# Bad habits, getting perspective, focusing outward



## guitarmatt (Aug 13, 2009)

I've had severe social and general anxiety for the past three years. What I'm finally able to realize are the bad habits fuel my disorder(s). I think its important to be able to recognize bad habits and then work to change them.

One of my bad habits was constantly dwelling on what was wrong, being far too focused on the problem rather than possible solutions. I would dwell on every little social interaction I had, and feel as if this social "failure" defined me. I would then use this site to look for sympathy every time anxiety caused a new "roadblock" or imaginary hump. In this way I was fueling the disorder. Instead of just putting the problem off as anxiety, I thought, "no, I have to post something to make sure I'm not the only one." This made each and every problem bigger than it was.

With SA, I think one of the worst habits is staying cooped up in one's room, spending too much time on the computer, or otherwise. It seems pointless or scary at first, but it really is important to get outside and just _be_. What I mean by that is, in a way, meditate in the moment. I;m saying this because one day of many I came home after school feeling defeated as usual. But what happened was I stopped myself in the moment; it was as if my thoughts were a train and I was riding them without realizing I could simply get off that train. I was used to just riding that train, and submitting to every bad habit I had. But that day, I just stopped them, went outside in my backyard, took up a lawnchair and just _sat_. I just sat, looked up at the sky, felt the sun on my limbs, listened to the sounds around me. As I watched a plane slowly make a trail in the sky, I suddenly had more perspective on my problems. I realized that really, I'm not so trapped after all.

Anxiety disorders in general make the sufferer feel trapped by their problems. The way the sufferer reacts (not their fault) to the problem is what makes it continue. What I did as a sufferer was break my daily routine of focusing inward on my problems and the behaviour that goes along with that. When I would normally be inside dwelling or feeling helpless, I decided to focus my attention outward. Anxiety makes you think that you have to constantly dwell on the problem. But by focusing attention outward, one can realize that the problems are only as big as anxiety falsely tells you.

Sorry for the long-ness, I just kinda had a breakthrough with my anxiety. Doesn't mean I'm cured, but I took out a large chunk of the wall anxiety placed around me.

And, sorry if this doesn't help. I just wanted to share my breakthrough of anxious thinking. CBT, exposure therapy, meds haven't worked on me, but changing my perspective definitely has.


----------



## Reclus (Jan 11, 2012)

Yeah, you nailed it with this post.

A lot of the problem is just being stuck in a mental loop. All you have to do is just let go, but it can be difficult to do. The more you ditch the mental baggage and live in the present rather than dwelling on the past or future, the more you can live life in a more relaxed way.


----------

