# Is missing work due to depression okay?



## Nanami

or even pointless?

I haven't been feeling well lately. Waking up and getting ready for work has been killing me. One day it was so bad as I was getting ready I was crying at the same time. The past two times I've worked I've been in a bad mood and EVERYONE at work notices. One guy I work with always asks me if I'm okay and I can tell my other coworkers look at me with a worried expression and always try to cheer me up by talking to me or joking around but I'm past the point of that stuff having any affect on my mood and I just walk around looking sad or upset almost my entire shift not to mention when my depression gets worse so does my anxiety.

I feel guilty missing even one day because I only work around 25 hours a week five days a week. Anyways, I gave my shift tomorrow away to a coworker who said she'd take any of my shifts if I didn't want to work them. I just didn't think I could handle working three days in a row I always feel suicidal and I just don't want to be around people. I almost couldn't walk into work today because of my anxiety and because of my depression. I usually just think to myself, "What's the point of missing one day it's not going to help you any you're just going to end up sleeping all day" but still IDK I'm starting to feel like I can't handle it anymore.


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## Just Lurking

Overall, yes, it's OK to miss work for depression, but your employer may not see it that way. The stigma against mental illness is still going very strong in today's world, so if you miss too much time, you could wind up fired over it (unless you got a doctor's documentation or something, I don't know).

Some people would tell you to suck it up and go, but as my doctor once put it, "_You don't tell someone with asthma to 'just breathe', so why would you expect someone who's depressed to just get over it?_"

Have you seen a doctor about this? If it's is interfering with work and everyday life, then you might want to think about that.


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## lordseshomaru86

Taking time off is necessary if this is seriously affecting your work performance, and more importantly your health, I mean I doubt you'd want to get fired. I'd suggest talking to HR to see if they have resources to help you manage this, or even better a doctor if you don't want work getting involved. You don't have to suffer alone in silence


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## Nanami

Just Lurking said:


> Have you seen a doctor about this? If it's is interfering with work and everyday life, then you might want to think about that.


Ah I was seeing a doctor and on medications but lost my insurance so now I'm reverting back to where I was. I do have a counselor I see every two weeks.

I don't think I could ever call off, I'd be too nervous, but I know it wouldn't look good to constantly give my shifts away. I'm not really sure if there was a point to giving it away since it's only one day but oh well.


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## karenw

Yes it's fine, although it can make it harder to go back if you are off for a long time, keep yourself covered re sick note so you can still get pay if that's the case, if your employers are decent they will understand.


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## Nanami

lordseshomaru86 said:


> Taking time off is necessary if this is seriously affecting your work performance, and more importantly your health, I mean I doubt you'd want to get fired. I'd suggest talking to HR to see if they have resources to help you manage this, or even better a doctor if you don't want work getting involved. You don't have to suffer alone in silence


I just signed up for health insurance two days ago since it's going to be required. Almost forgot about that. >.> Goes into effect Oct 1st so I guess that's what I should do. Before there was only one or two psychiatrists in my area under the insurance I carried and I don't want to go back to the one I was seeing last year, O_O. Thanks guys.


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## Nanami

karenw said:


> Yes it's fine, although it can make it harder to go back if you are off for a long time, keep yourself covered re sick note so you can still get pay if that's the case, if your employers are decent they will understand.


^~^ Thanks, yeah honestly the longer I'm off work the harder it is for me to go back. I get extremely anxious and all that even if it's just been two days.


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## laura024

I think it's okay to take the occasional mental health day off when you really need it.


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## karenw

^^ The other thing is if you're off work, it gives you time to think negatively, is it not better to face it, I've been there (hugs), I've been known to take the odd day off sick & then it has just escalated long term. My employers had no choice but to understand as I had been there 9 & 5 years, I think you need to talk to your manager so you don't get into trouble with your moods, let them know how you are feeling, people can be nicer if they know. . Sounds like you have a good support network anyway (work colleagues). You should go to work your friends are there for you, dont get in a bad mood you could get boll**ked which will make you feel worse.


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## Mariette

A woman once told me that work helps her keep her diagnosed depression in check. It was as if she operated within some shell while working, and then the moment she'd walk to the parking lot, she would switch into her depressed self.

In a way, work might be helping you to keep bad feelings at bay by keeping you busy, so yeah, time off might be a bad idea. On the other hand, with the current state of your feelings, maybe you could use a brief time to rest. 

BUT, if you take this time off, try to plan it ahead so that you have some silly activity to do, something that will let you rest while keeping your mind occupied. Like, playing a simple video game or something like that. Something childish and silly that could work as a persistent distraction from bad thoughts...


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## red3002

School brings on my depression so much that I usually just don't go. I am just not able to go in there and function without breaking down.

But don't get me wrong, when I don't have school I still have terrible depression it is just so much worse while in school or preparing for it the next day (which i guess you can compare to work)


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## mcmuffinme

If you want time off, but don't want to tell your superiors the real reason you're taking time off then just lie. say you're going on a vacation for two weeks, or you're going to a family reunion in some other country. Use your free time to seek therapy and relax.


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## DaFowlHunter

I got fired in Jan for not showing up, due to anxiety, and no I'm on unemployment. But recently I feel like I'll never be able to work again. I can't go apply anywhere. I just can't talk to anyone I don't know. I hate it. I wish I could get disability for this. I lost my health coverage when this happened, so now I have no way to get any help with this. I'm so lost, I want to tell my wife but I feel worthless as it is. I can't even function enough to take care of my kids, now I have to try and get here to understand that I can't even go back to work. Eventually my unemployment will run out. I hate this


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## oscine

Depression is not the common cold. Depression is a psychological condition. Crying as you get ready for work is very disconcerting. I would strongly recommend you see a doctor.


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## oscine

Taking a day off here and there is a short-term solution to a long-term problem. Depression is not alleviated by taking a day off. It is ongoing. This person needs to see her family doctor who would be in a position to determine whether she needs psychiatric intervention and, if so, advise the employer; otherwise, the employer can indeed terminate her employ.


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## Focus123

Nanami said:


> I just signed up for health insurance two days ago since it's going to be required. Almost forgot about that. >.> Goes into effect Oct 1st so I guess that's what I should do. Before there was only one or two psychiatrists in my area under the insurance I carried and I don't want to go back to the one I was seeing last year, O_O. Thanks guys.


Try to see a psychiatrist as soon as possible. Even if you get insurance in October, you may loose your job before then, or you may have to wait several months to find a psychiatrist who will take you and schedule an appointment. Some doctors may have a waiting line of a few months.

You can go to this site and find a doctor that can work with you based on your income level.
http://findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov/Search_HCC.aspx

Find a clinic near you, call them and explain your financial situation, and at the moment, you don't have medical insurance. It's also important to stress that you are having severe depression. Once you confirm a clinic that can assist you, immediately drive there and get help.

Also please also bookmark this page: 
http://www.adaa.org/finding-help/treatment/low-cost-treatment

Check the links on that page, and you will be directed to services catered to those without insurance, from getting psychiatric treatment.

Don't ever go of your medication, even if you are temporarily unemployed , or your lost your last insurance coverage to cover it. There are methods to get medication, even if you don't have the money, at the moment, to afford it.


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## oscine

I would strongly recommend she see her family physician, firstly, to determine the nature of the illness...whether it may be physiological due to a severe deficiency in her diet or whether it is psychiatric. If the latter, her doctor may be able to give her an _immediate_ referral to a psychiatrist.


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## hdth

oscine said:


> Taking a day off here and there is a short-term solution to a long-term problem. Depression is not alleviated by taking a day off. It is ongoing. This person needs to see her family doctor who would be in a position to determine whether she needs psychiatric intervention and, if so, advise the employer; otherwise, the employer can indeed terminate her employ.


I agree.

I think you should go see a physician or a therapist and that should be your first priority. Treating depression like the common cold is a big no no. Its not going to get better faster by just sitting at home. In fact sitting at home can feed depression. Its a rhythm that you have to break. Depression is going to make you want to lock your doors, close your windows and sleep. When in reality it will make you feel better if you kept yourself occupied. When my dad went through his divorce, he painted his house(which didnt need to be painted) over again the same color. He told me it kept his mind off of depression.


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## Focus123

OP - I agree with the others telling you to take your depression as a serious health concern. It is not akin to the common cold, where you can get over it after a few days, with a few nights of good rest and some doses of NyQuil. Unlike getting over the cold, your depression still comes back. From experience, I know if you don't manage your depression, it only gets worse. Some people have to take off work for months, or even years, because they don't take their depression seriously, and ward off the idea of being on medication. And when you're unemployed, you're more prone to not get insurance, which can cover the high costs of medication and doctor visits. If you don't have any money, you more than likely won't have access to these things, and your depression will just get worse and worse, since by then, it will be a challenge to get any medication, so you probably won't bother.

However I'm not saying everyone should take medication to deal with depression, but you sound like the case, like me, where you are one of those people that need to be on medication, because you'll miss work if you are depressed. People who can handle their depression won't miss work, but people with severe depression will.

Also one of the other posters wrote:
_
>>>If the latter, her doctor may be able to give her an immediate referral to a psychiatrist. _

I know this is true. My doctor knew another psychiatrist, and was able for me to see her later in the week, because my doctor deemed it necessary, so I could avoid the wait time. Some people have to wait a month of so to see a psychiatrist, if they just call in.

Also I'm writing these things, because I'm in my thirties, and I have a lot of experience in handling mental illness. My biggest regret is to not take it seriously until the mental illness starting effing up my work performance and other parts of my life where I couldn't even get out of bed. If on the proper medication, I would have avoided a lot of unnecessary calamity, caused by mental illness.

Lesson learned, though.


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## wayfreshnclean

Depression and social anxiety are real health issues, just like any other medical challenge. It can be so crippling/debilitating that it can stop every day functions that are necessary to sustain your life and general necessities.

*The big problem is that mental health does have a stigma and businesses and companies need to make money at the end of the day. Reliable and proficient employees are necessary for any business to see. *

Someone that faces depression and social anxiety will have a hard time living up to that task.

While a doctor's note can be helpful, letting your employer know that you have mental health issues can also make you more socially anxious. But if you feel like that's not a problem, then by all means do whatcha gotta do.


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## Nanami

Focus123 said:


> OP - I agree with the others telling you to take your depression as a serious health concern. It is not akin to the common cold, where you can get over it after a few days, with a few nights of good rest and some doses of NyQuil. Unlike getting over the cold, your depression still comes back. From experience, I know if you don't manage your depression, it only gets worse. Some people have to take off work for months, or even years, because they don't take their depression seriously, and ward off the idea of being on medication. And when you're unemployed, you're more prone to not get insurance, which can cover the high costs of medication and doctor visits. If you don't have any money, you more than likely won't have access to these things, and your depression will just get worse and worse, since by then, it will be a challenge to get any medication, so you probably won't bother.
> 
> However I'm not saying everyone should take medication to deal with depression, but you sound like the case, like me, where you are one of those people that need to be on medication, because you'll miss work if you are depressed. People who can handle their depression won't miss work, but people with severe depression will.
> 
> Also I'm writing these things, because I'm in my thirties, and I have a lot of experience in handling mental illness. My biggest regret is to not take it seriously until the mental illness starting effing up my work performance and other parts of my life where I couldn't even get out of bed. If on the proper medication, I would have avoided a lot of unnecessary calamity, caused by mental illness.
> 
> Lesson learned, though.


Thanks everyone. Well I just signed up for insurance and it starts Oct. 1st. I've been seeing a therapist and he always mentions he thinks it would be a good idea for me to take medication. I don't really know exactly what's wrong with me honestly. When I was seeing a psychiatrist last year (I had already seen my physician and they referred me to him.) he told me he thinks I'm schizophrenic but that we would never know for sure unless I stop taking my medication. I'm still not sure about it but my mom was diagnosed with bipolar, schizophrenia and OCD.


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## Nanami

wayfreshnclean said:


> Depression and social anxiety are real health issues, just like any other medical challenge. It can be so crippling/debilitating that it can stop every day functions that are necessary to sustain your life and general necessities.
> 
> *The big problem is that mental health does have a stigma and businesses and companies need to make money at the end of the day. Reliable and proficient employees are necessary for any business to see. *
> 
> Someone that faces depression and social anxiety will have a hard time living up to that task.
> 
> While a doctor's note can be helpful, letting your employer know that you have mental health issues can also make you more socially anxious. But if you feel like that's not a problem, then by all means do whatcha gotta do.


I'm just going to deal with it. I've never quit a job or called off even at my worst. I ended up giving that one shift away but took someone else's shift a couple days later because someone got fired. I'm seeing a therapist and I'm going to see a psychiatrist once my insurance kicks in. I don't really see the benefit in telling my manager about any of it because it's not like I'm going to take time off.


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