# Never had a girlfriend



## MapleLeaf (Nov 7, 2007)

:rain Is there someone like me? I never had a girlfriend. I am 28 now. Most of the times i just try to think: So i am going to end up an old bachelor and i don't mind.
But i do mind!


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## mjatte (Feb 10, 2007)

I'm 20, younger, but seem to be headed for the same situation as you...it sucks...


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## MapleLeaf (Nov 7, 2007)

Yes. It does. But 20 is very young. I think there is still hope for you


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## Dolphin (Mar 24, 2004)

I am 32, female, and never had a boyfriend.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

I've never had a girlfriend, either.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

same here 23


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## Stanley (May 11, 2007)

yup...


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

LostInReverie said:


> I've never had a girlfriend, either.


Have you had or do you have a bf?

Oh and I'd say 60+% of us guys have had no gf. 80% of those that have had a gf haven't had a relationship last.

Although it's hard to find much data on it whether you're 14 or 65 your chances of having a meaningful longterm relationship with sa is very slim. Not trying to crush anyone I just deeply believe that is the truth.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Don't make me laugh. It would have to involve an act of God for any man to take an interest in me.


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## Avilos (Jul 7, 2005)

I never had a girlfriend either. I am finally starting to notice women being attracted to me (I think at least) But have no idea what to do about it. I think its too late. I have no idea what they want. What they really want not some cliche. I have no idea what is expected of me or what the usual social conventions are. If I actually would ask someone out... They would shortly discover I am a dull loser with no future.... a real "Nowhere Man" like the Beatles song...


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Yes, it would take some kind of miracle to actually find myself in a relationship, let alone a good one...


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## Mr. SandMan (Aug 24, 2007)

20, and pretty much, no....i hung out with one girl for like a week and not **** happend lol....but yea, i suck wit girls, im sick of anxiety, i do want a relation**** though, but i always say "she dont wanna be with me, im always nervous"...and i swear, my hands and armpits, that makes me not want to talk to girls either...i figure no one would wanna be with someone whos hands are always sweatin....so i pretty much never say nothin.


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## Bad Religion (Dec 14, 2006)

I'll be 19 in a few days and I've never had a boyfriend. At the rate I'm going I'm pretty much counting on never having one. I can barely have a conversation with a random Target worker without getting nervous, I don't see how I could ever be comfortable in a relationship.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

Age 27 is a few months away for me and I've never been on a date. I'm a lost cause.


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## Stanley (May 11, 2007)

Futures said:


> I'm a lost cause.


We all are...


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

I'm 23 and like some of us here, I have never been on a date. Please don't tell me I'm young either. When it comes to dating, I've missed out on about 10 years. Even if being as young as 13 is nothing but puppy love, it's still an introduction into the dating world and growing up. 

Once you hit 20 and have never had a date, it's like you're taken out of the "aww that's cute, you're shy" social category and placed into the "wtf is wrong with you" social category.


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## mjatte (Feb 10, 2007)

wow..I'm surprised how many are in this situation...at least I don't feel so alone in my lonliness...


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

..


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I know what you mean, I just turned 25 and I've never had a girlfriend.


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## MapleLeaf (Nov 7, 2007)

deleted


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## MapleLeaf (Nov 7, 2007)

I have a question to you all: Do you feel worse of than singles, who had several relationships.

I have a friend, who is my age and he is single too, but he had four relationships in his past. He is pretty pleased with being single. I always feel worse off, because we both are singles, but i always think he has the chance not to end up an old bachelor and i don't, know what i mean?


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## 2Talkative (Nov 1, 2007)

Everyone in a relationship wants out and everyone not in one wants in on it.

I've been single so long I wouldn't know where to start. :clap


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## spadoan (May 5, 2005)

I'm female, I've never been on a date with a guy or in a relationship, will be 26 soon.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

Yeah, I've never dated either. I will just have to live with the fact that I will be alone forever, and hope that I can one day coerce a hobo into finally taking my virginity with the promise of a meatball sub. If all else fails, I have the perfect boyfriend substitute already. He lives in my closet, stuffed inside a novelty hat. He's all the man I'll ever need. If you'll just excuse me... I need to go sob uncontrollably and hold "Richard Roundtree" (that's what I've named him) until I pass out from all the emotional pain.


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

I am single now and been so for nearly a year I believe. My first g/f was in 8th grade which only lasted 2 weeks. Then I spent years of being alone until I was 23/24. That lasted less than a month and next two relationships after that also lasted less than a month. My biggest frustration is being able to find a girl and staying in a relationship for long term. I am 25 now and feel I'll probably be single for awhile, I just don't feel worthy. Some of my best friends are single too, but have several friends that are girls, me on the hand don't and I don't get out much which doesn't help either. Though I am pretty content in being single, I feel people around me assume I must be gay which is probably me being paranoid.


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## copper (Nov 10, 2003)

I am 37 and never had a GF. I went on a date a couple times, but it never worked out. I guess I don't have much to offer. I pretty much just gave up in this department.


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## Beryl (Jan 9, 2007)

I am in the same position. I know I am young and have time but at 19 people think its wierd that I am a virgin. Why has everyone started losing their virginity at 16 and being so permiscuise. I just don;t understand this crazy time we live in. I probably will die alone without ever kissing a girl even with all the gradual improveents to my appearance I am making. I am just at a complete loss for what to do but I am glad im not in this boat alone lthough I am scared with the number of people who are older than me because I now know that when they say to give it time and it will happen they are wrong.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

zircon said:


> I am in the same position. I know I am young .


id rather be 19 again with no experience and enough time to develop social skills rather than be 30 with experience but with little social skills.


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## Beryl (Jan 9, 2007)

Developing social skills is difficult without experiance. If you have been on dates I don't see how bad your social skills can be.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

i do well when its just me and another person. but as soon as she wants me to hangout with her friends i start to make excuses not to go and eventually she either starts to think im not interested any more or...who knows what but the contact dissolves and im back at the beginning

i have come a long way but there are certain things that i just cant do. hopefully theres a yet after that do


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## Beryl (Jan 9, 2007)

All u got to do is say yes and hang out with the friends. Some of us aren't so lucky to get invited to hang out with friends.


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## Mr. SandMan (Aug 24, 2007)

nevermind....


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

zircon said:


> All u got to do is say yes and hang out with the friends. Some of us aren't so lucky to get invited to hang out with friends.


thats the same as somone telling you "all you have to do is put yourself out there"


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Easy, guys


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## Beryl (Jan 9, 2007)

> bignate said:
> 
> 
> > thats the same as somone telling you "all you have to do is put yourself out there"


I got the feeling someone would say that. But accepting is easier then just putting urself out there. Maybe not much but a little.


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## Beryl (Jan 9, 2007)

chic_canadian_gurl said:


> Nothing serious. It's due to my looks mainly. Maybe I'll meet some guy not shallow one day, but the odds aren't looking good. Looks mean SO much for that first impression it seems. My ugliness is mostly beyond my control...I can lose weight, but I can't change screwed up genetics.


I feel the exact same way. I have been insulted about my looks way more than I can count. I am just trying to improve my looks now in hopes I don't atleast look as embaressingly bad as I do now.


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## MapleLeaf (Nov 7, 2007)

I feel the same.
Actually i am not really "ugly" (at least i hope i am not)... but i am not big at all and most women do not want to date a guy much smaller then them.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

I'm not ugly (maybe a little, but not ugly enough to laugh at or have nightmares about), but my main problem is that I'm not a real man, and women want to date men not girly guys.


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## Beryl (Jan 9, 2007)

I make Brian Peppers look like Brad Pitt.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

chic_canadian_gurl said:


> Nothing serious. It's due to my looks mainly. Maybe I'll meet some guy not shallow one day, but the odds aren't looking good. Looks mean SO much for that first impression it seems. My ugliness is mostly beyond my control...I can lose weight, but I can't change screwed up genetics.


 :ditto


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## alex989 (Nov 20, 2005)

I'm 19 and have never had a GF, but I'm not worried about it. I still have plenty of time to find someone.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

chic_canadian_gurl said:


> Nothing serious. It's due to my looks mainly. Maybe I'll meet some guy not shallow one day, but the odds aren't looking good. Looks mean SO much for that first impression it seems. My ugliness is mostly beyond my control...I can lose weight, but I can't change screwed up genetics.


very untrue. everyone has a different view of whos attractive. i see people i dont find attractive in relationships. its all about personality


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## TheStig (Nov 24, 2007)

Hey, if you are really, really, really desperate......................



Find someone who is more screwed up than you. Someone who will look to YOU for support. It worked for me for I about four days. She was pretty but had some serious issues that were much worse than SA. I couldn't handle her but I'm kind of picky so it might work for you.


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## LonelyEnigma (Jan 7, 2007)

PGVan said:


> Once you hit 20 and have never had a date, it's like you're taken out of the "aww that's cute, you're shy" social category and placed into the "wtf is wrong with you" social category.


That's so true&#8230;and the older I get the weirder people think I am.

I'm 25 and never had a girlfriend, been on a date, or even been hugged romantically. I'm no longer trying to find love. I've given up completely.


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## Letsplaywar (Mar 3, 2007)

.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

TheStig said:


> Hey, if you are really, really, really desperate......................
> 
> Find someone who is more screwed up than you. Someone who will look to YOU for support. It worked for me for I about four days. She was pretty but had some serious issues that were much worse than SA. I couldn't handle her but I'm kind of picky so it might work for you.


:lol yea


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## meesha327 (Mar 15, 2007)

I'm a loser, never had a boyfriend. Would boys think something is wrong with me if they knew this? or would you just not say anything? oh god just thinking about it scares me. I wouldn't even know how to act in a relationship


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

In my perfect little fantasy world, my first girlfriend wouldn't have any experience either. I am intimidated by a girl's experience with anything involving relationships.


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## meri (Nov 30, 2007)

Well, I've never had a boyfriend. At my age, it's like some deep, dark, shameful secret I have to carry around, hoping that no one finds out. I only have a few more years left before I officially become a spinster.

Even my mother has given up on me. She talks about how we should move in together when she becomes elderly, so I can take care of her.


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## aviator99 (Nov 23, 2006)

I think 25+ is when people start to put you in the 'shame' category if you've never been in a relationship. 

I'm 21, never been in a relationship, however i'm confident i'll be married by 26. I just know it'll happen. No stigma attached to my age in my family, as some of my cousins (guy cousins, none with SA) didnt get into a relationship until their late 20's. One of my cousins just got his first girlfriend and he's 26. Another cousin only has had 1 relationship (started at 25 years of age) and now they're married (married about a year afterwards), now have kids. Some of my female cousins have gone through a hell of a lot of relationships and they're in their very late 20's, early 30's with nobody, aside from probably a date here and there, but still no success.

So I dont know which is worse, being 28 with little to no experience, in a loving relationship or not, or being 30 having gone through 20+ people and having yet to find anyone.


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## 2Talkative (Nov 1, 2007)

meri said:


> Well, I've never had a boyfriend. At my age, it's like some deep, dark, shameful secret I have to carry around, hoping that no one finds out. I only have a few more years left before I officially become a spinster.
> 
> Even my mother has given up on me. She talks about how we should move in together when she becomes elderly, so I can take care of her.


I just turned 26 and have no GF had a few high school things but nothing serious. I don't think I can just jump into dating since i'm so socially retarded and have the social skills of a 5 year old. I've never even been able to ask a girl out I really just avoid them so I guess it's no suprise that i'm single and lonely. It's even more embarrassing reading it out.


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## Sean_Catlin (Dec 7, 2007)

Im 18,had a girlfriend from 14 to a few months ago and as i stated in a nother topic the breakup Hit me hard and was pretty much the true beggining of all this **** anxiety.

What i dont understand is why dont between us talk? maybe some of us could meet up?Maybe because we have similar problems we would get along well.I know i would be up for trying if somebody would be interested hehe but thats me being lonely.


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## Pinzelhead (Mar 14, 2007)

Never even spoken to a girl yet let alone dated one. I remember anytime a girl would try to talk to me at school I would freeze up with anxiety and blush really bad. In less than 10 years I will be 40.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

I've never dated, either. I'm still relatively young so there's always the encouraging "It'll happen, you're not too old" thing always asserted on these forums, yet I know my personality. I know that I'll never allow anyone to get close to me... that's just how it is. No matter how much I want it, my overwhelming anxiety makes sure that my life stays as ****ty as it is right now.


meri said:


> Even my mother has given up on me. She talks about how we should move in together when she becomes elderly, so I can take care of her.


Oh God, my mother has the same plans for me. I'm supposed to stay here... with her. FOREVER. And then when she dies, I'm supposed to provide -and care- for my older brother. I feel like Norman Bates. I really want to keep that from happening. The thought of never having any independence scares the living hell out of me.


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## deist78 (Nov 12, 2003)

i'm 29 and have only had 1 girlfriend, and that relationship ended almost a year ago. most people have told i am pretty good looking, but i am completely clueless when it comes to women. even if a woman was interested in me i wouldn't know it. at this point i'm so desperate i have gone on bbw sites to look for dates but it doesn't make a difference. i am too nervous around women, and couldn't possibly think of anything to say. plus i don't have a great job, a car, and i live with my parents, so i am pretty much screwed. all of those things can be rectified, but i am not sure my fear of women can be.


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## timoct (Nov 28, 2003)

I've had a few, but my problem now (I'm 35) is when I get with a women my age, like the girl I was seeing for a few months earlier this year, I always hit that point in the relationship where I get the interrogated over and over and over about my past.

She was asking me a MILLION questions (how many women had I slept with, had I ever been in love, what's the kinkiest thing I've ever done, do I do THAT and for how long) and also demanding to know all kinds of stories about my past (What's the craziest place you've ever had sex, what's the most embarrasing thing that ever happened to me, etc..) I *HATE* these kinds of questions because my answers are all so lame I feel the need to lie, then she keeps asking over and over saying she doesn't believe me. 

By the time she broke it off, I was almost relieved. At least I'll have a few more honest and lesslame answers for the next one.

Now if I could just lose some weight!


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## bbarn (Dec 22, 2007)

i'm also in the same boat. I never had a girlfriend or been on a date. it seemed that i attracted some girls but it just never panned out the way i would have liked. that whole eye contact thing is still a work in progress


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## McBeef (Jan 5, 2008)

I've never had a girlfriend either. After my best friend died I had panic attacks, some about this topic, and I'm kind of on a manic quest to not die alone. Its so embarassing and pathetic but yeah, there it is. My magical plan is to get abs, buy new clothes (I literally have 3 shirts and 3 pants at the moment) then I'll just go somewhere social and plant myself in the scenery feigning confidence. 

At this point its almost more about losing the shame of lonliness and virginity then having a relationship. I would die to have someone close that I could share my fears and anxiety with but from what I've heard this is not stuff women seem to tolerate.

This thread by the way? Bookmarked. Its like gasoline to my burning furnace of fear driving my fitness mania. I feel like going to the gym right this second.


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## holtby43 (Jan 1, 2008)

Nah, I haven't either. It gets me down a bit but I'm still young I suppose.

I've been asked a few times by girls in my school but of course I said no, I'd hate to have a relationship in such a public, crowded place.

Having finished school early last year I haven't even met anyone which makes sense because I don't go out much at all.

I also have some trouble talking to girls sometimes, out of the friends I had at school, none were girls.


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## TheGecko (Nov 26, 2007)

I've never had a girlfriend or ever had any friends who were girls either. I'm just too shy and anxious to even think about approaching a girl either so I can't see how it will change. It doesn't help that I'm ugly as well


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## Mc Borg (Jan 4, 2008)

I've never had a girlfriend, never had any friends that are girls, but I'm sure if a girl approached me and asked me out I probably would be able to open up to her.....eventually. I would be really nervous at first, but I'm sure it wouldn't be that bad, but the thing I worry about is how I'm not like normal 18 year olds who've already been in a couple relationships.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Mc Borg said:


> II'm sure if a girl approached me and asked me out I probably would be able to open up to her.....eventually. I would be really nervous at first, but I'm sure it wouldn't be that bad


At least you can still imagine a woman being attracted to you.

Many other guys have lost hope, being both shy, unconfident, AND ugly.


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## ZachAttack (Jan 6, 2008)

I've never had a girlfriend, been kissed, romantically hugged, held hands, etc.

However, I've been asked out several times by a few girls and had to turn them all down due to anxiety. It really kills me, because I remember some of the girls being fairly attractive, too. Of course, the first girl's cousin caused a world of pain for me because he didn't want me to do anything with his cousin, despite the fact we weren't dating or anything. I never got her number. But he bullied me anyways, fueling my anxiety even more and putting me deeper in depression.

Also, my best friend is a girl.


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## Noca (Jun 24, 2005)

Through lots of effort, luck and a wide net, I somehow manage to find relationships.


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## Kanashi (Jan 5, 2008)

Stanley said:


> Futures said:
> 
> 
> > I'm a lost cause.
> ...


Mak :cry es me sad


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## HumiliatedGuy (Jan 13, 2008)

I need to get my first post out of the way. I am 39 and I have had one girlfriend in my life and it only lasted a few weeks and it was long distance. I wonder if that even counts.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

It counts if you want it to! 
Welcome to the forum, by the way!


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

MapleLeaf said:


> :rain Is there someone like me? I never had a girlfriend. I am 28 now. Most of the times i just try to think: So i am going to end up an old bachelor and i don't mind.
> But i do mind!


I'm 24, and I expect to be a bachelor for life. This doesn't bother me though.

I'm more concerned about loneliness and lacking friends (I currently have one friend in my city).


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## fc045 (Jan 4, 2007)

I'm older than most of you are. Never went on a real date. It really sucks. I have a decent education.
I'm actually good looking(for my race). And it just my whiny personality I hate so much because it pushes girls away (or worse) and invites jerks to make an example of me in any social situation.


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## Beryl (Jan 9, 2007)

fc045 said:


> I'm actually good looking(for my race).


Why do you have an inherent belief that your "race" is ugly.

I guess I actually do too though. I don't really like people of my race. But for me though I think its because I don't like homogeniousness. I would prfer to be in an interracial relaitionship. I also prefer to hang out with people of multitudes of races and hate having to hang out with people of all the same race as me.


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## Toedoe (Sep 19, 2007)

deleted


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

I'm Twenty-Seven and never had a s.o.

I did go on one date when I was 17.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I don't think I've been on a date (it was never explicitly said), but I feel like I'm not sure what a date is. I was asked to go to a movie by a girl who ended up stalking me, and at the time I agreed to go (I didn't know much about her, and she was desperately asking me to go). Due to how late she called me though, the theater closed and locked its doors by the time I arrived, so I never met up with her. That was a blessing in disguise though.


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## Arkturus (Dec 10, 2006)

I've never had a friend that was a girl, let alone a girlfriend.


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## User (Mar 20, 2004)

I've never had a girlfriend, and, honestly, it's not a big deal right now. The fact that I've lost most of my friends, and need to make new ones, that's my main problem.


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## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

I'm 22, but the way things are going I don't expect to have a girlfriend anytime soon.


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## javasirc (Jan 27, 2008)

Im 20, ill be 21 in May. Ive never had a girlfriend, or a girl who is my friend, and i cant see either happening any time soon. Whenever i see a girl in public, i get nervous and walk away, even if noone else is around.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

User said:


> I've never had a girlfriend, and, honestly, it's not a big deal right now. The fact that I've lost most of my friends, and need to make new ones, that's my main problem.


Thank goodness somebody around here has the same mindset .


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## Raplovehate (Jan 15, 2008)

Mc Borg said:


> I've never had a girlfriend, never had any friends that are girls, but I'm sure if a girl approached me and asked me out I probably would be able to open up to her.....eventually. I would be really nervous at first, but I'm sure it wouldn't be that bad, but the thing I worry about is how I'm not like normal 18 year olds who've already been in a couple relationships.


I haven't had one either, happy that I'm definatly not alone here, but I agree with this guys mindset. I'm currently in a community college class thats been going on a month now and theres a female that I think is amazing, but I just can't muster even a hello up. The more I think of being single still by 25 or getting into dating by 30, the more I feel that I can say something to her..soon. I really think some of you guys are being to hard on yourselves; it really gets me because even though I have hard time with women,I have the utmost faith that others can make it work with them.


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## kevinffcp (Aug 30, 2007)

:no :no :no


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## Zero From Outer Space (Jan 10, 2005)

LostInReverie said:


> chic_canadian_gurl said:
> 
> 
> > Nothing serious. It's due to my looks mainly. Maybe I'll meet some guy not shallow one day, but the odds aren't looking good. Looks mean SO much for that first impression it seems. My ugliness is mostly beyond my control...I can lose weight, but I can't change screwed up genetics.
> ...


Alright this might sound weird, but whatever...LostInReverie, if the girl in the picture that you used to have in your avatar is you, then you look like the kind of girl I would be interested in but would be too nervous to approach in class or on the street or somewhere.

Looks don't count for as much as people think. The guy I know that got more girls than anyone I've ever met before was short, prematurely balding, and didn't make that much money. But he projected such a great aura of confidence and friendliness that women just fell all over him.

Nobody cares about your looks as much as you do. So many people on this board have said that they are ugly or whatever, but all I've ever seen are pictures of normal people on here. A lot I'd say are even pretty good looking.


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## jtb3485 (Nov 9, 2003)

I could've sworn I posted in this topic already, but I guess not. This thread is really depressing. :rain I'm 27 and I still have never had a girlfriend before. I've been on a few dates and I even went to my high school prom. But I don't know anything about how to court a woman. It completely baffles me. I wish there was some kind of support group for guys who are too shy around women. The thing is, though, I can be friends with women a lot more easily than with guys so you'd think that at least one of those would've turned into a romantic relationship, but no.


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## snake (Aug 12, 2005)

I am 20. No girlfriend ever here. My mission this year was to find a girlfriend. I targeted 4 girls. It turns out 1 is married, 2 are engaged, and 1 has a boyfriend. I approached the last one, and walked home with her, she mentioned she had a boyfriend when I asked her what she liked. OWNED. I thought those girls were interested. I am terrible at perceiving if someone is interested or not.


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## ardrum (May 13, 2007)

I have an agreement with the female sex. I don't ask them out, and they don't ask me out. It works for the both of us.


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