# do you feel guilty/ dirty after you have sex?



## JenWiz (Feb 24, 2006)

I feel dirty/ guilty after i have sex/ masturbate...do you feel the same way?


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## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

JenWiz said:


> I feel dirty/ guilty after i have sex.


That means you did it right.

(sorry, that's an old line I stole from a comedian.)


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## RX2000 (Jan 25, 2004)

No. There is nothing dirty about sex if you do it with the person you love.


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

Masturbation? Yes. 

Sex? I propably would not, not by judging the way my scant contact with females felt up to this point...


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

RX2000 said:


> No. There is nothing dirty about sex if you do it with the person you love.


There is nothing dirty about sex _period_, we are all just conditioned by society in thinking about it that way...


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## pentagon (Dec 13, 2005)

Actually I think this is somewhat common/natural, I know there are a few articles about it floating around somewhere on the internet.


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## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

Well, it would depend on what kind of sex you are having, wouldn't it? I mean, if I had sex with a married woman, or a child, or sex with a lot of violence or domination mixed in, or sex with a man, or sex with a sheep (baa), I'd feel dirty and guilty afterwards.


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky (Jul 26, 2004)

no


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## macready (Nov 6, 2005)

actually... to be honest, after sex is the only time i feel like i know someone. i mean, whether it's special or not, all masks are off. might sound weird, but that's how i feel.


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## pixiedust (Aug 11, 2005)

In certain situations :hide but for the most part no.


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## Carbon Breather (Mar 13, 2005)

LittleZion said:


> JenWiz said:
> 
> 
> > I feel dirty/ guilty after i have sex.
> ...


ahaha. Time for a shower :lol


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## sparkations (Nov 26, 2003)

> That means you did it right.


I'm sorry, but I had to laugh at that..ha ha :lol :lol


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## Paaroska (Mar 16, 2006)

I know exactly what you mean, I have been married for several years but I still have those feelings of guilt and shame. I always cry after sex.

My therapist has helped me to see that this is the result of the horrific abuse I went through as a child.


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## pixiedust (Aug 11, 2005)

BCdude said:


> pixiedust said:
> 
> 
> > In certain situations :hide but for the most part no.
> ...


 :con Why was that funny?

Sorry for what you went through Kara :hug

JenWiz - is this a big issue for you? if it is it might be something to explore through therapy. :stu


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## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

Kara said:


> My therapist has helped me to see that this is the result of the horrific abuse I went through as a child.


woops, that's right -- that's one very common reason why people would still feel shame or guilt about sex, a reason we shouldn't be making light of... Of course, it can also come from lots of family or cultural messages that sex is wrong (except under very tight restrictions). I don't know what the case is for you.


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## itsmemaggi (Sep 26, 2005)

I don't like the idea of having more than one sexual partner EVER. I know now that it's entirely unrealistic (and downright impossible), but this still makes me feel cheap.



Gumaro said:


> depends on how much sweat there is


 :shock

xoxo
Maggi


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## RX2000 (Jan 25, 2004)

Lyric Suite said:


> RX2000 said:
> 
> 
> > No. There is nothing dirty about sex if you do it with the person you love.
> ...


Well, it was given to us by God to be enjoyed between a loving couple.

If its not that, then its just cheap sex and I think people usually feel dirty about it for a reason.


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## itsmemaggi (Sep 26, 2005)

Gumaro said:


> itsmemaggi said:
> 
> 
> > I don't like the idea of having more than one sexual partner EVER. I know now that it's entirely unrealistic (and downright impossible), but this still makes me feel cheap.
> ...


The problem is thinking that you've found the right one and then being rejected. BIG mistake.

xoxo
Maggi


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

LittleZion said:


> Well, it would depend on what kind of sex you are having, wouldn't it? I mean, if I had sex with a married woman, or a child, or sex with a lot of violence or domination mixed in, or sex with a man, or sex with a sheep (baa), I'd feel dirty and guilty afterwards.


That's like saying eating is also dirty. Ever seen fear factor?

I think it was implied this was about _normal_ sex. Anything could be dirty with enough imagination...


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

RX2000 said:


> Well, it was given to us by God to be enjoyed between a loving couple.


And you are sure that's not something society led you to believe?


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## Paaroska (Mar 16, 2006)

It's Christian belief that sex is strictly for procreation, In Judaism belief sex is to strengthen the bond between husband and wife so as to create a loving environment to raise a family. A husband is expected to have sex with his wife every month, not the other way around, and unlike Christianity, Judaism believes in the use of birth control.


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## Nae (Nov 10, 2003)

both sex & masturbation are amazing acts. I find the idea of others censuring either of those acts appalling..it creates unneeded guilt and distress.


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## On the way (Feb 9, 2006)

Lyric Suite said:


> LittleZion said:
> 
> 
> > Well, it would depend on what kind of sex you are having, wouldn't it? I mean, if I had sex with a married woman, or a child, or sex with a lot of violence or domination mixed in, or sex with a man, or sex with a sheep (baa), I'd feel dirty and guilty afterwards.
> ...


Well, you made an assumption I didn't. I don't know anything about the context of the question -- sex with whom, of what kind/quality, in what relationship, etc. Besides, I think a lot of people have different ideas about what is "normal" sex. So my point was it depends on what we're talking about.


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## sprinter (Nov 22, 2003)

*********


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## Paaroska (Mar 16, 2006)

I don't see how those passages say anything other than to be in a respectful monogamous relationship. No reference to sex developing intimacy within the relationship.
Why is birth control not allowed?


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## sprinter (Nov 22, 2003)

*******


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## tewstroke (Feb 18, 2006)

sometimes after I masturbate, never have had sex.

I don't think sex is dirty, only when the other partner or partners aren't willing to participate, but if both want to then hey.


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## mobile363 (Apr 11, 2004)

I feel relaxed after sex and a strong bond with the person I just had sex with.,


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

Usually, no. But on religious holidays, yes. :afr 

The Pope recently said that he approves of the use of condoms as a way to prevent AIDS, because in Africa it is a huge problem. But all other forms of birth control he is still against.


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## mobile363 (Apr 11, 2004)

whiteclouds said:


> Usually, no. But on religious holidays, yes. :afr
> 
> The Pope recently said that he approves of the use of condoms as a way to prevent AIDS, because in Africa it is a huge problem. But all other forms of birth control he is still against.


really quite an interesting thought. If the Pope is right about what he believes in and we are sinning so much these days as a society.

Sometimes I do feel bad after sex, but thats only with girls I have no desire to have sex with. Happened only with one girl on several occasions, but after it was over I felt like I had just used her for sex. So after that I felt dirty and kind of guilty for it. Something told me it was wrong, but the sexual desire overpowered that thought.

On the other occasions, where I thought me and the girl really shared a bond, then it felt alright. And yes, if God exists, he probably would have no problem with a loving couple having sex. This is probably how it felt as early man. Have sex as often as you could to spread your genes and dominate over others. I think we do the same now, but we have came up with ways to protect against overpopulation. Theres no doubt sex makes us feel empowered. Sex is therefore "needed" to help a man succeed in society.


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

It really depends on the context/circumstances/situation, I suppose . . . not all instances are alike . . . 

But my short, simple answer is: no, I generally don't feel guilty about it.


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## SupportiveGF (Apr 25, 2006)

I used to, but once I felt comfortable with my body and my partner, no i feel closer to that person and i feel happy and relaxed.


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## shyguydan (Dec 30, 2004)

I use to feel bad after sex, but from what my partner at the time told me was that i was GREAT, but then again, I think that is one of the reasons why our relationship lasted together for so long(2 years) because of the sex, and I feel guilty/ashamed about that, because I have more to offer than sex :afr, now I am going to practice absence till I find someone that will be my other half


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## clenched_fist (Jan 4, 2004)

_No._


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## bent (Aug 4, 2005)

i don't feel guilty or dirty afterwards. i only feel bad if i have doubts about my emotional honesty, which is rare.

for me sex was always something i wanted but couldn't get to. when i get it i am always happy and feel relaxed and freer with the person.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Maybe when I was younger, not anymore.


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## Maseur Shado (Jun 7, 2005)

I usually felt guilty. Not about the act itself (there's nothing wrong with it...it's just two bodies bumping together), but the fact that I let myself be taken advantage of, and that I let someone force me to be passive. I know the female is usually supposed to be passive during sex, but I HATED it. I still do.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

Lyric Suite said:


> RX2000 said:
> 
> 
> > Well, it was given to us by God to be enjoyed between a loving couple.
> ...


I kind of agree, but to be fair, just about everything is related to society. The fact that we sleep in a bed is something influenced by society.


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