# Talked to another girl today that has a boyfriend..but



## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

But it was ok. Sure this is the fifth time this happened where the girl I was interested in has a boyfriend. At least I'm getting experience talking to girls. So what happened was I was just looking around the room while waiting for the late teacher. As I looked around I thought a particular girl looked back at me and smiled. I got a bit nervous and broke eye contact. A few moments and I looked back and sure enough, she was looking at me. We did this a few times. I started to wonder if she thought I was cute or something. So I thought I'd talk to her after class. However I chickened out, calling my friend and bull****ting with him instead of talking that girl. At that point it was last Thursday and the next time I had that class was (today) Tuesday so I told myself that I would talk to her then. I was a bit excited about it. 

So today I had that class again, and sat closer to where I thought she had sat last time. Although I couldn't find her in class. I was wondering if I forgot what she looked like. Eventually I found her, I don't know if she was there all the time and I overlooked her or she just came in. That said, it would be hard to miss her. She was freaking pretty! Ahhh! At this point I got a bit nervous. But I still went for eye contact. Sure enough, she looked at and smiled at me. Even waving. I waved and smiled back. We did this for a few minutes while waiting for the teacher. I think we looked at each other a few times during lecture. So I told myself I'd talk to her after class.

Class ends, and I get quite nervous. I clumsily put my notebook and pencil away. I saw her leave walking with a friend. That put some fear in me. I hesitated a bit and then set off. I caught up with her and tapped her shoulder and said hi! At that point she said bye to her friend. And then we talked while walking to our cars! We went over school, classes, etc. She said she had to pick up a book from the bookstore so we went and I waited a bit behind for her. Heh, at this point I checked her body out a bit and wow! Haha. We continued to our cars, talking about the weather, more classes, hobbies, vacation, and so on. We talked to the point where my throat was getting sore. But it was nice, we were laughing and smiling. 

We got to her car eventually and I asked for her number, saying I would call her Thursday. She responded, "What for?" 
"To go out."
"I have a boyfriend."
"oh." (damnit)

At this point I probably said "well OK," or something. I don't really remember. It's all fuzzy. She might have said something too, and that prompted me to mention that she kept looking at me in class. To which she said it was cause I looked nice. I probably said "oh, thanks." So we said bye. We had walked past my car while going to hers so she said she hoped my car wasn't that far away. I told her it wasn't. And that was it.


I couldn't believe it. I was bummed. I was so sure she was sending actual signals to me and it was so obvious, even to me! Further bumming me out is that this is the 5th girl that I wanted to go out with at school counting this and last semester. (Four girls last semester.) Can I really be that unlucky? At least I think it is getting easier for me to talk to girls.


----------



## AndyLT (Oct 8, 2007)

I didn't read it, but I congratulate you for trying.
Reject is a success too.


----------



## hiimnotcool (Apr 28, 2009)

Man, I don't really know. I think it sounds like you had a very good reason to think that she was interested in you. I mean, if a girl looked at me multiple times during class, smiled & waved, and then continued to talk with me for quite a long time I would probably assume the same thing. LOL I must say that you have major confidence to just ask for her number and TELL her that you guys would go out Thursday. I really commend you on that because it takes a lot of guts to bring yourself to get that far out of a comfort zone. There will be other girls this semester and hopefully it works out for you!


----------



## ferrellwolf (Jan 7, 2010)

Rejection is healthy, not only does it humble us, but it desensitizes us to future rejection as well. Depending on if you look back on this incident as a positive life experience, you'll be better prepared for the next time you try to ask a girl out. I applaud your efforts sir :clap


----------



## hiimnotcool (Apr 28, 2009)

ferrellwolf said:


> Rejection is healthy, not only does it humble us, but it desensitizes us to future rejection as well. Depending on if you look back on this incident as a positive life experience, you'll be better prepared for the next time you try to ask a girl out. I applaud your efforts sir :clap


I whole heartedly agree with this too. The more you get rejected the easier it is to approach girls in the future because you become a little less worried about it. I think 'expecting' rejection is a bad thing, but going into knowing that the worst that could happen is she could say 'No' is a very healthy thing. In the grand scheme of things getting rejected by a girl (or guy) is just not THAT big of a deal.


----------



## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

hiimnotcool said:


> LOL I must say that you have major confidence to just ask for her number and TELL her that you guys would go out Thursday. I really commend you on that because it takes a lot of guts to bring yourself to get that far out of a comfort zone.


Did it sound that way? I was thinking that I meant that I'd call her Thursday to plan for the next day.


----------



## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

Congrats on asking her out! Yeah, she was sending mixed signals, and it seems to me that it would be impossible for a girl to really expect anything after all that other than your showing interest in her. It sounds like you did everything right. The next one might turn out for the better.


----------



## 123456789 (Jan 12, 2010)

Way to go!
You've got guts.

She may have just been playing you anyway. Some people are like that (damn it!).
And if that's the case, you're lucky to be rid of her.


----------



## TyrosineKinase (Jan 20, 2010)

Great job, Qolselanu!

There was this girl I knew when I was in high school. I was so afraid to ask her out, but then I realized she had a boyfriend, so I sort of lost interest thinking that there wasn't any reason to try. We became friends and we were friends for about 5 years. Not close friends, but she would invite me to parties which were tough for me because of SA.

Little do you know, a year ago, she started talking to me a lot more out of the blue, talking to me about her problems and she eventually asked ME out, which is something I would have never been able to do because of SA. (Again, congrats for you having the guts to do it). We have been together for a year now and she is my first girlfriend (I had to wait 20 years before my first girlfriend!) ever and was the best thing that has ever happened to me. She brought me out of the deep depression I was in and helped me do the little everyday things that most people do without thinking that I had difficulty doing (like going to a restaurant, driving, talking on the phone, buying stuff).

So, there is still a lot of good that can come of this. Be a great friend, and if you still feel that way towards her, one day she may come seeking you out. StarryMessenger's correct, and it happened to me...

Just something that I personally experienced...

Regards


----------



## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

I'll be friendly towards her anyways. But I'm not gonna count on anything happening. I'll look elsewhere for now. Although what I really need to do is get a job.


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Well....
(1) you tried
(2) you did not pursue any further upon finding out she was attached.

Her loss. :boogie :boogie :boogie


----------



## gold132 (Mar 27, 2009)

maybe she just wants to be friends. Who knows in a few months she'll probably be finished with him..and sometimes girls say they have a boyfriend but their not in a serious relationship or anything just say hi to her every now and then 
don't just ignore her cos she's taken


----------



## arntk519 (Jun 24, 2009)

congrats. At least you tried. I remember in high school there were three guys I was interested in durring my senior year... two of them had girlfriends but I asked them to the prom anyway. The other one I asked one time if I could meet him for lunch... and then I freaked out and never met him. so...at least you're trying. You're getting more experienced. Congrats. I'm sure something will work out eventually.


----------



## Cedilla (Dec 25, 2009)

Sounds like she likes you, just because she is in a relationship does not mean she can't be attracted to other guys. Just that a social barrier has been set up to prevent you two from having a romantic relationship.

What I think the best coarse of action would be is for you to stay casual acquaintances. Say hi every now and then, but try not to become close friends with her. It sounds counter productive, but if you two were to become close friends then she became available, then it could get kinda awkward when you try to move the relationship to a more romantic nature. 

Its good that you are approaching girls, if you don't do it often enough you can lose your confidence to do it. Thats what happened to me, I used to could approach girls no problem, but since I kinda stopped doing it, I lost the nerve to do it unless everything just feels so right.


----------

