# Is it ok to ask out a total stranger?



## mbp86

Lets say I'm at the grocery store and I see a woman that I'm interested in. Would it be ok if I asked for her number? Here is how it would go:

Me: Hey, how you doin'?
Girl: Good
Me: I just wanted to say that you're pretty.
Girl Thanks
Me: I'm mbp86 btw.
Girl: I'm ____ (whatever, who cares)
Me: Can I get your number?


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## Paragon

I think there'd have to be more conversation, but sure, i guess... pick up artists manage it somehow?


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## TRENNER

IMO, you can strike up a conversation with a perfect stranger. However, I would not ask a gal out unless I sense some connection is formed--e.g. you get into a long talk and have things in common. Just asking her for her number with nothing prior between you could spook her. Remember that some women have problems with stalkers. You want her to have some indication that you are nice and normal.


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## low

mbp86 said:


> Girl: I'm ____ (whatever, who cares)


Haha =D
Sorry, I found that hilarious. Nice to see genuine interest.


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## KittyGirl

Well, personally- I would never say; "yeah, sure! Let's go out" if a complete stranger were to ask me out. 
There's so much that could go wrong in going on a date with someone whom you know nothing about... you don't have friends who know this person-- there's no relation to anything... I just see danger there. 
This stranger could be a total jackass or a serial killer... There's a possibility he may be a perfect gentleman too but it's too much of a chance to me. No thanks.


I think in general it's accepted to ask out a stranger. If there's some sort of spark there and you both seem to like the first impressions-- then go for it. All the power to you!


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## mbp86

Wtf no one here believes in love at first sight? I'm raging right now.


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## coldsorehighlighter

If she likes you, it's hot. 
If she's neutral, it's fine. 
If she's not interested at all, it's creepy.


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## Just Lurking

Of course it's OK.

But your example conversation isn't going to win you many dates.

"Hi, you're pretty, can I have your number?" doesn't really show your personality, and that's what a girl will usually want to see before she considers going out with you.

Break the ice by commenting or asking her about something in your surroundings and go from there. In your example at the grocery store... if she's looking over, uhhh, hamburgers... You could say something as simple as "planning a BBQ?" ...or ask her what type she'd recommend to buy. Even better if the icebreaker's humorous (show your sense of humour at some point)... And as mentioned above, see if you can find some kind of common ground with her.

If you're out and don't have the nerve to dive right in, warm up your social skills first by chatting up a few elderly women (or some other non-intimidating group) before moving on to girls your age.


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## mbp86

This is so hard lol


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## Just Lurking

mbp86 said:


> This is so hard lol


Well it sounds stupidly convoluted when it's analyzed, but it's really pretty simple. It's just a matter of talking in a relaxed, natural, confident (oh there's that word) manner.

Unfortunately for people like you and me and all of us here, it doesn't come by all that easily.


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## shyvr6

I think if you're going to use that pretty line you should do it in a more smooth nonchalant manner. Saying it like you did in your conversation just seems kind of awkward to me.


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## Perfectionist

Sure, why not? I don't see a problem with it. I don't know how I would react if it happened to me, but I wouldn't fault a guy I didn't know for just asking.


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## sarafinanickelbocker

People do it all the time. Pizza delivery guy showed up at my friends house once and kinda looked at her and said she was cute and asked if he could have her number. I think something similar happened at a drive through. So, yeah...


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## mbp86

I suppose its all in the delivery.


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## Paul

I'd never do it personally, and there's no way I'd go out with someone if asked out like that, but it's normal and fine so go ahead if you like.


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## emptybottle2

I know it's hard to be in more social environments like parties and bars, but that's where most single women want to get hit on, where your chances may be higher. At places like the grocery store and public transportation, chances of success are really low and of them thinking you're a creep high.


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## sarafinanickelbocker

mbp86 said:


> I suppose its all in the delivery.


*drum* Badumbum  lol


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## Star Zero

I don't like how people go up to other people BECAUSE they want to ask them out...it just seems rude to me. Like, dating is your first intention. It's just yuck.

If you are friends and actually show interest in the person, THEN ask them, it makes much more sense.

I mean think about it, someone comes up to you, their judgement based purely on looks, and asks you out when they don't even know you yet---Weird? I think so.

And for me personally, with SA, i find it to be more safe to ask out someone you already know well, and can tell if you'll have some chemistry!


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin

If you're charming enough anything is possible.


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## mbp86

Star Zero said:


> If you are friends and actually show interest in the person, THEN ask them, it makes much more sense.


In the male community (I guess), we often hear that you need to show interest right away. If you take too long by waiting to be friends the lady you like will most likely just want you as a friend.

Example:



Male on SAS Forum said:


> All this "get to know her as friends first" stuff is FALSE!
> 
> You get to know her by hanging out with her and making your romantic interest known from the get-go. It might be insanely difficult for an SAer, but it IS the best thing you can do for yourself -- signal your interest as soon as you realize you're attracted to her. Flirt with her, gauge HER interest, get her number, ask her to hang out, do something together, flirt with her some more, and escalate from there. How fast things can progress depends on the girl.
> 
> The shyest of girls will tell you they need to get to know a guy and be comfortable with him before anything happens. (They might even say "I have to be friends with a guy first.") This does NOT mean "get to know her as a friend and pretend there's no romantic interest there." You don't want to scare her away, and you might have to wait a while before she'll even go out on a date with you, but you shouldn't be completely hiding your interest, either.
> 
> A friendship CAN turn into a relationship (seen it first hand!), but those cases are the exceptions. You're going to have a higher success rate by diving right in vs. hanging around as her "friend" (where you could be waiting a very, very long time for something that probably won't even happen).


In my opinion, approaching a stranger and asking her out makes it look like the man is viewing the woman as an object. Instead of getting to know a person, he just wants to have sex with somebody. Thats normal because most of us are horny (especially those who aren't having sex). My difficulty is building rapport with a person because my conversational skills suck.

For example:

I see a girl wearing a Phil Collins t-shirt

Me: Hey, you like Phil Collins?
Girl: Yeah
Me: Me too, I really like his song "Easy Lover." What is your favorite song of his?
Girl: Land of Confusion (Its by Genesis but whatever I can't think of another Phil Collins song)
Me: Thats cool, I like that song.
Girl: Yeah...
*Me trying to think of something else to say, mind is blank*
Me: Well, cya (Leaving cause I can't think of anything else to say and I don't want to just stand there and look at her for fear of being a "creep")


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## shynesshellasucks

I think it is alright but I'm pretty sure anyone's batting average in here would be really low considering we have SA; You may succeed if you bring your standards down enough. You may pull it off if you are good looking but even that might not help. I think for someone with SA it is a better option meeting a girl at work, school or places like that since it's a little more natural. I want to get over my SA, improve my social skills, improve myself, and actually get a social life before making a really good attempt at hooking up with girls. This is all just my opinion.


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## origami potato

I saw a cheeseball attempt this last week before my math class. Wow was it painful to watch! 

--
He was out in the hallway showing off his new back tattoo to his friend when this girl walking by, jokingly asked if he was getting naked. He then followed her into the classroom saying, "I've got to follow that." 

In the classroom he approaches her and asks how she's doing. Then she asks what kind of tattoo he got, but instead of telling her, he proceeds to take off his shirt again to show it to her. >< 

After a little while of talking about tattoos he asks her what she's doing that weekend. "Studying and work." Then he asks if she's free Saturday night and retorts with, "I don't even know you!" Wahahahaha!! 

I'm sure it works, but that guy was horrible at it. It totally felt like a scene out of a teen movie. *laughs*


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## CourtneyB

Sure i think its okay.  how else are you going to get to know the person you are interested in without going out somewhere? Strangers meet everywhere and strike up conversations that lead to dates all the time.


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## Canadian Brotha

In general I think it's fine but circumstance & approach are very significant. If you just see an attractive gal in a grocery store, pass her in a few aisles & in the 4th one have the type of conversation you mention you'll get nowhere at all. However if you've been eyeing her & she returns the gesture with some glances/smiles each, then go in for a conversation, & finally suggest a possible coffee meet to conclude rather than going directly for her number I see a much improved chance of success


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## Toad Licker

Sure I wouldn't see why not.


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## Visionary

I asked out my boyfriend at work, yeah I thought he was cute, but my first intention was to only be his friend. welp, we've been going out for a year and 5 months now. Guess the whole friend thing didn't work out that well. lol 

I barely knew him, but he turned out to be a really nice guy.


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