# Why won't he tell me???



## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

.


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## Louis (Jun 30, 2009)

Hate to say this but that is definitely not going to become a serious relationship. If him cheating or leaving you for another girl is going to hurt you it's probably a good time to jump ship. Dating just for fun is perfectly acceptable - and thats probably how he see's it. If you need loyalty and a serious relationship theres a ton of red flags there.


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## Witan (Jun 13, 2009)

Kathykook said:


> Tried to get my boyfriend to tell me when the last time he had sex was.....he came up with lame *** excuse, "I can't remember," HAH yea right.
> Im so sickof this ****. I've tried to get him to spill the beans about him and his exes, but he brushes it off.
> He says, "I don't believe in love anymore......because I was hurt when I was in love." I asked him who he was in love with and he won't reply!!!! I think it's my right to know this ****!!!!
> He told me that he cheated on a few of his girlfriends, but he refuses to give me details!!!
> ...


It seems like this relationship really has no future. That's just my brutally honest opinion from what you wrote.

I think it's probably time you both go your separate ways.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

Why is he your boyfriend again?


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

It almost sounds like he doesn't take you seriously enough to be open and honest with you. I wouldn't nag him about it too much, but maybe bring it up again later on. If he continues to close up over and over then there's zero chance this relationship will succeed. I'm not going to condemn it yet, but if he can't talk about his past relationships and how it has affected him as a person then what else can't he open up about? That being said, this hasn't been going on for very long so maybe just give it some time before you bring up these topics again.


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## RiversEdge (Aug 21, 2011)

I don't think the past should ever be brought up in a relationship.
Whatever happened is over with.
If you feel insecure and a lack of trust now - it's over already.
Why continue in misery?

It sounds like a lot of game playing too.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

If he doesn't believe in love at all then why is he in a relationship, and furthermore, why are you in a relationship with someone who as far as they are concerned has no intention of loving you?


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

Keeps you guessing eh?

Dude knows what he is doing. And he is on the right track.


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## RiversEdge (Aug 21, 2011)

heroin said:


> Keeps you guessing eh?
> 
> Dude knows what he is doing. And he is on the right track.


Plus being emotional and weak, a guy can run games on you.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Any guy or girl who purposely plays games like that can seriously go **** themselves.


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## RiversEdge (Aug 21, 2011)

Ospi said:


> Any guy or girl who purposely plays games like that can seriously go **** themselves.


Agreed. I don't have time for that in my life at all.


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## squidlette (Jan 9, 2012)

RiversEdge said:


> I don't think the past should ever be brought up in a relationship.
> Whatever happened is over with.
> If you feel insecure and a lack of trust now - it's over already.
> Why continue in misery?
> ...


I'm with you. I'm really into respecting privacy and letting bygones be bygones. Feeling the need to pester someone about their history screams insecurity to me..... but at the same time, it really doesn't sound like he wants a relationship at all and may very well be playing headgames. Run, Kathy!


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## RiversEdge (Aug 21, 2011)

squidlette said:


> I'm with you. I'm really into respecting privacy and letting bygones be bygones. Feeling the need to pester someone about their history screams insecurity to me..... but at the same time, it really doesn't sound like he wants a relationship at all and may very well be playing headgames. Run, Kathy!


Much agreed.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

squidlette:1059866814 said:


> RiversEdge said:
> 
> 
> > I don't think the past should ever be brought up in a relationship.
> ...


I also agree that pestering someone about their history does scream insecurity...but if you can't be open about your past then you either have something to hide that is an insecurity in itself, or you just don't want to get too close to the person. I don't think kook should nag about it, but not knowing anything about a person's past relationships when you're in one now with him is concerning, and is no way to lead a healthy relationship. Let bygones be bygones? Give me a break - relationships with others (whether family, friends, or significant others) are what make people who they are, so not knowing a little bit about something so important is debilitating to the relationship. IMO if you're going to bother to be in a relationship you should give 110% and this kid isn't. Is kook being too overbearing? Maybe, but good thing she shed some light on this now, early on.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

I hate this ****ing game as well and I don't want to play it. I want him to just be honest and open with everything like I was with him. I don't see the point of withholding any information anymore....it's stupid. I told him everything on purpose, so that I would feel comfortable around him. But the fact that he hides his past makes me feel extremely insecure & inadequate. If this is the way it's going to work out for him, I am going to play the game too by withholding sexy time.

I'm not being annoying about it at all....he just casually told me that he cheated/was cheated on when I asked him why he didn't believe in love. And when I tried to get more details about it later on, he refused to talk about it

I really do like him as a person and I don't want to break up with him. But I've found this personality flaw that involves girls, relationships and me.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

Kathykook said:


> If this is the way it's going to work out for him, I am going to play the game too by withholding sexy time.


Ah! Relationship drama... What would romance be without it.... except a billion times less stressful.

I should probably subscribe to this thread and fetch some popcorn.


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

Why would you want to know about your boyfriend's(or girlfriend's) past relationships?

I know that's the last thing I want to know about if I had a girlfriend.



Kathykook said:


> Tried to get my boyfriend to tell me when the last time he had sex was.....he came up with lame *** excuse, "I can't remember,"
> He says, "I don't believe in love anymore......because I was hurt when I was in love." I asked him who he was in love with and he won't reply!!!! I think it's my right to know this ****!!!!
> 
> I met one of his exes at a party with him a few days ago and he said, "oh....well she wasn't really my girlfriend, we were more like friends." seriously.....wtf? How many chicks has this guy banged??? Why can't he just ****ing tell me???!!!!! It's driving me nuts.


I just read the OP. I think he's either using you OR he's never really had a real relationship and is ashamed to tell you about it. Maybe his "exes" were just random hook-ups.

Whatever it is, he's insecure about it.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

I think she has every right to ask about his romantic history. And he has every right to not disclose it to her.


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## OldSchoolSkater (Jun 3, 2011)

You must have JUST started dating him, since less than a couple weeks ago you were trying to find a boyfriend. 

So my advice is this, give him time. If I started dating a girl right now I'd certainly have a very difficult time talking about my past relationships, including when I had cheat all those years back. It's a sketchy thing and he probably doesn't want you to think things about him based on that - he rather start fresh and see if he can do better than he has in the past. This doesn't say anything bad about you - it's just him and his comfort level. Once you spend some more time together and learn more about one another through that he might be more apt to tell you these types of things as his comfort level goes up. 

Don't make a big deal out of it, because it might scare him off. Give him time!


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## Don Gio (Dec 14, 2011)

Become a lesbian....


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

It sounds like you want a relationship but he doesn't. Run away Kathy. Why is this guy your boyfriend? You're a female and not unattractive. You can get all the sexy time you want basically and he's not going to give you the relationship you want so why are you with him?


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## UgShy (Mar 6, 2012)

Doesn't sound like it will last


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

You sound a little crazy, and I am sure that you sound that way to him. He probably does not take you seriously. I think you are better off walking away and sorting yourself out first before attaching yourself to a guy.


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## OldSchoolSkater (Jun 3, 2011)

Games?

Not letting his brand new girlfriend pick his brain about every aspect of his previous relationships is considered playing games? 

Then it seems that I will always be playing games, as I find my past helps define who I am but it does not mean I want to share it with everyone. Especially not with a girl I just started dating. Let him warm up to you and maybe he'll share more, and if he doesn't than I don't think that is anything to worry about. Pestering him about this kind of stuff seems rude and if you don't respect his wishes, to not talk about it now, than you already know what you need to do.

Either accept it or move on. Don't guilt him into this. There could be a whole lot of hurt he doesn't want to reopen, or he may just not feel comfortable yet. 

Not everybody needs to share everything with everyone else.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

matty said:


> You sound a little crazy, and I am sure that you sound that way to him. He probably does not take you seriously. I think you are better off walking away and sorting yourself out first before attaching yourself to a guy.


Agreed.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

Haha, I like how everyone always calls me crazy on my threads. You don't even know me. I am pretty level headed. I do freak out every now and then...but I think that's pretty normal considering the whole SA/OCD thing I'm predisposed to.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

^ Crazy was kind of harsh.


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## RiversEdge (Aug 21, 2011)

Kathykook said:


> Haha, I like how everyone always calls me crazy on my threads. You don't even know me. I am pretty level headed. I do freak out every now and then...but I think that's pretty normal considering the whole SA/OCD thing I'm predisposed to.


I think you are just freaking out because your emotionally involved with a guy who is hurting you. You aren't crazy -- I understand as a woman -- this stuff makes us feel crazy - because none of it makes sense!!

But seriously, I think you need to be very strong and stop tormenting yourself with this guy and move on.
Someone better is right around the corner!


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## foe (Oct 10, 2010)

Kathy needs a party boy type of guy.


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## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

The red flags are there yet you seem to want to ignore them. All I can say is, any pain or misery you feel he is not to blame.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Kathykook said:


> Haha, I like how everyone always calls me crazy on my threads. You don't even know me. I am pretty level headed. I do freak out every now and then...but I think that's pretty normal considering the whole SA/OCD thing I'm predisposed to.


Maybe not crazy, but you constantly posts these kinds of threads a lot about guy problems and tend to freak out about them which is not healthy. There have been people that try to give advice including myself and I'm not even sure if you follow them because you keep posting similar problems over and over again venting about guys.

Stay away from these guys for your own and the guys' sakes. That's the answer to your problem (mostly).

Do you get what I'm saying? Not trying to be harsh.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

thegoodtimes said:


> Maybe not crazy, but you constantly posts these kinds of threads a lot about guy problems and tend to freak out about them which is not healthy. There have been people that try to give advice including myself and I'm not even sure if you follow them because you keep posting similar problems over and over again venting about guys.
> 
> Stay away from these guys for your own and the guys' sakes. That's the answer to your problem (mostly).
> 
> Do you get what I'm saying? Not trying to be harsh.


You should take note of your own pointers when it comes to your threads.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Ospi said:


> You should take note of your own pointers when it comes to your threads.


Was that even necessary?

Also, I took the advice and am working on my relationship with me and my boyfriend at least.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

thegoodtimes said:


> Was that even necessary?


Well it's pretty hypocritical to have a go at her for something you do yourself.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Ospi said:


> Well it's pretty hypocritical to have a go at her for something you do yourself.


I read every piece of advice given from my threads and take note of them. I reread them too because they ARE helpful. Currently I'm working on my relationship with my boyfriend with the whole jealously issue. That doesn't make me a hypocrite.

I'm not here to start a flame war. I just want OP to be the best she can be which is by getting away from these guys and stop smoking weed. That's all. I don't like seeing people suffer like that.


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## matty (Nov 2, 2009)

Sorry I did not sugarcoat it, but hours later I stand by it. 

I don't know kathy in person and wont. Hence why I said 'sounds' 

I still think that Kathy is putting herself in this situation, and would be much better to find stability by herself, or date someone she is more compatible with. If one is running solely on emotion with someone which draws out a negative side of you then that is not healthy and you will do a lot of things which are out of character.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Take him to IHOP and buy him some pancakes.

Seriously, I think you are pressing a bit too much too fast.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

millenniumman75 said:


> Take him to IHOP and buy him some pancakes.
> 
> Seriously, I think you are pressing a bit too much too fast.


yeah, i think he deserves pancakes. best advice ever.

my gf hasn't told me about her previous relationship. i just respect her privacy. i joke about it sometimes and would like to know. but if she doesn't wanna go there... whatevs. she has her reasons. better to try to just enjoy our time together. i don't wanna be the kind of partner that nags and wont let go of things. i get hung up on things sometimes, but i realise its happening and let go as soon as i can.

people are so quick to label people as narcissists and dicks, etc. people are flawed and have histories. that doesn't mean those things define them.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

matty said:


> I still think that Kathy is putting herself in this situation, and would be much better to find stability by herself, or date someone she is more compatible with. If one is running solely on emotion with someone which draws out a negative side of you then that is not healthy and you will do a lot of things which are out of character.


Exactly.


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## Jenikyula gone mad (Nov 9, 2009)

millenniumman75 said:


> Take him to IHOP and buy him some pancakes.
> 
> Seriously, I think you are pressing a bit too much too fast.


I agree. OP, you have to either accept that his past really isn't any of your business unless you are in an extremely committed very long-term relationship! If you cannot accept that, then break up with him and find someone who wants to tell you everything about themselves. *But you do not have an automatic right to know! * You're feeling jealousy, and that is an extremely destructive emotion in any relationship. Instead of focusing on this guy, focus on controlling your jealousy because it's turning you into a crazy person.


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## hoddesdon (Jul 28, 2011)

^ oops, she doesn't like being called crazy.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

millenniumman75 said:


> Take him to IHOP and buy him some pancakes.
> 
> Seriously, I think you are pressing a bit too much too fast.


I agree with this too.


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

First of all, what makes you think you have any right to know any of his past? You don't. Not unless something from his past could affect your health or well-being (like a stalker ex or a STD). It's his private business and it's a bonus (and a major sign of trust) if he decides to share any of it with you. For you to demand that he must share such information with you is wrong.

Second, the guy I'm interested in (and him in I) is *very* careful with what he shares of himself after being hurt, but has shockingly opened up very much about both his sexual and relationship history within the last few weeks....and I'm not even dating him! If your boyfriend won't share anything with you and cheats on you as well, this relationship is already over to him.

You may want to work on not getting so aggressive and demanding with guys... especially about their past. It's a huge red flag to them. It's almost a guaranteed ticket to a break up.


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## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

CourtneyB said:


> First of all, what makes you think you have any right to know any of his past? You don't. Not unless something from his past could affect your health or well-being (like a stalker ex or a STD). It's his private business and it's a bonus (and a major sign of trust) if he decides to share any of it with you. For you to demand that he must share such information with you is wrong.
> 
> The guy I'm interested in (and him in I) is *very* careful with what he shares of himself after being hurt, but has shockingly opened up very much about both his sexual and relationship history....and I'm not even dating him! If your boyfriend won't share anything with you and cheats on you as well, this relationship is already over to him.
> 
> You may want to work on not getting so pushy and aggressive with guys... especially about their past. _*It's a huge red flag to them*_.


^this gal gets it


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

I don't understand why it's such a red flag? If I'm careful about what I stick in my *****, I wanna know his sexual history!!!! Nothing wrong with that!!!


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## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

Kathykook said:


> I don't understand why it's such a red flag? If I'm careful about what I stick in my *****, I wanna know his sexual history!!!! Nothing wrong with that!!!


^ this gal doesnt get it


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

Wtf y'all have some of the most wack views out of all the human beings on the planet!!!!!
You guys are just predisposed to hiding **** from everyone....which is WRONG. If you're in a relationship, you should be incredibly open about everything and willing to discuss anything with your partner, or **** is not going to work out. Quit living in your shut in world!!!!
I'm going to get it out of him eventually. I'm going to get it ALL out of him


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

Living like this is NOT healthy.......I don't even know why I bother to consult you guys....you guys DEFINATELY don't know what healthy communication is supposed to feel like.
I should be able to discuss anything I want with him freely and openly. So he was hurt in the past? I was too....and I TOLD him everything that happened. And so I feel GOOD about it. He'll probably feel Hella good after he tells me everything as well.


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## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

it aint because if he was hurt he doesnt want to talk about it cause it is traumatizing to him, he doesnt care to share the information he's with you now, the past is the past, and if someday he wants to share with you that info he will, dont force him or nag him about it, that is that red flag we are talking about, the only thing about his sexual history you have a right to know about is if he's carrying some sort of disease


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

Kathykook said:


> I don't understand why it's such a red flag? If I'm careful about what I stick in my *****, I wanna know his sexual history!!!! Nothing wrong with that!!!


Because it makes you look needy, possessive and obsessive. Especially if you ask as much and as aggressively as you claim. No wonder he is pulling away. Though a real man would just break up with you instead of being a coward and cheating on you.

I understand want you to know, *believe me*. I am lucky my crush is willing to be open with me and share. I'm anal about not getting a STD or getting pregnant. But the closest you'll get to having that security of knowing he is clean is to wear adequate protection and demand a STD test (but if he is currently cheating on you then he can easily catch something from the other female if careless, so I suggest always wearing a condom and picking better guys to date). I already told my crush that before we do anything sexual he has to get a STD test. He's fine with it. He knows how important my health is to me. Any guy who truly wants to be with you and cares about you won't mind submitting to one.


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## Col (Mar 18, 2012)

Kathykook said:


> Wtf y'all have some of the most wack views out of all the human beings on the planet!!!!!
> You guys are just predisposed to hiding **** from everyone....which is WRONG. If you're in a relationship, you should be incredibly open about everything and willing to discuss anything with your partner, or **** is not going to work out. Quit living in your shut in world!!!!
> I'm going to get it out of him eventually. I'm going to get it ALL out of him


If it's an consolation.. I agree with you. And I would be just as pissed.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Kathy dear you are too emotionally unstable for a healthy relationship right now. If I acted like this towards a woman, she would bolt so fast. lol. If it's a girl doing it, lots of guys won't care so as long as she is pretty (sometimes it's just enough for her to have a vagina) and he gets his sexy time. Men have like no standards when they think with their little brain. But after he's had his fun, he'll ditch you.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

phoenixwright said:


> Kathy dear you are too emotionally unstable for a healthy relationship right now. If I acted like this towards a woman, she would bolt so fast. lol. If it's a girl doing it, lots of guys won't care so as long as she is pretty (sometimes it's just enough for her to have a vagina) and he gets his sexy time. Men have like no standards when they think with their little brain. But after he's had his fun, he'll ditch you.


How is wanting someone to be open (after you've been completely open to them) mean I am unstable? Lmao..I'm sorry but I've seen girls go to the point of stalking/harassing/teasing to no end to keep men on their feet. I'm NO WHERE near the way most of my friends are about guys. I give this guy A LOT of lenience/room for himself. I am not needy/ up his ***. I just want him to ****ing tell me the truth.
Oh....and the girl who was always up her boyfriend's *** is now happily engaged to him.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

I'm sorry but compared to what I've experienced in real life, dating is TOTALLY different from what some of you guys on here make it out to be. People are a lot more open/honest with each other out there in the real world


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

Oh, and he has had plenty of fun with me.....and he has yet to ditch me.


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

Kathy, the more replies I see from you, the more unstable and crazy you sound.

I don't know why you came here expecting all of us to agree with you and take your side when you have no right to demand what you're asking for. You made the choice to be completely open. He made the choice to not be open about his past. Respect his choice and stay in the present or ditch him for someone more open and revealing like yourself.

If you dont want to hear others' opinions that could be opposite of yours, then don't ask. 

PS why would he ditch you when he can cheat on you while still getting his "sexy time" from you, too? It's like having your cake and eating it too...and what guy would want to give that up? :roll


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## Col (Mar 18, 2012)

Wow. You people are being cruel and insensitive. Is this a bullying site now?
She is not unstable nor crazy. She's showing perfectly normal and understandable emotions actually. 
Yea, I agree that you should probably dump him. Because being open and honest IS very very important in a relationship. I don't know whats with these people and being fine with closed and secretive "relationships" but it isn't good. 
I'm sorry that this site is being less than supportive to you. I know how ****ty it can feel when someone is hiding stuff from you, especially someone you like/care about. 
Feel free to PM.


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## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

Col said:


> Wow. You people are being cruel and insensitive. Is this a bullying site now?
> She is not unstable nor crazy. She's showing perfectly normal and understandable emotions actually.
> Yea, I agree that you should probably dump him. Because being open and honest IS very very important in a relationship. I don't know whats with these people and being fine with closed and secretive "relationships" but it isn't good.
> I'm sorry that this site is being less than supportive to you. I know how ****ty it can feel when someone is hiding stuff from you, especially someone you like/care about.
> Feel free to PM.


since when is criticism bullying?? shes being pushy about it, its really not that serious...


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## Col (Mar 18, 2012)

50piecesteve said:


> since when is criticism bullying?? shes being pushy about it, its really not that serious...


Calling someone crazy and unstable is bullying. I'm pretty sure my feelings would be freaking hurt if someone started calling me that. Insensitive.


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## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

Col said:


> Calling someone crazy and unstable is bullying. I'm pretty sure my feelings would be freaking hurt if someone started calling me that. Insensitive.


truth hurts sometimes, id rather someone be *OPEN AND HONEST *with me, and if i see fit, I would correct my behavior


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## Col (Mar 18, 2012)

50piecesteve said:


> truth hurts sometimes, id rather someone be *OPEN AND HONEST *with me, and if i see fit, I would correct my behavior


If you want to go around insulting people and making them feel like crap, I don't think this is the site for it.

Maybe I'll just start going around calling everyone here "crazy" and "unstable" because they can't socialize. I'm sure that will make this place a lovely place to get support. :roll


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## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

Col said:


> If you want to go around insulting people and making them feel like crap, I don't think this is the site for it.
> 
> Maybe I'll just start going around calling everyone here "crazy" and "unstable" because they can't socialize. I'm sure that will make this place a lovely place to get support. :roll


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

Kathykook said:


> I don't even know why I bother to consult you guys....


Because it fills your pathological need for attention, amirite?


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## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

bezoomny said:


> Because it fills your pathological need for attention, amirite?


^ winner!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

Alright, thanks for criticizing me after I tried to seek advice from people who clearly don't know a SINGLE **** about relationships....except for whatever exists in a fantasy world. I am going through a difficult time right now and this is just what I need. I'm going to think twice before making a thread on this ****ing site again.
Go outside and smell a human being for once in your life


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

Kathykook said:


> Alright, thanks for criticizing me after I tried to seek advice from people who clearly don't know a SINGLE **** about relationships and am going through a difficult time right now. I'm going to think twice before making a thread on this ****ing site again


You're welcome.


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## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

Kathykook said:


> Alright, thanks for criticizing me after I tried to seek advice from people who clearly don't know a SINGLE **** about relationships....except for whatever exists in a fantasy world. I am going through a difficult time right now and this is just what I need. I'm going to think twice before making a thread on this ****ing site again.
> Go outside and smell a human being for once in your life


haha you wonder why you get criticized?? cause you act like were all the same here. That were just losers who stay inside and dont mingle with people and have never had a relationship, and that your the queen bee here its funny cause its actually you who doesnt know **** about relationships if your being a pushy towards a guy to get him to share his life story with you, thats creepy man, you need to take a long look in the mirror before you judge the people here.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

50piecesteve said:


> haha you wonder why you get criticized?? cause you act like were all the same here. That were just losers who stay inside and dont mingle with people and have never had a relationship, and that your the queen bee here its funny cause its actually you who doesnt know **** about relationships if your being a pushy towards a guy to get him to share his life story with you, thats creepy man, you need to take a long look in the mirror before you judge the people here.


Wow. You should swallow your own advice


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## 50piecesteve (Feb 28, 2012)

Kathykook said:


> Wow. You should swallow your own advice


i never judged you, i just gave my opinion and you didnt like it...........


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## VaeVictis (Jan 18, 2012)

Hello Miss Kook

I'm just going to try and answer your question and avoid the topic of your sanity. Enough has been discussed already.

I can only think of one legitimate reason why he won't speak about his past: _He doesn't want to be judged for it_. Either he's gone through something very painful to him or he's done something he's ashamed about and he's afraid of your reaction to it. 
You may think of yourself of as an accepting and understanding person but reality tends to prove otherwise to some people. If you're not willing to accept everything about a person, no matter how good or bad, then no, you have no right to know anything about them they do not wish to divulge. More importantly, can you keep your mouth shut? As soon as people break up they tend to spill their SO's secrets to others.


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

Col said:


> Calling someone crazy and unstable is bullying. I'm pretty sure my feelings would be freaking hurt if someone started calling me that. Insensitive.


Correction: I said "the more crazy and unstable you *sound*". I never said she *was* crazy and unstable. And, no, it's not bullying in the least. Trying to help someone by telling them the truth (while stating opinion as well) without sugarcoating it is not bullying.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

50piecesteve said:


>


Haha!


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

I am sorry, but all the ***** in your every post is getting annoying.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Look it sounds like you're very unhappy with this guy. If he doesn't want to talk to you about his past no matter what even after talking it out, just leave the guy if he makes you so unhappy.

He sounds like he's playing games, not sure if he's a genuine guy. As you for though I think you need to calm down and stop freaking out so much.


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Jesus, no one in this thread is coming out of it smelling of roses. So much poop getting flung about in here :um


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## Col (Mar 18, 2012)

CourtneyB said:


> Correction: I said "the more crazy and unstable you *sound*". I never said she *was* crazy and unstable. And, no, it's not bullying in the least. Trying to help someone by telling them the truth (while stating opinion as well) without sugarcoating it is not bullying.


I guess no one here would be offended if I started saying you all *sound* crazy for getting panic attacks over the simplest social contact.
Sorry, I'm just offended because I actually know how she's feeling and have been through similar ****. Whether you're saying she sounds crazy or she is crazy, it's not support.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

I think we are all a little "crazy" or "emotionally unstable". I know I can be heh..


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Col said:


> I guess no one here would be offended if I started saying you all *sound* crazy for getting panic attacks over the simplest social contact.
> Sorry, I'm just offended because I actually know how she's feeling and have been through similar ****. Whether you're saying she sounds crazy or she is crazy, it's not support.


I know how she's feeling too, but people post differently. It's a public forum. I've been given harsh advice before on another forum and I took it as how it is. Thats the risk you take for posting on a forum with so many different kinds of people. I've been called mentally unstable and many other things. People are posting based on what she posts here, and there's always the report button when things get out of hand.


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## CourtneyB (Jul 31, 2010)

Col said:


> I guess no one here would be offended if I started saying you all *sound* crazy for getting panic attacks over the simplest social contact.
> Sorry, I'm just offended because I actually know how she's feeling and have been through similar ****. Whether you're saying she sounds crazy or she is crazy, it's not support.


Who is this "you all" you speak of? My panic attacks don't come about from social contact.

My problem was when she started going off on the same members she was seeking advice and opinions from just because they didn't give her the response she wanted.

But I understand. I know you are offended because you have felt the same way she does and agree with her. No hard feelings.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

komorikun said:


> I think it's okay to withhold information about your past but it's not cool to confess to cheating on your exes and say "I don't believe in love anymore......because I was hurt when I was in love." and then refuse to give details. If he didn't want to talk about it he should not have let those things slip.


That's what makes him sound shady thus I said I'm not sure if he's genuine.

Kathykook, stay away from the guy. I don't think he's good for you. If he doesn't want to share the details, you can't force him. Only he will when he feels like it, the more you push the more he'll be irritated about it.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

MidnightBlu said:


> That's what makes him sound shady thus I said I'm not sure if he's genuine.
> 
> Kathykook, stay away from the guy. I don't think he's good for you. If he doesn't want to share the details, you can't force him. Only he will when he feels like it, the more you push the more he'll be irritated about it.


You expect her to act rationally? Kathykook? never. I give this thread 50/50 odds it will end with kathy lying about being pregnant with his baby.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

You sound like a handful, OP. jus sayin....give the dude a break once and a while...your curiosity is probably natural but it comes off as insecure....do your thang i guess

If my girl kept asking me that I'd say "Does the hand count?"....or, "Do pornos count?"...or, "do you have a snickers? i think it's a sniker's moment"...or, "damn! you see that! (run)"....or, "does premature ej. count?"....


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