING because of the way I FELT that lead to my behaviours.

So - experiments were to talk to girls I like about normal things. No trying too hard, trying to impress or being 'smooth' - just trying to show genuine interest and find a little about them.

I have now done this twice! Once with the pretty blonde girl at the coffee shop, and today with a beautiful red haired girl who was studying PSYCHOLOGY ( :mushy ) in the same coffee shop. I just thought "I am going to ask her what she is studying" and so I did. It wasn’t like an electric convo or anything and I speed talked a bit, but overall she did not run away, throw things at me or call the police. She even started to talk to me about HER interests, but unfortunately I speed-talked through them :stu Oh well, practice makes perfect ...But overall anxiety was only about 3/10 and she was very high on my "oh hey, you're cute"-ometer!

Seems girls aren't quite as lethal as I thought :yay


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## GreyFox08 (Dec 22, 2007)

Great job! I know I'm definitely nervous talking to girls I think are attractive or cute, too. The one girl that I've liked for a while (and recently managed to talk to) is probably one of the cutest girls I've ever known of...although it was way more than her looks that made me interested in her. But yeah, holy cow am I nervous whenever I try to talk and look at her when talking...although I think I did a pretty good job when I have talked to her, and now I feel a little better knowing that it was probably OK that I've just made sort of small-talk, so far. I sometimes worry about stuff I didn't do or say during the school day, but I think I need to focus on the good stuff I did do, because then I'll just feel better about what I can do, and do it more.

It sounds like you're doing really well, keep it up. I'm hopefully going to be starting some of those exercises soon; I'm close to finishing Chapter 10 in the Overcoming Social Anxiety book.

:thanks


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Hurray! Thanks for the comments and update Grey, I had started to wonder where you had got to! :banana

Ross


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## LunatikPandora (May 10, 2005)

anonymous714 said:


> I can only talk to girls about normal crap.. if it comes to stuff like flirting or w/e I cringe up. Need to work on it a bit myself too.
> 
> And nice work Ross. Get the chick's phone number next time!


Yeah, I feel anxious of talking to girls beyond the boundaries of normal talk.

I feel like they'll think of me as a creep or something.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Its getting more and more comfortable. I think I just have to chat a bit more and keep the external focus, not start going inside my head! Keep it light and take my time. Insert THOUGHT inbetween words Rossie, and dont talk through the poor lass's replies :lol

Bless me. I'm such a romanticistic.

Ross


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

Nice, Ross.

My contact with women around my age is pretty limited. Basically it's limited to basic interaction in places of business (restaurants, grocery stores). 

I went to a place to pick up food a few months ago and had a very wacky interaction with a girl who was saying some really weird things. She was cradling my food in her arms, saying it was her baby. That was a mild surprise to hear, haha. Luckily, even when caught off-guard, I can usually come up with something to say (not always as witty as I'd like though). I think I said something about it being a delicious baby. 

Anyways, I like these updates, Ross.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

ardrum said:


> I went to a place to pick up food a few months ago and had a very wacky interaction with a girl who was saying some really weird things. She was cradling my food in her arms, saying it was her baby. That was a mild surprise to hear, haha. Luckily, even when caught off-guard, I can usually come up with something to say (not always as witty as I'd like though). I think I said something about it being a delicious baby.


 :rofl :lol :rofl :lol She sounds awesome! Just my type - Quirky! Delicious baby :clap .. were you buying M&M's? You attract the coolest people :eyes

Thanks dude, you just brightened my day :yes

Ross


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

It was a burrito. She said she needs to keep the baby warm and everything. :lol 

It was definitely an entertaining conversation, if brief.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

OMG - *SHE MICROWAVED YOUR BABY*????!!!!

BTW with our avatars I think we would make a good rock group. You have that punkrock thing going on


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

:evil "Rock on!"

:wife "Keep that noise down!"


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

A new supergroup emerges ...


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

:rofl :spit :rofl :lol 

We'd kick some major @$$!

EDIT:

Alternative names: The Panic Attack, Adrenaline Rush, Fight or Flight


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

I like The Panic Attack


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## Shauna The Dead (Jun 16, 2005)

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> A new supergroup emerges ...


 :boogie


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

YEah! I went for the 'mean and moody' shot!

Sean has the bass player look, ya think?


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## CoconutHolder (Oct 13, 2007)

:spit :lol 

That is great! :clap 

I'll be the band's NO. 1 obsessed fan!! :yes 

Wheeeee......... :banana


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

Ya wanna play tamborine or do the merch stand? Tour manage? I only need 12,000 rose petals to walk upon and fresh caviar in a Mickey Mouse mug EVERY DAY to not have an artist tantrum. Easy see?


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## CoconutHolder (Oct 13, 2007)

Hmm...I think I can be the driver. :b


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## yeah_yeah_yeah (Mar 27, 2007)

:rofl


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