# What do you do to boost your sociability?



## Naked Ape (Apr 5, 2010)

For a person suffering from SA the problem of relating with people are first of all fear and anxiety.
But in the special cases you manage to get rid of them there is still a big one left behind : sociability.

I have always find it difficult to identify this third obstacle, because things I was taking to cope with anxiety (benzodiazepines and/or alcohol) boost also sociability a lot.
Lately I have been trying theanine which can relieve moderate social anxiety but it does not boost sociability.

I have to admit that it is not rare that when I meet by chance a person I know - a neighbour or a colleague, an acquaintance - the first problem is not anxiety but a kind of bad mood, grumpiness, as if I feel annoyed by other people getting close to me, expecting me greeting them or else.
I make frequently a mental speech to myself, an internal dialogue, and it is a very intimate thing, so when I meet some person that I know in a circumstance where I didn’t expect to meet him/her, I feel like he/she is braking my intimacy.
This can sounds kind of crazy, but frequently it is like this.
But also when I don’t have this internal dialogue I might feel like not interested in talking, greeting. I just feel grumpy, touchy ( SA is a lot about touchiness), a bit stiff.
So in a number of times, the first reaction at the risk of a social interaction is not even anxiety but irritation. At the same time the fact that people may feel unhappy of my mood puts me down, this create a kind of loop and the whole process spirals down.

I think this bad mood can be related to serotonin, which is also related with depression.
Luckily I don’t suffer from depression any longer, still I wonder which role serotonin and other neurotransmitter play in being socially stiff, irritated, and grumpy.

Besides benzodiazepines and alcohol (which both have quite bad side effects) does anybody know any other healthier thing to boost sociability?


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Gradual and repetitive exposure to social situations that provoke an anxious response, and beer =)


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## n1kkuh (Jul 11, 2008)

I can completely relate to your thought processes and sometimes when I'm in the middle of a thought and someone approaches me I have the same exact irritation you speak of, and then I feel bad for doing and acting that way. I've tried various medications, and maybe there is a chemical imbalance, but that's not to say medication is the ONLY way you will getting better.

For me, it seems that the stuff that I think about doesn't really need to be all that important, but I sure as hell make it important. Maybe you can try to realize that you aren't your thoughts and that when someone breaks your train of thought you can let it go and try to make it a point to allow the conversation to flow without dwelling on your thoughts. I know its not easy, but be forgiving of yourself along your way.

just my 2 c....


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## yogaflame (Jan 18, 2010)

Be yourself, but make an attempt to be courteous. You have to respect someone whether you like them or not. That's just the way it is. There are very simple rules for basic interaction. Others around you might break them but it doesn't matter as long as you maintain your dignity. You may like your thoughts or whatever (I don't like mine, actually) but they'll be guaranteed to come back anyways. Perhaps if I could have things my way, I'd never smile at others and ignore them. I also hate the fact that I have to wipe my *** each time I take a dump, but I gotta do it.

Also, I would advise against just going with the flow in a conversation, especially with someone you're not close to, like anything conversing is something that is takes practice to get good at. Start out slow and take it easy.


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