# Is sexism a problem at SAS?



## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

Well what do you think? I'd define sexism here as expressing/supporting ugly stereotypes about women (or men).

I think it's a problem here. It may be less of a problem here than elsewhere, but we're not elsewhere, so... 

My opinion is that it gets dealt with fairly effectively, but I understand some women feel otherwise, and I know them and I respect their opinions. While I may be concerned, it's not my ox getting gored, so maybe I don't see all there is to see.

If you think this is a problem and that it could be better dealt with, do you have any suggestions?


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## low (Sep 27, 2009)

Damn feminists always kicking up a fuss when they could be doing far more productive things such as baking in the kitchen.


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

Well they aren't talking about me I know. I visualize a type of person that they are talking about that has annoyed me also. And I think they are ranting and they know it too.
I don't like angry stereotypes though and think they should be reported


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## low (Sep 27, 2009)

That was a joke before anyone takes it seriously and I get written up by the way.


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## Lateralus (Oct 28, 2007)

I don't think it's a problem; _usually_ when I see it here it's from a guy who's built up anger at women for feeling rejected by them. I do mean usually. There are certainly other cases. Anyway those posts seem to get quickly removed and/or other members contribute more logical reasoning, so I don't think there is a problem.


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

low said:


> That was a joke before anyone takes it seriously and I get written up by the way.


It's a nasty joke, therefore it is not a joke.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

Lateralus said:


> I don't think it's a problem; _usually_ when I see it here it's from a guy who's built up anger at women for feeling rejected by them. I do mean usually. There are certainly other cases. Anyway those posts seem to get quickly removed and/or other members contribute more logical reasoning, so I don't think there is a problem.


I agree. I used to feel pretty bad, but not as angry. Eventually I learned that most of it was in my head. Some of the generalizations have some truth to them, such as women wanting money, etc., but I think we tend to naturally avoid things that we don't want to be around. They don't represent the majority. I try to avoid the company of people that are like this to begin with. I'm not looking to climb the ladder and be a big winner. I'm not hanging out at the nicer clubs, smelling of cologne, surrounded by dolled up women who may expect a little more out of me. My band is playing at the dive bar next door with three people watching.

I don't know if it's a problem, but it is quite noticeable at times. It's also understandable and it seems pretty difficult to be encouraging and positive. It's not so simple as "I have a girlfriend, you can too", but at the same time I think it's very easy to get oneself into a certain mindset and have that affect how things turn out for you in life. I don't know if it's just coincidence but once I seemed to have stopped caring about having a girlfriend _as_ much (not stopped altogether) and "worked up" a little self-esteem (not an insane, annoying, unhealthy amount), I had a girlfriend not long after. It may just be that I went right for it because I knew that it didn't hurt to try and I was so sick of being alone. Different things culminated. It may not be as easy for everyone, but relationships don't just happen to the highly confident, successful, go-getters. To some extent we're just human and we can't really help ourselves.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

Well,sort of,but it goes both ways.Not only men do this by the way.

I think it's annoying when thread after thread is posted where men and women are defined as a group where everyone likes the same and feels the same,while the truth is that we are individuals.Some people seem to take this more seriously than others,in the way that they have so much anger towards the opposite gender.

I think that if a statement is very offending(that is probably in the eye of the beholder though) it should be reported,but I don't think this is something that is particularly special for SAS.Sexism and stereotyping excist everywhere..


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## Madison_Rose (Feb 27, 2009)

Yes, it is a problem. I'm getting heartily sick of it, and I'm not the only one. The solution? Like I said in an earlier thread: ban the sexists. I'm not attacking men here, by the way, I'm attacking sexists.


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## izzy (Dec 18, 2009)

Men that resent women scare me.


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## sacred (May 25, 2009)

i dont care. the only time it would be a problem for me is if 1: i spent alot of time reading those threads which i dont or 2: if i was forced to spend time with these people in person in their little village world and that is something i never have to do either.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I just think there is bitterness. Some things should be left unsaid unti more thought is done. :stu


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

It doesn't have to be a problem if you don't make it a problem for yourself.
*
This is S.A. many of us here are not well versed in the art of* *proper social interaction* ..... ergo .. clumsy statements with a sarcastic hint of sexism are more likely ... even if the intention was not to be sexist at all.


In expressing frustrations over certain problems people occasionally post what can appear to be as sexist / racistst / ?ist statements.

It is just like the tendency to post remarks along the lines of "_If you have a partner, then WT* are you here ?_"

*
There once was a story about a young vampire who was told to avoid crosses. However after being told this .. he kept seeing crosses in every doorway, tile and window ... and then he blew up.*


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## letitrock (Jan 10, 2009)

no, sexism is NOT a problem at SAS.


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## Madison_Rose (Feb 27, 2009)

Oh, right, I was imagining it, it's all in my head. Nothing but an occasional social gaffe.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f32/anti-female-sentiment-88353/#post1352406


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

No way. I think all the girls here are sexy.


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

No, it's not a problem. Many forum members just over react.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Lateralus said:


> I don't think it's a problem; _usually_ when I see it here it's from a guy who's built up anger at women for feeling rejected by them. I do mean usually.


:yes When in reality, they're probably rejected by both sexes. To spare their egos, they have to devalue the other person, and what better way than to believe and promote stereotypes.

That said, I feel that most men here have enough common sense to realize their relationship problems have more to do with social skills and SA over gender. It's only a select, and very vocal few, that have given some the impression this board is misogynic, IMHO.


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## sabueed (May 8, 2008)

I don't think its a problem. People are just stating opinions. Its amazing how easily people get offended for comments that other people label as sexist. On this site, it is sexist to think that women have it easier than men when it comes to establishing a romantic relationship.


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## Madison_Rose (Feb 27, 2009)

Oh, for crying out loud. I give up.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

And then there are those who are merely ignorant, not necessarily misogynists.


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## Lateralus (Oct 28, 2007)

Neptunus said:


> :yes When in reality, they're probably rejected by both sexes. To spare their egos, they have to devalue the other person, and what better way than to believe and promote stereotypes.
> 
> That said, I feel that most men here have enough common sense to realize their relationship problems have more to do with social skills and SA over gender. It's only a select, and very vocal few, that have given some the impression this board is misogynist, IMHO.


Yes, well said.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

millenniumman75 said:


> I just think there is bitterness. Some things should be left unsaid unti more thought is done. :stu


Any ideas about things we can do to make people feel less bitter?


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## SilentLoner (Jan 30, 2006)

I don't think its a big problem at SAS in general, there may be an incident here and there but nothing you wouldn't run into in real life.



Invisible_girl said:


> Well,sort of,but it goes both ways.Not only men do this by the way.


Agree. The worst sexism I saw on this site was from a female member. She had the usual deluded ideas about life in the 1950's and on her "turn offs" list she actually had "career minded women" and "feminists." (she doesn't really post here anymore so yay for that).

But there are other female members who have done similar, unfortuantely.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Maybe we should accept that it just comes with the territory. We're on site where the majority of people haven't experienced a relationship, are extremely self conscious, and some can't handle rejection. So naturally, I think it's safe to assume that some of the members will develop a false perception with some tidbits of reality attached to strengthen their view about how the dating scene works with the opposite sex.


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## Squirrelevant (Jul 27, 2008)

Yes, I think it is a problem. It's hard to tell the extent of it though. There are definitely a few members that stand out in my mind who have a preoccupation with sexist ranting that often borders on the absurd.

Here's how I see the familiar statement about women with SA having it easier:
- As long as it is a general statement it retains some validity (although it may not be true). Saying _all _women have it easier would just be stupid.
- The statement is too simplistic. Usually I get the impression that it is referring to women generally having an easier time finding a relationship. Regardless of whether or not this is true, having a relationship is not synonymous with attaining happiness. The attitude behind it often (not always) discounts all other factors that contribute to happiness and well-being (e.g. whether the relationships are stable and healthy).
- As far as I can tell, there isn't any reliable, objective evidence to back it up. It is highly subjective.
- If it is a fact, then it is a *useless and mundane* one. It is not something that anyone needs to have repeated to them hundreds of times. They have it easier? Well that sucks. Get over it. I see no point in rambling on about it constantly and if someone chooses to do so, I find them spiteful and repulsive.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I feel like crap, because I negatively participated in that thread. I also repeated stereotypes that are *not universally true.*

I'm not going to repeat what I said, but I was feeling really down and angry yesterday, so I brought up those stereotypes. I normally don't feel that way. Normally, I feel optimistic, but it seemed like everything that could have possibly gone wrong was going wrong yesterday.

I don't resent or hate women. I resent that I'm a 27 year old virgin, and haven't had success with relationships, but that's mostly my own fault. After all, a shy, awkward guy with social anxiety isn't attractive to the majority of women out there, unless they have social anxiety themselves. That doesn't mean, however, that a shy, awkward guy with social anxiety is completely out of luck when it comes to relationships.

I feel like crap now.  I really wish I hadn't posted in that thread.


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

vicente said:


> Any ideas about things we can do to make people feel less bitter?


Have em stuff their face with candy if they can't say nothing nice.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

^ :lol Yeah, that'll sweeten 'em up!


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

And they can stick it where the sun don't shine too! I mean during the moonlight hours of course. yeah, that's the ticket.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

So who's buying the candy? I think the girls should since it's not a date, but I also think the guy should to be nice. Oh geez not again, lol. 

We'll split the cost. Yay, problem solved or is it..Dun dun dun


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

I prefer to go_ Dutch_ chocolate!


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## zookeeper (Jun 3, 2009)

Hands off the twizzlers! They're mine!!


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

Pfft, guys and their twizzlers!


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

Eating candy at the keyboard will ruin the keyboard and they won;t be able to type


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

I'll take the Sweet Tarts. The last time I tried them was about ten years ago, lol.


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

Hey have some chocolate stuff. Get your typing hands all brown now


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Ok, I edited my post so I won't think about it, hehe.


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

Okay I edited my post too


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## Ambivert (Jan 16, 2010)

VanDamMan said:


> No way. I think all the girls here are sexy.


^^everytime this guy posts, he wins the internet.


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## MindOverMood (Dec 12, 2009)

I love eating Skittles until my mouth gets sore from chewing


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

It doesn't seem like a problem to me. Some people around here are a little to sensitive and it's hard to say anything without ruffling their feathers.


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## wrongnumber (May 24, 2009)

I think so...just like it is everywhere. But I'm not bothered by it. I ignore and stay out of those threads. They are boring.


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

^I think the same way. Unless someone is verbally harrassing me to my face, it doesn't upset me. It is a problem here, but I tend to get bored reading someone ranting and I just read something else. However, I am willing to report.


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## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

I think the question is somewhat redundant and laughable. Censorship is the only way to combat unwanted ideals, but a gestapo clamp down is not a silver bullet, it's just a band aid. Censorship just sweeps smut under the rug, but for anyone who digs deep enough it's still there.

Perhaps I haven't earned the misogynist medals from everyone, but as a self proclaimed borderline woman hater, I can explain my own solution to halving the spread of my disease. Instead of using SAS as my only venting avenue, I visit other websites. These other support websites have less moderation and thus allow for off colored rants. This exterior outlet has starved off some of my need to rant here. And should I get angry I can always leave SAS, take a post crap elsewhere and then return here all nice and unconstipated. Therefore the only solution I see is sexists taking it on themselves to rant on less moderated support forums. There's no changing a true sexist though, we're mutants who will never see the light of day again.



SilentLoner said:


> Agree. The worst sexism I saw on this site was from a female member. She had the usual deluded ideas about life in the 1950's and on her "turn offs" list she actually had "career minded women" and "feminists." (she doesn't really post here anymore so yay for that).


My kinda gal, gimme her numba pretty please?


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

WintersTale said:


> I feel like crap, because I negatively participated in that thread. I also repeated stereotypes that are *not universally true.*
> 
> I'm not going to repeat what I said, but I was feeling really down and angry yesterday, so I brought up those stereotypes. I normally don't feel that way. Normally, I feel optimistic, but it seemed like everything that could have possibly gone wrong was going wrong yesterday.
> 
> ...


I have seen some sexism on this board, but not really much at all by comparison to the sexism you find on other boards.

What gets my goat is when people on this forum berate lonely guys who are in pain come on to this forum and post a thread in which he tries to understand women and/or change himself to make himself more attractive to a woman, who make generalizations about what most women seem to like to make himself more attractive to more women in hopes of having a relationship. When he makes those generalizations, there is sometimes an onslaught of insults, ridicule, and outright hatred from both men and women, which, in turn makes him feel bad about himself.

The above poster sounds like an example. He posts something in anger and frustration, and now feels terrible about himself as a result because he has been trained to believe that this makes him a bad person. Another poster was frustrated because he only got attention from women he wasn't physically attracted to, and was called "shallow." The worst part is _he began to believe that he was shallow and thought himself a bad person because of it_.

Is it so wrong to try to understand what most women want? Is it so wrong to try to make ourselves into someone more women might want? We come on this forum to find comfort and advice from people going through the same things we are. Why are we so quick to condemn one another?

Perhaps a compromise can be reached. Guys who want to talk about what most women seem to want could use the phrase "most women" instead of "women" to avoid generalizing, and those women who can't relate to a particular thread can simply hit the back button and move on?


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

low said:


> That was a joke before anyone takes it seriously and I get written up by the way.


I reported you *shakes flour dust from bare feet*


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

Well I feel violated!


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

pointy said:


> Yes, I think it is a problem. It's hard to tell the extent of it though. There are definitely a few members that stand out in my mind who have a preoccupation with sexist ranting that often borders on the absurd.
> 
> Here's how I see the familiar statement about women with SA having it easier:
> - As long as it is a general statement it retains some validity (although it may not be true). Saying _all _women have it easier would just be stupid.
> ...


....I - I like this.


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

^ Yes, a very good _point_ indeed!


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

There's chocolate here? someone said something about chocolate??

That's it, I have HAD it up to here! the guys ate it all didn't they?? who says it's not a man's world??


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

I'm a strong feminist, and I usually see sexism in a lot of things, but I don't see it too bad, or more bad at SAS then at other message boards or other places in the industrial world. If anything, SAS males have a bit of an excuse because of what I perceive as some sexual frustration that not everyone has to deal with. Not saying that stalking female members is ever okay, or anything like that, but comments here and there that aren't too vulgar or offensive don't bother me. 

I at least haven't seen anything too outrageous thus far. I've been here for about a month or two????

Btw, I'm really, REALLY high right now, but I must say that paragraph is perfect


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

ha ha - ^ well crafted!


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

I think that what these men (and women for that matter) need to do is to work on their self esteem,anxiety,thoughts and whatever because all that is not making things easier for anyone.I think blaming women(or men) for them never being in a relationship is a way of pushing away all of their problems and blaming things on other people.
It's the same if I was to blame other people for me not having friends,saying that everyone else was idiots or something,but the truth is because of SA I do things and avoid situations which isn't going the making friends part any easier.
I could also sit around reduce men to idiots who only like dumb women with big tits and blonde hair since that is the image that we are presented with,but I know that it isn't true.
So,I don't think reducing women to greedy and evil who only fall for bad boys is going to make anything any easier for you.
There are various types of women and men out there.Some are idiots who are superficial and who fit all the stereotypes while other women and men are different.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

...or else just stuff their faces with chocolate 
Helps me when I'm feeling down


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## Madison_Rose (Feb 27, 2009)

drealm said:


> My kinda gal, gimme her numba pretty please?


She got married. What a b****, eh?


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

Dark Chocolate for me


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## SilentLoner (Jan 30, 2006)

drealm said:


> My kinda gal, gimme her numba pretty please?


Not on the boards anymore, ha. And yeah I think she did get married.

No accident your avatar is a neanderthal, is it?


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

WintersTale said:


> I feel like crap, because I negatively participated in that thread. I also repeated stereotypes that are *not universally true.*
> 
> I'm not going to repeat what I said, but I was feeling really down and angry yesterday, so I brought up those stereotypes. I normally don't feel that way. Normally, I feel optimistic, but it seemed like everything that could have possibly gone wrong was going wrong yesterday.
> 
> ...


:clap


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## Toad Licker (Nov 2, 2007)

I don't believe so but it seems we all pay attention to different aspects of a website so maybe I just haven't noticed it so much as others may have.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

LostInReverie said:


> :clap


yeah, I think it took great courage for Winter's tale to post that. I admire that.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

leonardess said:


> yeah, I think it took great courage for Winter's tale to post that. I admire that.


agreed and it backs up my point that dialogue is better (sometimes) than just shutting people down


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## march_hare (Jan 18, 2006)

Occasionally it is a problem. But it's a lot safer here than other places...


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

^ yes, I enjoy good debate as long as level heads are kept, however the very nature of the internet sometimes fosters the opposite - anonymity and so on. This is a forum on the internet, and while I do wish things could be different, I doubt that much could be done, except perhaps, maybe, to bring it out in the open like this, where one person has the intestinal fortitude to broach the subject in the first place, and then everyone can have their say.

At the very least, there is light shed on the topic and anyone reading who may have a predilection for such posting is made aware that everyone else is aware. Much like with racism and so on. 

It's at times like this that I bemoan the nature of forums, or the setup of them, or whatever, because this thread will be buried and forgotten, and the whole cycle will start again.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

Sexism is not a problem. We have plenty of it.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Only if people keep making threads about it!


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## izzy (Dec 18, 2009)

Futures said:


> It doesn't seem like a problem to me. *Some people around here are a little to sensitive* and it's hard to say anything without ruffling their feathers.


All of us here have social anxiety. A lot of us are going to be sensitive. That's a no brainer. But that doesn't make the sexism here any more trivial. It's easy to say that people are too sensitive and get offended at everything when it's not your gender, race, sexual orientation, etc. that's targeted.


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

low said:


> Damn feminists always kicking up a fuss when they could be doing far more productive things such as baking in the kitchen.


lmao


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)




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## MindOverMood (Dec 12, 2009)

^ **** just got REAL


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

I'm not taking this very seriously.

NO there is not a problem with sexism on this site. I see a lot more on cafeMOM (where there are ONLY women). I actually love this site because it made me realize that men really aren't pigs and actually do respect women. lol.


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

LOL classic. 

Haydsmom2007, thank you for that. I sometimes wonder if men are being bullied by the sexism card on this site.


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## izzy (Dec 18, 2009)

Haydsmom2007 said:


>


:roll


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## izzy (Dec 18, 2009)

Cerberus said:


> LOL classic.
> 
> Haydsmom2007, thank you for that. I sometimes wonder if men are being bullied by the sexism card on this site.


Aww poor guys. They just want the right make sexist remarks... :cry


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

Atticus said:


> Well what do you think? *I'd define sexism here as expressing/supporting ugly stereotypes* about women (or men).


Glad you defined it, because I was going to ask you exactly what you meant by "sexism". With your definition, I chose "Yes, sexism is a problem. I'm male."

And yes, I think it's mostly anti-female sexism.


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

izzy said:


> Aww poor guys. They just want the right make sexist remarks... :cry


Yea, because accusations of sexism are always, whether implied or stated, accurate, reasonable, and fair.


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## Rasputin_1 (Oct 27, 2008)

I can only speak for male on female sexism.... but i'll try to understand where it comes from. For this argument I am making the following assumption.

1) Relationship wise it is harder for a man with SA to find a woman then it is for a woman with SA to find a man. 

Ok, now without arguing that point I would say this. Most men who are deemed "sexists" on this site desperately want a relationship. They also obviously have SA, which inhibits them from approaching women. Humans require intimate contact to be happy. They see women in relationships with people they deem to be "jerks." They make the conclusion that women go for jerks. 

What they fail to realize (or more likely choose to ignore) is the fact that these "jerks" are the ones actually going out and approaching women. Many times they are not jerks at all, just confident guys. The "Sexist SA'er" rather then realize that the problem lies from within- blames women for going after *******s while leaving our hero (the SA'er) by himself. After years and years of this a hatred of women begins to manifest itself as a defense mechanism for self hatred. 

just my opinion from watching the boards, could all be wrong!


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

Rasputin_1 said:


> I can only speak for male on female sexism.... but i'll try to understand where it comes from. For this argument I am making the following assumption.
> 
> 1) Relationship wise it is harder for a man with SA to find a woman then it is for a woman with SA to find a man.
> 
> ...


sounds pretty accurate to me.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

Haydsmom: great, yet another stereotype.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

Rasputin, that seems pretty bang-on accurate.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

Cerberus said:


> Yea, because accusations of sexism are always, whether implied or stated, accurate, reasonable, and fair.


Some women do seem to have a very broad definition of what is sexist. That's human nature, and the harm in it is that it can distract from instances when sexism really is occurring by partially justifying a "here we go again" response.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

Haydsmom2007 said:


>


I'm not sure what your point is? Are you lampooning this or supporting it?


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I think it says a lot about the people saying something about it. :lol


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Rasputin_1 said:


> I can only speak for male on female sexism.... but i'll try to understand where it comes from. For this argument I am making the following assumption.
> 
> 1) Relationship wise it is harder for a man with SA to find a woman then it is for a woman with SA to find a man.
> 
> ...


If correct, that is easy to understand and even though it may not truly be sexism (meaning, the person truly does not feel women are inferior), it's still hurtful.

Imagine this:

Girl has social anxiety. She's plain in appearance and rarely speaks up. She can't seem to make any friends and is always overlooked by males. She's never been approached by a guy and therefore never been on a date. She stumbles upon this website and is elated to finally find people who understand her, who share her story. She reads many posts she can relate to and after time starts feeling like maybe for once in her life, she belongs.

Then she comes across one of the many posts on this forum that states with full confidence that females with SA have it much easier than males to form a relationship. She reads on to find many who support this claim and are bitter about it. She now feels ostracized from the group, as though the people here don't accept her as one of them, don't believe she suffers as much as they do.

Why? Because she's female.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

Yes sexism is a huge problem here, I can't read through a thread anymore without feeling violated one way or another:um


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## march_hare (Jan 18, 2006)

LostInReverie said:


> If correct, that is easy to understand and even though it may not truly be sexism (meaning, the person truly does not feel women are inferior), it's still hurtful.
> 
> Imagine this:
> 
> ...


Thank you


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

ahaha wow. Maybe my point was to lighten up and maybe laugh a little bit? I thought the picture was funny. What's the point in getting so worked up about it? There's little or no problem with sexism on this site.... I really just don't see a point in getting your panties in a twist over it. There are men and women alike out there who think it's the woman's job to stay home and be a homemaker. If that's the life they want to lead then let them. It makes them happy. If that's not you then just go on with your life and don't worry about people who, heaven forbid, think differently than you do.

Don't take life too seriously guys. You never make it out alive anyway.


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

Rasputin_1 said:


> I can only speak for male on female sexism.... but i'll try to understand where it comes from. For this argument I am making the following assumption.
> 
> 1) Relationship wise it is harder for a man with SA to find a woman then it is for a woman with SA to find a man.
> 
> ...


I can agree with that. Of course, I think the popular social imperative that men should be aggressive and women should be passive in initiating relationships is to blame for this then.

I think we're all going to feel ostracized from certain threads in one way or another.

A question for LostinReverie and those that agreed with her (out of sheer curiosity and only curiosity): Have you ever been in a relationship?


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

Haydsmom2007 said:


> ahaha wow. Maybe my point was to lighten up and maybe laugh a little bit? I thought the picture was funny. What's the point in getting so worked up about it?


I know the picture's just a joke (and I don't actually mind that you find it funny), but joking about people being ugly b*tches won't necessarily lighten up a conversation.

Some conversations aren't really in need of being lightened, I don't think. This one seems to be going pretty well, actually.


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

STKinTHEmud said:


> A question for LostinReverie and those that agreed with her (out of sheer curiosity and only curiosity): Have you ever been in a relationship?


I have had two long-term relationships and the whole process with getting to know each other wasen't an easy one.
The first couple of months(or even more than that) was hell with anxiety,doubt and severe shyness.I have severe trust issues as well so trusting and feeling comfortable around another person is the hardest thing I ever do.
I'm just trying to show people that all though someone with SA is or has been in a relationship it is always hard and I've pushed away people who I later thought that might have been interested in me.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

STKinTHEmud said:


> A question for LostinReverie and those that agreed with her (out of sheer curiosity and only curiosity): Have you ever been in a relationship?


No, that "imagine this" was entirely personal.


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## Rasputin_1 (Oct 27, 2008)

Thats why I listed it as an assumption.... really it was listed for the sake of me being able to make a point without having to argue about that point. But I think its pretty obvious and universally accepted that men hit on women the *majority *of the time.

Also one gender being better then another, is it sexism if its true? This is where I kind of have a problem. Men are better basketball players then girls, is that sexist? Is it sexist that men cant play in the WNBA? I dont know.....


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## zookeeper (Jun 3, 2009)

The results of the poll are very telling, non?


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## dazednconfused (Apr 16, 2010)

low said:


> Damn feminists always kicking up a fuss when they could be doing far more productive things such as baking in the kitchen.


ahahah


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

Haydsmom2007 said:


>


This picture is offensive, but I've seen it, and I'm used to that kind of mentality toward feminist ideology. If you're ugly, or less attractive you are basically stifled from expressing yourself because of this media painted portrayal of the bitter, ugly woman shrieking about feminism and burning her bra. From the minute you say the word feminism you are typecast as this character.

This perpetuated depiction of feminism and sexism is used to shut women up, and feel ashamed rather then stand up for themselves. If you really take a moment to think about it you should see what I mean.

(on a less academic note: the girl on the far left looks like a man- explain that??? lol, you know it's true)


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

If you think there is too much sexism, you take this place way too seriously. 


Its just a website.


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

VanDamMan said:


> If you think there is too much sexism, you take this place way too seriously.
> 
> Its just a website.


I don't think there is at SAS. I left a comment about my views on that on maybe page 2? But I don't think we have a real problem here. I'm more speaking about sexism outside this site.

Sorry, if that's confusing. I voted that sexism was NOT a problem at SAS.


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## EarthAmbient (Apr 6, 2010)

The Chicks here on SAS are ALL totally chillax and kewl!

The ones on the outside tho....

...Winter is a nice season in Montreal ^.^


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## izzy (Dec 18, 2009)

Haydsmom2007 said:


> ahaha wow. Maybe my point was to lighten up and maybe laugh a little bit? I thought the picture was funny. What's the point in getting so worked up about it? There's little or no problem with sexism on this site.... I really just don't see a point in getting your panties in a twist over it. *There are men and women alike out there who think it's the woman's job to stay home and be a homemaker.* If that's the life they want to lead then let them. It makes them happy. If that's not you then just go on with your life and don't worry about people who, heaven forbid, think differently than you do.
> 
> Don't take life too seriously guys. You never make it out alive anyway.


Of course it's fine if a woman wants to stay at home and take care of the children and/or home. But if people think it's _the woman's job_ to do this, this leaves little choice, and that's one of the many things feminists fight for -- a woman's right to choose.


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## Oneiros (Oct 18, 2009)

only in chat


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

I think it is often less ominous than it appears. Often,I think it just boils down to a lack of exposure to a particular group. There's a tendency when faced with a lack of experience to think only in terms of "the group" - as in - these people want this or that,think or behave only in this way,etc. In time,with conversations,relationships etc. that diminishes. A lot of it is just a lack of exposure and experience,combined with a great need to place blame somewhere. There are a lot of hurting people on this site with a great desire to keep the battle lines firmly drawn. Of all the negative emotions,anger is often preferred over sadness and pain.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

pita said:


> I know the picture's just a joke (and I don't actually mind that you find it funny), but joking about people being ugly b*tches won't necessarily lighten up a conversation.
> 
> Some conversations aren't really in need of being lightened, I don't think. This one seems to be going pretty well, actually.


Posting the picture wasn't necessary. What is the need to reinforce the stereotype of feminists? What the woman is protesting isn't even something to laugh off. She has a lot of courage to stand outside of a Hooters and most likely be mocked. Actually, the picture is very powerful. The "Sexism: Only ugly *****es complain about it" part only shows how ignorant people are.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

mcmuffinme said:


> This picture is offensive, but I've seen it, and I'm used to that kind of mentality toward feminist ideology. If you're ugly, or less attractive you are basically stifled from expressing yourself because of this media painted portrayal of the bitter, ugly woman shrieking about feminism and burning her bra. From the minute you say the word feminism you are typecast as this character.
> 
> This perpetuated depiction of feminism and sexism is used to shut women up, and feel ashamed rather then stand up for themselves. If you really take a moment to think about it you should see what I mean.


This.

(I hate it when people do that, but I'm going to try and pull if off)


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## VIncymon (Apr 16, 2009)

BeNice said:


> This.
> 
> (I hate it when people do that, but I'm going to try and pull if off)


Sigh ....

The thing about threads like this is that it forces you to focus on the negative. The first thing I typed in this thread was "_sexism exists on this website if you look for it_" ; allow me to rephrase -
"*sexism becomes more apparent the more you look for it*"

So is there sexism on this website ? Maybe .. but please try to refrain form the urge to *push the red button*

I.E. the red button represents looking for the sexism in every statement by every poster .. even in this very thread.

So please let's not crucify Haydsmom2007 for her sense of humour.


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

millenniumman75 said:


> I think it says a lot about the people saying something about it. :lol


:lol I would have to agree.


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## pariahgirl (Mar 26, 2008)

I don't really think it is a problem. A lot of the negative things said on this forum are caused by frustrations that have nothing to do with sexism. I think a lot of people who come here want support and it polarizes them if they vent and people attack them for their views. It just makes them more frustrated then they say something else and then that post gets further taken out of context, and so it goes on and on. 

Can't we just make esoteric posts about sea monkeys or whose played chubby bunny before. Something else anyone?


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

VIncymon said:


> So please let's not crucify Haydsmom2007 for her sense of humour.


I agree. Why should people struggling to overcome a mutual problem knowingly attack one another?


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

BeNice said:


> Posting the picture wasn't necessary. What is the need to reinforce the stereotype of feminists? What the woman is protesting isn't even something to laugh off. She has a lot of courage to stand outside of a Hooters and most likely be mocked. Actually, the picture is very powerful. The "Sexism: Only ugly *****es complain about it" part only shows how ignorant people are.


I agree with you on all those points, although my post might have suggested otherwise. I just really didn't want to go into my own feelings on the photo because I was afraid of being called overly sensitive. Yup, I'm a baby.

Does anyone else find it funny that the caption assumes that the Hooters girls aren't feminists?


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## drealm (Jul 7, 2009)

VIncymon said:


> Sigh ....
> 
> The thing about threads like this is that it forces you to focus on the negative. The first thing I typed in this thread was "_sexism exists on this website if you look for it_" ; allow me to rephrase -
> "*sexism becomes more apparent the more you look for it*"
> ...


You sir deserve a medal!

Oh and he forgot to add, if you press the red button too much it will eventually break.



WintersTale said:


> I couldn't even watch that all the way through. Do guys really think like that? :no
> 
> It makes me despair for my own gender. :|


I could probably see myself in that crowd. I don't say that out of pride, but rather to illustrate what a warped human being I've become.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

*Infractions have been given due to a blatant display of sexism. The Poll is now closed.*


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