# hahaha tried to kiss a girl



## Cassoulet94 (Apr 3, 2014)

hahahahahaha yesterday night I was in a night club, I was drunk and I tried to kiss a girl for the first time in my life (I'm 21). 

Our head were touching and then I tried to kiss her. Don't remember too much what happened. 

Each time I touched her lips, she removed her head. But she stayed very close to me, so I don't know if it was a game or if I suck so much at kissing.

I know that at the end, I got tired of it so I left her alone. I think the real reason is that I was scared that I was doing really bad so I left her before she could left me haha.

Maybe I was very bad but at least it was with a random girl I will never see again so it's ok. She was very cute though.

ps: maybe too many haha but I think I'm still a littledrunk, despite the fact that in my country it is 11am.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

She might have been interested but nervous. Congrats on overcoming your SA enough to go there, dance, dance with a girl, and try that. 

If they move their head, just brush your lips lightly against some other sensitive spots - their ears, the side of their neck, the back of their neck if their hair is up, breathe a slow hot breath against that skin after. Drives them wild.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Or your breath was knocking her out of the way. Getting drunk is a fast path to dragon breath. But, regardless, pro move, bro.


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## Cassoulet94 (Apr 3, 2014)

mjkittredge said:


> She might have been interested but nervous. Congrats on overcoming your SA enough to go there, dance, dance with a girl, and try that.
> 
> If they move their head, just brush your lips lightly against some other sensitive spots - their ears, the side of their neck, the back of their neck if their hair is up, breathe a slow hot breath against that skin after. Drives them wild.


Yeah thanks for this advice ! I really think I don't have SA anymore. The only thing that I still have to do is gaining experience with girls and all of a sudden I have a lot of opportunities it's awesome !

I know that I could have been better with this girl but I was stressed and very drunk, so I was unable to ask myself what she was feeling or thinking. But I'm glad because it's an important first step. I'm just feeling a little bad for letting her alone just like. She must have been very confused.


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## Cassoulet94 (Apr 3, 2014)

KyleInSTL said:


> Or your breath was knocking her out of the way. Getting drunk is a fast path to dragon breath. But, regardless, pro move, bro.


haha yeah I didn't think about that. But in clubs, 99% of the people are drunk so she was probably like me. I am currently in China and alcohol is free for white people in the clubs.


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## IAmBreakingOut (Oct 12, 2015)

Cassoulet, night clubs make me anxious! It sounds like you did well. Would you mind sharing a more detailed report for those curious to try likewise (minus the hangover)? Was this the sort of club where most people are dancing? How did you find friends to go with? How did you approach this lady? How many others did you approach?

Clubs aren't necessary to meet ladies, but I don't want to live my life avoiding them.


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

Cassoulet94 said:


> haha yeah I didn't think about that. But in clubs, 99% of the people are drunk so she was probably like me. *I am currently in China and alcohol is free for white people in the clubs*.


Weird, never heard of that before.


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## Cassoulet94 (Apr 3, 2014)

IAmBreakingOut said:


> Cassoulet, night clubs make me seriously anxious! It sounds like you did well. Would you mind sharing a more detailed report for those curious to try likewise (minus the hangover)? Was this the sort of club where most people are dancing? How did you find friends to go with? How did you approach this lady? How many others did you approach?
> 
> I went to a night club where everyone was dancing once--ended up dancing the same two steps over and over solo, near but not with any ladies, with acquaintances occasionally checking in on me. More recently I went to a salsa club where only some danced. The ladies who knew how to dance wanted to dance with men who knew how to dance. The ladies who didn't know how to dance couldn't be coaxed into trying.. and the music was too loud to really have a conversation with anyone. I have good reasons to be anxious.
> 
> I'm taking dance lessons now. Clubs aren't necessary to meet ladies, but I won't live my life in fear of them.


I can make a report but first I have to say that my SA has reduced dramatically so maybe it won't help you very much because nowadays I feel that most of the anxiety is gone. I am still depressed at times though. I am currently taking paxil. I think it has been a great help, I am reducing it now because I don't need it anymore.

Where did I find friends ? Well currently I am studying in Shanghai ( for one year) so it gave me a fresh start and I was able to make friends. It's easier because here everybody want to make friends because they don't know anyone at the beginning; Sometimes I feel a little lonely but overall it's nothing like it was before. This night I was with my roommate and his friends. It's the first time I live in a shared flat and it's a very good exercise to fight SA because you have to be social all the time, so you don't have these moments when you just basically stay at home for days and don't speak to anyone.

What kind of club ? A ****ty one, with bad commercial music (I a into techno music so i am pretty difficult; i never go to salsa clubs though, my favorite ones are the underground techno clubs, in which people come to hear good music and not only to have sex). very loud music, you can't talk at all. Most people are dancing, of course. And really, you can dance as you want. It's not important in that kind of clubs. Just don't be static.

How did I approach the lady ? Well first I was drunk. Now I don't mind going sober in clubs but before I had to be drunk in order not to freak out. Honestly, I know that alcohol is bad for my health but i don't know what I would do without it. I use it a lot to making me more social; most of the big step I made, I made them with a little alcohol in my blood (not too much though; in clubs it's ok to be drunk but I don't get drunk in everyday life, and I schedule alcohol free days in order not to become addicted. ).

In order to approach girl, you have to make yourself available. first, don't fear to make a lot of eyes contact with people you are interested in. But not too much. You have to show that you're interested but also that you don't care too much. I know, it's really ****ed up but I think it works like that. So I did that, but I also exchange with my friends from time to time. I didn't do it as a strategy, but it shows that you are social, so it's a good sign. Show that you have fun.

I spot a pretty girl who was frequently looking at me and keeping doing it when I looked at her; it means that she was interested; so I danced next to her; then i got closer, and closer and closer; then I don't remember much haha. I know that I touch her hair, and that I moved her head toward mine to kiss her. Then you know the rest, I probably kissed her awkwardly.

It's important to cross the physical barrier progressively; get closer, then you can do smtg like touching her waste and see how she reacts, then you can touch her hair, or her face I think; if she lets you, you can kiss her.

I know that it sounds really stupid to make so much effort to get a girl; I also know that there is no universal rules or strategy; if I had never been social anxious, I wouldn't give a **** and I would just enjoy myself. but as I have 0 experience, I have read a lot on the internet to boost my chances; myabe some of the things I told you don't work. Everyone behave differently and things can happen in a lot of different ways. And that's a good thing.


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## Cassoulet94 (Apr 3, 2014)

McFly said:


> Weird, never heard of that before.


****ty commercial night clubs (75% of shanghai night clubs) hire "promoters" to find western people and bring them. They give them a password that enable them to drink for free. It's cheap alcohol of course. It's a piece of cake to find promoters; there is plenty of them.

Why do they do that ? Because, for whatever reason, Chinese people are kind of fascinated by westerners... It's seen as cool to be in a place where there is a lot of them. what is really funny is that they don't even dance ! They sit at tables and order very expensive foods and drinks and they take selfies and try to talk with westerners. So basically they pay for us. That's ****ed up.

Why did I tell white people ? Because Chinese are really not used to black people so they are a little racist. It's more difficult to enter when you look Asian (because you don't look like a westerner, even if you are one) or black. you can but it s harder.


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## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

Cassoulet94 said:


> ****ty commercial night clubs (75% of shanghai night clubs) hire "promoters" to find western people and bring them. They give them a password that enable them to drink for free. It's cheap alcohol of course. It's a piece of cake to find promoters; there is plenty of them.
> 
> Why do they do that ? Because, for whatever reason, Chinese people are kind of fascinated by westerners... It's seen as cool to be in a place where there is a lot of them. what is really funny is that they don't even dance ! They sit at tables and order very expensive foods and drinks and they take selfies and try to talk with westerners. So basically they pay for us. That's ****ed up.
> 
> Why did I tell white people ? Because Chinese are really not used to black people so they are a little racist. It's more difficult to enter when you look Asian (because you don't look like a westerner, even if you are one) or black. you can but it s harder.


That is fked up, but not totally surprised because they do worship westerners. Just didn't know it was that extreme.

Reminds me of this video for some reason *cringe*


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

Cassoulet94 said:


> haha yeah I didn't think about that. But in clubs, 99% of the people are drunk so she was probably like me. I am currently in China and alcohol is free for white people in the clubs.


*EDIT* ah I see you answered this for someone else further down.

_Why is it free for white people in clubs? That's interesting, never heard of that. Maybe I need to take a vacation

_Sounds like fun. Would be great to be valuable and desirable for my race instead of just another face in the crowd


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

McFly said:


> That is fked up, but not totally surprised because they do worship westerners. Just didn't know it was that extreme.
> 
> Reminds me of this video for some reason *cringe*


God, I couldn't believe he just let that guy feel up his girl like that. That scrawny little punk would have woke up 3 days later in the hospital if he tried that on me.


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