# Would you or have you ever been in an open relationship?



## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

I think that'd be really cool. Might have to try it sometime
you could smash hoes and have someone to cuddle at night 
win win ?


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## laysiaj (Jun 28, 2014)

That's rarely how it ends up. But good luck with the smashing hoes bit.


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

laysiaj said:


> That's rarely how it ends up. But good luck with the smashing hoes bit.


why not ? (seriously curious)


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

I understand why some people would want it, but I don't think I could ever do it.


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

Ntln said:


> I understand why some people would want it, but I don't think I could ever do it.


Because of jealousy?
I can see that being a problem


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## moloko (May 1, 2013)

No, I couldn't do it. I get jealous easily, it'd be too stressful. And if I get hung up on someone, that's the only person I'm interested in.


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## laysiaj (Jun 28, 2014)

Smashing hoes implies that you'll be going out and finding random women to have one night stands with. If I were your girlfriend, I would not let you touch me unless you got tested. All the time. Also, an open relationship sounds fun to most guys because they think about all the extra sex they can get; basically they get a free pass to cheat. I get that. Sex is great. But people have feelings. Someone almost always gets hurt in these situations. Unless there are clear rules and boundaries, you or the girlfriend are bound to fall for somebody else.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

CowGoMoo said:


> Because of jealousy?
> I can see that being a problem


Yeah. Anxiety mixed with certain attachment styles, you just often get jealous and worry about your partner's feelings more. I feel like the emotional stress of worrying about my partner not caring for me as much and being with other guys would be too much for me to make an open relationship a viable option. And part of me would feel guilty having sex with other women even if she said she was cool with it.


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

Screw that, couldn't do. I'd get way too jealous and resentful. "We're out of milk, I'll run to the store." "YEAH?? What's his name huh??"


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

.


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

crimeclub said:


> Screw that, couldn't do. I'd get way too jealous and resentful. "We're out of milk, I'll run to the store." "YEAH?? What's his name huh??"


Hahahahahaha! :clap 
Made my day


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## laysiaj (Jun 28, 2014)

CowGoMoo said:


> Oh no lol, definitely not one night stands. That's how you get an std real fast.
> What if you are with a girl that thinks about all the extra sex she can get too?
> There's so many of them, in fact I think the majority of girls wish they could **** without getting judged. You think it would work then ?


Sure, maybe for a little while. But eventually, it seems like the two of you would need more than the other had to offer, so why stay in a relationship?


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## laysiaj (Jun 28, 2014)

crimeclub said:


> Screw that, couldn't do. I'd get way too jealous and resentful. "We're out of milk, I'll run to the store." "YEAH?? What's his name huh??"


This makes me sad. 
And laugh out loud at the same time.:yes


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Yes. 

As long as it was mutual, boundaries/concerns were thoughtfully discussed and agreed to, and health and safety were etc....


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

No. What's mine is mine.


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

TicklemeRingo said:


> Yes.
> 
> As long as it was mutual, boundaries/concerns were thoughtfully discussed and agreed to, and health and safety were etc....


Hmm interesting, what kind of boundaries would you set ?


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

probably offline said:


> No. What's mine is mine.


Hahaha aww that's adorable


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## gamingpup (Jul 10, 2013)

I couldnt do it... Trying to satisfy multiple women would make me so exhausted... I'm too lazy for that **** I'd prefer just the one.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

No...I wouldn't be able to enjoy sex with someone else if I was in a relationship with someone I loved. Even if they were okay with it, I would just feel weird and uncomfortable.


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## Amphoteric (Sep 11, 2011)

To smash hoes? That sounds like unnecessarily aggressive farming.


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## DarrellLicht (Mar 9, 2013)

Amphoteric said:


> To smash hoes? That sounds like unnecessarily aggressive farming.


:clap

I don't consider myself promiscuous. A small amount of intimacy goes a long way for me.


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## DanTheOutlaw (May 29, 2014)

I never have and if I wasn't with my girlfriend now I wouldn't be remotely interested in a relationship in the future with anybody.


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

Ntln said:


> Yeah. Anxiety mixed with certain attachment styles, you just often get jealous and worry about your partner's feelings more. I feel like the emotional stress of worrying about my partner not caring for me as much and being with other guys would be too much for me to make an open relationship a viable option. And part of me would feel guilty having sex with other women even if she said she was cool with it.


Yeah i'm kind of attached too.. 
maybe it's not such a good idea lol


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## laysiaj (Jun 28, 2014)

CowGoMoo said:


> Yeah i'm kind of attached too..
> maybe it's not such a good idea lol


You never know. She might be cool with it.


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## Gwynevere (Oct 6, 2013)

Where do you expect to find all these hoes to smash? Half this site are virgins, it seems pretty unlikely that someone with SA is going out to clubs and picking up random chicks to have sex with every weekend.


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## zoslow (Jun 2, 2014)

Nop I'm a one woman man. And she better stick with the same philosophy or we're gonna have a big problem.


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

.


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

zoslow said:


> Nop I'm a one woman man. And she better stick with the same philosophy or we're gonna have a big problem.


Where are those girls man they all will leave you for some other dude anyways :'(


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

I have been and I probably would be again. Though I think it would be more challenging if my partner was female because I actually tend to develop strong feelings for females that I don't get for males. It would probably suck if I really cared about someone and I knew she was riding some other dude while I sat there thinking about it.


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## x Faceless x (Mar 13, 2011)

I could never do that. I'm way too jealous of a person, it would be endless torture. Plus I have no interest in anyone else besides my boyfriend, so there would be zero benefit for me.


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## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)

I definitely couldn't handle it. Especially when I get pretty jealous easily and I develop strong feelings for someone. Just...no. Once I mark my territory that means everyone else can f*** off.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

Amphoteric said:


> To smash hoes? That sounds like unnecessarily aggressive farming.


:clap

"Hoes" is such a oldschool term, let alone immature. :b


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

JustThisGuy said:


> :clap
> 
> "Hoes" is such a oldschool term, let alone immature. :b


Can't make a hoe a housewife


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

Perkins said:


> I definitely couldn't handle it. Especially when I get pretty jealous easily and I develop strong feelings for someone. Just...no. Once I mark my territory that means everyone else can f*** off.


Lololo! So jelly :3


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## purechaos (Dec 18, 2013)

I would actually qualify an "open" relationship as a true one. If you give freedom to someone to do as they wish and they remain loyal and faithful anyway, well I call that love my friend that needs no label to establish rule because they choose you anyway. There are so many that are in "relationships" and are not faithful or loyal. So I would say openness is reality, honesty, you find out how a person is. Now if you happen to be the faithful one and the other one is running around town. You can either run with it and see what happens or leave. But this is true in a "closed" relationship as well. You should always be "open" and honest in any "ship" that you sail. 

Who gets this?


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

The most successful relationship I know of is an open one. When you can be open about sleeping with someone else to your partner you can be open about anything, and honesty and solid communication is one of the most important attributes in a successful relationship. It all depends on if you can reach the mindset where you realize sex is just a silly act unless it's with someone you care about. And if the only person it becomes "love-making" with is your partner and with everyone else it's just purely for fun, then I don't see the issue. Of course, getting to that point usually requires a fair bit of experience and maturity so it's not for everyone. I don't think I could do it, but at the same time I do think it's more biologically natural for a human than being with one person for the rest of his/her life.


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## Gwynevere (Oct 6, 2013)

I don't really understand the motivation for wanting to have sex with someone else.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

rymo said:


> The most successful relationship I know of is an open one. When you can be open about sleeping with someone else to your partner you can be open about anything, and honesty and solid communication is one of the most important attributes in a successful relationship. It all depends on if you can reach the mindset where you realize sex is just a silly act unless it's with someone you care about. And if the only person it becomes "love-making" with is your partner and with everyone else it's just purely for fun, then I don't see the issue. Of course, getting to that point usually requires a fair bit of experience and maturity so it's not for everyone. I don't think I could do it, but at the same time I do think it's more biologically natural for a human than being with one person for the rest of his/her life.


The most unsuccessful relationship I know is an open one.

The ego is too powerful to let something like that happen unless you're not really serious or interested too deeply in your partner, imo.



Gwynevere said:


> I don't really understand the motivation for wanting to have sex with someone else.


Me neither.


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## laysiaj (Jun 28, 2014)

purechaos said:


> I would actually qualify an "open" relationship as a true one. If you give freedom to someone to do as they wish and they remain loyal and faithful anyway, well I call that love my friend that needs no label to establish rule because they choose you anyway. There are so many that are in "relationships" and are not faithful or loyal. So I would say openness is reality, honesty, you find out how a person is. Now if you happen to be the faithful one and the other one is running around town. You can either run with it and see what happens or leave. But this is true in a "closed" relationship as well. You should always be "open" and honest in any "ship" that you sail.
> 
> Who gets this?


Yes! I get this!


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

purechaos said:


> I would actually qualify an "open" relationship as a true one. If you give freedom to someone to do as they wish and they remain loyal and faithful anyway, well I call that love my friend that needs no label to establish rule because they choose you anyway. There are so many that are in "relationships" and are not faithful or loyal. So I would say openness is reality, honesty, you find out how a person is. Now if you happen to be the faithful one and the other one is running around town. You can either run with it and see what happens or leave. But this is true in a "closed" relationship as well. You should always be "open" and honest in any "ship" that you sail.
> 
> Who gets this?


I get it but that kind of love is so rare :/


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

Gwynevere said:


> I don't really understand the motivation for wanting to have sex with someone else.


Because 50% of marriages end in divorce and the majority of them is because of infidelity. It must really suck thinking everything is going smooth then you find out your partners been banging ****s in your bed.

But if you both have freedom to release all that sexual tension there would probably be less resentment and a more intimate emotional bond between you two. You wouldn't have to repress yourself. 
At least that's how I imagine it would be


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

rymo said:


> The most successful relationship I know of is an open one. When you can be open about sleeping with someone else to your partner you can be open about anything, and honesty and solid communication is one of the most important attributes in a successful relationship. It all depends on if you can reach the mindset where you realize sex is just a silly act unless it's with someone you care about. And if the only person it becomes "love-making" with is your partner and with everyone else it's just purely for fun, then I don't see the issue. Of course, getting to that point usually requires a fair bit of experience and maturity so it's not for everyone. I don't think I could do it, but at the same time I do think it's more biologically natural for a human than being with one person for the rest of his/her life.


How long have they been together?

I agree with everything you said! I just don't know if I'm mature enough to do so. 
I will most definitely bring it up with my next girlfriend


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

CowGoMoo said:


> How long have they been together?
> 
> I agree with everything you said! I just don't know if I'm mature enough to do so.
> I will most definitely bring it up with my next girlfriend


10 years or more. They're around 30 now, living together for several years.


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

rymo said:


> 10 years or more. They're around 30 now, living together for several years.


And they're happy? That's great for them wow!


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

rymo said:


> The most successful relationship I know of is an open one. When you can be open about sleeping with someone else to your partner you can be open about anything, and honesty and solid communication is one of the most important attributes in a successful relationship. It all depends on if you can reach the mindset where you realize sex is just a silly act unless it's with someone you care about. And if the only person it becomes "love-making" with is your partner and with everyone else it's just purely for fun, then I don't see the issue. Of course, getting to that point usually requires a fair bit of experience and maturity so it's not for everyone. I don't think I could do it, but at the same time I do think it's more biologically natural for a human than being with one person for the rest of his/her life.


Yeah it's not for everyone because it requires "experience and maturity". That's definitely it.

The most successful relationship according to YOUR idea of success. I'm pretty sure success and happiness in a relationship are a tad subjective.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

crimeclub said:


> Yeah it's "not for everyone" because it requires "experience and maturity". That's definitely why.
> 
> The most successful relationship according to YOUR idea of success. I'm pretty sure success and happiness in a relationship are pretty damn subjective.


No ****. Did I really have to state that that was MY opinion? I think that goes without saying bud.

But I do believe a loving, loyal, happy and long-lasting relationship are all pretty good criteria.


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

rymo said:


> No ****. Did I really have to state that that was MY opinion? I think that goes without saying bud.


whoa take it easy rymo.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

crimeclub said:


> whoa take it easy rymo.


Ahahahha. Great response. Classic forum redirection style.

Btw, I even said "I think..." multiple times, further implying the obvious, that it was my opinion. Wake up yo.


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

rymo said:


> Ahahahha. Great response. Classic forum redirection style.
> 
> Btw, I even said "I think..." multiple times, further implying the obvious, that it was my opinion. Wake up yo.


You win. You clearly give more of a crap than me.


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## CowGoMoo (Apr 14, 2013)

rymo said:


> No ****. Did I really have to state that that was MY opinion? I think that goes without saying bud.
> 
> But I do believe a loving, loyal, happy and long-lasting relationship are all pretty good criteria.


Hahahaha! Damn xD Real *****


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

crimeclub said:


> You win. You clearly give more of a crap than me.


You have successfully derailed the thread. You win.


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## Jammer25 (Feb 22, 2014)

I would never get into an open relationship, it's not my preference at all. I want exclusivity in a romantic relationship.


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## laysiaj (Jun 28, 2014)

What happened? 
You guys are raising my anxiety levels.


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

rymo said:


> You have successfully derailed the thread. You win.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I haven't and I don't think I would but I don't see a problem with other people having open relationships if both parties are OK with it and I don't think it's a sign that they care about each other less because they're in an open relationship.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

Barette said:


> The most unsuccessful relationship I know is an open one.
> 
> The ego is too powerful to let something like that happen unless you're not really serious or interested too deeply in your partner, imo.
> 
> Me neither.


Agreed.


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## mike285 (Aug 21, 2010)

rymo said:


> The most successful relationship I know of is an open one. When you can be open about sleeping with someone else to your partner you can be open about anything, and honesty and solid communication is one of the most important attributes in a successful relationship. It all depends on if you can reach the mindset where you realize sex is just a silly act unless it's with someone you care about. And if the only person it becomes "love-making" with is your partner and with everyone else it's just purely for fun, then I don't see the issue. Of course, getting to that point usually requires a fair bit of experience and maturity so it's not for everyone. I don't think I could do it, but at the same time I do think it's more biologically natural for a human than being with one person for the rest of his/her life.


I don't think I would be comfortable in one either, but I've heard of successful relationships like that due to the things you described. I think the two partners have to be really like minded in that sense for it to work out though.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

I don't think open relationships have to do with maturity and experience, I think it's down to the individual person and how they function. I just can't see that ever working for me regardless of my maturation or life experiences, it just would not work. I don't judge those who can keep that up but they're not enlightened or above average in their ability to handle relationships and that is the secret to their openness, imo.


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## anomnomnom (May 28, 2013)

Nope..and..Nope


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## euphoria04 (May 8, 2012)

crimeclub said:


>


I told you pissing in rymo's cornflakes was a bad idea but you didn't listen.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

I would rather be alone than be in an open relationship.


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

CowGoMoo said:


> Hmm interesting, what kind of boundaries would you set ?


 It would depend what my partner's concerns were, but hypothetically I would expect we'd need to agree on things like: Disclosure, choice of 3rds, the amount of time spent with other people, safe sex, automatic 'time-outs' whenever someone felt uncomfortable for any reason, sleeping over, honesty about feelings, etc...


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

I couldn't be in an open relationship. I know I would get jealous and I would want her all to myself.


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## Half The Man I Used To Be (Mar 5, 2014)

Gwynevere said:


> Where do you expect to find all these hoes to smash? *Half this site are virgins*, it seems pretty unlikely that someone with SA is going out to clubs and picking up random chicks to have sex with every weekend.


I'd like to see your source for this statistic. Don't comment on things you aren't fully sure of.


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

euphoria04 said:


> I told you pissing in rymo's cornflakes was a bad idea but you didn't listen.


Well you never told me how much of a bad*ss he is, thanks.


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## chinaski (Mar 1, 2010)

no. call me sensitive, but i don't think i'd be able to handle knowing there's another dude's mushroom tip inside my gf. my heart would drop out of my @**hole. i'd feel ****.


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## Raeden (Feb 8, 2013)

I probably wouldn't care if he just had a strictly fwb relationship with another girl so long as he used proper protection. If he had a weird fetish or a significantly higher sex drive than me, then I'd rather he just go find someone else to have sex with rather than cause drama.



Gwynevere said:


> I don't really understand the motivation for wanting to have sex with someone else.


Variety is the spice of life.


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## TheFighterStillRemains (Oct 3, 2010)

They're never a good idea.
That's all I'm saying.


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## Elude (Jun 29, 2014)

Never been in one nor would I want to.


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## cafune (Jan 11, 2011)

I'm way too possessive to share.


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