# Worried about CBT therapy



## Reveriending (Oct 19, 2014)

So after going through a couple therapists that I found incredibly fake and lacking in knowledge, I believe I finally found the 'right one.' She's very kind, compassionate, empathetic, intelligent. She's also suffered from anxiety and depression during her past-time.

We had a great first session, and I was really looking forward to the next. However on the second session I kinda felt like we were meandering and didn't get very far. Most of it was a waste of a session. On the third session, we started on CBT and I didn't feel like we were heading on the right path. It felt kinda superficial, in a sense. She was telling me all this basic stuff and how my negative thought patterns are influencing bad behavior and that they should be changed. I really wanted to tell her that this is stupid and that I wanted to delve into my deeper issues and go to the root of them and such, but out of respect for her I tried to take the session seriously.

I don't know anymore. I've been doing some reading on psycho-dynamic therapy and felt that was what I wanted. She's the only therapist that I've felt that is actually qualified for the job, but I'm very doubtful about CBT. It seems like it would help people who only have mild anxiety and/or depression.

What should I do at this point? Try to give it another go? Or call it quits. She's a lovely person but I can't help thinking I'm going nowhere and that CBT is ridiculous. But obviously I'm not qualified to say so, and would like to hear your opinion on the matter.

Thanks.


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## Triumph (Jan 16, 2015)

I would go again. From the research I've done, it seems CBT, although very slow, is the only proven therapy that works, at least from what I read. 
It seems you want to go deeper and discuss personal issues, can you do that as well as the CBT?


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## Reveriending (Oct 19, 2014)

Triumph said:


> I would go again. From the research I've done, it seems CBT, although very slow, is the only proven therapy that works, at least from what I read.
> It seems you want to go deeper and discuss personal issues, can you do that as well as the CBT?


I'm very doubtful about it right now. I mean, she's a lovely person and I'm all for working with her. It's just that I don't feel like we're getting anywhere. It feels as though she's just trying to change my thought pattern to think positively, which seems to me like it's just scratching the surface.

I should probably address my concerns to her before next session and see what she thinks. I would really like to address the roots of my issues rather then just pretend that these negative thoughts are poisonous and should be "re-wired."

My doctor said that she was successful with her patients, which gives me a glimpse of hope, but then I wonder how serious her patients' problems were in the first place.

I mean, I know it'll take time, but I just want to feel like I'm heading on the right path, is all.


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## Triumph (Jan 16, 2015)

Reveriending said:


> I should probably address my concerns to her before next session and see what she thinks. I would really like to address the roots of my issues rather then just pretend that these negative thoughts are poisonous and should be "re-wired."


I know what you mean, it's like, you have certain feelings for a reason so sift through them and see why they're there before casting them aside.


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

@Reveriending, I can relate to a lot of what you're saying, because I've felt the same way recently except with, not CBT, but DBT. Cognitive behavioral therapy, in essence, is basically common sense psychology: Identify a distorted thought/emotional fallacy then replace it with a more "positive" external viewpoint. (I'm not sure if I explained that well), but it's what most therapists would use. I was extremely frustrated with the form of therapy called DBT because I, too, didn't feel like it went to the root of the problem. And because of that, it made me start to think DBT was bull**** and not for me, which I know isn't 100% accurate because it has worked for many, many people. Lot's of positive testimonials. It just didn't seem to resolve my issues in its applied method. The mind is tricky because it/you knows almost exactly what it needs but not quite sure how to get it.

With that said, I would still say stick with your therapist because you can communicate with her and you've mentioned that she's compassionate and empathic. If you feel frustrated, you can certainly bring it up, maybe even brainstorm how to get to the root of the problem instead of leaving it up to the therapist. I'm not sure what else to say, but I can definitely relate having felt the exact same thing with yet a completely different method of therapy, so it can't be the mode of therapy itself. CBT is probably the standard for a lot of anxiety and depression issues. Other issues like, grief, maybe not so much. But I wouldn't put it down quite yet since for some, it definitely does work with their frame of mind. Like the same with me and DBT, it's maybe not a great fit. Keep trying though. Communicate even if you think what she's trying to "push" on you isn't working and you want to give up.


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

Actually I take back what I said since it might/maybe? seem like I'm saying, "screw this treatment because it doesn't work." What's probably more accurate, I've heard, is that one model of therapy is neither better or worse. They're just different. So anyway, yea. Keep trying and good luck to you.


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## Reveriending (Oct 19, 2014)

coeur_brise said:


> @Reveriending, I can relate to a lot of what you're saying, because I've felt the same way recently except with, not CBT, but DBT. Cognitive behavioral therapy, in essence, is basically common sense psychology: Identify a distorted thought/emotional fallacy then replace it with a more "positive" external viewpoint. (I'm not sure if I explained that well), but it's what most therapists would use. I was extremely frustrated with the form of therapy called DBT because I, too, didn't feel like it went to the root of the problem. And because of that, it made me start to think DBT was bull**** and not for me, which I know isn't 100% accurate because it has worked for many, many people. Lot's of positive testimonials. It just didn't seem to resolve my issues in its applied method. The mind is tricky because it/you knows almost exactly what it needs but not quite sure how to get it.
> 
> With that said, I would still say stick with your therapist because you can communicate with her and you've mentioned that she's compassionate and empathic. If you feel frustrated, you can certainly bring it up, maybe even brainstorm how to get to the root of the problem instead of leaving it up to the therapist. I'm not sure what else to say, but I can definitely relate having felt the exact same thing with yet a completely different method of therapy, so it can't be the mode of therapy itself. CBT is probably the standard for a lot of anxiety and depression issues. Other issues like, grief, maybe not so much. But I wouldn't put it down quite yet since for some, it definitely does work with their frame of mind. Like the same with me and DBT, it's maybe not a great fit. Keep trying though. Communicate even if you think what she's trying to "push" on you isn't working and you want to give up.


I guess it just kinda sucks when we want to just solve our problems but don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I mean I've browsed the forums and so many people are unsatisfied with their therapy that it worries me even more.

I think the most important factors are finding the right therapist to connect with and the will to get better. I think I'm going to vent to my therapist on my concerns and doubts moving forward just so that we're on the same page, and at the very least I can hear what she has to say.

I wish the best of luck to you too; we will get through this, no matter what.


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

^thanks, you too. I'd keep in mind that we can be really quick to judge a therapist and how well things are going. I mean, I can definitely recall times where I think to myself, "That wasn't so bad, but I'd quit so now I'm nowhere." As in I thought some therapists weren't helping, but I quit at the time. A combo of willingness to change and understanding is good. like they say, hindsight is 20/20 but awareness is pretty good too.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

It sounds like what you want is counselling or talk therapy.

CBT is an active method for people who already know they have problems to overcome them. 

It's not always necessary to fully understand the roots of your problems for CBT to be successful in helping you overcome them.

The more old-fashioned talk therapy is for people who aren't really sure what their issues are and want to try and understand them.


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