# Who was your first crush on?



## Reecedouglas1 (Oct 10, 2019)

A girl when I was 10 for me.


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## Steelfox (Nov 10, 2003)

A girl I went to school with in the 7th grade. I heard her talking behind me and fell in love with her from her voice before I even saw her. Had a crush on her all through school.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

Harold in 1st grade. His father was in the Air Force and his mother was Japanese. I suppose it was because he was different/somewhat exotic compared to the other boys. I had no idea that I had a crush on him. I just knew that I liked being close to him.


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## either/or (Apr 27, 2020)

I think my first crush was in middle school. It was awful, the girl didn't like me but knew I had a crush on her and we were in some of the same classes together so it got a little bit awkward.


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## solitarysol (Aug 19, 2019)

Amy Price. As much as I forget, I would never forget her name. I believe it was about the 4th grade when I met her, so I was about 10 or 11. She had shoulder length, natural cherry red hair and she wore lipstick to match. She never talked much, but when she did, it was only what I could imagine then, what an angel sounds like. She was so.... adorable, smart and absolutely gorgeous. 

Me? I was one of the handful of kids in my elementary that wore glasses, in a time where that was still a stigmata. In turn, only a handful of kids would talk to me, and even less wanted to be my friend. This, unknowingly (at the time) coupled with my anxiety, only added to my natural hesitancy. I was the kid that sat in the back, and into the corner farthest from everybody. I avoided attention like the plague! She never knew I existed.

Fast forward a few years, and I am with my semi on again/off again friends I knew since I was a babe. I was telling them this story (we did not go to the same schools) and they were like, get the phone book! They had me going through every person with the last name Price, and asking if they had a family member named Amy. There were thankfully no more than a dozen in the phone book, because it was stressful enough calling strangers, at the same time exciting as I am actually pursuing someone, instead of running away!

However, it was to no avail. Not a single one knew an Amy. So either they were creeped out by the fact, or none of her family is listed in the phone book. Which was more common in a time where privacy was actually a thing. As years went on, I had nothing but crushes. 

The only interactions I have ever attempted with a girl, since, have been online (there are a truck load of reasons as to why). Even when I do meet someone online, I do nothing but procrastinate, which tries their patience and they move on. I have only ever had five relationships in my entire life, one being my ex wife. As bad as that marriage was, I could never call it a mistake because of my 4 children I got out of it. 

Regardless if I ever had gotten with one of my many crushes, they were all too normal (all around). I never had a fighting chance. I am a hard person to live with, and regardless of who I am on the inside, my actions paint a different picture and it makes me sick, because no one ever gets to see me. Just the weird and annoying things I do. It is a hard irony, coming to the realization that I am likely going to die alone, when ever since I was a child, all I ever asked for in life was just one person to stand by my side to love me, as much as I love them.


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## ShyVegan (Nov 19, 2020)

A boy in first grade for me. I forgot his name to be honest. I was sort of his friend. Then, I moved to a different school in third grade. Then, when I was around 18 or so, I looked him up on Facebook (I don't have one anymore), and he is still so attractive! I tried to send him a friend request but he didn't accept it. I'm assuming because he didn't even know who I was?  Story of my life. No one ever remembers me. I guess because no one is my friend for too long. They always end up ditching me.


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## Tetragammon (Jun 2, 2015)

My best friend in the 2nd grade; her name was Elissa. We liked to pretend that we were "dating" and proclaimed ourselves King and Queen of the playground. I remember sitting with her at the "girl's table" in the cafeteria, getting lots of stares and laughs from the other kids but I didn't care. I actually had some confidence back then.

We moved to another state before 3rd grade and I never heard from her again. She gave me a going-away present: a photograph of her in a nice wooden frame. I still have the frame but somehow managed to lose the photo. Sometimes I wish I could remember her last name so I could look her up, although I'm certain that nothing would come of it. I think that crush influenced me much more than any others.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Tetragammon said:


> My best friend in the 2nd grade; her name was Elissa. We liked to pretend that we were "dating" and proclaimed ourselves King and Queen of the playground. I remember sitting with her at the "girl's table" in the cafeteria, getting lots of stares and laughs from the other kids but I didn't care. I actually had some confidence back then.
> 
> We moved to another state before 3rd grade and I never heard from her again. She gave me a going-away present: a photograph of her in a nice wooden frame. I still have the frame but somehow managed to lose the photo. *Sometimes I wish I could remember her last name so I could look her up, although I'm certain that nothing would come of it. I think that crush influenced me much more than any others.*


Trust me. Don't do it! Things like that might be tempting but can be a can of worms (Not sure if that's the right way to put it but hopefully you get the meaning). You have a nice, pleasant happy memory that you might hopelessly corrupt if you ever tried to do that.

I had a GF that I really liked when I was about 16 and got back in touch with her (through the internet) sometime probably before 2010 (it was when Myspace was still a thing but kind of on it's way out) just for a time reference. She was nice and all but it was weird because she was married and had kids and a good job. Obviously, I didn't have a lot to say beyond "Hi. How ya doing? Remember me?"  . And in doing so, I did not have any intentions of any kind. I was just curious and had always wondered what happened with her life and always kind of wondered if there could have ever been the slightest possibility of more.

There was kind of a moment of excitement when she first responded to me because it was kind of a longshot (It wasn't like it is now and I had found her on some kind of site where she had made a profile and it didn't look like she had been active there for a long time).

Anyway, she clearly thought that my intentions were to try and pick up where we left off (which they weren't) and so she was naturally upfront about the fact that she was married and had kids and happy. Which made it more awkward and made me start wondering what I was trying to accomplish anyway.

And then we exchanged a few messages and she said a few things that made me remember some of the letters she had written to me (which I had lost years ago and had forgotten many things). I started to realize that all those years that I spent thinking how amazing she was, I had just been a naive kid when all of that happened and things were never as rosy as I thought they were. I suddenly remembered a few pretty unpleasant things (That I hadn't realized were what they were at the time and only realized their significance in hindsight and more experience) and realized that she actually had a pretty low opinion of me. Which kind of made me feel very foolish for spending so many years putting her on a pedestal. Which wasn't good for me because those were pleasant memories and it really wasn't hurting anything for me to hold onto them and never have known any different.

Anyway, not very many good things have happened to me in my life and that was one of the periods of my life that wasn't half bad and things looked like they might have some possibility of working out. Which they really didn't but it was a scrap of hope to latch onto and nice memories.


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## Mlt18 (Jun 29, 2016)

I think it was some kid in elementary school.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

A girl when I was about 10.


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## hayes (Feb 11, 2017)

Grade 7. He was in my class along with his twin brother. We sat next to each other and would always compete on who got higher marks on stuff.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

None of your business lol


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## lavignesabine (Apr 15, 2021)

Hit girl from kickass and greg hefley lmao


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I don't really know tbh. Because at younger ages there were lots of random feelings and it's hard to separate. I was weird as a child though like I had fetishistic interests, but in a kind of pre-sexuality way where they just felt 'weird' or 'fascinating' and they weren't directed at people but themes/scenarios (though I did separately become very obsessed with certain fictional characters like Beetlejuice, Poison Ivy and Qui Gon Jinn from Star Wars and I'm sure other people read them at least the male ones as crushes... But I don't really know they don't have any traits I find attractive.. Aside from Poison Ivy who I clearly steal features from to this day for a variety of things Sims... Video game avatars... Random drawings... A bunch of homoerotic stories I made as a teenager where I created male + intersex Poison Ivy characters.. Obviously liked the plant thing, also been attracted to multiple red heads irl) but I didn't have normal romantic crushes in that way on people I knew irl until I was a teenager. I remember other kids would roleplay that and have crushes though in primary school, and at one point someone was suggesting 'I have to find a boyfriend now' and I was not into that at all lol.

11/12 is also when I started finding musicians attractive starting with the guitarist in Good Charlotte Billy Martin. Then I became sort of into this boy I met on holiday but I think only because he expressed interest in me so it got me to thinking about it (which is the only time that's happened, normally when guys ask me out I'm not attracted at all.) Then I became obsessed with this older teen girl but I'm not sure if that was a crush or not (well I talked about her way too much at home, and my dad found it weird and pointed that out at one point, and it was because I never spoke to her,) then numerous other crushes on boys/men and a couple of transfemme people (but one wasn't out I only found out about this very recently. I have a habit of starting to find people more attractive before they come out about being transgender it's pretty weird. Not always a full on crush but yeah. Either that or they come out as non-binary, or I find out they're non-binary. Actually tbh considering many of my preferences it's probably weird it hasn't happened more often. I think for some similar people everyone they're attracted to is gay or trans but for me it's a bit more mixed.)

I didn't really have any sexual attraction until well into my 20s. It's still kind of blunted most of the time, depends on my sex drive and various other factors. I think I have undiagnosed autism which probably effects it. From what I've read autism leads to atypical sexuality. It's not just the queer aspect I mean you can tell from my anecdotes that several peculiar things are going on here.

Can you imagine if I just settled on a name and answered the thread question? 😂 Oh and there were other fictional characters as a child I liked in an ambiguous way but was less obsessed with too.


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## alwaysrunning (Sep 7, 2019)

I can't remember but the first famous person I would say was Kavana - singer of that well famous song MFEO lol


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## LunaS. (Jul 8, 2018)

A boy from elementary school. I really liked his hair color and his smile.


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## caelle (Sep 9, 2008)

A kid in kindergarten. I don't remember ever talking to him but I thought he was so cute. I remember I cut out his picture in the yearbook and put it in my locket or something lol. I'm so mad cause I cut out his name too and I've since lost the picture. Kinda sucks cause I'd love to look him up and see what he's doing now. Just cause I'm nosy I wouldn't actually message him. I wonder if any of my old classmates think about me. I doubt it. I wasn't an interesting person.


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## Greenmacaron (Jul 20, 2019)

A chubby boy in my class called John. I was about 7 years old.


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

I had a crush on one in the first grade that lasted until the ninth grade. But there were several others along the way.


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## pillbugger (Dec 9, 2021)

I was a 4th grader in a class with a mix of 4th graders and 5th graders for some reason. She was a 5th grader and had this other boy constantly follow and harass her (he would slide his hand under her clothes, the pervert). I was a tiny bit shorter than her, and remember getting up on my toes whenever I was near her. One day, I made her cry by pulling on her ponytail that she always wore during recess.

Out of coincidence, we ended up in summer school together with a handful of other kids. I remember our teacher asking if we were related, which we both quickly soured our faces and violently shook our heads in response. My kid mind had no idea what "related" meant. I thought the teacher was implying that we were boyfriend-girlfriend. Then she had to go to the bathroom, so the teacher sent me to accompany her. We quietly walked to the bathroom which was located outside, and when she came out, she suddenly started to chase me. We both played a quick game of tag, while running around a small tree and laughing. I ended up slobbering over myself like a dork. The school was practically empty due to being summer school. This was my first and last day of attending summer school so I never saw her again. I wonder how she's doing now? Is she her timid self still? I never had a crush since then, until recently, and it has managed to totally destroy my previous immunity to loneliness. I fell in the trap that most people fall into... the need to belong to a group, or someone. 😑


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## Starcut83 (Feb 13, 2021)

I don't remember...I can remember a few of my younger crushes but I'm not sure who was first or if it's even one of them...thinking far back past a certain point and my mind blocked most all of it out.


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## strange_world (Jul 13, 2021)

A chap in my class at school when we were very young. He came on to me. I rejected his advances as I was a bit shocked by it all. But I'll admit that afterwards I thought about him a lot and I got a bit annoyed with myself that I turned him away. I'm glad I did though because it turns out I'm not gay but at the time I wasn't so sure. Like many people, I was quite confused about my orientation as a teenager and as a young adult. Anyway, that's my truthful answer to the question I guess.


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

depends on what age. I had an age-appropriate crush in 1st grade. As far as adolescent-age, yeah, I 'noticed' some of the girls in my class in 7th grade, but nobody was interested like that. In 8th grade, I had a crush on a new girl in our class. She turned out to be not interested, and once I was "outed" as having a crush on her, her attitude became distinctly snotty, which was both bizarre and soul-crushing.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I don't remember how old I was but I would say I was pretty young. Probably between 1st and 3rd grade. Name isn't important but I do remember her name and what she looked like (vaguely). And of course, right there, the pattern was locked in for me. The pattern where I'd get a crush and never do anything about it. I think deep down I knew she wouldn't like me. And that's pretty much why the pattern repeated endlessly. Not some false notion I had that I wasn't good enough. Unfortunately, I have always been pretty realistic about those kinds of things and if I had an intuition about something, I learned (the hard way) to listen to it.

There were some crushes over the years that were just so strong that I took a chance. Which I went into every single one of them knowing what the outcome would be but was willing to take the consequences on even the slightest possibility. I was always right and eventually learned not to. It wasn't so much that it was too much for me to take but it was just an awkward situation for everyone involved. I didn't like putting them in a situation where they had to do that to someone.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

I remember liking a couple of kids in playschool or primary school when I was little. But the real fun started when I got to high school and I could see the girls from the public school on the bus going home in the afternoon. I always considered those girls sort of "bad" because they hitched their skirts up really short.

God I loved that bus ride - it was magnificent.


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## Protozoan (May 26, 2014)

Primary school, must have been first or second year. There was a girl with glasses that I really liked, and I suppose I was pretty determined to show her I liked her because I even bought her a cool little ring with a dolphin on it from a $2 shop.

I remember during an assembly I ended up sitting behind her and she asked me for a back massage, which I was ecstatic about and of course obliged. The teachers weren't too happy about it though.


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## dearestjane (Sep 4, 2021)

I crush a lot. The first crush I remember was me in preschool, aged 4 or so. His name was Jesse, and he had pretty golden brown hair and green eyes. I think he had green eyes. Well, I also remember that this kid, he pushed me off the slide and I feel to the ground one recess. I don't remember bothering him in the slightest lol. 

I also remember another crush I had later, perhaps in the 1st grade. This boy was also mean. For some damn reason, we had an odd lunch seating system at the school, and I couldn't sit with my friends (I had friends?) one day, and had to sit at the table the boy was at with his little friends, and he kicked me under the table. On my shins! The ****er. I wish I would have kicked him back. 

So yeah, something in me liked mean boys. I also like mean and distanced men now so makes sense haha...gosh.


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## Protozoan (May 26, 2014)

dearestjane said:


> I crush a lot. The first crush I remember was me in preschool, aged 4 or so. His name was Jesse, and he had pretty golden brown hair and green eyes. I think he had green eyes. Well, I also remember that this kid, he pushed me off the slide and I feel to the ground one recess. I don't remember bothering him in the slightest lol.
> 
> I also remember another crush I had later, perhaps in the 1st grade. This boy was also mean. For some damn reason, we had an odd lunch seating system at the school, and I couldn't sit with my friends (I had friends?) one day, and had to sit at the table the boy was at with his little friends, and he kicked me under the table. On my shins! The ****er. I wish I would have kicked him back.
> 
> So yeah, something in me liked mean boys. I also like mean and distanced men now so makes sense haha...gosh.


Jeez, I hope that doesn't translate to being into those psycho abusive guys.

I was always told it was the girls that were mean were the ones that had a crush, that never made sense to me though. Maybe this is what was going on for you though and this was their twisted way of showing they were into you?


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## Omni-slash (Feb 10, 2016)

Victoria Louise.


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## dearestjane (Sep 4, 2021)

Protozoan said:


> Jeez, I hope that doesn't translate to being into those psycho abusive guys.
> 
> I was always told it was the girls that were mean were the ones that had a crush, that never made sense to me though. Maybe this is what was going on for you though and this was their twisted way of showing they were into you?


You sir, are 100% correct. 

They call it an insecure attachment: I am the anxiously attached and they are the avoidant type. We attract each other madly. It's gross. this last one, he was one of those "psycho abusive guys," the kind that gaslight and string you along. In his defense, he did have a pretty terrible childhood. (And in my defense too.)

It's been two years since the breakup. It was awful. relationships sure don't have the appeal they used to for me.


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## Protozoan (May 26, 2014)

dearestjane said:


> You sir, are 100% correct.
> 
> They call it an insecure attachment: I am the anxiously attached and they are the avoidant type. We attract each other madly. It's gross. this last one, he was one of those "psycho abusive guys," the kind that gaslight and string you along. In his defense, he did have a pretty terrible childhood. (And in my defense too.)
> 
> It's been two years since the breakup. It was awful. relationships sure don't have the appeal they used to for me.


It's tragic when people are stuck in a relationship with a toxic or abusive person, I hear often of both men and women who wound up trapped in those situations. Though I'm glad to hear you got out, I hope you're doing better since then.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

My first crush was in 7th grade, for the most popular girl in school. As luck would have it, my locker was right next to hers, and my idea of flirting and getting her attention was to put post-it notes on her locker and prank call her. (lol, hey it seemed like a clever idea at the time!). It got her attention, but not in the way I had hoped. That was the first of what would be a lifetime of let-downs when it comes to lack of dating and relationships.


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## tonyhd71 (Jul 27, 2014)

My first crush was with a girl in second grade.


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## Myosr (Apr 8, 2016)

I think I had a crush on the same girl throughout my school years. It was strong at elementry school because we were in the same class, but it didn't compleley go away until I went to uni. (that's like 11 years, sounds crazy. also we barely ever talked. 🙄).


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## Socialmisfits (May 14, 2021)

A girl from school, one year older. I saw her the first day I joined that school and it was love at first sight. She was kind of odd looking, not like regular girls but in my eyes she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. Later on I made the mistake of revealing to classmates that I had an eye for her. Word travelled quickly and since I was the shy guy it was met with laughter and ridicule. Lots of awkward glances were thrown at me from her classmates and from herself. It was talk of the town, considering she was in an older class it was never realistically going to end up in success. We never came directly into contact only during breaks on the playground but you know how it goes, every class stays within their group. Often I would see the girl and her friends gossip about me from a distance and often it also would be the other way around.

This went on for 4 years, my crush for her stayed the same during this time, I was head over heels but in all those years we did not exchange words once, I didn’t even know the tone of her voice or her character. Since the entire school knew and talked about it it effectively killed off all possibilities because every move towards each other would have turned heads. Shy guys like me don’t want that attention. From the looks of it she didn’t either. She probably wasn’t interested anyway.


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