# Being an ugly girl



## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

I had an ex boyfriend who I loved very much, who recently, in a roundabout sort of way, told me I was ugly.
He said, "The girl I marry has to be cute, and I'll just probably never marry you, Kathryn..."
He told me about his goregous ex girlfriends and how much he was hurt when they broke up with him. I've heard countless stories about them and I've seen so many photos of them, with their perfect bodies and faces...
It's just not fair. I wish I could look like a normal girl or at least have some of the beauty that other girls seem to have. =( this outlook has really ruined my relationship confidence with people. I am just so ugly, will anyone ever actually love an ugly, hideous girl such as myself? =[
I am extremely bitter about my appearance, it just isn't fair...


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Well now you no why they're his ex-girlfriends.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

Sacrieur said:


> Well now you no why they're his ex-girlfriends.


Only because they had to move to different schools, otherwise he would've stayed with them..,


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

He told me that when he made love to one of his hot ex girlfriends, his body would ache for her....but when he made love to me, he was just using me for sexual gratification,
How can I ever recover from this......how can any guy ever love this ugly body and my hideous face? =[


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

I really don't think he's telling you the truth about this.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

I really am extremely ugly....there's no other option except for me to just accept it for what it is =[ that's the hardest part...


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Kathykook said:


> I really am extremely ugly....there's no other option except for me to just accept it for what it is =[ that's the hardest part...


No you don't.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

Sacrieur said:


> No you don't.


I really need a nose job, maybe a boob job as well...that's the only way I'd be beautiful


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

It is a cliche, but beauty is subjective. Some of the ladies I find hugely attractive would seem a bit plain and butch to male friends of mine. Attraction is important in a relationship but different people are attracted to different looks, so don't think you have no hope.
Sounds to me like he is the one with issues. 
Please don't get surgery.


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## the collector (Aug 15, 2010)

Kathykook said:


> I had an ex boyfriend who I loved very much, who recently, in a roundabout sort of way, told me I was ugly.
> He said, "The girl I marry has to be cute, and I'll just probably never marry you, Kathryn..."
> He told me about his goregous ex girlfriends and how much he was hurt when they broke up with him. I've heard countless stories about them and I've seen so many photos of them, with their perfect bodies and faces...
> It's just not fair. I wish I could look like a normal girl or at least have some of the beauty that other girls seem to have. =( this outlook has really ruined my relationship confidence with people. I am just so ugly, will anyone ever actually love an ugly, hideous girl such as myself? =[
> I am extremely bitter about my appearance, it just isn't fair...


Seriously, hun.I doubt ur ugly.Post a pic, n let us be the judge.
; )


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## Unkn0wn Pleasures (Nov 24, 2011)

Your ex is a ****!


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Kathykook said:


> I really need a nose job, maybe a boob job as well...that's the only way I'd be beautiful


You know I used to think I was ugly too once. I would self-mutilate to try to improve my appearance.

The truth is that I was obsessing over these little imperfections. That because I didn't look like a model on the cover of a magazine I was ugly. But even then, whatever.

Because people obsess over all their little physical "flaws", but really who cares, personality is a dollar to the penny that appearance is worth.


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## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

Your ex sounds like a dickhead.

I'm pretty sure if you sized up your nose against mine I'd win that competition (I'm Italian )


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

changeme77 said:


> Your ex sounds like a dickhead.
> 
> I'm pretty sure if you sized up your nose against mine I'd win that competition (I'm Italian )


I'm Italian too...


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## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

Kathykook said:


> I'm Italian too...


where from? i should correct what i said. my parents are Italian, and I have Italian traits


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

No, it was all me. He treated those girls with love and respect, posted pics of them and how happy they were on Facebook, and kept things that belonged to them as mementos. With me, we never took photos together and he was afraid to show me off to his friends.


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## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

so he used you for sex. not the first guy to do it and certainly not the last. don't waste your energy on pathetic people like this and certainly don't allow them to affect how you think of yourself.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

If he wanted to marry a pretty girl, he should've married you.


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

If he had all those pretty ex-gfs why did he choose you? 

Is it possible that you're pretty too? 

So many BDD people here that I'm reluctant to believe people who claim to be "ugly." Is it possible that this is just a serious insecurity you have?


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

AngelClare said:


> If he had all those pretty ex-gfs why did he choose you?
> 
> Is it possible that you're pretty too?
> 
> So many BDD people here that I'm reluctant to believe people who claim to be "ugly." Is it possible that this is just a serious insecurity you have?


He only chose me because he met me on a dating site and I forced a relationship on him. 
He deleted all the photos he had of me and kept pictures of him and the pretty girls on his phone. There's was also a pic of one of his really gorgeous girls in a bikini, it was like he was glorifying her. It made me sick.

It's because I'm ugly and he doesn't want an ugly girl. If I was as pretty as that girl, he would've stayed with me forever


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## changeme77 (Feb 22, 2013)

why would you force a relationship on him? anyway, it sounds like you are better off without him.

i've never seen an ugly Italian girl they're usually ALWAYS cute. i doubt you are any different.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Kathykook said:


> He treated those girls with love and respect, posted pics of them and how happy they were on Facebook, and kept things that belonged to them as mementos. With me, we never took photos together and he was afraid to show me off to his friends.





Kathykook said:


> I had an ex boyfriend who I loved very much, who recently, in a roundabout sort of way, told me I was ugly.
> He said, "The girl I marry has to be cute, and I'll just probably never marry you, Kathryn..."
> 
> He told me about his goregous ex girlfriends and how much he was hurt when they broke up with him.





Kathykook said:


> He told me that when he made love to one of his hot ex girlfriends, his body would ache for her....but when he made love to me, he was just using me for sexual gratification,


Did he actually say these things to you, or is this just what you were 'hearing' in your head out of self-consciousness?

If he really said all this, then he's an *******. And I don't mean a conventional ******* -- I mean the type of ******* that should be dragged out into the street and shot.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

Kathykook said:


> He only chose me because he met me on a dating site and I forced a relationship on him.
> He deleted all the photos he had of me and kept pictures of him and the pretty girls on his phone. There's was also a pic of one of his really gorgeous girls in a bikini, it was like he was glorifying her. It made me sick.
> 
> It's because I'm ugly and he doesn't want an ugly girl. If I was as pretty as that girl, he would've stayed with me forever





Just Lurking said:


> Did he actually say these things to you, or is this just what you were 'hearing' in your head out of self-consciousness?
> 
> If he really said all this, then he's an *******. And I don't mean a conventional ******* -- I mean the type of ******* that should be dragged out into the street and shot.


Some of it he told me, in a roundabout way. Go be honest, I did a bit of snooping and found a journal he had of all his girlfriends...I saw my name on the list and read what he said about me
He kept a journal....I know it was wrong for me to look at it, but he kept me at his house the entire day and I was bored. I was so crushed. It hurts even more that I found out this way...


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Kathykook said:


> No, it was all me. He treated those girls with love and respect, posted pics of them and how happy they were on Facebook, and kept things that belonged to them as mementos. With me, we never took photos together and he was afraid to show me off to his friends.


This guy Is too obsessed with exes.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

May I ask why your so called boyfriend said that to you?? Were you guys in an argument or something?? He wouldn't have gone out with you if he didn't find you attractive. Trust me. Maybe you did something youa re not aware of that pissed him off. Don't compare yourself to other girls. We are all individuals and uniquely made. There is no one in this world who looks exactly like you. You are your own individual. I see so many girls out there who are not good looking, yet they still have a guy by their side. Also, there are girls who physically look worst than you. I thought I was the ugliest person on earth until I saw other girls not so fortunate themselves.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

This must be the same guy we said you shouldn't date because he had this attitude written all over him, but did you listen? Noooooooooooo. Now you assume you're ugly. See what dating scumbags do to you when you have no internal fortitude? Hopefully you learned your lesson. I saw pictures of you, and you aren't ugly.

Find a guy who doesn't think you're ugly. Problem solved.

I feel bad that you are insecure about yourself, but I don't feel bad that you were forewarned about this guy and you didn't listen; thus, allowing yourself to be treated that way. It's partially your fault, but everyone needs to learn somehow I suppose. Don't date scumbag *******s. Heck, he even tried to break it off with you early on and you STILL chased him EVENTHOUGH he was a scumbag then too! Have some respect for yourself.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Some guys will think you're ugly, some will think you're average-looking, and some will think you're hot.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Any guy that keeps a journal listing the pros and cons of all of the girls he's been with is the biggest douche on the planet. It's sad that instead of being happy that you're away from him (and free to met more solid guys), you put all the blame for his actions on yourself. You're totally cute and you have nothing to worry about - except for your taste in men.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

It just hurts so much because I love him......and he can never love me because of how I look


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Kathykook said:


> *He only chose me because he met me on a dating site and I forced a relationship on him. *
> He deleted all the photos he had of me and kept pictures of him and the pretty girls on his phone. There's was also a pic of one of his really gorgeous girls in a bikini, it was like he was glorifying her. It made me sick.
> 
> It's because I'm ugly and he doesn't want an ugly girl. If I was as pretty as that girl, he would've stayed with me forever


Forced him? Uh, no...he could've said no. So basically he dated a girl he wasn't attracted to because he wanted some ***? Surprise.
You should've spat in his face.

You'll find someone else, don't worry.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Kathykook said:


> Some of it he told me, in a roundabout way. Go be honest, I did a bit of snooping and found a journal he had of all his girlfriends...I saw my name on the list and read what he said about me
> He kept a journal....I know it was wrong for me to look at it, but he kept me at his house the entire day and I was bored. I was so crushed. It hurts even more that I found out this way...


Guys like this... You're just a notch in their belts... They don't care about you; they only care about how good you look around their arms. If they get married, it's not about love; it's about their desire for a trophy wife.

As soon as they see something else (I say _something_, not _someone_, because that's how they see you) that catches their eye, that's where their attention will turn.

They are only good for one thing: Flings. To attempt a relationship with this type of guy is to set yourself up for misery.

And those other girls you mentioned? As far as this guy is concerned, they are no better off than you.

There are a lot of guys out there who will appreciate you, for you. Go after them and forget about this jackass.


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## FerociousFleur (Oct 30, 2012)

mezzoforte said:


> Some guys will think you're ugly, some will think you're average-looking, and some will think you're hot.


Word. :yes

OP, I agree with everyone else about what a worthless piece of crap this guy is. But you said that you "forced" a relationship on him. That sounds like a big part of the problem -- this guy is a major douchebag to begin with, and I don't know details, but you can't expect him to stay in a relationship that he didn't want to be in.

You need to build your self-confidence. I know it hurts to think and be told that you're unattractive, but speaking from experience, the people who say that are insecure themselves and not worth your energy.

If you really think you're unattractive, learn to work with what you've got. You only have one face and body for your entire life -- learn to dress nicely, work out, do your hair and makeup. There are thousands of youtube/internet tutorials on all of the above. I firmly believe that ANYONE can be stunningly attractive if they know how to work it with confidence.


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## pantazi (Sep 3, 2012)

With our issues were not the best judge of ourselves. 

This guy sounds a creep.


Have you got a puic of yourself you can put up.


Just cause he thinks youre ugly doesnt mean you are?

I've known very attractive girls who think theyre ugly.

tc


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Kathykook said:


> It just hurts so much because I love him......and he can never love me because of how I look


Do you love him or do you desperately seek his approval?

My ex-gf sucks as a person (sad to say). She's is pathologically inconsiderate yet I felt like I was "in love" with her. Why? Because I never felt like I never got her full approval. She always withheld her approval. The more she withheld it the more desperately I wanted it. Then any positive comment or act from her felt so good because they were so few and far between.

It's almost like I didn't love her ( due to bad character) but I wanted her to love me so I could feel better about myself.

This dysfunctional feeling is very strong and can be mistake for love. The more someone rejects you the more you want them.


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## gusstaf (Jan 1, 2012)

I've seen a few pictures of you around SAS, and as I recall, you're far from ugly. Obviously, my opinion doesn't mean much, but it sounds like he's a huge a** and you're better off without him.


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

When The Undesperate meets The Unworthy. You're putting your self worth in a guy that will never love you.

Work on being happy without a man.


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## Snow Bunny (Jan 28, 2009)

First of all, whether you're pretty or ugly or whatever, he's a complete dirk. Why are you with a dirk in the first place?

Secondly boob size has nothing to do with prettiness so that's void, and if all you think all you would need to be 'pretty' apart from that is a nose job then I doubt very much you are aesthetically 'ugly'.

But to end on a more agreeable note, I know what you mean about the frustrations of (at least feeling like) an unattractive female and just wanting to be normal/average.


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## meedo (Oct 4, 2011)

Kathykook said:


> I had an ex boyfriend who I loved very much, who recently, in a roundabout sort of way, told me I was ugly.
> He said, "The girl I marry has to be cute, and I'll just probably never marry you, Kathryn..."
> He told me about his goregous ex girlfriends and how much he was hurt when they broke up with him. I've heard countless stories about them and I've seen so many photos of them, with their perfect bodies and faces...
> It's just not fair. I wish I could look like a normal girl or at least have some of the beauty that other girls seem to have. =( this outlook has really ruined my relationship confidence with people. I am just so ugly, will anyone ever actually love an ugly, hideous girl such as myself? =[
> I am extremely bitter about my appearance, it just isn't fair...


Your boyfriend was not an a.s.s.h.o.l.e

he was DARTH A.S.S.H.O.L.E !!!!!


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## Lonelygirl1986 (Sep 4, 2012)

The same thing happened with me, I felt like I would of been treated differently if my ex had found me more attractive, but it's just his opinion it doesn't mean it is right.


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## forevereccentric (Feb 9, 2013)

Kathykook said:


> He told me that when he made love to one of his hot ex girlfriends, his body would ache for her....but when he made love to me, he was just using me for sexual gratification,
> [


Wow. This has got to be one of the most cold-hearted things I've ever heard. I can't believe he would say this to you. But this guy has proven that he didn't even love his better looking ex-girlfriends. He was just a horny dude that was into her face and body and that's why he is missing her. It is better to be away from him because his relationship with those other girls was based on lust, not love. He sounds very shallow. He is the type of guy that will marry a pretty girl and the second she shows aging signs, he will leave her for a twenty-something.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Something was bothering me before, which is why I said he was lying. I didn't know why though, I do now.

Why would he date you, a supposedly ugly girl, if he could obtain absolutely gorgeous girls and that's all he cared about?

Someone is not telling the truth. Maybe him, maybe you.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

If you really think you're ugly then it's best that you avoid relationships or dating for now because you will think that they secretly think you're uglier than other females. This guy sounds like scum, I must say. Just take a break from all this bull**** and do stuff for yourself.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

I really can't understand how you can feel anything positive towards a person who treas you this way.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

AussiePea said:


> I really can't understand how you can feel anything positive towards a person who treas you this way.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome

Happens all the time.


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## Eyesontheskies (Jan 31, 2013)

Kathykook said:


> I really need a nose job, maybe a boob job as well...that's the only way I'd be beautiful


Well you are lucky, apparently you are ugly and can still get a boyfriend. I am not bad looking and yet can't even get a date for prom.


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## niacin (May 26, 2012)

If he brags about his ex girlfriends, I GUARANTEE you they dumped _him_


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## pati (Aug 15, 2012)

He is a DICK.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

Wow , it looks like you really missed out on him . Hes such a dbag <3: Shallow,cruel, vain, bitter , insensitive what more could he have? Is he a hypocrite too? Because if so that makes him 10/10. You are unfortunately going to have to settle with men that are not like this.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)




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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

mezzoforte said:


> some guys will think you're ugly, some will think you're average-looking, and some will think you're hot.


agreed.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

That dude is just ******* who wants to hurt you. Tell him to go the **** off!


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## hanzitalaura (Mar 3, 2013)

Kathykook said:


> I had an ex boyfriend who I loved very much, who recently, in a roundabout sort of way, told me I was ugly.
> He said, "The girl I marry has to be cute, and I'll just probably never marry you, Kathryn..."
> He told me about his goregous ex girlfriends and how much he was hurt when they broke up with him. I've heard countless stories about them and I've seen so many photos of them, with their perfect bodies and faces...
> It's just not fair. I wish I could look like a normal girl or at least have some of the beauty that other girls seem to have. =( this outlook has really ruined my relationship confidence with people. I am just so ugly, will anyone ever actually love an ugly, hideous girl such as myself? =[
> I am extremely bitter about my appearance, it just isn't fair...


Your ex is obviously insecure and fells like he needs to put you down to feel superior. I wouldn't let the opinion of a insecure jerk like that affect the way you see yourself. Think about it a person who is happy with themselves will not put you down they will motivate you and make you feel special. You should be so thankful that he is your ex.

I had a boyfriend you acted similar and even lied about his accomplishments because he knew I liked intelligent men he made up a story about how he was about to start Harvard grad school when he never even completed a bachelors at a state school.

Was your ex kissing or hugging these women on the pictures? If he wasn't I wouldn't be surprised if he was just lying just to boost up his ego by making jealous and insecure.


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## H8PPLNDGS (Mar 15, 2013)

Ugly or not he did not like you, bitter, and on the rebound etc. I am super ugly and not exactly dating material so I usually end up saying or asking something like,"Why are you dating me then?" "If you don't like me or the way I am, look etc. FO and leave me alone." "So you don't mind if I date someone else." "No matter how great you think you are, there are people who think you are **** not 'the ****' or 'it' factor. " If he is 'the ****' he doesn't have to waste time to prove n' flick ****. His body aches and those exes were glad it was over and dream of a better deal than him.


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## Motionless Sway (May 30, 2011)

I don't know what you look like, but I don't need to. You don't love him the way love really is. 

Yours and his views are skewed about life, love and all in between in separate ways.

Why do you think you love someone like that?

I could say something like, "If I could just demean a woman, she would love me and try to be the person I want, and that still won't be enough." but I won't because I'm not a douche like him and neither are most of the people on this site.


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## march_hare (Jan 18, 2006)

Kathykook said:


> He told me that when he made love to one of his hot ex girlfriends, his body would ache for her....but when he made love to me, he was just using me for sexual gratification,


He is an absolute dickhead!
The problem lies solely with him. Do not let his emotional abuse get to you! You don't need anyone like that in your life.


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## The Phantom Pain (Oct 6, 2010)

Kathykook said:


> He told me that when he made love to one of his hot ex girlfriends, his body would ache for her....but when he made love to me, he was just using me for sexual gratification,
> How can I ever recover from this......how can any guy ever love this ugly body and my hideous face? =[


Have you ever thought maybe he was really trying to hurt you feelings? Cause with that, that's what it sounds like to me.


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## Icebat (Oct 16, 2011)

Kathykook said:


> I had an ex boyfriend who I loved very much, who recently, in a roundabout sort of way, told me I was ugly.
> He said, "The girl I marry has to be cute, and I'll just probably never marry you, Kathryn..."
> He told me about his goregous ex girlfriends and how much he was hurt when they broke up with him. I've heard countless stories about them and I've seen so many photos of them, with their perfect bodies and faces...
> It's just not fair. I wish I could look like a normal girl or at least have some of the beauty that other girls seem to have. =( this outlook has really ruined my relationship confidence with people. I am just so ugly, will anyone ever actually love an ugly, hideous girl such as myself? =[
> I am extremely bitter about my appearance, it just isn't fair...


He probably just told you to be an *******. I wouldn't worry about it.
I'm sure you look way better than you think.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

I think your ex was being a bit harsh but I think he is simply stating his personal feelings towards you (but lacks awareness of how his words impact on you). You simply cannot help what you are attracted to. I've had girls think I'm hot yet other's would think I'm ugly and make fun of my face. It sucks to hear what other REALLY think of us (when it's negative) but would you have liked him to keep his true feelings to himself??


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## Royals (Jul 20, 2012)

Please do not built your self image on the opinions of one superficial person. It is not all about outer beauty you know. Intelligence, character, spirituality, kindness are just as important


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## vatefairefoutre (Mar 21, 2013)

are you still with this f4g??? jesus christttttt I AM APPALLED. get him out of your life A$AP. RIGHT NOW. 2 THA CURB. dont be bitter about your appearance, be bitter that you let yourself DATE this idiot. no one deserves this treatment, not even self-proclaimed ugly girls who are not ugly. FLY GIRL FLY UR A MERMAID LET YOUR LUNGS BE FREE FROM THIS PNEUMONIA-LIKE BOYF AND MOVE TO L.A.!!!!!!!


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Most men (including me) won't give ugly women a chance.


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## JustinT (Feb 21, 2012)

Kathykook said:


> I had an ex boyfriend who I loved very much, who recently, in a roundabout sort of way, told me I was ugly.
> He said, "The girl I marry has to be cute, and I'll just probably never marry you, Kathryn..."
> He told me about his goregous ex girlfriends and how much he was hurt when they broke up with him. I've heard countless stories about them and I've seen so many photos of them, with their perfect bodies and faces...
> It's just not fair. I wish I could look like a normal girl or at least have some of the beauty that other girls seem to have. =( this outlook has really ruined my relationship confidence with people. I am just so ugly, will anyone ever actually love an ugly, hideous girl such as myself? =[
> I am extremely bitter about my appearance, it just isn't fair...


one person's ugly is another person's hot.

wish i could see a photo of u. seems kind of unfair not to provide one.


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## TheTraveler (Jan 31, 2013)

Seriously? for all you know they are his cousins. And obv he is very insecure. I have met my fair share of shallow men. But none of them go on about their exes. lol He is living is lala land. If you want to not feel so bad about yourself then stop verbally abusing yourself.


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## life01 (Feb 20, 2013)

imho what a horrible person, beauty is subjective, a woman i find beautiful, someone else may find unattractive. In the future, hopefully you'll realise you had a narrow escape


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