# What makes someone "creepy"?



## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

Just wondering what other people think. Seems like you can generally be a good person and still get labelled if you don't like to talk/are afraid to talk to people you are attracted to.


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## Rixy (Oct 4, 2009)

If you are eagerly touchy. 

If you stare at people for unnerving lengths of time. 

If you act incredibly clingy towards someone despite only knowing them for a short while. 

I could go on and on but there are many ways someone can be creepy. I also think that you get varying degrees of creepiness from "He/She sort of makes me uncomfortable" to "I wouldn't ever leave anyone alone with him/her".


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

^
Agreed.

Also, too many sexual "jokes" at inappropriate times(with someone you barely know), delivered in a sleazy way.


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

probably offline said:


> ^
> Agreed.
> 
> Also, too many sexual "jokes" at inappropriate times(with someone you barely know), delivered in a sleazy way.


I knew a guy in high school who was like that 100% of the time, disliked by a large amount of people, who was labelled as creepy/weird/inappropriate, but still managed to get laid 10 times more often than I did. Still don't understand what happened.


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## Life Aint No Joke (Mar 8, 2013)

Not being attractive to said person declaring who is the creep.

Sad but true


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

always starting over said:


> I knew a guy in high school who was like that 100% of the time, disliked by a large amount of people, who was labelled as creepy/weird/inappropriate, but still managed to get laid 10 times more often than I did. Still don't understand what happened.


Maybe he was decent looking and basically hit on every girl he met(maybe he got 10/3000 girls to sleep with him)? Were you passive?


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## Life Aint No Joke (Mar 8, 2013)

probably offline said:


> *Maybe he was decent looking* and basically hit on every girl he met(maybe he got 10/3000 girls to sleep with him)? Were you passive?


She just backed up my point.


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

probably offline said:


> Maybe he was decent looking and basically hit on every girl he met(maybe he got 10/3000 girls to sleep with him)? Were you passive?


Yep, that sounds about right. I also have a hard time distinguishing between positive, flirty signs and general friendliness.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Life Aint No Joke said:


> She just backed up my point.


You can get away with more if you're attractive, but not everything.


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

Life Aint No Joke said:


> Not being attractive to said person declaring who is the creep.
> 
> Sad but true


Yep, that one's a killer


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## Life Aint No Joke (Mar 8, 2013)

probably offline said:


> You can get away with more if you're attractive, but not everything.


Err, yeah


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

I've met many attractive guys who were "creepy". It's not that simple. It's very subjective what one considers creepy, though.


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

Creepy to me, is when people insist on acting "familiar" with someone who doesn't feel the same. 

The person who consistently invades other peoples personal space, without regard for the fact that they tense/back away/react badly. 

Staring at anyone when they are obviously not enjoying being stared at. (I'm not talking glances, I mean staring). 

Evesdropping on peoples private conversations. 

Etc.


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## missingno (Sep 29, 2011)

Life Aint No Joke said:


> Not being attractive to said person declaring who is the creep.
> 
> Sad but true


This.

Oh and this is why this site needs some sort of like system for all forums. I agree with his post but most of the time I dont think its worth posting myself to say that. Would prefer to give it a simple like and move on


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

probably offline said:


> I've met many attractive guys who were "creepy". It's not that simple. It's very subjective what one considers creepy, though.


Lol, that's kind of a bummer. Being attractive and being creepy sounds terrible, because then you would never figure out why you're getting rejected.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

awkwardsilent said:


> The person who consistently invades other peoples personal space, without regard for the fact that they tense/back away/react badly.


Oh yeah. This.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Low social status or ugliness makes you creepy.


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

I used to know someone who would show up at work at random times when he wasn't on shift, because he knew a certain girl was there (we had an online calender that showed everybody working and at what times). It was literally like every weekday, he would do this, and his job was too valuable to let people do anything about it. Of course, he always had an excuse to tell other people about why he was there.


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## TheManInTheRedSuit (Mar 30, 2013)

The Dobbler-Dahmer theory as explained by Ted. I feel like there's a direct link


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## Life Aint No Joke (Mar 8, 2013)

always starting over said:


> I used to know someone who would show up at work at random times when he wasn't on shift, because he knew a certain girl was there (we had an online calender that showed everybody working and at what times). It was literally like every weekday, he would do this, and his job was too valuable to let people do anything about it. Of course, he always had an excuse to tell other people about why he was there.


I wouldn't say that's creepy. Dude is just trying to get it in, heh.


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

Well, maybe. Only thing is he did it multiple years in a row after repeated rejections.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Life Aint No Joke said:


> Not being attractive to said person declaring who is the creep.
> 
> Sad but true


Yup. I've seen girls call a guy creepy if when a guy they find unattractive expresses interest in them. Especially if it's an unattractive older man or an unattractive awkward man.

I feel like I use creepy when it's necessary though lol. I use it when I'm SCARED. Like the time this old (drunk?) guy called out to me when I was dressed as a maid for Halloween and when I ignored him, he started to follow me, yelling ("get the **** back here you *****", etc). I ran and when I told my friend I called him creepy. If a drunk good looking guy was trying to chase me, I would've still ran and described him as creepy.


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## mooncake (Jan 29, 2008)

mezzoforte said:


> Yup. I've seen girls call a guy creepy if when a guy they find unattractive expresses interest in them. Especially if it's an unattractive older man or an unattractive awkward man.


Yeah, it really bugs me when some girls do that. It's always been the younger, more immature ones I've noticed doing it, but I think the word creep is definitely overused in some situations. Being shown interest by someone who you don't have reciprocal feelings for doesn't necessarily mean the person's a creep. I think maybe it gives some people an ego boost in some way to label a person like that.

Like others have said, that's not to say that there's never a legitimate use of the word, though. I guess I'd use the word creepy to describe someone's behaviour if they failed to pick up on very obvious hints that their attention wasn't wanted and yet carried on, or if someone thought it was OK to repeatedly physically touch me, make lewd comments or stare at me or parts of my body for prolonged periods of time. That sort of thing... things that I think most people would know are inappropriate when you don't know the person.


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## Mr Blues (Apr 1, 2011)

mezzoforte said:


> Yup. I've seen girls call a guy creepy if when a guy they find unattractive expresses interest in them.


I've witnessed that too.. which is why I wouldn't dare approach a random woman myself for fear of it happening to me.
My guess is that some women take offence to a guy who they deem unattractive showing interest in them (in others words associating her with his league), and it angers them to the extent that they proceed to name and shame said man..


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I saw this one really creepy guy in this class I took a few semesters ago. The class was about human disease and this guy chose to be in the breast cancer group to give a presentation. He went to the board and drew a breast and said a lot of stuff about nothing. And sort of stood there for a while like he was thinking very deeply. KoooKoooKooKooo


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## Life Aint No Joke (Mar 8, 2013)

Mr Blues said:


> I've witnessed that too.. which is why I wouldn't dare approach a random woman myself for fear of it happening to me.
> My guess is that some women take offence to a guy who they deem unattractive showing interest in them (in others words associating her with his league), and it angers them to the extent that they proceed to name and shame said man..


Not all women do that bro, and if you are going to let something as small as a girl reacting badly to you showing her interest (assuming that will ever happen to you, period) stop you from approaching, you've already lost.

I hope you don't have that sort of "quit before I even try" attitude with the rest of your life. That's not good bro.


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

No commwnt


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## Andre (Feb 27, 2004)

Im sorry for being a creepy, raging drunk. Very sorry.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

always starting over said:


> Just wondering what other people think. Seems like you can generally be a good person and still get labelled if you don't like to talk/are afraid to talk to people you are attracted to.


Not being perfect, nice, or lack of social status.


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## LorenLuke (Jan 3, 2011)

The ability, intended or otherwise, to make another person or persons consistently uncomfortable or unnerved by one's presence, speech, or observed behaviour.


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## Mr Blues (Apr 1, 2011)

Life Aint No Joke said:


> Not all women do that bro, and if you are going to let something as small as a girl reacting badly to you showing her interest (assuming that will ever happen to you, period) stop you from approaching, you've already lost.
> 
> I hope you don't have that sort of "quit before I even try" attitude with the rest of your life. That's not good bro.


Well some people are stronger than others I guess. I just know that, as someone who's self esteem is already rock bottom, I would not be able to handle even one rejection (let alone a nasty one).


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

awkwardsilent said:


> Evesdropping on peoples private conversations.


This is probably why quiet people tend to give off the creepy vibe.


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## nml (Jan 21, 2012)

well, looks like people have already explained and defused this one. It's usually just a word used by a girl against a guy she doesn't find attractive, for whatever reason. When you realise it's just that then you see it's obviously not worth getting upset about.


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## tieffers (Jan 26, 2013)

It's creepy when you start noticing that person hanging out in a lot of places you do when you're out and about.

Also when you get a message on facebook you ignore because they are in fact creepy, and then they text you, call you, call your mom's phone, call your landline, and then call you again. Especially when you don't remember giving them any of these numbers.

When they look at you longer than a few seconds without smiling or saying hi.

When their eyes wander to parts of your body. (Protip: It is impossible to be subtle if you're doing this.)

Being hugged or even touched without warning, unless it's someone you habitually do that with.

Being asked what kind of car you drive, where it's parked, or where you live.

Being asked if you're married or with someone, if that person is a stranger. (Not really creepy if it's someone you're acquainted with.)

Someone standing so close (excluding situations you need to with crowds and such) you can smell their cologne, sweat, or body odor.


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## Life Aint No Joke (Mar 8, 2013)

Mr Blues said:


> Well some people are stronger than others I guess. I just know that, as someone who's self esteem is already rock bottom, I would not be able to handle even one rejection (let alone a nasty one).


So instead of facing the possibility of rejection, you would rather give up completely on trying to get what it is that you want?


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## Nivea (Feb 25, 2013)

It's creepy when someone you are not attracted to are being overly friendly and flirty.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

It's more than being not attracted to the person. If someone goosed me, I'd be creeped out regardless of whether or not they're attractive. If someone was staring at me for over a minute, I'm creeped out regardless of whether or not they're attractive. Or if they're sending a lot of messages = creepy. I don't care whether or not they're attractive. Following me around when I don't want them to = creepy. Because they don't recognize the signals that a person just does not want to talk to them, be with them, or know them, and yet they keep persisting. Same with girls. There was a girl in my high school that was really creepy, and everyone said "She's pretty but she's just too creepy" Like, she shoved other people's pens down her pants. There's no pretty that makes up for that.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

Barette said:


> Like, she shoved other people's pens down her pants. There's no pretty that makes up for that.


:lol omg wat. That is incredibly creepy and weird.

I kind of don't see how people can honestly believe that a lack of mutual attraction is the one and only reason for someone to feel creeped out by another person. It's really just shallow and immature people who label others based on their physical appearance. The majority of mature, intelligent adults are aware of the difference between not being attracted to someone and that person actually being a creep.

Of course the word will get misused, as any insult will. But that doesn't mean that it's never used legitimately as well.

I mean...do some people seriously not realize that certain behaviors are almost universally considered creepy? Such as stalking, leering, inappropriate touching, not taking no for an answer, ignoring social cues, a disregard for personal space, inappropriate/pushy sexual advances or comments, etc. Call me crazy but things like that seem to be the most obvious answer to this question. But what do I know.


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## popeet (Dec 8, 2005)

awkwardsilent said:


> Creepy to me, is when people insist on acting "familiar" with someone who doesn't feel the same.
> 
> The person who consistently invades other peoples personal space, without regard for the fact that they tense/back away/react badly.
> 
> ...


I agree with these except, the invading other peoples' personal space and not noticing their body language might be a cultural thing or an ASD or Asperger's thing.

I think what's been mentioned so far are red flag forms of creepiness with acquaintances BUT there are forms of creepiness that appear the longer you know someone... like:

1. Creepy is over 30 and looooves children's movies. Like, from the child's standpoint.

2. The person often seems preoccupied and just repeats the end of your sentence in agreement. Or disagrees, and then repeats what you already said like:

You: "Ah damn I think the timing belt needs to be replaced!"
Creepy: *staring off into space* "And the timing belt needs replacing, too."

You: "She's got to be more responsible with her finances!"
Creepy: "No, I think the real problem is that she's not managing her money right."

3. Creepy is defensive about everything and spirals from a perceived slight. Goes home and punches a wall if the cashier at the store wasn't all cordial.

4. Creepy is so secretive or insecure that she/he doesn't answer anything in a definitive way. Totally ambiguous answers like:

You: "Have you seen [movie title here?] or no?"
Creepy: "Nyaaa...."
- "kind of yes, kind of no"
- "maybe a little bit"
- "kind of kind of not"
- "a little of both"
- "fine"

5. Creepy doesn't remember her/his childhood. Or big events that nearly everyone in the world remembers.

6. Creepy doesn't know what he/she actually likes. Likes what you like. If that's ok.

7. Creepy lies about weird pointless things, like liking mustard.

8. Creepy silently stares at the side of your face when you're looking somewhere else. Then turns away when you look at them.

9. You give creepy a constructive criticism, they seem to cheerfully accept it, then a short time later, something important to you turns up smashed or broken in half.

10. Creepy is angry at you about something they cheerfully stuffed down weeks ago; you had no idea. They explode, either into rage or tears at unexpected moments about this thing they stuffed down.

SO maybe someone like this is pretending to be a friend, secretly hates me and is just barely hanging in there long enough to kill me. Or may be traumatized from an abusive parent or kidnapping. Or maybe I think that dependent, passive-aggressive behavior in a friendship or dating situation can be creepy.

This is of course subjective. But I think this kind of creepy definitely needs to go to therapy soon, and work a few things out.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I'm good at creeping out other American females. Think that is part of the reason why I have mainly lived with guys or non-American women for the most part. They can't as easily detect my weirdness as American women can. There is supposed to be a sort of rhythm to a conversation between women, which I fail miserably at.


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## popeet (Dec 8, 2005)

komorikun said:


> I'm good at creeping out other American females. Think that is part of the reason why I have mainly lived with guys or non-American women for the most part. They can't as easily detect my weirdness as American women can. There is supposed to be a sort of rhythm to a conversation between women, which I fail miserably at.


I know what you mean. It's scary with other American-born women. It's like they weird out too easily. Foreign born friends or friends with foreign born parents are the best!


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## miminka (May 10, 2009)

unwavering eye contact
leering eyes
excessive lip-licking
cold approaching / pua
ignorance of social cues
desperate insincere complimenting
sense of entitlement
self-imposing


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

mezzoforte said:


> Yup. I've seen girls call a guy creepy if when a guy they find unattractive expresses interest in them. Especially if it's an unattractive older man or an unattractive awkward man.


Girls who do this are basically saying to their friends "this guy showed interest in me and not you, despite him being unworthy of my attention" It is basically just a way to assert dominance to her female friends. Unless it is of course like the story you mentioned which is a legitimate story.

I think creepy is usually when a person doesn't read social cues well, or is overly pushy to the point of being obnoxious with their sexual advances. Because less people will find you attractive at first if you are an ugly person, this person gets called creepy more often than a really attractive one would as they can get away with it. Almost all the instances that I have heard it used, is by girls and its just because they feel uncomfortable or even scared.

I have never thought anyone was "creepy" and I think the word is used excessively. If I hear a girl calling someone creepy I just tend to slyly insult them to drop their ego a bit. I would do the same to a guy but I never hear a guy saying a girl is creepy. It just annoys me when people use such tactics to display superiority over others.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Durzo said:


> Girls who do this are basically saying to their friends "this guy showed interest in me and not you, despite him being unworthy of my attention" It is basically just a way to assert dominance to her female friends. Unless it is of course like the story you mentioned which is a legitimate story.
> 
> I think creepy is usually when a person doesn't read social cues well, or is overly pushy to the point of being obnoxious with their sexual advances. Because less people will find you attractive at first if you are an ugly person, this person gets called creepy more often than a really attractive one would as they can get away with it. Almost all the instances that I have heard it used, is by girls and its just because they feel uncomfortable or even scared.
> 
> I have never thought anyone was "creepy" and I think the word is used excessively. If I hear a girl calling someone creepy I just tend to slyly insult them to drop their ego a bit. I would do the same to a guy but I never hear a guy saying a girl is creepy. It just annoys me when people use such tactics to display superiority over others.


Great post.


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## Limmy (Feb 15, 2013)

Durzo said:


> Girls who do this are basically saying to their friends "this guy showed interest in me and not you, despite him being unworthy of my attention" It is basically just a way to assert dominance to her female friends. Unless it is of course like the story you mentioned which is a legitimate story.


gotta love a high status girl


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

My guess would be that most of the time, people who are perceived as creepy aren't. They're just socially inept. These people typically probably aren't dangerous in any way. 

This is to say that in our haste to scope out threats to our safety, we often set our radars to ultra high. We detect every little blip. We have millions of blips on our screens and 99% of them are harmless.

A guy who stares at you probably isn't aware that it makes you uncomfortable. This sounds weird but I know people who don't realize it when they're doing something that bothers someone else. These are generally good people. They just have some kind of weirdness going on somewhere and they just don't get it.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

Just be confident.


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

PickleNose said:


> My guess would be that most of the time, people who are perceived as creepy aren't. They're just socially inept. These people typically probably aren't dangerous in any way.
> 
> This is to say that in our haste to scope out threats to our safety, we often set our radars to ultra high. We detect every little blip. We have millions of blips on our screens and 99% of them are harmless.
> 
> A guy who stares at you probably isn't aware that it makes you uncomfortable. This sounds weird but I know people who don't realize it when they're doing something that bothers someone else. These are generally good people. They just have some kind of weirdness going on somewhere and they just don't get it.


This is my feeling too. Cut people some slack once in a while and realize you don't have to go off about how their presence is offensive to your existence. People have a right not to feel creeped out, but there's such a vague scale that can be used to make someone a pariah just by labeling them as creepy. If I don't make eye contact with a girl, then I'm somehow inadequate as a man, but If I do make eye contact, and she's not attracted to me and labels it as creepy, then I'm supposed to feel like a bad person. B.S.


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## popeet (Dec 8, 2005)

But you asked... don't punish us for saying the truth! It's a buffet of helpful hints you'll never find anywhere else.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

komorikun said:


> I saw this one really creepy guy in this class I took a few semesters ago. The class was about human disease and this guy chose to be in the breast cancer group to give a presentation. He went to the board and drew a breast and said a lot of stuff about nothing. And sort of stood there for a while like he was thinking very deeply. KoooKoooKooKooo


Ah-Tah!


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## DreamerInSlumberland (Mar 6, 2013)

Men who leer... it's the most unsettling feeling for a woman, like you're being assaulted from afar, especially when they continue to do it after they can't take a hint.


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## River In The Mountain (Jun 6, 2011)

When you open your cupboard door in the mood for a snack, and they're in there, holding out a freshly opened packet of cookies. They quietly mouth the words 'I love you' as you close the door, that sinking feeling in your stomach settling in when you realise you shouldn't have smiled at them at the bus stop and also that he was sitting on the pasta.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

river in the mountain said:


> when you open your cupboard door in the mood for a snack, and they're in there, holding out a freshly opened packet of cookies. They quietly mouth the words 'i love you' as you close the door, that sinking feeling in your stomach settling in when you realize you shouldn't have smiled at them at the bus stop and also that he was sitting on the pasta.


lol! :d


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

DreamerInSlumberland said:


> like you're being assaulted from afar


Um, what is that supposed to mean?


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

PickleNose said:


> My guess would be that most of the time, people who are perceived as creepy aren't. They're just socially inept. These people typically probably aren't dangerous in any way.
> 
> This is to say that in our haste to scope out threats to our safety, we often set our radars to ultra high. We detect every little blip. We have millions of blips on our screens and 99% of them are harmless.
> 
> A guy who stares at you probably isn't aware that it makes you uncomfortable. This sounds weird but I know people who don't realize it when they're doing something that bothers someone else. These are generally good people. They just have some kind of weirdness going on somewhere and they just don't get it.


I agree! Well said.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Durzo said:


> Girls who do this are basically saying to their friends "this guy showed interest in me and not you, despite him being unworthy of my attention" It is basically just a way to assert dominance to her female friends. Unless it is of course like the story you mentioned which is a legitimate story.
> 
> I think creepy is usually when a person doesn't read social cues well, or is overly pushy to the point of being obnoxious with their sexual advances. Because less people will find you attractive at first if you are an ugly person, this person gets called creepy more often than a really attractive one would as they can get away with it. Almost all the instances that I have heard it used, is by girls and its just because they feel uncomfortable or even scared.
> 
> I have never thought anyone was "creepy" and I think the word is used excessively. If I hear a girl calling someone creepy I just tend to slyly insult them to drop their ego a bit. I would do the same to a guy but I never hear a guy saying a girl is creepy. It just annoys me when people use such tactics to display superiority over others.


Good point.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

PickleNose said:


> My guess would be that most of the time, people who are perceived as creepy aren't. They're just socially inept. These people typically probably aren't dangerous in any way.
> 
> This is to say that in our haste to scope out threats to our safety, we often set our radars to ultra high. We detect every little blip. We have millions of blips on our screens and 99% of them are harmless.
> 
> A guy who stares at you probably isn't aware that it makes you uncomfortable. This sounds weird but I know people who don't realize it when they're doing something that bothers someone else. These are generally good people. They just have some kind of weirdness going on somewhere and they just don't get it.


I agree with this, despite what I think I said in here. I'm a people-starer, I sometimes just blank out and look around and stare at people without even realizing it. I'm just out of it. Once I was looking to the side, and after like 5 minutes realized I'd been staring at a guy. I probably creeped him out but I didn't even realize I was looking at him. Or maybe I'm trying to figure out their haircut or makeup or features, cause I'm obsessed with that stuff, and don't realize the length at which I was doing that because I've been busy figuring out the length of their chin or jaw or the proportions of it compared to the rest of their face. It has nothing to do with them, I'm figuring it out for myself. But I just don't realize how long I'm doing it and it becomes creepy, and I have been called creepy a few times for it even though I didn't even care about the people or maybe didn't even find them attractive. Sometimes I stare at significantly unattractive people because I just like looking at them. Once I got caught a lot by a lady I was staring at because she was so extraordinarily unattractive that I was fascinated. I'm weird about it, I just love studying faces. But cause of it, I get called creepy. Totally worth it though cause it's fun to study faces. I'm more forgiving when other people stare cause I know it prob doesn't have anything to actually do with me. I knew a girl with Asperger's that got called weird and sometimes creepy, but I thought that was cruel considering it was obvious how she lacked social skills. People are too quick to use that word. But I'm majorly ranting here.


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## I wish i was normal (May 28, 2012)

River In The Mountain said:


> When you open your cupboard door in the mood for a snack, and they're in there, holding out a freshly opened packet of cookies. They quietly mouth the words 'I love you' as you close the door, that sinking feeling in your stomach settling in when you realise you shouldn't have smiled at them at the bus stop and also that he was sitting on the pasta.


Hahaha! Brilliant!


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