# Asking people out when they're working



## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Anybody ever try this and have tips on how to go about doing this?

I'm talking about asking out store clerks, customer service, waiters/waitresses, secretaries, etc.

I feel like if you go up and ask them something work-related, they'll go into work mode and see you as purely a customer.

But if you go up to them and start chatting them up, it's kind of too obvious, isn't it?


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f40/why-do-so-many-guys-want-to-ask-out-waitresses-209114/


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

NO

That's so creepy.


----------



## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

komorikun said:


> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/search.php?searchid=51449906


That's a link to every thread you've ever created.



Shameful said:


> NO
> 
> That's so creepy.


What? Shouldn't that depend on how you go about doing it?


----------



## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

i have never seen anybody ask somebody out irl guess because i'm too ugly


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

oops


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

vicente said:


> What? Shouldn't that depend on how you go about doing it?


If you're doing it at their place of employment or while they're on the job, you're doing it creepy.


----------



## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

vicente said:


> Anybody ever try this and have tips on how to go about doing this?
> 
> I'm talking about asking out store clerks, customer service, waiters/waitresses, secretaries, etc.
> 
> ...


A lot of guys think being obvious about their intentions is creepy or bad. But if girls like guys, why would it be bad? In fact, it's only creepy when you skirt around the obvious and do something that shows you're interested while not actually asking the girl out. For example, stalking a girl. Liking her posts on Facebook. Laughing at all of her jokes. Staring at her, then when she looks at you, quickly averting your gaze. Those are creepy.

Here are the non-creepy versions of the above: walking up to a girl and talking to her, messaging her on Facebook, flirting, maintaining eye contact (with a smile).

Moral of the story, whoever the girl is, there's nothing wrong with showing your intentions, as long as you are assertive about it, and as long as you get the hint if you get rejected.

P.S. Shameful is wrong.


----------



## CatThatWalkedByHimself (Jan 18, 2015)

Yeah, I find that with people in the high stress jobs (the ones you mentioned are high stress man), it's really difficult to build enough report in the limited time to even get their phone number. Stress=cortisol=defensiveness. You asking her out will just add to the stress, and that's irresponsible. It's not impossible, but 9/10 times you won't succeed. The circumstances would have to be just right to get a favorable outcome. For example, if you are a regular in a diner and the waitress recognizes you by name, and she is not busy, I'd chat her up and maybe ask for a phone number. Let her know that it's cool and leave the same tip, you've always left if you get rejected (classy thing to do).


----------



## CatThatWalkedByHimself (Jan 18, 2015)

*Rapport, not report lol.


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

If you're gonna follow that advice then I hope you're ok with making some girl stressed out and upset on top of her already stressful job interacting with customers, she might cry later.


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

OP I've been meaning to ask because I'm confused, didn't you say in a post a few months back that you had a wife? Or was that someone else?


----------



## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

rymo said:


> A lot of guys think being obvious about their intentions is creepy or bad. But if girls like guys, why would it be bad? In fact, it's only creepy when you skirt around the obvious and do something that shows you're interested while not actually asking the girl out. For example, stalking a girl. Liking her posts on Facebook. Laughing at all of her jokes. Staring at her, then when she looks at you, quickly averting your gaze. Those are creepy.
> 
> Here are the non-creepy versions of the above: walking up to a girl and talking to her, messaging her on Facebook, flirting, maintaining eye contact (with a smile).
> 
> ...


rymo, you are always right on the money. Have you thought of writing a self-help book?

I think Shameful is thinking of a specific situation in which asking somebody out at work would be creepy, and CatThatWalkedByHimself is thinking of the right situation. If it is unacceptable for the employee to engage in casual conversation with a customer, then it's not okay to ask them out.


----------



## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Persephone The Dread said:


> OP I've been meaning to ask because I'm confused, didn't you say in a post a few months back that you had a wife? Or was that someone else?


Some s**t went down and she kicked me to the curb. Next question.


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

vicente said:


> Some s**t went down and she kicked me to the curb. Next question.


Ah, sorry.


----------



## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

I would never do this. They probably get thousands of guys doing that. Do they need an other one? No.


----------



## voodoochild16 (Jan 20, 2009)

Where there is no law, there is no rules. What is creepy, should be avoided. If you want to see if something will work, give it a shot, at least try, there is only one way to find out. If the person your asking likes you obviously from your interaction with the person, thats a good sign. Ive actually heard of a successful relationship where a guy asked a girl out at her workplace, and many other times too. There is absolutely not wrong doing in it if you do it right (as for me, while drunk ^^).


----------



## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

You could say that about anywhere a woman hangs out. Unless you're at a speed dating or singles mixer, women aren't wearing a sign that says "It is acceptable / unacceptabble to approach me for a date." You have to start somewhere.


----------



## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

A couple years ago I was interested in a girl who worked at a coffee shop. I went in there a lot and kicked myself each time I failed to talk to her. So one day I just asked her name after making a dorky joke and then, after I left, I wrote her a note saying I was interested in hanging out sometime and included my phone number on it. The next time I was in there when she was working, I just slipped her the note that had my # on it. She texted me later that day saying she was flattered but that she already had a boyfriend.

I think, for normal people, straight up asking somebody out while they're working with other coworkers/customers are around is not the proper way to go about it. I would probably use the 'note' technique again if I'm ever in the situation again.


----------



## peyandkeele (Dec 5, 2013)

I agree with the post above me. Do what he did, cuz asking someone out right while there at work can be embarrassing


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Email might be better cause some people wouldn't want to give out their number.


----------



## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Shameful, as I said, I think it depends on how stressful the job is. If you're in a line at a cash register it's probably not appropriate to try to flirt and get the cashier's phone number. Same thing if she's working right beside several colleagues or her boss, it could be potentially embarrassing as peyandkeele said. But if you're the only customer nearby, she's not busy, and she's not being actively monitored by her boss and/or colleagues, I think you can definitely flirt and get a number without being creepy.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

If a girl likes you, it won't matter how you ask her out.


----------



## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

If you're going to ask a cashier out, do it now. Soon it'll just be self checkout registers.

I never go to the grocery stores during peak hours so I don't know if they have a lot of cashiers on or not. Whenever I go, there's only 2 cashiers on.


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

why do guys have to act like this? "Oh yay, another creep I have to reject, I just love rejecting guys, it's not stressful or upsetting at all :roll why don't my male coworkers ever have to put up with this harassment"


----------



## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Shameful said:


> why do guys have to act like this? "Oh yay, another creep I have to reject, I just love rejecting guys, it's not stressful or upsetting at all :roll why don't my male coworkers ever have to put up with this harassment"


Because we live in a patriarchal society. It really sucks for women and men who don't fit traditional definitions of masculinity. But it's the reality.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Shameful said:


> why do guys have to act like this? "Oh yay, another creep I have to reject, I just love rejecting guys, it's not stressful or upsetting at all :roll why don't my male coworkers ever have to put up with this harassment"


I think they do it cause the woman can't walk away. She has to just stand their and smile. She has no escape.


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

komorikun said:


> I think they do it cause the woman can't walk away. She has to just stand their and smile. She has no escape.


I'm sure that's part of it for some guys, though I'll say for guys here it doesn't seem sinister like that, more like, these might often be the only women who talk to them regularly combined with a lack of social awareness to realize that she's just nice because of her job and probably doesn't want to be bothered.


----------



## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

Shameful said:


> why do guys have to act like this? "Oh yay, another creep I have to reject, I just love rejecting guys, it's not stressful or upsetting at all :roll why don't my male coworkers ever have to put up with this harassment"


Lol, why do you have a problem with dudes asking out cashiers? Did you work as one, and had a bad experience with this or something?

Being asked out is _not_ harassment. People have a right to express interest in other people, even if she happens to be a waitress. I've rejected a few guys in my life and didn't find it stressful or upsetting at all.


----------



## scooby (Jun 24, 2009)

veron said:


> Lol, why do you have a problem with dudes asking out cashiers? Did you work as one, and had a bad experience with this or something?
> 
> Being asked out is _not_ harassment. People have a right to express interest in other people, even if she happens to be a waitress. I've rejected a few guys in my life and didn't find it stressful or upsetting at all.


Projecting their own insecurities and negative biases and blanketing that view over all women whether they agree or not. People are different. Some hate being approached while working, some like it. But to take her advice and never approach anyone working just becomes some don't like it is nonsense. As long as the guy is respectful, isn't pushy and accepts rejection calmly and peacefully and leaving at that, it shouldn't be a problem.


----------



## HenDoggy (Jul 26, 2014)

While working in a fast food place in high school, I thought about slipping a piece of paper with my number into the bag. Is this wrong?


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

HenDoggy said:


> While working in a fast food place in high school, I thought about slipping a piece of paper with my number into the bag. Is this wrong?


Yes, that would be horrible. Customers shouldn't be made to feel unsafe and uncomfortable either, and you could be fired if they complain.


----------



## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

scooby said:


> As long as the guy is respectful, isn't pushy and accepts rejection calmly and peacefully and leaving at that, it shouldn't be a problem.


Agreed



Shameful said:


> Yes, that would be horrible. Customers shouldn't be made to feel unsafe and uncomfortable either, and you could be fired if they complain.


At this point I don't know if you're trolling or not, but your negative views and discouraging comments aren't helping anyone.


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

veron said:


> At this point I don't know if you're trolling or not, but your negative views and discouraging comments aren't helping anyone.


If you hit on a customer, and they go complain to your boss and say that it made them feel uncomfortable, do you not think that employee would be warned or even fired?


----------



## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

First of all, I can't imagine what kind of person would complain to management because an employee smiled at them and slipped them their number.

Secondly, I can't imagine what kind of boss would fire an employee for expressing interest in a customer. He might get a warning, but that certainly wouldn't be enough grounds for firing someone.

Which means that he has the chance of getting a date, and very little chance of getting fired.


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

veron said:


> First of all, I can't imagine what kind of person would complain to management because an employee smiled at them and slipped them their number.
> 
> Secondly, I can't imagine what kind of boss would fire an employee for expressing interest in a customer. He might get a warning, but that certainly wouldn't be enough grounds for firing someone.
> 
> Which means that he has the chance of getting a date, and very little chance of getting fired.


If you google "fired for flirting with customers" you'll find a lot of people have been. I would consider complaining to a manager if that happened, because I would feel unsafe continuing to use that store if he was working there, or I would be afraid to complain because he'd know it was me so I would just never be able to use that store again. Does that sound right to you? Should women need to be careful not to look too sexy when they go shopping or else they might be subjected to the predatory advances of the employees and need to find a new store? I don't want that happening to me, I don't want that happening to other women. Men need to learn to be respectful of women's boundaries and understand that we're not looking to have our space invaded just because we are existing in public. And like I said, it's sexist too. Guys never have to deal with this bull****, they don't have to worry every time they enter a store that they'll be harassed and objectified by the employees, they're never put into a position where they feel unsafe coming back to a store because of what an employee did. They can expect to just go shopping and be treated with respect and dignity, which apparently women don't deserve.


----------



## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Shameful said:


> why do guys have to act like this? "Oh yay, another creep I have to reject, I just love rejecting guys, it's not stressful or upsetting at all :roll why don't my male coworkers ever have to put up with this harassment"


Don't you have another thread where you wonder why guy's don't ask you out? Oh yes - here http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...r-guys-are-interested-in-you-does-it-1339762/

Only older guys are interested. It's probably your attitude. Interested guy = creep.


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

scarpia said:


> Don't you have another thread where you wonder why guy's don't ask you out? Oh yes - here http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...r-guys-are-interested-in-you-does-it-1339762/
> 
> Only older guys are interested. It's probably your attitude. Interested guy = creep.


Because getting preyed on by creeps at work is totally the same thing as getting messages in online dating or having people in your social circle take interest... :roll


----------



## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Shameful said:


> Because getting preyed on by creeps at work is totally the same thing as getting messages in online dating or having people in your social circle take interest... :roll


----------



## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

If I take this thread, along with other "norms" I've heard of, i.e. not in a gym, not at your place of employment, etc., you can't approach women almost anywhere besides some smoky bar, a singles meetup, or a dating site. Bottom line, the only "safe" place is a designated venue expressly for people to make themselves available for dating.

Let's face it, finding a partner is dang difficult and I think you should be allowed to respectfully approach someone that you have an interest in getting to know better without risk of being shamed for it.

I'm sorry there are some that are traumatized by having interest shown in them, but dang...how many more limits do we have to put on finding a life partner?


----------



## feels (Jun 18, 2010)

This happened to me a lot while working in retail. (Even ended up dating one of the guys that did this for a while, but I had run into him multiple times prior to this.) Never really had any negative feelings about it. Most of them were pretty straight to the point. I think it really depends on the environment they work in and of course the individual themselves. If you wanna try to like make small talk with them first and get a feel for who they are then that might help. Then come back another day and be more direct. As long as you're being respectful I don't see a problem with it.


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

KyleInSTL said:


> If I take this thread, along with other "norms" I've heard of, i.e. not in a gym, not at your place of employment, etc., you can't approach women almost anywhere besides some smoky bar, a singles meetup, or a dating site. Bottom line, the only "safe" place is a designated venue expressly for people to make themselves available for dating.
> 
> Let's face it, finding a partner is dang difficult and I think you should be allowed to respectfully approach someone that you have an interest in getting to know better without risk of being shamed for it.
> 
> I'm sorry there are some that are traumatized by having interest shown in them, but dang...how many more limits do we have to put on finding a life partner?


So in your opinion women shouldn't be able to have jobs or go out in public without being subjected to harassment from random creeps who know nothing about her other than that her body is acceptably sexy to ****? A woman making no indication whatsoever that she is looking for a bf at work is expected to be open to your advances and it's just too ****ing bad if your predatory behavior makes her uncomfortable, she doesn't get a say. Women's feelings just don't matter as much as your sex drive does apparently.


----------



## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Shameful said:


> So in your opinion women shouldn't be able to have jobs or go out in public without being subjected to harassment from random creeps who know nothing about her other than that her body is acceptably sexy to ****? A woman making no indication whatsoever that she is looking for a bf at work is expected to be open to your advances and it's just too ****ing bad if your predatory behavior makes her uncomfortable, she doesn't get a say. Women's feelings just don't matter as much as your sex drive does apparently.


Um, no...not at ALL what I said, but that is clearly your framework of fear.

I'm saying that it is difficult enough to meet people as it is and it should be ACCEPTABLE to be approached RESPECTFULLY by another person who finds you interesting.

I'm sorry that you get traumatized by such interactions, but that shouldn't be the norm that prevents all others from trying to interact.


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

KyleInSTL said:


> Um, no...not at ALL what I said, but that is clearly your framework of fear.
> 
> I'm saying that it is difficult enough to meet people as it is and it should be ACCEPTABLE to be approached RESPECTFULLY by another person who finds you interesting.
> 
> I'm sorry that you get traumatized by such interactions, but that shouldn't be the norm that prevents all others from trying to interact.


Asking someone out RESPECTFULLY means paying attention to the circumstances and understanding when it is and isn't appropriate to ask someone out. It is IMPOSSIBLE to respectfully ask someone out at work because that is disrespecting her and being a ****ing creep and predator.


----------



## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Shameful said:


> It is IMPOSSIBLE to respectfully ask someone out at work because that is disrespecting her and being a ****ing creep and predator.


Oy vey. I'm sorry that you have such an extremist view that is shared by few.


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

KyleInSTL said:


> Oy vey. I'm sorry that you have such an extremist view that is shared by few.


So having a minority view means I'm not entitled to any respect and being a woman means I'm not entitled to having any form of personal boundaries?


----------



## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Shameful said:


> So having a minority view means I'm not entitled to any respect and being a woman means I'm not entitled to having any form of personal boundaries?


No, but your reading comprehension needs work as you seem to translate things quite inaccurately.

Have your opinion...you've certainly been throwing it around everywhere.

I just hope it's in the minority.

And that's MY opinion...thanks.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Thank goodness Shameful's view isn't the view of most women.


----------



## HenDoggy (Jul 26, 2014)

Just to reiterate on my previous comment, I was like 16 and only thought about giving my number to a couple girls similar to my age at the time. I can def see it being creepy if I were to do it now. 

As for this topic, lets play role reversal for a sec. If i was working in a retail establishment and a female customer came over to make POLITE small talk showing interest.. Of course I would be flattered that she had the courage to do that and even if she wasn't my type I'll just repectfully decline. I won't lose sleep over it. Just a guys perspective on the same situation.


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

HenDoggy said:


> Just to reiterate on my previous comment, I was like 16 and only thought about giving my number to a couple girls similar to my age at the time. I can def see it being creepy if I were to do it now.
> 
> As for this topic, lets play role reversal for a sec. If i was working in a retail establishment and a female customer came over to make POLITE small talk showing interest.. Of course I would be flattered that she had the courage to do that and even if she wasn't my type I'll just repectfully decline. I won't lose sleep over it. Just a guys perspective on the same situation.


Women are taught from a young age to fear men, instead of useful ways to minimise their actual danger and logical information + self defence classes. So fearful reactions are more likely to happen for women than men (a lot more likely.)

That being said I think in this situation, at worst women would feel irritation and that it's tedious if it happens to them a lot, but not actual anxiety/fear in most cases. And some women would take it as a compliment.

And I think that approaching directly would be better than slipping a number in a bag. She doesn't know who you are if you do that and would be unlikely to contact you.


----------



## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

More stupid new age feminism here. No reason why a guy or a girl can't ask someone out just because they are working.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Ignopius said:


> More stupid new age feminism here. No reason why a guy or a girl can't ask someone out just because they are working.


+1


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

HenDoggy said:


> Just to reiterate on my previous comment, I was like 16 and only thought about giving my number to a couple girls similar to my age at the time. I can def see it being creepy if I were to do it now.
> 
> As for this topic, lets play role reversal for a sec. If i was working in a retail establishment and a female customer came over to make POLITE small talk showing interest.. Of course I would be flattered that she had the courage to do that and even if she wasn't my type I'll just repectfully decline. I won't lose sleep over it. Just a guys perspective on the same situation.


Um.. good for you... That doesn't matter, you're not the one being asked out, so it doesn't make any difference that you would be ok. If it ever happens then have fun being ok with it, that's not a good reason to harass the women who would not be ok with.

Let me make this absolutely ****ing clear to you - if you see me in a Burger King, I am there for onion rings and a shake, NOT SOME CREEP'S DICK. If you see me working a cash register, I am trying to make money, NOT ASKING FOR CREEPS TO COME HARASS AND INVADE MY SPACE.

I cannot ****ing believe how many guys don't understand that this is not ok behavior. Because it is really not ok at all!!! I don't want to be made to feel uncomfortable and unsafe everywhere I go. I don't ****ing need that ****. Living is stressful enough without being sexually harassed at work, or sexually harassed at stores I want to go to. If you see a woman, treat her like a ****ing human being! YOUR SEXUAL DESIRES DO NOT TRUMP MY RIGHT TO FEEL SAFE IN PLACES I HAVE A RIGHT TO GO IN.

God ****ing dammit. The entitlement on this site. I am disgusted, and I'm starting to feel gross being on this website. Now go ahead and report this, I don't ****ing care anymore, I'm not sure this is a place I want to be.


----------



## BlueDay (May 6, 2014)

I went into the same bakery every day and eventually dated a girl that worked behind the counter. So yes, it's very possible. Anybody you "hit on" you have to meet first somehow anyway.


----------



## HenDoggy (Jul 26, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Women are taught from a young age to fear men, instead of useful ways to minimise their actual danger and logical information + self defence classes. So fearful reactions are more likely to happen for women than men (a lot more likely.)
> 
> That being said I think in this situation, at worst women would feel irritation and that it's tedious if it happens to them a lot, but not actual anxiety/fear in most cases. And some women would take it as a compliment.
> 
> And I think that approaching directly would be better than slipping a number in a bag. She doesn't know who you are if you do that and would be unlikely to contact you.


All valid points. Now looking back at it, I agree. The logical, appropriate way to approach this situation would be to engage in friendly, respectful conversation with him/her first and then see if there is chemistry between you two. If both mutual parties are feeling each other I say why not ask him/her out? Better then to regret the missed opportunity later on.



Shameful said:


> Um.. good for you... That doesn't matter, you're not the one being asked out, so it doesn't make any difference that you would be ok. If it ever happens then have fun being ok with it, that's not a good reason to harass the women who would not be ok with.
> 
> Let me make this absolutely ****ing clear to you - if you see me in a Burger King, I am there for onion rings and a shake, NOT SOME CREEP'S DICK. If you see me working a cash register, I am trying to make money, NOT ASKING FOR CREEPS TO COME HARASS AND INVADE MY SPACE.
> 
> ...


Like the comment above, looking back at the situation I do agree placing my number in the bag might not be the most ideal way to go about doing things and I don't condone this act. However in staying true to the topic, call me "creepy" or whatever but I honestly don't see the entitlement or harassment part of your argument, If you are asking someone out in a respectful and courteous manner. She/he is not entitled to say yes and this may be a shocker to you but there are some genuinely NICE guys out there that RESPECT women and are not only asking her out to have sex with them.

Maybe you have been in the 'frustrations' sub forum too long and that has skewered your view of men in general? I agree there are a few bad apples just like there are for women, but I don't appreciate you grouping all of us together in one stereotypical fashion.

I, like many people in here and out in the real world are just looking to get into a meaningful relationship with another person and not for sex. We all know how difficult it is to meet people in our current circumstances, especially if you have some form of anxiety. So what is the problem with expanding the opportunity to meet someone? I don't like the idea of 'rules' in place of when is it 'appropriate' to ask someone out and when is it not. Should I not go ask someone out at a bar because they are only there to drink/hang out with friends and nothing else? Or should I forget about asking someone out at a club because they are only there to dance and party?

You have to realize all relationships start somewhere. Like some members in here I don't currently attend school and rarely go to any social gatherings so that really limits my chance to meet someone. So when an opportunity arises I don't see the problem with, like I reiterated earlier engaging in friendly conversation/banter with him/her and then if you're both feeling the vibe to potentially ask him/her out. I'm sure most other normal sane guys out there understand to respect someones wishes if they aren't interested and to leave it at that. We know to not push it further to the point of harassment.

Anyway just like you, I'm entitled to my opinion so I guess we have to agree to disagree.


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

HenDoggy said:


> All valid points. Now looking back at it, I agree. The logical, appropriate way to approach this situation would be to engage in friendly, respectful conversation with him/her first and then see if there is chemistry between you two. If both mutual parties are feeling each other I say why not ask him/her out? Better then to regret the missed opportunity later on.
> 
> Like the comment above, looking back at the situation I do agree placing my number in the bag might not be the most ideal way to go about doing things and I don't condone this act. However in staying true to the topic, call me "creepy" or whatever but I honestly don't see the entitlement or harassment part of your argument, If you are asking someone out in a respectful and courteous manner. She/he is not entitled to say yes and this may be a shocker to you but there are some genuinely NICE guys out there that RESPECT women and are not only asking her out to have sex with them.
> 
> ...


If you are asking her out at work, then you are being disrespectful. There is no nice and respectful way to harass a woman at work. There is no such thing as a nice guy who hits on women while they're trying to do their job. I'm not grouping you all together, there are great guys out there - and those guys aren't being *******s by harassing women at their jobs. I don't care what your intentions are, they don't matter, sex, dating, a combination of the two, don't care, STAY THE **** AWAY FROM US WHEN WE'RE AT WORK!!!


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

Sin said:


> I agree!
> 
> I don't want no creepy girl vagina either!..I had two girls ask me for sex while I was working...I felt very unsafe too...I was outnumbered and one of them was a lot taller than me!
> 
> ...


If you're being sarcastic then that's very rude. If not, then I'm sorry that happened to you. It is really awful how cruel people can be, and they don't suffer the consequences of their actions. They get to harass us, have their fun, and then leave, not having to see the pain they caused.


----------



## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Shameful said:


> Um.. good for you... That doesn't matter, you're not the one being asked out, so it doesn't make any difference that you would be ok. If it ever happens then have fun being ok with it, that's not a good reason to harass the women who would not be ok with.
> 
> Let me make this absolutely ****ing clear to you - if you see me in a Burger King, I am there for onion rings and a shake, NOT SOME CREEP'S DICK. If you see me working a cash register, I am trying to make money, NOT ASKING FOR CREEPS TO COME HARASS AND INVADE MY SPACE.
> 
> ...


----------



## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

Shameful said:


> If you are asking her out at work, then you are being disrespectful. There is no nice and respectful way to harass a woman at work. There is no such thing as a nice guy who hits on women while they're trying to do their job. I'm not grouping you all together, there are great guys out there - and those guys aren't being *******s by harassing women at their jobs. I don't care what your intentions are, they don't matter, sex, dating, a combination of the two, don't care, STAY THE **** AWAY FROM US WHEN WE'RE AT WORK!!!


Asking someone out on a date is not harassment. More stupid new age feminism that is illogical.


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

Ignopius said:


> Asking someone out on a date is not harassment. More stupid new age feminism that is illogical.


Well that was certainly convincing. Calling what I'm saying feminism clearly rebuts it 100% and proves it as nonsense. That's totally how that works.

If you feel like actually addressing anything I wrote then have at it, otherwise leave me alone and don't quote me again, it bores me to have to read things like that.


----------



## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

Shameful said:


> Well that was certainly convincing. Calling what I'm saying feminism clearly rebuts it 100% and proves it as nonsense. That's totally how that works.
> 
> If you feel like actually addressing anything I wrote then have at it, otherwise leave me alone and don't quote me again, it bores me to have to read things like that.


Asking someone out is not harassment. You claimed it was harassment. Merriam Webster dictionary Harrassment: to annoy or bother (someone) in a *constant *or repeated way

There is nothing about asking out someone one time that is harrassment. And just because you personally perceive something as annoying or creepy does not make it universal for all women. I'm sure many would be flattered if a guy approached them during work.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Must be a pain in the *** if you are a hot chick working as a cashier or whatever. So many horny guys asking you out while your coworkers and other people in line giggle at the spectacle.


----------



## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

komorikun said:


> Must be a pain in the *** if you are a hot chick working as a cashier or whatever. So many horny guys asking you out while your coworkers and other people in line giggle at the spectacle.


naw - they have it easy. All they have to do is blow their bosses and they get promoted to the stock room.


----------



## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

komorikun said:


> Must be a pain in the *** if you are a hot chick working as a cashier or whatever. So many horny guys asking you out while your coworkers and other people in line giggle at the spectacle.


Cause life is so hard being a hot chic. Literally you can make money just by the way you look. so hard.


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

Ignopius said:


> Cause life is so hard being a hot chic. Literally you can make money just by the way you look. so hard.


So you're bitter that they have a better life than you so that makes it ok for you to harass them at work to bring them back down?


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Ignopius said:


> Cause life is so hard being a hot chic. Literally you can make money just by the way you look. so hard.


Make money? Really? To be a model you have to be super tall and skinny.


----------



## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

Shameful said:


> So you're bitter that they have a better life than you so that makes it ok for you to harass them at work to bring them back down?


No. I never said they had a better life than me. Ignore the post where I explain what harassment is. Asking a girl out on a date when shes working is not harassing? Might it be annoying? Possibly. Harassment not at all.


----------



## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

komorikun said:


> Make money? Really? To be a model you have to be super tall and skinny.


Essentially biology is dictating these women's success. Do I blame them for it? No I think its a respectable career. To say their life is harder than the average person though is a stretch.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Ignopius said:


> Essentially biology is dictating these women's success. Do I blame them for it? No I think its a respectable career. To say their life is harder than the average person though is a stretch.


I'm saying the vast majority of hot chicks can't be models, so they really can't make much money off their looks.


----------



## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

komorikun said:


> I'm saying the vast majority of hot chicks can't be models, so they really can't make much money off their looks.


Women with better looks have more opportunities with men for starters. Cause men tend to be more visual then women so they have a huge advantage in dating. Not to mention your more employable being attractive and many other advantages based solely on biology. Am I jealous? No. Resentful? Maybe but you can't deny the advantage they have. So I dont feel sorry for them because a few extra dudes ask them out on average.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Ignopius said:


> Women with better looks have more opportunities with men for starters. Cause men tend to be more visual then women so they have a huge advantage in dating. Not to mention your more employable being attractive and many other advantages based solely on biology. Am I jealous? No. Resentful? Maybe but you can't deny the advantage they have. So I dont feel sorry for them because a few extra dudes ask them out on average.


I thought we were talking about work and not dating.

It's easier for a good looking man to get a job too. Just being good looking won't get you a high paying job (with very few exceptions). Have to have the education and experience to go with it.


----------



## Shameful (Sep 5, 2014)

komorikun said:


> I thought we were talking about work and not dating.
> 
> It's easier for a good looking man to get a job too. Just being good looking won't get you a high paying job (with very few exceptions). Have to have the education and experience to go with it.


And you originally said a hot girl working as a cashier. Whatever he thinks her potential is, she's currently making minwage so those looks aren't exactly helping her career much.


----------



## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

Shameful said:


> And you originally said a hot girl working as a cashier. Whatever he thinks her potential is, she's currently making minwage so those looks aren't exactly helping her career much.


Cause a 19 year old in college has time for a career.


----------



## HenDoggy (Jul 26, 2014)

komorikun said:


> Must be a pain in the *** if you are a hot chick working as a cashier or whatever. So many horny guys asking you out while your coworkers and other people in line giggle at the spectacle.


Actually, I worked in retail for 2 years and I never once saw a customer ask a coworker out or flirt with them in front of me. I think this is a rare occurrence especially at the register where we had to keep the line moving.

I should probably add that if you are interested in talking with someone to wait til they aren't busy with customers or any tasks at hand, otherwise I advice you to do it another time.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

HenDoggy said:


> Actually, I worked in retail for 2 years and I never once saw a customer ask a coworker out or flirt with them in front of me. I think this is a rare occurrence especially at the register where we had to keep the line moving.


That has been my experience as well. And I work with _lots_ of young women. It makes me kinda sad, really.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

komorikun said:


> Must be a pain in the *** if you are a hot chick working as a cashier or whatever. So many horny guys asking you out while your coworkers and other people in line giggle at the spectacle.


It definitely doesn't work like that.


----------



## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

its not completely appropriate. there's increased risk to the working person. maybe if done considerately its ok. idk, i couldn't do it.


----------



## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Sorry Shameful, but the reality is that we live in a patriarchal society and that means, if you're not ugly, having to deal with unwanted male attention. Most women have developed coping mechanisms like adopting unfriendly body language but yeah it sucks if you don't ever want to be approached at work and men still approach you. It's the reason why they have women-only groups at the gym, to feel like they can be somewhere without having to deal with the possibility of having to judge/reject men.

Why don't you suggest some contexts where you think it would be okay for men to ask out women, other than online dating or at a bar?


----------

