# I really don't like being around my parents



## ingsoc3125 (Feb 14, 2013)

I recently graduated college. I'm hunting for work, so I'm living with my parents for the moment. I get along with both of them, but they don't really get along with each other. Neither of them like their jobs, they're basically just working to live. They don't exactly argue, but every night I feel like they're having some intense or heated discussion. Catching bits of their conversations makes me nervous and anxious, so I just end up hiding out in my room from them. It's mostly my dad's fault; nobody's perfect, but he can't deal with conflict in a constructive or pragmatic manner. He has a variety of other bad habits (poor eating habits, can't keep his things neat, always complaining, etc.) which drives my mom up the wall. So she's bummed out all the time. I feel bad for my mom, but I just don't like being around either one of them when they're both home. I don't like having to deal with other people's baggage. 

I know there's not much of a thesis to this post. I just want to scream at the top of my lungs. I'm seriously not enjoying having to live here any more.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Just try to be out the house as often as possible. Hopefully you won't have to stay there long.


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## Meggiepie (Jan 27, 2016)

My family has similar issues but it's not as bad now that my parents don't live with each other anymore. Back when they did though it was so bad. They were always arguing about something. Since they have started living in different areas so that my brothers could go to a better school their relationship has gotten a lot better. They still argue and bicker but at least it's not all the time. Anyway, just wanted to say I understand the feeling. Just do what you're doing and avoid them and don't listen to them when they get like that. Listen to some music with some headphones or leave the house.


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## lostinlife (Jun 2, 2010)

I feel like they just aren't very good adults. I frequently feel like I'm in the parental role and they're in the child role. Then they make me feel bad when I don't "help" them enough. Sometimes I just want to turn to them and say, "Sort your own **** out." I try to help people if I can but I know my anxiety and depression make me vulnerable to exploitation and I need to be better about setting boundaries. It's terrible for my mental health; I can barely take care of myself but I'm expected to take care of everyone else.


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## Pongowaffle (Jul 23, 2015)

I have a similar dynamic with my family. Unlike yours, mine rarely argue and get along great. Both of them are afraid of each other so they both try to please each other. I am uncomfortable around them out of fear that they will always bring up something they are upset with me about and confront me about it. But this is mainly with my mom. Sometimes my dad will confront me too softly probably when my mom asked him to help her out in pitching in a few words. So I always have a flight response whenever I am alone with them sitting still. Sit down dinner with them are the worse. I always have the urge to flee to a non-talking distance. If this isn't an option, I would keep trying to distract them by bringing up random topics that deflects their mind from me lol.


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## Vein (Mar 14, 2015)

Tell me about it, for me it's just father though honestly, actually he doesn't deserve the title I feel like I'm from a completely different planet from him. I really hate him, every time I see him I get this wretched feeling of destruction... and my face makes this gestures of disgust. 

I can't not criticize him in my mind whenever he's doing something ironically, because that's what he use to do to me until I cut him off verbally (so now we don't speak only live in the same house). I get so frustrated, for example I usually have to cook food earlier before he comes home otherwise he's bloody taking up the whole kitchen space for a long time... he even eats at the kitchen. There's a freakin' dining table for eating, can you like f***ing move out of the way so I can wash my dishes? 

I need to open the fridge and get plates from the pantry, can you read between the lines at all or are you only concerned with your own disgusting self that you can't sense other people at all...

Ughhhhhhhh 

It's so ironic, it's like reverse roles now tbh, both him and mother were ignorant parents as I was growing up and now they're backed away because I can get extremely passive aggressive and critical of them because they know they're wrong, but they can't do anything because they still want to "keep up appearances" with their friends by pretending the family is fine..

Ugh, I'm so pissed off I'm ranting about my own family on someone else's thread sigh. xD

I just feel so much hatred, I've succumbed. Well to be honest I just go with my feelings without repression (bar externalizing them really except for rare occasions).


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

That's a normal life process, the reason why everybody moves out. Can't imagine how we put up being raised by such crazy parents, and then we come to a certain point in our lives where we realize how crazy they are and just want them out of our lives.


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## LemonBones (Sep 25, 2015)

I don't solely blame parents but I relate since my family life was toxic. The constant stream of complaints, major fuel for depression in myself. I just moved for the first time at 26, I'm really angry at how late I am.


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## daisywillowlilyrose (Apr 17, 2016)

Same with me. When I am at home all I hear is everybody complaining about everything. But I always feel guilty when I try to ignore them. It's like I have a responsibility somewhere between all of them but I have no idea how to help them. I feel like a sponge most of the time, like I am the one who's to absorb and feel all of their pain and complains. And then at the end of the day, I am left with no to complain to but myself. Makes me feel even worse.


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