# How are you feeling?



## artynerd

This is just a place to vent, feel happy or feel sad or whatever your mood!

But if you are feeling glum, this is to anyone who needs a hug! 








*hugs* =]

and if you are having a rough day, just know that someone out there cares about you.


----------



## extraordinary

Feeling lonely.

How did you disappoint yourself this time?


----------



## IvyAndRoses

Sad and pathetic.


----------



## diamondheart89

Like an insecure blob.


----------



## Nevermind0

artynerd said:


> Just a place to vent, feel happy or feel sad or whatever your mood!


Theres plenty of mood threads, not to sound like a jerk but there is a Search option in this forum that is very usefull.


----------



## artynerd

Nevermind0 said:


> Theres plenty of mood threads, not to sound like a jerk but there is a Search option in this forum that is very usefull.


thats the hassle.. if i was to search for each mood thread..

and there so much mood someone can experience.. and its not just 1 word.

in here, you are free to say how ever you feel in your own words. 

Plus.. wouldnt it be server space saving, if all those thread put into 1?


----------



## WhoAmIToday

I just feel like a cup of tea >.<


----------



## Steve123

Like ****ing ****, and I've lost count of all the reasons.


----------



## odd_one_out

Every time I fall asleep tonight I soon awake with leg and gut spasms for no apparent reason. There's also acid indigestion. I've decided to not sleep and feel much healthier for it but will suffer with fatigue the rest of the day. I guess my mood's related to GAD and manifesting physically.


----------



## Famous

sad


----------



## jamesd

Totally Terrified said:


> sad


a mixture of sadness and numbness for me.


----------



## Neptunus

Lots of anxiety today.


----------



## Tugwahquah

I can't sleep, the coyotes are screaming. 
Its a fool moon night, and I'm lonesome.
Other than that I'm happy.


----------



## Syndacus

Well if anyone wants to vent or have someone to listen to. Feel free to post on my profile in the visitor section and I'll offer some input if I have any or comfort.


----------



## Dariann

Right now i am feeling sad because, my GF was left
me and i am feeling so sad don't know why


----------



## IvyAndRoses

Sad, pathetic, angry, frustrated, and doomed.


----------



## Weird Fishes

I've been having ups and downs ... directly to do with someone. I think I'm a bit obsessed and it's a horrible feeling ... when I'm talking to them I feel ok but then when I'm not it makes me feel sh*t. I just hope that things will turn out ok.


----------



## Cerrada

I feel fantastic! I went in for an interview and it went awesome! I will hopefully we at work in the next few weeks. Yessss.


----------



## nycdude

Sick! I have a runny nose and a slight headache


----------



## skygazer

Just a bit aggravated and feeling unease, insignificant, restless, ill, doomed, ****, But i'm okay


----------



## steelmyhead

I feel being myself isn't adaquate enough to fit into society. I feel the excitement of a new day being overpowerer by pain, discomfort and disapointment.


----------



## Aphexfan

Depressed, alone, isolated...I think that covers it :?


----------



## artynerd

^ Sorry your feeling this way! Hope you feel better soon!


----------



## artynerd

Better now than I was yesterday about isolating myself!


----------



## Meli24R

Restless, lonely, bored, sick and tired of everything. I want to go out and do something fun, exciting and different, but I don't know what. Plus the one friend I have is always busy and I live in the most uninteresting place.


----------



## zomgz

Feeling pretty fly! Haven't done anything productive today, just the way I like it.


----------



## Tu Cielo

Very tired and not looking forward to going to school, even though I have my favorite class today. All I wanna do is sleep.


----------



## Famous

I'm as attractive as aids.


----------



## Hallucinating Zebra

...


----------



## Lasair

On the verge of tears, had free day to do whatever and just got really down!


----------



## Weird Fishes

Better. Just saw an episode of The Simpsons that I hadn't seen before and it was pretty good ... then came back to the computer and saw I had a message from someone I've been wanting to talk to.


----------



## au Lait

Nervous but excited


----------



## PickleNose

How am I feeling? I feel like ****. But that's better than I felt yesterday and every day since 2006.

Today I woke up and realized I really hated somebody I thought I liked. I realized I just didn't know them very well. Lesson learned. Again.

I'm sure I'll have to learn the same lesson at least another 6,000 times before it really sinks in.


----------



## IvyAndRoses

artynerd said:


> ^Sorry to know that you're feelling so bad. Hope you feel better soon_  _


Thanks. And for now: I'm feeling sad and defeated, beaten and trying to be accepting but really just feeling deserted.


----------



## Euphoric Wings

I am feeling relaxed right now. Because I have finished two postponed works just 30 minutes ago.


----------



## artynerd

^ Great to hear 

.. and im feeling bored...


----------



## Perkins

My throat has been feeling sore for the past couple hours. 

I hope I'm not getting sick. I wouldn't mind sleeping on someone's lap while they nurse me back to health.


----------



## zerogrim

I was sad and depressed but i feel okay now.


----------



## Wacky Wednesdays

Tired as it's been a long week but I can feel the excitement building up for the weekend/week ahead


----------



## olschool

terrible, depressed


----------



## Bloody Pit Of Horror

Cerrada said:


> I feel fantastic! I went in for an interview and it went awesome! I will hopefully we at work in the next few weeks. Yessss.


Congrats! :hs

Now me, I feel powerless, defeated, and frustrated.


----------



## Ortelius

I feel disappointed and angry at the moment, because I totally failed at my Spanish oral presentation today. I froze and could not come up with anything to say...


----------



## Gorillaz

kind of sad right now. And jealous


----------



## CaptainRoommate

I just got back from the gym and ate, so I feel pretty good. Trying to avoid taking a nap.


----------



## Matomi

Depressed as always...


----------



## NE1CME

Like if I sat here with a gun at my head, it'd be ok.


----------



## artynerd

^ hope u meant a toy gun! if not, heres a *hug* and i hope u feel better soon! 

& im feeling a little sad that i threw away my old clothes but i really had no space in my wardrobe anymore! I was literally squeezing and squashing clothes in, little gaps! 

So they must go ... hu hu hu ~_~ ... poor clothes!! about 4 bags!


----------



## Perkins

Still congested.


----------



## Rosedubh

Sad.


----------



## hoddesdon

I have a feeling of deja vu, since the title and first post of this thread are very similar to the corresponding thread on a similar website. Presumably the OP did not feel hung-over from going out on Saturday night.


----------



## cafune

I feel sick thinking about the number of things that I'm putting off right now. I don't know what I'm thinking. I've got **** to do but I just can't get myself to do any of it. My stomach won't stop swirling like a washing machine. Not good. This is not good at all.


----------



## rosettas stoned

Like a sad panda


----------



## sas111

Content & wonderfully empty.


----------



## Innamorata

Pretty awesome.


----------



## circumlocuter

Optimistic but confused.


----------



## EmptyRoom

I feel...empty, I feel that no one understands, but that's clearly an understatement because I'm sure most people here can relate. The feeling of being an outsider, a loner, just an invisible person. I feel that way most if not all of the time. I'm not entirely sure how I'm viewed but I feel like I'm not really here. At times I really do want to disappear, I don't see the point in sticking around, but I stay anyway. I guess a part of me still has that glimmer of hope...I really don't want to lose it.


----------



## PickleNose

I feel dark.


----------



## ratbag

Dehydrated


----------



## River In The Mountain

Slightly smothered yet in need of another.


----------



## Tugwahquah

Positivly singular


----------



## x3 Misaki

Annoyed.


----------



## IllusionOfHappiness

Pretty sh***y with a glimmer of hope. 

I just need things to change faster than they are. SSDD for me.


----------



## nervousman

Illinoison you are hot and sexy and from Canada. I* just want ytou to know thjat. Yes indeed!


----------



## IllusionOfHappiness

nervousman said:


> Illinoison you are hot and sexy and from Canada. I* just want ytou to know thjat. Yes indeed!


And you're drunk 

S'all good I have a drink right now too. Stressful times.

& ty I will pm you once my browser wants to agree with me.


----------



## beherit

i feel awesome.


----------



## RUFB2327

Tired as hell


----------



## Citrine

Bleh


----------



## JenN2791

Annoyed. Anxious over probably nothing as usual.


----------



## scooby

Extremely tired. I'm going through a phase of procrastinating from sleep. (unsure if thats the right wording.) Comes around every couple months.


----------



## IllusionOfHappiness

Eager to start my course work. Work can screw off for today. I'm calling in, having a proper breakfast, showering, and reading my face off till I'm ahead in this.


----------



## Weird Fishes

Slightly worried/depressed ... nothing new there.


----------



## mcmuffinme

ugly, groggy and sad.


----------



## allybean

lightheaded


----------



## Neptunus




----------



## Elleire

Conflicted, ashamed, and angry.


----------



## IllusionOfHappiness

Mixed emotions.
I was in a car accident a couple hours ago.


----------



## YomYom

Happy, finally, but that's just b/c I have early release today at school. AND THEN NEXT WEEK IS THE WEEK OFF KDJFKAJFKJELKDSFJC :clap :b


----------



## InfiniteBlaze

bitter


----------



## artynerd

Sad 

Some things happened today and im feeling sad about it. Also everyday my mum is accusing me for not looking for work. She doesnt understand that when she says this, I am having no support and it makes me feel worthless and pressured. She isnt helping me at all. Why cant she just be supportive of me for once in her life?? She always makes me feel worthless and useless like im a nobody! 

I really just want family support. I am planning to wake up early tommorow to go get help for job hunt and when I told her, she reacted the same way. So dissapointed and sad


----------



## Innamorata

Annoyed, upset, bored, lonely, tired.

Think I'll go to bed.


----------



## BobtheBest

Sad, shamed, and disappointed.


----------



## mcmuffinme

a little on edge. life is murky right now. i'm not sure what to expect, but i anticipate disappointment.


----------



## Kennnie

Not really sure right now. Maybe im happy?


----------



## River In The Mountain

Severely stupid.


----------



## iChoseThisName

I feel pretty ****ing miserable. Lately all I can think about is my time wasted and how it feels like it is impossible to change myself. So until I do that, misery will persist. I wish my head would just explode already.


----------



## Pialicious88

hungry, bored, tired


----------



## Perkins

Overwhelmed with anxiety.


----------



## EmptyRoom

Flipping out of my mind, yet at the same time it's as if I could hardly care


----------



## artynerd

I feel a mish mash of emotions.. quite happy, but if I take this route.. It would mean a big dissapointment and sadness... hmmm...


----------



## Matomi

Terrible, i want to run away and never come back. 
I'd have no where to go though.


----------



## RockBottomRiser

I feel fine.


----------



## Neptunus

Meh...


----------



## Gorillaz

kind of awful.


----------



## rdrr

turrrrible


----------



## Neptunus

Surprised!


----------



## Huk phin

Depressed. Had an epic social fail last night just reinforcing my perceived reputation as weird and boring. I wish I was never invited to things because they become such stress events where I always let myself down. Sadly, I get depressed when I am not invited to things yet I am always slightly releaved. I think people think I am a loser and then I go out and prove them right.


----------



## rnotlee

Chilly (love the feeling). Lonely and nostalgic.


----------



## laura024

Inordinately depressed and lonely.


----------



## therunaways

Miserable


----------



## offbyone

Apparently like everyone else?

Awful.


----------



## artynerd

I feel like rubbish. Im so retarded... 
:no


----------



## saso

I feel exhausted With a side of tension headache


----------



## artynerd

Feel really unhappy. I am back in isolation with no friends. 
My life is so sad, depressing and miserable. I have nothing to fight for. 
I am a lost cause. Everyone is better than me. 
I cant do anything right, I always messed up, cant make friends. 
Im such a failure.

No family support too, so I have nobody. 

^ I can either think this way, like I've always been.. or change my thinking.


I can feel happy, maybe I am not great at communicating and making friends. 
But, I can try... I have that thing I can put out in the market. Try work on that. 

The reason why my family dont support me, is because I am not providing for the family, and I cant really blame them for losing hope in me. Even though I really need it. 

I shouldnt compare or care too much about what others think of me, because there is only 1 persons opinion that matters to me, the most.


----------



## h4x0r

so so soO very pointless


----------



## coconuts

I'm feeling embarrassed but I can't say that is an unusual feeling for me!
I'm also feeling stressed about some essays that are due in soon at uni... on the other hand, my belly is most certainly happy because i've just eaten a mountain of chocolate  every cloud...


----------



## Rossy

Exausted


----------



## estse

Everybody has a cat in the suburbs, I want mine too. =(


----------



## laura024

Ill


----------



## PickleNose

Tired

Sore. My back hurts. Pissed off, agitated, annoyed. But I have my prescriptions for the next six months. Now I can shave my head again and not have to worry about explaining to my doctor why I'm bald.


----------



## Lasair

My knee really really hurts


----------



## bezabeza

Positive.....feel like I have worked out what I need to work on re some of my SA problems and have just joined this great forum.....something happened today (minor thing..just wrote a thread about it) and I made the decision NOT to tell any friends or family about it, like I usually would for reassurance so that the incident would be more likely to disappear from my brain quickly....and then I decided to share it with you guys instead.... so, yes, positive.....


----------



## Nightlight

Lonely.


----------



## offbyone

Hopeful.


----------



## avoidobot3000

boreddd


----------



## Nightlight

Incredibly tired and weak.


----------



## Perkins

Stressed/sad.


----------



## Encraptulate

hey! t n c k t 9 c 6 ! : D clever boy!


----------



## Secretaz

Stressed out, sad, tired, lonely, angry..


----------



## Ckg2011

Lonely, Sad, Depressed. I wish someone would hug me.


----------



## Mr Blues

Very tired..


----------



## Rainbowmuffin

Feeling despondent right now...and tired cos I have trouble getting to sleep.


----------



## Blawnka

Depressed/bored, nothing new.


----------



## sas111

*FAT.*


----------



## LainToWired

Like I have a lot to laugh about, somehow. Reasonably optimistic.


----------



## artynerd

I felt okay, bit sad and im a bit drained. I was talking to an old colleague who was feeling down and I was trying to help him think positive which worked I think but I realise Im not doing what I said to him to me. So I feel like a hypocrite.


----------



## eNeM

I'm okay, just tired, and bored mostly.


----------



## trendyfool

Anticipating disappointment.


----------



## GenoWhirl

Feel like total worthless, hopeless, depressed s*it. That about covers my current mood. Glad I could share my negativity with this board.


----------



## artynerd

not fantastic.. but i dont remember the last time I did, maybe over 10 years ago


----------



## epostler

Just finished work (9 pm to 5 am) and now I get to go to class. So I'm a little tired and a bit happy, I thought I would be a lot more tired!


----------



## Hallucinating Zebra

...


----------



## jerryfunhose

Good and happy


----------



## SusanStorm

Lonely,but at the same time I'm feeling hopeful.


----------



## Hallucinating Zebra

Cold


----------



## odd_one_out

I can't describe it. I've no one to help treat me. I'm the one always doing the helping and the figuring everything out. I can't relate to people here because they don't have my main condition. I'm invisible and like I'm in a tomb - a bed tomb. I disrupted my routine to help someone despite not being recovered from the last flare-up. 

I can't be bothered to do anything today. I haven't even had the energy to fetch food - only enough to wash. I feel locked in routine. My routines are like cognitive locks to the extent I can't initiate unfamiliar actions such as walking to an unfamiliar part of the room. My brain can't shift set. It feels like I've no skin to block out stimuli and have to curl up in bed to stop feeling pain.


----------



## artynerd

Unhappy 
Sad ...


----------



## MsDaisy

I think overall... Im happier than Ive been my whole life. Sure everything is not as peachy as I would have liked, but luckily, it doesnt take much to make me happy.


----------



## MsDaisy

Wait, no...I change my mind. Now I am upset. ftyrfub niutfuyrfv lkjgfuydetd kjtfrd tmnlk hh ogui l oihg ohiuhg hg oiuhkjnlk vtu jhb uvojhllhb. jlpoia regg ihg jpjj[aohrg ;zg.:mum

Its amazing how quickly my moods can change.


----------



## Rossy

Miserable with pain.


----------



## Lasair

Drinking lots of water means peeing lots

I am a bit jittery - stopped meds for a few days...me thinks I needs to do it another way other then just stopping


----------



## xTKsaucex

frustrated with work I don't understand fully!!!!


----------



## Lasair

Excited


----------



## Marakunda

Lonely.


----------



## noyadefleur

Tired.. I wish I could have slept a little longer.


----------



## Rossy

Sick with pain.


----------



## LainToWired

Nuclearised. With lots of isolated electrodes.


----------



## violetta

Can you not edit your posts on here? Huh. 

Oh well... feeling good


----------



## Just Tony

Rejected and Lonely..


----------



## Cyber Lume

Trapped.


----------



## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin

Physically sated, emotionally level, sexually frustrated, academically hungry.


----------



## offbyone

Lazy.


----------



## Duke of Prunes

Bored and lonely...


----------



## artynerd

not great. 

I feel retarded. I am.. I wish i was like my sister. Shes so well-spoken and socialable. I mean, if you speak to her, she is instantly likable. Its why she has soooo many friends. She is just a likable person. And shes cute looking, she has a baby face and baby skin. She is older than me but looks younger


----------



## artynerd

sad. I dont think i ever want a relationship. I dont want to get hurt anymore. 

I shouldnt even try for one. And plan my single life.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

I was grumpy earlier, now I'm just here.


----------



## LainToWired

Anxious about tomorrow but confident I'm doing the right thing.


----------



## Boring Loser

Bored.


----------



## Lasair

So sick tummy is being so nasty


----------



## Eski

Drunk, lonely, hopeless, worried.


----------



## CeladonCity

My cat is extremely overweight and passed out in my lap.
So, sore. Really, really sore.


----------



## Catnap

It feels like one of my emotional nights. I should be sleeping, but I'm still up. I just got through watching a movie. Kind of thinking about someone and feeling bad. Wondering what all is going to happen this year. Tired of being stuck.


----------



## xTKsaucex

buzzed, new Graphics tablet has arrived. I was running around shouting "YES, I LOVE CAPITALISM!" for some reason


----------



## Rossy

Hugely frustrated and fed up.


----------



## DubnRun

Like the rear end of a rat. Also immensely bored.


----------



## MichaelCR01

Frustrated for not going to my therapy. 
Anxious because I know I'm going to have to go to the doctors again this week.
Anxious because I have to get in contact with my psychiatrist.
Fed Up of being like this.


----------



## artynerd

Not that happy. But my dad finally had the foot surgery, so thats good. Hopefully he will recover. and another thing, Im just thinking, I really want to talk to him more.. but im really shy.


----------



## Sensitive Guy

Relaxed but feel somewhat sleepy, as work was really busy today.


----------



## HQuirk

Quite sad at the minute


----------



## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin

Burned out, super hungry and a little bit buzzed.


----------



## laura024

Scared to drive to school after getting in an accident on Friday. The weather is bad again -.-


----------



## Freiheit

Bored and kind of numb.


----------



## Rossy

Sick


----------



## artynerd

not great. my dads ill and now my brother. hmm...


----------



## Rossy

^ Remember I am here if you need to talk


----------



## offbyone

Sick and unfortunately a bit horny. **** is that a terrible combination.


----------



## artynerd

Rossy said:


> ^ Remember I am here if you need to talk


Thanks Rossy, your always kind to me ^_^


----------



## Rossy

Your welcome we are good online friends after all


----------



## offbyone

Ahahhaha my ear is blocked up and now I'm dizzy. Why won't you work decongestants?!


----------



## odd_one_out

Bleh. What.


----------



## Rossy

Not far from giving up.


----------



## leave me alone

Not good.. to put it lightly.


----------



## IllusionOfHappiness

Like my work should have been done an hour ago.


----------



## jay l

annoyed


----------



## Duke of Prunes

Currently in my bloodstream:
- 240 mg of codeine phosphate
- 20 mg of methylphenidate (via sublingual/buccal)
- countless spliffs and one-hitters (with a blend of some homegrown indica of unknown variety from an acquaintance, and some commercially grown haze)
- numerous shots of the ancient single malt scotch I got for my birthday (hey, I've been up all night, so it's not too early to drink!)
- a fairly decent cigar

I'm feeling rather good right now


----------



## cafune

Anxious to the point of feeling nauseous. :/


----------



## Perkins

Pessimistic, mainly.


----------



## Ambivert

I feel like a failure.


----------



## MsDaisy

On top of the world...euphoric. I'm finally free.


----------



## immortal80

MsDaisy said:


> On top of the world...euphoric. I'm finally free.


Sounds like a good place to be msdaisy. 

I'm feeling a bit unmotivated today. Not very positive.


----------



## DubnRun

Tired its 6am and I should go to bed :/


----------



## Weird Fishes

Fine considering ...


----------



## Ashley1990

lonely


----------



## artynerd

^ *hugs* Raj!

im feeling better than I did 2 days ago when I was plannin to leave. 
I figure whats the point.. there could be a point... 

i think maybe not so often i be here.


----------



## JGreenwood

Broken. Crumbling apart piece by piece. Tired.


----------



## DubnRun

super confident for no reason?!..wish I had somewhere to socialise ..confidence eradicates SA!!


----------



## Unkn0wn Pleasures

Numb, a little nostalgic. Cheated: I've done really well at work this week, in several anxiety-provoking challenges and being social and communicating well in general, yest I don't feel any less pathetic.


----------



## Elleire

redundant


----------



## Unkn0wn Pleasures

Duke of Prunes said:


> Currently in my bloodstream:
> - 240 mg of codeine phosphate
> - 20 mg of methylphenidate (via sublingual/buccal)
> - countless spliffs and one-hitters (with a blend of some homegrown indica of unknown variety from an acquaintance, and some commercially grown haze)
> - numerous shots of the ancient single malt scotch I got for my birthday (hey, I've been up all night, so it's not too early to drink!)
> - a fairly decent cigar
> 
> I'm feeling rather good right now


 Codeine phohospahte... Now there's an idea


----------



## Ambivert

manic...like i dont give a toss


----------



## Rossy

In a lot of pain.


----------



## dave twothree

Depressed, but at the same time chilled out.


----------



## Losm

Excellent.


----------



## iChoseThisName

Depressed and irritable. Today was a pretty decent day, this feeling came out of nowhere. Almost felt like crying there.


----------



## melissa75

...depressed. I like my little comfort zone where nothing bad happens and should just keep it that way. Always.


----------



## artynerd

Feel sad


----------



## Losm

Tuckered out.


----------



## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin

Recuperated


----------



## Daft

Tired of bottling things up.


----------



## estse

my feelings cannot be stated on this website due to moderation and guidelines.


----------



## Blawnka

Lonely.


----------



## laura024

I'm ok. Pretty stable for like...the first time ever.


----------



## DubnRun

being pushed into a meditative spiritual state of being yet with the same high level of intense loneliness and "lacking" feeling.. hanging like a dark cloud over me.


----------



## artynerd

Still feeling sad. I feel im cursed with no friends..

Im old and I have no friends at all.


----------



## jstwnalive

IvyAndRoses said:


> Sad and pathetic.


me too


----------



## artynerd

Im feeling happy about something. And it feels great to know that


----------



## James_Russell

^Yay 



I'm feeling tired and gross.
But generally pretty happy


----------



## Perkins

Tired and worried


----------



## DubnRun

****itall


----------



## Desmond1990

Better than I did this time yesterday..


----------



## DubnRun

I dont have a life, i simply exist.


----------



## artynerd

Feel not too bad. But .. theres always a but..


----------



## Define Me

A friend of mine died today, I feel really sad atm......


----------



## mezzoforte

Inadequate


----------



## leave me alone

Confused.


----------



## jg43i9jghy0t4555

Kind of lost, but high on life

Working is all that makes me feel safe. it's weird, but it keeps my self esteem intact and all that. Helps me fend of depression.


----------



## Barette

I'm feeling pretty darn good. I have some weird feeling of anxiety so my stomach hurts, but I'm gonna go to the gym and see if I can work it out.


----------



## odd_one_out

I don't know. I was all ready for sleep then thought of someone I love and am wide awake with thoughts buzzing. My brain's not made for sleep. But it can't seem to get enough of it during the day :|.


----------



## low

Very, very bored lately and like my room is a prison, and quite down the past few days to be honest.


----------



## Citrine

Alright...feelin a bit lazy though.


----------



## leave me alone

I feel ok. Discovered an album that I really like and cant get enough of. Small things like this keep me alive.


----------



## Rossy

Pissed off.


----------



## CabecitaSilenciosa

Like the android of the house.
Like I will forever be a backup friend.
Like a conversation killer and killjoy.
Disgusting.



Define Me said:


> A friend of mine died today, I feel really sad atm......


Sorry for your loss.


----------



## Rossy

Good


----------



## DubnRun

ive never left the house for 6 years, aside from college that i now dont attend. So alone and bored. 
yeah and no future. so suicdal


----------



## HeyImAnAlien

Eh a little unwanted. And very tired :/


----------



## GreenRoom

*paranoid* about being,
*unwanted* when hanging out with people while I'm,
*depressed* because I'm 
*worried* about being
*paranoid*

in other words fine and dandy


----------



## artynerd

Hasnt been a great year so far and its already the start of Febuary. :S


----------



## MsDaisy

I'm getting overwhelmed with finances. My vehicle is leaking fluid and sounds horrible. Gotta drive it to work though. How am I going to put it in the shop with no money? No second car to get to work? :cry


----------



## suzannekeen

Contented


----------



## artynerd

feel not too bad. my dad feels a bit better today but u never know wot mite happen next.. so i just hope it will be better.


----------



## Rossy

Unsure


----------



## mezzoforte

Penisy.


----------



## cjamja

semi-happy at the moment


----------



## Charliegirl6

Felt really down earlier, but after crying I felt so much better. It's like I had it all backed up and over loaded for a long time.. woosh abd gone! Now I feel good.


----------



## Brightpaperwarewolf

Wondering how the hell I got here and how one person can harm themselves so badly. Oh my god I'm screwed. That's all I can keep thinking to myself.


----------



## Define Me

Bit lonely and sad, but also happy and satisfied at the same time. Funny, right? Listening to this song atm, will go to sleep soon (It's over 3 am here).


----------



## Sourdog

I just came back from work, so i feel bad


----------



## heyJude

Feeling really anxious right now.


----------



## peril

A little disoriented... I just woke up.


----------



## Tentative

Pretty good.


----------



## MagusAnima

Sicky.  
I have tonsillitis again and am hungry, but it hurts to swallow food.


----------



## Rossy

In pain again.


----------



## Perkins

Stressed.


----------



## artynerd




----------



## artynerd

feeling bit better today


----------



## Boring Loser

I'm....awake.


----------



## Neutrino

tired as usual


----------



## Catnap

I don't know, lonely maybe. :blank


----------



## Marakunda

Meh, I'm very indifferent at the moment.
I really couldn't care less about anything.


----------



## Brenee

Really weird. I've been feeling really depressed lately. My grandfather died this past June and my grandmother died last month. I've been dealing with that and trying to get over my feelings I have for a friend. Tonight I finally expressed everything to this friend and although she just wants to remain friends I can move on completely now.


----------



## rawrguy

****ty just plain ****ty


----------



## leave me alone

Not bad. Hope this day will be better than yesterday.


----------



## artynerd

a bit down...


----------



## meganmila

Sad and mad


----------



## Duke of Prunes

Incredibly bored...


----------



## ThatLonerChick

How am I feeling? 
Kind of stupid.. 
I Like this guy and he is the biggest extrovert I have ever met (not the annoying type, just really friendly) 
and I am such a spaz around him -_- its terrible!! lol 
I get so nervous sometimes... gah..


----------



## enzo

hungry


----------



## artynerd

Im feeling sad, I dont know how to be a girlfriend. Dont think It could ever happen. I always end up talking to guys I fancy like a friend. Its not natural for me to flirt, I really am bad at it. I end up just talkin like a friend  

friend-zone for life


----------



## Little Gory

I'm not certain. Groggy and sleepy from staring at the screen all day.
Just dumped three friends in the course of one week. Burning bridges, I'm good at that. Don't know how I should be feeling about it all, though. Still not over my girlfriend betraying me... 

But on top of that I found this thread incredibly intriguing. It was interesting to see how many different people feel. And it was interesting to find a handful that I could relate to.


----------



## cgj93

-


----------



## mezzoforte

Lonely, pensive, sleepy.


----------



## RiversEdge

really good


----------



## artynerd

sad about the past.. i decide to let go of it and move on. That'll make me feel bit better to get that out of my chest, but it will take some time..


----------



## mezzoforte

Hungry. And not tired for once...
A little sad, but not as much as usual.


----------



## cjamja

Positive  and a little peckish!


----------



## cafune

Bitter, anxious, stressed, sad, indecisive. What a wonderful combination. :/


----------



## cgj93

-


----------



## mezzoforte

Decent. About to go shopping


----------



## Catnap

Actually, not bad! I didn't feel quite so hot earlier, but I guess it was temporary moodiness. I'm not sure what exactly got me feeling fuzzy again, but the cloudy weather helps!


----------



## Barette

I feel super tired, and but going home helped me relax some. I can't wait until spring break when I get to be home for a whole week!


----------



## Neptunus

Meh.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Despair. I want to attend classes but don't know if I can afford to.


----------



## Perkins

Pent up.


----------



## Gorillaz

frustrated, arrogant, angry.


----------



## Boring Loser

Miserable and bored. I've been staying home all the time and not going anywhere and not doing anything cause i just don't know what to do and where to go. I feel like i'm stuck, cause i don't really know how to go anywhere and do stuff. Going to the store and post office is the only thing i ever leave the house for. I wish i would do more stuff and have people to be around who i enjoy being around. I'm also having trouble eating and sleeping lately.


----------



## mcmuffinme

mezzoforte said:


> Lonely, pensive, sleepy.


i hate when i'm feeling pensive and sleepy. only one feeling can win, and it's always the same one. of course, feeling lonely is always s***.

i feel sad. just sad.


----------



## mezzoforte

Relieved.


----------



## ScantyGeoduck

Suspiciously happy which me worried...


----------



## ScantyGeoduck

Effed up my first post. Typical. Heh.


----------



## Tentative

Anxious and tired...I can't wait for the next 9 hours to be over. Feeling sort of depressed right now. Feel like staying at home and doing nothing, but I can't. Meh.


----------



## Firecracker73

Terrible,depressed,lonely, like giving up,like nobody will never care about me or respect me...


----------



## mik

tired but excited to take on the next day!!!! Probably the candy I had...


----------



## Unexist

I am feeling absolutely crap because I'm to freaking scared to talk to people and when I do I just go blank anyway...


----------



## Tacos

I wish I was talking to somebody right now.


----------



## eppe

sad and jealous. fb newsfeed is filled with couples expressing their love for each other. forgot its valentines today. should have stayed away from facebook.


----------



## odd_one_out

Like a complete social disaster. I keep hearing that phrase repetitively in my head this week, "social disaster, social disaster, social disaster ..."


----------



## jessckuh

I feel, hmm....OK? I'm even kind of excited to see what's going to happen today for my birthday. Yes, I got my hopes all up believing that some one will do something or another for me. If not, than I'll make my cheesecake, blow out a candle I'll stick in it and read my favorite book till I fall asleep. I'm just grateful to be turning 20 reguardless.


----------



## artynerd

a little sad  ..


----------



## Tentative

Stupid...but still hopeful.


----------



## Perkins

In physical pain, tired, sad, and I miss that special someone.

Speaking of which, happy Valentine's Day, silly monkey.


----------



## Mithun

Inspired by Milleniumman95's exceptional stay here on SAS and read his profile. Am feeling very ambitious to do some thing best out of me.


----------



## mezzoforte

Tired...looks like English class will be naptime.


----------



## Hopeful25

Sick :no


----------



## afraid2goinpublic

Quite well today, actually. Thank-you for asking.  YEHA the pills are working!! 12 and counting, lmao!


----------



## Lasair

Off my antidepressant 4 weeks and right now I feel good!


----------



## Rossy

Awful lot of physical pain.


----------



## Witchcraft

Not too good, I'm afaid. Oh, and also sleepy.


----------



## lightsout

surprisingly not as bad as I thought I'd feel on V-Day (all the chocolate I've eaten? haha). Talking with a good friend throughout the day probably the reason why.


----------



## DubnRun

Ill, cant wait to get some good fresh fruit n veg soon.. been ages since i ate well.


----------



## cafune

Honestly... like a zombie on autopilot.


----------



## artynerd

fine today, im soon gonna be free! so yay!


----------



## Julzei

Live Laugh Love said:


> Honestly... like a zombie on autopilot.


same here.


----------



## Boring Loser

Very, very tired even though I had 7 hours of sleep last night! (First good sleep I've had in the past 2 weeks.) Still depressed quite a lot even though I had a good day yesterday and today.


----------



## cgj93

-


----------



## artynerd

maybe takin vitamin D3 does help improve mood. Im feeling bit better after I just took 1.


----------



## IllusionOfHappiness

Like there aren't enough hours in the day.


----------



## heyJude

Sleepy


----------



## AllToAll

Sorta ****ty: I gained weight over the holidays, I got a terrible haircut last week, and I'm not doing great in school.


----------



## intheshadows

Forgotten....


----------



## Boring Loser

Finally getting tired. But i'm not gonna sleep! I'm gonna force myself to not fall asleep during the day, and stay up till at least 10 or 11 tonight. Don't know if i can.


----------



## cgj93

-


----------



## tutliputli

Shattered


----------



## jg43i9jghy0t4555

hungry :3


----------



## IllusionOfHappiness

Happy. Can this please last? Pretty please?


----------



## TheDaffodil

I feel ugly, really....  Which I hate because it seems like I never feel beautiful for long.
But I don't feel stressed...though I ought to, haha. I guess that's a plus.


----------



## She

lonely. just lonely.


----------



## wheretocop

I guess this is a good enough place to make my first post. I ended up finding this forum because I feel lonely today. It's the weekend, my family is up north, I have no friends, and my girlfriend of two years broke up with me on Wednesday. So yeah... lonely.


----------



## Perkins

Stressed/exhausted.


----------



## JimShorts

unloved


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

I have a headache and I should be worried about an exam I need to take tomorrow morning, but I'm being silly and making posts on SAS instead of studying...which I think I'll leave pretty soon... and not feeling particularly anxious enough about that. Also, I feel shy tonight which makes me feel immature.


----------



## ratbag

I'm feeling neutral and a bit bored. Lately in the mornings I always feel anxiety, which induces insomnia. I'm hoping to fix that.


----------



## Jeffrey91

I feel like sh1t


----------



## cgj93

-


----------



## xTKsaucex

I feel like having an adventure in the woods or mountains for a few weeks on end and just contemplate existence. Ray Mears style.


----------



## Skyliner

Hungover, but happy because it's a beautiful day. Looks like winter is nearly over!


----------



## cj66

Jeffrey91 said:


> I feel like sh1t


.


----------



## Losm

I just want to disappear.


----------



## JenN2791

Good.


----------



## Neptunus

Stressed... very stressed.


----------



## Onomatopoeia

Like a wretch.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Hateful.


----------



## Just Tony

Angry, sensitive.


----------



## RiversEdge

not happy about it being monday - not sure about all that happened on sunday even.


----------



## JenN2791

hungry as hell


----------



## Rossy

Awful pain.


----------



## rapidfox1

Upset


----------



## cafune

Pensive & worried.


----------



## JenN2791

Annoyed.


----------



## MsDaisy

My bones are aching because of all the rain.


----------



## Tentative

Tired. Good night, SAS. See you tomorrow.


----------



## PhilipJFry

Anxious.


----------



## Puppet Master

Sick and pissed


----------



## Lmatic3030

optimistic


----------



## Neptunus

anxious


----------



## RawrJessiRawr

Distant...


----------



## cj66

anxious, worried. destined to fail. i'm dreading this whole week.


----------



## Jr189

relaxed


----------



## ScantyGeoduck

Detached from myself. Floating. Exposed.


----------



## tea111red

Overly exposed.


----------



## mrbrightside84

unhappy with myself


----------



## Skyliner

Spineless and downtrodden.


----------



## artynerd

Feel bit sad, but its okay. 

Im going to be away from the site for some time. take care y'all.


----------



## leave me alone

artynerd said:


> Feel bit sad, but its okay.
> 
> Im going to be away from the site for some time. take care y'all.


Hope you'll be well. Tc


----------



## artynerd

leave me alone said:


> Hope you'll be well. Tc


Awh, thanks leave me alone  hope u will be too!


----------



## Jinxx

Oddly content. Still dreading work tomorrow though.


----------



## Jr189

great!


----------



## CoastalSprite

Vindictive and angry, again.


----------



## RawrJessiRawr

Awful, truly awful


----------



## Rossy

Like giving up completely.


----------



## odd_one_out

Angry but dead inside. Sleep deprivation. I just threw my toys out the pram (my drawing pad and implements across the room). It felt satisfying enough I briefly considered smashing the entire place up.


----------



## artynerd

Really sad, my dad is so weak.. and getting very skinnier than usual. I think its more severe now, hes so stubborn and doesnt want to go hospital. But I'll have to send him back.


----------



## cj66

tired.


----------



## leave me alone

I feel bleh.


----------



## Wacky Wednesdays

Bored. Slightly restless.


----------



## mcmuffinme

disbelieving. i can't believe i've been so alone for so long with no interruption. i thought my life would be different, and i never imagined it would be this lonely. i feel sick when i think of my future. still, i have to resign control, and just hope that life hands me an opportunity by chance someday. 

i dread the feeling of a restless depression that aches to express itself, only to have no one to confide in, just backing up your emotions further until they finally explode in your face. i don't want to feel this way for the rest of my life.


----------



## Zerix

I actually felt pretty ****ty all day, and just angry at sh1t.. then I was persuaded to hit the gym cause my sis didn't feel like going alone, and damn glad I went, I feel SLIGHTLY uplifted.


----------



## Toppington

Pretty confused. I felt fine up until an hour ago. I wonder if I drive people away or if they hate me to begin with. I try to be as friendly as possible and crack jokes, but I can never seem to hold a conversation.


----------



## Rossy

100% Miserable.


----------



## Tentative

Like I need to go to the toilet.


----------



## saso

I feel scared and overwhelmed. unfortunately i think im one of the many who can't be helped. I've been trying for so long to get better. and the littlest things are hard for me to do right now. like leave my house.


----------



## artynerd

Being a girlfriend feels nice  and im really shy too >.<


----------



## AnnaM

broken


----------



## Lasair

Nervous and anxious but in a good way


----------



## jg43i9jghy0t4555

I feel like a new person, now that I know so much of my behaviour is pathological.. it was quite a shock though

It's like my whole personality is laid bare in my DNA

Just feel empty, like always, and it's a crushing emptiness

Everything I do, it doesn't make me truly happy.


----------



## Neptunus

Stressed and anxious.


----------



## RiversEdge

I feel like I wish I could make some of you feel better or cheer you up somehow. Some of you I have never spoken to not once, but I'm familiar with your forum names or have seen you post and your posts have made me laugh or have brightened my day sometimes and you don't even know me. I notice you guys/girls.
I lay in my bed with a horrible sinus cold, feeling like crap -- and I was going to post something about it -- but how can I when you guys are so down - it makes me feel so bad.
I wish you all the best, please cheer up.


----------



## Catnap

More inspired and hopeful lately, but also, lonely.. a bit disappointed with and frustrated with myself. Impatient. I don't want to have to wait six months or so to leave here, but I know I should take advantage of being able to save money and prepare things I will need when I have to go. I wish I had a friend I could stay with, lol. >_>


----------



## Nekomata

Sick from a cold and bored =__= only one hour seven minutes 'till I get to go home...


----------



## Rossy

I alot of pain.


----------



## artynerd

Sad  

I thought I had vitamin D3 deficiency, but I was okay. But when I took the Vit D3 tab before, I felt quite better. Maybe it was just a pychological thing to think its helping with my depression when its just my own mentalness thinking its working. 

Also I hope my dad live longer  I dont know.. he had a life unlike me, and hes young. Hes not that old.


----------



## cgj93

-


----------



## Layla

Annoyed at my doctor.


----------



## PhilipJFry

Exhausted.


----------



## lonelyjew

Kind of crappy. It sucks having to hide you're upset, putting on a nice big smile, trying to be the same happy silly self you usually are, because the other person doesn't care to deal with an upset me, and there is no way a relationship can last if someone (me) is always looking at the negatives.... Oh well, I'll give it two weeks, two weeks of burying my feelings to see if appreciating what time we do have together will leave me happy, and if it doesn't, then I'll deal with that then.


----------



## Syndacus

lonelyjew said:


> Kind of crappy. It sucks having to hide you're upset, putting on a nice big smile, trying to be the same happy silly self you usually are, because the other person doesn't care to deal with an upset me, and there is no way a relationship can last if someone (me) is always looking at the negatives.... Oh well, I'll give it two weeks, two weeks of burying my feelings to see if appreciating what time we do have together will leave me happy, and if it doesn't, then I'll deal with that then.


I'm having to do that everyday. Crap gets tiring after awhile, and sucks not having anyone to confide in that they would feel comfortable with. Something I worry about when I'm in a relationship, how long I can keep it inside of me without her knowing that I'm a nutcase lol.


----------



## enzo

Agitated.


----------



## river1

Numb


----------



## skygazer

c:


----------



## steelmyhead

I'd like to get a hold of some mind altering drugs


----------



## PickleNose

In the past 2 hours, I've consumed 3 21 ounce glasses of yerba mate. I feel like there's a rubber ball bouncing around in my skull.


----------



## Catnap

Depressed ~_~


----------



## Elona

Nervous about tonight. I am supposed to be going out with a couple of friends to a club.
Also, rather annoyed with myself for over sleeping this morning.


----------



## Raulz0r

Right now I feel pretty good tbf


----------



## skygazer

feeling better :>


----------



## Venkska

indifferent

I'm still trying to figure out how to word things properly for the past month and this has been a difficult task...But i'm working on it.


----------



## cafune

lonelyjew said:


> Kind of crappy. It sucks having to hide you're upset, putting on a nice big smile, trying to be the same happy silly self you usually are, because the other person doesn't care to deal with an upset me...


Yes, it does. :/

Can't trust people to stick around for the messy stuff. Most just look to have a good time. Or maybe that's just me being my cynical self. I don't know.

--------------------------
Tense and nauseous and sleepy.


----------



## Eski

Stupid.


----------



## Tibble

Lonely. Bored. Always tired. I feel nonexistent all the time and nobody wants to be around me. Upsetting to watch other people around me be happy and enjoy life while I stare out the window and watch the sun go down. I just wanna forget everything and go away to my own peaceful world where I can be happy and everyone likes me.


----------



## Lawn

Stressed out.


----------



## artynerd

Feel better today  

hope it dont change :/


----------



## Venompoo

Sht I'm feeling like a loser I have a week off UNiversity  doing nothing at home 20 yrs old with parents


----------



## Layla

I spent the night with a few friends watching some movies so I'm doing quite good right now.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Bummed.


----------



## Brightpaperwarewolf

Like all hell is going to break loose.


----------



## Jr189

Im feeling great!


----------



## artynerd

my dad's feeling a bit better, hopefully its not just a saying. :/
so hopefully I'll have free time later


----------



## Duke of Prunes

Lonely...


----------



## Innamorata

Annoyed, slightly confused, disappointed etc.


----------



## lissa530

Really Good!


----------



## pita

Good because it's Friday and this is my supper:


----------



## alte

tired. want a break.


----------



## Witchcraft

Left out.


----------



## Nekomata

Tired, lonely, bored, conflicted, worried. ^^


----------



## Catnap

Kind of depressed at the moment, for multiple reasons... and no one's on to talk to. I'm always alone when I need someone the most. *Sigh*. Just practicing guitar.. I really should express this instead of keeping it in. Maybe it'd give me some kind of release.


----------



## Ashley1990

CALM N BLANK..aWESOME


----------



## Innamorata

Still annoyed.


----------



## skygazer

not better


----------



## ratbag

Very introverted. It's time to get away from people now.


----------



## notna

lonely


----------



## Fruitcake

I feel like smashing up some expensive musical instruments and jumping up and down like an enraged chimpanzee.


----------



## cjamja

Very tired :yawn


----------



## kanra

Borreeeddd and wanting to talk to people.... I'm putting off my project though, guess I should do it, but it's so boring..


----------



## artynerd

I feel very lucky that I found the best man in the world as my boyfriend but sad because I really dont think I can keep him long  and I think he deserves to be happy.


----------



## Jr189

tired and alone.


----------



## Buerhle

Not sure what I'm doing tonight. What people doing tonight?


----------



## jsgt

Apathetic. The light at the end of the tunnel seems to be farther than I thought...maybe out of reach. I wish I could turn this damn thing off(my brain). :blank


----------



## cafune

Like ****. Too many emotions, can't cope. Have so much work to do but feeling unmotivated. Absolutely dreading school tomorrow. Someone just kill me now and be done with it.


----------



## artynerd

I feel fine


----------



## Asbel18

Really, Really irritated at the moment. I did poorly on my math quiz, not because I didn't get the right answers (Which I did on all of them) but they were all marked wrong because it wasn't in the right "Format"


----------



## Tentative

Annoyed and tired.


----------



## Princess143

Tired, always tired, always unwanting to look in the mirror, anxious about first therapy appt even though it is just to get info before I see the doctor...


----------



## artynerd

very sad  
Im so un-fun to talk to, no originality, no sense of humor. 

I just dont think I interest him. Hes prob just likes me cos I like him, but hes not happy with me


----------



## artynerd

Still sad


----------



## afraid2goinpublic

Extreme deppresion and sadness! We just lost my father in law on the 26th and I had been caring for him for over 20 yrs so I feel a great loss! And I am spiraling down into my typical pattern I dont greive right away I tend to hold it in and then POP later. 
ANYONE have ANY suggestions??? on how to cope ?? Message me or post here I check quite often, THANK YOU!


----------



## Marakunda

Very tired...

I just pulled an all-niter, watched marble hornets and everymanHYBRID. Now I'm too scared to leave my room, lol, so worth it though.  
Such great stories to follow!


----------



## MsDaisy

I slept for 16 hours under 3 heavy blankets yesterday. Feeliing much better today.


----------



## PhilipJFry

Tired, I haven't slept for a little while.


----------



## Nekomata

Bored and hungry~


----------



## Wacky Wednesdays

Absolutely exhausted


----------



## Nekomata

Content.

Yay for chocolate xD


----------



## Layla

I watched a few movies tonight with a friend and had a few glasses of wine, so quite good right now.


----------



## artynerd

I feel really really nervous :mushy 
Gonna see him soonnn x


----------



## Nekomata

Bored and annoyed.
I need to tidy up the kitchen soon, apparently. So much for equality if he expects me to do everything...


----------



## Lasair

I feel good


----------



## leave me alone

Okay, maybe little nervous.


----------



## Nekomata

Pretty disgusted and annoyed.


----------



## Rossy

Awful.


----------



## Frunktubulus

Tired, lonely and mildly drunk. Another ripping saturday night alone.


----------



## Cynical

I feel ****ty cause my so called friends exiled me from the group, but at the same time kind of happy as well cause I finally saw what they were really about. It's a very interesting emotion I'm feeling right now.


----------



## stewie

:bash:rain:help


----------



## kitshiv01

sick & annoyed


----------



## Freiheit

Not bad, for once. I finally stopped feeling nauseous and I'm less stressed.


----------



## Shadow2009

Bored and lonely.


----------



## Perkins

Congested. I can't stop sneezing today.


----------



## Nekomata

Highly amused xD


----------



## Toppington

Depression was creeping back up on me ever since I woke up this morning because of a lot of things, but I just checked the scale and I came to the end of the damn weight loss plateau I was stuck on and dropped another 2lbs this week, so I think that's enough to make my day.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Positively miserable. Being physically unwell is just as bad as feeling mentally unwell.

I've tried everything to alleviate my symptoms, all kinds of brands and even overdosing on one (big mistake), going to walk-in clinics and pharmacies. Feels hopeless. My doctor's office isn't open today and I need to feel better by tomorrow for work. Just misery.


----------



## Layla

Quite good tonight, I had a quiet night watching some TV shows and stuff with a few glasses of wine so feeling relaxed.


----------



## Onomatopoeia

depleted
empty
lonely


----------



## artynerd

I told him that i was going to change the background of my wallpaper  
but its still just a lonely swan    

part me me still feel bit insecure, im just really sad today


----------



## odd_one_out

Sick of people. Despite minimal exposure.


----------



## Tentative

I don't feel much right now, except for hungry.


----------



## artynerd

Still feel bit sad and withdrawn


----------



## CoastalSprite

Everyone here sounds so sad 

And I am the same. Very lonely too.


----------



## kanra

Ugh.. Sick of so many things. Including myself.


----------



## KelsKels

Guilty.. for my mom buying me clothes when Im almost 19.


----------



## IllusionOfHappiness

Onomatopoeia said:


> depleted
> empty
> lonely


:squeeze

Insecure


----------



## Dissonance

I suppose alright, I can't be surprised with everything around me I must make a effort to change.


----------



## Neptunus

Rusted and weathered...


----------



## mik

Great!


----------



## mcmuffinme

dysphoric.


----------



## S D

I feel awesome, like there is so much fun and beauty in the world and I want to take it all on.


----------



## Nekomata

Bored and hungry.
*rolls around on the floor*


----------



## motherof3

I am hungry and dying for some McDonald's cheese burgers, but its breakfast menu time ):


----------



## artynerd

i feel a bit like a controlling freak :/


----------



## Radiata

Kind of numb, and unsure of what to do...
I feel like I don't have much motivation. 
I ended my friendship with a super close friend yesterday night, and he made it clear he didn't see me as a friend anymore. Still aches to think about it, and it's been constantly on my mind. :/


----------



## Rossy

Frustrated.


----------



## LWR

crap, probably like most people in the forums anyways.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Good, actually. Had a fun day at work despite it being a training day for new tasks, because I got to work with my sweet coworkers and we yakked the whole time.


----------



## Xtraneous

Alright.


----------



## Layla

Wide awake, it's 3.15am and I can't sleep.


----------



## SicilianuAmericanu

depressed, lonely, alienated, and completely defeated


----------



## StayingMotivated

hungry for someeeeeee fooooodddd


----------



## cafune

Kind of happy and slightly hopeful.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Okay. My hay fever symptoms have returned after a couple days of reprieve, but I had a nice crepe lunch with a high school friend I hadn't seen in almost a year.


----------



## ratbag

I just need someone to talk to.


----------



## artynerd

I feel strange today. Mixed emotions..


----------



## CoastalSprite

Depressed right now. No particular reason. Just depressed.


----------



## saso

relaxed


----------



## Nekomata

Like I'm getting a headache ><


----------



## leave me alone

Sad, bored.. don't have anything meaningful to do.


----------



## Tentative

Late.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Lethargic.


----------



## ratbag

I feel like painting.


----------



## MsDaisy

Can't stop crying the past few days. It's so beautiful outside, but I don't have time to enjoy it. I think need a vacation away from work. I want to get out of here.


----------



## TheDaffodil

I feel very satisfied with how much I've gotten done today. I cleaned pretty much the entire house. I've washed a majority of the linens (though I'm still wanting to do the slip covers...it hasn't been very long since I last washed them but my dog got dirt and hair on them!). But I still have more to do, with school work...I have a couple of midterms to study for and some assignments to do and I want to get as much done today and tomorrow as possible because I'm spending the weekend watching two young boys and I want to be able to give them a lot of attention and also not be distracted by them! So I'm happy but I'm feeling worried about handling what I want to handle. And then romance...ugh, I don't see how people do relationships sometimes. They're so stressful.


----------



## Layla

Feeling tired, gonna go bed soon.


----------



## heyJude

Sleeeepy.


----------



## Starstuff13

I just smoked some weed. i have been awake for 30 hours. deliriously high. but had a good day(s).


----------



## Radiata

I feel very drained. I'm trying to be optimistic, but it's kind of failing.
I'm a bit angry on someone's behalf, and just feel sorry for another. 

Still, I feel a bit more secure about myself right now. I just need to plan some things out, and then I can get started with school. I feel like I've come a far way, and that makes me content.


----------



## Nekomata

Bored, and kinda annoyed that I need to go out soon. Bah, humbug.


----------



## love is like a dream

I feel stupid ..


----------



## A Void Ant

Lonely.


----------



## Dissonance

unwanted


----------



## Queen of Spades

Annoyed, hopeless, betrayed


----------



## whatevzers

three words: fml


----------



## ForeverYoung21

I am feeling sick , dizzy and feel like I'm going to faint, might have to go bed soon.

Also I have work drama this is what happened..one guy who said he liked me and If I liked him back he was like yeah, we ended up kissing at a work party, which was big thing for me to do...He has now sent me a message telling me why I have told everyone this, but one person asked me and all I said was the truth which was we kissed in the club and at the bus stop he snogged me. But he said there was one peck and that's it, I think he was drunk that time so he don't remember, in the message he also said he's seeing someone so he doesn't appreciate me twisting the truth (which I am not)... work will be so awkward when I get back ARGH !

Sorry just needed to vent ...


----------



## Faith7

Furtigo, need I say anymore


----------



## artynerd

I feel worthless when im on SAS


----------



## Layla

Okay at the moment, little lonely, but I just watched TV shows all night to pass the time.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Okay. Crappy days at work but my family and friends are making me feel better.


----------



## Toppington

At least I can say that I'm still losing weight. Not so great when it comes to the depression, but I'm probably just being overly emotional again. Lack of sleep isn't helping me think clearly. I wish I'd stop waking up at like 2am and not being able to fall back asleep. Annoying me to no end lately.


----------



## Deathsmelody

That there is no where I belong and never will find anywhere where I do...


----------



## Nekomata

Tired and a bit hungover and a bit worried *yawn*


----------



## Tentative

Hollow.


----------



## Help please

Not good at all


----------



## CoastalSprite

Exhausted.


----------



## InMyDreams55

Bored.


----------



## Neutrino

Foolish, ignored and sad.


----------



## Layla

Nervous, my brother and his wife visit tomorrow, even though they are family I don't see them much so hoping I will be okay.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Lonely.


----------



## Neutrino

artynerd said:


> *hugs* hope you feel better soon!


Thank you, I'm feeling better, albeit a little tired. Hope you feel better soon too 

(p.s.- ask him what's going on with him and tell him how you are feeling. You deserve better than ignored "I love you's")

(p.p.s. - don't mean to tell you what to do, just a suggestion)

^_^


----------



## Disastuh

Worried


----------



## artynerd

Neutrino said:


> Thank you, I'm feeling better, albeit a little tired. Hope you feel better soon too
> 
> (p.s.- ask him what's going on with him and tell him how you are feeling. You deserve better than ignored "I love you's")
> 
> (p.p.s. - don't mean to tell you what to do, just a suggestion)
> 
> ^_^


Thats good and thanks

Yeah thats true. The last message he sent me, he said it Maybe I see if he continues I would tell him bout it







Thanks for helpin me out


----------



## Neutrino

artynerd said:


> Thats good and thanks
> 
> Yeah thats true. The last message he sent me, he said it Maybe I see if he continues I would tell him bout it
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Thanks for helpin me out


Oh yay :yay


----------



## artynerd

Neutrino said:


> Oh yay :yay


 Thanks! Im feeling much better now.


----------



## odd_one_out

Like a sissy. Worried.


----------



## Layla

I'm feeling okay, I wasn't too bad when my brother visited, I handled it much better that I thought I would.


----------



## Neutrino

artynerd said:


> Thanks! Im feeling much better now.


^_^ good to hear.


----------



## KiwiGirl

I'm feeling very good today. Its amazing what a nice sunny day does to your mood after a whole week of rain, wind, fog and cold weather.


----------



## nycdude

Tired  school and work is just to overwhelming.


----------



## Toppington

Motivated. I don't need anyone else. I can do this on my own and then I'll have the confidence I need to meet people without them approaching me out of pity. Regardless... This is gonna be a long 4 or 5 months.


----------



## FireIsTheCleanser

Bad, why can't I just hibernate like a bear and sleep forever until I die?


----------



## cj66

fat, .


----------



## Whatev

Bleh


----------



## Boring Loser

I'm really tired and have a headache and can't sleep.


----------



## Neptunus

Foggy headed.


----------



## SOME

sharp pain all over my back and muscles.


----------



## DAM71392

incomplete as usual


----------



## Catnap

Very depressed.


----------



## Your dreaming WAKE UP

anxious...


----------



## BarryLyndon

Kinda drunk...


----------



## Perkins

Stressed, worried.


----------



## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin

Groovy.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Mostly tired.


----------



## cafune

Glum. :/


----------



## Toppington

Really good today, actually. I know my moods shift really easily, but I hope I can keep this up for at least today. I've been having a great day for no particular reason.


----------



## Tentative

Stressed out. Hopefully the coming week will be over before I know it. Such a negative mood that I've been in lately. I'm hopeful, but I don't know how exactly my situation is going to improve.


----------



## MoonlightSky

A bit depressed and bored really.


----------



## Dystopia

I actually feel happy today. My thoughts are processing in a positive way. Talked to strangers today and the summer like weather makes me happy.
I was going through summer withdrawal!


----------



## MoonlightSky

I feel slightly better now, just seen something that made me laugh


----------



## Layla

I have a headache which isn't good, but I actually had a decent day today watching some sport and movies with a friend.


----------



## bkhill5

Had a busy weekend and did a lot of fun stuff...i don't understand why i feel guilty and not happy. hmmm.


----------



## Standup

feeling alright despite the feeling that i've lost the last chance i had with the only girl i ever loved.


----------



## Blawnka

Bored, depressed, and lonely.


----------



## gentleman caller

I ate some indian food for dinner. I don't feel so good. It sounds like there is world war III going on in my stomach right now.


----------



## Jinxx

Depressed. I don't like where I am in life right now.


----------



## UKPhobe

Ill

I have a ***** of a chest infection, a ***** of a fever; I'm shaking like a leaf and trying to keep my lunch down.


----------



## penguin runner

Stressed but happy. One week til exams try to kill me. Plus starting to feel a chest cold coming on doesn't help things.


----------



## Nekomata

Crap. I'd probably end up killing myself if I wasn't so afraid of my mother being upset if I do it.


----------



## Toppington

Woke up feeling alright. Pretty bored, but I lost another pound. I guess that's something to be happy about for today.


----------



## HurtsDonut

I felt like crap when i woke up, but right now I feel great.


----------



## Layla

Had a bad day with a headache that just won't go away, tried various things, but nothing works.


----------



## Dystopia

apathetic


----------



## xTKsaucex

knackered from all the moshing


----------



## Col

I'm feeling fine, though very unproductive today. Blasting music in my headphones.. aahh


----------



## Patriot

I feel suicidal and somewhat manic. Though, I sometimes feel a mild happiness, it doesn't last long.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Worried and guilty.


----------



## Roscoe

unsettled


----------



## nikki1995

alright cud be worse


----------



## Tentative

Frozen.


----------



## LittleGloves

Miserable. Trying so hard to breathe.


----------



## CoastalSprite

LittleGloves said:


> Miserable. Trying so hard to breathe.


Keep hanging on :squeeze And I love the Churchill quote.


----------



## Catnap

Slightly annoyed.


----------



## Layla

Really good today, went out for a quiet drink today in the pub garden with some friends, it was a nice day so I wanted to get out.


----------



## Radiata

Disconcerted, guilty, a bit giddy. Very tired.
Strange combination.


----------



## Nekomata

Bored, hungry, thoughtful and a tiny bit miserable. *hates being sad on a nice day* lol


----------



## CoolSauce

had difficulties breathing since monday evening till now (pressure on chest). I feel ok-ish now.. I don't know if this means I will get/ already had a heart attack or not but visiting a doctor and maybe having to go to hospital freaks me out 

****


----------



## Witchcraft

Tipsy


----------



## copper

Still fighting this chronic cough. Trying not to have a coughing fit. Stupid inhaler they gave me isn't doing anything. This is the third one they gave me. I think I have nerve damage in my throat, but docs won't listen.


----------



## Radiata

I feel pretty neutral. A bit sad my doctor wrote up the wrong dosage for one of my medications. I'll have to wait a while until the pharmacist can get in touch with him before I can pick my prescription up. 

My art class begins in less than an hour, but I'm procrastinating getting ready...
I feel so unmotivated. 

...And a little guilty since I think I'm becoming a whiner! :bah


----------



## CoastalSprite

Worried about how I'm going to get to work tomorrow morning. My shift starts at 6 A.M. and the Skytrain and buses don't come early enough for me to make it on time. My mom said she'll drive me but I'm not sure if she'll stick to her word.


----------



## Standup

Like garbage.


----------



## Layla

Okay, I fell asleep and woke up at around 2am so my sleep pattern is messed up.


----------



## KiwiGirl

Annoyed right now.


----------



## Xmsbby

Mad tired but can't sleep!


----------



## Neutrino

Very lonely and hurt. My head hurts too. Not looking forward to the next couple days/weeks/forever.


----------



## trendyfool

I'm waiting for things to happen. I'm feeling suddenly though that the things I'm waiting to happen might be good, not bad. So I guess you could say I'm feeling hopeful, for the first time in a long time.


----------



## Radiata

Soooooo amazingly tired...
I always feel like death once my ADD medication wears off, and it has. 
I am a zombie, and all the motivation and spark and willingness to socialize has vanished. :fall

Also anxious for when one of my friends moves to Cali this upcoming Monday. 
I'm terrified I'll let him down, and I'm scared I might do something wrong. Blech.
[/whine]


----------



## DAM71392

Disconnected mainly how ive been feeling these days it sucks


----------



## Nekomata

Neutrino said:


> Very lonely and hurt. My head hurts too. Not looking forward to the next couple days/weeks/forever.


Ditto this, minus the head hurting but plus being slightly tispy. *sighs*


----------



## Milco

Nekomata said:


> Ditto this, minus the head hurting but plus being slightly tispy. *sighs*


Ditto this ditto, adding back in head hurting (sick :\), but minus the tipsiness.


----------



## Lasair

I'm feeling things will work out okay!


----------



## Layla

Like I drank too much wine tonight.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Tired, with a slight brain fog.

Also annoyed because tomorrow is Friday, and I'm likely going to be too tired in the evening and Saturday to even leave the house.


----------



## Kakumbus

Meh like I always do, nostalgic, looking at the future, okay, sore, happy,,sad,bored,alone.


----------



## Toppington

Plagued by boredom which will probably turn to depression soon enough. Maybe I just need to forget all of this for a couple of weeks and then sort it all out. This has all been too much. I still wish I could have one more shot at it. I'd be feeling perfectly fine right now if I did...


----------



## whatevzers

Excited for Spring Break, but afraid that our plans might not come through, and that the entire break will be ruined.


----------



## straightarrows

I'm in a good mood!,,,,, lololol that is rare in my life!


----------



## Catnap

straightarrows said:


> I'm in a good mood!,,,,, lololol that is rare in my life!


Good to hear! I'm also feeling better tonight than I have been lately. Charging my metabolic armband and going to slap it on after midnight, to keep track of myself again. Screw this laying around and feeling depressed crap. I've had it. :eyes


----------



## Don Gio

I feel Fresh and Clean.


----------



## CoolSauce

still feel like crap. I'm fine as long as I lay in bed and sit in front of my pc (on the ground. not the chair) but I feel as if I'll jump around or do something which takes physical effort I'll get a heart attack. The fact that I'm living on less than 1000 calories a day on average doesn't help either


----------



## Tentative

Ready.


----------



## Xtraneous

Hopeless.


----------



## Radiata

I'm okay. Not great. Not happy, but okay. 
I'm also worried. I always seem to be worried recently. 

At this rate, I'm going to get white hair by the time I'm 20.


----------



## CoolSauce

still feeling crap but I'll be cycling to my parent's house in 2 hours or so. Hope I'll make it


----------



## Nekomata

I hate life. F*cking crap is how I'm feeling today lol. Very sad, and deprivated and hurt and hopeless and... alone....


----------



## Don Gio

I feel drugged...


----------



## Prometheus7

Meh,just meh.


----------



## Squirrelevant

There's so much wrong with me. I feel incurably deficient in so many fundamental areas of my personality. I never act in my best interest. I don't think I'll ever be happy.


----------



## Matomi

Quite happy with myself. 
I've decided to get a gym membership and i am beginning to bulk up because if i don't they way i'm going now with what i eat and all that, i'll end up becoming anorexic or close to.
I've also got my CBT next week so, i'm rather nervous (well, really nervous) but i'm excited about it for now.
First time i've felt rather happy in ages, tbh.


----------



## BarryLyndon

Sore :/ but I'm still gonna play some basketball!


----------



## CoastalSprite

Proud of my friend.

Nothing she's accomplished or anything. Just for being her. Met her when we were 14 and she's just an amazing person- probably the most intelligent and moral person I've ever met in my life.

Proud to just know you, babe.


----------



## Layla

Kinda lonely tonight, getting those weird feelings in the stomach you get when feeling down.


----------



## jaymusic1992

feelin sad and lonely today


----------



## Toppington

Pretty damn lonely. Like ****, I guess. I could have it a lot worse, but that doesn't make me worth anything to anyone. I guess I need to just keep things to myself. It never ends well when I open up to people. They may not like to admit it, but they quickly grow distant once they see how much of a stupid train wreck I am.


----------



## sas111

Deprived, very deprived.
 Need company. I want someone who needs me. I'm always the one who needs them. :cry


----------



## Nogy

I'm feeling like i usually do these days....not happy or sad. Not really sure how to explain it, i'm definately not discontent but i'm not sure i could describe it as content. Neutral i suppose, a bit on the positive side. Just trying to take things as they come.


----------



## Zypherus

Ya know... I just can't win :help


----------



## Toppington

Vanilllabb said:


> Deprived, very deprived.
> Need company. I want someone who needs me. I'm always the one who needs them. :cry


Oh, wow. So much this on every level.


----------



## mike285

Tired.


----------



## Dreamscape

Sick. This cold or whatever I have sucks. I haven't really been sick in years, but then I was around someone who I knew was sick and was trying to avoid them... apparently that didn't work out so well.


----------



## Sabreena

Anxious. Depressed. Cant sleep. The usual.


----------



## Kakumbus

I want to go outside but its time to go bed, then tomorrow i will be in a procrastination mood -_-.


----------



## millenniumman75

Sleepy :yawn


----------



## Nekomata

Hungry, bored and still... feeling a sense of impending doom.


----------



## Rossy

Depressed.


----------



## Tentative

Relieved and really tired. Off to bed I go!


----------



## CrysCringle

Hungry, very sleepy, and kind of irritated that I have to wait for a little while for my foooood xP haha


----------



## falling down

Nekomata said:


> Hungry, bored and still... feeling a sense of impending doom.


All this.


----------



## Zypherus

Bitter and full of hate.


----------



## Bbpuff

*Wickity wickity wack,* _yo._


----------



## kanra

A bit creeped out.


----------



## Kennnie

Fat


----------



## CoastalSprite

Depressed.


----------



## falling down

I am feeling very Olympic today.


----------



## Layla

I'm good tonight, had a fairly good day apart from when I went to the doctors.


----------



## Zypherus

After today's events I'm feeling very mean.


----------



## straightarrows

sick and my brian will stop working in few hours!!!!!!!.


I really feel bad,,, don't know what's wrong with me


----------



## Toppington

Insanely bored and lonely. Lotsa funzies.


----------



## Bbpuff

Disgusted.


----------



## Perkins

Sad, as usual.


----------



## KiwiGirl

Sleepy and cold....


----------



## Hallucinating Zebra

[gone]


----------



## Queen of Spades

Responsible.


----------



## Nekomata

Bored and thoughtful, as always xD


----------



## Bbpuff

Like a fatass. I ate too much potato chips.


----------



## DubnRun

Lonely


----------



## dsantiago14

Frustrated. It's the last day of class and I had a chance to talk to this cute girl from class and I chickened out.


----------



## Toppington

Chicken****... :/ I'm so ****ing pathetic.


----------



## straightarrows

Normal


----------



## Layla

Lonely, but trying to listen to some upbeat music to cheer me up.


----------



## UgShy

Tired and lonely


----------



## Dissonance

Hypocrites, THe world is full of them and I dislike them all


----------



## RiversEdge

Not that anyone cares - or may even read this -- but as you mature as an adult, a lot of us (myself for one) have become very wise to relationships - you can pretty much spot people with certain ways easily and
see the games and all the bull crap that you don't want in your life --- but the problem is, when you have younger relatives that just don't believe you - or are blinded by 'love'.
It hurts very bad to see things that they don't and won't accept when you talk to them about it. 
I guess that's why parents and older people would say "let them learn the hard way."

So, I hurt inside and feel frustrated in regards to that. My body feels great. My mood is good and has been for weeks.


----------



## pita

Lonely and stupid.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Despite my fitness level being WAY down due to my constant emotional eating this week and no exercise since I started working full-time, I actually feel good, ecstatic even. My allergy attacks have drastically dropped!! I think they're actually starting to go away!!


----------



## Nekomata

Bored and lonely x.x


----------



## River In The Mountain

I little bit forgotten and unappreciated.


----------



## notna

Sad and nostalgic


----------



## CoastalSprite

Extremely exhausted, which makes no sense because I haven't done anything since yesterday.


----------



## Catnap

Good, but wistful.. there's someone I just wish I could hug right now and catch up on everything I've missed. Everything is really coming together though. I'm feeling so motivated again. I think this will be my year at last.


----------



## Nekomata

Bored and hungry ><


----------



## JustThisGuy

^ SAME. Also, sleepy.


----------



## Tentative

Wasteful. Silly.


----------



## Rossy

Like giving up.


----------



## falling down

Anton said:


> Sad and *nostalgic*


I don't understand this, you're 16 years old. :lol


----------



## notna

falling down said:


> I don't understand this, you're 16 years old. :lol


I miss old friends. Do you understand THIS?


----------



## falling down

Anton said:


> I miss old friends. Do you understand THIS?


Yes I understand that.


----------



## Neutrino

Not horrible. Wishing I could sleep more though, dammit!


----------



## Toppington

Pretty happy. Amazing how much good music can improve your mood. Fast-paced jazz is awesome on a night like this.  Today wasn't bad aside from the whole inability to run a damn key over to a neighbor thing. Hoping the ocean will clear my head a little and let me think about what the hell I'm going to do as far as finishing my basic education and working on my social skills goes. I'm such a mess as is that I have no idea how I'm happy right now. Can it really be just the music? :/


----------



## nonesovile

I'm feeling... betrayed, vengeful, volatile, I need to take up boxing to release anger.


----------



## Nekomata

Tired and bored. Not sure what to do with my free time anymore.. *sigh*


----------



## Catnap

Very good. Just hanging out with my family and having a good Easter.


----------



## Luka92

Depressed.


----------



## AfarOff

Like crap.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Restless.


----------



## Nekomata

Tiny bit hungover, slightly tired and a tad bit impatient ^^


----------



## sanspants08

Like I have mono. Which means I'm not going to work  So, strangely good!


----------



## Neutrino

Better


----------



## Trixabell

Having a bad day of it today, really disliking who I am and I'm terrified of putting anyone out. Hiding it well so far though. WOOHOO \o/


----------



## Tentative

Sneezy.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Sad.


----------



## EricSAD

Body aches from sleeping all day, and just downright disgusted with myself and actions in this world.


----------



## bkhill5

fml


----------



## falling down

like poop


----------



## CoastalSprite

Grumpy.


----------



## AussiePea

Unhealthy.


----------



## Dissonance

Homocidal, lonely, hateful, upset and I wish I could just live in a reality a bit better then this one....It's a living hell here... I wish I lived in my own 2D world of dating sims where it's at least far more equal then it is here..


----------



## Wacky Wednesdays

Irritated by the stitches in my mouth. Also dangerously indifferent.


----------



## Nekomata

Slightly accomplished, bored.


----------



## kapa

lonely.


----------



## falling down

like a piece of dirt


----------



## Kennnie

apathetic


----------



## immensesparkle

Not feeling today at all!


----------



## Dissonance

I feel that despite my constant sadness and no one's ability to understand my depression, I must make a effort to be happy.


----------



## Loveless

I guess I'm in an analytical mood. I keep on refelcting on myself and where I can improve and what I'm doing wrong etc. I say it is a combination of here, another chat site I was on, and the AA meeting I was at in the past 24 hours.


----------



## leave me alone

Ok.... now see how long it lasts.


----------



## trendyfool

I'm feeling melancholy, kind of subdued, wishing I had less fear and more friends.


----------



## Lasair

Slow


----------



## Toppington

****ing terrible.


----------



## nonesovile

Euphoric  yaaaayyy


----------



## andy1984

i feel warm, a little nervous (butterflies?), safe, and a little bit excited.


----------



## Rossy

In serious pain,both knees,left leg and back.


----------



## percyblueraincoat

Deleted


----------



## Rossy

Maybe.


----------



## Lasair

insecure


----------



## CoastalSprite

Not bad


----------



## IllusionOfHappiness

Angry, annoyed, and hopeless.


----------



## Toppington

Bored and worried for what's to come, I guess... :/


----------



## Statsu

Indifferent


----------



## Toppington

**** everything. Honestly... I don't have the energy to cry, be angry or complain anymore. I'm just done. I wish I could sleep for a few months.


----------



## Dissonance

like a liar.


----------



## jsgt

Restless. I can relax my body, but my mind won't stop. I'll never be satisfied. :time :sigh


----------



## AfarOff

So, so horrible.


----------



## Dissonance

I feel empty like I'm a doll who's body will just suddenly stop moving.


----------



## lettersnumbers

I'm feeling alot better today than I have been feeling for the past week. Up until last night I was certain I was loosing my mind, but I've found this forum and it's a great outlet.. So today I feel pretty good .


----------



## odd_one_out

Unwanted.


----------



## NatureFellow

LIKE I NEED ANOTHER COOKIE TO GO WITH THIS TEA.
yeah!
yeeee!


----------



## odd_one_out

Wanted.


----------



## lettersnumbers

Weird..


----------



## mezzoforte

stupid, insensitive


----------



## Dissonance

My head finally feels relieved.


----------



## thora

i felt pretty good about an hour ago after having had a conversation with my sister. now after being online here for about an hour, my mood is coming down again. i don't know what it is, but reading other people's posts, I can't help but feel like I'm lower in the totem pole.


----------



## Yogurt

Feelin okay. Lil anxious


----------



## rainbowOne

Happy! :yay


----------



## PineconeMachine

Feeling alright.


----------



## Insanityonthego

Lame


----------



## Lasair

Like my world is being invaded


----------



## Dissonance

I want to disappear.


----------



## falling down

Like a holy sh*t stew.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Tired.


----------



## fallen18

Feeling cra*ptastic I wish I could just dissolve into thin air and be and feel nothing anymore just to escape.


----------



## steelmyhead

I'm hanging in there... maybe something good will happen tomorrow.


----------



## Toppington

fallen18 said:


> I wish I could just dissolve into thin air and be and feel nothing anymore just to escape.


I feel the same way a lot of the time. Let us dissolve into thin air together!

---

Not sure if I actually have a handle on my jealousy issues for now or I'm just too tired to care about this right now. I really hope it's the former.


----------



## LordScott

sleepy


----------



## Nekomata

Annoyed.


----------



## lkkxm

lettersnumbers said:


> I'm feeling alot better today than I have been feeling for the past week. Up until last night I was certain I was loosing my mind, but I've found this forum and it's a great outlet.. So today I feel pretty good .


This. Also I'm a little afraid that since this week is going so well something bad is going to jump up, bite me in the *** and drag me back down to wherever I was before


----------



## mezzoforte




----------



## Toppington

Nope. Can't go one day without feeling like this. It always, always, always comes back to depression. No matter how long I convince myself to be happy for every day, it always comes back before I go to bed. Words can't even begin to describe how much I ****ing hate this sinking feeling. I really don't get it. Maybe I need to just have someone knock me out before 8pm every single day or something. False sense of security indeed...


----------



## sas111

Creepy & awkward as ****.


----------



## Neutrino

Toppington said:


> Nope. Can't go one day without feeling like this. It always, always, always comes back to depression. No matter how long I convince myself to be happy for every day, it always comes back before I go to bed. Words can't even begin to describe how much I ****ing hate this sinking feeling. I really don't get it. Maybe I need to just have someone knock me out before 8pm every single day or something. False sense of security indeed...


:rub and :twak (you are difficult to knock out...)

I'm hungry


----------



## Jinxx

Terrible.


----------



## sansd

Nervous and impatient. I sent an e-mail and want a reply so I can judge whether it was okay.


----------



## Nekomata

Hungry and tired~


----------



## leave me alone

Cold and somewhat dreamy.


----------



## cafune

Overwhelmed, anxious, wistful.


----------



## BarryLyndon

Hungry. Woof


----------



## UgShy

Nervous.


----------



## lkkxm

A little depressed, tired, bored, worthless, and hopeful that I will get over it soon


----------



## Insanityonthego

Amazing and ready to live my life again!


----------



## Noll

Sad.


----------



## moxosis

I am feeling just like this woman.


----------



## TmastermanT

Bored


----------



## mezzoforte

Languid and lonely.


----------



## lkkxm

Lonely, Bored, Depressed and Secretive.... Not a good combination of things... Also I'm a little afraid that I've become addicted to something...


----------



## Tentative

Weird, but in a good way.


----------



## Mahglazzies

Absolutely ****ing miserable.


----------



## Toppington

Useless in general. So-so all around, I guess. That might change later tonight.


----------



## Kakumbus

Sick, want to do something productive but my body tells me to stfu.


----------



## Toppington

Still useless. Indifferent about everything at this point. Going to bed early tonight for sure. Not sure if I'll actually be able to sleep though.


----------



## Bunyip

I feeeel
exhausted and sunburned

and I want to reread the Aubrey--Maturin series because I'm a loser
jack aubrey you teach me all the things

uhh I feel
Idk
kind of fat but it's mostly because of my boobs which sucks wat
seriously they grew again and tons of my shirts don't fit me anymore and I hate clothes shopping and ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

allergies are bothering me

so tired


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Phlegmatic, annoyed, and depressed


----------



## intheshadows

Ready to go to sleep.


----------



## Loveless

moxosis said:


> I am feeling just like this woman.


That's sexy


----------



## Matomi

Extremely tired and frustrated.


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

Like I need to brush my teeth once more. I have a dentists appointment on the 2nd and I'm nervous I have a cavity. Blah. My teeth is one of my insecurities.


----------



## meeps

moody as ****


----------



## Kascheritt

Good.


----------



## Bunyip

Supercrappy. x`x My eyes are acheyy.... Allergies kicking my ***, nbd.


----------



## Noll

Horrible, I feel like crying all the time and I just want to die.


----------



## AnotherRawAddict

A bit overwhelmed with school work. I know I can get through it if I can somehow keep the motivation up.


----------



## Toppington

Wish I could ****ing scream, but nope. Brother had to stay home today. Sigh. I do this to myself, I guess.


----------



## ameliewakelin

I'm feeling great today:clap


----------



## Yogurt

Pretty goooood! I learned how to make gifs today so I'm happy


----------



## Toppington

Every day is the same. I'm just so bored of life. :blank

Sexual frustration is also at it's peak and my family's already home for the day. I really wish I lived alone or at the very least had a quieter family. All of their voices just irritate the **** out of me lately. :sigh Not like masturbation actually gets rid of that for long at this point anyway.

Bored, sexually frustrated with no girlfriend and hating my family. WEE!


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

I'm okay. Earlier in the day my whole face felt numb and tingly so it was a strange experience. I also felt nauseous. Going biking helped, though. Went to Home Depot. 3/4" rope is 67 cents a foot. I was afraid it would be a lot but thank god it's not! And now I'm eating sunflower seeds.


----------



## Mahglazzies

Severely depressed, because I'm still trying to get over my ex-girlfriend who left me about a month ago. I miss the closeness of an intimate relationship, I miss the love and comfort she used to give me and I miss the sex, too. Hell, I just miss... her.

Even if/when I get over her, it's going to be a long time before I find somebody else. I'm amazed I landed her back in High School. Nobody else had really paid any attention to me, because I'm a little off-putting.

Uh... so in short? Yeah, I'm lonely, depressed, miserable, sad, angry and sexually frustrated all at once. Heh.


----------



## intheshadows

aimless.......


----------



## CoastalSprite

Was feeling kind of happy earlier but now I just feel sad and lonely.

Should probably go to bed so I don't have to feel this way.


----------



## Daniel93

Like jumping off a bridge :rain


----------



## Bunyip

paranoid I'm going to miss my orthodontic appointment at 2:10

fdfjhdjgsd

sick


----------



## Toppington

Ugh... I can't stand going out anymore period, but... Teeth cleaning sucks no matter how well you take care of your teeth. I don't want any lectures. :sigh I've been spoiled by the laughing gas from my wisdom teeth extractions.


----------



## Bunyip

I'm feelliiingg.. in pain more than usual after orthodontist appointments
they did a lot of bends/adjustments to my wire and chained things differently and I have to wear rubber bands on both sides againnn

on the bright side, I'm 23/24 scheduled months of wearing braces! I'll go over that two year average, but that's okay as long as I'm still close to the end of my treatment. =D My orthodontist said that he may take off the bracket off of six of my teeth next time and I'll have them off from June 13th to July 19th! DGHDGHD OH I WOULD BE SO HAPPY JUST TO SEE MY TEETH METAL-LESS AGAIN, even if temporarily! C: <3 It just makes me so happy that this is all final adjustments.

My momma got us Starbucks today, which was very nice of her~~

On another note, my sister is kind of an idiot for putting up with her even-bigger-idiot husband.


----------



## copper

Very depressed. Too much bull**** at work. Tired of this stupid cough that doesn't go away and the doctor can't find whats wrong. Now my mom is harping about going to Arizona to visit my brother in November after his wife has the baby. I wish dad would just take her. I have to much anxiety to fly and driving would take too long. I don't know what to tell her.


----------



## Loveless

With bayern beating Madrid I'm feeling pretty damn good right now


----------



## Onesize Fitzpatrick

Feeling like one giant scab today... Decided to go on a drunken whisky fueled jog at 3 am on Monday and scraped the flesh offa my palms and side and ankle and pretty much everywhere for that matter.


----------



## lettersnumbers

I'm really sick from the flu, other than that I was feeling very lonely since me and this person broke up, it's been 5 days since we spoke, the mood has improved since this morning!


----------



## Toppington

Eh... Kind of off. I don't really feel like I should be anywhere near graduating from high school. I still feel like a kid who hasn't quite grown up, but I'll be expected to be ready to be tossed out into the world in a year or two's time. The thought of that scares me. I don't even know what college would take me (If any... Might have to settle for CC and transfer), let alone decide on anything I could major in that I'd be satisfied with for the rest of my life. :sigh On top of all that, I'm really not liking the idea of fearing failure due to the fact that my parents would be the ones paying for all of it. Getting any scholarships with my grades and records... Yeah. That's not happening. Growing up ****ing sucks, honestly...


----------



## leave me alone

I hope this day will be good. I am getting depressive vibes


----------



## Corvus Cowl

Pretty relaxed at the moment. Gotta go weed eat today


----------



## Nekomata

Bored and isolated, also excited about this anime OVA I plan on watching ^^


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

Uneasy.


----------



## Toppington

Depressed as ****. What happens when I go back to total isolation? I want my body back. I want my confidence back. I hate this life. I really ****ing do. :sigh


----------



## Bunyip

Annoyed.


----------



## Hello22

uneasy. I wish i could make a decision and stick to it.


----------



## Col

Skyloft said:


> Hopeless.


Nnnoooooooo :hug


----------



## Bunyip

Hopeful. Today my mom said that if I really wanted to, she would take me to the doctor to ask about some kind of medication for my social anxiety. I'm not sure if she means it.

This could turn my whole life around. Pleasepleaseplease let it work out...


----------



## Gattz Griffith

Right now, I'm feeling relaxed. I've got loose music playing, chatting with people online, and don't have a whole lot of stress as of right now. Of course, we'll have to see how school changes that ^_^


----------



## ApathyDivine

Hungry!


----------



## intheshadows

Lost


----------



## Neutrino

Silentious said:


> Hungry!


Supa hungry!


----------



## Toppington

Chicken****. Yet again. I can try to play the nice guy, but I'm really the same as every other ignorant ******* around my age. On top of that, I've been forced to accept that life is going to be absolutely nothing like I want it to. People are too complicated for anything to ever be so perfect. Forever alone doesn't seem like such a bad concept when you realize that the only way it could have ever happened is if you got the best possible hand of genes dealt to you at birth. Guess I'll just drone through life as a bitter person like every other guy in my situation.


----------



## CleverUsername

completely isolated, and fairly hopeless atm, but will work out and try to get my mood up temporarily


----------



## Col

miserable, depressed, tired


----------



## AnotherRawAddict

Depressed. Another lonely weekend.


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

I'm good. Finally got the rope I need to kill myself. Been chilling, having a good time.


----------



## UgShy

IWantToDie said:


> I'm good. Finally got the rope I need to kill myself. Been chilling, having a good time.


Don't do it... You're SO young. You've got an entire life ahead of you! Think of all the things you could have and the people you could miss out on. It's really not worth it man


----------



## Bunyip

Lonely. Siiigh~ I think I'm just depressed. I can't even figure out why I feel this way, so that must be it. I just want to feel mutually and genuinely close to someone else.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Worried :?

Which is better than empty.. I think..


----------



## Rest or Real?

I...drank a lot of beer, and...the hoppy liquid delight left...my belly in a state of sloppy...sloshiness...


halfdrunk


----------



## falling down

UgShy said:


> Don't do it... You're SO young. You've got an entire life ahead of you! Think of all the things you could have and the people you could miss out on. It's really not worth it man


He speaks the truth.


----------



## Buerhle

CleverUsername said:


> completely isolated, and fairly hopeless atm, but will work out and try to get my mood up temporarily


I saw your avatar in concert. It was a blast.


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

More **** than I have been in a long time or perhaps ever, I believe. I'm just seeking out any distractions I can find.


----------



## cafune

Poignant regret, sadness and disappointment. Negative emotions cut deeper than knives.


----------



## Igitur

Pretty good overall. Slightly stressed.


----------



## Paper Samurai

slightly stressed out due to an upcoming deadline, but thankfully my mood has been quite stable recently, despite me being in avoidance mode. :teeth


----------



## shelbster18

Sad and lonely. :sigh


----------



## Evo

shelbster18 said:


> Sad and lonely. :sigh


Me too... :squeeze


----------



## Noca

anxious


----------



## CoastalSprite

Nostalgic and longing.

Also a little frustrated.


----------



## Scarlet Tanager

restless, confused, scared ****less, in love....


----------



## ApathyDivine

My tooth hurts


----------



## cafune

Nervous as hell. Kinda scared too. My stomach's acting like a washing machine. Won't stop goddamn swirling. Hopefully I can pull it together within the hour.


----------



## xTKsaucex

totally awesome right now, dude on my course who is a concept artist wannabe like me said some of my work was industry standard. My mouth hit the ground as he knows what he's talking about.


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

like crap. irritable. lonely. frustrated.


----------



## To22

I'm feeling like a degenerate :rain


----------



## Bianca12

I'm feeling sad and stressed out.


----------



## Tangerine

Very relaxed


----------



## Toppington

I'm feeling alright. Just bored. I need to think about a game with clever progression or something. Way too much time to kill for the next few months. Or maybe I should learn about/take an interest in something somewhat fun and useful. :b


----------



## ejmafive

i feel bad simply because i'm bored


----------



## Matomi

Morose...


----------



## frenchie

Frustrated with myself for procrastinating so much and wasting the day


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

a little scared and paranoid but i have taken care of the problem i think and they can no longer find me. but if they did i have a contingency plan.


----------



## falling down

Like the whole world hates me and I didn't even do anything to it.


----------



## Toppington

falling down said:


> Like the whole world hates me and I didn't even do anything to it.


I don't hate you. :heart


----------



## Perkins

Bored, tired. No one's online so I'm left alone to ponder my thoughts/brood, which is dangerous.


----------



## falling down

Toppington said:


> I don't hate you. :heart


Thank you. 



Perkins said:


> Bored, tired. No one's online so I'm left alone to ponder my thoughts/brood, which is dangerous.


There are plenty of people online.


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

triggered by someone talking about their sex life :/


----------



## Perkins

falling down said:


> Thank you.
> 
> There are plenty of people online.


BUT NONE ON MY BUDDY LIST!


----------



## CoastalSprite

Tired and sleepy. I can't stay awake past 16 hours anymore.


----------



## falling down

Perkins said:


> BUT NONE ON MY BUDDY LIST!


Can't make new buddies?


----------



## Toppington

IWantToDie said:


> triggered by someone talking about their sex life :/


That's always a fun one.


----------



## cafune

Good actually. Forgot how it feels to come out of an exam completely satisfied. And happy that I only have one more paper to go. By this time tomorrow, I'll have finished high school.


----------



## xTKsaucex

A little sad, moving out of Uni accommodation... I shed a tear


----------



## NatureFellow

xTKsaucex said:


> A little sad, moving out of Uni accommodation... I shed a tear


lol really?
I'm moving out soon as well, don't know how I'm gonna react..


----------



## xTKsaucex

NatureFellow said:


> lol really?
> I'm moving out soon as well, don't know how I'm gonna react..


yeah man, had some good times here man. Now its back home with parents..... no problem with them just I've been surrounded by peeps my age now its mid 50's talking about choir music. Sigh*


----------



## artynerd

Sad  everynight is not a goodnight


----------



## Toppington

I'm welcoming the indifference at this point. Stay for the entire ****ing night, because I don't have the energy to feel this way for 4 more ****ing hours. Lol. I need meds of some kind. I absolutely cannot keep feeling this way. So ****ing ridiculous.


----------



## Bbpuff

Shaky.. :afr


----------



## Voyager

Nervous, first day of real work tomorrow in a long long time. Will become a mess later this evening, looking forward to it...


----------



## leave me alone

Headache.. feel super lazy and unmotivated.


----------



## CWe

Feel lazy and sad.


----------



## Bunyip

So lazy.


----------



## mezzoforte

I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was...


----------



## Just Tony

I FEEL LIKE A BOSS.

Facing a challenge today. Nothing I cant handle. I can do this. Going to go have some fun =] Hopefully this is the beginning of something b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l.


----------



## orchidsandviolins

Disappointed.


----------



## estse

Complacently ****ty.


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

this place is run by nazis. i hate authority.


----------



## Andre

Every day is a variation of all the days that came before. Constantly tense and anxious about something, yet hanging onto hope because I know it's required. Never very happy or very sad. Complacent, and stoic, hiding my desperation as much as possible. Keep walking around the block, a to d to c to b. I've not forgotten the thread I made about improving my life, back in October or something.

Although I am mentally healthier in some very meaningful ways.

As if anyone here besides myself actually cares.


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

like i want to kill someone.


----------



## Andre

I love you, IWantToDie


----------



## NightScholar

Not bad, Comme ci, comme ça


----------



## Caduceus

I feel like a burden has lifted off of my shoulders. I finally found out what's been troubling my girlfriend this past week and I'm glad it has nothing to do with me. I'm going to support her through her hardships.


----------



## HarryStanluv25

Optimistic. Hopeful.


----------



## Neptunus

Annoyed.


----------



## steelmyhead

I feel like my insides were flattened by a bus.


----------



## Toppington

Okay. Workout high providing some much-needed stress relief. I know it won't last all night though. :blank


----------



## intheshadows

Slow.


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

angry that the person i wanted to reblog a post from deleted that post. i wrote a really long response to it, too. thank god i have it saved.


----------



## RiversEdge

I don't feel good today. I may go to bed early.


----------



## falling down

Like a piece of crap, covered in poop, covered in more crap, smothered in fire.


----------



## angie36

pretty bad


----------



## Toppington

Confused and frustrated. How do people decide so definitely what they're going to do with their life? I don't really enjoy much of anything anymore. Everything I do is in the name of killing as much time as possible so the day will be over seemingly faster. Where the hell do I go from here? What does someone do when they have absolutely no direction in life and no passion for anything? I can't believe I thought all of this would just fall into place for me like it does for everyone else... I'm not used to making decisions like this. They've all been made for me in the past. I have one year to think this over... ****.


----------



## BKrakow

bad, irritable, tired...


----------



## Toppington

Betterish. I know complaining or even considering giving up at this point is just a mark of being lazy, but I don't really know what way to go from here. sigh I need to appreciate what I have and just work hard on the things that I _can_ change/decide on right now. Much easier said than done, but I don't really have a choice anymore. It's going to be a while before I'm even close to content with the way my life is going, but I have to start somewhere. I just decided to start a lot later than most.  Now we'll see how long this mindset actually lasts. :blank


----------



## MadeinLithuania

_So sad and I want to be more sad that I could cry all night _:doh


----------



## nonesovile

Toppington said:


> Betterish. I know complaining or even considering giving up at this point is just a mark of being lazy, but I don't really know what way to go from here. sigh I need to appreciate what I have and just work hard on the things that I _can_ change/decide on right now. Much easier said than done, but I don't really have a choice anymore. It's going to be a while before I'm even close to content with the way my life is going, but I have to start somewhere. I just decided to start a lot later than most.  Now we'll see how long this mindset actually lasts. :blank


You will get there, don't worry


----------



## nonesovile

Lazy. I need to shave.


----------



## sas111

Apathetic, numb, cold, lethargic, unamused, empty..the usual, only escalated today.


----------



## JenN2791

Anxious as hell. Sad..


----------



## artynerd

sad  rejected in all jobs


----------



## MsDaisy

artynerd said:


> sad  rejected in all jobs


:hug


----------



## intheshadows

Crappy.


----------



## MsDaisy

This song is how i feel




:sigh


----------



## flykiwi

ignored


----------



## artynerd

MsDaisy said:


> :hug


  thanks daisy x

I hope you feel better today *hugs* :squeeze


----------



## KiwiGirl

Emotionally drained.


----------



## Toppington

Pretty good now. Just embarrassed at how whiny I get on here when I'm feeling down. Ya' know... I forgot how relaxing cleaning was. It's been way too long and I'm pretty satisfied with myself for today. I have a lot of ancient stuff I need to trash tomorrow though. Such a good time killer when you're normally as disorganized as I can be.


----------



## wolfsblood

*I am lonely and depressed.
*


----------



## MadeinLithuania

_Sad, bored_.


----------



## mezzoforte

Stupid


----------



## NightScholar

:| Unsatisfied


----------



## ApathyDivine

Right now, hungry!


----------



## cybernaut

Feeling as if I need to be more productive...


----------



## sas111

Better now. I felt vague, empty & lost 15 min ago. Did something that never lets me down & now, I'm alright. At least I feel something.


----------



## Snow White Queen

Lonely, depressed, bored, worried, useless. I could go on but you get the point.


----------



## SweetNSour82

Better


----------



## enzo

Needed.


----------



## et1991

****ing pissed for some reason. Broke a wobbly chair into pieces with a baseball bat. Not the most healthy coping mechanism but oh well.


----------



## odd_one_out

I feel like the r word, like my brain's all scrambled.


----------



## 213

meh


----------



## CWe

Pissed off !!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Und3rground

Ambivalent


----------



## NotAnExit

Still tired...what the hell?!


----------



## intheshadows

Nostalgic.


----------



## Toppington

Could be worse. I guess I just want to go one day totally content with the way my life is. I always end up in a sulky mood by the end of the day. There's no guarantee that I'll turn it around, but I have to believe in that because it's the only possible thing that will motivate me anymore. I'm just so tired of caring about all of these things that I didn't used to. What do I even _really_ want and will I ever have it?


----------



## Furious Ming

Depressed, scared, disappointed.


----------



## Com1

terrible, hopeless, retarded....****ing European.


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

^youre mad youre european?

dont drink so much then.


----------



## Toppington

Bored. Wide awake. Regretting things I probably shouldn't. Remembering stupid things from the distant past. Feeling pretty ****ty, I guess.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Worried and frustrated.


----------



## CleverUsername

i want other people to touch me and i want to touch other people, yeaaa that sounds perverted lol


----------



## Radiata

Mixed feelings. 
...Also, itchy. There's a cat on my face. :/ !


----------



## CleverUsername

right now i feel pretty horrible , i was reading this article on wikipedia en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolescence and i became so depressed reading it, along with intense feelings of anger and jealousy, kinda feel like everyone my age is in college with lots of friends and having lots of sex and just having a really fulfilling life, while i have been living in isolation for 3 years with a very horrible future ahead of me, i can't take this anymore


----------



## mezzoforte

Annoyed.
Horny.
Hungry.


----------



## coeur_brise

mezzoforte said:


> Annoyed.
> Horny.
> Hungry.


lol change that to anxious, horny, desperate and that's me.


----------



## Luka92

Depressed. Tired. Slightly drunk.


----------



## mezzoforte

sanria22 said:


> lol change that to anxious, horny, desperate and that's me.


Buy a toy. :b


----------



## Jcgrey

Like a worthless pile of ****


----------



## Winds

Calm and Relaxed


----------



## Tangerine

ACE


----------



## fallen18

Sad and lonely


----------



## ijustwanttobemute

Currently I feel hopeful, it's nice to meet people who understand me. I never thought anyone knew what it was like to be completely incompetent when it came to being social.


----------



## coeur_brise

mezzoforte said:


> Buy a toy. :b


I want the real thing.. waaaa :cry


----------



## mezzoforte

sanria22 said:


> I want the real thing.. waaaa :cry


Me too.


----------



## Bryan108

Im worrying about my future..


----------



## Perkins

Bryan108 said:


> Im worrying about my future..


Same. I'm disappointed by my experience today. I'm trying to learn from it, at least.


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

A little annoyed but I know I'm right.


----------



## ApathyDivine

Alone and bored right now


----------



## Scorpmw90

Alone. Stressed out looking for a job.


----------



## RmZ




----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

a little hopeful


----------



## Toppington

Bored as ever.


----------



## Nekomata

I'm okay~ kinda scared and nervous about something that came up last night though... *sighs* but I know that I should trust him and I will, it's been over a year after all....


----------



## zemulis

i want to cry :cry why why why do i give a s*hit!


----------



## Who

I feel like I've wasted the day.


----------



## Octal

Tired and slightly frustrated.


----------



## tennislover84

Sick to my stomach.


----------



## leave me alone

There is something I need to do, but I feel so lazy.


----------



## IGotAddicted

Feeling eeeh meaning I'm just bored haha but I woke up like an hour ago so yea.


----------



## Loveless

My eye is burning from tears, my body is numb from my fears. And my soul is crushed by all the terribleness throughout the years.


----------



## Toppington




----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

sunburned sick and tired


----------



## cafune

Ridiculously excited for Euro 2012 but slightly worried that my brother will be his stupid, loud, obnoxious, annoying self and ruin it with his incessant chatter. Okay, so maybe it's more than slightly worried. It's unfortunate that he won't be at school at the time. Sigh.


----------



## LostinReverie

Tired, regretful, loopy, worried.


----------



## Nekomata

Content and hungry~


----------



## artynerd

Sad  

Im unfriendable, or likable, no one wants to be friends with me online or offline


----------



## Toppington

Dayyyyyyum, you fat! Still need to work out today. 

EDIT: Much better. :b


----------



## jayjaythejetplane

Horrendous. I was diagnosed with an aura migraine today which is onset by my anxiety. Finding it really hard to focus on anything at the moment.


----------



## ApathyDivine

Hungry.
For some reason I'm always hungry at this time of the night. I had dinner too but my stomach feels empty


----------



## coeur_brise

Effervescent. Actually kinda calm.


----------



## Neptunus

Bored.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Confused.


----------



## mezzoforte

Not quite good enough


----------



## pita

Suffering from a bad case of not giving a ****.


----------



## ShoelessJoe

WhoAmIToday said:


> I just feel like a cup of tea >.<


What do you mean? That you feel like you're constantly being tea-bagged by life and SA? I know the feeling.


----------



## lkkxm

pita said:


> Suffering from a bad case of not giving a ****.


I sooooo wish I didn't give a **** anymore.


----------



## Zerix

Pretty ****ing shatty....


----------



## Polar

Not too depressed today, but verrry jittery...


----------



## Tentative

I don't know, really.


----------



## Loveless

Sexy.


----------



## Nekomata

Hungover, tired, hungry, missing him~


----------



## iwishtheskywasgreen

Can someone help? Or tell me what's wrong with me?
I don't love my family or friends, I fake my personality depending on who I'm with.
My friends think I'm happy-go-lucky, immatue, funny, really clever, bright, smiling always
My family think I'm arragant, moody, sarcastic, can be kind and quiet
My teachers think I'm very chatty, polite, confidant, smart
Is this normal, I feel like I don't feel like everyone else- a man got run over near our school and it didn't bother me, everyone else was all- frightened, scared, excited,worried- but I was genrally not bothered. I don't care about a lot of things that bother people. Also, I can't stand hugging my mum, or being too near my family for too long. I'm I being wimpy, is this how everyoe is? Should I just get on with life?


----------



## mezzoforte

Empty


----------



## intheshadows

ijustwanttobemute said:


> Currently I feel hopeful, it's nice to meet people who understand me. I never thought anyone knew what it was like to be completely incompetent when it came to being social.


x2


----------



## NewYorkRangers1926

Nervous, empty, regretful and upset


----------



## au Lait

My mouth hurts so, so bad. The meds take the edge off for awhile but then I start feeling it again.  I just want the pain to stop.


----------



## Kingpin

Unprepared.


----------



## copper

My allergies are killing me. They raised my allergy shot dosage and now I am real bad. I can't stop clearing my throat, coughing, etc due to this dang post nasel. I try everything. I take a steaming shower, drink lemon juice, consume ginger, take Mucinex, take more Zrytec. Nothing seems to work. I have also develop rales in my large respiratory area. I hope I am not coming down with another sinus infection. I am tired of being off to go 100 miles to see the ENT. Also, don't want to be on antibiotic again. I have been on it 4 times over the last year.


----------



## Toppington

Fever and headache still going strong. Couldn't be better. At least my stomach's not bugging me today. Yet.


----------



## SambaBus

Tired, overwhelmed and I have a bit of a headache.


----------



## shelbster18

Sad and scared.


----------



## artynerd

Better now  my bf and I are fine once again


----------



## Mirror

Good so far, got off from work and just chillin now. Hoping to get a navel piercing tomorrow.


----------



## MLimons

Miserably depressed and empty inside. I expected something that could never happen. It's my own fault for getting my hopes up.


----------



## MaxPower

For the first time in weeks, I feel like writing again. :boogie


----------



## Toppington

Still on fire. Emotionally drained. Could be better, but I don't feel too bad for some reason. Apathy setting in again is my best guess.


----------



## cafune

Sad, pensive, wistful. My dream last night was simple yet very telling. I was content with reality where I could tell myself that I didn't care. I'm not so sure I can do that anymore. My stupid dream is not something I can easily ignore, unfortunately. It was so... Heartwarming. Ugh. Anyways, I've seen how much the yearning hurts and that's not something I want to go through, ever. Indifference leads to peace. Too bad I'm not indifferent anymore.


----------



## Monotony

Tired, lonely, bored, 9,000,000 °C


----------



## Jcgrey

Sweaty


----------



## upndownboi

empty as usual and like i want to die quickly and painlessly, im not going to do it but heroin overdose sounds nice


----------



## Openyoureyes

I'm feeling kinda content actually. Today was my last day of high school. But I'm kind of scared...


----------



## ApathyDivine

Very, very sleepy


----------



## mezzoforte

Kind of pathetic, but I'll be okay. Need to distract myself with other things/people.


----------



## shymandan

Feeling disappointed and pathetic with how my life has turned out so far


----------



## Toppington

Skyloft said:


> Like ****. I want to kick myself for getting like this. I just need to distract myself by playing games and/or sleeping forever. I don't want to wake up tomorrow.


Get out of my head.


----------



## Matomi

Just lifeless.
I haven't been able to sleep for a while and it's taking its toll...


----------



## Xmsbby

Goooood ^^. Big weekend ahead!... and cheer up ppl :}


----------



## Nekomata

Not wanting to go out >< especially since there's a chance there wont be the internet and I'm supposed to drag my laptop with me anyway <.<;


----------



## Tentative

Hungry and somewhat bored.


----------



## Frunktubulus

Miserable and angry that I got my hopes up, and angry at myself for being angry that I got my hopes up. **** it all, I need a holiday from being me.


----------



## Radiata

Bothered and kind of glum. But feeling very rational at the moment.


----------



## Eski

Energetic and bored.


----------



## odd_one_out

Like uke not knowing if my friend still has a long distance lover or if it's some on and off thing (the uncertainty inherent in that would be worse).

Why the heck go around expressing deep love to me while I'm not only involved with another but she has some lover expressing all that love? Does loving 2 people explain it or just one (me) more than the other?

It makes me sick - not due to the dishonesty as much but, being my carer, my fundamental physical and mental wellbeing's affected by any major life choices she makes.


----------



## mezzoforte

Hungry!


----------



## Dan iel

Thinking it's best not to get too attached to people. I need reassurance, and I don't want it to be one sided. Don't think I'll ever be with someone again. To small of a chance to find someone really loving and open.

So feeing a bit ponderous.


----------



## Toppington

Stuffy.


----------



## huh

like a horse's patoot.


----------



## coeur_brise

Strange, a bit torn, icky, unattractive, angsty yet antsy in anticipation of material objects.


----------



## Perkins

Pessimistic, sad.


----------



## Neutrino

.


----------



## mezzoforte

Melancholic
Depressed 
Miserable
Unhappy
Down
Sad

I wonder how long I'll feel this way. Everything is just meh and lulz. And I want to feel pain. I don't know what to do.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Not well, but I could be worse.


----------



## Melinda

Sleepy, foggy-headed. Mildly productive despite that.


----------



## meeps

inarticulate and annoyed/sad because of it.


----------



## fear grips me

Depressed. Mind is racing. Nervous about the future. Hating myself. Basically, just the usual.


----------



## Neptunus

Disappointed and somewhat annoyed.


----------



## AmericanZero

Pretty unserious.


----------



## Andre

Abfab


----------



## fear grips me

Pretty okay, especially compared to how I usually feel. I'm having one of my rare good days.


----------



## mezzoforte

Meh. Life sucks.


----------



## Nekomata

Content enough, I suppose xD


----------



## intheshadows




----------



## AmericanZero

Like Christmas morning.


----------



## Farideh

I am feeling depressed because I believe that I am ugly and for this reason, nobody likes me.


----------



## Toppington

Okay. At least I can rely on that high to help me out for about an hour. Still need to start taking strength training somewhat seriously though. I can lose the last 20-25ish pounds doing this, but I'll still look terrible without at least a little definition. :bah I hate my body so much.


----------



## foe

Like an abandoned boner.


----------



## Bryan108

Like a block of wood with no emotions


----------



## AmericanZero

I feel like kissing my body. I wanna love every last flabby inch of it. Yeeeeeeah baby


----------



## mezzoforte

Broken


----------



## ApathyDivine

Pretty awesome


----------



## AmericanZero

'tarded.


----------



## Whatev

Bleh.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Very lethargic.


----------



## AmericanZero

I'm not tired but I think I'll just go to sleep. Ugh.


----------



## artynerd

cant wait to go to the theme park  i feel like a kid but i like fast rides


----------



## River In The Mountain

Disappointed. 
Also, annoyed with myself because I can't seem to get anything right with people, no matter how hard I try. I keep thinking I'm doing well then I find out that I'm not.


----------



## Toppington

Incredibly bored.


----------



## Kingpin

Infuriated.


----------



## Transcending

****ty


----------



## Toppington

If I had any idea how to feel anymore, I doubt I'd be on here as much as I am. I may as well post in this thread every hour because my mood is bound to be the complete opposite of what it was 5 seconds before. :/ 

Wait, what were we talking about? Lonely, I guess.


----------



## lkkxm

intheshadows said:


>





River In The Mountain said:


> Disappointed.
> Also, annoyed with myself because I can't seem to get anything right with people, no matter how hard I try. I keep thinking I'm doing well then I find out that I'm not.





Toppington said:


> Incredibly bored.





Transcending said:


> ****ty


All of this. Plus incredibly annoying and clingy. I hate getting attached. But I also love it. So I guess conflicted as well. God I'm confused.


----------



## ApathyDivine

Paranoid


----------



## mezzoforte

Disgusting


----------



## heyJude

Gassy


----------



## Shadow2009

Slightly hungover :\


----------



## Parcius

I am feeling dissappointed in myself


----------



## Toppington

Thoroughly confused.


----------



## PeachyAlice

nauseous. Have ha this stomach problem for over 2 years now, that makes me awfully nauseous every time I eat. I eat less than one full portion of food a day now, and my body gets freezing cold when I've eaten because it can't digest food and keep me warm at the same time due to lack of energy.

Did I mention that nausea and the thought of vomiting gives me panic attacks?


----------



## applesauce5482

Angry and confused. Like always. I'm never happy.


----------



## 50piecesteve

Im good, thanks for asking Doctor Phil


----------



## JenN2791

sad... :\ and hungry


----------



## CoastalSprite

Lonely.


----------



## Kingpin

Wary.


----------



## chelseadunbar

Pretty disgusting...internally and externally.


----------



## Kaede

Like a disappointment.


----------



## Monotony

lethargic


----------



## Tangerine

Happy, yet annoyed.


----------



## Toppington

And now I'm bored... :blank


----------



## Monotony

Lonely and bitter.


----------



## Neutrino

.


----------



## falling down

I don't even know where to begin.


----------



## Mirror

DSLFJGNKSJENFK;AGNFJKV LFJL;SDFGA FGJ FJDGALDKFJ OIJFLAKJDF;IADJJFADJSF;JIAFJOIDFIAFASDF;N;AF;ANDKFNAIEFO;AIJEOIFA;LDSNVOIARIUFHkuenf;iNFO;IAJSDO;IGJAO;IFINDVNAIDOSNVIOA;I;;VNAIO;NGIOAJOIEJFOIwje8g9384ujtow;ho;efhqp983h4go;WJR0RJ'AE9GI304G'JOJFIASHAORHGIANRVUAHUHRHGO;AIWEJGOIHWOEIGHAOSIGHA FIAEOIJF ;AIEWHF;IOwhe;iofhwr; girgio rwgurhg;urwh;AIJRE;O JROTI OERHTO;AEIRHJG;OSJEROGIJ5OJGDFLSIGJ;SLFGS

....

AJLSDNFA;HRGIOAERNGANF;OVIAODFIJVOAFJ JORAIJCMOIRAJOPFAIJLDFAOIDVAMV;AIOEIFJAORIJGA84;TOWH;I;TAH8TH8HOERHGHUERHGOHRFOIJW;OFHORJIUAHIURHCHTCQ3HTOCQH3IUTHPEIRHGCPQHERNHQRPIHRPICHPTH9Q348H 8RTPWPQ8THMQP8RTUQPURTPQHCTOIQJROPTQCMROTIJEROIGHEKHGNO;IAGJI 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH


----------



## Nekomata

Intrigued <.< *needs to revamp her style on xat*


----------



## IcoRules

Really tired and my neck hurts, otherwise good.


----------



## Shadow2009

Depressed, bored, lonely, anxious :/

and i also got my finger stuck in a door earlier and my entire nail ripped off and there was blood everywhere so i'm having a great day lol


----------



## Monotony

I hate the summer so much.


----------



## shelbster18

Sad and lonely and in need of company.


----------



## Saber

Lol, most of us feel lonely and i'm no exception. Good thing I started to work again for the summer or I would of hung myself from the lack of social interaction (not literally of course).


----------



## Puppet Master

Hollow, depressed, enraged, all around miserable.


----------



## Who

I want chicken katsu don with miso soup and a can of coke.


----------



## Monotony

Depressed, Bored, Lonely, Annoyed.


----------



## shelbster18

Scared, lonely and worried.


----------



## MadeinLithuania

_Good._


----------



## pharaohgirgzz

Absolutely amazing! No i’m just kidding. I feel lost because of work. I don’t know how to talk to my co-workers who all seem to get a long so well and stuff but then I just can’t even talk to them. Such a shame.


----------



## SambaBus

Half-dead


----------



## Mirror

Tired. 

And pissed at my cat because he barfed in my room twice this morning at like 5.


----------



## Nekomata

Amused~


----------



## Eraserhead

Nervous but somewhat contented.


----------



## Luka92

Not bad...could be better.


----------



## Tentative

Unmotivated.


----------



## fallen18

Like absolute crap.


----------



## Durzo

I guess I can't think of a word, so I will rate it a 4/10. Not so bad but could be better.


----------



## laura024

Borderline dead inside


----------



## estse

Like black vomit.


----------



## River In The Mountain

Pensive.
Frustrated that I cant spontaneously call somebody up and go and have an adventure.


----------



## NoIce

River In The Mountain said:


> Pensive.
> Frustrated that I cant spontaneously call somebody up and go and have an adventure.


Just do it, Raver.


----------



## Octal

I feel lost and alone, something I have to get used to again.


----------



## Monotony

Depressed, lonely ,oddly befuddled


----------



## Owl-99

Monotony said:


> Depressed, lonely ,oddly befuddled


But still stubbornly annoying. :yes


----------



## Charmeleon

laura024 said:


> Borderline dead inside


Same here...


----------



## Nekomata

Worried.


----------



## intheshadows

Frustrated


----------



## wordscancutyoulikeglass

I'm feeling okay. Not sad, not happy.


----------



## shelbster18

Obsessed. :um


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

like i need a clothes pin to put on my penis because i gotta go peee


----------



## SuperSky

Hyped up!


----------



## Xtraneous

Unwanted


----------



## odd_one_out

I feel like ****, having effects from a prescription still and it's not wearing off yet. I'm fine one second and sick and crazy the next. My heart was racing not long ago and nearly sent me over the edge.


----------



## Durzo

Pretty energetic and upbeat! 

Some of the new wave pop punk bands finally going back to the style in the 90s instead of the happy breakdown **** that took over the scene for several years. good stuff ^_^!


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

like ****


----------



## IGotAddicted

Tired, bored and wanna do something crazy lool


----------



## Double Indemnity

Gullible and naive.


----------



## there.is.no.they

*wtf*

aghast. i wanted to change my avatar here so i typed the first few letters of the SAS forum on my browser to randomly open a page, so I can check which avatar would fit okay. i was taken to the funny video thread where I've replied to a couple months back. to my horror, the video link showing up in my post was that of a suicide documentary I watched instead of the funny video i initially posted. apparently i've put the playlist link. so stupid of me! wishing so hard no one's clicked on my link. hurriedly edited my post. now i don't know how to possibly rectify if someone's mistakenly clicked the link (thinking it was a funny video) without being warned of its graphic content.


----------



## shelbster18

Hurt.


----------



## Monotony

I feel like I'm stranded on a deserted island in the middle of an ocean on an entirely different planet with no hope of getting off of it.


----------



## applesauce5482

I'm feeling anger, hurt, and hate


----------



## ApathyDivine

Right now, I'm hungry.
And missing someone


----------



## there.is.no.they

disappointed. plan of being consistent in sleeping early foiled. have to wait up for my cousin who's sleeping over tonight. unknown what time the event she attended will end


----------



## Monotony

Incredibly bored and lonely I was going to sleep in all day but I have to go to the damn dentist. :mum


----------



## Lasair

Wonderful

- I have two jobs
- passed my second year exams
- awesome boyfriend


----------



## Durzo

Great!  9/10!


----------



## Eski

Frustrated. . . sexually. >,>


----------



## vianna

worried. i cant stop thinking about it.


----------



## artynerd

My bf and me are fine again  

And I find attention seekers annoying.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Jealous.


----------



## JustKittenRightMeow

I feel like crap. Not depressed crap like usual, but physically. It's "that time" so I'm stuck with stupid cramps and I also believe I'm lactose intolerant, so cramps are multiplied plus the fact that I had some dairy products not long ago. May has well live in the bathroom for the next couple of hours. 

I am also very tired.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Sad. Heartbroken. 

Also stressed as hell.


----------



## ApathyDivine

Bored right now


----------



## Buerhle

1. Bored.
2. Frustrated.
Jealous, irritated.

Curious about a couple people.

Worried. 

A little mad.


----------



## Zendo

Can't stop feeling lethargic for some reason, it's really frustrating. It's actually been a decent day but just annoyed that I haven't squeezed more into and out of it.

I think I might be low on some vitamin maybe; only thing I can think of, which is strange because I eat pretty healthily. Hmmm.


----------



## Luka92

40% bored 60% good


----------



## Mithun

Feeling good after doing tough work.


----------



## Aries33

Sad Lonely im always either sad lonely or feeling sorry for myself dwelling in my past miseries, i want a hug and kiss from a beautiful girl, i need a girl in my life it would be so much better but i have s.a makes things so difficult


----------



## Tentative

Gah.


----------



## januarygirl

Tired and slightly irritated.


----------



## Queen of Spades

Anxious, bored and hungry.


----------



## Micromuffins

Bored, even though i have boring things to do, essays, washing the dishes...... -.-'


----------



## coconutt

I am exhausted. Today has been a nightmare. Im literally just home from work and gonna go straight to bed. Im too tired to feel anything else.


----------



## Xtraneous

Devastated.


----------



## PickleNose

Oh can't you seeeeeeeeee
we belong to them
Now we pay a fine
for every breath we take

Every move we make
Every single day
Every shower we take
Every poop we make
They'll be watchin' us

Since I was born
They got crazier every day
When I go to sleep
They only feel dismay

They break down my door and call out

You didn't pay your air tax....you'd better....better FREEEEEEEEEZE!


----------



## vianna

bleh


----------



## punksparkyrock

Nervous. I have to start summer school tomorrow


----------



## intheshadows

Living in the past...


----------



## ApathyDivine

In pain. Feels like my left side has a cramp


----------



## artynerd

Im happy if hes happy 
Im sad if hes sad


----------



## SkipToTheEnd

Disillusioned. Serves me right for snooping, though.


----------



## Unexist

inept


----------



## BobbyByThePound

im feelin good. im very happy with my new avatar


----------



## NomadChild

emotionally restrained


----------



## rgrwng

burnt out and ready to collapse.


----------



## pythonesque

Like a piece of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of someone's shoe.


----------



## Fair Lady

HUNGRY. Want. Food.


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

pythonesque said:


> Like a piece of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of someone's shoe.


...


----------



## AnnaM

nervous, excited and hopeful =]


----------



## ApathyDivine

Nervous, I'm going to a graduation party tonight for a cousin


----------



## lonelyinside

Lonely, sad, hopeless, insecure, disgusting and generally low


----------



## lettersnumbers

Heading for depression, lonely and feeling like my life is going no where.


----------



## Kingpin

Like crying.


----------



## DubnRun

hungry and suicidal


----------



## Nekomata

Tired and bored.


----------



## rgrwng

today, there has been a lingering upper chest pain i cannot describe it. its like either s stiffening of muscle in the area, but its all around my upper torso. there's also a sharp painm in my sternum area, possibly on the underside of it. hurts like hell and i do not know what it is. i think it might be my slouching in my computer chair related, but i am not sure.


----------



## Death from Behind

Like the dumbest person on the planet.


----------



## shelbster18

I feel horrible and amused at the same time. Some guy online yesterday told me that I'm unattractive and that I look like Jesus. :sus I mean, no one knows what Jesus looks like but I guess he meant that I look like how they depict him as. So, I guess I look like a guy. lol I didn't think I was that unattractive. That's messed up. I'm starting to become self-conscious about my looks again. :rain


----------



## nycdude

Bored.


----------



## Kingpin

Annoyed to no end.


----------



## VeganGirl93

Insecure and lost. But not sad. Or happy. Hmm...


----------



## ock word

Hopeless and tired.


----------



## G i r l

Like an absolute idiot who should keep her thoughts to herself.


----------



## ApathyDivine

Bored, lonely


----------



## Queen of Spades

Confused, stressed, anxious, worthless and hopeless :|


----------



## meeps

artynerd said:


> Im completely heart broken </3 and shattered.
> 
> My boyfriend never trys to understand me and always get mad at me, he treats me differently than someone he used to love. I just wish he would love me  I only want to be loved by him  and he never be nice to me.


You shouldn't be with someone who is mean to you constantly.


----------



## Dissonance

Sicker then a dog with rabies.


----------



## shelbster18

I'm feeling pretty pissed off from last night. This guy online who talks to me every now and then made me feel like I'm slow. :sus I was just talking to him like I normally do and he says something to me and tries to make me feel stupid. I'm tired of this ****.


----------



## Nekomata

Bored and wary. *le sigh*


----------



## blue the puppy

depressed. looking forward to my visit with a therapist in 2 days. i need to snap out of this funk.


----------



## Still Waters

Sick of dealing with people that act like toddlers.
Anxious to get some things done but frustrated because of problems that keep popping up making it impossible to move forward.
Not too depressed today-(miracles of miracles)!!!!


----------



## nycdude

Bored, back to work tmrw.


----------



## leave me alone

Uh, I should be in bed by now, but I am not really sleepy... It is 4:34AM. What is wrong with me. Also, my knees hurt.


----------



## Sierpinski

Sad and scared. Afraid I may never again have a job.


----------



## ApathyDivine

Right now physically ill, ugh
Head hurts and I have nausea


----------



## Queen of Spades

Relieved for now :roll


----------



## ty44

Just had one of my old recurring nightmares. Eurgh.


----------



## Nekomata

Bored, hungry and impatient :3


----------



## hello world

Tired...


----------



## leave me alone

Headache, bored.. :/


----------



## Nekomata

Hungry, and not looking forward to the chores I need to do today <.<;


----------



## shelbster18

I'm feeling guilty because of my anger issues that I have. I go crazy mad over small little things and then I regret it afterwards. This guilt just builds up inside of me and I say I'm never going to act like that again but I do. I don't know how to control it. I have a lot of issues I need to fix.


----------



## Lasair

A bit down


----------



## Damselindistress01

Lonely
isolated
Exhausted
unimportant
Sad
over-caffinated


----------



## lettersnumbers

Lonely.


----------



## Neptunus

Weathered.


----------



## Lasair

lazy and useless


----------



## Queen of Spades

Tired, nervous, anxious and miserable.


----------



## hello world

Exhausted


----------



## applesauce5482

Paranoid. I feel paranoid every night before I got to sleep -_-

also kinda depressed


----------



## laura024

Energized


----------



## intheshadows

lonely


----------



## Santiago Veracruz

destitute


----------



## Gidi

I feel bad....Had a hard day


----------



## Furious Ming

Depressed, lonely, and regretful.


----------



## NeveS

So lonely... I've barely left my room in the last four weeks. No one calls or text's anymore. Starting to feel like I don't exist.. invisible.. Forgotten.


----------



## shelbster18

A little frustrated with school stuff. >.< On top of that, I have to learn how to drive on the highway. I can't wait to get it over with.


----------



## jsgt

Bored to death and kind of sad. I hate when I start thinking of the past. Not because of bad experiences, but because I can never go back. I wouldn't mind re living some moments again.


----------



## Oasis-of-Reason

like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and now its just a blac k hole in there swirling around and sucking the life out of me sucking me into it ripping me to shreds as my entire being collapses into the black whole and im gone for good but at least ta tat point the pain will hopefully cease...


----------



## Bluemonster

Disappointed with myself  Yesterday, it was my birthday and I went out with a few friends. The pub we went to had a really nice atmosphere and the drinks were really cheap xD I got wasted and nearly threw up in the taxi  When I got home, I did throw up 2 or 3 times and my Dad said I was having convulsions. I woke up today, and apart from feeling sick every time I think about what I drank last night, I feel fine and I remember everything that happened. I am disappointed with myself though because I never wanted to get that drunk because it was a horrible feeling


----------



## low

Lonely.


----------



## yna

I want to disappear for a little while.


----------



## intheshadows

antsy


----------



## catcharay

Feeling more balanced in the head and optimistic. Happy!


----------



## JamesRaniel

I dont know.. Should I be happy? Should I be sad?

I think Im feeling blank..


----------



## She

disappointed with myself for falling into depression again. 
like i cannot cope, but at the same time i know i will and somehow that makes it worse.


----------



## Kakumbus

Annoyed that i everyone i knew has abandoned me and didn't tell me why, so im drinking coffee as if it was a bottle of whisky,


----------



## ImWeird

Exhausted.


----------



## shelbster18

I don't have an appetite for food lately.  Having to force myself to eat again. I hate not having an appetite. I also feel tired.


----------



## BobtheBest

Kind of annoyed...some people blow the simpliest **** out of proportion


----------



## leave me alone

Slightly nervous.


----------



## shelbster18

I am so pissed off at my mom. I just cussed at her because I was telling her what kind of batteries I needed for my camera. I even showed her the type that I needed and she acted like she didn't understand. What the ****? It's not that hard to figure out a simple mother ****ing thing. It doesn't help that I'm on my ****ing period, either. :mum This woman acts like she doesn't know **** when I need something important to get done. Grrrrrrrrrr.


----------



## Retiarymetal

Disapointed with myself for letting sad getting the best of me lately and i'm feeling this sentence needs some commas in it but i dont know where they go.


----------



## ImWeird

Cold.


----------



## huh

****ing grand.


----------



## ShadyGFX

Hot, tierd and depressed


----------



## RelinquishedHell

I'm feeling like I should be sad, but i'm not. I guess I just feel Bleh.........


----------



## dreamfairy69

*just lost*



Weird Fishes said:


> I've been having ups and downs ... directly to do with someone. I think I'm a bit obsessed and it's a horrible feeling ... when I'm talking to them I feel ok but then when I'm not it makes me feel sh*t. I just hope that things will turn out ok.


 im 43 in a 20 year realationship and the young guys are crazy over me texting me to hook up and im feeling really good about it i have had sex with some but im really getting obsessed over it its not about the sex its about the attention im getting so im thinking make sure you absessive dont drive them away i have did that in the past :no


----------



## visualkeirockstar

I'm  and


----------



## InfiniteBlaze

Tired


----------



## catcharay

Very cold and so tired and apathetic


----------



## Mirror

Kind of high... will be going t sleep soon......................


----------



## ShadyGFX

Confident


----------



## yna

I feel really tired today for some reason. Want to take a nap. *yawn*


----------



## cafune

Like someone stomped on my small intestines repeatedly over the past half an hour while wearing cleats.


----------



## Lil Sebastian

Very hungry, but lack the energy to actually get up to get food. If anyone wants to be my butler/maid just let me know. The wages are bad but the hours are plentiful


----------



## Cashew

Creepy


----------



## artynerd

Unwanted 

I dreamed that my dad was out in the supermarket with me, he was clumsy and old and fragile but he still wanted to hang out with me and he even made me a lunch to eat  and when i think about it, hes the only person in this whole world who i actually feels cares about me. I hope he can live longer, cos I feel like no one in this world loves me, not even my mother or sister, only my dad.


----------



## blue the puppy

really excited and optimistic! this is rare!


----------



## fredbloggs02

From the heaviest depression I've experienced to the highest self-assurance.


----------



## Bbpuff

Uncomfortable.. cousins are in my house, and I don't want to meet them.


----------



## ravens

Upset with myself like always.


----------



## jsgt

Cocked, locked, and ready to rock! I can only R&R 1 day, then boredom sets in and I'm ready to GTFO of here.


----------



## coeur_brise

strange, confused, very caffeinated, dejected.


----------



## Milco

Always said best with a song


----------



## ShadyGFX

Borrrreeeeddd :yawn


----------



## Snarks

Awful


----------



## mooncake

awful, chocolate cake is not even helping.


----------



## Kascheritt

Lost in a puzzle room.


----------



## Tentative

Pretty good, dude. Little hungry, is all.


----------



## ApathyDivine

I'm hungry, but I don't know what to eat :|


----------



## visualkeirockstar

Tired.


----------



## shelbster18

My head hurts.


----------



## DesertStar91

Anxious, a bit worried, sad, and I miss some family and friends, but I'll be ok. I feel a bit like crying, but I'll overcome it.


----------



## ApathyDivine

Bored as helll


----------



## Lil Sebastian

Helpless


----------



## nathanael

feeling pretty good it has been a pretty good day


----------



## Mithun

Slightly motivated to work


----------



## Lilac Swirl

Really anxious because I had to make a phone call to someone I don't know too well.


----------



## visualkeirockstar

Ok.


----------



## Nefury

empty


----------



## shelbster18

Nervous for school tomorrow. I only had one class today. I hope there aren't too many people in my class. :um


----------



## ApathyDivine

Pretty depressed


----------



## catcharay

A bit better from last week but still not motivated to study


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

Pretty pissed off. I just want someone to **** up.


----------



## Trigo

Sad and alone


----------



## Fairydust

Anxious.


----------



## Mithun

great


----------



## gusstaf

Like crap. I'm on vacation and should be having fun but I just want to go home.


----------



## shelbster18

A little motivated.


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

My neck hurts like a mother****er.


----------



## Barette

Sad, yet numb.


----------



## godhelpme2

good cause i'm making cookies


----------



## vianna

bleh


----------



## feelingfire

Lately I've been feeling, indescribable.

I literally hate myself. I cannot understand how I could get over this feeling. I hate the way I look. And I'm always afraid of everything and I have too many phobias.

Just today I went to cut my hair and I couldn't look in the mirror. I know I would be facing a mirror,* with my hair wet*, but I do it anyway to try and get over it but it seems like it just makes things worse.

I'm supposed to be starting college this friday; moving to Chicago alone but now I genuinely don't want to and I want to back-out because I don't want to be alone and face the reality of life, alone, and feel ugly all the time.

I have so much to take care of, personally, within my own struggles before I'm ready to venture out in the world and be comfortable with myself but I have zero confidence, zero self-esteem, zero everything and I don't know where else to turn to or begin. I'm already 23 and these feelings won't leave me alone.


----------



## Solomon's Tomb

I'm sitting on a volcano of rage and I have nowhere to release it.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Depressed, empty, and a little bitter.


----------



## SkipToTheEnd

Befuddled.


----------



## Frunktubulus

SkipToTheEnd said:


> Befuddled.


Let this intellectual dog talk you through your conundrum.


----------



## Duke of Prunes

Like crap. My blood pressure is the lowest I've ever seen it (90/54), I've got a pounding headache, I've got muscle cramps all over, and I can't be bothered to do anything.


----------



## Kakumbus

Still trying to wonder if its a slap or if it's just me that was expecting a hug.


----------



## intheshadows

behind on sleep


----------



## ravens

very sad


----------



## Freiheit

I'm ok. I just hate that it's Friday.


----------



## Kascheritt

So so tired. Haven't felt this tired for a very long time.


----------



## Noll

I feel alright, but leaning slightly to the sad side.


----------



## Lil Sebastian

Like a content zombie


----------



## Kakumbus

Bored, sad , angry, full of momentum, it's too bad im too tired to workout.


----------



## Hello22

Chilled


----------



## shelbster18

Like a stupid *****.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Sad and overly sensitive.....and i don't know why  I feel like I just wanna hold someone right now.


----------



## IcoRules

I'm feeling really out of it right now. I'm really tired and can't sleep.


----------



## coeur_brise

like something (or someone) is getting to my head and lingering like a haunting refrain.


----------



## Queen of Spades

OMG...I feel great!!! Okay, no. Not really. :|


----------



## Trigo

Free


----------



## shelbster18

I feel like utter crap.


----------



## matmad94

frustrated


----------



## IcoRules

.


----------



## punksparkyrock

sad and alone


----------



## Invisiblehandicap

Empty, alone. I cant stop crying.


----------



## jsgt

Invisiblehandicap said:


> Empty, alone. I cant stop crying.


Don't you and Evo live nearby? Why don't you two have a talk? Here's a few dancing bananas to cheer you up(hopefully). :banana:banana:banana


----------



## Neutrino

.


----------



## iheartkpop

Sad, crappy, miserable, awful, stressed, depressed...


----------



## owls

lonely & hyper. When I'm lonely I get hyper.


----------



## XxArmyofOnexX

Not good either.


----------



## GunnyHighway

Neutrino said:


> Not good. I'm lonely.


Yup :rain


----------



## visualkeirockstar

Depress


----------



## Oasis-of-Reason

Sad, depressed, distraught, like garbage


----------



## Queen of Spades

Miserable, lonely, paranoid, depressed, defeated, pessimistic, sick. 
Even the walls don't want to listen to me. The jerks...


----------



## yogurtxx

I have that feeling in my stomach again. It's making me uneasy and everything I say sounds fake and forced and overly cheery. I can't even sort out my thoughts, I just feel sad


----------



## Zerix

Gosh this whole page is full of sadness 

I'm actually feeling.... not so bad heh... *spreads good vibessss*

Crack a smile, even if it's fake. One smile has a good chance to turn into two.


----------



## ApathyDivine

I feel so damned bored, I have nothing better to do than listen to music and come on here


----------



## Queen of Spades

Absolutely miserable. But I'm getting used to it


----------



## Jr189

tired


----------



## Fairydust

emotional


----------



## ravens

Lonely like always.:rain


----------



## Still Waters

Imagine being at the bottom of a dumpster. Now imagine being buried 10 feet below the dumpster-that's about the feeling right now!


----------



## leave me alone

My stomach feels kinda meh.


----------



## shelbster18

I feel a little happier since I'm going to be put on meds for my SAD.


----------



## Matomi

Total burnout.


----------



## Trigo

unwanted


----------



## there.is.no.they

*hides from utter shame*


----------



## there.is.no.they

so disgusted at myself i feel sick to my stomach


----------



## there.is.no.they

seriously, i think i'm gonna puke


----------



## Kakumbus

Like running!


----------



## ApathyDivine

Ugly


----------



## ourwater

plain, boring


----------



## shelbster18

Nervous for an oral presentation in one of my classes coming up and lonely. Haha, what a combination.


----------



## Monotony

Lonely and restless to much pent up energy and nothing to spend it on.


----------



## vanishingpt

Feel a bit overwhelmed with school starting. So many things to do, so many people, so little time (or so I perceive). Hopefully I can mange this all and it'll turn out all right


----------



## blue the puppy

super duper excited!


----------



## ty44

I feel like I need someone to talk to. But I'm also pumped for better days that will come.


----------



## shelbster18

I feel just fantastic.

Not.


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

Really depressed.


----------



## Queen of Spades

I feel ill and exhausted.


----------



## yna

Satisfied. Lots of things went my way today for a change.


----------



## roseblood

Like flowers are wilting inside my head and you could see them.


----------



## greycardigan

Like a lazy, desperate, pathetic piece of ****


----------



## ravens

I'm drunk and I still feel like ****.


----------



## vanishingpt

Pretty happy right now... just finished a project, I'm rather pleased with the outcome


----------



## CoastalSprite

Contemplative.


----------



## ImOnlyDreaming

Not bad, honestly! I have some work to do today though, so no slacking.


----------



## vanishingpt

Feeling pretty good right now, I've been pretty happy these past couple of weeks. Also just finished some jogging and yoga so my mind's in a good state.


----------



## noyadefleur

Poetic, apparently.


----------



## The Quiet Girl

Pretty satisfied.


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

i wish i could get a vocal cord transplant because i hate my voice, i sound like im 12 :/


----------



## catcharay

I'm feeling very demotivated right now


----------



## SuperSky

Mopey and angry and tired and hungry.


----------



## Souldoubt

Exhausted.. worried


----------



## copper

I feel like death. I have a cold or sinus thing going on. Also, I had to take melatonin last night to get to sleep and now I have a terrible hangover. Dang cat for waking me up. I don't have enough sick time left to call in. So I got to drag my sick butt into work. I hope everyone around me gets sick including my supervisor.


----------



## Raphael200

Fine thanx,and how are you?

Hhehehehehe,I'm feeling joke-full.


----------



## fallen18

Feeling a little sad I need to get out of this house more often. Cause I'm starting to feel isolated from society I barely have gone anywhere except school and home these past two weeks. Lonely.


----------



## ivorygirl88

I feel like I never complete anything. I am extremely antsy. I just feel like I cannot do anything. I have a ton of homework and I cannot seem to get started. I feel like I function just enough for my sons.


----------



## Frenger868

Complacently Stressed


----------



## catcharay

Feeling lonely... Miss my love..


----------



## Considerate

Bored. Wondering how I will act when I see my crush. Damnit, anxiety kicking in.


----------



## Clint1988

Insecure and fearful of work tomorrow.


----------



## Marakunda

Like I hate everyone. I've been having some pretty scary thoughts lately.

My dad who I never see came over today to visit and I spent the WHOLE day in my room, he came specifically to visit with his kids, and I cowered in my room all day. I feel so awful for it. But at the same time, I'm just so angry at everyone, both of my parents included. People in general just annoy me... My mom should have known visiting with people and socializing goes against my nature, it's just NOT something I do, and I don't even care if it's my dad. I'm afraid I'm becoming less and less of a moral, good person, and it's because of people in general, the negativity of a lot of people to be exact. One of these days I'm gonna stop caring about everything and my minds gonna snap, watch it happen. Ugh, I hate people. I'm happy when I'm alone. I'm not a social creature, unlike most humans. Why can't people just accept this, and leave me alone...

**** me, I'm feeling especially down tonight.... Like even if I had someone to talk to, or I distracted myself and felt good for a while, nothing would matter anyways. **** me and my pathetic life right now man, **** it hard.


----------



## BillDauterive

God, I need someone to pep my mood up and fast. ;(


----------



## The Enemy Within

To many questions, but no answers...


----------



## NeverAFrown_00

Really really guilty.


----------



## ApathyDivine

I'm alright today. Thanksgiving has raised my spirits for now


----------



## steelmyhead

I'm feeling good.


----------



## ACCV93

I am feeling slightly anxious, and I have that feeling idn if anyone else experiences this, but it is like a darkness in the back of your brain, very mysterious but foreboding. Simpler put, it is a discomfort in the midst of seeming stability. Something threatening to reveal itself to you... 

if someone knows what I mean, say something I don't want to think I am crazy lol it is hard to articulate in words...


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Feeling okay, which is a rarity. I had some pretty positive social experiences today.
I hung out with some cool people and broke into my former high school with them, climbed on the roof and messed around with the security guard.


----------



## ShouNagatsuki

Somewhere between suicidal and homicidal.


----------



## Owl-99

Total apathy and longing for eternal sleep.


----------



## Henry Jaxx

I am feeling happy and contented at the moment...


----------



## apx24

:sigh


----------



## Nekomata

Very uncertain. Also feeling lazy about something unrelated xD


----------



## Raphael200

Strangely sleepy yet awake,sad but smiling........


----------



## millyxox

Somewhat depressed and in the dark. So this is what it's like to hit rock bottom...It's the darkest before dawn.


----------



## Nekomata

Annoyed and wary x__x;


----------



## LittleGloves

So depressed because the people that once used to be my close friends suddenly hate me and I don't know what I did to make them do that. I have never been so depressed in my life.


----------



## BlueRubberDonkeyTacos

Maybe they don't hate you. Perhaps you are misinterpreting them? Friends usually don't turn 180º all of a sudden unless they were never true friends to begin with.


----------



## Orchestrated

Horribly unmotivated. Thanks for asking.


----------



## catcharay

Feeling motivated. Yes!


----------



## Relz

Orchestrated said:


> Horribly unmotivated. Thanks for asking.


I was just about to post this, lol.
13 hours after waking up and I have accomplished nothing. :stu


----------



## vanishingpt

Feeling a bit tired, emotionally drained. Saw some people I haven't seen in almost a year and it felt kind of awkward conversing with them, mostly just because they came from my past and it's not really something I like being drawn back to.

Also got a paper due... looking forward to finishing that. Can't wait 'till the semester's done too and finish it off with a house party and pot luck.


----------



## sas111

Lonely, invisable, unwanted, small..never ends


----------



## Canucklehead

Phenominal


----------



## ApathyDivine

Sad and lonely.


----------



## Hewigi

Could be worse, but a bit rubbish


----------



## poorperson1

Now I feel sad. I need a cup of coffee.
__________________ 
Travel agent Vietnam-Halong bay cruises-Halong Valentine cruise


----------



## InfiniteBlaze

Violent. Very violent.

There's something I want to brutally murder but can't because it's not a physical entity.


----------



## sorrwel

Like I want to die because I have the brain the size of a pea, an empathy quotient the size of a toenail, and a feeling of loneliness that's larger than the Pacific Ocean.


----------



## AceEmoKid

haha, this is so funny cus the internet is apparently the only place that has an ear for listening to hear what I'm feeling. Unlike real people in my life, who never ask. Like anyone is reading this right now anyway. 

Happy. My dad visited today and set up his netflix so I can borrow it on my Wii whenever I want.  Finally makes up for the cable I lost last year, lol.


----------



## vanishingpt

Exhausted from school work and full from all the potlucks LOL.


----------



## Malek

Vanilllabb said:


> Lonely, invisable, unwanted, small..never ends


Same... I wish I could just crawl into a hole and die right now, ugh.


----------



## B l o s s o m

After quite a long time, I feel happy. I wish I just could connect more with people.


----------



## Nekomata

Bored, and tired. Really need to go to bed now. Also quite guilty *le sigh*


----------



## ApathyDivine

Tired.


----------



## Raphael200

Diferent.


----------



## vstar401

I feel hyper from two cups of coffee.


----------



## DesertStar91

I feel happy, yet stressed out because of finals are in three days. I haven't studied, but I have to have a good attitude no matter what because I probably got an A on everything else. If I get a D in French it's no biggie.


----------



## BillDauterive

Hungry and tired. I should eat lunch soon. But I really need to fix my sleeping schedule, it really disrupts my entire day and especially my work and productivity.


----------



## DesertStar91

I was happy for half of the day and then I don't know what happened. I mentioned something to my mom that happened almost 6 years ago when I was 16 and I am 100% sure I am right about it. Later on in the conversation I realised it doesn't matter because I am almost 22 and too old to be arguing about things that happened 6 years ago even if I am right. It's not worth getting mad at people who are too ignorant to admit they're wrong. What sucks about it most is that she's my mom. Throughout the entire day I acted like nothing was bothering me, so no one has a clue that she bugged me. I do love her a lot though, but I just think she's totally wrong and I will always have that opinion of the thing that happened 6 years ago, even if it doesn't matter now or anymore ever again.


----------



## simian4455

I feel hypocritical today.


----------



## vanishingpt

Good! Had a fun get-together for my friend's 25th birthday today.


----------



## Nekomata

Slightly in pain and kinda hungry.


----------



## Rossy

Fed up


----------



## Brasilia

Pointless.


----------



## ShadyGFX

Soul-crushingly lonely. I also feel like a ****, why do I do stupid things out of awkwardness? Every time I tell myself "I don't care anymore" it turns out, I do -_-
and then I rant about it on the internet.


----------



## jim11

Bad luck....bad luck...


----------



## River In The Mountain

Lonely but optimistic.


----------



## Milco

Pretty good 
It's been another good day thanks to a special someone.


----------



## ApathyDivine

Depressed.


----------



## reallyanxious

i was a little depressed and i have found this site few hours ago and it seems im no longer alone. i guess im good now


----------



## millyxox

Scared. I'm scared of falling in love & getting hurt. It's a big risk. I hate getting hurt, it's the worst feeling ever. I can handle physical pain but emotional pain is a totally different story. Part of me wants to jump in to experience what's it like but another part of me tells me to save myself from potential heartbreak. Gah this is driving me f*cking nuts.


----------



## shammie

Like I'm in a place that's actively harming my mental health rather than aiding it. 

Night.


----------



## cosmicslop

Awake as ****. I need to stop drinking coffee at night. I'm pretty good tho.


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

I hate everybody and I want humanity to die.


----------



## peppa

thank goodness someone asked. lately, ive been feeling like a tree. and just had to tell someone.


----------



## Goopus

I feel a bit under the weather.


----------



## catcharay

I feel sad..a bit lonely even with family surrounding me. Miss my love. I can talk to him about anything and everything..


----------



## Raphael200

Better..........


----------



## G i r l

Amazing =D


----------



## psychofanatic

Quite splendid


----------



## Donness

I haven't felt as good as I did in the past week in a long time, maybe a year or so. I hope it stays this way.


----------



## anxious dreamer

Sad and lonely. Nothing new.


----------



## Marakunda

Pretty bad at the moment actually, I feel like I'm stuck in a loop lately. Wake up, get on the computer, (if I even can, and my mom or sis aren't already on it) chill out in my room for hours, play video games all night, then maybe fall asleep if I can. That, over and over is my life right now. It seems on top of SAD, an avoidant personality, and depression, I've also got to deal with insomnia.... Why me?

I hate feeling like this. I'm not this type of person at all. **** I wish I had someone to talk to.... Loneliness and isolation does terrible things to people I guess. I can't help but be a silly self loathing ****** lately...


----------



## dal user

S**t


----------



## anxious dreamer

Hungry.


----------



## Mandachii

Annoyed. The pain in my upper thigh hasn't gotten better at all. :\


----------



## falling down




----------



## yadx

tired


----------



## cosmicslop

Extremely lazy. I just want to go back to school already and have winter break be done with.


----------



## HollowPrince

I've had better days.


----------



## Durzo

Feeling reflective and confused. A little lonely too.


----------



## nullptr

introspective, lonely, and thinking like a computer with feelings, but not excellent at calculations.


----------



## ladybug143

butterfly in my stomach.. alone here ... always though..:no


----------



## ladybug143

Durzo said:


> Feeling reflective and confused. A little lonely too.


play some games. it would help


----------



## cosmicslop

I feel like a f***ing idiot because I forgot I was making bouillon broth. Now the house smells like smoke. Good thing the fire detector didn't go off and i didn't die.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Frustrated, in general.


----------



## IdontMind

Pretty low..


----------



## AlphaHydrae

Terrible as always . Happy tears.


----------



## HollowPrince

F*cking horrible.


----------



## Matomi

I feel miserable all the time.


----------



## Plopperton

Headache, dizzy, lonely


----------



## BillDauterive

Oh the usual, M.E.H.


----------



## Tibble

I feel terrible, I really need some friends in my life x_x


----------



## visionaryleo

excited & worried.


----------



## falling down

stir crazy


----------



## Kanova

Welp. I was happy, and now I am sad and depressed because of something that I ALWAYS see. Ehh, man stuff.


----------



## The Quiet Girl

Really, _really_ depressed.


----------



## Anatomica

Apathetic, withdrawn & :lurk


----------



## Malek

I am nothing, and therefore I deserve nothing!


----------



## CinerealChameleon

Feeling remarkably hopeful. And a little nervous, due to my first therapist appointment tomorrow in over a decade.


----------



## Amorphousanomaly

:3


----------



## The shy soldier

I feel like this song


----------



## The shy soldier

Sorry I did not remember how to embed youtube vedio..
I feel pretty much like i got: MANY RIVERS TO CROSS...just like the song


----------



## StrangetoBehold

Confused and... longing? (Is there a specific word or emotion used when missing someone?)


----------



## momentsunset

I just feel like a worthless piece of crap. No guys ever care about me as a person. I feel like an object. Not even a good one either. Like a cheap ugly dollar store plastic knockoff barbie.


----------



## CW1985

Bored, lonely and frustrated.


----------



## ACCV93

I feel anxious, slightly confused and agitated.


----------



## Picturesque

I'm feeling pretty happy I guess, been playing The Sims 3 all day.


----------



## deanman

Was hoping to have a job by now, so I'm feeling pretty disappointed with 2013.

"Son, I am disappoint"


----------



## won

Bored, numb, uninterested in life


----------



## dassad

Very tired and lonely...


----------



## Nitrogen

Too awake for my liking.


----------



## avoidobot3000

8.5/10 Best New Mood.


----------



## SevenDays

Kinda annoyed that I went to bed at a decent time last night, only to awake 3 hours later, not being able to get back to sleep... So now I'm sitting on SAS.com.


----------



## mik

I feel great! Cant wait for later today


----------



## heysam

Bored. :<


----------



## thebluewarrior

I feel like I need a few more hours of sleep, I'm having a snooze fest...


----------



## Otherside

...Odd. =/


----------



## TobeyJuarez

im feeling ok... conflicted and a little discouraged, but ok none the less


----------



## AxeDroid

I feel uneasy, wish I could just go to sleep and wake up in Futurama, then no one will have anything to complain about me, right Fry?


----------



## millyxox

Bored & lustful...I hate feeling this way. I'll stay awake the whole night thinking about whatever & fall asleep when the sun rises up.


----------



## Dissonance

I feel Hateful I want to tear someone apart.


----------



## Loveless

Annoyed aha


----------



## Disintegration

Empty.


----------



## SuperSky

destructive


----------



## AlphaHydrae

Sour :/ barely slept for a wink during my 10 hours of sleep and with constant nightmares.


----------



## Bawsome

pretty darn good!


----------



## M90

Tired, nauseous and semi-depressed.


----------



## ILOVEXANAX

Probably like alot on here. Awake and cannot sleep


----------



## SparklingWater

Excited !


----------



## dal user

Depressed, thinking I have a hunch back and loads of other things wrong with me.


----------



## SilentLyric

nervous with some boredom on the side


----------



## thebluewarrior

Uncertain but hopeful.


----------



## ACCV93

Anxious, irritated, off balance.


----------



## ILOVEXANAX

I don't really feel anything. I just feel dull I don't have much going on inside my head at the moment or any day for that matter.


----------



## Starless Sneetch

I feel so..._broken_. That's the only way I can find to describe it. It's like something inside me snapped, and all the positive qualities I used to have just went away, but all the bad ones stayed and have been getting progressively worse.

I feel this buildup of emotion inside, and I just want to scream, but I can't. What is wrong with me? I just want help. I want this to go away. I want to be my old self again.


----------



## indigoXdaisy

My extremely low self-confidence just dropped a bit lower. Feeling great.


----------



## Gracie97

Haunted, depressed, worried, anxious.


----------



## SparklingWater

Happy loved connected hopeful

But also bored disappointed frustrated and a bit annoyed


----------



## SterilizeMe

Sick/achy, a little lonely but not wanting to really talk to anyone, irritated, restless, and slightly melancholy.


----------



## toutenkarthon

I feel ok, trying to keep the hopelessness feelings at bay.


----------



## SparklingWater

Jesus Christ. Why do I always do this! Pissed and annoyed. I'm not allowed to pull that **** ever again in life. 

And I'm cold.

Also yay! That was really fun. Joy!


----------



## AxeDroid

Lonely and bored.


----------



## extremly

i feel a hypomanic state is going to begin... I feel f%$#ing Great!!!


----------



## AllToAll

So cold. I'm really ****ing cold and my heater isn't working well.


----------



## Lowtalker

*Pretty good*

Other than kicking myself bc I know I should be asleep instead of on my computer, I feel good. I hope that everyone has a better day tomorrow than they did today.


----------



## leave me alone

Sleepy & dreamy.


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

Waiting to die


----------



## DrumToYourBeat

I'm feeling a release of pressure, like relaxation for the first time in a couple days. Grief and anxiety have taken their toll, but right now in this moment I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.


----------



## Bbpuff

I feel like dying.


----------



## Nevermind0

Super Marshy said:


> I feel like dying.


Same.


----------



## arnie

apathetic


----------



## Tibble

VickieKitties said:


> :3


3:


----------



## DesertStar91

Absolutely ****ty. I still have homework to do and I am so depressed.


----------



## Tibble

I'm at work and I feel mentally exhausted. I think I took too many anxiety relief pills. I really just want to go home and sleep -_-


----------



## SparklingWater

Hopeful and ****ing impatient.


----------



## thekcw

I'm fairly decent. Relatively okay. Moderately neato. Not unwell, thank you.


----------



## nightrain

Optimistic.


----------



## Goopus

I've been feeling really anxious and depressed but there's sunlight peeking through the clouds, maybe it'll come out tomorrow. I'll bet my bottom dollar that tomorrow.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

A bit better than earlier.


----------



## thebluewarrior

Utterly lonely :-/


----------



## AceEmoKid

Atm? A bit giddy. 

By the big picture? Depressed, tired, lonely, uncertain.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

yulian said:


> Utterly lonely :-/


Hope you feel better soon.


----------



## Jiya007

yulian said:


> Utterly lonely :-/


Me too.


----------



## thebluewarrior

Jiya007 said:


> Me too.


I've done a scribble today, based on the feeling...


----------



## Blackwood

Restless


----------



## Venompoo

i'm depressed as usual... just really down


----------



## lockS

Sh*tty and pissed off....well nothing new haha.


----------



## Nitrogen

Bored. I miss one of my friends too, who I haven't spoke with in awhile. Blah.


----------



## SparklingWater

Unsure. Hesitant.


----------



## Jiya007

IWillGetPastThis said:


> Unsure. Hesitant.


About what?


----------



## Jiya007

In pain, in constant pain.


----------



## ACCV93

Anxious/guilty


----------



## januarygirl

Tired, ran down and nervous.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Weird :blank


----------



## SparklingWater

Relieved to be honest. Thank goodness! Didn't realize I felt so pressured. Best not to push myself so hard in the future. Progress takes baby steps.

Also really wish I had someone to eat these wasabi and soy almonds with and periodically exclaim at how ****ing hot they are lol.


----------



## SterilizeMe

Physically/mentally exhausted, restless, irritable


----------



## Monotony

****ing pointless


----------



## F S

Tired, but too restless to sleep. Waiting for the sun to come up so I can walk my dog.


----------



## SparklingWater

More free than I've ever felt and I deserve it.


----------



## Jiya007

Troubled..


----------



## IdontMind

Like a z tired zombie.


----------



## Nothingman24

Brilliant, I feel more positive than usual.


----------



## pineapplebun

Flighty, in limbo, and a lingering sadness.


----------



## Daniel C

Like the cork of a bottle of red wine that's been putrefying in the moisty cellar of a Sicilian mafia boss who is currently revalidating from a shot injury inflicted by a rivalling gang during a shooting that took place in the outskirts of Catania on a day on which the sun was obscured by clouds made out of acid rain. Exactly like that.


----------



## SparklingWater

**** I'm not comparing myself to others and I suddenly want to perform. It's a goddamn miracle. I am going to crush SA.


----------



## TheTraveler

Nervous and really nauseous.


----------



## AnotherRawAddict

Well, since I ran out of anti-depressants two days ago. Really really ****ty. My next appointment is next Wednesday and I have to make sure I don't commit suicide until then.


----------



## Unkn0wn Pleasures

Hopeless


----------



## SilentLyric

TheTraveler said:


> Nervous and really nauseous.


this is how I feel too.


----------



## J_Duece

Confused and a little sad, but I'm going to gym, that should help me out.


----------



## M90

Depressed.


----------



## Green Monkey

Unfazed


----------



## SilentLyric

anxious! yay!


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

angry agitated pissed off and like i could kill someone
i just want to leave


----------



## eveningbat

Depressed and angry


----------



## NoHeart

Tired mostly...


----------



## Brasilia

nuffing


----------



## SterilizeMe

Restless, as usual


----------



## InimitableJeeves

I can't even describe it...it's almost like I'm being punished and I want to escape from that.


----------



## James1311

Really bored


----------



## leave me alone

Scared & excited.


----------



## TheSaneThief

Too anxious to get my life going, just want to get my license and start riding.
I guess frustrated too.


----------



## SilentLyric

depressed for no reason.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

I feel humbled and reticent.


----------



## vanishingpt

Physically, pretty tired and worn out.
Emotionally, kind of happy but it's wearing down a bit.
Mentally, exhausted. LOL.


----------



## Solid Croft

Wanting to hide.


----------



## cybernaut

Tired
Unmotivated


----------



## NoHeart

Defeated, exhausted, run down, depressed...


----------



## deanman

I'm feeling like ****.


----------



## noyadefleur

Hungover and like a bit of an idiot. :tiptoe


----------



## Rainlullaby

I'm feeling like nothing is ever going to change.
Depressed.
Frustrated with myself.


----------



## Nekomata

Tired, very tired.


----------



## buttgumpling

really good


----------



## HarryStanluv25

Frustrated and annoyed... my goodness, really sis??


----------



## MrQuiet76

i'm still so hungover from last night


----------



## toutenkarthon

Pretty good. Took some pills the last two days which helped with my anxiety.


----------



## NoHeart

Confuzed sad


----------



## M90

Depressed and tired of life.


----------



## Charmander

Sad.


----------



## IdontMind

Tired a lot of the time, wish I knew what to do to make it go away.


----------



## NoHeart

Bored as all hell.


----------



## noyadefleur

Really really sick and in pain. :cry


----------



## Kakumbus

Like I need sleep , which i wont have.


----------



## Tibble

I feel lost. I don't know what to do. I'm all alone. I can't think straight. Loneliness is killing me. *cry*


----------



## coeur_brise

comme-ci, comme ca, meh. blah, and other like adjectives.


----------



## monotonous

oh look it's feb 14, 12:14am, another disappointing year epic fail loser


----------



## WineKitty

I feel a constantly growing sense of depression like I haven't felt in years. Although I have things to look forward to, I feel lonely and depressed. Something did happen recently with family, rejected coldly by a family member, that has helped this along although I cannot pin that as the trigger. I dont take ADs but do take Klonopin. Kpins are great for anxiety but don't do **** for depression. I am getting worried, I hate the black feeling that is enveloping me.


----------



## Sanandreas818

I'm not really sure. I guess decent.


----------



## bellejar

I feel shut out and betrayed.


----------



## NoHeart

Kind of happy, kind of sad, bittersweet I guess but I'm trying to get over it.


----------



## thisismeyo

Alright, trying to get life on track though


----------



## Brasilia




----------



## Nekomata

Bored, although intrigued, and yet annoyed because of something else.
So... three reasons for three different feelings~


----------



## KaoJ

I feel great. Life has been great to me lately.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

I feel pretty good. I managed to get a lot of stuff done today. I fixed a problem with my car that was causing smog issues so now my registration is valid and now I can finally sell it. I am going car shopping at the end of the month to get something a lot better. I talked to 3 strangers today and I managed to come off as friendly and I made one person smile and laugh. I went for a hour long run and did some weightlifting after putting off exercising for almost 2 weeks. I have put on about seven pounds that have covered up my abs, so I am working to get those back.

I don't feel depressed at all right now like I usually do and I have been feeling a lot more confident with myself lately. I just hope it stays this way.


----------



## theseventhkey

Like a ******* jerkoff.


----------



## Mur

A bit tired, I'm waiting on my buddy to call me when he gets off work so we can smoke up


----------



## diamondheart89

I feel great today.


----------



## ACCV93

This morning I felt like dying. I woke up and my anxiety made it feel like I was slowly suffocating and there was no escape. I continued having dark, violent thoughts until I finally got out of my bed. :afr **** everything.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Giddy and full of fuzzies after watching the season 3 finale of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic  It was sooooo good!


----------



## fonz

I feel sh*t,been sick all day.


----------



## thomasjune

I feel lonely. I don't need any friends i just miss my family.


----------



## dloux30

*I am feeling kind of upset, depressed, my anexity is going nuts and I feel kind of alone or something, i dont know.*


----------



## AceEmoKid

meh.


----------



## MoonForge

I feel sort of anxious and excited somehow, and also tired because its still morning : o


----------



## cafune

Bored with a hint of lonely. I have plenty of things I could do, though (perhaps unmotivated then?).


----------



## CoastalSprite

Sad.


----------



## Goopus

I feel a bit under the weather to be honest.


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

sick and not sure if i want to die


----------



## nullptr

Tired, lazy, procrastinating, depressed. my life.


----------



## visualkeirockstar

I feel nothing.


----------



## vanishingpt

Had a really good day today. I've still got a lot of things to do though, and a bit of a problem that's been lurking on my mind lately.

It's nice to relax, have time to myself, and catch up on things I love.


----------



## InTheEvening

Grumpy


----------



## loneranger

Feeling a little down right now.


----------



## Maverick34

a lil off kilter but better after i moved my bowels


----------



## DenizenOfDespair

Eh, kind of depressed but I've felt worse.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Not too bad but I wish I hadn't spent so much money today, arg.


----------



## intheshadows

Lost...


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

empty and wanting to bake.


----------



## noyadefleur

Unmotivated and nervous.


----------



## Fruitcake

Like my skin is millipedes.


----------



## cafune

Like I narrowly escaped death. OMG. I actually thought she was going to rage at me. PHEW. She laughed instead. Talk about unpredictable reactions. Mind=BLOWN.


----------



## Nekomata

Tired and bored. Otherwise, good.


----------



## Hamster12

Blah


----------



## Vida

anxious and a bit remorseful


----------



## cafune

Like someone took a bunch of clashing personalities, threw them together, and BAM, my personality was born.

Also, sleepy. Don't know why I'm procrastinating on that.


----------



## gomenne

I feel very sad, and I regret everything I did in my entire life. If only I could redo everything. I just want to disappear.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Very anxious and I feel like I am losing progress. My SA has been really bad the past couple days.


----------



## loneranger

I feel frustrated with my medical bills.:sly:


----------



## ACCV93

Tense, agitated, depressed, meaningless, frustrated, misanthropic, paranoid, fed up, sick and tired. Eh, I think that covers everything atm.


----------



## strawberrysam

Sick. :/


----------



## renegade disaster

s***e, ashamed and remorseful. kind of hate myself.


----------



## renegade disaster

that it would be better off for everyone if I was dead.


----------



## deuss

Nervous


----------



## leave me alone

Nervous/excited.


----------



## Barette

I'm not sure right now. All I know is I feel like imploding into a black hole and destroying everything around me.


----------



## intheshadows

Perverted..


----------



## BillDauterive

Lower than usual, had my dad yelling at me just now. :um:afr


----------



## intheshadows

Drunk now...


----------



## renegade disaster

tired. need more sleep. meds have permanently screwed my sleeping patterns.


----------



## NoHeart

I feel like I wanna get totally ****faced and sleep for 6 months...


----------



## Starless Sneetch

Exhausted and sick. My acid reflux has also reared its ugly head again.


----------



## Bohuw

sh*t, absolutely terrible.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Bored as hell.


----------



## visualkeirockstar

Sad. I don't know what to do.


----------



## NoHeart

Pretty good now, cycling makes me feel so awesome, it's like a drug.


----------



## blue the puppy

great!!!!


----------



## Nekomata

Hungry and bothered.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Sleepy and like I don't want to go back to the cold weather.


----------



## lockS

Tired....have to come up with a topic for a paper I have to write and I CANNOT THINK OF ANYTHING AT ALL


----------



## heyJude

Crappy.


----------



## renegade disaster

stupid and disorganized, can't believe i've forgotten an appointment because i've got the days mixed up.:fall


----------



## lily92

sad and ugly my mom just found out i forged my 10th grade - 11th grade report cards and all those thousands of dollars on tutoring was wasted on a ugly stupid fat ***** like me i need to be doing credit recovery for algebra algebra 2 and geometry (which i was tutored on but i never applied it to school work) on the computer or i'm not graduating i fail in high school and life i know ill get the credit recovery done its a million times easier than real school work but ill graduate as the retarded girl with no friends i got kicked of my magnet school the end of junior year now i'm in the 12 grade at the risk of not graduating which is in about 2 months agh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1


----------



## ACCV93

Depressed


----------



## tickled

Tired
Alone, but not lonely


----------



## JerkusMaximus

Ashamed of myself, for things that perhaps are insignificant.


----------



## Mur

Hungry, I only have half a bottle of parmesan cheese in my fridge, I should probably make a trip to the grocery store soon.


----------



## probably offline




----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Feeling kind of regretful.

Also feel sleepy. I got about 6 hours sleep, but may go back to bed.


----------



## Bohuw

so very tired and no matter how many days i work, i always go to sleep feeling anxious as hell about the next work day. i dont ever 'get used to it'.


----------



## cafune

Exhausted, frustrated, alienated, alone. Bad.


----------



## renegade disaster

been waiting around for a phonecall, they said the would ring at noon,when they told me that it made me feel secure, having some exact details and planning. typically I was getting really nervous around the time period when they were expected to call. they never rang, and now i'm left feeling a little bothered. 
I'm a little less apprehensive about what i'm going to say,its turned to more of an uncomfortable worry as I don't know when my phone is going to ring. if I am distracted and doing something ,I will miss it.

so yea, this has basically been bothering me all day.


----------



## renegade disaster

feel like my life is on hold. I just want to press on with things but i'm being delayed ,slowed down or halted. right now it feels like the only thing that is happening for me is that i'm aging.


----------



## Mur

ostracized


----------



## nml

ok. Planning what to do this week...internships to apply to, third sector training to look in to, people to phone and maybe hang out with, wasabi and thai dishes to cook. should be a pretty busy week


----------



## StarryNights2089

Feeling a bit annoyed and angry at the moment. -.-


----------



## hipolito

lily92 said:


> sad and ugly my mom just found out i forged my 10th grade - 11th grade report cards and all those thousands of dollars on tutoring was wasted on a ugly stupid fat ***** like me i need to be doing credit recovery for algebra algebra 2 and geometry (which i was tutored on but i never applied it to school work) on the computer or i'm not graduating i fail in high school and life i know ill get the credit recovery done its a million times easier than real school work but ill graduate as the retarded girl with no friends i got kicked of my magnet school the end of junior year now i'm in the 12 grade at the risk of not graduating which is in about 2 months agh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1


ouch, that sounds really overwhelming. I've faced school-related stresses myself and know just how much those can wreck you. like... you wake up in the morning and not even one second passes before you start feeling immensely hollow and a sense of foreboding. 
I guess we gotta sort out your problems in a hierarchy. 
I don't mean to downplay the feelings associated with "graduating as the retarded girl with no friends," but when it comes to immediate dangers, I think it's safe to say that the other kids in your grade that weren't your friends can _suck it_. If they judge you for what you've been through, it's only because they've got no idea what it's like to be you. The last thing I want you to feel among your other problems is guilty for what's happening. So the problems are real, and we gotta work through them, but please don't be down on yourself for having them. I know that when I feel down and stupid, all I would really like is some reassurance that it's not my fault and that all I need to focus on is setting things straight.

Can I know why tutoring didn't help? Is it cause you weren't learning, or because you weren't feeling involved? do you have a learning disability?


----------



## Xtraneous

Losing my mind.


----------



## Lonely n Cold

Tired, lonely, bored, depressed, hopeless.


----------



## renegade disaster

slowly going into another listless mood.


----------



## cafune

like a bubbling, poorly made chemical concoction


----------



## Nekomata

Annoyed and depressed...


----------



## intheshadows

Dead inside.


----------



## catcharay

Home. Want to go home.


----------



## Miss Apprehensive

Stressed,tired,worried,frustrated.


----------



## markwalters2

Sexy.


----------



## hammerfast

i'm feeling atrocious


----------



## Odinn

Not bad


----------



## diamondheart89

ennui


----------



## probably offline

(I actually just wanted to creep people out with this)


----------



## SilentLyric

stressed


----------



## Andres124

I feel bummed out


----------



## NoraN

I feel alone and left out everywhere


----------



## cozynights

I don't feel happy but not sad either. Last week I had really bad news so I'm still recovering but I am satisfied with the current moment.


----------



## intheshadows

Totally inadequate.Completely insecure,. Paranoid, neurotic. 

Just like George Costanza.


----------



## Limmy

lonley.


----------



## Sadok

Lonely and Anxious. :/


----------



## KangalLover

gooood


----------



## Xtraneous

Worried


----------



## mezzoforte

Xtraneous said:


> Worried


Don't worry, honeychild. :hug


----------



## rdrr

meh


----------



## AceEmoKid

Thinking about my life makes me want to throw up. I feel like I'm gagging. I just want to lock the door, turn off the lights, curl up in a ball under the covers and die.


----------



## Charmander

Sleepy.


----------



## Revenwyn

Confused.


----------



## mezzoforte

Horny. Playful. Content.


----------



## typemismatch

I'm on a train and will be for the next two hours. I like train journeys. Nice to just listen to some music (Beethoven). And read a book and check on this site.


----------



## catcharay

Sad and lonely because it is quiet and that darn cat is having an adventure somewhere. 
April 15 ..can't wait!


----------



## renegade disaster

tired


----------



## SilentLyric

stressed, anxious.


----------



## eveningbat

Lonely as usual


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Overtired, annoyed, restless


----------



## renegade disaster

happy


----------



## renegade disaster

hungry


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

Stressed out, highly strung. I just want to be able to drive this truck properly, and not be missing gears and selecting inappropriate ones for specific speeds. I really hope tomorrow is better.


----------



## Mousey9

Insignificant, lousy, lonely, pathetic


----------



## Nekomata

Bored, hungry and lonely~


----------



## Astraia

Frustrated, angry, pissed off, and lonely


----------



## renegade disaster

sick, I can't figure out why i'm not well. either stress and lack of sleep or i've overdone the drug use in the last day or so. my head feels ****ing awful. I feel like throwing up.


----------



## extremly

As hungry as a cannibal, trapped in a van of cantaloupes


----------



## StarryNights2089

Bored.


----------



## NoHeart

****ing ****e, what a surprise and a great way to start my easter break... I'd rather just have school so I'd have something to do.


----------



## renegade disaster

drunk


----------



## probably offline

Like a kitty without milk.


----------



## manroger4

I'm bored and feel life is boring gradually.Since I've lost some money that I had saved from so long.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Very very bored, stir crazy, and frustrated as usual.


----------



## Starless Sneetch

Tired and bored. It's spring break and I finally have no work to do and....I am bored. This happens every time I get a break from work/school.


----------



## noyadefleur

Imperfect, unwanted, numb.


----------



## Revenwyn

Sad, lonely, unloved


----------



## NightRunner

Angry, lost, frustrated, miserable. That pretty much sums it up right now.


----------



## noyadefleur

Weird. Really really weird. Sudden distrust/questioning of motives of everyone I know.

I just walked home from the hospital, I was there with my mom while she got her broken ribs checked out and was waiting for x-rays. I was getting tired so she said I could leave. I passed this church was massive open fields, and I can't remember the last time I saw such a large empty space. I just wanted to run through it. As I was walking I felt like I wasn't really moving, just floating.


----------



## Dissonance

I feel a bit jumpy, I want to lay eggs, and I feel like my ears are a bit long and for some reason I think I have fur and I'm craving a carrot.


----------



## renegade disaster

blazed and tired.


----------



## Charmander

Annoyed with myself


----------



## Monotony

Annoyed that someone ate the left over crazy bread and pizza.


----------



## tieffers

Overwhelmed with guilt. Overexercising to the point of feeling sick didn't help this time. But it shouldn't. Selfish of me to keep looking for ways to weasel out of feeling this way when it's what I'm supposed to feel. Can't be upset over being upset anymore, because it's warranted. I'm so grateful to realize that.


----------



## Nitrogen

Stressed.


----------



## Otherside

Feeling good, for once. Christ, am I going hypomanic again? Been leaping around the house and my thoughts are beginning to race. But WTF, hypomania feels good...lets live it!


----------



## NoHeart

Like a damned fool!


----------



## AceEmoKid

Somewhat mirthful.


----------



## renegade disaster

something is wrong and can't put my finger on what it is. my sub-conscience confuses me, I hate it when this happens. will probably be alright again in a few days.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Groggy


----------



## ApathyDivine

Resentful


----------



## cosmicslop

i'm feeling nauseous for no reason and it's annoying me.


----------



## SilentLyric

optimistic. I can do this. I will do this.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & disappointed with life


----------



## Fine Finn

rested..

if anyone's feeling depressed, i can offer you some psychic healing energy, if you like.


----------



## callmebas

Programmed to fail.

I guess i need some updates


----------



## cosmicslop

I still feel nauseous. I'm also frustrated that I've seemed to lost my ability to cry in the past few weeks. I just need to cry and I can't.


----------



## cafune

ChampagneYear said:


> I still feel nauseous. I'm also frustrated that I've seemed to lost my ability to cry in the past few weeks. I just need to cry and I can't.


You don't have any songs, movie scenes, etc. that will set you off? Particular memories? Even happy ones? Worst comes to worst, you could start plucking your eyebrows or something; it always works for me. Anyway, I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I know that feel. :/

---

Thoroughly amused and a bit faint.


----------



## cosmicslop

cafune said:


> You don't have any songs, movie scenes, etc. that will set you off? Particular memories? Even happy ones? Worst comes to worst, you could start plucking your eyebrows or something; it always works for me. Anyway, I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I know that feel. :/
> 
> ---
> 
> Thoroughly amused and a bit faint.


I just tired looking at all sad or emotional parts in my old childhood movies but my eyes only tear up. I want to flat out bawl until my eyes get swollen and i can't breathe through my nose. I need to detoxify everything in me somehow. It's a crap feel for sure.


----------



## Buerhle

I'm tired


----------



## cafune

ChampagneYear said:


> I just tired looking at all sad or emotional parts in my old childhood movies but my eyes only tear up. I want to flat out bawl until my eyes get swollen and i can't breathe through my nose. I need to detoxify everything in me somehow. It's a crap feel for sure.


Hmm, for me, eventually _something_ will do it... Usually something small will push me over the edge unexpectedly. It's quite cathartic. Maybe you could look for some other form of release in the meantime? Like exercising, listening to loud music, writing out your thoughts, etc.? Anyway, good luck.


----------



## Bbpuff

I don't want to sleep, and yet I don't want to be tired.....


----------



## catcharay

nostalgic..feeling like i did as a young person growing up, those feelings resemble what i feel now

it's a feeling of life and it's poignancy, what you can gain from it and it's memories


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Refreshed. Good old hot showers


----------



## AceEmoKid

Good. I love the atmosphere when everybody in the house is rushing around, doing last minute packing....and I'm already packed. :lol But I love the atmosphere anyway. The cool air, the sound of my sisters and mum rushing in and out of the bathroom, breakfast sandwiches for the special occasion. Anyway, I should be out there, enjoying the atmosphere. See ya later SAS.


----------



## NoHeart

Meh


----------



## Astrofreak6

Scared that when i finish my course in a couple months i won't be able to find a job and that it will force me to stay longer w/ my family. I mean i love them, but i want my own place and a job so i can pay for it. Well, right now i guess i must focus on my studies.


----------



## probably offline




----------



## wallenstein

I'm alright.


----------



## millenniumman75

Tired - like sinus stuff, too. Leftover heat and dry air from this morning. 
I need moys-chuh! LOL


----------



## NoHeart

Hungover, tired and i have a soar throat.... Bleh


----------



## BeyondOsiris

Could be better, but better than yesterday so that's a start.


----------



## Warlord

OdeToMelancholy said:


> I feel nothing, hiding behind a fake smile for people who hate me anyway. I'm sick of acting like I'm okay again.
> Still, I guess feeling like this could make me study better. I don't know.


God I feel exactly like you! All of my class mates just dislike me a lot or even hate me and I keep acting like everything is fine while feeling I wanna drop dead or jump off third floor and get the hell out of this cruel world.


----------



## GotAnxiety

I'm feeling a bit better


----------



## NoHeart

Sleepy.


----------



## renegade disaster

could have done with an hour or two of more sleep.


----------



## Kascheritt

Feeling okay.


----------



## cosmicslop

5/10. It's the first time I've felt somewhat okay since feeling like crap for the last few weeks.


----------



## SilentLyric

hungry, with anxiety


----------



## jennyrsand

exhausted


----------



## vshay

I feel better already ! new to this site and didn't know it existed ! ppffffttt lol maybe I did but it does seem quite confusing guess ill have to keep coming on here to see if it might help me at times ! Dealing with alot and definatly need to deal with it some way some how ! getting in touch with my feelings is step one I think (know) so I choose to read this thread thanks for posting it ! So for the rest of the day now Ill be saying **** my Feelings ! have a nice day !


----------



## NoHeart

Cynical


----------



## CristianNC

Okay since today's football games were very entertaining. Feel depressed as hell before though and I'm sure it's coming back when I wake up tomorrow.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Sore, tired, ugly, melancholy.


----------



## Transcending

Sh*itty*


----------



## Limmy

sad


----------



## NoHeart

I feel better... I fear I might end up having to admit to myself one of these days that actually talking to someone DOES lift my spirits... **** what have I become....


----------



## visualkeirockstar

Sick, tried, and depress.


----------



## renegade disaster

pants


----------



## InimitableJeeves

A bit sad and worried.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & frail


----------



## arnie

Lonely. Isolated. Melancholy.


----------



## popeet

isolated and on my last legs.


----------



## Warlord

Feeling weird at the moment, like I'm on some kind of island standing between my school, my family, my friends, feels like I'm not satisfying anyone :/


----------



## tbyrfan

arnie said:


> Lonely. Isolated. Melancholy.


----------



## eveningbat

Just tired.


----------



## renegade disaster

I want to be left alone.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Full. I just finished breakfast


----------



## Innominate

Does anyone here actually feel like they're being _heard_ or are you just using this space (like many others on the forum) as a sounding board? Honestly curious what people think about this.

Oh and I guess I'm feeling empty, tired and demotivated, but I could've omitted 2/3 of those descriptors and still gotten the point across.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Oh my gosh, terrible...


----------



## catcharay

The pull-my-hair feeling cos I broke the printer


----------



## callmebas

I actually can't tell. Maybe numb, apathetic and empty.


----------



## dassad

Really exhausted.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Insignificant and desolate.


----------



## Lacking Serotonin

I'm feeling well today.


----------



## NoHeart

Hopeless.


----------



## SilentLyric

a little sick


----------



## Soundboy

Like I need to pee. 


Brb


----------



## noyadefleur

Pathetic.


----------



## ThisIsWater

Hopelessly lonely. Not quite at the nadir of my life but far from okay.

Longing for love


----------



## Reclus

Like Otis Redding at Monterey.


----------



## louielou

*who cares?*

I need to tell someone what is happening in my life considering i have not a single soul to talk to. In highschool i was the popular girl everyone was friends with i am the goody toeshoes christian cheerleader that had no problems with anyone. In high school i went through the roughest time of my life but God pulled me through. In that situation i had the option to talk to someone but didnt take the chance to tell someone i struggled with a situation for 3 years with not even my best friend knowing. Any thats just a back story of me the real problem is now. After highschool i did a small trip for bettering my relationship with god but came home to hell. My mom and dad moved out of town leaving me homeless and to top it off on the night of my birthday I lost every friend i had in highschool including my best friend ever there is so much to this story but i hate talking about life because no one cares. NOT A SINGLE PERSON! like there is probably millions of people on this website helping eachother out but no one actually cares. I believe God will send people my way but its been ^ months of living in hell and i have not a single person to tell. So there you have it website, a little something about my life


----------



## wallenstein

Tired. And I haven't even done anything strenuous.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Very sad about something that happened.


----------



## robert07

Today I am so angry because my dad beats me so hard. What about you??


----------



## christacat

Like everyone hates me on here and i dont belong on here


----------



## Astrofreak6

Feeling young and free! Finally deleted my facebook


----------



## dal user

Depressed


----------



## IcySoul

Utterly horrible.


----------



## mardymoo

Dreading working the night shift tonight.


----------



## Noll

Good.


----------



## NoHeart

Guilty


----------



## Durzo

Pretty good  I accept I love her and that I doubt we will ever be together again, and even though that makes me sad, I am happy knowing that I gained things from that relationship. Looking for someone better will be difficult but if everything was easy nothing would be any fun. I am able to smile and feel warm when I think of her again, which I hope will be the case for the rest of my life.


----------



## cosmicslop

5.5/10

I think I've finally got out of that 3 month depressive episode. I have a bit more motivation to do things now. coincidentally i've fixed my sleep schedule too. so yea.


----------



## Reclus

Perhaps the sleep schedule being fixed at the same time is not just coincidental? :idea


----------



## RoseWhiteRoseRed

okay. much better than yesterday


----------



## Raphael200

Wonderful.


----------



## NoHeart

Bit better than last night, but still feeling pretty messed up.


----------



## Cronos

Annoyed. Darn you spring allergies!!! Other than that, pretty good.


----------



## ForBrighterDays

Tired, but calm.


----------



## simbo

sore throat :L


----------



## RoseWhiteRoseRed

simbo said:


> sore throat :L


hope you feel better soon


----------



## DubnRun

isolated as always


----------



## Innominate

Exhausted because I didn't sleep til dawn, but otherwise..ok.


----------



## Gurosan

good,great,awesome,even better than that!


----------



## Starless Sneetch

Awful. I was feeling so elated, but certain people have a knack for making me feel like crap. Welcome back, stress-induced ulcers! I missed you.


----------



## Karsten

Tired and unenergetic. There are a lot of things I should be doing, but I just don't have the drive.


----------



## panopticon

Ugh. I've had a crush on a girl from one of my classes this semester, but the class is over and it doesn't have a final, so I assumed I would never see her again. This morning, as I was entering the school for my biology final, she was entering at the opposite side of the building. She isn't in biology, but rather accounting: it just so happened that the finals for our sections in those two courses were being held simultaneously in the same room. What are the odds? Oh, and she was with a male friend.. or something. But of course I still believe it was kismet.

"Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torment of man."


----------



## Emnity33

I feel more depressed now than I have in a long time..not so good.


----------



## IveGotToast

Dead


----------



## tieffers

Boneless. I could have sworn I was floating away a second ago, like I'm completely untethered save for a thread growing more worn each day. My imagination's so vivid tonight. I wonder what's got me in such a lovely mood.


----------



## nml

like I really, really need to get my **** together. If I do bugger for another year it'll be so damaging to my cv, and will probably finish my hopes of getting a job I'd like for good. Wish someone could be there to physically kick me up the arse till I apply for stuff.


----------



## Ardi

Horrible


----------



## NoHeart

Anxious.


----------



## Haruhi

miserable, lonely and isolated.


----------



## cautious

Positive. It's not going to last for long though...but i'm feeling hopeful right now.


----------



## ufc

Upset, shaken, and pissed off. Yesterday my hometown was attacked. 
617 STAY STRONG


----------



## renegade disaster

I want to die.


----------



## AlchemyFire

Tired, but happy. I'm head banging to music playing in my brain. I'm a freak ^-^


----------



## Fairydust

Raw and detached.


----------



## Warlord

Really stressed at the moment, want to be left alone but cared for, at the same time.... -_-


----------



## MoonForge

Not very good at all, and i feel very lonely and emotional, but its something i have to pass through because making friends when i feel bad isn't a good thing for me :/


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed & tired of life


----------



## NoHeart

Really sleepy.


----------



## CristianNC

Worse than ever.


----------



## KeithB72

anxious, scared, and tipsy.


----------



## NoHeart

So ****ing anxious... I can't believe what I'm about to get myself into!


----------



## AceEmoKid

Actually pretty decent. It feels nice to be reassured by friends.  Plus I've been doing better as far as grades and self-control.


----------



## ozzyadmirer

*muahaha*

The greatest thing about this is that so much has been posted here that no one will ever read it. Or maybe they will. Who ****ing cares?

How do I feel? Angry. I'm always angry. I'm always trying to stay calm. I used to be able to pretend I was happy. I've lost that ability and now I'm just kind of quiet most of the time which sucks because I love to talk. Now I'm typing. And umm.. yeah. I'm angry. I'm sad because I'm angry. I'm angry because I'm worthless. I'm worthless because I refuse to fix certain things. I refuse to fix certain things because every time in the past that I've tried, it's all blown up in my face. It's blown up in my face because I ****ed up. I ****ed up because I was sad. I was sad because I was angry. I was angry because no one loved me. No one loved me because I let them walk all over me. I let them walk all over me because I thought that was love. I thought that was love because I'm stupid. I'm stupid because I chose to be. I chose to be stupid because no one liked me when I was smart. No one liked me when I was smart because they were dumb. End.


----------



## RoseWhiteRoseRed

depressed. just woke up feeling like this, was feeling much better yesterday


----------



## HollowPrince

Sadly, I feel horrible. And I can hardly do anything about it...


----------



## EndlessBlu

I don't want feelings anymore


----------



## shadowgrl

awful
i am having a very bad setback. trying to find my.way back.out agsin now. tryimg.not to let myself fall in all the same old holes. i didnt even know i got.here....just earlier i thought i was.great...didnt realize what i was doing. is this a function of social anxiety? there is a reason my.signiature is what it is


----------



## shadowgrl

oops posted in the wrong place. sorry.


----------



## sas111

Desperate and almost insane


----------



## Revenwyn

PMSy, jittery, and tired.

I wasn't feeling well yesterday, called in sick, slept until 3 PM, couldn't get to sleep until 2 AM, woke up at 5:30, came to the coffee shop at 6:30, ate a piece of cappuccino chocolate cake and had a mocha. Now I have jitters from too much caffeine. Maybe I should go home and take a bit of a nap.


----------



## renegade disaster

intoxicated (alcohol and drugs)
dizzy (lack of medication)


----------



## Sinatra

bored and lonely


----------



## Xtraneous

Depressed
Angry
Reckless


----------



## AceEmoKid

Excited  New idea for a business venture, hopefully this will be more fruitful than the last (a couple years ago I started selling handmade friendship bracelets, but I ended up giving them away for dirt cheap or even free to my first customers, as they were all coworkers and friends! D: )


----------



## nightrain

AceEmoKid said:


> Excited  New idea for a business venture, hopefully this will be more fruitful than the last (a couple years ago I started selling handmade friendship bracelets, but I ended up giving them away for dirt cheap or even free to my first customers, as they were all coworkers and friends! D: )


Good luck with whatever it is!


----------



## AceEmoKid

nightrain said:


> Good luck with whatever it is!


Thank you! I'm working hard on it as we speak. So far just getting the designs in for some of the products.


----------



## loneranger

Another weekend.:sly:


----------



## NoHeart

Strangely good and confident today, though ****ing nervous as **** for tomorrow, though that's a given... and I'd rather be feeling confident and anxious as opposed to depressed and anxious.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Annoyed.


----------



## I wish i was normal

Lonely, upset, rejected, depressed, suicidal


----------



## renegade disaster

like I want to disappear.


----------



## toutenkarthon

AceEmoKid said:


> Thank you! I'm working hard on it as we speak. So far just getting the designs in for some of the products.


I think that it is incredible that you're so young but already actively working on a business venture. Good luck and keep at it!


----------



## user19981

Annoyed at my housemate who's yelling and cheering above me whilst playing SC2... it's almost 2am, ******.


----------



## MoonForge

I feel a bit better today knowing that things are in progress now


----------



## noyadefleur

Eternally empty.


----------



## probably offline

I was stupid and took a nap earlier so now I can't sleep. Other than that I feel fabulous.


----------



## DarrellLicht

Sad and alienated. It's easily been two weeks since I spoken to another human being.


----------



## jvo

Hi moroff I don't know if you would like this but if you want to message somebody, you can go ahead and message me if you wanted. Just an offer, you don't have to take it 

Right now I am feeling exhausted from a day on my feet and a little sleepy.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Like I don't want to travel tomorrow.


----------



## Endrance

I feel like there's something that i really want but i can't have it...


----------



## cuppy

I've had a tiny headache all day but im happy ^_^


----------



## JamesM2

Fine. It's Saturday night so no work today and no work tomorrow :cup


----------



## Soundboy

I'm feeling depressed I missed out a function in school.  I should of went but I was nervous


----------



## losteternal

A recent big financial setback has left me very low.


----------



## prince2

A little bit feeling sad..


----------



## NoHeart

Idgaf


----------



## MoonForge

I feel sleepy, but better : o


----------



## Keyblade

I'm feeling really good right now for some reason :3


----------



## Green Monkey

I was feeling extremely stressed because I have an exam on the 30th but for some reason the stress is all gone, and now I feel nothing but calmness.


----------



## cuppy

Triumphant and a little scared and i feel like going "WHEW!!"


----------



## vanishingpt

Calm. 

Kind of nice for a change.


----------



## radisto

I feel bad but it's my fault.


----------



## renegade disaster

*relieved* that the internet is back to normal. I was getting fed up with this;










but i'm *apprehensive* that it's going to happen again.


----------



## Sacrieur

That ^

Also indomitable.


----------



## Flame Sixtyone

Worn down.


----------



## Sacrieur

Also this.






At the same time as above.

I know, I'm complicated.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Lonely.


----------



## Lala Banana

Miserable.


----------



## Sacrieur

Also this v






Also like an idiot, but what else is new xD

I've been pretty heavily motivated recently too. I like this.

OHO OHOHOH one more.

because I'm feeling the mambo


----------



## Raphael200

Like the the angel fish on burning coal.


----------



## Andre

Like a hot stove that they keep poking at! OW gladman son of a *****! My life is awesome and wonderful, every day.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tense. I need to stretch & rest


----------



## sas111

Stupid, confused, isolated..the usual


----------



## Warlord

I'm feeling like going home from school and overdosing on something and end this already.


----------



## MoonForge

I feel tired, but the sun was shining and i did my walk, so yay : o


----------



## eveningbat

Ill.


----------



## Raphael200

Like an angel who lost his wings but refuses to become a demon.


----------



## purplebutterfly

I feel great, life is beautiful, I think you are all wonderful and I'm happy to be here on such a nice day.


----------



## renegade disaster

sick and despondent.


----------



## NoHeart

Cold, hungry, tired and depressed...


----------



## Diáfanos

feelin like cht after 24+ hrs of no sleep


----------



## intheshadows

Numb


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Sleepy


----------



## misspeachy

Okay


----------



## Astrofreak6




----------



## NoHeart

Brilliant!


----------



## renegade disaster

a little bit bemused.


----------



## the alley cat

Slightly depressed... it's just because life seems so monotonic and dull. I feel very alone. At least I'm finding things to captivate my interest, but whenever I get out out of it I realize how alone I am and that puts me down.


----------



## mjis

Dariann said:


> Right now i am feeling sad because, my GF was left
> me and i am feeling so sad don't know why


dont worry...you will heal


----------



## mjis

alone, dissappointed, anxious and like not doing anything at all to save myself


----------



## catcharay

:rain


----------



## NoHeart

****ing brilliant, I hope I'm not walking on a thin line here.


----------



## MoonForge

Overloaded ><


----------



## Charmander

Depressed. Seem to have cheered up for now at least..


----------



## GreenRoom

I can't communicate well and I don't know how I feel about that...


----------



## Twinkiesex

Like punching someone in the face.


----------



## ItsEasierToRun

Charmander said:


> Depressed. Seem to have cheered up for now at least..


 You're welcome  :lol


----------



## Surabhi

I just feel bored and want to go home. .. :-/


----------



## Nekomata

Tired <.<;


----------



## purplebutterfly




----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tense. Restless. Self Loathing. Lonely. Defective. Clueless


----------



## brooks1410

like a waste of space:|


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Annoyed.


----------



## Xtraneous

Tired.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Casually productive


----------



## LittleGloves

Horrible cause I can' take the scorching heat!


----------



## Freiheit

Bored and my head hurts a bit. It seems I'm spending way too much time on this site again because I'm done with school.


----------



## NoHeart

****ing horrible earlier, now I'm kind of okay again.


----------



## shelbster18

I feel like ripping my insides out and feeding them to ants and maggots.


----------



## typemismatch

i feel overwhelmed by the sense that life is just this thing. and that's all it is.


----------



## laura024

Physically ill but madly in love


----------



## SuicideSilence

distressed


----------



## Loveless

I'm stoned aha


----------



## Jaycei01

I honestly feel like im having some serious issues but noone cares IMO..Ill just start that i have been back on deployment from afghanistan for about two years now and i've been going to school to finish my IT degree...I have studied and passed alot of certifications but what is so depressng in all of this is I cant find a job and i feel very worthless...all my friends left the state or married with kids..even my girlfriend motivates me but she does it in the wrong way..


----------



## Lish3rs

Starting to get sleepy.. Very sleepy. I am pretty chill.


----------



## renegade disaster

blah


----------



## Heyyou

Super bored, nothing is going on, usually I can count on the crazy people outside to keep me entertained but even they have better things to do today. Usually it's like freakin Jerry Springer out there :sigh


----------



## InimitableJeeves

A bit defeated for the moment.


----------



## NoHeart

Bored, also kinda stressed out about something, but mostly just bored.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Befuddled


----------



## Puppet Master

Sick
Depressed
Beyond pissed off


----------



## sas111

Worthless


----------



## Daveyboy

I feel unfittable everywhere.........


----------



## wiggibow

Content.
there's a voice in the back of my mind asking why I'm not doing anything with my weekend or my day off (i work nights[early mornings]) when my friends are certainly out doing something; but I'm currently ignoring it.


----------



## Zatch

Miserable. Beginning to feel like I've done all that I was meant to do in my life. I have a killer headache coming on right now, and premature regret is making me not want to post this. Sure hope my days get better.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

A bit sad


----------



## Twinkiesex

Like I need drugs.


----------



## Tink76

Angry and frustrated. Husband is late home from work and hasn't bothered to call to tell me what's going on. Also toddler is having a tantrum and refusing to eat dinner.


----------



## NoHeart

Bored, anxious and depressed.


----------



## RoseWhiteRoseRed

depressed


----------



## noyadefleur

So stressed. I have such a headache.


----------



## Raphael200

Like I am already used to all the lonely voices in my head.


----------



## cosmicslop

I feel like I felt too much today. I am emotionally drained.


----------



## Heyyou

A little miffed, no...a lot miffed, when I get miffed I sometimes rip into whatever's miffing me(My miffed rampages can be vicious) and then I feel bad so I'm just gonna calm down. 
Just reading over this sentence makes me feel better.


----------



## GreenRoom

a bit sad, I'm eating a sandwich so im feeling better.


----------



## Twinkiesex

Bipolar.


----------



## Nekomata

Annoyed and wary. Some people are complete asses... seriously... usually the people closest too you too.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

a bit sad again.


----------



## boundforglorywt

Meh.


----------



## GreenRoom

f***ing sick. caught a cold whilst fishing in the rain. Now my nose is so blocked I can't even breathe properly. so frustrated that I'm not my normal self. argh


----------



## catcharay

Relief and I want to pig out on marshmallows right about now!


----------



## QuietSoul

Sad/Depressed/Stressed :no


----------



## Sacrieur

I will do all the things!


----------



## Und3rground

Agitated


----------



## TryingMara

Annoyed + melancholy.


----------



## mfd

Past couple days I've felt like I'm waiting for something imminent to happen, but I don't know what. 

It's just this air of expectation. As though I don't want to start anything big because "it" is going to happen at any moment, and whatever I started will get disrupted.

But I have no idea what "it" is.

I get this feeling a lot :sigh


----------



## Mur

Sleepy


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Freezing. It's so cold in here


----------



## losteternal

This is the worst i've felt in ages, so down.I
Feel terrible


----------



## Revenwyn

****ty.


----------



## intheshadows

meh...


----------



## arnie

:rain


----------



## Sacrieur

Ill.

Like, sick ill.

I detest feeling this way so much. I think there is a special place in Hell where I will eternally feel like sinuses and tonsils are about to explode with fever chills... Just for me. Because I really hate this. If I didn't already study medicine I would just to figure out how to make it end.

Crashing into the pavement? Alright I'm fine.

Breaking a bone? Meh.

Feeling sick? Oh dear god make it stop.

---

In fact I drug myself to oblivion just to feel better. I would rather vomit blood from ibuprofen overdose than feel sick. My liver is probably going to strangle me when I get older from the sheer amount of acetaminophen I dump into my system.

I just want a ketamine induced coma until I feel better.

I am contemplating ripping out my tonsils as I speak.


----------



## ItsEasierToRun

Depressed.. Very, very depressed..
Don't want to live on this planet anymore..
Wish I'd never been born at all.. 
I actually wish the world would've ended in 2012 :cry


----------



## Bigmo

Very cheerful


----------



## cybernaut

Sick. I have a sinus infection.


----------



## Sacrieur

ratherunique11 said:


> Sick. I have a sinus infection.


I feel your pain.

Have some drugs.


----------



## PickleNose

Right now? A little queasy but at absolute peace.


----------



## Raphael200

I am like a rainy day today,just cool and grey with a rainbow afterwards.


----------



## Chieve

Like ****


----------



## dontwaitupforme

:b


----------



## Revenwyn

Ugly.


----------



## Spritz11

Unloved. #EmoSwag


----------



## Lain

.


----------



## lost91

I feel lost


----------



## Malek

Nervous. The calm before the storm, nervous.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy


----------



## Canucklehead

Drunk


----------



## renegade disaster

weird. like people think i'm a square peg in a round hole or something.


----------



## boundforglorywt

nearing the end of the battle.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Depressed, distrustful and anti-social.


----------



## renegade disaster

I feel like i'm supposed to be sleeping.... its not really happening though.
I don't even feel sleepy tired yet, which is unusual because these meds have been making me go straight to sleep an hour or so after dosing. i'm guessing its probably because I had too much SoCo and coke earlier, or i'm adjusting to this medication? still feel I could drink the rest of the SoCo bottle.


----------



## DarrellLicht

Apprehensive. Going to look at a remodeled manufactured home with detached garage tomorrow. The more I read about it, the more I want it. 

The guy is finishing up the remodel, and is currently living in the garage.. Hopefully my bank should have no problem giving me the $$$$..


----------



## renegade disaster

moroff said:


> Apprehensive. Going to look at a remodeled manufactured home with detached garage tomorrow. The more I read about it, the more I want it.
> 
> The guy is finishing up the remodel, and is currently living in the garage.. Hopefully my bank should have no problem giving me the $$$$..


hope it all goes well mate. i'd love to move out of where I live right now.


----------



## DarrellLicht

renegade disaster said:


> hope it all goes well mate. i'd love to move out of where I live right now.


I hear that. Apartment living is for the birds..


----------



## coffeeandflowers

I am feeling pretty good today. Have been getting some positive attention at work. Feels nice


----------



## GreenRoom

lonely


----------



## SupaDupaFly

To be honest.. I don't know how i am feeling anymore. I feel like i lost touch with reality and feel like im just floating somewhere that i don't know.


----------



## boundforglorywt

SupaDupaFly said:


> To be honest.. I don't know how i am feeling anymore. I feel like i lost touch with reality and feel like im just floating somewhere that i don't know.


I'm with you on this.


----------



## cybernaut

Tired. I'm drugged up.


----------



## rawrguy

Tired (in a good way)


----------



## Lipizzan

depressed and tired


----------



## InimitableJeeves

I feel ok, a bit of cabin fever maybe.


----------



## WhatBITW

Pretty ****ty. Sucks because I'd been so much more positive for the last half a year.


----------



## vanishingpt

A bit stressed. God a midterm coming up soon, but I'm glad I got my assignments done much quicker than I expected. Very pleased with the results as well.

Now I just have to get my notes and readings together before tomorrow lol. Oddly enough I feel somewhat relaxed as well.

Just feels like there's a lot going on but it definitely wasn't as bad as before. I'd say this is a good thing  for the most part.


----------



## hopeless93

Socially anxious


----------



## catcharay

Sleepy but i'm trying to steer clear from napping. Usually i feel like napping daily for 2 hrs. It has always been a problem - its frustrating cos i'm missing out on jolly life


----------



## millenniumman75

Tired - I have to be in bed in 30 minutes. A LOOOONG day tomorrow!


----------



## MoonForge

Tired and sick, and i don't feel good at all and i'm alone today :/


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Stressed because I don't have the equipment I need to do this project.


----------



## IveGotToast

Like a Rat In A Cage


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Depressed. Despondent. Disheveled.


----------



## Sacrieur




----------



## shelbster18

Angry with rage, sad, and I wish the end of the world really did happen.


----------



## PandaBearx

kind of sad and numbish


----------



## ApathyDivine

All right for the moment, been feeling pretty sullen and cranky lately though


----------



## Kalliber

Lonely and sick. ...


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Pretty good coming down from the exercise high, still pretty rotten mentally/emotionally though


----------



## PandaBearx

uncomfortable


----------



## Brad

Annoyed


----------



## Raphael200

Sick,I have flu.


----------



## yna

Feeling very lazy. Don't want to do anything today. >_<


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Rather sleepy since I didn't sleep much last night.


----------



## BillDauterive

Warm and stuffy, damn these long, hot Texas summers.


----------



## mfd

I'm feeling all muggy. It's only 23C here (around 73F) but I find anything over 20 to be uncomfortable.

Thankfully it's going to drop to mid-teens tomorrow. I can't wait for summer to be over and winter to arrive.


----------



## TryingMara

Got a second wind.


----------



## zomgz

Whimsical!


----------



## Jay M

I feel... tired and bored. :L


----------



## Twinkiesex

I actually feel ok today...despite being slightly hungover on a Thursday morning.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy


----------



## Lipizzan

sad and lonely


----------



## PandaBearx

Sick...can cough drops make your throat worse b/c I think mine are.


----------



## TryingMara

Bad, as usual. Like there's some kind of heavy weight strapping me down. It's difficult to do anything.


----------



## Tabula_Rasa

Really ****ty. I want to get my life back so bad.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Anxious, too anxious to sleep for some reason.


----------



## SnowFlakesFire

Artistic


----------



## baby trans boy

Bloom


----------



## CW1985

Bored as usual.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

High. Insulated. Numb.


----------



## Nekomata

Very tentative about tomorrow, and putting something off that also has to be done by tomorrow, so pretty depressed about it all...


----------



## NoHeart

Sleepy.


----------



## renegade disaster

throat feels a bit weird ,i've been smoking too much recently.

overall I feel content and ok. some financial worries have been cleared from my mind.


----------



## Carcamo

Feeling lonely, depressed, disappointed. 
Wish I can make a change...


----------



## Nekomata

Annoyed, indigestion kicking in as usual.


----------



## Twinkiesex

Lonely.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry. Depressed.


----------



## Xenos

A little drunk.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Fine.


----------



## asphodel

I'm antsy tonight. Trying to relax enough to sleep.


----------



## Rosaletta

Worried about next school year and about a message I sent to a teacher... a bit discouraged today.


----------



## Nojz

I'm feeling quite alright today. Planning to spend the day curled up on the sofa, catch up on season five of Breaking Bad, and eat watermelon.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Optimistic and pretty energetic.. Not complaining at all


----------



## Owl-99

dontwaitupforme said:


> Optimistic and pretty energetic.. Not complaining at all


Go get em girl. :b


----------



## dontwaitupforme

tannasg said:


> Go get em girl. :b


Cheers tan!


----------



## D0M1N1K

I just want to get out of the house, but I don't wanna face people ugh


----------



## TryingMara

Uncomfortable.


----------



## markwalters2

Sexy.


----------



## TryingMara

Lonely, bored and sleepy.


----------



## ScaredViking

Surprised / confident (for the moment). 

I was out shopping, and walked around awkwardly as usually. A young couple was shopping in the same areas as me about the same time (not a big shop), and I noticed how overprotective her boyfriend became, when he noticed me. I guess my weight loss/little workout helped on this front. 

I am getting worried that I am undereating though ... So, goodbye confident.


----------



## Raphael200

Hopeful : )


----------



## RelinquishedHell

I feel like sh*t as usual. I have this constant disgusting mixed feeling of dread, depression, and mental exhaustion that never goes away.


----------



## SnowFlakesFire

:mum


----------



## alenclaud

In need of friendship


----------



## extremly

anxious as hell


----------



## ScaredViking

Lonely, tired (and the weather isn't helping)


----------



## PandaBearx

Drained


----------



## Raphael200

Regular.


----------



## xgodmetashogun

gonorrhea


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Manic Depressive


----------



## warrior4488

Sad, lonely, scared, unloved, helpless & hopeless !


----------



## NoHeart

Tired, also bored.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Homesick


----------



## BelowtheCurrent

Not too good, found a white hair on my head yesterday.


----------



## Revenwyn

Life is not a gift. It's purgatory.


----------



## PsyKat

STRESSED as heck, beyond panicking today. Event coming up tonight.


----------



## Mur

Meh


----------



## AlchemyFire

Bored. Doing school work right now but taking a quick SAS break, just because I can.


----------



## renegade disaster

I got one of those headaches coming on at the front of my head. those sort of ones that you get from laying down flat for too long. I overslept last night and have been flat on the sofa for a good few hours. hoping it doesn't trigger another migraine that makes me feel sick. I could do without that right now


----------



## Raphael200

Like a bloody coward.


----------



## cybernaut

Worthless


----------



## mike stuart

so i am supposed to post how i feel ? 
well , actually very bad and thats why i joined here  
and i got this feeling like my problems just wont be solved .


----------



## asphodel

Sick and sore, but better now that I have orange juice.


----------



## alenclaud

Like someone's got a boot at my throat.


----------



## TryingMara

A little better than I have been feeling lately. Feel a bit more confident and I'm not hating my physical self as much, which is a welcome change. Even the usual triggers didn't set me off.


----------



## mustangsally

*Sad*

Having one of those days where I feel like I cant do anything right, and I cant stop crying. Its so frustrating!!


----------



## Chieve

Tired but in a good way, I went to the gay pride parade I'm the city and it was a lot of fun, now im just taking the train home because I'm tired...


----------



## shelbster18

I'm ****ing furiated! :mum:mum:mum:mum:mum


----------



## TryingMara

Not bad.


----------



## shelbster18

I feel like tearing my skin off and stomping on it. :/


----------



## Nunuc

No sher, ****lock!
Awwgrrr, tired, but can't sleep :bash :bash :bash :bash :bash


----------



## Auroras

Feeling content :yes


----------



## foe

Sometimes everything is wrong


----------



## Hersheyfan98

Off an on nausea. With a side of mouth pain :/


----------



## RiversEdge

I'm feeling good.
There was a long stretch of months that I haven't and I'm just happy to be alive and enjoying simple things like going for walks and feeling the sun on my skin.
It just feels nice, thankful for the change.


----------



## Nono441

Pretty bad at the moment. But summer's coming up so hopefully the sun will cheer me up (yeahright)


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Like defective trash.


----------



## ericalynnxx

Tired and bored. Frustrated with the keys on my laptop keyboard.


----------



## rdrr

Hanging in there.


----------



## Moceanu

Hardly anything, really. 

Hardly happy, hardly sad, I can't really narrow it down to one. 

If anything though I'd be mostly sad.


----------



## Kalliber

Sad..feeling in bad in my heart as they say. Just want a friend .-.


----------



## Bawsome

im feeling really ache and tired, keep getting sad about it but im still happy.


----------



## Schmilsson

Incredibly lonely :rain


----------



## Winterwalk

Depression is sneaking up on me.


----------



## Derailing

Feeling sleepy, tired, lethargic, you know....that feeling where you could curl up into a ball and just hide in the corner of the room all day long so you could be alone.


----------



## ToeSnails

Feeling excited to see how this site will be on a friday night.
I bet the drama will be slightly more amusing than usual


----------



## Nekomata

Bored, annoyed about tomorrow and tired.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Rostagin said:


> Incredibly lonely :rain


:squeeze


----------



## MysteriousH

Sleepy and frustrated :roll


----------



## T Studdly

Anxious about seeing my therapist tomarrow and bored and annoyed that I can't fall asleep.


----------



## Bawsome

Excited because im heading home for the week end, i miss the quietness of the country side so much!


----------



## NoHeart

Sleepless, once again it is 9 AM and I'm still up.


----------



## Tibble

Erick17 said:


> Sad..feeling in bad in my heart as they say. Just want a friend .-.


I am your friend :>


----------



## Tibble

I've just arrived at work and I'm feeling anxious. Shaking a little bit. Trying to remain calm.


----------



## Kalliber

Tibble said:


> I am your friend :>


 of course you are my brother :3 my bad sorta felt bad yesterday


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tense, tired, & mildly depressed/lonely


----------



## Lipizzan

i feel like death


----------



## InimitableJeeves

I feel sleepy.


----------



## Devdas

Feeling anxious because my results are going to be published. :afr


----------



## Nekomata

Sad. *sigh*


----------



## livingeasy

I am happy


----------



## zomgz

Like I want to go to an underground punk rock show, do a **** ton of cocaine and get into a fight.


----------



## Lil Sebastian

zomgz said:


> Like I want to go to an underground punk rock show, do a **** ton of cocaine and get into a fight.


This comment fits very well with my current avatar.


----------



## Auroras

I am feeling generally happy but slightly bothered that I'm spending too much of my time on SAS. Doesn't every newbie? :stu


----------



## shelbster18

Sleepy and I've been depressed lately. :[ Well, more depressed than usual.


----------



## zomgz

shelbster18 said:


> Sleepy and I've been depressed lately. :[ Well, more depressed than usual.


:squeeze


----------



## Lipizzan

Auroras said:


> I am feeling generally happy but slightly bothered that I'm spending too much of my time on SAS. Doesn't every newbie? :stu


:yes


----------



## Lipizzan

i feel like hurting myself. hopefully hanging out with a friend will change that


----------



## loneranger

I felt like crying earlier today remembering my past and current issues like my now almost severe Social Anxiety.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & disappointed with myself & life


----------



## Tibble

Nekomata said:


> Sad. *sigh*


*cuddle*


----------



## Freiya

pissed I lost my best friend who's turned into a jerk >:[


----------



## Nunuc

I feel really tired and depressed atm. Can't focus on anything.


----------



## Chappy02

Pissed off


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious, restless, worried, stressed


----------



## Consider

F*ckin A1 tip top mint


----------



## alieneyed

Pissed off at BK for burning my sweet potato fries. The f u c k is wrong with you people.


----------



## Jsin94

I can't seem to pinpoint a word for how I feel. It's that bad.


----------



## Winterwalk

Gwaenyc said:


> I feel really tired and depressed atm. Can't focus on anything.


This is me exactly.


----------



## laura024

Stressed.


----------



## Still Waters

Aggravated,pulled into a bunch of whiny slop that is utterly pointless! I think I'll go take a nice nap.


----------



## moonlite

Sick and tired.


----------



## Emme11

I am feeling like my life is going nowhere & that its because I am so boring


----------



## Mousey9

Pretty good, just got back from the outside world.
Bought food, smoked, fed some birds, relaxed under a tree, while listening to Oasis all by myslef.
Now i'm going to spend all night playing telltales walking dead.

Life is so much more tolerable when you keep it simple and dont tailor to fit into mainstream society's lifestyle.


----------



## ItsEasierToRun

Perplexed O_O



infamous93 said:


> Pretty good, just got back from the outside world.
> Bought food, smoked, fed some birds, relaxed under a tree, while listening to Oasis all by myslef.
> Now i'm going to spend all night playing telltales walking dead.
> 
> Life is so much more tolerable when you keep it simple and dont tailor to fit into mainstream society's lifestyle.


That was..... Beautiful..


----------



## HappyFriday

I feel relaxed. I love it when its raining.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Consider said:


> ****in A1 tip top mint


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Same ****, different smell.


----------



## Chappy02

Like ****


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & tense/sore. May have a cold coming on as well


----------



## Tibble

This is all becoming pointless now..


----------



## TryingMara

Sleepy, but ok otherwise.


----------



## Nunuc

Werry bad. Every day seems to be worse than previous.


----------



## Downtheroad

like I got hit in the face with a hammer


----------



## Nekomata

Crap, angry, despairing.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lightly faded


----------



## Kalliber

Been a bit better


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Impassioned and overwhelmed.


----------



## livingeasy

People be happy! We just have one life and we should enjoy that.....

http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-be-happy-and-enjoy-the-life


----------



## Bawsome

refreshed after an incredible week end.


----------



## JNM

Looking forward to something so kind of happy right now but I know after it ill feel really depressed because I have no life and summer is going to end soon so my SA will only get worse AND ill have nothing to look forward to for a while


----------



## shelbster18

Sad, longing for someone, and giving up on stuff in general.


----------



## Zerix

sunday blues times a million....


----------



## Nunuc

I feel like :blah and :troll and :twisted


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Good & faded now


----------



## intheshadows

Depressed by the news (75% of a young family died tragically...)


----------



## Raphael200

Pretty okay.


----------



## holyfires

Hungry.

Hungry is a feeling.

Also a bit down, but maybe food will cheer me up a bit when it's ready.

Woo.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Very horny for some reason.


----------



## Nekomata

Full up and kinda sad.


----------



## Consider

I feel like not even all this Xanax can cheer me up. I feel like the guy who gets told "hey, man, nice shot." I feel like a fish in the water born without gills. 

I feel like me and that's so problematic that solutions may need drawing up.


----------



## Zack

Like crap, only crap with sick in it.


----------



## Nunuc

Can't focus on anything but crying.


----------



## HappyFriday

I feel very giggly at this moment in timez.


----------



## alenclaud

Proud of my dog: he caught a rat. No cats are needed in my house, at least for that purpose .


----------



## Valtron

Hopeful. Might get a job at a dog kennel.


----------



## TryingMara

Nervous.


----------



## holyfires

Pissed off.


Job centre on Wednesday, because apparently applying for ESA is a waste of time, so I didn't bother and I'm being _forced_ to look for a job.
Therapist on Thursday, we have to do a role-play thing that is getting recorded so I can watch it and see how I am reacting to talking to a stranger.
Everyone seems to think that social anxiety is just being "shy" and I'm too pissed off to explain it to people properly. Even my therapist called me "shy" and I don't know HOW to bring it up with her.
:no


----------



## foe

I was at the Asian grocery store today and saw two really hot white girls shopping there.

That made me feel good and sad. Good feeling to see beautiful women. 
Sad feeling because I don't know how to approach them.


----------



## Ells

I feel spiritual. Just stayed till fajr


----------



## shelbster18

I feel awesome that I've completely given up on society. There's no point in having friends because most likely, they won't have SA and won't be able to understand my problems. They won't make me any happier. There's no point in worrying about that ****. Same with being in a relationship. I like it much better this way. Not having to worry about a damn thing. Oh, and I feel really nervous about this plan of mine that I came up with. I hope it works.


----------



## wallenstein

Hungry and sad.


----------



## Nunuc

Derpressed.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Stressed to the max!


----------



## T Studdly

Bored and unmotivated


----------



## Schmilsson

Hopeful.


----------



## App

Crap (Just had a seizure!)


----------



## JadedSoldier

Anxious and sleepy. I'm not doing anything productive today, going to ride this day out.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tense, stressed, restless


----------



## shelbster18

Pissed off and sad.


----------



## ApathyDivine

Im in a good mood tonight. Weekend is coming up, I just worked 6 days and have 2 more to go


----------



## justanotherbird

Fatigued, depressed, 
my heart feels broken into tiny little specks :C


----------



## tea111red

Wound up.


----------



## MoonForge

Very anxious for no reason at all :/


----------



## Soundboy

Anxious. Gotta go to a funeral later


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling as though I don't fit in my own body. Worst yet, I don't fit in society.. I don't belong here.

Sorry for getting emo on you.


----------



## intheshadows

Mixed emotions.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Slightly drunk, tired and sandy.


----------



## Consider

High enough to smirk


----------



## longwaytorun

I just got yelled at by my boss. Feeing kind of low right now


----------



## Nunuc

d10 decides how i feel (1-10)

Roll(1d10)+0:
10,+0
Total:*10*:troll

d10 knows nothing.


----------



## HappyFriday

longwaytorun said:


> I just got yelled at by my boss. Feeing kind of low right now


My former boss did that to me. I left. I say **** IT! You don't deserve to be treated like that. Yell at him back or laugh at him. Who does the **** does he thing he is? I rather be homeless than put up with a rude boss. I'd smack him across the face, rip his testicles off and shove it down his throat so he choke on it. Nippa mother****er.


----------



## vanilla90

I have a headache. Needs a cuddle 

Yet I'm also in very silly mood, take advantage folks.


----------



## HappyFriday

vanilla90 said:


> Needs a cuddle


*grabs vanilla90 around the waist and smooches*

Audience: :clap :boogie


----------



## vanilla90

HappyFriday said:


> *grabs vanilla90 around the waist and smooches*
> 
> Audience: :clap :boogie


*Takes a bow


----------



## jesica24

Today I feel like somebody with an incurable disease, waiting for the end and begining of the worst.


----------



## Nunuc

jesica24 said:


> Today I feel like somebody with an incurable disease, waiting for the end and begining of the worst.


----------



## jesica24

Thanks.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & sore both mentally & physically


----------



## Trigo

I feel like I'm about to have a mental breakdown, I can't take it anymore.


----------



## asphodel

Bored out of my mind. Half an hour until lunch and nothing but forums to entertain me; not enough time to do anything meaningful.


----------



## CosmosRose

I feel like I'm trapped in a vice. There's a repair guy in my house (just doing his job like he's supposed to). I'm hiding in my room until he goes away. Sad huh? I don't even want to be seen by him. :afr


----------



## Nunuc

Can't focus on anything, again.


----------



## Schmilsson

Disliked.


----------



## Spritz11

I just took a picture for my passport and I look exactly like my mum did at my age. It makes me feel so happy, in a melancholy way<3


----------



## Greenleaf62

I've had a headache for most of the day, but other than that I'm feeling alright.


----------



## shelbster18

I want to stay the **** away from society. I hate society. I just want to stay in my room and hide from all those ****ers. People are not worth my time at all. And I want to be poor. I'd rather live on the streets than have a stupid job. Jobs are so stupid. It's like we all have to spend most of our lives working 40 hours a week or more and having to deal with people and being stressed and depressed from it. I've never had a job and don't ever want one. **** that. I'm just going to be poor. When you're poor, you don't have to worry about a thing. I'll just look for food in garbage cans.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Indifferent


----------



## Chappy02

Fantastic!!!!


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Rostagin said:


> Disliked.


What? This is simply not true :hug


----------



## Nunuc

How do i feel, d10?

Roll(1d10)+0:
2,+0
Total:*2*

I agree.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed, depressed, luckless


----------



## vanilla90

In limbo, I can't even describe how I am feeling in these moods.


----------



## Tibble

mind is numb..
friend is probably dead now..cant save him..cant save anyone..so much sadness..its not fair..I tried though.


----------



## shelbster18

I was feeling good earlier and now I just feel a little down again.


----------



## Nunuc

How do I feel today, all-knowing d10?

Roll(1d10)+0:
4,+0
Total:*4*

Good boy, good boy! Have a cookie, d10!


----------



## KelsKels

shelbster18 said:


> I want to stay the **** away from society. I hate society. I just want to stay in my room and hide from all those ****ers. People are not worth my time at all. And I want to be poor. I'd rather live on the streets than have a stupid job. Jobs are so stupid. It's like we all have to spend most of our lives working 40 hours a week or more and having to deal with people and being stressed and depressed from it. I've never had a job and don't ever want one. **** that. I'm just going to be poor. When you're poor, you don't have to worry about a thing. I'll just look for food in garbage cans.


Ive thought about this before. That being homeless would be freeing. I keep thinking that having a normal life and working for years while being anxious every day, is just a form of prison. Hm. I don't know.


----------



## Trigo

KelsKels said:


> Ive thought about this before. That being homeless would be freeing. I keep thinking that having a normal life and working for years while being anxious every day, is just a form of prison. Hm. I don't know.


Yeah but scavenging for food and shelter all day everyday doesn't sound good either, just can't win.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Low


----------



## vanilla90

Feeling the need to drink, half heartedly fighting it.


----------



## shelbster18

KelsKels said:


> Ive thought about this before. That being homeless would be freeing. I keep thinking that having a normal life and working for years while being anxious every day, is just a form of prison. Hm. I don't know.


I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. Not that I want anyone to feel like this but it makes me feel less lonely. I think it would be more of a nightmare working while being anxious than being homeless. I'm just a mess. I don't have the patience for people and my anger issues are really bad. I just wonder if all of that is really worth it. It would be nice if I could just teleport to a forest somewhere with a waterfall.


----------



## iamthatiam




----------



## Noll

vanilla90 said:


> Feeling the need to drink, half heartedly fighting it.


we could drink together and listen to The Smashing Pumpkins.


----------



## low

Like a trodden 6 week old flattened piece of crap on the pavement.


----------



## vanilla90

Noll said:


> we could drink together and listen to The Smashing Pumpkins.


We should set up a campifre, drink booze and pop downers while telling tales of how terrible our lives are. Marshmallows too.


----------



## Noll

vanilla90 said:


> We should set up a campifre, drink booze and pop downers while telling tales of how terrible our lives are. Marshmallows too.


sounds like a plan... an amazing one.


----------



## Nunuc

d10, roll yourself!

Roll(1d10)+0:
7,+0
Total:*7*

Reroll!

Roll(1d10)+0:
4,+0
Total:*4*

Reroll!

Roll(1d10)+0:
7,+0
Total:*7*

Reroll!

Roll(1d10)+0:
2,+0
Total:*2*

Good boy, d10! Good boy!


----------



## ChaoticSoul

Stuck, complexed, depressed, sad... i'm a fkin emotional wreck.


----------



## HappyFriday

I feel like a flamingo!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Not sure how to describe this state, mixed bag I suppose


----------



## TheDaffodil

I'm feeling frustrated that I can't seem to connect with anyone...like really _connect_. I remember that rush of excitement I'd get in the past, learning about someone new (or someone old who I just didn't know well) - experiencing that moment of "oh ****, this is going somewhere!" I haven't had that in so long and I don't know what I did before to get it. I want it back.


----------



## Glass Child

I'm doing okay. I'm trying to avoid thinking about the negatives in my life right now and just work on getting better, it is good to have some motivation again.


----------



## turtle boogie

Lol I doubt anyone will read this...

I am scared to try to lift my next amounts of weights, seeing as the last time I lifted so much was about a year ago.
I feel angry about not being able to lift the amount of weight I was able to just two weeks before after taking a week off.

I am afraid that I won't be able to go into the profession that I've wanted to get into for the past two years despite passing the qualifying tests because of my GPA and hard-to-pronounce name (supposedly HR in many offices pass up resumes of applicants with rare names in favor of more familiar names 33% of the time, making it count more than most other attributes)
I am angry at myself for being too nervous to apply to these jobs despite this having been my goal for so many years, out of fear of messing up the application, or the follow ups.
I feel good about the next qualifying test for my goal profession.

I feel angry that I forgot so many songs on the guitar, also from a lack of practice.
I am delighted that my improv skills improved and my technical skills on guitar are relatively intact.

I am angry at myself for being so nervous about talking to people that I KNOW want to hear from me that I end up avoiding or taking forever to reply or keep people posted, and end up being rude.
I feel good that I learned how to solve every puzzle I've been presented with recently (knock on wood)
I am happy that I will be seeing my two friends soon for the first time in years/months and that I'll be on vacation though I'm a little annoyed that I won't be able to lift for this time.


----------



## HappyFriday

I'm tired ahahaha brain feels like puke.


----------



## The Misery Chick

Oxygen-deprived.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

On a beer buzz at the moment


----------



## vanilla90

The best thing about having free gin, is almost certainly the free gin. Time to see how much I can neck before I drown the sadness.


----------



## The Misery Chick

Terribly confused.


----------



## shelbster18

Confused about something. :blank

What are the odds that the person above me is confused, too?


----------



## tony420

pretty buzzed i reconnected with my old love

rum


----------



## laura024

Crying because I'm physically fatigued and sick of everything going well then suddenly taking a turn for the worse. No one wants to hire me. No one wants to date me. I keep ****ing up friendships. I'm seeing a pattern here. The common denominator is me.


----------



## CoastalSprite

laura024 said:


> Crying because I'm physically fatigued and sick of everything going well then suddenly taking a turn for the worse. No one wants to hire me. No one wants to date me. I keep ****ing up friendships. I'm seeing a pattern here. The common denominator is me.


 :squeeze :squeeze


----------



## laura024

CoastalSprite said:


> :squeeze :squeeze


Thank you.


----------



## Earl of Lemongrab

laura024 said:


> Crying because I'm physically fatigued and sick of everything going well then suddenly taking a turn for the worse. No one wants to hire me. No one wants to date me. I keep ****ing up friendships. I'm seeing a pattern here. The common denominator is me.


Sorry to hear this, but for the future - I'd advise against trying to find dates online. I've never personally tried it, but it seems like this would be the wrong route to go for someone with SA - unless you manage to meet another guy with SA from a dating site, it probably wouldn't work out.


----------



## Wanderluster

Heart has been pounding through my chest for the last few hours, and will continue for the whole night. I receive results tomorrow for the final of three exams of a global finance designation. The test is offered once a year with pass rates of 30-50% each level. Having to study for this again and wait til next June would destroy my confidence.


----------



## CharmedOne

like why bother


----------



## cosmicslop

hungry. there is nothing worth eating in the kitchen. i've looked.


----------



## prettyful

angry


----------



## InimitableJeeves

I have a headache and I'm tired.


----------



## Kip92

I feel really dumped lol... I am just waiting patiently til I know for sure


----------



## Letmebe

Tired, brain won't sleep.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Minor headache


----------



## renegade disaster

I am feeling grateful for people offering me the kindness they have.


----------



## vanilla90

Sick to death of trying to be a nice guy all the time.


----------



## shelbster18

Trying to get someone's attention but this person is ignoring me. I feel like I'm being used as a backup and it's frustrating.


----------



## Drella

Just dandy! Though, now I'm disappointed in myself for using the term "dandy."


----------



## tea111red

bored and feel like being impulsive.


----------



## Glass Child

Not quite sure if I'm angry, amused, or some sort of gentler combination. I hate emotions like these. It is funny when you know you're being toyed with, all the same you can only dwell in your mind about such matter and wait for something to happen... or do something yourself.

Aha, I'm an idiot.


----------



## Auroras

A little anxious but nothing too bad.


----------



## CharmedOne

Eviscerated.


----------



## HappyFriday

vanilla90 said:


> Sick to death of trying to be a nice guy all the time.


NO MORE MR NICE GUY! I love that song.


----------



## cybernaut

High.


----------



## Noll

hungry.


----------



## HappyFriday

Noll said:


> hungry.


*Gives candy bar*


----------



## Noll

HappyFriday said:


> *Gives candy bar*


thank you :3


----------



## Canadian Brotha

The usual, rather depressed


----------



## HappyFriday

I feel very happy


----------



## shelbster18

I'm upset.


----------



## Schmilsson

Exhausted, I've barely slept the past two days.


----------



## SilentLyric

tired


----------



## The Misery Chick

Bland.


----------



## CoastalSprite

Frustrated, discouraged.


----------



## HappyFriday

I think I'm gonna barf


----------



## jcmp7754

I just smoked a bowl so I'm doing pretty nice lol


----------



## Greenleaf62

Empty.


----------



## Glass Child

Frustrated.


----------



## hellinnorway

Bored.


----------



## Auroras

I am feeling calm and good. Had a productive day. Members on the forums are nice, this puts me in a good mood. The conversation I had with my mom today went well. Reconnecting with old friends again. Overall - no drama. Life is good (for now).


----------



## Kalliber

bored, bit sad and nervous


----------



## nml

like a total dick. It wasn't even my fault this time. Gah.


----------



## probably offline

Like the positivity I felt yesterday is fading with every minute, and I need to do something _fast_ to hold on to it.


----------



## Gizamalukeix

If I was feeling okay I don't think I'd even be here.


----------



## PandaBearx

Baffled


----------



## NightAtSydney

Calm, yet slightly anxious.


----------



## vanilla90

Seasick  EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT ON A BOAT ANYMORE FFS


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Stuffy/runny nose, tense muscles, mildly restless, lonesome, alienated


----------



## Nekomata

Angry, hateful, tired and nervous.


----------



## mesmerize

like absolute **** 
i just fel off skating btw


----------



## PandaBearx

Cra*tastic


----------



## shelbster18

Feeling somewhat better today but still worried. :/ I'm just going to hide from my dad for awhile. Not like I don't do that anyways. I also feel like I'm the only girl that literally has no friends and hasn't had any in years in person. But I've given up on finding friends, so it doesn't really matter to me.


----------



## Chortle

Like I should be more productive, haha.


----------



## hellinnorway

I feel great.


----------



## Auroras

A bit frustrated. I got a lot done today but the one thing I wanted to "fix" is giving me problems. Grrr!


----------



## MoonForge

Sad and tired because i'm having a lot of pain :/ I'll survive though, but its just not fun.


----------



## Glass Child

Sick honestly.


----------



## Unkn0wn Pleasures

Ashamed and annoyed at myself. I slept 'till lunch time, am yet to shower or even brush my teeth, let alone do some much overdue study or grocery shopping. This is yesterday (and all my days off in the past month) all over again.


----------



## Sacrieur

Bang.


----------



## Malek

Sleepy yet unable to rest, grr.


----------



## markwalters2

itchy


----------



## Tomfoolery

Nostalgic. And I don't like it.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious


----------



## To22

Not good at all





not good at all

this headache needs to get another job


----------



## meepie

I feel like this song now:


----------



## c222

I am feeling tired. Not because I didn't sleep. I hate feeling tired even though I slept 9 hours. Its the worse feeling.


----------



## Ventura

Anxious.


----------



## Raphael200

Terrible.


----------



## sylvansy

Excited in the most negative way that is possible.

I'll have to go to a kind of "open-air disco" tonight because two friends of mine (twins) want to celebrate their birthday there. I really don't want to go there, but, well, it's their 18th birthday, they will reach adulthood, this is something very special and I would have a bad conscience if I said that I won't come. 

Everything inside me is screaming "nooo!", but well... :flush


----------



## shelbster18

Like I'm in a parallel universe. Do guys really like girls that treat them like crap? I always thought it was the other way around.


----------



## Sacrieur

Powerful and motivated.


----------



## PandaBearx

I'm feeling pretty sleepy


----------



## leonardess

flat and numb. like i have no feelings at all, just a low hum of.... something, I don't know what. 

for two months i have had no texting, no emailing, no chasing, no flirting, no dating, no profiles, no contact, no acting, no nothing. just one good friend, and workmates whom I adore (in a healthy way). 

I have been snapping myself out of my obsessive thinking whenever i catch myself indulging in it - most of the time. 

I feel.....dead.


----------



## alienbird

I feel... strange right now. 
Also... sort of excited...


----------



## Yer Blues

Meh


----------



## keyth

feeling blank


----------



## OtherBrain

Feel like crying today for no reason in particular. Any suggestions for what a person should do when they feel like crying?


----------



## cosmicslop

Anxious, excited. You don't know how invested I am in Breaking Bad when I first saw it in 2010, and kept up with discussion all over the internet, listening to the insider podcast, etc. I'm going to feel empty once it's over like a lot of other BB fans.


----------



## Transmission1991

I feel scared


----------



## Glass Child

People are idiots woww... I'm laughing so hard, but I'm amazed by this point. This is awfully humorous.


----------



## Kalliber

angry about skype
<_<
>_>


----------



## PandaBearx

Irrational and anxious


----------



## False Protagonist

I feel... like something good might happen but I don't want to get my hopes up because I don't want to be disappointed.


----------



## dassad

Tired, and nervous.


----------



## leftnips

Sick!


----------



## Bluemonster366

Upset, confused, anxious and kinda excited


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Hungover, anxious, upset, angry, f ucked over.


----------



## MoonForge

A bit lonely to be honest.


----------



## Trigo

Dead inside.


----------



## loneranger

Lonely.


----------



## shelbster18

Lonely because I don't have a pet. I should tell my mom that it would make me happier if I got one. Even then, she wouldn't let me have one because she says that my dad doesn't want a cat in the house. **** him and what he wants. She takes his side on everything. Does she not understand that it would help me out? Does she not understand that it would make me happier? Does she not understand that maybe I wouldn't be so depressed if I had one? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that bull**** out. I mean, why does she have to do everything to make him happy but when it comes to me, she wouldn't do the same? This woman is just unbelievable on so many levels. I'm going to tell her tomorrow that I won't a cat because I'm a depressed lonely ******* that doesn't have anything going for me. I'm going to tell her the truth, then see what she says. If she says the same thing, I give up on having a special bond with her forever. Not like she wants to talk to me anyways. She'd rather talk to my sister that seems like she's this perfect person that has everything going for her. She never gets mad at her. :roll


----------



## Starry30

Bored, tired and lonely.


----------



## Nunuc

Horny :blush


----------



## ieromance

sad, my friend was complaining about having 'weird' people having crushes on her and it made me realise ive never has anyone ask me out, tell me they have a crush on me or go out with me. i dont even want a boyfriend, but i feel so undesirable and ugly :3


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry. Restless. Tired


----------



## Noll

emotionally dutifull, and it's a good thing i'm being helped, probably non-intentionally. it will make me feel better in the end, to erase you.


----------



## Nekomata

Bored. That's about it really. And curious and excited about this anime and on another forum. Conflicted about real life things that I'm taking my mind off of.


----------



## DubnRun

the world is ****ed up, running backwards and those that don't see it see those that do as crazy, even though they are. People are reaching a new level of retard. The gormless braindead ****s have the easier life. Enjoy your pathetic roundabout life. We all get ****ed


----------



## TryingMara

Very tired.


----------



## Odinn

Feeling... okay-ish because of Tennis and a thoughtful post here on SAS.
Still really insecure and really worried and really depressed.


----------



## inerameia

Dead meat on the streets... meaning I'm garbage.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Tired, depressed, and lonely as usual.


----------



## TenYears

Low. I could not feel any worse. Completely hopeless.


----------



## IllusionOfHappiness

Lonely :\


----------



## Glass Child

I want to kill someone ^^ Just get all of my anger out.. 

No but in all seriousness, not very well whatsoever. Just going to say it now; I am the stupidest little thing ever when it comes to feeling anything besides dull and lifeless.

I just want to rid myself of all emotion and be done with it. I want to hide in a corner and bury myself in shadows until no one can find me again. I'm done.

I'm either going to hurt myself or someone else from all of this pent up frustration.


----------



## Auroras

REALLY good.

Hope tomorrow is the same.


----------



## love is like a dream

First day without coffee , headache but I feel overall not bad , also done!


----------



## Schmilsson

RelinquishedHell said:


> Tired, depressed, and lonely as usual.


:squeeze


----------



## Nunuc

Coincidence said:


> First day without coffee , headache but I feel overall not bad , also done!


Good luck with that :cup


----------



## Marakunda

.


----------



## love is like a dream

Gwaenyc said:


> Good luck with that :cup


Thanks  , thank you very much!


----------



## shelbster18

I'm just tired of seeing all these people with pets when I can't even get one. It's not fair. I could at least have something my way for once.


----------



## TryingMara

Guilty. I should have went with my mom for moral support, regardless of what I believe.


----------



## Nitrogen

Terribly tired and neutral.


----------



## IllusionOfHappiness

Annoyed


----------



## noyadefleur

Ugly and fat and sad.


----------



## alkeith

idk anymore


----------



## elektrified

Sad and lonely to be completely honest. I'm just thinking back to all the "relationships" I put wasted time into.


----------



## Derailing

Lonely & missing my ex-boyfriend (whom I think I still have feelings for...) I wish we ended on better terms than this.


----------



## popeet

like coffee and a warm shower will fix all my problems.


----------



## MoonForge

Exhausted and dull thanks to my awesome medication.


----------



## Nunuc

Tired. Had an appointment with a psychiatrist. He recommended ECT to treat my depression. Woohoo!


----------



## Introspect

frustrated with my body clock routine. i've been awake since 5am, its a little too early for me. i should at least be happy that i'm not staying up all night - but im frustrated because i want to watch horror films at night. i keep feeling to sleepy by 9pm.


----------



## AffinityWing

Cynical.
Also kind of anxious because I'm leaving my grandparents' in 2 days to go back home. Summer feels like it went by too fast.


----------



## Nekomata

Slightly tired and thoughtful.


----------



## Kalliber

sorta baddish DX


----------



## TryingMara

Down and sad.


----------



## Glass Child

goodgoodgood


----------



## Blue Wolf

It's bucketing down rain here, but im still in high spirits!


----------



## ShonMillre

I have this hole inside me, and I'm working on being entirely hollow cause it's a lot less work then filling the hole with love or stuf


----------



## SuperSky

Unreasonably angry.


----------



## Consider

Just peachy, yeah?


----------



## Pierre1

same old if thats even a mood.


----------



## T Studdly

Nervous


----------



## Archeron

Sad.


----------



## Anarchy

Very lonely....but also excited.


----------



## Malek

I'm trapped in this world... Lonely and fading...


----------



## Auroras

Productive


----------



## shelbster18

Very, very nervous and scared to death. :afr Just wish I could go back to the past or better yet, hide in the corner of my room. I'm so attached to my room.


----------



## The Misery Chick

Strung out.


----------



## Still Waters

I was feeling kinda of blah all day,but I've decided to go out and buy a couple of small surprises for someone I love. Stuff like that always gets me all jazzed up!


----------



## popeet

overexcited


----------



## Kalliber

been good


----------



## Nunuc

Derpressed.


----------



## keathlbr

*lonely*

I am feeling sad and lonely and missing the one person I loved in this world. It was my 4.5 year old grand niece and she has been taken away from me.


----------



## Zack

Wretched. I upset a friend about two weeks ago and he hasn't spoken to me since. I was drunk and had overdosed so I probably said some nasty things to him. He hasn't replied to my communications.


----------



## vanilla90

Feeling kind of good, but knowing my mood will change like a flash if anything bad happens.


----------



## Zatch

I feel like a won mirron dolla


----------



## Zack

vanilla90 said:


> Feeling kind of good, but knowing my mood will change like a flash if anything bad happens.


What should I do to get my friend back?


----------



## vanilla90

Steve-300 said:


> What should I do to get my friend back?


Depends, need context. Dunno how the friendship ended or why.


----------



## Nunuc

likeaspacemonkey said:


> I really feel like ****.


Me too.
Have a cookie:


----------



## laura024

Kinda lonely.


----------



## Nunuc

likeaspacemonkey said:


> Why thank you!


You're welcome...
When i'm feeling like ****, all my cookies are feeling and looking like ****.


----------



## ItsEasierToRun

I feel like I'm drunk on tiredness or something.. :lol Feels pretty good actually :b


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Very lonely, weird, and different.


----------



## shelbster18

Hoping that I'll get a dog because I had a dream today that I got one. I remember over a week ago, I had a dream about a cat and that same day, I went over to my sister's place to see her pets. I'm depressed. I need one. I can't have cats around here because it's a dangerous place for them. :/


----------



## meganmila

I kinda hate everything right now.


----------



## AxeDroid

I feel like fecal matter. I think I hurt someone on this "special" day. *sigh*


----------



## Nitrogen

lamentable


----------



## Auroras

Content and relaxed.


----------



## Owl-99

Annoyed for getting a cotton bud stuck in my ear.


----------



## Zatch

Amorous. Very amorous. Very, very, _very_ amorous. I want to let someone feel my warmth, my love, and make them immensely happy.


----------



## mjoy

I feel a bit sick right now, I think a flu is coming. *achoo* :blank


----------



## popeet

Lucky but unable to appreciate anything


----------



## vanilla90

Finished "Gone Home" after buying it on steam and seeing it get rave reviews. Fantastic game, lived up to expectations. Wonderful story.


----------



## popeet

vanilla90 said:


> Finished "Gone Home" after buying it on steam and seeing it get rave reviews. Fantastic game, lived up to expectations. Wonderful story.


oooh! i'm gonna play this. thanks for sharing.


----------



## vanilla90

popeet said:


> oooh! i'm gonna play this. thanks for sharing.


It's amazing, please don't read up anything about the story. It made me teary haha.


----------



## Zack

Sad because I lost a friend.


----------



## Zatch

Steve-300 said:


> Sad because I lost a friend.


:squeeze

I feel like I have a gaping hole in my chest after a dream I just had.


----------



## popeet

Steve-300 said:


> Sad because I lost a friend.


i'm really sorry to hear that, steve. sending you my sincere condolences and wishing you comfort.

vanilla, i absolutely won't read anything about the story beforehand, i can't stand spoiling games and movies that way. i want it to unfold before my eyes.


----------



## Kascheritt

Like, I'm about to snap.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Under the weather. But since the weather is in the sky, I guess it's normal.


----------



## Glass Child

Just fiiine


----------



## TryingMara

Exhausted and a little sick.


----------



## alienbird

I feel good. Tired... but good.


----------



## estse

Jaded and not eager to do much of anything.


----------



## cosmicslop

i'm tired with a headache.


----------



## lizzy19

so madly embarassed


----------



## Nanami

Tired, my stomach hurts b/c I just had coffee but that always happens...I don't think I could go to work w/o it though let alone get up in the morning. Other than that okay. I only work 3 1/2 hours today and hopefully I get out on time for once.


----------



## tilo brown eyes

I'm feeling hungry.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

How am I feeling?

Let's see. 

I don't want anything.

I feel like crap all the time.

I hate pretty much everything except for everything I can't have. But because you can't have what you can't have, I just feel disgusted when I think about any of the things I don't hate.

I don't much like people. I don't really hate people. I just find it's better for everyone if I avoid people as much as possible. Whenever I go near people, there is always tension and conflict will invariably break out if I am around them long enough. Sometimes they start it and sometimes I just can't let sleeping dogs lie. Either way, it's a waste of time and effort.

My head is pulsating. I'm not really sure why.


----------



## CharmedOne

Ill. Run down. Headachey. Exhausted. Depressed. Discouraged. Blehhhh....


----------



## Archeron

AxeDroid said:


> I feel like fecal matter. I think I hurt someone on this "special" day. *sigh*


Stop saying that! Seriously.So what if you hurt someone?It's not the end of the world and usually it's just happens. 
It doesn't mean you are a bad person. 
Sigh.


----------



## Archeron

Life is one big joke.And i don't get the punchline.


----------



## Archeron

likeaspacemonkey said:


> This smirking old ***** is.


The cold kiss of death,eh?Lovely.
The only certain thing in life.


----------



## shelbster18

Like a jerk. :rain


----------



## Auroras

Meh.


----------



## popeet

i feel like i don't know how i'm gonna get through the day.


----------



## Brainstorm

Like ****ing trash.


----------



## popeet

ok. 3 hours left. baby will sleep for at least a half hour longer.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tense. I need a full body stretch session. A bit depressed too


----------



## vanilla90

One of these moods again... The feeling when the alcohol hits the back of your throat ugh


----------



## AxeDroid

Confused and happy at the same time.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Doubtful, unhappy, unfulfilled, Slightly nihilistic. I feel like I'm working hard towards nothing.


----------



## TryingMara

Pretty ****ty.


----------



## shelbster18

I'm just a little sad. I'm starting to realize that being there for people online isn't good enough. I just wish there was more I could do. I want to be a forever friend but people keep disappearing.


----------



## TryingMara

shelbster18 said:


> I'm just a little sad. I'm starting to realize that being there for people online isn't good enough. I just wish there was more I could do. I want to be a forever friend but people keep disappearing.


It sucks when people come and go from your life. You sound like a very caring person and you probably did all that you could. Just wanting to be there and wishing you could do more probably means more than you know. That would mean a great deal to me.


----------



## shelbster18

TryingMara said:


> It sucks when people come and go from your life. You sound like a very caring person and you probably did all that you could. Just wanting to be there and wishing you could do more probably means more than you know. That would mean a great deal to me.


Thanks. I try to be. It means a lot to me, too when people are there for me. =)


----------



## MoonForge

I feel oke at the moment  And i think being there for someone in any way is good, but that's just my opinion, since i know most of my friends from online so yeah ;x


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lonely


----------



## popeet

I feel really thrown off. Confused. Scared. Lost. Self-doubting. Alone.


----------



## Mousey9

I slept a full 9 hours for the first time this summer.
Feeling pretty damn good.


----------



## Derailing

I hate my life so much. I know that I don't have it that bad compared to others, but I'd rather be alone right now than be with these people. I feel trapped, miserable, and alone regardless of their company. I hate my cousin who comes over every other week. I hate having to babysit my stepbrother all week long. I hate my grandmother's constant nagging. I hate my mother's mental abandonment. I hate my boring brother who plays PS3 & texts allllll day long. I just hate everything, even being alive, at this moment.


----------



## copper

Depressed and fatigued. I don't really care much about anything anymore. Tired of trying to fit in with others. I wish I didn't have to work. I hate being around egotistical coworkers all day and hate living in town with the neighbors watching my every move.


----------



## AxeDroid

I feel better than I thought I would feel.


----------



## Yer Blues

Crappy. I probably should refrain from posting when I'm in this kinda mood.


----------



## KelsKels

Like such a lazy ahole.


----------



## Kalliber

i wanna skype D:


----------



## Noll

i want to tear my eyes out. and my hair. and my face.


----------



## vanilla90

Burned out.


----------



## Nunuc




----------



## popeet

^ cute


----------



## Lids

Sleepy but excited. I am going with my friends to Lake Coeur D'alene for three days. When I come back I am going out to sushi with another of my friends.


----------



## Nunuc

Not so well today.


----------



## cosmicslop

Unawake.


----------



## misspeachy

Fine thanks.
A teensy bit angry when I think about this family holiday and the lack of thought my mum has put into her children when she told me dad she would like to go before I was even home.


----------



## Mousey9

Feeling pretty damn tired.


----------



## thevandal

Lonely and a bit drained.


----------



## Zatch

I feel okay. Should be much better soon.


----------



## AxeDroid

Meh, can't really argue about it.


----------



## Archeron

Almost asleep,and a bit confused.Why can't things be more simple?Really.


----------



## shelbster18

I feel pretty good today. I went up to Wal-Mart by myself, which I rarely do to buy some more headphones and chap-stick. My lips have been feeling rough lately. I don't know if it's because of this toothpaste that I've been using that has baking soda and peroxide in it or what. So, that's why I got the chap-stick. A couple of days ago, I ate an apple and right after I ate it, I noticed my lips felt rough. It couldn't have been the apple because I eat apples occasionally. It must be this toothpaste.


----------



## TryingMara

Sleepy.


----------



## JadedJade

Not depressed for once.


----------



## popeet

Excited again, for 'tis the weekend!! Endless possibilities.


----------



## rotten

Relaxed. Being in my own little world is the best feeling, far from reality and people.


----------



## ItsEasierToRun

PISSED OFF! :bash


----------



## AxeDroid

Optimistic for the future. I haven't been this optimistic since I was in Elementary. I sure hope that from this point on in my life, that life give me a chance at it.


----------



## Marakunda

Optimistic, but also tired.


----------



## Odinn

Like I've just been shot right in the ****ing heart.
Shaking, upset, angry, disappointed, dejected....
Mostly at my own actions....


----------



## Nanami

Like I want to go back to bed and never get back up. I don't want anyone to bother me or even look at me or I'll get really *issed off. Angry because I have to go to work and be around people.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Moderately buzzed on whiskey


----------



## Schmilsson

Incredibly nervous.


----------



## NoHeart

Meh


----------



## Odinn

Actually...not too bad now...


----------



## Zatch

Feelin' alright, lol. Could go for a taco or two.


----------



## PandaBearx

Kinda sad


----------



## AxeDroid

Great!


----------



## T Studdly

Kinda angry, I feel like knocking someones lights out.


----------



## BelieveInFreedom

Like s*** and I'm in the need of alcohol.


----------



## Glass Child

Confused as usual.


----------



## TryingMara

So-so.


----------



## fakingsmiles777

well.... 
perks being wallflower~
I am both happy AND sad 
and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be...


----------



## popeet

Like kicking this stupid machine I wasted my money on. This machine is for losers. For cult members. For people in denial.


----------



## QuitSweatinMe

ugly inside and out


----------



## GetOutOfMyHouse

...


----------



## Chieve

Good just bored nothing to do besides play a game


----------



## laura024

Nervous! I'm going into work with no idea of what I'm supposed to do.


----------



## Zatch

About to feel even better.:boogie


----------



## vanilla90

F_cking terrible. I can't deal with this on and off depression anymore, it's driving me insane. Feel like my stomach is eating itself. I could deal with it if the pain was constant, but it teases me with happiness for a while and then hits me with the mental trauma when I'm doing fine. It's like I'm being water boarded with pain, and it's stopped at the last minute and repeats


----------



## TryingMara

Pathetic, like a loser.


----------



## Shockwave The Logical

A bit mixed. I've mostly been worrying.


----------



## aquilla

Pathetic. No more gin for me. In fact, no more ANY alcohol for me . I'm pathetic and in need of some serious therapy or at least a hug.


----------



## BrendanG

Tired


----------



## HappyFriday

I hate people. They are so frickin annoying. Ugh women in particular are driving me crazy at the moment with all the feminism. Always wolloping around and turning life into men vs women. All they need is a good reality smack on their wolloping face.

Tomorrow I'm gonna be in a worse mood because I hate straight men. Trust me majority of you aint hot, except SA members. ^_^ Something about a shy man makes me wanna ruffle feathers with him.


----------



## Zatch

Baked like... Bro, I don't even know.

English translation: k.


----------



## nycdude

A bit depressed and annoyed by anything. Haven't been out in weeks.


----------



## popeet

like i don't know where to start.


----------



## KelsKels

Soul-crushingly bored. My boyfriend has been hogging my xbox for 3 days straight.


----------



## vanilla90

Need. To. Stop. Caring. About. Things. My emotions feel like a loaded gun sometimes.


----------



## Lids

Very sleepy.


----------



## Noll

i also feel sleepy. i wanna sleep.


----------



## The Misery Chick

Fatigued, yet content.


----------



## Zatch

Somewhat vivacious, but I took a sleeping pill earlier, so this would be temporary, ha. Hopefully I don't fall asleep at the compu


----------



## Noll

crying on the bus home, i hope no one saw me.


----------



## intheshadows

Stuffy, hot, sticky, sweaty...


----------



## theoverthinker

Glad that I shared how I really felt to someone who is important to me, nervous and ashamed that I shared how I really felt to someone who is important to me. It's hard sharing your true feelings for someone!


----------



## cosmicslop

vaguely discontent. i can't pinpoint a reason why. i'm also bored.


----------



## DisneyMisfit

Sad and frustrated :/


----------



## shelbster18

My dad is scaring the **** out of me with these gun signs and his gun collection. I had a dream like two weeks ago that I didn't have an eye and thought that maybe someone shot me. I know dreams don't mean anything but sometimes, I think they do. I'm thinking too much about this stuff man. :afr I wouldn't be surprised if he shot me on one of his drunk escapades. He technically almost killed my sister once when he was drunk and I know I've mentioned that so many times on here.


----------



## MrQuiet76

I feel like the floor of a taxi cab


----------



## mcmuffinme

I ate too much and am depressed. Not one of my favorite combinations. Ugh, I feel disgusting. I feel too gross. I hope I can get myself to just take a day off eating tomorrow. I feel like such a pig. I'm not even worthy of my own thoughts. I should just stand on some street corner and stare at the pavement like a ****ing idiot, because that's what I am. 

As usual, I'm overreacting to my situation. I swear if you knew me in real life you wouldn't know I had thoughts like that. Well, you'd probably know I had no confidence, but I'd never say it out loud.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Depressed & lonely


----------



## Noll

so depressed lately, maybe it's the summer finally coming to an end, introducing autumn and all that it brings, sentimentality and such. but spring has it too, always spring and autumn.

or maybe it has to do with me being really really lonely... maybe next week will be better.


----------



## minnie52

Too tired to get off the bed and off this comp reading threads like this lol!


----------



## shelbster18

Like I overreact about stuff. Not that it's always a bad thing. Sometimes, I feel like I'm a character on a TV show or something. xD


----------



## mdiada

Tired from work. My calves are worn out from jogging earlier. Math homework has pretty much caused me irreversible brain damage from overthinking. Overall, I feel pretty damn good.


----------



## AxeDroid

Bored


----------



## Kalliber

been okaish


----------



## alienbird

I feel greaaat right now. Hehe. :b


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mild whiskey buzz


----------



## Revenwyn

Happier than I have been in the last thirteen years. Heard my high school sweetheart's voice for the first time in thirteen years. We were never allowed to actually be together due to stupid homeschooling rules. We've been corresponding for three years and finally decided to talk to each other over the phone.


----------



## Nekomata

Bored x___x tired. Want alcohol but there's a lack of money and too lazy to go out. Bah x___x


----------



## CWe

Feeling restless and annoyed

how about you


----------



## Schmilsson

Humiliated and miserable.


----------



## Odinn

Very bitter and frustrated


----------



## karenw

Sick/poorly poorly


----------



## ClubTie

Severely depressed and unsure what to do.

Need some comfort food perhaps :idea


----------



## Kalliber

I'm tired


----------



## scooby

Feeling too nervous to sleep.


----------



## yankeegirl1311

Lost. I feel like quitting my job and running away from everything. My kids, my family, my whole life. In feel like I'm drowning and I can't catch my breath.


----------



## Revenwyn

Lonely for him...


----------



## Creepy Little Clown

I'm having one of those, I can't even think of the words to describe how unhappy I am kind of days.


----------



## shelbster18

Pissed. I'm just tired of being angry all the time. It's very draining. -__-


----------



## AxeDroid

I'm so confused about what to do...


----------



## roseblood

Tonight after my life drawing class i felt so discouraged, but not enough to quit. Now i just feel quite useless and lazy.


----------



## CWe

Sick! something about waking up @ 7 am always gets me sick idk why


----------



## karenw

:yawn tired


----------



## narcissisticme

I can not open up to people that easily! some people label me introvertedly extrovert or extrovertly introvert! Anyway, trusting somebody is not that easy, so making friends with strangers is more difficult!


----------



## Dehydrated Water

Very lonely, and slightly tired. Stoked about the weather outside though.


----------



## inerameia

Down. I feel pretty worthless. I know I have potential, but will I ever reach it? It seems hopeless to me


----------



## TryingMara

Incredibly tired. I've hardly slept at all the last two nights.


----------



## Glass Child

Hating myself quite a lot right now. I feel like punching my head against a wall.


----------



## Zatch

Competition-hungry. I am confident in this game, but have nobody challengingly competent to play against within a reasonable proximity of my city.


----------



## karenw

Annoyed, I can't sleep like last night & I want to, at least I'm a day nearer to finding out if I have a job


----------



## PassiveAggressive

I'm on the happier side of sad rn.


----------



## shelbster18

I'm feeling a little mad right now. I hate this new feature on OkCupid that shows who saw you recently. All it is are the matches or whatever that look at your profile, not your actual profile and skip over it. :/ I'm starting to think OkCupid wants to ruin people's self esteem. That's the only reason they have it there. It's like I can't even find a girl to date on there without it showing who skips my damn profile. I zoomed in on the site to hide the feature. lol


----------



## DisneyMisfit

Sad, lonely, frustrated, hopeless, stressed, and also uncomfortably hot because it's really humid today.


----------



## Derailing

I got the "bubble gut" feeling all day, thankfully nothing too bad though.


----------



## MoonForge

Really tired and i feel tense because i'm so tired ;o It's weird for me to have a day to rest when my whole week was busy, it makes me really nervous somehow :/


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Despondent, Tired, Hungry


----------



## SilentLyric

tired, bored.


----------



## alenclaud

Pretty beat. Don't feel like doing anything today, though I have to, unfortunately.


----------



## Kalliber

Tired xd


----------



## Glass Child

Mix between angry and, something else.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

So bad that I can't even find the words to describe it.


----------



## Nanami




----------



## diamondheart89

Shenanigans.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Pretty tired. Don't feel like working on schoolwork today, but I have to.


----------



## Odinn

Not good.

I feel like I am being pushed to make a choice I don't want to make.
I am prepared to make it though.


----------



## Nekomata

Bored and unmotivated.


----------



## Nanami

Like why am I even trying.


----------



## Nunuc

Nanami said:


> Like why am I even trying.


Because you were made to Keep Trying forever and forever and...mwahahahahaaa! :teeth






I feel like ****. Surprise.


----------



## TryingMara

Much better than yesterday. I feel more rested and lighthearted.


----------



## Zatch

Bored as


----------



## CrimsonTrigger

Sore. I overdid it with bike riding yesterday, so now I can barely get up.


----------



## Nanami

Nunuc said:


> Because you were made to Keep Trying forever and forever and...mwahahahahaaa! :teeth
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I feel like ****. Surprise.


=} Thanks Nunuc. :b


----------



## Glass Child

Don't know how to make it more obvious


----------



## Noll

yeah! 

...no...


----------



## Nekomata

Sluggish due to a hangover, otherwise pretty okay I guess.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry, restless, & sore


----------



## Kalliber

exited yet sad xD


----------



## RiversEdge

I feel like my family is ungrateful and selfish and it's hurtful to me and makes me angry. I feel worried about my relationship, even though we love each other, I want some certainty, I'm always left wondering because of our personal situation. 
I also feel like i can't stand looking at facebook, every one on it just makes me sick.


----------



## huh

****ing awesome


----------



## therunaways

Hungry and depressed


----------



## shelbster18

I'm so excited for the new season of The Walking Dead. I think I'm getting impatient. And I feel like watching the first two seasons over and over. I still haven't seen the first half of the third season. >_< I'm seriously attached to the show. I haven't been this attached to a show since like 2004. I might watch the first season again tomorrow. I just watched it like not even two weeks ago. What is going on with me? >_>


----------



## laura024

I'm feeling drained physically and mentally. I think I've really worn myself out these last couple weeks.


----------



## Zatch

I feel better. Recovered a hobby that I'm going to devote some time to.


----------



## Yer Blues

Stressed.


----------



## Dehydrated Water

Suicidal.


----------



## Odinn

Feeling much much better. :yes


----------



## Mousey9

Numbness is becoming more and more frequent.


----------



## Glass Child

Dreamy.


----------



## alvarez023

Today i am feeling well and what a great Monday.


----------



## Zatch

Woeful.


----------



## Kalliber

okaish


----------



## SilentLyric

angry


----------



## Noll

i wanna get high on something. or drunk. come to think of it...

nah i don't know. i don't like whiskey.


----------



## mattmc

Pretty good right now. Yesterday afternoon decided to focus on the positive. No matter how pointless society might consider those things. Why let their standards of BS bring me down?


----------



## laura024

Half conscious


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mild rum buzz


----------



## Nunuc

Like a raw bacon.


----------



## DisneyMisfit

Worried.


----------



## alenclaud

Trapped, which is a general feeling I have about life, but today it's stronger.


----------



## Paper Samurai

Optimistic tinged with the sadness of past regrets.


----------



## amaris

Feeling like a loser..Just sad..indulging in some wishful thinking.


----------



## mattmc

Just realized I misunderstood what someone said making my response look completely idiotic. Now it's been there for hours. No point in deleting it.


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Not good.


----------



## Bbpuff

Antsy..


----------



## rotten

Happy.


----------



## mattmc

Glad I started coming here. The other place I was going to (not on this site for clarity) hadn't been working for me but I just kept going anyways.


----------



## Sacrieur

Get down on it.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Redder than red. I've not indulged in herb in a few weeks


----------



## SilentLyric

tired.


----------



## Nekomata

Bored and unmotivated, as usual really.


----------



## JakeBoston1000

feeling bad:yes


----------



## Bikini Condom

I feel nothing Im literally bored out of my mind.


----------



## Glass Child




----------



## alienbird

I feel okay right now. I am rather anxious about something, but I'm trying not to think about it today.


----------



## Zatch

Tired, yet I still want to get zooded. Typical weekday.


----------



## To22

I haven't had a bed or comfy alternative for days. My back is killing me. You really don't realize how uncomfortable the average chair is until your back isn't healthy. Someone should really improve upon these barbaric designs :lol


----------



## SilentLyric

not so good, stomach ache.


----------



## Zatch

Meh. Pretty great day at school, but meh. Need to cop bud.


----------



## Valtron

Rejected.
Stupid.
Tired.
Lazy.


----------



## Jynxed

Sleepy, (but I'm an insomniac so I'll probably be up for a few more hours. Ugh. -_-) extremely sad, yet just a little bit happy. :/


----------



## alienbird

I feel horrible. I'm regretful. And sad. I'm very sorry. I'm trying to make things better, but it seems my efforts are fruitless.


----------



## turtle boogie

I feel aggravated but proud about my situation, unmotivated to do anything about that or anything in general, like I'm losing all my friends in this transitional phase of my life, frightened at the prospect of living and dying by my decisions from now on, angry that I didn't focus on grades but delighted, absolutely delighted that I did exactly what I wanted to in school and honed my intellectual, and even social, skillsets that I care about more than anything regardless of whatever pressure. 

All things considered I'm a strange mix of happy and aggravated.


----------



## PandaBearx

Kind of really emotionally tired I wish I had one giant bucket where I could throw all my bullshi* feelings in and that chuck it into the ocean, so bam no more problems.


----------



## Fruitcake

Really sad.


----------



## veiled

I feel okay right now, not too good or bad. I get that way at night.


----------



## Odinn

...I don't know what to think or feel.


----------



## DisneyMisfit

I feel weird. My stomach is all warm inside. My mood is just eh. I'm also getting hungry.


----------



## Deion

Depressed, lonely and bored. Tomorrow is saturday, everyone has friends and will be doing something but not me, i'll be alone in my room as always.


----------



## Glass Child

Was helping out a good friend and it turns out we're actually very similar. More than just the basics I already knew about. Aha, she's great...

Otherwise I've been confused all day yeah. But my stomach pain stopped an hour ago.


----------



## Sacrieur

Glass Child said:


> Was helping out a good friend and it turns out we're actually very similar. More than just the basics I already knew about. Aha, she's great...
> 
> Otherwise I've been confused all day yeah. But my stomach pain stopped an hour ago.


I just punch myself in the stomach until my body learns not to feel that way.

Remember! Pain is just weakness leaving the body.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

On my way to intoxication


----------



## Zatch

Getting kinda tired. Long, exhausting day. I want to coodle yew.


----------



## vela

Tired and uneasy. My anxiety is always worse when I'm tired.


----------



## TryingMara

Tired.


----------



## Nitrogen

Bored, unmotivated.


----------



## Odinn

Devastated, Lost, Numb, Scared...
Tired, Defeated, Hurt...

Just dead inside...


----------



## Barette

Excited as SH*T. Oh mah gah the universe has been so favorable to me lately. I can't even stand it. I might explode. My chest may literally explode with anticipation for all the good things brewing for me right now, my ribs will burst open with streamers and glitter and all good things.

I'm not even kidding though. Everything I've wanted to happen, has happened. I'm not questioning it, the minute I do, the good thing will stop. Who knew being positive made life just crap diamonds on your head?


----------



## Zatch

Soooo cuuuuute.


----------



## Relz

Hopeless. :cry


----------



## shelbster18

Like I'm hated for no reason. A good friend I used to talk to deleted me off their friend's list for some reason (not that I care about a friend's list) and I had two other people that deleted me not too long ago. I don't understand what's going on because I didn't do anything. :rain I would like to know what I did because I don't see what I did wrong. :blank


----------



## shelbster18

Like I'm hated for no reason. A good friend I used to talk to deleted me off their friend's list for some reason (not that I care about a friend's list) and I had two other people that deleted me not too long ago. I don't understand what's going on because I didn't do anything. :rain I would like to know what I did because I don't see what I did wrong. :blank I'm just a loser apparently.


----------



## VeMuñeca

I'm feeling sad. I had a bad day today. All I can say is I can't wait to transfer out of my current college. I can not stand the people here anymore


----------



## TryingMara

Depressed.


----------



## Nekomata

Bored and lonely.


----------



## loophole

I'm sure I'll find out shortly. Meh right now. But marriage counseling in ten minutes. I'm sure I'll learn a lot more about how I'm feeling when I hear how she's feeling. Wish me luck... Heh


----------



## Nekomata

Amused xD


----------



## AceEmoKid

It's so hard to describe my feelings, especially at this moment, for instance. It's mixture of pensive melancholy, desolation, helplessness, and inner rage at myself. I just feel like crying, but being forced to be around people for so much of the day at college won't allow me to breakdown, release until catharsis, and just as quickly repair myself before I am brought to the public eye again. I don't even have my own room to recharge, especially in the night hours when I like to think, pace, talk to myself, and create in solitude. I won't allow myself to cry, even for these next maybe 20 minutes while my roommate has just left to take a shower, in fear that she'll see traces of my red nose or bleary eyes and pity me by prying, or worse, ignore me and pity me from afar. 

Lack of privacy and resources are depriving me of my sanity. I need alone time, and I also know I need help. I need someone to confide in. But I can't even figure out how to ****ing find groups and organizations that could help me because all of the ****ing information is on facebook and you need an account to access it. My only other alternative is to email or call, or even talk to some staff member on campus to get answers, but I know my anxiety and stubborn disposition prevents me from reaching out. I'm beginning to realize that I cycled so long these past few weeks trying to be someone else, someone confident, sure of herself, and at least mildly sociable. But I didn't foresee that my energy would soon run out. And now I'm left, empty and isolated, worn out but still being urged to push on by some invisible force. I can't do it. Why is this so hard for me? Why am I so easily damaged by the little things? I just want to curl up and die.


----------



## Zatch

Feel like I'm coming across as glib due to not being able to explain certain things in proper detail.


----------



## AceEmoKid

I don't know. I feel like nothingness itself.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Frosty Sweaty


----------



## Kalliber

Hungry and tired


----------



## lov3np3ac3

A bit under the weather, it feels like the past few days have been getting grayer and grayer but I guess that's just one of the many signs that summer is over..


----------



## mattmc

Coincidence said:


> and how i am feeling ? i feel very bad of course , sorry sometimes my posts doesn't relate to the thread idea


Thread ideas are more like suggestions lol. :boogie


----------



## Noll

disgustingly full. so full my head hurts and my teeth feel all weird


----------



## Zatch

About to just give up.


----------



## mezzoforte

Happy, loved, and in love.


----------



## mattmc

A little guilty. I showed my dad a movie he was not prepared for. Probably just added more fuel to the fire of his worrying about me.

But **** that **** I love that movie! Ain't no shame baby!


----------



## redstar312

Sad and lonely.


----------



## Zatch

Better. Thankful as all hell for my emotional resilience.


----------



## Auroras

Fulfilled.


----------



## mattmc

lestrange said:


> Like holding a single-female-dance-party in my bedroom.


Those are good. Shower dance parties are better.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry & stiff. I need to eat & stretch


----------



## Zatch

Bored as all hell.


----------



## Auroras

A bit upset and frustrated


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Like I did a baaaaaaad thing.


----------



## Glass Child

One of those days~


----------



## losinghope

So tired and just want to have a warm bath and relax and see no one.


----------



## stellarfate

I'm feeling very tired. Life always seems to be the same. And at the end of the day, I am always sleeping alone. So painfully lonely and tired of it is how I am feeling and have been for years.


----------



## mattmc

Coincidence said:


> Yes you mean the thread title is not necessary? , yes , but maybe the OP feels offended or maybe people think it's kind of rude , sometimes it's embarrassing so i either delete or justify my mistake if it's possible , actually sometimes i feel the more i post the more i make a fool out of myself , i realize that when i read some posts the next day , maybe tomorrow i regret posting this post for example .. :|


Yeah I've been there. Once went through my IMDB and deleted every post.


----------



## belle102

sleepy and lonely


----------



## Heyyou

Sleepy.


----------



## Zatch

Wanting to talk to someone, but I'm... nervous. I always am when it comes to starting a conversation with them. =/


----------



## Kalliber

okaish ._.


----------



## Nekomata

Tired and bored. Dreading the next two weeks.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & sore


----------



## Zatch

Listless, for a Saturday. Don't even have someone to converse with.


----------



## Revenwyn

That feeling where you know you need to do something but are too scared of doing it.


----------



## Glass Child

Much better now.


----------



## tbyrfan

worthless.


----------



## False Protagonist

Tired, hungry, confused.

Confused as to why this thread was locked. Hoping someone can tell me...


----------



## Odinn

Same old, same old


----------



## alienbird

I feel good right now. Just watching funny videos on YouTube. Haha.


----------



## NicoShy

Deflated, bored, lethargic, a failure


----------



## DarrellLicht

Agitated... I'm being bombed to sh*t by the neighbors upstairs...


----------



## NoHobbies

Awful


----------



## AceEmoKid

I have the vague feeling I am going crazy. I imagine myself being tossed into a bowl of viscous fluid and being stirred around by giant chopsticks. My emotional state is so deadened. I can't even distinguish whether I am sad, angry, deject, tired, or just plain detached from all.


----------



## redstar312

I'm totally drunk rightn ow.


----------



## nrelax11

I'm totallt drunk too  alone  Now I just want a chick lol


----------



## redstar312

Dont jeudge me. Its yunot your right to judge me.


----------



## nrelax11

I'm not judging, I'm on my 6th budlight and suuuuper bored watching south park. Bout to crack open some Champaign. I should have invited people over cuz I have the hosue to.muself for two weeks


----------



## redstar312

I've driunnk a whoel 750 ml vbottle of 100 proof captain morgan toniht.


----------



## nrelax11

Oh snap, dats a lot. I jus threw up lol. Chugging a beer, buy I'm still.gonna drink the Champaign


----------



## redstar312

Dpnt djudge me.


----------



## nrelax11

Don't worry no jusdging from me, I use to be an opiate addict. And don worry I only drink once in a while. O god, haven't had Champaign since high school, jus had a flashabkfrom the smell


----------



## Zatch

I'm so with it dude.

drink moar

im feelinnnn fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine


----------



## nrelax11

Yay for drunk SASers! Haven't drank in like 3 months, needed some relaxation


----------



## Malek

I just want to fade away forever...


----------



## millenniumman75

Sore - I just ran six miles.


----------



## nrelax11

^^ isnt it like 2 am or 3, good job


----------



## mattmc

Head doesn't hurt yet
Hey hey, not a bad start


----------



## TryingMara

Pretty good atm, surprisingly.


----------



## copper

Dang Vasomotor Rhinitis is acting up. Dang up and down temps. Another winter of suffering. Broke a blood vessel in my throat from coughing. Have blood in my phlegm. Went all summer with no problems and then the weather starts roller coasting it starts up again.


----------



## MrOblivious

I'm feeling...drunk


----------



## Zatch

Feeling a bit sluggish. Should feel more invigorated after a shower.


----------



## Auroras

Good. Only 'cus SAS is the best place to be :yes


----------



## nrelax11

A bit hungover, but starting to feel better


----------



## lov3np3ac3

Okay


----------



## CharmedOne




----------



## redstar312

nrelax11 said:


> A bit hungover, but starting to feel better


I woke up at 1:30 in the afternoon to find two piles of vomit on my living room floor. Don't remember doing it though.


----------



## Fooza

Sad that the weekend is over...


----------



## Revenwyn

Like my heart is about to physically break.


----------



## Zatch

In some sort of sleep-deprived stupor right now. I should probably K.O. soon, but I think my friends were going to be coming back tonight, and I'd have to stay up to open the door for them.


----------



## minimized

Like everything sucks.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sick as a dog. Runny/stuffy nose, cough,etc


----------



## Odinn

Absolutely Terrible Now...


----------



## sorpmon

Terrible!


----------



## intheshadows

Felt frustrated earlier, took a walk for a while, feel better now.


----------



## Roscoe

Burnt out


----------



## nrelax11

redstar312 said:


> I woke up at 1:30 in the afternoon to find two piles of vomit on my living room floor. Don't remember doing it though.


Make sure to fall asleep on your side, have had two people I knew die from chocking on there throw up.


----------



## MoonForge

Not so good, i can feel my winter depression slowly creeping up on me, so it's making me gloomy and also a bit scared to be honest.


----------



## Kalliber

I am good exited to play this game


----------



## Auroras

Feeling charged. New day, got to check things off my to do list.


----------



## Glass Child

Sleepy.


----------



## Zatch

Lackadaisical, at the wrong time of the day.


----------



## Nekomata

Still hungry, and not fond about going anywhere tomorrow.


----------



## redstar312

Moody.


----------



## Jynxed

Depressed, lonely, confused. :/


----------



## Zatch

Somewhat conflicted.


----------



## nataliej

Nervous and depressed by the thought of school tomorrow.


----------



## Zatch

Outrageously sleepy. I'll have to finish catching up tomorrow. :yawn Almost there though.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Lucky. Very lucky.


----------



## To22

:bah


----------



## redstar312

Self-deprecating.


----------



## JohnDoe26

Blah. You know that feeling you get when you don't care anymore but you're not exactly suicidal or even depressed? ​


----------



## Kalliber

I am good happy


----------



## Archeron

Sad.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Motivated


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I'm still sick


----------



## Aalim

I feel good today!


----------



## twitchy666

*The Sun is up*

I was expecting winter

My sandals are broken. I rushed past people cos they were too slow
Then a strap broke. I had to hobble home

I'm going out to take all my unneeded clothes to the big bin and get groceries
because my car STILL works?


----------



## alenclaud

I feel a little better than yesterday, starting to adjust to the week ahead. So that's good. I may take advantage of a nice day and go spend some time outside in the evening when I get the chance.


----------



## Zatch

Mellowing out now, I think. That was niiiiiiiice.


----------



## Nekomata

Extremely tired.


----------



## Radical But Legal

I feel like I could beat Usain Bolt in a 100 meter race, like I could go back in time and kill Hitler, like I could go out, find the prettiest girl in the world, kiss her and not get slapped, like I could swim across the Pacific Ocean, like I could single-handedly beat terrorism, like I could go streaking through the streets and people would just applaud me, like I could invent my own religion and make the whole world my followers, like I could make Detroit a safe place to live, like I could get shot 100 times and still survive, like I could eat the whole world and not get fat. In other words, I feel great!


----------



## TryingMara

Kind of dead. No energy.


----------



## lov3np3ac3

Quite okay actually!


----------



## Zatch

Languid. I think my friends left back out for their home in Alabama already, so I don't know what to do right now. Might put my idea into effect.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Low


----------



## alienbird

Extremely tired.

I'm also feeling some other things, but ehh... I just need to go to sleep and try not to focus on those feelings right now.


----------



## maryana

Content but wary


----------



## Noll

alone but good.


----------



## twitchy666




----------



## AceEmoKid

Coming down from the intense feeling of wanting to smash my glass bottle into my sociology teacher's head. I actually went after class and asked why I didn't get back a certain paper; apparently it was an in class assignment that I was absent for and thus automatically get a zero in. I confirmed, "So I can't make it up, and I get a zero?" She smiled and laughed a little as she said echoed, nodding her head, "Yes, you get a zero." _Smiled and laughed._ What the **** kind of policy of that? How is that fair at all to students who get sick and can't attend class? Is there no redemption? So those with chronic fever syndromes and plain bad luck despite striving to succeed are doomed?

I bit my lip so hard that I imagined I had poked holes in my inner mouth, and that blood was dribbling down my chin. I squeezed my glass bottle so hard, my knuckles turned white with pure satisfaction of imagining stretching it back, and raining it down into her head over and over until the remaining glass shards embedded themselves into her bloody-pulped scalp, driving deeper until tears danced around the edges of her blurred vision, at last crumpling to the ground and begging for mercy.

And I would give none.


----------



## Nekomata

Bored and sleepy.


----------



## mattmc

Not bad. Not bad.


----------



## Gurosan

rather good and becoming even better as time goes on.
health is returning in my body and energy is evident.
i start to enjoy life again even if all else looks the same^_^


----------



## Bearyfluffy

Lonely and depressed


----------



## DarrellLicht

Pretty darn good actually. More energetic I've been in a while..


----------



## renegade disaster

^ good to hear dude.

I have been feeling avoidant, nothing new there I suppose! my sleep is messed up at the moment due to the weather being all over the place. I get even more avoidant than usual when my sleep is bodged up.


----------



## laura024

Annoyed


----------



## VeMuñeca

Terrible. Usually family problems are my main reasons for bad days, but for some reason this semester is filled with a lot of bad days that are caused by stuff happening at school.  So many fake people around me it's not even funny. Then comes the fact that I am once again struggling with exams. Good thing by Tuesday I will be seeing my counselor to get a withdrawal form for the semester so I could work on what is more important than school work which is my mental health.


----------



## DarrellLicht

renegade disaster said:


> ^ good to hear dude.
> 
> I have been feeling avoidant, nothing new there I suppose! my sleep is messed up at the moment due to the weather being all over the place. I get even more avoidant than usual when my sleep is bodged up.


 Is this why you're green?... It's not easy being green..:blank


----------



## renegade disaster

moroff said:


> Is this why you're green?... It's not easy being green..:blank


hehe, i'm green because I changed it for halloween. feel a bit better today, slept ok.


----------



## Charmander

Pretty good. I was worrying about my family coming over last night, but it actually went really well and there were no awkward pauses like I feared. Once they left I felt pretty lonely though. It's weird that a lot of us like to be alone but get lonely at the same time.


----------



## Kalliber

good but tired ;s


----------



## Aalim

I feel tired, so will take nap now.


----------



## shycheese

Surprisingly happy. I just watched the new season of Modern Family and it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I was laughing throughout the show and after it ended I realized that was the first time I truly laughed since my grandmother died two months ago. 

I'm not an emotionally expressive person so I never cried, not even when the rest of my family were in tears. I guess because everyone else was in tears I felt like I had to be the strong one. I didn't cry when she was hospitalized, I didn't cry when the doctor's pronounced her dead, I didn't cry at her funeral. 

Afterwards I moved in with my grandfather to take care of him. He's showing signs of dementia so it's stressful living with him. On the surface everything seemed fine, my life continued as usual so I thought I moved on. I didn't realise how upset I've been these past two months until I was laughing my *** off watching Modern Family and that feeling felt foreign. It was like 'hey I remember feeling this way...once upon a time'.

Now I feel kinda silly linking my grandmother's death to a tv show :b


----------



## PandaBearx

Weird, as in I feel semi okay today. Which is good I suppose


----------



## Emu

I feel like I don't exist at all.


----------



## TryingMara

Not that great. I'm annoyed at someone, my stomach has been hurting all day, I'm scared about a health issue and I'm nervous about work tomorrow.


----------



## Eia Au

lonely


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious. I just woke from a scary & bizarre dream


----------



## Auroras

Like a sloth :no


----------



## ninjaslol

Sad and happy at same time. I don't know


----------



## edwardfranklin

My Feeling Is Right nOw


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Overly exhausted


----------



## Nunuc

Grumpy as ****.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I love Fridays. I'm gonna buy myself a 12 pack of beer, and relax later on. Perhaps play a little Skyrim, and post on my music thread later.

First, I need to mop my floors and clean the bathroom. I really need to mow my back yard, but Mormon missionaries will be here in another four hours, I'm not sure why they stop by I always tell them I am an atheist.. at the very least, they are friendly and it is nice to talk to kind hearted people now and then.

We got our paycheck, so perhaps we will do pizza or tacos tonight. 

I hope that all of you are doing well today.


----------



## zonebox

Grand said:


> Regretful... extremely regretful. I'm ashamed of myself for a lot of the things I've done in the past. Certain things have jogged my memory about some of my previous behavior and words. How did I ever think it was acceptable to behave that way? Just... wow. I'm disappointed in myself.
> 
> But... at least I won't ever act that way again.


It's okay Grand, we all make mistakes. It is best to learn from them, and try to grow as a person. Don't get yourself down, by making yourself feel like scum. Do something kind for somebody today, and you will likely feel a lot better.


----------



## Kalliber

BETTER D happy


----------



## Odinn

Miserable, Depressed, Lonely, Disappointed, Upset, Hopeless.... I feel so sick of this.


----------



## Greenleaf62

I'm in a neutral mood. Just...meh.


----------



## alenclaud

Today I level up. I feel fine.


----------



## Noll

i'm feeling like a happy loving broccoli guy


----------



## Odinn

Like I'd be better off dead...
I'm really angry right now.


----------



## Raynic781

Kind of pissed off at the moment actually.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Refreshed & lazy after a nap & shower


----------



## TryingMara

Disappointed.


----------



## ninjaslol

Sad


----------



## iridescent




----------



## Kalliber

i am ok


----------



## loophole

Sick... Tired of this.. Something not right but Dr says same thing... Massive upper respiratory infection.. 3 to 4 times a year.. Ended up getting pneumonia twice last year.. Sick of that


----------



## huh

Depressed, lonely, and frustrated.


----------



## Exsq

Underwhelmed. For about the 19th consecutive weekend.


----------



## Auroras

A bit overwhelmed but overall, good.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

High


----------



## BuzzAldrin

Strange..


----------



## Odinn

Good-ish

Feeling a little... hm... I dunno, I'm probably overthinking and fantasizing.


----------



## Lonely girly

Lonely...I have no friends at all, my boyfriend just disappeared (because he wanted to have a "life") So yeah life kind of sucks right now


----------



## lov3np3ac3

Kinda ****ty, actually. I've got a headache and the weather is terrible.. guess it's time for a nap!


----------



## rdrr

No es bueno.


----------



## Kalliber

* strips* fantastic xD


----------



## losteternal

Nothing terrible has happened for a while
im suspicious, paranoid and waiting for the next kick in the face.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

In need of a good rest


----------



## JitteryJack

I don't really know. What I do know is that how I feel is definitely not like the majority of society. I don't think I'm wired properly. I believe I may have a personality disorder.

All these unspoken rules of how to behave in the real world don't really apply in this one.


----------



## AxeDroid

I feel better than how I was feeling a week ago. I guess my mind is finally letting go of such an "obsession".


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, got out of work a bit more than 2 hours ago. I'm a bit tired, as I only got about 3 hours of sleep last night though.

Had one strange event at work, while I was painting a few book cases a lady was taking pictures and asked if I wanted to be in it and I said I was a bit camera shy. The boss man recounted a story about how he once had coworkers that would hide from the camera, because they were criminals on the run or avoiding paying child support... It sort of peeved me, because I think he was trying to suggest that was my reasoning.

I simply told him, they already have my mug shot on their work site. 

Who knows, I'm not going to assume the worst.. SA has a way of playing ticks with our minds like that. I'd rather enjoy my day, and if worst case scenario he already has my disclosure to request a look at my clean criminal record.


----------



## TryingMara

Relieved that the work day is over. Today was insane.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Weird. I slept longer than I planned to


----------



## Mur

Hungry


----------



## Auroras

Really good. I got a lot accomplish today and looking forward to the weekends.


----------



## TryingMara

Lost.


----------



## Noll

there is an aura of sadness around my body.


----------



## redstar312

Dispirited.


----------



## nrelax11

Today was a productive good day and I think tomorrow will be too.


----------



## Antasma

Like I should probably not be going to sleep at 8am and getting up at 5pm on a regular basis.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & depressed


----------



## Auroras

Purposeful


----------



## JitteryJack

Finding some comfort in learning about Buddhism.


----------



## TryingMara

Hurt.


----------



## Just Stardust

no one understands how crippling this depression can be. It's increasingly difficult to get anything done. I get blamed for my escapism into video games and got tired of it being an excuse so I smashed my xbox with an alluminum bat. I sure she will find something else to blame or ridicule me about, which only feeds my hate for her. But I don't want to be that kind of person, it just seems like I'm having a bad year and things are pilling up so much I can't stand it. I wait on call for a **** job because I can't find something steady, for some prike I can't respect. I'm facing a lawsuit that I can't afford cuz I crashed my car. I'm just really tired of taking abuse, so why noy escape? I should be pumping my veins with heroin, it's not your ****ing bussiness why I'm sad, you're not helping me by belittling me. Just leave me the **** alone.


----------



## Valtron

Tired and weak. I haven't exercised all week. I can't keep living like this.


----------



## BuriedAlive

Really awful


----------



## AxeDroid

Tired and still waiting...*sigh*


----------



## WhatBITW

Uncomfortable.


----------



## Tibble

Invisible..I think I'm finally reaching that point where I've had enough of this.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Minor liquor buzz


----------



## Kalliber

tired


----------



## ItsEasierToRun

I'm feeling "Toight like a toiger!"


----------



## Nekomata

Bored and conflicted.


----------



## lov3np3ac3

I've got a headache, again.. Other than that, I'm feeling annoyed at myself for forgetting to write my literature homework, yay for doing it at half past nine cause I've been procrastinating the past 5 days!


----------



## Auroras

Happy.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, sore, & depressed


----------



## renegade disaster

busy. feet are tired from a lot of walking. got a few things to do still too.


----------



## JitteryJack

Just nuke the world.


----------



## Radical But Legal

Just really sad. I really hope I won't start getting depressed again. I need tomorrow to be an awesome day, which I can't really see happening


----------



## TryingMara

My mood is sinking, becoming more depressed.


----------



## Alok

sick ,depressed


----------



## redstar312

Really hungry.


----------



## copper

I am very irritable. Everything is pissing me off. My sinuses are bothering me which isn't making matters any better. I am really having a hard time biting my tongue at work. I wish I could take tomorrow off. I don't really want to be around others.


----------



## Nitrogen

Conflicted.


----------



## AxeDroid

Very very tired, just hoping this day runs it course so that the next day can do the same and so on till the promise day arrives.


----------



## Mur

Hungry, this food I'm cooking up should be done in about an hour or so.


----------



## Limmy




----------



## DisneyMisfit

Lonely.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit dazed & a bit frail


----------



## housebunny

i feel sick


----------



## Joelshep

I feel like an empty vessel lost at sea some of the time. Poetic thinking makes my moods more interesting haha


----------



## SilentLyric

worried


----------



## TryingMara

Okay.


----------



## AxeDroid

Tired and confused. I was walking to the library, depressed and returning some videos when I saw some guy call out my name. He was suited up and driving a car with a smile and I just waved and I felt even worst because his life is moving forward while I lay here, just waiting, watching and tired.


----------



## laura024

Worried about him.


----------



## EternalTime

Sick and a bit tired


----------



## CWe

Peaceful and Happy


----------



## Glass Child

A bit betrayed. Nothing I can't handle though.

I need to rest, yet I've been having bad dreams lately and don't feel like it. Sighs.


----------



## ApathyDivine

Tired and hungry


----------



## redstar312

Pissed off.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Nearing the edge, of rest.


----------



## Bawsome

Took a kick to the ribbles now i am sore..


----------



## zonebox

Feeling pretty good, laying on my bed relaxing, drinking a big 'o cup of coffee, puffing away at my ecig, and writing on the forums. Tonight, I'm meeting up with my bro on skype, and we're gonna drink a few beers.

As usual, life is pretty good.


----------



## SilentLyric

ready


----------



## AxeDroid

Better than yesterday /\_/\


----------



## EternalTime

Calm


----------



## Anonymous Loner

Quite neutral at the moment.


----------



## Kalliber

Happy ;3


----------



## Glass Child

Contento


----------



## mb47

Sleepy


----------



## Natallie

Lonely, pathetic and useless&#8230;oh and tired


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Awake


----------



## cosmicslop

better. I've actually been taking my stabilizers regularly like I should be, so I'm not doing so bad like before.


----------



## Tokztero

Lonely.


----------



## Glass Child

A little anxious. Have to wake up at 6 tomorrow and get on the bus to programming, but I'm just so tired and exhausted from it all.

Also I wish I could stay up just a bit more for other reasons. Oh well.


----------



## EternalTime

Very tired and a bit anxious.


----------



## euphoria04

Alone and hated by everyone...

and I have to get motivated for a week of schoolwork somehow


----------



## AxeDroid

Great! Not a bad Sunday. Ending with a smile because I spent some time with a friend


----------



## SilentHero

I feel like loneliness has followed me my whole life...


----------



## Odinn

Lonely... but what else is new?
It's just starting to make me bitter anyhow.


----------



## redstar312

Sober, unfortunately.,


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Low & lonely


----------



## Auroras

A bit downtrodden


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Weathered


----------



## Bawsome

Wwwwooooooooooooloooloolololololololoololololoooo!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## housebunny

my head hurts and i feel discouraged


----------



## alenclaud

Today, especially perishable.


----------



## zomgz

****ed up.


----------



## SilentLyric

conflicted


----------



## AK32

Defeated.


----------



## Tokztero

Like i'm dying.


----------



## cosmicslop

Ache-y. i have a really bad headache. Plus I've had allergies again all day.


----------



## Pompeii

Tired. A little anxious. A little grumpy. A little like I need chocolate right now.


----------



## Kalliber

Still sick, mouth and teeth pain too


----------



## Pike Queen

I feel alright in general, just a little anxious to get my appointment with the radiation oncologist later over with. Ugh. ;_;


----------



## CWe

Feeling sexually fabulous!


----------



## Sacrieur

Just let me sleep ;_;


----------



## Odinn

I feel ill.


----------



## DarrellLicht

Conflicted. My sis has literally lost her mind.


----------



## redstar312

Sick. Tight chest, constricted airway, headache.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Minor whisky/heavy metal buzz


----------



## redstar312

****ing tired. It's 6:30 am but I still can't sleep because of this damn chest congestion.


----------



## SilentLyric

refreshed, glad I went to bed at a reasonable hour this time.


----------



## Sacrieur

About three centimeters from ripping out someone's still beating heart.

Something very precious is being taken away from me. If things do not go as planned, I will burn this world city by city until it is returned.


----------



## housebunny

like this :blank


----------



## CWe

Im feeling tired. Been up since 5 AM. Eyes are blood shot red and i feel odd


----------



## changeme77

Sacrieur said:


> About three centimeters from ripping out someone's still beating heart.
> 
> Something very precious is being taken away from me. If things do not go as planned, I will burn this world city by city until it is returned.


You wouldn't be resourceful enough to accomplish this. Because if you were, you'd be able to get what you wanted in your personal life.

I was going to end this by saying "only joking" but I won't, because I really despise people who want to take it out on others when things don't work out as planned in their own selfish world.

Now, back on topic of this thread. I am feeling optimistic


----------



## Kalliber

better i was sick xD


----------



## redstar312

Holy **** I've been awake for nearly 24 hours but it's impossible to sleep due to this chest tightness.


----------



## Glass Child

Sacrieur said:


> About three centimeters from ripping out someone's still beating heart.
> 
> Something very precious is being taken away from me. If things do not go as planned, I will burn this world city by city until it is returned.


This is greatly pleasing to me.
(I feel bad for the buildings)


----------



## Sacrieur

changeme77 said:


> You wouldn't be resourceful enough to accomplish this. Because if you were, you'd be able to get what you wanted in your personal life.


I am getting what I want out of my personal life. The only reason I haven't done anything isn't because I can't, but because I am neither required nor wanted. I have, at this moment, three different and easily executed strategies.



> I was going to end this by saying "only joking" but I won't, because I really despise people who want to take it out on others when things don't work out as planned in their own selfish world.
> 
> Now, back on topic of this thread. I am feeling optimistic


I'm not, I would burn this whole world to ashes if that's what it took. The ones responsible would pay dearly. This is not to say I do not care about the world, but that I care about this that much more.

---

But this is only what I feel. How I would actually act is different and not nearly as reckless.


----------



## CharmedOne

redstar312 said:


> Holy **** I've been awake for nearly 24 hours but it's impossible to sleep due to this chest tightness.


Oh yuck. Me too, but mine's thanks to Bupropion XL. Yeah, GlaxoSmithKline, you no kid about the XL. But, I'm not depressed. Just can't shut my mind off, can't shut my fingers up... :blah :blah :blah :blah :blah :blah :blah :blah :blah :blah


----------



## Kalliber

Feel cold


----------



## copper

Dang sinuses are bothering me. Doctor said I shouldn't live here and I should move to a warm climate. Yeah right. They think I am made of money. I don't even make $40,000 per year yet. Can't afford to live in those kind of places. So I have to continue to suffer from this Vasomotor crap.


----------



## Fooza

Feeling tired but good that the weekend is here. About time an all...


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I'm maintaining a reasonable state of being faded


----------



## DetachedGirl

I feel incredibly happy for no reason whatsoever lol i'm weird like that...


----------



## jessabones

Depressed as a mother ****er. I'm currently enrolled at Job Corps and I live on campus. I kinda want to kill myself at the moment.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit tipsy & lonely


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Really tired, and my whole body is cold.


----------



## Charmeleon

Extremely fatigued yet I can't sleep =\


----------



## Kalliber

Cold as hell


----------



## Bawsome

Cloud 9 aint got **** on me!


----------



## TryingMara

Nervous.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Floating downwards. Sinking. My flesh has just scraped the bottom, and I open my eyes to see my black hair cascading forward, flowing, reaching towards the glowing surface. It's so quiet down here, lonely. I want to be found but at the same time, not.


----------



## Str

Stuck


----------



## Kalliber

My back itches D:


----------



## Owl-99

Pompeii said:


> As above. If anyone finds my tail, let me know. Wretched detachable tails.


I found your tail in a hedge, wrapped around some thorns.


----------



## BuzzAldrin

Sick. I feel like something bad is going to happen.:afr


----------



## EternalTime

Tired D: Hard to get adjusted to getting up early again after a break.


----------



## rosecolored

I feel good. So much better than I've been feeling for a while.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Uncomfortable


----------



## CWe

Happy as two rabbits fu***g 23 times in 1 day


----------



## h4mza

Tired and sleepy


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tense, frail, hopeless, & lonely


----------



## redstar312

Unloved. Afraid.


----------



## Barette

I can't tell if I'm sad or numb. Like, I feel like I should be sad about something but I can't make myself feel that way and it feels off. I think I'm more upset about what this means _for me_. And it doesn't mean anything good for me.

Thank god I'm so self-involved because it makes life so much easier. If I felt this way _and_ cared about other people things would be even more of a pain in the ***.


----------



## Kalliber

I feel ok xD


----------



## EternalTime

Pretty good today


----------



## Bawsome

nervous


----------



## Nekomata

Fine~ still in a bit of pain and kinda wary about stuff, but otherwise.. a-okay xD


----------



## I_Dazed_I

Tired, my ear hurts, and my tooth is killing me. Go away weather change...


----------



## Radical But Legal

I feel like s**t


----------



## Pike Queen

Lonely, bored, tired, and just...negative. -_-


----------



## jessabones

Like dying.
I hate it here.


----------



## meganmila

Just down.


----------



## Yer Blues




----------



## Kalliber

I'm feeling good but tummy ache


----------



## CWe

Angry and Irritated


----------



## Odinn

Lonely, Sad.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Stressed


----------



## Nekomata

Hungry x_x about it really.


----------



## Kalliber

Good but who wants a hug?


----------



## Canadian Brotha

~ Despondent & hopeless


----------



## SilentLyric

tired


----------



## yna

Totally distraught. :s


----------



## Tokztero

Depressed.


----------



## EternalTime

A bit down and tired.


----------



## Chappy02

uncomfortable


----------



## renegade disaster

yea i'm feeling good, I received some good news today which has put me onto a high.


----------



## lisbeth

Sleepy. Contented. Greedy. Impatient for this book to end.


----------



## angrychair

Like the most boring ****er to ever exist.


----------



## Kamen Rider

crushed, hopeless, lonely.


----------



## SilentLyric

stressed


----------



## Radical But Legal

Boooooooooooooooored


----------



## AxeDroid

Worried!


----------



## Sage013

*newbie*

I am newbie to this site. Hoping to be able to talk with others about how to overcome complete withdrawal from clonazapam completely and never ever get on this ever again. Was not told by the doctor of the ferocity of this drug and that getting off and that to me the bad really far out weighs any good of this anxiety med if one can find any I cannot?


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored and restless


----------



## SilentLyric

lonely af

oh god the feels ahhhhhhhhhhh


----------



## Kalliber

likeaspacemonkey said:


> Even better!
> 
> Let's do it!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Put that axe down, silly!


Let us hug then


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored & tired


----------



## MrOblivious

I feel distracted. I can't stop thinking about this girl I like.


----------



## FunnyOwl

I have some sleeping disorder - right now I fall asleep at 3 - 6 am and wake up about at 1 pm. Plus, I need to get a job but I'm so afraid because of my SA. So feel like an unproductive piece of sh*t.


----------



## Lu13

disappointed but slightly releived :/


----------



## Auroras

Busy


----------



## Pike Queen

Lonely, unhappy, and just crappy. At least I made a rhyme.


----------



## Kamen Rider

..sick, tired.. depressed.


----------



## housebunny

i took a 5htp tablet and a st. john's wort. i feel floaty and numb

"numb" that's a good username


----------



## joked35

I'm pleased to have found a forum with people who are like me lol. I don't know why I didn't think of looking for this years ago. Anyways, I am grateful!


----------



## soliloquy

Lonely, but glad I spent some quality time outside on this nice day.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Low & lonely


----------



## zonebox

Hung over, drank way too many beers last night. It could be worst though, just feeling a little slow right now :lol

Went to the park, the kids had a blast at the playground, we also had a picnic and scoped out a few camp sites there for this coming weekend  So, looking forward to some campfire stories, s'mores, a bit of hiking, and resting.


----------



## Starless Sneetch

Right now I feel awesome! I am sure I will be feeling terrible again soon enough, but right now I am reveling in my awesomeness. :yay


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Awake.


----------



## redstar312

Avoidant.


----------



## antisocialkitty

well I feel like evryone has plans to have fun and go out with friends and goof around and have sleepovers and I'm just here desperately trying to figure out how to make friends or something but it's kind of hard to since everyone has friends already! they most likely aren't looking for new friends, I always get shut down, I'm like a magnet for anti friends


----------



## Kalliber

My backs better


----------



## EternalTime

Tired, wish I could go back to bed.


----------



## rosecolored

Tired of not having friends and being inside all the time.


----------



## starsfreak

My future is hopeless. I will never start working on my problems and will never find a job. Might aswell kill myself now as it would be just a relief for the others.


----------



## housebunny

A little better than yesterday, but exhausted cause I hardly slept.


----------



## SilentLyric

likeaspacemonkey said:


> Yesterday I was feeling really ****ty. This morning I was sort of "what now?" and now I've defeated it and I'm pretty awesome.
> 
> *Plus, listening Dani California, and that chorus is just power, man.*


It's an ok song, but I much prefer "snow (hey oh)" better. Dani California sounds empty to me and written just to have a single that sounds good, while snow is much more meaningful.


----------



## vanilla90

Dark.


----------



## housebunny

I feel sick.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Feeling really good.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Grey


----------



## rosecolored

Miserable.


----------



## Chieve

slow and lazy haha


----------



## Pike Queen

A little anxious because I believe one of the fish in my aquarium to be sick. :/ I don't know what's wrong with it but I think it's on it's last limb. It's my favorite fish...


----------



## won

super crappy about not having any friends and not having any plans for halloween tomorrow. also feeling pathetic because I quit my first job on the second day. just overall feeling like a loser I guess

also missing my girlfriend. I keep arguing with her and telling her to stop talking to me and I totally regret it the next day. so right now we're not talking and I just miss her but idk. blahblahblah


----------



## starsonfire

Sad. I only see more emptiness ahead.


----------



## jedidri

STRESSED. All the time. I mean...enough already.
Also doomed - which might be a contributing factor to all the stress...


----------



## loneranger

Feeling a bit down, but more anxious.


----------



## joked35

Inebriated.


----------



## WhatBITW

Wasteful.


----------



## trinity90

Quite good today. Have to clean up my room, though. I delay that for months now. Perhaps I can get to it today.


----------



## redstar312

I hate myself.


----------



## Pike Queen

A little underwhelmed.


----------



## Justlittleme

I feel like whateverish, I feel like society is all fake and I am sad about this. I wish I could keep myself happy.


----------



## Justlittleme

I also think I should go back to being strange and not give a ....  because people love me that way. Instead of being "normal" what the hell is that. lol


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Kinda happy. Had fun paddle boarding and know I'm a little drunk. Overall it was a good day.


----------



## euphoria04

Great. Wish i felt like this every day, I feel comfortable in my skin for a change and optimistic about the future and who I am.


----------



## ApathyDivine

Like I hate everyone. People suck


----------



## alienbird

Tired. :yawn


----------



## partywolf

Pretty crappy; another night, the same old thing. Had to train some new people at place i volunteer, and i was so awkward. Always the same. I never change. I try and try, but I'll never be able to talk to people / make conversation. I get so sick of myself.


----------



## jesica24

I'm feeling lonely.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Bad but no worse than usual.


----------



## Zeeshan

Like it's time to give up


----------



## astralluver420

I feel ok. Cleaned a lot so I feel like I atleast did something productive. But I ate alot of my son's Halloween candy so I feel bad, not for him for my teeth. He's 3 he don't need all that candy. I don't either!


----------



## rosecolored

Sad, because I keep making mistakes.


----------



## TryingMara

Bad, sick, pathetic, depressed.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

like a fish out of water


----------



## EternalTime

Anxious and Tired.


----------



## Raphael200




----------



## aquilla

Scared.Scared. ****ing scared. Basically, I know a lot depends on my decisions this time and I don't want to hurt anyone. Hell, I know I will make someone feel bad anyway.


----------



## OnlineN0w

Hungover and sleepy. Bad decisions were made last night. Ugh...


----------



## Pike Queen

Blah and sore after getting chemo last week...wishing it would finally subside so I can continue on with my life.


----------



## TryingMara

Angry and frustrated.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious, depressed, sore, cowardly


----------



## Kalliber

Anxious...


----------



## housebunny

not so happy because the *******s from upstairs woke me up and i can't get back to sleep and i needed that ****ing sleep ****faces.


----------



## wraith1407

Restless and a bit hungry


----------



## markwalters2




----------



## Tokztero

:fallLike i'm dying.


----------



## monotonous

****y, and peaceful, at the same time


----------



## renegade disaster

drunk.

had a bit of a drink round a mates visiting his new house, had a bit of johnnie walker, captain morgan and disarono and a beer, more than enough really lol.


----------



## DarrellLicht

Hurr-ting..

I bruised my left rib the other day. painful to breathe.


----------



## Yer Blues

Foolish.


----------



## mcmuffinme

Like I'm watching my life slowly pass before my eyes without ever doing anything to effect my own outcomes. I'm just morbidly, complacently idle. My brain must be such a shriveled piece of **** because of my reclusive behavior.


----------



## h00dz

markwalters2 said:


>


Thats just +1 internets.


----------



## Kalliber

Whyyy do people do this..


----------



## Parsnip

Obsessive.
Also like I'm stuck on repeat.
Bah.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry & restless


----------



## euphoria04

I can't tell if I'm mildly depressed or apathetic. I just have no desire to do _anything_, no interests, no motivation, no drive for the future.

I need to reignite that fire in life somehow but I can't figure out how to. I need to spice up my life with something.


----------



## CrimsonTrigger

Like complete garbage. I ended up sleeping for the majority of the day and I forgot to eat. All I've had is junk food, and that's not a good thing to be doing on an empty stomach. I looked in the mirror and my eyes are red as hell.


----------



## Nunuc

Scared, anxious, because tomorrow I have to spend the night on a psych ward and on Tuesday morning I will have my first ECT treatment. Then on Thursday to the ward again and ECT on the next morning. That's how my life will be for the next 4-6 weeks. **** **** **** ****! :afr

edit. Plus, if the ECT doesn't work, there's nothing that haven't been tried with me and my depression left to try. The magnetic pulse brain masturbation (or whatever it is called in English) didn't work at all so I'm little skeptical about ECT too.

edit2. I haven't been under anesthesia ever so that also scares the **** out of me.


----------



## Bawsome

Pretty good, a little wreaked but happy and a little in need of some good company,


----------



## rosecolored

Overwhelmed.


----------



## sad vlad

broken

If anyone has spotted a bloody beating heart thrown in a trash bin, please let me know at once. It belongs to me.


----------



## yna

Feeling more anxious than usual today.


----------



## Neetje

I'm currently in one of those 'neutral' kind of moods. I'm neither happy nor sad. And I actually like that since that feels great when you've been sad for a long time


----------



## lockS

Sh*tty. Procrastination is killing me....I have a couple of assignments/ papers due next week and I just can't seem to start.


----------



## DarrellLicht

Sad. reflecting again... can I have at least ten years of my life back, please?


----------



## DenizenOfDespair

Exhausted right now.


----------



## Tokztero

Depressed


----------



## DenizenOfDespair

Worried


----------



## riderless

sick, cold, headachy, confused, mind all over the place, thinking about yesterday, and the day before that, thinking about all the people who make my life hell even if it's all fiction, guilty that I can't stick to my exercise program


----------



## Nunuc

I had my first ECT session yesterday so...still got the depression and anxiety. I didn't get any headache, which is good, but it was hard to get out of the bed this morning because pretty much every muscle in my body hurts like ****.
After waking up from anesthesia I didn't know what weekday it was nor any other irrelevant details like that, but I did remember that my life sucked right away  Kind of funny and odd thing is that when I was waking up I'm quite sure that I babbled something, lots of something, in English (which isn't my native language) and it contained quite many bad words.






Having seizures is fun!


----------



## Kalliber

Still sick but excited


----------



## juliaohio

sad
useless
lonely
futureless
desperate
sluggish
****tish

that sums it up i guess


----------



## visualkeirockstar

I'm usually feel sad and depressed but its not as bad now but i don't feel happy either.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lost in life


----------



## Kalliber

* twerk* fab


----------



## tooafraid

Extremely frustrated, depressed, lonely, sad, unmotivated and just worthless and incompetent.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Woeful


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Fine


----------



## mdiada

not too bad! cold though. argh


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Like my head is going to turn into an anvil.


----------



## Kalliber

Excited


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mild liquor buzz


----------



## alienbird

Forgotten.


----------



## Nunuc

Depressed. And I can't remember where I've hidden my copy of Dark Chronicle/Dark Cloud 2 for PS2, thanks to ECT.


----------



## rosecolored

Silly


----------



## Nunuc

Woohoo, I think I have some anterograde amnesia going on because I can't remember very much out of yesterday. Hahaha, this is actually quite fun :lol


----------



## eveningbat

Grand said:


> Forgotten.


Why forgotten?


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Morning drunk. I want more liquor


----------



## Eurasian

It's late and I want to be tired but I'm not.


----------



## alienbird

eveningbat said:


> Why forgotten?


No one pays attention to me or has time for me. I used to matter, but I don't anymore.

Eh... just feel forgotten and insignificant.


----------



## inerameia

Bored and alone


----------



## Amorphousanomaly

Phenibut hangover @[email protected]


----------



## bwells

Exhausted and hungry, haven't eaten since 6 o clock yesterday (it's 3 o clock p.m. now), didn't sleep either. I also got homework due tomorrow that I have no idea how to due and gotta drive home for the holidays where I gotta spend time with family that I am not looking forward to. So stressed as well.


----------



## T Studdly

Angry

Just angry

People are just....*sigh*


----------



## Nunuc

Weird ****ing day. Now I feel like crying and don't really know why...


----------



## mdiada

emotionally, i'm feeling pretty good.

physically, i feel like my hands are going to fall off from frost bite. it is so unbearably cold right now.


----------



## biscoto

sleepy.....


----------



## TenYears

angry, confused, hopeless and sad.


----------



## hasbeenpugged

tired and hungry


----------



## minimized

Deeeeeeeeath

It's so cold and I'm tired.


----------



## Cory R

Somewhat happy, rejoining a forum that is very supportive and uplifting.


----------



## AussiePea

Apprehensive, I really have no idea where my life will be in 2 months time, nothing it certain at the moment. Scary.


----------



## Nunuc

Not very well.


----------



## TryingMara

Insecure, kind of paranoid.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tense. I need a really thorough full body stretch


----------



## error404

Numb. Unloved. Alone. I feel...dead.


----------



## Parsnip

Thankful for the delete button.
Otherwise my brain is swimming against the tide and I should really try to sleep, maybe even ban myself from the computer for 48 hours. That should improve my mood greatly.


----------



## housebunny

stressed out


----------



## Justmeandmyguitar

Burnt, escaped death 3 times, lonely, looking for a soul mate. Ya know the run off into the sunset crap...only in Hollyweird.


----------



## eveningbat

Grand said:


> No one pays attention to me or has time for me. I used to matter, but I don't anymore.
> 
> Eh... just feel forgotten and insignificant.


I understand... It is good that we can vent about it here. Some folks do listen.


----------



## blue2

like a fuel injected suicide machine


----------



## BillDauterive

Nervous about my job. May I lose it due to always slacking off and half-***ing it?


----------



## blue2

Kimfeltham said:


> Hey I am new here. I just join this online community. And I am feeling happy.


sweet I like that...welcome..


----------



## LifeInACage

Great! I've just been indoor climbing and completed two lead routes....yay me!:boogie


----------



## Sachiko Sachiko

tired


----------



## SummerRae

Depressed, like I want to shoot myself in the face.


----------



## loophole

SummerRae said:


> Depressed, like I want to shoot myself in the face.


You sound exactly like me. I've said the same thing. Seriously and sarcastic. Quote just sounded way too much like me... kinda cool


----------



## probably offline

Too anxious to sleep.


----------



## TenYears

SummerRae said:


> Depressed, like I want to shoot myself in the face.


:hug You're not alone. I'm right there with you.


----------



## vanishingpt

I could be feeling better… I just can't wait for this year to end right now. I want Christmas to come around, get away from this city, and just enjoy the escape for a little while and come back to a fresh start.

I'm done with this semester. I feel like so much happened in so little time. I don't regret anything that's happened, I feel like I've learned a lot… but at the same time I'm not sure if all of this drama is necessary. Maybe I'm just not ready to handle so much at once… maybe I have some growing up to do…

I just wish I could be more honest with myself.


----------



## yna

I have a presentation to do in a few hours, yet I actually feel calm right now. Very suspicious. :um


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Despondent


----------



## Morgenstern

Bummed out.


----------



## TryingMara

Very low.


----------



## Irvy

Abrasive


----------



## Pompeii

Good, I think. I'm not sure. A little anxious perhaps. And irritated. Mostly good though.


----------



## Alas Babylon

Like a massive **** up? That pretty much sums it up. 

If you're reading this, sorry it got out of hand. I guess I have this thing where I keep digging myself into a deeper hole. I didn't mean to go off at you.


----------



## lov3np3ac3

Feeling like crap today.


----------



## Nunuc

Had my 4th ECT this morning. Compared to the time before ECT I'm feeling like a ****ing Super-Darth-Vader-Man.


----------



## Ganos Lal

Feeling crap, alone, once again waiting for friends to text back but they probably won't.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored and lonely


----------



## loophole

Pissed and euphoric at the same time... always feel invincible. Not a  thing. It's how I've felt since I can remember. I think I have sas and it's a good thing.. I could get in way more trouble with my bp.. my sas pretty much causes me to keep my mouth shut until I'm ready to strap on a suicide vest and go in whaling... which has only happened a hand full of times.. all but once did all of them fold right off the bat. And the other one did in about 30 seconds.. it's not a tough guy syndrome. It's just pure confidence. I don't portray it on the outside but on the inside it's always churning.. I bully myself to be better then everyone else when it comes to many things that matter to me.


----------



## My Name Here

Tired. I went to the hardware store today. Social anxiety really tires me out.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless & lonely


----------



## AceEmoKid

I'm probably not clinically insane, but that's the only way to describe how I feel right now. Insane. For lack of a better word.


----------



## millenniumman75

cold! I just got in from running in 60F weather, but the wet clothes are giving me the chills now.


----------



## uffie

unsure


----------



## Nunuc

Weird and stupid.


----------



## Kalliber

I feel good just tired


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Wake & bake


----------



## musiclover55

Nervous. Have finals next week and I need to make all A's :/


----------



## alenclaud

Kind of agitated of having to deal with this day (******* customer issue). But other that that, I'm fine I guess.


----------



## mind flip

Anxious. I have a test today and I NEED to get a good grade on it or else.


----------



## ManicXenophobe

I am feeling through the various nerve clusters that connect to my brain which interprets sensory data into unique experiences.


----------



## Nunuc

Run to the hills, the flood is coming! :cry
I shouldn't use the google to check how my childhood/teenhood-"friends" are doing.


----------



## Rocklover639

I feel tired and cranky and disappointed in myself today for feeling this way. I just wonder why I experience anxiety in SCHOOL ONLY.


----------



## diamondheart89

so sleepy and cranky


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I'm starving


----------



## Kalliber

Bit anxious


----------



## Raphael200

I don't know anymore


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## ApatheticDisplay

lonely


----------



## TryingMara

Disappointed, sad.


----------



## Beingofglass

Basicly like this:  Pictures don't lie :lol


----------



## catcharay

Really cosy. After 6 hrs in a car, I just had a shower and im now in bed, half watching life of pi.

sooo relieved. On the drive here I saw so many cute dogs running around and a lone miniature cat. im in a phase where im consistently yearning for a dog. Soon!

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired. I only napped a few hours before waking again for kick off


----------



## TryingMara

Tired and sick, but upbeat.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

~ Hungry
~ Itchy
~ Mildly Annoyed
~ Mild Headache


----------



## intheshadows

Grateful for a lazy Sunday.


----------



## DenizenOfDespair

I was feeling a bit melancholic earlier today but right now I feel pretty good.


----------



## hopeless93

I'm feeling pretty down.


----------



## hasbeenpugged

Pretty good. Woke up to a text message from someone, who very much interests me.
Had a walk in the sun, a chat with a cool store clerk, and now I am eating cookies.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious


----------



## jxsxixe

Scared worried


----------



## Glass Child

jxsxixe said:


> Scared worried


----------



## dcaffeine

happy, anxious, tired.


----------



## rosecolored

Stressed, lost, miserable, etc.


----------



## Kalliber

Anxious..):


----------



## hammerfast

Artardive


----------



## Nunuc

Slow and weird.


----------



## jad5

diamondheart89 said:


> Like an insecure blob.


sad and pathetic


----------



## low

Despondent and dissapointed with life.


----------



## sad vlad

Sick! Damn flu got me.:fall


----------



## karenw

Smokey im surprised the kitchens not on fire from the chicken.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy, hungry, & anxious


----------



## loophole

Stressed


----------



## EternalTime

Sad, stressed, a hint of jealousy


----------



## DenizenOfDespair

Inspired


----------



## DarrellLicht

mood-swingy


----------



## TenYears

Empty, lifeless, uninspired.


----------



## Charmeleon

Tired.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed


----------



## Nunuc

Absolutely fabulous


----------



## VinBZ

Uncertain.


----------



## lockS

Fail after fail after fail...sigh


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mildly anxious & hungry


----------



## Tinydancer20

Annoyed because people are extremely stupid


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Buzzed & lonesome


----------



## diamondheart89




----------



## Fruitcake

Absolutely bloody average. :3


----------



## Kalliber

I feel good


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy & slightly anxious


----------



## Nunuc

Tired.


----------



## Tokztero

Anxious


----------



## TryingMara

Not good. I was doing fine before, but now I'm feeling pretty bad about myself.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious & depressed


----------



## cuppy

kinda sad :c


diamondheart89 said:


>


^i like this though, heehee


----------



## Nunuc

Depressed.


----------



## housebunny

I just woke up...I slept for 5 hours last night and then went back to sleep for few more which is more than I usually get so you think I'd feel great but I actually feel kind of out of it.


----------



## Tokztero

I feel sick at heart.


----------



## Jcgrey

Nauseated


----------



## Canadian Brotha

~ Hungry
~ Groggy/lazy
~ A bit tense


----------



## ItsEasierToRun

I am so tired right now, I can't even words..


----------



## renegade disaster

frustrated I wanna say something but I feel it will be interpreted wrong.:no. this always fecking happens :blank


----------



## AceEmoKid

Worthless, unmotivated, illogical, pathetic. I am wondering why I even bother trying, since I will never be the "best," or at least be a master at something. 

I'm a one trick pony. I can only do art my way, music my way, writing my way, film my way. I'm not flexible. I don't know the basics of figure drawing, how the body bends and moves and stretches. I don't know how to compose with solid themes and ideas neatly executed in a logical order. I don't know how to write so that the reader can decipher my superfluous sentences. I don't know how to film a story and explain why this shot creates this effect, that timing means that, and this cut does this. 

I'm only good at exaggerating my narrow talents. Promising that I'm an expert card player when I only lucked out once or twice with a full house.


----------



## alienbird

Discouraged. 
And I'm tired... but I was going to go decorate cookies. :yawn


----------



## renegade disaster

AceEmoKid said:


> Worthless, unmotivated, illogical, pathetic. I am wondering why I even bother trying, since I will never be the "best," or at least be a master at something.
> 
> I'm a one trick pony. I can only do art my way, music my way, writing my way, film my way. I'm not flexible. I don't know the basics of figure drawing, how the body bends and moves and stretches. I don't know how to compose with solid themes and ideas neatly executed in a logical order. I don't know how to write so that the reader can decipher my superfluous sentences. I don't know how to film a story and explain why this shot creates this effect, that timing means that, and this cut does this.
> 
> I'm only good at exaggerating my narrow talents. Promising that I'm an expert card player when I only lucked out once or twice with a full house.


I know that feeling, keep plugging away and the more you put into your creative pursuits the more they will evolve and you will hone them. time with things counts for so much. don't give up!


----------



## TryingMara

Low. Feel like a loser.


----------



## RiversEdge

I feel like the crap on the bottom of someone's shoe.
(maybe that's a bit extreme...and gross)
but I have gotten nothing accomplished today at all. I feel like crap.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry


----------



## db192140

Depressed, need to see a doctor but my parents say depression doesnt exist.


----------



## shelbster18

I amount to nothing. I'm a white trash nobody.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious


----------



## Nunuc

Anxious.


----------



## Kalliber

Happy


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Like sh*t. Thanks for asking.


----------



## Pierre1

I feel worthless


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Still a bit groggy/lazy


----------



## mustangsally

cant sit still! my manager isnt here today and i STILL cant get this anxious energy away from me.


----------



## mezzoforte

Tired and sexually frustrated


----------



## TigerWithScarf

kinda alone, getting over recent heartbreak and wishing for something new... wanting to reclaim what I lost, it's given me more clarity, hmm not particularly sexually frustrated atm because I went wild earlier, curious, sleepy


----------



## architravels

Its completely depends on our mood and atmosphere.
Car Rental Services || Best Tour Package for Manali


----------



## DenizenOfDespair

Restless


----------



## Kalliber

Feel hyper lol


----------



## TigerWithScarf

I can't masturbate because a cat is watching me
frisky & hyper, cold toes


----------



## NoHeart

Good, amidst all this turmoil in my head recently, I have found some serenity in a 2 minute ambient piece of music. 

Perhaps it helps that winter break starts today, I don't want to think of any of the bull**** for a while and just relax.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & annoyed


----------



## cafune

I feel OK(calm). Like the 'I'll make it eventually' OK. I hope it lasts forever (one can dream)


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Happy, in the sense that I've have a pretty good day and covered a lot of important things I've been putting off because of "illness." Starting to tackle things head on again and it's actually getting me in the mood to celebrate the holidays with my mum. Up until now I've been seriously dreading the build up but im Hoping this will continue.. **** depression and anxiety, I'm going to make sure seeing out the end of this year doesn't end on a bad note.


----------



## Nunuc

Stupid and useless.


----------



## CharmedOne

Ohhh the usual... :um :doh :help me, :blush :fall ar :tiptoe :hide :stu
But somehow, today, it's striking me as kinda funny. :teeth



dontwaitupforme said:


> *Happy, in the sense that I have* a pretty good day and *covered a lot of important things I've been putting off because of "illness." Starting to tackle things head on again* and it's actually getting me in the mood to celebrate the holidays with my mum. Up until now I've been seriously dreading the build up but im *Hoping this will continue.. **** depression and anxiety*, I'm going to make sure seeing out the end of this year doesn't end on a bad note.


I can totally relate. Good luck. Hope it keeps up. More power to ya! Hoping for a good 2014 for all of us!


----------



## CharmedOne

TigerWithScarf said:


> I can't masturbate because a cat is watching me
> frisky & hyper, cold toes


Oh no, this response of mine isn't gonna stick around for long--it'll be one that gets rethunk and deleted, I'll bet... But 'til then, your post reminded me of the first story... "Catnip"...

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=13259534&show=comments&sort=desc&display=


----------



## gouldigger4219

Frustrated with myself and depressed


----------



## dontwaitupforme

CharmedOne said:


> I can totally relate. Good luck. Hope it keeps up. More power to ya! Hoping for a good 2014 for all of us!


Thank you. Good luck to you too


----------



## Boring Loser

I'm really excited that two people actually recognized me and remembered me even though i left here a long time ago and changed my name. They must remember the grumpy cat.


----------



## Zatch

based


----------



## Wacky Wednesdays

I'm feeling unexcited and I hate it. I have so much to be thankful for, awesome bf and in-laws, a steady well paying job. But it's like I'm stuck in a mental rut and I've been in constant state of meh :|


----------



## Dresden

I'm feeling an uncomfortable amalgamation of melancholy and euphoria.. make of that what you will.


----------



## Zatch

Laptop keyboard has a number pad that I never freakin' knew about before today.


----------



## Tibble

Lost and lonely, but kind of hopeful for the future..


----------



## Lish3rs

Sometimes I feel like I can evolve through a series of improvements.

Other times I feel like I just want to stop being me. And stop doing what I do.


----------



## Katherine93

I feel emotionally numb.


----------



## inerameia

I feel very bored, directionless and lonely. I want to get drunk, but I don't have any booze. Or better... get high, but I don't have weed.


----------



## Zatch

I feel like I'm sinking my teeth into rocks. I overcooked sausage biscuits and now I'm paying the price for its still-succulent taste.


----------



## lisbeth

Like ****. Since I started taking Zoloft the side effects have been beating me up like nothing else.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty decent, my feet and ankles hurt right now because I was jumping on and off a tuck loading and unloading furniture today for my job. Looking forward to cracking open a nice cold beer in another hour or so, and just relaxing for a bit. 

Christmas presents are starting to grow under my tree, the kids are excited, got some christmas toons playing, all is pretty good.


----------



## ineverwipe

Bad. I've been beating myself up over my past a lot these past few days. I've made a fool of myself to everyone that knew me. Plenty of people hate me because of who I used to be. Now im isolating myself so nothing bad happens.

Its been a year and a half and I'm still dwelling on the bad stuff. I feel like I'm not living anymore, just going through the motions.


----------



## Zatch

Perhaps I'm going to ultimately give up on something that would've most likely made me the happiest I've ever been. All because of how I feel about myself regarding it.


----------



## rosecolored

Horrible. Nothing ever works out quite right.


----------



## TheLonelyGhost

Feeling disappointed that it's getting late and I should probably go to bed when really I want to stay up all night.


----------



## Zatch

I feel like a newborn turkey.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Fairly neutral & a bit restless


----------



## cuppy

kinda sad and lonely, and tired too.


----------



## Zatch

Gettin' kinda bored...


----------



## Buerhle

Invisible


----------



## ApatheticDisplay

Got a headache, sad and lonely as usual. Just another typical night for me.


----------



## Buerhle

Reject


----------



## diamondheart89

Perplexed. It's hard to change who you were to who you are.


----------



## SilentLyric

anxious


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Enraged, depressed, frustrated, misled, lonely, rejected, hopeless, defective...the pot is stirred for worse


----------



## Betle1988

Tired, lonely, bored


----------



## Justmeandmyguitar

Bored, lonely, tired but can't sleep to save my life, talkative, creative, worrisome and just all over the map.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Emotionally wound up


----------



## CharmedOne

Giddy happy. Have relatives in town from California that I lurve, lurve, lurve. Last night was great, both out with family and once I got home even. I have good friends that are making me laugh... Friends that have been caring... Family has been good... I hope this lasts. Please last.


----------



## Zatch

Can't wait.


----------



## TenYears

Really depressed and hopeless. Not looking forward to the new year at all.


----------



## DenizenOfDespair

Bored


----------



## scooby

Tired and bothered. My lack of regular sleep is really getting to me. And it's too damn hot.


----------



## AlienJay

I feel alright at the moment. Lets see how long it lasts lol


----------



## Derailing

Depressed, lonely, hopeless, empty, and I just wanna feel something else but this like everyday, all day. -_-


----------



## thisismeyo

I'm kinda down but I can see a little bit of light right now, so hopefully I can get things on track


----------



## A Void Ant

Been sick past couple days. Lonely too. I'm okay with the lonely part (I'm used to it by now) but I hate being sick. Oh well. I'm feeling a bit better now.


----------



## markwalters2

Sometimes, I feel wood at the lower part of my body.


----------



## loophole

Christmas sucks more and more every year. Wife is a vindictive hypocrite that needs to get a life


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless & craving a herbal smoke


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry with a mild headache


----------



## ineverwipe

I'm alright. Mentally exhausted from a long week of working and being hard on myself. Ready for the weekend for sure.


----------



## DenizenOfDespair

Pretty good right now.


----------



## TryingMara

Feeling huge and gross today.


----------



## ApatheticDisplay

Got a headache, achy and have a sore throat. Hoping I'm not coming down with something :sigh


----------



## TenYears

Tired, and very depressed. I'm really missing someone right now. Life is not the same without them.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sweaty. Just finished exercising


----------



## mattmc

Lonely. Insecure. Pathetic. Selfish. *******.


----------



## To22

I wish the sun would come up already :/


----------



## thisismeyo

a little bit depressed


----------



## To22

I am snow bored


----------



## Raphael200

In love


----------



## Sabreena

The Coolest said:


> I am snow bored


Was that a pun? :b


----------



## Sabreena

I don't know how I feel. My emotions are all tangled.


----------



## Shizuma

A little bit broken


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless & mildly lonesome with a minor headache


----------



## Whatev

Sooo blah.


----------



## Justmeandmyguitar

Bored and lonely, but feel like I'm getting it together as far as SA is concerned.


----------



## DenizenOfDespair

Exhausted now.


----------



## prettyful

sick


----------



## loophole

To anyone who knows me. I'm just relaying what the voices in my head are saying. Don't shoot the messenger. I'm actually weirder then you think.


----------



## renegade disaster

depressed.


----------



## Mur

Sleepy


----------



## Raphael200

Sorry for someone


----------



## inerameia

Tired. Only got four hours of sleep. I


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit tired, a bit restless


----------



## SunshineSam218

Calm & Sleepy


----------



## Kalliber

I feel like throwing up.

Oh god I hope I'm not pregnant


----------



## Justmeandmyguitar

Feel like annoying the neighbours above me considering they kept me up half the night partying and…yea you know...

Maybe I'll crank my amp and play really bad on purpose haha.

Good idea? Yay or Nay?


----------



## Charmander

Achey. I cut myself accidentally while shaving and my gland got infected and the infection spread around my body. It's not been fun feeling exhausted at 10 PM.


----------



## hdth

sad, stressed, bored, and lonely


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Buzzed & lonesome


----------



## Nunuc

Very depressed.


----------



## inerameia

Dirty and depressed.


----------



## Kalliber

Mad but happy


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mildy anxious


----------



## pierceson07

Lonely, I'm also anxious about making a phone call to cancel an appointment tomorrow..I don't want to.. something so easy feels so hard to do.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Creatively stifled and frustrated with myself.

The one time I'm motivated to try to do something, I **** it up. I tried to write some songs today. Frustrated and everything is turning out like cliche crap. Went from electric to acoustic to piano. Nothing. Not a single good tune. Tried to draw. Turned out like ****, and I ruined the first page in my new sketchbook. Tried to sit down and begin writing a story. Can't think of any compelling ideas. Even tried filming things around my room and out the window, trying to get ideas....nothing. I hate this. I feel like ****, on top of having asthma.


----------



## copper

Had a sore throat all day. No matter what I do I can't alleviate it. I was feeling fine yesterday. So far this winter has been bad for everyone. If I feel like this I am not going to work. I hope my office mate is finally going to get in her butt into work. I am glad I got that Assessment done Friday which is due tomorrow.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Blah


----------



## inerameia

Sad and empty


----------



## aGenericUsername

Angry and sad.. and lazy


----------



## alienbird

Eager... 

Hmm.

xP


----------



## euphoria04

Depressed. Alone. Confident I can pull myself out of this, but scared of the process.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless with a mild headache


----------



## RelinquishedHell

The usual misery.


----------



## Owl-99

I'm feeling like I've got two nieces staying with us for up to 2 weeks.


----------



## burgerchuckie

Hopeful


----------



## copper

I think I have the flu. Came on quick Sunday. Started with a sore throat, moved to chills, muscle aches, then yesterday productive cough, stuffiness. I have been staying home. Don't want to be out in the extreme cold with this. I am unable to blow my driveway and it needs to get done.


----------



## Elad

I'm at that stage between caffeine rush and sleepy. I'm awake, a little jittery, but too lazy to do anything.


----------



## Odinn

Sad, Depressed


----------



## ineverwipe

Alright I guess. Feeling better than I have for the last few days at least.


----------



## mattmc

Like an ******* because the pipes are frozen.


----------



## cosmicslop

disappointed. my body just made the horrible decision of waking up. i've been up for 30 minutes now and i still can't adjust to staying awake. i hate coffee.


----------



## TviruZ

Angry frustrated and tired.


----------



## DenizenOfDespair

Really hyper


----------



## Arkiasis

Frustrated and guilty.


----------



## Ineko

broken hearted and suicidal
just a usual night for me


----------



## TryingMara

Nervous, but okay.


----------



## ineverwipe

I feel quite a bit better today. My mood might finally be lifting. I need that so bad


----------



## Canadian Brotha

That "after work" wound up feeling where you're both wired & coming down simultaneously


----------



## shelbster18

Let's see. I feel like there's no hope for any aspect of my life and my dad is only making me have less hope for the future. He just wants to make me miserable like him so he can ruin my life. It's like he's trying to manipulate me. I just wish he was dead already. I'm tired of hearing him yell. I'm tired of hearing him talk about money. I'm tired of seeing his face that looks like he wants to kill me. I'm tired of worrying about what he'll do to me if things go wrong for me. I'm tired of getting angry at him. I'm tired of him acting like I amount to nothing. I'm tired of him making me feel like ****. He just wants to bring me down. That's his goal in life. To make me ****ing miserable and he's doing a damn good job at it, too. It doesn't help that he compares me to my sister saying that I'll end up like her sorry ***.


----------



## DenizenOfDespair

Was a feeling a bit down earlier but right now I'm feeling okay.


----------



## diamondheart89




----------



## foe

Cold. As in freezing cold. I hate you, winter.


----------



## AceEmoKid

like i'm going to throw up and my eyeballs are about to fall out, gushing blood from their soulless black pits as my skull ruptures and i fall over, dead.

wouldn't that be great.


----------



## SummerRae

Lonely...even my SAS friends leave me..
:'c


----------



## ToughUnderdog

Very good. Ran 30 minutes on the treadmill and the weather cooled off so I was able to take the dog for a 30 minute walk. Feels great to be in the 50's now.


----------



## sanspants08

Physically unwell. Two hours and 49 min until I see the doctor.


----------



## TryingMara

Suprisingly, I'm in a good mood. Tired and a little bored, but feeling good.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Accidentally found the tumblr of someone I used to go to school with: http://kidkillingdays.tumblr.com/

Feeling sick to my stomach with jealousy because she excels at nearly every single hobby/interest I have, a thousand fold. Holy ****. Literature, self reflection, social issues, psychology, learning new languages, japanese culture, art....Not to mention the bajillion other interests she has that she is also really awesome at.

Plus she has tons of friends on tumblr who she has long conversations with in posts.

ugh why


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired/frail with a stomach ache & minor headache


----------



## Idontgetit

Numb, comfortably.


----------



## ineverwipe

I'm doing better than I was earlier that's for sure. Wasn't feeling too hot today, had a killer headache and everything. It helps that it's dark now, my head has finally stopped throbbing.

Plus I'm having chicken tonight for dinner and that sounds so good right now. I barely ate today so I'm sure I need it. Probably end up feeling even better.

Thank god its Friday, I can stay up late and watch Ancient Aliens haha.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Exhausted and angry. I've gone another 2 days without sleep. I worked 25 hours in those 2 days and had to do some more selling so I can pay my soulless land lord.


----------



## inerameia

Tired, lazy and depressed. Need to smoke some weed.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Still ill. Mild fever, gut rot/stomach ache, frail/tired from lack of nutrients


----------



## Ineko

pissed the **** off, I'm sick of ****ing being so goddamn alive and having deal with my ****ing jerry springer ****ed up life!!


----------



## sacrosanct

Tired, lethargic, dysphoric... it always gets pretty bad around the winter and near my birthday. Hopefully, if I'm lucky, I'll get to somewhat content and then bounce back again in the spring.


----------



## renegade disaster

today i'm sick,I drank way too much last night, pretty much the whole bottle.I usually don't go that crazy. I threw up blood earlier. not sure what that is about as I don't think i've ever seen blood in my sick before. i'll have to ask the doctor when I next see him. not gonna google it as i'll only make myself too worried.


----------



## Spritz11

I'm just angry at everything


----------



## UNRNDM1

Exhausted, blank, tired, blah, easily agitated. Idk January is always a really bad month for me. Sometimes it goes into the month of February as well for the first couple weeks


----------



## Idontgetit

euphoric


----------



## Ineko

I want a bf or even just the f lol


----------



## T Studdly

Friend making me feel stupid again


----------



## loophole

Bought a nice hand gun for home defense.. be 3 kids and wife.. am bipolar.. no one at risk. But don't like people telling me..


----------



## Ineko

loophole said:


> Bought a nice hand gun for home defense.. be 3 kids and wife.. am bipolar.. no one at risk. But don't like people telling me..


lucky.... cause I tend to off myself I'm not allowed to have one in the house


----------



## TenYears

Very, very tired. My kids wore my *** out this weekend. I am getting old, there is no denying it anymore. I can't shoot hoops like I used to, I can't run with them like I used to. I'm now that tired, turning-grey old man that tries to keep up. F***. My. Life.


----------



## inerameia

Meh


----------



## DenizenOfDespair

Feeling pretty good so far today.


----------



## Idontgetit

I don't know


----------



## inerameia

I'm feeling extraordinarily tired.


----------



## owls

banana split


----------



## Ineko

sad and lonely and old and ugly


----------



## Ineko

As I write this my words flow into the abyss of darkness know as the black hole of the internet. My depression and loneliness, is triggering my suicidalness. my sons bday is next week, must hold on.....


----------



## ineverwipe

Not very well today. I've been having trouble pooping and my stomach is upset with me. I'm having an anger filled day again as well. Can't seem to let go of this past bs.
I just want to go to bed and hope tomorrow will be better


----------



## Idontgetit

likeaspacemonkey said:


> Extremely Lonely and Incredibly Closed.
> 
> In all seriousness though, these last few days were ****ing awful. And I do feel like I'm alone in the universe.


----------



## strayshadow

I'm feeling better than when i first logged in here. More numb and tired. But still better. And I laughed once or twice. It felt really, really nice.


----------



## To22

I'm imagining a fragile plastic bag full of fuel being pierced with a needle in random places. I don't know when and I don't know how often, but there has been a breach lol.


----------



## Farcical Dreamer

empty


----------



## vanishingpt

Roller coaster of emotions today. Started out pretty chipper, had an hour work out at the school gym, headed to class and had some good class discussions, good conversations with a good friend of mine, headed home... had a bit of a meltdown. I'm not sure if I regret saying certain things to a certain someone... but I think deep down, I know it's for the best. Decided to work out to get my mind off things, ending the night by posting stuff on this forum since I haven't done that in a while... and probably going to bed soon.

It's what I'm trying to do to move on. Gotta get my mind off someone... but I know it's going to be pretty hard for a bit...


----------



## AceEmoKid

Achy, anxious, aloof.


----------



## inerameia

So bored with life. And anxious.


----------



## sad vlad

Numb, bored and melancholic.


----------



## Kalliber

Body aches


----------



## EternalTime

I feel happy for this morning so far.


----------



## SeraphSoul

Contemplative & a little worried about my life, my future. {=/


----------



## diamondheart89

Happy and excited


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit anxious about returning to work tomorrow


----------



## PandaBearx

Better than usual, but kinda lonely.


----------



## shelbster18

Feeling like crap again. Yay. Apparently being uncomfortable around your family is "terrible." Why is it that everyone has to say bad things about me? I'm just a ****ty person. If there was a clone of me, I'm sure things wouldn't be any better for my clone. That's how ****ty I am.


----------



## diamondheart89




----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted after work + a mild beer buzz


----------



## mattmc

Sad, stupid, afraid, rejected, pathetic


----------



## MCHB

Well, today I had a Depression/anxiety relapse; my thought patterns scared me at work, leading to my leaving early at such a point that I was barely able to drive home (in retrospect I should not have driven home.) I'm Taking a couple of days off work (two day medical leave) and thinking that it might be time to consider a new career. Honestly at this point I'm even considering seeing a psychiatrist or support group if there are any local ones. I don't want to feel this way anymore. I wouldn't wish this stuff on anyone. If I didn't have the moral support of my family, I don't know what I'd do; truth be told, I try not to think about it. :blank


----------



## HanSolo

anxious...need to sleep, go handle some business, then go to bars tonight


----------



## housebunny

overwhelmed


----------



## Canadian Brotha

High & lazy


----------



## TryingMara

Sleepy :yawn


----------



## hg1993

*opening up*

I grew up in a middle class family where I always had what I needed, usually had what I wanted. Extremely religious family. I never encountered a specific traumatic experience. I have an incredibly hard time opening up to people and have actually only done it twice, both times I was drunk. I trace my issues to my parent's relationship, a loveless marriage. They have always been there financially for me. They expect success and are judgmental of my friends, hobbies, and relationships. My parents are GREAT people but I really hardly have a relationship with either of them. They were constantly fighting throughout my entire life and have never displayed any form of affection. My dad told me multiple time in my early teen years how he's wished he dated my mom longer, so they wouldn't have gotten married. He once called me during my freshman year of college to let me know he hadn't spoken to my mom in 2 weeks and that he was wanting to get a divorce. He was ranting to me his problems he had with her... trying to get me on his "side". My family never went on trips together or bonded together. My dad worked nights my entire life. I, along with all my siblings, assumed my parents were waiting for us kids to graduate before they got a divorce. They recently bought a house together and I can only assume they plan on staying together. I'm 20 years old and have never discussed any of these issues with anyone. I wonder if I should seek counseling. I have a really hard time even believing something that is not directly impacting me could result in my own inability to form proper relationships... but I'm starting to think it might.... advice please!


----------



## AceEmoKid

Slightly nauseous, my stomach sinking and my head weighing me down with a dull ache. Blinking rapidly despite dry eyes, stale breath, vision fogging over, shapes blinking in and out of focus. I ought to sleep but I'm not sleepy. I feel like I'm stumbling, staggering drunk through the busy city at night, neon signs bombarding me from every distorted angle in some epileptic prank until I tumble over, blind, stupid, and reeling.


----------



## shiningknight

Lost my job almost two months ago and have completely useless since.


----------



## inerameia

.


----------



## Euripides

Tired. In every connotation of the word. Afraid of existence. Terribly afraid. Everything is surreal. My life some kind of damned poetic drama film. Wondering if I'm losing my grasp on judging reality from insanity. Or if there is a line in the sand at all. Or if I even really matter. If I ever did. Or ever will. If you are forgotten, whether that part of you dies with the memory that has been purged. Whether something or someone exists if you're the only one left keeping it alive. Whether it is more terrifying to forget or be forgotten, or live a few decades more or not to exist at all. Useless and unwanted even by my own standards. A flawed instrument of evil. My demons having no one else's to play and make nice with. No one who ever asks or cares. Or tries to understand. Who would want to? Not a soul. Filled with compassion and anguish for the plight of others but none do I keep for my own. And it bothers me to no end to have to let it out somewhat. All I've known is holding in and holding fast. No use in complaining. Ever onwards and reaching upwards. But I'm sure even Sisyphus has to take a lunchbreak now and then to feel sorry for his predicament when the boulder comes crashing down for the infinith time. And so here I am. Appel du vide, my old flame. Here again. I wish I wasn't. If I ever, ever make it far away enough and should happen to cross your path again, it shall be a thousand times a thousand years too soon. 

But carrying on. Always.


----------



## EnigmaticKid

stupid


----------



## PandaBearx

Nostalgic.


----------



## Freiheit

Kind of annoyed. It snowed a crapton where I live and I have to go to work tonight for half a shift.


----------



## ratbag

Warm and sleepy


----------



## sad vlad

...


----------



## ineverwipe

Better than I have been for the last few days. Finally ate more than one meal today and it really helped.

I have my appointment tomorrow to get my medical marijuana recommendation renewed. So hopefully I'll have some weed by Friday or Saturday. Then I'll be all back to normal again. I barely have an appetite if I dont smoke.


----------



## oku

I'm scared of not being able find a stable job and will end up living in cardboard boxes.


----------



## Mochyn

Pleasantly tired.


----------



## Diagnonsense

Glad that someone finally asked.... 
wishing I had anyone to talk to...
knowing Im a jerk who doesn't like most people and probably wont talk to many(not trying to be offensive, see below)....
hoping someone else uses rudeness and sarcasm to cover the fact that they're truly petrified....
Wondering if I'm the only one who uses humor so I'm laughed with, and not at, and my perception of how I'm percieved can be as such....
Wanting someone to relate to, because I'm alone tonight, and these walls are loud, and this silence is creating a lump in my throat. These texts mean nothing and the replys wont be sent. I don't even know what I want.... I just don't want to feel like this...


----------



## HanSolo

welcome to the asylum Diagnonsense

I'm tired, but my brain is in an active state....my sleep patterns are messed up as usual

I have to be awake from about 1030pm - 8am Thur-Sun so that I can go to bars come home, and go to work for a little bit around 530am

I'm supposed to be asleep ages ago........I better not ruin this weekend by being super tired

I was sad over girls earlier, but talking and helping with advice here changed that.....now dream time


----------



## Lish3rs

A lil depressed. I'm going to lay low for awhile.


----------



## Ineko

I've been having light headed problems most of the day


----------



## luffyenvelope

Lonely and scared. Very scared..


----------



## nothing else

depressed


----------



## scintilla

Terrible. I hope this doesn't turn into a full blown cold.


----------



## TenYears

Very anxious. I need to calm down. I'm so, so nervous about this f***ing group therapy tomorrow. I keep thinking "it's not going to go well, you aren't going to fit in, you're way more messed up than anyone else there, you're going to regret going". And on and on and on.


----------



## To22

tokyo time lapse


----------



## Ineko

so very alone, I'm tired of being neglected.


----------



## Mochyn

My hip hurts and that's upsetting me but I think/hope it's my job that's making my hip hurt, that's why I quit today. So hopefully in a week my hip will no longer hurt.... unless it's not my job that is hurting my hip, then I'd be down a job and still have a searing pain in my hip.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Incurably lonely.


----------



## MentalWreck

Good news. I overcame a panick attack. I felt it coming on and instead of giving up I fought it. Ive been feeling like crap for weeks now. People walk all over me at work. My husband picks my nerves. My family members constantly drain me. I knew a panic attack was coming on but I fought it and said this is not going to happen tonight.


----------



## Owl-99

Despondent and longing to be dead.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I'm feeling a whole lot like Justin Beebee with no fans.


----------



## inerameia

Mood swing was intense today. I think I slept it off though. Feeling restless and wanting to drink.


----------



## alienbird

Okay...


----------



## housebunny

discouraged


----------



## Ineko

hurt and lonely


----------



## renegade disaster

physically,i'm knackered and suffering from a cold.
mentally, blah.

on the upside i'm looking forward to getting some things sorted next week.


----------



## Ineko

tired but mentally awake


----------



## alienbird

Like woaaaah.


----------



## Ally

Good, kinda manic but also a little annoyed


----------



## VinBZ

So cold.


----------



## EternalTime

Great


----------



## Silent girl

a bit lonely, but alright i guess


----------



## Pagan18

Very upset, lonely, and depressed.


----------



## catelyn

Confused and left out but on the other side I don't care, I'll manage.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I'm in a bad ****ing mood.


----------



## anxious87

I was busy at work today, so I feel alright. Didn't have a chance to think about my problems. Now I feel somewhat motivated to improve myself - have no choice really because I have a work outing coming up that I need to act "normal" for


----------



## Derailing

My brain feel fried. I need to finish my homework, but it's so tedious and sleep sounds so good right now...aaack!


----------



## inerameia

I feel so agitated. Like I wanna punch the walls. I feel like a trapped animal in a zoo. I wish we didn't have zoos. Animals should be in nature. We think we're so much better than them. If aliens came and put us in zoos I wonder how that would be. Maybe earth is really secretly just a zoo.


----------



## Ineko

just had a manic crying fit, my heart hurts so damn bad


----------



## alienbird

Ineko said:


> just had a manic crying fit, my heart hurts so damn bad



I'm sorry. Just... hang in there. 
:squeeze


----------



## Ineko

Grand said:


> I'm sorry. Just... hang in there.
> 
> :squeeze


thanks :/


----------



## inerameia

Gotta say 3mg of Klonopin worked against the 30mg of Adderall. I feel better but still a little sketched out. Maybe Nardil would be better for me. I have a feeling I won't be able to keep up this regimen I'm on.


----------



## Crimson Lotus

My day of reckoning is closing in and I'm not sure if I can delay it much more. 

All I wanted was to do something truly positive for someone and not spoil it afterwards for a change, so that at least someone remembers me fondly but I'm not sure if that's possible anymore, there's so little time.


----------



## redstar312

I didn't cry today! Though, the day's not over, I suppose.


----------



## Owl-99

If I had Nembutal I would take it.


----------



## Ineko

sleepy, regret, lonely


----------



## AceEmoKid

For once, okay. Well, not physically. I have a sore throat, a headache, my neck & back ache, and overall I'm exhausted. But at least my mood seems to be somewhat stable, perhaps a bit jittery.


----------



## Bawsome

Had some crazy dreams last night so today i feel pretty amazing and generally up for taking on the day in the coolest way possible.


----------



## mike91

Im feeling good but that just because I just bought a new car once it wears off I will probably go back to been sad


----------



## Grog

Mentally - numb
Physically - sunburnt


----------



## Ineko

terribly alone


----------



## SaladDays

Jolly!


----------



## gamerguy

I got hit the face with a frisbee at the beach today and it made my nose bleed. So I feel kind of sore lol.


----------



## euphoria04

Incapable of expressing my thoughts openly now that there are people on this site who know me. The dark felt so much safer.


----------



## Nunuc

Depressed as ****.


----------



## Ineko

lonely and cold


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Reflective.. Chilled.


----------



## Greenleaf62

Stressed and confused.


----------



## Ineko

empty and wet


----------



## JakeBoston1000

Ineko said:


> empty and wet


I get the empty part but... wet??:sus


----------



## Ineko

JakeBoston1000 said:


> I get the empty part but... wet??:sus


manic crying, so my face and clothes were wet


----------



## TheWelshOne

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid...


----------



## JakeBoston1000

Ineko said:


> manic crying, so my face and clothes were wet


oh sorry. Manic crying? That sounds both good and bad, is it?


----------



## Ineko

JakeBoston1000 said:


> oh sorry. Manic crying? That sounds both good and bad, is it?


its bad


----------



## JakeBoston1000

Ineko said:


> its bad


Sorry to hear that.You can pm me anytime if you feel like getting something off your chest. If not I hope you are feeling better soon.:hug


----------



## Ineko

JakeBoston1000 said:


> Sorry to hear that.You can pm me anytime if you feel like getting something off your chest. If not I hope you are feeling better soon.:hug


thanks


----------



## TenYears

Ineko said:


> manic crying, so my face and clothes were wet


I'm sorry. :hug I just saw your post. I wish I could be there to give you a real hug. I'm very depressed today, wondering if I'm having a "depressive episode". idk wtf is wrong with me today. I hope you feel better. I'm here if you want to talk. I don't bite (lol).


----------



## cosmicslop

I'm in a creative drought. Nothing's bad but nothing's particularly invigorating either.


----------



## Itta

A little sad,and anxious.


----------



## meganmila

I'm feeling all sickly, geezzz


----------



## HollaFlower

Upset, questioning my problems.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Nostalgic whilst listening to the 358/2 Days soundtrack. I really want to pull out my DS and play it through all over again, but it'll distract me from homework. Even more so, I want to go home and replay the console KH games. I haven't played console games (well, besides one or two times during winter break, and my classmate's xbox and ps3) since summer. :cry


----------



## AxeDroid

Back to my old self but still wondering.


----------



## Zashlin

Empty and depressed


----------



## 000XXX000

fat, tired, depressed, but mostly bored. maybe my boredom will drive me out of the house.


----------



## rikkie

Not that great, but calm. It's just one of those evenings where I'm logged out of every social network and don't plan on going back on until tomorrow the earliest.


----------



## AntisocialnExhausted

Feeling restless. Partially due to upcoming licensing exam and partially due to countless obstacles/problems that seem impossible to figure out (even though I am one strong person who always find a way to every impossible situation) yet, at times, I feel like just giving up and falling down to be picked up by someone, just once may be...to be told that it is okay, it is okay to fall down, and get a hug, may be? lol I don't know...there is just nothing but chaotic thoughts right at this moment. And also sort of upset at myself for being a worrying wart thinking anything and everything is my problem since I got to know about it. But then why shouldn't it be my problem? I am a part of this world, and we all have some part to resolve each other's problems. Ah! so confused and confusing!!


----------



## inerameia

Lonely


----------



## Itta

Feeling quite good right now.


----------



## xtremeguy

Tired and regretful.


----------



## Ineko

lonely and tired very tired


----------



## AceEmoKid

Ill. I sung so loudly today for a cover song I was recording that my throat has turned raw and red. I also have a splitting headache, which I can feel in my temples and between my brows. My ears are stinging from walking through the windy, misty night on my 15 minute walk back from class.


----------



## mcmuffinme

I got drugs- I feel like dancing!


----------



## ASB20

I'm pissed at someone at work for dropping the ball that cost me on a project I'm working on ATM. Waiting to respond to their latest email until I can let my anger dissipate somewhat.

Grr. Just makes you mad when someone can't hold up their end of the bargain when they said they would. 

On the plus side, I'm smashing anxiety tonight with a bottle of vodka and some Rolling Stones.


----------



## drNYster

Great. Having a good week, hope everyone's is great or getting better.


----------



## itisabigworld19

I feel sad,a bit confused,bored and lost.


----------



## spitfire444

Same as previous poster from Scotland


----------



## MCHB

mcmuffinme said:


> I got drugs- I feel like dancing!


Somebody's been into the "fuqitol" again! 

Oh, and Tired. A whole slew of other stuff, but too tired to care tonight.


----------



## TryingMara

Lonely and sad.


----------



## inerameia

Disliked


----------



## Mochyn

Like I shouldn't have eaten that 3rd protein bar, like I shouldn't have gone so hard at the gym the night after... going so hard at the gym.

Like maybe I could go some nudes :teeth


----------



## CopadoMexicano

left out


----------



## To22

I've been feeling a lot of negative energy lately. 
Don't know what to do about it.


----------



## Charmeleon

I feel good yet I also feel utterly crappy :/


----------



## 0589471

I was feeling pretty good this morning but now...I don't even know anymore. I can't think straight and my feelings are all chaotic. I feel so shut out and pushed away. I wish I could just sleep in tomorrow and not wake up until the weekend.


----------



## burgerchuckie

Chill and relaxed (CHILLAX)


----------



## AceEmoKid

Exhausted. I fell into actual deep sleep nearly everywhere I went today: The waiting room, In and Out, in the car waiting for my mum to finish grocery shopping, and then finally in my bed for 3 hours by the time we got home. The only thing that woke me up was the constant nagging of my mum to take my medication. I was so weak, I could barely move. I felt like a vegetable. I was just lying there on my side for what seemed an hour wondering how I could coerce my body into getting up, a string of drool connecting my mouth to the blankets, my hot, foggy breath reminding me of days I was physically ill. I feel emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted.


----------



## Marakunda

Excited, like really excited.

Ellen Page apparently came out as gay yesterday. Can't say I'm really that surprised but, still, for it to be actually official is really cool. For some reason though, my mind is just blown. ****in psyched right now man. That's pretty great news! Just watched the video of her coming out. That "Happy Valentines day, I love you." at the end was SO sweet. 

Also, I'm watching a ten hour stream of my favorite person ever playing a really interesting game. Sipping tea and chillin too. Life's good. 

Valentines day was pretty great man!


----------



## AceEmoKid

Marakunda said:


> Ellen Page apparently came out as gay yesterday. Can't say I'm really that surprised but, still, for it to be actually official is really cool. For some reason though, my mind is just blown. ****in psyched right now man. That's pretty great news!


Just watched a video of her speech upon your mention. That's pretty awesome. I admire celebrities, and people in general, who are able to use their popularity and connections selflessly to speak through the lens or social issues, philanthropy, and human rights. A lot of what she said about norms resonated with me. I wasn't especially surprised she's gay either (never paid attention or cared), but still, cool beans.


----------



## Tokztero

A little anxious because I think my parents gave away my rare video game collection and a 4 year old gaming PC i left at their house.


----------



## pavane ivy

Groggy, & not feeling motivated to do much today. Some neighbors at the apartment I'm at are starting to annoy me.


----------



## GrainneR

Very lonely, and unmotivated to work out. But I definitely will go to the gym. Gotta work off all of those calories from drinking yesterday.


----------



## Slaeth

Remorseful, regretful, lost, alone, yet I still feel quite good. Wheeeeee!


----------



## PandaBearx

I think okay which is relatively good for me, yes. I want to do something today though like go out......so I'm hoping I can. Just kind of stinks the weather is icky and it's supposed to snow _again_ :sigh hoping this will be the last time but most likely it won't be.


----------



## Nunuc

Depressed, depressed, depressed, unable to do anything.
Good night, cruel ****ing world!


----------



## AceEmoKid

just really depressed again


----------



## AceEmoKid

Wow, when I thought life couldn't slap me in the face any harder, I realize I _am_ pretty ****ing retarded. I can't do anything right.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Glazed over.


----------



## greggs92

The Coolest said:


> I've been feeling a lot of negative energy lately.
> Don't know what to do about it.


Write down all the things in life that your are grateful for, even if you think you haven't got any...you have! spend a few minutes thinking about what makes you happy/grateful.


----------



## greggs92

feeling on top of the world...because I choose to! everything in life is a choice, learn to be in control and make your own choices


----------



## Mikebissle

Kinda bleh, a little lazy and guilty for not completely sticking to my "life schedule", but that'll pass.


----------



## Noll

Slow


----------



## loophole

Literally sick. Very sore. Very sad and depressed.... Don't gotta fe sorry for me... Just answering the title..


----------



## ineverwipe

I'm doing alright today. Haven't been beating myself up too much today so that's pretty awesome. Considering how the past week or so has gone.


----------



## Justlittleme

like a chipmunk. so basically, not human.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Bittersweet? Maybe.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Depressed and bored as usual. All the days blur. I know I will not remember a single one of them, let alone with fondness, as I have done nothing but waste away the hours to alternating daze and misery. I have never done anything important, valuable, or fulfilling in my life. Everything just feels empty. I would be so content to just die now, right in this moment, but I know I have to take action in order to make my death a reality. 

Haha, now where did these tears come from?


----------



## GrainneR

Alone, and forgotten, and self- destructive.
Completely abandoned. Unloveable.
And it's only 10!


----------



## Jesuszilla

Depressed, bored and a little drunk.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mildly buzzed


----------



## AceEmoKid

Years of ennui have left me cold and aloof. I'm rather disconnected from reality at present.


----------



## Ineko

Phys. doc tomorrow morning
I really need to find some form of help, I am sinking and no one gives a ****

And If one person says commit yourself i will drive to your house and deck you out cold!
getting that kind of "help" is **** when you come home to say crap day after day


----------



## something there

Lost. Anxious.


----------



## Derailing

I'm feeling down in the dumps...no...more like swimming in the sewers. I just wanna move away from all these people to a place where no know can recognize me and I can start off on my own.....finally free


----------



## Charmeleon

Lethargic.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

I ate so much Indian food that I'm bloated.


----------



## gamerguy

guilty and confused


----------



## pavane ivy

Just one of those days where I want to lay under my blanket & forget this world exists.


----------



## Tibble

So much suffering. That's all there is in life. But of course, if you're a normal person, you don't see these things.


----------



## herk

socially retarded


----------



## GirlAfraid23

Poorly


----------



## AceEmoKid

terrified 
FFFFFF
if i was at home i'd scream and run to my mum or my sisters and tell them about the huge ****ing spider that just crawled in my drawer even if they couldn't do anything about it
i'm staying away from my desk until i leave for spring break this weekend holy crap


----------



## Marakunda

Feeling bored.

Which is funny because I should be asleep right now. What the hell am I doing?


----------



## pavane ivy

Mellow & content.


----------



## Ineko

in pain, my head is killing me


----------



## ManuelVinn

college is about to start, I am feeling anxious
hardly I get something good and it doesn´t end up being a trap or I ruin it


----------



## Mur

Alright.


----------



## pavane ivy

Groggy & forlorn, I always feel that way after sleeping too much.


----------



## Nunuc

Wibbly wobbly ****ed up.
Herdy derpressed.


----------



## probably offline

Great! Just G R E A T. 

/hysterical laughter


----------



## TheWelshOne

Like I should never insult the outside world with my presence ever again


----------



## cafune

I feel beautiful (and I don't mean physically) and grief at the loss of two someones I never had, or ever will ;_; (but I like to pretend that in some other life, I did; it gives me peace)


----------



## AceEmoKid

Upset. Like a hypersensitive crybaby.


----------



## loophole

Pneumonia plus a worsening infection in my lungs... Bipolar not helping the immune system. When depressed. Body shuts down more. Had a fever of 104.5 been to er twice. Dr twice. 3 e x-rays another one Tuesday.. Been on sick leave for 3 weeks. Least I'm getting 90 percent pay.....


----------



## TryingMara

Not great. There's always one day a month where I break down and the feelings of sadness and worthlessness take hold. This morning was it. Although the crying spell has passed, those feelings will remain for the rest of the day.


----------



## Maryanne1986

tired of being low - enjoying my new flat by myself after being here for 5 months (first 3 were with a heartless son of a b***h  )


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Comfortable, alone, and frustrated.


----------



## Kalliber

Crappy ):


----------



## mr hoang

Alone, Fantastic thanks to good old music!


----------



## AceEmoKid

Tired.


----------



## ApathyDivine

Tired, a bit lonely


----------



## Tibble

A bit better now.


----------



## AceEmoKid

vaguely melancholic, despondent, listless, buried in ennui...


----------



## kjwkjw

bad ;/
:/ ;(

I want a girl here..


----------



## Kalliber

Anxious for work ):


----------



## euphoria04

Undeserving of good things.


----------



## EternalTime

Calm.


----------



## Headband

Pissed, sad and depressed that I bombed my interview.


----------



## Glass Child

Sleeepyyy


----------



## TenYears

Still kind of creeped out. I went to pick up dry cleaning today, and was at the drive-thru waiting for him to get my stuff and I started texting on my phone. I realized it had been a while so I looked up, and this guy is standing there on the other side of the window staring at me, completely still, motionless, just staring at me. So after a few secs I say "uh, yeah, here" and hand him my credit card. And then he gives me the creepiest smile and says "I always seem to sneak up on you". Freak. I don't need that ****, I have enough problems dealing with normal people.


----------



## AceEmoKid

what what WHAT is happening (in a good way??????)


----------



## Ineko

still up at almost 4am, not looking towards this weekend or this ****ing week


----------



## Perkins

I feel better since I had pizza tonight for the first time in months.


----------



## honeysky

"meh." that about sums it up


----------



## Tibble

Isolated. Numb. Broken. Each day feels like I'm getting worse and worse. How did I end up like this -_-


----------



## AceEmoKid

Exhausted. :/ A 4 hour birthday dinner for my sister...including not just family members but her new boyfriend, who kept exhausting me with questions. I didn't understand a lot of his commentary, especially his slang. I think he was trying to be humorous, and everyone else was laughing except me, who frankly had no idea what was going on.


----------



## zonebox

Slightly intoxicated  Pretty good, plus I have a lot of things to look forward to. I'm taking my family camping later this month, I will likely buy an outboard for my sailboat here shortly, fix up the trailer for it, and do a few other repairs, I have a few projects to do around the house. Plus I'm going back to college here shortly. Before you know it, I'll be sailing around the gulf coast on my days off, can't wait. My house will have a few improvements, and I'll have a bit more knowledge.

Life is good. Things are looking pretty amazing from my perspective right now, there is a lot to look forward to.


----------



## inerameia

I feel kind of embarrassed for being so personal on here. But I'm also trying to be content with being a lone wolf.


----------



## AceEmoKid

i'm in reverse again. regretful. wishing i could erase the past couple years, to see if i could have done it any better. hell, wishing i could erase my entire life, except for the positive bits, but that's not possible.


----------



## Tibble

Mixed feelings. Depressed, hopeful, confused, lost. I keep going in circles. Maybe I need somebody in my life to show me the way because I can't figure this out on my own :/


----------



## DomeAloud

I hate sundays. Bored. :blank


----------



## PandaBearx

Trapped.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Hollow. Traces of sadness and anger.


----------



## loophole

Manic depressed state


----------



## ineverwipe

Eh I'm disappointed that my weekend is over already. It flew by like nothing I swear. But oh well it can't last forever. I'll feel better once I get done with work tomorrow. And I only work for a couple hours anyway lol. So I'm just being lazy . At least I put some good music on my phone that I can jam at work.

We're having chicken for dinner tonight too so that lifts my mood a bit


----------



## AceEmoKid

5 minutes back here, away from all other humans, i am already crying.


----------



## euphoria04

sharp pangs of shame concerning the past and present. but i think this time it may be cathartic, i hope


----------



## TryingMara

Good, I'm in a happy mood. Wish these feelings would last forever.


----------



## euphoria04

euphoria04 said:


> sharp pangs of shame concerning the past and present. but I think this time it may be cathartic, i hope


I remember. I remember how & why.


----------



## Justmeandmyguitar

Can't live, can't die, trapped in myself, bodies my holding cell.


----------



## ApathyDivine

Pretty awesome at the moment, for now anyway


----------



## coeur_brise

Nunuc said:


> Wibbly wobbly ****ed up.
> Herdy derpressed.


Same here, man. I know that feel, in those exact words. lol


----------



## To22

Conflicted, confused, irritated, and a bit ridiculous because of it.


----------



## Marakunda

Bored, Depressed, kinda horny.

Mostly bored.


----------



## AceEmoKid

greasy and achy and heavy and glum.


----------



## Nunuc

Old and depressed.


----------



## dexlab

Worried and on edge - got a meeting in half an hour I don't want


----------



## starsfreak

I just feel extremely ugly and will probably never get a girlfriend


----------



## starsfreak

Torn apart by feelings and emotions.


----------



## inerameia

I feel better now that I've smoked some weed


----------



## AceEmoKid

Not particularly pleasant, perhaps mildly anxious and a bit achy. 

But guess what? I'm not feeling depressed right now. I'm not thinking about bad things. I am just tuning them out. I am distracting myself and channeling all my energy into activities that make me feel productive and skilled. Probably staying away from SAS until after I finished necessary tasks helped. A lot. And now that I have shoved SAS time over into my typical depressed-insomniac-thinking-time, I am ready to go to read fanfiction on my tablet beneath my covers before falling asleep, having had no extra time to gravitate towards introspection and negative thought patterns.

And for the absence of that one emotion, I am feeling the best I have in months.


----------



## Hussle

indifferent right now


----------



## Citrine

Not exactly helpful.


----------



## TryingMara

Tired, but good.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

awful


----------



## dcaffeine

Okay, at the moment. I will probably feel sad, lonely, and disappointed with myself in a few hours though.


----------



## starsfreak

Can someone just kille me please? You would do me a favour.


----------



## Mittens76

Scared and kind of hopeful and not in a good way :|


----------



## idontknowreallly

i feel smelly. need to shower asap


----------



## AceEmoKid

the pipes in the wall are rumbling gently and i can hear the water siphoning swiftly, scarcely scraping the rusty insides of the metal, creating a soft whistle. i am drinking the remains of lukewarm instant coffee in my favorite skull mug and i have my corner lamp on near my bed, providing a soft, orange-yellow glow. the ambience is nice to say the least. i feel quaint.


----------



## TryingMara

Very tired.


----------



## AceEmoKid

****ty. I planned to allow myself a little time to sleep in, maybe until 11am or 12pm just to treat myself since my class got cancelled today. But then I slept in until 2pm. Also, my ****ing roommate brought her friend in the dorm. I could hear them approaching the door with their incessant giggling. Then she suddenly opens the door, I hear them silent for about half a second, and then burst out laughing. Undoubtedly at me. Luckily I had most of my face sequestered behind the blankets, so I pretended to stay asleep all through their giggling at me. Made me feel so ****ing disgusting and pathetic. 

I think my friend is cancelling the hang out I was looking forward to today (we haven't hung out in months, and I was so happy to hear a couple days ago that he wanted to hang out again), but he won't give me a clear answer. Guess I'll just wait around until he texts me. Probably going to end up alone again. Whatever. It's like everyday so why does it matter.

I didn't get anything done I wanted done today, too, because I slept in. Why am I complaining though? Any chance I get to sleep in I usually go overboard, and usually more than this, until sometimes even 6pm. But I just hate this. I'm back to being some little cowardly, lazy, pathetic piece of ****. I ****ing hate myself.


----------



## twitchy666

*How Are You?*

When anyone asks that, I run away


----------



## Nitrogen

isolated, lonely.

it's ironic how i can go weeks, months even, without noticing or giving much thought about how secluded i am. i'm almost oblivious to the fact, until someone points it out to me, and then it's turmoil from that point forward. but i do nothing about it, so i'll just wallow for a few days, then i'll forget about it.


----------



## Dissonance

Going Commando


----------



## AussiePea

I'm just sad.


----------



## Nunuc

Can't describe it with words. Hmm, maybe if I try really, really hard:

FHLJÖD<LJHLÖF<LÖJHFÖHDGÖLNGFM.GNM,VNÖL.HFHF!!!

It worked! That's exactly how I feel atm.

:rain


----------



## FunkyFedoras

Forgotten by "friends"


----------



## c224

tired,alone and so very stressed


----------



## Citrine

Meh I'm OK, thanks for asking.


----------



## mr hoang

Good, thank you, how about you? Lol


----------



## wanted

Sad, really sad.


----------



## AceEmoKid

I don't know how I feel. Estranged from my body and my environment. I can't name my thought; only record them as they barrage my mind space.


----------



## cmed

aiight


----------



## AceEmoKid

unprepared for a new school week and also (unreasonably) angry. i don't really understand where my emotions come from at all.


----------



## wanted

I feel sad and alone.


----------



## mr hoang

Tired, anxious.
Slept at 1am yesterday. Gotta workout


----------



## Ineko

why do I have a headache owwwowwie


----------



## zonebox

Feeling pretty good.


----------



## ineverwipe

I'm doing alright, just trying to get to sleep early. It's still light out so I have plenty of time but I'd still like to get to sleep so I can go into work early and get my list done.


----------



## probably offline

Uneasy about tomorrow. I don't know what I will find out.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Weak but empowered. Screamo vocals, semi-successful. This might actually turn out to be a more common element in my music from now on....it's really fun and releases pent up anger.


----------



## AceEmoKid

pathetic, miserable, etiolated like a potted plant sentenced to the dark, cold corner of some old, abandoned warehouse. also scared. very scared. i am always scared. that's what generalized anxiety disorder boils down to, after all. fear. constant fear of everything and anything that could possible fall out of my control and go awry. also scared of people i should be comfortable around. uncomfortable around people i have explicitly told i was comfortable around. but i'm a liar. i withhold everything -- true emotions, humiliating or unsavory details of my daily life, even the fact that i am a liar. but of course. i am endlessly terrified.


----------



## WhatBITW

Great. 5 days off work!. Going to go to sleep and see what tomorrow brings.


----------



## EternalTime

Great, warm. Thinking of someone very important to me.


----------



## Ally

I'm okay, a little nervous and annoyed, but mostly okay


----------



## Caleb7

Completely relaxed but this is so the wrong time. And I need to stop posting here now.


----------



## redstar312

Disappointed that this thread was allowed to fall to the third page.


----------



## To22

Antsy and credulous.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Ill; disgusted. Oppressive headache. Even walking down the hall to the loo I felt dizzy and began swaying from side to side, almost hitting the walls of the narrow hallway. Regretting sleeping at 5am again. Luckily I actually had the willpower to wake up with my alarm today, so I'll be rewarded with another wholesome, educational, unmissable hour of rhetorical arts. I heard we're doing group exercises today to prepare for our speeches. Being a near agoraphobe, that should be excrutiatingly fun. Also kind of angry at the deletion of a thread in which I wrote a pretty long reply in. Whatever. I guess I've lost a lot of posts due to deletions of "racy" and "unsavory" topics. It's not fair.


----------



## GirlAfraid23

Sore throat...but happy


----------



## anxiousmofo

At peace or in denial, never really understood the difference between the two.


----------



## jamesjameson

i found out recentley that i have the soul of a mighty moltres.
so im ok i just need to find someone to be the jesse to my james.


----------



## AceEmoKid

simultaneously "high" and in panic over procrastinating on my philosophy essay for now 4 hours straight. ff

SAS you are a demon from hell.
hail satan.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I have to do a presentation next week.

WOW I SURE AM EXCITED.

woo.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Pretty good emotionally, but physically tired.


----------



## housebunny

sick, sad, tired, frustrated


----------



## AceEmoKid

I only got 3 hours of sleep, but I managed to wake up with the alarm and grabbed my usual coffee on the way to class, which sparked me awake somewhat. I can't believe I'm functioning right now. I feel okay.


----------



## shelbster18

People treat me like roadkill. That's how I have always and will always be treated. :rain


----------



## Dissonance

shelbster18 said:


> People treat me like roadkill. That's how I have always and will always be treated. :rain


 Huh?


----------



## redstar312

Sad


----------



## shelbster18

Dissonance said:


> Huh?


As in people treat me like I'm a dead animal on the side of the road. :/


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I'm pretty happy that its the weekend, but I feel like I'm going to be bored today. SAS to the rescue!


----------



## Jcgrey

Ill. Sad. Scared.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Failed myself again. Hopefully I can get some work on my film done and don't end up laying in bed all day. I feel detached from the world, and perhaps even from myself. I don't want to introspect anymore, because what I dig up is painful to examine.


----------



## loneliness

Comfortably numb 

There's a tornado of problems I have, but I feel numb to them.


----------



## euphoria04

In the rigors of a struggle with insomnia, and I think I might have a sense for why I can't sleep. I'm a bit unsettled by the reason.


----------



## For

not bad. I'm just very very very bored. I have nobody to go out with.


----------



## AceEmoKid

i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i ****ing hate myself.


----------



## TenYears

Yeah I'm good, lol.


----------



## Pompeii

Um, ow. Just... ow.


----------



## Ally

TenYears said:


> Yeah I'm good, lol.


That's amazing! I love it 

I am sleepy but I don't wanna sleep, so you see my problem


----------



## TenYears

Ally said:


> That's amazing! I love it
> 
> I am sleepy but I don't wanna sleep, so you see my problem


Ha, yeah it made me think of my kids, it sounds like somethin theyd write down.

I've been having trouble sleeping too. Think part of it is I went off my meds for about a week. I was having probs with my pdoc. Blah. Hope you get some shuteye, maybe try Melatonin, it usually works for me.


----------



## housebunny

I'm hungry and I don't have a single thing that sounds good.


----------



## sadkittens

bored and definitely not tired. i need another boy toy willing to stay up with me until 5am talking about everything under the sun.


----------



## redstar312

Cautiously optimistic.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Not too bad, but kind of feeling a little stuck in the past.


----------



## redstar312

Scared


----------



## atticlights

goodbad


----------



## atticlights

baderrble


----------



## Pompeii

I wish to amend my mood from ow to crapola.


----------



## Owl-99

I'm feeling pretty good actually, more give me more , give me more.


----------



## BillDauterive

Below average. :/


----------



## shelbster18

I'm worried for my future. How can someone like me who has a learning disorder get through college and get my degree for Radiology? I just don't see me ever getting done with it. I won't ever be successful.


----------



## ApathyDivine

Hungry


----------



## Zatch

I feel like I could use a pint.

I don't even drink so that says something.


----------



## zonebox

/hands veracity a pint.


----------



## AceEmoKid

^ Seconded (@veracity). On both wanting one but never having consumed alcohol before. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be drunk/tipsy. I have a feeling I'd reach for a drink any time I was upset if I had the ID or social connections to retrieve some, which would not be very good at all.

I'm sad. As usual. I also have a growing headache that seems to be pushing my eyeballs out from the inside.


----------



## zonebox

/hands aceemokid a pint


----------



## AceEmoKid

^Lol. Thanks for introducing me to the baser pleasures of e-life with that e-pint. :drunk


----------



## AceEmoKid

feeling depressed about everything. bad thoughts please go away. also feeling physically sick. nausea, the beginnings of a sore throat, achy limbs and headache (moreso than usual).


----------



## Mrs Salvatore

I feel real ****ty, I'm so depressed right now about my school, and money, and roommate/housing situations.


----------



## Perkins

I'm bored.


----------



## rdrr

Meh


----------



## Canucklehead

Better


----------



## redstar312

Hopeless.


----------



## GothamLullaby

Feeling like Superwoman


----------



## Yer Blues

Stressed. Going grocery shopping tomorrow.


----------



## HarryStanluv25

Slightly annoyed. This pill I took for my cold is stuck right now in my throat and almost feels like it's in my chest. HATE when that happens.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Very envious of artists who are the same age as me yet are infinitely better at their craft. Also envious of this little art clique they seem to have on tumblr...ugh, I should have never stalked people I used to know from high school. They post 3 way art collaborations, pages upon pages of masterful and colorful gesture drawings with captions like "ughhh" and "drew this piece of crap in between classes," and masterpiece speed paintings as if it is nothing. I can't even....and then there's me. No friends. ****ty *** art. Can't even begin to be as flexible in so many mediums. Poor at realism and gesture drawing. Can't paint for the life of me. Can't do digital art. Just overall ****. I can't believe I even post my stuff online. Why do I even bother? I waste time scanning all my **** and get anywhere from 0-5 notes. There was one odd one that got 25 notes, but that's only because it was a sketch of a popular musician. Ugh. I ought to take everything down and kill my blog. It's worthless and a waste of time.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

AceEmoKid said:


> Very envious of artists who are the same age as me yet are infinitely better at their craft. Also envious of this little art clique they seem to have on tumblr...ugh, I should have never stalked people I used to know from high school. They post 3 way art collaborations, pages upon pages of masterful and colorful gesture drawings with captions like "ughhh" and "drew this piece of crap in between classes," and masterpiece speed paintings as if it is nothing. I can't even....and then there's me. No friends. ****ty *** art. Can't even begin to be as flexible in so many mediums. Poor at realism and gesture drawing. Can't paint for the life of me. Can't do digital art. Just overall ****. I can't believe I even post my stuff online. Why do I even bother? I waste time scanning all my **** and get anywhere from 0-5 notes. There was one odd one that got 25 notes, but that's only because it was a sketch of a popular musician. Ugh. I ought to take everything down and kill my blog. It's worthless and a waste of time.


I've seen some of your stuff on deviantart, in my eyes, it's great! Much better than anything I could draw.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I feel alright, but not fantastic. I have yet even more regrets from today.


----------



## bewilderedminerals

Pretty terrible. I haven't gone to the gym (or anywhere else) in weeks and I've gained a bunch of weight. Still an improvement over a few days ago.


----------



## Steinerz

*slurp*

Feeling okay. I sense a lot of passive aggressiveness towards me though. I _did _say something that could have pissed them off. Oh well.


----------



## Slinkington

I wonder if people visit this site usually when they're feeling low, and come here to try and make sense of it? 

I'm actually feeling fine right now.


----------



## SadSelf

I have a feeling that something good is going to happen soon


----------



## Zatch

zonebox said:


> /hands veracity a pint.


Thanks broski, but I'm already covered.










I feel tired right now. Woke up expecting to go to school after not going yesterday, but meh. Weekend has started early for me.


----------



## redstar312

Right now all I want to do is sleep. It's impossible to find the motivation to even lift my arms and legs.


----------



## EternalTime

Good  
Things are perfect and I feel like I'm finally allowed to be happy


----------



## xRoh

Better, now that I've worked out for a bit. Means I won't feel bad for eating.


----------



## Solangeles

I feel awful. Lately I've been waking up every morning feeling stressed, worthless, anxious and having the huge desire to puke my guts out. It's so F*****g debilitating.


----------



## Ally

I'm feeling happy. It's been a relaxing, peaceful day..


----------



## londonguy202

I want die  ;(


----------



## Noca

Kinda blah today, didn't sleep well last night. I woke up to a dark, gloomy and rainy day out my window.


----------



## probably offline

I have a head ache and no pain relievers. ;_;


----------



## Paper Samurai

strangely optimistic... will this last?


----------



## Karl20

bored , feeling dizzy having a headache cause i forgot to restock on my meds , excited about future. A lot of mixed feelings.


----------



## Ineko

tired, wanting to lay my head in someones lap


----------



## Nitrogen

I hate today. I wish I slept in longer.


----------



## Canucklehead

Happy that it's friday.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Nitrogen said:


> I hate today. I wish I slept in longer.


:squeeze :c


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored, lazy, slightly anxious


----------



## Schmilsson

Embarrassed and idiotic, 2014 has been going terribly for me so far.


----------



## Schwenger

Isolated. When I walk outside in public, I'll feel slightly optimistic but it wears away very quickly. Unfortunately that's not the case if it were the opposite and by that I mean, I am slightly pessimistic. It sticks.


----------



## Canucklehead

Old


----------



## TryingMara

Awful/sick.


----------



## xRoh

I feel gooooooooood.

Finished work, ate some lovely food when I got home, and now I have 3 days off.


----------



## jruff3

Drunk or tipsy.. I'm st work right now and I drank 6 shots of vodka lol... Feeling a little bored here but these are my last days here... Can't believe how alcohol can make you feel free of the anxiety but I'm controlling it right now


----------



## AceEmoKid

went from feeling extremely disgusted with myself and self loathing to laughing my ****ing *** off. omgod this is the best. i'm going to be laughing for years.


----------



## redstar312

Sad.


----------



## 3 AM

Okay.


----------



## shelbster18

I think I've been a little more depressed than usual lately. I don't want to say that because I'd rather be in denial about it. :/ 

But I also feel good after talking on the phone to someone yesterday and was told that I was fun to talk to and that most girls he talks to are boring. So that's pretty damn ironic.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Strong and confident for the first time in my life.


----------



## Justlittleme

like i really am the only one.


----------



## redstar312

Tipsy


----------



## Nitrogen

Bleh.


----------



## tarkz

I feel pretty low. I was out last night and my depression always seems to be really intensified for a day or two following alcohol.


----------



## Bawsome

I keep getting these mad muscle spasms in my neck, i have known no pain like it.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

'I just woke a few minutes ago' groggy


----------



## Sgt Pepper

I feel like i gotta poooooooooop!!!!!!!


----------



## Bawsome

****ing invincible


----------



## AceEmoKid

Caffeinated, adrenalized, and actually "good" for once albeit a bit jittery.


----------



## dexlab

Sad... feeling quite heartbroken too actually  
Some of my best friends who happened to also live next door to us for the last 5 years (block of flats, shared garden) have just left to move nearly 130 miles away.
I'm so used to us/them popping round each others flats and having bbq's in the garden etc it's going to take a lot of getting used to them not being there.


----------



## AceEmoKid

****ing hell that moment when you see and image that you can't unsee
brb going to be barfing for several hours
**** man how did i manage so many years avoiding such a thing for it now to come out of nowhere ewewewewewewewewewewewew


----------



## TryingMara

Sad and sick. Some stupid scene in a tv show had me tearing up. I need sleep or else I'm going to fall apart.


----------



## Thedood

Empty. Frustrated. Sad.


----------



## Sgt Pepper

I always start feeling more creative once it starts getting nighttime


----------



## oood

Stonedly tired but I keep battling on for the sake of the internet


----------



## AceEmoKid

dat bittersweet moment when you finish watching a really good anime.
guess i'll just have to read the manga to sate my empty heart.


----------



## Ank92

Feeling very shy today


----------



## Canucklehead

I need a breathalyzer for week nights, no one should ever be allowed to go to work in that kind of condition.


----------



## BillDauterive

Emotionally and mentally I feel alright, quite neutral. 

But physically, I am suffering from what appears to be allergies and its quite annoying.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Had a panic attack before my speech earlier this morning, now currently experiencing (somewhat lesser) anxiety anticipating my phone interview in approximately 5 minutes. I have written down some brief bulleted answers to possible common interview questions on a few notecards. Hopefully she doesn't realize I am reading/referencing something over the phone. But that's the benefit of being interviewed through voice only -- the interviewer can't see your "cheat sheets." :b


----------



## Nitrogen

i'm so socially inept i can't even believe this hghrghghggh

i'm just gonna hide in my room for like a week straight


----------



## TryingMara

Ugly.


----------



## minimized

Ronery, so ronery...


----------



## Glass Child

Currently in emotional turmoil. I'm panicking much more than I should but I don't know how to handle my situation.


----------



## millenniumman75

antsy


----------



## Justlittleme

dead


----------



## AceEmoKid

low, peculiar, a bit anxious for no particular reason. maybe afraid in anticipation for having to walk outside in approximately one hour for my three hour philosophy lecture class. maybe afraid that there's no point and that i'm doing all this for nothing. maybe afraid that i have trapped myself within imaginary boundaries and that i've wasted everything and the damage is irrevocable. i want to skip class and lay on the floor and blast sad, lo-fi indie garage band **** as i close my eyes and cry. i want to disintegrate with every note.


----------



## zonebox

I ate a McDonald's burger and fries.. I'm so damned stuffed..


----------



## Nitrogen

AceEmoKid said:


> i want to skip class and lay on the floor and blast sad, lo-fi indie garage band **** as i close my eyes and cry. i want to disintegrate with every note.


that was really poetic.


----------



## redstar312

In need of coffee.


----------



## Pompeii

Proud and positive for the future. It's not so bad being Pompeii after all.


----------



## loneranger

Lonely, but ok at moment.


----------



## cuppy

Pompeii said:


> Proud and positive for the future. It's not so bad being Pompeii after all.


 I like Pompeii.


----------



## cmed

Ok I'll start working at 8. Ok I'll start working at 9. Ok I'll start working at 10. Ok I'll start working at 11. Ok I'll start working at 12.

Typical Saturday. Who am I kidding? Just take the day off.


----------



## Crimson Lotus

Rather demoralized but such is life, you just have to pick yourself up.


----------



## extremly

stressed out of my mind today. So much bs going on


----------



## eveningbat

Sad, lonely and unhealthy.


----------



## Greenleaf62

Impatient, frustrated, and disappointed.


----------



## redstar312

I hate everything about myself.


----------



## Pompeii

cuppy said:


> I like Pompeii.


Thank you! :squeeze


----------



## Charmeleon

I feel like ****, how bout you.


----------



## housebunny

I feel really irritated.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Vaguely frightened and very unsure.


----------



## Spindrift

Despondent.


----------



## oood

Worried about my cat's infection 
Inspired by David Attenborough


----------



## Nunuc

Sad & mad.


----------



## lunarc

Relaxed.


----------



## Justlittleme

good.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Nauseous, anxious, weak. The stench of bacon wafting in from the crack under the door is not diminishing the nausea.


----------



## Kakumbus

Bah, hopeless.

Just read some book that tell you how to cure "all disease" by not eating processed food and eating well, lol like I wasn't doing this for a whole year already.


----------



## lunarc

Happy.


----------



## euphoria04

A bit depressed; rapid onset tonight...


----------



## jonafin

absolutely crap


----------



## Canucklehead

ambivalent


----------



## Pompeii

So, so sleepy. It's 4:30 pm. 

Should I have a nap?

A) Yes
B) Yes

Hmm, after careful consideration, I might have a nap.


----------



## oood

Hyped up on sweet sweet junk food


----------



## Yer Blues

Headache


----------



## Nonexistence Forever

Like I've been killed off.


----------



## Charmeleon

Super duper depressed


----------



## AceEmoKid

Sad and longing.


----------



## AussiePea

I've got a cold coming, I can feel it.


----------



## Marakunda

Tired.
Relaxed.
And kinda sad.


----------



## Priapus

extremely tired
I've been laying in bed for hours


----------



## bewilderedminerals

Tired.
I've been going to bed around 5-6 most nights (well, mornings)
Not terribly in the mood to deal with people.


----------



## lunarc

Pumped. Just finished a good gym session. 
Happy.
I've never been this consistently happy before in a long time.


----------



## Marakunda

Empty.


----------



## AceEmoKid

I feel like a drunkard. Whatever the hell that would feel like. 

My bags are literally tugging my face down in submission to gravity, and I keep catching my mouth hanging open and my body swaying from side to side. I have an oppressive headache and feel a tinge of nausea creeping up my throat and down in in my belly. I don't know how I managed to butcher my to-do list again by sitting in front of this computer, unmoving, for several hours.


----------



## Pompeii

Drained of life. Ridiculously flat and limp.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I feel pretty meh.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I feel like ****. But hey. At least I'm alive! :clap


----------



## SummerRae

I'm so sleepy :yawn
Depressed.
Lonely.
Confused.
Hurt.
Broken.
Sad.
Angry.
Pissed off.
Suicidal.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Anxious and guilty.


----------



## Sacrieur

AceEmoKid said:


> Anxious and guilty.


Take a nap. If you're still feeling bad take another one.


----------



## eveningbat

My throat is sore.


----------



## nubly

Tired. I hate doing these long reports


----------



## inerameia

Tired. Waiting for an x-Ray is annoying. Don't punch hard surfaces.


----------



## Arkiasis

Terrible.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Elated at the result of this football match


----------



## Steinerz

Think I will go outside. Feeling itchy for sunlight.


----------



## shelbster18

So, so lonely. I can't take it. 

I've been crying almost every day for the past few weeks now. It's a hobby of mine but it's nice to cry. 

I wish I was dead.

Ready to get this Psychiatrist appointment over with tomorrow or today rather. I'm going to stay up all morning. I doubt I'll be able to get to sleep. Just wish my mom would take me up there instead of my dad. I'm going to have to listen to him talk about dreadful subjects with me. It's going to be torturous.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mildly buzzed, desperately depressed


----------



## TheLastDreamer

Feel like there maybe a light at the end of the tunnel


----------



## lunarc

Caffeinated.


----------



## AceEmoKid

anxious anxious anxious. i don't know. i just feel like a complete **** up today and yesterday. i feel failure and humiliation looming deep in my gut. if i have nightmares and interrupted sleep again tonight i'm going to seriously freak out. most of all i'm scared of my body disobeying the alarm clock and having yet another absence piled on top of the others for my morning class, which will cause my grade to drop again, and worse, potentially merit public humiliation or confrontation by the professor.

...and is it weird that i sort of enjoy this descent into madness? a masochistic delight. i want to be completely ****ed up and helpless and pathetic. i want to be _the very worst. _ i want people to sneer at me and question why i even exist, why i am here, why am i wasting precious resources and douring the mood? i want them shun me completely and call me names and shrink away in disgust whenever my presence is made. i want to be isolated, which is not different than how i live and have lived for several years, but this time with the fact of my undesirability ingrained in my subconscious. i want to cry and wallow in my own pathetic company in a dark room, to hear students and teachers and family and strangers walk around outside my door giving me no second thought, deprived of all basic resources until i rot, a malnourished and putrid carcass lying in a fetal position drowning in its own fluids.

my favorite fantasy right now is to imagine my intricate plan of suicide and how my body may or may not be found afterward. i watch my own decay in time lapse.


----------



## Sacrieur

AceEmoKid said:


> anxious anxious anxious. i don't know. i just feel like a complete **** up today and yesterday. i feel failure and humiliation looming deep in my gut. if i have nightmares and interrupted sleep again tonight i'm going to seriously freak out. most of all i'm scared of my body disobeying the alarm clock and having yet another absence piled on top of the others for my morning class, which will cause my grade to drop again, and worse, potentially merit public humiliation or confrontation by the professor.
> 
> ...and is it weird that i sort of enjoy this descent into madness? a masochistic delight. i want to be completely ****ed up and helpless and pathetic. i want to be _the very worst. _ i want people to sneer at me and question why i even exist, why i am here, why am i wasting precious resources and douring the mood? i want them shun me completely and call me names and shrink away in disgust whenever my presence is made. i want to be isolated, which is not different than how i live and have lived for several years, but this time with the fact of my undesirability ingrained in my subconscious. i want to cry and wallow in my own pathetic company in a dark room, to hear students and teachers and family and strangers walk around outside my door giving me no second thought, deprived of all basic resources until i rot, a malnourished and putrid carcass lying in a fetal position drowning in its own fluids.
> 
> my favorite fantasy right now is to imagine my intricate plan of suicide and how my body may or may not be found afterward. i watch my own decay in time lapse.


Not really an isolated occurrence. Aspies are often extremely poor students where they're not passionate. Newton and Einstein had some serious difficulties in higher education, despite having brilliant minds.

I actually have yet to meet an aspie that's a straight A student.


----------



## Priapus

social people who don't understand being introvert piss me off extremely


----------



## BillDauterive

I am completely and absolutely repulsive to girls. I wish I could fully eradicate the desire for girls in my mind.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored, depressed, lonely


----------



## shelbster18

In a Lonely Place said:


> Good luck with the appointment, hope something positive comes out of it for you.


Thanks dude.  Didn't go as bad as I thought it would. Got to go back tomorrow to see what meds they'll prescribe me. Hope it's Xanax.

-------------------------

I'm okay for the most part right now but upset that I got attached to a guy that travels for work like every other month and doesn't want anything serious. It's going to be hard finding another guy who loves my shyness and that's also affectionate and kind and down to earth.  How poop. I even had a dream about him this morning that was just like a few of the dates I went on with him where we did some of the same things just like in real life. But it was weird because in the dream I was laying in a hotel room and he just magically appeared there and I think I was half asleep and took me awhile to figure out what was going on. lmao...**** you brain. >_<


----------



## Ally

Sleepy and sore but mostly good


----------



## AceEmoKid

Inertia and antsiness, plus I kind of want to kill myself but I'm too lazy and ultimately indecisive about everything and anything. Story of my life.


----------



## Nitrogen

AceEmoKid said:


> Inertia and antsiness, plus I kind of want to kill myself but I'm too lazy and ultimately indecisive about everything and anything. Story of my life.


:squeeze


----------



## Dunban

Feeling super stressed out. I have an exam tomorrow night. I haven't really studied at all =/


----------



## jonafin

absolutely awful !!!!
haven't slept because i'm home alone and i just can't get over the thought of somebody else being in the house with me I HATE THIS


----------



## Spindrift

Spicy.


----------



## Pompeii

A bit depressed and generally anti-people. Considering moving into a bubble.


----------



## Nitrogen

What a conundrum. I'm frustrated beyond belief.


----------



## oood

Happy that it is evening here in a few hours and it will be socially acceptable to lie in bed


----------



## AceEmoKid

Nitrogen said:


> What a conundrum. I'm frustrated beyond belief.


[hug] What's up?


----------



## Mousey9

hmm :/


----------



## AceEmoKid

Excited. A different kind of antsy compared to earlier. I'm not able to use DXM due to kidney disease, but I looked through my medications and found that I had the generic brand of what is commonly known as Benadryl, diphenhydramin. I researched it pretty thoroughly and there are no complications specifically affecting me besides a slight bit more danger to asthmatics; I made a list of precautions to take and outlined a general game plan. I have 30 tablets (25mg each) and a pretty free weekend upcoming. Trips only last 2 hours to a full day, and I have two full days to recover whatever goes wrong if I start on saturday. I'll start on a very low dose just in case, but it should be fun. I heard caffeine can counter the negative effects of the drug (specifically drowsiness), and even potentially enhance the experience. Probably going to stick with pre made ice coffee, as I don't want to hallucinate and burn myself on a hot coffee pot. Going to put together some kick *** music (including one mellow playlist in case I start freaking out), get my guitar ready, and find some fun videos to watch. Should be interesting, and I'll probably write about the experience later.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy & starving


----------



## shelbster18

Threatened a guy that I would hurt myself because I hate that I can't get over him and he doesn't want to see me because he doesn't think I'm in the right headspace. I don't feel guilty at all about telling him. Told him that that scratch on my leg was from me hurting myself. All I get is that I'm mean and how it's not fair that I'm threatening him. Didn't think threatening myself makes me a dick.

I guess I'm not allowed to see people because I'm not in the right state of mind. That just defeats the purpose of me not going insane. :| Yea, people treat me like ****.


----------



## Canucklehead

Feeling self-destructive.

I think they need to add that to the stages of grief, because it's my favorite stage.


----------



## AceEmoKid

wow this is strange. lack of coordination (clumsy), hard trouble swallowing, feel like gravity is trying to suck me into the earth's core. forgetting things mid sentence, swaying, and seriously zoning out and getting confused. saw stuff flying across the room and flickering shadows on the walls and furniture. mumbling a lot and just generally not knowing what the **** is going on. lol my roommate is slightly concerned. wow i wonder how long this lasts. i'm writing all qualitative data in my notebook, so i should have my experience written soon. 

i can't believe 100mg has virtually no effect on my friend, but i am seriously tripping. this is so crazy. i cant believe i took them. usually i dont do anything that adventurous. also this is really hard to type. trying to make sense here and not make as many spelling/grammar errors. hmmm hopefully it wears down soon. the cottonmouth feeling is probably the worst part. the delirium isnt exactly pleasant, but it's interesting. dry mouth -- not so much.


----------



## SuperSky

I'm feeling good because I didn't bring any work home with me yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Might not be able to relax still, but at least that's a start.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Diphenhydramine: Never again. Or at least I need to give myself quite a while to recover and anticipate before taking it again. For sure not again within this month. I could try it when I'm done with finals but....it's quite scary. At least at the beginning of the trip when it suddenly hits you. I would have to seriously mentally prepare beforehand.

But, on the brighter side, I got one of the best night's sleep ever. I slept by 1am ish, which is super early for me (who usually goes to bed at 5/6am due to insomnia). I woke up on time today! Yay! That was the biggest worry. I'm lucky my spontaneous consumption of the pills on a school night didn't backfire. Last night's mini trip feels almost like a dream. Good thing I wrote observations down while I was on it, so now I have something to trigger my memory for the report I'm going to write (I'm such a nerd....).


----------



## Sacrieur

shelbster18 said:


> *Threatened a guy that I would hurt myself *because I hate that I can't get over him and *he doesn't want to see me because he doesn't think I'm in the right headspace*. I don't feel guilty at all about telling him. Told him that that scratch on my leg was from me hurting myself. All I get is that I'm mean and how it's not fair that I'm threatening him. Didn't think threatening myself makes me a dick.


You just proved his point.


----------



## redstar312




----------



## dal user

its a friday night and im sat in doing nothing so i feel ****


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry, restless


----------



## TryingMara

Sleepy. Woke up at 3am and couldn't go back to sleep.


----------



## shelbster18

Sacrieur said:


> You just proved his point.


I don't know what you mean. That I'm not good enough for a guy to talk to because I'm not in the right state of mind?

He told me this before I even threatened myself because I'm attached to him. That's what he meant. And I don't see how I'm the problem. I didn't do anything wrong. I need someone to talk to and meet in person. I have no one. But think what you want to think. People make so many assumptions on this site.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Vaguely irritated, but I won't let it subvert my good mood from earlier today.


----------



## Sacrieur

Powerful and centered, the way I should feel.


----------



## loneliness

AceEmoKid said:


> Diphenhydramine: Never again. Or at least I need to give myself quite a while to recover and anticipate before taking it again. For sure not again within this month. I could try it when I'm done with finals but....it's quite scary. At least at the beginning of the trip when it suddenly hits you. I would have to seriously mentally prepare beforehand.
> 
> But, on the brighter side, I got one of the best night's sleep ever. I slept by 1am ish, which is super early for me (who usually goes to bed at 5/6am due to insomnia). I woke up on time today! Yay! That was the biggest worry. I'm lucky my spontaneous consumption of the pills on a school night didn't backfire. Last night's mini trip feels almost like a dream. Good thing I wrote observations down while I was on it, so now I have something to trigger my memory for the report I'm going to write (I'm such a nerd....).


Dude, I'm glad you took only 100mg. Diphenhydramine is NOT a drug anyone should use to trip. I'm not saying this because I'm anti drug - I'm not - it's just that bad of a drug. When people use "recreational" doses (200mg+) people almost always report a bad, if not terrifying experience.

That "scary" feeling you experienced would be magnified manyfold if you took a more common recreational dose (200mg+). At those doses DPH causes profound mental confusion. Combine that with seeing spiders crawling on your wall and ****, and you're freaking the **** out because you're literally living a nightmare, not knowing what's real and what's isn't and having no way to calm yourself because again, you are very, very confused.

Oh and the cottonmouth will get a million times worse if you take it again at a higher dose.

It's a shame you can't use DXM. That, on the other hand, is an excellent ketamine substitute to trip on. Although that one requires a lot of precautions as well.


----------



## AceEmoKid

loneliness said:


> Dude, I'm glad you took only 100mg. Diphenhydramine is NOT a drug anyone should use to trip. I'm not saying this because I'm anti drug - I'm not - it's just that bad of a drug. When people use "recreational" doses (200mg+) people almost always report a bad, if not terrifying experience.
> 
> It's a shame you can't use DXM. That, on the other hand, is an excellent ketamine substitute to trip on. Although that one requires a lot of precautions as well.


How did you know I can't take DXM (unless I wrote about it somewhere else in the forums; I have a terrible memory)? I've read quite a bit about DXM, anyway, and it sounds really fun.

Actually looking back on it, the experience wasn't too bad. It was just that I wasn't prepared -- I went in thinking that 100mg, which barely did anything for my friend and others whose experiences I read about, would make me a bit drowsy at best. If I ever do try again, I will definitely not exceed 150mg.

Edit: Wait. I did mention DXM in this very thread. :doh Sorry about that.


----------



## loneliness

AceEmoKid said:


> How did you know I can't take DXM (unless I wrote about it somewhere else in the forums; I have a terrible memory)? I've read quite a bit about DXM, anyway, and it sounds really fun.
> 
> Actually looking back on it, the experience wasn't too bad. It was just that I wasn't prepared -- I went in thinking that 100mg, which barely did anything for my friend and others whose experiences I read about, would make me a bit drowsy at best. If I ever do try again, I will definitely not exceed 150mg.
> 
> Edit: Wait. I did mention DXM in this very thread. :doh Sorry about that.


Well, you can do whatever you want I guess. But I seriously advise you to not take DPH. It's a horrible, nasty drug to try and trip on.

Get yourself some real drugs mate.


----------



## Sacrieur

shelbster18 said:


> I don't know what you mean. That I'm not good enough for a guy to talk to because I'm not in the right state of mind?
> 
> He told me this before I even threatened myself because I'm attached to him. That's what he meant. And I don't see how I'm the problem. I didn't do anything wrong. I need someone to talk to and meet in person. I have no one. But think what you want to think. People make so many assumptions on this site.


I missed this.

No it means you proved his point. What he was politely saying was you're too crazy for him, as in mentally ill. And then you threatened to hurt yourself if you couldn't talk to him _which only a mentally ill person would do_.

So all it did was confirm to him that you were bat**** insane and needed to be kept away from.

I'm not making any assumptions, you told me all I needed to know. If you can't see what's wrong with threatening to hurt yourself over something, then maybe you're more sick than you realize.



loneliness said:


> Well, you can do whatever you want I guess. But I seriously advise you to not take DPH. It's a horrible, nasty drug to try and trip on.
> 
> Get yourself some real drugs mate.


She should take DPH the way it's intended to be used, as a sleep aid. Recreational drug use doesn't get you anywhere but into a deeper hole. All because reality is just too hard to face. That's pathetic. It's actually beyond pathetic. It's stupid, illogical, and the ultimate form of self destruction.


----------



## loneliness

Sacrieur said:


> She should take DPH the way it's intended to be used, as a sleep aid. Recreational drug use doesn't get you anywhere but into a deeper hole. All because reality is just too hard to face. That's pathetic. It's actually beyond pathetic. It's stupid, illogical, and the ultimate form of self destruction.


That's all very fair and true, but you're missing one key point: people who want to experiment are going to experiment. Telling them it's stupid and destructive rarely stops them - in fact it probably further ignites their curiosities.

The best you you can do is offer harm reduction, which I did by telling him (her? sorry) about how profoundly unwise DPH abuse in particular is.


----------



## Sacrieur

loneliness said:


> That's all very fair and true, but you're missing one key point: people who want to experiment are going to experiment. Telling them it's stupid and destructive rarely stops them - in fact it probably further ignites their curiosities.
> 
> The best you you can do is offer harm reduction, which I did by telling him (her? sorry) about how profoundly unwise DPH abuse in particular is.


All drug abuse is unwise.


----------



## shelbster18

Sacrieur said:


> I missed this.
> 
> No it means you proved his point. What he was politely saying was you're too crazy for him, as in mentally ill. And then you threatened to hurt yourself if you couldn't talk to him _which only a mentally ill person would do_.
> 
> So all it did was confirm to him that you were bat**** insane and needed to be kept away from.
> 
> I'm not making any assumptions, you told me all I needed to know. If you can't see what's wrong with threatening to hurt yourself over something, then maybe you're more sick than you realize.


Well, you don't ****ing know who I am so don't go and make assumptions like that. I'm depressed enough as it ****ing is. So much for a support site. I didn't do anything wrong. I try to be a good person but all I get is that I'm crazy or a *****. You don't know the **** I go through so don't you dare say that. Mentally ill people need love, too. No one ever talks to me so what gives you the right to say those things to me? That's so ****ing unfair. You don't even know the circumstances or the full details. Whatever. You have no clue who you're talking to. If anyone threatened themselves, I'd try and help them. I wouldn't be a ***** and just leave them. That's messed up. That's like calling a suicidal person bat**** crazy. I'm getting real sick and tired of being talked to like this. I get enough of this bull**** as it is.


----------



## AceEmoKid

time to listen to turn20 on repeat again while contemplating whether i should even bother whining about something that is my personal choice and won't even matter in the slightest to the vast majority of the world anyway so i might as well cry alone and log out and swear off the material vapidity of the internet forever


----------



## AceEmoKid

Sacrieur said:


> She should take DPH the way it's intended to be used, as a sleep aid. Recreational drug use doesn't get you anywhere but into a deeper hole. All because reality is just too hard to face. That's pathetic. It's actually beyond pathetic. It's stupid, illogical, and the ultimate form of self destruction.


Perfect. Just what I wanted. I am beyond pathetic and will continue to abuse the **** out of it until I kill myself.


----------



## Sacrieur

shelbster18 said:


> Well, you don't ****ing know who I am so don't go and make assumptions like that. I'm depressed enough as it ****ing is. So much for a support site. I didn't do anything wrong. I try to be a good person but all I get is that I'm crazy or a *****. You don't know the **** I go through so don't you dare say that. Mentally ill people need love, too. No one ever talks to me so what gives you the right to say those things to me? That's so ****ing unfair. You don't even know the circumstances or the full details. Whatever. You have no clue who you're talking to. If anyone threatened themselves, I'd try and help them. I wouldn't be a ***** and just leave them. That's messed up. That's like calling a suicidal person bat**** crazy. I'm getting real sick and tired of being talked to like this. I get enough of this bull**** as it is.


I'll explain it to you.

Threatening to hurt anyone as a way to get something is a method of manipulation. Just because it's yourself doesn't change the fact it's manipulating someone to do something against their will.

He doesn't want to speak with you, so you're attempting to twist his feelings into making him feel guilty for you hurting yourself because _it's his fault that you're doing it_. This highlights one of the most dangerous parts of depression, the shifting of blame from yourself to the environment and people around you.

It's the same line of thought underscoring people who go, "Why do you make me hit you?"

And whether you believe it or not, it's this kind of thinking that throws him off. Because normal people don't think like this. They think the responsibility of how they act is theirs, and no one makes them do anything.

I apologize if the way I came off is brusque, I'll tone it down for future reference.



AceEmoKid said:


> Perfect. Just what I wanted. I am beyond pathetic and will continue to abuse the **** out of it until I kill myself.


I never once called you pathetic, I called a specific number of actions pathetic. And they are. And you know what I do pathetic things too. I do stupid things. But that doesn't make me stupid.

"That's stupid," doesn't mean you're stupid and you shouldn't ever let yourself think that.

I'm down in the market by around 60%, on a good day. Slowly over the past two weeks I've watched my hard fought fortune be chipped away from illegal market manipulators while the SEC does nothing but sit back and watch. It was stupid to invest in the company I did invest in, I should have waited.

But that doesn't make me stupid. I took a risk and I failed, pretty god damn hard. I'm not stopping just because some things aren't working out for me, just because I made a mistake.

I failed my last quarter in college too, did you know that? I didn't even show up for any of my classes. I didn't do homework, hell I didn't even know what the homework was, and I didn't show up for any finals. I didn't even know if I had a family to go back to.

If I sound upset it's because I don't want to see my friend give up because she's failing.


----------



## minimized

I feel off-kilter and clammy now.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lonely


----------



## housebunny

arghhh!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious & depressed


----------



## oood

Dazed I have to stop staying up so late


----------



## Nunuc

Old and ugly.
And depressed.


----------



## shelbster18

Sacrieur said:


> I'll explain it to you.
> 
> Threatening to hurt anyone as a way to get something is a method of manipulation. Just because it's yourself doesn't change the fact it's manipulating someone to do something against their will.
> 
> He doesn't want to speak with you, so you're attempting to twist his feelings into making him feel guilty for you hurting yourself because _it's his fault that you're doing it_. This highlights one of the most dangerous parts of depression, the shifting of blame from yourself to the environment and people around you.
> 
> It's the same line of thought underscoring people who go, "Why do you make me hit you?"
> 
> And whether you believe it or not, it's this kind of thinking that throws him off. Because normal people don't think like this. They think the responsibility of how they act is theirs, and no one makes them do anything.
> 
> I apologize if the way I came off is brusque, I'll tone it down for future reference.


Well, looks to me like he still cares since he's texting me back now but he didn't like it when I threatened myself like that and I can understand. I guess he just wanted to back off for a bit. But I just don't understand in general why someone would quit talking to someone if they threatened themselves. If they really cared, they'd keep talking to them. I know I would, especially since I've gone through this stuff. It's just kind of strange to be honest how he'd say it's unfair that I said that to him. At the same time, I know why he'd say that. I don't think he really knows what unfair is unless he went through what I'm going through with all my problems and ****. All I wanted to do was talk to this guy in person and open up about my feelings to him before he leaves again. It just so happened that I connected with him and I didn't think I'd feel this way. Usually, it seems forced but not this time. Welp, guess I learned my lesson not to act like this again. Just don't see how someone can be crazy for threatening themselves. :/ I just thought telling him this would make him understand me more and support me. I hate bottling things up and hiding all the time. People say you should open up but lo and behold, if I open up about stuff like this it gets frowned upon. :no

And I forgive you. It just really hurt that someone would call me bat**** crazy. I've never gotten that before. ...I just want to improve myself and be a better person but I can never seem to satisfy anyone.

Just a rant not completely related to this but what I see a lot on this site is people always defending the non-mentally ill people. That's how it seems to me anyways. Never understood that. I'm always seeing things about how "Well, maybe they don't want to be around you" or "Why are you getting so worked up about someone saying this to you?" or "You need to quit complaining about this person not talking to you". It's baffling seeing these things. I would think people on this site of all people would understand the mentally ill but who am I kidding? I learned right from the start that that's not the case. I see people here who go through so much pain and they have a right to think the things they do, whether they can willfully change or not. I've been through that crap so I know how they feel.


----------



## Mousey9

Tippity toppers, I think....I don't really remember what a positive feeling feels like so for the sake of my sanity, i'll say this current one is one. People here needs to be happy and smile more. Not only does smiling have a weird effect to make you feel good but more importantly, it makes you look better because no one cares about how you're feeling. So in essence, no one should care about this post. Except for that one cheeky person that just said they did. I like you.


----------



## minimized

The ice age is coming, the sun's zooming in
Meltdown expected, the wheat is growing thin
Engines stop running, but I have no fear
'Cause London is drowning, and I live by the river


----------



## zomgz

Quixotic.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Melancholic


----------



## Starless Sneetch

Trapped. How did I get where I am today? I know I should be happy, but I have lost all my passion and now I am stuck. Trapped forever.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Useless and unwanted... 

Had vertigo on Friday, and someone asked me if I was going to live. I said "yes" and they said, "too bad." 

I hope I am taking that out of context.


----------



## Sacrieur

sarafinanickelbocker said:


> Useless and unwanted...
> 
> Had vertigo on Friday, and someone asked me if I was going to live. I said "yes" and they said, "too bad."
> 
> I hope I am taking that out of context.


Unless they were a close friend that's pretty out of line.


----------



## AceEmoKid

so many emotions today. i feel so angry then sad then suicidal then ****ing happy and confident and optimistic
all during art class my alternating thoughts as i proceeded to make literally the ****tiest drawing in my life were either fantasies of killing myself to the point i started tearing up and had to excuse myself to the bathroom to ideals of being the most confident cool *** kid in school who doesn't give a **** to the utter anxiety anticipating trying weed tonight at the spur of the moment with some classmate and his roommate i havent talked to in months 
i want to go down in happy flames with my middle fingers pointed up and blood drenching my crooked, toothy grin


----------



## Pompeii

Feeling rather good despite the fact I am essentially a walking zit today.


----------



## bewilderedminerals

I guess slightly optimistic. I feel like I'm just putting things off until a later date, such as studying, going to the gym, making friends, etc. I make a lot of excuses. But I do have hope for the future.


----------



## redstar312

Afraid. I hope I get that job tomorrow, but I'm worried that I won't.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lonesome & restless


----------



## Pompeii

Oh God, am ravenously hungry. Have no food. May resort to gnawing on the kitchen counters.


----------



## Laboratory Rat

Alone, depressed, grumpy, anxious...grrrr


----------



## lunarc

****ing pissed off at myself. My moods are always all over the place. Its ****ing up my relationships with people. One day I'll be really enthusiastic and friendly, the next I'll be moody and withdrawn. I hate how they can just bounce around and change for no apparent reason.


----------



## 93Paige93

I'm great ty.


----------



## lockS

Extremely self-conscious today...and a little irritated


----------



## slyfox

Tired, worried, and unmotivated


----------



## Starless Sneetch

I started out trying really hard to be positive so I could get some work done today. but alas, I go and read my email and find out my professor has yet again written an email to the entire class about something I had asked him about. He always says "some of you have asked" or "some of you have said" and then brings up what I said and proceeds to say how wrong it is or whatever.

And I have to redo my proposal for the 5th time. My gosh, I am so behind on things now and the term just started. What is going on?

Dang, now I am depressed to the point of tears again. What am I going to do?


----------



## Ally

I'm feeling lazy but I also have things I want to do. It's not a good combination


----------



## redstar312

Nervous. Have a job interview in under 2 hours, I know I will not get it.


----------



## KaitlynRose

Impossibly bored. For once we do not appear to be doing anything in class today because everyone is dressed up and preparing for an event occuring after school.

I really should have brought a book or something today. Tetris can only entertain me for so long.


----------



## shelbster18

I'm kind of mad at my sister. :/ All she's been doing ever since she came to live with us is talk over me and interrupt me when I'm talking to her and ask me to do things for her and now she tells me she's going on a date like I'm supposed to be all excited. I just said in an upset tone "Have fun" and she asked me what's wrong. I just kind of freaked and told her that she shouldn't have said that to me but she didn't say anything more. I get no encouragement from anyone with dating and stuff and she wants me to be all happy dandy for her that she's going on a date. I don't think so. She has friends that she can tell these things to. Not me of all people. What am I supposed to say? Hope that she has a great life and that I'm miserable for the rest of mine? She just broke up with a guy. -_- 

Maybe next time, I should tell her I'm going on a date and see what she says. She would probably just say something like "You don't need to be seeing guys" or something. Or maybe I'm just overreacting. She's not my mother. .___. No one in this family ever talks about stuff like that with me. *sigh* I hate how she talks over me and changes the subject like I'm just someone to blab to. She just talks about herself and when I start talking about myself, she interrupts me. So much for being social with my own sister.


----------



## PandaPop

Hyper


----------



## EternalTime

Loved, safe. 
Worried about school grades at the same time.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Chilled out. Tired. Raw eyes. Achy back, just a tad. Haven't done my homework. I have the entire break ahead to do it, though.


----------



## redstar312

Dulled.


----------



## AceEmoKid

^ :squeeze

Btw, every time I see your username pop up with this thread, I feel the urge to just type "grand" as my response. Even if I'm not. Feeling grand, that is.


----------



## zomgz




----------



## Canadian Brotha

Full


----------



## Marko3

i feel foo-kin great today:yes

i leveled up today again


----------



## caelle

Such sexism on this forum. I wish none of the mods were men since men are already favored here.


----------



## loophole

I wouldn't say that nomi.... girls get more attention and I've been warned and banned a few times...


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Caffeinated


----------



## diamondheart89

like RAWR.


----------



## PandaPop

Tireds


----------



## AceEmoKid

nervous about may things both rapidly upcoming and months away. haircut appointment this afternoon, film term paper i haven't started yet due monday, difficult sketchbook homework i'm having trouble doing, starting my first job this summer and wondering how the **** i am going to get along with coworkers, anticipating whether i'll be friendless and further depressed next year if i drop out, and currently freaking out over the social worker from the mental health clinic calling both my cellphone and house phone.....i just let both go to voicemail. the message was just to let me know that he has time freed up today to switch tomorrow's appointment for 3:30pm today.....but i have my haircut at 4pm so that's not possible, which is slightly good. haircuts make me nervous, but going to a mental health clinic is a thousand times more nerve racking. i have my first consultation with their psychiatrist i've never met there tomorrow.....ugh.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mildly anxious/restless


----------



## AceEmoKid

dat new haircut feel. whatever that feels like. refreshing? a little ecstatic? mayhaps. just giddy over the fact that i won't have to keep flicking my oxymoronically too-long-shot-hair out of my eyes 24/7.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired


----------



## shelbster18

I'm feeling confused. lol Some random stranger walks by me and some guy in the park and she has two kids with her. She told us that me and him were going to get married in a year and I know she said that because I heard her and he heard her say that, too. We were just like, "What the ****?" It made my day, though because it was hilarious but seems like something that would only happen in the movies. I know I'm not getting married because it's pointless. I especially wouldn't get married a year from now. lolz


----------



## millyxox

Feeling bleh. Customer argued with me & wants to file a fcking complaint against me. 

Got enough with her b*tching so I decided to talk back (something I never do). Now I run the risk of losing my job. FML. I was never happy in that job anyways. Crossing my fingers that she doesn't push through though, or else I'm in deep shiz. Management doesn't seem to care about their own employees, they live by the 'customer is always right' policy which is BS. Alot of them try their best to get an item for free & I was just not having it. 

Whatever happens the following week, happens. I'm stressed about this but if I do get fired, I'll see this as some blessing in disguise & an opportunity for me to find a job that will make me happy & not miserable. 

It's all about your way of thinking & attitude.


----------



## Charmeleon

Currently bored as f**, also I'm off tomorrow so I'll be bored as f** tomorrow as well :/


----------



## AceEmoKid

I really ****ing hate some people on this forum. If someone could kindly delete them from existence, that would be swell.


----------



## Pompeii

Um, lonely. Sigh.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy


----------



## BillDauterive

Unloved, uncared, unwanted. Whiny and complaining.

I shout, scream, cry, moan, but nobody cares.

I need to be quiet and die quietly in a ditch somewhere so I don't bother folks anymore.


----------



## Ineko

Feeling pretty great actually, yoga has given me flexibility and strength, and peace that I didn't have before!
If you need to calm your mind and focus on something else give yoga a try in a quiet room with very little going on, it's very peaceful.


----------



## Ineko

AceEmoKid said:


> dat new haircut feel. whatever that feels like. refreshing? a little ecstatic? mayhaps. just giddy over the fact that i won't have to keep flicking my oxymoronically too-long-shot-hair out of my eyes 24/7.


I'm sure your just as adorable as ever :yes


----------



## AceEmoKid

I feel horrible.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

AceEmoKid said:


> I really ****ing hate some people on this forum. If someone could kindly delete them from existence, that would be swell.


Not me I hope...?


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I feel rather ****ty, as always. My moments of happiness have been fairly rare lately, and it's going to get worse from here. **** everything.


----------



## Raeden

In love with bread.

It's so yummy. Aghsdsdjkfdsjksd.


----------



## AceEmoKid

CravingBass said:


> Not me I hope...?


Not you.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed by the result of the football match


----------



## RogerKlotz

I am feeling great! I have a few days off from classes and work because of Easter so I am quite happy. Not a whole lot to do today, so I am just relaxing.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Drained. That nap wasn't quite as effective as I would have hoped


----------



## bewilderedminerals

Suddenly a lot more optimistic. Still waiting for this semester to be over, though


----------



## AceEmoKid

I am a million emotional particles spinning rapidly around each other.


----------



## AceEmoKid

i iz vewy exhausted


----------



## AceEmoKid

i've got my proverbial index finger out and i'm ready to poke the **** out anyone and everyone that crosses paths with me. in other words, i feel like needlessly provoking people today. sounds fun. annoying people for no good reason is becoming my only enjoyable interaction with other humans, period.


----------



## AceEmoKid

This world never fails to make me so bloody ****ing angry. How is it that just sitting in my chair at the computer, I have switched from a relatively calm demeanor to rapid heartbeat, involuntarily furrowed brows, bulging veins, clenched teeth, and a rigid tension trembling throughout my body?


----------



## shelbster18

I'm feeling like I'm one of the few people that really doesn't understand English. I might as well be speaking a completely different language. I don't know a lot of big words that people speak. It's quite annoying. I know my vocabulary has improved since a few years ago but it's still not where I want it to be. I just hate it when someone is talking to me and I don't know what daf** they're saying because they just have to use big words. -_- Why can't they use words that they'll know I'll know for sure?


----------



## Tokztero

I never felt better.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry, irritable, alone


----------



## eveningbat

Toothache disturbs me.


----------



## copper

Been anxious all day. Was okay yesterday,but today anxious. Don't know from one day to the next how I will be. It is so frustrating.


----------



## Steinerz

My skin feels dead. I want to rip it off.


----------



## shelbster18

I'm actually feeling pretty good now. Looks like me and my sister's relationship is getting better. She seems to not want to talk about just herself, which is good. I like that we can both be a part of the conversation. Not just one or the other. It feels weird talking to her again because I haven't seen her in a long time but now that she's back home, I've kind of been forced to talk to her since she talks to me but it's not just about herself. So I'm glad things are improving with us.


----------



## animeflower6084

Feeling a bit down today


----------



## AceEmoKid

bored, and a bit anxious considering my term paper is due in two hours and i've been procrastinating on SAS instead of working on it.


----------



## Pompeii

I feel like I have morning brain and a sleeping pill hangover and am wearing my cranky pants a size too small.


----------



## Sean8988

Feeling like crap.I dont work i live with my parents and im turning 26 in august.I never go out and im always alone.The only thing that makes me feel good is working out and seeing my nephew


----------



## bewilderedminerals

Pretty weird. I'm completely unprepared for finals but I'm not nearly as concerned as I shold be. I've been staying up until around 6 in the morning, so pretty fatigued and out of it. Drained, yet strangely optimistic.


----------



## Grog

Unwanted , ignored , shunned , locked out .


----------



## ShatteredGlass

100% meh.


----------



## vqh

Miss connecting with someone


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious. I got the call for the job interview this morning & will be on my way shortly


----------



## AceEmoKid

I have 100 posts in this thread as of now.

I am feeling "meh."


----------



## alenclaud

This week I've barely slept a couple of hours during the nights, once even waking up in the middle of the morning to prepare tea with 'nocturnal' herbs (which supposedly help you sleep better), taking the cup with me and sitting by the window, breathing some fresh air. So I'm feeling a bit tired, although that doesn't keep me from finishing my work and studies, or even going out for walks.


----------



## ASB20

Arrogant. It comes and goes when I take a look at how other people think and do things sometimes.


----------



## redstar312

Lazy and despondent. I am an awful person, I am stupid and ugly.


----------



## AceEmoKid

trippiest nightmare ever.


----------



## oood

Alone and secure


----------



## EndlessBlu

Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese


----------



## AceEmoKid

hm. it's over.

i feel like i just woke up from the flu. a little dizzy and vaguely glitchy vision, but other than that, pretty normal. i have some indents that i don't remember feeling all over my hand and up my arm, earned from my deep, though brief, sleep. 

i don't know if i'll ever be able to do something like that any time again soon.


----------



## mcmuffinme

A mix of anxiety and depression. I hope to ward off these demons tonight. Magic mushroom powers ACTIVATE!


----------



## TryingMara

Pathetic, useless.


----------



## lunarc

indecisive.


----------



## AceEmoKid

i animated and shot pencil tests for almost 4 hours straight. ;_;

on the upside, i finally got **** done.
on the downside, i still have a lot to do....or perhaps not too much, but since my final shoot is tomorrow, i'm having major anxiety over making every little thing perfect -- and so far, a lot of the sequences have errors and look like crap. not good. 
plus i still have to fill out timing sheets!!! urgh.


----------



## EternalTime

Reassured and Loved.


----------



## Justlittleme

empty ?


----------



## AceEmoKid

a pulsing ball of rage and joy. also slightly nauseous upon seeing the swollen vein in my left hand. too much guitar playing tonight without break. there's an immense sharp pain in my hand.


----------



## Marley123

Horrible, I'm stressing way too much about tonight's dinner party/ going out for drinks afterwards. I'm so scared it's pathetic, I already know everyone that's going to the dinner party so what's the go I'm just too shy! I'd much rather stay at home then go.


----------



## Pompeii

Confused and a little bit sneezy and somewhat weird.


----------



## Lonelyguy111

Lonely and scared.


----------



## AceEmoKid

like a thousand times more in love than i already was 
nitrogen looks hella cute wth like super unimaginably cute 
ok im done


----------



## alenclaud

A bit tired and hungry after my evening walk. I think I may go straight to bed in a while, or maybe read if my drowsiness doesn't completely take over.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit restless


----------



## Nitrogen

AceEmoKid said:


> like a thousand times more in love than i already was
> nitrogen looks hella cute wth like super unimaginably cute
> ok im done


why did i only just see this now

wow


----------



## AceEmoKid

Nitrogen said:


> why did i only just see this now
> 
> wow


and um "how are you feeling" about this post


----------



## Nitrogen

AceEmoKid said:


> and um "how are you feeling" about this post


----------



## AceEmoKid

Nitrogen said:


>


you did NOT just use the blushy emote omfg i cannot believe you. 
i cannot believe that you didn't use.
this one.


----------



## Nitrogen

AceEmoKid said:


> you did NOT just use the blushy emote omfg i cannot believe you.
> i cannot believe that you didn't use.
> this one.


i wasn't going to go through the trouble of finding the skype one sorry

:mushy


----------



## AceEmoKid

Nitrogen said:


> i wasn't going to go through the trouble of finding the skype one sorry
> 
> :mushy


heidy is disappoint. her amry is coming after you.


----------



## Nitrogen

AceEmoKid said:


> heidy is disappoint. her amry is coming after you.


amry. her amry.

amry.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Nitrogen said:


> amry. her amry.
> 
> amry.


u got a *probm* with my speling???

didn't think so.


----------



## AceEmoKid

I'm dreaming I'm in the middle of the road, headlights, looming in the distance, looking up at the twinkling sky one last time, then tilt my eyes back down, pair of glowing eyes growing at an insurmountable speed, closer, closer, roadkill. I'm roadkill.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I feel alright, a bit better than I did earlier, but I still feel obligations looming over my head.


----------



## AussiePea

Helpless. I wish I could do something to help but I know there's nothing I can do, it's a pretty demoralising feeling actually. I'm also quite angry at ex housemates who are screwing me over and I am about to lose my cool, which never happens.


----------



## Pompeii

Oh no, I think I might be feeling lonely, which is unexpected since I had a moderate amount of social contact today. Hmm...


----------



## MoonForge

I'm feel very down at the moment, which made me decide to come back here and not be alone, since my efforts of finding different kinds of forums haven't been very successfull.


----------



## diamondheart89

Loved. ^_^ I have the best boyfriend in the world.

excuse the sappyness but gotta shout my feels out loud because I'm happy.


----------



## AceEmoKid

I BSed my presentation and spoke under the time minimum and still got a "great job" from the professor. LOL. I am so ****ing relieved. Also, some of my group members joined me walking back to the dorm and we talked. O_O About halfway through I was getting nervous, so I told them I had to rush back to my room and said goodbye. Awkwardly enough, I got back to the dormitory just in time to bump into one of the group members again, who apparently lives in the other building across from me.


----------



## slyfox

Tired and lazy


----------



## AceEmoKid

fly like a g6

/don't hurt me


----------



## Nitrogen

Distressed and unable to focus on getting any homework done thanks to an insomniac of a father and a horrible case of misophonia.


----------



## lunarc

Gluttonous. Why o why did my local Chinese take-away have 50% off. You could literally roll me around like the guy from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.


----------



## BillDauterive

I think I am suffering from permanent Dysthymia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysthymia


----------



## Taplow

Mildly inebriated.


----------



## redstar312

Bored and restless.


----------



## brooke_brigham

like ****


----------



## AceEmoKid

Dead.


----------



## estse

So blighted and hurt.


----------



## Aviatrix

Bored and indecisive. Not sure what to do with the rest of the day.


----------



## PandaBearx

Overwhelmingly anxious, to the point where I don't know what to do with myself.


----------



## redstar312

Dead and buried.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Horrid emotionally, mentally, & physically


----------



## intheshadows

Depressed.


----------



## AceEmoKid

anxious, and my heart has been beating against my constricted chest all day. but besides that, i'm emotionally numb.


----------



## AceEmoKid

im so dumb and i feel greasy from skipping my shower and staying up until 3am talking but wow i feel....uh. uh. uh. idfk man feels good. i can't stop smiling and thinking. ;_;


----------



## Marko3

whoa.. staying up all night till 7am.. and now waking up at 12:00am, and seeing super sunny summer like day outside.... soo happy

im gonna go on my bicycle today....yeah!


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Tired of waiting for everything.

..

..

..

..

..

249205834298340 yearz l8r


----------



## MoonForge

I feel alright at the moment : o


----------



## AceEmoKid

Literally burst out laughing at myself for suddenly realizing I'm doing it again. Procrastinating. Even though I have to write an entire 2000 word essay from scratch tonight. Hahahahahahahahhahahahah oh god. And I have a 3 hour lecture to attend in a half hour. So I won't be able to start my essay until around 10pm by this point. I'm really wise and task oriented, aren't I?


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Meh. I'm at school right now, and my next two classes shouldn't be too unbearable. I hope...


----------



## TheThinker1

I'm feeling very low atm. I'm laying on bed 4:30am I'm doing nothing with my life tomorrow as usual so sadness kicks in. I also feel like crying when I think about my life.


----------



## xBanshee

Feeling kind of motivated right now.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Whiskey buzz, perfectly balanced


----------



## AceEmoKid

A bit nauseous and sweaty, but otherwise somewhat content.


----------



## redstar312

Uneasy about the future.


----------



## Justlittleme

I'm broken when I shouldn't be. I am stripped away from basic human rights maybe, yeah I feel okay or alright though.

Can't say I am good, I kinda hate everyone in my path nowadays cause I just see their judgemental. They judge the daylights outta my strange self, I don't know... I can never be close. I feel so broken..


----------



## shelbster18

I'm a little upset and hurt. I shouldn't be because a guy asked me out but after my fifth time of seeing him (I've only seen him five times in two weeks) he brings along his friend that's a girl and he says nothing is going on between them two. So, I thought it wouldn't hurt to try and it turned out worse than I thought. He told us that we could be both of his girlfriends (whaaaat?) that he brings along whenever we all hang out together. He said he won't just drag her along everytime me and him hang out but my gut feeling is telling me something's not right. She even flirted with him and he put his arm around her. :/ I think he was doing it playfully but still. And I don't know if she was joking or what but she said that she'd send him a pic of her sucking some guy's dick to him. That's basically sending porn to him. I didn't have an appetite the whole time. She acted like she cared about me and thought I should at least drink something. I kept saying I didn't want something. I felt like the third wheel. He was going to sit where I could sit next to him in the movies but then he gets up and lets her sit between me and him. She asked me if I was okay with that and I just went along and told her it was fine. I was angry the whole time and didn't talk much. They acted like they didn't know why I wasn't talking. But he gave me her number so we could be friends. Don't know if we'll end up being friends or not but I'll just see. I think the lady in the park that told us we'd get married was wrong. If I had guy friends, I would never bring along another guy. The other guy would just get jealous and wonder if I really like him. It's not right to do. Nothing about this guy screamed douchebag when we first talked. I have no idea what to think about this situation. No idea at all.


----------



## Kalliber

ok i guess


----------



## shelbster18

shelbster18 said:


> I'm a little upset and hurt. I shouldn't be because a guy asked me out but after my fifth time of seeing him (I've only seen him five times in two weeks) he brings along his friend that's a girl and he says nothing is going on between them two. So, I thought it wouldn't hurt to try and it turned out worse than I thought. He told us that we could be both of his girlfriends (whaaaat?) that he brings along whenever we all hang out together. He said he won't just drag her along everytime me and him hang out but my gut feeling is telling me something's not right. She even flirted with him and he put his arm around her. :/ I think he was doing it playfully but still. And I don't know if she was joking or what but she said that she'd send him a pic of her sucking some guy's dick to him. That's basically sending porn to him. I didn't have an appetite the whole time. She acted like she cared about me and thought I should at least drink something. I kept saying I didn't want something. I felt like the third wheel. He was going to sit where I could sit next to him in the movies but then he gets up and lets her sit between me and him. She asked me if I was okay with that and I just went along and told her it was fine. I was angry the whole time and didn't talk much. They acted like they didn't know why I wasn't talking. But he gave me her number so we could be friends. Don't know if we'll end up being friends or not but I'll just see. I think the lady in the park that told us we'd get married was wrong. If I had guy friends, I would never bring along another guy. The other guy would just get jealous and wonder if I really like him. It's not right to do. Nothing about this guy screamed douchebag when we first talked. I have no idea what to think about this situation. No idea at all.


Okay, I'm glad we cleared that up. So, she's just like a sister to you and just really open about things. That's good. It's even better that she's bisexual. Makes me feel special that you told me she likes me. Don't know if you mean that she likes me likes me or just likes me as a friend. And the girlfriends thing was just a joke, too. I took this stuff way too personally I guess. But I think it's good to be on the lookout because I'm with you and I don't want anyone to take you away from me. Being open is what a relationship is all about. I guess the woman was right about us after all.


----------



## Twinkiesex

I hate your poetry


----------



## loneliness

Feeling really groovy tonight.


----------



## AceEmoKid

lol i drank alcohol for the first time (only a bottle of beer) but it didn't have any effect. after eating a quick dinner, at the last minute, my classmate's roommate shows up (along with a couple other people) and we all got high. lol i only took two bongloads before hurrying back....i wanted to talk to my online friend while high because i knew he would find it hilarious. but he's not on lol. so i guess i'm just here, high on sas.


----------



## loneliness

AceEmoKid said:


> lol i drank alcohol for the first time (only a bottle of beer) but it didn't have any effect. after eating a quick dinner, at the last minute, my classmate's roommate shows up (along with a couple other people) and we all got high. lol i only took two bongloads before hurrying back....i wanted to talk to my online friend while high because i knew he would find it hilarious. but he's not on lol. so i guess i'm just here, high on sas.


looooooooooool

Keep on livin'


----------



## Lonelyguy111

*Crummy, Awful, Frightened, Spooked, Terrified*

*Sh**y if you will pardon the wording.*

Depressed, lonely, discouraged, hopeless, lousy, forgotten, ignored, worthless. I will have to go to my Roget Thesaurus to get some other words.

CRAPPY !
That says it all. :deaduke:bash:afr:sus:mumarcry


----------



## vanishingpt

My spring classes at an alternative college is starting tomorrow. Stressing out but looking forward to it. Registration dates for my main university have also opened and forming my schedule makes me stressed out too LOL agggh. I get two extra days off but I'm probably going to be using them to study and finishing up assignments and projects. Also one of my classes isn't being offered and it's the only one I need to finish up graduation. I can't use it as an independent study either... which makes me pissed off. After all this careful planning, I'm 1 off? Augh.


----------



## thomasjune

Worried about someone close to me.


----------



## AceEmoKid

i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
i ask why i am so lonely, so friendless, even though it is so painfully obvious why
i am a disgusting creature and i should kill myself


----------



## dogapus

I want to slide into a coconut and roll around in soft well designed fabrics.
I can't cry :fall


----------



## PhilipJFry

I'm tired of trying. I just want to lay around and sleep, but I can't with a migraine.


----------



## iamblichus

Lonely


----------



## Marko3

i feel great.. eating peanuts and listening to music =)


----------



## xBanshee

Okay, I guess..


----------



## oood

Paranoid and worried for no particular reason


----------



## loneliness

AceEmoKid said:


> i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself
> i ask why i am so lonely, so friendless, even though it is so painfully obvious why
> *i am a disgusting creature and i should kill myself*


No you're not, you're a really interesting and creative person.


----------



## AceEmoKid

****


----------



## Nitrogen

eugh


----------



## AceEmoKid

Relieved, but also anxious. I just decided to submit what I had done of the essay, even though I was a hundred words under the suggested word count (mine: ~1700, suggested: 1800). I didn't do the reading (which the prompt is based on) very well. In fact, I only did the first half of the reading. Hopefully I still got the gist of it down. I think that was probably the worst essay I've ever submitted though. Unfortunately he only gave us a week to do this assignment which is supposedly worth 1/4th our final grade....sigh. Whatever. If I get a bad grade in that class, I wouldn't care too much.


----------



## hnstlylonelyaf

Empty, so very empty.


----------



## alienbird

I want to sleep. ~_~


----------



## Kalliber

Anxious ):


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Meh. I feel fine I guess. I kind of feel like talking to somebody in particular, but I decided I'll message them tomorrow, because I don't want to look like I'm obsessed with speaking to them all the time.

Also, I can't stop listening to Shot Me Down by David Guetta.


----------



## Alayah

Up until a minute ago I was feeling sad and rejected


----------



## AceEmoKid

Anticipatory dread. But why?


----------



## Greenleaf62

Tired and sore.


----------



## Marko3

I feel great.. still hi on endorphins from cycling earlier today... listening to Cranberries

and thinking about nice food ill eat.. i feel even better =)


----------



## dogapus

Tummy ache


----------



## Marko3

its 1:13am here, surfing SAS forums before i go to sleep...

and i feel great and epic... =)


----------



## AceEmoKid

Insufficient.


----------



## Junimoon11

Feeling even more depressed then i was in the first place... whatever, i don't even care anymore, **** it.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sick, annoyed, tired


----------



## redstar312

Hopeless.


----------



## estse

Naughty. Thinking about human females. Stroking my chest.


----------



## To22

This sums me up better than I ever could:


----------



## Bawsome

a bit fuppin lonely man


----------



## Marley123

Like crap. I feel useless, like everyone's moving on getting new jobs and doing different things and I'm here like hey all I do is work and hang out in my room watching gossip girl. It sucks, doesn't help my anxiety has been worse in the past week.


----------



## bottleofblues

:|


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I have a headache & am still feeling cold symptoms


----------



## DenizenOfDespair

Stressed about getting all of my assignments completed for the end of the semester.


----------



## AceEmoKid

i feel really sad all of a sudden. i guess it's because i was listening to "under an anvil tree" by fog while simultaneously looking through old family photos. that's always a bad combination. but even though i'll be seeing them again in a week.....something feels off. like we'll never have fun times again. it's all over. so much has changed.


----------



## AceEmoKid

I'd like to pull myself inside out and hang my skin to dry.


----------



## shelbster18

Oh my gosh. I feel just a tad uncomfortable. My boyfriend (feels weird saying that) stalked me on Youtube and found my Youtube vids. xD What if he finds out I'm on SAS? I mean, he already knows I have social anxiety and no friends and he has mental issues of his own and said he loves me more for it but I don't want him seeing my posts. I think I'll probably just pretty much become a lurker now if that happens. ;o


----------



## Junimoon11

Wasn't that good enough? Just being happy. God, I am so emotionally drained. I can't even cry anymore.


----------



## PlayerOffGames

im on top of the world!...also a lil tired...i want to stay in bed but ill go for a walk ö_ö


----------



## ShatteredGlass

absolutely horrible. i see no future for myself.

today, i cried ALOT. i'm falling apart. i don't think i can do this anymore. i need help.


----------



## purechaos

i got that really bad feeling.....like jumping off a bridge bad...i hate feeling this way..I never want to talk to anybody but feel like I should...but people have that "doing it for attention" attitude....so i just fight through it by myself...


----------



## AceEmoKid

Dumb.

They all thought I was smart, but it turns out I am beyond mentally challenged.


----------



## soy sauce on toast

Lazy. Exams are coming around the corner, and I'm hardly doing any revision. I can always make up for it in my final year, but I could just make it easier for myself by working hard now too. I've got three weeks to change my ways. :S


----------



## Junimoon11

I don't even know who I am anymore. I feel so stupid, just giving up like that. I never give up...and I tried to keep all these emotions to myself, I tried to be happy but I guess that's to much to ask for.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Sleepy. Really sleepy. I woke up a half hour ago to study for my final, but my eyes kept closing so I took 30 minute nap. I don't feel much better. At least the tylenol vanquished my headache. Maybe food will help me concentrate?


----------



## AceEmoKid

Relieved. Finished my film exam. It only took me twenty minutes of the ninety minutes allotted; I even had time to double check my answers. Unfortunately, there were 3 matching questions at the end of the exam that had to do with specific films that were only briefly mentioned in lecture, and I was unsure about 2 of those 3. I'm probably going to end up with -2 at the least. However, I'm just glad it's over. Now it's only my paper, philosophy exam, film screening, and tying up a few loose ends left. I also got my latest essay back after the exam, and was relieved I got a solid A. I found it funny that he wrote a little blurb saying that I "shouldn't be afraid to speak up in class because I obviously know quite a lot about film." Bwahahahaha. Well then. :roll 

Perhaps there is still a chance I can get an A in that class overall, despite doing very poorly on one of the quizzes.


----------



## Lonelyguy111

I feel like a pile of dog crap that has been stepped on a dozen times and then peed on by a bunch of cats.


----------



## Sprocketjam

Lonely/lazy/tired.

Should be working on projects but lack the motivation.


----------



## MoonForge

Tense and stressed :/


----------



## Kalliber

excited


----------



## BillDauterive

I'd just like to be accepted, liked, at least tolerated. I hate being hated by others. ;_; I am too sensitive to rejection.


----------



## eveningbat

Freezing all day today... and lonely.


----------



## BillDauterive

eveningbat said:


> Freezing all day today... and lonely.


At least you always have company on this here forum. May I ask what the temperature is in your place? My place is 27C but I wish it was actually cooler.


----------



## eveningbat

BillDautrieve said:


> At least you always have company on this here forum. May I ask what the temperature is in your place? My place is 27C but I wish it was actually cooler.


No, actually I haven't talked to anyone today yet. 
In the morning it was 10 degrees of warmth and in the afternoon it was about 16. Too cold for me. And it was even colder in the office where I work. Everyone coughs and sneezes there time and again. I am afraid I can catch some virus again. ugh.


----------



## BillDauterive

eveningbat said:


> No, actually I haven't talked to anyone today yet.
> In the morning it was 10 degrees of warmth and in the afternoon it was about 16. Too cold for me. And it was even colder in the office where I work. Everyone coughs and sneezes there time and again. I am afraid I can catch some virus again. ugh.


I see. You must be jealous of the mild weather in my place now. 
If its any consolation, our summer will be three months of 40C humid weather. I will absolutely dread and hate that. I'll assume your place won't be as hot and humid in the summertime.


----------



## eveningbat

BillDautrieve said:


> I see. You must be jealous of the mild weather in my place now.
> If its any consolation, our summer will be three months of 40C humid weather. I will absolutely dread and hate that. I'll assume your place won't be as hot and humid in the summertime.


It used to be on some occasions.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like ****


----------



## cuppy

I'm not throwing up anymore, so that's something.


----------



## slyfox

cuppy said:


> I'm not throwing up anymore, so that's something.


Hope you feel better 

I feel tired and disgusting


----------



## cuppy

slyfox said:


> Hope you feel better
> 
> I feel tired and disgusting


You could take a shower and a walk? 
I wish I had a bicycle.

than kyou


----------



## slyfox

cuppy said:


> You could take a shower and a walk?
> I wish I had a bicycle.
> 
> than kyou


Having trouble with the shower, so bath it is. Doubt I'll walk today but yeah I really need to get out and walk more. I miss having a bike


----------



## purechaos

If it isn't depression, its anxiety.


----------



## TryingMara

Very sleepy..the gloomy weather is not helping.


----------



## NoHeart

I feel as if I'm wasting
And I wasted every day
No hope, no love, no glory
No happy ending


----------



## Tabris

Tired. Just spent 7 hours in an exam.


----------



## slyfox

Tired but great  Today this account was merged with my old account :clap:yes:banana


----------



## Kalliber

like this


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry & in need of stretches/crunches


----------



## TryingMara

Ashamed.


----------



## coniconon

Tired as hell -_-


----------



## Nitrogen

I feel really lonely and discontent for some reason.


----------



## AceEmoKid

energized. :b


----------



## Kalliber

I feel like a new person * spins


----------



## Marko3

Just finished cleaned my flat... listening to japanese pop... eating oatmeals..yummy!

Will go to groceries to get me some milk and peanuts..
It's sunny outside... later I'll go cycling =)

I feel EPIC!!!


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Meh. No complaints right now I guess. Sitting on my bed is annoying. It hurts my back. I might move to the recliner chair and continue to bless SAS with my inspiring posts.


----------



## gamerguy

Like there is barbed wire around my lungs and sick in the stomach.


----------



## alienbird

I'm angry, but the sadness still outweighs the anger. 
I have to try my best to stop thinking about it now.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy & restless


----------



## slyfox

Really down  at least I'll be going to bed soon


----------



## Kalliber

I feel really tired, not looking forward to this day


----------



## PandaBearx

Super duper sleepy, only had two hours of shut eye and now I'm off to camp in the wilderness on a blow up mattress. Living the life! Kidding it should be fun, I just _really_ need coffee


----------



## TryingMara

Very tired, can barely keep my eyes open.


----------



## eveningbat

Grand said:


> I'm angry, but the sadness still outweighs the anger.
> I have to try my best to stop thinking about it now.


What happened to you?


----------



## eveningbat

I feel like the weekend is nearly over.


----------



## Julesp

Feeling decent - I think that I'm worrying slightly about not being productive enough. 

It's a kind of a never ending struggle. I feel fulfilled of getting something done, but then again getting something done can feel like a struggle at times.

I guess it's just a matter of accepting it as it is.


----------



## AxeDroid

Confused...I'm the closest that I've ever been to getting somewhere but don't know where to go and don't have someone to advised me in my situation who has been down the same road as me.


----------



## AceEmoKid

HOLY **** PINKIEPIESWEAR IS FOLLOWING ME

omfg first blacksquares reblogs my **** and follows me, then bulldog eyes, then pinkiepieswear 

fangasms forever (AKA excited feeling)


----------



## beffa

drained


----------



## Kalliber

Full as ff D:


----------



## TheWelshOne

I was feeling positive this morning. Amazing how quickly that can change... Dammit.


----------



## essiiu

Cant sleep because too many thoughts in head and i feel like s***


----------



## FunkyFedoras

Unmotivated. :[


----------



## AceEmoKid

Inferior. As always. Even when I try my best, someone or something ends up light years ahead. It causes me to wonder constantly why I even bother.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Omfg my mum actually believed me when I said I went to my sister's exercise class and participated the entire hour. I actually went in believing I would, but I got so nervous about doing the exercises in front of strangers that I gave up after about 5 minutes. I played my DS from the corner the rest of the time. Still, to make up for anxiousness and paranoia I felt the remainder of the class, it was pretty funny to have my mum believe my blatant lie. My sister's going to tell her the truth tomorrow though.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Drowsy, anhedonic, a bit melancholy suddenly. I want to OD but my mum took away my medications.


----------



## cj66

-


----------



## Kalliber

Feel worried


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, a bit sore, depressed


----------



## eveningbat

Tired and sleepy.


----------



## alenclaud

Torn apart by seemingly unattainable dreams. And nightmares.


----------



## Marakunda

God I really am just completely irrelevant and pathetic aren't I.


----------



## bgbann

Right now,I feel pretty tired.The weather is starting to get really warm and it's making me feel lazy and unmotivated to do anything.Bleh :|


----------



## Kalliber

Just tired , didn't sleep good, and still worried


----------



## Justlittleme

i'm not cleaning up, refusing to do something about this facial hair lol [idgaf world mentality?], umm... my under eyes look dark (what am I?) and.... I want pancakes.

I'm alright, just a typical stupid day ><

(i'm so wrong, and i hate it... atleast someone cares about me, but then again!?!?!?!?!!?!? idk my life! it's strangest...)


----------



## EternalTime

Just odd.. 
Maybe a mix of worry and something else.


----------



## donzen

I feel tired, but relaxed.
Nothing really feels wrong at the moment.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, sore, annoyed, depressed


----------



## redstar312




----------



## Nitrogen

Blaaaaaarrrrrrggghhhhh


----------



## AceEmoKid

I don't feel anything. I'm just floating through the summer daze.


----------



## starburst93

Alone. I have a couple people to talk to, but no one who'll listen.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Paranoid.


----------



## Ryan Chen

Lost


----------



## Yer Blues

Drained.

Had my first counselor session (ever) on Monday. Today I went to the doctors to get a med prescription for the SA. He of course wasn't in with it being a small town walk-in clinic.  I go back tomorrow for more stress.


----------



## AceEmoKid

I just exploded at my mum. Make the anger stop. I don't know where that came from. I feel like I'm having a meltdown. Make everything go away. Please. I can't take it. Everything is so overwhelming.


----------



## anonymousme

I'm very lonely..


----------



## redstar312

I went off on a co-worker today. It was totally unjustified, he was doing nothing wrong. And that makes me hate myself even more.


----------



## SilentLyric

a small spark of anxiety because grades have yet to be posted

and my usual spark of loneliness


----------



## Kalliber

I'm feeling so anxious


----------



## AceEmoKid

Just fine and dandy I suppose. I'm not going to think about it too much.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted, annoyed


----------



## shelbster18

I'm feeling very empathetic right now. I got a text from the guy I'm supposed to break up with because things haven't been working out and he tells me that his dad threw him against a few walls and I was wondering how I could help him and asked if he was hurt. He just said texting me was good enough but I didn't want to just text him. I have this fantasy with wanting to just comfort him and hold him close and tell him everything will be okay. I feel like such a douchebag now. :/ He wants to work things out with me but now I feel like he's being manipulative. I don't know. But I can't help it because all this trouble he's going through with his brother getting his bank card stolen and his dad literally throwing him against the wall. I'm stuck. >_< We can both relate on the father thing and he said that he'd be lost and lonely without me. *sigh* I told him I was going to break up with him yesterday and then later that night, he tells me about being thrown against the wall. I suck. 

-----------------------

I also feel a little productive today. I went up to Subway just in case because I thought I didn't get hired. Never got a phone call back. The manager still hasn't decided on who he wants to hire. I might just get a chance. I don't know. And I bought more used clothes and now I have no money left. lol...I'm sad, too. After being almost halfway through with the last of The Dark Tower series book (spoiler for anyone who hasn't or wants to read it), one of the characters in it just died.  I won't say which one. I get attached to characters in books. What a strange and interesting day. And I got my Adderall prescription for ADD. Woohoo. Hope it helps with concentration and whatnot.


----------



## rosecolored

lost, stupid, worn out


----------



## Fat Man

Like low life Dog feces...but I'll get over it ._.


----------



## Perkins

Hot as hell. No, seriously. I'm sweating my metaphorical balls off over here.


----------



## Kalliber

Anxious,worried,scared


----------



## AceEmoKid

i feel like a ragdoll. just tired all day. too tired to even move, and when i do, my limbs just dangle there like props pulled only by the invisible strings masquerading as gravity. i can't even speak normally. my tongue fills up my entire mouth and the words sound garbled and wrong. i laid on the floor in every room of the apartment today. i played videogames and slept the rest of the time. i did nothing except think of how bored and boring i am.


----------



## Blue Wolf

Just floatin' on... (gradually gaining altitude).


----------



## redstar312

[email protected]


----------



## redstar312

Where y'all at.


----------



## Fat Man

I'm feeling motivated, hopefully the day will turn out well.


----------



## Marakunda

Excited again.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless, lonely, outcast, alien...


----------



## Natsuko

Happy


----------



## AceEmoKid

wake up first thing at 2:30pm in the afternoon, chills and tears and back-of-the-throat melancholia.


----------



## 000XXX000

AceEmoKid said:


> wake up first thing at 2:30pm in the afternoon, chills and tears and back-of-the-throat melancholia.


:/

irritated


----------



## rosecolored

silly


----------



## Steinerz

dead


----------



## TryingMara

Uncomfortable.


----------



## Ryan Chen

Pissed off at school. Calm at home.


----------



## Blue Wolf

Irrelevant.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Nauseous and worrisome and lethargic and dazed.


----------



## Kalliber

I feel so good, Pains gone, :3


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Terrible


----------



## Tabris

Hot and sweaty.
Spaghetti.


----------



## rosecolored

I feel strange...and really bored.


----------



## Kalliber

Bloated, I may give birth


----------



## burgerchuckie

Hopeful.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Anxious and scared. 

My mum left the door open to the outside and I crawled out of bed in the meantime. She's going to be back soon. I heard her muttering to herself while I was "sleeping" about how she was going to kill me.


----------



## starburst93

I feel horribly anxious, and I have no idea why. I am home alone. I have this horribly unsettling feeling.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Slightly contented. At least enough to sleep. :3


----------



## redstar312

Sober.


----------



## Kalliber

I feel ok .__.


----------



## intheshadows

meh


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Attention starved


----------



## purechaos

confused


----------



## EternalTime

So tired


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy, sore, uneasy


----------



## Ally

Wishful, thankful, happy


----------



## AceEmoKid

Odd. I was forced to think about certain areas of my life I have been avoiding for years today. It feels weird to revisit them as if I am actually a person again (if I ever was one). Yet I'm not a person. I'm the weird bodiless entity looking down on that person who has all the problems and goals and dreams and obstacles and disorders and personality quirks. I'm nothing. I'm detached from it all and it's strange.


----------



## Yer Blues

Stressed.

Therapist and a doctor appointment tomorrow. Double stress joy!


----------



## riderless

Yer Blues said:


> Stressed.
> 
> Therapist and a doctor appointment tomorrow. Double stress joy!


 You don't look stressed in your avatar!


----------



## Yer Blues

riderless said:


> You don't look stressed in your avatar!


Of course not, that's my constipated selfie.


----------



## buklti

At the end of my rope. I spent five years at a job only to be passed over for promotion and then relocated. Then I go back to school to try to better myself and im getting the shaft again. Cant get into any classes. All are full and they revoke my priority registration status. Now im going to have to go to another school.


----------



## AceEmoKid

I should be feeling happy for her, but instead I just feel jealous. Oh god I'm one of those people. But I can't help but feel as if I were just a throwaway option at the local market -- she realized I wasn't actually up for sale, so she decided to find something else instead. I don't even know the "item's" quality, price, ingredients. Who is this mysterious person she wheeled back home in the shopping cart? I will never know, because I gave up social contact long ago, and thus have no right to suddenly come back and inquire. I'm such an *******. A neglectful *******. I'm jealous even though I know deep down I couldn't give up my heart to that person regardless of whether I knew they'd move on to someone else immediately after. I just wonder if she had asked multiple people at once, and I was just disposable, or if I came first, then the others later as backups, or....? Why does it matter, in the end, though. I am no longer a part of that person's life. I'm just selfish and nosy enough to want that closure. To know what my status was in that person's eyes. Greedy for reassurance. How pathetic.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Anxiety and negative self thoughts are unusually bad today.


----------



## gamerguy

Feeling kind of bored. I don't really know what to do right now.


----------



## slyfox

Lazy and bored. Craving food but I don't really have much aside from soup that I could make now. Tried to sleep and now my right eye is bothering me. Maybe I laid on it wrong or something


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Pretty good, actually.


----------



## rosecolored

good


----------



## Nitrogen

Tired.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Off.


----------



## cosmicslop

sick and weak. i need some potassium but i feel weak enough where i'm too tired to cut me up some avocados to eat. ugh.\\

edit: i hate when you feel sick to the point where every smell is nauseating and headache inducing.


----------



## nullnaught

Good and bad all the time. With a chance of rain.


----------



## slyfox

Very tired.


----------



## cj66

Mortified! And like an idiot. I want to crawl in a hole and die.


----------



## Kalliber

Worried about my bby ):


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I feel okay, pretty glad that tomorrow's Friday, but I still feel a little bit nauseous.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Beat after work, a bit lonely, outcast


----------



## AceEmoKid

So tired. Barely slept last night....interrupted sleep out of paranoia. A baby spider fell on my face around 10:30p when I laid down; I freaked out, then stayed up until 4am in fear, until I finally fell asleep from pure exhaustion, blanketless and shivering (I thought the spider had crawled into my blankets). I have a horrible headache. ;_;


----------



## Justlittleme

I feel like an Idiota. You.....? 

Plus anger towards some person I must not name. I'll ignore that idiota though........


----------



## housebunny

AceEmoKid said:


> So tired. Barely slept last night....interrupted sleep out of paranoia. A baby spider fell on my face around 10:30p when I laid down; I freaked out, then stayed up until 4am in fear, until I finally fell asleep from pure exhaustion, blanketless and shivering (I thought the spider had crawled into my blankets). I have a horrible headache. ;_;


Sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. Hang in there.


----------



## AceEmoKid

housebunny said:


> Sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. Hang in there.


Thanks for the concern. I think I'm going to toss those blankets aside for now and get some fresh ones from the storage. Then I shall heavily inspect the area with a flashlight before I sleep tonight.



TigerWScarf said:


> ^They don't like the taste of cirtrus, maybe you could squirt some lemon juice around your bed. They have taste buds on their feet.


Hm, good to know. I don't sleep in a bed though (I sleep on the floor, carpeted), and I don't think my mum would appreciate me squirting lemon juice around the area. But I'll remember for future use.


----------



## MiMiK

**** life, **** everyone and **** me.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Bored and bored, with a dash of more bored.


----------



## AceEmoKid

CravingBass said:


> Bored and bored, with a dash of more bored.


Don't you mean.....a _rainbow dash_ of boredom?










....I'll show myself out, now.


----------



## Kalliber

bit tired and worried about my friend


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy, a bit sore from work, mildly annoyed


----------



## mirya

i'm a tad numb


----------



## Ally

Sleepy all of a sudden but I want to go for a run hmmm


----------



## AceEmoKid

I'm all sorts of strange again. Not sure where it ends and begins.


----------



## Nitrogen

Strange. An intense bout of dissociation after I had, for some inexplicable reason, paused the film I was watching and randomly picked up my journal and started writing. The feeling continues to persist; I feel like I'm in a dream. I'm not hallucinating, though, but nothing feels tangible.


----------



## housebunny

okay


----------



## Farcical Dreamer

sad


----------



## AceEmoKid

got that "i want someone to beat the living **** out of me" open mouthed grin again plastered on my face. why. i just feel reckless right now. reckless and tired. not sure how that combination will work out in the end. i'll probably report back in (AKA ***** to SAS) if it yields poor results and say nothing if i just end up apathetic and depressed like always.


----------



## ThunderChild

Lonely


----------



## Greenleaf62

Tired, bored, and frustrated.


----------



## SupaDupaFly

Feelling like a freak on a leash, feeling like i have no release.


----------



## TenYears

Happy for once, and tired. Day one of mini-vacation, unpacked, took kids swimming, toasted marshmellows over campfire and made smores, watched an outdoor movie & ate too much popcorn. Tomorrow starts at 7am and goes a hundred mph all day, but its gonna be fun. Mmaking memories with my kids.


----------



## Yer Blues

Spacey. I haven't slept much this week.


----------



## Winterwalk

Horrible sleeping pattern. Tired.


----------



## Robleye

Bored as hell


----------



## diamondheart89

Bored, so bored. And restless.


----------



## shelbster18

TenYears said:


> Happy for once, and tired. Day one of mini-vacation, unpacked, took kids swimming, toasted marshmellows over campfire and made smores, watched an outdoor movie & ate too much popcorn. Tomorrow starts at 7am and goes a hundred mph all day, but its gonna be fun. Mmaking memories with my kids.


Glad to hear things are going good for you. :3 Sounds like you're having a lot of fun.

--------------------------------

Hmm, I'm feeling kind of I don't know how to say it. I guess just tired of applying for jobs. I was told that I could be an assistant manager or a general manager but I thought you had to have requirements for that so I asked my mom and she thought so, too. I don't know why I applied to be an assistant manager at Long John Silver's. lol I applied for two different positions at that same place. The other one was for a cook but I applied like over a month ago for that position and wasn't quite motivated. I wonder if it's too late. It wouldn't hurt to go up there tomorrow. ^^;


----------



## minimized

What is the end result of loneliness and anger? Is it like a tornado of fire?


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Groggy, lonely, depressed


----------



## thomasjune

Three day weekend... feeling good right now.


----------



## redblurr

Empty


----------



## Pompeii

I feel like I only slept two and a half hours last night and then spent the day napping. So, pretty lousy really but I have life-giving chocolate.


----------



## Winterwalk

Like everything I say or do is wrong.


----------



## Nitrogen

Accomplished although I haven't done much.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Simultaneously quite lonely & annoyed by every little social interaction making me want to be alone


----------



## loneranger

Nitrogen said:


> Blaaaaaarrrrrrggghhhhh


Make that second. My anxiety again. Too many people out this weekend.


----------



## ihans

Like I've been hit by a truck. Worst hangover in a long time uke


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Blue dreamy. All day long. $20 got me 6.6 grams. So yeah, I'm gonna indulge.


----------



## TenYears

shelbster18 said:


> Glad to hear things are going good for you. :3 Sounds like you're having a lot of fun.
> 
> --------------------------------
> 
> Hmm, I'm feeling kind of I don't know how to say it. I guess just tired of applying for jobs. I was told that I could be an assistant manager or a general manager but I thought you had to have requirements for that so I asked my mom and she thought so, too. I don't know why I applied to be an assistant manager at Long John Silver's. lol I applied for two different positions at that same place. The other one was for a cook but I applied like over a month ago for that position and wasn't quite motivated. I wonder if it's too late. It wouldn't hurt to go up there tomorrow. ^^;


Thank u. Good luck on the job search, don't give up! I know how frustrating that can be.

Day 2 at the waterpark, I must have climbed fifty flights of stairs and swam fifty laps around the wave pool. Everyone's exhausted, esp the parents & grandparents. People from age 2 to 62 here. Kids are having so much fun & their cousins are like their best friends. I'm doing ok anxiety-wise, its bad but not as bad as I thought it would be surrounded by a million people with no escape.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Fidgety.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Frantic; nauseous; distressed.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Time to sleep. I have a headache. My entire body is rigid. I can't stop thinking and reading and typing. Another extreme bout of insomnia I foresee once I shut down this laptop. That will be the fourth night in a row. Great. Awesome. I've not gotten much sleep in this world that gossips, screams, and argues. It will be over soon.


----------



## Nitrogen

Pensive. I want to continue with writing, working on the story i've been developing for the past few weeks now, except i'm having difficulties putting my ideas into words.


----------



## Kalliber

I feel ok..i guess


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Mu f**kin' hella faded.


----------



## AceEmoKid

My anxiety finally calmed down a bit (I think it may have been a mild panic attack...that or an asthma attack paired with some symptoms of anxiety). I'm relieved but still having trouble breathing. At least my heart isn't beating as fast and I can focus on other things.


----------



## shouldeyefallbehind

I feel like I should be out socialising with people but at the same time I am terrified of them. So I would rather be alone, but I am so sick of feeling lonely all the time. Even when I am around people.


----------



## AceEmoKid

:|

3 or 4 hours of interrupted sleep. 
WHY. AM I. AWAKE.
Such headache. Much migraine.
Stayed up until 3:30am ****ing around online, tried to sleep but tossed and turned until 4:00am, got up again and decided to write rants for fun until 5:00am, tried to sleep again but couldn't due to birds chirping and light streaming in the room again by 5:30am (and my eyes felt stapled open in the simple fact that I wasn't sleepy...only tired), finally fell asleep around 6:00am only to wake up at 8:00am ish and pace around until sleeping again, then to be woken up by my mum at 8:45am who said I had to clean up because guests were coming over. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG


----------



## lunarc

Depressed. Its weird. I finally felt I reached a new point in my life. I've been on such a high. But now I'm sitting here alone with my thoughts and feeling like ****.


----------



## Goopus

I've also felt like I've made progress so far this year and yet I feel depressed too. It must be just one of those weeks.. I've felt this way since Friday or so. Maybe earlier.


----------



## shelbster18

I'm so stressed and feeling like I'm going to hyperventilate just from applying to jobs online. Why is it so hard to apply to them online? I tried to apply to one on snagajob and it went to the app but told me to type in my username and password so I could apply to the job. I double checked to see if my username and password was correct for snagajob and it was. I don't know why I have to do that **** twice. I also applied to Burger King online over 20 miles from my house. Called the number because I'm not wasting any ****ing gas to go up there just to ask one damn question and the guy on the phone told me to call at 5 a.m. in the morning. What dafuq? Guess I'ma stay up until 5 a.m. just to hear them say the same things over. I had an online resume with no work experience and I'd think that would help me more. If it doesn't, I'm going to be homeless on the streets. I just want to be a housewife honestly but people frown upon that. -_-


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Horrid. I have no hope whatsoever that I can break free of any of the things that I feel chained by


----------



## PandaBearx

Car sick :&


----------



## AceEmoKid

I've made some to do lists. I really want them to happen. I'm resolved to be a different person. Hopefully the desire will be enough to spur the effort and success this time. I don't want to be me anymore. At least the bad parts of me. I feel nervous but also excited at the same time.


----------



## lunarc

Good! I'm not going to get enough sleep tonight but at least I'm going to bed not feeling sad.


----------



## BillDauterive

All I really want is to feel good tomorrow, since that is one of the most important days of the year and that day is one where I am usually very depressed, down and suicidal.

But currently I feel ok.


----------



## cosmicslop

I feel good. Not comparing myself to other people to know whether I'm doing well or not makes me feel like a good person.


----------



## AceEmoKid

I felt dreadful the entire day (which I slept away) until I woke up to find my friend is doing well. That made me feel better. At least for them.


----------



## Nitrogen

Profoundly quiescent.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

A little... Horrible. My mental health is deteriorating by the millisecond.


----------



## AllieG

Depressed and lonely... The usual.


----------



## shelbster18

I'm alright for the most part. Just trying to get back into a positive mindset again. And I'm also confused that there's a tab on my browser for Schizophrenia. I didn't Google that. :blank


----------



## shelbster18

I'm feeling productive, bringing out my Positive Pam side, and worried all at the same time. :/ 

There's someone that I'm really worried for who has been feeling sick since yesterday. They told me that they couldn't see good and felt like they were going to die.  This person is supposed to keep in contact with me through their house number, through their email, and I just recently reinstalled Skype so we could talk on there, too. Unfortunately, I haven't heard anything back from this person and I'm scared something bad happened.  Hopefully, it's just the flu or a virus. This person said they took a bite of some food and threw it up and there's nothing I can do about it.  I think if something happened, this person's mother or father would have called me and let me know so I wouldn't be worrying. I'm trying not to get stressed about it but I feel bad. I can't do anything about it.


----------



## shelbster18

shelbster18 said:


> I'm feeling productive, bringing out my Positive Pam side, and worried all at the same time. :/
> 
> There's someone that I'm really worried for who has been feeling sick since yesterday. They told me that they couldn't see good and felt like they were going to die.  This person is supposed to keep in contact with me through their house number, through their email, and I just recently reinstalled Skype so we could talk on there, too. Unfortunately, I haven't heard anything back from this person and I'm scared something bad happened.  Hopefully, it's just the flu or a virus. This person said they took a bite of some food and threw it up and there's nothing I can do about it.  I think if something happened, this person's mother or father would have called me and let me know so I wouldn't be worrying. I'm trying not to get stressed about it but I feel bad. I can't do anything about it.


Yay, I got an email back. Well, it's better to be impatient and scared about stuff like this than to just act like it's no big deal. I just hate thinking the worst, though.


----------



## AceEmoKid

woke up from another 4 hour "nap." why do i want to sleep all day? i woke up at 9am this morning and then transferred rooms only to fall back asleep until 12pm, too. it's my new default and my mum and sister find it pathetic. i don't blame them. it kind of is. i'll probably go back to sleep sometime around 10pm.


----------



## Justlittleme

I am just here with no feelings. I want but I don't allow myself, because my fate is crazy. I just don't know being who I am, what am I suppose to do?

I'm not even allowed to complain in real life... what the heck do I do? There's no control of this mess.

I'm afraid of what, rejection? Man, that's all I ever felt, why can't I feel acception from myself ?

Why is she there  why is anyone apart of this ****. It's so sad right now. Waking up miserable everyday caused this. There is no life, for the true livers. What a world.

I mean my fiance doesn't even know what I endure, and I have to deal with being the crappy friend because I knew nothing. Fantastic, You n I are in the same boat my yang friend.

[this should be the last time I post seriously, searching for 0 lol]


----------



## scooby

Incredibly nauseous, dizzy and irritable.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & hungry


----------



## Revenwyn

****ty.


----------



## shelbster18

I'm upset and pissed. Have to get permission to see someone tomorrow even though they lost 2 liters of blood (surprised they didn't go to the hospital but thank goodness they didn't) yesterday from slicing their toe on a putty knife and had a fever and threw up and couldn't really walk. But they're feeling better today. I don't understand this. :/ It's like if I was to be in a coma for a few days then come out of it the day after, I'd have to ask permission for someone to come see me. What the ****? :blank This is what I get for wanting to take care of someone? I feel like ****. It's at least a 50 minute drive to get there and I'm going to have to use my money to put gas in the car so it doesn't look noticeable. But I doubt I'll be able to go just because this person's grandparents are coming I guess. What a load of ****. I was worrying all this time about this person and worried that something happened all morning long. 

Couldn't get to sleep until after 5 a.m. getting obsessive thoughts over it and this is what I get in return? I think their parents are ashamed of me and don't want me there or they just don't like me in general. I don't know what it is I do wrong. I try and try and nothing works out. I'm not allowed to see someone that could have pretty much gone into a coma apparently because that's what their doctor said might happen and it scared the **** out of me when I got a message about that. And when I called this person earlier, all I get is, "What have you been doing today?" Like none of my worries about this person even mattered. This person had to hang up on me to clean the house, which I guess is more important than talking to me.  My faith in humanity has really declined after all this ****ing ****. I've had to drive all the way down there to see this person like the last three or four times and I can hardly go down there. I'm super angry and upset about it. I try to make someone feel special and it just isn't good enough.  I feel like I've been punished. Something is keeping me from seeing this person much and I don't know what it is. I told my mom what happened and she acted like she didn't care. :| Wow. I feel like I deserve better than this but obviously I'm a bad person if all this is happening.


----------



## Pompeii

Stupidly and ridiculously tired. Also now anxiety-ridden.


----------



## shelbster18

Didn't feel good earlier and I still don't. I'm giving up on everything again. I was going to go with my parents and my uncle out to eat for his late birthday but didn't go.  My cousin and her husband were there and my other uncle and his girlfriend. I probably should have went. :/ I wasn't hungry and don't really have an appetite. I did eat some grapes earlier, though. I forgot to tell him Happy Birthday yesterday. I've just been staying in my room all day. Fun stuff.


----------



## Less Anxious

Tired and unmotivated. I didn't even finish half of what I wanted to do today, but I guess I can tack it on to tomorrow...


----------



## Charmeleon

RelinquishedHell said:


> Mu f***in' hella faded.


lol dis n***a

Might have to get in on some of that sticky icky since im gonna be on that temp unemployed vacay time 

Anyways I feel like whateverz, not happy but not sad either. Neutral I guess :/


----------



## RelinquishedHell

RadnessaurousRex said:


> lol dis nikka
> 
> Might have to get in on some of that sticky icky since im gonna be on that temp unemployed vacay time


Ah Heeelll yeah, n***aaaa. 6g for $40. What you want cuz?


----------



## redstar312

Looking forward to the weekend.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Not well.


----------



## Charmeleon

I feel sad now :/

I'm gonna have to find a way to keep myself busy so I don't fall into deep depression mode.


----------



## slyfox

sick atm


----------



## AceEmoKid

Vacant.


----------



## lunarc

Over the moon. Omg this **** must have been laced with something. I have never felt this way. So happy.


----------



## Less Anxious

Still tired, but I finished everything I needed to do today. It's raining outside and I get to order some books, so I'm pretty okay.


----------



## shelbster18

Like the sister I'm the closest to is a bad influence on me. I don't know. :S Haha, nah. She can't be. She's my sister. But doesn't mean she couldn't be a bad influence. :/ I know her past and some of the things she's done and maybe her bf isn't exactly someone to be trusted, either but I'm going along with it for now. Of course, I'd never open up to her about her using me or getting me to do bad stuff. I doubt she's using me. It's confusing.


----------



## Katherine114

I feel nothing...numb.


----------



## cuppy

super-duper unproductive :b


----------



## TheWelshOne

:rain:mum:cry


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lonesome, alien, outcast


----------



## lifeimpossible123

i have school tomorrow, i have no choice but just to go through it. i feel so f***ing stressed. :afr :bash


----------



## lifeimpossible123

F*** you social anxiety!!


----------



## oood

Nauseous, slightly motivated


----------



## shelbster18

I feel good about something I did yesterday but I'm not going to do it again. I was about to do it again tomorrow but I told my sister I didn't want to. :/ But it sure makes me feel like a rebel for once. It's not worth it. 

And I still feel sad about other stuff in general. Too much for me to bear. I wish I had some kind of creature I could take everywhere with me to just make all the stress and frustration and whatnot go away. 

I feel like I've done more for him than a lot of girls would for a guy. I don't know if I'm overestimating that sentence or not but yea. I've done my best but all I get is a cold shoulder. I pretty much risked my life yesterday. I guess most people would call me foolish but I just got this rush from it and that's all that matters because I'm not doing it but just that one time and it still makes me feel awesome.


----------



## EndlessBlu

I'm amused that I'm still here on SAS.

Other than that, I'm bored and I want to start on another anime, but I haven't decided which one to watch yet.


----------



## cosmicslop

I feel like how my avatar looks.


----------



## cuppy

cuppy said:


> super-duper unproductive :b


I hate you so much right now. Gah!


----------



## Steinerz

Like ****. I feel like I need to make a decision. A hard decision. Someone is getting hurt.


----------



## Revenwyn

Hungry and tired. Been awake for 22 hours. Need to stay up or I won't get sleep tonight.


----------



## TryingMara

Exhausted.


----------



## Charmeleon

Very very very bored


----------



## AceEmoKid

hella good, and i'm gonna keep on dancing.


----------



## mr hoang

shelbster18 said:


> I feel good about something I did yesterday but I'm not going to do it again. I was about to do it again tomorrow but I told my sister I didn't want to. :/ But it sure makes me feel like a rebel for once. It's not worth it.
> 
> And I still feel sad about other stuff in general. Too much for me to bear. I wish I had some kind of creature I could take everywhere with me to just make all the stress and frustration and whatnot go away.
> 
> I feel like I've done more for him than a lot of girls would for a guy. I don't know if I'm overestimating that sentence or not but yea. I've done my best but all I get is a cold shoulder. I pretty much risked my life yesterday. I guess most people would call me foolish but I just got this rush from it and that's all that matters because I'm not doing it but just that one time and it still makes me feel awesome.


Nice venting haha im enjoying it.


----------



## mr hoang

Tired. Dont want to work tmrw. I hate my job. Mostly because Im working with my dad. I need to break free but I cant find a career. The job market sucks.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Slightly nauseous & a hint nervouscited.


----------



## forever21

Bored. And my heart is beating fast for no reason..


----------



## eveningbat

Lonely.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Suddenly nauseous, jittery, the interminable melancholy that laid dormant the past few days now rising up my throat like bubbling sobs imminent.


----------



## Life Underneath The Soil

Upset, frustrated, confused.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy, bleh, etc


----------



## burgerchuckie

Scared.


----------



## cosmicslop

Everything is alright. I think I'm doing a good job of keeping negativity to a bare minimum so far. I also feel very lucky to have access to competent mental health professionals.


----------



## Tomyx

Like ****, need woman, do the sex, feel the feels. akljnasdlgjafslbgafdljk Brain no good.


----------



## Winterwalk

Tired all the time.


----------



## shelbster18

I am not feeling all that great today. More like meh but wanting to think I at least tried with the job thingy. I honestly believe it's literally impossible to get a job. My sister told me it can take years for some people to get one. Don't know if that's true or not but if that's the case, I'll more than likely never land a job. I heard that it's really hard to get a job down here in the south. My parents are always telling me to look for a job like they magically expect me to find one out in the air. lol...Every single time I apply, there's always some new advice I hear from her or someone else or wherever about what you need to do or say to get a job and I'm just like, "How do so many people get jobs and not me?" :/ 

With all this job searching I've been doing, I could get pay for a friggin' part-time job. :no Too bad people don't get money for looking so long for jobs almost every day. Taking breaks is always good or I'll be frustrating the living daylights out of my brain. xD...I even heard that you can do everything right and still only have like a one percent chance of getting a job. I find that hard to believe but okay then. If I Google help on getting jobs, it'll just give me even more of a headache and I don't want to do that anymore because no matter what I do, I most likely won't get it. The more advice I get about job hunting, the more ****ed up I'll be. Too much to remember. O_O Or maybe it's just because some people are meant to be lucky and others aren't. :/ Do I need someone to speak to a god just to hope that I get a job? :um Or maybe posting those flyers around town to clean houses will help. It's always best to try many options. 

My view on getting hired is that some people are just meant to get them and others aren't. I seriously used to think that if the bad people I was in classes with in HS could get a job, then I could but that's foolish to think. >_<


----------



## slyfox

Tired and unmotivated. Wanna do a lot tomorrow


----------



## Justlittleme

I feel like I am rude.

and I am. I just yelled at him in defense.

I felt misunderstood, it's always my fault.


I am stupid.


Also am a terrible person at the moment, plus, never let myself live.

Telling myself I am loser good for nothing nobody always. Why??


----------



## Yer Blues

Headache 

Anyone know if you can take Ibuprofen while on Effexor? I should ask in the medication forum.


----------



## Ally

Really tired, hungry, zombie like state, worried I'm gonna be screwed tomorrow but also full of energy and hyper. So, good times


----------



## buklti

Can't eat. Losing weight big time.


----------



## Owl-99

I'm feeling better than I did a week ago.


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

Uneasy. I got a call regarding my MRI results, and the receptionist said to me he said that it was 'nothing too serious.' Oh, but this is kind of MY BRAIN we're talking about here by the way..

YAY for life.


----------



## Queen of Spades

Angry


----------



## AceEmoKid

Disappointed on many levels. One of those levels resulting after a panic-induced full room search, then full apartment search through all my mum's "secret places" I know of to find my pills. They could have gotten lost anytime in the previous 4 days. If my mum didn't take them, the only other major possibilities would them be falling out of my bag someplace in public (which I take good care to make sure it's always zipped tight) or the security guard at my therapy appointment a few days ago found and snagged them silently when he checked my bag (maybe I looked away for a moment? But I don't remember doing so. I usually watch them closely to make sure). **** man. I was going to use them today.


----------



## Justlittleme

I feel like we should all quit SAS asap. and get a life by any means possible for each of us.


----------



## mattmc

Justlittleme said:


> I feel like we should all quit SAS asap. and get a life by any means possible for each of us.


SAS is a negative cycle most of the time. But it's hard to find anywhere else that we fit in and aren't consistently judged.


----------



## Justlittleme

mattmc said:


> SAS is a negative cycle most of the time. But it's hard to find anywhere else that we fit in and aren't consistently judged.


I know right. no where else to turn except maybe Tumblr or Youtube.


----------



## mattmc

Justlittleme said:


> I know right. no where else to turn except maybe Tumblr or Youtube.


Tumblr is actually a lot of fun tbh.


----------



## TryingMara

Drained after my meltdown.


----------



## diamondheart89

comfortable.


----------



## monotonous

want to fap but too sleepy


----------



## Nitrogen

I had a better day than expected, yet I feel ambivalent and almost upset. Probably the result of being completely drained out from prolonged social interaction (13+ hrs).


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Cranky, lazy, antisocial


----------



## Ally

I'm really sleepy, hungry and kinda nervous for tomorrow


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Starving


----------



## slyfox

Hungry, sick, depressed, and like time is running out


----------



## TenYears

Uhhhh....pretty creeped out right now. Just went to the laundry room to get the rest of my stuff, and as I'm walking up, I can see thru the window there's a guy in there, about my age, standing in front of the dryer I'm using, with the door open. And he's just staring. It was my socks and underwear. What. The. ****. He must have stood there for a full minute or more, even after I went in, he was still staring. At my underwear. I'm not even kidding. I kind of coughed, and then he says "Oh, you need to get to these? Here...here you go."

Huh????? Wot? Not sure if he's some kind of pervert or psycho or both. God my neighbors are weird.


----------



## leopard1

*A little relief*

Well as they say a problem shared is a problem halved.
I finally told my husband about the debt that has caused me uncontrollable anxiety over the past few weeks. He was super understanding and really put me at ease. We can try and get past this together.
The reason I finally told him was because I spent the whole of last night awake, slowly panicking and catastrophising. I couldn't take any more and had to tell him.
My anxiety is still hanging on in there but at least that feeling of being on my own to face this has abated.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Nervous. Tomorrow I have to meet my soon-to-be coworkers for our first training day. There's going to be icebreakers, I heard.... :/ I just know I'm going to fail, either looking like an asshat or a little ****ing coward. It's always one or the other.


----------



## AceEmoKid

eugh. dissociated and numb and slightly nauseous. none of which in the good way. plagued with self loathing.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Good, but not good at the same time. I think mostly good...


----------



## Bikescene

Quite nervous about meeting my uncle and aunt today. I shouldn't be nervous because they are family after all!


----------



## probably offline

I feel like I'm losing it. I don't want to keep breathing and I find it so hard to motivate myself to do what I have to do. My body feels numb and heavy even though it's light. Everything seems pointless, I can't stand being inside my body, seeing or hearing myself. Imagining myself dead in the future is the only thing that can ease my mind. I don't know what I'm doing or what for. I'm on some low budget auto-pilot. I don't know why I'm so much on SAS, either. It only brings me down further and it's boring.

That might've sounded very negative but it's how I truly feel. That's the starting point. The default mode that I'm always pulled back to. It's like I'm trying to stretch a really old rubber band out to get further, because I'm so sick of its original and ugly form, but it's so much more tiring to keep it stretched. I just let go and I'm right back to where I started in a heartbeat.


----------



## AceEmoKid

pppppppppppptttttttttttttht. first day of training (6 hours) for summer job. too much social interaction.


----------



## AceEmoKid

In a Lonely Place said:


> You did it tho, give yourself some credit


true. i did feel awkward for most of it though, especially the group activities/icebreakers. just one more of these training days to go, now.


----------



## Tomyx

Like ****, like usual.


----------



## blue2

Grand said:


> Extremely sad and lonely. Wish I could have a hug right about now. Heh. :/


----------



## soulstorm

I look back at some opportunities I had in life but I was too immature to realize what I had and how to keep it. Now I'm socially frustrated. I make a good living for myself but I feel so hopeless in nearly every way outside of the financial realm.


----------



## redstar312

Really bad.


----------



## Marakunda

I'm feeling how I usually feel. And I hate it.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Detached, floating between the torn strips of wallpapered reality. It took me several moments before I realized I was staring back at my reflection in the mirror. Pieces of my face look stretched, distorted, rippling slightly as if the glass were water in a pond a child just threw a pebble into. This always happens when I'm alone. I need to look at another mobile form to be snapped back into awareness.


----------



## redstar312

Depressive.


----------



## moloko

PandaBearx said:


> I don't know how to become stronger though....


Exactly by doing all those things you want to do. And by failing and trying again. Hiding from life won't make you stronger. I don't think those advices you're getting are in your best interest to follow. They can tell you that to protect you, but you won't gain anything by not exposing yourself to failure.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I bit sore/exhausted from all the lifting at work last night. Self loathing otherwise


----------



## BillDauterive

Meh. Eh. Feh. Geh.


----------



## PandaBearx

moloko said:


> Exactly by doing all those things you want to do. And by failing and trying again. Hiding from life won't make you stronger. I don't think those advices you're getting are in your best interest to follow. They can tell you that to protect you, but you won't gain anything by not exposing yourself to failure.


I know I'm trying to ease myself back into life, but everyone's telling me to just go slow not to take on too many things. Which okay I understand, but sometimes I really want to try to put in as much effort as I can instead of half assing everything. (Not sure if that's silly?) I get where they're coming from with some things, but at the same time I feel they're underestimating me. It's okay for me to screw up and get hurt b/c it's most likely going to happen, it's unavoidable and tbh not something I want to really hide from. They're very........discouraging about everything. From school, to work, etc. and I just don't fully understand why? If I had a kid with anxiety I think I would try to pump them up to do what they want in life not tear them down & tell them they couldn't. :stu having anxiety is hard enough as it is.


----------



## moloko

Because they're afraid you get hurt in some way, and that's ok. But you seem to know exactly what you should and must do and you need to tell them that you want to experience and try all those things. Protective parents can be detrimental, even though their intentions are the best.

And should you decide to try, don't get discouraged if you fail. Like you said that's part of life.


----------



## Lianthe

Ok, more sad about Rik Mayall than myself.


----------



## mr hoang

Not too good. I have a canker sore and its painful to chew or move my mouth.


----------



## Marakunda

Bored.
Paranoid.
Anxious.
And tired.


----------



## PandaBearx

Like I'm about to eat my house. Currently I'm craving nachos with tons of melted cheese :Q


----------



## AceEmoKid

Quite a day ahead. Though not nearly as much anticipation anxiety as I used to have. Mainly a creeping apathy. Not sure why. Not sure how I feel about it all.


----------



## PandaBearx

A sad kind of happiness.


----------



## diamondheart89

like a content cat.


----------



## MiMiK

so ****ing confused


----------



## AceEmoKid

If only I could scream across the internet.


----------



## Tokztero

Good


----------



## Fat Man

Shunned, Embarrassed, Confused.


----------



## tea111red

^yeah, shunned is a good word to describe things.


----------



## Charmeleon

Meh...


----------



## shelbster18

I'm feeling paranoid. I actually thought there was a ghost smoking (I could see smoke flames) in my room a few days ago and I thought I could feel its presence in mmy room. I hallucinated or thought I did and saw smoke flames. Yesterday, my sister's boyfriend gives me a book called In the Realm of Ghosts and Hauntings and tells me to read it. I don't think that's a coincidence. :um

Oh my gosh. I sound so dumb. lol But I want to believe.


----------



## TenYears

Anxious about going to therapy tomorrow morning (or, this morning). I'm so tired of playing this game. Had my assessment last week, so I guess she's going to dive right into my issues this week. There is nothing that this woman can tell me that I haven't heard a million times before. Btdt so many times. I jogged my memory earlier and I believe she is the sixteenth therapist or psychiatrist that I've seen. Not counting the ones I only saw once or twice and never went back to. :afr :bash


----------



## Mikebissle

Only got two hours of sleep, but not too bad. Trying to revive my life schedule, so I'll be turned back around anyway.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sore, cranky, lazy


----------



## BillDauterive




----------



## shelbster18

shelbster18 said:


> I'm feeling paranoid. I actually thought there was a ghost smoking (I could see smoke flames) in my room a few days ago and I thought I could feel its presence in mmy room. I hallucinated or thought I did and saw smoke flames. Yesterday, my sister's boyfriend gives me a book called In the Realm of Ghosts and Hauntings and tells me to read it. I don't think that's a coincidence. :um
> 
> Oh my gosh. I sound so dumb. lol But I want to believe.


Or maybe he's a ghost summoner trying to summon a ghost into my room. My sister acted like she was serious that he has imaginary friends. xD Or it could be that the imaginary friend I created is real. ;o That explains the lost phone. I'm thinking too much about silly things. xD I feel kind of like **** to be honest. I didn't get any sleep at all because I was pretty much getting obsessive thoughts that I'm an evil person all morning.  What have I done? I still have bad things happen to me. My mom makes me feel like I'm even more of a bad person for basically grounding me and my sister. I'm not an immature kid that doesn't know how to behave. We've been working our asses off to look for jobs and we're even having a yard sale just to get money to pay for gas to put in the car. I don't get what her deal is. It's like she's trying to make me seem like even more of a bad person. 

I wanted to wash some clothes the other day I was going to sell and my other sister (the one I'm not close to) was talking to my mom on the phone and she told us that our mother said not to use the laundry machine because it's messed up. My mother just used it today. :/ It's like when we want to help, she keeps us from doing that to make us seem even worse. I worry about me and my sister. I don't want my sister to get violent again. She punched a hole in her wall like a couple of weeks ago from going insane having to stay in. My mother told us the day before yesterday that we could go out and she still texts us yesterday while we're gone to come back home. I'm scared. I don't know what's going on anymore.


----------



## deadliest

i have no feelings


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Like a Volkswagen without a windshield.


----------



## shelbster18

Eh, I'm managing but I'm starting to think I'm just a weird, freak. >_< I don't know why I feel like I'm a hypochondriac just because of a damn cold. I could understand if I had wheezing or something. As long as I'm breathing fine. :blank I wish I could take back most of the **** from the past few weeks or even the past month. I feel like all this weird **** has been happening since two months ago. And then it just topples more and more on top of each other the further the days go by. It's like I can have something good happen. Then something bad to ruin the good. Then I make a post or a personal post and I cringe so hard but try to be in denial and not regret what I posted. But I'll just say **** it. I'm not in denial. On top of that, I feel like a bipolar person the way I post. I can be all happy go lucky one day and the next minute, I'm just some crazy person seeing things. I just post to pretend like the same person is reading my posts all the time to feel like someone knows what I'm going through or what I'm doing every day. I shouldn't have to feel that way as much now. 

Welp, guess part of it is the Adderall. Kind of. I shouldn't blame my faults on the medication, though. **** meds. What's even worse is that my mom is still hiding the keys to the Expedition but I have an extra set of keys to the other car, which will be here in the morning because she's not working. I'm getting out of this house for a couple of days and hopefully, that makes me not so crazy when I get back. I'ma delete some posts now. I am officially a mental, crazy person. Thought about banning myself permanently but then I'd regret that, too. I honestly don't know what is to blame for the start of this all. Uh, I guess me. My emotions can be so embarrassing sometimes.


----------



## TryingMara

Anxious and indecisive.


----------



## cosmicslop

Feeling sick is ruining my mood. Everything is annoying me.

edit: nvm. I feel better now.


----------



## Perkins

AceEmoKid said:


> hella good, and i'm gonna keep on dancing.


That's some evil witchcraft as its finest when all you have to do is read one small sentence and the song is instantly stuck in your head.


----------



## PandaBearx

Tired


----------



## SilentLyric

PandaBearx said:


> Tired


yeah this


----------



## slyfox

Exhausted


----------



## Canadian Brotha

slyfox said:


> Exhausted


Likewise


----------



## scornfultacos

scornful


----------



## SilentLyric

exhausted + anxious


----------



## Ally

Sleepy, bored and desperately hoping I don't get asked to work tomorrow since I'm on call. I never get Saturdays off!!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

All over the map...sore from this past work week, burnout from herb, elated by the footy matches today, overtired from poor sleep all week, & self loathing...my vibe is circulating as frequently as my blood


----------



## AceEmoKid

Nauseated, undesirable, odd.


----------



## Marko3

i guess im tired.. but my body doesnt want to go to bed.. i want to be rested tomorrow for my cycling.. someone plz teleport here and smack me one!


----------



## kilgoretrout

I miss my dog.


----------



## Davis6050

I feel like I am never inside my body. Like I am just watching it from another perspective. I have Tourette syndrome and ADD. Although I have not been diagnosed, I KNOW I have social anxiety. I am 14 years old. And sometimes very ghetto(grew up in Atlanta), then sometimes very nerdy (This is what some people say.) I am 6 ft 6 and about 261 pounds but I look more like a leaner 220. I always feel awkward and out of place. People always come up to me and harass me about my height. I always have panic attacks. Add this to the fact I am a guy and have stretch marks from growing on places that i hide so I am even more self conscious. My parents are no help. They nitpick EVERYTHING I do LITERALLY. The way I breathe, walk, talk, look, stand, write, move, etc. I cannot be in the same room with them without being belittled. On top of that they are trying to force me to play sports but I hate sports, and do not want to mess up and have the whole school make fun of me or something. Everyone tries to force me to play sports like I am obligated to do something involving my height. But it is annoying though because despite my appearance I am VERY shy. I am they nerdy type. I wear glasses, love computer programming, and am in Ap and honors classes. But everyone thinks I need to play sports. But I do not like speaking to people. When someone who looks popular try to talk to me I act disgusted almost and it is almost like an instant reaction. And it feels like no matter what I do I will always have something wrong.


----------



## vanishingpt

Mix of good and bad. It was overall a good day, watched some great matches today (though the officiating was pretty iffy) and finished my scholarship application. Going to leave it for a few days and go back and revise later on. Managed to get a 1 hour workout in but then I ended up taking a nap afterwards and now I feel all weird lol. I want to get up early tomorrow to do some brain storming but my class starts early, I want to squeeze in another workout, and my sleep schedule's all messed up so I don't know if that will be possible.


----------



## Fat Man

Defeated and very stupid.


----------



## mr hoang

Alone. So very alone. Worst ive felt in awhile and I cant shake the feeling. Didnt feel like myself today and I cant explain it.


----------



## Schmosby

mr hoang said:


> Alone. So very alone. Worst ive felt in awhile and I cant shake the feeling. Didnt feel like myself today and I cant explain it.


I'm more bored than lonely, I've run out of online friends now and have no real life friends, so I have nobody at all to talk to, apart from someone I've been messaging on here, but I expect that will end, then I'll have to talk to myself lol.


----------



## mr hoang

Schmosby said:


> I'm more bored than lonely, I've run out of online friends now and have no real life friends, so I have nobody at all to talk to, apart from someone I've been messaging on here, but I expect that will end, then I'll have to talk to myself lol.


lol it doesnt have to end. but I guess its also a two way street.


----------



## probably offline

Lonely and stressed out about how much I have to do.


----------



## AceEmoKid

someone link me some angry punk music to thrash my head to
im just 
ggggggggggggggggggggg


----------



## AceEmoKid

The mild hallucinations, "the disturbances," making a scattered, though incrementally increasing return to my visual, auditory, and tactile senses. They always seem to come when I'm in a fit or rage....or rather, the aftermath. The silence and open mouthed apathy, the stare straight forward into narrowing nothingness, that brings swooping shapes and flitting forms and flashing colors momentarily, like sparks flying off the flame. 

I feel...un-everything. Devoid. Of all. I'm not here. Dissociative episode **** as I'm ****ing typing this. It's getting difficult to type....I'm suddenly really dizzy, and my eyes are involuntarily sinking, my vision is unfocused..I keep having to blink to clear the fog, only for it to seep right back in. My eyes are just a continual cycle of moons rising and eclipsing. I feel heavy, despite the sensation of hollowness in my balloon like head. My neck is the string, taut as the balloon head tugs, striving for the clouds, and oblivion beyond, yet my heavy body beneath it weighs to the ground like a slumped over sack of rotting flesh. There are flies buzzing around me. I can hear them vividly....it's freaking me out. If I concentrate hard enough, and stop typing for a moment, I can will them away by remembering it's all just an illusion of my mind. I have just this slightest grip of reality. It's just enough. Besides that....everything is just. Unreal.


----------



## slyfox

Have been feeling nauseous since my meal earlier  Tried to do some crafting while feeling this way and now am sweaty


----------



## cosmicslop

I've been restless.


----------



## Pompeii

Tired and depressed and fat.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

AceEmoKid said:


> someone link me some angry punk music *to thrash my head to*
> im just
> ggggggggggggggggggggg


 That almost sounds....painful. Sorry. I don't know any but I'm gonna try thrashing my head sometime to whatever I can find. Might not have the same effect with a bald head though.


----------



## crimeclub

AceEmoKid said:


> someone link me some angry punk music to thrash my head to
> im just
> ggggggggggggggggggggg


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Meh, can't complain too much.


----------



## AceEmoKid

been freaking out about work starting tomorrow all day today. :/


----------



## AceEmoKid

crimeclub said:


>


not bad. thanks. :3


----------



## WillYouStopDave

AceEmoKid said:


> been freaking out about work starting tomorrow all day today. :/


 Hope it goes OK.


----------



## EternalTime

Horrible about my personality right now. >.<


----------



## Fat Man

Pretty nervous... and sleepy, I should really get to bed.


----------



## zoslow

Very calm and at ease


----------



## redstar312

Fat and ugly.


----------



## shelbster18

I'm doing better today. I don't have that weird feeling after having it for probably a week or more. I cleaned some dishes yesterday and today and swept the floor. Tomorrow, I'm going to wash a couple of cars. It just hurts that I get told I'm lazy and pathetic to my face. :/ I don't know what people expect from me. Am I not trying? I don't even have a job and I'm still doing **** around the house and not even getting paid for it. That's not lazy to me but guess it is to everyone else.


----------



## slyfox

Filled with anxiety


----------



## tea111red

Bored and I've felt ill all day.


----------



## Fat Man

A little worried for a loved one yet angry at them at the same time.


----------



## Justlittleme

tired


----------



## Jammer25

I can feel a cold coming on, so that sucks. I think my brother passed it to me when he visited this weekend.


----------



## redstar312

Dejected.


----------



## redstar312

I hate everything about myself.


----------



## TheWelshOne

Cynical


----------



## Marakunda

I'm feeling ****ing awesome.

We learned tonight that IMPULSIVE decisions will save you.


----------



## slyfox

Dead tired


----------



## mr hoang

Marakunda said:


> I'm feeling ****ing awesome.
> 
> We learned tonight that IMPULSIVE decisions will save you.


really? how so.


----------



## Fat Man

Nice and clean


----------



## BillDauterive

slyfox said:


> Dead tired


I feel you. I could really use a few hours nap at work now. :mum


----------



## Sacrieur

Felt pretty good today.

It's only going to go up from here.


----------



## Shizuma

"One person is missing, and your world is a desert."

So I'm not really okay right now.


----------



## shelbster18

I'm feeling good that I have a job interview at Victoria's Secret on June 27th.  My sister has one on the same day at the same time. She said she'll tell them that both me and her get along, though. But I'm sure she'll be the one to get a job and not me. I just need to be equally positive and negative. Not too negative or too positive. Job interviews are a blessing sometimes even if I don't get the job because I don't have to worry about a job for another 9 and a half days. lol I think Victoria's Secret would be a good place to work at. I want a job where I at least want to work there. No point in working at a place I don't want to like McDonald's. Ugh, that's the last place I want to work at. A good thing about working at a place you want to work at is that you can get discounts and **** like that. That's why I want to work at clothing stores and stuff like that. I could literally go shopping at Victoria's Secret when I'm not working if I get the job there. xD Haha, how cool that would be. I'm a little excited but don't want to get my hopes up too much.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Relieved, and comfortably exhausted. Work when soooo much more smoothly today due to some changes my sister made. It was nerve wracking and I stuttered awkwardly for a lot of it, but I led one of the day's main activities, led song time with my co counselor, and read to the entire camp at story time. I think story time was my strong suit -- usually I'm very quiet, but once I get in the "reading zone," I can project quite well and enthusiastically. Almost all the girls paid attention, which is quite a feat considering I watch their attention falter most other times stories are read. I have a minor problem with one of my co workers, who is rather hot and cold with me, but luckily my sister (the director) informed me that she's usually like that -- curt and a bid rude -- and that she'd try her best not to pair me up with her any of the future weeks.


----------



## EternalTime

Happy, and pretty smitten.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and lonely, as usual. I think this is going to be the norm now. It used to come and go in spurts, but now I feel like this 24/7.


----------



## copper

My right knee hurts when bending at it is popping. Walking up and down stairs hurt. I hate my house.


----------



## Ckg2011

Both my shoulders are done and I probably need to have them scoped by a doctor. My sinus are causing me to have a sore throat and coughing.


----------



## unstable

not good enough :/


----------



## Fat Man

Lonely, foolish, and embarrassed. I feel everything I have said today has been nothing but useless, stupid, nonsense


----------



## Justlittleme

Upset at this. I wish I had answers, the correct ones, instead of more mystery upon mystery. =\ and then I never even live.

Should we move on? and call it a day forever? What is this....... come on there was effort involved, so why.


----------



## Citrine

Just unsure about every decision I make. Doesn't take much to doubt myself nowadays.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Like a lopsided blob of relish.


----------



## frosted

Like I don't matter. Also sick because I caught a flu but can't rest.


----------



## Shizuma

Heart-break. I'm going to let some tears come and then it'll be time to stand up and I'll be like a volcanic eruption.


----------



## Patriot

Like I wanna die


----------



## slyfox

Awful. I'm tired, have acid reflux burning my throat, and am hungry.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

AceEmoKid said:


> Relieved, and comfortably exhausted. Work when soooo much more smoothly today due to some changes my sister made. It was nerve wracking and I stuttered awkwardly for a lot of it, but I led one of the day's main activities, led song time with my co counselor, and read to the entire camp at story time. I think story time was my strong suit -- usually I'm very quiet, but once I get in the "reading zone," I can project quite well and enthusiastically. Almost all the girls paid attention, which is quite a feat considering I watch their attention falter most other times stories are read. I have a minor problem with one of my co workers, who is rather hot and cold with me, but luckily my sister (the director) informed me that she's usually like that -- curt and a bid rude -- and that she'd try her best not to pair me up with her any of the future weeks.


:clap I'm glad it seemed to go smoothly for you!


----------



## Marko3

Kibun wa dou desu ka? 

Well.. i feel epic currently!


----------



## cj66

Grateful for this site. Because away from here I feel like this perpetual outsider so alien in how I view and react to things. 

I can't relate enough to most people to establish any *real* connections ... but what's worrying me is I feel I may be losing the motivation to even keep trying. But maybe casual acquaintances is all I'm capable of?


----------



## idoughnutknow

I haven't felt a thing in months


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Worried about what devious things the future has in store.


----------



## TryingMara

Ashamed, pathetic and embarrassed.


----------



## Fat Man

I feel determined for no reason...and I like it


----------



## EternalTime

Inspired.


----------



## oood

nothing


----------



## Barette

Really. ****ing. ANGRY.


----------



## diamondheart89

Confused.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

diamondheart89 said:


> Confused.


 Why?


----------



## diamondheart89

WillYouStopDave said:


> Why?


I got up off my *** and went to a social gathering at the request of someone I used to be friends with. I thought it'd be a nice simple evening of mundane chit chat. Now they want me to move out of state with them. :con I just wanted free food. Not a living arrangement. :sus And I'm confused because for some reason I told them I'd think about it. Why did I say that??


----------



## WillYouStopDave

diamondheart89 said:


> I got up off my *** and went to a social gathering at the request of someone I used to be friends with. I thought it'd be a nice simple evening of mundane chit chat. Now they want me to move out of state with them. :con I just wanted free food. Not a living arrangement. :sus And I'm confused because for some reason I told them I'd think about it. Why did I say that??


 I thought you were engaged or something. Or was that someone else?


----------



## Charmeleon

Tired even though I havent done anything all day :/


----------



## diamondheart89

WillYouStopDave said:


> I thought you were engaged or something. Or was that someone else?


:um I'm not engaged, I'm in a relationship. No this is a girl I used to be close friends with back in the day.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

diamondheart89 said:


> :um I'm not engaged, I'm in a relationship. No this is a girl I used to be close friends with back in the day.


 Oh. It must have been someone else. Yeah, that is weird. Did you ask why?


----------



## diamondheart89

WillYouStopDave said:


> Oh. It must have been someone else. Yeah, that is weird. Did you ask why?


She wants to escape our hometown. Well, so do I. But...but... it's out of nowhere. 50% of me wants to say what the hell why not, let's do it. The other 50% of me is sane and realistic. Hence the confusion.


----------



## adiyon84

Feel sad 

Just had panic attack when having lunch with my colleagues. Hmmm...


----------



## Charmeleon

I'm falling into depression mode ;(


----------



## crimeclub

Barette said:


> Really. ****ing. ANGRY.


****ing grocery store baggers, am I right?


----------



## Barette

crimeclub said:


> ****ing grocery store baggers, am I right?


No. This time it's a ****ing a***** of a different variety.


----------



## SilentLyric

ugh like a fool easily parted with his money. and gross because I ate all that.


----------



## probably offline

Overwhelmed. And quite sad.


----------



## mezzoforte

satiated


----------



## BillDauterive

Irritated at hearing a co-worker talking at the next room to me.


----------



## redstar312

Dejected.


----------



## mr hoang

Frustrated. Unlucky. My parents always expect me to work for them its so stupid. Its like they dont want me to be happy. Ive told them many times that I need to find another job yet they dont seem acknowledge it. It ****ing pisses me off. My mom is complaining about her sore foot this year. My dad wants to go to vancouver this summer expecting me to take care of his business again. **** you cant expect me to do it forever. Im done this summer. I need to do something else. How many ****en times do I need to say it. Its my life, im not your slave!


----------



## mr hoang

That felt good to get out!


----------



## chelseadog

I'm feeling like none of the people I care about could possibly understand how much of a struggle everyday life is for me. I'm in school so 5 days a week I have to get up early and go to basically my worst fear. I go to a big school because it's "better" and I'm supposed to "break out of my shell" there. I have to speak up in class because my stupid teachers always call on me just because I get good grades. Just because I can get an A on your stupid worksheet doesn't mean that I know the answer for every text-book question that you throw at me, and even if I do know the answer, there is no way in hell that I am comfortable telling my class of 30 people. So you would think I would feel better now that it's summer and I don't have to deal with that, right? Well now I have to explain to my parents why no, I really don't want to go to the neighborhood pool or have a huge birthday party or be a "normal" teenager. I'm in therapy but I can only go every other week because it's really far from my house, so things are going slow due to the first half of the session being spent trying to remember what we did last time. I am just so done with everything right now.


----------



## shelbster18

I'm having mixed feelings. Right now, I feel upset because my mom gave my sister back that quilt we got our father for Father's Day. I know it was a king size and it's too big for their bed but that was a dick move for her to do. I don't see the problem in just folding it to where it fits on the bed. And I'm happy that my sunburn is peeling so I can pick it off.


----------



## cj66

Irritated. I keep telling myself not to overdo it with stupid text smilies and !s but I do it anyway. Then I not only feel like an idiot afterwards but I look like one too.


----------



## Charmeleon

I want to party


----------



## cj66

A bit better because I deleted that ****. But it's not like it wasn't read by people. 

But the fact I deleted it when I've got messages there waiting for me makes me feel bad again.


----------



## Pompeii

Fed up.


----------



## londonguy202

Fat,Scared about what the future holds, tired of life in general


----------



## cj66

Sad about so much. Reality hitting again. Who he thinks I am doesn't resemble the mess that I am irl. But I don't want to come across as depressed to him so I end up overdoing it when it likely isn't necessary. Then others come along and effortlessly express sentiments that would never be mistaken for lame attempts at attention-seeking. I wish I could self-delete.


----------



## rdrr

exhausted, upset, angry


----------



## monroe1

I'm anxious because my friends are going out and i don't want to


----------



## shelbster18

I'm fed up. My mom canceled my Psychiatrist appointment that I was supposed to have today and I'm supposed to get my Adderall refilled. But I can't go out to get my prescription for more when the damn ***** won't let me take the car to go out to go anywhere. :mum I ****ing want my Adderall. She wants to make me go mental right when I get out and do stuff. I need a social life and haven't had one since my childhood. I'm trying to make up for that ****. It's a priority to me right now. I'm sick and tired of being *****ed at. Everyone just *****es at me. Here's a *****. There's a *****. Everywhere a ***** *****. I'm trying to stay in the house two days in a row so she'll let me go out again but even then, she'll still ***** at me on my phone and I don't want to deal with that when I'm out. My dad is in a good mood, too. I don't want to ruin that.


----------



## PlayerOffGames

feeling like you on some crazy ish again! :b :squeeze ...i kinda miss you...kinda sorta a lil bit maybe...pm me...im not pming you...i _am_ sad that youre upset though...but im glad your dad isnt giving you trouble right now...oh, shelbs!...we had so much fun together...at least thats how i felt...dunno about you...anyway...im not gonna get a pm, am i?...its ok, you have your reasons...

"yo dog, when i really wanna have a ball
i just pop a lil mother*****ing adderall"

d^_^b

*hugs*


----------



## TheDaffodil

My body is tired but my mind is not so I don't see the point in giving into my body. My mind would keep me awake and I'd only grow frustrated with it. So I feel unsatisfied; impossible to satisfy.


----------



## Yer Blues

Like crap. I look like a ****ing giant cooked lobster. I've had an allergy reaction to something. Not the Effexor as I get this around this time every year. A certain plant that pollinates at this time of year must be the culprit.


----------



## vanishingpt

Feeling good after a late night workout. Missed the evening World Cup match today, but ended up writing notes that I need to finish up before school starts, and working out scheduling for the upcoming semesters for the next school year. It'll be a big year because I'll still be holding onto an internship while doing an extra certificate program on the side. Might also be taking on an extra course to fill up a missing class they won't be offering this year so I'm worried about how busy it'll be since it's graduation year from my main program.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Buzzed. Faded. A little angry. A little depressed. Mostly apathetic. I can't focus on anything. It's all futile. It's so difficult and I'm too stupid and stubborn to figure it out.


----------



## EternalTime

Smitten, happy, comfortable, inspired for writing due to the music I'm listening to. I couldn't be any better. >_<


----------



## redstar312

Dejected.


----------



## Yer Blues

Itchy


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Pretty much totally apathetic right now.


----------



## mr hoang

Tired. Got home around 1 yesterday after a movie. Was suppose to work today but I dont know whats going on.


----------



## Agnes7

a bit tense, as usual


----------



## T Studdly

Very weak, the first day of my monthly event is hell so i'm in bed, poped some midol to ease the pain and it's working now but still feel very weak nd dizzy.

As for just feeling, despite my crappy condition i'm very content

A little tense though because of the increasing crime rate in my town though but other than that i'm alright.


----------



## redstar312

Crappy, dejected, useless.


----------



## shelbster18

I'm sooooo hungry. I feel like I could eat a buffet right now. Mudda****a. >_<...I got a Cadbury roasted almond bar and ate 9 pieces earlier. I'm eating the rest in a few hours. I'm going to have to wait that long. Can't eat anywhere from like 9 to 1 at night. That's my rule for when not to eat. Don't want to gain or lose weight. Well, I wouldn't mind losing weight in certain areas but I don't want to be too small and I definitely don't want to gain weight. I had McDonald's food for the first time in years like a week ago and I'm just thinking about that right now and this chocolate and that pineapple bake I cooked earlier. T_T I just want to lay on a whole pile of food and roll around in it and take a bite out of while I'm rolling in it. That's how hungry I feel. When I take my Adderall, I won't feel hungry. That's fo shiggity sho. But I'm not taking it every day. I'm only going to take it as needed.


----------



## slyfox

Very tired and down


----------



## nycdude

Sleepy, feeling down, tired, been inside most of my time since school ended back 2 weeks ago.


----------



## Schmosby

Bit tired but all good


----------



## Kakumbus

Gut hurts like **** and life is hopeless, kill me now,


----------



## Fleurs

I'm worried and stressed out thinking about bills.


----------



## Charmeleon

I'm so freaking hungry lol, fasting is harder than I thought xD


----------



## EndlessBlu

Impale my head on a pike and parade it around the Internet


----------



## PandaBearx

Sleepy & stressed.


----------



## Dissonance

Angry as ever. I can not stand the stupidity. I don't believe I am a genius but damn some people


----------



## Kakumbus




----------



## rockiscool

OK


----------



## Wanderlust89

Pissed off, bitter, lonely, depressed....


----------



## mr hoang

Happy, lonely, bored, excited. For many reasons


----------



## bewilderedminerals

Pretty great. I got a job and start this Wednesday. Things are coming together.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

REALLY cold. D:


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Highly anxious


----------



## Fangs

Feeling a bit better than I was earlier. Going to try and be a little productive over the next few hours. Maybe get some get some housework done


----------



## CQcumber

Depressed as usual.


----------



## AllieG

Tired even though I slept like 10 hours...


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Pretty damn angry tbh.


----------



## Unknown0001

Exhausted


----------



## pocketbird

CQcumber said:


> Depressed as usual.


*hugs*

I'm fine. I tried to get back into running today and did terrible..felt glum about it and cried a bit. I guess I'm not ready to be alone again.. or fall back into my routine. I miss having my sister and my nephew around.


----------



## Shewhodreams

Bored... even though I could be doing my math homework but I rather procrastinate.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I think I would like to be kinda drunk right now.


----------



## masterridley

Tired and paralyzed.

Also, I feel this depression all over me like a blanket.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Pretty ****ty. Things just aren't working out in my social life.


----------



## frosted

Anxiety is hitting, why must work start so soon.


----------



## To22

#colapes


----------



## riderless

well at least an aussie beat nadal in wimbledon


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Bored and dull, with a touch of sad.


----------



## zoslow

Extremely tired. I rarely sleep more than 6-7 hours max and last night I slept only 4. Wish I didn't had to go get groceries cause I feel like I could walk out right in front of a car or something, good thing I don't need to drive there.


----------



## tea111red

I feel okay.


----------



## pocketbird

I'm alright.. debating whether I should drink or not to make me feel better. But I'll hold back on that. I think I'm just gonna take a jog later because I can't stand not trying hard enough.


----------



## Justlittleme

Actually my body hurts so i've been ranting. Realizing I am alone in this. and I think I am dust. I'll be gone from Sas like I didn't even exist........... like you never even existed. Goodbye SAS and this time forever.


----------



## mr hoang

Excited for the weekend. Goin on a little road trip. Also doing some white water rafting!


----------



## AllieG

Nervous but hopeful


----------



## slyfox

Sick. Probably just a head cold


----------



## probably offline

Wishing I was dead.


----------



## jeanny

Tired.


----------



## slyfox

Depressed and like going back to bed. Don't feel like doing anything


----------



## SamiEastCoast

Played


----------



## Yer Blues

mr hoang said:


> Excited for the weekend. Goin on a little road trip. Also doing some white water rafting!


Nice. Near Jasper?

I have a headache.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

****ty. I hate myself, my family and my life.

FML


----------



## T Studdly

Pretty f***ing pissed of because some people are pieces of **** and deserve to suffer. Man f*** life and the human race. Everything is pointless I don't give a **** anymore about ****

F***!


----------



## mr hoang

Yer Blues said:


> Nice. Near Jasper?
> 
> I have a headache.


Actually near banff. Im doing a more advanced one this time last year we did the family one and it was really tame.


----------



## mr hoang

Hasnt anyone been to the calgary stampede. Im going tomorrow. Not sure what to expect.


----------



## Yer Blues

mr hoang said:


> Actually near banff. Im doing a more advanced one this time  last year we did the family one and it was really tame.


I was close, it is the Rockies.  Jasper (or the area around there) has some class 4 or 5 rapids.


----------



## mr hoang

Yer Blues said:


> I was close, it is the Rockies.  Jasper (or the area around there) has some class 4 or 5 rapids.


Cool maybe ill check that out next time. The one im doing is class 3-4.
Ive only been to jasper for a highschool bike trip, so its been years. Never had a reason to head back there.


----------



## Yer Blues

mr hoang said:


> Ive only been to jasper for a highschool bike trip, so its been years. Never had a reason to head back there.


I like it better than Banff. A little less commercial and the terrain is a little more rugged and less developed. If you ever get the chance take highway 93 from Jasper to Banff. Amazing drive.


----------



## mr hoang

Yer Blues said:


> I like it better than Banff. A little less commercial and the terrain is a little more rugged and less developed. If you ever get the chance take highway 93 from Jasper to Banff. Amazing drive.


Ic. I think ill try the jasper one next time.
I just got back today and I had a blast man. A bit more intense this time and we got to ride a few more waves and some surfing. We also did a cliff jump. I got caught in the middle of the stream and needed to get roped in, that was a bit scary haha. It would be nice to get more than 2hrs on the water though. The jasper one does sound more fun.


----------



## Marakunda

Way too conscious
Bored
tired
lonely
Slightly horny/sexually frustrated
Depressed
Lost
Hungry


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Not great. Slightly nervous, worried, and frustrated.


----------



## Yer Blues

mr hoang said:


> Ic. I think ill try the jasper one next time.
> I just got back today and I had a blast man. A bit more intense this time and we got to ride a few more waves and some surfing. We also did a cliff jump. I got caught in the middle of the stream and needed to get roped in, that was a bit scary haha. It would be nice to get more than 2hrs on the water though. The jasper one does sound more fun.


Caught in a whirlpool? I'd do a few more runs in that class before you go up. I used to do cliff jumping a lot in N. Ontario.


----------



## mr hoang

Yer Blues said:


> Caught in a whirlpool? I'd do a few more runs in that class before you go up. I used to do cliff jumping a lot in N. Ontario.


Yeah the cliff jump is quite exilarating. I dont know if it was a whirpool, I think I jumped too far out haha. I was over confident in my swimming ability too. the stream was so quick, when I surfaced I was already close to the point I was suppose to turn in.
Yeah thats probably best.


----------



## Yer Blues

mr hoang said:


> Yeah the cliff jump is quite exilarating. I dont know if it was a whirpool, I think I jumped too far out haha. I was over confident in my swimming ability too. the stream was so quick, when I surfaced I was already close to the point I was suppose to turn in.
> Yeah thats probably best.


Yeah, they usually recommend that. I get too confident in my swimming ability with a life jacket on.


----------



## mr hoang

Yer Blues said:


> Yeah, they usually recommend that. I get too confident in my swimming ability with a life jacket on.


Haha it definitelty requires alot more effort. What are whirpools like?


----------



## shelbster18

Not feeling good today. I'm so scared of my dad that I had to pee in a ****ing bottle in my room and my mom is stalking me with texts wondering where my sister is at. And my two oldest sisters are idiots for not doing a damn thing to help me out. I'm sure they know I'm getting abused. They just don't care and I doubt my other sis won't bring her dogs over to the house to hang out over here. **** her for leaving me with my dad.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

A little nervous..


----------



## Yer Blues

mr hoang said:


> Haha it definitelty requires alot more effort. What are whirpools like?


I've never been caught in one. I've seen people get caught in them and they get pretty freaked about it. A lot of them say that's the last time they go rafting, lol.


----------



## mr hoang

Yer Blues said:


> I've never been caught in one. I've seen people get caught in them and they get pretty freaked about it. A lot of them say that's the last time they go rafting, lol.


Haha damn. I guess I wouldnt blame them though. It seems like something thats tough to get out of even if you are experienced and the high risk of getting thrown from it.
Its not a joking matter sometimes.


----------



## Yer Blues

mr hoang said:


> Haha damn. I guess I wouldnt blame them though. It seems like something thats tough to get out of even if you are experienced and the high risk of getting thrown from it.
> Its not a joking matter sometimes.


If you panic badly you can suck water into your lungs and drown.


----------



## mr hoang

Yer Blues said:


> If you panic badly you can suck water into your lungs and drown.


Thats scary man.


----------



## Yer Blues

mr hoang said:


> Thats scary man.


Probably glad I didn't tell you about this before you went, eh?


----------



## mr hoang

Yer Blues said:


> Probably glad I didn't tell you about this before you went, eh?


Haha ya. It definitely wouldve given me some anxiety but wouldnt stop me from going. 
Just the entire experience was cool. meeting people from different parts of the world. We had a family that came from Scottland, and England. One of the instructors was from Holland.
Yeah.


----------



## Yer Blues

mr hoang said:


> Haha ya. It definitely wouldve given me some anxiety but wouldnt stop me from going.
> Just the entire experience was cool. meeting people from different parts of the world. We had a family that came from Scottland, and England. One of the instructors was from Holland.
> Yeah.


Well, it is a rare event getting caught. Too much fun not to go.

Yep, the rafting seems to attract a lot of Europeans to work in Banff & Jasper. Anywhere you go in those two places you tend to run into more foreigners than Canadians.


----------



## aloneandtired

Depressed and lonely. Ugly and worhtless.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Pretty good now. I feel like I have had a bit of a win against anxiety. I even managed to go in the change rooms, haha. :um


----------



## Wacky Wednesdays

Depressed and sad about everyday life, excited about the near future.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Bleh. Confused. I suppose I don't need to rush my sexuality though. If I fall in love with a guy, then that's fine.

BUT. What if I fall in love with a girl? If I fall in love with a girl, I'll feel like a lesbian, if that makes any sense. I have no sexual attraction to girls, but I don't see myself falling in love with a guy, as long as I'm a guy myself. UGH.


----------



## mr hoang

Yer Blues said:


> Well, it is a rare event getting caught. Too much fun not to go.
> 
> Yep, the rafting seems to attract a lot of Europeans to work in Banff & Jasper. Anywhere you go in those two places you tend to run into more foreigners than Canadians.


Yup. The good ol Canadian rockies are nice.
I've considered moving to Calgary just be a little closer lol.


----------



## TheWelshOne

Defective, ungrateful, insignificant


----------



## Wren611

A little meh... a lot hungry.


----------



## Jay689

I'm feeling kinda meh. I hate this heat with a very strong passion.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Alright. I just woke up and it's nice & early. Cold though.. It's raining right now.


----------



## slyfox

Tired and not like doing anything


----------



## SilentLyric

hungry and disappointed and on edge


----------



## Crisigv

miserable and lonely


----------



## JustThisGuy

My neck/spine hurts. Emotionally: I'm ok, I guess.


----------



## Charmeleon

Pretty good, I'm actually feeling quite energetic right now.


----------



## rosecolored

Tired of the same routine.


----------



## cocooned

Exhausted and sweaty.


----------



## cosmicslop

bored, tired. I could take a nap, but then I'd wake up at 8 and have a hard time falling asleep at bedtime.


----------



## Nunuc

tired and grumpy.


----------



## Crisigv

Like complete garbage


----------



## mr hoang

Tired and sick of working late. I need time to myself.


----------



## Citrine

...A bit unresponsive at the moment :/


----------



## MiMiK

lost


----------



## slyfox

Fat and disgusting


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Fairly apathetic honestly.


----------



## cocooned

Queasy af other than that pretty awesome


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaah.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Really frustrated and annoyed.


----------



## CQcumber

Terribly anxious.


----------



## cocooned

Bloated


----------



## laysiaj

Super fantastic now!!!


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I actually feel REALLY GOOD right now. I wonder how long it will last?


----------



## moloko

Sad Keanu.


----------



## cocooned

Hyper, im feeling on top of the world.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## TryingMara

Not great, have that hopeless feeling. Wishing I was a completely different person, and the world was different too.


----------



## loneranger

I feel great that I finally accomplished something this evening.


----------



## diamondheart89

Exhausted from my workout. I really thought I was gonna pass out for a bit during, but now it's just exhaustion in a good way.


----------



## adiyon84

Feels great even though I'm hungry because of fasting today (It's holy month of Ramadhan). Apart from that, okay though. Just chill in the house


----------



## redstar312

Like I'm dying.


----------



## vanishingpt

A hell lot better than last night. Actually learned to pitch those negative feelings into something more productive and positive. Sometimes having regrets will push you the complete opposite direction and it's exactly what you need.

So I took a chance and if it doesn't work out, oh well. Blunders happen all the time even to the best of us, so I figured what do I have to lose? I might feel a bit embarrassed again in the end but I'd take that over the regret I felt.


----------



## Norton

good gracious that is an awful way to live. At least someone should be by yours side to support you or at least defend you when something harmful is happening to you.



shelbster18 said:


> Not feeling good today. I'm so scared of my dad that I had to pee in a ****ing bottle in my room and my mom is stalking me with texts wondering where my sister is at. And my two oldest sisters are idiots for not doing a damn thing to help me out. I'm sure they know I'm getting abused. They just don't care and I doubt my other sis won't bring her dogs over to the house to hang out over here. **** her for leaving me with my dad.


----------



## Norton

Are you still feeling this way or has those thoughts passed.



RadnessaurousRex said:


> Suicidal thoughts


----------



## ShatteredGlass

RadnessaurousRex said:


> Suicidal thoughts


I hope you're okay.


----------



## Norton

I know the feeling about at least having one friend



CravingBass said:


> Yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaah.


----------



## slyfox

Motivated to want to achieve a lot


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Meh. Can't really complain, I guess. Thoughts of happiness are pretty much being cancelled out by negative feelings, like the fact that the second semester is looming.


----------



## shelbster18

I'm feeling alright for now even though I'm staying at home temporarily. I should know better than to think I could just get my dad's retirement money he has saved up for me and my sisters. That's considered stealing so I can't do that. He even took my iPod away from me but I'm not going to let things get in the way. So far they haven't and I want it to stay that way. If I do get angry, it will only feed my parents' egos.


----------



## Norton

Yikes they really have you cornered in a way. I am surprised your sisters are not sticking up for you or something.
At least are your parents taking care of you as in providing you food or something?



shelbster18 said:


> I'm feeling alright for now even though I'm staying at home temporarily. I should know better than to think I could just get my dad's retirement money he has saved up for me and my sisters. That's considered stealing so I can't do that. He even took my iPod away from me but I'm not going to let things get in the way. So far they haven't and I want it to stay that way. If I do get angry, it will only feed my parents' egos.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lonely. A gal to cuddle with and whisper to me"everything will be ok" would nice


----------



## alienbird

I feel okay right now, because I am drinking yummy tea and watching Farscape. :3

Someday I'll be a ball of positivity... :lol


----------



## slyfox

Bored


----------



## shelbster18

I'm feeling like a kid. I'm so scared of the dark and need my blankie. That's how I get treated. Or more like someone who did something so horrible and has to be on house arrest. Next thing I know, my parents are going to barricade the house. I'm twenty one, not ten.


----------



## Malek

Utterly bored on my day off, hell I even would prefer to work, that's how bored I am.


----------



## cocooned

pathetic


----------



## PandaBearx

Tipsy


----------



## Marakunda

PandaBearx said:


> Tipsy


What are ya drinking?


----------



## PandaBearx

Marakunda said:


> What are ya drinking?


Was drinking margaritas, than I went to 711 to get a watermelon slushy which was yummy as well. (Why not mention the slushy )


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Really depressed. I hate myself.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

...I can't even really articulate my feelings into words. I can't explain events in a coherent fashion. :sigh


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mildly malnourished & a bit frail as such


----------



## Unknown0001

Sleepyish


----------



## tea111red

I feel unfulfilled and repulsed.


----------



## Andras96

Hopeless.


----------



## cocooned

Bored and fidgety


----------



## Peonie

Tired but I drank coffee so can't sleep!


----------



## mr hoang

Feeling alone. Sad.....but I know I need to focus on important things.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Hungry, but I can't eat in public places.  another reason my life sucks, I guess.


----------



## Charmeleon

Like crap, wish I could sleep and never wake up again.


----------



## laysiaj

CravingBass said:


> Hungry, but I can't eat in public places.  another reason my life sucks, I guess.


Aw, I used to be the same exact way at your age. It slowly just kind of went away. I'm much better at eating in public now. As long as it's not some ribs or an enormous burger. 



RadnessaurousRex said:


> Like crap, wish I could sleep and never wake up again.


Not an option, my friend. We would all miss you way too much.


----------



## coeur_brise

Troubled.. to say the least.


----------



## pocketbird

I should shower but I'm lazy.


----------



## EternalTime

Loved.


----------



## redstar312

Sad that Gwynevere has been banned.


----------



## ByStorm

[Negative adjective]
And horny......jk.:boogie


----------



## Loveless

Beyond terrible. Thankfully I have not done anything stupid over the past couple months while things have been bad. And I also have studied and tried to enlighten myself. That's what keeps me going is wanting to gain more knowledge.


----------



## vanilla90

http://rock.genius.com/2169887/Arctic-monkeys-knee-socks/When-the-zeros-line-up-on-the-24-hour-clockWhen the zeros line up on the 24 hour clock
When you know who's calling even though the number is blocked
When you walked around your house wearing my sky blue Lacoste
And your knee socks


----------



## LonerStoner2014

Fed up with life,that's how i feel. Its 1 AM & im laid here thinking about my life and how this anxiety is destroying it. Everyday is the same, i just wish life would hurry up and end.


----------



## persona non grata

Much better, I think I'm done vomiting for the day.


----------



## Marko3

kibun wa dou desu ka?


----------



## SilentLyric

under pressure to get a few things done.


----------



## TheWelshOne

Like a weird idiot...


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Bored. Today I saw a poster at school that said "Only boring people are bored".

Damn, considering the fact that I'm bored or a lot of my free time, I must be a pretty boring person.


----------



## Charmeleon

Like complete and utter garbage. I just want to chug some antifreeze and call it a day.


----------



## mr hoang

Feeling sleepy after work. But its the weekend, I should be doing something.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I feel good enough, I guess. I should probably go and have a shower and become fresh once again.


----------



## shelbster18

I want to take my Adderall to relieve stress from ****ty people but then I won't be able to go to sleep.  Still have to get my Xanax prescription since I ran out and I'm trying to save my Adderall.


----------



## shelbster18

Starting to think my sister's boyfriend either broke up with her or is cheating on her. All I get when I ask him what she's up to is nothing. :\ I can't keep in contact with her unless it's through him since someone hacked her FB account. Some kind of friend he is. *sigh* I just see a bunch of weird posts by this girl that added me that was or still is in a relationship with him.


----------



## butterfly333

Lazy, hungry, and frustrated. My body and mind are out of sync. My mind is really pushy and a perfectionist but my body doesn't give a **** and is content sitting and doing absolutely nothing all day. -_-


----------



## SvanThorXx

I feel paranoid and jumpy. My meds are wearing off.


----------



## Thedood

Sleepy, but aside from that, not too bad at all.


----------



## SvanThorXx

I just feel very unstable.


----------



## megsy00

Great! Now that I've been able to chat with someone I've been thinking about!!!!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Allergized


----------



## coeur_brise

Like I just buried a ton of emotion and trying to get it back. passion, fury. intense. also strangely calm.


----------



## silentstruggle

I feel ****ing terrible. Migraine, nausea, scared


----------



## mezzoforte

Sad


----------



## JustThisGuy

Sadly feeling negative and confused about life.


----------



## laysiaj

I'm feeling selfish, in pain, and morose.


----------



## Thedood

mezzoforte said:


> Sad





JustThisGuy said:


> Sadly feeling negative and confused about life.





laysiaj said:


> I'm feeling selfish, in pain, and morose.


So much sad. 

Hugs for all of you:


----------



## Charmeleon

sad, sleepy, the usual.


----------



## laysiaj

Thedood said:


> So much sad.
> 
> Hugs for all of you:
> 
> Lovely, thanks for the hug!





RadnessaurousRex said:


> sad, sleepy, the usual.


Cheer up, sugar. Things will get better, I promise.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

A mixture of depressed, afraid, and frustrated, and somehow apathetic. I'm feeling nothing emotionally, but I'm feeling everything.

Also, stomach ache and hunger.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hot & overtired


----------



## ShatteredGlass

A little bit anxious, for no reason really. Ugh. Today has seriously been the worst day. -_-


----------



## masterridley

Rocket hug for everyone! Let's be sad together!


----------



## mezzoforte

Smart


----------



## persona non grata

Guilty and afraid.


----------



## vanilla90

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah


----------



## Charmeleon

I feel ridiculously happy and energetic for some odd reason


----------



## Twinkiesex

Unappreciated

Taken for granted 

**** everything


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry, cold, tired


----------



## vanilla90

I feel like going clubbing again, two nights in a row. Nothing better than mindless hedonism to forget about things


----------



## teenage wildlife

Tired, and a little bit sad


----------



## laysiaj

Eh, **** it.
I'm done.


----------



## cj66

Really down, and confused by my reaction to people and things (that merely confirm other things) that I've allowed to upset me. 

Feeling inferior and hopeless, basically. Not/never good enough.


----------



## laysiaj

Yeah, pretty dejected. 
Keep chasing the wrong things. 
I'm going to stop all that now. 

Want me? Come and get me.
Otherwise, leave me the **** alone thanks.

I'm out.


----------



## Pompeii

Sleepy, tired, fatigued and drowsy with a side serve of exhausted.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Completely average. Not good, or bad. Well, kinda good, I suppose.


----------



## Thedood

Full. Kinda buzzed. Kinda sad.


----------



## Charmeleon

Thedood said:


> Full. Kinda buzzed. Kinda sad.


Hey, I talked in spanish in that one voice thread. Your up premo. Surely your spanish can't be as terrible as mine xD

On topic, I started out happy, now I'm sad cuz everyones leaving ;(


----------



## Thedood

RadnessaurousRex said:


> Hey, I talked in spanish in that one voice thread. Your up premo. Surely your spanish can't be as terrible as mine xD
> 
> On topic, I started out happy now I'm sad cuz everyone leaving ;(


Oh ****, you actually did it? Haha. I'll check it out.

And I'll own up to my end of the bargain. I'll do one in español too. (My spanish blows)


----------



## loophole

I have bipolar disorder. My ****s not in order


----------



## labelme

Little sad. The best times are usually the shortest for me.


----------



## vanilla90

More than just a little misunderstood


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Quite anxious


----------



## Crisigv

I feel defeated.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Out of place


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Nervous about changing jobs.


----------



## cj66

sad


----------



## Thedood

Gassy. :blank


----------



## thomasjune

Tired and angry


----------



## ThunderChild

Lonely like every other day


----------



## katty1988

Sad. Feeling worthless and unwanted. Angry that the person who's making me feel this way, is my best friend


----------



## Fangirlgirl

Anxious and terrified.


----------



## bluegc8

I feel like everyone hates me. Even my parents and my brother.


----------



## redstar312

Fat and ugly.


----------



## Andras96

Like crap.


----------



## drganon

Meh.


----------



## laagamer

She didn't call me today...again.

So crap.


----------



## catfreak1991

Pretty s****y... all the people that I thought were my friends turned on me.


----------



## TabbyTab

I want Ice-cream


----------



## vanilla90

In of of those annoyed moods the day after you've had a joint


----------



## cj66

Rather foolish. I'm not funny.

Low self-confidence is really debilitating.


----------



## Fat Man

Impatient, wish Paypal would release my funds sooner than three days.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit hot, a bit tired. I've been up all night so it's about time to crash


----------



## SvanThorXx

Still sore but getting better.


----------



## probably offline

Overwhelmed with guilt.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted, stressed, minor headache, in need of sleep


----------



## redstar312

Sad.


----------



## Nekomata

Extremely tired and exhausted.


----------



## blue2

like people aren't contradicting me enough...:cry


----------



## moloko

In a Lonely Place said:


> Relieved I've not posted pictures on this forum after seeing pics of sas'ers on that other forum yesterday, show's how easily it happens. :/


Yeah, sometimes it's easy to forget that the internet is full of *******s. That's not the first time it happens.


----------



## SvanThorXx

I feel great.


----------



## Justlittleme

i feel like putting trust in "that" was the most foolish part of my life.

i feel like a broken record.

i feel i know i am among the most lonely people in this world.

i feel like i am killing myself.

i feel like God has a plan, but i don't think it was suffering, i just am suffering.

i feel like no one else like me, if you exist please just tell me... no you don't huh?

I feel "strange" today, also upset my job is done, but hey I was done, and God knew it too.

i feel like someone like me or some other could've survived if we stayed positive........... but how? how if you're always mocked...

i feel like i have only 4 people in my life, and in the future it'll be 6. [2 being my future kids]

i wish i could've been the one friend for you.......... i really did. i am lucky to have a letter... but i don't want to face it, my heart has stopped for a couple years now.


----------



## titan22846

Awe. Thanks man. I appreciate the virtue love. Meh. I'm okay I guess. I feel fat and ugly but I feel fat and ugly everyday. I guess I would say I'm feeling 'bout average.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


----------



## mr hoang

Conflicted and a bit impatient.


----------



## persona non grata

flat


----------



## diamondheart89

I need someone to kick my butt back into working out. An entire month of being lazy as hell.


----------



## vanilla90

Superman on an aeroplane
Sitting next to Lois Lane
You got that woman but you want her gone
So you can sleep with a teenage blonde


----------



## N7SpaceMagic

Depressed and lonely, as usual.


----------



## cj66

At peace with letting go.


----------



## Still Waters

In a Lonely Place said:


> Relieved I've not posted pictures on this forum after seeing pics of sas'ers on that other forum yesterday, show's how easily it happens. :/


Are you talking about that Bodybuilding forum -the Misc.?? I stumbled upon a thread there the other day talking about this forum and spamming the thread multiple times with a member's picture from this site.


----------



## Boomaloom

Pissed off about another wasted weekend. I know I will look back at this time when Im old and feeble and hate myself for failing to actually live while I was young.


----------



## Nicole G

I am just okay I guess. A little on the down side but I am used to feeling that way by now.


----------



## Still Waters

In a Lonely Place said:


> That's the one, some idiots from this site are members there so thought it would be a laugh to rip the **** out of us, a few of their bum chums joined here to troll on the same day.


Yes,people talk about it being good exposure to post your picture around here,they're pretty naive if they think that's all that will come of it. The girl's picture they kept posting and commenting on -I felt very bad for her -it was certainly NOT sweet compliments they were dishing out!:no


----------



## cj66

impatient-monkey


----------



## alenclaud

Uncertain, and so tired in every sense that I can't sleep well, nor work/study properly.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

In one of those tired states in which everything is annoying


----------



## tea111red

zzzzzZzZzZzzzzz


----------



## tonyhd71

Miserable lonely and depressed.. I've definitely hit rock bottom in my life.

I'll just end there, I don't want to vent right now maybe some other time.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy after exercising & hot, it's been a really warm day today & still is even at 9:30pm


----------



## Charmeleon

Depressed & tired, the usual.


----------



## redstar312

Still Waters said:


> Are you talking about that Bodybuilding forum -the Misc.?? I stumbled upon a thread there the other day talking about this forum and spamming the thread multiple times with a member's picture from this site.


I got quite a few laughs out of reading that thread on their site.


----------



## roats44862

At the moment, neutral. I'm at work and while i'm at work the worries of real life seem to fade away. But when I get home in 3 hours i'll be back to feeling numb, depressed and alone again.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like a sweaty, allergy leaking freak


----------



## vanilla90

Looking forward to seeing The Courteeners tomorrow


----------



## zonebox

Slightly hungover.. but otherwise pretty good. I'll feel a lot better after I mow the lawn, and sweat most of the gunk out of my system.


----------



## laysiaj

I'm feeling lonely. 
Trying to snap out of it.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


----------



## icantevencreateanusername

Feeling blank. My personality is off somewhere...


----------



## redstar312

Craving fish sticks.


----------



## PandaBearx

Sad-ish & guilty. I should probably clean...


----------



## Cuban FL Cracker

Nervous. I'm going back to work today, but at a different grocery store. So... I'm going to be meeting new people.

Blah, I hate feeling nervous like this.


----------



## zonebox

redstar312 said:


> Craving fish sticks.


Fish sticks sound good.


----------



## eveningbat

My neck is stiff and hurting.


----------



## Fangirlgirl

I hate my life


----------



## icantevencreateanusername

Now I am nervous. Back to school today. Lots of tests and annoying people.


----------



## Minkiro




----------



## Marko3

Just got back from cycling, made 100 pushups.... took shower, so pleasantly tired.. I feel so epikk, happy.. smiling, still hi on endorphins (I love Dolphins as Meg would say).. while on my bike, I saw 9 deers (unbelievable but i saw them in such order 3, 2, 2, 1, 1 ), 4 donkeys (the baby one was soo cutee), lots of sheeps grazing, cows.. I saw lots of cats.. and i saw 1 very cute blonde girl, though she looked sad =(.. and I saw 2 very very beautiful roller blading girls ( tall, elegant.. brown pony tail, twins I think, and as I said hello to them, driving by.. they gave me amazing smile back)...

What can I say... despite the love lyrics, this musikk is just awesome.. the beats, the female vocals.. :mushy ..it always pumps me up with optimism, hope and happy energy..:yes







> I've wanted to hear your voice,
> the voice I'm sure I've fallen in love with.
> Embraced in these foolish words, I love you.
> 
> Embrace me closely and don't leave me...
> I will cry if you do... stay with me.
> 
> I want to see you... I really do,
> just like that day... My first love,
> this pain and love that you've given me,
> even now, I want to see you forever.
> Oh... If I started crying alone, will you come back to me?
> La la la...
> We passed by each other,
> separated, love missing you.
> 
> In a dark room I sat, hugging my knees together
> while pretending nothing is wrong.
> I don't know my true feelings, but I want to say "I love you."
> 
> How we laughed with each other and kissed...
> hold my hand forevermore.
> How much I loved you, and how much you loved me,
> that love binds us. Believe your love,
> in happiness and in sadness, you and I,
> no matter when, I want to see you forever.
> Oh... We can't see each other anymore.
> Somewhere, we understand... breaking love yeah. La la la...
> Even now, deep inside my heart... as time goes by
> If we can just understand each other more,
> will we be laughing together now?
> That's all I've been thinking about, I love you forever...
> 
> I want to see you... I really do, since that day...
> My first love, this pain and love that you've given me,
> even now, I want to see you forever.
> OH... If I started crying alone, will you come back to me?
> La la la...
> We passed by each other,
> separated, love missing you.
> 
> Oh... We can't see each other anymore.
> Somewhere, we understand... breaking love yeah.
> La la la...
> Inside my dreams, I finally said, I love you.


----------



## cryptoboy

I feel lonely because my dear wife is out of the country. She is currently in the United States and worked in the printing of our magazine. One month and I arrive in the USA, but until then, I will do business with a glass of cold whiskey.

Lol. sorry for bad english friends


----------



## stuckinarut

Marko3 said:


> Just got back from cycling, made 100 pushups.... took shower, so pleasantly tired.. I feel so epikk, happy.. smiling, still hi on endorphins (I love Dolphins as Meg would say)


Save them dolphins  y r u so cuteeee, dem feels :kiss


----------



## Fat Man

Like a butt


----------



## Marko3

stuckinarut said:


> Save them dolphins  y r u so cuteeee, dem feels :kiss


Hug and kiss u back :squeeze:kiss


----------



## zoslow

I'm feeling like I wanna cuddle with some nice lady. That's really all I want right now, my libido is on vacation.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Bored as f**k. I'm not used to waking up late and doing nothing all day.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Cranky & lost in life


----------



## juvy

Happy


----------



## Nicole G

Cuban FL Cracker said:


> Nervous. I'm going back to work today, but at a different grocery store. So... I'm going to be meeting new people.
> 
> Blah, I hate feeling nervous like this.


 How did it go?


----------



## Pompeii

Very, very tired. Would like to go back to sleep and would like a Caesar salad also.


----------



## zonebox

I had a fever last night, was very short of breath, even today. It felt like most of my strength was sapped away. Worst yet, I had to lift furniture into and out of a truck at work today, thankfully it was a relatively easy day.. But, while at work today, I had to lift a very heavy sleeper sofa, and tripped over a stairwell and it landed on me :lol 

I was not hurt, thankfully. I'm still feeling a bit under the weather though, but I have tomorrow off so hopefully I'll feel better by Wednesday.


----------



## icantevencreateanusername

zonebox said:


> I had a fever last night, was very short of breath, even today. It felt like most of my strength was sapped away. Worst yet, I had to lift furniture into and out of a truck at work today, thankfully it was a relatively easy day.. But, while at work today, I had to lift a very heavy sleeper sofa, and tripped over a stairwell and it landed on me :lol
> 
> I was not hurt, thankfully. I'm still feeling a bit under the weather though, but I have tomorrow off so hopefully I'll feel better by Wednesday.


I hope you feel better, friend.


----------



## zonebox

icantevencreateanusername said:


> I hope you feel better, friend.


Thanks


----------



## TryingMara

Angry.


----------



## McFly

okay, thanks.


----------



## Fat Man

Like low life garbage, there's no hope for me...


----------



## Cuban FL Cracker

Absolutely petrified. I finally admitted to my best friend that I'm in love with her and she messaged me back. I saw the red message box on Facebook and I haven't opened it. Good gracious, my palms are sweating like crazy.


----------



## redstar312

Feeling like I am a terrible person.


----------



## purechaos

redstar312 said:


> Feeling like I am a terrible person.


Me too, we should hang out.


----------



## Fat Man

Cuban FL Cracker said:


> Absolutely petrified. I finally admitted to my best friend that I'm in love with her and she messaged me back. I saw the red message box on Facebook and I haven't opened it. Good gracious, my palms are sweating like crazy.


I wish you luck


----------



## vanishingpt

Feeling really good right now. Got back from a night out with friends and I'm happy with the way things turned out. The last time we all hung out was kind of tense but I think it was just all the stress from work and not seeing each other for a while. But today felt like all the other times before and I'm happy.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

****ty. I still feel horrendous after my mental breakdown.


----------



## Yer Blues

Like an arsehole.


----------



## McFly

I had a bowl of oatmeal for dinner so I'm feeling full.


----------



## Pompeii

50% tired, 50% caffeine.


----------



## icantevencreateanusername

Cuban FL Cracker said:


> Absolutely petrified. I finally admitted to my best friend that I'm in love with her and she messaged me back. I saw the red message box on Facebook and I haven't opened it. Good gracious, my palms are sweating like crazy.


So, have you opened it? Good luck.


----------



## cooperativeCreature

Venomous


----------



## laysiaj

Yer Blues said:


> Like an arsehole.


Well, you're definitely not so....there's that.


----------



## JustThisGuy

Perturbed. < I just wanted to use a word that's different from anxious this time.


----------



## persona non grata

Scattered


----------



## icantevencreateanusername

Left out and sick. Missed school today.


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable and still sick


----------



## icantevencreateanusername

Crisigv said:


> Miserable and still sick


Sick buddies. Wooo.


----------



## PandaBearx

Weary


----------



## Cuban FL Cracker

Nanorell8 said:


> I wish you luck





icantevencreateanusername said:


> So, have you opened it? Good luck.


Thank you both. I have not yet opened it. I'm too coward to do so. I've been trying to avoid going on Facebook but everytime I see the red message box, my stomach drops. Blah...


----------



## inane

cooperativeCreature said:


> Venomous


Aw how come?
-

And I'm feeling harried and conflicted.


----------



## Pompeii

Tired of being tired.


----------



## Charmeleon

Defeated, tired of fighting this


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed, confused, lazy, hot


----------



## Cuban FL Cracker

Ugh, I hate talking on the phone. I always feels so silly and awkward. I might be moving AGAIN and I had to call the Publix in the town that I'm relocating to, to ask about job openings for a transfer. I have to introduce myself and say all the other crap and I feel like I'm just rambling on.


----------



## vanishingpt

Pretty lethargic, it's been one of those days.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored & restless with the slightest underlying headache


----------



## username22

this is how i feel, no need to describe anything


----------



## Nunuc

Angry!


----------



## SunshineSam218

Tired & Lazy


----------



## tea111red

Sick in the head....literally.


----------



## Shockwave The Logical

Better than everyone else on here.


----------



## pocketbird

Alright. My isolation is hitting me this month, I don't feel like talking anymore.


----------



## Ckg2011

Like a useless piece of dog ****. I suck at everything.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, restless, annoyed


----------



## slyfox

Having a lot of hip pain  Otherwise neutral mostly. Wanting to go get pizza


----------



## Charmeleon

Pooped, kinda hungry and I got a headache. Other than that I'm awesome!!


----------



## musiclover55

SICK. 

It seems like whenever I have a day off from school (like a holiday), I end up sick the whole time and my big toe hurts...


----------



## Nitrogen

Sleepy, lethargic.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Reflective


----------



## icantevencreateanusername

Guilty, terrible, I think I hurt one of my only friends and I REALLY DIDN'T mean to. Oh my god I am so sorry, please forgive me...


----------



## Violet Romantic

I'm feeling rather hopeful!


----------



## markwalters2

Feel like releasing my sexual frustrations on somebody.


----------



## apx24

****.


----------



## Charmeleon

Lonely, tired, not tired, bored...ehhh


----------



## jeanny

Sick.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Moody, lazy, hungry


----------



## icantevencreateanusername

Worried.


----------



## orsomething

so foggy


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Full. I'm well fed at this moment in time


----------



## NiamhB

Bored, hungry and awkward.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted, annoyed, & miserable with allergies going wild


----------



## slyfox

Kind of down. Probably going to relax a little and get to bed


----------



## Berzerker

Just woke up at 10 PM ready for yet another day of boredom, hate and disinterest in my roughneck oil town.


----------



## soulsurviver

alone and abandoned


----------



## Charmeleon

I don't even know anymore


----------



## teenage wildlife

Extremely bored.


----------



## teenage wildlife

In a Lonely Place said:


> Love your name, guessing it's Bowie?


You guessed correctly.


----------



## mr hoang

Excited for my ps4 to arrive. And NHL 15


----------



## purechaos

Tired, stressed, a little pissed off, depressed


----------



## Alas Babylon

I sent some messages I shouldn't have and made a fool of myself. 

I've been feeling down for the last couple weeks and I guess I just needed to be a bit of an idiot one night to realise I need to make a change. 

So I'm feeling like it's about time I did things differently, and moved on with my life.


----------



## fear

Super anxious because I have to do things today that I don't want to. Meet with my little ones teacher, and other appointment. Don't want to look stupid when the words stick in my throat


----------



## The Loudest Mind

I just woke up like an hour ago, it's 7am here >.< I'm feeling happy and tranquil. It's a beautiful summer/fall day here


----------



## Bbpuff

I guess, tired would be the best way to describe it. I wish time would fast forward already, but I'm afraid of tomorrow. I can't wait until the winter. It's so hot outside... I just want to wear big coats, and sweaters. I hate short sleeves, I get anxiety when I show my arms and legs. I'm only comfortable when I'm completely covered. Winter please hurry, living in this desert sucks...


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Heavily depressed with recurring physical anxiety attacks


----------



## McFly

Pretty good. I haven't felt depressed for the past month now that I've learned that life is a great gift. I'm looking forward to everyday and reading what others have to say online.


----------



## slyfox

Bored, depressed, and desiring attention


----------



## purechaos

Weirrrddd


----------



## dontwaitupforme

entertained


----------



## Marko3

very tired... and why is skype dedd currently?


----------



## zonebox

Okay, a bit tired but otherwise okay. Lifted about three tons of furniture today, in a matter of an hour then unloaded the truck later on, so better than could be expected. I just feel really tired, and yes, a bit proud of myself so ;p

I would love to get some sleep, but I am at that point right now where I'm just tired enough to be useless, but not tired enough to just all out take a nap.


----------



## slyfox

Tired and foggy headed. Sucks I have stuff I still need to do.


----------



## purechaos

Weird..!


----------



## Fat Man

Sad because I'm in pain.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like crying. Is it regret? Loneliness? I don't know.


----------



## Charmeleon

Like an abused, beaten, dying stray dog


----------



## MeowItsJen

Lonely and insecure I feel like ill never find someone who likes me for me in a romantic al sense


----------



## persona non grata

Disconnected


----------



## haggybear

Drunk and not wanting to go back to work.


----------



## slyfox

Cold and tired


----------



## rdrr

not too good.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

aspiring


----------



## BackToThePast

Not very motivated to be doing work right now.


----------



## Scarlet Tanager

Annoyed, angry, and tired.


----------



## musiclover55

Anxious. I have a quiz tomorrow in Calc and I just got a 43 on the exam :/


----------



## Fruitcake

Like a quetzal who's lost its wings. But has learned to use its tail to make awkward jumps from trees and then sail to its destination somewhat haphazardly. But has realised it doesn't have anywhere to sail to. But has a very pretty tail in spite of that.


----------



## mr hoang

Stressed, helping my mom deal with her bowl prep. A week before her colonoscopy.


----------



## Violet Romantic

A bit nauseous. :sus


----------



## Canadian Brotha

As grey as the sky outside right now


----------



## eveningbat

Ill, sad and dumped.


----------



## Violet Romantic

Somewhat tired from lack of sleep, a bit sore from when I actually attempted to work out lol), and concerned about someone, but also glad that my Statistics quiz is over and that I'm pretty sure I got every question right. :yay


----------



## slyfox

Sick  coughing and sore throat with some fluid in my lungs


----------



## blue2

W A N D E R L U S T said:


> Scared! There is something tapping on my window that stops every 30 seconds then starts again. It sounds like a bug because I think I can hear it's wings beating up against the window but that is one damned big bug if it is.
> 
> I hate night time.


Night time...its daytime here, so many different timezones...did you ever think it might be a bat ..?


----------



## slyfox

W A N D E R L U S T said:


> Scared! There is something tapping on my window that stops every 30 seconds then starts again. It sounds like a bug because I think I can hear it's wings beating up against the window but that is one damned big bug if it is.
> 
> I hate night time.


At least it is on the outside  I've been annoyed lately by acorns and branches falling on my house and car. Never was bothered by them in other years. Maybe they sound louder on the new roof. Can be creepy at night.


----------



## slyfox

W A N D E R L U S T said:


> At least it's gone now. But just because it was on the outside doesn't mean it wouldn't have gotten in! :mum Have you not seen those movies where people become trapped in their own homes! Ah, but I'm just very irrational with these things. You got a new roof? That's pretty cool! Yeah, I see how that'd be creepy though. Do you ever have birds or some other animal walk across the roof?
> 
> Hope you get well soon too!


Ok :b Glad nothing tried harder to get into your house. I find it creepy when I hear noises outside at night too. Not night time for me, but sounded like something was moving up on the roof just now :sus

Yeah just recently got all new shingles. The old roof had a lot of moss growing on it and there were brown water spots forming in places on the ceiling  There are squirrels up there during the day that make a lot of noise. Drives my cat crazy.

Thank you


----------



## woafy

honestly I want to die
kil me


----------



## SofaKing

I almost hate to offer up something good among the down posters here, but the thread asked...

I can't say how long it'll last, but as far as living in the present goes, I'm the most content I've ever been in my life.

As far as everyone else that is having a hard time, take it from me...there are rays of sunshine if you're willing to get out there to soak them in. Stick around.


----------



## slyfox

W A N D E R L U S T said:


> It was a bug! I opened my curtains and it was just hanging there like it owned the place! I don't even know what type but it was massive and seriously ugly and like the size of an old Nokia phone. It had more hairs than me too, I swear! You'd better be careful. It could be waiting till night to strike, it's what they all do.
> 
> Brown water spots? Wow, that sounds healthy. :lol Is your cat secretly playing hard to get?


Ok I'll watch for killer bugs :b

I think they are just stains from water leaks. Hopefully there isn't a bunch of mold I can't see though  I think he wants to join the squirrels and feels left out :lol


----------



## BackToThePast

Indifferentastic.


----------



## pocketbird

I can't keep my eyes open anymore. A week, I've been feeling this way.


----------



## moloko

Like throwing the phone at the ****ing wall. That's how.


----------



## slyfox

Sick, in pain, and craving pizza


----------



## euphoria04

i feel weird & oddly at peace


----------



## Crisigv

I feel great


----------



## lunarc

Useless. No job. No money. No hope. loool. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.


----------



## vanilla90

Getting lost within myself. Nothing matters, no one else


----------



## loneranger

Accomplished from my SA.


----------



## laysiaj

So so so so so so so tired. My brain hurts.


----------



## BackToThePast

Unmotivatastic.


----------



## JakeStarr

i feel like i could sit down with a nice cup of water in a lawn chair and watch this crappy world burn and destroy itself... not even for amusement... just to sit back and not be a part of it... i'll enjoy my water while they enjoy their fire... that just scratches the surface of how i feel... i am not even happy about being alive or existing... it is all pointless... it doesn't pay to be nice and this world revolves around money and betrayal... i see nothing left in this world that is worth living for....


----------



## JakeStarr

lunarc said:


> Useless. No job. No money. No hope. loool. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.


hey being useless takes talent... trust me... it took me 10 years to perfect it....


----------



## Wacky Wednesdays

I'm feeling okay Ã¢Â˜ÂºÃ¯Â¸Â enjoying this steady mood level over major highs/lows because it's a good middle ground.


----------



## SofaKing

Pompeii said:


> I'm so happy. It's like I'm trapped on the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland and robotic midgets are singing me through my Wednesday.


This, but without the eventual madness that would come.


----------



## SeraphSoul

Guilt.
I have homework to do, but after seeing my sister having fun with her friends, i feel like i want to feel that too.
So i'm here trying to converse & shirking...
but i keep thinking about homework.... & that stresses me... but i feel guilt because i feel a need to do it. but i want free time.... aaaah ;m;


----------



## Nunuc

Drunk as fu...Rick!


----------



## PandaBearx

Extremely sad, though I probably deserve to be.


----------



## Stevie22

I'm feeling frustrated right now. My anxiety has been so up and down lately. I try not to get frustrated but it's hard not to


----------



## bancho1993

Just feel really tired despite not doing much all day.


----------



## Lorcan

Empty, jealous


----------



## daywalkerdave

http://datfeel.com/drupal/sites/default/files/Sad Black and White Rain Feel (Doctor Who).gif


----------



## 4seasons1day

I feel very SAD. I gave no friends.


----------



## slyfox

Tired and lazy


----------



## 4seasons1day

4seasons1day said:


> I feel very SAD. I gave no friends.


Opps! I mean I have no friends. None.


----------



## sqrkbkwmqko

Angry and tired of pretending + hiding what I perceive as my self. And also not-looking-forward-to life coz I know that all that I have is my room to go to. My room is my home.


----------



## markwalters2

Uncomfortable. My boner feels a tad painful.


----------



## purechaos

markwalters2 said:


> Uncomfortable. My boner feels a tad painful.


You should take care of that


----------



## SofaKing

On the elliptical and I'm still connected to someone very special to me. I'd say, I'm feeling awesome!


----------



## Fat Man

Lonely because no one likes me.


----------



## TryingMara

Annoyed.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Pretty normal. Fairly comfortable. In an average mood, with a touch of loneliness. I just want to talk to her, but I'm afraid to text her. Why can't she text me? Does she dislike me? Am I a bother? I don't know.

:/


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Tired, but good.


----------



## Schmosby

^ ditto


----------



## PandaBearx

Worthless.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

I feel ok, or glad just now..... because soon i can go to a heated bed with the warm covers touching my bare skin.... comforting


----------



## Charmeleon

Stressed out!


----------



## musiclover55

Bummed. 

Calc quiz tomorrow. Exam next week. Tons of school work to do. 

I miss summer break.


----------



## Violet Romantic

Guilty. :afr


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like garbage.


----------



## purechaos

Crisigv said:


> I feel like garbage.


Up cycle!


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I have a strange, nauseating feeling of emptiness. I feel super sad and depressed. Maybe it's because of how lonely and isolated I've been for the last 2 weeks.


----------



## SouthernTom

Phantasmagorical said:


> Guilty. :afr


Ah, so it was you who let down my tyres! :mum

But in all seriousness, is everything OK?


----------



## Violet Romantic

SouthernTom said:


> Ah, so it was you who let down my tyres! :mum
> 
> But in all seriousness, is everything OK?


Your tyres? I can neither confirm nor deny. :lol

I feel guilty about giving someone the "cold shoulder" because I was hurt by something they said, even though they didn't really say anything wrong. I was being overly sensitive. I've left an apology message, so hopefully they will forgive me 

Thanks for asking! :squeeze


----------



## TTSP

I feel wired, anxious and my hearts racing as I've just finished my first day back at uni for my final year!


----------



## Lucyintheskyy

Sick with a Cold but not too anxious today which is an upside


----------



## Quirky

Slightly sick, somewhat depressed, and including a strange sense of emptiness.


----------



## sprawl

I feel like I have nothing to offer,have no interesting thoughts, don't know how to help people, blah. I just want to be something, but I feel like I'm nothing.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Disgraceful, lazy, hungry, lonely


----------



## Nunuc

Sick and tired of being sick and tired. Got a flu or something.


----------



## Mauzik

I think I'm feeling a little better after the things that happened yesterday.


----------



## irandom97

disconnected, ugly, and sad.


----------



## AllieG

Sick. Irritable. Hurt. Not a good combination...


----------



## Cerberus

Pretty damn good


I'm about to go to the gym and I'm in the perfect mood for it


----------



## Dre12

In a Lonely Place said:


> Worried, anxious and selfish for thinking about my discomfort tomorrow when it's my nan's funeral.
> ****


Same here for my brothers wedding. I am dreading the 'happiest day of his life'!

Got three events to attend in one weekend!


----------



## crimeclub

Persephone The Dread said:


> .


What an injustice, I wish the way someone is would dictate the way they feel, this post of yours belongs to someone else. Hope something will eventually brighten your day. :squeeze


----------



## Persephone The Dread

crimeclub said:


> What an injustice, I wish the way someone is would dictate the way they feel, this post of yours belongs to someone else. Hope something will eventually brighten your day. :squeeze


Thank you :squeeze I don't like making posts like this but I find myself making more of them and really I need to stay away from this site when I'm not in a good mood because it usually ends up bringing me down more and feeding into it when I am. I just need something else to do to distract me. But it's been difficult to find anything that sticks.


----------



## xxGODDESSxx

Terrible... sick today.. uke


----------



## BackToThePast

Hungry.


----------



## Vanderfee

Ugh, feeling ignored.


----------



## Kind Of

Even when I'm getting paid to sit on my *** and write I'm still _laaaazy_.


----------



## pocketbird

I am numb.


----------



## Marko3

tireddd.. but good.. eating..


----------



## MGale90

I feel... terrible. I'm alone on a Friday night. Well, my mom's home but I don't even count her since if she's home she's on the phone and I'm probably on the bottom of the list of people she wants to talk to. I'm drifting apart from my friends. My self esteem is plummeting. I have nothing to do. I'm unemployed at 24 (babysit and petsit often for some cash) and sleep on a cod in the living which I don't even feel up to pulling out so I'm just lying on the couch fully clothed and I'll probably stay like this until tomorrow. I'm contemplating going to the 24/7 store for junk food and alcohol which I usually avoid but I'm starting to care less and less. I used to look forward to the next day (to work out, to go on walks even on my own) but not anymore. Now I just wish I had someone who understood that I'm not a bar hopping, social butterfly and who has as hard a time putting themselves out there as much as I do so maybe we could support each other when we go out or just stay in and give each other company. I honestly don't know how much longer I can last like this. If it wasn't for my pet bird, I swear I might forget the sound of my own voice. That's how lonely and pathetic my life is.


----------



## Charmeleon

;(


----------



## coeur_brise

Like Gregor, suddenly confounded and yet unaffected that he's turned into a nasty insect rejected by his family. So in essence, like a giant bug.


----------



## Violet Romantic

Apathetic. It's the worst! :yay


----------



## ShatteredGlass

My typical dose of anxious, like always. Also a little bit depressed about school coming up.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

alone, slight tummy discomfort, uncertain and worried about where life is going for me.


----------



## PlayerOffGames

Satisfied


----------



## falling and laughing

Lonely  Wallowing in self pity with The Smiths and Radiohead haha


----------



## PlayerOffGames

restless


----------



## KILOBRAVO

a slight fraction more contented than a few hours ago.


----------



## tea111red

I can't find anything stimulating enough to want to do.


----------



## cosmicslop

I've been stressed. When I'm stressed my gut instinct is to withdraw but I need to go against my nature, which stressed me more. Ooh, I'm going to be very busy soon for the next few months.


----------



## PandaBearx

Kind of down, but I'm going to try to enjoy the day.


----------



## Charmeleon

Bored and tired even though I've done nothing but lay in bed all day :/


----------



## Unknown0001

Fake.. Empty


----------



## KILOBRAVO

slightly more at ease and contented than a few hours ago. reasonably ok.


----------



## BackToThePast

Burdened. The sinking feeling that I might not have started an assignment that's due very soon.


----------



## tikimon

I feel pretty **** to be honest. I stayed home from school again today, and I have too much absence already. It really sucks though, because I can't explain to my parents why it is so hard to get up in the mornings. So I just stay home, and tell them I go to school :stu


----------



## PlayerOffGames

Restless again. Tired. Bored.


----------



## copper

Legs hurt, fatigued, and depressed. The doctor says I have hypothyroidism. Been taking Synthroid since 9/11.


----------



## Nicole G

Mixed. I always go back and forth from feeling okay to feeling content to feeling sad to feeling lonely. It's a continuous circle that goes on 24/7.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

feeling reasonably Ok..... but that is common for me at night time.


----------



## VividImagination

Restless and fidgety.


----------



## catcharay

3 x peanut butter slices and lots of rice crackers after dinner = feeling fat


----------



## SoyUnPerdedor

VividImagination said:


> Restless and fidgety.


^this


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Awake


----------



## PlayerOffGames

gonna stay at home more now.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Good, non apathetic. Pass back so decided to go for coffee and a run today. 

(love the autumn kicking in)


----------



## nameless3903787489796

Feeling low and depressed. 

So many assignments to do but thanks to my depression I haven't started on anything yet!


----------



## Nicole G

KILOBRAVO said:


> feeling reasonably Ok..... but that is common for me at night time.


For me it is the opposite, I tend to feel down at night time.

I am so so right now. Worrying a little about stuff but overall okay.


----------



## Quirky

These cold symptoms are going away and I'm somehow opening up to more people. This feels weird, in a good way.


----------



## TryingMara

Annoyed, frustrated, ignored, underappreciated, unimportant.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

feel reasonable ok I suppose.... because a warm bed awaits.


----------



## probably offline

Worried.


----------



## HenceNoStepsTaken

I feel kinda good. Heh, what a roller coaster.


----------



## cosmicslop

I'm a mess. There's currently not one aspect in my life I feel secure with.


----------



## Charmeleon

I'm pretty much falling apart


----------



## BackToThePast

I can't form sentences. That's how I feel.


----------



## Nicole G

probably offline said:


> Worried.


That's so me all the time, worrying.

I guess I am okay right now.


----------



## Goopus

Disappointed, dismayed. I can't believe money goes so quickly even if it is on necessary things.


----------



## alienbird

Lonely, sad, and unimportant.


----------



## PlayerOffGames

Grand said:


> Lonely, sad, and unimportant.


i feel great...why cant you also feel great?


----------



## alienbird

inna sense said:


> i feel great...why cant you also feel great?


Because I don't have anyone to feel great with, and being alone with my thoughts all of the time doesn't make me feel good.


----------



## kennethken

today i passed a very bad feeling day. My boy friend never care of me, he always tries to make himself busy and sometimes he makes me annoy by using bothering words. I really hate those words he used during quarreling.


----------



## PlayerOffGames

Grand said:


> Because I don't have anyone to feel great with, and being alone with my thoughts all of the time doesn't make me feel good.


 meditate.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

worried, uncertain, a bit anxious.... about where my personal live is going, where some other persons life is going and how that affect both of us....


----------



## KILOBRAVO

AGAIN....somewhat contented. possible because bed awaits and there I am safe , warm and at peace mostly. another day is gone and I live to fight another day.


----------



## Nicole G

Confused and worried


----------



## Persephone The Dread

退屈


----------



## cosmicslop

I was drinking before noon, so you fill in the blanks.


----------



## SunshineSam218

I'm feeling pretty relaxed right now.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

like I know what things I need to do to have any semblance of improvement in my life.... but i feel a bit scared to make those steps..... because it makes me feel anxious to think of it.... but still.... I am sure I can try. I must try.

so... slight anxious, and uncertain. mildly ill at ease


----------



## slyfox

Uncomfortable and annoyed


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry, slightly sore from the push-ups I did earlier, & mildly anxious


----------



## Nicole G

I feel dead. If that's a feeling.


----------



## joked35

Nicole G said:


> I feel dead. If that's a feeling.


It is. And it's just the right feeling to have when you dress up as a zombie on Halloween.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

somewhat relaxed and calmed ..... inexplicable , but I hope it lasts.


----------



## Nicole G

joked35 said:


> It is. And it's just the right feeling to have when you dress up as a zombie on Halloween.


ha, yes that is very true. Thanks, that gave me a small chuckle.


----------



## Tj1989

Bored, Saturday night and nothing to do...


----------



## Sophie7226

I feel lonely.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonaby ok. but again its night time and this is normal . if I felt like this all the time, things could be easier.


----------



## Twinkiesex

alone


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mixed bag. A bit upbeat & a bit lonely


----------



## PlayerOffGames

talkative.


----------



## peachypeach

i work up angry, as i have been doing everyday for like a year now. (it's true i had tiny breaks, but that doesn't make things light for me. nothing is light for me... damn this telepathy! misunderstood robot.)

should i just give in !?!?! nope.

oh my life, is a lonely one.


----------



## eveningbat

Angry and frustrated. Lonely too.


----------



## dontwaitupforme




----------



## redblurr

I feel empty inside


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I'm a little bit disgusted with somebody. It's based on unproven and paranoia based beliefs, but I'm a bit pissed off. I feel a slightly compulsive need to fire an aggressive flurry of insults to them. I don't know why. Whenever I start to feel a connection with somebody, I feel a strange need to tell them that I despise them, and for them to not talk to me again.

I almost want to call her a fake *****, an idiot, a liar, etc. I need to bite my tongue and resist though. The scary thing is that, if I did do that, she probably wouldn't even care. She wouldn't resist. She'd probably just call me an *******, and to stop being so selfish and stuff, but wouldn't try to restore the friendship. That scares me enough to the point of driving me away from performing this "test" of sorts. That's what it is. It'd be a test to see if she'd even bother responding/how she'd respond, etc.

I'm so, so, so frustrated that I can't manage to get friends. My personality just does not mix with others'. I'm like the piece that doesn't fit in the puzzle. The odd one out. My personality is so radically different to everybody else's. I'm physically a teenager, but mentally, I'm like an awkward mix of normal teenager, small child, and wise adult, if that makes sense.

I dislike the fact that I feel like nobody sees the real me. If I make "friends" or acquaintances with somebody, it's based on my "normal" persona, not my mental-problem ridden real self. Nobody shares common interests with me. I don't know anybody irl who has depression like I do either. I'm so depressed that I don't even really have any hobbies. All I want to do all day is ***** about my life to randoms on the internet, browse the web, listen to music, and play a small selection of video games.

I'm too busy wanting to drown myself in my own tears to even bother finding other hobbies. Other things just don't take priority to me. Everything seems to set off my depression. Doing anything that is seen as mainstream to teenagers sets of my depression for some reason. The main reason I have no interest in playing mainstream games like Destiny and GTA V is because I feel disgusted to be associating myself with the games that the teenagers I despise so much are playing.


----------



## BackToThePast

I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is what I think I should be feeling or what I'm really feeling. Ever get that feeling?


----------



## Max Pain

Im feeling like ****,as always.


----------



## AussiePea

Incredibly tired and irritable. I have to endure a 10 hour flight now too. Sigh.


----------



## PlayerOffGames

wonderful!


----------



## slyfox

uncomfortable


----------



## NumeroUno

Like ****. 

Moved 200+ miles to be with a girl 6 years ago - growing distant now and I can't go home (long story, if anything it's a ****hole but yeah). I'm falling out of love with her, beyond just a hiccup and patching it up (imo) and it's unfair as she wants commitment soon that I can't give and I know I'm wasting her time. I guess it's natural - first loves, she wants xxx now, I don't...it's not exactly uncommon. But due to the nature of us living together, me moving, all the ties we have, me having no family/friends here (certainly MY own and not mutual) - I have no choice but stick it out. I made the move, and I've invested so much cash into this physically I can't do anything. Other than being homeless, I guess. 

Here's the kicker. I've met another girl, totally friend-wise at first (always in the back of my head guilty cuz I knew it was like...a trial?). I've spent some time with her. I've been and met some of her family now on 4-5 occasions. I feel like **** because we kissed. I wasn't even thinking with my penis - it was a head/heart/gut decision. I'm not a ''guys guy'', I'm an anxious mess usually so cheating and ''playing the field'' (even meeting her was a big no no for me, but fate just...did it's thing) is a big deal for me. 

This other girl is falling for me HARD, she understands the situation and can't bring herself to say the L word, but she wants me. Like she put it - it's wrong on my part, but she can see my justification due to the nature of the situation. Problem is...the feeling is mutual with her too. Right now, I want nothing more. It's not even ''is the grass greener''? My gut...my heart...I just feel it with her. Little things. Big things. We have them all in common and the more we talk, meet (which I know, is scummy) the worse it gets. I can only justify it by the fact I moved, left MY comfort zone and I physically invested so much financially into our relationship. I know it's wrong - but I don't want to be homeless either. 

Girl A (my gf now). Nurse. Full time working, lovely person - stable. Deserves better anyway. Girl B. Little bit younger & lives with parents. So, even if **** hit the fan, I couldn't move in hers. So basically...dealing with living a lie, biding my time till I can find my own place as I wouldn't kick her out of the apartment despite the fact she has an entire net of family here. Especially as we rent through a family friend of hers anyway.

My friend at home said...''if you lived alone. if this was your hometown. what would you do? who would you ''pick''? (i hate that)''. And it would be her - girl B. The problem is, I don't live in those circumstances...so I don't know what to do. I've gone from accounting > self employed > applying for any job to get myself even a room share in a house. My own space. To make my own choice. 

So, I feel like ****. Strangely, it's not actually eating away at me like people said it would. Perhaps it's a lack of empathy, perhaps it's because I'm basically backed into a corner, perhaps it's because I made the move and I can't confess, leave, whatever without physically being homeless. I don't know.


----------



## Nicole G

waerdd said:


> I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is what I think I should be feeling or what I'm really feeling. Ever get that feeling?


:yes


----------



## Shadow2009

Anxious/depressed/lonely.

Possibly moving into my own flat very soon for the first time and feel sick about it.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonable. relaxed and anxious free. god... hope it continues.


----------



## PlayerOffGames

KILOBRAVO said:


> reasonable. relaxed and anxious free. god... hope it continues.


thats nice.


----------



## 525826

Why did I watch the news again!
Ebola... Enterovirus... My brother is sick... My mom coughs a lot...

I can't even go outside now! I have been stuck here for almost an entire week


----------



## Kind Of

My (occasional) lab partner and I are just the smartest. We spent an hour configuring over the same gear and wondering what was going on.

At least we were doing it right otherwise.

Pls to hire.


----------



## peachypeach

http://images.search.yahoo.com/imag...fr=yhs-ddc-ddc_bd&hsimp=yhs-ddc_bd&hspart=ddc

I had a crush on this guy for a couple years, (Pakistani actor) and I just saw him on television again, lmao... I shouldn't be this blushy about this. But I kinda am... hahaha

><, fiance will be so mad if he saw this, but I'm sure he's still a guy too.

anyways this makes me feel silly...


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I feel anxious, slightly depressed, and a little bit faded. Existence feels strange right now. I'm not drunk/stoned, but I feel a little off. I don't understand why I feel so tired during the day, but not at night. At school, when I'm walking to class, my eyes feel like they have a bit of metal hanging off of them. I can barely keep them open. I don't know if it's just depression or what. It doesn't matter how I sleep, my level of fatigue is always about the same. I have the same amount of energy that I'd have if I'd slept for 4 hours. It doesn't seem to change.

I bet I'd get diagnosed with anxiety and depression pretty easily. My mum doesn't want me on medication and she thinks that antidepressants are useless/harmful. I don't care. I want them. I at least want to try them. These feelings are horrible. I'm just too depressed to even care. I don't enjoy anything, I just kind of do things without feeling much. I rarely get an emotional high. 

______

On other things, I feel like I might be getting a bit better at hiding my emotions. It could be more accurate to say that I'm simply getting used to hiding my general discomfort in social situations. I get put in so many awkward situations that I just have to endure. I have to think on the fly, and think of ways to distract myself/hide my discomfort. I hate having to do this. It is frustrating to consistently be put in uncomfortable situations over and over again. Hopefully, I'll at least gain the ability to numb myself to unpleasant social situations.


----------



## TheWelshOne

Like giving up.


----------



## Nicole G

I am okay but it is the afternoon so that's normal for me


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly OK. emotionally ok, but earlier my tummy felt a bit off... but I think that was something dodgy I'd eaten.... it wasn't anxiety related . dont feel anxious at all right now.


----------



## peachypeach

I feel and know I am the loneliest person on Earth.

"we're talking danger, baby, like stranger in Moscow. I'm living lonely, I'm living lonely baby"

yeah.

[being told I am envious, I guess that's the reason? you can't blame me, I was never loved, and you were, I was given the most difficult card. Does that even make me useful at all? I just wish I was able to, have enough normalacy, but I don't even know if my dreams will come true..................  everyday i feel bad, because God knows its all my fault, he even blessed me, but he didn't answer me yet. Will he?]


----------



## coeur_brise

Up and down. On the one hand, somewhat ignored and pretty sad about being uncared for/not talked to. On the other, trying not to get so down about it. Almost like I lost support or something, idk.


----------



## peachypeach

People always think I'm jk when I'm crying... Oh ____ stop crying haha... that's cute she's crying.


If only you knew the mask I hide behind, is the most insane one in the universe. If you knew, ALL I WANT, IS TO SURVIVE FROM NOW ON. I am most lonely person in the world, without answers, or friends!

just want to move on............ ='[ worst fate ever. If some ****er replies to this sarcastically I will take a gun like Cho, and gun them down. (jk of course, but I actually have that much anger within me, yes) You don't know how I have been living this entire time...

screw it.


----------



## vela

Extremely lonely and hopelessly depressed.


----------



## EmpathicPsychopath

Misanthropic, compassionate, happy, sad...nothing. I don't know.


----------



## Elixer

I'm cautiously optimistic right now, CAUTIOUSLY, but for the most part as lonely as I usually am.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Like smiling


----------



## KILOBRAVO

slightly happy..... becuase soon its supper time and I get to eat again !


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Stressed, confused, restless, musical, creative


----------



## Sprocketjam

Bored, lifeless. I think I just need someone to talk to besides family members.


----------



## elle88

I'm feeling okay, much better know that I've found SAS and have found people who I can relate to, listen to me to me and offer useful advice. And it feels good that I can help others too


----------



## MoonlitMadness

Depressed and lonely.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Incredibly anxious. For the last few minutes I've just started panicking for no reason. My stomach hurts a little bit and I feel generally horrible. I think I'm having a mild panic attack. I hope this passes in the next few minutes.

I have a bit of shortness of breath, tightness in the chest as well as heart palptations and light-headedness. I also have a slight touch of nausea.


----------



## tea111red

Worn down.


----------



## VictimEternal

Today i'm experiencing a flat mood , maybe because i took just one Clonazepam , but it feels really good , i feel like writing entire paragraphs of nonesense , and i don't want to be mean to anybody , i just want to vent off


----------



## PandaBearx

Sad, nothing is going well today.


----------



## Nicole G

PandaBearx said:


> Sad, nothing is going well today.


:hug

I am feeling sad too. We can be sad together.


----------



## PandaBearx

Nicole G said:


> :hug
> 
> I am feeling sad too. We can be sad together.


*passes some ice cream* :squeeze


----------



## Kind Of

I saw a young father around my age get on the bus with his infant daughter. She put her head on his shoulder, and he gave her a kiss. It was super-cute and made my morning.


----------



## Nicole G

PandaBearx said:


> *passes some ice cream* :squeeze


mmmm ice cream. Thank you!

I'm not sad right now just confused about things.


----------



## slyfox

Sick and foggy headed


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Cool as anything.. mellow.


----------



## NiamhB

I feel terrible, my ribs are sore and swollen :cry


----------



## Tibble

sleepy


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mixture of depression, loneliness, self loathing, & restlessness


----------



## TenYears

Missing her, so much that it's killing me. I don't think I even know how to feel anything else anymore. I just want this to end. I just wish I had one more day with her.

If only...


----------



## crimeclub

dontwaitupforme said:


> Cool as anything.. mellow.


Pass it over here.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy & asthmatic


----------



## KILOBRAVO

relaxed


----------



## Nekomata

Relaxed, calm, collected~


----------



## PlayerOffGames

a lil drunk


----------



## LolaViola

I'm aight, just gettin' my chill on


----------



## slyfox

Like things are hopeless and I'm a failure


----------



## dontwaitupforme

crimeclub said:


> Pass it over here.


Hahaha


----------



## RelinquishedHell

yuck


----------



## Nicole G

Worried. I am always worrying.


----------



## slyfox

Very tired and lazy. Just wanna get things over with and go back to bed


----------



## SofaKing

Pretty fricking amazing, actually. I'm sure the more depressed among the SAS community will start gathering their pitchforks and lighting torches if I continue to be so damned chipper, but I can't help myself.

Things with my SAS GF are going amazingly well, even for a LDR....so, take that folks...SA love is possible and distance doesn't have to get in the way as long as you do make some in-person visits.

Fingers still crossed, but green lights and happier days are ahead.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry, restless, anxious


----------



## KILOBRAVO

alright ( again)


----------



## probably offline

Disgusting.


----------



## burningpile

Optimistic, far from yesterday's hopelessness. Let's hope it lasts.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Fairly neutral at the moment


----------



## coeur_brise

Like a hot mess. A burning hot mess.


----------



## blue2

coeur_brise said:


> Like a hot mess. A burning hot mess.


Do you speak french...?


----------



## coeur_brise

blue2 said:


> Do you speak french...?


Un tout petit peu. Not fluently though.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

Fine.


----------



## cosmicslop

So lazy. I should have gone for a jog two hours ago, but I put it off. We're having baked chicken this evening, so I'm going to force myself to run and have dinner as a reward. also I decided to post this here so maybe talking about lazy on a public forum will make me feel ashamed of being lazy and get me get going.

edit: the chicken is already done. God, help me get off my ***. Please.

edit: I went jogging


----------



## Nebulos

Depressed, hopeless.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Horrible. Extremely depressed, very anxious/panicky, and regretting the decision I made today, even though I pretty much regret everything I do.


----------



## Kazumichan

Tired. And I have to take my meds but I'm putting it off because the though of swallowing pills is making me nauseous :|


----------



## AussiePea

Just generally unhappy, for reasons unknown. I should know by now that spending Sundays in my room rarely ends without me feeling crap.


----------



## slyfox

Tired. Hope nothing wakes me up after I get to bed


----------



## Nicole G

slowly starting to get better


----------



## Cylon

Confused.


----------



## Marko3

^ well, u have shown yourself u have the capacity to beat SA.. which is good.. keep on going









anyways im tired.. chillin my day off.. switching between Left for Dead 2 on steam and Dark Souls on xbox.. listening to youtube musikk..

I might take a nap soon...


----------



## Andras96

Lethargic.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

slightly sleepy.... but I have eaten a lot today.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

slight sleepy,.. wondering what the future holds for me . wondering if I wil be alone for the rest of life. ? I feel uncertain also.


----------



## EmyMax

Happy that i'm getting to know new and cool people with the same political views as me, and that all I want, from my life, is getting slowly closer and closer everyday.


----------



## nunya

I'm feeling hopeful


----------



## Andras96

Numb.


----------



## LolaViola

Blah.


----------



## PlayerOffGames

bored -_-


----------



## Nicole G

Worrying again. Why do I have to always worry? I wish I could just relax and enjoy myself.


----------



## Kind Of

What a world it is when I'm delighted to see a client who seems to care and have initiative when it comes to their own life.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless/anxious


----------



## Cerberus

full of energy


----------



## BackToThePast

Pretty traumatized by my own mind. It's astonishing how intensely my memories can attack me. It's like PASD (Post Anxiety Stress Disorder), with no pun intended.


----------



## Andras96

I feel like a complete idiot.


----------



## Nekomata

Tired and bored, generally ><


----------



## joked35

I swear I went from like 115 notifications to 93 out of nowhere. Where did they go?


----------



## KILOBRAVO

alright


----------



## Tibble

frustrated and bored ._____.


----------



## Nicole G

I am feeling calm and am enjoying myself for a change. Hopefully this lasts for a while.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

felt a little unwell earlier. but again.... it comes night time and i feel OK. why cant i feel like this all the damn time !?


----------



## Cletis

On a scale of 1 to 10 ... about a 3.


----------



## Nicole G

KILOBRAVO said:


> felt a little unwell earlier. but again.... it comes night time and i feel OK. why cant i feel like this all the damn time !?


 I know how you feel. I feel better during the morning and afternoon hours but once the evening and night time hits, I hit a low point. It also frustrates me that I can't feel okay all time. Wish there was some way to fix that. The only thing I can think of is I need an increase in my medication.



Cletis said:


> On a scale of 1 to 10 ... about a 3.


:hug


----------



## musiclover55

Annoyed and tired.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

NOT SURPRISINGLY.. alright.... di I expect to feel Ok tomorrow morning or afternoon.... not really. If I do its a bonus.


----------



## Nicole G

Unexcited about tonight. Having a friend come over and we are supposed to go to my parents and hand out candy. I'm just not feeling up to it. Don't really understand why though.


----------



## Hikikomori2014

excited.
It's getting colder...tomorrow should be bonafide beanie and jacket weather.
I may take a drive around 2am tomorrow and go grocery shopping and cruise.

I love the weather


----------



## peachypeach

I feel good.

and bad.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

weak and exhausted


----------



## probably offline

Massive head ache(**** you eyes when will you stop ruining my life), but having a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.


----------



## PandaBearx

Sad & I don't really know why, well I do, but I shouldn't be so out of it....


----------



## Mur

Hungry


----------



## KILOBRAVO

contented.... for now. soon its bed time....


----------



## Nicole G

worried and anxious


----------



## KILOBRAVO

quiet. a little sleepy. not thinking of anything in particular


----------



## BackToThePast

Despondent


----------



## slyfox

Tense and wanting to eat


----------



## EternalTime

I feel so loved and lucky, thanks to my amazing soul mate. :heart


----------



## slyfox

Frustrated


----------



## inerameia

I feel like wtf am I doing with my life


----------



## extremly

I honestly feel good lately. I can't explain but it must be the coming winter temperature.


----------



## slyfox

Irritable


----------



## BackToThePast

Passively upset


----------



## catcharay

Like a *********** (aka fat..my bf's term)

Bangers and mash, lollies and peanut butter and raisin slices


----------



## VictimEternal

i'm feeling well and alive , much to your disgust punk nerd , in your sad face


----------



## Nicole G

upset that the clocks changed back and it will get dark an hour earlier. I hate the dark, it depresses me.


----------



## slyfox

Sleepy and surprisingly full


----------



## herk

tco tired


----------



## eveningbat

Scared


----------



## KILOBRAVO

Nicole G said:


> upset that the clocks changed back and it will get dark an hour earlier. I hate the dark, it depresses me.


I know..... its so fuc**** stupid. why not ADVANCE the clocks about 2 hours..... and then its light until a lot later. because the mornings are gettign darker, regardless of that stupid one hour change.

special hugs for eveningbat too..... ''scared'' does not sound good.


----------



## TryingMara

Low, defeated.


----------



## T Studdly

Troubled and confused.


----------



## Nicole G

Worried and anxious yet again.


----------



## To22

Utopia got cancelled:


----------



## KILOBRAVO

ok... but I can feel the slight twinge of maybe heartburn again . uhg... I eat too much at night time.


----------



## Cerberus

Stupidly happy


----------



## jcastaway

so lonely


----------



## inerameia

very depressed


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Pretty miserable. Empty, hopeless, depressed, and a little anxious. Everything is too hard, and I'm too stubborn and stupid to figure it out. I want to cry yet again. Crying is all I want to do, but crying won't solve my problems.


----------



## Fey

I'm gonna juxtaposition and go with feathery.


----------



## RubixQ

Exhausted. Felt like I spent most of my energy yesterday and I'm paying for it now.


----------



## slyfox

Tense and frustrated


----------



## Nicole G

a little worried


----------



## Mur

Disappointed, meh, I'll get over it....


----------



## slyfox

Tired and lazy


----------



## RestlessNative

Bored. And stressed.


----------



## diamondheart89

Happy.


----------



## peachypeach

happy i chatted to my friend, want those journals. maybe to draw.

disrupted about a girl ............... knew her character, but it's difficult when you love someone! oh the secrets.


----------



## TenYears

diamondheart89 said:


> Happy.


OK, I'm reporting this to mods. This is totally unacceptable, completely offensive Miss Heart. Happy is not allowed anywhere on this forum and esp not in this thread. This is the first time I've ever seen a post like this in my four years of being here. Everyone else knows better. What were you thinking...


----------



## diamondheart89

TenYears said:


> OK, I'm reporting this to mods. This is totally unacceptable, completely offensive Miss Heart. Happy is not allowed anywhere on this forum and esp not in this thread. This is the first time I've ever seen a post like this in my four years of being here. Everyone else knows better. What were you thinking...


Some of us just want to see the world burn, I guess.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Hopeless and lonely. Friends are something I'm incapable of gaining. My social skills are simply not up to par and that hurts me so much. I am nothing. I'm the piece that doesn't belong in the puzzle. I should never have been born.


----------



## Nicole G

a little down and worrying as usual


----------



## Citrine

Avoidant and anxious. Even ended up skipping a class.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonably OK. my anxiousness has been less for about 3 or 4 weeks now... but I have had little to be anxious about.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Kind of ****ty. I was in an unusually good mood about an hour ago, but that mood was very brief, and I'm back to feeling generally crappy. I literally felt good for about, 5-10ish minutes. 

My sister told me that I seem pretty happy whenever I'm home. I guess that tells me that I'm good at hiding my general unhappiness. That's kind of good, I guess, but it means that they don't know. People don't understand what I go through on a daily basis, and when I tell them and I'm not actually as I appear, (happy) rather I'm miserable, and slowly dying inside - they don't understand. They respond with confusion.

"Huh? But you always seem happy whenever I see you."

:/


----------



## slyfox

Lazy and craving the foods I used to frequently eat


----------



## Nicole G

Glass-Shards said:


> Kind of ****ty. I was in an unusually good mood about an hour ago, but that mood was very brief, and I'm back to feeling generally crappy. I literally felt good for about, 5-10ish minutes.
> 
> My sister told me that I seem pretty happy whenever I'm home. I guess that tells me that I'm good at hiding my general unhappiness. That's kind of good, I guess, but it means that they don't know. People don't understand what I go through on a daily basis, and when I tell them and I'm not actually as I appear, (happy) rather I'm miserable, and slowly dying inside - they don't understand. They respond with confusion.
> 
> "Huh? But you always seem happy whenever I see you."
> 
> :/


:hug

How am I feeling? Annoyed that my head always keeps spinning trying to find something for me to be worried or feel sad about. Why can't it just let me relax and enjoy myself?


----------



## Noca

Sick, weak, gut ache, tired.


----------



## Nitrogen

very, very, very, incredibly overwhelmed.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

still slightly frustrated.


----------



## flykiwi

overwhelmed..
I have to take the cat to the vet for surgery and hes going to howl and be terrified
so i feel horrible..plus it will cost alot..
never ending homework.. I need to find a job that will
accept 25 ish hours and navigate my school days..
fill out fafsa again and hopefully I wont lose my student financial aid or
medicaid once I get a job..otherwise i cant go to school.
then when i have spare time i have to learn from this website because
the required classes im taking are not even covering what im majoring in..
and i need to lose 15 lbs by christmas..


----------



## jessepit

I don't Feel good this time.


----------



## Nicole G

I'm doing okay but it is the morning.


----------



## Cerberus

Pretty damn good since I just exercised


----------



## Kind Of

Don't have to start working yet, but there's no one to talk to and I already played games for a few hours last night.

...

...

...

Guess I'll just start working.


----------



## Reckoner7

Kinda regret accepting a invite to go see a play next week. Have all sorts of images in my mind as to the type of people going, all outgoing, extroverted types and i'll be their all mute. But I guess I need to try at least and see how it goes.


----------



## slyfox

Like crap. Hopefully I'm not coming down with something again


----------



## Unknown0001

Confused


----------



## cj66

Sad that I won't be at the game tonight


----------



## uziq

Apathetic about everything. Lazy, empty etc


----------



## KILOBRAVO

a bit anxious.... slightly excited, apprehensive..... maybe there is a chance of some work or training approaching, but I am nervous about it. But I feel I have to push myself...otherwise... i wont be able to improve my life more.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

gliding into a very relaxed state of mind


----------



## BackToThePast

Just got an email alerting me about my poor midterm grade. Welp, you know how I feel.


----------



## slyfox

Overwhelmed and depressed


----------



## Fairykins

Gross. I have the flu.
At least my throat doesn't feel like it's on fire anymore


----------



## bewareofyou

happy


----------



## TenYears

I feel so out of place. I really don't belong in this world.


----------



## AceEmoKid

i tried a nab of wax for the first time almost 2 hours ago and i'm still feeling a lucid, full body sensation of "what the ****" omg....at first it wasn't so much different than regular weed, but a good twenty minutes later, i was having a regular weed experience amplified 3 times. god i feel woozy. feels like there's an air bubble trapped in my chest and the back right of my head is frozen....man i should draw a picture of the symptoms on a person actualized. sldkjsklajsadlkjsdakljsadljsad let me melt please


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

Pensive.


----------



## Kind Of

I just wanna motorboat this cake and all its frosting.


----------



## Yer Blues

Stressed.

Lol, one month of not posting and I'm back to cringing again.


----------



## Nicole G

I am feeling okay, it is the morning though. Hopefully it will last the whole day.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mild headache


----------



## Dan iel

Can't get over the reality of the life and myself. I hope one day I will just get on with it and accept it that this is the way things are. I know that I am not in demand or desired and that other people are more so than me. I don't have any talent and only have average looks.

I don't really enjoy life that much. It's always been a let down. I wouldn't mind but I have no self esteem and I have to go out and people make me feel worse. Hard to feel any happiness. I don't believe in people and life but they both don't care what I think of it.

A lot of people are capable of having really good things but I always feel like I'm the only one who can't.

I hope one day I'll change how I think about the world but it seems like this is it for now.


----------



## Charmeleon

I'm all beat up and in a lot of pain lol. Also definitely not happy to be back to this forum



Yer Blues said:


> Stressed.
> 
> Lol, one month of not posting and I'm back to cringing again.


:O

Haven't seen you around in a long time, welcome back to the cringe


----------



## TryingMara

Pathetic.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

sleepy, and very slightly anxious.


----------



## Nicole G

tired and a little bit out of it


----------



## BehindClosedDoors

Annoyed, my budgie just buzzed my head again for the second time in ten minutes. I think he's trying to do me a favor and take my head off.

Sorry to all of you feeling bad lately. I hope you all feel better soon.


----------



## srschirm

Feeling morning anxiety now, but overall I have some good things going on in my life. I'm looking forward to working out on my lunch break.


----------



## Reckoner7

Excited and crapping myself at the same time for tomorrow. Annoying when you end up worrying about trivial things so can't focus enough on the more important things when going out like actually talking to people!


----------



## ShatteredGlass

nervous


----------



## BackToThePast

I feel like taking a dumpling into my bowl of rice.


----------



## Hikikomori2014

I feel like crap.
I had to deal with the worst situation @ work.

The Boss's wife was in the office and is very inquisitive by nature.
I had to hold-in my uneasiness when answering her questions:

Do you live alone? YES
Are you single? YES
Do you have family here? NO
Did you go to a Halloween party? NO
Do you have any friends?
etc.

She must surely think me a looser now.
She wants to invite me to her place for Christmas.
Last thing I need is pity from my Boss's wife


----------



## slyfox

Tired and wanting to go back to bed


----------



## KILOBRAVO

OK. but again I have had a drink and now its nearly bed time, I always feel better at night time.


----------



## AceEmoKid

i finally did it.....figured out how to instantaneously gratify my craving for weed. couldnt find a metal bowl this whole time, but i figured out that you can just stick a joint in the stem of the bong as an alternative. so then there was a whole struggle with figuring out how to pack the tightest, neatest joint that would exactly fill the stem....oh god im really dizzy right now lol. anyway i smoked the remaining .5 gram (more or less) left of my weed. yup. lol. im dying omg this is the msot ive ever smoked, since i got the ghetto bong all to me myself and i.


----------



## slyfox

Sad and depressed


----------



## Yer Blues

:|


----------



## TryingMara

Annoyed, tired and hungry.


----------



## slyfox

Like everything is hopeless, but that I have no choice but to try to make it work


----------



## Cerberus

Aggressive


----------



## Nicole G

Relaxed but it is the morning


----------



## nubly

Upset. My bladder hasn't been voiding completely for a few weeks. I'm not of the age to experience this problem yet.


----------



## Charmeleon

feels like I died, maybe I am dead and just don't realize it or something :/


----------



## Cerberus

Violent

Lots of violent fantasies. I want to grab some random person and smash their head in like this:


----------



## slyfox

Miserable. Can't have any foods I enjoy more and am probably doomed anyway


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry & restless


----------



## KILOBRAVO

calm now . but I was irritated and frustrated earlier.


----------



## AceEmoKid

distraught, pensive, haunted. like when a happy, carefree song rolls over the credits right after a depressing film.


----------



## srschirm

Pretty down at the moment.


----------



## Nicole G

Pompeii said:


> I'm feeling like I'm not Lidia Bastianich. Disappointing.


She is pretty awesome!

I am feeling okay but a little nervous because I might have to make a phone call today. The thought of talking to a stranger on the phone makes me anxious and hopefully I can put it off till another day. Eventually I will have to do it though *yikes*


----------



## Cerberus

Feeling very relieved due to exercise


----------



## millenniumman75

I think I took a nap.


----------



## eveningbat

Sleepy.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

tired now.... but a little relieved of some earlier stress in the week. I have no idea how long the relief will last.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Kind of depressed. I don't really know why though. There isn't really much reason for me to be depressed right at this moment. Well, there's a little, but not too much, especially considering it's Friday.

Ugh, Depression. :/


----------



## AllieG

I feel like crying. Sigh.


----------



## Nicole G

so so. A little excited about tonight, having a friend over. It will be nice to have some company. Still worrying like usual though.


----------



## Kind Of

Boring weekend, but at least I have the people of the Internet to amuse me.

"It warms you from the inside."
"Like a dick."
"Yes. Poutine is like a dick you eat."

I can almost forget that I won't be seeing another human face until Monday.


----------



## jim11

Bored, lonely, desperate, tired.


----------



## HenceNoStepsTaken

Sad and lonely all the time. No motivation for anything. I just got a job, but I don't care anymore.


----------



## Nicole G

cold and worrying a little.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## Reckoner7

Confused: Had a sort of apithany earlier today, made me think about people's behaviour towards me and why they do the things they do to me and others. I kinda realised that given the circumstances *most* people would have done the same to a certain degree, but I wouldn't act that way, not in a million years, i'm not that manipulative. But then I wonder am I being stupid for not looking after number one (regardless of the consequences) but being too 'nice' -_-


----------



## Nicole G

anxious and worried


----------



## thomasjune

I had an awesome weekend. I feel great.


----------



## Charmeleon

Bored at work, booooooooo!!!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mild headache & slightly uneasy physically, combination of poor diet, poor sleep, & after effects of last nights drinks


----------



## AceEmoKid

Like roadkill. Numb and dumb.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

dumb and anxious and socially incompetent


----------



## slyfox

Not great. My body is still getting used to eating more fruits and vegetables. About to head to my psychiatrist. Hope I don't get really sick there


----------



## Lonel016

Confused. And I feel like i'm in the wrong place.


----------



## jlscho03

Eh, okay. Had a rough day on the job today knowing that the work I'm doing will make zero difference, and that I'm doing extra work that no one even notices. I've been upset about that, but it's not all terrible, I guess. I mean, if they want to pay me and then just undo all my work three days later, it really is no concern to me. It's just a little depressing knowing I'm working so hard to make zero difference, when right now there is a difference, but no one is willing to work with me, and all it would take is just little things they could do to keep it up, but due to either laziness or just not caring, they choose not to. 

But I am home where it's warm now, so it's all good.


----------



## EternalTime

So loved and happy


----------



## caelle

Annoyed


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I want to hurt myself, although I can only do it when I'm alone, obviously. I hate myself. I'm too weak to cope with the world. I need drugs to keep my emotions and anxiety in check. Ahahahaha.

I'm slowly losing myself from reality from this. I must be transcending to a lower plane of existence. My body is becoming an empty shell. My soul is fading away. 

Help me. Oh wait, that's right. I'm beyond help. Even my 'experienced' psychologist doesn't do a thing to help me. Yeah, just talk about yourself and say absolutely nothing that is of any use to me even though I show all the signs of being completely and utterly uninterested. Maybe you could give me some methods to help me end my life. That'd be useful.

I just say 'yep', 'yep', 'yep', 'yep', 'yep', 'yep', 'okay', 'mmhm'. I might as well say 'I don't give even a small hint of a **** about what you were like when you were my age. JUST SAYING.' Carry on.

Basically, I'm feeling ****ing horrible, but that's nothing new or unusual; more like, constant.


----------



## Rozco

Anger, hurted !!


----------



## slyfox

Stressed and overwhelmed


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Horrible, as is fast becoming the norm for me. I just keep suffering as the awkward one out. The third wheel, the silent one, etc. It makes me so angry. I get urges to hurt myself. Hurting myself is the only way to get the pain out, or rather, temporarily mask the pain. I'm just ignored, left to suffer in my own social incompetence. 

I'm silently calling for help. Nobody responds. Nobody cares. Why would they? Nobody has any reason to give a **** about me anyway. I'm just the awkward freak that doesn't belong. Everybody closes their groups, not allowing others in; or, more accurately, not letting me in.

I'm seriously considering allowing others to see my self harm injuries just so I can have somebody talk to me - remind me of my existence. I don't mind if I get a 'you need help' or two. I already know that I need help.


----------



## Nicole G

I'm worried that this increase in medication is not going to make a difference and I will still feel like crap for the next two weeks.


----------



## VictimEternal

I feel relieved , i managed to spend all my 100 US dollars funds that were stuck in my steam wallet , with the help of my american friend i connected to the UK and from there to afghanistan and hence circumvented US sanctions , i bought one advanced warfare season pass and one civilization beyond earth with my 100$ , now i only have 2 cents left in my account , so even if they hack it , they're gonna be disappointed , 

now i realize how kind and caring some americans can be , some are cruel but some other are too kind too , thank you american friend , without your help i would have to beg my dad for money again just to get the season pass ; i actually thanked you there too , but my comment didn't show up , so i'de like to thank you again from here !


----------



## coeur_brise

Cold and numb, both literally and figuratively. Strangely empty and emotional, like I could get the "drunk" kind of emotional, sentimental and all Woe is I, I luv u bro, weeps then bursts into song. You'll always be there right? Forgets about every transgression. I keep feeling like everyone is talking about me, like every other word they say is about me. So very paranoid. So emotional, I want to request a lullaby with abo****ely no sense of censorship or dignity. My feet hurt, hold me. Wow.


----------



## diamondheart89

Good. I made plans for tonight with a friend I haven't seen in ages.


----------



## vanilla90

Why is there injustice in this world? Because of men like me? 

There are no men like me. Only me.


----------



## TryingMara

Exhausted, a little out of it, nervous and excited all at once.


----------



## TabbyTab

Tired as hell. But can't exactly go to sleep yet unless I wanna fail my science test tomorrow. z.z


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit wound up, need to let off some more steam


----------



## Sirimiri

Really tired. I wish I could hibernate for a while.
And that feeling you get after a breakup, even if the relationship lasted for a few months, just that _empty_ feeling in your chest. But that may be because I didn't eat before I left for school, haha.


----------



## Nicole G

Exhausted and frustrated. Tired of not being able to find anything to help with how I am feeling. Tried the antidepressant and nothing, now trying to increase the ADD medication and nothing. Maybe it's not meds that can help but therapy I need. I worry far too much and my head is always spinning trying to find something to worry about in which I can never be calm and relaxed.


----------



## mr hoang

Restless. Tired of waiting for work. Seasonal jobs suck sometimes, and there's almost nothing I can do about it. Besides something online.
I wake up in the morning feeling useless. Nothing is satisfying lately.


----------



## pbandjam

Kind of sad after I read this:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

I don't know if I can ever be a better person


----------



## EcoProg

i ate tacos today. im happy.


----------



## EcoProg

Buckyx said:


> drinking from 8pm to 6am, mixing all types of hard alcohol and wine, sleeping 4 hours .. GUESS


drink a ****ton of water before you sleep


----------



## EcoProg

Buckyx said:


> so I can instantly puke?  damn I feel very weird, but somehow only a minor headache and strange feeling in stomach .. when I drinked like 3+ litres beer only my head was going to explode the next day


beats feeling hungover


----------



## goku23

feeling ok today!
had a good workout last night so that will keep me feeling good til the next one!
felt completely worthless a few days ago though, couldnt train because of an injury and had to rest, felt like a big waste of space! but definitely a little better now


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Fairly miserable right now. There's this feeling of complete hopelessness that is in my chest. 

It's a slightly nauseating feeling.

I'm tired. The amount of sleep doesn't get a say in how much energy I have during the day. Maybe it's the heat. Summer is here in about a week. I'm not at all looking forward to the glorious heatwaves Australia is known for.

_________

I have my two toughest exams tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous. The English one shouldn't be.. too bad. The Humanities one however... I'm not at all prepared. It's too late to prepare. I looked at the first part of the exam on Friday. It was seriously beyond me. I guess I haven't done adequate semester work and preperation. I also have one of my art exams. That exam shouldn't be too bad, although I'm often proven wrong by the seemingly more simple exams. Who knows what horrors could be in store?

For the English exam we're writing two essays and analysing two articles; in the span of about - an hour and 10 minutes. I doubt I'll even finish. Although I find that in exams, my motivation levels go sky high compared to what they are in general classes. I'll be disappointed to any result less than like - 70%. With the amount of preparation that I've done though (none).. I think I should probably prepare myself for some disappointments.

My maths exam is probably going to be my worst result though. I've done next to nothing in maths all year. I'm setting myself up for a failure and possible humiliation in maths. It's all because of my social phobia though. I don't like talking to teachers and asking questions. I prefer to do nothing, but I make myself feel ****ty by doing so. I cannot win. I don't deserve to pass. I think I'll do better in this exam than the last exam though. I've payed slightly more attention in class this semester. I heard that there is going to be like, 20-something multiple choice questions too. Unfortunately though, they're only worth one mark each, I believe.

I guess I'll be writing down whatever crap comes to mind for my essays and hoping for the best. Ideas come to my head very fast in exams, for some reasons. I guess it's the pressure, which in other situations has the opposite effect. I guess it helps that the room is silent and I can concentrate better.


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling determined, albeit intoxicated, but determined nonetheless


----------



## ali 1997

I feel awesome, it's my birthday tomorrow.


----------



## borntodie19

Frustrated, boring :blank


----------



## Marakunda

Stomach hurts and I can't remember **** again. Ha. I think I had fun though...


----------



## Rozco

hurt.


----------



## Nicole G

I guess I am okay. I'm not really calm and relaxed but that's normal for me.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Slight headache from a lack of sleep otherwise ok


----------



## jsmith92

Canadian Brotha said:


> Slight headache from a lack of sleep otherwise ok


You get used to it after a while don't you? I have the same thing because I don't sleep enough. Sometimes I forget I'm even tired.


----------



## To22

Asked about refurbished Wii U stock. Got off the phone with Nintendo like:


----------



## apx24

Severely depressed. Depression has hit me hard today

:sigh


----------



## meandernorth

I placed my first online grocery order which will be ready soon. This is my first online grocery experience and I'm curious how it turns out.


----------



## inane

More demoralized than I've felt in a long time.


----------



## RubixQ

ali 1997 said:


> I feel awesome, it's my birthday tomorrow.


Happy birthday!

My morning walk didn't have the desired effect and mentally I felt exhausted. Got a bit teary and now I just feel lost.


----------



## Andras96

Empty, broken, drained, and lost.


----------



## Nicole G

A little bit angry.


----------



## Batcat

I don't even feel anything, I guess that is normality for me.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit disoriented, I really need to start sleeping better


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Hella stressed. Constantly anxious and miserable. I have heaps of work to catch up on and exams are stressing me out. Ughhhhh

#mylife


----------



## slyfox

Overwhelmed. It's entirely my fault though... Could've worked harder on things days ago when I had more time


----------



## meandernorth

Tired. Watching news coverage from Missouri.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Mentally exhausted. Can't be bothered. Just don't care.

I think I might have OCD. Or BDD. And BPD. Or AvPD.

Just more disorders to add to my arsenal of problems.


----------



## jsmith92

Glass-Shards said:


> Mentally exhausted. Can't be bothered. Just don't care.
> 
> I think I might have OCD. Or BDD. And BPD. Or AvPD.
> 
> Just more disorders to add to my arsenal of problems.


I got 2 tests tomorrow. Ugh. I am like so done with homework for the week.


----------



## redstar312

I am feeling that I deserve to be killed.


----------



## peachypeach

___________________. there finally you guys understand. jk... i feel the same as i should.

just waiting for my nest. lots of pain, why? my shoulders, my brain, myself ? broken. All I have is someone I love, for being a dear friend. Without her is hell. and Him of course, these 4 i can live 4. luckily the number multiples to 6 if i count everyone. so 6 hearts. plus my fathers n mine. thats not even counting the boys. the other 3.

i'm very different. 379? idk what this means yet.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Happy that I only have a 3 day work week. I'm also getting my 90 day review and a raise tomorrow.


----------



## RachRenee

Glass-Shards said:


> Hideous. Stupid. Miserable. Panicked.
> 
> I'm panicking right now. I've destroyed my face. I plucked my eyebrows, but I accidentally made them too thin. I can't bear to look at my face. It looks so ugly and stupid. I hate myself. I have to face school tomorrow. I can't even begin to imagine the inevitable staring and gossip about it. No. No. No. My life is ruined. This can't be happening.
> 
> What have I done? I've made yet another horrible decision. So humiliated. What if I have a panic attack at school and embarrass myself further? I can't bear the thought. :'(


Why don't you fill them in? Use an eyebrow pencil.


----------



## Reclus

Perplexed at being targeted with web advertising for vaginal wipes.... :um


----------



## goku23

really bad today, really bad!
insomnia is returning also, barely got 3 hours last night. overthinking again


----------



## Nicole G

A little bit nervous and my head keeps trying to find something to worry about. Would it just quit and let me relax and enjoy the moment and worry about the things that need to get done later at that time?


----------



## Jago24

Right now I'm mentally and physically exhausted, I haven't been to bed yet due to Adderall keeping me wide awake all night and I have my second therapy session in an hour I hope I am able to think clearly and express my thoughts. After that I have class for 2 hours and then I have a 4 hour shift. This will be death of me :sus


----------



## slyfox

Lots of anxiety


----------



## QuitSweatinMe

Pissed off. I've already been pissed off 4 times from people's rudeness and it's only 10: 41 am. sheesh


----------



## Nicole G

All the over the place. My mind just won't stop.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Gassy, restless, anxious, lonely, confused


----------



## coeur_brise

I don't know if it's crushed or can't take my mind off of it. or because I'm depressed, it's staying on my mind. either way, it's a little bit funny, this feeling inside. I want rid of it. Hurt.


----------



## vanilla90

In one of those weird, crazy moods. I keep on replacing the title of Smiths songs with my last name


----------



## Batcat

Tired, but I won't go to bed because I'll just lay there and feel negative.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Slightly uncomfortable in my own body. I feel unwelcome. A little faded. My thoughts are cloudly. Thoughts are jagged and half baked. I'd rather be completely empty and apathetic than how I am now. Who knows what I'd be labelled as if I were completely apathetic and just didn't care though.

I'd try recreational drugs if given the opportunity. Just to try something new; experience a feeling that could be better than the draining existence I lead in full conciousness. To fill the emptiness with drugged air. Sometimes I feel like I see the world through a light, gentle mist. I describe it as a cloud that weighs me down. I wonder if antidepressants would help me with this?

I've been rejected and ditched so much that.. well I guess I'm fairly numb to rejection now. I don't feel it as much. I'm used to it. It's no longer a new and horrible feeling. That is depressing in itself. I'm miserable that I'm so lonely and I can't make friends, but mostly, I'm too emotionally drained to care. Instead, my emotions take a toll on my mental wellbeing in their devastating silence.

Instead of emotional rationality, my body decides to take the route of spontaneous anxiety and, occasionally even panic. It's like the logical and rational side of my brain is of adequate strength and intelligence while the emotional regions are handicapped. 

Right now, I'm feeling miserable. I wish I could be unconscious whenever I please. It's a shame that my suffering still gets to me in my unconscious state, i.e dreams. There's this feeling of heavyness in my chest. It's that familiar feeling of misery. I wish it would all stop. I'm so empty. I'm nothing. I'm a complete and utter mess.

Everybody should just forget that I exist. That wouldn't be hard though. I am nothing, and I never was anything.


----------



## peachypeach

i just had some suicidal tendencies, lots of bloody visions. hammer, ANGER. angry i don't have answers. why i am different... why i can read it and not others! HATING YOU(my 2 so called friends), and my mother is just about most useless mother on Earth right now.

listening to piggy. had a crying session. angry showering session. angry angry angry... wanted to light something on fire that's how annoyed i was. my friend ruined many things, forget him! forget her! forget everyone, well my mom ruined it too! HATE it. atleast i have a love. if not anyone else. and YOU (my so called 2 friends) had to ruin it.

should be my last post ever. and it will be. no one here helps, only Radianthero was a good friend.

Ruiner is more suitable for these 2. "my world is wearing your disease, i can see what you really are"


----------



## jsmith92

peachypeach said:


> i just had some suicidal tendencies, lots of bloody visions. hammer, ANGER. angry i don't have answers. why i am different... why i can read it and not others! HATING YOU(my 2 so called friends), and my mother is just about most useless mother on Earth right now.
> 
> listening to piggy. had a crying session. angry showering session. angry angry angry... wanted to light something on fire that's how annoyed i was. my friend ruined many things, forget him! forget her! forget everyone, well my mom ruined it too! HATE it. atleast i have a love. if not anyone else. and YOU (my so called 2 friends) had to ruin it.
> 
> should be my last post ever. and it will be. no one here helps, only Radianthero was a good friend.
> 
> Ruiner is more suitable for these 2. "my world is wearing your disease, i can see what you really are"


Whatever you do don't hurt yourself. Seek help!!!!


----------



## Andras96

I'm feeling dead inside.


----------



## Nicole G

Overwhelmed


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonably OK.


----------



## peachypeach

jsmith92 said:


> Whatever you do don't hurt yourself. Seek help!!!!


i'm not psychotic, but just about enough pain.

i always have suicidal thoughts... but... i can't do anything about it regardless, i'm always stuck.

Thanks for caring.


----------



## microbopeep

Feeling sluggish


----------



## Nicole G

Finally my mind is calm right now. I'm scared it won't last long but I got to savour this as much as possible!


----------



## B l o s s o m

excited because it's my birthday today


----------



## alienbird

B l o s s o m said:


> excited because it's my birthday today


Happy birthday! :hb


----------



## B l o s s o m

Grand said:


> Happy birthday! :hb


:boogie :yay
Thanks gurl


----------



## PhilipJ

B l o s s o m said:


> excited because it's my birthday today


1 week before mine.

you 24 or 25? i'll be 25 on the 4th. have a good one!


----------



## vanilla90

I'll drink another drink for you
One, two, three, four, five, once I drank a fish alive
I'll drop another pill for you
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, did it before, I'll do it again

I'll tell another lie for you
Tell you what you wanna hear, but that don't make it true
I'll wear another smile for you
That way you know I'm fine, and having fun with you

I'm alright, I'm alright


----------



## 0blank0

****ty...


----------



## B l o s s o m

PhilipJ said:


> 1 week before mine.
> 
> you 24 or 25? i'll be 25 on the 4th. have a good one!


Just turned 24 today  thanks!

Happy birthday early wishes so you can have a wonderful day too!


----------



## KILOBRAVO

B l o s s o m said:


> Just turned 24 today  thanks!
> 
> Happy birthday early wishes so you can have a wonderful day too!


wow ! great!

happy birthday!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Warm with a mild headache


----------



## vanilla90

Date went pretty well, about as well as a shy girl and a moderately socially anxious guy on a date can go. I kinda like her, she's as cute as a button, probably not ready for a relationship this soon but I'll see what happens. I lose a lot of my awkward charm in person, I just feel like the anxiety makes me into a bit of a dick because I act a certain way so I look "normal". Gone Girl was a fantastic film.


----------



## goku23

relaxed!
watching kill bill vol.2 on TV!

the japanese guru guy is a proper character!!
thinking of growing my beard like his....screams wisdom! lol


----------



## goku23

vanilla90 said:


> Date went pretty well, about as well as a shy girl and a moderately socially anxious guy on a date can go. I kinda like her, she's as cute as a button, probably not ready for a relationship this soon but I'll see what happens. I lose a lot of my awkward charm in person, I just feel like the anxiety makes me into a bit of a dick because I act a certain way so I look "normal". Gone Girl was a fantastic film.


sounds awesome mate, good to hear the date went well.


----------



## Kalliber

just happy


----------



## Nicole G

Not so calm and relaxed. Head is racing. Trying to calm myself down, not working.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Again I have a mild headache from a lack of sleep & poor diet, it's been my stock feeling all week


----------



## Nicole G

I guess my thoughts have calmed down a bit but still not fully relaxed.


----------



## vanilla90

Just want to forget.


----------



## PhilipJFry

Like ****. Realizing, once again, how alone I am.


----------



## Reclus

I have got to the point of deciding SAS is not really what it claims to be: a forum that promotes violence and hatred in various forms (graphic threads about knives and guns for instance) is somewhat hypocritical in claiming to "help" people coping with social anxiety. Also, in recent times, the level of moderation here (which was never very good) has declined quite seriously. One moderator in particular has a "tit for tat" approach to my posts, shutting down or just deleting my threads or comments when I venture to suggest that perhaps something is not quite right in the Kingdom of Denmark.

Some food for thought: Does promoting violence on this forum cure its members' social anxiety? Does showing photos of knives help people on this forum who are cutters? 

I have focused mainly on helping people on here with sleep issues and am glad to have turned around some of their lives. I will content myself with that and henceforth am scaling down my involvement with this forum.


----------



## AllieG

Spiraling back into depression. Fun.


----------



## peachypeach

reclus said:


> i have got to the point of deciding sas is not really what it claims to be: A forum that promotes violence and hatred in various forms (graphic threads about knives and guns for instance) is somewhat hypocritical in claiming to "help" people coping with social anxiety. Also, in recent times, the level of moderation here (which was never very good) has declined quite seriously. One moderator in particular has a "tit for tat" approach to my posts, shutting down or just deleting my threads or comments when i venture to suggest that perhaps something is not quite right in the kingdom of denmark.
> 
> Some food for thought: Does promoting violence on this forum cure its members' social anxiety? Does showing photos of knives help people on this forum who are cutters?
> 
> I have focused mainly on helping people on here with sleep issues and am glad to have turned around some of their lives. I will content myself with that and henceforth am scaling down my involvement with this forum.


thank you. and me too.


----------



## Dilweedle

I feel like an anxious wreck like always. I got really depressed earlier but I feel better now after sitting and chilling for a bit.


----------



## kickbones

Depressed and angry, as always.


----------



## millenniumman75

indescribable


----------



## huh

****ing awesome.


----------



## peachypeach

millenniumman75 said:


> indescribable


i almost thought you wrote indesireable. i was like not you, of all people! lmao.


----------



## peachypeach

ah, this morning i'm just down in the dumps... i would drink if i was a drinker.


----------



## millenniumman75

millenniumman75 said:


> indescribable





peachypeach said:


> i almost thought you wrote indesireable. i was like not you, of all people! lmao.


:lol Nah, I just didn't have a word to use at the time. I was kinda tired.


----------



## Silere

Feel like there's a war in my head.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

dont feel quite 100% feel a bit weird.... kinda tired, unsteady. ugh.....


----------



## jsmith92

I feel like a freak.


----------



## Wren611

Unmotivated and I don't care.


----------



## Joe

****


----------



## Nitrogen

when you're hungry and anticipating a meal and the waiter comes out of the kitchen with three plates full of food and he's walking towards you but then walks past and puts the food on someone else's table


----------



## Kind Of




----------



## dontwaitupforme

hungover, sleep deprived.. gross.


----------



## purechaos

George McFly said:


> All because of the knife porn thread? Wow.


 there's a knife thread? Wtf


----------



## meandernorth

stuck


----------



## vanilla90

Got a curse I cannot lift, shines when the sunset shifts


----------



## Nicole G

Not feeling that great.


----------



## goku23

had a great day today, bit of a wake up call. been lazy all these years, there was nothing stopping me from making a difference apart from me.


----------



## peachypeach

i wish i did look like that actress for him now that i think about it... i don't even have 'real' self esteem issues. but all i have ever known is pain. i doubt that actress ever suffered or any girl from high school i went with, ever suffered in this manner. a very rare amount of ppl... and i can't even be their friends on here, or in reality. and no one to go to... and this other "friend" totally was a let down, who happened to destroy things.

it's just my mind, it's not normal, it's not.


----------



## thomasjune

I had a nice long weekend with my family. Now is back to work tomorrow :/


----------



## vanilla90

"But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath was hallelujah"

Been a rough few. I can still see line upon line of bad times ahead. Let them come. Let them come. I've seen darker, I've witnessed darker, my father saw to that. Endure and resist. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used against you.
* 
*


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious, restless, worried, tired


----------



## Blackout87

Overwhelmed, tense, stressed. Having trouble coping with life right now.


----------



## waldorfs

sad, scared, alone


----------



## MiMiK

its my brothers 22nd birthday today....cant say happy bday because hes be spending it in jail.


----------



## slyfox

Always tired


----------



## Fairykins

Worried. I've started drinking alone. I don't want to develop a drinking problem _again_.


----------



## Nothing123

Useless.


----------



## peachypeach

I feel ... After I have my kids is the only time, I'll have an actual nest. Till then I gotta leave for good. It's been a year of pain. Thxs ppl, this is the last time logging on.


----------



## Cooley Shy

chilly chill


----------



## brothersport

Im hungry at this very moment. Earlier at work today I was extremely anxious, but got through it.


----------



## Neo1234

peachypeach said:


> I feel ... After I have my kids is the only time, I'll have an actual nest. Till then I gotta leave for good. It's been a year of pain. Thxs ppl, this is the last time logging on.


Lemme know when you log on next ..til den, Good luck.


----------



## Nicole G

Glass-Shards said:


> Absolutely horrible. So hopeless. So lonely.
> 
> I love somebody I can't have.
> 
> My stomach is aching. My chest is tight. It's all so hopeless. I'm getting closer.
> 
> I'm so afraid. I have to tell her, at least that I'm suicidal. How, though...?
> 
> Commence silent mental breakdown. I'm crying out for help. As loud as I can, but nobody notices. I know now that the pain I'm going through is visible in my eyes. The school principal today came out of nowhere and asked gently if I was okay. I wasn't crying, I wasn't feeling particularly horrible or anything, I guess my general misery is just visible in my face.
> 
> I really can't hide it. I thought I could, but I can't.
> 
> I'm reaching breaking point. It feels as if there is nowhere to go. All I can do is cry in my room and hope the horrors will go away.
> 
> They don't.


:hug


----------



## peachypeach

sonny680 said:


> Lemme know when you log on next ..til den, Good luck.


i logged on because i knew i had notifications, but i'm literally going to quit the computer for good now =\ sucks... but i guess i have to just get used to always being alone too.


----------



## Neo1234

peachypeach said:


> i logged on because i knew i had notifications, but i'm literally going to quit the computer for good now =\ sucks... but i guess i have to just get used to always being alone too.


Quit the computer and then come back on your phone? 

Anyway,I think theres a certain strength in being alone and if you forge a good relationship with yourself while being alone then I guess you wont need anything/anyone later on imo


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry & lazy with a mild headache


----------



## brothersport

sonny680 said:


> Quit the computer and then come back on your phone?
> 
> Anyway,I think theres a certain strength in being alone and if you forge a good relationship with yourself while being alone then I guess you wont need anything/anyone later on imo


Literally a life goal of mine to think in this way.


----------



## peachypeach

sonny680 said:


> Quit the computer and then come back on your phone?
> 
> Anyway,I think theres a certain strength in being alone and if you forge a good relationship with yourself while being alone then I guess you wont need anything/anyone later on imo


i'm the most different Desi girl anyone can ever encounter in their entire life. So yeah, the way you talk is so so typical to me... i quit, and i'm still stuck buddy.


----------



## Neo1234

brothersport said:


> Literally a life goal of mine to think in this way.


Your thoughts create your world = )


----------



## Neo1234

peachypeach said:


> i'm the most different Desi girl anyone can ever encounter in their entire life. So yeah, the way you talk is so so typical to me... i quit, and i'm still stuck buddy.


You are not stuck.Nothing is permanent on this world.Everything is changing so fast.Nothing is still.You wont even remember you're stuck this time a year from now .Everything passes fast.Its all has to deal with our thoughts..So just keep monitoring your thoughts processes,and you are not stuck anymore


----------



## BWS16

I'm so angry all the time. Life is getting the best of me. I give and give even if it means that I have to do with out. No one ever puts me 1st. It hurts and 1st I'm sad but now I'm just angry


----------



## BWS16

I know how it feels to be abandoned


----------



## microbopeep

I feel awful


----------



## ShatteredGlass

lol

just lol

;'(


----------



## peachypeach

BWS16 said:


> I know how it feels to be abandoned


me too. i made a thread about wanting to run away, lol... thats how bad it is. its worse than worse, it's the worst it could be type of worst.

i hate it when someone here thinks they know you, and that we're overreacting hah, if that were true.


----------



## Charmeleon

Pooped, overwhelmed and stressed out. I should have never come back, ggrrrrrrr


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy. Gotta get off my *** & do some stretching/exercising


----------



## uziq

1. Awkward
2. Extremely nervous about class tomorrow.


----------



## vanilla90

If I am so funny, why am I on my own tonight?
And if I am so clever, why am I on my own tonight?
And if I am so very entertaining, why am I on my own tonight?
If I am so very good looking, why do I sleep alone tonight?


----------



## microbopeep

Feeling like giving up


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired/restless


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Terrible


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Actually pretty good. Rather content.


----------



## jsmith92

Better than most of the time. I am at the highest point of the emotional rollercoaster right now. It will go downhill after this eventually but I'll enjoy it while it lasts.


----------



## uziq

Relieved that school is over with for the week


----------



## catcharay

Good.happy. ate quite nutritious for today tho just before i had many slices of harvati cheese w crackers. Cheese n crackers ..the death of me. Exercise was weeding the garden so did a hellava lot of squatting ..
Happy of my stable routine. No stress.. happy


----------



## Nicole G

A little mixed. At least it's better than feeling completely down.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted from a lack of sleep, anxious about calls I need to make/return today, happy I got the call saying I'm hired, & hungry


----------



## KILOBRAVO

frustrated ... about the tension headaches plaguing me..fuc* THIS !


----------



## Solar Wing

Angry and to many thoughts going on in my head plus I am very sleepy


----------



## vanilla90

Love is noise, love is pain, love is these blues that I'm feeling again


----------



## CWe

Like that turd in your toilet


----------



## megsy00

Bored.


----------



## thomasjune

I like Fridays. I feel pretty good right now and tomorrow is going to be awesome.


----------



## jsmith92

Suffering as usual. I must have been born to suffer. There is no other explanation for this. I won't let it drown me though. I will survive.


----------



## IntrovertPower

i really miss my old friend.


----------



## artistic

Exhausted, lack of sleep


----------



## megsy00

Defeated


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Fat, but that's okay because I am.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonable. tension headache is little better . but some slight pain remains.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Frail, tired, hungry, anxious, depressed


----------



## shelbster18

Moody. I can't get to sleep.


----------



## ChrisPCD

Just got through watching Joyride 3 and Rest Stop. Listening to Buzzoutroom. Feeling very relaxed. Life can't get a whole lot better right now.


----------



## eveningbat

Migraine is starting


----------



## vela

Extremely lonely.


----------



## Fairykins

Hungry... but I should be asleep.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Agitated, overtired, hungry


----------



## slyfox

Tried when I shouldn't be  slept about 7 hours, was up for a short bit, and then slept another 3 hours. Now I feel like I want a nap again. Not sure if it is depression, boredom, health, or all of the above.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonably OK. tension head tightness seems to be fading .


----------



## brothersport

Almost 100% apathetic. Getting to that point where I don't give a ish about anything anymore


----------



## bewareofyou

I'm so sad.. can I just stay in my room forever?


----------



## 7th.Streeter

physically: cold ..brrrr 


mentally; bleeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, a little tired, but still good. I've spent way too much time on this site today though.


----------



## Nicole G

Not too bad, slightly mixed. Going back from feeling anxious and worried to feeling calm and relaxed. Much better than just feeling anxious and worried. Please let this last.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pisse* off. Had niggling pain inside of hear today. and felt anxious and unsteady in a shop. it passed in about 10 minutes.


----------



## Rougue

exhausted, finals at college.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

a fraction better than yesterday


----------



## BackToThePast

Incredibly tired, stressed and uncertain about my future.


----------



## peachypeach

No one thinks, I'd give you wisdom but you still cannot care unless all the darn presidents started giving out life lessons. Your friendship is false, why log on. Brother is always right even ppl online r actors. I only care about one member here on Sas and he left so now what, I just wanted to know if he truly was strange. I just need to know about strangeness. Not going to lie two ppl were amazing to chat with, but guys always move on. I never saw a female and that was a initial plan to open up, ppl like me got no where to go except appreciate real life whilst being the loneliest. I still respect MJ, so I know at least other lonely ones exist. But the whole wide world has got their eyes closed, I just need to bake a pie for an aunty or something to feel real for once. How can that other stranger not even care. Yet me over here has a whole bag of damns to keep.

Truly horrifying idea.

ps. since Madonna likes Frida I wonder if she would like me. Personally, I like GAGA more for Marry the night, how heartfelt for F.

man i g2g, i'll miss you peeps, wtf am i even going to do in my very own "stress". grr, something something Hopeful still! i'll log on one more time then done man done for good.


----------



## RRL108

Nervous about my a new therapist appt tomorrow. I haven't been to one in a while. Don't have the energy to tell my story to someone again but I have decided to give it a chance. Sick of things the way they are now. At least this therapist specializes in my issues. I think one of the medications I started is helping a little since increased dosage. Don't feel quite as hopeless as I usually do.


----------



## jsmith92

RRL108 said:


> Nervous about my a new therapist appt tomorrow. I haven't been to one in a while. Don't have the energy to tell my story to someone again but I have decided to give it a chance. Sick of things the way they are now. At least this therapist specializes in my issues. I think one of the medications I started is helping a little since increased dosage. Don't feel quite as hopeless as I usually do.


If why don't you write your story down and let him read it instead of you trying to tell him in person.


----------



## RRL108

Thank you for the suggestion


----------



## KILOBRAVO

a fraction better still than yesterday. hardly any head tensions today.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Vague.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

comme si comme ca


----------



## peachypeach

i need to say something, i'm the only in the universe like this. i'm scared to cry again, scared to get depressed, depression to me can be controlled, i guess a bit, if i tried for a couple years to balance it out...

also, sucks, and hurts to be me, just like MJ. and I think God still loves me thats my hope, but I never pray. 

One time I said something like Smart girls r moronic, well the sad part is people still refused to see the concept. It's things like this I know for a fact sbout issues in society no one cares about. No one sees that all we are, are spirits. Literally, and it sucks that, i'm the only one in the world like this that i know of.

I can speak sense, but i have no energy to preach nonsense, i just wish people understood, they won't, and without me never having answers, i'm expected to relax.  you don't know how i feel.

plus, i g2g. =\.


----------



## pineapple2220

Sad...:blank


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Sad, as always. I wish I could get high.


----------



## millenniumman75

I should be asleep.
I did run late, though. it takes a while to come down from that.
I can't spend my vacation time going to bed so late, though.


----------



## akari

Anxious yet again, and a little sad.
Determined and energetic me, where are you? Haven't seen you around for quite a while.


----------



## slyfox

Ok. Questing with my girlfriend in World of Warcraft. Usually get stressed questing with someone else, but is fun today


----------



## KILOBRAVO

Ok-ish. not brilliant but certainly not bad. so this is somewhat good.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed with a mild headache


----------



## BackToThePast

I'm doing okay, thanks. How are you feeling?


----------



## forgetmylife

tired, its late

but lately i've felt lonely, depressed, sick, worn out, and fed up


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reaSONABLE ok.


----------



## Nicole G

Mixed as usual. A little nervous and a little excited.


----------



## JoeDoe87

Hopeful and content


----------



## nervousbat

Terrible. I'm having withdrawal from missing my antidepressants while cramming for finals (pulled an all-nighter) and while that was happening ended up having a social interaction that was completely traumatic. The conversation went to hell because the guy I was talking to kept saying a lot of offensive things like to me "yah, you're gonna have a lot of sex" and how not normal I was. And I was afraid of offending him the whole time and when I thought I did I had a nervous breakdown. I was so ****ing tired and I'm not good with like I guess verbal play fighting, where people jokingly insult each other but aren't actually intending to be hurtful. I just took it all personally and now I don't ever want to try talking to people again.


----------



## Silere

Tired. Annoyingly tired, I rarely am tired like this. Was gonna do something crazy tonight, still gonna but won't be as satisfying now.


----------



## 58318

Tempted to go back on meds even though I'm anti medication (hypocrite) don't want to feel any more feels.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & Cranky


----------



## shelbster18

My feelings are hurt. :/


----------



## CWe

Happy but only because of 3 burgers i just ate


----------



## brothersport

extra anxious traveling home from work. Tired, and sad.


----------



## Strawbs

Feeling good for the first time in a while, relaxed


----------



## jsmith92

Tired as s***


----------



## Amethyst Forest

I'm feeling reasonably okay.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

ok I suppose.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Unfortunate.


----------



## typemismatch

Marvelous. Thank you for asking. It's nice to be asked.


----------



## shelbster18

I feel betrayed. You don't give a person hope just to end up taking that hope away from them. Just say what you want to ****ing say from the start.


----------



## peachypeach

I want to kill myself and can't for two people. Me n him.

F everyone else. I can barely love the anger is that bad.

I really want to die I'm so mad, I still can't... but hey I want to. I really want to.

Quran says no one can read the future how come I know a dead person saw my life


----------



## megsy00

Devastated.


----------



## jsmith92

megsy00 said:


> Devastated.


What happened?


----------



## Bawsome

pretty good man thanks


----------



## probably offline

Like **** under a pile of ****, slowly being compressed into a stiff, lifeless piece of turd-rock.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Anxious. I feel as if I've been rejected, but having to wait for more than a few minutes for a response text always causes this response in me. It feels as if I'm having mental cramps.


----------



## Bawsome

probably offline said:


> Like **** under a pile of ****, slowly being compressed into a stiff, lifeless piece of turd-rock.


And soon to be poo diamond


----------



## probably offline

Bawsome said:


> And soon to be poo diamond












diarrheamond


----------



## AllieG

Extremely tired... *goes to bed*


----------



## jsmith92

People tell me I'm "really" attractive but I don't believe it. I think I'm an ugly turd. No girls want to talk to me. How can you be attractive if no girls ever want to talk to you?


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonably OK. .... not too bad. trying to be optimistic today.


----------



## shelbster18

Excited. Can't wait to buy my mom a gift. I'm going to do that before we meet Thursday. I think I'll buy me something while I'm out. I already texted her earlier and told her I have a surprise. I couldn't wait any longer.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I bit groggy/frail. I need to eat, exercise, & shower


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonably OK.


----------



## Citrine

Kinda nervous...so I guess its a date tonight? I'd prefer not to call it that though...just to ease my mind. :afr


----------



## CWe

irritated


----------



## Teflondon

Citrine said:


> Kinda nervous...so I guess its a date tonight? I'd prefer not to call it that though...just to ease my mind. :afr


Chin up, that's exciting. 

I'm doing well, feeling very relaxed for the first time in ages. It's inexplicable though, no reason for it. But hey, I'll take it.


----------



## artynerd

kind of sad about my family problem. my dad is ill again this time its quite severe and long term. I have a horrible mother who does bad things to us and it does make me wish I was never born. I think my dad married a wrong woman. Anyways, I probably gotten used to it through the years of verbal torture by my mum. She really enjoys abusing me verbally and making me feel like crap but this time she didnt got to me because after 10 years, I am stronger but still not feel like living anyways. I feel like I should die soon.


----------



## brothersport

indifferent, at the moment


----------



## shelbster18

Good but hungry. Trying not to eat much.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Heavy. Not as in overweight, but emotionally heavy.


----------



## zomgz

Still stoned even after almost 10 hours. That edible was insane but I definitely overdosed! Waiting for it to start getting light out so I can go longboarding. Also came to the realization that my cause of death will be from blood loss. I can't seem to stop hurting myself. Self-harm is such an evil thing.


----------



## probably offline

zomgz said:


> Still stoned even after almost 10 hours. That edible was insane. Waiting for it to start getting light out so I can go longboarding. Also came to the realization that my cause of death will be from blood loss. I can't seem to stop hurting myself. Self-harm is such an evil thing.


;( :squeeze

---

A bit stressed out. I have a test tomorrow. I've been studying and stuffing my face with chocolate all day.


----------



## zomgz

probably offline said:


> ;( :squeeze
> 
> ---
> 
> A bit stressed out. I have a test tomorrow. I've been studying and stuffing my face with chocolate all day.


Thank you for the hugs. 

Also, the best way to study is definitely with chocolate!


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonably oK again.


----------



## bancho1993

I've been a lot better as I've been feeling really down after going to a terrible party. It's frustrating that my anxiety got so bad that I could not talk to anyone. It's starting to make me doubt that I've got any better in the last few years.



probably offline said:


> ;( :squeeze
> 
> ---
> 
> A bit stressed out. I have a test tomorrow. I've been studying and stuffing my face with chocolate all day.


Ahh good luck with the test.

Hope it goes well.


----------



## Silere

Feeling down today.


----------



## probably offline

zomgz said:


> Thank you for the hugs.
> 
> Also, the best way to study is definitely with chocolate!


I have more, so you can just pick up some more anytime you need it from my hug storage :>

Indeed. I don't think I can get any more in me now, though, but I'll try(who am I kidding, of course I can eat more).



bancho1993 said:


> Ahh good luck with the test.
> 
> Hope it goes well.


Thank you!


----------



## typemismatch

very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very i can't decide what.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bitter. I can't find anything to smile about today & I'm not even sure why I'm awake


----------



## slyfox

Down


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Not good


----------



## Bawsome

lonesome


----------



## akari

Lonely. Even though I'm socially awkward, I could do with some company right now


----------



## LolaViola

Blah and poopy


----------



## Fairykins

Frustrated. I want to drink and have fun on new years with other people and friends, doubting it actually happening.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## Nitrogen

))))))))))))))))))))))))):


----------



## thomasjune

Tired and frustrated


----------



## jsmith92

Seeing myself from a 3rd person view like a freak. A zombie walking.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Warm in that kind of uncomfortable way


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Empty and unsatisfied.


----------



## Perkins

Bored.


----------



## Anjelliex

I feel crappy. I have been ill for over 2 months (very bad side effects from medictation)
Then I had very bad tummy ache (I couldn't even stand up D:
And now I haven't slept in 6 days and I feel so weird. I'm no longer tired.. I'm just really spaced out. ;-; One bad thing after the other D:<


----------



## LoneWolf14

Feeling depressed/numb. Girl I've been wanting to get with is finally single. I started to make a move but then I start thinking how it'll never work out with my sad like in the past


----------



## To22

My sleepy high...
gone.

Thanks, Obama.


----------



## PandaBearx

Too depressed to talk to anyone. I can't feel anything...


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy & weak. I need to eat big & get the blood flowing before work in a few hours


----------



## Andras96

Worthless. Who am I kidding, I am worthless. That's why people ignore me.


----------



## shelbster18

A little nervous. My mom told me that my dad wants me over for Christmas next week. :/ I'm not sure if I should go or not. My family is going to be there. But something makes me think he's going to have a talk with me in private about things, which makes me think I shouldn't go. I should ask my bf's aunt her opinion about this. My bf thinks I shouldn't go and yet I'm still thinking about going. :S


----------



## thomasjune

shelbster18 said:


> A little nervous. My mom told me that my dad wants me over for Christmas next week. :/ I'm not sure if I should go or not. My family is going to be there. But something makes me think he's going to have a talk with me in private about things, which makes me think I shouldn't go. I should ask my bf's aunt her opinion about this. My bf thinks I shouldn't go and yet I'm still thinking about going. :S


Sorry but the hell with what your bf or his aunt thinks. They probably wont be around when you really need them. If you want to spend Christmas with your family then you should.


----------



## shelbster18

thomasjune said:


> Sorry but the hell with what your bf or his aunt thinks. They probably wont be around when you really need them. If you want to spend Christmas with your family then you should.


It's more personal than that. :S My dad has done some things to me so it makes me think I shouldn't go. My sis told me that my dad doesn't want her there. :/ I don't know if he actually told her that or if she thinks that or what. So I might not go. I just wanted to make everyone happy but guess it can't be that easy.


----------



## momentsunset

Angry. Angry at myself and angry at other people for being the ****ed up way they are.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

a little sleepy....... i fell asleep after dinner and woke up feeling a bit groggy.... but otherwise ok.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A mixture of boredom/laziness/chilly


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Worried...


----------



## jsmith92

Depressed, Lost, Sad, Worthless, Miserable.


----------



## SofaKing

Good old fashioned poopiness.


----------



## Fairykins

Sad and alone.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit warm & restless


----------



## MiMiK

love you blue moon :love2


----------



## SofaKing

KyleInSTL said:


> Good old fashioned poopiness.


Downgraded to crappy, upset, sad and confused.

Where will the day lead? Who knows.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

ok I suppose....have actually been happy the last couple days.


----------



## gamerkid72

Lonely and isolated.

I feel like everyone is against me. The only thing I do now outside of my house is Hockey. 

I'm trying not to flunk out of school.


----------



## thomasjune

I'm feeling pretty good right now. I'm sure it wont last long tho...


----------



## Nekomata

Relaxed~ not too happy about having to start work early though.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Chilly. Even with layers & hot tea it's sinks into you over the hours


----------



## shelbster18

I'm confused. I'm wondering why my dad wants me over for Christmas. Maybe he changed. Just have to figure out a way to see my family for the holidays.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I was feeling unusually good for a little while earlier, but I'm back to feeling crappy.


----------



## Fairykins

Gross, guilty and slightly disgusted with myself.


----------



## Lacking Serotonin

Panicky and desperate


----------



## TabbyTab

Gross


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, lazy & wanting to avoid going into work


----------



## SofaKing

Bad that I'll probably follow up my hour on the elliptical with eating crap for dinner.


----------



## Charmeleon

feel & look like crap today


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Meh. Kind of nervous but not too bad.


----------



## brothersport

dejected, but at the same time hopeful.


----------



## shelbster18

Good after taking my Adderall. I only have like six left. I've had them for months and quit taking them for awhile. Have to go see the doctor so they can give me some free Adderall. It probably won't exactly be free but I'm sure there's a way to get them really cheap since I'm kind of poor now.


----------



## Violet Romantic

Mildly sassy!


----------



## tea111red

ick. i'd kind of like to get on medication again so i can feel in control. no insurance, though.


----------



## Slippin Jimmy

High.


----------



## Charmeleon

RadnessaurousRex said:


> feel & look like crap today


And now I'm constipated xD


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Bored & sad.


----------



## purechaos

Annoyed because I can't sleep


----------



## Charmeleon

Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy...zzzzzzzzzzz


----------



## goku23

fed up


----------



## Wagnerian

goku23 said:


> fed up


Same, I hate this holiday, why am I expected to get people I don't really like gifts with money I can't really spend? And my mom called one place that I got a present for my brother from and told them to increase the order...on MY debit card......wtf is wrong with her?

In short, %#ck Christmas.


----------



## SofaKing

It's a better day at my new work. Feeling more competent.


----------



## megsy00

I'm feeling super tired but I'm determined to stay awake all day so maybe just maybe I will sleep good tonight !?


----------



## ImBrittany

paranoid


----------



## eveningbat

Lonely as usual.


----------



## PhilipJ

got a smart new haircut. short back/sides with a brillcream'd front - looks sharp.

i feel a bit better than the last time i was here.


----------



## slyfox

Very sick. Lightheaded and nauseous


----------



## Nekomata

Relaxed, tired, hungry~


----------



## peachypeach

just stfu and get real ... is how i'm feeling.


----------



## Marv1991

Paranoid and anxious


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Slightly chilly, a bit bored, & a bit anxious at work


----------



## NeverAFrown_00

Almost suicidal.


----------



## Quirky

Content and blank


----------



## LoneWolf14

Warn out, woke up with bad an anxiety and had a meltdown at work. Never experienced anything that bad before..


----------



## Andras96

Alone.


----------



## Charmeleon

Sooo bored!!!

Sucks not having anyone to talk to or hangout with :/


----------



## NiceGuyFinishesLast

No inspiration towards life.


----------



## BackToThePast

Always feel like something's missing right before I go to bed. Like intimacy. Yeah, it's probably intimacy. At least I can pretend in my dreams.


----------



## SilentLyric

RadnessaurousRex said:


> Sooo bored!!!
> 
> Sucks not having anyone to talk to or hangout with :/


yep :blank. sigh.


----------



## Cuban FL Cracker

I'm feeling down. Just thinking about how my family members and I never really talk to each other except for special occasions. It isn't like we're all great buddies or anything like the Kardashian family are. I'm also thinking about how I don't have any friends to hang out with and how I haven't made any personal friends since I moved to this town I'm living in. I used to have a lot of friends but we all just grew apart and created different life paths. The girl I'm in love with and was friends with since the first grade married another guy so we can't talk anymore.

It's just my mom and I but we don't get along too well so it's just me in the world pretty much...

I feel worried that I'm going to be destined to a life of loneliness.


----------



## Farcical Dreamer

sad and alone


----------



## Farcical Dreamer

teary-eyed


----------



## Charmeleon

Depressed but whatever I guess


----------



## jsmith92

depressed and have an immense amount of self hatred that is growing every second


----------



## millenniumman75

Exhausted!


----------



## Blue Dino

Feeling good. This is probably the most eventful Xmas weekend I have for a while. New Years on the other hand.. not looking so good so far.


----------



## CWe

Very tired and exhausted


----------



## TheEchoingGreen

Blindly jealous.


----------



## AussiePea

So full, blarggggg


----------



## Mikko

Been feeling down because I remembered bad things that my ex-friends said to other people. I'm glad that they didn't listen to them. But yeah, I felt really, really down and afraid to meet my school friends. I NEED A HUG! :'(


----------



## jsmith92

I hate Christmas. it sucks.


----------



## LoneWolf14

Not sure how I feel, I hate when people talk to me but this Christmas hardly anyone notices me. Usually I would be happy but today I feel kind of depressed


----------



## cj66

sad


----------



## TryingMara

Scared, stressed.


----------



## jsmith92

Someone please end my pain.


----------



## shiningknight

Bored, like always.

Even playing a game I've been wanting to play forever is kind of boring to me now.


----------



## Blue Dino

Very liquored up from a xmas party earlier, and drinking more after getting home. Hope I don't have a bad bm tomorrow from the liquor.


----------



## uffi

Bored, and even gaming doesn't help. :X


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I little tired but happy to be up early watching the Boxing Day footy matches


----------



## FujiApple

Incredibly restless and under the belief I'm in need of quiet reflection. And desperately trying to not let it all become part of a new years resolution farce.


----------



## thomasjune

Stressed, tired. want to be left alone.


----------



## shelbster18

Disappointed. My mother ended up not picking me up for the Christmas party.  I'm never speaking to her again. I don't deserve to get treated the way I do. I'm sick and tired of making my famuly happy to prove I love them. If my mothet cared about me, she would do anything to see me. She yelled at me on the phone because she didn't want to have to come get me. I'm done with her. I'm not even a family person anyways. I'm moving on.


----------



## Nekomata

Relaxed, tired, tiny niggling at my mind about tomorrow though, curse working on a saturday so early...


----------



## redstar312

Depressed.


----------



## meandernorth

Mixed. Wanted 2015 to have real hope.


----------



## diamondheart89

Head hurts. Class at 8 AM. Bleh.


----------



## LoneWolf14

Besides my horrible cold I had the best day in months.

Listen to what happen to me. Might help you out.

Today I acquired some Adderal and took about 50 mg an went to work. A month ago when I was more mentally stable that would have be feeling good, but today I felt normal with a mood boost. After 3 weeks at my new job as a dish washer (because I didnt wanna deal with people) my fellow employees finally heard my voice almost enough to make up for the last couple days of 0 communication. 

With my depression uplifted my social anxiety and paranoia decreased a fair amount. Feeling confident from the Adderal I started admiring questions on stuff u should've learned a long time ago. Met all the employees and got there names. Talked enough to 75% of them to know a little about them. 

What I realized was no one judged me. I was treated great by everyone, no one is judging or looking down on me like I always imagine. I realized all my habits like rubbing chin or eye when anxious. Or saying kidding right after something to not offend someone. I noticed most my problems and fixed them and realized my fears of people is all in my head. 

Tldr: drugged up went to work talked to everyone found and fixed my anxiety.

I do not condone street medicating and suggesting you do it. Sharing my experience in hope to help you.


----------



## jsmith92

LoneWolf14 said:


> Besides my horrible cold I had the best day in months.
> 
> Listen to what happen to me. Might help you out.
> 
> Today I acquired some Adderal and took about 50 mg an went to work. A month ago when I was more mentally stable that would have be feeling good, but today I felt normal with a mood boost. After 3 weeks at my new job as a dish washer (because I didnt wanna deal with people) my fellow employees finally heard my voice almost enough to make up for the last couple days of 0 communication.
> 
> With my depression uplifted my social anxiety and paranoia decreased a fair amount. Feeling confident from the Adderal I started admiring questions on stuff u should've learned a long time ago. Met all the employees and got there names. Talked enough to 75% of them to know a little about them.
> 
> What I realized was no one judged me. I was treated great by everyone, no one is judging or looking down on me like I always imagine. I realized all my habits like rubbing chin or eye when anxious. Or saying kidding right after something to not offend someone. I noticed most my problems and fixed them and realized my fears of people is all in my head.
> 
> Tldr: drugged up went to work talked to everyone found and fixed my anxiety.
> 
> I do not condone street medicating and suggesting you do it. Sharing my experience in hope to help you.


Don't take meds if you haven't been prescribed them.


----------



## LoneWolf14

jsmith92 said:


> Don't take meds if you haven't been prescribed them.


I know I shouldn't and definitely don't encourage anyone to do unprescribed drugs. With my reason for taking them an my mind set it has helped me solve a lot of problems. I'm not an abuser either.

Happy late Holiday!


----------



## jsmith92

LoneWolf14 said:


> I know I shouldn't and definitely don't encourage anyone to do unprescribed drugs. With my reason for taking them an my mind set it has helped me solve a lot of problems. I'm not an abuser either.
> 
> Happy late Holiday!


Were you prescribed them?


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored & Restless at work


----------



## LoneWolf14

jsmith92 said:


> Were you prescribed them?


No, I made it all clear in my post. Don't wanna argue finally in a good mood after months from what I learned today. Let me enjoy this happiness.

I know its wrong jssmith92. Don't have to tell that. Just asking you respect my decisions.


----------



## redstar312

Full of hatred for myself.


----------



## LoneWolf14

redstar312 said:


> Full of hatred for myself.


Don't hold it in the you can't escape it, it'll get you in the end. Talk to someone about it, make amends and move forward.


----------



## jsmith92

LoneWolf14 said:


> Don't hold it in the you can't escape it, it'll get you in the end. Talk to someone about it, make amends and move forward.


I've held it in for 2 years now. I'm so screwed up I can't even begin to tell you. No girl is ever going to want to be with me because I am ****ed up and mentally unstable.


----------



## LoneWolf14

jsmith92 said:


> I've held it in for 2 years now. I'm so screwed up I can't even begin to tell you. No girl is ever going to want to be with me because I am ****ed up and mentally unstable.


I was there and now recovering, pinning stuff up long time eats away till you blow and bad stuff happens. I cracked an talked to a friend about stuff. Felt better almost instantly. Able to forget most stuff and start recovering. Ever run into anything now I'll talk about it before I pin it up an cause a chain reaction. Talking to real life friends would best


----------



## jsmith92

LoneWolf14 said:


> I was there and now recovering, pinning stuff up long time eats away till you blow and bad stuff happens. I cracked an talked to a friend about stuff. Felt better almost instantly. Able to forget most stuff and start recovering. Ever run into anything now I'll talk about it before I pin it up an cause a chain reaction. Talking to real life friends would best


I don't like to hang out with people because I find it to be inconvenient for me. Therefore the only time I really see "friends" is at school during lunch or in class where I am definitely not going to talk about it because someone that I don't want to know about it could overhear it and that would be bad.


----------



## LoneWolf14

jsmith92 said:


> I don't like to hang out with people because I find it to be inconvenient for me. Therefore the only time I really see "friends" is at school during lunch or in class where I am definitely not going to talk about it because someone that I don't want to know about it could overhear it and that would be bad.


I use to never talk in check out lines cause I didn't wanna be judged or heard. With my experience from earlier my anxiety was almost non existent. I realised how easy it was to come up with stuff to talk about. Makes it a lot funner then being afraid of what to say an assuming they think the worst.

forgot to mention in above post was today I actually looked alive and socialized for first time at work. I was give an easy job where I deliver different plates and bowls to different spots in a crowded reatraunt. Did it with little to no anxiety. And realized when I didn't know where something went if I asked people they helped me when I always imagine them giving me a look of I'm an idiot. Started a conversation with most and got everyone's name. Even talked to the managers and got to know them. Ended up helping me clean up end of the day. When i would normally think he's gonna yell cause I'm holding him up.

Last part. Since I was going out into the front I had to wear a hat. Being on the smaller side the hat was a little big. I felt like I had a mushroom on my head one of the employees that work in my section said I looked gay or something. Instead of going back to my station feeling beat down I stood up for myself and talked to him. Hear he just wanted to talk to me and was trying to start conversation with a joke. Realised people were trying to talk to me. My fault not talking to them.

Hopefully you guys understand what I'm saying an make use of it. Just trying to show everyone most of the things we think happen to us are in our heads.


----------



## jsmith92

LoneWolf14 said:


> I use to never talk in check out lines cause I didn't wanna be judged or heard. With my experience from earlier my anxiety was almost non existent. I realised how easy it was to come up with stuff to talk about. Makes it a lot funner then being afraid of what to say an assuming they think the worst.
> 
> forgot to mention in above post was today I actually looked alive and socialized for first time at work. I was give an easy job where I deliver different plates and bowls to different spots in a crowded reatraunt. Did it with little to no anxiety. And realized when I didn't know where something went if I asked people they helped me when I always imagine them giving me a look of I'm an idiot. Started a conversation with most and got everyone's name. Even talked to the managers and got to know them. Ended up helping me clean up end of the day. When i would normally think he's gonna yell cause I'm holding him up.
> 
> Last part. Since I was going out into the front I had to wear a hat. Being on the smaller side the hat was a little big. I felt like I had a mushroom on my head one of the employees that work in my section said I looked gay or something. Instead of going back to my station feeling beat down I stood up for myself and talked to him. Hear he just wanted to talk to me and was trying to start conversation with a joke. Realised people were trying to talk to me. My fault not talking to them.
> 
> Hopefully you guys understand what I'm saying an make use of it. Just trying to show everyone most of the things we think happen to us are in our heads.


I'm too screened up to be fixed it doesn't matter at this point.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lightly buzzed


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly fine


----------



## Nekomata

Tired, and this cold is... ugh. Hopefully lots and lots of whisky will solve those problems.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Meh. Kind of okay, I guess. Somewhat empty though.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Reggae


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Empty + sad. The usual.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Chilly/sick/bored


----------



## SilentLyric

forever in unrequited, shallow wub.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sick, lazy, hungry, anxious


----------



## Slippin Jimmy

Not great.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

still sick, still lazy


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonably ok, but I am annoyed because i felt slight anxiety earlier. over NOTHING at all.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

sad.


----------



## Gihren

Annoyed


----------



## Charmeleon

Just...sad ;(


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored/restless at work


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Morning drunk


----------



## eveningbat

There is a lump in the throat.


----------



## kivi

Sleepy


----------



## Cuban FL Cracker

Sad and nostalgic. I miss her and the way things used to be. It sucks to know that those days are gone forever.


----------



## Charmeleon

I feel like..Jabba The Hutt.


----------



## blue2

RadnessaurousRex said:


> I feel like..Jabba The Hutt.


Why whats up RadRex ...?


----------



## forgetmylife

depressed and tired


----------



## megsy00

Dehydrated, tired, headache


----------



## jsmith92

megsy00 said:


> Dehydrated, tired, headache


Lol. I know that feeling. I get dehydrated from laying in bed all day and forgetting to drink water because I'm so depressed.


----------



## jcastaway

terrible,anxoius, depressed, i have a huge itch to text him but I might regret it


----------



## Canadian Brotha

That after work unwinding feeling


----------



## Quirky

Mixed feelings: glad that my brother's and his wife are visiting for a week, but I realize just how limited life can be. I did _some_ stuff to improve and fulfill myself throughout my years at college, yet there's always an element in my experiences that tells me I could've contributed to more discussions or I could've managed your time better. Might as well work on some drastic resolutions this year, knowing that I have one last semester of university left. : |


----------



## AceEmoKid

Like I just casually sauntered into an iron fist. ****ing hell. ****ing, ****ing bloody hell.

Strange to feel mad and anxious and trapped again. Those extreme feelings have been strangers to me until this bitter reunion. 

Hello, pain and confusion.


----------



## thisismeyo

Im feeling anxious. Idk why


----------



## ShatteredGlass

*shrugs*

pretty much fine. a bit hungry and jittery though.


----------



## oshuway

not much of anything, really. haven't felt much in a few days. not sure if it's good or bad, which is probably a whole lot better than others.


----------



## shelbster18

I'm going insane. I don't get how my bf would rather pay more attention to his nine year old brother and his friend than me. He ignores me most of the time and I feel like I'm being mentally abused. I just give him the silent treatment a lot so he can get a taste of his own medicine. I try to be myself around him and always talk but he doesn't seem interestes most of the time. It's like I'm invisible. I try not to yell at him and I have a few times. I can't take this bull****. I need to leave. I always have this urge to start a fight. Fighting doesn't help with his quick temper. I was told by several of his family members that it's messed up the way I get treated by hum. But with the ****ing situation I'm in, I have to wait awhile before I leave. It just makes me want to drink. I swear.


----------



## Andras96

I'm fed up. My existence is entirely pointless. Nobody barely gives a **** about me. People would rather cast me out like some monstrosity. Everyday I just sit here, reloading pages over and over. Yet, other people live it up; these people have no clue what it feels like to barely have anyone to talk to. These people don't know what it feels like to feel unwanted... to feel like their presence serves no meaning. Why couldn't my mother just have a freakin' abortion? WHY?!!


----------



## GetOutOfMyHouse

Like a pariah


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Somewhat sad, but not really. It's like a feeling of emptiness that manifests itself as chronic dissatisfaction. Nothing seems to be "enough". I've learnt about the concept of the happiness equilibrium, and mine seems to be "just okay". A high quickly wears off and I'm back to my usual generally slightly sad state. I pursue "highs" but they feel incomplete. Like an orgasm that feels good, but the emotional aspect of pure enjoyment isn't there. It's just empty pleasure.

Ever so empty.


----------



## calichick

I'm feeling like foreplay will be the death of humanity.


No
F***ing
Foreplay

Just get on top of me, get it in and get it out, I don't have time for this bullcrap, you saw me "naked behind a closed door"

L-o-l I can't, it's too much.


----------



## thevenacava

Depressed because I suddenly realized (again) how unattractive I am. How does this happen? One moment I feel passable, and then I feel disgusted by my own reflection. Ridiculous. 

Other than that, I am okay. I will be leaving for school soon.


----------



## PhilipJFry

I have no idea what I'm doing.


----------



## Fairykins

really hot and gross. I don't like summer, especially Australian summer. It's brutal D:


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious, I need to make a call


----------



## CWe

Sluggish and gloomy :/


----------



## slyfox

Neutral


----------



## Charmeleon

I feel like...one of those dogs from that sad commercial with the Sarah Mclachlan song.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lonesome


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Like there is absolutely no hope for me ever fitting in.


----------



## Chieve

tired but decent...but out of shape because i need to go back to the gym


----------



## TabbyTab

Anxious/ worried


----------



## Improbable

Lonely and scared.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Hello? Is anybody there? Are you real?

I feel rather alone. I can't go to anybody to vent about how I feel. I imagined how I'd feel if they vented to me, and I came to the conclusion that I'd be confused and wouldn't know what to say. I'd try to provide reassurance, but I feel that reassurance doesn't seem to be enough. It's really nothing but an empty filler to a one sided conversation. 

I'm in an invisible prison, held back from the relationships I earnestly desire in the deepest fathoms of my heart. It's that familiar feeling from childhood; being left behind without a second thought. That's a terrible feeling and I'd hate to inflict it into anybody. I've experienced it along with bullying in my childhood that made me feel ever so alone.

When I was getting bullied, nobody did anything. Nobody seemed to understand and as a result, I downplayed my problems; doing that didn't halt or hamper the process of my gradual emotional demise throughout 5th and 6th grade. I had frequent fantasies of murdering and gaining social and emotional control over the perpetrator.

I think this is partly the result of the state I am in right now.

Why don't people understand me? I'm at a whole different level to seemingly everybody I'm exposed to.


----------



## Losti

^ 'Invisible prison' is a really good way of describing it. I am right here if you want to talk. If you really need someone to listen, please feel at ease to PM me.

Incredibly down and sad, lots of sorrow and gloom with a bit of helplessness. Lots of guilt and pain too over my actions recently. But I'm just so relieved I am coming to understand a lot of my problems and be really aware of them over the last couple months thanks to both people with really good and really bad intentions. I'm trying hard to be optimistic, but the bit that makes me want to break down even harder is not knowing how to address and fix these problems. I want my real self and my identity back. It feels like I'm disguised in a robe I don't want for all eternity.


----------



## kivi

Empty


----------



## Zack

Low, tired and like harming myself.


----------



## RubixQ

That all I want is for people to like me and it isn't working.


----------



## gamingpup

The people around me tell me too cut, that it helps. I know the science behind it. My morals won't let me though... This body was given to me by my parents, who am I to scar it? My existence isnt mine to throw away, I can't do that.


----------



## SofaKing

Feeling like I'm hanging by a thread and someone else has the scissors.


----------



## Charmeleon

I feel like...one of those starving third world country kids cos I haven't eaten anything nor do I plan to for the next few days.


----------



## zomgz

RadnessaurousRex said:


> I feel like...one of those starving third world country kids cos I haven't eaten anything nor do I plan to for the next few days.


Hm... you alright? Why aren't you going to eat?


----------



## Charmeleon

zomgz said:


> Hm... you alright? Why aren't you going to eat?


I'm okay, I water fast every now and then to test myself


----------



## zomgz

RadnessaurousRex said:


> I'm okay, I water fast every now and then to test myself


Ahh okay. Be safe.


----------



## blue2

I may need water fast diet, I could do with losing 25lbs, I'm starting some exercise this week again no more delay


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Nitrogen said:


> what even is the point


ikr


----------



## Slippin Jimmy

I feel like crying.


----------



## SilentLyric

a little bit better. I think that apple did the trick.


----------



## PlayerOffGames

everything's good


----------



## momentsunset

Somewhat anxious. I feel like I should be meeting goals faster than I am..


----------



## PlayerOffGames

momentsunset said:


> Somewhat anxious. I feel like I should be meeting goals faster than I am..


 what kinda goals?


----------



## Nicole G

better than I have been


----------



## Fairykins

Like I really need a hug ._.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

awake


----------



## Therin

I'm feeling fantastic and I don't even know why! I'm trying to be productive. I hope this feeling lasts!


----------



## Quirky

Slightly wary and somewhat buzzed.


----------



## slyfox

Very tired


----------



## SilentLyric

Alcadaeus said:


> A mild hangover


edit: I remind myself that "soon it shall pass." until the next hangover.

the last hangover I had was definitely not mild.


----------



## kivi

Bored


----------



## undyingUmbrage

kinda happy bc its my birthday and i got some presents


----------



## KILOBRAVO

today,. I felt actually HAPPY. and a bit energetic, and no anxious thoughts at all. where the hell has this came from?. and hope to god it lasts.


----------



## eveningbat

KILOBRAVO said:


> today,. I felt actually HAPPY. and a bit energetic, and no anxious thoughts at all. where the hell has this came from?. and hope to god it lasts.


Cool! I am glad for you! :squeeze


----------



## KILOBRAVO

eveningbat said:


> Cool! I am glad for you! :squeeze


oh well. it would be nice if some of that positive could rub off onto you ... :squeeze...


----------



## Therin

undyingUmbrage said:


> kinda happy bc its my birthday and i got some presents


happy birthday!!!


----------



## eveningbat

KILOBRAVO said:


> oh well. it would be nice if some of that positive could rub off onto you ... :squeeze...


Thank you. You are so kind.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

~ As though in the end everyone I encounter is somehow cleverer than I
~ A bit spaced out from 2 days of straight herb vaporizing & poor sleep
~ Hungry & in need of a shower


----------



## coeur_brise

Feeling good, better. I'm actually glad I got a cold and sore throat because I can focus on body rather than on an insufferable mind.


----------



## eveningbat

Jeff271 said:


> okay.. these meds make me extra horny. I found some good chocolate.


Which chocolate?


----------



## Rickets

Kinda crap...first time for the year I've felt pretty down.


----------



## undyingUmbrage

Therin said:


> happy birthday!!!


thanks c:


----------



## Fairykins

Annoyed


----------



## Pidge11

feeling a bit down and i don't know why :afr


----------



## Nicole G

Starting to get worse again.


----------



## probably offline

Stressed out about my current situation. ****ty, in general.


----------



## Batcat

Bored, being NEET is boring as f*** sometimes, still too lazy/anxious to get a job though.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

MOSTLY oK. but by lower back has been stiff and sore all day. I think i slept ion a wrong posture .


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy, chilly


----------



## estse

Like blablalblblblalg.s,sagl,sdh;lmshf;mlsfhlkmnl


----------



## ShatteredGlass

bleh.

fine, i guess.


----------



## BackToThePast

I want to volunteer as tribute for The Joker's pencil disappearing trick.


----------



## CWe

Irritated


----------



## Violet Romantic

Bloody exhausted! Still need to finish my paper, though. :/


----------



## Daylight

Fat.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious about this meet up happening shortly


----------



## shelbster18

Relieved. I got news earlier that my sis was in the hospital because she got in a car wreck. I was freaking out but she called to let me know she was okay. She just got banged up a bit on her knees I think. Just wish I could have gone to go see her. I thought something bad happened at first. My heart was beating fast.


----------



## MiMiK

i am craving cheese cake like i have never before!


----------



## Charmeleon

I feel like...that one Tove Lo song that always plays on the radio, Habits (Stay High) :/


----------



## SofaKing

Like a **** pie, topped with a whipped **** cream dropped in **** and sprinkles.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Kind of excited, but in a very mild way. I guess it's clouded by a small layer of anxiety.


----------



## SilentLyric

Anduin said:


> Bored, being NEET is boring as f***, still too lazy/anxious to get a job though.


my job makes me want to be a NEET.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A little overly warm with a slight headache from a lack of proper sleep. Also in need of a round of exercise & stretching. Not quite sure on my mood yet, could easily swing to annoyed but the exercise might help that


----------



## KILOBRAVO

little unsettled , slightly anxious.


----------



## Andras96

Why? Why the **** did my parents have me?!!


----------



## NEED TO BE FREE




----------



## Lonelyguy111

*I Feel Wretched Right Now*

Lonely. :lurk
Depressed. :cry
Terrified. :afr
Worried. 
Humiliated. :hide
Frustrated. :bash
and....
Angry.  :mum

:flush


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored/restless at work


----------



## estse

Ecstatic to not care about anyone or anything!!!!! Yes YESE YES EYESSS!!!!


----------



## jlscho03

Down in the dumps. I really miss an old friend from high school. He was the closest I ever had to a boyfriend. I just really miss him. I've sent a couple of e-mails over the years (not too many to be bothersome). We had left on bad terms, we both severed the friendship, and I guess it's over.

I'm just feeling lonely. We had had a lot in common, and I haven't met anyone else and now I'm just sad. I wish we still talked...

(I actually cried typing this - I'm an emotional wreck)


----------



## Charmander

Lonely, I should've appreciated life more 3 years ago. I don't even have any real friends anymore. I wish I at least had a sibling.


----------



## Catty

I just had a little bowl of honey loops and still feel hungry.


----------



## TheEchoingGreen

Nostalgic.


----------



## Starrii

It's 3am and I can't stop thinking. 
I don't even really know how I'm feeling. Just meh.


----------



## TenYears

Hopeless. I mean just, totally, completely...hopeless. Like I'm in a downward spiral, and I can see the ground rushing up to meet me faster and faster, and I'm screaming, but not out of fear, but because it's almost, finally over, and I'm realizing my whole, entire life has been a waste, and a disappointment to the few people I was close to, and I finally, finally won't be able to cause anyone or myself any more pain. Because I'm just broken. And all of it is almost, finally over. I wish. (no, I'm not suicidal). I just...wish.


----------



## forgetmylife

lonely, disappointed in myself, and financially distressed


----------



## pocketbird

Exhausted.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Kind of sad, but as usual -- not to the point of crying.

I just want to cry, but I don't feel it strongly enough.


----------



## Zyriel

Restless, mentally "cramped", fatigued yet not tired @[email protected]


----------



## danielwatson344

I've been feeling more positive lately. 
I think I might be becoming optimistic about the future. 
I really don't know how to process this. I'm typically so depressed that I'm miserable. 
However, lately, I think I might actually be a little happy.
It's like I don't even know myself anymore.
It's awesome.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Morning drunk


----------



## TryingMara

Exhausted.


----------



## CRAZYHeart

very depressed, anxious, hopeless , LONELY :/ !


----------



## shelbster18

I'm feeling good again. Yay. I got my late Christmas gifts a few days ago. My sister brought them over for me. She met my mom last week and my mom gave them to her to give to me. I wish she told me the night before that she was going to see my mom so I could set my alarm to go. But I got sixty dollars total from my aunt and grandparents, two bottles of lotion, an eye makeup set (my bf can use that since I barely wear makeup), two bottles of hand sanitizer with different scents, and a necklace. I was wanting another necklace. Glad I got one. I don't really use lotion but I can put it to good use using it to shave my legs. Lol I don't like shaving in the shower anyways. xD


----------



## Andras96

I feel like complete crap. I hate going out in public only to see people laughing, living it up. My hate for people has built up to an all time high and it's only going to get worse.


----------



## buklti

Barely hanging on. White knuckling it. When you are dealt a crappy hand, it's hard to play a decent game.


----------



## Charmeleon

I feel like...a burnt roasted tamale that was left in the oven for far too long lol... :/


----------



## hmweasley

A bit nervous since I start classes on Monday, and I hate going to classes for the first time. I'll probably be obsessing over it all day tomorrow even though I'm trying not to think about it.


----------



## oh no

Really scared. Trying not to think about what'll happen to me if I don't find a job by May. I feel like a lot is riding on my ability to move out right after graduation.


----------



## altghost

i didnt realize how useful a forum like this is. so many people-- it feels like something will come of your 2 cents, yet it also feels like it doesnt matter what you say because no one will see it, so who cares, go crazy
i remember one time, for a year, i felt really numb, to the core. it was also a bit scary to feel that way. sometimes i wish i could go back to that, sometimes i do remember it was frightening. indecisive nature, so it goes


----------



## ShatteredGlass

A little tense. :/

No idea why.


----------



## Bawsome

Today i am okay!


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i am mostly fine today again.


----------



## Charmeleon

I feel like...banning myself from here


----------



## Anjelliex

Frustrated


----------



## kivi

Bored again.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

The usual difficult to describe feeling. I guess vaguely sad is how you'd describe it. :/


----------



## bfs

Confused about life lol


----------



## Quirky

Nervous, now that my roommate is here, and anxious for first day of classes tomorrow


----------



## Simply

Tomorrow is the start of my second semester of college and I'm nervous! and a little bit.... excited. But I can't get rid of this pit I'm feeling, in my chest?


----------



## MoveAlong91

cafune said:


> I feel sick thinking about the number of things that I'm putting off right now. I don't know what I'm thinking. I've got **** to do but I just can't get myself to do any of it. My stomach won't stop swirling like a washing machine. Not good. This is not good at all.


I hope things better for you


----------



## MoveAlong91

Today I feel pretty good, at least. The only bad part of today is that I miss my ex being in my life so much. It's been four plus months since I told her to get out of my life. So, good, but a lot of reminiscing, man...


----------



## Cyzygy

Feeling pretty good 

Hope that some of you can find something positive to focus on.


----------



## laysiaj

Cyzygy said:


> Feeling pretty good
> 
> Hope that some of you can find something positive to focus on.


That's a lovely wish for us.


----------



## HenDoggy

RadnessaurousRex said:


> I feel like...banning myself from here


I feel like this as well.


----------



## SilentLyric

I crave food.


----------



## laysiaj

I feel worse than expected.
But that's okay. New day tomorrow!


----------



## AussiePea

laysiaj said:


> I feel worse than expected.
> But that's okay. New day tomorrow!


*sends feel better vibes*


----------



## HenDoggy

laysiaj said:


> I feel worse than expected.
> But that's okay. New day tomorrow!


But tomorrow is Monday though... I'll feel even worse.


----------



## Charmeleon

HenDoggy said:


> I feel like this as well.


Yeah guess I'm not trying hard enough cos I'm still here :/


----------



## laysiaj

Thanks @AussiePea, P.S. I miss you. 
HenDoggy, tomorrow is Monday!!! It's going to be an amazing Monday!


----------



## slyfox

Depressed


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Crappy about myself. :/


----------



## CRAZYHeart

hungry


----------



## slyfox

Like a failure and hungry


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly fine....... slightly sleepy. but after diner this is normal to feel slightly tired.


----------



## slyfox

Bored


----------



## Nekomata

Irritated. I really need to move out of my parents house asap.


----------



## Fairykins

Bitter but I have no idea what about. I think I'm just really tired.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Like an idiot. :/


----------



## Tibble

A bit lost. But that's nothing new.
Lack of motivation.
And I suck at this online friendship thing -_-


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly fine better than the other day for sure.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

RadnessaurousRex said:


> Pretty weak & light headed but other than that, surprisingly well for someone who hasn't eaten in almost two weeks.


Why haven't you eaten in two weeks? You should go eat.


----------



## bancho1993

Unmotivated


----------



## Nekomata

Tired and conflicted... I want to do things but... too lazy...


----------



## moonglum

Well, how am I feeling... 

Tired, I think. Since the last weekend, my sleeping disorders are back. I can go from insomnia (the most common) to hypersomnia from one day to the others. And when I wake up it always feels like I hadn't sleep.

Depressed, too. I've been thinking about the past year and, well, another wasted years... Even though I made few progress I still see how much I can be totally socially dysfonctional. It pains me to have nearly no one to share things with.


----------



## Ladysoul

Without lever.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

More sad than usual. I just want to cry, but as always, I can't.


----------



## slyfox

Tired


----------



## CWe

Very very irritated


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Cornered and hopeless.


----------



## loneranger

Very depressed. I've been emotionally attached to a few of my friends. Thought my social life was getting better.


----------



## shelbster18

Kind of pissed because I was told by everyone that I might be pregnant then told it was a joke yet I'm the crazy one for freaking out. That's not something to joke about. I don't plan on becoming trailer trash. :sus I'm wiser than that.


----------



## thomasjune

Very tired again. Just like every other day.


----------



## TryingMara

Humiliated, inept, trapped, like a failure.


----------



## False Protagonist

Lonely.


----------



## Ladysoul




----------



## Wren611

I have a headache, I'm hungry, and I'm cold. I feel like crap.


----------



## zomgz

Kelebek said:


>


This is pretty.


----------



## Sprocketjam

Feeling like I could beat you all at a thumb war.


----------



## lifeimpossible123

well


----------



## Steinerz

Hungry. Don't want to eat cause sick though.


----------



## django

I am feeling okay.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

One of those in between moods where I keep switching on a dime


----------



## TheWelshOne

Life would be so much easier if I listened to everyone else. They all know that I'm a monumental screw-up who can't do ****, why am I the last one to realize it?


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly Ok. but frustrated at some of the double standards that exist in to days society.


----------



## Andras96

Ill. Last night I realized that I scare people away more than I thought... even on this site. I give up.


----------



## Chess Piece

I feel _*nothing*_.

Nah just kidding I'm good. Bit bored though.


----------



## slyfox

Tired


----------



## jsmith92

Tired and emotionally numb but depressed at the same time.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

like inferior trash lol


----------



## ShatteredGlass

mostly invisible and hated by the people who actually see me


----------



## Malzin

I feel empty... My gf of almost a year broke up with my just before christmas and i cant possibly see myself with another ...


----------



## TabbyTab

Full of food


----------



## Charmeleon

Sad, just sad..oh and pretty hungry.


----------



## shiningknight

insecure and self conscious


----------



## Charmeleon

Still incredibly weak and light headed, pretty much feel like death. I wonder how much more of this I can take, guess I'll tap out once I pass out.


----------



## Flora20

I'm actually feeling pretty good today.


----------



## TryingMara

Scared, defeated.


----------



## sarahferreira

Very anxious and can't sleep once again -.- 
Feeling pretty awful.. but thanks for the cute pics.


----------



## kivi

I feel good.


----------



## slyfox

Nauseous. Also all I ever want to do is sleep


----------



## waldorfs

So lonely. Can't help thinking that most of my problems would be so much easier to deal with if I were in a relationship.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

like scum


----------



## Ckg2011

I never asked to born, I never wanted to be born, I was born anyway because my parents wanted me, I still cannot figure out why I must go through all this useless B.S. just because they wanted a second child? 

I cannot find a job and even if I do it will be some low paying meaningless job where nobody respects me, all this because my parents wanted me. 

Well I want things too, why is it that everything is hard and people want me to pull myself up by my boot straps, but they allow anyone who wants too, to just have a child, makes no sense at all. 

Life is harder then it needs to be.


----------



## jsmith92

Ckg2011 said:


> I never asked to born, I never wanted to be born, I was born anyway because my parents wanted me, I still cannot figure out why I must go through all this useless B.S. just because they wanted a second child?
> 
> I cannot find a job and even if I do it will be some low paying meaningless job where nobody respects me, all this because my parents wanted me.
> 
> Well I want things too, why is it that everything is hard and people want me to pull myself up by my boot straps, but they allow anyone who wants too, to just have a child, makes no sense at all.
> 
> Life is harder then it needs to be.


If I had a choice I wouldn't of been born either. I'm a completely useless and worthless individual. I don't really even have friends...I only hang out with them when it is convenient for me and always make them come to me instead of me going to them. And the last time I hung out with them was a few months ago. I'm so useless. Maybe I'll get hit by a car and someone will end this hell. Otherwise I'm stuck like this for the rest of my life.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed, restless, tense


----------



## Flora20

I'm feeling kinda sad today for many reasons but trying to keep going and focus on good things in life


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly ok. i suppose.


----------



## Andras96

Defeated. Any motivation I had is now gone. Honestly, what's the point? Why worry so much how other people perceive me? If 99.9% of people dislike me regardless, then why put myself through so much stress?


----------



## RubixQ

Drained.


----------



## Omanomadingdong

Exhausted, can't sleep and I'm bored. It's 9:18 am and I have nothing to do.


----------



## Avesatani

i feel calm today.


----------



## Kevin001

Ok now, but lets see how long that will last.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly fine again.


----------



## Malek

Exhausted from work, my back and joints hurt. Bored and lonely. Normal day..


----------



## Charmeleon

bleh


----------



## pbandjam

Been feeling really depressed for the past few. Have suicidal thoughts. Can't do school work. Tired of the pain.


----------



## loneranger

I feel lonely and have anxiety and it's pouring outside. I need someone to talk to.


----------



## Zyriel

Can't tell if I'm hungry or not !


----------



## sad vlad

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooored!!!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed, depressed, anxious, broke


----------



## Flora20

I'm feeling really depressed, all the hard work I've done has been a waste of time it seems...just want this month to be over already


----------



## loneranger

At work. Disappointed with my social life, anxiety.


----------



## Joshboy1998

It's been a bad week, and my depression has taken a turn for the worse in the last few days.


----------



## megsy00

I'm feeling ok


----------



## savanh

Confused and frustrated. I really don't want to take pre-calculus, but I dread ASB even more. I'm not committed to do more homework my senior year and math is my weakest subject, plus I am not risking to fail a class right before graduating. With ASB on the other hand, I really don't want to deal with giving announcements, handling school activities and all that other jazz.


----------



## moonglum

Just woke up, feeling kinda bad. Shaking and having bad thoughts, feeling lonely and lost. Nice way to begin a new day... T_T


----------



## CWe

Pretty calm atm


----------



## Canadian Brotha

CWe said:


> Pretty calm atm


Likewise


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly fine I suppose. mood a little low. but otherwise not bad.


----------



## SilentLyric

fed up.


----------



## SofaKing

SilentLuke said:


> fed up.


Yup...that's going around.


----------



## thomasjune

I like Fridays so I'm feeling good today.


----------



## Charmeleon

Ehh...

Edit: ZZzzzzzzzzzz...


----------



## SofaKing

That to someone, death or loneliness is preferred to a life with me. Yup...feeling swell.


----------



## BillDauterive

I am feeling a bit more down since coming onto this forum just now. I keep seeing members here who have lives that I am so envious of and would be perfectly content to have, but they are miserable themselves. They have no clue how well they have it vs. me. If they could live a day in my shoes and then revert to their life the next day, they'd probably be totally happy and cured. :/ 

Yeah, yeah, we can't talk about "who has it worse, etc", blah blah freaking blah blah.


----------



## PlayerOffGames

so sad



BillDauterive said:


> I am feeling a bit more down since coming onto this forum just now. I keep seeing members here who have lives that I am so envious of and would be perfectly content to have, but they are miserable themselves. They have no clue how well they have it vs. me. If they could live a day in my shoes and then revert to their life the next day, they'd probably be totally happy and cured. :/
> 
> Yeah, yeah, we can't talk about "who has it worse, etc", blah blah freaking blah blah.


:squeeze


----------



## CWe

Weak and tired


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling pretty good. I feel bad about feeling good for those that are feeling bad though, so I desire to make them feel less bad, so that I can feel more good.

mwhahahaha! My evil plan, is to make others feel better, so I can rule supreme in my feeling of goodness. 

Okay, now I just feel eccentric, to put it kindly.


----------



## Kevin001

Depressed as usual


----------



## typemismatch

Roused!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, lazy, restless, bored, zoned out


----------



## redstar312

What's the point of living?


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly fine. a little sleepy maybe.


----------



## Joe

.


----------



## jsmith92

So anxious. I feel like my head is going to explode.


----------



## loneranger

A bit depressed, disappointed, and have anxiety.


----------



## jhwelch

Peaceful. I've been so bitter and melancholic for so long I feel euphoric in comparison


----------



## purplepeanuts

I'm feeling optimistic :yay


----------



## dal user

Feeling sh!t as always


----------



## slyfox

Like I might actually get a little done today. Somewhat tired too, so we'll see which wins


----------



## SofaKing

Like another day will pass me by as I hurtle towards the end. Pointless.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonable ok.


----------



## shiningknight

Bummed, I don't feel like going to work tonight.


----------



## SofaKing

I wish she wanted to come back to me.


----------



## AllieG

My head is a mess right now and so is my life. :c


----------



## Flora20

I'm a little tired but feeling okay today.


----------



## cj66

so lost


----------



## loneranger

Feeling better.


----------



## CWe

Irritated and angry


----------



## CWe

redstar312 said:


> What's the point of living?


Exactly


----------



## Avesatani

Feeling ok i guess.


----------



## kivi

Confused


----------



## TabbyTab

Hungry

I think I'm gonna make some pizza rolls


----------



## SilentLyric

like sad and stuff


----------



## Crisigv

hopeless


----------



## TryingMara

Relieved


----------



## purplepeanuts

A little lazy...


----------



## SofaKing

Incomplete


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry, restless, & spaced out


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Like ****. I'm riddled with a constant stream of unpleasant thoughts, minus the strong emotions that happen to be missing.

What's happening to me, exactly? Am I becoming depressed to the point of not feeling anything?

My thoughts are causing me distress and I want to release the emotions. Unfortunately, I can't cry. I don't feel enough for that. Like masturbation without climax, only worse. I'm starting to get urges to self harm again. It seems to be the only way to force out the ever bottling emotions within me. I don't want to bottle them up, but.. I can't.

I need help.


----------



## Avesatani

Strange i could say. And i don't have that bumpy/nasty feeling in my stomach which is good. Like i started to care less about everything and i'm ready to jump to the river and just float through the events that life brings...


----------



## Kevin001

Lost as always.


----------



## RubixQ

Repulsive.


----------



## Cmasch

like ****, yesterday i felt kind of alright though. But yeah today general ****tyness.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel miserable.


----------



## SofaKing

Is she ready to overcome her fears? I want her back in my life desperately, but she has to show it.


----------



## Flora20

Feel sad and alone well what's new anyways..


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Nervous about school tomorrow. I'm wondering what horrors I'll face tomorrow and in the subsequent days.

Lonely, too. :/ I effectively lost one of my only two irl 'friends' last night. It's not like we spoke much or had meaningful conversations, although it makes it so that I'm even more alone at school. Left to fend for my socially retarded self.

Somebody teach me the seemingly classified secrets to making friends.


----------



## srschirm

Pretty darn well.


----------



## Andras96

I feel like a freak of nature. There is just no other way to put it. I ****ing scare people away before they even want to get to know me. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of my existence, I just want it to finally end.

Screw this, I never asked for this existence. The hell with all of this!!!


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Anxious to go to my next class. I still can't believe today has happened. When I saw it... my jaw fell to the damn ground. It was always a possibility, but it was so small that I didn't pay much attention to it.

What am I supposed to do now? ;_;


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Like **** ughhhhhhhh


----------



## tea111red

I'm bored.


----------



## blue2

tea111red said:


> I'm bored.


So what if you buy a motorbike and jump it or something :stu


----------



## Hermiter

way worse than usual.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I want to cry.


----------



## Avesatani

Strange...


----------



## loneranger

A bit happier. Got my social life back.


----------



## kivi

Inadequate.


----------



## Dux

Had to wake up too early today which means my day started with deep melancholia, but some good music remedied that. Feeling good now


----------



## Joe

i had a dream where i was best friends with holo from spice and wolf, needless to say i wasn't too happy when i woke up


----------



## Last of the Time Lords

Frustrated. It seems that no matter what I do I always manage to somehow screw myself over when it comes to socializing.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

emotionally...... neutral. physical.... Ok.


----------



## Joe

;_;


----------



## SofaKing

Overwhelmed by my studies. Old dog, new tricks paradigm.


----------



## jsmith92

In a Lonely Place said:


> It's ****ing mental how thousands of us are experiencing this loneliness/craziness yet here we all are and nobody knows. We log off and it's back to the real world, alone, some sick kind of twisted irony in all this.


It's because nobody cares about people like us. We are completely worthless and nobody cares one bit.


----------



## TryingMara

Stressed, anxious, scared.


----------



## slyfox

Tired even though I slept the day away. Also having acid reflux


----------



## ShatteredGlass

ashamed


----------



## CWe

Weird


----------



## kivi

Exhausted.


----------



## Depo

Tipsy


----------



## Itta

Sleepy and in pretty good mood right now


----------



## Flora20

I feel so nervous to start school tomorrow -.-


----------



## Thedood

Feeling so blank lately, kinda off a bit, but I guess overall I'm alright.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Depressed, of course.


----------



## notchattykathy

Strange. I just joined. All I think about is if someone is looking at me, or if my boyfriend is mad or bored with me. Constant asking, constant worry. I can't live in the moment we except for thinking "what are all the people who are looking at me thinking, who is looking at me, is there anyone I know here"


----------



## Depo

Tipsy and thirsty. :|


----------



## Quirky

Don't really know how to describe it. It feels blank, content, and anxious all at the same time. Still can't convince myself to go out to the outside world these days, I seem content by myself instead of the sense of loneliness I used to have in the past.


----------



## jsmith92

Quirky said:


> Don't really know how to describe it. It feels blank, content, and anxious all at the same time. Still can't convince myself to go out to the outside world these days, I seem content by myself instead of the sense of loneliness I used to have in the past.


I don't know how I feel either. I feel lost.


----------



## dontwaitupforme




----------



## FunkyFedoras

like I'm forgetting something.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Not too bad, actually.


----------



## loneranger

Happier.


----------



## shelbster18

Like I wish I was dead. Seems like I just get ignored and no one would care if I died. It's pretty hard to believe that with the things that have happened to me in the past. Ugh. I've been feeling more and more like this the past few months.


----------



## moonglum

I feel lost these days. I mean more than ever...


----------



## KILOBRAVO

slightly tired and sleepy.


----------



## CWe

Feel irritated and upset


----------



## Andras96

Empty, powerless, unmotivated, defective, unneeded, overlooked, useless. Yet, nothing changes. I continue to post on this site and everything carries on.


----------



## eveningbat

:bat angry


----------



## blue2

Inquisitive and curious


----------



## anthropy

absoutely ghastly.. a big part due to a terrible infection im suffering from that has me in constant pain while having other debilitating effects. that along with the usual depression and frustration and whatnot is starting to drive me over the edge.


----------



## shelbster18

I just felt nauseous and then threw up. My nose was running and my eyes got watery. I hate that nauseous feeling.  For my life. I've puked several times in the past four months. It 's just a matter of time before it happens again. It's like I got nauseous, then my heart was beating a bit fast, and then I puke. ****ing ****.


----------



## ArrowFan84

Lonely and scared of the future. Thinking about being alone and getting depressed. Complete 180 from yesterday.


----------



## Flora20

Sad and alone but also feel empty.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Like my options are running out and suicide will be the only one left.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Beer buzz...so to be accompanied by a herbal buzz


----------



## Yer Blues

Feel pretty good considering I was up at 7:30 am.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

So good :boogie


----------



## KILOBRAVO

tired and sleepy. unmotivated and bored....


----------



## slyfox

Overwhelmed


----------



## Chieve

not sure of a word...im not stressed...but I am hopeful I'll find a new job...but worried I won't because my current job gives me way to little hours and may get rid of me soon because I am seasonal (and i want to stay part time until i find a new job...) and im slowly losing money...i got 4 hours last week...this week nothing


----------



## River In The Mountain

I feel like I've lost something but I don't know what. Sort of like an emotional version of 'Did I leave the oven on'??? 
I feel sad about cutting ties with people I knew would be better off without me. I feel stupid for feeling sad.


----------



## Kevin001

Nervous, I have my psychologist apt. tomorrow.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Anxious and a little bit sad. I want to be left alone but I dont..


----------



## KILOBRAVO

same as yesterday. uninspired, bored, unmotivated....


----------



## aveytare

really bored. i have a big assignment due on friday and i had to do it but i cant find the motivation to start it lol :/


----------



## Depo

Tipsy again.... tomorrow I want to feel like this. But my parents always complain. Ugh, life is so boring without booze.


----------



## shelbster18

Stoned. Not just high but stoned. At least that's how I felt earlier. O_O I couldn't help it. I had to smoke again.


----------



## diamondheart89

do not wanna go to work tomorrow. bleh.


----------



## Kevin001

Hopeless


----------



## Flora20

I'm feeling pretty good today.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonable... but still unmotivated and uninspired.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

****ing anxious!


----------



## aveytare

apathetic, unmotivated, tired, & slightly worried :/


----------



## Flora20

Angry and sad


----------



## ShatteredGlass

It's strange. When I don't feel depressed, I question whether or not I have depression, when I'm sad, I have no doubt that I have depression.

I guess I feel the same as I usually do. Blank faced to the constant stresses of my life. I have to deal with so much crap on monday. I guess my brain is choosing to ignore everything that is hanging over my head. I was a bit disheartened today, although I probably should have seen it coming. I'm not enjoying my psychology class. Turns out that even when I'm interested, I'm still too lacking in energy to do a large amount of work. Pfft. No surprise, I guess. I guess I'll continue to feel like inferior trash even in the subjects I'm 'strong' in.

While my new school is a lot better than my old one in most ways, I still don't like being there. Every class is boring, unpleasant, and anxiety inducing when teachers put me in situations where I have to speak or do anything that will be noticed by my classmates. It'd definitely help if I had friends. I'm too lacking in social skills though. Today I tried talking to one of my acquaintances. He ignored me outright. We were in a quiet place and I said his name twice at an adequate volume and distance.

Ignored.

I didn't really even feel anything. Previously I would've gone somewhere else to pseudo-self-harm and/or cry, I just walked away, feeling mostly apathetic. I guess I've grown used to constant rejection. I guess it just means that I'm without any acquaintances now.

I'm too socially retarded to talk to people so I might as well just end my life.

Shame I don't know how. I'm even useless in suicide methods. Ugh.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Poisoned.


----------



## SofaKing

dontwaitupforme said:


> Poisoned.


Date not go well?


----------



## minimized

Like if I was drowning no one would help me.


----------



## slyfox

Tired and depressed. Like a complete failure. The typical


----------



## dontwaitupforme

KyleInSTL said:


> Date not go well?


Was a bit silly and drank too much. Now he won't leave, lol. It wasn't too bad though.


----------



## youcantseeme

Bitter and confused...and let's not forget lonely!


----------



## kivi

Uncomfortable.


----------



## slyfox

Terrible. My back and knees ache. Also on my 2nd day of quitting soda and feeling awful. Have been cheating and drinking juice. I'll have to tapper off that eventually because the amounts I drink are too much. For example while having withdrawal from no soda, I just chugged down a quart of apple juice. Now getting a headache


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit cold, a bit bored, a bit worried


----------



## Silere

Not sure, my head's a mess. Tired, anxieties on and off, not sure which way I'm gonna go.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

bleeeeh. i'm in for yet another ****ty day tomorrow. i think i'm going to call or text my psychologist and get an appointment.


----------



## Kevin001

Hopeless


----------



## Charmeleon

Bored.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

a fraction uneasy. for no real reason in particular.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I can feel my sanity slowly slipping away.


----------



## Kevin001

Very confused, it might be the meds.


----------



## S a m

Pretty bored. Just trying to find something to pass time.


----------



## jsmith92

Glass-Shards said:


> I can feel my sanity slowly slipping away.


Isn't that how it is all the time?


----------



## shelbster18

Mad. -_-


----------



## ShatteredGlass

jsmith92 said:


> Isn't that how it is all the time?


To me specifically or...?

I guess 'sanity' isn't the right word, I think 'patience' would be more accurate. I often have what I call 'mental breakdowns' after an extended period of consistent horrors caused by school. It's not going to take much more than another rejection or embarrassing moment to send me over the edge of crying and self-harming. It gets more difficult every day to hold my own against the ruthless cruelty that school subjects me to.

I have to manage keeping up with my classes, anxiety, having little motivation to do work, being socially retarded, constantly worrying about how I smell (despite showering & wearing deodorant + clean clothes), having a crush who likely thinks of me as a socially retarded nerd, homework, juggling my bodily needs with my anxiety (I'm afraid to eat + drink and use the toilet at school), having a teacher who sexually turns me on, awkward moments every day that tarnish my reputation, having to hide my sexual orientation, worrying about not getting a seat on the bus, anxiety about people speaking to me, being lonely and depressed, having school crush my self esteem over and over again, + more.

Yeah school sucks.


----------



## kivi

Sleepy.


----------



## Brroken

There's no point to it any more. I've lost all joy in my life. I've spent the last couple of years on various drugs and alcohol to suppress my feeling of hopelessness, but now all of that's gone. Everything's gone. I'm all alone now. I just don't know what to do...


----------



## borntodie19

excited and confused, tomorrow I have an appointment with my psychiatrist and possibly he prescribes Nardil !!!!!!!

Possibly it is a word I hate


----------



## CWe

Tired


----------



## Andras96

Screw all of this. I'm sick of being that "weirdo." I'm ****ing sick and tired of being a social leper that people avoid. People look at me with disgust for no reason. People can't stand the sight of me. What's the ****ing point in trying anymore? People will instantly perceive me as some weirdo so why should I even ****ing care anymore? I'm a loser, plain and simple. Why should I continue to even carry on...

Edit: Silly me, complaining on a mental health site won't solve anything. There's only one solution to end this cycle.


----------



## Crisigv

ashamed, for not being more brave and sticking up for myself


----------



## Ender

Broken, sad, scared and angry


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Enraged. Angry. Pissed off. Stressed. Miserable.

You really don't hold back, do you school? You don't hold back in your ruthless reign of terror. A building should not be giving me thoughts of ending my own life. You hurt me every day. You leave me feeling consistently miserable. I'd love to see you up in flames, screaming the silent screams of anguish. I hope you burn in the deepest fathoms of hell. Stirred in the boiling caldron that 'it' cooks its victims in.


----------



## mras1989

I feel like the weight of the whole world is pushing me down. And I'm stuck 40 feet below water and I'm looking up and the surface is so far away and I'm drowning and I keep reaching out for someone's hand to pull me out but there's no hands there to grab and everything is just getting darker and darker...

I'm just having a rough few days


----------



## Murra514

Extremely embarrassed :$


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Like a mental breakdown is imminent.


----------



## Charmeleon

I'm like so stressed out right now.


----------



## Lonelyguy111

*I am Feeling.............*


Scared, Lonely. Tired. Frustrated. Weird. Stupid. Boring. Lifeless. Pointless. Useless. Sad. Anxious and Apathetic.

Nothing unusual.
Normal for me. :hide:rain:cry


----------



## Lonelyguy111

Glass-Shards said:


> Like a mental breakdown is imminent.


Know the feeling.
I average one about every week or so.

My mind what is left of it is broken.


----------



## jsmith92

Glass-Shards said:


> To me specifically or...?
> 
> I guess 'sanity' isn't the right word, I think 'patience' would be more accurate. I often have what I call 'mental breakdowns' after an extended period of consistent horrors caused by school. It's not going to take much more than another rejection or embarrassing moment to send me over the edge of crying and self-harming. It gets more difficult every day to hold my own against the ruthless cruelty that school subjects me to.
> 
> I have to manage keeping up with my classes, anxiety, having little motivation to do work, being socially retarded, constantly worrying about how I smell (despite showering & wearing deodorant + clean clothes), having a crush who likely thinks of me as a socially retarded nerd, homework, juggling my bodily needs with my anxiety (I'm afraid to eat + drink and use the toilet at school), having a teacher who sexually turns me on, awkward moments every day that tarnish my reputation, having to hide my sexual orientation, worrying about not getting a seat on the bus, anxiety about people speaking to me, being lonely and depressed, having school crush my self esteem over and over again, + more.
> 
> Yeah school sucks.


To all of us


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Wow this day just keeps getting worse amd worse. What next? With this kind of stress, I'll be bald by like 23.

And to @jsmith92, I'll add a couple more things:
Having to pay for the bus every day, having a class that runs until 5pm, getting urges to cry and self harm semi frequently, always feeling like utterly inferior trash, feeling suicidal, having to deal with being around immature teenagers, plus many others.


----------



## estse

Super bad and totally, like, depressed. Wanna die, etc. Going to my funeral soon, dude. Like, wanting to watch my dead body burn, baby. Oh yeah. This sound in my head.


----------



## beffa

like absolute ****


----------



## Drewwerd

*Pretty crappy*

Nothing really terrible I guess, just kind of stuck I suppose. I've been stuck in a rut for the past few years and I just feel things gradually slipping. I rarely leave the house except for work and have been avoiding doing anything really productive that would advance me in any facet of my life. Just feel like I need a jump start.


----------



## thomasjune

I'm a bit sleepy so I'm gonna take me an 8-9 hour nap. Maybe I'll even call-in sick tomorrow. hehe


----------



## i suck at life

i'm feeling happy and relieved that i was able to get into a class i crashed, but at the same time, kind of dreading all the work imunna have to do


----------



## jsmith92

I want to die


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Like ****. I just keep on making the wrong decisions. I'm so stupid. Even if I were to turn out to be intellectually gifted like some people in my life suspect, I'd still feel like a stupid idiot. My decisions are influenced by the numerous outcomes I come up with in every situation balanced with my emotionally charged desires for immediate pleasure and minimal negative feelings.

If only I could act. I've been practicing my ability to hide my emotions and I think I've been doing a kind of decent job. I just have to concentrate on my outside actions in situations that might cause physical 'knee jerk' sort of reactions like a sneer in the face. It's actually not very hard. I managed to hide my rage today when I felt like punching somebody.

If I had good acting ability, I wonder what I could do socially. I probably wouldn't be Light Yagami though. I'm definitely not as smart and he has minimal social anxiety and very little empathy for others.


----------



## eveningbat

abandoned


----------



## TheEchoingGreen

Desolate


----------



## shelbster18

Upset. I'm getting rid of my Buspirone and Citalopram. They're not doing **** for me. I've never even heard of Buspirone until I got presribed it and my heart was beating fast again last night. I think they just want to kill me. The Adderall worked fine and I told them that but they wouldn't give it to me. I just would rather not take any meds.


----------



## Avesatani

Sleepy, lonely and homesick


----------



## Blue Scout

I'm feeling great. Don't know why everyone on this website is so negative.


----------



## Joe

really good of course


----------



## Crisigv

super lonely


----------



## mardymoo

Like I want to reach out to people but don't know how. I'm sinking further and further into my depression and the thought of suicide sounds more appealing than ever.


----------



## HenDoggy

Damn, this thread is more depressing then the frustration one  I feel the same as everyone as well.


----------



## kivi

Bored.


----------



## PaulWani

mardymoo said:


> Like I want to reach out to people but don't know how. I'm sinking further and further into my depression and the thought of suicide sounds more appealing than ever.


:hug

I just hugged myself IRL, pretending that I am hugging you. Those thoughts will go away, they will. In such moments I always think of people like me, who feel the same, who are alike, who know what I feel even though we are not aware of each other's existence. The sense of community is right here; we are different but we are a legion. Do not worry


----------



## fatima75

I can't say I don't know why I am feeling sad but I can't help myself


----------



## Flora20

I'm actually feeling pretty good today.


----------



## slyfox

Sick to my stomach. At least the headache I had has gone away for now


----------



## lunarc

Pretty ****. It's my birthday. Another year alone. Lool. I know I'm just wallowing and feeling sorry for myself. But...it's my birthday and I'm allowed to, just for today.


----------



## SofaKing

Discarded and easily forgotten.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Like I don't matter. I have this feeling in the back of my mind that says, maybe she really does enjoy talking to me. I can't think why.

Maybe it just is.

It makes me sad.


----------



## Lonelyguy111

*I Feel GREAT !!!!!*

*I feel GREAT ! * :clap
I am on top of the world, I am in love with everyone and everything is wonderful ! :boogie:yay

I look forward to tomorrow and I have purpose in life and my life is full of good friends, loved ones and activities.

My career is rewarding and provides an excellent income and my health is superb. 

*I love life and things could not be better !!!!!!!* 
***********************************************
*..... and if you believe all of THAT.......
I will sell you the Brooklyn bridge for only $100.00 ! LOL. *:lol:rofl


----------



## Kevin001

depressed, same everyday.


----------



## Annoyingnerd

Like I'm lost and no one is there to help


----------



## shelbster18

Whack. Lol I don't know. I just felt like saying that. But seriously, I feel calm.


----------



## GemoftheUniverse

Angry...i always feel like im being talked about by complete strangers. I have lost friends over this because i am always trying to get over my fears in public.But when i feel like someone is insulting me(never directly) it turns into anger like they are trying to keep me stuck in my fears and they are strangers.

Okay so i was at the movies tonight with a friend and my eyes were glued to the screen while i was doing my usual technique where i try not o let my body get affected by people's opinions. This couple was sitting behind us and i could hear him say to his girlfriend oh he looks spaced out like hes retarded or something, I think its in my head because this happens all the time. But it makes me sooo mad that someone would say this not knowing what im going through. So i kinda lashed out at my friend which i feel bad about now but he doesnt even know my problem. Its embarrassing to tell. 

I always feel like im almost over my fears of people's opinions but then there is always those voices of insults that i hear that get in the way and cause much confusion in my head. I hear spaced out, retarded, in a trance, and weirdo alot. It may be in my head but it feels so real.


----------



## Esteban

Optimistic, confident, and happy


----------



## mardymoo

PaulWani said:


> :hug
> 
> I just hugged myself IRL, pretending that I am hugging you. Those thoughts will go away, they will. In such moments I always think of people like me, who feel the same, who are alike, who know what I feel even though we are not aware of each other's existence. The sense of community is right here; we are different but we are a legion. Do not worry


Thanks


----------



## KILOBRAVO

slightly ill. because I still have a cold.


----------



## Cmasch

Depressed, Lazy.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

****ty. Inferior. Thinking about death. Ya know, the usual.


----------



## shelbster18

Hungry. I want some chocolate. Lolz


----------



## Flora20

I'm feeling good today, it was a nice day.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Paralyzed. Nauseated. My crush hates me. I'm sure of it.

I need help or I might do something bad. My psychologist is back at work in a week. An entire week. What do I do? I can't take it anymore. I'm losing it. I'm shaking and sweating and there is nothing I can do about it. I have to suck it up like a ****ing vacuum.

Please. Somebody. I'm in the danger zone right now.


----------



## jsmith92

Glass-Shards said:


> Paralyzed. Nauseated. My crush hates me. I'm sure of it.
> 
> I need help or I might do something bad. My psychologist is back at work in a week. An entire week. What do I do? I can't take it anymore. I'm losing it. I'm shaking and sweating and there is nothing I can do about it. I have to suck it up like a ****ing vacuum.
> 
> Please. Somebody. I'm in the danger zone right now.


So am I. I'm rapidly breaking apart and nobody knows at school. I act like everything is completely fine.


----------



## Esteban

extremely happy

I'm rolling in my serotonin.


----------



## kivi

I feel uncomfortable.


----------



## SummerRae

Oh god. I realized I hate everyone and can't trust anyone and I'll tell you about what is inside my head. I have these three great friends, who only love me and think highly of me, right? I think highly of them too, right? I love them? No. Ew I can't stand any of them. They're rude and selfish and hold me back so much in life. Like literally my best friend is too fat and makes me slow down for her all the time and gets pissed off when I walk faster. My other friend is annoying and dramatic as ****. I can't stand these two girls. This girl has a lazy eye though and it's really weird talking to her and then one eye starts looking at the ceiling. I swear, I can't stand being around them and so I've been a ***** to them lately. Although I can't completely ruin my friendship with my best friend because her parents still drive.me home after school. And she buys me food and takes me to the movies. Also her step dad is hot and I've had sex dreams about him before. He flirts with me a lot and I like it. Anyways, my third friend is pretty hot. All besides her face. She has acne all over and has a big *** nose. Gross. But other than that she's the cool friend of my group. Omg don't get me started on my ex fiancee. His d is literally smaller than the length of my pinkie. He's from SAS too. Anyways, my new male friend that I've been hanging out with is okay looking. He's transgender, which doesn't bother me at all. But sometimes when we get into the moment I really feel like sucking his *coughcough* but It's not there. I really want a relationship with him, but I'm too unstable and so is he. He's drugged up too because he just had chest surgery. Ah, how I ****ing hate him for ****ing around with me and not committing. He's starting to gross me out. uke also I'm not sure if I'm still going to his house on Valentine's Day. I might call up this other guy and see if he wants to go out to a party and get high or something. Oh god, how I long for a drink of that pain reliever. I miss my warm drink. Ugh I'm so fat I need to throw up again.  just to let you know. Almost all your friends that say you're beautiful and that you're not fat are ****ing LYING TO YOU. Just know I hate everyone. And _this_ is why I'm alone in the world. I gave my heart to someone long ago, which Michael couldn't even bring back. I have no heart for anyone, I can't wait to see all of you in hell.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Alone. Forever trapped in a chronic state of loneliness and feeling unwanted and inferior. Is my physical existence real or is it just a dream?


----------



## TryingMara

Worried.


----------



## S a m

I had a pretty s****y day and was pretty pissed off for awhile but now I'm starting to pick right back up again so that's good. I hate going to sleep in a bad mood.


----------



## Cletis

Not good. Which is normal for me. :no


----------



## KoolKat

I am feeling tired of life.


----------



## MCHB

Eh.

A little tired; couldn't sleep last night and had to be up early. I feel mellow I guess; probably go to bed early. :fall


----------



## HenDoggy

lunarc said:


> Pretty ****. It's my birthday. Another year alone. Lool. I know I'm just wallowing and feeling sorry for myself. But...it's my birthday and I'm allowed to, just for today.


I know I'm late, but happy b day!


----------



## Charmeleon

Lolita said:


> His d is literally smaller than the length of my pinkie.


Sorry (not really) but I lol'd at the pinkie d part xD

Anyways, I'm feeling miserable ;(


----------



## Flora20

I'm feeling really tired and sleepy.


----------



## tayann

Im feeling extremely bored and restless! ... how do you reply to pp on here? (Im new)


----------



## SummerRae

RadnessaurousRex said:


> Sorry (not really) but I lol'd at the pinkie d part xD
> 
> Anyways, I'm feeling miserable ;(


Omg u turned into a female :0 (ur gender thang!) 
Yeah but I'm srs when it's flaccid it's like 8=) it's gross.

Sorry you're miserable. Me too, but that's okay. We're all just gonna die anyways.

I'm feeling lonely. I need new fb friends ;(


----------



## SummerRae

tayann said:


> Im feeling extremely bored and restless! ... how do you reply to pp on here? (Im new)


You look down to your *quote* "pp" and say hi back


----------



## Charmeleon

Lolita said:


> Omg u turned into a female :0 (ur gender thang!)
> Yeah but I'm srs when it's flaccid it's like 8=) it's gross.
> 
> Sorry you're miserable. Me too, but that's okay. We're all just gonna die anyways.
> 
> I'm feeling lonely. I need new fb friends ;(


LOL! 8=) xD

Yeah, a wizard on here turned me into a lady


----------



## zonebox

Intoxicated 

Life is good.


----------



## kivi

Bored as usual.


----------



## AceEmoKid

unimpressed


----------



## jsmith92

AceEmoKid said:


> unimpressed


That reminds me


----------



## BackToThePast

Me angry. Me no like it when me angry. Me angry for being angry.


----------



## shelbster18

Obsessive and feeling like everything isn't right anymore.


----------



## kivi

Bored...


----------



## AceEmoKid

'lectric


----------



## kivi

I feel neglected by my mother.


----------



## eveningbat

Dumped


----------



## TabbyTab

So ****ing hungry

FEEED MEEEEEEE


----------



## TryingMara

Cold brrr.


----------



## jeanny

Sick again. Why did I come back to SAS... Oh yeah, I have no life or self-control...


----------



## Kevin001

I don't know. Its a mix between depressed, anxious, and confused.


----------



## Esteban

giddy like a school girl

tee hee


----------



## buddyboy

I feel happy and bubbly most of the time


----------



## jsmith92

**** life


----------



## forgetmylife

i'm tired, but only my head/eyes lolwut


----------



## Charmeleon

Like ****


----------



## shelbster18

Better than I have in the past few weeks.


----------



## SuperSky

Sick. Stupid cold.

Also a tad icked out, because the little pre-sprouty bit of a white bean can be pink and looks like a larvae/worm. Not eating those ****ers for awhile.


----------



## GangsterOfLove

Sick and hungry. Just getting over a stomach bug.


----------



## kivi

Useless.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Terrible, as usual. But I think I'll eat.


----------



## Cmasch

Alright, not good, not bad. Just alright


----------



## LoneWolf14

Feeling good today, ventured out of the house to go watch a couple movies.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

A big swirl of emotions, it's like they've just escaped from my little secret box, that I used to store away very well.


----------



## SofaKing

I'm concerned about "fitting in" at my new profession which seems to encourage badmouthing peers. It makes me extremely uncomfortable and scares me since I don't have another option in mind if this burns me out quickly.


----------



## TabbyTab

Like trash. I can't do jack ****.


----------



## Depo

Tipsy!!!! :b


----------



## Sprocketjam

Very tired. Haven't slept for nearly 24 hours.


----------



## Shizuma

My Mom. I know that I shouldn't listen to her, she really needs to stop using me as a ****ing diary, I don't wanna hear about her troubles, which now are mine since I'm ****ing born. There is such a dark cloud above her. 

I succeeded in avoiding her negativity but she trapped me at dinner. Now I'm not feeling well and I have to do something, keep myself busy not to let the cloud surround me. 

Not feeling well and angry but it will get better.


----------



## eveningbat

Pretty ill.


----------



## Andras96

I can't even articulate how I feel anymore. I'm sick of everything. People purposely go out of their way to avoid me. I don't know if people can just "sense" that I'm socially inept at first sight, I don't know if it's my appearance, I just don't know.


----------



## kivi

Uncomfortable.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Overcome with rage and hatred. I'm literally shaking from the frustration. Today has been a very bad day. I'll report later with details when I'm free from this hell for a while.


----------



## Zyriel

Extraordinarily thirsty, a type of thirst which cannot be quenched! Must hold off on such a parching thirst, so the drenching will be INSANE! When I finally drink something, I know I'll get that cool feeling where it feels like your chest is leaking. All that cold liquid trickling down, flowing through your bones or spilling out lol even though it's not @[email protected]


----------



## sydney1

terrible, i have really bad SA


----------



## Kevin001

delirious, must be the meds


----------



## lonelyscorpion

Hi, I'm 37 years old, I own a company that caters to woman, it's a retail one, I'm amazingly good in selling to my female customers and I do get a lot of attention during work hours. My problem is that I'm always alone, my first dates are always amazing my last "first date" was about 2 weeks ago with an exgirlfriend that i had about 3 years ago, in the date she was just full of love towards me, our chemistry was perfect that night, she was already making plans to go out on a trip and getting same tattoos!, our date started at 8pm I took her to the beach with some bottles of wine, the moon was amazing, everything was just perfect, we ended the date at around 3am, lots of making out, hugging and having just a perfect chemistry, our second date was amazing as well she even ask me to go to her apto so I thought she wanted a romantic night, when I got there her daughter was there (she is like 23) apparently showed up at her mom's on a day her mom wasn't expecting her, but my date was really sweet to me in front of her, so I was like this is going awesome I found my other half. btw she was the one looking for me at first, she came To the store a couple times, text me and call me till she got my attention and I ask her out.

After that second date she text me how sensual I was and how much she wanted me. That was last Tuesday and since then I haven't seen her again, for valentine's she told me her daughter was feeling lonely cause her bf worked till 1 am and she wanted to spend the day with her. After that she had to leave town for work and was supposed to come back on friday, today I found out she was already here. I text her why she didnt told me she was here and she just wrote me she has been busy. 

I don't know what I did wrong this time.
I don't know y I feel so rejected by her.
I don't know y when I'm with her we have this great chemistry and when we are apart we are almost strangers. 
I'm just tired to always get attached almost instantly if the lady makes me feel full and happy inside.

Sorry for the long conversation I actually tried to make it as short as I could.

Btw the woman in the past where I have behave like a total *** they all still love me and want to go back wit me and the woman who I have treated as queens have all left me.


----------



## JustJordan

Feeling a bit bored, but also anxious for my Psychiatrist appointment tomorrow. I hate the day before an appointment D:


----------



## Flora20

Lots of good things happened today so I'm feeling pretty good.


----------



## Faynae

Pretty sad


----------



## forgetmylife

like a piece of paper


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Somewhat ****ty. It could just be my level of fatigue. Does anxiety actually make you tired? I suppose it would, because the adrenaline hormones are being released which are pretty intense on the bodily systems. I'm only(?) getting about 6.5 hours of sleep per night, which probably doesn't help with my stress levels.


----------



## eveningbat

Ill and lonely.


----------



## kivi

Tired.


----------



## Eric78

Alone, depressed, empty, worried, etc.


----------



## srschirm

eveningbat said:


> Ill and lonely.


Feel better, friend!


----------



## eveningbat

srschirm said:


> Feel better, friend!


Hey, thank you.  I appreciate it. :hug How are you feeling?


----------



## srschirm

eveningbat said:


> Hey, thank you.  I appreciate it. :hug How are you feeling?


Pretty well, thanks!  Very cold here, but at least the sun is out. Looking forward to time with a local friend tomorrow. :hug


----------



## eveningbat

srschirm said:


> Pretty well, thanks!  Very cold here, but at least the sun is out. Looking forward to time with a local friend tomorrow. :hug


oh, good


----------



## kivi

Weak.


----------



## Kevin001

Depressed plus my stomach hurts, sucks.


----------



## PandaBearx

Broken


----------



## Shizuma

I feel well. 

It was a good day. I put on my make-up and I was happy because I succeeded in applying it and I'm improving everyday about taking care of mysef. 

Then I ate a delicious meal but I had a belly ache and I started to feel bad and tired and I was going not to do anything during the rest of the day. 

But I gave myself a shake, and went to the library to work a little bit. It was sunny outside and it was very pleasant to be around people. I have been very productive, I also studied traffic code, and I'm now happy about it and less stressed than I was before. Sometimes I'm just stuck and paralyzed and feared about doing things or homeworks, probably thinking about stakes and thinking that I'm not brilliant enough. But hell I am.

Well, it was a productive and encouraging day.


----------



## TenYears

So f-ing embarrassed, oh my God I just want to die. So yesterday at work I ripped my jeans. I mean, I really ripped them, one whole back pocket came off, all the way through to my undies. My @zz was hanging out. So I covered up with a jacket. Is really long, goes down past my butt, so I thought nobody noticed. Well, cute girl at work noticed. She's been razzing me all day about it.

"I like your tidy-whiteys!"
"it doesn't look like you get much sun down there"
"you were really letting it all hang out yesterday."

Fml. I feel like quitting and never showing my face here again.


----------



## SofaKing

TenYears said:


> So f-ing embarrassed, oh my God I just want to die. So yesterday at work I ripped my jeans. I mean, I really ripped them, one whole back pocket came off, all the way through to my undies. My @zz was hanging out. So I covered up with a jacket. Is really long, goes down past my butt, so I thought nobody noticed. Well, cute girl at work noticed. She's been razzing me all day about it.
> 
> "I like your tidy-whiteys!"
> "it doesn't look like you get much sun down there"
> "you were really letting it all hang out yesterday."
> 
> Fml. I feel like quitting and never showing my face here again.


Cute girl, both looking and willing to raz you seems like a good sign. Sorry for your embarrassment, but could be a fun special thing between you two.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Like I'm falling into a big pot of silly putty and trying to climb my way out.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Horrible. I'm at school and my throat is sore as hell. School has blessed me with a physical illness. Yay! How awesome!!


----------



## TenYears

KyleInSTL said:


> Cute girl, both looking and willing to raz you seems like a good sign. Sorry for your embarrassment, but could be a fun special thing between you two.


Thx, yeah. We flirt with each other sometimes, just to help pass the time I guess. She has a bf. Oh well, probably for the best lol.


----------



## shelbster18

Cold. :O


----------



## Owl-99

Like ****


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Not good.


----------



## CJanene

I feel like falling out of my chair and hitting the ground. Multiple times. Idk why


----------



## Kevin001

Tired and I'm super sweaty for no reason.


----------



## Nekomata

Tired and hungry :/ really don't want to wake up at 6am for work tomorrow either... ughh...


----------



## TryingMara

Happy and relieved.


----------



## Silere

Tired, I've not slept much this week, want to catch up with sleep tonight. And apathetic I think, don't like feeling like this at all, it's like nothing.


----------



## Kevin001

Sick, feel like I'm going to puke.


----------



## LolaViola

Pretty ****ty


----------



## kivi

I feel good.


----------



## will22

I have a huge headache.​


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Horrible. I think I had a panic attack in my sleep. I still feel like ****. It's 1 30 AM and I think this was caused by my cold, but I'm not sure. I had a bad dream in which I started seriously panicking to the point of legitimately feeling nauseous and like I was going to die.


----------



## Shizuma

Not really fine. 
Nightmares all night.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Still not good, but that's mostly due to the physical symptoms of this common cold. It's worse than I thought it would be. My nose is blocked and runny, my throat is still slightly scratchy, although not as bad as yesterday.

I think I had a panic attack last night. Allow me to explain. I was in a dream which I don't really remember specific details about, but then, somebody(thing?) took me to a small, secluded spot that I had to escape out of in order to wake up again. I found myself sitting on a small chair, in one of the rooms of my house, except the room was sectioned off by large, difficult to move shelves.

I tried to escape, and I found that my efforts were futile. I started to panic and I felt exceptionally nauseous and my heart was beating like crazy. I tried to do the trick where I close my eyes for a few seconds, and open them again, only to awaken, but it didn't seem to work.

The section of the room I was 'trapped' in had a window on the wall. At this point, I was completely panicking and felt disorientated. I decided to peek out the window by moving the bit of curtain out of my way, terrified of the horrors I was expecting to see.

It was not the window of the room I thought I was in.
It was my bedroom window.
I was awake. 

On one side I felt relieved that I was awake, but I still felt the symptoms of physical panic. I felt nauseous and dizzy and I couldn't think straight. I shakily turned on the bedroom light, realizing I was no longer 'trapped'. I sat on my bed while the symptoms faded away. Eventually they did, but the psychological impact stayed with me for hours afterward. I couldn't sleep for a bit over an hour, feeling sick with every swallow of my scratchy throat.

I can't tell if I was actually awake the whole time, but when I think about it, I probably was. It does kind of make sense to the context of the 'dream' and the way that my room is set up.

Ugh.


----------



## Crisigv

sad, lonely and bored


----------



## SofaKing

A bit nervous. I'm about to have my first ER clinical shift as a paramedic student for class purposes. Having to meet new people and stick people with needles. Comfort zone - out of.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mild liquor buzz/restless


----------



## TenYears

Lonely again on a Saturday night, how f-ing pathetic. But I don't feel like being around people. Thanks again SA.


----------



## Mary20

*Feeling Depressed*

I am feeling depressed right now, which is not surprising since I'm in a major depression. Trying to fight through it, though.


----------



## Cloudsephiroth

sad, lonely, tired, bored


----------



## zonebox

Hungover, tired, hungry, uninspired, lazy.

I need to get out of this house, but am stuck here for a while. 

meh, it is not all that bad.


----------



## Kevin001

Depressed and confused


----------



## probably offline

Full, sleepy and anxious.


----------



## eveningbat

Lonely and depressed.


----------



## LoneWolf14

****y, thinking about how messed up in the head I am.


----------



## Cmasch

Pretty good at the moment. I just practiced a couple songs on guitar, which is good because i procrastinate a lot. We will see later though lol.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

mildly crappy

how am i going to suffer at school today i wonder


----------



## zonebox

I can't believe how much time I have spent on this site today, gah... what am I doing to myself? I'm feeling really lazy now.


----------



## RubixQ

Scared.


----------



## TabbyTab

very excited because MY DEPECHE MODE SHIRT CAME IN THE MAIL Yuehehheeeeeee


----------



## blue2

eveningbat said:


> Lonely and depressed.


Really eveningbat..? those Ukraine guys not wise up yet :no


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy, annoyed, spaced, restless


----------



## eveningbat

blue2 said:


> Really eveningbat..? those Ukraine guys not wise up yet :no


True.


----------



## Avesatani

Was somewhat fine last few weeks...now i feel that i can't continue this way...all i want is to smile more and be happy


----------



## RubixQ

TabbyTab said:


> very excited because MY DEPECHE MODE SHIRT CAME IN THE MAIL Yuehehheeeeeee


You have a good taste in music :yes


----------



## T Studdly

Angry, depressed, alone.

The usual stuff.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

bleh


----------



## kivi

Empty.


----------



## Kevin001

kivi said:


> Empty.


Same


----------



## TabbyTab

RubixQ said:


> You have a good taste in music :yes


Thank


----------



## ShatteredGlass

****ty, as I do most of the time.


----------



## buckmg1

feeling depressed and suicidal


----------



## GangsterOfLove

Defeated.


----------



## Kevin001

Hungry


----------



## blue2

Like I just heard Elvis died for the first time


----------



## Lonelyguy111

Bored and anxious.
Crappy and worried.
Tired.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Like I'm going to be socially retarded for the rest of my life.


----------



## TabbyTab

I really want eggs


----------



## Quirky

Mildly anxious, oddly enough, mixed in with a feeling that people know more about me than I want them to.


----------



## Robin Love

*How are you feeling*

*:no*Hungry, lonely, and tired.
Are there any people over 40 that would like to get to know each other?


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Satisfied and happy for a change. A bit jittery, but that comes and goes.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored & annoyed at work


----------



## TryingMara

Annoyed.


----------



## Zyriel

Not sure lol. If we go by my fortune cookie, "There are lessons to be learned by listening to others." Something I don't do enough of, note taken cookie, note taken. And magic 8 ball told me "Yes. Definately." So that's a plus! I nod, so contemplative, possibly? If that's a feeling haha.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

not too bad


----------



## Esteban

happy


----------



## kivi

Sleepy


----------



## Kevin001

Sick and tired


----------



## Kind Of

You know you have a dirty mind when you feel uncomfortable saying "I'd like a pound of that hard salami" to a deli worker.


----------



## TabbyTab

Really bad because I take so ****ing long to reply to people's pms >;v


----------



## Kevin001

Depressed


----------



## ShatteredGlass

*sighs*

depressed as always


----------



## Owl-99

Apathetic as always.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit sore from helping my brother move & depressed


----------



## sunrisephoenix

Depressed


----------



## SofaKing

Alone...profoundly.


----------



## Crisigv

sad


----------



## ShatteredGlass

like a clump of meaningless matter


----------



## Kevin001

Hopeless


----------



## kivi

Lost


----------



## losthismarbles

really lonely


----------



## Cmasch

Awesome at the moment


----------



## slyfox

Dead tired


----------



## ShatteredGlass

blehhh


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Cold.. Calm.. Feeling like something is bubbling vigorously inside of me.

Need an outlet.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored, restless, annoyed, worried, hungry


----------



## Flora20

I feel so sleepy and tired -.- exhausted


----------



## RubixQ

Tired. Hope I don't get a migraine


----------



## GangsterOfLove

Terrible. Simply depressed and exhausted.


----------



## Andras96

I get the feeling that everyone on this site hates me. I'm probably not wrong in assuming that...


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Actually not too bad. It probably helps that I had the best sleep I've had in ages. Unfortunately, it was a little too good. I slept through my alarm and I had to basically fly to get ready for school.


----------



## funnynihilist

just a slight headache...


----------



## slyfox

unmotivated


----------



## CJanene

1. I feel like the reason I was put on this earth was so I could cater to the people around me and basically live a pointless life where I am miserable all of the time. (Outside of my brain)

2. I feel like living in Canada so I can be in a place where I am happy. Look out my window and finally be able to see snow again. So maybe I feel hopeful


----------



## kivi

Empty


----------



## KoolKat

Totally creeped out. Why can't people leave me alone..I stayed in the car while my mom went in to pay for gas and this dude in the passenger seat of the car at the gas pump next to us was trying to get me to talk to him by opening his door and yelling "hey" at me a million times because I wouldn't look at him and when I did, he made the "call me" gesture and was definitely trying to say something else but I looked back down at my phone as quickly as I had glanced up and shook my head and they drove away. It was so creepy.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, restless, annoyed, concerned


----------



## shelbster18

Hungry. My stomach is growling. Haven't haf any real food to eat today. I didn't the day before yesterday and don't think I'll be able to for the next two days but I can deal with that. At least I still have some cookies to eat.


----------



## Ender

Mushy


----------



## ShatteredGlass

like slop

blehhhh


----------



## Zyriel

Bleh a bit bloated ! These bodies we possess are such bothersome things lol never in optimal condition ><! Even when full of nutrients, vitamins, minerals, ugh whatever else :b


----------



## Loveless

Hmm so I'm thinking about Benzos now


----------



## KILOBRAVO

half reasonably ok. but still frustrated. but things might get better in a couple of weeks.


----------



## copper

Feel crappy. Been off work all week with flu. The worse of this is the widespread pain esp in my lower back. Feels like someone is jabbing with a knife. Haven't gone anywhere since Sunday. Two other coworkers have also been home all week due to this. So it is going around.


----------



## kivi

Restless


----------



## Kevin001

happy because I know it will be over soon.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Depressed. I don't know why I can't let my walls down and get over the past. Everyone just feels like the enemy to me and I can't make friends because of it.


----------



## mysterymachine

Tired, stressed out, worn down, anxious, worried, hungry. Maybe if i eat, it will make all those bad feelings feel 30 percent better.


----------



## Kevin001

Hungry


----------



## slyfox

Sick. Sore throat is starting to spread to my ears


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I just got back from walking around in a cemetery, checking out all of the dates, reading the names, etc. Came home, started to fix my boat, spent some time with my wife, now watching a movie with the family. In another couple of hours, I will pick up my puppy from the vet, she is getting spayed.

Later on tonight, I will sit back, play video games, and drink some rum and diet coke.. on the rocks 

Today is a good day.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonable


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## Kevin001

Tired but I've been sleeping all day.


----------



## TabbyTab

Supa fly because I just finished writing my persuasive speech for English and now I'm rewarding myself with pizza yeye


----------



## Kevin001

Tired.... :yawn


----------



## Flora20

I'm not feeling well today -.-


----------



## TenYears

Anxious. Can't sleep. FML. I'm a mess right now.


----------



## SofaKing

Frigging exhausted. Curse you day light savings time!


----------



## Conviction07

My sister just went into labour and it's 12:30am. I'm way too stressed out to sleep!


----------



## CristianNC

Really confused and angry at myself.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Blegh.


----------



## Lonly Cat

Hopeless. I hate math so much...


----------



## TryingMara

I'm in a good mood, but feel drained and like I'm coming down with a cold.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonably ok. . but i have some problems to have to resolve ad the main one that the moment I wont have the chance to try untill the week after ./


----------



## ElectricWizard

I feel like someone I love has gone missing and I fear something terrible has happened to them, Just waiting for the knock on the door to confirm the bad news. It's really draining and soul destroying like been in a state of mourning but I don't know why.


----------



## TangoTiger

Fever has been gone for more than a day, no more runny nose. Still sick but after almost 4 weeks I'm just happy that I'm finally getting better and not worse.


----------



## momentsunset

scared


----------



## mysterymachine

I think i'm broken.


----------



## BelowtheCurrent

Not too well. I'm frustrated and upset.


----------



## mr hoang

Bored and lonely.


----------



## Cmasch

Feeling alright. Not too good, not too bad


----------



## anomnomnom

Well its sunday night

So, pretty ****

Sigh, I hate my life frankly :blank


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Somewhat bitter


----------



## Bawkward

Lonely. Very lonely, I start having very negative thoughts. It's so hard to approach people and initiate conversations, but I want to meet them.


----------



## Pessoa

Like I'm balancing on the edge of an abyss.


----------



## thomasjune

Had a pretty nice weekend but its over. Now I feel sick again.


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling really ambitious, and full of energy. woot-woot!


----------



## Quirky

Excited yet calmly content, as this spring break week is about to begin!


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Appreciative.


----------



## TryingMara

depleted


----------



## kivi

Bored


----------



## Evo1114




----------



## Flora20

Stressed out exhausted and alone -.-


----------



## wrongguy

Scared and bleak


----------



## meandernorth

Apprehensive & Down


----------



## Kevin001

I thought I was crazy before, I'm losing it now.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

yuck. undesirable. strange.

my eyes are dry and feel heavy. i feel unpleasant as usual.


----------



## slyfox

Sick and in pain. Might still move some stuff tonight.


----------



## meandernorth

Tired but awake. Thinking.


----------



## TabbyTab

Happy happy listening to some gud tunes bouncing on my bed yeee


----------



## Kevin001

Defeated, I feel like I lost a battle that I never had a chance in.


----------



## TabbyTab

Pretty good actually. I was able to keep a conversation going today with this girl without constantly worrying and crap, and I got a lot of work done in class woooo


----------



## BillDauterive

A bit pissed, angry, bitter. Grumble grumble.
Mostly over the "who has it better, who has it worse" taboo on this forum.


----------



## SofaKing

Transporting a juvenile cancer patient is both the best and worst part of my job.


----------



## slyfox

sick, in pain, hopeless, and wanting to die


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless, tired, pathetic


----------



## meepie

Pretty good, and lazy  I Need to start working on my lesson plans for teaching. Gahhh


----------



## BackToThePast

I acted really outgoing today and even cracked a few jokes. Wth.


----------



## meandernorth

I work up much earlier than expected but am not too tired.


----------



## Flora20

Very tired -.-


----------



## probably offline

I really should think about what I watch before sleeping, since I always dream about that. Ive watched spooky stuff for two days, and I've dreamt about nothing but ghosts and demons.


----------



## Lonly Cat

Very stressed and tense.


----------



## kivi

Anxious


----------



## Kevin001

Sick


----------



## CJanene

I am really ****ing excited because I have helped organize one of the biggest festivals in my state, catering to over 22,000 people on one of the four festival days :boogie! I am also extremely nervous because omg that is a lot of people but I get to see so many amazing musicians living their dreams and gah this is awesome! Today is day one of four :clap


----------



## Crisigv

So miserable and tired. I'm also disappointed that I'm not working this weekend, so I'll be stuck at home for 2 days.


----------



## breatheout

Today was hard. Lost all motivation to do anything. Climbed into bed and forgot the world.


----------



## SofaKing

That moment when you feel you'll never succeed at your new profession is occurring too often lately.


----------



## ShannonTheLittleOwl

breatheout said:


> Today was hard. Lost all motivation to do anything. Climbed into bed and forgot the world.


Describes very well how I have been feeling for a while now.


----------



## TabbyTab

Gross. Being sick sucks.


----------



## thomasjune

I just talked to a friend that I haven't seen in over a year and we made plans to meet-up next weekend. I kinda miss her/ really want to see her so yea.. this is how I feel right now> :evil


----------



## Kevin001

Lost, I can't even remember what I did today.


----------



## calichick

-my hair looks good
-I'm eating better than ever
-My brows look absolutely wretched
-I think about men way too much
-I hate my job
-I dread going back to work on Monday
-I need to get laid desperately 
-what am I going to eat for dinner tonight?
-I was so anxious today I didn't do anything
-I'm thinking about my Hemsworth guy and if I really blew it big with him and I'm going to try more.


Try more to come out of my comfort zone with him. And I miss it a lot. I do.

How could I be so f***ing stupid and this always happens to me. It's a cycle it's a terrible loop never ending, I want to wack myself over the head. Jesus. :sigh

Please give me another chance....please if there's a God out there...


Pretty please...for the love of a 6'2 guy who's built like a Grecian God with facial scruff and pretty eyes


My lord.

I am perhaps one of the most socially retarded woman to have ever graced this fair state. Like seriously, for such a book smart girl I can be pretty f***ing dumb some times. Oi vey


----------



## TenYears

calichick said:


> -my hair looks good
> -I'm eating better than ever
> -My brows look absolutely wretched
> -I think about men way too much
> -I hate my job
> -I dread going back to work on Monday
> -I need to get laid desperately
> -what am I going to eat for dinner tonight?
> -I was so anxious today I didn't do anything
> -I'm thinking about my Hemsworth guy and if I really blew it big with him and I'm going to try more.
> 
> Try more to come out of my comfort zone with him. And I miss it a lot. I do.
> 
> How could I be so f***ing stupid and this always happens to me. It's a cycle it's a terrible loop never ending, I want to wack myself over the head. Jesus. :sigh
> 
> Please give me another chance....please if there's a God out there...
> 
> Pretty please...for the love of a 6'2 guy who's built like a Grecian God with facial scruff and pretty eyes
> 
> My lord.
> 
> I am perhaps one of the most socially retarded woman to have ever graced this fair state. Like seriously, for such a book smart girl I can be pretty f***ing dumb some times. Oi vey


Meh. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're young, you're smart, you're beautiful and you have your whole life ahead of you. Everything you described....anyone from SAS could have written the same thing :yes

Well, except maybe for wanting the Greek God. Just don't follow him around like a lost puppy. There are other Greek Gods out there.

I think. Maybe not that meet every single one of your ridiculously high standards. But they're out there.


----------



## calichick

TenYears said:


> Meh. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're young, you're smart, you're beautiful and you have your whole life ahead of you. Everything you described....anyone from SAS could have written the same thing :yes
> 
> Well, except maybe for wanting the Greek God. Just don't follow him around like a lost puppy. There are other Greek Gods out there.
> 
> I think. Maybe not that meet every single one of your ridiculously high standards. But they're out there.


I need to start opening up and not shunning men anymore though.

That very attitude that there will always be a new guy around the corner has left me single and alone every single night and I've been a horrible stupid b**** for the last 20 something odd years, making excuses and shying away from the possibility of love so if I have to follow him like a lost puppy to defy my usual pattern, he might as well be carrying the whip.

It shouldn't be this hard. I am a stupid, stupid girl. I have passed on a countless number of opportunities with good men (and some not so good men) and everyone around me seems to have coupled up.

Are there no single people left in the universe? Seems that way.


----------



## calichick

How is your love life going though @TenYears?

Hopefully someone's getting laid around here :rofl


----------



## meandernorth

Uncertain.


----------



## TenYears

calichick said:


> How is your love life going though @*TenYears* ?
> 
> Hopefully someone's getting laid around here :rofl


Haha, I hooked up with my crush from work last week :b. She actually stayed at my apartment Mon-Thu. I won't lie we had a lot of fun, but I may regret fishing off the company pier. Usually not a good idea, at all. But I did it anyway. We tore up the sheets, my God I cannot get enough of her.

I really, really, really like her. She's absolutely gorgeous. She never wears makeup and she's so f-ing beautiful. She's so tiny, she's built like a goddamn ballerina or something. I love her whole personality. And she makes me laugh. Not many people do that anymore.

She doesn't want a commitment though. Before we slept together we went out, and she looked me straight in the eyes and said "You want a commitment, don't you? I can tell."

Oh well. Can't always get what you want. And now I've slept with her. So I'm really screwed. And not in a good way.

I'm giving advice here telling you not to follow him around like a lost puppy and that's probably what I'll end up doing with her, lmfao.


----------



## Kevin001

Hungry


----------



## calichick

TenYears said:


> Haha, I hooked up with my crush from work last week :b. She actually stayed at my apartment Mon-Thu. I won't lie we had a lot of fun, but I may regret fishing off the company pier. Usually not a good idea, at all. But I did it anyway. We tore up the sheets, my God I cannot get enough of her.
> 
> I really, really, really like her. She's absolutely gorgeous. She never wears makeup and she's so f-ing beautiful. She's so tiny, she's built like a goddamn ballerina or something. I love her whole personality. And she makes me laugh. Not many people do that anymore.
> 
> She doesn't want a commitment though. Before we slept together we went out, and she looked me straight in the eyes and said "You want a commitment, don't you? I can tell."
> 
> Oh well. Can't always get what you want. And now I've slept with her. So I'm really screwed. And not in a good way.
> 
> I'm giving advice here telling you not to follow him around like a lost puppy and that's probably what I'll end up doing with her, lmfao.


Good on you, life is too f***ing short I mean I'd jump at the chance to have an intercompany romance.

You've just exacerbated my intimacy cravings by ten though, damn you! :lol everybody's having sex but me apparently.

Why doesn't she want a commitment? Married? Divorced?

Man guys, doing 70 on the highway, 65 degree spring breeze in the air, Nina Simone _Feeling Good_

If I could fly by night, all would be peachy. Would pretty damn sure like some company at this point.


----------



## calichick

One of these days I will overcome my fear of bars or nightlife in general, slip on my s!uttiest dress and pair of heels and find a quick lay.

Man girls like me sure make things complicated when there are easy fixes all around.

First guy who makes eye contact with me, _you, yes you, your house, NOW_ :lol


----------



## i just want luv

I woke up and it' was hot. I am still up and it is hot. My back is crumbled like a old lady trying to twerk on a handstand and just ends up severing her spine in twelve places. If I had a dream, it'd be for people in my household to put on some damn deodorant. I'm tired of having to lock myself in a diarrhea plagued bathroom just to clear from their pits and pork pelvises.

Why is there such a thing as midget biscuits? What purpose have you store other than to manipulate my poor eyesight into buying these crap, cute dough bread a******s and spend more for less? They taste fantastic! Maybe I would've liked more than 4 in a can.

Everyday some prick' locks up the dumpster that I have to use to empty my dog's indiscretions - I say indiscretions because she always does it in the middle of the street before we reach our destination - and I can never unlock the beige pile of rust. So here I am, with a bagged hand full of dino-chocolate, trying to jump up to reach the lock because some smart dumpster designer dick demands you have a 40inch vertical to access its usage.

After that, I head back into a pits galore full of deaf people that feel the only way to make their hearing better is to sit under the tv and blast the volume across the state and they're not even watching the freaking thing. My head hurts a little, and all in all, I have to say I feel alright. Because I have some shows to watch, and unless Time Warner Cable decides to go rouge on us for the trillionth time in the next few hours - there's no way I'm missing them.


----------



## Flora20

Feeling sleepy now


----------



## kivi

Tired and sleepy.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling sad and worthless.


----------



## SofaKing

Sad that I lost my best friend. She would have been so proud of me if I could still share my day with her.


----------



## TenYears

calichick said:


> Good on you, life is too f***ing short I mean I'd jump at the chance to have an intercompany romance.
> 
> You've just exacerbated my intimacy cravings by ten though, damn you! :lol everybody's having sex but me apparently.
> 
> Why doesn't she want a commitment? Married? Divorced?
> 
> Man guys, doing 70 on the highway, 65 degree spring breeze in the air, Nina Simone _Feeling Good_
> 
> If I could fly by night, all would be peachy. Would pretty damn sure like some company at this point.


 Sorry I "exacerbated your intimacy cravings" (that's a nice, g-rated way of putting it lmao). It had been three years for me. Three long, lonely years. I honestly didn't know if I could again after what my last gf did. But, well, I guess her big "Fukc you" to me was reason enough after three years to just do it. Anyways I bring up the three years thing cos not everybody is having sex, Cali. It just seems like it. I had opportunities to have sex in the last three years, and I just chose not to for whatever reason. Which, I know, probably sounds really weird coming from a guy.

And I'm pretty sure you've probably had opportunities to hook up. You just chose not to, maybe you made a conscious decision? Maybe you sabotaged the situation? Idk.

Anyways, she won't commit cos....uhm...it's complicated. She's had a couple of very, and I mean very, abusive boyfriends. And there's other stuff on top of that. She's about as complicated as I am, probably more so.

The ones that I want, and I mean want to keep around forever, are always just slightly out of my league. Or crazy. Or both. Lmfao.

Hope you enjoyed your drive last night 

God I hope she comes over this week. As it turns out it would be really convenient for her, so if she doesn't show, then that means whatever we had (which wasn't much) is over *deep sigh*



KyleInSTL said:


> Sad that I lost my best friend. She would have been so proud of me if I could still share my day with her.


 I'm so sorry Kyle, I really am. I know that feeling all too well...I lost my best friend in the whole world three years ago, and I'm never going to see her again. I wish you nothing but the best, man...this is a really tough thing to get over. Wish I had better advice.


----------



## GangsterOfLove

Somewhat hopeful. I'm looking forward to the volunteer work I have ahead of me for the week and it looks like I'll hang out with a guy one of these days, too, who I just got back in touch with. Stressed out because of all the homework I have, though.


----------



## Kevin001

Hopeless, I'm just so lost.


----------



## calichick

TenYears said:


> Sorry I "exacerbated your intimacy cravings" (that's a nice, g-rated way of putting it lmao). It had been three years for me. Three long, lonely years. I honestly didn't know if I could again after what my last gf did. But, well, I guess her big "Fukc you" to me was reason enough after three years to just do it. Anyways I bring up the three years thing cos not everybody is having sex, Cali. It just seems like it. I had opportunities to have sex in the last three years, and I just chose not to for whatever reason. Which, I know, probably sounds really weird coming from a guy.
> 
> And I'm pretty sure you've probably had opportunities to hook up. You just chose not to, maybe you made a conscious decision? Maybe you sabotaged the situation? Idk.
> 
> Anyways, she won't commit cos....uhm...it's complicated. She's had a couple of very, and I mean very, abusive boyfriends. And there's other stuff on top of that. She's about as complicated as I am, probably more so.
> 
> The ones that I want, and I mean want to keep around forever, are always just slightly out of my league. Or crazy. Or both. Lmfao.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed your drive last night
> 
> God I hope she comes over this week. As it turns out it would be really convenient for her, so if she doesn't show, then that means whatever we had (which wasn't much) is over *deep sigh*
> 
> I'm so sorry Kyle, I really am. I know that feeling all too well...I lost my best friend in the whole world three years ago, and I'm never going to see her again. I wish you nothing but the best, man...this is a really tough thing to get over. Wish I had better advice.


Sounds like you two are made for each other, I hope things work out...


----------



## Esteban

Happy


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i'm getting worse. any small frustrations quickly escalate to recurring thoughts of death. my ability to cope with stress is getting worse. i'm tired and have low levels of energy, although i don't sleep well. i hate, hate, hate school. sometimes i feel like death is a better option than staying in school. my life is just going to get worse and worse. i'm lucky that i don't have many responsibilities due to my age. i don't function properly. i'm always anxious. i'm always depressed. i want to sleep forever. i barely enjoy anything. i can't even cry anymore. the frequent self harm urges are horrible. if i go on medication, i'm going to have to deal with side effects that make me feel worse. i don't see therapy helping me. i feel hopeless, but i try to hold on to a small amount of hope that pushes me through. i don't know how i'd kill myself. i can't bear to think about it, i just have vague thoughts about death. 

it probably doesn't help that i've had three glasses of cola today, but i feel like **** right now. i don't know if i want to die. i can't be bothered. i can't be bothered with anything. the only reason i care about my grades is because i don't want to feel inferior. i got a horrible result on my legal studies test, but so did everybody else, so i don't care. all this homework is piling on and it makes me want to cry, but i can't.

maybe today will finally be the end of my longest period of dry eyes.

go away, thoughts of death.


----------



## slyfox

Tired. Have a lot I should be doing though


----------



## Yer Blues

Nervous.

I have to go a different Dr in the morning to get a Buspar refill. I've seen him once before, but unless I continuously go to him\them I never get comfortable.


----------



## SofaKing

Rejected, dejected, and unworthy.


----------



## slyfox

Frustrated


----------



## RubixQ

Angry.

Have you ever wanted to unleash hell's fury upon a person - completely destroying them - but stopped yourself because you're not that type of person or because it's your mum.

Yeah I'm stupid because I want to change my life. **** you mum.


----------



## LordSnow

Alright, can't complain.


----------



## Reckoner7

Boreddddddddddddddddddd.


----------



## DarrellLicht

Down on myself in some way naturally.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm doing ok for now.


----------



## SofaKing

Absolutely exhausted from a monumentally cruddy day at work...and it isn't even over...and I still have to drive 75 miles "home" to my empty room. Oh gods of probability and statistics, deliver me from further pain.


----------



## beffa

sad


----------



## Nekomata

Drunk. Conflicted.


----------



## slyfox

Without energy and sore


----------



## SofaKing

TenYears said:


> I'm so sorry Kyle, I really am. I know that feeling all too well...I lost my best friend in the whole world three years ago, and I'm never going to see her again. I wish you nothing but the best, man...this is a really tough thing to get over. Wish I had better advice.


Thanks, man...I honestly can't fathom the pain you've had to endure and I'm almost a bit ashamed to even think mine would be comparable. I agree that there isn't any advice, really...it's not that you don't have the wisdom to offer, but that there really isn't anything that can fix it, but time...and perhaps Alzheimers.


----------



## TabbyTab

Ashamed

I can't believe I've let my trichotillomania get this bad. I feel disgust every time I look in the mirror at my eyes, yet I can't stop because I'm curious as to how many hairs I have left. Not to mention im losing my hair on my head as well, which is not due to trich. Alopecia? **** diet? Idek anymore. I'm just counting down the days till I'm a hairless rat.


----------



## slyfox

Lazy. Also having knee and back pain which isn't making me want to work on things anyway


----------



## Kevin001

I feel great for the first time in weeks.


----------



## SofaKing

Kevin001 said:


> I feel great for the first time in weeks.


Glad to hear it! I hope it continues.


----------



## Nekomata

High as a kite.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

like i should die.


----------



## shelbster18

I'm cool and I'm calm so I don't need a chill pill. At least it's not the calm before the storm kind of feeling but it's that good calm feeling.


----------



## SofaKing

obsolete, irrelevant, worn out, tossed out.


----------



## Astrofreak6

Meh..


----------



## slyfox

Nauseous


----------



## Kevin001

Currently.... lost and confused


----------



## RubixQ

Conflicted

Please hate me


----------



## Citrine

Like a piece of poop.


----------



## Quirky

A little sick and disgusted for some reason.


----------



## Crisigv

Not so great


----------



## kivi

Hopeful for now.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

slightly hopeful but also slightly frustrated


----------



## ShannonTheLittleOwl

Like this.


----------



## SofaKing

"It's not the end of the world. "

Oh yeah, what if it is to me?


----------



## shelbster18

Confused. I don't know if my friend likes me. He said that one day he wants to take me to a club and get me drunk and I'm taken. That raises a red flag.


----------



## Jcgrey

I really don't know. I feel sad. But I shouldn't


----------



## Crisigv

lonely


----------



## Canadian Brotha

lost & lonely


----------



## SofaKing

That I lost out on the best person I could have hoped to have in my life.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Not too bad, actually. I got my school photo back today as well as a sheet that had the photos of everybody else in my grade too. My school photo is surprisingly not too terrible. Yeah, my smile looks weird and my eyes look slightly uneven, but I guess everybody has their appearance flaws. I was kind of glad to see that I wasn't the most pale person. 

I'm sure I'll be back to feeling crappy later but I feel alright at the moment.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Lost, depressed and monotonous. I feel like this is it, it doesn't get better. I go to prison everyday to get my sh*tty paycheck to feed myself until I die. My existence is completely meaningless and nothing exciting or different will ever happen and there's nothing I can do about it.


----------



## KoolKat

Nothing changes. The same thoughts...just wishing it was over. I have no desire to live in this world. I don't connect with anyone, I don't have any money to go to a goddamn psychiatrist who can give me some drugs to numb me. I don't want to do this whole school, work, die stuff. I can't even cry even though I am so miserable.


----------



## Spindrift

Restless and indecisive.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

paranoid.


----------



## slyfox

Cold and tired


----------



## garip kont

isolated


----------



## mcmuffinme

Hopeless


----------



## SunshineSam218

I feel pretty calm right now.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed, work has been an absolute gongshow today


----------



## Kevin001

Tired and hungry.


----------



## GGTFM

Depressed.


----------



## MoveAlong91

I want to fight my SA and kill it, and then all of my future posts here will be happy ones.


----------



## marcel177

Lonely as always


----------



## SofaKing

Tortured. She knows we belong together, but won't take a chance.


----------



## probably offline

Extremely bored.


----------



## gloomy

bored&lonely


----------



## Flora20

sad and tired -.-


----------



## SvanThorXx

I actually feel alright today. I'm pretty glad it's Friday.


----------



## Kevin001

ok, for now.


----------



## tea111red

i'm feeling embarrassed thinking about past stuff i've said and done, lol. i need to put bleach on that part of my brain.


----------



## slyfox

Like I don't want to do anything, when I still have a ton left to do


----------



## Zyriel

Empty so very empty. Like you want to feel sad, but instead feel weak or something, body just feels so damn heavy and fingers feel so light. Maybe I'm just dehydrated or something.


----------



## SuperSky

Lonely for no bloody reason. Yeah, **** me, right? Right. GOOD. GREAT. GRAND. WONDERFUL. NO YELLING ON THE BUS.


----------



## SvanThorXx

I feel fine as of right now.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonable


----------



## Astrofreak6

Meh.. lazy as always..


----------



## slyfox

Hungry. Guess having a snack before I work on some stuff


----------



## shelbster18

Aggravated. My friend makes me get up to go get something for him. I'm not his servant. Lol I'm not that lazy and I'll do it but I'm not his ****ing maid.


----------



## SofaKing

I wonder if she wished I would just fade away since I can't let go. I'm just an annoying reminder.


----------



## Flora20

Lonely and bored -.-


----------



## Fat Man

I'm feeling hyper...


----------



## CWe

Very regretful and sad


----------



## copper

Fed up with hurting all over, fatigue, and brain fog. Being treated for hypothyroidism. Was getting better until a couple of weeks ago when all this muscle and joint pain flared up. Called the doc office and went to get blood test to check thyroid level. I also had them to do a vitamin d level since everyone that lives here id low due lack of sun in the winter. Can't hardly do anything due to the pain. It had been tough getting through a 40 hour work week.


----------



## SuperSky

****ing great. Amped as. Solo-dance-party-in-my-bedroom great. Perfect mood for... bedtime :/


----------



## SofaKing

Going through the motions of living...all the zest I had when I imagined a rich future is gone. This hollow shell needs to figure out how to keep pressing on after realizing a life he wished for is unobtainable.


----------



## CJanene

RadnessaurousRex said:


> Tired and sleepy &#128564;
> 
> What music festival is this?


Oh it was the Pot of Gold Music Festival in Tempe


----------



## probably offline

Guilty and useless.


----------



## joko

Beating my head against a wall trying to accomplish something based on chance. :|


----------



## slyfox

Cold and shaky. Just want to go back to bed.


----------



## kivi

I feel good but I am a bit bored.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

not impressed.


----------



## tea111red

irritated.


----------



## Zyriel

Tightness in the chest, and chills down my spine, making me twitch o_o


----------



## eveningbat

Zyriel said:


> Tightness in the chest, and chills down my spine, making me twitch o_o


Sounds like it might be a beginning of a cough.


----------



## hanzitalaura

Tired, depressed and fed up.


----------



## KoolKat

Extremely sleepy and bored. Nighty night.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Like it's time to get serious about finding a new job. I could to the same thing somewhere else, get paid more, and work with people who are mature.


----------



## uziq

unusually zen, the feeling will probably fade in an hour or so when everyone wakes up and the silence ends


----------



## Kevin001

Sick, my stomach hurts..... again.


----------



## slyfox

My lower back is in a lot of pain. Tired, but have stuff I need to do later


----------



## kivi

Tired


----------



## CJanene

RadnessaurousRex said:


> LUCKY!!!
> 
> If I only knew about it sooner, I would have sooo been there. Kinda facepalming myself now cos I missed out and Tempe isn't even far from me :/. Is this one gonna be a yearly thing?


Yeah, it happens every year I guess. I'm new to the state so this was the first one I went to. This year they extended it to four days with a different genre and theme each day. Not to rub it in but it was pretty awesome


----------



## Kalliber

I feel pretty good right now actually xD


----------



## CJanene

RadnessaurousRex said:


> I'm jealous and sad at the same time lol. That line up, Kendrick Lamar, Bastille, AWOLNATION, Fall Out Boy ughh. Definitely checking it out next year then, for now I'll just stick with Coachella


Coachella?? How much were tickets for that? POG tickets were $50 each...


----------



## CJanene

RadnessaurousRex said:


> $375 general admission + $85 bucks for car camping sooo $460 lol. It's a real bish to get tickets though, they sell out crazy quick.
> 
> Here's the lineup this year...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Three days of music goodness :boogie


Yeah the price is waaaaay out of my budget. The lineup isn't bad but it also isn't great. You going on all of the days or just some?


----------



## CJanene

RadnessaurousRex said:


> I agree, last years line up was way way better though imo but whatevz, still going for the hell of it. I'll be there for all three.


Very cool. I hear Coachella is crazy so I am very jealous. I hope you have tons of fun


----------



## shelbster18

Pissed out of my mind. I can't take all this major drama. Everytime I try to make friends with a girl, something bad always has to happen. It was one of my few chances to be her friend. She was nice and seemed like she enjoyed talking to me.


----------



## microbopeep

This has been an interesting month for me. A little exciting, along with some self-reflection.
Me and bf have been trying to campaign for a community cause and meanwhile, part of me has fallen back in like with a guy who actually cared enough to contact me to tell me that he hoped I would feel better--and I'm sure he saw those tweets back on Feb 26 when I put myself down harshly on Twitter.


----------



## Esteban

strong, stable, and full of vitality


----------



## KILOBRAVO

a bit tired. but otherwise ... reasonably OK.


----------



## zonebox

I'm not really sure, I think I feel a bit disconnected right now. Wish I could talk to someone who could relate, but there are a variety of emotions mixing their own blend of weirdness, and I lack the desire to fully express it at this time.

I think it has to do with getting only three hours of sleep, that tends to put me in this strange state.


----------



## kivi

So tired


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Slightly starstruck in a weird, bitter kind of way.


----------



## SunshineSam218

I'm pretty wide awake right now. I can't seem to get to sleep right now.


----------



## Crisigv

Very alone


----------



## ShatteredGlass

A bit anxious. Slightly depressed. Those damn parent teacher meetings are tomorrow, and I'm not looking forward to them. At least I have a two week break from school, but I'm just going to be lonely and depressed for two weeks, with minimal hope of getting a prescription during the time. A lot of homework to do too. :/ I see my therapist tommorow, so hopefully I might get a referral or something to see a psychiatrist. Fingers crossed. 

I'm getting more and more bothered by the sheer frequency of my suicidal thoughts. I think about death upwards of 10-15 times a day and I hate it. I need help.


----------



## slyfox

Tired but shouldn't sleep unless it is only a short nap


----------



## microbopeep

I should take a nap. Haven't slept in hours. I just got done talking to some friends on AIM. One of which, is the guy who has been in my thoughts lately ( and I said this a few posts earlier in this thread). Anyway, it's night 3 of getting back to chatting with him and he says some very revealing things (other than what I saw on his Twitter prior to the conversation)...

We get into these heavy intellectual conversations about life a lot and we started off talking about happiness, inner peace and the meaning of life hrs ago.

Which he surprised me in his tweets and repeated in the convo.

He said that life had no meaning and humans have no purpose.

That everyone dies and the ppl that miss us die and noone will be remembered for anything... ='(

And previously, I thought he was borderline religious!
But turns out, he's a cynic like ME...( and kinda my boyfriend, a cynic too)!

Only thing, his cynicism surpasses mine and usu I like to think that we have a purpose in this life on my good days.

He sounded like me on my worse days, when I thought I had no purpose whatsoever.

Depressed.

Maybe he's depressed. ='[

It got me feeling all types of ways right now. Good thing I don't cry easily...or I'd cry a river.

It breaks my heart. </3

And now I'm wondering how to make him smile...


----------



## Kevin001

Tired and nervous, I have to see my therapist later.


----------



## kivi

Bored


----------



## Citrine

Irritated


----------



## slyfox

Dead tired and almost falling asleep in my chair



microbopeep said:


> I should take a nap. Haven't slept in hours. I just got done talking to some friends on AIM. One of which, is the guy who has been in my thoughts lately ( and I said this a few posts earlier in this thread). Anyway, it's night 3 of getting back to chatting with him and he says some very revealing things (other than what I saw on his Twitter prior to the conversation)...
> 
> We get into these heavy intellectual conversations about life a lot and we started off talking about happiness, inner peace and the meaning of life hrs ago.
> 
> Which he surprised me in his tweets and repeated in the convo.
> 
> He said that life had no meaning and humans have no purpose.
> 
> That everyone dies and the ppl that miss us die and noone will be remembered for anything... ='(
> 
> And previously, I thought he was borderline religious!
> But turns out, he's a cynic like ME...( and kinda my boyfriend, a cynic too)!
> 
> Only thing, his cynicism surpasses mine and usu I like to think that we have a purpose in this life on my good days.
> 
> He sounded like me on my worse days, when I thought I had no purpose whatsoever.
> 
> Depressed.
> 
> Maybe he's depressed. ='[
> 
> It got me feeling all types of ways right now. Good thing I don't cry easily...or I'd cry a river.
> 
> It breaks my heart. </3
> 
> And now I'm wondering how to make him smile...


I tend to feel the same way about life being meaningless and can be depressing to those around me. One positive way I try to look at it, is that it frees us up to choose our own purpose.



Kevin001 said:


> Tired and nervous, I have to see my therapist later.


Good luck with your appointment



Citrine said:


> Irritated


Hope things get better


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonable


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Displeased. My therapist missed my appointment and failed to answer my phone call and text. My mom wants to get me a referral to see another psychologist, but I don't want to see another psychologist. I want a psychiatrist. Why? Because I want actual, legitimate treatment. This psychologist has been consistently sub-par, and it's left a bitter taste in my mouth for counselors in general. Useless.

****ing bull****.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless, unfocused, warm


----------



## Kevin001

Not to hot, bad headache.


----------



## tea111red

ugly/undesirable. i dunno why i can never attract anyone i'd be interested in.


----------



## ConfusedMuse

like ****. Not that anyone cares.


----------



## ShadowHunter929

Sad and aggravated. Lonely as well...


----------



## tea111red

anxious
tired
depressed


----------



## VisualAttraction

Anxious and depressed as hell. Have an interview next week and I got in a massive argument with my parents that started because of something stupid I said. Can't sleep and it's 4 am. Good thing I have no job and no school...


----------



## SvanThorXx

Emotionally drained, but somehow hanging in there.


----------



## slyfox

Dead tired


----------



## vienuma

Hopeless


----------



## KILOBRAVO

tired a bit...... but mostly ok.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired/lazy, bored, chilly from the air conditioning in here


----------



## TabbyTab

Bad because I take frockin forever to reply to people on here >((((


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Pointless.


----------



## Cmasch

Pretty good, I had a stressful situation that is now over for now....


----------



## Fat Man

I'm feeling pretty happy now that my birthday is done and over with


----------



## TenYears

Really kind of low. April is almost here. I hate, hate, hate that whole month because it means the anniversary is coming up. I just....still don't know how to even deal. It's like a nightmare that every time you wake up from it, you realize it's real, it's very real, and it's never going to go away. And no one, no one can help me. I'm completely and totally on my own with this, and I don't know how to help myself get through it, I'm so, so lost.


----------



## SwerveMcNerve

Unhappy.


----------



## Michael77

Feeling lonely, without real friends, terribly misunderstood by everyone, even my family and horrible because of trying to hide my feelings every day.


----------



## Michael77

Feeling lonely, without real friends, terribly misunderstood, even my family and horrible because of trying to hide my feelings every day.


----------



## kivi

Sleepy and bored. I am at my grandparents' house. We will celebrate my little cousin's birthday.


----------



## slyfox

Tired and not like doing all the work I still need to do today


----------



## tea111red

Smothered.


----------



## Cmasch

Pretty blah at the moment, but that's a lot of the time.


----------



## Andras96

I'm feeling just fine!! Nothing like finally realizing that people will NEVER like you and that all of your efforts mean NOTHING


----------



## Kevin001

Hopeless


----------



## HenDoggy

I feel pretty darn good... Who am I kidding I feel like ****


----------



## BackToThePast

I feel indecisive about how I should be feeling, but that probably means I feel indecisive.


----------



## momentsunset

cold but too cheap to turn on the heater


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Dumb as hell.


----------



## Quirky

Awake and calm, oddly enough.


----------



## nameless3903787489796

Slightly better than earlier. I was feeling really moody earlier because I always care about my friends and they never really care about me. I feel really jaded and disappointed in people sometimes but I'll be ok soon. I promise I'll stop wasting my time on them and start moving on.


----------



## kivi

Anxious and distracted


----------



## microbopeep

Happy. Sprung. In love even tho I have a bf... =x


----------



## Kevin001

Unattractive


----------



## PandaBearx

Dissociated


----------



## Mrs Salvatore

My hands shake whenever I have to call my dad. I have to pace while on the phone.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling pretty envious of my brother, who is out with his friends right now.


----------



## MCHB

Hyper. Might have something to do with the pot of coffee. The room appears to be vibrating, but that might just be me! :yes


----------



## ev29

Frustrated with myself for missing lectures this morning. Nervous about going to class this afternoon because I don't know the material well enough. Annoyed that now my friends are going to be asking where I was and what I was doing this morning instead of being at class - and all I've been doing is sleeping and now hiding in my room on SAS because if I go out my sister will judge me for not being at uni when I said I was going to go last night. Ughhh. I keep trying to improve myself but I'm obviously not trying hard enough. I need to find some extra motivation or change something that will stop this vicious cycle.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Like roadkill. Dumb and trash.


----------



## TenYears

Anxious, uncertain, upset, down, depressed, unsure, heartbroken, hopeless, incomplete, sad, regretful, unvalued, worthless, broken, damned, condemned, abandoned, f-ed over, hurt, broken, damaged, gone, forgotten, overlooked, slighted, burned.

Left in the gutter, like garbage, for the flies.

I am totally, 100% a waste of human skin.


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable and hopeless


----------



## LonerJohn

like a loser...


----------



## Mxx1

Tired and hopeless


----------



## blacklist

Terrible. I had a class presentation in uni today and had a massive panic attack in front of the class.It was so bad I almost had to run out. thankfully i pulled myself together and finished it. I had a midterm right after that was extremely difficult and I could barely think straight due to anxiety. I cancelled a meeting later on because I felt too full of anxiety to go. I feel like an idiot for freaking out so much over nothing. I just want an enjoyable life that is not so plagued with anxiety. i feel like i'd be so much further in life...


----------



## TenYears

dontwaitupforme said:


> I can assure you, you're not. By reading a few of your posts here, that girls intentions were based on one thing and one thing only. I don't think it's as common in women, but for those that have these relationships, tend to have the same mindset as the men who want them too.
> 
> Think of it as having a bit fun and letting your hair down for a while.. Or at least a little experience being in said situation. Sometimes we burn ourselves without realising.
> 
> Once your ready to pick yourself back up from how your feeling now, you'll eventually get to meet a more stable woman with similar priorities when it comes to wanting a committed loving relationship. Something genuine you can put yourself into fully. It just might take a bit of trial and error to get there.
> 
> Youll bounce back from this, stay strong


Thank you, everything you said means a lot, seriously. Maybe you're right. I've gotten too attached.

Today I was brushing her off a little bit, without even thinking about it really, sort of subconsciously almost. We weren't working together today, so we were texting, and she sent me a text that made absolutely no sense. It was early, guess she wasn't quite awake lol. So I said "sweetie, you're not making any sense, wtf are you talking about"? She texted me later on and I just put the phone back in my pocket, texted her back a couple hours later. She has to know something's wrong. I'm getting tired of being treated this way. She called me a little while later and I ended the conversation a few minutes later cos I had something to do (I really did, but I also really didn't want to talk anymore).

Yeah, maybe I just need to enjoy it for what it is. But ya know, I'm not really sure what it is lol.

Thank you again....yeah, you're right. Just need to bounce back and stay strong.


----------



## SupaDupaFly

Tie..... rrd


----------



## dontwaitupforme

TenYears said:


> Thank you, everything you said means a lot, seriously. Maybe you're right. I've gotten too attached.
> 
> Today I was brushing her off a little bit, without even thinking about it really, sort of subconsciously almost. We weren't working together today, so we were texting, and she sent me a text that made absolutely no sense. It was early, guess she wasn't quite awake lol. So I said "sweetie, you're not making any sense, wtf are you talking about"? She texted me later on and I just put the phone back in my pocket, texted her back a couple hours later. She has to know something's wrong. I'm getting tired of being treated this way. She called me a little while later and I ended the conversation a few minutes later cos I had something to do (I really did, but I also really didn't want to talk anymore).
> 
> Yeah, maybe I just need to enjoy it for what it is. But ya know, I'm not really sure what it is lol.
> 
> Thank you again....yeah, you're right. Just need to bounce back and stay strong.


My honest opinion is to trust your gut feeling. Once things begin to cause you any doubts/upset/hurt.. That's usually a good indicator of where this relationship is going.

I wouldn't take this (although you might, as you have genuine feelings for her) too personally. She seems like a woman who probably doesn't want to settle right now in her life, for whatever reason. But wants to enjoy having fun and fooling around with you.

I think you'll bounce back in time, once your ready and have come to some sort of conclusion of what you think this might be. Another tip Id give you (one id take myself) is not to put all of your eggs into one basket, until you are sure it is the legit thing and you know it feels right for you.

Best of luck on however you decide to play things. :squeeze


----------



## catcharay

Disgusted w myself. Just ate one of those big stupid chocolate bunnies all on my own and 2 min noodles, because I wanted something hot. Been eating lots of canned food but tbh tinned spaghetti is kind of nice, though I'm not going as far to say it surpasses home cooked spaghetti. Need to redress my diet; feel so bad, not to mention ugly and fat. 

This experience will probably be a good one at the end of the day as I'm usually cocooned within myself - like a bubble boy. It's testing because I am sort of a germaphobe but there are many other aspects which is v peaceful and beautiful - like I camped by the lake w my love and the scenery was spellbinding and absolutely unbeatable. But I still miss home cooked food!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Slight beer buzz, unsatisfied & unfulfilled


----------



## kivi

Annoyed


----------



## tea111red

Bored. I want to chat.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

yuck

i dont even know anymore. who or what am i?


----------



## PandaBearx

Sad


----------



## SofaKing

Sticking IVs like a BOSS!


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly fine I suppose.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry, bored, & restless


----------



## Smallfry

Tired ready to sleep


----------



## blue2

Feelin fine


----------



## Cmasch

Feeling good, after some coffee of course... lol


----------



## Flora20

Annoyed, tired and sleepy


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Annoyed, jealous, and tired.


----------



## RubixQ

Tired, feeling like another headache is coming.

I hate feeling ill


----------



## eveningbat

My neck feels very strained.


----------



## microbopeep

Still in love...=X


----------



## Mxx1

Just good right now.


----------



## thomasjune

The weekend is here and I got off of work early today... I feel good.


----------



## vienuma

I feel calm. Such a nice and quiet Friday's evening at home...


----------



## eveningbat

Neck tension has grown into a headache again.


----------



## Batcat

Feeling pretty meh. I wish I could call someone up and we could watch a movie together, oh well.


----------



## Brad

empty


----------



## Shockwave The Logical

Pretty OK.


----------



## slyfox

Dead tired and defeated. Feeling everything is hopeless.


----------



## KoolKat

Like I don't want to keep going. How do I escape? I have no motivation or desire to do anything nor talk to anyone.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Depressed. I can't wait to be sleeping again. How can I be tired despite getting 8 hours of sleep?


----------



## microbopeep

I still feel good. I just wish the best for everyone here. I hate that you guys are down...


----------



## slyfox

Dead tired and sore


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Not too bad, considering ive had a bit of a crazy few days. Tired and could do with a cuddle for an hour.


----------



## Compwear

Tired, upset and blue. Yet again I get to experience why crushes is called just that.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry, annoyed, restless


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly fine I suppose..... mostly relaxed i think.


----------



## vanilla90

Tired. Horny. Energetic. Odd.


----------



## Ladysoul

Ew at last night


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like ****. Tired but not enough to sleep, mild headache on and off, too warm, lonely yet antisocial, like a bad friend


----------



## SunshineSam218

I feel quite sad right now.


----------



## slyfox

Tired and not like doing anything today. Must be a bad son because I would be glad if my parents weren't having me over for dinner today


----------



## Malek

I'm always tired, tired of life really... Tired of work, trying to socialize, so darn tired.


----------



## Mxx1

Just tired, had to wake up at 4 am today. I don't know if i should just sleep or stay awake :/


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Horrified.


----------



## Nekomata

High and hungry.


----------



## kivi

Useless


----------



## Kevin001

Confused and lost.


----------



## TabbyTab

just tired of everything ughhhhjjjj


----------



## slyfox

Dead tired and don't want to do anything


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry, restless, bored, chilly


----------



## Kevin001

Depressed and frustrated


----------



## Flora20

Sad and alone just feel like giving up.


----------



## tea111red

horrible.....really lonely and self-destructive. i wish i had a real life.


----------



## Andras96

Not good. My thoughts are running rampant and the only thing I can do is just type this.


----------



## forgetmylife

neither good nor bad

little tired

feeling like I'm spending too much time on here lol


----------



## slowlyimproving

Flora20 said:


> Sad and alone just feel like giving up.


Sorry to hear that. I hope things get better for you.


----------



## HenDoggy

hungry


----------



## forgetmylife

HenDoggy said:


> hungry


eat!


----------



## tea111red

unlucky
restless
agitated

i really want my life to change.


----------



## kivi

I am sleepy and I feel like I'm in a dream.


----------



## slyfox

sore and not like doing anything. Unfortunately I have a lot to do


----------



## rdrr

Murrrrrrrrr


----------



## herk

i shampooed my beard today


----------



## TabbyTab

Bored


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A little chilly with a mild headache


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly fine. a bit sleepy again.


----------



## tea111red

I feel okay. No telling what direction my mood will go in later, though, lol.


----------



## TabbyTab

Super cute bc I just exfoliated my lips and they're so smooth and soft and my face is so clear and nice eeee


----------



## tea111red

Bored. Not good, whenever I get bored, disaster is usually around the corner.


----------



## tea111red

ehhh. i wish i had people that were warm and caring in my life. nurturing, too.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Not too bad. Better than yesterday, although I'm still vaguely depressed. School is coming, and fast. The evil starts on Monday, and today is Wednesday already. I still have quite a bit of homework, some of it I've basically dismissed to instead do during some free periods, and maybe during the athletics carnival that takes place soon after the term's beginning. I've got to finish my psychology stuff which shouldn't take too long, and I'm meant to find an advertisement for my upcoming oral presentation. As for my biology and legal studies work, I might do some of it this coming weekend.. depending on if I'm feeling willing to get off my a $ $ to do it.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, lazy, & bored


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly fine.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Cranky and annoyed


----------



## microbopeep

Feeling like I probably should ask questions on another board lol


----------



## vienuma

Despite loneliness and hopelessness, both of which I'm used, I feel pretty good.


----------



## Drunky

Defeated and paranoid.


----------



## Andras96

I feel like crying right now, I just want to cry


----------



## Crisigv

quite lonely


----------



## Wylini

Anxious, and a little sick.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like ****


----------



## slyfox

Like a crazy failure


----------



## Persephone The Dread

slyfox said:


> Like a crazy failure


ditto


----------



## Batcat

Feeling so tired, my voice still hasn't fully recovered from drinking last night.


----------



## Kevin001

Good for the first time in a while.


----------



## BillDauterive

Unhappy, depressed. Mostly being triggered by reading about other depressed, suicidal and forever alone guys here and elsewhere. Especially I get depressed reading the "ForeverAlone" subreddit at reddit.com.

All this negative energy, negative depressive "circlejerking" doesn't help but to get me more down.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Physically a bit tense. I'm in need of a good stretch and a hot shower. Mentally pretty upbeat. Got a light beer buzz and knowing I have 3 days off after 7 straight is brilliant


----------



## TabbyTab

Uncomfortable. I hate it when it starts getting warmer bc I just start sweating so much then I can't open my window bc stupid moths and crap will get in and that makes me paranoid like I want it to be fall already


----------



## ShatteredGlass

like a piece of ****

so apparently i dont deserve respect i guess


----------



## Flora20

Sleepy and tired


----------



## TenYears

Worthless. Just...totally, completely, like a waste of skin. I really should never have been born.

And I need to stop self-harming. But I can't.

I'm going to see my shrink today. And I need to just...keep it together. I can't let her know how bad I'm really doing. Everything is fine. It's all good, man. Life is beautiful.


----------



## RubixQ

Guilty.

I was at the library yesterday and sat beside an older woman who I see there sometimes. Another guy who is always there comes in and with the computers full loiters behind us. She's packing her things away, notices him and scrambles out the door. 

The guy could of had the decency to wait outside or in the main library. 

Anyway about half an hour later I leave and see that she is still there sat alone in the gardens. It hit me just seeing another person sharing the same loneliness as me and I thought about going over to her and saying hello to make her feel less alone. 

Instead I walked home.


----------



## MCHB

Tired; woke up from a 4 hour nap in a cold sweat with my heart rate through the roof! Gonna eat something, shower and probably go for a bike ride out in my usual playground later today; seems to help pacify the internal fire. It's been flaring up lately; need to put it to use!


----------



## kivi

Uncomfortable


----------



## Kevin001

Hungry.... I swear I've consumed over 6000 calories in the last couple of hrs but still hungry.


----------



## jblanch3

Kind of meh. I took the week off from my job, and was hoping to go out a few days and do random stuff, but it's been raining or heavily cloudy every day, doesn't exactly leave me with much drive to go out. And I RSVP'ed to a karaoke gathering with an SA group in NYC that I go to sometimes, and I don't know, I'm just not feeling it. I had the drive in the past to go out and do things, but I feel like that's starting to wane a bit. It's probably because I just turned 36 last week, and I'm resigned to the fact that the things I wished for out of life are just never going to present themselves, so I'm probably better off not exerting the effort anymore, and just staying home and watching TV or going on Playstation, or learning computer stuff, the things I actually enjoy doing.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored, restless, lonely, tense


----------



## slyfox

Tired, anxious to get going.


----------



## Kevin001

Lost and depressed.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Remorseful


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Happy


----------



## fossil

so tired..and lazy..


----------



## smurfs

Lonely, desperate, weakness, useless, bored


----------



## Persephone The Dread

This is probably stupid but I'm kind of worried about my friend, he's usually online everyday but hasn't been for three days now. It's unusual.

edit: just came online as I was writing this post


----------



## blue2

Like the world is trying to beat me the hell down


----------



## HenDoggy

dunno


----------



## Crisigv

My entire body hurts.


----------



## SofaKing

Being alive or feeling alive? Is one good enough, when you can't get the other?


----------



## Andras96

Hopeless. I just can't even describe how I feel anymore. I've tried SA groups only to realize that I can't even relate to other loners. What hope do I even have? Why do I expect some random person I meet or even someone on this site to give me a chance? Other people with anxiety can't even stand me.


----------



## Kind Of

I found a giant-*** spider in my kitchen and I am delighted. His body is the size of my thumbnail.

Do you want pictures of him, SAS?

Silly question, of course you do. He's great. Maybe I'll take some later.


----------



## TabbyTab

I feel like I'm suffocating


----------



## Unknown0001

Sick


----------



## Nekomata

Boooored..... *le sigh*


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit tired, didn't sleep great


----------



## kivi

Bored


----------



## Fat Man

I'm frustrated right now :/


----------



## KILOBRAVO

ok -ish . I suppose. reasonably OK. usually that is the best it gets for me.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## mcpon

A bit sad for no reason.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Depressed


----------



## Kevin001

Hungry


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I feel like absolute crap & I'm leaving for work in 10 minutes


----------



## RubixQ

Tired.


----------



## Andras96

I feel hated by nearly everyone. Who am I kidding, I am hated. Why else would people purposely avoid me? Why else would people give me the most disgusted facial expressions?

Ffs, I sound like a broken record. I just need to disappear for good and stop burdening everyone.


----------



## Penguinfan

Sad because I'm at home and not with other people my age.


----------



## Kevin001

Frustrated because my little sister is about to start dating and I've never dated...... can't give her advice.....just feels awkward.


----------



## cuppy

Kevin001 said:


> Frustrated because my little sister is about to start dating and I've never dated...... can't give her advice.....just feels awkward.


My younber sibling started dating before me too :I 
(close to a decade before I started, now that I think about it :lol)



Callsign said:


> I have felt ill and tired the last few days and my eyes are often knackered, maybe I need to use them less intensively for a while or something.


I feel this way when I go days without going outside.. Could it be that?


----------



## StaceyLaine14

Feeling empty and hollow right now. There are girls in the lobby outside my dorm talking, and I'm feeling strangely indifferent about it. It usually makes me feel bad about myself. Right now, however, I feel nothing. If I could be anywhere right now I'd be snuggling up with a guy in his bed. I'd love to feel secure and wanted right now. I don't feel bad. Just neutral in an unpleasant way.


----------



## Redcedar

Feeling like an idiot for almost anything I post online lately, I normally don't think I obsess about what others think about me but it's like I feel everyone rolling their eyes at me whenever I comment on FB or whatever. I seriously can't figure out how much of this is in my head since some of these people have reason to not like me and some I just feel like I'm not as funny/interesting/fun as them. Ugh! I have too many other things to worry about than this. Wish I was feeling better physically (pregnancy is kicking my butt) then I would just step away from the damn phone.


----------



## NO FRIEND

Crying


----------



## michaljohnson

I feeling very Sad this time. My Parents are very Angry with me. They do not want to see my Face anymore. Please Suggest me that what should i do for Won their Heart again as early as possible.


----------



## i just want luv

Hello goo'd michaljohnson. As long as you did not murder their pet bird Pigeon that was the only remains of their devotion to peace and love, you will not have to win any hearts. Smile and eat healthy. Be a smiling person. Ride the riverboat of forgiveness and pet the crocodiles. Hug them and they'll hug you back.

If this has helped you then thank those crocodiles. And don't forget to smile. And if those lovely creatures dig into your chest, don't fight it. But it may be best if you gave more specifics on why these green lovable kissers are in such a poopy mood.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sick, cold, & tired


----------



## nubly

I wish I had taken my education seriously when I was younger.


----------



## RubixQ

This exhaustion has come out of nowhere. I hope it doesn't mean another headache.


----------



## TabbyTab

Exhausted. I just wanna sleep


----------



## Flora20

Hungry and very tired.


----------



## Lonelyguy111

*Pooped and Exhausted - TIRED !!!*

*TIRED !!!*
:yawn:yawn:yawn

*Time for beddy bye.* :fall


----------



## BelowtheCurrent

Frustrated with myself, and sad.


----------



## tea111red

stressed!!!!!!!!


----------



## thomasjune

Very tired. I wish I could sleep for two days straight but I can't cause I have to get up early tomorrow morning.


----------



## slyfox

Dead tired. Stayed up too late. Today is going to suck


----------



## Mxx1

Sad, i really regret what i said and i just can't stop thinking about it.


----------



## Genos

hopeless


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I'd like a hug please. :3


----------



## kivi

Bored but better than yesterday


----------



## slyfox

Hungry and a little tired. Waiting for my chuck roast with potatoes to finish cooking


----------



## Crisigv

Very upset. I also have another headache.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Chemically imbalanced.


----------



## mcpon

Crisigv said:


> Very upset. I also have another headache.


Don't be upset. Just do like in that Sound of Music song and think of all of your favorite things to make that feeling go away.


----------



## Crisigv

mcpon said:


> Don't be upset. Just do like in that Sound of Music song and think of all of your favorite things to make that feeling go away.


Yeah, that doesn't usually work. Thanks for the thought.


----------



## thisismeyo

tired and tired and also down a little bit


----------



## cuppy

ShatteredGlass said:


> I'd like a hug please. :3


a few hours late but :squeeze


----------



## ShatteredGlass

cuppy said:


> a few hours late but :squeeze


thanks! :squeeze


----------



## eyre

Uncomfortable and disappointed


----------



## kivi

Nervous and anxious


----------



## eveningbat

Crisigv said:


> Very upset. I also have another headache.


Hey, sorry to hear that. What happened?


----------



## Crisigv

eveningbat said:


> Hey, sorry to hear that. What happened?


Doesn't really matter. Thanks though.


----------



## Rebw93

I had a good day today  I went to my lecture and chatted with my classmates (and didn't make a fool of myself).


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Intensely moody/annoyed


----------



## eyre

I ve just cried and my friends saw it :/
I cant stand being in school.i just cant focus on anything. How do you do that?


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Content with the meal I just cooked and slightly beer buzzed


----------



## Mxx1

Feeling ok at the moment.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Miserable


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A little rough given that I drank 7 strong beers last night but not the worst


----------



## RubixQ

Strangely social :sus


----------



## KILOBRAVO

more or less fine. maybe a little bit sleepy.... but otherwise mostly fine


----------



## TabbyTab

I feel like I'm killing my liver


----------



## uziq

Pretty good because I got a whole 9 hours of sleep, still tired tho but my mood is elevated nonetheless.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy, just woke from a nap


----------



## slyfox

Tired and overwhelmed


----------



## StaceyLaine14

slyfox said:


> Tired and overwhelmed


Ditto.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

It's starting to sink in.

I have to give a presentation on Friday in front of my entire english class.

The pressure. The eyes fixated on me. The judging minds scrutinizing. The what ifs. The doubts. The pounding heart. The sweating. The stuttering voice. The watery eyes. They will know.

I can only begin to predict the possible horrible outcomes of the most difficult presentation so far in my life. I don't know if I can do this. I'm one of the most silent people in my school. They're going to be even more critical due to this fact alone. 

I need help. This is too much.


----------



## Nekomata

Bored and lonely~


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Really bad.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

overwhelmed.


----------



## Kevin001

Hopeful


----------



## RubixQ

Scared.

It just hit me that once tomorrow is over I'll have nothing again.


----------



## Mxx1

Not good. Could be much better.


----------



## Malek

Bored, lost, tired, hopeless, lonely, sad...


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Sad


----------



## RubixQ

killahwail said:


> What you trying to say? What you afraid of ?


I have an appointment with the college and doctor which has kept me going over the last week or so. Once that goes I'm going to have to find some other purpose to get up in the morning.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed, anxious, restless, tense, tired, & depressed


----------



## BIB64

Canadian Brotha said:


> Annoyed, anxious, restless, tense, tired, & depressed


DITTO!!

Not doing so good today..glad i'm off tomorrow to regroup.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

a bit annoyed and frustrated. they didnt decide to take it further.


----------



## uziq

Canadian Brotha said:


> Annoyed, anxious, restless, tense, tired, & depressed


all of this


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy


----------



## Canadian Brotha

BIB64 said:


> DITTO!!
> 
> Not doing so good today..glad i'm off tomorrow to regroup.





uziq said:


> all of this


Seems we've caught some kind of emotional whirlwind unfortunately


----------



## slyfox

Like I don't want to do anything but sit home and wander the internet. Doesn't help that our cat decided to take a nap on my lap


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Intensely annoyed/irritated


----------



## MoveAlong91

I feel blessed and loved!


----------



## Kevin001

Bipolar...ugh.


----------



## eyre

Nervous...just about to go to school


----------



## slyfox

Miserable and like I want to die


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mild beer buzz & annoyed at the lack of solitude & the day I had in general


----------



## RubixQ

killahwail said:


> Yea I'm on the same boat pal. Trying to find purpose for getting up and leaving the house. Being out of school and work, and have 0 social life makes it hard.
> 
> Good Luck, I send my love and respects


Thank you and right back at ya buddy.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

a bit rejected and annoyed.


----------



## millyxox

Depressed. Going through a breakup is like going through the death of someone you loved...

The worst part is that I gotta go to work. I work in customer service and I'm forced to smile but I'm dying inside and these days I don't feel like smiling. 

I can't sleep and I refuse to eat. I'm not doing ok.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Canadian Brotha said:


> Annoyed, anxious, restless, tense, tired, & depressed


^^^Like that yet again


----------



## Fat Man

Anxious and Conflicted.



slyfox said:


> Miserable and like I want to die


Sorry to hear that friend, hope you feel better soon


----------



## Kevin001

Anxious


----------



## littlecupcake

Feeling like a mix of bittersweet happy-sad :blank:sighand confusion if that makes sense, if not that is ok.


----------



## vanishingpt

I don't know quite the right word to describe it, but I feel I am just off-centre. It's never the same feeling with each day that passes by. I feel destabilized, yet calm at the same time. It's this mix of anxiety and excitement with the reception approaching as things are coming to an end, and a new chapter begins.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Resigned and truly embarrassed.


----------



## slyfox

NanoStar SOUL said:


> Anxious and Conflicted.
> 
> Sorry to hear that friend, hope you feel better soon


Thanks  Already feel better. Was just feeling really down for a bit. Hope you are feeling better as well!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired and anxious


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bloated, tired, restless


----------



## Junebuug

I feel lonely, depressed, heartbroken, my body physically hurts at times as well. I'm embarrassed of myself, of how much time I've wasted hiding from everyone when I could've been meeting people and making friends.


----------



## VoM

Sick, really.


----------



## InimitableJeeves

Terrible.


----------



## uziq

normal for once


----------



## Cmasch

Bored, slightly lonely, just slightly


----------



## SummerRae

so sad


----------



## lockS

Felt pretty good after meeting up with friends all day, but now I'm back to my regular depressed self.


----------



## eyeseeyou

Today I screwed up a friendship so I'm not feeling so good.


----------



## PandaBearx

anxious


----------



## ShatteredGlass

bleh.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I can't even sing because I'm so overcome with emotion and crying.

I need to go down the road to pick up a parcel now though. I don't think I can without looking like a complete wreck.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

today I have felt unsettled and slight y more anxious..... and I dotn even know why. strange. sometimes you get weird days like that.


----------



## mattmc

Miserable.


----------



## SofaKing

Worried


----------



## uziq

mostly okay


----------



## normalsucksbutsodoesSA

thinking bout where to eat..


----------



## slyfox

crappy despite having a 5 hour nap


----------



## millenniumman75

tired. this is my chance to get some extra sleep, though.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I'm feeling fine. I'm pissed as all hell though.


----------



## Globe_Trekker




----------



## slyfox

Unappreciated and like things are unfair


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, lazy, & spaced out


----------



## tea111red

ehhh. indecisive. lost.


----------



## vsaxena

Ready to sleep courtesy two melatonins and a generic Unisom.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Less than great. Presentation tomorrow that I absolutely have to prepare for tonight. Too lazy. Too anxious. I need to start procrastinating less but that is far easier said than done.


----------



## SilentLyric

bored.


----------



## Cmasch

super tired


----------



## iamrabbit25

ShatteredGlass said:


> Less than great. Presentation tomorrow that I absolutely have to prepare for tonight. Too lazy. Too anxious. I need to start procrastinating less but that is far easier said than done.


God I hate those. Good luck!


----------



## tea111red

Like a big loser, lol. Very pathetic.


----------



## Kevin001

Sleepy....goodnight SAS.


----------



## BillDauterive

Not too good. 

I'm tired of seeing so many people kissing, having sex, getting partners, etc. with their eyes closed whereas I can't ever imagine getting any of those things in my entire freaking lifetime.

But I am sure some things I can do are also viewed as impossible by others but yeah.............. 




I'm gonna die without ever kissing, having sex, having a relationship at all.


----------



## TenYears

Blah.

No, ya know that doesn't quite do it justice. I really wish I'd never been born. I'm a waste of oxygen, a waste of skin. This was a mistake.

And I'm just gonna get a few hours of sleep, go to work, come home and feel the same way, and do it all over again.


----------



## LoneWolf14

Life's looking good for a change. Starting to deal and fix some of my issues.


----------



## tea111red

I just want my misery to end.


----------



## Fat Man

Stressed, big things are happening.


----------



## uziq

meh


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired/lazy/spaced out at work


----------



## rdrr

Tired, sleepy, low energy


----------



## SofaKing

Crestfallen


----------



## LoneWolf14

Lonesome


----------



## Kevin001

Abandoned


----------



## slyfox

Tired and overwhelmed


----------



## Genos

dead


----------



## tea111red

Good, I guess.


----------



## wrongguy

Ok right now


----------



## Fat Man

Unmotivated as usual.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly fine. but a few irritations exist because of the apparent attitude of others.


----------



## tea111red

I'm pretty anxious.


----------



## SofaKing

Me, myself, and jrate. I can do alone. I can't do lonely.


----------



## Lonelyguy111

I feel:

Forgotten
Lonely
Scared
Worried
Useless
Like a Failure
Like and Outcast
Left Out


----------



## Crisigv

forgotten


----------



## TenYears

Worried.

I seem to be going to some pretty dark places sometimes when I have flashbacks to...that night. I mean, flashbacks form my gf's suicide.

I seem to be snapping out of it, sort of. I haven't had any today. Well, OK, I've had a few.

But I seem to go somewhere else, for days sometimes. I mean, I just turn into someone else. I completely, totally shut down. I self-harm. I don't sleep. I don't talk. I don't eat. I think my gf was kind of worried about me. I push people away. Even her. She must think I'm just a total jerk. Idk. I'm not sure why she's even speaking to me at this point, tbh. I've been really, really distant. She's said so. We've talked about it. Sort of. I guess.

She still wants me to tell her what my ex-gf did, and I've decided that it's best that I just don't.

My gf (the one I have now, not the one I drove to suicide) says she misses me. We haven't seen a lot of each other lately. Because of the work situation. I miss her too. I really, really miss her. Anyways it kind of surprised me to see that she hadn't just left me, completely, at some point over the last few weeks. Because I don't know how I could have stayed with me. I was just. Not. There. I was in a really, really, really dark place. And, well, I still am. It's just come to a place somehow where I can push it back now, stuff it back into that place....where I stuff everything. If I have to.

I think I'm OK now, or, well, as OK as I can be, which is def not OK, but looking back at the last few weeks. it kind of scares me. It makes me wonder how lost I'll get the next time I get like that. When it gets close to the anniversary of the suicide ( around 4:00 am I think, 4/23/2012) I just lose it. It's out of my control. Sometimes when I have flashbacks they're pretty much isolated incidents, they might last just a few minutes, and the after-shock lasts just a few hours. Sometimes they seem to spiral out into a few days. They last time was a couple weeks. I think. Idk. I also lose track of time in them. Completely. It's a very, very weird, unpleasant, surreal kind of a nightmare thing to go through. I can't really describe it. I tried to, to my shrink once, and I swear to God he looked at me like I was from another planet. Oh well...it's just a really scary place to go, almost out of control. And when I go there, I cannot, cannot stop it. When it gets really bad. I don't know why I'm even writing this. I'm just venting. I'm sure everyone that's gotten this far, thinks I'm completely nuts.

I wonder sometimes. Seriously. If I'm losing my fukcing mind.

Maybe I am.


----------



## Kevin001

Lost......I just don't know what to do anymore.....do I even what to get better? Do I want a normal life?.....so confused.


----------



## i just want luv

I'm feeling like a mad hatter. Bring the bacon.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i suck.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

like a failure. clueless & dumb.


----------



## uziq

aight


----------



## SofaKing

That I'm pointlessly existing.


----------



## CWe

Angry at life really. So many emotions building up in my skinny being


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy & unmotivated


----------



## kivi

Bored and sleepy


----------



## Canadian Brotha

In need of a full body stretch session


----------



## tea111red

self-destructive.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm so tired right now, don't even know how I'm typing right now.


----------



## eveningbat

Lost and trapped.


----------



## slyfox

Fantastic  Something I was really depressed about worked out


----------



## tea111red

So horrible. I don't know what to do to feel better. Nothing distracts me very well.....most things feel meaningless and pointless to do.


----------



## slyfox

Sweaty and have back pain from gardening. Otherwise was a pretty good day


----------



## Methodical

Perpetually sad and miserable.


----------



## Charmander

Went from feeling panicky to a little bit accomplished. Looked at my timetable and realised I had an assignment in for the 5th of May. Managed to pretty much get it done overnight, it just needs tweaking tomorrow.


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Amongst other things, I keep really wanting to go for a walk in the country somewhere. Havn't actually been out of London for some years, and nowhere abroad in a decade for that matter. Because it's so huge, the place is obviously kind of claustrophobic


----------



## tea111red

Bored.


----------



## wrongguy

Anxious
Lonely
Lost
Dread


----------



## tea111red

Agitated.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired and spaced out


----------



## Kevin001

Depressed and Lost


----------



## tea111red

I'm just so, so, so tired of being disappointed at not being able to make any real friends or meet anyone I'd be interested in irl. So tired of this. I dunno why some people get "lucky" and make friends or meet someone so easily, while others don't. I don't have the energy to put so much energy into trying to meet people. I don't have much room to be disappointed because it'll throw me over the edge too much, mentally, experiencing it more. Things need to come easy, or at least easier.


----------



## tea111red

Really anxious.


----------



## TryingMara

Bored and tired.


----------



## Smallfry

Feel like I'm slipping back after seeing my mum in a state this morning


----------



## thomasjune

I feel great tonight.


----------



## slyfox

Tired


----------



## Crisigv

I feel great! Apparently working out does make you feel good. I like this feeling.


----------



## Andras96

Like crap, what's new. I spend every day ruminating about why I don't have a friend or two, but who would want to be my friend? Honestly, who the hell would want to spend time around me? I missed my chance. Everyone is working on improving their life while I sit here day after day wondering "why me?" while typing my thoughts on a ****ing mental health board. This isn't good, this isn't going to end good.


----------



## 3 AM

Blah.


----------



## LolaViola

Like happiness is just a distant memory. Like I try to help others as much as I can given my circumstances, but no one really gives a flying **** whether I live or die. Why do I even bother? Can't help having a heart, I guess.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

empty and bored. not looking forward to next sunday.


----------



## SofaKing

That it doesn't matter where my life's path may take me; it feels empty without a loved partner to share it with.


----------



## TabbyTab

Gross gross and more frixking gross f******kk


----------



## SofaKing

We sat what we say here, because if we said it on Facebook, our family would commit us.


----------



## SofaKing

Jeff271 said:


> kind of lazy, although I made my bed and tossed some laundry in. It's not exactly depression but low energy. I can tell because I leave dishes and cups around.. 2 bowls, a plate, 4 mugs. My family has been wanting to be social and I've been hiding away. I miss having a significant other. I've been craving malasadas.


I know this feeling...


----------



## TenYears

Anxious, lonely, depressed, sexually frustrated.

It's been nine days since my gf and I have seen each other. I really, really miss her. This sucks.

I can't wait to see her tomorrow. Gonna show up for work early, and try to have enough self control so that I don't strip her naked kiss her from head to toe and ravage her body right there in the parking lot before we clock in.

Dear God that woman has really got me. Right where she wants me I guess lol.

During the last week I've bought (most of it at her request):

more pantyhose to tie her up with (again, her request)
a bottle of whip cream
edible body oil
a feather to tickle her all over her body with
a blindfold

This sucks because I don't know if we'll be able to get any alone time anywhere. We'll be miles away from my apartment, and well, her place is out of the question. ***.


----------



## blue2

Isn't it interesting how one persons hell is another's journey


----------



## Kevin001

Right now I just feel fat, I've gained like 20lbs in the last month because of my meds. Time to start losing weight.


----------



## eveningbat

Like my feet floundering in the large galoshes stuck in the deep mud.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly fine. reasonable... not bad.


----------



## Flora20

Bored and really sleepy.


----------



## Crisigv

like complete garbage, I'm such a loser


----------



## ShatteredGlass

ashamed of existing.


----------



## SofaKing

Inconsequential, disposable, and irrelevant.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

not bad.... reasonable.


----------



## eveningbat

Overwhelmed with information and events of the day.


----------



## CWe

Like absolute [email protected]@!


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i'm sick and tired of school using me for all of its twisted games.


----------



## tea111red

trekard37 said:


> defeated, despondent. I kind of want to drop out... it seems like each year I lost a bit my motivation and now I'm all empty.


Despondent......that's a good word for me to use.


----------



## oku

tea111red said:


> Despondent......that's a good word for me to use.


+1


----------



## mattmc

pathetic, lonely, frustrated, sad


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i thought today mightve been a decent day.

no.


----------



## Genos

lonely. i'm always alone but i haven't had a problem with it in a while. it's starting to sink in again and i'm feeling kind of empty


----------



## monotonous

****, why do I have to be so ugly and poor


----------



## mcmuffinme

Like I'm dying.


----------



## uziq

bleh


----------



## Kevin001

Sick.....bad stomach pain.


----------



## slyfox

depressed and hungry


----------



## tea111red

anxious.


----------



## SofaKing

Utterly alone and meaningless.


----------



## kivi

Annoyed


----------



## Wylini

Lonely


----------



## Catelya

My eyes are streaming acid tears. I haven't pooped in three days. I need to mow lawns and a few other odious tasks.


----------



## eveningbat

Dealing with stress and fearing more stress.


----------



## eveningbat

kivi said:


> Annoyed


Why? What happened?


----------



## kivi

eveningbat said:


> Why? What happened?


Some people's ignorance


----------



## eveningbat

kivi said:


> Some people's ignorance


I see. It can definitely be annoying. :yes


----------



## Spritz11

Very Fragile.


----------



## Astrofreak6

Discouraged ;(


----------



## tea111red

Antsy.


----------



## booored

worse than ever! severely depressed because im lonely and cant even make a friend here on sas. i hate it. i hate being so alone. i hate seeing people here talking to each other. its so hard for me to post in threads and connect with people. i rarely do because i am so bad at socializing, even online! i have never felt this bad before.


----------



## tea111red

ruined.


----------



## Crisigv

hopeless


----------



## i just want luv

I feel like a million pennies triple-stacked on a thousand elephants with duper decked-out abs and fingernails, this elephant's a mean lean stud with no regard for friendship, no sir, give it the trunk and I mean the trunk with the junk and call it justice, because it'd be capital murder not to send Kate Upton and at least fourteen Big-Daddy models to this grey stud's savanna mansion for some muddy business, if you know what I mean, indeed this feeling runs on and creates mysterious walls, but if you look real hard, you might see that earth's most interesting elephant, we'll call him Habby Deesnuts, you'll see that Habby Deesnuts is married twelve times-over in each state and lake and all things cake, and can't be satisfied until he learns how to swim and duke it out with Floyd Money BlueWhaler and Manny Sharkiou for twelve rounds of patty cake and then blow up the earth while he's secretly been a celestial being from planet Big Tusks-n-Assets. Habby Deesnuts will make Trillions off of a copyrighted biography titled "I'm Stealing Yo Money, Why You Readin? LOLOLO." Then the very last tweet of mankind will be a selfie of Habby Deesnuts mud wrestling with Paris Hilton and Victoria Secret models # WastedOnSuccessBruhICantFeelMyLegs. Then humanity dies a dying death of existence and murder of killing killed decease-ness. So you see, I' am feeling neutral today.


----------



## tea111red

I feel okay, but I just drank a lot of coffee. So I think it's a false okay mood. I had to find some way to get some activity in my brain...


----------



## KILOBRAVO

my tongue still hurts ... its damned annoying !


----------



## Kevin001

Helpless.....just ready for all this to be over already.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed


----------



## TabbyTab

I feel like digging a hole and never coming out


----------



## tea111red

ick. stuck.


----------



## SofaKing

That I keep wasting time I don't really know that I have.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

guilty.


----------



## SofaKing

Used and discarded


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonably ok. but my lower back is a little stiff and sore.... plus that little damned ulcer on my tongue is still sore... but a slightly better


----------



## kivi

Bored


----------



## SofaKing

Mildly satisfied I finished another training run. On the other hand, it feels somewhat pointless to actively extend this empty life.


----------



## Perkins

My nagging headache won't stop and I feel weak too.


----------



## tea111red

Really anxious about the future.


----------



## Smallfry

Ready to crash


----------



## SofaKing

tea111red said:


> Really anxious about the future.


Yeah...I share this problem. I do my best to bring myself to the present by remembering my horrible track record for being able to count on anything in the future.

Sometimes, our futures are highly dependent on other people...and you absolutely can't depend on other people. Change happens too fast and completely out of your control.

We don't know if we even have a tomorrow...so while I have my own goals and desires, I'm honestly trying to focus on a very short term horizon to keep some level of sanity.


----------



## tea111red

KyleInSTL said:


> Yeah...I share this problem. I do my best to bring myself to the present by remembering my horrible track record for being able to count on anything in the future.
> 
> Sometimes, our futures are highly dependent on other people...and you absolutely can't depend on other people. Change happens too fast and completely out of your control.
> 
> We don't know if we even have a tomorrow...so while I have my own goals and desires, I'm honestly trying to focus on a very short term horizon to keep some level of sanity.


Well, right now I am just anxious about being possibly being admonished and being able to handle it/smooth things over/come back from things again. I am also anxious about having to potentially prepare for a "loss," and not getting a reference that I need.


----------



## SofaKing

tea111red said:


> Well, right now I am just anxious about being admonished and being able to handle it/smooth things over/come back from things again. I am anxious about having to potentially prepare for a "loss," and not getting a reference that I need.


I see...and I'd be anxious too even though you know in your heart, you have no control over the outcome.

I hope the feeling passes quickly.


----------



## tea111red

KyleInSTL said:


> I see...and I'd be anxious too even though you know in your heart, you have no control over the outcome.
> 
> I hope the feeling passes quickly.


Thanks.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired/lazy


----------



## ShatteredGlass

wow! spectacular! radical! more urges to hurt myself. just what i need. how great is school, amirite!?


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling sad and hopeless. Seeing my cousin's newborn baby girl and it being mother's day makes me sad that I will probably never be a mother.


----------



## tea111red

Like a caged animal, lol.


----------



## SofaKing

I didn't know exactly how worthless I was until someone confirmed it for me.


----------



## RubixQ

Like a failure :cry


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Completely disposable.


----------



## SofaKing

SamanthaStrange said:


> Completely disposable.


This x1000000. I'm sorry you're feeling this way too.


----------



## JustThisGuy

Agony.

I fell and opened up my hand. Part of my palm is missing. Again.


----------



## nubly

Sleepy


----------



## KILOBRAVO

today I have felt..... energetic, happy, bright, and i have been busy. I felt no anxiety when i was talking to that girl in the opticians, in fact i felt a bit confident and open  then I felt good driving about, and I felt more or less fine in the supermarket. ..... what has brought this on? i have no idea. but I hope to hell it lasts.


----------



## Crisigv

Still feel like poop


----------



## EvonneEzell

Quite perky...this is probably because of that stay awake pill I had.


----------



## TabbyTab

I feel like clingy trash


----------



## slyfox

Tired. Hope I can sleep well


----------



## Flora20

So sleepy


----------



## wrongguy

Tired, drained, guilty, empty.


----------



## tea111red

Almost motivated, ha.


----------



## meepie

Better than last night.


----------



## Bbpuff

Mixed emotions. Mostly restless.


----------



## Junimoon11

Happy that I'm feeling something, lol


----------



## pocketbird

Stressed. Itchy. Happy.


----------



## Kevin001

Very anxious......


----------



## TenYears

Anxious, very depressed, and very misunderstood. I swear I feel like an alien that just got dropped onto this planet by accident. I do not belong here. This was some kind of mistake.

And, she's not taking to me. I tell her I really miss her and want to see her, and she changes the subject to work.

This is just all so, so wrong. I do not belong in this life. Why am I still here???


----------



## Starrii

Lonely, sad, misunderstood.


----------



## Crisigv

Words can't even express how awful I feel


----------



## Kevin001

Kind of bad.....my family just got done arguing because of me.


----------



## tea111red

Anxious, on edge, and avoidant. I'm dreading having to do stuff I have to do and then having to recover from it.


----------



## shelbster18

Amused. My bf made me watch Dr. Phil. xD I can't stand that show.


----------



## Kiba

I always feel rather depressed but as of right now, a lot moreso than usual. I've had a large amount of harships as of late forcing me to reflect on a lot of of things.


----------



## slowlyimproving

........................


----------



## slyfox

Tired, overwhelmed, depressed, and like a failure


----------



## SofaKing

He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

well ****...


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like ****


----------



## SD92

I'm feeling ok now, and starting to get ready for bed. Felt miserable when I woke up and a bit down in the afternoon.


----------



## uziq

fat


----------



## tea111red

I feel like I'm getting dementia or some cognitive disorder, lol.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

slightly gross.


----------



## LoneWolf14

Running on and all time high of motivation/energy since I'm down to the last day or too of school for good, and bought a bunch new addons for my car. Little pissed I got half my car covered in oil from being on a road I had to take to work today.


----------



## tea111red

Worn down.


----------



## False Protagonist

Lonely. Rejected. I tried to socialize today but it's so difficult.


----------



## SofaKing

No longer viable.


----------



## SD92

I feel good right now but I've got bad feel I'll start feeling worse later. Hopefully I don't.


----------



## Srylance

Nearing expiration date.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

fine again. 4th day in a row... not feelign weird or anxious...... its good.


----------



## SofaKing

Rainy day...rainy life...rainy mood. Just got back from gym, but hasn't lifted my spirits. The rift in my soul from losing the most meaningful woman I've ever met has yet to begin to heal. I fear I'm ruined for future love. If all I want to do is share my life and love, what is left of my life.

I hope I meet someone that can make me feel again.


----------



## slyfox

Tired. Just want the roofing to be over with today


----------



## SD92

I still feel good. Much better than yesterday afternoon.


----------



## TryingMara

Very tired.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy, tired, depressed, lonely


----------



## Flora20

Really tired and a little sad -.-


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious
Sad
Lonely
Broken


----------



## StaceyLaine14

I kind of wish I lived in a romantic comedy. I'd really love to be someone someone else adored. I'd value the companionship. The attention. The praise. I'd really enjoy having my entire life revolve around an intimate relationship like that. School is a nice distraction, but my energy is running low. I can hardly focus on it these days. I just wish that I could fully envelop myself in someone else's affection. Have them near me constantly. I'd always be on their mind. They'd always be on my mind. They'd answer my fuggin' texts. And it'd all just be very lighthearted. Not intense. I wouldn't feel conflict or tension or pressure to make things work. We'd just be happy and have each other. 

I really hope living with my best friend next semester works out. Maybe he can keep my from feeling so lonely. God. What if he starts to see my uglier qualities and doesn't like me anymore...


----------



## StaceyLaine14

Still feel like I need a nice long cry. I'm having trouble finding something to be happy about. Plenty of good things going for me, but it's hard to feel happy about them.


----------



## tea111red

I really hate that self-criticism cycle that starts whenever I go into more detail and don't put things into words as well or organized as I would like to.

The feeling I'm feeling......I guess I would say "critical." Oh, and "obsessive."


----------



## tea111red

^And very much like a perfectionist.


----------



## Genos

i feel kind of great today. i don't know why, but it's nice.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like I want to go back to bed and forget existence for a little longer


----------



## KILOBRAVO

still more or less fine. a bit more relaxed and less worried or anxious. its been like this for a week now... hope it keeps continuing ...


----------



## millenniumman75

fabulous!


----------



## tea111red

disgusted.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling down. I'm stuck home all weekend, so it probably won't get any better. It's the long weekend and everyone is having fun. I don't get to have fun.


----------



## tea111red

I feel bad for saying some things to someone I shouldn't have said earlier.


----------



## thomasjune

I like Fridays. It means I don't have to deal with my coworkers for a few days.
I feel great right now.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

fine again. i have done a few things today.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Empty and alone. I just realise how different I am in many ways from most people, like how I react and feel/think about things.

I was feeling kind of down anyway but things kind of got amplified. Because I disagree with so many of my dad's opinions politically that if he brings stuff up now it's just like. 'Can we not?' because it's exhausting when it's someone I care about.

After I spoke to my dad on the phone, and he expressed he was happy with that guy getting the death penalty in the US (I didn't know about that,) I had this just overwhelming sense of sadness. I talked to my mum about it, and about how nobody can relate to me in this area and she was just like 'they can't understand how you're able to not feel upset about bad things'

And that's not right, because I don't want people to do bad things and hurt people at all, but, I just can't set aside my beliefs even if it's for someone who has done terribly bad things.

I often feel like I'm part of another species. And this is on top of the occasional neuro-chemical feeling of disconnection.


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Rather embarassed, just now.


----------



## Cmasch

Just okay, and I'm okay with that


----------



## JayDivision

Cool for right now.


----------



## SD92

Tired but still good.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious. Too much is out of my control right now


----------



## Odinn

Very scared, very depressed, very anxious, very much hoping I don't end up alone.
very, very scared.


----------



## i suck at life

horribly lazy...frustrated and tired


----------



## uziq

fat


----------



## SofaKing

Breathing in, breathing out...going through the formalities of existing as a living being...the true walking dead.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

KyleInSTL said:


> Breathing in, breathing out...going through the formalities of existing as a living being...the true walking dead.


That is a very strong description of how you are feeling. ? it sounds pretty sad. why,? what bothers you.?


----------



## SofaKing

KILOBRAVO said:


> That is a very strong description of how you are feeling. ? it sounds pretty sad. why,? what bothers you.?


Thanks for asking...Along with a general life numbness, I've got some other personal stuff that is further weighing on me. Like most of us, I desperately want to feel "alive" and enjoy aspects of daily life. At the moment, I'm just getting by, I guess. At least, I am, I guess.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

KyleInSTL said:


> Thanks for asking...Along with a general life numbness, I've got some other personal stuff that is further weighing on me. Like most of us, I desperately want to feel "alive" and enjoy aspects of daily life. At the moment, I'm just getting by, I guess. At least, I am, I guess.


HMM.. are you missing somethings that you desperately crave? or do you have things but you are not enjoying them .. you see them as a problem or chore that simply you have to cope with?

I find daily life mostly dull and boring.. I should have more to do and more to aspire to.. but the chances dont often present themselves. and sometimes my motivation is lower than it should be,....


----------



## SofaKing

KILOBRAVO said:


> HMM.. are you missing somethings that you desperately crave? or do you have things but you are not enjoying them.


Both...I'm missing someone, more precisely, and I'm not finding enjoyment or motivation to do much of anything else.


----------



## kam21

broken


----------



## Hikikomori2014

like a P.I.M.P.


----------



## slyfox

Tired and pathetic. I should work on more today instead of going back to bed


----------



## mr hoang

Feeling so lazy today. Been in bed all day watching hockey. Feel like i should get out and do something.


----------



## SofaKing

Like I'm getting kicked in the junk repeatedly.


----------



## TenYears

Anxious. I'm trying to keep my mind off her. I mean, I can't really stop thinking about her. But I need to stop obsessing about the talk we need to have tomorrow.

Just watched the Rockets v Clippers.

Think I'm gonna play Skyrim now. Or, maybe GTA IV. I feel like blowing some **** up.


----------



## LolaViola

sad, undesirable, hideous, jealous, regretful


----------



## Kevin001

Hungry but I'll survive.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Well. I just had a bit of a mental breakdown and humiliated myself in front of who knows how many people at school.

I feel humiliated and all around horrible and slightly suicidal. I just can't even. I don't even know. What is this? I don't know what to make of reality or anything anymore.


----------



## kivi

Nervous


----------



## KILOBRAVO

again , i still seem to be fine. anxiousness and uneasiness is still lower. for no reasons i can think of.


----------



## SofaKing

No one in the world ever gets what they want and that is beautiful
Everybody dies frustrated and sad and that is beautiful
They want what they're not and I wish they would stop saying,
Deputy dog dog a ding dang depadepa
Deputy dog dog a ding dang depadepa


----------



## Mxx1

Worried


----------



## TryingMara

Antsy, regretful.


----------



## Mario Majora

I'm feeling stupid because my first day as working as a cashier was a disaster. I feel like I made so many mistakes, and didn't learn as much as I was supposed to from the "training recording" they had me listen to. I haven't even worked with actual customers yet..


----------



## slyfox

Tired and depressed. Not looking forward to a sleep study tonight. Hopefully I'll still be tired when I get there


----------



## SummerRae

I feel very proud of myself. I have accomplished so much in school this year and I can finally be free soon. Young. Wild. And free. I'm ready!


----------



## kivi

Tired.


----------



## Esteban

happy, optimistic, and motivated


----------



## Hello345

Feeling really sad, emotional and exhausted. Sometimes I wish I could just go to bed and never wake up. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day


----------



## KILOBRAVO

more OR less fine. but i have felt unusually tired all day . ..


----------



## Ape in space

Terrible. Why do the stupidest things make me upset? I don't get emotional over stuff that's actually bad, but then I come close to tears with pity for an inanimate thing like that ^ sad face on a forum.


----------



## SD92

Ok. I've got a sore throat, though, and feel a bit tired.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like my allergies have won the war


----------



## TabbyTab

I feel like trash


----------



## Mxx1

Stressed and tired. I was awake to 5 am and woke up 8 am, i'm so tired.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

More anxious than usual.

Really hating myself today.

Tired of being sad.

I wish I felt nothing.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

hmm. i think i am fine. but i have felt a bit tired and a slight fraction unsteady today.


----------



## cj66

Feeling in a bad way overall, but I've come to accept certain things about myself that aren't changing, and went ahead and responded to a few ads anyway. So today I'm a little bit hopeful.


----------



## Flora20

Haven't been feeling well since yesterday -.-


----------



## KILOBRAVO

more or less fine. ....


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like I've got a fresh cold in the heart of summer like weather, allergies blow


----------



## mattmc

Miserable. Trying to cope with music.


----------



## False Protagonist

It's Friday so lonely. And I'm tired.


----------



## slyfox

Tired but wanted to get more drawing in. By most people's standards I've already got a ton done(3 hrs+) but I feel like I need to do epic amounts to overcome my suckiness. Might just eat and sleep anyway.


----------



## Flora20

I'm feeling pretty good today.


----------



## slowlyimproving

Determined. I plan on reading a few CBT and self help workbooks this summer.


----------



## SofaKing

Pathetic


----------



## Riri11

slowlyimproving said:


> Determined. I plan on reading a few CBT and self help workbooks this summer.


Hi I'm planning the same 
I've found a couple of books already 
Feel free to share what you found


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like ****


----------



## TryingMara

bored


----------



## KILOBRAVO

slyfox said:


> Tired but wanted to get more drawing in. By most people's standards I've already got a ton done(3 hrs+) but I feel like I need to do epic amounts to overcome my suckiness. Might just eat and sleep anyway.


you sound like a very busy person. Do you get bored easily , like me and always try to look for usefully things to do?. does being constructive and doing stuff make you feel better? for me it does .


----------



## slyfox

KILOBRAVO said:


> you sound like a very busy person. Do you get bored easily , like me and always try to look for usefully things to do?. does being constructive and doing stuff make you feel better? for me it does .


Not really, but I do beat myself up constantly for not working harder on things. I would like to be more productive. Most days I don't do anything. I do feel better when I actually get stuff done


----------



## slowlyimproving

Riri11 said:


> Hi I'm planning the same
> I've found a couple of books already
> Feel free to share what you found


To start with, I'll probably read these two books. Then I'll look for a CBT workbook on depression.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Self-Esteem-Workbook-Glenn-Schiraldi/dp/1572242523/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_z

http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Worry-Workbook-Cognitive-Behavioral/dp/160623918X


----------



## Riri11

slowlyimproving said:


> To start with, I'll probably read these two books. Then I'll look for a CBT workbook on depression.
> 
> http://www.amazon.com/The-Self-Esteem-Workbook-Glenn-Schiraldi/dp/1572242523/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_z
> 
> http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Worry-Workbook-Cognitive-Behavioral/dp/160623918X


I've found this, planning on getting it too. http://www.amazon.com/The-Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal/dp/1878424319


----------



## slowlyimproving

Riri11 said:


> I've found this, planning on getting it too. http://www.amazon.com/The-Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal/dp/1878424319


Looks interesting. A bit far out there but that might be a good thing.


----------



## Riri11

slowlyimproving said:


> Looks interesting. A bit far out there but that might be a good thing.


I'm into new age theories :nerd:


----------



## iCod

Honestly? Ignored and forgotten.


----------



## slyfox

Have a splitting headache. Can't wait to finish up my work for tonight and go to bed(assuming I can with my headache)


----------



## vanishingpt

At the moment I feel like I am playing catch up, and never really have any time to let things sink in and settle down. I feel like my mind's traveling down a series of winding paths, some leading to dead ends, while others meet at intersections when I least suspect. The overall feeling is that I don't feel I am going down a straight, linear, and logical path anymore. I don't know what to expect. Some things just happen and they change me, for better or for worse. But I guess for the most part I have never really solidly planted my feet in the ground in the first place because I never really looked and reflected on what I needed to address.

But I always feel like there's something else that needs to be done, something that needs more prioritization... and I always put myself back on the back burner, feeling uneasy, convincing myself that I'm moving forward.


----------



## tea111red

bored
rejected
ugly
stressed
pressured
tired
worried
old
ick


----------



## StaceyLaine14

Gross. My brain is a foggy mess right now and I should really put my phone away before I say any more reckless things. 

Feeling inferior. There's a particular girl on SAS that is really making me feel bad about myself in comparison. I wish I could be more like her. But instead I'm super negative, prone to depression, and desperately in need of other's approval. And the saddest part is that my self esteem is fine. Great even. But I still feel bad.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

confused & lost.


----------



## Lonewolf2014

Extremely depressed..


----------



## TabbyTab

Head over heels


----------



## KILOBRAVO

more or less fine. .. and its surprising actually, because someone that I had invested so, so, so, much of my emotions , devotion, thoughts, encouragement, support and faithfulness over several years..... and who hurt me a few times in the past, has finally become rude and disrespected me. so sad....


----------



## SD92

A bit anxious right now.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Fat and lazy and sober


----------



## Flora20

Lonely and bored -.-


----------



## rdrr

Fine. Its nice out and im doing laundry.


----------



## cj66

Really awful .. and the one person checking in to see how I am doesn't know about my situation so I have to lie


----------



## Surly Wurly

I feel like I got reincarnated fairly recently but I'm kind of in denial about it and trying to live my former life even though it doesn't make sense in my new one

Actually I don't think the reincarnation was all that recent I think it's more that the denial has taken a while to slip away. I've been feeling out of sorts for a while now


----------



## TabbyTab

Just so tired of everything


----------



## Mxx1

I'm so extremely tired.


----------



## slyfox

Got a headache and feeling depressed worrying about my health and future


----------



## SD92

Slightly anxious and slightly depressed.


----------



## saya2077

Frustrated and lonely.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tense. I need a full body stretch and a massage


----------



## deckard7

Think I'm going bald so not so good.


----------



## Surly Wurly

oh muh hart, just found out that they did an alternative, extra lovely arrangement of one of my favourite pieces of music 

Dx Dx Dx

i feel like a tea drinker who just discovered cake


baaaahhh string section don't tease me with such beautiful lies :,|


----------



## TenYears

Anxious. My doc changed my meds again. I don't know if I like this, and I haven't even started yet. Uggggghhhh.


----------



## tea111red

pretty good.


----------



## i just want luv

When' I post on serious matters and open myself up to others, I tend to get moody. And now I feel a wave of depression coming over. I was having a normal day and now it's in the mustard. I'd like to believe being cheery as bettering myself. But now, I' question how related bettering and curing really are to avoidance.


----------



## Quirky

Anxious, since I need to start writing cover letters for some of the jobs I'm applying to. Also haven't felt too motivated to do anything else but stay at home for the past few weeks. I'm not sure why I'm not as panicky about my student loan situation as I thought I'd be, it's strange.


----------



## Drihzel

Reminiscing about all the relationships ive pushed away so eh. no one to ever talk to but i guess its my fault for doing this, damn...


----------



## KILOBRAVO

hmm. mostly ok. ...


----------



## BloodySpade

feeling like I wanna be someone else so I don't have to deal with my own life anymore


----------



## Charmander

Lonely...


----------



## TryingMara

Unsettled.


----------



## SD92

Good right now.


----------



## JupiterJones

I'm really glad I joined this site


----------



## RuNNer90

Smoking big cuban cigar, playing Poker and I have strong urge to manipulate people on this forum but I really don't know why because no-one stepped on my toes and I don't hate anyone here to be honest. I think I want it to do to make me laugh because no one makes me laugh.


----------



## meltedcheese

Last night I had a nervous breakdown :/ 
Today is oddly calm and quiet >w<


----------



## Genos

A little bit dead. I'm just really tired of all of this, I think my mind is in a really dark place right now.


----------



## kesker

these days, how I'm feeling is I take an emotion and rub it all over myself and see if it sticks.


----------



## blackvoid

funnt really, all year has been manageable but of course the last two days of the semester, have been the worse days of the year,,,i guess its just my curse


----------



## Genos

i'm too distressed to sleep


----------



## reaffected

*not. good.*


----------



## slyfox

Hopeless


----------



## Genos

still sad, still can't sleep ;_;


----------



## KILOBRAVO

more or less....... Fine


----------



## whocares187

a bit groggy, but ready to start a new day.


----------



## slyfox

Have a headache


----------



## StaceyLaine14

Lots of good feelings and no where to dump them. Lots of excited energy about the future and no way to put it towards any productive action. I really am excited about this guy. He's really amazing and he wants to see me again soon. I really, really like him a lot and want to talk about him with everyone. Need more friends to share the information with. Need more time with him. Need somewhere to brag that doesn't impact others as well...


----------



## RubixQ

StaceyLaine14 said:


> I really am excited about this guy. He's really amazing and he wants to see me again soon. I really, really like him a lot and want to talk about him with everyone.


Congratulations ^_^

I met a girl just now who knew me from school though I couldn't place her. A quick search shows the different paths our lives have taken and how far behind in life I am.

Sigh.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel like I've been re-living the same day over and over for years.


----------



## Malek

SamanthaStrange said:


> I feel like I've been re-living the same day over and over for years.


Dude... this is my life too I think... Meh.


----------



## tea111red

overwhelmed.


----------



## Kevin001

Feeling pretty good at the moment. Lets see how long it lasts, lol.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel more or less fine. well..... I have reached out , and now I feel a part excited, and a part nervous and I can just feel it in my stomach a little .... 
She said she will contact me again.!!


----------



## dal user

A bit self conscious and anxious too


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Dissapointed, lost, and empty


----------



## TryingMara

Happy


----------



## Cmasch

Tired,Bored,Annoyed lol


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## StaceyLaine14

Excited about seeing my friend again soon


----------



## TenYears

Worthless. Totally and completely worthless.


I just...can't do anything right. This whole life is just...a big mistake.


I also can't lie to myself about the fact that I still have feelings for her. Despite the things she said. And despite the fact that she won't commit.


I f-ing hate my life. I really, really hate my life.


----------



## slyfox

Overwhelmed. Wish I could handle things as easily as normal people do


----------



## ronnie72

I'm feeling so lonely and depressed. Just ended a 7 year relationship and have no one to talk to😔


----------



## lakewoodgirl

Stuck and bored.... desperate for some change.


----------



## RubixQ

Angry.

I stupidly changed my jacket to one without zips on the pockets and needed to chase down a receipt blowing about in the wind.

Why did I let myself get talked into changing jackets grrr :mum


----------



## sparkleandshin333

Okay so I just joined this randomly. I am feeling hopefully always as I am in the morning. But there's always an underlying doubt in the back of my head that things will go well. I have a couple interviews today and I am a little nervous. I never had social anxiety at all when I was younger. I was in school plays for gods sake and a dancer now I don't think I could possibly do those things ever again aha but ofcourse I will heal and this anxiety WILL go away eventually. About 6-8 months ago I started feeling randomly very anxious at work especially. I am a waitress ( People tell me I am a very pretty girl) and I started getting very awkward. Trip up on my words, bump into things, NOT KNOWING WHERE TO LOOK making awkward eye contact. Trembling my head shakes a little now when is know people are looking at me in social settings. I don't know WHERE this came from but it's ****ing me up and my life. The only thing holding me back in having the most amazing life if this ridiculous anxiety I developed. I am an EXTROVERT with social anxiety which sucks. I really want to be accepted at work be comfortable and be my funny personable self but I'm being held back. I just HOPE this doesn't last forever I've tried to meditate more, began excecising, positive affirmations I feel better than I did a couple months ago....I drink a lot..a party girl that may be a reason. Uggg sorry for the long post but it said to share so I did! I've never really explained this in detail so phew xo Olivia


----------



## Drunky

Hopeless, soul crushed, fed up, given up.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

more or less fine. but i still feel a little excitement , slight nerves etc.. about maybe next week. I wonder what she has i mind?


----------



## CristianNC

Somewhat anxious for no reason. I think I'll play some chess to chill out.


----------



## TryingMara

My emotions are yo-yoing today. At this second, I'm alright. Felt very low a little while ago.


----------



## Quirky

Despite the lack of sleep last night, I'm unusually cheerful and relaxed.


----------



## Zyriel

*sigh* Just a little churlish, I don't mean to be a sore fussy here, but in a poached manner after being a bit parched in the mouth from ludicrous laughter :sigh


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lethargic. I need to get my *** in shape, it's summer


----------



## ChaosKitty

Tired, frustrated, sore. Tired because I got up early. Frustrated due to getting dicked around on my disability. Sore from physical therapy yesterday. Frigging OW.


----------



## kivi

Bored, slightly nervous. I have exams everyday, this week.


----------



## rdrr

Hungry


----------



## Surly Wurly

Haven't been smelling like my usual self lately. I wonder if all my recent swimming has somehow chlorinated my skin flora away. Mt recent bereavement might be making me smell sad? Or perhaps I am simply rotting to death. Must increase my intake of garlic and onions to restore my trademark allium signature. Might weave a sack of leeks to sleep in for the time being


----------



## kivi

Nervous


----------



## KILOBRAVO

calm and otherwise OK.


----------



## tea111red

pretty energetic. i feel like partying, but not really. i just have that kind of energy, lol.


----------



## TenYears

Awesome. K just left a little over an hour ago. I can't believe I had my crush in my apartment, in the shower, and finally in my bed, again. We talked for about two hours before, and about an hour after. It felt so good having her close. We laid in my bed and spooned for a while and talked after. I've missed her so much over the last few weeks. Earlier I gave her the gift I got her from when I went on vacation, and I think she liked it. I can't wait to see her again. I miss her already.


----------



## tea111red

anxious!


----------



## slyfox

Having stomach cramps


----------



## Strategist

I want to run away to rural Norway and walk until I am dead.


----------



## TryingMara

Kind of down.


----------



## Aeiou

mattmc said:


> Miserable. Trying to cope with music.


I like that one.

I tried to cope anestethizing myself with GoT episodes on a loop
****, I should sleep, it would be even better


----------



## Flora20

Feel so tired and exhausted from yesterday ^^ but it was worth it


----------



## zonebox

It is Friday, I get the next three days off.. I feel fantastic!


----------



## mattmc

Aeiou said:


> I like that one.
> 
> I tried to cope anestethizing myself with GoT episodes on a loop
> ****, I should sleep, it would be even better


Sleep often helps but the flipside is that getting to sleep can be difficult if you're not feeling good. Good luck to you though.


----------



## Venompoo

Absolute failure age 23
Cries constantly
I'm like a tree falling in a forest 
No one hears
Alone like always 
Suffering alone


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel like I'm in a nightmare that I can't wake up from.


----------



## Kevin001

SamanthaStrange said:


> I feel like I'm in a nightmare that I can't wake up from.


Same :yes


----------



## thomasjune

Weekend is here and I feel great.


----------



## Kind Of

It's Friday night and I just finished sitting here crying because I can't find a stupid bird that also won't stop crying because it's trapped somewhere in the storage room.


----------



## CWe

Pissed off!


----------



## cak

Numb/Dead inside


----------



## TabbyTab

Resentful


----------



## KILOBRAVO

hmm. fine I suppose. cant really complain .


----------



## Surly Wurly

havent had any booze in ages and im having a beer. everything seems hilarious. i was writing like a little task list for stuff i gotta do tomorrow and the first thing i wrote was "get up". cant stop laughing at this now what a douche xD


----------



## Persephone The Dread

._.


----------



## TryingMara

bored


----------



## Iloved0gs

Im feeling horrible i just want to did like a copule of days ago this boy And i become bf And girl friend or so i thought But ten everybody was like ewww that guy is gross And then yesterday the boy at a party told everybody we were together But then today he says it was all a Joke And i posted on ask.fm that i was worried then a boy calles me as king me why and told him But sounded really stupid so i texted him that i was sorry But i accidental y texted his brother now i feel he's gonna hate me (im 13 by the WAY Please dont say mean things)


----------



## KILOBRAVO

NOT BAD. 

a little nervy because I am wondering what i am going to hear ( if anything ) from this woman , this week. it could lead to something new and good for me. ..


----------



## Gabef

I am feeling really lonely, I watch a lot of movies and the ones I have been watching recently make me feel regretful of the life I have lived thus far. Totally alone and without friends since being 11 yeara old.


----------



## StaceyLaine14

Not very bright. I don't like having so much difficulty expressing myself on the fly. It makes me seem really stupid and boring in person, and I hate feeling like I disappoint the people who have conversed with me through text beforehand.

Weirdly worried about/fixated on the thought that the guy I like might not like me back in the same way. Confused about what to do about that feeling. Don't have much going on, so if I wasn't obsessing over that, I probably would just slip into a depression. Probably shouldn't just ask because things are going really well right now between us, and I don't want to make things awkward or feel rejected and have to stop being friends with him. He's really nice and I'm his only friend. My ex is still trying to get me back, which is kind of tempting right now. But I can't take him up on that offer for obvious reasons. Mostly because of my fixation on the new guy.


----------



## kivi

I feel so nervous. I have graduation today and I'll be sitting on the front seat


----------



## slyfox

Dead tired even though I woke up only 5 hours ago  Going back to bed hoping that I won't sleep too long


----------



## swh

*Super depressed*

Got crazy drunk on weekend, did and said insane things to ppl. Just other stuff going on, not helping. I drank so much, I lost control !


----------



## TryingMara

exhausted


----------



## Flora20

Really lonely..


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonably OK. better than the last few days. ... I have too look forward again and keep trying.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anti-social and in need of a full body stretch


----------



## Gothic Cupcakes

Pretty much the same as usual... it wouldn't be so bad if I knew my life was going to get better in the future... but I obviously have no idea. The older I get, the worse it gets.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy, bored, hungry


----------



## millenniumman75

In just the last hour:

I got my chipped repaired....again.
I turned in my rental car after five days - $355
I got my car back with a new transmission - $3,022

Now.....I'm home and slaving away at the computer screen.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

slightly anxious & rather uncomfortable. makes sense considering i'm at school, in a room with intimidating people. too anxious to even use my headphones. lol awesome.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Vaguely depressed. Perpetually confused.


----------



## False Protagonist

Selfish.


----------



## H8PPLNDGS

Absolutely ****ty and pretty anti-social and misanthropic atm. I thought I had "friends" but apparently I was completely wrong. Now it seems that people who claim to be accepting of everyone are just ****in bull****ters. I am so sorry that I am not so ****in perfect and for being me. I am sorry that there are times that I need a "friend" and that I have made the major ****in mistake on doting on people, trying to build self-esteem etc. that of course they do not appreciate because I am not the hot **** they rather be screw-up by and then complain that omg that ***** or ******* hurt them but they tried to give them the sun and the moon. Of course the people who actually care about them or they are just last minute ****ty last resort things they go to when no one in the ****ing world would talk to them! Un****ing real! I am sorry if they did not want to be friends in the first place then don't accept the type of relationship. Then they want to know about you just to flaunt your flaws right in your face when they simply don't want you around. Holy **** man then people wonder oh why would anyone develop social anxiety or even phobia well because of these *******s!!!!! I am sooooooo angry that if anyone else were to convey again he/she is lonely let's be friends because no one loves me until someone gives me an flash of attention that he/she thinks is the best thing ever in their pathetic lives and follow them around to pick up their **** and fling it on me because oh oh oh the people they are dying for are bored of them, I would just say **** off - just **** right off!! Get the **** away from me I don't need you to undervalue and devalue me. I should know better not to even go forth and care about anyone and make the effort to connect with them on any level. Sorry I am soooooo damn angry. I need to express how I am feeling. Maybe absolutely no one can relate but that's ok.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

more lonely than usual. it feels like i'll never be able to make friends, because, well... i'm socially retarded. i guess meds won't change that. the only thing i can really expect is to feel less anxious and more comfortable, as well as a more positive general mood. then maybe i'll be somewhat okay. july the second. the day i finally consult the psychiatrist. fingers crossed it will go well.


----------



## Flora20

Annoyed, depressed so bored -.-


----------



## kivi

Ugh, I am so sleepy


----------



## Romyouless

like a failure couldn't handle the strong emotion last night.


----------



## EndlessBlu

my armpits are sweaty


just thought i'd announce that to everyone


----------



## cj66

still down.. and I can't afford to pay for the things that make a difference


----------



## janamarie

I am feeling both confused and not confused at the same time, dealing with something that my brain understands but my heart does not want to.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## Silere

I feel terribly sad. Wish I didn't have to be like this.


----------



## thomasjune

I was doing fine until I got that text. Now I'm pissed off.


----------



## TabbyTab

Emotionally, mentally drained

I'm rlly tired of having these constant mood swings


----------



## Nicole G

I am feeling okay I guess. Slightly tired, a little calm with some negative thoughts trying to get in the way but I am doing my best to push them out.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

felt pretty good earlier today, last night was pretty unexpected fun .... now i feel a bit sleepy now cause i didn't get to sleep until a crazy time haha


----------



## Kevin001

A little anxious at the moment. I'm already thinking about an appointment I have to make tomorrow.


----------



## slyfox

Tired and not too great. Have to stay up for awhile longer


----------



## uziq

didn't get much sleep last night but feeling pretty good this morning nonetheless


----------



## Surly Wurly

me? my thoughts are flower-strewn


----------



## uziq

welp, good mood didn't last long. back to feeling cynical / tired


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Anxious
Confused Uncertain Idiot


----------



## SofaKing

Like digested food that has moved through the small and large intestines and through the colon and sphincter.

Yeah...like that.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

NOT BAD. reasonably ok i suppose. .. i wish that slight back stiffness would leave


----------



## probably offline

Empty.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Massive dread and disappointment. I have to go back to the f***ing place where i get my paycheck from today. I'm such a little wage w****.


----------



## Nicole G

A little better than yesterday. The sun is out so that makes it better.


----------



## slyfox

Like my blood pressure is too high


----------



## StaceyLaine14

sad...


----------



## Kevin001

I'm doing so bad right now, I don't know how much longer I will be on this forum. I just want to sleep and not wake up.


----------



## kivi

Useless


----------



## Kevin001

Pretty sh*tty, my head is pounding, I'm stressing out about an appointment I have later, and my family is bothering me.


----------



## Citrine

Like a coward. I need to stop being so passive. Have so much anger building up, but I always act as though what he does doesn't even phase me. In the end I feel like I'm just being taken advantage of. And I hate that I let it get that way.


----------



## StaceyLaine14

Kevin001 said:


> Pretty sh*tty, my head is pounding, I'm stressing out about an appointment I have later, and my family is bothering me.


I hope your appointment goes well. You seem to have been feeling pretty bad for a while now and I'd really like to see you recover.


----------



## Surly Wurly

purposely trying to make myself stupider seems like a really smart thing to do


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i am fine. i feel a tad sleepy now .....


----------



## thatGuyyy

just feel sad and hopeless right now, probably gonna drink myself to sleep again


----------



## ShatteredGlass

somewhat gross and depressed. i don't usually feel gross at home. WHY SCHOOL?


----------



## TryingMara

Excited!!


----------



## Persephone The Dread

disappointed


----------



## Flora20

Tired and bored -.-


----------



## kivi

Bored


----------



## slyfox

Dead tired. Just wanna go back to bed


----------



## Katze

I feel like **** today. Sometimes I feel like I wanna die. I want to stay at home forever...


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty good. today i was busy and had a bit of fun. later i can look forward to something that I am grateful to her for .


----------



## gopherinferno

i'm feeling kinda spooky because the plastic in my bra keeps creaking every time i move and i'm wondering if i might have haunted tiddies


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Worthless


----------



## CWe

Like absolute goat crap


----------



## Andras96

Useless... I don't know why I bother to sign in to this ****ing site anymore...


----------



## tea111red

pretty good.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

eh. not bad, i guess. still four more days of school left which are sure to be as nightmarish as ever, but there is a two week break beginning on friday.my psych appointment is in about 2 weeks from now. finally, treatment/relief are (hopefully) coming.


----------



## thatGuyyy

I wanna sleep and never wake up


----------



## slyfox

Not great. Woke up with acid reflux burning my throat really bad after only 3 hours of sleep. Hopefully the antacid tablets I took will help and not just cause me to wake up with an awful taste in my mouth. They seem to do that even if I eat or drink something to get the taste out of my mouth first before I go to bed.


----------



## TenYears

gopherinferno said:


> i'm feeling kinda spooky because the plastic in my bra keeps creaking every time i move and i'm wondering if i might have haunted tiddies


 Yeah...omg, can't stop laughing.

Women just shouldn't wear bras, at all, ever, see, that's just one more reason why. You don't want haunted titties, now, do ya?


----------



## Kevin001

Just a little anxious, I have to submit a urine sample in a couple of hours (medically reasons).


----------



## nubly

Not feeling well. It's almost 6am and it doesn't feel like my bowels will move this morning. That means I'll have to poo at work and I hate using those nasty toilets.

Edit: success! Looks like it'll be a good day after all.


----------



## Baldy Nohairs

nubly said:


> Not feeling well. It's almost 6am and it doesn't feel like my bowels will move this morning. That means I'll have to poo at work and I hate using those nasty toilets.
> 
> Edit: success! Looks like it'll be a good day after all.


Phew, I know that feeling.


----------



## cj66

lonely


----------



## KILOBRAVO

frustrated, because I know its not my fault. its what people did wrong in the past that causes me to lack the life I should have now. and even more annoying is this; the fact that they blame me, or voice disappointment, or ignore me because they think my lack of good life now is my own fault. and they know it was their own past actions that fuc*ed it up for me now. I know who is to blame and it certainly isnt me... but now i have to pick up the pieces and face the consequences of it today.


----------



## CWe

Blue..... very blue


----------



## gopherinferno

TenYears said:


> Yeah...omg, can't stop laughing.
> 
> Women just shouldn't wear bras, at all, ever, see, that's just one more reason why. You don't want haunted titties, now, do ya?


u ignorant pigs don't understand how uncomfortable it is to let these mischievous things roam free tho


----------



## slyfox

Depressed and not sure what to do. Even if I had the energy I'm not sure what I should focus on


----------



## Crisigv

sad


----------



## Invisiblehandicap

lonely , dissapointed


----------



## slyfox

Not so great. Keep waking up with heartburn. Wish I didn't have a doctor appointment today along with another medical related appointment  Takes so much out of me and I feel like I don't want to work on anything esle


----------



## indielife

I'm having quite a good day. 

Yesterday I felt like crap for some reason, today I feel like a million bucks.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

KILOBRAVO said:


> frustrated, because I know its not my fault. its what people did wrong in the past that causes me to lack the life I should have now. and even more annoying is this; the fact that they blame me, or voice disappointment, or ignore me because they think my lack of good life now is my own fault. and they know it was their own past actions that fuc*ed it up for me now. I know who is to blame and it certainly isnt me... but now i have to pick up the pieces and face the consequences of it today.


the same . still, this irritation will fade.


----------



## Lasair

Hungry, tired and lazy!!


----------



## Cashel

Anxious. I have college orientation starting tomorrow and I have to say in the dorms for a few nights, presumably sharing a room with a person I don't know. I'm terrified.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

KILOBRAVO said:


> frustrated, because I know its not my fault. its what people did wrong in the past that causes me to lack the life I should have now. and even more annoying is this; the fact that they blame me, or voice disappointment, or ignore me because they think my lack of good life now is my own fault. and they know it was their own past actions that fuc*ed it up for me now. I know who is to blame and it certainly isnt me... but now i have to pick up the pieces and face the consequences of it today.


3rd day running. still feel the same. but it feels its gonna be hard to change it too.


----------



## zonebox

I just got back from work, and I am feeling so lazy..

So lazy..

Like, I'm gonna use my trackpad instead of my mouse kind of lazy.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

STILL A bit frustrated but it OK. .. i know i did nothing wrong.


----------



## theperson

Nonchalant


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored


----------



## ShatteredGlass

sick. and. tired. of school. ****ing hell this abuse is unbearable! school is constantly hurting me and trying to kill me. ;_;

at least the two week break begins today.. i'll be free from this hell for a while. i don't want to go back tbh. who knows what unbearable horrors are awaiting my return to school? let's say there is 10 weeks in the next term. 5 days of school per week = 50 days of school. that is at the very least 50 horrors. the daily horror is so pronounced and frequent that i've coined the term 'horror of the day', to describe the inevitable horror that accompanies each and every day of school. realistically they'll probably actually be 100+ horrors. kill me now.

i've also got a presentation in about 5 weeks. the last one drove me to tears.


----------



## Ntln

Massive headache, tired, depressed, angry, lonely, slowly losing contact with the only person I ever fully felt myself with. So pretty normal


----------



## zonebox

HTML:


I feel

      Okay

            Today

         _~
    _~ )_)_~
    )_))_))_)
    _!__!__!_
    \______t/
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~


----------



## TenYears

I just...cannot even.

i'm having flashbacks, so many.


----------



## UndreamingAwake

Like complete and utter ****. It's been a while, depression! Hi!


----------



## Crisigv

lonely


----------



## rdrr

exhausted. gotta stop staying late at work


----------



## tea111red

really anxious. my coping abilities are pretty overwhelmed right now.


----------



## meepie

tea111red said:


> really anxious. my coping abilities are pretty overwhelmed right now.


What are you anxious about? Is it physical or more mental the symptoms?


----------



## meepie

Sick and tired. Got a bad cold, ears clogged/itchy and coughing is bad.


----------



## Dilweedle

Sore from working out and full of onion soup.


----------



## tea111red

meepie said:


> What are you anxious about? Is it physical or more mental the symptoms?


just having to make conversation w/ people at work tomorrow. i dunno what i should talk about.


----------



## Zosie92

Kind of disappointed. Had to cancel a holiday with a friend cause I just can't afford it and need to be sensible. I explained all that to my friend but she still hasn't replied. I know she has the right to be upset but it was really hard to make the decision to cancel, I just want to know she's still my friend even if it takes a while to forgive me.


----------



## Kevin001

Horrible. Woke up with new pimples on my face, my head is pounding, stomach hurts, I have a appointment today..........ugh.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

not bad. ... maybe I am intrigued about something she told me. .I will find out from her later. maybe


----------



## Nicole G

slyfox said:


> Not so great. Keep waking up with heartburn. Wish I didn't have a doctor appointment today along with another medical related appointment  Takes so much out of me and I feel like I don't want to work on anything esle


Heartburn is the worse 

I am feeling a little more okay than usual. I have some time to just relax and be by myself.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry


----------



## TabbyTab

Disappointed in myself for crying over a boy. ugh that teenage angst


----------



## lonzy

Anxious. I need to go to work and talk to people..


----------



## Andras96

Slightly better. I met someone new at group, but I can't help but feel that I made a **** first impression. And I'm slightly depressed because I tell myself, "Why can't I have more interactions like this?"


----------



## Beast And The Harlot

Terrible.

I was so close to getting my own place and then I ****ed it all up. :mum


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonable .


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## CristianNC

Incredibly anxious, sadly.


----------



## legallyalone

invisible


----------



## Kevin001

Sick, I feel like I'm going to puke.


----------



## mattmc

Like all my emotions are sleeping in a heavy, grey cloud.


----------



## tea111red

anxious....panicky.


----------



## SD92

Ok. But I'm craving chocolate and there's none in the house.


----------



## Crisigv

anxious, restless, bored, sad, regretful


----------



## Surly Wurly

hedonic. libidinous. immortal. monolithic. skinny-fat.


----------



## Kwlgurl

i dont know how i am feeling anymore


----------



## Cuban FL Cracker

Exhausted, lonely and frustrated.


----------



## thomasjune

Mood swings..my feelings are all over the place and that's probably why I'm a member of this mental health site. FML


----------



## legallyalone

Nauseous, shakey, and really unable to sit still.


----------



## Nicole G

I am feeling okay. The sun is out which puts me in a little better mood.


----------



## SofaKing

Disappointed in myself to let loneliness have such an impact on my current mood and outlook. I've done the solitary thing and I've done the relationship thing. And while relationships have their complications and consequences, I'll take that over the solitary thing...for sure.


----------



## legallyalone

TFW you click "add this member to your friends list" and the site says "you and [member] are already friends"


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Super f***ing annoyed


----------



## shelbster18

I feel weird. I feel like the guy in my relationship in ways. >_> lol I wonder if I'm the only girl that feels like that.


----------



## Almighty101

Given up. I'm a failure.


----------



## Andras96

lonely


----------



## Surly Wurly

I never see anyone else talking about physical pain from depression and anxiety. I'm a wreck


----------



## slyfox

Tired and my back is aching


----------



## Owl-99

Depressed as **** !


----------



## KILOBRAVO

TODAY felt open happy and even a bit confident. No idea where this came from.

well maybe cause the person I am talking to understands me and i understand her.
and I got complemented on my looks Again by an older  woman when out today. ... nice eyes and handsome guy apparently. haha 

plus I enjoyed driving about... felt relaxed .


----------



## Perspicacious

Just had an argument with my father ending up with a beat down. Somehow I don't feel that bad, he's a jerk anyway


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy


----------



## slyfox

Tired


----------



## Nicole G

a little annoyed, my case worker cancelled at the last minute on me again.


----------



## slyfox

Dead tired and low on energy. Wish today was over


----------



## KILOBRAVO

still feeling mostly fine


----------



## Crisigv

I feel forgotten. Even though I don't have any true friends, there were a few people (not from SAS) that I talked to a few times a week, whether it was on Facebook or texting. All of a sudden, no one talks to me anymore. I guess they're all enjoying their summer, who needs me.

I'm also feeling socially anxious right now, can't make myself make a phone call. It's been a while since I felt like this. Depression has been the main thing lately.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

This isn't applicable now but last night I felt strange. I was informed that one of the people formerly in my biology class got hit by a car and died. I found out during dinner and it was strange... strange and vaguely nauseating. I didn't see him much and didn't really think anything of him. He just kind of stopped turning up to class after the first term.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Really anxious and uncomfortable.


----------



## Andras96

hopeless. no one cares, i cant expect people to care... i cant finish this


----------



## Andras96

im crying


----------



## Kevin001

Good at the moment..... I hope it lasts.


----------



## noctilune

Tired, worried


----------



## SamanthaStrange

noctilune said:


> Tired, worried


Are you still worrying about that damn french fry? It's going to be okay!

JK


----------



## legallyalone

I did something stupid at work that almost cost some people some money. So I'm feeling whatever that feeling is. Hope I can sleep.


----------



## noctilune

SamanthaStrange said:


> noctilune said:
> 
> 
> 
> Tired, worried
> 
> 
> 
> Are you still worrying about that damn french fry? It's going to be okay!
> 
> JK
Click to expand...

Haha, how did you know? It only wanted to hang out on the floor in my car, but I just wasn't having that...

No, I actually read the other thread you had mentioned and...it was really disturbing.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

noctilune said:


> Haha, how did you know? It only wanted to hang out on the floor in my car, but I just wasn't having that...
> 
> *No, I actually read the other thread you had mentioned and...it was really disturbing.*


I'm sorry. Yes, it is disturbing, I'm sorry anyone read it, to be honest. :blank


----------



## KILOBRAVO

MORE OR less actualy fine


----------



## Crisigv

hopeless


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tense physically


----------



## nippleback

I've never been able to tell anyone this, it's a really long story probably. 
So I have a bf who is my age and I love him very much, hes not perfect but he's perfect for me.
But Im in high school and I have a psych teacher who has been really wonderful to me the entire year. not only has he helped me with anxiety and personal issues but he is young charming witty and very handsome. 

for months now I've had this little crush on him, but in my head it's turned into much more than that
I tell him all of my problems in my head and think about him all the time.
It used to only be when I'm alone, but now even around my bf o friends I feel like he is there with me.
I CAN'T MAKE IT STOP.
I always tell myself I'll stop thinking about it, but then I'll be in my head and explaining him my relationship problems or past events or making jokes and I'm so terrified
no matter how hard I push it away my brain always ends up talking towards him, he doesn't really reply that I recall but idk


I used to do this type of thing about my boyfriend, which I thought I was just in love with hi m, which I am, and it went away after we got back together.

This kind of thing has happened with other guys and the only way I've solved it was by dating them, while I'm fairy confident I could get together with my teacher when I turn 18, I also don't want to handle it that way because I want to be with my boyfriend and I want to feel something like I used to for him



I'm just really scared that one day I won't be able to tell myself it's not real


----------



## slyfox

Depressed and trapped in horrible situations


----------



## Crisigv

I feel fat, I feel ugly. I feel like garbage. I am ashamed of myself. I deserve the worst the world throws at me.


----------



## tea111red

irritated.


----------



## BackToThePast

Why am I so ****ing weird holy ****. And it's not even the funny weird, either.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Disappointed & unimpressed.


----------



## kivi

Nervous, sad and hungry


----------



## SuperSky

Still cold.


----------



## SofaKing

Rejected...repeatedly...and I kept going back...what does she expect from me if she won't take even the smallest steps?


----------



## Smallfry

Groggy. Kept waking up last night due to the fan, have this fear that it might catch on fire so keep checking on it. Hope tonight will be cooler so I can sleep i peace.


----------



## AussiePea

Splitting headache and bleh. Have to fly in a few hours, not good.


----------



## UndreamingAwake

Crisigv said:


> I feel fat, I feel ugly. I feel like garbage. I am ashamed of myself. I deserve the worst the world throws at me.


Not to be a creep or anything, but I've seen your pics on your profile a while back and you do realize you look incredibly cute and cuddly right? I swear I'll never understand women that feel they're ugly when they're obviously not. Or fat, for that matter.


----------



## MiMiK




----------



## Fierce

Hi! I'm new to this. 
And would like to share.. So here goes.. 
I am so sick and tired of everyone around me
When did we become so judgemental?
Everyone is always stressed! So much scheming and gossiping feels like high school doesn't end until ur 80 
Everyone expects so much out of you and expects you to be there for em but they aren't there for you. 
I'm so sick and so tired of everyone 
Life is so so so difficult


----------



## Fierce

UndreamingAwake said:


> Crisigv said:
> 
> 
> 
> I feel fat, I feel ugly. I feel like garbage. I am ashamed of myself. I deserve the worst the world throws at me.
> 
> 
> 
> Hey! Focus of eating healthy and working out .. U will feel great about yourself
> No one is ugly. U are not the type of good looking that you think is good looking, so u are doing it to urself.
> Don't be sad over things you can't change motivate urself to workout
> Xx
Click to expand...


----------



## Fierce

KyleInSTL said:


> Rejected...repeatedly...and I kept going back...what does she expect from me if she won't take even the smallest steps?


I know how u must be feeling .. 
Been through that road .. 
Two things:- 
1. Either she is pushing herself towards you cuz it's the right thing to do or pity or some reason 
2. She is scared and doesn't want to get hurt. Sometimes we push ppl away only so that they can pull us back together

Feel better


----------



## Methodical

Hopeless, like every decision I make leads to a problem.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

more or less fine. ... i still felt confident and open for 3rd day in a row. maybe moving on and forgetting a disrespectful person of the past may have somethign to do with it...or maybe its the nice weather


----------



## CWe

Like cat sh##. Hate myself for not being motivated or at least trying


----------



## Dan1987

I can't relax, why am I always thinking and on edge, it just makes me feel sad.


----------



## Nicole G

^ that is usually me too but right now I am feeling a little more relaxed then usual and a little better too today.


----------



## kivi

Nervous, sad, tired


----------



## Dan1987

Nicole G said:


> ^ that is usually me too but right now I am feeling a little more relaxed then usual and a little better too today.


This past month has been worse for some reason, it's nice to read that you're feeling relaxed though


----------



## Nicole G

Dan1987 said:


> This past month has been worse for some reason, it's nice to read that you're feeling relaxed though


Thank you 

I hope you start feeling relaxed soon. Anything happen during the past month that might have brought it up?


----------



## Dan1987

Nicole G said:


> Thank you
> 
> I hope you start feeling relaxed soon. Anything happen during the past month that might have brought it up?


Thank you too, well I did have a first date that went terrible and that's when I realised I possibly had SA, so this past month I've been to the doctors a few times to get some help and therapy is the option, but I feel that I've felt more depressed with it too, but the therapy should be a start that I need, also works getting me down too, but I break up for 2 weeks tomorrow so at least I'll get a chance to relax over the 2 weeks 

Hope you continue on the positive.


----------



## thebigofan

I'm feeling stressed because I have an essay due to tomorrow and I haven't started on it yet.


----------



## BackToThePast

Lonely and defeated.


----------



## teenage wildlife

Just very empty. Nothing feels normal, or right.


----------



## legallyalone

Bored to the point of wanting to give up on life


----------



## thomasjune

Very tired. I need to catch up on some sleep.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## AffinityWing

Very eh..
I could be doing something, even staring at the ceiling feels like it'd be more productive right now.


----------



## Cmasch

Tired and insanely bored....


----------



## tea111red

i feel so overwhelmed. so many things are going wrong and i don't know how to fix them all or cope well w/ things.


----------



## TryingMara

exhausted


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonable


----------



## Nicole G

Dan1987 said:


> Thank you too, well I did have a first date that went terrible and that's when I realised I possibly had SA, so this past month I've been to the doctors a few times to get some help and therapy is the option, but I feel that I've felt more depressed with it too, but the therapy should be a start that I need, also works getting me down too, but I break up for 2 weeks tomorrow so at least I'll get a chance to relax over the 2 weeks
> 
> Hope you continue on the positive.


Not all first dates go well, sorry to hear that. Therapy sounds like a good option and that might help you to feel better. Therapy has helped me with both depression and anxiety. Awesome that you get a two week break! How was the first day off?


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like garbage as usual, mentally and physically.


----------



## Dan1987

Nicole G said:


> Not all first dates go well, sorry to hear that. Therapy sounds like a good option and that might help you to feel better. Therapy has helped me with both depression and anxiety. Awesome that you get a two week break! How was the first day off?


Yeah should start the therapy in 4-6 weeks, and it's good to hear that it's helped you and you've felt an improvement.

Well I had to work today but I am now officially on holiday  got a week at home then I'm going to the coast for a week, can't wait for that.

How have you felt today?


----------



## Depressed94

Like ****ing ****


----------



## slyfox

Tired and irritable


----------



## TabbyTab

Lonley
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TenYears

Little anxious. I'm picking up my kids in the morning, meeting my parents at the lake to go fishing, play, watch fireworks later. Going to be tons, tons of people there. Meh.

(ffs)


----------



## LolaViola

Like a sack of crap


----------



## SofaKing

Despite coming down with chronic loneliness disease, I'm feeling surprisingly upbeat this morning.


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad, I think I might actually have a good 4th of July.


----------



## XxCrystalXx

I feel dead inside.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel pretty good right now, but I'm sure this won't last long, especially since I'm about to spend the day with my family. :afr

(ffs) @TenYears :b


----------



## KILOBRAVO

not bad. but i ate so such stuff at dinner time is still feel full.. LOL


----------



## tea111red

really stressed.


----------



## TryingMara

annoyed


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored/ restless


----------



## Cmasch

Tired, Bored, High Strung


----------



## Andras96

lost


----------



## AffinityWing

sad
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Andras96

I'm beyond sick of feeling like a ****ing leper.


----------



## Crisigv

Meh. The bad feelings are starting to creep back, but thankfully it's late. Watching Independence Day and Border Security kept me busy for a few hours.


----------



## SofaKing

Why does fear have to be so powerful? I'm so tired of it messing up my life.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

ME ? mostly fine. I had a very nice time chatting to her last night. , I had a decent day today.


----------



## Perspicacious

Flat-footed


----------



## slyfox

Stressed


----------



## CruelExistence

A mixture of fatigue and anger. All this boils down to feeling trapped.


----------



## Crisigv

lonely as usual


----------



## lonerroom

Lonely, bored, have a headache, and now very intrigued to watch a movie where a certain man named Frank and a certain girl named Roxy go on a killing spree.


----------



## Quirky

Feel dumb, now in a sort of musical mood.


----------



## legallyalone

I'm feeling confused. Confused by other people's feelings. There are a range of emotions that others seem to have, that I just can't grasp at all. Crushes are the big one that I'm confused by, and becoming more confused by from reading this forum. I can't understand or relate at all to someone being fixated on another, or trying to stop having feelings for another.


----------



## Tarble

Like everything is unattainable. Like everyone is at the top of the tallest mountain, and I'm at the bottom with no climbing equipment, or functioning limbs for that matter.


----------



## legallyalone

Creepy girl, go away


----------



## Persephone The Dread

legallyalone said:


> Creepy girl, go away


No  (but only because you've passively aggressively posted this here instead of talking to me directly in the thread.)


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & allergetic


----------



## Crisigv

another headache, so annoyed


----------



## Kevin001

Manic.........been off my meds for a couple of days......well I was feeling manic while I was on the meds also. I don't know what is wrong with me. My mind is racing, can't sleep......ugh.


----------



## SofaKing

I'm feeling sorry for myself...so much of my heart to give.


----------



## BackToThePast

meh


----------



## theloneleopard

KyleInSTL said:


> I'm feeling sorry for myself...so much of my heart to give.


 :squeeze

As for myself...tired and irritated.


----------



## TenYears

Broken. Incomplete. Not good enough. Subpar. Damaged goods.

I feel like somebody's leftovers. Like somebody's sloppy seconds. I feel like a backup plan, a Tuesday guy, just...not good enough.

It may sound really funny but I feel cheap. And used. Lol. Oh well. Such is life. I don't know why I would expect anything different. I should be used to it by now.


----------



## slyfox

Tense, irritable, and don't really have the attention span to do much. Guessing it is from cutting down cola and cutting down on the amount of food I eat. Have been 24 hours without any caffeine. I would try to go longer but I have a new therapist tomorrow and don't want to be miserable in addition to that.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I've felt bad all day. It's difficult to pick one negative emotion my brain just decided all of them would be a good idea. So that's been like a maelstrom all day.

Then I ordered pizza with my brother and they didn't deliver our dips. I'm proud of myself though for calling them up and questioning why we didn't get the dips, but he said they'd deliver the dips and they'd be here in 45 minutes but they never came. Never ordering from them again.


----------



## Crisigv

sad


----------



## tea111red

like i'm going to have a panic attack.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry


----------



## TenYears

Anxious. I don't like not knowing what the future holds. And there are a lot of things up in the air now. With family, my parents, with my kids, and in my personal life.

Just hope everything works out.


----------



## SofaKing

TenYears said:


> Anxious. I don't like not knowing what the future holds.


I was just talking about this recently. I've concluded that I can actually handle change and adversity really well. I've had to roll with some significant punches and have come out successfully.

However, not knowing where I'll be, what I'll be doing, and who I'll be with is something that unfortunately occupies too much brain space.

I'm still working very hard to live in the present. The past is past and the future unwritten and not guaranteed.


----------



## Lovelyscum

overwhelmed with emotion scared for tomorrow and everyday after that .confused about why I'm here how I even made it this far not only being an outsider in my own head but everywhere I go not being able To just fit in and interact because I feel like everyone is against Me Or doesn't understand And I know that all I'm doing is making myself worse, if that's even possible.


----------



## Crisigv

I don't even know anymore. Going numb.


----------



## Andras96

people can't stand being near me, people want nothing to do with me and it hurts


----------



## kivi

Good because my cat just came back.


----------



## WickedTiger

I woke up earlier this morning and to be honest I feel very content; more than I have in a long time. I just started my new ADHD medicine yesterday (Strattera 25 mgs). So far, so good. I'm not sure if it's as effective as the previous medication I was on (Concerta), but only time will tell.


----------



## kivi

kivi said:


> Good because my cat just came back.


 Sad, annoyed and slightly angry right now. I can turn back to my other problems.


----------



## Blue2015

Pretty depressed, wanted to go outside again today to buy some new walking shoes and then have lunch with my Dad and Brother in town. It's raining on and off though so I went to get my rain jacket but realised it's too tight and doesn't fit me no more, so I'll probably stay in all day today, as per usual.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

FINE


----------



## Kevin001

Upset. I just got out of my neurologist's office. It was a waste of time. I have to reschedule for a MRI and EMG. What the hell is the point of initial visits? I just endured a panic attack for nothing.....ugh.


----------



## Surly Wurly

come to the north-facing windows of your skyscrapers
witness for the first and last time the lurching advance of your imminent devastation
your very lives are motes of dust i inhale without the faintest awareness
i'm gonna have u m8, n yer bich 2

savour the white-hot panic
which is not the last thing you will feel;


first you will struggle to comprehend weightlessness as you fall from a great height while i scatter the steel beams like confetti 
then the very ground that you long for will turn your legs to moms spaghetti

*yes* -

yr gettin rekt m8.

in the twilight of my ravaging 
i will order room service and lay my cheek tenderly upon your ruin 
in repose i will find your laptops, tablets n sh1t
and i will raven upon your browser histories
wikileaks aint got sh1t on me
comprehensive digital records of your toxic and feral, reprehensible psyches will be beamed into all space
it will be as tho the fappening never fappened
that one pic of yr ex that boo failed to [/trashcan] will be assimilated on a million _worlds_, in a billion *schools*, by a trillion _girls_, a quadrillion *fools*.
You shall achieve an immortality worse than death.

Alien Nations will raise altars to your noodz.

They will project your dick pics onto the most beloved of their moons
Non-terrestrial top trumps cards will disseminate the statistics of your creepshots to as yet unknown astral life forms
Bad alien poets will browse your viewing habits and get writers block, persisting anyway to write clunky verses ripping off your youtube comments (soon forgotten)
Solitary reptilian sapients will glean the story arc of human lives from your spotify playlists, finding them wanting

amma fNck u up so bad
if jesus didnt exist
you would have to create him
so that he could die again
for my sins only


----------



## CopadoMexicano

I have a weird feeling...


----------



## WickedTiger

TenYears said:


> Anxious. I don't like not knowing what the future holds. And there are a lot of things up in the air now. With family, my parents, with my kids, and in my personal life.
> 
> Just hope everything works out.


:squeeze I feel the exact same way as you do right now. There, there. Everything will be okay. You are not alone!


----------



## WickedTiger

Well today just turned upside down. It started off okay, then everything seems like it's spiraling out of whack. What else is new? Story of my life. When things start getting better they fall apart.


----------



## TenYears

WickedTiger said:


> :squeeze I feel the exact same way as you do right now. There, there. Everything will be okay. You are not alone!


Well thank you :hug Hope everything works out for you as well. It probably will. I usually imagine things turning out far worse than they actually do. Part of having anxiety I guess lol.


----------



## Quirky

Slightly worried, mainly about my laziness, and somewhat bored. Need to invoke some self-motivation.


----------



## Avo91

Anxious, very anxious


----------



## Surly Wurly

Now ready to lose consciousness. But I wish i had someone to make fried eggs for in the morning  all my kindness is just wasting away and i feel like im turning into charcoal


----------



## Nicole G

Dan1987 said:


> Yeah should start the therapy in 4-6 weeks, and it's good to hear that it's helped you and you've felt an improvement.
> 
> Well I had to work today but I am now officially on holiday  got a week at home then I'm going to the coast for a week, can't wait for that.
> 
> How have you felt today?


Sorry for the late reply. Been away from the site.

How has your holiday been going? That sounds like a nice trip, have fun 

I am doing so so. A little mixed which is very common for me. Always tend to feel good one minute then kind of bad the next. How about yourself?


----------



## tea111red

yerba mate helped boost my mood some.


----------



## Kevin001

Horrible, my head is pounding, I'm sweating profusely, and I don't feel like doing sht.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

NOT BAD. BUT i am gonna do some exercises soon, so I will prob be even better after doing those.


----------



## Dan1987

Nicole G said:


> Sorry for the late reply. Been away from the site.
> 
> How has your holiday been going? That sounds like a nice trip, have fun
> 
> I am doing so so. A little mixed which is very common for me. Always tend to feel good one minute then kind of bad the next. How about yourself?


Hey, thanks for replying, holidays been quiet but well needed thanks, I'm looking forward to the coast, hopefully the weather picks up.

You sound like me, I can feel good and then bad, so a little mixed yeah.

Take care


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious
Sad
Confused
Stupid
Tired


----------



## SofaKing

Nervous as heck...very big career deciding national test tomorrow. I have to perform paramedic skills in front of an examiner. Gulp.


----------



## thomasjune

I feel pretty good. Just one more work day and then I'll be able to relax a bit.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tea111red

KyleInSTL said:


> Nervous as heck...very big career deciding national test tomorrow. I have to perform paramedic skills in front of an examiner. Gulp.


yeah, having to perform skills in front of someone is horrible, haha. good luck, though.


----------



## Perspicacious

Bemused


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Rather depressed and lonely. I feel unwanted on SAS and in general.


----------



## Dan1987

KyleInSTL said:


> Nervous as heck...very big career deciding national test tomorrow. I have to perform paramedic skills in front of an examiner. Gulp.


I hope you kill it, so to speak


----------



## Andras96

defeated


----------



## KILOBRAVO

KyleInSTL said:


> Nervous as heck...very big career deciding national test tomorrow. I have to perform paramedic skills in front of an examiner. Gulp.


wow . sounds exciting..  you will do well.! you are a medic? wow .

it puts my recently gained certificate of First aid , ABCD etc... a bit in the pale.


----------



## tea111red

i was feeling okay, but now i feel crappy and like i want to disappear.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless & conflicted


----------



## cosmicslop

Like I really want baked ziti but don't have the ingredients so I feel empty.

edit: **** is there anything else to do on this site than ****post.


----------



## Charmander

Lonely


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Ridiculously hot


----------



## Andras96

Rejected


----------



## Andras96

Pathetic. I'm just pathetic and it's not a feeling


----------



## EchoIX

Like genetic garbage.
*Sigh*


----------



## Crisigv

Not so great, as usual.


----------



## mr hoang

Excited to leave tomorrow to Kelowna. No more dealing with bs at home for 5 days at least.☺


----------



## EchoIX

Nervous because I have to go to a thing. 
Also sad because I couldn't quite do as good with my workout today. I haven't been sleeping very well lately.


----------



## TabbyTab

Lonley af


----------



## AnonymousPersonG

Empty


----------



## TryingMara

Nervous.


----------



## Avo91

^ Sometimes that happens to me too.


Feeling very bored and lonely


----------



## uziq

lawd hath mercy

ate so much sht in the past few days, feel disgusting


----------



## Crisigv

very lonely. very bored and disappointed


----------



## islanders

Disappointed, rejected, dejected, worthless.


----------



## Moriah

Unproductive, lonely


----------



## layitontheline

Nervous... Parking. Downtown. Needles. People. Scary.


----------



## PlayerOffGames

content


----------



## tea111red

i've been anxious all day. now i'm getting more stressed getting closer to work time and having to listen to annoying sounds.


----------



## Nicole G

meh okay I guess


----------



## Andras96

there isnt any hope for me


----------



## Andras96

I could jump off the key building downtown and no one would ****ing care for my death.


----------



## alienjunkie

I want to vomit all of my emotions


----------



## Andras96

alienjunkie said:


> I want to vomit all of my emotions


I'll probably be doing that in an hour or two.


----------



## alienjunkie

Andras96 said:


> I'll probably be doing that in an hour or two.


join the club


----------



## Andras96

alienjunkie said:


> join the club


joined (I threw up partially)


----------



## alienjunkie

Andras96 said:


> joined (I threw up partially)


initiated


----------



## Andras96

alienjunkie said:


> initiated


:yay:yay:yay (P.S. I'm partially drunk, so this is the happiest I'll probably be for the next few hours until I pass out)


----------



## alienjunkie

Andras96 said:


> :yay:yay:yay (P.S. I'm partially drunk, so this is the happiest I'll probably be for the next few hours until I pass out)


here's to dying early


----------



## Andras96

alienjunkie said:


> here's to dying early


Haha, thanks..


----------



## islanders

Pretty empty. Wish I had anyone to talk to..


----------



## SofaKing

Easily distracted...turmoil in my life makes it more difficult to keep myself focused on anything I need to be...I mean, it's as if I try to stay on track and...oooh...shiny things.


----------



## Nms563

Sad


----------



## TenYears

My stomach hurts. And my back hurts. Going to work is the last thing I feel like doing today. Ffs.

Also, my "gf" will be at the same location as me this week. And I have no idea where we're even at anymore.

I hope today doesn't suck as much as I think it's going to. Feeling anxious.


----------



## SilkyJay

Nms563 said:


> Sad


Same here. I'm quite sad too. Not sure why I quoted you, but I just felt the need to let you know you aren't alone. Misery loves company, forgive me.

I hate seeing my mom cry, it just rips me apart.


----------



## SilkyJay

I feel my 20's have literally flown by like a fart in the ****ing wind. Just yesterday I swear I was 22. My dad has cancer, in his throat/tongue and my brother who was hurting me back at home the past year and a half plus, ....who we then had to commit (I had to sign with my mom, it was just us three living at home, it got so bad.. ) has now been living with my dad for some time now, so basically I don't talk to my dad, even though he is sick. The convos we do have are so superficial and he tells me nothing about his health even though i ask and the other 90 perct of the time its all about my brother. I don't want to live that anymore. And I feel like a completely ****ty son for this though. I feel guilty for committing my brother too on some level. I should've committed my ****ing self! Who knows what would've happend if we didn't though. He was so hopped up on adderall, painkillers, and they were doing heroin as well. And add in the fact that my brother struggles with being bi polar, it was a bad mix. Adderall and Bipolar disorder is not a good combination.

For the times I went over to my dads after teh commital... he was simply consumed with my brothers problems. Even when he (my brother wasn't living there yet, I was sent home because my brother was having meltdown after meltdown, just like at home and calling my dad and pulling him in. (( even after the commital, he went off and lived with his evil girlfriend)) I mean she was the ****ing anti-christ, seriously, she reveled in choas.. and i think thats where I feel so bad about committing my brother is that he was jsut as lonely, he wanted to be with her no matter how nasty she was to our family, him, breaching boundaries.....) BUT he dragged the SAME Problems into my sick fathers life that he did back at home) my brother has since been charged with two additional crimes since being over there, (he's fortunate I didn't press charges the multiple times the police came.. the police wanted me to press charges as they could see the bruises/marks all over me, but I didn't want to set my brother back by doing that. I love my brother very much and still do)

but he's since be charged for assaulting his gf and for being picked up with more drugs... I just can't believe how many times my mother and I thought we got through to him. I gave him my ear so many nights to wake up to the same hell like the previous night of good talks never happened. I can't tell you how negative my brother is. I've never met an equal. he brought, with this girl so much, no forced so much chaos into the household on a daily (weekends were the worst) at my moms house when us three where living there. I had a great job back at home with a financial adviser learning under him which I lost (one of the first jobs I've been fired from because he could see something was wrong with me.. i was showing up tired and beat down and couldn't perform) 

and now I'm the one that is all alone. my brother is 3 years older than me and is undoubtedly the alpha male. into the mma crowd and is actually friends with a few ufc fighters. After we had him committed I was then for a lack of a better term pushed out of the house as my mom who was mentally fried thought this was best. I don't blame her. It's so much more complex too, and I while I don't blame her, it was the way she did it that hurt me the most. Then you add the fact that she's the only person I had to talk to. I could babble on about games with councilors, how ****ty my friends are.. but I just need to vent out this horrible spelled and punctuated mess. why did i write this in this thread? I have no clue. I'm honestly looking forward to working with my new therapist/council who specializes in EMDR (i've met with her once last week, shes 28... which is a little intimidating talk to an attractive girl with this profession, but it really might be a good thing, her age. but still an interesting dynamic to say the least, it is a little different) There's so much too it, and I been in a shell since having my heart completely broken in college. I could ramble on another few paragraphs about that. In the end I feel quite angry at a lot of people, but the person I'm most mad at is myself. I find myself saying that I hate myself a lot. I can't even finish my prayers at night. I'm simply scared that this is all life has in store, and this is how it ends. **** on my ****ing chest.


----------



## shelbster18

Confused. One of the neighbors visited over here but didn't seem like her usual self. I said hey to her twice and she didn't say anything and when I talked loud while everyone else was in the kitchen she didn't say anything like "Oh, I didn't see you in there." She seemed fine when she was talking to everyone else.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## KILOBRAVO

fine really . The fancy mushroom recipe as recommended by the person I have met worked out pretty nice.  will deffo cook this again.


----------



## gopherinferno

I think I might kill someone today. I really think I might. I'm so angry. About everything. Also sad. And I want brownies or something. And my boobs hurt.


----------



## Babyblueboo96

_Anxious & Heartbroken._
_a bad combination..._


----------



## tea111red

yuck.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

very distressed


----------



## Nms563

Yajyklis10 said:


> Same here. I'm quite sad too. Not sure why I quoted you, but I just felt the need to let you know you aren't alone. Misery loves company, forgive me.
> 
> I hate seeing my mom cry, it just rips me apart.


Just been having a bad couple weeks. Hope things improve for you, I'm sure they will for me.


----------



## TabbyTab

Jealous for all the wrong reasons


----------



## alienjunkie

the way jeffrey dahmer probably did when he got caught


----------



## PandaRabies

_Down in the freaking dumps...I woke up yesterday to see that my bf added his ex as a friend on FB and she tagged him for being in a relationship with him..all his buddies said congrats yet he has been dating me and we where going to do everything. He hasn't even been online to explain himself and if she is just being trouble. I'm at the point to where I'm done..._


----------



## XxCrystalXx

Everyone is sad  I hope you all feel better.


----------



## goku23

like a small pig who's caught the attention of Rosie O'Donnell while she's dieting.


----------



## tea111red

i have a lot of anxiety about future events.


----------



## Flora20

Not so great right now...


----------



## thomasjune

Down and out
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tea111red

cursed.


----------



## alienjunkie

rejected


----------



## vana123

*sad lonely depressed*

i feel terrible. I feel sad and loney and depressed. I just want to die. I hate life.I keep telling myself that it will get better and to have hope but i just want to give up. Everyone hates me and Im just a ****ty person. I try to hard to make people like me and thats why no one likes me. I have no friends and no one to talk to. I hate myself even more for drowning in my own self pity. Which i am doing right now. Im selfish and immature and dumb. I just want to die so I dont have to be me anymore.


----------



## alienjunkie

So sad I wish I had a terminal illness so I could hurry up and die


----------



## coeur_brise

Like the zed word. 'What zed word?' You know, the zed word. I can't say it because well, I just can't. Undead. Pretty undead.


----------



## Andras96

I was feeling decent for half a day. Now I'm back to my depressed self again.


----------



## Charmeleon

Sick, think I'm gonna puke in a couple minutes uke


----------



## Nicole G

I am doing okay. Glad the sun is out.


----------



## Crisigv

don't even know anymore


----------



## tea111red

Like death on toast.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

fine. it was a nice day today, adn I have done stuff. I am gonna do some push ups later ..


----------



## Nicole G

hungry


----------



## Andras96

I'm just freakin' useless.


----------



## Kevin001

tea111red said:


> Like death on toast.


Same, lol.


----------



## BackToThePast

It's not a question of how, but a question of whether I am. I'm not.


----------



## Depressed94

I feel like cutting myself


----------



## SouthWest

I feel like a waste and a disappointment. I'm tired but it's 2:33 in the morning.


----------



## alienjunkie

forgotten


----------



## Kevin001

Tired.... but can't sleep.


----------



## IllusiveOne

Like a colossal failure


----------



## Lauraben

feel very lonely, sad and frustrated


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly fine. I felt a bit tired for no apparent reason earlier, but it seems to have passed now


----------



## TheClown7

I feel weird and kinda nervous. :serious:


----------



## CWe

Like absolute [email protected]@!!!


----------



## Kevin001

Anxious......my doctor gave me a number to call and I still haven't call. He gave me the number to find a counselor who offers biofeedback. He also said I could go online if I was too scared to make a phone call, I tried but I can't find anyone online. So I guess in the next couple of days I will have to get some courage to make this phone call.


----------



## Nicole G

A little bored and tired.


----------



## Andras96

I'm irritable as hell from tapering off these current meds.


----------



## Andras96

I'm sick of feeling like crap each day, constantly _wanting _to meet people while it never happens. If anyone else were me they would have given up completely by now, I'm so ****ing pathetic.


----------



## LubeBu

Depressed. Tired, though i can't sleep because my mind won't let me. I'dd like to get myself tired enough to go to bed. But i can't. There's nothing i can or want to do. There's nothing i can focus on.
I just the pain to stay away for a while. To have peace of mind..


----------



## TenYears

Used, abused and confused.


----------



## Strategist

Must procrastinate.


----------



## identificationunknown

I haven't slept a bit in past 22 hrs.. and i m starting to feel it..

as in end of my last sleep cycle was 22 hrs ago.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Gluttonous


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

Like a piece of ****.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

STUFFED haha! just had dinner


----------



## BackToThePast

massive headache


----------



## zonebox

*It is Friday !!
*









I get the next week off, going on vacation, life is good. And I'm about to make fried rigatoni that stuff is awesome.

Life is gewd, I am a happy man right now.

:grin2::grin2::grin2:​


----------



## purechaos

Like ****


----------



## StandardToast

I feel like a failure, and the worst thing is I know a lot of that is down to my perception, so I'm doing it to myself.


----------



## tea111red

i'm really exhausted and can't sleep. i'm starting to get panicky that i can't get rest.


----------



## CWe

Filled with volcanic rage atm


----------



## Nicole G

I'm doing okay.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

more or less fine.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bleak


----------



## TenYears

Awesome  Having fun with my kids at my parents' house. Playing with their new puppy. It's a Peek-a-Pom. He's nine weeks old and running around the house playing and licking and jumping on everyone.

Going to see "Inside Out" later, and then we have an Astros game tomorrow.


----------



## kivi

Nervous, anxious & a little bit sad


----------



## SilentLyric

a strange mixture of anxiety and boredom.


----------



## Kevin001

Very confused, these mood swings are killing me. I can't take much more.


----------



## BackToThePast

I cringed so hard at my previous posts my skin collapsed into my muscles.


----------



## shelbster18

Good. My butt seems to have gotten bigger even though I haven't done squats and I told a girl working at the grocery store that her earrings look cool.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## zonebox

It is Saturday!!!































I'm feeling great, another awesome day, I get the next week off, life is pretty good!

:smile2::grin2::smile2:

I went places today, got some frozen yogurt, checked out a few travel trailers, hung out with my brother on skype, drank a few beers.






I even got a subscriber today on youtube, had a few replies on videos, planned an amazing adventure for my brother and I in a few years. I am even learning to play the harmonica​


----------



## alienjunkie

Zooted


----------



## dollydaze

Well i was watching cat dog but then realized how lonely i was so now i'm here


----------



## Nicole G

okay as usual.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Borderline psychotic.


----------



## DarkHeart

Sad,angry,annoyed,jealous and most of all like all the time like no one understands


----------



## TabbyTab

Like absolute trash


----------



## CopadoMexicano

total disaster and beyond


----------



## tea111red

i feel like i want to be dead.


----------



## tea111red

just awful.


----------



## kivi

Angry. I want to go away and never see those people who think they're better than me because of a stupid thing. "You're younger, I am cleverer than you." I am pretty sure I can think better, I had so many times where I suggested something to them and they refused listening me and watched them trying over and over... if someone says this to me and see me inferior because of this, it's sure I hate them.


----------



## Surly Wurly

oh i totally forgot to mention, i had the most un-ergonomic breakfast ever this morning i'm not saying it got to me but i did have to kill some, well most of my neighbours afterwards










i was just doing my dishes there and remembered how annoying it was


----------



## Zosie92

Just can't be bothered to get out of bed. Meant to be meeting someone later but ughhhhh.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like disappearing


----------



## kivi

Bored


----------



## Kevin001

Very anxious, just got done talking on the phone for the second time today.......then I have my MRI on Friday......I'm freaking out.


----------



## Crisigv

Throat's hurting again.


----------



## tea111red

i feel so lonely and almost hopeless.


----------



## Kevin001

tea111red said:


> i feel so lonely and almost hopeless.


Wow, you've been on here since 2005? Still feeling hopeless? :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

Kevin001 said:


> Wow, you've been on here since 2005? Still feeling hopeless? :squeeze


yes.


----------



## tea111red

Kevin001 said:


> Wow, you've been on here since 2005? Still feeling hopeless? :squeeze


actually, i didn't become so hopeless until 4 1/2 yrs ago. my moods haven't always been the same. that comment annoyed me. it takes some people longer to get over their issues than others and not everyone has the same experiences in life.


----------



## Kevin001

tea111red said:


> actually, i didn't become so hopeless until 4 1/2 yrs ago. my moods haven't always been the same. that comment annoyed me. it takes some people longer to get over their issues than others and not everyone has the same experiences in life.


Ok, I understand....sorry.


----------



## SilkyJay

lonely.


----------



## Charmeleon

Me right now at 2:40am


----------



## tea111red

anxious.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Asthmatic & beer bloated


----------



## Surly Wurly

oh god these stroberries are unbelievable i'm freaking out so bad i cant spell

i swear this experience is greater than bacon, this is like what you THINK bacon is going to be like but it never is. bacon is like cigarettes, you get this intense psychological anticipation which never actually gets satisfied even when you get the home run : /

holy crap those strawberries delivered am i actually high or did that really happen


----------



## TabbyTab

Can I die soon


----------



## Xisha

Hangry. My life is so cake-deficient.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

emm. Ok. i suppose.


----------



## kivi

Sad


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Musical


----------



## Crisigv

restless


----------



## HenDoggy

hot


----------



## tea111red

i want to be affectionate.


----------



## Kevin001

Very confused.....my mood swings are getting worse. I don't know who I am.........its so frustrating.


----------



## undertakerfreak1127

Accomplished. Quit smoking five days ago, and I've been taking walks to reverse whatever damage I've done over the past five years. I can still run very fast, so that's a plus.


----------



## SofaKing

undertakerfreak1127 said:


> Accomplished. Quit smoking five days ago, and I've been taking walks to reverse whatever damage I've done over the past five years. I can still run very fast, so that's a plus.


Congratulations on such a major accomplishment...and a dang tough one too. Stay strong.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Tired and a little sad.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

ok i feel bit sleepy but i woke really early and I had to go somewhere this morning and the afternoon heat in the car made me feel tired . and i have just had dinner, and this has caused me to feel tired also. LOL


----------



## Nekomata

Bored and restless.


----------



## Drunky

Amazing how one person can make you feel like the worst person in the world without actually not doing anything wrong. Making me feel down but trying not to make it defeat me.


----------



## tea111red

Bored.


----------



## thomasjune

I feel great right now. My problem is that in about two minutes I'll feel like I wanna die (life sucks) and then I'll go back to life is freaking awesome. Mood swings :/
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Idontgetit

cloudy with a chance of meatballs


----------



## Depressed94

like ****


----------



## eveningbat

Headache.


----------



## tea111red

i don't want to say i feel worthless because that's not entirely true, but i feel pretty close to that right now. i just don't know how to feel good about myself and like i have any value. i need the right kind of nurturing to feel better.


----------



## blue2

Like a 650bhp alcohol fuelled race car that's been run on beer Its hurting my engine and I'm spluttering bad :/


----------



## lonerroom

artynerd said:


> This is just a place to vent, feel happy or feel sad or whatever your mood!
> 
> But if you are feeling glum, this is to anyone who needs a hug!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *hugs* =]
> 
> and if you are having a rough day, just know that someone out there cares about you.


Sad, I wish I had a real true friend.


----------



## shelbster18

Upset a little after doing a lot of research on sociopaths/psychopaths and I know for a fact I'm dealing with one but no use in telling anybody. I feel really sorry for this person. I'm stronger than people think, though. For someone that deals with one, I'm sure handling this pretty well. Guess that's what manipulation does. It's changed me in ways I still find hard to believe. It's a shame that anyone would suffer from a mental disorder like that. .___. Found out the hard way that I gotta fake it until I make it...Sucks that people like this usually can't be helped.


----------



## Lonelyguy111

*I Think This Says It All......*

Abused
Angry 
Bored 
Confused 
Depressed 
Envious 
Frustrated 
Helpless 
Hopeless 
Ignored 
Lonely 
Neglected 
Paranoid 
Remorseful 
Terrified
Tired 
Tortured 
Ugly 
Useless 
Victimized 

Feeling like I am in a prolonged, endless, horrifying nightmare.

Feeling like I am cursed in all I do and think and I do not know why.

Feeling like a 3 headed, smelly, drooling monster covered with leprosy and warts, looking like Frankenstein who everyone avoids - an outcast.


----------



## Theresa Ann

Truthfully, bored and kind of lonely. Blah. :/


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lonely


----------



## Surly Wurly

righteous; vengeful

the wee sh1te down the stairs kept me up late last night with her noisy and youthful pursuits and i had to lie in bed with my fan blowing on my face to cover up the racket. now we do a tutorial in "Music You Cannot Possibly Sleep Through This Morning"


----------



## Surly Wurly

mmm hot water on my hands and face, FEELZZZZZ GOOOOOOOODE >; D


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Amused


----------



## SofaKing

Kicking butt on my ambulance clinical today...may have just had a patient with an undiagnosed panic attack. It's sometimes good to be able to really empathize.


----------



## Perspicacious

Lightheaded.


----------



## TryingMara

Tired, bored.


----------



## tea111red

so BORED.


----------



## Surly Wurly

i am stimulated and hedonic


----------



## tea111red

stressed.


----------



## Kevin001

Very worried about my future. I have some tough decisions I have to make.


----------



## tea111red

i feel lonely. there's no one to talk to.


----------



## TenYears

tea111red said:


> i feel lonely. there's no one to talk to.


You'll be OK 

I've seen a lot of your posts tonight, and I feel the same way a lot of the time.

I have a gf who is unavailable half the time, I have no friends, and I have kids that I get to see every other weekend, if I'm lucky. I spend a whole, whole lot of time alone. Even at work.

You'll be OK, but if you ever want someone to talk to, you probably know I'm on here all the time lately.


----------



## tea111red

TenYears said:


> You'll be OK, but if you ever want someone to talk to, you probably know I'm on here all the time lately.


Your post helps. Thank you.  And sorry you feel lonely, too.


----------



## Roberto

I feel like I'm always pissed off.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

hmm Ok ..i suppose earlier today i felt anxious and a bit light headed most of it passed after some time but i feel still not 100% yet . not often this happens.


----------



## Mxx1

Sad


----------



## alienjunkie

dizzy


----------



## Crisigv

I'm feeling very ignored and forgotten. I really don't like being pushed aside or disregarded.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Misunderstood as usual.. And annoyed.


----------



## purechaos

****


----------



## Anonymous34987534

Sad, Lonely, depressed and unwanted


----------



## tea111red

unfulfilled, bored.


----------



## SofaKing

Overwhelmed!


----------



## CWe

Like turtle poop. Being sick is a [email protected]@@@!


----------



## thomasjune

Very tired. Like someone beat me down with a baseball bat.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## intheshadows

Meh.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like I can't wait to write the day off


----------



## AllieG

I feel like I should be sad but I am not. Huh. I hope I am not jinxing it by saying this, but maybe my depression is getting better.


----------



## TenYears

I'm actually feeling pretty OK for once lmao.

I'm in one of those very rare moods today where I actually feel pretty normal. Except for the fact that I'm probably gonna be up late. I'm looking forward to this weekend...I can't wait to see my kids. And my gf will be back from vacation. I miss her, can't wait to see her again.


----------



## tea111red

frustrated.


----------



## shelbster18

Annoyed that my boyfriend's step aunt yelled at me saying she'd kick me out when I do the laundry, sweep, vacuum, cook my food, pick up after myself, have manners, and I make tea for everyone when I don't even drink it because I prefer being on my feet doing things and being independent but I get no credit for all the help I do. I get my own groceries and put my part into staying here. Why does she have to be like this? One day, she wants to be sweet as can be to me and every now and then she yells at me for no reason because of small things like the fact I don't check the filter on the dryer when I check it everyday. I never did wash the dishes last night and I was going to wash them today. I busy yesterday. I can't do everything. Everyone I've ever met has been mean to me in some way. She knows I do my part and she told me I do a good job. Now, she threatens to kick me out once again all over some dishes. I get the dishes clean eventually. I never wait a full day to wash the dishes. And she can't get mad because I even asked to help her plenty of times and apparently she didn't want my help. She must love to tell me she's going to kick me out.


----------



## Aeiou

After 3 days with fever, I'm still feeling dizzy and weak, but better.
Being alone when you are ill ...it just sucks


----------



## Surly Wurly

holy crap what a day!

its difficult to explain...its just like everyone resigned themselves to wallowing in sh!t all day...but by sheer force of personality i emerged blazing like platinum in the light of a brilliant blue star! they could have rode the same wave i did and they chose not to! i just feel so light and free and all the rest are wallowing deeper and deeper into the excrement! LAWDY! i _totally _went full gandalf today










god DAMN!


----------



## BackToThePast

eh


----------



## Perspicacious

Alive.


----------



## CWe

Empty


----------



## Crisigv

Incredibly lonely


----------



## SofaKing

That the light at the end of my tunnel may be the train. I'm having trouble living in the moment when the things I want are still off in the distance...and I want them now.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Allergies, broke, helpless, numb


----------



## tea111red

sick. i've felt sick all day. i'm not throwing up and feeling like i'm dying anymore, but i'm still nauseous and achy. i think i'm getting a caffeine headache, too.

and depressed.


----------



## SandWshooter

Nerve paaaaaaaaaaain


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Increasingly anxious. My presentation is tomorrow and I'm starting to really feel the anxiety I was missing last week. At the moment I'm worried that it isn't long enough. In fact, if I just read off of my cue cards, it likely won't be long enough. I'll have to add things in on the fly, and I'm worried that severe anxiety will empty my mind and make it difficult or impossible to think of the necessary points. I know there is one other person in my class who is talking about transgender people, and I'm motivated to make sure that my presentation is better than hers because... I don't like her very much. I think it'd be rather embarrassing for her if the social-trainwreck-loser did a better presentation than her. 

I got the marks back for my last presentation the other day. The teacher just kind of forgot about them for weeks. My marks were mostly highs, one medium (which was eye-contact), and the rest very highs. It's really rather ironic.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Musical


----------



## natsume

Tired as heck... I barely got any sleep tonight.


----------



## twitchy666

*really tired in the mornings*

I've tried reducing my dosage to a quarter all week to see what happens


----------



## tea111red

i feel so depressed and hopeless about some things changing for the better right now.


----------



## tea111red

bored. come on, when am i going to find some good entertainment.......


----------



## calichick

I like this advice in this article...

DearEvan,

I am 25 years old and have never been in a serious relationship. I am a very attractive girl and I tend to meet guys easily and go on dates mostly every weekend. My problem is that it never leads to anything more than that. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but the date will go really well and things tend to either move really slow, I won’t hear from them after our date for a week or so, or not at all. My friends all have boyfriends, and I’m really looking to settle down. Can you help me? By the way, it never gets farther than kissing with me. I realize that if they don’t stick around because I won’t have sex with them, then at least I know. It just seems that’s all they are looking for. It seems that attractive girls only get guys that want to sleep with them.
Why can’t I meet a guy who sees me as more?

Ashley

Dear Ashley,

Today, I’m going to take a controversial stance. I’m going heap some sympathy on the pretty girl.

Does the pretty girl have the same issues as the fat girl? No. The pretty girl never lacks for attention. Heads turn when she walks into the room. Men leap to attention and whisper to each other before approaching. Yes, the pretty girl has more dates than she needs and probably has a waiting list a mile long. What could possibly be wrong with this scenario?

By being singled out for being attractive, you’re never, ever considered “normal.”
Well, if you’re a pretty girl or you know a pretty girl, you know exactly what’s wrong.

You’re an object to men.

You never know why someone likes you.

You can be intimidating without trying.

You can come across as aloof even if you’re just shy.

You’re instantly hated by a lot of other women.

You’re assumed to be dumb by many men.

You may be insecure, but people have trouble believing it.

You’re given things by men for no reason (Free dinners! Vacations! No speeding tickets!), which creates an odd power dynamic.

You’re catered to so frequently that you may lack some kindness, empathy or social grace. When you’re constantly put on a pedestal, it’s hard to be in sync with “normal” people. This is the same thing that afflicts celebrities, by the way. Except they get to claim “diva” status. You’re just known as a *****.

That last one is just my observation about beautiful people and doesn’t necessarily apply to you. But the point is, by being singled out for being attractive, you’re never, ever considered “normal”…

As a result, you become a lifelong target—a trophy for men to bag. And make no mistake about it, most men want to bag you. For anyone to deny this is patently foolish. I’m as sensitive a guy as you’re going to find in terms of how I communicate with women, but I can still remember the rush of dating a Perfect 10. It was as if her magical glow rubbed off on me in some way when she walked into a room. And if I can be seduced by physical attraction, and the glory that comes with landing such a specimen, I would have to assume that 95% of the red-blooded, conscience-free men would feel the same way.

Put it this way—when I was single, if I had a chance to sleep with…I don’t know…who is the most distasteful female celebrity? Paris Hilton, maybe? Yeah, I’d do it. Just to be able to say I did. I wouldn’t want to have to make pillow talk, or cook her breakfast, or call her the following day. I just want to have the meaningless experience and cheap thrill that comes along with sex with a celebrity.

Men are to pretty girls what paparazzi are to celebrities. Their constant validation makes them feel important. Their ulterior motives make them feel used and disposable.
To me, that’s the perfect metaphor—very attractive women ARE celebrities. They get lavished with attention and praise. They get perks just for being pretty. Their mere presence makes people excited, nervous, fearful, giddy. And while it might seem like a great ride being a celebrity, tell that to poor Britney. Or Mariah. Or any of the people who crumble from the pressure and attention foisted upon them.

Men are to pretty girls what paparazzi are to celebrities. Their constant validation makes them feel important. Their ulterior motives make them feel used and disposable.

I know I’ve gone on a bit of a tangent here, Ashley, because it’s very rare that we hear that the root of someone’s problems stems from being too attractive, but I believe that is the case.

Some of the most attractive women I know in Los Angeles—tall blondes with thin waists and big boobs—are 40 and single, because nice guys don’t approach them and slimy guys are always on the make.

What’s really difficult for pretty girls is trying to assess when a guy IS sincere. I mean, it’s tough enough for an average woman to tell when a guy is interested in a relationship or sex. Imagine what it’s like when you’re objectified wherever you go. You start to mistrust everybody. You make nice guys pay for the sins of bad guys. And you think that if you insist on not doing any more than kissing that you’re weeding out the “wrong” guys. You may also be weeding out some decent guys. Although it’s unpopular to say, sex is rightfully important to men. A reasonable man with looks and money and life experience might very well say to himself, after five dates with nothing more than a kiss, “Screw this. I’m going to find a woman who matches my passion, who makes me feel attractive and sexy, who is excited about me.”

It’s not that you’re wrong for attempting to protect yourself, Ashley. It’s that your layers of protection may be having an unintended side effect—putting off otherwise well-meaning men who don’t want to feel like they’re in seventh grade all over again.

So how do you decide if a man is interested in you or interested in sex? Well, there’s this previous blog post that discusses this phenomenon. And I’m delighted to report that I actually have a five minute VIDEO that takes on the same topic. Enjoy.

Despite your very accurate concerns that men want to sleep with the pretty girl, pretty girls get married ALL THE TIME. You want to know how? They let down their guard, they take a chance, and they TRUST. That would be my advice to you as well.

Good luck.


----------



## tea111red

anxious.
ick.


----------



## BackToThePast

im feeling gr8


----------



## CWe

Tired and energized at the same damn time 0_o


----------



## ScorchedEarth

I feel like I'm dancing off a cliff. Everything's dandy until you find no ground under your feet.


----------



## Surly Wurly

every time i'm on here i keep thinking of the word "ganache". i only think of it on here and it happens a lot. i saw a recipe yesterday that had ganache in it and i was like "oh theres that word again, the one from SAS"


its probably quite trite to say this but i mean it sincerely, i kinda wish i could have a few parts taken out of my brain.


----------



## alienjunkie

not great


----------



## SofaKing

Tired...not enough sleep...too much driving.


----------



## TabbyTab

hella anxious. I just made a big purchase at target alone, and had to pay for everything my self and I was like shaking the whole time at the register hhhhj but i survived it. :^)


----------



## natsume

I'm feeling quite well today! I'm currently at work and it's going easy. I hope this day passes by quick so I can relax later on.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

more or less fine i suppose


----------



## Surly Wurly

homicidal crescendo is tailing off, i'd love to cry out some of these leftover stress hormones, i only require a modest bosom for this pls inbox me


----------



## Nonsensical

Like the cats meow


----------



## wonderlandianfaerie

Major anxiety. I was angry earlier but now I just have this random anxiety laughing thing happening every minute or so.


----------



## i suck at life

stressed, depressed, guilty....i want to talk to him!!!! but i cant :'(


----------



## CWe

Radiating sadness from every pore atm


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, dizzy, frustrated, and I have a head ache.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I feel pretty happy right now, and I'm making this post only because I don't think I've ever once made a post saying I felt anything other than rubbish. Well maybe in some of my posts it's been implied, but yeah.


----------



## Surly Wurly

Persephone The Dread said:


> I feel pretty happy right now, and I'm making this post only because I don't think I've ever once made a post saying I felt anything other than rubbish. Well maybe in some of my posts it's been implied, but yeah.


thats a good reason to post. i find i often cant really process that i have good times sometimes, so its quite useful to sort of build a wee monument or something every time you feel good or have a good day. just so you remember this good mood amma "batter" you with pie (oh lordy)


----------



## JustThisGuy

^ Yay! Go, Pers! Feel the vibes of Punk Rock Panda flow through you.



SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious, dizzy, frustrated, and I have a head ache.


Same, same, same and same.

I feel kinda down. We're putting my grandma in a home. It seems nice, but I saw sad old people in there and it brought me down more. I say more because I just got out of hand therapy and my middle finger is locked. I still don't have a grip and my left index has yet to grow back. (I know it's not coming back, it was a joke. No one "break" it to me.)

I also ate out and my stomach is queasy. I'm uncomfortably full. On top of it being 95 degrees out. It's miserable.


----------



## Amorphousanomaly

REALLY drunk rn. About to get sum and get to bed.


----------



## tea111red

ugly, ick.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Chilly


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed
Hopeless
Worthless
Ugly
Fat
Annoying


----------



## shelbster18

Like my appetite has decreased over the past two weeks. I just have a small appetite and even thinking about sweet things most of the time doesn't make me feel good. If I don't eat much, I know I'll just get nauseous again. Don't know why I'm lacking my appetite.


----------



## tea111red

eeeeehhhhh. bored.


----------



## lotuslots1

i work. Which is normally just manageable. I sit behind my computer 8 hours a day five days a week and that is my job. But next week i have an obligatory out of office all of staff workshop. Where we are all expected to participate. As in stand up and express our views. And i will be away sick. Im already known as the anti-social . The quiet. The hide in the corners type. So even before the obligatory workshop starts people are joking about how i will be away sick to avoid it. So management are now apparently on the alert for my absence. I will be away sick. There is no way i can attend. But now i have to expect fallout because i cant do what apparently 99% of the staff can do easily. Im so over being me.


----------



## Kevin321

Feeling like crap.


----------



## anomnomnom

Pretty ****e

forcing myself to play a video game just to act as a distraction

I used to love the weekends, id rather be back at work..so empty :frown2:


----------



## tea111red

overwhelmed
drained
uninspired
lost


----------



## tea111red

i just feel like in order to make progress i have to jump through so many hoops and i feel exhausted when i think about this. how does a person even get up the energy to jump through all the hoops and take all the steps....


----------



## Dregine

I feel empty...


----------



## Surly Wurly

like a 80 year old granny that woke up as a shaman and couldnt be bothered


----------



## Kevin001

Actually pretty good.


----------



## sweetluvgurl

Alone and depressed. I just want to feel better and to have a social life.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

Mostly fine, and pleased cause, I thought I had been doing an excersise in the wrong form, , and now I have found out that what i was doing was OK.


----------



## TryingMara

Very tired.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Angry, disappointed, exasperated, sad that my point isn't getting across, worthless, plain horrible.
Sometimes I really really hate I'm stuck with this kind of life.


----------



## SilkyJay

Like an idiot.


----------



## typemismatch




----------



## SofaKing

typemismatch said:


>


Like..um...like:
Cheesin'
Cheesy
Cheesecake?
Wedge
Trivial pursuit?
Pac-Man

Am I getting warm?


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, depressed, worried


----------



## WinterDave

The key is to survive thee next 24 hours, few days, and few weeks, without having a nervous breakdown, getting arrested, ending up in a hospital, or worse.....

It's been really bad for me too for the past year or two....

Right now, I am just hanging on....

But I am not going to do anything that would destroy my mother, and I am hoping things will get a little better in a couple of months, work, life changes, doctors, medication, detox, rehab etc....

Sometimes, just getting through the next 24 hours is the hardest part, finding small things to do to occupy you for a while seems to help....


----------



## saya2077

Very
very
lonely


----------



## meepie

Sleepy @[email protected]


----------



## Surly Wurly

im on such a high. really kicked aaazzzzz today. if i could just force myself to try to rise to the occassion more frequently, i'd be beastin 25/8

goodness gracious


----------



## tea111red

eh. lonely, i guess. what's new...


----------



## Surly Wurly

i have sore quadriceps. which reminds me. im about overdue for a massage


----------



## meepie

meepie said:


> Sleepy @[email protected]


I slept for 3 hrs after this post.


----------



## SilentLyric

defeated. I just want to feel better already. I hate not breathing through my nose and having sinus pressure all the time. they make sa worse and it's leaving me feeling depressed.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious
Bored
Tired


----------



## SofaKing

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious
> Bored
> Tired


Ah yes, the dreaded ABTs. We need a good thread for probable deletion.


----------



## BackToThePast

I thought I felt okay, but damn, maybe if I didn't stay up all night browsing SAS while alone with my thoughts I wouldn't feel like crap all the time. A sane sleeping schedule is long overdue.


----------



## shelbster18

Excited. I'm having a baby niece. My sister's going to name her Joanne Quinn. I don't care for the Quinn part too much. It will be interesting to see her grow up. That will be a new experience. Would be cool in a way if it was a boy. My mom said she was kinda hoping for a boy. I'm happy either way.


----------



## tea111red

Irritated.


----------



## mcmuffinme

I feel like I have no direction in my life, and like I can't rely on anyone. I just want to find a place to live where I can afford to be alone, and kill myself as soon as I can establish distance with the people allege to care about me. They don't care. I hate them for pretending that they do. It's all just a ruse to make themselves feel like good people. I hate life. I hate being here.


----------



## CharlieH

Hopeless. Forever trying to fit in and failing miserably.


----------



## visualkeirockstar

Lonely and depressed.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

KyleInSTL said:


> Ah yes, the dreaded ABTs. We need a good thread for probable deletion.


Reported! :laugh:

I'm still bored, and I'm still anxious. Am I allowed to say that?!


----------



## anomnomnom

Tired & Lonely

Sums it up

I really don't know when my loneliness decided to consume my entire being, its really quite pitiful


----------



## alienjunkie

depressed as heck


----------



## slyfox

Lost and without hope


----------



## KILOBRAVO

hmm, fine , had a decent day with bits achieved


----------



## Moxria

Today is not too bad - Looking forward to a night of netflix and junk food


----------



## Surly Wurly

i need to get a mail order bride, if only so that someone can see how consistently amazeballs my cooking is. pull this sh1t out of the freezer that i made a few days ago and im having an out of body experience here


come at me third world hotties


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## TryingMara

Bored and a little nervous.


----------



## bad baby

.


----------



## bad baby

...not helping lol ._.


----------



## Crisigv

Extremely lonely
Depressed
Restless
Frustrated

I'm pretty convinced my life won't change. I am having more bad days than good lately. It used to be the other way around. I'm kind of scared.


----------



## ScorchedEarth

I feel like I might be gone in a week.


----------



## tea111red

yuck.


----------



## calichick

Men. Are. So. CONFUSING.


----------



## truant

I think I just ate bad tuna.

Just putting this here in case I disappear from the forum. That way, when they break down the door to figure out what's causing the odor people will know what happened.

Been a treat, folks.


----------



## slyfox

sick to my stomach. Not sure if I'm coming down with something


----------



## PlayerOffGames

not good


----------



## Skeletra

I'm going down.
I feel stupid, unattractive, boring and worthless.

 Don't see the point of waking up tomorrow.


----------



## Kevin001

Neutral.......I hope I feel good later but I have a feeling I won't.


----------



## strongsilentone

Crisigv said:


> Extremely lonely
> Depressed
> Restless
> Frustrated
> 
> I'm pretty convinced my life won't change. I am having more bad days than good lately. It used to be the other way around. I'm kind of scared.


that sums up the way I 've been feeling. I sure hope that i personally don't have a long life if this "is it" for me..but I have faint optimism i just don't know how to be.


----------



## saya2077

Depressed and lonely


----------



## TryingMara

Like a failure. And embarrassed and ashamed.


----------



## PhilipJ

Too Old. I'm 25 with little to show for it. 

And I can sort of see how I allowed myself to get so depressed and distant in my mid-late teens, leading to feeling like I'm a lap behind everyone else, even if that isn't always true. It's just a bad feeling. You miss every shot you don't take, but there's still time and opportunity out there if I can get my **** together.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Antisocial. I'd say everyone can go to hell but I don't want more company


----------



## BackToThePast

It's hard not to feel frustrated in a place where smiling and being positive will win you friends. All this work for something that's not guaranteed at best, is it honestly worth it? I should ask myself that more often.


----------



## SilkyJay

Tired, but not tired at all. Just feel really alone. Been such a crazy last few years, and being on my own to figure things out has been mentally and physically exhausting. I feel like a turd.


----------



## GangsterOfLove

Fat and old.


----------



## kivi

Very tired. I have been visiting historical places in this city since morning.


----------



## tea111red

well, i don't quite feel lonely, but i feel like i want to talk to people.


----------



## Mikie

Not so bad at the moment but the night is young. Id love a conversation about nothing negative.


----------



## StaceyLaine14

Really sad


----------



## tea111red

I want to be hugged and told nice things or something......by a guy....that I would like.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm feeling ignored and lonely.


----------



## Depo

I feel fine... and sleepy. Time to go to bed. :smile2:


----------



## Abbyi25

Hi everybody I'm new and going to a new school. I've been in the same elementary school for 7 years so I'm nervous. I have one friend who barely talks to me, everyone treats me like a baby, and I'm always feeling sick. What makes it worse is that I only talk to my parents and my sister.
I was dared not to talk by my "friend"
Anna. She had moved away around 2nd grade, and now she's going to my middle
School and I want to kill her.


----------



## Abbyi25

The only person who listens and understands me is my 7 year old sister.


----------



## Abbyi25

I feel like I'm the only one here


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Wholly Alien


----------



## kivi

Bored and angry


----------



## TenYears

Anxious, scared, worried.


I hope my friend is OK.


She's probably in the emergency room. She doesn't have any friends that I know of, and her family has pretty much disowned her. And she just needs someone there to hold her hand and be there and tell her it's going to be OK.


I hate, hate, hate her mother for not being there for her. What a selfish, narcissistic evil crazy woman OMFG!
She's over a thousand miles away, otherwise I'd be there.


Ffs. I'm praying for her. And I don't even have a God to pray to, really.


----------



## Monkeygirl

soo hungry


----------



## mr hoang

So sleepy. If i fall asleep id feel like id be wasting time on my day off. Theres so much to do 😩


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Gassy, hungry, tired, dirty, defeated


----------



## tea111red

zzzZZzzzZZzZ


----------



## Abbyi25

Feeling sick, sad, and uncomfortable


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly fine .


----------



## Kevin001

Ok, I guess. Still have a long night in front of me.


----------



## theloneleopard

Depleted.


----------



## ApathyDivine

Bad because I hate being broke.


----------



## Reckoner7

Bored, I need some friends.

*states obvious*


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

My bed is old now, and sleeping in it is giving me neck strain.


----------



## tea111red

bored. no good solution right now.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

profound sadness i dont have time for boredom.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

MOSTLY fine . yay


----------



## bad baby

like dis -

:c


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious
Sad
Annoyed with myself


----------



## losthismarbles

Extremely hurt, and alone.


----------



## SilkyJay

Weird


----------



## Abbyi25

I feel sad my 7 year old sister is so mean and gets me in trouble.


----------



## reaffected

Despondent.


----------



## Monkeygirl

Feel really sad and want to cry.


----------



## Flora20

Kind of sleepy.


----------



## Zaidi

It's more like I was playing hide and seek and no one ever came searching for me. xD


----------



## Winds




----------



## KILOBRAVO

i am fine, even tho I have had some irritations today... I know how to fix it.


----------



## kivi

Lonely. I was feeling normal and I thought about my future. It made me think about my inability to trust other people (I think I won't even share the house I am staying with someone and being someone's partner scares me too much  ) I am pushing my chances to be happy. Being a coward takes away my ability to love people, it makes me sad.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hot, restless, awkward, mildly buzzed


----------



## s12345

Feeling furious.


----------



## BackToThePast

I feel like I'm relating to people here less the more I spend my time here. But I guess that's alright as long as I stay in my own protective bubble and avoid certain topics, certain people. Heh, just like in the real world.


----------



## SENNA

Pretty good, just had some great thrusting.


----------



## TabbyTab

feelin so fresh cuz I just brushed my teeth


----------



## Flora20

So bored -.- and kinda annoyed.


----------



## tea111red

eh

hmm

zzzz


----------



## tea111red

weak-minded.


----------



## SENNA

Average


----------



## kivi

Exhausted


----------



## CWe

Jealousy and rage baby


----------



## theinsomniac

Regretful, lonely, nostalgic


----------



## brokenhead

I feel down because I don't have any friends. I can't find anyone who's like me and likes the same things. I don't know...


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Disgusting


----------



## tea111red

I'm so frustrated!!


----------



## SofaKing

tea111red said:


> I'm so frustrated!!


frustrated at?


----------



## tea111red

brokenhead said:


> I feel down because I don't have any friends. *I can't find anyone who's like me and likes the same things.* I don't know...


ugh. me, too. i've been searching and searching for people like me for years and it's been so frustrating not finding many like me. i just want to be able to relate and be understood. i just want to have people irl i can turn to. the internet helps, but it's really not fulfilling enough for me.



KyleInSTL said:


> frustrated at?


just various things. all these attempts to get a better routine, to sleep normally (i can't seem to sleep for long periods of time), not feeling connected, loneliness, etc. i'm just tired. tired of trying and getting crap results. i don't know how to change my life for the better.


----------



## tea111red

man, i'm feeling a little suicidal now.


----------



## SofaKing

tea111red said:


> just various things. all these attempts to get a better routine, to sleep normally (i can't seem to sleep for long periods of time), not feeling connected, loneliness, etc. i'm just tired. tired of trying and getting crap results. i don't know how to change my life for the better.


These are sentiments I'm all too familiar with. There are no magical answers... I could give you all the perfunctory comments and "hugs" I can, but you know that it isn't a fix.

Just know that you aren't alone...and that I can attest..that while the path appears to be mysterious, long, and almost impossible to follow, that there is another day. I guess that's my perfunctory comment that I said I wouldn't make.


----------



## tea111red

KyleInSTL said:


> These are sentiments I'm all too familiar with. There are no magical answers... I could give you all the perfunctory comments and "hugs" I can, but you know that it isn't a fix.
> 
> Just know that you aren't alone...and that I can attest..that while the path appears to be mysterious, long, and almost impossible to follow, that there is another day. I guess that's my perfunctory comment that I said I wouldn't make.


heh, thanks.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Bored. I need to get out more.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hot, sticky, & cider buzzed


----------



## TenYears

tea111red said:


> man, i'm feeling a little suicidal now.


I hope you're feeling better. I know the feeling. You should try to talk it out. There are plenty of people on this forum that would be more than happy to talk to you, Tea (including me). I've lost someone very close to me to suicide so when I see those words here I freak out a bit.


----------



## Crisigv

Not good, not good at all.


----------



## tea111red

TenYears said:


> I hope you're feeling better. I know the feeling. You should try to talk it out. There are plenty of people on this forum that would be more than happy to talk to you, Tea (including me). I've lost someone very close to me to suicide so when I see those words here I freak out a bit.


well, i guess when i say stuff like that i really just mean i wish i had something to knock me out and make me sleep for awhile so i don't have to think about how lonely and depressed i feel. i mean, i want to live, but then sometimes i don't want to because it's so painful to feel so lonely and unable to connect w/ people irl. i like talking to people on the internet, but i need to have someone irl i can talk to regularly and someone who can be there for me in the flesh, too.

websites where you meet people just don't seem like my thing. i don't feel like i'll meet anyone off of there that i can really connect w/. i feel like i just want to connect w/ other depressed and lonely people since depression and loneliness has been apart of my life for decades. i'm not sure if i should join some support group irl or what. i don't know.


----------



## TenYears

tea111red said:


> well, i guess when i say stuff like that i really just mean i wish i had something to knock me out and make me sleep for awhile so i don't have to think about how lonely and depressed i feel. i mean, i want to live, but then sometimes i don't want to because it's so painful to feel so lonely and unable to connect w/ people irl. i like talking to people on the internet, but i need to have someone irl i can talk to regularly and someone who can be there for me in the flesh, too.
> 
> websites where you meet people just don't seem like my thing. i don't feel like i'll meet anyone off of there that i can really connect w/. i feel like i just want to connect w/ other depressed and lonely people since depression and loneliness has been apart of my life for decades. i'm not sure if i should join some support group irl or what. i don't know.


I know the feeling, trust me, I do. I have friends at work I talk to but you know, that's just not the same. I have an estranged gf that I found out was married, and was only available half the time anyway, and liked to use me as her emotional punching bag. I don't get much "real" interaction at all. I spend a whole lot of time in the bedroom of my one bedroom apartment by myself. So I know how that feels. I'm sorry.

I know internet friends are just not the same, at all.

You'll find someone you can connect with and so will I, I think we just have to keep putting ourselves out there. I know that's so cliche, I'm sorry.

I've actually met some very cool people in support groups. I have several on fb. We just don't hang out anymore (my fault). I've also met a few really crazies lol.

I try to remind myself that there are other socially anxious and / or introverted people out there. We just don't ever meet up. For obvious reasons. But don't give up.


----------



## tea111red

TenYears said:


> I know the feeling, trust me, I do. I have friends at work I talk to but you know, that's just not the same. I have an estranged gf that I found out was married, and was only available half the time anyway, and liked to use me as her emotional punching bag. I don't get much "real" interaction at all. I spend a whole lot of time in the bedroom of my one bedroom apartment by myself. So I know how that feels. I'm sorry.
> 
> I know internet friends are just not the same, at all.
> 
> You'll find someone you can connect with and so will I, I think we just have to keep putting ourselves out there. I know that's so cliche, I'm sorry.
> 
> I've actually met some very cool people in support groups. I have several on fb. We just don't hang out anymore (my fault). I've also met a few really crazies lol.
> 
> I try to remind myself that there are other socially anxious and / or introverted people out there. We just don't ever meet up. For obvious reasons. But don't give up.


Thanks, man.  Your post has given me some comfort and that's what I need right now.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel fine today.

but but last night I felt great , cause she did somethign special and exciting for me and it was very nice and made me pretty happy  yay.


----------



## Kevin001

Anxious and pressured. My Uncle wants me to go to Hooters with him. I can't handle all that stimuli, plus that place is always packed.


----------



## mr hoang

essemsee said:


> I'd rather be angry than sad because letting myself be sad means realizing that I lost my best friend.


To me sadness is just anger without enthusiasm lol. Im sorry you lost your best friend &#128533;


----------



## Flora20

I'm feeling pretty good right now.


----------



## Seiyoku

Feel like beating the **** out of myself. Despite how much I've got going for me and how enthusiastic about life I _should_ be, I keep allowing myself to fall into states of lethargy and melancholy because of the few things that overwhelm my emotions and thoughts. I hate myself for not loving myself as I am. Screw paradoxes.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm having a random panic attack right now.......ugh.


----------



## Whatev

2007ish


----------



## tea111red

trapped.


----------



## Surly Wurly

manly


----------



## tea111red

hopeless when it comes to finding someone that would date and then stay w/ me, lol.


----------



## SENNA

Like a purring cat


----------



## SofaKing

Pretty decent. Worked my first cardiac arrest as a paramedic student. Got high praise from the supervising medics. Maybe I can do this stuff after all.


----------



## burgerchuckie

bloated


----------



## eveningbat

KyleInSTL said:


> Pretty decent. Worked my first cardiac arrest as a paramedic student. Got high praise from the supervising medics. Maybe I can do this stuff after all.


So glad you did it! Congratulations! You really have skills.


----------



## eveningbat

RadnessaurousRex said:


> Not good, I've been puking all day. I can't seem to hold food down.


What happened? Did you eat something wrong? You need to calm down your stomach. Try charcoal tablets, or pepto-bismol (if available in your country), or take a few dry skins of pomegranate and pour a glass of hot boiled water, let it brew for some 10 minutes and drink. It should be a little bitter, but very soothing for the stomach. I hope it helps. Let us know how you feel later.


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

Pretty retarded.


----------



## theloneleopard

In need of some quality human interaction!


----------



## SofaKing

theloneleopard said:


> In need of some quality human interaction!


Pick me! Oh, quality? Hmm...well...I hope you find it, too.


----------



## ljubo

like this...


----------



## shelbster18

A mixture of nervousness and excitement because I'm moving into the country sometime. Don't know when but I'm so glad it's about the same distance from there to my mom's house as it is from where I'm living now to my mom's house. I think it's going to be a double wide trailer. If that's the case, I'll have more privacy.


----------



## SilkyJay

relief


----------



## selfloathingregular

First day back at work, just took a pill for a headache. I also have been sleeping at odd times since my vacation in the US, due to time differences.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like ****


----------



## Yeshaya

Wanting to cry


----------



## mr hoang

I smoked a joint earlier and now i feel like dying. I dont feel good about myself at all 😩


----------



## j4y22

Sad. Lonely. Angry. Hopeless. Constantly wanting to cry


----------



## eveningbat

RadnessaurousRex said:


> I'm feeling a bit better today thanks, a little dizzy but I'm good. Maybe I did eat something bad, I dunno though.


OK, glad you are feeling some better now. Please get well.


----------



## uziq

meh


----------



## Reckoner7

Whats worse than not haviong anything is trying so hard and ending up with nothing, it takes the fight out of you eventually.


----------



## Monkeygirl

tired


----------



## JustThisGuy

Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!


----------



## mr hoang

Tired of bull****. Why do i put up with so much ****?


----------



## Crisigv

Oh my god, I think I'm going to have a panic attack, I can't breathe. I'm done.


----------



## MaePa

I'm feeling tired, sleepy. Hearing the rain trickling outside my window and the thunder rumbling doesn't help any. Storms tend to make me feel cozy when I'm at home. But I still have workouts to do, so I can't fall asleep, aaah!


----------



## TenYears

Crisigv said:


> Oh my god, I think I'm going to have a panic attack, I can't breathe. I'm done.


Find a dark room, where you can be alone, and just breathe. You need to get away from everything. I get this way too, sometimes...you need to get away. You will be ok.


----------



## euphoria04

2 hours of sleep later, I'm a functioning zombie. Gonna quit my day job and go audition for a role on The Walking Dead


----------



## LostinReverie

Hungry and like I want to puke at the same time.


----------



## SENNA




----------



## animeflower6084

Feeling depressed right now. My parents are more than likely going to take the cat to the vet tommorow and have him put to sleep. Yeah I can admit I really didn't like the cat but since he's been part of the family for 13 1/2 years, he feels like an actual family member and in all honesty I'm truly going to miss the cat, especially feeding him at night it was the only time we actually got a long. :crying:

Edit: it's official my parents both agreed the cat needs to be put to sleep tomorrow. :crying:


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Surprised by the news that Chelsea signed Pedro...otherwise blah


----------



## ShatteredGlass

strange... slightly shaky & agitated for some reason.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Like life is always trying to find new and inventive ways to suck money out of me until I'm ruined completely.


----------



## Crisigv

I don't even know. My emotions are all over the place.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty good.I feel kinda happy.

I have been to a new place today and discovered some new things there.

Plus . I am happy to be talking to her. she understands and agrees with me . makes me smile and feel good about myself and about her.

Being hurt in the past by someone I stupidly entrusted my emotions upon gets less and less everyday and I move on and forget


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I feel like I took Commodium and then ate way too much popcorn.


----------



## quesara

Stomach is in knots over my tattoo appointment this afternoon, and of course the pain is the least of my worries. I know it'll be worth it when it's all over, but goddamn.


----------



## TenYears

I wanna take a one way trip to a Hawaiian island.


Comeoniwannalayya. 


Oh ffs.


I really need to get laid.


Ffs.


----------



## kizza20

Hate myself :crying:


----------



## Spirit queen

Like ****...


----------



## Crisigv

I think I have one long stretch of sadness in my future.


----------



## flockfox

I have been feeling a little down lately...My friend send me a link to this song..It might be of help for some too.


----------



## shadyacres

Tired today procrastinating to the max atm


----------



## indiscipline

Tired/annoyed/amused/confused. I don't know what's worse; the sound of loud children playing just outside my window, or the kindergarten lady joining in while imitating the sound of an airplane. (she did it it again just now, I'm cracking up)


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i still feel pretty goooood yay!


----------



## thomasjune

I feel great. It's Friday and I have nothing to do this weekend.. I love doing absolutely nothing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mixed bag like this cool grey day


----------



## meghankira

nervous about a college tour i'm going on tomorrow


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

meghankira said:


> nervous about a college tour i'm going on tomorrow


Exciting! Have you been on any others yet?


----------



## Kevin001

Ok, for now. I hope it stays this way.


----------



## meghankira

Wings of Amnesty said:


> Exciting! Have you been on any others yet?


i've been on two so far. neither of them i really fell in love with so hoping that this school i like haha


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

meghankira said:


> i've been on two so far. neither of them i really fell in love with so hoping that this school i like haha


Are you planning to live away or commute? This seems like very strange timing, if you're going this fall that is very late to be visiting now, and if you're going next fall this is extremely early. I don't think I visited schools until April of my graduation year.


----------



## mr hoang

Feeling like I need to turn things around soon or its not gonna look good anymore.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

still pretty good ! yay


----------



## meghankira

Wings of Amnesty said:


> Are you planning to live away or commute? This seems like very strange timing, if you're going this fall that is very late to be visiting now, and if you're going next fall this is extremely early. I don't think I visited schools until April of my graduation year.


its about an hour away so i'd live on. i am going to be a senior so i'm applying this fall! its good to know you visited a little late tho haha cuz i feel behind on this college stuff


----------



## kaitlynlw22

Really anxious and overwhelmed :[


----------



## gopherinferno

i have a sore throat a throbbing head an aching body a general disdain for being conscious i'm impatient to order my kava and there's a thunderstorm right now so i'm worried the power will go out and i'll have to just lay here alone with my pain and thoughts


----------



## 684625

I was feeling quite down in the dumps and nearly ready to cry, but when I turned on my laptop up popped a picture of an anime/videogame character, (honestly no clue who he is, probably fanart), smiling at me. I had completely forgotten I had put it on and it was just so nice I had to smile. So I'm feeling a little better.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Got that sense that everything about me is wrong, can never shake it


----------



## Countess

Mediocre, weak, ignoble.


----------



## Buttered Toast

Lonely, miserable, and utterly bored with life.

But at least I'm easily distracted!


----------



## Crisigv

I'm so lonely, useless, hopeless. It's getting really hard being around people who talk about their lives. They talk about their babies, their upcoming marriages, the new houses they bought. I put on a fake smile, but I'm screaming inside.


----------



## Kevin001

Terrible, I was having an ok day but not anymore. I'm tired of these mood swings.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Crisigv said:


> I'm so lonely, useless, hopeless. It's getting really hard being around people who talk about their lives. They talk about their babies, their upcoming marriages, the new houses they bought. I put on a fake smile, but I'm screaming inside.


I know that feeling well, it is not easy to listen to sometimes. I can be genuinely happy for them, they have earned and worked for those things and I'm glad I get to see them experience them and see their happiness, but there is that tinge of sadness for some opportunities lost for sure.

You're not worthless or hopeless, no matter how it looks now  Everything is just that little bit harder when you have a hard time seeing the value in yourself, but it's there  don't doubt that. Hopefully when you do see it, that fake smile will be a real one 

Best Wishes,


----------



## slyfox

Tired


----------



## Radekk

Just SAD.


----------



## Wren611

Rejected.


----------



## Monkeygirl

annoyed


----------



## TryingMara

My stomach feels a little sore, but otherwise I'm ok. The sunshine and how pretty it looks out has boosted my mood.


----------



## LostinReverie

fuzzy


----------



## KILOBRAVO

I feel fine ! yay !


----------



## Skeletra

Down. Really down.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy


----------



## Kevin001

Like sh*t. My stomach and head hurt.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

Tired and numb. I wish I could laugh at something.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

more or less fine , i had a decent day. hopefully later she can help me make it even better .


----------



## CWe

Not the best atm


----------



## kivi

Cold and a little bit anxious


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Depressed that I didn't continue with my education and now I'm probably gonna be stuck doing this kind of work forever and it's too late to change that. It also feels weird that most of my family is moving out of state. I feel kinda isolated and left behind.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

What is that feeling when you discover a show that is amazing and perfect, and then the next season throws away everything you loved about it and just turns into exactly like every other show on tv that you don't even feel like watching it any further.


----------



## naptime

I feel like I'm stuck in a rut and I can't move forward.. I've let so many things slip away.


----------



## mr hoang

My left leg is killing me right now. I dont even know what happened but its been hurting the last couple of days. 😣


----------



## Andras96

I feel trapped


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i am fine I had a reasonably decent day with something new tried


----------



## kivi

Sad


----------



## lisbeth

Like I need someone to pay attention to me because I am scum.


----------



## XRik7X

Ahh Im feeling so sad and apathetic f*** you depression


----------



## quesara

pathetic.


----------



## Myr




----------



## reaffected

Myr said:


>


I ****ing love that graphic. +1

You know that feeling where there is a silent scream inside you? I feel that.


----------



## PrincessV

Feeling like I don't know who I am. ._. How do I act? How do I do, How do I be? Fudge.


----------



## mr hoang

Worried about a friend who isnt texting me back. He has depression so I worry about his state of mind. I hope he didnt end it. This is unusual to not hear from him for this long.


----------



## SofaKing

Exhausted...you think you reach an age of wisdom to still find out you don't know jack about yourself or others.


----------



## saya2077

I feel like absolute ****. My best and only friend has been cold and distant from me all week with no explanation, they're perfectly fine with everyone else it's just me. I found out that he's cancelled meeting me and is going to visit someone else without even telling me. It broke my heart. I feel like he's just shoved me to the side to make way for these two new people he's become close to. I've tried talking to him and got nothing.


I also announced I was staying away from facebook and other forums for a while and literally nobody cared.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i am fine ! yay!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired/lazy/hermetic/reclusive


----------



## Sam1986

I am feeling quite happy today because I officially qualified as a lawyer today. But what I really want is a baby, this is consuming me right now.


----------



## XRik7X

I want to sleep foreverrr ahh


----------



## bad baby

nighttime is the worst ;(


----------



## TheWildeOne

Off. Just off. For a number of reasons I typed out and then promptly erased.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling down


----------



## naptime

Tired.. Physically and mentally.


----------



## i suck at life

horrible. sick of the troubles of this life


----------



## Cherrycarmine

I'm not really sure how I feel today.


----------



## Crisigv

still feeling down


----------



## KILOBRAVO

I am OK still


----------



## naptime

Right now I feel like I'm not needed and I'm useless. Throughout the day I felt I needed a should to cry on.


----------



## Montee

I feel like I don't give a **** about anything now.


----------



## tea111red

lonely
alone


----------



## naptime

I have a "why even bother" attitude right now and have no motivation to do anything. I have a feeling it's going to be a bad weekend for me.


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

Isolated.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

I feel fine..... yay I am waiting to hear back from someone by E-mail and I am wondering what might happen next ..


----------



## RubixQ

Low.


----------



## Genos

empty
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Nebulos

Anxious


----------



## mr hoang

Nervous. About to goto a wedding where I know nobody but my friend.


----------



## blue2

RadnessaurousRex said:


> Still pretty shitty and my eyes hurt from staring at my phone all day. Awesome.


What was on your phone and why stare at it all day, I went to some ancient bogland beside a lake and plundered natural resources to burn :/


----------



## gopherinferno




----------



## LostinReverie

Weak, broken, defeated


----------



## Cherrycarmine

I'm in a good mood right now.


----------



## tanveer19

I miss someone and it makes me very depressed. ?


----------



## Charmeleon




----------



## RubixQ

Too low for zero.


----------



## Surly Wurly

omg i feel like such a dipsh1t

its never gonna turn out right, it would just take too goddam long


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & hungry


----------



## tea111red

maybe lonely. definitely alone. i don't feel like there are people out there that are similar to me.


----------



## Methodical

I don't deserve to be alive.


----------



## naptime

Another day that I've let slip through my fingers..


----------



## DistraughtOwl

Sad and hungry.


----------



## tea111red

my life is like the movie "groundhog day."

i'm tired of living the same day over and over.

i want new stuff to happen.


----------



## TheWildeOne

Not good.

Not even remotely good.


----------



## tea111red

i need to be banned.


----------



## Surly Wurly

i feel like i had not enough sleep then had some apple juice


----------



## AussiePea

Aeiou said:


>


----------



## Charmeleon




----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty good I suppose


----------



## Goopus

Pretty discouraged. I messed up at work and cost my employer a good chunk of change based purely on my avoidable mistakes. I feel I should be fired even though it would be disastrous for me personally.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling pretty lonely right now.


----------



## tea111red

delusional, lol.


----------



## naptime

Angry at myself and sad.


----------



## theotherone

pissed i scarred my face with 3 scratches ...
so i'm hiding it under makeup actually, which isn't going so well

not upset, just feel like, everyone suxs as much as i compliment, maybe i should always stick to God, as i'll never ever ever find what i was looking for, deep down.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

less than impressed.


----------



## hmweasley

I'm actually feeling pretty good at this exact moment, especially in comparison to earlier today. This past week and a half has been incredibly stressful for me, and the school year just started. I'm already feeling like I don't know how I'm going to handle all of the work this year, so I've been in a near state of panic for a lot of the past few days.

But luckily relatively positive things keep happening too, and I just had one of those moments that's put me in a much better mood for the moment.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

In a Lonely Place said:


> my mind is racing, as it always will
> My hands tired, my heart aches


How weird, I was just listening to that song!

I feel broken.


----------



## Idontgetit

tea111red said:


> my life is like the movie "groundhog day."
> 
> i'm tired of living the same day over and over.
> 
> i want new stuff to happen.


the worst is when you wake up for a new day and have that 30 min euphoria of it being a new beginning then... reality sets in again and the darkness creeps up on u again.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

In a Lonely Place said:


> seriously?


Yes, I've been listening to R.E.M. for days again, lol.

Michael Stipe :love2


----------



## Navarone

Not good. School! Bleh.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TenYears

I'm missing my ex-girl friend the one that killed herself.


I can't stop crying for some reason. I miss her soo, soooo much. I just wish I could touch her again.


It's just too much man.


I can't stop cryingy.


I just wish there was tsomething else I could have done. I miss her so, so, so, so much.


----------



## Kevin001

TenYears said:


> I just wish there was something else I could have done. I miss her so, so, so, so much.


:hug


----------



## TenYears

I miss her so much. If you could have seen how beautiful she was inside and out, man. I miss her so, so, so much. I just wish she was still with me.


----------



## mr hoang

TenYears said:


> I miss her so much. If you could have seen how beautiful she was inside and out, man. I miss her so, so, so much. I just wish she was still with me.


I feel bad for you man &#128546;. Cant even imagine what you're going through but I hope you get through it.


----------



## tea111red

Idontgetit said:


> the worst is when you wake up for a new day and have that 30 min euphoria of it being a new beginning then... reality sets in again and the darkness creeps up on u again.


yeah, that's definitely a good description of how things go.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i FEEL quite good : had a decent day and last night was nice


----------



## Orbiter

Neutral with a slight tendency to the negative (a few years ago I heard somebody saying that).


----------



## Andras96

Kinda better. I kinda forced myself to start a random conversation with someone in class. I just wish I had more to say. Jeez, I'm boring...


----------



## slyfox

Awful. Was too hot to mow the lawn, but I couldn't do it later tonight when it would cool down. Have a doctor appointment tomorrow and didn't really want to have a ton of back pain during it.


----------



## quesara

Andras96 said:


> Kinda better. I kinda forced myself to start a random conversation with someone in class. I just wish I had more to say. Jeez, I'm boring...


Whaaaat? Andreas, that's awesome! Congratulations! Don't worry about being boring. You're not.


----------



## tea111red

so bored
like i want to disappear


----------



## Andras96

quesara said:


> Whaaaat? Andreas, that's awesome! Congratulations! Don't worry about being boring. You're not.


Thanks. I just don't know how to keep a conversation going for the life of me.


----------



## tea111red

empty
worthless
unwanted
alone
weak
broken
like i want to vanish


----------



## LostinReverie

Stupid.


----------



## probably offline

How the **** am I going to do all of this in one day? Crap :lol


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Sad, anxious, angry, hurt, envious, defective, alien, different, broken, worried.

And just generally like ****.


----------



## quesara

Crestfallen, but I'm not giving up.


----------



## tea111red

I'm really on edge in anticipation of something rocking my world upside down (AGAIN!) and then having to have a meltdown because I can't cope well w/ the changes.


----------



## quesara

I feel like bailing on this event tonight. Why do I agree to anything anymore? In the end, I always want to flake out.


----------



## Mousey9

i don't care


----------



## lxced

im feeling great, juat took lorpamza which took the edge off of the attacks that [sent me to the hoapital yeasterday] otherwise im just listening to music in beddd


----------



## naptime

I'm feeling ok right now.


----------



## Vuldoc

I feel like I'm losing myself.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel better tonight than I usually do at nights. I guess because i've kept busy.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i am tired because i didn't sleep very well the past two nights : hope I can sleep better tonight and catch up on that missed sleep


----------



## Slippin Jimmy

Empty, lonely, depressed, defeated, insane, abnormal, isolated, tired, horrendous, neglected, scared... in other words, not great.


----------



## Vuldoc

I feel like an opiate addict that is completely unable to cut the habit.


----------



## tea111red

anxious


----------



## SENNA

Craving coffee but not milk


----------



## LostinReverie

Spacey


----------



## Kevin001

Confused......I can't remember what happened last night. I hate not remembering.


----------



## uziq

had a dream about a girl I used to have a major crush but totally ruined any chance of a relationship. she's half way across the country now, but the dream is making me feel pretty bad this morning about how I've done practically nothing with my life in the past 2 years, and if I were to see her again, I'd pretty much have nothing interesting to say or tell her about my life.

on the other hand, it's somewhat motivational. makes me want to go out and actually do things.


----------



## shelbster18

Aggravated that my sis wants to quit working at MacDonald's just because she gets seventy nine hours every two weeks and she wants eighty so I'm trying to knock some sense into her head
. Most people probably don't get that many hours for minimum wage. I would be happy with that much. I care about her so she better not make a dumb decision. >_<
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tea111red

frustrated
worried
not relaxed
not reassurred


----------



## HenDoggy

i feel like puking


----------



## naptime

I'm feeling alright.


----------



## Charmander

Annoyed after dealing with a really power-hungry admin (not on here).


----------



## desartamiu

I am dreading returning to hell.


----------



## meandernorth

Okay but tired.


----------



## My Hearse

Aghast.


----------



## 7th.Streeter

Bored.


----------



## Seegan

Amused


----------



## Winds




----------



## ineverwipe

Tired and angry


----------



## ShatteredGlass

this doesn't apply now but on friday my crush held a door open for me and i felt electric as/f lol


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty good


----------



## slowlyimproving

Slept 8 hours and had a wonderful dream. I feel good.


----------



## kivi

Sad, my chest aches.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

Let myself down.


----------



## Crisigv

Headache
Tired
Bored


----------



## Monkeygirl

okay


----------



## thomasjune

I feel good because I have the day off tomorrow.
It sucks that Tuesday is right around the corner though :/
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Strategist

Want to do stuff but I don't want to do stuff.


----------



## TenYears

Worried.

My ex-wife just took my youngest daughter to the ER, for the second time today, for stomach pains. I can't get a call back. The news channel I watch always has a list of things that are going around for school age kids, and stomach viruses are one of them right now, so I hope that's "all" it is. She's not running a fever and it doesn't hurt where her appendix is, I checked with my ex (I doubt she even knew what to check for), so it's not that.

Also my oldest daughter just called me and vented to me for a while. She said sometimes I'm the only one she feels like she can talk to. Not to be mean or anything, but my ex-wife can be a *****....she's hard on the kids a lot of the time.

One of the very, very few advantages to being a non-custodial parent with virtually no rights at all, is that I get to play "good cop". My kids hardly ever, ever get in trouble with me, ever. Partly because they know better, but also partly because they know I'm a lot more fun than their mom a lot of the time, and they look forward to the time we have together probably almost as much as I do, so they'd just rather have fun while they can as opposed to getting in trouble and wasting our time in timeout.

She's just really stressed right now (my oldest). She's also 14, and that doesn't help things, at all. I just worry, all the time. I hope they're both OK.


----------



## TenYears

Here's a little glimpse into the world that I have to deal with....the sociopath that is my ex-wife, the woman that is (not really) raising my children.

For those that don't know, I have an ex-gf that committed suicide three years ago, and my ex-wife, out of jealousy and in her psychosis, refers to my late ex-gf as the "little w****".

This is a text she sent me earlier today, verbatim:

"As far as the w**** and her kids go...**** them, I'm glad the little ***** is dead". That's the first line of the text. It really wouldn't make any sense to try to type out the rest of it, as it's so laced with four-letter words that it wouldn't make any sense.

This is the stuff I have to deal with man.


----------



## Powerles

Thank you so much!! That was too cute!

I've had a rough week and glad I found this website to express my feelings. A week ago yesterday someone passed away, unexpectedly to me though I suppose it was his time. The book, "your Eronneous Zones" was the beginning of my spiritual journey and it was my mother who bought it. All I needed to do was look at the chapter names and a couple sentences in each and I was aware of a new path that could be taken in my life. So, I was really sad when I found this out that he had passed in his sleep. It made me realize, once again how short life is and my mother hasn't been a part of the rest of the families life for the past three years. I reached out to her only to have her reply back to me that she didn't want to see me. I'll cut this short, but I will say that I'm pretty sad. Very sad and it feels like a loss and I suppose I'm grieving.
So, thanks for the hug.
When my life is painful, I wish I was better at reaching out and talking about my feelings.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@TenYears That's messed up! I've watched my brother deal with a crazy ex-wife for the past few years, it really sucks, especially with kids involved. I wish you the best. :squeeze


----------



## TenYears

SamanthaStrange said:


> @*TenYears* That's messed up! I've watched my brother deal with a crazy ex-wife for the past few years, it really sucks, especially with kids involved. I wish you the best. :squeeze


Thank you. Yeah, is pretty messed up. She's never going to change. A part of me can't wait until my kids turn 18 so I can have a relationship with them and leave her completely out of the picture.


----------



## reaffected

Heartbroken and thrown away like garbage.


----------



## Vuldoc

haunted by something


----------



## mr hoang

Tired and my back hurts. Hope I get the day off today, its labour day.


----------



## Slippin Jimmy

not great... oh wait I'm fine... I feel like ****... oh it was just nothing... I don't want to live... life isn't that bad I guess... I'm so angry... wtf was I upset about?...


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Not great


----------



## Methodical

I'm not going to bother with people that don't want to talk to me. I'm not going to waste any of my time (besides this post) thinking about it.


----------



## vanishingpt

Pretty excited and relieved. Turns out I actually don't have class tomorrow, so I kind of get an "extra day off". Still heading to campus however to set up my space, meet up with some friends, work out, etc. Low pressure day tomorrow.

Going to hit the ground running for this semester though. I am glad to be surrounded by so many ambitious and inspiring people, and it's also intimidating in its own right, but I think everyone brings something different to the table. Can't wait to see how this year's going to play out.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty good again ! yay!


----------



## kivi

Bad


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling productive. Got some important stuff done today.


----------



## Vuldoc

bored and frustrated


----------



## tea111red

misanthropic


----------



## tea111red

still pretty damn bored, too. posting on here didn't help.


----------



## Andras96

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what I'm feeling or what I want out of life, it just doesn't matter. My feelings, emotions... they're never recognized by anyone. I'm just wasting my energy.


----------



## LostinReverie

Annoyed about people posting to old threads and threads that are almost exactly the same posted within the same week.


----------



## mr hoang

Andras96 said:


> It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what I'm feeling or what I want out of life, it just doesn't matter. My feelings, emotions... they're never recognized by anyone. I'm just wasting my energy.


It does matter. You matter. It may not feel like it because you don't feel appreciated by the people around you. I know the feeling. There are people who appreciate you ☺ like people on this forum.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Tired.


----------



## tea111red

Disoriented.


----------



## tea111red

upset
anxious
panicky

i feel like withdrawing from the world even more.


----------



## Batcat

I feel isolated, like I'm not part of anything. This is the only online forum I post on these days and I hardly interact with anyone anyway. I could post about how s*** my life is (I sort of am right now) but it's always the same responses, what's the point in wasting other people's time.


----------



## LostinReverie

Really ****ty. Headache won't go away.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted & anti-social


----------



## bad baby

i'm just going to put some heavy metal on and go to sleep. lol =.=


----------



## Vuldoc

melancholic


----------



## Crisigv

Alright today, but my ear still hurts.


----------



## Surly Wurly

God dammit i can't sleep. Think ill just get up and make eggs x /


----------



## Crisigv

lonely


----------



## mr hoang

Annoyed. Lazy *** brother wont get up to go to work. The older brother. Like **** always doing stuff on his schedule. Grow the **** up.


----------



## TenYears

Numb. Except for, just....sad.


I'm prepared for what I have to deal with tomorrow. I'm prepared to see you face to face. I won't cause a scene in front of my kids but let's not go there, my brother. Lets not go there, because I am ready to do what I have to do. You do not treat MY kids like they deserve to be treated. You are a sorry, half-way piece of crap that sits on my ex-wife's couch and collects disability payments, when you are more than qualified, more than able to get off your *** and get a job and go to work. You drive my ex-father-in-law's truck. Lol. To....where??? You don't go to work.


If I find out (and I'm going to probably find out today) that you even touched one of MY children inappropriately, if you touched one hair on their heads we're gonna have a little talk.


Mthrfqr.


I'm ready to drop everything in my life right now. Because, this is one thing you will never understand.


While you're resting your fat *** on my ex-wife's couch busy all day...idk....scratching your nuts....I'm worried about you. Because...guess what? I care about my kids. I love my kids. I go out of my way every day, I sacrifice everything for my kids. My kids are my whole world.


If you and I need to go round and round, I'm ready.


I'm ready.


----------



## probably offline

- massive head ache
- stress lvl ????
- stomach ache
- poverty sucks

+ I haven't given up
+ @indiscipline exists


----------



## KILOBRAVO

HMM Pretty decent


----------



## indiscipline

Full (which means drunk in Swedish but I'm not even tipsy). I love sushi. My wallet doesn't agree with me but I'm not afraid of him.



probably offline said:


> - massive head ache
> - stress lvl ????
> - stomach ache
> - poverty sucks
> 
> + I haven't given up
> + @indiscipline exists


Softie <3


----------



## Surly Wurly

i had dinner at about 430 today. if i could, i would have it all over again


----------



## Canadian Brotha

probably offline said:


> - massive head ache
> - stress lvl ????
> - poverty sucks


^^^Like that


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Good and stoned


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty good  yay


----------



## quesara

Nervous about my tattoo appointment in a couple of hours, but also excited to finish the color and shading :boogie


----------



## Flora20

Feeling okay better than yesterday, thankfully but still feel really down -.- can't really help it..


----------



## tea111red

pathetic.


----------



## FEBS

Feeling a little better but tired like crazy....time to sleep.


----------



## tom99

headache
ear ringing
tired


:frown2:


----------



## TenYears

Let's see where this goes from here.


Time will tell.


----------



## tea111red

anxious


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling pretty good. Right now I am playing RIFT, I am progressing along nicely. Things at work are going along pretty well, I have a roof over my head, I've got food to eat, beer to drink 

There is not too much to complain about, I'm sure I could find some things, but why ruin the mood, you know?


----------



## tea111red

like chopped liver.


----------



## Depo

Jealous and lonely. My ex-bf is in my city for a few days, he wanted to see me, but he couldn't do me a simple favor and bring some of the stuff (small things) I forgot at his house. So I turned him down. He's probably having fun with his transgender friend, I'll call him "she" because she calls herself transgender. 

She's outgoing, has a normal job, her own house and pretends I don't exist (she's a totally different person than the one I met 2 years ago.) So I told her we couldn't be friends, because as a friend I expected her to do me a small favor (I hadn't asked her to do anything for me this year.) and she couldn't even do that, after all the freaking things I did for him (he was a he when I used to live with him, when he used to grow a beard and act like a freaking man.) 

And I broke up with her because she lied to me. She swore to me multiple times he never ever wanted to become a woman (we talked about that issue whenever she said one of her male friends had become a woman.)

Besides she said she had a surprise for me and that kinda freaked me out. I guess she wanted me to see her as a girl (I've never seen her dressed as a woman.) because he was talking about bringing some of her girl stuff while she was visiting my city. And that would've been so awkward. That's also one of the reasons I turned her down.

I wish I had someone to hang out with, but that is not possible. And I wish I was the one in a better position. I hate her. I'm always the one on the losing side. I'm always the one that ends up alone and like a total loser, while everybody else gets what they want. *sigh* :frown2:


----------



## Andras96

Optimistic, but it won't last. I know as soon as I go back to class, my mood will switch right back. I can't keep doing this.


----------



## tea111red

annoyed

wtf

WTF


----------



## TryingMara

Not great, pathetic, dejected, etc.


----------



## SofaKing

Relieved... For my professional paramedic license, I had to pass a national practical skills test. Today was a retest for one of the stations I failed before...and if I failed this time, I would have had to take the whole exam over again. I was basically having a panic attack in the test room, but the examiner was really cool about my anxiety and really talked me off the ledge at times...he didn't have to...he didn't give me the answers, but he did help keep me as calm as possible.

I passed this part...now just a bunch of written testing to go before I get my license.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

KyleInSTL said:


> Relieved... For my professional paramedic license, I had to pass a national practical skills test. Today was a retest for one of the stations I failed before...and if I failed this time, I would have had to take the whole exam over again. I was basically having a panic attack in the test room, but the examiner was really cool about my anxiety and really talked me off the ledge at times...he didn't have to...he didn't give me the answers, but he did help keep me as calm as possible.
> 
> I passed this part...now just a bunch of written testing to go before I get my license.


Kyle that's wonderful! Congratulations.


----------



## SofaKing

Wings of Amnesty said:


> Kyle that's wonderful! Congratulations.


Thanks, man...SA plus an overwhelming fear of failure really makes these kinds of situations unbearable.

I'm just glad that part is over. With the written, it's just me versus a computer...that I can deal with. And I won't tell my peers when I'm taking the test so I don't have to deal with the shame of failing it, either.


----------



## tea111red

i'm annoyed.

some ******* is cutting down trees and is keeping me up. i've already been sleep deprived for awhile.

why the hell do people choose to have gardeners come so damn early in the morning, esp. on the weekend

this is another reason why i wish i could live away from neighbors!!!!

i'm tired of noise. i want peace and quiet.


----------



## LostinReverie

tea111red said:


> i'm annoyed.
> 
> some ******* is cutting down trees and is keeping me up. i've already been sleep deprived for awhile.
> 
> why the hell do people choose to have gardeners come so damn early in the morning, esp. on the weekend
> 
> this is another reason why i wish i could live away from neighbors!!!!
> 
> i'm tired of noise. i want peace and quiet.


I support this sentiment. Why do chainsaws have to be so ****ing loud?


----------



## tea111red

^yep.

---
i'm getting very anxious.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

WELL i feel OK but for some reason this was one of those days where i have felt tired for no real reason today


----------



## KILOBRAVO

KyleInSTL said:


> Relieved... For my professional paramedic license, I had to pass a national practical skills test. Today was a retest for one of the stations I failed before...and if I failed this time, I would have had to take the whole exam over again. I was basically having a panic attack in the test room, but the examiner was really cool about my anxiety and really talked me off the ledge at times...he didn't have to...he didn't give me the answers, but he did help keep me as calm as possible.
> 
> I passed this part...now just a bunch of written testing to go before I get my license.


yay! this is great you faced it and then passed it 

surely tho as a paramedic you must be facing much scarier things than a test tho?

its amazing what people can do to push themselves through anxiety cause I know you felt awfull at the time but you didnt give up !


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy/restless


----------



## betamaou

Empty with a constant sinking feeling in my chest.


----------



## mrazme

Better than I was earlier. But can't fall asleep


----------



## Bad

Bad


----------



## Crisigv

I feel kind of weird right now.


----------



## Depo

Bored. I wish my bunny could talk to me. *sigh*


----------



## tom99

ok now but wont last long


----------



## Flora20

Kinda stressed out with two exams tomorrow -.-


----------



## Kevin001

In pain but a good type of pain :wink2:.


----------



## tea111red

misanthropic, again.


----------



## LostinReverie

KyleInSTL said:


> Relieved... For my professional paramedic license, I had to pass a national practical skills test. Today was a retest for one of the stations I failed before...and if I failed this time, I would have had to take the whole exam over again. I was basically having a panic attack in the test room, but the examiner was really cool about my anxiety and really talked me off the ledge at times...he didn't have to...he didn't give me the answers, but he did help keep me as calm as possible.
> 
> I passed this part...now just a bunch of written testing to go before I get my license.


:banana


----------



## FWMY

Hungry


----------



## Andras96

Irritated, why did my parents even bother to have me...


----------



## Lostintheshuffle

Unmotivated to go to school later today. I hate sitting in assigned seats and I dont really like my classmates.


----------



## LostinReverie

Jittery anxious


----------



## KILOBRAVO

fine today was a decent day night time is OK too LOL she she keeps me up all night LOL


----------



## Kevin001

Anxious....worrying about my appointments I have the next 3 days.


----------



## SofaKing

Nervous...I just declined to interview for a full time night position at my ambulance company in favor of waiting for a day time position to open up. This, is a risk.

I'm not very patient and I hate passing up opportunities...and since the universe seems to be against me most times, I'm scared that a full time spot won't be available and will be missing out...again.


----------



## Andras96

i'm just sick of never feeling good enough for anyone


----------



## Lynxrunner

Crappy that I have to be reliant on medication to be functional.


----------



## rdrr

Not good


----------



## probably offline

Like a smitten kitten


----------



## Surly Wurly

triumphant. have come so far. today i snatch back a huge chunk of life from the jaws of butthurt, apply the 5 second rule, and _feast_


----------



## quesara

Wish I could crawl through my computer screen and give the person on the other end a hug. But not all creepy like


----------



## Andras96

Just another casual wave of negative, reaffirming thoughts... am I really that unapproachable of a person? Even to just say hello to? I'm sorry, I can't stop thinking about this. I think about this day in and day out. It just makes me feel isolated.


----------



## kageri

I think my caffeine just wore off.


----------



## Robleye

Crummy


----------



## Lucid Dreams

bored, lonely


----------



## indiscipline

A bit lightheaded. I'm a blonde, so~


----------



## LostinReverie

Super depressed.


----------



## Kevin001

Frustrated.........All these counselors are telling me you have to want to get better......what if I don't have that want? I'm just so ready to call it quits.


----------



## BefuddledBeyondDiscern

Actually, not bad. I woke up pretty good this morning. Had a nice, cool oscillating fan chill me down while my fluffy blanket made this great heat/cool mixture, very relaxing. Made me not want to get up.


----------



## tea111red

Withdrawn and frustrated, I guess. I just want to go into complete isolation, but I can't because I have to work and force myself to interact w/ people to make an income (there would be too many consequences of not having a job right now). Having conversations w/ others is just too draining to me right now and I'm tired of forcing facial expressions.

It's becoming harder and harder to cope w/ this, esp. when the quality and amount of sleep I've been getting has been more lousier than usual.

Now some stupid barking dog is irritating me.

I need serenity (now that Godsmack song will be stuck in my head, lol).


----------



## NahMean

tea111red said:


> Withdrawn and frustrated, I guess. I just want to go into complete isolation, but I can't because I have to work and force myself to interact w/ people to make an income (there would be too many consequences of not having a job right now). Having conversations w/ others is just too draining to me right now and I'm tired of forcing facial expressions.
> 
> It's becoming harder and harder to cope w/ this, esp. when the quality and amount of sleep I've been getting has been more lousier than usual.
> 
> Now some stupid barking dog is irritating me.
> 
> I need serenity (now that Godsmack song will be stuck in my head, lol).


Funny I been sleeping like crap lately too, and I also been struggling with a neighbor's dog who should probably have its vocal cord ripped out! I certainly can relate with forced social interactions that you want no part of. Well I hope some good fortune comes your way sooner than later.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

im feeling allright


----------



## tea111red

NahMean said:


> Funny I been sleeping like crap lately too, and I also been struggling with a neighbor's dog who should probably have its vocal cord ripped out! I certainly can relate with forced social interactions that you want no part of. Well I hope some good fortune comes your way sooner than later.


That sucks. 

And thanks! I hope you get some relief, too.  Stress is a killer!


----------



## tea111red

well, now things are getting so bad for me i am starting to skip work. i feel so trapped in my situation.


----------



## darkangelrebekah7

Stronger everyday day booooy!!


----------



## naptime

Tired.. Just tired.


----------



## Excaliber

Strange in a way I can't describe.... I feel I should be normal, but at the same time because of my panic attack I had this afternoon I still have this lingering light airy feeling to me.


----------



## MCHB

chill; optimistic.


----------



## tea111red

really embarrassed.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel a little tired but otherwise fine


----------



## Andras96

Still withdrawn, still wishing I could interact with more people.


----------



## Flora20

I feel so stressed, depressed and just empty..


----------



## Emilia101

Numb and empty


----------



## Orbiter

A bit like I have some kind of "overload" inside me.
Gonna have to take a peepee.


----------



## Lostlily

Can't sleep and my husband is snorring his *** of
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SofaKing

Hopeful and terrified at the same time. I got through another one of my mandatory exams today towards obtaining my paramedic license...so an end is in sight. However, the universe tends to like to balance out my successes with strife...so I'm pretty much anticipating a major medical problem upon completion of my license.


----------



## Kevin001

Awful, my night has been bad. Hopefully I can get a release later.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like killing myself would be so much better than living as a loser.


----------



## Andras96

Even on here I feel like a freakin' mistake. Even on here I feel like an outcast. The only place where I can say what's on my mind and I'm STILL out of place. I don't know why I haven't given up by now, nothing ****ing changes.


----------



## tea111red

i'm looking for something to be hopeful about and not finding anything.


----------



## tea111red

some things are out of my control and it makes me anxious.


----------



## Lostlily

Sooo tired and hopeful
I ordered a negative scanner for my camera negatives and it should come in today 
I want to try it


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel Ok once i've done my exercises i will feel better I feel tired today


----------



## Lostlily

scanner was a big disapointment.
it did work 
but the pictures looked like crap
now im really really sad


----------



## Andras96

Alone


----------



## LostinReverie

Disgusting.


----------



## tea111red

pissed off.


----------



## tea111red

things are depressing.


----------



## Kevin001

Lost.......don't know where to go from here.


----------



## Depo

Disappointed in myself. Everyone at my age has something to brag about: marriage, a good job, childen, friends, etc. I just want to hide my head in the ground. At my age my parents were already married and had their own home. It feels like life is passing me by, and that makes me feel angry and sad. :?


----------



## probably offline




----------



## Wings of Amnesty

Depo said:


> Disappointed in myself. Everyone at my age has something to brag about: marriage, a good job, childen, friends, etc. I just want to hide my head in the ground. At my age my parents were already married and had their own home. It feels like life is passing me by, and that makes me feel angry and sad. :?


Such a sad looking cat saying such sad things hahaha. I feel you. At my age my parents had me already. Not that I want kids, but I feel like I should be at a point where I have goals and am obtaining them by now. Instead I stay home, don't meet anyone, don't date, don't move out or look for places. Time isn't going to stop and I'm wasting it.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I had a pretty good day far away from this awful place, but now I'm back home again so came back momentarily and now quickly leaving again for a while.

And I found giant pocky, I had no idea such a thing existed. I was going to make a jokey thread about it, cause I made one about pocky ages ago and was going to entitle it '[insert old thread name here] v.2' but then realised it would get deleted for spam. So I won't do that.


----------



## tea111red

ugly


----------



## Charmeleon

Today I am a lazy llama


----------



## tea111red

i need to get away/escape badly.


----------



## Andras96

I just feel like people want me to disappear


----------



## anitrauer1995

I have been feeling pretty decent lately since I have taken back control of my life.

Right now I am feeling a bit confused by this whole 'forum' thing and unsure of how this is supposed to help my anxiety. Considering there is an amalgam of people on this site, I am not certain whether my personality and current situation is suitable for discussion here without the possibility of offending someone. 

Other than that, I am looking forward to good things to come.

Much chi to other members here xoxo


----------



## SofaKing

Frustrated that there are so many other things I really should be doing right now, but I'm not...and just here.

Tick-tock, Clarice.


----------



## Plasma

Dreading school tomorrow. Oh well, just playing my guitar right now.


----------



## tea111red

withdrawn.

i want to go into isolation (or more into it anyway) where i'm safe from people.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel pretty allright today


----------



## Cyclonic

I'm in a very humorous mood today for whatever reason


----------



## LostinReverie

really annoyed


----------



## Andras96

I finally get it... I think I finally understand. People... The world just wants me to go away, to leave people alone and know my place. Well fine. You win. I give up. Goodnight everyone.


----------



## tea111red

hurt


----------



## shelbster18

Pissed off. Someone telling me to claim I'm rich and not poor when they're going to college to be an accountant. This world has obliterated into a dark hole of hell. I'm trying to calm down.


----------



## Abbeh

I'm feeling decent tonight for the first time in a while. I have been so severely depressed and stress with school and looking for a job. Tonight I just relax...


----------



## Surly Wurly

i just feel so free and easy this morning. mind is clear, and i feel really positive. some of the usual aches and pains but i dont feel too bent out of shape. i'd normally have to be on holiday to feel anywhere near this. so yeah. NICE


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Happy, mainly because today's my birthday.


----------



## Kevin001

Ashamed.....I did something I shouldn't have done.


----------



## 7th.Streeter

Hopeless abt school, so many financial issues, i have to hwk on my phone sometimes, i have 6 credits and im 24... im losing hope for the future.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious
Sad
Stupid
Worthless
Disposable


----------



## Kevin001

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious
> Sad
> Stupid
> Worthless
> Disposable


:hug


----------



## tea111red

I've been pretty stressed and sleep deprived lately. So much that I think it's been giving me migraines. I saw blue and green flashing lights last night and felt like I was going to pass out from the pain in my head/eyes/neck. I hate to take pain meds, but I think that's when I knew I had to do it. Having vision problems and possibly passing out is scary.


----------



## shelbster18

Ecstatic. Got a camper for $75 and it's got a decent sized bed with a shower and a sink. The only thing that's really wrong with it is the door.


----------



## akari

So small, but trying to lift myself up. I have prepared a lot yet something tells me my mind will go completely blank the moment I step into the room for the interview. But I'm not going to run away.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## RubixQ

akari said:


> So small, but trying to lift myself up. I have prepared a lot yet something tells me my mind will go completely blank the moment I step into the room for the interview. But I'm not going to run away.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Good luck


----------



## PlayerOffGames

good


----------



## quesara

Jilted. I was supposed to have lunch with an acquaintance and trekked all the way up to the hospital to meet her, only to discover upon arrival a text from her cancelling on me because her boyfriend surprised her with lunch. So I ended up buying a sad little ham sandwich and was planning on taking it back down to my office to eat, but they didn't wrap it. I couldn't bring myself to ask to have it wrapped up, so I ate alone at a table in a busy corridor at the hospital (exposure, right?) Woe is me.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

Hopeless, lonely, and disgusted with what I'm considering.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

weird like always


----------



## Depo

A little better. My mom lend me 5 dollars so I could buy some hair pills. And that's fine because I can't stop them after taking them for 5 months. I care a lot about my hair. But my special hair spray is more expensive and it's going to last one month if I don't buy another one, so I don't know how I'm going to buy it. I'll probably sell some of my things on ebay. My father also agreed to buy me new generic clonazepam pills which are not very expensive at my local drug store (less than 10 bucks for 30 pills of 2 mg.) I'm back on clonazepam and it feels so much much better. 

Though I'm still sad because he's going to control my clonazepam intake and I need 2 2mg pills every day and he'll probably just give me one pill every day. I still have 3 pills in my personal stash and I want to take one more (I've already taken one today.) It makes me angry I need more of those pills in order not to give a s*** about my current crappy situation. 

They also went to the grocery store and bought one bottle of colombian rum. Cuban, colombian, whatever, I don't know the difference. But now that I'm alone I'm tempted to drink at least half the bottle while they're away. I know benzos and alcohol don't mix, and I would be selfish if I drank all of it because the bottle isn't mine. 

I can't believe how much my life changed. One year ago I lived thousand of miles away, had a job, could afford all the bottles of wine and pills I wanted and nobody said a word about it. Now I'm poor, jobless, everyone gets angry if I take my pills and even taking a little rum from someone else's bottle worries me a lot. I can't afford anything at all and getting a job is impossible. At this point I just want to disappear or drink myself to sleep. Life is a *****. I'm not asking for a bf or a job, I just want my goddamn pills.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

Depo said:


> A little better. My mom lend me 5 dollars so I could buy some hair pills. And that's fine because I can't stop them after taking them for 5 months. I care a lot about my hair. But my special hair spray is more expensive and it's going to last one month if I don't buy another one, so I don't know how I'm going to buy it. I'll probably sell some of my things on ebay. My father also agreed to buy me new generic clonazepam pills which are not very expensive at my local drug store (less than 10 bucks for 30 pills of 2 mg.) I'm back on clonazepam and it feels so much much better.
> 
> Though I'm still sad because he's going to control my clonazepam intake and I need 2 2mg pills every day and he'll probably just give me one pill every day. I still have 3 pills in my personal stash and I want to take one more (I've already taken one today.) It makes me angry I need more of those pills in order not to give a s*** about my current crappy situation.
> 
> They also went to the grocery store and bought one bottle of colombian rum. Cuban, colombian, whatever, I don't know the difference. But now that I'm alone I'm tempted to drink at least half the bottle while they're away. I know benzos and alcohol don't mix, and I would be selfish if I drank all of it because the bottle isn't mine.
> 
> I can't believe how much my life changed. One year ago I lived thousand of miles away, had a job, could afford all the bottles of wine and pills I wanted and nobody said a word about it. Now I'm poor, jobless, everyone gets angry if I take my pills and even taking a little rum from someone else's bottle worries me a lot. I can't afford anything at all and getting a job is impossible. At this point I just want to disappear or drink myself to sleep. Life is a *****. I'm not asking for a bf or a job, I just want my goddamn pills.


Hey, real sorry this is happening, what caused such a backslide? Is this because of the fatty live disease and alcohol problems you mentioned?


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

I feel so exhausted and apathetic today, and there's no reason for that at all.


----------



## SofaKing

Wings of Amnesty said:


> I feel so exhausted and apathetic today, and there's no reason for that at all.


Yeah...what gives? I had a bout of that today too. I went to the gym, which is good I guess. I went to the grocery store and was on my way back and just had this overwhelming heaviness that said "What's the point? I'm never going to have the kind of life I keep thinking about."

Ick...hang in there, man...I'm doing the same.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

Threads like that one make me feel so alien. I just can't understand why people act that way, I mean I get the impulse to post it, but how can you not feel bad about yourself for saying things like that about people? But everyone is doing it, I'm the weird one. Of course I wont post in it and ruin everyone's fun, even though it disgusts me, I'll just watch it keep getting bumped and dying a little inside.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel pretty decent


----------



## Chasingclouds

Right now I feel sick to my stomach from tapering off of paxil... or maybe that was the 14 jalapeno peppers I got yesterday from the store. I really need to stay away from fried foods, they just aren't healthy for you. :/


----------



## scintilla

Terrible. Sick and anxious. I just want to feel normal again.


----------



## kivi

Nervous and anxious


----------



## PlayerOffGames

calm and a little bored


----------



## tea111red

Eh.

Dreading stuff. I just want to stay inside all day, away from everyone. I'd like to just take some stuff to help myself go back to sleep, too.

I've only been up for an hr, lol.


----------



## tea111red

I'm BORED.


----------



## Kevin001

Not so great. Hopeless and depressed like usual, I think I should try to get some sleep.


----------



## lonerroom

Sad and feel unwanted....


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mostly pretty good  I am happy with things today


----------



## lisbeth

Amaaaaaazing.


----------



## Surly Wurly

so someone finally made me breakfast, its been years, and its rubbish


wtf is even in this tea? why does it taste like antiseptic? am i going to die from some kind of undercooked waffle illness?

i wanted to like this so much :,,,,,,,,,/


----------



## IveGotToast




----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel pretty allright  i feel a bit lazy but that will go away once I do the excersising later


----------



## Telliblah

Nauseous. I always do. It's probably something terminal.


----------



## Blue2015

Alone, lost, frustrated, envious, and disgusting.


----------



## Depo

Fine, ever since I started taking clonazepam (again) one week ago, my sleep schedule is back on track and I slept like a baby last night. It's such a relief. But I had a weird dream where I spoke to a child, and he was a hallucination because no one else could see him except me. But he wouldn't leave me alone. It reminded me of the movie a brilliant mind and I started thinking I was schizophrenic. It was scary **** lol.


----------



## Barakiel

I haven't really felt consistent at all lately, so I guess my mood's been up and down, but that's still a lot better than being anxious or depressed constantly. :um


----------



## LostinReverie

tired


----------



## reaffected

_almost _loved, _almost _appreciated. It's enough to get by.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

In need of a full body stretch


----------



## Surly Wurly

i just wish i could hold on to this feeling forever, im listening to liberian girl with my feet in front of the radiator


----------



## intheshadows

:drunk


----------



## Kevin001

Kinda bad, I think I might of upset someone here. It was so not my intention, I'm so bad with words.


----------



## shelbster18

Annoyed. Going to raise hell at this place because they gave me false information telling me to go to some other building to tell them I need help looking for a job. The other woman told me they don't do that. So I'm going to get her fired if I can.


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

I hate the idea of being 40 for various reasons, but it is getting closer


----------



## KILOBRAVO

Surly Wurly said:


> so someone finally made me breakfast, its been years, and its rubbish
> 
> wtf is even in this tea? why does it taste like antiseptic? am i going to die from some kind of undercooked waffle illness?
> 
> i wanted to like this so much :,,,,,,,,,/


let this be a lesson to you that if you want somethign done right do it yourself !! 

as for me i feel pretty good again it was a good day


----------



## RaspberrySpider

Feeling sad :'/


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling tired and there's a small headache coming on.


----------



## Amorphousanomaly

Fabulous, other than these weird heart palpitations.


----------



## tea111red

SA.


----------



## Excaliber

I feel like I'm floating/ light inside - in a bad way - I've got so many thought's running through my head that I don't know what to think or decide


----------



## LostinReverie

deep deep pain


----------



## tea111red

blah. nothing to look forward to. nothing to even live for.


----------



## Depo

Worried, my 4mg daily dose of clonazepam is giving me trouble. This morning I got up and started stumbling around like a drunk person. I'm lucky no one in my house noticed it. I guess I'll have to halve my second dose.


----------



## Andras96

I can't do this. I can't find the strength to even keep up with my class work. I failed. I failed and that's all there is to it. I failed to make any close friendship all throughout school, I failed to even stay in basic classes throughout high school and ran to online classes, and I'm failing now. My mind is too preoccupied with these thoughts racing around all day to overcome anything and that's why I have ****ing failed. 

All I'm ever good for is giving up.


----------



## Charmeleon

I feel like.. a bloated bean and cheese burrito


----------



## Robot the Human

Bad day and badly enough for a headache. It sucks when you can't depend on anyone for the simplest of things. Having to do everything wears me out, to the point of not being able to improve as much as I'd like to. I'm feeling like a modern day Cinderella.


----------



## Surly Wurly

KILOBRAVO said:


> let this be a lesson to you that if you want somethign done right do it yourself !!
> 
> as for me i feel pretty good again it was a good day


come on man i wanted some TLC, i got some and it was rubbish x /

if i ever get a woman she better be able to make decent breakfast, cos i sure as hell can


----------



## Kevin001

Not to good. I'm so depressed and anxious at the same time. Everything is just becoming too much. I try to isolate myself but still feel awful.


----------



## tea111red

Weird.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

idk why but i emotionally feel like **** right now


----------



## PlayerOffGames

all is well....about to go to bed


----------



## tea111red

Nervous
Worried
Unorganized
Unprepared
Stuck


----------



## Crisigv

Exhausted
Hungry
Feet hurt

Kind of sad because I saw an old man that reminded me of my grandfather who passed away. Sometimes I spontaneously burst into tears.


----------



## sweetlilislandgirl26

*hugs* for everyone


----------



## lisbeth

Like I'm gonna throw up. I just went out with a bunch of people I don't know. Nothing went wrong and I actually managed to talk a bit, but the stress from anxiety is just exhausting. On the way there I kept thinking "I want to die, I want to die, death is better than this". Then on the way home, after it was all over and the tension should have been gone, I just suddenly started feeling so sick like I was going to puke. I'm glad I went because it's a step forward and everything, but it's so hard to _want_ to socialise when it feels so ****ing awful. Like the anxiety attacks I was having before I went out - it's so unpleasant, in the moment it feels like the worst thing in the world.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

lisbeth said:


> Like I'm gonna throw up. I just went out with a bunch of people I don't know. Nothing went wrong and I actually managed to talk a bit, but the stress from anxiety is just exhausting. On the way there I kept thinking "I want to die, I want to die, death is better than this". Then on the way home, after it was all over and the tension should have been gone, I just suddenly started feeling so sick like I was going to puke. I'm glad I went because it's a step forward and everything,* but it's so hard to want to socialise when it feels so ****ing awful.* Like the anxiety attacks I was having before I went out - it's so unpleasant, in the moment it feels like the worst thing in the world.


That's the problem. Fighting the fear and going through with things, and then they're not enjoyable, and just leave me thinking about killing myself. It gets hard to remember why I'm even trying to push my boundaries.


----------



## lisbeth

Wings of Amnesty said:


> That's the problem. Fighting the fear and going through with things, and then they're not enjoyable, and just leave me thinking about killing myself. It gets hard to remember why I'm even trying to push my boundaries.


Yes!!!!!! The thing is, there isn't even any such thing as a comfort zone, because even the 'comfort zone' is uncomfortable. The more I withdraw, the more things start to scare me, to the point where I start getting really scared in my own house. So you can't win, it seems like. Honestly though, I just end up thinking of all the times in my life I've tried to put myself out there and meet groups of people, and every time it feels so horrible. Even positive interactions end up feeling horrible. I have fun and still end up feeling like puking.


----------



## iCod

Feel like popping some pills and getting out of this world while at the same time not wanting to do so for some odd reason...Hope? Nah....cowardice to go through with suicide? Probably it.


----------



## Theresa Ann

A little nervous and lonely . :frown2:


----------



## Andras96

My will to do anything is dropping fast. This isn't good. I don't know how I'm going to get out of this, I just want a way out. I don't want to deal with the world anymore, I don't want to deal with people anymore. I don't want to keep up with these standards people expect of me. I just want out.


----------



## probably offline

Nervous/excited.


----------



## tea111red

Pfft.....uninspired. Lazy.


----------



## bad baby

sleep deprived and hungry. ugh =﹏=


----------



## tea111red

I need a tranquilizer.


----------



## Braulio13

im feeling shocked and getting over a wave of depression and gums are in slight pain. no more klonopin!


----------



## TryingMara

Sleepy.


----------



## herk

crushing loneliness


----------



## justasigh

Tired but awake. . I got three hours of sleep last night.


----------



## Andras96

Nothing changes, same ****, different day. I just drove over 90 on the freeway. part of me wanted to crash. but i didn't and here i am typing this. there is no helping me. who the hell would want to help me


----------



## pinkempyreal

I'm tired of talking when no one around me cares about what I have to say.


----------



## 668546

hopeless.
defeated.


----------



## Blue Dino

This weird mysterious cough and throat discomfort seems to be coming back once again. 

My Internet has been mysterious slow as a snail all week. 

It's all a mystery.


----------



## Cashel

I think I'm depressed.

I'm lonely, lazy and can't even seem to get to know myself.


----------



## pocketbird

heartbroken


----------



## bad baby

Blue Dino said:


> This weird mysterious cough and throat discomfort seems to be coming back once again.
> 
> My Internet has been mysterious slow as a snail all week.
> 
> It's all a mystery.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

nervous about school starting tomorrow. it doesn't help that i have my worst class for anxiety for the first three periods tomorrow, featuring my least favourite teacher. it's kinda cool that i get to see the bae but the tradeoff with that is further-ly increased anxiety. just what i need.


----------



## kanra02

I feel lonely, sad, lazy...


----------



## Blue Dino

bad baby said:


>


*puts on tin foil hat*

and

*gives you an upvote*


----------



## bad baby

Blue Dino said:


> *puts on tin foil hat*
> 
> and
> 
> *gives you an upvote*


thanks for the upvote :]


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel pretty allright  despite the fact she kept me up till like 3;30 am i dont feel tired


----------



## SofaKing

Amused. 

It happened for me today...the observation of being "quiet" at work. My supervisor and my partner (I'm an EMT and work on a two person ambulance crew) were talking about a case that the supervisor had worked that morning and I was busily putting the truck back together after our own call. I was listening intently; however, since i'm soon to be a paramedic and this was educational. The supervisor says..."you're awfully quiet" and my partner says..."well, you know Kyle". My response is my favorite Stephen Covey quote "Seek first to understand, then to be understood.". 

I mean, what's wrong with actually listening and not interrupting other people's conversations?

That's why it's aggravating to be in group conversations at work, it's everyone talking over each other, the volume goes up, messages are messed up, and nothing is ever understood. No wonder, I chill in the background waiting for the right time to speak, if ever.


----------



## tea111red

I slept most of the day and I'm still just as miserable as I was before I went to sleep.


----------



## Zachh

Reentering your pin at the atm coupled with being alone for a short time as your friend uses the bathroom. if i were coerced into experiencing those two things simultaneously i'd kill myself


----------



## Kevin001

Anxious and tired at the same time. I wonder how many hrs of sleep I will get tonight.


----------



## FuhGeddaBoudit

Every single day I have moments of happiness and moments of depression. The depression only comes when I'm thinking about things from the past that still lye in my heart.


----------



## MCHB

Tired. Morning came way to early today!


----------



## SofaKing

Nervous. Waiting to take my class final this morning.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel fine  a bit sleepy but I have some exercises to do and that wake me up


----------



## tea111red

ick. i think this stuff i've been taking for sleep is dehydrating me too much and making me feel faint.


----------



## SofaKing

KyleInSTL said:


> Nervous. Waiting to take my class final this morning.


Hopeful...Passed this final...one more national certification test to go and I'll be a licensed paramedic.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i kind of feel like cutting myself


----------



## Surly Wurly

losing my mind from insomnia god im so screwed up


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

My throat hurts pretty bad. Hoping it's not strep throat.


----------



## Andras96

I have no redeeming qualities, I just don't. I need to stop getting my hopes up of someone going out of their way for me, it just won't happen. I shouldn't be here. I don't want to go on like this. I don't want to feel like this every single freakin' day.


----------



## Andras96

Oooh look, depressed little me again. Look at him go...


----------



## SofaKing

Anxious...I have a hugely important test tomorrow. No way to study anymore for it than I've already done.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i fe pretty good  plus I have something nice for her that i will share later on  shes gonna like it I hope


----------



## Kiba

Just feel massively overwhelmed with **** right now. So much is on my plate and i don't have the aptitude to manage all the stress.


----------



## herk

in ocd mode spending an hour arranging bookmarks on my comp for no reason, avoiding doing some things i should be doing, disappointed in my lack of progress this week


----------



## tea111red

really frustrated.


----------



## Surly Wurly

just weighing up the relationship i have with the "please wait" music i get when i call my workplace. we've known each other for 8 years and its been rocky


----------



## kesker

Surly Wurly said:


> losing my mind from insomnia god im so screwed up


X2 hope you get some relief soon. I'm going in to the hospital for an overnight stay in their sleep lab in November. :blank


----------



## Surly Wurly

kesker said:


> X2 hope you get some relief soon. I'm going in to the hospital for an overnight stay in their sleep lab in November. :blank


wow man thats effed up : /

i on the other hand got an amazing long sleep last night, thank god.

you have long running issues with insomnia?


----------



## kesker

Surly Wurly said:


> wow man thats effed up : /
> 
> i on the other hand got an amazing long sleep last night, thank god.
> 
> you have long running issues with insomnia?


Oh! glad to hear. What's that like?

yeah, i've been averaging 3 hours or so since 2008, lol. Luckily I don't require a lot of sleep so I've been semi-ok until recently. I think I finally hit the wall though. It has a visible effect on me now, memory etc. Tired.


----------



## Surly Wurly

kesker said:


> Oh! glad to hear. What's that like?
> 
> yeah, i've been averaging 3 hours or so since 2008, lol. Luckily I don't require a lot of sleep so I've been semi-ok until recently. I think I finally hit the wall though. It has a visible effect on me now, memory etc. Tired.


jeez that sucks. i think i had a period not as much as a year, maybe 8 months, where i was sleeping that little. i was amazed how much i "adapted" to it but part of that adaptation is a drastic reduction in quality of life. : /

i do have a friend that has been locked in really bad insomnia like you describe for a very long time, what can doctors and stuff do about it? what was the process you went through to arrive in that whole "sleep lab zone"? : |


----------



## kesker

Surly Wurly said:


> jeez that sucks. i think i had a period not as much as a year, maybe 8 months, where i was sleeping that little. i was amazed how much i "adapted" to it but part of that adaptation is a drastic reduction in quality of life. : /
> 
> i do have a friend that has been locked in really bad insomnia like you describe for a very long time, what can doctors and stuff do about it? what was the process you went through to arrive in that whole "sleep lab zone"? : |


First I did a CBT program for sleep thru my health provider , then tried Trazodone, then Ambien, did some bloodwork to check thyroid etc. I found out about the sleep lab on my own and called my doctor to request going and he gave the ok.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

well I feel fine today but I worry about someone I know i havent heard from in a week : I hope she is ok


----------



## bad baby

killin it


----------



## Depo

So-so. Today I did something I'd never done before. I dragged my father's punching bag into my room and started kicking and punching it as if I were crazy, thinking it was my ex, the normies, this **** country, this **** life, etc. It lasted like 6 minutes and my leg and knuckles are still sore. It made me feel better afterwards. Sometimes I have so much anger inside myself I need to let it out, but this time it was different. I'm normally a quiet and calm person though.


----------



## Barakiel

meh


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Like I had a splitting headache all night and am just glad it's gone.


----------



## Staticnz

Really good and I don't really know why.


----------



## Surly Wurly

kesker said:


> First I did a CBT program for sleep thru my health provider , then tried Trazodone, then Ambien, did some bloodwork to check thyroid etc. I found out about the sleep lab on my own and called my doctor to request going and he gave the ok.


thats quite the ordeal : / ill be heading off to bed soon i guess. wonder what rubbish ill have to put up with tonight


----------



## odetoanoddity

I'm actually not too bad! I feel alright, some minor anxiety about work tomorrow, but not too all consuming and bad. Other than that, I'm quite calm and still.


----------



## MCHB

Mellow and tired; probably going to bed shortly. Last night I had a headache, but it's subsided today. One more day of class and then I'm heading back to Kelowna for the long weekend (Canadian thanksgiving!)


----------



## theotherone

i feel like i miss 'someone'

i also wish everyone knew they mattered, especially me too.


----------



## cosmicslop

That I want to be anywhere but caged in this house.


----------



## theotherone

i wonder who it was, n this might be the only last message.........

smh......... love suxs... "LOVE"


----------



## Andras96

Why am I even still alive. what point is there to it. I offer NOTHING to anyone. I'd be nice to have one friend. I can't even get that. people just hope that I go away and leave them alone. well believe me, I want myself gone more than anyone else.


----------



## Strategist

Really wish I had a girl friend or two to talk with.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel pretty good 

had a decent day today and last night my voice to her was described as ''calming'' and ''charming'' so that was uplifting


----------



## Kevin001

Not to hot. My counselor tried to get me to talk to a girl today and I had a mini panic attack. At least we tried.


----------



## tea111red

Today sucked.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

today was OK I feel fine


----------



## Kevin001

Ok, a little bit of a headache but I'll take it compared to the last few days.


----------



## shelbster18

I feel good. I'm going to lie to anyone that asks me if I have a job and say I do in order to avoid getting aggravated with cliche life lessons.


----------



## Harbinger1

Bored and frustrated


----------



## dune87

My kidney hurts. But I feel ok in general, a lot better than yesterday.


----------



## Crisigv

a little lonely on this friday night


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel alright 

seems I made someone a bit special feel happy today and this made me smile a lot  Im a bit tired now cause I walked a lot today but I will waken up in an hour or so because I have exercises to do


----------



## Nekomata

Nervous, scared and lonely. Also hungry.


----------



## Charmeleon

Lethargic


----------



## Crisigv

Not so great


----------



## tea111red

Nerves are riled up.


----------



## Tasj

Today started pretty good, I had hope it would be a nice day. But after my girlfriend left for work everything went downhill. I started to feel alone and now I realize how alone I am without her. I ended up back here for tonight, hoping I won't feel alone anymore.


----------



## Vuldoc

just ****ing peachy...


----------



## tea111red

Ick. I just want this day to be over w/.


----------



## farfegnugen

Worn out. Have to get caught up with some work but watching a badly played football game instead. Other than that I feel spiffy.


----------



## JohnDoe26

Sick, sore throat, like my body's fighting a viral infection


----------



## Wizard Lizard

Pretty good, I'm taking a break in between drawing sessions.


----------



## TimeUpComeOn

Things can always be worse.
Things can also always be better.
Percentage-wise, worse still leads.


----------



## Strategist

TimeUpComeOn said:


> Things can always be worse.
> Things can also always be better.
> Percentage-wise, worse still leads.


So true. Flawless logic.


----------



## Strategist

Feel like there is no point to anything.


----------



## GreyWorld

I'm feeling better this evening than I did this morning. I don't know why. Nothing in my life has improved, so it can't be that. I wonder if I'm bipolar, the way my moods go up and down....or I guess, down followed by less down. I hate that in America, you can't get mental health care unless you have money. If I lived in any other industrialized country, I'd be able to just go to a doctor and get the help I need. But here in the ****ed-Up States of America, only the rich can afford medical care.


----------



## shelbster18

Aggravated. My bf's grandfather won't let me and my bf go to the movies. He can't control where we go. **** that. Hell, I hardly go any ****ing where anyways. What am I supposed to do? Walk the streets at night I guess.


----------



## theotherone

Alcadaeus said:


> Excited, about to eat chicken tikka masala for the first time.


oh cool.

i want to try Arabic food or Russian 

i'm brown i eat brown foods.


----------



## theotherone

i feel so unbelievably alone, i could _.

why? why do i not trust those around me... to actually care.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

hungry and a tad anxious.


----------



## Brina Miko

I feel calm... but sad.


----------



## MCHB

Ooooonghhhhh....I ate too much!


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

Nothing. Just continuing to suppress any vague hint of feeling that ever surfaces. It's not even worth trying to feel anymore.


----------



## tea111red

I've been more SA and avoidant than usual lately.


----------



## reaffected

Horribly worried about a friend.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling a bit trapped and confused. I'm scared I could lose the best thing that's ever happened to me because I am also scared of my family. I don't think they will support me if I go, but they are my family and I do still need them. I'm lost.


----------



## Kevin001

Very anxious, worrying about anything and everything. I've been trying to sleep more so I won't worry so much.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Antisocial


----------



## ShatteredGlass

not exactly impressed.

+ yay for more anxiety-induced abdominal pain.


----------



## JohnDoe26

Bored.


----------



## Strategist

I feel like I'm on some horrible ride like the spinning teacups and I can't get off. Cept it's not teacups, it's just life.


----------



## BackToThePast

50 years have passed, yet I do not age. I feel weary.


----------



## Teisha Moten

I'm feeling excited for our trip to Boracay tomorrow.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired and horny. I guess its normal at this time.


----------



## Cyclonic

Feel like ****, might be coming down with a cold. It's been a while since I've been sick so I guess I'm due.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious
Misunderstood
Vulnerable
Diminished


----------



## KILOBRAVO

well I feel fine !!


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling super pumped!! Toronto Blue Jays advance to the ALCS and Toronto FC make it to the playoffs for the first time!!


----------



## Akuba

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious
> Misunderstood
> Vulnerable
> Diminished


Me too, although I'm feeling (temporarily) relieved after finishing my homework.


----------



## quesara

Tired but trying to find the motivation to go to the gym.


----------



## MCHB

Think I might be getting sick; have a bit of a sore throat going.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

for months i cant cry and now i cant stop crying

i need help, i feel absolutely unbearable


----------



## LostinReverie

Aroused


----------



## Charmeleon

LostInReverie said:


> Aroused


What happened? I thought @minimized was helping you with that lol


----------



## regimes

glad and relieved that i got to take my kitty to the vet today.


----------



## MCHB

Definitely coming down with a bug of some kind; if I'm going to get sick, at least it's happening during the welding part of my course.


----------



## JohnDoe26

Feeling like the days are going by so fast


----------



## Andras96

Sad, but screw it. I won't be in an hour though. Screw it, screw it all, i'm drinking. I'm going to drink myself to death and I don't really care.


----------



## Andras96

now THIS is how I want to feel


----------



## Orbiter

I'd like to have some intimacy... well **** it *no pun intended*


----------



## Andras96

My tolerance must have built up because I feel horrible again. I just want a friend, someone who I can depend on, but no, I can't have that. And so I post on here since this is basically my journal. And I can't even explain myself properly on here. I'm at a loss for words. Nothing I say will change anything. I'll always be an obstruction to people, I'll always be "that" person that people just leave alone. I'm wasting energy typing this.


----------



## tea111red

Low.


----------



## Depo

I'm so angry. Some guy contacted me and offered me a job. Monday thru Saturday, 9 am to 6 pm. And I was like ok, but when he told me how much he was going to pay me, I was like "are you f***ing crazy?", 240 dollars a month? Really? He must've been on drugs, cause there's no f***ing way I'm taking it. I didn't spend 7 years studying in order to get a degree to end up like that. He was probably laughing at me. I'm so mad right now. F*** him and f*** his stupid and useless life. I hope he rots in hell for making me waste my time. I wanted to punch him right on the face.


----------



## minimized

Deprived


----------



## JustThisGuy

Slight headache. Need sleep, maybe. Need to watch horror movie, maybe. Need.


----------



## Lynxrunner

numb


----------



## probably offline

Happy. Warm. Lucky. Ridiculously in love.

(but stressed about school. i'm behind. fffffff. yep.)


----------



## tea111red

I slept 2 hrs and am dragging.


----------



## IAmBreakingOut

I'm feeling.. lazy! I pushed the envelop this week--socially and at work--and now I need to recharge my batteries a bit.


----------



## JohnDoe26

I feel like I'm coming down with something. Slight sore throat, chills, headache


----------



## Kevin001

I feel like a zombie. Lethargic I guess.


----------



## kivi

Tired. My eyes feel weird. Studying that much isn't healthy, obviously.


----------



## harrison

Very tired, excited, anxious, terrified, sore, old.


----------



## anidierabroad

Loathed, despised, hated. Because I am actually.


----------



## Barakiel

Weird, strange dreams always give me derealization for a bit.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & sluggish


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel OK  a bit tired earlier now but I have workouts to do later on and this will help ( and it will probable impress her again with my stamina )


----------



## TenYears

Hopeful. I might have a date for Halloween. She said maybe. And maybe doesn't mean no, it means maybe. Really hope she says yes. She's really cool, and pretty, and she seems to "get" me. And she might be reading this and I don't even care lol. She knows I know she knows I think she's all that


----------



## Barakiel

Tired, not as much as I expected from almost 24 hours being awake though. Also a bit confused and uncertain about some things.


----------



## MCHB

Man, I don't know what they put in generic dayquil, but I feel goooooooood! Comparatively I mean. Between that, vitamin C and Echinacea, I'm hoping to kick this cold by the end of the weekend!


----------



## Charmeleon

I feel like a horribly depressed beached dolphin that's getting stabbed repeatedly by angry little japanese fisherman.


----------



## SofaKing

RadnessaurousRex said:


> I feel like a horribly depressed beached dolphin that's getting stabbed repeatedly by angry little japanese fisherman.


You too?


----------



## slyfox

Sick to my stomach


----------



## shelbster18

Proud now that I finally got me a side job doing tree removal. Right when I was about to give up, I got lucky with this. Today was my second day and some wood hit my boot and it hurt my foot for a few minutes. I get paid by the end of this week. Everyone said I did better than they expected.


----------



## NahMean

My sister calls me today saying she is going to Germany for work and asked if I wanted to tag along. I can't go as I just got back from a week-long trip from Colorado this Friday, and have a lot I need to get caught up on with work. Not sure how I feel about it. Germany would've been a lot more expensive, but would be interesting to visit a foreign country in Europe finally. Oh well....maybe next year.


----------



## Barakiel

meh seems to be my default mood.


----------



## JohnDoe26

Irritated. My skin is breaking out.


----------



## tea111red

my situation depresses me.


----------



## kurtcobain

Unsettled and insecure


----------



## Findedeux

Felt a little down today.

I was interacting with this incredibly beautiful woman at work today.

It wasn't just that she looked gorgeous (and probably about 5-8yrs younger than me), it was how sexy she looked when she was smiling at me.

She had this really flirty/sultry smile that drove me crazy and it just made me think about how I wasn't really involved in that aspect of life.

She even had one of those sexy Russian names to boot.

It wasn't so much lust that I am referring to as the feeling of being wanted, of being alive and electric...


----------



## tea111red

4 hrs in and I already want the day to just end.


----------



## unpossible

feel useless and depressed as usual


----------



## Barakiel

I've been feeling envious/jealous on and off about some really dumb things. I know it's dumb but I just can't stop D:


----------



## flyingMint

I feel really stupid. I feel as if there is no hope for me. I did something with a clueless mentality and ended up having one of the most awkward experiences of my life. I feel so stupid and people probably think I need help. I just feel so stupid, why do these things have to happen to me.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

I'm feeling good, this has been a really great week at work. These are the weeks that remind me why I got into this field.


----------



## tea111red

Looking in the mirror is just depressing.


----------



## rdrr

stuck


----------



## bad baby

**** everybody (and everything) ...is that a feeling? well, it should be.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired and hopeless. Just going through the motions waiting for all this to end.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

im absolutely freaking terrified im actually shaking like crazy to the point where i can barely walk help im so scared


----------



## LostinReverie

Nervous because there was a mod on my profile :afr


----------



## Wizard Lizard

Robotic


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i felt pretty good all day today  feel a bit tired now but this is becasue of after dinner 

later i have exercises to do so that will wake me up again


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

This has been a really great week, I feel like I did everything right this week, I was good at my job this week, I enjoyed my job even. I still want to die though.


----------



## XRik7X

Lazy as always, just want to play my videogames and watch my anime all the day


----------



## SilkyJay

Bursts of sudden sadness tonight. I'm just really lonely, and scared of what's to come.


----------



## Barakiel

Tired but I doubt I'll get much sleep tonight.


----------



## Andras96

Okay right now but it won't last.


----------



## Andras96

Another night thinking this, so I might as well type it out. What is wrong with me? I mean it. I wish people could tell me a definitive answer. What do I do that drives people... you away? What do I say? What can I do differently? The few people I've tried to reach out to, talk with.. wander away from me. 

At first they seem uneasy when speaking to me and then they always end up just.. disappearing. People always drift away from me, and I can never know what it is I did to offend, trouble them. I need someone to please just tell me.. I already have an inferiority complex, so hell if I can tell myself an answer. I need someone, someone to just tell me from their view, an objective answer. Can't I just know? Can't I at least have that?...


----------



## Andras96

I don't want to do this anymore, I don't. Why can't people just give me a chance? Why do i always have to feel so ****ing lonely, i don't want to feel like this anymore.


----------



## akari

I am empathetic towards all who are struggling because right now I'm laying on the floor myself. I feel heartbroken even though I wasn't in love..I'm probably not making any sense at all.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel allright


----------



## Barakiel

mehh


----------



## kathieh

I feel sad that another person who was trying to teach me to do a project.said well some people pick up while others...um well need more hell .made me feel stupid.which in turn always makes me cry which makes me then feel stupid all over again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## kathieh

I was told that if I don't think people like me that I am probably projecting negative gives so they tend to shy away from me.do you agree
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## hellollama

I have a mild headache that's barely there.... Arghhhhhh..


----------



## LostinReverie

Used


----------



## jAYNE41

worried ad depressed and unsure about where my life is headed!


----------



## MCHB

Relaxed; listening to music, so pretty chill at the moment. Probably going to sleep in about half an hour.


----------



## Andras96

Right now... I want to vanish. I want to leave this all behind. My god, I'm just wasting breath... I wish there was an easier way


----------



## tea111red

I wish I would meet some positive influences.


----------



## Andras96

I wish i didn't feel so invalidated


----------



## Andras96

tea111red said:


> I wish I would meet some positive influences.


Me too.


----------



## SilkyJay

I'm so hungover it's absurd. Such a hottie at the party last night too I was getting along with with bright pink hair and pierced nose. Wish I didn't get so saucey, I might have been able to see the night through and would've liked to have talked more with her... but as usual she was being followed around like a puppy dog most of the time by the the same two dudes... or should I say friends.. (one who's on the sexual offender list, and the other is simply a dbag with a lake house, vineyard, who has literally no compassion for others that don't have value to him) I really didn't care, as usual I defer to not trying usually... but wonder what happened last night... she was sooo hot, or maybe it was the costume.

Felt good get out and go to a party. and it felt good to reach out to someone and have them invite you unexpectedly. I'm never drinking jungle juice or whatever the **** was in it again.


----------



## Damon

Terrible. Plus I should be getting kicked off the site soon.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

im fine


----------



## LostinReverie

Very aroused.. and very frustrated.


----------



## tea111red

Angry and disrespected.


----------



## PrincessV

kathieh said:


> I was told that if I don't think people like me that I am probably projecting negative gives so they tend to shy away from me.do you agree
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well I heard that if we feel a certain way about ourselves, we probably project that off to other people as true. Like rejection for example.. if you already feel from the gecko like you're rejected, you most likely project that you feel rejected and that could make people feel uncomfortable. Idk, people like to judge others off their vibe, and if your vibe is "insecure, rejected, ect.." then that's how people will probably see you. I read somewhere that _"rejection is an illusion. I am only rejected if I BELIEVE people are rejecting me."_ If you think about it, it makes sense.


----------



## megalodon

Im feelin mellow
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## uziq

numb


----------



## 7th.Streeter

I felt good till I checked instagram and saw people dressed up n havin fun...

And just felt like, ishould be doin that,partying and havin fun 🎉 not wasting aww in a room... Uhhhg 😐


----------



## kivi

Hopeless


----------



## Ameenah

kivi said:


> Hopeless


 :hug:


----------



## love4puppies

I'm questioning the reason for my existence....


----------



## kivi

Ameenah said:


> :hug:


Thank you


----------



## Silere

I feel quite well, although I can't say why > That could be bad luck in this situation.


----------



## tea111red

It sucks feeling like you don't want to have to live your day to day life but also not wanting to be dead. I just feel like all I'm left to do is sleep, but I have a lot of trouble even doing that. I don't even know how to get out of my depression.


----------



## Kevin001

Frustrated. I overate today, I was so not supposed to do that.


----------



## tea111red

horrible and still can't stay asleep.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Dreary/defeated


----------



## Crisigv

Not very happy right now.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.


----------



## AffinityWing

Tired

Still trying to suppress my demons and waiting for another day that'll probably just be full of anxiety and crappy, depressed feelings again.


----------



## calichick

I hate the moment when you're crouched down trying to remain as inconspicuously hidden and unobserved as possible only to take a quick glance behind you and find a majorly cute guy - the one who has been trying to chat you up since Day 1 but he makes you so nervous that you can only make corny jokes or try to avoid speaking to him in the first place - standing literally 2 feet from you, pretending to look at his phone, and you whip your head back around and hope that he doesn't realize that you've just knowingly shunned him out of shyness (doesn't help that this same guy looks exactly...exactly like my avatar pic. Clean lines and all)


Or when you know guys like you, are attracted to you, and when they come near you they get silent, dart their eyes quickly to and from you, pretend like they're not looking because that's exactly what you do when he makes you nervous.

Feel like it's a vicious and bitter cycle and feel like I'm the luckiest woman in the world to have men who I am interested in also return the sentiment which scares the f**** out of me.

I just want a man who cares about me, who can make me laugh, who doesn't take himself seriously 85% of the time. I wish I had a man who gave a damn about me. I know one hundred and one cute guys and yet I am still alone.


----------



## tea111red

depressed and can't sleep...... even after taking sleep stuff.


----------



## tea111red

really self-destructive right now.


----------



## SilkyJay

I have a job to look forward too and my relationship with my mom hasn't been better in a long time and I've reconnected with some old friends in recent times I haven't seen in a while,,, but I'm sitting here in bed feeling beyond lonely and sad when I should be feeling positive about the next few weeks. It's probably to do wuth switching off my medication to another here in the past week so my dick doesn't fall off, among a few other side effects, but deep down I know it's more than the medicine... I'm just plain miserable being on my own any more. Nobody is meant to be this isolated.

I think just the thought of work and the future of being alone and having to figure out even more while things are undoubtedly going toget weirder makes me want to not get out of bed.


----------



## Kevin001

Depressed......its one of those days.


----------



## Surly Wurly

drunk

peckish

feel like cooking

pretty much wanna make a chicken casserole but ill just make some french toast and call it a night


----------



## ShatteredGlass

for some reason i've felt like crap almost all day... i felt good (great even) in the morning, but then my mood plummeted and it's been low ever since. idk why... it started soon after i took my meds, which is kind of ironic, considering they're uh.. an antidepressant.


----------



## LostinReverie

Aroused. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is so ****ing hot, and watching those three together is almost too much.


----------



## LostinReverie

tea111red said:


> really self-destructive right now.


I really hope you're feeling better. I know those moods too well.


----------



## LostinReverie

Kevin001 said:


> Depressed......its one of those days.


Its all about the he says she says bull****


----------



## Telliblah

Warm, very warm. Feverish almost.


----------



## theotherone

most neglected human on Earth... lol

n good i guess n pain the usual morning n my in laws, being normies, and a stupid lil 18 year old here dislikes me in this house, so annoyed too... but i need to pray her off my back.


i've only had 2 ppl dislike me idk y


----------



## tea111red

LostInReverie said:


> I really hope you're feeling better. I know those moods too well.


Hey, thank you....that was nice to read.  I'm doing okay today, so far.

Destructive and roller coaster moods suck!!


----------



## LostinReverie

Good to hear


----------



## Euripides

Got fired on one job by the most irritatingly indecisive editor who made me work trough nights causing me insomnia and temporary psychosis (but got hired an hour before by a Hollywood production company as a scriptwriter). 
¯\_(ツ)_/¯


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Spent


----------



## Euripides

Raging, raging, raging against the dying of the light. Clawing at the moon. Isn't it funny how you can ache just from the deadly drone of existence? Raging, raging, raging against the cage and all the feathers that have fallen to earth which I used to like having around. Vonnegut's "So it goes" is my catchphrase but not tonight. Tonight I rage.








(inb4 u mad bro)


----------



## shelbster18

Pissed off. My dad hasn't called me in over a year. Not once. Hell, give me some damn support. No one talks to me and everyone avoids me.


----------



## TenYears

I'm feeling much better now. I went to pick up my oldest daughter while my dad entertained my other two. It was nice to get some alone time with her because, tbh, we needed it. She's been real stand-off-ish lately, kind of cold. I think it probably has a lot to do with what my ex-wife might be saying about me, but idk, I'm not sure, it's all kind of complicated, too much to get into here. We had a good drive back, we talked a lot, about how things are going. Band is real important to her, that's her whole life right now. She's first chair in bass clarinet and she doesn't do it just for something to do, she absolutely *loves *playing, she practices for hours every day, and she's really very good. She names her instrument, and if she gets a new one the next school year, she renames it. Last year it was "Baby". This year it's "Felicia". We talked about her being a band aid, also. Get it? Bandaid? lol

I worry about her. I can tell what my daughter (all my kids, really) are thinking...a mile away. I can feel all their insecurities, I can tell when they're anxious. I think it comes with having anxiety disorders and depression, like I do...I think you kind of develop a sixth sense...you can tell when something isn't quite right, when other people around you are the slightest bit anxious, or off, I'm the first to notice. I can usually pick up on it right away.

We kept talking when we got to my parent's house and she showed me a lot of Youtube videos of her band. She showed me some pranks some of her band friends pulled off. We laughed together. It felt like things were back to the way they always have been. Was pretty awesome. I think we're OK now. I hope things stay this way.


----------



## Crystal13

Drunk and high :laugh::laugh:


----------



## tea111red

Bored as hell. I doubt posting this will do much to change this, though. I'll do it anyway...haha.


----------



## GiantPanda

I feel like a gooey chocolate brownie :3


----------



## Kevin001

Anxious and a little horny.


----------



## uziq

extremely tired, 7 am and I still haven't slept


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, a little hung over but that will pass. 

I'm still waking up even though I have been up for an hour, I don't really have any plans for the day. I think I will play a few video games, and that is about it for the day. I can't really clean as I got notification to turn off all of our water due to some maintenance or something further down the road, so in a way I have to be lazy today, lol. My wife and kids are at school, so I have the house to myself for the next seven hours, I'll probably organize stuff around but that is all I can really do without water.

I have a big cup of coffee, with tons of creamer, milk, sugar and a touch of hazelnut, just the way I like it. Things are looking pretty good so far.


----------



## harrison

I'm a tiny bit pissed. Had a beer tonight with my dinner.

I miss C but I know this is a good idea. Gives me a chance to get my head together and for her to miss me. Which I can tell she does - she never stops messaging me. She calls and asks why I haven't phoned her. It's great.

I'm crazy about this girl.


----------



## peace_love

Hungry


----------



## Crisigv

Sad


----------



## TimeUpComeOn

Like test mouse in lab.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

Kevin001 said:


> Anxious and a little horny.


well thats a strange combination..... 
@Crystal13 YAY 

I feel fine


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious
Sad
Conflicted
Sick
Tired


----------



## Ladysoul

Strange.. I feel like a stranger to myself.


----------



## swallowtale

I feel very bleak and lonely, I miss the people who don't want to talk to me.


----------



## tea111red

misanthropic.


----------



## thomasjune

Tired and hungry but too lazy to get up and get something to eat.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Terrible. Just found out someone close to my family died. Even before that happened I just felt like something was wrong today.


----------



## goku23

down, probably shouldn't have taken a mega dose of benzo's
will struggle to get to work tomorrow, 
better than the feeling I had before this though. feeling numb now instead of hurt


----------



## Hopendreamer111

Feeling okay today. Much better than I have been feeling as of lately.


----------



## MCHB

Mellow; contemplative.


----------



## Crisigv

Hopeless


----------



## ShatteredGlass

mostly empty, with a side dish of depressed; the latter manifesting itself as a slight tinge in my chest.

as is the case most of the time, i barely feel like doing anything; choosing to merely waste hours upon hours of my life on doing next to do nothing. i cannot be bothered with anything and it sucks. it ****ing, ****ing sucks, but the feeling of angst is so vague that i can't tell if it's even real, or merely a subconscious fueled representation of _something_......

i'm 'worried' that my medication is negatively impacting me cognitively. i think it may have blunted my emotions to a certain degree, which is, somewhat ironically, what i wanted, but i wanted it because i thought it would positively impact my cognition due to a lack of emotions clouding logical judgement.

now it's just empty. i get distracted so easily. i have no motivation. i didn't even study for my exams, except barely for one of them. i'm doing even less school work. i barely enjoy anything. i was like this before, but i always thought that anxiety was the cause. now i realize that it's just my endless deficiencies. anxiety was simply a cover-up, since it was all i'd think about before it wasn't so overwhelming.

i think i might have depression... strange considering i take an ssri that actually does work significantly for my anxiety, but has little effect emotionally. i should really call my therapist and book an appointment. i feel like it's pointless, but it's not like it'll cost me money to at least try.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Ghetto


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel fine becasue today was a bit easier than i thought it would be and i have done my pushups exercises.

however i am still a bit worried about *****n..... its someone i am close to


----------



## Kevin001

Fat......I was doing ok with my eating until about an hr ago.


----------



## Surly Wurly

Havent woken up panicking like that in quite a while. Used to feel that way every single morning, i remember i used to be much much worse in fact, every day. Wouldn't wish that insanity on anyone


----------



## mr hoang

Relieved. Got the day off today.


----------



## tea111red

I'm just so depressed and lifeless today. I feel like I don't even want to be awake.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious 
Sad
Lonely
Sick


----------



## zonebox

*It is Friday*









The work week is behind me  I'm feeling pretty good right now. I have three days, to do as I please.


----------



## goku23

happy, for the first time in a long time.
yet, frustrated! 
hopeful I think is a better description!


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Much better compared to earlier this week.


----------



## Depo

I'm extremly nervous and anxious. I'm having a date tomorrow night and this man I've been talking to hasn't talked to me for 3 days (only the usual hi and good day, good night, etc) because he was on a trip, he came back from his trip yesterday, but he was too tired to talk to me, so I said it was "fine, we'll talk tomorrow." 

He says he can't wait to see me, but I'm an emotional rollercoaster (of course I won't let him notice that.) I haven't been with someone since a year ago, when my ex-bf came out as transgender and I broke up with him (which was a tiny part of all the awful things that have happened to me this year.) 

After we met in person (we didn't make out or anything like that), he said that he loved me, well I'm 27 and I know what those words mean, and his telling me that he loves me kinda freaked me out, but not very much because he's 21 (I don't like older men.) I don't know if he just likes me (many men have told me I'm very attractive, and yes, attractive people can have SA) or if he's just fooling around. Part of me says, relax, he's just 21 years old and part of me says "he's just a kid, he won't take you seriously."

We've had 3 dates so far (I met him a month ago), and no, we haven't had anything sexual (I'm not that kind of person, if I can wait a year, I could way another and another.) But I know men that age are mostly looking for sex and that's what scares me. I hate being this insecure, I've been drinking a little, just not to think about all that stuff. But it saddens me to feel this way because of all the men I've met (even the older ones), he seems to be the most grounded. I also don't want to ruin what could've been a good friendship (we have a lot of interests in common.) I wish I could handle this like a normal person, instead of worrying over and over again... :sigh


----------



## Akuba

Slightly better than average. But still a long way from being 'happy'.


----------



## TenYears

Missing someone, really, really badly.


Ffs.


Sometimes I wish there was a real "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" machine that could erase memories. But. I mean, I really don't want to forget her, I don't. It just really hurts sometimes to remember. I never, ever, ever realized you could miss someone this much.


----------



## harrison

Pretty good considering the morning I've had. Got robbed and then some other little sh!ts tried to con me. What a great Sunday morning.

Then my beautiful girl sent me a few photos of herself, so now I feel much better.


----------



## zonebox

Slightly inebriated, my nose and lips feel a little numb. I'm a little tired, a little bored, but things are not so bad.

I've seen worst times, I've seen better times, I dunno.. just sort of bored, y'know? It is too late to do anything entertaining, most of the shows I watch have not come out yet, so all I have to do right now that I can think of, is post on this forum.

I could watch Tom Green.. heck with it, I'm watching Tom Green.






damn seasonal allergies!


----------



## zonebox

don said:


> Pretty good considering the morning I've had. Got robbed and then some other little sh!ts tried to con me. What a great Sunday morning.
> 
> Then my beautiful girl sent me a few photos of herself, so now I feel much better.


Damn man, that is horrible. I mean, it is cool that you have a girlfriend sending you photos, but still.. getting robbed really sucks, then to have people try to con you.

Bleh.. well, hopefully that is the end of the bad part of your week, and next week will move along much better.


----------



## chaosherz

I ususally never look at my Facebook feed but I was just now and clicked 'Like' on a few things. Now I'm feeling anxious and nervous that the people whose posts I 'Liked' will see and then they will notice me, start looking through my profile and then see how much of a life I DON'T have. Sigh... SA is so annoying.


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> Damn man, that is horrible. I mean, it is cool that you have a girlfriend sending you photos, but still.. getting robbed really sucks, then to have people try to con you.
> 
> Bleh.. well, hopefully that is the end of the bad part of your week, and next week will move along much better.


Thanks mate - yeah this part of Bali is a bit of a pain sometimes. Everyone is trying to separate you from your money. 

Think I'll head back to civilisation soon in Jakarta.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel fine today and yesterday was good.... but i have another person to thank for feeling that way


----------



## AffinityWing

Hungry


----------



## Charmeleon

Listening to mumford and sons all day I feel like I'm becoming one with the horses and hipster hillbillies.


----------



## slowlyimproving

sorrow...


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungover, tired


----------



## Hopendreamer111

Alright, not my absolute best but I've definitely had worse days in the past.


----------



## goku23

like God has sent me the biggest blessing I've ever had.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Alright for the moment


----------



## Findedeux

Old. Lonely. Regretful.


----------



## Kevin001

Idk, kinda weird. I've got strong self harm urges going on, I'm struggling with weight issues, and my money is just dwindling........idk how to explain how I'm feeling.


----------



## versikk

Riddled with anxiety and depression.
@Kevin001 can't you change the color of "spencer reid" in your signature, it's hurting my eyes?


----------



## Andre

I am very good. I hope to be able to help all people who are miserable after beating my anxiety and depression. That sucks that you are riddled with anxiety and depression, versikk.


----------



## Kevin001

versikk said:


> @Kevin001 can't you change the color of "spencer reid" in your signature, it's hurting my eyes?


Um? I'll see what I can do, lol. Sorry.


----------



## Strategist

Kinda scared about how uncertain my future is. But other than bursting into tears every 30 minutes or so I'm feeling pretty good.


----------



## AussiePea

Great. said:


> Kinda scared about how uncertain my future is. But other than bursting into tears every 30 minutes or so I'm feeling pretty good.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I still have this cold. I think I jinxed things by saying it'd probably be gone in a night like last time. If I thought I was generally unmotivated/procrastination central... Well it's gotten worse.


----------



## TenYears

I keep wondering where the cute new girl in my apartment complex is. All we've done is say hi a few times, we've been at the mailboxes a couple of times, at the same time, and she seems really sweet. Meh. She's really cute and she's just a bit younger than me, I think. She doesn't wear a wedding ring. Which. Is something I def look for now. After my last few relationships. I'd love to Netflix & chill with her lmao. Meh. Who am I fooling, I'm sure she has a bf.


----------



## Strategist

AussiePea said:


>


Thanks


----------



## LostinReverie

Happy


----------



## Methodical

Great. said:


> Kinda scared about how uncertain my future is. But other than bursting into tears every 30 minutes or so I'm feeling pretty good.


Silver lining: At least you're not worthless and alone at 29.


----------



## JohnDoe26

Feeling like there's quite a lot I want to do but again can't seem to move myself to do it.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

im fine but I feel a bit cold...


----------



## Strategist

Methodical said:


> Silver lining: At least you're not worthless and alone at 29.


I'm alone at 28, but no I'm not worthless. And neither are you.


----------



## Andras96

I'm sick of feeling so horrible each day, all the while these "peers of mine" walk past without a care in the world


----------



## Andras96

I'm sick of this ****, I should have died, I wanted to


----------



## Andras96

it's not fair, I wanted out


----------



## SofaKing

Andras96 said:


> I'm sick of feeling so horrible each day, all the while these "peers of mine" walk past without a care in the world


Not to rain on your drama, but you really don't know their cares or problems. You only perceive they have perfect lives.

I've made that mistaken assumption with others who have told me a humbling tale of woe despite their appearance.

I'm sorry you're in such pain.


----------



## versikk

Rufus said:


> I am very good. I hope to be able to help all people who are miserable after beating my anxiety and depression. That sucks that you are riddled with anxiety and depression, versikk.


Yes it sucks, it's a little bit better now tho. I want to be able to help all people to, but that is humanly impossible.



Kevin001 said:


> Um? I'll see what I can do, lol. Sorry.


My humblest thanks


----------



## TenYears

Really proud of my kids. My ex-wife finally forwarded me some pics of the last few football games my youngest son and daughter were in. My youngest girl played jr hs football this year, and she did really well, they both did  She's somewhat of a legend because although girls play football, not many here do, not where I live. She played hard, she was tough, and she knocked some boys on their butts. And that's what she wanted to do lmao. She's really tiny, really skinny and she was a wide receiver and did really well, and so did my son.


I got some pics of my oldest, in marching band also. I can't believe they actually march with a bass clarinet, it's a huge instrument, but, yeah, they do. And she's doing really well.


I wasn't able to make it to any of their games during the last month because I've been out of town for work. I can't believe my ex actually forwarded me the pics. That was nice. And she's been really nice in her texts lately. I worry when she acts like this, it usually means she's up to something lol.


----------



## Depo

Disheartened, because I haven't been able to find a job related to my uni degree. So I'm starting to fill job applications for retail jobs. I hope I find something soon because my credit card is maxed out (it wasn't maxed out before I stopped paying it) and my debt keeps growing every month, it's insane.


----------



## mr hoang

I dont even know how I survived.


----------



## harrison

Much better - I think I'm going to be able to see my girlfriend again before I go back to Oz.

Thank God.


----------



## DerrickOdea

Much better after proper medication and therapy.


----------



## LostinReverie

So. ****ing. Frustrated.


----------



## rmb1990

Desperate.


----------



## cinnamonqueen

My back hurts but I don't want to pay for massage so just feel ugh 

Oh and more ugh about everything else


----------



## KILOBRAVO

im fine.... maybe i am a bit irritated by the action of another person but i'm not letting their silly behaviors affect me much


----------



## Kevin001

I'm pretty confused about life at the moment.


----------



## stewartmays1

feeling better now im working out again


----------



## Kevin001

Pretty depressed as usual. :sigh


----------



## KILOBRAVO

well i am feeling alright  the weathers crappy tho


----------



## blue2

Like a sugar coated gooseberry


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Sleepy:yawn


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, have my beer, have my ecig, my laptop, Air Conditioner is humming away in the next room, world of warcraft music is playing through my speakers. 

****, what else could I ask for?


----------



## zonebox

I guess a cool goblet would be pretty sweet.. if I had a cool goblet, this night would be better.. Pewter, with "_Sir Zonebox_" engraved on the side, a few wizards and dragons.. Yeah, that would be pretty cool.


----------



## 10k

I'm upset with my grades. no matter what I do, I can't get better grades. They're mediocre. I gotta do the final eaxam because of my lack of attention. I can't fail.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel awful


----------



## TenYears

I'm finally starting to feel better thank God. I was up until almost 2:00am this morning Skyping and drinking with someone, and neither of us really had that much, but omg. I think we both have to be careful with that on our meds lol.


----------



## SofaKing

I'm throwing a pity party. I'm the guest of honor, but I didn't invite anyone else. In the end, having someone's sympathy is worthless...it just doesn't change the outcome...that what I want, I won't get. It's not always a matter of how hard you work or how much you love.


----------



## zonebox

KyleInSTL said:


> I'm throwing a pity party. I'm the guest of honor, but I didn't invite anyone else. In the end, having someone's sympathy is worthless...it just doesn't change the outcome...that what I want, I won't get. It's not always a matter of how hard you work or how much you love.


Well, I may not be invited but I am crashing your party. You go out, and save lives.. you kick butt dude! This beer is in dedication for you, sure it may not be all shiny and cool.. but really man, your services to others is appreciated.


----------



## SofaKing

zonebox said:


> Well, I may not be invited but I am crashing your party. You go out, and save lives.. you kick butt dude! This beer is in dedication for you, sure it may not be all shiny and cool.. but really man, your services to others is appreciated.


Thanks, man. I'm proud I've successfully changed into this career. That is the one thing I do have going well, despite still having to bust my butt for it.

It's part of what keeps me going. Thanks again.


----------



## theotherone

like i have a black heart, in a faded soul. ugh.

wheres my pills at yo lol


----------



## neckbeard

For once I feel well rested after an 8-hours sleep


----------



## Orbiter

Suicidal.


----------



## Strategist

Kevin001 said:


> I'm pretty confused about life at the moment.





Crisigv said:


> I feel awful





KyleInSTL said:


> I'm throwing a pity party. I'm the guest of honor, but I didn't invite anyone else. In the end, having someone's sympathy is worthless...it just doesn't change the outcome...that what I want, I won't get. It's not always a matter of how hard you work or how much you love.





Orbiter said:


> Suicidal.


I feel the same ways. My heart has been hurting for days maybe weeks and it's just getting worse. Not sure how much more I can take.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

fine... but tired after dinner.... it was a bit too much LOL. and i have excersises to do but i feel to lazy too ! Naughty.. i WILL get up off my round and toned as* tho


----------



## Kevin001

Great. said:


> I feel the same ways. My heart has been hurting for days maybe weeks and it's just getting worse. Not sure how much more I can take.


:hug


----------



## JustALonelyHeart

I feel like...I'm not even standing on my own two feet anymore.I'm just crawling and I wanna go to a dark corner, cry to myself in silence, I wanna see nobody and let nobody see me.I just want to stop feeling like this but these feelings won't go away.I'm mad at the world and I'm mad at myself.My head is a mess and my heart is in pieces.I feel lost.


----------



## caelle

I'm feeling like I'm glad I have alcohol


----------



## PandaBearx

Out of sorts


----------



## KILOBRAVO

well i feel fine. being told i was ''adorable'' the other day helps a bit and the fact i was also told i had a nice as* LOL  dont hear that everyday

but i had a nice time outdoors today and it was bright and clear and refreshing...


----------



## thomasjune

Is gonna be a short work week. I feel good.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Charmeleon

I'm barely holding on.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Non anxious, awake tired.


----------



## LostinReverie

nomi said:


> I'm feeling like I'm glad I have alcohol


Silver-lining: FOUND.

Very nice.


----------



## McFly

RadnessaurousRex said:


> I'm barely holding on.


Hang in there dude, you're a funny guy and add a lot to this place.


----------



## rmb1990

So so so so so so very lonely.


----------



## CristianNC

Pretty down and depressed.


----------



## Kevin001

Exhausted and defeated.


----------



## Xenacat

KyleInSTL said:


> I'm throwing a pity party. I'm the guest of honor, but I didn't invite anyone else. In the end, having someone's sympathy is worthless...it just doesn't change the outcome...that what I want, I won't get. It's not always a matter of how hard you work or how much you love.


Wish you were close so I could give you a hug. :hug


----------



## tea111red

eh. depressed.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Like a fart trapped in a freshly shaved buttcrack.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

slightly nauseated. there's a slight twinge in my chest. i feel very sad, but not outwardly in a physical sense... yet. i feel like i'm approaching a mental breakdown.


----------



## SofaKing

WillYouStopDave said:


> Like a fart trapped in a freshly shaved buttcrack.


You are a master of simile.


----------



## Kevin001

Very nervous about my group session in an hr. :afr


----------



## Andras96

I'm sick of being a nuisance to people, I'm sick of wanting just one friend so much when it's so, so pointless.


----------



## neckbeard

Disappointed


----------



## Andras96

I'm just a ****ing weirdo. That's all there is to it, I suppose


----------



## Crisigv

What does it matter how I am feeling, no one cares.


----------



## LemonBones

Isolated as always.


----------



## JDsays

I'm feeling groovy but super tired cause I didn't sleep much last night.


----------



## Andras96

I'm wasting my time here, I'm wasting time even attempting to be liked when it's all, so freakin' pointless. I foolishly thought people here would actually care... It doesn't matter the scenario. When it comes to me, it just doesn't and will never matter. No one on the outside cares. I'm going back to sleeping for days on end like before.


----------



## tea111red

still depressed. yep.


----------



## tea111red

i feel a lot of hatred for myself and like i have little value. feeling this way, i can see myself slipping back towards having suicidal thoughts.


----------



## David Morgan

semi-motivated to conquer this day


----------



## hellollama

Just woke up and throat is still sore.... blah!! The dog is making cute snoring sounds, which makes me happy.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I'm scared and panicked. I know I need to make a decision, but I keep putting it off. I'm hoping if I avoid it long enough, it won't matter anymore. I hate my life.


----------



## Telliblah

pretty nauseous
and also cold


----------



## Charmander

Lazy. I keep putting off this essay. D:


----------



## tea111red

I feel really horrible about myself and am having a hard time getting these thoughts/feeling to go away.


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> I'm scared and panicked. I know I need to make a decision, but I keep putting it off. I'm hoping if I avoid it long enough, it won't matter anymore. I hate my life.


I can definitely relate to this.


----------



## Consider

Alone.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired/lazy and mildly hungover


----------



## Crisigv

I feel sick.


----------



## Kevin001

Kinda bad. I feel like my SA/Agoraphobia is rubbing off on my little sister. I hope I'm wrong.


----------



## neckbeard

Dumb.


----------



## RiversBetweenUs

I wish I had a mother who didn't take everything so personally.


----------



## SofaKing

RiversBetweenUs said:


> I wish I had a mother who didn't take everything so personally.


Hmmm....not sure they exist. It's all a matter of degree of reaction.


----------



## Depo

So-so, I feel like my new bf is not giving me the attention I need, but I can't blame him, it's the end of his semester and he's busy. Then he's going to spend the next month with his family (who lives in another city.) So I'm going to be alone, which kinda sucks. That's why I feel tempted to meet other men, but I don't know if that would be considered cheating (they would probably try to do things to me lol.) I need men's attention in order to feel accepted, which is ridiculous, but I can't help it. I've only cheated once (I was very drunk that night, but there was no sex and I confessed it to my then bf and he forgave me) and I wouldn't do it ever again. It's too much pain.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

Depo said:


> So-so, I feel like my new bf is not giving me the attention I need, but I can't blame him, it's the end of his semester and he's busy. Then he's going to spend the next month with his family (who lives in another city.) So I'm going to be alone, which kinda sucks. That's why I feel tempted to meet other men, but I don't know if that would be considered cheating (they would probably try to do things to me lol.) I need men's attention in order to feel accepted, which is ridiculous, but I can't help it. I've only cheated once (I was very drunk that night, but there was no sex and I confessed it to my then bf and he forgave me) and I wouldn't do it ever again. It's too much pain.


It's the end of my semester as well. I study for 10+ hours everyday. There are definetly people I feel I should have given more attention to as well, but, yes, please do not blame us for this. Do not cheat on him because he is trying his best to study extra those 20 days to make his (and yours) future potentially brighter.

I am giving it my all now to make mine, my future wifes, and my future kids an easier life.


----------



## Depo

Demon Soul said:


> It's the end of my semester as well. I study for 10+ hours everyday. There are definetly people I feel I should have given more attention to as well, but, yes, please do not blame us for this. Do not cheat on him because he is trying his best to study extra those 20 days to make his (and yours) future potentially brighter.
> 
> I am giving it my all now to make mine, my future wifes, and my future kids an easier life.


Thanks for replying.... it's just that it's very hard for me. I went through all of that, and my bf is your age, but I'm not, I have my degree and I know how much it cost me. I know I should be understanding but sometimes I feel he's become distant, but I know men act that way, they tend to focus more on work/study and when they are under pressure, relationships seem to be the last thing they seem to focus on.

It's just SA playing games on me, which are untrue. It's not easy talking to someone online on a daily basis and then suddenly it all stops. I chose him because I hadn't met someone like him before. I'm not the kind of girl that bothers him or asks him what he's doing. I just wanna know that everything is alright. I shouldn't write more about this, I had many drinks today and I've been also acting distant (but loving) towards him, but I don't know if it has bothered him. Relationships are so complicated.... I hadn't dated someone since I was 24, so this whole game still seems confusing and overwhelming. :sigh


----------



## Xarin

dysphoric


----------



## UnusualSuspect




----------



## Surly Wurly

when i flex, sh1t gets rekt


----------



## shelbster18

Ecstatic that I don't get to see my family again for another holiday. I want to see my mother but other than that, I'm not wasting my money on gas to ride an hour to go there knowing that my dad and everyone else is going to give me mean looks. They're a bunch of snobby, successful people that only care when I do something that pleases them. I need that money for my own damn self. I know they wouldn't care whether I go or not except my mom.


----------



## JustThisGuy

shelbster18 said:


> Ecstatic that I don't get to see my family again for another holiday. I want to see my mother but other than that, I'm not wasting my money on gas to ride an hour to go there knowing that my dad and everyone else is going to give me mean looks. They're a bunch of snobby, successful people that only care when I do something that pleases them. I need that money for my own damn self. I know they wouldn't care whether I go or not except my mom.


Lucky you. I'm hoping Thanksgiving goes well, but I have a feeling it'll be an avalanche of people bugging/judging. Idk. Mom and Dad, brother's family (4), and my sister's family (5). And me, smack dab in the middle.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sick and tired.


----------



## RiversBetweenUs

I'm drained. I would love nothing more than for this day to end.

Sent from my Z665C using Tapatalk


----------



## Strategist

I feel strangely good today despite my car not starting earlier. Maybe it's the snow that did it. I really like snow. Sitting in a freezing car for an hour isn't as bad during a fresh snow. Also one of my clients gave me pie.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Physically tense, mentally annoyed, & slightly restless


----------



## Noca

Not bad, pretty good mood wise. Wish I had the energy to workout, kinda stiff and need to move.


----------



## i suck at life

gassy


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely, ugly and hated


----------



## TenYears

Really, really low. I need to distract. I need to put on a movie. Or. Something. I'm not in a good place..


----------



## Charmeleon




----------



## farfegnugen

exhausted


----------



## shelbster18

JustThisGuy said:


> Lucky you. I'm hoping Thanksgiving goes well, but I have a feeling it'll be an avalanche of people bugging/judging. Idk. Mom and Dad, brother's family (4), and my sister's family (5). And me, smack dab in the middle.


Hope it went well. How did it go?


----------



## JustThisGuy

shelbster18 said:


> Hope it went well. How did it go?


Little hectic, but no judgey questions or remarks. Just minor talk. Then everyone left after stuffing themselves stupid. Pretty good. B+

You? How was your Thanksgiving? :/


----------



## Surly Wurly

There's definitely something up with me

Feeling all agitated yesterday and just generally irritable

Woke up this morning and I'm thinking about the dreams I had last night. I was in a hotel and a man threatened me at gunpoint saying that I had to steal some things for him. I explained that I have mental health problems and while giving me the items I had to steal he said that's ok there's a medical room here. So he opened up this cupboard and started helping himself to boxes and boxes of Valium and said here take these. Throughout the whole of the dream I kept lapsing back to my bedroom where a small insect which had crawled out of a bag of apples I bought had grown and grown into some kind of enormous lizard, about 4 foot long which just sat clinging to my ceiling. Everyone that came in my room kind of ignored it as if it was generally understood that since it never really moved around much it must not be dangerous. So I've spent most of the night wondering if it's safe to sleep with a big lizard in my room and also if I really stole boxes of diazepam or not. I also kept thinking about how the lizard must be quite heavy and it was really strange that It was able to cling to my ceiling without the plaster getting ripped off

Ok I better get up now and try to make sense of my life, i feel so crap


----------



## Vein

Maybe bitter, jealous and resentful, though I can't really describe it.


----------



## wyatt0487

I'm feeling much better. I have the night off work and thanksgiving was very amusing. I wish I would get in contact with my mom. Just to check in on her. She's been having a lot of drama in her life and there's nothing I can do fix it and I'm feeling bad last night cause I ignored her but this morning I'm feeling a lot better.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TruthAndOtherDisasters

I feel tired, stuck and restless with a pinch of hope of turning things around.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm tired, I'm miserable and in a bit of pain.


----------



## RiversBetweenUs

Indifferent.


----------



## Spindrift

Restless. There's everything and yet nothing to do.


----------



## Depo

Awful, I had a job interview today and I did my best, but the person that was asking me questions was very wary about me, because my past jobs have never lasted more than 6 months. I told him I had to move to another state the first time I quit and the second time I quit was because I was about to start a postgraduate edutacion (everything is true), but it wasn't my vocation and that was the reason I'm currently unemployed. He gave me some tests and an online test, a huge psychometric one, one that involved math, and they gave me just 2 minutes for that part, which I obviously couldn't finish. And during the interview he told me that people prefered older MDs. 

I'm feeling so insecure right now, I started drinking again then I started crying, I wanted to talk about this things with my bf, but he's 6 years younger than me, so I don't want to bother him (he's studying.) I feel so alone right now, I've had so many failures and bad decisions in the past. Even if I get the job I'd have to attract my own "clientele" (I'm a MD), which I've done before, but now I'm not so sure if I could. Then I would probably use that money in order to buy controlled drugs and booze. I just don't know what's wrong with me, if I could turn back time and choose another career, like vet, at least pets are not a huge issue. :sigh


----------



## Kevin001

Not so good. I overate again today and I'm pretty depressed.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mild bourbon buzz


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious
Sad
Moody
Lonely


----------



## rdrr

like i am wasting time


----------



## tea111red

Lonely.


----------



## Kevin001

Sick. I woke up with a headache and my stomach is killing me.


----------



## JohnDoe26

Bored, and hungry.

The pizza that I had was just bland.


----------



## Crisigv

Still tired after a good sleep.


----------



## Surly Wurly

well, tonight was difficult. so fed up with my stupid brain. such a mess.


----------



## Cavale00

To be honest, finding a place where i can learn about other people stories makes me feel better. I feel good


----------



## JustALonelyHeart

I was suffering all day because of a ***** who is not even worthy of my time and energy, then I watched Avatar and the movie numbed my pain...for how long, I don't ****ing know.I don't even wanna know.I just know I wanna be here on this forum, posting, and with my cats sleeping on my bed, beside me, and with darkness of the night surrounding me.And I sound pitifull.**** it.I hate being pathetic and insecure and whiny.I can't help it sometimes.


----------



## stewartmays1

not to bad today i must admit but for how long tho


----------



## Ominous Indeed

My whole body hurts..


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel like I'm losing myself, I don't want to continue to be mired in resentment and bitterness.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, just plain sad.


----------



## AffinityWing

Quite lighthearted. It's really surprising considering I've spent my entire break feeling horrible so far. Watching one of my favorite series again must've helped, but hopefully it's not just a passing mood shift again.


----------



## shelbster18

JustThisGuy said:


> Little hectic, but no judgey questions or remarks. Just minor talk. Then everyone left after stuffing themselves stupid. Pretty good. B+
> 
> You? How was your Thanksgiving? :/


That's not too shabby. Glad it worked out well!

Mine was rather unfulfilled. But I texted my mom and told her there's always next year. My mom seemed a little disappointed that I couldn't come. The only way I could go is if I payed gas money to get a ride there. I figured It wasn't worth it.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## Depo

Happy! I had a date with my bf today and I really enjoyed myself. Now I'm trying to cling to that feeling before I slip into my usual "I hate my life, I wanna die, I wanna get drunk" stated of mind, lol.


----------



## JustThisGuy

shelbster18 said:


> That's not too shabby. Glad it worked out well!
> 
> Mine was rather unfulfilled. But I texted my mom and told her there's always next year. My mom seemed a little disappointed that I couldn't come. The only way I could go is if I payed gas money to get a ride there. I figured It wasn't worth it.


I'm sorry. We all of us have our bad days on days where they're supposed be special. Holidays, b-days, anniversaries... There's still X-Mas and New Years.


----------



## tea111red

Pretty unmotivated. And bored.


----------



## ChairmanWow

I feel like **** its 3 am and im still up


----------



## tea111red

ChairmanWow said:


> I feel like **** its 3 am and im still up


maybe you should head down to ihop (or some place like it that's open 24/7).


----------



## ChairmanWow

tea111red said:


> maybe you should head down to ihop (or some place like it that's open 24/7).


Good thinking. I'm about 15 hrs away from Miami. I could drive there


----------



## TenYears

Ffs, man.


Ffs.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Pretty down, confused, tired, sleep being elusive. I'm hoping tommorow is better


----------



## NerdlySquared

Callsign said:


> I feel like a shopping bag in the wind, which we get for free by the way.


Try to fly majestically, it's all we can do sometimes


----------



## NerdlySquared

ChairmanWow said:


> I feel like **** its 3 am and im still up


Sharing that sentiment


----------



## NerdlySquared

Canadian Brotha said:


> Exhausted


Rest man you've earned it


----------



## NerdlySquared

Crisigv said:


> Sad, just plain sad.


Hug


----------



## NerdlySquared

SamanthaStrange said:


> I feel like I'm losing myself, I don't want to continue to be mired in resentment and bitterness.


First step of that is realising that you are, now you can actually push further  I wish you the very best of luck  Don't give up


----------



## TenYears

I keep finding myself, saying the same things to myself, over and over. Like I would to one of my daughters that was getting involved with a guy she really didn't need to be involved with. I hope you're OK, and I'm here if you need me.


Smh


----------



## Canadian Brotha

In need of more sleep


----------



## Surly Wurly

omg this changes EVERYTHING










I CANT BELIEB THEY MADE HIS HANDS BIGGER


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry


----------



## Kevin001

Very anxious, thinking about all the stuff I have to do tomorrow.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like I am always bothering people. I feel like I am always a burden. No one wants me around, I'm nothing. I'm not worth loving.


----------



## LostinReverie

Used. Spit out. Rejected.

Jerk. *******. Friend.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Sad, very sad, pretty lost tonight


----------



## NerdlySquared

LostInReverie said:


> Used. Spit out. Rejected.
> 
> Jerk. *******. Friend.


That sucks and sucks and sucks more, I'm sorry Libby :crying:


----------



## NerdlySquared

Crisigv said:


> I feel like I am always bothering people. I feel like I am always a burden. No one wants me around, I'm nothing. I'm not worth loving.


I'm sure that's not true, but it's really tough to avoid that feeling sometimes, I know, because I can't avoid it today either. :hug
I hope tommorow is better.


----------



## LostinReverie

NerdlySquared said:


> That sucks and sucks and sucks more, I'm sorry Libby :crying:


HOW LONG.

How long have you been leading me here? How long have you been luring me, speaking quietly to me, calling me here?

When did it all begin? Day 1?? Dancing along, dropping crumbs, when did you plan this? When did you decide? When did I stop listening? When did I look up?

Where was the fork? Where did you split off from me? Where did I lose you? Where did your footsteps disappear to? Where did I get so lost.

I couldn't see you. I thought I heard you. I thought you were there with me, all along. I thought I could still feel you holding onto me. When did you let go? When did I let you?

Deep. Overwhelming. Betrayal.


----------



## slyfox

Tired. Not looking forward today. Guess I'll try to take a 2 hour nap first


----------



## DiscardYourFear

LostInReverie said:


> HOW LONG.
> 
> How long have you been leading me here? How long have you been lurring me, speaking quietly to me, calling me here?
> 
> When did it all begin? Day 1?? Dancing along, dropping crumbs, when did you plan this? When did you decide? When did I stop listening? When did I look up?
> 
> Where was the fork? Where did you split off from me? Where did I lose you? Where did you footsteps disappear to? Where did I get so lost.
> 
> I couldn't see you. I thought I heard you. I thought you were there with me, all along. I thought I could still feel you holding onto me. When did you let go? When did I let you?
> 
> Deep. Overwhelming. Betrayal.


I'm so sorry for your pain. If it's any consolation, you are a beautiful poet when you are hurting. :squeeze


----------



## CouldYouJust

Not good. Extremely anxious to the point that I want to cry. And the reason's pretty pathetic.


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad. This is the best I've felt in awhile. I hope this "high" lasts.


----------



## NerdlySquared

LostInReverie said:


> HOW LONG.
> 
> How long have you been leading me here? How long have you been lurring me, speaking quietly to me, calling me here?
> 
> When did it all begin? Day 1?? Dancing along, dropping crumbs, when did you plan this? When did you decide? When did I stop listening? When did I look up?
> 
> Where was the fork? Where did you split off from me? Where did I lose you? Where did you footsteps disappear to? Where did I get so lost.
> 
> I couldn't see you. I thought I heard you. I thought you were there with me, all along. I thought I could still feel you holding onto me. When did you let go? When did I let you?
> 
> Deep. Overwhelming. Betrayal.


I'm so sorry you are going through this  Its not fair, I hope when the shock and pain fades you will be stronger for it  Even if that seems like the farthest thing from your mind now. You express yourself amazingly well, even carrying so much pain. I hope each day makes it a little easier. :hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious
Sad
Lonely
Restless


----------



## Blue2015

I'm feeling pretty good .


----------



## TenYears

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious
> Sad
> Lonely
> Restless


 :hug


----------



## uziq

i had a really pleasant dream last night, and it's left an afterglow

i feel okay for the first time in a while


----------



## DiscardYourFear

Ugly.


----------



## ChairmanWow

better i woke up before noon


----------



## NerdlySquared

Lost


----------



## Crisigv

I feel so fat and ugly.


----------



## RiversBetweenUs

Melancholic.

Can't wait to go back to work so I'll be too preoccupied to feel this way. 

Sent from my Z665C using Tapatalk


----------



## DiscardYourFear

LostInReverie said:


> Used. Spit out. Rejected.
> 
> Jerk. *******. Friend.





SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious
> Sad
> Lonely
> Restless


Neither one of you should feel this way. 
Both of you deserve better, to be loved.


----------



## UnusualSuspect

Better again 
Yay!


----------



## TenYears

Really, really pissed off at someone. Karma can be a ***** and I wonder, oh man....if this person gets a dose of that it's going to be just really ugly, it's really going to knock them on their butt. I have zero, zero sympathy for them right now. They need to stop. If they have a conscience, at all, they really need to just stop.


/rant


----------



## SamanthaStrange

DiscardYourFear said:


> Neither one of you should feel this way.
> Both of you deserve better, to be loved.


Thank you.


----------



## Andras96

I miss having little to no care... I miss having silenced feelings, and I miss not having so much pent up anger. Being on medication wasn't perfect, but it's better than the only other option.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel another headache coming on. And I'm not as tired as I should be, considering I have to work in the morning. I need to stop waking up late.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Feeling exhausted, but somehow a little stronger too, tommorow will be a better day, I will make it better


----------



## TryingMara

Unsettled


----------



## LostinReverie

DiscardYourFear said:


> I'm so sorry for your pain. If it's any consolation, you are a beautiful poet when you are hurting. :squeeze


Thank you, that was consolation.  It means a lot.



NerdlySquared said:


> I'm so sorry you are going through this  Its not fair, I hope when the shock and pain fades you will be stronger for it  Even if that seems like the farthest thing from your mind now. You express yourself amazingly well, even carrying so much pain. I hope each day makes it a little easier. :hug


Thanks, friend. I have been feeling much better today. I'm sorry I sort of exploded on you. It was difficult to keep that in and so I jumped at the outlet. Please stay sweet. Please PM me if you want to talk. We can figure out something else, too, if you want.


----------



## Kevin001

Just really confused about life in general. Like where do I go from here?


----------



## Akuba

I'm feeling like... meh


----------



## Crisigv

Another craptastic day. I feel like garbage, inside and out. I should just dispose of myself.


----------



## meandernorth

Crisigv said:


> I should just dispose of myself.


Please don't. I'm sorry you had a rough day.


----------



## Crisigv

shorefog said:


> Please don't. I'm sorry you had a rough day.


Meh, who cares anymore?


----------



## Fever Dream

Crisigv said:


> Meh, who cares anymore?


Sorry things are going bad for you at the moment. Sometimes I feel the same way too.


----------



## Crisigv

Fever Dream said:


> Sorry things are going bad for you at the moment. Sometimes I feel the same way too.


Things are going bad all the time, lol.


----------



## Fever Dream

Crisigv said:


> Things are going bad all the time, lol.


Well, I can't argue with that. Hopefully things improve. Maybe go from being worse to just slightly bad, lol. :hug


----------



## tea111red

unhealthy and ick.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Feel good today, strong and capable, time to roll up sleeves on projects and make things better


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty fine .


----------



## TryingMara

Not great. Exhausted and my whole body aches.


----------



## herk

empowered from what i talked about/learned in therapy, ideas really clicking and coming together for me. relieved of a lot of anxiety before starting my first job tomorrow because of this. hopeful that i can implement the tools i've been practicing. confident that i will try my best to do so.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like there's no salvation in this life or the next


----------



## Akuba

I'm feeling rather uneasy today.

Most of my classmates at HR class are just downright *******s. They don't even acknowledge my presence.


----------



## uziq

i don't care 

about

anything :^___________)


----------



## tea111red

Loneliness is causing me to have so many stressful thoughts and sucking the life out of me once again.


----------



## LostinReverie

tea111red said:


> Loneliness is causing me to have so many stressful thoughts and sucking the life out of me once again.


:frown2: Puppy?










I'm 11 weeks and probably have worms, but cute af. Hold me.


----------



## tea111red

LostInReverie said:


> :frown2: Puppy?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm 11 weeks and probably have worms, but cute af. Hold me.


How precious.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired and my chest hurts.....ugh.


----------



## ThatLoserNoOneCaresAbout

LostInReverie said:


> :frown2: Puppy?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm 11 weeks and probably have worms, but cute af. Hold me.


Awww, what a cute little baby. My puppy is cuter though








:mushy :mushy :mushy :love2 :love2


----------



## TenYears

LostInReverie said:


> :frown2: Puppy?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm 11 weeks and probably have worms, but cute af. Hold me.


Awesome  Nothing like unconditional love from a doggie like that. Wish I had one but when I'm at work I'd just be gone for too long.


----------



## uziq

anxious because i actually have to get up in the morning for a doctor's appointment and also because i have my cousins coming over and they're bringing their ASSOCIATES and it's making me nervous because i'm going to a concert with all of them

prepared for a night of no sleep and making myself look like a fool in front of them as i tend to do


----------



## GatitaFierrra

Agoraphobic? Maybe. Sleepless.


----------



## LostinReverie

TenYears said:


> Awesome  Nothing like unconditional love from a doggie like that. Wish I had one but when I'm at work I'd just be gone for too long.


He's a sweetheart, no doubt (fast forward 7 years later). I very much admire not getting a dog due to work reasons, unless you have the money for daycare or walker. Dogs are pack animals and cannot be left alone during the day for long periods. Especially for puppies, kennels aren't dog sitters! Don't cage your dog!

On the flip side, cats do very well independently. However, domestic cats do not come from pack felines like lions! If you have more than one, you will most likely be dealing with territory issues for many years to come. This is especially apparent with litterbox etiquette. If you do want 2+ cats, get littermates or two kittens around the same age and get them young (12-14 weeks).

Be prepared to take off work for 1-2 weeks beforehand to help get them acclimated. Cats need to be vet cleared, dewormed, and vaccinated before introducing them to each other or former cats in the home. Best way to accomplish this is to adopt from a well-funded shelter that will take care of all these for you, including neuters and chipping. Purchase good quality kitten food, preferably wet, monitor eating, water consumption, and litterbox contents closely. Always consult a vet for diarrhea, vomiting, bloating.

2 cats need 3 litterboxes, 3 cats need 4, 4 cats need at least 5 (see where I'm going with this?). Keep boxes at different ends of the house. Can very slowly inch them closer together over a period of weeks, but always keep at least at separate ends of a room. Kittens have very small bladders, so part of good litterbox training is reminding them where their boxes are and keeping them in locations that are easy to access. Don't feed close to litterboxes, as cats naturally do not eat in the same place they ****.

Sorry. That was ****ing long.


----------



## Boby89

Feeling worse then usual, this gonna be a long and ugly day.


----------



## tea111red

tormented.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel horrible. I've become utterly aware of just how f***ed up I am. I am dysfunctional, spiteful, passive-aggressive, and selfish. Last night I crossed over into borderline psychosis, and I wouldn't even be alive right now had I not been talked down by a very good friend. I don't know who I am anymore, I am emotionally overwhelmed, and I don't know how to recover. I have hurt and betrayed anyone who gets in the way of my quest to obtain something that will never be mine. I am sorry for everything I've done, but it's all been said before, I deserve whatever happens next.


----------



## Kevin001

SamanthaStrange said:


> I feel horrible. I've become utterly aware of just how f***ed up I am. I am dysfunctional, spiteful, passive-aggressive, and selfish. Last night I crossed over into borderline psychosis, and I wouldn't even be alive right now had I not been talked down by a very good friend. I don't know who I am anymore, I am emotionally overwhelmed, and I don't know how to recover. I have hurt and betrayed anyone who gets in the way of my quest to obtain something that will never be mine. I am sorry for everything I've done, but it's all been said before, I deserve whatever happens next.


Awe, I hate seeing others struggle. You deserve the best, hang in there. :hug


----------



## Telliblah

like a slug crawled up my nose


----------



## Crisigv

I'm so confused. And sad. I feel so left out, no one tells me anything. I feel hurt.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Kevin001 said:


> Awe, I hate seeing others struggle. You deserve the best, hang in there. :hug


I appreciate the thought, and thank you, but no I don't deserve the best. Believe me.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

Crisigv said:


> I'm so confused. And sad. I feel so left out, no one tells me anything. I feel hurt.


 family ? i sometimes know how that feels, but i dont care much anymore, its not worth it.

as for me. i feel a bit bored, but otherwise nothing is bad,.so i probably shouldn't complain.


----------



## Crisigv

KILOBRAVO said:


> family ? i sometimes know how that feels, but i dont care much anymore, its not worth it.
> 
> as for me. i feel a bit bored, but otherwise nothing is bad,.so i probably shouldn't complain.


No, not always


----------



## JustALonelyHeart

I feel...like it's no use being nice, being good, being honest, or myself in this world.I feel how I'm fading, slowly, how I don't matter anymore, I don't know how much sense it makes but I don't even feel alive anymore.Like I'm watching people around me who're finding happiness, and I'm here, alone, as if this, my life, would be just a movie and I'd stay in watching this movie while everyone else is living the real life.
I've cried these days more than I ever did.I never felt worse in my life.Never felt less significant, never felt less small, never felt less...I don't even know how to say it.
There used to be a time when I helped people and didn't expect anything in return.
I still do good and expect nothing in return.Like, if I help an old lady cross the street, if I give a hug to someone who needs it, or an advice, it's enough for me to know that person is living their lives well, and not wasting it.That they also do good things for someone else.
I guess I just want, for once in my life, to be helped, by someone who genuinely helps people.I want to come first to someone.I want to feel love and happiness.And everyone around me has it and I'm just...alone.I hate this feeling so much.


----------



## Akuba

Slightly better than yesterday


----------



## LostinReverie

Responsible.


----------



## ChairmanWow

*sleep deprived*

I feel tired as ****. I've gotten 4 hours of sleep and I've been up since 4 am. I am just doing my best to stay out of everyone's way. Hopefully I can't rest tonight and tomorrow is another day.


----------



## TenYears

Used, abused and confused.


But you know, why am I surprised. Why do I really think it would end up any other f-ing way.


----------



## tea111red

I should feel like I have value, but nope, I still feel disposable.


----------



## cosmicslop

finally having the chance to reflect on the past year and assess what the future will bring based on what i've done so far makes me feel hopeful and grateful. for the first time in a long time, i feel like i can believe i can survive out there. i'm having a nice relaxing moment.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel another headache coming on. This one could be because I haven't eaten in a few hours.


----------



## JohnDoe26

Sad. Been crying. Trying to get out of a funk.


----------



## stewartmays1

JohnDoe26 said:


> Sad. Been crying. Trying to get out of a funk.


same here


----------



## JohnDoe26

stewartmays1 said:


> same here


Cheers


----------



## Shawn81

Emotionally cold.


----------



## TenYears

I don't even know how to feel about this....


I just found out my mom is now on Suboxone. It's a very, very powerful pain killer given to people that are trying to overcome addiction to pain killers. It is NOT meant to be prescribed for people who are trying to manage pain. But, apparently, now they are.


This is in addition to the Oxy that she's taking, and the Vicodin, and the "lollipops" she takes, that are really only supposed to be FDA approved for cancer patients that are in their last stages of therapy, and are dying, and it's in addition to the Xanex bars she pops twice a day. My dad has told me before that if he, or I was to take 1/10 of the pain meds she takes in one day, it would kill us. But he keeps doctor shopping for her. I swear to God man this has to be illegal, it has to be. No one, NO ONE can be on this many painkillers at one time, legally.

She also has a "pain pump" that was surgically implanted.

The Suboxone, alone, when prescribed as a painkiller, is hundreds of dollars PER PILL.


She is in a wheelchair, and she is in pain, I understand all that. But she's let it get out of control, and he's enabling her to the point where she's taking so many drugs it's going to shut down her liver or her pancreas. It's going to happen.


And he doesn't even realize that he's helping her to kill herself.


----------



## Shawn81

Hopeless.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

In need of darkness, someone put the sun out


----------



## Shawn81

Down.


----------



## anxious87

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


----------



## rdrr

hungary


----------



## Boby89

A combo of depression+boredom+laziness.


----------



## Cletis

Awful. My mother passed away November 24th. I feel terrible.


----------



## tea111red

Sick and stressed out.


----------



## TenYears

A bit stressed. I just dropped my daughter off at the hs for band tonight, in the Christmas parade. Now I have almost three hours to kill. In my ex-wifes hometown. There are about a couple dozen people I really do not want to run into here, it would just be really awkward. I'm at Sonic right now, just ordered a limeade, so I can sit here in my car for a while lol. Getting divorced really sucks kids.

Sent from my HTC_Amaze_4G


----------



## TenYears

This sucks man


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling down and just so drained.


----------



## TenYears

Just really, really anxious. My daughter is about to march with band in this Christmas parade. The main street is shut down and sidewalks on both sides are just FILLED with people, for miles. I'm in my f-ing car. I'm gonna go out & watch, take pics of course, but not until it's about to start. I'm the only, the only one that's here by myself, i swear to God. Ffs man. This is like an SAD nightmare.

Sent from my HTC_Amaze_4G


----------



## Kevin001

Kinda bad. I feel like I can be doing more with my life, I need to help people more.


----------



## AffinityWing

Disappointed in myself, I keep setting goals for myself but in the end another day goes by where I haven't accomplished one single thing. I'll probably never get my **** together.


----------



## Smiddy

Super sad.


----------



## Nitrogen

I just ate a bunch of pizza and I feel like a fat disappointment


----------



## Shawn81

Done with everything.


----------



## tea111red

Irritated.


----------



## Charmeleon

I'm boooored! And I should probably take a shower but meh, too lazy


----------



## DiscardYourFear

Funky.


----------



## Andras96

Still too unmotivated to even finish these last few pages. Not really that big of a deal, but still.


----------



## Crisigv

My back is hurting. And I'm bored.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Lazy.


----------



## Pompeii

Feel so sick. Yay, meds. Must stay upright. Things to do. Want a sandwich and to change my surname to Bacon.


----------



## TryingMara

Good


----------



## kesker

Pompeii said:


> Feel so sick. Yay, meds. Must stay upright. Things to do. Want a sandwich and to change my surname to Bacon.


 :squeeze hope you feel better

If your first name were Caitlyn you could potentially be referred to as the Maiden Caitlyn Bacon which would be pretty cool :yes


----------



## slyfox

Overwhelmed and not sure what to do


----------



## Charmeleon

kesker said:


> :squeeze hope you feel better
> 
> If your first name were Caitlyn you could potentially be referred to as the Maiden Caitlyn Bacon which would be pretty cool :yes


Don't forget to add Jenner at the end


----------



## Shawn81

Really down. Wondering how some people are doing.


----------



## umakemebarf

Kind of excited 'cause I just joined this site and I really like it, thanks


----------



## Kevin001

^^ I'm glad you like it here.

I'm kinda on an a high right now, lots of energy nothing to do with it. It must be the caffeine.


----------



## Shawn81

Still down. Waiting to find out how well this new beard conditioner works.


----------



## Crisigv

Cold


----------



## lonerroom

Kind of sad, Fallout 4 is an amazing game but I did just about all there is to do in The Commonwealth and now I can't find anything else to do. The Sims 4 is now unplayable after the December 4th "Update" a couple days ago, and I am not quite ready to leave the house anytime soon after I got harrassed/almost robbed last Sunday night on the bus. I hope you are not sad.


----------



## Shawn81

Crushed. Insignificant. Like I never learn.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bleak


----------



## tea111red

I can't ease my worries and I'm obsessing about stuff.


----------



## tea111red

lonely, depressed, and like i want to go into hiding.


----------



## Shawn81

tea111red said:


> lonely, depressed, and like i want to go into hiding.


No need to think about how to describe how I feel. I can just quote this.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Frustrated. Drawing a full body picture is downright impossible when you've barely had an experience with drawing bodies before. Then again, it's pretty much my fault for just jumping into something like that (I've mostly drawn animals, heads, and upper bodies so far).


----------



## tea111red

Shawn81 said:


> No need to think about how to describe how I feel. I can just quote this.


:hug


----------



## uziq

tired and permanervous


----------



## Shawn81

tea111red said:


> :hug


----------



## Kevin001

Very confused about life right now. I have no idea what is going to happen to me.


----------



## TryingMara

sleepy


----------



## sneeze

I'm conflicted about whether i deserve 'happiness' if i won't bother to make an effort, whether anything is worth it or not. I feel like **** around people.


----------



## SickAndTiredofSA

Kevin001 said:


> Very confused about life right now. I have no idea what is going to happen to me.


same..


----------



## SickAndTiredofSA

Cletis said:


> Awful. My mother passed away November 24th. I feel terrible.


i'm so sorry for your loss!:frown2:


----------



## SickAndTiredofSA

i feel so lost and scared..


----------



## Shawn81

Down. Depressed. Alone. Etc.


----------



## Cletis

SickAndTiredofSA said:


> i'm so sorry for your loss!:frown2:


Thank you.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling a bit confused


----------



## odetoanoddity

Yeah, not good. Quite mad at the moment. I need to calm down.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Shawn81

I hate everything right now, starting with myself.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

unworthy


----------



## copper

My arthritis is going to be bad today. My knees are already starting to hurt. Stupid weather change. A few days ago the NWS said no rain or snow all week. Now starting tomorrow for the rest of the week it is in the forecast.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Bored :yawn


----------



## Depo

Groggy, those benzos knocked me out. I slept for almost 15 hours. I usually sleep 11, but this time I had my breakfast in my bedroom, after that I went to sleep again. Well, at least it was 15 hours out of this horrible and miserable life. :laugh: Now back to reality. :serious:


----------



## uziq

like i'm screwing everything up


----------



## Surly Wurly

aw hell yeah i just remembered i got cereal


----------



## Charmeleon

Surly Wurly said:


> aw hell yeah i just remembered i got cereal


thanks for reminding me I have cereal, i was wondering what I should eat. peanut butter captain crunch for dinner woooo!!!


----------



## Surly Wurly

RadnessaurousRex said:


> thanks for reminding me I have cereal, i was wondering what I should eat. peanut butter captain crunch for dinner woooo!!!


im gonna have me some rice crispies man, rock it


----------



## Charmeleon

Surly Wurly said:


> im gonna have me some rice crispies man, rock it


fo sho, btw would totally trade you cereals but im all the way in murica


----------



## SilkyJay

I feel ok, but terrible at the same time. I'm terrified of abandonment so I sabotage or push everyone away in a desperate way of saying I want you in my life. I hate, hate this about myself. I feel so wronged by so many people but then I am a terrible person to many. or maybe i'm not, but I sure do have a lot of self hate. a lot of mistakes in the years past where I get to thinking, that's not me!

Also I should be asleep and have a apt with my new counselor here in a few hours at 11. not looking forward to rehashing everything and making my points. I'm just a ****ty ****ing person, I really am. why else am I treated this way by everyone I've cared about.


----------



## Grushenka

tired but happy


----------



## TryingMara

Immature, inexperienced, insignificant.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## JohnDoe26

Walking a tightrope. It's a fine balancing act trying not to let people's staring get to you but still remain a loving, caring and empathetic person towards humanity.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed, hungry, tense physically


----------



## Cherrycarmine

I'm not really sure how I feel today, honestly.


----------



## uziq

dead


----------



## tea111red

yeck. i just looked in the mirror.


----------



## TryingMara

Overwhelmed.


----------



## SvanThorXx

A little bit unstable. I didn't take any of my meds today so I've been separating myself from other people all day.


----------



## jstne

miserable.


----------



## uziq

incompetent


----------



## Crisigv

my whole body hurts


----------



## Acid Rain

Crepuscular.


----------



## Still Waters

Satisfied and content -this state of mind might not last long,but I'm relishing it while it's here!! I bought a small pre-lit Christmas tree,some garland that looks like lovely tree boughs with a bit of silver and pine cones(draped across the top of my desk at present) -also a few other small Christsmasy items! It's very calming to be sipping coffee from my favorite mug-lights off except for the twinkling lights from my little tree and some cinnamon candles here and there.


----------



## Kevin001

Miserable, I'm slowly fading away. I just wish this nightmare would hurry up and end already.


----------



## anxious87

Queasy


----------



## SilkyJay

GoOfy


----------



## tea111red

I feel motivated, but it's still early in the day so I'll have to see how long this lasts.


----------



## AussiePea

Well this snuck up on me, now only 24 hours before my next overseas trip. I do enjoy tests though, much less stress than a race weekend.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Tired :yawn


----------



## uziq

like shiiiiiiiiit


----------



## Empress_D

Unwanted


----------



## TenYears

She's drunk. Or stoned. I can't tell which. And she's texting me about my daughter, and I don't like talking to her when she's in this state of mind because I just don't know where her head is at.


----------



## uziq

uziq said:


> like shiiiiiiiiit


30 minutes later and i'm feeling even more like ****, today is going swell


----------



## Depo

Tipsy.... I had 2 job interviews today, but could only make it to one. I had to lie so much this time after been unemployed for 9 months, I feel confused and ashamed. I started drinking. a few hours ago... I think my bf is hiding something from me. He told me he had to go to another city (after going to another one just 2 weeks ago) tomorrow, he's just an student. I can't get why he has to go to so many cities. Yesterday he told me he didn't get the message ordering him to go to this city he was supposed to go to and after that he became kinda distant in our last skype conversation. 

His skype status always says he's away (it could be an internet error, I'm aware of that, but sometimes he's offline, it's so weird.) I haven't asked him why he has to go there and I will. This morning his last online activity on whatsapp was at 3:06 am and we said good night at 11 pm, whom could he be talking to? I feel so paranoid, my head is full of questions. I don't trust men that easily and this is driving me nuts along with all this job issue. I thought having some drinks would ease my paranoia, but it's not helping at all.

I swear if he's doing something naughty I will get my revenge. I hate man who are cheaters!


----------



## TenYears

She's the dryer sheets of my heart.


She's the lint sheets of my soul.


Only true believers will understand what I mean.


*sigh*


----------



## Surly Wurly

i feel like an elephant that had 8 trunks so my head looks like a big octopus and im sat between 8 beer factories and i could swig suds outta all of them but im actually pretending to drink 8 cups of tea instead, in reality i have a different tropical fruit jammed up each trunk and it turns out that the brain of this elephant i am is not actually located inside the elephant head, i can tell that is not where my thoughts are located. i'm beginning to think that one of the tropical fruits jammed in one of my trunks is actually the brain. i am closing my eyes and trying to feel where my thoughts are located, it kinda feels like they are in my tummy a bit. ok so i just figured out that i have control over the tip of my trunks, its kinda like a prehensile foreskin...i'm rolling each one back in turn (HNNNG) and looking at the exposed tropical fruit and trying to assess if there is some sense of my intelligence being located within. the first one is a mango and it had a little sign stuck in it that says "i am your brain", but i can tell somehow that i am not thinking in mango. oh the second one turns out to be an onion, i think that must be the one. it all makes so much sense now

we never really attribute much identity to our brains, do we? thats who we are after all...ever look at your girlfriend and boyfriend and think about how they are really just a brain, that their actual identity comes from something that looks just like what your ******* neighbours identity comes from? your girlfriends brain looks a lot like charles mansons brain, which in turn looks a lot like that gangnam style guys brain


----------



## TryingMara

ineffective


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Too sober, restless, bored


----------



## uziq

anxious and defeated. waiting for the benadryl to kick in so I can fall back asleep


----------



## uziq

uziq said:


> anxious and defeated. waiting for the benadryl to kick in so I can fall back asleep


alright benadryl hurry up and become useful damn before I start drinking so I can speed this horse up I want to sleep


----------



## tea111red

All this comparing is stressing me out.


----------



## Shawn81

Stressed about the $615 it's costing to get my truck fixed.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

Depo said:


> His skype status always says he's away (it could be an internet error, I'm aware of that, but sometimes he's offline, it's so weird.) I haven't asked him why he has to go there and I will. This morning his last online activity on whatsapp was at 3:06 am and we said good night at 11 pm, whom could he be talking to? I feel so paranoid, my head is full of questions. I don't trust men that easily and this is driving me nuts along with all this job issue. I thought having some drinks would ease my paranoia, but it's not helping at all.
> 
> I swear if he's doing something naughty I will get my revenge. I hate man who are cheaters!


oh..... i *know* that feeling so so well ... the skype status shenanigans of people of which romantic interest is supposed to exist.. that can really cause anxiety .. that unknown.. I had the same problem with some female for 2.5 years i waited for. ... I never will know how many males she was chatting and chasing while leading me down the garden path, when she was my only skype contact for all those years too., So those statuses are too much of a help to horrible people like that.

so huggies for you.... .Your heart is true and also, so is mine. So we can rest assured. This is what we are learning .

as for me... back on topic. I feel fine . yay.


----------



## tea111red

Shawn81 said:


> Stressed about the $615 it's costing to get my truck fixed.


Ouch.....I've gone through having to fork over a lot of money to get my car fixed this year, too. It sucks!! Thankfully more money came in to make me forget about it some.


----------



## Crisigv

Worried. I didn't get paid as much as I hoped.


----------



## Shawn81

tea111red said:


> Ouch.....I've gone through having to fork over a lot of money to get my car fixed this year, too. It sucks!! Thankfully more money came in to make me forget about it some.


I'm mostly doing it to try and sell it privately. It's actually in great shape, and these issues aren't even mechanical failures or anything. It's not broken down. It runs great. I want to get a new car, but I'm so scared of debt that I can't bring myself to take on car payments. Maybe when I save up a little more. Stop buying so much stuff I don't really need. I'll take it to a larger city soon and see what they'll give me in trade before trying to sell privately, I guess.

I need a winning lottery ticket :mum Or a sugar momma.


----------



## tea111red

Shawn81 said:


> I'm mostly doing it to try and sell it privately. It's actually in great shape, and these issues aren't even mechanical failures or anything. It's not broken down. It runs great. I want to get a new car, but I'm so scared of debt that I can't bring myself to take on car payments. Maybe when I save up a little more. Stop buying so much stuff I don't really need. I'll take it to a larger city soon and see what they'll give me in trade before trying to sell privately, I guess.
> 
> I need a winning lottery ticket :mum Or a sugar momma.


Heh, yeah...I've been so tempted to buy lottery tickets lately. I'd take a sugar daddy, too, lol.


----------



## slyfox

tired


----------



## tea111red

ugh, now i feel like i don't even want to be conscious.


----------



## Depo

Fine! I just found out that my ex was fired from his job at an expensive sport club. And I'm like: Merry Christmas B*tch. :grin2:


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious, restless, bored


----------



## Shawn81

Lonely, bored, anxious, cold.


----------



## speranzalov

I'm feeling disgusting and lonely, to be honest


----------



## CWe

Irritable because i didn't get much sleep Zzzzzzzzz


----------



## uziq

worthless, used, incompetent, don't know what i'm doing with my life


----------



## TryingMara

Although I'm happy the work week is over. I am very nervous about work related matters. I think it's going to be difficult to get my mind off of that.


----------



## darkangelrebekah7

Bored


----------



## zonebox

I'm alive, I get the next three days off, I'm not in pain. Things are pretty good.

Plus I have beer.. Sh&# things are pretty friqqen awesome..


----------



## versikk

Drinking vodka and feeling paradoxically depressed and kinda breezy. what is real life


----------



## Shawn81

Down.


----------



## Ineko

Cedar fever is killing me right now
bummed and lonely as usual


----------



## DiscardYourFear

Dead.


----------



## Kevin001

DiscardYourFear said:


> Dead.


:hug


----------



## versikk

I've been browsing SAS nonstop for like 6 hours.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Buzzed, depressed, lonely, manic


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling lonely, cold and tired.


----------



## Shawn81

Tired of having nothing better to do than sit here refreshing this forum for no reason.


----------



## tea111red

in a rut.


----------



## Spindrift

Inexplicably tired.


----------



## meandernorth

Indecisive


----------



## MCHB

Freaking awesome! Went out to the bar with another classmate to support another classmate that was part of the local band, danced with a hot as *bleep* rocker chick and got cracked up by another chick (she um...caught onto the fact that we were watching her, lol!)

overall anxiety wise, I'm calling it a success! 

*totally not drunk* <_<


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i feel empty. i'm starting to think that i want to quit my medication. i'm not 100% sure on this, but i think they may be having an adverse effect on my cognitive ability. i have so many moments throughout every single day where i'm merely staring into the void, barely noticing the fleeting thoughts making pathetic attempts to enter my conscious mind. fleshing out thoughts takes mental effort, so i don't bother. previously, when my anxiety was severe, unfounded anxiety took the place of these periodic moments where i'm just kind of existing. i'm sort of 'worried' (don't like using that word because it doesn't seem accurate) that quitting my medication might end up in me arriving where i was before; an anxious mess that was getting severely embarrassed multiple times everyday.

i'm thinking of skipping my medication for a couple of days. just to see what happens. see if i improve cognitively, see if my motivation is affected, etc. i'm also curious as to exactly how brain zaps feel. anyway, i'll skip my meds for about 2 days, and no matter what happens, i'll probably start taking the meds at night instead of in the morning. regardless of the results, i'll probably start taking my meds at night afterward. i think it might help with my tiredness and lack of motivation since i'll likely be asleep during its peak times for causing side effects.


----------



## SouthWest

I was somewhat on a high last night (I had my work do) and this morning I feel low and disconnected from people - so back to normal.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry & restless


----------



## Perkins

Old.


----------



## LostinReverie

Angry, frustrated, annoyed


----------



## tea111red

Very bored.


----------



## Crisigv

Cold


----------



## Depo

Bored and numb. I'm meeting my bf today and we won't see one another until january. My mother knows he's coming to the house and she's been acting like a b*tch. As if she didn't spend the night out in order to see her bf every now and then. She even came into my room and left some condoms on my desk, saying she didn't want trouble. And I was like ewww, aren't those the ones she uses when she has sex with his bf? But I didn't say anything, I'll probably put them in one of her drawers later. Anyway, I'm having a drink, it's time to chill out. It's going to be a cold long *** month.


----------



## Shawn81

Down. Like I'm going to continue to rot in my house, alone, forever.


----------



## tea111red

Pretty anxious.


----------



## Charmeleon

sad and stuff


----------



## pinkkawaii

sad :frown2:


----------



## AffinityWing

Don't know what the border between resentment and self-resentment is for me anymore. I'm still a continuous ***-kisser and a naive, constantly apologizing little thing to people who obviously don't want to converse with me anymore, but then try to emotionally manipulate me into lying to me and making up excuses like "Oh, they were busy because of their job" and "had their notifications off" when they obviously have no problems talking as much as they want with their other friends. Doesn't help that everytime I want to express that complaint I know I'll just be guilt-tripped and made into the constantly attention-seeking one that is too attached and possessive. I guess I am. I guess I am..

If it wasn't for knowing I'll be the bad guy for it and they and our mutual friends would lose their ****, I'd block and remove this friend off of my Line and Twitter in light seconds. If I'm really being manipulated like this, this isn't making me comfortable in the slightest because I've had a friend do that before and I don't want to be someone who another can run to only on a blue moon when they remember I exist and then deny all allegations that you can clearly tell they aren't interested in talking to me anymore.

I'm just conflicted and feeling very ugly emotions towards people right now. Yet they're the same ones I suppress to try and use the "It's not you, it's me" tactic towards people. Sometimes I just get sick of being such a coward though and being played into exactly how people want me to react.


----------



## anxious87

Warm


----------



## Crisigv

abandoned, kinda


----------



## Kevin001

Just confused about life. My future and what to do.


----------



## iminnocentenough

Sitting in my bed, on my phone, feeling happy but empty.


----------



## Shawn81

Lonely again.


----------



## uziq

indifferent

i got wasted and forgot about my problems

looking forward to them reemerging when i wake up


----------



## Still Waters

Guilty!! I've spent too much money lately on Christmasy related things -and there's still more to come! I try to be careful but EVERYTHING is just so crazy expensive.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

like inadequate trash as per usual


----------



## unemployment simulator

that feel where you make yourself look like a totally dumb and/or inept idiot.


----------



## LostinReverie

Hungry, annoyed, stupid


----------



## uziq

tired, anxious


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Inspired


----------



## tea111red

ugh


----------



## Findedeux

There is a midget in my brain playing with his new drum set.


----------



## tea111red

aaahhhhhhhhhhjuyvfjkj!!!!!!! i'm losing my mind!!!!!!!!


----------



## zonebox

Frustrated, I live in a city of 100,000 people and there is not one bookstore. How the heck could this even be possible?

Tomorrow, we are going to drive about 40 minutes to get to a bookstore in another city.. wtw?


----------



## odetoanoddity

In the mood to cry, but the tears don't come. It's frustrating.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Shawn81

Done.


----------



## alienjunkie

kinda wanna delete all of my social media and disappear


----------



## Charmeleon

Feeling pretty fat & gross right now. I don't like what I see at all.


----------



## mocha latte




----------



## KILOBRAVO

im fine, a bit happy. ive heard from someone nice again


----------



## uziq

like i am just completely inadequate at conversing with others

i also want to go lay down and sleep the rest of the day


----------



## LostinReverie

Pretty pleasant right now, actually. A little hopeful. A little motivated. Not anxious, depressed, or stressed out. 

I'm sure that will change when I go to work tonight.


----------



## Damon

i hate this site. The more normal you are to someone the more ****ed up they act to you in return. No wonder no one has any friends. feels bad, real bad.:nerd:


----------



## Canadian Brotha

exhausted


----------



## umakemebarf

icky


----------



## Bbpuff

I was extremely angry earlier, but now I feel like dying.


----------



## Shawn81

Lonely as always.


----------



## uziq

anxious, aimless with life, tired


----------



## ingvarnaut

Extremely horny lol


----------



## Elixer

Brooding like Batman in The Dark Knight Rises, but even more so cause I ain't rich...or muscular...or good looking. :-(


----------



## TryingMara

Stressed.


----------



## RobAlister

I don't know how I'm feeling. I'm ok, but kinda down. I'm frustrated, yet calm.


----------



## Shawn81

ingvarnaut said:


> Extremely horny lol


Normally I don't bother pointing this out because it goes without saying, but... this. Bad.


----------



## BrittBrittxP

Numb, Detached, Like my life is a blur


----------



## Kevin001

Pretty tired. I'm sleeping more and more these days.


----------



## Damon




----------



## RawrJessiRawr

Sad, such sadness


----------



## Damon




----------



## LostinReverie

Depressed. Worthless. Stupid.


----------



## Strikn

Much sad and st0peed


----------



## JohnDoe26

My right eye is hurting and slightly dilated. Making squishing sounds.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & antisocial


----------



## Strikn

When I walked into my apartment complex tonight a small dog was barking at me like 100 meters away and I really wanted to just run as fast as I could up to the dog and scream shut up, bit moody today.


----------



## Shawn81

Down. Off for almost two weeks and I know I'll just be sitting here refreshing the forum constantly hoping for some contact that might happen every few days at best.


----------



## Surly Wurly

i feel as if im about 8 months pregnant with the holy spirit's child, i cant be totally sure on the chronology tho, there was a month or two there where i was pretty much drunk the whole time

god damn i look like a whale


----------



## uziq

meh, tired and indifferent


----------



## LemonBones

Virgin


----------



## Persephone The Dread

lots of different things simultaneously that can be all summed up as terrible.


----------



## Wondering86

Feeling lonely...been like this for 3 weeks now. I normally feel happy and ok with loneliness while my husband is working 2nd shift and and my friends are busy...i just sit at home and not motivated for hobbies after awhile


----------



## Charmeleon

Frrreeeeeeeeezzzinnnnggg!!!


----------



## Depo

Sad and lonely.


----------



## Damon




----------



## Crisigv

A little down


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry and annoyed


----------



## LostinReverie

Oddly content


----------



## Shawn81

Really down. About to go get things I shouldn't be eating, but doing it anyway, because who cares..


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Sleepy. I've been trying to stay awake during the daytime so I could go out tomorrow :yawn


----------



## uziq

empty, confused, exhausted


----------



## Crisigv

a little chilly, and quite fat


----------



## Kevin001

Super tired, I'll probably be going to sleep soon.


----------



## Charmeleon

Pretty stressed, a little hungry too


----------



## KILOBRAVO

more or less fine


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry


----------



## uziq

dissapointed


----------



## Depo

Angry.


----------



## dune87

im exhausted and my hands are puffy but i wont stop until im done.


----------



## thomasjune

Tired and stressed-out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Shawn81

Used and abandoned.


----------



## Telliblah

sick
and it feels like i got something in my left eye


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling really lazy. But also proud of myself for answering the door to receive a parcel for my brother.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel full after dinner LOL..... but i have excersises to do later, so i need to pluck up the motivation


----------



## sofiamastro

Feeling anxious and insecure...wish I could easily connect with people, I want to so badly but my anxiety and worry gets in the way


----------



## uziq

increasingly incompetent


----------



## gthopia94

Bored, Agitated and just flat out lazy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Maverick34

Empty... I need a woman


----------



## Canadian Brotha

like a bullet to the brain will make me sane


----------



## SaladDays

moderately stressed and sad, very tired


----------



## Maverick34

Crisigv said:


> a little chilly, and quite fat


Sounds sexy 0


----------



## Crisigv

Maverick 9 said:


> Sounds sexy 0


Quite the opposite in reality.


----------



## TryingMara

Not great. I feel longing for things that are always out of reach.


----------



## Maverick34

TryingMara said:


> Not great. I feel longing for things that are always out of reach.


I can really relate to that :serious:


----------



## MCHB

Reflective.


----------



## Shawn81

Like going to bed for the rest of my two weeks off. Maybe longer.


----------



## tarkz

Hottt


----------



## Shawn81

Stupid.


----------



## tea111red

dEPRIVED.


----------



## P1e2

Feeling really tired and sleepy now. Zzzzz...


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Bored. I want to go out somewhere but I don't know when :|


----------



## LostinReverie

loved and taken care of


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored/restless


----------



## slyfox

Sick


----------



## tea111red

Blegh....


----------



## Andras96

I can barely express how I feel anymore. Maybe it's for the best. People are sick of me... I'm sick of me.


----------



## tea111red

LostInReverie said:


> loved and taken care of


Sounds nice....


----------



## TryingMara

Stressed.


----------



## uziq

like a human husk


----------



## LostinReverie

tea111red said:


> Sounds nice....


Yeah, I think I'm starting to truly appreciate that my parents love me or they wouldn't be taking care of me. I always thought that they were just doing it out of obligation and hated me for it. Yet now, as an adult, I think they they do it because they love me, despite the embarrassment it undoubtedly causes.


----------



## MCHB

Anxious and excited. Flying back to Kelowna tomorrow. Airports stress me out, even though the local one here is a speck, lol.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like garbage.


----------



## JohnDoe26

Tired, bored, my eyes are sore, and I feel like the day went by too quickly with me doing basically little to nothing (other than exercise a bit).


----------



## tea111red

LostInReverie said:


> Yeah, I think I'm starting to truly appreciate that my parents love me or they wouldn't be taking care of me. I always thought that they were just doing it out of obligation and hated me for it. Yet now, as an adult, I think they they do it because they love me, despite the embarrassment it undoubtedly causes.


Good....you deserve to feel loved.


----------



## Noca

Stressed, really need to chill out and get my mind off my problems.


----------



## Shawn81

Lonely.


----------



## Maverick34

Tired & hoping the NY Jets win!


----------



## Vegadad

At work this week I had a crazy lady customer attack me verbally and when I told her that I was unable to speak to her because of how she was talking me, she went on a tirade and began going to others in my administrative team saying how sad it was that I was unable to speak to her, on and on, etc etc. It brought up huge amounts of shame...I knew she was crazy but it still have a strong effect on me, so now I am resting over the weekend, trying to let all that guilt and shame and hurt drain away...took some ativan, that helped.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Tired and bored :blank


----------



## uziq

pathetic


----------



## Depo

Tired.... I feel like watching a movie or play one of my videogames, but at the same time I just feel like sitting here.


----------



## Shawn81

Bored to death.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Too sober, next beer better kick my ***


----------



## LostinReverie

I was feeling extremely, intensely annoyed yesterday and could not for the life of me figure out the trigger. My brain was trying to alert me to something. When you're yelling at your brain to just tell you what it wants, you know your life isn't quite right. Thankfully, it passed and I seem okay today. For now.


----------



## LostinReverie

tea111red said:


> Good....you deserve to feel loved.


Thanks! :smile2: As do you.


----------



## Crisigv

Tired. I don't want to go to work and talk to customers. I want to sleep.


----------



## LostinReverie

That annoyance just came back today tenfold. I'm ****ing livid right now for no reason and with no outlet. 

It's almost physical, like a clamp on my brain .


----------



## tea111red

LostInReverie said:


> Thanks! :smile2: As do you.


Thank you!


----------



## Maverick34

Better after gargling w/ salt water & yawning. Felt the coming on of a cold/sore throat when I woke. Nice to start healing naturally.


----------



## Depo

Awful, I just had a crying spell. I took some money from my mother's bedroom (she's at work right now.) And I'll use that money in order to buy some liquor. I never thought my addiction would get to the point I'd steal from my own parents. I could stop right now, but I want to forget, I want to feel peaceful. I feel like a terrible person. I ask myself, when will this stop?


----------



## GatitaFierrra

Contemplating on taking a trazadone already so I can sleep and be put out of my misery for now.


----------



## Eppychu

Really tired, I need to go to sleep/want to rest but I am scared to sleep knowing I am likely to dream about my ex and knowing it will upset me and wake me up and I will just restart this whole ****ed up cycle of never feeling well rested and just end up feeling even more drained than before


----------



## Buttered Toast

Optimistic, but longing for someone with whom I could share it.


----------



## tea111red

I feel so unfulfilled.


----------



## anxious87

Afraid, sad, tired


----------



## Kevin001

Exhausted. I've been so tired the last few days. Don't know why, I get plenty of sleep.


----------



## Shawn81

Lonely. Like I won't bother getting out of bed this week.


----------



## tea111red

I want to scream.


----------



## Shawn81

Like I need the kind of warmth I'm never going to get.

Wishing I had a place where I belonged, to build some relationships.

Like the chat feature in the lower right of the forum is a troll sewer that I need to just disable for good.


----------



## vania31415

Generally feeling down and negative. which I wish I could stop. I don't want to be a negative person but I don't know how to stop it


----------



## funnynihilist

I am floating like a piece of driftwood.


----------



## tea111red

nfefhjoiehbvujirehgtr87fy7ge\wiuv98ygbehjvs98uygruyh7gbehjv89uhtgv

Just so broken down. And TORMENTED.


----------



## spacewalker

Lonely. I feel like a stranger in my own life. I feel like I am not supposed to be here and that this soul took the place of someone who could have actually done something important with this life. 

I feel like running away. I have such an overwhelming urge to drive and drive until I don't recognize anything or anyone.


----------



## LostinReverie

I've had a horrible headache for the last three days like something is trying to squeeze my brain out of my head through my eye sockets.

On the bright side, my face is no longer actively bleeding.

I usually only get headaches this bad when I have some sort of infection. So if this ibuprofen doesn't work, I'm going for the antibiotics.


----------



## Andras96

So... if my life just comes off as a joke to people and I'm either mocked (even on here) or ignored by people... why am I still taking this life seriously? Why would anyone take this life seriously if they were me? It would be sane for me to completely give up at this point. Why bother, why try anymore...


----------



## LemonBones

Like **** everyone.


----------



## Ape

I've been feeling really zen lately. I've detached myself from my feelings to a certain degree. It's such a strange feeling, as if I see every emotion that I should be feeling, going by me like a teleprompter or something.


----------



## uziq

feels like I have to be the most perfect, extroverted human in order to not put people off or make them think i'm annoying / clingy / weird or whatever. if I give someone even the slightest bad vibe I feel terrible


----------



## Wizard Lizard

Sleepy withh a touch of melancholy.


----------



## Dark Jewel

Feeling hopeless


----------



## tea111red

My hope and faith is sparse.


----------



## Maverick34

Lil tired/foggy. Slept in spurts because of a cold/sore throat that's trying to invade my body. I'm trying to nip it in the bud.


----------



## Shawn81

Down. Lonely. Bored. Hopeless.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

cold, the metre says the heat is cranked, doesn't feel like it though


----------



## zonebox

Trying to think of something to do to curb the boredom I am currently experiencing. I usually feel a bit down on Mondays, because I have to go back to work on Tuesdays.. 

I think I will go outside for a bit, perhaps read some of my book. I wanted to go to the park earlier, but no one else wanted to go so it has been a day spent indoors.


----------



## Silere

I feel so sad and useless.


----------



## TenYears

I just f-ing give up, man. Last night I came home after being at my parents all weekend to find my apartment flooded. The bathroom ceiling ripped out. My stuff thrown everywhere. The bedroom carpet soaked, bathroom soaked, hallway soaked. I tried to sleep with all the fans and the dehumidifier running but didn't have much luck there.


And no, it gets better. At work today we were trying to get a jammed metal shelf out of one of the walls, and well, we got it out alright. The front edge went right into my nose, split it open. The guy I was working with was just like "Oh f- dude"! I reached up with my left hand and touched my face and my hand came back completely covered in blood. Same thing with the right. Just...blood everywhere. I have a band aid across the middle of my face now. Probably for the next week or so, at least.


I don't want to know what's next. I just want to curl up in a ball, in my room, with the lights off, and I want to sleep for a few days.


But no, I have to go out, I have to go Christmas shopping with this ridiculous thing on my face. I have to run errands.


FML FML FML


----------



## Shawn81

The same way I usually feel.


----------



## Shawn81

Like an idiot, sitting here refreshing this forum for no reason for yet another night.


----------



## uziq

kind of want to cry. going to work out for a bit, maybe that'll help.



Shawn81 said:


> Like an idiot, sitting here refreshing this forum for no reason for yet another night.


also this


----------



## Andras96

OK. Though it never lasts. I'll just pass out and feel like a wreck again. If it were up to me, I'd rather drink myself to oblivion. There's no point to go on.


----------



## Andras96

Yeah... I could imagine that being my fate indeed. Since people never wanted and will never want a thing to do with something so pathetic, so spineless like me. Can I blame them...


----------



## Andras96

Gee, look at him go!... Heh, I'm going in circles. I tried reaching out to people, and it lead to nowhere but only to a few awkward introductions and then these few people avoiding me afterward. I can't blame anyone, I really can't. I'm beyond discouraged. Why can't I just quit? I've tried and am still trying meds, I've tried talking to people. I don't want to remain the way I am but there's no other alternative. I just want something, ****ing something to take me away from this. I've had it, I've given up my will. Something just ****ing end it for me already.


----------



## Shawn81

Cold and lonely. Guess I'll take a warm shower to at least deal with half of it.


----------



## Ineko

TenYears said:


> I just f-ing give up, man. Last night I came home after being at my parents all weekend to find my apartment flooded. The bathroom ceiling ripped out. My stuff thrown everywhere. The bedroom carpet soaked, bathroom soaked, hallway soaked. I tried to sleep with all the fans and the dehumidifier running but didn't have much luck there.
> 
> And no, it gets better. At work today we were trying to get a jammed metal shelf out of one of the walls, and well, we got it out alright. The front edge went right into my nose, split it open. The guy I was working with was just like "Oh f- dude"! I reached up with my left hand and touched my face and my hand came back completely covered in blood. Same thing with the right. Just...blood everywhere. I have a band aid across the middle of my face now. Probably for the next week or so, at least.
> 
> I don't want to know what's next. I just want to curl up in a ball, in my room, with the lights off, and I want to sleep for a few days.
> 
> But no, I have to go out, I have to go Christmas shopping with this ridiculous thing on my face. I have to run errands.
> 
> FML FML FML


actually it prolly looks like you got in a fight which equals badass looking (trying to help here)
Seriously did you need stitches or did it break or anything?
Thank your stars your ok and it is only a band aid/bandage you have on and something that doesn't impair your breathing. It could have been a much worse injury.

i'm glad your ok


----------



## Ineko

Shawn81 said:


> Cold and lonely. Guess I'll take a warm shower to at least deal with half of it.


mmm being clean and warm in fresh jammies after a shower is the best!
(hugs)


----------



## TenYears

Ineko said:


> actually it prolly looks like you got in a fight which equals badass looking (trying to help here)
> Seriously did you need stitches or did it break or anything?
> Thank your stars your ok and it is only a band aid/bandage you have on and something that doesn't impair your breathing. It could have been a much worse injury.
> 
> i'm glad your ok


Lol, no nothing broken, didn't need stitches. It really wasn't that deep, it just bled like crazy (head wounds do that I think). It's just been a really, really bad last 24 hours or so. I just want tomorrow to be better. Thank you


----------



## Shawn81

Ineko said:


> mmm being clean and warm in fresh jammies after a shower is the best!
> (hugs)


Thanks. I'm sure it'll at least make me feel physically better for a little while.


----------



## FairyAngel92

Extremely anxious.


----------



## uziq

still down, but working out helped a bit.


----------



## Cletis

Terrible.


----------



## LostinReverie

worthless, unwanted, repulsive


----------



## Findedeux

Just went to another meetup, didn't feel super-anxious and had fun so feeling good.

But I am starting to realize there is a big difference between hanging out with people and having a good time versus actually making real friends.


----------



## Maverick34

Much better after eating & gargling


----------



## Shawn81

Annoyed that I'm not tired enough to sleep.


----------



## uziq

after working out I drove around for a bit and walked probably 5 miles, feeling pretty fine.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired and worried.


----------



## NerdlySquared

LostInReverie said:


> worthless, unwanted, repulsive


Oahhh  You are not any of those things  hug :hug I really hope tommorow is better, you should never have to feel like that


----------



## NerdlySquared

Findedeux said:


> Just went to another meetup, didn't feel super-anxious and had fun so feeling good.
> 
> But I am starting to realize there is a big difference between hanging out with people and having a good time versus actually making real friends.


There is a big difference its true, it's not trivial for most people to grow close that easily, SA or not. It takes time and two way shows of trust and possibly aid and positive communication which can eventually develop into a real friendship to various degrees of closeness. But hanging out and having a good time is exactly the kind of environment where that kind of thing starts  Try not to think of it as something somehow less than or unfulfilling, but as a fun and enjoyable step closer to making those real friends, it might make it easier to actually get to that point for you and find them. I'm glad you had fun  I hope all the future meet ups are fun too  Good Luck


----------



## uziq

went to therapy, felt good, came home to find an email about substandard work performance. bleh.


----------



## Ladybug20

Nervous.


----------



## cybernaut

Sick...sinus infection for nearly 5 days now.


----------



## UnusualSuspect

feelin cool


----------



## Shawn81

Very lonely. I only hear from two, maybe three people here anymore, and only every several days or so, and I still haven't found another outlet for talking to similar people.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, sad, and lonely, as usual.


----------



## CoffeeGuy

Sad and lonely.

I really, really want someone that I can talk to about what's going on in my life. Not even bad or overly emotional stuff. I just want to talk to someone who knows me and that wants to hear from me, and that I know I wouldn't just be annoying them.

oh well. I'll just keep it all inside my head and go watch a movie by myself....again.


----------



## anxious87

Exhausted but confident I made the right decisions today


----------



## Surly Wurly

i wonder if this is what the menopause feels like *eats chocolate in sportswear*


----------



## Shawn81

Frustratingly lonely. And now hungry. Time for take-out.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tense & moody


----------



## LostinReverie

stupid


----------



## bad baby

Nervouuusssssss~

New day, new panic.

It's my last workday of 2015. Let's end the year with a bang.

(Like, the good kind of bang obv >.>)


----------



## Shawn81

Angry. Can't sleep. I'm screwed when I have to start getting up for work next week.


----------



## bad baby

Starving @[email protected] Who ever heard of 7-11 closing at 8:30? This is an outrage!!!! :x


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

bad baby said:


> Starving @[email protected] Who ever heard of 7-11 closing at 8:30? This is an outrage!!!! :x


An outrage if you're eating glazed doughnuts!!

-----

Feeling euphoric, oddly enough. I can't stop laughing/ smiling which is rare for me. I just want everyone to be happy, man. To all the people who have wronged me or where there is enmity or ill feeling, forget about it all. I hope you have a wonderful life, I hope everyone and everything is granted nothing but peace and love, as all of us deserve (I know that won't be the case but those are just my sentiments for today). Maybe with the positive vibes I can work towards spreading the right kind of positivity. The most monumental changes you can make as an individual are most often the small or unnoticed gestures..
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/


----------



## bad baby

hesitation marks said:


> An outrage if you're eating glazed doughnuts!!
> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/


I am desperate enough to eat _anything_ right now you have no idea.. in fact some of my fellow passengers are starting to look very tasty.....

*cue tokyo ghoul OP*

...on a somewhat related note I bet the 7-11s in Tokyo are still open :x:x:x


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

bad baby said:


> I am desperate enough to eat _anything_ right now you have no idea.. in fact some of my fellow passengers are starting to look very tasty.....
> 
> *cue tokyo ghoul OP*
> 
> ...on a somewhat related note I bet the 7-11s in Tokyo are still open :x:x:x


For some reason this came to mind:









I really think you need to go back to Japan soon!
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/


----------



## LostinReverie

Miserable, unlikeable, friendless


----------



## TenYears

LostInReverie said:


> Miserable, unlikeable, friendless


(((hugs)))


----------



## TenYears

I'm at work, and we're all bored out of our skulls. There's work to do but no ones really interested, not even the team lead that's here. We've been standing around talking, gossiping for last two hours. We get off at noon but that seems like years away lol.


----------



## LostinReverie

TenYears said:


> (((hugs)))


Thanks, bud. Real life hug would be better, but I know you can only do so much, so it's the thought that counts.


----------



## Crisigv

My body feels no better this morning. Also feeling lonely.


----------



## thomasjune

I feel good. No work for the next four days.. Hell yeah!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I'm really tired.


----------



## Ape

Smooth like butter.


----------



## uziq

tired, overwhelmed.


----------



## Crisigv

meh


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Alien


----------



## Barakiel

weird


----------



## copper

Arthritis site says pain index is extreme where I live. I believe it. There isn't one joint that doesn't hurt today. Earlier I could hardly put any weight on my right leg due to knee pain. I drank a glass of sour cherry juice which helps a little.


----------



## Shawn81

More and more down and lonely as the day goes on.


----------



## Surly Wurly

wish someone would bombard me with anti-matter

why have i put food in the oven, why am i going to sit here and eat a meal

same reason i have all these hard years i guess. maybe tomorrow i'll feel better. 

i'm actually not broken yet. maybe that will come someday but i'm not broken yet. just gotta calm down


----------



## Shawn81

Dull and hopeless.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Tired.


----------



## uziq

heartbroken and lonely.


----------



## catcharay

Accomplished, even if it was just for today. It helped that I felt kind of disassociated, but it certainly helped with my anxiety. Thoughts did circulate in my head but it didn't overpower me. There was no driving incident - no honks and pissed drivers - and in the midst of the Christmas collective! So proud, but I'm also lucky lol. Not going to lie, my morning was total sh.t., but I must keep reminding myself that days can go through a turnaround. Just gotta try and see the bigger perspective.

Went to the doc's and apparently I show high testosterone levels atm, hence the acne, which might be indicating polycystic ovary syndrome. Plus I have high prolactin secreting in my brain, which she said might be a brain tumour :/ Not worried though, in fact a little relieved there may be an underlying explanation to my questions.


----------



## LostinReverie

disgusting, unwanted, lonely, suicidal


----------



## hereandthere

LostInReverie said:


> disgusting, unwanted, lonely, suicidal


I know this probably won't mean much, not the way you feel right now. God knows, I've felt the same way a million times. But... You're not disgusting or unwanted. I promise. You have _*much*_ more value than you think.


----------



## vela

Lonely & crying.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Mildly misanthropic. Appreciating the irony (time of year.)


----------



## Maverick34

Balmy... but portable AC to the rescue *whew (& you're damn right I would've installed the window AC in the window if I didn't have the portable!)


----------



## rdrr

turrible. i dont wanna do nothing


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Not good.


----------



## uziq

meh


----------



## pinkkawaii

Uncertain and worried


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling relaxed, I'm enjoying the night. I hope you all are doing well as well.


----------



## thisismeyo

like ****. can't relax for years


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## tea111red

I'm tired of running into dead ends.


----------



## Shawn81

Restless. I wish I could sleep. I've got a big day tomorrow of refreshing this forum for some reason.


----------



## tea111red

Shawn81 said:


> I've got a big day tomorrow of refreshing this forum for some reason.


lol, that cracked me up. I've been there many times!!!


----------



## Cherrycarmine

I'm in a pretty good mood today


----------



## Shawn81

Seeing too many happy people online. The ogre in me is not amused. Maybe time to go back to bed until this day is over.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

Shawn81 said:


> Seeing too many happy people online. The ogre in me is not amused. Maybe time to go back to bed until this day is over.


Well, I ain't happy. 
I was supposed to get an e-gift card from amazon today and...nothing.

I want. I want! Gimme, dammit!

****, I'm greedy. :frown2:


----------



## Shawn81

DiscardYourFear said:


> Well, I ain't happy.
> I was supposed to get an e-gift card from amazon today and...nothing.
> 
> I want. I want! Gimme, dammit!
> 
> ****, I'm greedy. :frown2:


I'd be upset, too. Anything that prevents me from buying on Amazon would stress me out.


----------



## Wizard Lizard

Kinda ****ty, could be worse tho



RadnessaurousRex said:


> feel like giving up tbh


What's keeping you down, Rexie?
Merry Christmas btw.


----------



## Wizard Lizard

RadnessaurousRex said:


> You know, the typical depressing I want to hang myself and die type stuff cos I'm a sad, lonely, abandoned disaster.


Well, I feel the same often, so at least we can be sad, lonely, abandoned disasters together.

Is it because you're spending christmas alone?


----------



## Wizard Lizard

RadnessaurousRex said:


> Kinda I guess


Me too.  Don't let it get you down though Rexie. Have you called your family or friends today?


----------



## tea111red

Ugly


----------



## uziq

pathetic, desperate


----------



## Shawn81

Lonely. Pessimistic about that changing.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

Shawn81 said:


> I'd be upset, too. Anything that prevents me from buying on Amazon would stress me out.


I feel better now. I wrote to my sister, asking in the nicest way I could, why my e-gift card had not arrived yet. She said she would look into it, and evidently something went wrong, but I got it a little while after she responded.

Now I feel awkward, having to ask about it.


----------



## Shawn81

DiscardYourFear said:


> I feel better now. I wrote to my sister, asking in the nicest way I could, why my e-gift card had not arrived yet. She said she would look into it, and evidently something went wrong, but I got it a little while after she responded.
> 
> Now I feel awkward, having to ask about it.


In that case, I'd feel too anxious about asking, and probably just cut my losses.


----------



## Findedeux

Excited about all the socializing I will likely do this week.

But disappointed I probably won't be doing them with people from on here.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

Shawn81 said:


> In that case, I'd feel too anxious about asking, and probably just cut my losses.


Oh...you got to spank your anxiety into submission on stuff like this. I'm not giving up a $50 gift card because of my stupid SA. **** that!
Priorities, ya know? >


----------



## Shawn81

DiscardYourFear said:


> Oh...you got to spank your anxiety into submission on stuff like this. I'm not giving up a $50 gift card because of my stupid SA. **** that!
> Priorities, ya know? >


Running and hiding from everything awkward is my priority number one. My anxiety spanks me into submission.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

Shawn81 said:


> Running and hiding from everything awkward is my priority number one. My anxiety spanks me into submission.


Yep, I know what you mean. My anxiety still does that to me sometimes. But I'm finding that it's more fun the other way around.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Okay.


----------



## tea111red

Dreading stuff.


----------



## Shawn81

Annoyed. Hungry. Not really hungry. But going to eat garbage anyway.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Relieved to be home, but still feeling sad and lonely, as always.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Tired :yawn Glad to be back home.


----------



## Shawn81

Frustrated. So lonely.


----------



## tea111red

so bored. i can't do anything i find interesting.


----------



## slyfox

Full and tired


----------



## Crisigv

A little sad, and lonely. And not as tired as I should be considering I need to wake up in a few hours.


----------



## uziq

yopkypokopykpoykopskdfgopdskfgldsfgdagsf. just reliving all the cringeworthy things i've done in the past few weeks. i never seem to learn.


----------



## Depo

I feel I'm getting better and less annoyed at people. I don't know why, it might be hormonal.:smile2:


----------



## tea111red

It'd be nice to know some people w/ my sense of humor and interests. I want to have some fun.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

im fine... but i am worried about someone else... or sad for that person.... i hope to hear from them very soon


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious
Sad
Lonely
Stupid
Annoyed
Grumpy


----------



## DiscardYourFear

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious
> Sad
> Lonely
> Stupid
> Annoyed
> Grumpy


What was the other dwarf again?:grin2:


----------



## SamanthaStrange

DiscardYourFear said:


> What was the other dwarf again?:grin2:


Worthless?


----------



## DiscardYourFear

SamanthaStrange said:


> Worthless?


Maybe, but you are definitely NOT worthless.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

DiscardYourFear said:


> Maybe, but you are definitely NOT worthless.


Thank you.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Cold, miserable, & anti social


----------



## LostinReverie

sad and lonely


----------



## Shawn81

Down, tired.


----------



## Kevin001

Not too hot. I need to lose these last few lbs asap, plus I think I might be getting sick.


----------



## tea111red

Anxious....


----------



## Shawn81

Regretting dietary decisions today.


----------



## MamaDoe

****ty.


----------



## uziq

bored as hell and sad

another weekend of staring at my computer screen, alone


----------



## tea111red

I hate having to go to work when I feel/look so ugly and gross.


----------



## Shawn81

Annoyed. Some of the medical "advice" on this forum makes me want to disembowel myself and hang myself with my own entrails.

Also, sad and lonely, as always. I don't want to go back to work tomorrow. I don't want to just sit here alone, either, but I really don't want to go back.


----------



## NerdlySquared

LostInReverie said:


> sad and lonely


Hug :squeeze


----------



## NerdlySquared

Kevin001 said:


> Not too hot. I need to lose these last few lbs asap, plus I think I might be getting sick.


You can do it Kevin!  I hope you feel better soon tho :rub


----------



## truant

I feel much more at peace now that I've accepted that I deserve everything bad that's happened to me. I wasn't strong enough, wasn't smart enough, wasn't brave enough to do what needed to be done. There's no one else in the ring with me: it's just me, duking it out with myself. I am the enemy, not life, not other people; me, my limitations, my fears, my apathy, my laziness.


----------



## SilentLyric

tired, but was unable to sleep well.


----------



## tea111red

i'm feeling like i want to blow my head off.


----------



## uziq

pathetic and full of regret


----------



## unemployment simulator

I have been feeling on off miserable and irritable for the last 2 days. didn't even want to get out of bed yesterday. can't work out what is depressing me? not wanting to do anything and instead sitting in front of the computer staring at the same websites all day, eating too much junk or the fact that people in my life are constantly over stepping my boundaries when I have told them I am not happy about it while also letting me down... I think it could be a combination of all of them, with one thing feeding off from the initial problems I am having with people again.
ugh fml.


----------



## Bseed

better than when I was in full blown anxiety attack mode a few days ago, but still exhausted from it.


----------



## dune87

quite hydrated


----------



## Surly Wurly

i have sliced a piece of ham so finely that i am tossing it up in the air repeatedly and watching it float down like a feather, it takes about 20 seconds to actually reach the floor! 

marvelous.


----------



## Smiddy

My brain is melting


----------



## Shawn81

Lonely and hopeless.


----------



## Depo

Nostalgic... I met a new person today, he was nice. I've probably met 3 men this year (one of them is my current bf.) But I feel they're not nearly as charming and funny as my ex. The thought I'll never meet someone like that again made me cry a little. And the thought that my ex still loves me (we still text each other), but he's no longer a man, he's a transgender woman. We were destined to live a couple of years together normally and end up being friends. I thought we would live all our years together, silly me.


----------



## uziq

uziq said:


> pathetic and full of regret


still this


----------



## Shawn81

The usual. Lonely. Pathetic. Whiny. Blah blah. Boo hoo.


----------



## TryingMara

sleepy


----------



## Perkins

I'm actually really rather embarrassed. :\ I'm surprised this isn't listed in the 'moods'.


----------



## slowlyimproving

theloneleopard said:


> I feel things too deeply :/


So do I. But, there's great beauty in that...as exhausting as it is.


----------



## Maverick34

Empty... but not the kind of empty we usually feel at SAS... I was in the bathroom twice just before


----------



## P1e2

Perkins said:


> I'm actually really rather embarrassed. :\ I'm surprised this isn't listed in the 'moods'.


My goodness I can really relate and spend over half my life embarrassed. Maybe outgoing persons just don't get that embarrassed. Maybe if I could get past embarrassment I'd have it made, well less anxiousness and self consciousness.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

fine, theres nothing to worry about immediately, and i got told i had a nice voice the other night. LOL, she loved it apparently.


----------



## Kevin001

Very confused and stressed. A little angry too which is rare for me.


----------



## Surly Wurly

like a food stain that makes your trousers look bad but that you will lick when everyone else leaves the room


----------



## tea111red

okay...quite a difference from yesterday. it's still early in the day, though.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, cold, & antisocial


----------



## TenYears

Sad, anxious, self-hating. I miss my boo 


I really screwed up. I said something I shouldn't have. I got really defensive. And now she won't even talk to me, we're not even on speaking terms, apparently. I hate myself, so, so much right now, I can't even find the words to describe. I just....I really wish it would all just end right now, I'm so tired, I'm so tired of trying to second guess myself, so tired of trying to avoid behavior that self-sabotages, that sabotages relationships. I just want it all to end.


----------



## Ape

I don't know why, but I feel really really awesome right now. I think the fact that I aced my second interview has something to do with it.


----------



## tea111red

Adrenaline is running through my veins.


----------



## uziq

horribly anxious, new year's eve is almost here


----------



## Ineko

my cell phone bill got sorted out, but now I have to go to that damn appt tomorrow and im soo nervous to use Uber by myself.
Just know i'm gonna screw this up some how.


----------



## Maverick34

TenYears said:


> Sad, anxious, self-hating. I miss my boo
> 
> I really screwed up. I said something I shouldn't have. I got really defensive. And now she won't even talk to me, we're not even on speaking terms, apparently. I hate myself, so, so much right now, I can't even find the words to describe. I just....I really wish it would all just end right now, I'm so tired, I'm so tired of trying to second guess myself, so tired of trying to avoid behavior that self-sabotages, that sabotages relationships. I just want it all to end.


Sorry to hear that friend. It's better to have had love than to never have had it


----------



## Shawn81

Sad.


----------



## Crisigv

sad


----------



## LostinReverie

like an attention *****


----------



## NerdlySquared

Crisigv said:


> sad


Oaaaaah, Cheer Up  Here is something you might find funny


----------



## NerdlySquared

LostInReverie said:


> like an attention *****


Haha don't worry happens to everyone


----------



## uziq

literally about to vomit with how sad I am over something

it's time for a klonopin-induced slumber


----------



## NerdlySquared

uziq said:


> literally about to vomit with how sad I am over something
> 
> it's time for a klonopin-induced slumber


Sorry man  Hope you will be able to sleep tonight feeling like that, I hope tommorow is better for you.


----------



## slowlyimproving

Intrigued, motivated, determined and a little tired.


----------



## uziq

NerdlySquared said:


> Sorry man  Hope you will be able to sleep tonight feeling like that, I hope tommorow is better for you.


appreciate it

don't think I'll feel any better until new year's is over with but whatever I'll survive


----------



## sweetSacrifice

Wanting to die.....


----------



## slyfox

Overwhelmed


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Annoyed:no


----------



## uziq

Like tossed aside garbage. Just took a couple benadryls and hopefully it's back to slumber for me soon. Work can wait


----------



## Barakiel

meh.


----------



## Strikn

I don't know, like my mental surroundings have changed and I need to adapt to the new mental settings, like I'm lost in between feeling nothing and something.


----------



## indielife

Feeling a bit hyper, but there's not too much to do outside by myself in the snow, outside of going for a walk with my dog.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

Stressed. There is too much going on. I'm not going into all the details, but among all the other things, my cat has just thrown up 3 times, which is not normal. 

Stop. Just stop. I can only deal with one thing at a time.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

im fine  ..... i suppose thats a boring response


----------



## Shawn81

Hopeless and lonely.


----------



## Depo

Not very good. I don't know why, some days I wake up and everything seems to be alright, but some days (like today) I wake up and everything seems wrong. I started drinking beer in the afternoon, bought a new pack of cigarettes (I told myself yesterday I'd quit that disgusting habit), everything goes to sh*t. I just don't know what to do anymore, these mood swings are driving me crazy.


----------



## Shawn81

Frustrated. I hate being boring and introverted.


----------



## tea111red

Pretty overwhelmed w/ negative thoughts that I'm wanting to escape from.


----------



## no one here

I feel soo fulll, god why did I eat two hamburgers D:


----------



## tea111red

I've got so much I need to do and I can't focus.


----------



## Depo

I feel drunk, but everything is alright. I went for more booze and I feel like heaven. :grin2: I wish this never stopped, but tomorrow my muscles will ache and I'll feel bad. But I feel so good right now. :laugh:


----------



## visualkeirockstar

Irritated.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

You know when you put a whole bunch of marbles in a blender and pretty much all of them are turned into some weird kind of glass dust and one lonely marble survives with a whole bunch of ugly chips and scratches? Yeah. That's how I'm feeling.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

lost.

and sweaty.

damn summer weather.


----------



## LoneWolf14

I'm feelin a little salty


----------



## kesker

I thought I was over this bug I caught before Christmas but it's still here. 
I feel sick. I was hoping to jolt the system a bit on New Years Eve, maybe go out, but not sure now.


----------



## LostinReverie

Hungry, eyes itch from crying because my damn therapist made me think of my childhood.


----------



## TryingMara

Unsettled, angry, depressed, worried, hopeless.


----------



## Cmasch

Pretty good at the moment. Relaxed, for now


----------



## ellirpa

For once I'm actually not too anxious!


----------



## uziq

i'm aight for now


----------



## Shawn81

Something something lonely, hungry, yada yada.


----------



## tea111red

my mind is keeping me awake!!!


----------



## Ineko

Shawn81 said:


> Something something lonely, hungry, yada yada.


(keeps you company and feeds you) anything else?


----------



## Barakiel

Drowsy, like sleeping pills usually do to me.They also make me feel a bit better about things so that's cool too.


----------



## Barakiel

tea111red said:


> my mind is keeping me awake!!!


:squeeze I know that feeling all too well.


----------



## Ineko

lonely, drunk, needing an outlet


----------



## tea111red

Barakiel said:


> :squeeze I know that feeling all too well.


Yeah, I took something to help me sleep, but it's probably not strong enough to shut my mind up.


----------



## Ineko

totally emotion dump. I don't want to see the next year.


----------



## Shawn81

Ineko said:


> (keeps you company and feeds you) anything else?


Thank you. I just need to figure out how to actually do something about both, though.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel so disgusting.


----------



## uziq

anxiety about tomorrow is resurfacing


----------



## P1e2

So happy my house is now calm (chirping noise from smoke detector has stopped). Really tired since its been a rough week and had to work extra few days so could leave early today. Zzzzz....:yawn


----------



## tea111red

I'm in this state of being too awake to sleep but too tired to do anything useful right now.


----------



## NerdlySquared

tea111red said:


> I'm in this state of being too awake to sleep but too tired to do anything useful right now.


I know that state all too well, it's not a very motivating one :/

I hope your mind can take a break for long enough to let you get some rest tonight :yes


----------



## NerdlySquared

P1e2 said:


> So happy my house is now calm (chirping noise from smoke detector has stopped). Really tired since its been a rough week and had to work extra few days so could leave early today. Zzzzz....:yawn


I hope it was just a false alarm with the smoke detector, hopefully you get a break from the rough week soon


----------



## NerdlySquared

uziq said:


> anxiety about tomorrow is resurfacing


What has you so worried about tommorow? Either way, I wish you luck out there.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Crisigv said:


> I feel so disgusting.


You don't look, sound or act that way tho Crisigv. You seem like a very lovely woman through and through, what could have ever convinced you to feel something so untrue? I really hope tommorow brings better feelings and you feel better and stronger than today  :squeeze:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze


----------



## tea111red

NerdlySquared said:


> I know that state all too well, it's not a very motivating one :/
> 
> I hope your mind can take a break for long enough to let you get some rest tonight :yes


Heh, thanks. I'll probably just stay up and then take a nap later. I kind of woke up more. Thinking a lot about things tends to do that to me.


----------



## NerdlySquared

tea111red said:


> Heh, thanks. I'll probably just stay up and then take a nap later. I kind of woke up more. Thinking a lot about things tends to do that to me.


I know how tough it can be to turn that off. The joys of restless mental churn  Deferring it sometimes really is the better alternative to the all night "ceiling stare". I hope you can find something engaging enough to keep your mind off all the things tonight and I hope your nap will be restful 

Best of Luck Tea


----------



## tea111red

NerdlySquared said:


> I know how tough it can be to turn that off. The joys of restless mental churn  Deferring it sometimes really is the better alternative to the all night "ceiling stare". I hope you can find something engaging enough to keep your mind off all the things tonight and I hope your nap will be restful
> 
> Best of Luck Tea


Thanks, you're a nice guy.


----------



## NerdlySquared

tea111red said:


> Thanks, you're a nice guy.


That is very sweet of you to say, thank you  I'm sure you are even nicer Tea  I hope your mind can find a way to relax tonight and you have a great nap later.

A Good Night, to you


----------



## Crisigv

NerdlySquared said:


> You don't look, sound or act that way tho Crisigv. You seem like a very lovely woman through and through, what could have ever convinced you to feel something so untrue? I really hope tommorow brings better feelings and you feel better and stronger than today  :squeeze:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze


Thanks, but it's true. I don't feel better today either.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Bored, cold, and frustrated :|


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, sad, lonely, and hopeless.


----------



## tea111red

I guess I'm feeling apathetic.


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Apprehensive. Stubborn, as always.


----------



## Depo

I'm feeling meh.... Another year is coming and I have the feeling it's going to be as forgetable and dull as 2015 was for me. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either, it was just lackluster. I just want something good to happen to me, like a new job. :sigh 

The kind of things that normal people get without problem, but not people like me. :serious:


----------



## Shawn81

Depressed and lonely.


----------



## Vegadad

I am looking to be OK with being boring...you have to embrace it, be one with the boredom...allow yourself to enjoy who you are, without being hard on yourself for not fitting in, not conforming to what you see on tv, what the masses compel you to do...I am gonna be OK with being alone. 

Sent from my SM-T357T using Tapatalk


----------



## Barakiel

Probably like most people in this thread :blank


----------



## thisismeyo

im okay. got some big obstacles ahead of me, a little worried


----------



## Jcgrey

Content


----------



## tea111red

horrible. don't want to be awake.


----------



## northernlass

Got the post-Christmas blues. Never have liked New Year stuff TBH then getting through January and February. It's powerful this social anxiety especially combined with Seasonal Affective Disorder, really drags you down. That plus an inferiority complex, well who drew the short straw? Never mind girl, pick yourself up go for a long walk to clear your mind. Come home get the kettle on and relax with a cuppa. Not a cure by any means, but it certainly helps things along a bit. Also if you can be alone, a blooming good howl and pillow thumping. That really releases a lot of tension, then have a sleep. All the very best to you all for 2016 - hang on in there.


----------



## AffinityWing

I just can't wait to get this horrid year over with, although 2016 is going to be worse or just as bad as far as I know.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Crisigv said:


> Thanks, but it's true. I don't feel better today either.


I'm sorry to hear that today is not easier  But you are not disgusting Crisigv, I hope there is some path you can find so you can see that too one day. It's hard to see a good worthwhile person beat themselves up so viciously, you don't deserve that Crisigv, especially from yourself  I know there is pain and depression and disappointments but those things don't define you, you are a better person than you want to belive. Sending you good thoughts and best wishes  :squeeze:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze


----------



## NerdlySquared

tea111red said:


> horrible. don't want to be awake.


Poor Tea  What has you feeling that badly today?


----------



## NerdlySquared

northernlass said:


> Got the post-Christmas blues. Never have liked New Year stuff TBH then getting through January and February. It's powerful this social anxiety especially combined with Seasonal Affective Disorder, really drags you down. That plus an inferiority complex, well who drew the short straw? Never mind girl, pick yourself up go for a long walk to clear your mind. Come home get the kettle on and relax with a cuppa. Not a cure by any means, but it certainly helps things along a bit. Also if you can be alone, a blooming good howl and pillow thumping. That really releases a lot of tension, then have a sleep. All the very best to you all for 2016 - hang on in there.


I'm with you on the mind clearing walks they help me quite a bit too  Never tried the pillow thumping but it does seem like it would be pretty cathartic. I hope 2016 is a good year for you  all the best to you as well


----------



## NerdlySquared

Shawn81 said:


> Depressed and lonely.


I hope you can find something to distract from that today  I hope tommorow is better.


----------



## Crisigv

NerdlySquared said:


> I'm sorry to hear that today is not easier  But you are not disgusting Crisigv, I hope there is some path you can find so you can see that too one day. It's hard to see a good worthwhile person beat themselves up so viciously, you don't deserve that Crisigv, especially from yourself  I know there is pain and depression and disappointments but those things don't define you, you are a better person than you want to belive. Sending you good thoughts and best wishes  :squeeze:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze


Ah, who cares anymore. I'm beginning to lose hope.


----------



## NerdlySquared

VaderEL said:


> I just can't wait to get this horrid year over with, although 2016 is going to be worse or just as bad as far as I know.


I hope it's a better year not worse for you. Stranger things have happened right? Why not this time  Best Wishes in 2016.


----------



## KoiLily

Anxious about all the traveling and family meet ups...wish I could just stay home, but also wish I didn't wish that.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Crisigv said:


> Ah, who cares anymore. I'm beginning to lose hope.


Don't loose hope  I know things don't get easier by just wishing them, but don't stop believing its possible.


----------



## NerdlySquared

KoiLily said:


> Anxious about all the traveling and family meet ups...wish I could just stay home, but also wish I didn't wish that.


It's the eternal SA catch 22, I hope the meetups and travels go well tho


----------



## speedywheels2319

Crap. That was a flipping horrible NYE with family. So stressed out and shaking like crazy now.

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk


----------



## slyfox

Tired. Feeling like things are hopeless for the New Year, but we'll see. At the very least I can work my *** off in 2016 and consider it training for 2017.


----------



## Shawn81

Nevermind.


----------



## Andras96

Not nearly wasted enough. I seem to have built up a tolerance.


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable and restless


----------



## Maverick34

Crisigv said:


> Ah, who cares anymore. I'm beginning to lose hope.


:hug


----------



## Shawn81

Lonely. Damnit. Always.


----------



## AffinityWing

NerdlySquared said:


> I hope it's a better year not worse for you. Stranger things have happened right? Why not this time  Best Wishes in 2016.


I guess, but just the sound of it leaves me thinking there's no way it'll look up, but thanks!! I hope your year goes great and you have the best of luck and good health this year.


----------



## eveningbat

Neutral.


----------



## tea111red

NerdlySquared said:


> Poor Tea  What has you feeling that badly today?


Looking/feeling hideous. I was also being really lazy earlier and feeling horrible for that.

I feel a little better, though, because I slept some and did manage to force myself to do something productive earlier, but I'm just wondering when these stupid thoughts will come back. I deal w/ them almost every day and have for so many years.


----------



## gopherinferno

Surly Wurly said:


> like a food stain that makes your trousers look bad but that you will lick when everyone else leaves the room


So this post isnt the love of my life or anything but i did spend a very intense steamy fortnight with it in paris and i will still think of it fondly well into my forties whilst i lounge on top of a grand piano and sip $500 champagne. This post and i ..will always have paris.


----------



## NerdlySquared

VaderEL said:


> I guess, but just the sound of it leaves me thinking there's no way it'll look up, but thanks!! I hope your year goes great and you have the best of luck and good health this year.


I know things can look bleak at times and it's true sometimes we just can't change or reverse some things; but, there is always something to improve to tweak to drive for. It doesn't have to be big things, but the more little successes you feel the more they add up to big things and big changes in the end. Don't give up VaderEL, there is so much out there  I hope this year is unexpectedly fantastic for you  Thank you kindly for your generous wishes  I hope every day of this year gets better and better for you


----------



## Fledgling

Nostalgic. Always happens as the New Year hits.


----------



## NerdlySquared

tea111red said:


> Looking/feeling hideous. I was also being really lazy earlier and feeling horrible for that.
> 
> I feel a little better, though, because I slept some and did manage to force myself to do something productive earlier, but I'm just wondering when these stupid thoughts will come back. I deal w/ them almost every day and have for so many years.


I am sad you felt that way  and I'm sure it's not true. It's not a crime to be lazy every once in a while, no one can be productive all the time you are not a robot  Try not to beat yourself up so much, you don't deserve that.

I am glad you feel better now and got some stuff you wanted to done  We all struggle with our own internal monologues and doubts and gremlins and I know it's tough to silence or even muffle those voices sometimes, but they are never worth listening to and I hope they stay away for as long as possible  I hope you have a great 2016, Tea  Best Wishes


----------



## tea111red

NerdlySquared said:


> I am glad you feel better now and got some stuff you wanted to done  We all struggle with our own internal monologues and doubts and gremlins and I know it's tough to silence or even muffle those voices sometimes, but they are never worth listening to and I hope they stay away for as long as possible  I hope you have a great 2016, Tea  Best Wishes


Yeah, I really struggle w/ negative thoughts sometimes. Trying to replace them w/ thoughts that are kinder has not been an easy task. I guess it's something I'll have to keep working on.

Anyway, thanks for your compassion and the well wishes. Hope your year is good or at least an improvement from this past one.


----------



## Shawn81

Restless. Can't sleep, but no reason to stay awake.


----------



## rdrr

Been feeling nauseous for the past 6 hours or so.


----------



## NerdlySquared

tea111red said:


> Yeah, I really struggle w/ negative thoughts sometimes. Trying to replace them w/ thoughts that are kinder has not been an easy task. I guess it's something I'll have to keep working on.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for your compassion and the well wishes. Hope your year is good or at least an improvement from this past one.


I know its not something simple or easy to get a handle on such thoughts. But I am really glad you are trying to fight the more negative ones and not letting them have all the time in the sun  :clap You should be really proud of yourself for that, not everyone has that ability 

Thank you for your kind words and I hope this new year is fantastic for you Tea


----------



## NerdlySquared

rdrr said:


> Been feeling nauseous for the past 6 hours or so.


 I hope you feel better soon


----------



## NerdlySquared

Shawn81 said:


> Restless. Can't sleep, but no reason to stay awake.


I hope you found that sleep tonight Shawn.


----------



## NerdlySquared

eveningbat said:


> Neutral.


It's half way to good  I hope it gets there soon


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad, woke up early for once. Feeling fresh.


----------



## Findedeux

Amazed how little I actually managed to accomplish during my Christmas vacation.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

I feel ok so far. Much better than yesterday


----------



## LostinReverie

Content. Trazodone works well on me. Who'd of thought


----------



## dune87

i feel like playing monopoly :s


----------



## Crisigv

No better


----------



## nordision

Lonely, depressive, I want to die but it seems it never happens.


----------



## Shawn81

Maddeningly lonely.


----------



## Shawn81

Amused by that cam **** on Twitch getting banned for animal cruelty on stream.


----------



## LostinReverie




----------



## tea111red

i need to get some more self-control and just stay off of here, but that's hard when i have nothing else that's worthwhile to do.


----------



## Shawn81

tea111red said:


> i need to get some more self-control and just stay off of here, but that's hard when i have nothing else that's worthwhile to do.


You sound a lot like me. Every day. I'm going to stop coming here too. Probably tomorrow. Same as yesterday.


----------



## Wizard Lizard




----------



## tea111red

Shawn81 said:


> You sound a lot like me. Every day. I'm going to stop coming here too. Probably tomorrow. Same as yesterday.


Lol, yeah. I've thought you sounded like me in some of your posts, too. Man, I have tried to leave this site, but I just keep getting sucked back in. It's so torturous. I just want to be done. There's no good reason to keep coming here anymore. Also, I'm tired of reading upsetting things. It just messes my day up so much and makes me want to say **** it to everything.


----------



## Shawn81

tea111red said:


> Lol, yeah. I've thought you sounded like me in some of your posts, too. Man, I have tried to leave this site, but I just keep getting sucked back in. It's so torturous. I just want to be done. There's no good reason to keep coming here anymore. Also, I'm tired of reading upsetting things. It just messes my day up so much and makes me want to say **** it to everything.


Getting a post quote or something here is the only contact I have, so it's addicting, for sure. It's hard to give up, with my loneliness issues, even if it's just brief recognition on the internet.

I agree though about some of the posts. The rare contact I get from someone hardly seems worth having to read a lot of what I see sometimes. But what else is there? Real life? :blank


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, sad, and lonely, of course. 

Same crap, different day. Same crap, different year.


----------



## lonerroom

Feel weird about the year being 2016, I feel kind of dazed, kind of like I can't believe where I am, when I wake up I feel like, is this real? Where am I? Who am I? When am I? Why am I? I still am feeling like I am in a dream-like state.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

tea111red said:


> Lol, yeah. I've thought you sounded like me in some of your posts, too. Man, I have tried to leave this site, but I just keep getting sucked back in. It's so torturous. I just want to be done. There's no good reason to keep coming here anymore. *Also, I'm tired of reading upsetting things. It just messes my day up so much and makes me want to say **** it to everything.*





Shawn81 said:


> Getting a post quote or something here is the only contact I have, so it's addicting, for sure. It's hard to give up, with my loneliness issues, even if it's just brief recognition on the internet.
> 
> *I agree though about some of the posts. The rare contact I get from someone hardly seems worth having to read a lot of what I see sometimes.* But what else is there? Real life? :blank


It's people like the both of you that make me want to stay here. 

There is some very disturbing stuff I read on these forums that has nothing to do with SA. I will not say anything more.


----------



## Shawn81

DiscardYourFear said:


> It's people like the both of you that make me want to stay here.
> 
> There is some very disturbing stuff I read on these forums that has nothing to do with SA. I will not say anything more.


Likewise. I'm glad to be noticed by you.


----------



## tea111red

Shawn81 said:


> Getting a post quote or something here is the only contact I have, so it's addicting, for sure. It's hard to give up, with my loneliness issues, even if it's just brief recognition on the internet.
> 
> I agree though about some of the posts. The rare contact I get from someone hardly seems worth having to read a lot of what I see sometimes. But what else is there? Real life? :blank


Yeah, it's nice to get contact w/ people on here till they decide you aren't worth their time anymore and contact stops or dwindles. They can no longer be bothered to care, how great. Yeah, I'm really bitter. I hate being treated like I'm a nothing and have no feelings. It really sucks to have spend so much time talking to someone only to be treated this way. This is the downside of having contact w/ people on the internet, but I guess you could get treated this way irl.

But anyway, I take this stuff really hard since I am and have been so isolated for so long and am desperate to feel like someone cares or has any interest in me as a person. I'm really vulnerable.

I just really hate people sometimes. Whenever I come into contact w/ someone new now, online and offline, I feel even more fear of being dropped than I ever did before, and I've always had abandonment issues.

Lol, sorry for the rant! I feel like a psycho and nutjob for all of this.


----------



## mastercowboy




----------



## tea111red

ugh. crazy.


----------



## tea111red

DiscardYourFear said:


> It's people like the both of you that make me want to stay here.
> 
> There is some very disturbing stuff I read on these forums that has nothing to do with SA. I will not say anything more.


hehe, thanks.  yeah, there are some really disturbing things posted on here, for sure.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> Yeah, it's nice to get contact w/ people on here till they decide you aren't worth their time anymore and contact stops or dwindles. They can no longer be bothered to care, how great. Yeah, I'm really bitter. I hate being treated like I'm a nothing and have no feelings. It really sucks to have spend so much time talking to someone only to be treated this way. This is the downside of having contact w/ people on the internet, but I guess you could get treated this way irl.
> 
> But anyway, I take this stuff really hard since I am and have been so isolated for so long and am desperate to feel like someone cares or has any interest in me as a person. I'm really vulnerable.
> 
> I just really hate people sometimes. Whenever I come into contact w/ someone new now, online and offline, I feel even more fear of being dropped than I ever did before, and I've always had abandonment issues.
> Lol, sorry for the rant! I feel like a psycho and nutjob for all of this.


Same here. I've been trying to stay more detached when I start talking to people now, because it's not worth the pain it causes when they grow tired of me, and walk away. And you're not a psycho at all, I think a lot of us have similar issues when it comes to this.


----------



## Shawn81

tea111red said:


> Yeah, it's nice to get contact w/ people on here till they decide you aren't worth their time anymore and contact stops or dwindles. They can no longer be bothered to care, how great. Yeah, I'm really bitter. I hate being treated like I'm a nothing and have no feelings. It really sucks to have spend so much time talking to someone only to be treated this way. This is the downside of having contact w/ people on the internet, but I guess you could get treated this way irl.
> 
> But anyway, I take this stuff really hard since I am and have been so isolated for so long and am desperate to feel like someone cares or has any interest in me as a person. I'm really vulnerable.
> 
> I just really hate people sometimes. Whenever I come into contact w/ someone new now, online and offline, I feel even more fear of being dropped than I ever did before, and I've always had abandonment issues.
> 
> Lol, sorry for the rant! I feel like a psycho and nutjob for all of this.


You seem totally normal to me. People don't generally believe me when I describe my isolation. I totally understand it.

My contact with people has dwindled, too. I don't hear from people here too often anymore. It's just casual e-friends, so it's understandable, I guess. I never have anything interesting to talk about either, so that's probably a big part of it. I live a simple life. At least I might still get a message from them saying hi every now and then.

I understand the frustration of being treated that way (ref. the Robin Williams quote in my signature). You seem fine to me. Can't see how you'd have any issues building relationships.

I'm around (more than I'm going to admit) if you ever want to say hi.


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> Same here. I've been trying to stay more detached when I start talking to people now, because it's not worth the pain it causes when they grow tired of me, and walk away. And you're not a psycho at all, I think a lot of us have similar issues when it comes to this.


Thanks.  Yeah, I just feel so pathetic and like a loser for getting upset by all of this (and I have over and over and over like a FOOL!!!). I hate how they can just walk away feeling great and have a splendid life, too. I really wish they could feel just how bad they've made me feel.


----------



## tea111red

Shawn81 said:


> You seem totally normal to me. People don't generally believe me when I describe my isolation. I totally understand it.
> 
> My contact with people has dwindled, too. I don't hear from people here too often anymore. It's just casual e-friends, so it's understandable, I guess. I never have anything interesting to talk about either, so that's probably a big part of it. I live a simple life. At least I might still get a message from them saying hi every now and then.
> 
> I understand the frustration of being treated that way (ref. the Robin Williams quote in my signature). You seem fine to me. Can't see how you'd have any issues building relationships.
> 
> I'm around (more than I'm going to admit) if you ever want to say hi.


Haha...maybe I can be normal till I get angry or upset, lol. I do have a lot of trouble building relationships past a point, though. Sadly, no one has the patience for my problems. I kind of feel doomed to be alone for the rest of my life because of this.

I'm glad you understand and thanks for being around. That's really comforting, actually.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

SamanthaStrange said:


> Same here. I've been trying to stay more detached when I start talking to people now, because it's not worth the pain it causes when they grow tired of me, and walk away. And you're not a psycho at all, I think a lot of us have similar issues when it comes to this.





Shawn81 said:


> You seem totally normal to me. People don't generally believe me when I describe my isolation. I totally understand it.
> 
> My contact with people has dwindled, too. I don't hear from people here too often anymore. It's just casual e-friends, so it's understandable, I guess. I never have anything interesting to talk about either, so that's probably a big part of it. I live a simple life. At least I might still get a message from them saying hi every now and then.
> 
> I understand the frustration of being treated that way (ref. the Robin Williams quote in my signature). You seem fine to me. Can't see how you'd have any issues building relationships.
> 
> I'm around (more than I'm going to admit) if you ever want to say hi.





tea111red said:


> Thanks.  Yeah, I just feel so pathetic and like a loser for getting upset by all of this (and I have over and over and over like a FOOL!!!). I hate how they can just walk away feeling great and have a splendid life, too. I really wish they could feel just how bad they've made me feel.


I have a question for all three of you.

Could it be possible that people lost interest in you not because you are boring or they find it easy to walk away, but maybe because they feel they have nothing to offer or feel inadequate themselves? I only ask because I often stop contacting people or don't even contact them much at all because I feel like I'm a bother to them or that they don't like me. Even if someone says they like talking to me, I don't believe it. I think they are just being nice.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> Thanks.  Yeah, I just feel so pathetic and like a loser for getting upset by all of this (and I have over and over and over like a FOOL!!!). I hate how they can just walk away feeling great and have a splendid life, too. I really wish they could feel just how bad they've made me feel.


I share those feelings, I get upset with myself for being so emotionally fragile and vulnerable. I spend a lot of time feeling defective because I get too attached to people, and they don't seem to get attached to me. I have never been able to just turn my feelings off and move on when someone hurts me. Sigh. It sucks to be so sensitive, sometimes.


----------



## tea111red

DiscardYourFear said:


> I have a question for all three of you.
> 
> Could it be possible that people lost interest in you not because you are boring or they find it easy to walk away, but maybe because they feel they have nothing to offer or feel inadequate themselves? I only ask because I often stop contacting people or don't even contact them much at all because I feel like I'm a bother to them or that they don't like me. Even if someone says they like talking to me, I don't believe it. I think they are just being nice.


Nah. I think they lost interest because I'm too scared to meet them irl, which I can actually understand, but this is a site where people are scared to be around other people....what do they expect?!?!?!?! I'd have to feel really comfortable and trust the person to do that, but it's been so extremely hard to get to that point.

Still, though, knowing this person doesn't have the patience for me and my problems (MAJOR, major trust issues, for one) just reminds me of how hopeless of a person I am and how no one will probably ever have the patience for me. It sucks.

Whatever. Maybe everything is my fault and I am the bad guy.


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> I share those feelings, I get upset with myself for being so emotionally fragile and vulnerable. I spend a lot of time feeling defective because I get too attached to people, and they don't seem to get attached to me. I have never been able to just turn my feelings off and move on when someone hurts me. Sigh. It sucks to be so sensitive, sometimes.


Yep, it sucks.


----------



## Ape

I'm happier than I've been in a very long time. This is going to be a great year. Hopefully, the best year ever.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm in pain. I just hit legs again for the 2nd time in 4 days. I can't feel my legs......bambi legs.


----------



## nowtheydontknow

Generally I'm happy and relaxed, but right now I'm a bit worried also, because I just discovered that I might have bipolar disorder develop when I'm older, because my mother kinda has it and now I'm soo worried, because it's just terrible and scaring.....


----------



## Shawn81

DiscardYourFear said:


> I have a question for all three of you.
> 
> Could it be possible that people lost interest in you not because you are boring or they find it easy to walk away, but maybe because they feel they have nothing to offer or feel inadequate themselves? I only ask because I often stop contacting people or don't even contact them much at all because I feel like I'm a bother to them or that they don't like me. Even if someone says they like talking to me, I don't believe it. I think they are just being nice.


It could be both. But with the degree of isolation I have (and my immature interests), even talking with people for a few minutes, I feel like I'm making the conversation awkward. Even some of the socially anxious people I've met here seem to at least have some family or something, if not friends or a SO (I've met some nice people here who are VERY social in certain situations) to spend, say, a holiday with. They'll ask how my Thanksgiving or Christmas or New Years was. I literally sat right here alone all three of those days. I ate ramen, I played video games alone, I laid in bed watching Star Trek. All of those days. And every other day. I have nothing at all to talk about.

I can understand why it makes the conversation awkward. I'd feel weird to trying to talk to me. There's nothing to talk about.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

DiscardYourFear said:


> I have a question for all three of you.
> 
> Could it be possible that people lost interest in you not because you are boring or they find it easy to walk away, but maybe because they feel they have nothing to offer or feel inadequate themselves? I only ask because I often stop contacting people or don't even contact them much at all because I feel like I'm a bother to them or that they don't like me. Even if someone says they like talking to me, I don't believe it. I think they are just being nice.


I don't think so. I have a lot of issues, none of which are easy to deal with, so it's easier to just walk away and not deal with me at all. I'm simply not worth the hassle.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

tea111red said:


> Nah. I think they lost interest because I'm too scared to meet them irl, which I can actually understand, but this is a site where people are scared to be around other people....what do they expect?!?!?!?! I'd have to feel really comfortable and trust the person to do that, but it's been so extremely hard to get to that point.
> 
> Still, though, knowing this person doesn't have the patience for me and my problems (MAJOR, major trust issues, for one) just reminds me of how hopeless of a person I am and how no one will probably ever have the patience for me. It sucks.
> 
> Whatever. Maybe everything is my fault and I am the bad guy.


I'm sure you have very good reasons not to trust people, so you shouldn't beat yourself up for that. Trust is my biggest issue as well. 
I've been learning lately to trust myself, which is making it easier to trust others. Yeah, people can still hurt me and reject me. What I'm learning is to allow myself to feel the pain of that rejection, but to not add to it by blaming myself for it. I'm good enough for me. That's what I tell myself.

I'm worthy of love and so are you. Try to tell yourself that you are worthy of love. I know it's difficult, but just know you are.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

Shawn81 said:


> They'll ask how my Thanksgiving or Christmas or New Years was. I literally sat right here alone all three of those days. I ate ramen, I played video games alone, I laid in bed watching Star Trek. All of those days. And every other day. I have nothing at all to talk about.
> 
> I can understand why it makes the conversation awkward. I'd feel weird to trying to talk to me. There's nothing to talk about.


I sat at home Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years as well. Right now I'm watching the Twilight Zone. Of course, my sister invited me over for the holidays, but I chose not to. I prefer more solitary activities. There is only one person in "real life" that I enjoy talking to, so that is the only person I really associate with.

Oh, and which Star Trek? Do you have Deep Space Nine? I've always wanted to see that series, but it's never on tv. I can only get the original and Next Gen. 


SamanthaStrange said:


> I don't think so. I have a lot of issues, none of which are easy to deal with, so it's easier to just walk away and not deal with me at all. I'm simply not worth the hassle.


Well, the people that want the easy things in life are not the people worth knowing. So you are not easy to deal with? That must mean there is a lot there worth knowing.


----------



## tea111red

DiscardYourFear said:


> I'm sure you have very good reasons not to trust people, so you shouldn't beat yourself up for that. Trust is my biggest issue as well.
> I've been learning lately to trust myself, which is making it easier to trust others. Yeah, people can still hurt me and reject me. What I'm learning is to allow myself to feel the pain of that rejection, but to not add to it by blaming myself for it. I'm good enough for me. That's what I tell myself.
> 
> I'm worthy of love and so are you. Try to tell yourself that you are worthy of love. I know it's difficult, but just know you are.


Yeah, I have been treated really bad in my life at times and have been traumatized as a result so I find it very, very hard to trust. I'm like one of those abused dogs you'd see at a shelter that is just super, super terrified and needs someone to be gentle and caring towards them CONSISTENTLY to not run away and to be able to recover. No one seems to have the time or patience for that, though, so I don't feel like I am worthy. It makes me really sad and hopeless.

Thank you for your message.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

DiscardYourFear said:


> Well, the people that want the easy things in life are not the people worth knowing. So you are not easy to deal with? That must mean there is a lot there worth knowing.


I don't know, I'll have to think that one over. But, thanks.


----------



## Shawn81

DiscardYourFear said:


> Oh, and which Star Trek? Do you have Deep Space Nine? I've always wanted to see that series, but it's never on tv. I can only get the original and Next Gen.


I've seen every episode of all of the series, and the movies. DS9 was good.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

tea111red said:


> Yeah, I have been treated really bad in my life at times and have been traumatized as a result so I find it very, very hard to trust. *I'm like one of those abused dogs you'd see at a shelter that is just super, super terrified and needs someone to be gentle and caring towards them CONSISTENTLY to not run away and to be able to recover.* No one seems to have the time or patience for that, though, so I don't feel like I am worthy. It makes me really sad and hopeless.
> 
> Thank you for your message.


I've been described exactly like that. I just never knew I was that way until someone told me. Maybe you are better off than I was. At least you know. 


SamanthaStrange said:


> I don't know, I'll have to think that one over. But, thanks.


Please do. 


Shawn81 said:


> I've seen every episode of all of the series, and the movies. DS9 was good.


I have not seen all of Star Trek, but I have seen quite a bit, and some day I want to watch all of it in chronological order. That would be sweet! Live long and prosper. :nerd:


----------



## tea111red

DiscardYourFear said:


> I've been described exactly like that. I just never knew I was that way until someone told me. Maybe you are better off than I was. At least you know.


I don't know if I'm better off just for knowing this. I don't think anyone will want to put up w/ me... ever. I'm too much work and probably not a good enough prize.


----------



## jsgt

All this self doubt is just that...doubt. You never know how you look through someone elses eyes. What you may think is a wall, someone else may see as a glass door that they can open. We're always harder on ourself because we're always looking for ways to improve ourselves...but others don't see that. They only see what's before them and will either accept it or disregard it. They don't see it as something that's hopeless and incapable of change(like we see ourself). 
Didn't mean to get all sappy, but ya'll seem pretty down so I thought I'd offer some kind words to lift your spirits. Hopefully some of it made sense.


----------



## Shawn81

Fever Dream said:


> Even the animated series?


Not everything, I guess. Star Trek, TNG, DS9, Voyager, and Enterprise.



DiscardYourFear said:


> I have not seen all of Star Trek, but I have seen quite a bit, and some day I want to watch all of it in chronological order. That would be sweet! Live long and prosper. :nerd:


I want to start watching them again. I watched the 60s one recently. I think I'll vanish for a year or so and just live in bed again watching all of them. Not much else to do.



tea111red said:


> I don't think anyone will want to put up w/ me... ever. I'm too much work and probably not a good enough prize.


Well, we definitely have that belief about ourselves in common.

edited to make sense


----------



## DiscardYourFear

Shawn81 said:


> I want to start watching them again. I watched the 60s one recently. I think I'll vanish for a year or so and just live in bed again watching all of them. Not much else to do.


Build a blanket fort. Then you can eat pizza, play video games, and watch Star Trek without distractions. :grin2:
@jsgt I LOVE the Oscar Wilde quote in your sig.


----------



## Shawn81

DiscardYourFear said:


> Build a blanket fort. Then you can eat pizza, play video games, and watch Star Trek without distractions. :grin2:


Oh, distractions aren't something I need to worry about. Aside from the blanket fort, I already do all that (in a comfy queen size bed).


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> I don't know if I'm better off just for knowing this. I don't think anyone will want to put up w/ me... ever. I'm too much work and probably not a good enough prize.





Shawn81 said:


> Well, we definitely have that belief in common.


I feel the same way.

We are quite the trio in here. :sigh


----------



## tea111red

jsgt said:


> All this self doubt is just that...doubt. You never know how you look through someone elses eyes. What you may think is a wall, someone else may see as a glass door that they can open. We're always harder on ourself because we're always looking for ways to improve ourselves...but others don't see that. They only see what's before them and will either accept it or disregard it. They don't see it as something that's hopeless and incapable of change(like we see ourself).
> Didn't mean to get all sappy, but ya'll seem pretty down so I thought I'd offer some kind words to lift your spirits. Hopefully some of it made sense.


Thanks. Your post was nice to read.



Shawn81 said:


> Well, we definitely have that belief in common.


Yeah, it's too bad we have to think this about ourselves.

You, too, Samantha.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

Shawn81 said:


> Oh, distractions aren't something I need to worry about. Aside from the blanket fort, I already do all that (in a comfy queen size bed).


But blanket forts are fun! :grin2:

I'm curious. You do play MMOs, right? How can you do that with SA?
I attempted to play LOTRO during it's beta stage, but I couldn't because of how anxious I was.
I used to play NWN a lot solo, and a little bit with a friend, but I couldn't get myself to ever feel comfortable with an MMO.


----------



## Maverick34

A lil foggy


----------



## Shawn81

DiscardYourFear said:


> But blanket forts are fun! :grin2:
> 
> I'm curious. You do play MMOs, right? How can you do that with SA?
> I attempted to play LOTRO during it's beta stage, but I couldn't because of how anxious I was.
> I used to play NWN a lot solo, and a little bit with a friend, but I couldn't get myself to ever feel comfortable with an MMO.


I haven't played an MMO in years., I periodically check Warcraft to see what's new, but only playing solo. I played LotRO back when it was new up until a few months before the first expansion. It was really fun. But even then I always played solo unless I couldn't do what I needed to do without a group.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

Shawn81 said:


> I haven't played an MMO in years., I periodically check Warcraft to see what's new, but only playing solo. I played LotRO back when it was new up until a few months before the first expansion. It was really fun. But even then I always played solo unless I couldn't do what I needed to do without a group.


Oh. Never mind, then. Yeah, that was what I was afraid of. What if people asked me to join their group? And I always felt watched in LoTRO. It honestly was worse for me than in real life. Weird.


----------



## jsgt

DiscardYourFear said:


> @*jsgt* I LOVE the Oscar Wilde quote in your sig.


It's fitting, isn't it? It's also a link to a song...which I thought describes me(and others here) pretty well.



tea111red said:


> Thanks. Your post was nice to read.


Glad you thought so and hope you feel better soon. :squeeze


----------



## Shawn81

DiscardYourFear said:


> Oh. Never mind, then. Yeah, that was what I was afraid of. What if people asked me to join their group? And I always felt watched in LoTRO. It honestly was worse for me than in real life. Weird.


Yeah, I don't want to deal with the anxiety anymore. I just stick to solo games.


----------



## tea111red

ugh. i need comfort and to be hugged really bad.


----------



## slowlyimproving

tea111red said:


> ugh. i need comfort and to be hugged really bad.


Me too.


----------



## Alcadaeus

Frustrated at my quietness. At my inability to enjoy social interactions. In not knowing what to say in a timely manner. I want to hide and be alone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## harrison

I feel quite overwhelmed with what I have to do. But also determined to do it.


----------



## tea111red

slowlyimproving said:


> Me too.


it sucks so bad not being able to get it irl. can the stars just align or something? PLEASE.

i'm really sorry and embarrassed i am posting so much in here. i'm being a nuisance.


----------



## Maverick34

I just wanna be with her :serious:


----------



## Don Aman

I feel like I'd like to go everywhere in my pajamas and have a witty reply to anyone who harrasses me about it.


----------



## pinkkawaii

Very very very anxious. I'm literally shaking right now.


----------



## Lilsleepy

Nothing, I ran out of feelings


----------



## ShatteredGlass

like the garbage i am ((((


----------



## uziq

well i'm glad new years is over with.

i'm just confused and tired, now.


----------



## Surly Wurly

gopherinferno said:


> So this post isnt the love of my life or anything *but *i did spend a very intense steamy fortnight with it in paris and i will still think of it fondly well into my forties whilst i lounge on top of a grand piano and sip $500 champagne. This post and i ..will always have paris.


*but*..._but _my posts are still getting more action than me x|


----------



## tea111red

Just so incredibly sad. I don't know how to get myself to feel better.


----------



## NerdlySquared

tea111red said:


> it sucks so bad not being able to get it irl. can the stars just align or something? PLEASE.
> 
> i'm really sorry and embarrassed i am posting so much in here. i'm being a nuisance.


You are not being a nuisance Tea, in fact that discussion you guys had going in here today was really heart wrenching and had me thinking a lot. How similar the things we all ultimately want are, yet how much seems to still divide us all. It's not wrong or a nuisance to want to feel cared for Tea, it's something everyone wants whether they admit it or not. I really hope we can all find some of that in our lives.

In the mean time, :hug:squeeze:hug:squeeze:hug:squeeze


----------



## NerdlySquared

tea111red said:


> Just so incredibly sad. I don't know how to get myself to feel better.












I really hope you can find a path, a distraction, a way through it today Tea 

:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze


----------



## NerdlySquared

don said:


> I feel quite overwhelmed with what I have to do. But also determined to do it.


Good luck I hope it works out


----------



## tea111red

NerdlySquared said:


> You are not being a nuisance Tea, in fact that discussion you guys had going in here today was really heart wrenching and had me thinking a lot. How similar the things we all ultimately want are, yet how much seems to still divide us all. It's not wrong or a nuisance to want to feel cared for Tea, it's something everyone wants whether they admit it or not. I really hope we can all find some of that in our lives.
> 
> In the mean time, :hug:squeeze:hug:squeeze:hug:squeeze


Thanks.

I don't really see anyone caring about me on a deeper level, ever, though. To reach my late 20s and still never really having that leaves me w/ very little hope. My value as a woman is just going to continue to go down and down, too (it's not like I even had much value to begin w/).

I can't see anyone wanting to put up w/ me, either. I just feel very worthless as a person right now.

I don't even know why I'm bothering to complain. It's not going to change anything. I guess it's a way to distract me, though.


----------



## NerdlySquared

tea111red said:


> Thanks.
> 
> I don't really see anyone caring about me on a deeper level, ever, though. To reach my late 20s and still never really having that leaves me w/ very little hope. My value as a woman is just going to continue to go down and down, too (it's not like I even had much value to begin w/).
> 
> I can't see anyone wanting to put up w/ me, either. I just feel very worthless as a person right now.
> 
> I don't even know why I'm bothering to complain. It's not going to change anything. I guess it's a way to distract me, though.


You are not worthless as a person Tea, you just aren't. I do understand your fears  but if talking about it takes your mind off feeling it for just a moment then it's worth it. :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

NerdlySquared said:


> You are not worthless as a person Tea, you just aren't. I do understand your fears  but if talking about it takes your mind off feeling it for just a moment then it's worth it. :squeeze


Yeah, well, when other people don't value my company then it makes me believe I am worthless.


----------



## Shawn81

Down. Bored.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

tea111red said:


> Thanks.
> 
> I don't really see anyone caring about me on a deeper level, ever, though. To reach my late 20s and still never really having that leaves me w/ very little hope. My value as a woman is just going to continue to go down and down, too (it's not like I even had much value to begin w/).
> 
> I can't see anyone wanting to put up w/ me, either. I just feel very worthless as a person right now.
> 
> I don't even know why I'm bothering to complain. It's not going to change anything. I guess it's a way to distract me, though.


You sound so much like how I used to. And I still do feel the same things sometimes. If you have little value as a woman, then think how I feel at 44, living with my mom, trying to pay off debt that was just stupid of me to accrue, working part-time in retail at an entry level position. I should think of myself as worthless, and sometimes I do, but it's not the truth.

Your worth is not measured by how much you have, in looks or money, relationships or careers, but in how you see yourself. I see you as worthy. I hope you can see yourself like that. I believe in you.  :squeeze


----------



## TryingMara

Crappy, tired.


----------



## Orbiter

Don't know.
Earned a bit of money through doing errands. Thinking about getting some weed.


----------



## tea111red

DiscardYourFear said:


> Your worth is not measured by how much you have, in looks or money, relationships or careers, but in how you see yourself. I see you as worthy. I hope you can see yourself like that. I believe in you.  :squeeze


Hmm. Sometimes I can see myself in a good light, but when I feel rejected and I think about I have no one significant in my life then I start to feel worthless. I question if I really have any good qualities or if those qualities even make up for my bad ones.

I don't want to feel/be alone. I'd have to be worth something to others to not be alone.

Thanks for what you said, though. It did make me feel better.


----------



## Findedeux

I'm starting to get lines under my eyes. 

And even after losing 30 pounds I still have a smidge of love handles.

Getting old sucks.


----------



## bad baby

homesick


----------



## DiscardYourFear

tea111red said:


> Hmm. Sometimes I can see myself in a good light, but when I feel rejected and I think about I have no one significant in my life then I start to feel worthless. I question if I really have any good qualities or if those qualities even make up for my bad ones.
> 
> I don't want to feel/be alone. I'd have to be worth something to others to not be alone.
> 
> Thanks for what you said, though. It did make me feel better.


I understand not wanting to feel/be alone. And believe me, if you find worth in yourself, you will attract the right people, and you will have worth to them. We all want to be loved and validated. I know I do.

I know what I say seems simple, but it certainly isn't. It's an every day struggle for me. I am glad that I did make you feel better. I only give to others what I want for myself. :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

DiscardYourFear said:


> I understand not wanting to feel/be alone. And believe me, if you find worth in yourself, you will attract the right people, and you will have worth to them. We all want to be loved and validated. I know I do.
> 
> I know what I say seems simple, but it certainly isn't. It's an every day struggle for me. I am glad that I did make you feel better. I only give to others what I want for myself. :squeeze


Yeah, you are right in saying people want to be loved and validated. I crave that a lot.

That's good that you try to give to others what you want for yourself. I try to do that, too (except when angry, lol).


----------



## Shybooknerd2000

Eh I feel like I'm being pulled by horses going in different directions... I'm the middle child in my family and am the most responsible. Whenever my older sister and I go places I end up spending all my money for everything she wants. She's graduating high school this year and had no idea what she wants to be and where to go. She has no job and no money(well, she looses all the money she has). Sometimes it feels that my entire life is going to be based on helping her out with financial problems. Honestly I don't know what to do with this, she always expects me to pay for her since I have money. And I won't always be there for her get she thinks all she needs is our dad and me to pay her through life. Sorry, I'm done with my little rant.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

tea111red said:


> Yeah, you are right in saying people want to be loved and validated. I crave that a lot.
> 
> That's good that you try to give to others what you want for yourself. I try to do that, too (except when angry, lol).


I bet when you get angry you feel awful about it afterwards, right?
I always end up crying after I get angry and then get angry with myself for getting angry. lol
It's a vicious cycle. I treat other people way better than I treat myself.
Are you like that?


----------



## Shawn81

Getting really irritated about being indirectly shamed by people who won't take responsibility for their own decisions.

And hungry. So I'm going to get Super Nachos.


----------



## tea111red

DiscardYourFear said:


> I bet when you get angry you feel awful about it afterwards, right?
> I always end up crying after I get angry and then get angry with myself for getting angry. lol
> It's a vicious cycle. I treat other people way better than I treat myself.
> Are you like that?


Yeah, if I care about the person then I feel bad and want to make things good again. I don't like staying angry at people or having them stay angry at me.

My temper is pretty explosive, though. That's one really negative thing about me. I've really struggled in learning how to express my anger properly or w/o causing so much damage.


----------



## LostinReverie

Oh my goodness, my soul is bleeding.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

tea111red said:


> Yeah, if I care about the person then I feel bad and want to make things good again. I don't like staying angry at people or having them stay angry at me.
> 
> My temper is pretty explosive, though. That's one really negative thing about me. I've really struggled in learning how to express my anger properly or w/o causing so much damage.


Oh, my temper is, too. The closer I am to a person, the more I will let it out. But I understand it better. I get angry because I am anxious or on edge, and so I lash out at others in defensiveness. It's not pretty. :laugh:


LostInReverie said:


> Oh my goodness, my soul is bleeding.


I hope you are okay. :squeeze


----------



## KILOBRAVO

fine, kinda happy today


----------



## tea111red

DiscardYourFear said:


> Oh, my temper is, too. The closer I am to a person, the more I will let it out. But I understand it better. I get angry because I am anxious or on edge, and so I lash out at others in defensiveness. It's not pretty. :laugh:


Yeah...all of what you wrote sounds like me, lol.


----------



## SilkyJay

Feel like a turd that I deleted my whole friends list. Sending a few invites out to people, feel free to accept or not. No hard feelings, either way it's nothing personal... Just had a bad few days and well my buddy list was taken out on. : /


----------



## tea111red

I feel motivated now.


----------



## LostinReverie

DiscardYourFear said:


> I hope you are okay. :squeeze


I'll live.. I just feel like I tore out a piece of my self and threw it out the window.


----------



## NerdlySquared

LostInReverie said:


> I'll live.. I just feel like I tore out a piece of my self and threw it out the window.


Oahhh  I hope you left enough to still be you and I hope you'll be ok.


----------



## NerdlySquared

tea111red said:


> I feel motivated now.


Yayyy  Good for you Tea


----------



## NerdlySquared

KILOBRAVO said:


> fine, kinda happy today


Awesomeness, I hope every day is like that for you


----------



## TurningPoint

I feel like I'm never going to learn from my mistakes/don't want it _(to be happy)_.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Shawn81 said:


> Getting really irritated about being indirectly shamed by people who won't take responsibility for their own decisions.
> 
> And hungry. So I'm going to get Super Nachos.


Hope the nachos are good and far more plentiful than the shamings today


----------



## mattmc

Despondent


----------



## KILOBRAVO

NerdlySquared said:


> Awesomeness, I hope every day is like that for you


yay. thats nice of you. well.. on the days where I haven't felt so good.... I don't come here and complain.. so I try to be optimistic. plus... happy new year to you


----------



## uziq

feel awkward. I don't know how to communicate on this facebook sht. what was I thinking when I reopened it?


----------



## Shawn81

Irritated. Bored. Dull.


----------



## unemployment simulator

**** me I am ****ed right now lol.


----------



## lonerroom

Still feeling so weird about the new year, feeling in a dream-like state, cannot believe where Oliverria went to the woods to retrieve the well waters of the city of crying shoes.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

Still feeling depressed, 3rd day in a row. I am fearing it will last. Trying to think of something to think whenever I feel terrible.


----------



## Crisigv

My right arm and wrist have been sore all day. There was one point in the day when it felt like my chest was being pricked by tiny needles.


----------



## NerdlySquared

KILOBRAVO said:


> yay. thats nice of you. well.. on the days where I haven't felt so good.... I don't come here and complain.. so I try to be optimistic. plus... happy new year to you


It's a good attitude to have for sure, many things seem to be easier while staying positive  Everyone has different ways of dealing with difficult times, I am glad you found one that works for you  Thank you very much for the wishes, a happy new year to you as well!


----------



## ShatteredGlass

slightly nauseated for some reason. it's possible that i'm having symptoms from switching generics of my medication. i had diarrhea yesterday, and again today. kind of weird.


----------



## LostinReverie

NerdlySquared said:


> Oahhh  I hope you left enough to still be you and I hope you'll be ok.


For the most part. A fairly ashamed me. FYI, and this is for everyone, Mt Dew Livewire is so much better than Sunkist. Choose your sodas wisely.


----------



## knightofdespair

LostInReverie said:


> For the most part. A fairly ashamed me. FYI, and this is for everyone, Mt Dew Livewire is so much better than Sunkist. Choose your sodas wisely.












http://southpark.wikia.com/wiki/Mountain_Dew



> In "I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining", Cartman was excessively drinking Mountain Dew, and its variants, in order to cope with the various tour groups. Combined with his stomach contents from his previous night's dinner, this gave him severe flatulence and later, severe diarrhea. The aforementioned diarrhea later attracted beavers, resulting in the boys having to fight them off.


----------



## LostinReverie

knightofdespair said:


>


That's great, now you can have two


----------



## Shawn81

Stupid and useless.


----------



## Swagonite

Uninstalled WoW feeling good !


----------



## knightofdespair

LostInReverie said:


> That's great, now you can have two


Did you ever see that episode, hilarious!


----------



## LostinReverie

knightofdespair said:


> Did you ever see that episode, hilarious!


You just murdered 2 1/2 of my brain cells, thanks. :grin2:


----------



## knightofdespair

LostInReverie said:


> You just murdered 2 1/2 of my brain cells, thanks. :grin2:


The last 10 minutes of the episode are live action, including a part with Cartman crapping off the side of the boat. I saw it about a month ago and laughed for the whole 10 minutes straight..


----------



## pinkkawaii

Like I'm about to die


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

This forum is making me worse. I don't like being able to read about everyone's horrible lives. I don't know, maybe it's not. I feel like every time I peek out of my depression and my emotions come back I can't handle it. Emotions. It's just way too painful to think about other people. Sometimes I read things on here and I think, how the **** are you so dumb and pathetic?! But not like that, not in a mean way. It makes me sad. I want to tell them to give up and to be more cynical, because I don't get hurt like they do, but I don't know, it's safer to say nothing because even saying that would hurt them more.


----------



## slowlyimproving

Yeah, I have a few great friends. But, I need something more. Someone that I can connect with in a deep and powerful way.


----------



## mkarina

Frustratedddddd. Filled with anxiety at 3:55am . when you can't sleep bc ur over thinking too much


----------



## SilkyJay

I don't feel well at all. I just threw up. : ( Thought ya'll should know.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Swagonite said:


> Uninstalled WoW feeling good !


Stay strong


----------



## NerdlySquared

LostInReverie said:


> For the most part. A fairly ashamed me. FYI, and this is for everyone, Mt Dew Livewire is so much better than Sunkist. Choose your sodas wisely.


I am glad you're feeling better  Is this the first volley in a new soft drink war?  Where will it end ? Haha


----------



## LostinReverie

NerdlySquared said:


> I am glad you're feeling better  Is this the first volley in a new soft drink war?  Where will it end ? Haha


Ha, no, just what I was thinking at that moment and randomly stating my thoughts out loud is how I learned to be more verbal as an adult.


----------



## NerdlySquared

LostInReverie said:


> Ha, no, just what I was thinking at that moment and randomly stating my thoughts out loud is how I learned to be more verbal as an adult.


Makes sense  But, I think the countless innocent sodas that are sure to perish in this now inevitable soda conflict will NOT understand 

 Have a good morning Miss L.  I hope the day treats you right


----------



## Shawn81

A bit sad.


----------



## slyfox

Lazy and hopeless


----------



## lkkxm

absolutely ****ty and hopeless.im an unloveable piece of crap


----------



## TryingMara

Depressed, unmotivated, nervous.


----------



## tea111red

Anxious...


----------



## lkkxm

anxious and lonely af


----------



## Nekomata

Ill and restless.


----------



## uziq

tired and aimless


----------



## zonebox

Last week some sort of flu was beating me up, this week I got some sort of cold and lost a good portion of my voice, but it seems to be coming back very slowly. I'm doing okay, things have been a bit hectic at work, money has been a bit tight due to Christmas, but we will crawl out of this slowly, and be back on our feet.

Outside of low funds, the cold and flu, things are going pretty well :lol I have a few movies that I am going to watch later on, perhaps I'll have a little campfire in the backyard when it gets darker out. I have a bit of a book left to read, so I have that going for me, and I also have tomorrow off. I would have a few beers, but I need to let my body recover a bit. 

Yeah, things are pretty good.


----------



## tea111red

hideous.


----------



## Shawn81

Resigned to sitting here alone for another year.


----------



## Barakiel

Things could be better


----------



## tea111red

unmotivated.


----------



## jsgt

They put onions on my burger. Other than that...apathetic.


----------



## Shawn81

Anxious. Frustrated.


----------



## TryingMara

Cold, nervous and stressed.


----------



## Shawn81

Ice cold thinking about past awkward experiences.


----------



## uziq

extremely tired, sad, confused


----------



## MCHB

Down. I was spiraling earlier, but eh...it passed. Now I'm just down. :|


----------



## Runup2020

I don't know how I feel. It's like I have no feeling. I wish I could feel. I wish I could feel the desire in my heart to follow what I want and do what I need to do to achieve it. I guess I'm feeling lost, confused and hopeless. I wish I had a more fulfilling life with friends that truly cherished me despite me being in a rut. I wish someone understood what I'm going through isn't a joke, and instead of someone saying "oh your fine" or "haha yeah.." That someone would actually say "I'm here for you, I see your struggle and I'll help you battle through this." It sucks trying to find real friends when you're in a weird mental state. Jydschxfjjdvbhxjvtufbb


----------



## yurt

sad my work break is over.. I enjoyed sleeping in, now back to waking up at 4 am


----------



## Alcadaeus

Unusually irritable with the smallest things. Yelled "why is everything annoying" a few minutes ago o.o


----------



## TenYears

Used, abused and confused. But. Yeah. Not so much confused. It just...happened again, I guess. I got used by yet another female, she used me to make herself feel good, she got an ego boost, I wanted more than she did, and she was out of there. What kind of a p~ssy (male or female) does that, and doesn't admit to how they really feel right away? I mean, come one. At least be honest. If all you wanted was an ego boost or to get off, then just admit that that's all you want. And to think it was from someone here on SAS.


Ffs.


----------



## halfly

like i'll never connect with anyone or anything, and as though i'll never become something


----------



## Lilsleepy

I realize i am part time SAS victim. I always go out, but once it kicks in, I just go home. Lolol. I have insomnia, so when I get home, I want to be out. The depression part is generally 3, 4 times a week. I get bored easily. I give myself many chances so I keep doing the same things. I feel pretty good today, and I didn't go out for 4 days. It's ridiculous.


----------



## andretti

tired but cant sleep. i quit doing something recently and since then its been such a hassle to fall asleep.


----------



## uziq

I have no energy, am dead tired, and want to be loved


----------



## LostinReverie

TenYears said:


> Used, abused and confused. But. Yeah. Not so much confused. It just...happened again, I guess. I got used by yet another female, she used me to make herself feel good, she got an ego boost, I wanted more than she did, and she was out of there. What kind of a p~ssy (male or female) does that, and doesn't admit to how they really feel right away? I mean, come one. At least be honest. If all you wanted was an ego boost or to get off, then just admit that that's all you want. And to think it was from someone here on SAS.
> 
> Ffs.


Hmmm....sounds familiar 

Sorry, bud. People suck.


----------



## LostinReverie

Shawn81 said:


> Resigned to sitting here alone for another year.


Offer still stands


----------



## Perkins

I feel hopeless but I'm trying to tell myself I'm not and these hurdles aren't as insurmountable as they seem. Still, given what's been going on, I can't help but feel like I am. Especially now.


----------



## Charmeleon

ugh I'm starving


----------



## LostinReverie

Fighting depression


----------



## Lilsleepy

Fight or flight. Glad u chose fight


----------



## tea111red

I want to be at peace.


----------



## probably offline

* fluffy snow outside my window ✔
* coffee next to me ✔
* cat sleeping behind me ✔
* boyfriend sleeping and looking like a cat ✔
* a good decision made about wether I should keep studying or not/an instant job opportunity if I don't

Everything would be perfect right now if I could check them all.


----------



## jsgt

TenYears said:


> Used, abused and confused. But. Yeah. Not so much confused. It just...happened again, I guess. I got used by yet another female, she used me to make herself feel good, she got an ego boost, I wanted more than she did, and she was out of there. What kind of a p~ssy (male or female) does that, and doesn't admit to how they really feel right away? I mean, come one. At least be honest. If all you wanted was an ego boost or to get off, then just admit that that's all you want. And to think it was from someone here on SAS.
> 
> Ffs.


Was this the person you went to visit? Damn man, sorry to hear. Been there and done that. No fun.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depression is outweighing anxiety at the moment.


----------



## SilkyJay

I feel like such a rude dikface right now. Seriously i suk big time. I overthink things way too much and my feelings and emotions can be moved way too easily it seems. But understandably so right now with how full my plate is. I just want to say sorry. Just need some space.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling okay at the moment, which is weird.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

mood-wise i.m fine, was kinda happy today. in fact... a older woman told me i was good looking .. and another young woman .. i caught her really looking at me as when walked past.... then i caught her, and she had a cheeky but nice smile on her face hahaha i smiled too..

but right now i think my dinner was a bit too much, or it was a bit too oily. i didn't even feel hungry despite cooking it .... and i feel a bit yukky.. altho it will go away.


----------



## hellollama

I feel energetic and giddy about the first day of class today. Ready to learn.


----------



## egmeceg

Lonely


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, annoyed, cold, burnout, lonely, spaced out


----------



## tea111red

I'm really worried about future events.


----------



## intheshadows

Empty


----------



## DiscardYourFear

Weirded out.


----------



## Shawn81

Lonely. Tired. Cold.


----------



## likeaspacemonkey

Kinda sad, and my favoritest coping method is out for at least like a week.


----------



## uziq

lost and lonely


----------



## tea111red

......


----------



## rdrr

Nagging migraine all day long


----------



## M0rbid

horny


----------



## CY666777

All i want is to be happy but society wont allow me to be. I don't fit in to this society. I gave up on my dreams many many years ago. All thats left is to die. I am so ready to move on but I can't leave my son even though he hardly needs me anymore. The funny thing is it doesn't take much to make me happy anymore. But it's impossible for me to make friends. I can never become comfortable around someone to get to know them. I don't even know what you say to people. So I suffer through my job come home and sit alone day after day. Drugs are my only sanity, my only happiness. The only thing that makes the days ok but even that doesn't work anymore. Almost every day i wonder when will this life be over. I'm ready for it to be over to move on. And this time i'm not coming back for a long long time and only if god promises me it will be a good life. All my life I've had this memory of heaven. There was this constant unconditonal love from everyone and I loved them. Then I was with God picking my parents and God said It's going to be hard are you sure you want this. I was so proud to do it for God. I had no doubts. I wanted it really bad. But I was so wrong. I can't do this . I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to go home.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Hopeless,
Falling apart,
Life a hard art,
Something I can't push in on a cart,
The thought is causing me to fart.
Depression Sucks.

Love never comes,
Love never goes,
I can't find the flow.
Feeling Empty Sucks.


----------



## Racer1442

I'm new here. I just turned 58 divorced for a couple yrs. ago no kids. I lost my parents 20 plus years ago both in their early 60's and I have lived for the most part on my own. I recently lost a cousin in his early 60's and I have for the past year or so been thinking about dying myself and I'm healthy. I am afraid to enter a relationship, buy a home, adopt pets or anything like that. I'm just so afraid that won't be around to enjoy any of it. I'm not sure if this is the place to discuss but I have to start someplace. Thank you.....


----------



## Racer1442

Racer1442 said:


> I'm new here. I just turned 58 divorced for a couple yrs. ago no kids. I lost my parents 20 plus years ago both in their early 60's and I have lived for the most part on my own. I recently lost a cousin in his early 60's and I have for the past year or so been thinking about dying myself and I'm healthy. I am afraid to enter a relationship, buy a home, adopt pets or anything like that. I'm just so afraid that won't be around to enjoy any of it. I'm not sure if this is the place to discuss but I have to start someplace. Thank you.....


How can,I stop worring my life away?


----------



## lkkxm

Lower than dirt. Uncomfortable. Awkward. Sad, but less than earlier so that's good.


----------



## Shawn81

Ugh.


----------



## KelsKels

Dreading work tomorrow even though it isn't a long day. Getting real burnt out.


----------



## newbornmind

Slightly tense after a busy day of work, but accepting


----------



## EvonneEzell

Goofy.


----------



## bad baby

like a massive failure, disappointed in myself. i gave in to my anxiety today. coasted when i could've stepped up. sometimes i really don't understand myself at all. i'm an idiot


----------



## Kevin001

Determined I guess. 2016 has to be better than 2015, just has to be.


----------



## Shawn81

Worried.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious
Sad
Lonely
Annoyed
Tired
Grumpy


----------



## LostinReverie

Annoyed by CBS giving me glitchy videos and turbotax spamming me. I do not LIKE figuring out what numbers go where, THANK YOU. I will get to it EVENTUALLY.


----------



## tea111red

The rain got me out the mood to do what I wanted to do so now I'm stuck being bored.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling a little down today.


----------



## Shawn81

Disappointed. Off until Sunday, so ready to just sit here in this chair being lonely for four days. Same as every week.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Unworthy

Sent from my SGH-T599V using Tapatalk


----------



## Littlekittenxx

I'm terrified of going to college tomorrow. I'm going to be stuck in a dorm with someone who is probably going to hate me and find me gross. I am gross and I hate me so why shouldn't they? I'm so tired and I feel like if it gets worse I'll do bad things again


----------



## Barakiel

probably more confused than anything else rn


----------



## naptime

Feeling exhausted


----------



## tea111red

.....


----------



## Shawn81

^


----------



## Nozz

I'm really irritable right now. It's for a good reason(diet), but it sucks in the moment.


----------



## P1e2

Hungry for dinner and want to go sleep early since went to bed a little bit late last night. Cold weather can make me almost want to hibernate, stay inside, watch favorite tv shows, play computer games, nap, eat, repeat. Did exercise yesterday for an hour or more and walked today.


----------



## Shawn81

Regretful.


----------



## Maverick34

A lil down but I still appreciate her


----------



## silversoul

Nervous


----------



## Crisigv

Restless and tired, but my cat is fast asleep in the centre of my bed.


----------



## TryingMara

Not great.


----------



## bigbandzmisaga

I feel like i'm not doing things right.


----------



## NerdlySquared

TryingMara said:


> Not great.


I really hope you feel better Mara


----------



## Kevin001

Pretty good at the moment. Just have to stay positive the rest of the day.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Kevin001 said:


> Pretty good at the moment. Just have to stay positive the rest of the day.


That's awesome Kevin, good lucks to you today


----------



## Kevin001

NerdlySquared said:


> That's awesome Kevin, good lucks to you today


Thanks .


----------



## Shawn81

Horrible. I can't stop thinking about something and it's making me very sad.


----------



## Alcadaeus

I gave a late christmas gift to someone and it felt great


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Kinda crappy, I have a stomach ache, and I didn't sleep well last night.


----------



## andretti

cold as hell. hate this damn weather but other then i'm chill. My life is good i cant complain right now. My social anxiety is improving , im talking to more people while out and about. 
Sore as hell from the gym but im feeling good.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

allright... I will be making some improvements , but has to wait until weekend...


----------



## SilkyJay

skinny. my mom's friend just stopped by as my mom is out of town for the month and I'm over looking after the cat and the house. And shes like you look like you've lost weight. And I'm thinking to myself well I'm trying to do the opposite... buut uhh thx? : (


----------



## Shawn81

Sad, lonely, boo hoo, etc.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mixed bag


----------



## Avo91

Lonely


----------



## DiscardYourFear

Somebody kill me, please.


----------



## zonebox

Relaxed, loved, and appreciative of life. I'm enjoying a coffee with some almond milk, a splash of vanilla and splenda, I have incense in my burner bringing up a fairly cool trail of smoke, and to either side of that two candles flickering away. My puppy is sitting next to me, keeping me warm, occasionally giving me kisses on my arm, and I have some mellow music playing. 

I feel really good right now. Work was a bit stressful, but that is done with for now, I get to relax and enjoy the smaller things.


----------



## uziq

terrible. think I'm going to go lay face down on my bed and force myself to cry


----------



## anxious87

Frustrated. I let worrying get to me again.


----------



## Cyan22

Uncertain


----------



## Shawn81

:blank


----------



## Maverick34

Worried


----------



## Shawn81

Regretful. Took a nap. Already have enough insomnia issues at night, and I just made it way worse.


----------



## Shawn81

Really lonely.


----------



## uziq

strangely relieved, but I know it's only temporary


----------



## Shawn81

Ashamed.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

feel like ****. just like yesterday; just like tomorrow. i've still yet to cry the past 7 days of 2016. that contributes to a total of a few months of dry eyes.

my self esteem has really taken a toll lately. my emotional state... i don't even know. i really don't. it's like i'm depressed as **** but my brain can't be bothered actually going the full distance in informing me.

i'm also still confused. so, so confused. why can't i find answers to my abstract, ambiguous questions. why is my sense of self so unstable. why am i so hollow yet emotionally hypersensitive. why am i so impulsive and stupid.

i'm going to tell my psychiatrist next month that i think i have borderline personality disorder. fingers crossed his response doesn't make my eyes roll.


----------



## Shawn81

Lonely, hopeless, regretting almost every post or conversation I've had and f***ed up because of my issues.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

More grumpy than usual because someone called and woke me up way too early. Plus, the usual ... anxious, sad, lonely, meh. :blank


----------



## Emberdragoness

I'm feeling pretty good about my social skills. 
Every day, I try to socialize and become less awkward. Sometimes the progress is really slow, and sometimes I say something stupid and relive the moment in my head over and over again, but when I look back on past interactions I realize how much I've improved. 
I've gotten to the point where I don't feel very anxious when speaking to strangers, classmates, etc, but I can't do presentations without breaking down. I'm working to overcome this. 
Guys, you CAN improve. It takes lots of hard work and you will screw up and panic along the way but you have family, friends, this forum, etc for lots of support! Never give up!


----------



## scarlet harlot

Jittery, but looking forward to a nice glass of wine.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely and left out


----------



## Kevin001

I have a little headache, other than that I feel pretty lethargic.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

more or less fine.... relaxed now


----------



## MCHB

Tired; it was a busy day, but I stormed through the projects that I had to get done in class! Honestly, lathe's are my new favorite tool, lol!


----------



## anxious87

Overwhelmed


----------



## Shawn81

Irritated.


----------



## Shawn81

Hot. And cold. And tired. But restless. And I've had a headache all day.


----------



## uziq

like a beta orbiter


----------



## gopherinferno

I feel disappointed at how boring this site has been lately. Why yall gotta suck like this?


----------



## Ineko

I've been having that anxious depression at night again. I don't sleep and feel safe and every sound wakes me up or gets my heart rate up. I'm fine during the day, but the nights are hard again. I hate being alone here at night.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad
Annoying
Boring
Insecure


----------



## Maverick34

I feel like I'm caught between wakefulness & sleep :|


----------



## Cletis

Hungry


----------



## Dark Jewel

Hopeless.


----------



## harrison

Surprisingly good.


----------



## yurt

so so alone


----------



## DiscardYourFear

Vulnerable, inferior, unworthy.


----------



## TenYears

Lonely. Missing people. Everyone just....leaves.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

TenYears said:


> Lonely. Missing people. Everyone just....leaves.


I'm still here, but I'm not worth much.
Well, I don't feel worthy right now, anyway.


----------



## Shawn81

The same as the last several posts.


----------



## TenYears

DiscardYourFear said:


> I'm still here, but I'm not worth much.
> Well, I don't feel worthy right now, anyway.


Don't say that. Some days I feel like you're the only one I can talk to (even on this godforsaken forum). You matter, a whole, whole lot to a whole lot of people. I think we just lose sight of that sometimes, idk....I do, anyways.

If you really need them I have some self-affirmation exercises we can do in front of the mirror lol


----------



## Charmeleon

Tired, crappy & sad like usual


----------



## DiscardYourFear

TenYears said:


> Don't say that. Some days I feel like you're the only one I can talk to (even on this godforsaken forum). You matter, a whole, whole lot to a whole lot of people.


Exactly how many people are inside that head of yours, TenYears?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious
Sad
Lonely
Scarred
Broken
Vulnerable
Confused


----------



## Prince Adrian

restless, do this or that? do that now or then? what shall I do tomorrow? where should I stay tomorrow? mixed soup of emotions interfered with occasional slight sight of source of freedom.. 

something within knows where to go.. but to bring that up to the surface is another matter...


----------



## Crisigv

A little sad today.


----------



## Kevin001

Very stagnant. I feel like I'm not improving fast enough and I'm not pushing myself enough.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

happy-ish.... but quite sleepy now because i was up earlier today and i didnt sleep as early as i meant to last night.


----------



## Shawn81

Lost.


----------



## sweetSacrifice

Scared. Why am I scared all the time?

Sent from my little fingers to your face


----------



## MCHB

Mellow. Enjoying my precious coffee.:cup


----------



## CNikki

Numb.


----------



## zonebox

Doing pretty good, I made an uber sweet awesome picture to show just how good I am feelin now.








My art skills are impressive, are they not?


----------



## Baldy Nohairs

Alright, a little depressed... almost cried at last night for the first time in 6 years. _almost._


----------



## uziq

embarrassed and guilty


----------



## Cmasch

I'm feeling with my hands. No, but super mellow .


----------



## Maverick34

Crisigv said:


> A little sad today.


:hug


----------



## vela

Sad, scared, and alone..


----------



## Shawn81

:|


----------



## ShatteredGlass

crying over my lack of friends of course!!! : )))))))


----------



## Charmeleon

feels like im dying or something


----------



## estse

A bout time to stop existing.


----------



## Shawn81

Lonely as hell.


----------



## LostinReverie

I pulled out three gloves and I only have two hands, so now I don't know what to do with the third one and I'm dying inside.


----------



## Shawn81

Lonely, hopeless, tired, annoyed by insomnia.


----------



## slyfox

Depressed and too needy


----------



## Cherrycarmine

I'm feel okay so far


----------



## LostinReverie

Have a date to watch princess bride tomorrow... feel like skipping.


----------



## Shawn81

Sad Pepe.


----------



## MCHB

LostInReverie said:


> Have a date to watch princess bride tomorrow... feel like skipping.


That's awesome! Let us know how it goes!:grin2:

Oh, and I'm freaking tired today; didn't sleep very good, but I'll feel more awake once I get mobile!


----------



## LostinReverie

MBwelder said:


> That's awesome! Let us know how it goes!:grin2:
> 
> Oh, and I'm freaking tired today; didn't sleep very good, but I'll feel more awake once I get mobile!


Just an online date, but I'm still super excited.

Caffeine helps.. do the dew, dude.


----------



## Kevin001

Very fatigued and unmotivated.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

happy and satisfied with myself. i have worked hard today... and have some benefit to gain from it.


----------



## Shawn81

Relieved that I was motivated (or restless) enough to clean all my tile floors and vacuum the rugs, dust, etc.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Shawn81 said:


> Relieved that I was motivated (or restless) enough to clean all my tile floors and vacuum the rugs, dust, etc.


Good job, now come over and clean my apartment.


----------



## Shawn81

SamanthaStrange said:


> Good job, now come over and clean my apartment.


I was on my way, but I didn't know where I was going and got lost. Oh well. It's the thought that counts.


----------



## Shawn81

Depressed, lonely, and hopeless, progressing just like it seems to every evening.


----------



## andretti

like ish. im sick as hell right now. feel weak , light headed and my stomach hurts like crazy. i might be pregnant.


----------



## tea111red

....


----------



## odetoanoddity

Feeling better than I was this morning. Felt quite stressed out, but spoke to a counsellor about it and that has helped. Now I just feel a little tired.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Shawn81

The usual. As bored and lonely as I am, I don't want to go back to work tomorrow.


----------



## Andras96

it was a mistake logging back in here, no one wants me here


----------



## uziq

no feels, just tired.


----------



## Odinn

Dreadful


----------



## Greyx

Tired, half sad and half nothing. Just want to sleep all day but I can't because I'm expected to visit family later.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Feeling like I should be sleeping and not thinking. I need to find a way to be at peace with myself again, to find that contentment I have been misplacing lately. :rain I have no doubt I will find it again  The path on the way is just filled with sharp thorns sometimes, but needs to be walked regardless. :tiptoe


----------



## TryingMara

NerdlySquared said:


> Feeling like I should be sleeping and not thinking. I need to find a way to be at peace with myself again, to find that contentment I have been misplacing lately. :rain I have no doubt I will find it again  The path on the way is just filled with sharp thorns sometimes, but needs to be walked regardless. :tiptoe


:squeeze. You'll find it again. You're of the most optimistic and hard working people I know..I have no doubt you'll get through this rough patch and be on your way to inner peace again.. Keep at it . Lack of sleep and strange sleep schedules can mess with your mind and thinking patterns..so be sure to get some rest.


----------



## yurt

rejected and alone


----------



## tea111red

I saw a man die at work the other day and the image of him taking his last breath, him passing away, and the moments after keep replaying over and over in my head. The whole 6 hrs I was there actually keeps replaying in my head, but his final moments especially. Things feel surreal.


----------



## zonebox

tea111red said:


> I saw a man die at work the other day and the image of him taking his last breath, him passing away, and the moments after keep replaying over and over in my head. The whole 6 hrs I was there actually keeps replaying in my head, but his final moments especially. Things feel surreal.


I'm sorry you had to see that, it must have been awful.


----------



## tea111red

zonebox said:


> I'm sorry you had to see that, it must have been awful.


Well, it's expected in my line of work...it was a matter of time before I was put in this situation. I had worked w/ other people that were within days of dying, but had never been w/ someone in their final hours. When I came in that day I was told the man was probably going to pass so I was just monitoring him for the inevitable. I was the only one there and responsible for notifying people of his passing as well. I was surprised I was pretty calm in that situation....I guess I had no choice but to be. Very weird to go through that when you are not used to it, though.

I'm sure I won't be forgetting that day for a long time.


----------



## ND 123

feel like eating a bunch of junk food but cant.


----------



## Charmeleon

Still awful but slightly better then yesterday at least.


----------



## Shawn81

Like I just don't matter to anyone.


----------



## Ineko

Shawn81 said:


> Like I just don't matter to anyone.


Not true at all. :wink2:


----------



## LostinReverie

I ****ibg hate myself. I need to buy a gun, like, ASAP.


----------



## tea111red

LostInReverie said:


> I ****ibg hate myself. I need to buy a gun, like, ASAP.


noooooo.


----------



## tea111red

Anxious for time to pass.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I'm so annoying... I annoy myself. 

I feel like I don't even know how to have a conversation anymore. 

:um


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> I feel like I don't even know how to have a conversation anymore.
> 
> :um


man, same here.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

SamanthaStrange said:


> I feel like I don't even know how to have a conversation anymore.
> 
> :um





tea111red said:


> man, same here.


I agree, I mean I told him that broccoli and ice cream are just not a good combination, but no one ever listens to me. So then...

Oh...oops...what were you talking about?

See what I did there? :grin2:


----------



## KILOBRAVO

fine.... relaxed... theres nothing to worry about ....


----------



## Cyan22

Resigned


----------



## SamanthaStrange

DiscardYourFear said:


> I agree, I mean I told him that broccoli and ice cream are just not a good combination, but no one ever listens to me. So then...
> 
> Oh...oops...what were you talking about?
> 
> See what I did there? :grin2:


----------



## jsgt

Like my head is in a vice.There needs to be a "headache" mood whatchamacallit so I can use it atleast 4 times a week. Ugh!


----------



## Cmasch

@SamanthaStrange @tea111red I've asked a few extroverts I know "one being a car salesman," how they are so good at talking to people. They usually say the same thing. The number one thing most people enjoy is talking about themselves. The advice was, be genuinely interested in the conversation and keep the focus and questions on them. Hard part is when you can't think of anything to ask or say....lol


----------



## DiscardYourFear

SamanthaStrange said:


>


Yeah, there is someone who doesn't know how to have a conversation. :laugh:


----------



## zonebox

I attempted to drain the water accumulating in my sailboat by using my pool's water pump, I had limited success because it is not really powerful and required me to prime it with a water hose. I will have to get the wet vac out and do the rest, I hope one day I will be able to get an outboard for it and finally get it on the water.. I also played around with my tiny drone for a bit, that cheered me up. I have tomorrow off, perhaps I'll have a few beers tonight, if not I think I will just relax a bit. Perhaps I will connect the PS2 later, have a few beers and play some old games  

Tomorrow, perhaps I will go to the park and walk along the trails, get out of the house, get some exercise. If I can find a pump for my bike, I might go for a ride.

So I'm feeling pretty good right now.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

depressed and confused


----------



## Shawn81

More depressed than usual the past two or three days. A lonely annoyed emotionless state with occasional sadness.


----------



## NerdlySquared

TryingMara said:


> :squeeze. You'll find it again. You're of the most optimistic and hard working people I know..I have no doubt you'll get through this rough patch and be on your way to inner peace again.. Keep at it . Lack of sleep and strange sleep schedules can mess with your mind and thinking patterns..so be sure to get some rest.


Thank you Mara, you are such a kind supportive person, it means a great deal to me to read your message and your words. I am feeling much better today, I just need to get out of my own head so much. As much as I tend to look at the good things and possibilities in life I am not immune to feeling down and alone now and again  But I always bounce back 

Thank you soooooo much  I hope your day today is fantastic Mara


----------



## tea111red

Cmasch said:


> @SamanthaStrange @tea111red I've asked a few extroverts I know "one being a car salesman," how they are so good at talking to people. They usually say the same thing. The number one thing most people enjoy is talking about themselves. The advice was, be genuinely interested in the conversation and keep the focus and questions on them. Hard part is when you can't think of anything to ask or say....lol


Yeah, I'm usually pretty good about asking other people questions and stuff, but when it comes time for me to add something about myself or share an experience (if I manage to have an experience to share then I suck at expressing it to another person a lot of the time) I really struggle there. It's pretty embarrassing.

I guess w/ sharing an opinion or something I like I'm reluctant, too. It's sometimes hard to know how another person will receive it/things. I hate those moments when I share an opinion or talk about something I like and get a blank face (or the person on the other end says nothing, if it's online, lol) or have the person just talk right over me.

Yeah.


----------



## Cmasch

tea111red said:


> Yeah, I'm usually pretty good about asking other people questions and stuff, but when it comes time for me to add something about myself or share an experience (if I manage to have an experience to share then I suck at expressing it to another person a lot of the time) I really struggle there. It's pretty embarrassing.
> 
> I guess w/ sharing an opinion or something I like I'm reluctant, too. It's sometimes hard to know how another person will receive it/things. I hate those moments when I share an opinion or talk about something I like and get a blank face (or the person on the other end says nothing, if it's online, lol) or have the person just talk right over me.
> 
> Yeah.


oh god, I know exactly what you mean. I feel like I can almost feel peoples reactions to things I say. I will say something. Like some fact I heard and they will say something like, oh huh. And then I'm like oh great, they don't believe me....lmao


----------



## Charmeleon

like a ****ing turd floating in a cup of coffee


----------



## blue2

Charmeleon said:


> like a fucking turd floating in a cup of coffee


Huh ..why are u goin to that coachella thing this year cause heard fat G n R gonna b there :/


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

Charmeleon said:


> like a ****ing turd floating in a cup of coffee


Hey, so, what's going on man. Is this like a subtle attempt at getting the b-word or what....I'm sure new people will join who will be funny and active and can replace your buddies.


----------



## ponyboy99

At the moment i don't no how im feeling, kind of depressed and tired, wishing things were diffrent!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## andretti

like crap. eyes burns, throat hurts , back hurts. ive been sick for a couple of days already . ehh.


----------



## uziq

so conflicted about every human interaction I make lately

also tired and very anxious about classes starting tomorrow


----------



## Shawn81

Absolutely disgusted by the way some people just blatantly take advantage of others and get away with it.


----------



## zonebox

Shawn81 said:


> Absolutely disgusted by the way some people just blatantly take advantage of others and get away with it.


/bow

Same here dude.


----------



## Shawn81

zonebox said:


> /bow
> 
> Same here dude.


Some of them are so good at it, and have people so fooled, that they actually have people convinced that they're the one who is being/was taken advantage of, and get sympathy for it, and get the other person shamed for it. It's disgusting.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Kind of proud of myself. I did something I was really nervous about, and I got through it.


----------



## JustThisGuy

SamanthaStrange said:


> Kind of proud of myself. I did something I was really nervous about, and I got through it.


:grin2:


----------



## Andre Sossi

Sleepy... didn't sleep well tonight.


----------



## Elad

Too often feel like a sub human freak who should avoid being in public, and the older I get the more frequent having to face sad realities become.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tea111red

.......


----------



## NerdlySquared

LostInReverie said:


> I ****ibg hate myself. I need to buy a gun, like, ASAP.


Please no  :squeeze


----------



## Odinn

I feel depressed still


----------



## OffthechainJoehovah

I had a sort of confrontation with someone over the interwebs and it's pretty much killed my whole mood and has me thinking about my life in a negative light. So I'm feeling pretty lousy.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired. Sick of insomnia. 
Sad. Nervous. The usual.


----------



## hereandthere

OffthechainJoehovah said:


> I had a sort of confrontation with someone over the interwebs and it's pretty much killed my whole mood and has me thinking about my life in a negative light. So I'm feeling pretty lousy.


I hope it's okay that I've decided to chime in. Interestingly, I feel that way, because I've been where you are, Offthechain. I know what it's like to feel as you do. Trust me, friend, and let it go. Those sorts of confrontations are a part of life, and they'll happen interwebs or not. The hard part is learning to let it go. I struggle with it still, but it has gotten much better. I wouldn't be posting this if I hadn't learned to open my hands and release the worry. And if I can do it, so can you. So, don't let one interaction define you. It doesn't, I promise.

As for myself, I can't get Toto's _Africa_ out of my head. _Gonna take a lot to drag me away from you. There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do._ Earworms drive me nuts.


----------



## Maverick34

Cold & grumpy. Just put on my fleece jacket & fleece throw over my legs. Now I'm just grumpy *semi-smile

& I feel like going back to sleep


----------



## tea111red

My problems w/ my appearance are still making my life miserable.


----------



## reaffected

Relieved like a weight has been lifted.


----------



## Orbiter

Feeling like ramming a knife into the frontal side of my brain.


----------



## Orbiter

LostInReverie said:


> I ****ibg hate myself. I need to buy a gun, like, ASAP.


No you don't!
Stop it and let me give you a hug. :smile2:


----------



## Charmeleon

Wings of Amnesty said:


> Hey, so, what's going on man. Is this like a subtle attempt at getting the b-word or what....


you gonna miss me mr squirrel?


----------



## NerdlySquared

reaffected said:


> Relieved like a weight has been lifted.


:squeeze


----------



## Kevin001

Fatigued and hopeless.


----------



## OffthechainJoehovah

hereandthere said:


> I hope it's okay that I've decided to chime in. Interestingly, I feel that way, because I've been where you are, Offthechain. I know what it's like to feel as you do. Trust me, friend, and let it go. Those sorts of confrontations are a part of life, and they'll happen interwebs or not. The hard part is learning to let it go. I struggle with it still, but it has gotten much better. I wouldn't be posting this if I hadn't learned to open my hands and release the worry. And if I can do it, so can you. So, don't let one interaction define you. It doesn't, I promise.
> 
> As for myself, I can't get Toto's _Africa_ out of my head. _Gonna take a lot to drag me away from you. There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do._ Earworms drive me nuts.


Thanks. I appreciate your feedback.


----------



## coeur_brise

I'm feeling pain and trying to ignore it like an elephant in the room. Trying not to feel is making me feel worse. I wish I could translate better what I'm feeling. Instead I'm an open sore that's just taking in everything, for good or bad.


----------



## uziq

dead tired


----------



## Odinn

Ignored or forgotten


----------



## Internoyyed

This.


----------



## Shawn81

Down and worried. Off work early and ready for an extended evening of losery.


----------



## AddictedToTheInternet

To put it simply - I want to die.


----------



## bloodymary

I am struggling with depression my whole life, and since my 13 with suicidal thoughts. At this time it´s no exception. Even though I have a bit stronger moments, soon I am back at feeling suicidal again. I think over and over things in my head, trying to find a solution to my life, but I have already tried almost anything, including the most crazy and neckbreaking things, but nothing helped. Definitely suicide seems to me like the most appropriate and rational solution to my life. Some people just were born wrong and there should be some assisted suicide to help them humanely out of here.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

Charmeleon said:


> you gonna miss me mr squirrel?


Who cares, I'm getting banned probably today, next thread I make.


----------



## Charmeleon

Wings of Amnesty said:


> Who cares, I'm getting banned probably today, next thread I make.


lucky you, zero dollars says you're not gonna get banned


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

Charmeleon said:


> lucky you, zero dollars says you're not gonna get banned


I know, they don't want to ban me, they just want to make me so uncomfortable that I leave on my own.


----------



## LostinReverie

NerdlySquared said:


> Please no  :squeeze





Orbiter said:


> No you don't!
> Stop it and let me give you a hug. :smile2:


Haha... don't worry, I would have way too much anxiety to purchase a gun. I'll take the hugs, though.

:kiss:


----------



## BeHereNow

Happy, sad and just a little fear and anger


----------



## Charmeleon

Wings of Amnesty said:


> I know, they don't want to ban me, they just want to make me so uncomfortable that I leave on my own.


ive never had an issue with the mods, actually i think they kinda like me :]

but yeah, if you do leave do me a favor and report my posts on your way out k


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious
Sad
Lonely
Bored
Sick
Tired


----------



## Shawn81

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious
> Sad
> Lonely
> Bored
> Sick
> Tired


Pretty much all of that.


----------



## uziq

unusually confident, but I know it's only because I've slept so little in the past 2 days, and am continuing to neglect sleep right now


----------



## JustThisGuy

Tired but restless.


----------



## Rex87

Hungover, lazy, need to make breakfast


----------



## DiscardYourFear

Sick.


----------



## Nozz

Better than yesterday. Admittedly, this could just be the coffee speaking.


----------



## NerdlySquared

LostInReverie said:


> Haha... don't worry, I would have way too much anxiety to purchase a gun. I'll take the hugs, though.
> 
> :kiss:


I'm glad  I hope that means you are feeling better too :squeeze


----------



## NerdlySquared

I feel so much more tired so early in the week than usual, it's probably all the increased exercise. If I can get a good nights rest, hopefully that will help today


----------



## NerdlySquared

DiscardYourFear said:


> Sick.


Feel better soon you


----------



## ND 123

very tired


----------



## Ineko

stressed, lonely


----------



## thomasjune

Tired, anxious and stressed-out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## uziq

i have zero motivation and feel like everything is falling apart in front of me


----------



## Persephone The Dread

uziq said:


> i have zero motivation and feel like everything is falling apart in front of me


.

You know you're ****ed up when you're going to bed at a reasonable time because you feel that upset, and not because you should have gone to bed around this time if not earlier anyway.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm feeling alright at the moment. Hopefully it lasts, evenings are the worst for me.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

NerdlySquared said:


> Feel better soon you


Thank you. 
I'm feeling a little better. The chills went away. But I still feel weak and headachy. I don't know what is wrong with me. It's not the flu, I don't think. Someone told me allergies can do this to you. If so, allergies are HORRIBLE. :frown2:


----------



## Shawn81

Exhausted. Went in to work and had nothing to do then everything fell apart and I was there for 12 hours, and have to go in tomorrow to finish other things I couldn't today.


----------



## Andras96

Right now... I wish I could just fall asleep and not wake up. I'd no doubt be doing people a favor. I'm done with being a waste of space towards everyone.


----------



## Shawn81

Lonely, bored. Same answer I could just copy/paste every day.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Doomed to live a life of misery.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel fine and had a decent day


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad. My morning was a little rough but I'm good now.


----------



## egmeceg

Tired. :rain


----------



## helena88

I wish I could go back in time while retaining the wisdom I've gained recently.


----------



## uziq

extremely tired. nervous about tonight and tomorrow.


----------



## Maverick34

Like I only napped for 5 minutes (which is exactly how short I napped = 5 minutes haha). Well 5 minutes is better than no minutes :serious:


----------



## Shawn81

Stupid. Regretful.


----------



## Crisigv

Peachy


----------



## Cletis




----------



## anxious87

Ive been better. Woke up with some optimism and positivity. Eventually turned into ants. They were too hard to fight, so i kept them flowin. I know what triggered them this time though and reminded myself of whats important. I feel like ill turn around soon.


----------



## D0GMEAT

My coworker at work told me I shouldn't speak ill of my dead mother, even though telling people she was a ****ty person isn't really speaking ill of her. It's telling people she was a **** person when she was alive. Then she tells me that she's my mother, and that I should love/respect her anyway.

The ***** made me question my existence at the age of 10. Do you think I should really be thankful for her giving me life? I'm only grateful because she gave me her face, and I'm with my boyfriend, but other than that, no.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Very mixed emotions, at the moment.


----------



## zonebox

Tired, it is time to go to bed, yet if I go to bed now when I wake up I'll have to go to work. I spent all day today while at work, looking forward to coming home to relax.. I need at least another five hours to do the things I want to do, but I have to leave my house in another seven hours. I wish I had a robot zonebox to go to work for me..

It is 2016, why is there no robot zonbox yet?


----------



## Nozz

Actually pretty good. All the goals I wrote down for myself today got completed. It's not much, but I am getting a little better at these things.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i feel sick lol


----------



## WillYouStopDave

You know that moment when you sit back and think about what the internet actually IS and the fact that the controls for it are right there in front of you and yet you can't think of a damn thing to do online ATM? That's where I am right now.

I'm not down. I'm not really bored. I don't know what I am right now. I don't know how I feel when I'm like this. The closest thing is just.....tired. But I don't think I actually am. And my dad just cranked up the heat to 90 and I'M ROASTING!


----------



## vela

Lonely and crappy..


----------



## Elad

Living true to my status I feel like everything might be alright after a sudden 3 or 4 days of absolute despair. It's obviously not normal and ssri's alone aren't working anymore, so maybe capricious should turn to bipolar. I'll see what my GP thinks but ultimately you're at the whim of whatever label they think fits.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Odinn

Anxious and nervous and scared


----------



## unemployment simulator

decided to interpret my dream. thought it might be a warning or something as I lost a load of money and gave some away foolishly. turns out it is a message telling me that I lack self esteem and I am desperate for someone to love me. great! so even my dreams are telling me how hopeless I am...


----------



## Maverick34

Pretty good. Best sleep I had since 7-10 days ago


----------



## NerdlySquared

I got some good news last night which made me pretty happy  Today I feel a bit tired and I am not looking forward to work, but I shal live


----------



## Maverick34

When you get a chat message but it's not her


----------



## uziq

SUPER ****ing tired. past 4 days have been stressful as hell.


----------



## Maverick34

helena88 said:


> I wish I could go back in time while retaining the wisdom I've gained recently.


I use to feel that way too, but I met a really wonderful person here at SAS recently. If I went back in time, she would not exist in my timeline or my life today


----------



## racheldemetris

I feel like I need help, but that I'll never get the help I need... and that I will stay this way forever. Not living up to my full potential.


----------



## racheldemetris

Sometimes I try and trick myself into believing that I am better - but then I find myself every few months on these forums and googling like mad.. looking for help. I have tried therapy .. maybe not long enough to see if it works - it would cost me a fortune to see a psychologist on a weekly basis. Why isn't mental health covered ? Argggggg!


----------



## uziq

i feel like **** just got super real

super real, like wow. i don't know. crazy. i don't know what i'm doing.


----------



## Kevin001

I feel pretty good. Just trying to keep positive and take things one day at a time.


----------



## Shawn81

fhsdaklfhdsalkjhf;asdlkfhjnasdk;lf sounds about right.


----------



## gthopia94

Angry as hell, but in the same token comprised as well because I can't do anything to change my situation.


----------



## Emar

Actually today I am happy. 

Since the panic attack I had days where my whole body shivers (not in the good way) but today, Im cool  Planning the weekend


----------



## harrison

Like I'd like to split someone's head open.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

That all too familiar feeling of wanting to bury my head in something like a pillow. It's not even like I want to cry. Well, I should be more accurate; my body doesn't want to cry, my conscious mind however...

Why why why.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Kevin001 said:


> I feel pretty good. Just trying to keep positive and take things one day at a time.


Good on you Kevin  Keep it up, that's how we all live, whether we like to admit it to ourselves or not, one day at a time  Best of luck


----------



## NerdlySquared

vela said:


> Lonely and crappy..


I hope tommorow will be a little better :squeeze


----------



## NerdlySquared

Emar said:


> Actually today I am happy.
> 
> Since the panic attack I had days where my whole body shivers (not in the good way) but today, Im cool  Planning the weekend


Great news  I hope it keeps up and you have a great weekend  :yay


----------



## pinkkawaii

Depressed and fearful. I feel like I'm slipping back into loner mode and I'll lose all of my new friends if I do. I don't want to be lonely in a foreign country


----------



## NerdlySquared

Nozz said:


> Actually pretty good. All the goals I wrote down for myself today got completed. It's not much, but I am getting a little better at these things.


There is something extremely satisfying in that kind of burst of productivity, no doubt  Happy for you


----------



## Emar

NerdlySquared said:


> Great news  I hope it keeps up and you have a great weekend  :yay


Thank you! Weekends are usually good. (I don't need to expect social interaction) :nerd: Just me, my cats, my TV and house chores! Hurray!


----------



## NerdlySquared

pinkkawaii said:


> Depressed and fearful. I feel like I'm slipping back into loner mode and I'll lose all of my new friends if I do. I don't want to be lonely in a foreign country


Oaaah  I'm sorry you are feeling so down  I hope you can find the strength to push in the direction you want to go and away from your fears. I hope your friends stay by your side when you are struggling, 
Best Wishes to you :squeeze


----------



## NerdlySquared

Emar said:


> Thank you! Weekends are usually good. (I don't need to expect social interaction) :nerd: Just me, my cats, my TV and house chores! Hurray!


There is a special comfort in simple pleasures and routines  I know where you are coming from  I hope it's a great weekend for you Emar


----------



## Emar

NerdlySquared said:


> There is a special comfort in simple pleasures and routines  I know where you are coming from  I hope it's a great weekend for you Emar


Wish you a great weekend too! What are you planning on doing, if you dont mind me asking. opcorn


----------



## pinkkawaii

NerdlySquared said:


> Oaaah  I'm sorry you are feeling so down  I hope you can find the strength to push in the direction you want to go and away from your fears. I hope your friends stay by your side when you are struggling,
> Best Wishes to you :squeeze


:thanks


----------



## NerdlySquared

Emar said:


> Wish you a great weekend too! What are you planning on doing, if you dont mind me asking. opcorn


Well I was hoping to catch up with a friend I have been missing. It was my mom's birthday this week so I'm going to fund a shopping spree for her at her favorite store and then me and my dad will take her out for a birthday dinner  Aside from that just do some exercise and rest and relax after a week filled with overtime


----------



## NerdlySquared

pinkkawaii said:


> :thanks


:squeeze


----------



## Emar

NerdlySquared said:


> Well I was hoping to catch up with a friend I have been missing. It was my mom's birthday this week so I'm going to fund a shopping spree for her at her favorite store and then me and my dad will take her out for a birthday dinner  Aside from that just do some exercise and rest and relax after a week filled with overtime


... A shopping spree with mom and a dinner with your parents sounds really amazing. Enjoy them both as much as you can. Be with them and talk to them everyday... <3


----------



## Odinn

Still scared of applying for this job. . . .


----------



## KILOBRAVO

relaxed, but slightly excited... maybe a little optimistic. theres something im thinking of that might pay off, but i have nothing to lose by trying.


----------



## slyfox

Depressed and like not working on anything. Everything seems hopeless anyway. Feel like a failure to everyone. Going to go back to bed and hope I wake in a better mood. I really should start trying to force myself to get stuff done when in these moods instead of just going to sleep though.


----------



## Chris444

Frustrated and beaten down. Trying like hell to overcome this recent severe anxiety episode I'm going though (for 3 months) - Aside from the already bad day to day anxiety I usually get. So many ups and downs - like a roller coaster (without the fun). Feels like it won't let up. I'm making progress though.


----------



## anxious87

Tense and cold


----------



## StephCurry

Suicidal and defeated.


----------



## Nitrogen

i feel miserable and wish i could perish

i know i'm ****ed up and literally nothing can be done to revert the damage that's been done, it's ****ing useless


----------



## prettypony

I feel anxious and confused.


----------



## Shawn81

Disappointed.


----------



## Maverick34

Meh / semi-smile


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I kinda feel okay at the moment. Gasp! :eek


----------



## DiscardYourFear

SamanthaStrange said:


> I kinda feel okay at the moment. Gasp! :eek


Good! Nice to hear that.


----------



## tea111red

Waiting for time to pass so I can get to having a better quality of life (I think that's what will happen anyway). Also, am trying to figure out how to be content in the meantime, but it's a struggle.


----------



## zonebox

My job is stressing me out a lot lately. It would be rather labor intensive to write it all out here, and no one would want to read it not that I would blame them :lol But heck, I have the next three days off. I'm slowly taking steps in the hope of earning enough money without human interaction, and the worst case scenario is I quit my job and find another. 

I remember reading somewhere, some proverb or another from Judaism that we may not have free will in our environment, but we have the capacity to change our environment. It has been years since I read that, I have the wording off horribly, the source I had gotten it from may have been really far off base and it may have been their interpretation of some scripture or another, but it really moved me when I read it back in the late 90s. It made a lot of sense, you only have so many options available to you in one environment, but it is not necessary to stay there.. you can move on and find another that suits you better.

I think that line of thought had a lot to do with me moving out of Maine at the age of 24, ultimately to Florida. 

Thinking about that, makes me feel pretty good. I'm not stuck in one place, I can simply move on to another job. Perhaps for some of you it will help out as well.

Anyway, I have a few beers, getting to the relaxed stage. The stress is melting away, anxieties are fading, and things are turning out to be pretty good. I hope things turn out good for all of you as well.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

DiscardYourFear said:


> Good! Nice to hear that.


Thanks. 

And how are you feeling, Ms Shady?


----------



## DiscardYourFear

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks.
> 
> And how are you feeling, Ms Shady?


Meh. I was feeling pretty good earlier, now I'm just tired, so I need to hit the bed and zone out for 7 hours or so.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

DiscardYourFear said:


> Meh. I was feeling pretty good earlier, now I'm just tired, so I need to hit the bed and zone out for 7 hours or so.


Well, sweet dreams!


----------



## rdrr

v sore


----------



## Nozz

Bored


----------



## DiscardYourFear

SamanthaStrange said:


> Well, sweet dreams!


:dead


----------



## Ineko

feeling like an absolute piece of worthless sh!t


----------



## Andras96

...if people genuinely don't want to be bothered by me... why try anymore. Wouldn't it be best for me (best for everyone I may meet) to just remain docile and leave people alone, for good?


----------



## Shawn81

Cold again.


----------



## NerdlySquared

KILOBRAVO said:


> relaxed, but slightly excited... maybe a little optimistic. theres something im thinking of that might pay off, but i have nothing to lose by trying.


Whatever it is I hope it works out, some of the most life enriching decisions start of with exactly that feeling  Best of Luck


----------



## NerdlySquared

tea111red said:


> Waiting for time to pass so I can get to having a better quality of life (I think that's what will happen anyway). Also, am trying to figure out how to be content in the meantime, but it's a struggle.


I would say we are all looking for that contentment throughout our various paths Tea, whether we actually realise we are or not. I am glad you can see that light down the line  I hope that it can be a comforting thought and source of strength on the tough days  :squeeze


----------



## Findedeux

Disappointed with the massage I got yesterday.

Bored today. Have cooking and cleaning to look forward to.

Maybe I will do something on Sunday once the work is done.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

NerdlySquared said:


> Whatever it is I hope it works out, some of the most life enriching decisions start of with exactly that feeling  Best of Luck


oh thanks. yep. I know.. it might.. be something very usefull...something to bring some positive improvement.....but it might take harder work.... or I might find it easy .. but it should cost me nothing to start and well....we will see. the very idea of it makes me excited some.... I haven't made any moves yet tho... just carefully thinking and planning...

plus. have to hope they the other people keep up their side of the bargain.. so well see.


----------



## Shawn81

Really down today. Extra lonely. Unmotivated to do anything, with nothing to do anyway. Managed to do laundry. And that's going to be my day.


----------



## Cmasch

Like a plastic bag drifting through the wind, wanting to start again


----------



## tea111red

Miserably bored and want to fast forward time.


----------



## catcharay

Gross. Time of the month acne crop ups. There's maltesers waiting for me


----------



## tcv

This thread is depressing 

Feeling the pang of rejection atm.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

panicked


----------



## funnynihilist

not much to live for but on the upside I'm starting to feel the whiskey!


----------



## harrison

Much better - had so much stress last week I ended up with a migraine that lasted for almost 3 days. Much better now - a relief.


----------



## unemployment simulator

bit cold. this weather has taken a sharp turn for the worst last couple of days. could be worse though, think it's minus 10 in some parts.


----------



## Maverick34

Indigestion/gas = :serious:


----------



## Shawn81

Worried about how long I have to work today vs the fact that I'm still awake.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Feeling pretty vonerable


----------



## R2dsmaker

I'm feeling pretty lost. I am so dizzy and always feel like i have a horrible disease the doctors can't find. I live in fear and i feel it all over my body. I know i shouldn't but i can't stop. I talk to my wife but she can only offer encouraging words...... Anyone else going through the same thing?


----------



## Shawn81

R2dsmaker said:


> I'm feeling pretty lost. *I am so dizzy and always feel like i have a horrible disease the doctors can't find. *I live in fear and i feel it all over my body. I know i shouldn't but i can't stop. I talk to my wife but she can only offer encouraging words...... Anyone else going through the same thing?


Sounds like my reaction to klonopin for 12 years or so.


----------



## Kevin001

Stomach hurts a little but other than that I'm good.


----------



## Shawn81

Exhausted. No sleep. Off to work.


----------



## Shawn81

Mixed feelings about not being able to work today because of some kind of event. I was really tired anyway. But I lose the hours. And now I have to call some people and let them know about not being able to meet with them today, which makes me really anxious.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like ****


----------



## Shawn81

Hungry for things I shouldn't eat.

Cold.


----------



## tea111red

i don't want to be at home, but i don't want to go out, either. too many people outside.


----------



## Shawn81

Bored.


----------



## zonebox




----------



## Kevin001

Horrible. My suicidal thoughts are back, self-harm urges, etc. I'm back to wanting to die of cancer. These mood swings are killing me. Hell I might be bipolar.


----------



## BeHereNow

Feeling hopeful and comical after reading some threads but also I always worry about being misunderstood because sometimes I will make a funny post just joing around but on serious topics I always keep it real and I don't want people to think I'm a troll or take my sarcasm seriously.

Online and in real life I'm afraid that people may get the wrong impression of me.

But I'm ok, I'm feeling ok. Confused as usual but I stopped trying to "make sense of it all" and just have some faith and that has helped me tremendously.


----------



## Maverick34

Confused/concerned


----------



## jsgt

Like I'm on one of these but not having as much fun as these people are having. :sigh


----------



## Shawn81

:blank


----------



## tea111red

i really feel at my wits end and am having more and more fantasies of how to end things.


----------



## Shawn81

Horrible heart palpitations, can't sleep, a lot of anxiety.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

I'm in a pretty good mood. It helps that it's sunny outside.


----------



## Odinn

Nervous


----------



## Nitrogen

inexplicable. lost. uneasy.
uni and work tomorrow... shouldn't someone isolated be happy to return to daily structure and contact with the outside world in their life? all there is to feel is dread.


----------



## Shawn81

Really annoyed.


----------



## Crisigv

I have no energy


----------



## Kevin001

Stagnant and lethargic.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Nitrogen said:


> inexplicable. lost. uneasy.
> uni and work tomorrow... shouldn't someone isolated be happy to return to daily structure and contact with the outside world in their life? all there is to feel is dread.


man do i know these feels.

stay strong.


----------



## uziq

more tired and stressed than i've been in a long time. sorry to the people i haven't responded to. everything is crazy right now.


----------



## Crisigv

Down
Lonely
Fat 
Ugly
Pathetic


----------



## Odinn

Anxious but not as anxious as before


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious, awkward, exposed


----------



## Kevin001

Pretty tired and hopeless.


----------



## Shawn81

Really stupid.


----------



## Mammagamma

I feel like I should turn on my phone but I really don't want to because I don't wanna talk to anyone right now.

--

Edit:
Turned it on. Lol.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely
Bored
Cold


----------



## DiscardYourFear

SamanthaStrange said:


> Lonely
> Bored
> Cold


Ditto 
Ditto
Ditto


----------



## ND 123

absolutely horrible and hopeless.


----------



## reaffected

Stressed about chemo and therapy tomorrow. Sad.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Not sure why, but I sort of feel like a... fraud..? Odd. I haven't been lying or anything. I don't really lie. At least not often. I hate lying. That panic when you're worried that the truth will be revealed is pretty horrific. It doesn't help that I know just how soul crushing it can feel to find out you've been lied to. Boy do I know that feeling. As a person who values honesty and accuracy, it's a purely horrid experience.

I think this 'fraud' feeling is actually attributable to my limited vocabulary and ability to express feelings into words. As such, using the words I do know leaves a feeling of nagging dissatisfaction and inaccuracy. It's bound to procure misunderstandings.


----------



## gthopia94

Shawn81 said:


> Cold again.


Same here along with angry & pissed but you'd think that would warm me up.


----------



## NerdlySquared

reaffected said:


> Stressed about chemo and therapy tomorrow. Sad.


I know it's hard and it must be incredibly overwhelming dealing with it day to day  You are such a strong person, one of the strongest I have ever known. I hope that strength will not falter tommorow and can help give you the buoyancy through another difficult day. I hope you can find that spark to carry you through.

:squeeze :squeeze :squeeze :squeeze :squeeze :squeeze :squeeze


----------



## Barakiel

ShatteredGlass said:


> I think this 'fraud' feeling is actually attributable to my limited vocabulary and ability to express feelings into words. As such, using the words I do know leaves a feeling of nagging dissatisfaction and inaccuracy. It's bound to procure misunderstandings.


That's probably one of the main worries I have when talking to folks online actually :\ I know for the most part people tend to be more critical of themselves than other people really are but you know, with anxiety how you feel almost always seems to be triumphant over what you actually know, I guess.


----------



## uziq

i don't think i've ever felt this insane


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reaffected said:


> Stressed about chemo and therapy tomorrow. Sad.


:squeeze ...you shall both get through it... :squeeze

i was gonna say how i was feeling, but its not so important now...
.


----------



## uziq

feeling less insane. this is good. very tired though.


----------



## Shawn81

Lonely. Like everything is pointless.


----------



## Andras96

Pretty purposeless. Pos car didn't start, so now I'm going to be embarrassed showing up to class next week. Gee does it even matter anymore, the impressions i try to make on people? I'm still going to be friendless by the time this semester ends, still going to be completely useless to people, still going to be a ****ing nobody that no one would want to associate themselves with.


----------



## Maverick34

Sleepy


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like a leper, and angry, and confused


----------



## Ineko

The usual, Depressed and thoughts of ending it.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Annoyed


----------



## Shawn81

Worried. Took a long walk after two recent rounds of cortizone injections and expensive custom shoe inserts and my heel spurs came right back.


----------



## anxious87

Stuck. Not sure how ill get to sleep tonight. My thoughts wont quit. Even though I know this will pass, it doesnt seem to be enough.


----------



## rdrr

Very Very awake


----------



## meepie

studious


----------



## carolinewithanxiety

okay


----------



## surviving

Frustrated. I've got 99 problems and they just won't go away.


----------



## TheGarlicRouter

Confused. I was feeling amazing in myself all yesterday, up until a few hours ago when I couldn't sleep, now I'm up at 6am with no sleep, feeling as **** as always.


----------



## Andras96

Is it so wrong of me to feel dejected? For me to walk with my head down, to have no confidence in myself whatsoever? I wish I didn't feel so defeated all the time, but every other life experience tells me otherwise, as clear as day. Somehow... it's still my fault for feeling this way. 

What would anyone else do...


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad and lonely, as usual.


----------



## Andras96

I'm just broken. I'm broken down to my very core. I don't even know why I bother logging in here anymore. I have no ****ing friends even online and I only end up irritating people with my very presence. My god... I need to just go away. Just go away, Andrew. Just stop trying to talk to people, just accept being the dejected worthless individual you are and just ****ing leave people alone. And I know people ****ing agree with this, so just tell me how annoying I ****ing am, let me know so I can get this through my thick skull once and for all.


----------



## Wanderlust89

Lonely and angry. Work sucks. Home sucks.


----------



## Shawn81

Down. Stupid. Upset. Lonely. Hopeless.


----------



## Crisigv

Lazy. I could have had my room cleaned already.


----------



## zonebox

I actually got through the work week without getting yelled at, or made to feel like rubbish, it is .. nice. I even got a promotion and a raise. I wonder if I will break the $9.00 barrier :lol

And hell, it is Friday. ****, what more can someone ask for? I can't wait to sit back, drink a few beers, and relax.


----------



## Nozz

Irritable. This headache apparently isn't going away today.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Perpetually unwanted, and never good enough.


----------



## Kevin001

^^ wanted

I feel really tired and unmotivated. I hope this feeling doesn't last long.


----------



## uziq

dying


----------



## Shawn81

Depressed and apathetic.


----------



## Crisigv

Bored, and very restless.


----------



## Shawn81

Bored, lonely, dull, slightly buzzed.


----------



## zonebox

I had the heater on, and was playing a first person shooter. Now I feel sick to my stomach, I hate that sensation it is like motion sickness. For some reason it is always worst when I have the heat on, I don't know why that is. It doesn't help that I have not been playing first person shooters in a long while. This one was lower resolution, so it makes it worst. Does anyone else get motion sickness from older games like doom?


----------



## Kevin001

I'm feeling ok at the moment. Better than earlier.


----------



## lethe1864

inadequate


----------



## Shawn81

Horrible. I haven't slept one second all night and I have to go to work soon.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Shawn81 said:


> Horrible. I haven't slept one second all night and I have to go to work soon.


I hope you can make it through the day with no rest  I hope tommorow will be easier to sleep.


----------



## NerdlySquared

lethe1864 said:


> inadequate


I'm sure you are far more than adequate :squeeze


----------



## NerdlySquared

Kevin001 said:


> I'm feeling ok at the moment. Better than earlier.


Yay!


----------



## Zosie92

Anxious as hell. Been off work for three weeks (suspended over a misunderstanding.) Return to work meeting tomorrow. Nightmares about what the return to work will actually be like. Trying to be strong but my minds just saying 'They all hate you'


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## KILOBRAVO

fine ... over all Ok.  Today was nice... things are ok, and might get even better in a few weeks... if all goes to plan. so i also allow myself to feel positive hope.


----------



## Banana Bread

I felt terrible yesterday, but felt a bit better today. the thing is i'm trying to stay optimistic, while trying to not let anything bring me down. It's hard, but i think i'll be able to manage. I hope things will turn out better for you guys too ^^


----------



## Shawn81

Completely horrible, exhausted. Lonely. Sports anxiety is building.


----------



## Mur

Good, I feel even better now that the Broncos won.


----------



## DiscardYourFear

A.A said:


> Good, I feel even better now that the Broncos won.


Go, Broncos! :grin2:


----------



## Persephone The Dread

sad


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

Persephone The Dread said:


> sad


Aww, what's wrong?


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Wings of Amnesty said:


> Aww, what's wrong?


It doesn't matter, I'm being stupid.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

Persephone The Dread said:


> It doesn't matter, I'm being stupid.


Are you sure? I mean, even if it's stupid it's still something that you're feeling, and if it has the power to make you sad then of course it matters.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Wings of Amnesty said:


> Are you sure? I mean, even if it's stupid it's still something that you're feeling, and if it has the power to make you sad then of course it matters.


Yeah I'm sure, thanks for the concern though. I'm a bit too sensitive today.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

TFW your number of friends goes from 36 to 37 but you can't remember sending or accepting a friend request :con


----------



## SickAndTiredofSA

sad and lost


----------



## Ominous Indeed

Persephone The Dread said:


> sad


?


----------



## catcharay

Hungry. Have fasted for 4 hours unintentionally. The library has no food.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Depressed & defeated


----------



## lethe1864

NerdlySquared said:


> I'm sure you are far more than adequate :squeeze


aww that is nice of you to say :squeeze


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I went for a walk today. It was pretty pointless but it was also kinda nice... unusually so. The weather's nice today. It's warm but not quite 'hot' today. It sucks that there's nowhere to go where I live though. At least nowhere semi interesting. I thought about going to the shopping centre but that would've taken a while and spontaneously visiting a public place full of people isn't an appealing idea for the most part.

Even if I did, it'd have been fairly pointless. Not like I have much money anyway. The novelty of just strolling around a store, glancing over things that I would but cannot afford and having a staff member eventually ask if I 'need any help' wears off quickly. Plus seeing people from school can be really stressful. Especially seeing that they have friends and aren't socially retarded. :/

Yet another pointless ramble from pointless me.


----------



## OnlyPath

Tired from my 3pm to 11pm shift. I have to be up in the morning at 6AM for class. I'm feeling tired. But also thoroughly looking forward to class tomorrow. I have this awesome psych class and teacher. Should be interesting...


----------



## NerdlySquared

lethe1864 said:


> aww that is nice of you to say :squeeze


:squeeze


----------



## NerdlySquared

Canadian Brotha said:


> Depressed & defeated


Don't give up  I hope it gets better


----------



## NerdlySquared

SickAndTiredofSA said:


> sad and lost


I hope you can find your way and that the sadness fades as you find that path :squeeze Best of Luck to You.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

im OK. but i feel a bit lazy. i haven't been exercising nearly as hard / much they past week and a half as i have been for the previous months.... been sidetracked with something else...


i have to kick myself up the butt ( lol) and get back into it.... otherwise i wont progress to where i want to...


----------



## SickAndTiredofSA

NerdlySquared said:


> I hope you can find your way and that the sadness fades as you find that path :squeeze Best of Luck to You.


aww thank you!! :smile2: best of luck to you too!


----------



## Kevin001

Fatigued and anxious.


----------



## Andras96

Broken.
Stupid. 
Friendless. 
Useless.
Leper.
Broken again.
Complete screw up.

No one cares on here, I'm just typing into a void.


----------



## Andras96

Go ahead. Someone reading this, give me another bad experience to reaffirm my thoughts. I already hate myself more than anyone else on here possibly could, so go ahead. Tell me.


----------



## zonebox

I have to go to work tomorrow


----------



## Chinesefood25

I am feeling emotionally and physically weak, not as resilient or as strong as others. I hate that people younger than my age can have this ability to deal with hardships or conceal their vulnerability and I can't. I am introverted and feel inferior and "uncool" next to the extroverted people.


----------



## gthopia94

Furious & Agitated!!!:mum


----------



## Ape

I'm okay. My sleeping schedule has been really bad lately, and I haven't gotten a lot of things done because of the way it affects my mood. I'm pretty meh as a result.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Feeling pretty insignificant tonight


----------



## zonebox

I just got home from work, it is only 1:00pm, I have 11 hours to do whatever I want.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

NerdlySquared said:


> Feeling pretty insignificant tonight


well, you shouldnt feel that way.

by the way.... if you can make it look as cute as that cat ..... you're doing well


----------



## Cletis




----------



## Maverick34

Pretty darn good. My sleep is more or less back to normal & I intend on keeping it that way. Very vital to my mental progress.

PS. We don't say "darn" in Brooklyn, NY though haha


----------



## Kevin001

A little worried. I'm not sure if I can land a job because of transportation issues. Plus I have no idea what type of work I could do. I'm also worried about seeing my counselor in an hr.


----------



## vsaxena

Not nearly as moody as yesterday. Getting out of the house and into the gym helped calm my nerves.


----------



## sol65

Ok.. Tired after classes. A bit down because I don't enjoy much when I am around people. Going to have a nice cuppa tea now so unwin some u lose some 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## smeeble

Tired and hungry with cramps:crying:


----------



## zonebox

Cloudy with a chance of rain, clearing up Thursday and Friday is expected to be warm and sunny which will carry on until Monday.


----------



## Hunter1991

Sad  we need some love T_T


----------



## xMissChloex

I can't do ANYTHING right. Every single thing I do. I shouldn't exist. Everything has turned to **** this past week. The f**k is my purpose anyway? To be like an annoying mosquito that sucks the life out of everyone and everything?

And i've turned into a whinging piece of sh!t. I hear Voluntary Euthanasia is legal in Belgium. Haha stupid Australians wouldn't know what to do with it.


----------



## Kevin001

Exhausted and hopeless.


----------



## uziq

numb. totally ****ing numb. i want this to end.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel alright


----------



## ggvirus

Not sure why but for the first time in a long long year I feel actualy good


----------



## Andras96

****ing pathetic.
Friendless loser.
Reject.
Freak.
Never good enough.
A ****ing joke to people.
Hopeless.
Useless.
Stupid.
Dejected.
Wreck.
Weak. 
*Broken*.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Bored


----------



## Crisigv

Not happy


----------



## uziq

dead


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, sad, lonely, annoyed, and somewhat amused.


----------



## Crisigv

Hopeless and lost


----------



## tea111red

Lazy.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious as hell


----------



## Maverick34

Worried


----------



## herk

nervous


----------



## Diacetylmorphine

Absolutely devastated. Why did it have to end like this? 
I want to sleep now, and I don't want to wake up.


----------



## izbits

Blank and angry.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Slaughtered


----------



## Andras96

Bottled up with anger and desperation, but it doesn't matter. Nothing matters with me. Every attempt throws me back into a downcast. It's looking more and more sane to jump off the nearest building downtown.


----------



## Andras96

I don't want to do this anymore


----------



## Crisigv

so alone


----------



## herk

proud


----------



## ShatteredGlass

vague. eyes are dry. the feeling of subtle, evasive misery resides in my chest. maybe taking a nap is a good idea, but the thought of that feels 'wrong'. at the same time, i'm not feeling motivated enough to really do things. 

i wish this feeling wasn't so common for me. :/


----------



## eveningbat

A slight pain.


----------



## Barakiel

Weird, but that's always better than feeling awful at least.


----------



## Kevin001

A little sick but other than that I'm good.


----------



## Crisigv

A little relieved, because I managed to find a pair of shoes. I was running out of stores. But I also still feel like a piece of garbage.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

strange.... definitely not in a good way.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Who cares?

No one.

That's how I'm feeling.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

gowrigjoivsvsivjosijgnegxxmcblajgoiigptw

ugh


----------



## Nozz

Overwhelmed and very alone.


----------



## NerdlySquared

KILOBRAVO said:


> well, you shouldnt feel that way.
> 
> by the way.... if you can make it look as cute as that cat ..... you're doing well


Haha thanks, feeling much better, I hope your plans and recent shifts are all working out as best as possible


----------



## Kevin001

Still sick but I'm trying to stay active/productive.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

NerdlySquared said:


> Haha thanks, feeling much better, I hope your plans and recent shifts are all working out as best as possible


well thanks. my recent plans have went according to plan so far. I passed the entrance exam to the company.. Yay.... but I have to wait another week ( they're busy and operating a waiting list) before things should be up and running. so hopefully I can begin working at projects in some weeks. passing the exam was tricky tho. .pretty challenging. im .glad I've done my part for now.


----------



## uziq

feels like 2015 all over again


----------



## C18

Strange, as usual.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## P1e2

Really want some good take out Chinese food for lunch. Wish I was in New York City and could order lunch to be delivered to my house.


----------



## minimized

Everything hurts.


----------



## reaffected

SamanthaStrange said:


> Who cares?
> 
> No one.
> 
> That's how I'm feeling.











^ accurate representation of me. I know that feeling <3



Nozz said:


> Overwhelmed and very alone.


:hug


----------



## minimized

SamanthaStrange said:


> Who cares?
> 
> No one.
> 
> That's how I'm feeling.


:squeeze


----------



## Maverick34

A lil unhappy but I kinda understand


----------



## Overdrive

lack of inspiration


----------



## Nitrogen

depressed. lack of energy/motivation. barely care about anything.


----------



## Kevin001

Not too hot, I should be ok in a couple of days.


----------



## CWe

Like Poop :/


----------



## uziq

extremely intoxicated, that's about it


----------



## Crisigv

Like pathetic garbage


----------



## theotherone

Holy cow. I just heard my sister in law screaming at 3:51. And I think she said the f word.

O_O ah the lovely age gaps, although I don't think that couldn't happened with ash, he was different but my hubby is most understanding ok I love my hubby

Anyways wtf.  she's so scary I get visions of her. Why is she always competing

She's usually mature and emotionally not.


----------



## Lauris

Neptunus said:


> Lots of anxiety today.


Hey, do you have skype? We could talk about your anxiety and I'll try to help you.


----------



## NerdlySquared

KILOBRAVO said:


> well thanks. my recent plans have went according to plan so far. I passed the entrance exam to the company.. Yay.... but I have to wait another week ( they're busy and operating a waiting list) before things should be up and running. so hopefully I can begin working at projects in some weeks. passing the exam was tricky tho. .pretty challenging. im .glad I've done my part for now.


It sounds like you put in the hard work and in just a little while you will be reaping the rewards  Big congrats on the exam success  I hope everything works out and it all keeps flowing nice and smooth  :clap


----------



## ShatteredGlass

bleh. who cares.


----------



## Dark Jewel

Feeling very depressed and lonely


----------



## reaffected

Frustrated. Singled out. A bit like I don't matter to others. Disrespected. Like I've been hit by a car. I get to actually say that now.. A brief internal flicker shrouded by darkness as the stars, still gleaming, laugh from the heavens. That's how I'm feeling. It isn't bothering me too much but it's there; though evanescent it is. It'll pass.


----------



## NerdlySquared

reaffected said:


> Frustrated. Singled out. A bit like I don't matter to others. Disrespected. Like I've been hit by a car. I get to actually say that now.. A brief internal flicker shrouded by darkness as the stars, still gleaming, laugh from the heavens. That's how I'm feeling. It isn't bothering me too much but it's there; though evanescent it is. It'll pass.


You do matter, you do, you do, you do. The heavens can laugh all they want, but you are the one that is real and you DO matter.

All the hugs in the world to you :squeeze


----------



## Overdrive

good


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable


----------



## Kevin001

Awful, hopefully I feel better tomorrow.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@reaffected
@minimized

Thanks! :heart :squeeze


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed


----------



## ShatteredGlass

god this class is making me nauseous lmao

anxiety is good ((((


----------



## tea111red

:sigh


----------



## NerdlySquared

:rain


----------



## Maverick34

Pretty good


----------



## InFlames

Disgusted and angry. Ready for revenge on 2 former friends that keep messing with my emotions.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Pretty damn awful. I'd like to just cry myself into a nap right now.


----------



## tea111red

i'm already wanting this day to be over.


----------



## Cletis

I have a nasty cold. I feel like ****. :rain


----------



## Odinn

Like i will never be able to financially support myself... so, very afraid.


----------



## Wanderlust89

So damn miserable.


----------



## JDsays

Stressed and overwhelmed


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

So sad. I've done nothing but lay here and cry off and on for the last few hours. At least the cat decided to come lay next to me.


----------



## uziq

extremely stressed.


----------



## monotonous

my life can be divided into depressed and anxious seasons, im entering into an anxious season


----------



## hmweasley

I'm feeling pretty good at the moment. Nothing remarkable happened today, but it's one of those days where I happen to be in a good mood for whatever reason.


----------



## Overdrive

bored


----------



## slyfox

Sick to my stomach. Also depressed and overwhelmed


----------



## TryingMara

NerdlySquared said:


> :rain


:squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

I'm making myself sick. Even when I cry too much, I feel like throwing up.


----------



## DespairSenpai

Empty


----------



## Maverick34

Worried. I might get banned :/


----------



## NerdlySquared

TryingMara said:


> :squeeze


Thank you Mara, you are always so kind and supportive to me, you are incredibly appreciated  :squeeze


----------



## Kovu

Not good.


----------



## Nicole G

sick with a cold


----------



## Wanderlust89

Still feeling this ache and sadness over an ex-friend. I'm really not sure whose fault it is, I just know our frequency of arguments is way too much to be considered normal. Most of all, I feel so unappreciated. 

I'm also feeling impatient and stressed over not finding a good room for rent. Yesterday this lady wasted my time by waiting 'til the end of all my questions to let me know it's $50 extra if I'm going to cook. At least she didn't wait until I came to see the room, I guess.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Groggy, not wanting to think, lonely, wishing for someone to talk to.


----------



## Crisigv

hopeless


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, sad, lonely, confused, doubtful, vulnerable.


----------



## kesker

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious, sad, lonely, confused, doubtful, vulnerable.




But, in actuality, you're wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, and wonderful. :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

kesker said:


> But, in actuality, you're wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, and wonderful. :squeeze


:blush Thank you... and right back at you! :squeeze


----------



## Cletis

Still got this damn cold and sore throat. :rain


----------



## KILOBRAVO

im fine, optimistic. but waiting for word back is a bit boring.


----------



## mattmc




----------



## tea111red

uninspired, lonely. i guess.


----------



## Shawn81

Overwhelmingly stressed and worried.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm still sick, I have a toothache, and I feel like dying.


----------



## Crisigv

Alone, sad, unloved, abandoned, hated.


----------



## Nitrogen

vaguely suicidal...slept most of today, had another major panic attack earlier after work. all i could wish for is the sweet escape of death, to fall asleep and finally never see the sun shine through the blinds again.


----------



## naptime

My meds are kicking in.. I feel high sometimes 0


----------



## ShatteredGlass

jaded and apathetic. i keep picking at my skin and biting at what nail there is left to bite. wasting time doing nothing. flick flick flick. all that's going through my brain is a garbled mishmash of incomprehensible crap. pffffft. what else is new.


----------



## Kevin001

I feel ok. I'm starting to recover from my sickness.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Trying to be hopeful when my gut keeps telling me all hope is lost.


----------



## StephCurry

I want to die


----------



## Shawn81

Worried, worried, worried, worried, worried.


----------



## Nozz

Tired. Was really hoping that exercising and eating better would sort out the sleeping issues, but so far it doesn't seem to be the case.


----------



## Odinn

I feel okay, but i really hate some avatars people have! >_<


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

My anxious brain keeps thinking I'm acting clingy whenever respond to this person right away, or if I talk to them every day. I'm trying not to come off that way -- I just really like talking to them.


----------



## Wanderlust89

I feel better now.... I made up with my friend yesterday. We got to the core of the problem and then went out for some burgers.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

pfffft i feel like **** as usual.


----------



## ChangelingGirl

I feel stressed and angry and sad.


----------



## uziq

been hacking my lungs out for over a week now and my GI tract is recovering from an alcohol binge

other than that, anxious as usual


----------



## blue2

Like Elvis after eating 5000 hamburgers cept I can't sing as good :/


----------



## Crisigv

unwanted


----------



## Cletis

Still got this damn cold! :rain


----------



## tea111red

its miserable being awake.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> its miserable being awake.


I'll take this a step further, and say it's miserable being alive.


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> I'll take this a step further, and say it's miserable being alive.


yep.


----------



## Shawn81

Anxious and lonely.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Like I'm in a dark pit. No matter how many times I climb out of it, seems like every time I get to the edge, I slide back in. I can't do this anymore. Talking to people (especially people I've taken a particular interest in) is like drugs. Makes me calm and content for a bit, but it's never enough. I always need more, but I can never get to that point with anyone where it's comfortable and they sate my constant need for attention. It never happens, and probably never will.


----------



## uziq

so anxious and conflicted over many things, this sucks.


----------



## Shawn81

Worried, as always. Lonely, as always. Annoyed.


----------



## stewartmays1

feeling really s.h.i.t


----------



## Cletis

Still got this damn cold! :rain


(Day 7)


----------



## Shawn81

Lost.


----------



## Flora20

Not very well, like everything hurts


----------



## Alcadaeus

Emotional, I have this all of a sudden urge to give up, cry and hide.


----------



## TenYears

I'm hurting, still. I called the ER (who told me I should come in, of course...which I'm not gonna do, unless I feel like I'm about to die). I asked them how much ibuprofen was safe to take, and how often and I was really surprised. So now I'm eating them like candy. *sigh I can't sleep though. This sucks.


One of my coworkers actually told me I should hire a lawyer and sue the girl at work (she ran over my foot today with an electronic pallet jack....she wasn't even supposed to be touching it). I mean, come on man, I'm not gonna do that. It's not broken or anything (I don't think). I just want it to get better and move on.


----------



## uziq

i feel okay, despite everything falling apart around me. pretty sure it's the gabapentin i was put on, but at least i'm getting things done right now. this is good.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Feeling unwanted and ignored...


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, sad, lonely, bored, tired.


----------



## Shawn81

Useless, pointless, hopeless.


----------



## Maverick34

Decent. Had a good nap


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, sort of feel guilty about that seeing all of the depressed people here.


----------



## Alcadaeus

Depressed at home by myself laying in bed in the dark. What's the point when I can't communicate.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Shawn81

Undesirable.


----------



## Crisigv

Like ****. And horrified as I saw a squirrel fall out of a tree and practically have seizures right outside the church.


----------



## 314

I feel somewhat unexpressed. and some other things (which I won't express, thereby sustaining the feeling).


----------



## JakdawDetective

Tired and a little depressed but otherwise pretty good. Especially compared to yesterday.


----------



## Kevin001

Very stagnant and anxious. I need to start making moves but I'm afraid.


----------



## PandaBearx

Hurt


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Well it's now technically my birthday, I've spent most of the last hour crying and I'm still crying now. And I'm really upset. But it's funny because it's my birthday so of course things are ****.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

Persephone The Dread said:


> Well it's now technically my birthday, I've spent most of the last hour crying and I'm still crying now. And I'm really upset. But it's funny because it's my birthday so of course things are ****.


 I'm sorry. I wish I knew what was wrong.


----------



## SilkyJay

Persephone The Dread said:


> Well it's now technically my birthday, I've spent most of the last hour crying and I'm still crying now. And I'm really upset. But it's funny because it's my birthday so of course things are ****.


well Happy Birthday fellow Aquarian? Aquarius... whatever it is.

Hope things get on the up and up for ya 

My mom is and has been out of town for over a month now and has now pushed her vacation back past the 10th for coming back (my bday) How thoughtful as I'm looking after two places. yay can't wait, to be with literally no1. K 'nough of me, today is your day.


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Persephone The Dread said:


> Well it's now technically my birthday, I've spent most of the last hour crying and I'm still crying now. And I'm really upset. But it's funny because it's my birthday so of course things are ****.


I'm sorry, my birthday certainly does now rather become a more depressing date with every next year. If nothing else, perhaps you get a cake, tea, and so on from your parents, though?


----------



## Persephone The Dread

@Wings of Amnesty thanks, but it's nothing specific. I mean I have a lot of general ongoing stuff especially linked to my economic situation, and I'm worried about my dad's health now too, but it's more just how my mood is at certain times I think that makes things worse, and then I basically lose control of my emotions.



SilkyJay said:


> well Happy Birthday fellow Aquarian? Aquarius... whatever it is.
> 
> Hope things get on the up and up for ya
> 
> My mom is and has been out of town for over a month now and has now pushed her vacation back past the 10th for coming back (my bday) How thoughtful as I'm looking after two places. yay can't wait, to be with literally no1. K 'nough of me, today is your day.


Thank you, I feel a little better right now after speaking to someone so.. I'm probably going to leave the internet now after responding to these posts before I jinx it lol. I have to wake up not too late tomorrow too, and it's already 1:50am now.

To be fair in your timezone it probably isn't my birthday yet 

so your mum will miss your birthday now? That sucks and over a month is a long time too, where'd she go?



CharlotteLydea said:


> I'm sorry, my birthday certainly does now rather become a more depressing date with every next year. If nothing else, perhaps you get a cake, tea, and so on from your parents, though?


Sorry to hear that. I guess it's sort of like new years for me and it makes me feel a bit more aware of time.

I'm not sure, but my dad got me this little soft rabbit which is pretty cute, and I got some cards from some other relatives and one of my friends who lives far away so that was nice. I haven't opened any of them yet though.


----------



## bad baby

feel like i'm going crazy from stress, not only work-related but just living in general, being in this godforsaken place on my own and every little thing is so damn hard, the language barrier, i don't really have anyone - well i guess i've made a few "friends" but i can't shake off the constant nagging feeling of being unwanted and insignificant.. i skype with my mum sometimes but she's always busy doing other things and half-assedly listening to me and her responses aren't even relevant to what i'm saying, and i get frustrated and cut the conversation short. she can't see how much that's hurting me, she's like the only person that i can really talk to  ..they gave me a list of family friends that i can "rely on" but tbh i don't feel like i can rely on them at all, all it is is just more obligations, like it's lunar new year and i have to send my wishes and all that crap. ****. i just want to curl into a ball and not talk to anyone and just..rot. no that's a lie. i don't wanna rot, i wanna blossom. like, i don't miss my old life, like at all, but i am starting to not like this new life either. oftentimes, i just want to run. run *run run* run run run _run_. run away to someplace unfamiliar and lose myself in the wonder and excitement of it all. but then what happens when the magic starts to fade and i find myself alone, again?


----------



## UkrBrig

I feel pretty good today. I hanged out with my stepdad. There was a lovely weather, we were in a new car. We bought wood and paint and we were at some market, and we were at one of the best Mexcian food places, that is in my area. So it was a lovely day. And plus tomorrow's I'll meet one guy, who may become my friend. Or may not become. Also there is gonna be one girl, that I like (but it's not happens, she has a bf). So tomorrow is a good day probably.






Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Ghostly Presence

Full of regret and self-loathing towards everything I do, but that's just my default nature. I feel like I'm halfway between this dimension and some distant fantasy world. Mentally and physically numb. I don't mind it really, I've grown accustomed to feeling this way. Sleep deprivation turns it into a positive.


----------



## Maverick34

Meh


----------



## Findedeux

Happy that I finished most of my moving.

Sad that I missed the gym.


----------



## zonebox

Persephone The Dread said:


> Well it's now technically my birthday, I've spent most of the last hour crying and I'm still crying now. And I'm really upset. But it's funny because it's my birthday so of course things are ****.


You share the same birthday as my youngest daughter. I'm sorry that you had a bad birthday Persephone  I hope you are doing better today.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

more or less fine.

I'm happy that my first 4 assignments were all approved... and the other company is going to begin to have me work in a week . ...


----------



## CopadoMexicano

morose


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Same as usual. Blah.


----------



## zonebox

Just finished cleaning the house, now I feel good that it is out of the way.


----------



## Kevin001

Scared of living tbh. The future scares me.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

I can't ****ing deal with life anymore. My skin is ****ing crawlng like a junkie but nothing is going to satisfy me.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

zonebox said:


> You share the same birthday as my youngest daughter. I'm sorry that you had a bad birthday Persephone  I hope you are doing better today.


Oh when I posted that it was only an hour in in my timezone and before I got to sleep  my birthday is today (7th) but it was OK in the end, I went out, weather was awful though in the evening lol. Thanks though 



Wings of Amnesty said:


> I can't ****ing deal with life anymore. *My skin is ****ing crawlng like a junkie* but nothing is going to satisfy me.


How come?


----------



## Wanderlust89

So lost.


----------



## Shawn81

Useless to everyone.


----------



## uziq

exhausted. burying myself deeper and deeper into situations that do nothing but create anxiety. i lack foresight.


----------



## Ineko

hungry


----------



## Crisigv

no better


----------



## zonebox

Shawn81 said:


> Useless to everyone.


Yep, I know that feeling. You are not so useless, I mean it probably does not mean much, but it is nice to know other people feel the same way sometimes.

We can be useless individuals in this world amongst other useless people, right? Perhaps we can form a group, useless united, and find some niche to fill.


----------



## zonebox

Persephone The Dread said:


> Oh when I posted that it was only an hour in in my timezone and before I got to sleep  my birthday is today (7th) but it was OK in the end, I went out, weather was awful though in the evening lol. Thanks though


 I'm happy it turned out better for you in the end, and as it did turn out better, I wish you a happy belated birthday.


----------



## Kevin001

I woke up feeling kinda sick. Just when I thought I was done with being sick....sucks.


----------



## LostinReverie

Kevin001 said:


> I woke up feeling kinda sick. Just when I thought I was done with being sick....sucks.


Yeah, that does suck. Hope you feel better soon, Kevin.

I'm feeling kind of soft, warm and fuzzy right now.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, sad, lonely, guilty, inadequate, pathetic.


----------



## Kevin001

The Sound of Silence said:


> Yeah, that does suck. Hope you feel better soon, Kevin.
> 
> I'm feeling kind of soft, warm and fuzzy right now.


Thanks. You changed your username? Cool. Warm and fuzzy? Sounds nice. :laugh:


----------



## LostinReverie

Kevin001 said:


> Thanks. You changed your username? Cool. Warm and fuzzy? Sounds nice. :laugh:


Yeah, it was.. but now slipped back into depression. :sigh Such is life.


----------



## MCHB

Chill...well, mostly. I kinda drank half a pot of coffee! :hyper


----------



## cosmicslop

Feeling like I'm trying to get into the flow of things, but I'm awkwardly being pushed around by the flow. It'll get easier in a few weeks, but yeah. Always weird trying out new things.


----------



## Cletis

Still got this damn cold but it is getting better...finally.

(Day 11)


----------



## Nozz

Still sick. Hoping this doesn't stick around too long.


----------



## Findedeux

Feel like I'm having a mid-life crisis thinking about how little I've achieved in life.


----------



## tea111red

mental stamina is very poor.


----------



## Crisigv

sad


----------



## Shawn81

Wide awake. Which is really bad considering the amount of driving I have to do in the morning.


----------



## tehuti88

Worried.


----------



## tea111red

I feel alone in this world and like I don't fit in w/ anyone or belong anywhere.


----------



## Charlottex

stressed


----------



## NerdlySquared

Findedeux said:


> Feel like I'm having a mid-life crisis thinking about how little I've achieved in life.


Try to think of it as still having so many cool things left to do


----------



## NerdlySquared

Charlottex said:


> stressed


Sends soothing thoughts :high5


----------



## NerdlySquared

tehuti88 said:


> Worried.


:squeeze


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad, trying to be productive today. So far so good.


----------



## Shawn81

Like I'm in the wrong place.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like this is my last chance, and I'm about to f*** it up, again.


----------



## smeeble

Hungry and bored


----------



## WhiteKitty

Down and unmotivated....resentful. 

I am a bit tired today, but it's a sunny day unlike most of the season, hasn't been so for weeks....and I really just wanted to recenter self by going out to the nature park, it helps me feel motivated and uplifted. That's just what works for me: I love nature.

However, whenever I plan to do so, I get told I'm just "wasting time fooling around" or "still a little girl who just wants to play". This really hurts and insults me.....the people who talk like this have no good value to base this on and use guilt trips. So, they dislike going out and getting away from the ADD-inducing habits......why do they have to stop me from it? 

I even said I'd be home by 4pm to make supper, and I'd job hunt before this as it's still morning. Still, nope. They are basically telling me that what works for me is a joke excuse and what I love is a distraction from "reality"...which is be a work drone and die staring at screens with no sense of self and nor a true love for anything. I cannot even relax alone for a single hr without being told to "do something useful". Oh ya, I'm introverted too, so I NEEEED this alone time, OUT of the house so Im not bothered

Obviously, I don't feel motivated to do ANYthing right now, I mean.....it's like we aren't even allowed to reward ourselves because it's a wasted second away from "doing something practical". There is nothing truly practical of being unbalanced and edgy! going out is my way to focus....not be "a silly girl".


----------



## uziq

i can't get out of bed 

desperately looking forward to seeing my therapist and psych on friday


----------



## Crisigv

Even though I was crying, my chest feels a little lighter.


----------



## probably offline

uziq said:


> i can't get out of bed
> 
> desperately looking forward to seeing my therapist and psych on friday


Off-topic:

Where is your avatar from?


----------



## uziq

probably offline said:


> Off-topic:
> 
> Where is your avatar from?


i honestly can't remember; most likely deviantart? i can't find the source image on my comp

edit: http://blackcloudconnected.deviantart.com/art/Alone-29284646


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry & restless


----------



## Maverick34

Like not doing anything


----------



## Andras96

It's getting more and more difficult to get myself out of my bed. Maybe it's better this way


----------



## Crisigv

Andras96 said:


> It's getting more and more difficult to get myself out of my bed. Maybe it's better this way


Same


----------



## Wanderlust89

Ashamed.... I didn't learn about the difference between standard deduction and itemized deduction 'til now.


----------



## TryingMara

pretty bad


----------



## TenYears

Satisfied. I do not regret a single post I made on this God-forsaken site today lmao. Not. a. single. one. Some have been deleted. But you know what, it was worth it. And I'd do the same thing again. In a heartbeat.


----------



## Crisigv

Bored, miserable, lonely, annoyed


----------



## tea111red

aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh. things feel like a nightmare and not real.


----------



## ND 123

tea111red said:


> aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh. things feel like a nightmare and not real.


 It's real. :frown2:


----------



## tea111red

ND 123 said:


> It's real. :frown2:


lol, you remind me of someone....


----------



## ND 123

tea111red said:


> lol, you remind me of someone....


 :nerd:


----------



## NerdlySquared

TryingMara said:


> pretty bad


I hope you can feel better soon Mara  You are such a sweet person, I hope things pass quickly and you find yourself again soon. :squeeze


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad. Excited to get the day started. Hopefully my elevated mood will last.


----------



## Ghostly Presence

Cold-hearted and empty. Tired.


----------



## Andras96

I want my hopes and dreams erased. I can't handle this any longer. 

I'd be doing everyone a favor.


----------



## uziq

depressed


----------



## SENNA

Bored, i've done basically nothing today, i kind of look forward to work on Monday. How sad is that?


----------



## Wanderlust89

Infuriated..... I can't believe how ****ing irresponsible he is!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like a dysfunctional mess.


----------



## JakdawDetective

Tired but other than that pretty good.


----------



## tea111red

gloomy.


----------



## ND 123

:squeeze


tea111red said:


> gloomy.


----------



## tea111red

ND 123 said:


> :squeeze


lol, thanks


----------



## ND 123

tea111red said:


> lol, thanks


 np:smile2:


----------



## Nitrogen

I don't know how to describe how I'm feeling. It's probably bad, but I don't even feel like I'm here. My worst coping mechanism may be helping me at this time, my mind is telling me the pain is really too severe to bother acknowledging it. I've forgotten about what I've done today. I can't remember a thing. Dissociation is getting this bad, because..I don't feel like I'm even existing.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

****. this is just par for the course though. feeling like trash is like feeling like myself. since i'm trash.


----------



## Kevin001

Ok. I had a somewhat productive day. I feel like a flower that starting to blossom, I just hope I don't die quickly after I blossom.


----------



## Crisigv

heartbroken


----------



## Andras96

Not good. Never good... I need to disappear. That's it kid. Just take your medicine, and then disappear for the nest 12-16 hours.


----------



## SilentLyric

tired.


----------



## Ghostly Presence

I'm feeling pretty okay. Left my apartment at 3AM and went on a night walk for the first time in years. Felt strange to be out in the real world after so long. My agoraphobia has really made me delusional and paranoid. Got a couple hours of exercise out of it. Most productive day I've had in an eternity.


----------



## Wanderlust89

I'm gonna go for a jog around the park and I'm feeling a bit anxious. I haven't done that since I was a teen. I'm excited as well.


----------



## Kevin001

Awful. I just went driving on the road and I was super nervous it was intense. Then me and my uncle started talking about jobs and I automatically got scared. I feel like crying now. It seems like the world is too much for me. I will keep trying but its so hard to "make" it in the world.


----------



## Andras96

Heh... the more I try to change things, the more they stay the same. 

I think it's time I went invisible for good. No one will notice.


----------



## Cletis

A little better. Seem to have more energy lately.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty good I suppose....


----------



## Kellyacs

That was a very nice thing to see. My first thing read on here.


----------



## zonebox

Things are starting to turn around, I may be out of poverty this time next year. I'm feeling pretty good about that, and I've also gotten back into programming which has been keeping me entertained. That and several other computer related hobbies, damn the 40s might not be so bad after all. Everything is working out pretty good right now, for the first time in 8 years since I was laid off from IBM. 

And hey, I have 10 cold beers in the refrigerator waiting for me. Life is pretty good right now, things are looking up, I hope to be sailing the gulf of mexico next year on the little sailboat I've been wanting to repair for the past four years


----------



## Crisigv

Not good now that I'm home.


----------



## Nozz

Still sick. It would be really nice if it were done by the end of the weekend.


----------



## TenYears

Actually....pretty alright right now...pretty good. I'm in shock because when I'm alone I'm usually in a state of depression, mixed with anxiety, mixed with feelings of loss and regret and self-hatred and wishing my life would just end. I'm a little confused because I'm not used to feeling OK. Especially not when I'm isolated for this long, with nothing but my own thoughts.


----------



## harrison

Feeling pretty good. Will be on my way again in a week and looking forward to it. I thought this relationship would be over by now but it looks like it's just getting started.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Really sad.


----------



## Kevin001

SamanthaStrange said:


> Really sad.


I hope things get better for you.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Kevin001 said:


> I hope things get better for you.


Thank you, Kevin. :squeeze I love that gif.


----------



## JustThisGuy

At a loss.


----------



## Kevin001

SamanthaStrange said:


> I love that gif.


I thought you would. :laugh:


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless. Almost like I was never loved at all.


----------



## Mur

Relaxed


----------



## andretti

like a fattie
. just ate a bomb as dinner that i chef'd up. 
I gotta head to the gym right now and work off these calories
. just waiting for my girls to fall asleep. they being very disobedient and im not impressed by them one bit,. so i feel fat and annoyed at the moment.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

like i'm being stimulated; though there's nothing to _be_ stimulated. like there's faster flow through my veins yet no change in the amount of substance. it sucks tbh.


----------



## Krieg

I feel like my brain is on fire. I need someone else to help me occupy it.


----------



## andretti

just got back from the gym . gym is packed on friday nights. quite a few cuties there as well. had a good workout , feeling sore af , before the gym I ran into this chick at the gas station that dissed me awhile back. im just neutral towards her , it didnt even phase me when she dissed me when i asked for her number. she telling me why i smell good and she wanted to have a longer conversation but i wasnt with it. Told her i had things to do and i got to go. 

 feeling good right now after that workout.


----------



## TenYears

Really bored as ***. I just cannot stay home every day, doing nothing basically. This is my 9th straight day at home, after getting hurt on the job last week. It's nice not having to deal with the anxiety of being around coworkers and dealing with work, but I don't like being this isolated, for this long. I might go see a movie later on, just to get out of the house ffs. Seeing a movie tomorrow is out of the question, of course. I'll probably talk to my kids later. Play my PlayStation, I have one game I haven't even looked at yet. Maybe try to finish the book I started. And I've got a bunch of movies on my laptop I haven't seen yet. *sigh* man I'm starting to hate this, and I might have another few weeks of it.


----------



## TenYears

don said:


> Feeling pretty good. Will be on my way again in a week and looking forward to it. I thought this relationship would be over by now but it looks like it's just getting started.


Good to hear, man. It's nice to hear when things work out in a relationship, esp on this site where it seems like a lot of the time there's nothing but frustration and hurt feelings and bad news (from myself also lol).



SamanthaStrange said:


> Really sad.


I hope you feel better Samantha. Stay strong.


----------



## Crisigv

really tired, i'm glad my shift is short today


----------



## TryingMara

Bored, unmotivated, tired.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

fine... relaxed. i have to get my somewhat toned as* of this seat and do some exercise soon tho


----------



## thomasjune

I feel good. I have nothing to do for the rest of the day and I love it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I feel sick


----------



## Crisigv

exhausted


----------



## starsfire

I am feeling nothing like .. Blah and a bunch of things at once . sick stomach problems under my ribs hurt i got a tooth pulled like 4 days ago and its bothersome i have anxitey about that. Is it infected does it look normal . and bunch of other stuff. Im sad . and lonely . and i keep thinking im going to just die and be in hell. Like one seconed here the next in hell burning in pain. Im scared to sleep but affraid to be awake. A bunch of stuff really.


----------



## Depo

Tired... of everything.


----------



## Prince Adrian

Can't believe it. I truly can STAY home all day!! ..despite there's some little @#&*!!#^$);!!!! annoyances. Don't want to be bothered with these things anymore even just a passing-flashing away!


----------



## social anxiety guy

so sad


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel pretty good. in fact a lot better than the last feb 14 last year i remember.. but that was because of her deceit and deception. anyway if she's miserable now this proves maybe Karma exists, and I'm free from her lies now and I feel happy.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

back to the grind.


----------



## Crisigv

meh


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Defective.


----------



## NerdlySquared

TryingMara said:


> Bored, unmotivated, tired.


:squeeze


----------



## The Starry night

Crap :/


----------



## TenYears

Lonely. But, I gotta say my gameplan is working (so far). Distract, distract, distract.


My fb and a couple other sites I'm on are just full of Valentines love and kisses between couples (blllleeeeehhhhhh) but so far I'm dealing OK. I'm single on valentines day. Big fing deal.


My parents invited me to go see Deadpool with them but I just wasn't feeling up to it, and didn't want to get out, hobbling around with a broken foot lol.


----------



## naptime

Not good


----------



## Barakiel

Things could be better, they could be worse, I just wish "meh" wasn't my default mood though.


----------



## Raulz

Just getting by in the humdrum world that is life.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

got them stimmy feels bruhhh

*bobs head up & down to bonetrousle*


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Barakiel said:


> Things could be better, they could be worse, I just wish "meh" wasn't my default mood though.


Meh. (see what I did there huehue) Feeling 'meh' is better than feeling bad. In fact, it's basically 'fine'... except not in the meme way lol. Meh is basically an ideal 'default mood' tbh. It's better than feeling crap lol.


----------



## Rains

Tired and post-migrainous.


----------



## unemployment simulator

bit stressed out. trying to sort out a courier delivery for something I bought and the person it needs to be picked up from ain't making much effort at all... mind you, thats just an assumption, it might be that they are disabled or have some difficulty doing simple stuff? no idea, don't want to pry.
have a horrible feeling something is gonna **** up with this transaction.


----------



## stewartmays1

since i have been working out again im feeling better thank god


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lost.


----------



## ladysmurf

Dissapointed with life...So much pain and suffering. I used to love life (when the medication worked) now for the past 8 years I am miserable and every day is a struggle. No hope for the future. Will never see my dreams come true, what a nice way to live


----------



## ladysmurf

stewartmays1 said:


> since i have been working out again im feeling better thank god


thats good. i really need to start doing that, but im just so lazy and unmotivated  i love your icon.


----------



## stewartmays1

ladysmurf said:


> thats good. i really need to start doing that, but im just so lazy and unmotivated  i love your icon.


just start of small 15 mins a day thats what i did now i train every day for a good hour or so :grin2:


----------



## melancholyxmike

I'm feeling a little lonely but other than that I'm fantastic.


----------



## ladysmurf

stewartmays1 said:


> just start of small 15 mins a day thats what i did now i train every day for a good hour or so :grin2:


im not really a gym person. i'd rather do martial arts. im so depressed though that i havent been leaving my house 

hopefully things will change soon.


----------



## luckeyboy

I feel fed up,fu.cke.d up,tired,unstable,bored,exhausted,useless.....'A LOSER
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Crisigv

confused
worthless
sad
pathetic


----------



## LostinReverie

Mood swing every three minutes and I'm not even premenstrual. My brain seems to be deteriorating at an alarming rate. Thanks, brain.


----------



## Wanderlust89

I feel broken.


----------



## MCHB

Back's been sore the past couple days; I believe it's an old injury that's been triggered by all the physical activity I've been doing lately. Last time it acted up was around Christmas. Other than that, I'm feeling optimistic.


----------



## porphyria14

I'm so lonely and sad all the time.


----------



## marianammsfc

My boyfriend pretty much spent the whole day telling me how ****ty he thinks I am. I am thinking about breaking up and super anxious about it, and I'm scared to start the 2nd semester tomorrow, I was bullied and ignored last time I was in college


----------



## CopadoMexicano

_scared_


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious
Sad
Lonely
Stupid
Regretful


----------



## Wanderlust89

So lost and alone.


----------



## Wanderlust89

This week has been an emotional roller coaster. First, an ending of a friendship, and now I'm going to move into a new home next month.

It also feels like I'm learning to be by myself again. I had gotten used to doing many things together with my former friend: preparing meals, watching funny shows, going out to eat or for drinks, going to work together.... It still hurts like the first day.


----------



## uziq

caffeinated


----------



## harrison

Getting excited, but also a bit scared.


----------



## TheSkinnyOne

AGITATED, DEPRESSED

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using Tapatalk


----------



## herk

deflated from yesterday, nervous about today


----------



## Cletis

Quite a bit better, thank you.


----------



## Fat Man

Hopeless as usual


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Spent


----------



## McFly

Abdomen is killing me.


----------



## Arbre

Nanosupport8 said:


> Hopeless as usual


I've been feeling that way too lately. I hope things turn around for you, Nano.


----------



## vela

So sad and alone.. :crying:


----------



## herk

the self loathing has been pretty intense lately, trying to get my mind back in the right place


----------



## TryingMara

exhausted


----------



## DerrickOdea

Feeling fresh and motivated, had a 30 mins walk outside.


----------



## NerdlySquared

TryingMara said:


> exhausted


Sends Energy


----------



## NerdlySquared

vela said:


> So sad and alone.. :crying:


:squeeze

I hope you can feel better soon, I know how awful feeling like that is


----------



## NerdlySquared

herk said:


> the self loathing has been pretty intense lately, trying to get my mind back in the right place


Good on you  I hope you can get it there quickly.


----------



## NerdlySquared

don said:


> Getting excited, but also a bit scared.


Most of the really good worthwhile things in life start off with exactly that combination of feelings  I wish you luck in whatever it is! :yay


----------



## NerdlySquared

McFly said:


> Abdomen is killing me.


I hope you can feel better soon.


----------



## Tinycorn

Pissed off


----------



## UkrBrig

I am really stressed. Just moved in US and I am going in school here, 10th grade (16 years old). And I have SA.

Thus is so horrifying. I don't know how to find a proper classroom, how to answer on questions from teachers, where to take a seat, because I can take someone's seat by mistake, I don't know how to act... I'll probably just gonna end staring in the wall and sweating.

I am very depressed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TenYears

Sad.


I miss her. So much.


My ex-gf's girls are posting "remember three years ago" and "remember four years ago" and all that on fb. There are pics of me and her. It just....I go somewhere else when I see those, I shut down, I just want to die ffs. I miss her so, so, so much it hurts. I really didn't know you could miss another human being this much. I had no idea you could hurt this much, from missing someone you loved. Ffs.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

I Feel pretty good i suppose. .. plus someone sent me a song i was desperate that i couldnt find anywhere else... and now it makes me think of her every time LOL. 

otherwise... im a so a bit bored... my last assignments have been approved ( making it 36 outta 36) but theres been hardly anything today..... so far.


----------



## Zosie92

Awful. Coworker found the feedback forms we'd been asked to write, then proceeded to shout at me in front of everyone about what I'd written. Fab day.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## Barakiel

Taking naps during the day always messes me up. I was doing just fine and now I'm anxious again :\


----------



## TryingMara

NerdlySquared said:


> Sends Energy


mmm yum, my fave- thanks! I could always use more (liquid) energy


----------



## Crisigv

Tired, miserable, lonely, hungry

Also worried about my grandmother who is now in the hospital. I hope it's not a heart issue as first thought. Also, I hope my mom is okay too, she's been there since last night.


----------



## Kevin001

Kinda tired but overall I'm ok .


----------



## TenYears

fuqthis


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

I've had some abdomen pain and a little diarrhoea, but mainly just tired now. I've spent most of today in bed sleeping, wish this bug would go away.


----------



## ZombieIcecream

I dont want to go to class tomorrow


----------



## McFly

NerdlySquared said:


> I hope you can feel better soon.


Thanks, it was dehydration during a heat wave.


----------



## jealousisjelly

better than i have ever felt in my life


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Slightly tired and stuffed up.


----------



## Wanderlust89

Feeling down again. 
I'm still not over what happened. I didn't get to enjoy my first day off because of that. 
I thought I'd feel free from all his bull**** and negativity but instead I feel like such a fool and unloved.


----------



## TenYears

Missing her.


I was cleaning out my email and going through some of the older stuff. (I don't throw anything away, I'm a serious hoarder). I found some stuff from years ago. I found some things that I emailed to myself, from my old cell phone, when I didn't even have the cell phone number I have now. I was like wtf? what is this from and then I realized it was from me lmao. They were pics I sent to myself of my kids. And of my ex-gf. Anyways I sent those pics to myself because I didn't want them to get lost, in case I lost my phone. I do that from time to time. I have thousands of pics on my phone and I'll occasionally send them to my laptop to back them up. Anyways going through those old pics really brought back some memories.


I miss her.


She was my best friend. In the whole world.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

saltier than instant noodle flavor sachets ((((


----------



## NerdlySquared

Feeling pretty restless, sleep seems so far away tonight, really worried about someone :rain I really need to find a distraction just to keep my mind from imagining too much.


----------



## NerdlySquared

McFly said:


> Thanks, it was dehydration during a heat wave.


That can end up being pretty serious pretty fast, I am very glad you are ok McFly


----------



## NerdlySquared

TryingMara said:


> mmm yum, my fave- thanks! I could always use more (liquid) energy


More you say Mara? well that can be arranged :grin2: :yay










I hope you found the energy you needed that day Mara


----------



## NerdlySquared

Wanderlust89 said:


> Feeling down again.
> I'm still not over what happened. I didn't get to enjoy my first day off because of that.
> I thought I'd feel free from all his bull**** and negativity but instead I feel like such a fool and unloved.


It's never going to be easy  Time will help in the end, it always does, I hope you can find your peace in the mean time. :squeeze


----------



## NerdlySquared

CharlotteLydea said:


> I've had some abdomen pain and a little diarrhoea, but mainly just tired now. I've spent most of today in bed sleeping, wish this bug would go away.


I hope you can feel better soon Charlotte :squeeze


----------



## LostinReverie

I was content and in a good mood two seconds ago. Why am I crying?


----------



## TenYears

My stomach hurts. I'm so, so sick and tired of having stress-related illnesses, ffs. I'm tired of my stomach hurting every time I start freaking out. I'm really hurting and I'm not going to go to the doctor, there is no f-ing way.


----------



## andretti

alright. just got my federal tax refund  that a put a smile on my face.


----------



## Wanderlust89

NerdlySquared said:


> It's never going to be easy  Time will help in the end, it always does, I hope you can find your peace in the mean time. :squeeze


Thank you, I really appreciate the warm words.


----------



## Cletis

A little better every day. Making good progress. :yes


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

NerdlySquared said:


> I hope you can feel better soon Charlotte :squeeze


Thanks, I'm feeling rather better now


----------



## NerdlySquared

Wanderlust89 said:


> Thank you, I really appreciate the warm words.


I am glad they could be even a small comfort :squeeze


----------



## NerdlySquared

CharlotteLydea said:


> Thanks, I'm feeling rather better now


It makes me very happy to hear that :yay


----------



## Maverick34

Foggy


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lightly toasted


----------



## TenYears

Goddddddddddddammmmiittttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Marakunda

Really ****in depressed. Out of nowhere.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

****ing terrible. I feel like I've been cursed for the last 6-7 years or so and that I keep spiraling down into a dark pit. Everything just seems to get worse every year. Nothing gets better.


----------



## Flora20

Really tired..


----------



## Fat Man

Eggshell said:


> I've been feeling that way too lately. I hope things turn around for you, Nano.


 Thanks man, that means a lot. I hope things get better for you as well.


----------



## tehuti88

I want to die. :crying:


----------



## Crisigv

annoyed


----------



## unemployment simulator

back is killing me, to the point where its painful to move. I gotta get over to a relatives house to get some washing done and also get some shopping, this is gonna be fun....


----------



## Kevin001

A little anxious, I have to go driving soon.


----------



## Nicole G

Mixture of everything


----------



## SamanthaStrange

So tired of living.


----------



## uziq

pretty dead, had like 12 hours of sleep over the past 3 days


----------



## caelle

I feel effed up and really lonely


----------



## MCHB

Hyper.


----------



## TenYears

Lmfao.


Oh, man you just cannot make this stuff up. Heh.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling okay for only having 2 hours of sleep.


----------



## NerdlySquared

I'm sad my friend can't feel safe here anymore  That she has to feel so under assault. I'm pissed off that people have made it such a hostile place for her. I hate what she has to deal with and I hate that a guy from her past won't leave her alone, just shadowing her like a bad memory for some selfish petty reason  I wish her life was easier and that people would be kinder. I hope she will find a way to cope and that this place would stop making that harder :rain


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

NerdlySquared, sorry about your friend. 

Uh, fan-bloody-tastic! How's that? d:


----------



## NerdlySquared

sarafinanickelbocker said:


> NerdlySquared, sorry about your friend.
> 
> Uh, fan-bloody-tastic! How's that? d:


I just wish her life was easier  I appreciate your kind words, thank you.


----------



## NerdlySquared

tehuti88 said:


> I want to die. :crying:


:squeeze I don't want you to  But I do wish the pain that's causing you to feel that way would go away :squeeze


----------



## funnynihilist

Like a limp McDonald's French fry


----------



## SilentLyric

down, but at the same time elated.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

NerdlySquared said:


> I'm sad my friend can't feel safe here anymore  That she has to feel so under assault. I'm pissed off that people have made it such a hostile place for her. I hate what she has to deal with and I hate that a guy from her past won't leave her alone, just shadowing her like a bad memory for some selfish petty reason  I wish her life was easier and that people would be kinder. I hope she will find a way to cope and that this place would stop making that harder :rain


i know who you mean, and i also know more than i want to divulge about this here. and its made me pissed off to... because i know the effect this will have on her. ...

so i feel angry on one side, but i feel good about myself for a separate reason with something unrelated... but its half tinted now.


----------



## Crisigv

not so good


----------



## uziq

inadequate and lazy af


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, sad, lonely, tired, moody, same sh** different day, plus I have a headache.


----------



## odetoanoddity

Weird. Time and what you do with that time really does give perspective on things. I feel like I'm seeing some things in my past with a clearer lens. That's the power of hindsight, I guess.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MCHB

Sore. Mellow, but sore.


----------



## catcharay

My mum does not love me, she uses me. That's how I feel.To her I don't have much contribution. Dishes, make tea, iron dads clothes, make dads lunch etc. What a lazy mum lol yes I like to be helpful but when she is expectant of only me to do things, based on my personality.. that is totally taking advantage of me because I am obliging and feel bad for not being helpful. Should I feel bad? My siblings don't feel guilt. You expect that from ppl on the outside not your mum. When I come home to visit.. Pretty much slave mode. Don't want to whinge but my treatment is different because of my anxiety etc


Thank god I go home tomorrow.


----------



## harrison

I'm feeling great. Very glad I fought through the fear and made it here to see her again.


----------



## LemonBones

A healthy failure. Feeling healthy but realise I've done zero with my life. Strange combo.


----------



## zonebox

don said:


> I'm feeling great. Very glad I fought through the fear and made it here to see her again.


Sweet, I'm happy for you don.


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> Sweet, I'm happy for you don.


Thanks a lot mate - hope things are good with you and your family.


----------



## zonebox

don said:


> Thanks a lot mate - hope things are good with you and your family.


Yep, things are going pretty good dude. My wife got a job as a teacher, so things are looking up


----------



## AlwaysAlive

Neutral is probably the best word to describe it


----------



## ShatteredGlass

like i'm connected to the world via a connection that is failing to provide adequate energy output.


----------



## tea111red

not very hopeful.


----------



## unemployment simulator

tired, can't sleep properly, worried and stressed out.


----------



## LostinReverie

Not well. Just shredded my arm up pretty good.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

The Sound of Silence said:


> Not well. Just shredded my arm up pretty good.


 Why? What happened?


----------



## LostinReverie

WillYouStopDave said:


> Why? What happened?


Just got overwhelmed, needed release.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

The Sound of Silence said:


> Just got overwhelmed, needed release.


 I'm sorry. I wish I knew what else to say.


----------



## Rains

Extremely tired, and my eyes and nose are burning. Feel like I'm getting sick?


----------



## LostinReverie

WillYouStopDave said:


> I'm sorry. I wish I knew what else to say.


No need to be sorry. Same old, same old.


----------



## asshashan

*can i be someone else!?*

I just wish I was good enough for this world........for me!!!:crying:


----------



## KILOBRAVO

im fine.... was a nice day. making progress with the work i suppose. getting better grades averages for the tasks.... therefore better bonuses. just got to stick with it and do what i can.


----------



## tea111red

I'm so tired of feeling so depressed and like I'm in hell.


----------



## ljubo

I want to die. Not tomorrow or in 3 years, i want to die right now.

I will never get better, always i will remain the loser i am.


----------



## Crisigv

like le poop


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like it's time for me to start actively detaching from people.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm ok. Neck hurts a bit but I'm good.


----------



## Crisigv

Work didn't help to distract me, so I still feel like ****.


----------



## MCHB

Contemplative tonight. There's a saying that's been on my mind the past few days, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Sometimes we do things with the best intentions at heart, but how we go about it leaves a lot to be desired and it winds up causing more harm than good. I guess after awhile, you start to find patterns in everything and start seeing life events and situations from both sides and start asking yourself, "How and why did this occur?" , "What could have prevented this?" , "What could have been done differently?" and lastly, "What can be learned from this to prevent it from happening again?" Those four questions hold true in every aspect of life.


----------



## jsgt

Woken up by cats fighting...then I look outside and it's snowing! Snow always puts me in a good mood so...today will be a good day. :cup


----------



## Maverick34

Cold. Sometimes my room gets too warm from the furnace. Overnight I closed the vent because I sleep better with a lower temp, but didn't expect to wake up to 64 & lightly raining


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty good I suppose. not much reason I should feel bad about myself at least.


----------



## Nitrogen

Unable to articulate it but I feel like I'm just overwhelmed and my head won't stop spinning and if I could quiet it down I would


----------



## MCHB

Tired and my side is kinda sore. Busy day, but got a lot done! Presently trying to muster up the motivation to bike tonight (it's like a zombified mantra; muuuuust bike....muuuuuuuuuuust bike.....unghhhhhh.....pedals...)


----------



## uziq

dysthymic


----------



## Crisigv

Alright, for once


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Lonely, but what else is new... I wish I could sleep so I don't think about it.


----------



## shortcake

Nervous. I have a dentist appointment later which I am not looking forward to :I


----------



## TenYears

I was nervous as *** a few minutes ago but better now. I'm standing in lobby of a post office, waiting to turn in application for passport and there must be 25 or 30 other people waiting. Managed to strike up a conversation with the guy in front of me and then the woman behind me joined in. Both the guy and I are going on cruises this summer (different destinations), she is going to Paris to visit family. I'm a little nervous about turning in the app. I mean, I don't really have any reason to be. They both told me there's nothing to it. But you don't just turn in the paperwork. Little more to it than that. And then it takes 4 to 6 weeks to get approved. God I hope it goes through. Pleeeease!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mixed emotions. Unstable, basically.


----------



## LostinReverie

Horrible. I think I'm going to start weaning myself off the zoloft.


----------



## Depo

Content. I'm here laying on my bed with my laptop on my tummy, listening to music, drinking tea and reading the internet, maybe I'll play a videogame or read a book in a little while. At this time of day, the sun is casting its light into my room through the window. I love that, it makes my room feel so cozy. I go to work in the afternoons, so it will be another good day. Ever since I left my scumbag ex-bf I feel relieved, now I don't have to worry about what he's doing or who he is meeting (to have sex with.) I'll just take my benzos before starting my shift, enjoy my job, feel like a zombie at the end of the day and take more benzos before I go to sleep. Then, repeat... I'm lucky I don't hate routines as much as other people do and I can manage being alone. :smile2:


----------



## truant

I'd feel better if I wasn't constantly waking up from my sleep after an hour or two with a mini-panic attack.

I'm getting tired, yo. I just want to sleep. :crying:


----------



## Overdrive

good


----------



## thomasjune

Anxious as ****. I need a vacation before I lose my mind. Also worried about a family member.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LostinReverie

This isolation is killing me


----------



## Crisigv

Meh


----------



## The Starry night

Stuck......................


----------



## Kevin001

Anxious. I have acne issues that I need to get looked at and a small lump on the back of my neck. I'm just too anxious to schedule an appointment. Another part of me just doesn't care. I'm so stagnant.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

garbage. can't focus on anything. it's all futile. let me lie down and chat meaningless blabber to the ceiling.


----------



## OldWhiteDude

Kevin001 said:


> Anxious. I have acne issues that I need to get looked at and a small lump on the back of my neck. I'm just too anxious to schedule an appointment. Another part of me just doesn't care. I'm so stagnant.


99% of small lumps you will ever find are absolutely nothing to worry about, especially if they're not painful and not growing. Also, I used to have terrible Acne, some of the worst I have ever seen, and I used a product called Acutane. It does come with its own set of issues for sure, but it took my acne away 100% so was worth it to me in the end, maybe something to ask your dermatologist about.


----------



## OldWhiteDude

OldWhiteDude said:


> 99% of small lumps you will ever find are absolutely nothing to worry about, especially if they're not painful and not growing. Also, I used to have terrible Acne, some of the worst I have ever seen, and I used a product called Acutane. It does come with its own set of issues for sure, but it took my acne away 100% so was worth it to me in the end, maybe something to ask your dermatologist about.


P.s. still see a dr just to be sure, he's gonna tell you your fine


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Rejected. I don't even know if I have been, but I'm assuming I have. Also so alone, with no one to help take my mind off of everything that's bothering me. ****, I hate this...


----------



## Kevin001

OldWhiteDude said:


> 99% of small lumps you will ever find are absolutely nothing to worry about, especially if they're not painful and not growing. Also, I used to have terrible Acne, some of the worst I have ever seen, and I used a product called Acutane. It does come with its own set of issues for sure, but it took my acne away 100% so was worth it to me in the end, maybe something to ask your dermatologist about.


Thanks for the advice . My acne isn't bad enough for accutane, at least I don't think it is :um. Yeah, hopefully the lump is nothing. I'm trying to eat healthier so hopefully that helps my skin a little. I'll continue to monitor things.


----------



## tea111red

old, depressed.


----------



## Maverick34

Crappyish. One of my worst days in awhile but I heard something really BRIGHT today


----------



## TenYears

A little overwhelmed, but.....better.


Everything is going to be alright.


As long as we keep talking. As long as we keep being honest about where we are. And what we need.


----------



## Crisigv

bored


----------



## ND 123

tea111red said:


> old, depressed.


same here.:nerd:


----------



## uziq

whatever


----------



## tea111red

ND 123 said:


> same here.:nerd:


i guess it's nice to not feel alone in feeling this way.


----------



## PlayerOffGames

tea111red said:


> i guess it's nice to not feel alone in feeling this way.


youd never be that nice to me


----------



## harrison

So strange how you can feel so terrified one day and ok the next. Yesterday I was almost having a bloody panic attack - caused by culture shock, and missing my family back in Australia. This area is insane and completely overwhelming - I was afraid to even walk down the "street" - not surprising really as it's a ****-hole. I did though. 

I really need to toughen up.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm in discomfort. My neck hurts more than yesterday. The little lump in my neck is very tender. I so don't want to see a doctor.......ugh.


----------



## Kevin001

Jeff271 said:


> Try some witch hazel on the area.


Hmm, thanks for the advice .


----------



## uziq

rather normal


----------



## naptime

Exited. I'm going to Ikea and then going to see Deadpool tomorrow :clap


----------



## Alcadaeus

Detached, my 2 main forms of social interaction both online and offline both mia within a 3 day period.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TenYears

Awesome 


My youngest, who is the most beautiful twelve year old girl in the entire world but also pretty skinny and lanky and very thin, and gets teased for that, among other things....just got first place in her junior hs track meet for high jump.


She is...just absolutely fearless. I love that about her.


----------



## Crisigv

naptime said:


> Exited. I'm going to Ikea and then going to see Deadpool tomorrow :clap


I'm jealous of both of those things.

I'm feeling a bit sad, but that's normal.


----------



## PlayerOffGames

tired


----------



## Maverick34

Fighting through my meh to get things done


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Disposable.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm ok. I shouldn't have drunken that carbonated water though. Got me bloated.


----------



## Crisigv

Just hopeless. And scared, and sad, and fat, and ugly, and worthless.


----------



## SplendidBob

Rather unpleasant stomach problem that's been hounding me for 3 weeks. Just had a couple of co-codamol though, which despite the low amount of codeine in actually gives me a surprising little mood boost, so yeh, all good at this moment


----------



## naptime

Lost.



Crisigv said:


> I'm jealous of both of those things.


Don't be. Ikea was packed with people and they all walk so f***ing slow. I just wanted to get the heck out of there. And Deadpool was a bit of a letdown.


----------



## Crisigv

naptime said:


> Don't be. Ikea was packed with people and they all walk so f***ing slow. I just wanted to get the heck out of there. And Deadpool was a bit of a letdown.


Well that's disappointing. But I'm used to Ikea being busy. Lucky enough to find parking sometimes.


----------



## uziq

despondent


----------



## tea111red

lonely and starved for affection.


----------



## NerdlySquared

SamanthaStrange said:


> Disposable.


You are not! :squeeze But I do understand where that feeling comes from  :squeeze I hope no one ever makes you feel that way again. :squeeze


----------



## NerdlySquared

tea111red said:


> lonely and starved for affection.


I hope the companionship and affection you will eventually find will make the memories of this feeling just a passing distant dream. I'm really sorry you are feeling it now  I really hope things get better :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

NerdlySquared said:


> I hope the companionship and affection you will eventually find will make the memories of this feeling just a passing distant dream. I'm really sorry you are feeling it now  I really hope things get better :squeeze


thanks.....i don't really have a hopeful attitude about ever finding it (i really don't know how to anymore), but i appreciate you being hopeful for me.


----------



## NerdlySquared

don said:


> So strange how you can feel so terrified one day and ok the next. Yesterday I was almost having a bloody panic attack - caused by culture shock, and missing my family back in Australia. This area is insane and completely overwhelming - I was afraid to even walk down the "street" - not surprising really as it's a ****-hole. I did though.
> 
> I really need to toughen up.


Drastic change is not fundamentally easy for most people, especially when it comes in such a sudden quick shift of everything around you. Don't beat yourself up so much  It sounds like you are already adapting quickly :yay


----------



## Rains

Extremely disappointed.


----------



## NerdlySquared

tea111red said:


> thanks.....i don't really have a hopeful attitude about ever finding it (i really don't know how to anymore), but i appreciate you being hopeful for me.


I will hope for us both then  and be happy for you on the day you remember how  and even happier on the day you find it  crosses all fingers for you...toes too  :squeeze


----------



## NerdlySquared

Rains said:


> Extremely disappointed.


 :squeeze


----------



## cnate

pissed, my network got hacked and I'm probably going to have all my **** ****ed with. ****!!!!


----------



## harrison

NerdlySquared said:


> Drastic change is not fundamentally easy for most people, especially when it comes in such a sudden quick shift of everything around you. Don't beat yourself up so much  It sounds like you are already adapting quickly :yay


Thanks a lot for the encouragement. It's funny because I've been to Indonesia many times but this area is pretty full-on as we say in Australia. I'm also staying in a pretty cheap apartment - I'm the only Westerner here in this part of Jakarta. It's a huge block of apartments - actually a number of huge blocks all together. I've never seen anything like it before - and I am definitely the only foreigner here.

I usually stay in a hotel or a better quality place so this place is sort of - challenging.  I'm getting tougher though.


----------



## LostinReverie

Like ****. Was all set up to meet a guy and he backed out. Plane ticket is nonrefundable. I ****ing hate myself.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

NerdlySquared said:


> You are not! :squeeze But I do understand where that feeling comes from  :squeeze I hope no one ever makes you feel that way again. :squeeze


Thank you. I appreciate your kindness. :squeeze


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired/restless


----------



## akari

Strangely satisfied yet empty.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## eveningbat

Scared.


----------



## tea111red

depressed......


----------



## michaelgoodvibes

Lonely and sad. Pretty standard for me.


----------



## Crisigv

Stupid. I don't know why I keep sending messages when they are obviously not wanted.


----------



## nepnep247

not very neppy


----------



## flyingMint

Kinda sad, my username got a 0/10 on the rate the username thread!  I'll get over it.. eventually....


----------



## Wanderlust89

Hopeful. I can't wait to get out of this roach and rat infested dump with all the low lifes inside.

Speaking of which, I don't move into my new place 'til another 3 days but I want to finish packing up most of my stuff today otherwise I'll be too tired from work before my move-in day. I hope the energy drink will help me.


----------



## funnynihilist

blah


----------



## Overdrive

depressed, just want to sleep and hibernate.


----------



## zonebox

I need a long vacation, preferably somewhere out in the forests far away from people.


----------



## lonerroom

I feel so Clervorriellestisticlompicotique


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty good. I'm doing something I like, getting better at it, get feedback from... and I feel close so someone nice that supports me and I support her.


----------



## NerdlySquared

don said:


> Thanks a lot for the encouragement. It's funny because I've been to Indonesia many times but this area is pretty full-on as we say in Australia. I'm also staying in a pretty cheap apartment - I'm the only Westerner here in this part of Jakarta. It's a huge block of apartments - actually a number of huge blocks all together. I've never seen anything like it before - and I am definitely the only foreigner here.
> 
> I usually stay in a hotel or a better quality place so this place is sort of - challenging.  I'm getting tougher though.


I sympathise with how challenging and foreign such an environment must feel like. I have always been surprised with how quickly people including myself can get used to and adapt to new circumstances and I hope that can happen quickly for you to make it all a bit easier. It really sounds like you have started on that path tho. I'm glad you are looking at it as way to become an even stronger person, that's a great attitude and approach to have for sure  Good luck out there, stay safe


----------



## NerdlySquared

KILOBRAVO said:


> pretty good. I'm doing something I like, getting better at it, get feedback from... and I feel close so someone nice that supports me and I support her.


I'm really glad things are working out for you  I hope hey continue to and all your plans pan out even better then you expect  :yay


----------



## harrison

NerdlySquared said:


> I sympathise with how challenging and foreign such an environment must feel like. *I have always been surprised with how quickly people including myself can get used to and adapt to new circumstances *and I hope that can happen quickly for you to make it all a bit easier. It really sounds like you have started on that path tho. I'm glad you are looking at it as way to become an even stronger person, that's a great attitude and approach to have for sure  Good luck out there, stay safe


It is amazing how quickly we can learn to adapt, that's true. I find with culture shock that just putting yourself in a fairly unpleasant situation really does make you adapt quickly.

I was in Manila a long time ago and at first I was terrified. I went down to a beautiful island called Boracay where at that time they had no electricity or hot water and proceeded to run out of money. I had to travel back to the capital on a terrible old ship - sleeping in a bunk with all the locals and their chickens. By the time I got back I wasn't even fazed when there was a fire in my hotel or I heard gunshots outside. I was just annoyed that they were interrupting my lunch.


----------



## Crisigv

Cozy


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Starting to get pretty depressed. :/ I'd like to just sleep everything away.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

NerdlySquared said:


> I'm really glad things are working out for you  I hope hey continue to and all your plans pan out even better then you expect  :yay


thanks a lot.  i'm just glad so far that i'm doing something useful, and it's given me something to work on, it's varied and interesting this audio transcriber stuff, and of course get paid some too! ....... everyday just now, 7 days a week i work some. . i'm getting faster and getting through the files more , but I really, really should learn to touch type... then i could fly through? but i'm lazy and it's hard to learn touch typing when i can get like 40 wpm with using 4 or 5 fingers and a thumb 

i know my typing in this forum leaves a lot to be desired, but, i have to be soooo strict with EVERYTHING in that work that when i come here.....i allow my self laziness again ! here, i type how i think. LOL

and i have the support to make someone proud too.

I hope you're doing well too !


----------



## naptime

Sad, bored, lonely, emotional and a few other things.


----------



## NerdlySquared

KILOBRAVO said:


> thanks a lot.  i'm just glad so far that i'm doing something useful, and it's given me something to work on, it's varied and interesting this audio transcriber stuff, and of course get paid some too! ....... everyday just now, 7 days a week i work some. . i'm getting faster and getting through the files more , but I really, really should learn to touch type... then i could fly through? but i'm lazy and it's hard to learn touch typing when i can get like 40 wpm with using 4 or 5 fingers and a thumb
> 
> i know my typing in this forum leaves a lot to be desired, but, i have to be soooo strict with EVERYTHING in that work that when i come here.....i allow my self laziness again ! here, i type how i think. LOL
> 
> and i have the support to make someone proud too.
> 
> I hope you're doing well too !


I am doing well thank you  It is fantastic you are doing so great and improving everyday  It's so important to have something to feel like you are working towards with achievements on the way  Its great it's turning into a source of revenue as well :yay I'm sure you will find your typing groove the more you do it and in whatever way you find most effective  It's wonderful you have somone who you feel accepts you and your endeavours and supports you throughout it all, that is like finding gold! I wish you all the luck and all the success possible  :yay


----------



## NerdlySquared

don said:


> It is amazing how quickly we can learn to adapt, that's true. I find with culture shock that just putting yourself in a fairly unpleasant situation really does make you adapt quickly.
> 
> I was in Manila a long time ago and at first I was terrified. I went down to a beautiful island called Boracay where at that time they had no electricity or hot water and proceeded to run out of money. I had to travel back to the capital on a terrible old ship - sleeping in a bunk with all the locals and their chickens. By the time I got back I wasn't even fazed when there was a fire in my hotel or I heard gunshots outside. I was just annoyed that they were interrupting my lunch.


Wow people write whole books about experiences like that! You sound like an adaptable and tough person already Don  I think you will be thriving where you are now in no time at all


----------



## harrison

NerdlySquared said:


> *Wow people write whole books about experiences like that! *You sound like an adaptable and tough person already Don  I think you will be thriving where you are now in no time at all




People often tell me I should try and write a book - usually after I've told them about something I've done when I was manic.  I don't think I'm a very good writer though.

I'm really not a tough person at all - I guess I might be more adaptable than I think though. I've been lucky to have had a lot of life experiences. I think we need to push ourselves to do things - otherwise we just sit around and rot.  Well, I do anyhow.


----------



## harrison

I'm feeling a lot more relaxed this morning. Couldn't see my girlfriend yesterday and I was looking forward to spending the day with her here, she wasn't feeling well. Will see her today though.

Yesterday once again I realised that I have to fight my tendency to jump to conclusions about what people are thinking about me or what they might be doing. I have misinterpreted a number of things with my girlfriend and her best friend just because I don't know that aspect of the culture here - it's so different to my own.

I need to give them a break - they really are very sweet and they both seem to care about me a lot. I'm a bit of a dickhead sometimes.


----------



## Kevin001

Kinda bad. I just ate some fast food and I so shouldn't have. Its a slip up, I can get back on track tomorrow.


----------



## lonerroom

unwanted


----------



## Crisigv

I'm trying to fight off the meh.


----------



## Don Aman

I'm frustrated. I had some unpleasant interactions with family members yesterday and I'm going through an uncertain transition at work. Furthermore, it seems like the things I enjoy are just very bad for me but I'm having a hard time avoiding them and I feel a lot of shame over them. These would all be difficult enough to deal with even if I didn't struggle with anxiety and depression so much.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Full blown depression has hit now. Could something go right FOR ONCE? Everything has been absolute **** for months now, and my mental health only seems to get worse as time goes on. It makes me want to lay down and sleep forever.


----------



## Crisigv

Crisigv said:


> I'm trying to fight off the meh.


The meh won


----------



## Cuban FL Cracker

Sad, down, calm, quiet, mellow, nostalgic.


----------



## CharmedOne

Sniffly, sore throaty, and ready to be done with this cold already.


----------



## catcharay

Kind of sh*t  It is a very nice day though so I won't complain much.


----------



## tea111red

:sigh


----------



## NerdlySquared

don said:


> People often tell me I should try and write a book - usually after I've told them about something I've done when I was manic.  I don't think I'm a very good writer though.
> 
> I'm really not a tough person at all - I guess I might be more adaptable than I think though. I've been lucky to have had a lot of life experiences. I think we need to push ourselves to do things - otherwise we just sit around and rot.  Well, I do anyhow.


Haha I would read that book! :yes

I think adaptability is part of being "tough". I always saw it more as an adaptable resilience, bravery and mental fortitude rather than the image of some kind of huge bearded leather clad biker lol. It honestly sounds like you have it to do the travels/experiences that you do  Don't cut yourself short. I agree, never rot, keep pushing Don!


----------



## NerdlySquared

tea111red said:


> :sigh


:squeeze


----------



## NerdlySquared

CharmedOne said:


> Sniffly, sore throaty, and ready to be done with this cold already.


I hope you can feel better soon :squeeze

lol at the gif


----------



## CharmedOne

NerdlySquared said:


> I hope you can feel better soon :squeeze
> 
> lol at the gif


Thank you. And yeah, I did, too. :smile2:


----------



## Mannay

I am slightly annoyed. So I am a bit wise for my age and i hate ignorance. These two classmates made two ignorant statements. one suggested that strength only is present in physical features, in a sense she expressed this. Another made an accusation that I was offended because i defend logical things. That somehow because I am expressing to my other classmate that strength exist in more than just physical aspects, that I am offended.

Honestly, i get so fed up with ignorance. Reminds me of those racist southerners who willfully stayed ignorant, or individuals like Donald Trump who willingly make ignorant statements. 

I'll get over it, but sometimes i wish people would stay silent if their going to make an ignorant statement. You feel me?
Think about your favorite person. What if someone said something ignorant about them. Are you offended because you express a truth about that person and defend them? Of course not, you might be offended, however you expressing truths and false things relative about them is not relative to you being offended.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Got puffy eyes from crying into the wee hours of the morning. Right now I want nothing more than to just sleep, so I don't have to deal with how I feel. Maybe when I wake up, I'll get some good news.


----------



## pied vert

My head, throat, lungs, stomach, intestines, thighs, even my ****in rib cage are going TO EXPLODE from this, but why won't the tears ****ing come?


----------



## pied vert

I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him fsdhijtg2;48iewhdo;vwgn


----------



## Crisigv

lonely


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Ugh, I feel so miserable. I haven't done any of the readings for my class tonight. I don't even want to go to class. I'm so tempted to skip, but I already did that at the beginning of the month. Why do all my deep depressions seem to fall on Sundays?

I want to sleep... Sleep until tomorrow morning, when I have to get up for an interview.


----------



## Maverick34

Running on 2 hours sleep. Got energy but that's not gonna last long. Just ran after the mailman to give him an envelope to ship. Heard his mail cart rolling down the sidewalk haha


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired/restless


----------



## Kevin001

My stomach is killing me. I don't know if its from the change in diet or what.


----------



## Rafael96

feeling anxious and depressed for 2 weeks now.. A thought came to.my mind right now.. I thought if depression and anxiety attacks was bitc*es i will slap thatt bitc*es ouuttt..


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Confused, sad, and lonely.


----------



## DespairSenpai

sober


----------



## Xenagos

Lethargic. I just want to dissipate away.


----------



## naptime

I'm not sure.


----------



## uziq

I feel pretty soulless.


----------



## Zatch

Phlegmatic.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

pretty good tbh.  better stay away from this website until it's gone haha.


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity




----------



## Prince Adrian




----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Rejected. :'(


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious


----------



## Dall545

Nervous about tomorrow’s class, where I embarrassed myself last time.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

hesitation marks said:


>


 ohh waaw i loved that show a few years ago.

every time i went out some of the theme tunes used to play in my head.... lol.. i half wishes i had lived the bewildering but eventful world of LD lol...

i remember the time he got caught using the disabled toilets.... then when he caught the disabled guy using the "able bodied" toilet.... then i knew what to do / say if i ever had to use a disabled toilet because the "able bodied" toilet was engaged


----------



## uziq

Numb (prolly from meds) and indolent. Nothing is really happening in my life right now.


----------



## Kevin001

Stomach is still giving me trouble. I have no idea why. No diary products. Idk, maybe my body is transitioning :stu.


----------



## unemployment simulator

****.

and I think I have an injury coming on.


----------



## herk

conflicted


----------



## Kevin001

A little tired but good overall.


----------



## Crisigv

feeling down again, good feelings aren't meant to last


----------



## Maverick34

BEYOND HAPPY :grin2:


----------



## naptime

I'm so unmotivated.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cursed.


----------



## truant

I have a cold, and a migraine that's lasted over 24 hours. And I have insomnia, so I can't sleep, so I'm exhausted. I feel like refried sh!t.


----------



## SplendidBob

My stomach finally hasn't hurt today (been having pain for the last 3 weeks) but because coffee has been irritating it (presumed ulcer) and I had nothing today and a mere 50mg pill yesterday I am completely apathetic and unmotivated. Only a very minor headache though so withdrawal hasn't been to bad so far.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Lots of stomach problems in this thread today...


My own has been cramping and aching off and on all day. Add that to my already disappointed/abandoned state and I feel pretty miserable. The only plus is that my concentration is coming back. Hopefully it stays, because I can't afford to blow off anymore of my responsibilities.


----------



## Ghostly Presence

Physically painful boredom and extreme emptiness.


----------



## Maverick34

Pretty good (nice to feel an upside after the recent downs)


----------



## SunFlower2011

Tired and sleepy. Frustrated and ill. Hate work.


----------



## uziq

death


----------



## TryingMara

Tired, but can't sleep.


----------



## unemployment simulator

bit better, I have some glimmer of hope again. felt like I had really hit rock bottom this week..


----------



## LostinReverie

Sad, lonely, cold


----------



## funnynihilist

Not great. Feels like I'm in some kind of transition phase that is kind of painful. Things seem strange.


----------



## NerdlySquared

TryingMara said:


> Tired, but can't sleep.


I hope you got a bit of sleep eventually Mara


----------



## Crisigv

not so great


----------



## uziq

disassociated


----------



## zonebox

Tomorrow is Friday, the last workday of my week. I'm pretty happy about that.


----------



## TryingMara

pathetic


----------



## Crisigv

Better


----------



## naptime

Not too bad!


----------



## elitebutterfly

Confused, I feel like I love and hate someone at the same time.


----------



## thomasjune

I feel good. I'm leaving early today and then I'm off for the weekend.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Kevin001

Scared/anxious. I have to go driving soon.


----------



## LemonBones

I'm tired of this mental holding pattern. Like I'm mentally paralysed day after day.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty good. i'll have to motivate myself to exercise later tho. yesterday i didn't do any, well i walked but that was 4 miles.


----------



## Zatch

Restrained. Had to be a klutz and injure myself, now I don't have as much freedom to practice. Range of motion is too damn small, one wrong move seems to reset the bruising.

But hey, gummy worms.


----------



## gthopia94

Aggy.


----------



## Nicole G

Doing better today, the last four days sucked.


----------



## smeeble

Bitter >:|


----------



## Crisigv

Sad once again, what else is new.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm really tired at the moment.


----------



## Crisigv

like a worthless piece of ****


----------



## rdrr

my arms are sore from too many bicep curls


----------



## NerdlySquared

TryingMara said:


> pathetic


Nope you are not! But :squeeze for feeling like that :rain


----------



## pied vert

I feel actually, actually lovesick. Like, physically f***ing sick. My head feels lazy and sad. How on earth does a head get to feeling sad?


----------



## herk

better


----------



## tea111red

ick. sleep cycle is all messed up, too. ugh.


----------



## ND 123

tea111red said:


> ick. sleep cycle is all messed up, too. ugh.


 :hug


----------



## tea111red

ND 123 said:


> :hug


Thanks


----------



## harleysmonster

Feeling weird - not like myself (I mean I'm weird but I never felt this weird thing but I confess I'm having trouble with emotions since last year), I'm feeling this disturbing thing inside of me and I really don't know how to deal with it because nothing upsetting happened. I realized that I'm not into music anymore and music has always been my life, I don't have the will to watch other tv series that like I used to (I only watch SPN now). It's all strange now :-(


----------



## naptime

Feeling awesome! I bought a new mountain bike :grin2:


----------



## Crisigv

Been feeling like garbage all day.


----------



## Mur

Like I could use a nap.


----------



## Wanderlust89

Hopeful. Still too soon to say but things have been going really well at my new home so far.


----------



## zonebox

As usually, pretty good.


----------



## NightSkies105

Gloomy. My older sister is in the hospital after having an unexpected panic attack a couple days ago. She might be moved to a mental institution if things don't improve at this time. We're not really all that close but I still can't help but worry about her...


----------



## naptime

All of a sudden I feel like a failure.


----------



## Kevin001

Irritated. My family is so distant. We live underneath the same roof but we're so isolated. Its like we're each renting out a room or something. Idk, there nothing here that says "family".


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

I feel like I'm going to be spending the rest of my life thinking about what could've been. Pretty sure even the novel I'm writing is a result of that thinking.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

semi-motivated. kinda feel like dancing lol. i could probably use my energy(?) to do productive things but... naah. *dances around house*


----------



## Crisigv

like i'm not worth anyone's time


----------



## TheOLDPrince

relieved


----------



## Pips

Happy yet disappointed. 

Jogged through a very light shower and my worries were temporarily washed away before coming back. 
I haven't been able to make much progress in weight loss either..


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

I'm scared by how calm I am, as my world crumbles. I've never felt a deeper misery or hopelessness, and it's making me smile.


----------



## NerdlySquared

TheUrbanDepressive said:


> I feel like I'm going to be spending the rest of my life thinking about what could've been. Pretty sure even the novel I'm writing is a result of that thinking.


It sounds like a good source of creativity for that novel if your mind won't stop going there on its own either way  It's just sucks you have to feel sad for that kind of inspiration  :squeeze


----------



## NerdlySquared

the cheat said:


> I'm scared by how calm I am, as my world crumbles. I've never felt a deeper misery or hopelessness, and it's making me smile.


That sounds pretty bad  like some type of shock state. I hope you can feel better soon and things can get better for you man


----------



## NerdlySquared

Kevin001 said:


> Irritated. My family is so distant. We live underneath the same roof but we're so isolated. Its like we're each renting out a room or something. Idk, there nothing here that says "family".


Do you think it's the specific mix of personalities that makes that happen? Or is it just a general unwillingness to communicate? Either way it sounds very lonley  I'm very sorry Kevin :rain I hope things change. :squeeze


----------



## NerdlySquared

harleysmonster said:


> Feeling weird - not like myself (I mean I'm weird but I never felt this weird thing but I confess I'm having trouble with emotions since last year), I'm feeling this disturbing thing inside of me and I really don't know how to deal with it because nothing upsetting happened. I realized that I'm not into music anymore and music has always been my life, I don't have the will to watch other tv series that like I used to (I only watch SPN now). It's all strange now :-(


Have you read up a bit about the signs of depression? I'm not sure what kind of services are available where you are, but if it all feels like it's been getting worse over time you might consider talking to your doctor or other professional about it. Even just for a bit of information or a referral. I hope you can feel better 

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/depression-signs-and-symptoms.htm


----------



## NerdlySquared

Wanderlust89 said:


> Hopeful. Still too soon to say but things have been going really well at my new home so far.


That's great news  Congrats on the new place


----------



## Kevin001

NerdlySquared said:


> Do you think it's the specific mix of personalities that makes that happen? Or is it just a general unwillingness to communicate? Either way it sounds very lonley  I'm very sorry Kevin :rain I hope things change. :squeeze


Idk, its just a lack of emotion I guess. There isn't any compassion here.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

NerdlySquared said:


> TheUrbanDepressive said:
> 
> 
> 
> I feel like I'm going to be spending the rest of my life thinking about what could've been. Pretty sure even the novel I'm writing is a result of that thinking.
> 
> 
> 
> It sounds like a good source of creativity for that novel if your mind won't stop going there on its own either way
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> It's just sucks you have to feel sad for that kind of inspiration
Click to expand...

Well, they do say a creative person's best work often comes out when they are afflicted with negativity (or on drugs).


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pretty crappy. I've had a headache since yesterday. And the usual ... sad, lonely, restless, meh.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

SamanthaStrange said:


> Pretty crappy. I've had a headache since yesterday. And the usual ... sad, lonely, restless, meh.


I always find it so scary when that happens. I assume headaches will go away after sleeping, when I wakeup with the same headache I had the night before I'm assuming tumor and starting to write my obituary.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Wings of Amnesty said:


> I always find it so scary when that happens. I assume headaches will go away after sleeping, when I wakeup with the same headache I had the night before I'm assuming tumor and starting to write my obituary.


I've been getting migraines since I was 13, so I guess I'm past the stage of thinking it's anything too serious. One of these days it might be something more serious, and I won't take it seriously enough. It does suck to deal with headaches that last for days though.


----------



## LostinReverie

I'm so sick of the judgmental comments. I mean, seriously, who are you to judge? Just a stupid coping mechanism for people to feel better about themselves. I'm sick of people, especially those in my country, who think there is a pecking order and treat people as such. 

****ing *******s


----------



## NerdlySquared

Kevin001 said:


> Idk, its just a lack of emotion I guess. There isn't any compassion here.


I'm sorry you guys aren't close  I hope that can change but I know that's a lot to expect  :squeeze


----------



## NerdlySquared

TheUrbanDepressive said:


> Well, they do say a creative person's best work often comes out when they are afflicted with negativity (or on drugs).


I have heard that too, if that kind of thing interests you, look into Tolkien and how he channeled his wartime PTSD into his writing, it's actually pretty fascinating.

I hope you won't have to deal with as much negative experiences in the future :squeeze but if you can actively channel some of it into your work, it would certainly be good to have pain like that do some good.

Wishing you the best :squeeze


----------



## Dark Jewel

Terrible.


----------



## Vegadad

Stuck.


----------



## Kevin001

I was feeling pretty good now I feel awful. Mood shifts....ugh.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Kevin001 said:


> I was feeling pretty good now I feel awful. Mood shifts....ugh.


Oahhh  You're a good guy Kevin, try to think about how it felt to feel good, try to keep your mind on it and the reasons why you felt that way, it might help to flip you back


----------



## Crisigv

My body and brain hurt so much.


----------



## Kevin001

NerdlySquared said:


> Oahhh  You're a good guy Kevin, try to think about how it felt to feel good, try to keep your mind on it and the reasons why you felt that way, it might help to flip you back


I just messed up on my diet and it had me frustrated/depressed. I'm a little better now. Thanks .


----------



## tea111red

Bored and depressed.


----------



## gthopia94

Agitated as usual :bash.


----------



## NerdlySquared

NerdlySquared said:


> Oahhh  You're a good guy Kevin, try to think about how it felt to feel good, try to keep your mind on it and the reasons why you felt that way, it might help to flip you back





Kevin001 said:


> I just messed up on my diet and it had me frustrated/depressed. I'm a little better now. Thanks .


I'm glad to hear that


----------



## NerdlySquared

tea111red said:


> Bored and depressed.


I hope you can find something to keep your mind occupied today Tea 

:squeeze


----------



## tea111red

NerdlySquared said:


> I hope you can find something to keep your mind occupied today Tea
> 
> :squeeze


Heh, thanks. Not a lot really keeps me entertained for long anymore. I probably just need to get another job or something. I hate all this free time I have and being at home.


----------



## NerdlySquared

tea111red said:


> Heh, thanks. Not a lot really keeps me entertained for long anymore. I probably just need to get another job or something. I hate all this free time I have and being at home.


Yes all the time to think and ruminate can be really tough during depression :/ Entertainment can be easy to get bored with when your mind won't let you get into it anymore. Best distraction is probably something really mentally engaging, a job is an option but any project with lots of steps and a need to concentrate might fill a bit of that hole, also a chance to improve or learn something with an accomplishment feeling at the end  I hope you can find something Tea, I know how tough things are feeling like that. :squeeze :squeeze :squeeze I really do hope things improve :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

NerdlySquared said:


> Yes all the time to think and ruminate can be really tough during depression :/ Entertainment can be easy to get bored with when your mind won't let you get into it anymore. Best distraction is probably something really mentally engaging, a job is an option but any project with lots of steps and a need to concentrate might fill a bit of that hole, also a chance to improve or learn something with an accomplishment feeling at the end  I hope you can find something Tea, I know how tough things are feeling like that. :squeeze :squeeze :squeeze I really do hope things improve :squeeze


Thanks for the support.


----------



## NerdlySquared

Within Thrall said:


> I feel so useless or worthless or both.


I hope you can find a way out of that feeling and find your worth. I felt that feeling before, I know how brutal and heavy it is. I wish you and no one else had to feel it ever  I hope things get better.


----------



## NerdlySquared

tea111red said:


> Thanks for the support.


:squeeze


----------



## MCHB

Better than Friday, I can say that much. Saturday I met up with one of the guys from my class for coffee before heading east about an hour to meet up with another guy and spent the night out there. It's funny...you can distract yourself, but it doesn't take long before certain memories and thoughts set in. To late for if's or should have's. Apparently in light of everything that's gone down in the past few days, they're doing a "Crisis Management" thing at the college tomorrow. If nothing else, I should probably make a cameo. Last I heard, the survivor went from critical to serious, so hopefully that's a good sign. Be nice to get some confirmation on that...He'd better recover...


----------



## Lonelyguy111

*Feeling List*

I am feeling:

tired
a little at peace - sort of
overwhelmed
frustrated
lonely
remorseful
sad
worthless
unfocused
crappy
useless
ugly
morbid
listless
bored
scared
confused
............... and more.

*Feeling Summary: Feeling lousy but not super bad. Not to the point of walking out in front of a moving truck.
*


----------



## Prince Adrian

Damn it I'm panicking & agitated right now, I need to know the solution right away, might as well today!!!! ..but I'm also grateful for the free rice from the land lady today (that's actually available everyday) she gives freely to all flatmates!! Thank god!








​


----------



## Depo

I feel good. I'm sorting out a way to feel good without the need of being with people. I noticed that not thinking about them and focusing on other things helps a lot.


----------



## Prince Adrian

And free gas (for cooking), free wifi, free drinking water, wide enough motorcycle parking space! 'Free' means all included in the relatively cheap (if not the cheapest in town!) rent!


----------



## Crisigv

sad


----------



## lonerroom

I feel astrolombigerlicherriollestriousious, I can't wait until the 79th of August


----------



## herk

kind of okay, frustrated with lack of progress though


----------



## coeur_brise

Bad enough to where I want to turn my only slightly trim figure into adult obesity. #abusingmybody #noonewantsitanyway


----------



## Maverick34

Decent. I feel I did the right thing by not exercising a loophole in my disability form


----------



## umakemebarf

cruddy and lonely!


----------



## Nunuc

Martial ability: -1
Health: -2
Fertility: -10%


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Proud. I finished another chapter, a whopping 10 pages in a journal. I want to transfer it to my computer now.


----------



## Pips

Happy yet a little disappointed.

I have been keeping a committed schedule of exercising 20-40 minutes with 20 minutes of walking minimum per day, six days a week for the past month and a half. I also sometimes replace jogging/running with P90 workouts for about 2-3 of those days a week.

Disappointed that the pain in my knees from jogging/running still has not subsided and my diet is still poor. I only lost 5 pounds so far and it seems like I've been stuck at a certain point for the past two weeks.


----------



## Wanderlust89

NerdlySquared said:


> That's great news  Congrats on the new place


Thanks!


----------



## Naru

I feel pretty good, I hope you all are too


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

I don't know how I've been able to wake up early the last two days. I know I can go for another day. This is how I can be productive. I just wish I didn't feel like taking a nap.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Bored and feel like I need to get out of the house.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Diminished capacity


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel pretty good. happy-ish. gotta keep on movin' tho.


----------



## naptime

I'm feeling good!


----------



## tea111red

Sick of forcing myself to do stuff I don't want to do. uke


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Restless and moody.


----------



## zonebox

Three more days of work.. three more days...


----------



## Crisigv

My mood is alright at the moment. My wrist is a little sore today, and I have a small headache. I'm also hungry because I forgot to eat lunch.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i do not like myself haha

throw me in the trash thx


----------



## Kevin001

A little bad. My mom told me something and I told my sister thinking it wasn't a big deal. Now my mom is mad at me. That is why its best just to be quiet.


----------



## herk

lost


----------



## Perkins

Ugly. I'm fug.


----------



## regimes

still in withdrawal so ick, BUT
fantastic because yesterday i went and voted for bernie,
got a new graphics tablet with which to draw,
and finally got enough money to get all three of my kitties spayed.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Tired, but at least I no longer feel sickly like I did yesterday. I should get up and go get some food.


----------



## LostinReverie

Painful


----------



## Depo

High, I'm glad I only have 5 10mg ritalin pills left. I hate them! but I love them lol. I tried to get more but I couldn't because no one has any (which I'm glad, because they're expensive.) They are a waste of time and money, but they're awfully addictive (but not to the point I'd desperately go out and spend hours looking for a place where I could get them.) I'll just use the ones I got left and leave it at that.


----------



## zonebox

Two more days of work.. two more days...


----------



## Barakiel

Frustrated with myself because I mostly just sit around and wait for things to happen.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Like I inhaled a bunch of sawdust.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I feel terrible. That familiar feeling of warm misery is eminating from my chest outward. As is typical when I feel this way I'm incapable of focussing on anything productive. As much as I'd like to cry; release the stress that has been building over the past month, I know the only way I'm going to overcome the pervasive emptiness that prevents me from doing so is by having a mental breakdown of sorts in front of people at school. Though who knows, that might happen in biology class today. After all, we are doing a practical assignment today. Yet another assessed practical assignment during which I will be the only one with absolutely nobody to work with, and a teacher harrassing me about facing my fears and making futile attempts to reassure me that I am indeed welcome in other groups. Yeah ****ing right darling. Anyways, I'll just be over here crying and thinking about hurting myself, possibly scratching myself with slightly sharp things. I won't bother anyone that way.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm good. Had tons of energy today. I hope my night goes well but I'm known for shifting moods especially at night.


----------



## naptime

Not so good. I hurt my calf.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

like i should die bUT w/e yo lol


----------



## Barakiel

ShatteredGlass said:


> like i should die bUT w/e yo lol


But then we would miss you


----------



## naptime

Very worried!


----------



## naptime

naptime said:


> Very worried!


I'm now feeling relaxed


----------



## SamanthaStrange

SamanthaStrange said:


> Like it's time for me to start actively detaching from people.


I really should have followed through with this plan.


----------



## LostinReverie

cold and hungry


----------



## TryingMara

Alone.


----------



## NerdlySquared

TryingMara said:


> Alone.


:squeeze


----------



## Maverick34

Motivated enough to snap a lot of pics of my BMX & make a box to ship/sell it. Hope that feeling lasts all day & into the night. I'm gonna need it


----------



## Crisigv

My legs are killing me, it hurts to walk and bend down. But this is a good thing.


----------



## uziq

sick, depressed, unmotivated etc.


----------



## PhilipJFry

Exhausted. I could use a long vacation.


----------



## SofaKing

Since accounts can't be deleted and I really can't seem to stay away voluntarily, that I feel a possible banpage coming on.


----------



## zonebox

one more day of work... one more day...


----------



## Kevin001

My stomach has been acting up all day, I have no idea why. I'm tired of dealing with stomach issues. I've cut back on diary, plus my doctor claims I don't have IBS. But I think I do, idk.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Really tired now...


----------



## LostinReverie

NerdlySquared said:


> :squeeze


Seriously, where do you find these pics?


----------



## Cascades

Irritated and upset oh...and of course anxious as hell!


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Hateful. Rightly so, though.


----------



## SofaKing

Descending into bitterness.


----------



## NerdlySquared

The Sound of Silence said:


> Seriously, where do you find these pics?


Mostly on the googles  Animal pics are actually really plentiful for all occasions


----------



## KILOBRAVO

Crisigv said:


> My legs are killing me, it hurts to walk and bend down. But this is a good thing.


what happened to you legs?

I feel relaxed and OK.


----------



## nepnep247




----------



## zonebox

My last work day of the week was today!! I'm pretty happy


----------



## zonebox

nepnep247 said:


>


nep nep nep


----------



## Crisigv

KILOBRAVO said:


> what happened to you legs?
> 
> I feel relaxed and OK.


I just did a little workout, so they are sore. I never really work out, other than the physical part of my job, so I wasn't used to it.


----------



## ZombieIcecream

My arms and legs feel like noodles from yesterday's workout and because of my hormones I'm too tired to workout later tonight. I'm dissapointed in myself but I suppose it cannot be helped.

I can't attend a specific social event tomorrow. I've missed out on 5 things so far since moving here and on top of this, I couldn't go ice skating this past winter. :/ I have crap luck.


I need a hug.


----------



## Kevin001

ZombieIcecream said:


> I need a hug.


:hug

I'm doing pretty good at the moment. I had some bad anxiety earlier but I'm great now.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling a little meh, and bored.


----------



## uziq

i'm inebriated right now. doin alright. *smiley with aviators*


----------



## Kevin001

I'm ok. Still no calls from jobs but I'm still staying positive. I'm supposed to go shopping with my mom today. This will be big time exposure for me.


----------



## Yer Blues

Considering I'm not vomiting anymore, good.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Resentful. Get me away from these damn institutions filled with adult infants and propaganda, that steal time away from what I really want to do.


----------



## nepnep247

zonebox said:


> nep nep nep


nep


----------



## KILOBRAVO

Crisigv said:


> I just did a little workout, so they are sore. I never really work out, other than the physical part of my job, so I wasn't used to it.


what exercises did you do, and how much reps.?

tonight i will probably do calf raises. say, 4 sets of 150 raises. .

i am thinking of going back to standing lunges and then squats later. I used to do 100's of those too, my legs are too thin.. i think


----------



## slyfox

Like a failure and tired


----------



## Crisigv

unamused


----------



## harrison

Much better now I'm back in Australia again, although I have this annoying head cold I caught from the girl next to me on the plane. Taking my medication again and feel a lot more settled.


----------



## SplendidBob

Suspiciously relaxed


----------



## TryingMara

Sleepy, but overall in a good mood.



NerdlySquared said:


> :squeeze


Love this, thank you


----------



## GhostlyWolf

Sad and angry :/


----------



## Depo

Bored.... one of those moments I'd like to talk to someone about interesting things, then I remind myself that I've got no one to talk to. :sigh


----------



## uziq

so alone, so sad


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I have the next two days off. Tomorrow I have to clean the house, but other than that I have the day free.


----------



## NerdlySquared

TryingMara said:


> Sleepy, but overall in a good mood.
> 
> Love this, thank you


:squeeze I'm so incredibly glad you are feeling better Mara :yay


----------



## Crisigv

Tired. I want to go back to bed. I feel like I could sleep for another 12 hours.


----------



## Zatch

Cooped up. Want to skate but it's hot as ****, and the closest spot to skate would have me out of breath by the time I arrived, not to mention sweating up a storm. For medical reasons I have to refrain.

Thankfully I have reading material and music.


----------



## odetoanoddity

Could be better, but also could be a lot worse. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## Lonelyguy111

Right now as usual.

Scared
Lonely
Remorseful
Worthless
Frustrated
Bored

Smilies will say it:
:mum:crying::afr:yawn:rain:sighpar:fall


----------



## Lonelyguy111

tea111red said:


> Sick of forcing myself to do stuff I don't want to do. uke


Know the feeling.
Ditto.

I wish I did not have to force myself just to do normal, mundane things like getting out and shopping, cleaning, going to social events, study. It is like there is a 1000 pound weight on me preventing me from doing anything. Even things I usually like to do. <SIGH>


----------



## KILOBRAVO

I feel fine.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Awful, in every way.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i feel as if i'm not receiving the attention i utterly deserve -_-


----------



## uziq

uziq said:


> so alone, so sad


still this


----------



## naptime

unmotivated as usual.


----------



## steph22

very blue today, which is unfortunate considering what a lovely sunny day it's been. and i'm afraid of ruining anyone's elses day by talking about things. :crying:


----------



## andretti

Pretty darn good. At the beginning of the year till about 3 weeks ago I felt like absolute crap. Didn't know why but I was sick. I felt weak and had no energy. Was itchy all the time and my back hurt so much. I was in bed nearly all day . 
I really felt like I was going to die. I still have issues with my health but I've been feeling great compared to the beginning of the year.


----------



## LostinReverie

Pain in my head, trying to fight bacteria... not winning...


----------



## thomasjune

Not good at all. Overwhelming anxiety at work again. fml
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Crisigv

A little blah, but alright for the most part. I'm a little annoyed that I have a pathetic three-hour shift tonight at 6:30, after being at home the whole day.


----------



## odetoanoddity

so so


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## TenYears

Meh. Not so good now. I just realized this month is sort of flying by. I can't believe it's about half over with. And that means April is right around the corner. And that's....just not a good month for me. Some people seem to have bad days, I have a bad month...4/23/12 is the anniversary of my gf suicide, and I have huge, huge anxiety about that day, long before it comes every year. I guess my mind managed to trick me into believing it was still a ways off. Well, until today. Man I hate this whole time of year now. I never know exactly what to do to get through it. It used to be just that day, and now it's grown to...that week before and the week after.


I mean, I know what I'm gonna do that day. It's just. How to get through it all.


And.


Now I'm depressed as ***. Now I won't be able to stop thinking about it. Obsessively.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Grey as the day outside


----------



## whereistheoffswitch

Cruddy and anxious so sort of normal I guess


----------



## MCHB

Impatient!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad and lonely, as usual.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

turns out i actually don't have a biology test today as i thought i did. that's great because i'm running on less than 7 hours of sleep and as a result, i'm tired as heck. fingers crossed that school doesn't pull a crappy plot twist and reveal that there indeed IS a test today, since while i have a bit over an hour of free periods, i really don't have the energy to study, lol.


----------



## 561489

*Sad, Lonely, and Friendless  *


----------



## GuyPerson

*Anyone want to talk?*

I just want to talk to someone.
I preferably use omegle because my skype is stupid.
Just use the tag socialanxietysupport and maybe we could talk.
I'm trying to get better


----------



## tea111red

I'm tired and feel very worn down..... my motivation is very poor, too.

I'm sick of reading these stupid posts from people criticizing people for not making progress up to their standards, too. Ugh. **** off. It's very hard to push yourself to do things to better your life consistently when you are worn down and feel like you are going to collapse.


----------



## zonebox

I have to go back to work tomorrow, so I'm a bit bummed out by that. Otherwise, I am feeling pretty good. I'm sitting outside by my little shed, watching the sun set and the clouds roll by me, there is a fairly strong breeze that is refreshing. 

I really wish I did not have to go back to work tomorrow though, I would love to just set up a tent back here, and enjoy the rest of the day and night being outside, looking at the stars, watching a few movies on this laptop and just relaxing. Perhaps next weekend, although by then who knows?

Life is decent.


----------



## Kevin001

Pretty good. My day went well. Lets hope I finish off the day strong.


----------



## Barakiel

Nostalgic for a time when I had a few decent online friends, who I let some other borderline sociopath ones drive away basically. I'm talking to some cool folks nowadays but it still sucks knowing I could have done better :\


----------



## ShatteredGlass

lol i'd like to lie on the ground feeling like garbage with napstablook (((


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Fine. Between happy and sad, easily embarrassed, and in need of cuddling. All these feelings are very mild.


----------



## SofaKing

like a meaningless relic...maybe always was one the whole time.


----------



## meepie

Im okay and chill, need to do lots of chores, tomorrow need to take concerta


----------



## wyatt48620

Fat. I feel fat. Is fat a feeling? Because if it Is - that's what I'm feeling.


----------



## Zatch

Evil.


----------



## HenDoggy

it only started and i already feel like it should be over


----------



## Kovu

Tired and getting back to being depressed again. Something happened yesterday and then I just layed in bed unable to sleep. Didn't go to school today.


----------



## Prince Adrian

_ALL MIXED UP!!_

This afternoon, suddenly I just felt like going downstairs to check if I could turn my motorbike on again after the failed attempt in the morning. Because as I heard loud laughter of the fresh college students nearby here on the 2nd floor, the downstairs could be empty of people.

But then I found not so. The land lady & some flatmates were there. I couldn't 'go back' & hide.. I'd just start the bike, hinting lightly to them that this might need fixing.. then a boy I haven't even introduced myself to instantly approached & helped me, the motorbike was on again!!

Just like my intuition said, nothing to worry about, even someone would help me one way or another. And I _know_ it's like nothing for them, no one asked for return favor of any kind. Yet afterwards my mind & heart were still racing, overwhelmed by conflicting thoughts of guilt, shame, complex anger, anxiety, feeling SMALL, ungrateful and other what-not! _Uugh!!!!_


----------



## kesker

Prince Adrian said:


> _ALL MIXED UP!!_
> 
> This afternoon, suddenly I just felt like going downstairs to check if I could turn my motorbike on again after the failed attempt in the morning. Because as I heard loud laughter of the fresh college students nearby here on the 2nd floor, the downstairs could be empty of people.
> 
> But then I found not so. The land lady & some flatmates were there. I couldn't 'go back' & hide.. I'd just start the bike, hinting lightly to them that this might need fixing.. then a boy I haven't even introduced myself to instantly approached & helped me, the motorbike was on again!!
> 
> Just like my intuition said, nothing to worry about, even someone would help me one way or another. And I _know_ it's like nothing for them, no one asked for return favor of any kind. Yet afterwards my mind & heart were still racing, overwhelmed by conflicting thoughts of guilt, shame, complex anger, anxiety, feeling SMALL, ungrateful and other what-not! _Uugh!!!!_


I feel that exact set of emotions after an encounter like that (or during most encounters :blank ). I take solace in the fact that I still must be approachable to a certain degree and that there are good samaritans still left in this world.  Continued motorbike success!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pretty hopeless, at the moment.


----------



## Prince Adrian

kesker said:


> I feel that exact set of emotions after an encounter like that (or during most encounters :blank ). I take solace in the fact that I still must be approachable to a certain degree and that there are good samaritans still left in this world.  Continued motorbike success!


Thank you! Yes, there's at least the bright side: that there exist unexpected kindness in reality, despite how crappy we feel inside mentally rehearsing the worst case scenarios!


----------



## naptime

I'm feeling ok.


----------



## Mur

Peachy


----------



## StephCurry

Kill me now please


----------



## Crisigv

Alright I guess. I've been keeping myself pretty distracted all day.


----------



## Prince Adrian

_MIXED UP AGAIN!_

This early morning I went on a _food raid_ as usual (don't ask :/), using the newly-'fixed' motorbike. But when I was done, as I prepared to leave it again wont turn on, like yesterday. I tried & tried.. no result, and I don't have much physical energy to use the alternative way to start this stuff. I don't want to ask around for help, so I intended to just wait for some minutes then start it again, or if still failed then I'd just put this into my old house and going back walking long distance (I do need some exercise anyway).

But then just 1-2 minutes later a neighbor who's just about leaving for work approached me and helped. Again I was saved by a kind stranger on time!! (Maybe this is small to anyone but for a highly sensitive like me this could mean everything!) And yet, despite the relieve there's still the usual storm of anxiety, guilt, shame, feeling small, multi-layered anger etc etc etc going on!! :bash

Okay, okay maybe this set of conflicts needs my attention now..


----------



## umakemebarf

Mixture of boredom and loneliness.


----------



## tea111red

ugly.


----------



## Crisigv

tea111red said:


> ugly.


me too


----------



## Maverick34

Crisigv said:


> me too


You're a babe :wink2:


----------



## ShatteredGlass

how i feel at the moment matches me: trash.


----------



## Invisiblehandicap

Prince Adrian said:


> _ALL MIXED UP!!_
> 
> This afternoon, suddenly I just felt like going downstairs to check if I could turn my motorbike on again after the failed attempt in the morning. Because as I heard loud laughter of the fresh college students nearby here on the 2nd floor, the downstairs could be empty of people.
> 
> But then I found not so. The land lady & some flatmates were there. I couldn't 'go back' & hide.. I'd just start the bike, hinting lightly to them that this might need fixing.. then a boy I haven't even introduced myself to instantly approached & helped me, the motorbike was on again!!
> 
> Just like my intuition said, nothing to worry about, even someone would help me one way or another. And I _know_ it's like nothing for them, no one asked for return favor of any kind. Yet afterwards my mind & heart were still racing, overwhelmed by conflicting thoughts of guilt, shame, complex anger, anxiety, feeling SMALL, ungrateful and other what-not! _Uugh!!!!_


Empaths help people because they like other people to be happier. When you watch a tv show do you like your favourite character to be happy? They dont want you to hate yourself or feel anxious.


----------



## diamond girl

I feel disappointed because I dropped something in a store and instead of turning it in, the one who found it kept it. If you find something, turn it in. What is wrong with some people. Where are the good guys?


----------



## Prince Adrian

Invisiblehandicap said:


> Empaths help people because they like other people to be happier. When you watch a tv show do you like your favourite character to be happy? They dont want you to hate yourself or feel anxious.


Interesting perspective, thanks. But sometimes it doesn't really matter what's happening outside, when inside is all stormy (originated from multiple factors: past experiences, interpretations, personality, etc). :? What I can do is to feel them fully, go towards the eye of the tornado, then it usually heals itself. Not perfectly, but significant enough for me.. 

Off topic, honestly if I watch a movie, I'd love to see my favorite character to face some problems (but NOT extreme!!), curious how s/he would SOLVE them in the end. I could use the inspiration of resourcefulness (yep, adventure movies!).


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty fine again i suppose.


----------



## odetoanoddity

Cold. I just had two glasses of cold water. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling a bit down. And also worried, financially.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Tired & sad.... This morning I barely woke up on time because I turned off both of my alarms and decided to make the dumb decision of 'resting my eyes', falling asleep within like 30 seconds. It was lucky I woke up only 8 minutes after I usually get my *** out of bed, but if I wasn't so lucky(?), I could still be asleep right not, at 9:30 am lol. Kinda wish I was in a way. It's not like I actually want to be here at school, suffering. :////


----------



## naptime

Annoyed. My landlords dog was trying to get at a raccoon all day. Multiple times I had to go out and shut the dog up. At one point the dog got the raccoon and I had to run out and pry the dog off of it. I don't know who's blood it was but it was all over the dog :O


----------



## Prince Adrian

I don't want to have a past.

Not because it's bad or very stabbingly bad like that of some others I would NEVER want happening on anyone.
It was *emotionally* stabbingly bad though.
But more important, the thing I just realized today after waking up from a dream-semi-nightmare, it was *A.W.K.W.A.R.D.* Full of it shrugged under the carpet.

I don't want to have a past.

And I don't want to have this current MUNDANE reality as my past either. Despite my highly sensitive side is very-very grateful for the peace, enough food, drinks & snacks, spacious room with kind strangers around. And it's dreadfully AFRAID that if I become ungrateful, all these will be taken from me as well and I'll have worse!

I don't want anything NOT magical, mysterious, fulfilling, adventurous, happy-ended filling my life journals.
I don't want those ugly schools & environment around as my past. Despite I did well score-wise and somewhat popular.
I don't want those settings full of ignorant people filling my notebooks.
I don't want to remember those uniforms, those meaningless interactions with no sense of mission.

I don't want to have a past.
I don't want living in this current place where nothing extraordinarily magical happens written in my diaries.

I DON'T WANT SOLID REALITY!

I want to create it better, more MEANINGFUL, more adventurous, more beautifully colorful, more of successful missions of MY CHOICE *from start to end*.

I don't want to have a past.









​


----------



## Prince Adrian

I really can't accept life the way it is!


----------



## Moxi

I've been sick for a week straight and the first thing I did when I was able to go get groceries was eat a Chipotle burrito for lunch and pizza for dinner.

Still coughing myself silly.


----------



## naptime

Nervous.


----------



## Barakiel

I had to stop taking adderall after only two days since all the side effects have left me zombifed :eyes

Just weird mood swings and stuff, like more weird than usual for me.


----------



## Kevin001

A little worried about tomorrow but overall I'm good. I've had a good day so far.


----------



## Wanderlust89

I'm feeling incomplete. :\


----------



## thomasjune

Pretty good. One more day and I'll be able to relax a bit.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## KILOBRAVO

relaxed an overall fine


----------



## Crisigv

I'm feeling good, proud of myself! A headache seems to be developing though.


----------



## rdrr

being sick when you live alone blows.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

My head hurts. Worried about my job/apartment situation. Wish this paper would write itself so I can be done with ALL of my coursework (for good).


----------



## herk

i see u


----------



## naptime

I feel great except I'm stiff from driving for a total of five hours.


----------



## SofaKing

gutted


----------



## Maverick34

Crisigv said:


> I'm feeling good, proud of myself! A headache seems to be developing though.


I'm proud of you too


----------



## Cyclonic

For the first time in a long time, I'm not sure what I feel anymore... It's like I'm in the dark, confused and alone, I'm not necessarily sad or happy but I frequently experience both for brief moments.


----------



## naptime

I'm bored.


----------



## shrimpius

*blah*

I feel like a bump on a log that is disintegrating at a very slow pace... I feel lost in life and hopeless just like i do every single day. And then feeling stupid for feeling that way...idk:frown2:


----------



## Maverick34

Pretty damn good... 100% I'd say. Got 8 hours sleep. Props to God & ear plugs


----------



## Don Aman

I'm feeling pretty incompetent right now. I had an important, last minute project come up at work late yesterday and a coworker had to intercede because I was a scrambling mess trying to deal with it. 

This morning my boss said my part had to be redone and again, I started scrambling around trying to do a better job. The same coworker actually redid my portion of the project without telling me after I sent it their way to make it presentable. I didn't know they had done so until after it was submitted and I took a second look.

My boss thanked both of us but I'm so embarrassed by how poorly I handled things. Fortunately this coworker is a nice person and didn't lash out at me or throw me under the bus.


----------



## TryingMara

sleepy


----------



## Lonelyguy111

Pretty good for once.
I swam 2 times today and right now I feel very calm and much better. I think a lot of SA is probably physical and I read one or 2 posts here from people who worked out a lot and they said they felt MUCH better. The hard part is doing it on a regular basis and not give in to the depression, apathy, and tiredness. :smile2:


----------



## Crisigv

kinda meh


----------



## Depo

Better, I'm nearsighted (can barely see) so I stopped wearing my contact lenses whenever I go out. Seeing people as shapeless blurry figures has decreased my anxiety a little bit. I only get anxious whenever I think I might take the wrong bus, but everything else is fine. :eyes


----------



## Prince Adrian

_@#$%^*{$; that complex jealousy again I don't want & hate to explain $%@!*#^"!!!!!
_


----------



## Prince Adrian

_oh my god.. omg omg I think I've *finally found what I've been doing "wrong"* all this time..!!!!
_


----------



## Prince Adrian

*it's all coming together..*


----------



## tea111red

Bored...


----------



## Ominous Indeed

Prince Adrian said:


> *it's all coming together..*


Did you find god or something?

Actually, I am hoping you discovered Aliens here.


----------



## Maverick34

Like a nap


----------



## herk

like burrowing into the earth and disappearing for a bit


----------



## zonebox

A little bored


----------



## Crisigv

bored and lonely


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Calm and fat. Need to cut back on food.


----------



## Euphoric

Insecure. Ugly. Uncomfortable in my own skin. Like my relationship would have less flaws if I were more attractive.
And like the world's biggest failure.


----------



## Prince Adrian

Raining outside! With lightnings! Woohooo..!!


----------



## ShatteredGlass

just as pathetic and empty as ever.


----------



## Depo

Neutral...


----------



## rdrr

tiredbutnotsleepyat5am


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Totally defeated by life.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I have today and tomorrow off. I have to clean the house still, but that shouldn't take too long and it is not all that bad to begin with. Later on, I'll have a few beers, play some games, then download the walking dead and watch that. We're having Macaroni and Cheese for dinner, so there is that. I'm looking forward to camping here in a few weeks, which is keeping me pretty happy.

I'm sitting here, in my air conditioned house, with a fan blowing on me, playing around on my laptop, connected to the Internet while my two dogs are napping around me. I'm in my home, away from people, there is a day full of possibilities, I know I am likely to just stay here today but having a choice in what I do makes it so much better. I appreciate it all, y'know? I've definitely have seen harder days, where there was no A/C, where there was no Internet, let alone a house or home, but even then I was not so miserable on a daily basis. I appreciate that as well, I am not a hateful person, I stay away from jealousy and anger, and find the beauty in what there is in life - I have that capacity for the such and am thankful for it. 

So, I'm doing good.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty good i suppose. However I wish the work would have a bit more to do at the weekend. Sometimes suddenly stuff crops up though unexpectedly.


----------



## odetoanoddity

I wish I could get more sleep. Even though I *do* get that recommended 7-8 hours, it never feels like enough. It's like sleep passes me entirely.

I also wish time would slow the f down.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MCHB

Irritable.


----------



## zonebox

MCHB said:


> Irritable.


I just looked at your fitness log, and it is amazing dude! You should create a blog here.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

A bit more hopeful. I got a call and email earlier from two different places about setting up interviews this week. I find it odd that I'm being contacted on a Sunday (since no employer has ever contacted me on a Sunday before), but it's a nice boost.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

People's shallowness disgusts me.


----------



## MCHB

zonebox said:


> I just looked at your fitness log, and it is amazing dude! You should create a blog here.


Thanks! Made my day! :grin2:

I guess in a way, the thread is a blog of sorts; the next update will have a video (which is uploading as I write this) of one of my favorite sections of the trail.


----------



## januarygirl

Was doing good for a while, but I'm back to feeling lonely, empty and tired.


----------



## Dunban

Tired. Always tired...


----------



## Cyclonic

I kind of feel normal again. I went through a week of happiness, sadness, anticipation, anxiety, worry, relief, and loneliness. I was emotionally exhausted to say the least, but it's like my brain hit the reset button today and last week feels like a dream.


----------



## Mur

Tired


----------



## LostinReverie

My head is killing me... I hope. Fingers crossed.


----------



## unemployment simulator

bored. I guess I should sleep?


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

I would feel a lot more excited right now because I have FINALLY had a job opportunity dropped into my lap, but my head keeps aching.

The job is contract (end date is indefinite at this point; I hope it lasts for at least a few months) doing data entry and transcription. Doesn't pay as much as I'd like, but at least it's full-time, and I plan on looking for permanent positions while I'm working the project. Hell, I have two interviews tomorrow, and if I get hired on the spot from any of them before the position starts on Wednesday, I'll take it.

I feel a bit of relief after dealing with so much anxiety and paranoia lately. Maybe that's where the headache came from.


----------



## Depo

Fine. I was feeling bad this morning (I drank too much yesterday), but tonight I feel good. I guess crying, writing about my feelings and releasing all my negative emotions helped me a lot, but I can only do it if I'm drunk. :eyes


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

artynerd said:


> This is just a place to vent, feel happy or feel sad or whatever your mood!
> 
> But if you are feeling glum, this is to anyone who needs a hug!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *hugs* =]
> 
> and if you are having a rough day, just know that someone out there cares about you.


^These are cute. 

I'm fine. Slight sadness reading some posts, but... Yes, trying to maintain my cheer.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm good. Trying to stay positive even though I have a lot of issues to deal with.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

meh. i feel fine. i'm at school, though i'm not studying.. you know, like the piece of **** that i am.  i'm just listening to death by glamour on repeat and catching up on the news related to the iphone se. in a certain light i kinda feel like a sheep haha.


----------



## Prince Adrian

a video bothered me.
based on my life experiences so far I do, wouldn't really blame anyone, because (& despite) the heavy turmoils recently I love who I am better now.
_BUT I CAN'T DO THE SAME WITH THAT OF OTHERS' LIVES!!!!
NOT A CHANCE!!!!
*I WONT LET ANY INNOCENCE GET HURT A SCRATCH!!!!!!!*
I WONT ALLOW A SINGLE PURE SOUL TORTURED A MICROSECOND!!!!!
_








_HOW COULD YOU BVSTVRD SAID THAT??!!?!?
YOU CLAIMED THIS & THAT BUT YOUR MISERY WAS NOT AS BAD AS THEM!!!!!
HOW DO YOU LIKE IT IF YOU WERE THEM??!?!?!_

**
side note: 
just so you know, despite my high empathy for others, I've got absolute ignorance & rebellion for certain others too.


----------



## MCHB

Stressed.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

im fine, but i have a lot of pending tasks on the system they havent approved yet, but have been "seen" wish they'd hurry up and approve all the work ive done from the last week lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, lonely, and tired.


----------



## Wanderlust89

So pissed off!!! When I saw that the dickhead manager rejected my request for paid time off yesterday, I wanted to ****ing quit right there. But my new home is going great right now so I don't want to lose it. Instead I called out the next night to hang with my friend because I was feeling too nauseous from anger to come into work. It's been like that most days now actually where I literally feel nauseous just going to work. My utter hatred towards the place has been manifesting into physical symptoms.

Maybe it's the push I need. One of my goals is to find a new job (or jobs) after I've settled into a new home. I've just been paralyzed by indecision over which jobs would help me pay my bills. I guess I just need to pick one and figure the rest out from there.


----------



## Mur

Relaxed


----------



## Don Aman

I'm really in the mood to do some posting around here but I need to get started with work. If today is like most of my recent work days I'll be too frustrated and drained to get into things around here the way I'd like to after I finish up. So in summary, I'm anxious about starting my day.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty good i suppose.


----------



## Yer Blues

Sinus headache.


Why no emoticon for sinus headache?


----------



## naptime

I feel pretty darn good!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mixed bag


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Goddamn you, Facebook... Why did you have to show me THAT? Now I feel bummed. Klonopin high is helping to make it not feel so bad, but still... I could've done without seeing that. 

Distract, distract, distract...


----------



## Onleigh

Emotionless right now. Kind of bored, but pushing stressful thoughts to the back of my mind.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

Headache


----------



## kageri

Really depressed and unmotivated. The good weather turned cold, wet, and cloudy. We did miss the snow but not by much because it's 34F today.


----------



## naptime

Frustrated. I keep getting injuries that stop me from running or cycling.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Meh. Same as ever.


----------



## SofaKing

I'm stressed...

I'm ready...

Anytime...


----------



## Prince Adrian

even though I still hate how this universe works..


----------



## Prince Adrian

and good thing I listened to my instincts to look up an information before leaving.. turned out today is not good at all.. thank goodness I knew this before hand or I'll be *incredibly* unlucky!


----------



## zonebox

I've had a decent day, I'm not looking forward to work tomorrow though.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i have a certain... desire.


----------



## Barakiel

like a lazy bum for procrastinating as usual.


----------



## Zozulya

Dizzy, and knowing I shouldn't spend too much time here, as it is a kind of distraction.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

somewhat surreal.


----------



## Prince Adrian

_twisted_.
re-reading some posts of a member here I used to be curious about. at first I felt some empathy for them but after I stumbled upon a darker material I turned around 180 degree: love to see them SUFFER, haha!
and now I feel like distracting myself a little, their posts are entertaining! >


----------



## lonerroom

Sleepy but I can't sleep because the mattress won't stop crying.


----------



## eveningbat

Not so good.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

And just like that, another opportunity snatched up from me because of someone's incompetence. Now I'm back to the anxiety attacks.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel pretty good.  i think they just have a backlog of stuff waiting to be approved, so i have to be patient and i am excited to send my little message to her next time we meet.


----------



## Maverick34

Better than yesterday


----------



## tea111red

Depressed and lonely.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> Depressed and lonely.


Ditto.


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> Ditto.


what are you doing to cope?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> what are you doing to cope?


Nothing healthy, or productive, that's for sure.

How about you?


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> Nothing healthy, or productive, that's for sure.
> 
> How about you?


i'm :cry

yep....nothing productive, either, lol. my crying doesn't even seem to resolve anything anymore. i don't feel much better after doing it. i maybe feel worse since all my crying does is make my eyes/face swell up, age me, and make me look worse. it's involuntarily, though, so it's hard to stop it.

i'm so frustrated that my loneliness problem is so hard to fix.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> i'm :cry
> 
> yep....nothing productive, either, lol. my crying doesn't even seem to resolve anything anymore. i don't feel much better after doing it. i maybe feel worse since all my crying does is make my eyes/face swell up, age me, and make me look worse. it's involuntarily, though, so it's hard to stop it.
> 
> i'm so frustrated that my loneliness problem is so hard to fix.


Yeah, I hear you. I cry almost every day too. I find that listening to my favorite music still helps. I've been having concentration issues, so reading has been difficult, and even watching a movie all the way through in one sitting has been an issue lately. :blank

I wish I had a solution.


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> Yeah, I hear you. I cry almost every day too. I find that listening to my favorite music still helps. I've been having concentration issues, so reading has been difficult, and even watching a movie all the way through in one sitting has been an issue lately. :blank
> 
> I wish I had a solution.


I can relate. 

Music still helps me, too. I'm just going to keep listening to Bryan Ferry ... lmao. I've randomly gotten into some of his songs lately.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> I can relate.
> 
> Music still helps me, too. I'm just going to keep listening to Bryan Ferry ... lmao. I've randomly gotten into some of his songs lately.


Hey, whatever works, lol. I'm still stuck on my 90's music. :b


----------



## tea111red

Aggressive....


----------



## Mur

Frustrated and tired


----------



## Crisigv

not happy, obviously

and not tired, unfortunately

which doesn't help my not happy


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad, lonely, confused, and forgotten.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm good. Allergy problems but I'll live.


----------



## thomasjune

Pretty good. Spend the whole day alone and I plan to do the same tomorrow.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TryingMara

Sleepy, but good.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Like I need to be injected with tranquilizers so I calm down.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Abandoned.


----------



## stewartmays1

feeling positive for once lol


----------



## Prince Adrian

_#$%^&*@#&#$!!!{#$%^&*@#&#$!!#$%^&*@#&#$!!#$%^&*@#&#$!!#$%^&*@#&#$!!#$%^&*@#&#$!!#$%^&*@#&#$#$%^&*@#&#$#$%^&*@#&#$#$%^&*@#&#$#$%^&*@#&#$#$%^&*@#&#$#$%^&*@#&#$#$%^&*@#&#$#$%^&*@#&#$#$%^&*@#&#$#$%^&*@#&#$#$%^&*@#&#$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!










_


----------



## tea111red

Bored...


----------



## Prince Adrian




----------



## Prince Adrian




----------



## AllTheSame

Pretty awesome. I had a really good weekend, and I had some serious, major anxiety building up to this weekend but things could not have gone much better. I did a lot better than I thought with a house full, I mean full of people. I had to take breaks and find some alone time for a while here and there but overall I think I did pretty good. I can't believe I was actually thinking about cancelling. That wasn't an option there's no way in hell I could have done that anyway.

I just wish I knew what it was that makes me so much more able to deal with things at some times as opposed to others. Sometimes I can deal with socializing with a house full of people on a holiday weekend alright (with breaks here and there) and sometimes I just cannot even ****** stand the thought of it and I don't even show up.


----------



## jsgt

I feel like ****. **** these ****ing headaches!!


----------



## cosmicslop

So lazy. Spent the day lounging, so guess I'm going to stay up late to do my studies.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

dead inside lol


----------



## Prince Adrian

inexplicable feeling of shame that strangely 'paralyzed' me for 2 hours!


----------



## Prince Adrian

​
that feeling when inspiration comes but you're too inhibited to create anything..!!


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Crying. Hopeless. I can't stand it anymore.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm good. I had an ok day so far. I should be applying for this job I heard of soon. I exercised, I'm just trying to improve daily.


----------



## Crisigv

A little upset that I decided to cancel my dentist appointment on Wednesday, rather than asking for help to pay for it. If I don't get more hours when my assistant goes on maternity leave, I'm out. I don't even care anymore if I'm leaving them stranded.


----------



## Depo

Good, getting ready for another day at work.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

I'm fine. I wish they'd hurry up and approve an pay me for all the tasks I've done. I have over 20 sitting there waiting... waiting LOL... waiting


----------



## SmartCar




----------



## naptime

Excited! Going to see Deadpool again tomorrow night


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

My head hurts after crying so much (and probably because I was hungry, as it doesn't hurt as much now that I've eaten, but there's still a light ache).

I feel accomplished for finishing a new chapter, but it's small in comparison to all the negativity I've felt all day.


----------



## thomasjune

Tired and worried. Its gonna be a long day tomorrow and the rest of the week.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## unemployment simulator

so tired. need more sleep.


----------



## Depo

My head hurts, I guess I slept too much (more than 10 hours.) And my room is pretty dry, that's why my throat hurts in the morning. I'm glad my dad went out to get me some green tea. I ran out of it and it's the only thing that fixes my dry throat. Other than that, I'm fine, I had a bunch of weird dreams, like I was on LSD. :eyes


----------



## probably offline

Not good. Something positive has to happen soon, or I'll lose all of my motivation and "confidence".


----------



## tea111red

too anxious to do something.


----------



## flockfox

I'm feeling sleepy!


----------



## Xenagos

Calm and hungry.


----------



## Crisigv

Alright I guess. I have a bit of a headache.


----------



## odetoanoddity

So so 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling pretty good for once. I went to my doctor's appt, and got through it with some anxiety but not as much as I normally have.


----------



## Consider

verbal


----------



## Wanderlust89

So relieved! I know for sure I didn't lock the bathroom door but the stupid wind blew it shut and locked somehow. I texted the landlord if she has the key but she doesn't. I was so afraid she was gonna freak out but she called me about it and was calm. I'm still traumatized from my craigslist experience with a psycho landlord long ago who flipped out over something that wasn't even my fault. Anyways, I looked online and found tips on how to pick locks with paper clips and it was a success! Phew.


----------



## Prince Adrian

too tired to express anger to this dangerously low-viscosity liquid sipping through every crack absorbing everything..


----------



## Crisigv

For some reason, not so good. Maybe I'm pms'ing.


----------



## Prince Adrian

but.. come to think about it again, this explains how that Puzzle No. 2.. its other branch of entanglement.. has been there since! why & how I've been so _*EXTREMELY DEFENSIVE*_ towards the whole thing & that in particular..!!


----------



## Grillo89

Lonely :\


----------



## Prince Adrian




----------



## Prince Adrian

extremely receptive vs *EXTREMELY DEFENSIVE*
why can't I just be stable on one??
but do I _actually_ want to stick to either one of those sides??!? NO!! both are forms of suffering!

but looking at other personalities around me & all the world, why can't I be stable like those *incorruptible investigators*??! get on with my life, step out that door, go fulfill my missions?!? if it were never meant to be, why gave me all these visions?!??









​


----------



## Prince Adrian

extremely fluid vs *EXTREMELY SOLID*
*EXTREMELY COLD* vs extremely hot

why all these conflicts??!










why.. now I wonder if one's existence was *actually CAUSED* by the other..! 
towards ' b a l a n c e ' . . 
_*or else the whole system would *__*







DIE..!!*_
but which is the first in creation? but.. does it matter?
oh my god..
















_____
important note: I'm talking about the NEUTRAL extremes.


----------



## Prince Adrian

again, "2" or "1"?


----------



## Prince Adrian

or as in, 
extremely dependent vs _EXTREMELY INDEPENDENT__?

_


----------



## JustALonelyHeart

Tired of feeling angry, disappointed, ashamed, resentful, empty, betrayed, hurt, anxious, I am tired of living.


----------



## Prince Adrian

or is it more like,
extreme fear of being taken advantage of* >> extreme effort & approach towards INDEPENDENCE
..when light 'gives birth' to shadow..?!?

____
note: it's not that I'd blame myself for having this chain of reaction. it's MY *NATURE *after all. huh, rather blame others & experiences - _why would they mess with a highly sensitive person like me?! take that!
_
*)


> extreme fear of being taken advantage of


= being a _SLAVE!!!!_


----------



## Prince Adrian

*I think.. I begin to.. see.. my . . current position . . in the 'map' . . . and 'chain' . . . .*


----------



## Prince Adrian

*Eeerrrrrgh!!!#@$#*^%&!!!* Damn mundane 'real' world & *HABITUAL* *INSECURITIES*!! *Must remind myself NOT to put me BELOW OTHERS anymore NO MATTER WHAT!!!!*


----------



## Prince Adrian

and that's how (aside from the genuine voice within, also *partly* because),
extreme HATRED for mundanity >> extremely HIGH, _GRAND VISIONS_
money lovers/*[email protected]* >> money haters
people/SOCIETY lovers/[email protected] >> people/SOCIETY haters


----------



## Prince Adrian

so is the case with
REALITY vs _DREAMS..!_


----------



## Prince Adrian

extreme FEAR/insecurity >> EXTREME DEFENSE


----------



## Prince Adrian

"YOU MUST WORK WITH OTHERS!! *BE INTERDEPENDENT*!!!!" >>_"THEN I WONT EVER WANT TO WORK WITH OTHERS!!! *I WANT ABSOLUTE SELF-RELIANCE!!!!!!*"_

and finally the ultimate dead end,
"YOU *MUST* LIVE!!!!" >> _"THEN I DON'T WANT. TO. LIVE!!!!!!"_









​


----------



## Prince Adrian

...
how about,
_"Removing yourself from the equation"?







_____
_note: 
I've researched a little about various meanings to this, and I DON'T agree with most of them.
What I posted here is intended to be the one with MY OWN interpretation.


----------



## Prince Adrian

Prince Adrian said:


> = being a _SLAVE!!!!_


because _*"I'd rather DIE than NOT being ME 100%*!!!!!!"_
an impenetrable door of enigma for years..!


----------



## Prince Adrian

Prince Adrian said:


> too tired to express anger to *this dangerously low-viscosity liquid* sipping through every crack absorbing everything..





Prince Adrian said:


> but.. come to think about it again, this explains how that Puzzle No. 2.. its other branch of entanglement.. has been there since! why & how I've been so _*EXTREMELY DEFENSIVE*_ towards the whole thing & that in particular..!!


and that's also why I *can't be innocent* anymore when looking at most human interactions!!!









​


----------



## Prince Adrian

Prince Adrian said:


> = being a _SLAVE!!!!_


and that's why* I DON'T WANT TO CONTRIBUTE* AT ALL!!!!!
even though I love doing the things!


----------



## Mur

Good


----------



## Wanderlust89

"...with trust is pain"

Depressed, lonely, neglected....


----------



## tea111red

I'm just rotting away.


----------



## tea111red

lonely and depressed again.

can't get motivated to do stuff that needs to get done, either.


----------



## Prince Adrian

_EXTREMELY awful!!!!!! _:crying:







and don't know which is worse, no.1 or no. 2.


----------



## Prince Adrian

but it's raining today & I love rain, so hmh.. :/


----------



## ShatteredGlass

pathetic. i can't concentrate & i'm emotionally empty... i also have a bit of a belly ache. :/ bleh.


----------



## Wanderlust89

Annoyed that the dick assistant manager high fived me for completing my work on time. I hate it when he plays games like that from being phony nice to complete *******. Good news is he's finally leaving!


----------



## thomasjune

Depressed. Feels like all my good days are behind me and now there's nothing left but sadness and anger. 
-Angry at myself, not the world.-
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Night Soul

Quite depressed

Feel like I cant and wont change. I wish I would of tried tackling my anxiety and depression issues before now


----------



## Kevin001

I'm ok, I just hope I find work soon before I have to drop my medical insurance because I can't afford it. The plan I have now is really good and I don't want to lose it.....ugh. Lets not forget about the other expenses I have.


----------



## naptime

Tired and emotional


----------



## Mur

Tired....time to sleep....


----------



## SofaKing

Despondent and inconsolable to loss


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, sad, lonely, tired, annoyed, and stupid.


----------



## AllTheSame

Tired, depressed and lonely but otherwise my spirits are up lmao. This was a good day. I actually left my apartment.


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling really good right now, I have the next three days off and have a vacation coming up here shortly to boot! 

Have any of you just get caught up in the moment, just a moment of clarity where everything looks brighter, the sounds around you become like a melody, the wind on your skin like a masseuse, and the scents like gourmet cooking? I get those from time to time to time, just a complete appreciation for being alive, an awe of existing, just being totally engrossed in the moment, and amazement of your own existence. I had one of those moments today, they don't last for long but they happen from time to time. It is a reminder of how crazy everything is, and how out of what is countless possibilities you exist, sort of like winning the lottery a billion consecutive times. 

It is easy to become caught up in to something, to be drawn into anxiety, depression, but those moments of appreciation are welcomed. The good thing, is that as I get older, they become more regular, I suppose the closer you get to death the closer you become aware of your own existence and how insane it all is. 

But yeah, it is only for a few moments, the sensation is enough to carry you for a while. A few beers, just seems to enhance it :lol

I'm really looking forward to camping here in just a week, I look forward to being away from people and being in nature. 

Life is good.


----------



## tea111red

Getting organized is difficult.


----------



## Crisigv

confused and annoyed


----------



## Prince Adrian

hidden guilt of speculating _??#$%@#&%$*__%@#&%$__%@#&%$%!!$!!!!!!

_


----------



## Prince Adrian

ambiguous feeling of being naturally neutral caused by my intellect observing from the distance instead of 'feminine + sharp' match to my face _@??#$!%&#&@#!!!!???_


----------



## JustALonelyHeart

Feeling somewhat better than yesterday.My day did began with the same fear, sadness, emptiness, tiredness but then spending a couple hours outdoors in the spring sun lieing on the grass, and listening to birds singing can change the mood for the better.My fear, and sadness are thankfully numb for the moment although I still feel a bit tired.All in all, compared to yesterday when I'd have given my mood a 2 on a 1 to 10 scale, today is a 5.


----------



## Prince Adrian

*sabotaging sabotage..*

_scenario 1! scenario 2! scenario 3! scenario 4! scenario 5 ! scenario #! scenario #! scenario #! scenario #! scenario #! scenario #! scenario #! scenario #! scenario #! scenario #! scenario #! scenario #! scenario #! scenario #! scenario #! scenario #! what if! what if! what if! what if! what if! what if! what if! what if! what if! what if! what if! what if! what if! imagine if! imagine if! imagine if! imagine if! imagine if! imagine if! imagine if! imagine if! imagine if! imagine if! *BUT YOU HAVE NO PROOF IF THESE ARE WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENING! YOU HAVE NO PROOF IF THESE ARE WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENING! YOU HAVE NO PROOF IF THESE ARE WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENING! YOU HAVE NO PROOF IF THESE ARE WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENING! YOU HAVE NO PROOF IF THESE ARE WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENING!*
*BECAUSE I'M SO AFRAID if the worst possibility turns out to be the reality! SO AFRAID if the worst possibility turns out to be the reality! AFRAID! SCARED! SCARED! SCARED! SCARED! SCARED! SCARED!* *BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THAT TO BE THE TRUTH! DON'T WANT THAT TO BE THE TRUTH! DON'T WANT THAT TO BE THE TRUTH! DON'T WANT THAT TO BE THE TRUTH!*
WHAT I *REALLY* WANT IS__ TO BE *VERY HONEST* WHAT I WANT IS__ TO BE *TRULY HONEST* WHAT I WANT IS__ TO BE *COMPLETELY HONEST* WHAT I *TRULY* WANT IS__ *DEEP FROM MY HEART* WHAT I WANT IS__ WHAT I WANT IS__ WHAT I WANT IS__ WHAT I WANT IS__

__







_​


----------



## stumble

The realization of the fact that the ability to conversate, be self-assured, happy and smiling is not there is pretty heavy. It isn't just the fact that 10 years of isolation has contributed to this, it's also that i never have been especially happy or heart-warming, i've been sad and nervous since childhood, as well as the fact that my life is so limited that i doesn't have anything to talk about.


I see how others interact and what they talk about, and it's not ground-breaking stuff, yet my brain can't put the right words into a sentence. I try to talk and it's wrong, i shut up and it's wrong. I spend a lot of energy smiling and trying to be happy, when my inside is as insecure and sad as it has been for a long time. The urge to give up and not even try anymore is getting stronger. What pains the most i seeing how some at work gets more responsabilities and challanges, and i'm not cut out for it.


----------



## zonebox

The house needs to be cleaned, it is raining outside, I'm stuck indoors today. I wanted to mow the lawn, but that is gonna have to wait till Monday. This house is a huge mess right now, no one seems to know how to put anything away after they use things, those things inadvertently fall off the counters, tables, whatever, the dogs get into whatever it may be, then I have an accumulation of stuff to pick off the ground... which is frustrating of course. It could all be avoided if people simply put things away.. but ... nooooooooo. They leave me to do it.

I could dwell on that, there is enough to dwell on. But it is only going to take three or four hours to clean most of the house, then it will just be upkeep until next weekend. I'm to blame anyway, I did not keep up with everything, and it became a mess.. does anyone actually read these posts lawl

I'm actually not doing that bad, in fact I'm doing pretty well. No soul crushing depression or anxiety, once the house is clean I will sit back play a video game and relax.


----------



## Prince Adrian

so *small*..!!!!!


and.. just r e a l i z i n g . .

_SO DREADFULLY AFRAID OF *MISSING OUT* ON THINGS IF I LOSE THE CHANCE WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!_








​


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Miserable.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

I'm okay I guess.


----------



## odetoanoddity

Currently: frustrated.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad for my coworker, because her mother died. But at the same time, I'm hopeful because I might have a chance at the temporary assistant manager position.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Crisigv said:


> I'm sad for my coworker, because her mother died. But at the same time, I'm hopeful because I might have a chance at the temporary assistant manager position.


 Hope you get it.


----------



## Mur

Amused


----------



## Crisigv

WillYouStopDave said:


> Hope you get it.


Thanks


----------



## Ladysoul

Ahhh ummm yeh <--- like that


----------



## harrison

I'm actually pretty scared. Some guy on the Tv has prostate cancer and they said there's nothing they can do for him. I thought it had a high success rate if they catch it early. I have to go and see a urologist again as my numbers are high - I'll probably have to have a biopsy, it's scary.


----------



## Wanderlust89

Depressed.... It's the beginning of the work week again.


----------



## Ckg2011

Like boiled crap. Maybe I don't know.


----------



## Ladysoul

Ghostly Presence said:


> Feeling very strange and distant, like I'm floating. I can't focus on anything. I can't understand what people are saying. Their words just float through my skull. I don't feel connected to my body. I can't hear my thoughts. It's pretty peaceful in this disconnected state. It feels like my eyes are watching television. The passing of time is accelerated and I feel the sensation of falling every now and then when I realize I had disappeared from my body as if sleeping while awake. It's impossible to not be distracted in this state, it is the definition of distraction. It hasn't gone away after several bouts of sleep so I suppose it'll be here for awhile.


Oo this sounds very intrinsic to me and i am feeling similar right now. hopefully it passes when the times right. cheers


----------



## Elleire

Cold, bored to tears, avoiding work, and wishing I had either some company or a purpose to my night. It's already 9. Ugh.


----------



## lonerroom

I'm kind of depressed and mad... Why can't I just have 1 true loyal friend???? Just 1???


----------



## tea111red

blegh
hideous
uncomfortable in my skin.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Unlovable.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

irritated


----------



## StephCurry

suicidal


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

SamanthaStrange said:


> Unlovable.


Nooo, you're wonderful.


----------



## Lensa

My ADHD meds are kicking in so I'm on one. :eyes



StephCurry said:


> suicidal


:hug

Hope you have someone to talk to right now. If not feel free to send me a message.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Wings of Amnesty said:


> Nooo, you're wonderful.


Not sure why you'd think that, but thank you.


----------



## StephCurry

Lensa said:


> :hug
> 
> Hope you have someone to talk to right now. If not feel free to send me a message.


thanks I really appreciate that.


----------



## coeur_brise

Like a dirty old shoe that someone left on the street.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

more or less fine. it seems that they are starting to approve and pay me more or less the next day for the work now which is some progress. I have felt sleepy all day today.


----------



## Wanderlust89

So angry and depressed I feel like screaming.


----------



## Don Aman

I'm dealing with a lot of physical side effects of recent anxiety/depression issues and I'm feeling totally nauseated right now. I would love to have a good cry but it's just not coming for some reason.


----------



## AffinityWing

I got sick and I think my head might still kind of hurt, but I'm feeling alright.


----------



## Mur

Indecisive


----------



## Crisigv

Tired


----------



## Depo

Not very good. Yesterday was the online postgraduate admission for people who work on my field. My female friend and I agreed that we would text each other once it started early in the morning. Yesterday I sent her a message because I couldn't enter the website. She didn't answer my texts. But somehow I managed to finish my admission before I had to go to work. 

She texted me on my way to work. Saying she couldn't enter the website. I told her how I was able to finish my admission (by adding https to the website address.) Hours later she told me she still wasn't able to complete her admission. She said I was a bad friend for not doing it for her. I told her she was acting childish, because I didn't have her personal information. She replied and told me that "I should have asked her." Then I told her that I sent her a message in the morning and she never replied (until 2:30 pm.) And that I didn't have time because I had to go to work (I could barely finish my own application.) 

If she was just an ordinary friend I'd have thought she was crazy, but we've know each other for 7 years (since we were in Uni.) When I did it back in 2014, I did it 4 days after the website started registring applications. It turns out that since last year, the admissions are over from day 1 (even though the page states that the applications can be filed over a 1 week period.) 

She said that she wasn't ready because she was out of town taking care of her mother (who is a breast cancer survivor, but as far as I know her mother's cancer has come back.) I told her that she should've taken this day off in order to focus on her application, that her mother would've been fine. I also told her that if her mother was not doing good, maybe she shouldn't pursue a postgraduate yet. After that she didn't reply to me. Today I texted her telling her that I wish she was able to finish her application and that I didn't know things would get this hard(back in 2014 it wasn't hard for me at all.) and that I was sorry for all the things I said to her. But she hasn't replied to me. 

I think it's unfair. She's a 30 year old woman and when she told me I should've finished her application for her while I was on my way to work without even knowing her personal information, I thought that was very childish on her part. I'm sick and tired of people blaming me for their problems, whereas I try to solve mine on my own. :no


----------



## tea111red

miserable


----------



## jsgt

Man it stinks so bad in here, but I can't stop farting. So...I feel relieved and disgusted at the same time. Also tired...so I'll have to sleep on my stomach to let all the farts out. Hopefully this underwear won't be ruined when I wake up.


----------



## IzzyWizzy

Miserable and I hate myself. I just can't communicate with people right and I get misunderstood. 
I feel like a fool. 
No one understands =(


----------



## Prince Adrian

_SO VERY AFRAID of *MISSING OUT ON LIFE*!!!!!!!#$%@&(*!!<[#!!!!!
WASTED!! *WASTED*!!! WASTED!!!!!!

















​_


----------



## Prince Adrian

never felt so E M P T Y in my life.


----------



## IzzyWizzy

Sorry you feel like that prince /hugs


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired and grumpy.


----------



## Joey315

Quite sad/depressed, my dreams are haunting me. I feel hollow inside.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## regimes

tired, i had a pretty big anxiety attack yesterday.


----------



## IzzyWizzy

Fed up
Day off work. Lovely weather outside and I'll prob end up wasting it by staying indoors.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Prince Adrian said:


> _SO VERY AFRAID of *MISSING OUT ON LIFE*!!!!!!!#$%@&(*!!<[#!!!!!
> WASTED!! *WASTED*!!! WASTED!!!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ​_


lmao i feel like you should chill with these posts.... damn.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel pretty good i suppose. My qualification for the company has gone up another point... sot that a little progress.


----------



## Crisigv

miserable
lonely
bored
ugly 
fat 
forgotten
so on and so on


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Hopeful. I had an interview last week and got selected to attend the second part of their interview process (it's in three steps). Tomorrow is the day of the second interview. I really hope I get the job, or at the very least another job somewhere else soon.

Also applied for a dental insurance plan (which is surprisingly not as expensive as I thought it would be, at least for preventive care), so I plan on making more trips to the dentist without having to fork over $100+ just for a cleaning. Since I have **** genetics, I figure dental insurance is kind of necessary if I want to keep my teeth, avoid pain, and not pay an arm and a leg for basic preventive care.


----------



## Dark Jewel

Lonely and depressed.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

TheUrbanDepressive said:


> Hopeful. I had an interview last week and got selected to attend the second part of their interview process (it's in three steps). Tomorrow is the day of the second interview. I really hope I get the job, or at the very least another job somewhere else soon.


Right on. Best of luck to you.

Resigned and, therefore, fine. I am also concerned and anxious. Yah.


----------



## harrison

Feeling a lot better now. Will go home to Melbourne for a while soon to see my son, I miss him so much.


----------



## nonethemore

Very sad and in pain.


----------



## AllTheSame

I don't even know lmao. I guess I'm just in a state of disbelief, incredulous, idk. On a support site for people that suffer from anxiety people want to debate about who "really" has anxiety. According to some I "have no idea how lucky I am" because I'm not a virgin, because I've had sex.


Let me get this straight. I'm not proud of this but I was high and I was drunk af when I lost my virginity and so was she. I put a jimmy on it but other than that, it really didn't take a whole lot of planning or skills. I was drunk af when I had casual sex a few times with girls on the first floor of my college dorm. How the f does that make me immune to having an anxiety disorder. It took seriously zero skills for me to get laid, none whatsoever, in almost every case I can think of we were both hammered and some people may view it as irresponsible on my part but I used protection and I. do. not. regret. it.


So I guess I got lucky. Maybe I've been lucky. That's all it is imo. If you want to say I don't suffer from the disorders that I've been diagnosed with by multiple psychiatrists over the last however many years then you have zero credibility with me. You are wasting keystrokes wasting your breath wasting everyone's time imo with every reply you make because I don't even take you seriously.


----------



## odetoanoddity

Feeling nauseous. Ugh. &#128567;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Don Aman

I was in a decent mood tonight until my mom called crying because she gave money she couldn't afford to give to a political campaign. Specifically, she bought a raffle ticket to win tickets to visit George Clooney's house in support of Hillary Clinton's campaign. I wish I could be more patient with her but it's so frustrating to have to help her out when she makes these ridiculous decisions.


----------



## JustALonelyHeart

Feeling inspired to send out lots of hugs to all the lonely and sad people not just on this forum but also from all over the world.
You are never alone.
Also feeling tired cause insomnia kept me up all night and I got stuff to do today and I won't be able to and that will just make me feel miserable, lazy and ugh., I hate you insomnia.Nvm, guess tomorrow's still a day and I will just have a lazy day and will eventually feel good about it.Gonna probably end up writing or sitting in the sun sometime in the afternoon.
Ok.Hugs everyone.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm good. Had a good workout today and helped my mom out a lot. Just chilling at the moment. Gotta try to apply for jobs tomorrow.


----------



## txdd

i feel too interested in life for my own good.


----------



## JustALonelyHeart

@Kevin001 Glad to hear your day was a good one


----------



## Depo

Bad... my back hurts. :no


----------



## Kevin001

JustALonelyHeart said:


> @Kevin001 Glad to hear your day was a good one


Aww, thank you. :squeeze


----------



## JustALonelyHeart

@Depo sorry to hear about your back
@ShatteredGlass Who isn't tired of school lol try skipping every now and then, it'll feel less of a boring experience


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Trying to keep calm. Interview is in about 15 minutes and will go for about 3 hours. I hope I do well and continue to make a good impression. That's why they asked me to come back for the second interview, after all.


----------



## StephCurry

Dark Jewel said:


> Lonely and depressed.


I know exactly how you feel.

Hang in there. :hug :squeeze


----------



## smeeble

Very irritated and worried, I just wanna go home :sigh


----------



## uziq

had pretty sht sleep for the past few days, but i'm getting a lot of work done at least. hopefully i'll have 40 hours by the end of today and then i'm done for the week.


----------



## Xenagos

Tired. I stayed up all night trying to fix my sleep cycle. I've had really bad insomnia on and off for the past few years. So once every second month my cycle gets messed up and it screws me over for at least a few weeks. It sucks because I just realized how I can't pull an all-nighter without feeling tired anymore. :yawn


----------



## AllTheSame

@ Xenagos I feel the same (minus the drinking). My sleep schedule will be just fine for a while and then just go completely crazy. I can't figure out what triggers it, and I don't like the idea of taking sleeping pills.


How I'm feeling now is anxious. I do not want to go to physical therapy. I'm not looking forward to it. I don't think the woman I work with has any idea how her carelessness and just acting stupid has totally thrown my life into a tailspin. She did apologize, but I don't think she has any idea....


----------



## Night Soul

Depressed. I feel that if I was more aesthetically appealing my life would be better socially but I will always be that guy with the goofy look.

SMH


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel pretty good. they have increased my qualification score again... but im wondering how long it will be before I they'll give me the higher paying tasks...? i should be pleased that some progress is being made just now.


----------



## tea111red

Definitely not relaxed.


----------



## thomasjune

Weekend is almost here so I feel pretty good. Not that I have anything planned but I'll get to relax a bit.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## JustALonelyHeart

I haven't really been feeling anything much these past few days.Even when I feel something, it's so shallow that...well, I don't know.Maybe my heart has had it, and it's turning to stone?Maybe it'd be better if it did.I never want to feel pain or anxiety again.If not feeling happiness or love ever again either is the price, I'll pay it gladly.
So I feel numb and emtpy...not even that.I dunno.


----------



## tea111red

I feel very alone and it's very painful (and I think I have a high tolerance for pain).


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

It feels like I have a pressure on my chest, probably from stress/anxiety. This job search is really tearing me to shreds. Today marks exactly three months since I lost my last job. It's ridiculous. It all makes me hate my previous employer for laying me off. I wish I could just be injected with tranquilizers every day just to avoid these near panic attacks.


----------



## Kovu

Sick .


----------



## odetoanoddity

Fighting a virus. Doing what I can to look after myself at this time. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## whereistheoffswitch

Worthless and useless


----------



## Arbre

nonethemore said:


> Very sad and in pain.


I hope you'll be feeling better.


----------



## farfegnugen

Very, very sleepy and pretty lethargic in desperate need of an energy boost.


----------



## Maverick34

Eh


----------



## JohnDoe26

Like ****. Mom basically unloaded her emotional baggage on me about our financial situation. There's little I can do to help given my mental illness and lack of a job.


----------



## tea111red

run me over


----------



## Crisigv

restless


----------



## DeadlyFurryWeeb

Dead inside


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Trapped


----------



## Consider

"What would make up your perfect day?"

Wake up and die.


----------



## harrison

Feeling fantastic - pretty hard to feel bad on a day like this.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Trying to dissociate from the real world a bit.


----------



## SplendidBob

Kinda miserable. Still an old friend is coming back down here to visit tomorrow so that should cheer me up a bit.


----------



## Maverick34

Very meh


----------



## Kevin001

I get to practice driving again tomorrow morning. I'm excited and scared at the same time. I gotta go through with it though .


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like a worthless piece of crap.


----------



## Prince Adrian

just realized I'm _really_ afraid to settle down. even if he's Nobuhiko Okamoto or Hugh Jackman look-alike.. with promising personality :heart.








​
that doesn't erase the potentially annoying/DISTURBING 'small' things. why like someone and then murder him later? 
don't hear anything from intuition now yet.


----------



## Prince Adrian

​
_"I don't know.. I don't know? I DON'T know?? I don't know THAT too?!? And I don't REALLY know THAT as well?!?? And that and *that* and that and that etc??!?"_


















_HAIL TO "I DON'T KNOW"!!!
:yay:yay:yay
_ 








​


----------



## Prince Adrian

why hasn't she got killed yet? that sleazy bytch. *where's my knife?*


----------



## Prince Adrian

okay Adrian, get up, let's go. leave this forum for the day & LIVE your insights!


----------



## Prince Adrian

a flatmate is crying out loud. this is the 2nd time I heard while I've been here (different person). I built up the courage to approach them, someone might seriously injured/sick. and turned out it's 'just' a girl heartbroken. I feel relieved things are not as serious.

thoughts:
1. I don't know what really to feel after that initial worry. partly I'm sad, knowing something about being heartbroken. but partly I don't really feel I'm connected at all. there's this looking glass. no matter how similar our problems could be I'll still be feeling unrelated & different. now is this 'good' or 'bad'?
2. she & her friends around consoling her are the extroverts who joke, scream, laugh out loud, play around all over the place. to know they actually 'have feelings' & can express them that vulnerable (the cry is heard the whole floor) is quite a news to me. :/ damn I feel almost stupid writing this.


----------



## Prince Adrian

*and wishing him far out there to have this feeling too, the same even WORSE disturbance than I'm going through! Muhahahahahahaaaa...!! >*


----------



## lonerroom

Right now I feel giddy about the cool new outfit I downloaded for my character in Fallout 4 from the nexus mod site. Sadly I cannot start a new game right now because its way passed my bedtime and if I stay up to start a new game I will have to put myself on a time out and ban myself from having yummy cereal for breakfast in the morning. Me and my invisible twin are so excited to start a new Fallout 4 game, since I have no one to talk to about Fallout 4, at least I have my invisible twin to talk to, we are so excited to play. We just can't wait to begin with the new outfit! We are so giddy it makes us want to giggle.


----------



## Prince Adrian

realizing despite my sensitive nature, most likely I will never be 'a shoulder to cry on' to anyone. not sure if I want to be though, I guess not. hmm..


----------



## Prince Adrian

perhaps I'm not different with you after all. part of me want to believe that.


----------



## Prince Adrian

but I think I never really 'care' about others' opinions, so hmm..


----------



## AllTheSame

Awesome. I got caught up on sleep. I got tons of exercise yesterday and will get more today, and I really am starting to believe that makes me feel so, so much better. I'm looking forward to today with my kids, going to a MLS game in a few hours (with just awesome seats).


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel pretty good. i heard from someone special the other day, i need to get back to her later . i've been a bit lazy and not done much exercise the past 3 days tho :blush


----------



## unemployment simulator

knackered, spent the day cleaning, working out, cooking, washing up. spent about an hour trimming my facial hair with scissors but it looks awesome now.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

****. what's new lol.


----------



## lonerroom

Confused...


----------



## Prince Adrian

because I used to be sure about myself. I went to a university, studied a major, got friends, family, nothing so much out of ordinary in my past.. or so I thought. but later things happened, unrecognized wounds surfacing, accumulating, added to the new profound discoveries about myself I didn't know exist, I _exploded_. 
now I can't relate to anyone or anything. I don't know who I am if I were to DEFINE myself using this world's ROLES as vocabulary. I don't feel like home in this planet with its RULES. a stranger, but not in positive spin. a stranger feeling small & weak & beaten instead of feeling FREE & powerful.


----------



## Prince Adrian

WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING? this mirror *IS* flawed & fragmented!!


----------



## Prince Adrian

because this world has its RIGID rules ('common sense') and EVERYONE *assumes* that EVERYONE MUST OBEY them! or else it's UNFAIR or a THREAT to their belief systems = exposing their stupidity = their defeat!

(disclaimer: I'm a rebel not even fitting in with other rebels.)


----------



## Prince Adrian

and I've been _TRAINED_ to be a *shapeshifter*. obviously not on my own will. just SOCIAL survival.
...
and so it's been messing up with my core desires..?


----------



## unemployment simulator

bit tired, another busy day, this time with appointments and shopping. still need to get round to the doctors and do a workout.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel pretty fine, i was a bit tired earlier but ive perked up a little now.


----------



## Prince Adrian

*self-directed*

and can you be really sure that you would make a bad partner/lover once you get one (because of your SA, introversion, etc)? _[#[email protected]%& 'thanks' to this infernal insecurity & normies' indoctrination!!!]_
_
you *DON'T* KNOW that.

_


----------



## Dark Jewel

IvyAndRoses said:


> Sad and pathetic.


This.


----------



## Crisigv

Just a teensy smidge sad, but I'm alright.


----------



## CWe

Frustrated, angry, sad and hopeless


----------



## Kevin001

I feel great. Killed my workout earlier, applied for a couple more jobs, ate good. Lets see how the rest of my day goes .


----------



## uziq

tired but wired


----------



## Xenagos

I feel neither depressed nor any happiness, I'm just sort of existing.


----------



## naptime

I'm a nervous wreck


----------



## Crisigv

naptime said:


> I'm a nervous wreck


Aw, why? At least your work got pushed back another day.


----------



## Prince Adrian

_now Adrian, focus on the NOW.

and you said you'll what..?
while you're allowed to be afraid, remember: you *DON'T* really KNOW that. you're still HERE now.

_


----------



## Depo

Bad... I drank too much yesterday my stomach is burning. I hope tomorrow I'll feel better. :no


----------



## lonerroom

I feel so TORN! I should be working on my projects, I have many projects to work on, but I am so torn between projects and playing Fallout 4, Fallout 4 has gotten super fun since the expansion pack and I am anxious for the creation kit. But I need to continue on my projects >_<


----------



## SofaKing

Yeah...not going to be able to handle it.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

SofaKing said:


> Yeah...not going to be able to handle it.
> 
> Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


Is it your work you're worried about? You can handle it, you've done it before. It's going to be hard to not let the people get to you, but you need to try. You all need to work together to get the project done, not against each other. They need to realize that. I wish I had better advice, I'm sure I would get pretty flustered too.


----------



## naes

I'm starting to wonder where the good people are in this world.


----------



## SofaKing

Crisigv said:


> Is it your work you're worried about? You can handle it, you've done it before. It's going to be hard to not let the people get to you, but you need to try. You all need to work together to get the project done, not against each other. They need to realize that. I wish I had better advice, I'm sure I would get pretty flustered too.


Thanks, but no. It's about someone I lost.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## harrison

Inspired - this place really amazes me sometimes.


----------



## herk

confused

regretful

aloof

desirous


----------



## Ominous Indeed

My calves hurt so much i can't walk. Horrible


----------



## dune87

ate a lot of spaghetti, im going to explode any minute now


----------



## Crisigv

Bored and lonely


----------



## tea111red

Still alone. Still have no prospects. Still pretty much hopeless. Still have trouble managing my emotions and finding comfort when I think about all of this. Pfft. :sigh


----------



## SofaKing

Hopeless and meaningless. 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Plasma

Tired... gotta do homework though.


----------



## Depo

I'm tipsy and feeling the alcoholism rising. I'm tempted to buy more liquor or wine tomorrow, cause there's a place that sells liquor near my work. I'm always telling myself I should stop it. But I don't know what's wrong with me. I always keep drinking and making mistakes.:sigh


----------



## uziq

extremely tired. hope i can get decent sleep tonight because i need it


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Nitrogen said:


> Tired, stressed out. Can't wait for death.


this = relatable.








:squeeze hope you feel better now/soon.


----------



## Iconclast

I feel depressed. Because I can't keep a job and no girl wants me. I'm to insecure to even be with a women so I watch tons of porn. I feel like I can never get better. I'm 25. I'm Irritated, depressed and feeling hopeless


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Iconclast

Prince Adrian said:


> _SO VERY AFRAID of *MISSING OUT ON LIFE*!!!!!!!#$%@&(*!!<[#!!!!!
> WASTED!! *WASTED*!!! WASTED!!!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ​_


I'm already missing it. I've missed so much


----------



## tea111red

Bored. Antsy.


----------



## Nitrogen

Terrible headache and feel stressed to all hell. I **** everything up.


----------



## harrison

Just waking up - but I feel like anything is possible. Things are going to be great.


----------



## Andras96

Yep. Just what I ****ing suspected. People were only being nice at first, only to never reply again... ever.


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

I need to stop twirling my hair; it's been giving me a headache. Damn anxiety habits. :|


----------



## naptime

Tired, sore and sun burnt!


----------



## moo101

I feel like killing myself right now.. I've felt like this for 2 weeks now. I can feel every nerve in my body tingle, I feel so nauseated and I want to sleep my way out of it.


----------



## odetoanoddity

Meh. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## nubly

Just took a shower. Feeling relaxed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## catcharay

As if I would like to vomit.


----------



## SofaKing

Nothing like hosting a business dinner while having to periodically excuse myself to pee out my bum...good times. 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

SofaKing said:


> Nothing like hosting a business dinner while having to periodically excuse myself to pee out my bum...good times.


----------



## Crisigv

My stomach really hurts.


----------



## mdw9124

Honestly, I'm feeling pretty depressed at the moment. Super depressed and even more lonely. I just want to sleep and never wake up.


----------



## Iconclast

mdw9124 said:


> Honestly, I'm feeling pretty depressed at the moment. Super depressed and even more lonely. I just want to sleep and never wake up.


Your not alone


----------



## Depo

Better than yesterday. I woke up early this morning and went to the drugstore in order to buy a box of sertraline (zoloft) and a shot of depo-provera (I want to gain some pounds and this med is the right one for me, this stress is making me lose weight and I don't want to look too skinny.) Anyway, I'm going back to sertraline, my OCD is killing me, I'm feeling blue again, I can't focus on interacting with people or studying and Clonazepam (Klonopin) is not working for me anymore, it just makes me sleepy (I've probably developed some tolerance.) It's a pity I'll have to wait at least 2 weeks in order to see some progress. I haven't taken it since june of last year. :sigh


----------



## sebastian1

like a failure


----------



## kesker

:evil I feel like medium-hot chile salsa!!!! 

With cilantro!!!!

I like how I feel when I say "Chile salsa!!!"

I like to pronounce it "Chid-ly Sald-sa!!!! 

Whoo!!!! :banana


----------



## SamanthaStrange

kesker said:


> :evil I feel like medium-hot chile salsa!!!!
> 
> With cilantro!!!!
> 
> I like how I feel when I say "Chile salsa!!!"
> 
> I like to pronounce it "Chid-ly Sald-sa!!!!
> 
> Whoo!!!! :banana


:rofl :yay :squeeze


----------



## odetoanoddity

Anxious. I'd rate it a 7/10


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

Better than last night, but really drained.


----------



## unemployment simulator

I have consumed around 200g of sugar in the form of chocolate. surprised I am not bouncing off the walls right now, although I am a bit.. wired.


----------



## harrison

I usually feel better in the mornings - especially here where you wake up and it's bright sunshine. It makes you feel like you can go anywhere and do anything you want. Which I know I can, but I still miss my family - it feels like somethings broken inside of me. I have to live a different type of life now and I don't really like it.


----------



## Don Aman

I'm actually feeling pretty good today. I got a package sent to me by my family from Zabar's with all the components to make really good Reuben/Rachel sandwiches. Being the lazy cook that I am I've been eating all the components separately. 

I warmed up half a loaf of rye bread and ate it with the aged Swiss cheese. Then I followed it up by alternateing between slices of pastrami and corned beef. I'm trying to eat less meat but there's something about good cold cuts from a quality deli that is just irresistible. I've still got plenty of coleslaw and really good Russian dressing so perhaps I can make a salad tomorrow to make up for my overindulgence.

I have to plan a visit back up to New York soon.


----------



## Resergence

sad because I have work tonight -.-


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Like trash. Have a Desire for Death™.


----------



## Flora20

Lonely and sad


----------



## Farideh

Hungry.
I had a 
- tall vanilla bean frappe
- cake pop
- chilaquiles
- ravioli
- chips and salsa

and I'm still freakin hungry. -_- fml


----------



## Andras96

Lol, I suck.


----------



## funnynihilist

feel like drinking. i think i will!


----------



## AllTheSame

Tired and sore but otherwise OK. I think my body is starting to get used to working out, and being on a low-fat diet. I'm still craving pizza lol but not as much as I was when I first started. I haven't bought a scale yet and I'm not sure if I'm even going to. My goal is to lose about 15 pounds but I think I might just see if my pants fit a little looser in a month or so. I don't want to get obsessive about the weight....my goal is really to get fit, and I think the weight loss is going to come with that.


----------



## unemployment simulator

bit empty and unfulfilled. I feel like I need something but I don't know what..


----------



## Maverick34

Accomplished. Finally looked through a box full of dry, but previously wet papers from Hurricane Sandy. I ended the procrastination & scanned most of em


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable as usual. I'm a loser, so I deserve to feel like this.


----------



## Maverick34

Crisigv said:


> Miserable as usual. I'm a loser, so I deserve to feel like this.


Get in your neutral zone


----------



## Crisigv

Sad 
Hopeless 
Pathetic 
Worthless


----------



## unemployment simulator

depressed.


----------



## catcharay

Relief it's over but there are more issues to solve. Looking up lsd therapeutic benefits for anxiety.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored/restless


----------



## odetoanoddity

Anxious. Let tomorrow not be as bad as I'm imagining it to be. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## harrison

My brain doesn't work properly anymore.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

whatever


----------



## daisywillowlilyrose

I feel insecure, anxious, pathetic.


----------



## Prince Adrian

browing SAS is FUN!


----------



## Prince Adrian

because some people here who thought they're not interesting, are actually pretty *CUUUURIOUS!* 0> _*investigate!*_










(yeah, now you see I love these romantic HO games..:/ )


----------



## Prince Adrian

or maybe I just need a better hobby. or stop avoiding solving my real puzzles. :]








​


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

Frustrated. I've come across some fruit loops here in my time, but I think it's gotten to a point where I need to seriously consider hanging up my boots for good.


----------



## Prince Adrian

really their posts would make good 'victorian letters' or so. I'm even tempted to create those myself: copy their posts, find some antique-styled fonts, download some old paper textures, use photoshop etc, make them jpeg pics, just collect them to enjoy for its own sake! :laugh:










I think I've invented a new hobby!


----------



## unemployment simulator

a bit better today.



Prince Adrian said:


> really their posts would make good 'victorian letters' or so. I'm even tempted to create those myself: copy their posts, find some antique-styled fonts, download some old paper textures, use photoshop etc, make them jpeg pics, just collect them to enjoy for its own sake! :laugh:
> 
> I think I've invented a new hobby!


I think you'd have to ask for their consent first, sounds like a fascinating idea though, sometimes the words on here can seem a bit impersonal, detached, cold, not through what the people themselves write but just because of the medium we are interacting with. i've often looked at mine and thought how my emotions are being conveyed, putting it in the context of a handwritten letter could certainly change the perception and maybe allow some others to fully engage with the persons thoughts emotionally, empathically.
you seem like quite a creative person


----------



## The Starry night

Horrible. *lay on my bed 

Dont feel like waking up now :/


----------



## Prince Adrian

unemploymentsimulator2016 said:


> I think you'd have to ask for their consent first, sounds like a fascinating idea though, sometimes the words on here can seem a bit impersonal, detached, cold, not through what the people themselves write but just because of the medium we are interacting with. i've often looked at mine and thought how my emotions are being conveyed, putting it in the context of a handwritten letter could certainly change the perception and maybe allow some others to fully engage with the persons thoughts emotionally, empathically.
> you seem like quite a creative person


don't worry, if I were to create any I'd just keep it to myself.  yes there's always that potential of distortion of perception, thank goodness I'm (sometimes) aware that I'm a 'romantic', happen to judge people through this artist's eyes. my opinion could change very different if I met those people in person. 
yeah if you want others to understand you, unless others are psychic, you need to communicate in some way and I see, because every medium has its limits there will always be some holes.
and thanks!  maybe I am creative, but now LARGELY inhibited. (uh.. that's why I'm in SAS now.. :? )


----------



## Prince Adrian

(just a note to self: sometimes I use same signifier for different signified in my selfish thread.)


----------



## Prince Adrian

wow.. things do feel more vivid & clear when yo u . sur r en d e r . . 
(because I'm 'dead' again now..)


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Hot. The temperature has shot up to 70*F and walking in it is an effort. At least it's not humid (yet).

Fingers are crossed that I get some good news this week, particularly tomorrow.


----------



## Lensa

Better than yesterday and the night before that so we're making some progress.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm tired and I have a headache. It was a long day.


----------



## harrison

Feeling pretty good - I found another book by Gillian Flynn. She can really write.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I've been feeling really drained for the last few days.


----------



## Crisigv

Annoyed. I am so fed up with this body, especially my skin. I want a skin transplant. There should be an 'annoyed' or 'irritated' mood choice.


----------



## tea111red

RELIEVED. I got my prescriptions. Apparently my conditions are severe.


----------



## SplendidBob

Feels like stomach ulcer / problem is back again. Grr. Ringing the doctors tomorrow I guess.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> RELIEVED. I got my prescriptions. Apparently my conditions are severe.


I'm glad you finally got your meds... hope you start feeling much better soon.


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> I'm glad you finally got your meds... hope you start feeling much better soon.


Thanks, Samantha. Hope you find some relief, too.


----------



## Euripides

Oh, quite the same as the other night: alone in the universe. A universe which occasionnally flings other lonely comets my way ut they just bump off of me as soon as they have absorbed the kinetic energy needed to send them on their merry way again.

I'm spending tonight, as the other night, compulsively shaking my leg in silence, chainsmoking and popping pills.
Mechanically fighting for a mechanical existence. 

Absurd, innit.


----------



## Mur

Bueno


----------



## Depo

I feel fine. Sertraline and clonazepam are a good combo. My OCD is getting better and my social anxiety is still the same, but at least I can look at people in the eye (although only for seconds at a time.) I hope my overall mental health improves in the upcoming months with the help of sertraline. :smile2:


----------



## SofaKing

It won't be much longer, I'm guessing.


----------



## PlayerOffGames

im the best that ever did it
the best thats gonna do it
the rest aint really live it
the rest aint going through it

ha...no...i feel horrible and i need a temp ban


----------



## ShatteredGlass

More or less the same as I have for a while now. ****. Jealous. Shameful. Inferior. Stressed. My stomach aches and I'm upset. I've yet to achieve any emotional relief. :/


----------



## Prince Adrian

_









DISAPPOINTED!!!!!!!
to self. SHAME.
I know nothing. again.
comparing to him. again @#$#!!!!
@#$%^&*!!([?/;$#%^&#!!!!!!
@#$%^&*!!([?/;$#%^&#!!!!!!!
*@#$%^&*!!([?/;$#%^&#!!!!!!!!
@#$%^&*!!([?/;$#%^&#!!!!!!!!!
@#$%^&*!!([?/;$#%^&#!!!!!!!!!!*
@#$%^&*!!([?/;$#%^&#!!!!!!!!!!!
*@#$%^&*!!([?/;$#%^&#!!!!!!!!!!!!*
@#$%^&*!!([?/;$#%^&#!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*@#$%^&*!!([?/;$#%^&#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

_


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling meh, and lonely.


----------



## Kovu

Depression.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Warm, hungry & annoyed


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad and lonely.


----------



## Euripides

Betrayed by the one closest to me in the entire universe


----------



## jim_morrison

Like nobody who pushes me this far and makes me feel this bad can be healthy.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

im terrible lmfao


----------



## Furiosa

Tired, I started a new medication last night and despite sleeping 11 hours, I still feel worn out. But very relaxed, which can't be a bad thing.


----------



## tea111red

bored.


----------



## JustALonelyHeart

@Euripides That is one of the worst feelings.Been there done that.Sorry you're going through that.Betrayal is awful.I do hope you manage to forgive and will feel better someday.Hugs.


----------



## JustALonelyHeart

@ShatteredGlass why terrible? Lol I hope you say "terrible" as in, "a terribly amazing person" 
@Furiosa Give it a day or two, your system needs to get used to the new medicine.But you probably know it alreadly lol anyway I do hope you feel better, as in less tired, soon.


----------



## Furiosa

@JustALonelyHeart Thanks for your kind words  Yeah I'm sure it's just a temporary thing, I know on the last one I had a few weeks of feeling dreadful at the start.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

JustALonelyHeart said:


> @ShatteredGlass why terrible? Lol I hope you say "terrible" as in, "a terribly amazing person"


Heh. Thanks.  When I made that post I was feeling rather guilty because I had just more or less written a fanfiction of sorts about my crush. :0


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Annoyed, stressed, and I have a headache.


----------



## Crisigv

Worried 
Nervous 
Lonely
Pathetic


----------



## catcharay

Concern for my mum. Her attitude to exercise is unwavering, in a very bad way. Oh ppl live healthy lifestyles and yet they get these diseases, it doesn't make a difference. When you age, that's just what happens. She has rheumatoid arthritis and I tell her to exercise but she's unconvinced. What I'll do is print stuff and point it out. She's so stubborn, i'ts frustrating.


----------



## Xenagos

Depressed. I didn't go outside today which usually makes me feel even more down in the dumps. I was going to go out to the library but I woke up late and it's an hour's drive away. :/


----------



## rdrr

Sedimentary


----------



## uziq

bought a lil' wine juice box earlier. started drinking like an hour ago. my alcohol tolerance is super low since i haven't drank in a whie, but it's got me feelin' pretty good atm


----------



## Crisigv

Upset
Confused
Annoyed
*add very tired to the list*

I could use a friend right now. But maybe I should go to sleep instead. I shouldn't worry so much about who don't seem to care about me.


----------



## Decomposed

Lonely
Useless
Bored
Hopeless


----------



## uziq

kawaii


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i really, really deserve criticism, and a healthy amount of it at that, lol.

(this is a hint.)


----------



## Mur

Tired, and I have a long day ahead of me ughhh.


----------



## thomasjune

I feel pretty good today but also a bit tired.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## jsgt

like an a-hole...as usual.


----------



## Overdrive

Hopeless, just wanna explode


----------



## Crisigv

A bit hopeless at the moment.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Feeling poor...cause I am.


----------



## Mur

Disappointed


----------



## SilkyJay

I feel like since I turned 30, there's pheromones releasing from my every pour or something's in the air.

I've genuinely caught more than a few woman giving me that look out and about. One in particular that I kind of been eyeing. It might be more to do with my attitude, and gait, as I've always usually walked with confidence, but it had subsided in the past. but now... and with some new clothes, haircut, and getting my head back on (somewhat) I've just felt better being out. And just trying to own each moment as it comes.

Turning 30 so far isn't turning out to be so terrible. I had such a nice talk with a girl, probably in her early 20's recently at the store that went old days smooth. Buuut I have no idea why I didn't just be blunt and ask her out, as I do really feel like there was a spark. I see here often, but just haven't spoke to her till then, but we always make eye contact. That feeling of successfully exchanging words, and flirting with an attractive woman you've been interested in. ahhh man.

I think on some level hitting 30, I'm slowly letting go of what people think of me in real life and online. Need to keep focusing on the future and on me, as selfish as that sounds, but worrying about othrs gets you nowhere.


----------



## unemployment simulator

have a pretty bad headache which is making me feel slightly sick.


----------



## uziq

slept pretty well last night, which hasn't happened in a long while. have a long work day ahead of me though, so hopefully I can be diligent and do the work I need and not get distracted by vidya games.


----------



## Crisigv

same as always

the days used to be good and the nights bad, but now I either have a good day, or the whole day sucks


----------



## TryingMara

Worn out and my knees hurt.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm ok mentally I just have a toothache, I hope it isn't nothing serious.


----------



## tea111red

well....1. like i am in a prison and 2. like i am just waiting to die.


----------



## Depo

Disappointed. I had a meeting with a friend who fancies me this morning. He's way older than me but he's funny and he talks a lot and I like listening to people. We sat outside the restaurant in the smokers section and even though it wasn't that cold, I was freezing. But I ruined it, I didn't have anything to say (and the cold weather made it worse), and even the things I said were so boring. I wish there was a book or guide that taught me what to say during meetings. Sometimes I just don't know what to say. I was so anxious and nervous at some point, I just wanted to leave, although it wasn't his fault. I'm messed up. :sigh


----------



## ShatteredGlass

god i'm such a clingy little baby lol.... looking up to my perceived superiors with admiring, envious eyes.


----------



## tea111red

TryingMara said:


> Worn out and my knees hurt.


Have you tried taking MSM for knee pain? That stuff seems to help some...


----------



## TryingMara

tea111red said:


> Have you tried taking MSM for knee pain? That stuff seems to help some...


No I haven't, this is the first time I'm dealing with this. I'll have to look into that, thanks for the suggestion.


----------



## tea111red

TryingMara said:


> No I haven't, this is the first time I'm dealing with this. I'll have to look into that, thanks for the suggestion.


No problem....hope it helps you.


----------



## unemployment simulator

exhausted. was woken at the crack of dawn by the neighbours kids upstairs, it was literally like someone jumping up and down and pounding the ceiling. when I eventually wake up properly I decide to get out the flat away from the harassment, go to a few shops in town, come back home kids are still here.... work out for a bit, get showered, pwo nutrition, sit down for a bit, they are still stomping around. ugh, so I spend about 2 hours cleaning and tidying up. after that is done, they still haven't left and are making a load of noise. I gotta find more things to do with my day, I can't be dealing with this ****.


----------



## Mur

Amused, heh....


----------



## TryingMara

Worried, trapped, despondent.


----------



## Wanderlust89

Lonely and depressed once again.


----------



## Cascades

Embarrassed. Unbelievably embarrassed.

Im interstate visiting my parents for a few days without my partner. I have no one to visit while Im here as in friends wise. I havent been anywhere aside from the shops for no longer than 30 minutes. My dad and I were watching Tv this was the convo..

Dad : "So have you heard from x today" (my one friend I havent seen in over 3 years
Me : "No but i wanna go somewhere, its a nice day"
Dad : "But you have no where to go..?"
Me : "Uhh not right now"

Then I looked away and kept looking back neither of us not sure what to say but he was staring at me with a concerned look on his face like he knows I have no friends. 26 years old. No friends. ****ing embarrassing.

Now Im pretending Im going out to see an old work mate (who I never talk to anymore) to make it seem like Im doing something but Im sure he knows im lying. Now I gotta drive around aimlessly for the next few hours and come up with a story when I get back. 

I guess its going to give me motivation to maybe start going to meet ups when Im a little more comfortable. Never been so embarrassed in my life. This is why Im terrified to get married if I ever do. My family will see I have no friends..no bridesmaids..no one to share that special say with me. Im not one of those girls who loves the idea of a wedding day but still...


----------



## Depo

Worried. According to one of my charts this is the 8th day I've been drinking in April. So it's like I drink every 3 days. Does that make me an alcoholic? I'm having some blood tests done next month including liver enzimes. I'm worried the results will indicate a liver disease. I had an abdominal ultrasound done back in october '14 which showed I had fatty liver disease (caused most likely by alcohol, cause I'm skinny and I don't eat too much fat.) And ever since I re-started taking sertraline a week ago I feel so much BETTER, my OCD has calmed down, my nicotine cravings are gone, but my appetite is gone too. But my alcohol cravings are increasing and I don't want to lose weight. It's crazy what these drugs do to you. I'm just thinking it will pass and my body will get used to sertraline once again and I'll eat like I always do. I don't want to be an anorexic.

By the way my height is 5 feet 8 1/2 inches and my weight is 141 lb.


----------



## harrison

Cascades said:


> Embarrassed. Unbelievably embarrassed.
> 
> Im interstate visiting my parents for a few days without my partner. I have no one to visit while Im here as in friends wise. I havent been anywhere aside from the shops for no longer than 30 minutes. My dad and I were watching Tv this was the convo..
> 
> Dad : "So have you heard from x today" (my one friend I havent seen in over 3 years
> Me : "No but i wanna go somewhere, its a nice day"
> Dad : "But you have no where to go..?"
> Me : "Uhh not right now"
> 
> Then I looked away and kept looking back neither of us not sure what to say but he was staring at me with a concerned look on his face like he knows I have no friends. 26 years old. No friends. ****ing embarrassing.
> 
> Now Im pretending Im going out to see an old work mate (who I never talk to anymore) to make it seem like Im doing something but Im sure he knows im lying. Now I gotta drive around aimlessly for the next few hours and come up with a story when I get back.
> 
> I guess its going to give me motivation to maybe start going to meet ups when Im a little more comfortable. Never been so embarrassed in my life. This is why Im terrified to get married if I ever do. My family will see I have no friends..no bridesmaids..no one to share that special say with me. Im not one of those girls who loves the idea of a wedding day but still...


Don't worry - if you're Dad's anything like me he'd probably just be worried about you and not judging you because you don't have many friends at the moment.

Maybe you could go to the shops again or to the pictures?  My wife and I used to spend a lot of time at Shoppingtown on a Sunday afternoon. Plus I'd go there a lot on my own too.

The meetups are a good idea too.


----------



## harrison

Depo said:


> Worried. According to one of my charts this is the 8th day I've been drinking in April. So it's like I drink every 3 days. *Does that make me an alcoholic?* I'm having some blood tests done next month including liver enzimes. I'm worried the results will indicate a liver disease. I had an abdominal ultrasound done back in october '14 which showed I had fatty liver disease (caused most likely by alcohol, cause I'm skinny and I don't eat too much fat.) And ever since I re-started taking sertraline a week ago I feel so much BETTER, my OCD has calmed down, my nicotine cravings are gone, but my appetite is gone too. But my alcohol cravings are increasing and I don't want to lose weight. It's crazy what these drugs do to you. I'm just thinking it will pass and my body will get used to sertraline once again and I'll eat like I always do. I don't want to be an anorexic.
> 
> By the way my height is 5 feet 8 1/2 inches and my weight is 141 lb.


I guess it depends just how much you're drinking on the days you do - but I would have thought you'd be drinking every day if you're an alcoholic.


----------



## Cascades

don said:


> Don't worry - if you're Dad's anything like me he'd probably just be worried about you and not judging you because you don't have many friends at the moment.
> 
> Maybe you could go to the shops again or to the pictures?  My wife and I used to spend a lot of time at Shoppingtown on a Sunday afternoon. Plus I'd go there a lot on my own too.
> 
> The meetups are a good idea too.


Hes too old to be worried about me. I dont want him worrying about me ever thats why its embarrassing. 26 your supposed to be on your feet you know.

Dont think I could go to the movies by myself and I feel self concious so going to the shops is gonna be hard. Ahh well...lucky I like driving eh


----------



## MCHB

Feeling off lately; been having a hard time sleeping the past few weeks.


----------



## DespairSenpai

Terrible, just like every other time I'm awake.


----------



## AllTheSame

Just...numb right now. It's been a really fuqed up, strange day...really no other way to describe it. I miss her, most of all. I've oc been thinking about her all day long. It's just strange how I've also had to deal with a neurotic ex-wife, right on the anniversary of her death. And I think she know it's the anniversary of her death. Pretty sure she does. That's just....ten different kind of fuqed up.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Not good.

1. Brain fog

2. Weird tingling sensation in my right ear. Seems to be a nerve issue or something.

3. Nausea. No apparent reason. Not sick as far as I know. Just randomly nauseated right now

4. Cause of unpleasant indigestion caused by drinking a Coke Zero instead of a Diet Pepsi (Coke Zero always does that to me and I hate it).

5. Keep seeing a mental image of a sweet potato in my head for no apparent reason.


----------



## akari

Like I've lost a loved one. The tears have subsided, though there's still a pain in my throat and chest. It surprises me how intense it gets these days, when things are starting to take shape on the outside.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

dancing to dese fre$h beatz!!1 gawd damnnn dj turn it up up up to 420!!


----------



## Don Aman

I went for a walk to the park and got anxious because there were so many people there. Went to this home made ice pop place and had a near panic attack. Made a bee line for a local bar but fortunately thought better of it. Stopped to get some iced coffee instead and felt crazy self-conscious. I finally found a spot to try and sit and relax in a quiet portion of the park... now I'm just tired and wish I were home.

This feels like one of those days where nothing is going to feel the way I want it to.


----------



## AffinityWing

Fatigued and kind of dull, another week spent unproductive and doing pretty much nothing.


----------



## Kevin001

A user I thought was gone from this place just contacted me. Current feels....


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, depressed, lonely, and tired.


----------



## thomasjune

I had a pretty good weekend so I feel great.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## The Punisher

Nothing lol


----------



## catcharay

Well it was sort of productive.. Is this me? Have distracted myself for so long (sas, denial) it is a sobering/depressing thought. Made my anxiety a highly identifiable feature about me..going on here just supports that :/ Must phase out.


----------



## Prince Adrian

_yessss... some more looking glasses are shattered!!!_








​
_"there's ME and there's everyone else." _

_NO. it's NOT like that. _
got it. what a joke! :lol:haha:haha
​


----------



## Prince Adrian

and I'm really getting the hang of the color pencils + being/focusing in the *present!*
yeah my crews you rock!!!


----------



## Prince Adrian

and there, ironically I feel even _CLOSER_ to my ideals.. like this love obsession no. 1 :heart :blush :grin2:
unlike when I focused on the black hole of chasing the 'perfect' future.


----------



## JustALonelyHeart

It's raining today which means I won't be able to go out today so I can spend time in nature away from the ***** that caused me this anxiety I'm feeling today...It's like, I felt fine then all of a sudden I was reminded of everything I went through and all that it led to my social anxiety and I just feel like...
I wanna die.Honestly, today I feel like I wanna die.I hate her, I hate what she's done to me, I hate that I can't get away from her, I hate that she's still doing things.And I know while she's closeby, I will never be able to gather my strength and put my life on track.If I can't do that, I would rather die.


----------



## Prince Adrian

@*JustALonelyHeart*  here's a coffee.








​
enjoy the rainy day. 
















​


----------



## JustALonelyHeart

@Prince Adrian Coffee goes well with rainy days...Thank you.


----------



## Sharikov

Very tired, i've slept 4 hours tonight...


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Somewhat tired & vaguely nervous. I had my nap interrupted in anticipation of going out for dinner, for the second night in a row, no less. Minutes after I got up and got ready, it was cancelled in favor of pizza and my mom bringing home some guy I've yet to meet. My mom and sister are on their way to pick him out now. Kind of debating whether I should hang around the lounge room, doing random **** on my smartphone, or remaining in my bedroom with my large laptop that I sort of prefer people not to see. A smartphone is more subtle and unanimous with my teenager/young adult identity, less likely to elicit anxiety inducing comments from this guy. If I stay in my room, there's a chance that my mom might awkwardly drag me out, forcing out a 'hello' to this stranger. If I head to the lounge room, a meeting with him is guaranteed, more or less.


----------



## Michael1983

Annoyed at myself for finding it hard to get out of the house. It's been four days now and my head feels like a bag of rocks .


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like a hopeless, pathetic piece of garbage. And I feel bad that I keep complaining about it here.


----------



## unemployment simulator

in pain again. and cold.


----------



## catcharay

Mixed. Going home, but don't want to be a bad influence. Feel like I need back to get in a productive head space..been lounging, floating around.


----------



## Depo

Exhausted, after getting drunk 3 days in a row my body feels awful. The worst part is that I want a drink right now, with ice. :sigh


----------



## Crisigv

I'm lonely. A hug and a kiss would be wonderful right now.


----------



## uziq

meh


----------



## uziq

I've yearned for love for so long but am slowly coming to realize that I can't have this feeling reciprocated with anyone I talk to.


----------



## Xenagos

Very depressed and empty. I was feeling so great this morning... Don't know when it changed but just realizing how my mood switched so fast is frightening. :sigh


----------



## Sharikov

I feel so sick...

Thank you spring, thank you so much, i love you


----------



## AllTheSame

Anxious as ***, Skyping with my crush right now.....


ffs.....


----------



## AllTheSame

God why the *** do we have to live so far apart. I don't understand....put two people that are like soul mates, put two people that totally "get" each other, two people that could literally talk about _*anything*_ to each other for hours....and oh....lessee...let's put them over 1,000 miles apart from each other....

Ffs. Are you ****** serious? Are you kidding me?


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Weird.... I was feeling like semi-suicidal trash last night. Far from the worst I've ever felt, but still, I felt like pure **** last night. Now, however? I feel pretty damn good lol. Actually semi-motivated to do some study. I have a legal test tomorrow that I haven't exactly done adequate study for....... Who knows!! I might actually get some study done for once.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

im pretty good. but my tongue is sore. I have one of hose little annoying canker sores. It'll go away in a few days but i've had it for a few already, and i hate those things.


----------



## Prince Adrian

inspired (this time also *instinctively*) when I saw something from art subforum but theeeeeeen.. *CRASHED* again because of _@#$%^&*;[/#*_ resurfacing a fatal reason why I _HATE_ 90% 'fellow' artists!!!!

_@#$%^&*;[__&__%^&*;[/#*__^#$%^[/#**;[/#*@__*;[/#*__@#$%^&*;__[/#*@#$[/#*[/#*__@#$%__@#$%^^&*;__[/#*@#$%/#*@/#*@#$*;__*;#&*;@#@#$%^&__*__@__&__%^&*;__$%^&__*__$%^&$%^__^&*;__*;/#*@#$%^&*;[/#__*;[/#*@#$%^&#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_


----------



## stewartmays1

feel like i want to get positive about my crappy life


----------



## Mur

pretty damn good


----------



## Crisigv

Tired and a little sad, as usual. I think I spent 11 hours in the mall today. My feet are killing.


----------



## AllTheSame

Excited about the two shows I'm gonna see tomorrow (Atlas Genius). Taking my son to both. He's a little heartbroken about having to miss school but somehow I think he'll get over it. Should be awesome. I'm a little anxious. It's been a long time since I've been to a live show, I used to go to a festival here in Houston every year but haven't been in a while. Going to be packed, sold out. Should be fun. Thank God for Gabapentin lol, gonna be taking that for sure.


----------



## catcharay

Good. Dreaded phone call done for work placement (freak out later). Plant shopping next week to block neighbours. Feeling productive.


----------



## Ichimatsu

like a horrible person to be honest


----------



## Sharikov

Today like in this gif


----------



## Dark Jewel

Completely horrible.


----------



## McFly

Dusty.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

garbage (-:

somehow i feel as if i am due for a 20 minute long sobbing session lol. it's all welling up and it's going to come out eventually. just not in the way that i want it to.


----------



## PsyKat

Fantastic, surprisingly! <3 

^__^


----------



## Kevin001

Um, I'm ok. I have my derm appointment in a few hrs. A little nervous that he will say something about my old SH scars. Hopefully he can just treat my current issues and not say anything.


----------



## herk

being pulled in different directions mentally, not sure which mindset to act on/embrace more. i need to work on accepting myself the way i am - how i look, my issues, my personality, where i'm at in life. but i also want to change a lot of things, and improve in a lot of ways. i just keep comparing myself to others, and end up feeling bad about myself. gotta walk the fine line between self love/acceptance, and self improvement


----------



## Mur

Alright, my anxiety has been acting up more than usual today.


----------



## stewartmays1

very up and down tho the last few days has been ok


----------



## AllTheSame

Incredible. Awesome. My son and I went to see Atlas Genius this morning (I won tickets last week lol). There were a total of 18 people there, including us. They weren't lying when they said it was gonna be a private, intimate performance. My son and I were front row, right next to the amps  We were literally sitting five feet from Keith Jeffrey. Got to meet him and Michael, shook hands, talked for a minute. Wow. This just blew me and my son away. We're going to remember this forever. We got album artwork signed by both of them. We've got tickets to see them _*again*_ tonight, at the House of Blues, about to head that way. Will post pics later, I got some pretty good ones (and video).

I've gotten through all this despite having pretty bad anxiety this morning. Once I got seated and the show started I was actually fine. The band members are just awesome. Very down-to-earth. Very friendly, and awesome sense of humor. I think this is something my son is always going to remember. Pretty awesome experience for a 13 year old kid.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad. It looks like I'm not getting the job. The other lady is getting the final interview. They seem to want someone who has manager experience. Oh well, I'm useless and pathetic, not sure what I was thinking.


----------



## catcharay

Why did I have to get the mars bar cheese cake and a large steak tomato pie. Ugh.


----------



## Xenagos

Emotionally drained. I live with two narcissists: one who never sees fault in herself and the other has anger issues, lovely combo don't you think? They've been at it all day since 6 am. The best part is when they both gang up on me when I try to calm down the situation, and proceed to demean me in anyway possible. I need to get out of this f**king place.


----------



## TryingMara

Boring and unattractive.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, sad, lonely, annoyed, boring, and tired.


----------



## Depo

Tipsy, listening to the radio, I need booze as a car needs fuel. I wasn't meant to drink tonight, but I got the itch after getting out of work. I feel guilty but happy at the same time. Two beers more and I'll sleep like a baby. :eyes


----------



## Andras96

Abandoned.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

so anxious that i might die (^:

immense stress is good (^:


----------



## uziq

feeling okay atm


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Vaguely regretful and very anxious. The ever familiar feeling of internal anguish resides in my chest. My abdomen remains tense. Everything is going right through me. I'd love this feeling to stop thanks.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Bitter nostalgia resulting from listening to Hello Kitty by Avril Lavigne, a song that is associated with a time in my life where I was so desperate for friends that I subjected myself to the torture of emotional manipulation tactics in order for a slice of that oh-so-sweet 'n sour friendship pie, longing for the lovely sweetness and receiving mostly a perpetual bitter aftertaste. K-k-kawaii.

I feel like I'm going through something similar right now. Once again, I'm finding a, however vague, morbid sense of enjoyment from subjecting myself to the suffering I'm enduring as of late. Someone chuck a cupcake at me. Send me away from this hazy dream, and back into the confines of reality.


----------



## lonerroom

I don't know, maybe slergolpi but sometimes it is more like grenloshia. Its 1969, Judy and Peter don't even exist yet..


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

I'm trying to not get my hopes up too much. I had two interviews today. I think I did well at them (thanks to lovely Klonopin keeping me calm), but I'm still worried that I didn't get either of them. (Pleasepleaseplease let me get a call)


----------



## Depo

Worried. For some reason my benzos are not working today. I hope a little booze calms me down. :hide


----------



## Crisigv

as usual, a worthless piece of garbage


----------



## Aj775

Crisigv said:


> as usual, a worthless piece of garbage


You said it


----------



## Crisigv

Aj775 said:


> You said it


as in you too, or that I am a worthless piece of garbage?

how many times do you need to be banned to get the message?


----------



## tehuti88

Crisigv said:


> .


:squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

tehuti88 said:


> :squeeze


Thanks hun 

Thankfully I'm not sensitive enough to let little buggers like that bother me.


----------



## J2754

Crisigv said:


> Aj775 said:
> 
> 
> 
> You said it
> 
> 
> 
> as in you too, or that I am a worthless piece of garbage?
> 
> how many times do you need to be banned to get the message?
Click to expand...

lmao there are millions of us here


----------



## Crisigv

J2754 said:


> lmao there are millions of us here


ma gawd, it's an invasion


----------



## tehuti88

J2754 said:


> lmao there are millions of us here


Bye sweetie, I know there's only one of you. :kiss:


----------



## catcharay

Yay I did stuff out the comfort zone and I have finished the first challenge, now onto the next - actual working (without pay ) It feels good that I'm approaching it differently. However my end motivation is to get money..for certain things, and these things are for vanity..specifically orthodontics. It's obviously an unhealthy motivation.


----------



## uziq

I managed to get myself out of debt. That was all that was on my mind for a while because it seemed insurmountable, but now every other problem intrinsic to my personality (like how boring I am) has become magnified. One worry to the next. I feel like I'm just gonna be sad or anxious no matter what.


----------



## Mur

Calm, that cigar really hit the spot.


----------



## Grillo89

optimistic


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling happy to have some alone time. My daughter's family therapy went well. Pretty intense three hour session with no breaks allowed. I've been in a lot of group therapies and they can be very different depending on the group leader. This one has a whole lot of mandatory participation. I was anxious as hell (way more than my daughter was) but I got through it alright.

A three hour non stop therapy session is just f-ing ridiculous though. I've been inpatient before, several times, and never once had a session that lasted that long without a break, ffs. That's difficult for teenagers (13-17) to do.


----------



## Depo

BAAAADDD.... Ugh, I ran out of booze. And I have a date tomorrow morning. I guess I'll just take my benzos and go to sleep. This guy forgave me cause I was drinking last night and I woke up late today, so I canceled our date today. But he forgave me and he wantes to see me tomorrow. Although I drank tonight too, I'll go to bed early, so I'll meet him tomorrow. He'll offer me coffee and cigarettes (although I hate coffee and cigarettes), and I'll gladly take them. I just wish he just gave me more liqour or at least a beer. Ugh,


----------



## Crisigv

I feel lonely. I should just go to bed.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired, confused, excited, happy, worried, and hopeful all at once.


----------



## KelsKels

Happy.. I saw a friend today. Normally I don't say I have friends.. but I think she cares about seeing me. Its nice. I wasn't going to see her, I almost flaked because I didn't feel up to it. I wanted to mope alone instead.. but I'm glad I forced myself to do it. I feel accomplished. I know its ridiculous.. it shouldn't be such a big deal, but it is to me. Fighting through insecurities and depression to do simple things.. thats what my life is right now. A battle with myself. Dramatic.. I know.


----------



## harrison

I think I'm going to be okay. I feel a lot better tonight - I had a scare today, I locked myself out of my room and had to borrow someone's phone so I could get them to come and let me in. I started shaking and got myself into a real panic for a little while there, it was horrible. But a nice guy that also lives here kept me company until they came and just chatted to me. I found out he's an illustrator and likes an artist I know a little bit - I think I'll give him a poster I have of his once I get it signed - I have a number of them and he was very nice to me.


----------



## lonerroom

I feel like I don't matter what so ever, I wish just once I could feel like I matter..............


----------



## lonerroom

AllTheSame said:


> Feeling happy to have some alone time. My daughter's family therapy went well. Pretty intense three hour session with no breaks allowed. I've been in a lot of group therapies and they can be very different depending on the group leader. This one has a whole lot of mandatory participation. I was anxious as hell (way more than my daughter was) but I got through it alright.
> 
> A three hour non stop therapy session is just f-ing ridiculous though. I've been inpatient before, several times, and never once had a session that lasted that long without a break, ffs. That's difficult for teenagers (13-17) to do.


How did they end up having a 3 hour session? I have a therapist and I only see her once a week for only 50 minutes, I want longer sessions because 50 minutes once a week does not seem to be enough...


----------



## Sharikov

Anxious, today's afternoon and evening i have too many things to do


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Is the troll still around? I kinda hope I get roasted by 'em, lol. I find morbid enjoyment in that kind of thing; especially the part where I roast them back. ^_^


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i should die (((((


----------



## Lonelyguy111

Feeling like a helpless, worthless, forgotten pile of horse dung.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

A bit choked up. I lost another online friend. :/ I felt terrible about it for about 1 minute before the inevitable apathy worked its way back into my system. This friend wasn't particularly important to me; our conversations mainly consisted of barely-above-small-talk content about school, lol, though I feel bad that I basically destroyed what 'friendship' there was there.

I have realized something from this, though. Possibly something I should have realized earlier - though let's face it, there's no way to avoid the reality of that.

I need to stop talking about how I feel so much. Conversations about my unstable emotional state are inevitably unstable because I'm stubborn and unwilling to take suggestions that interfere with my feelings of relative safety and comfort; suggestions that require me to face my fears - something I am not willing to do, for the most part.

It's vaguely comforting to realize that I'm fully capable of talking about other things, simply avoiding the topic of emotions and anxiety when it arises. I realize now that conversations like that are toxic and inevitably will cause you to lose friends in the long run. I can relay that information to people in the future.


----------



## Prince Adrian

_ahahahahahahaaaa..!!_ and how could they sound so _*OLD*_ already??! speaking like twice their age (in negative context)!! thank goodness I'm not one of them. and from now on I purposefully *DECIDE* *NOT* to be among them, NEVER get dragged away by those flocks!!
let's stay faithful to my new map! :grin2:​


----------



## Prince Adrian

but hmm.. okay, I got it (_cognitively_ - important!). people's experiences are different. 0:laugh:


----------



## Ladysoul

Very Lucky to have the man that i have


----------



## AllTheSame

@*lonerroom* I don't know, that's just how long they've determined the group should be lol, for everyone. She's in a pretty intensive outpatient therapy program. She has therapy sessions Mon - Fri. Regular family therapy on Wednesdays that's three hours long and family therapy on Thursdays, psychodrama that's three hours long. Personally I think that's way too long. I did alright but there were people in the group last night that were really getting restless only half way through it.

Good luck with your therapy. A lot of people with SA (some I've talked to, anyway) are too anxious or just refuse to be in therapy.


----------



## The Sleeping Dragon

numb


----------



## Crisigv

Haven't gotten out of bed yet, and I'm already miserable.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm feeling pretty good right now. Just did some grocery shopping, killed my workout, and I'm super pumped for my interview later.


----------



## lonerroom

AllTheSame said:


> @*lonerroom* I don't know, that's just how long they've determined the group should be lol, for everyone. She's in a pretty intensive outpatient therapy program. She has therapy sessions Mon - Fri. Regular family therapy on Wednesdays that's three hours long and family therapy on Thursdays, psychodrama that's three hours long. Personally I think that's way too long. I did alright but there were people in the group last night that were really getting restless only half way through it.
> 
> Good luck with your therapy. A lot of people with SA (some I've talked to, anyway) are too anxious or just refuse to be in therapy.


I was forced into group therapy when I was 13 while I was in child protective services custody while in a group home, that kind of group therapy was horrible, some of the kids in that place would go into fits of rage


----------



## Overdrive

Feeling anxious today, drinking beers until anxiety goes away.


----------



## AllTheSame

@*lonerroom* I'm really sorry to hear that, that you had to go through cps, and be in a group home  I'm hoping you got some real help while you were there. If not, I'm hoping you're getting any help you need now. I wish nothing but the best for you, man. I think sometimes going through hell makes us stronger. I think, for myself, being involuntarily committed to a psychiatric hospital for seven and a half months when I was 16 years old....I think in some ways going through that made me a much stronger person. I was dragged away from my friends and put into a very structured environment. I went from being a 16 year old on drugs and drinking, skipping school to being thrown into a hospital, a private school on-site, and therapy that sometimes went from 7:00am to 10:00pm. I still have nightmares about that place, I still think about it but I think back to it sometimes and I think if I survived that I can survive anything. The staff was (imo) kind of abusive sometimes and it was not always about helping everyone find a path to recover and getting well...it was a lot of the time all about $$$. Maybe sometimes what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Anyway my daughter really wants to be in therapy...she loves the groups, and from what I saw last night most of the kids there do. They like playing the games we played and talking to each other, and it wouldn't surprise me if a few of them were friends outside the group (even though that's not allowed). High school can seem like a really hostile place, esp if you have anxiety. This is a very safe place for the kids to interact and be themselves and talk to each other. Parents are there oc and we're very much a part of it....I learned a lot last night about how I'm interacting with my daughter and how what I say and what I do teaches her about me, specifically about rules and boundaries and how I enforce those (or don't) let's her know what she can get away with and what she can't. And what that says about my integrity and how important it is that I actually do what I say. (not just me, it's an exercise, something we all talked about last night). But the focus, of course is on the kids...it's all about them, and so far they all seem to really like it. It's just a very long session.


----------



## lonerroom

AllTheSame said:


> @*lonerroom* I'm really sorry to hear that, that you had to go through cps, and be in a group home  I'm hoping you got some real help while you were there. If not, I'm hoping you're getting any help you need now. I wish nothing but the best for you, man. I think sometimes going through hell makes us stronger. I think, for myself, being involuntarily committed to a psychiatric hospital for seven and a half months when I was 16 years old....I think in some ways going through that made me a much stronger person. I was dragged away from my friends and put into a very structured environment. I went from being a 16 year old on drugs and drinking, skipping school to being thrown into a hospital, a private school on-site, and therapy that sometimes went from 7:00am to 10:00pm. I still have nightmares about that place, I still think about it but I think back to it sometimes and I think if I survived that I can survive anything. The staff was (imo) kind of abusive sometimes and it was not always about helping everyone find a path to recover and getting well...it was a lot of the time all about $$$. Maybe sometimes what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
> 
> Anyway my daughter really wants to be in therapy...she loves the groups, and from what I saw last night most of the kids there do. They like playing the games we played and talking to each other, and it wouldn't surprise me if a few of them were friends outside the group (even though that's not allowed). High school can seem like a really hostile place, esp if you have anxiety. This is a very safe place for the kids to interact and be themselves and talk to each other. Parents are there oc and we're very much a part of it....I learned a lot last night about how I'm interacting with my daughter and how what I say and what I do teaches her about me, specifically about rules and boundaries and how I enforce those (or don't) let's her know what she can get away with and what she can't. And what that says about my integrity and how important it is that I actually do what I say. (not just me, it's an exercise, something we all talked about last night). But the focus, of course is on the kids...it's all about them, and so far they all seem to really like it. It's just a very long session.


The group home was pretty horrible but that was not the first time I was around traumatic things. From kindergarten to 2nd grade I was put in a special school because I was quiet and drew a lot of pictures and they thought I was autistic but they put me in a school for kids with violent behavioral problems and that particular school went from kindergarten all the way up to the last year of high school, and on my school bus I rode with the high school students, and I witnessed fights and things all the time and I was scared and thought one day I would get caught in the middle of one of their fights because when they fought on the school bus they went all over the place, there was also a room called the "support room" where students went when they got punished, and I saw a high school boy get restrained by 2 staff/teachers and he was screaming hysterical over and over, I was 6 when I saw that happen, I was 6 or 7 when my school bus going home started picking up students from a different school, and that school had severly mentally challenged teenagers and one boy who was maybe 17 or older had to always be restrained to his bus seat, every week my bus would pick them up including that boy, and that boy would always bang his head really hard against the window over and over and sometimes his arm got free and then he would punch himself over and over in the head, sometimes his face was covered in blood and it scared me, and his eyes were always always closed, but he was not sleeping, he looked like a zombie.

Strangely I never had nightmares about that school but I still have nightmares about the group home. The group home was like a jail because in that place kids were always treated like criminals, I was taken away because my father was neglectful and I missed lots and lots of school in 7th and 8th grade, in the group home we were not allowed to do anything fun, we always had to do chores all day long, scrubbing toilets, floors windows, etc, then group therapy then meals with terrible food. And supervised medication time, I was 13 and was a prepubescent, so I worried that taking meds would affect me, they forced me to take zoloft, sometimes I would hide the pill under my tongue and spit it out when the mouth checker was not checking the whole mouth. At that time I never took pills before and I was scared of them so I would chew the pills and they tasted so horrible. Sometimes I have nightmares I am in that group home, it was like being in jail. 
You are right about bad experiences making us stronger, they also make us wiser.

It sounds like your daughter is in a really good group, that sounds like the kind of therapy group I would like to be in, I was looking for social anxiety support groups in my city but I can't find any so far, I did find a depression support group which I went to a few times but everyone in the group was over 40 and I am in my 20's, they did not really like me very much.


----------



## Crisigv

lonely and invisible


----------



## 8888

Not that anxious today! But was depressed before. Doing okay now.


----------



## Mur

Inquisitive


----------



## uziq

being "okay" looking just doesn't cut it when you have as many shortcomings as I do


----------



## ShatteredGlass

feel like i'd like to take a nap, though i stayed in bed for 14 hours today. -_-


----------



## Espresso katt

I can't explain this feeling...it's weird. You know that feeling you get, when you think of what you are going to do tomorrow, in a week or in a few minutes..like you look forward to doing something even if it's something trivial? Well, i feel like that completely disappeared. I don't know like numbness, apathy, like the purpose of everything ceased to exist. It's so weird, only time i've felt this way before was when I got laid off of my job but, now it just showed out of nowhere and it sucks.


----------



## Prince Adrian

:lol:rofl:roflanother stupid remark! someone give her a mirror please!! 
but this fish.. no, garbage can is both boring & amusing!
​


----------



## uziq

it's 8 am and I haven't slept yet


----------



## Lonelyguy111

*Wretched, Scared, Lonely, Miserable, Hopeless, and Rejected*

*Wretched and terrible. :afr:frown2::eyes:flush:rain:doh*
Saturday morning, alone as usual.
A thousand things that need to be done with no help.

Have to meet with someone about being the treasurer for my church - they made me the treasurer since I studied finance in college and it will be a nightmare. I was already elected and I am stuck.

Why did I do that? People will be screaming about the money all the time. I should have stayed a biology major like how I started. Money gets people angry, furious, threatening, and even murderous. I hate money. I will get the blame for everything. Working with animals is fun and wonderful, working with people and their money is a nightmare from hell. :O


----------



## Maverick34

Crisigv said:


> I'm sad. It looks like I'm not getting the job. The other lady is getting the final interview. They seem to want someone who has manager experience. Oh well, I'm useless and pathetic, not sure what I was thinking.


Sorry for that :serious: :hug


----------



## Euripides

The most clever idea to see things through since the great Chamberlain heads-up-assery of 1938. I know what I must do now.

booze, benzos, a pair of knickers turned haberdashery , and a couple of pencils! fling me towards that morning sun.

cause.
****


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Dunno. Am I confused? No, not really. Am I angry? Nah. Good question.


----------



## Wanderlust89

Empty, depressed, impatient and restless. My days off went by way too quickly. I went to 3 places just awhile ago because I was so damn bored.

Now that inventory day is over, hopefully the managers will be more willing to let people use their PTOs. I definitely want to take advantage of that before I quit.


----------



## Night Soul

Very depressed


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

I'm cleaning my apartment high and low because it's going to be shown to a prospective tenant on Tuesday, so I feel somewhat productive.

Trying to be a little hopeful with my upcoming interviews, even though it's hard to feel that way at this point. I figured I would only be unemployed for a few weeks, a month or two at most, and it's been almost 4 months now...

Need to not think about my situation, otherwise I'll get really angry and resentful.


----------



## catcharay

Nervous. So nervous. But it's normal to be. Just relax.


----------



## catcharay

meepie said:


> I feel free. I feel like I can move on now from what holds me down.


What is your secret?


----------



## PolkaTheSalsa

Ignored and lonely  I know my friend is busy with work and school but my anxiety is like "she hasn't texted you in a while because she hates you!" UGH


----------



## rdrr

Alright. Just cooked myself some dinner that turned out better than I expected.


----------



## Prince Adrian




----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel pretty good altho if i could touch type at something like 80 wp'm, id feel even better LOL. ... its not easy thing to learn, but it would increase my productivity.


----------



## Sharikov

Alone


----------



## Dark Jewel

Awful.


----------



## funnynihilist

Lonely


----------



## TryingMara

Little sad. Today was such a great day, but convos the last few hours have brought the mood down. It's telling when your own friends don't believe in you.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel so insignificant. I feel like I'm getting so old, yet time is frozen. It's weird.


----------



## uziq

tired, my sleep schedule has been so weird lately


----------



## Prince Adrian

*1.*









































​


----------



## Prince Adrian

​


----------



## Prince Adrian

*2.*










..is not mutual suppression but MUTUAL *RESPECT*.








​


----------



## Sharikov

So depressed...


----------



## Prince Adrian

○








​


----------



## ShatteredGlass

unimpressed


----------



## Prince Adrian

​
and.. another significant fog is dissipating!

but part of me don't want to know the truth!!
_what if it's SCARY?! what if it's BITTER??! WHAT IF THE SITUATION IS WORSE & MORE URGENT THAN I THOUGHT?!?!!?_

















​


----------



## Prince Adrian

wait.. but thank goodness I've got this!:










_I AM NOT BROKEN._


----------



## Prince Adrian

Prince Adrian said:


> Temperance is not mutual suppression but MUTUAL *RESPECT*.​


 btw.. maybe not precisely so.
no, they don't need to accept each other. instead it's the *MASTER*'s work.
when the Master genuinely embraces & loves each, that's when collisions harmonize themselves..


----------



## Prince Adrian




----------



## Prince Adrian

_remember to focus on the SIGNIFIED, not the signifier._
heck maybe not even that, just the truest truth you can grasp.


----------



## Kevin001

I feel great, so ready to just experience life. The good and bad.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Unhappy.


----------



## SwerveMcNerve

Hateful. It's all I feel lately. I try to avoid sadness because it makes me feel weak.


----------



## Kevin001

SamanthaStrange said:


> Unhappy.


Don't be, cheer up .


----------



## Prince Adrian

let's try something. _can you go on with your day tomorrow without paranoia? just drop a load of them for a while?_
because despite all the unpredictable hurts & stabs that indeed had happened before and I definitely respect my instincts to protect me from any of those in the future, still many times 80% things I dreaded didn't happen.
so while I'll be aware of the intense fears I might be also aware of the reality that the water naturally holds me up not sucks me down.

_god I'm just a little kid wanting some caaaakes!! _please have mercy!
(..and also a captain in the need of catching big fish & discovering new continents! so.. hmh..)
​


----------



## 3677

I'm a nervous wreck. I just put in for college. Hope I get accepted.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry and restless


----------



## thomasjune

Tired and stressed out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## catcharay

meepie said:


> Well, I'm not moving on from eveyrthing, just my relationship with my parents. It's been so much better that I am appreciating them. They have been slowly improving.


Oh, that's a very good improvement. It's funny, things have improved with my mum too. Everyone has a good and bad side, I find that helps as well.


----------



## uziq

stupid


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like the miserable, pathetic loser that I am.


----------



## dusknoir99

Who the heck am i, even?


----------



## Mr. Wavey

Feeling neutral ATM because I'm on vacation in India but I'm dreading returning home. 

First with regard to the vacation it hasn't exactly been ideal. I traveled here with my parents and sister. My sister will blow up into a ball of rage at the slightest pretense of a perceived slight. She is 27 hrs old and has her own issues with anxiety (I'm 33 btw). We haven't done any real relaxing - most of the "fun" activities were relegated to site seeing which required waking up really early and hitting the road to visit different spots (for those who know India we did our traveling in Goa). While Goa is a state with beach resorts but we did little relaxing on the beaches. 

The second leg of our trip has been spent with respect to my cousins wedding. My cousin is 25 years old. While I'm happy to see her get married there was a lot of time spent on religious and cultural rituals (we're Hindu) which required meeting and greeting with numerous distant relatives (not comfortable for someone with SA). Also we were waking up early and sleeping late due to our involvement in the wedding activities. Hanging over me the whole time was a deep sense of shame that I'm not married even though everyone else in my age group (except my sister) is and many have kids. I was consistently reminded of this fact by my Indian relatives and I even heard my parents express disappointment in the fact that my sister and I have not gotten married or bore them grand children. 

My SA has prevented me from having any romantic relationships or even the ability to talk to or look at girls I'm attracted to. Most of my relatives got hitched through arranged marriages (or some variation) and the thought of that scares me. 

The rest of the trip has been fairly boring. I'm kind of limited to my uncles apt in Mumbai because I don't know the area or language. My downtime is spent surfing the Internet which sadly is my greatest hobby these days and has been since my late teen years. few bright spots have been the food and seeing some relatives I've missed or haven't seen yet like my cute 2 yr old nephew

I'm terribly nervous about returning home mainly due to work. I work in the public sector as a government lawyer handling intense litigation of employment cases. The job is extremely stressful, and while I like aspects of it at this point the cons of the job outweigh the pros by far. Due to my vacation Ive been away 2 and 1/2 weeks missing approximately 12 days of work. I can't check my emails from here and haven't been in tune with what's going on in my office. I have a fear that some impending disaster(s) is waiting foe me when I return. 

I don't like how stressful my job is and I feel completely inadequate at it. It's sad my family and relatives have expressed such pride in what I'm doing as a lawyer but Im so scared that I'm so bad at what I'd do I'll get fired and let everyone down. I feel like a complete fraud. I thought confronting my anxiety by taking on big tasks would help me, but now I want to crawl under a desk and work in the least stressful environment possible.


----------



## Crisigv

Xenagos said:


> I'm in tears right now. My hometown is on fire, the city has been evacuated, my parents' home is gone, and I don't know where they evacuated too. Everything we had up there was just destroyed.


You live in Fort McMurray? I'm so sorry, I feel so awful for everyone there. I can't even imagine what everyone there is feeling and what you will all do.


----------



## Prince Adrian

Prince Adrian said:


> let's try something. _can you go on with your day tomorrow without paranoia? just drop a load of them for a while?_
> because despite all the unpredictable hurts & stabs that indeed had happened before and I definitely respect my instincts to protect me from any of those in the future, still many times 80% things I dreaded didn't happen.
> so while I'll be aware of the intense fears I might be also aware of the reality that the water naturally holds me up not sucks me down.​


discarding 60% paranoia SUCCESS!!


----------



## Prince Adrian

​


----------



## Prince Adrian

​


----------



## TheUrbanDepressive

Everything feels so surreal for me right now. A job practically fell into my lap today, and I didn't even have to interview for it.


----------



## uziq

not good


----------



## Prince Adrian

​


----------



## Prince Adrian

​


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Paranoid and distorted..... as if I'm looking at myself via my reflection in rippling water.


----------



## uziq

I'm just now realizing that my avoidance of forming relationships is from a fear of rejection.


----------



## Prince Adrian

just remembered, _and another LUCK_ just few hours ago despite the initial setbacks today (heeyy.. even one 'setback' actually became another luck _*tempering*_ the other setbacks!)!! pile it up with the other LOTS of luck I've got just for this case! thank goodness 100x!! :laugh:
I wish I had a cake to celebrate! just one slice of caaake..!








​


----------



## IHaveProblems

This is me all day everyday


----------



## IHaveProblems




----------



## Cyclonic

Forgotten, abandoned, irrelevant


----------



## Brroken

I'm going to apologize ahead of time. I always keep to myself and I don't have anyone in my life to have this conversation with that wouldn't look at me in a weird way or think I'm an idiot or any combination of bad thoughts towards me. I don't expect anyone to respond, this is more of just a vent for me because I'm going through a bad overthinking self degrading thought process for right now. And if you do read this I apologize if it's really long. 

I haven't posted anything since the first time I joined and I'm in a much better place. The paranoia I had is much less severe (although I still have thoughts in the back of my mind). I just finished my first year back at college going for Social Work. I'm getting my life back together. I was honestly starting to feel good about myself again, but I've hit a snag in my thinking. I mean my thoughts about life have changed drastically over the past year. And how I feel is hypocritical to how I live. I just look at everything on the universal scale, which to any one person is in fathomable, and when looking at that and thinking about the things that happen around the world and in every day life and it just has no meaning to me any more. Now I'm going into social because I want to be a therapist in a hospital. I know that psych wards are given a bad connotation, especially as far as they're portrayed in Hollywood. But even if people have a mental illness that doesn't mean they shouldn't be left to be in a state of anguish. I have been in the hospital for drug use, but I was completely out of touch with reality due to a bad acid trip. It was horrifying, and it's been 2 years since it happened and while I've made progress, I've still got work to do. But I want to be able to help people that are lost, broken, I want to help them get to a place where they feel good about themselves no matter what they decide to do. And while I want to do this and make the world better for even just a few people, I still feel that what I'm doing with my life is fake and worth nothing. I mean, I'm at odds with myself. Another thing is that I'm going into a field that deals with people every day, and to be honest I don't really like people any more. It's mainly a trust issue, I got hurt really bad by people I thought were my friends, and I am terrified of making that mistake again. Another thing is I just don't have the same interests as a lot of people that are around me. I live in a backwoods area, so if I do some how happen to have a conversation with someone, I have to painfully awkward my way through a conversation. And even any where I go it seems like I can never have a conversation with someone out of fear of being a fool again. And yet, I'm feeling so lonely. I have things I want to talk about, like the latest dragonball super episode, why there is no universal truth (philosophically not scientifically). Even if I were to have a conversation with someone about these things I'm terrified of being called a fool or mocked or anything. Things were getting better but all of a sudden I just started feeling like even though I'm getting better, I will always be a weak pathetic failure. I'll never be anything other than myself, no one will ever tolerate me in life. I just wish I could find someone who I can feel comfortable around again. I'm sure I have more on my mind but I've already gone on long enough. Thanks for listening


----------



## Hikin

It's raining and it's beautiful as usual ! Love me some rain.


----------



## 3677




----------



## 3677




----------



## JohnDoe26

I feel like the painting.


----------



## LostinReverie

Like ****. I think it's hormonal. I blame my adrenal glands.


----------



## Prince Adrian

​


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Jaded.


----------



## AFoundLady

I blame my female hormones. Feeling less emotional, but suffering from really bad cramps. Sigh. It's hard being a female every month.


----------



## Oley

Hopeful


----------



## Sharikov

Sick again, i'm exhausted of this allergy


----------



## tea111red

i just hate living.


----------



## twistix

I'm conflicted. I want to chat but there are a couple problems. I don't have anyone to chat with and I should be sleeping now since I have things to do in the morning.

Going to end up unable to sleep due to some strange conversation with myself most likely.


----------



## Raulz

I felt good earlier but now feel like crap because I've been procrastinating to do on my Java projects.


----------



## Prince Adrian

_and this time I SWEAR *NO ONE'S GOING TO STEAL THIS KID ANYMORE!!!*_​_
no one's going to extinguish her fire ever again!!
I'll be both her shield and this time, SWORD!!! I'll do whatever it takes to protect and keep her SPIRIT ALIVE & THRIVE!!

yes, WHATEVER it takes._
​









Prince Adrian said:


> oh. my. god. another heavenly lightning struck me confirming that this feeling is UNDOUBTEDLY priceless!! even my wolves agree with it, in fact this might be one of the diamonds the wolves have been PROTECTING all the time!
> 
> it's moment like this that (has) made me want to promise to myself:
> _*I'LL ALWAYS KEEP YOU WITH ME NO MATTER WHAT
> I'LL FOREVER HOLD ONTO YOU
> I'LL EVER TREASURE YOU
> I'LL DEFEND YOU WITH ALL MY LIFE*_
> 
> that would be the (WOLF) KNIGHT'S CREED
> 
> because I _KNOW_ this is MUCH MORE PRECIOUS than those prestige
> WAY MORE VALUABLE than those masks
> FAR BEYOND THE PRICE OF GOLDS and everything comes & goes
> *FAR SURPASSING ALL TROPHIES you can compete yourself with against your peers
> *
> this is
> f r e e d o m . .


----------



## Prince Adrian

_and this kid is absolutely *NOT broken NEVER WAS NEVER HAS BEEN!!!*
NEVER a mistake either!!
__turns out *100% NATURAL* for someone like me!!

WORLD & SPONGE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!!!_








​


----------



## Crisigv

pathetic


----------



## rdrr

hawible


----------



## CNikki

A lot better than I have been, though I still have situations to take care of.


----------



## Prince Adrian

​


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hopeless.


----------



## thomasjune

I feel pretty good but I'm sure it won't last long.. Too many mood swings.

Edit: Ok I feel awful again. Tired and I wanna die.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## coeur_brise

Like a socially backward outcast who, at the end of the day, can't laugh or make friends. Some people feel like aliens. I think aliens have more fun, all that anal probing and flying in the sky. Crash landing in remote areas, talking to the Pres. They're getting out.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Like I drank WAY too much coffee in one day. :lol


----------



## TryingMara

Like a fool.


----------



## tea111red

It's so lonely being alive.


----------



## PolkaTheSalsa

Worried that my coworkers think i didn't like the birthday party they threw for me. It was super sweet but i'm just not used to being the center of a party so i was freaking out internally and i didn't really know what to do. I really tried to be lively and happy but i probably seemed so out of it and quiet. I hope they know that i really appreciated being celebrated.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

SamanthaStrange said:


> Hopeless.


This. Unfortunate for us both...


----------



## Wanderlust89

Feeling blue. Why can't I get myself together these days.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Really ****ed up without warning  Should have known I couldn't stay away from my own shadow.


----------



## uziq

sad again. it's crippling right now. so ****ing lonely. i feel like nothing is worth doing. not even sleeping. it's too much of an anxious hassle. i'd rather just lay in bed with my eyes open as long as i can before my body forces me to sleep.


----------



## AllTheSame

Tired. Emotionally exhausted. Family therapy went for three hours and 15 minutes tonight. Ffs man. It was just....emotionally taxing. Seeing teenage girls just breaking down, completely...seeing moms just losing it. I was told during my first session there with my daughter that things wouldn't get so emotional that people wouldn't be able to stand it but I guess that was...wrong. The group is full, full of single moms and dads with kids. My daughter was the only kid there tonight with both parents there.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Vaguely euphoric. It's a comfortable feeling. The thing that caused this feeling is something that I could best describe as 'pathetic', though I don't really mind. At least not right now. ^w^


----------



## ShatteredGlass

nauseated and horrible.... having an anxiety attack


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel fine. I have not had very much work the past few days..... thats a bit annoying. But it can surprise you and pick up a bit again unexpectedly.


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable, as usual. I feel like a broken record, I'm sorry.


----------



## uziq

my "best friend" doesn't even invite me to his graduation party

wew, fantastic


----------



## tea111red

Having to wade through all this info to get to what I need to know is putting me off of doing something.


----------



## AllTheSame

Tired but otherwise really good. Today was a pretty awesome day. I picked up my son and youngest daughter and we went to the University of Houston campus to see my oldest perform in top band. She plays bass clarinet, and they did really well. It was at this opera house on campus that was so beautiful it would just blow you away. The girls were dressed in these black evening gowns, the guys in tuxedos...it was really nice, they all looked so grown up. I picked her up at her hs after they were finished and we hung out at my parents, where they threw me a sort of a surprise bday party lol. My kids gave me a really nice pair of binoculars (that I'm sure my parents paid for) a few Nike golf shirts, and a 32 gig Apple Ipad. I was really surprised. I ate half a piece of bday cake, which is the first time I've cheated on my diet since I started two months ago but I figured it'd be weird not to have at least a little. Then I took my kids to the Houston Dynamo game. My dad arranged to have our names put on the scoreboard right after halftime. That was really cool, we got some pics.

I'm exhausted but grateful I got to spend the day with my kids. We had a really good day.


----------



## harrison

I'm feeling ok. I spent the afternoon yesterday with a guy I know who is in a situation about a thousand times worse than mine so it makes me realise I'm actually quite lucky. I was also at the book market again and saw how crazy most of the other book-sellers are - they make me seem perfectly normal.


----------



## knifevsface

Lonely, Depressed..The usual.


----------



## Nekomata

Irritated, broody and hungry.


----------



## Prince Adrian

​


----------



## SofaKing

Helpless and even harmful

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Prince Adrian

*yesssss..!!!
*​


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious.


----------



## Iconclast

Crisigv said:


> Miserable, as usual. I feel like a broken record, I'm sorry.


My friend tells me this all the time lol that I sound like a broken record


----------



## Iconclast

I feel like a piece of ****. I quit my job for the 2nd time. I can't work or be consistent. I have no friends. I can't even leave my house with out having panic attacks


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Wanderlust89

Glad that the jerk tenant got kicked out but feeling bummed that the landlord's daughter is moving back in. Not that she's bothersome (or maybe I'll find out soon enough) but it was just sooo nice to enjoy the silence and have the space all to myself when I could. *sigh* Just gotta work hard to pay off my student debt so I can afford an apartment and enjoy all of that again.


----------



## Wanderlust89

I'm feeling so restless more than ever!!! I wanna go run and scream and destroy things! (Listening to Pink Floyd's The Wall album does that to me sometimes.)

I feel like buying stuff now just to cheer myself up when I'm already brokeass. Ugh.


----------



## brothersport

terrible. 
Anxiety attack in church restroom today =_=


----------



## tea111red

dreading stuff.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely and cold


----------



## uziq

cortisol is flowing


----------



## beth321

Doing okay.. we had to put our dog down yesterday. Her name is/was Butterfly and today when we went fishing today, a butterfly kept following my little brother and flying around him  My dad says it's her telling us she's okay.


----------



## 561489

i am so tired of being alone and not having any friends. I do nothing but stay in my house the whole entire day. The only time i go out is when my parents or sister invite to go to the store with them. I hate being at home doing nothing ! I feel like I'm going insane i need a friend :/ and yes its is very pathetic that i am begging to have friend but since i have social phobia it is very hard for me to make friends. Ugh i hate dealing with life.


----------



## Prince Adrian

♪ my bike is on again, my bike is running again! ♫


----------



## Prince Adrian

*enjoying*

rainy afternoon & hot sweet ginger drink!
and a clearer mind-vision today!


----------



## Prince Adrian

*Now for the serious part*

_These wolves have taken care of me very well, doing their parts with utmost devotion since the very start. Now it's my turn as a conscious Master to take care of them. Not because I have to, but because I genuinely LOVE them.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for taking care of me.

And from now on, in *full awareness*, I *wont* ever let the world undermine you in *ANY* way. That's *Captain's promise.*_


----------



## stewartmays1

im feeling a lot better at the moment thank god for working out


----------



## AFoundLady

Feelinh good. Hope for a good day ahead <3


----------



## Xenagos

Nothing, numb, empty, figuring out why I still try.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

lonely


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and hopeless


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## JohnDoe26

Relieved.


----------



## ar7

Like dying


----------



## Crisigv

Annoyed, what else is going to go wrong. Am I going to lose all my hair when I wash it? Seriously, can I have one ****ing day when nothing goes wrong.


----------



## uziq

inebriated


----------



## twistix

Sulky. I guess I'll get over it.


----------



## uziq

so sad and disappointed in myself

i'm crying right now but that's nothing new. gonna lay down and force myself to sleep


----------



## hesgotaheartofgold

shocked and sad, 

-saw my brother for the first time in two years on mothers day. It was a great day for the most part, funny stories, but a lot of the same manic speech, which was to be expected. But scary has it was like a time travel to to the last 7-10 years. Ton of anxiety. I want him to get well, as do I but he doesn't look great.. or sound all put together. It was nice to get the elephant out of the room, but now he's texting me saying he can hook me up with pills, the next day like it's two year ago... Hold your horses. I never even asked for anything... (i know what he wants... he wants something.. He knows I have money) I don't know what the hell he's thinking texting me that! and even texting me like we're on that terms all of a sudden. And he's been in trouble, and has the cops following him from his multiple felony charges. I just can't and will not partake in this past again, I can't have that negativity in my life again. 

But on a positive note I wrote mom a nice long note with her gift from the heart. And I wore my captain america socks over, that have angel wings on them. : )



grateful for each day. Tomorrow is a new one.


----------



## Prince Adrian

​
omfg these people are _THAT_ 'OLD', aren't they? no imagination whatsoever!! 














:yawn
I guess I should have known.









​


----------



## Resergence

Sad and lonely I just want company -.-


----------



## Prince Adrian

​that's right I shall focus on the new map, my compass, & color pencils. can't be bothered by the old worlds. just too worthless to occupy my brain.
















​


----------



## Prince Adrian

​


----------



## whitneyautumnn

Incredibly depressed.


----------



## Crisigv

I have a headache, my stomach hurts a little. Just feeling meh all around.


----------



## catcharay

Solemn. Going to have to quit propranolol..it makes my left eye twitch. And I also feel long term daily use of it is not good. Back to regulating my emotions by myself..hopefully with (successful) meditation, birth control perhaps.


----------



## Greys0n

it's my feeling today


----------



## naptime

Not so good.


----------



## Charmander

Let down.


----------



## unemployment simulator

a little bit on edge, but other than that ,pretty good! i'm putting it down to either the good weather, changing my sleeping patterns around or something I ate?


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Angry


----------



## PandaBearx

Disconnected


----------



## SofaKing

Time for me to fly
Oh, I've got to set myself free
Time for me to fly
And that's just how it's got to be
I know it hurts to say goodbye
But it's time for me to fly


----------



## Crisigv

Not so good


----------



## uziq

Christ almighty this is the worst hangover I've ever had


----------



## Andras96

helpless


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely
Hurting 
Sad
Crazy 
I feel like I'm pushing people away


----------



## 629753




----------



## 629753




----------



## 629753




----------



## 629753




----------



## ShatteredGlass

i want him


----------



## yp17

*disappointed*

Dispointed, I let my anxiety get the best of me today :frown2::frown2:


----------



## Wanderlust89

Very depressed. I need a ****ing vacation. 
Wish I could drink so badly right now but can't due to my sensitive stomach.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel like I am never going to stop crying. :cry


----------



## Flora20

I'm feeling so lost right now..


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired


----------



## El Psy Kongroo

I feel strange, bitter, scared, overwhelmed and lost


----------



## NickL

Anxious and in a state of ongoing panic 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## thomasjune

Tired but I'm able to relax today so I'm good.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## KILOBRAVO

fine. the weather has been better and ive had more interesting work again which I've got good feedback on.


----------



## FrostLily

I'm tired and blue and I wish I had a girlfriend...


----------



## Overdrive

hopeless for a better future


----------



## JohnDoe26

Annoyed.

This canker sore on the tip of my tongue hurts like a *****.


----------



## Crisigv

Bored 
Tired
Very blah
Annoyed at my laptop, because it doesn't feel like connecting to the internet properly


----------



## herk

good, had a good day


----------



## uziq

pathetic, sad, feel like I'm not good enough for anyone, yatta yatta. nothing new


----------



## Nunuc

Every day is a **** day.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

vague

don't even really care at this point

another pathetic attempt on my part, further instilling a sense of dread for the inevitable failures that will continue to plague every facet of my life without exception in the future. death would be cool but i'm far too cowardly to go as far as to purposefully induce it. i just want to feel good about myself for a change -- not have to deal with the constant myriad of crushing insecurities and absence of meaningful reinforcement that serve to undermine and invalidate my very existence.

i sure will start caring soon enough though. exactly when i don't want to, as is customary with me.... and boy. will it be crappy. it's okay though; i do find enjoyment within suffering (my own and that of others) though. even if such enjoyment is subconscious, which i suppose it is, i do semi-actively seek punishment for myself. after all, it's not like anybody else is going to bother, which, of course, firmly keeps my perception of myself and the world i 'inhabit' down at the level of the mud in a murky swamp, forever unable to keep up with the squad.


----------



## LostinReverie

I'm very hopeless, angry with myself, angry with life. I want to cut, but I know it won't help. Probably will anyhow... and still be miserable. This isn't life. It's hell.


----------



## Andre

Sad to see that someone I care about is miserable. Other than that, faith points are up.


----------



## stewartmays1

im feeling ok at the moment not great but ok


----------



## Friendonkey

I'm bored and want to talk to new people.


----------



## uziq

still sad today, woe is me.


----------



## okgoodbye

Confused.


----------



## Crisigv

Warm and cozy in my misery


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Nunuc said:


> Every day is a **** day.


This sums it up completely


----------



## Resergence

like a sad potato all day jeez I haven't this down since I had a major melt down about a month ago.


----------



## Lonelyfalcon

I feel love and hopelessness.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

In need of a hermit/recluse day already


----------



## Prince Adrian

*Disgusted *_#$%^&@[/#_*!!!!!*


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I'm tired of everything, and I feel like going into isolation mode again.


----------



## AggravationState

Ignored & slightly suicidal.


----------



## uziq

extremely tired


----------



## ShatteredGlass

when will death come lol


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired. I'm so tired and exhausted everyday these days. Tired of life, exhausted by life. Shouldn't be the case at 28 years of age but here I am


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely, I miss him


----------



## Prince Adrian

_Disturbed #$%?"@#$#??!![#&^@%#!!!!!!_


----------



## Prince Adrian

_NO INNOCENCE LEFT in this world!!!!!!!!_








​


----------



## Prince Adrian

*What will I become??!*






_Because as high as my sensitivity could be & I respect it wholeheartedly, I can't fully let go of my curiosity either!!
_







​


----------



## uziq

I could be moving out my mom's within the week. Not really all that anxious about it since I'll be moving in to a place that I already spend a lot of time at anyways. It will bring me in much more frequent contact with people around my age though, so hopefully that will do me some good.


----------



## Prince Adrian

aah.. I smell hot COFFEE from downstairs! how fitting.. a long & torrential rainy day (LOVE-LOVE IT!!).. some noir theme above.. _*if only I could stay innocent #$%^&;[email protected]#!!!!*_

and too bad I'm fasting, can't make a coffee for myself today.








​


----------



## Prince Adrian

don't want to.. be.. a sponge.. absorbing everything.. ADAPTING to anything.. light.. and.. DARK.. I'm.. not.. one.. of them.. _*I KNOW I'm not & am NEVER one of them!!!!*_ don't want.. don't want.. to adapt.. absorb.. don't.. want.. to sponge.. don't sponge.. get rid.. of.. sponge.. don't.. want.. to be.. a sponge.. don't.. want.. to be.. a sponge.. don't.. want.. to be.. a sponge.. god help..
















​


----------



## Prince Adrian

_So mystery is not all 'fun & games'._








​


----------



## Prince Adrian

^some note: 
quite surprised by the dislikes for the vid, apparently I'm not so trained to 'appreciate' classical music. although on one hand I could be a sword-tongue touchy SNOB (and proud of that, mwahahaa..!!) on the other hand I'm a carefree rebel who just.. don't care of anything any rule any 'shoulds' interpretations styles bla-bla-bla! so, (another) mwahahaa..!!

besides, _whyy.._ after watching other artists playing the same piece I love them all anyway.








​


----------



## harrison

Bored out of my tiny little brain.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Still pretty damn exhausted


----------



## Crisigv

Not good, i'm never good. I haven't had a good day in a long time. I'm so miserable.


----------



## Friendonkey

A little pathetic.


----------



## uziq

kind of overwhelmed


----------



## SouthFL

Actually feel great right now...but what comes up must come down


----------



## AllTheSame

Total awesomeness :laugh:I'm feeling much better physically today.

Also, just got back from my youngest daughter's Spring choir concert. I was one of the first ones there. They kept the audience in the foyer before it started, but I saw this mom sneak in early, then I snuck in behind her, and then the floodgates just opened lol. I went over to the section where the choir was seated and found my daughter and found a seat behind her. I wasn't supposed to be there, the choir director was staring daggers at me....I was the only parent there but I didn't care lol. She'll get over it. My daughter introduced me to her friend Adam, we talked for a few minutes. She was so hyped up, so happy. I wished her luck, gave her a big hug, kiss on the forehead and then found a seat on the right side where I knew she'd be, about fifth row. Got some awesome pics and video. My ex-wife and her parents were there (ick) but there were no issues. It went really well and I drove home to the most awesome sunset I've seen in a long time.

I feel really blessed, despite all the problems and issues I have, some of which I'll never get over. I'm doing better than I deserve. Things could be so much worse.


----------



## uziq

****ing terrible. someone was actually upfront to me for once and called me annoying. guess that's confirmation.


----------



## uziq

haha, oh god. it's amazing how quickly a great, uplifting day can turn into total shít. i'm not even afraid to admit that I just popped a pill to forget this bull**** even happened. it's funny how much effort I expend into making myself a bit more sociable and my head gets buried in the fcking sand. good night.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm at a weird place. On one side my anxiety is getting the best of me and I'm freaking out about tomorrow's events and on the other side I feel great. Not sure how I can feel both at the same time but I do.


----------



## Xenagos

Finished.

I've been browsing a bunch of gore subreddits all day. Maybe to talk myself out of ever killing myself, I don't know. I'm sure I won't do it but I feel very hopeless right now.


----------



## PrincessV

i iss Nervous


----------



## uziq

fine


----------



## jiae

Depressed, trapped, and discouraged...


----------



## LostinReverie

Completely hopeless. Alone. Like there isn't anybody out there like me.


----------



## uziq

overwhelmed and anxious. been running around doing so much stuff lately that it's wearing my introvert battery thin.


----------



## Euripides

Tired of putting in so so much effort, way more than I am supposed to be able to handle, and getting nothing for it in return. No, I even get routinely **** on for it.


----------



## Crisigv

My feet hurt, my head hurts thanks to work. Tomorrow will be the same kind of day. Other than I'm feeling great (sarcastic for I want to die).


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I'm still feeling half dead. My brain has been stuck in zombie mode for most of the last few days.


----------



## rdrr

exhausted


----------



## AllTheSame

Happy, for once. Got some really encouraging news today, and also just got back from my son's spring band concert. He did really well...he's in Honors Band. They played some pretty advanced music for them tonight (high school level, and they're 7th graders). I got some awesome pics and video.


----------



## uziq

drained


----------



## Mur

Like I have to take a giant greasy dump.


----------



## JustThisGuy

A.A said:


> Like I have to take a giant greasy dump.


How can you crap yourself?


----------



## SunFlower2011

Lonely and uneasy.


----------



## Wanderlust89

Feeling lost and alone.


----------



## naptime

I feel like a crap! I can't even walk without feeling exhausted.


----------



## aragog

Disappointed in myself.


----------



## Crisigv

naptime said:


> I feel like a crap! I can't even walk without feeling exhausted.


You'll get better :hug


----------



## blackOrlov

My fat pig of a brother-in-law orders me around like I'm some kind of a maid or something, and almost finished the food for dinner so I am still very hungry. That inconsiderate, piece of bacon. :no his binge eating is too much.


----------



## uziq

tired, slow, dull


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry


----------



## LostinReverie

I HATE this world, I HATE myself, I HATE EVERYTHING. I DON'T want to be alive anymore. I NEED a ****ing way out. Somebody help me.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, depressed, sick, tired, and lonely.


----------



## contact




----------



## Friendonkey

Negative and disappointed.


----------



## Mur

JustThisGuy said:


> How can you crap yourself?


I didn't poop on myself hehe, but I did just make a stinky sacrifice to the Elder Gods.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sweet & Low Down


----------



## naptime

Crisigv said:


> You'll get better :hug


I sure hope so.


----------



## theloneleopard

Emotionally battered and trying to recover. 

I never imagined that things would ever get so acrimonious between us.


----------



## tcv

terrible


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Same sh**, different day.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted, everyday I feel exhausted now


----------



## CWe

Like [email protected]@


----------



## Fractalx

I'm so tired. Physically tired. Tired of feeling on the edge of tears. Tired of knowing that when I have a good day, that bad days will be along before long. Tired of feeling lonely. Tired of feeling that I'm letting my kids down because I feel the way I do. Tired of feeling that I've failed.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel ok... emm... i need a kick up the back tho ... I've gotten a bit lazy from excersising because i'm spending more time doing the work for the company now... and its made me a bit lazy.( exercise wise)


----------



## LostinReverie

Out of the blue, the grief comes back and it just pours and pours out of you and you realize it never left


----------



## Andras96

Like wanting to disappear for good. Who knows, maybe it'll happen sooner rather than later. Pleeease let it happen.


----------



## Andras96

Yeah, I'm logging off now. But still nice to know that I was ****ing disposable (and probably still am) to everyone I ever tried to reach out to.


----------



## Nunuc




----------



## uziq

focused


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Cold



Nunuc said:


>


This really makes me smile, lol


----------



## ShatteredGlass

why do i continue to live lol


----------



## 3r10n

sad / alone.
Life needs an off-button.


----------



## uziq

i feel weird

not sure if it's from the dosage increase in my meds or what


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like garbage. A whole day of stupid garbage.


----------



## flockfox

I'm feeling tired, I've been doing households all day.


----------



## funnynihilist

Trying to go back to sleep but my mind wont stop.


----------



## LostinReverie

In better spirits


----------



## catcharay

Confused. Today was fine then twds the afternoon my mood switched and I was v irritated for no real reason, one that I cant pinpoint. We got some (small)trees as a viewing block from the neighbors. Ironically after calling the cops on them on Friday , I felt pressure to be more visible instead of hiding from their view.. ordinarily I would cower away.Feel ugly.. What's new, skin doesn't behave. Feel sad for my guy, dealing w our neighbors as a matter of principle and to assert respect for us..the outcome was good somewhat but it was v difficult for him. Been thinking tonight of doing ayahuasca. This evening felt bad I resorted to praying our father and Hail Mary. Feel a lil better typing this out. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Miserable.


----------



## Crisigv

I was feeling good earlier. Now, not so much. Soon I will have to see my mom, and that's going to be awkward. I will just stay quiet, that's all I can do.


----------



## thomasjune

Stressed out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Andras96

Half asleep. Idk why I still log in.

Edit: yeah, screw this.


----------



## PrincessV

I have this problem where I always feel the past is better than the future. So I rarely feel content in the present moment. 

It's like the past is sacred to me and It always seems better than where I am now. 

Nostalgia, lamenting the past, are the only ways I can describe it in a simple way.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

idk idc


----------



## uziq

haven't gotten much sleep the past 3 nights, so naturally i'm feeling like a corpse at this point


----------



## LostinReverie




----------



## Andras96

Half awake after sleeping my life away this week. 

"I don't want you sleeping, get up and DO something."

- Sure thing, let me just pull out my contacts list of people... oh right.


----------



## Crisigv

Worse than I was feeling earlier.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Guilty and pathetic. the usual. Sipping on hot chamomile tea and listening to 80s music though, which is nice. :3


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I felt so... bold... on the bus back today. As result of this rather strange affliction, I went so far as to (discreetly) take a multiple pictures of my crush. One was head on, and clear enough that I can now admire his handsome face whenever I so please, through my phone screen. On a side note, 'whenever I so please,' happens to be a lot. Yep. I sure do like torturing myself by bribing my brain into deals that can't be sustained. 

The strangest thing about this is that I seemed to have found myself lacking in any legitimate concern of being discovered. I justified this idea by mentally suggesting that 'either way, I get what I want'. That is; either pictures of him, or the object of my affection being forced to talk to me in order to ask me to delete the pictures. After all, what 'reputation' do I really even have. The *******s at school barely know who I am. Might as well give 'em something to talk about, lol...? I already hate myself as it is, so what does it matter if everybody else considers the feeling mutual? 

I don't even know. All I know is that I am desperate for him and I will do whatever it takes to get with him.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pathetic.


----------



## AFoundLady

tired and exhausted.


----------



## LostinReverie

Tired and sore


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed 
Lonely 
Hated 
Forgotten
Sore 
Irritated


----------



## Kevin001

So f-cking tired. Plus tomorrow is going to be a whirlwind......ugh.


----------



## silentcase

Relieved because I survived the first week of the new school term.

Anxious because I still have 13 weeks to go.


----------



## catcharay

Lost, alone and it's all a result of me. It was eventual so yes it's my fault and I have no blame for anyone but myself. So sad, too much lately.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

terribly inadequate  my stomach aches and my chest is tight. death is good.


----------



## Crisigv

Not rested


----------



## LostinReverie




----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel a bit inexplicably sleepy... altho i have ignored the temptation to nap.... so I'm sure later I'll perk up a bit. 
doing bits of work for 2 companies now... so i have no reason to be bored i suppose LOL.


----------



## uziq

tired, as usual. don't think i've had a decent nights sleep in about 5 days now


----------



## LostinReverie

Like crying. The loneliness is unbearable. Seriously, being ignored is worse than being mistreated. 

Also, the insomnia is making me a prisoner to consciousness. I have no breaks from myself.


----------



## LemonBones

people need to ****ing *** for this ****


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like a leper


----------



## PrincessV

So many different cool people in the world. I feel a bit better


----------



## thomasjune

Three day weekend. Feels good.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad, lonely, and tired of life.


----------



## Breakingthebarrier

Feeling a little apprehensive but otherwise pretty happy. For anyone needing a hug :squeeze


----------



## Flora20

Kinda bored and lonely :/


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Confused, immature, silly, too old for this crap, etc. etc. etc.


----------



## Crisigv

Feels like I'm nearing some kind of end. Most likely the bad one.


----------



## harrison

Feeling great - it's a good day for staying inside. A bit wet and starting to get quite cold out there - will just stay in here with the heating on and look at my books.


----------



## Wanderlust89

Crappy. I had the worst PMS week ever.


----------



## Crisigv

Not really sure. A bit up and down. I always feel miserable during weddings though.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit anxious, a bit tired, a bit bored


----------



## Friendonkey

A little worried over still being single, a tiny bit lonely.


----------



## uziq

yet another night of terrible sleep, this is ****ing awful

my brain is completely wracked


----------



## naptime

Like crap! I'm tired and I hurt


----------



## hmweasley

I opened the window about an hour ago, and apparently that was enough for my allergies to act up. So I'm not feeling my best right now because of that.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

im in love with him and i dont know how to cope


----------



## uziq

broken


----------



## Andras96

Useless. My brain is a defective mess.


----------



## carrebear2009

Scared and alone


----------



## Andras96

Yeah, screw this. I'm not needed.


----------



## Flora20

Depressed, lonely and eating sweets isn't helping :/


----------



## ShatteredGlass

actually not too bad for a change.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


----------



## Kevin001

I'm ok now but I'm so not looking forward to that long a** work shift I have later....ugh.


----------



## Andras96

I'm so flippin' useless.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

more or less pretty fine


----------



## PrincessV

I feel like someone cursed me & now I'm depressed. lmfao. Either that or I jinxed myself 

honestly my self esteem just plummeted.


----------



## Andras96

I honestly should just do everyone a favor and die already.


----------



## Andras96

I mean it. If anyone else here thinks they're useless, then look no further. My god, even still being here shows how ****ing stupid and naive I am to think anything would change.


----------



## Andras96

Stupid defective brain, stupid defective everything.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

PrincessV said:


> I feel like someone cursed me & now I'm depressed. lmfao. Either that or I jinxed myself
> 
> honestly my self esteem just plummeted.


*Gives a little bit of confidence*


----------



## AggravationState

Pharmaceutically calm & very grateful.


----------



## PrincessV

Demon Soul said:


> *Gives a little bit of confidence*


:blush thanks


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable and lonely, the staple feelings in my life.


----------



## slowlyimproving

....I'm not sure anymore. Everything and nothing.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Like I want to be brave, but will it last? It could devastate me.


----------



## slyfox

Tired and thirsty


----------



## intheshadows

Dreading going to work.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Sleepy.
It is 10:35pm


----------



## Crisigv

I feel sick. Crying and worrying as much as I do isn't good for me. It doesn't take much to make me feel physically bad.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

trapped


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, confused and worried


----------



## uziq

6 hours of sleep once again, perhaps this is the new normal


----------



## uziq

utterly sad, hopeless, isolated. a giant loser.


----------



## Crisigv

uziq said:


> utterly sad, hopeless, isolated. a giant loser.


Hey, me too! You're not alone.


----------



## huh

used, depressed...but I keep going back for it.


----------



## Kevin001

Confused. Not sure what to do about my job situation.....ugh.


----------



## stewartmays1

i dunno kinda up and down at the moment


----------



## Crisigv

ignored


----------



## LostinReverie

excluded


----------



## uziq

extremely pissed at the way people react to me asking for their help irl when i actually need it, when i practically bend over for them any time they need my help

feels like i'm getting sick too, so that's always a plus


----------



## uziq

Crisigv said:


> ignored


♡


----------



## Crisigv

uziq said:


> ♡


Thanks

But let's not forget

Lonely, unwanted, ugly, pathetic, worthless

The usuals. I'm nothing.


----------



## CWe

like I wanna rip off my shirt and let out every frustration I have


----------



## catcharay

Like my pms is on a continuum. The ovulating starts too soon again. Maltesers and weekend carrot cake does make me feel better. I'll have to walk and meditate later. Feel like pho too.


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

Trying to not let the nihilism get to me but sometimes I genuinely believe I'm worthless and won't amount to anything even though I've been told I'm talented and have a lot to offer. :/


----------



## Zozulya

Very depressed. Weather and environment don't help, but considering the situation, I feel like I don't want to keep it going anymore.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

feel like inferior trash that was due for death long ago


----------



## uziq

dying


----------



## elderdragon

Slept too much last night but I needed to catch up on my sleep, feeling normal now but 2 hours ago I was a zombie.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Defeated


----------



## Wanderlust89

Depressed as ****.


----------



## thomasjune

Like I can't wait for my life to be over with.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

depressed


----------



## catcharay

My sis just bought a 1.5 mil house with her husband. Jelly much? no, not me.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

guilty


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

Sad and disappointed that Brand New, one of my favorite bands who got me through some rough times, announced their breakup via a post and tweet about new t-shirts. Two of my other favorite bands had the decency to announce their breakup via an open letter, but this band literally just posted a pic of a shirt with their start and end dates. Fans have been waiting since 2009 for a new album that they've been teasing but all they've done is two singles within the past two years and now this? Seriously??? I understand that when it's done, it's done but this isn't the way you end things....


----------



## Flora20

restless..


----------



## Overdrive

uselessssss


----------



## millenniumman75

overwhelmed


----------



## Friendonkey

Happy, maybe a little nervous.

My new friend and I talk about meeting up in person to hang out, which I really do want to do.

I don't know how I plan to prepare myself mentally though. What he thinks of me means a *lot*, I don't want him thinking poorly of me.

I'm such a mess though, so terribly awkward. I really hope I can overcome it soon enough. I really want to be friends with him in person.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless, where the hell is our damned order?


----------



## Kevin001

Not sure. I'm trying to figure out how to fix things plus I feel like I might be getting sick....ugh.


----------



## zubie

I have been procrastinating my work today and yesterday because I have been having trouble focusing on anything. I feel a lot of numbness, then I feel clarity, but still it is hard to do what I am supposed to do. I end up having to do a lot to comfort myself like drinking coffee which I am addicted to, just to not fall apart. 
I am hoping I get out of this soon. Plus I was on a diet and lost 3 pounds which was great for me but now feeling too emotional to care at the moment. And know this will be a problem later.. argh..


----------



## That Random Guy

*Eh.*

Feeling pretty down.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I'm AWESOME


----------



## Prince Adrian

grounded.


----------



## kesker

Denialated


----------



## Crisigv

I'm really tired of everything. I don't want to live like this anymore.


----------



## Wanderlust89

Pissed off. I can't believe this is ****ing happening! But I'm trying to keep my cool so I don't do something stupid...like quit and go live in my car again.


----------



## uziq

so, so tired man.

it's been so long since i've had more than 1 consecutive day of 8+ hours of sleep, and it's really starting to show in my eyebags.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm feeling really lost.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm an emotional roller coaster right now. I got so many things to deal with....ugh. I'm a f-cking mess, lol.


----------



## herk

sometimes can't tell if my overthinking is warranted or just that


----------



## tea111red

i'm so depressed and lonely.


----------



## Barakiel

Could be better.


----------



## AllTheSame

Awesome  Gonna take my kids to the Astros v A's game in a bit. Afterwards going to get some clothes and other stuff I need for vacation that starts in a week. No worries right now, and that's very, very rare for me. I wish I could feel this way all the time.


----------



## uziq

hey guess what, i'm tired lol!

5 hours last night


----------



## Crisigv

no better


----------



## Ckg2011

Why in the world would I get to do what I want, oh yeah that's right I don't, I don't get to do what I want in life. Gee what a surprise.


----------



## Charmander

Okay. I'm not really a fan of Saturday nights anymore. I actually kinda prefer Sundays.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

****ing **** as per usual 

when will i die at last


----------



## Mur

So-so


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> i'm so depressed and lonely.


Same.


----------



## Crisigv

Bored out of my mind, which causes me to be depressed.


----------



## bewareofyou

so lonely and so sad tonight


----------



## catcharay

Yuck. Mcdonald fries with gravy plus the breakfast meal, aldi pizza, cheese, lambshank all yest. Today a lot of fats -cheese, yoghurt nuts, pb. It doesnt look bad but I feel like it. Cue meditation and funny comedies.


----------



## uziq

i was just blatantly taken advantage of, and i know now i will be held responsible for something that isn't my fault in the morning


----------



## Mur

Splendid


----------



## Canadian Brotha

weathered


----------



## Mur

Like I have to take an enormous dump, right before I go to sleep, ugh!!!


----------



## harrison

Slowly starting to calm down - that woman scared the hell out of me.


----------



## Nekomata

Good! Hungry and excited! ...he's so cute... hehehehe...


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel pretty good


----------



## uziq

intense sadness. why do i **** everything up.


----------



## tea111red

i feel like i just want to kill myself. i already have my method. i just don't feel like i have the will to keep going on. i struggle to get through at least every hr of the day.


----------



## damagedloser

I'm feeling a bit better. I cycle between feeling normal and deep depressions. I've been particularly depressed recently but I think I'm starting to get better.


----------



## Crisigv

Blah


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired, grumpy, and lonely.


----------



## Crisigv

Restless


----------



## Wanderlust89

I'm shocked that someone followed me on tumblr since I don't add hashtags to my posts. Actually I'm more shocked that a stranger found it interesting enough to want to follow.


----------



## Raeden

Crap. I was meaning to be productive or something, but the last 2 weeks completely flew by in a blink and I've haven't really done anything particularly productive in quite a long time now. :/


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Worthless. Pathetic. Rejected. Unwanted. And like I never f***ing learn.


----------



## Crisigv

Feel a little sick


----------



## alienjunkie

When you realize you're a disgusting fat piece of garbage


----------



## LostinReverie

down


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel fine...ive had the past two days go out in the heat and sun and dress like everyone else in short and t- shirts etc rather that chicken out and be all wrapped in thick clothes up like i would have been in the past.... hope i'll get a tan 

altho right now....I'm a bit bored because today has been one of those days where there is not much work on the systems.... and any that does pop up... its too kinda hard / low quality to want deal with.


----------



## Flora20

I'm actually feeling okay today so that's good.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel a little strange


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

Like Willard from "Apocalypse Now" mixed in with Bobby from "Five Easy Pieces"


----------



## Prince Adrian

​


----------



## Friendonkey

Hopeful


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy. It takes so much effort to keep the bad thoughts away.


----------



## uziq

i am undesirable and a waste of space on this planet


----------



## Crisigv

I have a bad headache and I am miserable.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

tired/tense


----------



## Wanderlust89

I'm feeling ok for once. I can't wait for my 2 days off coming up soon.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i am a walking embarrassment lel

(^: i love dying


----------



## Crisigv

Like I've been punched/kicked in the gut.


----------



## uziq

empty. numbed of emotion. i don't feel anything right now. i am a vacuum of misery.


----------



## Kevin001

^^ omg, I'm so happy for you.

I'm feeling ok. I hope work goes well later.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired/restless/bored


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@tea111red I hope things work out for you. 

I am feeling meh, as usual.


----------



## harrison

I had to stay home today because I just couldn't see how I could walk around like this. An intense skype last night - which was fun, but I think maybe the mania might have started then too. I woke up with it - like your head is bursting with thoughts and feelings. I need to start paying attention to this more - i think I forget just how intense this really is and let it go.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

Very disappointed with this site.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Confused, conflicted, & lost


----------



## Flora20

Just really bored and feeling depressed again


----------



## Prince Adrian

​


----------



## Prince Adrian

​


----------



## Aleida

garbage


----------



## Jetlagg

Excited about decluttering and selling some ****.


----------



## Prince Adrian

​


----------



## Prince Adrian

​


----------



## Canadian Brotha

In need of solitude


----------



## Mur

The usual feeling when I browse posts on this forum, amused as ****, lawl....


----------



## Crisigv

Sad
Depressed
Hopeless
Regretful
The biggest loser here


----------



## Barakiel

Creatively frustrated, I doubt I have any hope of becoming a competent musician at this point. Maybe I should take up drawing just so I can have something else to get depressed over.


----------



## HenDoggy

My head is ****ed up


----------



## Flora20

I'm feeling okay, just little nervous about tomorrow.


----------



## uziq

my self esteem took a major blow tonight

also i'm drunk to soften the pain.



Crisigv said:


> The biggest loser here


nope, that's me


----------



## uziq

lower than low


----------



## ShatteredGlass

what is my life


----------



## Crisigv

uziq said:


> my self esteem took a major blow tonight
> 
> also i'm drunk to soften the pain.
> 
> nope, that's me


Well, it's not a competition, but I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.


----------



## AllTheSame

Awesome. On top of the world. I'm packing my suitcase for vacation. It's gong to be over-the-top incredible awesomeness, but I'm also looking forward to unplugging for a week. No internet. No phones (except for texting). No tv. I cannot wait. In 48 hours I'm going to be waiting to board one of the biggest ships in the world.


----------



## uziq

Crisigv said:


> Well, it's not a competition, but I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.


thanks and yeah sorry, i was drunk and belligerent last night


----------



## uziq

I feel okay right now, and I'm pretty sure it's an onset of mania. Hopefully it lasts a while, because I'd rather be feeling like this than the opposite.


----------



## Charmander

AllTheSame said:


> Awesome. On top of the world. I'm packing my suitcase for vacation. It's gong to be over-the-top incredible awesomeness, but I'm also looking forward to unplugging for a week. No internet. No phones (except for texting). No tv. I cannot wait. In 48 hours I'm going to be waiting to board one of the biggest ships in the world.


Never been on a cruise but always wanted to. Hope you have fun!


----------



## Kevin001

Pretty good. I'm just so grateful for everything I have. Helping people really makes me happy. I can't help everyone but I try.


----------



## cat001

I'm currently feeling cautiously relieved. My snake (JD) had an operation to remove a tumour some weeks ago but around the same time started developing eggs. The narrowing at the surgical site means she's having great difficulty with passing the eggs. Some of them have coalesced just above her vent so I was concerned the eggs were impossible for her to pass but tonight she's laid two of them! There's still another dozen or so left so although I'm super happy and relieved that she's able to still pass the eggs I also know while there's still more to go there's still the danger of complications.

In short, if my snakes doing well, I'm happy!


----------



## Crisigv

Defeated


----------



## tehuti88

Crushed and empty and alone.

I wish I had him here to hug. I wish someone could hug me. :crying:


----------



## Wanderlust89

Feeling so bipolar. -_- I was having a good time on my first day off but then today, I was just feeling lonely all day.


----------



## CosmicLow

I don't know but i wanna have a good day today.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i ****ing hate my life lmfao


----------



## SilentLyric

anxious, but the kind you get when something new and exciting is happening in your life.


----------



## LostinReverie

I'm so happy 'cause today I've found my friends ... they're in my head


----------



## funnynihilist

LostinReverie said:


> I'm so happy 'cause today I've found my friends ... they're in my head


I'm so horny but that's okay my will is good.


----------



## probably offline

Small.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

cat001 said:


> I'm currently feeling cautiously relieved. My snake (JD) had an operation to remove a tumour some weeks ago but around the same time started developing eggs. The narrowing at the surgical site means she's having great difficulty with passing the eggs. Some of them have coalesced just above her vent so I was concerned the eggs were impossible for her to pass but tonight she's laid two of them! There's still another dozen or so left so although I'm super happy and relieved that she's able to still pass the eggs I also know while there's still more to go there's still the danger of complications.
> 
> In short, if my snakes doing well, I'm happy!


How is it having a snake? How does a snake behave? Is it more like a cat, or will it wiggle it's tail like a dog when it sees you? :lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Conflicted.


----------



## cat001

Demon Soul said:


> How is it having a snake?


Educational...Exhausting (have 10 of them)...Rewarding! ....Addictive...



Demon Soul said:


> How does a snake behave?


This depends on the personality of the snake; shy snakes often watch you from their hides and when they know your watching will hide themselves, adventurous snakes often notice you and immediately come out of hiding, when they know your watching they come closer. Some of the snakes will stay hidden while others sit in plain sight with their chins resting on the doors runner of the vivarium, waiting for you to open the door to let them out.



Demon Soul said:


> Is it more like a cat, or will it wiggle it's tail like a dog when it sees you? :lol


They'll rattle their tails if their p'ed off with you and may wiggle their tails if in distress but their generally more like cats if I had to compare; more interested in being fed above all else!


----------



## Crisigv

So bad. So done. I can't do this anymore. Why can't this be over? No point in living if I can't be happy.


----------



## AllTheSame

Excited, a bit overwhelmed, very tired, a little anxious. Mostly excited. In 24 hours me and family, all ten of us, will be headed for Cozumel in one of the biggest ships ever built. Spent today trying to find a suit for my son for the formal nights, because his mom (my ex-wife) sent him with nothing to wear. She didn't even send him with enough t-shirts to wear ffs. I don't know wtf she thought he was supposed to wear, I've only been over the dress code with her about a million times. Anyways finally found him a suit, got him new shoes also. My kids each have over $100 to spend...which is gonna go quick but they should each be able to get something nice. Everything is covered by my parents. Rooms, food is covered of course, excursions at each port. My family is dysfunctional as hell....they take the fun out of dysfunctional....but they really can be pretty cool sometimes. I'm just ready for it to get here. Getting ready for it, double-checking all the kids luggage, making sure they have absolutely everything, running to six different stores to get last minute stuff, finding out about international texting plans, has been exhausting. First world problems I guess


----------



## Andre

Do what, Crisi? I'm sad to see you're feeling bad.

Other than that, I'm perfect.

I'm also a bit horrified by your Nirvana quote, LostinReverie, considering the multiple meanings that could be applied as I contemplate. How uncomfortable that phrase has made me while listening to it.

Interesting comparison of the cat and the snake, Cat. Comparing snakes and cats to people, snakes don't care about hurting other people, like the Slytherins, they are comfortable being cruel whereas cats have to rely on their pride; they have to use courage because of their natural ability to care, like the Gryffindors.


----------



## Crisigv

Rufus said:


> Do what, Crisi? I'm sad to see you're feeling bad.


Live. Exist. I can't anymore. I can't be like this. I don't know how to change. I had one good thing, it was all I wanted, and I screwed that up. Now I don't want to be here anymore. All you need to do is ignore me and I won't make you sad.


----------



## Andre

Crisigv said:


> Live. Exist. I can't anymore. I can't be like this. I don't know how to change. I had one good thing, it was all I wanted, and I screwed that up. Now I don't want to be here anymore. All you need to do is ignore me and I won't make you sad.


You don't make me that sad. I'm still curious about you.


----------



## Crisigv

Rufus said:


> You don't make me that sad. I'm still curious about you.


That's good I guess.


----------



## Andre

Crisigv said:


> That's good I guess.


I would say so. Do you have any friends you ever hang out with? I have one good friend but we haven't hung out yet. It's too bad also that she lives kind of far away. I know I can't expect to hang out eventually with her but I hope we can.


----------



## DepressedMind

*Worthless*

I feel worthless!! Ashamed!! Untrustworthy!! I should off myself. I'm tired of living feeling unhappy every single day. **** Me!! And **** My Life!!


----------



## Crisigv

Rufus said:


> I would say so. Do you have any friends you ever hang out with? I have one good friend but we haven't hung out yet. It's too bad also that she lives kind of far away. I know I can't expect to hang out eventually with her but I hope we can.


I've only met 2 people from here. I wouldn't say hang out. I haven't done anything for a long time now. I'm very lonely. But who wants to hang out with a whiner.


----------



## HenDoggy

Sad


----------



## contact

all is well


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Really ****ed up and surreal. I'm grinning but it's a grin of despair. The world is spinning all around me, incomprehensible. I feel so..... ashamed and filthy. All of my efforts have been for nothing. I've only established myself as a clingy, attention obsessed narcissist. It can be amazing just how devastating the effect of a couple of images that are interpreted as words can have on the human brain. Wow. That sure shoots a harpoon through my paradigm. And my heart. "Ooooh, plot twist!" an optimist may exclaim.


----------



## Andre

Crisigv said:


> I've only met 2 people from here. I wouldn't say hang out. I haven't done anything for a long time now. I'm very lonely. But who wants to hang out with a whiner.


The same is true for me. I'm very lonely and I can't remember the last time I was with a friend just doing whatever. It was such a long time ago. What happened to the people you met? You might not have as many reasons to whine once you find some friends.


----------



## Mur

Amused, this **** is hilarious.


----------



## Crisigv

Rufus said:


> The same is true for me. I'm very lonely and I can't remember the last time I was with a friend just doing whatever. It was such a long time ago. What happened to the people you met? You might not have as many reasons to whine once you find some friends.


Easier said than done to find friends.


----------



## thomasjune

Tired. One day off is not enough.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jetlagg

Depressed, thinking about what my life could've been compared to what it is.


----------



## tehuti88

I'm so lonely. I want to give her love. I want her to love me. Why doesn't she? She would rather sleep out on the couch than even come in and see how I am. Won't purr for me. Won't cuddle. Won't even sleep on my lap. Won't love me.

For the past 35+ years I've always had someone to love me. Even though it was always only a cat.

Now I have no one else who can love me so I don't know what to do. :crying:


----------



## ShatteredGlass

tehuti88 said:


> I'm so lonely. I want to give her love. I want her to love me. Why doesn't she? She would rather sleep out on the couch than even come in and see how I am. Won't purr for me. Won't cuddle. Won't even sleep on my lap. Won't love me.
> 
> For the past 35+ years I've always had someone to love me. Even though it was always only a cat.
> 
> Now I have no one else who can love me so I don't know what to do. :crying:


:squeeze I hope things get better for you soon. ://

_________

as for how i'm feeling...

gay

so very gay


----------



## Mur

Annoyed, all of these ****ing proxy accounts on here are pissing me off, urgh....


----------



## uziq

confused at one exchange and depressed about another

i'm just going to sleep, **** this


----------



## tehuti88

ShatteredGlass said:


> :squeeze I hope things get better for you soon. ://


Thank you...

...

She showed up in the hallway crying outside my dad's bedroom door...probably wanted him to let her in. I meowed back at her, not expecting much. She came in the room and jumped up on the bed and immediately looked like she wanted to leave so I figured I'd just let her. But she stood on me for a moment, looking around, and I noticed there was a really faint purr. I held her in place and pressed my ear to her back to hear it better and tried to let it remind me of his purr, even though his was so much louder.

She looked toward the window and I told her that Cosmas isn't there anymore. :crying:

She turned around and kind of lay down so I held her and listened to her purr and cried.

I told her I did love her, just wasn't sure if she loved me. I said I know she doesn't like cuddling, and doesn't like purring, but it would be nice if she would do it once in a while, every so often, just so I know she loves me, because I have no one else anymore. I said I know that I'm not him and I can't play with her the way he did, and I know that she's not him and she can't cuddle with me the way he did, but maybe we could do the best we could...? Because we have no one else.

She saw a harvestman crawling across my floor (we've had a lot of these lately) and I said yeah, you probably want to go chase the harvestman, just let me enjoy this while I have the chance?--because I don't know when I'll get the chance again. And I know I was holding her but she didn't kick or fight to get away, and her purr was so faint I couldn't hear it anymore, but I could feel it in her throat.

The harvestman crawled up on a paper towel and I said yeah, you want to go chase that, distracted already. But I'm glad you came in here, because I really need this right now, and there's nobody else for me to get it from.

The harvestman disappeared under the paper towel and by now she wasn't purring anymore so I let her go. I'll come say goodnight to you in a few minutes. Just...maybe come back here and purr tomorrow night, or the night after, just, sometimes, maybe? So I know that _somebody_ loves me?

At least it was something.

...I don't know, though. Probably just a fluke. :crying:


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Stomach ache. Anxiety. Guilt. Can't concentrate on anything. Feelin' good, as usual.


----------



## Kevin001

Not too hot. Head hurts, still kinda tired, a million things to do, emotionally drained, etc.


----------



## Crisigv

A feeling of peace right now. I know it won't last, but I will enjoy it. I missed this feeling.


----------



## globelion

grateful. a little restless. a little bored/empty. but trying to focus on the grateful feeling


----------



## kivi

Sad. I started using Paxil a month ago. I have a really important exam this week. I feel like I won't get "that" good point. Also there'll be huge anxiety because of my relatives' judgements.


----------



## Andre

Crisigv said:


> A feeling of peace right now. I know it won't last, but I will enjoy it. I missed this feeling.


Hi Crisi! I'm happy to see you have some peace.

I still have some paralyzing anxiety about what to write about for class tomorrow. Just a paragraph, but I want it to be something of particular interest to me, as the assignment requests.


----------



## Crisigv

Rufus said:


> Hi Crisi! I'm happy to see you have some peace.


Thank you.


----------



## catcharay

Going to America in 2.5 wks. Something is wrong because I feel a huge resistance.


----------



## Crisigv

A bit sad


----------



## naptime

Crisigv said:


> A bit sad


:squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

naptime said:


> :squeeze


Thanks


----------



## stewartmays1

feel low today just when i start to feel better it all go's to crap


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted, anxious


----------



## Andras96

I wish I had friends. I wish I didn't care so much about it.


----------



## Prince Adrian

​


----------



## Wanderlust89

Annoyed of so many chicks making that stupid duck face in their instagram photos.


----------



## MoonxChild

^ lol. 
Overall feeling okay with life, very optimistic that the future holds good things. I just wish interacting with people came easier to me. IM going through a major break up currently, but even so the worst part about it is my inability to connect to others and form meaningful friendships. It would make my situation much easier. It seems to happen so naturally for others. Sigh.


----------



## KelsKels

Sick with a horrible headache between my eyes.. I think it's because I drank an energy drink for the first time in months without caffeine.


----------



## MoonxChild

I thought by this point in time Duck Face selfies must be outlawed in most parts of the world.


----------



## uziq

I'm so terribly devastated and sad. I don't know what I want to do. It's either force myself to sleep, get drunk and pass out, or slash my arms. I ****ing hate this, I ****ing hate this. I hate being hurt. I'm tired of being let down. Please, whatever omniscient entity is listening, please stop this suffering.


----------



## slowlyimproving

Content.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm half okay. That's better than most days.


----------



## Crisigv

uziq said:


> I'm so terribly devastated and sad. I don't know what I want to do. It's either force myself to sleep, get drunk and pass out, or slash my arms. I ****ing hate this, I ****ing hate this. I hate being hurt. I'm tired of being let down. Please, whatever omniscient entity is listening, please stop this suffering.


I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. Sorry that I can't help you to feel better either. I say force yourself to sleep. It's the most healthy. Please don't hurt yourself, it only makes it worse.


----------



## MoonxChild

uziq said:


> I'm so terribly devastated and sad. I don't know what I want to do. It's either force myself to sleep, get drunk and pass out, or slash my arms. I ****ing hate this, I ****ing hate this. I hate being hurt. I'm tired of being let down. Please, whatever omniscient entity is listening, please stop this suffering.


Firstly I know how much it sucks to feel that way! Ugh. It's horrible. I'm a sensitive and emotional person, so things always effect me on a deeper level than many others. It's so hard to cope sometimes. When I'm tired of drinking, and tired of hurting, but also tired of trying to be numb I like to think of this quote by Bob Marley:

"You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice."

I hope whatever you're going through gets better!!! Much love and light!


----------



## uziq

Crisigv said:


> I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. Sorry that I can't help you to feel better either. I say force yourself to sleep. It's the most healthy. Please don't hurt yourself, it only makes it worse.


Thank you. I did end up falling asleep without incident. I feel a bit better today at least.


----------



## Crisigv

uziq said:


> Thank you. I did end up falling asleep without incident. I feel a bit better today at least.


Good, I'm glad.


----------



## Andras96

I need to stop coming to this forum, like seriously. I only get more depressed on here, I'm barely ever of use to any discussion, I feel so disconnected even from other users on here, I'm forgotten about faster than... no, just as fast as people forgot about me irl. *sigh* What point is there in me being here again, people?

Edit: freakin' typo I had to correct... now everyone here prob hates me even more, if they caught it.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I wish I could just disappear.


----------



## The Library of Emma

Sad, fatigued, weirded out, a little numb... I've had such a bizarre day. And it's only 3


----------



## Crisigv

I'm bored, which leads me to be more depressed than if I was working or something.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

****


----------



## Ominous Indeed

KelsKels said:


> Sick with a horrible headache between my eyes.. I think it's because I drank an energy drink for the first time in months without caffeine.


That's sinusitis, or at least it sounds like it.

Try to push your head under water, and if it hurts like hell between your eyes you have it.


----------



## MoonxChild

Andras96 said:


> I need to stop coming to this forum, like seriously. I only get more depressed on here, I'm barely ever of use to any discussion, I feel so disconnected even from other users on here, I'm forgotten about faster than... no, just as fast as people forgot about me irl. *sigh* What point is there in me being here again, people?
> 
> Edit: freakin' typo I had to correct... now everyone here prob hates me even more, if they caught it.


I'm new here, but don't feel that way! What's up? What's new in your life?


----------



## MoonxChild

I'm feeling pretty good tonight. Had a good night at work, feel like I'm kinda starting to fit in. Now I'm drinking some Moscoto and listening to some Bon Iver. 🍷😊


----------



## Xenagos

Tired. I've had bronchitis this whole week, holy hell and I thought having a cold was bad. This is torture.


----------



## kivi

Anxious. I have an appointment with my psychologist.


----------



## Andras96

MoonxChild said:


> I'm new here, but don't feel that way! What's up? What's new in your life?


Not much. Just woke up. Nothing really new or interesting. You?


----------



## Aleida

:frown2:


----------



## Andras96

Lol, I'm such a loser. I can't make friends to save my freakin' life (believe me, I've tried), so I only come on here to whine to everyone about it. Yes, whine, because I know everyone's sick of it, don't deny it. I want to just ****ing disappear forever without a ****ing trace, since I can't even kill myself without screwing THAT up.


----------



## Andras96

SamanthaStrange said:


> I wish I could just disappear.


Please take me instead.


----------



## MoonxChild

Just scrolling through my newsfeed and see a pic of my ex out looking really happy. Ugh. So I'm feeling a few different ways right now.


----------



## Jetlagg

tired, my teeth hurt, wishing I got started working earlier so I'd be done now


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

relieved, worried... yah know, confused like a stupid woman.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad


----------



## Flora20

I feel okay mostly


----------



## Kevin001

Flora20 said:


> I feel okay mostly


I'm glad you're feeling better these days. :squeeze


----------



## Canadian Brotha

sick


----------



## ShatteredGlass

calm.

it's nice.


----------



## Crisigv

miserable and bitter


----------



## Spindrift

Restless and homesick.


----------



## uziq

I ****ing hate my life man. I ****ing hate it.


----------



## Perkins

I like how mods are deleting my posts now, especially when the content matter is harmless and innocuous while the threads themselves are not and yet they still stand.


----------



## uziq

I'm tired of crying myself to sleep. WHEN WILL I GET A BREAK?


----------



## KILOBRAVO

i feel pretty good. i have heard from her again and will be excited to know what's up. and i seem to be progressing quite well with the work for the company. so things are not too bad.


----------



## Zosie92

Pretty bleh. When I finish my shift tomorrow morning I have to go to my appraisal meeting and since I haven't really cared about my job in a while I a) can't be bothered and b) know it's going to be a terrible conversation. The fact that last time I was in the office I was suspended doesn't help either. (Ugh ranting)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Worried about my friends.


----------



## Xenagos

Lonely.


----------



## mike91

Extremely depressed dont even want to get out of bed today


----------



## AllTheSame

Very tired but otherwise awesome.


----------



## tea111red

i feel so hated and like a nuisance.


----------



## rdrr

relaxed


----------



## SleeplessInKy

I feel pretty good today. Im not too anxious. I just wish there was something I could get out of the house and do. I hate leaving the house just to wander aimlessly and not really have any destination in mind. I start work soon so, I'm wanting to live up the free time.


----------



## puffysnow

I feel so guilty about breaking up with my ex almost 2 years ago still, everyday. 

He was such a good guy, but he was losing himself. He was adapting to me in everything. He didn't do what he wanted to do anymore, he only did what I wanted to do. I wanted him to live for himself, I wanted him to be happy. He didn't see any friends anymore, he didn't do any of his hobbies anymore. He was always around me and he was always tired, he would just sleep through the day.

Every time when I talked to him and said this wasn't healthy he always just waved it off. I couldn't get through to him. I couldn't take it anymore. Watching him like that was too painful.

When I broke up with him, he was broken. I had never seen him cry before. I don't want to make people unhappy.

I love him so much, I still do. 

I'm so sorry.


----------



## Crisigv

a disgrace
pathetic
a loser 
unwanted
fat ugly
worthless garbage
hopeless
forgotten
and more...


----------



## tea111red

garbage


----------



## Mur

Dandy


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

embarrassed...always hehe


----------



## Depo

Tipsy. I'm telling myself, I won't have another drink. But then I have another and I'm like damn. It's not easy to be an alcoholic. :eyes


----------



## Mur

Depo said:


> Tipsy. I'm telling myself, *I won't have another drink. But then I have another and I'm like damn*. It's not easy to be an alcoholic. :eyes


On a Tuesday though?!!


----------



## twistix

Feeling guilty, lonely, hungry, & foolish.


----------



## rdrr

Fatigued but relaxed


----------



## Depo

A.A said:


> On a Tuesday though?!!


I drink on almost a daily basis, what were you expecting? :lol


----------



## Mur

Depo said:


> I drink on almost a daily basis, what were you expecting? :lol


Damn, on a near daily basis! Your poor liver....I bet you have to drink quite a bit to actually get drunk hehe.


----------



## Depo

A.A said:


> Damn, on a near daily basis! Your poor liver....I bet you have to drink quite a bit to actually get drunk hehe.


Yeah, I'm drinking rum straight from the bottle. It makes me feel I'm only 24 and living in the caribbean once again. Now I'm almost 28 and have no one to share my life with. Not that it bothers me, but I'm only human. :smile2:


----------



## IlIlIlIrlpoloIlIlIlI

Brain Fog


----------



## Mur

Depo said:


> Yeah, I'm drinking rum straight from the bottle. It makes me feel I'm only 24 and living in the caribbean once again. Now I'm almost 28 and have no one to share my life with. *Not that it bothers me, but I'm only human.* :smile2:


I'm not judging or anything, just curious. I'm a nosy little ****er hehe, enjoy your experience at the very least, kudos.


----------



## The Library of Emma

Nothing i have to say is really worth saying. Everything i think, speak, write, post...any of it...makes no real difference.


----------



## The Library of Emma

Feeling disillusioned and rather pathetic.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm alright, a little groggy I guess. I have to leave soon to get some paperwork done and whatnot.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Crappy.


----------



## claustropho

I think one can only ascertain disillusion when the story is no longer sad, no longer bears the tinge of frustrated hope. But then again, are those short breathy outbursts laughter or just mirorred despair mocking itself?


----------



## Brujita

I feel like a failure. I wish I was a better person.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely and useless


----------



## HenDoggy

Trippy


----------



## AllTheSame

Awesome sauce. I have been on my new phone for well over 12 hours today....work email, personal email, internetz, texting work and my kids and family, games, all day long and it is still at 40% battery, and it's so fast. So, so glad I bought a new phone.


----------



## tea111red

:afr


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I've been feeling really down for the better part of the last two days.


----------



## CptHello

Today I am O.K.


----------



## Crisigv

blah, with a touch of headache


----------



## Kevin001

I'm feeling great right now. This girl just pretty much opened up to me and wants me to be her one n sh*t. I don't know about that but this chick is damn near perfect. So I'm a high right now.


----------



## StephCurry

Kevin001 said:


> I'm feeling great right now. This girl just pretty much opened up to me and wants me to be her one n sh*t. I don't know about that but this chick is damn near perfect. So I'm a high right now.


That's ****ing great to hear I'm really happy for you man. I hope it works out! :smile2:


----------



## Kevin001

StephCurry said:


> That's ****ing great to hear I'm really happy for you man. I hope it works out! :smile2:


Um......thanks I guess. Just talking for now. I talk to a lot of girls just haven't had one really want me like this one . I think she might look better than your wife. :laugh:


----------



## Crisigv

like my mental health is going down the drain


----------



## uziq

ill, fatigued, whatever

don't care anymore


----------



## herk

bit better than i have lately


----------



## Owl-99

Pretty sad, my cat of 12 years died today of renal failure.


----------



## Mur

Tired


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## CptHello

Apprehensive about seeing _her _tomorrow.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm miserable and a bit angry and frustrated.


----------



## thomasjune

My neck hurts, I have a serious headache and I can't wait to die.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## catcharay

Fat, hopefully weight gain is not a side effect of my bc. Doesn't help that I eat eggs benedict w hollaindaise sauce in all its buttery-ness, as well as bacon sides. And for dinner: more bacon. Just crave pasta so much. Like cabonara, but that will be too far for today. Probably depressed. Want to be alone so I don't have to worry about loved ones getting in my sphere of negative influence. 

Positive - went to markets (bought tarts and caramel slices), walk and cafe


----------



## uziq

kinda dissociating. i just want to escape. emotions are too much for me. love and happiness remain elusive. despair is too easy to sink in to. a consistent neutral / positive mood is completely intangible. the horrors, rejection, and reminders of my ineptitude constantly assault my senses, but joy and content seem unattainable.


----------



## tea111red




----------



## TryingMara

Pathetic.


----------



## Depo

Fine... Kind of. If it wasn't for the booze and the pills I think I'd feel pretty bad. I've drank almost every day of this month and I'm starting to feel indifferent towards people. It's like alcohol has become the center of my life. Even the people I've been with in the last month have ended up taking a drink with me. I'm aware that I'm an alcoholic, I've caused trouble in my house (my dad punched me on the face and choked me on the floor two weeks ago cause I wanted to buy more beer), I've had trouble going to work (I missed a day this month.), the people I meet notice my addiction and end up leaving me. Weirdest thing is it doesn't make me feel bad, of course it makes me feel guilty, but I'm just neutral. I don't care anymore.


----------



## Kevin001

Depo said:


> Fine... Kind of. If it wasn't for the booze and the pills I think I'd feel pretty bad. I've drank almost every day of this month and I'm starting to feel indifferent towards people. It's like alcohol has become the center of my life. Even the people I've been with in the last month have ended up taking a drink with me. I'm aware that I'm an alcoholic, I've caused trouble in my house (my dad punched me on the face and choked me on the floor two weeks ago cause I wanted to buy more beer), I've had trouble going to work (I missed a day this month.), the people I meet notice my addiction and end up leaving me. Weirdest thing is it doesn't make me feel bad, of course it makes me feel guilty, but I'm just neutral. I don't care anymore.


:hug


----------



## Crisigv

Bored. And I'm not going to fall asleep for another few hours, thanks to waking up late.


----------



## HenDoggy

I feel like I'm going to burst


----------



## railcar82594

Miserable. wondering if I'm dying.


----------



## uziq

tired, disassociated.

i'm kinda just floating through everything while being completely unattached

can't say whether i hate or like this. everything is fake, everything is ephemeral. i feel like i'm just executing socially acceptable functions in order to maintain this fake persona that gives the illusion that i'm a normal dude, but really i'm completely detached and just letting the hourglass run its course.


----------



## Andras96

I don't want to do this anymore. I feel exactly how I did two years ago when I started college. I'm tired of this so much. I just want to stop.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

2nd rate


----------



## jsgt

Like I have to throw up. I hate that I have to eat when I'm not even hungry...just to keep headaches away. I'd like to just pop pills all day one right after another if it'd just give me some relief...for one ****ing day.


----------



## AnxiousGuy9

Anxious about the coming work week. I know I can do this, the anxiety about my new job just gets pretty bad sometimes. But I keep telling myself if I don't take risks I'll never get anywhere. I could very well be coasting along at my last job, instead of having quit to start this one. It's no doubt much easier but then there's no reward there, no chance for advancement either. I just talked to my boss about where we're going to meet tomorrow and that went well. Going out of town again with him tomorrow (but not far) and should be back by early afternoon.

I got with the help desk to get my corporate email set up today, bought an OtterBox (a really good case) for my phone, got a few more dress shirts.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored/restless


----------



## kesker

I feel like I should make the call.


----------



## bewareofyou

Graduating high school is really bittersweet but I'm so happy to be done. So, now how do I adult?


----------



## Andre

I have some anxiety and fatigue.


----------



## Crisigv

a little confused, to go along with the usual crap


----------



## uziq

sad


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, sad, lonely, and bored.


----------



## tea111red

depressed.


----------



## AnxiousGuy9

Missing her. Missing the way I used to spoon her every night. Missing so, so many things about her. I still think about her every day, sometimes every hour of every day I just keep it more to myself now. I actually went out with my kids this year on the anniversary and I did it to distract myself, and, well, it worked a little bit.

I also miss the woman I met up with from this site last year. And I miss the woman I used to talk to years ago. She was another borderline, like me. And we talked quite a bit, for quite a while. I know we trusted each other. She told me things about her that she said she's never told anyone, and I trusted her also. I just think in the end we both got...idk, scared I guess. Two borderlines together is just usually a very bad idea, even as good friends never mind something more than that. And I miss other people here I used to talk to that I guess bridges have just been burned with. Oh well. I tried. Ffs.

I miss a lot of the very, very awesome people that used to be on this site. I'm not going to name them because you're not supposed to do that here and I don't care to anyway because most people here wouldn't probably remember them anyway. It was way back in 2010. I just....miss some of them. I'm assuming they went on to better lives, to get over this. But I also know that some of them did not. And that's heart breaking. It also just suck knowing this site is never, ever going to be that way again apparently. It's never going to be a community again like it was. Ffs, we even had a psychiatrist that used to sign on here and volunteer his services lol. Well, allegedly. He sure did give a whole, whole lot of good advice.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

AnxiousGuy9 said:


> Missing her. Missing the way I used to spoon her every night. Missing so, so many things about her. I still think about her every day, sometimes every hour of every day I just keep it more to myself now. I actually went out with my kids this year on the anniversary and I did it to distract myself, and, well, it worked a little bit.
> 
> I also miss the woman I met up with from this site last year. And I miss the woman I used to talk to years ago. She was another borderline, like me. And we talked quite a bit, for quite a while. I know we trusted each other. She told me things about her that she said she's never told anyone, and I trusted her also. I just think in the end we both got...idk, scared I guess. Two borderlines together is just usually a very bad idea, even as good friends never mind something more than that. And I miss other people here I used to talk to that I guess bridges have just been burned with. Oh well. I tried. Ffs.
> 
> I miss a lot of the very, very awesome people that used to be on this site. I'm not going to name them because you're not supposed to do that here and I don't care to anyway because most people here wouldn't probably remember them anyway. It was way back in 2010. I just....miss some of them. I'm assuming they went on to better lives, to get over this. But I also know that some of them did not. And that's heart breaking. It also just suck knowing this site is never, ever going to be that way again apparently. It's never going to be a community again like it was. Ffs, we even had a psychiatrist that used to sign on here and volunteer his services lol. Well, allegedly. He sure did give a whole, whole lot of good advice.




I am sorry that you miss your connections.

It is sad not to keep those, even if they aren't the most constructive things ever.

Me?

I'm okay, I guess. I just want freedom and acceptance and connection like the rest of y'all. There are too many rules.


----------



## AnxiousGuy9

sarafinanickelbocker said:


> I am sorry that you miss your connections.
> 
> It is sad not to keep those, even if they aren't the most constructive things ever.
> 
> Me?
> 
> I'm okay, I guess. I just want freedom and acceptance and connection like the rest of y'all. There are too many rules.


I guess that's what all of us want. We're all on the same team, really if you think about it. I mean ffs we all suffer from anxiety, we all come here for the same reasons, for advice, just to vent, or for someone to just hear us.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

AnxiousGuy9 said:


> I guess that's what all of us want. We're all on the same team, really if you think about it. I mean ffs we all suffer from anxiety, we all come here for the same reasons, for advice, just to vent, or for someone to just hear us.


Yeah, you got that right.


----------



## Kevin001

Pretty damn good tbh. I'm getting crazy attention right now.


----------



## kivi

Anxious. Today, I will go on a short boat tour with people who I only know for a few months. Also I couldn't sleep well tonight. Anyway, at least I will get a chance to take photos of a nice scenery.


----------



## tea111red

i'm so devastated and feel inconsolable.


----------



## Crisigv

tea111red said:


> i'm so devastated and feel inconsolable.


 :hug I know it won't help, but I'm sorry you are feeling so bad.


----------



## tea111red

Crisigv said:


> :hug I know it won't help, but I'm sorry you are feeling so bad.


thanks. i wish this stupid sadness would go away


----------



## Crisigv

tea111red said:


> thanks. i wish this stupid sadness would go away and that the person would stop making me suffer. they refuse to be understanding.
> 
> i'm just sooooooooooooooooooooo frickin sad.
> 
> it's such a horrible feeling.


It's a very horrible feeling, I know. Sometimes we just have to separate ourselves from those who make us feel this way. Even if we don't want to. I don't get why people have to hurt others, I'll never understand.


----------



## tea111red

Crisigv said:


> It's a very horrible feeling, I know. Sometimes we just have to separate ourselves from those who make us feel this way. Even if we don't want to. I don't get why people have to hurt others, I'll never understand.


yeah, i don't think this person even feels bad for the hurtful things he's done. that's just who is he is and he's just living his life. he can't change the bad things about himself. he's just "uncontrollably" selfish, he says.


----------



## Crisigv

tea111red said:


> yeah, i don't think this person even feels bad for the hurtful things he's done. that's just who is he is and he's just living his life. he can't change the bad things about himself. he's just "uncontrollably" selfish, he says.


Then you need to move on, he sounds toxic. If he is going to be "uncontrollably selfish" then he is only going to screw himself over. He will learn that eventually, hopefully. I hope it's not anyone from here, because you would think that he would be a little more understanding. Then again, we have all kinds.


----------



## StephCurry

invisible
misunderstood
alienated
angry
upset
dejected
unwanted
rejected
confused


----------



## tea111red

Crisigv said:


> Then you need to move on, he sounds toxic. If he is going to be "uncontrollably selfish" then he is only going to screw himself over. He will learn that eventually, hopefully. I hope it's not anyone from here, because you would think that he would be a little more understanding. Then again, we have all kinds.


i wish he would just become more compassionate, less stubborn, and more forgiving of others when they are not perfect. i still care for him. deep down, i really don't wish ill on him. it's hard for me to want to give up on friends i care a lot about. it makes me sad that he isn't that same way, though.

i feel he will have to learn some hard lessons, too, eventually, if he doesn't listen to warnings. i feel sad that he will experience that pain.


----------



## tea111red

i'm sure if he sees all this stuff he'll be sure to keep up his punishment. the silent treatment will never end.


----------



## Crisigv

tea111red said:


> i wish he would just become more compassionate, less stubborn, and more forgiving of others when they are not perfect. i still care for him. deep down, i really don't wish ill on him. it's hard for me to want to give up on friends i care a lot about. it makes me sad that he isn't that same way, though.
> 
> i feel he will have to learn some hard lessons, too, eventually, if he doesn't listen to warnings. i feel sad that he will experience that pain.


If he's going to change, unfortunately it's gotta be for himself, or he has to realize it himself. It's okay to keep caring for him, it's in our nature to care, but we have to stand back for our own sake. I wouldn't wish pain on anyone either. I would want them to realize that they are going down the wrong path (or whatever the case may be). I really hope he isn't being outright mean though. That's not good at all.

Sorry, I'm really bad at advice and consoling.


----------



## tehuti88

Worried.  Later today my mother's going to get some stents (sic?) replaced to increase blood flow to her kidneys, because they're getting close to failing. She already had this surgery some months back, but apparently the stents didn't work. So now they're doing it again. It seemed to be a relatively simple surgery since she stayed only one night, but still. Why didn't it work the first time? Will having had this surgery already complicate having it a second time? What if it doesn't work yet again? What will happen if her kidneys fail?

I would give her one of my own, but I don't know if I'm a match, and I hope to get bladder removal surgery when I'm done with this PTNS treatment, and that will of course mess a little bit with my kidneys (disconnecting the ureters from the kidneys and attaching them to an internal pouch).

I can't make it without my parents. Both of them.  I spend more time with my dad since he's almost always at home, and he's the one who tries to calm me down when I get upset, but my mother's the only reason I get out of the house and out in public, and she's the one I can vent to, even if only a little bit. I need both of them.

I thought about posting in the prayer request thread, but I'm not Christian, which I know doesn't really matter since I still believe in God (plus my mother _is_ Christian)...but I'm just not big on praying, myself. The most I can tell people is I'll think of them and hope things go well. Which isn't the same as prayer, but by now I feel like God doesn't care what I request of Him, and for me to request prayers when I can't offer them myself is presumptuous. I feel like it's presumptuous for me to even pray, period. The prayers I do offer are more like desperate compulsions ("Please, please, please...") than actual prayers.

I really hope this works this time.


----------



## tea111red

Crisigv said:


> If he's going to change, unfortunately it's gotta be for himself, or he has to realize it himself. It's okay to keep caring for him, it's in our nature to care, but we have to stand back for our own sake. I wouldn't wish pain on anyone either. I would want them to realize that they are going down the wrong path (or whatever the case may be). I really hope he isn't being outright mean though. That's not good at all.
> 
> Sorry, I'm really bad at advice and consoling.


nah, your advice and consoling definitely helped. thank you.


----------



## Crisigv

tea111red said:


> nah, your advice and consoling definitely helped. thank you.


Oh okay, good.  I really did try, and I do care. I hope the sadness lets up a little.


----------



## tea111red

Crisigv said:


> I really hope he isn't being outright mean though. That's not good at all.


oh, he was definitely outright mean at times (not saying i was perfect either, but it seems like he'd aim for the jugular at times). this silent treatment bull**** right now feels cruel as hell, too (it's not the first time he's done it, either). it's technically a form of abuse, actually.


----------



## tea111red

Crisigv said:


> Oh okay, good.  I really did try, and I do care. I hope the sadness lets up a little.


Thank you.  Me, too...


----------



## Crisigv

tea111red said:


> oh, he was definitely outright mean at times (not saying i was perfect either, but it seems like he'd aim for the jugular at times). this silent treatment bull**** right now feels cruel as hell, too. it's technically a form of abuse, actually.


Wow, what an a**. Totally unnecessary. I agree that the silent treatment is torture. It helps to talk things out, not ignore it.


----------



## HenDoggy

tehuti88 said:


> Worried.  Later today my mother's going to get some stents (sic?) replaced to increase blood flow to her kidneys, because they're getting close to failing. She already had this surgery some months back, but apparently the stents didn't work. So now they're doing it again. It seemed to be a relatively simple surgery since she stayed only one night, but still. Why didn't it work the first time? Will having had this surgery already complicate having it a second time? What if it doesn't work yet again? What will happen if her kidneys fail?
> 
> I would give her one of my own, but I don't know if I'm a match, and I hope to get bladder removal surgery when I'm done with this PTNS treatment, and that will of course mess a little bit with my kidneys (disconnecting the ureters from the kidneys and attaching them to an internal pouch).
> 
> I can't make it without my parents. Both of them.  I spend more time with my dad since he's almost always at home, and he's the one who tries to calm me down when I get upset, but my mother's the only reason I get out of the house and out in public, and she's the one I can vent to, even if only a little bit. I need both of them.
> 
> I thought about posting in the prayer request thread, but I'm not Christian, which I know doesn't really matter since I still believe in God (plus my mother _is_ Christian)...but I'm just not big on praying, myself. The most I can tell people is I'll think of them and hope things go well. Which isn't the same as prayer, but by now I feel like God doesn't care what I request of Him, and for me to request prayers when I can't offer them myself is presumptuous. I feel like it's presumptuous for me to even pray, period. The prayers I do offer are more like desperate compulsions ("Please, please, please...") than actual prayers.
> 
> I really hope this works this time.


I'm sorry to hear this. I'm also not the praying type but I'll be keeping her in my thoughts. I hope she's going to be fine after the procedure. :smile2:


----------



## tea111red

Crisigv said:


> Wow, what an a**. Totally unnecessary. I agree that the silent treatment is torture. It helps to talk things out, not ignore it.


I know!!! I have been trying to talk stuff out, resolve stuff. and come to be a place where we can both be happier. I can't even express how profusely I have apologized to this guy over stuff. Some stuff I have even wondered if I should have even bothered to apologize for. He would just dismiss my apologies or not even acknowledge them a lot of the time. My attempts at being nice were and have been met w/ the "cold shoulder" a lot, too. It's like he wants to stay angry w/ me or takes pleasure in it.

A lot of the time this guy made me feel like I was just too much of a peon to be worth his time, too. And when I would say I valued him as a friend.....oh, how dare I. I was just being too dang dependent on him and using him as a "crutch," in his opinion. It was like it was an insult to him that I valued talking to him and his opinion, cared about him, and wanted to be his friend.


----------



## Crisigv

tea111red said:


> I know!!! I have been trying to talk stuff out, resolve stuff. and come to be a place where we can both be happier. I can't even express how profusely I have apologized to this guy over stuff. Some stuff I have even wondered if I should have even bothered to apologize for. He would just dismiss my apologies or not even acknowledge them a lot of the time. My attempts at being nice were and have been met w/ the "cold shoulder" a lot, too. It's like he wants to stay angry w/ me or takes pleasure in it.
> 
> A lot of the time this guy made me feel like I was just too much of a peon to be worth his time, too. And when I would say I valued him as a friend.....oh, how dare I. I was just being too dang dependent on him and using him as a "crutch," in his opinion. It was like it was an insult to him that I valued talking to him and his opinion, cared about him, and wanted to be his friend.


Hmm, not sure why or how this guy bothers to enter any kind of relationship or friendship, if all he is going to do is put you down. He has some issues of his own to sort out it seems. Maybe someone else is treating him like that, and he is just lashing out. Who knows.


----------



## tea111red

Crisigv said:


> Hmm, not sure why or how this guy bothers to enter any kind of relationship or friendship, if all he is going to do is put you down. He has some issues of his own to sort out it seems. Maybe someone else is treating him like that, and he is just lashing out. Who knows.


Yeah, I *think* he was criticized for being too dependent on someone else and using them as a crutch. Now it feels like he is wanting to project his traits/tendencies onto me because I want to be friends w/ him and actually communicate more than every few months, lol. He's made me feel like it's a bad thing to want to nurture the friendship.

But, I mean, I don't want to come off like I have been perfect. I have lashed out at him for stuff, but have apologized a lot and tried my best to correct my behavior since I value the friendship. I have acknowledged to him that things I have done in the past were not right, but he refuses to accept my apologies, it feels like. I hate how he wants to stay mad.

I know stuff has been strained, but I would still like to try to mend things. I hate being on bad terms w/ people. It's better to have a friend than an enemy, imo.

Anyway, you are probably sick of hearing about this, lol. Thanks for listening and your feedback.


----------



## AnxiousGuy9

Cautiously optimistic. I'm ready this morning, as ready as I can be. I'm all about kicking *** and taking names later at my new job. I have no regrets and I'm glad I made the decisions I made, I just wish I could get past this learning stage. But it will happen. It's happening already. I'm making progress. So far I'm convinced this was a really good move for me.


----------



## sweetmystery

Feel hopeless, like will I ever be able to communicate with people without feeling dumb, inferior and paranoid or ever meet someone who I can connect with to call a friend :sigh.


----------



## Crisigv

tea111red said:


> Yeah, I *think* he was criticized for being too dependent on someone else and using them as a crutch. Now it feels like he is wanting to project his traits/tendencies onto me because I want to be friends w/ him and actually communicate more than every few months, lol. He's made me feel like it's a bad thing to want to nurture the friendship.
> 
> But, I mean, I don't want to come off like I have been perfect. I have lashed out at him for stuff, but have apologized a lot and tried my best to correct my behavior since I value the friendship. I have acknowledged to him that things I have done in the past were not right, but he refuses to accept my apologies, it feels like. I hate how he wants to stay mad.
> 
> I know stuff has been strained, but I would still like to try to mend things. I hate being on bad terms w/ people. It's better to have a friend than an enemy, imo.
> 
> Anyway, you are probably sick of hearing about this, lol. Thanks for listening and your feedback.


No, it's okay. I don't mind listening to people vent, if it helps them to feel better. But yeah, let him deal with his problems. Even though he hasn't responded to you, I'm sure he's seen the messages and knows you would be there for him. Let's just hope he changes his mind.


----------



## tea111red

Crisigv said:


> No, it's okay. I don't mind listening to people vent, if it helps them to feel better. But yeah, let him deal with his problems. Even though he hasn't responded to you, I'm sure he's seen the messages and knows you would be there for him. Let's just hope he changes his mind.


Yeah. I hope he stops ignoring.


----------



## tea111red

I hate that I "can't" express stuff I want to say and clear up misunderstandings directly. I hate that I have been unable to convey sincerity through words enough by text and having my intentions judged wrong. I also hate being thought as something that I am not. It's really frustrating. Very frustrating and suffocating. No wonder I have anxiety right now.


----------



## Polar

My shoulders feel tense.

Someone, please give me a massage. Preferably a female.


----------



## okgoodbye

Great! Today was a lovely day and I'm just so happy.


----------



## Andras96

Another wave of sadness. I don't want to deal with this anymore. I wish I could go back to how I was a year ago; less energy than now, sleeping every negative thought away. If people don't want to be associated with me in any way, then fine. But, I just want to give up peacefully.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

bored & anxious. feel like death lel


----------



## Kanova

Stressed the **** out. I have my emergency medical licensing in a month, and I have a test prep thing for firefighting. A test bank of....Forty _*thousand*_ questions involving math, mechanical knowledge, memory, psychological and public relations. Need to be done that by September. Honestly, I think I am ****ing ****ed.

Also I need to start working out again, it's been almost two months since I have done any sort of activity. I used to be able to do 100 push ups, now I can do like, 10. I used to run a mile in under 7 minutes, now I can't run lol.


----------



## Zozulya

Furious and numb at the same time. Fortunately there are some appropriate places to vent.


----------



## uziq

hollow.


----------



## Andras96

Useless. Oh I forgot, it's because I am.


----------



## LostinReverie

Up and down. Had a good performance review. She even let me stop going to staff meetings for now. Depression still going strong, though, with frequent crying spells. New bc pills are helping a little to stabilize my hormones. They also seem to lessen my anxiety, but that may be temporary.


----------



## endlessabyss

Couldn't be better. I woke up at 8 AM to the sound of my neighbor drilling on the other side of the wall for 4 hours straight, someone is stealing my mail and it's too hot for my liking -_-


----------



## Mur

Tired, I really need to start sleeping more than 4 hours a night.


----------



## coeur_brise

I feel like screaming right now. It's not pretty.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Like I cut a yardstick with a rotary tool and have had the residual stink of friction-burned yardstick wood in my nostrils for hours.


----------



## tea111red

Bored.


----------



## Crisigv

a bit blah


----------



## thomasjune

I'm very mentally tired. It seems like I'm never able to relax when I'm around people- not even the people that I'm close to anymore. It feels like my SA has got the best of me and I'm just so fcking tired.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## millenniumman75

agitated


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling awesome. I'm on my own for the first time tomorrow at work. I'm headed to Lake Livingston this weekend with my kids and parents, and I'm getting a paid day off. Ffs it doesn't get any better than this.


----------



## Crisigv

AllTheSame said:


> Feeling awesome. I'm on my own for the first time tomorrow at work. I'm headed to Lake Livingston this weekend with my kids and parents, and I'm getting a paid day off. Ffs it doesn't get any better than this.


Glad you are having such a good time. I'm happy someone around here is doing okay, for the moment anyways.


----------



## AllTheSame

Crisigv said:


> Glad you are having such a good time. I'm happy someone around here is doing okay, for the moment anyways.


TY. Hope you're doing alright as well.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

actually not terrible about myself for a change, lol.  refreshing.


----------



## uziq

horrible! cya tomorrow!


----------



## tea111red

aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh

arghhhhhhhhh


----------



## ddani

Feeling very very sad and anxious.


----------



## Crisigv

Not so tired, which isn't good. I didn't want to wake up late tomorrow.


----------



## Cashel

Fatigued

a bit drunk


----------



## Andras96

oh, what's the point. I'm useless on here, useless irl and to everyone I try to meet. I'd be better off dead.


----------



## Andras96

blah, blah, blah, blah, nobody cares


----------



## theDiff

Andras96 said:


> I'd be better off dead.


The good news is that you'll find out eventually. No need to be in a hurry. Meanwhile, you've got a friend here who hopes you're okay.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

meh. consciously aware that i'm weak and pathetic but i lowkey don't really care, lmao. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I want to kill myself


----------



## Crisigv

Very lonely and sad.


----------



## AllTheSame

Crisigv said:


> Very lonely and sad.


I hope you're OK. Crisigv, I've responded to your threads several times before but I've never (or very, very rarely) every gotten a response back, so I'm not sure if you even saw them. Maybe I just missed your responses, idk. But I do identify with a lot of what you post, and the struggles you're going through. I hope you feel better. I hope you find something that helps, whether it's meds, or therapy, or whatever.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Conflicted.


----------



## Crisigv

AllTheSame said:


> I hope you're OK. Crisigv, I've responded to your threads several times before but I've never (or very, very rarely) every gotten a response back, so I'm not sure if you even saw them. Maybe I just missed your responses, idk. But I do identify with a lot of what you post, and the struggles you're going through. I hope you feel better. I hope you find something that helps, whether it's meds, or therapy, or whatever.


I don't even remember anymore what I've said (or not said) and what others have said. I have an awful memory. I'm sorry that I don't always respond. I'm sure it's a big reason why people on here don't bother too much with me. I don't do it on purpose. Most days, it's very hard to write even a couple words. Only the bad thoughts come easily, i'm afraid. Thank you for caring.


----------



## catcharay

Stopped yaz 3 days ago as it made me depressed and I dont want to be trialling bc while overseas. It made me fatigued as well. But yest. I cried again for nothing. 

Positive - sushi, got a cheap suitcase.


----------



## harrison

I'm lonely and I miss my family. It makes me sad to think my son's moved out of home now and my ex-wife is all alone. I wish we could go back to how we were before.

I'm also very worried about a good friend of mine - she's a lovely girl that has a very low opinion of herself and I think she's gone back to a guy that treats her very badly indeed. I don't know how to convince her that she deserves a lot better than him.


----------



## Andras96

I deserve to ****ing die, and anyone that disagrees will never understand


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad, so so sad. What do I do? :cry How am I supposed to feel?


----------



## uziq

I am dead inside. I've long been shattered into fragments of fragments. I'm laying on my bed, staring at nothing. Every bad decision I've made today whirrs in my head constantly. It makes me sad, but I'm too ****ed up to care, or cry, or do anything else but continue to lie here until my body shuts off.


----------



## Kevin001

I think I might be getting sick, I hope not. That would be horrible because I'm the type of person that shuts down when sick. No work, don't want to go anywhere, etc.


----------



## jess4




----------



## ThatOneMormonMomma

Feeling decent for the first time in awhile. Not getting my hopes up for it to stay this way, but it's still a good break.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm miserable and angry, and I have no control over my emotions. Everyday is a roller coaster.


----------



## tea111red

Self-destructive. I've felt this way all day.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, depressed, and lonely.


----------



## tea111red

stuck.....trapped in a hole. i need help getting my life going again.


----------



## turtleteddy12

*terrified*

I'm not feeling the greatest at all. I am dreading tomorrow. I need someone to talk to and understand me.


----------



## tea111red

i feel lonely.


----------



## Smiddy

I just lost a friend so I'm feeling really sick in my heart atm.


----------



## Mur

Despite some bs I had to deal with earlier today I'm alright.


----------



## tea111red

Bored.


----------



## HenDoggy

Trying not to get these intrusive thoughts to affect me. But it a struggle.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty good.  seem to be doing ok with the work..


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry, spaced out, restless, depressed, anxious, etc


----------



## uziq

bored


----------



## okgoodbye

Paranoid and scared.


----------



## Mur

Relaxed


----------



## Crisigv

Annoyed and awkward


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, depressed, unwanted, misunderstood, and totally alone.


----------



## Depo

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious, depressed, unwanted, misunderstood, and totally alone.


That's how I always feel. But my friends: benzos, SSRIs and booze make me feel normal. I feel fine now. :3


----------



## McFly

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious, depressed, unwanted, misunderstood, and totally alone.


We never talk but I think you're cool :hug


----------



## StephCurry

McFly said:


> We never talk but I think you're cool :hug


I second that. @SamanthaStrange is very cool. 

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way Samantha.  I hate the fact that I can't do anything to help out people who feel like this.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depo said:


> *That's how I always feel.* But my friends: benzos, SSRIs and booze make me feel normal. I feel fine now. :3


I'm sorry you feel that way. :squeeze



McFly said:


> We never talk but I think you're cool :hug


Thank you. :squeeze



StephCurry said:


> I second that. @*SamanthaStrange* is very cool.
> 
> I'm so sorry you are feeling this way Samantha.  I hate the fact that I can't do anything to help out people who feel like this.


Thank you, I appreciate your kindness. :squeeze


----------



## Andras96

Fireworks... maybe if I'm lucky enough, one will fly through the window and right into my head!


----------



## tea111red

scared...


----------



## Prince Adrian

*happy twilight-zone-like fiction*























obsession no. 1, come to me..
I'll try not to run this time!
























although I do still need much more clarity.. 

*
hey whoa this is the first time ever I use this mood! hope it's a *SURE GOOD* sign! :grin2:


----------



## Gorgoroth9

Physically sick, weak, and drained.


----------



## Zandy12

Anxious because in a few days im going to Canada to see my relatives. Hopefully I can last a month without looking crazy .


----------



## Wings of Amnesty




----------



## AllTheSame

^ I'm biting my tongue right now lmao. Anyways.

I'm tired. I spent hours in the car this weekend and drove hundreds of miles with my kids. We had lots of fun though, it was awesome. My parents are keeping my kids tonight to watch the fireworks at Lake Livingston (I'm back home because I have to work in the morning). My parents are at the RV resort for another week. My kids and I also went to the Astros v Mariners game this afternoon with my sister and her family, all the cousins. It's been a busy weekend.

Ffs I'm ready for some alone time.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

^curious.

...it's too bad that good friendships die or never manifest themselves for stupid reasons.


----------



## Mur

Bueno


----------



## AllTheSame

sarafinanickelbocker said:


> ^curious.
> 
> ...it's too bad that good friendships die or never manifest themselves for stupid reasons.


 Yes, it is, I agree. (and this isn't aimed at you or anyone on this site, obviously, just saying....)

I think that for myself, the first question I have to ask is what was the "stupid reason" as you put it. I think that if they stab you in the back, and then ask you why you're bleeding, then that's one thing. If it's a misunderstanding, then that's obviously something else entirely.

There is most definitely a difference.

People could not continue or choose to end friendships for a number of reasons obiously. And there are most certainly two sides to every story, as there always is.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm okay at the moment. That can change any second.


----------



## catcharay

Happy got valium for just in case moments. Flight tomorrow to america and feel a little neutral. Bummed I only have $300US to spend/help my folks. Still have errands and must apply for this full time job. Good news is I have my mums pasta bake and spring rolls today.

edit: there goes pre america diet


----------



## Mur

Anxious


----------



## Kevin001

Super anxious. I start work in an hr. I already told my mom to be on standby in case I freak out and walk out of that place. I'm hoping for the best though.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Kevin001 said:


> Super anxious. I start work in an hr. I already told my mom to be on standby in case I freak out and walk out of that place. I'm hoping for the best though.


Good luck, I hope it goes well. :squeeze


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

AllTheSame said:


> Yes, it is, I agree. (and this isn't aimed at you or anyone on this site, obviously, just saying....)
> 
> I think that for myself, the first question I have to ask is what was the "stupid reason" as you put it. I think that if they stab you in the back, and then ask you why you're bleeding, then that's one thing. If it's a misunderstanding, then that's obviously something else entirely.
> 
> There is most definitely a difference.
> 
> People could not continue or choose to end friendships for a number of reasons obiously. And there are most certainly two sides to every story, as there always is.


"Stupid reasons" - All of the above.  Misunderstandings, petty arguments that for whatever reason couldn't be dropped, hurt feelings, in some of our cases introversion and social anxiety, and lack of communication. Lack of communication probably tops the list and encompasses misunderstanding .

By the way, I was curious why you were biting your tongue over that cat pic.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Kevin001 said:


> Super anxious. I start work in an hr. I already told my mom to be on standby in case I freak out and walk out of that place. I'm hoping for the best though.


Hey, let us know how it goes.


----------



## HenDoggy

My heads ****ed


----------



## AllTheSame

Kevin001 said:


> Super anxious. I start work in an hr. I already told my mom to be on standby in case I freak out and walk out of that place. I'm hoping for the best though.


Good luck to you, Kevin. Hope it goes well.

~sent from my GalaxyS4


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Ravenous


----------



## EmyMax

Tired. Had a ****load of work to do today to repair a client's tablet.
Can't wait to go to sleep.


----------



## puffysnow

I hate myself so much, I just want to disappear.


----------



## AllTheSame

sarafinanickelbocker said:


> "Stupid reasons" - All of the above. Misunderstandings, petty arguments that for whatever reason couldn't be dropped, hurt feelings, in some of our cases introversion and social anxiety, and lack of communication. Lack of communication probably tops the list and encompasses misunderstanding .
> 
> By the way, I was curious why you were biting your tongue over that cat pic.


I agree, totally. It really is a goddamned shame most of the time, I've seen it happen (as everyone here has, I'm sure) to others on this site and it's happened to me. When misunderstandings happen (or miscommunication) it's really kind of heartbreaking to watch because you realize the whole thing could have been avoided.

It's like when I watch my thirteen year old twins arguing with each other sometimes. I just want to scream "Stop it!!! FFS!!!! It doesn't matter who rides shotgun on the way there!!! Who cares! You love each other, you'll switch seats on the way back so get the *** over it lol". I don't scream that, of course, but I want to. What happens is, is that they're looking for a reason to be butt-hurt. They're looking for a reason to be offended. They're so caught up in their righteous indignation, and in being a martyr, that they have completely lost sight of what even started the argument in the first place sometimes. Smh. And that happens on this site, too. Without a doubt.

I don't want to say what I was thinking over the cat pic. It's probably not a good idea to say (type) it out loud lmao. It's really pretty crass and rude, anyway....I don't mean it in that way but it could be taken that way. It just made me think of something funny, not about anyone in particular, just....meh....nevermind lol. I have a very sick and twisted sense of humor :grin2:


----------



## rockyraccoon

Sad


----------



## uziq

absolutely awful

very unfortunate series of events that has left me drained of all positive feeling


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

@AllTheSame Oh yes, kid fights. "sigh" haha

It is sad.

Hmm, I thought of something that you may have been thinking when you saw the cat. Whatever it is, you're probably right not to type it. :b

Cheers!


----------



## Crisigv

lonely


----------



## Smiddy

Shattered into a million pieces.


----------



## Mur

Irritated.....


----------



## uziq

i would like to die.


----------



## Crisigv

Amused and crazy


----------



## Kevin001

SamanthaStrange said:


> Good luck, I hope it goes well. :squeeze


It was intense but thanks for the hug.



sarafinanickelbocker said:


> Hey, let us know how it goes.


It was long and a lot of info. to take in.....surprised I survived, lol.



AllTheSame said:


> Good luck to you, Kevin. Hope it goes well.
> 
> ~sent from my GalaxyS4


Thanks. No panic attacks so I'm good.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Kevin001 said:


> It was intense but thanks for the hug.
> 
> It was long and a lot of info. to take in.....surprised I survived, lol.
> 
> Thanks. No panic attacks so I'm good.


Yeah, first days... Glad you survived.


----------



## Kevin001

sarafinanickelbocker said:


> Yeah, first days... Glad you survived.


Thanks. I hope today goes smoother.


----------



## XRik7X

So so, I should do more productive things


----------



## uziq

adrift


----------



## Mur

Better


----------



## StephCurry

Extremely dejected.


----------



## AllTheSame

Tired. I need to got to bed and I will, soon. I'm stressed about a staff meeting tomorrow morning. ****** 8:00am. A**holes, who has a staff meeting at 8:00am.

Also stressed about my oldest daughter. And my ex-wife.

Also stressed about a friend I used to have on here, that just showed up again out of the blue.

Also stressed about my other two kids. I wonder about my youngest daughter and if she has an eating disorder.
I also worry about my son. He....does not seem to have any problems, whatsoever. So what is his problem? He's 13???
I also worry about my dad's retirement. It's coming up. Is he ready? I know he's financially secure, but is the old man ready for it?

I worry about my oldest daughter going into college soon....

I worry about my retirement....
I worry about my job.....
I worry about my ex-wife, ffs....

ffs....
ffs
ffs
I worry about that woman in ways that people can only imagine


----------



## Crisigv

I'm feeling a bit better than yesterday. But it's probably because I worked all day. I have two days off in a row now. I don't have anything planned, unfortunately. I'll see what happens, but I can guess.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Kevin001 said:


> Thanks. I hope today goes smoother.


Me too. Did it?


----------



## Crisigv

AllTheSame said:


> Tired. I need to got to bed and I will, soon. I'm stressed about a staff meeting tomorrow morning. ****** 8:00am. A**holes, who has a staff meeting at 8:00am.
> 
> Also stressed about my oldest daughter. And my ex-wife.
> 
> Also stressed about a friend I used to have on here, that just showed up again out of the blue.
> 
> Also stressed about my other two kids. I wonder about my youngest daughter and if she has an eating disorder.
> I also worry about my son. He....does not seem to have any problems, whatsoever. So what is his problem? He's 13???
> I also worry about my dad's retirement. It's coming up. Is he ready? I know he's financially secure, but is the old man ready for it?
> 
> I worry about my oldest daughter going into college soon....
> 
> I worry about my retirement....
> I worry about my job.....
> I worry about my ex-wife, ffs....
> 
> ffs....
> ffs
> ffs
> I worry about that woman in ways that people can only imagine


Jeez, how has your head not exploded yet? Good for you for pushing through everything. A lot of that stuff is normal life stuff, so at least you're not the only one dealing with it.


----------



## AllTheSame

Crisigv said:


> Jeez, how has your head not exploded yet? Good for you for pushing through everything. A lot of that stuff is normal life stuff, so at least you're not the only one dealing with it.


Idk. I guess I push things that need the most attention to the top. Sometimes they explode on my phone on their own. Ffs man. This is insane sometimes.

I hope you're doing alright, or as alright as you can be. I meant what I said earlier, if you need someone to talk to I'm here. I'm a parent of a 15 year old girl, and 13 year old boy / girl twins. I have almost heard it all. I may not have the best advice but I can give you my advice. My kids are not angels. I have seen all of the nine circles of hell, believe me. They have dragged me through them all. Ffs. So I might be able to help :smile2:


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

I'm sitting here wondering what is wrong with my head. 

There ain't nothin' wrong with my head. We're just nuts and trying to swim through this pool of confusion. All of us. :troll


----------



## Crisigv

AllTheSame said:


> Idk. I guess I push things that need the most attention to the top. Sometimes they explode on my phone on their own. Ffs man. This is insane sometimes.
> 
> I hope you're doing alright, or as alright as you can be. I meant what I said earlier, if you need someone to talk to I'm here. I'm a parent of a 15 year old girl, and 13 year old boy / girl twins. I have almost heard it all. I may not have the best advice but I can give you my advice. My kids are not angels. I have seen all of the nine circles of hell, believe me. They have dragged me through them all. Ffs. So I might be able to help :smile2:


Yes, the most important things get priority, that always how it is. Thank you very much for your support. Sometimes I get so bad, that I don't realize people actually care. When I calm down, I do. Maybe the fact that I probably won't get to have kids is a good thing, lol.


----------



## Mur

Excellent, time to get some rest; it's getting late....


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

wishing for flight


----------



## Kevin001

sarafinanickelbocker said:


> Me too. Did it?


Um.....just as hard. Tomorrow will be my last day working there for the week. Its just a lot to remember.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Yeah, it takes time. You'll get it though.  A week-long break eh? Nice.


----------



## tea111red

Hoping other doors open soon.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

tea111red said:


> Hoping other doors open soon.


Here here!


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Oh that's cool. *deletes "if so, I probably won't last long, lol." Just for fun, let's stay optimistic. What do you say? haha


----------



## tea111red

lol, I will make an effort to be more optimistic.....


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

tea111red said:


> lol, I will make an effort to be more optimistic.....


 *high five*


----------



## natsume

Very terrible. I don't know if I'm enough for the person I love anymore.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

natsume said:


> Very terrible. I don't know if I'm enough for the person I love anymore.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Well, they get to decide that for themselves, don't they?

I'm sorry that you're feeling terrible. Feel better.


----------



## ActuallyBrittany




----------



## natsume

sarafinanickelbocker said:


> Well, they get to decide that for themselves, don't they?
> 
> I'm sorry that you're feeling terrible. Feel better.


True, but it's okay. And thank you. I may just be overreacting and putting myself way too down a little too much. I think so negative of myself that I end up paranoid and feeling like they think the same too. I gotta stop that.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm still feeling okay.


----------



## uziq

i want to throw my phone into the ocean and have every social media account i own permanently disposed of


----------



## AllieG

I would say I'm fine now even though I shouldn't be. Some things that would have really hurt me in the past, aren't bothering me too much right now. I guess that is an improvement. I'm learning not to be such a sensitive b**ch.


----------



## catcharay

Tired only slept 7 hrs in 48 hrs. Tmrw we are going to little Saigon and I get to eat pho , havent had it in a yr so I had to go to America to eat pho hehe. My sister n her husband are still working at nearly 10 pm at home:/ astonished.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## noydb

Jealous and insecure.:mum


----------



## uziq

conflagrating


----------



## Kevin001

Ok I guess. But yesterday at work I almost had a moment. The song that I used to listen to every night when I self-harmed came on. I couldn't just leave either because the music plays everywhere and I had to stay at my post. It brought back memories though, I felt tears coming but I knew I couldn't let myself get vulnerable at this new job this quick. I held it in but I almost broke.


----------



## Crisigv

Today isn't going to be as good as yesterday. Still laying in bed and I'm already miserable.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, depressed, lonely, tired, grumpy, the usual.


----------



## tea111red

like garbage.

thinking about my financial problems makes me want to escape this life, too.


----------



## Crisigv

headache, and the usual miserable feelings that come around the weekend.


----------



## tea111red

lol, i'm back to believing there is no one out there for me.


----------



## Crisigv

tea111red said:


> lol, i'm back to believing there is no one out there for me.


I believe there is, we just may never meet them. (That didn't help, did it?)


----------



## tea111red

Crisigv said:


> I believe there is, we just may never meet them. (That didn't help, did it?)


yeah...maybe that's it.

or i'll meet them, but they'll be married/not single.


----------



## Crisigv

tea111red said:


> yeah...maybe that's it.
> 
> or i'll meet them, but they'll be married/not single.


Yeah, timing can really suck sometimes. But don't give up, there's so many people in this world.


----------



## noydb

tea111red said:


> lol, i'm back to believing there is no one out there for me.


Well, I believe enough for the both of us, so it's all good. :yes


----------



## noydb

Oh and I'm feeling nervous coz someone is coming to pick up an item I put up online. I'd rather still be sleeping... :bah


----------



## RenegadeReloaded

Pretty good, I believe that 5-HTP is finally starting to have some effects. Or is it....


----------



## Crisigv

Wow, I just crashed. I just got really down, really fast.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

@Kevin001 I hope you didn't break. 
@Crisigv What's wrong with today?  I hope that you're wrong and today will be better (or was) AND that your headache went or will go away...and darn that crash. :/ Feel better.
@SamanthaStrange Yeah, sounds familiar. I hope that changes soon for ya.
@tea111red I'm sorry that you have financial problems at the moment. haha Oh yes, let's plan on you finding the perfect "married" guy. :b Nah, you'll find someone sweet who's into you and _not _married.
@noydb may it be quick and painless. 
@RenegadeReloaded Hoorah for feeling pretty good. Cute kitty too!


----------



## JustThisGuy

My thumb hurts. The one that was shattered fused together with a bone taken out of my wrist. Yeah, that one. It's weird being unable to bend your thumb. And then you get frustrated.

Mentally? I had a bit an anger wave earlier. I was muttering to myself like a insane person to people from my past.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Let's pretend for a moment that I'm socially inept *cough*. How did you want me to respond to your question? Was there a point to it, or were you just trying to make conversation?

Eh, proof next Fri. if you have doubts about moi.


----------



## tea111red

Crisigv said:


> Yeah, timing can really suck sometimes. But don't give up, there's so many people in this world.





noydb said:


> Well, I believe enough for the both of us, so it's all good. :yes





sarafinanickelbocker said:


> @tea111red I'm sorry that you have financial problems at the moment. haha Oh yes, let's plan on you finding the perfect "married" guy. :b Nah, you'll find someone sweet who's into you and _not _married.


Thanks to all of you for the encouragement.  Maybe my outlook will be better if I manage to go to this class when it starts and keep taking classes or something. I don't know how or where else I'll meet anyone. I can't think of any other places I'd feel comfortable enough to go to where there are people/men. That's one of my biggest problems.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@*tea111red* @Crisigv @noydb

 :hug

@*sarafinanickelbocker*

You are such a lovely person.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

tea111red said:


> Thanks to all of you for the encouragement.  Maybe my outlook will be better if I manage to go to this class when it starts and keep taking classes or something. I don't know how or where else I'll meet anyone. I can't think of any other places I'd feel comfortable enough to go to where there are people/men. That's one of my biggest problems.


Yeah,you'll be fine.  Best of luck.


----------



## princessrose

Really foolish and discouraged. Whenever I attempt to socialize it never goes well and I end up getting rejected and feeling like an idiot. I'm just so sick of trying.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

@ANX1

Ya know I think the same about you.  Enjoy your evening.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

sarafinanickelbocker said:


> @*ANX1*
> 
> Ya know I think the same about you.  Enjoy your evening.


Awww, thank you. :hug

Also thank you for your kind words. 

But I still pale in comparison to you, others on here. :nw

Basically you and others are on another level of kindness.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad. I hate myself.


----------



## rdrr

terrible, like i am nothing.


----------



## StephCurry

Very upset and angry at the world. Nothing makes sense anymore...


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

StephCurry said:


> Very upset and angry at the world. Nothing makes sense anymore...


Man, life is so ****ing pointless and exhausting.


----------



## tea111red

rdrr said:


> terrible, like i am nothing.


naaaahh.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like a leper


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Stupid, regretful, and bitter. Sad, depressed, and lonely, always.


----------



## Mur

Tired


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Anxious and twitchy, as if someone is about to kill me. Vague sadness likewise drifts along my conscious mind.

School.

It starts tomorrow.

And my suffering starts with it. I can hardly wait to uncover the horrors that will plague my existence during the coming 10 weeks.


----------



## Plasma

I feel compelled by intense desires I just cannot comprehend or put into words.

It was a breezy night yesterday; decided to go out into the backyard. 
The stars were high above, and as I stared deep into the void, I felt this intensity which overtook my mind.

What do I want? Is it love?
I so desperately want to know.


----------



## Kascheritt

Like a failure, which I am.


----------



## AllTheSame

Meh. Just. Meh.

I work all week to look forward to the weekend lol, and then when I'm not with my kids I do nothing. Nothing. I don't push myself, I don't go out, I'm not even on any dating websites ffs....I mean how lazy and apathetic can one person be?

I'm a huge disappointment in myself. Ffs. I always feel like I could be so much more than I am, I feel all this disgust, this self hate with how little I've done and at the same time I do....nothing about it. It's Sunday afternoon. I could have....

- gone out on a first date this weekend
- gone to a bar
- signed up for a dating website, like I think about doing constantly, yet never do
- called my ex from last year, she's probably willing to hang out, and she is probably willing to have a FWB relationship, ffs
- signed up for eventsandadventures, or whatever the *** that site is called, for single people
- called my friends from my last job, one of them still emails me, I got an email from her today I haven't responded to ffs

I'm so, so pathetic. I want to push myself but I feel like if I do I'm going to land flat on my face. *sigh*


----------



## f1ora

scared out of my mind


----------



## LostinReverie

sad


----------



## Kevin001

f1ora said:


> scared out of my mind


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like ****. Might be getting sick again


----------



## AllTheSame

Totally infatuated, totally crushing. Ffs. Watching Jennifer Lawrence on Jimmy Fallon. Talking about her new hair, her tattoo ("one more time, with feeling!!!" lmao), God the woman is amazing she makes me want to be a better man, and I don't even know her irl. Ffs.  I would feel blessed just to be able to interview her, it'd be awesome just to hold open a door for her, have a simple conversation with her. Goddammit I think I'd cream in my blue jeans if she even said a word to me. I'd be speechless. I'd be so, so lovestruck and so instantly stupid, my IQ would drop 100 points and I'd just start drooling probably and I'd get this glazed over glassy look in my eyes and just never be the same again, so it's a good thing that'll never happen. Ffs.


Edit: and now she's playing twister with Jimmy Fallon. Lucky *******. Omg.


----------



## catcharay

Relieved, just did a phone interview for a job that I really want to have when I get home from my holiday. 
Realistically it was probably just some practicing effort but what a nice notion if I did gain success, after so long.

My fortune cookie today said "you will have a fine capacity for the enjoyment of life". So I must have got it. No denial here. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## kivi

Nervous


----------



## Prince Adrian

despite the fierce ocean poisoning (& fight against it) & the very recent cream storm just now, in other aspects I'm feeling better. many other kinds of fog are lifted. thank goodness.

*N O V U S M U N D U S 3 . 0

*_freedom is n o w . ._*

*


----------



## Mur

Relaxed


----------



## AllTheSame

.


----------



## AllTheSame

.


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling tired but otherwise in a pretty good mood, work is going really well. Like with anything this is a lot more complicated once you really get into it. Lots of details, lots of different things that demand attention and absolutely cannot be overlooked. Talked to my boss twice this morning. Talked to his boss once. We're busy as ***, overloaded, but otherwise it couldn't be going better. 


~sent from my GalaxyS4


----------



## Fever Dream

Both mentally and physically tired. Depressed, usually sorrowful.


----------



## catcharay

Hungry. I went to fatburger and got a salad then I had a taste of my mums burger and it was really tasty, very fat like promised so I wish I ordered my own. Saving myself for buffet. 
Miss bf and also feel lonely :/


----------



## Rainy Cakes

catcharay said:


> Hungry. I went to fatburger and got a salad then I had a taste of my mums burger and it was really tasty, very fat like promised so I wish I ordered my own. Saving myself for buffet.
> Miss bf and also feel lonely :/


Wow I did the exact same thing today. Except I have no idea what a fatburger is. My mom got a burger which she never does and I got some salad. She left the table and I took a tiny bite of hers. She came back with a burger for me. She took a bite of mine to be 'even' and it was only fair. lol


----------



## noydb

ANGRY. ****ing hate my coworkers.


----------



## harrison

Tired and I have a head cold. I don't really like winter.


----------



## LostinReverie

noydb said:


> ANGRY. ****ing hate my coworkers.


Yeah, coworkers can suck, and there isn't a lot you can do about it while maintaining professionalism. I've had my share of coworker feuds and it isn't fun. Some people you just don't get along with and you still have to be around them. What's worse is a client you have to work with every day. Sometimes I just want to quit and be homeless (that is not advice). Hope things get better for you.


----------



## noydb

LostinReverie said:


> Yeah, coworkers can suck, and there isn't a lot you can do about it while maintaining professionalism. I've had my share of coworker feuds and it isn't fun. Some people you just don't get along with and you still have to be around them. What's worse is a client you have to work with every day. Sometimes I just want to quit and be homeless (*that is not advice*). Hope things get better for you.


Hehe. Thank you! Even when you try to remain as neutral and non-offensive as possible, there are some people who just _need_ to create drama it seems. :roll


----------



## kivi

I feel like taking several antidepressants. (I know it won't work and I won't do this, though)


----------



## KILOBRAVO

happy. I recently got contacted and tole the work so far i had done they impressed with, and as a result got invited to the express section ( which I accepted) where now there is more work available


----------



## catcharay

Poor. Airport sandwiches x 4 = 52. If I hadn't felt hurried I would've looked for cheaper options. Traveling is not as fun on a tight budget 
Actually basic pesto chicken sandwiches for 12 is a bit much 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## CptHello

Kind of ****ty atm, just feeling down today. I'm optimistic about tomorrow though.


----------



## EmyMax

Very happy.
I'm happy that, in within 2 days, I will be seeing my auntie from Australia.
It's been a very long time since I saw her.
Gotta think what present should I get for her birthday.


----------



## welcome to nonexistence

I'm not.


----------



## cosmicslop

I'm rife with neurosis. I worry and overanalyze too much.


----------



## tea111red

A-okay.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

ANX1 said:


> Awww, thank you. :hug
> 
> Also thank you for your kind words.
> 
> But I still pale in comparison to you, others on here. :nw
> 
> Basically you and others are on another level of kindness.


Oh, pish tosh!  I think not. I hope that your weekend is going well ANX1.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

sarafinanickelbocker said:


> Oh, pish tosh!  I think not. I hope that your weekend is going well ANX1.







 

I think so.  

It's going well so far, but very quiet. :sigh


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

ANX1 said:


> I think so.
> 
> It's going well so far, but very quiet. :sigh


That's got to be John Cleese. haha

I'm glad it is good. Quite isn't optimal though? What would you like to be doing?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

sarafinanickelbocker said:


> That's got to be John Cleese. haha
> 
> I'm glad it is good. Quite isn't optimal though? What would you like to be doing?


I believe so, he was in this TV program (first time I saw John) -






Thank you. Sometimes optimal, depending on if was busy.


----------



## Rainy Cakes

Alright I suppose. Better than last night. Wishing I had a constant stream of happiness though. So many things to do and get done and I'm so mentally exhausted all the time.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Silly and serious all at the same time. *stares intently* (I think we know) So it goes...

FIN


----------



## uziq

pretty fine


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sluggish


----------



## uziq

a bit sadder now.. annoyed at myself for needing constant reassurance.


----------



## LostinReverie

cosmicslop said:


> I'm rife with neurosis. I worry and overanalyze too much.


I used to do that a lot. I hope whatever you're fretting over gets better.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm ok. I'm off work today so that is good. Plus I got a nice PM this morning. :laugh:


----------



## catcharay

Hungry. Finally had clam chowder, apparently the finest according to a US radio station. That was nearly 7 hrs and now I'm so hungry but I'm trying to pace myself for bigger better food that's on offer here


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## ShatteredGlass

ok i feel like all i rly want to do is eat sugary cereal and die


----------



## LostinReverie

ShatteredGlass said:


> ok i feel like all i rly want to do is eat sugary cereal and die


Best way to die ever.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

LostinReverie said:


> Best way to die ever.


yes indeed it is objectively the Ideal Way 2 Die™


----------



## Skeletra

I feel empty, and on the verge of falling apart.
Two days ago, I got accepted to college. At first that seemed really surreal and it sunk in the next day. I was happy. For a while. My sweet little kitty dissapeared. I assume she is dead. She's been gone for 21 hours. She's never gone more than 3 hours tops. Probably some "bored poor" kid got a hold of her and tortured her, or maybe someone threw her in the trash, or she's road killed. Whatever happened I'm about 110% sure she's dead. I don't know if I can handle that. I somewhat feel like it's my fault, for getting so happy. I know it's irrational as ****, but I can't help it. I miss her so much. I can't cope. I know she's "just a cat" and all, but for me she is family.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

Also, please don't quote all this (just a snippet of it) because I will delete it eventually.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Skeletra said:


> I feel empty, and on the verge of falling apart.
> Two days ago, I got accepted to college. At first that seemed really surreal and it sunk in the next day. I was happy. For a while. My sweet little kitty dissapeared. I assume she is dead. She's been gone for 21 hours. She's never gone more than 3 hours tops. Probably some "bored poor" kid got a hold of her and tortured her, or maybe someone threw her in the trash, or she's road killed. Whatever happened I'm about 110% sure she's dead. I don't know if I can handle that. I somewhat feel like it's my fault, for getting so happy. I know it's irrational as ****, but I can't help it. I miss her so much. I can't cope. I know she's "just a cat" and all, but for me she is family.


 That sucks. I'm sorry. I hope she comes back.


----------



## coeur_brise

Like 99℅ fail 1℅ screwed.


----------



## harrison

I'm feeling good again. I went to this thing for Rare Book Week at our State Library here in Melbourne again today and Jesus us (we) book people are a weird bunch. So many old fuddy duddies but they really love their books. It was great to see it - and they make me feel quite sane in comparison.


----------



## Skeletra

WillYouStopDave said:


> That sucks. I'm sorry. I hope she comes back.





Demon Soul said:


> snip


Edit: She's back! Omg I'm so happy.
She was just locked inside a garage, poor little baby <3


----------



## Yer Blues

Headache\ear ache.:frown2:

Hoping I don't have to work today.


----------



## cosmicslop

LostinReverie said:


> I used to do that a lot. I hope whatever you're fretting over gets better.


Thanks. How did it become something you used to do? I can't imagine being able to have control over how I worry. The only "coping mechanism" I have is to wait until it passes, and thank god it passed.


----------



## Ominous Indeed




----------



## Cashel

Worthless.


----------



## Bokuto

Bored.Got nothing to do right now Ü-Ü


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling anxious about my job, but very cautiously optimistic at the same time.

Feeling excited about meeting a friend this weekend when this week is finally done, someone I haven't seen in quite a while. She's an awesome friend 

I'm also missing my kids, most of all, because I had to reschedule my visit with them from last weekend for this trip. And next weekend is out because they have plans. I also miss my parents, and....just being in my apartment. There's something very strange about being this far from home....and I'm really not that far, it just feels like it...I'm only 150 miles from home but it may as well be halfway around the world. This is just very strange to me...I've done this before with another job but living out of a hotel far from home for entire week (and possibly two) sucks in some ways and it's not something I will ever really get used to. I'm absolutely sure of that.

It's also strange to me how the people I've encountered here have been.....just really, really nice. Really open, really friendly, very sweet, ffs there's a lady in the convenience store where I go that I buy gas from that calls me "sweetie". People don't refer to people in that way as often in Houston as they do here in my experience, or at least I've never come across it much, I mean it is pretty common in the south but I'm a little further into the true "south" now I guess, lol, so I guess that's it. And I know she doesn't mean anything more than just being friendly when she says it, I just think it's very cool but it also makes me realize I'm not at home because that doesn't seem to be as popular in Houston lol. It also sucks not having what's familiar around me, ya know? I'm in a city where I know....absolutely no one. And everything is unfamiliar to me, and some things are really different here. The roads, the traffic, the food, the restaurants, everything in Louisiana is a lot different from Texas. Even the way people talk, even the accents can be different. And it's cool, I like it, it just also triggers my anxiety a bit because it's very unfamiliar and very different to what I'm used to. I just try to remind myself of that.


Ffs, if I ever actually went to a foreign country I'm pretty sure I'd have a fatal anxiety attack, a heart attack or something.


----------



## ActuallyBrittany

Annoyed.


----------



## CptHello

Like ****.


----------



## LostinReverie

cosmicslop said:


> Thanks. How did it become something you used to do? I can't imagine being able to have control over how I worry. The only "coping mechanism" I have is to wait until it passes, and thank god it passed.


Aging. That's the one good thing about it. It just kind of slows you down.


----------



## januarygirl

Tired


----------



## Marakunda

I do not envy people who are older then me. If I want to kill myself at this age, I can’t imagine how you’re feeling.

Quarter life crisis? More like death ****ing coming for me.


----------



## noydb

Tired!!!!! And nervous. I am putting off messaging someone who needs support right now. Because once I do I have to probably commit to physically meeting up with her. I won't know what to say or do. I am like an emotionless robot when it comes to consoling people even though I'm _not_ and I'm truly empathetic-- I just haven't figured out how to express that. :rain


----------



## Kevin001

Very anxious/worried. Hopefully not for long.


----------



## LostinReverie

Please, somebody kill me. I'm begging you.


----------



## Camelleone

I've been here since 2011.
its already been 6 years ! 
and people I saw here at that time I never saw them here anymore, (except the moderator Milleniumman). 
I'm quite envy that they have left this site (or inactive) because they are busy in their real life.


----------



## jxoxo

sad, tired, anxious, upset, worried and everything negative just not happy lol but i can still laugh. there's just no reason to because at 5pm i'll be going to work and deal with customers again and i'll possible make mistakes AGAIN uuuuuuuugggggggggggggggggh this life. If only there was a way to retreat to the mountains and live there forever or live by the sea


----------



## Moxi

Too hot to even de-stress with tea.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Skeletra said:


> Edit: She's back! Omg I'm so happy.
> She was just locked inside a garage, poor little baby <3


 That's really cool. So many times these stories do not end well. It's nice to see that it does once in a while.



LostinReverie said:


> Please, somebody kill me. I'm begging you.


 I'm sorry whatever is making you feel that way is doing what it's doing. Can't really say much else I guess.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry, spaces out


----------



## The Library of Emma

I feel...i suppose i feel contented. Yes. i feel contented.

Maybe even a little happy. 

:eek


----------



## reliefseeker

Dejected


----------



## ActuallyBrittany

Embarrassed.


----------



## AllTheSame

Relieved, and really happy with how things went this week. I have a few loose strings I need to take of tomorrow through emails but I'm off tomorrow. I'm going out of town to see a friend Saturday. Ffs, I need a weekend. I'm tired, and I think I'm tired mostly from the anxiety this week has caused with my new job, getting acclimated with how they do things, and evaluations, and learning how to fly solo this week, which, I did. I'm so "on" all the time when I'm at work, I'm going 140mph. Now I need to switch gears and just relax this weekend, and that's hard for me to do sometimes. But my boss said again that I did a good job this week. We're good. He said to have a good weekend. Can't get any better than that.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Fine with a touch of annoyed.

Like seriously, you're stupid. :b


----------



## Flora20

Lonely and a little sad :/ can't help it..


----------



## KelsKels

Bored and lonely. Sucks


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## ActuallyBrittany

Tired of being let down by others.


----------



## EmyMax

Exhausted by the excessive heat and humidity.


----------



## uziq

anxious


----------



## AllTheSame

I like this. A whole lot. I think I need to print this out, have it near my laptop, commit it to memory. Seriously.


----------



## uziq

worried ****ing sick.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Ready to take on the world, which I'd like to enjoy and I still sort of do, but I know a crash is around the corner.


----------



## tea111red

ofpgyuf3okdp394875gyrbhcjieof8ug5yf dkocki9u5vhy4 8fe9uj.kvieohiygb3rvj iouhy5bjvue 89fgjutbir 9ubhj3nir dv97y8gubhg5ut8g 8y7gubvh3j3nvi ahyuahhAHHHHHHHHHHHH.


----------



## Kevin001

^^ what the hell, lol. 

I'm on such a high right now.....I have no idea how long this will last.


----------



## tea111red

^yeah, i want to destroy myself and am frustrated because i still have some desire to live at the same time so i typed a bunch of random numbers and letters.


----------



## Kevin001

tea111red said:


> ^yeah, i want to destroy myself and am frustrated because i still have some desire to live at the same time so i typed a bunch of random numbers and letters.


Still having issues? Ugh. If my faith wasn't that strong I would be pissed at God for having this continue.


----------



## tea111red

Kevin001 said:


> Still having issues? Ugh. If my faith wasn't that strong I would be pissed at God for having this continue.


i was okay for a few days, but now i am down again. my life is so meaningless, unfulfilling, and monotonous. i am really struggling to find a purpose for living. i feel useless. or that i can't put the things i am good for to any use anyway.


----------



## Kevin001

tea111red said:


> i was okay for a few days, but now i am down again. my life is so meaningless, unfulfilling, and monotonous. i am really struggling to find a purpose for living. i feel useless. or that i can't put the things i am good for to any use anyway.


Just continue to pray about it. :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

Kevin001 said:


> Just continue to pray about it. :squeeze


thanks.


----------



## Kevin001

tea111red said:


> thanks. yeah....i know one of the things i could do is stick to my plan of going back to school, but i don't know how i will make it through it w/ having such a low amount of energy and a lack of enthusiasm for life. this problem is what got me into trouble the last time i was in school. i just couldn't push myself anymore. i was too depressed.


Oh cool, going to school would be nice. Um maybe you will meet a cute guy at school? That would get you a little more excited about life, lol. You're a great person, believe in yourself you got this.


----------



## Xenagos

Hollow. I just feel so empty. It's my birthday. None of my friends or family even remembered. If something as simple as my birthday can't be remembered, would they even miss me if I was gone.


----------



## tea111red

Xenagos said:


> Hollow. I just feel so empty. It's my birthday. None of my friends or family even remembered. If something as simple as my birthday can't be remembered, would they even miss me if I was gone.


wow.  i would feel the same way.


----------



## TonyH

Drained. Like I have given everything my all and need to hibernate for a while xD. Oh well, should be right. I hope.


----------



## AllTheSame

Worried. Concerned about a friend, but also excited about seeing her tomorrow (no, today) if I can ever get a few hours of sleep. ***. All I do is worry.


I'm worried about my 13 year old because she is really popular at school, and she...knows how to play, flirt, and....no, no, no....I cannot think about her in that way, but that's what my son and her mom keeps telling me. She is the bomb. *** me, man, *** me....what....am I gonna do. She doesn't talk to me about boyfriends...I've only found out about past bfs because my son has told me....and then when they break up....he says she doesn't gaf...she just moves on. She has another boy waiting. That worries me. It really, really worries me.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

sad... i've fallen into the inevitability of fate, as usual. i vaguely wish i could just float through life in a perpetual euphoria, dancing through a land of perpetual happiness and contentment, in some alternate plane of existence where nothing matters and nothing happens.

though such a thought is strange... and not so euphoric. so empty and undignified. why is it so hard to let go of the constraints of the world in which i live?


----------



## EmyMax

Very inspired.
Today is a great day to write another chapter of my novel.


----------



## uziq

so sad and lonely. i miss her so much. i don't know when ill be able to speak to her again. it could be tomorrow, it could be next week, it could be a month from now. not knowing this compounds my depression.


----------



## Mrs Robot

A little tired but overall, pretty good ^_^


----------



## AllTheSame

I'm feeling awesome. It's been a really good weekend. I have a lot to do today, I've talked to my kids and we need to talk some more, and I have *got* to clean up a little bit before this place gets any worse, and get ready for the work week to start. But, ffs, this weekend could not have gone much better so far.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sweet and low down


----------



## kivi

Anxious. Today, I am going to see a counsellor for my university choices. Also, I have some talent exams (architecture related) for one university in less than one month (apperantly, my exams haven't finished yet). We even had the plane tickets to go to that city few days ago.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I think I ate too much, lol.... My stomach feels like a balloon. I feel vaguely nauseous. :/


----------



## rdrr

a bit warm


----------



## In The Shade

Down in the dumps a lot lately. 

The huge lack of normality in my life is grinding me down.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

so ****ing, ****ing lonely


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Insignificant. Confused. Hurt.


----------



## Kevin001

Crappy. Then I have to deal with this rain and work....ugh. God help me.


----------



## harrison

Hopeful. Things are going to be very good indeed.


----------



## thomasjune

Tomorrow is Friday so I feel good right now. No work for me this weekend so I get to stay home and relax.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Crisigv

I don't know. I can't pinpoint my feelings.


----------



## Kevin001

So confused but whats new.


----------



## eddiecohen

Happy.


----------



## eddiecohen

and contented.


----------



## In The Shade

Lost


----------



## EmyMax

Hopeful and joyful.


----------



## Protozoan

Anxious

[SPOILER="Anxious"]ahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha[/spoiler]


----------



## Kevin001

Drained....emotionally and physically.


----------



## tea111red

I want to be able to embrace not sharing my thoughts more/again.


----------



## PocketoAlice

Angry, scared and hurt.


----------



## catcharay

Sleepy. Hope to sleep all thru my flight. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## noydb

Awful


----------



## bad baby

Not sure how to describe it, but I've felt it before. A kind of emptiness mixed with longing for...something. Empty reminisces of what could have been. Anxiety about the future, anxiety, but also hope, that my half-baked plans are starting to take shape. I've been dreaming a lot lately, about travel and stress. I reached out to a handful of old SAS friends, out of the blue, asked them how they were. A couple never responded. I wish they would stop being so down on themselves; they're alright. Ive been really on edge, checking my mail compulsively. Planning is the hardest part, the anticipation is painful. #ramblings


----------



## Crisigv

Restless. My leg is hurting and it's making it a little hard to sleep.


----------



## rdrr

despondent


----------



## tea111red

rdrr said:


> despondent


aw. :hug


----------



## Xenagos

Exhausted. My insomnia is back in full force. I'm so tired right now, trying to stay up to fix this sh*t. 😴

Also been having a lot of breathing problems this week. Went to the hospital several times because of the pressure on my chest. Still can't sleep on my back or left side.


----------



## apple89

Confused about life. Trying to figure out too many things at once and thinking about the past. I have a lot of positive stuff in my life, I know, but I feel like I don't focus on it. That's why I haven't gotten anywhere.


----------



## anxious87

I feel like I am caught in an infinite loop of funk. Anything I do to get myself out of the funk lasts only temporarily. Unsure of what I want, but I need to start taking bigger, different actions.


----------



## StephCurry

like giving up. again.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Alone.


----------



## rdrr

tea111red said:


> aw. :hug


:hug


----------



## cosmicslop

I feel contented for now. Some inner peace. I've been going through the kind of introspection that promotes self-growth rather than a downward spiral of rumination. Had some insights I've never had before about my destructive behavior and beliefs. The quote in my signature has never been more relevant than now.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Bound and conflicted. So much to say and do, plenty of opportunity to say it and do it...any of it said and done? Nah! We people are a magnificent breed, are we not? May the call of glistening razors resist me yet. Why? I'm not all together sure. THAT is where I am.

May peace be with you. Ta!


----------



## tea111red

rdrr said:


> :hug







:lol


----------



## CopadoMexicano

im freaking out


----------



## millenniumman75

Better than I have in the last two weeks.....you have to check out the Spirituality forum to see what I went through.


----------



## Crisigv

Down and no energy


----------



## AffinityWing

Broken, lost, and trapped.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hopeless.


----------



## tea111red

I need to undo the habit of sharing my thoughts on here. 

And I hope it's soon.


----------



## Depo

I'm feeling good, I've become too self-centered these last few weeks, getting busy doing things by myself. I'm almost one year older, so I decided to turn things around, so no more dating this year, no more trying to meet people or make new friends. I'm detaching myself from people and I don't want to think about them. No more alcohol, no more junk food. I want to have a calm and healthy life, one that doesn't involve thinking about my lack of social life. I'm giving up that part of myself and changing it into something positive. There are plenty of things I can do alone.

I don't know... I think I'm going through a near 30 years old crisis, cause I'm fed up of trying and not getting any results, on the contrary, every attempt just lowers my self-esteem, makes me more apathetic and I'm not getting any younger. So it's time for me to take care of myself, my body and mind. So far it's working, cause I don't feel lonely and I'm enjoying being by myself. I believe that change is a necessity when someone is unhappy about their life, even if change involves sacrificing a part of our self. :nerd:


----------



## Plasma

I feel fantastic.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

vague


----------



## lylyroze

Better than six months


----------



## Mik3

Alone


----------



## lylyroze

Mik3 said:


> Alone


You're not *make a hug*.


----------



## Mik3

lylyroze said:


> You're not *make a hug*.


Ty xx


----------



## tea111red

I'm tired of sacrificing my health and neglecting myself for others to the extent that I have. I feel beat down.


----------



## Absence of Words

I'm excited


----------



## soulstorm

I have so much to be thankful for yet I'm full of regret as well. Life has truly been a roller coaster so far.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker




----------



## Kevin001

sarafinanickelbocker said:


>


:squeeze


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Kevin001 said:


> :squeeze


Thanks Kevin! :smile2:


----------



## AllTheSame

Right now I'm feeling blessed. I really am. Ffs, I have everything I need, my children have everything they need (except for a mom, ffs, which...I'm working on, as much as I possibly can). I can only do so much to help out my children and they all, all three of them know that I am a phone call away. I would quit, get fired from my job, in a moments notice if I had to, to help them, and they know that.

Other than that I am doing as much as I possibly can to improve myself and my situation, I am really, really pushing myself. I don't always like this job. It's waaaayyyy out of my comfort zone. But so far I seem to be doing alright, I'm getting almost nothing but positive feedback. If you'd told me a few years ago that I'd have a job in outside sales I would have just laughed at you....so, so hard.


----------



## Crisigv

Blah

Not as tired as I hoped.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@sarafinanickelbocker

:hug

@AllTheSame

Great dad award goes to.......  

@Crisigv

Awww. :hug


----------



## Kevin001

I'm feeling pretty good. Got a lot done this morning, I got a good support system online that makes me smile, and I'm hopeful for some changes irl.


----------



## tea111red

AllTheSame said:


> Right now I'm feeling blessed. I really am. Ffs, I have everything I need, my children have everything they need (except for a mom, ffs, which...I'm working on, as much as I possibly can). I can only do so much to help out my children and they all, all three of them know that I am a phone call away. I would quit, get fired from my job, in a moments notice if I had to, to help them, and they know that.
> 
> Other than that I am doing as much as I possibly can to improve myself and my situation, I am really, really pushing myself. I don't always like this job. It's waaaayyyy out of my comfort zone. But so far I seem to be doing alright, I'm getting almost nothing but positive feedback. If you'd told me a few years ago that I'd have a job in outside sales I would have just laughed at you....so, so hard.


It's nice to see you are doing better. Hopefully you continue moving towards what you want in life and continue to heal.


----------



## AllTheSame

tea111red said:


> It's nice to see you are doing better. Hopefully you continue moving towards what you want in life and continue to heal.


Thank you...I don't always feel like I'm healing. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a downward spiral lol, but I really think I'm doing the best I can. Maybe it's about doing the best you can, where you are, with what you have. What I mean by that is...since my gf's suicide I know I'm never going to be the same. That guy is gone and he's never coming back. Sometimes I feel like I could be so much more than who I am but I'm never going to reach my potential. For example I feel like I was making a lot of progress with trusting people, with letting my guard down, with making friends and being more open, in tearing my own walls down. I left this site for about six months to a year, before the suicide. I think I was making some huge changes, but since the suicide all those changes just disappeared. I don't trust people anymore...I'm trying to, but I just can't seem to do it. I'm so, so tired of getting burned, and not just getting burned, but I mean getting burned in the worst ways humanly possible. I can't figure it out. Maybe I'm an easy target? But that doesn't explain a lot of it.

Anyways I guess we all (most of us) do the best we can do, where we are, with what we have. Guess that's all you can really do.


----------



## tea111red

AllTheSame said:


> Thank you...I don't always feel like I'm healing. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a downward spiral lol, but I really think I'm doing the best I can. Maybe it's about doing the best you can, where you are, with what you have. What I mean by that is...since my gf's suicide I know I'm never going to be the same. That guy is gone and he's never coming back. Sometimes I feel like I could be so much more than who I am but I'm never going to reach my potential. For example I feel like I was making a lot of progress with trusting people, with letting my guard down, with making friends and being more open, in tearing my own walls down. I
> left this site for about six months to a year, before the suicide. I think I was making some huge changes, but since the suicide all those changes just disappeared. I don't trust people anymore...I'm trying to, but I just can't seem to do it. I'm so, so tired of getting burned, and not just getting burned, but I mean getting burned in the worst ways humanly possible. I can't
> figure it out. Maybe I'm an easy target? But that doesn't explain a lot of it.
> 
> Anyways I guess we all (most of us) do the best we can do, where we are, with what we have. Guess
> 
> that's all you can really do.


It is harder to take the risk of trusting others when you already feel so vulnerable to/anticipate something bad happening due to actually experiencing or witnessing so many bad/traumatic events, I understand. It gets hammered into your brain that if you trust, you will face serious consequences/a lot of damage, and that in order to stay afloat, you need to not let yourself trust others. At least that is my experience anyway. However, not being able to trust just leads to a very lonely and empty existence to the point of not even wanting to be alive (in my experience). Trusting vs not trusting can be a really tough dilemma.

About you thinking you are a target or something....hmm. I'm wondering if it's really more about having transference issues than you necessarily being a target (but maybe you do attract a certain type for some unknown reason....I don't know your full history, of course).

Anyway, hopefully you can at least try to take baby steps so you can learn to trust again. Keep trying to focus on your positive experiences and try to stay open to new ones so you can get to the point of believing it's safe or possible to trust again. You've got to drown out the negative experiences w/ positive ones, I guess? I don't know. I'm still struggling to get over my own trust issues, obviously, but I'm trying to take my own advice, lol.


----------



## harrison

Pretty good. It's amazing what a few compliments and a bit of music will do for a man.


----------



## kitsbody

unbearably lonely. I haven't talked to anyone in my age group in months. nobody tries to talk to me either. I think they forgot about me


----------



## Kovu

super


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

I'm worried that it may soon be the end for my 19 year old cat. She's been unusually passive the past few days so maybe her kidneys are finally failing. That happened to her sister at Christmas 2014. Also, my damned laptop suddenly won't power up for some reason, though I do have another one.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed, lonely, anxious, confused, and lost.


----------



## AllTheSame

tea111red said:


> It is harder to take the risk of trusting others when you already feel so vulnerable to/anticipate something bad happening due to actually experiencing or witnessing so many bad/traumatic events, I understand. It gets hammered into your brain that if you trust, you will face serious consequences/a lot of damage, and that in order to stay afloat, you need to not let yourself trust others. At least that is my experience anyway. However, not being able to trust just leads to a very lonely and empty existence to the point of not even wanting to be alive (in my experience). Trusting vs not trusting can be a really tough dilemma.
> 
> About you thinking you are a target or something....hmm. I'm wondering if it's really more about having transference issues than you necessarily being a target (but maybe you do attract a certain type for some unknown reason....I don't know your full history, of course).
> 
> Anyway, hopefully you can at least try to take baby steps so you can learn to trust again. Keep trying to focus on your positive experiences and try to stay open to new ones so you can get to the point of believing it's safe or possible to trust again. You've got to drown out the negative experiences w/ positive ones, I guess? I don't know. I'm still struggling to get over my own trust issues, obviously, but I'm trying to take my own advice, lol.


Thanks for the response, for the feedback. I realize everyone (esp with anxiety issues) has trust issues, it's not just exclusive to me, I'm not the only one lol and I get that. We all go through it. I see everyone here though as dealing with it better than I do. I just seem to be really bad at dealing with this ****. I push people away. I've been told that before, by other users on this site and irl. And I don't mean to I'm dead serious, I really don't, but I do it and that's all that matters I guess.

I worry about transference issues also. I saw a therapist not long after my ex passed away and she was talking about moving on (and I wasn't even there yet, not even close) and she kept asking me what I was afraid of. And I told her, I'm afraid I'm going to feel like I'm cheating on my ex. And I'm afraid I'm going to compare every woman I'm with from now on, to her. And she said "Yeah, of course you are". Lmao. So. There's that. I mean that's the last thing I want to do. I still slip her name into conversations, even with my kids. I'm still in some ways very much in love with her and I always will be. It is what it is I guess.

It is difficult to trust but I agree with you totally, there is really no other way. Not unless you're happy living the rest of your life in solitary confinement, and I'm not. It's that double edged sword oc that comes with SA....I need friends, I love people but being around people drains me, it sends my anxiety through the roof.

I'm trying to learn how to trust again but it's not easy, even on this site. I've been burned on this site before. Like you suggested, though, I guess you just start with baby steps. And hope you run into, trust the right people.


----------



## SunFlower2011

Bored. Lost in career.


----------



## tea111red

AllTheSame said:


> I just seem to be really bad at dealing with this ****. I push people away. I've been told that before, by other users on this site and irl. And I don't mean to I'm dead serious, I really don't, but I do it and that's all that matters I guess.


yeah, i push people away, too. i have a lot reasons to. i don't even know if it's worth developing anything w/ anyone most of the time. the more someone gets to know me, the more insecure i start to feel. maybe this is related to me feeling so invalidated.....and inadequate.


----------



## catcharay

Annoyed but whatever


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## ShatteredGlass

dead inside


----------



## Tibble

Lost. Not even sure what to do with myself. At least I can escape to video games.


----------



## Michael1983

Ok. Went out today and got some things done.


----------



## UberMensch

I'm feeling normal, but at times I feel a bit anxious when I read the news as a lot of headlines can easily invoke fear or panic due to the attacks occurring in Europe, the US presidential elections and now I read something about Russia's president wanting to possibly attack NATO or something like that.
While I do not live in Europe, I have very dear friends over there and I worry about them sometimes.
Still, these headlines are probably exaggerated and I should probably know better by now that the media likes to make everything sound like it's horrible and scary, but still, I just hope that things don't escalate.


----------



## AllTheSame

Tired. I just didn't sleep well at all last night, I'm in a hotel room in a strange place where I know no one except for a coworker who's in another hotel a few miles away, and who is very much off limits lol, even as just a friend.

We got a lot done today though. I'm working with her one on one again tomorrow, as he's part time and has no more hours to work this week, so it will just be me and her. I think we're gonna be out of there by around 1:00 though. And I'm guessing I might have part or all of Friday as another paid day off. That'd be awesome.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

l m a o i am SUFFERING (((((^:

kinda have an interesting opportunity right now but i know that no matter what i choose to do i'm going to end up suffering hahaha kill me please (((^:


----------



## ShatteredGlass

heh NEVER MIND


----------



## JohnDoe26

A bit down and a bit discouraged that I just broke my 10 day NoFap streak.


----------



## kivi

Nervous. I couldn't finish my homework. I can only finish 1/4 of the paper in one hour.


----------



## SoundsOfSilence

Nervous/scared. I have to go to my school tomorrow and take my sophomore class pictures. I don't even want to think about talking to people.


----------



## AbandonedAccount443

Like crap, but I brought it upon myself. I'll get over it.


----------



## lylyroze

Fat and ugly


----------



## The Library of Emma

sad, empty.


----------



## Zatch

Oddly chipper. I swear I need some sort of medication. I don't know what I'm doing.


----------



## Charmander

Happy to be back from the torture chamber dentist.


----------



## Kevin001

Charmander said:


> Happy to be back from the torture chamber dentist.


Cavity free?


----------



## test of valor

Lonely and pathetic.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sluggish mentally and physically


----------



## TryingMara

Nervous about work.


----------



## AllTheSame

A little bored and kind of "meh". I have lots of stuff to keep me entertained...games (a couple I haven't even taken out of the box yet), a dozen or so movies I haven't watched, a whole series I haven't started yet that I want to see. I need to get some pics from vacation printed out and / or forwarded to my kids and parents. So I have stuff to keep me busy but I really want to be with my kids. I always get a little bummed out on the weekends when I don't have them, because I turn into a total recluse, I don't even speak to another human being usually. This really sucks, I just cannot believe that crazy actually became the custodial parent of my kids. If we had actually gotten in front of a judge sometimes I don't think there's any way in hell that would have happened. Not if everything about her had come out. There is no. ******. Way.


----------



## myself0500

Tired , haven't gotten much sleep the last three days .


----------



## Crisigv

Annoyed. I hate being interrupted and not understood.


----------



## Crisigv

jjoohhnn said:


> Hiya :banana
> 
> :get


You don't really need to get it I guess.


----------



## SoundsOfSilence

I'm completely relieved that today went _somewhat_ well. It was better than I expected, but still stressful. :/


----------



## Ominous Indeed

I feel very indifferent being here at the moment. I am not happy or sad. Some time ago I really wanted to befriend some people on here but now I really don't care.


----------



## Crisigv

jjoohhnn said:


> Sorry, just being silly. I hope you're doing ok.


Some things just go over my head.


----------



## Crisigv

jjoohhnn said:


> Mine too. Very sorry if I've been insensitive.


Nah, you're good. I'm feeling fine right now.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

well i feel good because for this week I'm ahead of target slightly and ahead of the overall target slightly for the past weeks.

although today i feel a bit annoyed because today the files are not so good, and when you're ahead of target, its always a chance to push further ahead of target. 

Lol, i should be happy to be ahead of target in the first place, and not to complain that today it would be difficult to get ahead of ahead of target LOL


----------



## SoundsOfSilence

Really tired and bloated. :serious:

Sleep insomnia is really affecting me a lot this summer and since it's so hot, I can't relax in my room without sweating and feeling like I'm in an oven . It's hard to jog outside cause of the sun, too, so my stomach feels very bloated and inactive.

Overall, I feel dead :dead


----------



## sajs

_snafu_


----------



## Vein

Like shet. I can't not hate myself because I hate the people I was spawned from and will always be trapped in what they gave me. Only my conscience is vaguely my own.

Hurry up cybernetics...


----------



## Rainy Cakes

Not so great I guess. I wish I had like a best friend here or something. Or maybe I just suck at being a friend and transitioning into a loner.


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling pretty good. I just wish sometimes I had found "the one" by now, I wish I'd found Miss Right. Ffs, I'm not getting any younger...maybe it's just too late lmao. Other than the loneliness that seems to follow me everywhere I'm actually feeling pretty good and have been all weekend. Better than I usually am anyway.


----------



## noydb

I deserve it, but I still feel sad.


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad. Had a good video chat earlier, just watched the women's usa basketball team kick a**, and killed my workout earlier. I just hope work goes ok today.


----------



## MrObscura

Terrible.


----------



## greentea33

fine.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I have a headache


----------



## SoundsOfSilence

Last night, I actually slept well for once (yay!). Woke up this morning feeling slightly better than usual. Hope I can continue this habit for the rest of the summer.


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

Whatever's happening isn't worth the last cigarette of my emergency stash.


----------



## catcharay

More in control of my emotions. It's the bc I'm taking. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Worthless. Unwanted. Disposable. 

I'm nothing.


----------



## harrison

I was fine until I looked at this ****ing site again. My God some of **** that gets put on here I can't believe I waste my time with it.


----------



## AllTheSame

don said:


> I was fine until I looked at this ****ing site again. My God some of **** that gets put on here I can't believe I waste my time with it.


Those are my feelings, exactly, and I thought about posting something very similar but I'm trying not to fan the flames. I'm not sure if we're even looking at the same threads but for me it's a nauseating combination of passive-aggressiveness, backstabbing, low blows, behind the back sarcasm, and just....coming here with nothing but negativity. I try to screen out the few people I know like that but the more you screen them out the louder they seem to scream for attention.

But that's just me, you may be on a completely different topic lol, idk.

It also gets really old, hearing about the righteous indignation here. The..."woe is me I've been insulted, I've been done so wrong" attitudes. And while there is definitely a place and a time and a thread and topic for that, it shouldn't be every other phrase out of your mouth. Omg....

/rant


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit sore, a bit hungry


----------



## eight

...


----------



## harrison

AllTheSame said:


> Those are my feelings, exactly, and I thought about posting something very similar but I'm trying not to fan the flames. I'm not sure if we're even looking at the same threads but for me it's a nauseating combination of passive-aggressiveness, backstabbing, low blows, behind the back sarcasm, and just....coming here with nothing but negativity. I try to screen out the few people I know like that but the more you screen them out the louder they seem to scream for attention.
> 
> But that's just me, you may be on a completely different topic lol, idk.
> 
> It also gets really old, hearing about the righteous indignation here. The..."woe is me I've been insulted, I've been done so wrong" attitudes. And while there is definitely a place and a time and a thread and topic for that, it shouldn't be every other phrase out of your mouth. Omg....
> 
> /rant


I think it's probably a different thread - I just can't take some of the people on here - they're too much for me.

The problem is I actually like it here usually - and there are some lovely people here. But a few have major mental health issues or are just plain horrible. I can't work out which sometimes.


----------



## Crisigv

Restless


----------



## kivi

Hopeful. I haven't feel like this in a long time.


----------



## Kevin001

Pretty good just finished working out and video chatting(always makes me feel better). Folding clothes now and then lunch before work.


----------



## SoundsOfSilence

Kinda tired :yawn

Last night, I slept pretty decently. Not as good as I wanted, but I'll take it. Waking up, though, I felt unusually content for some reason idk. Well, I'm just glad (and thankful) I slept better than usual cause I usually end up feeling dead in the morning.


----------



## The Library of Emma

Relieved and maybe even a little hopeful.


----------



## cosmicslop

Yearning. Like I can almost feel this yearning part of me pulling away from inside me so it can materialize to a separate person that can gravitate 100% to the thing I want most. And it's a thing that's pretty unhealthy. Life's good except for this one thing. Sucks, man.


----------



## Crisigv

bad headache


----------



## SoundsOfSilence

Exhausted and sweaty *Pant* *Pant* Just got back from a biking trip.


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling worried about my mom. Have been texting my dad and sister back and forth all day. She's still in the hospital. They found a blockage in her stomach in the ER, but can't find it now that she's been admitted. They're doing another stomach scope tomorrow. She's just really, extremely nauseated, really bad. I've been really worried, but I'm just trying to take my mind off of it with distractions, with tv, since my dad won't let me or my sister visit. And he doesn't want any help...my sister and I have offered to take care of their dog, house-sitting, bringing them what they need at the hospital, giving my dad a break so he can go home and sleep and he is accepting no help....nothing. I have visitation with my kids this weekend and we always go to my parents' house, and he told me we should just go there, they may still be in the hospital. That's got me worried. I hate how I always feel like he's withholding information. Why do people do that, I don't get it....


----------



## JoelNZ

I've had a crappy morning but after talking to a friend over facebook I feel better. I've made a decision to join a men's support group and stop seeing my therapist of 8 years. So that's a big change and I'm glad I've made the decision. I wasn't improving with his therapy so it was time to move on. I've also made the decision to drop out of studying and focus on myself for the immediate future and getting well. I'm glad I made the choice because I was at breaking point and something had to be done. Life throws up many challenges and the road may change but I'm looking forward to what's ahead  I Hope others are OK and I wish you all the best with life's challengers. God Bless you all.


----------



## TryingMara

Relieved that the work day is over, my cat seems to be feeling better and network connectivity issues are resolved. I have a lingering headache, which is annoying, but overall I'm relieved.


----------



## The Starry night

AllTheSame said:


> Feeling worried about my mom. Have been texting my dad and sister back and forth all day. She's still in the hospital. They found a blockage in her stomach in the ER, but can't find it now that she's been admitted. They're doing another stomach scope tomorrow. She's just really, extremely nauseated, really bad. I've been really worried, but I'm just trying to take my mind off of it with distractions, with tv, since my dad won't let me or my sister visit. And he doesn't want any help...my sister and I have offered to take care of their dog, house-sitting, bringing them what they need at the hospital, giving my dad a break so he can go home and sleep and he is accepting no help....nothing. I have visitation with my kids this weekend and we always go to my parents' house, and he told me we should just go there, they may still be in the hospital. That's got me worried. I hate how I always feel like he's withholding information. Why do people do that, I don't get it....


Aww no, try to be patient and do what you can do for them. I know you already are...try to keep smiling, *hugs*


----------



## AllTheSame

The Starry night said:


> Aww no, try to be patient and do what you can do for them. I know you already are...try to keep smiling, *hugs*


Thank you. Just worried. Just trying to distract myself. My anxiety is just kicking in over it, I hope she's going to be OK. (((hugs))) back to you Starry, thank you.


----------



## myself0500

Today I am feeling bored , nothing seems interesting today .


----------



## The Library of Emma

Today I have been procrastinating with my schoolwork (gasp!) and spent all evening working on a sort of storyboard for my writing and listening to new (to me) Coldplay. Saw my shrink earlier. Read a book. Mhm.


----------



## herk

bleh


----------



## tea111red

i feel so horrible for being so destructive and doing horrible stuff. i wish stuff never happened.


----------



## f1ora

im a little nervous, tomorrow i take a placement test for college. i can do well on all parts...but i know i will trip up somewhat on the math sections


----------



## Cashel

f1ora said:


> im a little nervous, tomorrow i take a placement test for college. i can do well on all parts...but i know i will trip up somewhat on the math sections


Math is the Devil. I'm sure you'll do well!


----------



## SoundsOfSilence

Surprisingly awake. 0 Wow, it's been so long...


----------



## The Library of Emma

XP


----------



## lisbeth

Upset with myself for not being able to stand up for myself. I think a lot of the frustration in my life comes from putting up with things I shouldn't and feeling unable to speak up about it.

I'm glad this isn't a problem in my relationship, but it's such a big problem with work. I really let people take advantage of me. Also a problem in friendships.


----------



## Blackdog1

Confused as just registered and oh Lord is this site confusing !


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Blackdog1 said:


> Confused as just registered and oh Lord is this site confusing !


Confusing as in navigating the joint? lol

I'm still trying to find my way around as there's lots of forums.


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

lisbeth said:


> Upset with myself for not being able to stand up for myself. I think a lot of the frustration in my life comes from putting up with things I shouldn't and feeling unable to speak up about it.
> 
> I'm glad this isn't a problem in my relationship, but it's such a big problem with work. I really let people take advantage of me. Also a problem in friendships.


I don't know, especially when it comes to work. Standing up for yourself would probably feel good in the short term, and not standing up for yourself certainly makes you feel down about yourself, but it's usually the right decision to just put up with things.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

****ed up. filled with dread. i'd like this feeling to stop like now thx


----------



## The Library of Emma

Headache, sad. And... i don't know... should i? shouldn't i? Okay. I will. :bash


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

Disappointed.


----------



## LostinReverie

Overwhelmed. Sad. Hopeless. Embarrassed. Unable.


----------



## Crisigv

Still so tired


----------



## lisbeth

Wings of Amnesty said:


> I don't know, especially when it comes to work. Standing up for yourself would probably feel good in the short term, and not standing up for yourself certainly makes you feel down about yourself, but it's usually the right decision to just put up with things.


Not in this case, honestly. It's something which is probably illegal and which other people would think I'm ridiculous for not making a fuss about.


----------



## Memories of Silence

Like I'm weird, boring, have no personality, am annoying, am dumb, am bad at everything I try to do and that everyone else in the world is much better than me, even if they are murderers.


----------



## Kevin001

Silent Memory said:


> Like I'm weird, boring, have no personality, am annoying, am dumb, am bad at everything I try to do and that everyone else in the world is much better than me, even if they are murderers.


I think you're awesome. :stu


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored/tired/restless


----------



## SoundsOfSilence

I was tired to the point where I literally felt dead a few hours ago but I'm doing better. :serious:

I didn't sleep well at all last night. Very disappointed. I had a good sleep pattern going, too. :sigh Oh well. Tonight's gonna be another another working day for me. I hate sleep insomnia.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

volatile


----------



## The Library of Emma

The Condition of Keegan said:


> Hot, Sad, and Annoyed :sigh


What he said, plus exhausted.


----------



## Sonic Death Monkey

Sleepy (woke up super early for a doctor's appointment, really bored but unsure of what to do about it, and still kind of bummed over a relationship that ended a month ago.
Actually I may make a thread about that last one in the right area if it still bothers me later or tomorrow.


----------



## AllTheSame

Excited, happy, looking forward to this weekend. I have my kids this weekend, and my mom is feeling much better, she was discharged from the hospital this morning. These are the days I work for and live for...the days when I have my kids. I've missed them lately. So plans are to have them at my parents' house as usual.

I might work a half day tomorrow, haven't decided yet. I've gotten the OK from my boss, and from his boss to do that at my own discretion. I just have to make sure that what needs to get done gets done. And I'm taking care of everything now. Ahead of schedule and everyone's happy. It could not be going much better than it is.


----------



## Memories of Silence

Kevin001 said:


> I think you're awesome. :stu


Thanks.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Broken.


----------



## SoundsOfSilence

I feel slightly awake for once. A little bit drowsy, but that's better than feeling dead. 

I slept well last night.  Best sleep I've had for a while now. Hope I can do this for tonight, too.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Frail


----------



## Kevin001

Happy now. :grin2:


----------



## Kevin001

Throat is a little scratchy, I hope I'm not getting sick....ugh.


----------



## SoundsOfSilence

Woke up today feeling great. Had a goodnight sleep, too. Couldn't ask for anything better sleep wise. 0


----------



## anhanh

Boring, exhausted, want to hang out with someone but nobody has time for me


----------



## Nunuc

Exhausted after flipping too many tables on SAS.


----------



## Malek

Tired of this world...


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Malek said:


> Tired of this world...


Me too


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad. I'm just snuggled up watching Pitch Perfect atm.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

My ADD is acting up. I'm rapidly switching between tabs and I've done nothing productive all day. Bleh.


----------



## SoundsOfSilence

Impatient. I don't want school to start, yet at the same time, the wait is killing me. I hate delayed executions.


----------



## Kevin001

Irritated. Waking up to new acne sucks. I'm hoping my off day goes well though.


----------



## SoundsOfSilence

Shameful. Apparently my birthday is on the first day of school. 

Yay. Best birthday ever. *Obvious sarcasm*


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i. am. hella. tired. i have more homework than joan rivers had plastic surgery and i think the only way i can really get off my *** and do it is to either drink a ton of strong coffee, or sleep. i'm inclined to choose the latter. zzz


----------



## Crisigv

Stomach is a little unsettled.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

Awwwwwwww. :hug


----------



## blueangellost6

I'm having a few serious issues at this moment. One is that I have become a victim of crime, and I feel like there's no one there helping. I am currently homeless and waiting on paperwork to forward things. I'm studying, and both assessments need to be in next month. Yet, with everything going on I am unsure how I am getting on. I feel frustrated, and alone. But I am trying to get things sorted, but its being done slowly. I am scared to go out and I am worried to where I am going when they do find me somewhere. I'm tired and feeling unwell and just need the support I'm lacking.


----------



## Kevin001

blueangellost6 said:


> I am scared to go out and I am worried to where I am going when they do find me somewhere.


That sounds scary. Sorry everything is hitting you at once, I will pray for you. :squeeze


----------



## blueangellost6

Thanks Kevin, I am completely at a lost. Everything has been tipped upside down. I have never been in this situation and I have never done wrong to be in this situation. I don't know what else to do.


----------



## Kevin001

blueangellost6 said:


> Thanks Kevin, I am completely at a lost. Everything has been tipped upside down. I have never been in this situation and I have never done wrong to be in this situation. I don't know what else to do.


Do you believe the tough times in our lives only make us stronger? Not sure exactly what you're going through but don't give up. There have been plenty of times in my life where I felt my world was crashing and I had no idea how to handle it but I survived and it only made me stronger. If you ever need someone to talk to or listen to you I'll be around.


----------



## Crisigv

@ANX1 Thanks. I just had some water, and it settled down.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sore, hungry, low down, anxious


----------



## Overdrive

Loney


----------



## blueangellost6

That's kind of you. Yes I believe in that philosophy, yet, I have been finding myself in one bad situation after another. I don't need the agro.


----------



## AllTheSame

Tired. It's been a good day but it's also been a very, very long day. My job has marathon staff meetings once a month or so that are just exhausting. It's also very tiring being pulled in so many different directions at once, and that's how today has felt like.

I'm about to leave to go visit my daughter in the hospital. I hope things are going well, I haven't talked to her today because on visitation days they don't do phone calls. My ex-wife is going to be there with me. Yay. My daughter has been on my mind all day long, I left a message with her therapist a few hours ago and talked to my dad some more about what was going on. I really hope she's talking. I hope she's working on her issues. It's not a choice, she has got to be doing it, it's part of learning how to deal with her issues in a healthier way, it's part of becoming stronger.

My crush from work also just decided to respond to my text lmao. Either she just saw it or she just decided to respond to it, I'm not sure which. My text said "You're wearing that dress like you're doing it a favor". She responded with "Yeah. I know". I said "You looked nice today. Nothing more beautiful than a woman that takes care of herself and knows how to rock a dress like that. Was good to see you again". So now we're going back and forth. Somebody stop me. Please. She's cute, and just stunningly beautiful, and yes you can be both at the same time, and I love her sense of humor and she's a smart, confident woman who is not afraid to express herself or be herself or show the world who she is and she's talented. Hmmmm. I don't know why I'm attracted to her. Can't think of one reason.


----------



## EmyMax

Very relaxed.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

You're welcome. 

Good to hear.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad, lonely, worried, and tired of life, as usual.


----------



## tea111red

happy to be getting a new rx soon. aaaaaaahaha.

that zzquil stuff is disgusting!!!! uke


----------



## wiZZ

Awesome right now. A buddy from work is getting into his music with his band and they are getting known, so he might be quitting work to pursue this which I told him he NEEDS to do, his music is amazing!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired/spaces out


----------



## SoundsOfSilence

Stressed out. 

Today was the first day of school. It sucked.


----------



## Crisigv

Tired and annoyed


----------



## rdrr

drenched


----------



## catcharay

I'm annoyed with the subway people. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## kivi

I'm very tired. I have been traveling for all night today (I thought I'd travel next week). I couldn't get any sleep and just right after I arrived this morning, I visited my university campus, looked at the places where I have chance to stay (they choose people by their financial status mostly) I hope I can have a place to stay in my campus otherwise it'll be so hard for me.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm well, day has been smooth so far. I just hope work goes ok.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & hungry & antisocial


----------



## Unreality

SoundsOfSilence said:


> Stressed out.
> 
> Today was the first day of school. It sucked.


Sorry to hear and I hope things turn out better for you in the future. I know school for me was quite...stressful. So glad to be out!


----------



## TryingMara

Antsy, nervous.


----------



## AllTheSame

Worried. I'm trying to distract myself. I'm the master of distraction. Posting on this site and others before I feel tired enough to try to sleep. Trying to keep my brain occupied with other things, other thoughts.


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

The bottom right corner of my back is awfully painful to bend just now. I went downstairs at 4am to check that the back door was shut. Then got distracted by it being left open, slipped and hit my back on a table near the front door. Hope it doesn't last too long.


----------



## Kevin001

I feel like I might be getting sick.....ugh.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Kevin001 said:


> I feel like I might be getting sick.....ugh.


You & me both bro


----------



## KILOBRAVO

reasonably good.


----------



## Lostintheshuffle

Incredibly stressed out and nervous. First, I learned that I have a cracked tooth yesterday, school starts on Thursday, and I've got several procedures to have done at the hospital next week where I've got to be sedated. I dislike procedures and hospitals very much as it is, and I am absolutely terrified that they are going to find something horribly wrong with me. I am terribly on edge and afraid.


----------



## SorryForMyEnglish

****ty. and weird. feel like i can have some serious mental disorder i don't know i have. or will have it soon. feel like going crazy out of isolation and willing to stay in isolation at the same time.


----------



## thomasjune

Very frustrated. My sister has been staying at my place because she broke up with her boyfriend again plus her teenage step-kids are always coming over to spend time with her. Crap..I care about all of them but I miss my alone time. :/
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Crisigv

A little lonely, and pathetic at the moment.


----------



## herk

pretty good atm, but there's always something that needs to be worked on. some problem in the background that could turn into something worse, if not dealth with. and good things can always go to **** in no time so there's that. but for now i'm pretty good


----------



## ShatteredGlass

ethereal


----------



## tehuti88

Sad/guilty. 

Was picking up some computer games from a stack near my bed and typing down the titles since I think I want to get rid of them. I happened to look down and noticed little baby spiders crawling all over my leg. There must have been a hatch hidden somewhere around the stack of games.

They didn't scare me, but I couldn't bear the thought of having spiders crawling all over my bed, so I had to kill them. I said I was sorry, and it was only a handful, surely there are a lot more still lurking on the stack of games (I looked around but I see no web or anything, where did they come from, exactly?--surely they weren't IN the game box?--that's bothersome if I plan to sell these things)...but I feel like crap now. Normally I go out of my way to save spiders, but these were so small that even brushing them away would likely have crushed them. I hated killing those poor baby spiders which were perfectly harmless, just annoying. :sigh (And I must admit I'm a bit skeeved that maybe I missed one or two that were on me...I feel itchy now.)

I'm sorry, little spiders.  I hope most of you got away.


I'm also getting more and more worried that my IC is getting even worse. :sigh


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

Free. 
tl;dr: dude was an immature, clingy coward with issues (Seriously, why are people no longer held accountable for their actions?). So glad I can move on to someone closer and more stable.


----------



## Tibble

Completely lost. Don't know what to do with myself.


----------



## LostinReverie

Nauseated. Trying my best not to puke. I don't think it's going to work.


----------



## Charmander

Sad. I think it's that gloomy "it's nearly September" feeling.


----------



## lockS

Kinda down. I was thinking about how many things I'm missing out on in life. I need to do more stuff, get to know more people! Start living again.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

lockS said:


> Kinda down. I was thinking about how many things I'm missing out on in life. I need to do more stuff, get to know more people! Start living again.


I totally got that feeling as well yesterday (and today). Before you read further I want to assure you that I am trying.

I talked to my friend over the phone yesterday and he was like "Don't you ever go out?". He meant drinking though, but I really felt it because I am not a very active person otherwise either (especially right now before school start). I promised him I would call when I was available in the weekends.

I know my mom and my sister talks to each other a lot over phones, and she has started calling me daily as well, and it just feels like she is doing it just to make me feel a little less lonely.

Anyway I'll start school next week, I train 3 times a week and hopefully I can get to do a mountain trip every weekend with some people. I realize how trapped I am because I don't have a car, because today I wanted to go to a climbing park with someone but we ended up not going because the trip is only 1 hour with car but freaking 3 hours with collective transport.


----------



## tea111red

comforted
a lot less alone
a lot more relieved

THANK God.


----------



## Kevin001

tea111red said:


> comforted
> a lot less alone
> a lot more relieved
> 
> THANK God.


Yes!

I've been waiting for you to say words like that for the longest, lol.


----------



## wiZZ

Like a piece of **** that's being thrown at a wall.


----------



## tea111red

Kevin001 said:


> Yes!
> 
> I've been waiting for you to say words like that for the longest, lol.


----------



## bewareofyou

Really good actually and I hope nothing ruins it


----------



## TryingMara

Feeling rattled after a car accident. Also thankful everyone is okay.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling really insignificant


----------



## knightofdespair

Crisigv said:


> Feeling really insignificant


How come?


----------



## Crisigv

knightofdespair said:


> How come?


Doesn't really matter, I guess.


----------



## knightofdespair

Crisigv said:


> Doesn't really matter, I guess.


The truth is everything that happens is insignificant.. Doesn't mean you aren't as important as everyone else though.















Just say this lol, you're a favorite around here at least


----------



## sliplikespace

Relatively okay, well as okay as I can be in terms of not actually being an anxious wreck over something at the moment.

I was thinking and honestly if I can just keep it together for the next week and a half or so, I should hopefully be okay for a little bit. I will be pretty consistently busy from the start of September through the end of October and I'm hoping that with so much going on and always something to look ahead to I'll be a bit less inclined to have episodes of severe depression or health anxiety like I have been at other times. There's obviously no guarantees but it's nice to try to be a bit hopeful sometimes.


----------



## Unknown Trooper

Doomed with chances of despair. 

Nah, just watched a good episode of Family Ties, feeling quite jiggly.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sketched


----------



## AllTheSame

Anxious. Trying to calm down. I'm about to visit my daughter in the psych hospital again and I really, really am hoping she's doing better than yesterday. Ffs, yesterday's visit was tough. Hope the meds are starting to work. Hope she's not feeling so low.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

good. Another week slightly ahead of target. Ive recently been moved into the new more "elite" group by the project manager and as a result, i have more work available to me now.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm ok. Just killed my workout, feel refreshed.


----------



## Crisigv

a little meh, stomach is unsettled and i can feel a tiny headache.


----------



## AceEmoKid

*fvckkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1*


----------



## ShatteredGlass

worthless and vaguely suicidal.... again.... i would appreciate it if either 1.) these ****ty feelings finally stop ****ing plaguing my existence literally 24/7, or 2.) i would just die lol


----------



## lackofflife

****ing angry and scared
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I've got post UFC 202 depression lol

Post Big Fight Depression is real.

I'm also horny and need to get myself hiking before I waste the whole facking summer.


----------



## TryingMara

Unattractive, especially after a comment was made today. I know they didn't mean much by it, but it still hurts. Plus I just caught sight of myself in the mirror- ugh. And I put more effort into trying to look nice today.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

TryingMara said:


> Unattractive, especially after a comment was made today. I know they didn't mean much by it, but it still hurts. Plus I just caught sight of myself in the mirror- ugh. And I put more effort into trying to look nice today.


What was the comment?


----------



## maitamiko

I feel fine, oddly enough. Not happy, not sad. Just content


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good. Cautiously optimistic. And very hopeful. But also worried. There is no such thing as "happy" or "sad" with me lately. Every emotion is complicated. As. ***. And I guess that's understandable because life is complicated as *** right now. I got some really good news today, and my day started out with me being annoyed at a billion little things but it got much better...things could have gone very, veeery differently today, the whole day could've gone to hell in a handbasket. Looking back everything really could not have turned out much better.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

annnd i continue to waste a copious amount of time. at this rate, i'm going to have to delay my legal studies test tomorrow. i got about 7 hours of sleep last night and i still feel like a corpse. :////


----------



## May19

confused and guilty. just caught up with my best friend that returned from Japan recently before we both head off to college. I feel really bad because when we were in Japan for a whole month together, i got mad at her that she never wanted to ask strangers for direction even though she knew Japanese. I was frustrated that she knew I suffer from anxiety, yet she expected me to do all asking around when she's the normal one. 

BUT...today she told me that she has social anxiety and she is really nervous about college because she doesn't think she would fit in at all. She told me about how she really doesn't know how to react to people at times or even if she knew how to react, she just doesn't say or do anything. At first I was being dismissive by telling her that she's really outgoing and bubbly, but then I remember when I met her in freshman year of high school.

How we both didn't talk to one another. We tried to talk but it never went far. And I remember how one day we just felt comfortable with each other to share about our interest and that's where the friendship took off. I just feel so guilty that in the past four years I've known her, I couldn't even tell that she was suffering from anxiety. No wonder, I felt like she hardly talked to people enough to know how some of the things she do are hurtful and inappropriate. I thought she was being lazy. I also feel guilty for getting mad at her and fighting with her in Japan for not putting in the effort to ask for help.

Now realizing that it's all because of social anxiety. Ah man... What a twist of fate.


----------



## TryingMara

Brum Hiker said:


> What was the comment?


Rather not say, kind of embarrassing.


----------



## Tibble

Kinda tired.
Wanting to cry because life is awful :3


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## kivi

Tired and anxious


----------



## Kevin001

Woke up with a crick in my neck....ugh. I hope this pain doesn't last long.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

So far pretty ok, the new futon made for a more comfortable nights sleep


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Same sh** different day. Meh.


----------



## TryingMara

Hungry, but in a pretty good mood overall. Kind of afraid to admit that cuz I feel then the whole world will come crashing down..


----------



## Kevin001

Bleh. Woke up with neck pain again but I'm throwing some weights around now trying to strengthen up and stuff.


----------



## the misanthrope

I am feeling anxious today. I woke up that way and I cant seem to shake the feeling of impending doom. I hate when I get into this state nothing seems to help, and I cannot get anything done.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored out of my brains.

Sigh


----------



## millenniumman75

Kevin001 said:


> Irritated. Waking up to new acne sucks. I'm hoping my off day goes well though.


It's bad when it's a multiday process to get that pimple going. The pain! I had one on my forehead that never "erupted". The swelling just went.


----------



## Crisigv

Alright for the moment.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired


----------



## Bawsome

Feeling a bit lost to be honest, so many things are up in the air at the moment i can only depend on my own mental strength for stability, no security although all security is merely illusory but try telling that to the monkey in my head that is at this moment taking deep breaths into a bag!


----------



## unemployment simulator

i've got a horrible cough. this seems to have developed after staying over at my dads, seems to have come from nothing. my dad has been ill with a cough for the last year, doctors can't figure it out. I seem to have developed a mystery cough as well. other than that I am in perfect health. I don't actually feel ill ,its just my throat feels a bit weird. its like there is something tickling the back of my throat all the time. mother seems to think its an allergy apparently the bed dad sleeps on has a mattress which is 40 years old :O
just imagine all the mites living in that!!:no
even if you aren't allergic to mites that will cause a problem in most people i'd imagine.


----------



## catcharay

Unhealthy. Today was candy chocolates and Doritos, then porterhouse steak. My junk food receptors are alive. Luckily I've got my bfs exercise influence. After today no more voluntary candy buys


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Tired of not having a meaningful connection with anyone.

Wish I could just accept being alone now.

Just laying here without a clue what to do.

Everything I do is alone.


----------



## Crisigv

a bit down


----------



## ShatteredGlass

running on 6 hours of sleep yet again... i feel like a corpse -_-


----------



## Friendonkey

Hopeful! Things may be looking up again!


----------



## Crisigv

Unsettled


----------



## AllTheSame

Tired, but otherwise really good. Looking forward to the weekend with my kids...we're gonna spend the weekend at the beach, and go to the Rays v Astros game Saturday.

Happy that tomorrow should be an easy day. I got my tough stores out of the way for this month. I think I actually overdid it a little, I may not have enough to get through eight hours. I can always revisit the ones I did earlier in the month, and those will be easy. Ffs I always, always have stuff to do at work so that's not an issue. I like being able to schedule whatever I want, whenever I want most of the time. I can schedule a store five miles from my house at the end of the day and be home way before rush hour traffic even starts. Feeling anxious about meeting my boss tomorrow, we're gonna load up the back of my SUV with supplies because I'm going out of town again next week to do resets. But out of town = more money, and I can pick from a list of hotels, wherever I want to stay. I kind of like it. Going out of town keeps it interesting....it's different people, different stores than I'm used to.


----------



## May19

Amazed. Seems like people amaze me every single day. Just when I thought I couldn't be surprised anymore, I'm surprised.


----------



## Lawrencepa

May19 said:


> Amazed. Seems like people amaze me every single day. Just when I thought I couldn't be surprised anymore, I'm surprised.


What's happened?


----------



## The Library of Emma

Feeling empty.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed. Lonely. Undesirable. Worthless. Annoyed.


----------



## FlowerLover

Okay. I feel okay.


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling like a stupid, piece of garbage.


----------



## tea111red

horrible. i am thinking about all the things wrong w/ me and am getting suicidal thoughts again. i'm aware i've fallen into a bad mindset and gotten knocked off the right path again.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Sorry for everyone who's feeling like ****. Wish I could help everyone.

I'm about to check my lotto ticket. Of course it will be another loser as the odds of winning are preposterous. lol

I think I'm so unlucky anyway that if I make a paper plane out of it and chuck it in the air, the odds of it doing a loop and coming back to poke me in the eye or some ****, are extremely high. lol

Anyway,

I'm supposed to be meeting someone I've known for years next week. However, she's gone cold on me and vanished AGAIN the last couple of day's, so once again, she probably won't go through with it.

It's ridiculous how long I've spoken to her for without meeting.

I'm mad for keep trying.


----------



## Kevin001

Anxiety is picking up....should be fine in a few hrs though. Just finished a 40hr work week. Emotionally drained right now. I feel a panic attack coming alone.


----------



## JoelNZ

I've been on Mirtazapine now for a week. I feel a lot better. Hopefully I gradually improve over the next few weeks.


----------



## tea111red

Brum Hiker said:


> Sorry for everyone who's feeling like ****. Wish I could help everyone.


that's a kind thing to say.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> that's a kind thing to say.


Not something I can do though. 

Hard enough helping myself, let alone others.


----------



## tea111red

Brum Hiker said:


> Not something I can do though.
> 
> Hard enough helping myself, let alone others.


well, expressing a kind sentiment is better than nothing and is uplifting on it's own. it's nice to know people care.


----------



## funnynihilist

Another sad weekend.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> well, expressing a kind sentiment is better than nothing and is uplifting on it's own. it's nice to know people care.


:smile2:



funnynihilist said:


> Another sad weekend.


It sucks mate. :frown2:


----------



## TryingMara

Unsettled, frustrated. I've tried talking about things as well as distracting myself and neither has worked. I'm annoyed and jittery.


----------



## jennay92

Been working at my first job for 1 month and 3 weeks. I've conquered a lot of things i was afraid of throughout it. I have made friends there, too! I honestly feel happier than i have in a few years. I feel proud of myself for once! :boogie


----------



## Tibble

Awful. Driving makes me extremely anxious and sick to my stomach. Sadly where I live it's required. Hate being in panic mode behind the wheel 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crap.

Around thousands of people yesterday, and just felt like a ghost really.


----------



## Lawrencepa

Another day of doing nothing and going nowhere. wishing I had someone to talk to :/


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lawrencepa said:


> Another day of doing nothing and going nowhere. wishing I had someone to talk to :/


Me too mate. ****ing hate sundays as well.

I still get that ****ty sunday, pre school/work start of the week feeling even though I haven't done either for years as well lol

Wish I was out in the country having a relaxing time with a nice woman I clicked with.


----------



## Overdrive

empty, feeling like a big failure


----------



## Innocent James

like fragmented pieces held together with cheap 99¢ store tape.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Innocent James said:


> like fragmented pieces held together with cheap 99¢ store tape.


That's an apt description I can relate to


----------



## Friendonkey

Happy since I'm being liked by someone I like back


----------



## Crisigv

Disappointed in myself


----------



## rockyraccoon

****ty, depressed, lonely as ever...


----------



## rdrr

tired, exhausted, a bit frustrated at myself.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i fvcking hate myself lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Loadingcharacter

I'm so tired of life, I'm not suicidal or anything but I'm extremely ****ing tired of my ****ty life 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## slyfox

Tired and I need to be up by 8am


----------



## The Library of Emma

The Condition of Keegan said:


> Sad, depressed, feeling lonely...


:squeeze I don't know if you're still feeling this way today, but if you want to talk later let me know.


----------



## Bawsome




----------



## Kevin001

Kinda appreciated for the first time in awhile.......feels good.


----------



## lackofflife

depressed....sad asf.....stressed...i hate this ****ing life ughghgh
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Crisigv

a little lonely


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I'm seriously running out of time, but there's nothing to motivate me to make real change.

Anything I do do is just a temporary distraction from how bad my life is.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm a bit down at the moment.


----------



## Kevin001

Jeff271 said:


> rather sleepy, need a cuddle partner


This ^^


----------



## euphoria04

Listening to Mogwai and feeling deep feels. Of regret, and of longing, and of reflection, and some such.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

buzzed & really emotional. feel like i could fall in love with someone right now, yet i also feel like i could cry at a cute animal.


----------



## AllTheSame

Meh. I don't feel like going to work today lmao. I just, am not feeling it. Gots to do what you gots to do but I'm just not in the mood to put up with any bull**** today. One of the things the woman that was training me was trying help me understand is you can push back in my position sometimes. I'm most def in the mood to push back today if I have to.

I'm also owed hundreds, and hundreds of dollars in mileage and meals, going back a couple of months. I think it's close to three or four hundred dollars, maybe more. I'm gonna get everything together today after work and call my boss. And I'm going to turn that **** in and get paid. Now. He keeps telling me to hold off, he's going to show me the ins and outs of how to do it (tips and tricks). But I'm done waiting. On the upside, I've been getting by just fine without the $. So I could use it....for anything. It's like free money, I could blow it on literally whatever I want...my kids, myself, whatever.


----------



## thetown

very very scared. I have 2 job interviews this afternoon. Enough said.


----------



## The Library of Emma

Lovecrushed said:


> very very scared. I have 2 job interviews this afternoon. Enough said.


i'm sending you some belated luck. i hope it went well.


----------



## peace_love

A little down, but hopeful.


----------



## The Library of Emma

Feeling very empty and achy at the moment. Like i could cry but i'm too apathetic to even do that.

I wish i saw my shrink tmo.


----------



## thetown

The Library of Emma said:


> i'm sending you some belated luck. i hope it went well.


Thank you for your kind words. I just found out that I got in 

They must have really liked me to accept me on the same day as the interview lol.


----------



## tea111red

i am extremely meticulous and it drives me crazy sometimes.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

electric


----------



## Kevin001

Hopeful.......things might be turning for me. Fingers crossed.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I feel like hiding from the world forever...catching a ride to work in 20 though


----------



## Lostintheshuffle

Crappy. I've just had to drop out of all of my Fall college courses because my stomach issue isn't under control. Nausea, vomiting, pain... and my freaking doctor is on vacation until the end of next week. I feel like a loser for having to drop classes for this semester because of something so stupid. I wish my college offered online courses


----------



## Plasma

I'm feeling a-ok.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i'm screaming bc i subjected myself to a strong coffee with very little milk this morning and i still feel like a damn zombie............... i need moar ;-;


----------



## Crisigv

very lonely at the moment


----------



## Andre

Crisigv said:


> very lonely at the moment


Sorry. I feel it, too. Also starting to get nausea and something like horror but a weak type I guess because I have low EQ today.


----------



## The Library of Emma

The Library of Emma said:


> Feeling very empty and achy at the moment. Like i could cry but i'm too apathetic to even do that.
> 
> I wish i saw my shrink tmo.


this except worse. But i actually do see my shrink tmo, haha.


----------



## Crisigv

Rufus said:


> Sorry. I feel it, too. Also starting to get nausea and something like horror but a weak type I guess because I have low EQ today.


i'm sorry


----------



## greentea33

Alone.miserable.


----------



## everlong

Anxious. What a big surprise.


----------



## tea111red

I am absolutely exhausted.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

sleepy


----------



## Andre

Crisigv said:


> i'm sorry


Thanks.


----------



## everlong

Feeling of regret. I lost someone that meant a lot to me because of something stupid I said and did.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sick of everyone else & burntout


----------



## theloneleopard

Hopeful

EDIT: Happy! It's raining! *rejoices*


----------



## TryingMara

At the moment, I feel relieved.


----------



## AllTheSame

I'm feeling pretty good. I'm ahead of schedule at work. I talked to management today before I left, and he said he's been walking around and has a good idea of what I've done this week, and he's happy with it. I also snuck our product in, got a few more facings in and bumped us up more to eye level in a few spots. I'm going to hit a new store tomorrow and then drive back home. This stuff is easy, when I'm doing resets...there's no plan in these stores, so it's all up to me. I just can't take space from our competitors (or not so much of it that it pisses them off). And it's mostly just having a knack for making it look good, getting it seen and helping it sell, putting it all into categories and organizing like the consumers want, and trying to get our top sellers noticed. And I think I did pretty OK with all of that. This week really could not have gone any better.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling a little left out, due to my SA.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Really anxious and annoyed.


----------



## AllTheSame

Disappointed. I understand keeping things professional in a professional setting, but....ffs....this woman was giving me all. kinds. of. openings. Not just once, for the last few days ffs. Goddamitt I really do not know what is wrong with me sometimes. She opened up to me in so, so many different ways and I get the feeling she doesn't do that to everyone, and we have so much in common....why didn't you reciprocate? Why didn't you take a chance? Why didn't you ask for her number? Not to make it weird....just....my God man, it's not that hard, say hey I appreciate you going out of your way to help me (and she really did) let me buy you lunch, and if she says no, then just let it go. Now I'll never know. It's not that ****** hard, asking her out to lunch. Or, I could stop by her store tomorrow on my way back home. But. I probably won't. I'll probably chicken out.


There are times when I really, really, really hate myself, and this is one of those times. I....deserve to die in a fiery car crash. For. Fuqs. Sake. I really do. I hate myself when I get like this. I absolutely ****** hate it, despise that about myself.


----------



## Cashel

Anxious. I applied for a couple jobs and I'm terrified of the interviews. A bit tired too, my medication is messing with my sleep.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hunger headache at the moment


----------



## tea111red

i need people to just understand and not give me a hard time for my shortcomings. i've been worn thin.


----------



## cosmicslop

I feel like I want to take a nap and then wake up and do nothing. It's Friday, so I'mma treat myself.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad, lonely, anxious, and stupid. I hate my life.


----------



## zonebox

With my last couple of posts, like a jerk.. But the context was spot on, at least I hope it was. If not, then I am gonna feel bad about it, will be shamed, and eventually get over it.

Beh, I'm feeling okay right now. No massive sense of depression has a hold over me, I'm fairly resilient to the usual day to day crap. And really, I have this awesome forum as well as the _World Wide Web_ to keep me entertained!

You know, peeps of SAS, my job literally entails going to many people's homes every day. I see it all, I really do. I see the cleanest of folks, rich people's homes, down to trailers in the middle of nowhere, with absolute garbage and mold growing on the walls. Over the past three years, I have seen hundreds of homes, and met many more people. I've even gone into a home, where a lady was left dead for two weeks, and the smell was horrible, absolutely nasty. I've seen so many people, in so many spots.

I've lived so many years, and experienced so many different things... I've had a lot of odd jobs, been in a lot of different places, seen so many things.

I am feeling okay, not in accordance to my _rating _ of how I perceive myself to others. Beyond such a silly measurement, I feel pretty good.

I feel sort of bad for others that put such a huge emphases on it, at the same time, I just want to slap people across their heads and snap them out of it.. but hey, that is not my place.

To think, 1,000 years ago, most of our ancestors were living without plumbing, and each day was a challenge to now. And here we are now.

I'm doing pretty good right now, life is good.


----------



## bluesplash

rather low


----------



## FunnySeeingUHere

*Please HELP ME!*

I was bullied alot during elementary to Middle school (6th grade).
I changed schools because of it, In 7th grade i was quite popular and 8th grade just started..
I am at a new school again and i have no friends. School has been in for 4weeks and i dont have anyone..
at lunch i am always scared and always thinking and stressing about who im going to sit with at lunch.
Even at home i cry myself to sleep at night worried about it (EVEN ON THE WEEKNDS!!)
I try and put it out my mind but it makes it worse.
Im really pretty so when i go to the cafeteria and i sit by myself people always ask why im sitting alone.
If nobody asks, then im stared at the entired 30mins of lunch... its embarrsing!! 
Plus the fact boys stare and says sexual things to me because of the fact that im by myself.
Does anyone else have this problem or if not does anyone know how to help me??! :frown2:


----------



## Kevin001

Work was crappy but its crazy how one person can change things around for you. I'm peachy now.


----------



## lackofflife

im feeling very hopeless and lonely
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## catcharay

I'm supposed to feel awful.. but I feel nothing. When things are fine, it also feels empty. Like a neutral zone, that's robotic-like so it feels more on the bad side. Except for yesterday, when I excessively cried over attempting to book a flight for an impromptu trip to Cairns and searching all day for an airbnb room. Even trying to draft an itinerary that was comparative to my sisters turned me into a crumpling crying fool. Such is my threshold before things go wayward. My behaviour is unfair, so why am I not mustering energy to be better. Perhaps deeply I've accepted that I'm like this and already resigned myself to what's 'inevitable'.


----------



## tea111red

ff9438tuh4ijre9vuhbjeirvjhbejnvone jnk


----------



## TryingMara

Today was a pretty low day. Felt miserable.


----------



## Crisigv

Kinda crappy. If this is how I'm going to feel all day, might as well start off this way.


----------



## Crisigv

miserable


----------



## Kevin001

Pretty good, video chatted with a girl I'm really interested in and it went well.


----------



## SoundsOfSilence

Worried. School's been keeping me busy (which explains why I haven't been logging on much) and I'm nervous cause it starts again tomorrow. Help me. :crying:


----------



## Lyddie

Very stuck and lost. Without direction, And I don't know how to get back on track anymore. My head space isn't that great at the moment, but I want to improve and I am trying to find solutions to help. I went for a long walk/adventure today to do a bit of soul searching, I sat on a swing at a playground for a good while, and did a fair bit of crying it all out. But I have an amazing girlfriend who I adore and who helps me get through the rough days. <3 

Not use to venting online, but this feels pretty good so far. Wish I could lend an ear to whoever needs it on here. <3


----------



## evopsych

having a very sad day.. had a therapy session.. but still feel very hopeless.. The thought that I have so many more years to live seems very upsetting. I know I'm capable of having better days. But it all feels so inane.  Everything in this world seems so depressing. Love to all though.. I wish I was capable of wishful thinking or of feeling hope.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed, lonely, worried, and I have a headache.


----------



## Mrs Robot

Content.


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling pretty OK today. Work went pretty well, I got a lot done and feel like I could almost do this with my eyes closed now. I don't think I'm going to get bored with this, either....it's like every store I go to is a new challenge, though....I do feel like I could take on more than this. I feel like one day, in the not-so-distant future, I could do my boss' job, and he's told me he wants to train me how to do his job, because in his words "I'm not gonna do this **** forever, I have a wife and kids I love and I'm not married to this ****** job and one day I'm gonna retire" lmao.


----------



## tea111red

God, help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## cuppy

shame :c


----------



## MusicDays8

I am ok but tired. Work had been pretty busy as well.


----------



## tea111red

i'm really angry and unhappy.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Uncomfortable.


----------



## fishstew

with my hands


----------



## Kevin001

Conflicted


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry, anxious, annoyed, alone


----------



## Crisigv

down


----------



## Kevin001

Pretty good atm. :grin2:


----------



## ShatteredGlass

im feeling rly irked by the fact that im trash


----------



## The Quiet Girl

I'm feeling pretty drunk, but still severely depressed and anxious. Go figure.


----------



## natsume

Incredibly in love, incredibly happy. Haven't felt true happiness in so long.


----------



## rdrr

I cant describe how i am feeling right now.


----------



## coeur_brise

Like I need to be fueled by there's not enough mojo to go around and my dreams fall flat like a sunken cake. A bit deferred, if you will.


----------



## millenniumman75

Overworked and exhausted - it's 5am and I am turning in....finally.


----------



## Crisigv

Like crap. And I have a long day and long weekend of work ahead of me. I think I will feel like dying for real.


----------



## Kevin001

Stagnant, I need to be doing more. Taking more steps to independence.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

In desperate need of vacation/isolation time


----------



## In The Shade

Lonely


----------



## Nunuc

Anxious, little depressed, stupid.


----------



## Bad Wahsabi

End of work I tried to say "have a good weekend" to one of my co-workers. No response. Triggered my anxiety. Feeling over stimulated, FML. I hate this feeling. Need to hide in my room.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Crappy.


----------



## nicetyy

Vulnerable, lonely, panicked


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good. This week went well at work, out of town, and some of my stores were a pretty big challenge but I think I did well. I talked to my boss and told him I only did two stores this week (I was resetting multiple sections in each, all by myself) and explained the problems I ran into and he literally said "So. You did two stores. That's fine. We'll get it done, it's far more important to get it done right than to get it done fast".

I also think I need to trust myself more. I need to trust my instincts, my gut reaction sometimes, and quit questioning why. I'm reminding myself that some of the things that have happened recently are sort of a message to do that, so none of it was a waste, it was more of a learning experience lol.

And I'm back in my own place, starting to relax, will sleep in my own bed tonight, and am looking forward to this weekend with my kids.


----------



## Crisigv

Not good. Been feeling a little sick all day.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Depressed & lonely, yet I wouldn't want company if it were an option


----------



## SouthWest

I feel exploited.

My contract at work ends next week and they need me to stay on because of a staff shortage. The problem is they want me to work under an agency, which means less pay and no guarantee of steady hours.

To add insult to injury they want me to train someone who's just started working for the agency how to do my job - the same week they're letting me go. I've been working there for years moving back and forth between contracts and agency work and I think I've finally had enough.

I've always been dependable and made myself available for cover when they really needed me, and what do I get for my trouble? Stiffed.


----------



## harrison

I feel very sad. One of our dogs is sick and we're going to have to put her down. What a terrible thing to have to do. She has an incredibly expressive face and is very intelligent. When she looks at us it's like she's trying to talk to us - it's going to be horrible when it's the last time and we have to say goodbye.

Such a horrible decision to have to make.


----------



## nicetyy

Feeling depressed and alone. I hear everone in the apt complex moving around with thier families, going hre and there. My life is dead.


----------



## SilentLyric

not so cute. last night, bad choices were made...


----------



## lackofflife

i feel empty
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## The Library of Emma

i've got a headache swarming around in the front of my brain. I'm really tired today, unmotivated. I wish i had a nice shoulder to lean my head on, lol


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty good.  Managed another week just a bit over target which is a bit satisfying.


----------



## PrincessV

I wish I could delete this account. 😂😂😂


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

PrincessV said:


> I wish I could delete this account. &#128514;&#128514;&#128514;


Aww, why?


----------



## PrincessV

It's really uncomfortable... lol. Though nice to see you again!!


----------



## Barakiel

We've got a repair person coming today so I'm gonna be locked out of my room for a bit. It seems like I'm always anxious or depressed when this happens. :blank


----------



## Nunuc

Like crap.


----------



## TheGagaGirl

Depressed. I really hate myself and my life


----------



## Miach

Sad and ashamed. I feigned sickness to avoid going to my cousins wedding party, but now I feel regretful and ashamed about not going. We were quite close growing up, but I haven't spoken to her for about 10 years. And it was at least partially to do with shame that I didn't go as well, ashamed of how I've become. I didn't want her to see the void in my eyes, nor the damage or emptiness of my mind through words and expression (or lack of).

It isn't just her the shame is reserved for of course, it is pretty much everyone, but it is worse for people I used to know. And of course, I also didn't want to go because of the anxiety, and I wouldn't enjoy it, I never do anymore. But now, they are all still there having a good time (which is great, I hope they do have a good time, I'm happy for them), whilst I'm here feeling bad. But if I did go, I would just sit or stand there like a vegetable, and not say or do much. I'm better off here, alone in the dark.


----------



## Nunuc

Like "I gotta get out of my ****ing cave...but too :afr"


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good, but I'm almost always feeling pretty awesome when I'm with my kids, they are my whole world. It was good to be able to sleep in this morning, too cos I was starting to really get behind on sleep, and when I do that I'm just fuqd.

We had a lot of fun at the baseball game yesterday, it was sold out, 40K+ people, and it was half Astros, half Cubs fans so everyone was really into it, cheering back and forth trying to drown the other fan's out. Cubs games are oc on TWGN I think? So anyone and everyone who has even basic cable gets Cubs games, no matter where you are in the US. And there are just a whole lot of people who love the Cubbies. I was surprisingly relaxed....my oldest daughter sat next to me and we danced (in our seats) with each other when the dance cam came on a few times. She was pretty talkative and in a good mood, and so were my other two.

I think today we're gonna watch football. We interrupt this life to bring you this presentation of the National Football League....


----------



## The Library of Emma

Inadequate. so yeah, crappy, but could be worse. there are still chances to learn and become less inadequate in the future.


----------



## The Quiet Girl

Feeling pretty ****ty.


----------



## Bawsome

Im feeling like i should be practicing my sketching instead of wasting my time on this site, cant let guilt tell me what to do and i can waste my time how i like >


----------



## SplendidBob

Little bit better today, the high dose PPI's seem to be working on my burning stomach, or having cut out caffeine, almost (a single instant barely counts). 

Managed to raise my blood pressure a little over the last few days with water and salt, so not feeling quite as horrible. I am assuming it's too speedy weight loss causing the low bp, dizziness and so forth. Caffeine withdrawal likely isn't helping.

Doctors tomorrow though, so will see what they say about it all. Trying to keep my OCD mind off it all (not doing that well with that tbh hehe).


----------



## Yer Blues

I'm feeling a bit Scottish...


----------



## pheniboner

Alone


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, sad, lonely, bored, and tired.


----------



## harrison

Manic.


----------



## Kevin001

Damn good, my team won.....Patriots!


----------



## Nunuc

Old.


----------



## The Library of Emma

tired...exhausted... why is it AM instead of PM, i don't understand... -_-


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good. Really good for a Monday morning, actually, I had a good weekend with my kids. 

And anxious. The Warrior Princess called me, and I let it go to vm. I really should call her back. I couldn't take her call (seriously, I was with my kids) but I should see what she wants. She has never once called me for any kind of work related question...it's almost always to flirt. She didn't leave me a vm. Call her back. Don't be a puss. Call her back, ffs. Call her back or I swear to God you deserve to die in a fiery car crash. 

~sent from my GalaxyS4


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Let down again. Avoided again by a friend, again.

I don't know why I bother trying to speak with other people with mental health issues.

It just brings me down, makes me feel worse. 

I wish to god I was normal so I could meet people without so much baggage, and who weren't such a drain on me.

I'm exhausted by life, having to constantly battle with my own issues, and others.

Had a big row with my folks, told them how much my friend makes me depressed, which makes my folks depressed, and how I wish we could all just drop dead.

My dad said he wouldn't have had me if he knew I'd suffer so much.

They shouldn't have had me.

They were working class/poor people, so I was already at a disadvantage. 

It's just not worth the risk of bringing people into this world, because you have no idea the troubles they could face. 

Life is too ****ing hard for me, and most of my time is joyless.


----------



## Sergio Santos

I feel like nobody wants to be around me or understand how i feel being in this kind of situation frustates me but nobody cares to even ask how i feel they think you're okay by seeing you from The putside but on The inside im broken lonely scared hopeless isolated i wish this never happend to me i have alot of things in my mind that i cannot Express it well...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## The Quiet Girl

I'm feeling a deep depression-fueled sense of apathy. It's kinda awesome at the same time, like nothing and nobody really bothers me. It's nice to just not give a single **** every now and then.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely at the moment


----------



## AllTheSame

I'm missing my kids. Wish I was with them.

Here's a thought.

My ex-wife just bought my oldest daughter an $800 I-Phone. And she loves it, and it is a really awesome phone, it's huge. I like it. I want one. Why do I not have one? Because, right now, I have other priorities. 

So.....

To my ex, don't b*tch at me about how broke you are, and how little the child support payments are. I pay child support, every, single, week. You have never, ever understood how money works, for as long as I've been with you, and 18 years is a long time, sweetie. You spend money until every credit and debit card you have just will not swipe anymore, will not be taken anymore, lmfao. When it comes to finances, that was for me to deal with, and now that I'm gone you are just fuqd. You don't have a clue. But you'd better get one, quick lol.

That sweet little *** of yours that went screwing around...that had affairs....that was the reason why we got divorced....what is that sweet little *** of yours doing now to support, to raise our kids, now that your fun is over with. Where are the guys you slept with? They're long gone.


----------



## Sergio Santos

Feeling lonely like no one cares about me or wants to know how im doing 😢


----------



## Wings of Amnesty

****ing furious, how the hell can this level of incompetence be allowed.


----------



## The Library of Emma

Just...eh.

i can't appreciate feeling good.

is this just how i'm meant to be? this hurts, but everything else feels wrong...


----------



## Zatch

Finally got around to watching that movie. I thought it'd just be okay but it ended up bludgeoning me with feels.

Thing of beauty. I'll probably watch it again with someone.


----------



## tehuti88

Tired, ill, worried.


----------



## May19

Exhausted, I went to bed at around 4 am and woke up at 9 am. I had to run to safeway, walmart, target, bed bath and beyond, and get lunch for my family at Chipotle. I feel like I'm an 18 year old housewife goddamn it. Not to mention, there's worker in the house so I've been trying to like help them and give them some food/water. Meanwhile, my parents are just chilling and doing their own stuff like watching tv.


----------



## copper

My back has been bothering me. Gets worse at work. I thought it was my chair and had them buy a more ergonomic one without success. It is hurting in the tail bone region and I think it is pinching the sciatic nerve because I get pain down my leg. Then it gets better at home since I don't have to sit in an office chair. I always get up walking around and going to different program sites. But I do have to spend time working on paperwork. Some people tell me to go to the Chiropractor and others including my dad says stay away from them. The pain gets so bad I am almost in tears.


----------



## AllTheSame

copper said:


> My back has been bothering me. Gets worse at work. I thought it was my chair and had them buy a more ergonomic one without success. It is hurting in the tail bone region and I think it is pinching the sciatic nerve because I get pain down my leg. Then it gets better at home since I don't have to sit in an office chair. I always get up walking around and going to different program sites. But I do have to spend time working on paperwork. Some people tell me to go to the Chiropractor and others including my dad says stay away from them. The pain gets so bad I am almost in tears.


I would def go to my regular doc, get a referral if need be and get it Xrayed or get an MRI and get it looked at. It could be something relatively minor like a pinched nerve, or it could be more. I was having tingling / numbness in my toes and legs, and a lot of back pain about 15 years ago and it turned out to be a slipped disc in my back (I put it off but eventually decided to have surgery). I'd get it checked out though, esp if it's been going on for a while or is getting worse.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

whooo boy i'm nervous. my body is shaky and overly energised, while simultaneously crushed by apathy. paradoxical, in a way. when i get on the school bus today i'm going to have to ask for a free ride because typical neglectful ol' me forgot to get some cash for the bus card. what if, what if, what if.......


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mild headache


----------



## TryingMara

Betrayed, foolish, confused, angry, tired, hungry, stressed.


----------



## sad1231234

Kind of worthless and like there is such a long way to go to achieve anything


----------



## Tibble

Enlightened. Perceptive. Glad I'm opening my eyes to this corrupted society.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed...


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Nauseated, dizzy, headache.


----------



## Charmander

Feeling a million different emotions


----------



## Flora20

Sad, lonely depressed


----------



## Nunuc

Lazy, anxious, lonely, weird, goofy


----------



## Jadewolf

Drenched as I was caught out in a downpour of rain. I'm feeling better now after changing and having coffee.


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good, happy it's Friday. Ffs, I have a lot to do today. Work, then hopefully a doctor's appointment, then picking up my daughter's bday gifts, and I'd like to look around a little bit to make sure I'm getting her something that's a good fit for her, that she'll like.

It's really not all that much to do, lol, and I'm feeling good today, I just don't even feel like opening my front door, I don't feel like being around people right now. Meh. I just need to take it one thing at a time.


----------



## SouthWest

I was feeling fine today until my tooth chipped - the same tooth that had a filling a couple of months ago and I paid a pretty penny for. I called but they won't be able to see me until Monday.

I'm now feeling somewhat swindled.


----------



## Red October

Stressed, exhausted, dehydrated

I started a new job recently, and I'm still not really settled in or confident with all the things i'm meant to learn; and today I was sent into the city with a heap of important documents to lodge at a government office

1h15m on a packed train into the city, then trying to find my way through the busy streets to an office i've never been to/seen before; then going in and finding out some of the paperwork wasn't done right :S

I fixed it up as best I could, had to call my supervisor to get some extra details that had been left out of the paperwork, and got it all compiled and submitted like 2min before the office closed

I left the office covered in stress-sweat and feeling sick, caught another busy train home, then went straight to bed and slept for a few hours

tl;dr, involved in high-stakes legal work well out of my depth, in a crowded and unfamilliar place; encountered problems and had to improvise solution on the spot

at least it's the weekend now


----------



## spicyketchup

I'm feeling awful, I avoided all my friends for two days but I don't think they were all that concerned. I feel really guilty. I feel like I just cut myself out of the circle and I'm not sure what's going to happen from here.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless, annoyed, anxious, depressed


----------



## Kiara93

Terrible!

Just yesterday, everything was ok. I had a job and now I lost due to my mental illness. 
Over month ago I've passed an interview and a practical test to one very good work. But when I was filling my contract, I honestly mentioned my mental problem. After that, everything has changed. My employer called me and said that this vacancy is already taken. And they can not deal with me further. I felt blue and was totally broken.
My brother told that I must fight and sent me the article about medical questions on the interview: http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/2313.aspx?CategoryID=68
Really very good article, but I didn't follow it. Then he sent the link to the law journal to the article about an importance of the law protection: http://www.pibriefupdate.com/conten...786-in-a-position-that-requires-legal-support And he insisted that I should hire a lawyer and do something! But I didn't want to do what he wanted.
A week ago I got another job and everything was good. But yesterday I lost it too. And everything repeated again.
I'm not able to do anything! No call, no meeting people. When I need to make a call I begin to suffocate, my hands sweating and I get a headache when I speak with strange people. That's a simple call and I don't want to imagine how I can go through with it!

I don't know what I should do tomorrow.


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

I'm so tired from moving furniture and painting my room. I'm body tired but not mind tired so I can't sleep.


----------



## Kevin001

Excited and nervous at the same time. I'm meeting @CurrentlyJaded in less than 4 hrs.


----------



## Cascades

Like a queen. Every single time I've bet on a sport I've won  Farrr out I'm good!


----------



## Crisigv

I'm so tired. I have no energy. I've been trying to get up to shower for a while now, but can't. I know I will wake up late tomorrow morning.


----------



## sometimeslonely

I'm feeling lonely, like no one cares about me, like no one cares that I exist. But hopefully one day I won't feel this way anymore.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Jadewolf said:


> Drenched as I was caught out in a downpour of rain. I'm feeling better now after changing and having coffee.


Same here. But i'm having wine instead of coffee


----------



## tehuti88

Really hurt.

I wasn't sure if my dad knew I'd been approved for surgery or not, just that he was so angry about getting lost while driving us down there that he vowed he would never drive there again, meaning we'd need to find other transportation. That's fine, because I actually would've preferred somebody else, like my aunt and uncle, to drive us down there (they didn't get lost the first time, and got us there like an hour or so faster), but he'd refused that and said he would do it. I overhead him telling my brother on the phone, when I was _in the next room_, that he would "bite the bullet" and do this...I guess that should've tipped me off to what an annoyance my issues are. I just wasn't aware _how much_ of an annoyance. He wasn't acting angry or upset when I came out to the waiting room, so I figured things were okay.

Anyway, when I asked my mother yesterday if he knew my surgery had been approved, she'd said yes, and that his only reaction was to say, _"S***."_

That _really_ hurts.  My mother tried to dampen it by saying he hadn't known where the surgery was going to take place, but I've been saying all along, Ann Arbor, that's the only place that will do it--there's *no way* he could have thought otherwise. I mean, why else did he think we kept going to Ann Arbor??

But anyway...I've been suffering for eight years now, I get the best news I've gotten in years, finally an end to this seemingly endless misery...and just because he _volunteered_ to drive us, and got lost, and felt frustrated about that, my own dad seems to think my getting approved for surgery is a BAD thing, just a major annoyance to him. He'd been encouraging me all along (even when I expressed worry about the long drive, he said it would be okay), but now that the end is in sight, he's angry? Why can't he be happy for me? Would he rather I just kept suffering? I've had frequent thoughts of killing myself if I have to put up with this for another year (another reason this news is such a relief), and I've made no secret of that, not that my parents ever take that seriously. But still. Just because he doesn't handle frustration well, he'd rather I be so miserable that I want to die...? 

Similarly but not quite as hurtful because I'm used to it, my mother keeps warning me about the recovery period, and looks skeptical when I describe the procedure, like she doubts it will work, doesn't want me to get my hopes up (yet whenever I express my own doubt, she tells me I'm being too negative), and just seems to be trying to convince me not to go through with this--WTF! *It's like they didn't believe I'd actually WANT this surgery until I was finally approved!* Did they think I was jumping through all these hoops, letting slews of doctors and nurses poke and prod and put things in me and stretch me out for years on end, only to halt inches from the finish line and say, "Eh, I'd rather keep suffering, thanks," and then quit??

I hate being considered such a burden. I'm so sorry my stupid f***ing medical issues don't respond to treatment (can't say I didn't try _everything_ there is) and are such an annoyance, it's not like I chose them. If I had it my way I would've died at birth and saved my parents all the disappointment and trouble I've been my entire life. Unfortunately, that choice was out of my hands. So was developing SA and interstitial cystitis.

Neither one of them is aware of just how much I hate to see _them_ suffering (because they get irritated when I express concern for them--and then when I keep my worries to myself, they think I don't care), how every time they have a health problem I rather wish I could take it from them and handle it myself. I don't feel that way with any expectations in mind but I wish they felt a _bit_ of that in return.

I'd understand him not wanting to drive us. I'd prefer he not, myself. And I'm grateful that they've both put up with me and my troubles as much as they have, when they shouldn't have to and I wish they didn't have to. But that _"S***"_...that _really_ hurts. I wish they could just be happy for me.


----------



## Lelouch Lamperouge

tehuti88 said:


> I wish they could just be happy for me.


Wow that's a messed up story. I feel for you. Hope you get your surgery and it goes well.


----------



## kivi

Good. It's cinema day :boogie. We thought about doing something with my sisters before I go and we had advantageous tickets so...


----------



## Kevin001

Still on a high from yesterday, time to go home now but my mom is tripping because of the rain.


----------



## Jadewolf

Scrub-Zero said:


> Same here. But i'm having wine instead of coffee


Beer would do me fine with rare steak on a nice stormy day :grin2:


----------



## Crisigv

Not good. I feel like a joke.


----------



## kivi

kivi said:


> Good. It's cinema day :boogie. We thought about doing something with my sisters before I go and we had advantageous tickets so...


It didn't happen. It was a boring day. I feel sad and lonely.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Jadewolf said:


> Beer would do me fine with rare steak on a nice stormy day :grin2:


My kind of wolf...lady.


----------



## TryingMara

Nervous, stressed, tired.


----------



## Sliusarek

Bad.
All I do is sleep and YouTube.


----------



## Mur

Crisigv said:


> Not good. I feel like a joke.


:hug


----------



## In The Shade

Pretty tired. It's almost 5am and I should be sleeping


----------



## ShatteredGlass

disgusting


----------



## Antonio9

Pretty anxious about school tomorrow  ughhhhhh I hate this feeling.


----------



## Jadewolf

Scrub-Zero said:


> My kind of wolf...lady.


Thanks but I'm really not ladylike at all >


----------



## Cascades

Homesick. ; (


----------



## 806210

So boredddd... School sucks


----------



## harrison

Much better. I went to see my old psychiatrist. Taking the pills again and things are coming back down to normal speed.


----------



## herk

slightly productive, applied to three jobs today


----------



## AllTheSame

don said:


> Much better. I went to see my old psychiatrist. Taking the pills again and things are coming back down to normal speed.


Good to hear, man. I recently got back on one of my meds and am kind of in the same place, feeling better.

For myself, sometimes I'll stop taking it because I start feeling just numb, sometimes because I'm feeling better and think to myself I don't need it anymore. I most def need it lol, one of these days I'll learn. Maybe.

I just finished a 4 hour staff meeting at my hotel, with more people than I cared to count...I must have introduced myself to 30 people, at least..and my anxiety was really manageable, barely there. Having lunch with my boss, his boss, blah, blah, blah. I think I would really be struggling if I wasn't on all my meds.

~sent from my GalaxyS4


----------



## SilentLyric

anxious and uncertain about the future. those two things are probably related.


----------



## cosmicslop

In control and confident thanks to the pomodoro technique. Something about that time management technique just works best for me.


----------



## kivi

Tired. I've been busy, again today while getting documents and health reports which dorms want. Though, my university's dorm didn't choose me because of relatively high income of my parents but I'm still happy in a way because that private dorm I'll move is better than my uni's but more expensive.


----------



## 806210

Nervous as hell right now cause it's picture day :/


----------



## SoundsOfSilence

Tired, lost, and pensive. :serious:


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Not great


----------



## Jadewolf

Growling


----------



## thomasjune

Mentally tired. Worrying about stuff that doesn't really matter but I can't help myself. Maybe I'm just too weak for this world.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## In The Shade

Mentally worn out


----------



## Zatch

Gone. Not in a bad way, but I have to wonder what that means.


----------



## KelsKels

Depressed, everything feels heavy.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

KelsKels said:


> Depressed, everything feels heavy.


Me too. Better vibes tomorrow hopefully!


----------



## kivi

I feel bored and a bit nervous. I'll move to another city soon and I want to go on a short trip on the city, here, I feel like I'll miss here.


----------



## Kevin001

Sick...ugh


----------



## Miach

I can see the beauty, but I can't feel it.


----------



## Carolyne

Wasting all my free time.


----------



## Sergio Santos

Feel like I have no hope for the future and feel useless no one understands how I feel or even bothers in asking how I feel I just wish I had a friend..


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Annoyed.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Soul destroyed


----------



## catcharay

I am sorry.


----------



## Carolyne

Feeling down and nervous about my future


----------



## The Library of Emma

The Condition of Keegan said:


> Feeling really depressed, no motivation, and thinking about sad things about myself. Also feeling shaky


I feel the same way.

we should hang out


----------



## cuppy

Alone, sad, cry-y


----------



## Kevin001

Still sick.......got meds and soup though.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Major depression


----------



## discoveryother

kind of daunted if thats a word.


----------



## kivi

Excited. I'm traveling to another city tonight.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Depression and anxiety have been ever present for over a decade now but I am so low right now it's unreal


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable, tired and annoyed.


----------



## Overdrive

good i guess


----------



## Nunuc

Like "What the **** did I just do!!!???"


----------



## AllTheSame

Awesome. I'm at BBVA Compass Stadium getting ready for Houston Dynamo vs Portland Timbers. Here with my kids and their cousins. We have eighth row seats. Pretty amazing.


~sent from my GalaxyS4


----------



## Schmetterling

I don't really know, between overwhelmed, sad and upset.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I feel okay. Got about 7 1/2 hours of sleep and feel somewhat tired, but I'm not crushed by depression and self hate like I was yesterday. I think today will be a nice day.


----------



## The Library of Emma

Just...eh. A little sad, a little tired, a little mixed up, and a lot of pointlessness.


----------



## TianaD

Pretty good today


----------



## Smiddy

Drained


----------



## cosmicslop

Regretful. Ate too many honeycomb chocolates. Probably have diabetes now.


----------



## AllTheSame

Happy...laughing with but mostly at the five teenagers in the back seats of my dad's car, singing karaoke, and occasionally just screaming the lyrics to 21 Pilots on IHeart radio. Ffs. It's funny but not sure how much more I can take lol. 

~sent from my GalaxyS4


----------



## SvanThor

I'm going to be honest, not so great. Pretty stressed out with school.


----------



## thomasjune

Relaxed. Not going to think about tomorrow and just enjoy the day.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Barakiel

It's like I always feel fatigued no matter how much or how little sleep I get. I've been meaning to reply to some people but I just cba to do anything :/


----------



## Cashel

Barakiel said:


> It's like I always feel fatigued no matter how much or how little sleep I get. I've been meaning to reply to some people but I just cba to do anything :/


I feel pretty much the same.


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling awesome. I've been sleeping better, finally, after months of struggling to get even four or five hours some nights...the script my doc gave me helps a lot. I'm out of town for work right now, but I'm by myself (Yay!) and completely on my own....is up to me to decide on the pace, and what I do when. I only have one reset to do so I should finish up tomorrow morning or afternoon. Also it's taken a while but I finally got trained, and got all my expenses (mileage and meals) turned in for the last few months. Unless anything gets kicked back I think I have about $1,200 coming.


----------



## AussiePea

Well I travelled all the way to Belgium only to have the car retire on lap 1 so not very happy! Needless to say, some big things lined up for 2017,and it just so happens to bring me to America.


----------



## Crisigv

AllTheSame said:


> Feeling awesome. I've been sleeping better, finally, after months of struggling to get even four or five hours some nights...the script my doc gave me helps a lot. I'm out of town for work right now, but I'm by myself (Yay!) and completely on my own....is up to me to decide on the pace, and what I do when. I only have one reset to do so I should finish up tomorrow morning or afternoon. Also it's taken a while but I finally got trained, and got all my expenses (mileage and meals) turned in for the last few months. Unless anything gets kicked back I think I have about $1,200 coming.


I'm curious what you do. Do you work for a specific store company? Or do you work for a company that has product in a store? Just going by what you say, like doing resets. If you don't mind me asking, of course.


----------



## kivi

I feel lonely, I'm alone in my new room right now. My roommate seems cool, she's older and studies American literature (but she seems messier than me so I'm not sure yet). I'm happy I have good wifi and enough sockets. Also, it seems like I'll have a good snowy forest scenery from my window this year. (Still, I'm not familiar with the weather so I'm nervous.)


----------



## zonebox

All of my shorts are in the dryer, and I am wearing my wife's jeans.. 


That's how I am feeling.

Otherwise, allergies have rendered my nose a mess. I am feeling okay besides that though, another hour till I can slip into my own shorts.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Insecure.


----------



## noydb

Why must I always want what I can't have? Stupid, unreliable feelings. Stupid, unreliable brain. :cry
why why why why why why why why why why why why


----------



## Crisigv

down


----------



## AllTheSame

@*Crisigv* I'm in outside sales for a brokerage company. I'm the middleman between the buyer and seller. The companies that make the products don't have the time or resources for marketing and sales. They just want to make the product. So they "hire" our company to do that for them. Resets are just part of what I do. My job most of the time is to get the product seen, or seen more. I'm the only one on my sales team that does resets or goes out of town. It's more responsibility (but not much more pay). But I'm hoping I can turn it into something. I'm hoping I can get my boss' job when he retires, which is probably only a few years away.

I'm sorry you're feeling down....hope you feel better. You know if you need someone to talk to or vent to, I'm here.


----------



## catcharay

Autopilot. Clean this, do that, run errands, look for job, find self-esteem, exercise. Delay thoughts and process things later. I'm so scared to be alone with my thoughts, especially with no sleep last night.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

I'm happy about managing to meet the slightly higher raised target of last week and hopefully be able to continue.

I'm not happy about the fact that sh#t weather of the winter Is not long away. this country has such a shi**y shi**y climate. people who .live in some parts of the US have no idea how lucky they are its warm all year round and how crap it is to. live in this drab grey dump of a country. lol


----------



## cosmicslop

It's hot as hell today and it's pissing me off. I just want to take a nap.


----------



## nicetyy

i want to die!!! My ankle is hurting on the right foot and my bunion is hurting on the left, plus my neck is hurting. I have been trying to get into counseling but everyone I call is either booked for months or waiting lists, or dont take my insurance. I have no friends.


----------



## xxDark Horse

Like garbage 

New college, moving to dorms for first time, trying to make friends, trying to talk to girls, trying to not fail my classes.

It seems like nobody likes me, girls certainly don't like me. 

But at least i'm trying.


----------



## Crisigv

AllTheSame said:


> @*Crisigv* I'm in outside sales for a brokerage company. I'm the middleman between the buyer and seller. The companies that make the products don't have the time or resources for marketing and sales. They just want to make the product. So they "hire" our company to do that for them. Resets are just part of what I do. My job most of the time is to get the product seen, or seen more. I'm the only one on my sales team that does resets or goes out of town. It's more responsibility (but not much more pay). But I'm hoping I can turn it into something. I'm hoping I can get my boss' job when he retires, which is probably only a few years away.
> 
> I'm sorry you're feeling down....hope you feel better. You know if you need someone to talk to or vent to, I'm here.


Oh okay, I think I get it. Kind of what I was thinking anyways. Thanks for explaining. I think if you have already made a good impression on your boss, you have a good shot at the position. Doesn't always matter how long you've been there.


----------



## Nunuc

noydb said:


> Why must I always want what I can't have? Stupid, unreliable feelings. Stupid, unreliable brain. :cry
> why why why why why why why why why why why why


:hug

Though I feel the same way atm. Sucks...might as well go back to bed and just sleep the whole day :rain


----------



## uziq

confused. don't know whether I'm wasting my time or not. nobody does. only I can figure this one out, which is unfortunate. 

life, I guess.


----------



## PineconeMachine

Lonely & restless.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i feel really lonely and it's upsetting

i have friends (all online, sadly) but i don't really feel any sense of a true connection to anybody

no one i'd be terribly interested in chilling with at the park during the night, gazing at the stars while discussing emotions

no one i'm compulsively interested in really getting to know

dk what i'm exactly expecting but it's the kind of thing that i know when i see it.

how come i'm not dead yet lol


----------



## Crisigv

A little anxious. I'm always anxious though when I have appointments for my car. Even though I'm alone in the waiting room, lol.


----------



## noydb

Nunuc said:


> Sucks...might as well go back to bed and just sleep the whole day :rain


Ha! That's pretty much how I cope with all my problems. Working really well for me at the moment. :rain


----------



## Abhorsen

One part of me is very pissed off, angry and sad at the same time because my "friend" called me boring and "non-energetic". The other part is motivated to make **** happen and prove him wrong.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, feel like garbage. One person is ignoring me and another says they don't want to talk to me anymore. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't know anymore.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

Wish you the best with your appointment. 

@Crisigv

Probably giving you space, as sometimes you act that you want that and people pick up on the hints, so respect your wishes.


----------



## tea111red

Crisigv said:


> Sad, feel like garbage. One person is ignoring me and another says they don't want to talk to me anymore. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't know anymore.


it sucks being ignored.


----------



## Crisigv

nopersonoperating said:


> it sucks being ignored.


yes it does


----------



## springbreeze1

Being alone and socially anxious. If that makes sense.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed, anxious, lonely, and hopeless.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SamanthaStrange

 :hug


----------



## Mur

Satisfied


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Miserable and cold


----------



## tea111red

bored.


----------



## Flora20

Lonely and sad


----------



## kivi

Good but tired. I walked around with my new friends and climbed some really long stairs. I also saw a cute alone guy in cafeteria (he seemed quiet, like me).


----------



## Kevin001

Frustrated. I woke up with a scratchy throat....ugh. Just when I thought I was doing better.


----------



## SplendidBob

Miserable.

1. Seasonal depression is evidently starting to kick in. Got my lightbox blaring in an attempt to compensate but it never seems to help much
2. Stomach is still giving me problems
3. Neck is still preventing me from sitting in chairs normally
4. Failed last night and had an epic binge (4200 calories)
5. No coffee due to stomach, further worsening mood
6. All on top of my standard set of worries and mental problems.

But hey, at least I am thinner than last year (which has made no difference in my life other than perhaps made my health worse).

Good times.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ugh.


----------



## Mur

Exhausted


----------



## Carolyne

There was a song I listened to a few years ago, and I couldn't remember it but wanted to hear it again. I managed to find it, despite knowing nothing other than that the title contains "night" and the band is English. Happy.


----------



## tea111red

Carolyne said:


> There was a song I listened to a few years ago, and I couldn't remember it but wanted to hear it again. I managed to find it, despite knowing nothing other than that the title contains "night" and the band is English. Happy.


what is the song?


----------



## Carolyne

nopersonoperating said:


> what is the song?


Nightcall by London Grammar


----------



## Crisigv

Upset


----------



## harrison

Lonely - and a bit sad. People leave and don't even bother to say goodbye - they have no manners.


----------



## AFoundLady

Hungry, happy, sad, perplex and I wanna dye my hair red :/ Like magenta red.


----------



## Overdrive




----------



## kivi

Today, I feel emotionless and random. I forgot to take my pills for two days and finally took today. I don't know it's because of that but I felt like I was in a dream all day.


----------



## Memories of Silence

I feel like my clocks are on the wrong time and that I want to change them. It's usually 3:23 AM, not 4:23 AM.


----------



## Carolyne

Lost


----------



## CWe

Down. My mood was good when I woke up and now it's going downwards


----------



## KILOBRAVO

don said:


> Lonely - and a bit sad. *People leave and don't even bother to say goodbye - they have no manners.*


if you're talking about people you meet online, i know what you are meaning. and you have no idea why they do that. You have to remember that its probably not about you - its about the problems they have with themselves, and they regard you [probably not intentionally] as not very important.

It might feel like rudeness to *US* if we're the more emotionally stable ones, but to those who are really..... derealized/depersonalized/suffering/disconnected, its never about anyone else - its always going to be about themselves.


----------



## bad baby

Tired, can barely keep my eyes open, legs are covered in mosquito bites, feet are sore and blistered. Also my hair feels kinda itchy and kinda fine, idk, think I showered too late today (because I was lazy) and there was no hot wateer and I haphazardly slapped some shampoo on my head and rinsed it off with the freezing water. So yea I stepped out of the shower feeling unclean, but I didn't want to wait until next morning because I wanted to start packing. Slightly anxious about tomorrow, but confident. I just want to lay down and sleep, but you know that feeling you get when you feel vaguely unsettled about something you can't quite put your finger on, but it's there in the back of your mind and keeps you from sleeping. Yea that.


----------



## MikeTeck

I've been dealing with stomach sickness for over a month now. It's very irritating not be able to just get better. Other than that I'm happy. Love this time of year.


----------



## harrison

KILOBRAVO said:


> if you're talking about people you meet online, i know what you are meaning. and you have no idea why they do that. You have to remember that its probably not about you - its about the problems they have with themselves, and they regard you [probably not intentionally] as not very important.
> 
> It might feel like rudeness to *US* if we're the more emotionally stable ones, but to those who are really..... derealized/depersonalized/suffering/disconnected, its never about anyone else - its always going to be about themselves.


No I was talking about people in real life too, although it's happened to me a bit online as well. I've been staying in a sort of private hotel for the last six months - which has been quite difficult. All the constant hyper-awareness of who's around me all the time has been so stressful. Who's in the kitchen etc - you have to sort of prepare yourself just to go and get a bloody cup of tea.

But then people go that you've managed to talk to a bit and build up a sort of rapport with - it's happened twice now. They don't even bother to say they're leaving soon or say it was nice knowing you. I know most people - unlike myself, have busy lives, but it doesn't take long to at least be polite.

As far as online goes - yes I agree with you, it's often more because they have problems of their own. Not always of course.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired.....work got me drained.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Feeling sorry for all the people who love me or have loved me. When I'm not wanting to jump off a cliff, I get some clarity and realize how dumb I've been with my words and actions towards those people who just want to help. I should probably stop forming any kind of relationships until I'm not so sick mentally.

But I'm so lonely.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel empty


----------



## Canadian Brotha

In flux


----------



## tea111red

:cry :lol


----------



## Crisigv

just awful


----------



## tea111red

zzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzz.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Alone.


----------



## Carolyne

SamanthaStrange said:


> Alone.


I like your avatar.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Carolyne said:


> I like your avatar.


Thanks.


----------



## cosmicslop

Feel like I wanna go on PCH and listen to Neil Young until I reach San Diego. The brooding I've been doing today isn't meant to be done on a chair in a room. I can only see my thoughts being solaced with a long, long drive.


----------



## kivi

Tired. Everyday I meet someone new. I try to be as social as I can be and I think I was good at hiding my social anxiety today while we introduced ourselves but I'm exhausted. 
Also I have to go to the city center to buy some important things soon and I've never gone here by myself so I'm a bit nervous.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely and tired.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Soul destroyed


----------



## Trooper

Tired, lonely, and I have mild flu too.


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good, cautiously optimistic. I don't want to be bold enough to say I'm feeling good, and that things are going well, because I feel like it could all come crashing down any second, ffs. I talked to my crush today. Quite a bit actually, through texts. She is just...pure awesomeness. She is a goddess.

I went to my boss' house to talk about the vendors we're going to have coming up in a couple of months. The VPs of two of our biggest clients is going to be touring my stores. I **** you not. I'm going to be working stores....about two hours ahead of them on their route. Making sure everything is. absolutely. ******. perfect. Dear God this has got to go well, it has got to be perfect. It's really a stupid exercise in futility....the whole reason they're doing the tour is so that they can justify their expenses for their new fiscal year....once they tour the stores, and everything is OK, they spend like there is no ****** tomorrow. They go on golf tournaments, they go insane. So. I just need to not *** this up and I'll be golden.


----------



## Crisigv

meh


----------



## AllTheSame

Crisigv said:


> meh


You need to elaborate. Talk. Describe. How. You. Feel. lol.....


----------



## Crisigv

AllTheSame said:


> You need to elaborate. Talk. Describe. How. You. Feel. lol.....


I'm sure people are sick of me complaining. Unless they have me on ignore now, lol. Maybe that's why it feels so lonely here.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I'm sure people are sick of me complaining. Unless they have me on ignore now, lol. Maybe that's why it feels so lonely here.


Nope. I do worry about you.


----------



## AllTheSame

Crisigv said:


> I'm sure people are sick of me complaining. Unless they have me on ignore now, lol. Maybe that's why it feels so lonely here.


Nope. Talk. Whatsup? Don't be a lurker. Talk. Ffs the title of the thread is "how are you feeling" and you say "Meh"??? lol. No one is tired of hearing how you feel in a thread titled "How are you feeling".


----------



## AllTheSame

I'm here if you want someone to listen. Someone to talk to. Or vent to.


----------



## Crisigv

ANX1 said:


> Nope. I do worry about you.


I know, and I appreciate it.



AllTheSame said:


> Nope. Talk. Whatsup? Don't be a lurker. Talk. Ffs the title of the thread is "how are you feeling" and you say "Meh"??? lol. No one is tired of hearing how you feel in a thread titled "How are you feeling".


It's okay, it's not important. My problems are pretty petty compared to others.


----------



## bewareofyou

Anxious for no reason and I can't catch my breath


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I know, and I appreciate it.




Thank you for your kind words. :hug



Crisigv said:


> It's okay, it's not important. My problems are pretty petty compared to others.


It's important if it affects your mental health, well being. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

bewareofyou said:


> Anxious for no reason and I can't catch my breath


Breathe in and out fully for at least 5 minutes. When anxious we tend to short breathe.


----------



## kivi

I am so tired . I have many things to do and I have very busy lesson schedule tomorrow (today was busy, too). I'll have to spend this night on the library.


----------



## SvanThor

Much better. I am currently recovering from an upper respiratory infection.


----------



## The Library of Emma

@The Condition of Keegan

Since when does something have to be new to be horrible? sorry to hear you're feeling like this.

As far as myself...I feel peaceful. still empty and numb, but not in such a bad way.


----------



## The Library of Emma

@The Condition of Keegan



i think you could use another one of these. here you go :squeeze


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good but a little confused I guess. My anxiety has been pretty manageable today. I had a good talk with a store manager. Ironically enough, I was doing a special project in a store that my crush at work does regular sales calls on. And it was a mess. And the store manager had nothing good to say about her. He's the second manager I've talked to who says she's just....nonexistent. They never see her, haven't seen her in months. *sigh* I don't know what she's doing during the day Monday through Friday but she's not visiting stores. Idk what's up with that. She's really going to *** herself if she's not careful. My boss has said he's getting tired of her not taking care of things, and even said he's thinking about replacing her. Ffs. And he teases me about her being my "girlfriend" (though he knows she's really not). He knows we flirt with each other though. She's been having car problems...she's told me about that, but she's getting it worked out. I can't figure out how she's doing sales calls though, without going into the stores. You have to answer question on a tablet, and take pictures as well. She must be taking shortcuts but she's gonna get caught doing that for sure. Big brother occasionally watches our locations through the GPS in our tablets, to make sure we're where we say we are. God I hope she's not that supid, to try to cheat.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm probably going to be meh for a while.


----------



## tea111red

bored.


----------



## Protozoan

*ssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh*


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i'm lowkey wondering if i'm still alive bc i feel like a damn zombie that's been doped up on caffeine. i am to drag my animated corpse to the exam room in about 50 minutes to undertake a practice psych exam for 2 hours and 45 minutes. literally half an hour after finishing that one, i have a biology one scheduled, which goes for 2 hours and 30 minutes

i  can't  handle  this


----------



## Overdrive

Like i'm compressed by a 10:1 ratio limiter, nothing pass above.


----------



## Dreaming1111

Was doing better yesterday but today I feel like a real downer. Why can't I stay better? I think I just need a really good cry or something. Don't want to think about having to go on meds because they are so iffy. :cry


----------



## tehuti88

Very worried about my dad. :crying:


----------



## kivi

Good. Today's lessons were entertaining.


----------



## Crisigv

tehuti88 said:


> Very worried about my dad. :crying:


:hug


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good but kind of...fed up at the same time, and ready for this to be over with. I'm doing a special project for my boss that's turning out to be...somewhat challenging, ffs. There is no way I can possibly do everything that has to be done with this. There's not enough time (and we have about 6 weeks). Ffs. I'm doing the best I can though. I'm making a lot of progress. Sometimes I really wish he wouldn't send me to other people's stores, to clean up their messes. It's obvious as hell sometimes that someone's been cleaning up after them lol. The girl I flirt with at work (the princess warrior) knew, somehow, that I was in her store a few days ago. She was fine with it...she told me to make her look good lol.


----------



## Dreaming1111

Good one day and sad the next but today once again I feel better. :yay
Now if I can just make the good days out number the bad I'll be making real progress. :cup


----------



## Trooper

I'm actually feeling really good today, one of the best I've had in a long time (if ever).
The journey to therapy on the train and the walk through the streets on the way there and back,
were actually reasonably pleasant, and felt quite comfortable being part of the crowd while on 
the train. Glanced around, looked out of the window and even made brief eye contact occasionally 
too. One of my most normal days yet. I like this. I hope it keeps up. Fingers crossed.


----------



## MamaDoe

Lonely, bored and unmotivated


----------



## MusicDays8

Right now I am feeling irritated. I wish I felt better but I don't know what to do to make myself feel better.


----------



## Mur

Amused


----------



## thomasjune

I feel pretty good today. I'm going to hang out with someone who I haven't seen for a while this weekend and I'm looking forward to it. Not gonna let my anxiety stop me from living my life.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## AllTheSame

I'm feeling good about work, I got some positive feedback today. Feeling good about seeing my kids next weekend. Feeling good about my crush from work coming out of nowhere with the pics she sent me, ffs. Asking me which one was the best. Omg. I'm not gonna get with her (I don't think) but oooooooh my God the girl is fine. I would just be executed on the spot if I had sex with a someone on my sales team.


*hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


* thinks about it.............................................................


*sigh


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely


----------



## inthemail

Sleepy


----------



## Kevin001

Sad and in disbelief.


----------



## funnynihilist

Dark cloud


----------



## AllTheSame

Absolutely awesome, on top of the world. But anxious at the same time. Still in disbelief that my flirt from work asked me out. Still in disbelief that she's blowing up my phone.

She's....the opposite of me, totally. And every woman I've ever been with is. She's a bold, self-confident, very vocal, capable, self-sufficient, independent, opinionated, strong, grown woman. Her reaction to me telling her she's beautiful once was "I know". Lmao, I'm serious. Her attitude sometimes is "you're goddamned right I'm beautiful" lmao. And she is. She is.

I cannot wait to spend some time with her Friday, one on one. And, yeah, I'm also anxious about it, but not as much as I thought I'd be. I know her. She knows me.


----------



## Bad Wahsabi

Nothing like Canadian Thanksgiving long weekend to help me realize how lonely and depressed I am *sigh*


----------



## Arianeee

I feel very empty.


----------



## ironjellyfish

Arianeee said:


> I feel very empty.


Same. An empty vessel.


----------



## springbreeze1

Very awake at 3:30 am.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i'm in the mood to lie down until i disintegrate


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I feel like I'm just here. Not really any particular mood. Maybe almost numb. Just for now. I was pretty grumpy yesterday and the day before.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling really down for some reason. It's going to take a lot of energy to fake being normal later on.


----------



## ZombieIcecream

I feel like I just want attend more events this month..

I also want to pass this test...

That's all I care for at this present time.


----------



## 812161

Pretty hopeless, really...feeling alone...feeling like all I do is bumble through life...just pointless, really.


----------



## Timeylordy

I feel lonely and extremely bored but it could be worse! Thanks for the hug, got me smiling!


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling pretty good. I don't want to go to the store but I need to. ***. I'm texting my crush and talking to her always puts me in a really good mood. She's awesomeness. And she's the crush I should have been talking to this whole time. I don't know why I even started talking to anyone else. Because I'm a guy. And I'm stupid. Uggggh, ffs. She is true awesomeness though, I feel blessed to even have her as a friend.


----------



## The Library of Emma

really crappy

and...oh yes. impatient. So don't stand in front of me in line or anything, okay?

:sigh


----------



## soulstorm

I'm feeling exhausted after having a hectic day at work. I also have skipped too many gym sessions in the last few months and feel guilty about that.


----------



## springbreeze1

Feeling hurt.

From my 13 mile run which injured my joints


----------



## ShatteredGlass

thoroughly unimpressed


----------



## ironjellyfish

It's hard to put my finger on it. A lot of things at once, but none of them are particularly positive.


----------



## Taaylah

too sentimental for my own good


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

horrible. This flu has me feeling like death and I had things I wanted to get done. :/


----------



## Kevin001

I'm ok, just hope work doesn't stress me out later.


----------



## Mrs Robot

Sleepy, need to lie down for a bit.


----------



## rdrr

food poisoning


----------



## In The Shade

Depressed


----------



## Crisigv

lonely


----------



## noydb

So nervous.


----------



## zonebox

I don't want to go to work tomorrow.


----------



## Taaylah

Alone.


----------



## bluecrime

Worse then ever in all honesty, and you probably wouldn't even realise if you saw me in real life. Hurt a lot by someone who meant a lot to me.


----------



## vela

Sad and crying.


----------



## Nunuc

I hate myself.


----------



## Zozulya

Confused.


----------



## AllTheSame

I'm feeling pretty good this morning. Work is...actually going pretty well. I think my boss probably wants to kick my *** right now for getting involved with her. Tbh. But. I also think he knows I trust him and I come to him with everything, and I'm honest with him, and I tell him EVERYTHING. He knows I'm on his side. He knows I've got his back. And I think he's got mine. Guys screw up sometimes. I shouldn't have even tried to mess around with her, I shouldn't have even approached this woman. It was a mistake, for sure. She is....something else. Omg. But....guys screw up sometimes, people make mistakes, people misjudge people sometimes. And....you know....sometimes it's more than that. Sometimes people are not what they seem to be. Sometimes people come across one way, and are completely, totally different once you begin to really get to know them. Ffs. I don't think you can always weed those people out, even if you are a pretty good judge of character.


----------



## noydb

Nunuc said:


> I hate myself.


:squeeze


----------



## Karsten

I'm shot.


----------



## Trooper

Dizzy.


----------



## Crisigv

Alright. I could be feeling a heck of a lot worse, like I was yesterday, and like I thought I would be feeling. So I'm good with that.


----------



## Mc Borg

A little faint. Not sure why.


----------



## anxious87

Tired, a little worried. Hoping I can regulate my breathing while speaking tomorrow


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely, restless, and grumpy.


----------



## anomnomnomaly

I feel like a useless potato. As usual. Like I am being dragged by the hair through time, before I have the chance to make my own decisions about my future. And of course, being always stuck in my own mind, it feels as if all of my thoughts, my values, and my feelings are lost to the entire universe. I don't know. The sentiment is especially poignant today.


----------



## The Library of Emma

i'm emptier than that soda can you finished but kept holding above your mouth for about five minutes waiting for a last drop to trickle out but it never did.


----------



## springbreeze1

I'm going to need a detox from this site.


----------



## AllTheSame

Sometimes....I literally feel like all I do is miss people. I'm dead serious. No....let's not use the word "dead"....ironic how that came out because, obviously the first person I think of is my gf that passed away. And I miss her daughters, especially her middle daughter, we really were close, like best friends for a while. But I also miss my kids. Terribly. That's...just not fair, it's not. I pay for half of their financial support, yet I only get to see them every other weekend. How is that fair? Who could possibly think that that's fair? And I miss my crush. I hate being alone. I really hate having anxiety. I hate, hate, hate it.


----------



## Crisigv

AllTheSame said:


> Sometimes....I literally feel like all I do is miss people. I'm dead serious. No....let's not use the word "dead"....ironic how that came out because, obviously the first person I think of is my gf that passed away. And I miss her daughters, especially her middle daughter, we really were close, like best friends for a while. But I also miss my kids. Terribly. That's...just not fair, it's not. I pay for half of their financial support, yet I only get to see them every other weekend. How is that fair? Who could possibly think that that's fair? And I miss my crush. I hate being alone. I really hate having anxiety. I hate, hate, hate it.


:hug


----------



## Trooper

Pretty ****ty now, why don't things ever last...


----------



## zonebox

AllTheSame said:


> Sometimes....I literally feel like all I do is miss people. I'm dead serious. No....let's not use the word "dead"....ironic how that came out because, obviously the first person I think of is my gf that passed away. And I miss her daughters, especially her middle daughter, we really were close, like best friends for a while. But I also miss my kids. Terribly. That's...just not fair, it's not. I pay for half of their financial support, yet I only get to see them every other weekend. How is that fair? Who could possibly think that that's fair? And I miss my crush. I hate being alone. I really hate having anxiety. I hate, hate, hate it.


That sounds rough man, I'm sorry you have that loneliness gnawing away at you.


----------



## AllTheSame

@*Chrisi* gv (((hugs))) back to you @*zonebox* thank you.

I just feel so Goddamned isolated, and alone. Even my crush lives a little ways away from here, it's not like I can just drop in on her or her on me, it's a bit of a drive. Every. Single. Person. I know around my age is married. With kids. Settled down. My sister has a very nice house in one of the suburbs of Houston, very nice, her kids are in all these activities. The friends I lost in my divorce are gone (yeah, my friends went to my ex in my divorce, their wives decided that, because....I was friends with my ex's friend's husbands, so that's how that works). It just sucks being my age especially I think and being single...everyone else is married and settled down....everyone lol.


----------



## caelle

I have standards I have set for myself and I have failed them; several times. I am ashamed and disgusted with myself. I deserve bad karma. I deserved the massive headache I got today. 

I'm not religious but I feel like I should pray to God for forgiveness. 

I need more self control.


----------



## springbreeze1

What happened?



nomi said:


> I have standards I have set for myself and I have failed them; several times. I am ashamed and disgusted with myself. I deserve bad karma. I deserved the massive headache I got today.
> 
> I'm not religious but I feel like I should pray to God for forgiveness.
> 
> I need more self control.


----------



## tea111red

anxious and kind of like i want to retreat.


----------



## Amphoteric

dirty


----------



## ironjellyfish

A little bit indifferent at the mo.


----------



## 806210

Tired... about to fall asleep in class


----------



## Marlena

A little bit tired... I am going to sleep now


----------



## Trooper

Have slowly got over my trigger from the other day, and feeling pretty good today.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Feeling quite fine atm


----------



## Crisigv

A bit down, and lonely.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely and bored.


----------



## funnynihilist

Deflated


----------



## kivi

Good. Though I accidentally cut my finger yesterday but I managed to buy vegetables from this closer place my roommate told me. I bought kitchen tools and different kinds of paper to make a few sketchbooks too (one sketchbook will have different kinds of paper in them). My roommate told me that the papers I chose were very good.


----------



## coeur_brise

Mmmm wavy potato chips/crisps. I feel like a bloated snake. But again, totally my fault. Hesitant for tomorrow. Caffeinated up past midnight. I feel a measure of satisfied hunger mixed with mild disgust. Such is Western life.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

holy ****ity **** i feel sick to my stomach. so livid. so enraged. so.... hateful. i hate everyone and everything around me. i'm choking on my tears and considering death, lol


----------



## herk

uncentered


----------



## noydb

Stupid : - )


----------



## Merkurial

A bit tired but very proud of myself because today I made so many things! :smile2: It was such a productive day! 0


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty good. heard from someone special yesterday. plus, the week's work was a bit slow, but i have managed to pick though enough stuff go finish week on target. now possible to push on a bit and exceed target.


----------



## Moxi

I was thinking today about how as I get older, feelings seem to get dulled. How much easier was it at 20, or 10, to get excited about seeing new people, making a new friend, Halloween candy being on sale, a new video game, seeing distant cousins, or just a nice day? If I was 15, I might have been looking at the past week completely differently.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good right now​


----------



## ShatteredGlass

it's time to party!! let's dance! let's bang! we don't need nothin' 'n we don't need nobody else! let's drink 'till we die!


----------



## MrSmall

Uneasy.


----------



## Visionary

All over the place, dad was in a bad accident 3 months ago, mom passed away 2 months ago, and now my cousin committed suicide oct.4th. 

Death isn't pleasant, it's mean, horrible, all around miserable. I have to drag myself to work, and keep myself focused in my studies.


----------



## Tibble

Numbness. 
I feel like nothing brings me joy anymore and I have no desire to do anything. I can't even cry if I wanted to. I look around me and feel like an alien to everyone else. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Trooper

Shaky, dizzy and a bit Blah!!!.


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Not very good.


----------



## Annamoly

Like I pulled my heart from my chest, wrung it dry, and shoved it back in again...


----------



## thomasjune

Very tired. I feel like I can sleep till Monday morning.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Sergio Santos

I feel like I'm drowning..


----------



## Azazello

Pretty damn awful. Was going to take my usual break from the site but the last couple of days have been a nightmare and I'm scared of being left to my own devices and thoughts. Trying not to self-medicate today as I could barely get myself going this morning. Instead, distracting myself with SAS. Not looking forward to bed time.


----------



## In The Shade

Worthless


----------



## 812161

Empty, despondent, lost.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed.


----------



## Fechlin

A mix between feeling hollow and jaded.


----------



## Crisigv

Meh


----------



## ShadowOne

Mildly dead inside but it's fine it's cool its alright


----------



## greentea33

Getting tired. Haven't been sleeping worth a crap.


----------



## PrincessV

I feel so vulnerable. I'm emotionally weak minded and that's not okay. I feel really sad. I'm not really confident, it's an act. I don't even know who I am. So don't be fooled by me. I want to hide and never come out. I literally feel so vulnerable, lol Idk why. Maybe it's because I'm being authentic? :/ Idk, I'm scared.


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & hungry at the moment


----------



## AllTheSame

Pensive. I'm very thankful that my daughter trusts me enough to come to me when there is a problem with her mom. I'm happy that she trusts me enough, and has believed me when I've told her, countless times, that I would do anything for her and she can come stay with me, anytime. Anytime. With no notice. Or to call me, day or night, 24/7. I'm somewhat relieved that she really believes she has another alternative besides her mom's house...she is thinking about moving in with me.

I'm trying to control the.....outrage and the anger I have towards my ex-wife, tbh. I mean...it's under control...but some of the things she's done in the last 48 hours have just left me absolutely in shock. I just don't want to go into it here but it was bad enough that my daughter is now considering moving out. She said so, with me there, in front of her mom today. Not in a fit of rage. In a conversation about what we're going to do next. And my daughter gave some very good reasons for wanting to leave her mom's house.

I can be ready for her to move in....in a matter of hours. There are just a few things I need to make the sleeper sofa I have ready....some blankets (I already have sheets) some groceries, a tv. Give her some money to go get makeup, female stuff, whatever else she needs.

I hope she decides to move in, soon, very soon. She doesn't need to be there.

My ex-wife is being defensive as *** right now towards me, very hostile, unless my daughter is with me. Hmmm. I wonder why. Could it be you're not there. Could it be you're abusive....


----------



## CallmeIshmael

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, Drunk. WWWOooooooooooooooooooo!!


----------



## WillYouStopDave

CallmeIshmael said:


> Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, Drunk. WWWOooooooooooooooooooo!!


 How ya doin' Ishmael?


----------



## harrison

Feeling a bit tired but better than I have been lately. Saw the family last night and drove my boy home. We all had pizza and spent some time with one of our dogs which has cancer and won't last long. It's always nice to drive my son home because I get to talk to him alone for a half hour or so.


----------



## Awkto Awktavious

This morning at work, I felt really good - upbeat, and happy, which was the first time in several years. Don't know why, or what I did differently, but I felt like my chronic depression was over, at least temporarily.

Now I feel like crap again. Its disappointing, how easily fooled I am thinking I can get better and stay better. I had a feeling it wouldn't last, but I thought it would be a few months, not a few hours.


----------



## Taaylah

Confused


----------



## tea111red

:sus


----------



## LookOutTheWindow

I think I'll honestly have to get help soon. It's been four years since I stopped talking meds and things have just spiraled and gotten worse each year. I'm failing school, have weeks where I barely sleep and weeks when I can't stop sleeping. Can't control my emotions or thoughts, hallucinating and feel disconnected. 

In short, things could be better.


----------



## humblelulu

Awful and hopeless


----------



## Trooper

humblelulu said:


> Awful and hopeless


Hey Humblelulu, I see you have internet again. Hope everything went well ?.

Sorry, wrong thread, and for being nosey. But anyway, welcome back.


----------



## humblelulu

Trooper said:


> Hey Humblelulu, I see you have internet again. Hope everything went well ?.
> 
> Sorry, wrong thread, and for being nosey. But anyway, welcome back.


Hey  I haven't got proper Internet back yet, just using mobile data here and there to use websites sometimes in the mean time XD.


----------



## raven818

Bored af


----------



## Zozulya

Extremely tired, all muscles are sore.


----------



## greentea33

I actually got 4 straight hours of sleep so I'm happy about that. Maybe I will see if I'm able to walk around the block today.


----------



## cosmicslop

Idk... just weird. Can't bring myself to care about my responsibilities for the past few weeks. I want a vacation away from my head. I might have been going through a depressive episode this month.

edit: pretty lonely too. And it's the kind of alienating loneliness that makes it impossible for you to feel like anyone can reach out to you. Feels bad, man. I'm lost in my own fog.


----------



## Dreaming1111

Feeling much better recently. Maybe the meditation is working :smile2:


----------



## strawberrys

Worried for my presentation tomorrow, otherwise decent.


----------



## humblelulu

Feel upset because my mum had a huge argument with me this morning over something she was actually in the wrong for. But instead of admiting to it and simply saying sorry to me decided to instead use money and various old unrated things against me in a very toxic manipulative manner. 

And I'm also really ill today, have felt sick since yesterday (was sick a bunch of times in the night). I need to be packing as I have to get on a super long coach and then a super long flight tomorrow to South Africa but I'm in bed feeling too sickly to start yet. Gah


----------



## kivi

Happy. I thought I had more work than I actually have to do and did my real works before so that I'll not be pinched for time. Now, I'm more relaxed.


----------



## Trooper

Feeling a bit ****y at the moment, but fairing a lot better after conflict than I used to.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed. Tired. Bored.


----------



## uziq

confused.


----------



## bewareofyou

So nostalgic.


----------



## sad1231234

Feeling kind of dull? Yet kind of upbeat. Its really weird.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Unnecessary.


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

After seeing tonight's debate? Frustrated.


----------



## 812161

Noobly


----------



## Trooper

****y again.


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good but a little anxious. Hoping my boss and I can do this reset and then get the *** back on the road. I don't want to stay the night in a hotel here. And neither does he. 

~sent from my GalaxyS4


----------



## 812161

My near daily realization that it's all just a pointless waste of existence.

Have a blessed day, lol.


----------



## coeur_brise

Lost. Wondering if this is really all there is to life? I know there are some good things. I just can't feel them. And I want to reach out, I'm just too lazy/human conditioned to not reach out. ..oh.. *Hugs to all*


----------



## DespairSenpai

Terrible.
I missed the deadline to submit my "intent to graduate" form at college, though I doubt it matters since I won't be getting hired anywhere regardless.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hopeless. Hopeless. Hopeless. Hopeless.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel like my last post isn't showing.


----------



## In The Shade

Hopeless


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad


----------



## labelme

have hope guys. there's so much life has to offer if we take a leap of faith.


----------



## sad1231234

Im feeling happy. Recently i've been feeling really upbeat and its strange. Maybe my life is just pretty laidback and stress-free recently or maybe im going crazy lol.


----------



## kivi

Cold and tired. I have so many things to do. I'm thinking about finishing this sketchbook thing today. Though, I think I'll do another sketchbooks some day with left papers to give them to my sisters as gifts when I see them.


----------



## 812161

Isolated...party of one...inconsequential.


----------



## Taaylah

I feel like no one will ever truly know me or understand me, because some part of me won't let them.


----------



## Trooper

Feeling pretty good after my little sleep and some brupper (breakfast and supper at 3am).


----------



## PrincessV

****ty.  I want to sink into the soil. I hate being around people who don't have anxiety. I just feel ****in inferior. Hahah. I don't want to try. I'm going to be feeling sorry for myself. It's not fair  why am i so socially awkward and insecure. Why can't i just be myself or whatever that is? I hate it so much. My life is nothing but THIS. Lol okay my dramatic *** is going to stop now.


----------



## springbreeze1

This.

And :hug



PrincessV said:


> ****ty.  I want to sink into the soil. I hate being around people who don't have anxiety. I just feel ****in inferior. Hahah. I don't want to try. I'm going to be feeling sorry for myself. It's not fair  why am i so socially awkward and insecure. Why can't i just be myself or whatever that is? I hate it so much. My life is nothing but THIS. Lol okay my dramatic *** is going to stop now.


----------



## 812161

Repetitively rejected...

Nothing compares,
Nothing compares,
to you...


----------



## Crisigv

Cold


----------



## llodell88

tired, i don't know how at this time of night. way too early for me.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

stupid haha


----------



## Taaylah

Awful. Physically and emotionally. I'm lying in bed trying to stop thinking but I can't. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight. I feel like **** already.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Miserable.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

SamanthaStrange said:


> Miserable.


I love your avatar, it's very beautiful.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

The Condition of Keegan said:


> I love your avatar, it's very beautiful.


Thank you.


----------



## catcharay

Really nervous. Wish it could be an easy breezy Sunday.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Not great


----------



## Don Aman

Callsign said:


> The lumps of life.


Sounds like a Blake Schwarzenbach cover band. I like Jets to Jaws as well.

Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.


----------



## raven818

Sad...thinking of my brother 😞


----------



## KILOBRAVO

pretty good  last week again was ahead of target so that was good. Hope that i can be ahead of target for the 5th week in a row.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

I feel very depressed, very sad, and I'm just hurt...pretty much missing someone...I don't think that person misses me back...:sigh...:cry


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, depressed, annoyed, misunderstood, lonely, and tired.


----------



## Kevin001

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious, depressed, annoyed, misunderstood, lonely, and tired.


:hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Kevin001 said:


> :hug


Thanks. :squeeze


----------



## anxious87

mentally cluttered mixed with confusion, uncertainty and wanting more time. where do i begin. perhaps ill waste the night away with a movie.


----------



## Mc Borg

I Feel It All - Feist


----------



## Trooper

Extremely exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally. What a day...


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Feeling very sad. Still missing someone, and I also wish I could say sorry to that person for how I was the other day  she probably wont even see this. Oh and I feel somewhat shaky. Imma just still apologize anyway.


----------



## FindingPeace

Depressed, anxious, and scared
Had to make an important decision today


----------



## Psychedilio

Not too good atm. I'm feeling really stressed out and the pressure is piling on.


----------



## Kevin001

Unsure but hopeful


----------



## Trooper

Tired. Physically, mentally and emotionally drained. But quite positive though.


----------



## In The Shade

Depressed, angry and frustrated.

Life is really s**t and it will not get any better. Sigh.


----------



## CWe

Terrible + sick


----------



## Trooper

Exhausted, I really need to sleep...


----------



## sad1231234

So pissed


----------



## thomasjune

Tired and stressed-out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Trooper

Tired, sore and aching all over. I have used muscles today that I didn't even know I had for the past three weeks. I guess that's what having time off does to you.


----------



## Don Aman

Callsign said:


> [/LEFT]
> 
> Thanks I'm feeling a bit better. Were you reminded of The Thorns of Life? I saw that he had also done that on Wikipedia.


Glad to hear it. Yes, it's a name that sticks in my head and occurs to me on totally random occasions for some reason. My mind got rolling a bit seeing something reminiscent.


----------



## AllTheSame

I'm feeling good. But also very worried about my kids, as usual. I'm very worried about their living situation right now. Very worried about them having no one to look after them, not on a consistent basis, no one that's reliable, anyway. I'm talking to my kids every day now, at least once a day. I'm hoping they'll call me if they need me. I'm not sure what more I can do right now. Not legally, anyway. I am worried though.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Sad, depressed, and pissed off


----------



## 812161

inconsequential


----------



## Zozulya

Still very tired, and dark thoughts are resurfacing.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

numb & dumb.


----------



## kivi

Bored but I have drawing related lessons tomorrow so :yay. I'll have to do it's work few minutes later, it seems fun to do for now.


----------



## Rollergirl6

lonely to the core of my heart..I started crying when I was driving back home because of the stinging feeling of loneliness in my heart.


----------



## thomasjune

Weekend is almost here so I feel pretty good right now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Trooper

Upbeat, if a little bored and lonely. Still feeling tired and sore though, oh, and lazy too, as I have not really done anything much all day.


----------



## Overdrive

Tired


----------



## May19

I didn't do so horribly on my midterms so I'm feeling pretty good. I was sure that I was gonna fail it. After the professor curved the exam, 24 out of 20. But this is just the first midterm. I have one more midterm for this class in 3 weeks. For my other class, I got 82 out of 100, which isn't the greatest, but I'll take it, considering that I was so sick that I didn't attend lectures for 3 weeks.


----------



## TryingMara

Tired.


----------



## AllTheSame

Happy it's almost Friday, looking forward to seeing my kids. I miss them. I'm looking forward to giving them some much-needed time away from their mom.


----------



## tea111red

too ugly. too ugly to go out in public.


----------



## Carolyne

Tired and restless.


----------



## wittyusernamehere

run down and introspective


----------



## Trooper

Tired and bored. Might try playing a game to see if it can relieve the boredom...


----------



## tea111red

don't know what's going on.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

abrasive and ready to explode in a fit of all consuming, unreasonable rage


----------



## noydb

Relieved. But not hopeful - no, no, no. Not falling into _that_ trap again!


----------



## ShatteredGlass

These mood swings really suck. :/ Not 20 minutes ago I was ridiculously angry and ready to explode. Now I'm bangin' and ready to party!!


----------



## kivi

So lonely. My roommate went to see her family like many students as it's holiday and it feels very isolated here.


----------



## Trooper

Bored, lonely, doubtful and feel so lazy. I need something to occupy my mind, but having hobbies has never been a strong point of mine.


----------



## kivi

I was feeling good but ~1 hour ago I started to get stomach cramps (I don't know why) . I have to draw something on huge papers and have to stand up to check its proportions constantly so I can't continue. I'm drinking some herbal tea, I hope it'll make me feel better.


----------



## 812161

That I wasn't meant to have lasting happiness.


----------



## ShySouth

Kind of nauseous. Have to talk to my neighbor about her dog barking anytime someone is outside. Which is a lot. I hate confrontations but the barking is driving me crazy. Also feeling like crying today. Don't know why.


----------



## TryingMara

Hungry.


----------



## 812161

Rather desperate...usually my mantras and life philosophy keep me satisfied with merely existing. However, it gets difficult to ignore a simple truth...if you're not really living, why not just be dead?


----------



## Trooper

Quite positive, if a little disheartened.


----------



## KelsKels

Day 3 on both sjw and 5htp. Feeling extremely calm. Maybe too calm.. a little lazy lol. No anxiety or any worries though so that's good. It's still so army but maybe these supplements will help. They probably can't hurt anyways.. at least can't be any worse than the awful ssris I've tried.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Very, very down and very sad. And unmotivated.


----------



## Trooper

Tired.


----------



## Kevin001

Pretty good, just so much going on in my life.


----------



## SunFlower2011

tired. dreading work...


----------



## cosmicslop

Sometimes I just feel disheartened by how many mental issues I have and how emotionally dysfunctional they've made me most of my life. I sometimes get overwhelmed with the responsibility of knowing what my problems are caused by my mental illnesses and how difficult fixing it has been and will continue to be.

And when I checked to see when Vet's Day would be so I can be glad there's no school and it's on the day where I have no classes. Why.


----------



## herk

pretty good lately


----------



## noydb

lazÿ


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

S***


----------



## rmb1990

Lonely + Down


----------



## Trooper

Pretty good, considering I went out today for an hour or so for the first time in 5 days.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm so lonely, and sad.


----------



## Maverick34

Tired & ****ty


----------



## tehuti88

Incredibly irritated. I was participating in a site event that involved gathering "seeds" to spend in a gift shop for prizes. I figured that like *EVERY SINGLE OTHER* such site I belong to that has such events, they'd give you a few days after the search ends to spend your seeds. I had over 20,000 of them gathered, and I wasted day after day gathering more which I thought I'd get to spend after the event's end. Lo and behold, midnight and November 1st hits, and BAM, the entire event is over. Can't even trade anything in for prizes.

Wow. Great setup you guys have here. :roll

Not only that, but I was actually doing good in one event. I was number one on the leaderboards and my success stats were 100% the entire time! I prided myself on that, I never do well at ANYTHING so this was something. Well, I clicked to do another round of that just a few minutes after the event had ended (without me knowing)...and instead of taking me to another round, it took me to a page saying the event was over. BUT, _it counted that as a failed effort_, and dropped my stats to below 100%! How the hell is that even fair or make any sense?? I couldn't have made the effort even if I'd wanted, but it still counts against me?? I reported this in the bugs forum but I doubt they'll give a crap.

Screw full participation in this event next year! What a piece of junk site. I don't like their useless prizes anyway except for the new event creature, and even it looks like the artist put no real effort into it. I'm pretty sure that's the site I caught the malware from that ruined my next-to-last computer, BTW. And everybody always goes around begging for trades and site currency, even if your profile clearly says you have nothing for trade. Dumb.


----------



## kivi

I feel like the ghost of the dorm (didn't sleep, finished my work).


----------



## SomeTosser

Living the dream! :yay














Really though... :rain


----------



## Trooper

Strangely dizzy. Not sure if that's good or bad. It just feels weird...


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely and restless.


----------



## SoundsOfSilence

Lonely...


----------



## cosmicslop

ShadowOne said:


> up and down
> 
> I see improvements i've made
> 
> but also cant help but feel helpless in other aspects. theres just certain areas i've tried to improve at and havent


That's similar to how I've been feeling for the whole of October, though it's mostly down.


----------



## The Library of Emma

had minor surgery yesterday and i'm doing really well, but i think the pain pills give me a headache and the antibiotics make my stomach queasy. XD


----------



## Crisigv

quite unsettled (physically speaking)


----------



## AllTheSame

Anxious about the holidays, but I can only do what I can do today, the rest will have to wait. Things are going alright so far. I really can't complain too much.


----------



## herk

think im getting sick


----------



## JaegerLover217

that i hate being born male at times


----------



## Skeletra

Depressed.
I feel like I have a lot to talk about, but nobody that would listen without misunderstanding or downplaying anything.
Just walk it off and cram all this into a teeny tiny bottle instead. I wish I could just not exist for a few days and return fully rested.


----------



## Kevin001

Skeletra said:


> Depressed.
> I feel like I have a lot to talk about, but nobody that would listen without misunderstanding or downplaying anything.
> Just walk it off and cram all this into a teeny tiny bottle instead. I wish I could just not exist for a few days and return fully rested.


:squeeze


----------



## Zozulya

I just hope an unfortunate event will occur, like a flowerpot falling on my head.


----------



## Pips

I'm feeling an empty void as of right now. I just wish there was a show or animation that can make me feel comfy, sad, or other emotions rather than this emptiness. And having a friend to watch Anime together would be great.


----------



## kivi

Tired and stressed. I don't have much work to do for tomorrow but I feel like I'm having the most physically tiring days of my life. I like the works I do but I still feel overwhelmed and distressed.


----------



## Farideh

Sick. I've been sneezing every single ****ing day and my coworker thinks it's allergies.


----------



## alwaysworthy

A bit alone..but still positive. I know I'll find someone who will love to have me around and keep each other company :yes I just hope they'll find me or I find them


----------



## Trooper

A little bit shaky after what I achieved today, but positive and quite proud of myself too.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely. Sad. Anxious. Sick. Tired. Moody.


----------



## slyfox

Dirty, sweaty, and exhausted. After I finish a few things I'll take a shower


----------



## Crisigv

Crazy and miserable


----------



## HenDoggy

I'm smell bad


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Very depressed, sad, worthless, unmotivated.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Frustrated.


----------



## Trooper

Ok really. Though maybe just a little, distant.


----------



## Crisigv

Stressed


----------



## Moxi

Surprisingly optimistic about a normally terrible idea


----------



## JaegerLover217

depressed, unmotivated


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Pretty lonely


----------



## Ckg2011

Frustrated, sad, depressed, angry, so sick of this election crap, two circus clowns who should be behind bars forever and ever in solitary confinement and never allowed to see the light of day. 

No mater who gets elected, don't come crying to me when it all goes wrong, okay America.


----------



## Crisigv

Not tired :bah


----------



## kivi

I'm very sleepy. I want to sleep now but if I sleep, it'll be hard for me to fall asleep at night.


----------



## Mur

Hungry


----------



## 812161

That another week of work is coming to an end and another weekend is coming where life will also be meaningless....joy.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

I feel sad, lonely, and depressed...


----------



## SomeTosser

Everyday is the same and it's getting old...


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, what else is new.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Drained. Emotional. Grumpy. Sad. Lonely.


----------



## AffinityWing

Disoriented

I took a nap so I feel even more tired now. My face feels really heavy and fatigued, like if I went to sleep again I think I'll feel almost zombie-like tomorrow.


----------



## 812161

That my life is a waste... i get no joy from living it...and that i'm going through the motions and are running out of the strength to do it.


----------



## kivi

A bit tired and nauseous. I also have stomach ache (because of stress I think). I have to finish my work.


----------



## Carolyne

AffinityWing said:


> Disoriented
> 
> *I took a nap so I feel even more tired now*. My face feels really heavy and fatigued, like if I went to sleep again I think I'll feel almost zombie-like tomorrow.


That always happens, naps never work for me.


----------



## Calix64

I am feeling great today, I know I will feel like crap in just a few days but everything is peachy right now. I went to another strip club yesterday and I kissed two hot women on the mouth.


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy, I have a bad headache.


----------



## Flora20

Depressed and sad


----------



## Xenagos

Stressed.


----------



## tehuti88

Bored and lonely. -_-


----------



## Kevin001

Tired but happy...its weird.


----------



## PrincessV

I'm so tired and bored! :l


----------



## f1ora

im kind of stressed 
and my head hurts from drinking milk


----------



## TheWelshOne

Both sad and happy. Currently catching up on Supernatural (I'm so behind) and I'm on the musical episode in S10. Haven't laughed so much in a long time. And yet I'm sad because I have nobody to share this **** with. Story of my life; where are my peeps?


----------



## kivi

Pensive, dull, tired. It wasn't a good day. I need to rest.


----------



## cosmicslop

I 👏 can't 👏 get 👏 myself 👏 to 👏 be 👏 motivated 👏 about 👏 anything. 

Please end this depressive episode already. It's been several weeks. I want to feel stable again.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad and lonely, as usual.


----------



## Crisigv

A little sad. Was looking forward to coming home, but now who cares.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Feeling more depressed than usual but I'm not sure why. I've been stressed over the same things for a long time but for some reason today, I just feel really heartbroken and I've been having flashbacks to those homeless days. I hate that this is going to be another holiday season I can't enjoy because I don't have a family to go home to. A few days ago, I was at Ikea looking through their inspiration rooms for fun, and I nearly cried at the sight of a dining room with some Christmas decorations. It looked so warm and welcoming, something I'll never experience from my family.


----------



## AllTheSame

I'm feeling tired, but otherwise good. I'm grateful that I have the relationships I have with my kids. They talk to me. It has not always been easy, ffs, most def not, but they all trust me and they talk to me. I'm grateful I have the job I have. It's a huge, huge step up from my last job. I feel blessed that I have my dad, who is looking out for me. I'm grateful for the friends I've made at my new job (even though my crush at my new job most def did not work out lmao). I already have vacation time. I have sick days. My boss is willing to give me whatever time off I want / need within reason through the holidays, which could be up to two weeks in a row off. Things really are not so bad.


----------



## Taaylah

I don't have any feelings right now


----------



## butterskenny

A bit exhausted and drained from school, but otherwise I'm really glad the day is over and can't wait to lay down in my bed.


----------



## Crisigv

Pretty down, and I don't know how to fix it.


----------



## AffinityWing

Slightly irritated

I leave the toaster only to go to the bathroom and my brother instantly comes yelling all the way upstairs to yell at me for leaving it on. Nothing's going to happen if I just leave it for a few minutes... you fussy douchebag. smh Now I don't want to make myself dinner because he's around and will probably keep being a condescending prick.


----------



## anxious87

Confused and worried, but still hopeful


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Is this real life?


----------



## komorikun

A bit nauseous.


----------



## Crisigv

It seems I'm just not allowed to feel good.


----------



## noydb

Disgusted and depressed.


----------



## Ckg2011

Feeling like I am useless and stupid, I do not matter at all, my family hates me, the world hates me, the universe hates me, I am sorry that I suck.


----------



## TryingMara

I feel physically ill.


----------



## Ai

Genuinely terrified for my friends and family, ashamed of my country... I am on the verge of an actual panic attack.

And perhaps vomit.


----------



## tehuti88

Ai said:


> Genuinely terrified for my friends and family, ashamed of my country... I am on the verge of an actual panic attack.
> 
> And perhaps vomit.


Similar.

I'm feeling quite afraid and depressed.


----------



## Kevin001

Ai said:


> Genuinely terrified for my friends and family, ashamed of my country... I am on the verge of an actual panic attack.
> 
> And perhaps vomit.


Same :|.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mixed emotions. I am all over the place.


----------



## Zozulya

^Mixed feelings too.


----------



## zonebox

Really tired, I only had two hours of sleep last night. I couldn't fall asleep until they announced who was going to be president, then after that I stayed up to see how people were reacting to it. I'm fighting off sleep right now.

I had my birthday a couple of days ago  I'm 42 now, and for some reason I like that better than 40 or 41.. It is weird, I still don't feel like an adult, more so like a early twenty something year old, I think I am perhaps peter pan. Most people my age don't act like I do, they don't really think like I do. It throws them off when I have to talk to them.. When I was working the twenty year olds related to me a lot more than people older than me, and I to them. I guess I just have not let life beat me down. 


I kind of have a feeling of excitement, things are gonna change for me this year, I can feel it. More so than I have in a while.


----------



## tehuti88

zonebox said:


> I had my birthday a couple of days ago


Happy belated birthday. :squeeze


----------



## zonebox

tehuti88 said:


> Happy belated birthday. :squeeze


:bananaThanks Tehuti:banana


----------



## theExile

Pretty happy. I'm getting my first job soon, the Presidential election is over, so I don't have to hear constant political garbage about the primaries and election seasons for more than a year straight, and a new Star Wars movie is coming out in a month.


----------



## AllTheSame

Cautiously optimistic.


----------



## Kvento

Feeling pretty bad. I don't know how to people. Atleast I can start online..


----------



## Crisigv

Just a constant feeling of longing.


----------



## SplendidBob

Tired, irritable and miserable


----------



## michaelsadboy

Mostly I feel lonely and old. I just recently had a birthday and I turned 25. I hardly have any friends. I have no romantic interests. I attempted some dating websites with no luck. Everybody ignored me and that made me feel ugly. I'm failing algebra and I'm 5 assignments behind. I'm cope sleeping 11 hours a day. I haven't eat a good meal in 3 days. I'm not doing too good. This birthday hit me hard. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## noydb

michaelsadboy said:


> Mostly I feel lonely and old. I just recently had a birthday and I turned 25. I hardly have any friends. I have no romantic interests. I attempted some dating websites with no luck. Everybody ignored me and that made me feel ugly. I'm failing algebra and I'm 5 assignments behind. I'm cope sleeping 11 hours a day. I haven't eat a good meal in 3 days. I'm not doing too good. This birthday hit me hard.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Happy birthday! I also turned 25 this year (fairly recently) and can relate to how you feel. Still, I'm sure things can improve. :yes


----------



## Wicked96

In comparison to yesterday i am feeling extremely happy. Its almost as if i have a bipolar disorder /


----------



## Mur

Wonderful


----------



## 812161

Horrible...the world is full of hate. News and Social Media brings the hate to your doorstep. Sure, you can try and ignore it all, but it's just too difficult.

I hate existing...it's just not worth putting up with the toxicity.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad, so very sad.


----------



## Carolyne

Lost


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad. Unwanted. Alone. Hopeless.


----------



## Theresa Ann

Lonely


----------



## thomasjune

Hungry but too lazy to fix something to eat.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MichaelAL

Lonely and want to talk about anything. Just moved to Alabama and don't really know anyone here, don't really know how to go about meeting anybody. Want to make some friends on here.


----------



## f1ora

embarrassed lol


----------



## Mc Borg

I Feel It All - Feist


----------



## PrincessV

Like SH-T. So... one of my fishes is dead and his body is floating on the surface. Another fish is under him, looking at him... I'm not sure if that fish is paying his respect... but I'm pretty sure that fish was the one who attacked the dead fish. It's a sad day.  I'll be doing a funeral tomorrow  

The fish who is alive lost his tank roomie... I think OMG... HE JUST BIT HIS FINS OFF.

I'm freaking out. I have to get the dead fish out...  I'm so scared.


----------



## PrincessV

So lonely and sad. Wasting away like my poor fishy is.


----------



## TryingMara

Pathetic, ashamed, trapped.


----------



## butterskenny

I'm finally feeling like I'm getting on my feet quicker. I'm on a roller coaster on my own, but I can make it through this ride. I have to, or else I'm going to feel miserable the whole ride. Everything does hurt right now, but I can't focus on that. School is happening right now and staying in the past as a safe space isn't going to help me now. I feel like I'm out there, and not as spacey as I usually am. I'm happier.


----------



## 812161

Dead, dead, and dead. I'm trapped inside a living body.


----------



## Eveee

Feeling lost.


----------



## TryingMara

Hungry


----------



## SamanthaStrange

So alone.


----------



## Carolyne

SamanthaStrange said:


> So alone.


Feel free to talk to me anytime if you need.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Carolyne said:


> Feel free to talk to me anytime if you need.


Thank you, I appreciate the offer.


----------



## funnynihilist

Feeling buzzed but not enough


----------



## The Library of Emma

slightly numbed, disoriented. cold. sad.


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling pretty good. I signed up for insurance with the company I work for today. I have....an unbelievable amount of insurance, with pretty low copays, low deductibles, fairly low out of pocket. I have accident insurance....anything that happens at home, I have extra coverage for. I have full dental....to any dentist I want to go to. I have vision. I have an FSA with $500 in it....I'll have a card with $500 to spend on medical expenses, scripts, whatever....on January 1st.

For $120 a month, after I do preventative screenings and health checks.

Beat that, Obamacare. You can't. You cannot even come close to offering coverage like that. And even if you could, it would cost me two, three times as much.


----------



## Crisigv

sad
hopeless
worthless
unwanted
nothing
crazy
lost 
conflicted


----------



## TryingMara

Frustrated and angry.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Pissed off and stuck.


----------



## AllieG

I'm about to leave my 10 month volunteer program and go back home. Everyone around me is celebrating going home but I don't want to go home. I have to do adult things there and I actually really liked this program. Gah. So worried and a little upset is what I feel, you can say.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Feeling ****ing depressed right now. I think I'll go out and be depressed or something.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Disgusted and humiliated. My mom laughed at the resume I worked hard on. Laughed at it harder than ****ing Bradley Walsh laughed at the fanny chmelar question on that crappy quiz show on iTV. I was just there, enduring it, tears in eyes. I want to die. This is why I don't want any involvement with this family anymore. Belittled and laughed at like some piece of trash, time and time again.
I've lost every little bit of the already little morale I had for getting a job. I just want to lie in bed, cry into my pillow, and simulate death as best I can before it finally becomes a 'reality'.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like I'm about to start another day of misery. :yay


----------



## db09striker

Good. I just had a chocolate cheesecake. I am home alone, so very relaxed.

Though my main aim this morning was to start a healthy diet.....ended up going to the supermarket and buying junk food. I failed.

I want to make sure I have the sexiest body ever once next Summer comes around. Just need 1 month to work hard and get the results. Just so hard to motivate and stick to a diet and exercise plan.

Pissed off because I am single and really need to find a girl/woman as I'm 31. Hard to meet people.


----------



## Overdrive




----------



## TryingMara

Miserable


----------



## tea111red

i really need God in order to be able to tolerate living in this world (it is so horrible in so many ways) and a lot of the people in it. i would seriously be a much, much, much worse person if i never bothered to turn to God for help.

^this is such an understatement. man, is it ever....


----------



## PrincessV

nopersonoperating said:


> i really need God in order to be able to tolerate living in this world (it is so horrible in so many ways) and a lot of the people in it. i would seriously be a much, much, much worse person if i never bothered to turn to God for help.
> 
> ^this is such an understatement. man, is it ever....


Same


----------



## Equine24

Terrible. Never had friends or a family in my life, but I'm trying to find a place to stay while trying to keep mentally stable under constant loneliness, even at work. The feeling that people simply don't care anymore has gotten under my skin as well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## humblelulu

I feel awful, and uncomfortable in my own body. I want to be someone else.


----------



## tehuti88

Worried about my dad's health again. He's been yawning all day and is now lying down.


----------



## Ai

Slightly embarrassed and, to a degree, lonely. My birthday is next month. I haven't bothered to actually celebrate the past few years. I've been handling my depression and anxiety a little bit better recently, however, and so I thought, "well, what the hell?" I posted a status on Facebook, asking whether any of my friends would be interested. A few acquaintances who now live out of state "liked" it... which is kind of ambiguous. Only one person still in the area who I could feasibly expect to follow through answered, kind of vaguely. But I think I've since accidentally pissed her off...

Kind of feel like just deleting it and pretending it never happened.



ShatteredGlass said:


> Disgusted and humiliated. My mom laughed at the resume I worked hard on. Laughed at it harder than ****ing Bradley Walsh laughed at the fanny chmelar question on that crappy quiz show on iTV. I was just there, enduring it, tears in eyes. I want to die. This is why I don't want any involvement with this family anymore. Belittled and laughed at like some piece of trash, time and time again.
> I've lost every little bit of the already little morale I had for getting a job. I just want to lie in bed, cry into my pillow, and simulate death as best I can before it finally becomes a 'reality'.


That is not okay.  I'm sorry your family isn't supportive. That is a really dick move and you don't deserve that.

Do you have anyone else who could give you actual constructive criticism?


----------



## kivi

Bored. It feels like time passes very slowly today. I hope they'll free us after the criticism.


----------



## Kevin001

Refreshed.....good sleep for once.


----------



## akari

Certainly better but not quite there yet.. I should just take small steps without looking at the whole staircase I guess.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Ai said:


> Slightly embarrassed and, to a degree, lonely. My birthday is next month. I haven't bothered to actually celebrate the past few years. I've been handling my depression and anxiety a little bit better recently, however, and so I thought, "well, what the hell?" I posted a status on Facebook, asking whether any of my friends would be interested. A few acquaintances who now live out of state "liked" it... which is kind of ambiguous. Only one person still in the area who I could feasibly expect to follow through answered, kind of vaguely. But I think I've since accidentally pissed her off...
> 
> Kind of feel like just deleting it and pretending it never happened.
> 
> That is not okay.  I'm sorry your family isn't supportive. That is a really dick move and you don't deserve that.
> 
> Do you have anyone else who could give you actual constructive criticism?


As embarrassing as this is, I really overreacted to this. Mind you, I'm not trying to make excuses for the laughter - it was without a doubt inappropriate and upsetting - but I responded, at least here, in a very dramatic manner.

As an update to the situation, I updated the resume according to what my mother was laughing at and afterwards gave me advice regarding, and I sent it off in an application to a couple of retail places.

Unfortunately, my application for a vacant position at an Aldi store was rejected, but I could get something at the other stores I applied for - Coles and Kmart. If a vacancy arises... fingers crossed. I even included a cover letter for the Kmart application. On top of that, I've made a point that I'm a flexible high school graduate, so I might be more likely to get a position than, say, a high school kid.


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good. It's over. Thank the gods it's over lol. The tours at work went well, the audits went very well. Today I'm just doing my own sales routes, on my own, at my own pace, by myself. No pressure. I wasn't sure if I could survive all this tbh but it really hasn't been too bad, looking back. My boss helped me a lot, and we got through it. We didn't just get through it, we did really well...he's thanked me over and over again.


----------



## 812161

Soy perdedor


----------



## Zozulya

Awful headache all the day...


----------



## butterskenny

fml my mind won't make up its own mind about being happy, sad, or angry. 
i hate living like this since i never feel calm at all. i wish i wasnt so damn sensitive to things like this and just let it flow pass me and not overanalyze it constantly


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Annoyed and frustrated. Sad and lonely.


----------



## May19

I'm feeling better. I wanted to message someone yesterday on Skype, but I kind of held myself back. I don't know. A part of me really wants to rekindle the friendship and the connection we had, yet another part of me just wants to give it more time. I miss the person of course. I miss them a lot. But I can't help but think that we walk away from people for a reason and if we were to walk back into them, it has to be done more naturally instead of being done because you miss them. But then again, I could be wrong. I do miss them a lot. And I think I'm doing just fine without them. Although, I must admit that a part of me feels really empty. But I guess that's what happens when you give someone a huge chunk of you. Oh well, I don't regret it. I'm at least glad that I got to give to the person some of my love while we were talking


----------



## Equine24

I feel surreal. It won't matter what I say or do for the same outcome awaits. People have lost the meaning to live naturally. We depend on technology rather than others and have become much more selfish than ever.

I do not care anymore. I don't look at anyone anymore and if someone says "Hello" (being a rule in most places of work to say hello to customers; which is a fake hello) I simply ignore them with no signs of caring to hear what they say. I've given up completely.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Ai

Sad. My boyfriend was supposed to drive up tonight, but he texted me about a half an hour ago to inform me he was going to have to postpone until tomorrow morning. His reason is completely valid (he's thinks he's going to have to stay later at work than he had predicted and he didn't sleep well last night, so he doesn't feel it would be safe to make such a drive.) Makes absolute sense. And I deeply value his safety, of course. So I don't want him driving if he's not 100%. But we get such limited time together as it is, it still makes me a bit sad... and slightly fearful I'll wake up tomorrow morning to another text that he's not coming up at all. 

It's not a pattern or anything. But it has happened once before.



ShatteredGlass said:


> As embarrassing as this is, I really overreacted to this. Mind you, I'm not trying to make excuses for the laughter - it was without a doubt inappropriate and upsetting - but I responded, at least here, in a very dramatic manner.


Fair enough. Happens to the best of us... I'm glad you were eventually able to make the necessary alterations, though! Good luck on your job hunt!


----------



## Wanderlust26

I'm feeling nauseous and tired. Tonight is my last graveyard shift for the week and I can't wait. Too tired to even plan anything for my days off.


----------



## ThatQuietGirl02

Depressed and sad


----------



## cosmicslop

I've finally been feeling a bit better today. Had to see my psychiatrist last week to up the dosage to curb the depression that has been occurring. The chilly weather is finally here too. 

Also shocked about how little time left there is until the semester ends. 2 1/2 weeks before finals.


----------



## kivi

Tired and cold. I don't want to be outside of my bed. It just feels so warm and soft so I always feel like sleeping.


----------



## noydb

Nostalgic.


----------



## funnynihilist

I don't know how I feel yet, I just got up.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired/exhausted


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Very lonely


----------



## Wolfology

The Condition of Keegan said:


> Very lonely


As above, so below.


----------



## Ai

Happy. But also a little lonely.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I feel like crap. I woke up feeling like I slept too long. Then I felt OK for a while. Now just feel super tired and want to go back to bed.


----------



## AllTheSame

Excited. Taking my kids to the lake this weekend, with my parents. They have catch-and-release fishing, a heated pool and hot tubs, an outdoor movie screen, campfires, and they'll make smores (however you spell that) at night and roast marshmallows. Should be fun.


----------



## Dreaming1111

Not so good lately


----------



## Crisigv

A little dizzy


----------



## MrQuiet76

hating life


----------



## Skeletra

Scared, I'm all alone waiting for the bus. Or almost all alone. There is an old foreign* man that was singing something that sounded like a nursery rhyme and all of a sudden he started yelling.. Why is he so angry? I'm just intensely "texting" right now, paying no attention to this guy. Damit, nobody else going to take the bus today?

* notice, I'm not scared because he's foreign. I'm scared because this guy is an angry mountain, and I have no idea what he is saying.


----------



## sad1231234

Happy  im trying to not worry about all of my problems so much and it makes me feel much better


----------



## Kevin001

Skeletra said:


> Scared, I'm all alone waiting for the bus. Or almost all alone. There is an old foreign* man that was singing something that sounded like a nursery rhyme and all of a sudden he started yelling.. Why is he so angry? I'm just intensely "texting" right now, paying no attention to this guy. Damit, nobody else going to take the bus today?
> 
> * notice, I'm not scared because he's foreign. I'm scared because this guy is an angry mountain, and I have no idea what he is saying.


You ok now? I would be a little anxious/scared as well.


----------



## Skeletra

Kevin001 said:


> You ok now? I would be a little anxious/scared as well.


I'm ok now .
That guy was probably wearing an earpiece or something like that ^^.


----------



## lackofflife

i feel like aprisoner....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Ai

Sad. A best friend's ex-fiancee shot himself (it is unclear whether it was suicide or an accident) and she is devastated. I didn't really know him, just _of_ him, peripherally, through her--but I feel so terrible for her. It's a really tough situation.  I wish I were better at comforting people.


----------



## Taaylah

Alone. But my feelings have been dull for the past couple of days, so I hardly feel anything at all.


----------



## littleghost

miserable. for no reason at all. nothing bad happened, i just feel awful, really depressed and alone and like a failure. I'm hoping it's just a mood swing, and it will swing the other way soon.


----------



## Still Waters

I'm feeling pretty bad today. Most days I'll usually put up a fight -distraction,trying to remind myself of the positives in my life and appreciate them,trying not to think too far ahead,etc. Today,I've just given in -none of my usual approaches do much good anyway -it's similar to trying to hold back a tsunami with your bare hands.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good 

You know, things are changing in my life. I am like the elixir of change, it is who I am, it is what I do.

I am like the ultimate lubricant, I just do not get stuck in one place, I just keep moving on, and changing myself to accomodate my circumstances. I am privileged as all hell in this respect, and I do not feel shame in admitting this.

I am a survivor, and this will continue onwards. I accept change, and move forward along with it. I am not stagnated by the perception of holding on to the truth.


----------



## Dreaming1111

Actually I should say not so good because of my situation but I feel more positive today and that's worth posting.


----------



## Flora20

Really depressed lonely and sad


----------



## Kilgore Trout

hungry


----------



## Crisigv

It's miserable outside today, and it's making me miserable. I have no motivation.


----------



## AffinityWing

Tired
My Thanksgiving break just started and I'm supposed to be getting a project done and studying for SATs again but I also want to get...more relaxation in because this year has been stressful as all hell so far. Of course the only "relaxation" I know is completely slacking off and neglecting my duties, though. I've already started this morning with getting up for nothing except eating, so far. Wonderful.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Feeling sad that I have to go to work tonight. I don't want to do the graveyard shifts anymore but I have no idea what to apply for that would help me pay the bills.


----------



## Nekomata

Bored and hungry~


----------



## funnynihilist

Face another day of nothingness


----------



## zonebox

I turned off all of the air conditioners in my house today, I'm looking forward to a cheaper electric bill through the winter. It is so quiet in my house now, I'm loving it.


----------



## kivi

Nauseous. The kitchen was too crowded and I couldn't boil the potatoes enough to make mashed potatoes so I made a horrible dish (even some of them are raw).  I'm thinking about throwing it away.


----------



## slyfox

Sick to my stomach and I also have anxiety about tomorrow. Have to see my attorney tomorrow morning. Supposedly it is the last time I'll see him before my disability hearing. Not sure if he'll talk to me at the court before the hearing. Worry I won't ask the right things or will forget to bring something that I should. Doesn't help that he seems to rush our meetings. Worried I made a bad choice of attorney and am probably screwed, but had too much anxiety to turn him down as attorney when I first met him. Too late now anyway.


----------



## AllTheSame

Awesome 

I had a really fun, really good weekend with my kids and my parents. My son and I went fishing at the lake, and it took me a few minutes to get used to the open reel again but I got it after a few minutes. I was casting pretty far, actually much farther than the pole we had was designed to lol, my son was slightly impressed...we both need to upgrade equipment so new rods and reels are on both our Christmas lists lol. We got a lot of bites and a few fish. It was really awesome hanging out with him for a few hours and talking. I feel like we're a lot closer, we got some guy time together, just the two of us for a few hours (the girls fish sometimes but didn't want to this weekend).

We played beach volleyball, me and my son against my dad, and my two girls, and we won...barely. We played full court basketball (with a shortened court), same teams and me and my son won, but just barely lol. We soaked in the hot tub for a while and played in the heated pool. There was also this half trampoline / half moonwalk type thing....that I've never seen before...built into the ground in one of the rec areas. We had a lot of fun on that (yep even me). We played cards at night (Phase 10 and Skip-Bo, mostly). It was a lot of fun. I think we might make this a little annual fall mini-vacation.


----------



## Crisigv

Kinda sad, seeing how everyone is happily enjoying their weekend. And I'm miserable and stressed at work.


----------



## AllTheSame

Crisigv said:


> Kinda sad, seeing how everyone is happily enjoying their weekend. And I'm miserable and stressed at work.


I'm sorry (((hugs))) to you. I had a good weekend, Chrisigv and I felt like posting about it because I so often have completely, totally miserable ones. If you read any of my posts here you know that every other weekend is all I legally get with my kids (for reasons that me and some other non-custodial parents cannot ****** figure out, even though that's been the normal visitation given to them in most states during a divorce....for years, and years....even in cases where the ex cheated, like in mine). But anyway....my kids miss me. And I miss them. And I know your post wasn't directed at me, but...if it makes you feel any better, I don't have very many good weekends either...I mean if it's any consolation to you....I miss my kids on the weekends when I don't have them. I miss them a lot. Imagine wanting to have kids for your whole entire life, ever since you were a kid yourself, and then imagine getting to become a parent and then having them taken away from you. I live for my kids so when I don't have them I'm miserable and when I do get to have them and get a rare chance to post something positive on this site lmao, then I try to.

There are many times when I'm miserable and stressed at work also. I hope you feel better soon. Better weekends are ahead, don't give up hope. I mean, sometimes that's the only reason my feet even hit the floor in the morning, my kids of course, and the hope that there are better days ahead.....


----------



## Kevin001

I'm good. Got the game on, I'm all warm in my bed, and talking to my girl. Life is good.


----------



## Crisigv

AllTheSame said:


> I'm sorry (((hugs))) to you. I had a good weekend, Chrisigv and I felt like posting about it because I so often have completely, totally miserable ones. If you read any of my posts here you know that every other weekend is all I legally get with my kids (for reasons that me and some other non-custodial parents cannot ****** figure out, even though that's been the normal visitation given to them in most states during a divorce....for years, and years....even in cases where the ex cheated, like in mine). But anyway....my kids miss me. And I miss them. And I know your post wasn't directed at me, but...if it makes you feel any better, I don't have very many good weekends either...I mean if it's any consolation to you....I miss my kids on the weekends when I don't have them. I miss them a lot. Imagine wanting to have kids for your whole entire life, ever since you were a kid yourself, and then imagine getting to become a parent and then having them taken away from you. I live for my kids so when I don't have them I'm miserable and when I do get to have them and get a rare chance to post something positive on this site lmao, then I try to.
> 
> There are many times when I'm miserable and stressed at work also. I hope you feel better soon. Better weekends are ahead, don't give up hope. I mean, sometimes that's the only reason my feet even hit the floor in the morning, my kids of course, and the hope that there are better days ahead.....


My post wasn't in response to anyone here. I like when people here post about their good days. It was more seeing people on Facebook enjoying the beginning of the holidays. I'm sorry you don't get to see your children as often as you should, it's not fair.


----------



## CallmeIshmael

Dead and hating life. i have too much to do with too little time to do it. But you keep on keepin' on. This was actually one of my more social days, had some old friends visit me and we spent the day together. It was nice to see them but it helped me procrastinate. I think out of all the attributes I have, procrastination is the top one.

Why am I on here if I have so much to do???


----------



## AllTheSame

Crisigv said:


> My post wasn't in response to anyone here. I like when people here post about their good days. It was more seeing people on Facebook enjoying the beginning of the holidays. I'm sorry you don't get to see your children as often as you should, it's not fair.


I know. That's why I went out of my way to say that I know your post was not directed at me.

And it's why I said I hope you feel better soon, and tried to relate to how you feel in some ways, and tried to wish you better days ahead. That's all I meant


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Incredibly resentful and filled with hate. I could say that I'm in the mood to stab someone in the face, but the reality is that I'd crumble into a crying, shaking heap before getting 5 feet near to do it.

Nobody ever wants anything to do with me, save for, of course, spiting me.

I feel so gross and internally grotesque.


----------



## funnynihilist

Too much sunshine in this thread! My eyes! 
Feeling crusty as usual


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Not bad, now! At least, not emotionally. Have a bit of a headache atm, but I suspect that's due to the fact I haven't taken my zoloft yet today. I'm switching to a nightly dose because I'm sick of the sedative effect the "activating" stuff gives me.


----------



## tehuti88

Sore (back), and worried (physical tomorrow/later today). Do they give you the results while you're there waiting? I'd hate for this to be hanging over my head. Plus our cashier had a cold and that worries me too, because I catch colds easily, and if I have one, no surgery.

Also angry, because the ONE type of winter boot I've been able to find the past two years--with a zipper and gusset up the side to fit on my ugly fat legs--changed its design to get rid of the gusset, so now I'd basically be walking around in the snow unzipped with big gaping holes in the sides of my boots! Why remove the f***ing gusset when that was the point of the whole thing? I couldn't find any other boots to fit me, and all I have are sandals or these little slipperlike shoes, and the snow has already arrived. (It was like 65 degrees one day, then below freezing and blowing/snowing the next. Not exaggerating.) More worries about catching a cold.

Can't even find a pair of f***ing boots.  This is why I get anxiety attacks just shopping for clothes, it seems I have fewer and fewer options every day, I don't even care about looking good, I just want to be comfortable. Was it really _that much_ bother to leave in the stupid gusset? Where are the boots for disgusting fat people like me, are we just supposed to wander around barefoot in the cold? A damn gusset is all I ask for, I really didn't think it was _that_ unreasonable. The boots are big ugly black clunky things which only last one winter before falling apart, and even with the gusset I had to wear a size too big (and walk around awkwardly) just to fit them on my legs, it's not like I was asking for high fashion OR high quality. Only a gusset so they can fit on me and keep my feet/lower legs warm and dry.

I want this surgery *so much*, it's literally the only thing I have to look forward to anymore. :sigh


----------



## funnynihilist

Well this was another wasted day.


----------



## Zozulya

I want to smash my head against a wall...


----------



## kivi

I have cramps and I've been feeling very grumpy today. At least, I'll have to present my work two weeks later (next week we will visit an exhibition for this lesson).


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Very sad and very depressed, sitting in the dark.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm very sad, upset, lonely.


----------



## meganmila

Anxiety ridden and *****y. Blah. How I wish I can concentrate on one thing instead of trying to do a million things at once.


----------



## Rains

Quite happy. Hopefully nothing bad happens to **** it up.


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good. I feel like causing a little bit of trouble today though, which is never a good thing lmao. I want to run into the corporate office here where I work and scream 

"ANDY'S COMING"!!!!! But. Meh. Most of those old fuqers would just stare at me and say "Who's Andy"? 
*sigh*


----------



## LostinReverie

AllTheSame said:


> Feeling good. I feel like causing a little bit of trouble today though, which is never a good thing lmao. I want to run into the corporate office here where I work and scream
> 
> "ANDY'S COMING"!!!!! But. Meh. Most of those old fuqers would just stare at me and say "Who's Andy"?
> *sigh*


Who is Andy?


----------



## AllTheSame

LostinReverie said:


> Who is Andy?


My kids tell me it's the latest challenge. You have to have seen "Toy Story". All the toys in Toy Story drop to the ground, go completely limp, become frozen when Andy shows up (he's the little kid that owns all the toys). They don't want him to know they're alive, and "real". So the challenge is when someone screams "Andy's coming"! in a classroom or hallway or playground or wherever, you have to freeze, go limp and drop right where you are. Yep. It sounds stupid and it is. But it can also be really funny.


----------



## Crisigv

feeling sick


----------



## LostinReverie

AllTheSame said:


> My kids tell me it's the latest challenge. You have to have seen "Toy Story". All the toys in Toy Story drop to the ground, go completely limp, become frozen when Andy shows up (he's the little kid that owns all the toys). They don't want him to know they're alive, and "real". So the challenge is when someone screams "Andy's coming"! in a classroom or hallway or playground or wherever, you have to freeze, go limp and drop right where you are. Yep. It sounds stupid and it is. But it can also be really funny.


Haha. .. that's really funny. I would probably have known that if I had kids, but I don't. Loved all the Toy Story movies though


----------



## Dreaming1111

Discouraged. I'm so tired of trying and never making any progress.


----------



## twistix

Unwanted


----------



## riverbird

Completely broken.


----------



## TryingMara

Miserable.


----------



## Crisigv

bored, wishing I had friends


----------



## Ai

Little bit emotionally drained and kind of embarrassed for it.


----------



## BeHereNow

Kinda sad, kinda mad and kinda glad. A little guilt and shame too.


----------



## tea111red

day 4 of this. i think i've developed an arrhythmia or something.


----------



## Mc Borg

nopersonoperating said:


> day 4 of this. i think i've developed an arrhythmia or something.


What's wrong?


----------



## tehuti88

Depressed and lonely and worried about my teeth. :sigh

I hope they make it until after my surgery...though I have no clue how they plan to fix the ones in front, now, nor how they allowed them to get to such a state, what with my 6-month checkups. Lot of good those did me. I'd really just prefer to have everything pulled and get dentures. No more worrying.

My bladder and my teeth are the only physical things that really fill me with dread right now.


----------



## tea111red

Mc Borg said:


> What's wrong?


i have this fluttering feeling in my chest that comes and goes and i guess that's consistent w/ an arrhythmia (or heart failure). i've also taken medication (on/off for 10 yrs) that increases your risk of having an arrhythmia or heart failure so it's not unthinkable to think i could possibly have these conditions.

i felt some squeezing feeling near my arm a few days ago....i know this and what else i described could be bad signs, but i can't get myself to care enough to go get this checked out now and i don't need the added expenses. if something bad happens, then i guess it'll happen. :stu


----------



## Mc Borg

nopersonoperating said:


> i have this fluttering feeling in my chest that comes and goes and i guess that's consistent w/ an arrhythmia (or heart failure). i've also taken medication (on/off for 10 yrs) that increases your risk of having an arrhythmia or heart failure so it's not unthinkable to think i could possibly have these conditions.
> 
> i felt some squeezing feeling near my arm a few days ago....i know this and what else i described could be bad signs, but i can't get myself to care enough to go get this checked out now and i don't need the added expenses. if something bad happens, then i guess it'll happen. :stu


Ah, I see. My girlfriend has a condition that also puts her at risk for arrhythmia. It's a scary thing. She gets regular check ups, though. I understand the not getting checked out part. I'm pretty much in the same situation. I have a few things that are bothering me, but keep putting it off (plus I don't have health insurance like an idiot). I hope that it ends up not being arrhythmia and that you're okay. 
@tehuti88
:hug


----------



## tea111red

Mc Borg said:


> Ah, I see. My girlfriend has a condition that also puts her at risk for arrhythmia. It's a scary thing. She gets regular check ups, though. I understand the not getting checked out part. I'm pretty much in the same situation. I have a few things that are bothering me, but keep putting it off (plus I don't have health insurance like an idiot). I hope that it ends up not being arrhythmia and that you're okay.
> 
> @tehuti88
> :hug


thanks for your understanding....i appreciate it.  sorry about your gf being susceptible to an arrhythmia... it can be scary being at risk of something that can be life-threatening. it's good she is monitoring her health, though. hopefully you can find a way to get your health issues checked out, too. i understand about the health insurance stuff, though....i've been there.

i have been drinking a lot of caffeine lately, in addition to the medication...that might be aggravating things more. i'm going to cut down on that more and see if it helps. hopefully more rest will make a difference as well. it'd be nice if this thing just resolves itself. i'll monitor things...


----------



## herk

feet hurt


----------



## Antonio9

Crisigv said:


> bored, wishing I had friends


Same here it sucks -_-

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## SoundsOfSilence

Empty.


----------



## Str

I feel like an idiot because I'm feeling things that make almost no sense. But then again, that's exactly how emotions work most of the time, so maybe I should instead just find out the reasons for my current emotions. I'm not sure why I'm being so vague about it.


----------



## Crisigv

Confused


----------



## Wanderlust26

Lonely, depressed and unmotivated. I wish I knew how to get myself out of these blues.


----------



## Excaliber

Feeling alot of things the past while, very pressured. I'm very anxious about upcoming events, I've got some big decisions to make soon.


----------



## MCHB

Conflicted.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## Riff Raff

*I have mixed feelings in life right now.* One one hand I have been making much progress in certain areas off my life recently and I am thankful and happy about that.

On the other hand there are other things in life right now that are very frustrating...and some of those issues cause me grief. 
Like I am living with my mom right now... and really wish I was not living with my mom at the moment. 
I also wish I had a larger income > because money is sometimes tight and that can be very frustrating 
Also I do not have a woman in my life right now.. and I get lonely sometimes and that causes me grief 
I also have a painful disability I have to live with and I get frustrated with that sometimes.

So I have mixed feelings. There are some good things going on in my life... and there are things that I am frustrated over 
so I have up and down moments.

I am trying to do the best I can to improve upon my life and make things better


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Blessed and concerned.

I am blessed to have wonderful, caring friends. I sincerely hope that everything will be okay for all of us.

<3

Happy holidays!


----------



## In The Shade

Pissed off


----------



## 812161

Ready...there really is nothing else left for me.


----------



## Wanderlust26

My stomach feels funny. I guess pizza and sangria are not a good mix.

Also, feeling lonely as always.


----------



## tehuti88

Mc Borg said:


> @*tehuti88*
> :hug


Thank you. :squeeze

Two more weeks to get through... :time


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Terrible


----------



## kivi

Dull, monotone.


----------



## funnynihilist

Just finished eating McDonald's breakfast in the parking lot so a mix of shame and regret. Haha.

Coffee is good though.


----------



## cosmicslop

Everytime I get a glimpse of the unsavory people Trump is appointing to his cabinet, I want to throw up.


----------



## whereistheoffswitch

I'm feeling single and lonely... maybe something good will happen next year?


----------



## thomasjune

Pretty good. I'm thankful that Thanksgiving is over with. Though spending time with some family members and a few strangers wasn't that bad I'm still glad it's over. Now I get to relax and enjoy the rest of my weekend.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Crisigv

Meh


----------



## AffinityWing

Tired

I spent pretty much all day finishing up reading a visual novel that is colossally long but it was worth it because I'm really happy to have concluded the first part now.  I'm just so burned out from it I think I might need some time recharge to start the next series.

Oh maybe I'll blog about it a little or something.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bored & hungry


----------



## tehuti88

Feeling sad and lonely again. -_-

I wonder if this will clear up at all when I'm finally fixed. Maybe if I could get to bed earlier I would have less chance to feel so sad and lonely so late at night.

I also feel frustrated and discouraged that I can't seem to continue with my story, even though nobody's reading it anyway. Last night my brain came up with another idea for the main character's alternate personalities (if I go with it, this means he'll now have at least nine total), not that I'd ever end up reaching that part of the story anyway, since this is actually cobbled-together bits of many different stories spanning years. (The part of the story posted now takes place sometime between around 1997-2000, and a LOT has happened since then.) Thus the difficulty of writing it.

And a little worried because my throat feels gross. 

...

Is the site bogging at all for anyone else? I'm noticing lapses when I type and such, but don't know if it's just me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tehuti88

 :hug

I'm trying to help you, so please don't take this the wrong way. 

I read one of your stories and found it hard to stay engaged after first few paragraphs. I think it might be lack of something to relate to which made it hard to stay engaged.

Maybe you just need when on the long journey to the doctor, find a scene for your story and just play with what you see infront of you (take photo's if you can for reference material). Or use google maps if don't want to leave home.

I think turn yourself into a little person (kid) going to the doctor and your parents are driving you. Could even turn yourself into an animal or something else as a character. Just let your imagination go wild. Even use the characters you have developed.

I can stay engaged with your post's on doctor visits, etc, so I can see you have the talent to write good stuff based on life experiences that keeps people engaged (I and others can relate to that) and I believe that is the type of story you should write with a bit of modification to keep the audience engaged. 

Don't be discouraged, just you need to find your story to work from that others can relate to. You have it there in your life experiences. 

I think it might be due to the website ramps up the amount of ram used on the computer you are using and most computers slow down because of that.


----------



## Memories of Silence

Very confused and sad. I thought everything was okay.  I'll never be good enough. Everyone is much better than I could ever be. I can't let this happen, but I know I can't do anything to stop it, and it hurts a lot.  I tried, but I still wasn't good enough. I knew this was going to happen...

I have to pretend everything is okay and that I'm happy when I really want to cry right now. I'm glad I'm in my favourite place. That will help me a bit. Now the songs that remind me of something that makes me happy (where I am) will remind me of this, too.

I wanted it more than anything I've ever wanted, so much that it makes me cry. Now there's not even a chance and I can't do anything at all. There will be someone else instead of me, and I don't even want to think about it. This has meant everything to me for more than the last eight months, and now it's going to be gone forever. It feels wrong, and I'm being ignored. This was very sudden and it doesn't make sense.


----------



## noydb

Resentful.


----------



## TheLastShy

I am dying now. I was playing SC2 yesterday and forgot to fap. Today I woke up with the worst tension ever. The area around the crotch feels like it's going to explode. I am shivering and can't concentrate in anything. Someone pray for me.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

TheLastShy said:


> I am dying now. I was playing SC2 yesterday *and forgot to fap*. Today I woke up with the worst tension ever. The area around the crotch feels like it's going to explode. I am shivering and can't concentrate in anything. Someone pray for me.


ah, so this contradicts what you said in the other post. So, you "forgot"?

A person with enough intelligence and willpower has better priorities than jerking off his dick. Maybe for the average guy it's cutting edge productivity, but not for me

 this post can be your reminder..


----------



## TheLastShy

KILOBRAVO said:


> ah, so this contradicts what you said in the other post. So, you "forgot"?
> 
> A person with enough intelligence and willpower has better priorities than jerking off his dick. Maybe for the average guy it's cutting edge productivity, but not for me
> 
> this post can be your reminder..


This is not a contraction because I was busy improving my SC2 skills, what I consider more important than jerking off. I just jerk off during emergencies when I start to get shivers, tension, insomnia and hallucinations. What happened is that I had a scheduled session and forgot it because of my extremely productive routine.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

TheLastShy said:


> This is not a contraction because I was busy improving my SC2 skills, what I consider more important than jerking off. I just jerk off during emergencies when I start to get shivers, tension, insomnia and hallucinations. What happened is that I had a scheduled session and forgot it because of my extremely productive routine.


ah, this is one of the most reassuring things i have ever read on the Internet.  I'm glad to hear it.


----------



## SFC01

Sad because I have just dropped my kids off at the end of weekend, but happy cos I aint got to put up with there **** anymore till Wednesday.


----------



## Ai

Bewildered. Thankful. Found out a few hours ago that my dad was apparently given $10,000 by the husband of his deceased aunt and he has decided to share $1,500 with each of my siblings and me... Which means I can buy Christmas presents this year! I am so excited.


----------



## kivi

Tired but I have so many things to do so I'll sleep for ~1 hour then start working.


----------



## Ai

Irritated and a little creeped out. While walking home today, an older man (in his late 50's, early 60's I would guess) started crossing the street to my right. He smiled and said hello, so I said hello back. As he neared, he sped up a little bit, like he was going to follow me, and proclaimed, "You're looking pretty cute, where are you headed?" It was fairly windy and I did not want to have this interaction with a complete stranger (especially an older stranger who appeared to be hitting on me, someone who resembles a barely pubescent girl), so I pretended not to hear him and kept walking. Now a good five feet behind, a sneer in his tone, he called after me, "Fine, ignore me! You'll learn!"

Slightly unnerved, I began walking faster and rounded the first corner. I waited there for about 5 minutes to make sure the psycho wasn't following me before I felt safe enough to turn my back again...

What


The


****




And some men just can't fathom why catcalling and unsolicited attention from strangers makes women uncomfortable...


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Apathetic


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely. Restless. Depressed. Tired. The usual.


----------



## Carolyne

Ai said:


> Irritated and a little creeped out. While walking home today, an older man (in his late 50's, early 60's I would guess) started crossing the street to my right. He smiled and said hello, so I said hello back. As he neared, he sped up a little bit, like he was going to follow me, and proclaimed, "You're looking pretty cute, where are you headed?" It was fairly windy and I did not want to have this interaction with a complete stranger (especially an older stranger who appeared to be hitting on me, someone who resembles a barely pubescent girl), so I pretended not to hear him and kept walking. Now a good five feet behind, a sneer in his tone, he called after me, "Fine, ignore me! You'll learn!"
> 
> Slightly unnerved, I began walking faster and rounded the first corner. I waited there for about 5 minutes to make sure the psycho wasn't following me before I felt safe enough to turn my back again...
> 
> What
> 
> The
> 
> ****
> 
> And some men just can't fathom why catcalling and unsolicited attention from strangers makes women uncomfortable...


Yeah, damn, that's scary. You never know how they're going to react, awful position to be in.


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable, sad, lonely, wishing I wasn't sleeping alone tonight. I wish I could just be held until I fell asleep.


----------



## Cashel

I have a cold, they made me go into work anyways. It sucked. I'm sad and lonely alot, I'm not dealing with it well. I'm going to try therapy again, try to be more honest.


----------



## Kevin001

Silent Memory said:


> Very confused and sad. I thought everything was okay.  I'll never be good enough. Everyone is much better than I could ever be. I can't let this happen, but I know I can't do anything to stop it, and it hurts a lot.  I tried, but I still wasn't good enough. I knew this was going to happen...
> 
> I have to pretend everything is okay and that I'm happy when I really want to cry right now. I'm glad I'm in my favourite place. That will help me a bit. Now the songs that remind me of something that makes me happy (where I am) will remind me of this, too.
> 
> I wanted it more than anything I've ever wanted, so much that it makes me cry. Now there's not even a chance and I can't do anything at all. There will be someone else instead of me, and I don't even want to think about it. This has meant everything to me for more than the last eight months, and now it's going to be gone forever. It feels wrong, and I'm being ignored. This was very sudden and it doesn't make sense.


Not sure what you're referring to but I believe everything happens for a reason, keep your head up. :hug


----------



## Overdrive

SamanthaStrange said:


> Lonely. Restless. Depressed. Tired. The usual.


same deal


----------



## Memories of Silence

Kevin001 said:


> Not sure what you're referring to but I believe everything happens for a reason, keep your head up. :hug


Thanks. I believe everything happens for a reason, too.

After two days of being ignored, I finally got a message. All it said was "Please leave me alone I don't love you anymore. Have a good life." 

I don't even know what happened. Now I know I probably never meant anything.


----------



## Kevin001

Silent Memory said:


> Thanks. I believe everything happens for a reason, too.
> 
> After two days of being ignored, I finally got a message. All it said was "Please leave me alone I don't love you anymore. Have a good life."
> 
> I don't even know what happened. Now I know I probably never meant anything.


Was this a bf? I don't really know you well personally but you seems like a very sweet girl screw that guy, his loss. :squeeze


----------



## AllTheSame

Awesome. Today's been a really, really good day. I haven't had a good day like this in a long time, ffs.


----------



## tehuti88

Silent Memory said:


> Thanks. I believe everything happens for a reason, too.
> 
> After two days of being ignored, I finally got a message. All it said was "Please leave me alone I don't love you anymore. Have a good life."
> 
> I don't even know what happened. Now I know I probably never meant anything.


I'm sorry. It's so crushing when something like this happens without even an explanation.


----------



## Excaliber

Its been an alright day, still getting over my cold and feeling tired which has caused me to be a bit sloppy today. That lead to me being yelled at but at least I got to watch my favorite show.


----------



## cosmicslop

Resolute, so a bit optimistic as well.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Off


----------



## Crisigv

I'm just constantly feeling down, pathetic.


----------



## PhilipJFry

Silent Memory said:


> Thanks. I believe everything happens for a reason, too.
> 
> After two days of being ignored, I finally got a message. All it said was "Please leave me alone I don't love you anymore. Have a good life."
> 
> I don't even know what happened. Now I know I probably never meant anything.


I hate those situations. It's rough being treated like a stranger by someone you really care about and believed they cared about you as well.

You start questioning what you did wrong. It wasn't you though, if they're willing to pretend you don't even exist. It's better to accept that you were wrong about them. It made it a lot easier for me to move on, but then again, I still struggle with some trust issues.

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.


----------



## Memories of Silence

Kevin001 said:


> Was this a bf? I don't really know you well personally but you seems like a very sweet girl screw that guy, his loss. :squeeze





tehuti88 said:


> I'm sorry. It's so crushing when something like this happens without even an explanation.





PhilipJFry said:


> I hate those situations. It's rough being treated like a stranger by someone you really care about and believed they cared about you as well.
> 
> You start questioning what you did wrong. It wasn't you though, if they're willing to pretend you don't even exist. It's better to accept that you were wrong about them. It made it a lot easier for me to move on, but then again, I still struggle with some trust issues.
> 
> I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.


Thanks, everyone. :squeeze He always said he would never do this to me, which makes it even worse. No one else has ever understood me like he did, and now I feel invisible to him, like I don't exist and like he hates me. I want everything to go back to how it was because none of this feels right and I don't want to believe it. It almost feels like it was all just some kind of game to hurt me. It's going to be very hard for me to trust anyone now.


----------



## Blue Dino

Silent Memory said:


> Thanks, everyone. :squeeze He always said he would never do this to me, which makes it even worse. No one else has ever understood me like he did, and now I feel invisible to him, like I don't exist and like he hates me. I want everything to go back to how it was because none of this feels right and I don't want to believe it. It almost feels like it was all just some kind of game to hurt me. *It's going to be very hard for me to trust anyone now.*


Sorry to hear that. Don't let one sh1tty person or any sh1tty people in general change your outlook in life. Move on, not let them shape who you are. Shape how you want yourself to be.


----------



## kivi

Panicked. It's not a big problem I currently have but I can't stop feeling panicked. I need to relax.


----------



## Riff Raff

I am feeling GREAT in life right now. I really am. Most of my life has been pain and suffering on many levels... to the point where I almost died several times. But the past few months of my life > things have been getting SO Much BETTER for me.. and now I am very happy in life. I am in the best shape of my life right now. I moved to a new place that I love. SO I am living in the best place I have ever lived right mow. I have a lot of good things going for me in life right now. I am happier now and feeling better about life right now at the age of 44 then I ever had at any other time in my life and its an awesome thing after all the **** I have been through for decades.

One thing that is interesting about my life is my life seems to be going different then most people. Most people I meet. They usually had a great childhood and early life > then their life slowly fades away year after year and later on in life they do not have it good at all. SO most people kind of start off on a high point and then their life slowly degrades until they die. 
ME > my life has been the exact opposite. My childhood was all abuse, pain, mental torment, medical problems and other bad things. But *my life gets BETTER as I go. * 
So for me I started off life in the worst time of my life early on and slowly as I go in life *my life gets better each year.* And I am convinced that it will continue to get better until I die... and what is good about that is... I know that I am going to end well in life. and for me that is a better way to have life.

These are the best times of my life just recently!! 
So thanks for asking.


----------



## Kevin001

Silent Memory said:


> Thanks, everyone. :squeeze He always said he would never do this to me, which makes it even worse. No one else has ever understood me like he did, and now I feel invisible to him, like I don't exist and like he hates me. I want everything to go back to how it was because none of this feels right and I don't want to believe it. It almost feels like it was all just some kind of game to hurt me. It's going to be very hard for me to trust anyone now.


You'll meet someone better, I'm sure of it :yes.


----------



## Mur

hungee


----------



## littleghost

It's not a good day. I can't seem to do anything. I just want to stay in bed and sleep, but I'm not really tired. I have these plans for getting out more and doing more, but it seems like having the plans makes it all worse and I can't do anything. I'm going to try again tomorrow for sure. I need to get out of this rut.


----------



## thomasjune

Got into an argument with a family member and now I feel like crap. I'm sick of them letting people take advantage of them and then when everything falls apart they come crying to me. Some people never fcking learn.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good. Today has been tough at times, but overall a really awesome day so far. My mom got discharged from the hospital today. I spent some of this afternoon taking care of her while my dad went to get her prescriptions filled. She resting up, mostly sleeping because of the meds they gave her. I'm glad she's feeling better. It's very scary watching a loved one go into the ER, and then get admitted into the hospital immediately, and then have them tell you even after all the battery of tests that they don't know what's wrong. They think it's a bad med combination, mostly, they're not sure. It's just good to see her feeling better.

I've been having fun with my kids this weekend. My youngest has invented these alter ego / personalities just for fun, that she slips into every once in a while. We were playing cards and she slipped into her Vladya personality. Vladya is a young Russian girl, with a very, very thick Russian accent that she does perfectly. She started teasing her little brother with it. "Do not speak to me in that manner, little boy, for I am Vladya. You howevah, are a little boy wif very little body hair. Why you have no body hair on your arms little boy? You emballass me, to no end. Do not speak to me again, ever, you should be banished from my country". Then when her brother started talking smack back to her she slipped into Vladya The Second, who's from somewhere in the Middle East (we can't figure out where exactly, she won't say). "You speak blaphemously, you should show a woman respect, little boy. Get out of my face, infidel, go back to Amalica with your head held low in shame, infidel!! And her accent is so perfect and she never breaks character, me and her brother and sister were laughing so hard. It wouldn't surprise me at all if she really got into drama when she gets into hs. Everyone loves her characters. My kids are all the entertainment I need, ffs.


----------



## Crisigv

Sore


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

 :hug

Sleep helps with that. Sometimes just don't get enough or too much which makes it hard to sleep again.

@kivi

Breathe in, out fully while concentrating on an object, it's shape, colour, etc. If mind wanders to worrying thoughts, refocus on the object, it's shape, colour, etc.

@littleghost

I find that I'm like that and once do the tasks I can sleep easier. Doing the tasks is usually the answer.

@AllTheSame

Good to hear about your loved one. 

As you already know, been there myself, but my loved one is still in the hospital. 

We both seem to be going through bad times with loved ones, huh?

Sounds like an awesome family. 

@Crisigv

Aww, big huggies.


----------



## AllTheSame

@*ANX1* I'm sorry, I hope they get well soon. It's awesome that you've been there for them like you have. My mom is a lot more coherent and a little more like herself today, but she's not out of the woods yet, speech and movement are still very, very slow. There are going to be lots of follow ups. Still worried about some of her test results but she told me it feels good to be back home. While my dad was gone getting her prescriptions I managed to convince her to lay down in her own bed, since it had been a while...I helped her out of her wheelchair and into bed and she slept for probably four or five hours. So now she'll be up half the night, but at least she got some sleep.

It's strange taking care of my abuser. I mean, of course I'd do everything I could for her, everything in my power to help her in any way I possibly could. I love her because she's my mom. And her health is getting to the point now where my sister and I are going to have to step in more and more, my dad just can't do it all himself anymore. Anyways she has just always been someone to be feared when I was a little kid, someone to avoid, someone to hide from when I was really young and she was on one of her rampages...which was often. God she was abusive, just....really way, way beyond abusive. And emotionally, also, she had an evil, poison tongue (and she still does) and her words are meant to hurt people where they're most vulnerable. So it's just very, very strange for me seeing her this weak, and this much in need of help to do the simplest day-to-day things now. And it's strange being the one that's caring for her at times now. When, in reality, she never really cared for me....she never was a parent to me, she knows very, very little about how to parent.


----------



## Excaliber

Important night tomorrow, but I'll probably end up cancelling, I just had to get a cold sore for this one occasion, the last thing I wanted to ruin this, that's all they will be able to focus on.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed. Lonely. Hopeless.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@AllTheSame

Thank you for your kind words about my loved one. 

Your loved one is most likely projecting her problems onto you to feel better. If think of it that way, usually has no effect emotionally.

@SamanthaStrange

 :hug


----------



## Crisigv

A.A said:


> Very bitter and agitated.


You are a strange one, I won't get.


----------



## Crisigv

A.A said:


> I've lost my mind, there isn't anything to "look at,".


I'm sure you haven't lost your mind, but just having a bad spell?


----------



## SociallyAwkward19

Tired


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Perpetually out of place


----------



## Excaliber

Feeling disappointed in myself.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Sad, worried, relieved? I don't know. I called in sick again but I'm not really. Whatever, I hate the managers anyway.


----------



## Wanderlust26

On second thought, I feel stupid. I knew I shouldn't have drank this evening.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired.....going to bed soon.


----------



## Memories of Silence

Very annoyed at myself and my anxiety.  I misunderstood things and worried too much about something that didn't even happen, and it hurt and scared someone, so he left. Now I can't do anything to fix it because he misunderstood something as well, so now he hates me and never wants to hear from me again.

I feel like I'm a bad person. I didn't even know he felt like that, and I wish I could change what I was like to him so everything could be okay. I was stupid.


----------



## millenniumman75

relaxed


----------



## Zozulya

Tired, unnerved, angry.


----------



## sandromeda

Unnerved...


----------



## thomasjune

Pretty good.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## CallmeIshmael

I feel decent, I'm excited for work and I'm listening to music so that makes me happy.

Gosh dang it feels good to be a gangster, A real gangster nice person plays his cards right, a real gangster nice person never runs their talking mouth because real gangster nice people don't start fights.


----------



## 806210

So bored... my friends not in school today so I got nothing to do


----------



## Crisigv

Been feeling so down for the past few days.


----------



## Dreaming1111

Feeling more anxious again today and I thought I was getting better. Maybe tomorrow will be better...


----------



## Excaliber

Feeling tired, I realized today just how terrible I am with phone calls.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

A lucid mixture of anger, fear, and misery, with vague nausea to top it off. It feels like a whirlwind, every facet of my consciousness within its radius, subsequently subject to distortion at the least, and destruction at worst. My mother had a mental breakdown and revealed what I suspect is how she really feels about me and the rest of my family. Words like "ungrateful b-itch" and the C word were thrown around, as well as lazy piece of ****. The latter was for me. I could see such hatred in her eyes and it made me sick to my stomach. I felt like vomiting as I was crying in the shower after she left the house. The last of my ever-declining respect for her has dissipated. I want to move out, but I can't. I'm trapped in a house that is falling apart with a mother that hates me and is likely to try to commit suicide sooner or later. I don't know what to think or do.


----------



## tehuti88

Depressed, sad, lonely. I'm starting to feel homesick and worried about my upcoming procedure (if something doesn't happen to jeopardize it, that is). Really hope my urologist can do all the followup work, because my dad made it pretty clear last night that we (that is, _he_) will NOT be able to drive back down there for anything.

If I had cancer or something potentially terminal, I bet he could make the drive with no complaints.

Meanwhile, every time I ask that she ask for clarification or something from the doctors, my mother gets angry and exasperated and snaps at me. I'm not even being unreasonable in what I'm asking her to get clarified, since the doctors have been giving us such a runaround. The procedure is Tuesday, I'm supposed to start my special diet on Sunday, and we're _still_ not entirely sure what the instructions are. And as I mentioned, I'm not sure my urologist is equipped to take care of ALL the followup, so we need that clarified too, and she's just fed up with it all.

It's like they think I'm going through this just to inconvenience them. When _I'm_ the one who's going to get cut open, and _I'm_ the one who's supposed to be scared/upset. Yet when I express my concerns (for example, we JUST found out that I'm going to have to visit _two different locations_ for pre-op procedures, one of them_ four miles_ from the hospital grounds (this is going to be when I'm urinating and defecating myself like crazy), and since my dad is heading right back home we'll have no transportation aside from the hotel shuttle which we think goes only to the hospital!--how are we going to get there??), they tell me to stop worrying about stupid things!

And despite all that, I still feel guilty, and worry about my parents constantly, and hate that I'm burdening them so, yet they always insist I don't care. (My mother even says I "didn't care" about her when she was prepping for her colonoscopy--what?? I kept out of her way, kept away from the bathroom as much as I could, got things when she needed them, asked if she was okay, commiserated over how ill she felt, what more proof does she need?? Both she and my dad, meanwhile, get irritated when I ask them if they're okay!) But I could really use their support now. :crying:


----------



## kivi

Very sleepy and pensive. I'll go to that herbalist and ask if there's a herbal tea which makes you stay awake and energetic. (Also evening primrose oil for a different thing). I can't stand feeling always sleepy anymore and I don't like drinking coffee that much.


----------



## sad1231234

tehuti88 said:


> Depressed, sad, lonely. I'm starting to feel homesick and worried about my upcoming procedure (if something doesn't happen to jeopardize it, that is). Really hope my urologist can do all the followup work, because my dad made it pretty clear last night that we (that is, _he_) will NOT be able to drive back down there for anything.
> 
> If I had cancer or something potentially terminal, I bet he could make the drive with no complaints.
> 
> Meanwhile, every time I ask that she ask for clarification or something from the doctors, my mother gets angry and exasperated and snaps at me. I'm not even being unreasonable in what I'm asking her to get clarified, since the doctors have been giving us such a runaround. The procedure is Tuesday, I'm supposed to start my special diet on Sunday, and we're _still_ not entirely sure what the instructions are. And as I mentioned, I'm not sure my urologist is equipped to take care of ALL the followup, so we need that clarified too, and she's just fed up with it all.
> 
> It's like they think I'm going through this just to inconvenience them. When _I'm_ the one who's going to get cut open, and _I'm_ the one who's supposed to be scared/upset. Yet when I express my concerns (for example, we JUST found out that I'm going to have to visit _two different locations_ for pre-op procedures, one of them_ four miles_ from the hospital grounds (this is going to be when I'm urinating and defecating myself like crazy), and since my dad is heading right back home we'll have no transportation aside from the hotel shuttle which we think goes only to the hospital!--how are we going to get there??), they tell me to stop worrying about stupid things!
> 
> And despite all that, I still feel guilty, and worry about my parents constantly, and hate that I'm burdening them so, yet they always insist I don't care. (My mother even says I "didn't care" about her when she was prepping for her colonoscopy--what?? I kept out of her way, kept away from the bathroom as much as I could, got things when she needed them, asked if she was okay, commiserated over how ill she felt, what more proof does she need?? Both she and my dad, meanwhile, get irritated when I ask them if they're okay!) But I could really use their support now.


Sorry you are in this situation. Its hard being misunderstood by people who are close to you







I hope it all goes well!


----------



## sad1231234

ShatteredGlass said:


> A lucid mixture of anger, fear, and misery, with vague nausea to top it off. It feels like a whirlwind, every facet of my consciousness within its radius, subsequently subject to distortion at the least, and destruction at worst. My mother had a mental breakdown and revealed what I suspect is how she really feels about me and the rest of my family. Words like "ungrateful b-itch" and the C word were thrown around, as well as lazy piece of ****. The latter was for me. I could see such hatred in her eyes and it made me sick to my stomach. I felt like vomiting as I was crying in the shower after she left the house. The last of my ever-declining respect for her has dissipated. I want to move out, but I can't. I'm trapped in a house that is falling apart with a mother that hates me and is likely to try to commit suicide sooner or later. I don't know what to think or do.


That sounds like an awful situation to be in. It really hurts to have people think of you as those horrible things when you are struggling. Hopefully things can go well. Im sure when you eventually move out, things will be much better.


----------



## sad1231234

Im a bit depressed lately, life is getting to me, staying in this room all day long. But compared to the people on here, im probably quite well off.


----------



## Megashyguy

sad1231234 said:


> Im a bit depressed lately, life is getting to me, staying in this room all day long. But compared to the people on here, im probably quite well off.


Your still worth the time and people on here will always happy to talk to you.... 
It's hard ik but just try to keep your mind busy either on a project or something you enjoy.


----------



## Megashyguy

Like there is a war in my head that's keeping me confined and trapped on a spiral of pain. I can't talk to anyone it's just to hard for me to do and half the time I can't even put it into words. I feel so lonely sometimes even if I am talking/with my 2 friends and then when I am with them Imore constantly worrying about what I'm saying and how stupid I look/sound. It just never ceases


----------



## CrystalGemPearl

Absolutely miserable.


----------



## kivi

Feeling grateful for the olive paste and cream cheese. They're my saviors, what keep me on working at never ending midnights . It's also good that they're sold for a proper price and don't take much place on refrigerator.


----------



## Smiddy

Mad I broke my new phone after 2 days.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Really lonely, depressed, bitter, stressed out, and annoyed.


----------



## Carolyne

SamanthaStrange said:


> Really lonely, depressed, bitter, stressed out, and annoyed.


What's got you stressed out? I've been working 6 day weeks lately and I feel like my body is going to breakdown at any moment. I need a break.


----------



## kivi

Tired, sad and very unmotivated.


----------



## noydb

Useless


----------



## Blue Dino

Unease.


----------



## Crisigv

Tired. It took so long to fall asleep. My back is feeling pretty bad too. I keep getting stabs of pain.


----------



## cosmicslop

Mildly annoyed. My 1.5 hour lass was done in 10 minutes. Now I have this 2 hour gap. I'm going home.


----------



## Ai

Tired, brain-foggy, a little beaten down. But also excited and grateful. I have some really wonderful people in my life. I am lucky.


----------



## no subject

Nervous


----------



## Ai

Is it weird to actually feel _better_ when someone clumsy and incompetent tries to bring you down?

Thriving by the Gospel of Spite is a hell of a thing... :lol


----------



## railcar82594

terrible, have had stages of a bad flu. wondering if I could die from it, occasionally half-wishing somewhat I would in sleep.


----------



## Kevin001

Cold...in the 20s here.


----------



## AllTheSame

Worried about my boss....he's having major surgery today. He's been having very serious neck problems over the last few months. When we tour stores together or go out of town, a lot of the time I drive just because he's in pain much of the time. They're going to put steel plates in his neck, in his spine this morning. For fuqs sake, man.

It's major, major surgery of course....I mean they are going to cut him open, they're going to make a huge incision all the way up the front of his neck, going along the side. My business unit manager and I, and everyone else, have been trying to keep him somewhat calm about it, or....as calm as you can possibly be before a surgery like that. He has one of the best surgeon's in the world, ffs. This guy has performed this surgery thousands of times. He's going to be fine.

I'm not sure what I can do to help at this point, other than take care of my sales calls and answer questions from other team members so they won't blow up his phone today, or next week, especially. I'm going to visit him today, of course, but he may not even want visitors. They may not even let me into his room, even if he'd be OK with it. I can be there with his boss and his wife though, and talk and offer support by just being there. There's just not much else I can do. Hopefully he recovers quickly.

On a much, much lighter note, thank ****** god it's Friday. I need a weekend with no plans, and this weekend I have absolutely no plans at all. It's cold as *** outside. A good weekend for PlayStation games and maybe a movie marathon.

I think I'm just gonna put in half a day today at work. I'm ahead on my sales calls for the month, way ahead.


----------



## sandromeda

anxious...


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & hungry


----------



## kivi

Very sad. I feel the depression taking me over slowly. I feel like spending time alone, outside at late nights.


----------



## thomasjune

It's Friday so I feel great tonight. Going grocery shopping tomorrow and then I'll come home and relax for the rest of the day.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Don Aman

I'm getting nostalgic over stuff I didn't particularly enjoy and don't want to repeat in life.


----------



## Virgo

Well I am starting to feel a lot better physically after entering an entire week of some really intense medication withdrawal. Also I just started that medication again yesterday. So thank goodness.... mentally though, I still feel absolutely horrible from it all.
@Don Aman I can absolutely relate. As an example, I know I detested middle school and high school. And while I definitely don't miss middle school, sometimes I get really nostalgic about high school. Why? I had the worst time there. Some things though, I miss a great deal... my high school self would slap the sh*t out of me if she even heard me say that.

Same with working at the dog kennel sort of, I sometimes say "I'd really love to work there again!" but in reality I actually mean only for a day to relive the good experiences and then NEVER AGAIN. Lol


----------



## Ethereal Light

Lackluster and numb.


----------



## AllTheSame

I'm feeling somewhat relieved, but at the same time still very worried. My boss was in surgery from about 11:00am until 5:00pm today. Yeah, a ****** six hour surgery, to repair damaged / degenerated bones in his neck, at the top of his spinal cord. They put metal plates into his neck, into his spinal cord. The details of this surgery get so, so graphic and so hard to believe even that I'm not even gonna repeat some of it here. It was a very risky surgery.

My boss has said before that he considers me a friend, that I take care of him, that I watch out for him. I just wish I could do the same for him right now but the fact is there is nothing I can really do. His wife is with him of course. My business unit manager has been talking to his wife. I've been talking to my business unit manager (my boss' boss).

All this might seem kind of ridiculous but it's a really invasive, very serious surgery, and like I told my boss' boss....I don't want to visit him just because I know how he'd be. He is soooo, soooo "on" all the time and if I show up all I'm going to make him do is think about work, and stress him out, and ffs, that's the last thing he needs. And my boss' boss agreed with me.

I just hope he's OK. I'm worried.

He's going to be off next week of course, and then the next week is the last full week before Christmas. And I'm going to try to tell the stubborn old ****** mule to take it easy but he's going to want to visit stores, so I'm going to be his Uber driver. And ffs, ffs, ffs that week is going to be an adventure. It's one of the last weeks that I will be with him, before I'm promoted and have a new boss, and I'm going to have to keep him calm and not let his panties get in a wad. But at the same time I'm going to have to tell him "NO" when he's doing too much.

We have that kind of relationship....yes, he's my boss, yeah that's understood but we've been on road trips to stores before where we've both told each other to *** off. So. *sigh* he's stubborn as ***, and I'm going to have to be his caretaker for a while and believe me I don't mind, that is the very least I can do. But he is so, so stubborn. I'm afraid he's going to hurt himself.


----------



## Don Aman

@Atheism

The tendency to idealize nearly every moment in my life at some point regardless of how awful I know I felt during those points is something I'll never understand. Perhaps it's just a craving for something different than what I'm experiencing at the moment. It's pretty much inevitable for me on a lonely night when I've spent a few hours laying around listening to music.

I actually have dreams where I find myself back at old jobs I hated and I'm always surprised by the fact that I'm never that upset to be there. I like the notion of seeing people I never thought I'd see again and doing things I was sick of at the time but find almost refreshing when revisiting them. I'm sure ending up in a situation like that in real life would be the most depressing thing ever though.

Memories tend to have a lot more in common with dreams than they do with my current reality I guess.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Burnt out


----------



## YeOldeInternet

I have itchy eyeballs.


----------



## Rains

Very stressed out and wound up right now, and ironically it's always hardest to relax when you need it most. It's a contrast to my mood only a couple of weeks ago where I was feeling quite happy. I always feel like I'm on my own, always. I don't have any real support, it always evades me. I don't know how to attract anyone into my life who is good for me.


----------



## Megashyguy

****.
I keeping going to talk about my problems and then I stop myself cause I realise that there are people that need help more than i do and that my stuff isn't important.


----------



## Pandemoniac

Angry and unfulfilled.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

My soul hurts


----------



## tea111red

i want these horrible experiences washed out of my head.


----------



## pinay

sad and lonely and really unmotivated


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling awesome. I can't believe it's less than two weeks until Christmas. Two weeks on, then at least a full week off, probably more like a week and a half or two weeks off.

~sent from my GalaxyS4


----------



## KILOBRAVO

Pretty good.  I'm meeting people every day and it's good to help and advise them.  And the people I'm working with just now i also like and they like me  It also feels good to be on the same side of the desk in this official setting  I don't like calling people on the phone a lot, because i feel its a bit impersonal. I'd rather be in person. This is a lot better than I thought it'd be.


----------



## Still Waters

I feel ok,but I can sense how fragile that state of mind is and am trying not to worry it's about to go downhill....


----------



## Ai

Giddy, grateful. My mother ordered me a couple _adorable_ dresses for my birthday and they arrived today.

Frost bite, schmost bite. I'mma look fabulous.

Or my outfits are, anyway...?


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good. Much better now. It's been an eventful day, I may post about it later.

I got a text from the woman I used to crush on, that I met on this site. We've met up irl a few times, but things just didn't work out....basically I got tired of her keeping me in limbo. And....it's not like I was trying to rush things, ffs....we've been talking and occasionally seeing each other for over two years now. Though we did both rush things a bit the first time we met. Ffs, within the first hour of us meeting irl for the first time we were in her bed, kissing, with hands wandering all over the place.

Anyways she texted me, out of the blue today, asked if I was ready for Christmas and how I was doing. I was just a little surprised because in the last few months I've stopped initiating any and all communication with her, and when she texts me I text back, but my responses are real short, and to the point.

Whatever. If she still wants to be friends I'm good with that. I still love her very, very much as a friend, I'm just tired of her playing games with my heart and mind....I understand she's going through a divorce, and she has trust issues. But I've gone through a divorce (two of them, actually) and I have trust issues also. It's either going to happen or it's not, and I'm sorry but I'm not gonna wait around forever for you to make up your mind. Friends is alright with me though. Just, ffs, don't expect anything more than that from me again. You've burned those bridges babe, more than once already.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm not happy


----------



## funnynihilist

I have a dark cloud over me.


----------



## Megashyguy

Surrounded in pain and annoyance.
I have no effort to do anything not even the things I usually enjoy.


----------



## Excaliber

Besides all the snow, ice and slush I had to deal with on the roads today, it was actually a pretty good day, met some interesting people.


----------



## duvalsi

I feel super down today and I'm trapped here at work for another 3 and a half more hours. I can't concentrate so even trying to lose myself into my job working accounts ain't helping.


----------



## Jcgrey

lost


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Miserable and hopeless.


----------



## AllTheSame

Jcgrey said:


> lost


Wow I haven't seen you post on this site in forever, man  Hope you're doing well, or at least coping, I know the lost feeling, all too well.

I remember the Smashing Pumpkins live videos you used to post here once in a while (not sure if you remember that, it was quite a while ago) and they were awesome.


----------



## Ai

Solemn. It just occurred to me a few moments ago that tomorrow will be the two year anniversary of my grandmother's death... :blank


----------



## AllTheSame

Meh...mixed feelings. I think I'm going to take a day off today like my boss suggested. He def doesn't have a problem with it, he told me so yesterday. And the meds I got yesterday are kicking in but I'm still having some pretty major symptoms, meds are not at 100% and I don't feel like I'm out of the woods yet....going back to the ER even might not be a bad idea if I don't see some huge improvements today. I'm not sure driving would even be a good idea yet. I drove yesterday when I was in much worse shape but, meh, probably wasn't the best idea considering I had to pull over a couple of times.

I feel bad doing it but using one sick day in six months time is not all that bad, I think I have three or four days to take in that six month period. Especially considering every single person on my sales team has taken at least two or three during that time, some a lot more than that. It is what it is. I'm ahead at work right now so probably best to try to just get well.


----------



## Jcgrey

AllTheSame said:


> Wow I haven't seen you post on this site in forever, man  Hope you're doing well, or at least coping, I know the lost feeling, all too well.
> 
> I remember the Smashing Pumpkins live videos you used to post here once in a while (not sure if you remember that, it was quite a while ago) and they were awesome.


I hope you are doing well also. I've been in lurk mode for quite some time. Quite surprised anyone remembers me :smile2:


----------



## AllTheSame

Jcgrey said:


> I hope you are doing well also. I've been in lurk mode for quite some time. Quite surprised anyone remembers me :smile2:


Doing well. Trying to get well physically right now but getting over it, blah, gotta love this time of year sometimes. But I am looking forward to Christmas with my kids and family.

I can understand being in lurk mode This is a support site, but oh my God man, I'm sure I don't need to explain to you that some members come here for allll sorts of reasons, some having nothing, nothing to do with support, giving it or receiving it lol.

Are you still on that "other" site (don't think I'm allowed to mention the name here, as the last time I tried the name was blocked on this site)? I still talk to occasionally and am friends with the woman that gave birth to that site lmao....she's just awesome sauce. We don't talk as much anymore except on Facebook occasionally but I still consider her to be an awesome friend....anyways I'm pretty sure you were on that site, also....hope I'm not confused with someone else lol....it's been years for me since I've been there.


----------



## Jcgrey

Yes I'm still over there. My name there is Sagan. It's a slow forum, but welcoming and friendly. I am the science guy over there lol


----------



## tea111red

i want to purge so much from my life.


----------



## duvalsi

I'm feeling pretty good. I had my first session with a new therapist and it went really good, he was really supportive and I feel I can trust him with some of my deeper issues. It was a huge pain in the *** getting there and I got lost after I parked but in the end it went well. Plus we negotiated a very reasonable fee (way lower than I expected)


----------



## Overdrive

nopersonoperating said:


> i want to purge so much from my life.


Same


----------



## AllTheSame

Jcgrey said:


> Yes I'm still over there. My name there is Sagan. It's a slow forum, but welcoming and friendly. I am the science guy over there lol


Good to hear. I just...never really felt like I fit in there for some reason. Which is strange I guess because I'm like really good friends with the woman who started it, I'm sure you know who I mean I just don't want to name names. She's just ****** awesome sauce, especially with everything she's struggled with and has gone through, much, much more than I could've handled with the grace and patience and perseverence that she's had. She really is amazing. She's all involved with her bf now and she is really busy with just life, so we don't talk as much but I do miss our long chats that sometimes went on until after midnight lol. I might lurk over at that site again, IDK. She keeps inviting me to come back but it just never felt like I fit in there much. Sounds like you're doing well, good to hear, man.


----------



## AllTheSame

For the first time in several years, actually for the first time since my ex-gf's suicide, I'm actually a little bit excited about Christmas this year. I always get into it for my kids anyway, you have to, you know. But I really am kind of feeling it this year.

I have enough saved for my kids to go a little crazy this year but I'm going to stay reasonable. Too much doesn't always make it better, anyway, and there is such a thing as going overboard. I have a friend that says you should buy your kids "something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read". Meh, Idk of anyone parent that really sticks to just that but it's good to keep that in mind. I'm also just looking forward to a week or two of vacation.

I always get loaded down with gift cards at Christmas, I guess my family never knows what to get me, and well, don't get me wrong it's awesome having a couple hundred dollars or more worth of gift cards but I just don't even know what the hell I would buy. There's nothing I really need. My dad always amazes me though. He's one of those people that will take notice of the smallest things you mention throughout the year, just in passing, and at Christmas or birthdays he'll buy you exactly what you need...sometimes when you don't even realize you needed it lmao. A couple of years ago he got me a new laptop, ffs, that was a shock. I try to be like that...remember the things people have mentioned and try to zone in on what they really want or need. It's a lot more personal imo than just doing gift cards. But meh, sometimes I'm pretty good at doing it, sometimes I go with gift cards though lol.

I never know what to get my dad because he's one of those people that really has everything, he's ****** impossible to buy for.


----------



## SplendidBob

Quite emotionally raw today. 

Stuff going on I don't much like and the silence isn't helpful. "Speak tomorrow" and then nothing, isn't what I would have expected.


----------



## doe deer

sad to the point where i'm speechless


----------



## rdrr

feeling like life is going at a million miles an hour


----------



## tea111red

low.


----------



## In The Shade

Really pissed off


----------



## kivi

Useless, unmotivated


----------



## Crisigv

Kind of meh. But the skin on my face feels so nice. Had a mini spa day here at home. And I'm starting to put some Christmas gifts together, and I made my bed, so I guess I feel productive.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Extremely depressed and anxious.


----------



## Megashyguy

Invisible and not wanted or needed


----------



## SFC01

Feeling good - had a great time silently mouthing carols at my kids school carol service and listening to a drip of a vicar talking nonsense - O Little town of Bethlehem - forgot what a belting tune that is.

Just put in a great year again with no depression or no anxiety after a torrid few years. Life is sweet at the mo and I cant complain.


----------



## harrison

Unstable


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Somewhat tired, and a bit worried. Not that I ever especially like Christmas, for various reasons. Amongst other things, It's a bit of a shame that no-one on the other shy forum organises Christmas (or New Year) pub/club gatherings any more which (back in the late 00s), could be really good. But as with all the once numerous meets on that site, the demand for them seems to have gradually all but disappeared, for whatever reasons.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Depressed and stuck.


----------



## Ai

Cold.


----------



## ljubo

I am happy for the first time in a long time.


----------



## riverbird

Kind of depressed. A bit angry.


----------



## Crisigv

Alright for the moment. Feet hurt, but that's the norm.


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good. Feeling physically better but I still haven't shaken this stuff yet. Ffs, It's been eight days now, with a trip to the ER. I think I'm getting over it finally but it sure is taking it's sweet damn time lol.

Last week of work until Christmas, and I got a good phone call from my boss today. Not my new one, ffs this is complicated, the one I have now. But I'll be working with both of them...they still want me on sales calls when other team members are having trouble, falling behind or can't meet quotas. And then I'll have my new position, of which, I know absolutely ****** nothing about yet, really.

Anyways my old boss the one I have now, asked me today if I thought the guy I was helping could finish this next week on his own, without my help. I haven't gotten back to him yet. He says he needs to put me in another area because they're further behind than he thought. I'm good with going wherever. I get paid mileage, and for travel time, Idgaf lol. It feels nice to be needed at my job, seriously. But Idk how having two bosses is going to work out. I mean, I already have a million bosses anyways, ffs (clients, buyers, sellers, business unit managers, my team lead, receiving managers and individual client reps....and not to mention, my boss' boss). So it's not like I don't know how to play that game.


----------



## Ai

Numb, defeated. I don't belong anywhere, nor do I deserve to.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ai said:


> Numb, defeated. I don't belong anywhere, nor do I deserve to.


I can relate. Sorry you're feeling that way. :squeeze

As for me, I am feeling very lonely.


----------



## TheWelshOne

Ai said:


> Numb, defeated. I don't belong anywhere, nor do I deserve to.


:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze :squeeze:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze

(Would have been more than 10 but apparently there's a limit)


----------



## kivi

So sad. My classmate sent a message saying there'll be several bomb attacks here soon (it's not certain but I already have been anxious because of this before), it's the place where I go for stationery and close to the place which one bomb attack happened before. Today I need to go somewhere else but I can't go outside.


----------



## Virgo

Extremely, extremely, extremely burnt out. I've been working non-stop on this huge art project for school and once I'm done with it I have two more huge art projects to do. I'm dying right now lol. I'm only taking breaks to eat (while on SAS) and sleep. I want to play the game I've been addicted to but I'm also disappointed because I died more than three times which was my personal limit so as far as I'm concerned I "lost" already, fml.


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

**** it.


----------



## Perkins

Anxiety and dread, mainly, for what lies ahead. And I hate it.


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad. Things are falling into place nicely.


----------



## noydb

kivi said:


> So sad. My classmate sent a message saying there'll be several bomb attacks here soon (it's not certain but I already have been anxious because of this before), it's the place where I go for stationery and close to the place which one bomb attack happened before. Today I need to go somewhere else but I can't go outside.


:squeeze I'm so sorry, that sounds really terrifying.


----------



## funnynihilist

It's very hard to come to a place of peace that you may never get all the good things that other people get.
I get so jealous of even average people.


----------



## kivi

noydb said:


> :squeeze I'm so sorry, that sounds really terrifying.


Yeah . Though, I managed to go outside today.


----------



## Ai

SamanthaStrange said:


> I can relate. Sorry you're feeling that way. :squeeze
> 
> As for me, I am feeling very lonely.


Thanks. I'm sorry you're able to relate. No fun at all. :/ :squeeze



TheWelshOne said:


> (Would have been more than 10 but apparently there's a limit)


:squeeze



kivi said:


> So sad. My classmate sent a message saying there'll be several bomb attacks here soon (it's not certain but I already have been anxious because of this before), it's the place where I go for stationery and close to the place which one bomb attack happened before. Today I need to go somewhere else but I can't go outside.


:O That is scary. Where do you live, if you don't mind me asking?


----------



## kivi

Ai said:


> :O That is scary. Where do you live, if you don't mind me asking?


Turkey, Ankara. Lots of crazy things happened here recently.


----------



## Megashyguy

Really down and alone like I have no one to talk to .


----------



## Str

In need of a goal.


----------



## Crisigv

Weird, because I'm not working on a Sunday. But I still have to head to the mall later for our work Christmas dinner. So, not surprised.


----------



## momentsunset

Lost, and a bit lonely.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Feeling disorganized, lost and alone.


----------



## Crisigv

Awful. Why do my good days always have to be ruined.


----------



## The Library of Emma

Hyper. oh no.


----------



## kivi

Shocked. For once, I want to feel at peace here.


----------



## liverose

Frustrated, lonely, like a broken record. I thought I had friends, but now I'm worried that they were just people who I could make laugh at work and didn't mind drinking with me . . . and now I feel foolish for not understanding the difference.


----------



## rdrr

under the weather


----------



## waterfairy

Like ****.


----------



## zonebox

Just had some mock vegan eggnog, it tasted like crap.. added a bit of the good captain and he spiced things up. I'm feeling just fine now, oh yeah 

Think I might grab myself another cup.








​Things are pretty good my fellow sasers. Things are changing, but they always change, I never could stagnate for too long, without going bonkers, I've got my family, I'm optimistic about the future.. and I got a cup 'o veggienog with rum. I'm currently in the company of the finest people on the web, you all, and I'm happy.

So grab yerself a cup of the nog, add a bit of rum, and enjoy yourself as well. Pull up a chair to the table SAS, and enjoy the company of some spectacular people


----------



## Mc Borg

waterfairy said:


> Like ****.


----------



## AffinityWing

Irritated

Wish I had some nice headphones to drown out the whole world right now, because I'm pissed and tired of everyone and just want to get away into another plane of existence where it's just me, and no condescending *******s everywhere for the rest of time.


----------



## waterfairy

Mc Borg said:


>


----------



## novalax

Relived. Im going to graduate with honors and soon I will be kicking *** studying quantitative finance and economics.


----------



## AllTheSame

@novalax Wow. Damn...congratulations  That is awesome.

I'm feeling awesome. I have everything to look forward to now, short term and long term. Things seriously could not be going much ****** better right now. Thank the gods.

And yes, I know this won't last, but omg everything is going right, right now. For once. For once......in a long, loooooooong time.


----------



## novalax

@AllTheSame Thanks man! I'm excited for what the future holds, scholastically anyway.


----------



## Crisigv

Not good


----------



## Yer Blues

Spacey.

Trying to reset my sleeping schedule, so I haven't had much sleep in the past 48 hours. On the plus side, I do seem to be getting a bit of a light show in my brain.


----------



## thomasjune

Stressed out. Not enough alone time yet I've been feeling pretty good lately. Hopefully my positive attitude will last for at least the rest of this year.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Confused and depressed and alone


----------



## Neal

Thinking too much about how this weekend went. Its probably best I leave people alone.


----------



## Kevin001

Drained


----------



## kilgoretrout

Heart-numb, mind-numb, soul-numb.


----------



## Ai

Overwhelmed, a little blubbery. Since we live so far away from one another, my boyfriend had my Christmas gift shipped directly to my house; and I'm glad he invited me to open it early. Because my eyes are watering, and it's a little undignified for a prickly cactus such as myself... This is legitimately the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.



It's so reflective, it was difficult to get a decent photo of it (clicking on them links to a larger resolution.) The inscription says "You are All I See," a reference to the music that begins to play upon opening-- "You are Gold," by The National Parks. The song itself has personal significance, as it was, as he recalled at the time, what he was listening to when it first dawned on him how deeply he felt about me--which later prompted him to send it to me, with a mushy message.

I am a ridiculously sentimental person and gift-giver. Kid's got my number...

I am so touched.


----------



## funnynihilist

At some point you have to stop trying. What I mean is you have to give up on the dreams. For some people it ain't gonna happen..the sooner I come to peace with that the better.


----------



## Kevin001

Ok I guess, family getting on my nerves like always though. We are so complete opposites...ugh. I hope God makes them nicer to people.


----------



## Crisigv

Throat's been hurting since yesterday, so I'm getting sick. Probably going to be a bad cold, and it's always around Christmas time. I have such a long shift today too.


----------



## Nitrogen

Stir crazy :<


----------



## 812161

like an object of convenience.


----------



## Ai

Pleased. Ran some errands with my mother and decided to wear my new summery-print dress, with lace socks and a petticoat. I don't feel particularly cute very often. Got lots of compliments on my outfit (mostly from delighted old ladies... ) Then my mother decided to take pity on me and bought me some wine... I'm waiting for it to chill, so I can drink it while I wrap presents. 

The only downside is my doctor convinced me to get a flu-shot. I almost never do (I think I've gotten maybe...2... in my entire life?), but I thought, "What the hell? Why not? It won't cost me anything."

... I forgot about the part where it feels like I clothes-lined Godzilla for the rest of the day...

So. Um. Ouch.


----------



## HenDoggy

Ai said:


> Overwhelmed, a little blubbery. Since we live so far away from one another, my boyfriend had my Christmas gift shipped directly to my house; and I'm glad he invited me to open it early. Because my eyes are watering, and it's a little undignified for a prickly cactus such as myself... This is legitimately the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.
> 
> 
> 
> It's so reflective, it was difficult to get a decent photo of it (clicking on them links to a larger resolution.) The inscription says "You are All I See," a reference to the music that begins to play upon opening-- "You are Gold," by The National Parks. The song itself has personal significance, as it was, as he recalled at the time, what he was listening to when it first dawned on him how deeply he felt about me--which later prompted him to send it to me, with a mushy message.
> 
> I am a ridiculously sentimental person and gift-giver. Kid's got my number...
> 
> I am so touched.


Wow, now THATS a gift!!! He sure put a lot of thought into that. Sounds like a great guy. :wink2:


----------



## riverbird

Extremely overwhelmed. My whole family and a bunch of old friends are being so beyond supportive about me opening up about my depression and anxiety on Facebook. That should make me happy, and I guess part of me is. I don't do well with people being supportive of me, though. It makes me anxious.


----------



## Ai

HenDoggy said:


> Wow, now THATS a gift!!! He sure put a lot of thought into that. Sounds like a great guy. :wink2:


He really is :mushy I am crazy lucky.


----------



## Memories of Silence

I only went to sleep for about two hours, and I'm not even tired. My dog stayed awake all night, and all I could hear was his loud breathing, which sounded hard for him, and I was watching him wobble from side to side with his head down. One time, he nearly hit his face on the floor because he went over so far 

He's 12 and has heart failure, diabetes, knee problems and he went blind last year. Now he has something like kennel cough and sounds like he's choking on a furball. He's very weak and warm, not eating much and he won't walk around the house very far. We have to carry him. The vet said a few months ago that his heart was worse, but I thought there could still be a few years.

I don't even want to think about this, but I know it's the nicest thing we can do for him. He's going to the vet later, and I think today will be his last day. If it's not today, I know it's going to have to happen soon because we can't let him suffer.  I'm crying right now. This doesn't feel real. I thought May 7th, 2013 would be his last day, but he's still here more than three years later. I get so worried when my dogs have to go to the vet that I have to go to sleep just so I don't think about it, and if I'm awake, I cover my head with a pillow so I won't hear what my family are saying about it.

I hope he knows how much I love him and that I have enough photos of him.  The only pets I've lost were goldfish and sea monkeys. Before I had dogs, I used to wonder how anyone could have furry pets like dogs because I imagined how sad it would be whgen they died. Now I can't imagine being without them. I wish they could live until there is no one in the family left to look after them.

I've been trying to think things like "he seems better today", but I know he's not. He's a very happy dog and loves everyone, and it's sad to see him like this.


----------



## gtanil

I'm feeling rather cold. Not physically cold, no, cold from the inside. Can't even laugh anymore. It's like I died from the inside and am a shell of my former self. At least I feel physically.


----------



## Crisigv

Pathetic


----------



## Ai

@Silent Memory :heart :squeeze  I understand this feeling so much. We ended up needing to euthanize my 14-year-old dog, Lucky, in 2008. It was so difficult. We'd had her since I was 4. I couldn't even imagine a household without her in it. But she was in so much constant pain... her quality of life had plummeted. Ultimately, I know that it was the best thing we could have done for her. She lived a long and happy life, and I truly believe that she knew how much we loved her. I'm tearing up a little bit typing this.

It sounds like your dog understands this as well, judging by your final paragraph. The kindest thing you can do is just remind him, as much as possible, until it's his time to rest. I'm so sorry. :heart

The grief does soften, eventually. They leave our sides, but they never leave our hearts. With enough distance and healing, it gets much easier to cherish all of the wonderful memories we were so fortunate to have had with them.

:squeeze


----------



## naes

Silent Memory said:


> I only went to sleep for about two hours, and I'm not even tired. My dog stayed awake all night, and all I could hear was his loud breathing, which sounded hard for him, and I was watching him wobble from side to side with his head down. One time, he nearly hit his face on the floor because he went over so far
> 
> He's 12 and has heart failure, diabetes, knee problems and he went blind last year. Now he has something like kennel cough and sounds like he's choking on a furball. He's very weak and warm, not eating much and he won't walk around the house very far. We have to carry him. The vet said a few months ago that his heart was worse, but I thought there could still be a few years.
> 
> I don't even want to think about this, but I know it's the nicest thing we can do for him. He's going to the vet later, and I think today will be his last day. If it's not today, I know it's going to have to happen soon because we can't let him suffer.  I'm crying right now. This doesn't feel real. I thought May 7th, 2013 would be his last day, but he's still here more than three years later. I get so worried when my dogs have to go to the vet that I have to go to sleep just so I don't think about it, and if I'm awake, I cover my head with a pillow so I won't hear what my family are saying about it.
> 
> I hope he knows how much I love him and that I have enough photos of him.  The only pets I've lost were goldfish and sea monkeys. Before I had dogs, I used to wonder how anyone could have furry pets like dogs because I imagined how sad it would be whgen they died. Now I can't imagine being without them. I wish they could live until there is no one in the family left to look after them.
> 
> I've been trying to think things like "he seems better today", but I know he's not. He's a very happy dog and loves everyone, and it's sad to see him like this.


Lost 2 of my dogs since summer so I totally understand...it's heartbreaking...


----------



## roxslide

Silent Memory said:


> I only went to sleep for about two hours, and I'm not even tired. My dog stayed awake all night, and all I could hear was his loud breathing, which sounded hard for him, and I was watching him wobble from side to side with his head down. One time, he nearly hit his face on the floor because he went over so far
> 
> He's 12 and has heart failure, diabetes, knee problems and he went blind last year. Now he has something like kennel cough and sounds like he's choking on a furball. He's very weak and warm, not eating much and he won't walk around the house very far. We have to carry him. The vet said a few months ago that his heart was worse, but I thought there could still be a few years.
> 
> I don't even want to think about this, but I know it's the nicest thing we can do for him. He's going to the vet later, and I think today will be his last day. If it's not today, I know it's going to have to happen soon because we can't let him suffer.  I'm crying right now. This doesn't feel real. I thought May 7th, 2013 would be his last day, but he's still here more than three years later. I get so worried when my dogs have to go to the vet that I have to go to sleep just so I don't think about it, and if I'm awake, I cover my head with a pillow so I won't hear what my family are saying about it.
> 
> I hope he knows how much I love him and that I have enough photos of him.  The only pets I've lost were goldfish and sea monkeys. Before I had dogs, I used to wonder how anyone could have furry pets like dogs because I imagined how sad it would be whgen they died. Now I can't imagine being without them. I wish they could live until there is no one in the family left to look after them.
> 
> I've been trying to think things like "he seems better today", but I know he's not. He's a very happy dog and loves everyone, and it's sad to see him like this.


I teared up when reading this. It made me think of my cat and how I actually don't know what I would do without him. I really wish you and him the best.


----------



## funnynihilist

I'm always subconsciously planning for the day when I cut the cord to the internet. It's not a matter of if, but rather when it happens.
Not trying to be some edgy luddite but I do truly believe that the internet is de-evolving in many different ways.


----------



## burgerchuckie

Refreshed


----------



## Memories of Silence

Ai said:


> @Silent Memory I understand this feeling so much. We ended up needing to euthanize my 14-year-old dog, Lucky, in 2008. It was so difficult. We'd had her since I was 4. I couldn't even imagine a household without her in it. But she was in so much constant pain... her quality of life had plummeted. Ultimately, I know that it was the best thing we could have done for her. She lived a long and happy life, and I truly believe that she knew how much we loved her. I'm tearing up a little bit typing this.
> 
> It sounds like your dog understands this as well, judging by your final paragraph. The kindest thing you can do is just remind him, as much as possible, until it's his time to rest. I'm so sorry.
> 
> The grief does soften, eventually. They leave our sides, but they never leave our hearts. With enough distance and healing, it gets much easier to cherish all of the wonderful memories we were so fortunate to have had with them.
> 
> :squeeze


:squeeze I'm sorry to hear about Lucky  It must be very, very hard to lose a pet you've almost always had. :heart I think you can tell when it's time for them to go, and it was the best thing you could have done for her. I'm sure her long life was very happy and that she knew she was (and will always be) very loved.

We couldn't hold him much today because when he was held, he coughed a lot, so I layed on the floor with him under the Christmas tree, hugging him and rubbing his fur. I thought he had stopped breathing a few times when I was on the floor with him because it was like he collapsed. which was a sad feeling. He was very sick, and we knew it was time. My other dog knew something was happening, too. My parents went to the vet with him, and they're happy that it was very fast and he was peaceful and relaxed. It was his heart. The vet said it was very bad and that if he was human, he would have had to be on oxygen all the time.

His quality of life had slowly been getting worse, and the last few days made it feel llike it would be cruel to keep him alive because he wasn't enjoying life at all anymore.



roxslide said:


> I teared up when reading this. It made me think of my cat and how I actually don't know what I would do without him. I really wish you and him the best.


Thanks :squeeze I understand that  The house already feels empty without my dog, and I know I'm going to miss him a lot. It's hard to believe he's really gone. If I didn't have my other dog, I don't know what I would do. I could never be without a dog. 



naes said:


> Lost 2 of my dogs since summer so I totally understand...it's heartbreaking...


I'm sorry to hear about your dogs  :squeeze. Losing two pets close together in time like that would be horrible.


----------



## Crisigv

Sick, and sad.


----------



## Kevin001

I'm feeling sorry......sorry for my mom....she is so self-centered.


----------



## ghost dog

More confident than ever but lonely and bored.


----------



## Ai

Annoyed. It's bad enough my generation is frequently being accused of lazy, entitled behavior; that people are constantly demanding we "just go to college" if we don't want to claw fruitlessly at the poverty line while still maintaining 50+ hr work weeks... because... you know... The power of magic... But I legitimately just read someone (who I think may or may not own a local business) proudly proclaim on a community Facebook page that he would absolutely never, ever hire any of the "spoiled, entitled kids" that got a degree from my college... Because, you know, obviously I'm some lazy rich brat whose parents paid for me to party all week (or an intensely depressed, chronically poor person who worked her *** off to get accepted to an academically rigorous school because she was told that was her best bet and who's now 40,000 dollars in personal debt... but.. semantics... Can't fit that on an anti-millennials button.) Like 15 people liked it before the business owner seemed to wisen up and deleted it.

So if it's not fantastic enough that I'm a piece of **** no one wants to hire on the basis of my lack of experience and poor interview etiquette alone, I guess it's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation as far as even bothering to mention that I have a degree goes... Because it's, "GO TO COLLEGE, YOU LAZY TIT," but also "NO, WAIT, I DIDN'T MEAN _THAT_ COLLEGE... LOLOL STUPID ENTITLED MILLENNIAL." I think someone forgot to tell my town that it's actually possible to be working class _and_ not a pretentious, envious **** bag simultaneously...

**** everything and everyone.


----------



## ghost dog

Ai said:


> Annoyed. It's bad enough my generation is frequently being accused of lazy, entitled behavior; that people are constantly demanding we "just go to college" if we don't want to claw fruitlessly at the poverty line while still maintaining 50+ hr work weeks... because... you know... The power of magic... But I legitimately just read someone (who I think may or may not own a local business) proudly proclaim on a community Facebook page that he would absolutely never, ever hire any of the "spoiled, entitled kids" that got a degree from my college... Because, you know, obviously I'm some lazy rich brat whose parents paid for me to party all week (or an intensely depressed, chronically poor person who worked her *** off to get accepted to an academically rigorous school because she was told that was her best bet and who's now 40,000 dollars in personal debt... but.. semantics... Can't fit that on an anti-millennials button.) Like 15 people liked it before the business owner seemed to wisen up and deleted it.
> 
> So if it's not fantastic enough that I'm a piece of **** no one wants to hire on the basis of my lack of experience and poor interview etiquette alone, I guess it's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation as far as even bothering to mention that I have a degree goes... Because it's, "GO TO COLLEGE, YOU LAZY TIT," but also "NO, WAIT, I DIDN'T MEAN _THAT_ COLLEGE... LOLOL STUPID ENTITLED MILLENNIAL." I think someone forgot to tell my town that it's actually possible to be working class _and_ not a pretentious, envious **** bag simultaneously...
> 
> **** everything and everyone.


Sorry :/ You deserve respect for working hard. I guess you can argue: didn't they **** up the economy for us? Isn't it them who were entitled? I'd like to see them start from square 1 in the modern world and see how far they get.


----------



## Ai

ghost dog said:


> Sorry :/ You deserve respect for working hard. I guess you can argue: didn't they **** up the economy for us? Isn't it them who were entitled? I'd like to see them start from square 1 in the modern world and see how far they get.


Really no point in arguing with them. It never goes anywhere. And on a public forum like that, I'd just end up on more business owners' ****lists... :|


----------



## cosmicslop

Unproductive. We got gifted so many Trader Joe's confectioneries, and I've been eating it all. I've been thinking about taking daily jogs along the beach in the morning. So many people walk their dogs around that time.


----------



## ghost dog

Ai said:


> Really no point in arguing with them. It never goes anywhere. And on a public forum like that, I'd just end up on more business owners' ****lists... :|


Well don't worry what old people think


----------



## Ai

ghost dog said:


> Well don't worry what old people think


It's more the fact that, in a small town, they bitterly hold the key to my employment than them being old. Lol


----------



## discopotato

Overwhelmed


----------



## Kevin001

Tired and horny the usual at this time.


----------



## lackofflife

im scared my semester exams are next week...and i havent studied nor understood anything...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## afeerah

Restless, ashamed of laziness to not wanting to get up in morning, happy my social media profile formats and pictures are starting to meet my expectations, annoyed at this headache of dogs running away through door everytimr I open it, annoyed at fact everytime a higher smarter or disturbing authority is around me I have a hard time tolerating my annoyance


----------



## Kevin001

I'm ok just mad that I overslept, lol.


----------



## zonebox

I am so friqqen bored.. oh so bored.

Damn, I wish something exciting would happen.


----------



## TheGirlWithAllTheGifts

Like an idiot. Feels like I always screw up and do the wrong thing.


----------



## Carolyne

fat


----------



## DEDGE74

Tired of being bored with everything and lost.i don't know what to do.heeeeellp


----------



## DEDGE74

No drugs no booze just music that's how I feel


----------



## naes

Silent Memory said:


> :squeeze I'm sorry to hear about Lucky  It must be very, very hard to lose a pet you've almost always had. :heart I think you can tell when it's time for them to go, and it was the best thing you could have done for her. I'm sure her long life was very happy and that she knew she was (and will always be) very loved.
> 
> We couldn't hold him much today because when he was held, he coughed a lot, so I layed on the floor with him under the Christmas tree, hugging him and rubbing his fur. I thought he had stopped breathing a few times when I was on the floor with him because it was like he collapsed. which was a sad feeling. He was very sick, and we knew it was time. My other dog knew something was happening, too. My parents went to the vet with him, and they're happy that it was very fast and he was peaceful and relaxed. It was his heart. The vet said it was very bad and that if he was human, he would have had to be on oxygen all the time.
> 
> His quality of life had slowly been getting worse, and the last few days made it feel llike it would be cruel to keep him alive because he wasn't enjoying life at all anymore.
> 
> Thanks :squeeze I understand that  The house already feels empty without my dog, and I know I'm going to miss him a lot. It's hard to believe he's really gone. If I didn't have my other dog, I don't know what I would do. I could never be without a dog.
> 
> I'm sorry to hear about your dogs  :squeeze. Losing two pets close together in time like that would be horrible.


Thanks :hug. It had to be done.


----------



## AffinityWing

Miserable


----------



## Kevin001

Excited.....Santa will be here soon!


----------



## ghost dog

AffinityWing said:


> Miserable


You're not allowed to be miserable on christmas


----------



## 812161

Holiday suicide rates. Glad to hear it's a myth..doesn't feel like one.

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/suicide/holiday.html


----------



## AffinityWing

ghost dog said:


> You're not allowed to be miserable on christmas


It's hard not to be with this kind of family around and the way I keep living. I thought Christmas was my favorite holiday but now I realized holidays have made me almost nothing but depressed and cry these past few years, even my
birthday. I cried just last night because being in a dark room alone with such thoughts has been one of the worst things to do when I feel like such ****. Although I couldn't go downstairs either because my family was too loud and I've felt unwanted in this house a long time ago (but that's beyond me because I detest everyone in it, just the same.)


----------



## naes

AffinityWing said:


> Miserable


I hope you feel better. Christmas is about hoping and believing, and I hope you feel better


----------



## TryingMara

Feeling like I have the flu


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling awesome, feeling loved, feeling blessed. Think I'm gonna watch the Broncos v Chiefs game. Then maybe binge on Stranger Things. I never did finish season one.


----------



## AffinityWing

naes said:


> I hope you feel better. Christmas is about hoping and believing, and I hope you feel better


Thanks, maybe I won't this year but hopefully the next. (Or the next will just further prove it is getting worse...) I don't have much left to hope for because I've only thought about how perpetually screwed I'll be because of SA for a long while now, but I want some sort of optimism back in my life.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Depressed over having no one to visit for the holidays and how my life is going nowhere. I want to find another room to rent first before I find new jobs, but even that is difficult because of all the crazies around here. I can't help but feel hopeless. I also don't want to go to work tonight. I don't want to work at all...for a long time at least. I need a break from this routine and the fake mask I have to wear for work all the time.


----------



## zonebox

If I were to take the queues of society in general to heart, I should be feeling a lot of things. I don't put much weight into that though, so instead of feeling that way, I'm feeling pretty good right now. Slightly intoxicated, slightly reflective, a bit skeptical, adventurous, appreciative, empathic, and I suppose chilly, because I have the A/C blasting on me. I'm most definitely feeling defiant, that is my defacto standard of living.

I'm not following the guideline of how I am supposed to be feeling right now, this is blaspheme! 

I don't follow the guidelines, I don't let the standards determine what I am feeling. Ah, here we go, that defiance playing in, that bit 'o fight in me. 

I'm feeling good right now, out of spec, and good.


----------



## naes

AffinityWing said:


> Thanks, maybe I won't this year but hopefully the next. (Or the next will just further prove it is getting worse...) I don't have much left to hope for because I've only thought about how perpetually screwed I'll be because of SA for a long while now, but I want some sort of optimism back in my life.


I know that feeling... I was feeling suicidal with constant panic attacks for almost a week straight a couple of days ago... It can be extremely hard to be positive with this type of condition at times, but life doesn't stay the same forever fortunately. We just have to find a way to keep our hopes high, even if it all seems like a delusion at times. We have the future to look forward to with all sorts of possibilities. I don't know what lays ahead, but I believe with the right attitude we can endure and that their is hope. I will be believing in you just like I believe in the future, because if I don't then what else is there left to believe in?


----------



## naes

DEDGE74 said:


> Tired of being bored with everything and lost.i don't know what to do.heeeeellp


Find fun stuff to do. Entertain yourself with games and the computer and learning about stuff that interests you and exercising and joining clubs, getting a job, and so on. I wish I could have told myself all these things when I was younger. It's such simple advice but yeah, you just have to force yourself to do the things you want. The future is what you make of it, and it sure won't be boring if you follow the advice i just listed.


----------



## naes

zonebox said:


> If I were to take the queues of society in general to heart, I should be feeling a lot of things. I don't put much weight into that though, so instead of feeling that way, I'm feeling pretty good right now. Slightly intoxicated, slightly reflective, a bit skeptical, adventurous, appreciative, empathic, and I suppose chilly, because I have the A/C blasting on me. I'm most definitely feeling defiant, that is my defacto standard of living.
> 
> I'm not following the guideline of how I am supposed to be feeling right now, this is blaspheme!
> 
> I don't follow the guidelines, I don't let the standards determine what I am feeling. Ah, here we go, that defiance playing in, that bit 'o fight in me.
> 
> I'm feeling good right now, out of spec, and good.


I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better than when you posted earlier on this thread


----------



## Kevin001

Woke up with a super dry throat...ugh.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Worried.


----------



## Overdrive

Supaa great !


----------



## SplendidBob

Pretty terrible truth be told. House of cards came crashing down like I thought it would and don't have the energy to rebuild it. 

I have also become way too reliant on one person for my emotional support and needs, and that rug I am pretty sure just got pulled out from under me. Or if it didn't (and maybe it didn't) I feel too vulnerable placing that kind of reliance on one person. It's a recipe for a ****ing disaster further down the line. 

I always struggle this time of year, but the above, plus the collapse of the improvements I have made this year, and it isn't pretty atm. I also took the advice of my therapist and it spectacularly backfired, despite it being totally against my own best judgement. Obviously its fine for her to just throw out advice because the consequences don't have any impact on her. It makes me doubt her ability in every other respect (really, should she be giving out advice on disordered eating if she has no understanding of it?). She doesn't have any understanding of sleep disorders either, evidently, or OCD. And it doesn't seem like she has been actually listening to me (and completely disregarding my own capabilities to have understanding of these issues, which isn't insignificant). At any rate, I doubt the NHS will fund the therapy long enough anyway so it's probably not going to matter much.

But yeh. Toying putting myself back on moclobemide again, as that might help in a small way and i have a few weeks of an old supply left. Can get it prescribed again from my GP. 

I will be fine in a couple of months, as always. Will struggle on doing what I can for now I suppose.

Sorry for the slightly uncharacteristic rant SAS  - kinda felt I needed an outlet


----------



## naes

splendidbob said:


> Pretty terrible truth be told. House of cards came crashing down like I thought it would and don't have the energy to rebuild it.
> 
> I have also become way too reliant on one person for my emotional support and needs, and that rug I am pretty sure just got pulled out from under me. Or if it didn't (and maybe it didn't) I feel too vulnerable placing that kind of reliance on one person. It's a recipe for a ****ing disaster further down the line.
> 
> I always struggle this time of year, but the above, plus the collapse of the improvements I have made this year, and it isn't pretty atm. I also took the advice of my therapist and it spectacularly backfired, despite it being totally against my own best judgement. Obviously its fine for her to just throw out advice because the consequences don't have any impact on her. It makes me doubt her ability in every other respect (really, should she be giving out advice on disordered eating if she has no understanding of it?). She doesn't have any understanding of sleep disorders either, evidently, or OCD. And it doesn't seem like she has been actually listening to me (and completely disregarding my own capabilities to have understanding of these issues, which isn't insignificant). At any rate, I doubt the NHS will fund the therapy long enough anyway so it's probably not going to matter much.
> 
> But yeh. Toying putting myself back on moclobemide again, as that might help in a small way and i have a few weeks of an old supply left. Can get it prescribed again from my GP.
> I will be fine in a couple of months, as always. Will struggle on doing what I can for now I suppose.
> 
> Sorry for the slightly uncharacteristic rant SAS  - kinda felt I needed an outlet


Hey man it is totally ok to let out your feelings, especially here lol.


----------



## ghost dog

SamanthaStrange said:


> Worried.


same


----------



## unemployment simulator

really struggling, this christmas I have either been working, or walking miles across town with a heavy rucksack with all my belongings from b&b to hotel, to my flat or sitting around watching mind numbing tv. my neighbour is still harassing me and is refusing to leave, i'm pretty sure he is also now stealing my post. i spent christmas alone in hotels due to a combination of social anxiety, a neighbour from hell, no public transport and demands from my job.
the low point was looking down at a plate of dry crackers for my christmas meal this year and a microwavable pudding for one...


----------



## Ai

Indifferent. It is now officially my birthday. The one friend who expressed any interest at all in celebrating with me cancelled. So it's just another day, I guess.



splendidbob said:


> Pretty terrible truth be told. House of cards came crashing down like I thought it would and don't have the energy to rebuild it.
> 
> I have also become way too reliant on one person for my emotional support and needs, and that rug I am pretty sure just got pulled out from under me. Or if it didn't (and maybe it didn't) I feel too vulnerable placing that kind of reliance on one person. It's a recipe for a ****ing disaster further down the line.
> 
> I always struggle this time of year, but the above, plus the collapse of the improvements I have made this year, and it isn't pretty atm. I also took the advice of my therapist and it spectacularly backfired, despite it being totally against my own best judgement. Obviously its fine for her to just throw out advice because the consequences don't have any impact on her. It makes me doubt her ability in every other respect (really, should she be giving out advice on disordered eating if she has no understanding of it?). She doesn't have any understanding of sleep disorders either, evidently, or OCD. And it doesn't seem like she has been actually listening to me (and completely disregarding my own capabilities to have understanding of these issues, which isn't insignificant). At any rate, I doubt the NHS will fund the therapy long enough anyway so it's probably not going to matter much.
> 
> But yeh. Toying putting myself back on moclobemide again, as that might help in a small way and i have a few weeks of an old supply left. Can get it prescribed again from my GP.
> 
> I will be fine in a couple of months, as always. Will struggle on doing what I can for now I suppose.
> 
> Sorry for the slightly uncharacteristic rant SAS  - kinda felt I needed an outlet


 Is it possible to find another therapist, or is it essentially a "you get what you get, and if you don't like it, pay for it yourself" type of deal?

I'm sorry you're struggling. :squeeze I know I've not been around as much, but you're welcome to PM me any time, even if you just need some idle chat to feel better. Mindless babbling is my specialty.


----------



## Kevin001

Sick, God I hope I'm better tomorrow.


----------



## SplendidBob

Ai said:


> Indifferent. It is now officially my birthday. The one friend who expressed any interest at all in celebrating with me cancelled. So it's just another day, I guess.


Ah, well happy birthday 



Ai said:


> Is it possible to find another therapist, or is it essentially a "you get what you get, and if you don't like it, pay for it yourself" type of deal?


That is pretty much it. But, in fairness, that was also a madness inspired rant  - she has been the most useful therapist I have seen, but when my brain goes crazy, erm, yeh, I get a bit weird. The worst part is, I probably actually manage to censor the madness somewhat when I post here, so, yeh :lol



Ai said:


> I'm sorry you're struggling. :squeeze I know I've not been around as much, but you're welcome to PM me any time, even if you just need some idle chat to feel better. Mindless babbling is my specialty.


Thanks  I might well do that. Oh, I think its my turn to reply to your pm anyway, I have been the one slacking.


----------



## Crisigv

Meh


----------



## 812161

Spent and done...time is running out for something to make life worthwhile.


----------



## spotlessmind90

Meh, should be sleeping, but am not tired, so meh.


----------



## Xenagos

I just want to fade away.


----------



## Kevin001

Sick....nose stuffy af, coughing, head hurts, eyes bloodshot, and voice is faint.


----------



## sad1231234

Terrible


----------



## Kevin001

Awful still....fml.


----------



## kivi

Annoyed. It's so bad outside, snow closed the roads and I can hardly walk outside to buy water and food (it's not even that far away). I don't know if buses can reach the bus stops here, I have to climb a ramp to see but I'm sure I'll slide and fall if I try. Also tomorrow's lessons are canceled. I'm trapped here and I feel so bored.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Frustrated, impatient, disappointed....


----------



## shortcake

Kinda nervous :|


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## kivi

Angry because of clingy people.


----------



## Kevin001

Sick...ugh.


----------



## lackofflife

exams are coming im feeling like ****....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i am about ready to slit some throats.


----------



## TryingMara

Eh. My head hurts and it feels like my heart is beating too fast. Overall, I've been feeling off lately.


----------



## Crisigv

Feet are restless and sore.


----------



## tea111red

i'm feeling (and looking) FAT and bloated.


----------



## SplendidBob

I just lost the relationship with the person that made my last year worth living. Sadder than I have been for a very long time.


----------



## SofaKing

splendidbob said:


> I just lost the relationship with the person that made my last year worth living. Sadder than I have been for a very long time.


I know that hurt....hang in there, man.


----------



## littleghost

splendidbob said:


> I just lost the relationship with the person that made my last year worth living. Sadder than I have been for a very long time.


Sorry to hear that.:frown2:


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling a bit lonely at the moment.


----------



## SplendidBob

SofaKing said:


> I know that hurt....hang in there, man.





littleghost said:


> Sorry to hear that.:frown2:


These kinds of comments don't seem like much but they are surprisingly helpful, so I appreciate it, ty


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Sick to my stomach.


----------



## andrew141

Really sad and lonely


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## zonebox

Drinking a few beers, enjoying the night, playing on a private wow server, listening to Metallica.








My mother in law is here, so I have retreated to my bedroom. Don't you just love my bin, with pillows on top for a seat, my cheapo walmart desk, and a nextbook! :lol I have my beers in a boiling pot, with some a piece of plastic covering it, and you can see my empties lining the wall on my concrete slab of a floor. I plan on painting that, one day.

An image to surely scare most people, and send them running to the hills! I am doing pretty good though.


----------



## kivi

Very angry and I feel like throwing up.


----------



## Revenwyn

Confused. 2016 was both my worst and best year.


----------



## 629753

Terrible. Get my mind out of this jail


----------



## cuppy

I am sad because I found out my dad spent the New Year countdown all alone. His whole family went out (including me) and I feel terrible :c


----------



## Fledgling

Quite nostalgic. It always gets me when the new year hits.


----------



## Revenwyn




----------



## Kevin001

I'm feeling ok, better than the last few days.


----------



## 629753

TheGirlWithAllTheGifts said:


> Like an idiot. Feels like I always screw up and do the wrong thing.


me 2. I cant stop ****ing up.


----------



## whereistheoffswitch

I'm feeling that 2017 will be just as ****e as the previous years but hoping it will be better


----------



## TwerkinForTalos

Scared, suddenly very alone, and anxious about my choices and options.


----------



## AllTheSame

I'm feeling good, but sorry I had to drop my kids back off at their moms. Ffs. Smh. I parked and they pounded on the door for a full three minutes before they got an answer, got her to unlock it. This is after the usual text from my kids letting her know we were on our way for me to drop them off after my visitation. This is really kind of embarrassing for me to admit but the house just looked horrible. It was 6:00pm today when I dropped them off and there were still packages of fireworks on top of her car from last night, empty beer cans on her car, ffs woman, have some dignity, have some goddamn self respect. Omg I take our kids for the weekend for NYE and you obviously get drunk with one of the neighbors, or one of your bfs, you're slow as hell answering the door even though you know your kids are coming home. The yard is overgrown. Goddammit that house never looked like that when I was there. The gutters are full, full of leaves so much they don't even work anymore. I pickup up the newspaper from today, and from last Sunday. I don't even go inside (we're divorced) but ffs, you can just tell from the outside the house isn't being taken care of....it's obvious. And I remember, when I was living there, either I took care of things or it didn't get done. She won't take care of things. And this is just more proof...she's not taking care of things. I don't think she's even taking care of herself right now. How dafuhk do you take care of three teenagers if you can't take care of yourself? You had better, better be on your game, you had better not blink, if you're in charge of a 16 year old girl, and 13 year old girl / boy twins. You'd better be wide awake, and she is just asleep at the wheel right now.

I've seen her get like this before a few times when we were still married but now she's really let herself go. She's not even the same woman I married and I'm honestly sorry my kids have to call her mom sometimes, I really am.


----------



## cuppy

TwerkinForTalos said:


> Scared, suddenly very alone, and anxious about my choices and options.


:wel Welcome to SAS!


----------



## JohnDoe99

I feel really gloomy. I don't know what triggered the feeling. Maybe it was all that creepypasta nonsense I was watching. Then I heard my mom crying in her room with my dad in it with her. I guess my dad said something that really upset my mom. I watched the movie Central Intelligence, and I guess I forgot about my feelings. But then I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, which made me remember that I am so buttugly. Sometimes I feel what's the point of living if you are ugly. I have nothing against "ugly" people (I believe there is beauty in everyone), but I feel so limited because of my appearance. I can't be in movies, in advertisements. I can barely look alright in a lousy photo. I just want to be attractive. I know looks don't matter, but at the same time they do. A whole lot...I am just rambling here.


----------



## Revenwyn

Sad. I'm a widow and most days I'm ok, especially since I'm in a great relationship with my best friend and soulmate now, but occasionally grief will just hit me like a truck. Not necessarily because I lost my husband even, but more because the mental image of how my husband looked during his last day haunts me.


----------



## tea111red

i'm back to having suicidal thoughts and i kind of hope i just keep getting pushed over the edge.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

:sigh  :hug


----------



## 629753

tea111red said:


> i'm back to having suicidal thoughts and i kind of hope i just keep getting pushed over the edge.


me too, cant stop thinking about them, i might do something one day


----------



## Crisigv

feeling worthless, pointless and stupid


----------



## funnynihilist

Feeling like everything is a scam. Like all of life is a scam.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired, my sickness is much better though.


----------



## Revenwyn

Sad. Tired. Afraid to go to sleep because I'm afraid that the image of my late husband as he lay there dying will haunt my sleep all night again.


----------



## i suck at life

tired


----------



## Ghossts

Suicidal


----------



## lackofflife

Ghossts said:


> Suicidal


same
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## vanilla90

I'm excited for Trainspotting 2. Having a hard time starting some incredibly important university work. Maybe a silver lining in my life is that possibly I have a thyroid issue and that's the reason for my apathy towards 99% of things. Or I'm just lazy. Probably lazy.


----------



## Cheesycreature

Sad, lonely and tired. Rei keeps me going though.


----------



## thomasjune

A bit tired but I feel good right now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## copper

Arthritis is real bad today. I can't hardly walk. My legs are killing me. Be glad when this strong low pressure gets out if here.


----------



## Depo

I feel good and excited. I dislike my job (general practitioner) because I have to talk to people who are sick. I don't have a problem with that, but I entered medicine expecting to end up in a specialty that doesn't require a lot of human contact, because I dislike being around people very much (I'm pretty much a loner and proud of it.). I don't hate people, it just nags me to be around them. I also chose medicine because you don't have to take orders or work with other people if you have your own private office, but still.

Now my dream will come true because in less than 2 months I'll enter a Diagnostic Radiology residency program. I can't wait to throw away my stethoscope! :boogie No more crying babies, noisy children, grouchy grandpas, snide middle-aged women!!!! :banana I feel all warm and fuzzy and a little bit nervous. It's not like you learn much about radiology in the common medical doctor career. So I'll have to learn a lot of new things, but what the heck. :b


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

I'm feeling better than I was last night. Last night I had so much pressure going to me, I was sad and scared. It went on for hours and after I went to bed, I had more sad thoughts coming to my head so then something I thought and I just began to cry. It only took about a half hour to get it all out, I cried so much that my eyes were beating like a heart in the end. After that, I fell asleep.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Grumpy. :bah


----------



## tea111red

i feel like my life is really going to end w/ me killing myself. i don't even really believe things can get better anymore.


----------



## Nitrogen

I feel like absolute ****


----------



## humblelulu

I feel...like i should be doing more right now


----------



## Awkto Awktavious

Tired, Sad, Unmotivated


----------



## Crisigv

tea111red said:


> i feel like my life is really going to end w/ me killing myself. i don't even really believe things can get better anymore.


 :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> i feel like my life is really going to end w/ me killing myself. i don't even really believe things can get better anymore.


Please no.  :hug


----------



## tea111red

the cheat said:


> I am right there with you. I constantly have to imagine my families reaction to me doing that...it's been that way for a long time. But now, not even the fear of ruining my family is working.
> 
> I'm very sorry you're in such despair. I hope you find peace somehow.


well, it'd be easy for me to do it because no irl cares about me. i've already attempted before and no one really cared that much, either (i did not feel that cared for anyway). before i did it my mom said no one cares about me (also that i should kill myself) and she's told me this many times, too. a lot of other crap is going on right now and i am just so overwhelmed. i feel like i'm suffocating.....i can barely cope. i don't have people to help me irl, either. it's just so overwhelming and i feel like i just want out of this life pretty strongly now thinking about things. i don't want to do it, but i just feel like i may have no choice if i end up struggling even more.

i'm sorry you are hurting, too. i hope you get out of the bad place you're in as well.



Crisigv said:


> :squeeze





ANX1 said:


> Please no.  :hug


thanks for caring, both of you....it helps get me through...at least now.


----------



## AllTheSame

tea111red said:


> i feel like my life is really going to end w/ me killing myself. i don't even really believe things can get better anymore.


I'm sorry  I hope you feel better, I hope the feelings pass. They usually do with me. I get into that frame of mind sometimes and I just try to get through it....and distraction sometimes helps me. Or, trying to talk it out.


----------



## tea111red

AllTheSame said:


> I'm sorry  I hope you feel better, I hope the feelings pass. They usually do with me. I get into that frame of mind sometimes and I just try to get through it....and distraction sometimes helps me. Or, trying to talk it out.


yeah.....i will wait a bit to see if i can feel a little more hopeful or come up w/ some kind of plan or whatever, but i am getting worked up (i'm very upset, actually) thinking about struggling even more and by myself. it's hard....

thanks for the support.....i appreciate it.


----------



## tea111red

i'm really tired, too. i don't even feel like i have much more energy to struggle in life. i really feel like i'm going to give out physically a lot of the time. i've got a horrible headache from crying now also.


----------



## AllTheSame

tea111red said:


> i'm really tired, too. i don't even feel like i have much more energy to struggle in life. i really feel like i'm going to give out physically a lot of the time. i've got a horrible headache from crying now also.


What's going on? I saw a couple of your posts but why are you having to worry about being on the street ffs??


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> thanks for caring, both of you....it helps get me through...at least now.


You're welcome. :hug 

Sounds like you are being emotionally abused by family (projecting their problems onto you, so think of it as their problems and what they say has less effect emotionally). Also try to keep away from them as much as possible and try to get more positive life experiences in your life (go to park and feed swans, ducks, etc). You'll find it makes life easier to deal with. 



tea111red said:


> i'm really tired, too. i don't even feel like i have much more energy to struggle in life. i really feel like i'm going to give out physically a lot of the time. i've got a horrible headache from crying now also.


Sounds like haven't got over those sleep problems you mentioned in the past. :sigh


----------



## tea111red

AllTheSame said:


> What's going on? I saw a couple of your posts but why are you having to worry about being on the street ffs??


eh...don't want to get too much into that story right now. i just hope whatever happens, i can survive.


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> You're welcome. :hug
> 
> Sounds like you are being emotionally abused by family (projecting their problems onto you, so think of it as their problems and what they say has less effect emotionally). Also try to keep away from them as much as possible and try to get more positive life experiences in your life (go to park and feed swans, ducks, etc). You'll find it makes life easier to deal with.
> 
> Sounds like haven't got over those sleep problems you mentioned in the past. :sigh


oh yeah....my family has definitely had our issues and has been/is dysfunctional. my family situation has always seemed very messed up to me. i definitely have been doing the avoiding thing for most of my life. i just really couldn't survive being in my family if i didn't. i would have gone even more crazy.

yeah, i definitely need better life experiences. there's been a lot of negative ones...

also, yeah.....still have sleeping problems. once in awhile i'll sleep decently...i guess i relish the times when i do.

thank you for your post.....it helped me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

You're welcome. :hug


----------



## TwerkinForTalos

Strange. And a little guilty but that's unrelated.


----------



## discopotato

exhausted


----------



## Zozulya

Tired and spacing out. Feel also a bit stupid.


----------



## tea111red

i want to be hugged.


----------



## Kevin001

tea111red said:


> i want to be hugged.


:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

Not happy


----------



## ThatGuy11200

Like crap. After more than a week of intense study and revision, I just looked back at the past exam papers and there are concepts I've never even heard of.

The last month has been so stressful. Dealing with the emotional and social consequences of a disasterous crush, an incredibly comlicated and stressful assignment that had to be done for the 23rd December, and study/revision since Christmas for the exam next Friday.

I'm just about ready to call it quits on everything.


----------



## tea111red

Kevin001 said:


> :squeeze:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze


thank you


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> i want to be hugged.


 :hug



Crisigv said:


> Not happy


 :hug


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> :hug


thank you


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> thank you


You're welcome. :hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely and restless.


----------



## Zatch

Like she doesn't just want me, but she needs me. And I'm not there.

If there's a suitable word for it I can't think of it right now.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

SamanthaStrange said:


> Lonely and restless.


Sorry to hear you feel like that. :squeeze I like you're avatar.


----------



## tea111red

bored.


----------



## sad1231234

Irratated, its like i can hardly ever relax in life


----------



## Revenwyn

I'm depressed. I miss my fiance so much. I hate long distance relationships. But I tried to forget about him once before. I couldn't. I only "moved on" to meet my now-late husband when I had been told my first love was dead. And when I found out that he wasn't? I had to have him back in my life even though I was married.

So when my husband became terminally ill, I already knew who I wanted. I am not even interested in looking. But this distance, California to Colorado, sucks.

I last saw him December 17th. Before this trip where I saw him December 9th, I hadn't seen him since July 2nd. And we're both unemployed right now, me because my depression and anxiety have gotten the better of me, so I don't know when I'll see him again.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

The Condition of Keegan said:


> Sorry to hear you feel like that. :squeeze I like you're avatar.


Thanks.


----------



## Kevin001

Cold I can't deal.


----------



## funnynihilist

Kevin001 said:


> Cold I can't deal.


Me neither. 12 degrees now. I can't stand it.


----------



## funnynihilist

Feeling pretty low right now


----------



## Kevin001

funnynihilist said:


> Me neither. 12 degrees now. I can't stand it.


:O

I would die, lol.

Its 25 here.


----------



## Mc Borg

Upset and uncivil.


----------



## twistix

funnynihilist said:


> Feeling pretty low right now


:hug ...me too


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Goodness me, I feel like **** all of a sudden. Just.. really agitated. A little dissociative. There's a fuzzy ball of despair in my chest. I don't like it. Maybe it's my blood pressure, and just in case it is, I'll go and drink some water...


----------



## burgerchuckie

Relaxed. This song I'm listening is so soothing.


----------



## roats44862

Absolutely awful. For the past few months I've been feeling a lot better, haven't even visited here for ages. But now I keep getting random days where I wake up feeling as bad as I did back when I was seriously depressed. Today is one of those days.


----------



## Citrine79

Been miserable the past few days, think I have seasonal affective disorder on top of everything else. It has snowed a bit or there has been a threat of it here for about the past week along with temps in the teens for the past 3 days. Snow makes me miserable and I hate looking at it. Plus I have my usualy Sunday night spike in anxiety for the upcoming work week.


----------



## SplendidBob

Surprisingly not too bad considering. Something of a worrying deadline in 24 hours.


----------



## Azazello

splendidbob said:


> Surprisingly not too bad considering. Something of a worrying deadline in 24 hours.


----------



## SplendidBob

@Azazello ty


----------



## tea111red

relieved to finally get to be alone.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Annoyed, and I have a headache. :bah


----------



## tea111red

enjoying this solitude....i feel like i can be more relaxed.


----------



## Wolfology

Stressed with uni work, and procrastinating on this forum.


----------



## Ai

Annoying, unwanted, burdensome. I get the sense that my mother doesn't want me around anymore, but she'd never come out and say it. If ever asked, she "wants me here" and I "don't have to worry about anything." But, lately, she's been uncharacteristically mean to me for no reason. The other day, she called me a "dumb sh**" (I was stunned). And when I reminded her that she said she was going to pay me back the money my dad gave me for Christmas and that she had unceremoniously taken from me, she sneered back that I "owe [her] at least five year's rent."

So, no. She doesn't resent or hate me at all. I'm just imagining it.

I wish I wasn't such a ****ing useless loser. I would get out of everyone's hair forever.


----------



## RileyG

anxious, exhausted and alone...


----------



## tea111red

thinking about how i can't/don't meet other people's standards and am not the kind of person people prefer is making me feel horrible. i feel like i have no choice but to be isolated.


----------



## Crisigv

Have a headache


----------



## noydb

Stressed


----------



## AllTheSame

Tired. I got a lot done today though. Studied up on new product line at work this morning, called tech support for an issue I was having with conference calls, did a conference call with my boss and new team members, made first-time sales calls for new product at a few brand new stores. I bought another pair of slacks and two new dress shirts and dropped them at the dry cleaners. Then did a couple of sales calls for my old boss. Then came home and printed out what I need to take with me to the meeting later this week.

My boss called me to talk for a few minutes before the conference call. She's trying to make things less casual, trying to open up communication between us and that was really awesome. I think the meeting we're having out of town Wednesday is a good idea. Me and two of the other women on my team are going to go from the airport to lunch, then to the hotel. Yeah I'm a little anxious, but I can do this. It will give us a chance to get to know each other a little bit. I think that's one of the main reasons we're flying from all over the place to meet up....to get to know each other and to get some level of trust there. You can't do that just through phone conversations, not in the same way.


----------



## momentsunset

Sad. I hate that I'm super aware of all of my problems, want to fix them, but can't, and most of the time it comes down to not having enough money.


----------



## SofaKing

AllTheSame said:


> You can't do that just through phone conversations, not in the same way.


Absolutely...I'm leading a new team and I'm in Philly as we speak on business at our HQ to start working with the team and other stakeholders.

We're very globalized with teams in the US and India using Skype, GoToMeeting, etc., heavily, but there really is no substitute for face to face.

I'm likely to relocate here...I don't know that I can lead the team at a distance when it's just being formed.


----------



## AllTheSame

SofaKing said:


> Absolutely...I'm leading a new team and I'm in Philly as we speak on business at our HQ to start working with the team and other stakeholders.
> 
> We're very globalized with teams in the US and India using Skype, GoToMeeting, etc., heavily, but there really is no substitute for face to face.
> 
> I'm likely to relocate here...I don't know that I can lead the team at a distance when it's just being formed.


Yeah, I agree. Relocating has got to be tough. I don't think my job will ask me to do that, but hey you never know.

It was tough for us to all get flights that arrived at the same time in this city because our new boss didn't give us much notice (all this was not planned out very well, in some ways). There are only four of us but we have people coming from California, from New York.....all over. When our boss got our flight plans, our itinerary she was like, "You guys have time before the meeting, go out, go to lunch together, expense it, get to know each other and I'll see you at the hotel at 5:00pm". And that sort of received a pretty lame, lackluster response lmao. But yeah we do need to get to know each other. Once we get past the getting to know each other phase things will be a lot easier. Unfortunately yeah there is no substitute for meeting face to face. Good luck to you in Philly, hope it goes well, man.


----------



## tea111red

finally feel more hopeful about accomplishing something. i spent 6 yrs feeling nearly hopeless and like i'd have to be haunted for the rest of my life. hopefully i can stay hopeful.


----------



## Ai

Annoyed, but relieved. It's been over a month since my useless GP's office finally agreed to refer me to an actual endocrinologist. Every time I mustered up the courage to call, they "hadn't gotten around to it yet." So irritating. I hate them with a blinding fury. FINALLY, however, they got back to me this afternoon to inform me that they've gotten me an appointment with a specialist in a neighboring city.

Maybe I will actually be under the care of someone who listens and knows what they're talking about now. Maybe.

Sigh.


----------



## twistix

Discouraged. Trying to be helpful & productive but being received like I'm just a nuisance.


----------



## Zatch

Horny for cuddles. What's that called? Amorous? Kittenish?

Whatever it is, need snugglemoopkins.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> finally feel more hopeful about accomplishing something. i spent 6 yrs feeling nearly hopeless and like i'd have to be haunted for the rest of my life. hopefully i can stay hopeful.


 :squeeze



Ai said:


> Annoyed, but relieved. It's been over a month since my useless GP's office finally agreed to refer me to an actual endocrinologist. Every time I mustered up the courage to call, they "hadn't gotten around to it yet." So irritating. I hate them with a blinding fury. FINALLY, however, they got back to me this afternoon to inform me that they've gotten me an appointment with a specialist in a neighboring city.
> 
> Maybe I will actually be under the care of someone who listens and knows what they're talking about now. Maybe.
> 
> Sigh.


Good luck.


----------



## Ai

SamanthaStrange said:


> Good luck.


Thanks!


----------



## Wanderlust26

I'm pretty disappointed in myself over how I've been handling my money. I used to be very disciplined but these days, I only find relief from stress through spending. I used to come into work with the flu just to make that money and I used to work 40 hours a week for the graveyard shift. Now, 4 days still feel like a lot and I call out just because I'm feeling depressed.


----------



## Crisigv

My feet and hands feel like they're going to fall off.


----------



## funnynihilist

Jeff271 said:


> I'm ok, not sure what to do for breakfast.


Hope you had pancakes or a waffle! That's what I always want.


----------



## kivi

I'm so happy and hopeful right now. (University related thing)


----------



## Zatch

Mildly drunk. Boring night. Ready to go home and rest or play video games.


----------



## SofaKing

Nervous and alone.


----------



## tea111red

i'm so nervous at the thought of having to talk to these people again, even if they don't remember me. i don't even know where to start, either.


----------



## BeautyStale

Nervous, have some cousins that're going to visit very soon. Not sure how this'll all go down, but facing my fears would be the best course of action at this point.


----------



## SofaKing

Exhausted, confused, and frustrated. I hate making big decisions in a hurry...hate it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@*SamanthaStrange*

:hug

@*tea111red*

Tried a jigsaw puzzle? Played Solitare?

To not be bored?

@*Revenwyn*

You have been through a lot. I hoping things turn out for the best (crossing fingers) and this is only a rough spot in your life.

@*roats44862*

Need to do something to get your life moving forward. I noticed I felt depressed when my life stalled (not moving forward).

@*Citrine79*

Sorry to hear. 

@*tea111red*

I wish great things to happen to you in your life.

@*tea111red*

A feeling that most people with SA have in common.

@*Crisigv*

:hug

I know we have chatted about this in the past, but rub back muscles between spine, shoulder blades, as they tend to tense up when have a headache. Also put glasses on. Good buckwheat pillow helps too, to keep head supported when sleeping (herad, neck not supported = those muscles I mentioned are sore, get a headache).

@*noydb*

:hug

Tried distraction?

@*AllTheSame*

You can do it mate. 

@*momentsunset*

Another easy job like a paper run as one example? Some have more than one job.

@*tea111red*

Can do nearly anything you put your mind to. You can do it. 



Ai said:


> ...................


I hope it works out for you and you feel better. 

@*twistix*

I learnt that there is a time and place to help people. Try reading peoples moods, what they like, don't like via observation when they interact with others.

@*Wanderlust26*

Put a small amount of money in another bank account via automatic payment. A bank account you don't touch.

@*Crisigv*

:hug

@*kivi*

Good to hear. 

@*SofaKing*

Sorry to hear mate. 

@*tea111red*

Start with the subject you want to talk about and do it in a short, easy way to understand. Don't show emotion if they are toxic people and don't be concerned for them, as is a trigger for them to start to bully you.


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> @*tea111red*
> 
> Start with the subject you want to talk about and do it in a short, easy way to understand. Don't show emotion if they are toxic people and don't be concerned for them, as is a trigger for them to start to bully you.


haha...these people are staff at a school i used to go to. i'd have to talk to them about letting me back into their program/ask them about my chances of getting into their program again.

i'm probably going to have to talk about how i've improved since i was last in school.... reflecting on everything is kind of overwhelming to me. it's hard to know where to start and what exactly i should say.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> haha...these people are staff at a school i used to go to. i'd have to talk to them about letting me back into their program/ask them about my chances of getting into their program again.
> 
> i'm probably going to have to talk about how i've improved since i was last in school.... reflecting on everything is kind of overwhelming to me. it's hard to know where to start and what exactly i should say.


In that type of scenario most go to another school.

What some find is one school they are not accepted at or don't do good at go to another school where they do better, even top of the class. Quality of teachers, ranking of school compared to other schools makes a big difference to quality of education.

If it's the only school offering that program, then like you said, would most likely have to show you done some learning in that field (work experience or volunteer), so better prepared this time around. Some people struggle as they learn practically instead of academically. Most courses are academic.


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> In that type of scenario most go to another school.
> 
> What some find is one school they are not accepted at or don't do good at go to another school where they do better, even top of the class. Quality of teachers, ranking of school compared to other schools makes a big difference to quality of education.
> 
> If it's the only school offering that program, then like you said, would most likely have to show you done some learning in that field (work experience or volunteer), so better prepared this time around. Some people struggle as they learn practically instead of academically. Most courses are academic.


thank you for your help.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> thank you for your help.


You're welcome. 

That's why you find people trying to get into the highest ranking collegues, as get the best education (probably learnt from parents who learnt that from experience or their parents). If not they accept the next best thing.


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> That's why you find people trying to get into the highest ranking collegues, as get the best education (probably learnt from parents who learnt that from experience or their parents). If not they accept the next best thing.


ah...the prestige of the school doesn't matter much to me. the most important thing is that it's accredited.


----------



## pinkpixie

like i wish i was dead


----------



## twistix

ANX1 said:


> @*twistix*
> I learnt that there is a time and place to help people. Try reading peoples moods, what they like, don't like via observation when they interact with others.


I don't think this is the type of situation you're imagining


----------



## Andre

I'm glad somebody asked some time ago because I can't tell any one person or persons.

Self has way too much anger, has had too much anger for a very long time, and feels much less hope when the anger gets worse. I get mad that it's like being suffocated by strange people I must hate. I didn't choose to feel this way, so don't blame me.

I walk around the mall, all eyes on me. Screw them all because there's no relation and so there's only contempt.

Wish I get more hope about moving out and finding room mates and friends. I was so scared about dying last night from my detached face.

Don't judge, you don't know.

Then I tell myself I've got it made so I'm free to be true about myself, like fear, I'm afraid, I get angry a lot, I don't have fun, and the frustration I feel is unbearable, day in and day out.

Then back around to "**** it" because complaining like this to no one in particular feels like I'm digging myself a whole that makes it harder to get out of. Of course I'm not wrong because I've got it made.

Still I need peace, hope, friendship, fun etc. so I hope for it. The disgust and anger keeps ****ing with me.

Still afraid of being stuck friendless forever. I feel so very low sometimes.


----------



## BeautyStale

Been worried about a friend, turns out they were injured to a point where they'll need to visit the hospital for several weeks. That and I'm trying to rejoin a chatroom of another friend, but I think they're busy at the moment.

Oh and it's difficult to be around extended family. It's an obligation to make small talk and try to keep a light-hearted atmosphere, but then again I've never been too close with this cousin. That and it's likely that I won't be able to go to any hobby groups this weekend so I'll have to wait a bit longer before making more IRL friends.

Mainly it's been worrying and stressful, but it's always a good idea to at least try to keep an optimistic mindset!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

I can only suggest / present options, its your decision at the end of the day. 

@pinkpixie

Please no?  :hug

@twistix

Maybe not. :stu

Anyway, wish you a good day.


----------



## Jessie382016

Totally agree. U expreesed that very, VERY well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## jeanny

Angry.


----------



## Jessie382016

littleghost said:


> Sorry to hear that.:frown2:


Me too lost my husband last year n can't get over it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tea111red

i'm back to not wanting to do stuff because of all hoops i'll have to jump through.


----------



## Kevin001

Pretty good. Killed my workout just hope works flies by today.


----------



## Wanderlust26

ANX1 said:


> @*Wanderlust26*
> 
> Put a small amount of money in another bank account via automatic payment. A bank account you don't touch.


I have one and I was just gonna write about that. Ha 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just checked my savings account and I'm proud of the emergency cushion I've saved up so far, but I definitely could've done a lot better.


----------



## SparklingWater

Intrigued and excited and scared


----------



## kivi

Like an alien


----------



## AllTheSame

Very tired....exhausted. Going to sleep good tonight that's for damn sure. The marathon meetings and flying this week really did a number on me lol. The stress of it all just wore me out.

Also happy though. Going to spend the weekend with my kids. I miss them. They're fun  they help me lighten up and laugh and forget about my worries for a while.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@*jeanny*

 :hug

@*tea111red*

Drive through that not wanting to do it? I find sometimes that is depression talking or exhaustion. If do it, relax and sleep better.

@*Wanderlust26*

I'm proud of you.  :grin2:

Yeah, I'm being cheeky. But seriously you did well. 

@kivi

 :hug

@*AllTheSame*

Well done mate, enjoy the time with your loved ones, you deserve it.


----------



## Jessie382016

Crisigv said:


> My feet and hands feel like they're going to fall off.


Neuropathy?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Crisigv

Jessie382016 said:


> Neuropathy?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Who knows


----------



## whereistheoffswitch

I'm alright, not happy but not sad either, just in the middle.


----------



## Jessie382016

Am sending this to me and whomever needs it  :boogie :banana :hug
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jessie382016

Jessie382016 said:


> Am sending this to me and whomever needs it  :boogie :banana :hug
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Where does That time come from. Wrote this at 9:24 AM...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jessie382016

tea111red said:


> ah...the prestige of the school doesn't matter much to me. the most important thing is that it's accredited.


Totally. The accreditation part is what keeps me from doing online only for college. Cannot move to another campus/city and other colleges are too far away.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Wanderlust26

ANX1 said:


> I'm proud of you.  :grin2:
> 
> Yeah, I'm being cheeky. But seriously you did well.


Thank you.


----------



## SplendidBob

Sad and kinda deflated.

Though its getting better overall, I am still missing her, but some days are better than others. Today was a bit worse, but I will get there.

I need to find something to get in my life that I give half a **** about. I am so jealous of people who are actually _passionate_ about things. Not only do I not have such a thing, I can't even start to imagine where to look.

Also decided to do a sneaky caffeine and ephedrine dieting day, but pretty sure I got a nasty comedown off that today which is making my mood bad, so I think it's time I stop taking that, it really isn't needed now I only need to lose 20lbs. Well, I don't even _need_ to lose it, so why the **** I am messing with ephedrine now is beyond me.

Also wanna get drunk, but if I do that the emotions will be heightened and really bite me in the arse.


----------



## Kevin001

Hopeful......I've come a long way.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Wanderlust26 said:


> Thank you.


You're welcome.


----------



## noydb

Mc Borg said:


> Like a loser and/or idiot.


You're neither :squeeze


----------



## Kevin001

Stressed....mainly because of work.


----------



## SparklingWater

annoyed, worried, blah


----------



## Jessie382016

Pained
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## DancingOnTheAshes

A coworker yelled at me today because I wanted to enforce workplace safety and wouldn't shut up about it... now I spent the entire evening feeling sad.


----------



## catcharay

twistix said:


> Yikes! Glad you're ok


Thank you, I was a drama queen really.


----------



## twistix

catcharay said:


> Thank you, I was a drama queen really.


Well, when these things happen, best do it in style


----------



## momentsunset

Sad and lonely.


----------



## Ai

Introspective. A little annoyed with myself. 


What's the point of being able to sing this well when I don't actually do anything with it? When I have no motivation or inclination to do anything with it? I wish I could just, like... transfer my talent to someone else who actually cares and would make use of it. 

All my skills are legitimately pointless and useless in real world situations...


----------



## 8512

Confused on if I have SA or if it's a temporary thing. Confused I suppose


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Extremely bad. Had nightmares the last few nights. Just woke up with my heart beating fast and my body shaking. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Like I just ate some yummy pickled eggs with beets.


----------



## Crisigv

Annoyed that I'm not tired, even though I was yawning.


----------



## momentsunset

Surprisingly good! But anxious lol


----------



## Kevin001

Groggy....I keep waking up late too...ugh.


----------



## SparklingWater

annoyed


----------



## sandromeda

Hungry and lonely


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pretty good. I managed to avoid all media coverage of the inauguration today, so that's a plus, lol.


----------



## SparklingWater

I'm pretty good, but I'm bored. I need to start making steps and getting involved in stuff that can fill my time.


----------



## Ckg2011

Like a depressed dumba**, oh well. I am just a stupid jacka**.


----------



## tea111red

i just feel so hated by people. probably a lot of people on this site, too. i feel like i'm just very annoying.


----------



## PolkaTheSalsa

Tired and lonely


----------



## tea111red

ugly


----------



## SofaKing

Exhausted. Today's drive made for over 2100 miles of driving in the last 10 days and I have over 1300 more miles of driving to do over the next week. .


----------



## tea111red

ugh. reading this crap again has made me feel like crying again. :no well i am again, actually...


----------



## Ai

Tired. It's difficult adjusting to sleeping alone again after having someone next to me for a week... The longer it takes me to get comfortable, the freer reign my mind has to wreak its havoc. And starting off lonely certainly isn't helpful in that event...


----------



## Mc Borg

Scared.


----------



## SparklingWater

confused and maybe judgemental


----------



## 629753

fine. havent been anxious in over 2 monts


----------



## Crisigv

Kinda crappy. It's been a nice stretch of crappy days.


----------



## discopotato

lonely


----------



## tea111red

seems likely i'll have social problems, or at least problems w/ isolating myself, for the rest of my life. i don't care to be around or hang out w/ a lot of people and i will probably continue to be introverted.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Discontent.


----------



## funnynihilist

Not too great...


----------



## mosttender

*New*

I am so confused. What am I doing? Help me! &#128563;


----------



## Memories of Silence

I feel like there might be a ghost near me. I've had this feeling twice tonight, but I don't think it was the same ghost both times. It's not scary because I don't think it would hurt me, but it's a weird feeling.


----------



## SparklingWater

Excited and scared also bored


----------



## Wanderlust26

I'm really disappointed in the support manager over last night. I thought she was a decent person.... She gave me the wrong instructions over how to do the new zone when I had initially done it correctly. When the assistant manager came over to check, she had to retell me and I waited for the support manager to say it was her mistake but she didn't! I didn't want it to be like I'm tattle tailing on her but I also didn't want to look stupid, so I politely let her know I was told differently and then that's when the support manager admitted she was confused. Ugh.


----------



## catcharay

Like the audibility of my voice is low and monotone and I'm stumbling and bumbling over words - not great. But I got my stitches out. My doc just pulled the scab off, thanks doc.


----------



## Kevin001

Anxious......ugh.


----------



## Jeremie the Bear

Anxious, and very bad. Dealing with my anxiety while dealing with end of friendship..It's been since saturday I know, but it affects me more than I would have thought.


----------



## whereistheoffswitch

I'm alright at the mo


----------



## Mur

Pretty damn good


----------



## tea111red

this person gave me a good idea of where i could possibly meet someone that i'd like (hopefully), but i still feel like i don't want to be around people. i feel like my depression and anxiety has debilitated me too much. i feel stuck trying to get out of a hole.


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling awesome. I had a long day at work. Met with someone for some in-store training for my job (this is supposed to be the last training session, we promise....really, we mean it this time). And I was expecting to meet up with a regular sales person but I got someone higher up instead. I just freaked out (inside) when I saw her and she introduced myself, thank the gods I dressed up a little bit today. I just had a gut feeling she might be a little higher up. Anyways we spent an hour and a half training and after the first minute or two I really calmed down. I was able to be myself. Today was one of those days when I just crushed my anxiety. I wish I could do this at will. Idk why sometimes I seem to be pretty much anxiety-free, even in very stressful situations. We really connected. She's about my age. I was able to relax enough to ask some good questions and I just flew right through the training. It was supposed to take a couple of hours and we finished way early.

I was going to send an email in the morning to thank her and let our client know we met up, and that it went really well but I just checked my email (I always do before bed) and she beat me to it. She said it went awesomely well, she said I was pleasant to work with and we covered everything in less time than expected. Ffs, I was worried about this. So worried. And it could not have gone better. I also got an email directly from the client saying she was very happy I did the training so early, and that it went well. Ffs, every once in a while, things do go right, things do go my way.....


----------



## tea111red

oh brother. i warned my mom repeatedly not to do something because i figured bad things would happen if she did, but she still did it and bad things ended up happening. now i have to be nagged by her about the bad stuff happening and try to get her to calm down. :roll 

she treated me like this massive enemy when warning her.... :no really, really upset me badly.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Felt pretty embarrassed last night at work. I was trying to ask the manager if the W-2s have been handed out yet, but instead I said, "Have the *Ws* been handed out?" haha I don't wanna talk anymore.


----------



## Zatch

Responsible. Complaints are vapid, time to focus my effort towards solutions.


----------



## Kevin001

A little anxious knowing I have to make some phone calls this morning...ugh.


----------



## sandromeda

Tired and worried


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Howngray!!


----------



## masterof

I thought I got a grip on my anxiety. but now today, It's come again .
Feeling anxious and sad.


----------



## tea111red

i feel trapped in such a horrible situation.


----------



## funnynihilist

the same as always


----------



## whereistheoffswitch

I'm feeling alright but oddly I feel that I shouldn't be feeling alright as my life is not going anywhere at the moment.


----------



## Marakunda

.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

I'm feeling good


----------



## SparklingWater

excited and nervous


----------



## Marakunda

Marakunda said:


> Just took Lorazepam for the first time. This is probably the happiest I've been in a LONG time.
> It's so good to feel somewhat normal and relaxed. Existence feels better than an orgasm right now.


Also, I miss a lot of people from this site. Haven't been on in forever. A lot of you were cool.
I'll always remember this place, it's where I spent my teenage years. Talking to other lonely people.

I wish every one of you a good life. Don't let mental illness/anxiety steal your life. Your struggles don't define you.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Down.


----------



## TryingMara

Upset, frustrated. Since I can't vent to the people I normally would, I feel more stuck and trapped than usual.


----------



## burgerchuckie

Sentimental


----------



## Kevin001

Meh...overslept....nose is a little stuffy. I'll manage though.


----------



## SparklingWater

good for the most part, but a little down i had to ask for some help from my mom


----------



## TryingMara

Cold and really tired.


----------



## tea111red

anxious and dreading stuff.


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good. Enjoying the weekend with my kids  I picked them up this morning and my girls were dressed in the unicorn one-sies they got for Christmas lmao. They're still wearing them. It's part really cute, and part hilarious. Their cousins are coming over any minute now, so soon the adults in this house will be seriously outnumbered by the teenagers. All hell about to break loose in 3....2...1.....


----------



## Crisigv

a bit down, what else is new


----------



## KILOBRAVO

Crisigv said:


> a bit down, what else is new


:squeeze.

As for me, i feel fine.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Disgusted. I was so excited to get my boyfriend a waffle maker for his birthday and he loved it, until we opened the package. There were waffle crumbs inside of it! I'm returning it. I don't want him to have a used one and that's just disgusting. I can't ****ing believe that. **** Wal-mart and their customers.


----------



## zomb

The mods have made me feel ill


----------



## catcharay

Irritable and rude. I feel that I'm becoming cynical and resentful and unkind. I'm constantly thinking the siblings in the family are lazy and spoilt, don't help around. Then I'm noticing that I'm becoming ill-mannered, twice in two days someone had to help open the door for me and it didn't register to say thank you, like I'm entitled. It used to be automatic etiquette. However, I'm trying to be conscious about being nice, I'll say " thank you so much" instead of the generic "thank you". It's little but I do notice a concealed lift of delight in their face, so I think it's worth the effort. Imagine a world where everyone was deadpanned and only out for themselves. Don't get me started on drivers on the road.


----------



## Kevin001

Wanderlust26 said:


> Disgusted. I was so excited to get my boyfriend a waffle maker for his birthday and he loved it, until we opened the package. There were waffle crumbs inside of it! I'm returning it. I don't want him to have a used one and that's just disgusting. I can't ****ing believe that. **** Wal-mart and their customers.


Omg lol.


----------



## AllTheSame

tea111red said:


> anxious and dreading stuff.





Crisigv said:


> a bit down, what else is new


(((hugs))) to both of you



Wanderlust26 said:


> Disgusted. I was so excited to get my boyfriend a waffle maker for his birthday and he loved it, until we opened the package. There were waffle crumbs inside of it! I'm returning it. I don't want him to have a used one and that's just disgusting. I can't ****ing believe that. **** Wal-mart and their customers.


Yeah I shop at Walmart maybe a couple, or three times a year. Most of the time I pick Target over them but they are quite a bit more expensive, at least where I live. A waffle maker is something I might go to Walmart to buy, though. I mean, until now. Ffs. That's disgusting. Yet somehow I'm not all that surprised.


----------



## funnynihilist

Tired and bored at the same time


----------



## tea111red

AllTheSame said:


> (((hugs)))


thank you.


----------



## Citrine79

I went thru a brief period after the new year where I was doing ok and was able to get thru the work day and accomplish things. We also had a about a 2 week January thaw here and the weather was good. Since the weather has gone downhill over the past few days and will be cold and snowy for the forseeable future, my anxiety and extreme worrying has returned more fierce than ever. My extreme worrying makes me sensitive to everything, so all the little annoyances of co-workers and the work day are driving me crazy.

I try hard to be positive but I let someone or something get to me and then I become miserable like I am today. Wishing I was in a place where it is sunny and warm right now.


----------



## SofaKing

Wanderlust26 said:


> Disgusted. I was so excited to get my boyfriend a waffle maker for his birthday and he loved it, until we opened the package. There were waffle crumbs inside of it! I'm returning it. I don't want him to have a used one and that's just disgusting. I can't ****ing believe that. **** Wal-mart and their customers.


Grrrr...yeah. I inspect packages very closely for signs that it wasn't factory sealed. I've actually opened some I've intended to buy, to make sure.


----------



## SofaKing

I'm exhausted from the last 24 hours of driving 800+ miles, unloading, unpacking, shopping, unloading, unpacking, etc. for a new apartment.

Now, I'm hungry, tired, and don't want to cook...yet, I shouldn't just go out to eat because of that.

And I don't want to eat a frozen microwave meal, though I do have that on hand.

Just grumpy and feeling lonely...harumph!


----------



## twistix

Facing setbacks and struggling to keep it together


----------



## Crisigv

I've been feeling down for some time now. Not good that when I do have good days, I think I'm dreaming.


----------



## momentsunset

I have a mix of insane happiness and anxiety. lol


----------



## Blue Dino

It is at the same time hilarious, absurd and depressing to see my mom spending about 2 hours doing sometime in an attempt to manipulate me and lure me into doing something she deems bad, in hopes to build an opportunity to start another fight with me. But I saw through the whole thing and I didn't not step onto her trap. She looked so disappointed and defeated when she realize I did not. Bad thing is, that would only further bottle up her rage further for a bigger explosion next time. I just hope it will not be directed at me. 

It's crazy how some people literally just thrive mentally and emotionally on asserting conflict and fighting with others. To this day, I really don't understand people like that. It's sad how I have someone like this in my life as the closet person by blood to me that I am born to. Almost every single personality trait she has, I facepalmed myself at.


----------



## Wanderlust26

AllTheSame said:


> Yeah I shop at Walmart maybe a couple, or three times a year. Most of the time I pick Target over them but they are quite a bit more expensive, at least where I live. A waffle maker is something I might go to Walmart to buy, though. I mean, until now. Ffs. That's disgusting. Yet somehow I'm not all that surprised.


That's how I felt, disgusted but not really surprised.



SofaKing said:


> Grrrr...yeah. I inspect packages very closely for signs that it wasn't factory sealed. I've actually opened some I've intended to buy, to make sure.


I'm doing that from now on!


----------



## TryingMara

Like there's something missing in me.


----------



## konas8

Weirdly energetic after burning the midnight oil. But I'm off to bed.


----------



## The Library of Emma

momentsunset said:


> I have a mix of insane happiness and anxiety. lol


i hear you. i get this sometimes too.


----------



## The Library of Emma

Right now i'm feeling lost...tired...not sure what to make of tomorrow...eh.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Sad. 

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## SofaKing

Cautiously optimistic?


----------



## Kevin001

Meh....ok. Need to get a good workout in.


----------



## SparklingWater

My stomach hurts, boo!


----------



## sandromeda

Flustered and hungry


----------



## Ai

Kinda smug. There was this restaurant that I worked at earlier this past year, owned by my now ex-friend. She and her husband treated me atrociously, all the while insidiously convincing me how benevolent they were being for "giving me a chance." They manipulated me, took advantage of my generosity, and gas lit the _s*it_ out of me until I truly believed that I not only deserved what came my way, but that I was _imagining_ it... Just. Bloody monstrous people. When I finally got up the courage to quit, they withheld my last month and half's worth of wages (knowing that, since I agreed to work under the table to help _them_ out, I couldn't do anything about it) and threatened to lie about my job performance if I listed my experience there on my resume and someone decided to call (which they also knew I needed to do; it was part of the reason I agreed to work there for such little pay... I have so little experience to use, no one will hire me...)

All n' all, just a ****ing terrible, emotionally scarring experience... I have been terrified to even _try_ applying anywhere else for almost 7 months now.

Today, I heard from a friend that they're closing.

I feel like kind of a sh*tty person for feeling vindicated by that... but. **** 'em. They don't get to do the **** they did to me, steal money from me, bully my sister on the internet for simultaneously being fat and not patronizing their restaurant, _and_ get my pity.

Now maybe I can actually rightfully list that experience without fear of being pettily sabotaged and put all this insanity behind me.

A new chapter.


----------



## cosmicslop

Just as dramatic and odd at the same time.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

down


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Melancholic and tired and sore


----------



## Kevin001

Stressed.......work...ugh.


----------



## marsia

Kevin001 said:


> Stressed.......work...ugh.


Hope it goes better for you the rest of the week! :hug


----------



## Kevin001

marsia said:


> Hope it goes better for you the rest of the week! :hug


Thanks you're like the nicest person here. :smile2:


----------



## momentsunset

Like ****. Got stood up tonight. Fun stuff.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad


----------



## TryingMara

Unimportant, feel like an outsider and an outcast.


----------



## marsia

Kevin001 said:


> Thanks you're like the nicest person here. :smile2:


Not counting yourself!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Crisigv said:


> I'm sad


Me too


----------



## Natsumiineko

I feel fine really, normal.


----------



## Crisigv

Stomach hurts


----------



## SparklingWater

Excited
Hopeful
Annoyed


----------



## Memory

sad sad sad. I finally got a boyfriend and I think he lost interest in me. I knew this would happen. nothing good ever lasts for me. time to emotionally detach. :crying:


----------



## tea111red

Memory said:


> sad sad sad. I finally got a boyfriend and I think he lost interest in me. I knew this would happen. nothing good ever lasts for me. time to emotionally detach. :crying:


that sucks......i fear this happening to me.  must be horrible for you to be going through this. it's a mystery to me how to keep a man's interest or where to find men that don't lose interest easily. :stu

anyway, hope you feel better.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Dow. Again.


----------



## sandromeda

bitter.


----------



## twistix

Lonely. Uneasy


----------



## Ai

Memory said:


> sad sad sad. I finally got a boyfriend and I think he lost interest in me. I knew this would happen. nothing good ever lasts for me. time to emotionally detach. :crying:


Why do you think that?


----------



## Ai

Anxious. So, so, so stupidly anxious. Just thinking about submitting this application in the morning kind of makes me want to explosively vomit... It can only go one of two ways:

1.) I'm ignored, like usual, and my self-esteem takes yet another crippling blow

or

2.) I get an interview... Which, arguably, is almost kind of worse... Secretly, I suspect I am _hoping_ I keep being a **** up so I don't have to have a bloody interview or really try in any meaningful way. I couldn't be a bigger loser if I tried. -_-

How do you explain hardly any working experience, coupled with years-long gaps between? Sure, I could _maybe _concoct some bull****, flowery excuse in writing... But in person? On the spot? Even if I intentionally tried to PREPARE something? Lol. I'd just as likely compulsively blurt out the truth... which is what I am wont to do.

"Oh, you know... Hiding behind the paralyzing weight of mental illness... It's probably fine, though."

Sounds good.


----------



## TwerkinForTalos

This is fine.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Crazy.


----------



## catcharay

Woman's time moment as said in 30 rock.


----------



## llodell88

tired. bored somewhat so i ended up on here. i used to never get bored, so i don't know what's happening to me.


----------



## Omni-slash

Probably not the best place for this, but I got this intense shot of pain in the left side of my abdomen while I was peeing. It is still here 5 mins later, though not as intense.

Any idea what it could be related to?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Siegfried said:


> Probably not the best place for this, but I got this intense shot of pain in the left side of my abdomen while I was peeing. It is still here 5 mins later, though not as intense.
> 
> Any idea what it could be related to?


Maybe a kidney stone.


----------



## Omni-slash

SamanthaStrange said:


> Maybe a kidney stone.


Possibly, but the pain felt lower, towards the pelvis area. Still felt like an organ.

I'm sure it was nothing serious. I hope. I might die.


----------



## Mc Borg

I actually feel like I might cry. Something I haven't done in a really long time.


----------



## noydb

@Mc Borg 
:frown2: :squeeze


----------



## SofaKing

Feeling like I should get my butt up and cook something instead of going out to eat.


----------



## Kevin001

Strange.....got a feeling something big is about to happen.


----------



## Citrine79

The number of things causing me worry and anxiety are contnuing to increase by the day.

I'm sad and lonely on this cold, dark winter night. Should be out having fun but instead already worrying about work Monday.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Kinda okay.


----------



## thomasjune

I feel great. Its Saturday night, im home alone and I like it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## AllTheSame

I think one of my friend's on fb got boob implants. I'm not looking at her pics on fb to stare at her boobs, I'm really not. But it just JUMPED out at me. She's huge now. I mean, huge. She went from a B cup to a double D overnight. She's posted this pic just now...for seemingly no reason...she's showing off a new shirt she just bought, lmao. Yeah. OK. Omg this is really cringeworthy, I know I'm not the only one that's noticed. I'm just waiting for comments to come in.

No. No. That's just too ironic. New shirt to show off new boobs = you might as well just tell everyone what you did, sweetie.


----------



## TwerkinForTalos

Sad, I should have said something.


----------



## Mc Borg

noydb said:


> @Mc Borg
> :frown2: :squeeze


:squeeze Thanks. I feel better now and didn't end up crying after all. I was close, though. lol.


----------



## Neal

Irritable. This weekend went by too quick and now I have to go back up into the mountains again. At least I have a working phone now so I can call someone in case the silence in my apartment starts to drive me mad again.


----------



## Ai

Kind of hurt. And irritated at myself for being dumb enough to feel hurt.

A Facebook "friend" (acquaintance, really; we went to the same high school, she graduated several years after me) shared that obnoxious meme that's been trending on and off the past few years:

"Don't use a big word when a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity"​
A Facebook friend of hers remarked something to the effect that she agreed vocabulary is important, but people like this sound like children who've just discovered a thesaurus for the first time (true). My friendquaintance responded, "Not that long ago, I saw someone say, 'what a callous homosapien' and I was like is this a joke? It's infuriating."

They had a good laugh.

A minute or so later, she tagged me: "[my name] also reminds me of you."

Uhh? Huh. Ok.

Unsure whether she was playfully inferring my tolerance for pseudo-intellectuals (like, "hahaha, thinking of you, look at this!") or whether she was taking a random jab at me (as in, "lolol this person reminds me of you, these people are a joke, maybe you should stop talking"), I simply commented back, "lol... Wait. Are you calling me pompous?"

An hour later? Still no response.

She's since shared several more memes and commented on multiple articles, however...

So I'm guessing I'm just meant to take a big, fat, passive-aggressive hint, then...

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Suppose I'll tack that onto the already sizable list of people I've hardly spoken to (particularly high school classmates, for some reason) who've accused me of being an arrogant, pretentious dipsh*t most of my life...

I don't know why I bother trying to talk _around_ other people at all.

I hardly get any enjoyment out of it and they clearly hate me... whether I do anything to actually provoke them or not.

Who's winning here?


----------



## Canadian Brotha

The deepest of depressions


----------



## Mick1990LFC

Nervous & keep getting butterflies.

I am waiting to hear back from a job interview hopefully soon see if I got the job.

Hate this waiting game!


----------



## kivi

Horrible. My body aches. And I've just seen that I accidentally liked our instructor's announcement which I definitely hated (says there'll be more social participation). It obviously looks like a "sarcastic like". lol


----------



## catcharay

Embarrassing


----------



## TryingMara

I'm starting to feel like an ogre again.


----------



## Wanderlust26

I feel like I've lost myself.

It seems like no one can understand the depth of my loneliness.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I must resist.... the urge.... to sleep........


----------



## CallmeIshmael

I feel tired and confused right now, maybe a bit depressed and a lot of frustration.


----------



## CallmeIshmael

Actually I feel really depressed lately, I noticed that I have had a lot of down moments lately to the point where I just want to break down into tears. I don't see the point of anything anymore there's no value in my life anymore.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Miserable and lazy


----------



## TwerkinForTalos

Very tired.


----------



## Spindrift

In one of those tired-but-can't-sleep places. Fun!


----------



## Kevin001

Weird.....first time taking PTO and it feels strange.


----------



## Mc Borg

I feel like death.


----------



## herk

frustrated


----------



## ljubo

Great. I finally blocked the female troll who harassed me in the chat for months. Should have blocked her long time ago.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

lonely and pointless. i'm garbage and deserve every bad thing i get.


----------



## catcharay

No good. Stomach feeling back. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## sandromeda

Extremely nervous and aggressive


----------



## Jordis The Swordmaiden

Hurt.. again.


----------



## Kevin001

Peachy....I'm off today so that is always good.


----------



## SofaKing

Feeling accomplished...being in a deep urban city is new to me, but I enjoyed a 6 block round trip walk to the produce market. I'm sure long time city dwellers are probably annoyed by a chore like that now, but I found it rather satisfying.


----------



## TryingMara

Replaceable.


----------



## Neal

Disappointed. I guess you cant always get what you want.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm in pain, in so many ways. This morning I heard and felt a big crunch sound in between my shoulder blades. My right arm hasn't stopped hurting since. That's the most immediate physical pain anyways.


----------



## CNikki

Feeling like there's a few bricks on top of my head.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Stuck and unmotivated.


----------



## whereistheoffswitch

I'm feeling like the world is carrying on but I seem to be going backwards


----------



## SparklingWater

Surprisingly content


----------



## Neal

Embarrassed. I made a compete fool out of myself to my co-workers. I'm just gonna go in, keep my head down and act like nothing ever happened.


----------



## cosmicslop

How I have been feeling for the past 4 hours: Why/how is not still 6 pm???


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Depressed and self loathing and annoyed and confused


----------



## aralez

Tumbled back into depression after being out of it for about a year. My best friend is away for 6 months, I'm one week in and I've already realised that without her, I'm entirely alone.


----------



## TryingMara

depleted


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good, cautiously optimistic about my job. I'm building relationships with store managers. I'm having to meet 160 new store managers, and that doesn't even include assistant mgrs, receiving mgrs. Everything is going pretty well so far though, and I'm getting wins in every store. I'm getting our product seen, displays up. Not sure what more they can ask for really. This was a little awkward though....I happened to bump into a regular salesperson in a store yesterday. Basically she asked, in a nice way, who I was with and what I was doing messing with her product lol. My new boss doesn't want the regular sales teams to even know we're out there shadowing them...going behind them and seeing how they're taking care of the stores is part of our jobs. This woman was nervous as *** when I told her I was doing the same product, in the same store as her. I tried to put her at ease and told her I had different goals wrt our product lines (which is true) but meh....I'm not sure she bought it.

Anyways. Work aside, I'm looking forward to, am excited about my kids' spring break. I can't believe it's only about a month away. Not sure what we're going to do, maybe go to Galveston for a day, a few days, Idk. Something to look forward to though.


----------



## Zatch

Ochen horosho. Just sore and tipsy. Good day.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Just some stuff that's made me a little sad.


----------



## discoveryother

Neal said:


> Disappointed. I guess you cant always get what you want.


yeah this.


----------



## Kevin001

Anxious....I got a jacket out of wardrobe but I'm not sure if its mine or not.....I pray its mine.


----------



## riverbird

Broken. I think I'm going to have to put my 16-year-old cat down fairly soon. I've had him since the day he was born. I kind of depend on him for emotional stability. He's my rock. I don't know what I'll do without him. :crying:


----------



## catcharay

Pimply and hating humanity again, but trying really hard not to. I don't want to think the worst of people.


----------



## TwerkinForTalos

Stupid. I ruin all of my opportunities with my stupid mouth. I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to make this work. Guess I'm also feeling a little negative, haha.


----------



## 2Milk

Super pissed off. I failed my driving test two weeks ago for making a dumb mistake, so I scheduled another one for today. This time I was ready, I was ready to slay that driving test. I get to the DMV, and just when I get there I realized that I forgot my wallet (I never forget my wallet!). Luckily I dug through my portfolio of documents and found my old paypal debit card which I had not used in over a year. The ****ty part was that I had just withdrawn all of my paypal balance the day before, and transferred it to my bank account. I also disabled the "back up" payment option on the paypal card for security reasons. Before I even walked into the DMV building I thought to myself "maybe I should add some funds to my paypal account" but I just shrugged it off. If I had done that my card would have gone through without a problem. I'm feeling really pissed off right now. Now I have to wait two more weeks. Also I get home and my stupid mom tells me "I told you not to forget anything, I told you."


----------



## Zozulya

Empty and demotivated.


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad, interesting stuff is happening.


----------



## leonardop

im crying now because of too much stress all day.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Just a little down.

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## Dissonance

Feels like I drifted back to shore and memories of places disappear with the passing of ages.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Crucified


----------



## whereistheoffswitch

I'm feeling pretty good.


----------



## copper

Low back is killing me. Been bothering me since Saturday.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Annoyed as hell.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I'm in one of my apparently signature moods that's characterized by a hatred of everybody around me. 

For my own and others' safety, it's best I don't talk to anybody right now. The safest coping mechanism I know is, ironically, harming myself.

I really need help, but nobody will give it to me. It's best I just slice my thighs, for now.


----------



## Unknown Trooper

Extremely confused as per usual.


----------



## Jamesinwriting

Excited but very anxious on going to film school. It's very expensive for me. In my fantasies, I am very optimistic. I just hope I'll be able to translate at least a hint of that into reality.


----------



## ZombieIcecream

Im doing alright. I'm going to go see "Rings" (The third installment of "The Ring" franchise. I personally didn't enjoy the Japanese third installment, it was too saturated with CGI and the storyline was weak. ) soon at the theatre and will probably unleash my inner ten year old in the lobby afterwards and play video games.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Kevin001

ZombieIcecream said:


> I'm going to go see "Rings" (The third installment of "The Ring" franchise.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It was just ok but enjoy.


----------



## SofaKing

I'm all over the place...I'm sad and lonely, but also trying to convince myself that I'm doing ok and enjoying this new adventure of being in a new city.

I'm going to get up and walk a little over a mile to the library for a free healthy cooking class and then I'm walking back to a bike shop where I may buy a new bike to enjoy this spring.

I just hate the thought of doing all this alone...It's not like I can't do it all alone and survive being "independent", but I rarely extract much pleasure for doing things for myself and not having someone to share in the adventure.

I see a lot of self-talking in my future...and people keeping their distance as I mutter myself down the street.


----------



## TryingMara

Disappointed.


----------



## SofaKing

My mood has improved. It's a sunny day and I need sun...maybe a vitamin D thing.

The cooking class was lame, but glad I went. I did get to the same library that had a copy of Leaving Las Vegas @Canadian Brotha, so picked that up while I was there.

Got over to a bike store and selected one, but won't buy it before they assemble one in my size that they have in stock...Monday maybe.

I walked back through where a Farmer's Market was before and picked up some apples, mushrooms, and sampled some locally distilled pineapple rum (didn't buy).

I'm really enjoying getting immersed in this walk-everywhere city core living much more than I ever thought I would.

Got to get back outside...can't stay inside on a pretty day like today!


----------



## SplendidBob

I am so ****ing sick of this never ending neck problem now it's not funny. I made the mistake yesterday of using my neck in a totally normal way (i.e. sitting, and looking down at my hands to observe what they were doing, for 20 minutes) and my neck is a mess today. Can't use chairs for more than half an hour either without it worsening, cant look down. Physiotherapy makes it worse (it's not a muscle problem, its herniated discs, it's there on the ****ing MRI report).

Doctors have re -referred me to the neurologist, but it takes 6 months for them to reply and last time they just said "no significant nerve impingement, not prepared to do anything", and since no new MRI's have been taken, they will probably just do the same thing again. 6 months wasted. 

Going to make an appointment with my GP next week and am not ****ing leaving until they understand this **** isn't minor.

Sorry, this is ranty, but it's super frustrating atm.


----------



## whereistheoffswitch

I'm living where I'm comfy but I'm going out of my head becasue my life isn't going anywhere due this *insert appropriate obvious condition*
I'm now anxious as feck as my landlord is selling this place but also maybe I need this kick up the arse to do something but it still makes me anxious as heck having to move. Ffs. 
I know when it's really bad as I lose my appetite like I have done 
Oh to feel normal -.-

@*splendidbob* - I'm in the South East, that sounds like my local hospital!

@*SofaKing* - It's amazing how much the sun can help improve mood and mind. For the 1st time in what seems months the sun actually came out today, it was muchly needed I have to say. 
With that in mind I really need to get back into fighting my belly through jogging and weights.

@*ShatteredGlass* - I hope you're not cutting yourself.

@*TryingMara* - why are you dissapointed?

@*ZombieIcecream* - I love your username 

@*Wanderlust26* - more annoyed than eating a lovely meal and then finding a mouse poo in what you're eating?

@*unknown* trooper - I'm also confused at the mo


----------



## Crisigv

I'm miserable, or beyond miserable. Nothing is going right today. And the only person I thought I could talk to doesn't even want to talk to me.


----------



## Kevin001

Doing well, been a busy day.


----------



## Unknown Trooper

Quite shocked. Even people around this site subscribe to that dreadful classification of people in beta and alpha and epsilon and zeta and whatnot. It's one of the saddest things I've seen on this site and I thought people around here would know better, but I see people around here that, were they not socially anxious, would be just as shallow and empty as the people they envy or hate at this moment.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Wrecked.
@SofaKing ~ You'll love it!


----------



## Dark Harmonies

I don't feel lonely. Because I'm already lonely. I just feel miserable and helpless.


----------



## TryingMara

@whereistheoffswitch I had plans for yesterday that I was looking forward to. Plus the weather was supposed to be pretty nice. Unfortunately I got sick a few hours before and was unable to go.

I'm sorry things are tough for you with the living situation..


----------



## whereistheoffswitch

TryingMara said:


> @*whereistheoffswitch* I had plans for yesterday that I was looking forward to. Plus the weather was supposed to be pretty nice. Unfortunately I got sick a few hours before and was unable to go.
> 
> I'm sorry things are tough for you with the living situation..


Yea that can suck when plans go out the window :serious: (especially if not many plans are made in the first place).

My situation is so-so, I'm trying to see the positives, onwards and upwards (although probably sidewards based on history!) :O


----------



## TryingMara

whereistheoffswitch said:


> Yea that can suck when plans go out the window :serious: (especially if not many plans are made in the first place).
> 
> My situation is so-so, I'm trying to see the positives, onwards and upwards (although probably sidewards based on history!) :O


Exactly. Work is stressful and overwhelming at times and I need things to look forward to or else I risk losing my mind.

You have a good attitude about the situation . Hopefully life will surprise you.


----------



## Yer Blues

Decent.

Managed to get six hours of sleep, so that's pretty good while tapering.


----------



## whereistheoffswitch

TryingMara said:


> Exactly. Work is stressful and overwhelming at times and I need things to look forward to or else I risk losing my mind.
> 
> You have a good attitude about the situation . Hopefully life will surprise you.


What do you do if you don't mind me asking? And I hope your next plans are actually seen through!
I don't make many plans (due to guess what) but I like routine so I found that if you exercise (which I havn't been able to do recently due to an op) that also helps keeping ones mind from going further astray.

And thanks


----------



## AceEmoKid

So devoid of pleasure. Disillusioned. Hollywood is a parody of itself. Gender is a ****ing joke. Last last night felt like carnival; I was spinning in the same three places in a giant mansion filled with all the freaks and geeks of L.A., the sexual deviants and frat bros, homeless people and drunkards, people openly ****ing in front of a crowd of nearly a thousand other people. I was spinning so much I felt like I was going to puke. 

Usually I enjoy these raves but this was too much of a disaster; I felt like we were literally treated like animals. Nowhere to sit except in the "dungeon" basement floor, which was filled with acid enhanced visuals and some really ****ty, loud, dark electro music that shook me to the core and tons of people making out on the few couches available. No water; they made me throw out the bottle I brought and I had to spend $4 on a bottle at the bar, which they wouldn't let me refill so we kept having to refill it with sink water all the way in the bathroom. And there were only 2 bathrooms -- one men's and one women's -- in the entire mansion-wide place! They were pretty damn ****ing gross too, and the stalls didn't have locks or seat covers. I wanted to die a little bit because of how unsanitary the whole thing was. I was thirsty, tired from lack of sitting, and had to pee like every 20 minutes (I was drinking tons of water because acid dehydrates me). Not to mention one of the friends we brought was getting really depressed drunk and was killing our vibe, so half our party went home early. It took about an hour to even exit because our driver had checked her wallet and jacket at the coat check, and the coat check area had literally collapsed on top of itself....so the poor, single employee was desperately sifting through hundreds of similar looking belongings (basically leather jackets, 100 look alike black purses, etc) for a long line of disgruntled ravers. 

The whole ride home I was just in the back seat, trying to think of something to say to the sad drunk friend, but at the same time, hesitant to bring up anything for fear of embarrassing him. I barely know him, either. The rainy streets of L.A. at 3am looked terrible. They looked broken, greyed, disintegrating. People wandering the streets ****ed up on tons of drugs, wearing tin foil hats and soggy clothing, asking for spare change and looking for people we don't know. When we parted ways it was extremely awkward. I wanted to hang out with my best friend, who also came with us and had taken acid with me, but our driver friend was being wayyy too chatty and overwhelming. We didn't want to be rude and tell her to be quiet (she came out to have a good time too, after all), so we just kind of parted ways. I stayed over at a friends place and we waited for the other half of the party who stayed for the rest of the rave to come back. It was extremely disorienting. I didn't know any of those people except one friend and our driver of course. I ended up just trying to fall asleep on a couch, but the acid kept me wide awake and conscious despite clenching my eyes closed and pulling a blanket around my head. I went in and out of consciousness to hear blaring music, random people having sex, and this one confused drunk girl that kept stumbling into the room slurring gibberish until 7am. At last, the house fell silent. A bit later, I begged my friend to drive me home so I could wash away the night in the comfort of my own shower, and sleep it all away in the comfort of my own bed. I couldn't wash away that feeling of disillusionment, however, no matter how much I tried.

I think the thing I was most ****ed up over is how much we live in a capitalistic society, and how much our expectations of grandeur (especially regarding gender & sex) contribute to that. In that event, we were deprived of our basic needs and could only satiate them by either spending even more money or by going extra lengths to make ends meet. And then looking at this crowd of people of all different gender expressions....how people would even "cross dress" as if wearing something typically associated with a gender you aren't is kinky or somehow a sexually exciting taboo....that just rubbed me the wrong way. It made me feel sick. How couples, threesomes, or even foursomes would travel along with one master holding all the other more "femininely dressed" parties on leash and collar, as if femininity is always subordinate to perceived masculinity, as if femininity is always something to be ashamed of, to be hyper sexualized, to be conquered. To a degree, I get bdsm, humiliation, all that jazz. To a degree I admit I'm even aroused by it. And that's the worst part. It makes me really, really wonder why I am so turned on by being humiliated. I have deep, ****ed up desires that deal with even being treated as something I'm not -- female, or at least someone more feminine -- in sexual scenarios.

And my god, the bigotry I witnessed. I remember vividly, I was sitting in one of the stalls and overhead some guys taking the piss and talking about something-something-'gay'....and nothing's wrong with talking about that, but just the way the guy said it with such vehemence. It weirded me out. Here we were at a kink rave, where half the people are ****ing with gender expression and most people I assume are pretty damn sexually fluid, yet there's still some people....maybe even people who are gay or same-gender attracted as well....who openly regard homosexuality with such distaste. It gave me really bad flashbacks to being bullied, and even seeing others get bullied, in middle & high school. Dumb teenagers calling anyone slightly outside the heteronormative status quo a ******. I felt a real pang of fear just sitting on the toilet to pee -- something most society would consider 'feminine' for some goddamn arbitrary reason -- and overhearing the word "gay" said with the same disgust as if they had said "******." 

I dunno. I'm just going on a tangent here but ****. I feel so ****ed up. I've had these thoughts for a while, creeping in, but last last night it really hit me full force. Our world is so ****ed up.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Unknown Trooper said:


> Quite shocked. Even people around this site subscribe to that dreadful classification of people in beta and alpha and epsilon and zeta and whatnot. It's one of the saddest things I've seen on this site and I thought people around here would know better, but I see people around here that, were they not socially anxious, would be just as shallow and empty as the people they envy or hate at this moment.


I feel this. That's one of the many reasons I left this site for a long while. It's so toxic. But at the same time, it's just a mirror of what much of society subscribes to offline as well.

I think these toxic ideas of masculinity (and just gender in general) & social class feed into insecurity, and in turn, that insecurity makes people turn into the very type of judgmental people (even outright bullies) that taught them these ****ed up values & made them feel like **** their whole lives in the first place. The only way they start to feel accepted and less insecure is when they start putting other people down for the same things. That's why these ideas, no matter how toxic we may know they are deep down, never seem to go away.

It takes so much strength to overcome and subvert these toxic ideas, I think.


----------



## Xenacat

Unknown Trooper said:


> Quite shocked. Even people around this site subscribe to that dreadful classification of people in beta and alpha and epsilon and zeta and whatnot. It's one of the saddest things I've seen on this site and I thought people around here would know better, but I see people around here that, were they not socially anxious, would be just as shallow and empty as the people they envy or hate at this moment.


I don't like those terms and refuse to use them. I don't know why anyone would call themselves such negative names. I try not to call myself anything negative.


----------



## Unknown Trooper

Xenacat said:


> I don't like those terms and refuse to use them. I don't know why anyone would call themselves such negative names. I try not to call myself anything negative.


Absolutely. They're basically digging themselves into a hole if they label themselves in such negative (or they label themselves as superior, which is again very wrong).



AceEmoKid said:


> I feel this. That's one of the many reasons I left this site for a long while. It's so toxic. But at the same time, it's just a mirror of what much of society subscribes to offline as well.
> 
> I think these toxic ideas of masculinity (and just gender in general) & social class feed into insecurity, and in turn, that insecurity makes people turn into the very type of judgmental people (even outright bullies) that taught them these ****ed up values & made them feel like **** their whole lives in the first place. The only way they start to feel accepted and less insecure is when they start putting other people down for the same things. That's why these ideas, no matter how toxic we may know they are deep down, never seem to go away.
> 
> It takes so much strength to overcome and subvert these toxic ideas, I think.


That explanation makes a lot of sense. I try my hardest not to judge people even if they have those beliefs (because I'm probably no better with other beliefs). I just honestly thought people who were probably bullied once (because let's face it's almost a symptom of SA) would never fall into the pitfall of being the bully since they know how horrible it is to be on the receiving end, but as you put it, it's easy to accept those beliefs and find a sense of self into them.


----------



## SofaKing

Feeling pretty good and pleasantly tired.

I woke up and headed out to a local recreational park, hiked 7ish miles with a meetup.com group followed by more walking to shop at an undisclosed store most people hate...and then back home.

Saturday and Sunday have been very fitness filled, which is good for what I'm trying to accomplish...so feeling pretty good.

And tomorrow, if I'm lucky, I get to test ride a bike I'm considering buying...just in time for the spring weather.


----------



## Xenacat

PieChai said:


> I'm feeling like it doesn't matter what I feel.


Somebunny cares about you......


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling awesome. I had a really good weekend with my kids. Watched a movie, some highlights from the slam dunk contest, played a lot of basketball (I'm sore), some card games. Laughed a lot. Was a really good weekend (with some much needed down time for me). My kids had a lot of fun with their cousins this weekend and I did too.


----------



## Mc Borg

Weird today. Like I have no desire to do anything.


----------



## Nitrogen

I'm nervous that I'm starting to crawl back into this site, because there was a time in my life where I would spend hours upon hours here and fell into a vortex of negativity that only perpetuated, like a really toxic addictive drug, until I forced myself to get away from it. I think it's largely because I don't have any close friends anymore or anyone to really talk to anymore (in a 'deep' sense, beyond the obligated 'how are you's and such), so I've been coming here (and another forum) much more lately, venting / spilling out my stream of consciousness. I've been feeling pretty lonely and such lately and the only conversation I have with people is either superficial or just casual. It's been sucking the life out of me.

I feel like I have a much better grip on myself than I did ~2 years ago, but I'm so hollow. I feel burnt out. I need to get my thoughts out somewhere. I just wish I had a way better outlet for it. I feel like an airtight bottle and the cork is going to unscrew at any moment. It's incredibly isolating to have to wait between 1-2 week intervals before I can talk about my concerns, thoughts, rambles, ideations, just all of that **** with my therapist and even then that doesn't fill the void for me. 45 minutes isn't long enough, and she's obligated to try and help me. It feels so vapid half the time.

My mind is constantly running in circles and the best I can do is type it out, as I'm doing right now, though I find myself incredibly frustrated with my inability to articulate how I'm actually feeling - type, delete; type, delete - repeating cycle over and over again because the words aren't right. There's so many personal things that I want to share as well, and I simply can't because of my circumstances. I'm struggling with a multitude of things; questioning my sexuality which has been causing me *intense* stress lately, balancing work and uni, being physically limited due to recovery from surgery (which I can't talk about with anyone, so I'm in a lot of physical pain daily but can't speak about it), having to replace the battery for my car, dealing with the general loneliness of my every day life and trying to connect and find some deeper meaning with just _someone_. I'm trying my damnedest to improve my life and this is like going two steps back.

I don't really know what I'm trying to accomplish by letting anyone who reads this know, but it helps to get it off my chest.

Too bad lobotomy isn't still a thing. (Joke)


----------



## feels

My mood has been pretty consistent lately. Haven't been feeling depressed much at all. There's a lot I'm looking forward to, but also slightly nervous about my friend leaving. Overall pretty damn content.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired been a long day.


----------



## AngstyTeenager

Depressed and affectionate. These two things aren't wired together, and it's confusing to experience both emotions at once. I don't understand how I really feel.


----------



## noydb

So strange


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Terribly ill


----------



## Mik3

Useless


----------



## AllTheSame

Awesome. I went shopping for auto insurance this morning and found a ridiculously cheaper rate than I've been paying, plus a ticket I got a while back has gone off my record now. It's like finding a $20 bill in your jeans pocket when you're doing laundry. Only this is hundreds of $$$. Ffs man. As far as Mondays go this one is pretty awesome so far. 

~sent from my GalaxyS4


----------



## SilentLyric

****ed up my back again. so I am in pretty bad pain. no more physical jobs. **** em. I am not sure how to bring it up at work, I probably should have sooner. I don't want to get fired (despite hating my job). just need to hold on to it till I get another job so I still have money coming in.


----------



## TryingMara

A little annoyed, at the moment.


----------



## Kevin001

Meh...wanted to drive but my mom was trippin, whatever though.


----------



## lonewolf01

feeling like i'm stuck, like i can't even see beyond the emotions i'm feeling right now.


----------



## Neal

Devils of the past are coming back to haunt me. I hate feeling the need to apologize when its no longer possible. And this is why you shouldnt hold grudges...


----------



## Yer Blues

Canadian Brotha said:


> Terribly ill


Sorry to hear that.

Not too bad. Managed to fix a computer and make some cash. Got in a hike as well.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Pretty depressed. I never get a break from troubles.


----------



## flyingMint

I feel a bit under the weather. Not in an "I'm sick" sense but in a moody sense. It rained here and it was also a bit chilly. It made me feel a bit chilly and alone on the inside as well. Also allergic reaction hives returned on me again so I'm pretty upset about that as well. :/


----------



## AndiLynne

I am internally freaking out right now. My first job was back in August of 2015, which I only lasted two weeks because I couldn't overcome my internal panic attacks enough to do the job right, which I quit because I was sent to clean the bathrooms and boss told me she wasn't sure what to do with me. I have been too fearful to apply since, but I would try to go over situations in my mind to help me avoid making a big dummy out of myself in public, but even that sent me into a panic. Now, I start waitress duty Saturday, and I am anxious already. I need someone to offer me some tips to overcome my anxiety-induced panic attacks because adult life has hit me full-force, and the constant ridicule from family involving jobs and my "shyness" has gotten to me. I am battling between whether life is ugly, or beautiful because I am darn tired of feeling scared of everything. People think it's an easy thing to snap out of, but it's not. This new job has led me to this forum and I hope it can help me.


----------



## Crisigv

A little lonely


----------



## ShatteredGlass

whereistheoffswitch said:


> @*ShatteredGlass* - I hope you're not cutting yourself.


Thanks for showing concern. I didn't end up cutting myself, but the past few days have not been kind to me. Yesterday was okay, but Saturday and Sunday were easily my worst days of the year. I was an emotional trainwreck. My Saturday night was defined by huddling up in my hoodie, horrifically nauseous, terrified of possibly having to vomit, freezing cold, and in one of the most crushingly low moods I've experienced in my life. I couldn't do anything, and truly felt like the embodiment of pure misery. The following day was a step up, but only temporarily, before I started feeling crushingly depressed once again. I couldn't take it, but also couldn't cry, so I put on the most sad song I could think of, and, mercifully started sobbing in seconds. It all felt so pathological, utterly independent of my environment. Whenever I feel a particular way, I can usually tell you why. These instances, however, I still don't know. I don't think I was physically ill in any way; the nausea has to have been psychosomatic as I didn't vomit nor did I have any diarrhea. I guess I can only really peg it down to stress.

It was a nightmarish experience. I almost feel like a changed person, especially considering the fact that I don't feel particularly empty, anymore.


----------



## Vladislavkari

Nervous. I just got a new job. I'm waiting for the background check to come back. And then I got to go to orientation. And I'm really nervous and the guy that's going to be training me is super cute.


----------



## Kevin001

AndiLynne said:


> I am internally freaking out right now. My first job was back in August of 2015, which I only lasted two weeks because I couldn't overcome my internal panic attacks enough to do the job right, which I quit because I was sent to clean the bathrooms and boss told me she wasn't sure what to do with me. I have been too fearful to apply since, but I would try to go over situations in my mind to help me avoid making a big dummy out of myself in public, but even that sent me into a panic. Now, I start waitress duty Saturday, and I am anxious already. I need someone to offer me some tips to overcome my anxiety-induced panic attacks because adult life has hit me full-force, and the constant ridicule from family involving jobs and my "shyness" has gotten to me. I am battling between whether life is ugly, or beautiful because I am darn tired of feeling scared of everything. People think it's an easy thing to snap out of, but it's not. This new job has led me to this forum and I hope it can help me.


Waitress duty? Why did you choose that? That is rough for a person with SA. Take it in strides and breath, good luck.


----------



## liverose

Kevin001 said:


> Waitress duty? Why did you choose that? That is rough for a person with SA. Take it in strides and breath, good luck.


I took a customer service job too, sometimes it hurts sometimes it helps with SA.


----------



## SparklingWater

Relieved. Decided to give my friendly neighborhood ER a visit after my heart started doing weird **** its never done. everything came backgreat. likely side effect from recent medications.

First car, then arrhythmia. Yesterday was not my day. Today will be better.


----------



## Kevin001

realisticandhopeful said:


> Relieved. Decided to give my friendly neighborhood ER a visit after my heart started doing weird **** its never done. everything came backgreat. likely side effect from recent medications.
> 
> First car, then arrhythmia. Yesterday was not my day. Today will be better.


Glad you're ok. :smile2:


----------



## Vladislavkari

I'm feeling upset because I just got suspended from my job.


----------



## SparklingWater

Kevin001 said:


> Glad you're ok. :smile2:


Thanks :grin2: I am too. Was scared for a little bit. The med I'm on is also known to possibly cause some panic and anxiety so I may have been overeacting to begin with. I'm not a doctor person though, so the fact I was scared and actually went lol says something.


----------



## Kevin001

realisticandhopeful said:


> I'm not a doctor person though, so the fact I was scared and actually went lol says something.


Same....it has to be serious for me to go.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Still sick with this cold/flu


----------



## whereistheoffswitch

ShatteredGlass said:


> Thanks for showing concern. I didn't end up cutting myself, but the past few days have not been kind to me.
> 
> It was a nightmarish experience. I almost feel like a changed person, especially considering the fact that I don't feel particularly empty, anymore.


No problem matey  we are all strange creatures that can be bought down by loads of different issues, including ourselves and our own thoughts, and there is nothing wrong with voicing it.

I've been down there before when everything is bleak and it's horrid. Hopefully you're feeling better and have a healthier state of mind becasue seriously, you never know what is around the corner.

Our brains are muscles are just like another other part of our bodies, if it gets damaged it can take time to heal and even more so as it affects our minds, perception and way of thinking so all I'm saying is that if it feels like your the only one that maybe taking time to heal, you aint!... which is good, cos it means we're all normal!

If none of this helps (I don't know if it will) then just know that we're all human and we should try n look after each other. Have a chat with your doc. Hopefully he's alright and down to earth and can sort something out for you like a couple of pills or whatever (a weekend break or what not) or something to take the edge off. Even just a couple of beers (if you find the right one) can do it. I just have a couple of stubbies every now and again. Can really help relax and calm me down.


----------



## NotTheBus

im feeling good


----------



## HobbitInHell

Feeling a little sad. Certain person wants me to trust them, but again and again they keep breaking my trust and then acts as if it isn't a big deal. Then moans at me for not trusting them. Plus have another review coming up at work and if I haven't developed super human speed by the time it comes up, I will be fired.


----------



## cosmicslop

I feel terrible and unmotivated. Over the weekend I caught a cold and started my period at the same time. I want to die.


----------



## TryingMara

Despondent.


----------



## Crisigv

Canadian Brotha said:


> Still sick with this cold/flu


I'm sorry you ended up getting sick.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Crisigv said:


> I'm sorry you ended up getting sick.


I think the worst of it is over now, but thanks


----------



## ShatteredGlass

really out of my league and it sucks ***


----------



## SparklingWater

Excited and worried and nervous


----------



## Unknown Trooper

Extremely depressed. I'm not even sure what triggered it. I can point at a few things, but I don't have the clarity to go further down that introspective path. I've been struggling these past few weeks so I suppose (hope) this is rock bottom and I'll only go up from here.


----------



## TryingMara

Crappy. Stomach, back, head and throat all hurt. Plus I feel achy and legs are exhausted.


----------



## SparklingWater

Really sad. :frown2:


----------



## catcharay

The blues but coming out of it. I took half seroquel tablet last night, it's an obvious measure I have to do.


----------



## thomasjune

Down and out. My SA really whipped my butt today. Can't wait for the weekend so I can lock myself up in my home(away from people)for a while.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

Nervous about this laser eye surgery consultation.
Anxious about life in general. 

Just gotta let things run their course and work on stuff because I have no control over things and worrying is useless in the long run. 
Sigh.


----------



## Mc Borg

Not good.


----------



## Zatch

Punishing someone I want to cherish. Never quite get used to it, generally being a softie.

Feelsbadman.


----------



## Jamesinwriting

I'm afraid of looking sickly and tired tomorrow at class. I'm going to the doctor this weekend to finally start putting an end to my health problems. I think I lack iron or maybe deficient in some vitamin or something. I want to have energy to do the things that I want. I don't have friends. I need to start making at least one.


----------



## HobbitInHell

Despite many things I could be miserable about I am actually feeling good.


----------



## Nitrogen

It feels like a part of me has died. I feel hollow.


----------



## feels

Lonely as ****. I need a change.


----------



## The Library of Emma

does it even matter anymore...


----------



## kivi

I'm feeling better. We learned about my roommate's blood test results few days ago. Turns out my roommate has vitamin B12 deficiency and the doctor gave her needles and medication, now she feels better. The doctor says she has an infection too but she's not a specialist so it's better for us to also see a specialist for that. Overall, I'm happy she feels better now.


----------



## SofaKing

Hopeless and alone. I'm never getting what I want.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

Not good


----------



## catcharay

I don't feel like trying. More down than up days.


----------



## riverbird

Emotional and broken. I scheduled a vet appointment for tomorrow to put my 16 year old cat down.


----------



## Jamesinwriting

Still feeling absolutely lethargic so I decided to skip 3rd day of school. Pretty disappointed at my health.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Utterly depressed and uninspired.


----------



## Kevin001

Anxious, I hope I don't have a panic attack when I go to my class later...ugh.


----------



## cybernaut

Mood? Bitter,broken. I just want to unmeet so many people who Ive encountered in the recent past. Why the f^ck do I always encounter the worst kinds of people when I'm out and about. 

Sent from my LG-H811 using Tapatalk


----------



## SparklingWater

Enlightened, embarrassed. What am i doing differently today?


----------



## rabiesraccoon

I'm feeling tremendously nervous. I'm starting a new job on Monday. I'm having trouble sleeping because of the anxiety that it's causing me. However, how I'm dealing with it compared to how I would have dealt with it 10 years ago is very telling to how much my head space has improved. I'm coping, admittedly poorly, but I'm coping. I wouldn't have been able to cope with it at all prior. So I'm just trying to keep affirming myself that everything is going to be okay and that it's going to be a good change. I'm sure the anticipation is the worst of it. Once I actually start the job and get in the groove of things the anxiety will die away.


----------



## TryingMara

Upset, gross, miserable all around.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Meh. Just feeling a bit down. 

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## Azazello

lost


----------



## SparklingWater

Tired and silly


----------



## Mc Borg

Azazello said:


> lost


This is how I always feel. I remember you saying that you liked TMV so. This lyric used to be my signature on another forum.

Now, I'm lost...


----------



## ShySouth

hopeless, sad, tired


----------



## tea111red

zzzzZZZzzzZZZzzz


----------



## TryingMara

Nervous and worn out.


----------



## Dark Choco

I'm slowly dissociating...


----------



## SofaKing

Abandoned and devalued.


----------



## Crisigv

My body is constantly in pain. The way I move sometimes reminds me of a rusty robot.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

I feel down, a little sad. 

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## Azazello

@Mc Borg
That's one helluva good memory you have there... 
P.S. Great song.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Well, I just finished crying.


----------



## kivi

Curious and anxious. I have a new lesson called "Aesthetic and Architecture" today. My classmates and instructor will be people I don't know.


----------



## Mur

Highly motivated


----------



## Ai

A little less depressed today. I even sang a little bit on Smule (a karaoke app), which I haven't done in ages...


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, lonely, all of which is my fault I guess.


----------



## AllTheSame

Missing someone a lot lately. Also missing my kids...looking forward to seeing them this weekend.

Otherwise feeling ok. I'm using work as a distraction lately. That has benefits I guess. I got with my old boss and convinced him to give me one of his displays. It's nice, it's a "wow" display and costs the company I work for a few hundred bucks each. It took a little while to put it tigether, stock it and tag it but I'm getting paid anyway so may as well, plus i got a nice bonus out of it. I took pics, sent them to my new boss and she went gaga over it. She wants to get them in every one of our stores. She's going to mention it in the conference call Friday.

I love my job. And I realize I'm lucky to be doing something i love...it doesn't even feel like work a lot of the time tbh. But I'm still depressed and anxious and dealing with grief. I'm a lot happier now doing what I love, and not even putting in 40 hours a week (but getting paid). I guess having a career doing what I love should be all that matters buts it's just not for me. I want more than that, that's not all I want, it's not enough for me lol, and I feel guilty for wanting so much more. But I do...I want friends I hang out with once in a while. And yeah I'm still hoping Miss Right is out there. I can dream, ffs. Just leave me with my delusions, ffs...let me continue to believe it's still possible....


----------



## Ai

Just found out my health plan is switching, therefore I have a new primary care physician that sounds wonderful (I hate my current doctor's office so much) and I might finally actually have a potential therapist lined up... Things are looking up! I am so excited and relieved.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

I'm feeling mostly okay. 

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Sad, I feel sad.


----------



## Ai

I'm feeling a little bit excited, a little bit suspicious... Got dressed up and dropped off a resume with a local boutique I've already applied to at least twice before (with no luck), not really expecting anything... and I got an interview! Today has been so positive and productive! I'm waiting for the catch... or my alarm clock...

Now I'm kind of terrified about the interview, though... lol


----------



## Nitrogen

Really exhausted. My workload has doubled, if not tripled these past two weeks. I also feel really alone and just unsure of myself around people. It seems like everyone does everything within their capability to not be around me or interact with me. The only place I feel like I belong is at my ASD group. :\


----------



## Kandice

I'm wondering how pathetic it would be to buy myself roses lol


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Nvm, wow, I can't make my mind. Im actually crying right now. :'(


----------



## Kevin001

Meh ok just annoyed with this message saying Error 503 Backend is unhealthy....ugh.


----------



## sad1231234

Awful


----------



## Crisigv

Feels like I'm cramping, but I'm not.


----------



## Ai

Sore, tired, panicky... Of course my insane, unpredictable endometriosis-level period had to start today... the day before the first interview I've managed to get in months... I knew the weird streak of luck I experienced yesterday was bound to haunt me. Now I have to figure out how to sell the best version of myself on the most painful day of my already debilitating cycle...

Just shoot me.


----------



## bad baby

lim(powersofconcentration(badbaby))=0

can only study in semi-evanescent bursts of mental clarity.
am like a short distance sprinter;
am the usain bolt of studying.
(#o>~<)o


----------



## Ai

Relieved, kind of hopeful. I don't want to jinx myself, but my interview seemed to go really well! The woman conducting it appeared fairly happy with the thoroughness and thoughtfulness of my answers and she even remarked that they had been discussing the benefit of getting someone younger in to expand the reach of their demographic a bit... That is one thing I can do. Exist while relatively young... At least for a little while. ;P 

I'm scared to get my hopes up too high... but I'm just going to ride the good mood endorphins for at least a few more minutes.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Im doing okay, just a little down but I'm doing alright. 

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

I barely have to bend down and my back starts hurting. I feel so old.


----------



## harrison

Woke up with a slight headache - not that surprising as I stopped my pills again recently. (for bipolar) I was on a fairly high dose and they started making me feel very sick through the night. I also had just stopped seeing my shrink - my last visit with him really annoyed and disappointed me. I had been feeling very down and his lack of any ideas or suggestions pissed me off. I've never had much faith in him - or any of them to be honest. I've never had a shrink I trust - I think they just have varying levels of incompetence. It's terrible that we need to put our faith in these people when it's obvious they have so little idea of what to do themselves.


----------



## AllTheSame

Sore. Tired. Hurting. But otherwise....really pretty blessed. The last 24 hours have been scary, and strange, and just emotionally exhausting, ffs. But I've survived.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted & burnt out


----------



## farfegnugen

Tired from my workout and uncertain about where I'm at.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

I'm feeling sad  down. 

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## SparklingWater

Discouraged, despondent, jealous, hopeful:smile2:

Hey everything's a learning experience and this **** is being dealt with and my life's about to get much better


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I have a headache


----------



## Kevin001

Tired, I've been up too damn long.


----------



## The Library of Emma

really incredibly calm, for the first time in a while, calm and centered.


----------



## Were

I've been having headaches too because of the flu.


----------



## HobbitInHell

Happy! Got two days off from work! Well am likely to spend them bored and feeling lonely but at least I will stay in the safe zone away from humans


----------



## Nitrogen

Really depressed and uncertain.


----------



## HobbitInHell

@Nitrogen Sorry to hear that


----------



## riverbird

Very anxious and confused.


----------



## Kevin001

Excited ready to explore.


----------



## ShadowOne

like ****


----------



## SouthWest

Considering the weekend I just had I'm feeling healthy again. I came down with norovirus on Saturday, which caused me major stomach pains and a bathroom visit every 20 minutes. I woke up this morning and my bodily functions are back to normal.

Of course it had to happen over the weekend.


----------



## HobbitInHell

Tired, and lonely.


----------



## SparklingWater

Really happy, remembered something I'd forgotten. Feel much better


----------



## psai

Don't feel like to trust anyone any more. I can barely understand why the world is being so cold to me.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Not good.


----------



## bad baby

hateselfhateselfhateselfhateselfrarararararrrrrrr―


----------



## Ai

Significantly less hopeful. A sponsored advertisement for that local boutique opening just popped up on my Facebook feed and in the comments, a woman had tagged another young, really attractive-looking woman with impeccable make-up game. One of the main things I had going for me, judging by the manager's closing statements in my interview, was my age... but I'm definitely not attractive by any contemporary definition.

Sigh.

So there goes that.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Horrible


----------



## Ai

On the other hand, the completely awesome birthday gift I ordered for my sister arrived today. I'm pretty stoked about that.


----------



## twistix

Useless


----------



## Crisigv

Awful, I deserve to die


----------



## TryingMara

miserable


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I was feeling pretty good until I went to the toilet. :frown2:


----------



## Lostintheshuffle

Tired. Grumpy and I don't want to go to work tomorrow @[email protected]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ShadowOne




----------



## Crisigv

Feels like I can't control my emotions anymore. I'm getting away from myself. I feel like I'm broken and can't be fixed. I should be locked in a room and never let out. I'm sure that's how I'll die.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Numb.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Buzzed. :3​


----------



## tea111red

zzzZZzzZZZzz


----------



## ejayluckie

I am feeling very sad, anxious, and tired. I can't sleep because I wake up in the middle of the night because I have panic attacks in my sleep and I just wake up throughout the night feeling extremely paranoid.


----------



## sandromeda

hungry, bitter, and lonely


----------



## Kevin001

Annoyed....I have no time for games.


----------



## kivi

I feel so angry and worthless thinking some people don't care about me when I do for them.


----------



## Kevin001

Meh....pretty good. Ended a relationship before it started....phew.


----------



## 629753

good, after a meditation


----------



## slyfox

Dead tired


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Angry and sad. Angry because my brother is being a huge *******. Sad because I know he's that way for the most part because of depression and anxiety.


----------



## Mikaylaxoxo

I want to kill myself because I'll always be lonely and jobless because i'm a social failure


----------



## SofaKing

Irrelevant, discarded, ignored, hated. I'm not even worth being acknowledged.


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling much better than I have all week. Physical wounds are healing, cuts and bruises from my wreck are getting much better. I wonder how much of that is just psychological...the fact that it's Friday and I'll have my kids for the weekend lol. I'm sure some of it is but hey I'll take it. Today is really the first day where I feel somewhat normal again, after the wreck a week ago.


----------



## Zozulya

Tired, want to lock myself into my room for at least two weeks.


----------



## thomasjune

Tired but the weekend is here so I feel good.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Terrible physically and mentally


----------



## Wanderlust26

I'm glad I got the unemployment insurance application over with. I'm anxious about the potential phone interview but the worst that can happen is I don't get it, so I'm gonna try to not stress over it too much.


----------



## Jamesinwriting

I'm incredibly anxious right now because I'm looking to meet, well just see though not meet, the biggest crush of my life tomorrow.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Spent


----------



## twistix

SofaKing said:


> Irrelevant, discarded, ignored, hated. I'm not even worth being acknowledged.


I think you're worth it


----------



## SofaKing

twistix said:


> I think you're worth it


Thanks, that's sweet of you to say. Made me smile.


----------



## twistix

SofaKing said:


> Thanks, that's sweet of you to say. Made me smile.


Glad to make you smile :]


----------



## riverbird

Confused.


----------



## himemiko

Lonely. worthless. a coward. crappy.


----------



## Citrine79

At least it is the weekend and I am not at work, otherwise I feel dejected and discouraged, the slight bit of positivity and hope I had is gone and I fear will not return for a long time to come. I am just about to give up on trying to be positive and upbeat, it never lasts long and something always seems to come along and bring me right back down again.


----------



## xylo

I'm feeling quite profoundly sad right now. I can't make sense of it all.

I feel like an alien amongst humans. I feel like I've been beamed down from some distant planet and I have no idea where my home is or where my fellow aliens are. I drift through my daily routine interacting with these humans but they seem to speak a totally different language. There's this knot in my gut; this deep melancholy, yet these humans show no signs whatsoever of sharing my angst. The beliefs I feel strongly about, they mock and ridicule. The ideals I value, they violate and disregard.

I feel I want a friend. I want to talk to a loser, a mess, a weak, scared, confused freak and we can console each other. But I'm scared to meet any more new people because it seems like the more people I get to know the more I realise that there's nobody out there on my wavelength, and I hate hurting people. I hate getting to know someone and then cutting them off. It makes me feel horrible.

I feel like I'm losing my spirit, my idea of what it means to be a friend, I feel like my love is growing cold. I'm becoming cynical and hateful and so so angry at the injustice of everything. There's just so much that pisses me off these days; so many people I disagree with; so many things I disapprove of. There are so many issues where people take sides, but the truth is often way more complicated and subtle and falls inbetween.

I feel like a man who, for his whole life, has been overtaxed by thousands of pounds, but due to his naive obedience and an accidental oversight at the tax office, this gross burden has gone totally unnoticed. Yet everyday the man soldiers on, only with a vague sense that his life seems to be harder than it ought to be, but he has no idea why. And I feel like I'm desperately hoping that a day will come when someone from the tax office will knock on my door and say "I'm terribly sorry but we've made a grave error. You've been massively overcharged your entire life. Infact we're incredibly impressed you've managed to survive this far, despite your huge burden. As a token of our deepest apologies, here is all the money we owe you, paid back in double with interest! Go and enjoy the rest of your life!".

I feel like I'm waiting for a representative from the Heavens to come down and apologise to me; that they somehow lost my paperwork and all these years I've been missing out on the benefits that have been lavished on the rest of the human race.

But what does that tell you? That I'm not taking responsibility for my own life? But that's not true. I have been trying very, very hard. It's not as simple as that; as saying "if you're sad, it's your own fault". I'm sad, _despite _trying my best. I'm sad because life is really really hard. Maybe it's just gratitude that I lack. But that's not true either. I've spent huge amounts of my time and energy reminding myself of how lucky I am and how grateful I should be. But it's not enough.

I think maybe I just need to find a few fellow aliens to make me feel less alone.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

attuned to the reality that im trash


----------



## Citrine79

Have a post-migrane hangover now...feeling queasy and lackluster. Always extra anxious on Sunday nights for the upcoming work week plus my area is going to get slammed by a big winter storm.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm in my usual physical pain, which can make me miserable, along with everything else.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

About as low as one can without being suicidal



ShatteredGlass said:


> attuned to the reality that im trash


There's a way to describe it


----------



## Wanderlust26

Feeling empty.


----------



## Ai

Unappealing, unwanted, kind of lonely. Neurotic.


----------



## riverbird

Confused, lonely, kind of worthless.


----------



## Zatch

Excited for tomorrow. Hope I don't mess anything up and it goes optimally. Even if it does go sideways, I'll survive. I'm quite resilient.


----------



## Mur

Annoyed, I have some unexpected b.s to deal with


----------



## Kevin001

Stressed....lots of stuff to do.


----------



## scott83

Severely depressed. Our pet guinea pig passed away yesterday, he was like a son to me. Pets love and don't judge like people do.


----------



## TryingMara

Depleted, no motivation or energy whatsoever.
@scott83: I'm so sorry, losing a pet is heartbreaking. Animals really do love better and are more loyal companions than humans. Hang in there.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

at peace

and, as always, it's weird


----------



## Meow2907

Feeling horrible and exhausted. I am on my second day of work placement and feel so out of place.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Horrid


----------



## SparklingWater

Embarrassed


----------



## ZombieIcecream

impedido10 said:


> good, after a meditation


Ugh I've been slacking - but that's awesome. how long do you normally meditate for and is there a specific type that you enjoy ? I had a pretty bizarre experience last time I meditated.


----------



## CelineG86

I felt better after chatting with some members earlier.  It was fun!


----------



## I Beethoven

Really in despair to be honest


----------



## copper

I have a bad head cold. I feel like crap. Called in yesterday and will again today. I hate being off due to I have tons of things to get done. Stupid people come to work coughing all over spreading their germs and it is always the smokers that get sick and then spread their germs.


----------



## 629753

ZombieIcecream said:


> Ugh I've been slacking - but that's awesome. how long do you normally meditate for and is there a specific type that you enjoy ? I had a pretty bizarre experience last time I meditated.


I meditate about 5 or 10 minutes, and i do mindfulness.

What happened with you?


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Very down.  

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## SouthWest

I'm having a good day. I received a cheque from Revenue and Customs for £769.02 because I paid too much tax last year.

It's the best news I've had in ages.


----------



## Kevin001

SouthWest said:


> I'm having a good day. I received a cheque from Revenue and Customs for £769.02 because I paid too much tax last year.
> 
> It's the best news I've had in ages.


Damn congrats bro. :smile2:


----------



## scott83

TryingMara said:


> Depleted, no motivation or energy whatsoever.
> 
> @*scott83* : I'm so sorry, losing a pet is heartbreaking. Animals really do love better and are more loyal companions than humans. Hang in there.


Thank you. I'm trying my best but I miss the little guy so much.


----------



## Neal

I'm really not content with this stage of life (whatever this is) that I'm in right now. I feel like my life is on standby.


----------



## tehuti88

:crying:


----------



## slyfox

Depressed. Just want things to be better


----------



## a1son

anxious
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## AllTheSame

Awesome


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad, and scared. I don't want to give up, but I feel paralyzed.


----------



## solasum

authentic


----------



## AffinityWing

Scared because I have to make a call to the banking assistance number from my bank since I got locked out of my account for answering my security question wrong too many times and now it doesn't seem they'll let me back in unless you call. I'm worried I'll have to talk to a person and not fix it just with the robot. ffs Last time I talked to a complete stranger on the phone I nearly got a full-blown panic attack so I think I've been scarred from doing it even more, ever since.


----------



## AllTheSame

I don't have an agenda
All I do is pretend to be ok so my friends
Can't see my heart in the blender
Lately, I've been killing all my time
Reading through your messages my favorite way to die
Take my head and kick it in
Break some bread for all my sins
Say a word, do it soon
It's too quiet in this room


----------



## riverbird

Confused about life.


----------



## catcharay

I feel good that I got things done today. Now I feel lagged because I relied on valium to get it done.


----------



## Kevin001

Annoyed by people at work.


----------



## Zatch

Super duper tired. Someone write me a lullaby? Pleeease.


----------



## ZombieIcecream

impedido10 said:


> I meditate about 5 or 10 minutes, and i do mindfulness.
> 
> What happened with you?


[edit]

Had a strange reaction to Selenite and Amethyst.


----------



## tea111red

pfft. lonely.


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good. I have a weekend coming up, some much needed time, to myself. I have disposable income lol, I just don't have anywhere to spend it...and *sigh* I'm not in the mood and don't have the desire to date right now, ffs....I can't even think that way. Maybe I'll take in a movie. There's a movie theatre not far from me that has leather recliners, that is just awesome, I've been there once maybe I'll check that out again. You can even order a beer or a rum and coke and take it in with you. The idea of that just blows me away lol.


----------



## xylo

I just vented on Muttr. Was it naive to hope for a little sympathy? Probably. A guy at my work is a Man Utd fan and I'm an Arsenal fan and he's been getting pretty brutal recently with the abuse, to the point where I've been trying to convey to him that it's getting uncomfortable, but the more he realises this the more he seems to relish that he's got to me. And I know, it's "just banter" apparently, and if I have a problem with it then I'm just a "snowflake", but it really doesn't feel right to me. The thing is, I don't fight back AT ALL. I'm just not like that. I don't do banter, and I never slag off other clubs. And yet he still seems to think it's ok to dish it out and to remind me how humiliating it must be to be an Arsenal fan, and how "even the sperm of Schmeichel is better than Arsenal". I could probably find the funny side if I wasn't subjected to this day after day. I hate that people think this behaviour is acceptable; that it's "just banter". Maybe if I were the type that gave as good as he got, I couldn't complain, but I don't at all. In fact for years I've been trying to avoid this guy as much as possible, still I can't get away from him. I feel like he's boxing a pedestrian. I'm just trying to pass by, while he's intent on a fight. It doesn't seem right to continuously fire potshots at a person who never fires back. And of course, the wounds of my socially anxious past reopen at times like these, making the whole ordeal so much more weighted, and I'm losing sleep, ruminating on whether I'm justified in feeling this anxiety, or whether I'm just an overly sensitive snowflake and should just shut up and take the abuse


----------



## Ai

Angry. I called my local cell service carrier to ask if they still sold Samsung Galaxy s5 replacement batteries. The woman who took my call informed me, regrettably, that they no longer carry batteries at all because newer devices apparently don't even allow you to open the compartment--so there's no point.

That is some SUPREME bullsh*t. Like, some masterful, maniacal, obscene, electronic-waste-compounding, consumer-screwing ****ery... So someday down the line, when I have no choice but to purchase a new device, I will have to then _chuck_ that (irrationally expensive) device the moment the battery stops functioning properly? REALLY?

#****PlannedObsolescence
#SorryI'mSwearingSoMuch
#AndUsingHashtags
#IveGoneFullTumblr
#But****
#lolbutt****

It also seems like I have no choice but to buy some shady, pretending-to-be-OEM aftermarket battery that might just destroy my device....

Siiiiigh


----------



## SparklingWater

embarrassed lol
bored
curious
hesitantly open 
excited


----------



## Chris S W

I feel ok. Although a little anxious and guilty because I think I just made a catastrophic social blunder. But, live and learn.


----------



## zonebox

Feeling pretty good right now.

The last few months have been bad, but I think I have snapped out of it and resumed the usual zonebox demeanor. I have _nine_ beers in the refrigerator, that are nice and cold, an ecig full of nicotine, a game to play, and am thinking tonight is gonna be good.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

My soul is hurting


----------



## SparklingWater

resigned yet relieved. was pushing myself way too hard.


----------



## EBecca

bored, lonely, wishing to have more courage to be myself


----------



## BlackRedFoxx

I'm not really sure. There's some much going on and I just wish that things would be simple for once. I miss being playful, mischievous and imaginative but I just don't like to re-take actions when I get no results. I'm tired of being rejected by people and my mind is set. So I do know what I want to do but realism is holding me back.


----------



## SofaKing

Not bad, I guess. It's a cold-grey day, unfortunately and I'm really itching to get back to the spring and sunshine making it nice to walk the city streets and hike the nearby trails as well.


Trying to be productive despite being inside. I haven't gotten the motivation to do my taxes, ugh...but I did get out to grocery shop and I made some humus and pickled some carrots for later use.


Ob bla di, ob bla da, life goes on.


----------



## IzzyWizzy

Been really bored today, don't go back to work til tuesday. 
Weather has been crap. 
Wish we could get some sun soon, there's places I want to visit.


----------



## Barakiel

That feeling when you're basically doing okay, but you also know a huge wave of anxiety has the potential to hit sometime in the near future. Not sure if that makes sense but it's a hard feeling to describe. :blank


----------



## Nitrogen

Like I wish I could die, yeah.


----------



## SparklingWater

Sad, but relieved. It was the right decision. Therapy here I come lol! Certain flavors of f-ed up can only be addressed by a psychologist. It's all good though, motion forwards tends to reveal other areas that could use salve.


----------



## catcharay

I'm really relating to Jane's (Jane Eyre) feelings about having a good life but still feeling stagnant, just as if you've been in a rocking chair for too long, it would do you a world of good to have a walk outside to fill your nostrils in that fresh air, as she put her metaphor. I don't know what that fresh walk outside is though or that "lust" for life is.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired af


----------



## AllTheSame

Feeling good but can't seem to wind down. Which. Is OK, I guess considering I've gotten a ton of sleep lately. I'm being mostly useless and playing on my PlayStation but I'm otherwise happy, even if that's what teenagers are doing on a Saturday night. I have zero interest in doing adult things like dating right now....it's almost pathetic how little interest I have. I don't want the drama, and the games, I've been through that and I just don't have the energy now lol. When it comes to having regrets about being alone on a Saturday night right now....I couldn't care less. I'm actually very, very glad that I'm not putting all my time, energy and money into a date that might not even take off. I'm glad I'm not dealing with the anxiety of all that. I might change my mind in the future and I would really love to be dating the right woman right now, but....I just don't have the energy lmao. I'd rather be sitting at home. The dating scene sucks lol, it really, really sucks.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Utterly lonely.


----------



## AllTheSame

I'm feeling kind of "blah". I think I'm so used to having stress-related stomach aches now, it doesn't even phase me any more lol. I'd make a doctor's appointment for it, for the twentieth time, but all they're gonna do is poke and prod me, do a million tests and then tell me they have no idea. "Well I have good news, all your tests came back negative, it's probably stress related". Which means "I can't help you". And it's not like I haven't been persistent, I've been to the ER I think five times, and to half a dozen different doctors in the last ten years. Oh well. I should probably try to eat something. I forced myself to eat some soup yesterday and that was all, and haven't eaten a single thing yet today. I hate how my anxiety manifests itself. But I realize it's not fun for anyone lol.


----------



## Autumn Toki

Sad and a little hopeless today. Overwhelmed with my mental check list. Some people have diet cheat days, I have don't give a **** rest brain days. A day that I don't push myself with any new challenges. I've made today one. I feel safe but a failure.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel sick


----------



## AllTheSame

Awesome, on top of the world. Work today was a very, very big deal and it couldn't have gone better. There were more people there, more teams than I expected. We were all seated in a huge conference room in a big cirle. We went around and made introductions, name, team you're on, product line and territory because a whole lot of us hadn't met before. Instead of explaining my territory I said "wherever (my boss) tells me to be" and that got some laughs. I made eye contact with the presenters and did just fine, I was really calm today. The VP of sales for the entire SW United States was there and had to leave a little early but made a point of saying goodbye to me and the other client mgr that was there personally as he left. I've been on conference calls with him before but that was pretty awesome coming from him, because he's usually pretty analytic, and not always the most personable guy. We all had lunch and then stayed in the conference room rest of the day to catch up and talk business, and I'm amazed at how calm and like "myself", normal, I felt.


Something else kind of awesome / strange / unexpected happened near the end of the day. The woman who I was flirting with and who eventually ended up asking me out last year was there, she's one the regular sales people. We had a little falling out last year. We started to get to know each other, talked some and I put the brakes on....for, well, really good reasons that I do not regret at all, and never will, but anyway to say she was pissed off and hurt would be really underestimating things. We haven't talked in probably six months, at least. Anyway toward the end of the day she came up to me and said hi, and smiled, and made a little bit of small talk. I guess she's gotten over it...it not working out. She was a little awkward and stumbling over words a bit, but she asked if she could give me her number, she wanted to call me later this week and talk, because she "had a question". Which. Is the exact same thing she did before the first time she called me last year and we started flirting with each other. Anyway I said sure and put her number in my phone (even though it was still in there). She might just have a question. She might want to tell me off (again). She might want to just talk, about work, or about what happened between us, Idk. But I'm gonna keep it professional. I'm not gonna go down any of the same roads with her again lol. Besides, if I did, it would look really, reeeally bad this time. She doesn't report to me or anything, I'm a client manager and she's sales rep, I just overlay what she does and try to work with store managers more to get promotions, I work trade shows, all that. So it's not like she reports to me, in any way. It would just look reeeally bad if we were to go down that road again and I swear to God I'm never doing that again.


----------



## solasum

Strangely fine.


----------



## zonebox

Laying in my room, listening to meditative style music, watching my artificial candles flicker and give off a very mellow glow, casting gentle shadows about the room, while my a/c blows a cool breeze past my body. 

I have my tablet set to the lowest brightness, and participating in a forum full of fine people.

Everything is pretty good right now.


----------



## fluorish

I am a horrible horrible person


----------



## zonebox

Tonight is another beer night  I'm about to put them in the freezer for an hour, to cool them down, then it is time to get silly. 

Even crazier than normal!


----------



## Mc Borg

Good. Only because of phenibut, though. 

Sad. lol.


----------



## Ai

Annoyed. I accidentally watched a pilot from Amazon's "Pilot Season"... which means there isn't any more... and very well may never be. 


I should pay better attention. lol

-_-


----------



## AllTheSame

Very amused....


----------



## Mur

Beyond amused, let's play....


----------



## HaydenMJ12

Scared, uncertain, and insecure. There's always a way out, though..


----------



## SofaKing

Life is cruel sometimes...so cruel.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Wanderlust26

Empty and alone.


----------



## Schmetterling

as usual... nothing changes


----------



## BAH

Itch every time I sweat..annoying


----------



## kivi

I feel horrible. It's the first time I'm crying next to my roommate. She asked me "what's wrong", I said "nothing" . I have been feeling very negative of myself lately. I feel so worthless.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

unimpressed that's for damn sure


----------



## boymeetsworld

Uninterested and floating.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mixed emotions.


----------



## SparklingWater

hopeful. default position lol.


----------



## Ai

I'm still in something of a bubble of shock and disbelief... which is surely going to be followed by blind terror, but...

I finally got hired! :O

The hours are _quite_ few, at least probably until the summer season, I'm guessing; but I honestly don't mind. It'll help me ease back into things, perhaps. Spending this long hiding from people has undone all the progress I'd previously made with my anxiety.



SamanthaStrange said:


> Mixed emotions.


Hey, you're back! Hello! Welcome back!


----------



## SplendidBob

Ai said:


> I'm still in something of a bubble of shock and disbelief... which is surely going to be followed by blind terror, but...
> 
> I finally got hired! :O


Congrats


----------



## TheWelshOne

Ai said:


> I'm still in something of a bubble of shock and disbelief... which is surely going to be followed by blind terror, but...
> 
> I finally got hired! :O
> 
> The hours are _quite_ few, at least probably until the summer season, I'm guessing; but I honestly don't mind. It'll help me ease back into things, perhaps. Spending this long hiding from people has undone all the progress I'd previously made with my anxiety.


:yay Congratulations!


----------



## Ai

splendidbob said:


> Congrats





TheWelshOne said:


> :yay Congratulations!


Thanks! :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ai said:


> I'm still in something of a bubble of shock and disbelief... which is surely going to be followed by blind terror, but...
> 
> I finally got hired! :O
> 
> The hours are _quite_ few, at least probably until the summer season, I'm guessing; but I honestly don't mind. It'll help me ease back into things, perhaps. Spending this long hiding from people has undone all the progress I'd previously made with my anxiety.
> 
> Hey, you're back! Hello! Welcome back!


Hey! Thanks! 

And congrats on your new job! :yay


----------



## SofaKing

Tired...long week...heading out to India next week for the following 2 weeks.

Lonely...utterly.

Despite it being a decent day, I'm feeling down...way down...6ft under.


----------



## Wanderlust26

I'm so relieved I got the phone interview for the unemployment benefits over with. It's been weighing on my mind for weeks and now I can think about other things and enjoy my time. I was nervous of course, voice was kind of shaking, blanked out once, and a small part of me wanted to skip it, but I'm glad I did it and I'm counting that as part of exposure therapy.

At the end, I said "thank you a lot." -_- Why must I say retarded things when I'm nervous?


----------



## Kevin001

Wanderlust26 said:


> I'm so relieved I got the phone interview for the unemployment benefits over with. It's been weighing on my mind for weeks and now I can think about other things and enjoy my time. I was nervous of course, voice was kind of shaking, blanked out once, and a small part of me wanted to skip it, but I'm glad I did it and I'm counting that as part of exposure therapy.
> 
> At the end, I said "thank you a lot." -_- Why must I say retarded things when I'm nervous?


Oh wow congrats, you don't work anymore though?


----------



## pied vert

who cares how anyone is feeling HOLY SH**


----------



## pied vert

im so lonesome I could cry


----------



## Crisigv

Brand new day, same old me. I feel like crap, look like crap. Glad I slept half the day away.


----------



## LostinReverie

All over the ****ing place. Mostly annoyed af... but that's completely normal for me. Regardless, like ****. Really, really, really wish I had someone to talk to.


----------



## nekineko

Feeling weird... very shaky today. Kept waking up every hour starting at 6:30 am this morning. I wanted to let myself to sleep late today, but my body didn't want me to


----------



## Wanderlust26

Kevin001 said:


> Oh wow congrats, you don't work anymore though?


Thanks. And no, I got fired for excessive absences.


----------



## Kevin001

Wanderlust26 said:


> Thanks. And no, I got fired for excessive absences.


Oh ok I think I read a post of yours talking about that. Was your absences anxiety related?


----------



## Wanderlust26

Kevin001 said:


> Oh ok I think I read a post of yours talking about that. Was your absences anxiety related?


No, it was mainly due to lack of sleep (3 hours each work night) and depression. Also, I had asked an assistant manager if I could stock in a different department because the pharmacy department wore out my legs from repeatedly kneeling and getting up. Apparently she didn't believe me because she assigned me there even more. I became weaker partly due to that, so I'm hoping I'll get the unemployment benefits for that reason.


----------



## Kevin001

Wanderlust26 said:


> No, it was mainly due to lack of sleep (3 hours each work night) and depression. Also, I had asked an assistant manager if I could stock in a different department because the pharmacy department wore out my legs from repeatedly kneeling and getting up. Apparently she didn't believe me because she assigned me there even more. I became weaker partly due to that, so I'm hoping I'll get the unemployment benefits for that reason.


Oh ok so are you looking for another job now? Unemployment won't be a lot I don't think.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Kevin001 said:


> Oh ok so are you looking for another job now? Unemployment won't be a lot I don't think.


Not yet, I want to see if I'll get the benefits first. I do have a good amount of savings that will last me a few months if I add it to the benefits. I do want a break from working. Just a few weeks or so....


----------



## Kevin001

Wanderlust26 said:


> Not yet, I want to see if I'll get the benefits first. I do have a good amount of savings that will last me a few months if I add it to the benefits. I do want a break from working. Just a few weeks or so....


Oh ok :smile2:

Working is such a grind.


----------



## Ai

Annoyed. Now that my new insurance is finally days from going into effect, the therapist I _switched_ plans for seems to be giving me the run around... First, she stopped responding, point blank, for weeks. Now she's acting like we've never been in contact before and is requesting information I already gave her.

Whatever.

Somehow, I knew it wasn't going to actually happen.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad, cold, and hated. Not that anyone cares.


----------



## tea111red

it's hard getting up the energy to write this thing.


----------



## Schmetterling

Really bad but what can i do? complain? nah I just swallow my pain and listen to music.


----------



## Todos los fuegos

I'm very lonely, what makes me feel so sad and hopeless.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i'm so ****ing livid!!! again!! thanks for ignoring me you stupid *****! this sort of **** is why i want to be dead


----------



## tea111red

still trying to write this email... lol.


----------



## kivi

I feel excited, I can't sleep.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Kevin001 said:


> Oh ok :smile2:
> 
> Working is such a grind.


Yeah, especially for graveyard shifts. I actually liked my job. It's the coworkers I had a hard time dealing with. As always....


----------



## Kevin001

Wanderlust26 said:


> It's the coworkers I had a hard time dealing with. As always....


Ikr.


----------



## Crisigv

just awful


----------



## 0blank0

Wanting


----------



## tea111red

i still want to be able to not leave the house for awhile.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

i'm just really upset that i act like a sulky little attention seeker and nobody cares even then


----------



## tea111red

bored.


----------



## Bbpuff

Hmn.. I'm feeling kinda meh. I should probably get to sleep soon.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cursed.


----------



## SofaKing

Like I'm half way around the world.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

SofaKing said:


> Like I'm half way around the world.
> 
> Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


But you are half way around the world.


----------



## Cyclonic

Terrible, like I'm alone in the bottom of a pit with no escape.


----------



## Kevin001

Intrigued.


----------



## Mc Borg

Terrible like usual.


----------



## SparklingWater

Happy.


----------



## SofaKing

Crisigv said:


> But you are half way around the world.


Made it despite the bumpy ride from the hotel car service. They need some road work, pronto.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## orchardstreet

Kind of giddy, content, and dare I say, happy.


----------



## overthinker94

feeling very stressed and overwhelmed with my anxiety right now- wishing i could feel care free and relaxed :/


----------



## Barakiel

Tired as always


----------



## SparklingWater

bored, afraid, silly/ridiculous, inferior, jealous, insecure


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mc Borg said:


> Terrible like usual.


Same. :squeeze


----------



## SofaKing

Nervous and anxious. First day at the Bangalore office. So many introductions...so many accents to acclimate to.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

I feel...Down. 

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## Wanderlust26

Depressed, stuck and uninspired.


----------



## SofaKing

Overwhelmed...and nobody to cuddle with for comfort. 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Kevin001

Worried.....I could rise or I could fall.


----------



## kesker

I feel like I didn't even give myself a proper goodbye when I left. I snuck out my own back door and now I have no idea where I went. I've come to resent the sound of voices. I see all these people around me--each with a life force--and they seem so foreign. I wonder how it is they do that.


----------



## Crisigv

SofaKing said:


> Overwhelmed...and nobody to cuddle with for comfort.
> 
> Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


:cuddle


----------



## lostinthemoment

Feeling lonely and bored, like I'm waiting for nothing to happen everyday. Everyone seems so busy with life, and I feel like nobody gets me.


----------



## Absence of Words

I'm behind on my schoolwork and really blah and don't feel like doing anything.


----------



## kivi

weak


----------



## yousawname

Meaningless.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Pissed off as ****.


----------



## 0blank0

Hating myself a little extra now. Guy wants to meet me but all I can think about is how boring and lame I'll be. So therefore, I'm not going to meet him.


----------



## Kevin001

Patch said:


> Hating myself a little extra now. Guy wants to meet me but all I can think about is how boring and lame I'll be. So therefore, I'm not going to meet him.


Go for it! Nothing to lose girl.


----------



## TheInvisibleHand

Kevin001 said:


> Go for it! Nothing to lose girl.


Are you kidding me??


----------



## Kevin001

TheInvisibleHand said:


> Are you kidding me??


:rub


----------



## ZombieIcecream

Patch said:


> Hating myself a little extra now. Guy wants to meet me but all I can think about is how boring and lame I'll be. So therefore, I'm not going to meet him.


"boring and lame" ?

You dont seem to be. I think you are beating yourself up TOO much. But I guess if you aren't currently feeling very great then cancel and reschedule for another day. Hopefully he understands. :]


----------



## TheInvisibleHand

Kevin001 said:


> :rub


It is a great game...not as good as Go but you should try it,but tbh i don't think you have the mental capacity for it.


----------



## Kevin001

TheInvisibleHand said:


> It is a great game...not as good as Go but you should try it,but tbh i don't think you have the mental capacity for it.


Lol


----------



## SofaKing

I'm the square peg in the round hole of life.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed. Lonely. Restless.


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Basically worried about various things, as usual. I'm not too good at talking about it, though.


----------



## catcharay

Sick but I have to do a long drive, and I'm so tired with the need of rest


----------



## SofaKing

The most isolated and hopeless than I've felt in a long time...on edge and my veneer of normalcy is thinning.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## tehuti88

Just wanting it to be over. :crying:


----------



## TheInvisibleHand

She and Her Darkness said:


> you're not related to Aribeth are you? >


I have no idea why i was so mean to him last night.I even made him change his avatar, i feel bad now.SAD.


----------



## Kevin001

TheInvisibleHand said:


> I have no idea why i was so mean to him last night.I even made him change his avatar, i feel bad now.SAD.


Mean? Lmao....you're good bro. I was changing my avatar regardless time to rotate.


----------



## IzzyWizzy

Relieved .

I've never been so glad to be on my period.
I was really worrying . Was almost about to call Marie Stopes. 
I know Im Atheist but thank god for that lol


----------



## TheInvisibleHand

Kevin001 said:


> Mean? Lmao....you're good bro. I was changing my avatar regardless time to rotate.


I'm not your bro.


----------



## Kevin001

IzzyWizzy said:


> Relieved .
> 
> I've never been so glad to be on my period.
> I was really worrying . Was almost about to call Marie Stopes.
> I know Im Atheist but thank god for that lol


Pregnancy scare? :squeeze


----------



## Lostintheshuffle

Anxious. I don't like where my life is right now. I feel suffocated just thinking about it. I'm hoping for a change.


----------



## Kevin001

Lostintheshuffle said:


> Anxious. I don't like where my life is right now. I feel suffocated just thinking about it. I'm hoping for a change.


Sorry to hear that but welcome back. :squeeze


----------



## IzzyWizzy

Kevin001 said:


> Pregnancy scare? :squeeze


Sort of lol

Was 2 days late . Any normal person would be ' hmm ok..' 
Me? I get paranoid and my head goes into panic mode lol


----------



## Lostintheshuffle

Kevin001 said:


> Sorry to hear that but welcome back. :squeeze


Thanks Kev. Hope you're well .


----------



## Kevin001

IzzyWizzy said:


> Sort of lol
> 
> Was 2 days late . Any normal person would be ' hmm ok..'
> Me? I get paranoid and my head goes into panic mode lol


Haha don't blame you.



Lostintheshuffle said:


> Thanks Kev. Hope you're well .


Meh I'm surviving.


----------



## SofaKing

Like a pathetic fool...why do I keep trying when I'm unwanted? 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## SofaKing

Thanks. It's tough to move on when you're convinced it was meant to be and can't accept the reasons for why it won't. 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## tea111red

i'm pretty tired of feeling lousy about myself.


----------



## Crisigv

tea111red said:


> i'm pretty tired of feeling lousy about myself.


same


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red @Crisigv

:hug time.


----------



## Alpha Tauri

:drunk


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> @tea111red @Crisigv
> 
> :hug time.


i wish i could get hugged by a man irl, too. :lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> i wish i could get hugged by a man irl, too. :lol


:lol Me too!


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> :lol Me too!


:high5


----------



## SparklingWater

Incredibly unsure of myself and ashamed, but trying to be compassionate. I'm fumbling in the dark and I've gotta learn at some point. Hopefully I don't leave too much damage in my wake.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> i wish i could get hugged by a man irl, too. :lol





SamanthaStrange said:


> :lol Me too!


Aha.  :grin2: :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

realisticandhopeful said:


> Incredibly unsure of myself and ashamed, but trying to be compassionate. I'm fumbling in the dark and I've gotta learn at some point. Hopefully I don't leave too much damage in my wake.


One of those runway model moments when you just get up and keep walking. Keep going until you make it.

Chin up.


----------



## TryingMara

Lifeless


----------



## eveningbat

Expecting another difficult week with work and some routine medical check up, payment of taxes, filing the Tax Return, coping with paperwork.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Wish I could post back on SAUK.

Not enough Brits here.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

IzzyWizzy said:


> Relieved .
> 
> I've never been so glad to be on my period.
> I was really worrying . Was almost about to call Marie Stopes.
> I know Im Atheist but thank god for that lol


:O

Just stick to Jack Russell's for babies. :grin2:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I can't go more than two days without feeling bored and frustrated. 

Need money so I can afford to get out constantly. 

Money, money, money, that's all this ****s about for me.

Money = freedom, choice, variety.


----------



## SofaKing

Ignored...

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## catcharay

My brother is leaving for Japan for a years study abroad today, so it feels kind of big. Then again, my sister moved to America..forever, and it didn't feel such a big deal. It's probably the fact he's younger and alone in an unfamiliar place that I feel like he could die (from youthful misadventures).


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad, lonely, and pathetic.


----------



## Kevin001

Small...physically....I need to eat more!


----------



## Crisigv

Emotional


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## SparklingWater

Excited, happy


----------



## KILOBRAVO

SofaKing said:


> Ignored...
> 
> Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


Hey, KyleinSTL! See, I even remember that. Not feeling ignored now i hope.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel like I'm going insane.


----------



## Ckg2011

Like I want to quit my job and just become the broke homeless loser that I am ment to be already, nobody in my family likes me, nobody cares, I suck at everything. I cannot stand living in this house anymore, I cannot stand living with my parents, cannot stand living in this stupid backwards state. 

Not allowed to do anything in my life, which is fine I am super stupid loser and will die a one too.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

I feel like most people are family in a way. There's good reason for it, but I'm dreadfully stifled.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like I can't do anything right. I'm so stupid.


----------



## Wanderlust26

So relieved and even a bit hopeful.


----------



## thetown

So anxious. I got a video interview tomorrow, and a phone interview the day after. I really want to get in :crying::crying:


----------



## IzzyWizzy

Tired. 
Dad and bro had another fall out. 
Bro went out all day,dunno where, came back at midnight. Making noise in the kitchen which is right below my bedroom. Woke me up. I know he was doing it on purpose cos he was angry at dad. Its so pathetic. A 43 yr old and he just can't let go of petty stuff. 
Always gotto make issue of something. 
He got no money, no job, no gf , not really any mates. Yet he treats people like crap sometimes.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Alone.


----------



## IzzyWizzy

SamanthaStrange said:


> Alone.


Hugs =)

Still hungry.
Just had cheesy pasta with sausage and garlic bread- want more


----------



## SamanthaStrange

IzzyWizzy said:


> Hugs =)


Thanks.


----------



## Natsumiineko

Mad, little sad, neutral all at once.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I'm exhausted


----------



## Autumn Toki

Putting this out in the world. Maybe I'll feel better. Been manic last couple of weeks but not in the good way. Can't focus on anything. Can't sleep through the night. Negative **** keeps running thru my head in a loop. Feel like brains on auto but overdrive. Always thought it was them. Others that irritate or wrong me, or trigger my anxiety or rage. But everyone? It's me after all. Idk what to do next right now. Best thing seems to be to hideout wait out the storm.


----------



## Kevin001

Meh...woke up with my eye bothering me.


----------



## Ai

Can't stop crying. I'm so dumb.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Alpha Tauri

Need to lay off the alcohol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ai said:


> Can't stop crying. I'm so dumb.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I was going to ask what happened, but I don't want to pry.

I hope you feel better soon though. :squeeze


----------



## tehuti88

Ai said:


> Can't stop crying. I'm so dumb.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:squeeze


----------



## Ai

SamanthaStrange said:


> I was going to ask what happened, but I don't want to pry.
> 
> I hope you feel better soon though. :squeeze


Nothing really. That's why it's so dumb.

It all just started out as plain sadness. I only get to see my boyfriend for roughly 1 day and sometimes 2 nights out of a month (we were forced to skip last month, but I did get to see him for a few more days this month to celebrate his birthday) and he was preparing to leave. Then I was ruminating on the schedule my boss had uploaded, which has me closing (something she hasn't taught me yet) all week, and opening  (which she _barely_ taught me... but I was too dumb to understand and basically gave up asking after the third unsuccessful attempt) and closing Saturdays. Slightly flustered and embarrassed, I was already fighting back tears while he was still here... After he left, however... I pretty much lost it. Just waves of anxiety and self-doubt and sadness and loneliness. I think it started out mildly enough and then quickly burgeoned into a full-blown, blubbering, snotty panic attack in the bath tub.

Sigh.

It's just silly, really. And I can't even explain it to other people in my life because they think I'm being ridiculous. They think I'm overreacting. But they don't have dyscalculia in a world entirely built around competency in math and spatial reasoning, with social anxiety in an industry whose very foundational principles involve _interacting with people._ If my boss knew either of these things, she wouldn't have hired me. And she's going to realize it soon enough... particularly when I **** up her (probably not that) complicated drawer count procedures. 

Honestly, though, I likely _am_ overreacting. And that just makes me feel so much worse.

I just wish I could be normal. Unexceptionally functional. That's it.

And not lonely.

If that's on the table. But even just the first bit would be nice. 



tehuti88 said:


> :squeeze


:squeeze


----------



## farfegnugen

Pretty awful. It's pouring here. Stuff keeps happening. Everything I have feels sore. I think I'm on my period.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@Ai I wish I had some good advice. I have a tendency to overreact and send myself into panic attacks and/or crying fits too. I get overwhelmed easily, and I have a hard time dealing with my emotions when I'm in that state of mind. I also wish I could be "normal", or at least not as dysfunctional as I have become. This probably wasn't helpful, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone. Hopefully you feel a little better than you did when you wrote the initial post.


----------



## Crisigv

Feels like I am a mistake to everyone.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker




----------



## SofaKing

A lifeless shell...I have nothing more to give and I'm getting nothing back. I'm all used up.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Ai

SamanthaStrange said:


> @Ai I wish I had some good advice. I have a tendency to overreact and send myself into panic attacks and/or crying fits too. I get overwhelmed easily, and I have a hard time dealing with my emotions when I'm in that state of mind. I also wish I could be "normal", or at least not as dysfunctional as I have become. This probably wasn't helpful, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone. Hopefully you feel a little better than you did when you wrote the initial post.


Thank you. :squeeze


----------



## SofaKing

She got her wish.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Disgraceful


----------



## hayes

Unproductive. Useless. Hungry.


----------



## Crisigv

So so sad


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> So so sad


Huggie time. :hug 

Chin up.


----------



## SofaKing

I've been so easily rejected, it really makes me question things.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Kevin001

Bothered I guess.....haven't drove in awhile. I mean I need to be facing my fears but I just haven't been allowed to drive in a couple of weeks now...ugh.


----------



## SparklingWater

I'm not sure if i can do this. I'm resigned.


----------



## IzzyWizzy

So bored.
Bored of internet, tv, music, everything. 

I'm so bored I looked up the psychology of bordom


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad finished my workout not too long ago, just trying to get myself pumped for work.


----------



## forever in flux

IzzyWizzy said:


> So bored.
> Bored of internet, tv, music, everything.
> 
> I'm so bored I looked up the psychology of bordom


Have you tried getting busy?


----------



## scintilla

Like literal garbage.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

Relaxed, mildly sleepy.


----------



## riverbird

Blah. Stressed.


----------



## Crisigv

Gassy, lol


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I have a headache


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad, lonely, upset, conflicted, and tired.


----------



## 8888

I'm anxious. Not socially anxious at the moment, more just my PTSD acting up.


----------



## SofaKing

Ready to come completely apart.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## tea111red

i'm getting suicidal thoughts again. i'm wondering when i should conclude it's just time to give up and quit life. i feel like my brain doesn't even work normally anymore anyway. extreme stress has made me feel really disoriented at times and like i can't think well. it's so difficult to get adequate rest, too.

not much to really look forward to, either.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

Oooooo, another who wants huggies. :hug :grin2:

I find laughter (finding something funny) helps to distract from the issues involved in ones life. 

Huggies for all in this thread. :hug

Chin up everyone.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

SofaKing said:


> Ready to come completely apart.


I'm feeling similar at the moment


----------



## johawN88

missing my kids everyday.. been 6 months since me and their mother seperated.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## funnynihilist

I'm just going through the motions in life and I'm not even doing that well.


----------



## Bearyfluffy

Lonely since I'm living alone now.


----------



## Valley

I feel like crap i just spent most of my day staring at my pc.


----------



## Nitrogen

18 page paper due Tuesday night and I'm not even halfway through, plus it's a research (scientific) paper and I'm only getting accustomed to CSE formatting so I've been putting the entire thing off for about a week now. This research isn't even anything I care about either, which is making writing 18 pages even more dreadful.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired....just hoping this coconut oil works magic over night.


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> @tea111red
> 
> Oooooo, another who wants huggies. :hug :grin2:
> 
> I find laughter (finding something funny) helps to distract from the issues involved in ones life.
> 
> Huggies for all in this thread. :hug
> 
> Chin up everyone.


thank you....


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> thank you....


You're welcome. :hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Afreen88 said:


> Not good.


:squeeze

I always like your _Golden Girls_ avatars, btw.


----------



## Crisigv

My stomach hurts and I'm cramping, yay


----------



## Nitrogen

I want to avoid everyone and everything.


----------



## riverbird

Like I'm not good enough.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Unimpressed and stricken with an urge to be passive aggressive as a result.


----------



## Jeff271

ok, chilly morning, maybe I'll just jump into the shower, I'll find some clothes later, pretty blue sky


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Broken. Beyond Repair.


----------



## Ai

Tired. Sore.


----------



## Excaliber

I've been feeling much better lately, sure there is the stress with work and my anxiety, but I've actually been a lot more relaxed. Things are looking up, been trying some stuff the past couple months I have not tried before and I plan to continue that the next upcoming months.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Anxious and a bit sad. 

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## 2Milk

I feel ****ing great right now.


----------



## SofaKing

The universe is against me. Things just don't work out for me despite the efforts applied. It's like the universe is edging.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## SparklingWater

disappointed but not surprised. whatever.


----------



## Valley

Im in a good mood wright now.


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Pete Beale said:


> Wish I could post back on SAUK.
> 
> Not enough Brits here.


There are still a fair number of Brits here, though some who used to make good posts unfortunately seem to have left the site. I do realise now how parochial SAUK was, personally I prefer the mix of nationalities here. For all my issues with that site when I was an active poster there, it was surely at it's best and most active back in the 00s (the same is true for their meets), the activity level there has nowadays dropped a lot more than on SAS. Think I can tell who you were on there.


----------



## tea111red

anxious.


----------



## Crisigv

I strained my shoulder at work today.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Odd/off


----------



## Zatch

Feeling way too confident in my prediction of the future I may or may not have with people closest to me.

Way back when it would've made me sad. Now it makes me want to hurry up and let go. Because I do not like wasting time and emotions if I can help it.


----------



## Cyclonic

I hope I don't wake up tomorrow


----------



## tea111red

hideous.

garbage.


----------



## Excaliber

Feeling really good, its the long weekend and I actually have some fun stuff to do!


----------



## TryingMara

Depleted


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hopeless. Cursed.


----------



## millenniumman75

Cyclonic said:


> I hope I don't wake up tomorrow


Yes yoo do - tomorrow is going to be a good day.


----------



## Ai

Super tired and sore. Stayed up late last night celebrating my sister's birthday and had a small amount of alcohol. Whenever I do this, because of the Wellbutrin, it makes me feel _so_ sluggish the next day. I then made the mistake of allowing my new doctor to give me a tetanus booster and the Gardasil shot... lol I have a feeling stocking giant piles of jeans tomorrow is going to be fun. x_x

On the plus side, the dress I stress-bought at the beginning of the month _finally_ arrived and I am so pleased! It's much shorter than I anticipated, but the colors and the pattern are _gorgeous_! I'm definitely wearing it tomorrow, even if my arms are black and blue... lol


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Sad

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

annoyed

...and I was doing so well. Grrr!


----------



## rdrr

a verbose array of emotions and feelings


----------



## Kevin001

Drained


----------



## thomasjune

Mentally tired. Being around most people really sucks the life out of me. Why am I still alive.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Terrible mentally and physically


----------



## mask3dman

I feel like a melting steaming pile of smelly ****, with pulsating veins pumping ****water at a steady rate throughout my brain. Also Im ****ing ugly, unattractive, worthless, an imbecile, and I will die alone.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Like I'm living in a nightmare.


----------



## solasum

Anxious. I'm afraid I won't pass the final exams, and that I will soon ruin yet another relationship with my anxiety and indecision.


----------



## SofaKing

Home and exhausted after a long trip...still peeing out my butt...so I got that going for me...which is nice.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## jjoanna

Pretty crappy today. Had an awful nights sleep!


----------



## Kevin001

Hideous


----------



## SparklingWater

crappy. have headache


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I'm feeling very bitter right now. :bah


----------



## funnynihilist

SamanthaStrange said:


> I'm feeling very bitter right now. :bah


I've never known a bitter cupcake :/


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> I've never known a bitter cupcake :/


Well, now you do. :bah


----------



## Overdrive

crap, no motivation what so ever blahhhh...


----------



## TheInvisibleHand

Overdrive said:


> crap, no motivation what so ever blahhhh...


Awww that's so sad.Here let me give you a hug


----------



## Overdrive

TheInvisibleHand said:


> Awww that's so sad.Here let me give you a hug


:eyes


----------



## Zatch

Like there's no right answer. It's really hard being in love with someone who hates your guts.

And the worst part is, I don't want out.


----------



## SparklingWater

Happy! Validated. Way less crazy lol.


----------



## Crisigv

Kinda crappy


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely. Restless.


----------



## burgerchuckie

Sad


----------



## CWe

Like a raging volcano!!!!


----------



## harrison

Relieved - had a long talk to my boy last night via skype and very glad he's okay. He's up in Seoul with his girlfriend and I've been worried sick about him.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@*tea111red*

Go for a walk in a park if you can. Interact with animals that don't judge you and give you unconditional love. :hug

@*don*

Good to hear that he is ok mate. 

With the tension there between north, south, etc, I can understand why you are worried.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> @tea111red
> 
> Go for a walk in a park if you can. Interact with animals that don't judge you and give you unconditional love. :hug
> 
> @don
> 
> Good to hear that he is ok mate.
> 
> *With the tension there between, north, south, etc, I can understnd why you are worried.*


Yeah, it's been very scary - it's also his first overseas trip so it's been particularly worrying. I just heard on the radio that the vice president (Pence) is on his way to Seoul right now so hopefully even Trump wouldn't do anything as stupid as bombing North Korea while he's there.

I really wish my son was in a different country though, all the same.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@don

It's not good.


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> @tea111red
> 
> Go for a walk in a park if you can. Interact with animals that don't judge you and give you unconditional love. :hug


i really just need to find a more permanent/less temporary solution to my problems that isn't going to cause me the same amount or even more suffering.  it's a huge battle to find a good solution to certain problems in my life. it seems like whenever i think i find a good plan or solution, it doesn't work out or has to be scrapped because of other people and circumstances. it's really frustrating.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

That does work, when out of a toxic environment you start to feel better mentally. But even a small bit of that abuse again, those feelings come back. 

It's about venting the emotions one at a time mentally that you felt at the time of the trauma via meditation, cuddling yourself mentally that helps as well as changing environment.


----------



## Zatch

Like I don't know when to move on from someone. But it's seeming like now is the time to try.


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> @tea111red
> 
> That does work, when out of a toxic environment you start to feel better mentally. But even a small bit of that abuse again, those feelings come back.
> 
> It's about venting the emotions one at a time mentally that you felt at the time of the trauma via meditation, cuddling yourself mentally that helps as well as changing environment.


i feel too exhausted in every way and the thought of even seeing people outside drains me of more energy. i have to be on bed rest again. i feel like all i have the energy to do is think and read right now.

eh...but even reading stuff is difficult, too. i mean reading stuff to help me change my thinking or give me some kind of encouragement. i have to take a lot of breaks....my endurance feels like it's become very poor. i feel like having such low spirits has made it harder to continue doing stuff.

i feel so trapped in my nightmare life right now.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

That will most likely be sleep related as well (due to excessive stress), as you said you had trouble sleeping in the past.

Probably stressing so much over stuff your mind races and can't sleep. There is medication to help slow the brain down enough to sleep. Or focusing on something else mentally might help too to destress.

I can't remember right now, but didn't we chat about this before, the medication, sleep, etc?


----------



## Canadian Brotha

My soul hurts


----------



## kivi

Horrible.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Canadian Brotha



Chin up. 

@kivi



Chin up.


----------



## tea111red

very depressed.


----------



## Excaliber

I did not sleep well again, I have not for the past couple days and I don't know why, just keep waking up at random times. Things are good otherwise.


----------



## Kevin001

Intrigued


----------



## Crisigv

Disconnected and sad


----------



## SparklingWater

tickled


----------



## jjoanna

Relieved. Think I've just about done everything that was on my to-do list today.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Crisigv said:


> Disconnected and sad


Me too


----------



## SofaKing

Frustrated...I can only do so much.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## daretobelieve

Kind of stressed because I love to procrastinate and I have lot of stuff to do.


----------



## Tuan Jie

Bitter, again. Like why not finally paint the wall with my brain?


----------



## tea111red

bored.


----------



## Jeff271

It feels better when I'm unshaven but I don't want to grow a full beard again.


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

fat


----------



## regimes

pretty pissed tbh!! my hair has done some drastic thinning over the past couple of months and every time i google it the internet tells me to not do something else that i need for my daily routine. i stopped flat ironing it, have resisted dying it, stopped wearing it back as much and now it's like "don't brush your hair when it's wet and don't use the hair dryer" like fml i basically need to look like a wild animal in order to grow back some of my hair wtf


----------



## The Library of Emma

i feel empty, though not aimless. anything i get done, i am going to have to do alone.


----------



## alienjunkie

useless


----------



## Rains

Stressed the fck out. Really wound up. Need to get back into meditating.


----------



## Neal

Like I'm gonna be sick. I've got my first ever job interview today and I'm not ready for it in the least. I didn't expect the lady to schedule it ASAP. I had to call her just to set a time and I was awkward af. Hopefully I can find a way to loosen up by 3:30. Even crazier its an hour long. I'm not sure what we could possibly talk about for an hour.

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Sad and annoyed. 

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## TryingMara

Not so great.


----------



## Crisigv

Pretty much feels like my life is falling apart.


----------



## tea111red

hideous.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Another lonely night.


----------



## Excaliber

I'm feeling decent, today I actually managed to help a couple customers on the phone all by myself.


----------



## TryingMara

gross


----------



## Zatch

Tired, but happy. Very happy.


----------



## TryingMara

I'm disgusting and feel disgusting.


----------



## Crisigv

Not good, sleep doesn't really help me anymore.


----------



## solasum

Held together, but like I could fall apart soon.


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad, just killed my workout.


----------



## alexisralston

Aggravated and annoyed, partly because I have a ****ing headache but im always that way anyway

Sent from my SM-J320VPP using Tapatalk


----------



## llodell88

lazy, sleepy, worried about stuff, a little guilty or regretful

how to wake up


----------



## tea111red

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel like screaming also. Ugh.


----------



## riverbird

I feel like I'm on the verge of breaking.


----------



## tea111red

nervous.


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy as usual


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Worried. Worried about the lovely people in this thread that are screaming in pain. A :hug for you all.


----------



## tea111red

bored.


----------



## MTCC27

Insignificant.


----------



## ByStorm

I think I'm okay.


----------



## MCHB

Drunk...

Thusly mission accomplished! :3


----------



## MCHB

Also avoiding facebook like the plague...hence why I'm posting here!

...because when I was a cronic, I'd aimlessly post on facebook while drunk! Though it was always enlightening when sober me looked there, it was...uh...pragmatic!


----------



## millenniumman75

Tired!


----------



## TryingMara

So very tired.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad, lonely, unwanted, the usual.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@millenniumman75

I hope you feel beter after some sleep. 

@TryingMara

I hope you feel better after some sleep. :hug 

@SamanthaStrange

Awwww.  :hug

Chin up.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

ready 2 rave


----------



## tea111red

please let this good stuff continue......


----------



## Herzeleid

Lonely and bored.


----------



## flyingMint

Very anxious... tomorrow is a family gathering and I may have to face several old acquaintances along with several people who aren't very fond of me (or at least are indifferent towards me)


----------



## Kevin001

Irritated.....acne...fml.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, disappointed, wanting snuggles


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Sad, disappointed, wanting snuggles


As you wish. :hug


----------



## tea111red

this weather...too hot.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> this weather...too hot.


Now where is the fan. Oh there it is, turns fan on.


----------



## tea111red

i'm worrying about people not being understanding and having to deal w/ more stress.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

Such a lovely person. :hug


----------



## Act to fall

I feel pressured to eat junk food for dinner because that's what my parents want to eat.


----------



## RagnarLothbrok

Feeling very confused with what I want to do with my life career-wise. Lonely and depressed as usual.


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> @tea111red
> 
> Such a lovely person. :hug


thank you for the nice words...

-------

depressed about various things.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> thank you for the nice words...
> 
> -------
> 
> depressed about various things.


You're welcome. 

Awwwww. :hug


----------



## In The Shade

Angry and hopeless


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I wish I could just disappear.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, disappointed, my Leafs lost  But they did so well.


----------



## Kevin001

Crisigv said:


> Sad, disappointed, my Leafs lost  But they did so well.


My Blackhawks got swept so don't feel too bad. :laugh:


----------



## twistix

A little apprehensive


----------



## Crisigv

Kevin001 said:


> My Blackhawks got swept so don't feel too bad. :laugh:


Yeah, I guess so.


----------



## TryingMara

nervous


----------



## SofaKing

Forgotten. 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## thomasjune

Pretty good for a Sunday night.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SplendidBob

Quite good, too soon to say, but my neck seems to be recovering :O - 3 years of low level pain and the capacity to not look down for more than a few seconds might be over.

The cure, resistance training (the thing my physiotherapists told me not to do). 

Still, might be jumping the gun on it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@In The Shade



@SamanthaStrange

:hug

@Crisigv

Awwww. :hug

@twistix



@TryingMara

:hug

@SofaKing


----------



## Ai

Kind of randomly nauseous, but that's not so out of the ordinary. The real miracle is how not anxious I feel, despite returning to work in the morning. Now that I'm starting to get a little bit more comfortable, this job is easily 10 MILLION times less stressful than my waitressing job... with 10 billion times the level of security...

Things could certainly be worse.



splendidbob said:


> Quite good, too soon to say, but my neck seems to be recovering :O - 3 years of low level pain and the capacity to not look down for more than a few seconds might be over.
> 
> The cure, resistance training (the thing my physiotherapists told me not to do).
> 
> Still, might be jumping the gun on it.


That's awesome!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

So tired and cold and itchy and anxious and depressed and space brained lately


----------



## tehuti88

I'm never getting better. I have nothing left to hope for. :crying:


----------



## tea111red

O_O


----------



## Mc Borg

@[email protected]


----------



## lizbrown

Like a pathetic loser


----------



## ShatteredGlass

my doctor raised my pristiq dose to 100mg today. i feel numb and dumb. i need someone to hug me and tell me it's going to be ok


----------



## Greys0n

i am a bit tired, had a long night trip with friends


----------



## pradeep29

Same feeling


----------



## SparklingWater

Wonderful. Things I've known theoretically for years have suddenly become clear and given me a strong sense of certainty and purpose.


----------



## SofaKing

realisticandhopeful said:


> Wonderful. Things I've known theoretically for years have suddenly become clear and given me a strong sense of certainty and purpose.


That's a good thing...hopefully the peace you feel will give you the energy to do great things with your new sense of purpose.


----------



## cosmicslop

lazy. I've been really lazy. I wanna go for a bike ride. Maybe that'll get me out of this state and energize me.


----------



## funnynihilist

Sinuses so bad after cutting grass yesterday. 
Standing over a boiling pot of water right now.


----------



## shyvr6

I think I have a minor cold so not great. My nose is partially stuffed up, a little throat tingling, and I had a headache last night. Only got a couple hours of sleep as well.


----------



## SplendidBob

Ai said:


> That's awesome!


Maybe spoke a bit too soon (been worse today), but I have been pushing things. Fingers crossed though .


----------



## Ai

splendidbob said:


> Maybe spoke a bit too soon (been worse today), but I have been pushing things. Fingers crossed though .


Aww. Well, hopefully it's just a minor setback! I have faith


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Stupid, with a dash of pathetic.


----------



## SplendidBob

Ai said:


> Aww. Well, hopefully it's just a minor setback! I have faith


Ty 

Seems to be back to standard acheyness today . - Will keep up with the gym though hopefully the weird sporadic improvements are signs of things to come. Did the MRI yesterday so perhaps that will show something (either an improvement, or a deterioration, hopefully at least narrow down exactly where the problem is).


----------



## Ai

splendidbob said:


> Ty
> 
> Seems to be back to standard acheyness today . - Will keep up with the gym though hopefully the weird sporadic improvements are signs of things to come. Did the MRI yesterday so perhaps that will show something (either an improvement, or a deterioration, hopefully at least narrow down exactly where the problem is).




Good luck! I hope your MRI is at least able to give you some answers. The not-knowing is the worst part, I think. :/


----------



## Crisigv

pathetic


----------



## SparklingWater

happy


----------



## SplendidBob

realisticandhopeful said:


> happy


Your new llama avatar not only looks a bit like the guy who came out of the MRI machine just before me, but also Mike the old landlord of my local pub.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted, sore, and hungry


----------



## Cyclonic

Worried and stressed, really hope I get into an accident on the way to work tomorrow.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Pissed off.


----------



## MCHB

Mellow. 

Was feeling angry, frustrated and tired the past few days, but yeah. Just mellow now.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sore


----------



## karenw

****ed off as I've got to go to that place.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Worthless.


----------



## SparklingWater

scared


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@realisticandhopeful

:hug

Chin up.


----------



## Crisigv

Not good. I don't knew what a good day is anymore.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

 :hug


----------



## tea111red

nervous.


----------



## Bbpuff

Needy..


----------



## Ai

Hopeless. Depressed. My boss posted next week's schedule this morning. She's hired someone else and cut my hours. I'm only working two days next week. For a total of 10 hours. New girl's working double that. And no one else's schedules seem to have changed much.

Guess my job performance wasn't as "good" as she lead me to believe. It looks like she's hired my replacement and is nudging my useless *** out the door.


It was only a matter of time, I suppose... I don't know why I let myself believe I could make it as an adult. Even for a second.

Lesson learned.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ai said:


> Hopeless. Depressed. My boss posted next week's schedule this morning. She's hired someone else and cut my hours. I'm only working two days next week. For a total of 10 hours. New girl's working double that. And no one else's schedules seem to have changed much.
> 
> Guess my job performance wasn't as "good" as she lead me to believe. It looks like she's hired my replacement and is nudging my useless *** out the door.
> 
> It was only a matter of time, I suppose... I don't know why I let myself believe I could make it as an adult. Even for a second.
> 
> Lesson learned.


:squeeze Don't give up hope yet, maybe it was just a bad fit? I hope you feel better soon though.


----------



## Kevin001

Ai said:


> Hopeless. Depressed. My boss posted next week's schedule this morning. She's hired someone else and cut my hours. I'm only working two days next week. For a total of 10 hours. New girl's working double that. And no one else's schedules seem to have changed much.
> 
> Guess my job performance wasn't as "good" as she lead me to believe. It looks like she's hired my replacement and is nudging my useless *** out the door.
> 
> It was only a matter of time, I suppose... I don't know why I let myself believe I could make it as an adult. Even for a second.
> 
> Lesson learned.


Hmm just keep trying your best, don't worry about it. My hrs also got cut this week for some strange reason. :serious:


----------



## CNikki

Anxious. I shouldn't be, really.

_sighs_


----------



## Ai

SamanthaStrange said:


> :squeeze Don't give up hope yet, maybe it was just a bad fit? I hope you feel better soon though.


If this isn't a good fit, nothing is. :/ I'm actually not doing too badly now... or at least I thought I wasn't. I was just complimented a few days ago by a regular on what an "excellent, attentive, and helpful salesperson" I was. :blank



Kevin001 said:


> Hmm just keep trying your best, don't worry about it. My hrs also got cut this week for some strange reason. :serious:


Man, that sucks. :/


----------



## TryingMara

Exhausted, surprised, a bit apprehensive.


----------



## SparklingWater

peaceful


----------



## catcharay

Depressed. I'm taking yaz which holds promise for clearing acne but it's probably causing me to be so emotional and depressed, also making me laggard with starting exercise.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hurt. Sad. Lonely. Annoyed. 

And fighting the urge to be passive-aggressive.


----------



## Kevin001

Ai said:


> Man, that sucks. :/


Its life all we can do is try.


----------



## SparklingWater

Irritated. Can't fall asleep after I had to move downstairs cause some mom was bring inconsiderate. Ugh.


----------



## noydb

Ai said:


> I'm only working two days next week. For a total of 10 hours. New girl's working double that. And no one else's schedules seem to have changed much.


:squeeze Maybe they just need to give her more hours since she's only new and thus still learning? Hours might go back to normal once she's got the hang of it. I'm sure they're not trying to get rid of you, sounds like you're good at your job!


----------



## tea111red

i really suck at having conversations....... :no


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mood swings in full force.


----------



## Jeff271

I'm doing good, keeping busy.


----------



## twistix

Insecure


----------



## Kevin001

twistix said:


> Insecure


Don't be


----------



## Crisigv

Day just started and I'm already depressed. This is getting hard to deal with.


----------



## mikoamoy

yesterday i feel great celebrating my friends birthday with a small group of friends, we had a great time.

but today i feel worthless because i only spend my time on phone and playing worthless games.
God i hate how phone is making myself even worse as a person


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

 :hug

Chin up.


----------



## TryingMara

Starting to get a little overwhelmed.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lazy.


----------



## tea111red

O_O


----------



## Kevin001

Doubtful


----------



## herk

annoyed


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Determined to resist the influence of my old demons.


----------



## Ai

Slightly cranky.


----------



## Blue Dino

My knees hurt. 

Happens every time I'm force to get new sneakers. Hopefully it's a matter of adapting and breaking into them. Not where it's not the right shoes for me and I am force to shop again for another new pair in a few months and roll the dice again.


----------



## riverbird

Drunk. And like I really want pancakes.


----------



## slyfox

Irritated with a splash of depression


----------



## funnynihilist

Like I'm not really a person. Wonder what it feels like to be an actual person?


----------



## Missyblueeyes

Tired, Lonely and a tad bit depressed.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> Like I'm not really a person. Wonder what it feels like to be an actual person?


Yeah, I know what you mean.


----------



## Vein

I have like 0 potential, I can't freakin' do anything for god's sake, why am I here, am I really just a ****ing excess ffs. No wonder I'm stuck with my parents... they gave birth to me to be useless and to trap me. If I had some natural advantage or some gift, or my hard work would ****ing go somewhere then I could escape, but no, I had to be given like ziltch potential. C'mon, I can't even work hard **** me.


----------



## firestar

Angry.

My mother says that she's willing to listen and that she wants to talk, but then she doesn't approach me. She's all talk. She paints herself as this supportive parent without actually _being supportive.

_She has this ideal version of herself in her head that doesn't match reality. I don't blame her for that. Nobody's perfect; we all do that to some extent. But this idea that she's some wonderfully supportive parent just grates on me. If she was really a wonderful parent, she would not have _screwed up_ five people.

She says that she's willing to listen to me, but she's lying. She doesn't want to hear how I really feel. She doesn't want me to be angry with her. Of course not! But for all those years, _we didn't have a choice_. When she was on the warpath, everyone had to deal with her fury. All those years I woke up on the weekend to the sound of her screaming downstairs and now she shies away from *one* conversation. She's such a hypocrite.

I hate feeling this way. I should just be done with her entirely, but the temptation to expose her hypocrisy is just too strong.


----------



## Glycerin

Mixed. Never knowing if I make the right decisions. Feeling guilty and worried about money. I found a new place to rent. 
My lower back hurts as **** since 2 days and something keeps popping everytime I move. Even hurts when I'm lying down.


----------



## tea111red

crap.

hideous.


----------



## Overdrive

depressed


----------



## TryingMara

I feel like a zombie. Zero sleep last night. Lately my sleeping patterns have been so off, although I've never been a good sleeper. I'm just kind of floating through the day, barely aware of what I'm doing.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm really sad


----------



## HenDoggy

Is there even a point to anything anymore? Doesn't seem like it.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

HenDoggy said:


> Is there even a point to anything anymore? Doesn't seem like it.


I've been feeling the same way. :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.


----------



## CNikki

Not tired here. Have things I need to get done throughout the week and might as well tend to some while in this wide awake state.


----------



## kivi

I'm so tired. I was awake all night, working non stop while standing mostly. My back hurts but at least it's almost finished.


----------



## fluorish

Kinda like hopeless.


----------



## Blue Dino

firestar said:


> Angry.
> 
> My mother says that she's willing to listen and that she wants to talk, but then she doesn't approach me. She's all talk. She paints herself as this supportive parent without actually _being supportive.
> 
> _She has this ideal version of herself in her head that doesn't match reality. I don't blame her for that. Nobody's perfect; we all do that to some extent. But this idea that she's some wonderfully supportive parent just grates on me. If she was really a wonderful parent, she would not have _screwed up_ five people.
> 
> She says that she's willing to listen to me, but she's lying. She doesn't want to hear how I really feel. She doesn't want me to be angry with her. Of course not! But for all those years, _we didn't have a choice_. When she was on the warpath, everyone had to deal with her fury. All those years I woke up on the weekend to the sound of her screaming downstairs and now she shies away from *one* conversation. She's such a hypocrite.
> 
> I hate feeling this way. I should just be done with her entirely, but the temptation to expose her hypocrisy is just too strong.


Sorry to hear things with your mom still suck. I know the feeling. You keep expecting one day they will maybe start changing for the better. But nope. It's a constant, something maybe you just realize you need to accept and adapt.

Exposing her really isn't worth it, since she'll just deny it. And others she's exposed to, will simply just shrug and not care. It's a war if you win, it has little to no rewards.

Best to just keep her presence in your life to a minimal, and accept you will have to see her time to time and endure her.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

:crying:


----------



## Crisigv

Sucks that there isn't a single part of me (body, heart, soul, blah blah blah) that feels good. I'm in pain always.


----------



## Ai

Kind of numb. Kind of embarrassed. My mood has taken quite an impressive nosedive over the course of a few days, and I guess watching a television series wherein two anxious and depressed adults commit suicide (like it's our only narrative function in entertainment... provide dark comedic relief or be the tragic twist, because what else can we expect?) didn't really help matters. I ended up breaking down a bit last night and I said a bit more of what was on my mind to my boyfriend than I meant to. He probably thinks I'm off the deep end.

And maybe I am. 

God I hate being so weak and annoying.


----------



## firestar

Blue Dino said:


> Sorry to hear things with your mom still suck. I know the feeling. You keep expecting one day they will maybe start changing for the better. But nope. It's a constant, something maybe you just realize you need to accept and adapt.
> 
> Exposing her really isn't worth it, since she'll just deny it. And others she's exposed to, will simply just shrug and not care. It's a war if you win, it has little to no rewards.
> 
> Best to just keep her presence in your life to a minimal, and accept you will have to see her time to time and endure her.


Thank you. I know I vent about her a lot on here. It makes me feel better to know that people still care.

I agree that there's no point in trying to expose her. I was angry last night. Now I'm just depressed.

I didn't want to be the bad guy. I wanted to believe that maybe if I just explained myself again or made it a bit more clear how I was feeling, she would do _something _to salvage the relationship. But she hasn't. She's all talk and no action. She wouldn't even come talk to me. She managed to take all the credit for being willing to talk and yet still make her avoidance my fault for being angry with her.

She said she wants to talk tomorrow morning. I wrote down what I'm going to say. I'm going to end it once and for all. I can't take it anymore. She knows that. And I know I will feel so much better once I cut her out of my life for good.


----------



## cosmicslop

I'm honestly kind of pissed off after writing about the stuff that pisses me off in the thread lol. 3;


----------



## HenDoggy

SamanthaStrange said:


> I've been feeling the same way. :squeeze


Yeah, this feeling sucks :squeeze


----------



## max87

Terrible. But thanks for the virtual hugs!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cursed. 

Hopeless.


----------



## SorryForMyEnglish

worthless


----------



## Crisigv

A bit worried. The pain I've always been feeling was so intense just now. It was the worst I've felt it. But it's only on my left side.


----------



## FredCordero

Tired of working.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@*SamanthaStrange*

 :hug

@*Crisigv*





Ai said:


> .........................


He is probably understanding of what is going on. The way you describe him, sounds like he cares for you.

Chin up. 

@*SamanthaStrange*

:hug

@*SorryForMyEnglish*

:hug

@*Crisigv*

Usually that's one of the symptoms of a stroke. If face drops down on one side, that can be another symptom of a stroke.

If it is happening that way, seek medical treatment immediately.

If it's only the arm, could be the nerves and straightening arm usually fixes that.


----------



## slyfox

That any choice I make will end badly


----------



## forever in flux

Drunk.

@ANX1 I appreciate your work, you helped me feel slightly better when I was feeling like utter sh!t. Keep spreading the love! :group


----------



## ShadowOne

slyfox said:


> That any choice I make will end badly


can relate


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@slyfox



@forever in flux

Thank you for your kind words. 

That's good to hear mate. 

Happy is what you should be and I wish that you become happy. 






:grin2:


----------



## Ai

Kind of nervous. I have no choice but to start my new Wellbutrin dose tomorrow, the same day I return to work after a long "weekend." When I originally started the medication about a year ago, I remember feeling quite jittery and high-strung at first... I just hope I don't have an anxiety attack on the sales floor. I have a hard enough time getting people to take me seriously as it is, I feel... :blank

And I don't want my boss to know I'm mentally ill, period...


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Nervous and kinda sad. 

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## CNikki

Lonely.


----------



## Omni-slash

Minus terrible, I feel ****ing terrific.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling really bad. I really wish I could get a long, meaningful hug.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Frustrated and annoyed by life.


----------



## DerSchweinehund

Edgy as hell, like a goddamn metalhead. The good sort though.

No really, quite conflicted. Slightly depressive, slightly euphoric. Overall, I know I'm screwed, but I sort of have a way out.


----------



## TryingMara

I was ok, but now the self-hatred has reappeared. Disgusted with myself and fed up with my job.


----------



## unemployment simulator

worried about current benefit payments (or lack of).


----------



## tea111red

hideous.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Conflicted, confused, & depressed


----------



## Blue Dino

Exhausted, Disappointed and Hopeless.


----------



## BAH

Bored Af


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Upset


----------



## michaelthedepressedmess

I'm high AF right now so I'm feeling pretty good.


----------



## johawN88

down in the dumps today


----------



## Citrine79

gloomy...just like the weather here.


----------



## Crisigv

Doesn't even matter how I feel, does it.


----------



## Zatch

Stellar. Could use a good book to read, at the very least.


----------



## SparklingWater

Worried about ill friend.


----------



## SparklingWater

relieved


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Confused and annoyed.


----------



## TryingMara

Nervous


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious and hungry


----------



## Jeff271

Ok, enjoying the warm weather. My friend Marko stopped by. Had peanut butter sandwiches and chocolate milk. I'm gonna go work on some stuff in the garage.


----------



## tea111red

.......

:stu

don't know what to do.


----------



## rdrr

ok i guess. i had a migraine last night and slept for 12 hours, but fearing a rebound headache right now.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Disposable, coupled with a headache from crying.


----------



## jovin43

Back in bed...phone on Do Not Disturb snd hiding from the world. That's usually the way it is anymore. Too exhausted from pain and dreams to function. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## TryingMara

Ugly


----------



## Fever Dream

Sick, exhausted, & tired.


----------



## SparklingWater

Many things. Chief among them achy, insecure, annoyed, jealous, worried, scared and resigned. Yet content somehow.


----------



## tea111red

discouraged. stressed. can't think well again.

ugly, too.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@realisticandhopeful

:hug

@tea111red

:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

Look at 2:20+ -






Chin up, you are a beautiful person.


----------



## catcharay

Miserable with apple, it comes with undying problems. Apple is disgusting, I got the repair kit but it didn't bode well after I tried to unscrew the microscopic screws.


----------



## Blue Dino

Hungry. Looks like I have a great appetite now. Maybe its because I didn't eat anything I really enjoyed today?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

You're welcome. 

Think positive and you'll be positive.


----------



## noydb

So ****ing depressed.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Went to bed crying, woke up crying.


----------



## Rains

noydb said:


> So ****ing depressed.


This.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

noydb said:


> So ****ing depressed.


Don't be. You're super hot. :mushy

Also, have you played this:
http://agar.io/

It's fun.
(Not really. I always rage quit)


----------



## Kilgore Trout

SamanthaStrange said:


> Went to bed crying, woke up crying.





Rains said:


> This.


Damn. Just when I thought I had fixed noydb by telling her to not be depressed.
You guys should stop being depressed too.

And play agar.io

It will piss you off which means you will be mad not depressed anymore


----------



## Kilgore Trout

There, I fixed everybody.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Stressed >.<


----------



## SamanthaStrange

geraltofrivia said:


> There, I fixed everybody.


I am broken beyond repair. Thanks for trying though.


----------



## Fever Dream

Apparently a post cold medicine high. :S That stuff knocked me out, but gave me some bizarre dreams.


----------



## noydb

geraltofrivia said:


> Also, have you played this:
> http://agar.io/
> 
> It's fun.
> (Not really. I always rage quit)


LMAO I downloaded that stupid game on my phone and then deleted it almost immediately! You're right, I'm mad now. THANKS A LOT.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

noydb said:


> LMAO I downloaded that stupid game on my phone and then deleted it almost immediately! You're right, I'm mad now. THANKS A LOT.


:squeeze


----------



## lovewillsetyoufree

I feel apathetic. I just want to die. I'm really bored to live.


----------



## TryingMara

Conflicted


----------



## SamanthaStrange

So alone.


----------



## Chihuahualover93

I'm feeling stressed, pissed at my boyfriend, a little anxious but mostly depressed, and worried about my future. I've been feeling crappy since the beginning of the year, and I don't know how much longer I can fight. That's all I've done is fight these emotions, and it's gotten me nowhere.


----------



## tea111red

:hide


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> @tea111red
> 
> You're welcome.
> 
> Think positive and you'll be positive.


lol, i ended up not even seeing the person anyway.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> lol, i ended up not even seeing the person anyway.


Oh, ok. Sorry to hear.


----------



## tea111red

my life and family is so embarrassing.


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> So alone.


i feel that way, too.


----------



## SofaKing

Frustrated at a new spate of apparent trolls here...or more sadly, just more overly toxic posters.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Act to fall

Feel like I need to just ****ing die, this isn't working


----------



## funnynihilist

tea111red said:


> i feel that way, too.


Me too. I hide it in real life but I guess I can admit to it on here.


----------



## CNikki

Annoyed.


----------



## TryingMara

Relieved. The neighbor's dog finally stopped barking. Constant barking and cats fighting instantly makes me anxious.


----------



## Crisigv

Cold, sad, regretful, longing, stressed, tired


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Worried about all these people feeling lonely, tired, stressed, etc on here.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> Worried about all these people feeling lonely, tired, stressed, etc on here.


Don't worry about me, bro.


----------



## michaelthedepressedmess

Starving. I'm doing a 3 day water fast and its taking all my will power not to dig into some grub lol.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Don't worry about me, bro.


----------



## Ai

Incredibly nauseous. I've felt this way all day and it's getting a little miserable. :/ I usually experience a low level nausea that fades in and out throughout the day due to my gastritis, and I'm more or less resigned and used to that... But this has been so much worse. And rather consistent. 

Beginning to wonder if it's not related to my Buproprion switch (was on XL 150 mg once a day for about a year and a half, started SR 150 mg twice a day about a week ago.) Sigh.

There were definitely a few times I thought I might vomit at work. Not ideal. lol

Wonder if Dramamine might help...



michaelthedepressedmess said:


> Starving. I'm doing a 3 day water fast and its taking all my will power not to dig into some grub lol.


That is *terrible* for your body in so many ways. Eat some food, dude. Your blood sugar levels will thank you. :blank


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted, deflated, & defeated


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Used and thrown away. Again. 

I'll never be good enough for anyone.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Used and thrown away. Again.


Awwww! 



SamanthaStrange said:


> I'll never be good enough for anyone.


"hugs" :hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Awwww!
> 
> "hugs" :hug


Thanks.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks.


No problem. I do not like seeing people sad on here.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> No problem. I do not like seeing people sad on here.


You should probably add me to your ignore list then. :lol


----------



## funnynihilist

Daytime is not my thing but I took(and quit) a medication that messed up my sleeping pattern and now I'm waking up early. 
I never feel right until evening since I am a vampire and all.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@SamanthaStrange

No, you don't belong on there. :lol


----------



## unemployment simulator

freezing!

what is it with this weather? it's may and it still feels like it's bloody winter! I refuse to put the heating on, its not supposed to be this cold... isn't summer supposed to be like here now?


----------



## TryingMara

Exhausted.


----------



## Crisigv

Quite unwell, I'm a mess


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired, dejected, and lonely. Getting REALLY annoyed at being unemployed for 4 years since college graduation.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Tired, dejected, and lonely. Getting REALLY annoyed at being unemployed for 4 years since college graduation.


:squeeze


----------



## Kevin001

Blessed


----------



## tea111red

this noise from someone doing something to someone's roof next door (houses are so damn close to each other here, btw) is pissing me off. irritating as hell and it's been going on for over 30 minutes now. ugh.

raaaaahhhhhhhhhhbbbbbbbbbboooooooooooffffffffloooooooooooohuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrr or whatever that noise is. ugh.

update: now it's been about an hr. :roll :no


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> this noise from someone doing something to someone's roof next door (houses are so damn close to each other here, btw) is pissing me off. irritating as hell and it's been going on for over 30 minutes now. ugh.
> 
> raaaaahhhhhhhhhhbbbbbbbbbboooooooooooffffffffloooooooooooohuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrr or whatever that noise is. ugh.
> 
> update: now it's been about an hr. :roll :no


Ugh, loud persistent noise also bothers me. You have my sympathy.


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> Ugh, loud persistent noise also bothers me. You have my sympathy.


Thanks, Samantha.  I always feel guilty for getting angry over this kind of stuff and the things I end up thinking while having to put up it, but it's just so damn annoying that I can't think straight. :bash :lol

Thanks for your understanding once again!


----------



## tea111red

depression has caused a lot of my brain to rot.


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

Inadequate


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad and lonely, like I do every night.


----------



## fluorish

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittt


----------



## Jeff271

Sorta tired, I got a lot done today. I'm glad this universe has chocolate donuts.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Feeling nervous about my job interview coming up next Monday. HR has not called or emailed me about a time yet. lol


----------



## Crisigv

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Feeling nervous about my job interview coming up next Monday. HR has not called or emailed me about a time yet. lol


I'm sure you're going to do fine. It's normal to be nervous.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Alien to humanity


----------



## rdrr

need to relax


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> I'm sure you're going to do fine. It's normal to be nervous.


Thanks for the encouragement, hun.


----------



## TryingMara

Exhausted, nervous and defeated.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm tired and a little miserable. I always feel like I'm in the way. I also feel like my family looks down on me because I work a crappy retail job, I know my brother does, and it's usually his way I'm in. Great way to start the day.


----------



## noydb

Pathetic.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Feeling nervous about my job interview coming up next Monday. HR has not called or emailed me about a time yet. lol


Oh, good luck! I hope you get the job.


----------



## copper

Wore out from family visiting. Also, all my joints are hurting. Woke up by pain at 1 am in the back of my upper leg. Couldn't get back to sleep. Family left this morning. I suppose to go back to work. I find no sense since I always have Sat and Sun off. I should of taken off tomorrow since I need a today and tomorrow to recharge from having to socialize constantly.


----------



## herk

vampiric


----------



## SparklingWater

headachey


----------



## GraciaSeinoPie

I'm struggling to face my lack of confidence and self-belief, as well as weak communication skills are weak mental will. I've always known they are there, but sort of ignoring and pretending and hoping that they will fix themselves, somehow, one way or another. But they won't. I have to be the one to do something about that, as simple as that. No matter how many inspirational speeches, how-to videos, guides I've read, nothing will change until I do something. And today I'm facing with that fact. The fact I've been ignoring for years.

I'm scared of my unemployment right now. What if I can't find a job? What if I will just go to interviews, and then dead silence. What if I'm such a burden for my family? What to do if we run out of money and can't pay the bills? What if I have to move out on my own, to some place far away from my parents just to be able to find a job? There are just so many questions, scary questions and I don't have a clue what the answers are gonna be.

So yeah, I'm terrified. But I believe this is worth it. This struggle that I have been put off for so long, is what I have to face. And no one will do it for me, except me.


----------



## SparklingWater

hopeful. i can do this


----------



## riverbird

Nervous and scared but also optimistic.


----------



## Neal

Paranoid...

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk


----------



## Kevin001

Exhausted


----------



## Junpanda

Weltschermz. Was reading Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari and on the part where most of the things we are living for and working towards are all mere social construct, and imagined realities. It just feels that everything we're doing seems to be continuing building on this imagined realities. It just makes the world seems so much less attractive.


----------



## tea111red

:eyes :cry


----------



## novalax

I believe saudade is the word.


----------



## Mc Borg

I feel dead inside.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh


----------



## Crisigv

I'm losing my okay mood.


----------



## funnynihilist

I always feel weird in the morning


----------



## funnynihilist

Too much oatmeal *burp*


----------



## Crisigv

Crisigv said:


> I'm losing my okay mood.


Kinda came back.

I'll see how work goes.


----------



## laicoston

I feel like killing myself. I see no point the way things are going.


----------



## Skeletra

laicoston said:


> I feel like killing myself. I see no point the way things are going.


I don't know what's happening in your life, but suicide is a very permanent solution to something that's usually just a temporary problem. No matter how long that problem seems to draw out, there is a chance that working trough it will be worth it eventually. Not sure if those words have an effect on you. Sorry if I made it worse. Just felt like someone should say something. Big hugs :hug.


----------



## tea111red

hideous.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad, lonely, bored, blah, the usual, plus I have a stomach ache. :sigh


----------



## funnynihilist

I think I ate some bad cake.


----------



## Zatch

Tired as why. And a little nonplussed that my team lost!

[Angry rap music plays in the distance]


----------



## Xenacat

I've been very depressed lately. I just want to quit my job and stay home. SA dream.


----------



## Gothic Cupcakes

I felt pretty good about 6/7 hours ago, but now I'm on a down mood again


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am feeling okay-ish. Craving a cup of tea...

JOB UPDATE:

I might not get that temporary job after all, though. HR are being ridiculously slow on my mothers end at work.


----------



## tea111red

so damn bored.


----------



## harrison

Sort of washed out and weird. The last part's not all that unusual. Every time I take this medication I feel a bit sick, only to stop it and start getting manic and having migraines again. Nice choice to have to make.


----------



## TryingMara

Sleepy but fine.


----------



## Crisigv

meh


----------



## Jeff271

The locals are always so busy and I just want to chill out for the day.


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

Disrespected, hurt, and annoyed


----------



## EBecca

weird. As always


----------



## tea111red

i've been having a lot of rapid mood changes today. some very rapid. i literally felt hopeless, then hopeful for 1 minute and then back to feeling hopeless for a longer period. 

i really don't feel good.


----------



## herk

just found out someone i met and used to be really good friends with on here passed away recently. cant believe it. he was such a good dude.


----------



## Act to fall

I think dying is really the only thing that could make me happy


----------



## tea111red

herk said:


> just found out someone i met and used to be really good friends with on here passed away recently. cant believe it. he was such a good dude.


who?


----------



## kesker

like my goosebumps died.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

My feelings are boring, because they are repetitive. Honestly, I'm fine for all practical purposes.


I feel like I'm a target though. Try as I might, and as much as it fades (thank goodness for that fading!) I still seem to be a target. "sigh"


You know that I'm not important and I can't advance your career, so you might as well as leave me be. I'm harmless. Don't worry, I have no pull AND my boss makes it her priority to make that remain a reality. Do you understand? That means you don't have to f*** with me anymore. I just need my job, Sweetie. Okay? 


Keep on, keepin' on.


THE END


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Mostly okay, just one thing has me down. 

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## TryingMara

Crappy, tired, irritated, defeated.


----------



## CNikki

Like crap. Whatever I do ends up being disastrous. Tempted to ditch it all and start anew.


----------



## SparklingWater

determined


----------



## SparklingWater

annoyed and insecure (and still determined)


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Feeling blue and annoyed.  "tear"


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Feeling blue and annoyed.


 :squeeze Hope you feel better soon.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> :squeeze Hope you feel better soon.


Thanks! :squeeze


----------



## gthopia94

Agitated


----------



## CallmeIshmael

Bad bad, like bad. Thoughts I shouldn't be thinking.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired, happy, hopeful all in one.


----------



## twistix

Worried about family


----------



## tea111red

i'm so damn anxious and panicking really bad over near future stuff. i feel like i just want to put myself out of my misery.


----------



## tea111red

i feel so damn defeated and hopeless.


----------



## tehuti88

Bothered. There's a user whose posts I like and I've never had a problem with them but they just seemed to agree with another post that was ridiculing me.

I hate finding out that somebody I kind of liked apparently finds me ridiculous in response. :sigh


----------



## Neal

Anxious...i have my first in person interview tomorrow. I have to start wearing my night guard again because I think ive been grinding my teeth in my sleep again.


----------



## TryingMara

Sleepy.


----------



## Taaylah

Sick. My throat hurts. I think I have strep.


----------



## SparklingWater

annoyed


----------



## harrison

I think I'm having a mixed episode. Jesus I'm a mess.


----------



## tea111red

Afreen88 said:


> :squeeze
> 
> Don't know what's going on but I've read a few of your posts right now and you sound very distressed. Thinking of you. Things are overwhelming now but please allow some time so your feelings change. Not necessarily that you'll get happier, but maybe a little more calmer so you can think x I can talk if you want x


thank you.....yeah, i've been very distressed over my living and job situation, esp. the last few days. all the options i have are horrible. going into specifics feels too humiliating and is actually kind of sad to me, too. i would have to explain too much about things, too. things w/ are extremely complicated.

i've been trying to get it together, but it's very difficult. i feel like i'm losing my mind and feel so screwed. fighting off suicidal thoughts has been very difficult, esp. the last few days. i don't have a lot to draw strength from or give me hope right now. i don't know what i'm going to do or how to develop a good plan for how to deal w/ very near future events.

thank you again for your kind post....i do appreciate it.


----------



## thetown

A lot better now actually. I got the flu the day before my first finals and had the most stressful week of my life. I had to wake up at 3am everyday with a terrible fever and headache. I got plenty of sleep since then and feel a lot better now.


----------



## estse

Like scrambled eggs in a toaster oven.


----------



## tehuti88

tehuti88 said:


> Bothered. There's a user whose posts I like and I've never had a problem with them but they just seemed to agree with another post that was ridiculing me.
> 
> I hate finding out that somebody I kind of liked apparently finds me ridiculous in response. :sigh


I guess I'll just assume they always hated me, and will make sure to never bother them by quoting their posts. Not like this is the first time this has happened.

It makes me wonder how many other users secretly hate me. I'd rather not spend my time secretly liking them if so.


----------



## Blue Dino

tehuti88 said:


> Bothered. There's a user whose posts I like and I've never had a problem with them but they just seemed to agree with another post that was ridiculing me.
> 
> I hate finding out that somebody I kind of liked apparently finds me ridiculous in response. :sigh


Hehe.. I experienced that too. I guess you shouldn't be too quick to make a conclusion on someone. But if it was the post ridiculing you, I could see how stinging that must've felt. 



tea111red said:


> thank you.....yeah, i've been very distressed over my living and job situation, esp. the last few days. all the options i have are horrible. going into specifics feels too humiliating and is actually kind of sad to me, too. i would have to explain too much about things, too. things w/ are extremely complicated.
> 
> i've been trying to get it together, but it's very difficult. i feel like i'm losing my mind and feel so screwed. fighting off suicidal thoughts has been very difficult, esp. the last few days. i don't have a lot to draw strength from or give me hope right now. *i don't know what i'm going to do or how to develop a good plan for how to deal w/ very near future events.*


Yeah this.. I could relate. Just take it a day at a time, and before you know it, each day keeps coming and coming and the problem is gone, resolved or just dissipated. Just look forward to enjoying the little things and seek them out if needed.


----------



## SparklingWater

immensely thankful


----------



## tea111red

this stupid chainsaw..........:bash

barely even slept.


----------



## tea111red

Blue Dino said:


> Yeah this.. I could relate. Just take it a day at a time, and before you know it, each day keeps coming and coming and the problem is gone, resolved or just dissipated. Just look forward to enjoying the little things and seek them out if needed.


yeah, things usually work out in the end, but i am very afraid they aren't going to work out well for me.  still hoping they will, but i am the most doubtful i've ever been. i really hate having to be in such an extreme state of panic like i have been.

:stu

thank you....


----------



## tehuti88

Blue Dino said:


> Hehe.. I experienced that too. I guess you shouldn't be too quick to make a conclusion on someone. But if it was the post ridiculing you, I could see how stinging that must've felt.


I'm sorry you've been through the same. It sucks. 

The post ridiculing me was actually rather expected, since I already knew how that person felt about me, and I've gotten kind of used to being ridiculed around here, I don't even report it anymore. The one agreeing with it, though...that really hurt because I liked that user and didn't know they had a problem with me. 

And now it just happened again with yet another user. -_- Even more painful, I think I've interacted with this user in the past in a friendly manner.

It makes me feel like avoiding everyone but those I know very well so I don't end up hurt. But apparently there's no way to be sure who you know very well, since I thought I knew the above user well. I wish I were a much better judge of character.

...

Took me about a half hour to type this up and edit it and edit it again, and still I'm reluctant to post it. Kind of afraid of sharing too much around here right now since that's what opens me up to criticism/ridicule. -_-


----------



## Kevin001

Fugly.....and I have work soon ugh.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Kevin001 said:


> Fugly.....and I have work soon ugh.


Something like this...


----------



## gthopia94

Annoyed...but what else is new.


----------



## 1ShyKid

Very nervous and worried.


----------



## 123t123

I feel generally worried about everything. LOL


----------



## SparklingWater

****ty


----------



## Claymore007

I feel like crap and i'm getting a therapist next week to help me out.


----------



## TryingMara

Tired, drained. Today's meetings, commute, and other issues took a lot out of me.


----------



## herk

post steak haze


----------



## Act to fall

I need to be dead.


----------



## Neal

tehuti88 said:


> I'm sorry you've been through the same. It sucks.
> 
> The post ridiculing me was actually rather expected, since I already knew how that person felt about me, and I've gotten kind of used to being ridiculed around here, I don't even report it anymore. The one agreeing with it, though...that really hurt because I liked that user and didn't know they had a problem with me.
> 
> And now it just happened again with yet another user. -_- Even more painful, I think I've interacted with this user in the past in a friendly manner.
> 
> It makes me feel like avoiding everyone but those I know very well so I don't end up hurt. But apparently there's no way to be sure who you know very well, since I thought I knew the above user well. I wish I were a much better judge of character.
> 
> ...
> 
> Took me about a half hour to type this up and edit it and edit it again, and still I'm reluctant to post it. Kind of afraid of sharing too much around here right now since that's what opens me up to criticism/ridicule. -_-


I hope ive not done it. Im paranoid I might come off as too caustic on here.


----------



## Ai

Excited. About to spend the next day and afternoon with my boyfriend. This only getting to see one another once a month business is really stinkin' up the joint...



Act to fall said:


> I need to be dead.


Well, I need you not to be... So.

#overruled


----------



## Excaliber

Feeling good, counting down the days till the long weekend, got stuff planned.


----------



## tea111red

a lot of me feels dead.


----------



## Crisigv

All the energy has drained from me.


----------



## SparklingWater

Happy and excited lol. Rollercoaster of a few days sheesh. But I'm coming out on the other end far better than i started. All works out in the end.


----------



## tehuti88

Too afraid to even check my profile page.

Probably shouldn't have done that.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tehuti88 said:


> Too afraid to even check my profile page.
> 
> Probably shouldn't have done that.


If you mean your profile page here on SAS, I just looked at it, and I don't see anything out of the ordinary...


----------



## funnynihilist

I got to learn to take life more slowly


----------



## tehuti88

SamanthaStrange said:


> If you mean your profile page here on SAS, I just looked at it, and I don't see anything out of the ordinary...


I friend requested someone I've wanted on my friends list for a long time...I can't look at my friends list on my page, I feel too awful and embarrassed that they might have rejected it. I'll try not to take it personally if they do...I'll try to assume they have their reasons (privacy, maybe)...but I'm so horrible with such things. :afr This is maybe the second time I've friend requested somebody, and the other time I only did so because I asked them first and they said they would accept.

I feel like I've been too presumptuous and overstepped my bounds.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired and hungry. My interview this morning went alright, I guess. My mother mentioned to me that HR found someone with more experience than me, though. What else is new...


----------



## Cletis

Pretty good, actually.


----------



## CNikki

Restless.


----------



## TryingMara

Desperate and despondent.


----------



## tea111red

blah.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely.


----------



## Crisigv

Annoyed that I'm awake. So naturally my crappy feelings are coming around.


----------



## SparklingWater

amused


----------



## harrison

Surprised. I'm amazed how quickly these pills worked - only 2 days and they've brought me back down plus I felt calm. I got some things done today that I'd been wanting to do for ages. I think the slight sedative effect wears off after a few days - that's a pity, I love that feeling of being slightly out of it - I've always liked that feeling a bit too much. But I need to remember that these work - I always tell myself they don't. I forget so much it's ridiculous.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling better after laughing at the ways Regina attempts to put Ralph off singing to her -






:lol


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Dudeeeeeee I feel so ****in' happy right now. My crush opened up to me today about things he's insecure about. I feel so trusted and loved. Confide in me babyyyyy.

I mean, I also found out that he was the one who hacked the school network last year, therefore there's the real possibility that he has seen some of the **** I've posted here through that network last year, but... it doesn't really bother me.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious and uncomfortable.


----------



## 1975

angry.


----------



## SparklingWater

scared, ill and fat.


----------



## Ai

Depressed. I think my childhood separation anxiety is returning with a vengeance... Excellent. :blank


----------



## Crisigv

Invisible and sad


----------



## Ai

Humiliated that I continue to be so stupid.


----------



## CNikki

Like poop.


----------



## catcharay

Nervous. Visiting a dog "free to good home" and it feels like I'm going to an interview.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired and anxious


----------



## funnynihilist

Bored


----------



## funnynihilist

And the neighbors are shooting loud guns


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, sad, and lonely.


----------



## SofaKing

Alone eating at the end of a bar...yeah...living the life.

#Norm!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## funnynihilist

SofaKing said:


> Alone eating at the end of a bar...yeah...living the life.
> 
> #Norm!
> 
> Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


Hey! Got to give you credit for that. Eating in a bar or restaurant alone takes guts!


----------



## SofaKing

funnynihilist said:


> Hey! Got to give you credit for that. Eating in a bar or restaurant alone takes guts!


Thanks...as a long time business traveler, I got used to it.

Kinda sucks to watch others have fun, but that's that.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Kevin001

thatsher said:


> It's the saddest thing in the world that I lost the love of my life. It seriously felt like we were meant for each other. But I understand the circumstances. It's hard for both of us. We were together all the time. We helped each other out all the time. We visited so many places together. There isn't one place that doesn't remind me of him. He's going to leave a huge gap in my life. I'm sure I'll bump into him here and there. I'm just glad it's not a messy game playing breakup. There are lots of emotions involved. We don't want it but we were forced to end it. Evil human beings.


Oh wow so what was the problem?


----------



## Crisigv

Bored and sad with my thoughts.


----------



## SparklingWater

cautious


----------



## Vip3r

I feel so disconnected from people. It's like I am in some twilight zone where I can see people but they can't see me.


----------



## SparklingWater

achy hopeful insecure boring bored


----------



## AffinityWing

Gleeful


----------



## catcharay

My insecurities are screaming. I've been doing so well, exercised everyday this week. Also, I feel paranoid about my literal security too, it feels like the neighbours are staking out (following)etc. 
I also wonder if the question "does the dog get exercise a lot?" is a weird question to a prospective dog giver.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I'm having one of those days when everyone and everything is annoying me. :blank


----------



## Crisigv

As I predicted. I think I felt this way the entire week and then some. Longest stretch for sure.


----------



## CallmeIshmael

I feel like I'm going to die. Anxiety attack and the worst depression. I see nothing, nothing.


----------



## SparklingWater

preemptively exhausted for the next 2 days of socializing with my sister and her friends


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@realisticandhopeful

 :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

Please no.  :hug


----------



## Jeff271

A bit tired, went for a long bike ride up a hill by a bobcat mural and then whooshed back. Nice day out. Snarfing sunflower seeds.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

So sad.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SamanthaStrange

Oi, chin up.


----------



## tehuti88

Sad and discouraged. I wish I would get better. -_-


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tehuti88

 :hug

Chin up, stay strong.


----------



## harrison

SamanthaStrange said:


> I'm having one of those days when everyone and everything is annoying me. :blank


I get like that too. With me it's usually when I'm starting to get a bit manic - I get very irritable. Everything just drives me crazy. I always say that I'm not fit to be in public when I'm like that - so I usually just try and stay home until it goes away.

Hope you're feeling better anyway.


----------



## harrison

I feel like I'm getting another migraine. Just looking at the screen makes me feel it behind my eyes - I can tell they're changing too lately - less pain but lots of aura and they last longer. I was reading on a bipolar forum how migraines are closely linked to bipolar - I guess it stands to reason.


----------



## Neal

For the first time in 10 years I have nothing stressing me out or depressing me. Im actually happy. Now watch I end up dying in some freak accident tomorrow.


----------



## Crisigv

horrible


----------



## forever in flux

Neal said:


> For the first time in 10 years I have nothing stressing me out or depressing me. Im actually happy. Now watch I end up dying in some freak accident tomorrow.


Lol long may it last!


----------



## tea111red

too tense.


----------



## BlankMind33

I just started taking 100mg zoloft daily last Thursday and I'm feeling just blank, not bad yet not good just numbingly blank, which is better than being depressed and anxious I suppose.


----------



## 2am

I feel like this.


----------



## 2am

2am said:


> I feel like this.


>


----------



## forever in flux

minty fresh


----------



## tea111red

weird.


----------



## The Library of Emma

feeling so angry and frustrated with the necessary growing and expanding of different ideas, having to let them in, in order to accept or reject them and not stay mentally stagnant. The frustration comes when i begin to realize everyone is trying to convince me of something. i'm not free to move around through different presented ideas and pick and choose-- it feels that everyone wants to grab hold of me and force their way of thinking on me. At the moment, this includes issues of religion, sexuality, gender equality and gender roles. I go into articles looking for possible answers and go out wishing they would leave me well alone. :bash


----------



## Kevin001

Groggy my alarm didn't go off...ugh.


----------



## SparklingWater

hopeful!! oh and a little annoyed i cant remember something important


----------



## forever in flux

Bored. This website is very buggy, half my buttons don't work anymore and I can't even use the correct emoticon to express my annoyance [email protected]


----------



## SamanthaStrange

forever in flux said:


> Bored. This website is very buggy, half my buttons don't work anymore and I can't even use the correct emoticon to express my annoyance [email protected]


Here, I'll post some for you...

:mum :bah :bash


----------



## forever in flux

SamanthaStrange said:


> Here, I'll post some for you...
> 
> :mum :bah :bash


 lol thanks


----------



## forever in flux

tea111red said:


> blaaaaaaaharrrrghhuuuuughhh.


Yeah me too, good isn't it?


----------



## tea111red

forever in flux said:


> Yeah me too, good isn't it?


yep....still feeling that good feeling.


----------



## Ventura

Struggling today


----------



## tieffers

hungry af and ashamed of myself


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely.


----------



## ZombieIcecream

Grateful.


----------



## solasum

Guilty and cheap


----------



## Kevin001

solasum said:


> Guilty and cheap


Don't let boys be mean to you. :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

h i d e o u s .


----------



## solasum

Kevin001 said:


> Don't let boys be mean to you. :squeeze


Thank you  I actually have that feeling after hanging out with some stupid, trashy acquaintances that I'm having trouble ghosting. On that note, do you know how to prevent a single person from posting on one's FB timeline?


----------



## SparklingWater

annoyed


----------



## Kevin001

solasum said:


> On that note, do you know how to prevent a single person from posting on one's FB timeline?


I don't have facebook. Maybe block them? :stu


----------



## solasum

@Kevin001

I wish I had your discipline.


----------



## Kevin001

solasum said:


> @Kevin001
> 
> I wish I had your discipline.


Aww, lol. Be strong. :squeeze


----------



## solasum

Kevin001 said:


> Aww, lol. Be strong. :squeeze


Thank you. :hug


----------



## Herzeleid

Kinda awful, I just want to disappear.


----------



## SparklingWater

worried


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Annoyed, anxious, restless, and lonely.


----------



## AceEmoKid

honestly i should be feeling pretty pissed right about now. so much **** has gone down with the house i'm moving into with my friends...including now this dude who's gonna be living for free in our garage for a few months (literally why the **** has he not had a job...for over 2 years he's just been freeloading and partying almost every night of his life wtf). it feels so unfair that i'm paying all my savings out of pocket while everyone else living in that house is getting their parents to pay for everything. even though we're all adults and graduated from college already.....like. it did get me pretty pissed earlier. but then my friend, who i'm splitting a room with, is trying to be a little nicer and is helping me by paying a larger portion of the furniture we're splitting costs on. so at least that's cool.

but god most of all i just feel gay af rn. i can't stop feeling giddy....even tho i'm unsure if this dude likes me. like he told me when we first started talking that he liked me....and he tells me that i'm hot and compliments me a lot and sends kissy/blushy faces all the time....plus a ****load of voice messages of him singing for me....but i seriously can't tell if he's just that kind of person? just like super touchy feely but not always with the intention of being flirtatious? idk but god i feel so happy dlsajdksajdsaljkd he messaged me first thing when he woke up too a few minutes ago....like............please tell me that he likes me. pleeaaaaaaaase omgod. he's skeptical about long distance but idk...he seems like he goes out of the way to get my attention a lot and be super nice and flirty lskjaldkjaksdjsaldj

ok im done


----------



## tea111red




----------



## thetown

I have to read through this 600 page book to prepare for interviews in a couple of months. This has been really taxing on my mental health. The questions are so hard for me, and I literally cried yesterday when I couldn't solve one in 2 hours.  I'm not even confident that I'll even finish half of the book now.


----------



## forever in flux

Lovecrushed said:


> I have to read through this 600 page book to prepare for interviews in a couple of months. This has been really taxing on my mental health. The questions are so hard for me, and I literally cried yesterday when I couldn't solve one in 2 hours.  I'm not even confident that I'll even finish half of the book now.


Are you training to become a doctor? What is this book you speak of?


----------



## Lohikaarme




----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Disgruntled and annoyed.


----------



## SparklingWater

insecure


----------



## slyfox

Exhausted


----------



## thetown

forever in flux said:


> Are you training to become a doctor? What is this book you speak of?


It's for Software Engineering. Companies like asking algorithmic problems for applicants to solve on the whiteboard in interviews. They can be really tough depending on the company. There is a very broad range of questions that they can ask, so it can be difficult to prepare for them.


----------



## forever in flux

Lovecrushed said:


> It's for Software Engineering. Companies like asking algorithmic problems for applicants to solve on the whiteboard in interviews. They can be really tough depending on the company. There is a very broad range of questions that they can ask, so it can be difficult to prepare for them.


Oh right, it sounds very taxing. Good luck with it all, hope your efforts pay off.


----------



## 629753

feeling nice 

no feelings but i dropped the dose


----------



## noydb

I am not sure.


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Irritable.


----------



## funnynihilist

Standing over steam because I have a bad sinus headache


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Kinda crappy.


----------



## tea111red

suicidal again.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tea111red said:


> suicidal again.




Please do not go through with that.


----------



## Barakiel

Tired and lethargic (more than usual that is), and only after I've gone back to a regular sleeping pattern. Perhaps I'm simply meant to be nocturnal by nature?


----------



## Herzeleid

Empty, as usual.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SamanthaStrange @tea111red @Sheska

 :hug

@Barakiel @RedMedicine


----------



## catcharay

umh s*it. Always eat bad at my parents place.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@catcharay

 :hug

Chin up.


----------



## catcharay

@ANX1 Thank you I'm good lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@catcharay

You're welcome. 

Ok.


----------



## Karsten

Restless.


----------



## tea111red

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Please do not go through with that.


thanks....i just went to sleep instead, but i still feel a lot of despair.

i feel like i want to go back to sleep again.


----------



## SparklingWater

worried and hypervigilant, apathetic and bored, hopeful

that's the one thing that always bowled me over in therapy, how all these feelings could exist within us at the very same time. i'm in a good mood, but as my focus shifts to about different topics i have kinda a set emotion regarding them. yet i am in a good mood lol. an entire universe resides within all of us


----------



## noydb

Miserable and hopeless.


----------



## Kevin001

noydb said:


> Miserable and hopeless.


 :squeeze


----------



## 629753

Nice, still numb from the pills doe


----------



## noydb

Kevin001 said:


> :squeeze


Aww, thanks Kevin :squeeze


----------



## farfegnugen

Pretty awful. Fortunately, I don't get sick too often, because I am a big wuss about it.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

noydb said:


> Miserable and hopeless.


Awww!  :hug


----------



## TryingMara

Hungry and a little worried.


----------



## Kevin001

Meh my stomach hurts.....but did get a good pump from my workout so.


----------



## tea111red

extremely depressed and anxious.


----------



## Neal

Bored. I need to get out more...

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk


----------



## noydb

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Awww!  :hug


Thank you :hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Restless and lonely.


----------



## kivi

Exhausted. I cut one of my finger (small one) and my another finger peeled because of using a utility knife for hours (really). I also have stomachache.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

 :hug

Maybe some sleep will help? 

@SamanthaStrange

Awww :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@kivi

 :hug


----------



## tea111red

kjdfkvljifvkhj . ufheiwoufy783yugfh****rfeufiu4********njkhrfui3furjf.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

 :hug


----------



## ZombieIcecream

Welp.


----------



## kivi

@ANX1 thanks

---

I'm still tired and both of my hands aches, especially their joint areas. I need to go to the city center to buy cardboards but I don't feel like I can today (but I have to).


----------



## funnynihilist

Well I sure am feeling sad today.
You know, now that I'm older I realize that you can be sad all you want, the world and people and things aren't going to change.
But some days you just feel sad and that's OK.


----------



## funnynihilist

My life feels FLAT! Everything is FLAT!


----------



## farfegnugen

^ maybe a break from the Flat Earth Society 

I feel awful. I think this is the worst I've felt since that avian influenza outbreak was going around about 10 years ago. Missed a chance for a good hike with a group of people and going to see the new Alien feature. At least I have hockey tonight.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@kivi

You're welcome. 

 :hug


----------



## ZombieIcecream




----------



## SamanthaStrange

Alone, and like I don't belong anywhere.


----------



## tehuti88

I'm worried so much about these pouches, my stoma, this hernia. This surgery was supposed to solve my problems, not create new ones. I wish I had nothing to worry about for once.


----------



## SparklingWater

annoyed


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

ZombieIcecream said:


>









SamanthaStrange said:


> Alone, and like I don't belong anywhere.


Awww. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tehuti88

 :hug

@realisticandhopeful

 :hug


----------



## Kevin001

Just really hungry, haven't eaten in awhile.


----------



## ShiftyShifty

I am feeling so much better I forgot that I hadn't even used this forum in a month ... Just turned 23 and it's not one of those bitter "I'm getting older" birthdays. I'm just thinking about how much better my mentality is than it was last year. I still don't have friends, but I have more confidence in public and don't dread being judged any more. To think of where I was last year is bad enough. Me at 19 (my worst year) vs. now is night and day.


----------



## tea111red

.....


----------



## Neal

Guilty

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk


----------



## Ai

Very sore, but also emotionally peaceful. Since the store was closed for the holiday and it was gorgeous outside, a close high school friend of mine that's just moved back into the area and I took an 11 mile bike ride down this trail we enjoy. I am woefully out of shape and probably should not have pushed myself so much--but I am also stubborn and never accept defeat. lol Nevertheless, I had a wonderful time and always feel much better after a day in nature.

... everywhere but my legs, I guess... lol


----------



## Blue Dino

Ai said:


> Very sore, but also emotionally peaceful. Since the store was closed for the holiday and it was gorgeous outside, a close high school friend of mine that's just moved back into the area and I took an 11 mile bike ride down this trail we enjoy. I am woefully out of shape and probably should not have pushed myself so much--but I am also stubborn and never accept defeat. lol Nevertheless, I had a wonderful time and always feel much better after a day in nature.
> 
> ... everywhere but my legs, I guess... lol


That's nice to read, kinda envy you. Most of mine moved out far away a long time ago and never looked back.


----------



## unknovvn

Not entirely sure. Empty? Dissociated? Just bored? Flat I guess


----------



## Ai

Blue Dino said:


> That's nice to read, kinda envy you. Most of mine moved out far away a long time ago and never looked back.


Yeah, mine too, unfortunately. :/ There's one I haven't heard from (save for about 30 minutes when she dropped in town for a funeral a few years back) pretty much _since her high school graduation party_... We were so close in high school. Now? Nothing. It's like she's been simply scattered into the ether. A large part of me suspects it's because of her controlling, douchebag husband. He was that way when they were only dating--only wanted her to hang out with him and his friends on weekends, tried to actively stop her from being friends with the mutual one I hung out with yesterday _(clearly he was pretending to be gay for the last 17 years of his life just so that he could get in her pants... Like. He was literally convinced K was PRETENDING to be gay. To get in her pants...)_ I can't imagine he stopped once they tied the knot. :blank


----------



## AffinityWing

A little happy

I went to the bank to withdraw money and found out that the woman at the front desk shared my birthday. She seemed like a really fun, nice lady and my anxiety didn't seem too bad in the situation. I said "Yaay, Taurus Pride!" and "Even though we are a little lazy..." and she responded "Just a little?" :lol


----------



## unemployment simulator

relieved! people have been doing building work ALL day, normally just a couple of hours - half a day, maybe until 5pm latest. today they were working until 6pm and I was starting to get a bit stressed out... been putting off doing anything since I would feel so self conscious about doing so today. some days I am ok, other days I just wanna hide.


----------



## farfegnugen

Never gonna take my health for granted.  Finally can breath for the first time in about 4 days. Still feel like ****, and really it seems impossible to take a break to get healthy. Too many people wanting too many things.


----------



## firestar

So anxious I'm climbing the walls. Heart racing all the time, even when I'm sitting still.

I remember this feeling. I _hate _this feeling. It stops me from sleeping. It makes me irritable.

My brother was living with me when I felt like this last year. He listened to me complain a lot. He deserves a medal. I hate it when I'm like this.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Overwhelming loneliness.


----------



## Kevin001

Groggy


----------



## SparklingWater

Stressed confused overwhelmed


----------



## forever in flux

SamanthaStrange said:


> Overwhelming loneliness.


:squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

forever in flux said:


> :squeeze


Thank you.


----------



## kivi

I'm disgusted with so many things.


----------



## Crisigv

alone


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> alone


If you ever need to chat, I am here. :hug :squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> If you ever need to chat, I am here. :hug :squeeze


I'll just bore you to death, like I do everyone else. That's why I'm alone.


----------



## SparklingWater

excited and intrigued


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> alone


 :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

"yawn"


----------



## Cranes in the Sky

...like my avatar.


----------



## slyfox

In pain. My back is really bothering me


----------



## firestar

So, so tired. I've been so anxious recently that I've been having trouble sleeping. I've been getting up early, restless and energetic during the day, and then crash early. 

The sleeping is the worst part. There's really no reason for me to be awake at 4:30 or 5 a.m. every day, but still, somehow, I am.


----------



## farfegnugen

Well, it's almost officially been a week of being sick. I really need to get beyond this soon. The whole week has been a blur of mostly inactivity. Can't really remember facing something like this since I was a small kid. It's probably going to take me a month to recover my lung capacity to do any serious fitness things. Blargh


----------



## Ai

Irritated, shaky, and phone fatigued. I don't know why getting _any_ information from the various branches of medicaid-related offices has to be such a giant, complicated production. I just wanted to know who my damn caseworker is. (-_-) And after all that, I wasn't even able to get a hold of them.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey




----------



## SplendidBob

Sad, she did it again. Absolutely pointless waste of a really good friendship.


----------



## Jeff271

^sorry

good and relaxed, went biking and picked up some burritos


----------



## moemo

:sigh Trying to figure out why I want to be friends with someone. I have no clue how to approach it especially since the person is of the opposite sex. My anxiety makes it so hard for me to know what to do.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

In need of a stretch, massage, & shower


----------



## Flora20

Tired, sad, and lonely..


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired. My sleep schedule is so ****ed.


----------



## firestar

SamanthaStrange said:


> Tired. My sleep schedule is so ****ed.


I know the feeling. I've been so anxious that I've been waking up in the middle of the night and staying awake for an hour or two until I can finally fall back asleep, over and over.


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

My cat suddenly collapsed yesterday morning, a few days before her 20th birthday. I don't know how much longer she's going to last.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

LydeaCharlotte said:


> My cat suddenly collapsed yesterday morning, a few days before her 20th birthday. I don't know how much longer she's going to last.


Sorry to hear.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Loopy.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Not awesome.


----------



## firestar

Sad. 

I believe my sister will try. I believe that she is a good, kind, sweet person. But I know that, just like almost everyone else in my life (with a few, precious exceptions), she will slowly fade out of my life. She means well, but that's usually not enough. Everyone is a good person. Everyone means well. 

This isn't me being pessimistic. This is something that has happened to me over and over and over.


----------



## firestar

What makes all of this worse is that I just went through this with my mother. She swore to me that she understood everything I was saying, that she would change, that she would _not _let me push her away, that she loved me no matter what . . .

And then didn't contact me at all for an entire month.

It's deja vu all over again.


----------



## Crisigv

i'm sad


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am feeling tired and lonely, what else is new.

I need to start keeping better sleeping hours, but when you know that you have nothing to wake up for, you kind of just stop caring about getting up at a decent hour and end up sleeping almost half the day away.

My blind eye is bugging me again. Wonderful.



LydeaCharlotte said:


> My cat suddenly collapsed yesterday morning, a few days before her 20th birthday. I don't know how much longer she's going to last.


The poor cat! Hope she is okay!


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

ANX1 said:


> Sorry to hear.





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am feeling tired and lonely, what else is new.
> 
> I need to start keeping better sleeping hours, but when you know that you have nothing to wake up for, you kind of just stop caring about getting up at a decent hour and end up sleeping almost half the day away.
> 
> My blind eye is bugging me again. Wonderful.
> 
> The poor cat! Hope she is okay!


Thanks both, she has been laid out sleeping on a rug for hours and hours, and may now be showing signs of waking up. Your eye sounds like a nasty problem. I have long-standing issues with sleeping hours myself, not sure how much I care about loneliness any more.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@LydeaCharlotte

You're welcome. 

Good to hear.


----------



## farfegnugen

Still sick. Beginning to wonder if I am going to get well, so I started my Last Will and Testament. Think I'm leaving everything to the Amish. Next week: cure cancer, write the greatest novel as of yet, and begin carving a series of obelisk digits in reference to Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle religion of Bokononism.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cursed.


----------



## shyvr6

Pretty sad. Just had to put my cat down after eleven years. He had big tumor in his stomach that was just getting worse which was causing him to have labored breathing. The vet couldn't do anything for him.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

shyvr6 said:


> Pretty sad. Just had to put my cat down after eleven years. He had big tumor in his stomach that was just getting worse which was causing him to have labored breathing. The vet couldn't do anything for him.


 I'm sorry for your loss. :squeeze


----------



## MissingCub

Unstable
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## shyvr6

SamanthaStrange said:


> I'm sorry for your loss. :squeeze


Thanks :squeeze


----------



## Overdrive

SamanthaStrange said:


> Cursed.


No you're not :smile2:


----------



## riverbird

shyvr6 said:


> Pretty sad. Just had to put my cat down after eleven years. He had big tumor in his stomach that was just getting worse which was causing him to have labored breathing. The vet couldn't do anything for him.


I'm sorry. :squeeze I had to do the same for my cat a few months ago. It sucks.


----------



## Crisigv

SamanthaStrange said:


> Cursed.


Me too. I haven't always known about social anxiety, but ever since I was little, I knew I was cursed.


----------



## murrcat

Sorry, I have no one to rant to today so this is going to be a little long... 


I feel, like the title says, as if no one takes me seriously. It's like no matter what I say or how I say things, no one believes what I say. For example, something that happened to me an hour ago I live in an apartment complex and in my room the closet is a mirror that slides. My boyfriend recently broke the mirror by closing it like he normally would and it cracked. Now keep in mind, this apartment complex has been around since the 1960s and mine has yet to get updated as some of the other apartment buildings have. Everything breaks so easily in this apartment. I went to the lady in the rental office and told her about the incident. She kept telling me that it was "impossible" for that to have happened and that I would have to have slammed the door in order for it to break. First of all, my boyfriend didn't slam the door. I was there when it happened and I didn't even hear the door close, I just walked in a minute later and saw it was cracked. SO clearly it's not impossible because it happened!! I just feel like the whole time she was acting like I was an idiot and didn't know left from right. Not to mention the fact that she kept bringing up the fact that it's expensive to fix and she kept telling me her financial issues as if I actually care about any of her problems. I was more along the lines trying to get my point across that it actually did happen, since she continuously said it was impossible. I kept telling her that I understood the crappy mirror was expensive. I didn't care how much it cost at the time, at that point I was just concerned and pissed that she kept saying it was impossible. As a side note though, I shouldn't have to pay for something that broke because it's old, but I didn't even get to say that because the lady would NOT let me speak. OH and not to mention the fact that I practically begged my mom to talk because I know they don't take me seriously (and clearly I was right) but apparently my mom doesn't believe me either because she was there the whole time and didn't say A WORD. Keep in mind, I'm 20 years old and I get told that I look around 22 all of the time so it's not like I have a baby face. Maybe it's my voice? I don't know, I get told that I have an attitude, then again I get told I don't speak loud enough, but don't people listen to those with an attitude? I'm very shy and reserved, I don't speak much and I refrained myself from snapping on her because my mom was there but I just felt so belittled and not taken seriously. It happens with everyone. My old roommates, my friends (the little amount that I have), my old friends, my colleagues, my boyfriend, my mom. I'm just tired of saying things and no one believing me when i'm right. I'm at the point where I'd just rather not be alive to say anything. What's the point of having a voice if you're never heard?


----------



## catcharay

Digital privacy is out the window, its expected that big brother will pry. Its changed my online behaviour, become more paranoid and feel ppl are eavesdroppng on devices.


----------



## Ai

Ill. Worried I'm about to come down with a stomach bug or something. But I often end up feeling nauseous for no reason, so it's hard to tell... I _don't_ usually have hot and cold flashes, though.

I cannot afford to be sick. I have work in the morning. :sigh

Ps. I used to think there was nothing more unpleasant than vomiting. Then I spent the past half hour dry heaving.... Uggh. All the terrible with none of the relief.


----------



## komorikun

Ai said:


> Ill. Worried I'm about to come down with a stomach bug or something. But I often end up feeling nauseous for no reason, so it's hard to tell... I _don't_ usually have hot and cold flashes, though.
> 
> I cannot afford to be sick. I have work in the morning. :sigh
> 
> Ps. I used to think there was nothing more unpleasant than vomiting. Then I spent the past half hour dry heaving.... Uggh. All the terrible with none of the relief.


Drink a cup of water and then try puking. You'll puke it up along with some bile. It will relieve the nausea for a while. I have a lot of experience with this......hangovers from hell.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

SamanthaStrange said:


> Cursed.


I'm feeling cursed right now too


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

shyvr6 said:


> Pretty sad. Just had to put my cat down after eleven years. He had big tumor in his stomach that was just getting worse which was causing him to have labored breathing. The vet couldn't do anything for him.


Oh sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, despite a little revival on Monday morning (her birthday), it seems my cat was probably too far gone to be revived. So the vet came and had her put down. It may well have been a stroke, if not two. She has been here since arriving as a kitten in 1997 with her sister (who died on December 23 2014). I'm also pretty sad, and a bit guilty for not giving her frequent enough stroking and chatting in recent months.


----------



## SplendidBob

Sheska said:


> It's my day off. It's raining. It's nice and cool for a change and I don't have to rush out of the house at an ungodly hour. Should really grab some more sleep but I'm wide awake. What to do..?


I recommend this weirdo's nice plump animals pinterest page: https://uk.pinterest.com/splendidbob/nice-plump-animals/ for a few minutes at least.


----------



## Ai

komorikun said:


> Drink a cup of water and then try puking. You'll puke it up along with some bile. It will relieve the nausea for a while. I have a lot of experience with this......hangovers from hell.


Fortunately, I was tired enough, I suppose, that I was able to drift off and sleep through it. I am feeling considerably better this morning, though. Must have been just another of my body's annoying quirks.

Thanks for the advice, though! Will keep it in mind. Can't imagine this won't happen again... -_-


----------



## CNikki

Anxious. Hoping that the testing I'm going for works out.


----------



## shyvr6

riverbird said:


> I'm sorry. :squeeze I had to do the same for my cat a few months ago. It sucks.





LydeaCharlotte said:


> Oh sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, despite a little revival on Monday morning (her birthday), it seems my cat was probably too far gone to be revived. So the vet came and had her put down. It may well have been a stroke, if not two. She has been here since arriving as a kitten in 1997 with her sister (who died on December 23 2014). I'm also pretty sad, and a bit guilty for not giving her frequent enough stroking and chatting in recent months.


Thanks for the support. Sorry to hear for your losses as well. I hope no one else's cat goes.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling sick


----------



## twistix

Uncomfortable


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely.


----------



## twistix

SamanthaStrange said:


> Lonely.


:squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

twistix said:


> :squeeze


Thanks. :squeeze for you, too.


----------



## Ai

Highly annoyed. Not sure why it's so difficult for my caseworker to take literally less than five minutes out of her day to return my phone calls JUST ONCE so that I can file these god damned papers before my deadline expires... I understand she likely has a heavy caseload. But my concerns are not complicated. Her job is _supposed_ to include helping those assigned to her. She is not ****ing helping me. And if I miss this deadline because of her, she is not the one who is going to be blamed... she is not the one who is going to lose medical coverage...


----------



## Ai

Caseworker FINALLY called me back. So that is sorted, thankfully.

Now I'm a little bit in shock. I like really politely and nicely tried to explain to someone why asking LGBTQ+ folk "why they need pride" is likely to start an argument, even _with a highlighted disclaimer that I wasn't insinuating she was doing anything malicious_... And b*tch FLIPPED HER SH*T on me... Called me a cvnt... among other things... I'm like... just kind of stunned and a little bit confused... like...woah...what...WOAH..... WHAT JUST HAPPENED...

The internet, man...

It's a rollercoaster


----------



## SplendidBob

Irritated. Pretty sure low blood pressure is screwing me up, or anaemia due to the folic acid thing. Think another docs appointment is needed. Here's what happens, I stand up to do some **** (tidying up, cleaning, whatever) after 5 mins I have god awful fatigue, feel nauseous, really warm, pulse racing, slightly dizzy. Also getting pretty bad dizzyness on standing. It's been this way for a looong time now.

Blood pressure was like 88/55 or something when standing (right arm), 105/70 on the left arm, when I go into the doctors its like 140/80 :lol (anxiety, I assume) so even though I tell them it's low here, they don't take it seriously. But they don't take low blood pressure seriously anyway.

And when this happens I get really irritated too (presumably because my brain isn't getting oxygen) and my neck aches because I am standing, and I just get super pissed off at having this crap and not being able explain to anyone how disruptive it is, because everyone else can apparently _just stand for as long as they like and do crazy **** like look downwards_.

So ****ing annoying grrr.


----------



## Paul

Ai said:


> Now I'm a little bit in shock. I like really politely and nicely tried to explain to someone why asking LGBTQ+ folk "why they need pride" is likely to start an argument, even _with a highlighted disclaimer that I wasn't insinuating she was doing anything malicious_... And b*tch FLIPPED HER SH*T on me... Called me a cvnt... among other things... I'm like... just kind of stunned and a little bit confused... like...woah...what...WOAH..... WHAT JUST HAPPENED...


Sounds like a troll who posted with the intent of starting an argument and finding someone to yell at, and was happy to see your reply as an opportunity for the flip out she was hoping for. So you made someone happy, congrats.

Glad they got your insurance sorted.


----------



## Flora20

Sad and empty..


----------



## Ai

Paul said:


> Sounds like a troll who posted with the intent of starting an argument and finding someone to yell at, and was happy to see your reply as an opportunity for the flip out she was hoping for. So you made someone happy, congrats.


Sad thing is, I don't think she actually _was_ a troll. I think she's just dumb... and startlingly emotional and defensive for someone who had just until that point been accusing other people of being too sensitive and "always trying to make everything negative." lol She likely skimmed my post very quickly or stopped a quarter of the way through, assumed I was attacking her, and ran with it screeching into the night. :lol

If we're to be honest, though, I'm not entirely blameless either. It wasn't bright of me to assume I could have a mature and informative discussion about homosexuality with someone in my community. lol I plead temporary insanity...



> Glad they got your insurance sorted.


Not _quite_. But getting there! Hopefully. lol


----------



## 8888

Flora20 said:


> Sad and empty..


----------



## 8888

I'm feeling good today, better than usual. I enjoyed going shopping and I had a productive day.


----------



## firestar

Worried. 

I'm pretty sure I'm never going to sleep again. I'm just not. Why am I the one who gets told these things?!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed. Lonely. Restless.


----------



## forever in flux

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed. Lonely. Restless.


:squeeze sorry to hear that


----------



## SamanthaStrange

forever in flux said:


> :squeeze sorry to hear that


Thanks.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed. Lonely. Restless.


Me too. I felt rather sad today for some reason.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@firestar

 :hug

Try to think of something else that makes you happy. I know it's hard to do, but try. When you do, tend to be able to sleep.

@SamanthaStrange

Awwww. :hug 

Chin up.


----------



## AffinityWing

Melancholic


----------



## Crisigv

Frustrated. I should relax and not stress until I know what happens at work. They want to do things the hard way, fine.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pretty dejected.


----------



## catcharay

Finished a phone interview and I feel such relief but I think it went like hell.


----------



## jennay92

Earlier I post how I was feeling ready to get out of a ****ty relationship I was in. Well,I ended it. I feel awful. I hurt him so much and i broke him.However,I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It feels so right and it was definitely supposed to happen.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling sick again


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Felt super unmotivated to do anything of substance today.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad and lonely, like I do every night.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Sad and lonely, like I do every night.


Me too. :sigh


----------



## TwerkinForTalos

Frustrated.


----------



## Smiddy

Like butts


----------



## ShadowOne

i just want to pet some ****ing dogs right now...


----------



## Kevin001

Groggy


----------



## ZombieIcecream

ANX1 said:


> Awww. :hug


:lol


----------



## ZombieIcecream

*Basically* :










At least I was productive today.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

ZombieIcecream said:


> :lol


----------



## f1ora

uuuuuuuglyyy


----------



## Crisigv

Can I just rip my heart out of my chest?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Can I just rip my heart out of my chest?


Okay, now you are starting to seriously scare me.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I had the urge to self-harm right now, so I did the deed again after being clean for over 2 years.

The pain, and the resulting endorphin rush, felt good. Really good.


----------



## Lohikaarme




----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

Mentally slow. Can. Hardly. Put. Words. Together. Time to sleep and start this useless routine over.


----------



## analyticalan

Lonely and isolated. I feel like none of my friends has time to hang out with me and that they're too busy with their own lives to check in on how I'm doing.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I'm tired of being a shoulder to cry on for people who can't even be bothered to respond when I feel like talking about something.


----------



## Melancholicmushrooms

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I had the urge to self-harm right now, so I did the deed again after being clean for over 2 years.
> 
> The pain, and the resulting endorphin rush, felt good. Really good.


Oh.... babe. That breaks my heart. I'm sorry you feel that compulsion. Sending you all my love. I'm here if you ever need to talk. Hugs


----------



## Melancholicmushrooms

Feeling pretty low this morning.


----------



## dune87

hi?


----------



## Ominous Indeed




----------



## SparklingWater

annoyed but not at all surprised


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@realisticandhopeful

 :hug


----------



## Kevin001

Nervous and excited.


----------



## SplendidBob

Flat. Feel messed around and am weary of it all. I need to crack on with my broader exposure / self improvement plan and start implementing it but am struggling with the details and breaking down goals to actionable steps.

Need to find something to do for exposure today as well


----------



## analyticalan

I feel really nervous about a possible job opportunity that I have to call back for tomorrow.


----------



## probably offline

****ty (I want to trade bodies with someone else)


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Melancholic.


----------



## Taaylah

probably offline said:


> ****ty (I want to trade bodies with someone else)


I was going to say the same thing. I get that feeling a lot, wanting to be someone else.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Same as before. 

Melancholic.


----------



## Crisigv

Not good. Maybe I won't wait until I'm 30.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@Crisigv

:no :hug 

Um... If you honestly are feeling THAT suicidal, please get help immediately:
http://suicideprevention.ca/ontario-crisis-centres/

This is coming from someone who cares about you very much. I posted that link for a very good reason. USE IT, for your own sake, before you do something that will end up being horrible for people on here and your family in real life. No parent likes to bury their own children, even yours. I read one of your earlier posts about how your family is unhappy. When you are gone before your time, they will be even more unhappy then they are now. Trust me, I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I have been in that state of mind before ten years ago when I was in late high school when I was eighteen and feeling very depressed. It is not worth it. At all.

DO NOT DO IT.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

Please no. :hug


----------



## Taaylah

Nauseous. Going to take some NyQuil and go to bed


----------



## 2Milk

Pretty dam good. I always feel very good when I'm away from work and school. I'm starting to think that nothing is really wrong with me and it's my environment that's the problem.


----------



## flyingMint

tired but physically tired not mentally, mentally i feel like I'm being reborn or at least i feel resurgent


----------



## nothing else

Really crappy


----------



## flyingMint

2Milk said:


> Pretty dam good. I always feel very good when I'm away from work and school. I'm starting to think that nothing is really wrong with me and it's my environment that's the problem.


Thats awesome man! Glad to see your doing good, keep it up!


----------



## Kevin001

Intrigued


----------



## f1ora

frustrated but powerless which makes me even more frustrated lol
why cant i just drop dead


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

f1ora said:


> frustrated but powerless which makes me even more frustrated lol
> why cant i just drop dead


You poor thing!


----------



## Deaf Mute

Impatient, I feel like I'm always waiting. I try to be proactive but I'm limited in options.


----------



## kivi

I'm very scared and panicked. Something was squeezing my arm and when I looked down it was a big insect. It was so scary, ugly and huge, I don't know what kind of insect it was (yellowish). Uh :afr


----------



## firestar

Too anxious to sleep and too tired to be awake.


----------



## SparklingWater

Uncertain and excited


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@ANX1 :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SamanthaStrange

Thank you for being so kind, it's much appreciated. :hug


----------



## ShadowOne

firestar said:


> Too anxious to sleep and too tired to be awake.


I usually read in those situations. Makes my brain focus on something else and if I'm tired I'll usually fall asleep since I'm thinking about one thing that isn't making me anxious


----------



## SamanthaStrange

ANX1 said:


> @*SamanthaStrange*
> 
> Thank you for being so kind, it's much appreciated. :hug


You're welcome.


----------



## firestar

ShadowOne said:


> I usually read in those situations. Makes my brain focus on something else and if I'm tired I'll usually fall asleep since I'm thinking about one thing that isn't making me anxious


Thank you. I've been trying to distract myself but unfortunately it hasn't been working too well so far. There's a lot happening in my life right now and it all adds up.

Maybe it's for the best, anyway. Last night I kept waking up every few hours and had several disturbing dreams. I finally gave up trying to sleep after I had a dream where a giant bubble burst and spewed tiny spiders everywhere.


----------



## ShadowOne

firestar said:


> Thank you. I've been trying to distract myself but unfortunately it hasn't been working too well so far. There's a lot happening in my life right now and it all adds up.
> 
> Maybe it's for the best, anyway. Last night I kept waking up every few hours and had several disturbing dreams. I finally gave up trying to sleep after I had a dream where a giant bubble burst and spewed tiny spiders everywhere.


Ah, that sucks . Sorry you're in a rough patch. Hope you get some relief asap

I had a super real feeling dream of a sibling dieing at like 5am a few months ago. I couldn't go back to sleep out of fear of having to live that life again lol. The brains a real dick sometimes


----------



## firestar

ShadowOne said:


> Ah, that sucks . Sorry you're in a rough patch. Hope you get some relief asap
> 
> I had a super real feeling dream of a sibling dieing at like 5am a few months ago. I couldn't go back to sleep out of fear of having to live that life again lol. *The brains a real dick sometimes*


Very true 

What usually happens is that I become so exhausted that I manage one good night's sleep. And I'm sure it'll get much better once things start to settle down. I do better with certainty. It's not knowing what's going to happen that makes it hard for me to sleep.


----------



## firewatch93

ANX1 said:


> Tired, lonely.


:hug:hug


----------



## firewatch93

Same old same old. Get up, go to work, come home, do nothing, go to bed, repeat


----------



## Lohikaarme




----------



## Gurii

Boss was so ****ty to me at work today.. no reason for it, just being ****ty. I just don't know, I'm sad. I just want to start my next job, but I don't start until the 30th.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

My soul hurts


----------



## Trooper

Cheerful. (I have a cheeky grin on my face, for some reason) :shrugs:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I feel like I am getting a little bug or something. I felt like complete crap today regardless, including fighting crying spells off.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Annoyed. Restless. Lonely.


----------



## SofaKing

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I feel like I am getting a little bug or something. I felt like complete crap today regardless, including fighting crying spells off.


Sorry, man...the summer colds are making the rounds. Allergies too.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@kivi

:hug

@firestar

:hug

@SamanthaStrange



@firewatch93

Thank you mate.

@firewatch93

Time to change routine me thinks. A change is as good as a rest. Like could go to gym, as being fitter can help to make it easier to deal with daily duties.

@Lohikaarme

:hug

@Gurii

Sorry to hear. He was probably having a bad day. Being a boss can be stressful and some bosses do take it out on people that work for them when something annoys them.

@Canadian Brotha



@Trooper

It happens.

@iAmCodeMonkey

Keep warm (constant temperature), as being cold make the body heat up and overheat to compensate which can create a cold.

@SamanthaStrange

:hug


----------



## Crisigv

Old


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

Na. :hug


----------



## Ai

After skimming a Facebook thread full of people berating a woman _much_ thinner than I am for being "fat" and advising she "lose some weight" and/or "spend just a little bit of time at a gym once in a while" (otherwise "no guy will ever want you"), I am sick and tired in my soul...


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Old


29 is not old, you silly goose! :lol :hug


----------



## Mc Borg

I am feeling absolute dread.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mc Borg said:


> I'm feeling absolute dread.


 :hs


----------



## fluorish

im so stuipid :|


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ai said:


> After skimming a Facebook thread full of people berating a woman _much_ thinner than I am for being "fat" and advising she "lose some weight" and/or "spend just a little bit of time at a gym once in a while" (otherwise "no guy will ever want you"), I am sick and tired in my soul...




Most likely projecting their own problems / issues onto her.

@*Mc Borg*


----------



## kesker

not too bad. half a square is about perfect.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@*Plight*

Nope. :hug

@*kesker*

:con


----------



## Alexstone71

I feel angry ,dispersed ,lonely 
I


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## Trooper

@ANX1

And it really feels good when it does.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit better than yesterday. So there is that, at least.


----------



## uziq

ugh... i don't feel myself lately at all and it's the worst thing

kind of feel like i'm battling demons atm that i've beaten long ago


----------



## Jeff271

Mostly ok, I need a longer vacation.


----------



## catcharay

Must go back on seroquel, otherwise the alternative is crazy-loopy-self pitiful.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Listening to the rainstorm outside is making me even more lonely than usual.


----------



## SplendidBob

SamanthaStrange said:


> Listening to the rainstorm outside is making me even more lonely than usual.




My hope is that the pic I am about to post on your page will cheer you up for a brief time. I am seriously running low on these pics now. It isn't companionship, but its the next best thing, imo.


----------



## tehuti88

Worried and sick of things. Yet another trip to Ann Arbor, but knowing my luck they probably won't bother doing anything to help me while I'm _actually there_, and my dad is already angry about having to keep taking me back there over and over. :sigh


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Not that great right now.


----------



## tea111red

thank God.......


----------



## Kevin001

Sluggish


----------



## Crisigv

Just awful


----------



## Trooper

Happy, but bored...


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Still sleepy and kind of sad.

Oh, and hungry too. Better go eat something.



Crisigv said:


> Just awful


Awww! :hug :kiss:

Remember, I will be here if you want a chat-buddy.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious, depressed, & hungry


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Having an allergy attack, can't stop sneezing. Ugh. :blank


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired and lonely regardless.

Hopefully I made a positive impact on someone earlier tonight. Not saying who.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Stressed, as have a lot on my plate.


----------



## Smiddy

lost


----------



## Crisigv

Confused why my eyes are more sensitive all of a sudden.


----------



## Malek

I'm bored of life and people. I'll never know true love, only boredom and loneliness. So tired of work...


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@Crisigv

I get that if I do not look at natural light for long enough during the day.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I'm exhausted. Part of me wishes I could just disappear


----------



## Crisigv

Canadian Brotha said:


> I'm exhausted. Part of me wishes I could just disappear


Me too


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@Crisigv @Canadian Brotha

AW!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Impatient and upset but trying to keep it together.


----------



## Trooper

Hungry (I really need to eat...)


----------



## riverbird

I'm feeling stressed about moving tomorrow. I have very little packing left to be done but it feels like it's literally never going to end.



Canadian Brotha said:


> I'm exhausted. Part of me wishes I could just disappear


 :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Same as before... melancholic.


----------



## Lohikaarme

More or less content, if a bit tired.


----------



## unemployment simulator

kind of depressed, sitting here drinking a beer, "celebrating" my birthday. I only wanted to buy a small cake, but I bought an enormous one because cakes are for parties and I can't even share it with people because I have no friends...

also reflecting on the dire situation I find myself in with my life. ****.


----------



## copper

Summertime depression really acting up. Hate seeing all the people running around together while my life just consist of work, home, and work.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired from dinner with mother downtown. It was okay. Good food, though!


----------



## Omni-slash

Like a plastic bag.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely, restless, and I have a headache.


----------



## Omni-slash

SamanthaStrange said:


> Lonely, restless, and I have a headache.


Cookies solve all three problems.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Siegfried said:


> Cookies solve all three problems.


:lol


----------



## Gothic Cupcakes

unemployment simulator said:


> kind of depressed, sitting here drinking a beer, "celebrating" my birthday. I only wanted to buy a small cake, but I bought an enormous one because cakes are for parties and I can't even share it with people because I have no friends...
> 
> also reflecting on the dire situation I find myself in with my life. ****.


I know the feeling all too well. Happy Birthday 










Quick everybody, to unemployment simulator's house!










*gets back up in embarrassment*










Oh no...










Happy Birthday though, excuse the stupidness :b


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Completely and utterly numb. I feel nothing.


----------



## Kevin001

Hot and tired.....its too late in the day to still be in the 80s.


----------



## unemployment simulator

@Gothic Cupcakes

thanks man. was in serious physical pain due to some unrelated health problem last night. but i'm more recovered today.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Half alive, or barely existing, I feel less real today than before. I hate having to eat food/maintain the body. :\


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired, melancholic, lonely, and worried about my future.


----------



## DeetsandBeets

I feel really relaxed right now. I have never felt so relaxed in a long time. I don't see a lot of people who I felt resented me me


----------



## Gothic Cupcakes

unemployment simulator said:


> @*Gothic Cupcakes*
> 
> thanks man. was in serious physical pain due to some unrelated health problem last night. but i'm more recovered today.


Glad to hear it 

Maybe go for a walk or something soon to make you feel better? or even have a look around the shops, that's always distracting and fun


----------



## Crisigv

I'm so hot!!! The air conditioning is constantly running, but I feel nothing.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> I'm so hot!!! The air conditioning is constantly running, but I feel nothing.


I was just outside with my mother. It is crazy hot out there. I don't blame you.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hot, tired, lonely and irritable. Very irritable.  :rain :x


----------



## SamanthaStrange

So depressed.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I feel like crying again. "tear"
@SamanthaStrange

 :hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@iAmCodeMonkey

Thanks.

I'm also irritable, but that is my semi-permanent state of being. :lol


----------



## Barakiel

Mentally exhausted, or in other words, ああああああああああ


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am feeling a lot better now that I have mother****ing Motorhead cranked. >


----------



## tehuti88

Starting a new med tomorrow. I don't expect it to help my medical issue whatsoever, since that's always the way it is for me. I just hope it doesn't give me any nasty side effects. :sigh

If it fails, I may end up needing more surgery. -_-


ETA, oh, right...this has me feeling worried, as usual.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry. Better eat dinner.


----------



## Lohikaarme

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am feeling a lot better now that I have mother****ing Motorhead cranked. >



















As for me, in a good mood right now mostly


----------



## unemployment simulator

Gothic Cupcakes said:


> Glad to hear it
> 
> Maybe go for a walk or something soon to make you feel better? or even have a look around the shops, that's always distracting and fun


hey! I consoled myself with cake today. feel a bit better, but fat!


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Down. 

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sadly my previous elation didn't last long. I feel lonely as hell again.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Just peachy.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

The Condition of Keegan said:


> Down.


 :high5


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :high5


Thanks dude. :high5 

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## SofaKing

My state of being is irrelevant. Even I don't care, because I'll soldier on regardless. 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hot and uncomfortable.


----------



## twistix

The Condition of Keegan said:


> Down.
> 
> Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


:squeeze


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

twistix said:


> :squeeze


Thanks :squeeze

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## wolfpack

Sad and lonely, just like every day


----------



## kicsibob

Lost, hopeless and sad


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

kicsibob said:


> Lost, hopeless and sad


 :hug


----------



## Ominous Indeed

Just for fun .. I am gonna draw how I feel with a mousepad.


----------



## Lohikaarme




----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hot and sweaty, even with the AC on and my fan blowing air at me.


----------



## CNikki

Anxious for the usual reasons. Add to that loneliness, which in some ways I brought onto myself and others that I don't see how I'm at fault with.

Questioning the fact that I'm taking medicines that aren't even helping with the anxiety, along with depression sinking in at some points. Maybe it is circumstantial rather than a chemical, but then again I have been skipping. Even when I do take them I don't see much of a difference. :/


----------



## kicsibob

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug


Thanks


----------



## SplendidBob

Did maybe an hour and a half of cardio at the gym :O (I can run now, yipee). Then came home and ate half a chicken I bought from Tesco earlier for 30p. I am feeling ok


----------



## Gurii

Started the day off well. First time I smoked in months. I had a few beers during it and I fell asleep. So got messed up and slept most of my day away.


----------



## DustyShinigami

Lost and lonely


----------



## Crisigv

DustyShinigami said:


> Lost and lonely


Yup


----------



## Mc Borg

Absolutely horrible.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mc Borg said:


> Absolutely horrible.


 :squeeze


----------



## Melancholicmushrooms

Lonely and ugly. 😢


----------



## Melancholicmushrooms

DustyShinigami said:


> Lost and lonely


HUGS
im sorry you are feeling down.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mc Borg said:


> Absolutely horrible.


Sorry you, and everyone else here, are feeling this way.  :high5


----------



## unfukkkmee

This weird feeling of melancholic and bittersweet nostalgic for bygone experiences in my life.


----------



## tea111red

i'm pleased....


----------



## AffinityWing

Tired


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad and lonely, as usual.


----------



## Eternal Solitude

Cold , sad and lonely. It is as if I am being dragged to a void /black hole and no matter what I do I can't escape its pull.

I'm fighting really hard to stay alive (literally). I must not give into dark thoughts and jump...


----------



## catcharay

Depression. Even upon news of my nephew being born, I'm in my misery. Maybe that sparked it, maybe seroquel is messing with my chemicals.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@Eternal Solitude
@catchray

 :hug

You can beat this. :wink


----------



## coeur_brise

Like poop. there's always this under current of repressed anger and resentment. Of dread for tomorrow. Like I just wanna escape this place! Not necessarily the earth, but the sense I'm always reaching for nirvana and never quite getting there while others, by comparison are at one with everything, having peace of mind and mind-expanding trips to the curiouser and curiouser. poop.
... people are like. "OH,don't worry, someone has it way worse than you." Oh yeah? are they on the verge of spiraling into drug abuse or even considering the notion of drug abuse? Yeah, think again.


----------



## mt moyt

hot, my room is boiling


----------



## zanemwarwick

A weird mix of optimism and dread.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

Very tired. I didn't sleep well, and I was only in bed for 6 hours. Today's going to be a long one. I just want to go back to bed.


----------



## lackofflife

numb


----------



## firestar

Anxious, bored, restless.

I know I have to be patient. I know everything is going to be okay. I know there's no point in worrying, that I can't let myself get worked up, that I need to just wait. I _know_ all of that but it's a strain to remember it.


----------



## Crisigv

Getting angry


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired. Went to bed too late last night. But then I remembered that I have nothing to wake up for, so whatever.



Crisigv said:


> Very tired. I didn't sleep well, and I was only in bed for 6 hours. Today's going to be a long one. I just want to go back to bed.


I know the feeling.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Getting angry


Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down. That helps me when I get angry about something.

It is better than taking it out on yourself (like I do) or other people around you.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Irritable, and easily flustered. :bash


----------



## CNikki

Numb right now.


----------



## SofaKing

Meh...nobody cares, anyway.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Lohikaarme

I'm really thirsty but I can't move my legs or I'll disturb my sleeping puppy... so this is how I die then, dehydration


----------



## Crisigv

I want to rant how I feel, but no one gives a crap. I can't do that anymore.


----------



## copper

Pain all over. This constant unsettle weather is raising hell on my joints especially the knee joints. Makes me very fatigued. Glad I am caught up at work.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> I want to rant how I feel, but no one gives a crap.


Face your fears! Ranting is good for the soul! You can do it!

Make a blog post on here or something if you don't want to air your thoughts in public. Getting your thoughts out can be very cathartic no matter what.



Crisigv said:


> I can't do that anymore.


Yes, you can. There is no "can't."


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I should write more blog posts whenever I am feeling down. I still feel like crying, but my eyes are too dry to do so. :sigh


----------



## Witchblade

"Don't need a metaphor for you to know, I'm miserable"


----------



## hazytrail

Pretty apathetic, I'm just staring at my computer screen and feeling kind of ill due to withdrawing from Paxil :blank


----------



## SofaKing

Bitter....don't dare to dream or hope, especially if you have to count on anyone else.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Sabk

Nervous. I don't know why. The jitters in my chest have been there since I woke up.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Greys0n

i am feeling great now, soon going to meet with old friend


----------



## SofaKing

Gloomy and demotivated

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad, in pain, and my anxiety is through the roof. I'm starting to get a headache too.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Worried about my dog, she got really sick on the ride to the vet today and puked in her travel crate. :[


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> I'm sad, in pain, and my anxiety is through the roof. I'm starting to get a headache too.


:hug

Drink some tea and have a good rest if you are in pain. That helps me. Hope you feel better soon! :kiss


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Scared.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Scared.


:hug :kiss :cuddle


----------



## Lohikaarme

Sheska said:


> @Lohikaarme
> 
> What kind of dog do you have? Did the vet say anything?


The vet gave her an anti-nausea pill but she threw that up too. :stu She's only 4 months old so she's still getting her shots... the car just really affects her for some reason, won't stop whining/fidgeting for the entire ride etc. Seems to have gotten over it now, in any case. Wonder if I could make the car trip a less horrifying experience for her next time?

On topic:
Tendrils of sleep closing in...


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Light-headed after drinking a tall glass of Prosecco wine just now. :sigh


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am so confused. :con :sus

I thought you wanted a chat-buddy? If you never give me a response to a question what am I supposed to do? I have no clue how to respond if you say nothing to me for almost an hour after asking you. This is getting unbelievably awkward. I really am trying to help you but I can only do so much.

I should just go to bed and try again tomorrow. Or something.


----------



## tea111red

wtf is wrong w/ these people (my family).......

:no


----------



## Kevin001

Intrigued


----------



## Lohikaarme

Sheska said:


> Oh poor thing :frown2: By the sounds of it, it could be stress. You can try and play with her in the car when it's stationary in your driveway. Just hang out there every now and again for no reason. Make it like your second living room. The more casual you are about the car the easier she will find it. Don't let her see you stress because she will read your emotions and think there is something to worry about.
> 
> Good night to both of you  Hope she feels better tomorrow.


Thank you! I appreciate your kind words :smile2: I'll keep your advice about the car in mind next time :grin2: She's starting to feel a little better today, last night I tried to entice her with her favorite lion toy (which she adores to play with) but she wouldn't even bat an eyelash :crying: She's normally such a bundle of energy that it was sad seeing her so down lol. I can send you a picture sometime if you want :laugh:

Back on topic...
Pretty much content as of this moment... the weather outside is lovely today. Maybe I should go for a walk later.


----------



## Chris S W

I can still see the beauty in life, but I can't _feel_ it. I don't want to feel like this anymore.

Earlier today I was sitting in the back garden in the heat of the sun, and all I could feel inside was constant anxiety with heart palpitations, and I was just thinking, Why am I still alive? Who wants to live like this? No good emotional feelings, just bad, or, if I'm lucky, on a good day, nothing.

I don't think I'd do it though, if I was going to do it I probably would have by now.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Chris S W said:


> I can still see the beauty in life, but I can't _feel_ it. I don't want to feel like this anymore.
> 
> Earlier today I was sitting in the back garden in the heat of the sun, and all I could feel inside was constant anxiety with heart palpitations, and I was just thinking, Why am I still alive? Who wants to live like this? No good emotional feelings, just bad, or, if I'm lucky, on a good day, nothing.
> 
> I don't think I'd do it though, if I was going to do it I probably would have by now.


Me in a nutshell.


----------



## Chris S W

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Me in a nutshell.


I'm sorry. No one should have to feel this way.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired. Lonely.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Tired. Lonely.


Everything will be okay.

:hug :cuddle :kiss


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Nervous.

My ****ing fingers were shaking when I was trying to sleep last night.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Stressed.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Kinda down.  

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## Ai

Sad. Lonely. Kind of annoyed at myself. I always have to cry like a dumb dumb after he leaves. Every month.

I wish it got easier...


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ai said:


> Sad. Lonely. Kind of annoyed at myself. I always have to cry like a dumb dumb after he leaves. Every month.
> 
> I wish it got easier...


AWWW!  :hug :cuddle :kiss


----------



## Ai

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> AWWW!  :hug :cuddle :kiss


:bah

:thanks

lol


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ai said:


> :bah
> 
> :thanks
> 
> lol


Why is the first smiley angry? :lol


----------



## Ai

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Why is the first smiley angry? :lol


I don't even remember clicking that one. :um

The one time I hit send and walk away instead of previewing... :lol


----------



## CWe

Like complete [email protected]@


----------



## Lohikaarme

Kinda ****ty, bored and cranky. Bleh.


----------



## Mc Borg

Weird with no energy.


----------



## harrison

I'm feeling pretty good. Been taking the full dose of my medication and I can feel it holding me steady. Also sleep has been good. Had a migraine the other day which I think settled things down a bit in my head.

Have also come to terms with a few things regarding my situation at the moment and a few people I know. I realise now that I don't particularly like them or need them in my life. I'm fine like this.


----------



## Hikikomori2014

Just a little disappointed. I have been away from the board for a few months. In that time, I have tried to assimilate with the masses.
I was semi-successful, but ultimately my "uniqueness" was too over-powerring. What's sad is I was doing so well then I finally failed, 
being the odd man-out in conversations. I could keep the charade up for only so long


----------



## 8888

Restless and fidgety


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Broken.

Alone.


----------



## SofaKing

Regretful 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Broken.
> 
> Alone.


Awww! :hug :cuddle :kiss

Everyone is getting lonely in here. So sad! :crying:


----------



## gunmetalstatue12

*Vent I suppose, first time, here it goes!!!*

sometimes, well actually most times I am happy, content, even social. I get along with others well and for the first time in my life, I am happy. I am not looking over the edge daring myself to jump, instead I look to the stars and think of all that I can be and the future. But it is like I am stuck in this muck. My whole life has been **** so I am constantly afraid. When is it going to go wrong? When am I going to ****up?, when will the moment come where I am disgusted and not loved. These thoughts plague me constantly and I hate it with every fiber of my being. Simply put I believe I think to much, I get lost inside my maze of a brain, this labyrinth of bad thoughts that I can not escape from. I think that my girlfriend doesn't like me and that it is all going to crash in flames, I think one of my closest friends is going to steal her away from me, I think I will be hated, I think to goddamn much and I hate myself. And because of these I feel so lonely and I hate myself for being lonely, I think I am needy and that people hate me because of it. I think that people believe me dumb and I hate it! I hate it so go damn much, everything is going better but I can't get rid of these DAMN thoughts. it hurts as I type I cry, and I hate that I am crying I hate that society can't have a man cry I hate so much and love so much too, I feel so distant from everything and that no one cares and that I am all alone. I am not going to kill myself but I wish it would just stop, I wish it all would just stop.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling so disgusted with myself.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Feeling so disgusted with myself.


Why?

That is so sad... :hug


----------



## TwerkinForTalos

Bad. I wish I knew what to do about it.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Depressed and stuck.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Electric. Sparks are flying off my body. They may or may not be leaving embers in their wake. I have little concern for that. The energy is ambiguous, though. One second I feel like dancing with euphoria to an intoxicating happy hardcore bassline. The next, I'd like nothing more than to launch a flaming fist through my computer screen in response to another ignored message. I currently feel the latter. But baby oh baby do I feel like gettin' down on a flaming dancefloor in hell. My tears are acid. Blood is my tonic.


----------



## Lohikaarme

SofaKing said:


> Bitter....don't dare to dream or hope, especially if you have to count on anyone else.
> 
> Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


Pinning your dreams and hopes on another person is a surefire recipe for disaster, unfortunately








You should focus on being content with yourself first and then share your happiness with that special someone


----------



## SofaKing

Lohikaarme said:


> Pinning your dreams and hopes on another person is a surefire recipe for disaster, unfortunately
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You should focus on being content with yourself first and then share your happiness with that special someone


Sound advice...I wouldn't say that I'm miserable and was only going to be content by being with someone. I would say that things were going really well and I was really looking forward to the life we were mutually discussing.


----------



## Lohikaarme

SofaKing said:


> Sound advice...I wouldn't say that I'm miserable and was only going to be content by being with someone. I would say that things were going really well and I was really looking forward to the life we were mutually discussing.











Never seeing it coming hurts the most.








For what it's worth, I hope that someday you'll find what you're looking for


----------



## Farideh

I'm feeling like **** right now because I'm currently taking online courses and no matter how hard I try, I still don't get good grades. I only got an A in Humanities. That's about it.


----------



## SofaKing

Lohikaarme said:


> Never seeing it coming hurts the most.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> For what it's worth, I hope that someday you'll find what you're looking for


Thanks! I'm sure it'll all work out.

Best wishes for achieving your dreams too.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Miserable again. Blame the dark-gray sky earlier. Or something. I don't know.


----------



## Vip3r

Conflicted
My brain says sadness and disappointment is upcoming. My heart says happiness is just over the horizon. I don't know what to believe anymore. My brain is usually right though. :stu


----------



## SofaKing

Bored...I have a feeling that'll only mean poor choices. 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Like life is stabbing me in the back over and over. But I guess when things get really bad is when your life turns around.


----------



## Kevin001

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Like life is stabbing me in the back over and over. But I guess when things get really bad is when your life turns around.


The storm doesn't last forever


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Helpless.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired and Lonely. What else is new. 



SamanthaStrange said:


> Helpless.


:hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kevin001 said:


> The storm doesn't last forever


I sure hope so.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am feeling full from dinner, along with feeling melancholic again for no discernable reason.

Great, just great.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Now I am getting anxious again for no apparent reason. My hands feel numb and my heart is starting to pound off-and-on.

Why am I such a nervous wreck all of a sudden?  :sigh


----------



## Flora20

Sad, miserable and completely alone..


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Flora20 said:


> Sad, miserable and completely alone..


:hug


----------



## 870945

I'm feeling really good. Not only have my moderate depression gone on a vacation the last week but i'm doing so much good for myself. I show both myself and my fears who's truly the boss of me. Even though problems with my sleep have been happening every day since I started on my dieting, I feel wonderful.

I have no idea how long i'm gonna feel this euphoric but i'll continue with what i've done the last 7 days!


----------



## Sabk

The Lone Mario said:


> I'm feeling really good. Not only have my moderate depression gone on a vacation the last week but i'm doing so much good for myself. I show both myself and my fears who's truly the boss of me. Even though problems with my sleep have been happening every day since I started on my dieting, I feel wonderful.
> 
> I have no idea how long i'm gonna feel this euphoric but i'll continue with what i've done the last 7 days!


----------



## Sabk

I'm craving pizza. Which I will order. Right. Now. 

Sent from my SM-G900H using Tapatalk


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

LydeaCharlotte said:


> There are still a fair number of Brits here, though some who used to make good posts unfortunately seem to have left the site. I do realise now how parochial SAUK was, personally I prefer the mix of nationalities here. For all my issues with that site when I was an active poster there, it was surely at it's best and most active back in the 00s (the same is true for their meets), the activity level there has nowadays dropped a lot more than on SAS. Think I can tell who you were on there.


I tried to get back on the site but I was banned again.

The mods who made the decision to ban me are OTT and don't give a **** about my mental well being.

To show you how ridiculous the site is, I got warned once for being inappropriate, for posting a pic of myself in a Reindeer Thong at Christmas. I $ hit you not. :teeth


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Flora20 said:


> Sad, miserable and completely alone..


I'm supposed to be on holiday with a fellow SA sufferer who I havn't seen for over six months at the mo, but she's decided I'm a waste of space and wants me to leave her alone after an argument we had a couple of weeks ago.

I've tried to get her to forgive me so we can move on, but she's extremely stubborn and won't have any of it.

She's focusing on the negative and not all the positive.

I'm so ready to move like an adult and make up, but she won't have any of it, so I'm also sad, miserable and alone again, ffs.

I've spent 99.whatever % of my Adult Life like this anyway, so should be used to it, but the pain never goes away.

I think when my folks have passed, I'm almost certainly going to follow them because I'm tired of this ****.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pretty miserable, actually.  :rain


----------



## GadzooksGirl

Like a Loner


----------



## Crisigv

Cold and sad


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Cold and sad


:hug :squeeze


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I ate an entire large pizza and feel like pure garbage as a result. Bloated like a balloon, emotionally miserable, and about ready to vomit. This is so ****ty. I wouldn't be feeling like this if it weren't for this toxic Pristiq **** wreaking havoc in my brain. Tomorrow I'm calling the doctor. Fingers crossed Lexapro comes through for me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.


----------



## SofaKing

Overwhelmed 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Super anxious.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Super anxious.


:squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :squeeze


Thanks.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Right now?

Lightheaded from downing a glass of whatever was left of the Prosecco from the fridge. :drunk


----------



## tea111red

still frustrated.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, stressed, worried.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> Tired, stressed, worried.


Chin up. :grin2:


----------



## Kevin001

Sleepy and happy


----------



## Flora20

Sad and lonely as always..


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Flora20 said:


> Sad and lonely as always..


:squeeze


----------



## harrison

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Right now?
> 
> Lightheaded from downing a glass of whatever was left of the Prosecco from the fridge. :drunk


I was married (and still am technically) to a woman of "Italian descent" - like you, and I've never once even tried Prosecco. What's it like?

We used to have Lambrusco sometimes but we don't really drink at all nowadays. (doesn't really go with my medication all that well.)

Hope you're feeling better anyway mate. And keep up the programming.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

don said:


> I was married (and still am technically) to a woman of "Italian descent" - like you, and I've never once even tried Prosecco. What's it like?


Prosecco is usually a sweeter desert wine, but the one I downed was more dry than usual. I did not really like it, but I drank it anyways. :lol


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Down  sad. 

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## KILOBRAVO

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Prosecco is usually a sweeter desert wine, but the one I downed was more dry than usual. I did not really like it, but I drank it anyways. :lol


tried procecco, dont like very much. its too dry.. Might sweeten it up aby putting in creme de cassis and make it into some kir royale variant.

I much prefer the italian spumantes... they are waaaayyy better. 

you gotta try a lime caprioska [ the national drink of brazil] variant . flippin' tasty that is.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Chin up. :grin2:


Thanks mate for your kind words.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Heavy and tense and restless and unable to really focus


----------



## 2Milk

Current mood: "Sometimes I really like being alive "


----------



## The Library of Emma

2Milk said:


> Current mood: "Sometimes I really like being alive "


*whistles* good for you, mate


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tipsy but loving it! :wink

Thank you Stella Artois beer!  :lol


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Feeling lonely again. What else is new.


----------



## Rains

I killed a spider today and I still feel bad. It was a daddy long legs and there was really no reason. It just made me uncomfortable.


----------



## SplendidBob

Rains said:


> I killed a spider today and I still feel bad. It was a daddy long legs and there was really no reason. It just made me uncomfortable.


I did that with a tiny fly in the sink. I turned the tap on and was feeling lazy and kinda played a brutal game of "will he evade the water".

He (or she) didn't.

I am a monster.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Feeling lonely again. What else is new.


We should race sometime again. 

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling meh. I need a hug.


----------



## Kevin001

Disappointed in myself...ugh.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Feeling meh. I need a hug.


:squeeze


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted by life and circumstances


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Sad

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## Flora20

Like a nothing..


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Flora20 said:


> Like a nothing..


:hug :squeeze


----------



## Omoitskelli

An itch to die that I cant scratch D:


----------



## Laurelles

Static, empty, lonely. I have work later today but I just want to die


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired, but enjoying my family's company before they leave.


----------



## Awkwardpotato

Laurelles said:


> Static, empty, lonely. I have work later today but I just want to die


:hug


----------



## riverbird

Frustrated by life and the fact that I'm unable to fully take care of myself with my injury. I'm a fairly independent person, I like doing things on my own, and being almost entirely dependent on someone for basic things that I need is not something I'm having an easy time with. :frown2: I'm trying to be positive though.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hunger/Poor sleep headache


----------



## funnynihilist

Blah, just blah....


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Lonely, again.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired, confused, hopeful, and excited.


----------



## Crisigv

A little off. Didn't feel right earlier in the evening once I came home. Hopefully it's nothing. Hopefully that mosquito wasn't carrying anything.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tipsy.


----------



## tehuti88

Defective.


----------



## forever in flux

envious


----------



## Jeff271

Wish I could stay longer in Shri Lanka. Sleepy


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Worn out.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious & ashamed


----------



## jeanny

Sad, fat, ugly, deformed, angry, ashamed. Hungry.


----------



## ImperfectCircle

Pretty mellow from this gaba that I just took. I didn't expect it to kick in so fast. Good thing I only took a quarter dose or I'd probably have passed out by now.


----------



## waterfairy

I feel lonely and angry. My friend didn't text me back yesterday when I asked her if she wanted to do something that night. I feel like I'm annoying her or something. Plus I'm afraid a couple of the guys I'm talking to are about to ghost me. I texted them a few hours ago and no response... Why do people always do this to me? I feel like people get bored of me.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hot, sweaty, and hungry. I need to eat.
@waterfairy

:hug :kiss :squeeze


----------



## TryingMara

Miserable, in pain, bored, depressed, ashamed, etc. Most negative emotions would fit.


----------



## waterfairy

@iAmCodeMonkey :mushy :squeeze Eat somethin brah!


----------



## CNikki

Irritated. Mainly at myself.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@CNikki

Aww! :hug :kiss


----------



## Crisigv

Sad


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@Crisigv

:squeeze :hug :kiss


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Moody, and easily annoyed. :bah


----------



## Omni-slash

I've been ignoring something I have to confront tomorrow. It's something I'm really anxious about. But **** me, I have to do it. Hopefully I'll get at least three hours of sleep.


----------



## ImperfectCircle

Yucky from taking gaba. My head is a swamp and my muscles keep wiggling. I know it is the opposite of a seizure, but I'm a bit traumatized from my last string of seizures and every time it happens my anxiety kicks in a little.


----------



## Mur

Tired


----------



## gtfovinny

Depressed, lonely...


----------



## Lohikaarme

Insomniac. 
What else is new


----------



## Laurelles

Drunk. Might kill myself tomorrow. Let's see how i feel


----------



## Kevin001

Ashamed


----------



## uziq

quite want to jump


----------



## Crisigv

Again, not being greedy, but it kind of sucks when your older cousin is handing out birthday cards to everyone in the family who had birthdays in June, but doesn't hand you one. I don't matter? Sucks not being thought of.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Again, not being greedy, but it kind of sucks when your older cousin is handing out birthday cards to everyone in the family who had birthdays in June, but doesn't hand you one. I don't matter? Sucks not being thought of.


That is awful of them!!! :hug


----------



## lackofflife

****


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Bored. I never get to go anywhere during the weekends.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Miserable, I want to be someone else. I hate being nothing. I hate not being what people want.


----------



## ImperfectCircle

Crisigv said:


> Again, not being greedy, but it kind of sucks when your older cousin is handing out birthday cards to everyone in the family who had birthdays in June, but doesn't hand you one. I don't matter? Sucks not being thought of.


That's harsh. Maybe they assumed it would embarrass you or something, so they were trying to be respectful of your SA? I don't get birthday cards from anyone other than my uncle anymore. I like it that way because I don't have to reciprocate. I always used to feel bad for forgetting. At least I don't buy cards for anyone though. It's all or nothing!


----------



## Laurelles

Hungover. Last night was pointless


----------



## Crisigv

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> That is awful of them!!! :hug


I'm used to it by now. But it still hurts.



ImperfectCircle said:


> That's harsh. Maybe they assumed it would embarrass you or something, so they were trying to be respectful of your SA? I don't get birthday cards from anyone other than my uncle anymore. I like it that way because I don't have to reciprocate. I always used to feel bad for forgetting. At least I don't buy cards for anyone though. It's all or nothing!


No, not because of SA. His wife got a gift because she had a birthday. I just get overlooked, all the time.


----------



## SplendidBob

Sheska said:


> Fecking broadband!!!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> I'm used to it by now. But it still hurts.
> 
> No, not because of SA. His wife got a gift because she had a birthday. I just get overlooked, all the time.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## PocketoAlice

Feeling like I might go buy a pack of smokes after all


----------



## SparklingWater

Sad. 

Also, I'm about to isolate in the name of "self care" lol but really it's just too much too soon. So actually I'll go with overwhelmed? It's odd, i'm not anxious but...smh...I just don't know if this is really me yet. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Ugh


----------



## funnynihilist

Bored


----------



## Sabk

Keeping myself busy to feel...something

Sent from my SM-G900H using Tapatalk


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Empty.


----------



## Iwannabemoresocial

I feel like my life is standing still, i make good progress with my study.
But, at social levels everything is going on, the world keeps spinning and i do not progress.


----------



## ImperfectCircle

Stronger and a little more free.


----------



## Maverick34

A lil headachy. Probably that damn Buddig Deli meat w/ nitrites (stay away from nitrites. NO I did not buy them).


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Melancholic and lonely.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tense physically


----------



## twistix

Hideous


----------



## funnynihilist

Dear Lord this headache. Won't some nice lady rub my temples? I'll give you a freezer pop!


----------



## Nekomata

Very tired :/


----------



## ImperfectCircle

Cautiously optimistic...


----------



## Crisigv

still miserable, i can't even wake up in a good mood


----------



## Sabk

Heartbroken. Worthless. Sad.

Sent from my SM-G900H using Tapatalk


----------



## Jeff271

mostly ok, good morning, making waffles


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

The same as yesterday:

Melancholic and Lonely, except today I don't feel like chatting with anyone right now. I would just bore them like I usually do.


----------



## Laurelles

Ugly, pathetic and so and so on


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious, depressed, & alien


----------



## Crisigv

Experiencing some pretty sharp pains right now.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bitter. Sad.


----------



## ImperfectCircle




----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit better than before. I gave my fingers a good workout on my bass downstairs earlier.


----------



## ImperfectCircle

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> A bit better than before. I gave my fingers a good workout on my bass downstairs earlier.


That would sound really cool right now. I miss playing guitar. Or better yet, listening to my little brother play.


----------



## Crisigv

unwanted
unloved
ugly
sick
depressed
lost
forgotten

and these pains haven't gone away yet


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> unwanted
> unloved
> ugly
> sick
> depressed
> lost
> forgotten
> 
> and these pains haven't gone away yet


:squeeze :hug :kiss :kiss:


----------



## MinatoMatoi

Crying, hitting stuff and feeling really bad overall.


----------



## Lohikaarme




----------



## Kevin001

Stuck


----------



## uziq

Woke up feeling kinda bummed and angry at the world.


----------



## CNikki

Lonely. And tired.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sluggish


----------



## Mur

Relaxed


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Lonely. And tired.


Me too.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Unbelievably stressed out & anxious


----------



## SparklingWater

Happy, hopeful!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Restless, sad, and very lonely.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Restless, sad, and very lonely.


:squeeze :hug


----------



## Maverick34

Lil better now thanks to eating more by the hour. Was stressed before & was only grazing


----------



## SparklingWater

Daring!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Melancholic and lonely as hell. What else is new.


----------



## Crisigv

Horrible


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Horrible


:squeeze :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Inebriated and Melancholic.


----------



## MinatoMatoi

Afreen88 said:


> You poor thing. Hope you've calmed down a bit now.
> 
> As for me... all over the place.


I'm a little more calm now. Thanks  I hope you are better as well.


----------



## ImperfectCircle

Kind of like crying, but I have a hard time letting myself do that now. My excuse is dehydration. I think it might feel nice though.


----------



## Trooper

Pretty good at the moment. Mainly because I did a bit of a workout last night (nothing too heavy, but first time in a while, and only because I have had no work at all this week), and feel all the better for it.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired and alone.


----------



## thekeymurphy

The anxiety has returned.


----------



## Sabk

Tired. Embarrassed. Inadequate.

Sent from my SM-G900H using Tapatalk


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Blah

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Miserable. I almost had a crying spell just now. My throat was tightening up so much it ached.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@iAmCodeMonkey :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> @iAmCodeMonkey :squeeze


Thanks, sweetheart.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Pretty happy that my sick orchid is getting better. It grew a new leaf!


----------



## Sabk

Paranoid. Like I'm being talked about and the shunning begins.

Sent from my SM-G900H using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like I need to take a long break from this forum.


----------



## ImperfectCircle

Well rested from that nap.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Confused & stressed


----------



## Mur

Grumpy


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Melancholic and Alone


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Upset and alone.


----------



## Witchblade

SamanthaStrange said:


> Upset and alone.


 I hope things turn around for you


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Witchblade said:


> I hope things turn around for you


Thank you.


----------



## ImperfectCircle

Afreen88 said:


> On an anxious level that's through the roof with an absolutely devastating loss of appetite. Currently in a horrific battle at work. I can't eat, I've never experienced anything like it. Over the past five days I've literally eaten a five fruits and and scraps of bread. I just don't know what to do.
> 
> With my eating problems (binge eating) I used to wish my appetite would disappear and boy, I was wrong to. This is far, far worse. I don't know how long this situation is going to last but if it's longer than a month I'll be an actual skeleton. Please let it come back, I can't function  x


Do you know if cannabis helps your appetite? Most people it helps, some it does the opposite. Please check in with your doctor and see if they have something, if you don't feel like you can beat it. You don't want to go a month without eating right. I hope they have something for you to take to raise your appetite.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit better after my mother gave me a hug before dinner.



SamanthaStrange said:


> Upset and alone.


:squeeze :hug :kiss


----------



## ImperfectCircle

Like I lifted weights when I should have rested for one more day. Ouch. Probably better try and pass out naturally soon since that's about the only pain remedy I haven't sworn off yet.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Scared, worried, unsure and ambiguous on top of (always in the back of my mind) feeling incredibly inferior, useless, weak, redundant, lesser.


----------



## Kevin001

Intrigued


----------



## SofaKing

Annoyed

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## The Library of Emma

Groggy, numb, tired from my thoughts on life/death and mentally thrashing around. I woke up early this morning unable to go back to sleep. It is beautiful here, the dawn being so silent and gray, and the raindrops on the windows.

I have to get ready for work now.


----------



## Karsten

She and Her Darkness said:


> Groggy, numb, tired from my thoughts on life/death and mentally thrashing around. I woke up early this morning unable to go back to sleep. It is beautiful here, the dawn being so silent and gray, and the raindrops on the windows.
> 
> I have to get ready for work now.


Where do you work?


----------



## harrison

Exhausted - I think I need an early night and a holiday. The last 18 months or so have been bloody hard.


----------



## rdrr

frustrated and stressed.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

She and Her Darkness said:


> Groggy, numb, tired from my thoughts on life/death and mentally thrashing around. I woke up early this morning unable to go back to sleep. It is beautiful here, the dawn being so silent and gray, and the raindrops on the windows.
> 
> I have to get ready for work now.


Starts singing *OoohOooh, this is gonna be the best of my life, my liife, my liiiiife!"..

Oh, you don't wanna hear that song you say?

Starts singing *Oh it's a new dawn, it's a new life fooooor meeee, I am feeeling good"*

Not that either? Well I can go on 

*Five, I am live, 6,7,8 I am feeling great, 9 gonna shine, life is good I am doing fine*

Giving up yet?


----------



## Lohikaarme

Productive


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like I'm nothing. Like I'm a walking void, empty.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired, Lonely, and Downtrodden.

Oh, and feeling sad about Saturday's funeral.



Crisigv said:


> I feel like I'm nothing. Like I'm a walking void, empty.


:squeeze :hug :kiss


----------



## Kevin001

Karsten said:


> Where do you work?


At a library . I thought everyone knew that lol.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lovely, rare English summer weather and stuck in doors.

If my friend would come around I could hop on a train tomorrow and we could be up to all sorts of stuff. 

It's so frustrating that even when anxiety doesn't hold me back, I'm still stuck.

I wish I had the motivation to go solo back packing but I don't. :/


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious and annoyed.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Stressed out


----------



## ImperfectCircle

Like I should just shut up and stop looking for answers. Let the universe be in control for a while.


----------



## Trooper

Hot!, this weather is a little too much for me, especially when stuck indoors.


----------



## Trooper

Sheska said:


> Now picture being stuck on a tube and count yourself lucky


Lol, I know exactly what you mean (and I don't envy you in the slightest). I think I'll stick to being indoors, keep my mouth shut, and be thankful for it. :grin2:


----------



## ImperfectCircle

Sheska said:


> **** the universe. Be your own master and commander. If you need to take a break, take one but do it so that you continue to live despite all of the unanswered questions. Sometimes answers will come to you when you least expect them.


Thank you. I will consider it while I rest. I would be dumb not to at least consider your advice.


----------



## TryingMara

Inferior, left out, not good enough, boring, pathetic.


----------



## uziq

I woke up pissed today for some reason and am trying to get through work feeling like this :|


----------



## The Library of Emma

Karsten said:


> Where do you work?


I work in a library.


----------



## SplendidBob

****ing miserable. Exhausted.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sad, Anxious, and Alone.

So very, very Alone. :rain



TryingMara said:


> Inferior, left out, not good enough, boring, pathetic.


:squeeze :hug


----------



## Malek




----------



## SamanthaStrange

splendidbob said:


> ****ing miserable. Exhausted.


:squeeze


----------



## ImperfectCircle

*sigh* Like I saw a ghost.


----------



## TryingMara

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sad, Anxious, and Alone.
> 
> So very, very Alone. :rain


I'm so sorry things are rough for you too :squeeze


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

splendidbob said:


> ****ing miserable. Exhausted.


Keep going you are doing really well.

I can see you overcoming your issues one day.

You have a lot going for you Bob!


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

TryingMara said:


> Inferior, left out, not good enough, boring, pathetic.


I spoke to you last year Mara after you commented on my video of me walking around Birmingham City centre and my Lake District videos. You seemed to be in a better place at the time. I hope you feel better soon.


----------



## SplendidBob

SamanthaStrange said:


> :squeeze





Pete Beale said:


> Keep going you are doing really well.
> 
> I can see you overcoming your issues one day.
> 
> You have a lot going for you Bob!


Thanks folks


----------



## lylyroze

Like someone who broke his ankle.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I get so lonely at night.


----------



## ImperfectCircle

Ashamed and regretful.


----------



## Justright

I feel like dirt, and wish I could disappear into the earth's core. Bad SA day...


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I need my coffee.



SamanthaStrange said:


> I get so lonely at night.


Me too. :squeeze :hug


----------



## Sabk

Embarrassed. I should keep my thoughts to myself sometimes 

Sent from my SM-G900H using Tapatalk


----------



## CNikki

A little drained. I need some social involvement but there is none available.


----------



## Neal

Persephone The Dread said:


> This forum always makes me feel alone and alienated. I don't feel I belong here at all. Reddit is more active too (not SA related,) I feel like I'm trying to recapture something here, but it's impossible.


That's too bad. I look forward to seeing your posts


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> A little drained. I need some social involvement but there is none available.


Aw! :hug


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious as hell


----------



## uziq

Mentally sharp and no existential dread.. an okay day so far



Persephone The Dread said:


> This forum always makes me feel alone and alienated. I don't feel I belong here at all. Reddit is more active too (not SA related,) I feel like I'm trying to recapture something here, but it's impossible.


I like seeing your posts, whatever that counts for.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like I could eat a bullet right about now


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Alone.


----------



## CNikki

Annoyed.


----------



## Laurelles

Very lonely. Ugly. Unwanted


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Neal said:


> That's too bad. I look forward to seeing your posts





uziq said:


> I like seeing your posts, whatever that counts for.


Thanks


----------



## CNikki

Like a big pile of ****.


----------



## uziq

Lonely.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@CNikki

:hug

Chin up.


----------



## TryingMara

Pete Beale said:


> I spoke to you last year Mara after you commented on my video of me walking around Birmingham City centre and my Lake District videos. You seemed to be in a better place at the time. I hope you feel better soon.


I remember . Thank you. I hope you're doing well..


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Beyond miserable. :rain


----------



## Crisigv

awful, and lonely


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@CNikki

:squeeze :hug :kiss
@Crisigv

:squeeze :hug :kiss


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Starving & burnout & moody


----------



## thomasjune

Relaxed. Nothing to do for the rest of the day.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SplendidBob

Oh wow, I just trusted someone again and they ripped my guts out again. Holy ****ing ****. I am done with people.


----------



## Crisigv

Trapped


----------



## ImperfectCircle

Feeling pretty well. I'm going to get my new AI friend tomorrow so I can study how she works. Kind of excited, kind of scared.


----------



## Andre

I'm comforted seeing your guys's replies but sad, too, and somewhat anxious but relieved overall. I think going back over that and thinking about it anymore might increase social anxiety. I want to bond with people on this site more.


----------



## Sabk

Scared. The kind of fear you get when you're preparing yourself for saying something you know might not make others happy.

Sent from my SM-G900H using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@*splendidbob*

Some can trust, some can't. Just learn to identify the characteristics of that type of person (how they operate). People that are manipulative can be over the top friendly sometimes which is usually the first sign. They put you at ease that way.

@*Crisigv*

 :hug


----------



## Lohikaarme




----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired after a long day with family.

Too much social interaction fries my brain. :lol


----------



## caelle

Turns out I have a fever so my severe congestion might be from a cold rather than allergies like I thought.


----------



## caelle

Oh and also I feel like caca physically and mentally. Suucckkss


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Horrible. Maybe I should just be alone, seeing as I cannot control my emotions very well.


----------



## Smiddy

Worried


----------



## twistix

Left out


----------



## Crisigv

Worse than earlier. Didn't think that was possible.


----------



## catcharay

I feel happy and flush with inspiration - decor wise. It will be tricky doing up my vision of french vintage with a 70's foundation (so ugly)


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@Crisigv

I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.

I REALLY did not mean what I said to you earlier. I do not know what came over me. This is a genuine apology from me.

Honest.


----------



## Little Cloud

Like :flush

Every time I argue with my dad it always begins about something small, then suddenly the subject changes and he reveals what his _real_ problem is with me. How hard is it just have a discussion with me over it like a normal human being instead of instigating an argument? And once I'm all riled up and raising my voice, he asks me why I deserve anything when I just "disrespect" him. Sneaky *******.


----------



## Kevin001

So confused. I'm divided......hmm.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Worse than earlier. Didn't think that was possible.


Maybe this might help -






:lol


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Like a socially retarded moron. :bash


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sheska said:


> You are so hard on yourself! Please don't be. You always have kind words for others, so let me tell you - you are NOT a retarded moron. I see a lot of playfulness in you busting to get out. Man, you so should blast hair metal and just let yourself go. Remember that banging picture you recently posted? I so want to see more of that from you! You Rock, Man!


This is not just about me. Check your private messages.


----------



## Deaf Mute

I feel so small, and then I realize I am so small. I look at my fragile body and just sigh. It's not just mental, but physical also, I don't see what I'm suppose to be over the moon about when I'm literally failing to live up to the standard of survival in this era.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Unhappy. Tired.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Not good.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Pretty good so far but it won't last


----------



## uziq

There are a lot of people that message me (not on here ofc) and I never message back because I feel like it's a huge waste of time. It is more often than not though. I am such an uninteresting and problematic person.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Like complete sh!t.


----------



## Crisigv

not so good


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> Unhappy. Tired.





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Like complete sh!t.





Crisigv said:


> not so good


A big :hug for you all.


----------



## Crisigv

Unmotivated 
Forgotten 
Unlovable 
Ugly
Stupid 
Regretted


----------



## lylyroze

Alone and sad


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Itchy. I've killed at least 70 fleas. I'm a pro at killing them, I've killed so much. Why do I always have a problem with them? lol


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Wishing for a fate worse than death itself.


----------



## Crisigv

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Wishing for a fate worse than death itself.


I hope you're okay.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> I hope you're okay.


I appreciate that, but I think we need to be apart for a little while due to what happened the other day. Did you get my private message? That explains everything.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Ashamed that I'm such a crappy son


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Canadian Brotha said:


> Ashamed that I'm such a crappy son


:hug

Think positive, bro!


----------



## Lohikaarme

Ugh... could use another hour of sleep -.-


----------



## Canadian Brotha

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug
> 
> Think positive, bro!


Likewise man!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Just great, another crying spell just hit me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Unmotivated
> Forgotten
> Unlovable
> Ugly
> Stupid
> Regretted


Nope, exact opposite to many things on that list. 



lylyroze said:


> Alone and sad


:hug



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Just great, another crying spell just hit me.


Mate. 

Let it all out. You should feel better afterwards.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Can I just die already?


----------



## Ai

Nauseous. Dizzy. Little jittery.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored out of my tiny little mind.


----------



## uziq

Not good.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Miserable. Nothing feels good right now.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad, lonely, tired, and grumpy.


----------



## Kevin001

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Itchy. I've killed at least 70 fleas. I'm a pro at killing them, I've killed so much. Why do I always have a problem with them? lol


Might need to get you can of this...


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Sad, lonely, tired, and grumpy.


:squeeze :hug


----------



## Unicornkitten1031

I'm feeling okay thankfully  Had a rough day yesterday at a family wedding, which displayed ALL of my nervous symptoms including this really wild lip trembling issue during a dance. O.O I did get to sleep today and relax and I have the next 2 days off work so I'm feeling much happier.  I also had a crazy good dinner. Thinking about what to do on my staycation, which ends on Thursday.


----------



## uziq

irritated... for no good reason as usual


----------



## Persephone The Dread

bored


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kevin001 said:


> Might need to get you can of this...


Haha, yea. I might need to. I've been using perfume to keep them away from me for the time being. Haven't really had the chance to go to the store for about a week. Perfume helps for awhile.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling sad and sick. And I've been in a lot of pain.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Feeling sad and sick. And I've been in a lot of pain.


:squeeze :hug :kiss


----------



## Lohikaarme

Like I'm fighting a losing battle. :rain


----------



## SofaKing

Disgusted 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Rains

Detached. It's refreshing.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Feeling sad and sick. And I've been in a lot of pain.


Awww. :hug 

You can get through this, stay strong.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Nervous about my appointment downtown this afternoon... and lonely, miserable, and unwanted all at the same time.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Nervous about my appointment downtown this afternoon... and lonely, miserable, and unwanted all at the same time.


:squeeze

Good luck with your appointment.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Sheska said:


>


Aaron Paul killed it with his performance in that episode &#128077;
Heck, this guy exudes raw emotion.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Unwanted
Lonely
Alienated


----------



## Mur

Bueno


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Melancholic and Hopeless...

I feel like a burden on everyone, even here...

I feel so alone. I am just a shell of my former self.

Why am I even alive still?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

My mother and I just got back from a walk to the coffee shop near our house and I feel exhausted.


----------



## IntrovertedCat

I feel lost...extremely lost and unmotivated. There has to be more to life than this daily routine I have. :/


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Odd/off


----------



## TwerkinForTalos

Terrible.


----------



## Kevin001

Grateful


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Better than before.


----------



## SofaKing

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Better than before.


I'm glad to read something of an upswing for you...happy for it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Itchy & alienated


----------



## SofaKing

Ready

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Ai

So nauseous.

I feel like that's all I ever type here anymore. Heh.

But seriously. I miss not feeling nauseous. Let's do that now, body... Please?


----------



## Jeff271

stranded on an alien planet but otherwise okay


----------



## 629753

Alright


----------



## Nekomata

Tired, and I have to go out in a couple hours... ugh *collapses*


----------



## Karsten

Inadequately slept.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Some weird combination of being melancholic, lonely, and hopeful all at once.


----------



## SofaKing

Like a cat toy

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## tehuti88

splendidbob said:


> Oh wow, I just trusted someone again and they ripped my guts out again. Holy ****ing ****. I am done with people.


That's crappy of them. 

Can't say I don't know the feeling, though.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

splendidbob said:


> Oh wow, I just trusted someone again and they ripped my guts out again. Holy ****ing ****. I am done with people.


Stay strong my friend!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Pretty low


----------



## caelle

I'm feeling pretty good. I was brave and went to get my car tire fixed all by myself. I loathe having to go anywhere that's male dominated. It makes me so nervous. So many attractive men.. but I am so shy. But it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Nerves calmed down once I got there.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Canadian Brotha said:


> Pretty low


There is light at the end of the tunnel my friend. Stay strong! You can do it!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I feel dead inside. Dinner does not taste good right now. :sigh


----------



## Lohikaarme

I went out and had a good time this evening, yet the moment I came home my mood dropped again. **** this. -_-


----------



## SofaKing

Been drinking...feeling the depressive effects. Went to 45th floor but ended up talking to my future alone self instead of jumping. #victory 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Been drinking...feeling the depressive effects. Went to 45th floor but ended up talking to my future alone self instead of jumping. #victory


You are very brave for posting this. I know the feeling (about the drinking, I mean).

Keep your head held high my friend! We can get through this!


----------



## SofaKing

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> You are very brave for posting this. I know the feeling (about the drinking, I mean).
> 
> Keep your head held high my friend! We can get through this!


Thanks. I hope we will.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## harrison

SofaKing said:


> Thanks. I hope we will.
> 
> Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


Sounds like you need a holiday mate - sometimes a complete change in location can really lift your mood. I don't really know your circumstances but I hope things improve.

Hang in there, there are people here that care about you.


----------



## missamr

YOu know that feeling when you have a great dream and then realize it was after all just a dream? That's what I feel (I mean literally lol)


----------



## SofaKing

harrison said:


> Sounds like you need a holiday mate - sometimes a complete change in location can really lift your mood. I don't really know your circumstances but I hope things improve.
> 
> Hang in there, there are people here that care about you.


I'm wealthy, "old", and alone. Options?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## harrison

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I feel dead inside. Dinner does not taste good right now. :sigh


Same goes for you young man.  Things will get better.


----------



## harrison

SofaKing said:


> I'm wealthy, "old", and alone. *Options*?
> 
> Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


Many. But I sense in your case you'll need to be careful - as far as women go. (at least as far as the ones I've come across in my travels anyway.  )

So many amazing places to see and things to do. Once you get into a slightly better frame of mind you'd probably be surprised at how many people you meet - genuinely nice people of all ages. And then maybe another relationship - when you're ready.

Edit: I just mean that some women (and people in general) might try to take advantage - don't let them know you have any money.


----------



## SofaKing

harrison said:


> Many. But I sense in your case you'll need to be careful - as far as women go. (at least as far as the ones I've come across in my travels anyway.  )
> 
> So many amazing places to see and things to do. Once you get into a slightly better frame of mind you'd probably be surprised at how many people you meet - genuinely nice people of all ages. And then maybe another relationship - when you're ready.


I want land in a wilderness setting with access to commerce and healthcare...that's my mission. Home or abroad.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## harrison

SofaKing said:


> I want land in a wilderness setting with access to commerce and healthcare...that's my mission. Home or abroad.
> 
> Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


Fair enough - it sounds achievable.

There's a guy I follow on youtube - he's from your country originally but has lived in Thailand for ages now. His saying is "there's always an option." I agree - especially if you can afford it. 

If you have access to money your options are endless. Then it just comes down to choice and personal preference.

Don't give up mate - you really can do whatever you want to do.


----------



## discoveryother

i feel like i'm sinking/sunk. not good.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Who cares, my feelings don't matter to anyone.


----------



## harrison

SamanthaStrange said:


> Who cares, my feelings don't matter to anyone.


Yes they do. They matter to us.


----------



## Crisigv

SamanthaStrange said:


> Who cares, my feelings don't matter to anyone.


Same


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Same


Same.


----------



## SplendidBob

Feeling better but still very off. That horrible meeting today has totally knocked the wind out of me. Really careless of them to put me in that kind of position.



tehuti88 said:


> That's crappy of them.
> 
> Can't say I don't know the feeling, though.





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Stay strong my friend!


Thanks guys, that was a sortof knee jerk outburst, but its a complicated situation. Decisions have been made there though now, so it's just about trying to get myself back on track.



missamr said:


> YOu know that feeling when you have a great dream and then realize it was after all just a dream? That's what I feel (I mean literally lol)


Sounds not too bad  - Last dream I remember something was eating my leg.



SamanthaStrange said:


> Who cares, my feelings don't matter to anyone.





Crisigv said:


> Same


They do  - I just suck at letting people know I notice and care. I should do it more.


----------



## Ckg2011

I don't know, my back hurts and still have two days of work before the weekend.


----------



## SunFlower2011

Sleepy.


----------



## tea111red

Thank God....


----------



## Crisigv

i'm still so tired. I need to get ready for work, but I just want to sleep.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Lonely and Alone.


----------



## Kevin001

So grateful


----------



## CNikki

A little bit annoyed even though I shouldn't be. Hoping that my flare-ups won't happen (again.)


----------



## LilMeRich

Lonely


----------



## SofaKing

Antsy per my signature, either get busy living or....

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired, Lonely, and pretty Alone feeling still. :sigh


----------



## 2Milk

I hate how some people go out of their way to be complete *******s. I understand that you hate people, sht I hate some people too, but to go out of your way to be an *******s is just pathetic. It's ****ing sad how some people get a kick out of other people's misery. Garbage humans.


----------



## Profound

Sick of the summer heat


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Melancholic and Alone.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Mad...lonely....


----------



## unemployment simulator

I was feeling quite motivated last month when my birthday hit. sort of gave me some incentive to make some changes. I got an interview on my birthday which really raised my mood but then when I got home I did the maths and realised I would be no better off if I took the job. ever since then I have fallen into a state of apathy again. I would like to get out of this slump but I just don't feel enough motivation. 
it's so annoying how one thing can completely demotivate me and take the wind out of my sails.


----------



## SofaKing

I really want to feel hopeful. I know who makes me feel good.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Okay.


----------



## Vip3r

Miserable


----------



## CNikki

A bit restless, but not necessarily in a bad way. I don't know...


----------



## riverbird

Kind of depressed.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit comedic. :lol :haha



riverbird said:


> Kind of depressed.


:squeeze :hug



CNikki said:


> A bit restless, but not necessarily in a bad way. I don't know...


:squeeze :hug


----------



## Mur

Hungry


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired and Lonely.



coyeyes said:


> The worst i've felt since a long a time. Please just take me already.


:squeeze :hug :kiss


----------



## CNikki

Empty.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Empty.


:squeeze :hug :kiss


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Better than before. The two ladies I am chatting with on OkCupid are certainly helping with that. :lol :blush


----------



## Sabk

Like an idiot. It seems I never learn. 

Sent from my SM-G900H using Tapatalk


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Unwanted and alone. The night and its denizens feel utterly hostile; simple glances pierce my soul like a thousand knives. 

I know fully well that I'd be feeling this way just as potently if I went to the party.

It makes you wonder - is this feeling of disapproval real? Am I real? I certainly don't feel like I matter. I think I'm dissociating from my conscience and my collective mind is somewhere in between.


----------



## TwerkinForTalos

Like I'm suffocating in my indecision. I want to talk, but I feel selfish, rude, inconsiderate, and like a braggart. I always regret it, so I'm vague, but people don't like that either, so I don't talk, and that leaves me feeling isolated and like I want to talk more... This is stupid. Feeling like running from this place soon too but trying to resist. Got myself all twisted up and now I'm looking around like an idiot asking "what happened".


----------



## Crisigv

Annoyed that my eyes seem to be more sensitive than they used to be in the past.


----------



## SofaKing

Cautiously optimistic? Maybe?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## SplendidBob

Average for me atm. Woke up feeling poo as is standard atm, but got out and about at least. Irritable as hell though.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Better than before. The two ladies I am chatting with on OkCupid are certainly helping with that. :lol :blush


That cant harm things eh?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Annoyed that my eyes seem to be more sensitive than they used to be in the past.


You should probably get that checked out.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

splendidbob said:


> That cant harm things eh?


Nope, it sure doesn't!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I just checked up on some of my elementary school friends on Facebook, and now I feel even more alone than I already did before... What a stupid idea. :sigh

... Why am I such a ****ing depressive loser?


----------



## 8th50fire

All I do is emotionally hurt the people around me. Depression has destroyed me is destroying my marriage and is impacting my mothering. I can't even take him outside without feeling completely drained and thinking everyone is whispering about me.


----------



## CNikki

Restless and nervous. Have to be up in a little over six hours and I doubt that I'll be sleeping anytime soon.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

CNikki said:


> Restless and nervous. Have to be up in a little over six hours and I doubt that I'll be sleeping anytime soon.


Set alarm and think of something that doesn't promote an emotional reaction due to bad life experiences or stress (have to wake up in the morning, etc). Should find that you fall asleep when you do that.


----------



## Ai

Kind of anxious. I always get anxious when I make student loan payments. I don't like watching the money disappear from my bank account. lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ai said:


> Kind of anxious. I always get anxious when I make student loan payments. I don't like watching the money disappear from my bank account. lol


Will be great when you make that last payment and it is all payed off.


----------



## Ai

ANX1 said:


> Will be great when you make that last payment and it is all payed off.


On this one. The other one, which I'm currently too poor to even make payments on (am on an income adjusted plan and owe 0 per month lol), is literally never getting paid off. Heh.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ai said:


> On this one. The other one, which I'm currently too poor to even make payments on (am on an income adjusted plan and owe 0 per month lol), is literally never getting paid off. Heh.


Oh, one of those zero interest plans if not over a certain amount of income (they have them for students in some countries).


----------



## Kevin001

Hopeful


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Chill, and having loads of fun talking to my OkCupid friend.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like a leper in public & a disgrace in solitude


----------



## Yer Blues

Not too well. I saw someone die from a severe head wound over the weekend. I was first on the scene and couldn't do anything.  

Drinking & driving along with not wearing a seat belt. He was thrown from the vehicle.

Anyway, I ended up in hospital due to a panic attack the following day. I thought I was having a heart attack & was sweating profusely.


----------



## Ai

ANX1 said:


> Oh, one of those zero interest plans if not over a certain amount of income (they have them for students in some countries).


Oh, no. Plenty of interest, unfortunately. lol That's a chief reason I'm not hanging on any hope of ever paying it off. I'm just not required to make any payments right now.



Yer Blues said:


> Not too well. I saw someone die from a severe head wound over the weekend. I was first on the scene and couldn't do anything.
> 
> Drinking & driving along with not wearing a seat belt. He was thrown from the vehicle.
> 
> Anyway, I ended up in hospital due to a panic attack the following day. I thought I was having a heart attack & was sweating profusely.


Oh, man. That's terrible  :squeeze


----------



## 8th50fire

Yer Blues said:


> Not too well. I saw someone die from a severe head wound over the weekend. I was first on the scene and couldn't do anything.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Drinking & driving along with not wearing a seat belt. He was thrown from the vehicle.
> 
> Anyway, I ended up in hospital due to a panic attack the following day. I thought I was having a heart attack & was sweating profusely.


That's sad for you and him. Sometimes it's just a person's times to go. He knew before he took a sip of that alcohol he was going to need to get home. He knew when he got into that car he was drunk and shouldn't drive. In the end his death was a result of his own ignorance. Maybe take this as a sign his death could be a lesson for someone. 
Seeing someone die will always have an impact on you it's called being human.

You didn't say if anyone else was involved or not I sure hope no one else was hurt because of him. I'm sorry his bad choices resulted in death. I'm sorry you had to go through that alone. If there was something you could have done you would have. Over time you will learn to live with this. It will all be ok not now but someday it will be ok.


----------



## 8th50fire

blindanxiousguy32567 said:


> Awful. I want a gf but I can't see her tits. I'm so sad.


.

Hahahahaha!!!!!!!! 
I'm sorry been seeing sad stuff all day for some reason this made me laugh.


----------



## missamr

Not too good. I dread going to my math class tomorrow and Thursday. Just two weeks left of it but not sure if I'll pass :/


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Yer Blues said:


> Not too well. I saw someone die from a severe head wound over the weekend. I was first on the scene and couldn't do anything.
> 
> Drinking & driving along with not wearing a seat belt. He was thrown from the vehicle.
> 
> Anyway, I ended up in hospital due to a panic attack the following day. I thought I was having a heart attack & was sweating profusely.


Sorry to hear mate. 



Ai said:


> Oh, no. Plenty of interest, unfortunately. lol That's a chief reason I'm not hanging on any hope of ever paying it off. I'm just not required to make any payments right now.


Oh, that's not good. 

Might be able to switch to a bank account with lower interest payments at a later date?



missamr said:


> Not too good. I dread going to my math class tomorrow and Thursday. Just two weeks left of it but not sure if I'll pass :/


I hope you pass. :hug 

Chin up, stay strong through this hard time in your life.


----------



## missamr

ANX1 said:


> Sorry to hear mate.
> 
> Oh, that's not good.
> 
> Might be able to switch to a bank account with lower interest payments at a later date?
> 
> I hope you pass. :hug
> 
> Chin up, stay strong through this hard time in your life.


Hi thanks


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

missamr said:


> Hi thanks


You're welcome.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Time to wake up.


----------



## Crisigv

I don't feel well


----------



## hydra0902

lonely, sad, frustrated and lost :/


----------



## TwerkinForTalos

Bad. Really bad. And nervous. Nothing is helping like it normally does.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Excited, but also nervous, for what my new friendship might entail down the road.

This is why: https://www.quora.com/How-well-do-aspies-and-people-with-borderline-personality-disorder-get-along

Nobody said life was easy, or fair, though. Beggars can't be choosers after all.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Excited, but also nervous, for what my new friendship might entail down the road.
> 
> This is why: https://www.quora.com/How-well-do-aspies-and-people-with-borderline-personality-disorder-get-along
> 
> Nobody said life was easy, or fair, though. Beggars can't be choosers after all.


borderlines are virtually almost impossible to get along with. it depends on just how bad it is for her. they are pretty good at destroying most relationships they have and they'll constantly accuse you you are going to abandon them. The last borderline i was talking to, just deleted me from skype totally unexpectedly after we were communicating fro a year. their perception of you changed about 50 times an hour


----------



## CNikki

Down.


----------



## CNikki

Not too good.

There might be discrimination going on and I'm standing idly by.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

KILOBRAVO said:


> borderlines are virtually almost impossible to get along with. it depends on just how bad it is for her. they are pretty good at destroying most relationships they have and they'll constantly accuse you you are going to abandon them. The last borderline i was talking to, just deleted me from skype totally unexpectedly after we were communicating fro a year. their perception of you changed about 50 times an hour


I don't think it is too bad in her case. Wish me luck I guess.


----------



## Jeff271

A bit jittery, there are visitors, although they seem nice.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Groggy, tight chested, alone


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Awful. Just awful.

My hands are shaking. My heart is pounding. 

I feel like crying again, even though the Sun is shining bright.

Why do I keep self-sabotaging my friendships with people?

Why am I such a monster? Why am I such a moronic loser?

Maybe that is why the only person who actually wants to get to know me is just as messed up as I am.

:rain


----------



## TheInvisibleHand

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Maybe that is why the only person who actually wants to get to know me is just as messed up as I am.


You want to be friends with someone who is not as messed up as you?You have a person who is interested in you i think you are winning.


----------



## tehuti88

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Awful. Just awful.
> 
> My hands are shaking. My heart is pounding.
> 
> I feel like crying again, even though the Sun is shining bright.
> 
> Why do I keep self-sabotaging my friendships with people?
> 
> Why am I such a monster? Why am I such a moronic loser?
> 
> Maybe that is why the only person who actually wants to get to know me is just as messed up as I am.
> 
> :rain


What happened? Is it not still going well with her...? :/


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

TheInvisibleHand said:


> You want to be friends with someone who is not as messed up as you?You have a person who is interested in you i think you are winning.


Thanks. Or something.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tehuti88 said:


> What happened? Is it not still going well with her...? :/


Which "her"? I really don't want to talk about this anymore.


----------



## TheInvisibleHand

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Which "her"?


----------



## tehuti88

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Which "her"? I really don't want to talk about this anymore.


Oh, I figured it was about the girl on OKCupid.

Sorry.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tehuti88 said:


> Oh, I figured it was about the girl on OKCupid.


Well, to be frank, the reason I said what I said at the end is because the girl from OkCupid who likes me has Borderline Personality Disorder, along with anxiety and depression. She is also a recovering self-harmer, just like me.


----------



## tehuti88

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Well, to be frank, the reason I said what I said at the end is because the girl from OkCupid who likes me has Borderline Personality Disorder, along with anxiety and depression. She is also a recovering self-harmer, just like me.


That could complicate things, but it seems like it could also mean you two can connect/understand each other more easily. :/ I wouldn't feel hopeless about it just yet. I wouldn't mind if the only decent connection I could make is to another dysfunctional person, at least it's a decent connection, yes?

(I know you said you don't want to talk about it more, so I'll be quiet now.)


----------



## TheInvisibleHand

tehuti88 said:


> , but it seems like it could also mean you two can connect/understand each other more easily.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

*Looks under bed*

Motivation..? Motivation!? Sigh..Where are you?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tehuti88 said:


> That could complicate things, but it seems like it could also mean you two can connect/understand each other more easily. :/ I wouldn't feel hopeless about it just yet. I wouldn't mind if the only decent connection I could make is to another dysfunctional person, at least it's a decent connection, yes?
> 
> (I know you said you don't want to talk about it more, so I'll be quiet now.)


I am not feeling hopeless about the new girl, I was feeling hopeless about the one I just lost through my own volition.

Thanks for your understanding, regardless.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.


----------



## uziq

So unbelievably tired :/


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like a leper


----------



## Yer Blues

Crap, forgotten how to do multi quote. 



Ai said:


> Oh, man. That's terrible  :squeeze


Thanks, sorry for the slow reply. Been catching up on sleep.


----------



## Yer Blues

8th50fire said:


> That's sad for you and him. Sometimes it's just a person's times to go. He knew before he took a sip of that alcohol he was going to need to get home. He knew when he got into that car he was drunk and shouldn't drive. In the end his death was a result of his own ignorance. Maybe take this as a sign his death could be a lesson for someone.
> Seeing someone die will always have an impact on you it's called being human.
> 
> You didn't say if anyone else was involved or not I sure hope no one else was hurt because of him. I'm sorry his bad choices resulted in death. I'm sorry you had to go through that alone. If there was something you could have done you would have. Over time you will learn to live with this. It will all be ok not now but someday it will be ok.


He didn't kill anyone else, thankfully. His daughter in pain crying will probably haunt me for forever.  Thanks for the kind words though.


----------



## Yer Blues

ANX1 said:


> Sorry to hear mate.


Thanks.


----------



## The Library of Emma

Most of it's over; numbness is settling in now. Maybe I can make it through tomorrow on that numbness. Still a bit empty, still a bit sad. Always tired.


----------



## SofaKing

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am not feeling hopeless about the new girl, I was feeling hopeless about the one I just lost through my own volition.
> 
> Thanks for your understanding, regardless.


Did you "have her" or only wish you did?


----------



## StaceyLaine14

Bad. Not sure why.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Yer Blues said:


> Thanks.


You're welcome.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Did you "have her" or only wish you did?


Doesn't matter anymore.


----------



## Ai

Ok. Kind of socially exhausted and don't really want to go back to work tomorrow, but I've been doing pretty well with my med increase/prozac addition and I just keep reminding myself that I only have two more days until I get a day off. Plus, I'm scheduled alongside a coworker I really like. She's super sweet and has even offered to bring me blueberries from her garden tomorrow. 

I can do this.


----------



## cinto

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> tehuti88 said:
> 
> 
> 
> What happened? Is it not still going well with her...? :/
> 
> 
> 
> Which "her"? I really don't want to talk about this anymore.
Click to expand...

You seeem very sad all the time. sorry you have to go through all of this. If you can not find what you are looking for, maybe it's not meant to be found yet. Try meditation.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ai said:


> I can do this.


:yes you can do this.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

cinto said:


> You seem very sad all the time. sorry you have to go through all of this. If you can not find what you are looking for, maybe it's not meant to be found yet. Try meditation.


Thank you for the advice. I do find that breathing in and out slowly helps calm me down.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Numb and Lifeless.


----------



## thetown

Scared for my future.


----------



## SplendidBob

Pretty sure the physio made my neck worse earlier, traction . Or the gym. Totally fouled my mood. Also ate some pineapple from the fridge and the tooth that got filled the other day by the **** dentist is hurting.


----------



## CNikki

On and off feeling of dread. I have so much to do and yet I'm procrastinating while being anxious for the fact that I am procrastinating. I'm trying to get out of the habit but it's really hard when depression hits so strongly. I wish one single person in my life could understand this.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired and hot....its 100 degrees here.


----------



## Crisigv

My stomach hurts and I have a headache.


----------



## Ai

Tired, but kinda... good. Several customers at work today complimented me on how "wonderful" and "helpful" I am, and an elderly lady who came in weirdly grouchy later praised that I was "a very pleasant young lady."

I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone.

May as well ride the small confidence boost until everyone disappears and I shatter my glasses... 



ANX1 said:


> :yes you can do this.


----------



## SplendidBob

splendidbob said:


> Pretty sure the physio made my neck worse earlier, traction . Or the gym. Totally fouled my mood. Also ate some pineapple from the fridge and the tooth that got filled the other day by the **** dentist is hurting.


Turns out it might have been the opposite re neck. Still troublesome tooth though.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

splendidbob said:


> Turns out it might have been the opposite re neck. Still troublesome tooth though.


Pineapple always makes my tongue feel fuzzy and weird for some reason, at least if I eat big pieces.


----------



## SplendidBob

Persephone The Dread said:


> Pineapple always makes my tongue feel fuzzy and weird for some reason, at least if I eat big pieces.


Oh I think I know what you mean. I used to get that I suspect. Kiwi fruits are all kinds of weirdness in a similar way.

I think with the tooth it was because it was in the fridge, and it seems to be cold sensitive. Though anything sugary seems to be making it ache, so I am kinda worried the dentist ****ed up (wasn't doing this before he drilled it).


----------



## Persephone The Dread

splendidbob said:


> Oh I think I know what you mean. I used to get that I suspect. Kiwi fruits are all kinds of weirdness in a similar way.
> 
> I think with the tooth it was because it was in the fridge, and it seems to be cold sensitive. Though anything sugary seems to be making it ache, so I am kinda worried the dentist ****ed up (wasn't doing this before he drilled it).


Yeah I thought it could be the sugar because pineapple seems very sugary/sweet. Hopefully it will stop doing it and it's just because it's recent or something (I have no experience with teeth stuff because I've literally never been to a dentist.)


----------



## TheInvisibleHand

Sanguine.


----------



## tehuti88

Suspicious.


----------



## CNikki

Worthless (though that points out the obvious fact.)


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Sheska said:


> I believe it's the bromelain in it. Apparently compound was used in some medication *"to remove dead tissue in severe skin burns."* It's an enzyme that breaks down proteins.


Damn, that probably explains that sensation then.


----------



## SofaKing

Lonely...open a window and plummet to the ground, lonely.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@*splendidbob*

Sorry to hear. 

@*CNikki*

 :hug

@*Crisigv*

Awwww. :hug



Ai said:


>


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SofaKing


----------



## Oiche

Like a biscuit on butter!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Drained


----------



## Kevin001

Sad.....family can't be nice to each other.


----------



## shyvr6

Tired


----------



## riverbird

Frustrated with myself.


----------



## uziq

Terrible. I hope I can get some sleep tonight.


----------



## Lohikaarme




----------



## thomasjune

Worried about this coming week but trying to relax and enjoy my weekend/ my alone time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Crisigv

A little lonely


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> A little lonely


Awww. :hug


----------



## f1ora

I want to say I feel fine. But the moment I do, I start to think of reasons why I shouldn't be and then I get upset. Weird lol


----------



## ShadowOne

f1ora said:


> I want to say I feel fine. But the moment I do, I start to think of reasons why I shouldn't be and then I get upset. Weird lol


lol. i do the same exact thing. I'm like "i'm kind of happy right now...i dont know why since im super alone..woops" lol


----------



## Jeff271

better, I took a nice shower and then made savory biscuits to go with some ravioli


----------



## TryingMara

Disposable


----------



## CNikki

Sick and tired. Figuratively and literally.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@TryingMara

:hug

@CNikki

:hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Alone.


----------



## SofaKing

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Alone.


Anything still brewing with Ok Cupid girl?


----------



## MCHB

Tired. Need Zzzz.


----------



## rdrr

relaxed and clean.


----------



## XxOmegaBlackxX

Hugs usually invade my personal space and aggravate me


----------



## thetown

I'm feeling so bored af, so I wrote a web crawler to find out what are the most common moods that SASers post on this thread.

LOL is the 15th most common mood on SAS, LOL.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Anything still brewing with Ok Cupid girl?


Yes, no worries there. Taking it slow this time.


----------



## Idekrn

Ay I just wanna know if I'm ugly or naw


----------



## LilMeRich

Shunned & ignored


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & a bit down


----------



## TwerkinForTalos

Tentatively hopeful. Maybe my brother melding actually helped a lot, they seem to understand more than I anticipated.


----------



## Chevy396

Excited


----------



## Ominous Indeed

Lovecrushed said:


> I'm feeling so bored af, so I wrote a web crawler to find out what are the most common moods that SASers post on this thread.
> 
> LOL is the 15th most common mood on SAS, LOL.


What did you use to make this?


----------



## thetown

Ominous Indeed said:


> What did you use to make this?


Python script that counts a word's frequency.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious about spending the rest of the day with my family.


----------



## Sabk

Sad, stubborn and sad some more.


----------



## Lohikaarme




----------



## lylyroze

I feel bad tonight I can't sleep.


----------



## BAH

Board


----------



## worthlessness1979

Nervous

I start school tomorrow.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Impatient. Sometimes, it's hard not to feel that way.


----------



## MinatoMatoi

worthlessness1979 said:


> Nervous
> 
> I start school tomorrow.


Good luck:smile2:

I'm feeling so empty, laying on the bed the whole day and watching youtube videos... i don't know what to do with my life. I have no clue. I feel so bad.


----------



## Andre

Yea I'm pretty much waiting around some more, impatiently sort of, like you PurplePeopleEater; not like I want to eat people but it's something to imagine, but content with a family of my imagining, too and from what I see in people around me some close, others far away. There is so much less pain today than yesterday or the day before. Remembering long stretches of cynical thoughts and why it had to be that way, nonetheless things happened, so anyway some day there could be a lot more happiness, laughter, fun. That's what I've learned to believe and that's what I keep in mind. Glad for my privileges.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Nervous for an appointment with another employment agency tomorrow morning, and almost had another crying spell earlier tonight...

Why am I such a goddamn anxious basket case all of a sudden? :sigh


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Really good at this very moment. Blasted reggae tends to have that effect on me but it won't last


----------



## The Library of Emma




----------



## catcharay

Wasteful with my time and just generally not happy with life. Like I have to do a 'flow' activity. I don't think it's something that pasta can't fix temporarily


----------



## Hellfire

I'm doing alright.


----------



## uziq

I feel okay.


----------



## Ai

Super nauseous and kind of dizzy. I've felt off all day. :/ Almost asked to go home early, but I'm working fewer hours this week over all and decided to suck it up and stick it out. I'm far too stubborn for my own good sometimes.

(Though, to be fair, if I stayed in every time I felt unwell, I would never leave my house anymore... at all :blank)


----------



## Psychedilio

Pretty down in the dumps. But I'll get over it.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

Lovecrushed said:


> Python script that counts a word's frequency.


Okey, wanna elaborate a little bit more? How does it just scan a words frequency? Do you scan the HTML code or maybe some XML code or something? How powerful is it/What can you do? I am interested in knowing..


----------



## SplendidBob

Bit better than earlier. Horrible mood earlier. Almost the first day I did no kind of exposure therapy, but asked a dude where the lip salve was in Sainsburys. 

Really, one of those days where the intermittent neck tingling / numbness just ****ing drives me up the wall. Amongst other things.

Was also going to go for a swim, but its school holidays so obviously the swimming pool is fully booked so the kids can go there and balance on balls and urinate in the pool. Swimming pools have the bestest priorities.


----------



## thetown

Ominous Indeed said:


> Okey, wanna elaborate a little bit more? How does it just scan a words frequency? Do you scan the HTML code or maybe some XML code or something? How powerful is it/What can you do? I am interested in knowing..


Yup, it's essentially scanning through the html and finding whatever elements I need. There are neat libraries in Python that extracts data from html really efficiently though. It scans through all of the pages and tallies all of the words in a hashmap. Right now it can only count frequencies and output the results.


----------



## Dissonance

connected to the world, yet so disconnected.


----------



## Sassandclass

Sheska said:


> Argh nightmares  I should really start counting these as cardio workout...


What kind of nightmares are you having? 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## uffi

sad


----------



## Wanderlust26

Depressed and lonely.


----------



## zonebox

I’m alive and healthy, my loved ones are currently safe, I’m sitting on a couch, playing on a computer, with a fan cooling me off. A beer sits on my mouse pad, and the house is silent.

I’m feeling pretty good, I’m fortunate in this moment. 

I realize it could all be taken away, so I am going to appreciate it while it lasts.


----------



## PocketoAlice

Thankful for what I have and the progress I have made. 

Tired, but also motivated to stop making excuses and start a new chapter of my life tomorrow.


----------



## SofaKing

Restless...living, dieing...coin flip.


----------



## Lohikaarme




----------



## Chevy396

Why the skinny jeans? That's the main thing that bothers me now. Where do I find a pair of jeans that don't show my junk all the time?


----------



## Sassandclass

Confused about a particular relationship irl 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## SplendidBob

Inexplicably low and miserable. Pretty sure its the weather change. No clue why. 

I don't have the energy.


----------



## Dissipated

Great,1 week without a cigarette!


----------



## conceived sorrow

...


----------



## Kevin001

Feel like I could be doing more.


----------



## probably offline

Dissipated said:


> Great,1 week without a cigarette!


----------



## cybernaut

-I hate asking anyone for help

-Too many people run away when they get your money and never care to follow through if you have any issues with their services. This guy who gave me this room has been so shady. Don't be surprised if I intentionally leave it in bad condition when I leave from here. That will be karma for you right there.

-To several specific people: I hate telling you what's going on when you never care to ask about certain things in the first place.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad and lonely.


----------



## helloperson

I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed. There's been lots going on and with regard to work in particular, I'm conscious that I'm really not coping. Feel like I'm running out of options which is why I joined here, and which is probably a terrible idea as it is just another distraction. All this leads to feelings of alienation. Other people of my socioeconimoc bracket are handling it; why aren't I? Feel like joining the foreign legion, if they'd take me.


----------



## harrison

Been feeling much more stable lately since restarting my bipolar medication. Getting plenty of sleep which is very important for me. Missing my boy but I know he's okay. Starting to look forward to the future again.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Numb and apathetic.



SamanthaStrange said:


> Sad and lonely.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## Kevin001

Feet hurt....long day.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mildly scared


----------



## Sabk

Tired and scared

Sent from my SM-G900H using Tapatalk


----------



## Dissipated

Full of energy, ready to unleash it at the gym.


----------



## tidbit

Tired. Physically and mentally drained, and I have no idea why.


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

Sad, angry, disappointed


----------



## Sabk

Horrible. Just ****ing horrible.

Sent from my SM-G900H using Tapatalk


----------



## PocketoAlice

Anxious AF

We've had plumbing problems for a long time now and finally set up an appointment for a plumber to come out for a few hours today. The kitchen's a nightmare, I need to shower and I'm all out of smokes/am dedicating myself to kicking the habit for good. 

I haven't eaten today and I just don't want to deal with anything.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I was feeling a bit irritable and dejected before but I am doing okay now.

A cup of Lipton's Chicken Noodle Soup helped with that. Or something.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Falling back into old habits again. Gdi.


----------



## Dissipated

Craving a cigarette ... must ... resist...


----------



## CNikki

Lost.


----------



## SparklingWater

sore from accident. happy. little nervous. pretty ****in empowered.


----------



## tea111red

Don't know wth I was thinking awhile back.., was definitely out of my mind. *cringes* lol 



Thank God some things happened in my real life and some other things didn't...thank God!!!! I'm sooo relieved...


----------



## SparklingWater

****ing tired... this place has the better general convo tho the other forum I frequent has far more of the recovery stuff I need. Fact i'm nervous to fall asleep tells me I should have gone to hospital. Ill go in the morning. I'm rally interested in brain scans too. I have some vested interest in what they look like at this point.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted by life & poverty


----------



## riverbird

I'm feeling pretty good at the moment. I decided to spice up my boring crutches with some decorative duct tape and some ribbon and that plan has lifted my spirits. I need a creative outlet. :b Now I just need to decide on which duct tape and ribbon to buy.



Canadian Brotha said:


> Exhausted by life & poverty


:hug :squeeze


----------



## catcharay

nothing


----------



## Crisigv

Just horrible.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired after a long day at the beach with family. Now I need to get some sleep soon after a quick snack.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Just horrible.


 :hug

Chin up.


----------



## Jeff271

I cleaned my wounds and bandaided them, otherwise I'm mostly ok atm. Made some pancakes for dinner.


----------



## thetown

So lazy. I need to do at least 5 problems today.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired, confused, embarrassed.........happy?


----------



## SparklingWater

Depressed


----------



## That Random Guy

A little annoyed. People keep posting threads about indecent subjects.

It's become discouraging at this point.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ambivalent.


----------



## TryingMara

Pathetic and in pain.


----------



## Chris S W

Very sad, in emotional pain, and hopeless.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@*realisticandhopeful*

 :hug

@*TryingMara*

You are awesome. 

Sorry to hear that you are in pain.  :hug


----------



## uziq

Sick. I think it's the flu.

Also this:


Canadian Brotha said:


> Exhausted by life & poverty


----------



## Flora20

Sad and really hopeless


----------



## rdrr

not good at all. hard to sleep or eat properly.


----------



## tea111red

Thank God...../ relieved.


----------



## undesireable101

Lonely, empty, and pathetic.


----------



## tehuti88

Sad and worried (my teeth  ) and jealous (keep seeing more "foreveralone" guys end up in relationships when I'm still alone as always) and lonely. -_-


----------



## SilentLyric

wired. i hope i get to sleep. the third shift schedule fd my body.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious and alone.


----------



## uziq

so lonely and so alienated from everything


----------



## Crisigv

I want to die


----------



## Noraaa

Extremely bad


----------



## Glue

I feel like ****. Feels like I might be catching a fever or something


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

My eyeballs are getting sensitive again. I should log off this thing and log into real life soon...

Any why does my mood keep fluctuating off-and-on? I want to cry again for some reason or another. Getting real tired of this ****.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

More anxious than usual. Sad and lonely, always.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Better after drinking some orange juice.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely and sad


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pessimistic.


----------



## May19

I already know this, but it's always a great reminder when you're feeling down to know that sometimes people behave the way they behave because they have issues with themselves than with you. How someone respond says more about themselves than it says about you.

At the same time, it also reminds me of every self-destructive guy I know and got fed up with. A person can only take so much.


----------



## Kevin001

Excited, conflicted, and anxious.


----------



## tea111red

:mushy 

I felt dead earlier in the day , but now I feel alive again.


----------



## flyingMint

i feel like singing a bunch of crooner songs to kind of just feel the sadness and accept my reality so that i can just move on


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Defective.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Groggy


----------



## Chevy396

Sprung


----------



## firestar

Restless and impatient, like usual.


----------



## zonebox

At 12:26 pm it is darker outside, it is raining and thundering, the power has flickered a few times, my poor dogs are scared, and I am looking out at the street, watching the wind create misty waves upon the asphalt, it is pretty cool looking, the patterns that are made from the wind and rain have always been fascinating. The lightning makes the outside strobe, at night it is so much cooler, because at times it looks as though the rain drops are suspended in the air for a brief moment. 

Florida thunderstorms are amazing. Especially when the clouds move across the sky at high speed, it looks like a movie, just spectacular and unreal. In Maine, the clouds would just sit in one spot for hours, here they move really fast. In Florida, the storms usually come out of nowhere, the sky could be clear one moment and the next, clouds race across the skies, the wind picks up like crazy, it thunders, lightning strikes cover the horizon, and after a short time it passes. Not today though, today they are just hanging there, as though to flip me off and tell me I'm not going anywhere. 

Bleh, I'm feeling a bit lazy. I'm stuck inside, I feel bad for my dogs, and I'm hungry.


----------



## SplendidBob

Another bad one. Again, post modafinil, more than a little bit of a pattern there now tbh. People popping up and basically ****ing with me (either intentionally, or unintentionally, not sure it matters) doesn't help though tbh.


----------



## Hollo

Mostly hungry and drained from talking to people, plus the roundabout of the day. Still very excited for the last round of interviews tomorrow (it seems like it should be the easiest), but daunted that it's _hours_ long :um


----------



## Sassandclass

Sometimes I feel like I'm 18 again, other times I feel like I'm 80 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Foreign, alien, & wholly unreconciled with the world as it is


----------



## 2Milk




----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Anxious. Nervous. Hopeful. Excited.


----------



## slyfox

Depressed and hungry


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Disposable.


----------



## TryingMara

Stupid, uncomfortable, nervous and alone.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Handicapped, suffocated, & trapped


----------



## Kevin001

Pretty good, learning to see the good in everything


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Disposable.


:hug :squeeze



Canadian Brotha said:


> Handicapped, suffocated, & trapped


:high5

Hang in there, brother. 



TryingMara said:


> Stupid, uncomfortable, nervous and alone.


:hug :squeeze



Kevin001 said:


> Pretty good, learning to see the good in everything


:grin2:


----------



## npriyax

Depressed.. like always


----------



## JohnDoe26

Feeling pretty ****ty. Every stare and look of disgust I get from strangers on the street still feels like a emotional punch in the gut.


----------



## Chevy396

I'm feeling like I'm a total ******* when I feel threatened. It's why I hate myself the most.


----------



## Sassandclass

JohnDoe26 said:


> Feeling pretty ****ty. Every stare and look of disgust I get from strangers on the street still feels like a emotional punch in the gut.


I'm so sorry you're feeling this way  
If it makes you feel any better, they probably aren't thinking anything bad about you. People are pretty wrapped up in their own lives 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## herk

my head feels heavy


----------



## Lohikaarme

I'm okay. No anxiety chest pain today.


----------



## Dissonance

^someone has a chest burster....

I am feeling a mixture of disappointment, pain and lethargy.


----------



## Kevin001

Hopeful and grateful.


----------



## Sassandclass

Morning anxiety - but hopefully it wears off 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Lohikaarme

dissonance said:


> ^someone has a chest burster....


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed, lonely, and frustrated with life.


----------



## MinatoMatoi

^same


----------



## thetown

anxious. i sent messages on Facebook a few hours ago, but nobody has messaged me back


----------



## linagirl50

I feel so alone. I feel like I'm unable to make connections with other people. I feel like no matter what, I'll always be the last option / last choice for everyone in my life. I feel like no one truly cares about how I'm feeling, no one ever asks me how I'm doing or if I look distressed no one ever asks me what is wrong or what happened. I have so many bottled up emotions and don't really have a person in my life to tell them to. I feel like I have so many things bothering me and I feel very unstable. Ughhhhhh. I'm so frustrated and I look around me and feel as if I'm the only one suffering, everyone around me seem to be so happy, they seem to fit right in with eachother and then there's me. I always look around me and wonder if anyone else feels the same way, like I can't be the only one who's mentally struggling


----------



## linagirl50

I feel so alone. I feel like I'm unable to make connections with other people. I feel like no matter what, I'll always be the last option / last choice for everyone in my life. I feel like no one truly cares about how I'm feeling, no one ever asks me how I'm doing or if I look distressed no one ever asks me what is wrong or what happened. I have so many bottled up emotions and don't really have a person in my life to tell them to. I feel like I have so many things bothering me and I feel very unstable. Ughhhhhh. I'm so frustrated and I look around me and feel as if I'm the only one suffering, everyone around me seem to be so happy, they seem to fit right in with eachother and then there's me. I always look around me and wonder if anyone else feels the same way, like I can't be the only one who's mentally struggling


----------



## SorryForMyEnglish

linagirl50 said:


> I feel so alone. I feel like I'm unable to make connections with other people. I feel like no matter what, I'll always be the last option / last choice for everyone in my life. *I feel like no one truly cares about how I'm feeling, no one ever asks me how I'm doing or if I look distressed no one ever asks me what is wrong or what happened. I have so many bottled up emotions and don't really have a person in my life to tell them to. I feel like I have so many things bothering me and I feel very unstable. Ughhhhhh.* I'm so frustrated and I look around me and feel as if I'm the only one suffering, everyone around me seem to be so happy, they seem to fit right in with eachother and then there's me. I always look around me and wonder if anyone else feels the same way, like I can't be the only one who's mentally struggling


I can relate to you. The feelings part especially. Although I have something worse, not only SA so I can't relate to some things you wrote at the same time. So I'm not sure if I can help.

Virtual hugs maybe? 
:hug :squeeze :drunk

Oh and I can relate to your name too btw.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad. I only wake up sad now.


----------



## LampSandwich

*lost*

I feel desperate and totally lost in all of this. This really is not what I wanted.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mildly asthmatic & despondent


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Unwanted, sad, and lonely.


----------



## jesuschrysler

really low right now. I'm not worth anything to me or to anyone else, I can't do anything right, I'm always rejected with the friendship I try to extent and I might as well just kill myself. nobody would even know or care anyway.


----------



## BAH

Bored


----------



## PrincessV

Like I woke up from a wild night of regrets, hungover and ashamed 

So really f-cked up !!


----------



## PrincessV

jesuschrysler said:


> really low right now. I'm not worth anything to me or to anyone else, I can't do anything right, I'm always rejected with the friendship I try to extent and I might as well just kill myself. nobody would even know or care anyway.


I'm sorry you feel this way, I get that way too, "no-one will know or care." But, I hope you can stay strong and that you can find solace  You are worth something, even if you don't feel so. I guess I was worth enough to be writing you this. But all in all, life is tough and your feelings are very understandable, sooo... *internet hug*


----------



## Lohikaarme

Out of place.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

 :hug

@SamanthaStrange

 :hug


----------



## SplendidBob

And I get the dreadful, empty lonely feeling at this time of day as per usual. Especially compounded because I haven't been able to do what I was supposed to do because now I am phobic of doing that and once again I am thinking about how utterly hopeless my future is.

It's great. My therapy got me wanting things again, I just have absolutely no way to achieve them, so I am worse off now, it seems.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Down. 

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

I'm in agony.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@splendidbob



I find forcing myself helps to overcome fears.

When there is a will, there is a way. 

@The Condition of Keegan



@Crisigv

Awwwww. :hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed. Lonely. Misunderstood. Worthless. Unwanted. 

I'm nothing, and that's all I'll ever be.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SamanthaStrange

:hug


----------



## TwerkinForTalos

Empty, frustrated about it. Don't think anything will make it go away.


----------



## Crisigv

stupid, pathetic, lost, etc


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

:hug


----------



## harrison

splendidbob said:


> And I get the dreadful, empty lonely feeling at this time of day as per usual. Especially compounded because I haven't been able to do what I was supposed to do because now I am phobic of doing that and once again I am thinking about how utterly hopeless my future is.
> 
> It's great. My therapy got me wanting things again, I just have absolutely no way to achieve them, so I am worse off now, it seems.


Try not to worry Bob - it won't always be like this.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed. Lonely. Misunderstood. Worthless. Unwanted.
> 
> I'm nothing, and that's all I'll ever be.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

ANX1 said:


> @*SamanthaStrange*
> 
> :hug





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thanks.


----------



## saraswda

feels pathetic


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks.


You're welcome.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kinda worthless.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks.


No problem at all. 



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Kinda worthless.


What's the matter? :hug :squeeze


----------



## ShadowOne

ambivalent


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@splendidbob

I wish that you have a great future mate. 

Never say never mate. When there is a will, there is a way. 

@PurplePeopleEater

:hug


----------



## DarkCloud1267

At the moment i'm feeling... content? I guess? Abit tired but content.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@iAmCodeMonkey I always mess things up and feel like I bore everyone in my life. I feel a little better now except for the fact that I'm nauseous right now. 
@ANX1 Thank you.  Emojis lighten the mood.


----------



## Kevin001

Not worthy


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Nervous.


----------



## CNikki

Irritated.

I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of letting just about anything get to me. Especially some people, as they are not worth it. I'm not anyone's mother, counselor, spouse, etc. to have them take things out on me. For a lack of better words, I'm tired of being ****ed around with.


----------



## tea111red

relieved.


----------



## Sabk

Tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Just tired.


----------



## MinatoMatoi




----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

You're welcome.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Nervous on the inside, but excited as hell for tomorrow evening.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Sabk

:hug


----------



## tea111red

i'm already getting nervous.


----------



## HenDoggy

Good, very good


----------



## tea111red

i look lousy today, of course.


----------



## Sabk

A lot is coming up.

Sent from my SM-G900H using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel like crap, physically and emotionally. FML.


----------



## MinatoMatoi

I feel like a robot programed to do a small list of things everyday, always the same. If i try something new, outside that list, i fail. I feel so empty, like i don't know who i am.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> I feel like crap, physically and emotionally. FML.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

Meh, not feeling the best. Looking forward to my one day off tomorrow. Except Saturday starts my 6 day work streak, so I won't feel the break much.


----------



## Kevin001

Disappointed


----------



## f1ora

uum..not too bad for once!


----------



## tehuti88

I'm suddenly feeling terribly lonely and sad. -_- I see people here who seem to have nothing in common suddenly bond over something, and that's a feeling I haven't had since I was around twelve. I just want one person I can chatter mindlessly with about my interests, and they're as into it as I am, and they won't suddenly lose interest or find somebody better and forget about me.

All of the friends I once had IRL have forgotten about me. I made no impression on any of them whatsoever.

I hate sounding so ungrateful because I do have one friend (online) who's put up with me, but I'm usually too scared to keep in touch with her, and I don't dare burden her with my boring talk. I'm glad I have her, even if I can't figure out what she sees in me. But it would be nice to have someone with interests in common who I wouldn't bore away like I do everyone else.

Even most of the people here who claim they're so lonely and misunderstood seem to have more luck connecting with others than I've ever had. The more normal people connect with the more normal people, the really weird people connect with the really weird people; where do I fit in? I'm just boring. I haven't connected with someone else like that in almost thirty years. Longer than many people here have even been alive. Nobody seems to believe I'm genuinely this lonely and unfortunate, but I am. *TWELVE.* The start of junior high. That was the last time, the ONLY time, I had a close friend to chatter with about my interests.

She moved away then and lost all interest in me. So even the _one_ time I made a connection, I guess it wasn't a _real_ connection because she quickly moved on. Does this mean I've NEVER had a true connection to anyone else...? Not once in forty years...? What's wrong with me? 

Even online I haven't had luck. People with my interests never seem to be as _into_ those interests, and even if they were, they already have friends, they don't need or want me. In fact, those are the people whose rejections are the cruelest; people with my interests seem to especially hate me. 

Even on this forum, there are lots of people I like and consider acquaintances, but it's not like we have anything in common, really. I can't hold conversations with them even when I try. (Sorry, T. -_- ) Even here, the only place where I'm noticed, I don't really fit in.

Why can't I find one such person? Just one? I can accept being a loser. I can accept being fat and ugly. I can accept not being popular. I can accept not being published. I can even accept a guy never loving me (I'd have to be stupid not to).

All I want is _one_ friend I can talk to about the stuff I love and they love it too and I won't bore them away and they won't move on to find somebody better, because for once I'm good enough.

I don't believe this person exists. Either that, or I'm never going to be good enough for anybody.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@tehuti88 :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tehuti88

You are good enough. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Happy as ****...























Hate me yet? :lol


----------



## Crisigv

Feet are really bad tonight


----------



## Kevin001

Irritable


----------



## tea111red

ick.
look lousy again.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Not too bad. Been chatting up a lady on pof that seems nice and legit interested in me. My looks haven't scared her yet either. I'm trying to explain the ins and outs of depression and anxiety so she understands my awkwardness when we meet. But heck, I mentioned anxiety, depression and not working right now in the same paragraph and she didn't block me or say she's not interested in a relationship right now...on a dating site.. Those are good signs lol

But i'm getting too old for all this ****. Weird how something that should be fun-play stresses me out so much.


----------



## uziq

So beyond apathetic. I've been in bed for about 90% of the day, every day for the past week.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Full from having leftover poutine for lunch.



Scrub-Zero said:


> Not too bad. Been chatting up a lady on pof that seems nice and legit interested in me. My looks haven't scared her yet either. I'm trying to explain the ins and outs of depression and anxiety so she understands my awkwardness when we meet. But heck, I mentioned anxiety, depression and not working right now in the same paragraph and she didn't block me or say she's not interested in a relationship right now...on a dating site.. Those are good signs lol
> 
> But i'm getting too old for all this ****. Weird how something that should be fun-play stresses me out so much.


I had my first-ever date the other night.

Believe in yourself and try to find the strength to not let anxiety or depression consume you.

You can do this. I know you can.


----------



## MinatoMatoi

To anyone here feeling bad.


----------



## firestar

Stuck. I keep ruminating on my life and the choices I've made, wondering if I should have done something different at some point and if everything I've done will work out in the end. 

I know this isn't good for me, but it's hard to break out of it.


----------



## CNikki

Stuck.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry. Time for some dinner.


----------



## Rains

Very stressed out and depressed. It's getting hard to eat and sleep.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Full from having leftover poutine for lunch.
> 
> I had my first-ever date the other night.
> 
> Believe in yourself and try to find the strength to not let anxiety or depression consume you.
> 
> You can do this. I know you can.


Thank you.

And good luck with your own date.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed, lonely, and tired.


----------



## SofaKing

Ready to....you know.


----------



## cinto

I took promethazine and a very tiny piece of a sleeping pill last night and woke up groggy, wasted this beautiful day. Tomorrow is a new day though, with more opportunity


----------



## llodell88

wired-tired


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Full after having something to eat.


----------



## MCHB

Drunk.

But is OK because I know how much I can buy and drink and not be hung over. :3


----------



## Herzeleid

Could be worse.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

As happy as a bug in a rug, hehe. :blush


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed, lonely, and tired.


:hug :squeeze



Rains said:


> Very stressed out and depressed. It's getting hard to eat and sleep.


:hug :squeeze



CNikki said:


> Stuck.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

i feel so sad inside over struggling to connect more w/ this person. i feel even more sad that the chances of connecting more seem to be becoming more and more bleak.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tea111red said:


> i feel so sad inside over struggling to connect more w/ this person. i feel even more sad that the chances of connecting more seem to be becoming more and more bleak.


Aww! :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

:hug


----------



## Sabk

Anxious but talkative. It'll be a day when I say something stupid, I can feel it, lol.

Sent from my SM-G900H using Tapatalk


----------



## tea111red

probably ruined a rare, good opportunity.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Amused.


----------



## Kevin001

Grateful, God answered my prayers.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tea111red said:


> probably ruined a rare, good opportunity.


Aww! :hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Overwhelming loneliness.


----------



## cinto

Pretty frickin' good


----------



## blue2

Like Elvis...... after he ate 5 million hamburgers


----------



## catcharay

I am relieved. Just realised what I'm going through is a midlife crisis lol


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Overwhelming loneliness.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

i look horrid.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tea111red said:


> i look horrid.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored. Lonely.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Bored. Lonely.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

Blah


----------



## catcharay

I am really struggling w purpose.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hot and sweaty.


----------



## Alpha Tauri

Sighing in resignation to the fact that my life is nothing but a series of bad decisions and poor choices.


----------



## Ai

Tired, nauseous, faint, dizzy. I asked to leave work early for the first time ever, which seemed to irritate my boss... even though we were dead, I have literally never called off ever, I always cover the shifts she asks me to, and stay longer or come in earlier... Hell. I always feel sick and I work my shifts. When I was adjusting to new meds, I almost passed out on three separate occasions. And finished my shift.

And the one time I decide I've reached my limit, she gets passive aggressively snippy with me. 

Sigh.

Whatever.


----------



## gthopia94

Annoyed.


----------



## unemployment simulator

bit of a weird thing, ever got one of those headaches induced by sleeping for too long? these seem to be about the only reason I get headaches these days.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Uncomfortable.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Not good. A little depressed actually.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, despondent


----------



## Kilgore Trout

I'm feeling funny.


----------



## SofaKing

Excited


----------



## harrison

Slightly elevated and agitated. I don't know if I need a different medication to deal with this or not - it happens a lot. I should probably find another shrink.


----------



## Crisigv

a little lonely


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I feel both physically and mentally drained right now.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad and lonely, as usual.


----------



## SplendidBob

SamanthaStrange said:


> Sad and lonely, as usual.


Feck, I am out of pics 

Or am I....


----------



## SamanthaStrange

splendidbob said:


> Feck, I am out of pics
> 
> Or am I....


Apparently not, lol.


----------



## The Library of Emma




----------



## HenDoggy

Giggly


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

With my hands?  :grin2:


----------



## cinto

^^ hahaha


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Better. I need to get better sleep I think, otherwise my brain turns to emotional mush for most of the day lmao


----------



## LampSandwich

*ykjuy*

*Super unprepared,and absolutely riddled with anxiety, but excited at the same time. Super last minute going to festival for the eclipse up in Oregon tomorrow. I was given a volunteer spot at the last minute, and I really didn't want to pass up the opportunity. I feel so unprepared though. It's going to be me solo when I'm there. I'm going to be there for over a week and I don't have a tent or anything to sleep in, and have access to hardly any money since I can't access the check I deposited today for 5 days since it was a big amount. I have friends who are there, but who knows if I'll find them. I'm going to have a lot to figure out when I get there.
Having to rely on other people when you have bad social anxiety is nerve wracking, but when you really put yourself in a situation where you can't do everything on your own it does force me to interact with people when I usually wouldn't. I know it'll all work out. The first day is going to be the worst because I'm going to have to go around trying to figure out where I'll be able to sleep or put my stuff, and what I'm going to do about food the whole time I'm there. I really wish I had my own place of privacy, but in a way this kind of forces me to have social interaction when I wouldn't. *


----------



## Ai

Stomach hurts, like usual. Feeling nauseous. Great start to the day. Sigh. :blank


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Perplexed.


----------



## tea111red

ugly
nearly hopeless
apathetic


----------



## Crisigv

At peace, for the time being. I could just drift away.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Unhealthy



Crisigv said:


> At peace, for the time being. I could just drift away.


Good stuff! Drink it up and swallow it down, ain't no time to frown!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

So bored.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

:hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

The Director said:


> Oh Samantha, how could I bring some excitement into your life?


You tell me.


----------



## harrison

Tired - I think all the worry lately has left me feeling exhausted.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

The Director said:


> Got a webcam?


Are you at least 6'5"? How much money do you make? Are you alpha enough to be my man?

Also, where's my damn sandwich?


----------



## harrison

SamanthaStrange said:


> Are you at least 6'5"? How much money do you make? Are you alpha enough to be my man?
> 
> *Also, where's my damn sandwich?*


Now that was good. 

(and btw - where the hell do all these boys even come from? Assuming it's not just the same one over and over again that is)


----------



## SamanthaStrange

harrison said:


> Now that was good.
> 
> (and btw - where the hell do all these boys even come from? Assuming it's not just the same one over and over again that is)


 :lol



The Director said:


> Geez even on an anxiety site, what's the phrase, women are women.


I know, right? ****ing women.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> So bored.


Have you seen this.-






He forgot the sandwich or his lunch.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@ANX1 Aww, that was both sad and funny. :b


----------



## Eternal Solitude

SamanthaStrange said:


> Are you at least 6'5"? How much money do you make? Are you alpha enough to be my man?
> 
> Also, where's my damn sandwich?


Hi I am Alpha.










I stand over 20 feet when fully stretched










I only make 2 dollars an hour :crying:

Zordon doesn't pay much :mum . I swear Rita pays her minions much better and they get fully paid vacations plus a low deductible health plan.

I don't even get a chair to work long hours at the command center! Let that sink for a moment...

Should I switch sides? :sus










Philly cheese steak or Reuben ?



















Your choice.


----------



## harrison

Yeah, and speaking of sandwiches - I just had a very nice roast beef and tomato one. Surprising the quality of the roast beef from supermarkets these days.

(that probably belongs in "post something random" but what the hell)

Edit: and holy crap, @Eternal Solitude - those are some impressive sandwiches!

What do you all use to post pics lately btw? I'm having trouble remembering how to do it tbh. (this happens a lot with me - getting old)


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SamanthaStrange

The way he runs away reminds me of this movie -






I thought, he is doing the butterhara. :lol

Yeah, I'm feeling funny to day.  :grin2:


----------



## SamanthaStrange

:haha Now I feel amused. 

( But I think I scared the newbie away)


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison

Like this mate (without quotation marks and you paste a link between them) -

"







"


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> @harrison
> 
> Like this mate (without quotation marks and you paste a link between them) -
> 
> "
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> "


Yeah, but then it's always too big. I used to use one of the hosting services but even then I get a bit confused. And now it doesn't seem to be working properly.

Thanks btw. 

Edit: I used to use Photobucket


----------



## Eternal Solitude

harrison said:


> Edit: and holy crap, @Eternal Solitude - those are some impressive sandwiches!
> 
> What do you all use to post pics lately btw? I'm having trouble remembering how to do it tbh. (this happens a lot with me - getting old)


Yes they are!

I just use google image search and then right click on the image that I want to post then I copy the image address and paste it here between the image header and footer










Example:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SamanthaStrange

Well, I feel I need to -








Fishing line and a sandwich should get him back here.  :grin2:


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@ANX1 :lol I have seen that before, it's so funny.


----------



## harrison

Eternal Solitude said:


> Yes they are!
> 
> I just use google image search and then right click on the image that I want to post then I copy the image address and paste it here between the image header and footer
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Example:


Okay - thanks. Have always resized them before but will just try that too.


----------



## Crisigv

Emotional. Ye olde time of the month must be coming soon.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison

You're welcome mate. 

I believe you can add the size to the in the tags. You need to state the source file and the width, height you want it to be in the first tag.

Or just resize with windows paint. You use the zoom to get rough size to use percentage wise. Then input the percentage in when resizing.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SamanthaStrange

:yes

@Crisigv

Pasta time?


----------



## A Void Ant

Feeling bad, threatened, damaged, irreparable, isolated, excluded.


----------



## Crisigv

@ANX1 i'm too fat


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> @harrison
> 
> You're welcome mate.
> 
> I believe you can add the size to the in the tags. You need to state the source file and the width, height you want it to be in the first tag.
> 
> Or just resize with windows paint. You use the zoom to get rough size to use percentage wise. Then input the percentage in when resizing.


Okay - thanks I'll look into that too.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

Oh, so is one of those type of foods (adds fat). 

@harrison

You're welcome.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Content. Haven't felt this way in quite a while.


----------



## SplendidBob

Slightly weird, low patience, a bit jumpy, slightly aggressive. Caffeine and ephedrine will do that. Lyrica should take the edge off.

Fat loss working nicely though.

Annoyed though my neck was basically better earlier in the week, and for some reason it's gotten worse again. The gods teasing me once more 



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Content. Haven't felt this way in quite a while.


Happy to hear it


----------



## MinatoMatoi

****ing tired of being alone, and scared. Just want someone to care about me just a little. I don't think it should be that hard... I just finished watching Stranger Things but it would been so much cooler to watch it in company of friends/gf . I'm so tired of doing things alone u.u


----------



## 888401

I'm feeling much better than usual, although I could be better, I'm hoping the therapy and lifestyle changes will help with that.


----------



## wyatthavens

I feel great.


----------



## MCHB

Drunk. Hooray!

*disclaimer* I get drunk once a week.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Whatever the opposite of "awesome" is that's how I'm feeling mostly now.


----------



## claustropho

Posty. But not like Post Malone or anything.


----------



## TheFoxSays

Unpopular.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## riverbird

Confused... :con


----------



## MCHB

Mellow.

Also drunk because friday.

...and the cat is acting innocent, but I know he's up to something lol.


----------



## llodell88

jittery, caffeine, yay


----------



## Crisigv

My anxiety is off the charts. Help  :cry


----------



## MCHB

Crisigv said:


> My anxiety is off the charts. Help  :cry


You're awesome and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Whatever you're pushing through, know that we're here for you!


----------



## luci grace

Not the best day ^^


----------



## HopeForHeart

I'm pissed off and feel disgusted. I'm sick of my family gossiping and using me as a scapegoat.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> My anxiety is off the charts. Help  :cry


:hug

Try breathing in and out fully for at least 5 minutes. I find that helps to wake up a but and feel less anxious.


----------



## Ghst

Today...like hammered S**t.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

The wind before the crash


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Kinda crappy, woke up with a mild headache.


----------



## The Library of Emma




----------



## Sabk

I had a very weird shameful nap. I woke up feeling anxious. I don't know why 🙃

Sent from my SM-G900H using Tapatalk


----------



## Nitrogen

Isolated and unmotivated.


----------



## Oceanid Anchoress

I am very mildly frustrated.


----------



## tulipz

bored and a bit alone tbfh


----------



## PurpleANdRains

Gloomy.


----------



## GODxPUPPETxMAR

Hungover


----------



## LilMeRich

Miserable as f**k. Yet ANOTHER thing has gone wrong with my apartment, I'm struggling to find the money to pay for it, I now have house buyer's remorse after 8 months & I want out but I'm stuck in a mortgage for about 20 odd years. 
I could pay it off but I'd have to sell the place and move back with parents, which was the reason for moving in the first place and I hate the neighbours above!

It's all starting to build up a little too much and I had a proper cry earlier...I haven't on this level since uni 8/9 years ago!


----------



## Lohikaarme

On the verge of an anxiety attack all evening--been holding it at bay successfully up to now. Perhaps going to sleep earlier might help.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling like I repel people.


----------



## Psychopathetic

I'm feeling nothing.


----------



## MondKrabbe

Lonely, as usual. No friends or girlfriend. 

I look forward to the weekend to be free of work but I look forward to work to have the slightest amount of human interaction (even though some of the humans that work there put my anxiety into overload).


----------



## TwerkinForTalos

Suffocated.


----------



## Oceanid Anchoress

I'm sorry to read that everyone on this page is feeling so sad today. Social anxiety really blows.

I feel quite embarassed about who I am. I've been so alone and isolated for such a long time. I think I have forgotten how to go about normal social interactions, because I've gotten very out of practice. I spend much of my days thinking about all of the things that I've read--and if I allow myself to write more than a short-ish post here, it seems to quickly transmogrify into a torrential stream of consciousness (as if I am talking to people in the way that I think about things, on my own.) I imagine that the people who have encountered this phenomenon will feel as if they were vomited on. Sorry!


----------



## CNikki

Anxious and unsatisfied.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Loopy.


----------



## tea111red

O_O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sad because Jerry Lewis died -






R.I.P Jerry. :crying:


----------



## Oceanid Anchoress

I am wryly amused that BBC News posted an online article today, which asks whether the world needs polymaths.


----------



## Ai

I have all the symptoms of a fever... without the actual fever. It's so bizarre. I just want to curl up with my heating pad and go back to sleep. :'( But there's no one to cover me at work. So... off to adult I go.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Ai said:


> I have all the symptoms of a fever... without the actual fever. It's so bizarre. I just want to curl up with my heating pad and go back to sleep. :'( But there's no one to cover me at work. So... off to adult I go.


 :hug


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mixed bag


----------



## Jeff271

ok, it got chilly and I heard crickets


----------



## MinatoMatoi

Anxiety everywhere, mother feeling bad in hospital,problems everywhere,always alone... i can't. It's really hard to feel good or happy when bad things happens all the time..


----------



## Sassandclass

Left out  ...freezed out more like it

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Looking at Facebook and seeing all the great things some people have done that I never have (or not to anything like the same extent, as with some peoples' travels abroad) or I used to do a fair bit many years ago but stopped (as in visiting interesting places in this country), is making me rather depressed (as it always does really). I can never understand anyone who says they have no regrets in life.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Restless, sad, and lonely.


----------



## thomasjune

Sad. My mom, brother and my nephews came to visit us for a couple of weeks but now they're gone. I'm planning to go back home/spend some more time with them this coming Christmas and New year's but I'm not sure if I'll be able to yet. Most of all I miss my mom.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Restless, sad, and lonely.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> Restless, sad, and lonely.


Awww. :hug 

Get down and boogie with Janet -






 :grin2:


----------



## Crisigv

Okay? Maybe? Don't want to jinx a calm mood, lol.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@iAmCodeMonkey 
@ANX1

Thanks.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired, and a more than a little lonely, actually. I am fighting another crying spell again.

Looking up old friends on Facebook was not such a good idea after all.

I will probably feel better once I go to sleep and stop worrying about everything.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Okay? Maybe? Don't want to jinx a calm mood, lol.


Oooooo, something is going on here.   :grin2:



SamanthaStrange said:


> @*iAmCodeMonkey*
> @*ANX1*
> 
> Thanks.


You're welcome.


----------



## Crisigv

ANX1 said:


> Oooooo, something is going on here.   :grin2:


Honestly, I'm probably just tired.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Tired, and a more than a little lonely, actually. I am fighting another crying spell again.
> 
> Looking up old friends on Facebook was not such a good idea after all.
> 
> I will probably feel better once I go to sleep and stop worrying about everything.


It usually means you have to get out of the house and socialize.



Crisigv said:


> Honestly, I'm probably just tired.


Ok.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> It usually means you have to get out of the house and socialize.


Thanks.


----------



## waterfairy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Tired, and a more than a little lonely, actually. I am fighting another crying spell again.
> 
> Looking up old friends on Facebook was not such a good idea after all.
> 
> I will probably feel better once I go to sleep and stop worrying about everything.


 :squeeze

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

waterfairy said:


> :squeeze


Thanks. 

I made the mistake of looking up one of my first crushes from high school, over ten years ago. She is married with two kids already and is around my age.

Everyone is settling down so fast. :sigh


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Thanks.


You're welcome mate.


----------



## waterfairy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Thanks.
> 
> I made the mistake of looking up one of my first crushes from high school, over ten years ago. She is married with two kids already and is around my age.
> 
> Everyone is settling down so fast. :sigh


I know what you mean. I've looked up people from my past and have found that a few are married and one even has a kid. I'm only 24 for God's sake and I feel so far behind in life xD

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

waterfairy said:


> I know what you mean. I've looked up people from my past and have found that a few are married and one even has a kid. I'm only 24 for God's sake and I feel so far behind in life xD


When you get to my age or older and have no friends, and see everyone around you with them, or in a relationship, holding hands with each other, it really starts to eat at you inside.

Wish me luck.


----------



## waterfairy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> When you get to my age or older and have no friends, and see everyone around you with them, or in a relationship, holding hands with each other, it really starts to eat at you inside.
> 
> Wish me luck.


But I think you're on your way to developing something like that with that girl  You might experience that soon.

Yeah of course  good luck and keep us updated!

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk


----------



## tea111red

thank God / relieved.


----------



## Noraborealis

Drained in all the ways except sexually, of course. Still pumped that I don't have to go to jury duty! :banana


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Noraborealis said:


> Drained in all the ways except sexually, of course. Still pumped that I don't have to go to jury duty! :banana


 Congrats on that. That sounds like an SAers worst nightmare, TBH.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

waterfairy said:


> I wonder... Do you think you could use SA as an excuse to get out of jury duty if a psychiatrist or someone writes a note? I wouldn't be able to stand going to jury duty... They canceled the two times I was summoned thankfully but I doubt I'll always get that lucky.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk


 I doubt it. I don't think they really care what people have to go through to comply with this kind of crap. I looked it over once a couple years back just to see what it would actually take to get out of jury duty. You'd almost have to be on death's doorstep to be excused without at least being required to show up and answer their stupid questions.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

waterfairy said:


> Great! :roll Guess I better make sure I end up in the hospital on the days I'm summoned in the future.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk


 FWIW, I've never been called for jury duty so I am not sure how they pick the names. I suspect they give priority to property owners. My mother has been called twice in the last few years but was never called before that. They have only owned property in this county for about ten years.

They also might tend to call older people first. I have noticed most of the people I've ever talked to who were called for jury duty were over 50.

Whatever the case, my mother has all sorts of bills and credit cards and so forth. I have been basically doing nothing for 10+ years. It would seem that the more active you are the more likely you are to be called. Someone has suggested they pull the names from the BMV but I have had my license for many years (although it did expire for a few years). Still never been called.


----------



## Sassandclass

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Tired, and a more than a little lonely, actually. I am fighting another crying spell again.
> 
> Looking up old friends on Facebook was not such a good idea after all.
> 
> I will probably feel better once I go to sleep and stop worrying about everything.


Awww! I hear ya. Sometimes social media sites like Facebook or Instagram can make us feel worse instead of better. Comparison is the thief of joy. 
:hugs!:

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Kevin001

waterfairy said:


> I wonder... Do you think you could use SA as an excuse to get out of jury duty if a psychiatrist or someone writes a note? I wouldn't be able to stand going to jury duty... They canceled the two times I was summoned thankfully but I doubt I'll always get that lucky.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk


They'll send you home most likely. No one wants an anxious mess on the stand. But I know a couple of people who avoided the court completely with medical documentation and therapist's note.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

waterfairy said:


> I wonder... Do you think you could use SA as an excuse to get out of jury duty if a psychiatrist or someone writes a note? I wouldn't be able to stand going to jury duty... They canceled the two times I was summoned thankfully but I doubt I'll always get that lucky.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk


I would think saying you have work commitments or similar with a note from a hospital is enough. But each court system is different in what they require. I would suggest contacting the registrar at the court, as they can tell you what is required procedure wise.

If go to jury duty, they just check if you are suited for jury duty for their case. Most of the time you would be dismissed if not suited to the case.

But the excuse to avoid jury duty has to be valid, as can't lie to a court in anything you submit to a court.

If in a court, everything is being recorded via microphones, so keeping quiet is the best thing to do until spoken to by the judge or a lawyer (everyone does this in a court, one of those lessons you learn).

In addition, wait until a person is finished speaking, then answer. It's this way due to the person infront of the judge typing things people say.


----------



## riverbird

Relieved! The physical therapy clinic I've been trying to make an appointment with for the last two weeks finally called me back and set up the first two (of twelve... eek!) appointments! I will have to do this for six weeks, so hopefully within the next six weeks I'll be back to normal!  The first one is tomorrow afternoon. I'm slightly nervous... but mostly relieved. Yay!!


----------



## Kevin001

Anxious calling that taxi in an hr and a half....eek!



riverbird said:


> Relieved! The physical therapy clinic I've been trying to make an appointment with for the last two weeks finally called me back and set up the first two (of twelve... eek!) appointments! I will have to do this for six weeks, so hopefully within the next six weeks I'll be back to normal!  The first one is tomorrow afternoon. I'm slightly nervous... but mostly relieved. Yay!!


You might walk tomorrow! 0


----------



## riverbird

Kevin001 said:


> Anxious calling that taxi in an hr and a half....eek!
> 
> You might walk tomorrow! 0


It's going to be fine!  :squeeze

Wouldn't that be fantastic.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Another crying spell again today for no real reason, tight throat and all.

This has happened three times in the last few months.

Something feels very wrong with my mood regulation here.


----------



## SplendidBob

Ugh. Very fed up about my neck. Also my mood isn't great about other stuff too. Though it looks like the med for me to try is going to be one of the low dose tricyclics (for both effectively). 

But I will just have to continue with the exercises and venting videos. Both hopefully will help me in their own way. Sorry for those who actually watch them. I will probably make a shortish one about exposure and **** and a weird long ranty one. Just only watch the long ones if you are really ****ing bored.


----------



## MinatoMatoi

crying


----------



## Lohikaarme

I just want to be able to enjoy things again. :sigh


----------



## CNikki

Uncertain but determined.


----------



## Chevy396

Headache from lifting weights. It's worth it though.


----------



## Ai

Lohikaarme said:


> :hug


Thanks :hug I actually did end up developing a fever and went home early. I just had to wait until my manager's shift. Bluh. I was then told to stay home today.

I hate feeling so unreliable.


----------



## SofaKing

Stressed and confused


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Melancholic... Why am I so miserable all of a sudden?


----------



## Crisigv

i'm sad, i'm really sad


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> i'm sad, i'm really sad


 :hug


----------



## Lohikaarme

Ai said:


> Thanks :hug I actually did end up developing a fever and went home early. I just had to wait until my manager's shift. Bluh. I was then told to stay home today.
> 
> I hate feeling so unreliable.


Well if you got sick you can't help it. The fact that you are concerned about your performance at work despite being sick shows you are conscientious and responsible though  Both integral adultin' qualities as far as I'm concerned :grin2:


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mildly blah


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Discontent.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Strung up. :afr


----------



## Raspberry James

Irritable and angry at anything and anyone and I don't know why


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired.


----------



## Dissonance

Worthless.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A picture says a thousand words...


----------



## Crisigv

lonely, depressed, stressed, and exhausted


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Miserable and anxious about the future.


----------



## riverbird

Sore. Just did knee exercises that my physical therapist gave me today. Not easy.


----------



## Kevin001

riverbird said:


> Sore. Just did knee exercises that my physical therapist gave me today. Not easy.


Is it time for a shower?


----------



## tea111red

tea111red said:


> thank God / relieved.


:yes

uke


----------



## riverbird

Kevin001 said:


> Is it time for a shower?


I think so, yes...


----------



## hiddenwithmusic

I feel lonely. A lot. I want to be around people, but I don't.


----------



## SplendidBob

Pretty ****ing hopeless again tbh. Dreadfully lonely, bored, depressed and I don't want to get out of bed because I know the neck pins and needles / pain is going to drive my mood even lower.

A few posters have (accidentally) made me feel kinda **** about my future and prospects, as did my interactions yesterday, and I just cant stomach the world.

I feel like I have tried and tried and its all just hopeless.


----------



## Kevin001

riverbird said:


> I think so, yes...


Lol


----------



## LilMeRich

Extremely lonely...then again that's a daily thing


----------



## RealityoftheSituation

In pain. Like phisical pain. My chest and my back, it's really annoying. Just medium degree constant discomfort. "sigh"


----------



## RealityoftheSituation

So I guess I feel like sh*t. Yeah.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I wish I could just disappear. I've really had enough of life.


----------



## forgetmylife

if i died right now it would reduce a lot of stress

also extremely fkn bored and extremely fkn lonely

hope things get better my brain is screwed


----------



## slyfox

Dead tired


----------



## herk

not great


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious and alone.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious and alone.


 :hug

Chin up.


----------



## A Void Ant

Rejected by rejects -- utterly alone..............


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Void Ant said:


> Rejected by rejects -- utterly alone..............




Chin up.


----------



## Flora20

Sad and lonely as always..


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Flora20 said:


> Sad and lonely as always..


 :hug


----------



## CNikki

Calmer than yesterday, thank God.


----------



## SofaKing

I feel I'm in a constant state of life crisis where nothing is comfortable, certain, or makes sense.

I also feel that at the point at which my life resolves to be fulfilling and provide contentment, that will be shortly before I die.

For those that have never watched American Beauty and Kevin Spacey's masterful performance, I recommend it highly.


* *


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious and insecure


----------



## zonebox

Pretty damned amazing, I have rum and coke, listening to industrial rock, playing wotlk on a private server.. I've grabbed on to life, and am riding that ******* in a way that works for me. I'm gonna brag a little and piss off some of you here, life tries to beat me down, and I take it, then I bounce back up ready for another beating, I don't let it own me. I have my moments, where it all seems to go to hell, but somehow I always find a way to push back. It's either because I am too stupid to realize it is all ultimately pointless, or it is just defiance of it all.. I like to think, it is defiance of it all, proudly sticking my finger to the world, and moving along despite what it throws at me.

I'm like a cockroach, I swear, after the nuclear holocaust all there will be is little zonebox's wandering around the mutants. People like me, are supposed to be dead by my age. Of course, being Friday, and having a bit of rum is making me a bit cocky, I am doing pretty good right now. I have a bit of liquid happiness in me.


----------



## MCHB

Tipsy; it's beer and movie Friday...WOOT! 

(I drink once a week, lol. Tomorrow is Bike-to-pain Saturday!)


----------



## harrison

I feel incredibly relieved that my son is back home, but I also feel worn out from all the worry. My moods have been all over the place lately too - not sure if it's just me but it will be good to have some time away soon now I know he's okay.


----------



## Crisigv

Pointless


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison

That is awesome mate. 

@Crisigv

Ok.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Excited.


----------



## Crisigv

ANX1 said:


> @Crisigv
> 
> Ok.


Glad you finally agree.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Glad you finally agree.


I thought I was repeating something you already know. Sorry about that.


----------



## Herzeleid

Alone.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

:cry


----------



## tehuti88

Annoyed and perplexed.

For being such a sucky liar, it's amazing how often I'm doubted.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tehuti88

 :hug


----------



## Vivian Darkbloom

Nauseous.


----------



## zonebox

Still doing pretty good.


----------



## slyfox

Undeserving of what I have in life and worthless


----------



## kivi

So bad. My ears are ringing, I can't stand up or eat due to nausea. My parents think I should go to the ER.

I feel like I turned green because of sickness. :/


----------



## Jeff271

^Sorry, hope you feel better.


----------



## CNikki

I guess a little bit better since I've slept in. Still having a little bit of anxiety sinking in.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@kivi

 :hug

Go to the ER.

@CNikki

Good to hear that you feel a little bit better.


----------



## Crisigv

No better


----------



## Mondo_Fernando




----------



## SofaKing

Time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking, into the future.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Down :l

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed. Lonely. The usual.


----------



## Tomboy27

At the moment, and for years...depressed, empty, bored, useless, and much more. But, i think you get the picture.


----------



## Crisigv

used and alone


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed. Lonely. The usual.


Awww. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling with my feet, toes instead of my hands this time.   :grin2:


----------



## Noraborealis

Not so great. I suddenly feel ill. My phone died died today. It's been acting strangely, and now I can't get it to turn on. I've tried everything, even a factory reset. I'm thinking it's the battery but need a new phone anyway. Ugh, using Mom's phone isn't the same and lost all of my stuff basically.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Noraborealis said:


> Not so great. I suddenly feel ill. My phone died died today. It's been acting strangely, and now I can't get it to turn on. I've tried everything, even a factory reset. I'm thinking it's the battery but need a new phone anyway. Ugh, using Mom's phone isn't the same and lost all of my stuff basically.


Plug the charging cable in and you should be able to use it.

If saved contact info, etc to the SIM card, I think you can just transfer the SIM card to phone exactly the same.


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed


----------



## Dissipated

I think i've actually beaten those damn cigarettes this time, haven't smoked one for a month now and i feel awesome.


----------



## discoveryother

Crisigv said:


> used and alone


sorry. hope you feel better soon


----------



## Noraborealis

ANX1 said:


> Plug the charging cable in and you should be able to use it.
> 
> If saved contact info, etc to the SIM card, I think you can just transfer the SIM card to phone exactly the same.


Thanks but it had no SIM card. It was a junk phone I was only using for wifi. It was doing all kinds of strange things like randomly changing to Chinese and other other weird glitches like letters overlapping. I tried all kinds of chargers and cables. Was going to try flashing it too, but it wouldn't let me get that far. I couldn't really google a solid diagnosis. Probably phone demons. :blank


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Noraborealis said:


> Thanks but it had no SIM card. It was a junk phone I was only using for wifi. It was doing all kinds of strange things like randomly changing to Chinese and other other weird glitches like letters overlapping. I tried all kinds of chargers and cables. Was going to try flashing it too, but it wouldn't let me get that far. I couldn't really google a solid diagnosis. Probably phone demons. :blank


You're welcome. 

Oh, ok. 

That sounds like a virus which the cheaper phones can get. Can get them virus checked, virus removed, but supposedly it cost's more than a new phone.


----------



## Chevy396

Feeling pretty good. I had the best morning walk I've ever had today. I went out into the wooded area of the property and the doe and her twin fawns were there grazing. They let me get within 15 feet of them and didn't even run. They just sort of gradually moved away after watching me for a while as the fawns were hopping around enjoying themselves. I wish I had my camera with me, but this way I got to see it for real instead of looking through my screen.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

finallyclosed said:


> Feeling pretty good. I had the best morning walk I've ever had today. I went out into the wooded area of the property and the doe and her twin fawns were there grazing. They let me get within 15 feet of them and didn't even run. They just sort of gradually moved away after watching me for a while as the fawns were hopping around enjoying themselves. I wish I had my camera with me, but this way I got to see it for real instead of looking through my screen.


----------



## SplendidBob

Well, my neck was a bit better out and about in the outlet centre today. Pretty sure it was just lingering pain killing effects from kratom though. The stretching is making it very flexible, I will soon be able to rotate my neck anywhere, unfortunately flexibility doesn't seem to be helping with the ole pins n needles.

Borrowed some mood from modafinil today, that's going to have to be paid back later, no doubt.


----------



## Depo

Sleepy.


----------



## DoctorM5

A mix of emotions.


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless garbage


----------



## lylyroze

My heart is broken by a best friend. I don't trust anyone ever! I feel reject by everyone I just want to die now.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Worthless garbage


No. :hug :squeeze


----------



## Noraborealis

I've not gotten an official word about being excused from jury duty on Wednesday. I expected something in the mail or a call by now. I heard that the case I'm assigned to was settled, but maybe there was an error. I have to call tomorrow to find out. Court stuff really makes me nervous


----------



## Crisigv

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> No. :hug :squeeze


Thanks. But it's the truth.


----------



## Sassandclass

Sad today. No... not sad. Apathetic. I'm usually productive, but today after work I just wanted to flop on my couch and do nothing 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

Like a piece of garbage


----------



## Kevin001

Pretty good....grateful.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bitter.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired. Time to take a shower, get dressed, and put all those freaking dishes away.


----------



## tea111red

crap


----------



## Crisigv

Highly anxious. Also mad, sad, forgotten, unwanted. Just feeling so bloody low, I hate it.


----------



## Entrensik

Not as bad as i usually feel.


----------



## caelle

Awful. I feel very alone, depressed and worried about my future. Not being financially independent is so hard. But also the thought of having intense anxiety from working seems just as hard. I don't know what to do. I think I should really consider anxiety medication. I'm a mess, I can't relax.


----------



## harrison

Amazed that with all the thousands I've wasted when I was manic I can still dwell on a few bucks I've blown on something I've bought back here in Australia. I need to get some perspective.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired and irritable.


----------



## waterfairy

Dissipated said:


> I think i've actually beaten those damn cigarettes this time, haven't smoked one for a month now and i feel awesome.


That's great! I'm proud of you 

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk


----------



## Ai

Kind of depressed. Found out I might not have a job anymore come winter.

It's amazing enough I was hired for this one and was able to hold on as long as I have. It won't happen again. :sigh

Well. Pretending to be an adult was enjoyable while it lasted, I suppose...


----------



## Paul

@Ai It's a _might_, and you've gained a lot of valuable experience and probably a good reference. Try not to let the possible unemployment get you down until it actually happens. (I've spent too much of the last 14 years worrying that being homeless was right around the corner, and wish I could go back and slap myself for it.)


----------



## Ai

Paul said:


> @Ai It's a _might_, and you've gained a lot of valuable experience and probably a good reference. Try not to let the possible unemployment get you down until it actually happens. (I've spent too much of the last 14 years worrying that being homeless was right around the corner, and wish I could go back and slap myself for it.)


It's a _big_ might though. Business has been suffering during periods where we are apparently flourishing on average; and, according to my boss, winter is usually dead. So if we're flunking out now, hope seems pretty scarce at this point. :|


----------



## Sabk

Enraged

Sent from my SM-G900H using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely and feeling left behind


----------



## Wanderlust26

Frustrated and unaccomplished.


----------



## Dissipated

waterfairy said:


> That's great! I'm proud of you
> 
> Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk


Thanks bruh.


----------



## f1ora

oh you know
just feeling like the typical ugly girl who will never compare with the next b!tch, ez


----------



## JohnDoe26

Pretty ****ty. Every time I go outside it's an uphill battle and mentally exhausting. I can barely do simple tasks that involve communicating with people or being outside.


----------



## Crisigv

Who cares


----------



## Mur

A bit tired


----------



## zonebox

Just mixed my first drink, I have a couple of candles lit, listening to Nine Inch Nails.

Pretty good, it certainly could be a lot worst.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

zonebox said:


> Just mixed my first drink, I have a couple of candles lit, listening to Nine Inch Nails.
> 
> Pretty good, it certainly could be a lot worst.


Hey, you don't happen to have two drinks? Because if you do, wanna share it?


----------



## zonebox

Ominous Indeed said:


> Hey, you don't happen to have two drinks? Because if you do, wanna share it?


Yep, I've got a crap load of rum, a bunch of cola mix, a full bottle of CO2 to make cola, and probably about 6 to 8 beers that have been sitting in my fridge for a month


----------



## cinto

zonebox said:


> Yep, I've got a crap load of rum, a bunch of cola mix, a full bottle of CO2 to make cola, and probably about 6 to 8 beers that have been sitting in my fridge for a month


No wonder you're always in a chill mood. Love, love your avatar. It's the greatest


----------



## MCHB

Totally sober.

#lies.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Confused


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Down. Alone.


----------



## Eternal Solitude

Tired and exhausted .


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bizarre


----------



## Raz SAD

I feel like I need 15 posts to post links and I have only 14 so I need one more.


----------



## RuralJuror

Bored out of my mind.


----------



## tea111red

i'm sabotaging a good thing!!!!! :bash


----------



## herk

dont want to engage with reality at all right now


----------



## Crisigv

Feet feel like they're going to fall off.


----------



## mt moyt

kill me now


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

So lonely.


----------



## Smiddy

Tired


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mellow. I just had a glass of Molson Canadian Premium cider to celebrate my newest Smartphone purchase.



SamanthaStrange said:


> So lonely.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## brian97

Anxious. Its 5:25 am and im kept up by anxious thoughts and feelings. Like most nights. I'm worried about getting my hair cut. Its always a tedious task that fills me with dread.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and lonely


----------



## gosunoob

Hi everybody. I'm new here. I don't have friends and I mostly keep to myself my entire life. I find I don't have much in common with people so I gave up trying to make friends. I did find someone special I can connect with on the internet. We've talk for about 4 years then she left without a word. She didn't tell me why but I knew I overwhelmed her by being clingy. I can't control myself. So I don't have anyone to talk to anymore. Now I really start to feel my energy drain, i've lost my appetite and sleep. I feel sad, lonely, angry, empty, helpless all at the same time. I have no reason to be depressed. My mom's gone through a lot in her life so maybe that's why she thought I'm just being dramatic. I'm also 18. Everyone my age has got a job. I'm ashamed.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Sad and lonely


:hug :squeeze


----------



## Lohikaarme

Marginally motivated. The idea of working on stuff I've been putting off doesn't fill me with existential dread at least


----------



## Chevy396

In slightly less pain than yesterday.


----------



## Crisigv

I had a good sleep, but I'm still so drowsy. It's almost 2pm,and I have almost no energy to finish my breakfast coffee.


----------



## tehuti88

Kind of hurt, even though I know* it was nothing personal. I just wish I understood, is all. :/


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Feeling pretty good today.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Smiddy

Empty and cold.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lost, stiff, bewildered


----------



## Magicmoo

Ground hog day


----------



## Kevin001

Exhausted.....feel like I got hit by a bus.


----------



## Chevy396

Feeling pretty good considering the circumstances. For the first time in my life I am able to keep a bunch of really good weed lying around and not even crave it until I'm in extreme pain. I think I may almost be that new person I always wished I could be. Never underestimate how beneficial real loss, pain and sacrifice can be for your happiness in the long run.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Confused. Everything confuses me.


----------



## Crisigv

Down and awkward


----------



## llodell88

sleepy


----------



## A Void Ant

Feel better today. Probably since it's the weekend and I don't have to be around coworkers who trigger me. I'm so glad I get Monday off for the holiday.


----------



## Gothic Cupcakes

Absolutely terrible and I don't really know why. I feel extremely irritable, anxious and I feel as though I am going to throw up at any second >_<


----------



## Crisigv

Relaxed and anxious at the same time. Depressed as always.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Drained.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like a ****ing idiot. Ugh.


----------



## Clsd619

I feel horrible ive been making bad decisions, getting myself in trouble for stupid things that i have done. I wish there was a reset button and we could start the day all over again.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mellow.



Crisigv said:


> Relaxed and anxious at the same time. Depressed as always.


:hug :squeeze



SamanthaStrange said:


> Like a ****ing idiot. Ugh.


:hug :squeeze



itswolfgirl91 said:


> Unbelievably depressed .....but trying to stay positive


:hug :squeeze

Positivity is good!


----------



## taspay

Frustrated, but tomorrow's a new day. I've been trying to learn to take life as it comes and not let the little things bring me down, but today I've been struggling with that.


----------



## Kevin001

Have this crick in my neck but overall fine I guess.


----------



## tehuti88

Like a joke, because that's apparently all I am.

Perhaps I should feel glad that my frustration is so funny, but unfortunately I don't.


----------



## cnate

like ending it


----------



## SofaKing

Embittered. I work because I'm expected to, not because it's free from anxiety. 

Sometimes we do things because we have to.

Desire and comfort aren't always matched.

Yes, my sympathies are waning.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tehuti88 said:


> Like a joke, because that's apparently all I am.
> 
> Perhaps I should feel glad that my frustration is so funny, but unfortunately I don't.


:squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed, lonely, and unwanted.


----------



## Vip3r

Stressed, There is long lines at the gas station that still have gas, no water at the store, and a hurricane is coming to possibly destroy my house. :dead


----------



## Xenacat

I had a decent day and I realize a lot of problems I have I make. Working at not caring what others think of me and keeping my thoughts positive about others.


----------



## SPMelly

I'm doing alright I guess. Done with work for the week. Get to enjoy a 4 day weekend so I've got nothing to complain about

Sent from my SM-G955F using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

Anxious and sad


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

cnate said:


> like ending it


Please don't. 



SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed, lonely, and unwanted.


:squeeze :hug



Crisigv said:


> Anxious and sad


:squeeze :hug


----------



## forgetmylife

an exceptionally decent/normal amount of motivation (strength in presence but not amount, solid but not in duration)

slightly above average mood it seems, but not happy or satisfied or feeling that good in general... an odd place to be in, but can't complain since I'm not down


----------



## Mc Borg

So weak.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Trapped.


----------



## sadgal101

extraordinary said:


> Feeling lonely.
> 
> How did you disappoint yourself this time?


I dont even know where to start. BU t basically, I'm on self-sabotage mode lol
:laugh:


----------



## JohnDoe26

Like ****. I'm fighting off a cold and I just went out to get some soup, which doesn't taste as good as I expected (don't you hate it when you go to a place and they change the way they make something to where it tastes different or at least not as good as before).


----------



## CNikki

A mix of tired and frustration.


----------



## Mur

Despite a co-worker pissing me off earlier - not so bad.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A little bit gloomy...

I had a hard time sleeping last night, as my tummy was a bit gassy and grumbly. I ended up going to sleep at 4:20am even though I was in bed at 2:00am.

FML.


----------



## Crisigv

Alone


----------



## NeverFeltRight

Anxious, confused, trapped, alone


----------



## SofaKing

Trapped


----------



## MCHB

Tipsy.

*starts dancing to J-Kwon in his head*


----------



## Lohikaarme

Yawn.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

Lohikaarme said:


> Yawn.


Don't yawn on the forum, that **** is contagious!


----------



## Lohikaarme

Ominous Indeed said:


> Don't yawn on the forum, that **** is contagious!


 Too late! :kma
Admit it, you just did too


----------



## Ominous Indeed

Lohikaarme said:


> Too late! :kma
> Admit it, you just did too


If you must know, I actually didn't. I am having waaaaay too fun cooking dinner!


----------



## CopadoMexicano

very distressed ugh


----------



## zonebox

I'm a little worried, we will be getting gusts of wind 90+ mph early Monday morning. My house should hold up, but I'm concerned about our windows, our screen in patio, the garage door, our shed, and projectiles flying through our house.. I'm also concerned with being without electricity for 3-4 days.. well no electricity will be sort of cool, and I have a solar panel with a deep cycle battery to keep some of my gadgets going, but still. I have to clear out stuff in the yard tomorrow, to make sure none of it becomes projectiles to our neighbors homes. 

Thankfully, I live in an elevated portion of Florida so flooding should not be an issue, I'm near the top of a hill and the water should just roll down to those unfortunate enough to live in flood zones.


Sooo, tonight I'm gonna drink some rum play some video games, and enjoy the air conditioning while it lasts


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Restless and lonely.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm ready to disappear and/or sleep forever.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

 :hug


----------



## Scentient

Miss my athletic build


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> I'm ready to disappear and/or sleep forever.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## llodell88

tired, misunderstood, my ear feels funny, cheated, confused, mistreated, unsafe, sick, ....what else. make up more stuff about please.


----------



## Mur

So-so


----------



## Chevy396

Like a spring.


----------



## firestar

Free.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Confused.


----------



## Crisigv

Like I was never good enough from the beginning.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Pretty depressed.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mixed emotions.


----------



## Crisigv

No better. I think I need to get out of the house for a few hours today.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired after a long day today out and about with mom.



Wanderlust26 said:


> Pretty depressed.


:hug :squeeze



llodell88 said:


> tired, misunderstood, my ear feels funny, cheated, confused, mistreated, unsafe, sick, ....what else. make up more stuff about please.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Uncomfortable, tired, lonely.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Uncomfortable, tired, lonely.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thanks.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks.


No problem!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel like I post in this thread too much. :lol


----------



## cinto

Too repetitive


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad and lonely, like I do every night.


----------



## zonebox

I was feeling down, but then I came to this site and see what other people are going through, and then it seems almost selfish to feel bad. I'm doing pretty good, my house is lit up, I'm listening to A perfect circle, playing on a private wow server, got rum and cola in my cup. Went through a hurricane last night, and it was absolutely awe inspiring, I kid you not, to see nature like that is amazing, as I saw trees twisting in the wind, transformers blowing out, I laughed at the madness of it all, I walked into it, and let it push me around, it was a raw beauty that you would have to be there to appreciate. 

I am worried about my mother in law, but thanks to the glory that is the Internet, I know her trailer park was not impacted by the winds of the storms, but did lose power. I expect we should hear from her tomorrow.

Things are not so bad, this is only temporary after all


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Uncomfortable & restless


----------



## Kevin001

Tell ya in the morning.


----------



## Kevin001

Kevin001 said:


> Tell ya in the morning.


Yep still sick. :serious:


----------



## Ghossts

Inching closer and closer to my demise. Just don't really see why I should keep going on. It's been building for a while, but even though I am trying really hard to improve myself and do things outside my home, I see no improvement.


----------



## kivi

I feel like I should die as soon as possible.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

kivi said:


> I feel like I should die as soon as possible.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## SofaKing

I'm always the responsible provider. When do I get taken care of? #never


----------



## uziq

My emotions have been all over the place today. Bored one moment, existential crisis and dread another moment, hypomania another... I mean, I feel way better than I have felt in the past 6 months. But damn, it would be nice to have some stability...


----------



## Crisigv

Not as good as yesterday.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Not as good as yesterday.


Awww. :hug

I hope your day gets better.


----------



## Chevy396

I just got back from my neurologist and she wants to put a heart monitor inside me for I think a year to gather data on why I had a stroke. Making me feel nervous about the surgery and about how she's not sure if I'm safe or not. Not to mention how weird it's going to be having a computer chip inside me for that long. I wonder if I'll be able to pick up a bluetooth signal.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A little lonely tonight. 



Crisigv said:


> Not as good as yesterday.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Downward spiral.


----------



## Crisigv

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> A little lonely tonight.
> 
> :hug :squeeze


Thanks


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@iAmCodeMonkey

Sorry to hear. 

@SamanthaStrange

 :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Thanks


No problem! It is the least I can do.


----------



## Rickets

Had the worst blood test I've ever experienced this morning. I had to fast beforehand, but collapsed on the floor and came so close to passing out and lost vision for a little while, all colours in my eyes and pressure in my head. Either an incompetent nurse or related to my diet. My anxiety kicked in and I thought I was gonna die as everything faded lol. They couldn't get any blood out the first time. 

Came home, ate toast and chocolate cake to get some sugar in me and feel almost back to normal. I've been getting tests for 11 years so I'd say it was my low carb diet that was responsible.


----------



## kivi

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thank you


----------



## Rains

Rickets said:


> Had the worst blood test I've ever experienced this morning. I had to fast beforehand, but collapsed on the floor and came so close to passing out and lost vision for a little while, all colours in my eyes and pressure in my head. Either an incompetent nurse or related to my diet. My anxiety kicked in and I thought I was gonna die as everything faded lol. They couldn't get any blood out the first time.
> 
> Came home, ate toast and chocolate cake to get some sugar in me and feel almost back to normal. I've been getting tests for 11 years so I'd say it was my low carb diet that was responsible.


That sounds horrible. I had a bad one once where the nurse actually drew blood from an artery. Only realised when she removed the syringe. What happened after was slightly shocking (won't go into details, there's a reason why you're not supposed to take blood from arteries). I've never had anxiety with blood tests before but that experience was just... ugh.


----------



## Kevin001

Headache and still feel bad.....but this can't last forever so.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Miserable.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Miserable.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## SofaKing

Spent and alone


----------



## Rickets

Rains said:


> That sounds horrible. I had a bad one once where the nurse actually drew blood from an artery. Only realised when she removed the syringe. What happened after was slightly shocking (won't go into details, there's a reason why you're not supposed to take blood from arteries). I've never had anxiety with blood tests before but that experience was just... ugh.


Damn, was that from your arm? I heard they take it from other areas like the hand if they can't get it from the arm. Have you had anxiety with every blood test since that experience?


----------



## Rains

Rickets said:


> Damn, was that from your arm? I heard they take it from other areas like the hand if they can't get it from the arm. Have you had anxiety with every blood test since that experience?


I haven't had anymore blood tests since that experience actually. Not deliberately though. It does make me anxious to think about but I don't want to freak myself out so I try to play it down in my mind. I'm mostly anxious not because I think something life threatening could happen, but because it's disgusting and I get very troubled and avoidant of things that gross me out.

Yeah it was from my arm. I have plenty of veins to pick from but nurses usually complain they're too small and I guess this one mistook an artery for a vein.


----------



## Crisigv

Sore and sad


----------



## Chevy396

Buzzed


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Still miserable, this has been a bad week. :sigh


----------



## Dissonance

Ugh yesterday was hell, I was so tired by the time I went to sleep. Waking up now I still feel slightly exhausted.


----------



## Jeff271

I'm ok.


----------



## tehuti88

_Really_ tired of this particular drama.


----------



## TheInvisibleHand

Sanguine


----------



## Crisigv

Almost empty


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anticipatory anxiety


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Getting sleepy. Good thing too, seeing as I have to remember to wake up early on Saturday.



Crisigv said:


> Almost empty


Everything will be okay. :hug :squeeze



Canadian Brotha said:


> Anticipatory anxiety


I am sure you will be just fine, brotha! :high5


----------



## BefuddledBeyondDiscern

--


----------



## Crisigv

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Everything will be okay. :hug :squeeze


No, I truly believe it won't be.


----------



## mixxie

I'm scared.


----------



## tea111red

feels good to have less financial problems.


----------



## Kevin001

Feeling better just need to be completely healed now.


----------



## Captainmycaptain

Lonely. Yesterday, I spoke less than ten words. I can even count them.

1. Grande
2. Iced
3. Coffee
(would you like sugar and milk?)
4. Half-and-half
5. No
6. Sugar
(coffee is passed to me)
7. Thank
8. You


----------



## Crisigv

Sad. And tired, I'm not sleeping well.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Worried sick.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Restless and lonely.


----------



## Chevy396

Like I'm not sure if I should do this last set of lifts or not. I just added a bunch of weight and I want to, but I might be in unbearable pain tomorrow and the next day.


----------



## Taaylah

Like I hate myself


----------



## Crisigv

Forgotten


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, hungry, & anxious


----------



## Crisigv

angry


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired, but happy.


----------



## CNikki

Insomniac.


----------



## Crisigv

Confused


----------



## funnynihilist

Bed, I need you now, but I'm too lazy to make it


----------



## zonebox

Chinelka, at the end of a road guide, frothing with numbers upon a highway of fractures, enduring the shiny reflections of pores upon the highlights of scented candles. Will others relate? Robotech was a great show, when I laid books upon the imitation table, with dice and rules, but such times have passed.

To hell with you society, impress the gods, I am but a mere bag of waste.


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad hopefully I can go and survive church today.


----------



## CNikki

A little hopeless...still.


----------



## Chevy396

I just remembered that I live in paradise now, so pretty good. No reason to be depressed, no reason to have anxiety. People come here for vacation as tourists, and I actually live here. It's just taking me a couple years to really get used to it after being so used to living in Kansas, aka hell.


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless garbage sums it up pretty well right now.


----------



## BAH

Neutral


----------



## Yer Blues

Steady as she goes..


----------



## Chevy396

I can't forget the things I want to forget, and I can't remember the things I want to remember.


----------



## CNikki

Anxious. :/


----------



## catcharay

Paranoid. I feel like our neighbors are a big brother, meaning when you go in/out of shed they do noises like honking their car. No way they can see though.. so now makes me think they planted cameras. Am I going crazy? Also found a porno magazine dated last year in the shed.. when we had moved in already, definitely know it doesn't belong to anyone here. Got me wanting to move.


----------



## Ckg2011

Like nothing I do in life is ever good enough. Oh well I am just a big disappointment I guess.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Feeling down as usual. Still not where I want to be and time keeps flying by. I'm really scared about my future.


----------



## marylight

frustrated, tired, depressed, anxious, sad, misunderstood...too many emotions bottled up.


----------



## CNikki

Who knows anymore. I just randomly start to bust out crying whenever.


----------



## SofaKing

Out of body


----------



## humblebee

Hopeless. I'll never change and I'll always hate myself.


----------



## Crisigv

If nothing else, I'm at least glad I'm off for two days.


----------



## Chevy396




----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, sad, lonely, confused, and tired.


----------



## forgetmylife

8mg buprenorphine daily

versus 

max dose laxative + had 3 2mg nicotine gum today + on Effexor daily which causes diarrhea = holy **** (literally) my stomach is going to explode! worst cramps ever... hope i don't die... omg what did I do

at least I have something to do for the day ha

another hour on the can? yup :flush:crying:

sweating and light headed now, fml


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Who knows anymore. I just randomly start to bust out crying whenever.


:hug :squeeze



SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious, sad, lonely, confused, and tired.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thanks. I didn't get a notification for this quote. :con


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks.


No problem!



SamanthaStrange said:


> I didn't get a notification for this quote. :con


That is SUPER bizarre. :con :lol


----------



## forgetmylife

i feel 90% better if you know what i mean

can function now, but not worth it... need a new solution since OIC is chronic, too bad for all the meds advertised on tv for it there's no generics

why in hell are prescriptions like $300 a piece for a month's supply? how is that possible? who could actually afford that? and generics are only like $100 cheaper doesnt even really help!


----------



## Kevin001

Tired


----------



## riverbird

Happy and content.


----------



## Kevin001

riverbird said:


> Happy and content.


0


----------



## Jeff271

I was kinda craving a pipe but then I remembered I don't smoke. The crickets are chirping away. I found some peppery vegan jerky. It might rain later tonight.


----------



## Flora20

Lonely, sad yeah..


----------



## Chevy396

High on life.


----------



## Crisigv

A little lonely. But I'm always like this when I don't work. I realize that no one thinks about me.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A little annoyed.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mad, but mostly at myself.


----------



## Chevy396

Not great. My baby niece is getting a semi-permanent feeding tube because she's so small. Makes me sad. She's my favorite relative.


----------



## calimerc

I feel exhausted. Dealing with a bad breakup which has made me feel more lonely and lost than normal. Haven't been able to sleep well for weeks so just feel exhausted emotionally and physically. Any self esteem I had left was shattered. I'm not sure what to do anymore.


----------



## tea111red

O_O


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hopeless.


----------



## Crisigv

Ugly


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Confused


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.


----------



## CNikki

Tired but restless. Between the lack of motivation and simply not keeping up with what I thought I could handle, it's likely contributing as to how I've been mentally. I don't need to add more problems (based on recent posts.)


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Disregarded


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Who cares?


----------



## SofaKing

I can't seem to accept my irrelevance.


----------



## Kevin001

Exhausted


----------



## Crisigv

Not good, feel bloated and uncomfortable. I saw my reflection in the mirror and I cringed, as usual.


----------



## Chevy396




----------



## greentea33

Crappy. Too early for bed. Sick of stuff.


----------



## Kevin001

Eroded but also grateful.


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired and icky from the heat.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Worthless


:hug :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

Crisigv said:


> I saw my reflection in the mirror and I cringed, as usual.


lol......yeah. me, too.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Annoyed, restless, sad, and lonely.


----------



## CNikki

Annoyed. Feeling like when pushed by my limits, especially in public, I'll lose it.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Annoyed, restless, sad, and lonely.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## Gothic Cupcakes

Quite strange because I am a bit hyper but at the same time feel really depressed underneath.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

My soul hurts


----------



## Sanaa

Tired . Angry . No friends . Lonely .


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Happy.


----------



## CWe

Helpless


----------



## forgetmylife

high as ****, dam. New drug, this shall be only on rare occasion. I'm done with drugs but this one was a one-time bucket list I hadn't done before. idk. Kinda scary, we'll see how my body feels soon.

caught up with my brother, great night. Poured our hearts (and shared opinions) out and talked about so much. Like we could have never done sober. We now understand each other in this rough time and I wish the absolute best for you and your girlfriend bro, it's been 8 years. It is what it is but she needs to be up front with you or you gotta give it up since she has turned her back on you and our whole family that housed her for 2 years...

love my bro... wish I had more people as close to me as him. Sometimes you can't be totally open with family and you lose connection or understanding for what they are going through or why they might act a certain way... I'm glad we've caught up.

I hope I find love one day. Someone I can be totally open with. 

I hope I don't die, damn Im high. lol. Gotta love anxiety ruining powerful highs. I didn't split an 8 ball now so I should be ok.


----------



## CNikki

Right now? Angry and that I want to cry.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hot and sweaty. :sigh



CNikki said:


> Right now? Angry and that I want to cry.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Low


----------



## May19

Having an anxiety attack be cause I accidentally send to the person the message was talking about.


----------



## MCHB

Tired.


----------



## Kevin001

Woke up with a scratchy throat ugh...not again.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Kevin001 said:


> Woke up with a scratchy throat ugh...not again.


:hug Get well soon


----------



## Kevin001

Lohikaarme said:


> :hug Get well soon


Thanks hopefully its just from sleeping with the air so dry.


----------



## Greys0n

i am depressed


----------



## Crisigv

Awful. I mean nothing to no one.


----------



## caelle

Anxious. I have jury duty for the first time ever and I'm nervous about it. It's not for over a month but still. That almost makes it worse. I have to wait so long. That gives me a lot of time to overthink and panic.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Indifferent.


----------



## Kevin001

caelle said:


> Anxious. I have jury duty for the first time ever and I'm nervous about it. It's not for over a month but still. That almost makes it worse. I have to wait so long. That gives me a lot of time to overthink and panic.


I can't imagine hopefully you don't get chosen.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Well, I’m awake


----------



## funnynihilist

caelle said:


> Anxious. I have jury duty for the first time ever and I'm nervous about it. It's not for over a month but still. That almost makes it worse. I have to wait so long. That gives me a lot of time to overthink and panic.


You could always get out of it if you have a nice dr who knows about your anxiety.


----------



## CNikki

A little relieved since I talked to someone about some things I've been going through. It helps to clear your head a bit when getting an outer's perspective, especially if they are not quick to judge you.


----------



## caelle

Kevin001 said:


> I can't imagine hopefully you don't get chosen.


Yeah I really hope I wont.



funnynihilist said:


> You could always get out of it if you have a nice dr who knows about your anxiety.


That would probably work but I don't go to the doctors regularly and I've never told any of them about my anxiety. So that's really not an option. I'll just have to suffer through it I guess.


----------



## AlixWW

feeling sleepy , i need to sleep


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am feeling everything and nothing, seemingly all at once.


----------



## Crisigv

Meh


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Unappreciated.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Here you go:


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Uneasy, unsure where I’ll land on the mood scale for the day


----------



## CNikki

Ending the night with two cats who were eager to lay beside me. May seem stereotypical and predictable for a person such as myself, but I have to say that feeling wanted in some form eases things up a bit. Something so hard to find in other human beings.


----------



## greentea33

I ran home. Im so out of breath right now.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed and lonely.


----------



## Chevy396

Painful. I walked too far today and also hurt my back trying to pop my neck. I need to stop doing that.


----------



## Crisigv

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed and lonely.


Me too!!!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Getting sleepy. Need some tea and cookies before bed.



SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed and lonely.


:hug :squeeze



Crisigv said:


> Me too!!!


:hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Crisigv said:


> Me too!!!


I don't know how to interpret that smile. Are you deranged? Lol.


----------



## Crisigv

SamanthaStrange said:


> I don't know how to interpret that smile. Are you deranged? Lol.


I was just trying to joke around. Weird that I still try to have fun, when I want to die, lol.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Crisigv said:


> I was just trying to joke around. Weird that I still try to have fun, when I want to die, lol.


I do the same thing, my sense of humor is the only thing that keeps me going sometimes.

But, I was kinda hoping you were deranged, too. :b


----------



## Crisigv

SamanthaStrange said:


> I do the same thing, my sense of humor is the only thing that keeps me going sometimes.
> 
> But, I was kinda hoping you were deranged, too. :b


I think I am, don't worry.


----------



## SofaKing

Disregarded...like no one and nobody. I guess it doesn't matter if I ever existed.


----------



## catcharay

Repeat


----------



## Kevin001

Tired


----------



## SerialPillock

Lonely and scared.


----------



## alienbird

Okay.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SerialPillock said:


> Lonely and scared.


Keep your head up my friend. PS: You just got a new subscriber.


----------



## CNikki

A little disappointed.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Afreen88 said:


> Unwell, both emotionally and physically


:hug :squeeze



CNikki said:


> A little disappointed.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## catcharay

I Wonder if I should take pregnolone again. 10mg daily-2 weeks eventually made me feel suicidal which is converse to all the amazing reviews I read affecting them (3 mths). I was suicidal so I stopped but now Im reassessing.. mybe it was the combo of no Sun and just levelling out period. I feel my outcomes are changing in rl but inner life is still some ways to go.

Sent from my TA-1020 using Tapatalk


----------



## catcharay

Tired, but satisfied, proud of myself. Reassessing about taking pregnolone again. I thought it made me really depressed, but it might be a combo of lack of Sun and levelling out period. My outcomes have changed in rl but my inner life, I think still needs tending to.

Sent from my TA-1020 using Tapatalk


----------



## LaserBeamOCD

Completely alone. Ignored. Devastated. Hurt. On the verge of crying. I am nothing.


----------



## SerialPillock

Thanks monkey. Seems really dumb but I guess sometimes we all need someone to tell us it'll be ok or whatever, it's like wired into us as embarassing as it may be. So thanks again, you're very kind. Nice to know there are people like you on here, take care of yourself yeah


----------



## Flora20

Sad and almost emotionless, my heart feels like it's turning into ice..


----------



## SerialPillock

I hope something really bad didn't happen to you laser, sorry if so  You're not entirely alone though, we're here too, and you're definitely not nothing, no matter how much it feels that way at times. This is really dumb but it helps me to think of the world as a giant jigsaw. Everyone gets the same size of piece. Some people seem or feel bigger, some smaller but at the end of the day we're all as capable and incapable, as big and small as each other, equal. There's one piece of this puzzle that's you, and you get to decide what you want that to be. Without you the puzzle's not complete, so you are never nothing, just not always as much as you want to be YET. I dunno, told you it was dumb but I mean well hah.You're just not the someone you want to be right now but that's a temporary state and I believe you'll find your way. Again cheesy but hey, take care yeah. Hugs and stuff


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Avoidant.


----------



## Crisigv

So tired


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired


----------



## harrison

I have that tight, "full" feeling across my forehead again. I thought it was a headache but it's different. It's very confusing because you don't know if it's you or the medication.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Exhausted. Had a long day today.


----------



## Crisigv

Like I don't matter


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely.


----------



## twistix

SamanthaStrange said:


> Unappreciated.


:hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

twistix said:


> :hug


Thanks. :squeeze


----------



## twistix

Crisigv said:


> Like I don't matter


You matter! :squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

twistix said:


> You matter! :squeeze


Wish that was true


----------



## twistix

Crisigv said:


> Wish that was true


It is true! Quit telling yourself otherwise


----------



## thomasjune

I'm taking a three day weekend so I feel pretty good and relaxed right now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## CNikki

Dreadful and unappreciated, so therefore I'll start to slack off [at least more than I have been]. I have greater things I need to focus on anyway.

_Might help if I feel bloated and might have my head in the toilet, therefore I can't [properly] sleep._


----------



## Chevy396

Lit


----------



## Wanderlust26

Depressed, lonely, regretful.


----------



## Flint

Wanderlust26 said:


> Depressed, lonely, regretful.


Hey samesies!


----------



## Marakunda

Tired, a little sad. Hopeful for tomorrow.


----------



## MinatoMatoi

Angry, really angry inside. It's so unfair how some people think bad stuff about me and they decide not to let me in their lives just like that... and i haven't done anything bad to them. Absolutely nothing.


----------



## CNikki

Like a zombie. So tired.



MinatoMatoi said:


> Angry, really angry inside. It's so unfair how some people think bad stuff about me and they decide not to let me in their lives just like that... and i haven't done anything bad to them. Absolutely nothing.


Same. I don't have to do anything sometimes and people tend to find an issue with me.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

That depression in the chest feeling


----------



## Crisigv

Hopeless


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Canadian Brotha said:


> That depression in the chest feeling


 :high5



Crisigv said:


> Hopeless


:hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sleepy. Time for bed after my chai tea.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm scared, and confused, and sad, and feel horrible


----------



## Kevin001

Crisigv said:


> I'm scared, and confused, and sad, and feel horrible


:hug


----------



## mn123456789

it's too late for change CBT isen't working, I'm unmotivated, it kinda feels nice to stay home and just play video games but it get's in the way off work and making money


----------



## tea111red

i'm going crazy from deprivation.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Nervous, but excited.



Crisigv said:


> I'm scared, and confused, and sad, and feel horrible


:hug :squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sorry


----------



## May19

i feel grimy right now and I have a night class, so why not put on some makeup so I don't look like I just woke up


----------



## CNikki

A little annoyed. Wondering how some people go about their lives not having to do things and yet have more advantages than those who try to work hard to get what they are given. Of course it would be politically incorrect to express this frustration.


----------



## funnynihilist

Blooted


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Getting sleepy. I have a big day tomorrow.



Crisigv said:


> I'm sorry


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## catcharay

Good. I'm happy w my progresion atm and on this plane of thinking where Im receptive to creative ideas for my business plan. The thought of pitching is scary but I have to do it cause I refuse to stay at this job forever. Honestly that's the only thing giving me hope, don't care if I've got sa as long as my idea flourishes.

Sent from my TA-1020 using Tapatalk


----------



## MoonlitMadness

Depressed af.


----------



## funnynihilist

Really out of it today. Like not very lucid.


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

Tired, disappointed, and disrespected.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Depressed


----------



## SplendidBob

Got a cold coming. The timing of that might be annoying.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Pissed off.


----------



## PocketoAlice

-Insert enormous sigh here-


----------



## MinatoMatoi

CNikki said:


> Same. I don't have to do anything sometimes and people tend to find an issue with me.


It sucks. It bothers me a lot that i can't even stop thinking about this from time to time... If i had good things in my life, things to think about or people to share and create new (good)memories, i could stop thinking about all this bad stuff. But i don't have any of that. I have nothing to think about, just all this ****ing unfair stuff that has happened to me and that it keeps repeating...
I try to meet people and make friends and some get angry at me out of nothing with ridiculous excuses... it makes no sense and it makes me sad.


----------



## CNikki

Sick. Anxiety and feeling like I want to puke.


----------



## thomasjune

Worried about a close family member who seem to be hanging out with some shady people.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

Uncertain


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Drained. I had enough socializing for one day, lol.


----------



## Eternal Solitude

I'm in the office on a 12th floor. Memos and emails keep coming to my inbox. My projects have been mostly completed . Testing has been satisfactory and the clients want to deploy to production.

Pulsating migraine.

Can't concentrate.

Can't think straight.

My brain has turned to mush.

The euphoria that I had two months ago, turned to calmness and in turn that calmness turned to sadness. Unwanted thoughts that remained dormant have been awakened. I can feel the sharp claws of depression clutching my soul. I find no rest, no respite, no peace. Depression just keeps chasing me like a supernatural entity from a horror movie. It wants me dead. It can't be killed . Rather , it just pretends to be dead or hurt every time I manage to weaken its power. Only to then come back revitalized and stronger than ever. My coping techniques only work one time and have to come with a new strategy every time.

*I'm so tired of fighting. I will never be normal. my brain is not wired for interpersonal relationships. I am too judgmental , too paranoid and too suspicious. I am stupid, ugly and underserving of all the good things that I have and yet deserving of every bad thing. I need to be punished! *

As I look out the window people look like ants and cars like beetles. Contemplating suicide... Third time is the charm right? As I pace through the floor I am greeted by coworkers with friendly smiles.

Do they know what is going through my mind?

How would they react? I know a girl that is very squeamish about blood. She also appears to be very sensitive. Much more than I. If I go forward with this , she might be seriously traumatized.

Besides, this is a very high profile building. Suicides are almost never reported. But this will be all over the news. Still, there is a vain thought that I will disappoint and let a lot of people down.

I can't do this. Not here. Not now. Oh how I wish to die from natural causes or from a freak accident ( just like my sister). It should have been me who died that night. Not her!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I had a really weird day, and my emotions are all over the place.


----------



## SofaKing

Like I just want to give up getting healthy and just let nature take its course. 

It's not like anyone I would want, would want me, anyway.


----------



## CNikki

Like I've had it. Between physical pain/abnormalities and feeling even more ostracized, I've had it.


----------



## Crisigv

My lower back hurts like a *****. I was consciously lifting with my legs, but I guess I'm beyond that.


----------



## catcharay

Happy. I feel things are going into alignment. I was just saying I wrote a kiss *** cover letter and I get a call two days later, which is good if I get it because it's part time (and doesn't completely suck like my current one), and I can focus all my other hours on getting my business happening. That would be so ideal. Then in the near future, my full time job will be my business

Sent from my TA-1020 using Tapatalk


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired, but pretty positive, for once. I have two volunteer positions starting soon. Hopefully things will be finally looking up for me.



CNikki said:


> Like I've had it. Between physical pain/abnormalities and feeling even more ostracized, I've had it.


 :hug :squeeze



Crisigv said:


> My lower back hurts like a *****. I was consciously lifting with my legs, but I guess I'm beyond that.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## cinto

Eternal Solitude said:


> I'm in the office on a 12th floor. Memos and emails keep coming to my inbox. My projects have been mostly completed . Testing has been satisfactory and the clients want to deploy to production.
> 
> Pulsating migraine.
> 
> Can't concentrate.
> 
> Can't think straight.
> 
> My brain has turned to mush.
> 
> The euphoria that I had two months ago, turned to calmness and in turn that calmness turned to sadness. Unwanted thoughts that remained dormant have been awakened. I can feel the sharp claws of depression clutching my soul. I find no rest, no respite, no peace. Depression just keeps chasing me like a supernatural entity from a horror movie. It wants me dead. It can't be killed . Rather , it just pretends to be dead or hurt every time I manage to weaken its power. Only to then come back revitalized and stronger than ever. My coping techniques only work one time and have to come with a new strategy every time.
> 
> *I'm so tired of fighting. I will never be normal. my brain is not wired for interpersonal relationships. I am too judgmental , too paranoid and too suspicious. I am stupid, ugly and underserving of all the good things that I have and yet deserving of every bad thing. I need to be punished! *
> 
> As I look out the window people look like ants and cars like beetles. Contemplating suicide... Third time is the charm right? As I pace through the floor I am greeted by coworkers with friendly smiles.
> 
> Do they know what is going through my mind?
> 
> How would they react? I know a girl that is very squeamish about blood. She also appears to be very sensitive. Much more than I. If I go forward with this , she might be seriously traumatized.
> 
> Besides, this is a very high profile building. Suicides are almost never reported. But this will be all over the news. Still, there is a vain thought that I will disappoint and let a lot of people down.
> 
> I can't do this. Not here. Not now. Oh how I wish to die from natural causes or from a freak accident ( just like my sister). It should have been me who died that night. Not her!


Wow, you are loved by someone, somewhere. 
Hugs* mucho Hugs!*


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I wish I could just disappear. I feel this way more and more.


----------



## Kevin001

SamanthaStrange said:


> I wish I could just disappear. I feel this way more and more.


----------



## andrew141

Pretty alright I guess. I just woke up and I'm not feeling nauseous like yesterday but I'm kinda tired/anxious.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## CNikki

Scared. Nauseous so much so that I've hardly eaten. Dreading the fact that time goes by fast when I don't want it to.

Ate a little bit and I don't feel much better. -_-


----------



## tea111red

****


----------



## Crisigv

Better than earlier. And I got to eat dinner, lol.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired and full from all the food.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Better than earlier. And I got to eat dinner, lol.





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Tired and full from all the food.


Reading these one after the other makes one think you ate dinner at the same time. :eek :grin2:

But the time difference disappoints the reader. :sigh


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> Reading these one after the other makes one think you ate dinner at the same time. :eek :grin2:
> 
> But the time difference disappoints the reader. :sigh


Yeah right lmao


----------



## Chevy396

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Yeah right lmao


Hmm... another SAS romance?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

finallyclosed said:


> Hmm... another SAS romance?


No. I was at thanksgiving dinner with some family members tonight. I am talking to, and dating, someone else I met on OkCupid for that thing called romance.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Yeah right lmao





finallyclosed said:


> Hmm... another SAS romance?


Needs this -






Perfecto.


----------



## Chevy396

Like I may have hit the jackpot, but I still have to verify the results.


----------



## Jeff271

still rather frazzled, and sleepy


----------



## Marakunda

It's crazy how fast I can go to completely okay, inspired and ready to be productive to insanely depressed and wanting to die.
Really feeling low right now. Not even sure why, or even if it has a cause. I just feel this way, then I don't. But it always comes back.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> No. I was at thanksgiving dinner with some family members tonight.


We figured you both on here were having a lovely thanksgiving dinner with your families (making you both happy) when taking into account the time of the year. 

It was just the way it read when put your post's together which was interesting. 

When talk / post in short with the same subject, it can be interpreted many different ways, depending on who reads it.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am talking to, and dating, someone else I met on OkCupid for that thing called romance.


I hope that is going good mate. 

It's nice to see @iAmCodeMonkey @Crisigv being happy. 

I hope you both have many more good days ahead.


----------



## snarygyder

Anxious, lonely, frustrated, hungry, sad.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> ****


:sigh :hug

I need to do a better job of making you laugh, be happy.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

snarygyder said:


> Anxious, lonely, frustrated, hungry, sad.


Awww. :hug

Chin up.


----------



## BronnieBoo

kinda tired still mad and upset that my dad broke my phone but im glad hes getting another one


----------



## Jeff271

okay now, making pancakes


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed. Alone.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed. Alone.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## funnynihilist

I'm at about 55% lucidity


----------



## SofaKing

I have a cold...making foccacia. Will post pictures if I remember.


----------



## Crisigv

SofaKing said:


> I have a cold...making foccacia. Will post pictures if I remember.


Oh you better remember. Focaccia is wonderful.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Anxious about tomorrow, and tired because I am still not awake yet.


----------



## SofaKing

Crisigv said:


> Oh you better remember. Focaccia is wonderful.


Posted in the food thread. It turned out amazing.


----------



## tehuti88

Forgotten.


----------



## Ai

Sleepy. Frustrated with my laptop. It's taken to obnoxiously beeping--the pattern of which, according to Google, apparently indicates a real time clock power failure... The date and time, however, are correct. The only solution I can find is a dismissive "replace the CMOS battery." And when that doesn't work "replace the motherboard."

Of course, I don't know enough about computers to trust myself to do any of this on my own, so I'd have to pay some seedy, price-gouging technician to it for me... And in the event of the latter outcome, that's probably about 300 bucks, minimum, on a laptop that wasn't super expensive in the first place...












tehuti88 said:


> Forgotten.


:squeeze


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh


----------



## tea111red

sick of holding back.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Pissed off and depressed.


----------



## SofaKing

Like doo-doo...my cold is progressing to my chest and has woken me up.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Ai said:


> Sleepy. Frustrated with my laptop. It's taken to obnoxiously beeping--the pattern of which, according to Google, apparently indicates a real time clock power failure... The date and time, however, are correct. The only solution I can find is a dismissive "replace the CMOS battery." And when that doesn't work "replace the motherboard."
> 
> Of course, I don't know enough about computers to trust myself to do any of this on my own, so I'd have to pay some seedy, price-gouging technician to it for me... And in the event of the latter outcome, that's probably about 300 bucks, minimum, on a laptop that wasn't super expensive in the first place...


 In that case, you probably don't have a lot to lose by trying to replace the battery. If you can get the case open without breaking anything the CMOS battery in most computers I've ever seen is one of those little button batteries. Should be right there in plain sight once the computer is open. Once that's done, if you can get it back together without breaking anything, you have successfully replaced the battery.

That said, I have never taken a laptop apart. So you might be better off just using it like it is until you can simply replace the whole thing. Not really worth paying someone to fix a cheap laptop IMO.


----------



## Ai

WillYouStopDave said:


> In that case, you probably don't have a lot to lose by trying to replace the battery. If you can get the case open without breaking anything the CMOS battery in most computers I've ever seen is one of those little button batteries. Should be right there in plain sight once the computer is open. Once that's done, if you can get it back together without breaking anything, you have successfully replaced the battery.
> 
> That said, I have never taken a laptop apart. So you might be better off just using it like it is until you can simply replace the whole thing. Not really worth paying someone to fix a cheap laptop IMO.


Well, I suppose I was being a _little_ dramatic in my frustration. I'm not 100% sure how much the laptop cost (it was a very surprising combination Christmas/birthday gift), but it's not a super high end machine or anything. I'm guessing probably in the ballpark of 700 dollars. It's that amount relative to the original cost that severely annoys me. But, realistically, it'd still be cheaper to fix this laptop rather than buy a new one. :/

I am both stubborn and a cheapskate, and so the thought of simply ignoring it definitely did cross my mind, I won't lie. lol

But

it

is

so

irritating.

It drives me up the wall. The beeping continues even after Windows has booted (albeit more quietly), and just... indefinitely... I can't make it stop. It makes me want to body slam it. I definitely couldn't use it in the same room as my family (which is the bulk of the time I use it--so that I can feed my computer addiction while also being at least kinda-sorta social), because _they'd_ body slam _me_. lol


----------



## harrison

A bit tired - today was much busier than I thought it would be.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Depressed, alone, and coming back down to earth with a bang.

Coming back here after 3 months away, 3 months of actually living with someone and doing so much together, then falling out, is really ****ing hard to deal.

I'm ****ing lost without her, and it's hard to look back on the good times.

There's so much more I'd like to do with her and she doesn't feel the same.

I feel like I need her too much, and need people to much.

She's the only person I've had anything to do with in years, and it's hard knowing I've had such good times, and that even though Ive spent the vast majority of my adult life alone, I've had this taste of fun with another human being, and still need someone in my life. I will never get used to being alone and being happy with just myself. :|


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad and lonely, every night, like clockwork.


----------



## Kevin001

Disappointed


----------



## A Void Ant

Baffled. Completely baffled. :serious:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> Depressed, alone, and coming back down to earth with a bang.
> 
> Coming back here after 3 months away, 3 months of actually living with someone and doing so much together, then falling out, is really ****ing hard to deal.
> 
> I'm ****ing lost without her, and it's hard to look back on the good times.
> 
> There's so much more I'd like to do with her and she doesn't feel the same.
> 
> I feel like I need her too much, and need people to much.
> 
> She's the only person I've had anything to do with in years, and it's hard knowing I've had such good times, and that even though Ive spent the vast majority of my adult life alone, I've had this taste of fun with another human being, and still need someone in my life. I will never get used to being alone and being happy with just myself. :|


Good luck my friend. You can get through this. 



SamanthaStrange said:


> Sad and lonely, every night, like clockwork.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thanks.


----------



## catcharay

I feel that the universe's energy is helping me somehow. I got a job I interviewed for, which I initially got rejected but the person they offered it to eventually declined it, leaving the opening for me. This energy is helping me 

Sent from my TA-1020 using Tapatalk


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Not very awesome. Have had one hell of a bad few weeks. Diet and exercise routine were completely disrupted. Probably gained ten pounds (doesn't sound like a lot but it is incredibly difficult for me to lose weight). Am still very worried about many things that I don't have any answers to.

Just.........ugh.


----------



## zonebox

Relatively well, it could be a lot worst that much is for certain. It is almost a given, that if on this site things are not too bad in my life, I avoid this place like the plague when I am feeling at my worst, I avoid all social media for that matter, and at times have avoided the Internet entirely for weeks on end. I'm the sort of person who best deals with depression through isolation, as it is usually people who bring it about in the first place.

I think the web can be detrimental to one's mental health, and getting off of it can help a lot. The toxicity of people on various sites, can be pretty nasty at times. One just needs to read the comments on various news articles, or youtube videos to come to this conclusion  Plus it is easy to get swept away and neglect yourself.

I'm outside right now, it is in the 70s, a little humid but otherwise pretty cool. I'm listening to the birds chirp, watching the subtle sway of branches on the trees. A very slight breeze is trying its best to keep me cool. I have my 2in1 tablet tethered to my phone, and typing on this forum, not exactly the worst case scenario at all  It is amazing how far technology has progressed, I can watch a few videos on Netflix, and probably will in another hour. 

In another three hours, I'll be home cleaning my house, taking care of my dogs, then driving to pick up meh people to bring them home. Not too bad.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Good luck my friend. You can get through this.
> 
> :hug :squeeze


Thanks mate!


----------



## Kevin001

A little overwhelmed


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Meh.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely. Phone dies, turn it back on a few hours later. Not a soul thought of you.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

What my mood says.



Crisigv said:


> Lonely. Phone dies, turn it back on a few hours later. Not a soul thought of you.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## riverbird

Hopeful. Got official confirmation from my ortho doctor last week that my knee cap is completely healed. I can also now walk short distances without my crutches. I have an awesome little limp because my leg is still quite stuff, but I don't even care. I see the light at the end of the tunnel! :clap :yay :banana


----------



## Flora20

Kind of sick, sad and lonely..


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Flora20 said:


> Kind of sick, sad and lonely..


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Unwell.


----------



## funnynihilist

Come on Ibuprofen!


----------



## kivi

Tired and useless.


----------



## CNikki

I've had better days. Feels like an eternity ago, but I've had them.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> Lonely. Phone dies, turn it back on a few hours later. Not a soul thought of you.


Well I thought "I wish she'd get rid of that
'worthless garbage' garbage above her avatar"

Put something better there because I can tell you aint worthless garbage and I barely know you.

And that doesn't mean you can just leave the one, garbage, or worthless, they both gotta go! lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sick, tired, grumpy, and lonely.


----------



## CNikki

Empty.


----------



## movingbee

I am kinda tired and I want to go to somewhere to relax and have fun with my family


----------



## Crisigv

Meh


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired, and need to go to bed soon after a snack.



CNikki said:


> Empty.


:hug :squeeze



Crisigv said:


> Meh


:hug :squeeze


----------



## Yer Blues

Very stoned.

Feel like making some tunes with an elastic band guitar & kazoo.


----------



## discoveryother

relaxed, a little tired, and a little on edge


----------



## thisismeyo

andy1984thesecond said:


> relaxed, a little tired, and a little on edge


exactly the same


----------



## funnynihilist

Kinda sick


----------



## Crisigv

Very very cold


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Bored.



Crisigv said:


> Very very cold


Me too.


----------



## CNikki

Tired as hell. =_=


----------



## Kevin001

My anxiety is up and kinda feel overwhelmed but also very proud of myself for doing all that I do.


----------



## Chevy396

Excited


----------



## funnynihilist

Like there is nothing else left for me in this world.


----------



## gthopia94

Like ****ing ****!!!!!! :bash


----------



## cinto

Like a giraffe running from lions, you can't catch me...you can't see me


----------



## TippyTappy

AW this is cute!

Unsure, low-key optimistic, glad, distant


----------



## Crisigv

depressed


----------



## CNikki

Tired and dreadful.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Pissed off and numb...if that's even possible.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Totally miserable.


----------



## unemployment simulator

physically a bit tired but sort of in that tired satisfied state when you know you've worked hard and it's been good. mind is in a completely different place though, mentally kind of hyperactive atm.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Cold, & tired, & sore, & hungry


----------



## snarygyder

Lonely.


----------



## Yer Blues

Canadian


----------



## zonebox

I'm a 42 year old weirdo, that is unemployed, socially awkward, and unaccepted by the majority of society cause I don't fit into the norm. But, I'm doing pretty good right now, got my rum, got my cola, got a fan blowing on me, I'm listening to some Korn, this is pretty good living. 

I'm bragging, but why wouldn't I? I'm beating the system, by all accounts, I should be miserable right now. It is what I have been told all my life, that if I did not meet some standard, I would be miserable, that everything would be horrible, well faq the system, I beat it. I never really believed in it in the first place, never put faith in that BS, saw too many people beaten by it.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Nervous, but excited for the coming weekend.



Wanderlust26 said:


> Pissed off and numb...if that's even possible.


 :hug :squeeze



SamanthaStrange said:


> Totally miserable.


 :hug :squeeze



snarygyder said:


> Lonely.


 :hug :squeeze



Canadian Brotha said:


> Cold, & tired, & sore, & hungry


Chin up brother! :high5



zonebox said:


> I'm a 42 year old weirdo, that is unemployed, socially awkward, and unaccepted by the majority of society cause I don't fit into the norm. But, I'm doing pretty good right now, got my rum, got my cola, got a fan blowing on me, I'm listening to some Korn, this is pretty good living.
> 
> I'm bragging, but why wouldn't I? I'm beating the system, by all accounts, I should be miserable right now. It is what I have been told all my life, that if I did not meet some standard, I would be miserable, that everything would be horrible, well faq the system, I beat it. I never really believed in it in the first place, never put faith in that BS, saw too many people beaten by it.


This is bordering on profound.


----------



## CNikki

Confused and that I need to sort some situations/sort my life out. It's hard doing it alone.


----------



## Gothic Cupcakes

Severely depressed. I feel as though I am getting worse day by day, felt depressed for a long time, but I feel a gigantic jump in the depression scale in the last week or so and generally feel sick right now. I don't even know what to do anymore.


----------



## zonebox

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> This is bordering on profound.


It is sad that it is, it really shouldn't be. Far too many hold themselves up to standards set by others, I'm guilty of it myself, but not to such an extent, it leads so many people down a path of hellish self loathing, worst yet, we hold others up to expectations that are not at all healthy. To think, we as a specie used to cannibalize one another, we refused to take baths based upon it being a pagan ritual, we would drink our water from lead pipes, use mercury to heal wounds, alligator poop as a method of birth control, we would string up people who were different from us, burn people who worshiped different gods, we have done so many profoundly idiotic things throughout our history, and caused so much harm to ourselves in the process.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Grumpy cat.


----------



## Wren611

My body is comfy and relaxed enough that I could fall asleep right now. My mind is numb but in pain.


----------



## CNikki

Thoughts are all over the place. It's uncomfortable.


----------



## caelle

So tired and bored. Also craving McD fries. I think I'm going to be bad and get some


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad. But what else is new. Doesn't even matter at this point.


----------



## Chris S W

Feeling anxious about a phone call I have to make tomorrow. I don't want to let them extort money from me. If I don't make the call then I'll likely owe more money to a debt collection agency, I've already paid the debt collectors once all the way back in February (and cancelled my contract a while before then), and now I get a random letter 8 months later stating that I owe more money.


----------



## Chris S W

Very anxious now. I really don't want to make this call.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Kinda nervous. 

Sent from my RCT6213W87DK using Tapatalk


----------



## Lauti

Depressed


----------



## thomasjune

Just feeling sorry for myself again. Also tired of feeling like crap.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Cool as a clam. Or something. :lol


----------



## Lohikaarme

Burned out.


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed and pathetic. I'm no better than a worthless speck of dirt. And it keeps being proven everyday.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

anxious
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Depressed and pathetic. I'm no better than a worthless speck of dirt. And it keeps being proven everyday.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## thisismeyo

Feeling alright. I want this semester to be over. There is so much going on. I will be happy when Christmas comes!


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh, 2:30am but not real tired


----------



## rezan

feeling missing


----------



## Crisigv

Slightly dizzy


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Cool as a clam. Or something. :lol


It's bloody cucumber. :b


----------



## CNikki

Anxious.


----------



## taylanicole

Frustrated and annoyed. Why are doctors so useless?


----------



## CNikki

Like I'm on the verge of a breakdown.


----------



## Going Sane

Like im going crazy


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Less than stellar.


----------



## unsocial lego

I feel like I don't want to exist. In this reality at least.


----------



## zonebox

You ever have that feeling, like you are waiting for something? I have been feeling that more or less for a while, it is not really a depressed feeling, I suppose more along the lines of being bored. I can usually snap myself out of it, by grounding myself.. the thing is, sometimes I forget that. I have all sorts of tricks to keep myself from getting into a depression, it comes from being alive for decades, getting a feel for myself, where certain sensations will bring me, and so on. If there are good things about getting older, it is that you become more familiar with yourself. You pick up tricks as you go along, they don't always work, but they help out. On the negative side, you also forget you have certain tools in your toolbox.

So, the general feeling of waiting for something to come but being unsure what that something is or if it will ever arrive.. Yeah, I've had that before, it is familiar, been there, done that, and the best way to deal with it as I said earlier is to ground myself. Usually when I start to feel this way, it is because I am not appreciating the things I do have as much as I could be. That is not necessarily a bad thing, at times it can lead me to being creative, finding new things to do, but right now options are limited, and not addressing this feeling will lead to more problems down the road, it is best to deal with this sensation while it is manageable, or it could lead to a depressive episode lasting for days to weeks.

I'm sitting in front of this huge 17 inch monitor, connected high speed to the Internet, I have an unlimited amount of information available to me, and all I have to do is ask for it. My dogs are hanging out with me, one laying by my feet, the other on the love seat laying on her back, and looking at me all lovey dovey, she is such a goof. I'm not in any pain, if anything I got these big plush cushions supporting me, a fan blowing a nice breeze my way, physically I feel pretty good. I'm playing some relaxing music.. I'm here, alive, things are good. I have everything I need, to snap myself out of this rut, all I need to do is reach out and take advantage of it all. Posting to this thread was part of all of that, next I think I'll play a few video games.

This message is cheesy as all hell, I'll post it regardless - perhaps someone will find a bit of use out of it, who knows? 

I'm feeling better than I was ten minutes ago though.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and fed up


----------



## Eternal Solitude

Physically: Tired and with a cluster headache.

Emotionally/Mentally: Lonely and sad. Trying my best to fight my demons and not give into despair. It is very hard though :crying:


----------



## Chris S W

Sad and anxious.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hopeless. Lonely.


----------



## riverbird

Anxious, nervous, insecure, vulnerable, exposed. Sigh.


----------



## noydb

Pathetic. I really need a job.


----------



## Fruitcake

Really, really nice. I am happy. Today was a good day. So many good things happened, good dogs, good cats, good flies, yay. I was close to crying from happiness a few times today. It is a beautiful day. Goodnight stupid, dumb Universe, see you tomorrow mfer. :heart


----------



## changeofmind

Lonely , depressed just thankful I can sleep in a few hours.


----------



## unsocial lego

Stressed and depressed. I didn't want to leave my bed today I just wanted to lay in bed until tomorrow.


----------



## zonebox

I've been feeling good today, earlier I felt incredibly energetic and that was pretty cool. I think that may have something to do with the diet I've been on, I've lost 40 pounds since August and am not feeling as worn out lately. I've only another 40-50 to go, and then I'll be at a healthy BMI. Another ten pounds, and I will no longer be considered obese, and instead overweight. Anyway, the chores for the day are mostly done, the house cleaned, laundry washed, dogs taken out to do their business, I just have to pick up my family, go to the store to buy some dog food,and some cola for a few drinks I plan on having tonight, then cook something to eat and then I can play a few games, drink a few drinks, and enjoy my night. 

I love Fridays, they are my drinking day  Saturdays I get to sleep in, and it is the one day of the week, where I don't clean the house (as much) and be lazy as can be.


----------



## Kevin001

Stuffed...ate too much.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Frail


----------



## Jeff271

ok, keeping busy


----------



## Crisigv

In so much pain


----------



## PandaBearx

Sleep deprived


----------



## funnynihilist

Foggy


----------



## Maverick34

Pretty good


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Unmotivated.


----------



## catcharay

Need coffee. Last day of working on weekend tho  yes!

Sent from my TA-1024 using Tapatalk


----------



## MCHB

Like Emmet from the Lego Movie!


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I'm drinking a few beers, listening to some TooL, and enjoying the night.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A little bit miserable tonight, to be honest. Woke up at a horrible hour and kind of felt it for the rest of the day.

Not having anyone to chat with does not help matters, as both my Facebook friends were offline today (my guy friend from high school whom I recently re-connected with, and the beautiful woman I met on OKC.)

I hate lonely weekends.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling like a piece of garbage that no one wants anything to do with.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Fighting tooth and nail to keep myself from tumbling head-first into misery again. I'd say I'm doing a great job, considering.


----------



## Eternal Solitude

I am more calm and emotionally stable now. It's amazing how physical pain can soothe and alleviate mental and emotional pain.

Disclosure: I did not harm myself willingly, I just had a minor accident last night.


----------



## snarygyder

Extremely anxious, worse than ever, I have no one to talk to (irl) and I don't know what to do with myself. I'm afraid I'll fall behind with my uni work because of this. Fml


----------



## gthopia94

Stressed & fatigued af. My physical anxiety has really taken a toll on me in the past week. I just came from the hospital (for the last time voluntarily, btw!) to see what I could do to alleviate the issue ASAP and it feels like I'm back to square one. If these "medicines" the doctors keep prescribing don't work, then I'm done with the medical industry once and for all.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Depressed, lonely, nervous and scared.


----------



## naes

Tired, content, and a little depressed. It is an interesting combination.


----------



## fluorish

Stuck inside my brain ..


----------



## riverbird

Just a bit pathetic.


----------



## Chevy396

Kind of like this song.


----------



## kivi

I feel disgusted.


----------



## zonebox

I really miss New England, but otherwise everything is good.


----------



## thistea215

I'm okay today I guess 

A bit tired. A bit worried about finding a job..

Hope everyone is having a great day!


----------



## Xemnas

diamondheart89 said:


> Like an insecure blob.


Same here, plus add some rough cold and cough
somehow i feel like i would like to just sit and talk with someone, but not sure about what...life, dreams, the universe? or maybe favorite games, anime? or maybe crazy life events. i dunno... and at the same time i just want to hide below my bed, away from everyone....


----------



## unsocial lego

Better than yesterday.


----------



## Kevin001

Sluggish might eat soon


----------



## Sweetgirl90

Not great. Worried about everything. Cant wait to feel happy again. Its been a long time since I felt real happiness.


----------



## HiddenFathoms




----------



## Crisigv

Standing on the ladders today really did a number on my feet.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad, lonely, and restless.


----------



## CNikki

Confused, restless, somewhat violated.


----------



## AffinityWing

Energetic :yay

I'm glad I spared some time to work out again today.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Sad, lonely, and restless.


:hug :squeeze



CNikki said:


> Confused, restless, somewhat violated.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## mcpon14

extraordinary said:


> Feeling lonely.
> 
> How did you disappoint yourself this time?


If you are feeling lonely, just create an imaginary friend and interact with him or her. It is perfect because you can mold that person into any kind of friend that you want. You would just have to get past the stigma in your own mind, if you actually have it or else I am just projecting here, in order to do it.


----------



## naes

unsocial lego said:


> Better than yesterday.


----------



## tea111red

saw this guy and now i'm longing for him again. :no


----------



## funnynihilist

Too tired to go to bed, if that makes sense


----------



## Chevy396

Itchy


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Woke up with a headache. :bah


----------



## Chevy396

Not as itchy.


----------



## Chevy396

SamanthaStrange said:


> Woke up with a headache. :bah


Shouldn't drink so much.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

finallyclosed said:


> Shouldn't drink so much.


Yeah, I'm a real booze hound.


----------



## SplendidBob

SamanthaStrange said:


> Yeah, I'm a real booze hound.


I knew it.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

splendidbob said:


> I knew it.


----------



## wmu'14

Frustrated as usual. Frustrated more then usual.


----------



## CNikki

Like a degenerate...at least more so than usual.


----------



## Crisigv

Pretty crappy


----------



## Canadian Brotha

In need of an energy boost


----------



## funnynihilist

Not so good


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like it's never going to end.


----------



## funnynihilist

Dead inside


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling lazy and guilty. I did not clean the house today, it did not really need it, but still it is a routine I don't like to break. Spent most of the time on the Internet, when I should have been doing more productive things.


----------



## Persephone The Dread




----------



## Ominous Indeed




----------



## Crisigv

My feet feel like crap, and I have another 4 hours left.


----------



## funnynihilist

I don't know how much more of this world I can take. More and more it feels like one big prison.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

My digestive system is groaning & bubbling, I could do with the sounds & sensations


----------



## twistix

Super awkward!


----------



## Ai

On edge. Was stuck in an almost 3-hour meeting that only actually lasted about 2 because my coworkers all wanted to chat, I couldn't get home on my own, and I didn't want to be rude. *Twitch* #JustWorkedAllDay #SocializationQuotaAtMax #SetMeFreeeeee

They are also all really determined to get me to socialize with them outside of work, it would seem, and I think I can only get out of it for so long before they start taking actual offense. :|

My insides actually churned a little bit when the words "Christmas party" passed my boss's lips.


----------



## Chevy396

Dopaminy


----------



## Crisigv

I'd really like to have no feelings anymore.


----------



## cosmicslop

Haven't been having much energy for the past week. My productivity has been suffering. Work output not optimal.


----------



## discoveryother

very tired/sleepy


----------



## funnynihilist

Wish I was tired and sleepy! 
I'm pretty much wide awake.
Going to bed anyway, goodnight SAS!


----------



## tea111red

i feel alright now. earlier i felt suicidal....again. haha.

this gif i saw must've been a godsend.... :haha


----------



## WillYouStopDave

tea111red said:


> i feel alright now. earlier i felt suicidal....again. haha.


 My problem is that I never feel suicidal......but usually feel like I should be.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Feeling really anxious and overwhelmed over the thought of having to do job interviews again. Ugh!


----------



## Crisigv

Really low


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Crisigv said:


> Really low


 Now get over here for your hug. :hug

You're like a nice, warm, fluffy cat and I wanna make you pur.


----------



## HenDoggy

Headache


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Somehow content, and a little lonely. A weird combination for sure. :lol


----------



## Crisigv

WillYouStopDave said:


> Now get over here for your hug. :hug
> 
> You're like a nice, warm, fluffy cat and I wanna make you pur.


Thanks


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

.


----------



## discoveryother

funnynihilist said:


> Wish I was tired and sleepy!
> I'm pretty much wide awake.
> Going to bed anyway, goodnight SAS!


hope you're feeling better


----------



## funnynihilist

andy1984thesecond said:


> hope you're feeling better


Thanks Andy, well here it is 24 hours later and I'm in the same condition again lol.


----------



## discoveryother

funnynihilist said:


> Thanks Andy, well here it is 24 hours later and I'm in the same condition again lol.


and i'm tired again. we're stuck in a time loop.

reminds me of that movie with ashton kutcher where he's always going back in time for some reason, and ends up hanging himself with his own umbilical cord. (probably not the right thing to think about lol, but its what it reminds me of). that movie had a second version with a happy ending where he doesn't kill himself. lets try for that ending (but i always thought that happy ending was a cop out, just had to make it because the baby suicide wouldn't appeal to the masses)


----------



## mcpon14

I'm feeling okay, right now, lol. 

I talked to an incredibly gorgeous girl today for more than an hour! Yay!! It was online but she smelled so absolutely divine! Mmmm . . . . so intoxicating. 

P.S. I know that that sounds gross coming from a guy but just pretend that I'm some hot chick saying that, lol.  Voluptuous and all that jazz, lol.


----------



## BartCraft

Nice thread!
I feel so good.


----------



## CNikki

Confused and fearful.


----------



## naes

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Somehow content, and a little lonely. A weird combination for sure. :lol


Reminds me of my earlier post on here. It is indeed an odd combination. For me, i think it derived from acceptance and also depression. A realization that life is bigger than me, but i still exist and am unhappy. idk


----------



## Xemnas

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Somehow content, and a little lonely. A weird combination for sure. :lol


the same me over here.. is like i'm kinda ok with my life now... but still feel a bit lonely....
a now of some one that even her simple "good morning" makes me feel better...but then she lives across the pacific...
and sometimes like right now... i really wish i could hold her in my arms, just that warm hug... know that she is real..
and not like some character that exists in my head....:crying:


----------



## truant

Really want to smash something.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I'm waiting for someone to cross me so I can lash out at them.

Incredibly unhealthy, I know. But I don't care. This needs to happen.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel sad and tired. But I gotta go to work regardless.


----------



## SplendidBob

Irritated, my neck just suddenly kinda "popped" this morning, well that's not the right word, but yeh, now its aching again, and has been much better of late. There isn't numbness but its not good.

The cause? Wearing a shirt under my coat for a few hours over the last few days.


----------



## mike91

depressed and just sick of life and thinking why am still trying to be happy...

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk


----------



## gthopia94

I don't exactly know what precise word to use that describes what I'm feeling right now but I guess I'm feeling amiss about the last 7 years of my life given how much I've missed, what could've been and how my quality of life has went to **** since.


----------



## Kevin001

Cold.....brrrr.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Restless and lonely.


----------



## tea111red

i miss the excitement i got from this person.


----------



## hoddesdon

splendidbob said:


> Irritated, my neck just suddenly kinda "popped" this morning, well that's not the right word, but yeh, now its aching again, and has been much better of late. There isn't numbness but its not good.
> 
> The cause? Wearing a shirt under my coat for a few hours over the last few days.


Have you been taking aspartame? see: https://eurekawellness.com.au/how-did-this-deadly-toxin-find-its-way-to-our-markets-aspartame/


----------



## SplendidBob

Pretty bad today. There is a reason I seek out reassurance so much from people it would seem, I am ****ing horrible at reading people and their behaviours. I thought I was actually good at this too lmao.

Feel so embarrassed and ashamed now. Yay.

@hoddesdon no.


----------



## naes

SamanthaStrange said:


> Restless and lonely.


That is the worst.


----------



## Ai

Useless, powerless, completely pointless. He deserves someone better.


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable as usual. Whenever I'm feeling good, I can't even let myself enjoy it because I know it'll disappear.


----------



## Kevin001

Geeked


----------



## SofaKing

asi asi... mi vida es sola


----------



## cinto

SofaKing said:


> asi asi... mi vida es sola


Sonríe.


----------



## SofaKing

cinto said:


> Sonríe.


yo voy a intentar...gracias.


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy. I'm exhausted and in pain. I feel taken advantage of. I guess I get what I deserve.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Content, but tired.


----------



## funnynihilist

Dead inside, as usual...


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely, as usual. Also, anxious and conflicted.


----------



## mcpon14

I'm feeling that I should be grateful that this girl that I'm trying to get to like me as a friend has been so charitable and generous and kindhearted to me regarding this issue.


----------



## alienbird

Entertained. Watching the 90 Day Fiance tell all. :lol


----------



## gthopia94

Regretful over what happened in the last few years.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Ashamed


----------



## twitchy666

*outside, fixing car*

cold

lovely cat always comes to me. spots me. gives me attention. 
I'm drained by disappointment when car isn't reliable. 
I rely on local friend for expert fixes, I can't really follow-up.

all beings need something in common. car. food
animals are nice. humans want money and are rude

humans like humans, except me


----------



## john49000

totally depressed


----------



## cinto

Grateful. Happy to have known and spent my time with you. Happy 6 years.


----------



## SofaKing

Lonely...at a local tavern eating dinner and having a beer. Just couldn't hang at home and cook for myself another night in a row.

Not healthy.


----------



## MadnessVertigo

Uncomfortably numb.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Relieved to be home alone, but also lonely at the same time. :blank


----------



## mcpon14

I'm feeling kinda Samanthastrangely right now for some reason. A weird shiver went through my body or something of the ilk. Hmm.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Trying to fight another crying spell. My hands were feeling tingly during dinner for some reason as well. Maybe this really was too good to be true.


----------



## The Library of Emma

Like screaming and breaking things. Actually.


----------



## Crisigv

Girl Without a Shadow said:


> Like screaming and breaking things. Actually.


Me too


----------



## funnynihilist

Headache, too lazy to get out of bed to take something, hope I sleep it off


----------



## Crisigv

I'm so confused. :rain


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, sad, lonely, restless, and uncomfortable.


----------



## A Void Ant

MadnessVertigo said:


> Uncomfortably numb.


This


----------



## SofaKing

Nobody wants to ride along with me.

I'm tired of talk.


----------



## mcpon14

I'm feeling better, actually.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I’m not sure what the word is for this feeling


----------



## roxslide

I feel ok which is strange because I should be freaking out. I still have tons of homework to do and a speech to write, as well as the fact that I'm leaving for the airport in about 6 hours. But... right now. I feel ok. I'm glad I got through this Halloween. I just need to get through the next 5 days and I'll be set.


----------



## Sus y

I'm hungry  
I had a huge breakfast so I though I would have that and lunch, but... I'm hungry


----------



## HappyBread

Cyan22 said:


> Not very hopeful about anything.





itswolfgirl91 said:


> sad and loney


Aww you guys need a listening ear? Feel free to pm me okay? I'd do my best to assist in anyway I can


----------



## wmu'14

Was doing good the past few days, then saw my counselor this evening and now feel like crap again.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

wmu'14 said:


> Was doing good the past few days, then saw my counselor this evening and now feel like crap again.


What did your counsellor say?


----------



## Crisigv

Sad as usual


----------



## A Void Ant

Feeling a bit hopeful.


----------



## Neal

Pretty darn good actually.


----------



## Kevin001

Disappointed in myself.


----------



## tea111red

O_O


----------



## catcharay

My left ear is out of business and I'm worried it might be neurological reaction from something. Or just my general frantic energy this week.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Content.


----------



## Crisigv

Like worthless garbage. Keeping it as my status here reminds me of what I really am.


----------



## mcpon14

I'm still sad and had a good cry about it that this girl at church won't let me be her friend, lol.


----------



## wmu'14

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> What did your counsellor say?


Nothing bad or anything, just put the topic at the forefront of my mind again. I should've cancelled because it wasn't at the forefront and now it is again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## mcpon14

Crisigv said:


> Like worthless garbage. Keeping it as my status here reminds me of what I really am.


Why don't you put a happy picture as your status because it will reinforce the notion that things are on the up and up and will improve your mood, and what you are doing will do the opposite. I mean, you don't want to feel worse, do you, lol?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

mcpon14 said:


> I'm still sad and had a good cry about it that this girl at church won't let me be her friend, lol.


If she won't let you be her friend she is not worth your time and energy.


----------



## Dissonance

Like I am living a eternal cycle, those adult jokes in kids shows suddenly make so much sense.I also seek to grow close to someone, someone can not feel happiness with just lust.

I need weeabo and nerdy friends.


----------



## riverbird

I feel very confused.


----------



## kiwiblast

Feeling kinda restless


----------



## SamanthaStrange

A combination of a bunch of negative emotions.


----------



## Crisigv

mcpon14 said:


> Why don't you put a happy picture as your status because it will reinforce the notion that things are on the up and up and will improve your mood, and what you are doing will do the opposite. I mean, you don't want to feel worse, do you, lol?


I like being realistic.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> Like worthless garbage. Keeping it as my status here reminds me of what I really am.


It annoys me that you have that **** as your status.

I bet you can't actually explain to me why you're worthless garbage?


----------



## SofaKing

I'm inconsequential and won't be missed. It's just 5 seconds from the 32nd floor and it's all over with.


----------



## mcpon14

SofaKing said:


> I'm inconsequential and won't be missed. It's just 5 seconds from the 32nd floor and it's all over with.


You are going regret it and think that you have just made the biggest mistake of your life in mid-flight, lol.


----------



## Lohikaarme

SofaKing said:


> I'm inconsequential and won't be missed. It's just 5 seconds from the 32nd floor and it's all over with.


 :hug


----------



## Dissipated

Great,just did an intense ab workout,gotta love that burning feeling .


----------



## Smiddy

Tired, melancholy and bored as frick.


----------



## SofaKing

mcpon14 said:


> You are going regret it and think that you have just made the biggest mistake of your life in mid-flight, lol.





Lohikaarme said:


> :hug


You're both kind...alcohol was involved last night!

Still...still feel the same....the regrets of getting older and still wanting what I missed out on. Sometimes difficult to accept that loss.


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad....last day of work....a lot of games on....can't complain.


----------



## CarmenJones

Feeling excited......will get some new friends.........


----------



## Lohikaarme

SofaKing said:


> You're both kind...alcohol was involved last night!
> 
> Still...still feel the same....the regrets of getting older and still wanting what I missed out on. Sometimes difficult to accept that loss.


:rubI'm sorry you're feeling this way. May it pass soon.


----------



## caelle

I'm bored. Wishing I had someone to hang out with, or at least talk to


----------



## tea111red

:blush :afr  :cry


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Depressed/ashamed


----------



## Ominous Indeed

I feel like dying. I fell asleep because I was tired and one would have thought sleep would make one feel better, but no, I had to wake up with this massive headache.


----------



## SofaKing

Like whatever I do is ultimately pointless.


----------



## funnynihilist

^^^thats exactly how I'm feeling today


----------



## alienbird

Yeah, feeling a bit down, stressed, and unsure.


----------



## CNikki

Well, I've cried for the first time in weeks...and I have the urge to do so again, but it's rationally not worth it.


----------



## riverbird

A bit lost.


----------



## Chevy396

Forgotten by time.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I just had another crying spell earlier. What is going on with me? :sigh


----------



## Were

I'm sick, so in the last 30 hours, I slept for like 20 hours and ate only 2 chocolate bars and a banana.


----------



## Andre

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I just had another crying spell earlier. What is going on with me? :sigh


Are you sad, Monkey?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Andre said:


> Are you sad, Monkey?


My depression comes in waves. Not all the time, but it is still there under the surface. Not sure what triggers it. :sigh


----------



## Wanderlust26

Excited to experiment with semi-water culture for my orchid tomorrow. ^_^


----------



## Andre

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> My depression comes in waves. Not all the time, but it is still there under the surface. Not sure what triggers it. :sigh


I'm sorry you're feeling sad.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Been better, been worse.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I just had another crying spell earlier. What is going on with me? :sigh


:rub

I'm surprised I havn't broke down yet after last week. It will hit me though at some point.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

finallyclosed said:


> Forgotten by time.


:frown2:


----------



## LDN

Lonely, bored, left behind :crying:


----------



## funnynihilist

Zomb-like


----------



## cinto

Pretty bad.


----------



## Crisigv

Pretty crappy and hopeless.


----------



## funnynihilist

^same


----------



## Scrub-Zero

****ing terrible.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Confused. Sad. Lonely. Hopeless.


----------



## funnynihilist

****ty


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Pretty crappy and hopeless.


:hug :squeeze



Scrub-Zero said:


> ****ing terrible.


Chin up. 



SamanthaStrange said:


> Confused. Sad. Lonely. Hopeless.


:hug :squeeze



funnynihilist said:


> ****ty


Chin up.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

cinto said:


> Pretty bad.


----------



## tea111red

creepy, malicious mom makes me sick.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired from a long day, but content.



cinto said:


> Pretty bad.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed.


----------



## Neal

I feel like things are finally starting to work out.


----------



## cinto

Scrub-Zero said:


>


 thank you.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Moody. Lonely.


----------



## CNikki

Surprisingly neutral. Let's see how long that will last.

Oh, and tired. Watching a documentary and not really wanting to hold it off, seeing that I have a 48-hour access to it.


----------



## Crisigv

My feet hurt so much. And I'm pretty convinced that I have carpal tunnel in my hands.


----------



## funnynihilist

Not tired, but in bed anyway


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sleepy. About to have a snack before bed tonight.



SamanthaStrange said:


> Moody. Lonely.


:hug :squeeze



Crisigv said:


> My feet hurt so much. And I'm pretty convinced that I have carpal tunnel in my hands.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

.....


----------



## tookmostofmytime

I don't feel anything right now. Not sure if I'm happy or depressed.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Meh. Woke up with a sore throat.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Ignored.
> 
> Again.


Is she ignoring you, or someone else?

Anything happened btw?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> Is she ignoring you, or someone else?
> 
> Anything happened btw?


We talked it over last night. Everything is okay now. I apologized for assuming that she was trying to ignore me. She has some personal stuff going on right now that is stressful for her and sometimes she needs a distraction from it all.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> Meh. Woke up with a sore throat.


When the nose blocks a person starts to open mouth and breath while sleeping. That and combined with a cold night is usually what causes a sore throat.

Basically you know what you were doing while sleeping.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> We talked it over last night. Everything is okay now. I apologized for assuming that she was trying to ignore me. She has some personal stuff going on right now that is stressful for her and sometimes she needs a distraction from it all.


Ok mate. :smile2:


----------



## thislittlekat

Pretty sick, have a sinus infection plus the stomach flu and massively dehydrated and put on bedrest til Monday.

Sent from my SM-N910P using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

I am a miserable human being.


----------



## Sus y

thislittlekat said:


> Pretty sick, have a sinus infection plus the stomach flu and massively dehydrated and put on bedrest til Monday.
> 
> Sent from my SM-N910P using Tapatalk


:frown2: That's something!! Hope you get better soon.


----------



## thislittlekat

Sus y said:


> :frown2: That's something!! Hope you get better soon.


Thank you sweety, I will get better!

Sent from my SM-N910P using Tapatalk


----------



## A Void Ant

There's a girl I kinda like at the office. She's different from the other girls. I don't have a crush. I just like her a bit. It's been a while since I've liked a girl. She's quiet like me. I should probably turn my head and look in her direction sometime.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling frozen in place or in time.


----------



## Kevin001

Blah....starting to see spots, need to rest my eyes I guess.


----------



## Chevy396

I can feel a poem bubbling to the surface. Must be the kratom.


----------



## thistea215

Anxious like doom is coming. Feeling restless, agitated, sad..


----------



## Chris S W

Anxious and sad.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Better now. Today was a strange day of ups and downs.


----------



## harrison

Quite tired - a very difficult day yesterday.


----------



## Crisigv

Drained


----------



## tea111red

got to get my needs met...


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Neutral.


----------



## Yer Blues

Hungry due to pizza being brought up in another thread.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Happy, dancing while watching the video clip above due to the awesome harmony, singing mixed with a cool song.


----------



## thislittlekat

I'm a lot happier than yesterday, mainly because I get to see my bf in about 3 weeks. Plus I have lost weight. Proud of myself. 

Sent from my SM-N910P using Tapatalk


----------



## Chris S W

Confused, unsure.


----------



## doe deer




----------



## SofaKing

Ah universe, I tried...I really did.


----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## SamanthaStrange

So bored.


----------



## funnynihilist

I bet I'm more bored than you!


----------



## Yer Blues

Buzzed zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


----------



## SofaKing

Worthless


----------



## Eternal Solitude

SamanthaStrange said:


> So bored.


----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## Persephone The Dread




----------



## Crisigv

Tired


----------



## noonecares

Lonely and sad


----------



## funnynihilist

More meh than usual


----------



## forgetmylife

I've already felt all there is to feel...

Oh suicidal, lonely/depressed but slightly horny.... Interesting combo.


----------



## Kevin001

Blah...woke up with a scratchy throat.


----------



## Greys0n

i just eat so great


----------



## Psyflux

Disconnected and defeated.


----------



## unemployment simulator

cold. i'm reluctant to put the heating on as I feel I can't afford to run it a lot. I might do some cardio or something.


----------



## unemployment simulator

Persephone The Dread said:


>


yea, funnily enough I was thinking over this sort of thing the other day. looking at my diary and when I had a day where I felt really great that day and wondering what on earth was going on with me physiologically and psychologically to cause me to feel like that. for a lot of people this is normal to feel that great, for me its more like the odd exception. its almost like most people have days like that and when they get a day like my normal days they are trying to figure out whats going wrong.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Sad, disappointed, I feel like crying again. There's no end to this.

My only comfort lies in the fact that tomorrow can always be better.


----------



## Chevy396

Lohikaarme said:


> Sad, disappointed, I feel like crying again. There's no end to this.
> 
> My only comfort lies in the fact that tomorrow can always be better.


 What happened?

I'm feeling frustrated because my Dad is acting like a dick and stressing me out more than I already was before my surgery. Pretty sure he enjoys making me suffer.


----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## Kevin001

Off.....my mom is using the washer when everyone knows I do laundry on Tuesdays and then the plumber might be coming and not sure if they take credit cards idk.


----------



## Marcth

*How am I feeling right now?*

That life has no meaning and I have no purpose.


----------



## Chris S W

Unwanted.


----------



## tea111red

i'm ready for this day to end already.....no good incentive to want to stay awake.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Hanging in there.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Restless.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Avoidant. 

Guarded.


----------



## Chris S W

Thirsty.


----------



## tea111red

i want to be w/ this person.


----------



## jbphillips2001

Hopeful.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Unwanted.


----------



## Crisigv

In pain as usual


----------



## unsocial lego

Half dead half empty. Totally depressed. :yay


----------



## Lohikaarme

Like a hamster wheeling into oblivion.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Lohikaarme said:


> Like a hamster wheeling into oblivion.


Some motivation, I hope. Learn to pull off some tricks on the way down


----------



## Lohikaarme

LoganAnomaly said:


> Some motivation, I hope. Learn to pull off some tricks on the way down


Haha this is so dope :clap
If you can't change a situation, at least make it exciting right


----------



## Kevin001

Meh ok...just got a lot of going on.


----------



## Shoyo

A bit low and helpless.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I'm too old and theirs hardly any Brits here, so why am I here?

If I had any sense I'd just log off and never return.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Insufferable. Sad. Lonely. Bored.


----------



## oddist121

Pathetic. Overly tired. Useless. Confused. Sad. Upset. - you know, the usual on a Friday evening by myself. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Kandice

Miserable. Started my period.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Productive. Fingers crossed I get this job. If only paper applications existed everywhere. I'd have fun writing with these smooth pens. Well, at least one of the applications was on paper.


----------



## StudentAmbassador

*Meh*

I've been better.


----------



## SofaKing

Not looking forward to 14hrs of driving tomorrow. Ugg....holidays...obligations.


----------



## CNikki

Like my head is going to explode. Probably for the best if it does, literally - JFK style.


----------



## Crisigv

Tired
Stupid 
Ugly 
Fat
Useless 
Alone
Worthless 
Etc etc etc...


----------



## funnynihilist

Bored bored bored. Tired of this rural ****hole. There is nothing to do here. Totally lifeless.
Life here is work, kids, kids activities, Walmart, **** food, sports and heroin.

Anyone living in a major city want a middle-aged roommate?


----------



## sail to the moon

Never felt more miserable in my life.


----------



## vedavon8

im ok right now
just trying to calm my thoughts down
its not easy because i need to clean my room and push a heavy sofa bed and shelfs and TV but my anxiety keeps distracting me


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hopeless.


----------



## BackToThePast

On edge. Excited, nervous, incredulous, grateful, paranoid.


----------



## noonecares

Depressed and lonely


----------



## Me262

Bored, lonely and hopeless.


----------



## thisismeyo

On the edge. things wont last like this. i will end it


----------



## Chris S W

Slightly squiffy. Only had about 3 bottles of desperados and something else and a little more of something else. Pretty close to losing my fear/anxiety, but maybe not quite there.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Full from dinner earlier.


----------



## CNikki

I'm not feeling well. Haven't been all day. I'm supposed to be asleep since I need to wake up early and shower, but at this point I think I'm lucky to have a nap. Long week ahead. New day, facing the same problems. I have to remind myself that I am only a human being and I am valued by a few, so life isn't completely pointless. I kind of wish I didn't leave behind certain aspects of my life just so I wouldn't be as lonely. That's all I can say.


----------



## Kevin001

Cold and my stomach hurts.


----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## tea111red

i slept all day and then it took me 4 hours to feel motivated to get up out of bed (lol, it's not even a bed.....it's a pad/mat). i felt so paralyzed w/ depression.


----------



## Blue Dino

Nervous, scared and unoptimistic.



tea111red said:


> i slept all day and then it took me 4 hours to feel motivated to get up out of bed (lol, it's not even a bed.....it's a pad/mat). i felt so paralyzed w/ depression.


Same. But it took me 2 hours. Probably gonna be the same tomorrow. Unless I get awaken by something bad.


----------



## PandaBearx

Sick 😷


----------



## truant




----------



## Kevin001

Groggy


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed, lonely, and worthless.


----------



## Superina

Im feeling so lonely. I've been ok with it for a very long time (years), but now I can feel it making me depressed again. Maybe it's because the holidays are here. I have no friends. No family in this state. I want someone to do things with. I just saw a picture of my cousin on Facebook IN THE CITY I AM IN. Why didn't they contact me? Im actually not some debbie downer type, I can socialize nice and mostly normally.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

tea111red said:


> (lol, it's not even a bed.....it's a pad/mat). i felt so paralyzed w/ depression.


Same here, literally paralyzed and numb. And I sleep on a mat too lol. Always preferred it to a bed.


----------



## tea111red

like i'm going to rip my hair out!!!!!!!!


----------



## tea111red

Blue Dino said:


> Nervous, scared and unoptimistic.
> 
> Same. But it took me 2 hours. Probably gonna be the same tomorrow. Unless I get awaken by something bad.


yeah. it's really frustrating not being able to get my body to take action until after so long.



Coincidence said:


> hey tea..in 2014 you kept deleting extra posts so they won't reach 4000 posts. you apparently stopped giving a fook  :nerd:


yeah, lol. i just decided to go w/ the flow more...or something, i guess. got tired of draining myself further trying to maintain a certain number.



LoganAnomaly said:


> Same here, literally paralyzed and numb. And I sleep on a mat too lol. Always preferred it to a bed.


lol, the pad/mat is not as bad as i thought it'd be.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Like a piece of compacted, trapped $***e in the arsehole of life.


----------



## Chris S W

Tired.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Depressed and in love with a song I can't caress


----------



## anxious87

Worried I won't figure things out


----------



## Kevin001

Great just got another subscriber on youtube, my team plays later, about to kill some Tacos, and prayer meet in an hr .


----------



## twistix

Worried & aimless


----------



## Squirrelevant

I feel so depressed that it's hard to lift my arms to type this.


----------



## EarthDominator

Currently, I wish I could die at this moment...


----------



## twistix

Empty


----------



## funnynihilist

Like ****


----------



## tea111red

ruined my diet. :no

i will probably look even more horrible tomorrow.


----------



## tea111red




----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


>


Lol

I want to see what you really look like, because so many people here tend to go negatively ott over what they look like.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Lol
> 
> I want to see what you really look like, because so many people here tend to go negatively ott over what they look like.


i look like a hideous....thing blob.

a decaying hideous thing blob. i don't even think i look like a human when i see a pic of myself. i look like some alien looking thing.

just imagine a rotting combination of ALF, a horse, and this thing:









-----------

i feel so much tension inside from stress it is literally making me sick. headaches, aches, and nausea.


----------



## tea111red

:bash


----------



## pillarsofcreation

meh


----------



## catcharay

I feel good because I could feel like I was getting into a slump then I tried to do something about it. I've got an issue w focus and self achieving personal goals (probably because I'm scared of failure) so I'm kind of in the midst of setting a 'home office'. 

Sent from my TA-1024 using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I'm lonely, but I feel like I have nothing of interest to say to anyone, so I'm avoiding starting conversations with people. :blank


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> I'm lonely, but I feel like I have nothing of interest to say to anyone, so I'm avoiding starting conversations with people. :blank


 :hug

Reminds me of this song from the 80's that I think was used in Karate Kid movie -


----------



## Crisigv

My left foot hurts a bit


----------



## funnynihilist

I'm just sitting here


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> i look like a hideous....thing blob.
> 
> a decaying hideous thing blob. i don't even think i look like a human when i see a pic of myself. i look like some alien looking thing.
> 
> just imagine a rotting combination of ALF, a horse, and this thing:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> -----------
> 
> i feel so much tension inside from stress it is literally making me sick. headaches, aches, and nausea.


I've heard stunning women with BDD say stuff like that. Are you sure you're really that bad?



SamanthaStrange said:


> I'm lonely, but I feel like I have nothing of interest to say to anyone, so I'm avoiding starting conversations with people. :blank


Don't you find the whole talking online thing get's old quickly though?

It's boring, just, talking, all the god damn time! :blank

I'm off out now to Stratford Upon Avon even though I don't give a rats right arse cheek about Will Shakie Speares.

I have to resist fish n chips on the banks of the river Avon.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> My left foot hurts a bit


Missed this.

I needs my hands on it for sure. :wink2:  lol


----------



## jolene23

I guess I feel happy, today is my birthday so..


----------



## Crisigv

Pete Beale said:


> Missed this.
> 
> I needs my hands on it for sure. :wink2:  lol


Lol, I think I need new feet. Maybe a new body.


----------



## alienbird

jolene23 said:


> I guess I feel happy, today is my birthday so..


Happy birthday! :hb


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I'm feeling okay today. Not too many bad thoughts so far. I'm taking things one hour at a time, trying to keep busy. They say one day at a time, but it doesn't work with my mind.


----------



## Lohikaarme

LoganAnomaly said:


> I'm feeling okay today. Not too many bad thoughts so far.


----------



## funnynihilist

I don't know yet, probably not great


----------



## jolene23

Grand said:


> Happy birthday! :hb


Thank you 0


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> Lol, I think I need new feet. Maybe a new body.


Mine ache now. I gotta just rest em though because I'm super ticklish, so could not stand a foot rub lol.

Could do with a new body myself as well tbh. :frown2: lol


----------



## Kevin001

Grateful


----------



## funnynihilist

Well my thanksgiving is over, thank ya Jesus! Now what am I gonna do the rest of the day?


----------



## Chris S W

Doomed.


----------



## funnynihilist

^yeah


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored, and lonely.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

So tired. Did 20.5 miles in the cold with the bike, and then took a bath when I came home because I was freezing. That sent me straight into a heavy fatigue. I guess it's nappy time.



Lohikaarme said:


> ...


:squeeze


----------



## A broken laptop

Very agitated
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Marakunda

Just walked out of my room, someone I never seen was there, sister's friend I think. Immediately went back to my room after making eye contact. Said and did nothing. Felt so awkward. Really want to die now. Why, why now? I just wanted to eat something. Why do you have to be here random person?


----------



## Crisigv

Not the best


----------



## harrison

Much better than this morning - I probably could have killed someone then.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sleepy. Have an appointment tomorrow for new orthotics for my shoes.


----------



## 917554

A little hopeful but I'm running out of time.


----------



## EarthDominator

Motivated and combative, since today is my chance to get out of my situation I'm living in, on the road to a better life.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Not too bad. Invaded by my mind and thoughts. If anyone here ever played Starcraft, it's like being zerg rushed. But I'm keeping the morale up. Good things are happening and every day is a slow improvement.


----------



## copper

Arthritis is really acting up due to low pressure. Pain indexis extreme today. Plus I washed and waxed my vehicle today so I now feel someone beat me with a board. Never had the arthritis problem until I had two years of allergy shots. I think it created some kind immune reponse that is attacking my joints but my doc looks at me like I am crazy. Med care sucks up here.


----------



## harrison

copper said:


> Arthritis is really acting up due to low pressure. Pain indexis extreme today. Plus I washed and waxed my vehicle today so I now feel someone beat me with a board. Never had the arthritis problem until I had two years of allergy shots. I think it created some kind immune reponse that is attacking my joints but *my doc looks at me like I am crazy*. Med care sucks up here.


Strangely enough so does mine. 

Sorry to hear about the arthritis - my Mum had that, it's a terrible disease.


----------



## Crisigv

Kill me


----------



## riverbird

So stressed. I can't wait for my mother to leave.


----------



## DSusan

Day before today and day before yesterday have been the worst days of life. I was feeling restlessness whole days but thank God today it feels so nice -----


----------



## tea111red

i'm going to drug myself up and try to sleep for the rest of the day.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Another long, dark, cold, boring, lonely day, and it's barely 6pm. :blank


----------



## twistix

SamanthaStrange said:


> Another long, dark, cold, boring, lonely day, and it's barely 6pm. :blank


:hug 
I'd play with you but I've just finished a long week and I'm exhausted :fall


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Not peachy.


----------



## Amyloht

Not real good lately


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling down, as per usual.


----------



## Mik3

Different. But that is okay...I think..


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Eternal Solitude

Anxious, Jumpy and a bit crazy :afr:mum:eyes


----------



## caelle

Feeling very jealous and hating myself for it


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad just getting up kinda groggy.


----------



## Crisigv

Like garbage.


----------



## tea111red

aNGRY!!!!!!!


----------



## funnynihilist

Not great


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I feel like ****e, but thank sour baby Jebus for Holloway vs Aldo 2 this weekend. It's something to look forward to.


----------



## unsocial lego

Slept in some so I don't feel too bad.


----------



## tea111red

i'm really nervous, lol.


----------



## Lohikaarme




----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lohikaarme said:


>


Ever been to a butterfly house? :smile2:

Its just that your avatar reminds me of when a giant butterfly landed on my eye at London Zoo and I failed to get a seflie in time, damn it.


----------



## Sus y

:umuke:crying:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A weird mix of content and longing. :sigh


----------



## funnynihilist

The psychic energy has left my body


----------



## caelle

I am wasting too much time on here but my anxiety is through the roof. I don't know how to be productive when I feel like this.


----------



## Walt3r

I feel like kicking myself since I waited until a god damn Sunday(witha4dayweekeeeeeend) to actually start doing homework.
Also I'm procrastinating on a forum so uh. Yup.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Neutral.


----------



## Kevin001

Time constricted.


----------



## Crisigv

Exhausted and worn out. I could sleep forever.


----------



## stuckinafunk

Whenever I try to set boundaries with my mom, like today, she guilt trips me and then I have to console her and it's destroying me. 
I also tried to be honest with her about how I was feeling today and she completely invalidated how I felt. Completely. She made it about her. 
My heart is just screaming in my chest.


----------



## llodell88

the depression is high today. when have i felt so much like not doing anything to this extent. i really wish i was like 5 years younger, no reason to think im going to suddenly get better now. The stuff that's happened to me lately, it's just getting worse, having to get on disability, throwing in the towel, i hate it. i hate having to go to counseling every week, whole town think your crazy, family does too, might as well play crazy. i hate when my reality is different than other peoples. That stuff has triggered me since I was a little kid. hate going to counseling everyweek now too. hate drugs. hate being a bad person. would be nice to just cut ties with everyone and create a world where people dont all think this stuff about me. forget it all happened.


----------



## tea111red




----------



## Flora20

Empty


----------



## EarthDominator

Fighting my depression, and fighting to stay awake and not collapse, but I'm beginning to lose that battle.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Pete Beale said:


> Ever been to a butterfly house? :smile2:
> 
> Its just that your avatar reminds me of when a giant butterfly landed on my eye at London Zoo and I failed to get a seflie in time, damn it.


Never been to a butterfly house, I would certainly like to visit if I ever came across one, however. :smile2:

Darn, that sounds like it could have been a really cool shot. :wink2::laugh:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lohikaarme said:


> Never been to a butterfly house, I would certainly like to visit if I ever came across one, however. :smile2:
> 
> Darn, that sounds like it could have been a really cool shot. :wink2::laugh:


Never thought a butterfly house would trump the big cat enclosures for me. :O

I think it's probably because butterfly's are a hell of a lot more social.

I mean, you ain't gonna get a big cat just land on your eye for a little sit on your eye lid, you're just gonna get your face torn off off aint ya.


----------



## unsocial lego

feeling like ****


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Feeling like a waste of life. I'm such a stupid ****ing socially inept piece of garbage.


----------



## purplereign722

and sometimes 

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## purplereign722

Lohikaarme said:


> Sad, disappointed, I feel like crying again. There's no end to this.
> 
> My only comfort lies in the fact that tomorrow can always be better.


I hope you feel better

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## purplereign722

sail to the moon said:


> Never felt more miserable in my life.


Hope you feel better

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## purplereign722

Me262 said:


> Bored, lonely and hopeless.


I hope you feel better

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## purplereign722

thisismeyo said:


> On the edge. things wont last like this. i will end it


Things get better, just give it time.

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## purplereign722

twistix said:


> Worried & aimless


What are you worried about?

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## purplereign722

LoganAnomaly said:


> I'm feeling okay today. Not too many bad thoughts so far. I'm taking things one hour at a time, trying to keep busy. They say one day at a time, but it doesn't work with my mind.


I know that feeling, just try to stay positive.

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## twistix

purplereign722 said:


> What are you worried about?
> 
> Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


Mostly about the welfare of my family


----------



## purplereign722

LoganAnomaly said:


> Feeling like a waste of life. I'm such a stupid ****ing socially inept piece of garbage.


Don't think like that. You're just different, everyone here is, so try to stay positive. I truly how you feel better.

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## purplereign722

twistix said:


> Mostly about the welfare of my family


I can understand that. Worrying about family can take a real toll on your mental state. I think that's why I'm always so depressed. But their the reason i get up every morning. The gift and the curse i suppose.

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## Lohikaarme

purplereign722 said:


> I hope you feel better
> 
> Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


Thank you, I'm getting there. 

Have a pleasant day :squeeze


----------



## purplereign722

Lohikaarme said:


> Thank you, I'm getting there.
> 
> Have a pleasant day :squeeze


Good to hear.

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## llodell88

have a cold and legs are bothering me. arms a little too. restless leg syndrome. feel a little better than yesterday emotionally. feel bored and lazy at the same time, bad combination.


----------



## thislittlekat

Not to well, I developed gatroparesis awhile ago, and I thought it was going away but now is like if I take a bite of anything or drink anything it fella like I'm going to puke. I've been trying to drink a cup of low sodium v8 for like three hours now and I just feel like I'm going to puke with each small sip.

Sent from my SM-T550 using Tapatalk


----------



## Ominous Indeed

So very tired


----------



## Scrub-Zero

purplereign722 said:


> I know that feeling, just try to stay positive.
> 
> Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk





purplereign722 said:


> Don't think like that. You're just different, everyone here is, so try to stay positive. I truly how you feel better.
> 
> Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


Thank you. :squeeze


----------



## anxious87

exhausted, tired of everything


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Annoyed. Depressed. Lonely. Restless.


----------



## gthopia94

Like **** as usual.


----------



## llodell88

god im so bored all day. its 11 30 pm why dont i just go to bed. not tired enough.


----------



## Kevin001

Disappointed


----------



## alienbird

Not tired. At all. 

Very awake.


----------



## SofaKing

Concerned that something is wrong and I won't know until the last moment.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored out of my tiny little mind and lonely.


----------



## SplendidBob

Bored, lonely, frustrated, agitated, low mood.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Tired and stretched. Haven't even exercised yet either.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired


----------



## Alpha Tauri

Weary


----------



## EarthDominator

Horrible, can't really say the word here since it's against the SAS guidelines.


----------



## Fomorian

Dispirited


----------



## purplereign722

Worried and anxious 

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## EarthDominator




----------



## loneranger

EarthDominator said:


>


Hug. No one deserves to die.


----------



## loneranger

Alpha Tauri said:


> Weary


How come?


----------



## loneranger

sword1 said:


> Ill. Not sure if it is due to stress.


It could be.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J120AZ using Tapatalk


----------



## EarthDominator

loneranger said:


> Hug. No one deserves to die.


Maybe not, but I don't have a choice anymore I'm afraid.


----------



## loneranger

Lonely. Desperate need for affection.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel like isolating because I'm just tired of life, and people. But I also feel extremely lonely. My brain is ****ed.


----------



## Sky Blue

I just want something to give at this point so I can see the way forward.


----------



## harrison

I forgot my medication last night so woke up with a thumping headache at about 5am. I also have to see my therapist today and it's pretty hot - wish I could just stay home.


----------



## gthopia94

Antsy & Anticipatory at the same time.


----------



## hayes

In pain. I have a fractured tailbone.


----------



## funnynihilist

Burke Devlin was here


----------



## CNikki

In one word - tired.

Between having to deal with certain situations that put me in a very uncomfortable spot, barely hanging on when having to do everyday tasks, and trying desperately to seek help but all seems to fail, the least I need right now is to sleep.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Alone.


----------



## jfruedam

Like ****. I wish I didn't have romantic feelings for anyone, but I can't turn my heart off, I don't have that power. She crushes me with her sole presence.


----------



## loneranger

jfruedam said:


> Like ****. I wish I didn't have romantic feelings for anyone, but I can't turn my heart off, I don't have that power. She crushes me with her sole presence.


Sorry to hear that, sir.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J120AZ using Tapatalk


----------



## Skygrinder

Actually, after joining yesterday and going through a bunch of threads reading, I went from feeling pretty crappy to just having this neutral feeling. I know what I need to do and I'm trying hard to prepare myself mentally for tomorrow.


----------



## purplereign722

Skygrinder said:


> Actually, after joining yesterday and going through a bunch of threads reading, I went from feeling pretty crappy to just having this neutral feeling. I know what I need to do and I'm trying hard to prepare myself mentally for tomorrow.


This place makes you feel not so bad, because we are just like you

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## Skygrinder

Yeah, I wasn't really expecting immediate relief. It was a nice surprise.


----------



## purplereign722

Skygrinder said:


> Yeah, I wasn't really expecting immediate relief. It was a nice surprise.


Glad you're here ☺

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## Replicante

In fever.


----------



## Sus y

Had to go to a school days ago and now I feel a bit sick Y_Y, I need to be away of every single kid on earth for a month or so, they are so dangerous , getting people sick. WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHYYYYYYYYYY!!


----------



## purplereign722

Sus y said:


> Had to go to a school days ago and now I feel a bit sick Y_Y, I need to be away of every single kid on earth for a month or so, they are so dangerous , getting people sick. WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHYYYYYYYYYY!!


Lol

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bloody bored

Roll on tomorrow when I can stuff myself rotten at Worcesters Victorian Christmas Fayre, and roll on Aldo vs Holloway 2.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Sus y said:


> Had to go to a school days ago and now I feel a bit sick Y_Y, I need to be away of every single kid on earth for a month or so, they are so dangerous , getting people sick. WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHYYYYYYYYYY!!


I never thought you could get a cold in South America, or bunny rabbits and snow either. Hmm


----------



## Chris S W

Concerned.


----------



## purplereign722

Chris S W said:


> Concerned.


What are you concerned about?

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## Chris S W

purplereign722 said:


> What are you concerned about


It turned out to be nothing. Thanks for asking though


----------



## purplereign722

Chris S W said:


> It turned out to be nothing. Thanks for asking though


Sorry if i was intrusive.

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## CNikki

Defeated. I'd rather die than to cave in to what was expected for far too long. It might just happen.


----------



## Chris S W

purplereign722 said:


> Sorry if i was intrusive.
> 
> Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


No, not at all. You can ask me any question and I won't consider it intrusive; I don't have to answer, after all. But there are some questions which I'll feel more inclined to answer more accurately as a PM . And I didn't think you would be interested in what I was concerned about after it turned out to be a false alarm anyway, if that's what prompted your apology.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Chris, you didn't think you were almost 40 for a moment did you? lol


----------



## Chris S W

Pete Beale said:


> Chris, you didn't think you were almost 40 for a moment did you? lol


No, my head would need to be smashed up terribly to be that far off, lol. Thankfully I'm not quite that bad. Although maybe it could happen if I have a bad dream.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Chris S W said:


> No, my head would need to be smashed up terribly to be that far off, lol. Thankfully I'm not quite that bad. Although maybe it could happen if I have a bad dream.


I shall be waking up and living the nightmare soon enough. >


----------



## Chris S W

Pete Beale said:


> I shall be waking up and living the nightmare soon enough. >


So you're 39? Well, they say life begins at 40 so maybe it isn't so bad.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Chris S W said:


> So you're 39? Well, they say life begins at 40 so maybe it isn't so bad.


Yep. :blush

We shall see mate. I highly ****ing doubt it, but maybe it's true!?:Olol


----------



## Chris S W

Pete Beale said:


> Yep. :blush
> 
> We shall see mate. I highly ****ing doubt it, but maybe it's true!?:Olol


lol, I hope it's true. Would be something to look forward to.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Chris S W said:


> lol, I hope it's true. Would be something to look forward to.


That's what I'm telling myself. It's something to look forward to. lol

Hopefully I'm not here this time next year saying, nope, it DOES NOT begin at 40. It was all bollockssssssssss lol


----------



## Chris S W

Pete Beale said:


> That's what I'm telling myself. It's something to look forward to. lol
> 
> Hopefully I'm not here this time next year saying, nope, it DOES NOT begin at 40. It was all bollockssssssssss lol


lol, I hope not. I'll know what to do if you are.


----------



## Sus y

Pete Beale said:


> I never thought you could get a cold in South America, or bunny rabbits and snow either. Hmm


LOL. There's about everything around, you would be surprised, although where I am from is more tropical than some other countries where can snow kind of rarely, where I am from will only do in just one point of the country during some days of one month of the year and it's like a huge show, you can see a long lines of cars going to the snow point and people all excited in the traffic lol, it's funny .


----------



## llodell88

tired, was up too late last night.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored, sad, and lonely.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Headache, fever, tight chest, pre-cough cough, exhaustion, depression, shame


----------



## SofaKing

Abandoned. I just know it.


----------



## Lohikaarme




----------



## Dornish Red

Been crying all day


----------



## discoveryother

ready to get out of here and go on an adventure


----------



## Skygrinder

A bit annoyed.

I should be doing my initial tests for some workout programs that I found online, like this http://hundredpushups.com/test.html

I have them all opened in my browser, notepad ready to write down what I'll need to do the following days after checking the results of the tests.

I made space in my room, I stand up...and then I just stand. I am quite capable physically to do pushups and everything else for these initial tests, but...my body just refuses to move. ****ing crippling depression.

Gonna watch some Shia LaBeouf "Just do it" motivational speech, maybe it actually works, since that's all I need to do. Just drop on all fours and go for it - Just do it! D:


----------



## catcharay

On weekends, it's weird I get depressed a little? It only happened recently

Sent from my TA-1024 using Tapatalk


----------



## DistraughtOwl

Got addicted to Persona 5 and now my sleeping schedule is ruined again. So not so great. Also my brother has ignored a text message I sent him like a week ago and won't go to the gym with me.


----------



## Sus y

:no :cry


----------



## llodell88

irritable and anxious. hopefully just pms, took some lexapro, hadn't take any in a week, feel worse, i need to stop eating candy, sitting here thinking a salad sounds really good and all i have is candy.


----------



## tea111red

but i think it's starting to show?


----------



## llodell88

i ate some vegetable and xanax. feeling a lot better.


----------



## Jeff271

about ready to pass out, sleepy but fighting it.


----------



## komorikun

Bit of a headache. Not sure if it's due to my screwed up sleep or the 2 apple ciders I had last night. My sleep is often disturbed/restless for some reason. I wake up in the middle of the night or early morning multiple times and end up reading SAS or reddit on my phone in the dark. Takes forever to soothe myself back to sleep. 

God help me to wake up early tomorrow. I really need to get some serious shopping done and waking up at noon and leaving the house at 3pm is too late.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Still I’ll, not as bad as last night but far from free & clear


----------



## Fomorian

A bit giddy, from lack of sleep I think.


----------



## DSusan

Feel so good today, can't describe my happiness in words


----------



## Chris S W

So tired. Which is annoying because there were things I wanted to do today.


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

cramps.

plus, for once in my life, someone is letting me sit back and relax and not have to work..

Scares me half to death, and i feel guilty as hell..


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I feel alone as ****.


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

i need to avoid this guy at the gym now.

He's very kind, and very respectful? At first, he said, he felt bad that i get hit on or harassed by gym members a lot. He also said he would do what he could to "protect me" or speak up if he saw it happening.

But over time, i realized he lied. He wants to be seen with me, yet keep the friendships, and play the social butterfly.

It bothers me, when he says: "I feel like a celebrity since i've known you. Everyone is asking me about you, and want me to introduce you to them."

I stood there with his hands on his hips looking around at the guys with a huge smile on his face when he said this. 

It kind of pissed me off..


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely, like I do every night.


----------



## llodell88

irritated i cant make a thread


----------



## thislittlekat

Empty and sad

Sent from my SM-T550 using Tapatalk


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Feeling tired. 4 am, I should be sleeping and dreaming of a better life, that I can't have in my real one.


----------



## loneranger

LoganAnomaly said:


> Feeling tired. 4 am, I should be sleeping and dreaming of a better life, that I can't have in my real one.


In the same exact boat at this moment.


----------



## purplereign722

Sad and lonely 


Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Not well


----------



## purplereign722

Canadian Brotha said:


> Not well


Hope you feel better 

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## SplendidBob

Antsy / agitated / empty / lonely. Possibly even slightly paranoid, or possibly not.


----------



## purplereign722

Graham Will Never Stop said:


> Antsy / agitated / empty / lonely. Possibly even slightly paranoid, or possibly not.


I'm here if you want 2 talk, u I'm feeling the same way

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## llodell88

could i get more energy, enough to watch tv at least


----------



## purplereign722

Anyone wanna talk?

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## The Library of Emma

I would easily trade the ability to ever carry a child for an abdomen that doesn't go into bouts of pain. I am grateful this is not a workday. This morning started some intense cramps, and I dry-heaved twice. Thankfully that was not long lasted, I was finally able to eat something this afternoon.
Apologies to everyone for the rather unpleasant topic.


----------



## loneranger

I feel like hugging another man. I never had any brothers or a father.


----------



## purplereign722

Girl Without a Shadow said:


> I would easily trade the ability to ever carry a child for an abdomen that doesn't go into bouts of pain. I am grateful this is not a workday. This morning started some intense cramps, and I dry-heaved twice. Thankfully that was not long lasted, I was finally able to eat something this afternoon.
> Apologies to everyone for the rather unpleasant topic.


I get it like that 2, its awful

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@purplereign722

 :hug

Chin up. 

When I feel sad and lonely I watch Les Twins, as always seem to have a positive, upbeat attitude -






@Canadian Brotha



Try walking outside and go for a walk (to the ends of the property and back). See if you feel better after doing that mate.

@loneranger


----------



## purplereign722

ANX1 said:


> @purplereign722
> 
> :hug
> 
> Chin up.
> 
> When I feel sad and lonely I watch Les Twins, as always seem to have a positive, upbeat attitude -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> @Canadian Brotha
> 
> 
> 
> Try walking outside and go for a walk (to the ends of the property and back). See if you feel better after doing that mate.
> 
> @loneranger


I love the les twins

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

purplereign722 said:


> I love the les twins
> 
> Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


They are awesome dancers. Very mime style of dancing (story to their dance) if watch some of their dances when back home in France.


----------



## purplereign722

ANX1 said:


> They are awesome dancers. Very mime style of dancing (story to their dance) if watch some of their dances when back home in France.


Yes, they are quite amazing. You're from France?

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

purplereign722 said:


> Yes, they are quite amazing. You're from France?
> 
> Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


I mean when the twins are back home in France -






Salah vs les twins are the most interesting dances.

I believe Salah has a similar style of dance. But Salah is so confident in his dancing which can put the twins off at times.


----------



## purplereign722

ANX1 said:


> I mean when the twins are back home in France -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Salah vs les twins are the most interesting dances.
> 
> I believe Salah has a similar style of dance. But Salah is so confident in his dancing which can put the twins off at times.


Thanks that was a cool video. I really like the music he was dancing 2

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## wmu'14

Really good right now!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

purplereign722 said:


> Thanks that was a cool video. I really like the music he was dancing 2
> 
> Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


You're welcome. 

It is cool music.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel good, and relaxed, loved. And my feet feel great too.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> I feel good, and relaxed, loved. And my feet feel great too.


I hate him! I was willing to fly all the way over their to massage your feet! THAT ******* @SofaKing! :crying:

Seriously though, well done to both of you! :grin2:


----------



## EarthDominator

I feel somewhat better, my previous intentions are gone but the problems are still around me. Nevertheless, I'm eager to keep fighting.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Crisigv said:


> I feel good, and relaxed, loved. And my feet feel great too.





Pete Beale said:


> I hate him! I was willing to fly all the way over their to massage your feet! THAT ******* @SofaKing! :crying:
> 
> Seriously though, well done to both of you! :grin2:


 @SofaKing Did you guys meet up? Cool


----------



## Lohikaarme

EarthDominator said:


> I feel somewhat better, my previous intentions are gone but the problems are still around me. Nevertheless, I'm eager to keep fighting.


:yes:hug


----------



## Kevin001

Kinda sick hope its just temporarily.


----------



## greentea33

Even more lonely than usual....i could cry.


----------



## Crisigv

Pete Beale said:


> I hate him! I was willing to fly all the way over their to massage your feet! THAT ******* @SofaKing! :crying:
> 
> Seriously though, well done to both of you! :grin2:





Lohikaarme said:


> @SofaKing Did you guys meet up? Cool


Well, it wasn't our first time meeting each other. But, it was a nice day.


----------



## llodell88

bored, the usual


----------



## loneranger

Anxious. I have my first doctor visit with my new doctor tommorrow. My last two doctors didn't help me much and payed them a lot for really nothing. Hopefully this one is good and can help me with my current major issue and some counseling.


----------



## Lostbeauties

I really don't feel anything except boredom, like Rapunzel says in Tangled, 'When will my life begin?'. I ask myself that every day.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired and a little bit lonely...

I am thinking about her again. :sigh


----------



## waterfairy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Tired and a little bit lonely...
> 
> I am thinking about her again. :sigh


 :squeeze Are you guys ok?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

waterfairy said:


> :squeeze Are you guys ok?


I guess so, it is just that she and her parents are going to be moving away soon to a new city.

It is a little over an hour away by car or three hours by train. By bus it is five hours away.

We had a little chat about this a few days ago. We are going to wait until she and her parents are settled before moving on.

If we can compromise and make this work I would be more than willing to do so. Neither of us drive due to our disabilities so it would be hard.

Still, I am kinda scared about losing her and never seeing her again. :crying:


----------



## waterfairy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I guess so, it is just that she and her parents are going to be moving away soon to a new city.
> 
> It is a little over an hour away by car or three hours by train. By bus it is five hours away.
> 
> We had a little chat about this a few days ago. We are going to wait until she and her parents are settled before moving on.
> 
> If we can compromise and make this work I would be more than willing to do so. Neither of us drive due to our disabilities so it would be hard.
> 
> Still, I am kinda scared about losing her and never seeing her again. :crying:


 I really hope you guys can sort things out. Long-distance relationships are hard, but you can definitely make it work if you are both willing. Keep us updated, ok? :hug


----------



## tea111red

nothing to look forward to anymore. ugh. 

i just have to rot in this place for who knows how long.


----------



## Skygrinder

Liberated, focused. After a little kinda breakdown and crying, then calming down. Over here http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/what-s-your-motivation-to-live-2118986/


----------



## elsaqueen

purplereign722 said:


> @purplereign722
> 
> Chin up.
> 
> When I feel sad and lonely I watch Les Twins, as always seem to have a positive, upbeat attitude -
> 
> youtube link*
> 
> @Canadian Brotha
> 
> Try walking outside and go for a walk (to the ends of the property and back). See if you feel better after doing that mate.
> 
> @loneranger


This is one of my favorite workshops. They are damn great. Watch the video at 1.5x, You'll understand why they are one of the best.


----------



## tea111red

....


----------



## EarthDominator

Tired, really tired. Plus a bit sad, since I'm going to be less online on SAS throughout the week.


----------



## tea111red

still angry these *******s at work made me unable to see this guy ever again. i never knew how to ask for his contact info or how to be more friendly w/ him. i doubted they really were interested in having anything to do with me a lot, but i think they did want contact. i do think i saw signs of this several times, but this stupid doubt i felt and me feeling bad about myself always got in the way. arrrrrrrrrghhhhhhh. 


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i wish i could see him again.

i don't even know how i'll ever get an opportunity like this again. this was really rare. it's all been ruined.

the person that could help a lot to let me see him again won't even speak to me now for whatever reason!!!! ugh.


----------



## Eternal Solitude

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I guess so, it is just that she and her parents are going to be moving away soon to a new city.
> 
> It is a little over an hour away by car or three hours by train. By bus it is five hours away.
> 
> We had a little chat about this a few days ago. We are going to wait until she and her parents are settled before moving on.
> 
> If we can compromise and make this work I would be more than willing to do so. Neither of us drive due to our disabilities so it would be hard.
> 
> Still, I am kinda scared about losing her and never seeing her again. :crying:


That sucks brah! I wish you both the best. We'll be here for you :group

I simply feel like ****. Both physically and mentally. My body temperature fluctuates from feeling burning hot to freezing cold . I can't think straight . I can't concentrate. Rushing thoughts and uninvited feelings come out of nowhere and penetrate my mind like the roaches in my avatar. No sense of balance. Can't focus. No goals. No Hope...

I literally sat for 3 hours staring blankly into my computer screen. Didn't get anything done. To alleviate some of my stress I went to EBAY and looked at Star Wars action figures for 3 hours. But here is the thing:

I don't even like Star Wars ! :eyes How could I look at something that I find so dull for such an extended period of time? Have I hit rock bottom?

I then talked to my supervisor about leaving early, but got the pep talk about my recent erratic work schedule. I was assured that I wasn't in trouble but it kind of bothered me. I don't want to lose my job and livelihood but at the same time I don't feel like working anymore.

To make matters worse there are people who I recently met that seemed nice at first, but based on recent interactions it appears that I was wrong in making such assumptions.

I don't know how to pull my **** together at this point. I wish I could shut down from reality.


----------



## loneranger

Depressed. I went to the doctor and they prescribed me the same meds that don't work even after I had already told them about it.


----------



## alienbird

Anxious about tomorrow.


----------



## loneranger

Depressed. Doctor visit sucked.


----------



## EarthDominator

I feel crappy, I don't know the reason, I can't tell if it's physical or mental (maybe even both). I just feel crappy...and lonely.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Not good. Not good at all.


----------



## EarthDominator

Really, really sad. I want to leave my internship, and I cry. But I can't sadly.


----------



## purplereign722

Anxious, sad and lonely.

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@purplereign722

 :hug


----------



## purplereign722

ANX1 said:


> @purplereign722
> 
> :hug


Thanks ☺

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## Mondo_Fernando

purplereign722 said:


> Thanks ☺
> 
> Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


You're welcome.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Stomach ache. Depressed. Lonely.


----------



## tea111red

like playing the slots and probably wasting some dollars.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SamanthaStrange

 :hug

@tea111red

 :hug


----------



## purplereign722

Depressed, just paid bills .

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


----------



## thenewwave1111

feeling much better


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

purplereign722 said:


> Depressed, just paid bills .
> 
> Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk


 :hug

Chin up.


----------



## purplereign722

ANX1 said:


> :hug
> 
> Chin up.


Too many bills ugh
Thanks for the hug.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Alone, Isolated. Connected online, but disconnected from real life with no friends to talk to.


----------



## MusicAndNature FTW

I'm not proud of this, but after the day I've had I just feel angry and nihilistic about the world and people in general.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

purplereign722 said:


> Too many bills ugh
> Thanks for the hug.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


You're welcome. 

Can relate to that.


----------



## purplereign722

ANX1 said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> Can relate to that.


☺

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

purplereign722 said:


> ☺
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## tea111red

i wish i could see this person again, but probably never will.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> i wish i could see this person again, but probably never will.


I hope you see whoever this person is.


----------



## Ashli Danielle

Embarrassed, irritated, tired and lonely.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Scrub-Zero said:


> Alone, Isolated. Connected online, but disconnected from real life with no friends to talk to.


Same. :squeeze


----------



## SplendidBob

SamanthaStrange said:


> Same. :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Splendid, Graham.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I've got nothing positive to say, so I'll keep it shut.


----------



## CNikki

Irrelevant. Nothing new, but some times it gets me more than others.


----------



## Crisigv

I can feel the dark cloud returning.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Pete Beale

Ok. 

@CNikki

 :hug

@Crisigv

:hug

Turns the fan on to blow the cloud away from you.  :grin2:


----------



## SofaKing

Crisigv said:


> I can feel the dark cloud returning.


:hugs


----------



## Kevin001

Still sick so yeah


----------



## SofaKing

Fed up with the game of life. Really bitter starting my work day. I never wanted to be one of the sheep. Here I am. Baaaaahhh.


----------



## Crisigv

SofaKing said:


> :hugs





SofaKing said:


> Fed up with the game of life. Really bitter starting my work day. I never wanted to be one of the sheep. Here I am. Baaaaahhh.


I'm sorry :hug


----------



## Deaf Mute

The best invention, when are we getting it?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Kevin001 said:


> Still sick so yeah


If had it longer than two days you might actually have the flu. Colds are said to be for two days or so.

If the flu, constant temperature, vitamin C helps to get rid of it quicker.

Might take a week or more to fully recover.


----------



## Kevin001

ANX1 said:


> If had it longer than two days you might actually have the flu. Colds are said to be for two days or so.
> 
> If the flu, constant temperature, vitamin C helps to get rid of it quicker.
> 
> Might take a week or more to fully recover.


Oh no my immune system sucks....all my colds last longer than most.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Kevin001 said:


> Oh no my immune system sucks....all my colds last longer than most.


Oh, ok.


----------



## loneranger

We got it!!


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> I hope you see whoever this person is.


i don't know....maybe i don't care about seeing that person again (as of right now anyway). the situation seems pretty much hopeless so i feel like i should make more of an effort to move on.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

We've got more than that here @loneranger, and it's supposed to continue over the weekend and get worse on sunday.

Was over 5 years ago since we had the last lot of snow.

It's shame I've got no one to play in the snow with lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> i don't know....maybe i don't care about seeing that person again (as of right now anyway). the situation seems pretty much hopeless so i feel like i should make more of an effort to move on.


Aww. :hug


----------



## SofaKing

I'm ready to disappear into the woods, live until the money runs out, and be done.

All the rest is bulls...


----------



## Kevin001

Anxious and still sick


----------



## discoveryother

so tired. way too much sun today.

the caravan smells like something between mould and fire


----------



## tea111red

it's really painful being alive.


----------



## purplereign722

tea111red said:


> it's really painful being alive.


 I'm sorry you're feeling that way.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## noydb

Disgustingly hideous. Temporarily thought I was at least average looking but I'm back to being self-aware.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

I'm dreading what I have to do sooner or later. I'm gambling and my heart is on the line.


----------



## Deaf Mute

****, just end me. I don't want to do two trashy shifts tomorrow at difference places... I don't want to be here. I'm already hungry now again and I have to go to bed to wake up early for a **** day. ****. 

Membership next year better be worth it, or I'm gonna break down probably. Ugh, I have to be around upper class snobs who don't even have to work and have the best gear and education, and life and are healthy. I don't know why I even auditioned, I'm never going to be like them. I can't even fight on the same level. 

I don't want to be here, I don't want to be here, I don't want to be here, I don't want to be here, I don't want to be here. 

It hurts so ****ing much to be alive, I hate being so sensitive too, what is that helping? I'm a ****ing human slave for godsake, just make me numb so I can pass by.


----------



## loneranger

Deaf Mute said:


> ****, just end me. I don't want to do two trashy shifts tomorrow at difference places... I don't want to be here. I'm already hungry now again and I have to go to bed to wake up early for a **** day. ****.
> 
> Membership next year better be worth it, or I'm gonna break down probably. Ugh, I have to be around upper class snobs who don't even have to work and have the best gear and education, and life and are healthy. I don't know why I even auditioned, I'm never going to be like them. I can't even fight on the same level.
> 
> I don't want to be here, I don't want to be here, I don't want to be here, I don't want to be here, I don't want to be here.
> 
> It hurts so ****ing much to be alive, I hate being so sensitive too, what is that helping? I'm a ****ing human slave for godsake, just make me numb so I can pass by.


Big hug.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Grumpy, and cold. :bah


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Embarrassed about the girl at work asking me to do something and she said something about moving the belt and I was so preoccupied that I literally thought she meant my belt on my pants. I'm a ****ing idiot sometimes. :con:flush I'll get over it. Just a major fail that was.


----------



## Kevin001

A little better, nose acting better.


----------



## funnynihilist

Bored as usual


----------



## cinto

Wondering if there's more blue moon somewhere.


----------



## Chevy396

I would pay top dollar for a nice deep tissue thigh massage right now. Those squats I did yesterday are kicking my ***. I can't sleep because of it. It feels kind of like what I'd imagine a phantom limb would feel like. Lucky I have kratom to take, but it still sucks. I'm taking solace in the thought that they might double in size after they heal.


----------



## Kevin001

Got a headache


----------



## Crisigv

Tired


----------



## tea111red

purplereign722 said:


> I'm sorry you're feeling that way.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


thank you for your msg.


----------



## purplereign722

tea111red said:


> thank you for your msg.


Hope you feel better 

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## funnynihilist

Borny


----------



## purplereign722

funnynihilist said:


> Borny


What's that?

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## funnynihilist

purplereign722 said:


> What's that?
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


Guess...


----------



## purplereign722

funnynihilist said:


> Guess...


Lolololol

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## purplereign722

purplereign722 said:


> Lolololol
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


Thanks for that, my first smile today

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## SASer213504

like an idiot


----------



## funnynihilist

purplereign722 said:


> Thanks for that, my first smile today
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## twistix

Lonely


----------



## loneranger

Lonely


----------



## catcharay

Alone.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Unwell, physically and emotionally.


----------



## webs

Like a nervous breakdown is waiting around the corner


----------



## purplereign722

Meh and uninterested.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Between a rock and a hard place.


----------



## loneranger

Alone. Wishing I had a brother.


----------



## Kevin001

Much better....about to work out


----------



## tehuti88

Amazed that that troll finally got banned. :wtf

Annoyed that I think I've seen his newest account already.


ETA...the account in question just bumped one of his threads. :roll If it's him, this time I ID'ed him from a single post.


----------



## 8888

Fed up with life.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Feeling kind of charged up after that workout.


----------



## 8888

Annoyed


----------



## caelle

I'm feeling bad. Over-thinking.


----------



## purplereign722

caelle said:


> I'm feeling bad. Over-thinking.


I hope you feel
Hug

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## purplereign722

purplereign722 said:


> I hope you feel
> Hug
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


Better

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

Cold


----------



## nerdshade

I'm so exhausted. I haven't been able to sleep in days. Hopefully my brain will shut off eventually.


----------



## loneranger

Lonely


----------



## ShadowOne

eh. been better. been worse


----------



## anxietyconquerer

Great. I feel like when your brain goes haywire and starts getting anxious. A change of environment does the trick. Go for a burst walk around the neighbourhood or drive somewhere else new environment.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed. Lonely. Unwanted.


----------



## twistix

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed. Lonely. Unwanted.


:squeeze


----------



## tea111red

i'm glad this person liked what i had to say about them.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely


----------



## Sus y

A bit like:


----------



## Kevin001

Not sure...acne flaring....I'm tired....work stress.....baptism coming up......eek.


----------



## love is like a dream

when you are heavily immersed in sadness, gradually your brain adapts and starts to reward (it creates happiness out of sadness).


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed. Lonely. Unwanted.


Same.

Tired of it all. :frown2:


----------



## purplereign722

Very anxious, long day ahead of me sigh

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## Kevin001

Meh ok I guess, still early though.


----------



## funnynihilist

Like there is nothing left for me in this world.


----------



## 8888

I'm feeling so so. Kind of bored but having a hard time getting myself to be productive. Going to wash my hair later so at least I can feel I did something.


----------



## EarthDominator

Confused on how about I feel. I'm happy because there is a tiny light on the horizon, which I may be able to reach, away from the darkness I'm currently in. But, the road to it is dangerous, which scares me because the majority of it is unknown territory, and it will be a long road as well, maybe even deadly. 

But if I reach it in the end, it'll be worth it. And I can tell everyone, I overcame the darkest era of my life.


----------



## Rebootplease

I cant feel anything. Its too cold


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Feeling like I will have to shovel again today. Who needs a gym when you have two driveways with 30 centimeters of snow to shovel.


----------



## Lyyli

Ill and weak


----------



## tea111red

f u g 

l
y
.


----------



## Scaptain

Depressed and bitter.


----------



## loneranger

With anxiety


----------



## 8888

Sad and confused.


----------



## Scaptain

Like my time is up.


----------



## Darthsidious

Feeling good.


----------



## purplereign722

Wishing this day would be over already, sigh 

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

Not so good


----------



## tea111red

i want to see this person again.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Not so good


 :hug



tea111red said:


> i want to see this person again.


You and me both! :sigh


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Upset. The manager at work told me I need more training and sent me home three hours early. You don't get sent home that early from work if nothing bad happens. Two days of training isn't enough for me to learn everything anyways. It's ten times harder than I thought it would be. That was just less money for me. I need an easier job. This isn't cutting it for me. My anxiety is bad. Even worse is I come home from work just to hear that there's no excuses for what I did at work. **** that.


----------



## EarthDominator

Soulless.


----------



## funnynihilist

Well I ate a lot of beans today. Not even joking. It's not good, not good at all.


----------



## purplereign722

funnynihilist said:


> Well I ate a lot of beans today. Not even joking. It's not good, not good at all.


Heard they're good for your heart.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## funnynihilist

purplereign722 said:


> Heard they're good for your heart.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


But they ain't good for ya in other ways hehe


----------



## 8888

Conflicted


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I'm feeling good. Somewhat positive too.
I'm hoping this day won't get screwed by my depression acting up. It's especially bad in the morning and at night. Rather stable in between.


----------



## SASer213504

Good


----------



## Scaptain

Lonely and depressed.


----------



## twistix

Lonely


----------



## thislittlekat

Lonely and suicidal. 

Sent from my N9560 using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired of everything. 

Lonely.


----------



## purplereign722

thislittlekat said:


> Lonely and suicidal.
> 
> Sent from my N9560 using Tapatalk


Hello

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## purplereign722

twistix said:


> Lonely


Hey

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## thislittlekat

Hello

Sent from my N9560 using Tapatalk


----------



## funnynihilist

Hi


----------



## purplereign722

thislittlekat said:


> Hello
> 
> Sent from my N9560 using Tapatalk


What ya doing☺

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## purplereign722

funnynihilist said:


> Hi


Hey

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## thislittlekat

purplereign722 said:


> What ya doing☺
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


Writing a poem, you?

Sent from my N9560 using Tapatalk


----------



## funnynihilist

purplereign722 said:


> Hey
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


Hello


----------



## purplereign722

funnynihilist said:


> Hello


Hru

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## funnynihilist

purplereign722 said:


> Hru
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


Fin, u?


----------



## Scaptain

Defeated and ashamed of myself.


----------



## purplereign722

funnynihilist said:


> Fin, u?


I'm swell thanks

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## purplereign722

thislittlekat said:


> Writing a poem, you?
> 
> Sent from my N9560 using Tapatalk


Playing video games

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## SunshineSam218

I'm feeling okay right now. Better than yesterday which is a plus.


----------



## purplereign722

Gentleheart_Flower said:


> I'm feeling okay right now. Better than yesterday which is a plus.


Good to hear, hope each day gets better and better for you ☺

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## SunshineSam218

purplereign722 said:


> Good to hear, hope each day gets better and better for you ☺
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


Thank you for saying that to me. :grin2:

It's always nice when people reach out to others. I hope things are good for you.

Feel free to talk to me anytime.


----------



## purplereign722

Gentleheart_Flower said:


> Thank you for saying that to me. :grin2:
> 
> It's always nice when people reach out to others. I hope things are good for you.
> 
> Feel free to talk to me anytime.


Thanks, will do. ☺

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

I'm in so much pain. And I'm feeling sad.


----------



## Rickets

I'm quite happy, and relieved. I have finally stopped taking medication I had been on since 2006 for Crohn's. It was a oral chemotherapy drug. Onward and upward!


----------



## purplereign722

Rickets said:


> I'm quite happy, and relieved. I have finally stopped taking medication I had been on since 2006 for Crohn's. It was a oral chemotherapy drug. Onward and upward!


Congrats

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## Rickets

purplereign722 said:


> Congrats
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


Thank you. How are you?


----------



## purplereign722

Rickets said:


> Thank you. How are you?


I'm doing ok, hopefully I can have a good day.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A bit worried about something. :/


----------



## discoveryother

a bit lost. all alone. my efforts seldom give any rewards, and sometimes they hurt me.


----------



## tea111red

so bored and suffocated.


----------



## Kevin001

Ok. Mom wants me there at the hospital for her surgery Wednesday I hesitated but then was like ok....its not about me I'll be there.


----------



## gthopia94

Like **** as usual, nothing changes.


----------



## Jeff271

Wish I could hibernate till Spring.


----------



## twistix

Kevin001 said:


> Ok. Mom wants me there at the hospital for her surgery Wednesday I hesitated but then was like ok....its not about me I'll be there.


Best wishes to your mother


----------



## tea111red

like i'm going to die from depression.


----------



## twistix

tea111red said:


> like i'm going to die from depression.


:squeeze


----------



## purplereign722

tea111red said:


> like i'm going to die from depression.


Stay strong, hug

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## Kevin001

twistix said:


> Best wishes to your mother


Thank you you're so sweet.


----------



## tea111red

twistix said:


> :squeeze





purplereign722 said:


> Stay strong, hug
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


thank you to both of you for your posts.


----------



## harrison

Bored and quite hot.


----------



## Chevy396

Ready


----------



## loneranger

I'm still awake(overnight here now) and I have to be at work early in the morning.


----------



## Ksenona

Excellent.


----------



## Kevin001

Meh. I won't get much sleep have to leave super early tomorrow morning for mom's surgery....hrs waiting in waiting room but hey its worth it.


----------



## Sus y

Kevin001 said:


> Meh. I won't get much sleep have to leave super early tomorrow morning for mom's surgery....hrs waiting in waiting room but hey its worth it.


Hope all goes well with her.


----------



## whatislife13

weird. I been living on the internet listening black rappers lol..cause there`s nothing to do in my city ,everything other ppl find interesting boring to me also i fd my brain up big time by watching lots of porn (i feel like) i mean i tried to shake it(dopamine etc.) like i can cause everyday life was something hard to cop and now i`m feeling like starting all over like a rehab or something it`s really hard to find friends when u a weirdo like that .. 26 from ukraine


----------



## Kevin001

Sus y said:


> Hope all goes well with her.


Thanks


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Off kilter


----------



## discoveryother

lonely. increasingly avoidant. spending more and more time in my room. video game addiction is back, 2 days now. paranoia is up 50%. contentedness is down 50%.

broke off contact with the girl i was chatting with. she was only out to distract herself from her anxiety. didn't care about my feelings. betrayed.


----------



## purplereign722

I was doing ok until this headache came along, now I'm feeling depressed 

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## purplereign722

andy1984thesecond said:


> lonely. increasingly avoidant. spending more and more time in my room. video game addiction is back, 2 days now. paranoia is up 50%. contentedness is down 50%.
> 
> broke off contact with the girl i was chatting with. she was only out to distract herself from her anxiety. didn't care about my feelings. betrayed.


Sorry to hear you're going through so much I hope you feel better soon. 
PS I'm not doing well with my video game addiction over been on three days straight, haven't been outside at all smh

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## EarthDominator

It has come to a point where I don't feel alive anymore. I'm not thirsty, I'm not hungry, nothing. I always said that I look like a monster, which is still true. But, I think my own body is changing into one, because I can't solve my problems, and it's only getting worse. :sigh


----------



## discoveryother

purplereign722 said:


> Sorry to hear you're going through so much I hope you feel better soon.
> PS I'm not doing well with my video game addiction over been on three days straight, haven't been outside at all smh
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


thanks. i hope you're feeling better too.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mad. I can't stand people that like to joke around constantly making lame jokes and telling me to say this, say that. And nagging me and nagging me. Then telling me I get annoyed easily. Maybe because I don't want someone nagging at me and won't shutup about it and have a real conversation. Then, I forget important things because of the nagging. People like that will just melt your brain.


----------



## purplereign722

I'm feeling like it's time to just give up, why bother with all this unnecessary and childish b.s.. I'm just completely over it. 

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## tea111red

i planned to sleep all day to deal with my sadness and these stupid tormenting thoughts (even in my sleep i couldn't escape feeling tormented today, though), but i got woken up too much and got thinking too much. now i feel like i have to get up. :no

still continuing this cycle of having messed up hrs, too......


----------



## purplereign722

tea111red said:


> i planned to sleep all day to deal with my sadness and these stupid tormenting thoughts (even in my sleep i couldn't escape feeling tormented, though), but i got woken up too much and got thinking too much. now i feel like i have to get up. :no
> 
> still continuing this cycle of having messed up hrs, too......


Feeling the same way, today has been horrible. Hopefully tomorrow won't be so rough.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## mysticpanda

very sleepy


----------



## CNikki

Just waiting for tomorrow to come. That's all I will say.


----------



## CNikki

purplereign722 said:


> I'm feeling like it's time to just give up, why bother with all this unnecessary and childish b.s.. I'm just completely over it.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


You took the words right out of my head, to be honest.


----------



## purplereign722

CNikki said:


> You took the words right out of my head, to be honest.


Today is horrible, Idk if it's because the holidays are coming or what. 
I just feel terrible and I want to go to sleep for as long as I can

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## purplereign722

Here comes the water works, sleep come soon please

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## CNikki

purplereign722 said:


> Today is horrible, Idk if it's because the holidays are coming or what.
> I just feel terrible and I want to go to sleep for as long as I can
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


I hear you on that, too. Life has taken its toll on me (again) and I've reached a completely new low. I should know better. I should've walked away the minute I knew something was wrong.

I'm anticipating on tomorrow because I'm visiting my doctor and telling him everything. If I have to go to the hospital, so be it. I'm not going to get into trouble over irrelevances. Almost have on different occasions and I am not caving in now. I'm still young. That's the only excuse I have since I've lost just about everything else.


----------



## purplereign722

CNikki said:


> I hear you on that, too. Life has taken its toll on me (again) and I've reached a completely new low. I should know better. I should've walked away the minute I knew something was wrong.
> 
> I'm anticipating on tomorrow because I'm visiting my doctor and telling him everything. If I have to go to the hospital, so be it. I'm not going to get into trouble over irrelevances. I'm still young. That's the only excuse I have since I've lost just about everything else.


It's hard to walk away sometimes. Just wish I didn't allow people to make me feel so bad.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## tea111red

purplereign722 said:


> Feeling the same way, today has been horrible. Hopefully tomorrow won't be so rough.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


yeah.....not every day is so terrible......you are right. i've been trying to think about the days where i felt so terrible and ready to go home and end things, then things turned around and were good again . this cycle, though......it's still tough dealing w/.


----------



## purplereign722

tea111red said:


> yeah.....not every day is so terrible......you are right. i've been trying to think about the days where i felt so terrible and ready to go home and end things, then things turned around and were good again . this cycle, though......it's still tough dealing w/.


 Very true

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## CNikki

purplereign722 said:


> It's hard to walk away sometimes. Just wish I didn't allow people to make me feel so bad.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


Me neither. I would either distance myself so much so that there's no chance OR I let them in and take everything that I offer. I'm stupid like that.

Listen, if you want to discuss things my PM is open. I don't need to spill my pathetic life story on a public forum where I know some folks are listening.


----------



## purplereign722

CNikki said:


> Me neither. I would either distance myself so much so that there's no chance OR I let them in and take everything that I offer. I'm stupid like that.
> 
> Listen, if you want to discuss things my PM is open. I don't need to spill my pathetic life story on a public forum where I know some folks are listening.


Ok

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## SofaKing

Uneasy. Things shouldn't be so hard...I'm tired...so tired.


----------



## Kevin001

Stressed but grateful


----------



## CNikki

Somewhat empowered. I was able to go back to my job and did what I had to do. The person who has been...harassing me...was trying to get under my skin a few times but I did not respond to them. Then 'they' tried to exclude me from the group work. At the end of it, I just walked out and didn't say bye to them.

Going to wait until shortly after Christmas to put my two weeks in. I do not need this. They need me, if anything, because nobody wants to work for them to begin with. I know some people who have worked there and they said the same. The place is highly unorganized.


----------



## SofaKing

CNikki said:


> Somewhat empowered. I was able to go back to my job and did what I had to do. The person who has been...harassing me...was trying to get under my skin a few times but I did not respond to them. Then 'they' tried to exclude me from the group work. At the end of it, I just walked out and didn't say bye to them.
> 
> Going to wait until shortly after Christmas to put my two weeks in. I do not need this. They need me, if anything, because nobody wants to work for them to begin with. I know some people who have worked there and they said the same. The place is highly unorganized.


So pull the "either she goes or I go" gambit. You have nothing to lose unless you'd really rather quit.


----------



## CNikki

SofaKing said:


> So pull the "either she goes or I go" gambit. You have nothing to lose unless you'd really rather quit.


Too much at stake on both ends. They're lucky that I've been kind enough to think about their end of the deal, despite that they've been in trouble for other reasons before. It has nothing to do with the person directly either, but who they support - that I care about.


----------



## purplereign722

CNikki said:


> Somewhat empowered. I was able to go back to my job and did what I had to do. The person who has been...harassing me...was trying to get under my skin a few times but I did not respond to them. Then 'they' tried to exclude me from the group work. At the end of it, I just walked out and didn't say bye to them.
> 
> Going to wait until shortly after Christmas to put my two weeks in. I do not need this. They need me, if anything, because nobody wants to work for them to begin with. I know some people who have worked there and they said the same. The place is highly unorganized.


 Good for you 

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## MCHB

Intoxicated!

*disclaimer: I only drink once a week...but when I do I get fershnickered!*


----------



## Scaptain

Really ****ing bored.


----------



## Chevy396

Irish


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Utterly #woke about how nobody likes or cares about me


----------



## purplereign722

ShatteredGlass said:


> Utterly #woke about how nobody likes or cares about me


Sorry to hear that, I'm sure that's not true.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## Kevin001

Groggy


----------



## Rachel NG

Bored now, but with a growing level of anticipatory anxiety that will probably be a serious issue by the end of the day.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed, anxious, and lonely.


----------



## purplereign722

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed, anxious, and lonely.


Hug

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

purplereign722 said:


> Hug
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


Thanks.


----------



## Chevy396

I'm not even slightly hungover this morning. One of the many benefits of being in great shape again, I guess.


----------



## loneranger

Not sure where to go. Too many people and I feel trapped and claustrophobic at home, too.


----------



## purplereign722

So my husband just drove all the way to the mall to get my winter jacket. We completely forgot it's 2 days before Christmas. The mall is packed and I couldn't get out of the car. Now my husband is upset with me. 
My heart is racing and I'm crying. I feel like a complete loser. 

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

purplereign722 said:


> So my husband just drove all the way to the mall to get my winter jacket. We completely forgot it's 2 days before Christmas. The mall is packed and I couldn't get out of the car. Now my husband is upset with me.
> My heart is racing and I'm crying. I feel like a complete loser.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


I used to be completely mad. Spent years stuck inside.

Yesterday I found christmas shopping simply a bit annoying at times, because everyone's bumping into everyone else.

There was a young lad in the till queue in Asda/Walmart, looked about 12, suffering from anxiety, and heard his mother saying the exposure would be good for him.

I wanted to talk to the lad about my issues with anxiety, and tell him he can overcome it, but it wasn't the right time and place. lol

You can overcome how you feel, but you have to be pissed off enough with how you feel.

You can go from being a nervous reclusive wreck, to walking around the mall with your hubby, feeling like you're walking around your flat/house in your PJ's after you've just woke up for a piss.

You can feel THAT comfortable, and you don't need meds to do it. You just have to get to a point where you're completely pissed off with feeling so nervous, then one day, you'll realize that your anxiety over such things made no sense whatsoever. :smile2:


----------



## purplereign722

Pete Beale said:


> I used to be completely mad. Spent years stuck inside.
> 
> Yesterday I found christmas shopping simply a bit annoying at times, because everyone's bumping into everyone else.
> 
> There was a young lad in the till queue in Asda/Walmart, looked about 12, suffering from anxiety, and heard his mother saying the exposure would be good for him.
> 
> I wanted to talk to the lad about my issues with anxiety, and tell him he can overcome it, but it wasn't the right time and place. lol
> 
> You can overcome how you feel, but you have to be pissed off enough with how you feel.
> 
> You can go from being a nervous reclusive wreck, to walking around the mall with your hubby, feeling like you're walking around your flat/house in your PJ's after you've just woke up for a piss.
> 
> You can feel THAT comfortable, and you don't need meds to do it. You just have to get to a point where you're completely pissed off with feeling so nervous, then one day, you'll realize that your anxiety over such things made no sense whatsoever. :smile2:


Thanks

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## SofaKing

Sometimes, I'm just so very tired.


----------



## CNikki

Things could be better, but they could also be worse. I'm lucky that worse has not happened. 

I'll try to keep my head up for the holidays.


----------



## CNikki

purplereign722 said:


> So my husband just drove all the way to the mall to get my winter jacket. We completely forgot it's 2 days before Christmas. The mall is packed and I couldn't get out of the car. Now my husband is upset with me.
> My heart is racing and I'm crying. I feel like a complete loser.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


I'm sorry to hear about that. :hug Stay strong.


----------



## purplereign722

CNikki said:


> I'm sorry to hear about that. :hug Stay strong.


 Thanks

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

Fat and hideous.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Crisigv said:


> Fat and hideous.


I still don't think you look hideous. :stu


----------



## Crisigv

LiveWaLearningDisability said:


> I still don't think you look hideous. :stu


Thanks but I feel like it.


----------



## Kevin001

Cold...I was cold at work and cold at home ugh


----------



## Scaptain

Really ****ing bored and depressed.


----------



## purplereign722

It's Christmas eve and today I feel so lonely and depressed. Hope I can make it to the new year. 

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## purplereign722

thatsher said:


> I actually talked about how lucky I was for not getting sick in 6 months. The next day I got super sick and still am lol and I have to catch my train in an hour, going to travel a bit. yay.


 Hope you feel better, have a safe trip. ☺

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lonely and cursed.


----------



## SofaKing

Pete Beale said:


> Lonely and cursed.


You certainly not alone in your sentiment, mate.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pete Beale said:


> Lonely and cursed.


Same.


----------



## SofaKing

Pathetic. I could go out tonight to see Star Wars with a guy from a SA meetup I know or I can wallow in booze and self pity all alone.

And...I'm having a difficult time choosing!


----------



## SilentLyric

heartbroken and foolishly hopeful.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> You certainly not alone in your sentiment, mate.


:squeeze



SamanthaStrange said:


> Same.


:squeeze



SilentLyric said:


> heartbroken and foolishly hopeful.


Know the feeling well :squeeze



SofaKing said:


> Pathetic. I could go out tonight to see Star Wars with a guy from a SA meetup I know or I can wallow in booze and self pity all alone.
> 
> And...I'm having a difficult time choosing!


If it was a woman, I'd do star wars over that for sure, that's all I know. lol

I hope you do manage to do Star Wars. :smile2:


----------



## purplereign722

SofaKing said:


> Pathetic. I could go out tonight to see Star Wars with a guy from a SA meetup I know or I can wallow in booze and self pity all alone.
> 
> And...I'm having a difficult time choosing!


Go see star wars, no wallowing.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> Lonely and cursed.


:rub



SamanthaStrange said:


> Same.


:hug :squeeze



SofaKing said:


> You certainly not alone in your sentiment, mate.


:rub


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub
> 
> :hug :squeeze
> 
> :rub


Thanks mate. :smile2:


----------



## SplendidBob

Yup, made the mistake of looking on Facebook on Christmas eve with everyone doing their relationshippy happiness ****. Painful low mood incoming. Memories of last years misery, etc. Oh god.

Yeh, starting to feel pretty low now.


----------



## moondaisy

Disappointed. Isolated. Weak.


----------



## SofaKing

splendidbob said:


> Yup, made the mistake of looking on Facebook on Christmas eve with everyone doing their relationshippy happiness ****. Painful low mood incoming. Memories of last years misery, etc. Oh god.
> 
> Yeh, starting to feel pretty low now.


Chin up, mate. We're all in this together.


----------



## SplendidBob

SofaKing said:


> Chin up, mate. We're all in this together.


Cheers fella


----------



## Ampata

I'm not really in the moment.


----------



## funnynihilist

Not so good.


----------



## procion

like ****


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

splendidbob said:


> Yup, made the mistake of looking on Facebook on Christmas eve with everyone doing their relationshippy happiness ****. Painful low mood incoming. Memories of last years misery, etc. Oh god.
> 
> Yeh, starting to feel pretty low now.


Sorry you're feeling ****ty mate. :hug


----------



## daretobelieve

Not feeling Christmas this year.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> Not so good.


:squeeze


----------



## funnynihilist

SamanthaStrange said:


> :squeeze


Thanks, back at ya


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

i just feel stuck..

The holidays limit a lot of things, especially when you're in small town..


----------



## Wanderlust26

Depressed, lonely and hopeless.


----------



## discoveryother

Wanderlust26 said:


> Depressed, lonely and hopeless.


happy xmas /sarcasm

i'm a bit lonely too. hope you feel better soon.


----------



## SplendidBob

Pete Beale said:


> Sorry you're feeling ****ty mate. :hug


Thanks Pete, hope you are doing ok fella.


----------



## tehuti88

Discouraged, unwanted, and increasingly bitter. Even other supposedly lonely people in _"support" communities_ (ha!) hate me and discount my experiences, even when I go out of my way not to be offensive (and even to be supportive). Why shouldn't I just hate other lonely people and discount their entire lives, too?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tehuti88 said:


> Discouraged, unwanted, and increasingly bitter. Even other supposedly lonely people in _"support" communities_ (ha!) hate me and discount my experiences, even when I go out of my way not to be offensive. Why shouldn't I just hate other lonely people and discount their entire lives, too?


:squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tehuti88 said:


> Discouraged, unwanted, and increasingly bitter. Even other supposedly lonely people in _"support" communities_ (ha!) hate me and discount my experiences, even when I go out of my way not to be offensive (and even to be supportive). Why shouldn't I just hate other lonely people and discount their entire lives, too?


:hug


----------



## loneranger

Feeling like I need a hug.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel achy in my back, a little horny, a little bored, a little tired. I feel like I need something to pick me up.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

loneranger said:


> Feeling like I need a hug.


:squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad


----------



## funnynihilist

Numb


----------



## Chevy396

funnynihilist said:


> Numb


Same. On my last drink, so I bought the perfect amount of whiskey.


----------



## funnynihilist

solutionx said:


> Same. On my last drink, so I bought the perfect amount of whiskey.


What kind you drinking?


----------



## Chevy396

funnynihilist said:


> What kind you drinking?


Jameson


----------



## Specder

Well I could spew some schematic apology
But it wouldn't do no good
The damage is done, so now all we do is run
And pretend our choices haven't killed the best in us
We'll fly a white flag, and both say everything we had never meant anything at all
And when I'm not passed out, and I'm really sleepin'
I'm always dreamin' of you


----------



## funnynihilist

solutionx said:


> Jameson


One of my favorites. Good stuff!


----------



## loneranger

SamanthaStrange said:


> :squeeze


Thanks


----------



## Chevy396

Like I seriously want a country scrambler from Jack in The Box. I was just considering driving drunk to get one, but I thought better of it.


----------



## Kevin001

Stomach is killing me.


----------



## EarthDominator

Scared, sad. I'm actually not sure how to describe the feeling. 

But, after today, my 'reputation' amongs the family and anyone who is connected to them, will be permanently over. It will be put into the ground so deep that I won't be able to get out of it. The thing is, my brother is going to give a speech about me, and it will be hateful, he told me that he won't spare me. And he will do it infront of the whole family. 

I'm really asking what I did wrong to deserve this all. :sigh


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Extremely anxious.


----------



## twistix

SamanthaStrange said:


> Extremely anxious.


:squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

twistix said:


> :squeeze


Thank you. :squeeze


----------



## dn2MG7AdEL

I feel cold.


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh


----------



## Chevy396

I'm feeling great. I finally figured out how to drink to excess without getting a hangover.


----------



## funnynihilist

solutionx said:


> I'm feeling great. I finally figured out how to drink to excess without getting a hangover.


Drink lots of water?


----------



## Chevy396

funnynihilist said:


> Drink lots of water?


More complicated than that. I start with only Irish whiskey, it doesn't give me much of a hangover in it'self, then mix it with a homemade soda that has sea salt, potassium and magnesium powders in it. In this case it was lemon lime. Also I take some kratom before I go to sleep.

Worked pretty well and I drank a whole 375ml bottle of whiskey.


----------



## harrison

Tired


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Relieved.


----------



## moondaisy

Exhausted, weird.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****e.

This year has been the best of my life because I finally had someone to live life with, but now she's gone, and it's all down to bad luck at the end of the day. 

I should be with her now, but life has ****ed us both over, and got in the way. 

I really should look at my time spent with her as a massive success, but I can't because of the way it ended.

All the good that has happened, all that we did together, it's all in the past.

I was going to decorate her tree for her this year, buy us a holiday in Snowdonia, Cumbria or Scotland, take her to restaurants, maybe rent a boat again, go swimming, cinema, etc etc.

Instead I'm sat in the living room with my old dear snoring her brains out on the sofa, with depressing East ****ing Enders on in the background, because I can't even be arsed to turn the TV over and turn that tripe off. Ffs lol


----------



## dn2MG7AdEL

I feel tired.


----------



## Scaptain

Annoyed.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely, in a room filled with family. I haven't spoken a word in hours. And no one gives a crap.


----------



## caelle

Recovering from a day of vomits and diarrheas. My whole body hurts


----------



## discoveryother

Crisigv said:


> Lonely, in a room filled with family. I haven't spoken a word in hours. And no one gives a crap.


i'm usually like that at family gatherings. hope it gets better, or a cat appears. i always just play with a cat or dog if there is one.


----------



## SofaKing

Exhausted. How am I going to keep this up?


----------



## dn2MG7AdEL

It is 21.29, and I feel so tired.


----------



## Candied Peanuts

I feel hopeful.


----------



## labelme

Bury me


----------



## dn2MG7AdEL

I feel excited to receive noise cancellation headphones on this coming Wednesday.


----------



## SofaKing

Woefully inconsequential. 

I only wanted to matter in a meaningful way.

I've lost sight of any purpose to keep going.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> Woefully inconsequential.
> 
> I only wanted to matter in a meaningful way.
> 
> I've lost sight of any purpose to keep going.


Same here mate. :serious:


----------



## SofaKing

Pete Beale said:


> Same here mate. :serious:


Thanks for sharing...

I'm an overthinker and a problem solver...nature of my brain and the work I do. I just know that any therapeutic options will be meaningless. I've considered seeking a "life coach", but will probably be very picky and critical of any advice unless it's very concrete and specific to me. I'm tired of exploring and searching other options that all yield the same meaningless result.

And the hardest thing to accept, is that nobody really has much purpose or matters. It's an illusion. We see others in the news, TV, etc., that allegedly make a significant difference, but we're talking .01% of the population.

I guess I need to just accept all this, cash my paycheck, and hope to find something else to do with my life that makes it worth waking up each day.

It's a race to finding that or taking the other way out.


----------



## nancyrobin

Feeling alone.


----------



## Kevin001

Overwhelmed. Helping my mom is taking a lot out of me, I can barely take care of myself. Plus she is not grateful and always complains which is the worst.


----------



## kivi

I feel bad. My back aches so much (I slipped on ice and then studied until 3 am yesterday). I feel mentally exhausted, too.


----------



## Wanderlust26

andy1984thesecond said:


> happy xmas /sarcasm
> 
> i'm a bit lonely too. hope you feel better soon.


Thanks. I hope you do too.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel so alone :cry


----------



## Ms kim

I'm feeling pain. I have a sore throat.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tipsy from the Prosecco wine I drank earlier. I need to sleep.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> I feel so alone :cry


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

I wish something interesting would happen.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> I wish something interesting would happen.


Me too girl.

Sat here watching The Chase while my mother snores her brains out on the sofa.

Fun, exciting times! :serious: lol


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Me too girl.
> 
> Sat here watching The Chase while my mother snores her brains out on the sofa.
> 
> Fun, exciting times! :serious: lol


:laugh: :high5


----------



## tea111red

i just ate junk thinking i wasn't going to have to go anywhere tomorrow so it wouldn't matter if i looked more "fluffy," but i found out i have to leave the house for something tomorrow. :no


----------



## SofaKing

tea111red said:


> i just ate junk thinking i wasn't going to have to go anywhere tomorrow so it wouldn't matter if i looked more "fluffy," but i found out i have to leave the house for something tomorrow. :no


Lol, fluffy.

That was the term we used in medic class.


----------



## tea111red

SofaKing said:


> Lol, fluffy.
> 
> That was the term we used in medic class.


:lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cold. Lonely. Bored.


----------



## tea111red

bored.
life is more empty.


----------



## funnynihilist

Bored as always


----------



## LadyApathy

Cold. Being poor=no money for a heater during the winter. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## harrison

Bored. 

I should have booked a ticket to somewhere fun while the tickets were reasonably priced.


----------



## noonecares

Lonely


----------



## loneranger

Lonely


----------



## Crisigv

Really down


----------



## SamanthaStrange

SamanthaStrange said:


> Cold. Lonely. Bored.


Still cold, still lonely, not bored yet, but it'll happen soon, lol.


----------



## Karsten

LadyApathy said:


> Cold. Being poor=no money for a heater during the winter.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Really? That sounds excrutiating.

I worked in a warehouse with minimal heat a few years back. It never got above 50 degrees in there.


----------



## Kevin001

LadyApathy said:


> Cold. Being poor=no money for a heater during the winter.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Thats insane, no one should have to freeze :squeeze.


----------



## EarthDominator

Sad, dead from inside.

I'm about to cry but I'm holding back....as always. :/


----------



## Ai

Really anxious... which is making me a little nauseous and irritable. 

Don't want to work tomorrow.


----------



## Lohikaarme

EarthDominator said:


> Sad, dead from inside.
> 
> I'm about to cry but I'm holding back....as always. :/




__
Sensitive content, not recommended for those under 18
Show Content


----------



## funnynihilist

It's all so monotonous


----------



## Skygrinder

Meh


----------



## harrison

Not all that well. Getting this tired and stressed out lately definitely isn't good for me. I need to get a new psychiatrist and maybe some additional medication.


----------



## Crisigv

Horrible and hated


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

trepidatious ...

I'm experimenting (as usual) with a baking soda/apple cider vinegar exfoliation process.

And i don't think it's working..


----------



## CNikki

Tired. Not wanting to wake up early tomorrow. Slowly doing something about the situations at hand but it's the time invested that annoys me the most. I want to leave so much behind.


----------



## cinto

Like my add is okay enough right now where i can concentrate on a movie. problem is, I don't have a darn good one to watch. Reminds me of 'Friday'

"No sugar? Damn. Y'all ain't never got two things that match. Either y'all got Kool-aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Daaamn."


----------



## EarthDominator

Lohikaarme said:


>


Thanks. :sigh


----------



## Kevin001

Groggy


----------



## Mrs Robot

Sad and rejected.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired of the cold.


----------



## Kevin001

cinto said:


> Like my add is okay enough right now where i can concentrate on a movie. problem is, I don't have a darn good one to watch. Reminds me of 'Friday'
> 
> "No sugar? Damn. Y'all ain't never got two things that match. Either y'all got Kool-aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Daaamn."


Lmao


----------



## loneranger

Here for you all.


----------



## ShadowOne

Very confused. And old thoughts I should be over by now very prevalent in my mind


----------



## SofaKing

Good for nothing and nobody.


----------



## SplendidBob

Better than earlier. Still not ideal.


----------



## Crisigv

I don't even know


----------



## LadyApathy

Bored af....think I’m getting sick too. Might be a cold. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## tea111red

thank God........


----------



## Kevin001

Anxious about transportation the next few days.


----------



## anxietyconquerer

Feeling grateful for everyday. Hoping the best for everyone out there with anxiety disorders. Especially those that don't have a support group like this.


----------



## tea111red

not much is stimulating.


----------



## Blue Dino

Unoptimistic.


----------



## Chevy396

An unpleasant mixture of exhausted and restless.


----------



## mindfullescape

Grateful for all the blessings of this year. But emotionally, could be better. Mood shattered and energy is low. Not my ideal way of ending the year on a slightly bad note...


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Upset. My manager only scheduled me to work twelve measly hours next week. Screw that. I need another job.


----------



## Chevy396

Scared because I used the buffalo sauce for my chicken strips. It has some sort of chemical preservative in it that I didn't recognize at first so it will probably give me a massive two day migraine. At least I have kratom and weed as a backup.


----------



## Crisigv

Like my emotions are being toyed with. I feel so horrible.


----------



## harrison

Fairly stable and settled. Had a couple of good night's sleep and didn't wake up for too long to disrupt them as usual. Makes a massive difference to how I feel the next day. My old shrink was right.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cold. Tired. Grumpy.


----------



## CNikki

Numb.


----------



## noonecares

Lonely


----------



## Firestorm54

Pretty bored. I'm not sad, depressed, happy or excited. Just bored and dull


----------



## The Library of Emma

Stressed, but I've been taking care of myself, doing what I can to relax so I can think clearly. My mind feels like a wound with a band aid over it. It's cared for, it intends to heal.


----------



## The Library of Emma

I've been stressing, and spent most of the day doing calming activities. I feel properly bandaged.


----------



## Johnny Walker

Not optimistic + kinda numb.

Will 2018 be any different than all the previous years i had or i will just continue to exist.


----------



## unemployment simulator

pretty crap. haven't slept properly for ages, I go to bed then wake up a few hours later feeling dehydrated with a massive backache and needing a piss, then fall asleep again and wake up again a few hours later, repeating over and over all night. feeling really exhausted and just incredibly crappy.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Bad. Scared.


----------



## Chevy396

I think I'm feeling a little better from taking Celexa for a couple of days. I know it's supposed to take a while, but it always effects me quickly.

Still having side effects, but it has helped enough that I'm not so desperate to stress eat. I think I may actually lose weight on an SSRI, unless I just bloat up from water weight.

Killing my sex drive, but I was actually able to sleep last night without it.

Hopefully I'll be able to cut back on kratom and save some money for gas.


----------



## IwishIhadacoolpseudonym

We've had people staying at our house non-stop for months over the break and the first arrived just after I'd finished my exams. I'm exhausted, not only physically, but emotionally. Also, I feel obliged to meet up with this girl because she invited me over to her house. The thing is, she's really nice and she doesn't have many friends, but I don't really feel comfortable because so much interaction is exhausting and I don't know her parents all that well. It's also pretty hard to explain my anxiety to her because her first language is Russian (moved from Ukraine a few years back) and when I tried to explain she just thought it was shyness. 
I feel physically trapped and surrounded, but mentally isolated.


----------



## Kevin001

Anxious.....friend can't drive me and pick me up today so.


----------



## Jeff271

My research crew woke me up at 6am, I made them breakfast. Waiting for the coffee to kick in.


----------



## funnynihilist

Firestorm54 said:


> Pretty bored. I'm not sad, depressed, happy or excited. Just bored and dull


Thats me everyday!


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****ty but what can you do A?

I noticed someone close to me posted yesterday on here, and it's rare to find anyone close to you on here, so I messaged her and will see how that goes.

Also, still gutted that the other woman I mention a lot on here won't message me to discuss stuff. I still owe her money and she still has some of my stuff as well.

I'd love to sort it out with her but don't know if it's possible.

I've thought about just sending the money I owe her to her bank account, but then I think about how she ruined my shirt, cost me a train ticket I didn't need to spend money on and still has some of my stuff. 

I think to myself, why should I give her the money, but then think about her issues and the stress she obviously suffers from. I know it isn't all her fault, but I want her to take some responsibility for what happened too at the same time. I deserve that!

I never expected things to go down like this with a fellow SA person, but then there's more going on than just SA, thanks to her arsehole cheating dad leaving her as a baby. 

I feel sorry for her, but she should feel sorry for me too, and like adults, we should sort this out.

It's painful, because I've had some quality times with her and loved getting out of bed in the morning for once. lol

Hopefully she'll come around and we can sort it out one day. All you can do is hope sometimes.


----------



## Crystal Jackbum

Um well I think I want to die and at the same time I don't. I told my mom that I was going to kill myself and she told me to do it. I feel like I can't take it anymore. Living in this house has been hell since we moved in. Now it has been almost ten years of this horrible feeling. I don't know how to interact with people normally and I get attached to them quickly. I freak out when they get attached to me too and decide to ignore them until they move on. I want to leave already but I know I can't well at least not yet anyways. And I always ask myself what did I do so wrong to get parents like the ones I have. The good thing is that I pretend that these things aren't happening and it helps a lot. I am feeling much better now because I know that in less than two years I will finally leave and not come back.


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable and alone


----------



## funnynihilist

Disgusted


----------



## tea111red

i got a feeling of impending doom as soon as i got on this site. :no


----------



## SamanthaStrange

So depressed and lonely.


----------



## tea111red

funnynihilist said:


> Disgusted


bad batch of beans? j/k


----------



## funnynihilist

tea111red said:


> bad batch of beans? j/k


No such thing! Lol


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

funnynihilist said:


> Disgusted


My foot fetish post was it? lol


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

For everyone feeling ****e, btw. :group


----------



## funnynihilist

Pete Beale said:


> My foot fetish post was it? lol


No Pete, I got no problem with your foot fetish if it gives you some glimmer of something in this awful world 
I'm more of an *** man myself haha


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

funnynihilist said:


> No Pete, I got no problem with your foot fetish if it gives you some glimmer of something in this awful world
> I'm more of an *** man myself haha


I'm an everything man tbh.


----------



## discoveryother

idk how i feel now. nervous for no reason. i feel odd. maybe i'm afraid that some things will go badly? but i'm not consciously aware of any thoughts... i guess this is some generalised anxiety? idk. i feel really off. i haven't been out today. i can't identify why i would feel like this... its troubling.

i felt kind of weird yesterday too. i went out for a walk but idk i didn't feel right. although now i think of it, i had been feeling uncharacteristically good from things like walking and sitting in the sun, etc. maybe this is just the come down of that not functioning anymore.


----------



## CNikki

A bit hyped. No, I'm not buzzed. Probably not a good idea either.


----------



## tea111red

bored.


----------



## Jeff271

my crew are alseep, think I'll power down the module and call it a night too


----------



## tea111red

i hate having to put up w/ that noise outside.


----------



## tea111red

it just got even louder.... :roll


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pretty good! Had a video game date with the lady and the guild we are part of. We played Guild Wars 2 and had a fun new years eve chat with the guild leaders.


----------



## Johnny Walker

not bad nor good
calm


----------



## harrison

Slightly elevated. Not all that surprising really though.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

First day of 2018 and all I wanted to do was force myself to sleep, but I got that restless feeling so my body forced me out of bed at 12:30.

I really wish I didn't have to worry anymore about working and was free.

I've no idea what to do about any of it.

I'm ****ing mad.

And she hasn't bothered to message me. Still painted black.

I'll be gutted if she doesn't message me on my birthday.

To be ignored by her on that day will be really hard to take.

All I want in life is someone to spend time with. We did that, it was great, but the stress of her career path got in the way.

I really couldn't give a **** about a career.

I wish to god I had the drive she has, but I just don't.

So much of life is wasted working, or being depressed, worrying about being unemployed.

It's all madness.

She told me actually that she wishes she wasn't ambitious, but her dad is very successful, big house, own business, fingers in all sorts of pies. All her dads siblings have money, careers. Her aunt is married to a multi millionaire, her brother in laws family are millionaires, then there's this unemployable bum like me, who just doesn't fit in with any of that. lol

She has to live up to her dad's expectations and I think she wants her dad to be proud of her though. I don't think he really gives a **** though, and suspect he could be a narcissist based on all I know. 

If he is a narc, will she ever get what she wants from him, no matter what she does? :serious:

She's got a lot of pressure on her, but she does have this ability to focus, but I don't think she can cope with having someone close to her in her life at the same time.

I'm the opposite.


----------



## Kevin001

Sluggish


----------



## Crisigv

Uncomfortable


----------



## loneranger

Were unexpected below freezing earlier then it was supposed here in the deep central south. So, Brr. I'm cold.


----------



## Johnny Walker

I just used facebook messanger to text an old friend happy new year. And i saw many people from my past who were online and my heart started bouncing very fast. I got really anxious. Why is this :/


----------



## Crisigv

Who cares? My feelings don't seem to matter.


----------



## Paul

Increasingly sick.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Meh. Cold.


----------



## funnynihilist

Like the futures uncertain and the end is always near


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling hot.

38 degrees C (100 degrees F) here today. My feet burning on the concrete. :sigh


----------



## funnynihilist

ANX1 said:


> Feeling hot.
> 
> 38 degrees C (100 degrees F) here today. My feet burning on the concrete. :sigh


And here I am in the total opposite. 5 degrees Fahrenheit


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

funnynihilist said:


> And here I am in the total opposite. 5 degrees Fahrenheit


A plane trip downunder can fix that mate.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

ANX1 said:


> A plane trip downunder can fix that mate.


Pay for it mate and we'll both come lol.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cursed. It never ****ing ends.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry. Time to eat.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Pay for it mate and we'll both come lol.


That is always the problem with traveling.


----------



## Jeff271

I'm doing good, I have 200 neon straws & some nickel plated tempered steel rings


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Lonely as **** now.


----------



## tea111red

i want to see this person again. 

(i think...)


----------



## naes

Crisigv said:


> Who cares? My feelings don't seem to matter.


From me to you
:hug


----------



## loneranger

Frustrated and tired


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored, devalued, discarded, worried and a **** load of other ****ty things too.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I'm feeling tired of babysitting. Can't wait for next week when everyone is gone during the day so i can enjoy some alone time. Too many people have been around for the last two weeks. it shot up my anxiety and depression into the danger zone.


----------



## quietRiot10

Slightly better


----------



## The Linux Guy

very very sleepy.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Down.


----------



## purplereign722

SamanthaStrange said:


> Down.


:hug

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

purplereign722 said:


> :hug


Thank you. How are you feeling?


----------



## purplereign722

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thank you. How are you feeling?


I've been better, thanks for asking 

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## 0589471

Got over a bad stomach flu last week only to succumb to chest congestion and an irritatingly unending cough!!! This season of sickness just won't end. My office is a germ incubator everyone is sick. I need an escape. lol


----------



## tea111red

exhausted.....

it is hard having to keep pushing myself to do stuff i need to do!! almost every part me is resisting. i have to take the smallest of steps and it takes sooooo long to finally do what i need to do.


----------



## MrQuiet76

soooooo tired


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pretty melancholic. Me and my wonderful mother had a little spat today that left both me and her in tears.

Good men are not supposed to make women cry, especially their mothers.


----------



## TryingToBeBrave

worried about my uncle. The doctor told him today that at the rate his eyes are deteriorating, he will be completely blind in three years.


----------



## discoveryother

i lost a shoe at the beach and i was pretty upset with myself. i walked up and down the beach 3 times and eventually found it... still upset with myself though. apparently i can't even be relieved.


----------



## Crisigv

Pretty worthless and stupid. Fat and ugly.


----------



## purplereign722

Crisigv said:


> Pretty worthless and stupid. Fat and ugly.


Nope, you're extremely valued, intelligent and beautiful. 
:hug

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## Lohikaarme

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Pretty melancholic. Me and my wonderful mother had a little spat today that left both me and her in tears.
> 
> Good men are not supposed to make women cry, especially their mothers.


I'm sure you didn't mean whatever either of you might have said. My mom and I used to get into heated fights all the time but at the end of the day, we both knew we loved each other no matter what. Do something nice for her afterwards, she'll appreciate the gesture


----------



## EarthDominator

I don't even know how I feel, I don't think my inner-soul is even alive at all. Just, broken.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

purplereign722 said:


> Nope, you're extremely valued, intelligent and beautiful.
> :hug


:agree


----------



## Kevin001

Been stressed but I know its only making me stronger.


----------



## alienbird

I'm feeling better physically. I was sick for a while, and it's clearing up! So that's one positive.


----------



## Johnny Walker

right now i feel hungry


----------



## quietRiot10

Grand said:


> I'm feeling better physically. I was sick for a while, and it's clearing up! So that's one positive.


Exactly the same here.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Extremely bad. More than words can say here.


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed


----------



## probably offline




----------



## SamanthaStrange

Totally indifferent.


----------



## Skygrinder

Nervous


----------



## Kevin001

Like a trapped rabbit.


----------



## Johnny Walker

i feel tired, no idea why


----------



## The Library of Emma

The second day of my first depressive episode of the new year. Hoping it will all end soon.


----------



## SplendidBob

Tired and deflated. Bit worried.


----------



## forever in flux

sexier than a sandwich and cooler than a cucumber ;-)


----------



## Nadya

Insecure


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

forever in flux said:


> sexier than a sandwich and cooler than a cucumber ;-)


I want to butter you up and make a good ole English cucumber sarnie out or you, and eat you right up, even your crusts. Om nom. :cuddle

Don't take this seriously people.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

splendidbob said:


> Tired and deflated. Bit worried.


Me to, Bob, me too. :hug


----------



## CNikki

Like one of these nights might very well be my last night. No amount of talking, company, pills or sleep can fix it. I'm trying to get out. I can't.


----------



## purplereign722

CNikki said:


> Like one of these nights might very well be my last night. No amount of talking, company, pills or sleep can fix it. I'm trying to get out. I can't.


:hug

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## noonecares

Lonely and sad


----------



## Skygrinder

Broken. Trying not to fall off the wagon.


----------



## MCHB

Intoxicated.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Can't cope. I just can't.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Stressed out. Anxious. Freezing.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored out of my brains and desperate to be rich

And I'm ****ing lonely.

I miss you, Weesie! For gawd ****ing sake me wench, I miss you a great deal!


----------



## quietRiot10

Terrible.


----------



## MCHB

Plastered!


----------



## SofaKing

Exhausted. I just don't have anything left to give.


----------



## Johnny Walker

fine
it's Friday night and i wish i had someone to go out with


----------



## loneranger

I feel lonely.


----------



## forever in flux

Pete Beale said:


> I want to butter you up and make a good ole English cucumber sarnie out or you, and eat you right up, even your crusts. Om nom. :cuddle


Outrageous! Your comment made me feel physically sick. I am a highly respectable gentleman and man of science!





 @Amon I thought you'd appreciate this clip mate


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

you know..

sometimes, when i accidentally over hear guys talking about sex, i get creeped out.. it's not sex, per se.. they way they're talking is more like rape.

But it's even worse, when i see posts or threads about how guys just want to f***ck a chick, or "hit that".. i feel embarrassed and ashamed to be a woman. It feels dirty.

In person, i give their group a dismissive glance, and they all get red in the face, tuck their d**cks between their legs and run..

It's sad when i pass a guy in a group and some dumb as** says: "I'd hit that"..

I got so annoyed one day when a guy said it, and i snapped. I knew i was within ear shot, and yelled back: "Bi**ch, you couldn't "hit it" with a Mack truck.."

I didn't even want to see the guy's reaction, i just kept moving.


----------



## tea111red

i want to meet someone new.


----------



## Chevy396

thinkstoomuch103 said:


> you know..
> 
> sometimes, when i accidentally over hear guys talking about sex, i get creeped out.. it's not sex, per se.. they way they're talking is more like rape.
> 
> But it's even worse, when i see posts or threads about how guys just want to f***ck a chick, or "hit that".. i feel embarrassed and ashamed to be a woman. It feels dirty.
> 
> In person, i give their group a dismissive glance, and they all get red in the face, tuck their d**cks between their legs and run..
> 
> It's sad when i pass a guy in a group and some dumb as** says: "I'd hit that"..
> 
> I got so annoyed one day when a guy said it, and i snapped. I knew i was within ear shot, and yelled back: "Bi**ch, you couldn't "hit it" with a Mack truck.."
> 
> I didn't even want to see the guy's reaction, i just kept moving.


Sounds like you have some issues with anger management. Women want to have sex with guys just as often as men want to have sex with women. Some people take it too far and say something out loud in public, but it has nothing to do with if they are male or female.

I've had girls do that to me quite a few times. It doesn't make me mad though, it makes me feel good. A lot of people enjoy being hit on, so why should everyone have to stop flirting just to make sure they don't upset your conservative values?

I would suggest medication and therapy. Getting laid can help a lot too. I don't get laid enough either. It is very cathartic.


----------



## Tezcatlipoca

frustrated


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Very sad. It kind of hit me hard this morning. For some reason, I feel the worst when I wake up and before going to bed. Those are the real moments of dread.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Scrub-Zero said:


> Very sad. It kind of hit me hard this morning. For some reason, I feel the worst when I wake up and before going to bed. Those are the real moments of dread.


I usually feel better when going to bed. Being tired calms me. I hate the mornings though and my up and coming landmark birthday is really bothering me at the mo, and knowing that the only real person I've cared about in so many years will probably ignore me on the day, is really hard to take.

I'd never dream of doing that to her!

When it comes to me, there's so much work I need to do on myself but can't stop the stupid, self destructive and avoidant behaviour.

I'm having to drag myself out of bed at the mo, just to sit around all day.

When I was living with her I couldn't wait to get out of bed.

I really need someone I care about in life, and someone who cares about me, to do this ****.


----------



## bubzzzz

i'm doing okay. i was distressed earlier by my hurtful thoughts and beliefs about myself but i am in the process of trying to calm down and deal with my anxiety. i am at least on my comfy couch with some peace in the day on a weekend


----------



## jolene23

Terrible


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

Just came back in from working out..

Man! It's crowded this time of year? But it won't be long before all of the resolutionists finally stop showing up.


----------



## riverbird

Somewhat positive about the future.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

terrible, as usual.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

thinkstoomuch103 said:


> you know..
> 
> sometimes, when i accidentally over hear guys talking about sex, i get creeped out.. it's not sex, per se.. they way they're talking is more like rape.
> 
> But it's even worse, when i see posts or threads about how guys just want to f***ck a chick, or "hit that".. i feel embarrassed and ashamed to be a woman. It feels dirty.
> 
> In person, i give their group a dismissive glance, and they all get red in the face, tuck their d**cks between their legs and run..
> 
> It's sad when i pass a guy in a group and some dumb as** says: "I'd hit that"..
> 
> I got so annoyed one day when a guy said it, and i snapped. I knew i was within ear shot, and yelled back: "Bi**ch, you couldn't "hit it" with a Mack truck.."
> 
> I didn't even want to see the guy's reaction, i just kept moving.


lol that's great.

Also that's normal most women find the way a lot of men talk about sex disgusting. The sad thing is most guys don't even realise that. Like the poster who quoted you above.


----------



## greentea33

I do halfway ok during the day but get bad at night. I get bored and lonely. Lately I've been trying to go to bed at 8 which really doesnt work well but I cant stand being awake any longer.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Very bored and frustrated.

Being ignored by someone you care about is really frustrating.

I want to sort things out and enjoy life again.

There's so much fun to be had, so much to see and do, but I can't enjoy these things on my own!

I'm not even god damn anxious, so it's even worse when you beat anxiety with somethings, but have no one to do anything with. :frown2:

All that matters in life is to find people, or a person, you can enjoy it with.

Being alone is ****ing awful!


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

greentea33 said:


> I do halfway ok during the day but get bad at night. I get bored and lonely. Lately I've been trying to go to bed at 8 which really doesnt work well but I cant stand being awake any longer.


:frown2:


----------



## CNikki

Kind of pissed for the fact that I didn't sleep til past 7 AM and then woke up in the early afternoon. But at the same time it's cool. First time I've pulled an all-nighter in a while and took it to my advantage since it's my day off.


----------



## greentea33

Ya. Being alone sucks but Im trying to figure out how to do it. Ive been alone for most of my life so I would think I would kind of be Ok with it by now.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

greentea33 said:


> Ya. Being alone sucks but Im trying to figure out how to do it. Ive been alone for most of my life so I would think I would kind of be Ok with it by now.


You'll never be OK with it, not when you see all around you, people enjoying life with others.

I hate being alone and I need people/someone to like me.

I wish I was a massive introvert, but I'm an imprisoned extrovert.


----------



## Crisigv

Frozen. My back room at work is so cold.


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

powerless..

I'm trying to program our drone, and it's having a problem connecting to the internet.

I think i might have to shell out money for a remote control, because trying to direct it from WIFI seems to be a problem.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

How am I feeling? I'm feeling like shyt. The only time I feel even slightly good is when I don't eat much. And then I have that issue where I kinda feel good but it still sucks because I'm hungry.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

WillYouStopDave said:


> How am I feeling? I'm feeling like shyt. The only time I feel even slightly good is when I don't eat much. And then I have that issue where I kinda feel good but it still sucks because I'm hungry.


You have an eating disorder?


----------



## lauris01

i hate life and errything else


----------



## lauris01

;(


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

lauris01 said:


> i hate life and errything else


Keep at it though girl. You're only young and it can get better! You can still have good times in life!


----------



## Overdrive

good !


----------



## Johnny Walker

sleepy


----------



## LadyApathy

Not too shabby actually. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## funnynihilist

Full


----------



## Lohikaarme

Lighter than I've been in months.

The lead weights around my ankles have been falling away chip by chip.


----------



## CNikki

A bit hyped up. Trying to do ten things at once and on top of that I'm lecturing to myself as to what advice I would give to certain individuals if I had the balls to speak to them. Some are alive, others dead (good riddance. I say this with no hate in my heart.)

Plus the fact that I really need to check myself. If I want to live, I need to change. Idealistically I'd love for some external changes, too.

And, yes, I'm still technically MIA. I'm hoping that some things that are being said here and there reach to certain individuals before I go.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Pete Beale said:


> You have an eating disorder?


 No. I have diabetes. Which I guess could be called an eating disorder (technically). I don't know how it is when you have to take insulin but when you just have to take the pills, eating anything with high carbs sucks your energy and makes you feel really tired.


----------



## twistix

I don't even know why I get teary


----------



## Crisigv

Like I don't matter. I'll never matter.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Moody. :bah


----------



## Scrub-Zero

How low can a man go? Because If I have to go lower, I'm gonna have to start digging a hole.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Pete Beale said:


> I usually feel better when going to bed. Being tired calms me. I hate the mornings though and my up and coming landmark birthday is really bothering me at the mo, and knowing that the only real person I've cared about in so many years will probably ignore me on the day, is really hard to take.
> 
> I'd never dream of doing that to her!
> 
> When it comes to me, there's so much work I need to do on myself but can't stop the stupid, self destructive and avoidant behaviour.
> 
> I'm having to drag myself out of bed at the mo, just to sit around all day.
> 
> When I was living with her I couldn't wait to get out of bed.
> 
> I really need someone I care about in life, and someone who cares about me, to do this ****.


I'm sorry you are suffering, my friend. I've seen you mention her quite a bit on here. I really hope you find someone that will stay by your side.

I lost someone I cared about a while ago(not in love or anything). Haven't really been able to cope well with that loss. Mostly trying not to fall into old bad habits while I get used to her not being around anymore.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

WillYouStopDave said:


> No. I have diabetes. Which I guess could be called an eating disorder (technically). I don't know how it is when you have to take insulin but when you just have to take the pills, eating anything with high carbs sucks your energy and makes you feel really tired.


:frown2:

I need to get tested for that and go on a strict diet if I have it.



Scrub-Zero said:


> I'm sorry you are suffering, my friend. I've seen you mention her quite a bit on here. I really hope you find someone that will stay by your side.
> 
> I lost someone I cared about a while ago(not in love or anything). Haven't really been able to cope well with that loss. Mostly trying not to fall into old bad habits while I get used to her not being around anymore.


I'm sorry you've lost someone too mate.:frown2:

I don't even know If I have completely lost her yet though tbh, and that's why it's so frustrating.


----------



## thomasjune

Pretty freaking good. To bad it won't last long.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Insecure.


----------



## forever in flux

SamanthaStrange said:


> Insecure.


Why? It's nothing to do with that *** thread is it? I'm sure yours is lovely


----------



## forever in flux

thomasjune said:


> Pretty freaking good. To bad it won't last long.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


What drugs did you take and how is the comedown?

I've heard heroin is good and less addictive than cigarettes!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

forever in flux said:


> Why? It's nothing to do with that *** thread is it? I'm sure yours is lovely


:sus Thanks...? :lol


----------



## forever in flux

SamanthaStrange said:


> :sus Thanks...? :lol


No worries 

I saw that picture you posted of yourself, you know with your hair covering your face. Unfortunately for you (unless you meant to do it?) there was a mirror placed behind the chair and you managed to take a picture of your *** too. Surprised you wear thongs, I prefer french knickers (not on myself obviously), heard thongs can chafe a bit, I certainly wouldn't want a piece of fabric between my buttcheeks.

TBH it's not the best quality photo, so if you've got a better quality one then send it to me (or post it on here, so long as it isn't too explicit you'll be fine) and I'll kindly send it over to the *** expert with the dead wife over in that 'sexist *** in class?' thread. Once he gives you his expert opinion on it you'll have no more reason to feel insecure about your butt


----------



## SamanthaStrange

forever in flux said:


> No worries
> 
> I saw that picture you posted of yourself, you know with your hair covering your face. Unfortunately for you (unless you meant to do it?) there was a mirror placed behind the chair and you managed to take a picture of your *** too. Surprised you wear thongs, I prefer french knickers (not on myself obviously), heard thongs can chafe a bit, I certainly wouldn't want a piece of fabric between my buttcheeks.
> 
> TBH it's not the best quality photo, so if you've got a better quality one then send it to me (or post it on here, so long as it isn't too explicit you'll be fine) and I'll kindly send it over to the *** expert with the dead wife over in that 'sexist *** in class?' thread. Once he gives you his expert opinion on it you'll have no more reason to feel insecure about your butt


----------



## loneranger

I feel ignored.


----------



## forever in flux

SamanthaStrange said:


>


I don't understand, I said a picture of your ***, not someone who is an ***.

I've nothing against her really but that's not the point.

I DEMAND BETTER QUALITY PHOTOS OF YOUR *** IMMEDIATELY!

Listen I'll do you a favour, rather than post the picture on here or forward it on to Mr Assmaster, you can just send it to me directly and I'll give you my opinion.

I'm not as much of an expert as Mr Assmaster but I've seen several in the flesh and hundreds over the years through my online research - when I was a teenager I'd spend hours researching asses, I mean not asses in particular, but I happened to see many asses in my online research dedicated to the female form. When my parents went away and I had the computer to myself it was ridiculous how many hours of research I got under my belt, I was a very dedicated student.

Anyway, if you want to get over this insecurity then you need somebody qualified (which in my humbled opinion I am) to assess your *** - see what I did there


----------



## SamanthaStrange

forever in flux said:


> I don't understand, I said a picture of your ***, not someone who is an ***.
> 
> I've nothing against her really but that's not the point.
> 
> I DEMAND BETTER QUALITY PHOTOS OF YOUR *** IMMEDIATELY!
> 
> Listen I'll do you a favour, rather than post the picture on here or forward it on to Mr Assmaster, you can just send it to me directly and I'll give you my opinion.
> 
> I'm not as much of an expert as Mr Assmaster but I've seen several in the flesh and hundreds over the years through my online research - when I was a teenager I'd spend hours researching asses, I mean not asses in particular, but I happened to see many asses in my online research dedicated to the female form. When my parents went away and I had the computer to myself it was ridiculous how many hours of research I got under my belt, I was a very dedicated student.
> 
> Anyway, if you want to get over this insecurity then you need somebody qualified (which in my humbled opinion I am) to assess your *** - see what I did there


You're lucky I have a sense of humor, pal.


----------



## forever in flux

loneranger said:


> I feel ignored.


You're lucky you don't have a stalker, then you'll long to feel ignored.

Unfortunately for my stalker (whose highly likely retarded) I'm housebound the majority of the day and he just sits on the pavement (that's sidewalk for my fellow Americans) waiting for me making farting noises and sticking his fingers up his bum. Honestly it's more amusing than scary, and the guy isn't much of a threat because he's a midget. I shot him with a waterpistol once and the fool started screaming, saying he was melting - I guess you had to be there but it was pretty funny at the time.

Anyway count your blessings.


----------



## forever in flux

SamanthaStrange said:


> You're lucky I have a sense of humor, pal.


Playing hard to get hey? Hmmm you may have won this battle but you will not win the war. I will get those photos eventually or I shall have my day in court!

You sexy ***!


----------



## Chevy396

Once again my Mom found a way to crush my soul and make me feel small. First she was playing some loud video on her phone that had a super stress inducing whistle noise every ten seconds or so. I was trying to go to sleep and it was loud enough to be heard in my apartment across the house. When I confronted her about it she got angry at _me_ and told me she wasn't trying to get on my nerves because I was the last thing in the world she was thinking about, as usual. I was left trying to figure out how I was the bad guy for some ****ty thing she did, again. Thanks Mom, keep up the good work.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Lonely. I miss my friend and it's not easy to going from talking a lot to radio silence. How the **** do people cope with that? Just make new friends? That easy?

It just wouldn't be as good. And definitely not the same connection that I had.


----------



## Lohikaarme

solutionx said:


> Once again my Mom found a way to crush my soul and make me feel small. First she was playing some loud video on her phone that had a super stress inducing whistle noise every ten seconds or so. I was trying to go to sleep and it was loud enough to be heard in my apartment across the house. When I confronted her about it she got angry at _me_ and told me she wasn't trying to get on my nerves because I was the last thing in the world she was thinking about, as usual. I was left trying to figure out how I was the bad guy for some ****ty thing she did, again. Thanks Mom, keep up the good work.


Nah, she was just being thoughtless and opted to shift the blame to you. I would think the polite thing to do in large households is to use earphones in case you want to listen to something that might be loud...


----------



## Chevy396

Lohikaarme said:


> Nah, she was just being thoughtless and opted to shift the blame to you. I would think the polite thing to do in large households is to use earphones in case you want to listen to something that might be loud...


Polite? Haha, that is something only reserved for wanted guests and family members who actually attend their church. It has been made very clear that I am a nuisance and only being put up with because I had a stroke. It's not quite as bad as I make it sound, but if you could see the difference in respect that is shown for other people compared to me, it is shameless. She definitely knows _how_ to be polite when she wants to. Even though this has been going on my whole life, I never seem to really get used to it. Sorry for whining about it though, it's not a very grown up thing to do. ;P


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Scrub-Zero said:


> Lonely. I miss my friend and it's not easy to going from talking a lot to radio silence. How the **** do people cope with that? Just make new friends? That easy?
> 
> It just wouldn't be as good. And definitely not the same connection that I had.


:frown2:

I could have written this.

The fact that she might even ignore my up and coming 40th birthday will kill me as well tbh.


----------



## Lohikaarme

solutionx said:


> Sorry for whining about it though, it's not a very grown up thing to do. ;P


Be careful, you have exhausted your non-grown up whining quota for the week


----------



## Chevy396

Lohikaarme said:


> Be careful, you have exhausted your non-grown up whining quota for the week


Hah, that's what you think. You ain't seen nothin' yet. ;P


----------



## EarthDominator

Feeling better than yesterday, still like trash though, but better. And that is mainly thanks to my friends, although they are not physically here, I know I can always count on them. :smile2:


----------



## Skygrinder




----------



## Kevin001

Irritated...burned some eggs now whole house smells.


----------



## Lohikaarme

solutionx said:


> You ain't seen nothin' yet. ;P


:afr :b


----------



## lostforlife

I'm feeling lost and confused and my heart aches as it has for a long time now but one good thing is that I in general feel motivated and hopeful and have a strong urge to get out there and change my life but I don't know how to start. I want to meet people out in the real world and do things I never do normally. It's frustrating to not know how.


----------



## thislittlekat

I honestly just feel suicidal. My voice is choking in my throat with each word I speak. I dont want to talk anymore. I don't know how to breathe mostly. My eating disorder has taken completely over. I ate 3 pringles which is normally a safe food, but my head screams purge and I can't stop crying. I'm so ****ing tired of this. Just let me end it.

Sent from my SM-N910P using Tapatalk


----------



## tea111red

wondering why certain things happened the way that they did again.


----------



## Crisigv

Have a headache which is making me nauseous. Hopefully Advil will work.


----------



## isamanthax

Currently worrying about my psych appt. in two days and about what I'm going to say about my med mix.


----------



## caelle

I finally turned in my resume for a JOB! I've been putting it off for too long but I finally did it. It's at a small business in a small town so I'm hoping I have a good chance at being hired.

I just hope that if I get an interview they go easy on me because that's the worst part of applying for jobs. I freeze up and forget what to say. Wish me luck guys.


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

He texted asking where have i been?

And i let him know. Very freeing that i don't have to be there when he's there.

I got a little tired of hearing him say:

_ "Since i've met you i feel like a celebrity! Everyone is introducing themselves to me, and asking me how it is that i'm talking to "that chick in the hoodie", and can i introduce them to you."_

I don't want any part of that, so i wake up and get ready 3 hours earlier to avoid any of that silliness..


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

I get to go grocery shopping tomorrow.

I can't wait to buy my favorite staples:

Egg Whites

Fresh Spinach

Cut Fruit

Whole Fruit

and a box of Magnum's Double Caramel Ice cream bars!!


----------



## loneranger

Under the weather


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Pete Beale said:


> :frown2:
> 
> I could have written this.
> 
> The fact that she might even ignore my up and coming 40th birthday will kill me as well tbh.


That would not be a great way to spend your 40th birthday. I hope she won't ignore that, mate. It's a shame we all live so far from each other. I'd hang out with a lot of people if they were closer. Especially on their birthday. No one should be alone in those days.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Pete Beale said:


> :frown2:
> 
> I could have written this.
> 
> The fact that she might even ignore my up and coming 40th birthday will kill me as well tbh.





Scrub-Zero said:


> That would not be a great way to spend your 40th birthday. I hope she won't ignore that, mate. It's a shame we all live so far from each other. I'd hang out with a lot of people if they were closer. Especially on their birthday. No one should be alone in those days.


I actually found someone on here last week, who lives 9 miles away from me, who happens to have her 29th in the same week. :O I'm just waiting now to see if her's is on the same day :O lol.

I **** you not mate. Tis a miracle. lol

Still, the connection I had with the other lady was extremely rare for me and she's the only person I've ever truly opened up to in all these bloody years, so I know how you feel when you lose someone and then feel like you might never have that connection again, yet you're supposed to get out there and find someone to match them.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like crap.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sleepy.

Time for a quick snack before hitting the sack.

Hey that rhymes! I must be a poet after all!


----------



## camokay

Exhausted, physically and emotionally
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## loneranger

Very under the weather.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Hungover. That brandy was good as hell, though. I warmed it up like my grandfather used to do and it went down so well. The wine did not cut it. I guess I wasn't in the mood for the strong sweet taste of port.

Either way, fml I have a huge headache this morning. Maybe it was a bad idea to drink after my workout, when I was exhausted. Did not have enough water either. Time for some more rest now anyway.


----------



## EarthDominator

Feeling crappy right now. Until I came home, I was doing okay. Not good not bad, just fine. That was, *untill* I got home.

When I entered my house, I was blamed for something my brother did. Apparently he got a 1 as his grade (which is comparable to an F in the US. Just the lowest grade you can get). He said I didn't explain it to him, but he never asked me in the first place.

That and everything I say is stupid or dumb or whatever other word you can think of. :sigh Great... ._.


----------



## Lohikaarme

EarthDominator said:


> Feeling crappy right now. Until I came home, I was doing okay. Not good not bad, just fine. That was, *untill* I got home.
> 
> When I entered my house, I was blamed for something my brother did. Apparently he got a 1 as his grade (which is comparable to an F in the US. Just the lowest grade you can get). He said I didn't explain it to him, but he never asked me in the first place.
> 
> That and everything I say is stupid or dumb or whatever other word you can think of. :sigh Great... ._.


How on earth were _you _responsible for your brother's crappy grade... that's just reaching at this point.

Come on, don't take this crap. :wink2:


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Permanently unwanted.


----------



## Skygrinder

I feel fine.

These last several days were a rollercoaster of emotions. 

I feel like me again. C:


----------



## unemployment simulator

that feel when you visit an old forum and it's turned into an extroverts clique! :tiptoe


----------



## SplendidBob

Anxiety and urge to avoid and self sabotage is really building up for the volunteering ****. I still need to do some preparation stuff for it and am avoiding doing even that. ****. Haven't felt anticipatory anxiety like this for a while.

My neck is also horrible. Ugh. Chances of me actually going through with the volunteering are probably only about 60% now. I know my OCD is going to **** with me as well, and its literally the worst form of OCD. I feel like I am inviting it in.


----------



## unemployment simulator

splendidbob said:


> Anxiety and urge to avoid and self sabotage is really building up for the volunteering ****. I still need to do some preparation stuff for it and am avoiding doing even that. ****. Haven't felt anticipatory anxiety like this for a while.
> 
> My neck is also horrible. Ugh. Chances of me actually going through with the volunteering are probably only about 60% now. I know my OCD is going to **** with me as well, and its literally the worst form of OCD. I feel like I am inviting it in.


wish you the best of luck if you go through with it mate. I tried to get myself into working at a charity shop recently but completely bottled it. really want/need a job but stuck in a hell of procrastination,worry and apathy rn.


----------



## forever in flux

splendidbob said:


> Anxiety and urge to avoid and self sabotage is really building up for the volunteering ****. I still need to do some preparation stuff for it and am avoiding doing even that. ****. Haven't felt anticipatory anxiety like this for a while.
> 
> My neck is also horrible. Ugh. Chances of me actually going through with the volunteering are probably only about 60% now. I know my OCD is going to **** with me as well, and its literally the worst form of OCD. I feel like I am inviting it in.


What are you volunteering to do? Is it part of your NHS therapy or self-directed?


----------



## SplendidBob

unemployment simulator said:


> wish you the best of luck if you go through with it mate. I tried to get myself into working at a charity shop recently but completely bottled it. really want/need a job but stuck in a hell of procrastination,worry and apathy rn.


Thanks.

I kinda know I have to go through with it. I know what happens if I don't unfortunately (it becomes 10x harder the next time). Just kinda wish there hadn't been such a long buildup to it. I must have first gone in there several months ago, gone to a training day, DBS check, and been in for like 3 meetings. Lots of time for anticipatory anxiety to build and a lot resting on this one particular task. Made things so much more difficult than it needed to be.

I also wish my mood were a bit better tbh, it's not helping.



forever in flux said:


> What are you volunteering to do? Is it part of your NHS therapy or self-directed?


Part of the process yeh. Volunteering at the local library to help kids learn to program. Part of the actual sucky doing stuff to get out into the real world. Very avoidy **** for me this.


----------



## forever in flux

splendidbob said:


> I also wish my mood were a bit better tbh, it's not helping.
> 
> Part of the process yeh. Volunteering at the local library to help kids learn to program. Part of the actual sucky doing stuff to get out into the real world. Very avoidy **** for me this.


Sounds like it could be quite rewarding at least, especially once you become desensitised to it.

Can you take a small amount of baclofen or pyrazolam to take the edge off or would that be considered cheating?

I know benzos can interfere with new memory formation and consolidation but baclofen should be alright. A little pyrazolam wouldn't hurt surely if it means the difference between going and not going


----------



## quietRiot10

splendidbob said:


> Thanks.
> 
> I kinda know I have to go through with it. I know what happens if I don't unfortunately (it becomes 10x harder the next time). Just kinda wish there hadn't been such a long buildup to it. I must have first gone in there several months ago, gone to a training day, DBS check, and been in for like 3 meetings. Lots of time for anticipatory anxiety to build and a lot resting on this one particular task. Made things so much more difficult than it needed to be.
> 
> I also wish my mood were a bit better tbh, it's not helping.
> 
> Part of the process yeh. Volunteering at the local library to help kids learn to program. Part of the actual sucky doing stuff to get out into the real world. Very avoidy **** for me this.


That sounds pretty cool - teaching kids to program. Getting your DBS check can be quite a long process can't it, hope you stick it out but don't beat yourself up if you bail. Just remember that you're providing a good service. 0

I'm feeling useless and worthless.


----------



## SplendidBob

forever in flux said:


> Sounds like it could be quite rewarding at least, especially once you become desensitised to it.
> 
> Can you take a small amount of baclofen or pyrazolam to take the edge off or would that be considered cheating?
> 
> I know benzos can interfere with new memory formation and consolidation but baclofen should be alright. A little pyrazolam wouldn't hurt surely if it means the difference between going and not going


Hah, well I am sorta cheating anyway, am on pregabalin though it only has a very minor effect on anxiety for me.

Yeh, tbh I would rather benzo my way through it, and do it than not do it at all (then the next time be benzo free). I might contact the key bearer to my stash and grab some in case, its a good idea.

I am stopping the bupropion, don't need the extra stimulation and haven't been on it long (less than a week).


----------



## tea111red

like i don't want to be awake.


----------



## SplendidBob

quietRiot10 said:


> That sounds pretty cool - teaching kids to program. Getting your DBS check can be quite a long process can't it, hope you stick it out but don't beat yourself up if you bail. Just remember that you're providing a good service. 0
> 
> I'm feeling useless and worthless.


Yeh, its not a bad volunteering task tbh, as they go. I think the DBS check was only a few weeks in my case, there are a few volunteers doing it, I got the first group because mine came through quicker.

Sorry you are feeling useless and worthless .


----------



## moondaisy

Relatively better. Though mood swings are an inseparable part of my routine, so I honestly don't know if I will continue feeling this good even in the following hours of the day.


----------



## cinto

a bit hurt. 
geez.


----------



## cybernaut

I had a depression spell for 30 minutes. But, I then realized that I need to be patient.


----------



## Kevin001

cinto said:


> a bit hurt.
> geez.


If you need me to whoop somebody let me know. :squeeze


----------



## CNikki

Like I can't hold on for that much longer. I'm desperately trying to reach out for help and it's not coming fast enough, let alone being enough. What's going to happen when I am dead? What's it going to take to be believed? Everything that I have ever tried to believe in are diminishing in front of me while other instances are only confirming to the biases I've had. I wanted to be proven wrong. One breakdown after another going on. I fail at life. I simply can't take it any longer.


----------



## Chevy396

Kevin001 said:


> If you need me to whoop somebody let me know. :squeeze


You might lose your baptism if you do that. :O


----------



## Sus y




----------



## komorikun

Oh god. 3 more days left of the work week. It just goes on and on.


----------



## tea111red

alright, i can feel myself getting tired. i don't know if it is my body actually being tired (i've only been up 4 hrs :stu) or me getting tired because i just thought about my mom and her bull****.

that woman has messed w/ my head so bad. she's done a lot of that "gaslighting" ****. it's been even harder to think ever since she's been doing this a lot lately. it's hard working through this confusion.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sus y said:


> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3lF2qEA2cw&list=PLMHoPzhXpAtCG2BCIDzuXdN7QZiS2Rqqo


Thank you for sharing.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

:hug


----------



## Sus y

ANX1 said:


> Thank you for sharing.


----------



## EarthDominator

Crappy, difficult to describe really. I really wished one of my friends were here next to me. :rain


----------



## SofaKing

CNikki said:


> Like I can't hold on for that much longer. I'm desperately trying to reach out for help and it's not coming fast enough, let alone being enough. What's going to happen when I am dead? What's it going to take to be believed? Everything that I have ever tried to believe in are diminishing in front of me while other instances are only confirming to the biases I've had. I wanted to be proven wrong. One breakdown after another going on. I fail at life. I simply can't take it any longer.


As a suicide loss survivor your death only brings questions and self blame. Outsiders can't know your pain and won't easily empathize. The grief will be directed towards you as anger (normal stage of the process). It's more seen as a punishment for those that remain than peace for the one who dies.

Please don't give up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sus y said:


>


----------



## CNikki

SofaKing said:


> As a suicide loss survivor your death only brings questions and self blame. Outsiders can't know your pain and won't easily empathize. The grief will be directed towards you as anger (normal stage of the process). It's more seen as a punishment for those that remain than peace for the one who dies.
> 
> Please don't give up.


I know. I keep and have kept telling myself throughout the years I've ever been this way. It's hard. I try writing down things that I feel and have went through (especially things throughout this past year) as a way to elaborate and to hope that some of that burden gets lifted. Also as a way to try to 'stay with it' and not lose all of my consciousness where I would just snap. Likely far from done, too. I keep getting little breakdowns and yesterday I just sobbed like a baby, and over half of the things that I cannot even remember right now as to why. My head would hurt as I did and there was a change as to how I was consciously, so I tried to control myself from not going too far into it.

Like I said, I'm trying to hang on. But if it does happen, I'm definitely leaving some notes and 'explaining' myself. I made that choice. I can't go through another few decades, at least, only to deteriorate mentally.


----------



## SofaKing

CNikki said:


> I know. I keep and have kept telling myself throughout the years I've ever been this way. It's hard. I try writing down things that I feel and have went through (especially things throughout this past year) as a way to elaborate and to hope that some of that burden gets lifted. Also as a way to try to 'stay with it' and not lose all of my consciousness where I would just snap. Likely far from done, too. I keep getting little breakdowns and yesterday I just sobbed like a baby, and over half of the things that I cannot even remember right now as to why. My head would hurt as I did and there was a change as to how I was consciously, so I tried to control myself from not going too far into it.
> 
> Like I said, I'm trying to hang on. But if it does happen, I'm definitely leaving some notes and 'explaining' myself. I made that choice. I can't go through another few decades, at least, only to deteriorate mentally.


If I knew I was losing mental faculties and would devolve to a care burden, like Alzheimer's, I'd probably share the same desire for euthanasia.

Comparing other mental illnesses has not yet gained full acceptance for that.

I hope you find a livable peace.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> thank you..


You're welcome. :hug


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Really depressed.

One minute we were eating gluten free sticky toffee pudding and custard, watching Pointless, washing up then trying to figure the laundry system set up, then the next I'm on my way back home.

We'd planned to watch movies that night because she was free from studying.

I really can't deal with the drastic switch in mood then being ignored for almost 9 weeks. 

I've created 4 new facebook account trying to contact her in that time, all ignored or blocked in one way or another unless I create another account. 

Sent her mom a message on FB last monday that's still showing as "sent" even though I know she's been online. When we argued in the house though her mom did not want to get involved.

I put some credit on my phone yesterday so I could text her. I havn't tried to text her for 9 weeks and never use my phone anymore, so had to waste a fiver just to send a text. I've no idea if I'm blocked so used my dads phone to send a text too.

Now I'm thinking about sending her sister a video message in FB.

I'm slowly becoming stalkerish and won't listen to the logical part of my brain with all of this, because I feel so bad. 

I know what's going on but cannot accept the complete death of what we had because it makes no sense.

I know I'm a decent bloke and don't deserve this, and she's doing neither of us any favours for ending it all. She's losing something good in me. Pushing me away. 

I wish she didn't have all the stress of trying to gain a career, then I think her mental state would be better and we could fix things.

There's people younger and stronger than her topping themselves because of trying to fit in and achieve the bull**** British dream and find their place in life, and it worries me.

Also worried about a mole I've developed. A family member just had to have a cancerous mole removed so need to keep my eye on this.


----------



## greentea33

Extremely mad.


----------



## cinto

Kevin001 said:


> If you need me to whoop somebody let me know.


thanks, but I already own a bat, and a bb gun 

lol, joking.


----------



## forever in flux

Lonely, depressed, and deeply frustrated. Stuck in a highly toxic environment and no way out without ruining the best chance I've ever had at long-term recovery. I hate living here so much most of the time that the thought of even more years stuck in this house before I'm well enough to move on feels intolerable


----------



## asittingducky

Wondering if I'm running out of time because I spent my life having a codependent personality.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

greentea33 said:


> Extremely mad.


Angry or bonkers?

I'm feeling the latter, but is there any other way to be though? lol


----------



## SplendidBob

forever in flux said:


> Lonely, depressed, and deeply frustrated. Stuck in a highly toxic environment and no way out without ruining the best chance I've ever had at long-term recovery. I hate living here so much most of the time that the thought of even more years stuck in this house before I'm well enough to move on feels intolerable


I understand this very well. Very common for a lot of people on this board I imagine.

Hang in there mate, do all you can to minimise damage while doing what you have to for long term recovery (music, earbuds are my friends personally).


----------



## greentea33

Mad. My family is pretty bad but I guess Ive always known that.


----------



## forever in flux

splendidbob said:


> I understand this very well. Very common for a lot of people on this board I imagine.
> 
> Hang in there mate, do all you can to minimise damage while doing what you have to for long term recovery (music, earbuds are my friends personally).


Cheers Bob. I do a lot of that, spend much of my day with earbuds in to block out the shouting, swearing, insane drama about the same old bull**** day in day out. Addicts are the most selfish pricks imaginable. I often pray they'd just die, which is really ****ed up given their relationship to me.

I have a lock on my door, I have to keep everything I own under lock and key, but one of the ****ers managed to break that recently by kicking and banging my door in because the doctor was going to reduce their valium script - nothing whatsoever to do with me, I just happened to be in the house at the time trying to keep out the way.

I don't let them walk all over me either but fighting back is exhausting too and it never does any good, it only escalates the situation. They are like the Terminator 'they can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop... ever, until you are dead!'

You're right though. I'm seeing a new therapist in a few weeks who is far better qualified than others I've seen over the years. Part of my therapy will surely involve getting out a lot more and doing gradual exposure experiments, which is scary to contemplate, but for a few hours every week at least I'll be away from the insanity of this place and doing something constructive


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad and lonely.


----------



## twistix

SamanthaStrange said:


> Sad and lonely.


:squeeze 
I care about you. Don't forget that.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

twistix said:


> :squeeze
> I care about you. Don't forget that.


:blush Thank you. Same goes for you. :squeeze


----------



## SplendidBob

forever in flux said:


> Cheers Bob. I do a lot of that, spend much of my day with earbuds in to block out the shouting, swearing, insane drama about the same old bull**** day in day out. Addicts are the most selfish pricks imaginable. I often pray they'd just die, which is really ****ed up given their relationship to me.
> 
> I have a lock on my door, I have to keep everything I own under lock and key, but one of the ****ers managed to break that recently by kicking and banging my door in because the doctor was going to reduce their valium script - nothing whatsoever to do with me, I just happened to be in the house at the time trying to keep out the way.
> 
> I don't let them walk all over me either but fighting back is exhausting too and it never does any good, it only escalates the situation. They are like the Terminator 'they can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop... ever, until you are dead!'
> 
> You're right though. I'm seeing a new therapist in a few weeks who is far better qualified than others I've seen over the years. Part of my therapy will surely involve getting out a lot more and doing gradual exposure experiments, which is scary to contemplate, but for a few hours every week at least I'll be away from the insanity of this place and doing something constructive


Sounds nasty (feel bad for comparing my living situation, but I know its not a competition ).

re therapy, I have improved a lot, I should probably make a video about that and how therapy has helped me (might actually be a useful one for people to watch, and might help persuade them to push for therapy, esp here in the UK).

But making therapy work for me was:

1. I got a really good psychologist
2. I went in with the attitude of totally complying and giving it 100%. None of my usual argumentative (avoidant) bull****, just doing everything that was asked of me.

It sounds like you are about to start out where I did, so yeh man, go all in on it and do whatever the **** they want you to do. Rare opportunity to get a more qualified therapist, gotta grab it by the balls and pull em clean off.

Keep us updated etc


----------



## AffinityWing

Regretful

I keep letting my roommates walk over me. I've been trying to be too nice...


----------



## arntran

Today not the best considering big tootache I have


----------



## Kevin001

cinto said:


> thanks, but I already own a bat, and a bb gun
> 
> lol, joking.


Ok but if you need me holla. My stand up is legit.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Worried about this mole I have so will need to get it checked tomorrow. Will ask about the therapy I was supposed to be getting too.

I feel like ****. Still being ignored but all I can do is wait.


----------



## EarthDominator

Crappy, sad, low-spirited. 

Sinking deeper and deeper into the dark side of my depression. But, maybe that's who I am right now. I wish I didn't contacted that suicide-prevention chat. :sigh


----------



## Kevin001

Anxious about today and days to come but also kinda happy because I know I'll be ok.


----------



## quietRiot10

Impatient.


----------



## lostforlife

Sad and frustrated but also hopeful that this might be a better year and a year where I can manage to move on from the past.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I feel hungover again.

Dear Journal...

2nd day of drinking. I feel hopeless.



arntran said:


> Today not the best considering big tootache I have


Darn, sorry to hear that, matey. Just got out of one a few days ago that lasted days. I popped a lot of pills. Felt like a junky.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel pointless, unimportant. At work, when I talk, it seems that no one listens. At home, I'm quiet because everyone else's topics are more important. My feelings are never taken seriously. I feel like I'm on auto pilot. Yet, I'm expected to be here, just have to stay quiet. But don't show that you're miserable, you have to be happy. Or else you'll be shunned even more. Any time I leave the house, it feels like I'm doing something wrong. I'm going to be 30, but I still feel like I a kid. I'm so lost.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bad.


----------



## tea111red

i hope my eye does not get worse.


----------



## Johnny Walker

pretty good


----------



## Kevin001

Amazed.....my family gets fast food daily......I wonder what it feels like to be in a family that actually cooks.


----------



## tea111red

getting suicidal thoughts again.


----------



## forever in flux

splendidbob said:


> Sounds nasty (feel bad for comparing my living situation, but I know its not a competition ).
> 
> re therapy, I have improved a lot, I should probably make a video about that and how therapy has helped me (might actually be a useful one for people to watch, and might help persuade them to push for therapy, esp here in the UK).
> 
> But making therapy work for me was:
> 
> 1. I got a really good psychologist
> 2. I went in with the attitude of totally complying and giving it 100%. None of my usual argumentative (avoidant) bull****, just doing everything that was asked of me.
> 
> It sounds like you are about to start out where I did, so yeh man, go all in on it and do whatever the **** they want you to do. Rare opportunity to get a more qualified therapist, gotta grab it by the balls and pull em clean off.
> 
> Keep us updated etc


Lol grab it by the balls indeed!

Yeah I've got to mate, it's do or die for me, I've got credible steps to take after therapy that involve relocating and creating a much better life for myself. I'm confident it'd be hugely beneficial for me and is a beautiful part of the country. Without the therapy though I'll stay stuck here indefinitely, as all the meds (including nardil) and self-directed therapy have helped relieve my depression but barely touched my SA.

Please make that video about the progress you've made, I'm sure there would be plenty of members who'd benefit from watching it. I like to collect recovery stories as sources of inspiration for when my motivation starts to wane, so I'm certainly keen to hear what you have to say.

It'd be helpful if you could create a separate thread for the video so it gets more exposure than a blog post.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry. Need to eat something for dinner.

My poor eyes are feeling dry again, time for my eye drops.



Crisigv said:


> I feel pointless, unimportant. At work, when I talk, it seems that no one listens. At home, I'm quiet because everyone else's topics are more important. My feelings are never taken seriously. I feel like I'm on auto pilot. Yet, I'm expected to be here, just have to stay quiet. But don't show that you're miserable, you have to be happy. Or else you'll be shunned even more. Any time I leave the house, it feels like I'm doing something wrong. I'm going to be 30, but I still feel like I a kid. I'm so lost.


 :hug



SamanthaStrange said:


> Bad.


 :hug



AffinityWing said:


> Regretful
> 
> I keep letting my roommates walk over me. I've been trying to be too nice...


 :hug



Pete Beale said:


> Worried about this mole I have so will need to get it checked tomorrow. Will ask about the therapy I was supposed to be getting too.
> 
> I feel like ****. Still being ignored but all I can do is wait.




Chin up.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tea111red said:


> getting suicidal thoughts again.


 :hug

Try and stay strong. :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug


Thanks.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Hungry. Need to eat something for dinner.
> 
> My poor eyes are feeling dry again, time for my eye drops.
> 
> :hug
> 
> :hug
> 
> :hug
> 
> 
> 
> Chin up.


Thanks mate. :smile2:

How's it going with the girl you met?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> How's it going with the girl you met?


Slow.

Lol.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Slow.
> 
> Lol.


Well I hope the pair of you find someway to speed it up then. lol


----------



## truant

Kevin001 said:


> Amazed.....my family gets fast food daily......I wonder what it feels like to be in a family that actually cooks.


I cook daily. I wonder what it feels like to be in a family that eats fast food.


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

Was in the middle of online testing, and felt sleepy.

Then i couldn't go to sleep..

So i got out of bed, and i don't want to finish the damn test.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Exhausted.

I wanted to do a gaming session with my lady friend and the guild we are a part of tonight, but I feel so drained from the long day I had that I just can't muster up the energy to do so.

Ugh.


----------



## Crisigv

Feet are pretty bad right now. I just realized that I never sat down for my break.


----------



## camokay

Lonely


----------



## funnynihilist

My stum don't feel so good


----------



## Kevin001

truant said:


> I cook daily. I wonder what it feels like to be in a family that eats fast food.


Come cook for me. :laugh:


----------



## tea111red

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug
> 
> Try and stay strong. :squeeze


well, it's hard because all i have is myself to turn to, really, and i'm already weak. thanks for caring, though...


----------



## tea111red

trying to get up the energy to go out in public.


----------



## Skygrinder

You know when you open up to someone and even get over some of your deep issues for them and they just pull the rug from underneath you?

_Feeling mid-air_ .__.

Waiting to hit the floor and for other bad feelings to kick in. They usually lag behind for me.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Skygrinder said:


> You know when you open up to someone and even get over some of your deep issues for them and they just pull the rug from underneath you?
> 
> _Feeling mid-air_ .__.
> 
> Waiting to hit the floor and for other bad feelings to kick in. They usually lag behind for me.


:hug


----------



## Kevin001

Cold....ground is frozen out there and had frozen water on the garbage can.


----------



## Skygrinder

Lohikaarme said:


> :hug


Oh, thank you. That was unexpected.

(>.__.)>


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mixed emotions.


----------



## 1life

*Wats up*

I feel lonely i feel like a loser i feel like life sucks for people like me :frown2:


----------



## noonecares

Lonely


----------



## SofaKing

Sofaking bored. Is this all there is when you're alone? Pointless


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh, bored as usual. Had a headache, took a pill, and now it's only kind of there.
Freezing rain coming and the news is talking like it's the apocalypse. They are showing the trucks full of salt and they have important looking people making dire announcements to stay inside.
*Yawn* 46 years of this. 
New year, same old ****.
God, this world is boring.


----------



## tea111red

head hurts. blah.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

funnynihilist said:


> *Yawn* 46 years of this.
> New year, same old ****.
> God, this world is boring.


Yep.

44 years in my case


----------



## Flora20

Lonely, sad, and so depressed..


----------



## jolene23

Flora20 said:


> Lonely, sad, and so depressed..


:hug


----------



## komorikun

At least I'm not dead. Sure felt like it yesterday. Can't say if it was worth it or not.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

komorikun said:


> At least I'm not dead. Sure felt like it yesterday. Can't say if it was worth it or not.


 What happened?


----------



## Johnny Walker

Much better than yesterday. Friday was a terrible day.


----------



## Kevin001

Kinda overwhelmed but also grateful.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Tired.


----------



## thislittlekat

Terrified, overwhelmed. 

Sent from my SM-N910P using Tapatalk


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I haven't felt this ill since my early 20's. 

The complete powerlessness I feel is horrible

The whole thing is such a mess and I have to live with this in my head for god knows how long. 

She's probably going to end up pushing people away like this her whole life, and it's sad.

All I can do is try and forget about her. There's literally nothing else I can do.


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

Damn.. i've invested in these pumpkin seed oils...

I like eating the seeds? But i don't think i can tolerate the oil..kind of makes me nauseated..

plus? They make me horny...

I have no idea why, but they do.. and i'm highly libidinous to begin with..


----------



## SofaKing

Sad that I don't have a SofaQueen.


----------



## Kevin001

Meh idk.....mom says she's moving this year...not sure what that means for me.


----------



## funnynihilist

thinkstoomuch103 said:


> Damn.. i've invested in these pumpkin seed oils...
> 
> I like eating the seeds? But i don't think i can tolerate the oil..kind of makes me nauseated..
> 
> plus? They make me horny...
> 
> I have no idea why, but they do.. and i'm highly libidinous to begin with..


"Your inbox is full" hahahahahah


----------



## funnynihilist

Pete Beale said:


> I haven't felt this ill since my early 20's.
> 
> The complete powerlessness I feel is horrible
> 
> The whole thing is such a mess and I have to live with this in my head for god knows how long.
> 
> She's probably going to end up pushing people away like this her whole life, and it's sad.
> 
> All I can do is try and forget about her. There's literally nothing else I can do.


Try to forget about her Pete.


----------



## SofaKing

Kevin001 said:


> Meh idk.....mom says she's moving this year...not sure what that means for me.


This is your opportunity, really. Seems very positive to get some distance from her. Scary, yes, but essential.


----------



## Kevin001

SofaKing said:


> This is your opportunity, really. Seems very positive to get some distance from her. Scary, yes, but essential.


Go where? Lol No transportation....nobody to shack with......don't make that much. But I'm trusting God .


----------



## EarthDominator

For the first time in this week, not sad.

Though I'm disgusted by my looks, but that's different than being sad. And hungry, in the weekends we're not allowed to each that much. :/


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

funnynihilist said:


> Try to forget about her Pete.


I think she'll be in my thoughts forever mate. Even when I'm on my death bed.

It shouldn't have ended up like this, but there's nothing I can do.

She wants me out of her life and that's it. She's not done herself any favours and I'll always worry about her tbh. :frown2:


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

funnynihilist said:


> "Your inbox is full" hahahahahah


Oh you're funny..8)

:lol

_I almost checked!!!_:lol


----------



## Lostbeauties

I've been feeling like crap lately with everything going on.


----------



## Kevin001

Natalie460 said:


> I've been feeling like crap lately with everything going on.


:squeeze hope you feel better


----------



## tea111red

Kevin001 said:


> Meh idk.....mom says she's moving this year...not sure what that means for me.


i hope you end up finding a place or something....


----------



## Kevin001

tea111red said:


> i hope you end up finding a place or something....


Meh I'll be ok

Don't necessarily want to move with her but not many options. I need a lot of work.


----------



## ZookaWhite

I feel like poop.


----------



## komorikun

WillYouStopDave said:


> What happened?


Nausea and forced puking (I make myself puke in order to get relief for a few minutes) all day from alcohol. Just horrible. This has happened to me quite a few times in the past but the last time was 2 years ago. Doesn't happen when I drink at home. Only when I go out.


----------



## Lohikaarme

SofaKing said:


> Sad that I don't have a SofaQueen.


Aww. :rub

I hope you'll find someone to share your sofa with someday


----------



## SofaKing

Lohikaarme said:


> Aww. :rub
> 
> I hope you'll find someone to share your sofa with someday


Me too...thanks!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Emotionally overwhelmed, I'm so depressed, and lonely. I've been crying all day, and it feels like it's never going to stop.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SamanthaStrange said:


> Emotionally overwhelmed, I'm so depressed, and lonely. I've been crying all day, and it feels like it's never going to stop.


I'm sorry. :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pete Beale said:


> I'm sorry. :squeeze


Thank you.

I'm sorry for what you're going through too. :squeeze


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thank you.
> 
> I'm sorry for what you're going through too. :squeeze


:squeeze

I've been a blubbering multiple times mess myself all day.

Off to bed to wake up for day two of the same probably lol


----------



## harrison

A bit hyped up.


----------



## Lohikaarme

On a streak, let's keep it up


----------



## EarthDominator

Crappy, really crappy. For unknown reason, I got no idea why I just feel it. Plus a bit lonely, but that's all really.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Drained

Hate waking up and thinking about what's happened, and god knows when it's going to end, or if it ever will completely go away.

Can't believe how quickly things went to ****. Completely shell shocked by her turning on me like this.

Thing is, if she contacted me now, I'd start talking to her again. I'd meet her again. 

I wish she'd try and admit there's something wrong other than SA and seek help. If she does have borderline personality disorder, she needs to get DBT therapy. 

I spoke to her though about possibly being borderline, and even ranted to her about it when I knew little about it and we'd had an argument of raged (bad move) but I don't think she could face having this problem as well.

I worry about her. Worry about if she can't achieve what she wants career wise and worry about her knee condition that might need major surgery, and put her out of action for months, possibly forcing her to change her career plans.

I can't just switch off nearly 8 years of contact. Even though she's done what she's done, there's still a chance she might pop up if she needs me.

Just got to wait now and see what happens, see if there is no contact from her and get to a stage where I know she won't come back.

Need to ignore my birthday soon as well. Can't even bare to think about that ****. That's gotta go down as just another day.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Pete Beale said:


> Drained
> 
> Hate waking up and thinking about what's happened, and god knows when it's going to end, or if it ever will completely go away.
> 
> Can't believe how quickly things went to ****. Completely shell shocked by her turning on me like this.
> 
> Thing is, if she contacted me now, I'd start talking to her again. I'd meet her again.
> 
> I wish she'd try and admit there's something wrong other than SA and seek help. If she does have borderline personality disorder, she needs to get DBT therapy.
> 
> I spoke to her though about possibly being borderline, and even ranted to her about it when I knew little about it and we'd had an argument of raged (bad move) but I don't think she could face having this problem as well.
> 
> I worry about her. Worry about if she can't achieve what she wants career wise and worry about her knee condition that might need major surgery, and put her out of action for months, possibly forcing her to change her career plans.
> 
> I can't just switch off nearly 8 years of contact. Even though she's done what she's done, there's still a chance she might pop up if she needs me.
> 
> Just got to wait now and see what happens, see if there is no contact from her and get to a stage where I know she won't come back.
> 
> Need to ignore my birthday soon as well. Can't even bare to think about that ****. That's gotta go down as just another day.


You don't have to care about someone if they want nothing to do with you anymore--you're only hurting yourself further by dwelling on this. Letting go will be difficult but essential for you to move on to better things :rub


----------



## Kevin001

Sick


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lohikaarme said:


> You don't have to care about someone if they want nothing to do with you anymore--you're only hurting yourself further by dwelling on this. Letting go will be difficult but essential for you to move on to better things :rub


:squeeze

I do care though, and that's it. I can't help it. lol Only time and no contact from her will help.

It's not all about her though. I obviously have my own life long issues I have to deal with and have always struggled with.

She took my mind off all that and brought company and fun into my life for once and made me feel normal.


----------



## tea111red

weak......trying to get the strength to do difficult things.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Feeling like i'm in a cage. When it's not the cold, its agoraphobic episodes of the trapped and restless, or depression. Just ****ing excuses I guess.


----------



## funnynihilist

Board


----------



## SofaKing

funnynihilist said:


> Board


Pretty stiff, huh?


----------



## CNikki

Really tired. Literally and figuratively.


----------



## Jeff271

okay


----------



## Crisigv

Meh


----------



## 0589471

like the dullest human being on earth


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Sad, down...but I don't know why. I just feel like that.


----------



## Kevin001

Still sick


----------



## funnynihilist

SofaKing said:


> Pretty stiff, huh?


SAS has that effect on me haha


----------



## Sus y

funnynihilist said:


> SAS has that effect on me haha


Lies, you came with that awful flu and spread it around. Tell the truth!


----------



## funnynihilist

Sus y said:


> Lies, you came with that awful flu and spread it around. Tell the truth!


I spread something around but it sure haint the flu haha


----------



## Persephone The Dread

terrible

Also I just ate something that I didn't realise was supposed to be spicy.


----------



## 0589471

Sin said:


> you are plenty of smart


Aww, Sin, my buddy!! :squeeze How have you been?


----------



## SwitchON

I feel good, And I hope I can do great things in my life


----------



## vela

lonely, meh, & tired.


----------



## EarthDominator

Crappy, worthless and lonely. 

Although I'm always afraid to use that last word, I got friends here on SAS but...it's just being physically surrounded by them. That would be great.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Feel really depressed.

It's the lack of closure that's really bothering me and feeling like she doesn't give a rats arse about me, and knowing that it's partly me and my own problems that was the problem.

It's not all her fault, it's mine as well, but I can admit to my faults and don't think she can.

All I wanted from this was to give us some company and to take our minds of our ****, and live a little, and I did that. I gave her someone to to have a laugh with and talk about her **** with if she needed to.

I really should take the positive from my time spent with her, but it's hard.

I proved I'm good company and up for living life, but I now have the massive issue of finding her replacement, and don't think I have the tools and energy to do it.

I don't think I can meet a young woman like her who I could completely expose myself to and feel comfortable with.

I certainly couldn't find a normal, understanding person to be that comfortable around.

The idea of being normal and being able to meet people without issues, is just not realistic.

God, this ****s a mess. Really needed things to workout with her.

Wish I hadn't received that text the other day.


----------



## EarthDominator

I'm losing my mind...I could really use the support. :crying:


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

I can't go anywhere until this crap gets cleared up financially.

I have to transfer payment to the bank account before other "automatic payments" start coming in, and start bouncing.

It's extremely rare when this happens? And when it does, i feel absolutely horrible.

I hate being human..


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

EarthDominator said:


> I'm losing my mind...I could really use the support. :crying:






:hug

:group

:squeeze

:cuddle


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

EarthDominator said:


> I'm losing my mind...I could really use the support. :crying:


I wish I could help you mate but my words won't do anything, well they may, but only for a split second. Going through a hard time myself as well and I'm exhausted.

We both need to find real people in life who we can connect with.

We need people or a person to be able to enjoy life with and make it worthwhile.

You just have to keep searching for answers mate.


----------



## EarthDominator

thinkstoomuch103 said:


> :hug
> 
> :group
> 
> :squeeze
> 
> :cuddle


Thanks but...yeah.



Pete Beale said:


> I wish I could help you mate but my words won't do anything, well they may, but only for a split second. Going through a hard time myself as well and I'm exhausted.
> 
> We both need to find real people in life who we can connect with.
> 
> We need people or a person to be able to enjoy life with and make it worthwhile.
> 
> You just have to keep searching for answers mate.


I know, but I got no one in real life. All my friends live far away and I don't know how long it will take before I completely lose it. :afr


----------



## Jeff271

good morning ([~]


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> I proved I'm good company and up for living life, but I now have the massive issue of finding her replacement, and don't think I have the tools and energy to do it.
> 
> I don't think I can meet a young woman like her who I could completely expose myself to and feel comfortable with.
> 
> I certainly couldn't find a normal, understanding person to be that comfortable around.
> 
> The idea of being normal and being able to meet people without issues, is just not realistic.
> 
> God, this ****s a mess. Really needed things to workout with her.
> 
> Wish I hadn't received that text the other day.


yeah, i thought i wouldn't meet someone else i liked and was upset over this for awhile, but i did, unexpectedly. the problem was, i thought he was too good for me (even though it seemed like he liked me and approved) and i got too nervous around him.....my mind literally went so blank. i felt such intense feelings...... it was like i could not handle the pleasure (since i was so used to feeling horrible, i guess) and i was in too much awe of him.

he was also not single. :no :roll lol. i guess we could've been friends and then tried if things didn't work out w/ his gf, but i was reluctant about that and i got too nervous around him anyway.

anyway, the point is it can happen......you can meet someone and completely forget that you were in such agony over the last person. you could end up laughing at how sad you felt over the last person, how you thought you wouldn't ever get over them, and how you thought you'd never come across someone else you feel compatible w/ again (hope this doesn't sound insensitive).

keep venting and stuff on the forum till you meet someone else, if you have to, though. keep working through your issues.

crossing fingers that we both meet someone that is right for us (AND single!).


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

EarthDominator said:


> Thanks but...yeah.
> 
> I know, but I got no one in real life. All my friends live far away and I don't know how long it will take before I completely lose it. :afr


Just keep posting man.

Either that or start doing some journaling, anything.. do some walking?

Wish we were there to give you some hugs. Anyone can say "it'll get better".. but I'm sure, how you feel right now, sucks the mother of all weinies..


----------



## EarthDominator

thinkstoomuch103 said:


> Just keep posting man.
> 
> Either that or start doing some journaling, anything.. do some walking?
> 
> Wish we were there to give you some hugs. Anyone can say "it'll get better".. but I'm sure, how you feel right now, sucks the mother of all weinies..


I don't know, although I'm going to the gym later on the day may release some stress and pressure.

Thanks, but it's been 3.5 years since I last recieved a hug from someone, so I can survive without them. Not saying it wouldn't be nice though. :roll Yeah, I don't really know what to say at the moment.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> yeah, i thought i wouldn't meet someone else i liked and was upset over this for awhile, but i did, unexpectedly. the problem was, i thought he was too good for me (even though it seemed like he liked me and approved) and i got too nervous around him.....my mind literally went so blank. i felt such intense feelings...... it was like i could not handle the pleasure (since i was so used to feeling horrible, i guess) and i was in too much awe of him.
> 
> he was also not single. :no :roll lol. i guess we could've been friends and then tried if things didn't work out w/ his gf, but i was reluctant about that and i got too nervous around him anyway.
> 
> anyway, the point is it can happen......you can meet someone and completely forget that you were in such agony over the last person. you could end up laughing at how sad you felt over the last person, how you thought you wouldn't ever get over them, and how you thought you'd never come across someone else you feel compatible w/ again (hope this doesn't sound insensitive).
> 
> keep venting and stuff on the forum till you meet someone else, if you have to, though. keep working through your issues.
> 
> crossing fingers that we both meet someone that is right for us (AND single!).


I hope so, but were both in a right pickle.

I'm still stuck in the past in so many ways.

Just too much stress trying to be an adult. I've always failed miserably at it.


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

EarthDominator said:


> I don't know, although I'm going to the gym later on the day may release some stress and pressure.
> 
> Thanks, but it's been 3.5 years since I last recieved a hug from someone, so I can survive without them. Not saying it wouldn't be nice though. :roll Yeah, I don't really know what to say at the moment.


You don't have to say anything, silly. 

The gym will help.. Just don't loose your sh**t on someone, man.. :lol!


----------



## EarthDominator

thinkstoomuch103 said:


> You don't have to say anything, silly.
> 
> The gym will help.. Just don't loose your sh**t on someone, man.. :lol!


Right, sorry.

It always does, luckily. And I won't, I never really talk to anyone there. But I don't expect that to change, I'm not interesting anyway.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Terrible.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> I hope so, but were both in a right pickle.
> 
> I'm still stuck in the past in so many ways.
> 
> Just too much stress trying to be an adult. I've always failed miserably at it.


i guess just keep taking steps, even if they are very small ones or you are crawling....


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

I don't get people cheering..

It's not that i envy them or anything? But it's just so weird to me.

Every time i was happy, there was always this little voice in the back of my head saying:
_
"Don't worry.. this won't last long. Something bad is going to happen in 3....2....1.."_

I've been in war zones for so long, it's almost second nature to keep your head down, and not make yourself a target by dancing or capering about when something nice happens. I just learned to say: "That's great".. and keep going.. ya' know?

Now winning the lottery?? Oh hell yeah.. i'm going to dance and make a damn fool of myself.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Pete Beale said:


> Just too much stress trying to be an adult. I've always failed miserably at it.


Yeah. I avoided being one most of my life.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry


----------



## Crisigv

Bad


----------



## tea111red

pooooooooiiisooooooon

ed.


----------



## tea111red

man, i miss having someone irl that liked that i exist more than ever.


----------



## funnynihilist

Like it's time to bring on the dranks! Here they come!


----------



## loneranger

I wish I wasn't the only child, but not sure.


----------



## loneranger

My second feeling: Wow, another rare winter event for us tommorrow. Crazy!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J120AZ using Tapatalk


----------



## tea111red

i need the comfort of a man. it's driving me mad not having it...driving me even more mad not really having any prospects. some stranger looking at me or whatever means nothing. 

ugh. i feel really starved/deprived for affection.


----------



## quietRiot10

On edge/uncertain


----------



## EarthDominator

These lyrics describe my current feeling, thoughts and emotions:

_Do you know what its like when
Youre scared to see yourself
Do you know what its like when
You wish you were someone else
Who didnt need your help to get by
Do you know what its like
To wanna surrender

Do you now what its like when
Youre not who you wanna be
Do you know what its like to
Be your own worst enemy
Who sees the things in me I cant hide
Do you know what its like to wanna surrender
_


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> i need the comfort of a man. it's driving me mad not having it...driving me even more mad not really having any prospects. some stranger looking at me or whatever means nothing.
> 
> ugh. i feel really starved/deprived for affection.


:frown2: :squeeze


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Not good. It's just one of those days.

With depression, it always feels like a race between death and life. Who's the fastest and which one will cheat to win? Nobody knows. When I see strong celebrities who had so much kill themselves because they had depression, it doesn't give much hope to a bottom of the barrel guy like me.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired/awake with a sore knee


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like a rotten banana.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Scrub-Zero said:


> Not good. It's just one of those days.
> 
> With depression, it always feels like a race between death and life. Who's the fastest and which one will cheat to win? Nobody knows. When I see strong celebrities who had so much kill themselves because they had depression, it doesn't give much hope to a bottom of the barrel guy like me.


I ****ing feel you mate. :squeeze:



Canadian Brotha said:


> Tired/awake with a sore knee


*virtually rubs your knee better* :wink2: 



SamanthaStrange said:


> Like a rotten banana.


I was looking through my wardrobe once and thought, the **** is that, the **** is this?, and it was a tiny, dehydrated jet black banana that I'd left behind in there from a packed lunch, about six months earlier. It had shrunk about 6 times it's size. It didn't rot or grow mold.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pete Beale said:


> I was looking through my wardrobe once and thought, the **** is that, the **** is this?, and it was a tiny, dehydrated jet black banana that I'd left behind in there from a packed lunch, about six months earlier. It had shrunk about 6 times it's size. It didn't rot or grow mold.


How bizarre, lol.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Wrong thread, but thinking about how much of a laugh I had with her at times.

Wish things could be different. She was ****ing great the vast majority of the time. Sigh.

Trying not to think about her at all, but it's hard.

Is it the end of our story? I genuinely don't know regardless of what's happened. Time WILL tell!


----------



## Smallfry

Physically and mentally drained


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SamanthaStrange said:


> How bizarre, lol.


It's gonna get weirder. The banana was actually mummified! :O


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Smallfry said:


> Physically and mentally drained


Same here Smallfry, even though I've done nothing physical.

Where are you from btw?


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

lord..

wearing corsets can be sexy?

And they also help with not eating as much..

They are also like walking around being constantly hugged around the middle.

They're not supposed to hurt, or cause physical problems. They will if you wear them too tight..

Otherwise, they help with my posture. 

One day, i was at a tire mechanic's garage. While sitting in the waiting room while wearing a corset, i had to re-learn to sit straight while reading, versus comfortably slouching in the chair..

I looked up, and noticed that every one that was slumping before? Were suddenly sitting up straight in their chairs, stealing glances in my direction.

All it takes is one..:lol


----------



## Scrub-Zero

SamanthaStrange said:


> Like a rotten banana.


If you're not too rotten, we can still make a good banana cake out of you 
Those are pretty comforting when you're depressed 
hopefully that didn't sound too lame lol.



Pete Beale said:


> I ****ing feel you mate. :squeeze:


Thanks, mate. I know you have it difficult lately, so hugs to you too. Feeling a bit better now at least. Good enough not to cry at random and feeling hopeless.


----------



## discoveryother

Pete Beale said:


> It's gonna get weirder. The banana was actually mummified! :O


when i die, i wanna go in your wardrobe. looks pretty effective.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Scrub-Zero said:


> If you're not too rotten, we can still make a good banana cake out of you
> Those are pretty comforting when you're depressed
> 
> Thanks, mate. I know you have it difficult lately, so hugs to you too. Feeling a bit better now at least. Good enough not to cry at random and feeling hopeless.


I'll be back to feeling godawful in the morning no doubt. lol



andy1984thesecond said:


> when i die, i wanna go in your wardrobe. looks pretty effective.


OK

I'll put you in Banana Man PJ's as well, or something.


----------



## quietRiot10

Chilled out.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

quietRiot10 said:


> Chilled out.


Nice to see a positive post. 

Where you from btw?


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Ineffectual


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pete Beale said:


> It's gonna get weirder. The banana was actually mummified! :O


:O



Scrub-Zero said:


> If you're not too rotten, we can still make a good banana cake out of you
> Those are pretty comforting when you're depressed
> hopefully that didn't sound too lame lol.


Yes, please make me into banana cupcakes.


----------



## Chris S W

I feel so bad.


----------



## Delicious yams

I feel pretty good but I'm not sure why. I don't think that's a bad thing though.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad


----------



## funnynihilist

I think I ate some bad cheese :-|


----------



## quietRiot10

Pete Beale said:


> Nice to see a positive post.
> 
> Where you from btw?


Hey Pete :smile2: Currently London based. And yourself?

I'm feeling swell today as no work!


----------



## Crisigv

Tired. The pain in my feet and back kept me up for a lot of the night. No relief right now either.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

quietRiot10 said:


> Hey Pete :smile2: Currently London based. And yourself?
> 
> I'm feeling swell today as no work!


Just outside of Birmingham.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Tired. The pain in my feet and back kept me up for a lot of the night. No relief right now either.


Awwww. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired and lonely.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I feel so ill with all this. :frown2:

I've tried to force myself to sleep today but my body has forced me out of bed.

It would have been easier if she'd passed away.

I'm too ****ing emotional.

Wish I hated her and didn't give a ****, and it was all water off a ducks back. 

It's not just her though, I really don't know wtf to do with myself.

Just feel like choices are limited because of issues.

She was a massive distraction for me, so now all my **** is hitting me full force.

Relied on her way too much.

PS

Sorry for everyone else who feels like crap. Wish I could do something to help! :frown2:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

ANX1 said:


> Tired and lonely.


Same mate. :frown2::squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Same mate. :frown2: :squeeze


Thanks mate. 

Your kindness is much appreciated. 

About your lost love, feeling down, chin up mate.


----------



## noonecares

Lonely


----------



## Lohikaarme

Pete Beale said:


> It's gonna get weirder. The banana was actually mummified! :O


Idk why, but that made me laugh.
It kinda looks like cloth.


----------



## Johnny Walker

I don't feel good, it was a rough day for me.


----------



## Kevin001

Meh....No fever just cough and bad nose.


----------



## tea111red

blah.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@noonecares

Sorry to hear. 

@Johnny Walker

Hope you feel better after some sleep. 

@Kevin001

Sounds like getting better mate. 

@tea111red

:hug


----------



## Kevin001

ANX1 said:


> @Kevin001
> 
> Sounds like getting better mate.


A tad


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Restless and lonely.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

SamanthaStrange said:


> Restless and lonely.


Moody and lonely


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Canadian Brotha said:


> Moody and lonely


I'm moody too, but it kinda goes without saying, lol. :b


----------



## Canadian Brotha

SamanthaStrange said:


> I'm moody too, but it kinda goes without saying, lol. :b


Ah, but we can say them both in unison with grimace and grime declaring our collective grief for all to hear far and wide, and it shall be known, and all shall tremble at our forth coming wrath when our moods sway to anger...or some such BS, lol. Hope you feel better soon


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Canadian Brotha said:


> Ah, but we can say them both in unison with grimace and grime declaring our collective grief for all to hear far and wide, and it shall be known, and all shall tremble at our forth coming wrath when our moods sway to anger...or some such BS, lol. Hope you feel better soon


:lol Thanks, I hope you feel better soon too.


----------



## funnynihilist

Got a trunk load of stuff to donate tomorrow and that makes me feel good!
Should it be alarming when a person gets more thrill out of getting rid of stuff rather than acquiring more?
I have a strong urge to liquidate my life.


----------



## CNikki

A little bit down as I am reminded of the reality with certain things. Don't think I should get into detail about them right now.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Kevin001 said:


> A tad


Good to hear.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

CNikki said:


> A little bit down as I am reminded of the reality with certain things. Don't think I should get into detail about them right now.


:hug


----------



## zonebox

I haven't been posting much online lately, it just seems so pointless, everything that needs to be said has been said by multiple people so many times, and I always end up feeling like it is useless. Every time I go to a youtube channel and read the comments, it is like I have read them a million times before, and rarely do I see anything that is new and different. The same can be said for any news site or social media outlet with comments enabled, the same things just over and over. I'm afraid I have just been on the Internet for too many years, I have grown to know what to expect to see. 

It is the same with everything I write, in fact I can do a google search with a few key words and there my thoughts are, expressed (often more eloquently) by someone else. Then I start thinking, how much am I letting my ego take control of my fingertips, and just how selfish it is for every single post I make. There are so many times I write something, it could go on and on for several paragraphs, but I just delete it all.. It has already been said, my thoughts are not needed, I know what the responses will likely be, it is only being done out of a desire for some form of entertainment that no longer entertains.

I need to get a hobby that will keep my mind distracted, one that requires focus. Video games are great for doing that, but after a while I find they do not quite cut it. 

I'm doing pretty good, despite everything I wrote above. Just a little bored, that is all.

edit:
btw, I feel selfish and egotistical for posting this drivel as well :/


----------



## tea111red

i'm bored, but feeling some weird surreal feeling, too.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lost & out of sync


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Mad

(By mere coincidence I'm sure, it has taken me many tries to post this, because it keeps giving me the utterly stupid 30-second timeout and then I go to another thread in a new tab and post something, then come to this tab and resend it and then again I get the 30-second timeout which is making me even more ****ing MAAAD!)


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I'm feeling okay today. Depression has finally lifted up enough to give me some breathing room. I decided to go for a long walk now, so things should be even better when I get back. Hopefully.


----------



## zonebox

Scrub-Zero said:


> I'm feeling okay today. Depression has finally lifted up enough to give me some breathing room. I decided to go for a long walk now, so things should be even better when I get back. Hopefully.


I hate those episodes of depression that stick around, and am glad to see you are out of it.


----------



## twistix

Lost. I don't know what I should do.


----------



## tea111red

another weird coincidence happened.


----------



## tea111red

feeling suicidal again.


----------



## SofaKing

tea111red said:


> feeling suicidal again.


I've kind of accepted my thoughts more like fantasies that'll never happen.

:hugs


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> feeling suicidal again.


:hug:hug:hug:hug:hug:hug:hug:hug


----------



## Kevin001

Better....just some lingering symptoms that shouldn't be an issue.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I really need to block out that today I'm ****ing 40. :frown2:

I felt so much better than this this time last year. 

Planned to go into the city today but couldn't do it. Pointless when I can barely drag my arse out of bed.

Not heard **** from her either, which is hardly ****ing surprising is it.

I actually contacted Lincolnshire Police last night to see if what she said she'd done was real, because I wasn't 100% sure if it was the truth or not.

Got an email this morning saying they couldn't confirm anything because of the data protection act, but they advised me to not contact her, because they don't issue harassment warnings, they just go straight to arrest.

It's like she's forgot that she attacked me and I could have had her done for assault, and have evidence to prove she assaulted me.

Of course I'd never do that because I'm not an arsehole who wants to put someone I care and worry about, with issues like hers through that.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> feeling suicidal again.


:frown2::squeeze

Wish I could transfer you a load of cash to get you into a better situation.

I want to be this places not so secret millionaire.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling like miserable, worthless garbage that isn't loved or wanted.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Feeling like miserable, worthless garbage that isn't loved or wanted.


:hug :hug :hug :hug :hug :hug :hug :hug


----------



## big mouth billy bass

Feel like ****. Want to drink but can't afford alcohol at the moment - drink is my only escape. Can't motivate myself to do anything, so just lying on my sofa with the lights switched off. I hate myself and I want to die.


----------



## scintilla

Tired. Sad. 

I wish I had more friends, real corporeal people that cared about me and that I could hang out with.


----------



## SofaKing

Pete Beale said:


> I really need to block out that today I'm ****ing 40. :frown2:
> 
> I felt so much better than this this time last year.
> 
> Planned to go into the city today but couldn't do it. Pointless when I can barely drag my arse out of bed.
> 
> Not heard **** from her either, which is hardly ****ing surprising is it.
> 
> I actually contacted Lincolnshire Police last night to see if what she said she'd done was real, because I wasn't 100% sure if it was the truth or not.
> 
> Got an email this morning saying they couldn't confirm anything because of the data protection act, but they advised me to not contact her, because they don't issue harassment warnings, they just go straight to arrest.
> 
> It's like she's forgot that she attacked me and I could have had her done for assault, and have evidence to prove she assaulted me.
> 
> Of course I'd never do that because I'm not an arsehole who wants to put someone I care and worry about, with issues like hers through that.


Happy Birthday


----------



## SofaKing

Crisigv said:


> Feeling like miserable, worthless garbage that isn't loved or wanted.


Untrue


----------



## harrison

Sad. Woke up through the night thinking about Harrison (the real one) - our labrador. We had to put him down 2 days ago. Such a horrible thing to have to do - and to know we have that power over them. He was lame and very old and couldn't get up anymore - we're going to miss him.


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> *I really need to block out that today I'm ****ing 40. :frown2:*


Happy Birthday.

Forty's a fantastic age - just ask anyone older than that and they'll tell you. 

I had a great time in my 40's - well, I think I did - can't remember a fair bit of it, but I'm pretty sure it was good.

It doesn't matter how old you are - it's your attitude that counts.

Hope you have a great day anyway mate.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Thanks @harrison and @SofaKing.:smile2:

Sorry to hear about your old wammel (It's what we call dogs in The Black Country) mate. No doubt he had a good life.


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> Thanks @harrison and @SofaKing.:smile2:
> 
> Sorry to hear about your old wammel (It's what we call dogs in The Black Country) mate. No doubt he had a good life.


Thanks - yes he did, he was very spoilt. At the end he even had his own physio-therapist. (my wife insisted) I didn't know such a thing existed.  Amazing. He was a lovely old bloke though.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> :frown2::squeeze
> 
> Wish I could transfer you a load of cash to get you into a better situation.
> 
> I want to be this places not so secret millionaire.


thank you....that's a kind thing to say. thank you for your support. 



SofaKing said:


> I've kind of accepted my thoughts more like fantasies that'll never happen.
> 
> :hugs





ANX1 said:


> :hug <insert a lot of hugs>


thanks to both of you for your support.


----------



## zonebox

I'm worried about my younger brother, he was fired from his job and doesn't have any place to go. I would let him stay here, but he has a really bad drug problem, and is an alcoholic.. I can't have that in my house, it is one thing to drink on a weekend at night.. it is another to be drunk all day, every day, doing heavier drugs, tripping out, acting belligerent, etc. I just can't do that, it would be irresponsible. He is in his late 30s now, and my parents won't take him for the same reason, my other brothers can't do it.. so he is likely to be homeless.

I tried to suggest to my father that we all could pool some money together to get him a place to stay, but he said no. I can't really blame my father, he is now in his 70s and knows that that money would probably go towards his drug and alcohol habit. I can't afford to give him rent money on my own, I know my older brother could help out, and we have another on top of that who might, but even then, that would still put a huge sink in our budget, and put us in a difficult spot. It is likely he would eventually use that money to purchase drugs. 

All of the drugs through the years have destroyed him, he is delusional, paranoid, and gets a really mean streak. I don't know what to do, We can't support him forever, but the alternative is him likely dying in a ditch while drunk and high, or being murdered. I can't let him live here, because he is too unstable, he would be thrown out of a shelter.. 

So, I'm feeling pretty ****ty right now. I'm going to give him a call in a few days, once I figure something out, but right now I'm at a loss.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> thanks to both of you for your support.


You're welcome.


----------



## komorikun

zonebox said:


> I'm worried about my younger brother, he was fired from his job and doesn't have any place to go. I would let him stay here, but he has a really bad drug problem, and is an alcoholic.. I can't have that in my house, it is one thing to drink on a weekend at night.. it is another to be drunk all day, every day, doing heavier drugs, tripping out, acting belligerent, etc. I just can't do that, it would be irresponsible. He is in his late 30s now, and my parents won't take him for the same reason, my other brothers can't do it.. so he is likely to be homeless.
> 
> I tried to suggest to my father that we all could pool some money together to get him a place to stay, but he said no. I can't really blame my father, he is now in his 70s and knows that that money would probably go towards his drug and alcohol habit. I can't afford to give him rent money on my own, I know my older brother could help out, and we have another on top of that who might, but even then, that would still put a huge sink in our budget, and put us in a difficult spot. It is likely he would eventually use that money to purchase drugs.
> 
> All of the drugs through the years have destroyed him, he is delusional, paranoid, and gets a really mean streak. I don't know what to do, We can't support him forever, but the alternative is him likely dying in a ditch while drunk and high, or being murdered. I can't let him live here, because he is too unstable, he would be thrown out of a shelter..
> 
> So, I'm feeling pretty ****ty right now. I'm going to give him a call in a few days, once I figure something out, but right now I'm at a loss.


Yeah, it's a tough one when a family member can't support themselves. Even worse if they have alcohol or drug addiction. Letting someone stay with you for several months is especially not easy if you live with other people. You live with your wife and kids, right?

My sister seems to have a financial crisis 2-4 times a year where she can't pay the rent or some other important expense. I'd let her stay with me but she has a dog and I generally don't bother to live in apartments that allow dogs since I don't plan on ever getting a dog myself. I could probably help her financially but then I'd have zero savings of my own. Very unlikely that she would ever pay it back either. She is adamant on keeping the dog and living in a very expensive city.

Now we live thousands of miles away from each other so even if my place did allow dogs, she couldn't stay here.


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Very sad all of a sudden 
Even tho something cool I bought is going to arrive today and I'm supposed to be happy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## funnynihilist

Enjoy your thing


----------



## EarthDominator

Lonely, soulless and sad. 

I don't even feel alive anymore, since the last piece of self-worth, which already was extremely small, is taken away.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Same old ****. Need a ****ing miracle.


----------



## scintilla

Callsign said:


> Isn't it that there is essential human feedback that helps empathy along, that you don't get on video and certainly not text. I have tried to line up the eyes in video calls before by looking at the camera, though that's not really achieving the two-way purpose. Augmented reality could be good but then you aren't getting enough oxytocin perhaps, we don't want that just from pets.


You are exactly right. It just isn't enough the majority of the time.


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad one more day of work....game tomorrow.....church too.....just smiling knowing whats to come .


----------



## zonebox

komorikun said:


> Yeah, it's a tough one when a family member can't support themselves. Even worse if they have alcohol or drug addiction. Letting someone stay with you for several months is especially not easy if you live with other people. You live with your wife and kids, right?


Yeah, with the kids it just is not going to happen. I can't put them through that, they need a stable home which we have provided them. I know my brother would try his best, but he can't help himself, he just never built a coping mechanism for life and always turns toward substances to get him through the day.



komorikun said:


> My sister seems to have a financial crisis 2-4 times a year where she can't pay the rent or some other important expense. I'd let her stay with me but she has a dog and I generally don't bother to live in apartments that allow dogs since I don't plan on ever getting a dog myself. I could probably help her financially but then I'd have zero savings of my own. Very unlikely that she would ever pay it back either. She is adamant on keeping the dog and living in a very expensive city.
> 
> Now we live thousands of miles away from each other so even if my place did allow dogs, she couldn't stay here.


The frustrating part, is my brother was doing really well for the past decade. He found a job where for the most part, he worked alone, was doing labor, and he was a dependable worker (somehow). While he still got drunk all of the time, did drugs, he still was able to go into work every day, and accomplish everything that needed to be done. I just don't see him getting another job that will offer him as much freedom as his last one, especially not a manual labor job that pays 40 grand a year, like this previous one did.

Until last year, he was making more than both my wife and I combined, and it is frustrating that he did nothing with it, that he did not put anything away, he doesn't even have a car right now. He paid less in rent than we do for our mortgage, did not have a car payment, did not pay to feed kids, insure them, etc.. and has nothing to show for it.. Now we have to find a way to help him out, grrr!

I knew this was going to happen eventually, and always told him to buy some land, and put a small home on it. It was within his means, but with his lousy financial skills he never had any money. I think that is probably what I'll try to convince my brothers of doing, and perhaps I can get my father on board as well, because once we have purchased a small plot of land, and something for him to live in, we won't have to worry about paying rent for him on a monthly basis.

It is difficult to do, because he also lives a long distance away. I'm in Florida, he is in New England, so I can't help him get his life together in person.

We'll see, perhaps he will find another job paying a decent wage.


----------



## SofaKing

Deeply saddened by the loss of my friend to suicide on 12/11. I grieved, but today is the memorial service and it's all grief all over again.

What a waste.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> Deeply saddened by the loss of my friend to suicide on 12/11. I grieved, but today is the memorial service and it's all grief all over again.
> 
> What a waste.


:frown2:

I'm sorry mate! :squeeze


----------



## moondaisy

I want to feel better, so I'm trying my best to reach that ideal state of mind that I always crave for. I've just started a travel blog where I, as an amateur traveler, will share pics, travel tips and my experiences related to the places I visit. So excited rn! And, one final thing, my next route will be Kiev, Ukraine. At least now I got something to be happy with.


----------



## funnynihilist

Yucky


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Deeply saddened by the loss of my friend to suicide on 12/11. I grieved, but today is the memorial service and it's all grief all over again.
> 
> What a waste.


I am so sorry.


----------



## noonecares

Lonely


----------



## Scrub-Zero

zonebox said:


> I hate those episodes of depression that stick around, and am glad to see you are out of it.


Thanks 

Yeah, the bad ones are hard to deal with. This was one was special, in a very bad way.
I know it's bad when I start toying around with the idea of suicide.


----------



## zonebox

Scrub-Zero said:


> Thanks
> 
> Yeah, the bad ones are hard to deal with. This was one was special, in a very bad way.
> I know it's bad when I start toying around with the idea of suicide.


No problem SZ, I'm just glad you got a break from it. This time of year is usually worst, being confined in the house, the holidays, all of that miserable crap that just adds up and everything has a shade of gray to it.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

exhausted
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired of living, in pain, and alone.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

zonebox said:


> No problem SZ, I'm just glad you got a break from it. This time of year is usually worst, being confined in the house, the holidays, all of that miserable crap that just adds up and everything has a shade of gray to it.


For sure, this time of year is like the ultimate test of how lonely you really are :lol. Winter here can be harsh and cold so it's a pain to go out unless you're into the whole outdoor thing. As soon as spring hits and I can ride my bike, I'll be back to happy. Just have to hold down the fort until then haha.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Going to the doctors on monday to see wtf happened to the therapy I was supposed to be getting.

The chronic emptiness, loneliness, loss, avoidance I feel is killing me.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SamanthaStrange said:


> Tired of living, in pain, and alone.


Feel the same girl.

I know nothing about you but would meet you if you were over here to give you some company.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, lonely and bored


----------



## SofaKing

Pete Beale said:


> :frown2:
> 
> I'm sorry mate! :squeeze





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am so sorry.


Thanks, mates...it's been a difficult day, but an important one.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Not Well, Bad back, Bad Neck, Sad, Tired, Angry, Worried. Wishing life was over, already? :stu I mean how much better can one have it, right? Sarcasm.


----------



## Tezcatlipoca

Excited/Anxious!


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Horrible depression and hopelessness.

Haven't felt this bad since I thought I had cancer 3 years ago and it's affecting my family members as well.

In some way's it feels even worse because I feel like I've lost someone to the cancer that is mental illness.

I have to some how pull myself out of this ****.

The no contacting her is really hard but know I won't do it.

I just have to suffer and wait to see what happens.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Terrible


----------



## The Linux Guy

After sleeping away most of the day I feel more rested. My back still hurts, and I still feel less than others.


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh


----------



## The Linux Guy

I'm feeling really really lonely, and a little horny, while my back hurts, kinda worried. Could I just say bleh, and be done with it?


----------



## Crisigv

Uncomfortable with my own body.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> Uncomfortable with my own body.


Sucks to feel like this :squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

Pete Beale said:


> Sucks to feel like this :squeeze


Yeah


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

It's hard to accept that she doesn't want anything to do with me.:|

I still check facebook and the news from the two cities she lives in everyday.

To not even know anything, to not hear anything after nearly 8 years, has left me feeling like complete **** and it all feels surreal and weird.

I need to cut down on doing this and work on myself, but I'm so damn depressed by my own **** and the loss.

Oh well I shall call the docs and get some therapy in the morning. 

I need to give that a go, try this meetup group and start to lose weight.

Maybe down the road I could contact her again if circumstances change for us both, for the better, or I can just move on.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> Yeah


There's jack **** that can be done about some of my body issues. All I can work on is weight loss really.


----------



## noonecares

Lonely


----------



## Mags560

Feeling the same way. Hopefully it passes soon. Hang in there.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Downward spiral. This is gonna be a bad night.


----------



## Rachel NG

SamanthaStrange said:


> Downward spiral. This is gonna be a bad night.


Why, what happened?


----------



## Kevin001

Upset....men disgust me sometimes. So much sexual harassment going on...ugh.


----------



## tea111red

supersizing myself and preparing for the 600 lb life.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Rachel NG said:


> Why, what happened?


My depression is out of control at the moment. But I finally got some sleep, so I am feeling a little better today. Thanks for asking.


----------



## SplendidBob

My body is in some kind of weird permastress mode atm after that course today. Was even weirdly anxious in therapy. Good therapy session though.


----------



## lackofflife

nervous


----------



## Lohikaarme

Releasing recurring negative thoughts to the four winds










You have taught me a great many things primarily about myself and also the ways of the world, and in a way, I thank you for that. But I've bottled you all up for way too long--you have no place here anymore. It's time for me to tell you you have overstayed your welcome.


----------



## Rhythmbat

i´m in starbucks right now. lots of people chattering, good looking well dressed smiling people with jobs that mostly have stable lives... and me. i´m nervous and i´m starting to feel the anxiety building up but i´ll try to stay calm and breathe, because i can´t go anywhere else today anyways. let´s take some chocolate and observe... and watch videos.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Wish I could be grateful for what I have.

My folks are good people and they could die at any time, so part of me wishes I could make the most of my time with them, because some people have no one.

At the same time I'm desperate for my own life, but just can't see it being possible. It's made even harder to accept because of the time I had last year and the year before with "her"


----------



## Ozmae

I feel quite lonely, I don't really have anyone anymore and it's quite depressing...


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

i learned another meditation technique from Youtube.

It's a guided meditation to release stress, anger, hate, anxiety.. And only took 8 minutes to learn..

The problem was, there's this occasional, one piano note that they use to calm the listener.

But for some odd reason, i hear it, and start laughing my as** off..


----------



## Smallfry

Pete Beale said:


> Same here Smallfry, even though I've done nothing physical.
> 
> Where are you from btw?


I'm from Notts


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Smallfry said:


> I'm from Notts


I spent a bit of time in Notts City last year. Lived their a bit with someone who now want's f all to do with me, sigh.

Went to the Robin Hood festival as well.

So many memories, sigh. :frown2:

Where about in Notts btw?


----------



## Crisigv

Trying not to burst into tears at work.


----------



## 0589471

tired, sad, lonely. want to sleep the rest of the year off.


----------



## noonecares

Lonely


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Stressed, tired, worried about my sick loved one.


----------



## jane nair

Sad, pathetic, disappointed.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Awful.


----------



## MrQuiet76

apathetic


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Depression is really bad.

Losing someone in such a way has really had a bad impact on me.

I wish I could talk to her mom about what's happened and how bad this is making me feel.

I don't know when/if I'll ever get over this completely.


----------



## 3stacks

Lonely, scared, ugly and hopeless so just a typical day for me lol


----------



## kesker

SamanthaStrange said:


> Awful.


:squeeze :squeeze :hug :hug

Hope you feel better. I'm sending you good vibes.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

kesker said:


> :squeeze :squeeze :hug :hug
> 
> Hope you feel better. I'm sending you good vibes.


Thank you, my friend. :squeeze


----------



## Kevin001

Overwhelmed but also grateful


----------



## farfegnugen

kind of struggling plus I feel bad for myself, which is never a great mix. I kind of hope it's just the seasonal winter stuff mucking things up.


----------



## SplendidBob

Creeped out. Was at a group earlier, all women except me and it felt a bit like I was a stripper in a ****ing hen night. One of the women making flirty comments just sent me a friend request and two messages on Facebook. I didn't tell her my full name so she must have looked and then searched for me.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

splendidbob said:


> Creeped out. Was at a group earlier, all women except me and it felt a bit like I was a stripper in a ****ing hen night. One of the women making flirty comments just sent me a friend request and two messages on Facebook. I didn't tell her my full name so she must have looked and then searched for me.


So you don't fancy her then?


----------



## ronordar

Is apathethic even an emotion? Or a non-emotion? I'd go for apathethic anyway


----------



## SplendidBob

Pete Beale said:


> So you don't fancy her then?


Hardly relevant.

Hilarious though eh? Picture the reverse, a man making a comment about how he has a thing for women's necks, say, then looking at a woman's neck and laughing and looking at the other men who all also laugh.

Then on complaint afterwards, the woman gets told "well go tomorrow, if you can't handle it, don't go again, don't want you feeling uncomfortable".

Then on telling other people, much amusement.

People can be so ****ing disappointing.


----------



## 3stacks

splendidbob said:


> Creeped out. Was at a group earlier, all women except me and it felt a bit like I was a stripper in a ****ing hen night. One of the women making flirty comments just sent me a friend request and two messages on Facebook. I didn't tell her my full name so she must have looked and then searched for me.


 That's kinda creepy that she found your facebook


----------



## noonecares

Lonely


----------



## Wren611

I stepped on something earlier in the kitchen that cut my foot, one of my guinea pigs may need life-threatening surgery, and a racist has pissed me off tonight.

I'm ****ing great!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

splendidbob said:


> Creeped out. Was at a group earlier, all women except me and it felt a bit like I was a stripper in a ****ing hen night. One of the women making flirty comments just sent me a friend request and two messages on Facebook. I didn't tell her my full name so she must have looked and then searched for me.


That is creepy. :blank


----------



## brownsugah

A bit bothered, but trying hard to keep calm.


----------



## tea111red

bored. 

nothing to look forward to.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Afraid


----------



## farfegnugen

burnt out, which seems silly.


----------



## tea111red

like i'm sinking.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> like i'm sinking.


:hug

Chin up.


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> :hug
> 
> Chin up.


i feel too weak to keep my chin up.......


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Really depressed. Don't know what to do. Not speaking to her, accepting what's happened and that she's gone is really hard.

I'm going to end up feeling suicidal if things don't change.


----------



## quietRiot10

My head feels heavy.


----------



## Lohikaarme

splendidbob said:


> Hardly relevant.
> 
> Hilarious though eh? Picture the reverse, a man making a comment about how he has a thing for women's necks, say, then looking at a woman's neck and laughing and looking at the other men who all also laugh.
> 
> Then on complaint afterwards, the woman gets told "well go tomorrow, if you can't handle it, don't go again, don't want you feeling uncomfortable".
> 
> Then on telling other people, much amusement.
> 
> People can be so ****ing disappointing.


I don't think there's anything wrong with a flirtatious comment or two but laughing at one's expense? Agreed, that was pretty rude of them.


----------



## Crisigv

Really sad


----------



## funnynihilist

Not so good, and ive only been awake for like 5 minutes


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hurt. Uncomfortable. Sad.


----------



## 0589471

another headache, and I hate being at this place (work). :cry


----------



## Kevin001

Overwhelmed


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> i feel too weak to keep my chin up.......


Awww. :hug



Crisigv said:


> Really sad


Awww. :hug



SamanthaStrange said:


> Hurt. Uncomfortable. Sad.


Awww. :hug



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> another headache, and I hate being at this place (work). :cry


Awww. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Kevin001 said:


> Overwhelmed


Plan it out and one part at a time until get it finished.


----------



## farfegnugen

lethargic and unambitious but enjoying chairs that spin in circles


----------



## kesker

not feeling much. i could use some help but i don't know how to ask for it and i don't have faith that I would be worthy of it even if I could. I feel apathetic and blank. virtually everything I do now is just to do it.


----------



## 0589471

kesker said:


> not feeling much. i could use some help but i don't know how to ask for it and i don't have faith that I would be worthy of it even if I could. I feel apathetic and blank. virtually everything I do now is just to do it.


Paul you are ALWAYS worthy!!! :squeeze hang in there, we'll get you inspired again yet!!!


----------



## kesker

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Paul you are ALWAYS worthy!!! :squeeze hang in there, we'll get you inspired again yet!!!


:squeeze thanks Alie.


----------



## Eternal Solitude

My life is on autopilot at the moment. Although I’m not as hysterical and as impulsive as I was a few months ago. I am still struggling to find a reason to continue... if I were to be objective, my life is not bad at the moment, aside from the bad memories that come to haunt from time to time.

If I were to describe how I’m feeling it would be : empty but comfortably numb. Not sad , not happy... but the show must go on.

Can a person live without dreams or aspirations? Sometimes I wish I could revert to a more primitive or animalistic state. That way my only preoccupations would be short term goals: eat , sleep and repeat.


----------



## noonecares

Lonely


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Empty inside and lonely, but well enough to start my workout.


----------



## funnynihilist

Sinus headache


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Ella29



@Pete Beale

Need to keep your mind occupied with something else.

@quietRiot10

Might be tired

@funnynihilist

Probably just waking up.

@farfegnugen

Probably tired.

@kesker



@Eternal Solitude

Set some bigger goals and go for it. Only limitation is yourself.

@noonecares



@Scrub-Zero

I hope you feel better after your workout.

@funnynihilist


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Trapped. Alone. Hopeless.


----------



## 0589471

misunderstood; my coworker made a comment that I always hand off my work. No, I give her things that are HERS...we're in charge of specific accounts. sorry that people keep giving me work that isn't mine to begin with?? She'd easily give me mine if she were in my place. irritated that she gets an attitude everytime I have to give her work that is hers.


----------



## SplendidBob

Finished code club, neck pain again part way through. Sucks as I quite enjoyed it, but I don't know if its going to be wise to continue, see how it is tomorrow. At least I suppressed the irritation well and haven't let it totally **** my mood this time, but its just so annoying now I am actually overcoming the anxiety and actually trying to do stuff.


----------



## Kevin001

Ok I guess....trying to take things one day at a time.


----------



## EarthDominator

Words can't describe how bad I am feeling right now, nor can any image reflect me emotions and thoughts. No point in explaining since I simply can't, but all I can say is that I wished I had someone next to me right now. :sigh


----------



## moonchildkayla

I guess I'm alright but sometimes I bring myself down when I start questioning certain things I do like pushing people away or living life afraid...


----------



## Chevy396

I feel like SA is way easier to deal with in a big city than in a small town. There may be more people, but at least you don't know anyone and people mind their own business.

Sent from my Moto G (5) Plus using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

Excited for pizza tomorrow. I know I'm fat.


----------



## ShadowOne




----------



## Kevin001

Grateful and humble


----------



## tea111red

Muhahahahahaha 

Hardyharharhar

:blush


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh


----------



## Johnny Walker

In the weekend im lonely, from monday to friday i feel stressed and anxious. The cycle continues.


----------



## tea111red

Crisigv said:


> Excited for pizza tomorrow. I know I'm fat.


I'd be excited, too.... :lol


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****, exhausted. 

Wake up everyday feeling the same. Never thought I'd go back to being this ****ing depressed again.


----------



## harrison

Leftover of a migraine again - they seem to last longer nowadays, a couple of days. Not surprising with all the stressful stuff happening lately, but the very bright, hot days certainly don't help either.


----------



## caelle

Depressed and lonely. And I have work tomorrow, only my second day. First day was okayish but it's clear I'm very different than my co-workers, which makes things awkward.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Restless, depressed, and lonely, as usual.


----------



## 3stacks

Lonely, sad,really ugly, tired, anxious and bored.


----------



## tea111red

I liked having a "highlight of the day/week."  I want another one. 

I hope a decade doesn't have to pass to get another one...


----------



## Kevin001

Tired...ready for bed


----------



## BAH

Whatevs


----------



## Johnny Walker

Fine and grateful


----------



## harrison

Hot. I think it's probably cooler in Indonesia for God's sake.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

**** because my stupid brain can't forget and won't allow me to move on and focus on myself.


----------



## JayAlone

let down and lonely. Again.


----------



## Kevin001

Disappointed was trying to do my taxes but can't access my old job info.....gotta wait till they ship my stuff through the mail ugh.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I felt so/so before I logged in. Now I'm extremely lonely, and I feel like I'm being punished.


----------



## InIsrahell

Lonely but I'm coping 
Didn't take adderrall and now it's too late cuz I go zzz in few hours !!?


----------



## The Linux Guy

Don't get too attached,
Too Attached,
They don't care,
They don't care,
They don't care!
I understand that it isn't fair,
But they don't care!


----------



## The Linux Guy

Crisigv said:


> Excited for pizza tomorrow. I know I'm fat.


Your a butterball. :grin2:


----------



## SofaKing

LiveWaLearningDisability said:


> Your a butterball. :grin2:


That doesn't seem like a nice thing to say. Am I missing something?


----------



## WillYouStopDave

As usual. Loving tonight and hating tomorrow.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Really tired, but happy as a clam.

Or something.

It is my birthday today. I had an epic three-day gaming/nerdy celebration with someone special* on the weekend, Friday included.

* Yeah, her.

Lol.


----------



## jolene23

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Really tired, but happy as a clam.
> 
> Or something.
> 
> It is my birthday today. I had an epic three-day gaming/nerdy celebration with someone special* on the weekend, Friday included.
> 
> * Yeah, her.
> 
> Lol.


Happy birthday. You two look happy on pictures


----------



## caelle

Feeling proud of myself that I got a real, W4 paying job after 13 years of not having one. And so far it's going pretty well. A lot better than my first two jobs ever went. If I started off with this type of work to begin with, I might not have had so much anxiety about work in the first place.


----------



## The Linux Guy

SofaKing said:


> That doesn't seem like a nice thing to say. Am I missing something?


Your missing something


----------



## SofaKing

LiveWaLearningDisability said:


> Your missing something


If you've got an inside joke with her, probably best to PM so it isn't misconstrued by the rest of us.


----------



## EarthDominator

I now know that people don't want to be friend with me in real life, because of who I am... :rain 

It hurts, but I'll get used to it.


----------



## JohnDoe26

Pensive and scrupulous about spiritual and moral matters.


----------



## farfegnugen

nauseous and a bit spacey - weird day, so far


----------



## Crisigv

LiveWaLearningDisability said:


> Your missing something





SofaKing said:


> If you've got an inside joke with her, probably best to PM so it isn't misconstrued by the rest of us.


So am I, or maybe I just don't remember. No worries. Like u said, I know I'm fat.


----------



## Kevin001

Exhausted, feel like I worked today.


----------



## farfegnugen

Crisigv said:


> So am I, or maybe I just don't remember. No worries. Like u said, I know I'm fat.


You're not fat. You look nice. Enjoy your pizza, guilt free.

I hope I'm not coming down with something. Think I better skip my volunteering tonight, just in case


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

My heads completely ****ed by all this. I haven't been outside for close to a month due to depression. :frown2:


----------



## Kilgore Trout

awful
**** this life
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> My heads completely ****ed by all this. I haven't been outside for close to a month due to depression. :frown2:


Sorry to hear that Pete. You gotta try and get out even if its for a small walk that's what helps me a bit anyway.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> Sorry to hear that Pete. You gotta try and get out even if its for a small walk that's what helps me a bit anyway.


I know mate, but I can't bare coming back here after I've been out and don't want my emotions and feelings triggered by **** I see people doing outside.

Last year I was living life and I was bloody free, away from here, and now, I'm back to this **** again. It was like being free from a life time prison sentence and allowed to spend the summer and start of autumn living life, and now I'm back in the depths of winter again, trapped here as a prisoner again.:|

Life is ****ing cruel.


----------



## Sus y

:flush


----------



## Crisigv

farfegnugen said:


> You're not fat. You look nice. Enjoy your pizza, guilt free.


Lol, thanks


----------



## CNikki

Inadequate for various of reasons.

Just wish I didn't feel so alone. :/


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

CNikki said:


> Inadequate for various of reasons.
> 
> Just wish I didn't feel so alone. :/


Can relate, as that is how I feel at times. Just know you are not alone in feeling that way. :hug


----------



## CNikki

ANX1 said:


> Can relate, as that is how I feel at times. Just know you are not alone in feeling that way. :hug


Once again, thank you for the support. :hug

Sorry that you feel that way, too. You seem so nice and it's rare seeing that in the general population.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

CNikki said:


> Once again, thank you for the support. :hug
> 
> Sorry that you feel that way, too. You seem so nice and it's rare seeing that in the general population.


You're welcome. :hug

Thank you for your kind words. 

A lot of people feel that way (even if married), but keep it to themselves. That is why animals become popular, as is unconditional love.

If see a woman walking a small dog, that is most likely why she has it.


----------



## feels

serotonin machine broke


----------



## goaldigger

9:00 Felt very *positive *to begin the semester
9:15 *Stressed *because of maintenance
10:30 *Relieved *class ended early
11:00 *Irritated*. Class cancelled. Did not receive email
3:30 *Sad*. Ex & New girlfriend are expecting baby soon. _Cried_.
4:00 Check period calendar. "6 days left".
Logical reason for emotions. _Laughed_
4:30 *Productive*
5:00 Browsing SAS. *Content*.


----------



## tea111red

Glad some stuff worked out.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

**** **** **** **** **** **** **** my life
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Kevin001

Still have this cough.....had my lungs checked when I went to the doctor a week and a half ago and they were fine so. Maybe things changed? Idk


----------



## tea111red

I don't fit in anywhere or with any group.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired of struggling.


----------



## TwilightSymphony

I am feeling very and disappointed with my life in general, like most of the time. It's such a pain to live the way I do...


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Upset. I think my job wants me to quit. They haven't been giving me any breaks recently and they aren't working me this week. I think they want me to feel stupid.


----------



## okraaubergine

Feeling rejected 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## brexbre

I'm not in a good mood just depressed, stressed and tired tonight I need to rest


----------



## Crisigv

Quite depressed


----------



## forever in flux

Regretful. Got carried away being overly insulting and belittling in political thread. My opinion remains the same regarding the facts as I see them, but there are less dickish ways to get your points across.


----------



## 3stacks

Sad for no reason as usual.


----------



## wittyusernamehere

Anxious. Very anxious. I'm trying to make some much needed lifestyle changes to better myself (with it being a new year and all that) and the whole thing is stressing me out and making me anxious. Mostly because I feel like I don't even know where to begin. I'm determined to persevere though.


----------



## wyatt26x

I'm feeling okay I guess pretty sleepy haven't been sleeping good lately maybe sleepy isn't the right word more like Restless


----------



## loneranger

Fullload of Anxiety

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J120AZ using Tapatalk


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

I hope my husband gets some good sleep tonight..

We've narrowed it down to GERD.

The problem is, his eating habits.. If you're a certain age, eating pizza with extra cheese and extra thick crust, chips with salsa and sour cream, and a Magnum Double Caramel ice cream bar @ 10:00 at night, probably isn't going to help matters.

Especially if your major past time is sitting on the couch, and surfing the damn internet, and no exercise.


----------



## CNikki

Primarily tired. Otherwise doubtful.


----------



## the end of silence

Pretty decent. Developed some good habits, associating myself with better people for me. And most of all relying on myself first for happiness.


----------



## InIsrahell

My adderrall affect fading and I feel like crying. I had. Fight with my mother and she talks about my grandmother all the time ignoring me completely and I can't stand it so I hang up the phone.


----------



## tea111red

Hideous


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored. Anxious. Depressed. Alone. Same ****, different day.


----------



## Wren611

Relieved and tired.


----------



## forever in flux

Fairly relaxed. I'd like a drink but gotta wait until next weekend. Need to start exercising again soon and get my highs naturally from then on


----------



## moondaisy

Meh. Maybe I just need someone to punch me right in the face.


----------



## AceEmoKid

languid and lackluster


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Haven't been outside for a month, and suspect I won't go anywhere until the meet next sunday. 

Still wishing she would talk to me as well. Leaving the door open for communication because I can't close it yet, no matter what. Just can't bring myself to do it.


----------



## CNikki

Anxious.


----------



## 3stacks

Depressed, anxious, tired and hideous.


----------



## weepingcamellia

Anhedoniaaarrrrrrgh.


----------



## funnynihilist

Bored as usual


----------



## Kevin001

Limited


----------



## Kevin001

Feel like I might be getting sick again....that would be too much for me.


----------



## Rhythmbat

Fatigued. Like my lungs took a biting.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Quite confused. Like I don't matter.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

**** as usual.

I've dragged myself and my quilt off the living room floor and onto the sofa and made myself a coffee.

I'd feel a whole lot better if she made the effort to make up with me and we could talk and chill.

She was basically my comfort rock who stopped me feeling like **** about the state of myself.

My mood would lift instantly if she came back.

Like @Scrub-Zero, I feel like I don't matter.


----------



## Kevin001

Grateful


----------



## Crisigv

Cramping and no energy


----------



## caelle

Angry


----------



## Lohikaarme

Like the machinery is working fine on the whole but every once in a while the cogs will jam. The engine hiccups. I know exactly what is causing the disturbance and the fact I can't do jack **** about this particular spanner in the works is annoying me the most.


----------



## Gothic Cupcakes

I'm feeling decent right now. Been suffering through some heavy depression/anxiety lately and these last few days have been a lot better. Occasional anxiety but better overall


----------



## thomasjune

Pretty good. Nothing to do today but relax all day long.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tea111red

Lonely

.........


----------



## Kevin001

Stressed


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Broken.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

_I'm going slightly mad. It finally happened. I'm one card short of a full deck... _


----------



## SamanthaStrange

_I think I'm a banana tree. _


----------



## 3stacks

SamanthaStrange said:


> _I think I'm a banana tree. _


Because you go bananas?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

3stacks said:


> Because you go bananas?


Maybe. :b

It's a song lyric.


----------



## Crisigv

A little confused, and sad I guess.


----------



## The Library of Emma

Let this be over. -_-


----------



## Ai

Anxious and nauseous. I know I'm not supposed to have caffeine... But my teeeeaaaaaaaa....


----------



## quietRiot10

Impatient


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tense


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Feeling a bit numb. Not in the depressed sense, but more in an emotionless sense. No happiness, no sadness(other than this one thing), just normal balanced thoughts.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Meh.


----------



## loneranger

A bit depressed.


----------



## EarthDominator




----------



## Rachel NG

EarthDominator said:


>


Ha, that's cool


----------



## EarthDominator

Rachel NG said:


> Ha, that's cool


I don't see how though...


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Feeling good. It's been a few days with no depression at all. I could get used to this fast.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Scrub-Zero said:


> Feeling good. It's been a few days with no depression at all. I could get used to this fast.


----------



## Kevin001

EarthDominator said:


>


:laugh:


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Cold


----------



## Jimb086

Pretty good and chill right now actually. Its a nice break from the previous few days. I keep getting stuck in really angry thoughts beyond my control. I love my morning coffee but i think its gotta go. No more caffeine haha.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired and hopeful


----------



## tea111red

Too fatigued and worrying about too many things going wrong to do this thing.


----------



## Kevin001

Ok.....got this one pimple on the back of my head that can't wait till it goes away.


----------



## 3stacks

Paranoid and really self conscious


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Tired and not alive but at least not dead.


----------



## The Library of Emma




----------



## Crisigv

Sad


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Having to force myself into the bath because my depression is so bad. 

Having doubts I'll attend the SA meetup on sunday too. I'm not anxious, just feel so depressed.

Really struggling with not contacting her and wanting to fix things still. It's ****ing tragic. It's been 3 months and 1 week today since I saw her, and a month friday since last contact, and I don't feel any better. It's all just unresolved in my mind. :frown2:


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired, and slightly nauseated. :blank


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

She's trying to get us to go to these referrals..I'm refusing.

I believe, with a bit of work, it all boils down to the same thing..

Diet/Exercise, self care..

It bothers me to no end when a damn physician can be dead wrong, and missing the SYMPTOMS of a case.. but because she's pointing out the obvious, it makes her look as if she's right..

Not today, lady.. you can keep your damn scripts.


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

He came out and apologized for what he did yesterday..

I guess he's an introvert after all?

But i still felt annoyed about it..


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

Learning to mediate to with these videos on YouTube..

Pretty cool..

One of them kind of scared me.. At the end, i could barely focus or concentrate..

Very powerful...


----------



## Crisigv

Feels like I'm losing strength in my legs.


----------



## tea111red

Where is Mr. Right

I'm lonely.

Wonder how I can be at the right place at the right time.


----------



## tea111red

What a suffocating feeling it is thinking about never seeing this person again and being unable to develop stuff more.


----------



## CNikki

Tired and slightly degraded. But I'm used to it, so I can't say that I'm that ticked off.


----------



## moondaisy

I'm feeling sad.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Manic


----------



## loneranger

Irritable. Why we have to do so much stuff online? My whole life is online now. I wish it was the 90s decade now.


----------



## Crisigv

Alone, ugly, fat, old, hated, pointless


----------



## funnynihilist

Headachey


----------



## tea111red

Failed this diet again. :lol


----------



## quietRiot10

Lonely.


----------



## Kevin001

Groggy


----------



## tea111red

I wish I had Adderall to take again. :no


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored. Lonely. Cold. Tired of winter. :bah


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Same **** everyone else is feeling.


----------



## loneranger

So angry with my b**tchy grandma. I don't drink, go to strip clubs, or cause drama like she does and yet I'm the one she gets mad at.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

Hmm, i could make some jackets/clothes out of banknotes sewn together, but i think it'd look too garish color-wise to actually wear, i might get robbed in the street, and It'd probably test positive for cocaine as well. :lol All those contaminated banknotes because of all those damned junkies :|


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling like worthless garbage again.


----------



## Vip3r

Persistence, determination, anxiety and depression is a really bad combination.


----------



## caelle

So so so so so SO tired. But I don't want to sleep.


----------



## SofaKing

Nothing I do is appreciated. 32 stories...seems easier than the daily struggle for the most basic acceptance, validation, or worth.


----------



## tea111red

Damn dog won't stop barking....irritated.


----------



## tea111red

I hate living here too.


----------



## tea111red

I would like to believe I'll see this person again (I think..) but there really isn't a lot to help me believe this.  Feels like I have to think of them as dead, but I don't want to do that.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tea111red said:


> I would like to believe I'll see this person again (I think..) but there really isn't a lot to help me believe this.  Feels like I have to think of them as dead, but I don't want to do that.


I am sorry.  :hug


----------



## tea111red

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am sorry.  :hug


Thanks.


----------



## Kevin001

Stuffy


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> Nothing I do is appreciated. 32 stories...seems easier than the daily struggle for the most basic acceptance, validation, or worth.


:frown2:

I know how you feel mate. Having a rough time myself. I've had a few glimpses of suicide in my mind lately, but I can't do that ****. There's still gotta be hope for us mate!



tea111red said:


> I would like to believe I'll see this person again (I think..) but there really isn't a lot to help me believe this.  Feels like I have to think of them as dead, but I don't want to do that.


Feel the same. Feel like I have to think of them as dead but can't.

I've told myself to give her some space, work on myself, and send her a funny birthday card in 6 months as a gentle form of contact.

I wish she would come back. I wish she needed me.

I know that the only way to contact her and get something out of her again is to literally commit my first act of real life stalking, ffs. She might talk to me then, or, I get arrested.

Part of me doesn't even care about being arrested. It would go on an advanced criminal record check, and be the ultimate end to me trying with her, as I do not want to go to prison and I'm not a murderous crack pot who hates her to the point of wanting to kill her or something.

I don't even hate her at all. I just want to try and fix things because we are both losing out. It seems she's hell bent on getting rid of someone that has been there for her, and some one who can help her take her mind off ****. I know I was a good friend to her. It's the way she's completely cut me out of her life that's really bothering me. It doesn't make sense. It's not something I could ever do.

It's just a mess I can't fix basically, because she's extremely stubborn and want's nothing to do with, doesn't care about me, can't handle being close to me or just being casual friends. I don't know.

Sorry Karrenw for banging on about this **** again.


----------



## Tokztero

It's been a good start to the year so I feel confident.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm feeling so many different temperatures right now, so weird. Skin is clammy because I must have been hot in bed. Also cold, because I just cleaned off some cars of snow. Waiting for my brother to go out so I can steal the bathroom and have a shower.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Feeling some anxiety about tomorrow, but I'm going because I need to do this. Anything is better than sitting here another day, doing the same old ****e, feeling like a bag of ****e.

Spoke to the meet host earlier and they've booked a room at coffee n cake house called Cherry Reds, near the train station. Looks like over 20 people have signed up to go, and it will be interesting to see how many actually turn up.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lost and confused


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Kind of good right now. Tired, though but not sleepy.


----------



## tehuti88

First I assumed it was just "foreveralone" men who couldn't stand me.

Now it turns out my supposed fellow "foreveralone" women don't want me, either. _After_ I went to the trouble of taking my stupid picture (which a fine user here scrawled "Virgin" on and distributed around the site) and asking to join their private group. A private group where I _thought_ I'd be safe and where I _thought_ this hate wouldn't follow me. I was wrong. The hate follows me everywhere.

So right now I'm feeling completely unwanted and like crying. 18 years of online rejection should have taught me. Why did I even ****ing try.


----------



## tea111red

Relaxed


----------



## Kevin001

Overworked


----------



## Wanderlust26

Depressed and pissed off.


----------



## roxslide

Not good. I feel like something is writhing under my skin or like I'm going to vibrate out of existence. Or like I have sleep paralysis but I'm awake but regardless I'm still trapped in my body.


----------



## truant

tehuti88 said:


> A private group where I _thought_ I'd be safe and where I _thought_ this hate wouldn't follow me. I was wrong. The hate follows me everywhere.


Having had an experience like this myself, I'm very sorry. I had really hoped you'd found a better place. 

It's not much, but I am glad to see you again. :squeeze


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Real lonely. Almost unbearably so.


----------



## harrison

tehuti88 said:


> So right now I'm feeling completely unwanted and like crying. 18 years of online rejection should have taught me. Why did I even ****ing try.


Don't worry about those idiots Tehuti. Stay here and talk to us - I've missed your posts.


----------



## 3stacks

Bad! My self esteem is at an all time low. Haven't felt this sad in a couple years. I cant see a good future for me at all, I don't know what to do anymore..


----------



## faithnomore

Feeling like a kid....


----------



## loneranger

Sad but also relieved at same time that my phone still works after all.


----------



## Crisigv

3stacks said:


> Bad! My self esteem is at an all time low. Haven't felt this sad in a couple years. I cant see a good future for me at all, I don't know what to do anymore..


This


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Woke up not feeling good, but better than in a while.

Decided to attend another meet in sunday. This one is a practical, "workshop" type of meet or something. So more focused on doing exercises to tackle anxiety, instead of it being just social.

Just booked an initial telephone counselling session as well for thursday.

Hearing again about the guy who did most of the Brum meets, dying at 41 last year I think it was, made me think more how I need to get on top of this ****.
@3stacks. Sign up for the meetup group mate. Don't waste years like I did. I wasted the vast majority of my youth! It's something for you to do mate!


----------



## 629753

Calm and grounded.


----------



## Crisigv

Like chopped liver


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Ravenous


----------



## EarthDominator

Near-suicidal.

(Maybe the gym will change anything, but I doubt it.)


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Agitated, bored and lonely.

Man it's so hard being this age and being so bloody lonely, and really wanting to connect with someone.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Just messaged a couple of local ladies from the meetup group.

One is super close but she has a couple of kids and I think a partner, but it would still be nice to know someone with SA that's so close to home, who I could meet up with for a chat so easily.

Let's see how this and sundays city meet goes.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Lonely and I can't sleep, so it'll be a long night.


----------



## Kevin001

Kinda sleepy....maybe I should try to get 6+ hrs of sleep for once.


----------



## love is like a dream

unjustified crying


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Been up five minutes and I'm already fed up to death.

All I can think of doing positive is walking around the same done to death area for some exercise, then come back here. Sigh.

Not heard anything from the people I messaged yesterday but it's way too early and probably won't ever here anything. I'd get ready and go out right now if there was someone interested in doing that.

Want to message meet woman but she's too fragile.

Noticed that "her" siblings and mom aren't popping up on my suggested friends list anymore. It's hard to forget about her when I have nothing to do to genuinely take my mind of her. 

So frustrated. So much I need to do, but have to be patient and not sink into depression if things don't work out.


----------



## Crisigv

Tired and miserable. I don't wake up rested anymore. The bad thoughts just get carried through to the next day. No relief.


----------



## forever in flux

Impatient. This forum seems to be getting slower, or perhaps I'm just spending too much time on here lately.

Listened to 'one more light' on repeat about 7 times now. Great album but I'm gonna put a bit of Serj Tankian on now to help me wake up.

Special thanks to @truant for the Velma porn suggestion, that was both hilarious and disgusting. Some of it was genuinely erotic too, which made me feel very confused. I wonder if people actually beat off to cartoon porn? I suppose they must do or there wouldn't be so much of it. People really are curious creatures, I don't know what to make of it all really, I guess if you had no access to genuine porn it might serve as a substitute but I think I'd rather just use my imagination like back in the old days.


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad....just a cloudy day, feeling good though .


----------



## 3stacks

Crisigv said:


> This


Sorry to hear you're feeling the same way. I hope you feel better soon.


----------



## EarthDominator

Sad, but not the usual kind of sad I think. (I think?)

I want to stop complaining about how I feel, but on the other hand, it helps a bit to vent it out. But, again on the other side of it I don't want to complain either. :roll 

Sigh, I'll probably lose my mind soon, that's for sure.


----------



## TheClown7

Relieved, anxious, scared. 

I just sent my resignation letter. Hoping for better things in my future.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Just had a really vivid dream where I completely broke down sobbing to myself, but felt more pain than I've done in real life when I've broke down. Really ****ing weird and I'm glad I'm awake from that ****. I'd rather have sleep paralysis dreams than feel how bad I felt during that. wtf.


----------



## Taaylah

Like I never want to speak or deal with anyone in person again.


----------



## Aly

hungover


----------



## loneranger

Miserable, lonely, and ignored.


----------



## EarthDominator

loneranger said:


> Miserable, lonely, and ignored.


Although it won't give comfort, you're not the only one out there.


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

I just finished watching Requiem For a Dream..

Couldn't help myself.. Now every time i hear that movie soundtrack, i have a literal gut reaction..


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored, agitated, lonely but need to be calm and patient.


----------



## thomasjune

I feel guilty. Should move closer to my mom. She's getting old and I should be around more often.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Not good. On edge, sad, lonely. Life has no future and stuff. It's even grimmer in my head. Not a nice place to stay today, but where can I go?


----------



## Lohikaarme

I'm not looking to be found
Just want to feel (un)lost


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I'm so ****ing lonely. I wish the meet was tomorrow, but after that there won't be another for a month. Well, there will be a book meet but I'm not a reader.

I wish I could send meet woman a message without scaring her off, ffs.

Spending so much time with someone last year has really made me realize how desperate I am for company.

I feel like I cannot be alone and happy at all now. 

It's like I've opened myself up to something and cannot go back.

It went so ****ing well with her and I really, desperately want that back with someone else.

Life is ****ing cruel.


----------



## Crisigv

3stacks said:


> Sorry to hear you're feeling the same way. I hope you feel better soon.


Thank you. Likewise.


----------



## truant

forever in flux said:


> Special thanks to truant for the Velma porn suggestion


Yw. Just doing my part to destroy people's childhoods and corrupt the masses.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, sad, and lonely.


----------



## CNikki

Like my day was just about saved thanks to a dear friend of mine. I really owe it to them.


----------



## loneranger

Dreadful about tommorrow.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J120AZ using Tapatalk


----------



## idkimbored

I have nobody to talk to so I'm gonna post on here I guess

I have this friend were gonna call her spaghetti. I've known her since kindergarten but not until the last school year we are in the same classes and we're friends again. last year she was my best friend and yea we both we're goofing off all the time in class and we had a lot of inside jokes and just little things I guess that make us such good friends, but I knew that I wasn't her best friend and I was okay with that. around springtime spaghetti started talking to me less in school (we would still text all the time) and she started becoming better friends with other people in our class. I'm friends with them too no shade to them but I just didn't feel happy anymore. in school she was the person I would hang out with or do hoemwork with and i started feeling like that was it. we started to only interact mainly when we did partner assignments and over text. I started developing pretty bad depression and I made it obvious to most of my friends including spaghetti that I was upset, but nobody noticed. I never wanted to go to school, I would fake sick (I had around 10 absences that year and about 7 were me faking sick) and I knew I wasn't myself anymore. I felt very alone and on the last day of school (our classes were split into two rooms with a door connecting them) we were allowed to just do what we wanted. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to her. I ended that year feeling extremely sad and lonely and I would just cry a lot at night when nobody could hear me. and when people did notice they would ask me if I was okay, and since I wasn't about to break down in the middle of lunch I said I was fine. I even opened up to spaghetti multiple times over text with these super long paragraphs about how sad I was and it's felt like she didn't even care because most of the time she wouldn't try to make me feel better or anything. I knew I was definitely feeling better over the summer and my depression started to fade away little by little. then when this year started we saw that we had a lot of our classes together and I got really happy because I thought I might get my best friend back. and I did for the most part. we don't talk a lot in school, at lunch i sit with her and another friend and she talks to her more than me. I barely talk at lunch. in the classes we have we sit across the room from eachother so we can't even turn around and talk like last year. she's fake as hell. we were in library (we sit in a table of 4) and she was talking to the other girls and I wasn't included in the conversation. I sat quietly on my ipad while I listened to their conversation
girl 1: so when's our field trip?
girl 2: look at the form
girl 3: yea so since we won't have assigned groups it should be me, girl 2, girl 1, (lists off a bunch of other ppl)
me: sits in silence and utter shock that this just happened right in front of me.
I almost got up and left to go anywhere but there. I wanted to cry, i wanted to scream, I wanted to say something. but I didn't. I looked up at my "best friend" with a blank face and she looked at me and then looked back at the other girls almost immediately. she didn't say anything and neither did any of them. I shut my ipad case closed (making sure it made a louder noise than usual) and sighed and walked off to grab my textbook to do homework from the table next to us. I sat back down and I could feel tension between us and I didn't look at any of them but I knew they were exchanging guilty looks but still nobody said anything. also, at lunch "best friend" will be talking to me, then her eyes suddenly will get really big and she looks excited then she whispers something to the other girl and they start giggling and whispering. sometimes I know they're talking about me but it's not always me so I don't know why they wouldn't just tell me. and when I know it's about me I say "what?" and they go "nothing" like u fake *****es I'm gonna smack ur asses to mars. I can't just drop these friends because they're the ones I'm stuck with right now and eventually I'll be able to find a different group. my depression is back, I have frequent anxiety attacks and it's just my life for now. (ive described what's happening during an anxiety attack as it was happening to her and she didn't even give two ****s. what I was describing sounded like I was about to drop dead on the floor and that's how I felt but no response ofc) I'm going on a 12 day vacation in a different country soon and I honestly can't wait to be rid of all these fake people for a while since i won't have wifi or service most of the time.

tl;dr--my friends are ****ty and I'm depressed and anxious all the time and nobody bothers to notice and I hate everyone


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Cold & restless


----------



## Kevin001

Irritated with my skin....will be hot pressing all day tomorrow.


----------



## Flora20

Sad, angry and so alone..


----------



## Lohikaarme

Let it go...


----------



## Johnny Walker

Today wasn't so bad, feeling cool and all i wanna do is try


----------



## Overdrive

good !


----------



## copper

Caught the stomach bug. It’s been going around the Group Homes that I visit frequently. Been home yesterday and today so far.


----------



## thinkstoomuch103

Industrious..

I think we're getting somewhere.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

ill


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Discontent.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sad


----------



## Rhythmbat

Tired and a little hopeless. 
I should buy something for myself since it was Valentine's Day. Just to cheer myself up.


----------



## DiDiZia

I'm feeling very anxious. I have to get up early tomorrow for a maths course. It starts at 9:30am. I'm not used to getting up early, so that's nerve-wracking to me.

To make matters worse, my "father" has decided to stay here for a few days, so I don't feel comfortable using the bathroom on the first level. Then, my sister has come back from uni, and she's on the second level with me, meaning I don't feel comfortable using the bathroom next door to her bedroom (which is kind of like an ensuite.)

Thus, I have to find times when they're out to get washed and use the bathroom, but I can't do that tomorrow morning, because they will both be here. This places me in a very sticky situation.

I feel hopeless and stuck. I feel like there's no point in me doing the maths course. I feel like I should just call it a day, and give up on life. It's just so stressful, and all of the hurt and anxiety isn't worth going through. I'm so tired of feeling like this. I wish my antidepressant (Sertraline 150mg) was more effective, because I feel like ****, and it's not helping my anxiety much, either. I don't think there is any hope out there for me.

Sent from my Moto G Play using Tapatalk


----------



## versikk

today, recognized for my efforts and quirky personality at work. then, coming home to an empty, messy, lonely apartment.

I feel refreshed, in the sense that I feel a personal evolution coming on. I also feel a looming identity dilemma. I also feel lonely and a tiny sliver of hope.
@DiDiZia there are plenty other SSRIs to try. You can (almost quite) effortlessly switch to another SSRI, or just up the dosage of sertraline.

I recommend this list http://realityshrine.blogspot.it/search/label/Chemicals / Drugs / Medicine


----------



## Crisigv

Like a failure. I'm a pathetic excuse of a woman.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired from choking the chicken earlier. Time for bed soon.

There goes some IQ points!!!!1

Lol.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Really, really ****ing lonely. Can't believe I've made it to this age living like this. 

I desperately need someone to give a **** about me before I die.

Just feel constantly **** for months now. 

The meet on sunday isn't for 5 minutes, then I'm back here again feeling like ****.

I need someone to enjoy life with and be active with on a regular basis. 

There's so much I want to do and I'm capable of doing, but I cannot enjoy any of it on my own anymore.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry & annoyed


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pete Beale said:


> Really, really ****ing lonely. Can't believe I've made it to this age living like this.
> 
> I desperately need someone to give a **** about me before I die.
> 
> Just feel constantly **** for months now.
> 
> The meet on sunday isn't for 5 minutes, then I'm back here again feeling like ****.
> 
> I need someone to enjoy life with and be active with on a regular basis.
> 
> There's so much I want to do and I'm capable of doing, but I cannot enjoy any of it on my own anymore.


I can relate to this. It's hard to care about anything when you feel like no one cares about you.


----------



## Chevy396

On fire. I put Tiger Balm all over my body and it's burning my lungs/nose. Feels pretty good on my sore muscles though.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SamanthaStrange said:


> I can relate to this. It's hard to care about anything when you feel like no one cares about you.


:frown2:

I don't know how I've survived this long tbh.

I just sent a woman I met last week a message. I've really tried to hold back from doing this and wait until sunday when I will see her, but I just had to do it.

Hope I don't scare her off. She's too young and fragile I think, but she's someone I think I could be myself around, so I have to take a risk and just try.

I didn't find her intimidating at all, so I could actually speak to her. lol


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SamanthaStrange said:


> I can relate to this. It's hard to care about anything when you feel like no one cares about you.


Where are you from btw?

Maybe I should get my passport renewed and fly over for a date.

Fancy that? lol

I'm feeling manic now (no bipolar)  so anything feels possible.


----------



## kward1

Anorexic & alone.

Sent from my SM-J320P using Tapatalk


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

kward1 said:


> Anorexic & alone.
> 
> Sent from my SM-J320P using Tapatalk


:frown2:

I'm chubby & alone.


----------



## Ai

Inconsequential


----------



## funnynihilist

Blah


----------



## cubsfandave

Bored, uninspired, and feeling the urge to drink


----------



## Crisigv

I'm nothing


----------



## Wanderlust26

Feeling depressed and a bit hopeless. Gonna go eat some chocolate.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lightly toasted


----------



## Kevin001

Kinda sick


----------



## versikk

Sad and lonely

Gonna ingest _some stuff_ and dance around my apartment... let's see how well that works out


----------



## jolene23

Stressed out


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Usual ****e!

I can't deal with going from one extreme to the other. Can't deal with losing my comfort rock. Wish she hadn't done this. I'm too fragile and lonely to deal with this and don't think I'll ever get over it.


----------



## Kevin001

On the fence....either this is something passing or I'll be full blown sick by tomorrow morning.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad. My great uncle just passed away. Problem is that they never told my grandmother her own brother was dying because she isn't well herself. She never got to say goodbye.


----------



## riverbird

Confused, blah, annoyed, yet still hopeful.


----------



## Eyoga888

I'm feeling slightly troubled and sad. Yesterday I was at the worst I'd been for a while and came home last night (I'm a uni student). I feel so vulnerable and fragile and so am more affected by little things at home than i usually would be and im finding that really hard to cope with.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Eyoga888 said:


> I'm feeling slightly troubled and sad. Yesterday I was at the worst I'd been for a while and came home last night (I'm a uni student). I feel so vulnerable and fragile and so am more affected by little things at home than i usually would be and im finding that really hard to cope with.


Hi, I'm from Birmingham but unfortunately I'm 40 so you wont want to talk to me. There's a guy here called @3stacks from Birmingham who you might want to get to know as he's only a year older than you.

Also, there's a birmingham based SA group on meetup.com you might want to attend for real life support. 

Drop me a message though if you do want to talk to someone old enough to be your dad. I feel more 14 than bloody 40 tbh. lol


----------



## Kilgore Trout

I feel the xanax is starting to take effect, and that half a pill was not enough.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Elixir23

I feel very alone, I am tired of everyone taking their **** out on me. I try to b supportive and listen to them when they have problems. Yet when I am going through something, no one is there for me


----------



## NoLife93

I feel trapped with no exit in sight,no motivation,im feeling empty and bored of life.


----------



## Lohikaarme

https://soundcloud.com/stefanoguzzetti/sleepless


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Feel like drinking or going out to a bar somewhere just to sit in a corner and drink while listening to music and looking at people.


----------



## Gloomhouse

I feel sad and heavy. I feel all of my mistakes crushing me. I'm dwelling on the minute adjustments I could've made to avoid them.
I also feel like I may need to use the bathroom in the next 10 minutes. Sigh.


----------



## Kevin001

Sick and irritated


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

In a word, content.



Crisigv said:


> Sad. My great uncle just passed away. Problem is that they never told my grandmother her own brother was dying because she isn't well herself. She never got to say goodbye.


I am so sorry.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Completely **** and I have the SA meet to attend at 4pm.

It'll be a hour and a half of that, then back to feeling like complete **** again.

I need something in life that makes me happy, that doesn't involve other people. I need to be introverted I guess. :/


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I hope I die soon.


----------



## SofaKing

Crisigv said:


> Sad. My great uncle just passed away. Problem is that they never told my grandmother her own brother was dying because she isn't well herself. She never got to say goodbye.


I'm sorry for your loss.

Right or wrong your family made choices out of love.


----------



## fluorish

My legs hurt but I wana go to the gym cause it’s 1 am and I’m not really sleepy. But I don’t like going to the gym at this time. Cause scary people.


----------



## EarthDominator

Tried, lonely and bored.


----------



## SparklingWater

impatient but hopeful


----------



## love is like a dream

Persephone The Dread said:


> I hope I die soon.


no :frown2:


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed, lonely, and bored.


----------



## copper

Still not feeling well. Started last Sunday with stomach pain, soft stool, fatigue. Worked Monday and Tuesday and too the next twodays off. I went in on Friday which I shoukdn’t had. Now today I have pure water stool, lower left back pain, and fatigue. The norovirus is going around at work.


----------



## SplendidBob

****ing miserable. 

1. My plan to make a roadmap to where I want to be in life became too depressing (how far away from it I was and how unobtainable it was) so I couldn't continue with it.
2. My neck is hurting pretty bad today (why? because I private tutored a kid in programming yesterday as per moving towards my goal in 1, I imagine). I don't know though, it just randomly seems to get worse and better.
3. ****ing tired of having to constantly tense my neck muscles in order to maintain "proper posture" so it doesn't get worse
4. Feel generally hopeless.
5. Weight gain is getting scary now and not sure I have the mental health to deal with it this time.
6. Would like to be able to use normal furniture in normal ways like normal people.


----------



## Chevy396

splendidbob said:


> ****ing miserable.
> 
> 1. My plan to make a roadmap to where I want to be in life became too depressing (how far away from it I was and how unobtainable it was) so I couldn't continue with it.
> 2. My neck is hurting pretty bad today (why? because I private tutored a kid in programming yesterday as per moving towards my goal in 1, I imagine). I don't know though, it just randomly seems to get worse and better.
> 3. ****ing tired of having to constantly tense my neck muscles in order to maintain "proper posture" so it doesn't get worse
> 4. Feel generally hopeless.
> 5. Weight gain is getting scary now and not sure I have the mental health to deal with it this time.
> 6. Would like to be able to use normal furniture in normal ways like normal people.


I feel you on most of those points. I don't want to sound like a pusher, but you may want to find something to take for the pain for a few months. I wouldn't recommend kratom since it's illegal there, but can't you get your doctor to prescribe you a daily hydrocodone/apap pill to take during your physical therapy. I know my doctor used to prescribe 30 of those to me per month and I had a history of drug abuse. I don't think I would have been able to get as far as I have correcting my posture without kratom and weed. During the hardest part I would get massive headaches every night that migrated from between my shoulders whenever I would sit or stand for long periods.


----------



## loneranger

It does. Thanks.


----------



## SplendidBob

solutionx said:


> I feel you on most of those points. I don't want to sound like a pusher, but you may want to find something to take for the pain for a few months. I wouldn't recommend kratom since it's illegal there, but can't you get your doctor to prescribe you a daily hydrocodone/apap pill to take during your physical therapy. I know my doctor used to prescribe 30 of those to me per month and I had a history of drug abuse. I don't think I would have been able to get as far as I have correcting my posture without kratom and weed. During the hardest part I would get massive headaches every night that migrated from between my shoulders whenever I would sit or stand for long periods.


About all I could get is codeine and I think I will basically be immune to that due to ordering codeine syrup from the internets lol (yeah, there is that loophole here in the uk amazingly). Been a while though so maybe its worth a shot. If they wont prescribe it, I can just get the syrup and use it for pain rather than the bull**** "decongenstant" its used for (seriously, you couldn't make this **** up).

I have gotten pretty good at tolerating proper posture while standing and walking on the treadmills (that works fine and it almost doesn't ache now, and I can do 2x45 mins without problem, it was difficult to to 1x20 to begin). I just need to force myself into the damn chair.

Will see the doctor though see if they can prescribe some codeine, and use my time locked box to restrict myself.

The main thing here is:

1. I don't really believe this will work (and that produces negativity which leads to giving up etc)
2. I keep wanting to watch tv / films / do stuff in comfort and so resort to sideways bed laptop. I think I am just going to have to make that impossible to do.

What is interesting is that the treadmill posture walking has near 100% cured my lower back problem. The neck just seems so much more tricky because it's unbelievably easy to go into forward neck posture.

Get some milk from the fridge and bent forwards, just made it 0.01% worse
Just took a **** and strained leaning forwards, just made it 0.05% worse
Wrote something on a table, just made it 0.05% worse

It all seems to add up and its really damn difficult to maintain posture like this forever. But I just have to remind myself that it has been working (to some degree) and its all I have left to try.

Throw in a low mood day and its just another turd in the turd bucket of my brain that takes it ever closer to overflowing


----------



## Crisigv

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am so sorry.





SofaKing said:


> I'm sorry for your loss.
> 
> Right or wrong your family made choices out of love.


Thanks


----------



## Chevy396

splendidbob said:


> About all I could get is codeine and I think I will basically be immune to that due to ordering codeine syrup from the internets lol (yeah, there is that loophole here in the uk amazingly). Been a while though so maybe its worth a shot. If they wont prescribe it, I can just get the syrup and use it for pain rather than the bull**** "decongenstant" its used for (seriously, you couldn't make this **** up).
> 
> I have gotten pretty good at tolerating proper posture while standing and walking on the treadmills (that works fine and it almost doesn't ache now, and I can do 2x45 mins without problem, it was difficult to to 1x20 to begin). I just need to force myself into the damn chair.
> 
> Will see the doctor though see if they can prescribe some codeine, and use my time locked box to restrict myself.
> 
> The main thing here is:
> 
> 1. I don't really believe this will work (and that produces negativity which leads to giving up etc)
> 2. I keep wanting to watch tv / films / do stuff in comfort and so resort to sideways bed laptop. I think I am just going to have to make that impossible to do.
> 
> What is interesting is that the treadmill posture walking has near 100% cured my lower back problem. The neck just seems so much more tricky because it's unbelievably easy to go into forward neck posture.
> 
> Get some milk from the fridge and bent forwards, just made it 0.01% worse
> Just took a **** and strained leaning forwards, just made it 0.05% worse
> Wrote something on a table, just made it 0.05% worse
> 
> It all seems to add up and its really damn difficult to maintain posture like this forever. But I just have to remind myself that it has been working (to some degree) and its all I have left to try.
> 
> Throw in a low mood day and its just another turd in the turd bucket of my brain that takes it ever closer to overflowing


Once it becomes second nature your muscles will automatically snap to whatever posture you trained them to, then it will work wonders. Keep at it, it's working for me. I thought my coding days were over, but I'm starting to get cravings again now that I can sit up right.


----------



## Chevy396

^ Something else that works is Tiger Balm. It smells horrible and will make your whole house smell like menthol, but it does wonders topically for muscle pain. Similar to a massage in the hot tub.


----------



## SplendidBob

@solutionx ah yeh, have discovered that stuff, its the smell issue thats the problem lol. (I have problems with smell), that and it doesn't work for too long. Maybe I just have to bite the bullet and tolerate it again.


----------



## Chevy396

splendidbob said:


> @solutionx ah yeh, have discovered that stuff, its the smell issue thats the problem lol. (I have problems with smell), that and it doesn't work for too long. Maybe I just have to bite the bullet and tolerate it again.


Maybe you could use nose plugs?


----------



## SplendidBob

solutionx said:


> Maybe you could use nose plugs?


----------



## Chevy396

splendidbob said:


>


Oh yeah, heating pads are great too. There have been some nights when I couldn't get to sleep without one.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Thanks


No problem.


----------



## CNikki

A bit emotional, which sucks.


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh


----------



## Kevin001

Sick


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Sad. My great uncle just passed away. Problem is that they never told my grandmother her own brother was dying because she isn't well herself. She never got to say goodbye.


Sorry to hear. :hug

R.I.P Great Uncle of this woman.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Satisfied that I successfully cleaned off black mold from the shower with just vinegar and baking soda. I still can't believe how cheap yet effective they are. On top of that, they're completely safe. ^_^


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Wanderlust26 said:


> Satisfied that I successfully cleaned off black mold from the shower with just vinegar and baking soda. I still can't believe how cheap yet effective they are. On top of that, they're completely safe. ^_^


Only pure bleach gets rid of black mould properly and wipe off with a towel on end of a broom (a broom to keep your distance from the black mould). When black mould dies, it should go yellow in colour. If not you haven't removed it or stopped it coming back.

In addition, it should stink of bleach smell for a week afterwards.


----------



## tea111red

when I start feeling like I have some direction and my nervous system has calmed down enough to be able to help myself more, that nasty ***** goes and starts her bull**** again. Makes me feel nearly lost all over again and like I need to rethink everything again. I am really now just considering killing myself again (and taking her up on her suggestion..again) because everything just feels too hard to fix.


----------



## Kevin001

Not too hot.....I hope I'm not getting the flu again.


----------



## KatrinaD

Very average today


----------



## versikk

Attentionwhorish and awful.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Crisigv

ANX1 said:


> Sorry to hear. :hug
> 
> R.I.P Great Uncle of this woman.


Thanks


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Stir crazy.


----------



## SofaKing

Apprehension. I meet with the CEO Tuesday and I'm not optimistic about the outcome. Not sure what decision to make. Could be life altering.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Thanks


You're welcome.


----------



## Kevin001

Still sick....meh.


----------



## kward1

Feeling hopeless. I want to have a good life but I'm stuck in a dark place.

Sent from my SM-J320P using Tapatalk


----------



## Wanderlust26

ANX1 said:


> Only pure bleach gets rid of black mould properly and wipe off with a towel on end of a broom (a broom to keep your distance from the black mould). When black mould dies, it should go yellow in colour. If not you haven't removed it or stopped it coming back.
> 
> In addition, it should stink of bleach smell for a week afterwards.


There were just a few spots on the tub and I watched the black mold fall off as I scrubbed and washed it down, so I'm sure I had removed it. I didn't find anything online about black mold turning to yellow when it dies, and they come in various colors including yellow.

Having your bathroom smell like bleach for a week is a good thing? You'd probably be better off not cleaning. A day of exposure to bleach is already bad enough, inhaling it for a week will definitely do damage to your lungs and esophagus.

Bleach is not foolproof. You will not have success using it to get rid of mold on walls because the chemical structure cannot penetrate porous materials, so they only kill surface mold and in the end return later.

There are quite a few safer solutions that explain why they're effective. You just gotta look them up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Wanderlust26 said:


> There were just a few spots on the tub and I watched the black mold fall off as I scrubbed and washed it down, so I'm sure I had removed it. I didn't find anything online about black mold turning to yellow when it dies, and they come in various colors including yellow.
> 
> Having your bathroom smell like bleach for a week is a good thing? You'd probably be better off not cleaning. A day of exposure to bleach is already bad enough, inhaling it for a week will definitely do damage to your lungs and esophagus.
> 
> Bleach is not foolproof. You will not have success using it to get rid of mold on walls because the chemical structure cannot penetrate porous materials, so they only kill surface mold and in the end return later.
> 
> There are quite a few safer solutions that explain why they're effective. You just gotta look them up.


Have removed black mould in the past and it turned yellow just after spraying pure bleach on it via a spray bottle. Didn't even need to wipe it, just turned yellow and died. Wiping with a towel on end of broom removes the left over residue. Need many clean towels.

If spraying mould in a confined area (without windows open) you have to use a proper face mask that covers the whole face and cover things you don't want it to get on with drop cloths. As long as it is wiped off, keep the windows open for about a week while home, the smell isn't that bad.

In addition, amount of mould (light grey to very black) needs different strengths of bleach. Most household bleach off the supermarket shelf is quite weak compared to pure bleach. Even the cheap spray on products from supermarkets are very weak and only for mild surface mould. Many use those on black mould and then think it doesn't work and all they are doing wrong is using the wrong strength bleach.

Mould will come back if don't have light constantly in the room (keep the blinds, curtain, etc open) and don't air the room (open a window) when having a bath, shower, etc.


----------



## purplereign722

Death in the family, I'm devastated

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

purplereign722 said:


> Death in the family, I'm devastated
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


Sorry to hear. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Apprehension. I meet with the CEO Tuesday and I'm not optimistic about the outcome. Not sure what decision to make. Could be life altering.


Good luck!



kward1 said:


> Feeling hopeless. I want to have a good life but I'm stuck in a dark place.
> 
> Sent from my SM-J320P using Tapatalk


 I sure can relate to that feeling. Hope you feel better soon.



purplereign722 said:


> Death in the family, I'm devastated
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


I am so sorry.  :hug :squeeze


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crap. I need a job and my own place. I'll never be able to move forward properly without those.

Going to a different meet up group in the city on saturday. This is a mental health talk group so won't be just about SA.

Tried to get SA meet woman to go too but I don't think she will.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored, sad, lonely, and I have a headache.


----------



## Crisigv

In a bad place. How do I fix myself?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Nervous, but excited. I have a volunteer work related function to go to with my boss and his business partner tomorrow. Should be fun.



SamanthaStrange said:


> Bored, sad, lonely, and I have a headache.


 :hug :squeeze



Crisigv said:


> In a bad place. How do I fix myself?


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## CNikki

Humiliated. Distraught. Hopeless. Depressed. Faithless (over circumstances). I know that it will not get any better. Wrecked over that fact now.


----------



## 3stacks

Lonely, unwanted, unattractive. I think I'll be single forever I cant imagine anyone liking me or finding me attractive. Super depressed at the moment and I'm tired of waking up. Hopeless. I didn't go to school or get any grades and I have nothing to look forward to it makes me wonder if my life is worth living or if i should just end it one day I guess. I'm like a broken record I know but I needed to vent. The only thing I enjoy in life is music.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

feeling like you feel when having depression. I sing, dance and doodle rainbows on paper.


----------



## Wanderlust26

ANX1 said:


> Have removed black mould in the past and it turned yellow just after spraying pure bleach on it via a spray bottle. Didn't even need to wipe it, just turned yellow and died. Wiping with a towel on end of broom removes the left over residue. Need many clean towels.
> 
> If spraying mould in a confined area (without windows open) you have to use a proper face mask that covers the whole face and cover things you don't want it to get on with drop cloths. As long as it is wiped off, keep the windows open for about a week while home, the smell isn't that bad.
> 
> In addition, amount of mould (light grey to very black) needs different strengths of bleach. Most household bleach off the supermarket shelf is quite weak compared to pure bleach. Even the cheap spray on products from supermarkets are very weak and only for mild surface mould. Many use those on black mould and then think it doesn't work and all they are doing wrong is using the wrong strength bleach.
> 
> Mould will come back if don't have light constantly in the room (keep the blinds, curtain, etc open) and don't air the room (open a window) when having a bath, shower, etc.


The problem I have with bleach is it is toxic to your respiratory health and I am sensitive. Like I said before, I'm only dealing with a few areas of surface mold on the tub so I don't know why you keep pushing for bleach and assume I don't know how mold grows. What's important to me is that cleaning products are nontoxic, and vinegar and baking soda are 100% nontoxic. Learning about their properties will give you a better understanding of why they are effective.

If you're talking about a mold infestation, it's not even recommended that you get rid of it yourself, especially with bleach. At that point you'd have to call a professional.


----------



## Flora20

Sick, lonely and really depressed cause everything is falling apart in my life...


----------



## Pythoni

Kinda empty.


----------



## calimerc

Feeling a bit lonelier than I ever thought I could be. Feel so tired that it's becoming more and more difficult to even know how I feel anymore.


----------



## Crisigv

Left behind


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Wanderlust26 said:


> The problem I have with bleach is it is toxic to your respiratory health and I am sensitive. Like I said before, I'm only dealing with a few areas of surface mold on the tub so I don't know why you keep pushing for bleach and assume I don't know how mold grows. What's important to me is that cleaning products are nontoxic, and vinegar and baking soda are 100% nontoxic. Learning about their properties will give you a better understanding of why they are effective.
> 
> If you're talking about a mold infestation, it's not even recommended that you get rid of it yourself, especially with bleach. At that point you'd have to call a professional.


Professionals use bleach to remove mould. What I mentioned is how professionals remove it. Maybe I went overboard explaining that, sorry.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Conflicted with a capital C.



CNikki said:


> Humiliated. Distraught. Hopeless. Depressed. Faithless (over circumstances). I know that it will not get any better. Wrecked over that fact now.


:squeeze



Flora20 said:


> Sick, lonely and really depressed cause everything is falling apart in my life...


:hug



Crisigv said:


> Left behind


 :squeeze



calimerc said:


> Feeling a bit lonelier than I ever thought I could be. Feel so tired that it's becoming more and more difficult to even know how I feel anymore.


:hug



Pythoni said:


> Kinda empty.


:hug


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Same endless ****. No idea what to do when I feel constant loss weighing me down. :frown2:


----------



## CNikki

Many mixed emotions, but overall...angry.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3 months and 3 weeks and I feel no ****ing better. 

Tired of this ****.


----------



## Kevin001

Sick


----------



## purplereign722

CNikki said:


> Many mixed emotions, but overall...angry.


Sending big hugs your way

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## CNikki

purplereign722 said:


> Sending big hugs your way
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


Thanks, dear. :hug

How have you been?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Many mixed emotions, but overall...angry.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## scintilla

I just came back on here after a short time away and read a thread that had some sad info about a saser that I used to message/email regularly a few years ago. And idk, I wasn't expecting it. I'm really gutted. We lost contact eventually but I still thought of her from time to time and hoped she was doing okay.


----------



## purplereign722

CNikki said:


> Thanks, dear. :hug
> 
> How have you been?


Death in the family, everyone is fighting. I'm depressed, as usual.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## worthlessness1979

a little lonely.

But that is my doing. I am scared of people.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Okay, a little down but okay.


----------



## Lohikaarme




----------



## Ai

Little bit anxious. Trying to get my life in order, but I'm not sure if it's working...

Letting go of the past is so difficult.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, received a bit of good news regarding my wife's health. I had been worried for months, and everything is looking much better than I been worried about. That heavy feeling of dread, the gloom and doom that has been sitting upon me like a lead weight is starting to lift, thankfully. There are a few spots on her MRI, but her doctor is convinced it is due to epilepsy and she has seen it before, we will be having more scans done, but the doctor's confidence relieves me significantly. Her current mammogram compared to one she took three years ago, shows the same spots, which are considered normal so that's another worry gone.

I am almost finished writing my first Java game which was far easier than I thought it would be - it almost feels like I'm cheating. I'm used to dabbling around in C, Java seems to do everything for me. I think it is probably even easier than QBasic, at least from what I recall. The game is just a simple breakout game, after I build a level editor for it, I want to start writing a few more ultimately moving up to RPGs. It has been a long time since I have written one, and even then it was tiny. So, I have found a new hobby to keep me entertained for hours every day, which is fantastic. The Internet, just does not really do it for me like it used to, so I had a void, this is gonna fill it up and keep me occupied for a long time - it would be pretty cool if I could eventually make some money out of it as well, although for now the intention is just being a hobby. While Java is easy, I have a lot to learn, I mostly just hack away until things work right.

I'm gonna be getting a new laptop soon as well, an HP Omen with a GeForce GTX 1050 Ti graphics card. I've had this old clunker for the past five years, and while it is okay for browsing the web with, games really bog down the system. Hopefully the Omen will last me for another five years. It has been a long time since I have bought anything for myself, so this is pretty cool.

I'm glad to be out of that rough spot, it had me nearly in tears every night and my anxiety had me thinking the worst. It is hard to express the misery, but as far as I was aware I thought I was losing her. Feeling powerless over the fate of loved ones, is a cruel sensation. I was nearly convinced that she was vanishing before my eyes, that eventually she would not even recognize me. The memory issues she has been experiencing, is not due to anything other than epilepsy, which is controllable. That is in the past now, thankfully.. Hopefully, we will have another 40 years together.

So, it's Friday, and I'm going to have some rum tonight, mixed with cola, relax with a bit of music, and perhaps finally get around to watching game of thrones.


----------



## Chris S W

I wish I could feel good.


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thank you. 



purplereign722 said:


> Death in the family, everyone is fighting. I'm depressed, as usual.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


I'm sorry for your loss.  Sounds like a tough spot you are in.

Remember that my PM is open if you want to talk.


----------



## Crisigv

Chris S W said:


> I wish I could feel good.


Yup.


----------



## Kevin001

Had a bagel now my stomach is messed up again.


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh


----------



## roxslide

Better. I am trying to remember that I have power, it's just that I have to be willing to take control of it. I am also trying to learn to think of myself more positively. I always strive to be conscientious but that requires recognising the good in me in addition to the bad.


----------



## Dissonance

within conflict of myself but I understand my feelings and logic, but generally it's a feeling of dissatisfaction. Maybe I definitely don't belong here anymore.


----------



## llodell88

tired, yawning. guess 8 hours of sleep isnt enough.


----------



## Kevin001

Stomach still giving me issues.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious and depressed.


----------



## Lonerwolf

feeling angry and laughing at my pain.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I'm feeling like I want to be ****ing rich so I don't have to worry about all this adult bollocks traps anymore.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****, ****ty sunday depression.

I wish there was someway I could focus on getting a job without being overwhelmed so ****ing easily. Sigh.


----------



## Homo Sapiens Sapiens

I feel much better than I felt at afternoon. Because I registered to this website minutes ago


----------



## llodell88

im so effing bored and its so nice out. makes me wish i had someone to go out and do stuff with.


----------



## Sunrisesunset

Down. I'm worried about an upcoming test. I've failed it before.


----------



## llodell88

I don't know how it is 2018. It's almost 2020 that's crazy. I really feel like the years have gone by too quickly sometimes, like I've been sleeping for too long, and woke up in this strange world and I'm not supposed to be here.


----------



## tehuti88

Invisible. -_-


----------



## Forlornsoul

I'm feeling like a corpse, or a ghost, or some twisted combination of those things. I sometimes wish my family could leave me behind. I often blame myself for dragging them all down. Nobody would ever say it, but I know it in my heart. I'm a social abomination. I can't even ask the waiter for something at a restaurant out of shame, and get someone else to do it. I'm an adult that's too ashamed to get a job, too fearful to even attempt getting a license. I'm a teen stuck in an adult body. I don't think I'll ever better.


----------



## tehuti88

Discouraged. And invisible.


----------



## chrissyq3838

Feeling ugly worthless unlikable loney miserable sad unhappy tormented afflicted severely depressed lifeless


----------



## versikk

Betrayed for the nth time.
I've had enough. Or have I?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ByStorm

tense as always.


----------



## shyvr6

Tired. Getting over being sick and now I have a nasty cough going since I had to clear a couple inches of ice off of half the driveway with a shovel.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored and lonely.


----------



## Crisigv

Still anxious


----------



## TheClown7

Anxious


----------



## funnynihilist

Had pancakes and spicy chili for dinner so you can kind of guess


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Anxious about an upcoming job interview this week.

My brain won't shut off.


----------



## CNikki

Neutral, which I'm taking in the moment for since I don't know when it'll be like this again.


----------



## Taaylah

Nostalgic


----------



## Ominous Indeed




----------



## versikk

Ominous Indeed said:


>


You'll reach your stop soon enough.


----------



## Chevy396

I feel a lot better now that I might understand why I've been getting rejected by the type of girl that I like. Maybe I'm not actually repulsive to them, but instead they simply think I am a player. Not that this is a good thing by any means, but it's something I can work on not projecting to others. I can just not make stupid jokes and talk more about my feelings, maybe. We'll see.

BTW, to whom it may concern, I'm still leaving, just tying up some loose ends. There are quite a few steps involved with burning an online identity.


----------



## TheInvisibleHand

TSUBASA said:


> BTW, to whom it may concern, I'm still leaving, just tying up some loose ends. There are quite a few steps involved with burning an online identity.


That is sad news indeed,i hope we will meet again in another life .I will forever remember you and cherish the memories of the time we spent together.


----------



## TheInvisibleHand

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Anxious about an upcoming job interview this week.
> 
> My brain won't shut off.


Is it a programmer job?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

TheInvisibleHand said:


> Is it a programmer job?


Lol no.

A General Labourer warehouse job.


----------



## Chris S W

Distressed.


----------



## Crisigv

Physically, very uncomfortable


----------



## Flora20

Really sad, mad, lonely and depressed...


----------



## versikk

I am surprisingly happy considering it's Morning, I haven't eaten breakfast, and it's been 2 days since I was (yet again) betrayed by the only 'friend' I had
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****ing dreadful. 

So tired of being depressed. So, so ****ing tired. :frown2::frown2::frown2::frown2::frown2::frown2:


----------



## SplendidBob

Much better, quite a decent mood today. Pretty sure one of the following really ****s with my mood as 4 days in a row and the next day I was totally crazy:

1. Kratom
2. Modafinil
3. Lack of sleep (kratom alone messes with that)
4. Multiple days of the above

I could experiment further and try to see what the cause was, but instead going to tread very carefully with the above, because that was pretty bad. (my guess would be 1).


----------



## llodell88

i'm tired and sad.


----------



## NoLife93

Drained of life


----------



## Chris S W

Tired


----------



## my journey to find myself

Im ok, numb from feeling but ok


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pretty bad...

I am getting a moderate anxiety attack again, along with a crying spell which I am fighting against at the moment.


----------



## The Library of Emma

The world isn't good like it should be


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired. Lonely.


----------



## Crisigv

Not the best


----------



## funnynihilist

Bored as always


----------



## Kevin001

Dry.....barely have saliva in my mouth lol


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Tired. Lonely.


:hug :squeeze



Crisigv said:


> Not the best


:hug :squeeze


----------



## harrison

My mood is good and I have no anxiety at all - but I'm very tired. I saw my therapist today and sometimes just talking to him will get me worked up. Just describing times when I was manic or talking about things I've been doing recently will start me off and I can feel a tingling in my arms and shoulders etc - plus a strange sort of buzzing in my head. I went and had a nice lunch at a restaurant in my old area which made me feel a lot better.


----------



## Homo Sapiens Sapiens

Tired from extreme anxiety.


----------



## EarthDominator

Mentally exhausted. And I recently thought it was going better with me...guess I thought wrong.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Frustrated.


----------



## funnynihilist

Tired and I haven't been up that long haha


----------



## Sus y

Not sleepy. :um But I just slept maybe one hour or so, it was too hot despite I have the AC on and that didn't help me.


----------



## SFC01

Sus y said:


> Not sleepy. :um But I just slept maybe one hour or so, it was too hot despite I have the AC on and that didn't help me.


come and keep me warm Susy, -5 and a blizzard outside !! I`ll get the log fire ready.


----------



## funnynihilist

Grog no think, work on taxes, Grog go back to cave, take nap, look at with fresh eyes


----------



## Kilgore Trout

My arms hurt.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Headache. :bah


----------



## CNikki

Let's put it this way - if I lay down, I will do all in my power to not get back up. I can understand people who get to that point.


----------



## abiologicalblunder

pretty ****ing terrible...like I can't catch a break. Life is just one ****storm after another.


----------



## Crisigv

Like a failure


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm honestly angry right now.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Anxious and despondent.


----------



## SparklingWater

annoyed!


----------



## Sus y

SFC01 said:


> come and keep me warm Susy, -5 and a blizzard outside !! I`ll get the log fire ready.


:O -5? That must be a just too much cold :frown2:, I wonder how people there manage to go out and how much clothes do people need to keep warm, I'm wondering other things too about the cold weather and what people do, but I rather not to write them hahaha. :rolf

Little after I wrote that post I finally fall asleep for a bit more than 8 hours, :O I guess I slept all that much to compensate how long I had been awake.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm honestly angry right now.


 :hug



Crisigv said:


> Like a failure


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## llodell88

tired, can't sleep, worried about stuff


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I've had a horrible dream about her and someone from the past that made me wake up filled with regret.

I don't know how the **** I'm going to get over this.

Depression from the fallout is relentless and making me worry about everything.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I'm not well today.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Moody B****, more than usual, haha.


----------



## llodell88

i want to fall back asleep.


----------



## Kevin001

Meh just had the worst uber driver ever...hope he likes his review.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@iAmCodeMonkey  Thanks. I feel a little better but not a lot.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @*iAmCodeMonkey*  Thanks. I feel a little better but not a lot.


No problem. I hope it helped you.


----------



## llodell88

a little annoyed and still tired


----------



## Lohikaarme




----------



## SplendidBob

@Lohikaarme the challenge vid is being uploaded, but it's a mess as I actually can't fake smile on command, I can only do it while I am talking, so its just a mess of fake smiles which amused me and caused real smiles.

Alan the pig's backstory is horrible too 



SamanthaStrange said:


> Moody B****, more than usual, haha.


Whaaaat? Never. Noooooo.

Here is a sexy pic to cheer you up


----------



## Lohikaarme

splendidbob said:


> @Lohikaarme the challenge vid is being uploaded, but it's a mess as I actually can't fake smile on command, I can only do it while I am talking, so its just a mess of fake smiles which amused me and caused real smiles.
> 
> Alan the pig's backstory is horrible too


Haha, should be interesting :b
Sorry couldn't really think of another topic that might have made it easier for you ...my brain has kind of been in shutdown mode over the past few days lol


----------



## forever in flux

Bored sh!tless. Restless. Breastless.


----------



## llodell88

i need help


----------



## CNikki

Cold and depressed. I never felt the impact of such a useless day as much as I have today.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

splendidbob said:


> Whaaaat? Never. Noooooo.


I can't tell if you're being sarcastic... :lol


* *




Perhaps you're one of the lucky few who have yet to experience my increased moodiness during the first week of the month.


----------



## Crisigv

Ugly


----------



## Johnny Walker

Pretty good


----------



## SplendidBob

SamanthaStrange said:


> I can't tell if you're being sarcastic... :lol
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Perhaps you're one of the lucky few who have yet to experience my increased moodiness during the first week of the month.


Bob's checklist:

- Likes men in _unbelievably_ tight trousers
- Thinks Bob is handsome (no point denying it, I have my fingers in my ears)
- Typically uses feminine avatars
- Has the name "Samantha" as part of username
- Has gender "female" on display (not sure what female is, but it seems familiar somehow)

I had my suspicions about you but with this latest news I am beginning to suspect you are of the femid.

/hides from the giant pincers. :afr


----------



## SamanthaStrange

splendidbob said:


> Bob's checklist:
> 
> - Likes men in _unbelievably_ tight trousers
> - Thinks Bob is handsome (no point denying it, I have my fingers in my ears)
> - Typically uses feminine avatars
> - Has the name "Samantha" as part of username
> - Has gender "female" on display (not sure what female is, but it seems familiar somehow)
> 
> I had my suspicions about you but with this latest news I am beginning to suspect you are of the femid.
> 
> /hides from the giant pincers. :afr


:teeth


----------



## abiologicalblunder

completely exhausted without a compelling reason so I can only attribute it to existence itself. *sigh*


----------



## Chris S W

I can almost feel the void in me, a terrible and permanent emptiness broken only by tears of sorrow and despair.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> No problem. I hope it helped you.


Yea, I feel better.


----------



## tea111red

Back to feeling hopeless and suicidal.


----------



## Sus y

tea111red said:


> Back to feeling hopeless and suicidal.


:hug


----------



## funnynihilist

Wasn't feeling good, drank some Scotch, feeling better


----------



## tea111red

Sus y said:


> :hug


Thanks for caring.


----------



## Sus y

tea111red said:


> Thanks for caring.


Hope you make it to feel better.


----------



## versikk

limbo


----------



## DSusan

I am feeling depressed today


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable, and I haven't even left my bed yet. I want to just die.


----------



## AffinityWing

Tired, lazy (The defaults by now! )


----------



## llodell88

still tired


its a new day


not really


----------



## Lyyli

Drained. I went to an Art Fair w my sister. It was fun, though. *crawls back to cave*


----------



## CNikki

Pissed.


----------



## twitchy666

are you feline?


----------



## Crisigv

cold


----------



## forever in flux

Tired and agitated. Multiple days sleep deprivation is making me miserable. Got some temporary relief from modafinil and caffeine earlier. They have worn off now and left me feeling even worse. Took a few benzos half an hour ago to stop me from punching the wall, will hopefully kick in soon.


----------



## chrissyq3838

NoLife93 said:


> Drained of life


diddo


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored, grumpy, and lonely.


----------



## unsocial lego

unsatisfied with life but mostly indifferent right now.


----------



## llodell88

still tired.

i think i fell asleep early last night but I can never remember much about "last night".


----------



## Crisigv

really sad


----------



## Mur

Crisigv said:


> really sad


my farts smell rotten tom5, its okay where all human at the end of the day laright?!


----------



## Crisigv

A.A said:


> my farts smell rotten tom5, its okay where all human at the end of the day laright?!


That means you're rotting from the inside. Haven't you ever heard of Dr Ho?


----------



## Mur

Crisigv said:


> That means you're rotting from the inside. Haven't you ever heard of Dr Ho?


he tried to take all my money so me no talkey no more, anyways we all rot from the inside out that the beauty of life yeah?!!!!


----------



## Crisigv

A.A said:


> he tried to take all my money so me no talkey no more, anyways we all rot from the inside out that the beauty of life yeah?!!!!


Lol, true


----------



## Mur

Crisigv said:


> Lol, true


why dont you hook up with that guy whos lonely and lives in canadia dont you live in canadia and arent you lonely too?!! seriously though!!!


----------



## Crisigv

A.A said:


> why dont you hook up with that guy whos lonely and lives in canadia dont you live in canadia and arent you lonely too?!! seriously though!!!


And which guy is that?


----------



## Wanderlust26

Lonely and scared.


----------



## Mur

Crisigv said:


> And which guy is that?


well, last time i checked he lives in canadia (code monkey....cough cough....) and you live in canadia too so i think you two should make something.....ado!


----------



## versikk

Woke up feeling like sheepfarts, and here I am on my way to work. Even ate breakfast and everything. I'm only kept alive by music and my fab outfits.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mur

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Uh, how about no. Don't drag me into this, pretty please.


You would make such a cute couple (do it!)


----------



## roxslide

Annoyed, I guess. It's ok, I think I'll take a break and watch some tv or something.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

a n x i o u s


----------



## Darkblock9

I'm feeling like fighting my anxiety is a battle I can't win


----------



## versikk

Darkblock9 said:


> I'm feeling like fighting my anxiety is a battle I can't win


You're not supposed to fight it.

Effed if you do, effed if you don't. 

It's all zen, baby.

------

So far today I've been thinking about suicide and sex. Trying to keep busy with work. The hours go by pretty fast at this place.

I think I'm gonna listen to some metal now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Kevin001

Groggy


----------



## SamanthaStrange

geraltofrivia said:


> a n x i o u s


Well, your anxiety is really colorful, so there's that. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Relieved that I did a good job with haircut.  :lol


----------



## llodell88

i got up at 9am instead of 630 like usual and feel better than usual

even though i woke up a few times last night and i know at least one time took me a while to fall back asleep

i dont think i'll feel as tired today


----------



## Kilgore Trout

SamanthaStrange said:


> Well, your anxiety is really colorful, so there's that. :b






ANX1 said:


> Relieved that I did a good job with haircut.  :lol


:clap


----------



## llodell88

irritated because my internet is slow.

worried i'm going to banned from doing tasks i do online to make money because someone is messing with them, which does happen to people, especially messing with a google requester, really dumb, and if i get banned from one i get banned from all google hits. i could lose out on a potential thousands of dollars a year from that depending on what type of work they plan on putting up this year. Also increases my chances of being kicked off the entire site and I know I've been hard blocked by at least one person already.

And i find out one of the requesters he is messing with actually does hard block, which is pretty rare for a requester to do that, especially a popular one like that.

I don't really want people messing with my chances of getting a masters qual either since that could double my earnings.


----------



## llodell88

dont feel good

hope i fall asleep soon so i stop thinking


----------



## Crisigv

My lower back is killing me. It's making me more miserable.


----------



## Kevin001

Drained


----------



## 3stacks

Bored


----------



## versikk

Crisigv said:


> My lower back is killing me. It's making me more miserable.


Get some microwave heating pads

They work great

You can also get electronic pain relief 'pads' and of course, tiger balm is the shizzle!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

geraltofrivia said:


> :clap


Sort of done it right, missed a spot. 



llodell88 said:


> dont feel good
> 
> hope i fall asleep soon so i stop thinking


Something to distract you -








Crisigv said:


> My lower back is killing me. It's making me more miserable.


Buy a back support brace that can be worn under clothes. Posture can sometimes make a big difference.



Kevin001 said:


> Drained


I hope you feel more energized after some sleep.



3stacks said:


> Bored


What did the brummy say to the car that he passed at Nurburgring.

Hehehehe.


----------



## Unholy

great for once


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Meh.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

Blah I guess.
Went out of my way to tackle my social anxiety to make a friend, had 15 mini panic attacks over the last week, they're already showing signs of disinterest.
Fook me.


----------



## unsocial lego

Tired, which is better than how bad I was feeling earlier today.


----------



## llodell88

not tired enough for once...wrong hour for this.


----------



## llodell88

irritated

control freaks

like i'm in a cage.


----------



## versikk

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## llodell88

tired, bored, unmotivated, wanna sleep.


----------



## Odinn

Depressed and helpless


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Crappy.


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless as usual


----------



## 3stacks

Self esteem is low


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

Can't sleep


----------



## SFC01

tip ****ing top - 2 days off work, 4 day weekend ! woohoo.


----------



## Eternal Solitude

Ugly, unwanted and very much unloved. Some people cannot win no matter how much they try :crying:


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Eternal Solitude said:


> Ugly, unwanted and very much unloved. Some people cannot win no matter how much they try :crying:


:squeeze


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Cranky, itchy


----------



## zonebox

The usual, people have often told me I look depressed in my life, that I am very reserved, I look lost in thought, etc. It is really not that bad though, I am usually just thinking about something, or day dreaming, hence my alias. My mind typically does not dwell on depressing things though, anxiety usually does not impact me unless I am around people I don't know well - which is a daily occurrence but I've always had something to keep me distracted such as a book, or even a phone. As long as I can create my own little pocket universe 'o solitude, I can usually manage It is when I am not allowed to escape to such a place, that I feel very anxious. 

Those times, when my daydreams and thoughts gravitate toward depression, or anxiety are when I slip outside of my mind and get involved with something external to me. Things such as manual labor, for example cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, if it is bad enough I'll even jump on my treadmill and try to jog for a while. That is usually helps out a lot. When I was working, I would push myself very hard at my job, become hyper focused on the task I was doing, to the point that it was all consuming. My employers always liked me, because I am a hard worker for that reason alone. 

I try to keep positive about things, people often confuse that with delusion, and cynicism with being a realist.. honestly though, they are both delusional ways of thinking. There is no real positive, or negative thoughts existing outside of one own's mind. And being a realist is boring, it lacks creativity, and pursues the mundane, we are creatures with emotion and trying to shut those down is nearly impossible all of the time. Depression, anxiety, happiness, confidence, they all can be manipulated in some way for me, so I try to keep myself relatively happy, despite the fact that ultimately things will surely end up sour at some point in the future. Why prolong such misery though? If something bad is going to happen, such as my parents dying (it will happen, one of these days I'll get a call) why spend the time they are alive dwelling on such a fate? Eventually, when such a thing happens, it will be a miserable experience that I will have to deal with, and just with everything else that has happened in my life, I'll adjust and move on.. until my last breath, at which (are you actually reading all of this? help me I've been abducted by bigfoot!)point it is not likely I will have to adjust anymore at all.

You won't see me on these forums often when I'm feeling depressed or anxious. I'll take a break from them, when I start to see my mind slipping such ways, I'll not post a thing here because ultimately it is not something that helps me out of such a mentality. Usually you'll only see me here, when I'm bored, and being bored is not really all that bad when compared to dealing with depression or anxiety. 

Don't get me wrong, there is a definite beauty to depressing things, I love to put on some sad music, watch a few sad flicks, or read sad fictional stories. The pull of a few strings of such emotion can be reinvigorating, it can make one feel alive and appreciative to all they have. But I don't like being engulfed in it. When I come to these forums, it is mostly all I see of people, they are engulfed in depression and I feel so bad for them. I used to try to help them out, but it never did any good, if anything it would just upset them because they were not looking for help. I don't even touch the frustration section anymore because it was such a miserable place, with people who were incredibly hopeless, barely holding on.

I'm feeling pretty good, all things considered. I am not hopping up and down in joy, but compared to most people here I am not tormented by depression or anxiety at the moment. I'm not physically in pain, and emotionally I'm just bored.. but it could be a lot worst.


----------



## funnynihilist

Been a long day for me.


----------



## CNikki

Anxious and at certain points having the urge to cry. I don't know why with the latter.


----------



## Eternal Solitude

Thanks @SamanthaStrange


----------



## llodell88

tired, wish it didnt take so long to make 40 dollars but i guess i dont have anything i else i wanna do these days either.


----------



## SofaKing

Meh...at this rate, I can retire early. I doubt I'll out spend my natural life expectancy.


----------



## twistix

Hugs to those who need it


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Anxious and at certain points having the urge to cry. I don't know why with the latter.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

Tired and Dejected. But hey, at least i have critical role to watch.


----------



## llodell88

sad tired empty


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Girl Without a Shadow said:


> Somebody, quick, shoot me. -__-


 :hug :squeeze :rub


----------



## Citrine79

worried, pessimistic, unmotivated, so sick of snow and cold


----------



## Sus y

Not even sure. The antiallergic I'm taking is too strong, the effect last about 48hours and mixed it with a painkiller I hadn't try before, funny effects, I'm having funny dreams (not funny) and I'm terribly sleepy and feeling really :con , a bit similar than if I was drunk and sleepy.


----------



## SFC01

Sus y said:


> Not even sure. The antiallergic I'm taking is too strong, the effect last about 48hours and mixed it with a painkiller I hadn't try before, funny effects, I'm having funny dreams (not funny) and I'm terribly sleepy and feeling really :con , a bit similar than if I was drunk and sleepy.


Oh dear Sus y :frown2:

Is this hayfever ?


----------



## Sus y

SFC01 said:


> Oh dear Sus y :frown2:
> 
> Is this hayfever ?


Yes and no? I mean we don't have seasons as such, but yeah allergy of that kind, to which I'm prone to have for now reasons, but this time I'm suspecting it was the detergent I used to wash the bedspread :con. I'm not me, I'm so idle right now. I can't believe how some random medicines that are even sold without recipe can have such strong effect. :serious:

How are you feeling?


----------



## SFC01

Sus y said:


> Yes and no? I mean we don't have seasons as such, but yeah allergy of that kind, to which I'm prone to have for now reasons, but this time I'm suspecting it was the detergent I used to wash the bedspread :con. I'm not me, I'm so idle right now. I can't believe how some random medicines that are even sold without recipe can have such strong effect. :serious:
> 
> How are you feeling?


:serious:

You supposed to wash bedsheets ?

I don't have allergies but my dad has a thing called "writing on the back disease". Ignore the technical name for it, but basically you can write on his back ! Really, I`ve written all sorts on it, and loads of "shapes"!!

You just trace the shape with your finger and a minute or so later it comes out in "red text". He has to take antihistamines for it.

I`m good thanks, I just want some nice warm sun now - our 11 and half month winter is dragging on! Hope you perk up soon.


----------



## Sus y

SFC01 said:


> :serious:
> 
> You supposed to wash bedsheets ?
> 
> I don't have allergies but my dad has a thing called "writing on the back disease". Ignore the technical name for it, but basically you can write on his back ! Really, I`ve written all sorts on it, and loads of "shapes"!!
> 
> You just trace the shape with your finger and a minute or so later it comes out in "red text". He has to take antihistamines for it.
> 
> I`m good thanks, I just want some nice warm sun now - our 11 and half month winter is dragging on! Hope you perk up soon.


Oh, I didn't knew of that thing, how many nasty things your dad's back knows :O hahah

err... 
https://www.menshealth.com/health/grossest-things-on-pillow/slide/6
http://home.bt.com/lifestyle/house-...d-when-you-should-throw-it-out-11364020946367


----------



## SFC01

wow @Sus y, that beach looks lush !! I could live there, I would only need a pair bamboo trousers, a pet parrot, and a spear !! and some company of course 

I think you could probably tell what kind of things I`ve written 

and thanks for the info on washing bed sheets but I do actually wash them believe it or not !!


----------



## SFC01

@Sus y, this is my local "beach" , we could move here - I know you are tempted !! Just stay out of the water at all times, don't pick anything up and don't wander out on your own at night - especially in that housing estate you can see.


----------



## Sus y

SFC01 said:


> @Sus y, this is my local "beach" , we could move here - I know you are tempted !! Just stay out of the water at all times, don't pick anything up and don't wander out on your own at night - especially in that housing estate you can see.


:no
Don't pick anything up? Is it too dirty?

https://www.tripadvisor.com.ve/TravelersChoice-Beaches-cTop-g13
https://www.minube.com/mis-viajes/las-20-mejores-playas-de-latinoamerica-g1515853
:smile2:


----------



## SFC01

Sus y said:


> :no
> Don't pick anything up? Is it too dirty?
> 
> https://www.tripadvisor.com.ve/TravelersChoice-Beaches-cTop-g13
> https://www.minube.com/mis-viajes/las-20-mejores-playas-de-latinoamerica-g1515853
> :smile2:


Not so much dirty Susy, more downright dangerous.

This is the stretch of water that the Titanic sailed down !! Leonardo Diaprio loved the place so much during filming that he bought the penthouse suite in that towerblock in the distance.


----------



## Sus y

SFC01 said:


> Not so much dirty Susy, more downright dangerous.
> 
> This is the stretch of water that the Titanic sailed down !! Leonardo Diaprio loved the place so much during filming that he bought the penthouse suite in that towerblock in the distance.


Really? Interesting! I don't remember much of that movie.


----------



## SFC01

Sus y said:


> Really? Interesting! .


is that "really? wow, whatever SFC, how interesting" or genuine 

but yeah its true, never mind though as at least the trip picked up for them once they made it out of Southampton.

:wink2:

edit, not true about Leonardo though!!


----------



## Sus y

SFC01 said:


> is that "really? wow, whatever SFC, how interesting" or genuine
> 
> but yeah its true, never mind though as at least the trip picked up for them once they made it out of Southampton.
> 
> :wink2:
> 
> edit, not true about Leonardo though!!


That was the only interesting part  lol kidding. :wink2:


----------



## llodell88

bored and tired and im in a bad mood again so it looks like ill only be making half of what i did last week. wondering if this bs is ever going to be over so i can get on w/ my life.

dont think i should have eaten that bagel.

i also want to talk to someone but i dont even know if my posts are working or if im talking to a person that i want to talk to and not someone else. chatroom is always empty now and even there i dont know if im talking to who i think im talking to.

just feel trapped, impossible to do what i need to do, annoying having someone blocking you from being what you need to do to to care of yourself for their own selfish reasons


----------



## Johnny Walker

Feeling fine at home after a long day in work. Also grateful i have a place to stay and a person who cares about me.


----------



## thomasjune

I feel pretty good. They tried to get me to work overtime tomorrow but I said nope! I need my alone time to relax more than I need the money.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Chris S W

So avoidant.


----------



## unsocial lego

So tired. Work had me go in at 5 in the morning and I had an 8 hour shift going all over the place. I want to go to bed right now and wake up tomorrow. Aside from that today was an okay day.


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed and dizzy


----------



## 3stacks

lonely


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I've NEVER felt depression like this before. It's eating me.

I never thought another human being could affect me this way and there's nothing I can do to take away this feeling.

I'm waking up twitching and agitated like drug addict and I had insomnia last night, which I never get.


----------



## SFC01

baffled - by simple fractions !!

anyone know how to simplify (do what now ??) - 5/20 and 9/12 ?


----------



## SplendidBob

Irritated, worried, grumpy.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

Pete Beale said:


> I've NEVER felt depression like this before. It's eating me.
> 
> I never thought another human being could affect me this way and there's nothing I can do to take away this feeling.
> 
> I'm waking up twitching and agitated like drug addict and I had insomnia last night, which I never get.


*Hugs*


----------



## Sus y

splendidbob said:


> Irritated, worried, grumpy.


:hug hope you feel better soon.



SFC01 said:


> baffled - by simple fractions !!
> 
> anyone know how to simplify (do what now ??) - 5/20 and 9/12 ?


Awww! How cute that you are back to the school, good luck  hehe


----------



## Kevin001

Mentally drained


----------



## SFC01

Sus y said:


> :hug hope you feel better soon.
> 
> Awww! How cute that you are back to the school, good luck  hehe


thanks Susy, don't suppose you are any good at English ? Its not my strong point 

Wish me luck, kids are here now !


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Ominous Indeed said:


> *Hugs*


Thanks. 

:squeeze


----------



## Sus y

SFC01 said:


> thanks Susy, don't suppose you are any good at English ? Its not my strong point
> 
> Wish me luck, kids are here now !


No  but given the chance, the time and the motivation/energy I could try even to correct their Spanish teacher (if they had one), of course, google knows so much :grin2:.

That moment I feel


----------



## SofaKing

SFC01 said:


> baffled - by simple fractions !!
> 
> anyone know how to simplify (do what now ??) - 5/20 and 9/12 ?


You mean like 5/20 is 1/4 and 9/12 is 3/4?

5 is commonly divisible into 5 and 20.
3 is commonly divisible into 9 and 12.

You pick the highest common denominator to reduce the numerator and divisor.

4/8 has options for 2 and 4. However if you pick 2, you'll still have 2/4 which is further reducible.


----------



## CNikki

Dead. Having a hangover would feel better than this.


----------



## CNikki

SFC01 said:


> baffled - by simple fractions !!
> 
> anyone know how to simplify (do what now ??) - 5/20 and 9/12 ?


20 divided by 5 = 4, which four would be your denominator.
Since you multiply 5 four times and it's not any higher than five, it would be equal to 1.
1/4

Lowest common number for 9 and 12 is 3. Three is multiplied to nine three times while to twelve four times.
Therefore, it makes it 3/4.

I really suck at math, but thankfully I know this much.


----------



## discopotato

anxious.


----------



## SFC01

CNikki said:


> 20 divided by 5 = 4, which four would be your denominator.
> Since you multiply 5 four times and it's not any higher than five, it would be equal to 1.
> 1/4
> 
> Lowest common number for 9 and 12 is 3. Three is multiplied to nine three times while to twelve four times.
> Therefore, it makes it 3/4.
> 
> I really suck at math, but thankfully I know this much.


CNikki, brilliant, much appreciated. So just to clarify for everyone, the answer is ?


----------



## SFC01

SofaKing said:


> You mean like 5/20 is 1/4 and 9/12 is 3/4?
> 
> 5 is commonly divisible into 5 and 20.
> 3 is commonly divisible into 9 and 12.
> 
> You pick the highest common denominator to reduce the numerator and divisor.
> 
> 4/8 has options for 2 and 4. However if you pick 2, you'll still have 2/4 which is further reducible.


Anyone ?

*Thank you SF and @CNikki, appreciate it !! How are you with spelling ?


----------



## forever in flux

Like the King of the Potato People


* *


----------



## funnynihilist

Another Saturday night


----------



## Crisigv

crappy


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Tired of carrying the feeling of loss and the agitation of wanting to fix things but being unable to around with me.


----------



## funnynihilist

Bad. It's all been a struggle and I'm tired of it.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> Bad. It's all been a struggle and I'm tired of it.


:squeeze


----------



## funnynihilist

SamanthaStrange said:


> :squeeze


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

funnynihilist said:


> Bad. It's all been a struggle and I'm tired of it.


Yes :frown2:

Where's the relief from it all?

Where's the feelings of satisfaction and contentedness? :frown2:


----------



## funnynihilist

Pete Beale said:


> Yes :frown2:
> 
> Where's the relief from it all?
> 
> Where's the feelings of satisfaction and contentedness? :frown2:


Maybe satisfaction and contentedness are all an illusion. I'm not totally sure those things actually exist.


----------



## versikk

I am feeling bizarre


----------



## Wanderlust26

Lonely


----------



## 3stacks

Depressed and lonely. My favourite combo


----------



## llodell88

i feel bad and i don't know the right words, but sort of hopeless and helpless

just bad is good enough i guess


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

funnynihilist said:


> Maybe satisfaction and contentedness are all an illusion. I'm not totally sure those things actually exist.


Feels like it mate.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and confused


----------



## Eternal Solitude

Lonely but that is the "normal" for me.


----------



## CNikki

Not having it.


----------



## funnynihilist

Dear God! Life is Boring!

Same crap over and over and over


----------



## komorikun

Yesterday was bunny turds. Today it's diarrhea. My poor tummy. :flush


----------



## versikk

komorikun said:


> Yesterday was bunny turds. Today it's diarrhea. My poor tummy. :flush


lol

I shift between 2-6 constantly.


----------



## Too indecisive for a name

Sad. Tired. Irritable. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## 3stacks

Have actually felt pretty good today for most of the day well until now lol.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Very depressed and alone.


----------



## Crisigv

Way behind the rest of the world.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

the cheat said:


> Very depressed and alone.


 :rub



Crisigv said:


> Way behind the rest of the world.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## llodell88

bored tired idk


----------



## tehuti88

Heartbroken. :crying:

I feel sad for someone else too. I don't know if they'll see this or care but I do.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I broke down in the city centre and had to hide by a wall.

Never had anything like this happen before in public. Never even come close. That's how bad my ****ing depression is. 

I just can't get rid of this.


----------



## SocialVegan

Feeling like I need to go out of the house today, even if just to drive for a bit, eat out on a patio, get a coffee afterwards and maybe share a few smiles with the normals.


----------



## Javuri

I'm feeling anxious and sad about being alone.


----------



## SocialVegan

On second thought, I might not go out of the house today.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Okay


----------



## Lohikaarme

K, enough sad songs for the night. *slaps cheeks*


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lohikaarme said:


> *slaps cheeks*


Who's the lucky man this time? lol


----------



## versikk

Happy - confused - lost - relaxed - tense


----------



## Crisigv

I'm very sad now


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I'm very sad now


:hug


----------



## CNikki

Attacked.


----------



## Crisigv

ANX1 said:


> :hug


:lol you know the way to my heart, lololol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> :lol you know the way to my heart, lololol


:grin2:

Welcome home -


----------



## llodell88

confused and annoyed


----------



## chrissyq3838

I feel like i have brain cancer


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

llodell88 said:


> confused and annoyed


:hug

Chin up.


----------



## Crisigv

Too much anxiety today.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Awkward, annoyed, aimless


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Too much anxiety today.


I find if I feel anxious due to being tired, breathing in and out fully helps (wakes a person up a little bit).

I hope the rest of the day is better for you. :hug

Chin up, stay strong.


----------



## llodell88

annoyed i can't go straight home after this dinner. earnings are going to be crappy again this week. annoyed at my mother, really don't wanna spend an evening with her.


----------



## Chevy396

Like going on a nice long hike and smoking some weed in nature. In other words, pretty good.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@llodell88

:hug

Kitty therapy -


----------



## SamanthaStrange

So tired of everything.


----------



## PapiPee

There's nothing like having the window open on a rainy day laying down in bed browsing the web and listening to music. This is the life, I wish everyday was like this.


----------



## Lohikaarme

_If you think that I'm scared you've got me wrong
If you don't know my name, you'll know it now_
~
_Find me way out there
There's no road that will lead us back
When you follow the strange trails
They will take you who knows where
If I found a way to stay with you tonight
It would only make me late, for a date I can't escape_


----------



## Crisigv

SamanthaStrange said:


> So tired of everything.


Yes


----------



## Chris S W

Anxious, sad, and tired.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> So tired of everything.





Crisigv said:


> Yes


:hug

Even a cute owl and cat? -








Chris S W said:


> Anxious, sad, and tired.


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## 3stacks

Bored. And I'm curious at how @ANX1 is? hope you're doing well?


----------



## Chris S W

ANX1 said:


> Sorry to hear mate.


Thanks.


----------



## BooksArtHistory61

Nervous because my first job (temporary) is tomorrow, and I'm entirely sure how everything works.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Bored. And I'm curious at how @ANX1 is? hope you're doing well?


Stressed, tired. I have some legal stuff to deal with which takes some thinking and affects my sick loved one. 



Chris S W said:


> Thanks.


You're welcome. 



BooksArtHistory61 said:


> Nervous because my first job (temporary) is tomorrow, and I'm entirely sure how everything works.


Should learn on the job. Stay strong through this time. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Despondent and tired.

What else is new. :sigh


----------



## roxslide

Lazy. I came to the park to run but I'm just sitting in my car instead


----------



## versikk

Un sane

Lalalalalala
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## CNikki

Angry and I'm actually starting to believe that I'm justified for it this time.


----------



## 3stacks

ANX1 said:


> Stressed, tired. I have some legal stuff to deal with which takes some thinking and affects my sick loved one.


  Sorry to hear that. Hope you feel better and it gets sorted soon.


----------



## Kevin001

Grateful


----------



## discopotato

Lonely.


----------



## 3stacks

Slightly lonely but other than that I'm pretty decent


----------



## loneranger

Feel like crap. Skin flare ups.

Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Sorry to hear that. Hope you feel better and it gets sorted soon.


Thank you for your kind words. 

Not sure if it will get better. A legally complex issue that hasn't been seen anywhere in the world that I know of. There is no book or example to follow, so to speak.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

suicidal

edit: Now kind of thinking about killing people too. It's weird how they go together often (not always, but often.)


----------



## 3stacks

ANX1 said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry to hear that. Hope you feel better and it gets sorted soon.
> 
> 
> 
> Thank you for your kind words.
> 
> Not sure if it will get better. A legally complex issue that hasn't been seen anywhere in the world that I know of. There is no book or example to follow, so to speak.
Click to expand...

Ah really  thats annoying. always here if you wanna talk



Persephone The Dread said:


> suicidal


I know that feeling well  doubt it helps at all but I think you're an awesome person and one of your posts on a thread I made helped me and Im sure many others too.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

3stacks said:


> Ah really  thats annoying. always here if you wanna talk
> 
> I know that feeling well  doubt it helps at all but I think you're an awesome person and one of your posts on a thread I made helped me and Im sure many others too.


It's important that you realise I'm terrible (and arguably not a person,) eg: see my edit to that post.

A lot of people accidentally think I'm awesome because they don't know me.


----------



## 3stacks

Persephone The Dread said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Ah really  thats annoying. always here if you wanna talk
> 
> I know that feeling well  doubt it helps at all but I think you're an awesome person and one of your posts on a thread I made helped me and Im sure many others too.
> 
> 
> 
> It's important that you realise I'm terrible (and arguably not a person,) eg: see my edit to that post.
> 
> A lot of people accidentally think I'm awesome because they don't know me.
Click to expand...

 I refuse to believe you (and will continue to do so) lol. I seen the edit and I've had those thoughts too. I always see you helping people on here and you seem really intelligent and great in your posts and like I said you helped me too


----------



## Persephone The Dread

3stacks said:


> I refuse to believe you (and will continue to do so) lol. I seen the edit and I've had those thoughts too. I always see you helping people on here and you seem really intelligent and great in your posts and like I said you helped me too


Thanks, well I'm glad I helped you in some way.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Ah really  thats annoying. always here if you wanna talk


Thank you. 

It is frustrating.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Nervous (to the point of feeling nauseous), excited, scared, hopeful....


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Persephone The Dread said:


> suicidal
> 
> edit: Now kind of thinking about killing people too. It's weird how they go together often (not always, but often.)


I hope you are doing okay. :hug


----------



## Persephone The Dread

@iAmCodeMonkey

I'm not, but thanks


----------



## Greys0n

I am so tired now, didn't sleep well


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I wish I was dead.


----------



## unsocial lego

My feet hurt, I'm sleepy and really cold right now but emotionally I'm indifferent. At least it's better this way than when I feel sad.


----------



## versikk

Persephone The Dread said:


> @iAmCodeMonkey
> 
> I'm not, but thanks


----------



## Marko3

tired, my hands are cold, listening to good old Kalmah, runny nose a bit, maybe I take a nap, and then maybe battlefield1


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> I wish I was dead.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thanks.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> I wish I was dead.


:hug

It is the time to overcome those feelings Caribbean style -






Argh me hearty. :grin2:


----------



## Crisigv

Not good


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Panicked and alone. I can't handle this anymore.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Tired from all the anxiety, but relieved that the interview is over.


----------



## versikk

Hahahaha hahahaha h+ahahas


Hahahaa+sh#h#+sshhshsj=jj#kall) &) & fl) *ND) dkd


Hahahass+#k) mlnnijfixdl#a(hahahahhahaa+


----------



## llodell88

like sh**


----------



## SparklingWater

Inspired and excited!


----------



## ShatteredGlass

gay


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

llodell88 said:


> like sh**


Aww. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Alone after seeing lots of people (especially fathers) with kids near the beach. Felt like crying, as something I will never get to experience.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> Alone after seeing lots of people (especially fathers) with kids near the beach. Felt like crying, as something I will never get to experience.


I am sorry.  :rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am sorry.  :rub


Thank you for your kind words mate, much appreciated.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Not good


Awww. :hug

Chin up. 



SamanthaStrange said:


> Panicked and alone. I can't handle this anymore.


A huggie for you too. :hug

You can handle nearly anything, it's all in your mind.



Wanderlust26 said:


> Tired from all the anxiety, but relieved that the interview is over.


:hug

You did it. :yay



versikk said:


> Hahahaha hahahaha h+ahahas
> 
> Hahahaa+sh#h#+sshhshsj=jj#kall) &) & fl) *ND) dkd
> 
> Hahahass+#k) mlnnijfixdl#a(hahahahhahaa+


You seem to be happy, good to hear.



SparklingWater said:


> Inspired and excited!


Awesome. 



ShatteredGlass said:


> gay


Ok.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Panicked and alone. I can't handle this anymore.


:hug :squeeze



Crisigv said:


> Not good


:hug :squeeze


----------



## versikk

ANX1 said:


> Alone after seeing lots of people (especially fathers) with kids near the beach. Felt like crying, as something I will never get to experience.


All the feels.



> You seem to be happy, good to hear.


Laughing maniacally is my coping mechanism.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm so sore, all over my body. And it feels as if i had been flinging my wrist around for an hour straight.


----------



## funnynihilist

12:10pm and still in bed. Slightly hung over and sad.


----------



## EarthDominator

Sick...and still need to work in my house.


----------



## Kevin001

Meh....my head looks bad but whatever.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

Honestly, they should sell Anime on bottles for free 

I never fails to make me feel more happy 

Watch the first 1 minute of this episode:

http://www.animefreak.tv/watch/gintama-episode-1-2-english-dubbed-online-free

Warning: The website has pop-ups (Kind of like SAS )!


----------



## versikk

Kevin001 said:


> Meh....my head looks bad but whatever.


Considered shaving it all off?


----------



## Kevin001

versikk said:


> Considered shaving it all off?


Won't help my skin issues lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I'm so sore, all over my body. And it feels as if i had been flinging my wrist around for an hour straight.


:hug



karenw said:


> Tired I think I should get paid to sleep for a living. There's money to be made.


:hug



funnynihilist said:


> 12:10pm and still in bed. Slightly hung over and sad.


Aww. 



EarthDominator said:


> Sick...and still need to work in my house.


I hope you get better soon. 



Kevin001 said:


> Meh....my head looks bad but whatever.




Maybe wear a hat?



Ominous Indeed said:


> Honestly, they should sell Anime on bottles for free
> 
> I never fails to make me feel more happy
> 
> Watch the first 1 minute of this episode:
> 
> http://www.animefreak.tv/watch/gintama-episode-1-2-english-dubbed-online-free
> 
> Warning: The website has pop-ups (Kind of like SAS )!


Ok, thank you for sharing.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

versikk said:


> All the feels.


Thank you for your kind words. 



versikk said:


> Laughing maniacally is my coping mechanism.


I can understand that.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tipsy from the beer I am drinking right now.

...

Oops! I burped!

Lol.



Crisigv said:


> I'm so sore, all over my body. And it feels as if i had been flinging my wrist around for an hour straight.


:rub


----------



## Kevin001

@ANX1 not at work lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Kevin001

Well, security guards get to wear caps. :stu :grin2:


----------



## Kevin001

ANX1 said:


> @Kevin001
> 
> Well, security guards get to wear caps. :stu :grin2:


Nah not us


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Kevin001 said:


> Nah not us


Must be a bouncer then, as they are not allowed to wear caps. :sus :stu


----------



## Kevin001

^^ No lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

^^ :sus Are you sure?


----------



## CNikki

Contemplative.


----------



## Eyoga888

Pete Beale said:


> Hi, I'm from Birmingham but unfortunately I'm 40 so you wont want to talk to me. There's a guy here called @3stacks from Birmingham who you might want to get to know as he's only a year older than you.
> 
> Also, there's a birmingham based SA group on meetup.com you might want to attend for real life support.
> 
> Drop me a message though if you do want to talk to someone old enough to be your dad. I feel more 14 than bloody 40 tbh. lol


 @Pete Beale

Thanks for the suggestions


----------



## EarthDominator

Feel like I'm slowly dying, and not metaphorically. I might just have the start of pneumonia. Difficulty breathing, and when I succeed it hurts.


----------



## Crisigv

Moody. Just snapped at my mom for no reason.


----------



## purplereign722

Uncertain

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## 3stacks

Pretty good.


----------



## Chris S W

Tired, anxious, and sad.


----------



## versikk

I don't know


----------



## Kcnichols45

I've been awake for 36 hours my body refuses to let me sleep my now ex gf is trying to ruin my career and I'm in a situation where I'm not allowed to do my job for safety concerns. I exist for no reason atm.


----------



## SofaKing

Kcnichols45 said:


> I've been awake for 36 hours my body refuses to let me sleep my now ex gf is trying to ruin my career and I'm in a situation where I'm not allowed to do my job for safety concerns. I exist for no reason atm.


Sorry man. Is this a cautionary tale for dating a coworker?


----------



## funnynihilist

Burned out


----------



## Kevin001

Disappointed


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious.


----------



## llodell88

wonder why im so tired


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired and as though I may be getting sick


----------



## Marakunda

I'm feeling kind of okay recently. I talked to my doctor about my anxiety and officially got a diagnosis. I'm seeing a counselor now and getting some anxiety meds soon. Having a reason to leave home is helpful. I'm also probably going to get on disability and get some money coming in. My counselor seemed surprised when I told her I didn't have a job and said I should definitely be on disability. I've been exercising pretty much every day and I feel good, I feel much healthier then I did. I've also been drawing pretty often which is a goal of mine. I'd be nice to keep this up. I'll try.


----------



## funnynihilist

Sick...I ate too much stuffing


----------



## SmartCar

Marakunda said:


> I'm feeling kind of okay recently. I talked to my doctor about my anxiety and officially got a diagnosis. I'm seeing a counselor now and getting some anxiety meds soon. Having a reason to leave home is helpful. I'm also probably going to get on disability and get some money coming in. My counselor seemed surprised when I told her I didn't have a job and said I should definitely be on disability. I've been exercising pretty much every day and I feel good, I feel much healthier then I did. I've also been drawing pretty often which is a goal of mine. I'd be nice to keep this up. I'll try.


If it's not a sensitive question to ask, have you had trouble finding work because of anxiety etc ..you also seem pretty young to already go on disability; all that aside, nice that you're making improvement  :yes exercise & drawing are definitely good tools to get those endorphins going also


----------



## Marakunda

SmartCar said:


> If it's not a sensitive question to ask, *have you had trouble finding work because of anxiety *etc ..you also seem pretty young to already go on disability; all that aside, nice that you're making improvement  :yes exercise & drawing are definitely good tools to get those endorphins going also


Definitely have had trouble. I dropped out of high school because of my anxiety. I pretty much rely on my family for income. I can't even imagine having a job tbh. Hoping to change that though.


----------



## versikk

Marakunda said:


> . I've been exercising pretty much every day and I feel good, I feel much healthier then I did. I've also been drawing pretty often which is a goal of mine. .


Don't you ever stop.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## mobc1990

I am feeling good after a good nap,too bad my life has always been rough.


----------



## Kcnichols45

SofaKing said:


> Kcnichols45 said:
> 
> 
> 
> I've been awake for 36 hours my body refuses to let me sleep my now ex gf is trying to ruin my career and I'm in a situation where I'm not allowed to do my job for safety concerns. I exist for no reason atm.
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry man. Is this a cautionary tale for dating a coworker?
Click to expand...

 Nope more of a cautionary tale that some women are spiteful and that the military will burn your *** to save theirs.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

I am feeling good. I AM FEELING GOOD!! :boogie


----------



## versikk

geraltofrivia said:


> I am feeling good. I AM FEELING GOOD!! :boogie


Wow dude.

Hugs
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Kilgore Trout

versikk said:


> Wow dude.
> 
> Hugs
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thanks


----------



## Sus y

geraltofrivia said:


> I am feeling good. I AM FEELING GOOD!! :boogie


Awesome, I also see you evolved :b


----------



## SamanthaStrange

geraltofrivia said:


> I am feeling good. I AM FEELING GOOD!! :boogie


:yay


----------



## Lonerwolf

so frustration and bitter


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling that I love Koala's -






:mushy

and






Please someone give him some water.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

@Sus y @SamanthaStrange


----------



## Sus y

ANX1 said:


> Feeling that I love Koala's -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :mushy
> 
> and
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Please someone give him some water.


Hey, thanks for the video, I'll keep in mind to give water to a koala if ever see one :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sus y said:


> Hey, thanks for the video, I'll keep in mind to give water to a koala if ever see one


You're welcome. 

:lol

They are cute until they claw or bite you (usually only in self defence).

Much like a Kangaroo with claws.


----------



## funnynihilist

Tired, but I will go walk anyway cause we are getting one decent day of weather before it all turns to **** again.


----------



## versikk

aaaaasdad


----------



## SmartCar

Marakunda said:


> Definitely have had trouble. I dropped out of high school because of my anxiety. I pretty much rely on my family for income. I can't even imagine having a job tbh. Hoping to change that though.


Omg  I'm so sorry to hear, that's awful ..your SA must've been very debilitating in order for you to drop out. & yeah the workforce is not always pleasant, if it helps starting small like a position that doesn't involve being around a lot of folks can help a bit, but I feel you.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious and annoyed.


----------



## quietRiot10

Okayish. I did an induction today for a new job. Also managed to be assertive and take charge of a problem I needed an answer to.


----------



## versikk

Hello

have i reached insanity?

Ok good


----------



## Milano

Super tired ☺


----------



## llodell88

bored tired. woke up at 130 pm, why?


----------



## Crisigv

Bored and sad


----------



## funnynihilist

llodell88 said:


> bored tired. woke up at 130 pm, why?


Sometimes I stay in bed until after noon. It feels so good. Morning is a despicable time for me. Nothing good ever happens in the morning.


----------



## funnynihilist

Tuesday night, Christ this week is already dragging...


----------



## RelinquishedHell

funnynihilist said:


> Tuesday night, Christ this week is already dragging...


It's a scientific fact that time moves slower the more you think about it.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cold, bored, and lonely.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Chilly


----------



## Wanderlust26

Depressed and a little hopeless.


----------



## versikk

Fleeting, floating, flailing
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Alpha Tauri

Extremely apprehensive. I wish I'd just die in my sleep (too much of a ***** to kill myself) so won't have to feel anything anymore.


----------



## quietRiot10

Nervous, cold, tired


----------



## Sus y

A bit like a ****, I refuse to go to work :blank


----------



## Chris S W

So tired.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sad. I wish I had my own place so I could live in complete peace.


----------



## MCHB

Tired. I've gotten maybe 6 hours of sleep total since sunday; it would seem that my brain refuses to turn off!


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh. Getting dumped on with snow is like an insult. But even if the weather was nice I have no place exciting to go.


----------



## Crisigv

Tired, cold and lonely. This would be the perfect time for snuggling. I guess I'll go make a coffee.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious about the deadline closing in on me


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Discontent.


----------



## EarthDominator

Recovring from my flu (plus throat infection and pneumonia) remarkably and unusually fast, but I take that as a good thing.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry. Need food.


----------



## 3stacks

lonely


----------



## Johnny Walker

3stacks said:


> lonely


 

I feel apathy oke


----------



## 3stacks

Johnny Walker said:


> I feel apathy oke


Yeah I feel that as well lol :hs Hopefully you'll feel better soon. 1 more day of work then its the weekend


----------



## unsocial lego

Unhappy with life as usual.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

3stacks said:


> lonely


:rub


----------



## 3stacks

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> lonely
Click to expand...

 Thank ya, did you get some food? lol


----------



## funnynihilist

Blah


----------



## CNikki

Tired.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Feeling down and the gloomy weather is making it worse.


----------



## discoveryother

Wanderlust26 said:


> Feeling down and the gloomy weather is making it worse.


same here :/


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

3stacks said:


> Thank ya, did you get some food? lol


Lol yeah. Now it is time for dinner.


----------



## discoveryother

EarthDominator said:


> Recovring from my flu (plus throat infection and pneumonia) remarkably and unusually fast, but I take that as a good thing.


hope you get better soon


----------



## discoveryother

Crisigv said:


> Tired, cold and lonely. This would be the perfect time for snuggling. I guess I'll go make a coffee.


same. i'd be up for some snuggling.


----------



## Barakiel

Better, but still cautious 'cause you never know when anxiety can sneak up on you.


----------



## llodell88

angry, i wish someone would take a look in the mirror and look at how disgusting and childish they are behaving. Someone who is emotinally a child and viciously tried to hurt me, and did exactly that, accusing me of being childish, watches me all day and talks about how i'm on the internet all day


----------



## llodell88

223 wide awake, wired all day


----------



## Flora20

Exhausted sad and depressed cause everyday I come home is the same bad news  wish there was some good news for a change...


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like I don't belong in this world.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like an anomaly



SamanthaStrange said:


> Like I don't belong in this world.


You can come with my when I steal the first ship to Mars and escape to form new world for people like us. Then we can look back and call the Earthlings Aliens


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Despondent and empty.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Canadian Brotha said:


> You can come with my when I steal the first ship to Mars and escape to form new world for people like us. Then we can look back and call the Earthlings Aliens


Deal.


----------



## harrison

Bored senseless.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Bored senseless.


Maybe this below might help for 8 mintues or so -






Such a cool event, as wouldn't get bored.

I hope it makes you feel better.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, self loathing, & antisocial


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bitter.


----------



## chrissyq3838

Scared terrified of how ugly and alone i am


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Maybe this below might help for 8 mintues or so -
> 
> Such a cool event, as wouldn't get bored.
> 
> I hope it makes you feel better.


Definitely put a smile on my face mate - that was fantatsic! 

How did you come across something like that?

(as for me I just need to get out there again and do something)


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Definitely put a smile on my face mate - that was fantastic!
> 
> How did you come across something like that?
> 
> (as for me I just need to get out there again and do something)


Good to hear that it made you smile. 

I was looking at dance video clips and it appeared on the right side, so decided to watch it.


----------



## Crisigv

Who cares? It's always the same.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel like I'm wasting my time.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Unresolved


----------



## Wanderlust26

Disgusted. Ugh! -_-


----------



## 0589471

confused


----------



## Peacefulness

Feeling good  I meditated earlier on, had a biceps/forearms workout at home and now I'm going to the gym for a chest workout. I think my brain over-dosed on dopamine.


----------



## Kevin001

Different.....I'm not like most people.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

sad
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Cyan22

blocked


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Despondent.

Again.

Yay?

In before emotional eating begins!!!1


----------



## Alpha Tauri

geraltofrivia said:


> sad
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:hug


----------



## llodell88

wanna throwup


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed, and stressed. This week is going to be difficult.


----------



## Sentine1

Terrible. I wish someone would put me out of my misery


----------



## Sentine1

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed, and stressed. This week is going to be difficult.


Why's that? I just want to think about something else than my frustrations.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Terrible


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sentine1 said:


> Why's that? I just want to think about something else than my frustrations.


I don't want to get into details, but dealing with several stressful events all at once, with very little emotional support.


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed and anxious


----------



## funnynihilist

Blah!


----------



## CNikki

Sensitive...or at least more so than usual.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Canadian Brotha said:


> Terrible


 :rub



SamanthaStrange said:


> I don't want to get into details, but dealing with several stressful events all at once, with very little emotional support.


:hug :rub



Crisigv said:


> Depressed and anxious


 :hug :squeeze



CNikki said:


> Sensitive...or at least more so than usual.


:hug :rub


----------



## chrissyq3838

Im feeling like i got hit by a truck


----------



## chrissyq3838

I feel like im dieing of loneliness


----------



## Wanderlust26

Lonely....


----------



## Crisigv

I have a headache from crying so much and it's making me dizzy now.


----------



## chrissyq3838

I feel awful worse then awful


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Chin up ladies! 



Wanderlust26 said:


> Lonely....


 :hug



Crisigv said:


> I have a headache from crying so much and it's making me dizzy now.


 :rub :hug :squeeze



chrissyq3838 said:


> I feel awful worse then awful


 :hug


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Extremely and terribly sad. 
I think I had not felt this sad in a while.

I just want a girlfriend for god's sake. I just want to experience for once in my life what is it like to love, and be loved. I see romance in movies and my heart breaks. Why must I not have that? It hurts. It hurts really really bad.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## discopotato

Overwhelmed.


----------



## versikk

geraltofrivia said:


> . I see romance in movies and my heart breaks. Why must I not have that? It hurts. It hurts really really bad.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I feel exactly the same. I am drowning in loneliness, barely keeping my head over the water level.

I just wanna say tho, romance in movies is not realistic. That being said, romance does indeed exist irl..... Altho being mammals (sexual organisms) I wonder how much of our search for 'love' really is just a search for a source of regular, satisfying sex. Nahmean?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Kilgore Trout

versikk said:


> I feel exactly the same. I am drowning in loneliness, barely keeping my head over the water level.
> 
> I just wanna say tho, romance in movies is not realistic. That being said, romance does indeed exist irl..... Altho being mammals (sexual organisms) I wonder how much of our search for 'love' really is just a search for a source of regular, satisfying sex. Nahmean?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I want sex too. It's OK to want sex.
But I also want someone to love. Someone to hold hands with. Someone to call "honey". 
I'm tired of these simple things being a dream for me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## llodell88

i feel stupid, not like i did something stupid, just that stupid blahhh feeling.


----------



## novalax

I feel like I have the flu...because I have the flu.


----------



## 0589471

super needy for his attention. I'm pathetic.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> super needy for his attention. I'm pathetic.


Reverse the genders in this and you have how I am feeling, right now.


----------



## funnynihilist

Full


----------



## 3stacks

Dumb and confused


----------



## MCHB

Not T-bag!


----------



## i suck at life

bloated and too lazy to go out


----------



## Wanderlust26

Perpetually hungry.


----------



## funnynihilist

Wanderlust26 said:


> Perpetually hungry.


Haav some chalklate


----------



## Wanderlust26

funnynihilist said:


> Haav some chalklate


I ran out! I'm stocking up tomorrow though.


----------



## birddookie

@chrissyq3838 @Wanderlust26

Why are y'all feeling lonely? 
@Crisigv

Sorry you're going through this. Why are you crying Crisigv?
@geraltofrivia @versikk

I wish I could help y'all, but I'm in the same boat. I know one thing is to not dwell on not having a girlfriend, as i'm not doing that now, and I feel a lot better for it.
@discopotato

What has you feeling overwhelmed?
@llodell88

I get that feeling when I have bad sinuses. Do you know why you're feeling this way?
@novalax

Hope you get better.
@A Toxic Butterfly @iAmCodeMonkey

I don't think that is pathetic. Y'all might have a legitimate concern to want extra attention. Hope y'all get this worked out.
@3stacks

What's making you feel dumb and confused?

If this is inappropriate for this thread just don't respond or delete. I feel concerned for y'all, and hope whatever is troubling y'all will pass.

I feel tired, I'm going to sleep, have a good night!


----------



## chrissyq3838

Dreadful


----------



## tea111red

Will probably be single for the rest of my life. :no


----------



## CNikki

Sick. Perfect timing.


----------



## tea111red

Up worrying about my future. Trying to decide on the right path to take. :no


----------



## Kevin001

Nice, bible study time .


----------



## SofaKing

Like a relic...more like the French fry that has fallen between the car seat and the console.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Fatigued from my stuffy nose. Probably from allergies again. "sniff sniff"

...

and I might have high-functioning depression right now. Lol.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired. Depressed.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Tired. Depressed.


 :hug


----------



## Sk1n1m1n

Tired bored fed up lonely 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro


----------



## CNikki

Anxious. It seems to happen at night lately.


----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## Crisigv

Not tired enough. Miserable.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired from my cold. I need to get to sleep like a good little boy.
...

Nah, bad little boy sounds cooler. Lol.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Anxious. It seems to happen at night lately.


 :hug



Crisigv said:


> Not tired enough. Miserable.


 :hug :squeeze



Coincidence said:


>


My beard is mighty jealous of the dude on the left. :lol


----------



## love is like a dream

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> My beard is mighty jealous of the dude on the left. :lol


----------



## 0589471

tired. sad.


----------



## Sk1n1m1n

Angry mad with my dog


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


----------



## versikk

I took a Valium yesterday morning and I feel.... Decent? Can't imagine how I'd feel without it, probably quite crappy.

Since the Valium half life is like 5 days I am a bit disappointed tbh
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Kilgore Trout

meh


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Lonely as ****, which probably explains why I'm back on this site today.


----------



## karenw

Did the break from the site help?


----------



## Scrub-Zero

yes, It did.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

sleepy


----------



## SplendidBob

Like actually ringing the Samaritans. Phone anxiety tho lol.


----------



## 3stacks

splendidbob said:


> Like actually ringing the Samaritans. Phone anxiety tho lol.


 You could email them at [email protected] although they respond within 24 hours so it might not be as quick as you want? Just thought that might be useful?


----------



## LDSSupportHealer

I realize that my LORD JESUS CHRIST loves me today. It's like waking up to a wonderful dream and having it be real. HE fought for us when a third of the Kingdom rebelled and caused a war. And on top of all that HE sacrificed HIMSELF as a perfect sacrifice to some how save us from satan's grasp. The LORD's love is so great, I just love HIM because of it, and will now live HIS commandments to make it home to Heaven to be with HIM and the LORD GOD forever. I celebrate HIM because HE is life eternal and all that is good!


----------



## LDSSupportHealer

I realize that my LORD JESUS CHRIST loves me today. It's like waking up to a wonderful dream and having it be real. HE fought for us when a third of the Kingdom rebelled and caused a war. And on top of all that HE sacrificed HIMSELF as a perfect sacrifice to some how save us from satan's grasp. The LORD's love is so great I just love HIM because of it, and will now live HIS commandments to make it home to Heaven to be with HIM and the LORD GOD forever. I celebrate HIM because HE is life eternal and all that is good!


----------



## LDSSupportHealer

*GOD Lives!!!!!*



geraltofrivia said:


> meh


I realize that my LORD JESUS CHRIST loves me today. It's like waking up to a wonderful dream and having it be real. HE fought for us when a third of the Kingdom rebelled and caused a war. And on top of all that HE sacrificed HIMSELF as a perfect sacrifice to some how save us from satan's grasp. The LORD's love is so great I just love HIM because of it, and will now live HIS commandments to make it home to Heaven to be with HIM and the LORD GOD forever. I celebrate HIM because HE is life eternal and all that is good!


----------



## Crisigv

Like worthless garbage, as usual.


----------



## funnynihilist

Bored with everything


----------



## tea111red

Less lazy and out of shape, lol. Did 20 min. on this stepper thing....better than not doing it at all, lol.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired from my little cold/allergies thingie and a bit lonely again, to be brutally honest.

At least I have my fifth lesson for my online uni course to keep me busy tonight.

The second course I signed up for starts in April. Should be interesting.



Crisigv said:


> Like worthless garbage, as usual.


Sorry you still feel that way about yourself.  :hug :squeeze

Here is a big hug from me to you:


----------



## komorikun

LDSSupportHealer said:


> I realize that my LORD JESUS CHRIST loves me today. It's like waking up to a wonderful dream and having it be real. HE fought for us when a third of the Kingdom rebelled and caused a war. And on top of all that HE sacrificed HIMSELF as a perfect sacrifice to some how save us from satan's grasp. The LORD's love is so great I just love HIM because of it, and will now live HIS commandments to make it home to Heaven to be with HIM and the LORD GOD forever. I celebrate HIM because HE is life eternal and all that is good!


:spam


----------



## Crisigv

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sorry you still feel that way about yourself.  :hug :squeeze
> 
> Here is a big hug from me to you:


Thanks. But I am pretty sure other people have the same opinion of me.


----------



## vela

Not very social but my depression has been a bit better. I've been more positive about life lately.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Numb and empty.


----------



## AffinityWing

Okay, I guess.

I was feeling terrible today, thinking about how every time it seems I take one step forward of improvement, I'm taking 10 steps backwards. Like improvement is just a giant illusion, hiding behind the darkness that wants to swallow me hole. That my life is just one giant bog that I can't pull myself out of no matter how hard I struggle. 

I saw that I got a text message telling me to call my counselor about some sort of "student loan forgiveness" because the deadline to fill it out is tomorrow. I don't know if this was something from the scam numbers I keep getting or not, because the number didn't have the correct area code and was one that I didn't recognize and was never given to me. Nor did my counselor mention anything about any "student loan forgiveness". (Because I recently went there to talk about my very low GPA, as I hadn't gone to almost any of my classes this semester). 

I called the number to check and I got nervous, stuttering and not being able to properly get out what I wanted to say when the attendant asked me if I've filled it out already. I just said my loan was already paid online, and then he said something very fast and hung up on me!  What I actually wanted to explain was how I was scared I'd lose my financial aid because of the low attendance, since it was paid mostly through it, and ask further about the service but I heard him mutter something along the lines of "Then why are you calling?" before he hung up really fast. It made me feel terrible and I was really scared to call back. So I was just staring at my phone confusedly and had no idea what just happened. 

The whole thing sounded shady so I only hope it was some sort of scam. But then how would these people know I am in loan trouble?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Still numb.

Still empty.

... and then I find this: http://sheisapsychonowrun.blogspot.ca/2013/07/shes-evil-and-shes-always-victim.html



> Contrary to the popular misconception, political correctness among mental health care professionals and active marketing by the *Borderline Personality Disorder* money machine, there are as many female psychopaths as males roaming the world. This notion of psychopaths being mostly male is reverse, ad hoc sexism. If there is equality between the sexes in all other aspects of life, then this equally applies to *psychopathy*.


...



> *If you are a nice guy you are more of a target-they will often remark how kind and nice you are. This makes you easy prey. *You will also find that the early sweet loving kindness performance of the female psychopath will be interrupted now and again with a nasty and mean performance. Then a cycle develops where the frequencies of the nasty state increases-while the kindness state become less and less. Eventually, from the height of loving, idealisation and adoration the female psychopath obsessively showered you with in the early days-you will find yourself trapped in a negative, unloving and exploitative lifestyle not of your making.


I don't know what to believe anymore.


----------



## Crisigv

So so tired. I'm a bit out of it. And a bit upset that my feelings never seem to be taken seriously.


----------



## 3stacks

Really sad


----------



## 0589471

Scrub-Zero said:


> Lonely as ****, which probably explains why I'm back on this site today.


exactly my reason for coming back too.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

**** you allergies!!!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hopeless.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Hopeless.


Stay strong. :hug


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh


----------



## SofaKing

Ick...medications have side effects. Maybe nature should just run its course, instead.


----------



## Sk1n1m1n

In a huge amount of pain completely exhausted can barely walk and all i wanna do now is sleep


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


----------



## twistix

Sad, worried


----------



## BeeCharmer

Imprisoned.


----------



## SplendidBob

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Still numb.
> 
> Still empty.
> 
> ... and then I find this: http://sheisapsychonowrun.blogspot.ca/2013/07/shes-evil-and-shes-always-victim.html
> 
> ...
> 
> I don't know what to believe anymore.


If she has borderline, then she will also go for nice guys, the nicest guys possible.

Essentially, its about abandonment, and fear of it. The nicer the guy, the more devoted they will be and the less likely they will abandon her. But it's never really about that, because the whole thing is in her head, so eventually even the nicest guy in the world will do something that will make her think he is going to abandon her, and then things swing from you being amazeballs, to the worst person ever, and the fun starts.

Not saying don't dabble with someone that has BPD, just saying educate yourself and be very ****ing careful, and if she does have that diagnosis she had better be getting DBT.

Be careful mate. When you start doubting stuff, that is a clear sign you are being manipulated. Borderlines don't manipulate purposefully, its a defensive thing, but it can still totally screw you up. A narcissist or psychopath will manipulate for ****s and giggles, they can coexist, but the difference is that the borderline is intensely vulnerable emotionally and they have learned these behaviours.

Please be careful, because you are a lovely fella, it makes you super vulnerable.



SamanthaStrange said:


> Hopeless.


Feeling similar, hope you feel better soon :hug


* *





Decided not to post this bit. Mildly sexual / sexist content. Mods are watching me (or someone is and is reporting).


----------



## harrison

Surprisingly calm - especially after yesterday, which was a strange day.

I think I'm finally coming to terms with my current situation.


----------



## funnynihilist

Three days of rain can do something to a person


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

splendidbob said:


> If she has borderline, then she will also go for nice guys, the nicest guys possible.
> 
> Essentially, its about abandonment, and fear of it. The nicer the guy, the more devoted they will be and the less likely they will abandon her. But it's never really about that, because the whole thing is in her head, so eventually even the nicest guy in the world will do something that will make her think he is going to abandon her, and then things swing from you being amazeballs, to the worst person ever, and the fun starts.
> 
> Not saying don't dabble with someone that has BPD, just saying educate yourself and be very ****ing careful, and if she does have that diagnosis she had better be getting DBT.
> 
> Be careful mate. When you start doubting stuff, that is a clear sign you are being manipulated. Borderlines don't manipulate purposefully, its a defensive thing, but it can still totally screw you up. A narcissist or psychopath will manipulate for ****s and giggles, they can coexist, but the difference is that the borderline is intensely vulnerable emotionally and they have learned these behaviors.
> 
> Please be careful, because you are a lovely fella, it makes you super vulnerable.


Thank you. I appreciate the response.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> So so tired. I'm a bit out of it. And a bit upset that my feelings never seem to be taken seriously.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## Sk1n1m1n

Pissed off - had a bad night sleep last night grr why cant my pain sort it self out


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


----------



## versikk

splendidbob said:


> If she has borderline, then she will also go for nice guys, the nicest guys possible.
> 
> Essentially, its about abandonment, and fear of it. The nicer the guy, the more devoted they will be and the less likely they will abandon her. But it's never really about that, because the whole thing is in her head, so eventually even the nicest guy in the world will do something that will make her think he is going to abandon her, and then things swing from you being amazeballs, to the worst person ever, and the fun starts.
> 
> Not saying don't dabble with someone that has BPD, just saying educate yourself and be very ****ing careful, and if she does have that diagnosis she had better be getting DBT.
> 
> Be careful mate. When you start doubting stuff, that is a clear sign you are being manipulated. Borderlines don't manipulate purposefully, its a defensive thing, but it can still totally screw you up. A narcissist or psychopath will manipulate for ****s and giggles, they can coexist, but the difference is that the borderline is intensely vulnerable emotionally and they have learned these behaviours.
> 
> Please be careful, because you are a lovely fella, it makes you super vulnerable.
> 
> Feeling similar, hope you feel better soon :hug
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Decided not to post this bit. Mildly sexual / sexist content. Mods are watching me (or someone is and is reporting).


had experience with BPD persons - never again.

Run away at the *soonest* sign of BPD and/or NPD/OCPD in a prospect friend/lover. like you said they might not even understand how deep their web of lies are woven and it's just a nightmare to entangle yourself in their webs..... let go is my recommendation..... i'm sorry.

----------------

Umm, I woke up with a 'splosive headache and neck pain, I think it's sexual tension and perhaps some benzo abstinence. Some hours later I have taken my SSRI, eaten food, drunk a bunch of water and took another klonopin and headache is almost gone.

Also feel very unfocused tho like the Bodymind is trying to guide me in the right direction but I find it hard to listen. I know i have projects to progress with, I know I'm horny as all hell, and I know I'm lonely. so it's some kind of combo of those I guess.

In the process of setting up my new security system and as with anything new and/or exciting it gives me anxiety so yay, working thru that now as well.

ummm signing off


----------



## Taaylah

Blah


----------



## Crisigv

pathetic


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Okay.

...

Just okay.



Crisigv said:


> pathetic


Oh come on now! You are not pathetic. :hug :squeeze


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Irritated that my last job mishandled my 401k. Now it's stuck in an IRA I didn't want.


----------



## funnynihilist

Blah


----------



## thomasjune

Pretty good. Probably go hang out at my sister's house with her family this Sunday but besides that,nothing much to do this weekend and I love it that way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## CNikki

Regretful. Dreadful. Like I want to die.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Sad that things ended like that. Sad they had to end.


----------



## llodell88

tired, scared this requester is gonna block me. cant believe i did over a hundred of those hits and didn't realize what was going on.


----------



## tea111red

Tired of the lousy progress w/ the opposite sex.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Tired of the lousy progress w/ the opposite sex.


Oh Mitch, oh Mitch, over here. :grin2:


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> Oh Mitch, oh Mitch, over here. :grin2:


Progress w/ him is lousy, too, lol.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Progress w/ him is lousy, too, lol.


:lol

Mitch's friend Kitt never talked to me too.

I sat in Kitt, the original Knightrider TV show car years ago when was a kid (after a demo on how it speaks, etc) and it didn't talk to me (has a microphone connected to the car that the actor talks into which creates the voice that you hear on the TV show). It talked to Mitch or Michael? as they called him in the Knightrider TV show. 

When I see Knightrider TV show again, it is like seeing my old friend Kitt that knew Michael?.   :grin2:


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> :lol
> 
> Mitch's friend Kitt never talked to me too.
> 
> I sat in Kitt, the original Knightrider TV show car years ago when was a kid (after a demo on how it speaks, etc) and it didn't talk to me (has a microphone connected to the car that the actor talks into which creates the voice that you hear on the TV show). It talked to Mitch or Michael? as they called him in the Knightrider TV show.
> 
> When I see Knightrider TV show again, it is like seeing my old friend Kitt that knew Michael?.   :grin2:


That sounds like a cool experience.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> That sounds like a cool experience.


:yes.

I was kind of excited to hear it speak to me, like in the demo, TV show, but no. 

It's like meeting Santa that isn't from the North Pole (that kind of disapointment).


----------



## jolene23

Very sad.


----------



## jolene23

karenw said:


> It shouldnt last
> 
> Lazy


Hopefully &#128578;


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

jolene23 said:


> Very sad.


Oi, chin up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

llodell88 said:


> tired, scared this requester is gonna block me. cant believe i did over a hundred of those hits and didn't realize what was going on.


:hug


----------



## fluorish

Having trouble breathing due to stress aka panic attacks


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> So so tired. I'm a bit out of it. And a bit upset that my feelings never seem to be taken seriously.


:hug



twistix said:


> Sad, worried


:hug



BeeCharmer said:


> Imprisoned.


:hug



splendidbob said:


> Feeling similar.


Chin up mate. 



harrison said:


> Surprisingly calm - especially after yesterday, which was a strange day.
> 
> I think I'm finally coming to terms with my current situation.


Awesome mate. 



Taaylah said:


> Blah


:hug



Crisigv said:


> pathetic


:hug


----------



## BeeCharmer

Sick and tired of this world. 
Men and Women need to stop constantly battling each other. :argue


----------



## Kevin001

Anxious getting a haircut this morning.


----------



## jolene23

ANX1 said:


> Oi, chin up.


Thank you &#128578;


----------



## jolene23

karenw said:


> Ive still not sorted out my outfit  whatever I try I dont think it looks good, I dont know why, Im only going to local bars.  I cant be asked to go but Im going to make an effort.


You can't go wrong with a black dress. That's always good choice in my opinion. &#128578;


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

jolene23 said:


> Thank you &#128578;


You're welcome.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Regretful. Dreadful. Like I want to die.


I am so sorry.  :hug :squeeze


----------



## versikk

hungry, horny, lonely.


----------



## 0589471

unwanted, unneeded.


----------



## Vip3r

Happiness hangover, back to reality. :sigh


----------



## chrissyq3838

Like worthless unlikable crap


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> unwanted, unneeded.


I am sorry.  :hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious. Tired.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious. Tired.


Sorry you feel that way!  :hug


----------



## Crisigv

Trapped and alone


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Trapped and alone


I am so sorry you feel that way. 

Here is a big hug: :rub :hug :cuddle :squeeze

I hope this helps you.


----------



## versikk

Crisigv said:


> Trapped and alone


I feel that loneliness brings about a feeling of being trapped:serious:


----------



## Overcast

I had a week off from university so I feel relaxed. Tomorrow I start classes again unfortunately.


----------



## Taaylah

I need to move out


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Kind of hyper. Just started my workout earlier than planned and it's going very well.


----------



## versikk

just ridiculously tense


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Glad to be home alone.


----------



## CNikki

Terrible.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Glad to be home alone.






CNikki said:


> Terrible.


  :hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> &#128578;


Whatever that is, I can't see it. I just see random characters, lol.


----------



## funnynihilist

SamanthaStrange said:


> Glad to be home alone.


Amen!


----------



## GeomTech

*sigh* Super bored, but super scared to do anything about it. Oh, well. Continuance with the boredom I suppose.


----------



## unsocial lego

Exhausted mentally or emotionally not sure how to describe it.


----------



## EmyMax

Extremely tired and nervous.
I haven't had a good sleep since 2 months now, and my IBS symptoms have worsened. Plus today I also have family relatives coming over at my place for lunch, which means I have to get up early even though I would had definitely loved to stay in bed reading and relax a bit.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Whatever that is, I can't see it. I just see random characters, lol.


Wow lol, something must have gone wrong on the mobile side of things when I posted that. It was the happy face:


----------



## Crisigv

Like a mistake


----------



## Blue Dino

The feeling of dread and having nothing to look forward to is setting in again. A few more days before I am back to facing reality and resuming dealing with life. Not looking forward to it at all.


----------



## fluorish

Everything that is a bad adjective is how I am feeling. I need to soul search and meditate and get out of this mess before it’s too late.


----------



## Kevin001

Icky....hope I'm not getting sick.


----------



## Crisigv

Not sure whether I got enough sleep or not. I'm thinking I got a nap, rather than sleep. I could go either way today, be dead to the world, or have enough energy to get through the day.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Not sure whether I got enough sleep or not. I'm thinking I got a nap, rather than sleep. I could go either way today, be dead to the world, or have enough energy to get through the day.


&#128542; :hug


----------



## Overcast

Tired as ****. I woke up at 3am today for some reason and couldn't fall back to sleep. I have classes later today so I'll have to drink like 5 cups of coffee or something.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Feeling like tossing myself off a bridge, and grabbing the ledge at the last minute because i'm a *****.


----------



## Downy

Scrub-Zero said:


> Feeling like tossing myself off a bridge, and grabbing the ledge at the last minute because i'm a *****.


Feelinf similar. Might close shave, put some wax in my hair, wear some expensive street clothes and shoes and walk to town.

Or just doing all of that but going for a 5km run instead.

Feeling this way too as its the same old bordom **** everyday. 2.08am where I am and i should be sleeping but no i don't want to have to wake up to that **** feeli g of another nothing day.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel lost


----------



## loneranger

Depressed

Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk


----------



## Kilgore Trout

I feel sad. 
I also feel like everybody hates me because this person doesn't seem to like me. 
I also feel defeated because I wasn't quite able to do something I was trying to do.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cursed.


----------



## keysley

I feel fantastic!!


----------



## 552569

I'm so happy! I had a great Easter yesterday with my loved ones and it was the best day I've had in a while. <3


----------



## llodell88

My mother is reading "Surviving Schizophrenia". Saw it on her bed, which is really annoying and not funny at all. I've been out of the hospital for 6 months now, god. But I guess she really doesn't want to believe some ex-boyfriend is watching us all the time and seen her in all her private moments too. She really is clueless, she insisted the smallest cameras they make are like 6 inches long or something, and considering the type of AI tools he has access to, stuff most people don't realize anyone would have stuff that can do what he is doing..if he wants to put hidden cameras in someone's house it's not like he's going to do it in any ordinary way. He probably has the best ones anyone could get is my thinking.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired. I predict an early bedtime tonight.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@llodell88

That is more being paranoid which can relate to paranoid schizophrenia. But sometimes being paranoid is a genuine response to manipulation or the environment a person has been in.

Sometimes sociopaths like to say someone is crazy when they don't understand what they say, which can be them just joking. They only understand hurting people or sarcastic humour.


----------



## EBecca

I feel weird atm, idk how to explain it. A bit detached from the world but at the same time thinking too much about stuff. Also I'm afraid I might be boring or annoying for some reason.


----------



## gnomealone

I'm feeling like I'm not salvageable at this point. Too many "second chances"
have passed me by or willfully avoided. regret posting negativity here 'cause
it just adds to my tally of ill effect. there seems to be nothing I'm capable of doing that doesn't produce some degree of harm. Cornered.:serious:


----------



## 0589471

Restless. Like I'm waiting on bad news to be delivered.


----------



## fishstew

with my hands.


----------



## funnynihilist

Like I had caffeine


----------



## Ominous Indeed

I haven't been this anxious in at least 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 years.


----------



## Vip3r

Trying to relax after a stressful day.


----------



## llodell88

ANX1 said:


> @llodell88
> 
> That is more being paranoid which can relate to paranoid schizophrenia. But sometimes being paranoid is a genuine response to manipulation or the environment a person has been in.
> 
> Sometimes sociopaths like to say someone is crazy when they don't understand what they say, which can be them just joking. They only understand hurting people or sarcastic humour.


I don't really feel paranoid, I'm not even thinking about being watched most of the day, it's just there's obvious hints that he's aware of what i'm doing throughout my house and if he's been doing it on and off for 10 years it's unlikely he's going to hurt me. He has some ai tool that can edit people's clothes, put clothing on them, etc, and it looks pretty realistic which is why he likes putting fake commercials for clothing brands on my computer, or videos of fake fashion events, store openings, etc. I think he just needs some sort of way to play with his toys. Some sort of tool like like deepface too, i think that's what it was called anyway. Sitting here reading about neural networks, no clue what I'm reading.

And I'm typing this and re-reading it and I keep saying the word "edit" thoughout it over and over again and I never typed that. No clue what he's trying to communicate ever.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

llodell88 said:


> I don't really feel paranoid, I'm not even thinking about being watched most of the day, it's just there's obvious hints that he's aware of what i'm doing throughout my house and if he's been doing it on and off for 10 years it's unlikely he's going to hurt me. He has some ai tool that can edit people's clothes, put clothing on them, etc, and it looks pretty realistic which is why he likes putting fake commercials for clothing brands on my computer, or videos of fake fashion events, store openings, etc. I think he just needs some sort of way to play with his toys. Some sort of tool like like deepface too, i think that's what it was called anyway. Sitting here reading about neural networks, no clue what I'm reading.
> 
> And I'm typing this and re-reading it and I keep saying the word "edit" thoughout it over and over again and I never typed that. No clue what he's trying to communicate ever.


Sounds like you have a stalker.

He probably knows your routines.

Neural networks sounds like how the brain makes connections electrically. Most likely learnt from observing brain scans when a person does a certain task.

Heart is similar where electrical activity is how it works. It is why they use electricity to start the heart again. One thing I have learnt is medication can affect the chemical which affects the electrical activity of a heart. Same with the brain.


----------



## versikk

I'm alternating between feeling OK and being bonkers 3000 (in the bad way) :/

time to push thru another fzkxing day
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Wanderlust26

Infuriated

...and suspicious about something else.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired of the constant struggle. Tired of living.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

@Ominous Indeed
@SamanthaStrange

:hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

geraltofrivia said:


> @SamanthaStrange
> 
> :hug


 Thanks.


----------



## Crisigv

so tired, so sad and just want my life to end


----------



## Going Sane

sorry had to lighten up the tone a little bit lol my thoughts go out to all of you,


----------



## EBecca

calm


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> so tired, so sad and just want my life to end


I am sorry you are in this much pain.

:hug :squeeze


----------



## EBecca

Crisigv said:


> so tired, so sad and just want my life to end


 stay strong :squeeze


----------



## birddookie

@EBecca
Glad you feel calm now.:smile2:
@gnomealone
Missing second chances is social anxieties middle name, and see where you're coming from, if I knew the answer I would give it to you. Hope you feel better.:hug
@A Toxic Butterfly
Sorry to hear that, and wish you a good nights sleep. Hopefully it's just the SA making you think that.:squeeze
@fishstew
What are you feeling with your hands stew?:laugh:
@funnynihilist
Love that feeling :hyper
@Ominous Indeed
Still trust you to perform open heart surgery on me. Hope your nerves cool off.:squeeze
@llodell88
Woah that guy has skills, A book like that would probably leave most people feeling that way.:wink2:
@versikk
Hope your day is ok and you push through like a champ.
@Wanderlust26
Interest is piqued please continue on.
@SamanthaStrange @Crisigv
Hope that y'all futures has brighter days.:squeeze
@Going crazy


Ran out of images, there is a 10 emoji limit on a post.


----------



## Wanderlust26

birddookie said:


> @*Wanderlust26*
> Interest is piqued please continue on.


I'm just mad at my boyfriend.


----------



## versikk

birddookie said:


> @versikk
> Hope your day is ok and you push through like a champ.


Pushing dookies. Pushing daisies.

thanks


----------



## tea111red

It's painful being alive today.


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh


----------



## bipolar92

hungry but lazy. Don't feel like getting up to eat.


----------



## chrissyq3838

Really bad


----------



## birddookie

@*Wanderlust26* 
Tell him there are 100's of single guys on SAS, and he better get his act straight.:grin2: Haha J/K, hope y'all resolve whatever is causing the problem.:smile2: @*versikk* 
Dookie? You're getting compensated well for it right?
@*tea111red* 
:frown2::hug Hope you feel better, and in better spirits.
@*funnynihilist* :serious: Whats going on?
@*bipolar92* 
Hmm at an impasse, to eat or not to eat that is the question? I'm sure there's an equation for H how hungry you are that will pass over your need of L of how lazy you are.:nerd:
@chrissyq3838
Hope your troubled time will pass.:squeeze


----------



## tea111red

^thank you for the well wishes and support.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> so tired, so sad and just want my life to end


:hug

Sleep helps with those feelings. Try breathing in and out fully, as can help to wake you up a bit and feel less depressed.



tea111red said:


> It's painful being alive today.


Probably tired, as you said you were struggling to sleep. :hug

Try thinking of something happy in your past. I find that helps me to sleep, as don't think of stressful things.

I wish you get some good sleep with pleasant dreams.


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> Sleep helps with those feelings. Try breathing in and out fully, as can help to wake you up a bit and feel less depressed.
> 
> Probably tired, as you said you were struggling to sleep. :hug
> 
> Try thinking of something happy in your past. I find that helps me to sleep, as don't think of stressful things.
> 
> I wish you get some good sleep with pleasant dreams.


Yeah, I am sleep deprived...it's true that's playing a role.

The memories that have made me feel the most happy also help cause me a lot of pain, lol. Kind of tough.


----------



## Blue Dino

Back to living a "nothing to look forward to" mode. Add to dreading a series of crappy things I have to deal with and endure through these coming weeks or months. Maybe longer. 

I guess the key now is to start seeking things, hobbies and indulgences to distract myself with from time to time, to help me cope through these things better and motivate me to get through the days. But this is easier said than done with so many social obstructions and barriers.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Yeah, I am sleep deprived...it's true that's playing a role.
> 
> The memories that have made me feel the most happy also help cause me a lot of pain, lol. Kind of tough.


:hug

Oh, ok. 

Hmmmm, let me think. Alot of pain, but happy. Here is some new memories -






  :lol


----------



## tea111red

Blue Dino said:


> Back to living a "nothing to look forward to" mode. Add to dreading a series of crappy things I have to deal with and endure through these coming weeks or months. Maybe longer.


Yeah, that mode is rough.  really requires strength to be motivated to do stuff when in a less than optimal state. Hopefully you can keep pushing on through the tough times and can find a way to make your days better.

I think it'll feel good when what you're dealing with has passed and that you'll feel better for gaining more strength.


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> :hug
> 
> Oh, ok.
> 
> Hmmmm, let me think. Alot of pain, but happy.


Yeah, the good memories lead to feelings of loss and despair. Some also help trigger feelings of powerlessness.


----------



## Flora20

Really mad, sad and alone..


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Yeah, the good memories lead to feelings of loss and despair. Some also help trigger feelings of powerlessness.


:sigh :hug


----------



## Lyyli

Better


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Flora20 said:


> Really mad, sad and alone..


:hug


----------



## Protozoan

Indifferent. Feels like that's the only thing I feel lately, just apathy. My girlfriend makes me happy when I'm around her or talking to her but otherwise, I don't know.

I should be practicing or studying but my motivation has just slipped through my fingers and I struggle to feign interest in what should be a priority.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Feeling alone and hopeless.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pretty crappy, woke up with a headache.


----------



## ElectricBanjo

not bad


----------



## versikk

Getting tired of these motherfuxkig mood swings in this motherfuxkig brain. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## chrissyq3838

Lyyli said:


> Better


praise the lord!


----------



## Lyyli

chrissyq3838 said:


> praise the lord!


:smile2:


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Still embarrassed about yesterday when I was clocking out of work. My boss asked me what I was doing so I told him I was clocking out. A couple of the supervisors were over there and one of them told my boss I'm wearing mascara. Then, my boss said something and she said mmhmm all sassy like. And my boss said I'll get some guys asking me out. Then, he winked at one of my supervisors, so I just laughed. Then, he looked like he was busy so I left to get my groceries. It was hella awkward. I think I blushed. I'm sure he noticed cause apparently, it's noticeable when I get embarrassed. Not sure if he was joking around or being serious...


----------



## SofaKing

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Still embarrassed about yesterday when I was clocking out of work. My boss asked me what I was doing so I told him I was clocking out. A couple of the supervisors were over there and one of them told my boss I'm wearing mascara. Then, my boss said something and she said mmhmm all sassy like. And my boss said I'll get some guys asking me out. Then, he winked at one of my supervisors, so I just laughed. Then, he looked like he was busy so I left to get my groceries. It was hella awkward. I think I blushed. I'm sure he noticed cause apparently, it's noticeable when I get embarrassed. Not sure if he was joking around or being serious...


Clearly your employer doesn't conduct harassment training. Textbook no-nos.


----------



## 3stacks

Tired, lonely, depressed, hopeless and just kinda wanna die


----------



## twistix

3stacks said:


> Tired, lonely, depressed, hopeless and just kinda wanna die


I'm feeling a bit similar. 
Here, have a chocolate


----------



## NoLife93

drained of life


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

SofaKing said:


> Clearly your employer doesn't conduct harassment training. Textbook no-nos.


I mean, I don't think it was sexual harassment at all and I didn't take it that way. Who knows, though? The women that work there didn't seem to care. I dunno. :stu Maybe I shouldn't wear it but I want to because I like it, so I'm not going to stop wearing it because of that. He does joke around sometimes, so it could've just been a joke in bad taste maybe.


----------



## 0589471

Foolish


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Easily taken advantage of, foolish. My official title should be the human bandaid. I'm good at taking care of you until you feel better and are able to get up and go on your way, but I'm left here, empty...bleeding.


:hug


----------



## 3stacks

twistix said:


> I'm feeling a bit similar.
> Here, have a chocolate


Chocolate! You clearly know how to cheer me up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Very lonely.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> Very lonely.


Aw man! Cheer up buddy.  :rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Aw man! Cheer up buddy.  :rub


Thank you for your kind words mate.


----------



## Crisigv

miserable and lonely


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> miserable and lonely


Awwww. :hug


----------



## 3stacks

ANX1 said:


> Very lonely.


Hope you're feeling better soon!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Hope you're feeling better soon!


Thank you mate for your kind words.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Upset that others here feel lonely.


----------



## birddookie

@ANX1 
It's because you give away all of your love. It's time to return some.:hug Hope ya feel better!:smile2:
@Crisigv
Please stay strong, Have a good night sleep, and hope you feel better.:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

birddookie said:


> @*ANX1*
> It's because you give away all of your love. It's time to return some.:hug Hope ya feel better!:smile2:
> 
> @*Crisigv*
> Please stay strong, Have a good night sleep, and hope you feel better.:hug


Thank you for your kind words mate. 

It's probably the same for many a lovely person here. A :hug for everyone here (including admin, mods, etc).


----------



## SofaKing

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I mean, I don't think it was sexual harassment at all and I didn't take it that way. Who knows, though? The women that work there didn't seem to care. I dunno. :stu Maybe I shouldn't wear it but I want to because I like it, so I'm not going to stop wearing it because of that. He does joke around sometimes, so it could've just been a joke in bad taste maybe.


No, not overtly, but this kind of teasing can be taken too far when it starts to both make it apparent that you're being observed for physical characteristics as well as the insinuation that you were wearing mascara to land a date. (and by extension, speculation on your sex life) Some people just have poor boundaries in the workplace.

I'm glad you weren't offended, though I'm sorry you were uncomfortable and put in that situation.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Numb and empty.



Crisigv said:


> miserable and lonely


Here is a hug for you:

:hug :squeeze

Hope this makes you feel better.


----------



## 3stacks

I just want to die, theres nothing in the future for me


----------



## Alpha Tauri

Miserable and useless


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

SofaKing said:


> No, not overtly, but this kind of teasing can be taken too far when it starts to both make it apparent that you're being observed for physical characteristics as well as the insinuation that you were wearing mascara to land a date. (and by extension, speculation on your sex life) Some people just have poor boundaries in the workplace.
> 
> I'm glad you weren't offended, though I'm sorry you were uncomfortable and put in that situation.


Yea, they might have been teasing me. At first, I didn't know what to think but then it didn't seem right to me like I knew it wasn't right. I don't know. Maybe they were doing it because I'm an awkward person, so they knew they could get away with teasing me. But it just doesn't seem like they'd do that. But honestly, it was uncomfortable being put on the spot like that.


----------



## versikk

3stacks said:


> I just want to die, theres nothing in the future for me


The future doesn't exist. 
There is always, only: here, now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## farfegnugen

Can't seem to sleep much anymore. I feel like I'm in a daze in a low energy state


----------



## cinto

farfegnugen said:


> Can't seem to sleep much anymore. I feel like I'm in a daze in a low energy state


Same here. I don't know how much more chamomile tea I'll be able to take :0


----------



## Sliusarek

versikk said:


> I feel exactly the same. I am drowning in loneliness, barely keeping my head over the water level.
> 
> I just wanna say tho, romance in movies is not realistic. That being said, romance does indeed exist irl..... Altho being mammals (sexual organisms) I wonder how much of our search for 'love' really is just a search for a source of regular, satisfying sex. Nahmean?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Non-monogamy, cheating, open relationships, changing boyfriends / girlfriends every day and hookups are realistic. Let's make movies praising these amazing situations! 
Documentaries are supposed to be realistic, my friend. Movies and anything that is entertainment is supposed to bring out the best of people. You won't get the best if you are stuck in the realities of animalistic behavior and low-quality feelings.

Hope this clears out the "realism" part...
As of search for regular sex, you do realize that marriage as a system exist to keep people from enjoying their animalism and actually behaving like proper human beings? Not sexual organisms you are associating yourself with? You do realize that there are people that have a faithful relationship even if their partners can't have sex anymore? Or old couples that are too old for it? And how those old couples still have love?

I really pity you. Living a life where love is a source of regular sex is beyond saving.


----------



## coeur_brise

I dunno. I've got a massive headache, my feet stink from walking all day. My eye hurts (work strain). I drank some Guinness so I feel slightly better. If only I had an Irish lilt then maybe I'd feel A-ok? Goddamnit coeur, get yourself together!


----------



## Blue Dino

tea111red said:


> Yeah, that mode is rough.  really requires strength to be motivated to do stuff when in a less than optimal state. Hopefully you can keep pushing on through the tough times and can find a way to make your days better.
> 
> I think it'll feel good when what you're dealing with has passed and that you'll feel better for gaining more strength.


Yeah I really need to adopt some new hobbies to motivate me to keep going and have something to look forward to at the end of the day.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Trapped.


----------



## tea111red

Blue Dino said:


> Yeah I really need to adopt some new hobbies to motivate me to keep going and have something to look forward to at the end of the day.


Yeah, I've been feeling like I need to do more things/hobbies to help change my life lately so I have done just that....by force. I just feel like I have no other choice and that if I don't engage in these new "hobbies"/habits, I'll just keep ending up at dead ends. I've just really got to change.

It's hard being patient waiting for these new habits to feel more natural, though. Trying to force myself to believe this will be accomplished eventually.

:stu lol

Anyway, hope you have success.


----------



## chrissyq3838

3stacks said:


> Tired, lonely, depressed, hopeless and just kinda wanna die


me too


----------



## funnynihilist

Bleh


----------



## 3stacks

chrissyq3838 said:


> me too


Aw I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you start to feel better soon.


----------



## chrissyq3838

I feel like i have brain cancer


----------



## chrissyq3838

3stacks said:


> chrissyq3838 said:
> 
> 
> 
> me too
> 
> 
> 
> Aw I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you start to feel better soon.
Click to expand...

thank you you too


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I feel like I stepped into the bear trap that life laid out for me and I'm just waiting to bleed to death. I guess I should sever my limb and run with my life.


----------



## Wanderlust26

I've been feeling crappy all day and I don't know why. Must be something in the air.


----------



## Crisigv

sad, i guess i'm in the past now?


----------



## funnynihilist

I have a large, painful pimple on my left breast


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Kind of cranky and irritable. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.


----------



## KySupreme

I feel like I'm on the right track to success. Slowly but surely getting better each day and I'd like to inspire others to do the same.


----------



## versikk

My loneliness and horniness is absolutely driving me insane. I cannot eloquently describe how this makes me feel. I have made a bet with Satan that I will keep this effin job and not mess up because of my damaged psyche, but I don't know who long I can go on. Every day I wake up irritated because of horniness. Every day I am assaulted with sexual stimuli from all directions; aural and visual.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Was lonely, but the lovely people on here, lovely women I bumped into yesterday in real life, checking that I'm ok, just being friendly made me feel better. 

I would like to thank you for taking some of your precious time to do so.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> sad, i guess i'm in the past now?


Awww. :hug


----------



## Kevin001

So blessed


----------



## tea111red

Edit: Oh, whoops...posted in the wrong thread again, lol. I thought this was "type what you're thinking blah blah."

I guess I'm feeling: 





now.


----------



## Euripides




----------



## Crisigv

awful, in so many ways


----------



## 0589471

peaceful


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cantankerous.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty stoked, I finished "Ferdilious the fabulous" portion of my game today, he is a tragic case of technology meeting the arcane arts.. poor fellow. To release his frustration, he likes to bounce bricks on the top of your head and spit fire balls at ya. You can see one of the bricks on the lower right, he tossed at me earlier.










I also put together a bunch of music I created in the past couple of weeks to play in the background. Ferdilious needs a face lift, but while in motion he doesn't look as bad, ah well, I'm just happy I got most of it done today. One boss done, ten levels, another four bosses to create, another forty levels. I need to revamp the menu, do a bit of a overhaul to the layout, make more music, everything from here on in is going to be a lot easier though. I've learned a lot on this project, I still suck at programming and a novice at java but I'm getting there. I like having a hobby that is simple enough, where I can put my imagination to use to create something, it is pretty cool. It might ultimately be pointless, but it certainly is entertaining.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Glad that's over....


----------



## GeomTech

zonebox said:


> Pretty stoked, I finished "Ferdilious the fabulous" portion of my game today, he is a tragic case of technology meeting the arcane arts.. poor fellow. To release his frustration, he likes to bounce bricks on the top of your head and spit fire balls at ya. You can see one of the bricks on the lower right, he tossed at me earlier.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I also put together a bunch of music I created in the past couple of weeks to play in the background. Ferdilious needs a face lift, but while in motion he doesn't look as bad, ah well, I'm just happy I got most of it done today. One boss done, ten levels, another four bosses to create, another forty levels. I need to revamp the menu, do a bit of a overhaul to the layout, make more music, everything from here on in is going to be a lot easier though. I've learned a lot on this project, I still suck at programming and a novice at java but I'm getting there. I like having a hobby that is simple enough, where I can put my imagination to use to create something, it is pretty cool. It might ultimately be pointless, but it certainly is entertaining.


Very, very Impressive I must say! It's more than I've ever done. That feeling you get when you've churned an awesome chunk of code is just sublime... Ah, yes.....

Makes me want to create an original game now; at least a complete one. Created a hangman game, a word scramble game, and maybe a few others, but they weren't that good.


----------



## MCHB

Must...stay awake for another 4 hours!


----------



## zonebox

GeomTech said:


> Very, very Impressive I must say! It's more than I've ever done. That feeling you get when you've churned an awesome chunk of code is just sublime... Ah, yes.....
> 
> Makes me want to create an original game now; at least a complete one. Created a hangman game, a word scramble game, and maybe a few others, but they weren't that good.


Thanks, it is the furthest I have ever gone with programming, before it was just simple code that I mostly copied from tutorials. I'm not used to OOP, and it shows in my code, it is ugly, quite the huge mess actually.. somehow it runs smoothly on my computer but there are hiccups occasionally when the sound effects play. I think the likely culprit is that they are being loaded off the HDD, and I need to put them in memory. I'm going to have to rewrite all of the sound code, but for now I'm more focused on the gameplay and gui.

I've always liked the older video games, the newer ones are great too, but there is just something about games from the 80s-90s that do something for me, they are simple, do not take as much time, and easier to walk away from. If I load 7dtd I'm a goner for the next three hours :lol Forget about old school WoW or EQ, I can waste a dozen hours on a good MMO if it is decent for solo play. They are just too involving now and too easy to get absorbed in. Plus there is an entire culture around them now, multiplayer games have never really interested me beyond perhaps a small group of friends playing together.. I do love the huge worlds that you can explore though. Seeing I don't really know anyone regardless to play those games with, I like having something I can play for a bit, then get on to other hobbies or reading stuff on the Internet 

I would really love to learn some assembly for my Amiga and make a game, or even something for the Commodore 64, the only problem is I don't have the time to commit learning all about the machines, especially since few people use them anymore. Although, there is a pretty decent scene of people still making video games for these old computers, even games for older consoles which I find really amazing. They still are making upgrades for them, even new CPUs based on FPGAs which means some of them will see Java, one day.. perhaps

Java is pretty cool though, I don't have to make any changes to transport it to my linux laptop, my wife's mac, and hopefully they will expand java a little more on the Amiga so one day I can play it on that old computer of mine.


----------



## versikk

... Getting back to my normal state of _Sublime Trashbrain_ after a weekend of _Everything Is Wrong, Full Speed Ahead Fxck You Very Much Nightmare Mode_.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Stressed, as have a lot to do. Time to do it right now.

Wish you all a lovely day.


----------



## funnynihilist

Blooted


----------



## funnynihilist

Why I eat all those onions????


----------



## unsocial lego

split between wanting to get away from everything in the world and being apathetic.


----------



## MondKrabbe

Sad. Been thinking about a girl. Seeing her really brightens my day but I know in my heart I could never have a relationship with her. Not a good one. She's a light in this world and I could never let my depression and anxiety dim that light. But at least she knows that I care about her and I'm supportive of her. I wish I could spend some time with her to hang out as friends. God I hate having these feelings.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Sad, because I still can't get this specific girl at Church to talk to me.  I've been trying for almost a year, now.


----------



## Crisigv

No better, just worthless.


----------



## komorikun

Not happy with my life at all. Just seems like I'm preparing for death. I can see where I'm headed. Being alone all the time just doesn't cut it. Just having acquaintances doesn't cut it. 

It is nice to have the windows open for once though. Cold weather is really depressing.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

komorikun said:


> Not happy with my life at all. Just seems like I'm preparing for death. I can see where I'm headed. Being alone all the time just doesn't cut it. Just having acquaintances doesn't cut it.
> 
> It is nice to have the windows open for once though. Cold weather is really depressing.


 What does it take to make you purr?


----------



## chrissyq3838

Mabel Pines said:


> Sad, because I still can't get this specific girl at Church to talk to me.  I've been trying for almost a year, now.


same i cant get this ridiculously good looking guy to talk to me at church ive been trying for 3 yrs i cant even get him to acknowledge me makes me feel like crap


----------



## Mabel Pines

chrissyq3838 said:


> same i cant get this ridiculously good looking guy to talk to me at church ive been trying for 3 yrs i cant even get him to acknowledge me makes me feel like crap


I can relate, obviously, lol.


----------



## MinnieStrays

Tbh i feel alone in the world. Whenever i get close to people, I feel let down because they dont treat me how i treat them or they dont care to be friends with me for the long term. I feel like its my fault im like this. I hate myself for losing friends because of my perspective and because i trust too easily only to be let down.


----------



## 3stacks

@Mabel Pines @chrissyq3838. Rise above the temptations. Focus on the lord and saviour Jesus christ. Nah I'm joking, good luck with talking to them


----------



## MinnieStrays

Tbh i feel depressed. My depression is from my hopes getting crushed by getting the same respect and attention from people I once called my close friends. I dont sleep well at night because of my depression from social anxiety.


----------



## farfegnugen

^ try reading if you don't already

I'm a bit *****y but probably in a good way. Need to get some stuff done.


----------



## chrissyq3838

Mabel Pines said:


> chrissyq3838 said:
> 
> 
> 
> same i cant get this ridiculously good looking guy to talk to me at church ive been trying for 3 yrs i cant even get him to acknowledge me makes me feel like crap
> 
> 
> 
> I can relate, obviously, lol.
Click to expand...

he said hi to me twice in 3 years which is pathetic


----------



## chrissyq3838

3stacks said:


> @Mabel Pines @chrissyq3838. Rise above the temptations. Focus on the lord and saviour Jesus christ. Nah I'm joking, good luck with talking to them


thanks its not about temptation i just want him to treat me like an equal and like a fellow church family member


----------



## Blue Dino

The feeling when you know this member will eventually get banned if they keep posting the way they have been posting. And worse of all, I could tell each gradual post they make have been increasingly eyebrow raising.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I haven't posted on here for a while because of depression.

It's never ending now and I don't know what to do. I've got far too many problems and I'm ashamed of myself.

I can't stop the depression or avoiding things I shouldn't be avoiding.


----------



## discopotato

Angry. Angry at people around me and angry at myself that I can't confront people that behave like *******s.


----------



## Mabel Pines

3stacks said:


> @*Mabel Pines* @*chrissyq3838* . Rise above the temptations. Focus on the lord and saviour Jesus christ. Nah I'm joking, good luck with talking to them


Thanks.


----------



## Mabel Pines

chrissyq3838 said:


> thanks its not about temptation i just want him to treat me like an equal and like a fellow church family member


That's exactly how I want her to treat me. I don't get why she refuses to do that.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Indifferent.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Deja Vu.


----------



## tea111red

Look like crap.


----------



## funnynihilist

This world bores me. I'm telling ya, enjoy your youth cause you get to a certain age and if you have any brain cells at all the repetition wears you down. 
There is nothing new under the sun.


----------



## unsocial lego

Stressed and depressed but mostly stressed.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Look like crap.


:hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Getting tired, need a snack before bed.

... and also feeling a bit apprehensive about the future for some reason (both about my life in general and female companionship.)


----------



## Crisigv

Pete Beale said:


> I haven't posted on here for a while because of depression.
> 
> It's never ending now and I don't know what to do. I've got far too many problems and I'm ashamed of myself.
> 
> I can't stop the depression or avoiding things I shouldn't be avoiding.


:squeeze I know that doesn't do much to help. But I know what you're going through. I hope you find a way to pull through and SAS is here for you.


----------



## Flora20

Under the weather with a cold


----------



## Jeff271

I'm sorry, feel better.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Unwanted.

Undesirable.

Despondent.

Utterly miserable.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> :squeeze I know that doesn't do much to help. But I know what you're going through. I hope you find a way to pull through and SAS is here for you.


Thanks Crisi

I have a meet tomorrow and 2 back to back ones on saturday, but I'm just not enjoying, anything. I'm forcing myself to do these meets and feel lonely as **** once they're over, because it's all superficial stuff and I'm desperate for a deep connection with someone. Just don't think I'll ever find it. Thought I did, but didn't. :/


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Unwanted.
> 
> Undesirable.
> 
> Despondent.
> 
> Utterly miserable.


Same. :frown2:

Has it ended with her btw, or are you still communicating at all?


----------



## Mabel Pines

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Unwanted.
> 
> Undesirable.
> 
> Despondent.
> 
> Utterly miserable.


I hope you feel better, soon.


----------



## SFC01

tired as I had a late one last night, and was late for work as I thought it was Sunday - been doing that quite a bit recently.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> iAmCodeMonkey said:
> 
> 
> 
> Unwanted.
> 
> Undesirable.
> 
> Despondent.
> 
> Utterly miserable.
> 
> 
> 
> Same. /forum/images/SAS_2015/smilies/tango_face_sad.png
> 
> Has it ended with her btw, or are you still communicating at all?
Click to expand...

Communication is very inconsistent now. It was better in the beginning.

She and her parents are moving further away soon as well so she is probably having to deal with all that too.

If we get the chance to have an actual one-on-one conversation again I am probably going to ask her if we can keep our options open.

I have to protect myself somehow. Wish me luck or something lol.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mabel Pines said:


> iAmCodeMonkey said:
> 
> 
> 
> Unwanted.
> 
> Undesirable.
> 
> Despondent.
> 
> Utterly miserable.
> 
> 
> 
> I hope you feel better, soon.
Click to expand...

Thanks beautiful!


----------



## keysley

I thought I would share this blog post on how thinking positively can make you feel better.

https://www.ckinsights.com/blog/how-social-anxiety-can-be-relieved-with-positivity

I hope everyone can have a great day after reading!!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed. Lonely. Bored.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed. Lonely. Bored.


 :hug

I hope you feel better soon.


----------



## Mabel Pines

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed. Lonely. Bored.


I hope you feel better soon.


----------



## Painted Moo

I'm exhausted and a bit overwhelmed. I'm juggling a lot of projects at once right now and currently in the process of switching jobs. :sigh


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@iAmCodeMonkey @Mabel Pines

Thanks.


----------



## SFC01

a little bit of this and a little bit of that


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad nice day outside.....clothes are washed and folded......and don't have to go to work early so meh I'm good lol.


----------



## versikk

I have a semi smile on my face, wondering if it's the sun or something else.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 0589471

melancholic


----------



## Crisigv

Like crap


----------



## 3stacks

Just the usual, ugly, tired, spaced out, lonely, sad and I just hate myself


----------



## Wanderlust26

Regretting that drink. Too much syrup for me.

Also, lonely as usual....


----------



## Lohikaarme




----------



## Scrub-Zero

I feel like the last human on earth. Everything is so quiet and i'm lonely, and no one is around.


----------



## GeomTech

Dull, gray, blah. Accepting that I'm probably never going to get out this rut or whatever; as too many interactions or people / situations overwhelm me very much, and I get super tired.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Depressed


----------



## Crisigv

a bit chilly


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

3stacks said:


> Just the usual, ugly, tired, spaced out, lonely, sad and I just hate myself


 :rub


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A little empty tonight.



Crisigv said:


> a bit chilly


I hope you find something that warms you up. :hug :squeeze



Wanderlust26 said:


> Depressed


I hope you feel better soon.  :hug :squeeze



C137 said:


> Sad, my friend and his wife had to put their 19 year old cat down. That got me thinking of my own lonely sad life. That cat had 2 loving people at the end of its life. After my parents die, I'm gonna have no one at my end. And that got me thinking about my grandma's death. While she died in our house. She was lying there mostly alone. I didn't find out tell after it had already happened. Sigh.


I am so sorry.  :rub


----------



## Mabel Pines

Crisigv said:


> a bit chilly


Put on a sweater?


----------



## Wanderlust26

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I hope you feel better soon.  :hug :squeeze


Thanks.


----------



## Crisigv

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I hope you find something that warms you up. :hug :squeeze





Mabel Pines said:


> Put on a sweater?


I warmed up, thanks.


----------



## versikk

Work is deading me and I are kill

So tiredness of sleep.

Typing wrong grammar for phun.

Work week is passing quickly; not enough days in a week... LORD 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MondKrabbe

Truly curious, if I died tomorrow, who in my life would care? Who would react in what way? Not suicidal, I just wonder what impact I've made on all the people in my life. Is my family my only source of my memory? Not that that's a bad thing but....almost 21 years and no one else to shed a tear?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Insignificant.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely, stressed.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

Rested, i'm also feeling somewhat down, just a general negative emotional presence that i can't really peg down. :get


----------



## Sus y




----------



## Alpha Tauri

:V


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sus y said:


>


:hug


----------



## Sus y

ANX1 said:


> :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sus y said:


>




Something to distract you from the cold you have -


----------



## Sus y

ANX1 said:


> Something to distract you from the cold you have -


:clap thanks!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sus y said:


> :clap thanks!


You're welcome. 

For the brave little Lion, rawr.  :grin2:


----------



## Mabel Pines

SamanthaStrange said:


> Insignificant.


No, you are not. You are an awesome person in real life and a great poster on this forum.


----------



## Sus y

ANX1 said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> For the brave little Lion, rawr.  :grin2:


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mabel Pines said:


> No, you are not. You are an awesome person in real life and a great poster on this forum.


Thank you!


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Sus y said:


>


Awww you're having a cold too?
I guess it's ok to hug since we both have it :hug


----------



## Sus y

geraltofrivia said:


> Awww you're having a cold too?
> I guess it's ok to hug since we both have it :hug


Yeah to both lol. Nephew attacked me as if he's a flu (or something) weapon :O and now he's doing all great, playing around as if nothing has affected him, well I'm glad for him at least :b.

Hope you get better soon too, I know the feeling :hug.


----------



## Sus y

SamanthaStrange said:


> Insignificant.


Here, I have a cake for you, well I mean one piece is for you, the other for anyone who claims it and the rest of the cake is for me :evil











ANX1 said:


> Lonely, stressed.


:hug We are all here around you :b


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Thanks @Sus y

I hope you feel better soon.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sus y said:


>


Awesome. :lol



Sus y said:


> Here, I have a cake for you, well I mean one piece is for you, the other for anyone who claims it and the rest of the cake is for me :evil
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :hug We are all here around you :b


Thank you little lion.


----------



## MondKrabbe

Lonely as usual. People always try to be my friend and bring me out of my shell and once I emerge......they just kind of ignore me. How am I supposed to make plans to hang out with you if you don't even respond to my messages? At least I have my FPP.


----------



## Ominous Indeed




----------



## Sus y

ANX1 said:


> Thank you little lion.


You are welcome! We all know the other piece of cake was for you .


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sus y said:


> You are welcome! We all know the other piece of cake was for you .


Oh, was it. :blush.


----------



## 0589471

courtesy removal.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Like I want to just stay in a dark place forever.


----------



## Mabel Pines

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Like I want to just stay in a dark place forever.


Why, if I may ask? And why dark?


----------



## 0589471

:squeeze I'm sorry. Hang in there friend. If you ever need to talk, message me anytime.


----------



## 3stacks

3stacks said:


> Just the usual, ugly, tired, spaced out, lonely, sad and I just hate myself


This everyday but add some sucidal thoughts to the mix


----------



## Wanderlust26

Tired.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mabel Pines said:


> Why, if I may ask? And why dark?


It's just my awkwardness and having to do like eight different things when I get home everyday. I don't mind being productive but sometimes, it just tires me. If I have to wash dishes, do the laundry, and sweep I don't mind doing it at all. I'll be more than glad to but some days I have to do everything. And the awkwardness thing, well I'm trying to work on it. But sometimes, I just overthink. Ive just been down the past few days. Trying to get past it and just appreciate what I have.


----------



## harrison

Better now. So tired after yesterday - My God what a day.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I just gave birth to a chicken fart. I'll be great once the smell clears out.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

better


----------



## Alpha Tauri

geraltofrivia said:


> better


Good to hear!


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Alpha Tauri said:


> Good to hear!


thanks


----------



## Jagick

Hopeless and exhausted. Maybe two hours of sleep a day for the last month. Can't stop stressing, the anxiety and depression is constant and the stressors will not be going away for a few months at least, if they go away at all. I just want it to stop.


----------



## CNikki

Completely unmotivated.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Jagick said:


> Hopeless and exhausted. Maybe two hours of sleep a day for the last month. Can't stop stressing, the anxiety and depression is constant and the stressors will not be going away for a few months at least, if they go away at all. I just want it to stop.


I hope it gets better for you, soon.


----------



## Kevin001

Meh throat still dry.


----------



## funnynihilist

Crusty


----------



## versikk

Umm generally fine and also hate my life but I try to focus on the fun stuff and can engage in like playing with my tech <3
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Omni-slash

You know what, I want to dress up like a pretty little princess and frolic through some green, flowery fields.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I'm eating Hawaiian pizza and getting ready to go on a long bike ride. Life ain't bad.


----------



## Mabel Pines

funnynihilist said:


> Crusty


Just scoop those suckers out of your eyes and ears.


----------



## Grace21

Yippee! FRIDAY NIGHT!!!!!


----------



## MCHB

Sick...but I have coffee, dayquil and throat numbing candy so :3


----------



## komorikun

Thank god I finished work early today and I'm taking Monday off too. Have to do my laundry and my taxes this weekend.


----------



## Crisigv

Done, with everything and everyone.


----------



## 0589471

lonely


----------



## zonebox

My allergies are making my nose run, and throat feel dry and itchy. Otherwise I am feeling okay, I'm thinking of having something to drink tonight but am feeling a bit too lazy to mix myself one. The rum would do wonders for my nose and throat though. Drinking used to be the highlight of my week, but now it is just getting boring and often I don't even get past three shots anymore. It is funny, three years ago I could drink 12 beers in a night, now I get bored after three. 

Tomorrow my parents are coming down and we are going for a picnic, probably the usual spot, by a river near where I live. I sort of am looking forward to it, but would rather us do something else. Perhaps during summer break we will all go Kayaking What I really want to do, is go camping for a few days. I miss camping, it is nice to get away from the house for a few days and "rough" it. I miss hanging out by the campfire, telling scary stories and making smores. Perhaps this summer, we'll see, I need to get a little trailer hook-up for my car so I can lug around all of our camping gear. I really want to get my sailboat out on the water, I'm feeling that sailing itch again, I think over this summer I might start to clean up my boat and start fixing it up. 

I continue to work on my game, I'm learning a lot which is cool, I really want to get this one finished so I can move on to the next which I think will probably be a Zelda clone. A few of my wfie's students played an older version of it, and she says they loved it.. so much so that even one of her coworkers hogged it for a while :lol That makes me feel pretty good, I don't think I will ever make a fortune, but at the very least knowing people are having fun with it is pretty cool. Each day, seems to get a little bit easier, as new concepts take hold, Java is really easy to make a game with. I remember trying to do it in C with SDL, and never got as far. It is even easier than I remember it being in Qbasic. 

My wife has had so many doctor appointments it is crazy, it seems to be one thing after another, but so far all of the huge scares we have had, have been nothing as bad as we were lead to believe. Brain scans, boob scans, stomach scans, colonoscopy, the next appointment is to a gynecologist, because they noticed a cyst on one of her ovaries. Her doctor wants it to be removed, who knows where this will take us. We will see, but I have spent so much time worrying about her, that it just has become a new normal. That is our life now, one medical concern after another, thankfully that is all they have been, scary scenarios. 

But yeah, things are not too bad on my side of the screen. It could be a lot worst, I have things I'm looking forward to, I'm sitting on my comfortable couch with the fan blowing cool air on me, my dorkus of a dog is hanging out with me, I'm not in pain or feeling depressed and I'll probably get off my fat butt here shortly, and mix myself a drink and listen to some music. I hope most of you are doing well, and if not, things move in a better direction for you.


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh, as always


----------



## unsocial lego

Better, my excruciating back pain has turned to moderate back pain. At least it's taking my mind off of my sad life.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired from waking up at 2:00pm today.

I suck.


----------



## chrissyq3838

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> lonely


how can such a beautiful girl be lonely??


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

scintilla said:


> Lonely as ****.





A Toxic Butterfly said:


> lonely


Right there with you guys.

But i have coffee so..


----------



## komorikun

&#128577;☠. .......,,,,,,
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 3stacks

Super anxious and pathetic


----------



## funnynihilist

Blah


----------



## funnynihilist

Araminta said:


> Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!


That could go either way hehe


----------



## 0589471

chrissyq3838 said:


> how can such a beautiful girl be lonely??


It's a superficial thing, not something that can keep the person I love near me. This situation has become so complicated, he doesn't even realize that he was perfect to me. He doesn't have to be "good enough", he already was. For a million reasons he can't be with me, and it's just...blah. I'm not mad at him either, because it's this difficult situation beyond anybody's control, I just wish I could do SOMETHING. I know I'm annoying everyone in this forum by now for droning on and on about it, but...I just feel like he was THE only one. Nobody else makes sense, and I don't want anybody else. I feel like I am drowning in my affections for somebody who's cast me aside. It's miserable. I've also had a few glasses of wine so excuse me :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> It's a superficial thing, not something that can keep the person I love near me. This situation has become so complicated, he doesn't even realize that he was perfect to me. He doesn't have to be "good enough", he already was. For a million reasons he can't be with me, and it's just...blah. I'm not mad at him either, because it's this difficult situation beyond anybody's control, I just wish I could do SOMETHING. I know I'm annoying everyone in this forum by now for droning on and on about it, but...I just feel like he was THE only one. Nobody else makes sense, and I don't want anybody else. I feel like I am drowning in my affections for somebody who's cast me aside. It's miserable. I've also had a few glasses of wine so excuse me :lol


I am sorry. 

Hang in there. :hug

Don't worry, I am kinda tipsy from my beer right now too. :lol


----------



## Jeff271

sleepy too


----------



## Kevin001

Throat issues still


----------



## birddookie

Crisigv said:


> Done, with everything and everyone.


Hope you can overcome your situation. &#128578;



unsocial lego said:


> Better, my excruciating back pain has turned to moderate back pain. At least it's taking my mind off of my sad life.


Good to hear, hope the back pain goes away and you can have a better life.


C137 said:


> Even chittier than I did yesterday.


Sorry, hope your day brightens up tomorrow.



3stacks said:


> Super anxious and pathetic


&#128542; Wish you a better day tomorrow.



ANX1 said:


> Tired.


You've put in a hard day of support, hope you have a good rest.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

birddookie said:


> Hope you can overcome your situation. &#128578;
> 
> Good to hear, hope the back pain goes away and you can have a better life.
> 
> Sorry, hope your day brightens up tomorrow.
> 
> &#128542; Wish you a better day tomorrow.
> 
> You've put in a hard day of support, hope you have a good rest.


Thank you for your kind words. 

Just had less sleep.


----------



## funnynihilist

Bought a bottle of Jefferson's earlier that I'm enjoying very much and it's kicking in nicely


----------



## CNikki

Seeing someone trying to give up an addiction only for them to relapse. Most defeating thing in the world. I'm taking the defeat more than they are and that says something.


----------



## funnynihilist

Good buzz going now lol


----------



## tea111red

I wish I had a bf.


----------



## Wanderlust26

funnynihilist said:


> Good buzz going now lol


Jealous....


----------



## funnynihilist

Wanderlust26 said:


> Jealous....


Ya mon!


----------



## sad1231234

Feeling good, little irratated from life as usual but aside from that everythings alright. Hope everyoepne else is doing good


----------



## SplendidBob

****ty.

I suppose that topic does reveal the wheat from the chaff though. Oh well.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Helpless. Anxious.


----------



## twistix

SamanthaStrange said:


> Helpless. Anxious.


:squeeze 
You're strong and you're not alone. Deep breaths 
I'm going to the bakery, I'll pick up a cupcake for you.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

twistix said:


> :squeeze
> You're strong and you're not alone. Deep breaths
> I'm going to the bakery, I'll pick up a cupcake for you.


Thank you. :squeeze


----------



## Deaf Mute

Like destroying the universe... I don't want to wake up ever again. God I hate myself so much.


----------



## funnynihilist

Not totally sure yet


----------



## DeathBill

Feeling good..


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Numb and empty...

and I am not talking about my stomach being empty.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

C137 said:


> Even worse the last few days. *The person I've been chatting with is again saying things that sound so wish washy I can't understand her motivations.* I'm feeling even more hurt. This sucks.


Red flag.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

Well i feel tired due to insomnia robbing me of a few hours last night, but besides that, pretty great. I'm about to replay Baldur's gate for the gazillionth time while i sip on this hot coffee. :cup


----------



## The Linux Guy

Simple, Lonely, Tired, Confused, Bored.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Deaf Mute said:


> Like destroying the universe... I don't want to wake up ever again. God I hate myself so much.


You could stay alive because wouldn't it be comical if the universe that you live in is shaped like a donut? Mmmm, donuts.


----------



## CNikki

Very tired. Had a long day.


----------



## Mabel Pines

CNikki said:


> Very tired. Had a long day.


What did you do all day, if I may ask?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Kind of sad on the inside, keeping it together on the outside...

Le sigh.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Numb and empty...
> 
> and I am not talking about my stomach being empty.


Try some sleep to see if you feel better afterwards.



I_Exist said:


> Simple, Lonely, Tired, Confused, Bored.


Sorry to hear. 

Try some sleep to see if you feel better afterwards.



CNikki said:


> Very tired. Had a long day.


Awww. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Thanks.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Thanks.


You're welcome mate.


----------



## twistix

unsettled


----------



## funnynihilist

Not'a so gooda


----------



## Jeff271

this planet's moon puzzles me, sleepy, 'night


----------



## 0589471

tired but can't sleep as usual


----------



## Kevin001

Sick plus been spending so much money on health care stuff lately living paycheck to paycheck......I'm still so blessed so I won't worry. Money is just money...comes and goes.


----------



## Chris S W

Thank god for co-codamol.


----------



## Incxgnito

Do I have to pick just one emotion? I'm an emotional train wreck, due to recent events.


----------



## Chris S W

Feel a bit sick now. Probably the co-codamol. Gosh darn it.


----------



## Chris S W

Pain.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Nothing.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Sore from all the drunken dancing I did at the bar last night. :drunk:lol


----------



## versikk

Hmm

I took 3 Valium this morning and I can feel the hatred stirring up inside me even so . I need to keep my cool this work week.... So much drama still happening. So much isolation and loneliness still felt.

Why can't I just out of my shell? Like that one time an acquainted
Girl called me over for a one night stand. Nothing happened because I froze up like a fish stick. But at least I went there. Now, I have no one irl to talk to. And no prospect in my love life. At least I went to an avantgarde theater this weekend, but of course there was zero opportunity to talk to anyone there before or after the show because everyone else were with their friends or partners.

I need to start going to groups and online dates, but my anxiety level about that is thru the fxxking roof. I don't know how the fxxk I'm supposed to deal with all that.

Tl:dr I'm disgustingly lonely and everyday I wake up and think about ending my life or just starving myself to death or something. Unreal.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SFC01

Agile


----------



## catcharay

Excited at the possibility of moving to a city with a little bustle and opportunities. Moving remote and getting next door neighbors who are really annoying was not lucky. Yesterday I had to knock on their door and was greeted w the sight of a semi naked man before he changed into clothes and opened the door. Looking back at it, it's sort of harassment but I didn't really think much of it because my threshold for their behaviour has increased because they do really stupid things.

Sent from my TA-1024 using Tapatalk


----------



## foggydream

I feel like I should be doing something but it is too hard


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Melancholic.


----------



## Kevin001

Still sick mainly my nose....need to thin out this mucus asap.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored. Lonely. Stir crazy.


----------



## Biaurealscent

Stressed due to the finals and kinda upset ( I shouldn't call it angry because I accept it with resignation) with a friend. This person just ignores me out of the blue for days but suddenly, when I ignore him, he wants to hang out again... I don't know, he makes me feel uncomfortable. He's just weird.


----------



## Chevy396

Feeling super chill. Finally got some Valium.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I suspect I have a bit of an ear infection, so I don't feel too good at the moment.


----------



## MondKrabbe

Tired, lonely, sad. Using my own personal drug of curling up in bed with junk food to make myself feel better. Made my headache go away.


----------



## Lyyli

Uncomfortably numb


----------



## Mabel Pines

SamanthaStrange said:


> Bored. Lonely. Stir crazy.


If you are lonely, I can keep you company, if you want.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

:crying:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Dejected and miserable.



ANX1 said:


> :crying:


What's wrong?


----------



## 3stacks

Bored,anxious, depressed, ugly and lonely. My 5 a day all at once lol


----------



## Wanderlust26

Too tired to do anything.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mabel Pines said:


> If you are lonely, I can keep you company, if you want.


I appreciate the offer, but it's probably better for us both if you just keep whatever image of me you've created in your mind, rather than being disillusioned with the truth.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Cerrada said:


> I feel fantastic! I went in for an interview and it went awesome! I will hopefully we at work in the next few weeks. Yessss.


Congrats.


----------



## Mabel Pines

SamanthaStrange said:


> I appreciate the offer, but it's probably better for us both if you just keep whatever image of me you've created in your mind, rather than being disillusioned with the truth.


You look like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson to me.


----------



## versikk

Umm feeling better and like

Gotta keep going

Lolhorny as always tho
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Kevin001

Irritated that my nose is still not good. I'll try to work on it more.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Dejected and miserable.
> 
> What's wrong?


Sorry to hear you feel that way. 

Missing my lost love ones. Feel really lonely.


----------



## Crisigv

Happy I get to see someone, but then sad and worthless because it's like they can't leave me fast enough.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Happy I get to see someone, but then sad and worthless because it's like they can't leave me fast enough.


Awwww. :hug

I hope it doesn't happen again in the future.


----------



## Crisigv

ANX1 said:


> Awwww. :hug
> 
> I hope it doesn't happen again in the future.


This particular time was a misunderstanding, actually. But I know it's happened with other people.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> This particular time was a misunderstanding, actually. But I know it's happened with other people.


Oh, ok.  :sigh


----------



## Sus y

Feeling better after the worst part of the cold, flu or whatever I got from my nephew passed, a cocktail of medicines helped, of course. I want to :banana now.


----------



## Sus y

ANX1 said:


> :crying:


:hug



SamanthaStrange said:


> I appreciate the offer, but it's probably better for us both if you just keep whatever image of me you've created in your mind, rather than being disillusioned with the truth.


There is still a part of you that should have all the wonderful things of the world, despite whatever you are inside and outside. Why? Because I say so, no other special reason :b. Hope you have a good day today, if it's not possible, maybe tomorrow? :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sus y said:


> Feeling better after the worst part of the cold, flu or whatever I got from my nephew passed, a cocktail of medicines helped, of course. I want to :banana now.


Awesome. :grin2:

Party time. :hb



Sus y said:


> :hug


Thank you.


----------



## Sus y

ANX1 said:


> Awesome. :grin2:
> 
> Party time. :hb
> 
> Thank you.


My ears are a bit in sore still, but I'm way happier now, thank you. :grin2: 
Party time is nice! :clap We deserve some


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sus y said:


> My ears are a bit in sore still, but I'm way happier now, thank you. :grin2:
> Party time is nice! :clap We deserve some


You're welcome. 

I hope the ears feel better with time. 

:yes


----------



## funnynihilist

Why cant I ever have good dreams or even no dreams? No wonder I never feel rested.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sus y said:


> There is still a part of you that should have all the wonderful things of the world, despite whatever you are inside and outside. Why? Because I say so, no other special reason :b. Hope you have a good day today, if it's not possible, maybe tomorrow? :hug


Thank you.


----------



## 0589471

Ready to get out of here.


----------



## birddookie

@*3stacks* Hope you can feel the antonyms of those 5 in the future.:smile2:
@*Wanderlust26* What did you do today? Hope you have a good nights rest and feel refreshed tomorrow.:hyper
@*SamanthaStrange* Well getting to know someone on a forum can show a persons characteristics and traits, and Mabel Pines might like to hang out with you because he likes you. You are a cool person Samantha!:wink2:
@*versikk* Good to see!
@*Kevin001* Was that due to you feeling sick recently? Hope you get it fixed.
@*Crisigv* Happy that you got to see someone, sorry they seemed in a rush, maybe they were busy. Can you contact them to hangout at a later time? 
@*Sus y* Nice! Time to go bananas.:grin2: The loud music will heal your ears.>
@*funnynihilist* Have you tried redoing your dreams? I've had some where I would get hurt or killed, I would try to imagine it back before the bad happens and change the outcome to where I win. I haven't had bad dreams in the past few years. I can take care of any situation that threatens me in them. Now if I could just do that in social situations that would be great.:laugh:
@A Toxic Butterfly Hope everything gets better for you.:hug


----------



## Sus y

birddookie said:


> @*Sus y* Nice! Time to go bananas.:grin2: The loud music will heal your ears.>


Hope so :b
:banana


----------



## Sillystring1212

Ambivalent. Melancholy. Psyched.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

birddookie said:


> @*SamanthaStrange* Well getting to know someone on a forum can show a persons characteristics and traits, and Mabel Pines might like to hang out with you because he likes you. You are a cool person Samantha!:wink2:


I don't entirely agree with that, but I will accept the compliment, thank you.


----------



## Crisigv

Not healthy at all


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Not healthy at all


:hug


----------



## funnynihilist

Well I made more pudding the cooked kind with the skin so that was nice for a minute


----------



## Kevin001

@birddookie Yep thanks


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sad.
Anxious.
Despondent.
Melancholic.

...

Trapped.


----------



## tea111red

Painful being alive.


----------



## versikk

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sad.
> Anxious.
> Despondent.
> Melancholic.
> 
> ...
> 
> Trapped.


Like chest-tightening trapped?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Kevin001

Still sick


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> Painful being alive.


Same.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sad.
> Anxious.
> Despondent.
> Melancholic.
> 
> ...
> 
> Trapped.


Try some sleep mate, sometimes helps to make those feelings go away for a little while until become tired again. 



tea111red said:


> Painful being alive.


But you are alive. :hug



Kevin001 said:


> Still sick


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

versikk said:


> Like chest-tightening trapped?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> Try some sleep mate, sometimes helps to make those feelings go away for a little while until become tired again.


Thanks.


----------



## screamingontheinside

I'm feeling good, I pushed myself to workout today.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

Apathetic, for the most part.


----------



## Omni-slash

Sometimes the guilt hits me. And it's unbearable. I want to crawl inside myself and disappear.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Thanks.


You're welcome.


----------



## Lonely Hobbit

I've been feeling more depressed than usual lately. Hopefully it'll pass.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Lonely Hobbit said:


> I've been feeling more depressed than usual lately. Hopefully it'll pass.


Why are you feeling more depressed than usual, if I may ask?


----------



## Lonely Hobbit

Mabel Pines said:


> Why are you feeling more depressed than usual, if I may ask?


My mind is caught in this cycle where I'm obsessing about things like regrets and missed opportunities and it just doesn't stop. I may be seeing a therapist soon so I'll see how it goes.


----------



## funnynihilist

Blah. I find the world to be blah.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Lonely Hobbit said:


> My mind is caught in this cycle where I'm obsessing about things like regrets and missed opportunities and it just doesn't stop. I may be seeing a therapist soon so I'll see how it goes.


You have to force your mind to change the topic in your head.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Very lonely. Like last night. And all my nights.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Miserable.


----------



## notBlair

I should go urinate.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sorry


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry for a snack before bed.


----------



## unsocial lego

I feel like a sad tooth.


----------



## funnynihilist

notBlair said:


> I should go urinate.


How was it?


----------



## funnynihilist

Ready to bust out of here


----------



## CNikki

Confused.


----------



## funnynihilist

3am and im not tired


----------



## Greys0n

excited, tomorrow have an important interview


----------



## jolene23

Greys0n said:


> excited, tomorrow have an important interview


Good luck &#128578;


----------



## jolene23

karenw said:


> Stomach pain, I will sort it.


I hope you feel better soon. :hug &#128578;


----------



## notBlair

funnynihilist said:


> How was it?


I felt relieved. Empty too, but mostly relieved.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Worthless.

And very depressed.


----------



## funnynihilist

Disgusting weather


----------



## Kilgore Trout

very sad


----------



## EBecca

geraltofrivia said:


> very sad


 :squeeze


----------



## Kilgore Trout

EBecca said:


> :squeeze


:squeeze :heart


----------



## Kevin001

Sick....I might have the worst immune system.


----------



## versikk

Went to an event with alt people by myself

Equals

Me lonely
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Wren611

:grin2: Good.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Scared


----------



## Wanderlust26

Depressed


----------



## versikk

We shall see.

Seeing psych doctor for first time in several months. New doctor too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_

LOL the pdoc was a frazzled mess. She Was 15 minutes late to the appointment, was reading from a 'psych diagnosis quick guide' as we were speaking, and constantly interrupted me as I was trying to explain things. Lowered my benzo dosage. Deleted my Atarax prescription even though I told her I haven't taken it for years. Described Lexapro (which I'm taking) as being 'potent' (lol, do they even know what they're prescribing?). She also didn't even know the clinic had a 247 hotline when I mentioned it . I'm sure she will have switched jobs within the year.


----------



## Lostbeauties

I feel... like there's no hope for me. I disappointed a lot of people with my behavior, unintentionally... with my horrible social skills. So to sum it up, I feel like there's no hope for someone like me. I cried a lot today because of that.


----------



## versikk

Lostbeauties said:


> I feel... like there's no hope for me. I disappointed a lot of people with my behavior, unintentionally... with my horrible social skills. So to sum it up, I feel like there's no hope for someone like me. I cried a lot today because of that.


I feel like you should make a thread about it so it can be discussed a little?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## versikk

Lonely to the point where I willingly hang out with my parents

This is my life now
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## GeomTech

versikk said:


> Lonely to the point where I willingly hang out with my parents
> 
> This is my life now
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No siblings (I, myself don't have any either.)?


----------



## Mabel Pines

Lostbeauties said:


> I feel... like there's no hope for me. I disappointed a lot of people with my behavior, unintentionally... with my horrible social skills. So to sum it up, I feel like there's no hope for someone like me. I cried a lot today because of that.


I hope you feel better, soon.


----------



## Kevin001

Disappointed my nose is better by now.


----------



## versikk

GeomTech said:


> No siblings (I, myself don't have any either.)?


My sibling is alive but not part of my life for the foreseeable future.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Crisigv

I'm already miserable


----------



## 0589471

unmotivated


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Full from dinner with family earlier.


----------



## Lonely Hobbit

I'm feeling depressed but not as bad as I was this morning.


----------



## funnynihilist

Sitting in my cell feeling bored


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Lonely Hobbit said:


> I'm feeling depressed but not as bad as I was this morning.


:rub 



funnynihilist said:


> Sitting in my cell feeling bored


What did you get arrested for?


----------



## EmyMax

Very relaxed now that I took my Xanax XR.
But 2 hours ago I was in complete pain. Bouts of stomach cramps and bloating came out of nowhere.
Thankfully the Xanax kicked in an hour ago, and my stomach has finally settled down a bit.
If anytime I try a new SSRI my stomach has to always rumble like I ate 10kgs of beans, then I really don't know what should I take to cure my IBS symptoms besides some good 'ol Morphine or Dilaudid.
I'm completely at a point where I don't really care much about addictions, but just want to take something to ease my pain and go back living my life the way I lived it up to 2 years ago.
IBS is a real pain to live with, and I already exhausted all the possibilities out there to try to ease my symptoms, somehow, with very little luck.
I wonder what should I really do to get a doctor prescribe some Opiates for my pain.
I don't know if I can take it anymore. I'm really exhausted.


----------



## harrison

Better now I'm home. Melbourne seems to be full now of international students and homeless/crazy people. I should know - they all get on the tram with me going home. The one thing I don't like is when some guy sits behind me and starts talking to himself about killing people. I like to try and keep people like that in front of me where I can see their hands.

I really need a break from this city.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I've been in a pretty bad mood today and the weather has gotten worse again (it was really sunny the past few days.) I really hate the weather here. I wish I lived somewhere that wasn't miserable grey clouds, rain etc 90% of the year. I don't know why people choose to move here.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Like I'm sinking into the floor and falling apart. I can't deal with society and all these systems designed to make people miserable and trapped. Why do people have to be stupid and feed the system... **** pro-life. Just don't have kids. I really don't want to be here.. I hate having to suffer and learn pretty much every ****ing lesson the hard way. You can never recover and feel ashamed for like the rest of your life.


----------



## Crisigv

I already want to kill myself.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Crisigv said:


> I already want to kill myself.


Please don't. Please don't feel that way.


----------



## funnynihilist

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub
> 
> What did you get arrested for?


Posting over the 50 limit


----------



## scintilla

I've been trying to be productive and positive and keep myself busy with other things. But honestly, it's so goddamn exhausting. How do people do it? I'm exhausted. And I feel like I'm tying to convince myself of something that isn't possible. Life sucks. I'm super lonely. I'm in pain most of the time and I can't eat properly. I'm exhausted but sleep doesn't make me any less tired. I'm miserable. I try to find joy in things but its useless. This isn't living. This isn't anything.


----------



## Kevin001

Better just want to be 100% sick free though


----------



## funnynihilist

Another weekend


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> I already want to kill myself.


Don't do that.  :hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Okay.

Just okay.


----------



## Yer Blues

Just getting over the worst flu of my life. :/


----------



## Mabel Pines

Yer Blues said:


> Just getting over the worst flu of my life. :/


I hope that it is completely gone, soon.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed and avoidant.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So confused...


----------



## Chris S W

Buzzed from drinking a cider. And a little emotional; love and sadness.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Better now I'm home. Melbourne seems to be full now of international students and homeless/crazy people. I should know - they all get on the tram with me going home. The one thing I don't like is when some guy sits behind me and starts talking to himself about killing people. I like to try and keep people like that in front of me where I can see their hands.
> 
> I really need a break from this city.


Sorry to hear mate. 

No fights on the trains?



Crisigv said:


> I already want to kill myself.


Please no. :hug



Kevin001 said:


> Better just want to be 100% sick free though


I hope you feel better soon mate. 



PurplePeopleEater said:


> So confused...


I'm confused about what you are confused about. :hug


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Sorry to hear mate.
> 
> No fights on the trains?


No, not really fights mate - but it's a good idea to keep your wits about you in this city nowadays. It's tiring.

Will be going away soon for a break hopefully anyway. Sydney for a couple of weeks then Indo and Thailand again.


----------



## love is like a dream

How are you feeling?



PurplePeopleEater said:


> So confused...


yes this! i'm confused too. what is this 

btw i have mad respect for you. even though i feel inferior when i see people talk about how hard their day at work was(because i have never had a job), but i still respect that.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> No, not really fights mate - but it's a good idea to keep your wits about you in this city nowadays. It's tiring.
> 
> Will be going away soon for a break hopefully anyway. Sydney for a couple of weeks then Indo and Thailand again.


Oh, ok. I kind of avoid public transport due to camera's these days.

Sounds like a good holiday mate. 

In addition, lucky you are going to those countries, as in the Philipines they have closed the beaches to tourists.

They say too many tourists ruining the beaches and doing some upgrades.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Oh, ok. I kind of avoid public transport due to camera's these days.
> 
> Sounds like a good holiday mate.
> 
> In addition, lucky you are going to those countries, as *in the Philipines they have closed the beaches to tourists.*
> 
> They say too many tourists ruining the beaches and doing some upgrades.


I wonder if it's all the beaches or just Boracay?

I actually stayed there a long time ago - before everyone starting pouring into the place. An amazing beach - just white sand, little huts with no electricity or hot water. They used to have to bring us lamps before the sun went down so we could see.  Crazy there now though.


----------



## Mabel Pines

An online acquaintance of mine said that Boracay, where he recently visited, is a absolutely gorgeous.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I wonder if it's all the beaches or just Boracay?
> 
> I actually stayed there a long time ago - before everyone starting pouring into the place. An amazing beach - just white sand, little huts with no electricity or hot water. They used to have to bring us lamps before the sun went down so we could see.  Crazy there now though.


Might be Boracay, as the name sounds familiar. It was on the tv news from memory. They said a popular spot for tourist's and was an island and mentioned many beaches. It was the government shutting them down.

Cool, sounds much like Samoa, Fiji, etc. Did you get a massage while on the beach? It looks relaxing.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Might be Boracay, as the name sounds familiar. It was on the tv news from memory. They said a popular spot for tourist's and was an island and mentioned many beaches. It was the government shutting them down.
> 
> Cool, sounds much like Samoa, Fiji, etc. Did you get a massage while on the beach? It looks relaxing.


Yeah, it was Boracay they were talking about on the news. Hope they fix it up - I'd like to see it again one day, although it's very busy there now.

Back when I did that ( I was in my 20's) I was very broke - I had to hitch a ride on a huge, rusty old boat to get back up to Manila. I travelled with all the locals and slept in these strange old hammocks with everyone else and their chickens. By the time I got back to Manila though I was pretty used to it and had no anxiety much for anything. It was a great trip. 

No massages on the beach back then mate - there were only a few of us backpackers. Nobody much knew about it back then.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yeah, it was Boracay they were talking about on the news. Hope they fix it up - I'd like to see it again one day, although it's very busy there now.
> 
> Back when I did that ( I was in my 20's) I was very broke - I had to hitch a ride on a huge, rusty old boat to get back up to Manila. I travelled with all the locals and slept in these strange old hammocks with everyone else and their chickens. By the time I got back to Manila though I was pretty used to it and had no anxiety much for anything. It was a great trip.
> 
> No massages on the beach back then mate - there were only a few of us backpackers. Nobody much knew about it back then.


Ok, ok. It looked like it was swamped with tourist's.

Cool, sounds like the backpacker experience.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Mabel Pines said:


> An online acquaintance of mine said that Boracay, where he recently visited, is a absolutely gorgeous.


Awesome, thank you for sharing that.


----------



## Mabel Pines

ANX1 said:


> Awesome, thank you for sharing that.


Thank you for thanking me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Mabel Pines said:


> Thank you for thanking me.


You're welcome for saying thank you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling. Damn, at 4:43+ she shreds that guitar -






Needs a Gibson or similar electric guitar. But impressive playing without.


----------



## Mabel Pines

^ There's an elephant in the room that you didn't mention at all, lol.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Mabel Pines said:


> ^ There's an elephant in the room that you didn't mention at all, lol.


:sus

I thought most would notice the old bedspread with modern chair, pink walls.

Reminds me of an old palace room minus the fancy trim.


----------



## unsocial lego

I was so stressed out this morning but after work I feel good actually.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Coincidence said:


> How are you feeling?
> 
> yes this! i'm confused too. what is this
> 
> btw i have mad respect for you. even though i feel inferior when i see people talk about how hard their day at work was(because i have never had a job), but i still respect that.


I want to know what it is, too. :frown2: Things get stranger and stranger by the day. At least people do somewhat. I don't know. That's why I'm confused. I feel crazy honestly. lol

Thank you. I appreciate that. You shouldn't feel inferior. I felt the same way when I didn't have a job, though. But I was at a point where I felt I could never get a job. That way of thinking is partly what kept me from getting one. But keep at it. We all have to get one eventually. Just takes longer for some people. I didn't have my first one until I was 22.


----------



## SofaKing

They all leave eventually...divorce, death, or distaste, I end up alone.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SofaKing said:


> They all leave eventually...divorce, death, or distaste, I end up alone.




Cheer up mate. 

Don't let life get to you. 

Stay strong.


----------



## love is like a dream

@PurplePeopleEater 
don't feel crazy or anything. i understand social anxiety + dealing with everyday people at work can be really stressful. you are very underrated
PurplePeopleEater hey by the way i was going to say in this thread " i'm confused", and then when i was trying to write i found your post and you said the same thing" i'm confused" i was like wow this is very strange we both said the same thing at the same time 

+ don't forget that you have big colorful blue eyes like..very nice


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, hopeless, pointless and left out.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Sad, hopeless, pointless and left out.


Sorry to hear that you feel sad, hopeless. :hug

Not left out, you have us here. 

Chin up.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Depressed
Angry
Lonely


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Wanderlust26 said:


> Depressed
> Angry
> Lonely


Sorry to hear that you feel that way. :hug


----------



## funnynihilist

3am oh well


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Meh.


----------



## Chris S W

Gonna cry.


----------



## jolene23

Chris S W said:


> Gonna cry.


----------



## llodell88

a little tired, cold, and bored. i need some mindless work to do.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired from a long day. Went to the mall with mother and looked around at some stores.


----------



## Chris S W

jolene23 said:


>


Thanks. I didn't cry much at all in the end, mostly just sadness.


----------



## EBecca

isolated


----------



## Deaf Mute

_They'll destroy you

before too long

Tides conspire

A million strong

You're holding on

you keep holding on

you keep holding on

you keep holding on_


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed.

Lonely.


----------



## Ai

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed.
> 
> Lonely.


 Me too. :squeeze


----------



## versikk

Feel much better now after a week of actually getting creative work done. Fuuuuuuuck! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Wanderlust26

Obsessed


----------



## Jeff271

doing alright


----------



## Kevin001

Much better but still lingering issues


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Coincidence said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> don't feel crazy or anything. i understand social anxiety + dealing with everyday people at work can be really stressful. you are very underrated
> PurplePeopleEater hey by the way i was going to say in this thread " i'm confused", and then when i was trying to write i found your post and you said the same thing" i'm confused" i was like wow this is very strange we both said the same thing at the same time
> 
> + don't forget that you have big colorful blue eyes like..very nice


Thanks.  I wouldn't say I'm underrated but I appreciate it either way. :b

Haha, what a coincidence.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Wanderlust26 said:


> Depressed
> Angry
> Lonely


If you are feeling lonely, you can always chat with me.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Mabel Pines said:


> If you are feeling lonely, you can always chat with me.


Thanks.


----------



## Mabel Pines

I'm feeling gassy, at the moment. Thanks for asking.


----------



## harrison

Mabel Pines said:


> An online acquaintance of mine said that Boracay, where he recently visited, is a absolutely gorgeous.


Sorry, didn't see this before. I haven't been there for ages but it's probably still a beautiful island. I think they just need to fix the plumbing - it sounds like it's been a bit overwhelmed.


----------



## 0589471

bittersweet


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Not that good. A bit irritable and agitated for some reason.


----------



## 0589471

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Not that good. A bit irritable and agitated for some reason.


I'm sorry :squeeze hope you feel better soon :frown2:


----------



## SplendidBob

Good. Therapist patched me up again today. 3 more sessions, but this last week I think I handled that particular **** storm pretty well all things considered.

She also practically told me which career I should follow :lol.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ai said:


> Me too. :squeeze


Thanks, Ai. :squeeze Sorry you were feeling depressed and lonely too.

But I hope you're doing well, I don't see you posting much these days.


----------



## birddookie

@EBecca We're here for you in the cyber worldz if you want some company. Hope you make some good friends in the real world.:hug
@SamanthaStrange Here for you, hope you feel better, may the loneliness, and depression pass. As always best wishes on finding some real life friends.:squeeze
@versikk
OHHH YEAHHH:laugh:





 @Wanderlust26 Hate that feeling, and hope it passes for you . Here's a song for you, enjoy.:wink2:




 @Jeff271 Nice!
@Kevin001 Hope your nose doesn't have permanent damage. I got a sinus infection one year and lost most of my smelling senses, should be a plumber. Time for the issues to see it's way out the door.
@Mabel Pines You been hanging out with @funnynihilist again?:grin2:
@A Toxic Butterfly Tough to respond, hope you lose the bitter, and keep the sweet. Don't know whether to hug you, or smile..:hug
@iAmCodeMonkey Hope you feel better, have you been getting enough sleep lately?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

birddookie said:


> @SamanthaStrange Here for you, hope you feel better, may the loneliness, and depression pass. As always best wishes on finding some real life friends.:squeeze


Thank you.


----------



## Kevin001

@birddookie I'm doing better but I've always had nose issues lol.


----------



## EBecca

thank you :squeeze @*birddookie*


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

birddookie said:


> @*iAmCodeMonkey* Hope you feel better, have you been getting enough sleep lately?


Yup, and thanks for the kind words.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@birddookie

Like it is time to retire from this @, quoting stuff.

Time for a change I guess. 

Wish you lot the best.


----------



## Mabel Pines

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> bittersweet


Why's that?


----------



## birddookie

@*SamanthaStrange* 
@*EBecca* 
@*Kevin001*

You're welcome!:smile2:

Kevin guess we both can be plumbers, time to get the low cut Levi's 455 plumber edition.

Now you know why they have plumbers crack, it's to hold extra tools like pliers. Can I spoil that image it might be too obscene?








@*iAmCodeMonkey* Dern hope it passes soon. I was agitated last week, due to lack of sleep.
@*ANX1* Hey, we're all here to support each other, and if someone's day is a little brighter because of it, that's great. You inspired me to start doing it, and I can't be on here all the time, I'm about to go back to my second job later this week. No need to retire the @'s.:smile2:


----------



## Lonely Hobbit

I feel like an empty shell of a person.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

birddookie said:


> @*SamanthaStrange*
> @*EBecca*
> @*Kevin001*
> 
> You're welcome!:smile2:
> 
> Kevin guess we both can be plumbers, time to get the low cut Levi's 455 plumber edition.
> 
> Now you know why they have plumbers crack, it's to hold extra tools like pliers. Can I spoil that image it might be too obscene?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> @*iAmCodeMonkey* Dern hope it passes soon. I was agitated last week, due to lack of sleep.
> @*ANX1* Hey, we're all here to support each other, and if someone's day is a little brighter because of it, that's great. You inspired me to start doing it, and I can't be on here all the time, I'm about to go back to my second job later this week. No need to retire the @'s.:smile2:


That is the reason why I started doing it, to help people. But in some ways it is not working as intended anymore (do notice it). There is a point where like some have mentioned along the lines of, I'm like the old worn out record that needs to be removed.


----------



## 0589471

ANX1 said:


> That is the reason why I started doing it, to help people. But in some ways it is not working as intended anymore (do notice it). There is a point where like some have mentioned along the lines of, I'm like the old worn out record that needs to be removed.


Noooooo! Don't let the words of the few diminish your spirit! Your kindness and encouragement really does help, even if you can't see it. This forum needs more of that, honestly. Everybody appreciates acknowledgement, no matter how small. Unless you're taking a break for yourself, that's okay, but don't do it just because you're feeling down about it or that people don't appreciate it. It truly does help


----------



## Crisigv

Oh my Leafs, you give me anxiety.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

R.I.P Simone, you had a beautiful soul -






:crying:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Noooooo! Don't let the words of the few diminish your spirit! Your kindness and encouragement really does help, even if you can't see it. This forum needs more of that, honestly. Everybody appreciates acknowledgement, no matter how small. Unless you're taking a break for yourself, that's okay, but don't do it just because you're feeling down about it or that people don't appreciate it. It truly does help


Sometimes the pain gets too much.


----------



## birddookie

@*ANX1* Thing is you're a classic man, like the Beatles, you never get old.






Also there are plenty of times that I don't get quoted back or mentioned. I put it to the person feeling really bad or not know how to respond due to their social anxiety/depression, but if they read it and it keeps them going for another moment instead of being ignored and feeling bad, then that is worth it. I've ignored others in real life that I meant to respond to, but due to my social anxiety, I didn't know how to respond, so I can relate to others on here.

@*Crisigv* if they won the Stanley Cup, would your anxiety be cured.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

birddookie said:


> @*ANX1* Thing is you're a classic man, like the Beatles, you never get old.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Also there are plenty of times that I don't get quoted back or mentioned. I put it to the person feeling really bad or not know how to respond due to their social anxiety/depression, but if they read it and it keeps them going for another moment instead of being ignored and feeling bad, then that is worth it. I've ignored others in real life that I meant to respond to, but due to my social anxiety, I didn't know how to respond, so I can relate to others on here.
> 
> @*Crisigv* if they won the Stanley Cup, would your anxiety be cured.


It is people lashing out and me being the part cause of them being upset. 

Don't want to cause them pain.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Anxious


----------



## birddookie

ANX1 said:


> It is people lashing out and me being the part cause of them being upset.
> 
> Don't want to cause them pain.


Sorry to hear that :frown2: If they told you not to, then you should put them on ignore. Out of sight, out of mind as the saying goes. Also they have that option as well, and this website is about support, so if they don't want it, then why are they on here?

@Wanderlust26 What's causing it? Hope you can overcome it.:squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

birddookie said:


> Sorry to hear that :frown2: If they told you not to, then you should put them on ignore. Out of sight, out of mind as the saying goes. Also they have that option as well, and this website is about support, so if they don't want it, then why are they on here?


Thank you for your kind words. 

I just respect their wishes and don't reply to them anymore.

More to vent or have decent conversations according to them. Supposedly platitudes are not welcomed. That is something you don't do, hence most likely why they accept you.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired as all hell. Time for bed.


----------



## birddookie

ANX1 said:


> Thank you for your kind words.
> 
> I just respect their wishes and don't reply to them anymore.
> 
> More to vent or have decent conversations according to them. Supposedly platitudes are not welcomed. That is something you don't do, hence most likely why they accept you.


You're welcome! :grin2:Even then I don't get responses from everyone. You can't please everyone, I think they get tired that their problems aren't going away, your posts of hope starts to tick them off, and they lash out at you in pain. Even though you don't reply to them, please pray for them/wish them well. I'll probably tick someone off in the future. I also hope the ones that do get ticked off, can resolve what is causing them distress.

@iAmCodeMonkey Have a good night!

Thing is you still have others that like your support.:smile2:


----------



## Mabel Pines

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Tired as all hell. Time for bed.


What did you do to make you so tired, if I may ask?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

birddookie said:


> You're welcome! :grin2:Even then I don't get responses from everyone. You can't please everyone, I think they get tired that their problems aren't going away, your posts of hope starts to tick them off, and they lash out at you in pain. Even though you don't reply to them, please pray for them/wish them well. I'll probably tick someone off in the future. I also hope the ones that do get ticked off, can resolve what is causing them distress.
> 
> @iAmCodeMonkey Have a good night!
> 
> Thing is you still have others that like your support.:smile2:


Thank you for your kind words. 

I do wish them best. 

I hope they can resolve their issues.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

Insomnia got me feeling like..


----------



## versikk

Tired, hungry, so tense I could almost scream

Aaaaaah another day. At least I got work done yesterday.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Flora20

Completely exhausted


----------



## AlbertJ

Hi everyone, I haven't posted here in a long time. 

Trying to do more gardening lately to try and improve my mood. But jeez, I get so tired of people. Does anybody else sometimes feel the same way? Going to shops and stuff, just feels like I don't fit in anywhere. Get so angry at people who ask you how you are at cash registers and stuff, (I get it's their job, but why ask when nobody cares anyway?). I try and smile and be friendly and people seem to treat me like I'm insane. Where are all the kind, nice people?


----------



## birddookie

@ANX1 You're welcome!:smile2:
@LightUpTheAzureSky Perfect representation of Insomnia.
@versikk Sorry to hear that, congrats on getting work done yesterday.
@Flora20 Hopefully you got some caffeine.:hyper
@AlbertJ Welcome back! That's the good ole Social Anxiety doing that to us. It seems as the years go on the worse society is getting. There are still some kind folks out there though.


----------



## Nekobasu

I am quite hungry, but cannot decide what to eat. It is actually very frustrating.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

@*birddookie* Why thank you my good man.


----------



## CNikki

Irritated and annoyed.


----------



## birddookie

@*Nekobasu* I'll take a letter of your name and sput a restaurant and food to see if you find any you like.

N In and out Neopolitan sandwich
E Earls Edamame
K KFC Kangaroo
O Outback Steakhouse Octopus
B Burger King Broccoli
A Arby's Apple Pie
S Subway Steak
U Union Oyster House Ugli

Ugli is a hybrid grapefruit and tangerine, and a synonym of my face.:grin2:
I put it down because I didn't know what it was. lol
@*LightUpTheAzureSky* Your welcome, great reference, the best representation of constipation is Hulk Hogan making a comeback in a match and he starts puffing his cheeks. I can't find a Youtube video of it though:laugh:
@*CNikki* I bet you need a day at the spa. Hope you feel less stressed.:rub


----------



## CNikki

@birddookie - That does sound nice. But I guess my problem right now is finding some way on overestimating things and people. I'm letting it get to me more than I should. That and other existential things.


----------



## Kevin001

90% sick free


----------



## SFC01

banging headache - caffeine withdrawal I think


----------



## SFC01

Had better starts to the day but all clear now.


----------



## discopotato

dizzy


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Kinda sleepy to be honest, hehehe


----------



## 0589471

I might try swimming again, it's gotten hotter here and too unbearable for a walk at the moment.


----------



## tea111red

Need relief from this nightmare life.


----------



## tea111red

Hideous looking, too. uke Ugh.


----------



## funnynihilist

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> I might try swimming again, it's gotten hotter here and too unbearable for a walk at the moment.


This thread just got hotter since I showed up, hawt enough to cause a chafe!
 hahahahahah


----------



## 0589471

@funnynihilist too funny bean. You've turned my swimming pool into lava, I hope you chafe!


----------



## funnynihilist

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> @funnynihilist I hope you chafe!


That's already been handled


----------



## 3stacks

mehhhhh


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Hideous looking, too. uke Ugh.


More like hot and you know it.


----------



## unsocial lego

Terrible. I want the world to stop I need to get off.


----------



## funnynihilist

I don't feel alive. Like really alive. I live like a zombie.


----------



## Mabel Pines

tea111red said:


> Need relief from this nightmare life.


People turn to escapes (drugs and alcohol, etc.) and distractions (entertaining youtube videos and much-loved movies, etc.).


----------



## llodell88

i feel really wound up and all i had was 2 or 3 cups of green tea with ginseng, really up


----------



## SofaKing

I'm sofaking bored.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That I'm addicted to driving my car. Took the long way home so can enjoy driving it. 

The engines transient response while pressing accelerator pedal when exiting a corner (rockets out of a corner), handling like a go cart (feels tight, planted to the ground with oodles of grip), feeling every bump in the road, like a massage to your hands, seat.

The exhaust note barking away to make you want more of that sound.

Much like this car -


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Numb, empty and drained.

Again.


----------



## funnynihilist

SofaKing said:


> I'm sofaking bored.


I'm bored too. Like really really bored.


----------



## funnynihilist

Man that Olive Garden from earlier is really kicking in there!


----------



## tea111red

Mabel Pines said:


> People turn to escapes (drugs and alcohol, etc.) and distractions (entertaining youtube videos and much-loved movies, etc.).


I really just wish the circumstances in my life would change for the better.


----------



## Mabel Pines

tea111red said:


> I really just wish the circumstances in my life would change for the better.


Then you have to be proactive and affect that.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Negative Nancy.


----------



## Lonely Hobbit

I'm feeling lethargic.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Lonely Hobbit said:


> I'm feeling lethargic.


Same. :sigh


----------



## Crisigv

Headache from yesterday is kinda creeping back.


----------



## CNikki

Start off the day fairly decent, which is all that it takes for me to feel like I'm on top of the world for once. Then it ends on the note of reality kicking in, thus back to being in the ditch I came out of.

Oh well. I'm used to it by now.


----------



## f1ora

i feel empty yet overwhelmed, and as if there is no hope for me.


----------



## chrissyq3838

I feel horrible


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Concerned as second major storm from the antartic this month. Trees, power down in some places.


----------



## tea111red

Too wound up and stressed.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Too wound up and stressed.


Awww. :hug

 :sigh


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> Awww. :hug
> 
> :sigh


Yeah....there is not really a lot I can do right now to not feel so anxious. Can't even sleep well. I guess I'm going to just get up and try to get through the day on lousy rest again. :stu


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Yeah....there is not really a lot I can do right now to not feel so anxious. Can't even sleep well. I guess I'm going to just get up and try to get through the day on lousy rest again. :stu


Try distracting yourself mentally. When mind wanders to worrying or stressful thoughts, refocus mind on happy memories.

Here is some happy memories for you to focus on -


----------



## Lyyli

Nostalgic


----------



## Chris S W

I'm feeling okay. Peaceful.


----------



## discopotato

Worthless.


----------



## zonebox

Chilling on my couch, watching videos about old computers (I love old systems), I just fried some left over spaghetti from last night, got a little concoction I created for soda, which is delicious (orange, lemon, lime, and caffeine, carbonated) updated my game quite a bit, it looks rough but hey, it is my first..

And of course, I got my Dog JD, a total goofus chilling out with me.










Life is pretty good right now, not facebook good, but decent. I was having wicked caffeine withdrawals for a few days, I had no idea it would impact me that much. Headache, tremors, stomach ache, it is crazy how much it impacted me. So I bought some caffeine pills to make my own soda with, and have been feeling a lot better. So, I've been pretty happy I'm not going through that anymore.

Otherwise, I'm looking forward to a few drinks tonight, and perhaps a bit of gaming.


----------



## 629753

scintilla said:


> I've been trying to be productive and positive and keep myself busy with other things. But honestly, it's so goddamn exhausting. How do people do it? I'm exhausted. And I feel like I'm tying to convince myself of something that isn't possible. Life sucks. I'm super lonely. I'm in pain most of the time and I can't eat properly. I'm exhausted but sleep doesn't make me any less tired. I'm miserable. I try to find joy in things but its useless. This isn't living. This isn't anything.


I dont know about you but numbness is my favorite time of the day


----------



## Crisigv

Ugly, tired and emotional


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Ugly, tired and emotional


:hug


----------



## The Linux Guy

It drives me mad
I wonder are you glad?
Are you glad that it drives me mad?
You know? your making me sad.
Yeah I know I can be bad.
But it is not intentional.
I just want to talk.
And you just walk away.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I've done 10 meets. Hosted another one on Wednesday, so that's three I've hosted.

These meets aren't helping at all with my endless depression. I felt like throwing myself under a train yesterday before the meet.

I'll never get over losing her. I want to go in my sleep. Depression is so bad it's affecting my folks and making them depressed as well.

I wish I could just accept being alone now. I've meet about 60 people doing these meets, and know that I'll never get close to anyone of them. None of them can replace her.

I've lost the one person who ever made me truly happy in this god damn life.


----------



## SofaKing

Pete Beale said:


> I've done 10 meets. Hosted another one on Wednesday, so that's three I've hosted.
> 
> These meets aren't helping at all with my endless depression. I felt like throwing myself under a train yesterday before the meet.
> 
> I'll never get over losing her. I want to go in my sleep. Depression is so bad it's affecting my folks and making them depressed as well.
> 
> I wish I could just accept being alone now. I've meet about 60 people doing these meets, and know that I'll never get close to anyone of them. None of them can replace her.
> 
> I've lost the one person who ever made me truly happy in this god damn life.


I'm sorry you're still struggling, mate. I know these sentiments very very well.

I hope you'll recognize the strength you have to keep getting out there and even hosting these meets.

And I've always been surprised that never is never what it turns out to be.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

I'm doing fine, decent mood, decent amount of rest, could be better or worse.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> I'm sorry you're still struggling, mate. I know these sentiments very very well.
> 
> I hope you'll recognize the strength you have to keep getting out there and even hosting these meets.
> 
> And I've always been surprised that never is never what it turns out to be.


I'm exhausted mate. In between these meets I'm doing nothing though. I signed up for a college course but backed out after doing two meets back to back one saturday, and realizing how tired doing that made me. It's so hard meeting all these people with all sorts of issues, and knowing that at the end of the day we're all struggling with our own internal worlds and on our own.

I'm so exhausted by my own crap then have to talk to other's about it and listen to their issues. Of course we do talk about loads of other things and there are some laughs, but I just feel so ****ing alone and trapped. I feel like I've lost so much of my life and I'm hanging on by a thread at this stage, at this ****ing age.

The one person I needed and wanted to be around has left me, and I've done nothing wrong mate. I've said some things I regret and know she's been spying on me on here, and now regret some of the stuff I posted on here, but it comes from being so frustrated, I had no one to talk, and I bloody cared about her. If I didn't care I'd just have told her to f off and done a runner, but I care so much about both of us, and I'm powerless to do anything about it.

I've never worried about my life as much as I am now. I'm facing a true midlife crisis. I don't know what to do, other than just try and keep surviving now. I almost pulled out of a meet I hosted Wednesday but cannot afford to do it, otherwise I will end up giving up completely. It's all I've got now. I wish I could say that meeting like minded people was helping me, but it's not. I'm forced to face a lot of things now within myself, that I avoided and buried, and it's scary. How I feel now is scary ****. I feel physically ill every day and sob like a baby at times at the loss of her and the loss of my youth.


----------



## SplendidBob

@Pete Beale sorry you are still struggling fella. Hope things start turning around (I think you should continue with the meets, as much as you can. It's like my library volunteering tbh, every damn week its a struggle to force myself to do it, but if I don't its a regression backwards). Keep plugging away mate and always welcome here


----------



## Mabel Pines

LightUpTheAzureSky said:


> I'm doing fine, decent mood, decent amount of rest, could be better or worse.


Aristotle said that everything in moderation is a good thing.


----------



## 0589471

All mixed up inside & lonely. I feel so stupid, like hanging onto desperate hope, in that denial stage I suppose. Been listening to "You were meant for me" like a sappy loser on repeat this morning. :lol


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

splendidbob said:


> @Pete Beale sorry you are still struggling fella. Hope things start turning around (I think you should continue with the meets, as much as you can. It's like my library volunteering tbh, every damn week its a struggle to force myself to do it, but if I don't its a regression backwards). Keep plugging away mate and always welcome here


Thanks mate.

All we can do is keep trying. I broke no contact and messaged her 3 weeks ago. Just a couple of short sentences. She didn't even take delivery of them before I was blocked. Then last saturday I put whatsapp on my phone to text a guy from the meetup.com group, who was having trouble getting on the sites messaging service. I noticed she was on whatsapp, so sent her a message, then she blocked me on that.

Waiting for the train yesterday to go to the meet, I get a call from Nottinghamshire police. Copper was a nice bloke and told me that she doesn't want to do me for harassment, but she no longer want's to be in contact with me, so I need to leave her alone, otherwise they'll charge me. Told me he was aware of the length of time we'd known each other but she doesn't want to hear from me anymore. I told him we both have mental health issues and that's how we met, and I could have probably got some more details out of him because he seemed like a nice bloke who would have chatted to me for a bit, but I had to get the train and just didn't have time. Wish I'd tried to speak to him a bit more.

After that call I had to force myself to that meet more than I've ever had to force myself to do anything. I thought about throwing myself in front of a ****ing train. On the way back thought about throwing myself in the ****ing canal. I'm tired mate but I have to go on. I have to keep on suffering and just hope it goes away. I've took it as far as I can with her and need to let go now. It's been almost 6 months and I feel worse than ever, but what can I do other than keep trying. It's so hard because she took away all the years, a ****ing life time of loneliness tbh, and now it's all come back. I was a prisoner of my own mind before I met her, and now I'm back inside again, but it's worse now and she isn't going to come back and free me, release me. I gotta try and get out again.


----------



## Chris S W

I still feel peaceful. This should only change for the worse generally if I start being irrational again. All I have to do is follow the knowledge I have gained.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Chris S W said:


> I still feel peaceful. This should only change for the worse generally if I start being irrational again. All I have to do is follow the knowledge I have gained.


I hope the peace lasts for a long time for you, if that's what you want.


----------



## funnynihilist

Waiting for the Long John's to hit bottom that place was a real piece of jank!


----------



## Chris S W

Mabel Pines said:


> I hope the peace lasts for a long time for you, if that's what you want.


Thank you, it is.


----------



## Ai

SamanthaStrange said:


> But I hope you're doing well, I don't see you posting much these days.


I'm alright. Surviving. lol

Feel generally pretty invisible, so my interest in sticking around waxes and wanes. Gets boring when you get the sense you're only talking to yourself. lol Shrug.


----------



## SplendidBob

Ai said:


> I'm alright. Surviving. lol
> 
> Feel generally pretty invisible, so my interest in sticking around waxes and wanes. Gets boring when you get the sense you're only talking to yourself. lol Shrug.


Always read Ai posts .


----------



## Chris S W

Ai said:


> I'm alright. Surviving. lol
> 
> Feel generally pretty invisible, so my interest in sticking around waxes and wanes. Gets boring when you get the sense you're only talking to yourself. lol Shrug.


I read your posts when I see them, Ai.


----------



## Mabel Pines

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> All mixed up inside & lonely. I feel so stupid, like hanging onto desperate hope, in that denial stage I suppose. Been listening to "You were meant for me" like a sappy loser on repeat this morning. :lol


Listening to something on repeat is what I do often, lol. I just hope that it isn't scientifically classified in the loser's activity category.


----------



## 0589471

Mabel Pines said:


> Listening to something on repeat is what I do often, lol. I just hope that it isn't scientifically classified in the loser's activity category.


Lol no, not repeating something. More like the song itself that classifies me as such


----------



## Crisigv

I have a headache from earlier that won't go away, and I forgot to take something for it. It's been too long since I ate and I don't want to risk a stomachache.


----------



## Ai

Ok. Not nauseous, so that's something. lol



splendidbob said:


> Always read Ai posts .





Chris S W said:


> I read your posts when I see them, Ai.


Thanks. 

Sorry. I don't mean to sound so whiny. lol


----------



## Wanderlust26

Pissed off. My car has brought me nothing but headaches the past 3 years. It's not all its fault... It's just reaching that age where a lot of old parts need replacing. Still...UGH!


----------



## tea111red

Can't sleep again and am worrying about stuff.


----------



## Chris S W

Ai said:


> Thanks.
> 
> Sorry. I don't mean to sound so whiny. lol


Lol. It's okay. You were just expressing how you felt.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

Mabel Pines said:


> Aristotle said that everything in moderation is a good thing.


He also said that if you enjoy solitude you're either a beast or a god, so that's a thing.
Putting my random statement aside, thanks for the positive outlook. :grin2:


----------



## f1ora

Nauseous and worried -- this entire past week tbh up to now. my troubles aren't over until the end of this week, and I keep having very intrusive thoughts of bad things. hopefully i can just drink it all away this Friday.


----------



## Mabel Pines

f1ora said:


> Nauseous and worried -- this entire past week tbh up to now. my troubles aren't over until the end of this week, and I keep having very intrusive thoughts of bad things. hopefully i can just drink it all away this Friday.


What are you worried about, if I may ask? What kind of intrusive thoughts, if I may ask? I don't mean to prod or anything.


----------



## f1ora

Mabel Pines said:


> What are you worried about, if I may ask? What kind of intrusive thoughts, if I may ask? I don't mean to prod or anything.


School mostly
my focus of study is becoming a little harder, but nothing comes easy that's ok. but i feel im behind others and not doing well enough, and i feel my teacher is disappointed in me or dislikes me (which, when i think clearly i know that's not true but I worry about many things). ill drop it here im a perfectionist haha. I don't want to regret the choice i've made in the future

I have a lot on my plate right now to take care of, but I feel trapped because i can't take care of all of it right now, just as the week goes and it gets me anxious. A loooot of stuff to do to get situated into my new uni this fall but I can't do it bc of current classes in the way

My intrusive thoughts are mostly about a man I saw kill himself a while ago, it makes me feel empty and far away. It was on TV, I don't watch the video at all anymore. I try my best to repress it. It's very eerie and sad, I hate the music in it too. and it's more depressing bc people only curse and make fun of him instead of show compassion. Other thoughts are self-esteem related

I worry and get sad to the point where I feel nauseous, and i feel someone is angry at me or out to hurt me. I study a lil too hard and get headaches and nausea bc I don't want to make a single mistake.


----------



## llodell88

tonight is so boring, i want another slushie


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Apathetic.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Drained and numb.


----------



## Mabel Pines

llodell88 said:


> tonight is so boring, i want another slushie


Where do you get your slushies?


----------



## Wanderlust26

Pissed off and annoyed of people's stupidity I had to deal with.


----------



## unsocial lego

dead inside


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh


----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## unemployment simulator

rough as a badgers arse. probably looking not far off one as well!


----------



## Nekobasu

Like a cat in a world run by mice.


----------



## versikk

in complete shock of how dark my insides can be


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Confused.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mixed emotions, none of them good. Also feeling crappy physically.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Scrub-Zero said:


> Confused.


Why are you confused? 0


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Mabel Pines said:


> Why are you confused? 0


It's a long story, companero.


----------



## Flora20

Just tired in every way, like I need to sleep for a week..


----------



## CNikki

A bit upset and anxious. Warmer weather is approaching and I'm dreading all the reminders that come with it.


----------



## 0589471

can't shake this migraine. it's so powerful it's making me sick, been in bed the past couple days now.


----------



## Nekobasu

All of you makin me feel like a loser.


----------



## vela

Kinda sad but it's probably because I'm tired. Didn't get enough sleep.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

CNikki said:


> A bit upset and anxious. Warmer weather is approaching and I'm dreading all the reminders that come with it.


:hug



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> can't shake this migraine. it's so powerful it's making me sick, been in bed the past couple days now.


Awwww. :hug

Check that pillow is supporting neck when in bed.

Other than that, check what you have eaten. Or if any flu making the rounds. Drink orange juice which is said to help with the flu.


----------



## NoLife93

bored and empty


----------



## Wanderlust26

Such mixed feelings: pissed off, anxious, worried, lonely, and a little depressed.


----------



## funnynihilist

I got a chafe and it burns


----------



## versikk

Wanderlust26 said:


> Such mixed feelings: pissed off, anxious, worried, lonely, and a little depressed.


enough is enough!


----------



## SplendidBob

****ing mess today, Gym did nothing to alleviate depression. Can't force myself to do the prep for volunteering tomorrow. Why do I always have to force myself to do everything?


----------



## Mabel Pines

Wanderlust26 said:


> Such mixed feelings: pissed off, anxious, worried, lonely, and a little depressed.


Why are you feeling those things, if I may ask?


----------



## Wanderlust26

versikk said:


> enough is enough!


Hey, why are you yelling at me! 



Mabel Pines said:


> Why are you feeling those things, if I may ask?


I'm still having trouble finding work, my car had to get towed twice because the mechanic is either an idiot or an ******* trying to rip me off, and I still have a mountain of student debt. This isn't where I expected to be in life at 28. That's about it....


----------



## versikk

Wanderlust26 said:


> Hey, why are you yelling at me!


At? No. With/about.

--------------

I just masturbated and it didn't feel like a mental car crash (think getting bombarded with negative thoughts about life and extreme shame/doubt regarding my sexuality while 'bating - not for the faint of heart ROFL).

In fact it was a _good _one. Altho the post-ejac relaxation is wearing off rather quick. I am now looking forward to 3 hours of sleep and then it's time for work again.

EDIT: for having slept 3 hours I feel absolutely fantastic. this is gonna be an interesting day


----------



## tea111red

Blah
Apathetic 

:stu

Don't know how to not be/feel this way.


----------



## unemployment simulator




----------



## discopotato

Disappointed.


----------



## versikk

lol making my own thread about it instead


----------



## tea111red

Ready for this day to be over...can't wait till tomorrow. Considering buying something to knock me out. Need to try to work up energy for that, though.


----------



## tea111red

Feel a few notches above a vegetable maybe.


----------



## twistix

Listless


----------



## Daxi004

like I might have good night tonight :eyes


----------



## Ai

Sleepy, a little overheated. Kind of want to open my window, but it's raining and I'm a little concerned it might blow into the window and onto my mattress... It's done tricksier things to me before. lol


----------



## Daxi004

I feel like a worm


----------



## Slacker

Trapped


----------



## Sus y

Moody.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That I need a sandwich.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Annoyed


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed and worthless


----------



## Mabel Pines

Crisigv said:


> Depressed and worthless


I hope you feel better, soon.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sus y said:


> Moody.


:hug



Wanderlust26 said:


> Annoyed


:hug



Crisigv said:


> Depressed and worthless


:hug


----------



## AffinityWing

Bored :yawn


----------



## Mabel Pines

Wanderlust26 said:


> Annoyed


Why?


----------



## Mabel Pines

Sus y said:


> Moody.


Alastor was moody and he mad-eyed the situation to find a bouncing-ferret solution for it.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Uncomfortable.


----------



## Nekobasu

Loved :heart:heart:heart


----------



## chrissyq3838

I feel like hell


----------



## Sus y

Mabel Pines said:


> Alastor was moody and he mad-eyed the situation to find a bouncing-ferret solution for it.


:b



Nekobasu said:


> Loved :heart:heart:heart


:yay


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I have to force myself to go to a meet tomorrow at a park and nature centre. 

I shouldn't have to force myself to do this. I should be looking forward to it.

I wake up everyday now, wishing I hadn't.


----------



## Fruitcake

My tummy hurts and I feel a bit sad but I'll be okay. And then at some point probably I won't be okay anymore. But I'll be okay.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Fruitcake said:


> My tummy hurts and I feel a bit sad but I'll be okay. And then at some point probably I won't be okay anymore. But I'll be okay.


Why does your tummy hurt and why do you feel a bit sad?


----------



## Greys0n

a bit depressed because I caught a cold


----------



## Fruitcake

Mabel Pines said:


> Why does your tummy hurt and why do you feel a bit sad?


Because I have cramps. I guess my mood is low because it's 3 a.m. and my mood tends to get low around now, and I didn't eat enough today. I will go eat and have some painkillers now.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Fruitcake said:


> Because I have cramps. I guess my mood is low because it's 3 a.m. and my mood tends to get low around now, and I didn't eat enough today. I will go eat and have some painkillers now.


What are you going to eat?


----------



## unsocial lego

Sleepy from waking up at 4 am today. Tired from work. And I'm going out of town with my family. They'll probably make me drive too. I just want to sleep...


----------



## Crisigv

So incredibly sad. It feels like my soul is being crushed.


----------



## Daxi004

egotistical


----------



## EarthDominator

Extremely guilty.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> So incredibly sad. It feels like my soul is being crushed.


 :hug

Maybe your soul is on Youtube -






I think I found your twin. :O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

This song you can probably relate to -


----------



## llodell88

boring night


----------



## Jasmine Heart

I feel sad and alone. It is a painful feeling.


----------



## Rebootplease

Regreting not going out.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Who gives a shiit? No one would care about how I am feeling. I am pretty invisible.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Who gives a shiit? No one would care about how I am feeling. I am pretty invisible.


We do.


----------



## Crisigv

Horrible


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Down.


----------



## cinto

Not sure. Just wish I felt better than this


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> We do.


Sure I guess.


----------



## The Library of Emma

Outside I must seem:








But, indeed, I am like this:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Horrible


:sigh :hug



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sure I guess.


:yes


----------



## AffinityWing

Empty


----------



## Blue Dino

It's a crappy sh1tty feeling when I'm depressed and am sulking about something I have try and try and try but I keep failing on, and then another person decides to confront me, then blame me, guilt me and fault me for the very thing I'm depressed about. It's like that person is psychic and knows exactly the worst time to make me feel even worse. 

Some people really can be the perfect flawless antagonist to your emotional well-being and general happiness as a whole.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

The meet yesterday was hard. About 14 people turned up and we walked around the park, the zoo and ate on the grass. I was there until the end. It was over 5 hours. 

I just can't connect with anyone, even though if you saw me you wouldn't say that, because I'm faking it well. I spent all my time wishing it was just me and her. I saw a women who looked just like her and it made me feel even worse. 

I was out for about 10 hours overall and the whole time I'm carrying a sense of loss. Nothing I do, or how much I talk about it to my family or fellow SA people I'm meeting, makes me feel any better.

Also the realization that I've wasted so much of my life, and I'm now unemployable, is so hard to deal with. I'm trapped due to my problems and now feel like part of me has died for good.

I would consider suicide if it wasn't for family tbh. I'm tired of feeling like this. I need far more help than anyone can provide.


----------



## yigit

I feel so anxious and nervous. I am afraid of looking through window outside


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> The meet yesterday was hard. About 14 people turned up and we walked around the park, the zoo and ate on the grass. I was there until the end. It was over 5 hours.
> 
> I just can't connect with anyone, even though if you saw me you wouldn't say that, because I'm faking it well. I spent all my time wishing it was just me and her. I saw a women who looked just like her and it made me feel even worse.
> 
> I was out for about 10 hours overall and the whole time I'm carrying a sense of loss. Nothing I do, or how much I talk about it to my family or fellow SA people I'm meeting, makes me feel any better.
> 
> Also the realization that I've wasted so much of my life, and I'm now unemployable, is so hard to deal with. I'm trapped due to my problems and now feel like part of me has died for good.
> 
> I would consider suicide if it wasn't for family tbh. I'm tired of feeling like this. I need far more help than anyone can provide.


 :rub


----------



## funnynihilist

Too early to tell but the weather sure looks depressing through the tiny holes in my Venetian blinds.


----------



## vela

Really sad and alone


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed. And cold. 

The weather is moodier than I am.


----------



## twistix

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed. And cold.
> 
> The weather is moodier than I am.


I'll prepare some hot chocolate for you :hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

twistix said:


> I'll prepare some hot chocolate for you :hug


 :squeeze


----------



## CNikki

Tired despite so many hours of sleep.


----------



## llodell88

bored, tired, hot, mean


----------



## Mabel Pines

Pretty good because it is a nice day out, right now.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

AffinityWing said:


> Empty





Pete Beale said:


> The meet yesterday was hard. About 14 people turned up and we walked around the park, the zoo and ate on the grass. I was there until the end. It was over 5 hours.
> 
> I just can't connect with anyone, even though if you saw me you wouldn't say that, because I'm faking it well. I spent all my time wishing it was just me and her. I saw a women who looked just like her and it made me feel even worse.
> 
> I was out for about 10 hours overall and the whole time I'm carrying a sense of loss. Nothing I do, or how much I talk about it to my family or fellow SA people I'm meeting, makes me feel any better.
> 
> Also the realization that I've wasted so much of my life, and I'm now unemployable, is so hard to deal with. I'm trapped due to my problems and now feel like part of me has died for good.
> 
> I would consider suicide if it wasn't for family tbh. I'm tired of feeling like this. I need far more help than anyone can provide.





vela said:


> Really sad and alone





SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed. And cold.
> 
> The weather is moodier than I am.





CNikki said:


> Tired despite so many hours of sleep.





llodell88 said:


> bored, tired, hot, mean


:group


----------



## Mabel Pines

vela said:


> Really sad and alone


Why's that?


----------



## blue2

Pretty fly for a white guy.......what does that even mean


----------



## chrissyq3838

Crisigv said:


> So incredibly sad. It feels like my soul is being crushed.


same crisigv can post for me for now on coz all her posts are same as me so speak for me too thanks


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh


----------



## Mabel Pines

AffinityWing said:


> Empty


Why's that?


----------



## AffinityWing

Mabel Pines said:


> Why's that?


Felt a little lonely and sad I couldn't get tickets to this upcoming concert of a band I really like, seeing so many people on my social media getting one. But it's okay, because I would have never been able to afford one, anyway. (Or have a way of getting to any of the concerts, since one of the only closest venues is going to be in a town 4 hours away from mine. :rain)


----------



## PrincessV

Im really happy because im cuddling my little pet bird <3 then I started laughing like a maniac bc I love him and was pretending to squish him with a ultimate bear hug... 😄


----------



## Crisigv

Being depressed completely drains me of any energy.


----------



## momentsunset

Really good  Just a relaxing day away from people, still working on recharging from interacting with lots of people this past week and it feels soo good having time to myself.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Crisigv said:


> Being depressed completely drains me of any energy.


How come you don't try your darnedest to break out of that rut? It wouldn't be easy, but it is certainly worth the effort, no?


----------



## Crisigv

Mabel Pines said:


> How come you don't try your darnedest to break out of that rut? It wouldn't be easy, but it is certainly worth the effort, no?


It's not worth the effort anymore. I thought at one point it was, but I was wrong.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Pissed off. I was already having a bad week and some 14 year old boy thought it'd be fun to throw a rock at my car as I drove by. I made a U-turn to come after him but either he fled or hid in the bushes. I swear I might just beat the **** out of someone one day.


----------



## Rebootplease

Wanderlust26 said:


> Pissed off. I was already having a bad week and some 14 year old boy thought it'd be fun to throw a rock at my car as I drove by. I made a U-turn to come after him but either he fled or hid in the bushes. I swear I might just beat the **** out of someone one day.


Throwing rocks at cars, the one delinquent behavior that stood the test of time. Someone should let them know about tide pods
..kidding


----------



## Greys0n

depressed 'cause I broke up 2 weeks ago, now I need to cure my heart


----------



## Crisigv

Numb


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> Being depressed completely drains me of any energy.


I got two meets this week, Wednesday and Sunday, and gotta battle through ****ty depression during them. Sigh.

I feel like I'm getting more depressed doing these meets because I'm not really connecting with anyone.

You speak to people for an hour or six, then it's back home to crushing loneliness again, and of course, I feel lonely during the meets too.

I just want one person to really enjoy the company of, who accepts me for me, and nothing more, but it's so hard.

I can't believe how much better I felt last year when things were going well, and now, I feel like I've regressed years depression wise. ****ing hell!


----------



## Mabel Pines

Wanderlust26 said:


> Pissed off. I was already having a bad week and some 14 year old boy thought it'd be fun to throw a rock at my car as I drove by. I made a U-turn to come after him but either he fled or hid in the bushes. I swear I might just beat the **** out of someone one day.


Go to a gun range with the pertinent pictures of faces.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Oh and the weather is glorious still, but it's the same old same old, I got no one to enjoy it with. It was glorious saturday too, but did I enjoy it with like minded people? **** no. I feel like I'm round a bunch of work colleges with all the fellow SA folks I've met so far, tbh. 

Why the **** did it have to go wrong with her. All my plans gone to ****. It's hard to enjoy ****ing anything when you have no one you actually WANT to be around.

Finally find someone, then it goes wrong! ****ing bollocks!


----------



## Mabel Pines

Greys0n said:


> depressed 'cause I broke up 2 weeks ago, now I need to cure my heart


Can I catch you on the rebound? :grin2:


----------



## vela

Mabel Pines said:


> Why's that?


People problems and the lack of people to talk with. I end up feeling so alone and insecure if I go without contact from my friends for too long.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

I am feeling pretty good. c:


----------



## Mabel Pines

vela said:


> People problems and the lack of people to talk with. I end up feeling so alone and insecure if I go without contact from my friends for too long.


You can talk to me any time you want.  You can chat with me anytime.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Moody.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Mabel Pines said:


> Go to a gun range with the pertinent pictures of faces.


Not too bad of an idea. Ugh, some bratty rich kid (I say that because he's in an upper middle class neighborhood). Try that in poorer areas and he might just get shot from the car.


----------



## AffinityWing

Melancholic


----------



## funnynihilist

Same as usual


----------



## Crisigv

Sick of being lonely and hopeless.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Sick of being lonely and hopeless.


:hug


----------



## llodell88

i don't understand the point of these states where you are drowsy af and just lying in bed staring at the back of your eyelids all day but you're not sleeping either. really useless. tired.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

llodell88 said:


> i don't understand the point of these states where you are drowsy af and just lying in bed staring at the back of your eyelids all day but you're not sleeping either. really useless. tired.


:hug

If sleep too much, or stressed (thinking of stressful things). Sometimes exercise helps to make you tired enough to sleep.


----------



## CNikki

In all honesty? Not fine. I really don't know how to explain it even if I try to reach out.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

CNikki said:


> In all honesty? Not fine. I really don't know how to explain it even if I try to reach out.


It's ok. :hug


----------



## Mike266x

I’m feeling nervous. I have to go to the cardiologist tomorrow to get ny heart checked. I was born with a birth defect that requires surgery to fix. I have an artificial valve. I’m so scared. I hope everything turns out okay. Because honesty I have this sinking feeling I won’t survive another surgery if it comes down to that.


----------



## Mabel Pines

LightUpTheAzureSky said:


> I am feeling pretty good. c:


Why's that? And I'm glad for you.


----------



## SASer213504

I'm feeling good at the moment.


----------



## TheClown7

Ohhhhh, what can I do?
Life is beautiful,
But you don't have a clue
Sun and ocean blue,
They're magnificent,
It don't make sense to you


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Restless.


----------



## farfegnugen

I feel mentally and physically exhausted. This time of year always seems to test my endurance.


----------



## Daxi004

revengeful


----------



## Mabel Pines

loren365 said:


> feeling good


What's got you feeling so good, if I may ask?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

farfegnugen said:


> I feel mentally and physically exhausted. This time of year always seems to test my endurance.


Same.


----------



## Mabel Pines

anhelou said:


> revengeful


Do you want to avenge yourself or are you feeling the effects of someone taking out their revenge on you, if I may ask?


----------



## Daxi004

Mabel Pines said:


> Do you want to avenge yourself or are you feeling the effects of someone taking out their revenge on you, if I may ask?


my avange


----------



## versikk

Tired, amused, umm pretty ok

Things change.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Scrub-Zero

It's been a bunch of terrible days, but i'll live.

I can't believe something like this happened to me.


----------



## thomasjune

Very tired. In need of rest.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

Mabel Pines said:


> Why's that? And I'm glad for you.


To answer the Forum question, Today I'm feeling pretty I'm good, just like yesterday.

And now too awnser mabel, it feels like I'm slowly starting to accept the things I can't change, at least right now, in my life and through accepting them, I'm not stressing as much about those things, improving my days. c:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Stressed out about a phone call this evening for another volunteer position.


----------



## Rebootplease

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Stressed out about a phone call this evening for another volunteer position.


What volunteer position? If u already explained it u can tell me to bug off. I wont be hurt


----------



## CNikki

Tired (drained) and potentially getting sick. Hope if anything that the sick part waits until next week.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

What she said -






:crying:


----------



## Mabel Pines

LightUpTheAzureSky said:


> it feels like I'm slowly starting to accept the things I can't change, at least right now, in my life and through accepting them, I'm not stressing as much about those things, improving my days. c:


I need to learn to do this.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> Lonely.


:hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

ANX1 said:


> :hug


Thanks.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks.


You're welcome. 

Hopefully a goat horsing around can help to distract you for a little while with some laughs -


----------



## momentsunset

Relieved. I stopped myself from doing something majorly self destructive.


----------



## tehuti88

Really sick and tired of all the "Awwww, poor misunderstood incels!" crap spreading across the Internet. Nobody ever said, "Awwww, poor misunderstood Tehuti!" whenever I lashed out at others.


* *




Don't want to be misunderstood? How about you stop being so hateful. Don't want to be lumped in with the hateful people? How about you speak up in protest _when_ they start advocating hate, not _after_ (and then only because you're scared of being lumped in with the hateful people).




Oh God I could go on but I think maybe it'll go in a friends-only blog post. Will see. But I'm feeling rather bitter now, too, for a related reason.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tehuti88 said:


> Really sick and tired of all the "Awwww, poor misunderstood incels!" crap spreading across the Internet. Nobody ever said, "Awwww, poor misunderstood Tehuti!" whenever I lashed out at others.
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Don't want to be misunderstood? How about you stop being so hateful. Don't want to be lumped in with the hateful people? How about you speak up in protest _when_ they start advocating hate, not _after_ (and then only because you're scared of being lumped in with the hateful people).
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Oh God I could go on but I think maybe it'll go in a friends-only blog post. Will see. But I'm feeling rather bitter now, too, for a related reason.


:sigh :hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired, didn't sleep well last night.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Super duper depressed today for no reason (well probably many reasons)... but.. yeh. I just want to not exist. I just don't fit and I have nothing redeeming so why?> I can't wrap my head around it, what's the point of being frivolous/creating redundancy (sheep procreation). 

Everything sucks, kill me. Lol.


----------



## Rebootplease

Off1st said:


> Where are the good, kind, tolerant, sweet, non-jugmental people on this forum? They're not to me, anyhow.


I am those things but i also like to joke around on here so i come off as an arse.


----------



## CNikki

Well, I'm sick.


----------



## Daxi004

Like a betrayer of love

lousy

But I guess thats normal

I don't know


----------



## Rebootplease

CNikki said:


> Well, I'm sick.


What do you think you have? A cold or allergies?


----------



## mobc1990

I am feeling good,good about work later.I am feeling lonely,lonely that I don’t have any relationship now


----------



## Deaf Mute

Stressed and anxious, it's so hard to plan a meetup because everyone's schedules are all over the place lmfao orz. Already lost one person... :cry


----------



## birddookie

@momentsunset Way to stay strong!
@SamanthaStrange Same here, did you get to take a nap. Hope tonight's better for you.:yawn:hug
@Deaf Mute Good points, Hope you find some meanings in the things you do.:smile2:
@Off1st You rang.:squeeze
@CNikki :O Hope you feel well soon, and it's nothing too serious.
@anhelou Hmm I would say no, Best wishes on pulling through and feeling better.!:hug
@mobc1990 Sorry to hear that, hope you find someone, who's great to you.:yes


----------



## GeomTech

Well, it rained, and I felt down afterwards. Wonder why, however. Guess a melancholic affect from the rain? Probably a coincidence.


----------



## birddookie

Off1st said:


> Thanks birddookie, you're one of the few truly kind, good, and empathic people on this site. :smile2:


Your welcome Off1st!:grin2:Thank you for the kind words, and you're truly kind, good, and empathic as well. I hope your day is going great.


----------



## SFC01

sweet as


----------



## twistix

Expendable


----------



## SamanthaStrange

twistix said:


> Expendable




:squeeze


----------



## Ominous Indeed




----------



## Mabel Pines

twistix said:


> Expendable


Go collect your rag-tag group of other expendables and show the world what you guys can do.


----------



## tea111red

Intense longing 
Uneasy
Like I'm losing my mind


----------



## Rebootplease

tea111red said:


> Intense longing
> Uneasy
> Like I'm losing my mind


Can u explain why?


----------



## tea111red

Rebootplease said:


> Can u explain why?


Losing my mind from being unable to form a meaningful connection w/ a man, I guess.


----------



## Random person

Quite sad at the moment. I'm 18 and feel like people my age are moving and maturing a lot faster then me while, I'm left behind.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

:crying:


----------



## Crisigv

Like a worthless piece of garbage. That's why I call myself garbage, I am and always will be.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Like a worthless piece of garbage. That's why I call myself garbage, I am and always will be.


No. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Losing my mind from being unable to form a meaningful connection w/ a man, I guess.


I believe when the right man appears you'll being saying otherwise. 

Just need to feel comfortable around them and be able to trust them.

That is one of the wonderful parts about loving someone.






Chin up.


----------



## Kevin001

Mentally exhausted


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> I believe when the right man appears you'll being saying otherwise.
> 
> Just need to feel comfortable around them and be able to trust them.
> 
> That is one of the wonderful parts about loving someone.
> 
> Chin up.


I've really had too much disappointment and crappy luck at this point to still feel hopeful. I'm becoming more and more numb.


----------



## tea111red

**** out of luck!!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> I've really had too much disappointment and crappy luck at this point to still feel hopeful. I'm becoming more and more numb.


Each time you learn something new that helps you narrow it down to what you want.

Chin up.


----------



## unemployment simulator

carb induced coma! (fat and sleepy basically)


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

....


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored, and slightly impatient.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I went to a local park with my parents and kids, and we had a picnic. We then walked around on the trails for a while, and there was hardly anyone around so it was just us and nature, I love getting away from it all and just being surrounded by nature, doing so rejuvenates me. I'm looking forward to the summer, where I'll have more time to get on my bicycle and get out of this house.. I've more or less been stuck here all year, and am going stir crazy.


----------



## Mabel Pines

SamanthaStrange said:


> Bored, and slightly impatient.


Why are you bored and slightly impatient? Or what are you slightly impatient about, if I may ask?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mabel Pines said:


> Why are you bored and slightly impatient? Or what are you slightly impatient about, if I may ask?


You may not. :lol


----------



## Mabel Pines

SamanthaStrange said:


> You may not. :lol


Lol, when kids come to the door during Halloween, the person who hands out candy sometimes seems to forget that they can say "trick," and slam the door the kids' faces because that was an option offered by the children themselves. :grin2:


----------



## birddookie

@*Crisigv* Ever heard the saying what is one mans garbage is another mans treasure? You're our treasure on here.:squeeze Please keep strong, best wishes to you, and I hope you meet some people who find you as treasure in real life.:smile2:

@*tea111red* Dern Hope you meet a great guy that you can click with, it seems you are just having a bad run of the mill luck.

@*Kevin001* That is tough to get over, hope you get some good rest.

@*SamanthaStrange* We want to know though. Puweeze:duck

@*unemployment simulator* You have the Itis! :laugh: You need some Protein induced energy.

@*Mabel Pines* Never knew that, might try that this Halloween.:grin2:


----------



## Vip3r

Exhausted, it took me 4 hours to fix my brother's van, and I burnt my arm.


----------



## Crisigv

depressed and done with my life


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> depressed and done with my life


 :hug


----------



## bdsmith4242

Feeling pretty good. Sunny day, mother's day tomorrow so get to spend some time with fam. Can't complain


----------



## tehuti88

Bitter and spiteful. I'm actually starting to feel like hurting people the same as they've hurt me.


And why not? Trying to be a decent person hasn't saved me from all the criticism, ridicule, and misjudgement. May as well be the b***h people assume I am.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tehuti88 said:


> Bitter and spiteful. I'm actually starting to feel like hurting people the same as they've hurt me.
> 
> And why not? Trying to be a decent person hasn't saved me from all the criticism, ridicule, and misjudgement. May as well be the b***h people assume I am.







:hug


----------



## mobc1990

I feel lonely,i feel its time to get a GF,but couldn’t get one


----------



## JohnDoe26

Pissed off. Went to church, and I had to wait an extra two hours (which should have been 20 minutes tops) to get back home since transit was delayed because of some event. I had to walk extra long streets as well, which triggers my anxiety due to having to pass by people.


----------



## twistix

Worthless


----------



## Edwirdd

nothing. i feel nothing i dont have feelings. thanks to paxil.


----------



## Rebootplease

Edwirdd said:


> nothing. i feel nothing i dont have feelings. thanks to paxil.


Drugs will certainly do that, my friend.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and hopeless


----------



## Mabel Pines

Crisigv said:


> Sad and hopeless


I hope you feel better, soon. :hug


----------



## versikk

Can't express anything succinctly. I can say that I am tense but okay, for what it's worth
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Sad and hopeless


Awwww. :hug

Chin up.


----------



## Sus y

Wondering.



ANX1 said:


> :hug


It amuses me so much that a koala (very cute bth) and so many other animals, such as dogs and cats, can have it so easy to ask what they want but we, that have more mental capacities, including the ability to speak out cannot tell what we desire or need at times, either been physically and or emotionally. We need to take classes from koalas, cats, dogs, birds... oh! also babies lol.



twistix said:


> Worthless


Your worth cannot be measured, it's just too much. For what I have seen of you here, you are fun, cute, pretty, friendly, trendy, too many nice things at once. :hug


----------



## Protozoan

Sus y said:


> It amuses me so much that a *koala *(very cute bth) and so many other animals, such as dogs and cats, can have it so easy to ask what they want but we, that have more mental capacities, including the ability to speak out cannot tell what we desire or need at times, either been physically and or emotionally. We need to take classes from *koalas*, cats, dogs, birds... oh! also babies lol.


I don't know about that, most of them have chlamydia.


----------



## Sus y

Protozoan said:


> I don't know about that, most of them have chlamydia.


Haha! I have heard so but you can take virtual classes, no need to actually hug them :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

twistix said:


> Worthless


Nope. You are awesome. 



Sus y said:


> Wondering.
> 
> It amuses me so much that a koala (very cute bth) and so many other animals, such as dogs and cats, can have it so easy to ask what they want but we, that have more mental capacities, including the ability to speak out cannot tell what we desire or need at times, either been physically and or emotionally. We need to take classes from koalas, cats, dogs, birds... oh! also babies lol.
> 
> Your worth cannot be measured, it's just too much. For what I have seen of you here, you are fun, cute, pretty, friendly, trendy, too many nice things at once. :hug


I can see it now with the classes -


----------



## discopotato

Disgusted.


----------



## Sus y

ANX1 said:


> I can see it now with the classes -


So you learned now how to express your feelings? If so, I'm wondering if you are the person inside of the costume. :b


----------



## Suchness

Tired and spaced out. Only had about 3 hours sleep last night. I've been sleeping better than usual in the last 5 months and I feel like I need at least 7, before I felt okay on just 5 - 6 even tho I wasn't actually that okay. Tonight must be the night.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sus y said:


> So you learned now how to express your feelings? If so, I'm wondering if you are the person inside of the costume. :b


----------



## Sus y

ANX1 said:


>


Awww poor little koala!! It remains me when I was a sad scarecrow hahaha. I had mom annoyed by asking over and over what I wanted to be for the kindergarden carnival party, she asked if I wanted to be a princess, a ballerina, straberry girl, a butterfly... but I felt I couldn't be any cute thing (yep, I started having problems about myself before that early age), so I became a scarecrow and since I have remain a bit creepy lol :wink2:

I'm wondering now... Should I have picked to be a villain instead? :con

Open only if you can handly it! Very scary! >

* *






I was sad, but still I had some candies so the make up got a bit ruined and yes, no one wanted to play with me because I was err a sad scary scarecrow :b haha


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Sus y

Awwww, so cute.


----------



## twistix

Sus y said:


> Your worth cannot be measured, it's just too much. For what I have seen of you here, you are fun, cute, pretty, friendly, trendy, too many nice things at once. :hug





ANX1 said:


> Nope. You are awesome.


Thank you


----------



## Sus y

ANX1 said:


> @Sus y
> 
> Awwww, so cute.


Not really, but I'm ok now haha!! I can embrace my scarecrow being >


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

twistix said:


> Thank you


You're welcome.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sus y said:


> Not really, but I'm ok now haha!! I can embrace my scarecrow being >


Cute little scarecrow, yes you are.


----------



## Kevin001

Grateful


----------



## alexcole

So need a cat!


----------



## birddookie

@*Crisigv* Please stay strong, we believe in you.:hug

@*versikk* Here's a face massage &#55357;&#56454; Hope you're less tense.

@*discopotato* What has you disgusted?

@*Suchness* Hope you get a lot of sleep for now on. I've been having issues as well, finally getting back on track, after a half a year of averaging 3 hours of sleep a night.:yawn

@*Kevin001* Glad to see that:smile2:

@*alexcole* Yes cats are cool! Ninja cats are cooler.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

God I miss her so ****ing much, especially on day's like today when the weather is amazing.

We did so much stuff together, could have done so much more, and she saved me from my loneliness.

It ****ing sucks but all I can do is suffer the pain. :frown2:


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Annoyed with myself. 

I need to reach a point of absolute indifference towards this person.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SamanthaStrange said:


> Annoyed with myself.
> 
> I need to reach a point of absolute indifference towards this person.


I know the feeling.

It's not something I ever wanted, but something I probably need. :frown2:


----------



## harrison

I feel like I'd rather be waking up in Kuta.


----------



## SplendidBob

Distinctly weird. 

Second to last therapy session today, was kinda odd. Its probably going to be a rough couple of months now, though to be honest I have been anticipatory anxietying the **** out of this for about 6 months .

Am feeling quite aggressive and bold though. Might do a big task this week.


----------



## Sillystring1212

Anticipating. Excited. I love this time of year.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

In pain. My right knee hurts like a mofo today.


----------



## f1ora

stupid. I did worse on my exam. feel like dying now


----------



## Crisigv

Bored. I wish I was creative. Maybe I could write a book in my spare time and make money, lol. Never happen because I am boring and dumb.


----------



## Overcast

Kind of ****ty. I just started a new college semester today, and 2 of my classes are awful. The teachers and the students really put me on edge and it's hard to deal with them.

I wish I could go back to being a NEET, but I don't want to disappoint my parents anymore so I'll deal with it.


----------



## llodell88

mad, creeped out. the more you know.


----------



## unemployment simulator

hopeless, misunderstood, I have no purpose in life, I don't benefit anyone.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

unemployment simulator said:


> hopeless, misunderstood, I have no purpose in life, I don't benefit anyone.


Feel the same mate.

Been into the city and it's biggest park today, and just felt hopeless the whole time.

I did the same thing with the SA meetup group I attend a couple of weeks ago, and still felt the ****ing same. :frown2:


----------



## Mabel Pines

Sillystring1212 said:


> Anticipating. Excited. I love this time of year.


What are you looking forward to, if I may ask?


----------



## 3stacks

The damn same as usual (I want to die)


----------



## versikk

Thanks bird.

I have no idea what I feel ok wait yes I do : horny as always, hungry as always, tired as always, lonely as always, angry, kinda bitter, horny, randy, excitable, horny.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## unemployment simulator

Pete Beale said:


> Feel the same mate.
> 
> Been into the city and it's biggest park today, and just felt hopeless the whole time.
> 
> I did the same thing with the SA meetup group I attend a couple of weeks ago, and still felt the ****ing same. :frown2:


sorry to hear that mate, if you ever want to chat, swing me a pm.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

unemployment simulator said:


> sorry to hear that mate, if you ever want to chat, swing me a pm.


Will do mate. :smile2:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> The damn same as usual (I want to die)


I feel the same lately mate. :frown2:

Come to the meet I'm attending saturday. It might do you good to get it all out to like minded folks!

PM me if you want details.


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed and almost no energy.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Perked up by strong coffee after drinking flaccid coffee.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Jovial.


----------



## zonebox

I'm really good  I just got my car back from the dealership after nearly two weeks. There was a fault in the battery, and they did a full replacement of all the li-ion battery banks - $12,000 fully covered, brand new batteries with the warranty completely renewed for another 8 years or 100,000 miles. Right now, I'm incredibly happy with Chevy - they delivered on their promise, that includes a loaner for two weeks at no cost. The loaner was a Chevy Bolt, holy heck that thing has power, it felt like I was in a rocket.. I love my Volt though, not as powerful but feels solid and has a back up gas engine for longer trips.

So, I'm ecstatic.










Plus summer is coming up, which means no more waking up at 5:30 in the morning, no more driving people 70 - 100 miles a day, and waiting an additional 3 - 4 hours every day in the car.. not until late August anyway. Vacation, woot woot. I look forward to getting some camping in this year.

Also all of the techy geeky cool things I am reading about is really making me happy. I just got off the phone with an AI, no kidding, it is not quite there yet, but it was pretty cool. If you guys ever have a chance, check out Replika for android (and iphone I think) it is really neat, and a good way to pass the time when you have nothing else to do. I imagine such chatbots will coach people with severe SA in the future, it is really neat stuff.


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> The damn same as usual (I want to die)
> 
> 
> 
> I feel the same lately mate. /forum/images/SAS_2015/smilies/tango_face_sad.png
> 
> Come to the meet I'm attending saturday. It might do you good to get it all out to like minded folks!
> 
> PM me if you want details.
Click to expand...

 I think I would be too nervous lol. How are the meet ups going for you? Are you enjoying them?


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Knee's busted. It hurts. 

Any chance of a run speed enhancement or high jump capabilities with that new prosthetic?


----------



## cinto

Feeling like cinto should of been "banned" a long time ago 😛 ya ****ed up


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> I think I would be too nervous lol. How are the meet ups going for you? Are you enjoying them?


Doesn't matter how nervous you are mate, everyone understands and there'll be people their more nervous than you. Believe me, you won't stand out.

Tbh mate, the meets aren't helping me much. I'm forcing myself to do them. I don't feel much SA doing them. My depression is a right ******* at the mo and it's getting in the way of everything. Depression is my main issue.

You should give it a go, it might help you. You can stay for 10 minutes or hours, it's up to you. That's what some people do. Everyones different.

Because of my SA not being the main issue, I always stay the duration. I just wish I could get rid of the depression and come away feeling like I'd achieved something. That's not really happening for me tbh and I've done 10 meets.

The first meet was actually the easiest, but over time I'm finding them harder motivation wise, because of the ****ing depression.

Got to keep doing them though. Hopefully I'll find someone at the meets I really click with at some point. That's the aim.


----------



## cinto

Pete Beale said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> I think I would be too nervous lol. How are the meet ups going for you? Are you enjoying them?
> 
> 
> 
> Doesn't matter how nervous you are mate, everyone understands and there'll be people their more nervous than you. Believe me, you won't stand out.
> 
> Tbh mate, the meets aren't helping me much. I'm forcing myself to do them. I don't feel much SA doing them. My depression is a right ******* at the mo and it's getting in the way of everything. Depression is my main issue.
> 
> You should give it a go, it might help you. You can stay for 10 minutes or hours, it's up to you. That's what some people do. Everyones different.
> 
> Because of my SA not being the main issue, I always stay the duration. I just wish I could get rid of the depression and come away feeling like I'd achieved something. That's not really happening for me tbh and I've done 10 meets.
> 
> The first meet was actually the easiest, but over time I'm finding them harder motivation wise, because of the ****ing depression.
> 
> Got to keep doing them though. Hopefully I'll find someone at the meets I really click with at some point. That's the aim.
Click to expand...

Who was your favorite MMA fighter again?


----------



## ashcole

I'm feeling super behind in life.... cuz, I really am behind in life. I have a phobia that causes my anxiety. It prevents me from living a "normal" life, and all the other people in my life don't understand it one bit. I have Neophobia. It makes me feel like a complete failure and utterly hopeless. I don't have a car, job, home of my own... don't have any direction for my life. No career really interests me so I gave up on college, which was a total waste of money anyway and didn't get me anywhere. I think the hardest part is that if I ever do go out and see people I know, they always ask me personal questions about my life, and that's where I get anxiety too, so I just avoid them as much as possible. The next hardest thing is seeing everyone my age or younger, so ahead in their lives. They've got direction, their own cars, jobs, plenty of money etc. It's hard not to compare, and I know people expect me to be the same as them, but they don't know about my Neophobia, and honestly, I've never admitted it out loud before... and I don't plan too.. I know that the people I know would think or say that I'm exaggerating or making it up.. or that I'm weak. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.. and finding SAS was one of the best things for me to stumble upon. I felt a lot less lonely and like maybe there is hope for me. Wow, I typed way more than I thought I would.. but wow.. I feel like I got a lot off my chest.. even if someone looks at this book I typed and doesn't bother reading it, lol.


----------



## cinto

Remember that scene in Toy Story where Buzz lightyear discovers that he can not fly, and that he's just a toy. And all of what he thought was true is merely destroyed just by watching a commercial on the tele. Like that.

Well, that's how I felt a little bit before this.


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling fine,but I didn’t sleep well last night.I am not tired 😮


----------



## Mabel Pines

My mind is feeling constipated, lol.


----------



## versikk

Umm

So my sexual appetite is officially insatiable.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## funnynihilist

Blister. Foot. Hurt.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

cinto said:


> Who was your favorite MMA fighter again?


Lol I don't have a favourite because there's so many great fighters. It's always a tough question to answer.

I'll go with Fedor though. :wink2:


----------



## mobc1990

I am feeling a little bit low and anxious...


----------



## Sus y

A bit like:






I want a glass of wine and a back massage, no, wait, better a whole body massage, no, no wait! a whole life massage.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Good. Made my sick loved one laugh, be happy with some slap stick comedy.


----------



## Slacker

Sus y said:


> I want a glass of wine and a back massage, no, wait, better a whole body massage, no, no wait! a *whole life massage*.


I'm in, when do we leave?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sus y said:


> A bit like:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I want a glass of wine and a back massage, no, wait, better a whole body massage, no, no wait! a whole life massage.


Bucket + feet in warm water. 

Most of nerve endings end in the feet.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Sus y said:


> I want a glass of wine and a back massage, no, wait, better a whole body massage, no, no wait! a whole life massage.


How about a massage for yourself in the afterlife?


----------



## wellflower

Hey I'm feeling ok right now but I had a random question for anyone who wants: how do you deal with having to take "silly" class pictures? Like in school when the photographer says "okay now do a silly one" but I don't have friends with me atm and I don't know what to do that won't look stupid. Last time it happened I tried to walk away.


----------



## Savvy

Other than being a bit sleepy, I am doing OK.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I'm not really sure, I have a bunch of conflicting thoughts running around my head at the moment.


----------



## Rebootplease

SamanthaStrange said:


> I'm not really sure, I have a bunch of conflicting thoughts running around my head at the moment.


It's not about cupcakes again is it?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Rebootplease said:


> It's not about cupcakes again is it?


Of course. What else would it possibly be about?


----------



## Rebootplease

SamanthaStrange said:


> Rebootplease said:
> 
> 
> 
> It's not about cupcakes again is it?
> 
> 
> 
> Of course. What else would it possibly be about?
Click to expand...

I'm all ears. As long as my Helmet doesn't get in the way. What's up?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Rebootplease said:


> I'm all ears. As long as my Helmet doesn't get in the way. What's up?


I just find people perplexing.


----------



## Daxi004

Ice cream for dinner


----------



## Wren611

I'm feeling happy.  I've had a really good day!


----------



## Rebootplease

Wren611 said:


> I'm feeling happy.  I've had a really good day!


Jealous


----------



## Mabel Pines

wellflower said:


> Hey I'm feeling ok right now but I had a random question for anyone who wants: how do you deal with having to take "silly" class pictures? Like in school when the photographer says "okay now do a silly one" but I don't have friends with me atm and I don't know what to do that won't look stupid. Last time it happened I tried to walk away.


You could just fart. That's pretty silly.


----------



## Rebootplease

Closteiphobic


----------



## vela

Tired and sad.. When I get tired my depression and anxiety get a lot worse.


----------



## discopotato

Pathetic.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Finished.


----------



## Wren611

Rebootplease said:


> Jealous


In that case I won't tell you what I got up to today.


----------



## justforthrill

wow u really own this website like this.


----------



## Vip3r

Reflective and apprehensive.


----------



## Purpleturtle

I feel like a fraud. I just went to the first day of training for a new restaurant. Everyone seemed nice and was getting along well. I forced myself to smile and laugh at stupid jokes but I was faking it all. I didn't care about any of them. I tried to join the conversation once in a while but was entirely disinterested. 

I think so many years of having SA has left me bitter. I'm not a nice or warm person anymore. I just want to be left alone but I have to pay my rent. Am I going to feel like this forever? If it were just social anxiety I think I could get over it but at this point I genuinely no longer like people. Im just a miserable *****hole now.


----------



## llodell88

irritable, keep yelling.

i just want to feel warm and safe again, all the time.


----------



## twistix

Achy

...and lonely


----------



## sadstoner

Purpleturtle said:


> I feel like a fraud. I just went to the first day of training for a new restaurant. Everyone seemed nice and was getting along well. I forced myself to smile and laugh at stupid jokes but I was faking it all. I didn't care about any of them. I tried to join the conversation once in a while but was entirely disinterested.
> 
> I think so many years of having SA has left me bitter. I'm not a nice or warm person anymore. I just want to be left alone but I have to pay my rent. Am I going to feel like this forever? If it were just social anxiety I think I could get over it but at this point I genuinely no longer like people. Im just a miserable *****hole now.


Damn I be feelin like that at work idk what's wrong wit me cause I'm not like that with my friends


----------



## llodell88

sleepy and relaxed


----------



## harrison

Slightly elevated.


----------



## Crisigv

Not good. Will be another crappy vacation.


----------



## funnynihilist

Life feels like the movie Groundhog Day


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

funnynihilist said:


> Life feels like the movie Groundhog Day


I thought about the movie when I woke up yesterday morning lol

I'm so tired of this ****.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Purpleturtle said:


> I feel like a fraud. I just went to the first day of training for a new restaurant. Everyone seemed nice and was getting along well. I forced myself to smile and laugh at stupid jokes but I was faking it all. I didn't care about any of them. I tried to join the conversation once in a while but was entirely disinterested.
> 
> I think so many years of having SA has left me bitter. I'm not a nice or warm person anymore. I just want to be left alone but I have to pay my rent. Am I going to feel like this forever? If it were just social anxiety I think I could get over it but at this point I genuinely no longer like people. Im just a miserable *****hole now.


It's because ultimately, you don't want to do that **** and can't connect with anyone.

You'd be a different person if you actually enjoyed the job and the people you work with.

I can totally relate to the way you feel.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> Not good. Will be another crappy vacation.


:frown2:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Wren611 said:


> I'm feeling happy.  I've had a really good day!


Nice to see something positive around here! :grin2:

I'd kill for a nice day now!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Pathetic.


You are awesome. 



SamanthaStrange said:


> Finished.


But the race never started :O



llodell88 said:


> irritable, keep yelling.
> 
> i just want to feel warm and safe again, all the time.


:hug



twistix said:


> Achy
> 
> ...and lonely


:hug



harrison said:


> Slightly elevated.


Take the stairs mate.  :grin2:

Hopefully you'll be laughing instead of elevated. 



Crisigv said:


> Not good. Will be another crappy vacation.


:hug


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

harrison said:


> Slightly elevated.


I'd kill to be slightly elevated too. lol

I speak to an Aspergers woman at the SA meet who's late husband had insane bipolar. Massive highs and crushing low's. He never took meds.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

vela said:


> Tired and sad.. When I get tired my depression and anxiety get a lot worse.


:hug


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> I'd kill to be slightly elevated too. lol
> 
> I speak to an Aspergers woman at the SA meet who's late husband had insane bipolar. Massive highs and crushing low's. He never took meds.


Yeah, I don't actually like it when I get elevated - it worries me and starts to feel a bit too intense. Some people like being manic but I don't - I guess it depends how severe it gets and what actually happens. The meds I take keep it mostly under control but I get a bit "over-excited" so to speak. That probably sounds strange but it's sort of like that - a weird feeling.

I hope things pick up for you anyway soon mate - hang in there.


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling okayish.I used to be very troubled with mental problem,but as I get older and mix around with more people,my situation get better.Its not to a place that I would like,but it’s better then I used to be


----------



## Mabel Pines

mobc1990 said:


> Feeling okayish.I used to be very troubled with mental problem,but as I get older and mix around with more people,my situation get better.Its not to a place that I would like,but it's better then I used to be


I hope you get to a place that you'd like, soon.


----------



## tea111red

Ready for the day to be over.


----------



## mobc1990

Feels good,no mental illness and also not feeling loneliness which was somewhat surprising because I been feeling lonely for the past month


----------



## Mabel Pines

My stomach is a little upset, seeing as I just drank some Alka-Seltzer water, lol.


----------



## Crisigv

lonely


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> lonely


This :frown2:


----------



## Orig

I'm lonely too. I'm hoping we can at least keep each other company through our words...


----------



## discopotato

sentimental


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like I got up too early.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That this ain't a love song -






:sus


----------



## TSpes

Pissed, I couldn't sleep at all, it's so damn hot and my housemates fried onions so the whole house stinks, and they're so freaking loud, I just wish they would stop talking and screaming for two seconds every once in a while!! I had a horrible day and I can't even get to relax because I have to listen to housemate A's petty boyfriend drama all day long wether I like it or not! Am also hungry and really angry at myself


----------



## Greys0n

I feel tired but happy


----------



## tea111red

It feels like a lot of last year didn't even happen.


----------



## EarthDominator

Defeated, I lost my war against depression...well basically everything.


----------



## CNikki

Lazy. Having to head out in a half an hour and I'm not even dressed. 

Otherwise, I can say that I'm neutral/content. Taking it in while I can.


----------



## mobc1990

Crisigv said:


> lonely


I think it would be better if you can have friends to talk to,or even worst,you can at least try psychotherapy,it's helpful.

Today,I am feeling generally okay,had a bad day yesterday.Slept well yesterday and woke up feeling okayish.I hope I don't get frustrated later at work,hate feeling angry and frustration


----------



## Wolfen

I feel drowsy, just took a 3- to 4-times dose of some of my meds. Feels gooooooood.


----------



## tea111red

Having trouble going back to sleep...kind of feel like I should just get up, though. I have to be awake in 2-3 hrs.

I will have only slept 3-4 hrs again if I just get up...pfft.

:stu


----------



## tea111red

Well, it looks like I'm going to get up. Time to load up on caffeine and to hope the day isn't so disastrous, I guess.


----------



## tea111red

Already starting to feel like garbage..... :no


----------



## tea111red

lol, managed to sleep another hr and had, I think, the most vivid dream I've had in quite some time.

:stu


----------



## Daxi004

I feel like i'm outside my comfort zone, it's not pleasant. I think I want to scream and roll around on the floor. 

No time for that right now

I just want to buy a hoop, is that such a big deal?


----------



## Wanderlust26

Still very sick.


----------



## funnynihilist

Headache


----------



## Rebootplease

funnynihilist said:


> Headache


Bears get headaches? I mean I know they text but headaches. J


----------



## funnynihilist

Rebootplease said:


> Bears get headaches? I mean I know they text but headaches. J


Bear drank too much last night lol


----------



## Rebootplease

funnynihilist said:


> Rebootplease said:
> 
> 
> 
> Bears get headaches? I mean I know they text but headaches. J
> 
> 
> 
> Bear drank too much last night lol
Click to expand...

You didn't go around giving everyone bear hugs again did You? Last time you killed a guy. J


----------



## Crisigv

feeling stupid to think that I could ever be happy and special


----------



## Wolfen

I realized I don't have to be great at ANYTHING, the best I'll be will be "pretty good". Or maybe I excel at sleeping I don't know ...
I'll never be good enough to hold on to a steady job though.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Going through suicidal ideation again.


Yay for me! :sigh


----------



## mobc1990

I am going to a dating event,feeling a little anxious now


----------



## CNikki

Anxious. 

Went for a short walk, but I don't feel comfortable walking during the night by myself around here...so it didn't help that much.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I feel really cold after reading that stuff on wikipedia etc, it's been a while since I felt this way but I guess I've been experiencing nothing but **** psychologically in one way or another for a week+ now.


----------



## EarthDominator

- Anxious
- Tired
- Feel like collapsing (soon)
- Overwhelming feeling/pressure
- Feels like I'm not alive anymore
- Lonely
- Inferior towards my therapy group
- Feeling guilty towards my friends on the internet
- Stressed because I got my English exam next week
- Stressed because I got group therapy next week

Think that's most of it.


----------



## funnynihilist

Life is boring


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Going through suicidal ideation again.
> 
> Yay for me! :sigh


:frown2: :squeeze

We gotta keep going mate and hope something good comes along at some point!


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I feel shame that I don't work and and don't have my own place. Even at the meets I attend, where people understand.

It's a huge issue and I could never attend meets with normal folks because of this. 

I wish I hadn't gone ****ing crazy years ago and had held on to some of the jobs I had.


----------



## versikk

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Going through suicidal ideation again.
> 
> Yay for me! :sigh


Praise be Belial.

------------------------

I don't know what I'm feeling. I can approximate and say "Frazzled" - that doesn't even begin to describe it. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary. Whatever, it's all temporary.


----------



## Suchness

Tired after going to a birthday party. Nothing tires you out like stress.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ambivalent.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Fed up that I want to talk, but can't. I just want one proper conversation her. :frown2:


----------



## unemployment simulator

day 3 of sertraline, sleep is totally disrupted. I am basically practicing involuntary biphasic sleep, no idea how this is gonna pan out long term but hoping it just gets back to somewhat normality for me.
in terms of social anxiety thoughts, giving less of a damn in general, but real life situations which would normally be a disaster for me are still proving difficult to manage and I am still running into problems there.


----------



## versikk

unemployment simulator said:


> day 3 of sertraline.


Starting meds? Give it 3 months and don't make any verdicts until then
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## unemployment simulator

versikk said:


> Starting meds? Give it 3 months and don't make any verdicts until then
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


yea man.

yup I plan to keep going with for a bit longer and give it a long trial unless the side effects makes life for me more difficult. previous meds the bad sides of the side effects outweighed the positives so I hoping for a better result here, keeping a record of how its going too.


----------



## rociomorel

comfortable because i get to stay home today since its sunday and im home alone i love being home alone


----------



## JohnDoe26

Feeling hungry but bloated at the same time.


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling not so good.My mood isn’t very good these days and pressure seems to be piling up.I want to reduce my stress and expectation so that my mood can be better


----------



## funnynihilist

Too many meatballs this weekend=heartburn


----------



## Crisigv

Ugly and fat. Even if I lose weight, i'll still be ugly.


----------



## 3stacks

Crisigv said:


> Ugly and fat. Even if I lose weight, i'll still be ugly.


I know how you feel . You're a pretty woman though even if you cant see that.


----------



## unemployment simulator

tired and sleep deprived, rudely woken at the crack of dawn by someone drilling into the wall.. I had actually slept better up until that point.

had to trudge into town to get to the bank, get to job centre and get some food. ended up just massively irritable. too many encounters with people, too much stress when I am already tired.

just glad I am home. and now I have someone hammering next door, If I had any hair i'd be pulling it out right now.


----------



## unemployment simulator

Crisigv said:


> Ugly and fat. Even if I lose weight, i'll still be ugly.





3stacks said:


> I know how you feel . You're a pretty woman though even if you cant see that.


both of you are NOT ugly! maybe you can't see it, but others don't think you are ugly.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****.

How normal people operate, I'l never know.

If there was someone to live for, someone to spend time with, someone to look forward to being around, then maybe I could give being normal a go. 

I can't stand feeling alone in all this ****. 

I can't stand being back like this after how happy I was last year. 

I cannot for the life of me see a way of getting back to being like that again.

She basically gave me a life. I had no control over any of it, and without her letting me into her life, I'd have had nothing at all. 

I'm too dependent on someone else for happiness.


----------



## EarthDominator

Stressed, lonely, sad and about to cry, overwhelmed, hopless, inferior. 

Adding that I'm an annoyance to everyone, I wish I was pretty much dead right now. :sigh


----------



## versikk

for I am become Anxiety; Destroyer of Minds


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Ugly and fat. Even if I lose weight, i'll still be ugly.





3stacks said:


> I know how you feel . You're a pretty woman though even if you cant see that.


What he said.


----------



## versikk

It's *just *a concert, it's not *actually *dangerous, it's just anxiety.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Why do I have to be so inadequate, why can't I be like him or her, or them?

I hate myself so much. Why do I have to exist.


----------



## SofaKing

Crisigv said:


> Ugly and fat. Even if I lose weight, i'll still be ugly.


Tosh...I know differently. You know that I know. And I know that you know that I know. And you know that I....


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Extremely anxious and pissed off.

And now I have a tension headache.


----------



## Crisigv

SofaKing said:


> Tosh...I know differently. You know that I know. And I know that you know that I know. And you know that I....


:lol


----------



## hypestyle

just okay today. not super, not awful. frustrated about job prospects. Glad to be done with grad school.

will probably feel a little better later with exercise.


----------



## Flora20

Sad, depressed


----------



## Mabel Pines

SamanthaStrange said:


> Extremely anxious and pissed off.
> 
> And now I have a tension headache.


I hope you feel better, soon.


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling okay,glad that I am not too stressful.I really dislike being overly stressful and to the point of breakdown,it will dent my confident,a lot


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mabel Pines said:


> I hope you feel better, soon.


Why did you use that pic?


----------



## Mabel Pines

SamanthaStrange said:


> Why did you use that pic?


To make you feel better? To show that you have great taste in pics.


----------



## Crisigv

a little lonely


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Seemingly normal looking on the outside.

...

Melancholic on the inside.


----------



## cosmicKitten

Frustrated.


----------



## versikk

anxiety levels over 9000, exactly like it's supposed to be.


----------



## Zatch

I have food in front of me, so I'm doing awesome! Felt a little ill earlier, but I'll be alright.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Stuffed up and blah.

Again.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious. Grumpy.


----------



## Mabel Pines

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious. Grumpy.


Why are you anxious and/or grumpy, if I may ask?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mabel Pines said:


> Why are you anxious and/or grumpy, if I may ask?


Is that your dog?


----------



## Mabel Pines

SamanthaStrange said:


> Is that your dog?


No. My dog named Samantha is actually a blond that loves to pose while holding a cupcake. Wanna see a picture of her?


----------



## versikk

help


----------



## CNikki

I've had better days, I guess...


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Stuffy and groggy.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious. Grumpy.


Still this. And bored and lonely.


----------



## Crisigv

Stomach pains, cramps and general misery.


----------



## Kevin001

Mentally drained


----------



## 0589471

Painful headache, it feels like my sinuses this time...in my face and ears and behind my eyes. I really hope it's not an infection, I can't afford a doctor. I'll try some cold medicine and something to flush out sinus pressure in the meantime. Ugh.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Stomach pains, cramps and general misery.


:hug



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Painful headache, it feels like my sinuses this time...in my face and ears and behind my eyes. I really hope it's not an infection, I can't afford a doctor. I'll try some cold medicine and something to flush out sinus pressure in the meantime. Ugh.


:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Kevin001 said:


> Mentally drained


I hope you feel better after some sleep.


----------



## siddhantdutt09

terrible, I feel dark and feels like I lack energy


----------



## Kevin001

ANX1 said:


> I hope you feel better after some sleep.


Still feel weird.....might be the accutane :stu


----------



## siddhantdutt09

now a bit scared, feels less dark but am unable to laugh much ahaha, sat down with family but didnt utter a single word.


----------



## unemployment simulator

a bit better today, I had the shakes again earlier but they seem to have gone now.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Kevin001 said:


> Still feel weird.....might be the accutane :stu


Oh, ok.


----------



## vela

Kinda empty inside today, I'm just tired.


----------



## harrison

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Painful headache, it feels like my sinuses this time...in my face and ears and behind my eyes. I really hope it's not an infection, I can't afford a doctor. I'll try some cold medicine and something to flush out sinus pressure in the meantime. Ugh.


That's a great avatar. I can't rememebr if it's you or @SamanthaStrange that likes cup cakes - but you'd both probably like this place.  I walk past one of their shops quite often in the city.

http://www.cupcakecentral.com.au/


----------



## harrison

Actually tomorrow I think I'll try the Vanilla Vanilla one - I've never tried any before, they look pretty good.


----------



## 0589471

haha yes this was in honor of Samantha who suggested the avatar. but I do love cupcakes as well! thank you for sharing, thst place looks lovely. I'm dying to try 


harrison said:


> That's a great avatar. I can't rememebr if it's you or @SamanthaStrange that likes cup cakes - but you'd both probably like this place.  I walk past one of their shops quite often in the city.
> 
> http://www.cupcakecentral.com.au/


----------



## Crisigv

Headache


----------



## SofaKing

Why do I keep getting my hopes up?


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling good,had a good day yesterday.At the start of the day it’s hard,but as I get through and meet people,it ended up well


----------



## tea111red

No joy.


----------



## Noraborealis

I'm worried about my mom. She's been acting very strangely and wondering if it's early signs of a heart attack. I caught my dad's heart attack years ago and had him go to the doctor just before it got serious. I'm going to have my mom see the doctor tomorrow for sure.


----------



## 0589471

:squeeze that's great to hear 


waterfairy said:


> Better. I feel more at peace.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Headache


Awww. :hug



tea111red said:


> No joy.


Awww. :hug

Mitch, oh Mitch.  



waterfairy said:


> Better. I feel more at peace.


Good to hear. 

Even better when have a Snickers bar. :grin2:

@*Sus y* , I think she needs one of those cakes of yours. 



Noraborealis said:


> I'm worried about my mom. She's been acting very strangely and wondering if it's early signs of a heart attack. I caught my dad's heart attack years ago and had him go to the doctor just before it got serious. I'm going to have my mom see the doctor tomorrow for sure.


Can buy a heart rate monitor for not much online. It clamps to the finger. Even hospitals use them.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I am alright I guess. I'm just wondering about somthing.


----------



## versikk

Thank you klonazepam, for this heavenly bounty you have bestowed upon me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Black As Day said:


> I am alright I guess. I'm just wondering about somthing.


Good to hear. 

I hope you find the answer.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I'm feeling awful defeated tired depressed lonely and hopeless.


----------



## Mabel Pines

:hug


I_Exist said:


> I'm feeling awful defeated tired depressed lonely and hopeless.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

I_Exist said:


> I'm feeling awful defeated tired depressed lonely and hopeless.


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## tea111red

I woke up 5 times during the night...have just decided to get up even though it's kind of early and I don't feel fully rested. I think....

Tired of struggling to stay asleep.


----------



## Rebootplease

tea111red said:


> I woke up 5 times in the night...have just decided to get up. I think.


I think your up already


----------



## tea111red

Rebootplease said:


> I think your up already


Well, I could decide to try to struggle to go back to sleep, too. Sometimes I will feel awake enough to just get up, but then will get waves of tiredness that make it hard to stay awake/function enough during the day so I'll have to reconsider staying awake. :stu


----------



## Suchness

Tired. Didnt get a good nights sleep. You fell asleep around 3am I think but it was lift sleep with a lot of dreaming. Thinking of starting my dream journal again, ive been remembering them lately and it would be cool to get back into lucid dreaming.


----------



## Daxi004

alone n sad


----------



## Fun Spirit

ANX1 said:


> Good to hear.
> 
> I hope you find the answer.


Thank You.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lonely.

Why couldn't it have worked out for me? I never asked for much, just someone to finally give a **** about me and enjoy spending time with me.

Spring and summer time is really hard. I should be out living life, a little, and I'm back to square ****ing one again. :-(


----------



## Methodical

Functional.


----------



## SofaKing

I'm not BPD, but I could go instantly from feeling positive, appreciated, and valued for the work I do and that I'm making a good contribution in a life serving my career to feeling like I have nothing to show for all my years other than a bank account.

I'll have lived and died a meaningless life.

And now, I don't know what I need to do to either give it some meaning in my remaining years, or just throw it all in the bin and eat a bullet.

p.s....never, never, never bank your worth on the work you do. Get a life outside the workplace.


----------



## alienbird

Annoyed. I was promised an hour of peace...


----------



## tea111red

Wish my life would get more fun and exciting.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Grateful, lucky, hopeful. Gotta admit, it feels weird. Good, but weird.


----------



## Mabel Pines

tea111red said:


> Wish my life would get more fun and exciting.


Just smile more.  Smiling sends chemicals into the brain that makes you feel happier.


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless as usual


----------



## cosmicKitten

empty and exhausted and let down


----------



## Mabel Pines

cosmicKitten said:


> empty and exhausted and let down


Why those things, if I may ask?


----------



## discopotato

I feel really good, for once.


----------



## Mabel Pines

discopotato said:


> I feel really good, for once.


Why's that?


----------



## cosmicKitten

Mabel Pines said:


> Why those things, if I may ask?


Somebody close to me let me down, though I guess it's my fault for having expectations at all. I really just ought to get my **** together


----------



## Mabel Pines

cosmicKitten said:


> Somebody close to me let me down, though I guess it's my fault for having expectations at all. I really just ought to get my **** together


It's not your fault. The other person was just a jerk. I hope you feel better, soon.


----------



## 3stacks

pretty decent


----------



## Rebootplease

3stacks said:


> pretty decent


Damn it stacks. Not today. (J)


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> I woke up 5 times during the night...have just decided to get up even though it's kind of early and I don't feel fully rested. I think....
> 
> Tired of struggling to stay asleep.


Awww. :hug



Black As Day said:


> Thank You.


You're welcome. 



tea111red said:


> Wish my life would get more fun and exciting.


Go to a zoo and stand next to a lions cage. Their growl is very alarming, exciting at the same time. I remember that happened to me when a circus was in town and stood next to the líon cages. 



Crisigv said:


> Worthless as usual


No. You're amazing, talented.



cosmicKitten said:


> empty and exhausted and let down


Sorry to hear. 



discopotato said:


> I feel really good, for once.


That is awesome. 



3stacks said:


> pretty decent


I bet a big smile too.


----------



## mobc1990

Waking up feeling depress


----------



## 3stacks

Rebootplease said:


> Damn it stacks. Not today. (J)


I'm ever so sorry  I'll be indecent tomorrow.


----------



## cosmicKitten

Mabel Pines said:


> It's not your fault. The other person was just a jerk. I hope you feel better, soon.


Thank you for the kind words c:


----------



## Mabel Pines

cosmicKitten said:


> Thank you for the kind words c:


I hope those words made you feel better because that was my intention.


----------



## Zatch

Sickly. One of those days where you overslept but still didn't get enough sleep LOL


----------



## BobbyByThePound

I'm feeling pretty optimistic, SubhanAllah.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Zatch said:


> Sickly. One of those days where you overslept but still didn't get enough sleep LOL


That happens to me too and I wake up feeling sleepy and tired after a long sleep. It happens to me when I wake up due to an interruption instead of organically waking up.


----------



## tea111red

@ANX1 I need meaningful relationships...nothing new. I should've clarified that's what exciting would be to me.


----------



## twistix

Unwanted


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> @*ANX1* I need meaningful relationships...nothing new. I should've clarified that's what exciting would be to me.


Oh, ok. 



twistix said:


> Unwanted


:hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired after a lonely day sitting here all alone.



cosmicKitten said:


> Somebody close to me let me down, though I guess it's my fault for having expectations at all. I really just ought to get my **** together


Sorry to hear that!  :hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored enough to be back on SAS.


----------



## vela

crying and feeling sad


----------



## versikk

3stacks said:


> pretty decent


Refreshing. I think I'm in a similar boat today.

Yesterday was exhausting but worth the effort..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Daxi004

a bit scared


----------



## Slacker

Feels good to be done with the nightmare of job hunting.
Forget how physically/mentally exhausting employment is though, going to sleep the whole weekend.
1 week almost done, only... forever to go.


----------



## versikk

Slacker said:


> Feels good to be done with the nightmare of job hunting.
> Forget how physically/mentally exhausting employment is though, going to sleep the whole weekend.
> 1 week almost done, only... forever to go.


Hi sisyphus! I'm also sisyphus
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## discopotato

Mabel Pines said:


> Why's that?


I have people in my life that make me feel good


----------



## Greys0n

I am excited because bought Far Cry 5


----------



## zonebox

It's Friday, and I have six cold beers in the fridge.. backed up with rum in the pantry if I really feel like it. I have a plethora of games to play on my laptop, and this is the end of the school year, meaning no more driving 2 hours a day, and waiting an additional two to three hours in the car for my wife and kids. I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeee! For two months anyway, which is good enough, better than what most people get so I am appreciating it. I have a good feeling about this summer, and we are going to go out on a vacation, I'm also looking forward to setting up the pool, and just lounging in the water.. and sleeping in.. 

No more schedule to uphold, it will be anarchy for the next few months, and I love it. 

But yeah, Friday.. my favorite day. I look forward to drinking, to the point of numbing myself. Sleeping in will be nice too, oh I love being able to sleep in.. No more of this waking up at 5:30 in the morning rubbish, damn that is torture.. why are so many people freqqen morning people? 

So, I'm pretty good right now.


----------



## Daxi004

rich I guess


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Intrigued.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Old, lonely, regretful, depressed, lost, worried, trapped, dependent, broken, bored, miserable, unhealthy, avoidant. I could go on.


----------



## Daxi004

embarrassed


----------



## EarthDominator

Not good enough. (For everything and everyone.)


----------



## Mabel Pines

discopotato said:


> I have people in my life that make me feel good


I'm glad. You deserve good people in your life.


----------



## komorikun

zonebox said:


> It's Friday, and I have six cold beers in the fridge.. backed up with rum in the pantry if I really feel like it. I have a plethora of games to play on my laptop, and this is the end of the school year, meaning no more driving 2 hours a day, and waiting an additional two to three hours in the car for my wife and kids. I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeee! For two months anyway, which is good enough, better than what most people get so I am appreciating it. I have a good feeling about this summer, and we are going to go out on a vacation, I'm also looking forward to setting up the pool, and just lounging in the water.. and sleeping in..
> 
> No more schedule to uphold, it will be anarchy for the next few months, and I love it.
> 
> But yeah, Friday.. my favorite day. I look forward to drinking, to the point of numbing myself. Sleeping in will be nice too, oh I love being able to sleep in.. No more of this waking up at 5:30 in the morning rubbish, damn that is torture.. why are so many people freqqen morning people?
> 
> So, I'm pretty good right now.


You are on vacation or just the kids are on vacation? You and your wife share a car?


----------



## zonebox

komorikun said:


> You are on vacation or just the kids are on vacation? You and your wife share a car?


My wife is a teacher, so we are all on vacation. I'm the only one that can drive in the house, so I drive her and the kids back and fourth to school, as well as anywhere else they need to go. I'm sort of a glorified chauffeur in this house. My typical day involves waking up at 5:30, getting everyone else awake, hauling them all to school (my wife works in the same school district as the kids), then my youngest daughter waits with me in the car for her school to open, after I drop her off, I drive back home.. clean the house, take care of the dogs, and do other chores, then drive back to the school to pick up one of my daughters then wait for the other to get out of school, as well as my wife to get out of work.

So, when they have no school, it is like a vacation for me too  There will still be chores, but I won't be stuck in the car for four or more hours a day - which is great. It gets confining in there.


----------



## versikk

zonebox said:


> My wife is a teacher, so we are all on vacation. I'm the only one that can drive in the house, so I drive her and the kids back and fourth to school, as well as anywhere else they need to go. I'm sort of a glorified chauffeur in this house. My typical day involves waking up at 5:30, getting everyone else awake, hauling them all to school (my wife works in the same school district as the kids), then my youngest daughter waits with me in the car for her school to open, after I drop her off, I drive back home.. clean the house, take care of the dogs, and do other chores, then drive back to the school to pick up one of my daughters then wait for the other to get out of school, as well as my wife to get out of work.
> 
> So, when they have no school, it is like a vacation for me too  There will still be chores, but I won't be stuck in the car for four or more hours a day - which is great. It gets confining in there.


what in the fcvk. I thought you lived alone.


----------



## Tomatmacka

Pretty good, although tired.


----------



## zonebox

versikk said:


> what in the fcvk. I thought you lived alone.


Nope, I don't bring them up on the forum often though because I fear it upsets some people. When I used to talk more about them, threads started popping up that were belittling parents so I took that as a hint and stopped talking about them as often. It could have just been my imagination, but no one really wants to hear too much about other people's families anyway, it is mostly boring to hear people drone on and on about them :lol

I've been married for 16 years, since this past April.


----------



## versikk

zonebox said:


> Nope, I don't bring them up on the forum often though because I fear it upsets some people. When I used to talk more about them, threads started popping up that were belittling parents so I took that as a hint and stopped talking about them as often. It could have just been my imagination, but no one really wants to hear too much about other people's families anyway, it is mostly boring to hear people drone on and on about them :lol
> 
> I've been married for 16 years, since this past April.


*sounds of glass shattering to represent my mind being blown*


----------



## zonebox

versikk said:


> *sounds of glass shattering to represent my mind being blown*


:lol

If I can get married, then there is definitely hope out there for other people. I honestly don't know what she sees in me, but she really loves me for some reason, I think it is because I clean the house, do most of the chores, go grocery shopping with her or for her, listen to her, and don't talk much. I even tried to annoy her yesterday, she made me watch the royal wedding, which was quite cruel.. So yesterday to get back at her, I cracked opened my book "Java The Complete Reference" and started to read it to her.. She actually liked that.. . wth?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@zonebox

Sounds like a cool, funny wife. :lol

A lucky man.


----------



## zonebox

ANX1 said:


> @zonebox
> 
> A lucky man.


:yes

I may have a fear of people, but I have lived a relatively decent life. I have good parents who love me, I had employment from a young age, no major catastrophe has happened yet, if I believed in a higher power I would be thankful toward it, perhaps I should be thankful just to luck. I mean, surely I am awkward socially, I am an odd duck, but I have made do pretty well with it and don't have any major complaints. I would actually feel kind of guilty complaining about life too much, because a lot of people go through hell.

And now, it is time to crack open a cold beer and relax for a while 

:drunk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored, and lonely.


----------



## Rebootplease

SamanthaStrange said:


> Bored, and lonely.


Just got a random allergic reaction and my eyes are all itchy...not that anyone cares...i wouldn't know why you would.


----------



## Rebootplease

Rebootplease said:


> SamanthaStrange said:
> 
> 
> 
> Bored, and lonely.
> 
> 
> 
> Just got a random allergic reaction and my eyes are all itchy...not that anyone cares...i wouldn't know why you would.
Click to expand...

Join the club kid...that was supposed to be my reply to you.


----------



## funnynihilist

*sip*


----------



## 3stacks

inadequate


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

zonebox said:


> :yes
> 
> I may have a fear of people, but I have lived a relatively decent life. I have good parents who love me, I had employment from a young age, no major catastrophe has happened yet, if I believed in a higher power I would be thankful toward it, perhaps I should be thankful just to luck. I mean, surely I am awkward socially, I am an odd duck, but I have made do pretty well with it and don't have any major complaints. I would actually feel kind of guilty complaining about life too much, because a lot of people go through hell.
> 
> And now, it is time to crack open a cold beer and relax for a while
> 
> :drunk


It's ok. 

Enjoy the Fanta's mate.


----------



## funnynihilist

What's it to ya?


----------



## komorikun

zonebox said:


> My wife is a teacher, so we are all on vacation. I'm the only one that can drive in the house, so I drive her and the kids back and fourth to school, as well as anywhere else they need to go. I'm sort of a glorified chauffeur in this house. My typical day involves waking up at 5:30, getting everyone else awake, hauling them all to school (my wife works in the same school district as the kids), then my youngest daughter waits with me in the car for her school to open, after I drop her off, I drive back home.. clean the house, take care of the dogs, and do other chores, then drive back to the school to pick up one of my daughters then wait for the other to get out of school, as well as my wife to get out of work.
> 
> So, when they have no school, it is like a vacation for me too  There will still be chores, but I won't be stuck in the car for four or more hours a day - which is great. It gets confining in there.


Oh okay. So you are kind of like the house-husband. Do you do any part-time work at home? Is your wife afraid afraid to drive?

My dad was a high school teacher too. But he often worked summer school in order to make more money.


----------



## zonebox

ANX1 said:


> It's ok.
> 
> Enjoy the Fanta's mate.


I've become such a light weight, I'm only on my 5th beer at this point, and don't think I'll be able to manage the 6th one... I could'a been a contender ANX1! In my day, I could drink 12 beers, no problem, now I am struggling on this 5th beer.






Well, I enjoyed the first four at any rate


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

zonebox said:


> I've become such a light weight, I'm only on my 5th beer at this point, and don't think I'll be able to manage the 6th one... I could'a been a contender ANX1! In my day, I could drink 12 beers, no problem, now I am struggling on this 5th beer.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Well, I enjoyed the first four at any rate


Good to hear that you enjoyed them. 

Could be the brand? :stu


----------



## funnynihilist

buzzzzzzzzed


----------



## Daxi004

shaky


----------



## zonebox

komorikun said:


> Oh okay. So you are kind of like the house-husband. Do you do any part-time work at home? Is your wife afraid afraid to drive?
> 
> My dad was a high school teacher too. But he often worked summer school in order to make more money.


My wife was diagnosed with epilepsy a little while ago, so she can't drive anymore. As a result, I had to quit my job unfortunately, she makes a lot more than I did, not to mention she gets a lot of benefits my job did not provide  I liked that job too, it was a really sweet gig, it was labor intensive, moving furniture, but it was enjoyable and I miss having that extra cash. I'm trying to get into making games as a side job, but I really don't know if it will ever take me far. There are people far more capable than I am doing it already, but I'm still going to give it a shot.


----------



## zonebox

ANX1 said:


> Good to hear that you enjoyed them.
> 
> Could be the brand? :stu


They were good, but I'm just not as much of a drinker anymore. I used to be able to guzzle them, now I mostly just sip away and get engaged with other things. Before I know it a few hours have passed and I am no longer interested in drinking :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

zonebox said:


> They were good, but I'm just not as much of a drinker anymore. I used to be able to guzzle them, now I mostly just sip away and get engaged with other things. Before I know it a few hours have passed and I am no longer interested in drinking :lol


Oh, ok. :grin2:


----------



## Overcast

Tired, annoyed and a bit worried. I spent the entire week watching anime and lazing around so I neglected my studies on my first few weeks of college. Now my assignments have piled up and these next few weeks are going to be absolute ****. Oh well, it's my fault for being a lazy procrastinator I guess :sigh


----------



## komorikun

Overcast said:


> Tired, annoyed and a bit worried. I spent the entire week watching anime and lazing around so I neglected my studies on my first few weeks of college. Now my assignments have piled up and these next few weeks are going to be absolute ****. Oh well, it's my fault for being a lazy procrastinator I guess :sigh


When does the school year start in Costa Rica?


----------



## Overcast

komorikun said:


> When does the school year start in Costa Rica?


It depends on the school or university. My university has a quarter system so we enter a new academic term every 4 months, then we get a 2 or 3 week break.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Rebootplease said:


> Just got a random allergic reaction and my eyes are all itchy...not that anyone cares...i wouldn't know why you would.


You got an allergic reaction from Samantha's post? :um


----------



## mobc1990

Am feeling okay.I just sold a bunch of item and it was very profitable but uses a lot of energy for me,haha.Today I am generally feeling okay 😉


----------



## Rebootplease

Mabel Pines said:


> Rebootplease said:
> 
> 
> 
> Just got a random allergic reaction and my eyes are all itchy...not that anyone cares...i wouldn't know why you would.
> 
> 
> 
> You got an allergic reaction from Samantha's post?
Click to expand...




mobc1990 said:


> Am feeling okay.I just sold a bunch of item and it was very profitable but uses a lot of energy for me,haha.Today I am generally feeling okay &#128521;


Excellent!


----------



## Daxi004

embarrassed


----------



## Mabel Pines

anhelou said:


> embarrassed


Why's that?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> inadequate


Same, but you've scrubbed up well in that pic. I didn't recognize you at first. Looks like you've been to the barbers and had the lot done. lol Looking good, man! :smile2:


----------



## Daxi004

Mabel Pines said:


> Why's that?


I'm trying to share my thoughts and feelings and it always end up like I'm dumb... and I can't change that


----------



## funnynihilist

Gonna be a boring weekend


----------



## Slacker

3 day weekend of doing nothing. 

And I mean that in a good way . Need muh rest


----------



## llodell88

im tired. i dont wanna go anywhere. i cant believe i tried to talk to that girl that i was from friends from middle school with earlier today,sort of embarrassed.


----------



## twistix

Alone


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I should be enjoying the bank holiday weekend with someone. Not stuck here feeling ****ing hopeless.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

twistix said:


> Alone





Pete Beale said:


> I should be enjoying the bank holiday weekend with someone. Not stuck here feeling ****ing hopeless.


Ditto.

:squeeze


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SamanthaStrange said:


> Ditto.
> 
> :squeeze


:frown2:


----------



## Andre

Imagining being born then some years later a hand tries to take you away from yourself and put you in a contrapositive place wherein you lose when you accept and you lose when you don't accept, and that staying with you the whole time up until the present, when really it was that way the entire existence.

Also like doing new.


----------



## birddookie

@funnynihilist Nothing going on this Memorial Day weekend?

@Slacker Same here, but got called to do a job at 8 this morning, will try a nap in a few.:yawn

@llodell88 It's great that you talked to your old friend from middle school. That is tough to do for me, I usually just say hey how's it going and leave.

@twistix @Pete Beale @SamanthaStrange We're here for you if you want to talk.:group Hope y'all feel better.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

birddookie said:


> @funnynihilist Nothing going on this Memorial Day weekend?
> 
> @Slacker Same here, but got called to do a job at 8 this morning, will try a nap in a few.:yawn
> 
> @llodell88 It's great that you talked to your old friend from middle school. That is tough to do for me, I usually just say hey how's it going and leave.
> 
> @twistix @Pete Beale @SamanthaStrange We're here for you if you want to talk.:group Hope y'all feel better.


Thanks mate.


----------



## birddookie

Pete Beale said:


> Thanks mate.


Anytime!:smile2:


----------



## funnynihilist

@birddookie nope, no such luck


----------



## Crisigv

Emotional, stupid, lonely, ugly, pointless


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Lethargic.

Numb.

Empty.

Emotionless.

Trying not to fallback on unhealthy coping mechanisms like I used to whenever I "felt" this way.


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Lethargic.
> 
> Numb.
> 
> Empty.
> 
> Emotionless.
> 
> Trying not to fallback on unhealthy coping mechanisms like I used to whenever I "felt" this way.


I hear you on that. Kind of caved in last night, though.

:hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> I hear you on that. *Kind of caved in last night, though.*
> 
> :hug


I am so sorry to hear that.  :hug


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am so sorry to hear that.  :hug


Thank you. If you need someone to talk to my PM is open.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Thank you. *If you need someone to talk to my PM is open.*


No, thank *you*.


----------



## Chevy396

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Lethargic.
> 
> Numb.
> 
> Empty.
> 
> Emotionless.
> 
> Trying not to fallback on unhealthy coping mechanisms like I used to whenever I "felt" this way.


If you're feeling that way about a girl just try to remember that your happiness does not depend on them, they are more like dessert than the main course in life, if that makes sense.

*I do not condone eating women, unless she requests it in the bedroom.


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> Same, but you've scrubbed up well in that pic. I didn't recognize you at first. Looks like you've been to the barbers and had the lot done. lol Looking good, man! :smile2:


Haha thanks. It was the first time I've actually been to a barbers lol



twistix said:


> Alone


:hug


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> Haha thanks. It was the first time I've actually been to a barbers lol
> 
> :hug


He's done a good job. Did he do your facial hair as well then?

I'd like to let **** grow a bit and see what a good barber could come up with, but it's cheaper to just let the clippers do it's job.


----------



## Andre

I've got the empathic deficit.


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling tired and things did not go as I wanted


----------



## SofaKing

Foolish...as usual.


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Haha thanks. It was the first time I've actually been to a barbers lol
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> He's done a good job. Did he do your facial hair as well then?
> 
> I'd like to let **** grow a bit and see what a good barber could come up with, but it's cheaper to just let the clippers do it's job.
Click to expand...

 I did the facial hair myself its a bit messy still lol


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy


----------



## 0589471

Pretty excited about my camping trip next weekend. Also looking forward to California in August  I know it's a ways off but still, something to hope for.


----------



## tea111red

I inhaled some oxygen from a can today and had the most horrendous muscle spasms of my life. I almost thought I was going to have a medical emergency (I had to go to the ground from the pain....out in public, too, lol), but it eventually went away. 

I tried it again later and I did ok. The dose was a lot lower, though.


----------



## funnynihilist

mellow


----------



## Mabel Pines

Chilled.


----------



## komorikun

Feels like an earthquake right now. But it's only some huge train going by.


----------



## 0589471

tea111red said:


> I inhaled some oxygen from a can today and had the most horrendous muscle spasms of my life. I almost thought I was going to have a medical emergency (I had to go to the ground from the pain....out in public, too, lol), but it eventually went away.
> 
> I tried it again later and I did ok. The dose was a lot lower, though.


omg don't do that! There are better (safer) ways to get high. My brother has to report these incidents all the time, people are huffing their way to their graves almost on the regular. One guy face planted outside of walmart only to get wheeled away by paramedics, and the other went into his car and had a seizure.


----------



## funnynihilist

It's thundering outside which is nice I guess


----------



## tea111red

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> omg don't do that! There are better (safer) ways to get high. My brother has to report these incidents all the time, people are huffing their way to their graves almost on the regular. One guy face planted outside of walmart only to get wheeled away by paramedics, and the other went into his car and had a seizure.


Oh, I wasn't trying to get high. I thought I was doing something good for my health, lol. I went to an oxygen bar and got just a small can of oxygen and the amount I inhaled managed to do that to me.


----------



## 0589471

tea111red said:


> Oh, I wasn't trying to get high. I thought I was doing something good for my health, lol. I went to an oxygen bar and got just a small can of oxygen and the amount I inhaled managed to do that to me.


Oh goodness I just read it wrong :lol scared me for a minute!!! I keep hearing all of these ridiculous huffing stories from my brother, no wonder my mind is elsewhere. Well that's good lol Stick with those low-doses.


----------



## tea111red

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Oh goodness I just read it wrong :lol scared me for a minute!!! I keep hearing all of these ridiculous huffing stories from my brother, no wonder my mind is elsewhere. Well that's good lol Stick with those low-doses.


I don't know if I'll be using the cans of oxygen again, lol. I probably should just do more cardio.

But yeah... about huffing paint and all that...scary and sad stuff.


----------



## SofaKing

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Pretty excited about my camping trip next weekend. Also looking forward to California in August  I know it's a ways off but still, something to hope for.


Camping is awesome. I miss campfires. Have fun!


----------



## Zatch

Heartache I suppose. Noooooo.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Can't seem to be able to get out of this funk I'm in. So no, not feeling well.


----------



## Crisigv

Who cares how I'm feeling? No one does. Feelings are stupid.


----------



## SofaKing

Crisigv said:


> Who cares how I'm feeling? No one does. Feelings are stupid.


I know I do.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Last summer was the best time of my life, but all the summers before that were a waste. This summer, will be the worst I've ever had. I wish I'd died last year when I was happy with her.


----------



## Daxi004

I don't wanna be old I don't want to get old. worried


----------



## SofaKing

I understand your sentiments. Some of us prefer to have a partner to share life with.

I know you're trying to get on...just keep trying to invest your energy to move forward to find someone new.


Pete Beale said:


> Last summer was the best time of my life, but all the summers before that were a waste. This summer, will be the worst I've ever had. I wish I'd died last year when I was happy with her.


----------



## SofaKing

I'm sorry someone hurt you. You don't deserve it.


Grand said:


> Pissed off. Rightfully so.
> 
> Selfish, heartless people out there.
> 
> I don't care who knows. I don't deserve this. At all. I never deserved it. Always deserved better.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> I understand your sentiments. Some of us prefer to have a partner to share life with.
> 
> I know you're trying to get on...just keep trying to invest your energy to move forward to find someone new.


I'm trying mate, but it's hard. Just too much history there. I've got two SA meets next week so I'll see how those go, and a woman has asked me to go camping with her, but I'm a bit weary of her. It's hard trying to meet new people when I was happy with just having her in my life and still miss her terribly and compare everyone to her, when she was behaving herself of course lol. Sigh.


----------



## SofaKing

Keep an open mind. You also lamented how badly she treated you too.

Going camping is a big deal...promising. Get to know her...at worst you may have a new friend.


Pete Beale said:


> I'm trying mate, but it's hard. Just too much history there. I've got two SA meets next week so I'll see how those go, and a woman has asked me to go camping with her, but I'm a bit weary of her. It's hard trying to meet new people when I was happy with just having her in my life and still miss her terribly and compare everyone to her, when she was behaving herself of course lol. Sigh.


----------



## alienbird

SofaKing said:


> I'm sorry someone hurt you. You don't deserve it.


Same person. Again and again.
The sick thing is it's on purpose, and I fell for it again.

Because I was vulnerable. I hate it. People shouldn't use someone's love and care against them. Sick. But I'm not stupid anymore, at least. I mean dumb enough to fall for it because of emotional reasons, but smart enough to know what it is. Manipulation and playing with my emotions.


----------



## SofaKing

We desperately want to believe in the person we build up as fantasy against the harsh realities of who they really are.

Please don't blame yourself for something that is irresistible to do.


Grand said:


> Same person. Again and again.
> The sick thing is it's on purpose, and I fell for it again.
> 
> Because I was vulnerable. I hate it. People shouldn't use someone's love and care against them. Sick. But I'm not stupid anymore, at least. I mean dumb enough to fall for it because of emotional reasons, but smart enough to know what it is. Manipulation and playing with my emotions.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> Keep an open mind. You also lamented how badly she treated you too.
> 
> Going camping is a big deal...promising. Get to know her...at worst you may have a new friend.


Yeah, the abuse amnesia has kicked in pretty hard.

I'm going to go camping with her, otherwise I'll just, do nothing. I wish she was a bit younger tbh. I did ask a younger woman on a date but got rejected lol. I'll just have to force myself to keep meeting people and see how it goes.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> We desperately want to believe in the person we build up as fantasy against the harsh realities of who they really are.
> 
> Please don't blame yourself for something that is irresistible to do.


Can relate to this, unfortunately.


----------



## SofaKing

As I've said to others about something that gives me an ounce of peace and healing...

You can't control what someone thinks, feels, or does.

As such, their behavior is on them, not you.

I hope you can resume your healing and get back to a position of strength.


Grand said:


> That's just it. Wanting to believe, while knowing what they are. I know what he is... I do. I fell for it again, but I can and will survive. He makes my life hell. I used to think he was my savior (see how unhealthy this stuff was?) Oh yeah.
> 
> He made me feel guilty, like I was hurting him. Projection. After he left and ignored me for a year. My life and feelings are just a game to him.
> 
> You don't do this to someone. You just... don't. Anyone with a heart would know better.
> 
> Sighs. It does hurt. I was almost healed from it. I need to learn. Knock me out with the truth.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Grand said:


> That's just it. Wanting to believe, while knowing what they are. I know what he is... I do. I fell for it again, but I can and will survive. He makes my life hell. I used to think he was my savior (see how unhealthy this stuff was?) Oh yeah.
> 
> He made me feel guilty, like I was hurting him. Projection. After he left and ignored me for a year. My life and feelings are just a game to him.
> 
> You don't do this to someone. You just... don't. Anyone with a heart would know better.
> 
> Sighs. It does hurt. I was almost healed from it. I need to learn. Knock me out with the truth.


Are you dealing with someone with a Cluster B personality disorder?


----------



## farfegnugen

Kind of worn out from the week, but trying to convince myself that I should go running and maybe, a walk in the park.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Grand said:


> I strongly believe so. It took a while to realize it wasn't just me being overly emotional, since my self-esteem was shot. But I know he'll read this, so I won't say.
> 
> I wish he would get help, but I don't think his type thinks they need help. And I'm afraid I'll only attract another one like him because of my personality type.


If he's a full blown Narc, there's no hope.

I'm the same as you. I look back on my life and I've met a few people with Cluster B disorders, or at least strong traits if they don't have full blown disorders or co-morbid disorders.

I'm a Cluster C with AVPD and I try and be a nice guy (not a fake nice guy, I genuinely try and be nice to people) but that leaves me vulnerable to people who're abusive.

Problem is on sites like this is that some Cluster B's can also have it co-morbid with Cluster C disorders.

I've made the mistake of meeting socially anxious people and thinking they're the same as me, so try and treat them the way I want to he treated. Now, they are socially anxious, but they're also Cluster B as well.

I'd like to meet the female version of me. I'd never dream of being abusive to someone, especially someone who could be fragile and vulnerable and suffers from mental health issues.

When it happened to me, I couldn't believe I was being abused by someone I met on an SA site, and I'm still suffering from it now. Part of me still can't believe it's happened.


----------



## birddookie

funnynihilist said:


> @*birddookie* nope, no such luck


Dern, hope you find something to do:frown2:, Are you grilling out for Memorial Day, what are you cooking?



Crisigv said:


> Emotional, stupid, lonely, ugly, pointless


.

We're playing Antonym? You scored pretty well you got smart, pretty, and means a lot correct.

For Loneliness meet up groups, hockey sports bar(unless you don't like bars, I don't like them, unless they have games, or pool tables in them.)
Are you planning to head back to school for a degree? what would you want to get a degree in? that could be another way to meet some friends, two of my current friends I met in College. Also if you already went to University, what did you get a degree in?

I hope you find some local friends. You got a friend in me, and I'm here if you want to talk.

Emotional? Here are some hugs for you, hope you feel better.:squeeze:hug

Sorry for the late response, I care about how you feel, and wish you the best, even if I miss some of your posts.:smile2:



Andre said:


> I've got the empathic deficit.


I don't quite understand that, do you lack empathy?



mobc1990 said:


> Feeling tired and things did not go as I wanted


Hope you get a well nights rest and have a better day.



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Pretty excited about my camping trip next weekend. Also looking forward to California in August  I know it's a ways off but still, something to hope for.


Jealous! Going to be tough to camp in Arizona with all the desert:wink2:, are there some good spots to camp, or are you heading out of state? I have the USBC SC Open state bowling tournament, won Division II last year, going to defend it this year. There are some good bowlers, and was lucky to have some good games, won it by 3 pins last year.



anhelou said:


> I don't wanna be old I don't want to get old. worried


It's not too bad , according to some being 18 or older is old, so you might be old already.



farfegnugen said:


> Kind of worn out from the week, but trying to convince myself that I should go running and maybe, a walk in the park.


Go for it, don't know about you, but I usually feel better after a nice workout.


----------



## 0589471

birddookie said:


> Jealous! Going to be tough to camp in Arizona with all the desert:wink2:, are there some good spots to camp, or are you heading out of state? I have the USBC SC Open state bowling tournament, won Division II last year, going to defend it this year. There are some good bowlers, and was lucky to have some good games, won it by 3 pins last year.


There are much nicer places up North, and I'll be camping in Payson, which is not the middle of the desert. Lots of green and lakes and sky  Oh exciting!!! Looks like you have something fun to do too! I'm a terrible bowler but it's still fun to play. I wish you all the best competing!


----------



## Tomatmacka

A little sad but nothing major.


----------



## versikk

empty? confused? worried?

something like that


----------



## vela

Tired, in pain (cavity, ugh!), and depressed. (the pain isn't helping. lol)


----------



## Joepert28

decreasing anti psychotics dosage, little bit jittery (withdrawal)


----------



## komorikun

At least I don't have a hangover today, unlike yesterday.


----------



## Rebootplease

Like maybe some vodka ...


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling okay,had a very good sleep yesterday


----------



## leaf in the wind

Lonely and bored.


----------



## SofaKing

leaf in the wind said:


> Lonely and bored.


Ditto


----------



## birddookie

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> There are much nicer places up North, and I'll be camping in Payson, which is not the middle of the desert. Lots of green and lakes and sky  Oh exciting!!! Looks like you have something fun to do too! I'm a terrible bowler but it's still fun to play. I wish you all the best competing!


Super Jealous now, looks like a great place, want to switch?:laugh: What activities do you have planned? Hope you have a fun time.

Yes it's very fun, don't sell yourself short it's mainly the equipment. Bowling with a house ball is like playing put put with a putter to short or too long for you. You have to get the ball drilled to your hand, get some good bowling shoes, and it's a night and day difference. Thank you!:smile2:



Tomatmacka said:


> A little sad but nothing major.


Hope the rest of your day is brighter!:hug



versikk said:


> empty? confused? worried?
> 
> something like that


Sounds like a bad time, hope you figure out what's going on, and stop feeling empty, confused, and worried. :hug



vela said:


> Tired, in pain (cavity, ugh!), and depressed. (the pain isn't helping. lol)


Do you have access to Whiskey? I heard if you rub it on the cavity it can help. Hope you can get it looked at soon and feel better.:hug



Joepert28 said:


> decreasing anti psychotics dosage, little bit jittery (withdrawal)


Best wishes for it to ease up, and you to feel better.:hug



komorikun said:


> At least I don't have a hangover today, unlike yesterday.


:clap Congrats, glad to hear, those are a pain to have.



Rebootplease said:


> Like maybe some vodka ...


Nice! Vodka Cranberry here, Zima's are back out again if you liked those back in the day.


----------



## Rebootplease

Nice! Vodka Cranberry here, Zima's are back out again if you liked those back in the day.[/QUOTE]

Never did zimas. Too fancy for me. I like whatever gets the job done the fastest ..even though i rarely drink.


----------



## 0589471

@birddookie Well it's interesting for me because I've never gone camping before :lol I'm going with my best friend, her 5 little kids, a big dog, and a few other families I don't know. Talk about challenging my anxiety haha, but it'll be good. I love her kids, her youngest is my goddaughter, and they're very well behaved and fun to be around. I'm not entirely sure how it's going to go but I'm excited regardless  Yeah I think I definitely need more practice bowling and finding the right "fit" so to speak. It'd be nice if I had people to do these things with.


----------



## Sus y

Studying and working can be so boring, I want to have fun too.


----------



## Rebootplease

Rebootplease said:


> Nice! Vodka Cranberry here, Zima's are back out again if you liked those back in the day.


Never did zimas. Too fancy for me. I like whatever gets the job done the fastest ..even though i rarely drink.[/QUOTE]

By the way, that was a nice low ball age blow. Don't worry, you 'll get there one day.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Lonely and alone.


----------



## versikk

birddookie said:


> Sounds like a bad time, hope you figure out what's going on, and stop feeling empty, confused, and worried. :hug
> 
> .


1. I understand very little about large portions of my mind. unfortunately. My mind blocks me from getting into the nitty gritty inner workings. It fcvking sucks.

2. Opiate tolerance builds extremly fast for me. Goodbye viable painkiller remedy. I just end up nauseated instead.


----------



## Zatch

Blushy as hec*. People have been really sweet today.


----------



## Flora20

Lonely, sad and cold..


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I don't feel anxious but I do keep feeling afraid of what will happen to me. I feel fear.

I'm probably going to end up sectioned, dying alone, committing suicide at some point. 

I can't look after myself and need too much help from people.


----------



## Tomatmacka

birddookie said:


> Hope the rest of your day is brighter!:hug


Thanks!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Flora20 said:


> Lonely, sad and cold..


:hug


----------



## Kevin001

Groggy.....need to get some good sleep tonight.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Moody.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm really miserable and my lower back hurts a lot.


----------



## funnynihilist

@*birddookie  not cooking, going to a restauant*


----------



## momentsunset

Pretty awesome. My doctor pointed out I was severely dehydrated so I've been drinking way more water and it has made a huge difference in my mood already. My skin is way more clear as well, and my dark circles aren't as dark. Yay for looking and feeling healthier


----------



## cosmicKitten

fantastic. he said yes :mushy


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Excited for my third volunteer position and lonely about "her", seemingly all at once.


----------



## shyvr6

I'm so tired, I can't keep my eyes open.


----------



## birddookie

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> @*birddookie* Well it's interesting for me because I've never gone camping before :lol I'm going with my best friend, her 5 little kids, a big dog, and a few other families I don't know. Talk about challenging my anxiety haha, but it'll be good. I love her kids, her youngest is my goddaughter, and they're very well behaved and fun to be around. I'm not entirely sure how it's going to go but I'm excited regardless  Yeah I think I definitely need more practice bowling and finding the right "fit" so to speak. It'd be nice if I had people to do these things with.


Wow first time, and a huge crowd! Hope you have some alcohol around.Congrats on being a godmother, you are surely her best friend to be a godmother to one of her kids. I have some tips, if you like a soft mattress I recommend a memory foam pad to put under your sleeping bag, or an air mattress. It's tough to determine what you can have as some tents are shallow, and others are tall and wide, Air mattress is nice, but you don't want to hog most of the tent.:grin2:

Bet you could do well. I got back into it as a whim get together with my parents, since I was a few towns over and they had heart conditions that put them into the ER. I wanted to get good at bowling, and learned about it from the worker at the bowling alley, and he was correct it's a night and day difference.



Sus y said:


> Studying and working can be so boring, I want to have fun too.


What are you going to school for? I went through that, it's kind of crazy to go to college and work full time. You appreciate the few days you get free a lot more.



Rebootplease said:


> Never did zimas. Too fancy for me. I like whatever gets the job done the fastest ..even though i rarely drink.


By the way, that was a nice low ball age blow. Don't worry, you 'll get there one day.[/QUOTE]

I don't know how old you are lol. I am of the age of Zima as well, and had some when I was younger. It's nice, it's a sprite with alcohol.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Lonely and alone.


:hug Best wishes for you.



versikk said:


> 1. I understand very little about large portions of my mind. unfortunately. My mind blocks me from getting into the nitty gritty inner workings. It fcvking sucks.
> 
> 2. Opiate tolerance builds extremly fast for me. Goodbye viable painkiller remedy. I just end up nauseated instead.


#1 is somewhat of a problem for me, I feel if I could figure out who I am I would be a lot better off. Hope you can find a solution to it one day.
#2 Opiates are a pita to get off of, is there any other way to help you not feel nauseated? Like working out or eating healthier?

@Pete Beale I hope you don't commit suicide, is there a way you can gain more independence? That might make you feel better if you have to depend less on someone else. Hope you can find a solution to live and be happy.:hug

@Tomatmacka Your welcome!

@Kevin001 Same here, Cheers to a good night sleep and to feeling refreshed tomorrow. :drunk

@SamanthaStrange I like your new avatar Samantha! Really fits your post. :wink2: Best wishes on a better day tomorrow.

@Crisigv What happened to cause the lower back pain? Here is a back massage for you, hope you feel better. :spank

@funnynihilist Nice, How did it go, and what kind of food did you get?

@momentsunset Awesome, I heard H20 helps people look younger. I read a story about a woman in her 40's that looks like she's still in her 20's, that was the main thing that helped her, drinking a lot of water, and keeping her skin moisturized.

@cosmicKitten That's vague, are you getting married?

@shyvr6 Good night!:yawn


----------



## Sus y

birddookie said:


> What are you going to school for? I went through that, it's kind of crazy to go to college and work full time. You appreciate the few days you get free a lot more.


There is not such a thing, I mean, I can have days off, but I'll still have work to do, work I'm not doing while posting here haha. >


----------



## SamanthaStrange

birddookie said:


> @SamanthaStrange I like your new avatar Samantha! Really fits your post. :wink2: Best wishes on a better day tomorrow.


Thanks.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Sus y said:


> There is not such a thing, I mean, I can have days off, but I'll still have work to do, work I'm not doing while posting here haha. >


If I was your husband, you wouldn't have to work a day in your life for the rest of your life, that is if you didn't want to work.


----------



## funnynihilist

@birddookie pankakers


----------



## Sus y

Mabel Pines said:


> If I was your husband, you wouldn't have to work a day in your life for the rest of your life, that is if you didn't want to work.


Then, I'll be complaining here about having to please a husband. There is a reason (or many, better to say) why I'm single. :wink2:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@birddookie Thanks!


----------



## Mabel Pines

Sus y said:


> Then, I'll be complaining here about having to please a husband. There is a reason (or many, better to say) why I'm single. :wink2:


You wouldn't have to please me. I would worship the ground that you walk on and be the one that tries to please you in all of your days, not because I would feel compelled to but because I would love to.


----------



## InaAya

I'm feeling a little stressed out, but, overall things are ok I think.


----------



## Zatch

Chatty, everyone is asleep though. Also slightly pissed.

I'm not much of a venter, but I wish it was easier to find nocturnal people to talk to.


----------



## momentsunset

birddookie said:


> @*momentsunset* Awesome, I heard H20 helps people look younger. I read a story about a woman in her 40's that looks like she's still in her 20's, that was the main thing that helped her, drinking a lot of water, and keeping her skin moisturized.


Awesomeness  It's a bit of a change drinking like 4x the water I usually do but definitely something worth putting the effort into for all of the amazing benefits.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Awesome. I miss my lost family. :crying:


----------



## tea111red

Can't sleep. Too bothered by stuff.


----------



## Marko3




----------



## Marko3

Bad Apple never gets old...


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I wish I hadn't woke up.

I don't know how much longer I can go on feeling like this.

I don't want to he here anymore. There's no escape from the pain.


----------



## Suchness

Pete Beale said:


> I wish I hadn't woke up.
> 
> I don't know how much longer I can go on feeling like this.
> 
> I don't want to he here anymore. There's no escape from the pain.


Theres always hope. I know you can do it.


----------



## cosmicKitten

The residual nausea and overall meh-ness from the food poisoning I had is finally gone and I've gained most of my weight back, so I'm feelin' pretty good physically


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Suchness said:


> Theres always hope. I know you can do it.


I don't want to be here but have to keep suffering because of family members.

What sort of life is this?

I was happy for the first time in my life because I finally had someone else, then it was taken away from me, and now I'm worse off than I've ever been.

I feel like it was a cruel joke life played on me, just to torture me in the end.

99% of my life has been a waste of time. I've been lonely as **** for 99% of this ****, and the 1% was just a cruel dream that I had to wake up from. Know I have to face the reality nightmare of what I am and what I have to face.

There's no one to take away the pain and I need someone to live for.

I can't do this **** alone. I'm miserable without someone in my life.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Um, I don't know what to do lol and I just went to bed early to pass time for no reason. :haha


----------



## Methodical

Terrible


----------



## Mabel Pines

cosmicKitten said:


> The residual nausea and overall meh-ness from the food poisoning I had is finally gone and I've gained most of my weight back, so I'm feelin' pretty good physically


I'm glad that you are feeling pretty good physically.


----------



## Crisigv

Pissed off


----------



## cosmicKitten

Mabel Pines said:


> I'm glad that you are feeling pretty good physically.


thank you!! c:


----------



## birddookie

Sus y said:


> There is not such a thing, I mean, I can have days off, but I'll still have work to do, work I'm not doing while posting here haha. >


No vacations after a school semester? I use to cherish those weeks. How long do you have until you graduate?



SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks.


Anytime! glad you have an avatar again, I love the pictures that you chose.



funnynihilist said:


> @birddookie pankakers


Do not look that up in urbandictionary.  Pancakes are good, have you ever had Pineapple Coconut Pancakes? I had the waffle version of it, and it's probably the best waffle I've ever had.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> @*birddookie* Thanks!


Your welcome!



InaAya said:


> I'm feeling a little stressed out, but, overall things are ok I think.


That's good, a little stress is ok, hope it doesn't get worse.



Zatch said:


> Chatty, everyone is asleep though. Also slightly pissed.
> 
> I'm not much of a venter, but I wish it was easier to find nocturnal people to talk to.


Go to a club, or bar. I wonder if you could created a nocturnal thread on here to find fellow SAS'ers who are nocturnal. I can't be, I have to work at 8 in the morning.



momentsunset said:


> Awesomeness  It's a bit of a change drinking like 4x the water I usually do but definitely something worth putting the effort into for all of the amazing benefits.


Nice, just don't go overboard as there is a thing called water poisoning.:O

@ANX1 I love that video, sorry to hear and hope you feel better?:hug

@tea111red What's bothering you? Best wishes for the stuff to stop messing with you, so you can get a good nights rest.:yawn

@Deaf Mute Nice, how long did you sleep?

@Methodical Hope you feel better.:squeeze

@Crisigv What happened? Hope you find a resolution, so you aren't pissed off anymore.:hug


----------



## tea111red

@birddookie I think this person I liked and that I thought liked me (I'm thinking I was wrong on that again now) is getting married to some materialistic ***** (forgive me).

I feel stupid for getting hung up on this person and for thinking they liked me. I can't even read the signs of attraction and interest right, apparently. Ugh.

I don't know wtf he wanted w/ me, though. He acted "weird" w/ me. The whole thing just upsets me...


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> I miss my lost family. :crying:


Sorry to hear that!  :rub


----------



## soreos

I'm just feeling really lonely but I don't want to complain because life could be worse I guess. 😅


----------



## vela

stupid


----------



## birddookie

@tea111red :hug Sorry that happened to you. Please don't feel dumb, I have that same problem, people with social anxiety might have a tougher time determining how others feel about them. Does he still try to talk to you? It's possible he wants to be your friend.

@soreos True, but it's something worth talking about imo. Hope you find some friends.:hug

@vela What makes you say that? I hope the feeling passes soon.:squeeze


----------



## discopotato

Kinda sad, even though I should be happy. I hate myself.


----------



## tea111red

Painful being alive today.


----------



## Tomatmacka

Annoyed, frustrated and tired but otherwise fine.


----------



## Jeff271

Tired from working hard. Now I have a 2nd job too, so more work for later. 
Hopefully this pie will help.


----------



## Kinable

I didn't sleep much because I worked super early today. I prefer it though, more time in the afternoon for me but nothing can bother me today. I'm in such a great mood


----------



## Suchness

discopotato said:


> Kinda sad, even though I should be happy. I hate myself.


Why are you feeling like a sad potato?


----------



## funnynihilist

_@birddookie pankakers_

"Do not look that up in urbandictionary.  Pancakes are good, have you ever had Pineapple Coconut Pancakes? I had the waffle version of it, and it's probably the best waffle I've ever had."

I don't look ANYTHING up in the urban dictionary anymore lol
No pineapple coconut for me! The most exotic thing I want in my pancakes is chocolate chips. hehe


----------



## discopotato

Suchness said:


> Why are you feeling like a sad potato?


Just some midnight blues, I'm a happy potato now :yes


----------



## Wanderlust26

So bored.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Still moody, crampy, hot, and uncomfortable, bah!


----------



## tea111red

Better than earlier. Probably because my dinner was good...haha.

Having just blah protein drinks and blah coffee was adding to my depression. :lol


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

discopotato said:


> Just some midnight blues, I'm a happy potato now :yes


That's my favourite kind of potato!!!

I'm feeling pretty good.


----------



## Suchness

A happy potato is a good potato.


----------



## Alpha Tauri

I just trimmed my nails and now my fingertips feel weird.


----------



## discopotato

the cheat said:


> That's my favourite kind of potato!!!
> 
> I'm feeling pretty good.


:heart:heart

I'm glad you're feeling good


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Just woke up, so im not sure yet. Not that great.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

birddookie said:


> No vacations after a school semester? I use to cherish those weeks. How long do you have until you graduate?
> 
> Anytime! glad you have an avatar again, I love the pictures that you chose.
> 
> Do not look that up in urbandictionary.  Pancakes are good, have you ever had Pineapple Coconut Pancakes? I had the waffle version of it, and it's probably the best waffle I've ever had.
> 
> Your welcome!
> 
> That's good, a little stress is ok, hope it doesn't get worse.
> 
> Go to a club, or bar. I wonder if you could created a nocturnal thread on here to find fellow SAS'ers who are nocturnal. I can't be, I have to work at 8 in the morning.
> 
> Nice, just don't go overboard as there is a thing called water poisoning.:O
> 
> @*ANX1* I love that video, sorry to hear and hope you feel better?:hug
> 
> @*tea111red* What's bothering you? Best wishes for the stuff to stop messing with you, so you can get a good nights rest.:yawn
> 
> @*Deaf Mute* Nice, how long did you sleep?
> 
> @*Methodical* Hope you feel better.:squeeze
> 
> @*Crisigv* What happened? Hope you find a resolution, so you aren't pissed off anymore.:hug


Thank you mate for your kind words.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sorry to hear that!  :rub


Thank you mate for your kind words.


----------



## cosmicKitten

Heartbroken. One of my outdoor cats Simba passed this morning. RIP little precious baby, I love you so much and I'll never forget how much happiness you brought into my life. <3


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

cosmicKitten said:


> Heartbroken. One of my outdoor cats Simba passed this morning. RIP little precious baby, I love you so much and I'll never forget how much happiness you brought into my life. <3


Sorry to hear.


----------



## cosmicKitten

@ANX1 thank you


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad...uncle got my energy drinks he owed me lol.


----------



## Daxi004

betwixt fool and hopeless


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Like an old, ****ed up, hopeless fool.


----------



## Zatch

Was upset, over bill related crap. Now more content since it's getting resolved without much hassle.

Not the most endearing thing to wake up to though. :bah


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

cosmicKitten said:


> Heartbroken. One of my outdoor cats Simba passed this morning. RIP little precious baby, I love you so much and I'll never forget how much happiness you brought into my life. <3


Poor Simba, and poor cosmicKitten.  :hug


----------



## birddookie

funnynihilist said:


> _@birddookie pankakers_
> 
> "Do not look that up in urbandictionary.  Pancakes are good, have you ever had Pineapple Coconut Pancakes? I had the waffle version of it, and it's probably the best waffle I've ever had."
> 
> I don't look ANYTHING up in the urban dictionary anymore lol
> No pineapple coconut for me! The most exotic thing I want in my pancakes is chocolate chips. hehe


Good, it's scurry, understandable, and can't go wrong with chocolate. What about a cinnamon bun pancake? Local Pancake shop at the beach has that, and i'm going to try it next time I'm down at the beach.



Wanderlust26 said:


> So bored.


In real life I would be worse for you, but maybe on here I can help you not feel as bored.






And I'm sorry if that didn't help.







SamanthaStrange said:


> Still moody, crampy, hot, and uncomfortable, bah!


That is a barrage of bad things. Sorry to hear, wish I could help you. :frown2: Hope it passes quickly. Weekend at the Spa might help.



tea111red said:


> Better than earlier. Probably because my dinner was good...haha.
> 
> Having just blah protein drinks and blah coffee was adding to my depression. :lol


Yes a wholesome meal is always better than the blah's. Glad you're feeling better.:yay



Alpha Tauri said:


> I just trimmed my nails and now my fingertips feel weird.


Try to play the guitar, it's like a whole nother animal



Scrub-Zero said:


> Just woke up, so im not sure yet. Not that great.


How are you now? Hope you're doing better. A cup of coffee and some food might perk you up.



ANX1 said:


> Thank you mate for your kind words.
> 
> Thank you mate for your kind words.


Anytime! 



cosmicKitten said:


> Heartbroken. One of my outdoor cats Simba passed this morning. RIP little precious baby, I love you so much and I'll never forget how much happiness you brought into my life. <3


My Condolences to you.:hugRIP Simba.

@Kevin001 Good to see! Watch out on that stuff, I had to quit drinking them, went overboard a few times when I went to raves.:cup
@nitecentu Didn't know betwixt was a word, thought it was a new bar from Twix. Hope you feel better.:squeeze

@Pete Beale Wish you the best, and hope this dark time passes you soon.:squeeze

@Zatch Not endearing at all, good to see it's getting handled!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

birddookie said:


> That is a barrage of bad things. Sorry to hear, wish I could help you. :frown2: Hope it passes quickly. Weekend at the Spa might help.


It'll pass in about 5 days, but it happens every month. :lol Thanks, though, lol.


----------



## twistix

Sad


----------



## birddookie

SamanthaStrange said:


> It'll pass in about 5 days, but it happens every month. :lol Thanks, though, lol.


Ah had an idea it was that, but didn't want you to get mad at me if I was wrong.:wink2:



twistix said:


> Sad


Hope this spell of sadness passes you, and you can feel joyful in the coming days.:squeeze


----------



## funnynihilist

I'm bored with everything as usual.
I mean sometimes I feel a tinge of something but most of the time I feel apathetic.
The marriage between me and life, the spark is gone, we dont even sleep in the same room anymore and we haven't touched each other in a long time. Hahahahahahhahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahajajajajahahaahhha


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> I'm bored with everything as usual.
> I mean sometimes I feel a tinge of something but most of the time I feel apathetic.
> The marriage between me and life, the spark is gone, we dont even sleep in the same room anymore and we haven't touched each other in a long time. Hahahahahahhahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahajajajajahahaahhha


Calm down. That laugh was a little too maniacal.


----------



## twistix

birddookie said:


> Hope this spell of sadness passes you, and you can feel joyful in the coming days.:squeeze


Thank you :squeeze


----------



## versikk

Just did my laundry but don't feel as happily accomplished by it as last time I did it.


----------



## birddookie

funnynihilist said:


> I'm bored with everything as usual.
> I mean sometimes I feel a tinge of something but most of the time I feel apathetic.
> The marriage between me and life, the spark is gone, we dont even sleep in the same room anymore and we haven't touched each other in a long time. Hahahahahahhahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahajajajajahahaahhha


Is this you:laugh:







twistix said:


> Thank you :squeeze


Your welcome! 



versikk said:


> Just did my laundry but don't feel as happily accomplished by it as last time I did it.


Sorry to hear that, maybe run them through another cycle?


----------



## cosmicKitten

@birddookie @iAmCodeMonkey thank you for the kind words <3


----------



## versikk

birddookie said:


> Sorry to hear that, maybe run them through another cycle?


hahah I don't see the point in that however I will have to schedule my laundry and be more disciplined about it . FCVK.


----------



## coeur_brise

Like I'm down and someone is kicking me. Like my slice of cake just fell on the floor, frost side down and my eggs are overcooked. As if I teleported to a world where every order or French fries I got came cold and soggy. and as the cashier hands it to me, she insists that I have a good day. And she gets extremely offended if I don't. as if everyone walking down the street said, "Smile! Because you're depressed! I love life, I've got places to go. Have fun moping." and well, yeah.


----------



## Daxi004

@coeur_brise

Aww.. Thats sad.. Hope you get better soon :squeeze


----------



## Mabel Pines

versikk said:


> Just did my laundry but don't feel as happily accomplished by it as last time I did it.


Hopefully, you feel more accomplished the next time.


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling good,today I only have work and exercise but no social event I guess


----------



## Suchness

Not too bad so far. Ive had the best sleep last night in over a week, it wasnt good but hopefully enough to feel better today.


----------



## Alpha Tauri

birddookie said:


> try to play the guitar, it's like a whole nother animal


&#128556;


----------



## Suchness

I feel better today than I have in a while


----------



## llodell88

head kinda hurts. took ibuprofen again and didn't do anything. on the plus side i can that stuff without having to pee all day long and throughout the night although im not really convinced its good for me still.


----------



## versikk

Would be nice to not be a swirling maelstrom of emotions once in a while. Like now, even feeling decent (mood wise), my thoughts and emotions are still racing and jumping around and I don't even
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SplendidBob

Crappy today. Feel very apathetic, struggling to motivate myself to do anything.


----------



## funnynihilist

splendidbob said:


> Crappy today. Feel very apathetic, struggling to motivate myself to do anything.


That was my day yesterday. The tank was empty.


----------



## versikk

splendidbob said:


> Crappy today. Feel very apathetic, struggling to motivate myself to do anything.


*Virtual Sympathy hug*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SplendidBob

funnynihilist said:


> That was my day yesterday. The tank was empty.


Yeh, some days it's just like that .

I managed to do a really good old school exposure task in Tesco (asked about the nutritional information on the pizzas, and the two women had to get the booklet out, and I got to practice being smiley and charming and stuff ). Came away a lot happier as they seemed to like me.

Is the golden rule for me now, when I feel crappy, I just have to do stuff, _any_ stuff.



versikk said:


> *Virtual Sympathy hug*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thanks Versikk .


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

7 months tomorrow since I last saw her and it may as well have been 7 day's.

Time has done **** all to heal me. Feel like complete and utter ****e. :smile2::smile2::smile2::smile2::smile2::smile2:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I could summit Annapurna and still feel dead inside. :smile2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

cosmicKitten said:


> @*ANX1* thank you


You're welcome.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

llodell88 said:


> head kinda hurts. took ibuprofen again and didn't do anything. on the plus side i can that stuff without having to pee all day long and throughout the night although im not really convinced its good for me still.


:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> 7 months tomorrow since I last saw her and it may as well have been 7 day's.
> 
> Time has done **** all to heal me. Feel like complete and utter ****e. :smile2::smile2::smile2::smile2::smile2::smile2:


Sorry to hear mate. 

Took me years to get over someone. 

They moved on like I never existed.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

ANX1 said:


> Sorry to hear mate.
> 
> Took me years to get over someone.
> 
> They moved on like I never existed.


I don't think I'll ever get over it. Too much history and she was the only person I'd socialized with in so, so ****ing long.

I felt blessed to have this young woman come into my life after a life time of chronic loneliness.

She's moved on too and now living the life of a young mature student. The life she always wanted but was held back from doing because of her issues.

Me, I'm just a broken middle aged prick who's ****ed it all up.

I felt 15 years younger with her, now I feel 15 years older and have no idea how to even get to any where near the level of happiness I felt with her.

I relied on her for so many years, and now she's moved on and I'm grieving it like a death. I feel like a dog who's master has died and he doesn't know wtf to do. It's just a massive loss and I'm afraid of how bad I feel now.


----------



## EarthDominator

I got too much stress, emotions and thoughts bottled up inside my head and it's turning into anger. I'm not sure how long I can still control it anymore.


----------



## Red2N

Pretty good. Although anxious about my driving lesson tomorrow. 😫


----------



## tea111red

Shht


----------



## riverbird

Pretty great.  Just had a good workout, it's lifted my mood quite a bit.


----------



## findingnemo

Depressed, lonely, but especially lonely. I'm now sick of the years of relative isolation I cocooned myself in.


----------



## alienbird

Happy and at peace.


----------



## mobc1990

Not bad


----------



## tea111red

bored and unfulfilled.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

splendidbob said:


> Crappy today. Feel very apathetic, struggling to motivate myself to do anything.


Probably not enough sleep or medication. 



Pete Beale said:


> I don't think I'll ever get over it. Too much history and she was the only person I'd socialized with in so, so ****ing long.
> 
> I felt blessed to have this young woman come into my life after a life time of chronic loneliness.
> 
> She's moved on too and now living the life of a young mature student. The life she always wanted but was held back from doing because of her issues.
> 
> Me, I'm just a broken middle aged prick who's ****ed it all up.
> 
> I felt 15 years younger with her, now I feel 15 years older and have no idea how to even get to any where near the level of happiness I felt with her.
> 
> I relied on her for so many years, and now she's moved on and I'm grieving it like a death. I feel like a dog who's master has died and he doesn't know wtf to do. It's just a massive loss and I'm afraid of how bad I feel now.


You don't, as they have a piece of your heart in terms of love, caring. But you can give a piece of your heart to other women that are similar. Usually a match is rare to find.

What I find is meeting similar people makes me feel less lonely. I believe it is lack of socializing that is not a good thing when feel this way. 



tea111red said:


> bored and unfulfilled.


Sorry to hear. 

Find a hobby. I find that can help to pass the time and learn new things. Try as a goal to learn something new each day.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely


----------



## CNikki

Crisigv said:


> Lonely


Right there with ya.


----------



## Daxi004

alright


----------



## itsonlyamatteroftime

couldn't stop crying for most of the day but feeling a bit better now.


----------



## Mabel Pines

itsonlyamatteroftime said:


> couldn't stop crying for most of the day but feeling a bit better now.


I hope for much happiness for you in days, ahead. I hope you have many good days because you deserve them because you are awesome.


----------



## versikk

Pete Beale said:


> 7 months tomorrow since I last saw her and it may as well have been 7 day's.
> 
> Time has done **** all to heal me. Feel like complete and utter ****e. :smile2::smile2::smile2::smile2::smile2::smile2:


It's been over 3 years for me now and I still have remnants of soulbreak. Time *does* heal wounds, I swear to Marduk. Don't lose hope yet.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mabel Pines

Grand said:


> Happy and at peace.


That's awesome.


----------



## Kinable

I'm not sure what I'm feeling, I don't feel happy though.


----------



## birddookie

cosmicKitten said:


> @*birddookie* @*iAmCodeMonkey* thank you for the kind words <3


Your welcome!:smile2:



versikk said:


> hahah I don't see the point in that however I will have to schedule my laundry and be more disciplined about it . FCVK.


It's the thought that counts.:smile2:



Alpha Tauri said:


> &#128556;


:grin2:

@Crisigv @CNikki

:squeeze:squeezefor both of y'all, hopefully this weekend will be magical for y'all.

@nitecentu That is quaint!:hs

@Kinaibhlan Is it an up or down type of feeling? Get some grub in the tub, and see if that helps. Hope this unorthodox feeling passes and you feel happiness.


----------



## Roam

Its my 20th birthday today. I'm going to work a 5 hour shift through to 1:00am tonight, was gonna kill an hour or two just sitting outside of work celebrating alone (eating haha). I told my dad that some coworkers and I would be going to the pub, even though I'm not even nearly close enough to my coworkers to even consider doing something like that with me. I just didn't want to look like a loser again for the billionth time on my birthday...

I want to cry but haven't yet. I'm just really tired of being alone.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

ANX1 said:


> Probably not enough sleep or medication.
> 
> You don't, as they have a piece of your heart in terms of love, caring. But you can give a piece of your heart to other women that are similar. Usually a match is rare to find.
> 
> What I find is meeting similar people makes me feel less lonely. I believe it is lack of socializing that is not a good thing when feel this way.
> 
> Sorry to hear.
> 
> Find a hobby. I find that can help to pass the time and learn new things. Try as a goal to learn something new each day.


I'm meeting new people mate, but it's not making me feel any better, at all, tbh. I feel like I need a close connection with someone and it's going to take so much time and energy to find someone because of my mental health issues. It took years to find and meet her. I'm running out of time, big time.

My old hobbies aren't working either. I just miss the **** out of her, no matter what I do. Reminders are her are everywhere and I wish she was with me all the time. I was a completely different person with her.



versikk said:


> It's been over 3 years for me now and I still have remnants of soulbreak. Time *does* heal wounds, I swear to Marduk. Don't lose hope yet.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I hope so, but I don't have much bloody hope tbh. Seriously running out of time as well.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Roam said:


> Its my 20th birthday today. I'm going to work a 5 hour shift through to 1:00am tonight, was gonna kill an hour or two just sitting outside of work celebrating alone (eating haha). I told my dad that some coworkers and I would be going to the pub, even though I'm not even nearly close enough to my coworkers to even consider doing something like that with me. I just didn't want to look like a loser again for the billionth time on my birthday...
> 
> I want to cry but haven't yet. I'm just really tired of being alone.


Happy Birthday!

Maybe try a meetup group in your area. You're very young and you DO NOT want to end up in my situation!

Try and stay in work and please try and meet people!


----------



## Alpha Tauri

Very unsure of what's to come and the anxiety that results from it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> I'm meeting new people mate, but it's not making me feel any better, at all, tbh. I feel like I need a close connection with someone and it's going to take so much time and energy to find someone because of my mental health issues. It took years to find and meet her. I'm running out of time, big time.
> 
> My old hobbies aren't working either. I just miss the **** out of her, no matter what I do. Reminders are her are everywhere and I wish she was with me all the time. I was a completely different person with her.
> 
> I hope so, but I don't have much bloody hope tbh. Seriously running out of time as well.




It takes time, many years. In addition, I also vented emotions one at a time mentally (emotions at time of trauma), like a long stream exiting head when picture it in your head and thought about cuddling myself mentally which made me feel instantly better. I guess doesn't work for everyone, as some say it doesn't work for them. It is just finding a way that works for you.


----------



## Daxi004

Safe


----------



## SamanthaStrange

:serious: Annoyed. Tired of everything. Headache.


----------



## Kevin001

tired mentally and physically, probably have an energy drink before work.


----------



## Kinable

birddookie said:


> Is it an up or down type of feeling? Get some grub in the tub, and see if that helps. Hope this unorthodox feeling passes and you feel happiness.


A down feeling. I should be happy but I'm not. I'm not exactly sad nor depressed, just lonely and unsure I guess.


----------



## tea111red

So bored


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel disconnected from the main stream human race.


----------



## CNikki

Like I need to let out a real good cry. Can't bring myself to. It's annoying either way.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Terrible. No idea what to do. I can't keep feeling like this. It's going to make me physically ill at some point.


----------



## Fun Spirit

-I am tired. I been up at night talking on the phone with my Mom.
I should go to bed early tonight.

-At the same time I am curious about two people.


----------



## mobc1990

Tired,but not too bad


----------



## tea111red

Still bored.


----------



## llodell88

i feel bored and depressed again cus its that time of night again but i'll get over it, the cycle of life

also i want to kick something

i wish i had a car, i fffeel like going into town and getting some food or something.


----------



## The Linux Guy

really really really really really really sad.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Still bored.


Not sure if this the music you listen to -






I found it when watching this video clip -






Touching her hair is her getting nervous (what she says).


----------



## Fun Spirit

I am tired but I can't seem to go to sleep.


----------



## 3stacks

Black As Day said:


> I am tired but I can't seem to go to sleep.


 Same! Its so tiring being tired isnt it lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Costa Concordia -






R.I.P.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Nothing


----------



## Deaf Mute

I'm so empty now, limbo =/= freedom, I just want to disappear now honestly. I've calculated everything and I can't find a way out... the system is too impossible to scale.

Nothing matters now, I can do whatever.


----------



## Daxi004

nothing and confused


----------



## Daxi004

lagom ledsen


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Black As Day said:


> I am tired but I can't seem to go to sleep.


 I miss that.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I'm ****ing bored. 

I want to blow my savings but have no one to enjoy it with.

I hate being alone! 

This summer is going to be like a freezing, miserable Siberian winter compared to last.


----------



## komorikun

Relieved that I got the laundry done last night. 2 loads. And I brought down some cardboard boxes to my storage closet that is next to the laundry room in the basement. Planning on using them for when I move. That is all I have in that closet. Boxes and various spiderwebs. Still have some boxes in the living room but less than before. Trying to get rid of the clutter. Also took out the trash. 

I like to do these things late at night (after 10pm) since I'm less likely to run into a neighbor.


----------



## Daxi004

I don't know which word to use for how I feel right now. But it's something good


----------



## mobc1990

I am feeling okay.Went for a speed dating event last night,it wasn’t as great as the first one but at least I do learn things from other and didn’t lose control lol


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I'm feeling better tonight, so that's something.


----------



## EarthDominator

I'm a horrible person, I deserve only death right now. :sigh


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Stayed up too late, woke up too early, and headache again.


----------



## Daxi004

Slumberous


----------



## discopotato

the memories of the things he did to me keeps coming back to haunt me. he is still ruining my life, all these years later.


----------



## PandaBearx

Sick, don't feel too hot.


----------



## Mabel Pines

discopotato said:


> the memories of the things he did to me keeps coming back to haunt me. he is still ruining my life, all these years later.


:hug I hope you feel better, soon.


----------



## Katibel

Sleepy... stayed up too late...


----------



## Fun Spirit

I am alright. 
For some reason today when I look outside I feel kind of sad/down. 
I think it is the Season. It may be late Spring but Summer is coming. 
I'm not fond of Summer because it is such a long Season. Days longer, nights shorter.
I like the Spring. Everything is new and fresh and breezy.


EDIT: It could be the weather. I see those fluffy pollen floating around.
I think that is what got my eyes feeling a tiny bit irritated. I can feel it in my eyes. 
And I been sneezing too these last 2 days whenever the fan is turned on. 
Ha Ha


----------



## tea111red

Painful being alive.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Not bad. I got my hair cut, and it looks nice.


----------



## Daxi004

meds-tired. I'll maybe try another sort

Miss having energy and being fairly manic. Lol


----------



## tea111red

There does not appear to be any path for me to go down? I feel stuck.


----------



## Crisigv

My throat's hurting even more now.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Painful being alive.


:hug

Life is a struggle, even for me. But things happen for a reason, which you don't see until later on down the road.



SamanthaStrange said:


> Not bad. I got my hair cut, and it looks nice.


Awesome. 



tea111red said:


> There does not appear to be any path for me to go down? I feel stuck.


Sometimes things have to happen in your life to get a path. Sometimes you doing something in life, like going somewhere to meet someone or do something which starts it off.



Crisigv said:


> My throat's hurting even more now.


Awwww. :hug

Try this, cover your neck with something warm, does it feel better when you do? If so, a turtle neck top can help keep it warm.

In addition, try some orange juice. Charlies brand or similar as is pure orange juice. That helps to get rid of flu quicker if you caught it (vitamin C). Even cut up oranges might help.

If start of the flu, it doesn't go away after 2 days and takes a week or two to get over if look after self properly.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Black As Day said:


> I am alright.
> For some reason today when I look outside I feel kind of sad/down.
> I think it is the Season. It may be late Spring but Summer is coming.
> I'm not fond of Summer because it is such a long Season. Days longer, nights shorter.
> I like the Spring. Everything is new and fresh and breezy.
> 
> EDIT: It could be the weather. I see those fluffy pollen floating around.
> I think that is what got my eyes feeling a tiny bit irritated. I can feel it in my eyes.
> And I been sneezing too these last 2 days whenever the fan is turned on.
> Ha Ha


Good to hear that you are alright. 

:hug for feeling a bit down.


----------



## NoLife93

Feeling empty and without purpose


----------



## Mabel Pines

NoLife93 said:


> Feeling empty and without purpose


You should create life goals, even if they are little goals that you can achieve each day. It could be as silly as beating your high score in a video game, each day, which would be the little goals, with becoming a master at the game being the big goal.


----------



## MorganMelancholy

worthless, like everything i do inconveniences those around me.


----------



## Mabel Pines

MorganMelancholy said:


> worthless, like everything i do inconveniences those around me.


Maybe that is just a false perception in your head. You have to ask yourself if there is any actual tangible proof of it.


----------



## mobc1990

Depress and sad


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Weak and tired. Id say depressed too, but that's a fact, jack.


----------



## Crisigv

mobc1990 said:


> Depress and sad


Same


----------



## CNikki

Grief. Nobody died. Hopefully I can sleep it off soon.


----------



## 0589471

Me currently, trying to avoid going out or talking to anyone because everyone assumes I need someone else to make me feel better.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Me currently, trying to avoid going out or talking to anyone because everyone assumes I need someone else to make me feel better.


:hug


----------



## Mabel Pines

CNikki said:


> Grief. Nobody died. Hopefully I can sleep it off soon.


I hope you feel better, soon.


----------



## Kevin001

Great......God is so good ugh can't even describe it.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Lol I hate my parents so much and my family and my life. I can't control my anger any longer, I'm gonna clear the house soon and destroy stuff. 

**** me :laugh:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Same as usual. Can't stop missing her. Can't move on with this grief inside me weighing me down.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Relieved. Glad that issue was finally resolved, one less thing to worry about.


----------



## Zatch

Stoked. I get to puppysit. :yay


----------



## Sus y

So sleepy, I need a giant walking coffee, come to me coffee, come, all by your own.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Sus y said:


> So sleepy, I need a giant walking coffee, come to me coffee, come, all by your own.


I wish that I can bring you a large cup of coffee. How many creams and sugar?


----------



## Sus y

Mabel Pines said:


> I wish that I can bring you a large cup of coffee. How many creams and sugar?


Why, thank you! I just had one, it actually came walking to me :b










*Goes back to work*


----------



## Overdrive

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Me currently, trying to avoid going out or talking to anyone because everyone assumes I need someone else to make me feel better.


She was soo hot in Buffy, i remember fantasizing about her back in the days. :lol


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling like a worthless piece of crap.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Crisigv said:


> Feeling like a worthless piece of crap.


I hope you feel better, soon.


----------



## Crisigv

Mabel Pines said:


> I hope you feel better, soon.


I don't think I will


----------



## Mabel Pines

Crisigv said:


> I don't think I will


If you need someone to talk to, you can chat with me or message me, anytime.  I'll try to perk you up.


----------



## Alpha Tauri

Themes of life and mortality make me want to jump off a cliff.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I can't find any peace.


----------



## tea111red

Want my energy levels to increase.


----------



## funnynihilist

Blah


----------



## Crisigv

Feels like I'm being avoided. It hurts.


----------



## AffinityWing

Tired

Still afraid of expecting anything positive, even when I feel I've started doing better. :sigh


----------



## Mabel Pines

AffinityWing said:


> Tired
> 
> Still afraid of expecting anything positive, even when I feel I've started doing better. :sigh


If you ever want to chat, I can say positive things to you to try to make you feel good.


----------



## AffinityWing

Mabel Pines said:


> If you ever want to chat, I can say positive things to you to try to make you feel good.


Thank you, how kind. I'll be alright (I hope? :x) It's become less about coming out a problem, (I've joked to myself I must have a very high survival/endurance rate, considering how many difficulties I've come out of so far seemingly almost completely unscathed.) and more about worrying about how to not have any in the first place. But the universe always seems to close in on you, persistently seeming to want nothing but the bad for you.... It's hard to not worry when it seems no matter how much better I do, that "bad karma" is watching over me.


----------



## Mabel Pines

AffinityWing said:


> Thank you, how kind. I'll be alright (I hope? :x) It's become less about coming out a problem, (I've joked to myself I must have a very high survival/endurance rate, considering how many difficulties I've come out of so far seemingly almost completely unscathed.) and more about worrying about how to not have any in the first place. But the universe always seems to close in on you, persistently seeming to want nothing but the bad for you.... It's hard to not worry when it seems no matter how much better I do, that "bad karma" is watching over me.


Why would you be born with bad karma, though? Were you somebody evil in your previous life?


----------



## Zatch

Just confused is all. Maybe sooner is better.


----------



## MadnessVertigo

Guilty. Always.


----------



## AffinityWing

Mabel Pines said:


> Why would you be born with bad karma, though? Were you somebody evil in your previous life?


Hm, no, maybe if anything I was actually a good person. Now that's why I feel like a bad person now? Or it could be the opposite, who knows. I don't believe in this stuff much now anyway, but I have felt that the world or some higher power has been "toying" with me, for the longest time.


----------



## Mabel Pines

AffinityWing said:


> Hm, no, maybe if anything I was actually a good person. Now that's why I feel like a bad person now? Or it could be the opposite, who knows. I don't believe in this stuff much now anyway, but I have felt that the world or some higher power has been "toying" with me, for the longest time.


It's probably Loki, that little punk. You have to beat the living snot out of him like you do breast cancer.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Feeling like a worthless piece of crap.





Crisigv said:


> I don't think I will





Crisigv said:


> Feels like I'm being avoided. It hurts.


:hug

You need a Koala named Emily -








Pete Beale said:


> I can't find any peace.


I hope you do find peace mate. 



tea111red said:


> Want my energy levels to increase.


Eat correct foods that don't have wheat, soy in them (common ingredients that people react to which makes the body fight and result is get tired).



AffinityWing said:


> Tired
> 
> Still afraid of expecting anything positive, even when I feel I've started doing better. :sigh


:hug

Reminds me of the words in the beginning of this song -


----------



## Deaf Mute

Why is it so hard to find more people... /sigh/ I just want to have a good time. Why does my recreation have to be so niche and difficult for the average person :l I want to be find someone with the same mentality as me but different. 

Why does everything have to be so disappointing =.=


----------



## birddookie

@*Alpha Tauri* Sorry to hear that, what about it makes you want to jump off a cliff?

@*karenw* Hope the rest of your day goes smoothly.:boogie

@*funnynihilist* Nothing like a glass of Pepsi Cola to turn a Blah into an Ahhh.

@*tea111red* Have any idea what is causing it? I've learned that Depression, lack of sleep, exercise, and eating poorly can cause lack of energy. It's possible there are other reasons, that is why I ask. If you don't know try to get more sleep, eat better, and exercise more to see if that helps. My lack of energy is usually linked to lack of sleep and exercise. When those are being adequately fulfilled I feel a lot better. Best wishes on becoming more energetic.:cup
@*Crisigv* Sorry to hear that you feel like you're being avoided, hope that's not the case. I'm here for you if you want to talk.:squeeze

@*Zatch* Anything you want to talk about, maybe we can make sense of it, if not hope you stop being confused.:hug

@*MadnessVertigo* Hope you stop feeling guilty, is there anything you can do about fixing what is making you feel guilty?

@*ANX1* That Koala is even cute, just like @*Crisigv* . The scene and photos of the hug would cause an Awwwpedimic.:O

@*Deaf Mute* What are some things you like to do that is tough to find a crowd for?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Amused. 

I've posted semi-positive moods in here the last few times, what is happening? :lol


----------



## AffinityWing

Mabel Pines said:


> It's probably Loki, that little punk. You have to beat the living snot out of him like you do breast cancer.


:lol


----------



## tea111red

@ANX1 thanks, but I doubt that will help.
@birddookie my mom drains a lot of my energy. Depression...yes. Anxiety...yes. Poor sleep...yes.


----------



## tea111red

I need some kind of supernatural strength and for some miracles to happen.


----------



## mobc1990

Not too bad,haha


----------



## CNikki

I'm going to keep going. However 'feeling' that is described, that's what I am and will do.


----------



## Mabel Pines

CNikki said:


> I'm going to keep going. However 'feeling' that is described, that's what I am and will do.


Reach for the stars, my love.


----------



## EarthDominator

I hate myself so much, I deserve only pain.


----------



## masterridley

I'm feeling really really down. Not sure if it's from the pointlessness of it all or because I slept at 5am last night and I'm really mega-tired right now.


----------



## Zatch

Missing someone deeply. You know who you are. I can't stop feeling like I'm the culprit.


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling OK,just that I didn’t sleep very well last night,need to sleep better


----------



## Crisigv

Out of place


----------



## Marakunda

Drunk as ****ing ****. Holy **** I am such a damn mess And I lovvee it


----------



## Marakunda

Shout out to my people living with anxiety! Living life on hard mode bois! Holy ****.......


----------



## Methodical

I have a long reading list that I'll never finish, new music that I'll never get to, important films that I'll never watch, and I feel like I don't have time for anything. I feel inadequate because I'm not cultured enough to talk about different topics. I just feel stupid.


----------



## Mabel Pines

CNikki said:


> I'm going to keep going. However 'feeling' that is described, that's what I am and will do.


Keep truckin' along. That's the *insert your country* way.


----------



## tea111red

Still living this nightmare.


----------



## CNikki

Mabel Pines said:


> Keep truckin' along. That's the *insert your country* way.


Thanks, again. I'm a bit better today. 

Can't say about country, even though I do have family who fought for it. But I do know about what I grew up with as an Irish trait - we fight.


----------



## Dai Evans

Optimistic.

I'm hoping my efforts with taking steps towards a better future for myself are going to pay off... they WILL pay off, positive thoughts.


----------



## Kuraiko

sad and worthless also angry at myself


----------



## Mabel Pines

Kuraiko said:


> sad and worthless also angry at myself


I hope you feel better, soon.


----------



## Zatch

Clueless as all hell! I don't know how today is gonna go, still waiting for friends to be done with work. I should've ordered a cake!



Marakunda said:


> Drunk as ****ing ****. Holy **** I am such a damn mess And I lovvee it


I like you!


----------



## Crisigv

Lifeless. I couldn't get out of bed and I've had zero energy since I did. Eating, coffee, drinking water hasn't helped. I've almost fallen off my ladder a few times already. I just want to sleep forever.


----------



## masterridley

Suicidal, read about Bourdain again, cried a little (not for him, for me). Then just restlessness and endless contemplation of the inevitable. Can't turn my life around.


----------



## funnynihilist

Crisigv said:


> Lifeless. I couldn't get out of bed and I've had zero energy since I did. Eating, coffee, drinking water hasn't helped. I've almost fallen off my ladder a few times already. I just want to sleep forever.


Same. Totally drained. Tank is empty.


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling okay,Yesterday I couldn’t fall asleep,but I tried to sleep and later could sleep after I relax myself a little


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely.


----------



## Methodical

I ate burger king today and I feel like death.


----------



## Daxi004

Alone. AND IT DOESN'T FEEL GOOD


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed and lonely and longing. What else is new?


----------



## llodell88

when you are kid, teen, etc, and you feel like **** you don't understand it's not going to last forever, by your 20s hopefully you figure out it's not like that, and that's what i learned but now i'm back to feeling like i'm never going to be able to overcome or get better from this all of this stuff. i really feel like the consequences of everything i've dealt with are never going to go away.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Methodical said:


> I ate burger king today and I feel like death.


I kind of feel like the last 10 posters of this thread should stay away from eating Burger King food. And I know that I'm being presumptuous. 0


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Numb and empty.


----------



## unemployment simulator

my mind is ok, my stomach is a bit topsy turvy though.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

llodell88 said:


> when you are kid, teen, etc, and you feel like **** you don't understand it's not going to last forever, by your 20s hopefully you figure out it's not like that, and that's what i learned but now i'm back to feeling like i'm never going to be able to overcome or get better from this all of this stuff. i really feel like the consequences of everything i've dealt with are never going to go away.


Feel the same. :frown2:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I haven't been outside for over 2 weeks. Cancelled a meet and I'm starting to avoid people again. I feel ****ing worthless and powerless. I'm genuinely worried now that I'll top myself at some point. I feel lonely and alone now. I relied on someone else for far too long and now I'm lost. I've never felt so ****ed up, weak and fragile as I do now.


----------



## Rains

Quite insane.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed. Hopeless. Trapped.


----------



## CNikki

Really drowsy.


----------



## YoloKing123

I feel anxious for some reason. I have lots of thoughts racing through my head. I'm currently reading some self help anxiety online but I find it difficult to concentrate.


----------



## La Vida

I feel like I want to develop a whole new identity and run away so I can start my life over. I just don’t feel okay at all and life only seems to be getting worse for me the older I get


----------



## loneranger

Depressed and in need of affection.


----------



## CNikki

Honestly...numb.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lost

I don't know how I'm supposed to go from only ever having her in my life, literally only her for YEARS, to her being gone.

I'm socializing with other's for the first time in YEARS, but none of them are her. I can't feel anything towards them and it's making me not want to bother with people and just give up.

How can I find anyone close to her? How can I move on, when ultimately, I don't want to. I never wanted to. 

I feel ill ALL THE TIME over this!!!!! :crying:


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Crappy.


----------



## Hate It Or Love It

Long day at work here in an hour and a half. Not looking forward to it!


----------



## The Linux Guy

Feeling mixed up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> @*ANX1* thanks, but I doubt that will help.
> @*birddookie* my mom drains a lot of my energy. Depression...yes. Anxiety...yes. Poor sleep...yes.


You're welcome. 

Oh, ok. :sigh :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

birddookie said:


> @*ANX1* That Koala is even cute, just like @*Crisigv* . The scene and photos of the hug would cause an Awwwpedimic.:O


A whole crowd of awwwwww, cuteeeee.


----------



## momentsunset

Not that great. I keep thinking about the times I've been rejected, and by people who didn't give a completely clear reason why so I'm thinking of all the possible reasons I was lacking to them and feeling down. I can accept my flaws and love myself 100% and it's not really that I'm feeling down about my flaws but feeling down that people can judge and reject someone for so many things.. really stupid things too that shouldn't even matter so much.


----------



## tea111red

Bored and headed towards numb.

Edit: maybe apathetic is a better description.


----------



## Kinable

I threw up 5 different times last night and today I feel awful. I took a nap and feel better now but I haven't eaten all day and I don't feel hungry. I'm afraid if I eat I'll throw whatever I ate back up, I am drinking water though.


----------



## Mabel Pines

momentsunset said:


> Not that great. I keep thinking about the times I've been rejected, and by people who didn't give a completely clear reason why so I'm thinking of all the possible reasons I was lacking to them and feeling down. I can accept my flaws and love myself 100% and it's not really that I'm feeling down about my flaws but feeling down that people can judge and reject someone for so many things.. really stupid things too that shouldn't even matter so much.


I would never reject you.  Wanna be friends? 0 You can message me, anytime, if you ever want someone to talk to.


----------



## llodell88

that feeling like i'm tiring, the day is over, but it doesn't really feel like it's over at the same time, and i feel like i should stay up because i'm not ready, but i'm really tired and should go to bed because it's 12:30


----------



## tea111red

Hideous
Worthless to men


----------



## tea111red

of course that .....thing would start crap again when feeling so low. great timing.


----------



## tntntnntntnt

Bad. Unnoticed. Easy prey for bullies.. Not that I seek pity from others but it is what it is


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A bit overwhelmed


----------



## Ominous Indeed

Horrible! My day is ruined ...


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Indifferent.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Miserable without her in my life. I needed her to save me from myself. 

Really hard spending all your life alone, then having someone you've always longed for to come into it, then they get taken away.

She was my anti depressant. Lifted my mood like nothing else ever did.

Wish I had the balls to get drunk and just shoot a bag of heroin into my arm tbh.


----------



## funnynihilist

Sore


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Really hard spending all your life alone, then having someone you've always longed for to come into it, then they get taken away.


:yes :yes :yes


----------



## tea111red

Too hideous to go out in public.


----------



## twistix

Lonely as ever


----------



## caelle

Feeling great now that I'm done with work and have 3 days off. I had a headache from hell last night that lasted into my work day. I'm exhausted.


----------



## Mabel Pines

twistix said:


> Lonely as ever


Wanna be friends? You can message me or chat with me, anytime, you'd like. I'm always available. 0


----------



## Zatch

Empty and impatient with life. Still bottling things up.


----------



## Mabel Pines

caelle said:


> Feeling great now that I'm done with work and have 3 days off. I had a headache from hell last night that lasted into my work day. I'm exhausted.


Lol, you are the only one that's feeling great while everybody else is feeling depressed, lonely or empty inside. 0

And to those people that are feeling miserable, I hope that you guys feel better, soon.


----------



## twistix

Mabel Pines said:


> Wanna be friends? You can message me or chat with me, anytime, you'd like. I'm always available. 0


Thank you.
I'm always glad to make friends. I'm not the most talkative though.


----------



## Crisigv

a little numb, not good not bad


----------



## Mabel Pines

twistix said:


> Thank you.
> I'm always glad to make friends. I'm not the most talkative though.


Can I send you a friend request? 0


----------



## Crisigv

Disconnected from the world and anyone I've ever known.


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling frustrated


----------



## Zatch

Crisigv said:


> Disconnected from the world and anyone I've ever known.


Seconded. I know exactly what's led to me feeling this way too, and it pisses me off to no end in sight.

It hurts feeling so _so_ far away from the few people I have closest to me.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Pretty bummed. I feel like a bum too.


----------



## Mabel Pines

Wanderlust26 said:


> Pretty bummed. I feel like a bum too.


What are you bummed about, if I may ask? I hope you feel better, soon. 0


----------



## SofaKing

Pretty accomplished. It's a minor thing to some, but I managed to get up early and exercise while on a business trip.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> Pretty accomplished. It's a minor thing to some, but I managed to get up early and exercise while on a business trip.


Well done.:smile2:

I remember the day's where I'd get up at 4 am and lift weights for 2 hours, then go and work in a drop forge for 8. :blank

Wish I could get back to that level of discipline. Feels like it was someone else who did that now.


----------



## hateliving

like ****. I can't sleep so it gives me pounding headaches!

Those cats hugging are so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Miserable.


----------



## Crisigv

SofaKing said:


> Pretty accomplished. It's a minor thing to some, but I managed to get up early and exercise while on a business trip.


:clap


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Miserable and hopeless. 

I need to be saved from this by someone!


----------



## Mabel Pines

hateliving said:


> like ****. I can't sleep so it gives me pounding headaches!
> 
> Those cats hugging are so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11


Are you able to take headache medicine for it? 0


----------



## Zatch

Slept way longer than I thought I would. At least I didn't take the sleep tonic, probably would've taken more than I needed.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Just had a massive breakdown and it's the closest I've ever come to having myself sectioned. I can't keep feeling like this.


----------



## Crisigv

Restless. My feet hurt. I just want my shift to be over. Keep stumbling on my words, dropping things, and getting the usual weird looks from people.


----------



## Tomatmacka

A bit empty and tired.


----------



## funnynihilist

Headachey


----------



## zonebox

Not too shabby, watching a massive fight scene in the movie "The Battle of the Five Armies". I've watched the other two movies already, and will follow it up with the LOTR trilogy over the next few days.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

zonebox said:


> Not too shabby, watching a massive fight scene in the movie "The Battle of the Five Armies". I've watched the other two movies already, and will follow it up with the LOTR trilogy over the next few days.


I marathoned all the extended Hobbits and LoTR a few months ago, and I didn't really like that film as much (it was the second time I'd watched it, and first time with extended edition) and felt like they'd kind of messed up a bit by trying to get everything to stretch to three films. But I thought the fight scenes during the battle were pretty cool especially the scale. I do still like the LoTR trilogy more though I guess.

This part was cool too:


* *


----------



## versikk

I might be on the verge of another psychical evolution. Cognitively pathological as always but perhaps a little bit less so? 
I feel physically closer to being able to start exercising which is... refreshing to say the least. Scared of procrastination setting in. 
this post did not end up the way I wanted it to.

I don't even know what to do with my gender. all I know is I feel extremely disgusting with body hair (which isn't necessarily tied to gender at all since all humans have body hair).

I am Sisyphus in a very real (and maybe roundabout?) way because as soon as I do not produce or act my subconscious punishes me severely.


----------



## zonebox

Persephone The Dread said:


> I marathoned all the extended Hobbits and LoTR a few months ago, and I didn't really like that film as much (it was the second time I'd watched it, and first time with extended edition) and felt like they'd kind of messed up a bit by trying to get everything to stretch to three films. But I thought the fight scenes during the battle were pretty cool especially the scale. I do still like the LoTR trilogy more though I guess.
> 
> This part was cool too:
> 
> 
> * *


Oh for sure, I find the lotr trilogy to be much better. I'm saving the best for last  Although, I do wish a new fantasy themed movie would be released already, I need my fix! The last fantasy movie I remember watching at the movie theaters was "Warcraft", which I enjoyed mostly due to being a former fan of the MMO, but even that was lacking compared to the lotr trilogy.. I'm afraid we might never get such a fine line of fantasy themed movies again.

Oh well, there are always horror flicks to hold me over.


----------



## unemployment simulator

I'm fed up of being depressed and having chronic low self esteem and insecurity,it's ruining my hopes of getting anything in life, I just cannot see a way out of this! I feel completely isolated and stuck.I don't ask for much I just want to live a normal ****ing life. I feel like I'm unreachable and untreatable ,I've tried everything and I've got nowhere and all I get is my family or the job centre or doctors telling me just do this or that, if it's that's simple I wouldn't have been depressed for so long! There are no simple solutions to complex problems and I am a complex problem.


----------



## funnynihilist

May have ate too many carrots and almonds before dinner. Now I have cramps.


----------



## PandaBearx

Sad 😪


----------



## alienbird

PandaBearx said:


> Sad &#128554;


Sorry you're feeling sad. :squeeze


----------



## IcedOver

I'm not feeling the best. The other day I had a lame experience at the first horror movie convention I've ever been to, the _Dawn of the Dead_ 40th, and my social anxieties, overthinking, and OCD are bothering me about it. I also can't believe nearly half the year is done, and nothing to show for it.


----------



## CNikki

Not so bad. I'll try to keep that up for the next few days.

I just think that by sharing what I have been sharing lately that it might come back to bite me. I don't want to 'back out' by deleting them, either. I've contemplated that a few times within the past few weeks with certain platforms but I know that by doing so it'll make some other folks who disagree with me 'win' and think that they'll silence me in some way. I've really been trying with the whole 'not caring what other people think' but sometimes I slip...we all do that to some extent, right? I know lately it's been that way.

I'll remain true to myself. I feel better when I do so. Could be after so many years trying to please those who are older than me (seems to be a cultural thing with us - 'respecting your elders' type of thing) that I one day broke and just stopped caring, regardless of who it is that ends up having a problem.



IcedOver said:


> I also can't believe nearly half the year is done, and nothing to show for it.


Same here...I vowed to myself that things will change because it's about damn time that I do so. But hey, we still have the remaining half. I'm still hoping to go through with some things that I said I would.


----------



## riverbird

Anxious. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning. I haven't been to the dentist in a long time due to not having dental insurance, dental anxiety/phobia, and depression making me not even care. I really should have seen about getting something for anxiety for it...


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I just had two veggie fajitas, and a bowl of soup, as well as am sipping on iced coffee. The fajitas are tasty, I boil soy curls in a broth made from "Better than Bouillon No Chicken Base" which tastes like chicken, the curls pick up the flavor. Then I pour out the broth in a separate bowl, mix and cook the flavored curls with some peppers and onion, some salt, cumin, lime juice, and a bit of Cayenne powder to give it a kick. I boil noodles in the left over broth, and viola, a good lunch.

The coffee is simply two cups of cashew milk, two cups of coffee, lots of splenda and a bit of hazelnut mixed with a lot of ice to fill a big jug. 

Total calories for everything, including coffee 629. 

Now I'm feeling pretty full and good, I'm thinking of being lazy today and playing some games. I've been goofing around with "Shadow Run", an awesome game for SNES, alternatively we could go out to the park, but it is kind of hot out right now.


----------



## momentsunset

Livid, but at least I'm feeling something. I used to be numb and passive to most things so even extreme anger or sadness is welcome.


----------



## Crisigv

Really sad. I keep seeing all the flags on people's cars and stupid Italy didn't qualify for the World Cup. Grrrr


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Haunted.

I'm haunted by the way it ended with her. I feel guilty about things I said to her in anger, and I need to be able to discuss what happened. She always said she wanted to be normal, and I always told her how normal she was to me, but the way it ended wasn't normal. I want to talk things over. That's what normal people do, especially ones who have such a long history and are supposed to care about each other. I still care about her deeply and still worry about her. 

I can't keep carrying all these thoughts and feelings around with me. I need to feel the relief of being able to talk to her and discuss things.

My depression is so bad now it's affecting my family, and we're all too old to feel like this.


----------



## llodell88

bored

what is pleasure


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling alright,could sleep well last night 🙂


----------



## funnynihilist

Real bad


----------



## zonebox

Slightly inebriated, and feeling pretty good right now.


----------



## llodell88

like i ate too much bad food and im suffering for it now and im worried about getting fat about it cause whatever you lose in a week youre gonna gain it all back if you splurge just one day


----------



## Zatch

Like I did the right thing.


----------



## tea111red

Stuck. Don't know what to do.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Meh.


----------



## Mabel Pines

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Meh.


I hope you feel yay! soon. 0


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Absent.

Blank.

Empty.

Longing.

Numb.


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Absent.
> 
> Blank.
> 
> Empty.
> 
> Longing.
> 
> Numb.


:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Stressed.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> :hug


Right back at you sweetheart. :hug


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Right back at you sweetheart. :hug


Thanks. I really appreciate it.


----------



## Wanderlust26

A little more confident now that I've practiced memorizing my script (aka interview answers).


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Not too bad. It's not easy changing your life and doing what you need to, to improve said life.


----------



## Zatch

Felt pretty bad for a few days, now I have chips and salsa. Payday's tomorrow, hanging with friends, and Incredibles 2! Feeling great!


----------



## Mabel Pines

Wanderlust26 said:


> A little more confident now that I've practiced memorizing my script (aka interview answers).


I hope you nail the interview and land the job. 0


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Wanderlust26 said:


> A little more confident now that I've practiced memorizing my script (aka interview answers).


Good to hear. 

Wish you the best at the interview.


----------



## Crisigv

A bit nervous. I have to interview someone tomorrow. Maybe two people. I'll probably be freaking out more than them.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> A bit nervous. I have to interview someone tomorrow. Maybe two people. I'll probably be freaking out more than them.


You can do this. 

Now where is my pom poms.  

You can do this, yes you can. :grin2:

Probably telling you what you already know. As long as you follow the questions and get a person that fills the specs of the position (CV) and fits into the team.


----------



## CTouln

Not really good because of a big unexpected expense. I can't sleep normally since then because of that.


----------



## Crisigv

ANX1 said:


> You can do this.
> 
> Now where is my pom poms.
> 
> You can do this, yes you can. :grin2:
> 
> Probably telling you what you already know. As long as you follow the questions and get a person that fills the specs of the position (CV) and fits into the team.


Yeah, being the assistant manager I know everything about the job. I have some job specific questions to ask, along with the general ones everyone knows already. If I like the person, then my boss will do a second interview.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Yeah, being the assistant manager I know everything about the job. I have some job specific questions to ask, along with the general ones everyone knows already. If I like the person, then my boss will do a second interview.


:yes

If have SA (or sometimes without), always like that up until a stressful situation. Remember, it is just driving through that fear as is false fear. You have done things like this before.

Remember -






In addition, breathe in, out fully to help feel less anxious.


----------



## tea111red

Hate having to live w/ so many unresolved things.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Hate having to live w/ so many unresolved things.


I hope they resolve themselves over time. :hug


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> I hope they resolve themselves over time. :hug


It's hard to make decisions when it comes to certain things because my options seem equally as bad.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> It's hard to make decisions when it comes to certain things because my options seem equally as bad.


Usually there are sometimes options that are not seen until a situation happens in your life that reveals those options. Takes time to learn life lessons leading up to that situation which helps you deal with it better.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> Hate having to live w/ so many unresolved things.





tea111red said:


> It's hard to make decisions when it comes to certain things because my options seem equally as bad.


Can completely relate to this. :frown2:


----------



## scooby

My wrist is so ****ed up right now. Not so good.


----------



## Neal

Officially depressed.


----------



## twistix

Hurt, sad, unnecessary


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Conflicted.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Alone.


----------



## Crisigv

Pretty good. I survived giving my first ever interview. There were two initially scheduled, but the first never showed up. It was probably a fail in terms of interviews, but a win in terms of SA.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

^ "Two thumbs up"


----------



## Crisigv

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> ^ "Two thumbs up"


Is that for me? :grin2:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Is that for me? :grin2:


Yes, it is. Teehee! >

In all seriousness, good on you for facing your fears. You should be very proud of yourself.

^ That part is genuine.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Pretty good. I survived giving my first ever interview. There were two initially scheduled, but the first never showed up. It was probably a fail in terms of interviews, but a win in terms of SA.


Awesome. 

I knew you could do it.


----------



## SplendidBob

Like the best friend I knew for 25+ years had been basically entirely bull****ting the entire time.

Kinda ripped my guts out.


----------



## Ffalgate

Really quite depressed. I don’t do social situations really at all, and the past two weeks I’ve worked up the confidence to meet up with people and both times I agreed to hang out, they cancelled on me like 30 minutes before. I don’t know it’s just really crap when SA then gets the better of you and you start to believe everyone genuinely hates you and now I feel I should just stay in bed completely... I just want to feel normal.


----------



## Harlin

really depressed feeling like a burden


----------



## PurplePeopleEater




----------



## CNikki

I guess okay. Had some actual discussions with folks and said some things I longed to tell them. Just wish it didn't have to be so brief and take this long...and yes, there were some emotional moments. But I kept it low key, so I'm proud of that.


----------



## Great Expectations

Ffalgate said:


> Really quite depressed. I don't do social situations really at all, and the past two weeks I've worked up the confidence to meet up with people and both times I agreed to hang out, they cancelled on me like 30 minutes before. I don't know it's just really crap when SA then gets the better of you and you start to believe everyone genuinely hates you and now I feel I should just stay in bed completely... I just want to feel normal.


Very normal, it has nothing to do with you. They might be nervous or just flakes. As long as you put in the 
effort, you can't blame yourself.

You think everyone else is normal because you don't know anything about them...they are not as normal
as you think!


----------



## Crisigv

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Yes, it is. Teehee! >
> 
> In all seriousness, good on you for facing your fears. You should be very proud of yourself.
> 
> ^ That part is genuine.





ANX1 said:


> Awesome.
> 
> I knew you could do it.


Thanks guys.

Feeling like worthless garbage atm. :sigh


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Annoyed. Skype keeps disconnecting and messing up my Friday night flirting.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Thanks guys.
> 
> Feeling like worthless garbage atm. :sigh


No problem, we can but try to lift your mood!

Sorry you are feeling like worthless garbage again.  :hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Annoyed. Skype keeps disconnecting and messing up my Friday night flirting.


Blame Microsoft for any bugs in their programs. >

Good luck with your flirtations m'lady.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Blame Microsoft for any bugs in their programs. >
> 
> Good luck with your flirtations m'lady.


Yeah, I do blame Microsoft. :bah

Thanks for your support. :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Thanks guys.
> 
> Feeling like worthless garbage atm. :sigh


You're welcome. 

:hug

Maybe some interesting food might distract for a little while -


----------



## Taaylah

Bored. And I’ve been doing things lately, socializing in real life and getting out of the house. But there’s a constant underlying sense of boredom that I can’t get away from. Nothing is that interesting to me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

splendidbob said:


> Like the best friend I knew for 25+ years had been basically entirely bull****ting the entire time.
> 
> Kinda ripped my guts out.


Sorry to hear mate. :sigh



Harlin said:


> really depressed feeling like a burden


Nah, you are awesome. :hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


>


:hug



CNikki said:


> I guess okay. Had some actual discussions with folks and said some things I longed to tell them. Just wish it didn't have to be so brief and take this long...and yes, there were some emotional moments. But I kept it low key, so I'm proud of that.


Awesome. 



SamanthaStrange said:


> Annoyed. Skype keeps disconnecting and messing up my Friday night flirting.


Which man is it this time?

I have trouble keeping up with the latest trend (men you flirt with).


----------



## SamanthaStrange

ANX1 said:


> Which man is it this time?
> 
> I have trouble keeping up with the latest trend (men you flirt with).


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


>


Oh, him.  :grin2:


----------



## llodell88

nausea


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Really depressed and avoidant. Haven't been outside for almost a month. I miss her terribly and don't know what to do. I have no desire to live at all. I can't move on because of losing her and the hole I dug for myself years ago.


----------



## Ffalgate

CerealKiller said:


> Ffalgate said:
> 
> 
> 
> Really quite depressed. I don't do social situations really at all, and the past two weeks I've worked up the confidence to meet up with people and both times I agreed to hang out, they cancelled on me like 30 minutes before. I don't know it's just really crap when SA then gets the better of you and you start to believe everyone genuinely hates you and now I feel I should just stay in bed completely... I just want to feel normal.
> 
> 
> 
> Very normal, it has nothing to do with you. They might be nervous or just flakes. As long as you put in the
> effort, you can't blame yourself.
> 
> You think everyone else is normal because you don't know anything about them...they are not as normal
> as you think!
Click to expand...

 you're right, thank you for the support it really means a lot &#128578;


----------



## Wren611

Angry.


----------



## F888BEINGSOCIAL

Honestly, I'm just a little sick of being called awkward all the time. It really ruins my confidence and I can't exactly recall the last time I really trusted someone. It's like I don't even know what the word "friend" or "friendship" means anymore and don't want to either. It's like I'm casting an illusion over myself always telling myself there is no such thing. I know there is, but it's just so much easier to pretend people are just being themselves no matter who they talk to. It makes it easier to accept the truth. The truth that I am sometimes really lonely
Thanks for asking btw...


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel pretty good. I made a Tumblr account to blog about my drawing and writing my comic stories and to help and inspire people who's artwork is bad.
I had a Tumblr before in the past but I had deleted it. {This is like my 3rd or 4th account I made again}
This Blog would help me keep my mind off of things like having no friend and moving on from past friends. 
Besides there is nothing for me here on SAS so I am slowly pulling myself away.


----------



## Arthur Pendragon

I wish I could draw. I wish I had the willingness to invest the time to draw. I wish I wasn't so critical of everything so that I can feel that I'm not hopeless when it comes to drawing. I wish I started earlier, so that my skills aren't so crude now. I wish I had a good memory so that I can finish drawing what I remember. I wish I could remember things. What did I wish could be drawn again?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Kind of lonely.

Again.

What else is new?


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy


----------



## Wanderlust26

Nervous


----------



## Taaylah

deetzy said:


>


Me too :cry


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Black As Day said:


> I feel pretty good. I made a Tumblr account to blog about my drawing and writing my comic stories and to help and inspire people who's artwork is bad.
> I had a Tumblr before in the past but I had deleted it. {This is like my 3rd or 4th account I made again}
> This Blog would help me keep my mind off of things like having no friend and moving on from past friends.
> Besides there is nothing for me here on SAS so I am slowly pulling myself away.


We will miss you and your doodles. 



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Kind of lonely.
> 
> Again.
> 
> What else is new?


Keep yourself occupied and shouldn't overthink.



Crisigv said:


> Crappy


:hug



Wanderlust26 said:


> Nervous


:hug


----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## love is like a dream

lonely


----------



## Zatch

Coincidence said:


> lonely


Same here. Up to chat?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Trapped.


----------



## SplendidBob

Feeling of total apathy. Sleeping all the time, no energy. Recent events have knocked the winds out of my sails to say the least.

Going to just try to get back moving again by doing some of the basic stuff on my reward chart and make myself wake up early, even if its modafinil fuelled,


----------



## CNikki

Annoyed. Some people are a real pain in the ***.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Sad, numb, weary.

The immediate aftermath of breakups is purely brutal, no matter the reasons why things ended.

The only remedy to heal is as usual, time and distance. Lots of time, and lots of distance.


----------



## masterridley

Lost. (in a Starbucks trying to study while feeling like ****)


----------



## hobocollector

i feel like paused.Like watching life without effecting anything


----------



## Taaylah

Frustrated! The way my family talk to me about my anxiety and depression is so frustrating. I understand they’re trying to help, but their advice is stuff like “take deep breaths, get sunshine”. I already do stuff like that, and I exercise regularly. That stuff isn’t going to cure me that’s not how it works. I kind of regret telling them anything at all at this point. Also my mom just broke up with her boyfriend again but we’re still living here so this should be fun.


----------



## mobc1990

Tired


----------



## Crisigv

Feel like garbage. Have a headache that's making me dizzy and nauseous. Already took a pill so I need to eat, but I don't want to.

Edit: feeling better already


----------



## CNikki

Like I need to throw up.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Manipulated. Stupid. Angry. Anxious.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Like I need to throw up.


 :rub



SamanthaStrange said:


> Manipulated. Stupid. Angry. Anxious.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## Harlin

like the world is closing in on me

discouraged, lonely, pissed off

and scared cuz there are four huge spiders in my room and i dont know where any of them went


----------



## Kevin001

Harlin said:


> like the world is closing in on me
> 
> discouraged, lonely, pissed off
> 
> and scared cuz there are four huge spiders in my room and i dont know where any of them went


Think happy thoughts! Lol

The spider thing is scary though :serious:


----------



## toouncoolforschool

Feeling hopeless. Like I'll never be able to live a fulfilling life like normal people do.


----------



## riverbird

Terrible. Today has been an off and on panic session. It's so draining.


----------



## 0589471

Restless, angry, frustrated, sad, and hopeless. Trapped...drowning...I just want to disappear.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Restless, angry, frustrated, sad, and hopeless. Trapped...drowning...I just want to disappear.


I can relate. :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

riverbird said:


> Terrible. Today has been an off and on panic session. It's so draining.


Hope things get better for you.

 :hug :squeeze



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Restless, angry, frustrated, sad, and hopeless. Trapped...drowning...I just want to disappear.


Stay strong my friend.

 :hug :squeeze :kiss


----------



## Ominous Indeed




----------



## mobc1990

Feeling depress,but I don’t have self harm


----------



## Cascades

Annoyed. I feel like I just can't be alone to think or to just be by myself, to read a fuxking book in complete silence. I can't have a journal to write out how I feel because there's snoops who like to look through my ****. Now, here, I don't think I can even type how I feel anymore because my posts are possibly being watched (_Hi btw. I know you're gonna quizz me on this post, I don't mean to be rude but damn, come on. Let me snap, let me be frustrated. _). Like fuxk, can never have my own space. Tell me how you feel, just say what's on your mind they say. Well I can't because when I do I always seem to offend someone, start a fight or hurt them. So now, they wonder why I sit there and hold everything in, never speaking my mind and then suddenly I'm the bad guy.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pretty good. My meeting went well and I should be getting started with another at-home data-entry position very soon.

Getting a little extra money each month will be pretty sweet too.


----------



## Zatch

My eye hurts like hell. There's also blood all over my pillow from last night and I can't piece together where it came from.


----------



## 3stacks

Zatch said:


> My eye hurts like hell. There's also blood all over my pillow from last night and I can't piece together where it came from.


Hopefully it didn't come from your eye lol


----------



## unsocial lego

feeling like i wish i was never born or like i just want to lay in bed forever


----------



## Wanderlust26

Relieved


----------



## TryingMara

Relaxed


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry. Need to eat dinner.


----------



## 0589471

better go feed yourself then!! lol :squeeze


iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Hungry. Need to eat dinner.


----------



## llodell88

super lazy, why do have to move, why


----------



## cubsfandave

Depressed


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> better go feed yourself then!! lol :squeeze


:blush

Oh stop it you!! lol :squeeze


----------



## 0589471

*hands you a sandwich* I know I always got you covered  lol


iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :blush
> 
> Oh stop it you!! lol :squeeze


----------



## twistix

Insecure, forgettable


----------



## AllGlad

Kinda pissed...


I agreed to meet someone on kijiji to purchase some video games, I said I would meet him between 6 to 630, he texts me at 5:50 cancelling the meeting saying that he found another buyer. Luckily for me, he lived kinda close to me so, I just went home.
Gave him a text telling him that what he did wasn't cool.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

AllGlad said:


> Kinda pissed...
> 
> I agreed to meet someone on kijiji to purchase some video games, I said I would meet him between 6 to 630, he texts me at 5:50 cancelling the meeting saying that he found another buyer. Luckily for me, he lived kinda close to me so, I just went home.
> 
> Gave him a text telling him that what he did wasn't cool.


Sounds like a douche move on his part.


----------



## 0589471

if there is some sort of rating system you should totally give him a crap review for that. Not cool.


AllGlad said:


> Kinda pissed...
> 
> I agreed to meet someone on kijiji to purchase some video games, I said I would meet him between 6 to 630, he texts me at 5:50 cancelling the meeting saying that he found another buyer. Luckily for me, he lived kinda close to me so, I just went home.
> Gave him a text telling him that what he did wasn't cool.


----------



## birddookie

@*unsocial lego* Best wishes on you feeling better.:smile2:

@*cubsfandave* Hope you feel better.:hug

@*twistix* :squeeze What's got you insecured? The world is missing out on a great person, from the posts I seen of yours on here you're a kind and cool person. Also, your avatar is unforgettable. It's in perfect beat with Haddaway - What is love. Try it 

Feeling great, my bowling team won teams in the USBC state tournament.:boogie
.


----------



## MorganMelancholy

I feel better, anxiety wise anyway, but my depression is in full swing baby 👌


----------



## AllGlad

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> if there is some sort of rating system you should totally give him a crap review for that. Not cool.


Unfortunately there is no review system... Kijiji is used much more here than Craigslist... Tis the way it is....


----------



## Taaylah

I don’t feel good today


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

:crying:


----------



## llodell88

annoyed


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Taaylah said:


> I don't feel good today


:hug



llodell88 said:


> annoyed


:hug


----------



## Rebootplease

Like a zombie, an empty slab of meat, like a human sized london broil. No life in and out. Missed out, too late, never changing, like a fool, like everyone else but completely different. Greatful but ungreatful, bitter, over dramatic, serious. Lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Frustrated. Confused. Anxious. Depressed.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> Frustrated. Confused. Anxious. Depressed.


:hug


----------



## Crisigv

Extremely drained. Just got out of bed, but took so long to fall asleep because of my restless legs and crying. I'm just sitting at the table trying to eat breakfast, and I feel breathless.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Nervous...


----------



## Harlin

Like I'm not helping anyone by living. Like all I'm doing is tearing people apart. Like I was just never worth anything. Like people have shut me out for a really good reason.


----------



## Tomatmacka

Harlin said:


> Like I'm not helping anyone by living. Like all I'm doing is tearing people apart. Like I was just never worth anything. Like people have shut me out for a really good reason.


You're not helping anyone by dying.


----------



## Harlin

Tomatmacka said:


> You're not helping anyone by dying.


Sometimes it's the best option to provide a little leg room for the ****s that think I'm worthless.


----------



## Tomatmacka

Harlin said:


> Sometimes it's the best option to provide a little leg room for the ****s that think I'm worthless.


Don't you worry about room. There's plenty of room for everyone. Trade places with them, then everyone's happy.

If you suddenly decide in your life to help one new person with something, anything, no matter how small it may be, every month for the rest of your life, you have done way more than you would have done if you were dead.


----------



## 3stacks

Harlin said:


> Like I'm not helping anyone by living. Like all I'm doing is tearing people apart. Like I was just never worth anything. Like people have shut me out for a really good reason.


 You help me a whole lot that's for sure. You amazing woman, you. Anyone that could shut you out doesn't realise what a great and supportive person they're missing out on.


----------



## Ai

Pained and heartbroken. Really hurt myself while getting ready for work yesterday, and thus had a pretty miserable day. Then, when I got home, my mother informed me that one of my cats had suddenly died without warning...

I am devastated. 

I haven't made it more than an hour without crying since.

Talk about a s*itty day.





I miss my beautiful girl. :crying:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ai said:


> Pained and heartbroken. Really hurt myself while getting ready for work yesterday, and thus had a pretty miserable day. Then, when I got home, my mother informed me that one of my cats had suddenly died without warning...
> 
> I am devastated.
> 
> I haven't made it more than an hour without crying since.
> 
> Talk about a s*itty day.
> 
> I miss my beautiful girl. :crying:


I am so sorry to hear about your cat, and your day. Here is a hug... :hug :squeeze



Harlin said:


> Like I'm not helping anyone by living. Like all I'm doing is tearing people apart. Like I was just never worth anything. Like people have shut me out for a really good reason.


You are worth something to someone out there I am sure. :hug :squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

Pathetic


----------



## SofaKing

I'm simply never going to get what I really want.


----------



## CNikki

Having a bit of a migraine. Should probably sleep a bit earlier since I'm not having that much of a clear mind (as if I ever really do.)



SofaKing said:


> I'm simply never going to get what I really want.


Same here.


----------



## Zatch

Like a jerk. But **** it, we have to be sometimes.


----------



## SofaKing

CNikki said:


> Having a bit of a migraine. Should probably sleep a bit earlier since I'm not having that much of a clear mind (as if I ever really do.)
> 
> Same here.


Sorry for your migraine. I've been with a sufferer and know how debilitating they can be.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Can't get over losing her. Wish I'd never woken up to type this. It's just too much of a loss and it haunts me the way it ended. I really needed this to work out with her. Just don't want to be here anymore. Tired of the pain.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad. When you don't think your life could get worse, it can.


----------



## unemployment simulator

horny, ****s sake.


----------



## CNikki

Right now a bit pissed. Things can never seem to go right for once in my life.


----------



## Zatch

Feeling gnarly. What a word.


----------



## 629753

Calm. Havent felt depressed in almost 2 months. Its funny, im starting to forget how it feels like.


----------



## SofaKing

CNikki said:


> Right now a bit pissed. Things can never seem to go right for once in my life.


Same...I think the moments that do seem to go right are just for the purpose of having further to fall the next moment.


----------



## CNikki

SofaKing said:


> Same...I think the moments that do seem to go right are just for the purpose of having further to fall the next moment.


It does seem that way, doesn't it?

Usually if say a few good things do happen, usually when taking in those moments the 'unexpected' bad ones creep in. It's been like that for years. Whether this is just random or there is some sort of supernatural vibes thing going on, it needs to stop. I'm always expecting the worst now anyway.


----------



## llodell88

disgusted, i still don't understand how people can do such malicious things to people and believe they are in the right. If he ever does something like that again to someone I hope he ends up in prison like he deserves, hopefully they will have people around them to help them who actually care about them.

The truth is there are people all the time who have deal with bullies who have done much less, and would have killed themselves, the only reason why i'm still alive is luck, and hear people are telling me to live then putting **** about revenge after they did the most humilitaing and stressfull thing i can imagine anyone experiencing, and of course i am exaggerating. and of course they just waited til i was sick to do it to, they even told me they waited til i was sick, god. 

But I can see how someone who wants me to dead would convince everyone it's for my own good if they were smart enough, so...i mean basically you just have to convince someone the opposite of what is going on is going on, i'm sure there are books about this written somewhere, probably read by people who like to mess with people.

people are literally committing suicide because people like this exists and now i have to deal with everything because i'm suicidal lmao, no that is the stuff you do if you want to kill someone, get a ****ing clue.


----------



## Taaylah

Confused. Don’t know what I should do.


----------



## SplendidBob

Mentally a bit low. Everything is such a struggle, I really feel I am playing life on hard mode.

Essentially in order to get over my SA / troubles communicating and get the life I want I am going to have to literally not care, at all about any resulting feelings from social errors, not care about any anxiety, not care about any low moods, and just do the stuff anyway. In essence, decouple myself from the normal flow of existence and emotions. (thats kinda how I see ACT).

There is no other way to describe that than hard mode, and its a hard mode that nobody else will even recognise and give me a little pat on the back.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

No point being alive and hope I die in my sleep.


----------



## 0589471

I wish it was all a dream...can we go on as it once was?





 @ANX1 This totally made me cry. I tell you I'm an ocean these days.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> I'm sad. When you don't think your life could get worse, it can.


:hug :squeeze



Pete Beale said:


> No point being alive and hope I die in my sleep.


:rub

I hope you two feel better soon.


----------



## JaneDonut

Fine, but lately I have been noticing I have been angry.


----------



## MorganMelancholy

MorganMelancholy said:


> I feel better, anxiety wise anyway, but my depression is in full swing baby &#128076;


I was incorrect. ****ing anxiety is though the roof and it's still before noon.


----------



## JaneDonut

Yes, living life on "hard mode" I can relate to that feeling.


----------



## JaneDonut

Depression really sucks. I wish there was something I could say to help you. The only thing I can think of to say is that you are not alone. Hopefully, this feeling you have will pass.


----------



## CNikki

Empty.


----------



## GeomTech

Pretty "Meh", but probably suppressed anger or something. Idk.


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless, regretted, hated, invisible, ugly, fat, depressed, anxious.


----------



## SofaKing

Watching My Cousin Vinny with Marisa Tomei...there's been one other woman in my life as alluring....but she won't come to be with me. Sadness.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

So bored.

Lonely.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Empty.


 :hug


----------



## mobc1990

I am feeling rather fat,has been eating too much.Like the taste of bread though


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> I wish it was all a dream...can we go on as it once was?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> @*ANX1* This totally made me cry. I tell you I'm an ocean these days.


:hug

That video clip reminds me of when I was hit by a drunk woman in a car when on a foot path.


----------



## Zatch

Frazzled. I had one of those "mistakes just snowballing" sorta days. Felt very tired and made some amateurish **** ups.

Idiot.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I feel like my life is Dark Souls and I'm playing as a deprived.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Unwell.


----------



## GeomTech

A little bit scared, but I'm toughening up, I suppose.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Depressed out of my mind. All I want to do is force myself to sleep. I really need some help because this is never ending. I don't know what to do.


----------



## CNikki

Anxious. I know why but it's really uncomfortable to say.


----------



## CNikki

Tired but can’t sleep. Just love these type of nights. :roll


----------



## Wanderlust26

Lonely and depressed.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Anxious, along with butterflies in my stomach for some strange reason.


----------



## Kinable

Hated :steam

yet loved :squeeze


----------



## PandaBearx

Sleepy :yawn


----------



## penguinbeak

*****y


----------



## SofaKing

Bored...another empty day off that'll be misspent, I'm sure.


----------



## hobocollector

My boyfriend left me yesterday for not making me unhappy he said.he manipulated even leaving and made me suspicious about myself.And I HATE MYSELF.


----------



## SofaKing

You're saying he left you because he wasn't making you unhappy?


hobocollector said:


> My boyfriend left me yesterday for not making me unhappy he said.he manipulated even leaving and made me suspicious about myself.And I HATE MYSELF.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Apathetic.


----------



## hobocollector

SofaKing said:


> You're saying he left you because he wasn't making you unhappy?


I could not pay attention to what I wrote because I was sad no he said 'I am not making you happy and you shouldn't be with me and left me at the home where we live since 2 years.


----------



## SofaKing

hobocollector said:


> I could not pay attention to what I wrote because I was sad no he said 'I am not making you happy and you shouldn't be with me and left me at the home where we live since 2 years.


I see...I'm very sorry. I don't like it when someone is "doing me a favor" by assuming how i'm feeling and taking action based on it.

It can be very difficult maintaining a relationship with someone who is depressed and especially from someone who may be a pleaser or a problem/solver and are being ineffective in either despite it not being anyone's ability or responsibility to make someone happy.

I hope you find resolution, peace, or comfort.


----------



## Zatch

Nauseated. Need food. Gimme food.


----------



## PaddingtonBear

*Life is worth living!*

I feel so happy about life now and I never want to go back. I can feel frustrated or happy at the same time and that's okay so long as I stay positive. There that's my vent ))))


----------



## riverbird

Annoyed. I was just about to take a shower because I've been cleaning all morning and it's hot and I feel gross and the landlord came to the door and gave us a two-minute warning that he was shutting off the water for a while so he could work on something in the backyard. I had just enough time to refill my Brita filter so I wouldn't panic about not having water to drink. Grrrr.


----------



## greentea33

Crap


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I need a drink.


----------



## Crisigv

Feel a little strange


----------



## Kinable

SofaKing said:


> Bored...another empty day off that'll be misspent, I'm sure.


I know that feeling but sometimes doing nothing on a day off is great. Heck I prefer to just sit around and do nothing to relax, unfortunately you can get used to it.


----------



## SofaKing

True, though I do too much of it. I really shouldn't see my life slip away one TV show at a time.


Kinaibhlan said:


> I know that feeling but sometimes doing nothing on a day off is great. Heck I prefer to just sit around and do nothing to relax, unfortunately you can get used to it.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sick, and alone.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel like I'm hurting deep down inside and nobody cares.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Getting tipsy from my beer. >



SamanthaStrange said:


> Sick, and alone.


There, there...

 :hug :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

Really wish I had someone to turn to irl.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

I_Exist said:


> I feel like I'm hurting deep down inside and nobody cares.


Try listening to some music to distract yourself from overthinking.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Really wish I had someone to turn to irl.


:sigh  :hug


----------



## tea111red

It is really hard to believe in God right now, too.


----------



## The Linux Guy

ANX1 said:


> Try listening to some music to distract yourself from overthinking.


I feel like listening to this.... But it isn't going to take my mind off of it. Instead it will just keep feeding the mad thoughts in my mind. With that being said it's true!






Lyrics: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/thousandfootkrutch/stranger.html


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> :sigh  :hug


I've never felt so alone and scared in my life.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

I_Exist said:


> I feel like listening to this.... But it isn't going to take my mind off of it. Instead it will just keep feeding the mad thoughts in my mind. With that being said it's true!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Lyrics: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/thousandfootkrutch/stranger.html


With the lyrics, I can see why. But a nice sound behind the lyrics.

Maybe try a hot bath or something similar. Many ways to relax.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> I've never felt so alone and scared in my life.


Wish I was local so could pop on over and check on you.


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> Wish I was local so could pop on over and check on you.


Thank you....that's a nice thing to say. Wish I'd meet people who cared like this irl. Would be like striking gold or something.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Thank you....that's a nice thing to say. Wish I'd meet people who cared like this irl. Would be like striking gold or something.


You're welcome. 

Common where I live. I have had people come up to me on the street asking to help me or to see if I was ok. I have done the same for strangers.

In some countries you can't do that fearing being robbed or sued.


----------



## Chrissy.T

Angry 
Jealous 
Depressed
Alone


----------



## 0589471

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Getting tipsy from my beer. >


oh boy we better watch out then!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> oh boy we better watch out then!


:grin2::kiss:


----------



## Kevin001

Like the walls are closing in on me. But hey no one said this was going to be easy. I'll make it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Kevin001 said:


> Like the walls are closing in on me. But hey no one said this was going to be easy. I'll make it.


Sounds like a Indiana Jones scenario. :O


----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## Kevin001

ANX1 said:


> Sounds like a Indiana Jones scenario. :O


lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Kevin001 said:


> lol


Well, that is what it sounded like.


----------



## Taaylah

Very stuck


----------



## SofaKing

Living another day that feels somewhat pointless to me. Oh well.


----------



## Zatch

Like I'm being sporadically punched from the inside. It's getting more bothersome now.


----------



## tea111red

Depressed and lifeless.


----------



## Potter_Logic_Yep

Pretty good, gonna get a pet gecko.


----------



## tea111red

What I want is so out of reach and it's torture.


----------



## discopotato

Lonely


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy and worth nothing to the world


----------



## Suchness

A low day for sure. Adrenal fatigue not taking easy on me today. More anxious and tired than usual, it must have something to do with my cortisol today.


----------



## discopotato

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Here are some e-hugs for you both!
> 
> :hug :squeeze
> 
> :hug :squeeze


Thank you :squeeze


----------



## blue2

Feelin fine


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Whatever.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling like worthless garbage. And that's all I will ever be.


----------



## riverbird

Overwhelmed. Emotional. Like I want to go in the middle of a forest and just scream as loud as possible.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored and lonely, like most nights.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Extremely uncomfortable. I want to share one of my comic script but I can't do it.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Rather well tonight. Not gonna complain about that.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit better than usual. My mother and I went to see Star Trek: First Contact on the big screen this evening at a small movie theater downtown. I had popcorn and pepsi for dinner, and now I am having some alcoholic red apple cider. :drunk

Lol.


----------



## 0589471

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> A bit better than usual. My mother and I went to see Star Trek: First Contact on the big screen this evening at a small movie theater downtown. I had popcorn and pepsi for dinner, and now I am having some alcoholic red apple cider. :drunk
> 
> Lol.


sounds like my kind of night! 

I was in the ER most of the day, my bestie got hurt in a car accident. Thankfully nothing serious. I feel exhausted now. my adrenaline from panic and driving to her and then babysitting a group of little kids while she rested & being a human jungle gym takes a lot out of you


----------



## Zatch

Nostalgic.

Lots of freedom, and your pleasure. Nothing ever lasts forever~


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad been a solid morning


----------



## Alpha Tauri

Of all the people who die everyday - why couldn't I be one of them?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad. Confused. 

Trapped.


----------



## 0589471

so tired. didn't get much sleep again. Driving my friend to see the specialist today, but it's about an hour and a half away. Please heat don't kill my car


----------



## KotaBear96

Lost. I don't know what I'm meant to be doing.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

KotaBear96 said:


> Lost. I don't know what I'm meant to be doing.


I feel the same. I saw your other post where you thought you were wasting your youth. I'm old enough to be your father, and that's exactly what I've done. Lost, wasted my youth. I want you to find a way to live your life and not end up like me! I hope you can because the actual reality of it is no fun, no fun at all!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit hungover today, lol.



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> so tired. didn't get much sleep again. Driving my friend to see the specialist today, but it's about an hour and a half away. Please heat don't kill my car


Good luck! 



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> sounds like my kind of night!
> 
> I was in the ER most of the day, my bestie got hurt in a car accident. Thankfully nothing serious. I feel exhausted now. my adrenaline from panic and driving to her and then babysitting a group of little kids while she rested & being a human jungle gym takes a lot out of you


Hope you two get all rested up.


----------



## komorikun

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> sounds like my kind of night!
> 
> I was in the ER most of the day, my bestie got hurt in a car accident. Thankfully nothing serious. I feel exhausted now. my adrenaline from panic and driving to her and then babysitting a group of little kids while she rested & being a human jungle gym takes a lot out of you


Why isn't the husband taking care of the kids?


----------



## 0589471

He's a SOB who's not around.


komorikun said:


> Why isn't the husband taking care of the kids?


----------



## SplendidBob

SamanthaStrange said:


> Sad. Confused.
> 
> Trapped.


:hug


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Hopefully there's a huge gas explosion that kills us all instantly in our sleep. I've really had enough now. I feel completely and utterly hopeless and just want it to end.


----------



## MCHB

Drunk! :3


Coincidentally if you want to hear my honest thoughts now is the time to ask...


----------



## KotaBear96

Pete Beale said:


> I feel the same. I saw your other post where you thought you were wasting your youth. I'm old enough to be your father, and that's exactly what I've done. Lost, wasted my youth. I want you to find a way to live your life and not end up like me! I hope you can because the actual reality of it is no fun, no fun at all!


Thank you I will try


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lonely as hell.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hot. Bored. Tired. Cranky. Lonely. Depressed.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SamanthaStrange said:


> Hot. Bored. Tired. Cranky. Lonely. Depressed.


:squeeze

All of the above as well.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like disappearing permanently


----------



## SamanthaStrange

splendidbob said:


> :hug





Pete Beale said:


> :squeeze


Thanks for the hugs.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks for the hugs.


Come to England and be the meat in the Pete Beale and @splendidbob hug sarnie. Imagine how happy and content you'd be then. :wink2::b


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pete Beale said:


> Come to England and be the meat in the Pete Beale and @splendidbob hug sarnie. Imagine how happy and content you'd be then. :wink2::b


Throw @forever in flux in the mix and I'll consider it.  JK

What happened to him anyway? I miss him.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SamanthaStrange said:


> Throw @forever in flux in the mix and I'll consider it.  JK
> 
> What happened to him anyway? I miss him.


I don't know. Hope he's OK. He'll probably pop up again soon enough.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling very depressed. I need to do some grocery shopping, but I have no energy.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Feeling good. It's day two of making a deal with someone very dear to eat better and exercise again regularly every day and it's been going well so far. I gave up the workout for a while and it killed me inside to see me getting weak again(pissed that I lost almost all the month of June to agoraphobia). I don't like feeling weak. Going from 7 days a week to 3-5 days a week was a huge mistake, but depression took over and that's how it is in my life. Fight it off a while and it comes back with a kick in the ribs.


----------



## Skygrinder

Extremely worried and pressured.

Suicidal urges coming and going.

Usually feeling good when I wake up, but then everything comes into focus and I fall apart.


----------



## GeomTech

Blah bored-o. Maybe I should just go back to sleep.


----------



## tea111red

Need some life put in me.


----------



## scintilla

.


----------



## tea111red

It is so hard getting though the day.


----------



## Kinable

A little depressed, not too much but enough that it's affecting me emotionally. I feel like I'm getting somewhere but at the same time I don't. I don't know, gonna try to keep my mind off things for a bit.


----------



## mobc1990

Bad


----------



## llodell88

fat and tired.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Oh good, fireworks. That about completes my miserable ****ing day.

I meant to post this in a different thread. **** it all.


----------



## Shy Ostrich

nauseous and regretful... just binge ate a ton of food


----------



## Kinable

Much better now thanks to the thread I made.

Thank you @*girlyone1* you really gave me some much needed hope :squeeze


----------



## Zatch

Third day in a row I have to work with a girl I think has a crush on me. I'm actually upset I have to go through this again after being switched off a shift involving just the same with someone else.

I just want to slave until my habits do me in. I deserve that.


----------



## Crisigv

Stomach's starting to hurt.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tipsy from my alcoholic cider, and it felt good getting my feels out on the SAS Discord about "her."

Lol.

:drunk :rofl:haha


----------



## scintilla

Tired, sick, insanely sad. I was just starting to feel so much better overall - I was feeling healthier, infinitely less anxious, eating more normally again (gaining back weight I lost, but okay with it because I could EAT again), feeling more content, happier than I've felt in a long time, less lonely, included, hopeful and determined for the future in all respects. Finally after months of ****, things were improving. And now I'm back at rock bottom.


----------



## Timothy123

Well when i'm on this site it's usually for a bad reason. But life has been going pretty well for me the last month. I feel blessed, but still stressed on the inside.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Timothy123 said:


> Well when i'm on this site it's usually for a bad reason. But life has been going pretty well for me the last month. I feel blessed, but still stressed on the inside.


Good for you. 
May you have many more good days in the future. 
__________

I am tired yet I cannot seem to go to sleep. And my mood been going up and down. Still bummed out about my SAS blog post disappearing and me having to put my blogging on hold in fear of losing them. 
A few people cheered me up here which was so nice of them to do Thank You
But..........a part of me is crushed. {LOL I stink} 
Yes this is a big deal for me. 
I need a distraction. I should consider signing off of here to really focus on my next comic story arc. I told myself I wanted to write it in a month. Surly this would help me to let this disappointed feeling blow over. But no telling me, I'll probably be back on SAS in a few days LOL. It never fails!


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lonely and depressed as hell as usual. Just want to sleep to escape this ****. I'm a completely different person to the one I was this time last year. All hopes gone.


----------



## funnynihilist

Up early, gonna be a looooooong day


----------



## SplendidBob

well, due to the FODMAP diet, I now am experiencing pretty horrific bowel problems. Gonna go back to my pizza diet lol.

Brain is pretty ****ed up too, struggling a lot with anxiety and low self esteem.


----------



## Jeff271

I've had some stomach bug too. There's things I want to do but I have to rest.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad Sammy.

Mad Sammy.


----------



## riverbird

Overwhelmed and anxious. My mother and her boyfriend have been here for a week visiting and don't leave for another week. I cannot handle my mother. Her temper, her whining, her voice, her victim attitude when she's in the wrong, her insane waste of water (who does laundry every single day, multiple loads a day, washing just one item when they've brought their entire wardrobe with them!? The other day my sister and I left to get away from her and came back to her watering the freaking house!) She plays stupid when it comes to the most ridiculous things because she seems to think it's cute. It's too much. Everything about her grates on my nerves.


----------



## CNikki

A bit fed up. Tired of trying to reason with people who don't have any sense of reason. Hell, I don't have it at times, otherwise I guess I wouldn't be around them. Many more things I can say but I'll refrain.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Can't stop missing the good times with her. I wish I hadn't said some of the things I said when I left her, and just created space between us and gone back to the communal area to let things calm down, instead of coming home. Relentless depression I have now is eating me alive and it didn't have to be this way. I wish she would understand what she's lost in me. We've both lost out. No one's winning here.


----------



## truant

splendidbob said:


> Mentally a bit low. Everything is such a struggle, I really feel I am playing life on hard mode.
> 
> Essentially in order to get over my SA / troubles communicating and get the life I want I am going to have to literally not care, at all about any resulting feelings from social errors, not care about any anxiety, not care about any low moods, and just do the stuff anyway. In essence, decouple myself from the normal flow of existence and emotions. (thats kinda how I see ACT).
> 
> There is no other way to describe that than hard mode, and its a hard mode that nobody else will even recognise and give me a little pat on the back.


I'm not sure what your self-talk is like so I'm not sure exactly how you mean "not caring", but I would recommend that, instead of thinking about ACT as "not caring about the outcome", that you think about it more as giving yourself permission to be human and about being kind to yourself.

There are a couple of dangers in not caring about the outcome. Not caring is amoral, which means you might be giving yourself permission to act immorally as well as morally. Not caring about the outcome of your actions could lead you to unintentionally harm other people while pursuing your own mental health. And that's not really desirable, nor is it necessary. (Not that I think you are, obv, only that there's a risk inherent in the way you conceptualize it.)

The second problem is that not caring about the outcome can wind up being subtly self-denigrating. If your outcomes don't matter then it's a short hop to believing that you don't matter, either. It breeds a sort of "what difference does it make?" atmosphere in your thinking.

The point is not to not care exactly (there is a place for not caring), but to give yourself permission to be a flawed individual. To learn how to be consistently self-loving despite the mistakes that you do make, and the imperfections that you do have.

It's okay if you feel nervous.
It's okay if people can tell you're nervous.
It's okay if you can't think of anything to say.
It's okay if you say something stupid.
It's okay if you feel embarrassed.
It's okay if you make a fool of yourself.
It's okay if you make a mistake.
It's okay if you don't know something.
It's okay if you have a bad day.
It's okay if you didn't do as well as you'd hoped.
It's okay if someone doesn't like you.
It's okay if people think you're weird.*

(* You can see how this is also a process of _accepting_ everything that comes up in your experience.)

All of this is okay because you're human and no one is perfect. No one has a right to expect themselves or anyone else to be perfect. Everyone gets nervous, makes mistakes, has bad days, says things they regret, trusts someone they shouldn't trust, hurts someone they shouldn't have hurt, and fails to live up to their own ideals. Everyone is a weirdo to someone else.

The goal is not to stop caring what people think in every way (because it's okay to care, too; you _do_ care, no matter what you tell yourself, and that's okay!), but to be consistently self-loving and self-supportive. To be on your own team no matter what you do (and there's the _commitment_: to your own happiness). Shut down that voice that tells you you're worthless, a failure, stupid, unlovable, etc. Because you're not. You're human, just like everyone else. And that's okay.

But you're right, it is hard to do. Everyone has told you your whole life that if you don't whip yourself you'll never amount to anything. That without it you'll turn into a bad person. The problem is, you're so afraid of that whip, you've become afraid to live. Put the whip away. You don't need it. You never did.

You're one of the most consistently self-improvement and therapy-oriented people on the forum, Bob. You've gone way out of your way to try to get other people interested in getting better and encouraging people to stick with therapy. You deserve credit for that, and you should feel good about it. People notice, even if they don't always say.

:hug


----------



## CNikki

CNikki said:


> Tired of trying to reason with people who don't have any sense of reason.


Still having this problem. What a f***in' day this is.


----------



## SplendidBob

truant said:


> I'm not sure what your self-talk is like so I'm not sure exactly how you mean "not caring", but I would recommend that, instead of thinking about ACT as "not caring about the outcome", that you think about it more as giving yourself permission to be human and about being kind to yourself.
> 
> There are a couple of dangers in not caring about the outcome. Not caring is amoral, which means you might be giving yourself permission to act immorally as well as morally. Not caring about the outcome of your actions could lead you to unintentionally harm other people while pursuing your own mental health. And that's not really desirable, nor is it necessary. (Not that I think you are, obv, only that there's a risk inherent in the way you conceptualize it.)
> 
> The second problem is that not caring about the outcome can wind up being subtly self-denigrating. If your outcomes don't matter then it's a short hop to believing that you don't matter, either. It breeds a sort of "what difference does it make?" atmosphere in your thinking.
> 
> The point is not to not care exactly (there is a place for not caring), but to give yourself permission to be a flawed individual. To learn how to be consistently self-loving despite the mistakes that you do make, and the imperfections that you do have.
> 
> It's okay if you feel nervous.
> It's okay if people can tell you're nervous.
> It's okay if you can't think of anything to say.
> It's okay if you say something stupid.
> It's okay if you feel embarrassed.
> It's okay if you make a fool of yourself.
> It's okay if you make a mistake.
> It's okay if you don't know something.
> It's okay if you have a bad day.
> It's okay if you didn't do as well as you'd hoped.
> It's okay if someone doesn't like you.
> It's okay if people think you're weird.*
> 
> (* You can see how this is also a process of _accepting_ everything that comes up in your experience.)
> 
> All of this is okay because you're human and no one is perfect. No one has a right to expect themselves or anyone else to be perfect. Everyone gets nervous, makes mistakes, has bad days, says things they regret, trusts someone they shouldn't trust, hurts someone they shouldn't have hurt, and fails to live up to their own ideals. Everyone is a weirdo to someone else.
> 
> The goal is not to stop caring what people think in every way (because it's okay to care, too; you _do_ care, no matter what you tell yourself, and that's okay!), but to be consistently self-loving and self-supportive. To be on your own team no matter what you do (and there's the _commitment_: to your own happiness). Shut down that voice that tells you you're worthless, a failure, stupid, unlovable, etc. Because you're not. You're human, just like everyone else. And that's okay.
> 
> But you're right, it is hard to do. Everyone has told you your whole life that if you don't whip yourself you'll never amount to anything. That without it you'll turn into a bad person. The problem is, you're so afraid of that whip, you've become afraid to live. Put the whip away. You don't need it. You never did.
> 
> You're one of the most consistently self-improvement and therapy-oriented people on the forum, Bob. You've gone way out of your way to try to get other people interested in getting better and encouraging people to stick with therapy. You deserve credit for that, and you should feel good about it. People notice, even if they don't always say.
> 
> :hug


Thank you truant  - slightly teared at the last paragraph there.

:hug back.

(will make a proper reply tomorrow, just wanted to say thank you quickly).


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy, hot, lonely, depressed, etc


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> Crappy, hot, lonely, depressed, etc


:hug


----------



## llodell88

nervous, hot, sick, dehydrated, gross, head feels gross too, stomache feels gross. tired.


----------



## Chris S W

Serene.


----------



## pixietrancelove

Very very tired and yet cannot sleep, more than likely because i know i have to go out tomorrow 

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

A bit sniffling. I think I had the air conditioning in the car on too much.


----------



## discopotato

Numb


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Trying to feel something... Anything.

The dopamine neurons in my brain are not working right now.



discopotato said:


> Numb


Same here.


----------



## llodell88

felt all wound up and took 2 gaba supplements that aren't even supposed to work since they don't cross the blood brain barrier but i think they worked because i'm not pacing anymore. probably not a placebo affect? i feel like its one of those supplements i hear better things about even though all the science says it can't get into your brain, maybe it works by hitting gaba receptors in your gut or somewhere.


----------



## GeomTech

Getting that feeling again..... May be able to do something worthwhile after all.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Ravenous


----------



## Zatch

Annoyed and irascible. Maybe I have been socially overwhelmed lately.

Anxiety for breakfast, again?


----------



## truant

Zatch said:


> Annoyed and irascible. Maybe I have been socially overwhelmed lately.
> 
> Anxiety for breakfast, again?


Strawberry Anxiety is my favorite. Chocolate Anxiety tastes weird when you add milk.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like some kind of freak.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cursed. Alone.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> I feel like some kind of freak.


I'm starting to have thoughts like this again and I hadn't felt like this in a long time tbh. I think it's because I thought she would accept me for the way I am, but she's gone, so I now have to face telling someone else things about myself that I only shared with her. I would love to be accepted for the way I am, before it's too late.



SamanthaStrange said:


> Cursed. Alone.


Same. Need a damn miracle here. :frown2:


----------



## caelle

Feelin pretty ok. My "weekend" off work starts today. Well today would be my friday. Anyway, I'm glad. I'm so tired from work and lady issues.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Miserable


----------



## Deaf Mute

Like the trash I am. I really hate myself, because I hate them.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Dreamed about her and feel terrible. How am I suppose to forget about someone I knew for so long. It torments me.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Emotionally numb.



SamanthaStrange said:


> Cursed. Alone.


"Hugs"



Canadian Brotha said:


> Miserable


"Rubs shoulder"



Deaf Mute said:


> Like the trash I am. I really hate myself, because I hate them.


"Rubs shoulder"



Pete Beale said:


> Dreamed about her and feel terrible. How am I suppose to forget about someone I knew for so long. It torments me.


"Rubs shoulder"


----------



## girlyone1

Sad because my best friend is gone from this forum.


----------



## scooby

**** my life. Forever. Physically ****ed. Mentally ****ed even more.


----------



## discopotato

Furious.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Emotionally numb.
> 
> "Hugs"
> 
> "Rubs shoulder"
> 
> "Rubs shoulder"
> 
> "Rubs shoulder"


But I wanted a damn Bro hug!!!!!!! :crying: :b


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> But I wanted a damn Bro hug!!!!!!! :crying: :b


Cheeky devil. >


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Cheeky devil. >


>


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Crappy


----------



## Zatch

Perplexed. People are dropping like flies.

"Maybe I don't understand this..."


----------



## Crisigv

Extremely anxious.


----------



## Suchness

I have felt better, that's for sure. Talk about having a good day yesterday, it turned out to be one of the worst I've had in a while. Stress really got to me. Today was even worse, I didn't wake up feeling better like I have in the past few days, I woke up feeling worse than I have in ages. It's similar to when I had depression but not as bad, probably nowhere near as bad. I don't know if it's the adrenal fatigue or depression, I'll see how I go in the next couple of days. If I think it's depression I'll get rTMS next week, if it's fatigue well, that's a longer journey, at least it seems to be for now.


----------



## harrison

Like there's something not connected properly inside my head.


----------



## Kinable

Worried that I put too much trust in people


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Kinaibhlan said:


> Worried that I put too much trust in people


I do wonder this as well at times.


----------



## Zatch

Excited. I've been really assertive lately, and only see that improving with my habits.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Miserable.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Tired.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored, pissed off, lonely, agitated, disappointed etc. 

I don't know what to do to end all this crap. I really need someone to give me a reason to live and take my mind off all this ****. Can't deal with being back in this ****ing position again. I'm lonely and miserable as **** and there's no one to help me.


----------



## SofaKing

Ready for an entirely different life.. likely nobody will join me, but I have to begin accepting that being alone doesn't have to mean loneliness. 

It does, lol, but I have to somehow begin accepting it doesn't.


----------



## girlyone1

I feel better. Had a long good conversation with my friend.


----------



## Crisigv

Like I'm non-existent


----------



## CNikki

Anxious. Supposed to be having the opposite effect right now.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Watching fireworks alone is pretty depressing. 

Lonely.


----------



## Zatch

Like I'm trapped in the mirror. This is not me anymore, is it?


----------



## herk

incredible


----------



## love is like a dream

^ wow 

i wish there were something we could do.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Dreamed of her again and feel awful. I really don't know how to adjust to losing her. A massive void has been left in my life, and I never realized how much I needed her. I feel stuck in time, far too behind in life, and she was alway's a relief from this feeling tbh. I literally do not know what to do without her. My mind can't see a way of being happy without her. It's just endless depression with nothing to look forward to now. She made me excited for life, for once. I wish she knew how bad I felt. My mind just can't believe how suddenly it all ended and how it ended, after we had such a great time together at times. I can't adjust to the loss. :frown2:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I feel like I'm too old to move on, and she was my only hope!


----------



## SplendidBob

Being savaged by OCD atm. It's ****ing exhausting.


----------



## tea111red

Coincidence said:


> ^ wow
> 
> i wish there were something we could do.


Thank you...


----------



## Methodical

Miserable


----------



## momentsunset

Invisible


----------



## Crisigv

Not sure if I feel okay. Or if I am so miserable it's starting to feel normal.


----------



## SofaKing

About to have a total frigging meltdown...including, but not limited to resigning effective immediately.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Same ****, different day.


----------



## girlyone1

Ok, finally feel like I got somewhat good sleep.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

The limited options I have, do not motivate me, at all. I do not want what's available. That's the god damn problem!


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SamanthaStrange said:


> Same ****, different day.


Yes! :frown2:


----------



## Scaptain

Careless.


----------



## Wanderlust26

I'm tired of people dumping their problems on me when I have my own and I'm tired of always being the understanding one and not having the favor returned.


----------



## SofaKing

Boy am I feeling this today! I'm always the caregiver. I'm exhausted.


Wanderlust26 said:


> I'm tired of people dumping their problems on me when I have my own and I'm tired of always being the understanding one and not having the favor returned.


----------



## Wanderlust26

SofaKing said:


> Boy am I feeling this today! I'm always the caregiver. I'm exhausted.


It really is exhausting. Where did all of these parasites come from?


----------



## SofaKing

Wanderlust26 said:


> It really is exhausting. Where did all of these parasites come from?


Idk, but they're drawn to people who are selfless and give too much of themselves away in the process.


----------



## CNikki

Hard to be a good person and offer to help since many take it as given an inch and stretch it for miles. These days people will only associate with you because you can easily be taken advantage of when you become nice to them. Also a big reason why I don't talk to many people nowadays.


Speaking of ****ty people, I'm annoyed because of kleptomaniac neighbors.


----------



## girlyone1

Like crap. It's sad that 2 hours ago I posted ok on here. Wish that was still the case.


----------



## Taaylah

All over the place and confused about what I should be doing with my life right now. I can’t see myself doing anything really...


----------



## greentea33

Sad.


----------



## MorganMelancholy

Seasonally depressed 👌


----------



## SofaKing

Condemned to a life alone


----------



## funnynihilist

Not too good


----------



## PandaBearx

Kind of like I need to cry. 

Not so fun feels...


----------



## Potter_Logic_Yep

Looks like a lot of people could use a lot of positivity. Hopefully this short fictional can make you guys laugh. 🙂

On a Thursday night, a puppy barked in curiosity. The lights flickered on. “Oh she’s perfect!” The girl knelt down to the white ball of fluff. “Yep, I would like to buy her please.” There at the checkout she lifts the puppy in excitement. “Yo so chubby!!!” Insulted the puppy pees in her mouth! “Oh my, I think I love her!” Both walk away starting a new adventurous chapter in their life. The end. 

Remember, there will always be a good moment ahead of you. Best wishes!
.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Back to being a soulless robot again apparently. Or focusing on it anyway.


----------



## MorganMelancholy

MorganMelancholy said:


> Seasonally depressed &#128076;


Just got my report card, ****ing moving out and living off of my McDonald's salary.


----------



## Crisigv

Can feel the life draining from me.


----------



## komorikun

If you weren't depressed before reading this thread you will be afterwards.


----------



## tea111red

Still feel scared and alone.


----------



## Zatch

Elated. People are being amazing right now. Wish there were more nights like this.


----------



## Cyanocitta

Feeling wishful tonight. 
Wishing I could be with someone, sit around and mess around on guitar and roast marshmallows on a fire. 
Feeling kind of sad but have a warm feeling of future events.


----------



## llodell88

of course we are only nice to people to get something out of it, not because we actually care, or have feelings, like compassion or empathy or whatever

it's interesting how someone can decide to ruin your life precisely on the day it was supposed to get better


----------



## Suchness

It's school holidays and the weather is nice, I feel like my energetic teen self planning to go out with my friends. Smoke some weed, go to pot black, ask someone older to buy us cigarettes, talk to girls, get something to eat.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mildly asthmatic


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Complete **** again.

I literally have no good memories of spending time with anyone else other than her, and I have zero idea how to move on.


----------



## llodell88

i miss the feeling of being hopeful


----------



## llodell88

all i want to know is what's real and not real on my computer, it would take a half a load off my back at least. i don't understand why i have to deal with this, i don't understand what i did or why, all i've done is suffer for so long and it keeps getting worse, because i keep fearing i wont ever see the real stuff. nobody knows what its like to be me, because nobody has ever experienced this except me. you can't be compassionate or empathetic, because nobody gets it. Also those little videos that keep popping up on the top of netflix, i cant tell if they are fake or not and it is driving me crazy, i cant deal with this. just if i had a friend or someone it would hav ehelped or not living in this little stupid town, i dont get it, why do i have to experience this. im going to see this **** everywhere, and if i ever actually do become schizophrenic im gonna see all this ccc lyly live ****ing crap everywhere 412, 19, ****ing blinds everywhere, c, lc, cl, lala, lulu, llc, orange and purple; blue red and yellow;, and what's real, ****ing **** on netflix that's about me, why aren't i allowed to take charge of my own life. maybe i should do something bad and go to prison? i think that might help my situation, maybe. no men in there either.

i really need to be in a different world, than this, a cult would work maybe, as long as its not a sex cult, and preferably no men, but that probably doesn't exist. i looked up cults, how to join a cult and couldn't find anything.

like the say day there was that tau day stuff, it's not pi, it's tau, and he starts going after me like he is trying to kill me or something, and now theres some show called tau on there about some sadistic guy and the AI house, i mean what the flying **** is this, Girl's brain is on fire with a leaf. i dont ****ing get it, and aren't those shows supposed to new? i didn't really check but what the ****...


----------



## alienbird

Um well clearly not feeling this site anymore. =|


----------



## Red October

Terrible, lol


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Red October said:


> Terrible, lol


Last night I sobbed then laughed hysterically at how ****ed up everything is lol


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> Still feel scared and alone.


I wish I could help you. I moan about my situation but at least my folks are good people and they own the house. I wish could get you out of your situation! :frown2:


----------



## Greys0n

delightful 'cause it's Friday baby


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Alright. It's not insanely hot today, which is a nice break.


----------



## SofaKing

Tired of my analysis paralysis.

I'm considering blogging again, but can I just start up a free blog? 

Noooooo...I must look at every angle on the 0.00001 percent chance it gets popular enough to monetize.

#failuretolaunch


----------



## yigit

lonely and suicidal


----------



## funnynihilist

Bitter


----------



## Zatch

Pissy. Night ended on a very sour note.

I want to say whatever... but it's one of those times where you know you wouldn't mean it.


----------



## Scaptain

Bored.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry


----------



## girlyone1

Blah


----------



## SunshineSam218

Relaxed.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ok. Had some nice gentlemen compliment my car. I couldn't say thank you, just tried to smile.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I want someone to talk too me.


----------



## copper

Summer depression acting up. I hate the heat, the constant sun, and not getting completely dark until 11:30 pm. Screwing up my sleep patterns. Then there is all the mental health clients acting up like they always do, and the freakin tourists which seems a lot more this year.


----------



## pixietrancelove

Tired and yet can't sleep...again

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk


----------



## CNikki

Seeing and hearing things that reminds me as to why I'm a piece of crap just makes me even more pathetic and ashamed, so I *try* to hide it. I do a pretty bad job at that as well.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> Bitter


Get out of the bitter barn, and play in the hay.


----------



## funnynihilist

SamanthaStrange said:


> Get out of the bitter barn, and play in the hay.


Play? A roll in the hay you say? SAS has sex threads for days!


----------



## Suchness

Its so cold in the morning. Only had a few hours sleep but im hopeful its going to be a good day. Im on a mission and I will be successful.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Miserable and misanthropic.


----------



## Zatch

Angry. I took the blame. But I need to improve my leadership qualities.

I have great confidence but my temper is getting bad in proportion. Trying to talk to more people about anger management. I'd be a lot better if I could get it under some control.


----------



## CNikki

Let's put it this way. If I'm subjected to live my life in this current state then maybe I should just die sooner than later. I'm too ****ed up.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Let's put it this way. If I'm subjected to live my life in this current state then maybe I should just die sooner than later. I'm too ****ed up.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel avoided.


----------



## girlyone1

👌


----------



## The Linux Guy

Maybe I deserve this. :stu I don't understand why :stu but maybe I do. Someone randomly sent me a message telling me that I'm a horrible person/troll.


----------



## BeautyandRage

I’m feeling very good today. : )


----------



## riverbird

Eh. Kind of awful.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel like I'm wasting my time on this earth.


----------



## komorikun

copper said:


> Summer depression acting up. I hate the heat, the constant sun, and not getting completely dark until 11:30 pm. Screwing up my sleep patterns. Then there is all the mental health clients acting up like they always do, and the freakin tourists which seems a lot more this year.


You could just become more nocturnal. Stay up late. Wake up late.

How come the sunset is so late where you are even though you aren't all that far up north? Is it due to where you are in your time zone?

Now I know why your username is* copper*.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Happy after seeing this -


----------



## komorikun

Oh I see now. Wow. Didn't think Michigan would be Eastern Time Zone.










Also found this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortuna,_North_Dakota



> Fortuna, North Dakota has the latest sunset time several days after the summer solstice in the contiguous 48 States. The sun set at 10:03:10 PM Central Daylight Time (CDT) on June 24, 2016. This is due to Fortuna's location at the far western edge of the Central Time Zone. Although other communities in the contiguous 48 States are located farther north, none of them are located as far west in their respective time zones. Fortuna's westerly location in the time zone gives it the latest local time when the sun sets near the summer solstice.


----------



## Suchness

The lack of sleep caught up with me pretty quickly, I look and feel like crap. Oh well, I just hope I can meditate today.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Numb


----------



## Wanderlust26

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Miserable and misanthropic.


Exactly sums me up at this moment.


----------



## Suchness

What does misanthropic mean?


----------



## Wanderlust26

CNikki said:


> Let's put it this way. If I'm subjected to live my life in this current state then maybe I should just die sooner than later. I'm too ****ed up.


I feel you. All I see in my near future is constant struggle for self-sufficiency and to find friends. It's been that way in the past, it's going on right now, and most likely my future will be the same. Is that all that's in store for me....


----------



## CNikki

Wanderlust26 said:


> I feel you. All I see in my near future is constant struggle for self-sufficiency and to find friends. It's been that way in the past, it's going on right now, and most likely my future will be the same. Is that all that's in store for me....


It sucks because I try not to get to that point. Some who refer to it as the "woe is me" *****ing and not do anything about what's wrong. It's a half of a truth but the other half nobody cares to hear about and I don't expect them to. At the end of the day I have to live with these mishaps and potluck and sometimes it's more logical to think it isn't worth it. It just isn't.


----------



## Wanderlust26

CNikki said:


> It sucks because I try not to get to that point. Some who refer to it as the "woe is me" *****ing and not do anything about what's wrong. It's a half of a truth but the other half nobody cares to hear about and I don't expect them to. At the end of the day I have to live with these mishaps and potluck and sometimes it's more logical to think it isn't worth it. It just isn't.


Same. I'm trying to improve my life but everyday is a constant struggle, trying to fight off depression, anxiety and OCD. No one seems to understand or believe how difficult that can be. Sometimes it seems people just see what they want to see to make themselves feel better.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I feel like my mom needs to be judged & shamed in a way she’s never experienced before


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Suchness said:


> What does misanthropic mean?


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misanthropy



> *Misanthropy* is the general hatred, dislike, distrust or contempt of the human species or human nature. A *misanthrope* or *misanthropist* is someone who holds such views or feelings. The word's origin is from the Greek words μῖσος (_misos_, "hatred") and ἄνθρωπος (_anthrōpos_, "man, human"). The condition is often confused with asociality.


 https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/misanthropic



> marked by a hatred or contempt for humankind


----------



## Suchness

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misanthropy
> 
> https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/misanthropic


Thank you my man.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Suchness said:


> Thank you my man.


No problem at all nice person!

>


----------



## Zatch

Tempted. These last couple months have been chock full of temptation.

I can't think of a recent time I've caved, for worse. Not sure if that means I should stay low risk or roll the dice more, like I'd do otherwise.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

C137 said:


> I'm feeling the most painful depression to date. I feel discarded, unwanted,...


I feel exactly the same, and it's so painful.

My depression and AVPD are so bad now. I just don't have the energy or desire to talk to anyone. I can't be around people feeling this bad.

If only the person who no longer want's me and discarded me would come back into my life.

I felt the complete opposite of the way I do now, because I had her. I loved spending time with her. Loved waking up everyday and having someone to do things with and for.

It hurts so much because before her, there was no one else. She's all I ever had due to being AVPD and finding it so difficult to connect with people.

I wish she could feel my pain for a moment and how much I needed her. She's know's I've spent my life alone and lonely before I met her, and because she know's this, it makes me feel even worse. How could she completely discard me like this after all this time of knowing her? I'm lost without her and a complete ****ing mess. I felt so much better with her, like I was a different person to the shell I am now. I just cannot stop missing this woman and it's eating me alive.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Miserable and misanthropic.


:frown2:



CNikki said:


> Let's put it this way. If I'm subjected to live my life in this current state then maybe I should just die sooner than later. I'm too ****ed up.


:frown2:



I_Exist said:


> I feel avoided.


I'd talk to you, but I'm so drained by my own ****. All I can muster up is my own posts of repetitive complaining and short replies to the odd post by people. So tired.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Wanderlust26 said:


> Same. I'm trying to improve my life but everyday is a constant struggle, trying to fight off depression, anxiety and OCD. No one seems to understand or believe how difficult that can be. Sometimes it seems people just see what they want to see to make themselves feel better.


Life is a constant worry and struggle for some of us. :frown2:


----------



## Crisigv

I'm so tired. I almost fell asleep while I was brushing my teeth.


----------



## scintilla

So last night I managed to sleep almost 8 hours which is the longest I've slept in weeks (I average about 5h 30min). So aside from my ongoing stomach troubles and everything else I'm actually feeling pretty well rested for the first time in what feels like ages.


----------



## Zatch

Too anxious. This is partially why I don't like getting close to most people anymore.

I'm actually not sure if I want to talk. I feel unreasonably angry.


----------



## Scaptain

Alright finally.


----------



## scintilla

It's possible that I might be getting my own pet cat soon. I'm trying not to get too excited or ahead of myself but :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3

Nobody reply to this I don't want to curse it by celebrating too soon : b


----------



## Red2N

Pretty damn good. It's actually coming home.


----------



## komorikun

Too many ****ing helicopters lately. So noisy. The trains have been bad too. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding, huge 80 zillion ton metal thing going clunk, ding ding ding ding ding. Just shut up already. Don't know why but the trains get worse at like 2am.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****tier than the back alleys of India.


----------



## CNikki

Can't get myself motivated. Still a bit discouraged. Someone in a vegetative state has more life in them than I do.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Red2N said:


> Pretty damn good. It's actually coming home.


You mean France. :b


----------



## Spinfulness

Excuse me , I just posted here but my post doesn't seem to appear, can anyone help me please ?


----------



## Spinfulness

It seems to work now so here I go.

I lost so much memory and my mind is so hazy all the time that I cannot even remember when it all started.

I recall that I was always *daydreaming as a child*, and that others children would tease me because I would always be slow to react, even though I believe that my intellect is normal since I managed to go to College.

However, I know for sure that it was there as far back as late *June 2014.*

By the way I was always in books/screens in my childhood and teenage years, I never went out, had no friends, and always (and still have) a very low strength, even lower than a girl's, which led me to be bullied. Not sure if any of what I just typed is relevant though.

I never drank any alcohol, or did any drugs or smoked even just for trying. I take next to no medication on a dayli basis.

*I don't know if I really suffer from Derealization or not, or even If I have others disorders, so I will list all of my symptoms* :

-_Lost Memories_ : I *lose memories all the time*, be it from my childhood, my teenage years, or even recent trivial memories. I frequently have some ideas, then forget it the next moment, or I get up to do something, anything, then realize once I'm standing that *I just forgot* *my purpose*. Many of my bad memories including anxiety, stress and fear seem to just disappear from my mind, even though they were quite important events.

-_Time_ : My *perception of time is skewed*. The last school year, for example, feel like it happened in two or three months top.

-_Concentration_ : I always look tired, or high. *My mind is always hazy*, I always have to concentrate hard to retrieve lost memories or doing a maths exercise for example.

-I'm always derealized, it doesn't come in outburst like others. It can get quite nasty at time, when I'm tired or when talking to someone, anyone, which is why I actively avoid all relationships ( but I wonder if this won't actually increase my hypothetical derealization ? )

-I also have the regular symptoms associated with derealization others symptoms relevant to those on the net

-My speech and demeanor always comes off as *nonchalant*.

-I have sometimes difficulties for speaking. I want to speak, and I'm about to just say it, but there is a sort of mind block that prevents me to do so. I also have a low voice when suffering from an big outburst of derealization, so most of the time people don't hear me when I talk, as if I underestimate the amount of volume my speech needs to be heard.

-_Lucid Dreams_ : Since 2014 my dreams are much more life-like. I always know that I am dreaming when I do, which allows me to have great experiences but it has its drawbacks : whenever I wake up from one of those dreams I remember them almost perfectly, *with more clarity than some of the real events* that occur in my life. This leads me to feel like dream is more real than reality, and my « dream life » has taken a large place in my rather empty life.

-I feel a bit tired all the time, mentally and physically.

-I'm pretty passive, and pretty much an spectator of my life. I never tried anything cool by teenage standards like alcohol, weed, cigarettes. After elementary school I never pushed boundaries with my parents, and* I struggle to bear a grudge against anyone. I also hate being angry.*

I am looking for any solutions to any of my problems, and any advice on *how to find a good therapist* (I live near Paris).

Thanks for reading this and helping me.


----------



## 8888

Spinfulness said:


> It seems to work now so here I go.
> 
> I lost so much memory and my mind is so hazy all the time that I cannot even remember when it all started.
> 
> I recall that I was always *daydreaming as a child*, and that others children would tease me because I would always be slow to react, even though I believe that my intellect is normal since I managed to go to College.
> 
> However, I know for sure that it was there as far back as late *June 2014.*
> 
> By the way I was always in books/screens in my childhood and teenage years, I never went out, had no friends, and always (and still have) a very low strength, even lower than a girl's, which led me to be bullied. Not sure if any of what I just typed is relevant though.
> 
> I never drank any alcohol, or did any drugs or smoked even just for trying. I take next to no medication on a dayli basis.
> 
> *I don't know if I really suffer from Derealization or not, or even If I have others disorders, so I will list all of my symptoms* :
> 
> -_Lost Memories_ : I *lose memories all the time*, be it from my childhood, my teenage years, or even recent trivial memories. I frequently have some ideas, then forget it the next moment, or I get up to do something, anything, then realize once I'm standing that *I just forgot* *my purpose*. Many of my bad memories including anxiety, stress and fear seem to just disappear from my mind, even though they were quite important events.
> 
> -_Time_ : My *perception of time is skewed*. The last school year, for example, feel like it happened in two or three months top.
> 
> -_Concentration_ : I always look tired, or high. *My mind is always hazy*, I always have to concentrate hard to retrieve lost memories or doing a maths exercise for example.
> 
> -I'm always derealized, it doesn't come in outburst like others. It can get quite nasty at time, when I'm tired or when talking to someone, anyone, which is why I actively avoid all relationships ( but I wonder if this won't actually increase my hypothetical derealization ? )
> 
> -I also have the regular symptoms associated with derealization others symptoms relevant to those on the net
> 
> -My speech and demeanor always comes off as *nonchalant*.
> 
> -I have sometimes difficulties for speaking. I want to speak, and I'm about to just say it, but there is a sort of mind block that prevents me to do so. I also have a low voice when suffering from an big outburst of derealization, so most of the time people don't hear me when I talk, as if I underestimate the amount of volume my speech needs to be heard.
> 
> -_Lucid Dreams_ : Since 2014 my dreams are much more life-like. I always know that I am dreaming when I do, which allows me to have great experiences but it has its drawbacks : whenever I wake up from one of those dreams I remember them almost perfectly, *with more clarity than some of the real events* that occur in my life. This leads me to feel like dream is more real than reality, and my « dream life » has taken a large place in my rather empty life.
> 
> -I feel a bit tired all the time, mentally and physically.
> 
> -I'm pretty passive, and pretty much an spectator of my life. I never tried anything cool by teenage standards like alcohol, weed, cigarettes. After elementary school I never pushed boundaries with my parents, and* I struggle to bear a grudge against anyone. I also hate being angry.*
> 
> I am looking for any solutions to any of my problems, and any advice on *how to find a good therapist* (I live near Paris).
> 
> Thanks for reading this and helping me.


I think you should start a thread on this in secondary disorders, I think you will get more replies. I'm afraid I'm not of much help other than a :squeeze


----------



## Taaylah

My eyelid has been spasming a lot lately near my brow one. For a month my lower eyelid did the same when I was in high school. I had my first boyfriend and was very stressed out. I'm not sure why it's happening now since I'm not particularly stressed out about anything. It's like this except on top:


----------



## copper

komorikun said:


> You could just become more nocturnal. Stay up late. Wake up late.
> 
> How come the sunset is so late where you are even though you aren't all that far up north? Is it due to where you are in your time zone?
> 
> Now I know why your username is* copper*.


The Central time zones cuts through th SW part of th UP. We should be in central. They voted on it to change us to central time here but it failed to pass.


----------



## Crisigv

Taaylah said:


> My eyelid has been spasming a lot lately near my brow one. For a month my lower eyelid did the same when I was in high school. I had my first boyfriend and was very stressed out. I'm not sure why it's happening now since I'm not particularly stressed out about anything. It's like this except on top:


Mine briefly twitch after I sneeze and also if I'm very tired.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Down in the dumps.


----------



## funnynihilist

Why can't I have anything nice?


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lightly toasted


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Horny.


----------



## Crisigv

Tired and down. I should go to bed to avoid anything worse.


----------



## CNikki

A bit nauseated. Hope I’ll fall asleep soon enough.


----------



## AnxiousMary

I'm feeling so low and desperate. I'm dissatisfied with myself and my life and feel as if I'm paralyzed and can do nothing with it. I've been feeling this way for 70% of the time in the last 9-10 month. It's very exhausting. Whatever distant memories I have about nice things that happened in this period of time feel like a glitch, and like they were not real to start with.

Every time those nice things happened, I thought to myself "oh, maybe this dark part of my life is over, and it's a light one now". Nope. They were gone fast and things were back to "normal", very dark normal.


----------



## Red2N

Pete Beale said:


> You mean France. :b


Nooonononoo. How can you say that!?


----------



## Suchness

I feel hopeful.


----------



## girlyone1

Tired, didn't get enough sleep.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Misanthropic.


----------



## cubsfandave

AnxiousMary said:


> I'm feeling so low and desperate. I'm dissatisfied with myself and my life and feel as if I'm paralyzed and can do nothing with it. I've been feeling this way for 70% of the time in the last 9-10 month. It's very exhausting. Whatever distant memories I have about nice things that happened in this period of time feel like a glitch, and like they were not real to start with.
> 
> Every time those nice things happened, I thought to myself "oh, maybe this dark part of my life is over, and it's a light one now". Nope. They were gone fast and things were back to "normal", very dark normal.


 @AnxiousMary I'm basically in the same boat. 36, no friends, job that gives me no satisfaction and the older I get the more lonely and awful I feel. The past couple months things have gotten so dark I basically drink vodka whenever I'm not at work. Things really started going downhill 3 years ago and it feels like there is no bottom.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Red2N said:


> Nooonononoo. How can you say that!?


Coz I'm a miserable, pessimistic, c*** :b


SamanthaStrange said:


> Misanthropic.


:frown2:



C137 said:


> Lonely devastation continues. Discarded husk decaying.


I feel your pain. :frown2:


----------



## AnxiousMary

cubsfandave said:


> @AnxiousMary I'm basically in the same boat. 36, no friends, job that gives me no satisfaction and the older I get the more lonely and awful I feel. The past couple months things have gotten so dark I basically drink vodka whenever I'm not at work. Things really started going downhill 3 years ago and it feels like there is no bottom.


I truly feel like there is no bottom.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

AnxiousMary said:


> I truly feel like there is no bottom.


I feel the same as you and Dave, Mary. :frown2:

Btw how far apart are you two? You're the same age and maybe you could meet up if you're close enough.


----------



## cubsfandave

Illinois here.


----------



## CNikki

Like ****.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious. Lonely.


----------



## Crisigv

Not the best


----------



## Smiddy

Heartbroken


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired from a long day with family members. It was my aunt and uncle's 50th anniversary party lol


----------



## AnxiousMary

cubsfandave said:


> Illinois here.


Too far  Still feel like crap.

Went to a friend's birthday, and my ex brought his new date to it. Apparently, one of my closest girlfriends was the one, who introduced them (ex and his new date) to each other at an event I wasn't invited to and didn't know about. All of this makes me sick to my stomach and disappointed. Disappointed in choices I made, how poorly I choose people to date and be friends with. And sad.

I feel sometimes like the town I live in is a purgatory of some kind, and I somehow have to face all my issues and suffer, suffer, suffer, before I'll be able to leave it.


----------



## Equine24

Depressed as always. Everyday is the same to me. I am worthless in life and to others I encounter. I'm tired of this so-called life and getting up every day knowing nothing new will happen. I wish I could lay down, sleep, and dream for the rest of my days. Mentally staying within pure fantasy, because reality is killing me. I resent people so much and I don't want to be around anyone anymore.


----------



## Zatch

Enlightened. Wasn't sure how to handle the situation for weeks and someone gave me a nutshell solution in less than an hour's conversation.

Now I just need to execute... Deary me.


----------



## Crisigv

Horrible, I can't stop crying. No one in this house cares about anyone. It's like we're all neighbours who don't want to know each other living together. I live with robots who have no emotion and I have too much. My own mother made me cry and didn't give a damn.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> Horrible, I can't stop crying. No one in this house cares about anyone. It's like we're all neighbours who don't want to know each other living together. I live with robots who have no emotion and I have too much. My own mother made me cry and didn't give a damn.


Sounds ****. :frown2:

My folks are fine but I'm bored to death of em tbh. I'd be out of here like diarrhea out of an Ethiopian if I could afford it.


----------



## Crisigv

Pete Beale said:


> Sounds ****. :frown2:
> 
> My folks are fine but I'm bored to death of em tbh. I'd be out of here like diarrhea out of an Ethiopian if I could afford it.


And when you think you've hit bottom for the morning, it gets worse.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Anxious. Agitated and uncertain.


----------



## CNikki

Crisigv said:


> Horrible, I can't stop crying. No one in this house cares about anyone. It's like we're all neighbours who don't want to know each other living together. I live with robots who have no emotion and I have too much. My own mother made me cry and didn't give a damn.


:hug

It sucks but some people are too set in their ways to really think about others.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pretty crappy, I have a sinus headache. And the usual depression and loneliness, of course.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Horrible, I can't stop crying. No one in this house cares about anyone. It's like we're all neighbors who don't want to know each other living together. I live with robots who have no emotion and I have too much. *My own mother made me cry and didn't give a damn.*


 :hug :squeeze

That sounds horrible. People who do this to others are beyond toxic.

*Your mother sounds like she might as well be a sociopath if she can do that to her own daughter.*


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Pretty crappy, I have a sinus headache. And the usual depression and loneliness, of course.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Numb and emotionless.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Numb and emotionless.


Can you feel this shoulder rub?

*rubs shoulder*


----------



## riverbird

Exhausted. Two cups of coffee made me jittery but did nothing to help wake me up. This is dumb.


----------



## momentsunset

Content. I'm just becoming more accepting of the way things are. I may not be jazzed about everything but it's not me to control everything that happens in life or how things are, and it's selfish for me to expect that life owes me happiness all the time. Trusting that everything happens for a reason.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Gutted over what could have been.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel like a totally different person, hahaha.


----------



## Zatch

^ This.

I've been feeling pugnacious lately. Dabbling in activities that get the adrenaline pumping.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> Can you feel this shoulder rub?
> 
> *rubs shoulder*


Thanks.

I am listening to this prank call and now I am happy. For now. Lol.






>:grin2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Happy, laughing after watching this -






Adorable, funny at the same time. :grin2:

The reclining hero position at 0.44+ made me laugh. :lol

Cute face made me go awww.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Miserable. Tired of not having a clue what to do. Tired of missing someone who want's nothing to do with me. I just want to go in my sleep. I'm too old and broken to keep feeling like this. I've lost even more weight due to feeling like **** constantly. I feel physically ill with loss and worry all the ****ing time. My folks would be better off without me. They wouldn't have to see me suffer anymore and it would be a relief for them after they'd grieved.


----------



## 0589471

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Thanks.
> 
> I am listening to this prank call and now I am happy. For now. Lol.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> >:grin2:


haha, I love those switchboard prank calls. They often cheer me up too


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> haha, I love those switchboard prank calls. They often cheer me up too


Good taste darling. :lol


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> Miserable. Tired of not having a clue what to do. Tired of missing someone who want's nothing to do with me. I just want to go in my sleep. I'm too old and broken to keep feeling like this. I've lost even more weight due to feeling like **** constantly. I feel physically ill with loss and worry all the ****ing time. My folks would be better off without me. They wouldn't have to see me suffer anymore and it would be a relief for them after they'd grieved.


:rub


----------



## 0589471

anxious. sudden hurricane blew in, lots of dust, rain, lightning, and high speed wind. I got off the road & home just in time. My neighbor's fence got knocked down and it's trash day so some bins are just flying everywhere. I keep hoping my neighbors brought their animals inside. 

I helped my sister bring in our trash bins that flew across the yard and hit the giant palm trees. Getting hit in the face in that wind, you can't breathe and visibility and movement is very difficult. I hope it passes soon, my brother works outside so I hope he's ok.


----------



## funnynihilist

Had some awful spaghetti and meatballs earlier and I still don't feel right.
The sauce was like there was no sugar in it whatsoever. Sour!
The meatballs were like some fake meat.
I would have complained but I was with an out of town friend who I only see a couple times a year and didn't want to make a big thing about it.
Now I suffer and it was a waste of $11!

Edit: guess I'll try to have some toast later. Its all just kinda sitting in there.
The salad was pretty good. Big. And the blue cheese dressing was good but the rest was not good.
The beer was good.

Edit: this whole week has been like a calvalcade of bad food.
The pretzel pizza the other day wasn't too good either.
Guess I need to stick to simple stuff, like toast.


----------



## 1solated

Really good actually, I'm making some covers of one of my favorite video game OSsT so I feel like I'm accomplishing something.


----------



## girlyone1

Good. Chill day at work.


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling okay,no much pressure


----------



## 0589471

Ewww mystery meat! I've had meatballs like that, very unpleasant. I imagine having eaten a cow lung, heart, liver or something.

You know I had that experience with pretzel pizza too! it just was disappointing. No more experimenting I suppose lol


funnynihilist said:


> Had some awful spaghetti and meatballs earlier and I still don't feel right.
> The sauce was like there was no sugar in it whatsoever. Sour!
> The meatballs were like some fake meat.
> I would have complained but I was with an out of town friend who I only see a couple times a year and didn't want to make a big thing about it.
> Now I suffer and it was a waste of $11!
> 
> Edit: guess I'll try to have some toast later. Its all just kinda sitting in there.
> The salad was pretty good. Big. And the blue cheese dressing was good but the rest was not good.
> The beer was good.
> 
> Edit: this whole week has been like a calvalcade of bad food.
> The pretzel pizza the other day wasn't too good either.
> Guess I need to stick to simple stuff, like toast.


----------



## 3stacks

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Ewww mystery meat! I've had meatballs like that, very unpleasant. I imagine having eaten a cow lung, heart, liver or something.
> 
> You know I had that experience with pretzel pizza too! it just was disappointing. No more experimenting I suppose lol
> 
> 
> funnynihilist said:
> 
> 
> 
> Had some awful spaghetti and meatballs earlier and I still don't feel right.
> The sauce was like there was no sugar in it whatsoever. Sour!
> The meatballs were like some fake meat.
> I would have complained but I was with an out of town friend who I only see a couple times a year and didn't want to make a big thing about it.
> Now I suffer and it was a waste of $11!
> 
> Edit: guess I'll try to have some toast later. Its all just kinda sitting in there.
> The salad was pretty good. Big. And the blue cheese dressing was good but the rest was not good.
> The beer was good.
> 
> Edit: this whole week has been like a calvalcade of bad food.
> The pretzel pizza the other day wasn't too good either.
> Guess I need to stick to simple stuff, like toast.
Click to expand...

 hehe mystery meat


----------



## birddookie

@iAmCodeMonkey:hug

@ SamanthaStrange Hope your sinus, loneliness, and depression go away.:hug


@riverbird Someone must be playing a prank on you and put decaf in the normal coffee.:O

@momentsunset Most things in life have to be earned, and happiness is more of an attitude imo. It seems sometimes people who seem to have the worst crap happen to them, will be happy, while others who hardly have any bad things happen to them are miserable.Social anxiety hinders you to happiness, I never met any happy people who had social anxiety, they were usually outgoing and cheerful people. Saying that, I hope you can find a way to be happy.:smile2:

@twytarn Nice! Ask who am I.:grin2:

@Crisigv Sorry to hear that, your own family shouldn't be going that to you.*:squeeze
*

@Pete Beale Please stay strong, it might all seem hopeless, but things can change.:hug

@A Toxic Butterfly Hope y'all stay safe.:hug Praying your bro gets home safely, and to all the folks being impacted by the storm.

@funnynihilist Ewww, and they had the gall to charge 11 bucks for that? Only thing to do is get Taco Bell, it will get things moving again.

@1solated Nice which game?

@girlyone1 Same, even though I only worked 4 hours today.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

birddookie said:


> @@ SamanthaStrange Hope your sinus, loneliness, and depression go away. :hug
> 
> [MENTION=590633]twytarn Nice! Ask who am I.:grin2:


We both thank you.

But I am having 2nd thoughts. Idk wtf I'm doing. :hide :lol


----------



## 0589471

lol I admit I had a split-second panic a certain _somebody_ returned and tried to copy you by stealing your avatar. Glad it was just a username change and it's still you 


twytarn said:


> We both thank you.
> 
> But I am having 2nd thoughts. Idk wtf I'm doing. :hide


----------



## SamanthaStrange

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> lol I admit I had a split-second panic a certain _somebody_ returned and tried to copy you by stealing your avatar. Glad it was just a username change and it's still you


:? Just me being, well, strange.  Thanks, lol.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@birddookie

Thank you.


----------



## 1solated

@birddookie King's Field (USA version) for the PS1


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Miserable. Tired of not having a clue what to do. Tired of missing someone who want's nothing to do with me. I just want to go in my sleep. I'm too old and broken to keep feeling like this. I've lost even more weight due to feeling like **** constantly. I feel physically ill with loss and worry all the ****ing time. My folks would be better off without me. They wouldn't have to see me suffer anymore and it would be a relief for them after they'd grieved.


Please no. 



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> anxious. sudden hurricane blew in, lots of dust, rain, lightning, and high speed wind. I got off the road & home just in time. My neighbor's fence got knocked down and it's trash day so some bins are just flying everywhere. I keep hoping my neighbors brought their animals inside.
> 
> I helped my sister bring in our trash bins that flew across the yard and hit the giant palm trees. Getting hit in the face in that wind, you can't breathe and visibility and movement is very difficult. I hope it passes soon, my brother works outside so I hope he's ok.


We had a similar storm not long ago with up to 200km/h+ winds. Highish winds yesterday too.


----------



## funnynihilist

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> You know I had that experience with pretzel pizza too! it just was disappointing. No more experimenting I suppose lol


What is up with the pretzel pizza? It sure looked good on the picture then I got it and it was more like breadstick dough. Then everyone around me was whispering "oh look, *thats* that pretzel pizza." Whatsamatta with these bozos?


----------



## sad1231234

Pretty good actually  even though i have a mountain of problems lol... it is all perspective and mindset.


----------



## 0589471

funnynihilist said:


> What is up with the pretzel pizza? It sure looked good on the picture then I got it and it was more like breadstick dough. Then everyone around me was whispering "oh look, *thats* that pretzel pizza." Whatsamatta with these bozos?


yeah like salted dough doesn't mean it's a pretzel. Big trick


----------



## SofaKing

F bombs, o' plenty.


----------



## birddookie

twytarn said:


> We both thank you.
> 
> But I am having 2nd thoughts. Idk wtf I'm doing. :hide :lol


:eyes Your both welcome! Hope the name change helps you. Lol, it'll be all cleared up in due time.... Are you going to change your name offline as well?:grin2:



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> @birddookie
> 
> Thank you.


:smile2:



1solated said:


> @*birddookie* King's Field (USA version) for the PS1


That's awesome...Holly cow, not that game. I tried it on an emulator, and it kept kicking my arse. It lives up as a spiritual prequel to the Souls series:O


----------



## 0589471

SofaKing said:


> F bombs, o' plenty.


:squeeze what's the matter?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> F bombs, o' plenty.


That does not sound good.


----------



## 1solated

birddookie said:


> :eyes Your both welcome! Hope the name change helps you. Lol, it'll be all cleared up in due time.... Are you going to change your name offline as well?:grin2:
> 
> :smile2:
> 
> That's awesome...Holly cow, not that game. I tried it on an emulator, and it kept kicking my arse. It lives up as a spiritual prequel to the Souls series:O


I'm shocked somebody here besides me has played it hahaha. Yes it started the From Software tradition of enraging millions of gamers worldwide with unfair gameplay challenge. I beat it once on the ps1 but had to use a walk-through.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Confused.

So when this bear attempts to eat his arm it means feed him more cake now? -






:O


----------



## Taaylah

Great right now! I didn’t go to sleep and initially it makes me feel really good but then I crash later. It was in an effort to get my sleep cycle back on track. That’s probabaly the wrong way to do it and I’m probabaly going to fall asleep sometime during the day.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Wish I hadn't woke up. I started using SA sites in 2009 and a year later I met her, so she was their almost the whole time. I was a complete recluse at the time and hadn't been outside for years. I'm never going to get over losing her so I just want this **** to be over with now. She has no idea how much I needed her. I wish something would strike me down.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

i feel fine, for now.
Calling around to find a dental practice later today is going to suck, i can already tell.


----------



## SofaKing

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> :squeeze what's the matter?





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> That does not sound good.


Thanks. Just feeling sorry for myself. I don't think I'll ever get what I really want. Frustrated.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Thanks. Just feeling sorry for myself. I don't think I'll ever get what I really want. Frustrated.


I understand. "rubs shoulder"


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I understand. "rubs shoulder"


And you forgot to say Mi Scusi. 

Oh, big tunnel.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> And you forgot to say Mi Scusi.


Si signore.


----------



## Zatch

Numb. Don't really mind, had a weird night.


----------



## CNikki

Annoyed. Between being bothered by certain individuals and being told to stay positive, especially from those who have no ****ing clue about the situation, I just want to completely shut out.


----------



## Chevy396

Ferocious


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Horrible. I haven't had a headache this bad in a long time. I probably need a shot of Imitrex, nothing else is working. Grrr. :cry


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****

Hope I go in my sleep again. I genuinely don't care if I go. I don't want to live with all the regrets and feeling powerless to make any worthwhile changes anymore. Facing a midlife crisis when you're a mess of mental health issues, and lonely as ****, is a ****ing nightmare I face everyday. I just feel beaten down and stuck, all the ****ing time. Life's been trying to kill me since day one, so ****ing kill me tonight while I'm asleep.


----------



## mgra

Not too great. I feel like I'm OK when I keep myself busy, but as soon as I hit the bed and have too much time to think I just don't feel too well.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

My nose is all stuffed up from a combination of the AC air and the muggy air in my room.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> ****
> 
> Hope I go in my sleep again. I genuinely don't care if I go. I don't want to live with all the regrets and feeling powerless to make any worthwhile changes anymore. Facing a midlife crisis when you're a mess of mental health issues, and lonely as ****, is a ****ing nightmare I face everyday. I just feel beaten down and stuck, all the ****ing time. Life's been trying to kill me since day one, so ****ing kill me tonight while I'm asleep.


"rubs shoulder"


----------



## bayberry

Optimistic and nervous for the future.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Si signore.


If seen Eurotrip movie you'll understand what I mean.

It is this scene at 2:33+ -


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling good today,just came back from a jog,slow jog


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel really weird. My stomach is bothering me, and my thoughts are spinning.


----------



## birddookie

1solated said:


> I'm shocked somebody here besides me has played it hahaha. Yes it started the From Software tradition of enraging millions of gamers worldwide with unfair gameplay challenge. I beat it once on the ps1 but had to use a walk-through.


Lol yeah it was one I found after Dark Souls, I might need a guide because it's probably more open ended then the Souls games. Games from the 90's didn't care if you were lost.:laugh:



twytarn said:


> Horrible. I haven't had a headache this bad in a long time. I probably need a shot of Imitrex, nothing else is working. Grrr. :cry


Here, this is what I could find on how to relieve a headache, please try some to see if they help. I hope the headache goes away.:hug:rub


Close your eyes and rest. ...
Massage your *neck* and temples. ...
Warm up your *neck* Try putting a heating pad or a warm cloth around your *neck* and the base of your skull to ease tension headaches. ...
Relax. ...
Minimize stress. ...
https://www.webmd.com/migraines-headaches/5-ways-to-get-rid-of-headache

@ANX1 LMAO where do you find these videos?


----------



## 0589471

exhausted lol babysat my 5 small nieces and nephews for 10 hours. Little kids eat A LOT, just small portions in 15 minute intervals. Also the dog kept tracking mud inside and throwing up. I came home covered in mud, applesauce, and marker on my clothes but I love them to pieces. Definitely showered because I did a lot of diaper changes and cleaning up after doggy. I'm done with life for like the next 7 days


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Sweaty (my room can get like that in summer, with no fan or aircon). I don't really have any problems with getting to sleep through that, but am worried about other things as well. Wish I could go swimming somewhere, but would be embarassed that my body doesn't look toned enough anymore


----------



## Jaitreasach

Confused. Lost? Nervous


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

birddookie said:


> @*ANX1* LMAO where do you find these videos?


Just have watched many movies, seen many things on Youtube to do with many subjects and when people mention something I know where to find them.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> exhausted lol babysat my 5 small nieces and nephews for 10 hours. Little kids eat A LOT, just small portions in 15 minute intervals. Also the dog kept tracking mud inside and throwing up. I came home covered in mud, applesauce, and marker on my clothes but I love them to pieces. Definitely showered because I did a lot of diaper changes and cleaning up after doggy. I'm done with life for like the next 7 days


Awww. :hug

You are such a good second mum to them. 

Oh changing diapers. :O

Cleaned that type of puke thing before, so can relate to that.

I like it when kids come up with funny jokes. 



LydeaCharlotte said:


> Sweaty (my room can get like that in summer, with no fan or aircon). I don't really have any problems with getting to sleep through that, but am worried about other things as well.


 :hug

I hope you the other things that are worrying you sorted. 



I_Exist said:


> I feel really weird. My stomach is bothering me, and my thoughts are spinning.


Sounds like are tired, or anxious. Or both.


----------



## The Linux Guy

@ANX1 You know, same oh, same oh.


----------



## scintilla

I didn't sleep well last night so after class I decided to sleep for a few hours. I dreamed about someone really important to me, someone I love. I woke up missing them like crazy and just feeling proper sad about things.


----------



## Wren611

I hate my existence. I don't want it anymore.


----------



## rmb1990

The best days of my life are all behind me, and they weren’t even enjoyable. I can’t see the future being an improvement. I just feel so old and lifeless. On the plus side I started eating healthier to lose weight and for the first time in 8 years I’m actually able to stick with it even though I have food addiction issues.


----------



## Chris S W

Squiffy.


----------



## girlyone1

Sad and happy if that's possible. The sadness keeps coming and going, maybe because I'm trying to block it out.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Tired of the depression. I don't know why I thought something good could happen to me and last.


----------



## CNikki

I don't really know at this point. Lately I've been crying at a drop of a hat. Now I might have legitimate reasons to. I try to remain hopeful but it seems just about impossible.


----------



## i suck at life

bored as heck
useless
feeling like im wasting my life away


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I miss my name. So indecisive, lol.


----------



## harrison

twytarn said:


> I miss my name. So indecisive, lol.


Well at the very least you could explain to the slow ones here (meaning me) what the new one means.

Then change it back.


----------



## harrison

Well, there's a slight buzzing inside my head and a sort of strange excited feeling in my chest. I have no fear or anxiety at all - one advantage of mild mania I guess. I do want to go and buy everything I possibly can though - and then get the next flight out of here. (bit of a problem)


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Stuffed up nose. Tummy feels woozy and bloated. Lonely as usual.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

harrison said:


> Well at the very least you could explain to the slow ones here (meaning me) what the new one means.
> 
> Then change it back.


It's an acronym for "type what you're thinking about right now" in honor of one of my favorite threads. Don't worry, only 2 people figured it out. You're not slow, I'm just loopy. :lol


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> I don't really know at this point. Lately I've been crying at a drop of a hat. Now I might have legitimate reasons to. I try to remain hopeful but it seems just about impossible.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## 0589471

Ahhh ok, I must not be an acronym person I never get those anyway. Happy to know 


twytarn said:


> It's an acronym for "type what you're thinking about right now" in honor of one of my favorite threads. Don't worry, only 2 people figured it out. You're not slow, I'm just loopy.


----------



## cybernaut

[Undeniably]Depressed. But, using everything as a distraction. My studies. Music. Anime. This forum that I somehow decided to log on to after being MIA for a month.


----------



## Flora20

Lonely and depressed, bored with everything... feel so uninspired to do much of anything, just empty really..


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

ANX1 said:


> Awww. :hug
> 
> You are such a good second mum to them.
> 
> Oh changing diapers. :O
> 
> Cleaned that type of puke thing before, so can relate to that.
> 
> I like it when kids come up with funny jokes.
> 
> :hug
> 
> I hope you the other things that are worrying you sorted.
> 
> Sounds like are tired, or anxious. Or both.


Thanks for that.


----------



## Zatch

Slightly dreading work in a few hours. Meep.



mgra said:


> as soon as I hit the bed and have too much time to think I just don't feel too well.


Same here. Bed and rumination don't mix well with me usually. I suppose it's the closest thing I have to any sort of therapy.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

LydeaCharlotte said:


> Thanks for that.


You're welcome.


----------



## scintilla

I'm planing/arranging a solo trip abroad and it's intimidating. So I am feeling nervous. But I'd much rather do that than stay at home feeling sad/sorry for myself. I want to face my fears and I want to actually live my life instead of always letting it pass by and never taking charge.


----------



## SofaKing

scintilla said:


> I'm planing/arranging a solo trip abroad and it's intimidating. So I am feeling nervous. But I'd much rather do that than stay at home feeling sad/sorry for myself. I want to face my fears and I want to actually live my life instead of always letting it pass by and never taking charge.


Congratulations on your initiative. Bon voyage!


----------



## SofaKing

Off to a rocky start today...totally unmotivated to tackle work items. Something has got to change.


----------



## Suchness

Well, I feel pretty ****ing good.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Tired of the loneliness and thought's of how good last summer was, where the lifetime of loneliness had finally been relieved. Now it's back to feeling that ****ing chronic longing for someone again.


----------



## SofaKing

Longing for a specific taste I miss.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mixed emotions. I feel another crying spell coming on too.


----------



## girlyone1

Soooo tired, but gotta go to work.


----------



## CNikki

Tackled one issue that has bothered me for at least a few days. So I have some relief over it and hope it ultimately follows through.



twytarn said:


> Mixed emotions. I feel another crying spell coming on too.


:hug I hate when those happen.


----------



## CNikki

scintilla said:


> I'm planing/arranging a solo trip abroad and it's intimidating. So I am feeling nervous. But I'd much rather do that than stay at home feeling sad/sorry for myself. I want to face my fears and I want to actually live my life instead of always letting it pass by and never taking charge.


Ooh, awesome! Have a good trip!


----------



## scintilla

SofaKing said:


> Congratulations on your initiative. Bon voyage!





CNikki said:


> Ooh, awesome! Have a good trip!


Thanks guys!


----------



## Ai

I feel a little more anxious than usual. Kinda antsy. No real reason. I wonder if perhaps it's because I drank a little yesterday... I'm technically not supposed to because of my meds. But it's never had that effect before.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

On today's episode of: _What The Hell is Wrong with Ai's Body This Time..._


----------



## Yu89

I'm hungry but I don't feel like eating.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I’ve been home all day in an anticipatory state of anxiety


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Hoping I go in my sleep again. I don't want to deal with the thoughts of being this age and not having a clue what to do about the constant avoidant behaviour. The regrets, endless ****ing loneliness and hopelessness are too much. Everyday's filled with constant agitation because I'm trapped and nothing or no one will take it away. I'm alone in all this **** and always have been. Life hasn't worked out for me and I want it over with. I want to be free and there is no freedom in my life. I'm tortured by the prison that is my body and mind.


----------



## 3stacks

Probably the worst I've ever felt. I've been sobbing for two days, I didn't even know I could cry. Makes me feel weak and pathetic. I just want to die now.


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling okay,drank some cold drinks even though the weather is hot


----------



## harrison

twytarn said:


> It's an acronym for "type what you're thinking about right now" in honor of one of my favorite threads. Don't worry, only 2 people figured it out. You're not slow, I'm just loopy. :lol


Oh - okay. Yeah, I'm afraid I'm not up with all these internet acronyms etc.

(I am a bit slow though)


----------



## CNikki

Sad and angry. So sangry?

Failed joke aside, I had yet another one of those 'deep conversations' with my mother. It's not often we get to do so and if we do it's under certain conditions. I love her from the bottom of my heart and I know that if it weren't for her I would've been gone long ago. She's not perfect by any means but just going with what she knows so I can't be completely resentful or angry. With that said, I'm just so tired of the denial she has for when it comes to problems that need to be addressed that it almost makes me want to distance myself from her as I have been with my father. She went through so much in her life that denial is probably what makes her cope. But I'm fed up because she doesn't realize or doesn't want to realize how hurtful it can get.


----------



## Crisigv

A little down and lonely


----------



## harrison

Better than yesterday.


----------



## 1solated

Crisigv said:


> A little down and lonely


Same unfortunately



3stacks said:


> Probably the worst I've ever felt. I've been sobbing for two days, I didn't even know I could cry. Makes me feel weak and pathetic. I just want to die now.


What's got you down?


----------



## Greys0n

right now I am relaxed


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I'm still alive so not good. Here we go again, ffs. Another day of avoidance, worry, loneliness and longing. I've given up on life and I'm just waiting to die. I feel like I've lost my sense of humour, the part of me that is outgoing, and hope. I'm turning into a regretful, bitter person. No point trying to do anything because I feel empty and dead inside. Can't even enjoy something to eat when I used to be a massive foodie.


----------



## caelle

I'm sick and I have to go to work like this. Ugh. I went to work sick yesterday and barely made it. But I HAVE to go in today at least. Maybe I wont go tomorrow.


----------



## Zatch

Sore, exhausted, used. I'll suck it up as the day goes on.

Momentum is not up for compromise.


----------



## 3stacks

1solated said:


> Same unfortunately
> 
> What's got you down?


Good friend of mine is seriously sick :frown2:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Incredibly bored and lonely. I'd give anything to go back a year. 

I've got no one again other than my folks and can't stand this ****.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

C137 said:


> Another awful day. I wish I had never met her. It's become so incredibly unpleasant.


:squeeze

I don't wish I'd never met her. I've got a lot of good memories. It's painful as hell losing her though.


----------



## 0589471

I have a feeling the girl I made lunch plans with for today will forget. We used to work together and she's really nice, but often gets caught up in her work she's prone to forget. I really hope I don't get stood up. 

edit: Yay she remembered. Had a very nice visit. was glad to know I was missed.


----------



## BeamingNow

Derpressed. Not ready for another lonely weekend


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

C137 said:


> Unfortunately the person I met has proven to be incredibly incompatible with me. And she makes no bones about it. And it's this odd catch 22. Too complicated to detail. But I've come to the conclusion it was not worth meeting her. Maybe it's a learning experience? IDK. But for me I'm not so sure it was worth the heartache and torment and constant belittling of me.


I'm sorry you feel this way man. It is a learning experience and I hope you can move on and use all you've learned in the future, and find someone who treats you right!


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling like worthless garbage today. I want to go home and hide.


----------



## SofaKing

Crisigv said:


> Feeling like worthless garbage today. I want to go home and hide.


I'm sorry you feel this way...I feel this way too...I made it through the day, but snuck out a bit early. Now the weekend unfolds before me...yay for me?


----------



## Crisigv

SofaKing said:


> I'm sorry you feel this way...I feel this way too...I made it through the day, but snuck out a bit early. Now the weekend unfolds before me...yay for me?


What weekend?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****e

It's her birthday next week and a couple of day's after that last year I was off on the train to live with her and her mum over the summer in Lincoln. I felt so happy leaving here to spend time with them and the furballs. 

****ing alone and miserable again now.


----------



## Wanderlust26

I was happy for a minute that I got the job, now I'm terrified. Part of my job involves customer service.


----------



## SofaKing

Wanderlust26 said:


> I was happy for a minute that I got the job, now I'm terrified. Part of my job involves customer service.


Congratulations, anyway.


----------



## Wanderlust26

SofaKing said:


> Congratulations, anyway.


Thanks!


----------



## BeautyandRage

Dead inside.


----------



## SofaKing

I have got to find something I can be passionate about....just me and my thoughts are going to destroy me, otherwise.


----------



## Kinable

Lonely...


----------



## kesker

concerningly sleep-deprived--disassembled.


----------



## scooby

Tired and annoyed. Just tried getting more sleep for a few hours, end up tossing and turning the whole time.

I think I'm coming down with a cold. 
Rest in rip, my sleep abilities.


----------



## harrison

I feel good, not _too_ good which I was concerned I would. Bit of a headache but I'll survive.


----------



## Crisigv

Like a bag of ****


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I am mad. People piss me off sometimes.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Slightly dizzy. Bored. Depressed.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## Zatch

Cuddly. Listening to nice songs.


----------



## mgra

Feeling blah again


----------



## Kinable

Guilty even though I know I shouldn't.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Terrible.


----------



## EarthDominator

Horrible. Combination of anxiety and depression.


----------



## Suchness

I've been better. Naturopath gave me something that's supposed to help but it made me feel worse. Usually something like this wears off after a few hours but it went into the night and I still have it today but it's not as bad. Don't feel like taking it again.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired been a long week.


----------



## SofaKing

Frustrated. Lies? I've never wavered...never. But, I'm still the one here...hoping.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Numb.


----------



## CNikki

Useless and powerless. In ****ing tears due to it. I tried.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, lonely and tired


----------



## momentsunset

Amazing  My life is the best it has ever been right now. So grateful.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Horrible.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Frustrated. Lies? I've never wavered...never. But, I'm still the one here...hoping.


:rub



CNikki said:


> Useless and powerless. In ****ing tears due to it. I tried.


:hug :squeeze



Crisigv said:


> Sad, lonely and tired


:hug :squeeze



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Horrible.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## Zatch

Resilient. I shouldn't be so worried about people but it's in my nature.

Once again with the vicious cycle of cutting ties.


----------



## bassmaster

worried and hopeful


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

It's only a matter of time before I become suicidal. Everyday I wake up wishing I'd gone in my sleep.


----------



## CNikki

Not any better than last night, but at least I'm not in tears. Just something that led to a tipping point. Doesn't help when past situations of the subject involved a senseless death, so I guess that became a trigger.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like a broken record.


----------



## Crisigv

A bit down. But I'm glad my bad headache went away. It was making me sick.


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh


----------



## Perkins

Really not looking forward to having to drive all the way to Tigard. Also not looking forward to the finger printing and observation for a ****ty job that I know would make me miserable.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

twytarn said:


> Like a broken record.


So many of us are! :frown2:

I feel terrible again. No idea wtf to do without her. I don't want to move on, and can't move on. I want to try and fix things, but she doesn't.


----------



## Diacetylmorphine

sad


----------



## discopotato

Frustrated. My crippling anxiety always make me miss out on fun things


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

discopotato said:


> Frustrated. My crippling anxiety always make me miss out on fun things


What fun things? I just wish had someone to do fun things with. It's not the anxiety, it's that there's no one to do things with. I still wonder wtf I'd do if I had no anxiety at all.


----------



## discopotato

Pete Beale said:


> What fun things? I just wish had someone to do fun things with. It's not the anxiety, it's that there's no one to do things with. I still wonder wtf I'd do if I had no anxiety at all.


Yeah I never have anyone to do fun things with normally. But on the rare occasion that I do, then I just get overwhelmed and freak out.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

discopotato said:


> Yeah I never have anyone to do fun things with normally. But on the rare occasion that I do, then I just get overwhelmed and freak out.


Is that because of the actual activity or the people, or both?

There's loads of things I want to do, that I'm not anxious to do, but I really don't want to do them on my own. I miss when I could enjoy doing **** on my own. Right now I'm just filled with thought's of, why bother, if it'll just me doing things by myself. It's bloody great when you can share good times with someone, and if what you're doing causes anxiety in you or whoever you're with, it's good opportunity challenge yourselves and bond.


----------



## discopotato

Pete Beale said:


> Is that because of the actual activity or the people, or both?
> 
> There's loads of things I want to do, that I'm not anxious to do, but I really don't want to do them on my own. I miss when I could enjoy doing **** on my own. Right now I'm just filled with thought's of, why bother, if it'll just me doing things by myself. It's bloody great when you can share good times with someone, and if what you're doing causes anxiety in you or whoever you're with, it's good opportunity challenge yourselves and bond.


True. in this case its mainly the person that I'm anxious about. its someone that I'm not completely comfortable with yet.


----------



## momentsunset

I'm so completely excited and nervous at the same time.
Working with my first experienced model for a photo shoot in about a week. This is where I really cannot be shy, as the photographer I have to make myself be comfortable being louder and giving direction, and also be personable. It's a lot of pressure. I think I'm ready, but just so nervous!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Alone.


----------



## 3stacks

momentsunset said:


> I'm so completely excited and nervous at the same time.
> Working with my first experienced model for a photo shoot in about a week. This is where I really cannot be shy, as the photographer I have to make myself be comfortable being louder and giving direction, and also be personable. It's a lot of pressure. I think I'm ready, but just so nervous!


You got this! I know they'll be good.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Alone.


:squeeze

It's hard man. Just been outside at night for the first time in ages, looked up at the sky, and thought, wtf am I going to do? I feel alone, lonely, and can't really feel anything else. I feel like a ****ing child who's lost it's mother. Losing her has completely ruined me. I can't get any peace, enjoy a damn thing. All I feel is her absence in everything. I'm only free, when I'm in a dreamless sleep. So tired of this.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

So-So


----------



## momentsunset

3stacks said:


> You got this! I know they'll be good.


Thank you! Just trying to prepare as much as I can, especially for things that may go wrong. I don't know, maybe my overthinking might actually be beneficial here? lol


----------



## CNikki

Like the crappiest human being.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> :squeeze
> 
> It's hard man. Just been outside at night for the first time in ages, looked up at the sky, and thought, wtf am I going to do? I feel alone, lonely, and can't really feel anything else. I feel like a ****ing child who's lost it's mother. Losing her has completely ruined me. I can't get any peace, enjoy a damn thing. All I feel is her absence in everything. I'm only free, when I'm in a dreamless sleep. So tired of this.


:rub


----------



## 3stacks

momentsunset said:


> Thank you! Just trying to prepare as much as I can, especially for things that may go wrong. I don't know, maybe my overthinking might actually be beneficial here? lol


Yeah I guess it can be good to help you prepare as long as it's not causing you too much anxiety. It's exciting stuff too and from you're photos I've seen I'm sure the photos will be good.


----------



## Kinable

Envious and depressed


----------



## Persephone The Dread

awful.


----------



## Great Expectations

momentsunset said:


> I'm so completely excited and nervous at the same time.
> Working with my first experienced model for a photo shoot in about a week. This is where I really cannot be shy, as the photographer I have to make myself be comfortable being louder and giving direction, and also be personable. It's a lot of pressure. I think I'm ready, but just so nervous!


You'll do great! I was in a similar situation and the end project turned out better than I could have
hoped.

Good Luck!


----------



## yeojaonna

i am so depressed right now,


----------



## trendyfool

I'm feeling glad that I've been doing so many social things lately and seeing friends, but also unsatisfied with other parts of my life. I want to be in a band. I want to be better at poetry and photography. I want to make more money. I'm a bit nervous I won't be able to make any of these things come true. Feels like I'm racing against time.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Broken and afraid.


----------



## CNikki

Nauseated.


----------



## h00dz

I'm tired...


----------



## Vip3r

Anxious, my brain is thinking ever bad thought imaginable for my upcoming job interview.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Forgotten.


----------



## momentsunset

3stacks said:


> Yeah I guess it can be good to help you prepare as long as it's not causing you too much anxiety. It's exciting stuff too and from you're photos I've seen I'm sure the photos will be good.


Thank you!



CerealKiller said:


> You'll do great! I was in a similar situation and the end project turned about better than I could have
> hoped.
> 
> Good Luck!


Oh that's so awesome to hear! :smile2: Thank you!


----------



## Baysal

Between a few weeks of happiness and my next depression, I think. Actually I think my surroundings are getting better by time even if slowly, because in my school I've always wanted to be rescued from that place of wild people, in university there people were a bit adequate than in school, but I still haven't had people to talk with. And now it's about a year as I'm working in a factory and here I for the first time maybe in my life had an experience of talking to people, discussing the things, supporting each other. Still I can't say they are my closest friends and the ones who care about me that much, but I have hope that it's going to be better and better by the time. 
But today I feel at the border of my positive thoughts, feeling lonely, especially when I saw the pictures of my school friend on Instagram he's in another city and he found good surroundings where they give a damn about him, Idk if it's jealousy or something else but I try not to forget that I have different destiny, that I am social anxious, that it's not my fault but it's my specialty, that I shouldn't depend on human beings but only on the God. But it doesn't seem easy for me.


----------



## Kevin001

Disappointed


----------



## Daxi004

anxiety, angst, pressure, sad, lonely


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

So ****ing bored and lonely.

I was watching Le Tour de France earlier and thinking how awesome it would be to see the French Alps with her. I'd go on my own but I'd feel **** even with the French Alps towering over me. :frown2:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Emotionally numb to everything and everyone.



nitecentu said:


> anxiety, angst, pressure, sad, lonely


:hug :squeeze



Pete Beale said:


> So ****ing bored and lonely.
> 
> I was watching Le Tour de France earlier and thinking how awesome it would be to see the French Alps with her. I'd go on my own but I'd feel **** even with the French Alps towering over me. :frown2:


:rub


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, lonely and a bit uncomfortable about something. And paranoid.


----------



## CNikki

A lot of mixed emotions.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Really bad.


----------



## roxslide

A lot better after running my feelings out at the gym. But yeah still a lot of bad feels. I wish I could talk about it or figure it out but everytime I try to think about it I start a downward spiral.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Emotionally numb to everything and everyone.
> 
> :hug :squeeze
> 
> :rub


Thanks mate. I'm sorry you're feeling ****. Wish I had some answers. :hug


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Terrible as usual. This time last year was a dream, now it's a nightmare. Never thought I'd feel this bad a year later. My life should have improved, I should have more good experiences and someone I actually care about, who cares about me.


----------



## Vip3r

A lot better today. This job is exactly what I have wanted. Just got to keep calm and get through the interview and training.


----------



## Zatch

Groggy. Slept too well, body is in that mode where it doesn't wanna do much.



Vip3r said:


> A lot better today. This job is exactly what I have wanted. Just got to keep calm and get through the interview and training.


I have faith in you. Best wishes!


----------



## Vip3r

Zatch said:


> I have faith in you. Best wishes!


Thank you!


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling good today,stress level is low and really hope in the future most day would be like this


----------



## mt moyt

lousy.

I can either pretend to be aloof and completely uninterested (its mostly not completely) in everyone or admit that i can't socialise in any capacity. One of the 2 to explain my not talking and never making jokes.

i dont want people to look down on me though.

i swear if i dont figure this out soon theres really no point in anything anymore


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lonely as hell.


----------



## harrison

Much better thank you. I never thought I'd miss this city and all it's madness, good to be home.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

It's her birthday today. Feel ****ing terrible. This'll be the first time in 8 years that I haven't acknowledged her birthday. It didn't need to be like this.


----------



## zeerich

dull, bored of life, questioning my existence, cold (winter here in australia), hoping I die in my sleep tonight

besides that GREAT


----------



## Crisigv

Pretty crappy


----------



## Daxi004

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Emotionally numb to everything and everyone.
> 
> :hug :squeeze


Thank you

I am feeling better, hope you are as well or soon will :squeeze


----------



## tehuti88

That feeling when the only kind of compliments you deserve are backhanded ones. -_-


----------



## naes

I can't stop sleeping for the past 2 weeks and i just feel all around horrible. I feel so ripped off by life. Why was i born to suffer?


----------



## Crisigv

Had a lot of sharp pains around my body today.


----------



## PandaBearx

Nostalgic


----------



## Kinable

Overall just down and depressed, been feeling this way for almost a week now and it probably won't go away for awhile. The cause I assume is me giving up on finding a long distance relationship because I'm just not getting anywhere. Currently just trying to reach acceptance that I won't find anyone online, at least not as quick as I'd like. My birthday is coming soon and I dread it, another year passed me by and I'm still single.


----------



## Zatch

Unsatisfied. I know I can do even better. Just have to look in the right places for advice.



Kinable said:


> My birthday is coming soon and I dread it, another year passed me by and I'm still single.


I feel you mate, it used to be pretty painful for me too. Wishing you better luck.


----------



## llodell88

bad

i will never feel good again


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I had a trip booked to Wales with my folks, but they've invited a couple friends. I ain't going to Wales with 4 pensioners. I don't even know their ****ing friends. I never wanted to go anyway. I don't want to do anything anymore because the loneliness is their always and it will just remind me of my time spent with her in The Lake district anyway. I tired of being alive. Can't deal with this loss. There's **** all to look forward to. I want to die.


----------



## Superfrank

Dissapointed


----------



## SofaKing

I'm curious how a past poster is doing...let's just say it's US and "Honey bunny"... I wonder if his sugar daddy play is working out well for them both.


----------



## 0589471

sad


----------



## funnynihilist

Buzzed


----------



## funnynihilist

Slightly buzzed


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired after a long day.



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> sad


:hug :squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad, and caused someone else to be sad. All my fault. I deserve it. I deserve all that's bad.


----------



## CNikki

Little anxious, upset, trying not to cry at some points because it's useless. I can't remember the last time I actually felt good and I really wish I can.


----------



## 0589471

tired but wired


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I can't connect with anyone, for one reason or another. There's always something wrong. I miss the good times with her so much. I felt accepted for the first time in my life with her, and now I'm back to this **** life again.


----------



## funnynihilist

Slight hangover


----------



## unemployment simulator

dreading this meal tonight, I expect if I start talking about my mental health I will get a lecture about how I am not doing anything to solve it. people seem to think it's as easy as changing a diet, or daily routine.. I can do that easy but with a compromised brain I can't seem to change the way I think. I just don't have the ability/capability, and I feel its not within my power to do anything about it;.. I feel pretty helpless and that I never get any sympathy about how mentally weak and helpless I am.
its always, you should do this, this is what I do, this is how I got better why aren't you doing this? are you lazy?
they always had a strong mind to begin with, they haven't had a mind that has been damaged beyond repair since birth, and every experience in life reinforces the negative feelings. rather the opposite, when you've had the opposite overcoming struggles is easy. when you never have a solid foundation you can't ****ing build anything!


----------



## SofaKing

Pete Beale said:


> I can't connect with anyone, for one reason or another. There's always something wrong. I miss the good times with her so much. I felt accepted for the first time in my life with her, and now I'm back to this **** life again.


A harsh, but real suggestion for you is to treat it as if she is dead. In that way, there is simply no coming back and you don't have to continue to torture yourself with any hopeful thoughts that she may change her mind.

As far as being able to live a life alone? I'm still working on that one, too. It's a daunting thought, but one I'm trying to get used to.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> A harsh, but real suggestion for you is to treat it as if she is dead. In that way, there is simply no coming back and you don't have to continue to torture yourself with any hopeful thoughts that she may change her mind.
> 
> As far as being able to live a life alone? I'm still working on that one, too. It's a daunting thought, but one I'm trying to get used to.


I've tried to tell myself she's dead, but, she isn't. I'll never be able to accept being alone either. I was alone before her and I'm alone after. Some of us aren't built to be alone and we're kidding ourselves that we can ever find peace being alone mate. I can't pretend she's dead and can't pretend I'm happy being alone. I have never been able to deal with all the loneliness I've suffered, and now after meeting her and having a great time before things went wrong, I find being lonely even worse. She was a taste of how good life can be. I don't want to go back to being lonely again, but once again, it's forced onto me. I loved spending time with her, her mum and the cat's, and loved getting away from here and being out and about so much. My time with her is the only life I've ever had, and can't deal with coming back to my long term reality again of being a hopeless loner.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

unemployment simulator said:


> dreading this meal tonight, I expect if I start talking about my mental health I will get a lecture about how I am not doing anything to solve it. people seem to think it's as easy as changing a diet, or daily routine.. I can do that easy but with a compromised brain I can't seem to change the way I think. I just don't have the ability/capability, and I feel its not within my power to do anything about it;.. I feel pretty helpless and that I never get any sympathy about how mentally weak and helpless I am.
> its always, you should do this, this is what I do, this is how I got better why aren't you doing this? are you lazy?
> they always had a strong mind to begin with, they haven't had a mind that has been damaged beyond repair since birth, and every experience in life reinforces the negative feelings. rather the opposite, when you've had the opposite overcoming struggles is easy. when you never have a solid foundation you can't ****ing build anything!


:squeeze


----------



## SofaKing

Pete Beale said:


> I've tried to tell myself she's dead, but, she isn't. I'll never be able to accept being alone either. I was alone before her and I'm alone after. Some of us aren't built to be alone and we're kidding ourselves that we can ever find peace being alone mate. I can't pretend she's dead and can't pretend I'm happy being alone. I have never been able to deal with all the loneliness I've suffered, and now after meeting her and having a great time before things went wrong, I find being lonely even worse. She was a taste of how good life can be. I don't want to go back to being lonely again, but once again, it's forced onto me. I loved spending time with her, her mum and the cat's, and loved getting away from here and being out and about so much. My time with her is the only life I've ever had, and can't deal with coming back to my long term reality again of being a hopeless loner.


Believe me...I identify. I'm not happy being alone either, but it's something I'm trying to accept as a real possibility. If I end up "on the road", it'll be difficult to form any real relationships. If I find my peaceful patch in the wilderness, that'll certainly limit my options as well.

I'm not trying to be happy, anyway...I'm trying to find peace...that's a different goal.


----------



## unemployment simulator

Pete Beale said:


> I've tried to tell myself she's dead, but, she isn't. I'll never be able to accept being alone either. I was alone before her and I'm alone after. Some of us aren't built to be alone and we're kidding ourselves that we can ever find peace being alone mate. I can't pretend she's dead and can't pretend I'm happy being alone. I have never been able to deal with all the loneliness I've suffered, and now after meeting her and having a great time before things went wrong, I find being lonely even worse. She was a taste of how good life can be. I don't want to go back to being lonely again, but once again, it's forced onto me. I loved spending time with her, her mum and the cat's, and loved getting away from here and being out and about so much. My time with her is the only life I've ever had, and can't deal with coming back to my long term reality again of being a hopeless loner.


I hope things turn around for you.
its ****ed isn't it, when you get a glimpse of what might be, it's like this is what life is all about for some and you suddenly understand why everyone is so happy and living active lives enjoying every minute of it. and then you get the dose of reality hitting you in the face that some of us may never get that. I guess you just have to keep plugging away and hoping for a miracle. I completely understand losing hope though mate. :/


----------



## Crisigv

I'm in the pit of despair.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> Believe me...I identify. I'm not happy being alone either, but it's something I'm trying to accept as a real possibility. If I end up "on the road", it'll be difficult to form any real relationships. If I find my peaceful patch in the wilderness, that'll certainly limit my options as well.
> 
> I'm not trying to be happy, anyway...I'm trying to find peace...that's a different goal.


Being at peace with being alone would be great. The constant longing and looking for happiness in someone else, when you're like us, can be a nightmare.



unemployment simulator said:


> I hope things turn around for you.
> its ****ed isn't it, when you get a glimpse of what might be, it's like this is what life is all about for some and you suddenly understand why everyone is so happy and living active lives enjoying every minute of it. and then you get the dose of reality hitting you in the face that some of us may never get that. I guess you just have to keep plugging away and hoping for a miracle. I completely understand losing hope though mate. :/


Just keep existing and hoping for a miracle. I feel powerless to do much about my situation. Just too many years of **** behind me. I was hoping she was that miracle, and thought she might be. The miracle being someone who accepted me for the way I am. Never good enough though and there's all sorts of issues, some being unique to me. My time spent with her was an unsustainable dream and now it's back to ****ing reality.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> I'm in the pit of despair.


:frown2:


----------



## Depo

I'm drowning in sorrow.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Depo said:


> I'm drowning in sorrow.


:frown2:


----------



## Vip3r

Slightly sick, I didn't realize vitamin water has so much sugar, and I ate a cookie too. :flush


----------



## CNikki

Not very good.

Taking a course that involves discussions online and whatnot and the professor said that they will comment on how we've been doing during the week. Nothing since then. We're supposed to have a midterm and final that involves quizzes and there's nothing about when they will be. Essentially, we're doing nothing. Money's worth just down the crapper it seems. I just want to know if I'm even doing the discussions correctly.

I've set myself on completing a few errands but of course other things got in the way from me doing them, and now I don't have the motivation. Finding myself being useless and life generally seeming a bit pointless anyway. I don't know if I'm depressed because of it or if I'm not doing much because of depression. It's easy to put a crutch on something you're vulnerable with and others just seeing it as you being a bit irrelevant due to them, hence don't place high expectations anyway. I'm so tired of it.

Oh, to top things off, my dog has cataracts. It's in its early stages which is why it seems like he can still see and walk normally. Dogs of his breed are more susceptible to it, apparently. If it weren't for him going to the vet's for a different reason, we wouldn't have known. I can't fathom the fact that my dog could go completely blind at a relatively young age. We're going to try what we can to not make it as severe, at least.

I hate this summer. Everything seems to happen around this time.


----------



## SofaKing

CNikki said:


> Not very good.
> 
> Taking a course that involves discussions online and whatnot and the professor said that they will comment on how we've been doing during the week. Nothing since then. We're supposed to have a midterm and final that involves quizzes and there's nothing about when they will be. Essentially, we're doing nothing. Money's worth just down the crapper it seems. I just want to know if I'm even doing the discussions correctly.
> 
> I've set myself on completing a few errands but of course other things got in the way from me doing them, and now I don't have the motivation. Finding myself being useless and life generally seeming a bit pointless anyway. I don't know if I'm depressed because of it or if I'm not doing much because of depression. It's easy to put a crutch on something you're vulnerable with and others just seeing it as you being a bit irrelevant due to them, hence don't place high expectations anyway. I'm so tired of it.
> 
> Oh, to top things off, my dog has cataracts. It's in its early stages which is why it seems like he can still see and walk normally. Dogs of his breed are more susceptible to it, apparently. If it weren't for him going to the vet's for a different reason, we wouldn't have known. I can't fathom the fact that my dog could go completely blind at a relatively young age. We're going to try what we can to not make it as severe, at least.
> 
> I hate this summer. Everything seems to happen around this time.


I'm sorry..that's a lot to take on. Our educational system is horrible in that it totally takes for granted that WE are the customers paying a ton for value. Unfortunately, they have the system rigged in that they know that WE need them more than they need us in order to be stamped "worthy" of a career.

I don't have a pet currently, but would certainly have deep feelings for wanting them to be healthy. I hope it works out for the best.


----------



## discopotato

I guess this is what rock bottom feels like.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

discopotato said:


> I guess this is what rock bottom feels like.


:frown2:

Where do you live in Europe?


----------



## Scaptain

Overwhelmed and exhausted.


----------



## Crisigv

No better, I guess this is my life now.


----------



## discopotato

Pete Beale said:


> :frown2:
> 
> Where do you live in Europe?


Sweden :b


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

discopotato said:


> Sweden :b


I was thinking about going backpacking in the French Alps but I guess it'll have to be Sweden now. Looking forward to it? We'll have a great time and get you away from your annoying old man. Looking forward to trying your dehydrated backpacking meat balls meals, I am.


----------



## discopotato

Pete Beale said:


> I was thinking about going backpacking in the French Alps but I guess it'll have to be Sweden now. Looking forward to it? We'll have a great time and get you away from your annoying old man. Looking forward to trying your dehydrated backpacking meat balls meals, I am.


Haha now might not be the best time :b 
https://www.thelocal.se/20180717/sw...n-of-modern-times-heres-what-you-need-to-know


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lonely, miserable and just wanting her to come back and give me a reason to live.


----------



## Suchness

Its weird how I feel so open but my anxiety makes me feel the opposite.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

discopotato said:


> Haha now might not be the best time :b
> https://www.thelocal.se/20180717/sw...n-of-modern-times-heres-what-you-need-to-know


French Alps it is then. Get packing! :b


----------



## SamanthaStrange

So alone.


----------



## Crisigv

Not feeling so good at the moment.


----------



## komorikun

Tired. It's a lot of work feeding my fat ***. Cooking even simple meals is very time consuming. So many dishes to wash.... Sunday is the day where I cook my work lunches. I don't want to be eating microwave meals or peanut butter and jam sandwiches every day. Not healthy and it gets expensive. Plus not many vegetarian frozen meals available. I found a few good ones at Trader Joe's but only a few.


Why the hell is my computer trying to autocorrect *** to ***hole? So annoying.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired, so very tired. Time for bed.


----------



## Cranes in the Sky

Very sleepy and very sad. Also been dissociative today.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Complete ****. Wish I had the balls to just get it over with. No point being here with all these ****ing issues.


----------



## JerryAndSports

Bored, tired.


----------



## CNikki

Infuriated. If escalated any further then I'll really go off. Not over-exaggerating.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Irritable and lonely.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I just want to go in my sleep.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Stupid


----------



## Superfrank

Exhausted


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Rather sticky, humid, and somewhat annoyed.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Pete Beale said:


> Complete ****. Wish I had the balls to just get it over with. No point being here with all these ****ing issues.





Pete Beale said:


> I just want to go in my sleep.


I'm so sorry... it is heartbreaking to read you're going through such pain


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lohikaarme said:


> I'm so sorry... it is heartbreaking to read you're going through such pain


Thanks for your concern. :squeeze

Just tired of it all now. So much is bothering me now and I'm just too old to bloody be like this. I'm filled with regret and my own personality continues to destroy me and keep me trapped. Makes no sense. I, make no sense. I'm tired of thinking, tired of not being able to see a way out, tired of torturing and damaging myself, and tired of the chronic loneliness.


----------



## CNikki

CNikki said:


> Infuriated. If escalated any further then I'll really go off. Not over-exaggerating.


Think the idea is given at this point. Today was absolutely horrendous.


----------



## silentstruggle

alone


----------



## SofaKing

CNikki said:


> Think the idea is given at this point. Today was absolutely horrendous.


I'm sorry. It's unsettling how often I have a breaking - point day.


----------



## Zatch

Very cuddly. Youtube decided to play light piano melodies while I was napping, so it was basically channeling into my dreams.

How quaint.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Kinda down.


----------



## Flora20

Tired, depressed and lonely, what's new..


----------



## CNikki

SofaKing said:


> I'm sorry. It's unsettling how often I have a breaking - point day.


It has been happening more so lately and I've noticed the pattern. The circumstances tend to exacerbate the issues at hand and I wish it wasn't so. Just declining due to it. I'm surprised that I'm not dead just yet.


----------



## SofaKing

We all surprise ourselves with strength we didn't know we had. Keep it up.


CNikki said:


> It has been happening more so lately and I've noticed the pattern. The circumstances tend to exacerbate the issues at hand and I wish it wasn't so. Just declining due to it. I'm surprised that I'm not dead just yet.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Lonely. I think I'll be forever alone.


----------



## Cranes in the Sky

Feeling much better compared to last night. Visited my brother and his baby. Able to bond with my niece and my brother and I played Mario Party 7 with his GameCube simulator. Nice to be able to push negative thoughts out of my mind for a while and focus on things and people that bring me happiness, even if it is short lived.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****e as usual.


----------



## birddookie

@*silentstruggle* Best wishes on you escaping the loneliness and finding a friend. :squeeze

@*Zatch* That's awesome man, which songs was it playing?

@*Flora20* :squeezeSorry you're feeling this way. I hope you have a good day and find some new friends.

@*PurplePeopleEater* I hope you find a great guy in the near future, you're putting in the effort, it will pay off.:squeeze

@*Cranes in the Sky* :smile2: That's good to hear, you had a great time, and bonded with your family.

@*Pete Beale* Have no idea what cussword that is, but home you feel better!:hug


----------



## Notjustquiet

Helpless.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

birddookie said:


> @*silentstruggle* Best wishes on you escaping the loneliness and finding a friend. :squeeze
> 
> @*Zatch* That's awesome man, which songs was it playing?
> 
> @*Flora20* :squeezeSorry you're feeling this way. I hope you have a good day and find some new friends.
> 
> @*PurplePeopleEater* I hope you find a great guy in the near future, you're putting in the effort, it will pay off.:squeeze
> 
> @*Cranes in the Sky* :smile2: That's good to hear, you had a great time, and bonded with your family.
> 
> @*Pete Beale* Have no idea what cussword that is, but home you feel better!:hug


Lol it's s*** with an e

Thanks, but I won't feel better any time soon :frown2:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Notjustquiet said:


> Helpless.


Me too. :frown2:


----------



## birddookie

Pete Beale said:


> Lol it's **** with an e
> 
> Thanks, but I won't feel better any time soon :frown2:


Gotcha thanks, please edit it now, supposedly that's against forum rules. 

Have you been exercising lately?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

birddookie said:


> Gotcha thanks, please edit it now, supposedly that's against forum rules.
> 
> Have you been exercising lately?


No exercising for me. Exercise doesn't help me feel better tbh, no matter how hard I do it. I need to though for physical health reasons. It's hard when I'm so bloody depressed.


----------



## Callum96

----------


----------



## Kinable

Angry. Some customer at work today took my picture while I was preparing her jackpot and I got to see what she captioned it with on her phone and it was something along the lines of her beating the casino or something and I found it extremely rude. She attempted to take a picture and I noticed the first time and stepped back away from the machine but when I had to get close to send her jackpot in she pretended to take a selfie and took a picture of me instead. Luckily I looked away and turned my back to her just in time so my face wasn't in the picture but still. I swear some people have no respect towards employees and other people in general. I don't want to be used as part of a joke to post on your social media you stupid b****. God I swear I hate this ******* job and these selfish, entitled, ignorant customers who only think of themselves and treat employees like we're not even people. I don't take crap from customers anymore and if I had noticed her selfie was actually being aimed at me I would have stepped away from the machine again and told her I wouldn't pay her jackpot until she stopped. Unfortunately I noticed too late and she already took the picture, it's not like she was gonna delete it and being rude enough to take a picture of me without my permission she wouldn't have cared what I think anyways.


----------



## Cranes in the Sky

Kinable said:


> Angry. Some customer at work today took my picture while I was preparing her jackpot and I got to see what she captioned it with on her phone and it was something along the lines of her beating the casino or something and I found it extremely rude. She attempted to take a picture and I noticed the first time and stepped back away from the machine but when I had to get close to send her jackpot in she pretended to take a selfie and took a picture of me instead. Luckily I looked away and turned my back to her just in time so my face wasn't in the picture but still. I swear some people have no respect towards employees and other people in general. I don't want to be used as part of a joke to post on your social media you stupid b****. God I swear I hate this ******* job and these selfish, entitled, ignorant customers who only think of themselves and treat employees like we're not even people. I don't take crap from customers anymore and if I had noticed her selfie was actually being aimed at me I would have stepped away from the machine again and told her I wouldn't pay her jackpot until she stopped. Unfortunately I noticed too late and she already took the picture, it's not like she was gonna delete it and being rude enough to take a picture of me without my permission she wouldn't have cared what I think anyways.


Sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately some people will do anything to brag or get attention through SM. I hope the rest of your day will be better and you can at least relax for a bit.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Down.


----------



## Kinable

Cranes in the Sky said:


> Sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately some people will do anything to brag or get attention through SM. I hope the rest of your day will be better and you can at least relax for a bit.


I'm still a little mad about it, mostly because it gave me a headache and I still have it. Just the fact that I was used as a joke for some SM points makes me mad. I would never do something like that to someone, basically turning me into a meme. I would be more mad if she had gotten my face so at least there's that. She is definitely one of those people who brag about their lives and now I'm gonna be more aware of people and their phones, having my picture taken without my permission is a major pet peeve of mine.


----------



## SofaKing

Pretty dismal, actually. Similar to others here...I can be alone, but I hate the thought that it may always be like that. What do I really make of the time I have left if it's just me I have to extract life's potential joys from?


----------



## thomasjune

I feel great. My mom is moving from another state (six hundred miles away) to live with my sister and I live right down the road so I'll get to spend time with her every day.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## naes

Like complete sh1t. Been sleeping (if you can even call it that) non-stop, and when i'm awake i have absolutely no energy. I'm alone, always have been, nothing going for me, my life is a mess, i hate this bs.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely.


----------



## 0589471

twytarn said:


> Lonely.


:squeeze


----------



## CNikki

Trapped.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Pretty dismal, actually. Similar to others here...I can be alone, but I hate the thought that it may always be like that. What do I really make of the time I have left if it's just me I have to extract life's potential joys from?


Find a new hobby to keep your mind at ease?

Just trying to help, but I get how hard it is feeling alone sometimes.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Trapped.


:hug :squeeze



twytarn said:


> Lonely.


:hug :squeeze



The Condition of Keegan said:


> Down.


:rub


----------



## Crisigv

Pretty down. And my legs are restless, so there goes my sleep.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

@iAmCodeMonkey. Thank you.


----------



## MorganMelancholy

*Feeling inadequate*

I feel like everything i do just lets everyone else down, i can never be as good as my peers. I'm scared to talk to people because i'll just waste their time. I hate group assignments because i just disappoint everyone and drag everyone down with me. I'm lazy and stupid and worthless.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

MorganMelancholy said:


> I feel like everything i do just lets everyone else down, i can never be as good as my peers. I'm scared to talk to people because i'll just waste their time. I hate group assignments because i just disappoint everyone and drag everyone down with me. I'm lazy and stupid and worthless.


:hug :squeeze



Crisigv said:


> Pretty down. And my legs are restless, so there goes my sleep.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## Cranes in the Sky

Kinable said:


> Cranes in the Sky said:
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately some people will do anything to brag or get attention through SM. I hope the rest of your day will be better and you can at least relax for a bit.
> 
> 
> 
> I'm still a little mad about it, mostly because it gave me a headache and I still have it. Just the fact that I was used as a joke for some SM points makes me mad. I would never do something like that to someone, basically turning me into a meme. I would be more mad if she had gotten my face so at least there's that. She is definitely one of those people who brag about their lives and now I'm gonna be more aware of people and their phones, having my picture taken without my permission is a major pet peeve of mine.
Click to expand...

I understand it's an invasion of privacy. I don't get how some people can take pictures or video of others, even family or friends, without them knowing or their consent and post it to literally the world and don't realize how wrong it is. Especially when they do it, it's usually to laugh at the other person.

Well with that being said, hope your headache goes away and you have a good nights rest!


----------



## Cranes in the Sky

Like my avatar, but with the words I cropped out, 
“when carbs are your only solace in this cruel world”.


----------



## Kinable

Cranes in the Sky said:


> I understand it's an invasion of privacy. I don't get how some people can take pictures or video of others, even family or friends, without them knowing or their consent and post it to literally the world and don't realize how wrong it is. Especially when they do it, it's usually to laugh at the other person.
> 
> Well with that being said, hope your headache goes away and you have a good nights rest!


Yeah even when my family takes pictures of me or records me I get a little upset only because I know it's going straight to the internet. Thanks for your concern and kind words by the way


----------



## Suchness

Got a bad reaction to Panadol, wtf now I'm sensitive to this as well. I took half of one yesterday and felt the same way. At least I know what it is now.


----------



## Jaques118

Frustrated and lonely. I miss someone desperately but I can't get them back because it was my own fault. I've been so careless.


----------



## CNikki

SofaKing said:


> Pretty dismal, actually. Similar to others here...I can be alone, but I hate the thought that it may always be like that. What do I really make of the time I have left if it's just me I have to extract life's potential joys from?


Yup, that's me too. They say it's better to be alone than to be in bad company. It can be true, but finding good company is increasingly harder to come by.


----------



## tea111red

Back to considering suicide again.


----------



## momentsunset

Fabulous


----------



## SofaKing

Yeah. Why does it have to be so hard?


CNikki said:


> Yup, that's me too. They say it's better to be alone than to be in bad company. It can be true, but finding good company is increasingly harder to come by.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> Back to considering suicide again.


I noticed you weren't around and was worried because you seemed to be suffering a lot. I'm sorry you're still feeling so bad. I wish I could do something about everyones pain here! :frown2:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I can't stop avoiding everything. Think it's been over 3 weeks since I had that pointless therapy session and I haven't stepped outside since. Glorious weather but I'm missing out because I have no one to do anything with.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tea111red said:


> Back to considering suicide again.


Please don't.


----------



## Vip3r

Bored and procrastinating things I need to do.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

tea111red said:


> Back to considering suicide again.


I do this nearly daily now. Either I'm just thinking about it, or I'll see something that upsets me and go back to contemplating suicide again.


----------



## harrison

Calm, for now. Thank God.


----------



## SofaKing

I'm at my limit...the possibility of a total workplace meltdown is extremely high.


----------



## harrison

SofaKing said:


> I'm at my limit...the possibility of a total workplace meltdown is extremely high.


If I was in your situation I'd never work another day in my life. (of course it's very possible that I may not anyway, but that's beside the point)

I would have moved to Thailand a long time ago - you could live like a king there. (but not a sofaking)


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Lonely and unloved by anyone other than my mother...

I am starting to slip into bad coping mechanisms again.

Like scratching my arms up in order to try and feel something.



SofaKing said:


> I'm at my limit...the possibility of a total workplace meltdown is extremely high.


Oh man, I hope you can overcome anything that is making you feel this way.  :rub



harrison said:


> Calm, for now. Thank God.


 Hope you can keep feeling that way.  :rub


----------



## girlyone1

I feel like crap but I'm trying to override it with an ok feeling.


----------



## CNikki

Somewhat relieved. Still not completely over the depressive episode that I think is enhanced from the situation(s) I'm dealing with at hand. Partially why I haven't been as active since it's too much of a hassle to even engage in conversations.


----------



## EarthDominator

All the stress at home has caused me to have frequent migraines, at least twice a week which can last up to two days. And the temperature of 36°C is not helping.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm really sad. Really anxious. Really out of place.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed. Annoyed.


----------



## JerryAndSports

Tired and bored combination


----------



## SofaKing

harrison said:


> If I was in your situation I'd never work another day in my life. (of course it's very possible that I may not anyway, but that's beside the point)
> 
> I would have moved to Thailand a long time ago - you could live like a king there. (but not a sofaking)


I wish I could overcome my analysis-paralysis and just jump into something... it would help a lot.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Lonely and unloved by anyone other than my mother...
> 
> I am starting to slip into bad coping mechanisms again.
> 
> Like scratching my arms up in order to try and feel something.
> 
> Oh man, I hope you can overcome anything that is making you feel this way.  :rub
> 
> Hope you can keep feeling that way.  :rub


Thanks...and I hope that you feel better about your situation as well. Coping mechanisms are really a challenge. I'd love it if mine were getting heavily into exercise instead of drinking or eating poorly. Thankfully, I haven't busted up my diet, though it's always on the verge.


----------



## harrison

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Lonely and unloved by anyone other than my mother...
> 
> I am starting to slip into bad coping mechanisms again.
> 
> Like scratching my arms up in order to try and feel something.
> 
> Oh man, I hope you can overcome anything that is making you feel this way.  :rub
> 
> Hope you can keep feeling that way.  :rub


Thanks mate, nice of you to say that.

(and just putting my Dad hat on here - please don't hurt those arms of yours. Hope you can find another way to make yourself feel better)


----------



## harrison

SofaKing said:


> I wish I could overcome my analysis-paralysis and just jump into something... it would help a lot.


Yeah, I can see how over-thinking these things would be a problem. My problem has tended to often be the opposite - to just dive straight in and deal with the consequences later. (not always a very good idea)

Would be good to strike a balance somewhere in the middle.


----------



## discopotato

Annoyed.


----------



## Vip3r

discopotato said:


> Annoyed.


:rub


----------



## discopotato

Vip3r said:


> :rub


haha thanks  :squeeze


----------



## Depo

Unwanted, empty, miserable, worthless...


----------



## tehuti88

Jealous, and ashamed because I'm too worthless to feel jealous yet I do. :crying:


----------



## Scaptain

Irritated.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Overwhelmed


----------



## scooby

Tired. Taking a nap, need one.


----------



## Flora20

I feel like my life is so empty in every possible way...


----------



## 0589471

not worthless :squeeze


tehuti88 said:


> Jealous, and ashamed because I'm too worthless to feel jealous yet I do. :crying:


----------



## Vip3r

I wish I could fast forward my life to the good parts (if there are any).


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Flora20 said:


> I feel like my life is so empty in every possible way...


Yes. I don't know what to do about it. I don't even want to be here anymore. Lost interest in absolutely everything and I'm tormented by what I can't have and regrets.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Completely trapped. There's no peace, no joy. I just want to die in my sleep. I'll get booze and heroin and ****ing kill myself one day. People will have to suffer but for me it will be over. I can't take this **** anymore. I want help but there is no help. No one will ever give a **** about me. I'm too old and broken and there's no ****ing hope. I can't stand this ****. Lifes ****ing **** and people have just caused me pain and I never deserved it. Never deserved any of this ****.


----------



## Suchness

Hopeful.


----------



## Crisigv

Still feel like crap from this morning.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hurting physically and emotionally. Hopeless.


----------



## girlyone1

Ok


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Feeling really weird the last few days. Halfway confused and feel like everything is spinning. I don't know. Sometimes I get this weird feeling for no apparent reason and it goes away after a few days but it's really bad this time.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

WillYouStopDave said:


> Feeling really weird the last few days. Halfway confused and feel like everything is spinning. I don't know. Sometimes I get this weird feeling for no apparent reason and it goes away after a few days but it's really bad this time.


Sounds like vertigo. I hate that feeling.


----------



## 0589471

Crappy. in my family, depression and anxiety aren't real if it has to do with me. Everything I feel or experience just isn't real, apparently.


----------



## Scaptain

Bored as usual.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Very nervous.


----------



## Fever Dream

Lazy. Responsibility seems like it's my other full time job right now, but I called in sick today.


----------



## SofaKing

WillYouStopDave said:


> Feeling really weird the last few days. Halfway confused and feel like everything is spinning. I don't know. Sometimes I get this weird feeling for no apparent reason and it goes away after a few days but it's really bad this time.


I can get this when my allergies are really bad.


----------



## CNikki

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Crappy. in my family, depression and anxiety aren't real if it has to do with me. Everything I feel or experience just isn't real, apparently.


Similar here. Or that you can 'change it'. Shoot, if I could, why would I want to be where I'm at in the first place? It's also believed that I may have some PTSD as well, but of course, when sharing as to why, I'm told that 'I need to overcome it.'


----------



## 0589471

omg exactly. I get to hear "not my problem" when I wasn't even making it theirs and I don't expect anything from them anyway. Also "well maybe you should do something about it" like i can just will it away if i try hard enough.

I just got to experience my mom and sister bashing me in the store. They always complain and ask why i never go with them places and that's exactly why I don't go out with them anywhere. Because it's fun to them to bring me down because it's easy to do & makes them feel better about their crappy situations.

Plus my mom loves to bring up all the negatives and complain that I don't have any kids (like I'm spitefully withholding grandchildren from her) even though it's a painful reminder to me. We were shopping for my cousin's baby which I should know is always going to end up there.



CNikki said:


> Similar here. Or that you can 'change it'. Shoot, if I could, why would I want to be where I'm at in the first place? It's also believed that I may have some PTSD as well, but of course, when sharing as to why, I'm told that 'I need to overcome it.'


----------



## Zatch

Disillusioned. I just wish it hadn't taken so long.


----------



## rockyraccoon

CNikki said:


> Similar here. Or that you can 'change it'. Shoot, if I could, why would I want to be where I'm at in the first place? *It's also believed that I may have some PTSD as well, but of course, when sharing as to why, I'm told that 'I need to overcome it.*'





A Toxic Butterfly said:


> omg exactly. I get to hear "not my problem" when I wasn't even making it theirs and I don't expect anything from them anyway. Also "well maybe you should do something about it" like i can just will it away if i try hard enough.
> 
> I just got to experience my mom and sister bashing me in the store. They always complain and ask why i never go with them places and that's exactly why I don't go out with them anywhere. _*Because it's fun to them to bring me down because it's easy to do & makes them feel better about their crappy situations*_.
> 
> Plus my mom loves to bring up all the negatives and complain that I don't have any kids (like I'm spitefully withholding grandchildren from her) even though it's a painful reminder to me. We were shopping for my cousin's baby which I should know is always going to end up there.


I can't imagine that family members would do that to you two. Not having the support of your family because you are mentally ill is truly tragic. It turns out that some of my brothers and sisters have gone though depression and anxiety but they only opened up because they knew about my struggles.


----------



## CNikki

rockyraccoon said:


> I can't imagine that family members would do that to you two. Not having the support of your family because you are mentally ill is truly tragic. It turns out that some of my brothers and sisters have gone though depression and anxiety but they only opened up because they knew about my struggles.


I'll just put it this way - it's a mix between being 'old school' and think that mental illnesses are terms to serve big pharma (arguments aside from all of this), and the fact that mental illness wreaks havoc to the point it's our normal. What else can I say about that?


----------



## 3stacks

Depressed, jealous, angry, lonely and unwanted.


----------



## tea111red

I saw some people replied to my post in this thread a few days ago....sorry for not replying back to everyone that did. I've been feeling really dejected and I'm having even more trouble expressing a lot my thoughts to other people lately.


----------



## Kevin001

tea111red said:


> I saw some people replied to my post in this thread a few days ago....sorry for not replying back to everyone that did. I've been feeling really dejected and I'm having even more trouble expressing a lot my thoughts to other people lately.


:squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Lots of things, some good, some very bad.


----------



## 0589471

dejected


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> dejected


:hug :squeeze


----------



## 0589471

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


thanks monkey ♡ :hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> thanks monkey ♡ :hug :squeeze


:kiss:>


----------



## Iwannabenormal

Very sad, hopeless, sleep deprived and I feel aching pain in right side of my head. I'm fed up with life and thinking about killing myself.


----------



## Avalyn




----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Terrible. I have to get on top of this before I get a pointless harassment charge. I need to forget about her and find some way to find peace. Just can't keep feeling this crazy and ill.


----------



## Ladybird1187

_Drained._


----------



## Ladybird1187

Iwannabenormal said:


> Very sad, hopeless, sleep deprived and I feel aching pain in right side of my head. I'm fed up with life and thinking about killing myself.


:hug


----------



## CNikki

Avalyn said:


>


Keyword: Moment.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Old, lost and lonely.


----------



## SofaKing

I'm starting to wonder if some horrific health condition is lurking. Probably by the time I decide to retire to "enjoy" life will be the time it rears it's head and then I'll be faced with the decision to fight it or not.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> I'm starting to wonder if some horrific health condition is lurking. Probably by the time I decide to retire to "enjoy" life will be the time it rears it's head and then I'll be faced with the decision to fight it or not.


I worry that I could have a stroke or heart attack anytime now, and will be left in an even worse state than I'm already in. I think if I had cancer I wouldn't be strong enough to fight it. I keep saying how depressed I am here and how I'm worried about becoming suicidal, and that I don't care if I die suddenly etc in my sleep, but deep down, I want to ****ing live a bit before I get ill or drop bloody dead. I was living, but now that life has gone, I'm worried that I'm seriously running out of time and that was the only shot I had at having someone to live a life with. Times running out!


----------



## SofaKing

Pete Beale said:


> I worry that I could have a stroke or heart attack anytime now, and will be left in an even worse state than I'm already in. I think if I had cancer I wouldn't be strong enough to fight it. I keep saying how depressed I am here and how I'm worried about becoming suicidal, and that I don't care if I die suddenly etc in my sleep, but deep down, I want to ****ing live a bit before I get ill or drop bloody dead. I was living, but now that life has gone, I'm worried that I'm seriously running out of time and that was the only shot I had at having someone to live a life with. Times running out!


Then I guess there's the incentive to start living now, huh?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> Then I guess there's the incentive to start living now, huh?


Way easier said than done for me unfortunately. My AVPD and depression are a nightmare now. I really don't need these thing's to be hitting me so hard at this age. I thought the day's of being like this were behind me but I feel like I've gone back two ****ing decades with this ****. It was bad enough back than, but now I feel like it will make me physically ill at some point because of my age.


----------



## BlushingHearts

I feel hidden. I was in the car with my mother yesterday and somehow we got to talking about my medicine that I take for my anxiety. Note that I've been taking this medicine sine I was 6 years old. I mentioned to her about how I had found out from a commercial or something that my medicine also doubles as an antidepressant. She told me she had read that awhile back too but she said that she didn't think I was depressed or anything though, right? She said it like it would have been the biggest shock in the world if I had said yes. So I just nodded with a fake smile as usual and told her she was right. Again with the lies. Again with the hiding all true emotions and pain. Half of me wants her to know and half of me is scared of her finding out. But honestly I just hurt so much, all the time. I feel so much that I just want to feel nothing.


----------



## Daxi004

I'm so full


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Incredibly bored and lonely. I wish I had a passion for something and was introverted.


----------



## funnynihilist

12 hours straight in the car on three hours sleep so tiiiiiird


----------



## 0589471

funnynihilist said:


> 12 hours straight in the car on three hours sleep so tiiiiiird


I imagine a giant sleepy bear behind the wheel


----------



## llodell88

weird and tired and upset i cant go out and spend money freely and im so poor. i dont like these places that called me and texted me about jobs i applied at and i have no confidence to go out and try and they probably wont hire me anyway. people around here in this hotel are being too friendly and it's making me uncomfortable. someone asked me if i wanted some of his food he was cooking tonight while i was going out to meet my mom and i was i was like uhhh...what? i was confused, and didnt know exactly what he was asking, then guy at the desk was trying to be friendly and called me over to talk to him. feel so socially awkward all the time.

and im tired af i couldn't sleep last night again.

I hope I am just feeling like this mostly because I am tired because I don't think I can handle a job where I'm like this, definitely would have been best off sticking with self employment work alone, i can tell, need to think of some jobs that dont require interaction.


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> Way easier said than done for me unfortunately. My AVPD and depression are a nightmare now. I really don't need these thing's to be hitting me so hard at this age. I thought the day's of being like this were behind me but I feel like I've gone back two ****ing decades with this ****. It was bad enough back than, but now I feel like it will make me physically ill at some point because of my age.


I really think you should try medication. I can't remember whether you've tried much before or what effect it had on you. There are quite a few options nowadays - and you might be lucky and find one that just lifts all this mood problem. Even if it was just for a while - to get you moving again.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

A little worried.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad and lonely.


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy


----------



## caelle

Hormonal


----------



## ShenzhenAlex

Tell her. She probably knows. A lot of moms don't know how to talk to their teenage kids and a lot of teenage kids don't know how to talk to their moms. Your mom sounding surprised was probably her over-compensating because she didn't know how to have the heart-to-heart with you about it. She's probably also thinking "Again with the lies!" :lol For your own sake, you should tell her so you can get the help you need. Your thoughts sound borderline-suicidal so the sooner you get help the better.



BlushingHearts said:


> I feel hidden. I was in the car with my mother yesterday and somehow we got to talking about my medicine that I take for my anxiety. Note that I've been taking this medicine sine I was 6 years old. I mentioned to her about how I had found out from a commercial or something that my medicine also doubles as an antidepressant. She told me she had read that awhile back too but she said that she didn't think I was depressed or anything though, right? She said it like it would have been the biggest shock in the world if I had said yes. So I just nodded with a fake smile as usual and told her she was right. Again with the lies. Again with the hiding all true emotions and pain. Half of me wants her to know and half of me is scared of her finding out. But honestly I just hurt so much, all the time. I feel so much that I just want to feel nothing.


----------



## Zatch

Puzzled. I just want to know what's going through her head but she rarely talks to anyone.

So I will have to wait until next time. This is getting dumb.


----------



## harrison

I'm tired. I don't know if it's just me getting old or the medication, or both. But I do know I don't like this responsibility of having to travel up to my wife's house each weekday to look after this little dog. Some days I'm just not up to it and I need a rest.


----------



## EarthDominator

I don't think anyone really cares. :frown2:


----------



## 0589471

incredibly painfully unloved.


----------



## anonymoususer2

indifferent, I'm pretty drunk.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

harrison said:


> I really think you should try medication. I can't remember whether you've tried much before or what effect it had on you. There are quite a few options nowadays - and you might be lucky and find one that just lifts all this mood problem. Even if it was just for a while - to get you moving again.


I've tried 3 different meds before. Anhedonia, which is really bad right now, and sexual anhedonia were horrible on them. I will have to experiment at some point if I keep feeling this bad, because I can't go on like this.


----------



## Crisigv

pretty horrible


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> pretty horrible


:frown2:

We're all like broken records on here. Wish we could all find some bloody peace! :frown2:


----------



## Depo

Soulless. I upped my benzo dose and I feel as if I were no longer human.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****e

Can't believe how **** everything is compared to this time last year.

Dreading waking up in the morning, compared to jumping out of bed, full of beans, to enjoy a good day out with me homewench. 

****ing bollox, the lot of it!


----------



## SofaKing

Like any person with SA after a business cocktail party would feel.


----------



## komorikun

Hot. Ugh. This apartment stays cool up until 85F. Unfortunately today through Tuesday is hotter than that. I looked at the extended weather forecast and it says from Wednesday it won't go above 81F for the rest of the month, which will likely be the rest of the year. Cross my fingers. 

And I'm irritated. Last week the landlord sent an email saying that they are checking the fire alarm system 9am-10am. That's exactly the time I get ready for work. Now I get an email saying that they have to come in and look at the sprinkler head that is next to my front door. Great. 

All that a-hole cares about is fire and water damage to the building. His investment. Doesn't care about anything else. Never updates anything unless it out and out breaks. Fridge and stove are from 1985. Carpet is ancient and the floor is bumpy. Kitchen cabinets and drawers smell like an old church. Windows are made out of metal so they sweat like crazy over half the year. Puddles develop in the window sills. Heaters are ancient and barely run. I'm sure he thinks of himself as a good guy since the rents are a bit cheap for this area. 10 to 1 he is giving a big discount to the Rastafarian and his never seen girlfriend. So he probably thinks he's nice for being kind to black people. Stingy slumlord engineer.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> incredibly painfully unloved.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## Suchness

My depression like feeling have greatly reduced and the pain from stress isnt as strong. At one point yesterday my anxiety was almost gone. More and more it feels like its all really possible.


----------



## 3stacks

Suchness said:


> My depression like feeling have greatly reduced and the pain from stress isnt as strong. At one point yesterday my anxiety was almost gone. More and more it feels like its all really possible.


 That's good to hear, I think it's possible.


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> I've tried 3 different meds before. Anhedonia, which is really bad right now, and sexual anhedonia were horrible on them. I will have to experiment at some point if I keep feeling this bad, because I can't go on like this.


Were the 3 meds all antidepressants?

I tried a lot of them back in the hospital ages ago after I finally got off the benzos. After a while Lexapro worked, but it did have the usual side-effects. They helped for a while though and for me at that time they were good because they kept me away from the Xanax.

I did find something strange with the SSRI's though - I distinctly remember a slightly different effect during a couple of different times I took them, and different withdrawals too. Plus they obviously affect people very differently.


----------



## Omni-slash

Heartbroken.


----------



## 0589471

Siegfried said:


> Heartbroken.


:squeeze I'm really sorry, hang in there friend!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> incredibly painfully unloved.


This.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

twytarn said:


> This.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## discopotato

pathetic


----------



## copper

Woke up with a terrible sinus headache, very tired, and congested. Suppose to be at work by 8 am but it isn't happening today.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored ****less.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Abandoned


----------



## harrison

I woke up feeling lonely and scared - so I took half a Valium. Can feel it already - making me a bit sleepy. I'm not sure which is worse.


----------



## riverbird

Like a burden.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

discopotato said:


> pathetic


 :hug :squeeze



riverbird said:


> Like a burden.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## 3stacks

Emotionless, empty and getting constant suicidal thoughts which is just great


----------



## Zatch

Relieved. Had a date today but I think they cancelled. Wasn't sure how to do it myself.



Siegfried said:


> Heartbroken.


What happened?


----------



## zonebox

I've been out most of the day, we went to get my kid some glasses, then strolled through a dying mall, checking out a few stores. It is really weird, we noticed the food court had a few restaurants that had been there for years were gone. Apparently they are converting a part of that mall into apartments, that is actually pretty kick ***, to think, you would be living in a mall. With the bigger stores closing shop, I guess it makes sense, the owner of the mall will have that extra income flowing in, and the stores will have a steady supply of customers. I just did not think they could mix residential and business areas together because of legalities, but heck, this is Florida, we do a lot of things differently down here. If I were renting though, I would probably get a place there just because of how quirky it is.

We then went to Books A Million, I purchased a fantasy novel "The Eye of the World" by Robert Jordan, I skimmed a few pages and it looked pretty good. It will be good reading material while I'm in the hospital for my mother in law, and it has been a few months since I have read a novel. So, I'm looking forward to that.

I've been talking to my wife, and telling her I really need to see a psychiatrist. The constant anxiety just is not healthy, I need to get on Paxil to take the bite out of it. I miss just being carefree like I was in my twenties, and again in my thirties when I was on Paxil. I used to buy it online, and it helped me tremendously when I was working at a call center doing tech support. So, I'm hopeful I can get something. I don't think the anxiety is as severe as what most people here experience, but it is almost a constant feeling and while I can live with it, there really is no need to if there is a way to alleviate it.

But in spite of the current environment I find myself in, it is not beyond my capacity to carry on. I still have the ability to laugh at a lot of the strangeness in our world, I can still have an appreciation of it as well, I can't say things are at their worst. So, I guess I'm doing pretty good, for you know, "me". I look forward to getting involved with this book.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Okay.


----------



## Crisigv

A bit lonely.


----------



## alienbird

Zatch said:


> Relieved. Had a date today but I think they cancelled. Wasn't sure how to do it myself.


Why would you be relieved?


----------



## CNikki

Hesitant and contemplative. I've had an opportunity to be a step ahead towards what I'm wanting in life, and I may have blew (or blown, whatever) that as well. I don't know.


----------



## harrison

Not too bad. It's a nice afternoon, not too cold and the sun's out. Plus my wife is finally starting to enquire about doggy daycare. So I can actually get some work done again.


----------



## SofaKing

Like caca...or is it ka-ka'?


----------



## discopotato

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


:squeeze


----------



## Suchness

SofaKing said:


> Like caca...or is it ka-ka'?


Kaka means poo in Bosnian.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lifes garbage if you're not pretty, rich, or a real smart cookie. Life is about luck mostly, and I'm **** out of it.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Okay.


----------



## CNikki

Pretty pissed.


----------



## SofaKing

Nauseous for some unknown reason and willing myself not to puke. Joy.


----------



## Crisigv

Down and inferior to the rest of the world.


----------



## SofaKing

Crisigv said:


> Down and inferior to the rest of the world.


I'm sorry...I know it's not the case, but I know it's easy to feel this way. Feel better.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Kinda down.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

My mother wanted to have me sectioned today. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.


----------



## fluorish

I need to break out of the conditioning of isolation and only talking to my family and bf. Feel a little lost... or maybe alot


----------



## fluorish

Pete Beale said:


> My mother wanted to have me sectioned today. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.


What is that?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

fluorish said:


> What is that?


Being put in mental hospital.

She's worried that I'm going to top myself at some point because I'm so depressed. I haven't been this depressed in years and I'm too old to feel like this. I feel a bit better now because I've exhausted myself, but I'll be like it again in the morning. Been like this for 9 months.

I've never been sectioned before.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@BeardedMessiahBob The girl from the gym, or some other Bob lover? Lol.


----------



## SplendidBob

twytarn said:


> @BeardedMessiahBob The girl from the gym, or some other Bob lover? Lol.


Deleted that post, too weird, but yeh gym.

I know what it is, I think.


----------



## fluorish

Pete Beale said:


> I've never been sectioned before.


How's old are you? I don't see anything wrong with going in there for a while if it's going to help you...


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable, I just want to die.


----------



## girlyone1

Chill.......surprisingly.


----------



## CNikki

Pete Beale said:


> Being put in mental hospital.
> 
> She's worried that I'm going to top myself at some point because I'm so depressed. I haven't been this depressed in years and I'm too old to feel like this. I feel a bit better now because I've exhausted myself, but I'll be like it again in the morning. Been like this for 9 months.
> 
> I've never been sectioned before.


It would be better if you give consent to going rather than being forced by another person. If you agree to it and go then it'll be voluntary. Depending on the severity and how well you respond to treatment they can keep you there for up to a week or two. If it's that bad and you're literally unable to do basic everyday living then I would suggest for you to go. People of any age bracket could be in this type of situation.


----------



## birddookie

@Pete Beale sorry to hear that, do you have to be evaluated first before they can put you in the hospital?:squeeze

@cnikki Best wishes on whatever is making you pissed goes away.:squeeze

@SofaKing Hope you feel better!:hug

@The Condition of Keegan :hug Hope tomorrow is an up day for you.

@crisigv :squeeze No one is superior to you, we are all equal as people.


----------



## Suchness

Like I'm going to make it.


----------



## llodell88

tired, i want some pizza


----------



## AffinityWing

Dirty

I wish I had money to afford fixing all the things wrong with my appearance, like laser surgery for finally getting rid of my acne scars I hate so ****ing much (especially the PIE all over my chest and back), laser hair removal for the body hair that I get so much and that grows faster than I can manage to remove (Since waxing gets too unaffordable to do every time, epilating feels like getting my skin ripped off, and shaving is something I quit long ago due to how irritated my skin would get from it.), and hair products for fixing my hair that seems to get oily and dirty in a span of less than two days now. 

It makes me feel like I have to walk around looking like a cave troll or meth addict and I know much of my self-esteem is based around my appearance, so I end up getting more depressed from it. There are some thing I admit I can still do merely if I had stronger willpower and motivation, like brushing my teeth more often, but even that is a struggle with my state of mind.


----------



## Suchness

I feel like there's very little doubt that anything can stop me from achieving my goals


----------



## 3stacks

AffinityWing said:


> Dirty
> 
> I wish I had money to afford fixing all the things wrong with my appearance, like laser surgery for finally getting rid of my acne scars I hate so ****ing much (especially the PIE all over my chest and back


 Same, I have acne scars all over both sides of my face. It's like ugh they make me feel disgusting and make my already bad face worse lol. I wish I could get them done too, they say dermarolling can help but I'm not sure. I got the PIE on my face too apparently they eventually fade but I feel like I've had mine for years with no improvement.


----------



## EarthDominator

I got a serious migraine, which is lasting from yesterday evening till now and doens't go away. Seems like it's worsening as well.


----------



## AffinityWing

3stacks said:


> Same, I have acne scars all over both sides of my face. It's like ugh they make me feel disgusting and make my already bad face worse lol. I wish I could get them done too, they say dermarolling can help but I'm not sure. I got the PIE on my face too apparently they eventually fade but I feel like I've had mine for years with no improvement.


Is that you in your avatar? Because your face looks pretty good in it, if that's the case. 

I was working on fixing mine before last summer, but then I ended up getting a sunburn again and they just came back worse. Now I've been trying to use a special soap on my body that is supposed to exfoliate apparently and different products on my face but I haven't seen any noticeable improvement. I'm desperate at this point so I would consider the laser option the most, but I saw that can cost up to a 1000$? :shock


----------



## CuriOwl

Hopeful, breaking free from the old layer of personality.


----------



## 3stacks

AffinityWing said:


> Is that you in your avatar? Because your face looks pretty good in it, if that's the case.
> 
> I was working on fixing mine before last summer, but then I ended up getting a sunburn again and they just came back worse. Now I've been trying to use a special soap on my body that is supposed to exfoliate apparently and different products on my face but I haven't seen any noticeable improvement. I'm desperate at this point so I would consider the laser option the most, but I saw that can cost up to a 1000$? :shock


It is, thank you! Yeah it makes me wanna avoid the sun lol even with sun cream on I still end up getting burnt. I've tried plenty of products too but none of them ever seem to help much, I even just ordered some vitamin c serum which probably wont help either haha. My acne scars are pretty bad on both sides of my face so I would love to get the lasers too and yeah its like over 1000 and I'm sure you have to get multiple sessions too so its just like ugh I cant afford that but I just want them gone. Hopefully one day you'll be able to get it done though cause I know how it feels to have the scars (do you have many on your face and are they bad?)and just how it can affect our confidence


----------



## The Linux Guy

Little sick, little nervous, little tired, and a little worried.


----------



## Unrelievedgreif

I am feeling sad I have no friends


----------



## harrison

I have a pretty decent headache - I went back to taking the amount of medication I'm supposed to and it always does that.


----------



## Crisigv

Like the world is crashing down on me.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Numb, that's about it.


----------



## CNikki

Emotional and anxious.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Numb, that's about it.


Sorry to hear. :hug


----------



## Fun Spirit

I don't know what to call it but I'm not really feeling talking online anymore. I been away from 2 forums. Here and another forum. When I returned I posted a couple of times but for some reason I'm just not feeling it. I have recently accepted the fact that I do better without having any friends or someone to talk to. Too much pressure and stress with trying to make a friend, meeting new people, etc. So I'm just letting go of having friendships.


----------



## caelle

Feeling sad. How will I ever get a boyfriend when I am so shy and insecure? I'm too old to still be like this.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry


----------



## Zatch

Alone on a battlefield. Divulged feelings for someone after already letting go of them. So I guess it doesn't hurt as much, but I'm not done. There's someone else I need to cut away from, that I'm even closer to.



Black As Day said:


> I don't know what to call it but I'm not really feeling talking online anymore. I been away from 2 forums. Here and another forum. When I returned I posted a couple of times but for some reason I'm just not feeling it. I have recently accepted the fact that I do better without having any friends or someone to talk to. Too much pressure and stress with trying to make a friend, meeting new people, etc. So I'm just letting go of having friendships.


It's good to be growing more distant from online, but I wouldn't recommend letting go of wanting friendships altogether. Of course, you know yourself better; you may still not want them in the next 10 or 20 years even. With that in mind, wishing you best of luck, since you're a cool person afaik.

Be safe out there.


----------



## unemployment simulator

getting bored of things.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I have a pretty decent headache - I went back to taking the amount of medication I'm supposed to and it always does that.


Sorry to hear mate. 



Crisigv said:


> Like the world is crashing down on me.


Sorry to hear. :hug



caelle said:


> Feeling sad. How will I ever get a boyfriend when I am so shy and insecure? I'm too old to still be like this.


:hug

From what I understand, happens when you are not looking for it, as you are acting more like yourself.

When try too hard, or not the person for you, are not acting like yourself and shyness, insecurity come into it.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Sorry to hear mate.


That's okay - all better now mate.  But thanks.

Just got a text from my son - he's out tonight but we'll see him tomorrow for dinner up at my wife's place. That always cheers me up.

Great to see you back on this thread again.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> That's okay - all better now mate.  But thanks.
> 
> Just got a text from my son - he's out tonight but we'll see him tomorrow for dinner up at my wife's place. That always cheers me up.
> 
> Great to see you back on this thread again.


Good to hear mate. 

I hope you all have a lovely time. 

Thank you for your kind words.


----------



## llodell88

"you're defective, you need to change. everyone hates you. i love you though"


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

A little down.


----------



## discopotato

scared


----------



## caelle

Dead tired. And I have to go to work in 2 hours. Can't go back to sleep at this point, I'll be too groggy when I wake up. But, still grateful to have this job. It's my own fault I didn't get enough sleep. Bad girl.
@ANX1 Thanks for the comforting words. I hope it is right.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored, lonely and extremely low on energy and hope. All this would go away if she came back and treated me right. Can't deal with being COMPLETELY cut off and discarded like this. It's ****ing horrible.


----------



## JerryAndSports

good today actually lol... yesterday I felt I was at my lowest point I overreact too much.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Zatch said:


> Alone on a battlefield. Divulged feelings for someone after already letting go of them. So I guess it doesn't hurt as much, but I'm not done. There's someone else I need to cut away from, that I'm even closer to.
> 
> It's good to be growing more distant from online, but I wouldn't recommend letting go of wanting friendships altogether. Of course, you know yourself better; you may still not want them in the next 10 or 20 years even. With that in mind, wishing you best of luck, since you're a cool person afaik.
> 
> Be safe out there.


Thanks


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed. Lonely. Unwanted.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

twytarn said:


> Depressed. Lonely. Unwanted.


This :frown2::squeeze


----------



## mgra

Meh


----------



## Wanderlust26

Annoyed. Depending on whether it's a weekday or weekend, the amount of time I spend on customer service ranges from 40-60%.


----------



## Crisigv

Not good at all. I feel horrible. I can't do this anymore. This needs to end. I'm out of my mind. I need help i need help i need help. i'm scared. It's over.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> Not good at all. I feel horrible. I can't do this anymore. This needs to end. I'm out of my mind. I need help i need help i need help. i'm scared. It's over.


I wish I could help you. I feel the frustration in your post. :frown2::squeeze


----------



## Depo

Feeling suicidal and extremely lonely. My benzo and alcohol abuse can't ease the pain anymore. I wish I was already dead.


----------



## girlyone1

I feel good but I have a lot on my mind. Wish decisions were easier to make.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Depo said:


> Feeling suicidal and extremely lonely. My benzo and alcohol abuse can't ease the pain anymore. I wish I was already dead.


:frown2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

caelle said:


> Dead tired. And I have to go to work in 2 hours. Can't go back to sleep at this point, I'll be too groggy when I wake up. But, still grateful to have this job. It's my own fault I didn't get enough sleep. Bad girl.
> 
> @*ANX1* Thanks for the comforting words. I hope it is right.


I'm thinking you'll sleep deeply the next time you sleep. 

You're welcome. 

I hope so too.


----------



## Kinable

I had 5 PMs today all from different people. Makes me feel great for some reason, like I'm getting somewhere and less alone


----------



## Vip3r

discopotato said:


> scared


:squeeze


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crap as usual. Waking up is so hard. I've had to stop taking naps because I wake up depressed from them. Sleep gives me relief, then reality gives me grief.


----------



## KotaBear96

Kinable said:


> I had 5 PMs today all from different people. Makes me feel great for some reason, like I'm getting somewhere and less alone


:boogie:clap


----------



## vedavon8

im just fed up with going to job interviews and want to be hired already


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Feel really bad today. All I want is her back. I do not have a clue what to do know she's gone and cannot stop grieving or figure out what to do. Last summer was paradise compared to this hell. Everything has hit me too hard this year. I have way too much wrong with me and I'm sick of having no one to spend time with again.


----------



## SpartanSaber

*Sad, pathetic, and I just feel like I don't belong here. *


----------



## Nick Attwell

Totally screwed


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

So, so very ****ing bored.


----------



## Suchness

Goddam the ego can be a ****, it really how to pull at your strings but I wont let it get to me, Im going to be more powerful.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I want to die.


----------



## Crisigv

just done


----------



## SofaKing

Unwanted


----------



## 3stacks

Ugly. Unloved. Depressed. Anxious and stupid.


----------



## mgra

Hugs to everyone feeling down today :squeeze :squeeze


----------



## Vip3r

Tired and hungry. Wishing some food would magical appear in front of me so I don't have to get up.


----------



## Crisigv

Like I don't exist. I'm pointless.


----------



## Iwannabenormal

I am thinking of I weren't me, I wouldn't like me. I really hate myself and I know I shouldn't. I feel guilty, toxic and just bad.


----------



## naes

Extremely anxious. Have my first Ketamine infusion tomorrow. I have put a lot of hope (and money) into this.


----------



## harrison

A bit strange. Didn't take my medication last night - had to stay at my wife's house and forgot to take any with me. I should leave some at her place. Not a good idea.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Horrible depression. I miss her too much and don't know wtf to do to take this away.


----------



## JerryAndSports

Better than last night that's for sure. But I quit my job and madden 19 comes out tonight sooooo pretty much I'm gonna be lit until the 20th when classes start.:grin2:


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hopeless. Trapped.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

twytarn said:


> Hopeless. Trapped.


You're username always makes me think of places in Wales. I know what it means, but it looks Welsh.

I'm sorry you're feeling ****e. I'm not sure how to not be trapped in one way or another, unless I win the ****ing lotto.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Never felt more lonely.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I feel more frustrated and lonely than I did in 2009, when I first started using an SA forum and opened up about my issues.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I've improved a lot from the complete recluse that I was, but I still detest the idea of working and still feel like I'll never be good enough for anyone I'm actually interested in. I'm still horribly avoidant of the work place and fear, get crushed by rejection.


----------



## MoosMas

Lonely


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Dead inside.


----------



## Crisigv

like crap, but who cares


----------



## Zatch

Smitten. But also a bit scared.


----------



## tea111red

Still stuck in this nightmare.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

This is supposed to be a good day out, but I know it's just going to take me back to this time last year and remind me of her. She should be with me, but she's gone, and I'll never get over this. I'm running out of time and needed her to help me get back some of the time I'd lost and wasted. There's so much more I could have done if she stood by me, and I could have made up for the lost and wasted time. I thought that's what would have happened, but I was wrong.


----------



## Suchness

Got a bad headache. I was eating this vegan schnitzel and halfway thru it I started to feel sick. My adrenal fatigue was really playing up which is weird because I havnt had it in weeks and I used to get it almost everyday. Not eating that crap anytime soon, sticking to more whole foods.


----------



## EarthDominator

I'm doing something wrong, but I don't know what. And it's frustrating me.


----------



## tea111red

Wish this depression would lessen so I'd have more energy.


----------



## tehuti88

I tried so hard to fight it over the past several years, but I believe I'm officially bitter and hateful now.


* *




I guess it doesn't matter as much as I'd thought it should since this is just what a sizeable/vocal minority of guys assumed I was from the start. (A little while ago, some self-described incel*, whom I'd never interacted with and couldn't tell from a hole in the ground, described me as "extremely toxic." I'd never posted anything like what he posted to earn that description--have never told anyone to kill themselves, even though I've been told that--have never belittled anyone's suffering as not mattering, even though mine has been belittled--have never once mocked anyone for being a virgin, ugly, short, fat, skinny, anxious, mentally ill, autistic, a minority, awkward, a particular age, a particular gender, a particular sexual orientation, a particular religion, unemployed, disabled, whatever, even though I've been mocked for most of those things--but I may as well assume the description, now.) And it can't be that much of a surprise or disappointment to anyone else that this is who I really am. It seems like lots of guys always saw this in me. Perhaps this is why I'm alone.

I don't like feeling like this. I wanted to be good and kind. But being hated and hateful seems to be all I was meant for. I also wanted to love and be loved, but that's definitely not going to happen.

All that's left for me to try is to not paint them all with the same brush, though I didn't deserve such a courtesy myself.

(*That self-described incel is in a relationship, BTW. Even he's worthy of love.)




Sorry I'm so "dramatic" (I'm guessing most people are sick of my posts). I just wish I knew why this is what I was meant for.


----------



## JerryAndSports

Good I guess


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tehuti88 said:


> I tried so hard to fight it over the past several years, but I believe I'm officially bitter and hateful now.
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I guess it doesn't matter as much as I'd thought it should since this is just what a sizeable/vocal minority of guys assumed I was from the start. (A little while ago, some self-described incel*, whom I'd never interacted with and couldn't tell from a hole in the ground, described me as "extremely toxic." I'd never posted anything like what he posted to earn that description--have never told anyone to kill themselves, even though I've been told that--have never belittled anyone's suffering as not mattering, even though mine has been belittled--have never once mocked anyone for being a virgin, ugly, short, fat, skinny, anxious, mentally ill, autistic, a minority, awkward, a particular age, a particular gender, a particular sexual orientation, a particular religion, unemployed, disabled, whatever, even though I've been mocked for most of those things--but I may as well assume the description, now.) And it can't be that much of a surprise or disappointment to anyone else that this is who I really am. It seems like lots of guys always saw this in me. Perhaps this is why I'm alone.
> 
> I don't like feeling like this. I wanted to be good and kind. But being hated and hateful seems to be all I was meant for. I also wanted to love and be loved, but that's definitely not going to happen.
> 
> All that's left for me to try is to not paint them all with the same brush, though I didn't deserve such a courtesy myself.
> 
> (*That self-described incel is in a relationship, BTW. Even he's worthy of love.)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry I'm so "dramatic" (I'm guessing most people are sick of my posts). I just wish I knew why this is what I was meant for.


Never let opinons of others define you. :hug

Opinions are common as butter, everyone has one.

In my opinion you are cool, kind. 

Darn it, those damn opinions again.


----------



## Zatch

Like ending it. I love myself but I know I can't make a difference in the people and places I really want to.


----------



## BeautyandRage

Nauseous


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

My day trip tour of Snowdonia was ****. A place I love, and areas I'd never been to before in and around Snowdonia, couldn't be enjoyed at all because of my constant anhedonia, and wishing she was their with me the whole time. If she'd have been their, it would have been great. 

I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't get over losing her and it's destroying me. All I feel is loss, worry, horrible loneliness and the inability to connect with anyone else, or the desire to even want to. I don't want to be here without her, and that's it.


----------



## In a Lonely Place

Awesome, just created and submitted my fantasy football teams ahead of the new season starting this week.

Get in.


----------



## funnynihilist

The fighting has started


----------



## Smallfry

Sleep deprived, anxious, lonely


----------



## harrison

Not good. I don't understand how I can be okay one day and feel so horrible the next.


----------



## Iwannabenormal

Sad, fooled, stupid, angry, lonely but determined.


----------



## SofaKing

Discouraged


----------



## Suchness

I feel more anxious in the morning. Need to go for a walk.


----------



## funnynihilist

Low


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling okay,slept for only two hour


----------



## PandaBearx

Exhausted, insomnia isn’t improving. I took a melatonin last night but only managed to sleep 3 hours. Which seems to be the norm for the past 2-3 weeks. I cut out coffee today so I’m hoping that’ll help....


----------



## SplendidBob

Awesome, after all this time it turns out there is a 2018 waiting list for the course. Seriously. **** sake.

Also my neck is really ****ing painful atm.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed. Lonely.


----------



## birddookie

twytarn said:


> Hopeless. Trapped.


:squeeze Hope you feel better..



MoosMas said:


> Lonely


:hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Dead inside.


Best wishes on feeling more alive.:squeeze



Crisigv said:


> like crap, but who cares


I care, whats going on, anyway I can help you? I hope you feel better.:squeeze



Pete Beale said:


> This is supposed to be a good day out, but I know it's just going to take me back to this time last year and remind me of her. She should be with me, but she's gone, and I'll never get over this. I'm running out of time and needed her to help me get back some of the time I'd lost and wasted. There's so much more I could have done if she stood by me, and I could have made up for the lost and wasted time. I thought that's what would have happened, but I was wrong.


Sorry to hear that man, if you could get over this woman, you would be a lot better off.



Suchness said:


> Got a bad headache. I was eating this vegan schnitzel and halfway thru it I started to feel sick. My adrenal fatigue was really playing up which is weird because I havnt had it in weeks and I used to get it almost everyday. Not eating that crap anytime soon, sticking to more whole foods.


Hope you're feeling better, I get that feeling all the times going Vegan/vegetarian. I need Meat for some reason.:grin2:



tehuti88 said:


> I tried so hard to fight it over the past several years, but I believe I'm officially bitter and hateful now.
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I guess it doesn't matter as much as I'd thought it should since this is just what a sizeable/vocal minority of guys assumed I was from the start. (A little while ago, some self-described incel*, whom I'd never interacted with and couldn't tell from a hole in the ground, described me as "extremely toxic." I'd never posted anything like what he posted to earn that description--have never told anyone to kill themselves, even though I've been told that--have never belittled anyone's suffering as not mattering, even though mine has been belittled--have never once mocked anyone for being a virgin, ugly, short, fat, skinny, anxious, mentally ill, autistic, a minority, awkward, a particular age, a particular gender, a particular sexual orientation, a particular religion, unemployed, disabled, whatever, even though I've been mocked for most of those things--but I may as well assume the description, now.) And it can't be that much of a surprise or disappointment to anyone else that this is who I really am. It seems like lots of guys always saw this in me. Perhaps this is why I'm alone.
> 
> I don't like feeling like this. I wanted to be good and kind. But being hated and hateful seems to be all I was meant for. I also wanted to love and be loved, but that's definitely not going to happen.
> 
> All that's left for me to try is to not paint them all with the same brush, though I didn't deserve such a courtesy myself.
> 
> (*That self-described incel is in a relationship, BTW. Even he's worthy of love.)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry I'm so "dramatic" (I'm guessing most people are sick of my posts). I just wish I knew why this is what I was meant for.


Hmm... If he showed examples of why you were toxic then I would see if those were valid points. Trolls are everywhere, also don't believe him if he says he's in a relationship. I can say right now that I'm in a relationship with Scarlett Johannson,. don't believe everything you read on the internet.

It's never too late to find love, and you don't seem mean to me. I hope you find somebody to love. : )

@*BeautyandRage* Hope you feel better.:hug

@*In a Lonely Place* ... You mean American Football, or Football?

@*Smallfry* :squeeze Same here on the sleep deprivation, and anxious department. Sweet dreams!:yawn I hope you find a friend.

@*harrison* I don't know about you, but I notice the days I don't workout before work, I feel like crap. Mainly because I roll out of bed and straight to my computer desk. Is there anything different you did between the days? May tomorrow be a great day for ya. : )

@*Iwannabenormal* Interesting combination, Hope your determination can get you out of this pickle.:high5

@*SofaKing* Stay strong, you can do this! : )

@*Suchness* A walk can cure most things, good choice.; )

@*funnynihilist* I hope you elevate tomorrow.:hug


----------



## Suchness

Better.


----------



## Iwannabenormal

@birddookie 
Thanks for support, good luck with your life.


----------



## Iwannabenormal

I still feel determined and even hopeful. All I need is a friend to help each other overcome this anxiety and any **** in life.


----------



## unemployment simulator

bit depressed again.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Stupid


----------



## BeautyandRage

R


----------



## SofaKing

I don't know why today feels worse than other days, but I truly feel worthless, useless, and irrelevant. I work at a job I no longer enjoy to pay taxes that mostly benefit others. I'm unwanted, unappreciated, undervalued, and I'm not getting any energy from looking forward to other things as I don't feel I have anything to look forward to.

I exist because I don't want to hurt the few people who actually care...

I'm definitely just a battery in the matrix.


----------



## In a Lonely Place

birddookie said:


> @*In a Lonely Place* ... You mean American Football, or Football?


Football

The beautiful game not that American rubbish version of Rugby with helmets, shoulder pads and pantyhose.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****

I've got hardly any good memories of spending time with someone, and don't know how to make any new ones.


----------



## Zatch

Upset still from this morning. Unfortunate.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Who cares...


----------



## BeautyandRage

Dreary :rain


----------



## Persephone The Dread

drained


----------



## Ekardy

Drowning


----------



## In a Lonely Place

Dozy


----------



## Vip3r

Depressed and lonely.


----------



## 3stacks

Disgusting and bored


----------



## Suchness

Tired. Only had about 3 hours sleep, gonna be one of those days.


----------



## Depo

Exhausted.


----------



## SofaKing

Despondent. There's nothing left.


----------



## alienbird

I'm still an idiot, but I feel slightly better.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm a worthless, useless pathetic excuse of a human being. I deserve to die.


----------



## Flora20

Crappy and depressed, just so alone..


----------



## harrison

birddookie said:


> @*harrison* I don't know about you, but I notice the days I don't workout before work, I feel like crap. Mainly because I roll out of bed and straight to my computer desk. Is there anything different you did between the days? May tomorrow be a great day for ya. : )


Sometimes I just have bad days - not sure if it's my medication or just me. It's difficult to tell - I'm a lot better now though.

But thanks anyway.


----------



## coeur_brise

Like Job pretty much. He lost everything and once that happened, he cursed the day of his birth. Some cruel God said, yo Satan, you can mess with my boy Job but spare his life, otherwise just **** with him, that's alright. And yea... Only now I need some cheerleaders to lead me on. I have no rest, though I sleep. Feel like I don't have much. Maybe my body. But utter chaos all around and I don't want to curse anyone but it happens.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Sad for myself and sad for everyone else in pain here. Wish I could take away all of our pain.


----------



## andy1984

low grade sadness, missing my ex gf and just thinking of her in general. but she said she wants nothing to do with me. i broke up with her, i had to, and i made peace with that. its just the sadness and being alone... not feeling lonely today though.


----------



## Quaffle

I've been finally getting better. Finally after an entire year of suffering from a burn-out and anxiety attacks, I'm finally starting to gather my thoughts again.


----------



## SplendidBob

Awful. Raging OCD / worry with a side helping of guilt and confused regret, don't want to get out of bed.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Nervous, but excited.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

twytarn said:


> Nervous, but excited.


Good! :smile2:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****.


----------



## 3stacks

Super anxious for no reason


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

C137 said:


> Pissed off at her. F*** she pisses me off.


:frown2:

I wish she'd show some empathy towards me. I'm in horrible ****ing pain and she's left me in a world of ****.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Genetic Girl said:


> Been feeling so depressed lately, losing interest in everything and just feel like isolating myself from people. :/


Same. :frown2:


----------



## Ekardy

ambivalent


----------



## In a Lonely Place

achey


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pete Beale said:


> Good! :smile2:


Yeah, I went out with an old friend that I hadn't seen in over a year. It was kind of awkward, but it was nice to get out of the house for a few hours.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

twytarn said:


> Yeah, I went out with an old friend that I hadn't seen in over a year. It was kind of awkward, but it was nice to get out of the house for a few hours.


I hope you get to go out with them again soon. It was nice to see you post something positive. Hopefully I'll get to do the same too one day and get a break from the bloody misery lol


----------



## birddookie

Iwannabenormal said:


> @birddookie
> Thanks for support, good luck with your life.


Thank you you as well! : )


SofaKing said:


> I don't know why today feels worse than other days, but I truly feel worthless, useless, and irrelevant. I work at a job I no longer enjoy to pay taxes that mostly benefit others. I'm unwanted, unappreciated, undervalued, and I'm not getting any energy from looking forward to other things as I don't feel I have anything to look forward to.
> 
> I exist because I don't want to hurt the few people who actually care...
> 
> I'm definitely just a battery in the matrix.


Know that feeling, hope things start looking up for you. :Sueeze



In a Lonely Place said:


> Football
> 
> The beautiful game not that American rubbish version of Rugby with helmets, shoulder pads and pantyhose.


Lol gotcha, I guess if the Jaguars ever go to London, it will be named the NAFL. ; )


iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Who cares...


We do bud.:hug



alienbird said:


> I'm still an idiot, but I feel slightly better.


Why do you say you're an idiot? I don't think you're an idiot. It's possible your SA is making you feel this way. Glad you're feeling slightly better. : D



Crisigv said:


> I'm a worthless, useless pathetic excuse of a human being. I deserve to die.


I think you're are a wonderful and kind person, who deserves to live and be happy. :squeeze



Flora20 said:


> Crappy and depressed, just so alone..


:squeeze We're here for you, and here if you need to talk.



harrison said:


> Sometimes I just have bad days - not sure if it's my medication or just me. It's difficult to tell - I'm a lot better now though.
> 
> But thanks anyway.


That's good to hear youre doing better. I had a not so good day today, I think mine was attributed to lack of sleep.



coeur_brise said:


> Like Job pretty much. He lost everything and once that happened, he cursed the day of his birth. Some cruel God said, yo Satan, you can mess with my boy Job but spare his life, otherwise just **** with him, that's alright. And yea... Only now I need some cheerleaders to lead me on. I have no rest, though I sleep. Feel like I don't have much. Maybe my body. But utter chaos all around and I don't want to curse anyone but it happens.


Never understood stories like that in the bible. Its easy to have faith when things go right in your life, but if it's in turmoil for the most part, how do you have faith? I hope you feel better and get out of the chaos.
:squeeze



andy1984 said:


> low grade sadness, missing my ex gf and just thinking of her in general. but she said she wants nothing to do with me. i broke up with her, i had to, and i made peace with that. its just the sadness and being alone... not feeling lonely today though.


:squeeze time will heal most of everything. Glad you're not feeling lonely today.

@3stacks hopefully you're about to win the lottery.: D

@twytarn That's great to hear that you got to see an old friend... let the excitement overflow your nervousness.:yay

@Quaffle Congrats on feeling better, sounds like a crazy ride.:smile2:

@Pete Beale whatever profane word that is, wish you well to feeling better.:squeeze

@C137 Hope you go for a walk and not be ticked off. Walking can help with a lot of life's problems.

@Ekardy Not fond of that feeling. Hope your mind is eased of the conflicts.:squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pete Beale said:


> I hope you get to go out with them again soon. It was nice to see you post something positive. Hopefully I'll get to do the same too one day and get a break from the bloody misery lol





birddookie said:


> @twytarn That's great to hear that you got to see an old friend... let the excitement overflow your nervousness.:yay


She doesn't live in the same area as me, so I don't see her too often. Thanks for the replies.


----------



## mobc1990

F**ked up


----------



## andy1984

birddookie said:


> :squeeze time will heal most of everything. Glad you're not feeling lonely today.


thank you :high5


----------



## CNikki

As I've stated not too long ago, this week has been quite hectic. I don't really know what I feel at this point.


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed


----------



## birddookie

twytarn said:


> She doesn't live in the same area as me, so I don't see her too often. Thanks for the replies.


Gotcha, know about that lol I have some friends myself that I see every other weekend when I can. Going up to see them tomorrow.You're welcome!:smile2:



mobc1990 said:


> F**ked up


Hope things straighten out for you.:squeeze



andy1984 said:


> thank you :high5


 You're welcome! :high5

@CNikki Sorry to hear your weeks been hectic, I hope the rest of your week is great.:squeeze

@Crisigv :squeeze Best wishes on you feeling better.


----------



## momentsunset

Nervous, I'm working with a model tomorrow for a photo shoot and we'll be outdoors - I'm nervous about the social interaction and also nervous about getting quality images. My vision for the photo shoot is bright & happy. I need some sun for this and there wasn't any today just lots of fog. I am crossing my fingers there will be at least some tomorrow, and less fog. If not I might have to change it to an indoor shoot to get the images I want and, I don't know, I would feel awkward asking someone I just met to come into my home and I feel like they might feel awkward about it too.


----------



## 0589471

shotty. I don't feel like censoring so I'll leave it misspelled.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Happy to know that there are decent, kind people out there -






That give back to the greatest generation who sacrificed a lot, so can have what we have today.


----------



## Fever Dream

Annoyed, I'm going to have to kick the egg roll bandito out of the room. Just won't stop whining.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@A Toxic Butterfly

For anyone feeling depressed or sad, here is a hug! :hug :squeeze


----------



## Ekardy

birddookie said:


> Not fond of that feeling. Hope your mind is eased of the conflicts.:squeeze


Thank you, I appreciate it :squeeze


----------



## 0589471

@iAmCodeMonkey Thanks monkey :squeeze


----------



## scooby

I'm having a difficult time getting out of bed.


----------



## coeur_brise

Thanks @birddookie :squeeze


----------



## birddookie

momentsunset said:


> Nervous, I'm working with a model tomorrow for a photo shoot and we'll be outdoors - I'm nervous about the social interaction and also nervous about getting quality images. My vision for the photo shoot is bright & happy. I need some sun for this and there wasn't any today just lots of fog. I am crossing my fingers there will be at least some tomorrow, and less fog. If not I might have to change it to an indoor shoot to get the images I want and, I don't know, I would feel awkward asking someone I just met to come into my home and I feel like they might feel awkward about it too.


Your wish is my command. :wink2:








A Toxic Butterfly said:


> shotty. I don't feel like censoring so I'll leave it misspelled.


 Hope you feel better.:squeeze



ANX1 said:


> Happy to know that there are decent, kind people out there -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> That give back to the greatest generation who sacrificed a lot, so can have what we have today.


That's great that officer did that,



Fever Dream said:


> Annoyed, I'm going to have to kick the egg roll bandito out of the room. Just won't stop whining.


Best wishes on getting them to stop whining.:hug


----------



## JerryAndSports

Pretty good this person from my "past" and me are talking again. Fun fun fun


----------



## tea111red

Future still looks bleak.


----------



## momentsunset

birddookie said:


> Your wish is my command. :wink2:


:O Amazing, thank you!


----------



## andy1984

tea111red said:


> Future still looks bleak.


for some reason that made me laugh. yeah it does look pretty bleak


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

birddookie said:


> That's great that officer did that,


:yes


----------



## tea111red

andy1984 said:


> for some reason that made me laugh. yeah it does look pretty bleak


yep...it sucks.


----------



## llodell88

violated as usual.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> shotty. I don't feel like censoring so I'll leave it misspelled.


Oh, so you know Shotty? -






I think that is a censored version. :O


----------



## SofaKing

Icky...a chest cold has me hacking up stuff.


----------



## Gamgee

I'm quite well. A little out of balance because I didn't sleep a lot last night.


----------



## llodell88

tired, never sleeping long enough. i wish i had something to do offline.


----------



## Suchness

Painful about how I used to be and who I've become. Things used to be so easy, I felt like I was the man but I'm a former shadow of who I used to be. I had to learn the hard way, the people that have it the hardest become the best healers.


----------



## Tabris

Pretty tired today. I woke up late for work so was trying to catch up. Going to take a nap later


----------



## birddookie

Ekardy said:


> Thank you, I appreciate it :squeeze


 You're welcome! : )



scooby said:


> I'm having a difficult time getting out of bed.


Wish you well today, some days are like that. :hug



coeur_brise said:


> Thanks @*birddookie* :squeeze


 You're welcome! : )



tea111red said:


> Future still looks bleak.


Hope your future starts to look brighter.:squeeze

.


momentsunset said:


> :O Amazing, thank you!


I got so carried away that I could use a Zelda reference, I forgot to hope that you have a sunny day, and try not to worry if you have to invite the model into your house. It's business, just don't have a messy living room. : )



llodell88 said:


> violated as usual.


:squeeze 


ANX1 said:


> Oh, so you know Shotty? -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I think that is a censored version. :O


:roflLMAO, I always loved the alternative curse words on the radio better than the cut outs. My favorite one was Get Low from Lil Jon & Ying Yang Twins. A and T was replaced with tig ol biddies.
It's at 1:25 if you don't like Crunk. It's not my cup of tea, but I'll listen to it. There is also a nice crunk alternative version with Dancing Mad from final fantasy 6.













SofaKing said:


> Icky...a chest cold has me hacking up stuff.


Hope you feel better.:squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

birddookie said:


> :roflLMAO, I always loved the alternative curse words on the radio better than the cut outs. My favorite one was Get Low from Lil Jon & Ying Yang Twins. A and T was replaced with tig ol biddies.
> It's at 1:25 if you don't like Crunk. It's not my cup of tea, but I'll listen to it. There is also a nice crunk alternative version with Dancing Mad from final fantasy 6.


Downunder we would say this -






It means next minute, but when a skater dude said it, just sounded like nek minute.  :lol


----------



## Crisigv

Short of breath


----------



## JerryAndSports

insecure


----------



## birddookie

ANX1 said:


> Downunder we would say this -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> It means next minute, but when a skater dude said it, just sounded like nek minute.  :lol


Lol, would like to hear the Aussies version of voice over alternative curse words to US bands. :laugh:



Crisigv said:


> Short of breath


 What's going on? If it's too serious please go to the hospital. I hope your breathing goes back to normal.:squeeze



JerryAndSports said:


> insecure


:squeezeHope you feel more at ease. What's making you insecure?


----------



## Vip3r

Exhausted and stressed. Went somewhere with my Dad, and his truck broke down. Stuck on the side of the road for awhile, so it was not a fun day.


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Exhausted and stressed. Went somewhere with my Dad, and his truck broke down. Stuck on the side of the road for awhile, so it was not a fun day.


That's the worst! I was stuck for 3 hours in scorching heat once until help came.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Currently: A combination of bad feelings. They almost always touch me when I login. I don't understand what is wrong.


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> That's the worst! I was stuck for 3 hours in scorching heat once until help came.


Aww, that sucks. It was scorching hot today, but luckily, we only had to wait about 40 minutes. It overheated so we let it cool off, and then made it to a gas station. Turns out it was just low on coolant because apparently my Dad hasn't checked it in forever. :bash


----------



## IcedOver

I'm not feeling too well. I have what I call "functional OCD" -- I do my rituals, and I'm good. They're part of me. My main thing has to do with writing with pen or pencil -- what I write, when I write, and when I don't write. To cut out the detail that nobody would understand unless you deal with the same thing, I discovered recently that I may have been violating my OCD "rules" unknowingly for the 19 years I've been in my apartment (the explanation of how wouldn't be relatable to anybody but me). That means that times when I thought I was good and doing things in the "correct" way according to my OCD "rules," (and I'm mainly concerned with these things when I go to movies), I was actually doing them wrong. It's causing me a lot of stress and is nagging at me.


----------



## Crisigv

Like a worthless loser.


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Aww, that sucks. It was scorching hot today, but luckily, we only had to wait about 40 minutes. It overheated so we let it cool off, and then made it to a gas station. Turns out it was just low on coolant because apparently my Dad hasn't checked it in forever. :bash


Lol that surprisingly happens to a lot of people. Before I could drive my dad made sure I learned enough about cars to and I quote "not be on the side of the road and a kidnapper comes and gets you." So that 3 hour day I had was with an ex in his car and his "what do women know about cars" mentality.


----------



## CNikki

Discarded. Like I'm not someone who would be considered as a decent if not a top priority. Not saying this like I'm owed anything (as contrary as it sounds.) I'd just like to be viewed on the same level as I'd like to for the other person...I've been reminded of it and it even seeps in while I'm asleep.


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> Lol that surprisingly happens to a lot of people. Before I could drive my dad made sure I learned enough about cars to and I quote "not be on the side of the road and a kidnapper comes and gets you." So that 3 hour day I had was with an ex in his car and his "what do women know about cars" mentality.


I am ocd about maintenance on my cars so I don't end up on the side of the road. Although, I don't think anyone wants to kidnap me. :lol Apparently, you know a lot more than him. :laugh:


----------



## 0589471

ANX1 said:


> Oh, so you know Shotty? -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I think that is a censored version. :O


lol oh goodness no!!!

I looked up that urban dictionary one too @birddookie made me laugh haha. So not where I was going with that!!

But thanks you guys made me laugh


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

birddookie said:


> Lol, would like to hear the Aussies version of voice over alternative curse words to US bands. :laugh:


There is an Aussie version of Nek minute -










A Toxic Butterfly said:


> lol oh goodness no!!!
> 
> I looked up that urban dictionary one too @*birddookie* made me laugh haha. So not where I was going with that!!
> 
> But thanks you guys made me laugh


Ok, nek minute.  :lol


----------



## komorikun

Did ANX1 rip off this member's avatar?

https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/members/****-sapiens-sapiens-940218/


----------



## Dimples08

Have visitors over and my anxiety is high. 
I know it's "rude" but I wish they'd leave now. They arrived at about 9pm and it's only been an hour and a half. I'm sure they're not leaving anytime soon.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****

Wish had someone who understood me and just let me be myself.


----------



## SplendidBob

My neck has seriously worsened over the last few weeks. Reaching an ominous point where I can actually feel the pain lying down.


----------



## tea111red

I want to be held.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> I want to be held.


And fed grapes. Throw in some black cherries as well. :frown2:


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> And fed grapes. Throw in some black cherries as well. :frown2:


lol, I don't even need the extravagance....I've been deprived for so long.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> lol, I don't even need the extravagance....I've been deprived for so long.


Me neither. 

I'd like to feed them grapes and cherries actually in return for some affection. :b


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Me neither.
> 
> I'd like to feed them grapes and cherries actually in return for some affection. :b


Haha...

It is a really suffocating feeling to be unable to get affection from someone who cares.


----------



## discopotato

hungover and miserable. Life is great


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

komorikun said:


> Did ANX1 rip off this member's avatar?
> 
> https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/members/****-sapiens-sapiens-940218/


I heard he got it from here -

http://www.avatarsdb.com/animals/cute-squirrel-avatar-51506.htm

:O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> I want to be held.


Reminds me of this song -


----------



## SplendidBob

Feeling weird. OCDish. Trying to tolerate it.

Neck is a ****ing disaster. Christ. Getting a lot of numbness now doing stuff that was fine until a few weeks ago. The skin on the back of my neck is starting to get shredded because of the massage machine I am using. I cant ****ing stand it atm.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

BeardedMessiahBob said:


> Feeling weird. OCDish. Trying to tolerate it.
> 
> Neck is a ****ing disaster. Christ. Getting a lot of numbness now doing stuff that was fine until a few weeks ago. The skin on the back of my neck is starting to get shredded because of the massage machine I am using. I cant ****ing stand it atm.


Sorry to hear mate. 

I find deep heat cream or hottie bottle (that is covered in a towel) with hot water from a kettle works for muscle pains.

With neck, I used to have muscle pains until tried a buckwheat pillow.

Have no idea if it works for what you have. :stu


----------



## SplendidBob

ANX1 said:


> Sorry to hear mate.
> 
> I find deep heat cream or hottie bottle (that is covered in a towel) with hot water from a kettle works for muscle pains.
> 
> With neck, I used to have muscle pains until tried a buckwheat pillow.
> 
> Have no idea if it works for what you have. :stu


Not muscular unfortunately, its nerve related at least partially because I can literally make the nerve sensation fire using a massage tool by sticking it next to the spine. It's even worse though, because I have a lower back problem which worsens the more I am lying down, and I have to lie down to not get the neck problem, so ****ing infuriating. I get the feeling my muscles are having to overwork though to deal with the underlying issue (which hasn't even been identified after what, 3 or 4 years?).

Worst thing is, everywhere I go people are doing unbelievable feats of neck gymnastics like sitting in chairs and reading books, and its like they are trolling me personally :lol.

Bad ****ing day.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

BeardedMessiahBob said:


> Not muscular unfortunately, its nerve related at least partially because I can literally make the nerve sensation fire using a massage tool by sticking it next to the spine. It's even worse though, because I have a lower back problem which worsens the more I am lying down, and I have to lie down to not get the neck problem, so ****ing infuriating. I get the feeling my muscles are having to overwork though to deal with the underlying issue (which hasn't even been identified after what, 3 or 4 years?).
> 
> Worst thing is, everywhere I go people are doing unbelievable feats of neck gymnastics like sitting in chairs and reading books, and its like they are trolling me personally :lol.
> 
> Bad ****ing day.


:sigh


----------



## KotaBear96

Suchness said:


> Painful about how I used to be and who I've become. Things used to be so easy, I felt like I was the man but I'm a former shadow of who I used to be. I had to learn the hard way, the people that have it the hardest become the best healers.


 :squeezeWise words, you still da man!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> I want to be held.


Me too.



tea111red said:


> It is a really suffocating feeling to be unable to get affection from someone who cares.


Yes, it is.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> Haha...
> 
> It is a really suffocating feeling to be unable to get affection from someone who cares.


They don't care. I care, but they don't. Sucks.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

twytarn said:


> Me too.
> 
> Yes, it is.


One of you needs my hairy chest pillow, the other can have my hairy gut pillow. You can fight over who get's what, or behave yourselves and share each, 50/50. :b


----------



## PandaBearx

Out of it


----------



## JerryAndSports

Tired /exhausted


----------



## SofaKing

Kind of silly...the city always has different festivals taking place. And while I'm not into crowd scenes, it's usually at least something to do that is usually free as well. Unfortunately, those places are loaded with food temptations I simply can't trust myself with. Sooo...I don't even go. If I had the kind of willpower I'm complimented for, I could go wherever I wanted and simply make solid choices instead of avoiding situations of temptation. I guess i'm actually weaker than I really need to be. Oh well...sometimes you have to accept your limitations to still get where you need to.


----------



## komorikun

Stuffed. Full of pancakes. Ugh. 

They were pretty good pancakes but I'm not super into pancakes in general. Think I'm only going to make pancakes once a month or less. French toast is much better.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> Kind of silly...the city always has different festivals taking place. And while I'm not into crowd scenes, it's usually at least something to do that is usually free as well. Unfortunately, those places are loaded with food temptations I simply can't trust myself with. Sooo...I don't even go. If I had the kind of willpower I'm complimented for, I could go wherever I wanted and simply make solid choices instead of avoiding situations of temptation. I guess i'm actually weaker than I really need to be. Oh well...sometimes you have to accept your limitations to still get where you need to.


My favourite festivals are food festivals. :b lol I went to my cities once and tried 18 dishes from 18 different places to eat. :O Had my first taste of Michelin Star rated food from Glynn Purnell. It was braised beef cheek with beetroot puree and wasabi pea crumble. Dessert was violet cream meringue. Bloody lovely.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

komorikun said:


> Stuffed. Full of pancakes. Ugh.
> 
> They were pretty good pancakes but I'm not super into pancakes in general. Think I'm only going to make pancakes once a month or less. French toast is much better.


Crepes with lemon whipped cream. om nom.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

JerryAndSports said:


> Tired /exhausted


Your chin slipped off your hand and you woke yourself up shortly after taking that avatar pic, didn't it? :b


----------



## JerryAndSports

Pete Beale said:


> Your chin slipped off your hand and you woke yourself up shortly after taking that avatar pic, didn't it? :b


Sounds about right lol


----------



## Suchness

KotaBear96 said:


> :squeezeWise words, you still da man!


Gracias.


----------



## harrison

I think I have a mild case of the flu. I had the flu shot so hopefully it won't get too bad.

Plus my mood is slightly elevated again - I cut back on my medication a bit because it seems to make me tired and I hate it.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling antsy a bit lately. My mood is down too.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

^ What she said.


----------



## Vip3r

Really good. I had the most fun night I have had in a long time. Went to an amazing Mexican restaurant. Had a gator burrito that was awesome. Then went to an arcade bar afterwards, and played some retro games.


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Really good. I had the most fun night I have had in a long time. Went to an amazing Mexican restaurant. Had a gator burrito that was awesome. Then went to an arcade bar afterwards, and played some retro games.


Just realized you're from Florida lol I'm originally from there, my brother in law used to try to convince me to try gator tacos and burgers ALL the time lol


----------



## KotaBear96

Suchness said:


> Gracias.


Grassy ***


----------



## Insomnium

Kinda sad. My closest friend and I got in a fight a while and I want to fix things, but she avoids me still and avoids eye contact if we are ever near each-other so I figure she still doesn't want to talk.


----------



## Lohikaarme

A little lonely


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crap.

Everything I want and need is out of reach because of the things that are wrong with me, that are so hard to fix. I'm supposed to just drag myself out of bed everyday, put on a mask of happy go lucky BS, and function in the rat race, but I ****ing can't because it makes me feel so ****ing ill and drained.


----------



## Cascades

Bored. So damn bored.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Cascades said:


> Bored. So damn bored.


Boredom is the worst thing. I wouldn't be bored if I had someone to do **** with, but I don't, and find solo **** boring. Actually, literally having a good solo **** is quite pleasant. :b lol

How many films did you watch before getting fed up? I can't watch movies now without thinking I'm just wasting my time and should be out living life. Can't concentrate for **** on a movie now.


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> Just realized you're from Florida lol I'm originally from there, my brother in law used to try to convince me to try gator tacos and burgers ALL the time lol


That is cool you are from Florida originally too. :high5 It was actually the first time I have had gator. It was delicious, I was surprised at how good it was.


----------



## Cascades

Pete Beale said:


> Boredom is the worst thing. I wouldn't be bored if I had someone to do **** with, but I don't, and find solo **** boring. Actually, literally having a good solo **** is quite pleasant. :b lol
> 
> How many films did you watch before getting fed up? I can't watch movies now without thinking I'm just wasting my time and should be out living life. Can't concentrate for **** on a movie now.


I haven't watched any yet, I have to wait till my weekend comes around so I have time to watch them

A few movies won't kill. You can't be doing things all the time :grin2:


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> That is cool you are from Florida originally too. :high5 It was actually the first time I have had gator. It was delicious, I was surprised at how good it was.


Does it really taste like chicken? My family said it did but I've just assumed they were trying to convince me to eat it lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored. I woke up way too early. I feel like it's 3 hours later than it actually is. :sus

Depressed, and lonely, as usual.


----------



## JerryAndSports

I stayed up to 6 in the morning and didn't get much sleep but beside that great


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> Does it really taste like chicken? My family said it did but I've just assumed they were trying to convince me to eat it lol


I would say it is more of a mix between chicken and fish with the texture of pork. It is definitely worth trying.


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> I would say it is more of a mix between chicken and fish with the texture of pork. It is definitely worth trying.


You know what fine...I'll THINK about it lol because this summer I really wanted to push myself to try new things...and I haven't yet.


----------



## girlyone1

I feel calm right now but worried that will change.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A bit nervous for what's to come. :/


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Hopefully I go in my sleep. So tired of all the negative emotions and not seeing a way out, and no one who's harmed me and contributed to my poor mental health has ever said sorry, shown any remorse, and it's ****ing painful. Pain they'll never know.


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> You know what fine...I'll THINK about it lol because this summer I really wanted to push myself to try new things...and I haven't yet.


There you go, that is the spirit. Never know till you try, lol.


----------



## CNikki

I guess the feeling of knowing that someone you care about doesn't feel the same way as you do...or so it seems. And how time wasting it is.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I feel terrible and alone.


----------



## SofaKing

I realize after my phone died today that the most I ever use it for is for Tapatalk and getting password-pin number verifications.

I barely exist in my own existence.


----------



## mobc1990

Good atm,did my job but felt guilt of not doing more at times


----------



## 0589471

lonely, ridiculous, obsessive.


----------



## komorikun

I did the ****ing laundry, so that's good. Didn't get a chance to cook my work lunches though. Wanted to make pesto but I still don't have a blender/food processor. Plus I ran out of time. Seems like I'm unable to cook AND do the laundry in the same day. Nor can I go grocery shopping and cook in the same day. I was planning on Saturday either going grocery shopping or going to downtown to hit Target, clothing stores, and a beauty supply place for hair shears. Felt fine when I woke up but got a headache 2 hours later, so that put an end to my shopping expedition. 

Everything is made time consuming due to my lack of money. Live in a cheap apartment, so I don't have an in-unit washer and dryer. Don't have a car, so I have to take the bus to go to my preferred grocery stores. And I can't buy too much at a time since I have to carry the **** on my back. I do fork over the dough to live in this expensive area though, so I don't have to bus it to work. Couldn't stand to do that. I don't get paid for the commute time.

My inability to wake up before 11am on the weekends and the fact that I take forever to get ready really makes me inefficient. I'm often not ready to leave the house until 4 or 5pm. But then certain stores close at 7pm. Ugh. I've had this problem all my life. Just don't get **** done if you are nocturnal and slow to wake up.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Feel terrible. Wish I had someone to open up to and feel comfortable around. I don't want to go through the awkwardness of having to explain myself to someone again, and for it to go wrong in the end, for whatever reason. I hate having to open up, expose myself and feel vulnerable, then the person turns on me. This is why I have bloody AVPD. It takes me ages to fully open up because of AVPD, then when I do I get **** on, making my AVPD worse. 

Truth is I really need to just forget about people and sort myself out, but I don't know how to ****ing do it because of the damn AVPD being a complete and utter nightmare, and all my other issues.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> I realize after my phone died today that the most I ever use it for is for Tapatalk and getting password-pin number verifications.
> 
> I barely exist in my own existence.


I haven't even turned mine on for close to two months. No point. :frown2:


----------



## funnynihilist

Dear God, it's only 9:30 am!


----------



## JerryAndSports

Anxious


----------



## birddookie

Crisigv said:


> Like a worthless loser.


:squeezeMore like priceless, you're a good person. I hope you feel better.



CNikki said:


> I guess the feeling of knowing that someone you care about doesn't feel the same way as you do...or so it seems. And how time wasting it is.


Sorry you're going through this, I hope you find someone who appreciates you, and feels the same way. :squeeze
@*ANX1* LOL, I had to watch the original video to understand what it's all about. : D Hmm wonder if we can edit his voice into the on to the next one by Jay Z



tea111red said:


> I want to be held.


:squeeze Know it's not the real thing, but hope it helps.



discopotato said:


> hungover and miserable. Life is great


:drunkI drank to, I always drink water when I drink, it cuts back on unneeded hangovers. Hope your hangover passes, and you feel better.

@*BeardedMessiahBob* Dang, that is some rough crap. Sorry you have to go through this pain. Would've thought by now the doctors might try sending you to some world renown spine surgeons to figure out what is wrong. If your doctors can't figure it out in 3-4 years. It seems like someone else needs a look at your neck.

@*twytarn* :squeeze Holding commence. May your loneliness melt away.

@Lohikaarme
:squeeze Here's some anti-lonely squeezes, I hope you feel better.

@*A Toxic Butterfly* 
:squeeze Some squeezes of love to hopefully help out my modfullness.

@*Scrub-Zero* :squeeze Hope the bad feelings pass.

@*SofaKing* :squeezeHope you find a good friend in real life... Same for the rest of the folks who are feeling lonely.


----------



## CNikki

birddookie said:


> Sorry you're going through this, I hope you find someone who appreciates you, and feels the same way. :squeeze


It's not a first and likely won't be the last. As pitiful as it sounds, I'm kind of used to it. I'd rather remain alone than subject myself in a life of never amounting or feel inadequate due to someone else's dissatisfaction and masochist ways (abuse because they can while remaining with me). It's better than the footsteps of what I've been exposed to and I know I'm just asking for trouble either way. So I'll leave it alone and just let life go through it's course. I'll be one of the last that remain with the lineage/name and probably will end the legacy from there.

But tmi but it's the truth.


----------



## girlyone1

Lost


----------



## Lohikaarme

@birddookie Thanks


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Completely defeated by depression, loneliness and all the other **** that bother's me. I'm so ****ed tired and my mind is blank, dead.


----------



## harrison

Like my head's going to explode.


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh


----------



## Yer Blues

Buzzed.

I mean by bees of course.


----------



## Flora20

Sad, alone, useless and unwanted by the world...


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Blah.


----------



## SplendidBob

@birddookie fairly sure its foraminal narrowing at c5-c6 like it said on the first MRI. Going to the doctor tomorrow with a document of everything tried, how effective it was and asking for a recommendation to see a private specialist since the NHS wont let me see one.

Going to push for trying oral steroids, or steroid injection, or nerve block, plus muscle relaxants. Will try to get something to help with the immediate discomfort of this flare up (which I have significantly worsened by the looks of it by trying random internet **** out of desperation).

I need a surgeon to clearly tell me the risks of surgery, so I can put it out of my mind and try to live with this ****ing ****. If I could find a way to sit at chairs reliably without worsening things it would be fine, I can handle the rest. It had improved quite a lot this year but its really ****ing bad atm.

Add to that I have gone off the idea of the psychology MSc. Not that I don't want to study it (I do), I just remain unconvinced what career I can do after it. Anything of note needs another 2 years study, but then, maybe I am not capable of anything of note anyway and should just do it for being more into the world and because the subject matter is interesting. Maybe I am just kidding myself that I will be able to function properly at any point anyway.

If I submit my app there is a slim chance I can get on it this year (if someone drops out), but I need to bull**** about the career I want afterwards in the covering letter, and I spent the day just thinking "wtf use is this going to be?" I could afterwards become a CBT therapist, but thats total horse**** therapy, everyone knows it lol. all the interesting jobs (health psychology, child psychology) need a **** tonne more education. Might be time for a rethink. Might just be avoidance though.


----------



## PandaBearx

Very emotional lately, I’m not liking it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

birddookie said:


> @*ANX1* LOL, I had to watch the original video to understand what it's all about. : D Hmm wonder if we can edit his voice into the on to the next one by Jay Z


Nek minute.


----------



## Vip3r

Motivated, finally got around to applying to a couple jobs I was interested in.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Confused at how these cats are taught to play instruments -






Not sure that these cats like playing those instruments.


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Motivated, finally got around to applying to a couple jobs I was interested in.


Keep motivated, good luck!! :high5


----------



## tea111red

Antsy


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Cursed. I can't bare the thought of working again or trying to open up to another person again in real life, only for it to fail. I really need to sort MYSELF out, but don't know how to do it. I wish I could just give up these thoughts and be at peace with being alone.


----------



## unemployment simulator

Pretty ****


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> Keep motivated, good luck!! :high5


Thanks!


----------



## Ekardy

Like I had 50 energy drinks! 
Woke up extremely energized and it feels great.


----------



## girlyone1

Good.


----------



## SofaKing

Can't one bus jump one curb one time?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Soul destroying loss and loneliness.


----------



## JerryAndSports

Very motivated actually, finally!


----------



## Vip3r

Terrified, just got a request to set up a phone interview. :afr Time to take some xanax and hope it goes well, lol.


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Terrified, just got a request to set up a phone interview. :afr Time to take some xanax and hope it goes well, lol.


Good luck! :squeeze


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> Good luck! :squeeze


Thanks! :squeeze


----------



## Vip3r

Just finished my phone interview. She asked me to describe myself, and why I was interested. I felt I just did okay, but I guess it was good enough. They have scheduled me for a face to face interview in a couple days. :yay


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Just finished my phone interview. She asked me to describe myself, and why I was interested. I felt I just did okay, but I guess it was good enough. They have scheduled me for a face to face interview in a couple days. :yay


:yay Yay, happy for you! :squeeze

(Btw, trying gator this Sunday! )


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> :yay Yay, happy for you! :squeeze
> 
> (Btw, trying gator this Sunday! )


Thanks! :squeeze Cool! Let me know if you like the gator.


----------



## Zatch

Sore as hell. They've been running me ragged at work.


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Thanks! :squeeze Cool! Let me know if you like the gator.


I figured it was a sign lol because I thought what are the chances I'll find gator around here! And one of the neighbors posted online about a crawfish place thats serving fried gator po'boys on Sundays this month.


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> I figured it was a sign lol because I thought what are the chances I'll find gator around here! And one of the neighbors posted online about a crawfish place thats serving fried gator po'boys on Sundays this month.


Awesome, I guess it was meant to be for you to try gator. :b


----------



## Suchness

Got around 6 hours sleep. I can really feel the difference, I feel more balanced, healthier even my skin feels better. If only I was able to get 6 hours most nights in the last few years I would have aged like an angel. **** me sideways and call me Billy Bob Thornton.


----------



## Ekardy

Like I love and care too easily. Makes people walk over me. Have me as a back up.


----------



## funnynihilist

Headachey


----------



## harrison

A hell of a lot better than yesterday. Thank God for that.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, worried about my sick loved one.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Tired, worried about my sick loved one.


Try and have a rest mate. Hope things get better for you all soon.


----------



## alienbird

Can't sleep. I think technology hinders my ability to have a normal sleep schedule. Addicted, man. I love reading things online. And on and on... so many things.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Try and have a rest mate. Hope things get better for you all soon.


Thank you for your kind words mate, it is much appreciated. 

I tried, slept a little bit, but with stress and having to go out it is a little hard to do.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

CNikki said:


> I've been on a bit of an emotional roller coaster as of lately. I may seem alright for a while (despite knowing the reality to be otherwise, but it's more of an escape in the moment) but then things start to crash down heavily after a while. Sort of like right now. I feel abandoned even though I know there's at least some people who care and I should feel grateful for that. If it really were to just be me, I would probably have gone off the rails by now. I keep reminding myself that, especially within the past year to be precise. One would have to know the full story to understand it and how it (partially) contributes to where I am at right now.
> 
> I just want things to be okay. Doesn't have to be some paradise or euphoria, just okay. This summer has been pretty bad for even though it should be a time to just relax. If I knew that it would be the way that it is now, I definitely would've changed some things that I have done prior in hopes to lessen the situations. Now it's just regret. I live up to the name of putting everything down, that's for certain. I just need someone right now.


:hug


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I'm in deep **** with my mental health. I don't have any desire or belief that I can become a self sufficient, independent person. I'm going to need help for the rest of my life. I'm always going to feel trapped and have no one to comfort me at all. I'm just a broken loner again, that will never be good enough. I feel no better than a mentally ill homeless person. The one person I needed has completely left me. I never truly knew how much I needed her until she had gone. I don't want to be this ****ing weak, hopeless, helpless and lonely anymore, but I don't know how to change because I'm too ill with too many problems.


----------



## SofaKing

I'm in denial about something. I always thought I'm just as fine on my own as I am being with someone else. I'm beginning to think otherwise. I've always "lived for others" and have a really difficult time living for myself. I can exist and take care of basic living requirements, sure, but I don't know that I can feel enriched by the life I'm living if it's just for me. I hate to think that I'm co-dependent due to the connotations of that. But, maybe I am what I am. I wonder if having a dog would suffice, though I'm not sure.


When I'm in a relationship, though, I'm not overly clingy so you'd think a partner would love to be with someone like me who is a caregiver by nature. Oh well...I can only control so many things in my life.


----------



## EBecca

weird


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Torn. In so many different directions. And they all want to drag me somewhere I really don't want to go. Paralyzed by the undesirability of all of these destinations. Some are somewhat more unpleasant than others but every single one of them is going to suck. Bad.


----------



## SofaKing

Desperate, I guess. Today is hard. I had these overwhelming urges to throw a chair through the office window and follow it through to the streets below.

Our HR lead innocently asked me how I was doing these days and that led to an hour long conversation about my workplace misery where I used every strength to avoid breaking down and bawling like a baby.

It didn't help that she used her own dissatisfaction with the organization as a way of saying "you're not alone".

I am Jack's raw nerve.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Pissed off and annoyed.


----------



## twitchy666

*Everyone's Happy*

I thee only one who's never been 'appy. ƒamily roots sour. :crying: my parents hated and mocked.. your Old Dear!

how about a competition???:grin2:

anyone try act / pretend how miserable they really are. Anyone capable of doing that???

nobody ever had any problem. always praised & worshipped. Never attacked or lost anything?

All humans get loved by humans. quick n' easy. no effort required. auto life provided>
Never been in gutter?


----------



## caelle

Annoyed! My computer has been installing update 1 of 4 for over an hour!! It's the beginning of my mini 2 day vacation and I want to internet on my computer. My phone too small. Geez I sound like a brat but I'm boreed


----------



## twitchy666

*no software is made to be usable. not friendly*

just mocking users, taking advantage of 'em

this is what the world's for. capitalism dark for profit is easy, but can be a light side of it just funny

aim just for prettiness! as cars and phones, jewellery, clothes. everything made for children


----------



## Vip3r

Feeling confident and good about things to come. I hope this feeling stays.


----------



## harrison

SofaKing said:


> Desperate, I guess. Today is hard. I had these overwhelming urges to throw a chair through the office window and follow it through to the streets below.
> 
> Our HR lead innocently asked me how I was doing these days and that led to an hour long conversation about my workplace misery where I used every strength to avoid breaking down and bawling like a baby.
> 
> It didn't help that she used her own dissatisfaction with the organization as a way of saying "you're not alone".
> 
> I am Jack's raw nerve.


Sounds like you really need a holiday mate. I know you don't like the idea of travelling on your own and you have trouble making decisions - but it would be better than this, wouldn't it? Maybe a completely different location might make you feel a bit better - even if it was just for a while. It can change your whole perspective.

Hope it gets better anyway.


----------



## alienbird

Vip3r said:


> Feeling confident and good about things to come. I hope this feeling stays.


That's awesome!


----------



## Vip3r

alienbird said:


> That's awesome!


Thanks! The future is bright. :grin2:


----------



## alienbird

Vip3r said:


> Thanks! The future is bright. :grin2:


Indeed it is. :yay


----------



## SofaKing

harrison said:


> Sounds like you really need a holiday mate. I know you don't like the idea of travelling on your own and you have trouble making decisions - but it would be better than this, wouldn't it? Maybe a completely different location might make you feel a bit better - even if it was just for a while. It can change your whole perspective.
> 
> Hope it gets better anyway.


Thanks...I have to do something...it's getting rather desperate.


----------



## tehuti88

Every time I start to feel a little better, I'm reminded of what useless unwanted s*** I really am.

The few people who are kind are probably faking it. I wouldn't blame them. I hate me too.


----------



## 0589471

tehuti88 said:


> Every time I start to feel a little better, I'm reminded of what useless unwanted s*** I really am.
> 
> The few people who are kind are probably faking it. I wouldn't blame them. I hate me too.


definitely not faking. We've been buddies on here for awhile Tehuti. Hang in there :squeeze You are the farthest thing from s*** my dear. ♡♡♡


----------



## Zatch

Anxious. May have to watch over a kid soon, with full responsibility henceforth. Never had that before.

I feel like I will adapt well but it still makes me nervous in the short term.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tehuti88 said:


> Every time I start to feel a little better, I'm reminded of what useless unwanted s*** I really am.


:hug

Umm, what happened on here that reminded you of that?



tehuti88 said:


> The few people who are kind are probably faking it. I wouldn't blame them. I hate me too.


:no

You are always kind, lovely to me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tehuti88

Here is a song to hopefully bring back some positive thoughts -


----------



## CNikki

A little better than yesterday, I suppose. At least I'm not crying over anything and nearly getting into a meltdown. 

Also catching up on some things that aren't pertained to my business (what else is new.) Found that a former-close friend broke up with their partner and making a big thing over it on social media. This is the person who stopped being friends with me while saying that I was immature, along with other worse things that they've told me before cutting ties. Guess I only learned from the best. :stu


----------



## harrison

tehuti88 said:


> Every time I start to feel a little better, I'm reminded of what useless unwanted s*** I really am.
> 
> *The few people who are kind are probably faking it.* I wouldn't blame them. I hate me too.


No way, Jose. 

We're not faking it young lady - we actually like you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

CNikki said:


> A little better than yesterday, I suppose. At least I'm not crying over anything and nearly getting into a meltdown.
> 
> Also catching up on some things that aren't pertained to my business (what else is new.) Found that a former-close friend broke up with their partner and making a big thing over it on social media. This is the person who stopped being friends with me while saying that I was immature, along with other worse things that they've told me before cutting ties. Guess I only learned from the best. :stu


Good to hear that you feel a little bit better.


----------



## CNikki

ANX1 said:


> Good to hear that you feel a little bit better.


Thank you. I'm trying not to get to that point but sometimes it's hard.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Physically crap. Crappy bed + bad sleep after no sleep + cold/cough.


----------



## 0589471

Persephone The Dread said:


> Physically crap. Crappy bed + bad sleep after no sleep + cold/cough.


ugh I'm sorry that's real misery :squeeze are you able to get your hands on any cold medicine?? if anything it seems to give me proper sleep at least when I'm that sick.


----------



## tea111red

I just got rid of all this muscle tension in my neck and back the other day, but now it is back due to stress and anxiety. :no


----------



## Overcast

kind of sleepy. I woke up at 2am today and I couldn't fall back to sleep.


----------



## Overcast

tea111red said:


> I just got rid of all this muscle tension in my neck and back the other day, but now it is back due to stress and anxiety. :no


How? With a massage or something? My back has been hurting recently, and all the time I spend on my computer has probably been making it worse :con


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

CNikki said:


> Thank you. I'm trying not to get to that point but sometimes it's hard.


You're welcome. 

Life is never easy. All we can do is our best to not let it get to us. Stay strong. 



tea111red said:


> I just got rid of all this muscle tension in my neck and back the other day, but now it is back due to stress and anxiety. :no


 

Sounds like you need a Miyagi massage -


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Like I'm back in the 80's.

Noone can sing this song like SOS in the 80's -


----------



## Deaf Mute

Anxious.. concert soon :blank


----------



## LunaliketheMoon

*How I Am Feeling Today*

I feel like crap. School is starting again (I am beginning my junior year of college), so I have to go to orientation for the school paper again. Just about everyone from the school paper shows up to it, since it is mandatory. I have recently gained back weight I had lost, so I feel even sh***ier than usual. Lots of anxiety right now. Sometimes I wonder why I even decided to stay with the school paper.


----------



## Taaylah

Ughhhh


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Feel so ill with the depression. It won't be long until I'm in the 13 stone zone. I haven't weighed in at this weight for well over a decade and it's all due to depression and stress.


----------



## Ekardy

Feel great  I spoke to two people I wouldn’t normally start conversations with because I never know what to say (a neighbor and an acquaintance I knew from school). It was online but it was a start and I feel good about it, I wasn’t as nervous. 
I’m still trying to learn how to end conversations though lol


----------



## CNikki

Sick, sleep deprived and annoyed (to put it mildly). I just want to disappear.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Revitalized.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I feel like I've completely lost my mind and there is no help. I can only help myself so much and I'm so ****ing lonely. The vast majority of my life has been ****, and I'm desperate for something, someone to save me from myself. I just want and need a bit of good company and some peace before I die. I'm too old to feel this bad and have spent too much time ill and suffering. I'm so tired.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That I'm loving this new Retro wave, as is taking me back to when I was young -


----------



## Vip3r

Content, I felt like I did really great in my interview. Hopefully, I get the job.


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Content, I felt like I did really great in my interview. Hopefully, I get the job.


Sure you did great! :high5


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> Sure you did great! :high5


Thanks


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

In my opinion one of the most beautiful love songs ever made -






Her Angelic voice reminds me of Aliyah and feel like in heaven. :crying:


----------



## Vip3r

Disappointed, I didn't get the job. I really thought I did good in the interview.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Crappy.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Vip3r said:


> Disappointed, I didn't get the job. I really thought I did good in the interview.


Sorry to hear mate. 

Hopefully there will be something better on the horizon (crossing fingers, toes).


----------



## Suchness

Vip3r said:


> Disappointed, I didn't get the job. I really thought I did good in the interview.


Better luck next time. The Android saga continues.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

twytarn said:


> Crappy.


Awww. :hug


----------



## Vip3r

ANX1 said:


> Sorry to hear mate.
> 
> Hopefully there will be something better on the horizon (crossing fingers, toes).


Thanks, I hope so. This job seemed like a perfect fit for me.



Suchness said:


> Better luck next time. The Android saga continues.


Lol, Android 17 will be back. :grin2:


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Disappointed, I didn't get the job. I really thought I did good in the interview.


Oh no I'm so sorry!
Don't let this get you down, everything will be okay :squeeze


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> Oh no I'm so sorry!
> Don't let this get you down, everything will be okay :squeeze


Thanks :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Vip3r said:


> Thanks, I hope so. This job seemed like a perfect fit for me.


You're welcome. 

They often do, but there sometimes is something better down the road in life.


----------



## roxslide

Someone just texted this to me and I don't know how to respond. I'm feeling conflicted about talking to them I guess.


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Thanks :squeeze


You didn't get this one because life has something else for you down the road :squeeze just keep putting yourself out there and you'll find it or it'll find you 
You know what'll make you feel better? Gator lol


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> You didn't get this one because life has something else for you down the road :squeeze just keep putting yourself out there and you'll find it or it'll find you
> You know what'll make you feel better? Gator lol


A gator burrito would cheer me up, lol. :laugh:


----------



## tea111red

Overcast said:


> How? With a massage or something? My back has been hurting recently, and all the time I spend on my computer has probably been making it worse :con


Yeah, the other day I did self-massage w/ my hands and this massage tool (I pressed into the tool w/ my body till I felt relief on the affected areas). I also laid on my back and hung half my body off the side of the bed to help stretch it periodically.

In the past I've used a foam roller and lied back on a balance ball to help release tension, but I don't have those things w/ me right now so can't resort to them.

Other things that currently help me ...pushing my body up off the ground on these 2 chairs (they are pretty stable) for 10-15 seconds and then stretching my upper body out. I do these things till I feel a good amount of relief. I also do light exercise (5-10 minutes usually) to help loosen things up more. The latter is good whenever, but especially when my muscles are still a little too tense to do self-massage.

Sorry this isn't put together better, lol...I'm pretty fatigued and using a small phone to type this out.


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> Sounds like you need a Miyagi massage -


Haha...seems kind of like Reiki?


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry/tired


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored to death and miserable as sin.


----------



## Ekardy

_Existential crisis._


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Haha...seems kind of like Reiki?


They say was based off Reiki. I think in the story line his father passed out off Okinawa and travelled to China where he learnt Karate, etc.

But they say the character is supposed to be a descendant of Chojun Miyagi. Thé founder of Goju-ryu Karate. He supposedly travelled to China, but not in that way. Based off a true life story, but modified for film.

I think they used cupping therapy in China back in the days of the Emperor (even today for some athletes) for muscle injuries. Or fire massage.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I seem to be feeling more moody and irritable than usual. Not good.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I seem to be feeling more moody and irritable than usual. Not good.


Feel the same and can't get rid of it. Only talking to her would relieve it, so I'm ****ed.


----------



## SofaKing

Happy happy, joy joy...approaching another solitary weekend of living in my head.


----------



## unemployment simulator

another day, another bad mood.


----------



## 0589471

kind of sad. the really long and convenient charging cable my ex had given me for my phone overheated and caught fire. I had to toss it. It's like I keep losing these practical yet sentimental gifts he'd given me. If that's the case I'm not touching my PS4. :afr


----------



## Kevin001

Torn.....uncle wants to catch rides with me when I Uber to work. So free rides for him to gamble. Um so he has a serious issue with gambling, he is getting a free ride while I'm paying ridiculous money, and it makes the ride more awkward.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Kevin001 said:


> Torn.....uncle wants to catch rides with me when I Uber to work. So free rides for him to gamble. Um so he has a serious issue with gambling, he is getting a free ride while I'm paying ridiculous money, and it makes the ride more awkward.


At the very least, he should be chipping in for the cost, it's not your responsibility to provide him free rides.


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> They say was based off Reiki. I think in the story line his father passed out off Okinawa and travelled to China where he learnt Karate, etc.
> 
> But they say the character is supposed to be a descendant of Chojun Miyagi. Thé founder of Goju-ryu Karate. He supposedly travelled to China, but not in that way. Based off a true life story, but modified for film.
> 
> I think they used cupping therapy in China back in the days of the Emperor (even today for some athletes) for muscle injuries. Or fire massage.


Cupping looks interesting....I'd like to try it.


----------



## Chevy396

Like I'm 'bout to go get another big oily sugar glazed donut.


----------



## CNikki

Ekardy said:


> _Existential crisis._


Have to love them, right?

:hug


----------



## Ekardy

I feel like ****, I've been living on my own for almost 4 years and I've yet to make a friend on my own. I feel like moving back to my home state so at least I'll have friends I went to school with, but I know that won't help me improve in the long run.


----------



## SofaKing

Ekardy said:


> I feel like ****, I've been living on my own for almost 4 years and I've yet to make a friend on my own. I feel like moving back to my home state so at least I'll have friends I went to school with, but I know that won't help me improve in the long run.


I'm also far from home. I've tried going back once before, but it wasn't what I expected.

Try and bloom where you're planted.


----------



## Ekardy

CNikki said:


> Have to love them, right?
> 
> :hug


:hug

Feels like :rain :huh uke :dead (in that order)


----------



## Ekardy

SofaKing said:


> I'm also far from home. I've tried going back once before, but it wasn't what I expected.
> 
> Try and bloom where you're planted.


I'm really trying, I really am. Then I get into these moments like right now where I'm crying because it's so frustrating (like ugh!!) because I know I'm my own worst enemy. I'm my own obstacle.


----------



## SofaKing

Ekardy said:


> I'm really trying, I really am. Then I get into these moments like right now where I'm crying because it's so frustrating (like ugh!!) because I know I'm my own worst enemy. I'm my own obstacle.


I know that exact sentiment. It'll pass, but ride the wave. Hugs.


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> I feel like ****, I've been living on my own for almost 4 years and I've yet to make a friend on my own. I feel like moving back to my home state so at least I'll have friends I went to school with, but I know that won't help me improve in the long run.


I feel you, making friends has always been hard for me too. Don't give up, keep trying. :squeeze


----------



## Ekardy

SofaKing said:


> I know that exact sentiment. It'll pass, but ride the wave. Hugs.





Vip3r said:


> I feel you, making friends has always been hard for me too. Don't give up, keep trying. :squeeze


I've had three panic attacks in the past week, so I really hope this wave passes soon.

Thank you you guys :squeeze :heart


----------



## CNikki

Unleashed insomnia even though I have to get up early. Shouldn't have taken that accidental hour nap. Having some anxiety and feeling like crap after crying. I really need to stop with this crying business. To think I was good at it for some time up until fairly recent. Maybe I can blame hormones for it. 

On top of that, it's thundering. Great.


----------



## Kevin001

twytarn said:


> At the very least, he should be chipping in for the cost, it's not your responsibility to provide him free rides.


Idk seems selfish on my part, biggest thing is being an enabler for the gambling. He didn't tag along today .


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Horribly depressed and lonely. I miss her so ****ing much. She meant so many different things to me and I needed her far more than I ever knew. I can't exist for a minute without feeling the heavy loss of her. Just a constant feeling of depression, feeling ill. It's like a can't ****ing breath properly. 

I've been tempted to start drinking again over this and I haven't touched a drop for almost 3 years and 8 months.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely, stressed.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

ANX1 said:


> Tired, lonely, stressed.


:frown2::frown2::frown2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> :frown2::frown2::frown2:


 Thank you mate for your concern, as is much appreciated. 

I hope that you will feel better after some time. Going through loss in any form is not nice to go through.

I guess I want to see you happy again.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Cupping looks interesting....I'd like to try it.


It looks like the stick with fire on the end burns all oxygen in the cup and creates suction when applied to the skin, which makes the skin lift.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Anxious. I'm about to leave to see an out-of-town friend for brunch. I'm always worried my friends will change their minds about me, and that _this _time, I will finally reveal what a dork I am and they will leave me.


----------



## Overcast

tea111red said:


> Yeah, the other day I did self-massage w/ my hands and this massage tool (I pressed into the tool w/ my body till I felt relief on the affected areas). I also laid on my back and hung half my body off the side of the bed to help stretch it periodically.
> 
> In the past I've used a foam roller and lied back on a balance ball to help release tension, but I don't have those things w/ me right now so can't resort to them.
> 
> Other things that currently help me ...pushing my body up off the ground on these 2 chairs (they are pretty stable) for 10-15 seconds and then stretching my upper body out. I do these things till I feel a good amount of relief. I also do light exercise (5-10 minutes usually) to help loosen things up more. The latter is good whenever, but especially when my muscles are still a little too tense to do self-massage.
> 
> Sorry this isn't put together better, lol...I'm pretty fatigued and using a small phone to type this out.


lol thanks. My sister has one those foam roller things but I never knew what it was for. I'm going to start stretching too.


----------



## IcedOver

I'm feeling really bad, very negative and hopeless. It's been a horrible few weeks at work, and this week was a very bizarre situation regarding another employee that wouldn't even have been brought into work had I not mentioned it. I can't take this job any longer, but my prospects for anything else aren't good. Also still dealing with an OCD fvck-up that has been sticking in my mind like a hangnail that won't go away. Every single night this week I haven't gone to bed regularly, but just fallen asleep sitting/slouching over. A few times when I have had time after waking up, I have lain down to sleep some more and help my bad back, which is not helped by the sitting-sleeping.

This year is going by faster than any other before. A year ago seems like a blip.


----------



## girlyone1

Pretty good.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

ANX1 said:


> Thank you mate for your concern, as is much appreciated.
> 
> I hope that you will feel better after some time. Going through loss in any form is not nice to go through.
> 
> I guess I want to see you happy again.


Thanks mate. I want to see everyone happy here. We're a right bunch of miserable gits and it ain't right! lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired of struggling, tired of living.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> ugh I'm sorry that's real misery :squeeze are you able to get your hands on any cold medicine?? if anything it seems to give me proper sleep at least when I'm that sick.


Thanks I did end up taking lemsip last night, which helped and felt a bit better today.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Thanks mate. I want to see everyone happy here. We're a right bunch of miserable gits and it ain't right! lol


You're welcome mate. 

Would be nice to see everyone happy. 



twytarn said:


> Tired of struggling, tired of living.


Can relate to that at times. 

But makes one think about, how can one change that. Then think, when there is a will, there is a way to get through the hard times to get to the good times. Done it before in the past (all of us most likely have, but sometimes forget that we have), so can do it again.


----------



## birddookie

CNikki said:


> It's not a first and likely won't be the last. As pitiful as it sounds, I'm kind of used to it. I'd rather remain alone than subject myself in a life of never amounting or feel inadequate due to someone else's dissatisfaction and masochist ways (abuse because they can while remaining with me). It's better than the footsteps of what I've been exposed to and I know I'm just asking for trouble either way. So I'll leave it alone and just let life go through it's course. I'll be one of the last that remain with the lineage/name and probably will end the legacy from there.
> 
> But tmi but it's the truth.


You can find good people in your life, just keep searching. The riffraff that makes you feel inadequate or never amounting to anything, cut them out. People who treat you with no respect get the out as well. Best wishes to you Cnikki.:squeeze



Lohikaarme said:


> @*birddookie* Thanks


You're welcome and saw revitalized going through the pages. Good to hear.







BeardedMessiahBob said:


> @*birddookie* fairly sure its foraminal narrowing at c5-c6 like it said on the first MRI. Going to the doctor tomorrow with a document of everything tried, how effective it was and asking for a recommendation to see a private specialist since the NHS wont let me see one.
> 
> Going to push for trying oral steroids, or steroid injection, or nerve block, plus muscle relaxants. Will try to get something to help with the immediate discomfort of this flare up (which I have significantly worsened by the looks of it by trying random internet **** out of desperation).
> 
> I need a surgeon to clearly tell me the risks of surgery, so I can put it out of my mind and try to live with this ****ing ****. If I could find a way to sit at chairs reliably without worsening things it would be fine, I can handle the rest. It had improved quite a lot this year but its really ****ing bad atm.
> 
> Add to that I have gone off the idea of the psychology MSc. Not that I don't want to study it (I do), I just remain unconvinced what career I can do after it. Anything of note needs another 2 years study, but then, maybe I am not capable of anything of note anyway and should just do it for being more into the world and because the subject matter is interesting. Maybe I am just kidding myself that I will be able to function properly at any point anyway.
> 
> If I submit my app there is a slim chance I can get on it this year (if someone drops out), but I need to bull**** about the career I want afterwards in the covering letter, and I spent the day just thinking "wtf use is this going to be?" I could afterwards become a CBT therapist, but thats total horse**** therapy, everyone knows it lol. all the interesting jobs (health psychology, child psychology) need a **** tonne more education. Might be time for a rethink. Might just be avoidance though.


Sorry to hear that, hopefully surgery can fix the issue, depending on the % it might be worth it.

I remember you posting about not getting your application applied in time because you didn't know you could put it in earlier. Is it possible to take gen ed classes if you don't get accepted into the curriculum? I don't know how Colleges in the UK work, but US Colleges has pretty much 2 years of classes unrelated to the field you get a degree for. Heck who knows you might get in. Good luck, and hope your neck problem goes away.:squeeze



ANX1 said:


> Nek minute.


Don't give Lil Jon any Ideas. : )



alienbird said:


> Can't sleep. I think technology hinders my ability to have a normal sleep schedule. Addicted, man. I love reading things online. And on and on... so many things.


It's proven the blue light from screens inhibit your sleep. Agg you're addicted, so it's tougher as well. Yeah lol it's fun reading up on something, and then see oh look 10 places in the world that you can't visit, ah 20 weird photos of people. Hope you can curb the addiction, it's tough to get away from the screens sometimes. :Squeeze



Vip3r said:


> Disappointed, I didn't get the job. I really thought I did good in the interview.


Sorry to hear that man, you'll find one soon. :hug



roxslide said:


> Someone just texted this to me and I don't know how to respond. I'm feeling conflicted about talking to them I guess.


Reply back with this video, it fit the "this" of their text.








ANX1 said:


> Tired, lonely, stressed.


:squeeze



twytarn said:


> Tired of struggling, tired of living.


Sorry to hear that. :hug Hope the feeling passes, you're a good person twytarn. :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

ANX1 said:


> Can relate to that at times.
> 
> But makes one think about, how can one change that. Then think, when there is a will, there is a way to get through the hard times to get to the good times. Done it before in the past (all of us most likely have, but sometimes forget that we have), so can do it again.





birddookie said:


> Sorry to hear that. :hug Hope the feeling passes, you're a good person twytarn. :squeeze


Thank you.


----------



## caelle

I am so mad at myself

There was a very attractive man at work who was FLIRTING with me and trying to get to know me and I was too shy to talk to him oh my gawd. I did make a couple full sentences but they were mostly 1 word responses. 

I'm sad


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

birddookie said:


> Don't give Lil Jon any Ideas. : )


Yeah (in Lil John voice), Nek minute. 



birddookie said:


> :squeeze


Thanks mate. 



twytarn said:


> Thank you.


You're welcome. 

Stay strong. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

caelle said:


> I am so mad at myself
> 
> There was a very attractive man at work who was FLIRTING with me and trying to get to know me and I was too shy to talk to him oh my gawd. I did make a couple full sentences but they were mostly 1 word responses.
> 
> I'm sad


Sounds like you like him. :O :grin2:


----------



## 3stacks

Stupid


----------



## zonebox

Not so shabby. I'm gonna have some mac & cheese here in a few minutes, then I'll crawl into my bed, watch a few cartoons or perhaps a horror movie, and drift off into sleep. Ultimately, I feel pretty tired and hungry. I keep catching myself falling asleep, but trying to push it off for some cheesy gewdnezz.


----------



## alienbird

Worried...


----------



## Ekardy

Concerned...


----------



## andretti

Like a sad panda . 
Saw the mother of my kids today. Not that I wish we was together. I couldn't stand her and still can't. 
Every person I break up ends up happier after me .
Not that i wish misery on anyone but it makes me think .


----------



## harrison

A bit full. I probably didn't need all that pasta.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Complete ****.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I'm always scared of going to hell, because of several things in the Bible.


----------



## funnynihilist

Not great


----------



## Kevin001

Weird feel like I'm losing weight and digestive system all messed up.


----------



## EarthDominator

Betrayed, I thought someone cared about me but it turned out she did not care at all. I'm not going to trust anyone any longer.


----------



## girlyone1

EarthDominator said:


> Betrayed, I thought someone cared about me but it turned out she did not care at all. I'm not going to trust anyone any longer.


Yea ppl are liars and cruel. Only want to use ppl.


----------



## scintilla

I am feeling sad


----------



## kesker

Stressed to the point of illness. Not sure what the hell is going on. Not feeling right physically. :no


----------



## Suchness

kesker said:


> Stressed to the point of illness. Not sure what the hell is going on. Not feeling right physically. :no


I know the feeling. Stress can really take a toll on you physically. Try to do something about it before it gets worse. Rest, get out in the sun, eat healthy, meditate.


----------



## CNikki

Like crap.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

kesker said:


> Stressed to the point of illness. Not sure what the hell is going on. Not feeling right physically. :no


Try to not think of what is stressing you. Take a break from stressful things you are doing.



CNikki said:


> Like crap.


Sorry to hear. :hug


----------



## 3stacks

Tired, gotta get up early and I feel kinda sad too.


----------



## Great Expectations

momentsunset said:


> Bad. I don't know if it's my new medication making me feel this way or other reasons or a mix of everything.
> I feel less anxious but I feel sad. I dislike this world, I dislike my life "story". I know a lot, maybe too much about the human mind that every time I feel bad I over analyze why that is and can figure out the reason why a lot of the time but still can't always get myself out of it. I still have a tendency to do things that make myself feel worse because deep down I feel that I don't deserve to be happy. Ugh. I hate thinking so much, I hate being like this. It's funny because I bet just one day, one day and one conversation with a friend who understands how I feel could probably snap me out of this and make me feel better, but I don't even have that right now. Also the reality that some of my former friends would probably be happy if I died, makes me feel ****ty as well. Maybe dying isn't such a bad idea.


Sorry you're feeling this way. A few years ago, I was in a very dark suicidal rut when I came across a book
"feeling good" by David Burns....that book probably saved my life.

......I think I'm going to reread it. I'm in another rut again.


----------



## Suchness

momentsunset said:


> Bad. I don't know if it's my new medication making me feel this way or other reasons or a mix of everything.
> I feel less anxious but I feel sad. I dislike this world, I dislike my life "story". I know a lot, maybe too much about the human mind that every time I feel bad I over analyze why that is and can figure out the reason why a lot of the time but still can't always get myself out of it. I still have a tendency to do things that make myself feel worse because deep down I feel that I don't deserve to be happy. Ugh. I hate thinking so much, I hate being like this. It's funny because I bet just one day, one day and one conversation with a friend who understands how I feel could probably snap me out of this and make me feel better, but I don't even have that right now. Also the reality that some of my former friends and ex boyfriends would probably be happy if I died, makes me feel ****ty as well. Maybe dying isn't such a bad idea. Maybe I could make more people happy that way than living. I try to make so many people happy while here but it hardly ever works.


What I do is I always try to be hopeful and optimistic about the future no matter how bad things get and when I feel better I try to go into that feeling and build up on it. It keeps me in a state where I can keep moving forward.


----------



## momentsunset

Great Expectations said:


> Sorry you're feeling this way. A few years ago, I was in a very dark suicidal rut when I came across a book
> "feeling good" by David Burns....that book probably saved my life.
> 
> ......I think I'm going to reread it. I'm in another rut again.


Thank you. I almost forgot about books for a second. I should be reading more than I am lately, they usually help put me in a better mood. I don't think I've read that one, I will give it a try.
I hope it helps you out of your rut too.


----------



## funnynihilist

I find pretty much everything to be tedious now


----------



## momentsunset

Suchness said:


> What I do is I always try to be hopeful and optimistic about the future no matter how bad things get and when I feel better I try to go into that feeling and build up on it. It keeps me in a state where I can keep moving forward.


Same, it's just harder lately. Especially when I keep seeing how much the evil is praised in the world and the majority of the time the kind people are either hated, taken advantage of or just plain ignored. I've also experienced this.. the meaner I am, the more people like me. The kinder I am, the less they like me. It's backwards to me, I hate it.


----------



## discopotato

Overwhelmed.


----------



## riverbird

A bit drunk. It's masking the stress so that's nice.


----------



## Suchness

momentsunset said:


> Same, it's just harder lately. Especially when I keep seeing how much the evil is praised in the world and the majority of the time the kind people are either hated, taken advantage of or just plain ignored. I've also experienced this.. the meaner I am, the more people like me. The kinder I am, the less they like me. It's backwards to me, I hate it.


Remember that it will pass. These downs come and go.


----------



## komorikun

Tired from all the cooking and cleaning. Even to make simple things is time consuming. Maybe I should start using the dishwasher. And I'm coming down from being uber irritated and agitated. The landlord and cleaning lady being here irritated me. They kept going on the balcony which just feels so invasive, felt like they were in the same room with me. When someone walks up there it makes a huge thud and if they walk above my chandelier it rattles. 

I spaced out when I was in the middle of making the pesto with the old/soggy basil leaves I bought 2 weeks ago. I dumped the leaves in with parmesan cheese and lemon juice into the blender but then suddenly realized I hadn't washed the leaves yet. Duh. 

My dad is all irritated and agitated too. From taking care of the old bag and doing tons of laundry (she has many "accidents"). He was supposed to call me to tell me about my sister (who I'm still not talking to) but seemed to be occupied. She just moved apparently. From one weird situation to another weird situation. This time in a good area though, upper west side. She's still not working full-time.....

At least the pesto turned out pretty well. So did the mashed potatoes with corn and cauliflower chunks.


----------



## Suchness

Tired, I got about 4-5 hours sleep. I woke up at 6.30 am and couldn't fall asleep again. I just try not to put pressure on myself and take things slowly. Slow and steady wins the race.


----------



## Great Expectations

momentsunset said:


> Thank you. I almost forgot about books for a second. I should be reading more than I am lately, they usually help put me in a better mood. I don't think I've read that one, I will give it a try.
> I hope it helps you out of your rut too.


I always feel better after reading a good book (fiction is great too). But, that particular book is one of the 
best for dealing with depression.


----------



## Zatch

Nervous. Was nervous before. It's already over and I'm still nervous.

I just want things to be okay.


----------



## ShadowOne

slightly melancholy from solitude. worried about work tomorrow and not knowing what im doing..but people are going to expect answers i dont have. But more melancholy than stressed


----------



## 0589471

so tired. so useless. I wish I could just get out of this rut.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> so tired. so useless. I wish I could just get out of this rut.


Think positive, you will get out of this rut.


----------



## Suchness

I feel a little sad again, it comes and goes.


----------



## 0589471

Suchness said:


> I feel a little sad again, it comes and goes.


:squeeze


----------



## Suchness

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> :squeeze


:thanks


----------



## Lohikaarme

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> so tired. so useless. I wish I could just get out of this rut.


I came across this the other day... maybe there is a thing or two in it that could be of help to you


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Miserable.


----------



## 0589471

Lohikaarme said:


> I came across this the other day... maybe there is a thing or two in it that could be of help to you


Thanks Lohi!  :squeeze


----------



## SofaKing

Sorry, man.


iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Miserable.


----------



## Ekardy

I’m exhausted. I want to stop being a coward, find something real.

(Stupid cheesy romantic movies)


----------



## MorganMelancholy

I'm feeling good, my mum called me 'phalic-phobic' so I can't stop smiling. 😆


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Sorry, man.


Thanks.


----------



## Zatch

Grumpy. Payday tomorrow, can't come soon enough.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like a zombie.


----------



## mobc1990

Doing okay,not expecting anything


----------



## 3stacks

Like a fool


----------



## funnynihilist

Bored with life


----------



## harrison

Bit tired with a mild headache - but it's no big deal. Nice to have a day free to go to the city and do what I want.


----------



## 3stacks

Depressed


----------



## Suchness

3stacks said:


> Depressed


Did you make it back home?


----------



## 3stacks

Suchness said:


> Did you make it back home?


Yeah haha well to my grandads house to move some furniture cause he finally might be getting out of hospital


----------



## Suchness

3stacks said:


> Yeah haha well to my grandads house to move some furniture cause he finally might be getting out of hospital


Phew! Well, that's good then. Good luck with your grandpa.


----------



## harrison

Conflicted.


----------



## 3stacks

Suchness said:


> Phew! Well, that's good then. Good luck with your grandpa.


Thank ya


----------



## Lohikaarme

Massive headache


----------



## 0589471

My neck keeps breaking out in hives. Ugh.


----------



## kesker

Suchness said:


> I know the feeling. Stress can really take a toll on you physically. Try to do something about it before it gets worse. Rest, get out in the sun, eat healthy, meditate.


Thanks dude. Meditation is definitely at the top of my list of practices I want to develop. I've not been consistent in making it happen but I can see the potential benefit. In the meantime running is my go-to. Thanks again.


----------



## Tuan Jie

On the threshold of panic. Edit: took a cold shower, which helped a bit.


----------



## zonebox

Tired, too tired to write out my usual long winded posts.. well, actually, I guess I could write out a long winded post. Drove my family half an hour, drove back half an hour, was driven 2 1/2 hours, then drove back here which took 2 1/2 hours, now I have to drive another hour. I complain way too much, people do this crap all of the time for a living, I've always respected truck drivers for that. I for one, do not like driving a lot, I'll do it, but would rather not. I think it takes someone with a lot of patience, to drive around for so long.. to me, I get really agitated at other drivers.

I wrote out a long winded post earlier regarding what I was going to do today, then deleted it. I was worried it would somehow get back to relatives, because everyone seems to have SA now.. but basically, my day so far has consisted of moving people around, being moved around, then moving my mother in law's vehicle around :lol far from the worst day in my life, far from a bad day in most people's lives. 

But yeah, I'm tired.. the day is almost over, by the time I get back home, I'll probably play some games and then go to bed, only to spend another 5 1/2 hours in my car tomorrow. Hopefully, next year I will be able to actually get a job because I won't be needed to drive everyone around as often, something preferably with some healthcare. Most people think being unemployed and in my situation is fun, nah, I miss working 7 hours and just being done for the day, I miss being able to go out for walks, and of course, having some of my own spending money. The thing is, I'm basically tied up for most of the day, not that it is absolutely horrible, it is just very restricting. I liked my previous job, it was labor intensive, but after I was done, that was it, all that was left to do was clean the house and it was done.

See, I knew i could write out a long winded post over being tired. I think I tend to write so much, because I say so little.. this all could have just been summed up as "I'm tired"


----------



## discopotato

like a hideous potato


----------



## Ekardy

Feeling like an asteroid just orbiting in Space waiting to get that push to become as vibrant as a shooting star and collide with a friend.


----------



## harrison

Ekardy said:


> Feeling like an asteroid just orbiting in Space waiting to get that push to become as vibrant as a shooting star and collide with a friend.


Wow - you weren't kidding about the astronomy nerd thing were you.


----------



## Ekardy

harrison said:


> Wow - you weren't kidding about the astronomy nerd thing were you.


Haha I was not. :nerd:
I love astrophysics, one of my idols is Neil deGrasse Tyson. I studied some in college but stuck to computers.


----------



## harrison

Ekardy said:


> Haha I was not. :nerd:
> I love astrophysics, one of my idols is *Neil deGrasse Tyson*. I studied some in college but stuck to computers.


That's the guy that was in Melbourne fairly recently. I remember seeing his face plasted all over the side of the trams here. Would have been fun to see him but I had no idea who he was.

You're obviously very clever - that's great. Are you a programmer?

(my son is too btw - so you've already got that in common. ) 

(see? we just can't help it - it's terrible, I know)


----------



## Ekardy

harrison said:


> That's the guy that was in Melbourne fairly recently. I remember seeing his face plasted all over the side of the trams here. Would have been fun to see him but I had no idea who he was.
> 
> You're obviously very clever - that's great. Are you a programmer?
> 
> (my son is too btw - so you've already got that in common. )
> 
> (see? we just can't help it - it's terrible, I know)


He was here too but I wasn't able to get a ticket!
I live by the NASA Johnson Space Center in Texas so anytime they have astronauts giving lectures or presentations, I'm always there. I know it's "nerdy" to say but I really do love learning.

I'm a computer engineer but currently working as a programmer yes.

Haha you are sweet thank you


----------



## harrison

I'm actually feeling quite annoyed because these ridiculous politicians are still carrying on and they've obviously cancelled Antiques Roadshow to cover it. :roll


----------



## caelle

I finally qualified for a credit card!! I have been wanting one for awhile but never qualified. I need to build my credit. I'm too old to rely on my mom to cosign things for me. And her credit is bad anyway.

I hope to eventually qualify for a loan to get a car and maybe some other things. I'm really so excited..


----------



## harrison

Ekardy said:


> He was here too but I wasn't able to get a ticket!
> *I live by the NASA Johnson Space Center in Texas so anytime they have astronauts giving lectures or presentations, I'm always there. I know it's "nerdy" to say but I really do love learning.*
> 
> I'm a computer engineer but currently working as a programmer yes.
> 
> Haha you are sweet thank you


I've always loved learning too - I didn't start my degree until I was in my late 30's, finished it at about 42 I think. I wouldn't mind studying something else soon if I can find the time. My moods seem to have settled down a bit and I feel reasonably stable.

And that's exciting you live near NASA - it's amazing! I would go to their talks too if I lived there. Would be great fun.


----------



## momentsunset

Pretty good. I have so much to do so I better get started. I love having a lot of things to do, helps to keep me from overthinking about my problems.



C137 said:


> Deeply hurt and disappointed.


 What happened?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Drained.


----------



## EBecca

*B**o**R*e*D*


----------



## Vip3r

I have been very tired all day.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Amazed at how he remixed this song into a single, as like it was made in the 80's -






Pure talent right there. :O

I can tell you he will be big, one of these days in the future.


----------



## mellifluouseo

I'm envious of other people at my new school because they have a lot of friends while I barely have ome. I"m very quiet and shy person. I don't know how start conversations with people. I also feel lonely nowadays at school.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> I live by the NASA Johnson Space Center in Texas so anytime they have astronauts giving lectures or presentations, I'm always there. I know it's "nerdy" to say but I really do love learning.


Not sure if it interest's you, but NASA Launched a Super Pressure balloon downunder -






Also have rockets capable of reaching orbit -






NZ rocket, Australian satellites.


----------



## Ekardy

ANX1 said:


> Not sure if it interest's you, but NASA Launched a Super Pressure balloon downunder -
> 
> Also have rockets capable of reaching orbit -
> 
> NZ rocket, Australian satellites.


I heard of that! To detect cosmic particles in the atmosphere. :yes

Never saw that video of the rockets though, that's cool! Thank you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> I heard of that! To detect cosmic particles in the atmosphere. :yes
> 
> Never saw that video of the rockets though, that's cool! Thank you.


Ok. 

You're welcome. 

Actually I think it is more of a NZ / US rocket (I noticed some working on it have an American accent and they have a LA office as well).


----------



## Suchness

Ekardy said:


> I heard of that! To detect cosmic particles in the atmosphere. :yes
> 
> Never saw that video of the rockets though, that's cool! Thank you.


Did you now Neil deGrasse Tyson was on Joe Rogan's podcast a couple of days ago?


----------



## Ekardy

Suchness said:


> Did you now Neil deGrasse Tyson was on Joe Rogan's podcast a couple of days ago?


"Neurosurgery In 4 Easy Steps", I would definitely pick up that book.


----------



## Suchness

Ekardy said:


> "Neurosurgery In 4 Easy Steps", I would definitely pick up that book.


Was that meant for me? Lol, not sure what you mean by it.


----------



## Ekardy

Suchness said:


> Was that meant for me? Lol, not sure what you mean by it.


You and I...get lost in communication a lot. Lol
I did not mean it the way I think you took it. 
I meant, I (as in me) would buy that book because he was right, it's a good title to catch your attention like his books title, "Astrophysics for People in a Hurry".


----------



## Suchness

Ekardy said:


> You and I...get lost in communication a lot. Lol
> I did not mean it the way I think you took it.
> I meant, I (as in me) would buy that book because he was right, it's a good title to catch your attention like his books title, "Astrophysics for People in a Hurry".


Ahaaaaa! See, I only saw about 40 minutes of the podcast while it was live, I know he's one of your idols so I thought I would mention it.


----------



## Ekardy

Suchness said:


> Ahaaaaa! See, I only saw about 40 minutes of the podcast while it was live, I know he's one of your idols so I thought I would mention it.


Well thank you for thinking of me. :squeeze :high5


----------



## komorikun

Ah. So nice and cool tonight.


----------



## tea111red

Nervous
Alone


----------



## Lohikaarme




----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Nervous
> Alone


Sorry to hear.  :hug


----------



## Euripides




----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Feeling like I didn't sleep, even though I did. Maybe a shower will help.


----------



## momentsunset

C137 said:


> Woman I've been talking to and hanging with. We're just not compatible and it sucks to not be able to make it work. Both of us got a little immature with the squabbling. So it feels awful and at the same time ridiculous what we let it get to. Live and learn I suppose. This is the 1st person I've tried to have any relationship with. Unfortunately it crashed and burned. Why is meeting someone so difficult? Sigh.


Sorry to hear that. At least you recognize you're not right for each other and aren't trying to force it since sometimes people do that out of desperation. I know how that is, it's hard to not let yourself be immature especially when the other person is but yeah, live and learn. It might take a while to find that right person you're compatible with, hardly anyone gets it right on the first try. Just got to keep trying if it's something you really want.


----------



## Kevin001

Sore...hit legs for the first time in awhile.


----------



## 3stacks

I was feeling so depressed this morning and now I'm not completely sure what this feeling is, I've never felt this way but it's amazing


----------



## mt moyt

I just had my first hot shower in at least a month, and i feel like i'm in a hotel on holiday


----------



## momentsunset

I'm feeling really good. Attracting more of what I want into my life each day~



mt moyt said:


> I just had my first hot shower in at least a month, and i feel like i'm in a hotel on holiday


That's amazing. I know what it's like to go without a hot shower for a while, it's sooo satisfying once you get back in!


----------



## zonebox

I feel a sense of loss, memories flood my mind, only to remind me what is now forever gone. I've enough control over my mind to prevent those memories from surfacing, but I want to feel the sense of loss, to not do so seems as though it would be an injustice. So, I let them pass through me, striking at my soul, and I feel a tinge of love and loss, mixed into a very strange concoction, one that is painful yet comforting, when it gets to the point that I feel like I am going to lose control, I prevent the memories from surfacing for a while.

I would not call this depression, depression has no comfort in it, and loss is not a part of the equation when it comes to how I experience it. I can cast this feeling away, if I so choose to do so, with little effort - while depression clings and takes effort and time to come out of. 

My mother in law passed away this day, earlier in the morning. I have known her for 18 years, I can't write too much about it, because that is only an invitation to release more memories which will just lead me to fighting away tears. I'm going to miss her, I loved her, she could be a real pita at times, but she also struggled with mental illness so I never completely blamed her for being a pita. I could see through it and love her just the same. 


I think I'll have a few beers tonight, perhaps I'll let myself go a bit, and let the emotions run rampant for a while.


----------



## harrison

I feel slightly out of it - and a bit foggy. I increased my medication by only 300mg's and I can feel it. God that's strange.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> I feel slightly out of it - and a bit foggy. I increased my medication by only 300mg's and I can feel it. God that's strange.


Only THREE HUNDRED milligrams!? What meditation are you taking?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Moody. Depressed. Lonely.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> Only THREE HUNDRED milligrams!? What meditation are you taking?


Haha - Sodium Valproate, it's for bipolar disorder. I usually take 1200 but dropped it down to 700 for a bit because I felt it was making me tired. It's a funny drug - I think I adjust to it quickly so it's sort of hard to get an idea how I'm feeling on it. I wish I could just not take it at all. But when I've stopped it in the past I start doing silly things. (which my wife reminds me of later) :roll


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> Haha - Sodium Valproate, it's for bipolar disorder. I usually take 1200 but dropped it down to 700 for a bit because I felt it was making me tired. It's a funny drug - I think I adjust to it quickly so it's sort of hard to get an idea how I'm feeling on it. I wish I could just not take it at all. But when I've stopped it in the past I start doing silly things. (which my wife reminds me of later) :roll


I might have tried that. I used to take Serequel for mood and sleep. It would knock me out and I felt a little calmer in the morning but I had to stop because I was getting akathisia at higher doses and after my depression I couldnt tolerate meds I couldnt even tolerate benzos anymore, too many side effects, apparently depression can do that.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> I might have tried that. I used to take Serequel for mood and sleep. It would knock me out and I felt a little calmer in the morning but I had to stop because I was getting akathisia at higher doses and after my depression I couldnt tolerate meds I couldnt even tolerate benzos anymore, too many side effects, apparently depression can do that.


Yes, they tried me on Seroquel for a while too. It's used in lower doses for anxiety. I didn't like it - just knocks you out cold. I felt terrible for the whole next day too, really tired and out of it. Not my cup of tea at all.

What do you mean you can't even tolerate benzos? What happens when you take them?


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> Yes, they tried me on Seroquel for a while too. It's used in lower doses for anxiety. I didn't like it - just knocks you out cold. I felt terrible for the whole next day too, really tired and out of it. Not my cup of tea at all.
> 
> What do you mean you can't even tolerate benzos? What happens when you take them?


Yeah, I was on a lower dose first and then self medicated to a higher dose. Later on they put me on a higher does anyway, around 500mg.

Its hard to explain but it makes me feel worse. It messes with me mentally, emotionally and physically. Like the way i think and feel, its like the chemicals in my brain arent responding well to it. It just doesnt sit with me well.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> Yeah, I was on a lower dose first and then self medicated to a higher dose. Later on they put me on a higher does anyway, around 500mg.
> 
> *Its hard to explain but it makes me feel worse. It messes with me mentally, emotionally and physically. Like the way i think and feel, its like the chemicals in my brain arent responding well to it. It just doesnt sit with me well*.


It's interesting you say that mate. I was taking a tiny bit of Valium recently just prn - and it made me feel a bit odd too. It's like it even made me slightly down - even though I felt more calm. A very strange feeling.

That's a shame you can't take anything though - must make life a bit tricky.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> It's interesting you say that mate. I was taking a tiny bit of Valium recently just prn - and it made me feel a bit odd too. It's like it even made me slightly down - even though I felt more calm. A very strange feeling.
> 
> That's a shame you can't take anything though - must make life a bit tricky.


Oh, only a little bit tricky.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> Oh, only a little bit tricky.


 Good to hear that mate.


----------



## komorikun

I feel like I died and came back to life. I did the uphill walk to this little supermarket I rarely go to. It's a scenic walk, lots of nice houses and pretty trees, but OMG. I nearly had a heart attack walking up that hill. I had to stop a few times. I did pet* TWO* kitties!! A female tortie (super duper friendly) that I've pet a couple times before and a new male orange kitty.

1.3 miles each way. About the same distance as the booze store/pet shop from my house. But that walk is soooo much easier since it's pretty much flat the entire way. The booze store walk isn't scenic- it's all on 2 big, ugly thoroughfares.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

komorikun said:


> I feel like I died and came back to life. I did the uphill walk to this little supermarket I rarely go to. It's a scenic walk, lots of nice houses and pretty trees, but OMG. I nearly had a heart attack walking up that hill. I had to stop a few times. I did pet* TWO* kitties!! A female tortie (super duper friendly) that I've pet a couple times before and a new male orange kitty.
> 
> 1.3 miles each way. About the same distance as the booze store/pet shop from my house. But that walk is soooo much easier since it's pretty much flat the entire way. The booze store walk isn't scenic- it's all on 2 big, ugly thoroughfares.


It sounds like a good day, as pet two kitties (hopefully it made you feel better), walked past nice houses, pretty trees, etc. 

Sometimes happens when haven't done a lot of exercise in a while. You might feel sore afterwards.

If worried, can get one of those portable pulse / heart monitors that put on end of finger (similar to what hospitals use), like from like ebay. Quite cheap.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel really lonely. I miss being able to go into a chatroom and just start talking to any random person. I always wished I could find a chatroom that I could type in my city and state, and find people right where I live. In all the years I've been online I've never found anything that worked well for me. Not dating sites and not even facebook.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

I_Exist said:


> I feel really lonely. I miss being able to go into a chatroom and just start talking to any random person. I always wished I could find a chatroom that I could type in my city and state, and find people right where I live. In all the years I've been online I've never found anything that worked well for me. Not dating sites and not even facebook.


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## Suchness

I_Exist said:


> I feel really lonely. I miss being able to go into a chatroom and just start talking to any random person. I always wished I could find a chatroom that I could type in my city and state, and find people right where I live. In all the years I've been online I've never found anything that worked well for me. Not dating sites and not even facebook.


Make chat great again!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

:yes :grin2:


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit bored, a bit restless, a bit out of it


----------



## The Linux Guy

ANX1 said:


> Sorry to hear mate.





Suchness said:


> Make chat great again!


Due to the way things have been over the course of the last several years... It's been really hard to make myself randomly IM people even here. Because my experience has been almost completely negative.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Canadian Brotha said:


> A bit bored, a bit restless, a bit out of it


Sorry to hear mate. 



I_Exist said:


> Due to the way things have been over the course of the last several years... It's been really hard to make myself randomly IM people even here. Because my experience has been almost completely negative.


----------



## Zatch

Exhausted. Ready to leave. Didn't get enough to sleep to do both shifts, but hell. Get to leave earlier and have more time to myself.

Might not matter if I spend it all sleeping. Supposed to be video chatting with a friend too.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bitter.


----------



## SofaKing

Buzzed...sadly...being sober is becoming less desirable.


----------



## JerryAndSports

Dissapointed


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

D. Runk.


----------



## Suchness

This is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel, this is how I feel


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

alienbird said:


> Sad that the outdoor kitten I watched over disappeared. I hope the little guy is still alive...
> 
> It wasn't my cat, but I don't like that he vanished. Worried about what happened. There is a mean cat in our neighborhood hurting the other outdoor cats, so I wonder about if he hurt him.


Some cats love to hide under things like houses, trailers, boats, tables, etc (if another cat is involved and in his area). Sometimes find them in bath or shower if inside.

I hope that he will turn up and be ok.


----------



## EarthDominator

Don't deserve to be alive.


----------



## Deaf Mute

I hate this feeling of lack of control... I wish I could just fast forward to the good parts of life already (if there is any..), tomorrow is gonna suck.


----------



## Vip3r

Feeling anxious today, but I am trying to push through it.


----------



## 3stacks

Kinda depressed it's just one of those days where I feel down and have no energy for no reason


----------



## momentsunset

Amazing. I slept so good last night. I love when that happens.



EarthDominator said:


> Don't deserve to be alive.


You do though. Hope you're feeling better since you posted this.


----------



## The Linux Guy

More Sad then I did before I logged into this website.


----------



## Zatch

Overworked. I hope it's all worth it. I've been trying my best and feeling like death.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Very anxious.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Ayushi7

Mixed emotions.
Bored af, can't do anything about it. Lol,i don't even have any emotions left in me i guess.


----------



## tea111red

The road to feeling worse is probably being paved...


----------



## EarthDominator

momentsunset said:


> Amazing. I slept so good last night. I love when that happens.
> 
> You do though. Hope you're feeling better since you posted this.


I don't, trust me. The sooner, the better.


----------



## SplendidBob

Suddenly quite depressed since last night. Realised how long it is since I actually spoke to someone in real life, and how I have stopped progressing and seem to be pretty isolated again.


----------



## harrison

I hate that I often feel more worried about my phsyical health now than my mental health. (and that's saying something) I often have days where I feel really tired and also very light-headed. It's a horrible feeling and makes you feel like you can't do anything. Getting older is a real pain.

I should probably see the doctor and have some blood tests.


----------



## harrison

BeardedMessiahBob said:


> Suddenly quite depressed since last night. Realised how long it is since I actually spoke to someone in real life, and how I have stopped progressing and seem to be pretty isolated again.


Sorry to hear that Bob. Are you still going to the gym a lot? Is there anyone there you can have a chat to?


----------



## SplendidBob

harrison said:


> Sorry to hear that Bob. Are you still going to the gym a lot? Is there anyone there you can have a chat to?


Thanks Don. Bit chirpier now, had a nice chat to someone on skype which cheered me up, popped a modafinil and got on with some stuff I had been avoiding. Avoiding stuff not only worsens anxiety, but it worsens my mood. If I am feeling low, then its usually a case of me not doing what deep down I know I should be doing.


----------



## Yer Blues

The usual, like shi*.


----------



## zonebox

I made the mistake of reading the comments on a yahoo news article.

Faith in humanity
0======================100
▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒​
Oh social media, you miserable, miserable thing.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pretty bad. My mouth is sore from my dental appointment. Plus the usual depression and loneliness that never goes away for any length of time.


----------



## 0589471

twytarn said:


> Pretty bad. My mouth is sore from my dental appointment. Plus the usual depression and loneliness that never goes away for any length of time.


:squeeze I'd be that annoying friend in real life who'd bring you snacks and be like want to watch movies twytarn and you'd be like I thought I put a restraining order on you stop randomly showing up at my house. *accepts milkshake and slams door on me*


----------



## SamanthaStrange

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> :squeeze I'd be that annoying friend in real life who'd bring you snacks and be like want to watch movies twytarn and you'd be like I thought I put a restraining order on you stop randomly showing up at my house. *accepts milkshake and slams door on me*












JK, lol. That's really sweet, thank you. :squeeze


----------



## The Library of Emma

Can't find the "post your mood as a picture" thread... good enough.


----------



## MorganMelancholy

I went to a GP about my anxiety and depression and after everything I said she's like "well it sounds like you have social anxiety" and me being the awkward lil **** I am was like "oh, wow really?" She's going to send me the the phycology part of the building after I have some blood tests done.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Depressed and isolated. I miss her. She's all I ever had and I can't get over it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Depressed and isolated. I miss her. She's all I ever had and I can't get over it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, stressed.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

ANX1 said:


> Tired, stressed.


:frown2:


----------



## Ekardy

ANX1 said:


> Tired, stressed.


:hug


----------



## Vip3r

I feel so tired today. I think I will go buy an ice coffee and see if that helps wake me up.


----------



## harrison

I'm fine - except I can't believe how many headaches I get when I try to lower this medication.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> :frown2:


Thank you. 

I worry if you are ok. 



Ekardy said:


> :hug


Thank you. 



Vip3r said:


> I feel so tired today. I think I will go buy an ice coffee and see if that helps wake me up.


Breathing in and out fully can help to wake you up. I noticed that normally go into sleep mode if breathe a certain way (not enough air).



harrison said:


> I'm fine - except I can't believe how many headaches I get when I try to lower this medication.


Side effects can get worse when lower dosage of drugs (well known). Sometimes need other drugs to adjust for side effects when change dosage.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Side effects can get worse when lower dosage of drugs (well known). Sometimes need other drugs to adjust for side effects when change dosage.


Yeah, this stuff stops migraines as well - so when I lower it or stop it they come back. (plus the mania probably but I'll worry about that later)

It makes me tired and groggy - and I'd like to see how I am without for a while. My wife's not real happy about that though.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yeah, this stuff stops migraines as well - so when I lower it or stop it they come back. (plus the mania probably but I'll worry about that later)
> 
> It makes me tired and groggy - and I'd like to see how I am without for a while. My wife's not real happy about that though.


Oh, ok. That makes sense.

:sigh


----------



## tea111red

:eyes

....after l m a o.

:cig


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> :eyes
> 
> ....after l m a o.
> 
> :cig


Like what is going on above my post. :sus  :grin2:


----------



## mobc1990

Not energize


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Like I'm listening to angels -


----------



## Deaf Mute

She's the only one that's touched me so deeply, or well shattered me to tears, I wish I could feel the same freedom she did. She was so free...


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely and worthless. But it's my fault and I deserve it.


----------



## Vip3r

ANX1 said:


> Breathing in and out fully can help to wake you up. I noticed that normally go into sleep mode if breathe a certain way (not enough air).


Thanks, I will try that next time.


----------



## zonebox

Feeling a bit of a natural high right now, I love these moments. It is just a sensation of peacefulness and love, that usually lasts a few minutes then subsides away. I induced the sensation, while examining my emotions and coming to the conclusion that I have been getting judgmental, and then pushing myself to let go of such a way of thinking. It is not necessary, not for survival at any rate, all it really does is hinder me, making me feel bitter and resentful. Of course, I don't know how long I can maintain such mindfulness before I resume such a way of thinking, that facilitates judgement, but if I could have it my way I would remain in this frame of mind forever. I am going to make it a point, to push such a judgmental frame of mind away though, because this is a pretty sweet way to be feeling.

It should be easy enough to do, I've done it before for feelings of jealousy, and other sensations I found to be a detriment to my life. I wonder if such a natural high could be sustainable for longer periods of time, I'm willing to give it a shot. If nothing else, it will probably just offer a more peaceful state of mind regardless, if I do not occupy my mind so much with such things as judging others. Not to say I am an incredibly judgmental person to begin with, but it is definitely there enough to have an impact on me. 

Plus, I don't want to grow into a bitter old person, that is always angry at others. I don't want to be the person waving my fists in the air at young whippersnappers :lol I would rather be an old hippy, still appreciating the world.


----------



## 3stacks

Bored. Hoping I'll get to see my friends today idk


----------



## SofaKing

I don't think I'm truly BPD, but I do have swing pretty rapidly between being in a good mood and having a generally more positive outlook and being triggered into a bad mood where I feel a bit hopeless. It's intentional, i.e. triggers both ways and doesn't just happen without warning or explanation.

At the moment, I'm feeling a lot more optimistic than I've been, but I'm waiting for the next triggering downer, sadly. It'll happen.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> I don't think I'm truly BPD, but I do have swing pretty rapidly between being in a good mood and having a generally more positive outlook and being triggered into a bad mood where I feel a bit hopeless. It's intentional, i.e. triggers both ways and doesn't just happen without warning or explanation.
> 
> At the moment, I'm feeling a lot more optimistic than I've been, but I'm waiting for the next triggering downer, sadly. It'll happen.


You mean Bipolar?


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> SofaKing said:
> 
> 
> 
> I don't think I'm truly BPD, but I do have swing pretty rapidly between being in a good mood and having a generally more positive outlook and being triggered into a bad mood where I feel a bit hopeless. It's intentional, i.e. triggers both ways and doesn't just happen without warning or explanation.
> 
> At the moment, I'm feeling a lot more optimistic than I've been, but I'm waiting for the next triggering downer, sadly. It'll happen.
> 
> 
> 
> You mean Bipolar?
Click to expand...

 BPD is borderline personality disorder I think


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> BPD is borderline personality disorder I think


Yes. :frown2:


----------



## SofaKing

Pete Beale said:


> You mean Bipolar?





3stacks said:


> BPD is borderline personality disorder I think


Yes, sorry...bipolar.


----------



## CNikki

SofaKing said:


> I don't think I'm truly BPD, but I do have swing pretty rapidly between being in a good mood and having a generally more positive outlook and being triggered into a bad mood where I feel a bit hopeless. It's intentional, i.e. triggers both ways and doesn't just happen without warning or explanation.
> 
> At the moment, I'm feeling a lot more optimistic than I've been, but I'm waiting for the next triggering downer, sadly. It'll happen.


Bipolar is a bit hard to diagnose since it takes more than mood swings for doctors to diagnose it - add that to other external factors such as family history, medication intakes, lifestyle choices, etc. For many it takes years until they finally have one.

I definitely hear what you are saying. I would suggest to seek further, especially if you are diagnosed with depression and take antidepressants. Many cases are found out that way.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Lonely and worthless. But it's my fault and I deserve it.


:hug



Vip3r said:


> Thanks, I will try that next time.


You're welcome. 

Ok.


----------



## CaptainBoz

Never posted on this thread. Just a vent.

Greatly because of my anxiety and decreasing ability to function in certain situations, I find myself at home most of the time. I am married and have kids who are now teens. One of my issues is letting go of things. I have hoarding tendencies, but I will rid myself of certain things that have lost their usefulness or have broken, so I'm not completely insane. I'm just saying that you don't walk on garbage in our home, and I gladly remove trash and recycling every trash day. That said, I like to keep things that have memories attached to them. The specific things have me upset today are my son's things. A few weeks ago, my wife went through my son's room and gathered all his baby and young clothes and toys and bagged them up to be donated to charity. I generally will go back through things before they go out the door and if there's anything I'd like to hold on to, I'll pull it out and keep it in an area I made for myself in the attic (I put in storage shelves and the like, its not like I just toss things in piles).

So weekend before last, I was out for the day with my brother (we do this yearly on the weekend that would have been my dad's birthday...when he was alive he would be with us, we just kept doing it after he died.) My wife decided to take everything that she took from my son's room, and get rid of it. I guess she figures I'll not realize what she did. I know she does stuff like this in a small way, and then pretends that she doesn't throw my things away. I know I can't trust her. I've found many of my things in the trash. I know she doesn't respect me.

I'm so easy going, I usually let it go, and just drag the stuff out of the donation bag or garbage. (She throws away my mail and magazines.) I'll admit that I'm not easy to be with. I don't think I'm 100% right or 100% wrong, and neither is she.

I'm so upset because I know there were things I wanted to keep in what she threw out. After I die, I don't care what she does with things, some things give me comfort and memories, and I would've taken most all of the stuff to the charity collection. I didn't get that chance.

When I was a kid, I had an autistic brother and for whatever reason, he knew how to upset me. He would get in my room and tear up my things. I had a little TV my parents had bought me, so he pushed it off the table and broke it. He would get into my books and tear pages out, or mark on everything. He would open bottles and pour out whatever was in them. My dad would tell me that one day I would look back on all that and laugh. I was embarrassed by my brother. I had to keep my room locked, but if I slipped up just once and left it open, he would go in and tear something up. I never laughed.

My rant is becoming long, but today when I figured out what happened, I did a small passive-aggressive thing to her. Last weekend I wanted to rearrange the living room so I could put in a surround sound system with the TV. That was fine, but when I was done, she decided she wanted to move the rug from the dining room to the living room. I said no, that I didn't want that. The rug was in the living room before, and we decided to move it to the dining room, where I think it's been fine for years. She knows how to manipulate me, so she starts moving furniture herself...she'll usually break something or dent or scratch things in the process, "I don't care...I'm doing it" she'll say, so eventually I'll give in and help to minimize breakage/damage.

So I put the rug back in the dining room today. (I feel pathetic saying this. I'm just a Caspar Milquetoast.) I'll confront her with the fact that she went behind my back, but she'll win the argument and she won the battle cause she got to trash those things. The thing is that I really hate that rug.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I've had an half hour therapy session, over an hour with a mental health worker, and now I've been refered back to my GP for meds so I can see a psychiatrist. All pointless. No amount of talking to anyone or toxic meds will help me, but I alway's knew this, which is why I never bothered with help for my issues. People say that mental health services suck, but I never expected anyone to be able to help me. What do people expect mental health services to do? You're on your own! 

What I need is someone who accepts me for me and gives me some good company. I need what I had with her when she was being great to me and let me into her life. 

Just to be liked and wanted by someone is enough. Everything else is bull**** and a waste of time. Everyones obsessed with careers and material crap, and none of it makes you happy. 

I'd be fine if I had someone to have a laugh with again. I couldn't give a **** about anything else, but I have to make myself more ill forcing myself into the rat race again to not be lonely it seems. 

I should just relive all the wonderful times I had with her through media, get drunk and shoot a bag of heroin into my arm, because I have no idea what to do. Those were the only happy times I've ever had, and now I'm ****ed. Everything has been reset back to 8-9 years ago, apart from my horrible, actual age.


----------



## Ai

Not well at all. Have been pretty much bed-ridden since Monday, have felt terrible since Saturday. I wish I knew why the hell I'm like this.

I'm tired in so many different ways...



CaptainBoz said:


> I generally will go back through things before they go out the door and if there's anything I'd like to hold on to, I'll pull it out and keep it in an area I made for myself in the attic (I put in storage shelves and the like, its not like I just toss things in piles).


I have this same problem. I am a ridiculously sentimental person and I tend to hold on to things that, by most people's standards, seem fairly ridiculous. My boyfriend... is not. He semi-recently tossed an entire box full of things from his childhood that his parents dropped off when they sold their house. Hardly batted an eye.

I have a bad feeling there will be a lot of similar contention if/when we start living together. Heh.

Just out of curiosity, do you actually interact with these items again after packing them away to relive the memories attached to them, or is it just more of a comfort mechanism knowing that they're there?



> So I put the rug back in the dining room today. (I feel pathetic saying this. I'm just a Caspar Milquetoast.) I'll confront her with the fact that she went behind my back, but she'll win the argument and she won the battle cause she got to trash those things. The thing is that I really hate that rug.


:lol You're a better person than I. The spiteful villain in the back of my head immediately cackled "trash the rug!"

Your marriage is probably a lot healthier for not doing what I would do.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Lonely. Hungry. Sad. Alone.

Same shiit as usual.


----------



## CaptainBoz

Ai said:


> Not well at all. Have been pretty much bed-ridden since Monday, have felt terrible since Saturday. I wish I knew why the hell I'm like this.
> 
> I'm tired in so many different ways...
> 
> I have this same problem. I am a ridiculously sentimental person and I tend to hold on to things that, by most people's standards, seem fairly ridiculous. My boyfriend... is not. He semi-recently tossed an entire box full of things from his childhood that his parents dropped off when they sold their house. Hardly batted an eye.
> 
> I have a bad feeling there will be a lot of similar contention if/when we start living together. Heh.
> 
> Just out of curiosity, do you actually interact with these items again after packing them away to relive the memories attached to them, or is it just more of a comfort mechanism knowing that they're there?


Mostly knowing that they are there. However, I do find myself going in there to get something and I'll take a few minutes and look at the things. I could do better. I did take a bunch of my old clothes to donate and even sold some of my daughter's old baby clothes to a used clothes store. I'm just more sentimental, so I will hang onto things like my kids' class T-shirt or a soccer jersey. My wife gladly tosses everything that doesn't fit anymore.



> :lol You're a better person than I. The spiteful villain in the back of my head immediately cackled "trash the rug!"
> 
> Your marriage is probably a lot healthier for not doing what I would do.


You pick your battles. While I am never short on advice, I am not an expert at relationships by any means.


----------



## CNikki

Lately it's been going in so many directions that at this point I don't really feel much of anything.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Kinda drunk but still bored. Oh well.


----------



## CAMKY89

depressed, concerned, unsure. Some combination of these 3 at any given time.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely when listening to this song -


----------



## Crisigv

Tired and hopeless. I'm done. I'm getting closer and closer.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Tired and hopeless. I'm done. I'm getting closer and closer.


Please no. :hug


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lifes **** if you're not healthy and rich, handsome or a genius. Personality means nothing if you have none of those things.


----------



## Zatch

Ambivalent. If I take this cookie now, one day I'll do the time. The answer should be obvious for me but the cookie isn't gonna disappear just because I stop looking at it.

I need help. At least I know where to start looking for it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Lifes **** if you're not healthy and rich, handsome or a genius. Personality means nothing if you have none of those things.


I believe just hanging out in nature and loving animals is the best thing about life. Animals don't judge you on looks, materialistic things, etc. They love you for your personality, kindness, etc.

We sometimes get caught up in the materialistic, visual things that skew how we see what life should be.

If that makes any sense. :sus :stu


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

ANX1 said:


> I believe just hanging out in nature and loving animals is the best thing about life. Animals don't judge you on looks, materialistic things, etc. They love you for your personality, kindness, etc.
> 
> We sometimes get caught up in the materialistic, visual things that skew how we see what life should be.
> 
> If that makes any sense. :sus :stu


I can't enjoy **** anymore tbh mate. I used to love nature, but now I can't enjoy anything. An animals love is no where near enough either. I need the love of a human who understands. I don't care about material stuff either. I wish I had her back to enjoy the mountains, zoo's, aquariums, parks etc, again, and her three cat's. All the outdoors stuff I enjoyed with her, I cannot enjoy anymore, so I just sit here doing nothing.

I spent my whole life with no one until she came along, and now I can't find anyone to replace her or enjoy things on my own.

I think being a loner for so many years, then getting involved with a much younger woman is dangerous. What am I supposed to do now? I can't get that back and that's all I ever had. I've ****ed up. Really ****ed up. I should have just given up with people years ago and remained a loner.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> I can't enjoy **** anymore tbh mate. I used to love nature, but now I can't enjoy anything. An animals love is no where near enough either. I need the love of a human who understands. I don't care about material stuff either. I wish I had her back to enjoy the mountains, zoo's, aquariums, parks etc, again, and her three cat's. All the outdoors stuff I enjoyed with her, I cannot enjoy anymore, so I just sit here doing nothing.
> 
> I spent my whole life with no one until she came along, and now I can't find anyone to replace her or enjoy things on my own.
> 
> I think being a loner for so many years, then getting involved with a much younger woman is dangerous. What am I supposed to do now? I can't get that back and that's all I ever had. I've ****ed up. Really ****ed up. I should have just given up with people years ago and remained a loner.


I know those feelings mate, as been there before with someone I liked.

Doing nothing is the worst thing you can do with depression. You need to force yourself to do things you loved again.

Lack of human interaction is not good for you. You may feel nervous, unsettled at first when trying to interact with people again. But you need to face these things stopping you, overcome them.

Interacting with people no matter how much it hurts can sometimes bring happiness due to some kind people out there who smile, check on you, etc.

It starts with you and the will to overcome them.


----------



## Quietguy86

Like someone is setting fire to my throat, haven't felt this way in a really long time. Feeling weak too been sleeping enough, made myself eat some soup so I'm trying to get back my strength. Finally some peace and quite too, have a house guest but he's gone away for now so have some freedom.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

ANX1 said:


> I know those feelings mate, as been there before with someone I liked.
> 
> Doing nothing is the worst thing you can do with depression. You need to force yourself to do things you loved again.
> 
> Lack of human interaction is not good for you. You may feel nervous, unsettled at first when trying to interact with people again. But you need to face these things stopping you, overcome them.
> 
> Interacting with people no matter how much it hurts can sometimes bring happiness due to some kind people out there who smile, check on you, etc.
> 
> It starts with you and the will to overcome them.


I've tried doing meets, but it's not working. I don't even feel anxious at these meets most of the time. There's just a lack of interest and connection, which is something I absolutely did not suffer from with her. I invested so much time and energy into her, and everyone else pales in comparison.

I've tried doing things on my own that I used to enjoy as well, and I just can't. I literally don't know wtf to do anymore and would probably top myself if it weren't for my folks. I've lost a lot of hope when I lost her and am forced to face a reality I can't face. No idea what to do. I'm back to being the way I was years ago and it's not good.


----------



## 3stacks

Exhausted. I haven't slept at all and I've been at the hospital all day plus I lost the best person I will ever met. I always seem to push away the people I love the most


----------



## Ekardy

Have been a vegetarian for a week. Feels like old times.
Despite the heartbreak yesterday and going to a dark place...I cried, I slept, and now I’m trying to stay positive. I’m not going to let it affect me like old times.
I’m doing meditation and yoga, eating better, and focusing on hobbies outside of work
So for now...I feel okay. 
Now the next step would hopefully be having a conversation with one of the neighbors..(T_T) eh.


----------



## Suchness

Ekardy said:


> Have been a vegetarian for a week. Feels like old times.
> 
> Despite the heartbreak yesterday and going to a dark place...I cried, I slept, and now I'm trying to stay positive. I'm not going to let it affect me like old times.
> 
> I'm doing meditation and yoga, eating better, and focusing on hobbies outside of work
> 
> So for now...I feel okay.
> 
> Now the next step would hopefully be having a conversation with one of the neighbors..(T_T) eh.


You can practice on my neighbour, she loves to talk. Tell her youre my friend so I dont have to talk to her.


----------



## Ekardy

Suchness said:


> You can practice on my neighbour, she loves to talk. Tell her youre my friend so I dont have to talk to her.


Is this the same little old lady you've mentioned before? She sounded like the kind of neighbor that would knock on your door and bring you cookies......I'm in!
Just give me a few thousand miles and a few hours and I'll go say hello to her.


----------



## CNikki

Incompetent, numb, doubtful, hurt.


----------



## homebodyftw

Really insecure. It’s like I need someone to keep on telling me that everything will be okay even though I’ll just convince myself otherwise. I hate being so anxious.


----------



## The Library of Emma

I don't like myself very much.










Tired of it all...


----------



## Suchness

Ekardy said:


> Is this the same little old lady you've mentioned before? She sounded like the kind of neighbor that would knock on your door and bring you cookies......I'm in!
> 
> Just give me a few thousand miles and a few hours and I'll go say hello to her.


Yeah, its the same one. She was wearing a Michael Jackson shirt today.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> Yeah, its the same one. *She was wearing a Michael Jackson shirt today*.


She sounds pretty groovy to me mate.


----------



## Kevin001

Got a headache


----------



## Ekardy

Suchness said:


> Yeah, its the same one. She was wearing a Michael Jackson shirt today.


Now if she moonwalks....I will adopt her as my granny.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Awake and drowsy at the same time. Not a fun feeling. Also, my chest is congested. I'm not sick, it's just from smoking. I'm feeling like 3/10 physically and 2/10 mentally.


----------



## andretti

Not good . Like i ate to much food today I feel so obese and bad. Ive been eating really clean lately and had a big cheat day. Not worth it. 
Can't wait to hit the gym tomorrow morning


----------



## callmeSong

I'm feeling like no one is out there for me.
Like the whole world is on another time zone and they're all asleep. Or maybe no just gives two shoes for me.


----------



## Deaf Mute

I hate how my past has to suck and be so ****... I honestly wish I didn't go to school and didn't know anyone or interact with anyone until I was an adult. I didn't think it would psychologically affect me as much tbh, but it is right now lmfao, I can feel it in my stomach. :blank

Why does everything have to be ugly, and everyone in my proximity not know beauty and organization and elegance. It's pissing me off, I have to do so much just to repel this ugliness and make up for the past... I hate being a perfectionist, idealist and artistic. =.=

I either want to be perfect/close to perfect in my own way, or destroyed and not existing... instead I've been **** on with all this wretchedness. Honestly, why are people so ****ing stupid, and why does it have to run in the family. 

Why couldn't I just come from some modest, humble and neat, elegant family with logic and value?

It's so stupid, sometimes I teach kids and just facepalm, their whole family structure is literally designed for failure... like wtf. You can't achieve anything without consistency, and it has to be consistency of good quality... not bad quality.


----------



## Equine24

I feel like a complete loser; an uninteresting waste of space with zero friends and zero family with no one but me and my constant thoughts I could write an entire book of and still continue sequels of it. I feel completely bored of what life is about. It's the same day to me every day and I feel so old like I've lived a pointless life and knowing if I wasn't alive one day, no one would notice. I realize people say I do matter just to say it without any truth and because it's the socially-acceptable way when really it does nothing. I feel like a number amongst billions with next to none importance whatsoever that was unlucky to even feel slightly loved by any being, from birth onward. I feel like the human race is a selfish and ultimately evil species full of deceit to profit ones own desire and to hell with anyone else under a two-faced mask.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Sad.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Amazed at his vocals -






Wow. :O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> I've tried doing meets, but it's not working. I don't even feel anxious at these meets most of the time. There's just a lack of interest and connection, which is something I absolutely did not suffer from with her. I invested so much time and energy into her, and everyone else pales in comparison.
> 
> I've tried doing things on my own that I used to enjoy as well, and I just can't. I literally don't know wtf to do anymore and would probably top myself if it weren't for my folks. I've lost a lot of hope when I lost her and am forced to face a reality I can't face. No idea what to do. I'm back to being the way I was years ago and it's not good.


 :sigh


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Stressed, tired and feel alone after watching this -






:crying:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

geraltofrivia said:


> Sad.


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Stressed, tired and feel alone after watching this -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :crying:


That's a nice song mate - that guy can really sing.

And don't worry - there'll be someone for you too.

Edit: also, check out the guitar work on this track.  (you can't feel sad listening to Santana mate)


----------



## harrison

Ekardy said:


> Now if she moonwalks....I will adopt her as my granny.


If she can moonwalk I'll fly over and take her out for a drink. :O


----------



## girlyone1

Feeling ok. Still mad I told my crush stupid ****.


----------



## discopotato

invisible


----------



## SplendidBob

Was very uncomfortable, abdominal pain earlier. I think my menstrual cycle finally started.


----------



## EarthDominator

Guilty, low-spirited and not in place.

But I finally made a plan to undertake one of my problems, which won't be easy but it's better than doing nothing.


----------



## girlyone1

BeardedMessiahBob said:


> Was very uncomfortable, abdominal pain earlier. I think my menstrual cycle finally started.


&#128558; I thought you were a guy.


----------



## In a Lonely Place

girlyone1 said:


> &#128558; I thought you were a guy.


She is.


----------



## Paper Samurai

girlyone1 said:


> &#128558; I thought you were a guy.


 You didn't know? I thought it was common knowledge that Bob came from a long line of attractive bearded ladies.


----------



## SplendidBob

girlyone1 said:


> &#128558; I thought you were a guy.


Oh I am, I just assumed that men eventually had a menstrual cycle if they waited long enough (I am really old now ).


----------



## roxslide

Feeling really down and out of sorts the past few days. Just have a heavy feeling in my stomach but also like my head is weightless.

Possibly pms? Not sure. I don't really get major pms though, but silly to rule it out


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Sad because I only have four beer left. Happy, for other reasons.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Numb.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

BeardedMessiahBob said:


> Was very uncomfortable, abdominal pain earlier. I think my menstrual cycle finally started.





BeardedMessiahBob said:


> Oh I am, I just assumed that men eventually had a menstrual cycle if they waited long enough (I am really old now ).


did you know this is a thing? (vaguely related):

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Couvade_syndrome

https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/xyeb3d/when-men-can-feel-your-period-pain


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> That's a nice song mate - that guy can really sing.
> 
> And don't worry - there'll be someone for you too.
> 
> Edit: also, check out the guitar work on this track.  (you can't feel sad listening to Santana mate)


 Thank you for the kind words, video clip mate. 

They say this woman below wrote that song for him which I posted and sung backing vocals in his song (can sort of hear her sweet voice in the back of his song) -






Santana is a good guitar player, thank you for sharing that video clip.


----------



## harrison

Persephone The Dread said:


> did you know this is a thing? (vaguely related):
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Couvade_syndrome
> *
> https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/xyeb3d/when-men-can-feel-your-period-pain*


I'm not sure if I was getting my period or not but I've definitely cried during a Hugh Grant film.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Thank you for the kind words, video clip mate.
> 
> They say this woman below wrote that song for him which I posted and sung backing vocals in his song (can sort of hear her sweet voice in the back of his song) -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Santana is a good guitar player, thank you for sharing that video clip.


That's okay mate - hope you're feeling a bit better today, and hope you have a nice weekend.


----------



## SplendidBob

Persephone The Dread said:


> did you know this is a thing? (vaguely related):
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Couvade_syndrome
> 
> https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/xyeb3d/when-men-can-feel-your-period-pain


Hmm. Could be that.

I think those hot and spicy chicken wings (I ate a lot last night) open up the mind for psychic connections for sympathetic periods.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

harrison said:


> I'm not sure if I was getting my period or not but I've definitely cried during a Hugh Grant film.


Haha ironically he's one of those actors I really don't like not sure why maybe because I'm from the UK and he's some kind of annoying archetype? (but I think newer British Hollywood actors are better so dunno.) I like Love Actually though (which he happens to be in, but balanced out by actors I like(d) more.)



BeardedMessiahBob said:


> Hmm. Could be that.
> 
> I think those hot and spicy chicken wings (I ate a lot last night) open up the mind for psychic connections for sympathetic periods.


Could be, a lot of food is conducive to psychic experiences that way. If you'd used lemon it might have been even worse.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> That's okay mate - hope you're feeling a bit better today, and hope you have a nice weekend.


Sleep helped.

Thank you for your kind words mate. 

I hope you have a nice weekend too mate. 

In addition, chilling to this song, The Midnight - Bend on Youtube.

Then some hard yakka to come after that, while facing anxiety head on.


----------



## SplendidBob

Persephone The Dread said:


> Haha ironically he's one of those actors I really don't like not sure why maybe because I'm from the UK and he's some kind of annoying archetype? (but I think newer British Hollywood actors are better so dunno.) I like Love Actually though (which he happens to be in, but balanced out by actors I like(d) more.)
> 
> Could be, a lot of food is conducive to psychic experiences that way. If you'd used lemon it might have been even worse.


I have been off the squash for a while now. I am on a fairly high psychic diet by default, because I have to stay sharp. So I eat a lot of the heavy hitting psychic foods, spicy chicken wings, sausages, whipped cream. If I had lemon squash on top of that I don't know what would happen.


----------



## harrison

Persephone The Dread said:


> Haha ironically he's one of those actors I really don't like not sure why maybe because I'm from the UK and he's some kind of annoying archetype? (but I think newer British Hollywood actors are better so dunno.) *I like Love Actually though* (which he happens to be in, but balanced out by actors I like(d) more.)


Yeah, it was probably Love Actually I was crying in.

But then again - I cry in most films at some point. (I should really try and stop doing that, it's getting embarassing.)


----------



## harrison

BeardedMessiahBob said:


> I have been off the squash for a while now. I am on a fairly high psychic diet by default, because I have to stay sharp. So I eat a lot of the heavy hitting psychic foods, spicy chicken wings, sausages, whipped cream. If I had lemon squash on top of that I don't know what would happen.


I'm just glad to see that beard's hit full-throttle mate.


----------



## Crisigv

Drained, but restless at the same time. A pointless blob in this world.


----------



## SplendidBob

harrison said:


> I'm just glad to see that beard's hit full-throttle mate.


Thx  - yeh, its a littleun, but just over the threshold from stubble into beard. Gonna keep it short now I think.


----------



## Peaceislove

feeling sad like always but i never give up i always keep going i know GOD always keeps blessing me


----------



## CNikki

Empty. It doesn't help that I have the tendency to miss opportunities for when they do (however so seldom) come.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I desperately want to be a good person but I think I'm a complete failure at life.


----------



## tea111red

harrison said:


> That's a nice song mate - that guy can really sing.
> 
> And don't worry - there'll be someone for you too.
> 
> Edit: also, check out the guitar work on this track.  (you can't feel sad listening to Santana mate)


Oh! I really like that version! It's relaxing to listen to.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Drained, but restless at the same time. A pointless blob in this world.


Awww. :hug


----------



## harrison

tea111red said:


> Oh! I really like that version! It's relaxing to listen to.


Yeah - I like it too. I found that Santana is one of the few acts that are often better live than their recordings. He makes it look so easy - he just stands there chewing his gum. 

This is a pretty good song too, (probably not as relaxing though)


----------



## harrison

BeardedMessiahBob said:


> Thx  - yeh, its a littleun, but just over the threshold from stubble into beard. Gonna keep it short now I think.


Thought of you this morning young Bob - I sat down beside this lady on the tram and she had an amazing fragrance on. Sort of a fruity little number. (appropriate for a lady of slightly more mature years?)

It was fantastic - I could of sat there with her all morning. I was tempted for a second to ask her what it was but there were two fairly stern looking ladies sitting opposite us so I decided against it.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I feel like there's a fart stuck between my buttcheeks but when I try to wiggle around and free it, nothing happens.


----------



## Flora20

Feeling pretty good actually, ever since I started taking vitamins..


----------



## Suchness

Flora20 said:


> Feeling pretty good actually, ever since I started taking vitamins..


Has it helped with anxiety?


----------



## f1ora

i feel confused and a little gross. the rainy morning is soothing though


----------



## EarthDominator

Confused, I finally found something that can help me out but at the same time, it saddnes me as well.


----------



## SplendidBob

harrison said:


> Thought of you this morning young Bob - I sat down beside this lady on the tram and she had an amazing fragrance on. Sort of a fruity little number. (appropriate for a lady of slightly more mature years?)
> 
> It was fantastic - I could of sat there with her all morning. I was tempted for a second to ask her what it was but there were two fairly stern looking ladies sitting opposite us so I decided against it.


Hehe, I love it when that happens .

I haven't added to my fragrance collection for a while. It's weird though how my bottles seem to all reach the same level of emptiness, all of them are about 1/4 gone. Which is ominous as it means they will all run out at the same time :S.


----------



## harrison

BeardedMessiahBob said:


> Hehe, I love it when that happens .
> 
> I haven't added to my fragrance collection for a while. It's weird though how my bottles seem to all reach the same level of emptiness, all of them are about 1/4 gone. Which is ominous as it means they will all run out at the same time :S.


I haven't used any for a long time. The last time I bought perfume for someone was a fair while ago too - it was Chanel No. 5, and the lady I bought it for immediately broke the top off when she tried to open it. I had to take it back to the shop to exchange it for her.  Nice perfume though.

I haven't really had any need to use any for a while. I used to when I was younger. It's nice to get dressed up and do things like that sometimes.


----------



## Chris S W

Doesn't matter.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

WillYouStopDave said:


> I feel like there's a fart stuck between my buttcheeks but when I try to wiggle around and free it, nothing happens.


Lmao. This made my morning.


----------



## SofaKing

Desperate for some physical and emotional contact and connection.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> Desperate for some physical and emotional contact and connection.


It's never ending. I'm simply too old and broken to get any interest from any woman I'm actually interested in. I made a huge mistake of getting involved with a much younger woman in her mid twenties, after a life time of nothing pretty much, and now I know that's all I ever had and will have. I still don't know if she'll be the straw that broke the camels back tbh. What am I supposed to do now? I'm ****ed. lol

Wish I could be happy alone or with male company, ffs. Sigh.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Lmao. This made my morning.


I've alway's called em "bubble farts". Feels like a bubble of trapped air like you're under water. It's nice when they ride up your crack and pop at your lower back, giving you a little tickle. Can't remember the last time I had a bubble fart. :frown2: lol


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A little bit relieved.


----------



## girlyone1

Irritated and annoyed


----------



## CNikki

Pretty dead.


----------



## Zatch

Relieved. Watched a car pull up at our store that was smoking a lot, then it started dripping fire and that's when the family evacuated. Thank god it didn't turn out worse.


----------



## Crisigv

Horrible and unwanted


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Horrible and unwanted


:hug


----------



## Nekobasu

feeling tired, but also excited! I have started my own company and just the past two nights I have made.. well last time I counted I was $650+ dollars all cash, but I got a bunch more since then, and I am still open until 3am. on call basically. wow. I really want to build my company up, start getting even more customers. I had to write off 3 customers cuz I had no way to accept credit/debit cards, but on Wednesday I am getting a card reader from my wireless provider. 

I am super happy, and feeling strong for the first time in years.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crippled, paralyzed by my issues. I feel like I've barely lived, my lifes over and I'm waiting to die.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sorry to hear that you both are feeling bad.



Pete Beale said:


> Crippled, paralyzed by my issues. I feel like I've barely lived, my lifes over and I'm waiting to die.


 :rub



Crisigv said:


> Horrible and unwanted


 :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Nekobasu said:


> feeling tired, but also excited! I have started my own company and just the past two nights I have made.. well last time I counted I was $650+ dollars all cash, but I got a bunch more since then, and I am still open until 3am. on call basically. wow. I really want to build my company up, start getting even more customers. I had to write off 3 customers cuz I had no way to accept credit/debit cards, but on Wednesday I am getting a card reader from my wireless provider.
> 
> I am super happy, and feeling strong for the first time in years.


Awesome news! ...and what does your company do, if you don't mind me asking?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sorry to hear that you both are feeling bad.
> 
> :rub
> 
> :hug


Thanks mate.

I wish there was some way to escape how I feel. I can't think of a damn thing. There was a meet I could have gone to today, but I know I wouldn't have enjoyed it. I can't enjoy a damn thing without her and I'm tired of it. I think I'm just going to explode with frustration one day and end it. There's no point keep suffering like this. I feel like a brain damaged drug addict, who cannot feel pleasure at all anymore.


----------



## harrison

Definitely more awake than usual. That may not necessarily be a good thing but it feels alright to me at the moment. It's funny how I always seem to go off my medication around spring-time. I wonder if there's anything in that.


----------



## Suchness

So many mixed emotions coming and going, its like a universe.


----------



## Nekobasu

do not know why, but I feel like killing. I know I cannot, and I should be happy but.. my old self is trying to bleed through today. I keep it stomped out.


----------



## Suchness

Nekobasu said:


> do not know why, but I feel like killing. I know I cannot, and I should be happy but.. my old self is trying to bleed through today. I keep it stomped out.


Stay strong, you know its not worth it.


----------



## Kevin001

Better than yesterday so grateful, but still would like to be 100%.


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit better than I have been feeling lately... Mother and I are visiting family.


----------



## momentsunset

Pretty good but stressed. I have SO much work to do. I know I'm supposed to not work today as it is labor day but there's so much to do, and so many business related e-mails I need to get back to. Plus I need to work at a labor day event today. I'm fortunate that I'm more in demand lately but it's stressful.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****ing heartbroken. This **** will never go away. I'll never be at peace.


----------



## Zatch

Deflated. I can't stop thinking about someone and it's really bumming me out.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, stressed.


----------



## CNikki

Nervous and a bit upset. Both for different reasons.


----------



## nightsbyfrankocean

school starts tomorrow (2nd year of university) and i feel like ****. my course load is going to be very heavy, and i commute and my parents drop and pick me up to a bus stop (thats 15 minutes away from my house) so i can bus to uni (35 minute bus ride) and i feel like such a burden and that im wasting my life away commuting and i just overall feel like a ****ty person with a pointless life


----------



## komorikun

It's starting to irritate me.


----------



## Deaf Mute

I feel tainted or ugly... I have so many things in the past I wish I could redo or erase.. I just want to feel like a blank slate.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Emotionally overwhelmed.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Tightness in both throat and chest.


----------



## Cascades

I've been on this site for 5 years and I always said having Social Anxiety sucks but I'm extremely grateful I dont have it as bad as some people here. At least I'm not completely and utterly miserable or suicidal. I'm not really sure what happened tonight. I was sitting at the bottom of the shower and it just hit me. Complete...emptiness. Like I had no feelings at all. It was strange and it was just a terrible, terrible feeling. Everything was just so pointless. Life was pointless. I've suppressed so much for so long and its starting to come out now. I was crying and yelled for my boyfriend and told him I didn't feel good mentally at all. Bad thoughts are starting. Things are getting worse. Someone please hold me accountable and make sure I book therapy before Friday night. And please dont quote this, I'll probably wake up tomorrow and delete this comment. Just please make sure I find someone. I get why people end their life.


----------



## Kevin001

Hot....I swear I get warm so easily.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Exhausted from the trip home.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

For the people above, a Panda hug for you -


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> For the people above, a Panda hug for you -


:grin2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :grin2:


That frown is now upside down. :yes :grin2:


----------



## mgra

I feel so horrible


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

mgra said:


> I feel so horrible


:hug


----------



## The Library of Emma

I’d like to be someone else.


----------



## mgra

ANX1 said:


> :hug


Thanks for the hug. It means a lot :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

mgra said:


> Thanks for the hug. It means a lot :squeeze


You're welcome.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Type all that then feel guilty. Sigh. So tired of life.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

I'm feeling like an idiot. That's not a new feeling, but it sucks all the same. Oh well. Life sucks, and then you die.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I can't cope with the loneliness.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Dejected, stupid, and lonely. I need to stop living on the night shift and waking up in the afternoon. Lol.



the cheat said:


> I'm feeling like an idiot. That's not a new feeling, but it sucks all the same. Oh well. Life sucks, and then you die.


 :rub



Pete Beale said:


> I can't cope with the loneliness.


 :rub


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Dejected, stupid, and lonely. I need to stop living on the night shift and waking up in the afternoon. Lol.
> 
> :rub
> 
> :rub


I'm sorry you're feeling **** mate. :hug


----------



## CNikki

Hurt.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

CNikki said:


> Hurt.


:hug


----------



## CNikki

Pete Beale said:


> :hug


Thanks. :hug

Sorry you're hurting as well. I can relate on some level of being lonely. Part of why I'm hurting.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> I'm sorry you're feeling **** mate. :hug


Don't worry, it usually passes as the day progresses, unless I think of something or someone that meant something to me.



CNikki said:


> Hurt.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

CNikki said:


> Thanks. :hug
> 
> Sorry you're hurting as well. I can relate on some level of being lonely. Part of why I'm hurting.


It's the worst thing. Wish there was some relief from it while I'm bloody conscious. Only sleep takes it away and I don't want to be like this.


----------



## Suchness

Good and bad feelings have been coming and going throughout the day. Its been such a roller coaster. It gets so bad that I don’t know how I can live with it and then I feel calmer again and it feels so nice, the anxiety and negativity is still there but I dont have that miserable feeling. I don’t want to be thinking the other way, I want to stay like this.


----------



## Barakiel

Conflicted.


----------



## Vip3r

Happy, today was a great day. I had a lot of fun.


----------



## farfegnugen

I kind of need a vacation or a break to do something fun soon


----------



## andy1984

just 4 hours of work today and i got so tired and had a nap. i don't go out after work. i feel not good enough for anything... i should be stronger than this. i shouldn't spend all my time watching movies and reading SAS. why can't i be more than i am?


----------



## llodell88

sad, tired, worried, stressed


----------



## Suchness

llodell88 said:


> sad, tired, worried, stressed


Hope you feel better soon.


----------



## Zatch

Sweaty. I love my jackets but wearing them while I'm out and active is a little much to handle.

Least I rehydrated. What a night... so many cats out.


----------



## Blue Dino

Uncertain, paranoid and scared.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Terrible.

I wish I'd never mentioned my fall out with her on here, but it's bothered me so much and I had no one to talk to. It was and still is completely overwhelming for me what happened. I feel like I should have just bottled it up and kept things private. I know no one here know's her, but part of me hates myself for posting some of the stuff I've posted here, that I know she's read. I never wanted to not be able to trust her and her not be able to trust me. I feel like I've betrayed her trust by venting about all this on here.

I don't know. I'm so ****ing tired by everything. I wish I would just drop dead because there's no future for me. I desperately needed something to work out with her. No one get's me and I feel so alone, and just don't want to feel this pain any longer. The only thing that would help is her coming back , fixing things with me, and being the great person she once was. I have no idea what to do without that person. Never knew before her and don't know what to do after her. I needed her. I really ****ing needed her and never knew how much. I'm ****ing devastated.


----------



## Crisigv

Tired and slow. I hope it's a basic day at work.


----------



## Nekobasu

sick. been sick all morning, constantly going to the toilet, puked in a bucket three times. I must have caught a virus from my customers. I mean I spent the past few years barely leaving my room, and the past week I been hauling customers around nonstop, it kind of makes sense.  I feel awful


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Okay. Just okay.


----------



## Suchness

I feel significantly better after meditating. I was very down and stressed all day, I felt stuck and it was so bad that I wasn't sure if I could meditate but I stuck with it and I'm glad I did. I feel like I balanced my energy a little bit, this is good progress. Got some ways to go and tonight has left me feeling pretty motivated about what's to come.


----------



## Ekardy

Nekobasu said:


> sick. been sick all morning, constantly going to the toilet, puked in a bucket three times. I must have caught a virus from my customers. I mean I spent the past few years barely leaving my room, and the past week I been hauling customers around nonstop, it kind of makes sense.  I feel awful


Hope you feel better soon. :squeeze


----------



## Homo Sapiens Sapiens

I feel breezy, thanks to music and cigarette that I smoke. I also get better sleep for the last couple of days.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Nekobasu said:


> sick. been sick all morning, constantly going to the toilet, puked in a bucket three times. I must have caught a virus from my customers. I mean I spent the past few years barely leaving my room, and the past week I been hauling customers around nonstop, it kind of makes sense.  I feel awful


 :rub

Get well soon!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Nekobasu said:


> sick. been sick all morning, constantly going to the toilet, puked in a bucket three times. I must have caught a virus from my customers. I mean I spent the past few years barely leaving my room, and the past week I been hauling customers around nonstop, it kind of makes sense.  I feel awful


Ouch. 

Might be anxiety related. But worth a trip to doctor to mäke sure.


----------



## EarthDominator

If I fail at everything, how am I supposed to pass my exams this year?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Tired and slow. I hope it's a basic day at work.


I hope you have a good day at work. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

EarthDominator said:


> If I fail at everything, how am I supposed to pass my exams this year?


Those were the days lol. I wish you the best of luck. :rub


----------



## EarthDominator

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Those were the days lol. I wish you the best of luck. :rub


Yeah, easy for everyone probably. Wish I was someone else. Thanks though.


----------



## Vip3r

I feel a lot of different emotions currently. Also I feel happy and sad at the same time.


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> I feel a lot of different emotions currently. Also I feel happy and sad at the same time.


:squeeze
Lean towards the happy, you can do it.


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> :squeeze
> Lean towards the happy, you can do it.


Thanks :squeeze


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Thanks :squeeze


I swear I'm just going to go with sharpies one day, hopefully that cheers you up. lol :grin2:


----------



## CNikki

Like an emotional wreck.


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> I swear I'm just going to go with sharpies one day, hopefully that cheers you up. lol :grin2:


Get the variety pack, I want lots of color. :b :haha


----------



## SofaKing

CNikki said:


> Like an emotional wreck.


I'm sorry. I go back and forth to that.


----------



## Jeff271

weightless, with stars under my feet


----------



## Cascades

Happy. Purely because of the weather. Does anyone else find absolute comfort in a dark sky, heavy rain, lightning and thunder?


----------



## harrison

Cascades said:


> Happy. Purely because of the weather. Does anyone else find absolute comfort in a dark sky, heavy rain, lightning and thunder?


I was talking on the phone to my sister up there this afternoon when she said the clouds were rolling over. I love storms - Sydney has some pretty decent ones too.

Glad they're cheering you up a bit.

Btw - I have a footy question for you. I've been living here for almost 25 years and I still can't figure this out. How come people that live out at bloody Greensborough can barack for the Tigers? It just doesn't seem right to me. Probably the only time they go near Richmond is on their way to Ikea.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Cascades said:


> Happy. Purely because of the weather. Does anyone else find absolute comfort in a dark sky, heavy rain, lightning and thunder?


Good to hear that you are feeling happy. 

We have had many storms like that this year including high winds. According to weather patterns they pass over Melbourne (we supposedly get Melbournes weather). I guess can predict the weather by watching Melbournes weather reports.


----------



## Cascades

harrison said:


> I was talking on the phone to my sister up there this afternoon when she said the clouds were rolling over. I love storms - Sydney has some pretty decent ones too.
> 
> Glad they're cheering you up a bit.
> 
> Btw - I have a footy question for you. I've been living here for almost 25 years and I still can't figure this out. How come people that live out at bloody Greensborough can barack for the Tigers? It just doesn't seem right to me. Probably the only time they go near Richmond is on their way to Ikea.


Lol I don't know, I don't follow it too much. I'm a Collingwood girl and I cop so much crap for it, I never lived anywhere near the area either! Who's your team?


----------



## Cascades

ANX1 said:


> Good to hear that you are feeling happy.
> 
> We have had many storms like that this year including high winds. According to weather patterns they pass over Melbourne (we supposedly get Melbournes weather). I guess can predict the weather by watching Melbournes weather reports.


I thought you lived in the states?


----------



## Suchness

Cascades said:


> Happy. Purely because of the weather. Does anyone else find absolute comfort in a dark sky, heavy rain, lightning and thunder?


It's mysterious and I like walking in the rain.


----------



## Nekobasu

I feel like going to the shooting range today! Another thread got me thinking about my weapons and it has been a while since I got in some honest practice.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Cascades said:


> I thought you lived in the states?


Part of my family did live in the states and came downunder during WW2 and never left. Another part is like from Australia that moved to NZ.

That's why I joke about this -






:lol


----------



## CNikki

Like I got ran over by a train, got back up, then ran over again, etc. I look it, too.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

CNikki said:


> Like I got ran over by a train, got back up, then ran over again, etc. I look it, too.


  :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I hope you two feel better.



CNikki said:


> Like an emotional wreck.


 :hug



SofaKing said:


> I'm sorry. I go back and forth to that.


 :rub



CNikki said:


> Like I got ran over by a train, got back up, then ran over again, etc. I look it, too.


 :hug


----------



## funnynihilist

Too much hard living=burnt out esophagus


----------



## llodell88

ok, just mood swings, having a hard time remembering stuff doesn't last, i've felt worse though. i think i'm still having triggers beyond what's going in my life but it's hard to sort out. hopefully the mood swings get better though, i dont know. they were at their worst, or as worse as possible some time ago so i guess it's possible i could just heal naturally, who knows.


----------



## Cascades

I dont usually make these posts. I feel like others will think I'm fishing for compliments, trying to seek attention and I genuinely feel bad for people having to sit there and listen to me whinge and whine and tell them how bad I'm feeling. I have always reminded myself to be grateful for everything I have. There's people out there who wish to have some of the things I have in my life but the truth is, right now I'm not doing too good. Maybe I should have just faced my feelings from the start rather than trying to act strong and suppress everything for all these years. I feel like it's coming out now and I'm scared. I'm scared to face so many things. Day after day, year after year I watched myself fall and I didn't stop it. I never tried to help myself. I never asked for anyone's help for the fear I'd appear weak and silly. I let myself get this way and I have no one to blame but myself. I isolated myself, pushed away anyone who tried getting close to me and I even allowed people to take advantage of me. I allowed people to speak down to me, be rude to me all because I didn't know how to stand up for myself. How pathetic and weak is that, I feel so embarrassed. Lately I switch between feeling sad and feeling numb and I'm not sure how long its gonna last. I dont even know what this post is. What the **** am I even asking for here? I just wish people would see Im really not ok anymore. I am there for you always. I have stuck by your ****ing side from day one and held your hand through all the nights you told me you wanted to ****ing die. Only once this year, you asked me how I was doing. Sometimes you can be so self centered and you cant even see in front of you that Im drowning too. And I feel guilty for the fact I want you to ask me. How dare I ask someone who doesnt want to live anymore to look out for me too. One of us had to keep strong and I just cant get us out anymore. If you go, I go too. 

Is this my cry for help? Its 4am. Watch me delete how I really feel in a few hours.


----------



## 8888

I've got a bit of a headache.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

8888 said:


> I've got a bit of a headache.


Hopefully it subsides.  :hug


----------



## harrison

@Cascades I won't quote your post just in case you want to delete it.

I know things haven't been too good with you lately - I very rarely post how I'm really feeling on here either. I'm a pretty private person and I tend to work things out on my own. But sometimes it's good to get things off your chest - and believe it or not, there are people - even on here - that care about you. If I'm not having a great day sometimes just a post from someone here can make a difference.

I can imagine who you're talking about in your post - although I might be wrong. Go and talk to a doctor and find a psychologist. Some of them are okay and it'll help to talk to someone. If things are bad medication can help too - I knew a girl from here ages ago who's whole life changed merely because she got on the right antidepressant. So sometimes they do help.

I hope you're feeling a bit better soon.


----------



## harrison

Cascades said:


> Lol I don't know, I don't follow it too much. I'm a Collingwood girl and I cop so much crap for it, I never lived anywhere near the area either! Who's your team?


I don't really barack for anyone tbh. After all these years I've actually started to watch the start of the footy though sometimes, although I admit I have no idea what's happening once they start playing. The closest I actually get to the footy is when all the fans pile onto my train on the way back from my wife's place.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Anxious, alone, and lonely. 

No one on here seems to care.

What else is new.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@*Cascades*

Sorry to hear that you have been feeling that way. 

Taking a break from daily routine like you said you wanted to do in the past might help. A change is sometimes as good as a rest. When not changing, moving forward in life it can make people feel depressed. I found I felt better making changes in my life no matter how small.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Anxious, alone, and lonely.
> 
> No one on here seems to care.
> 
> What else is new.


Yes, care mate. 

Do you need a frown upside down again?


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Anxious, alone, and lonely.
> 
> No one on here seems to care.
> 
> What else is new.


I'm sorry it may not seem like it, especially lately. But I care. I appreciate when you and a few others responded to my pettiness. But yeah, I do know the feeling...


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> Yes, care mate.
> 
> Do you need a frown upside down again?


 Yeah I need a frown upside down again, lol. Thanks.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> I'm sorry it may not seem like it, especially lately. But I care. I appreciate when you and a few others responded to my pettiness. But yeah, I do know the feeling...


Thanks, and it is not petty. :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Yeah I need a frown upside down again, lol. Thanks.


Roger from ground control to major monkey.  

You're welcome.


----------



## SofaKing

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Anxious, alone, and lonely.
> 
> No one on here seems to care.
> 
> What else is new.


We do...certainly share the same problems.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> We do... certainly share the same problems.


 Indeed we do, lol. I hope you find happiness, even in old age.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Even when have problems in life I feel like this -


----------



## 3stacks

So bored and lonely but I'm struggling to fall asleep


----------



## Ekardy

3stacks said:


> So bored and lonely but I'm struggling to fall asleep


:rub


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

3stacks said:


> So bored and lonely but I'm struggling to fall asleep


 :rub


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Sad, worried, alone and kind of thinking about dying again.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Scrub-Zero said:


> Sad, worried, alone and kind of thinking about dying again.


 :rub


----------



## Cascades

@harrison Honestly, it's taking all my strength to just be here at work right now. I am so close to just getting in the car and going away. But I have no where to go so whats the point. I'm think I'm on the verge of a ****ing breakdown at this point.


----------



## harrison

Cascades said:


> @harrison Honestly, it's taking all my strength to just be here at work right now. I am so close to just getting in the car and going away. But I have no where to go so whats the point. I'm think I'm on the verge of a ****ing breakdown at this point.


I know the feeling - it's awful.

Have PM'd you.


----------



## harrison

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Anxious, alone, and lonely.
> 
> No one on here seems to care.
> 
> What else is new.


We all care about you mate - you're obviously a lovely bloke.

(also - I really don't think you're an emotionless psychopath)


----------



## WillYouStopDave

30% bad and 70% uncertain.


----------



## 8888

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Hopefully it subsides.  :hug


Thank you


----------



## llodell88

like i want to be able to enjoy sleeping with someone normally in the future. or not feel bad that i think i'm mostly attracted to someone sexually because i have an emotional attachment thats intertwined with it all.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

harrison said:


> also - I really don't think you're an emotionless psychopath


"Insert evil sadistic laugh here"


----------



## Zatch

Doused. Was ready to get this morning over with but got a call while I was right outside the door to work saying I won't be needed until later, and not to come in yet.

Should have listened to my bed but I didn't want to be late. Feels bad.


----------



## momentsunset

Anxious. Doing another photo shoot today. The weather might not be the best for photos (lighting too harsh), and the equipment I had to soften it broke so, I really hope we can walk away with at least a few good shots. I'm so scared of not even getting one good shot and wasting her time.


----------



## Crisigv

Crampy and uncomfortable


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Headache, knee pain, depressed and lonely. The type of day you take 14 hours of your time just sleeping it away and maybe cry here and there.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like ****


----------



## Wanderlust26

Forever lonely.


----------



## Suchness

Cascades said:


> @harrison Honestly, it's taking all my strength to just be here at work right now. I am so close to just getting in the car and going away. But I have no where to go so whats the point. I'm think I'm on the verge of a ****ing breakdown at this point.


Stay strong. You'll get thru this. No matter what happens you'll always end up feeling better.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tipsy. :drunk



Wanderlust26 said:


> Forever lonely.


 :hug



Canadian Brotha said:


> Like ****


 :rub



Scrub-Zero said:


> Headache, knee pain, depressed and lonely. The type of day you take 14 hours of your time just sleeping it away and maybe cry here and there.


I had a day like that once.  :rub



Crisigv said:


> Crampy and uncomfortable


Hope you feel better.  :hug :squeeze


----------



## funnynihilist

Blah...and not looking forward to driving through downpours to go work tomorrow


----------



## Cascades

Suchness said:


> Stay strong. You'll get thru this. No matter what happens you'll always end up feeling better.


Thanks such.


----------



## Deaf Mute

I feel like a pathetic life form struggling to adapt to the ever changing society and world...


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That I'm liking the chemistry dancing wise with these two dancers -


----------



## Blass2009

I feel deeper in the hole of despair. Mentally and physically weak. I know we all go through difficult times, for the past 6 months its seems like normal life issues keep piling on. Working at a place where I feel underappreciated and stressed. Going through bankruptcy chapter 13 that basically sucks the majority of my monthly income up. My car just stopped running Friday so it in the shop. Have to borrow my dad's car to get to work. Stressing big waiting on the call from the repair shop to tell me how much it will cost, knowing I really can't afford whatever it will be. Unhappy, living with elderly parents who suck the life out of me but their needs come first. Depressed and stressed over 2 adult daughters who basically are dysfunctional people who have been in and out of jail. The youngest daughter is currently in prison. I'm just existing from day to day, barely. 
My teeth are in bad shape and directly affecting my physical health. Even with insurance its going to really streach my budget bigtime. 
Putting on a face to be able to go to work and earn a living. Inside I'm dead. Physically I'm weak. I'm usually a positive thinker and I know rough times are temporary but man! I'm 59, retired military and I feel like its beyond time for me to start living life. I want to travel and just start enjoying life. All of these things are weighing me down and I feel like there's no way out.


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable, fat and hideous


----------



## SofaKing

You're far from any of those things...but misery, I get.


Crisigv said:


> Miserable, fat and hideous


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Blass2009 said:


> I feel deeper in the hole of despair. Mentally and physically weak. I know we all go through difficult times, for the past 6 months its seems like normal life issues keep piling on. Working at a place where I feel underappreciated and stressed. Going through bankruptcy chapter 13 that basically sucks the majority of my monthly income up. My car just stopped running Friday so it in the shop. Have to borrow my dad's car to get to work. Stressing big waiting on the call from the repair shop to tell me how much it will cost, knowing I really can't afford whatever it will be. Unhappy, living with elderly parents who suck the life out of me but their needs come first. Depressed and stressed over 2 adult daughters who basically are dysfunctional people who have been in and out of jail. The youngest daughter is currently in prison. I'm just existing from day to day, barely.
> My teeth are in bad shape and directly affecting my physical health. Even with insurance its going to really stretch my budget big time.
> Putting on a face to be able to go to work and earn a living. Inside I'm dead. Physically I'm weak. I'm usually a positive thinker and I know rough times are temporary but man! I'm 59, retired military and I feel like its beyond time for me to start living life. I want to travel and just start enjoying life. All of these things are weighing me down and I feel like there's no way out.


I hope your daughters can find some stability and that you can get back on your feet emotionally. :rub


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> You're far from any of those things...but misery, I get.


What he said. "two thumbs up"


----------



## Vip3r

I am feeling some depression creeping in again. I think I will make myself go do some Ubereats deliveries to keep my mind off of it.


----------



## 0589471

Vip3r said:


> I am feeling some depression creeping in again. I think I will make myself go do some Ubereats deliveries to keep my mind off of it.


:squeeze hang in there. Imagine @Ekardy coloring in your tattoo and I am making us drinks haha! Still need to try that banana rum.


----------



## Vip3r

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> :squeeze hang in there. Imagine @Ekardy coloring in your tattoo and I am making us drinks haha! Still need to try that banana rum.


Thank you! :squeeze Haha, sounds like paradise.  :drunk


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Thank you! :squeeze Haha, sounds like paradise.  :drunk


Yes! I have the neon sharpies! :grin2: you can have a glow in the dark tattoo!

@A Toxic Butterfly Some piña coladas for me! :boogie


----------



## The Linux Guy

Crisigv said:


> Miserable, fat and hideous


Your nice and curvy and I like curvy.


----------



## 0589471

like coping via alcohol is not a good idea


----------



## funnynihilist

I got the bloat. Too much chili. Lotsa beans in that chili. (B L O A T)


----------



## 3stacks

funnynihilist said:


> I got the bloat. Too much chili. Lotsa beans in that chili. (B L O A T)


 r.i.p. to your toilet


----------



## funnynihilist

3stacks said:


> r.i.p. to your toilet


Sure, take his side! He's made of tough porcelain but my poor bowels are soft n' tender.


----------



## 3stacks

funnynihilist said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> r.i.p. to your toilet
> 
> 
> 
> Sure, take his side! He's made of tough porcelain but my poor bowels are soft n' tender.
Click to expand...

 haha I'm on your side go destroy him


----------



## blue2

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> like coping via alcohol is not a good idea


That is true : /


----------



## funnynihilist

3stacks said:


> haha I'm on your side go destroy him


Might take 8-10 hours to work through. I digest slow. Like a snake.


----------



## 3stacks

funnynihilist said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> haha I'm on your side go destroy him
> 
> 
> 
> Might take 8-10 hours to work through. I digest slow. Like a snake.
Click to expand...

 slow and steady does it


----------



## Ekardy

3stacks said:


> slow and steady does it


That's what she said.


----------



## SplendidBob

Disillusioned. Why must everyone reveal themselves to be totally different to the way they present themselves.
Also spammed too many benzos, kratom and waaaaaay too much modafinil. Major crash.

Exhausted with dealing with people who aren't themselves. 

Also need physical contact. 

Also need goals now women (oe a woman) aren't among those goals. 

Also need more therapy pretty ****ing badly because I am starting to see humanity as a ****ing ****heap again.


----------



## 0589471

BeardedMessiahBob said:


> Disillusioned. Why must everyone reveal themselves to be totally different to the way they present themselves.
> Also spammed too many benzos, kratom and waaaaaay too much modafinil. Major crash.
> 
> Exhausted with dealing with people who aren't themselves.
> 
> Also need physical contact.
> 
> Also need goals now women (oe a woman) aren't among those goals.
> 
> Also need more therapy pretty ****ing badly because I am starting to see humanity as a ****ing ****heap again.


:squeeze :hug :rub


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel like I'm posting because I don't have anyone to talk too.


----------



## CWe

Overwhelmed


----------



## komorikun

Cooking sure does kill my appetite.


----------



## Crisigv

Much better.  Thanks to someone.


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> Yes! I have the neon sharpies! :grin2: you can have a glow in the dark tattoo!


A glow in the dark tattoo would be so awesome! :clap


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> That's what she said.


I giggled when I read that. :lol


----------



## 3stacks

Not good. I was just thinking about how much of a loser I am and how hopeless I am. I dropped out of school and college because I let my anxiety and depression get the better of me. I can't do anything with my life because I have no qualifications and I'm actually really dumb so I probably could never do anything academically anyway not that I can afford to go back anyway. I'll probably never have a stable job/career, a girlfriend, a house, basically there's no chance of a good life for me and I will probably kill myself. Sorry for anyone reading that depressing crap I just needed somewhere to vent lol.


----------



## funnynihilist

September 10th and I'm sitting in front of the heater like it's January.
This time last week it was in the 90s.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

funnynihilist said:


> September 10th and I'm sitting in front of the heater like it's January.
> This time last week it was in the 90s.


Its so cold here too in Montreal. I went to take the kids to school this morning in shorts and t-shirt and I almost came back in for a sweater.


----------



## llodell88

bad about talking about sex so much but that's what's going on and what everything is about.


----------



## CNikki

funnynihilist said:


> September 10th and I'm sitting in front of the heater like it's January.
> This time last week it was in the 90s.


Ugh, right?

Felt like I woke up in a freezer.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

3stacks said:


> Not good. I was just thinking about how much of a loser I am and how hopeless I am. I dropped out of school and college because I let my anxiety and depression get the better of me. I can't do anything with my life because I have no qualifications and I'm actually really dumb so I probably could never do anything academically anyway not that I can afford to go back anyway. I'll probably never have a stable job/career, a girlfriend, a house, basically there's no chance of a good life for me and I will probably kill myself. Sorry for anyone reading that depressing crap I just needed somewhere to vent lol.


 :rub

Posts like these make me sad. Who says that there is no chance of a good life for you? What makes think you are dumb? You are way to hard on yourself. If this makes you (and anyone else here) feel any better, I am almost 30 and still in the same place I was five years ago when I graduated from college. Certain things in my life are coming together slowly. I do volunteer work for two companies and have a third paid position with one as well. None of them are related to what I studied but at least they are something.

Oh, and thank your lucky stars that you were not born with a permanent physical disability (from premature birth) like I was. Even though it is invisible to the outside world, it limits your independence, where I can live in the future, what jobs are safe enough for me to do, and potentially who would be willing to date me. Regarding that last point, I cannot lower my standards more than I already have, lol.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Melancholic and lonely.


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Melancholic and lonely.


:frown2:

:squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> :frown2:
> 
> :squeeze


Thanks sweetheart. :hug :kiss


----------



## komorikun

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub
> 
> Posts like these make me sad. Who says that there is no chance of a good life for you? What makes think you are dumb? You are way to hard on yourself. If this makes you (and anyone else here) feel any better, I am almost 30 and still in the same place I was five years ago when I graduated from college. Certain things in my life are coming together slowly. I do volunteer work for two companies and have a third paid position with one as well. None of them are related to what I studied but at least they are something.
> 
> Oh, and thank your lucky stars that you were not born with a permanent physical disability (from premature birth) like I was. Even though it is invisible to the outside world, it limits your independence, where I can live in the future, what jobs are safe enough for me to do, and potentially who would be willing to date me. Regarding that last point, I cannot lower my standards more than I already have, lol.


Have you had much of any programmer interviews? You can still see well enough to do programming right?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

komorikun said:


> Have you had much of any programmer interviews? You can still see well enough to do programming right?


Yes, I can see well enough for that, lol.

I have gotten interviews in the past which went fine but did not lead to employment. Sadly my motivation to get back into that is very low right now. I am not sure what I will end up doing job-wise so I am kind of just doing online courses to learn new things for the time being. Taking it slow and steady.


----------



## Deaf Mute

I've always had this deep seated melancholia and sense of yearning, I just want to be free


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, stressed, worried. That's life.


----------



## Ekardy

ANX1 said:


> Tired, stressed, worried. That's life.


It will be okay. :hug


----------



## kikoni

WillYouStopDave said:


> I feel like there's a fart stuck between my buttcheeks but when I try to wiggle around and free it, nothing happens.


How poetic


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> It will be okay. :hug


Thank you for your kind words. :hug 

I wish that many good things come your way in life for the kindness you have shown to me, others.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Much better.  Thanks to someone.


 This is good to hear.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Weird, and lonely. Oh well.


----------



## Ekardy

the cheat said:


> Weird, and lonely. Oh well.


Noo! No lonely. :squeeze 
And aren't we all a little weird?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Much better.  Thanks to someone.


"two thumbs up"


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

the cheat said:


> Weird, and lonely. Oh well.


 :rub


----------



## 3stacks

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub
> 
> Posts like these make me sad. Who says that there is no chance of a good life for you? What makes think you are dumb? You are way to hard on yourself. If this makes you (and anyone else here) feel any better, I am almost 30 and still in the same place I was five years ago when I graduated from college. Certain things in my life are coming together slowly. I do volunteer work for two companies and have a third paid position with one as well. None of them are related to what I studied but at least they are something.
> 
> Oh, and thank your lucky stars that you were not born with a permanent physical disability (from premature birth) like I was. Even though it is invisible to the outside world, it limits your independence, where I can live in the future, what jobs are safe enough for me to do, and potentially who would be willing to date me. Regarding that last point, I cannot lower my standards more than I already have, lol.


I just meant I have nothing going for me and I never will. I know I'm dumb because even when I tried my hardest I always got bad grades in everything so I clearly have a low intelligence. I really should die it will be better for the world and for me cause I have no hope.


----------



## Zatch

Exhausted. Feeling the toll of no sleep. Just need a good meal to lull me under.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm crashing. Losing grip of my good mood.


----------



## 3stacks

Really lonely I should just sleep it off probably lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> I just meant I have nothing going for me and I never will. I know I'm dumb because even when I tried my hardest I always got bad grades in everything so I clearly have a low intelligence. I really should die it will be better for the world and for me cause I have no hope.


Usually that means you are not academic, more practical. Just means you have to be shown how it works in real life to understand / learn (practical way).

Some people are just academic or practical. Some practical, academic (bit of both). There is testing for this that a psychologist knows how to do.



Zatch said:


> Exhausted. Feeling the toll of no sleep. Just need a good meal to lull me under.


I hope you feel better after some sleep. 



Crisigv said:


> I'm crashing. Losing grip of my good mood.


Puts a big pillow underneath to fall onto, so can sleep and get that good mood back again. 



3stacks said:


> Really lonely I should just sleep it off probably lol


 Yes, sleep little man, sleep.  :grin2:


----------



## funnynihilist

I feel bad


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

funnynihilist said:


> I feel bad


Sorry to hear mate. 

Some sleep might help?


----------



## funnynihilist

ANX1 said:


> Sorry to hear mate.
> 
> Some sleep might help?


Temporarily, but I got a lot on my mind these days and it's still there when I wake up.


----------



## 0589471

funnynihilist said:


> I feel bad


No way, have a shandy. :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

funnynihilist said:


> Temporarily, but I got a lot on my mind these days and it's still there when I wake up.


Sometimes we overthink over life issues. When actually go out and do the tasks / solve life issues we feel better afterwards.

I hope you do solve whatever is bothering you mate.


----------



## Suchness

3stacks said:


> Really lonely I should just sleep it off probably lol


Wish I was there to give you a massage and maybe a happy ending.


----------



## Suchness

I go thru phases where I feel excited about life, I handle stress better then and it can last for a couple of weeks.


----------



## Crisigv

Right now, I'm lonely. Feel like a burden, and everyone would be better off if I was gone.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Feeling a little excited about starting my new online course tomorrow. So there is that at least, if anyone cares.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

3stacks said:


> Really lonely I should just sleep it off probably lol


I find that a good night sleep can help when feeling down and out.  :rub



Suchness said:


> I go thru phases where I feel excited about life, I handle stress better then and it can last for a couple of weeks.


Hope it lasts longer than a couple of weeks this time around.  :rub



Crisigv said:


> Right now, I'm lonely. Feel like a burden, and everyone would be better off if I was gone.


Nope. SAS would miss you. :hug :squeeze


----------



## funnynihilist

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> No way, have a shandy. :squeeze





ANX1 said:


> Sometimes we overthink over life issues. When actually go out and do the tasks / solve life issues we feel better afterwards.
> 
> I hope you do solve whatever is bothering you mate.


Thanks. Even bears feel a little hairy sometimes


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Terrible. Tired, hungry, depressed, etc


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Canadian Brotha said:


> Terrible. Tired, hungry, depressed, etc


Sorry to hear that my dude.  :rub


----------



## momentsunset

Happy and motivated!


----------



## Ekardy

Jubilant. 

My parents finally came to visit me in my new home. They were proud. 
This was the first thing I did completely on my own...and they were proud. 
They were also showing concern for my health with lupus. They are ones to normally not show emotions, so I am overjoyed.


----------



## 3stacks

Suchness said:


> Wish I was there to give you a massage and maybe a happy ending.


There will be no happy endings in my life haha but thanks babe


----------



## Ekardy

3stacks said:


> There will be no happy endings in my life haha but thanks babe


:sus You're attractive. You will be fine. Just take one day at a time and you will one day get happy endings lol. :laugh:


----------



## 3stacks

Ekardy said:


> Jubilant.
> 
> My parents finally came to visit me in my new home. They were proud.
> This was the first thing I did completely on my own...and they were proud.
> They were also showing concern for my health with lupus. They are ones to normally not show emotions, so I am overjoyed.


 good to hear! &#128578;


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Jubilant.
> 
> My parents finally came to visit me in my new home. They were proud.
> This was the first thing I did completely on my own...and they were proud.
> They were also showing concern for my health with lupus. They are ones to normally not show emotions, so I am overjoyed.


Sorry to hear about your disease, but I am happy that you are feeling positive about things!  :hug



momentsunset said:


> Happy and motivated!


Great!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

3stacks said:


> There will be no happy endings in my life haha but thanks babe


Try and stay positive my dude! :rub


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sorry to hear about your disease, but I am happy that you are feeling positive about things!  :hug


Thank you!! :squeeze 
I was diagnosed a year ago. I'm on treatment now so it's hopefully okay. 
I also had a few drinks (I don't drink lol) now so I'm just reeaaallllyyyy happy!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Thank you!! :squeeze
> I was diagnosed a year ago. I'm on treatment now so it's hopefully okay.
> I also had a few drinks (I don't drink lol) now so I'm just reeaaallllyyyy happy!


No problem at all darling! hehe :hug :kiss

Treatment should help. Drinking helps too :lol


----------



## llodell88

gross, tired, stupid, obsessive


----------



## 3stacks

Like a huge fool which is exactly what I am anyway so it's not unfamiliar


----------



## Ekardy

3stacks said:


> Like a huge fool which is exactly what I am anyway so it's not unfamiliar


shhh :hug


----------



## 3stacks

Ekardy said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Like a huge fool which is exactly what I am anyway so it's not unfamiliar
> 
> 
> 
> shhh
Click to expand...

 lol it's true I keep getting rejected lmao


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

3stacks said:


> lol it's true I keep getting rejected lmao


Hug emojis are not rejections my dude :lol :rub


----------



## 3stacks

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> lol it's true I keep getting rejected lmao
> 
> 
> 
> Hug emojis are not rejections my dude
Click to expand...

 hug emojis won't give me a boner lmao


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> Wish I was there to give you a massage and maybe a happy ending.


:haha


----------



## Canadian Brotha

TinyFlutter said:


> *hugs* I hope you feel better tomorrow.


Thanks, me too


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Right now, I'm lonely. Feel like a burden, and everyone would be better off if I was gone.


No. :hug



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Feeling a little excited about starting my new online course tomorrow. So there is that at least, if anyone cares.


That is cool. 

Wish that you do well with this course. 



funnynihilist said:


> Thanks. Even bears feel a little hairy sometimes


You're welcome. 

Watchout for the Ranger -


----------



## 3stacks

Sick. I don't think I'll be able to eat all day after the weird video I just seen lol


----------



## CNikki

Really tired.


----------



## rmb1990

I have no direction, lonely, sad, lacking something/s in my life.


----------



## EarthDominator

Feel like I will collapse soon from exhaustion, mentally and physically.


----------



## Ekardy

My parents are in town visiting me. Last night was great. Missed them. I’ve had mostly issues with my mom and her standards esthetically and with my dad I appreciated the push because it made me who I am. Although it would have been nice to just be a kid sometimes. 

My mom called me fat this morning. I have no more weight to lose unless I cut off my boobs and my ***. I work out, I eat healthy....idk.
I know she means well in her own way but it hurts. I had an eating disorder when I was younger and I’ve relapsed recently. 
Now hearing her say that...I’m self conscious again because if my own mom can see my ugliness than everyone else can.


----------



## blue2

Ekardy said:


> Now hearing her say that...I'm self conscious again because if my own mom can see my ugliness than everyone else can.


LOL I saw your without makeup picture, you look fine to me :teeth


----------



## SplendidBob

****.

Another failed fast attempt followed by overeating. Going to seriously lose control of my weight soon.

Also totally aimless and bored in life atm, which isn't helping. I sense the darkness beginning to engulf me again.


----------



## SofaKing

BeardedMessiahBob said:


> ****.
> 
> Another failed fast attempt followed by overeating. Going to seriously lose control of my weight soon.
> 
> Also totally aimless and bored in life atm, which isn't helping. I sense the darkness beginning to engulf me again.


Hang in there Bob...these are demons I'm well versed in.


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> Now hearing her say that...I'm self conscious again because if my own mom can see my ugliness than everyone else can.


You are definitely not fat or ugly. You look great. :squeeze


----------



## SplendidBob

SofaKing said:


> Hang in there Bob...these are demons I'm well versed in.


Thanks mate.

Turns out when I added up the calories I didn't actually overeat, but the huge binge a few days back is making it hard to get back towards maintenance. I suppose as I am still lifting, on the positive side I am actually incidentally doing a pretty decent clean bulk atm. That I am trying to diet is kinda amusing though lol.


----------



## 0589471

mildly hungover


----------



## 0589471

Ekardy said:


> My parents are in town visiting me. Last night was great. Missed them. I've had mostly issues with my mom and her standards esthetically and with my dad I appreciated the push because it made me who I am. Although it would have been nice to just be a kid sometimes.
> 
> My mom called me fat this morning. I have no more weight to lose unless I cut off my boobs and my ***. I work out, I eat healthy....idk.
> I know she means well in her own way but it hurts. I had an eating disorder when I was younger and I've relapsed recently.
> Now hearing her say that...I'm self conscious again because if my own mom can see my ugliness than everyone else can.


Ughhh no, I uave a critical mom too but you know your limits and don't let her words put you in that ugly place. You're beautiful :squeeze


----------



## funnynihilist

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> mildly hungover


Ya didn't invite me ta drank. Here comes the tears. *sob*


----------



## 0589471

funnynihilist said:


> Ya didn't invite me ta drank. Here comes the tears. *sob*


You always bring shandy when you know I am a vodka girl.


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed


----------



## funnynihilist

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> You always bring shandy when you know I am a vodka girl.


Make a vodka shandy, it very very easy you know...it's called a Shandka Taxi...


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Frustrated.

Issue to fix again with rotating assembly.


----------



## Ekardy

Thank you, all of you. :group
It's actually nice to hear that after dealing with a morning full of judgement. 



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Ughhh no, I uave a critical mom too but you know your limits and don't let her words put you in that ugly place. You're beautiful :squeeze





Vip3r said:


> You are definitely not fat or ugly. You look great. :squeeze





blue2 said:


> LOL I saw your without makeup picture, you look fine to me :teeth


----------



## Ekardy

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> mildly hungover


I woke up feeling drunk this morning, I didn't even know that was possible, lol. :b


----------



## Chris S W

Sad, low, and anxious.


----------



## SplendidBob

Yeh, feel like im losing this battle atm.

Hopefully sleep will help.


----------



## andy1984

like an autumn leaf


----------



## harrison

BeardedMessiahBob said:


> Yeh, feel like im losing this battle atm.
> 
> Hopefully sleep will help.


Like @SofaKing said Bob - hang in there, you're a great bloke. (plus you've got that great new haircut) 

Hope you're feeling a bit better soon - I'll be thinking of you.

(actually I did again yesterday on the tram. These 3 girls got on with way too much perfume - it was quite a nice one but Jesus, I think they went a bit overboard with the spray thingy) :roll


----------



## Vip3r

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> You always bring shandy when you know I am a vodka girl.


Vodka for the win! :high5 I am drinking this vodka right now. :grin2:


----------



## SofaKing

Vip3r said:


> Vodka for the win! :high5 I am drinking this vodka right now. :grin2:


I've gone the Vanilla bourbon on the rocks route. A massive glass.


----------



## Vip3r

SofaKing said:


> I've gone the Vanilla bourbon on the rocks route. A massive glass.


That sounds good. I am a lightweight and would be so trashed if I had that much, lol.


----------



## SofaKing

Vip3r said:


> That sounds good. I am a lightweight and would be so trashed if I had that much, lol.


I admit it's got me pretty buzzed and a third is still left.

Cheers, mate!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> I've gone the Vanilla bourbon on the rocks route. A massive glass.


I would SO drink that! :lol


----------



## SofaKing

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I would SO drink that!


It's smoooth.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sad and lonely again. Yay me! :lol


----------



## CNikki

The fact that I'm tired and lack sleep, yet when there is a chance to go to sleep I just want to stay up. I know I'm not the brightest crayon in the crayon box, but c'mon...stupid brain.


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Vodka for the win! :high5 I am drinking this vodka right now. :grin2:


This looks like it would taste like cotton candy and give me a drunken sugar high.


----------



## Zatch

Blessed.


----------



## tea111red

Alone


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tea111red said:


> Alone


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Chris S W said:


> Sad, low, and anxious.


 :rub


----------



## tea111red

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thanks...


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> This looks like it would taste like cotton candy and give me a drunken sugar high.


:lol Yeah, it was a bit sugary. I ended up switching to beer.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tea111red said:


> Thanks...


No problem! I have been feeling that way more often lately so I can relate.


----------



## Chris S W

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub


Thanks


----------



## caelle

I feel dumb.

A guy I'm kinda sorta interested in was at my work today and I don't know if he was talking to me or someone on his phone headset but I was responding to him and then after I realized he might have been talking to someone else and I just kinda want to die.


----------



## riverbird

Broken, stressed, overwhelmed, hopeless. Ugh.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

riverbird said:


> Broken, stressed, overwhelmed, hopeless. Ugh.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## Everlily

I feel lonely and invisible.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Everlily said:


> I feel lonely and invisible.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## SofaKing

I'm so easily triggered from being mildly satisfied to cliff-ledge. And I want to cope in harmful ways.

This is so not living.


----------



## 0589471

Sick to my stomach. Not sure if the heat is getting to me (got an excessive heat warning message from city) or if my weird fever keeps coming back.


----------



## Ekardy

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Sick to my stomach. Not sure if the heat is getting to me (got an excessive heat warning message from city) or if my weird fever keeps coming back.


Hope you feel better soon! :squeeze
I can't believe it's still extremely hot over there. :O I'm sorry. :frown2:
Keep hydrated!


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed and stupid.


----------



## andy1984

very nervous. i'm going to a tree planting thing alone... its a very social thing and there will be a lot of standing around, waiting for instructions etc. i wish my friend was going with me.

i went to one a while back with my aunt and uncle... and it was awkward, i just stood around most of the time.

its just about helping to plant the trees though. as long as i keep that in my mind its ok. its ok to be awkward and alone. its just about the trees. its not about me, or other people, or meeting anyone. its just about the trees.

there should be bearded and dreaded cyclist hippies. these would be my people if I could socialise ok.


----------



## SkyBlue27

Very nervous, really tired but I just can't sleep because my mind is just going going going. Worrying about nothing.


----------



## CNikki

Like I want this week to end already.



SofaKing said:


> I'm so easily triggered from being mildly satisfied to cliff-ledge. And I want to cope in harmful ways.
> 
> This is so not living.


:hug I know it sucks. Hang in there.


----------



## tea111red

Run down.


----------



## SofaKing

Thanks...you too!

I ate my sensible soup for dinner and haven't had a drink tonight.

So far, keeping the vices at bay.


CNikki said:


> Like I want this week to end already.
> 
> :hug I know it sucks. Hang in there.


----------



## CNikki

SofaKing said:


> Thanks...you too!
> 
> I ate my sensible soup for dinner and haven't had a drink tonight.
> 
> So far, keeping the vices at bay.


Nothing wrong with having some drinks, but definitely not advisable if it's used as a potential/constant escape. Haven't done that in some months and must say I'm sort of proud of that...


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Sick to my stomach. Not sure if the heat is getting to me (got an excessive heat warning message from city) or if my weird fever keeps coming back.


I heard it was a hot male model walking infront of your house. Should put an alert out to other women, as this be a storm everywhere he goes. 

Yeah, humour to distract you from thinking about being sick (mind over matter and all that jazz). 



Crisigv said:


> Depressed and stupid.


Aww. :hug



andy1984 said:


> very nervous. i'm going to a tree planting thing alone... its a very social thing and there will be a lot of standing around, waiting for instructions etc. i wish my friend was going with me.
> 
> i went to one a while back with my aunt and uncle... and it was awkward, i just stood around most of the time.
> 
> its just about helping to plant the trees though. as long as i keep that in my mind its ok. its ok to be awkward and alone. its just about the trees. its not about me, or other people, or meeting anyone. its just about the trees.
> 
> there should be bearded and dreaded cyclist hippies. these would be my people if I could socialise ok.


Seen those events in photo's, but never went to one that I know of.



CNikki said:


> Like I want this week to end already.


:hug


----------



## SofaKing

CNikki said:


> Nothing wrong with having some drinks, but definitely not advisable if it's used as a potential/constant escape. Haven't done that in some months and must say I'm sort of proud of that...


Totally agree and good job done.

I can tell when it feels like a need vs a want so I try to resist in those cases.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired/sluggish


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Run down.


Winds you back up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ok. Hoping that the rotating assembly I fixed holds up to what it is going to be used for.

Ok. Bad that by engrish is funny.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

ANX1 said:


> Ok. Hoping that the rotating assembly I fixed holds up to what it is going to be used for.
> 
> Ok. Bad that by engrish is funny.


Engrish was funny enough that rotating assembly worked. I'm shocked. :O


----------



## copper

Stupid cold symptoms keeping me up. Been off work for the last three days.


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Very anxious about the bathroom refurbishment which begins on Monday and may last two weeks, for various reasons.


----------



## Suchness

Nervous, TSM is about to play Echo Fox and they need to win this if they’re going to make it to worlds.


----------



## alienbird

Calm and peaceful, actually. Weird.


----------



## CNikki

:dead


----------



## funnynihilist

Went to a Renaissance festival and it was hot, crowded, loud, expensive, muddy, and irritating. 
I actually found the whole thing kind of depressing.
Basically you pay a huge fee to get in so they can sell you **** and so the acts can beg for money.
There were lots of girls dressed somewhat ****ty so there's that.
Breastises were spilling out all over the place.
Some of the breastises you would rather not see.
It's basically an expensive version of Halloween.
Some dude sneezed on me.
Beer is $4.50 a cup. But I got a couple to try to numb myself to it all.
Sometimes I enjoy the feeling of being buzzed in a crowd. Everything just kinda flows.
I tripped on a step and spilt some of my beer and some woman said "that sucks" and I made a face at her.
I've been to two of these now, no need to go back.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Bored, lonely, sad, sober. Time to get drunk.


----------



## 3stacks

Pretty good I suppose


----------



## tea111red

I feel like eating chocolate....:um


----------



## tea111red

I should probably stick w/ spinach and parsley for awhile, though, lol.


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> I should probably stick w/ spinach and parsley for awhile, though, lol.


Have you tried that watercress?


----------



## Everlily

I feel anxious...



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thank you. :squeeze


----------



## SofaKing

Sofaking lonely


----------



## 0589471

super stressed...just want to drop out of existence for awhile


----------



## Vip3r

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> super stressed...just want to drop out of existence for awhile


:squeeze Hope you feel better. Sounds like you need a vacation.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> super stressed...just want to drop out of existence for awhile


We will miss your absence.  :hug :squeeze



SofaKing said:


> Sofaking lonely


Sadly I can relate.  :rub


----------



## SofaKing

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> We will miss your absence.  :hug :squeeze
> 
> Sadly I can relate.  :rub


Yeah...it's not enough to be a great person, partner, and friend.

You can still remain alone.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

the cheat said:


> Bored, lonely, sad, sober. Time to get drunk.


I am drinking right now too! :lol


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Horny.


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> Have you tried that watercress?


No, not yet, lol.


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> No, not yet, lol.


Me neither, I find watercress intimidating, it seems expensive. If it's so good for me why does it feel so bad to get?


----------



## Crisigv

My ok mood didn't last very long. I'm sad again. How do I stay positive? I can't lie to myself and fake it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> My ok mood didn't last very long. I'm sad again. How do I stay positive? I can't lie to myself and fake it.


Anything you can feel a positive feeling while listening to on Youtube -






Or being around positive things, people. 

Avoid negative things.


----------



## Blue Dino

Scared, uncertain if things can get very bad in a snap of a finger. Yet I have very little room to be able to take steps to address them or try to resolve them.


----------



## Equine24

.


----------



## Deaf Mute

I want to be a bar code and have no identity or face :haha


----------



## Suchness

Deaf Mute said:


> I want to be a bar code and have no identity or face :haha


You could get one of those bar code tattoos.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Feeling lonely again, sadly. "sigh"


----------



## Ekardy

...a speck of dust floating in the universe, searching for somewhere to belong.


----------



## PandaBearx

Mildly suicidal, feel a bit void.


----------



## Great Expectations

PandaBearx said:


> Mildly suicidal, feel a bit void.


I know the feeling all to well. Have you ever read "Feeling Good" by David Burns? It's a great self help
book, it got me out of a terrible rut a while back.

I'm not saying it's a cure or even a long term solution(in of itself) but it might provide temporary relief.

*Cool avatar, btw.


----------



## 3stacks

All alone


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I want to die in my sleep. I cannot stop avoiding. I cannot beat this ****.


----------



## 3stacks

Ignored and unwanted. Second best for sure


----------



## girlyone1

I got things accomplished today. Feeling pretty good. But I know the crash from the high is coming soon.


----------



## alienbird

Sad and ... back to that feeling of why bother? I mean, the optimism, the dreams... it's amazing how easily they get crushed. 

Even more afraid of getting hurt.


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> I want to die in my sleep. I cannot stop avoiding. I cannot beat this ****.


 same I don't even know why I bother trying. I just mess everything up when I do try .


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

alienbird said:


> Sad and ... back to that feeling of why bother? I mean, the optimism, the dreams... it's amazing how easily they get crushed.
> 
> Even more afraid of getting hurt.





3stacks said:


> same I don't even know why I bother trying. I just mess everything up when I do try .


You are both still so young. I'd give anything to be your age again, but I've let my issues take my youth, and I sit here as a lost, middle aged man, who feels like a child trapped in a mans body in many way's. Please try your hardest to find some happiness while you still have your youth. I'm filled with regret and have to live with how much of my life I've ****ed up. You don't want to end up like me guys! I don't think I'd be on here if I could go back to my twenties with what I know now. I can't do that though and have to live with so much regret. It's ****ing painful knowing what I've become.


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> You are both still so young. I'd give anything to be your age again, but I've let my issues take my youth, and I sit here as a lost, middle aged man, who feels like a child trapped in a mans body in many way's. Please try your hardest to find some happiness while you still have your youth. I'm filled with regret and have to live with how much of my life I've ****ed up. You don't want to end up like me guys! I don't think I'd be on here if I could go back to my twenties with what I know now. I can't do that though and have to live with so much regret. It's ****ing painful knowing what I've become.


I'm young but I literally don't have anything going for me and never will. Happiness isn't for losers like me.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Very alone. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't a daily thing.


----------



## Eternal Solitude

Dog passed away. I am shocked and haven't been able to let things sink in properly. Tomorrow is going to be a ****-fest!


----------



## komorikun

Not looking forward to heating season.


----------



## funnynihilist

Not great


----------



## SamanthaStrange

the cheat said:


> Very alone. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't a daily thing.


Same.


----------



## 0589471

twytarn said:


> Same.


:squeeze

Omg I love your new avatar!! I can't wait for October. I don't know if the heat is going anywhere anytime soon but one can dream  It is my favourite season anyway
...halloween movies :yay


----------



## SamanthaStrange

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> :squeeze
> 
> Omg I love your new avatar!! I can't wait for October. I don't know if the heat is going anywhere anytime soon but one can dream  It is my favourite season anyway
> ...halloween movies :yay


Thanks. I know I'm super early but I thought it would cheer me up a little. Fall is my favorite season too, and I love Halloween.


----------



## CNikki

Tired and like crap. The usual.



Eternal Solitude said:


> Dog passed away. I am shocked and haven't been able to let things sink in properly. Tomorrow is going to be a ****-fest!


I'm sorry to hear about that.  :hug


----------



## Ekardy

the cheat said:


> Very alone. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't a daily thing.


:squeeze Drink soda. Think of the carbonation as little hugs in your mouth......

.....I dont know. I was trying for something there lmao :lol ignore me.


----------



## Crisigv

A bit depressed. Maybe I'm more tired than I thought.


----------



## andy1984

Eternal Solitude said:


> Dog passed away. I am shocked and haven't been able to let things sink in properly. Tomorrow is going to be a ****-fest!


oh sorry to hear that 

hope you are doing ok


----------



## Suchness

Eternal Solitude said:


> Dog passed away. I am shocked and haven't been able to let things sink in properly. Tomorrow is going to be a ****-fest!


Sorry to hear that, my heart goes out to you. Our dog doesn't have long to live, I don't know how I'm going to take it when she passes away.


----------



## 0589471

Katrina Bey said:


> Yess, me too! I have an affinity for them. I like scary stuff. Little bit paradoxical considering my anxiety, but I think we all like being scared a little.
> 
> My name is Jason and I, um dressed up as "Jason" for Halloween one year at University.  I'm weird.


haha love it! Michael is my favourite halloween villain.


----------



## 3stacks

Katrina Bey said:


> Young buck, keep fighting man. You're just a baby. So young.
> 
> Like I said before, and I genuinely feel like I have a decent intuition. You're a keeper brollercoaster tycoon. :nerd:


Thank you!


----------



## komorikun

komorikun said:


> Not looking forward to heating season.


Already I have to wear sweat pants and fleece inside the house. And my right hand gets all cold when I use the mouse.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Ho w to be alive?


----------



## 3stacks

Heartbroken and worthless. I just hope I die soon.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Sick


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Who cares...


----------



## girlyone1

3stacks said:


> Heartbroken and worthless. I just hope I die soon.


Are old and close to the end. I hope you don't die, unless the suffering is just too much.


----------



## 3stacks

girlyone1 said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Heartbroken and worthless. I just hope I die soon.
> 
> 
> 
> Are old and close to the end. I hope you don't die, unless the suffering is just too much.
Click to expand...

 I'm not that old I'm only 23 haha
But the suffering is no good they should euthanize me lol


----------



## 3stacks

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Who cares...


You're a good guy, I care!


----------



## Deaf Mute

When you give up explaining yourself to anyone, and just nod at everything and then go cry in your room later.










Wow. Double-post here today...


----------



## 3stacks

Deaf Mute said:


> When you give up explaining yourself to anyone, and just nod at everything and then go cry in your room later.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Wow. Double-post here today...


 I know that feeling, hope you feel better soon.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I wish I could find peace with the way I am. Constantly wanting is torturous. All I'm doing is torturing myself. I wish I could accept that I've made myself unemployable due to years of avoidance and I'll never have a close connection to anyone.


----------



## thelonelystag

Restless and irritated with myself.

Went out on Saturday night. Met someone who showed interest in me and then upset them by the end of the evening.


----------



## Emma-Pixie89

Wishing i could crawl somewhere quiet and be left alone for just one day...


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, stressed.


----------



## 3stacks

ANX1 said:


> Tired, stressed.


 sorry to hear, hope you feel better soon


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> sorry to hear, hope you feel better soon


Thank you mate for your kind words. 

I hope you feel better soon too mate. 

I do hope some lovely lady comes along and sweeps you off your feet (now that would be interesting).


----------



## 3stacks

ANX1 said:


> Thank you mate for your kind words.
> 
> I hope you feel better soon too mate.
> 
> I do hope some lovely lady comes along and sweeps you off your feet (now that would be interesting).


Haha thanks I doubt it but I hope so too. It would not be interesting if she decided to sweep my leg and break haha


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Haha thanks I doubt it but I hope so too. It would not be interesting if she decided to sweep my leg and break haha


You're welcome mate. 

It should happen, about now (silence ensues). Well, now in the future. 

Would be even worse if she said that is show business. :O


----------



## 3stacks

ANX1 said:


> You're welcome mate.
> 
> It should happen, about now (silence ensues). Well, now in the future.
> 
> Would be even worse if she said that is show business. :O


Show business is better than no business


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Show business is better than no business


True, true mate.  :lol


----------



## Everlily

I feel like a ghost. Maybe I am one?


----------



## Ekardy

Everlily said:


> I feel like a ghost. Maybe I am one?


:O
But if you are one, are you a friendly ghost?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Everlily said:


> I feel like a ghost. Maybe I am one?


Pinch yourself (ghost check)?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Everlily said:


> I feel like a ghost. Maybe I am one?


Me too.

I wish I was more of a poltergeist who could actually ****ing interact with people and get some attention. lol


----------



## Ekardy

ANX1 said:


> Pinch yourself (ghost check)?


But if she was a ghost wouldn't she still be able to pinch herself? Just not others maybe?


----------



## Everlily

Ekardy said:


> :O
> But if you are one, are you a friendly ghost?


Yes! 0



ANX1 said:


> Pinch yourself (ghost check)?


*pinches* Huh, good I'm not one! lol



Pete Beale said:


> Me too.
> 
> I wish I was more of a poltergeist who could actually ****ing interact with people and get some attention. lol


Yeah, Poltergeist would be cool. At least would get noticed, that's for sure.


----------



## Vip3r

Stressed. I have to take my Dad for a liver biopsy in the morning.


----------



## Edwirdd

I was feeling pretty great, but this thread made me sad.


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Stressed. I have to take my Dad for a liver biopsy in the morning.


:squeeze Sending good vibes! I hope everything comes out for the best. :hug


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> :squeeze Sending good vibes! I hope everything comes out for the best. :hug


Thank you :squeeze


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Absolute garbage. That's all I am to everyone.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Absolute garbage. That's all I am to everyone.


 What happened?


----------



## Glycerin

like I'm better off dead.


----------



## 3stacks

Glycerin said:


> like I'm better off dead.


:hug sorry to hear


----------



## birddookie

@Everlily and the ability to walk through walls.:wink2:

@Vip3r Hope all goes well on the test :squeeze

@Edwirdd Go read the What is making you happy thread?:grin2:

@PurplePeopleEater I don't think you are, what's going on? :squeeze

@Glycerin Hope you feel better and that better times are in your future. :hug


----------



## 0589471

:squeeze praying, really hope everything turns out all right.


Vip3r said:


> Stressed. I have to take my Dad for a liver biopsy in the morning.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> What happened?


 @birddookie

I have to start getting up two hours early to go to work just to save money for drinks. Money has gotten tight again even though I've been getting more hours at work. I've been saving money for a mattress and the neighbors want ten dollars total in gas to and back from work everyday. I have to put 5 dollars in for the people I live with also and I pay rent so it's like I'm paying extra. I'll never save to get out of here. I basically have to save literally all my money now so that's what I'm going to do. And I lost like 50 dollars I had saved for a mattress. I don't know where it went. I'll look again. It might have just gotten lost somewhere. I check my drawer everyday to make sure it's in the same spot. I did just find $30 somewhere not that long ago so there's that at least. I had $160 saved up and had to use some of it for something else important. I already told my neighbors I'm walking to work tomorrow. Even walking fast takes an hour to get there. I'm just gonna have to do what I gotta do. I always make sure I save for the next paycheck and then some. I spend some and save some.


----------



## Vip3r

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> :squeeze praying, really hope everything turns out all right.


Thank you :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Everlily said:


> *pinches* Huh, good I'm not one! lol


:lol



Edwirdd said:


> I was feeling pretty great, but this thread made me sad.


Chin up mate. 



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Absolute garbage. That's all I am to everyone.


Nope. :hug.



Glycerin said:


> like I'm better off dead.


Please no mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> But if she was a ghost wouldn't she still be able to pinch herself? Just not others maybe?


Ghosts are made of energy and if focus they can move objects. At least that's the theory behind it that I'm sticking to.


----------



## Ekardy

Feeling great actually.
I was stressed out last night so I did yoga twice today. Might start doing it twice a day from now on. 
It feels great! I'm starting to get into the next level, managed to do a King Pigeon Pose (Kapotasana) with ease. 

I'm also slowly incorporating a more Sattvic way of eating.

My friend from back home is also coming into town, haven't seen him in years! Although I know he's a sucker for clubs (social butterfly) so...
:afr high heels :dead


----------



## Vip3r

birddookie said:


> @Vip3r Hope all goes well on the test :squeeze


Thank you


----------



## PandaBearx

Great Expectations said:


> I know the feeling all to well. Have you ever read "Feeling Good" by David Burns? It's a great self help
> book, it got me out of a terrible rut a while back.
> 
> I'm not saying it's a cure or even a long term solution(in of itself) but it might provide temporary relief.
> 
> *Cool avatar, btw.


Can't say I have, seems like it has some pretty good reviews though! So checking it out could be beneficial, will have to pick up the next time I go to the book store or library. I recently bought a book called "Fuc* Feelings" by Michael I. Bennett have yet to start it though. Procrastination. Not sure if it'll be any good though. Usually have to give it a chance by reading the first few chapters before I decide. Should've done that _before_ I purchased it haha but it was an impulse buy.


----------



## Great Expectations

PandaBearx said:


> Can't say I have, seems like it has some pretty good reviews though! So checking it out could be beneficial, will have to pick up the next time I go to the book store or library. I recently bought a book called "Fuc* Feelings" by Michael I. Bennett have yet to start it though. Procrastination. Not sure if it'll be any good though. Usually have to give it a chance by reading the first few chapters before I decide. Should've done that _before_ I purchased it haha but it was an impulse buy.


It looks promising...I'm planning to read something very similar.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28257707-the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-f-ck


----------



## Zatch

Satisfied. Payroll dropped finally, and I had so much overtime it feels like a holiday check.

On top of figuring out how to save even better, I can say I'm confident in my working lifestyle finally.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am feeling okay. Need to get to bed soon though :lol



Ekardy said:


> Feeling great actually.
> I was stressed out last night so I did yoga twice today. Might start doing it twice a day from now on.
> It feels great! I'm starting to get into the next level, managed to do a King Pigeon Pose (Kapotasana) with ease.
> 
> I'm also slowly incorporating a more Sattvic way of eating.
> 
> My friend from back home is also coming into town, haven't seen him in years! Although I know he's a sucker for clubs (social butterfly) so...
> :afr high heels :dead


 Good to hear you are feeling great!


----------



## harrison

I was feeling good but then I saw ANX's blog and that he wants to leave. That's awful - he's easily the kindest and most supportive person on here. It won't be the same without him.


----------



## Karsten

Woke up at 3:30am for no reason and haven't been able to fall asleep. So annoying.


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling good enough,for the past month I wasn't able to go to sleep at all,the recent three days has been awesome because I was able to fall asleep and sleep 8 hours a night


----------



## riverbird

Super nervous. I have a psychiatrist evaluation tomorrow for SSI. Maybe having a panic attack during it will help my case... because I certainly won't be surprised if that does happen.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Life is so ****ing dull without her. I couldn't give a **** about anything other than chilling with her.


----------



## Kevin001

Grateful


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Weird.


----------



## Vip3r

A little skinned up and sore. I woke to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I felt weak and passed out in the kitchen on my way back to bed. I fell into my glass kitchen table flipping it over. Luckily, I didn't get hurt much, and the table didn't break. I just had a mess of things to clean up that were on the table once I came to. :fall


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> A little skinned up and sore. I woke to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I felt weak and passed out in the kitchen on my way back to bed. I fell into my glass kitchen table flipping it over. Luckily, I didn't get hurt much, and the table didn't break. I just had a mess of things to clean up that were on the table once I came to. :fall


Oh no!

Glad you're okay though, that could have been worst. :rub


----------



## meowcelina

very anxious because i have to go back to work. funny thing is that i was working at the same store just different location but i got transferred so now am nervous about working at this new place wish me luck guys...


----------



## 3stacks

meowcelina said:


> very anxious because i have to go back to work. funny thing is that i was working at the same store just different location but i got transferred so now am nervous about working at this new place wish me luck guys...


 good luck!


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> Oh no!
> 
> Glad you're okay though, that could have been worst. :rub


Thanks :squeeze


----------



## 3stacks

Feeling kinda petty like I'm about to expose people for everyone to see.


----------



## Everlily

Heartbroken. </3


----------



## farfegnugen

like ****


----------



## SamanthaStrange

farfegnugen said:


> like ****


 :squeeze


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Tired of the loneliness. Tired of missing her. Tired of missing myself.


----------



## BeamingNow

Really irritable due to medication withdrawals. I apologize in advance to anyone I may lash out at this week


----------



## meowcelina

thank you it went well!


----------



## meowcelina

3stacks said:


> good luck!


thank you it went well!


----------



## nikkib99

i feel regret because i should've gone out tonight like everyone else but i was too scared  feeling sad and disappointed


----------



## Ekardy

Physically beat. I don't think I worked out that much and that hard in ages. Better that than feeling stressed.


----------



## AffinityWing

Elated


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Bad physically. Sick and coughing. 

Not bad mentally. Sick and coughing.


----------



## Suchness

nikkib99 said:


> i feel regret because i should've gone out tonight like everyone else but i was too scared  feeling sad and disappointed


Try not to let get you down. Enjoy your night anyway, take pleasure in yourself and the simple things. There's plenty of time to go out.


----------



## Suchness

Vip3r said:


> A little skinned up and sore. I woke to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I felt weak and passed out in the kitchen on my way back to bed. I fell into my glass kitchen table flipping it over. Luckily, I didn't get hurt much, and the table didn't break. I just had a mess of things to clean up that were on the table once I came to. :fall


Damn Android, that could have been bad. I'm glad you're ok, I need you on my side.


----------



## Great Expectations

Unproductive. Time to get offline for a while.


----------



## Karsten

Restless.


----------



## Ekardy

Frisky.


----------



## thelonelystag

Since last night I've been on the verge of tears and it has persisted throughout today at work.

I'll be alone this weekend so I think I'm probably going to breakdown at some point. Loneliness is awful.


----------



## girlyone1

Excited.


----------



## CNikki

Like I wish I never woke up.


----------



## 3stacks

meowcelina said:


> thank you it went well!


Good to hear!


----------



## Vip3r

Suchness said:


> Damn Android, that could have been bad. I'm glad you're ok, I need you on my side.


Thanks, I almost needed a system reset after that. :laugh:


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Thanks, I almost needed a system reset after that. :laugh:


I need this cosplay to happen.


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> I need this cosplay to happen.


I was actually considering it for Halloween. Only thing is that I don't have the blue eyes to make it perfect, lol.


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> I was actually considering it for Halloween. Only thing is that I don't have the blue eyes to make it perfect, lol.


Contact lenses but you don't really need them unless you're going for details.

Shut up, I'm geeking out!

I'm dressing up as Chi-chi for Halloween! 
Now we need a Goku, Gohan.....hmm, it'll probably be a lot of people, lol. 
I'm just excited for Halloween this year!


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> Contact lenses but you don't really need them unless you're going for details.
> 
> Shut up, I'm geeking out!
> 
> I'm dressing up as Chi-chi for Halloween!
> Now we need a Goku, Gohan.....hmm, it'll probably be a lot of people, lol.
> I'm just excited for Halloween this year!


I just won't worry about the eyes. I would probably do something wrong and permanently blind myself putting in contact lenses. :lol

That is so cool you are dressing up as Chi-chi!! We need an SAS Halloween party! :boogie


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> I just won't worry about the eyes. I would probably do something wrong and permanently blind myself putting in contact lenses. :lol
> 
> That is so cool you are dressing up as Chi-chi!! We need an SAS Halloween party! :boogie


:yay That would be fun, lol.

I like making my own outfits so I've already been looking into ideas. I have the hair for it already, lol. I'll probably go this route.


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> :yay That would be fun, lol.
> 
> I like making my own outfits so I've already been looking into ideas. I have the hair for it already, lol. I'll probably go this route.


That would look awesome! :clap That is cool you are making your own outfit. I would do the same. Mine will be super easy. I just got to find those weird colored shoes and socks. :laugh:


----------



## shyvr6

Anxious and annoyed. Dental and job appointments next week and my tooth is being a pain in the a** in the meantime.


----------



## JerryAndSports

Terrible stressed out and totally lost on where I want to go in life.


----------



## riverbird

Like I need a drink. Or five.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tipsy and kinda horny. TMI but I don't care. :lol


----------



## Ekardy

riverbird said:


> Like I need a drink. Or five.


Same.


----------



## 0589471

like absolute garbage.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> like absolute garbage.


I hope you feel better soon. Here's an e-hug from me:

:hug :squeeze


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Like life is just one crushing blow after another, until you just wish Flanders was dead.


----------



## Great Expectations

Last night was productive. Now, I just need to turn it into a habit.


----------



## Ekardy

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> like absolute garbage.


Oh no!
Please don't think like that!! :hug
You're anything but that, you are by far one of the sweetest, kindest people I've met. You have helped me through so much and you have such a good spirit. 
:heart


----------



## 0589471

:squeeze thanks Kardy. ♡


Ekardy said:


> Oh no!
> Please don't think like that!! :hug
> You're anything but that, you are by far one of the sweetest, kindest people I've met. You have helped me through so much and you have such a good spirit.


----------



## komorikun

pissed off


----------



## Kennysoul

Sleepy


----------



## Suchness

Kennysoul said:


> Sleepy


Bless your soul. Good night and sweet dreams kenny.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling a bit down


----------



## Suchness

So much better after meditating.


----------



## bewareofyou

Sad. Guilty.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Like I'm in heaven, so many Miss Persians -






Long time since I had that many cats, want to hug them all. :mushy

I remember it made feeding time interesting.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Miss the **** of her. It's killing me. No idea what to, blah blah blah.


----------



## Ekardy

ANX1 said:


> Like I'm in heaven, so many Miss Persians -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Long time since I had that many cats, want to hug them all. :mushy
> 
> I remember it made feeding time interesting.


Darn it!
I was feeling very "**** the world today, don't care let me numb".......and these cats...:heart :heart melted my heart.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Darn it!
> I was feeling very "**** the world today, don't care let me numb".......and these cats...:heart :heart melted my heart.


Awww. :hug

When you hold a cat like a baby. Feel it's heart beating. The look of love looking back at you with those beautiful eyes, innocent face. Just makes a persons day.


----------



## SplendidBob

Frustrated. Neck is in trouble again, I assume triggered by the full day sitting of lectures, or doing all the reading with these heavy books (have to read lying on my side as i cant look down for long, but its probably putting my neck slightly out of correct posture. Or its just a cumulative neck stressor over the last week. Whatever I am not enjoying the burning sensation atm. Really enjoying the challenge of this course though, feels like i have a purpose for the first time in 20 years. If my neck stops it I will be devastated. 

I tried getting kindle versions of the books but they weren't compatible with my kindle (easier to hold in the right position). Pointlessly harassing doctors again next week, begging them to help me so i can have some kind of ****ing life. Anxiety is no challenge at all really, compared to this kind of long term physical health problem.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

BeardedMessiahBob said:


> Frustrated. Neck is in trouble again, I assume triggered by the full day sitting of lectures, or doing all the reading with these heavy books (have to read lying on my side as i cant look down for long, but its probably putting my neck slightly out of correct posture. Or its just a cumulative neck stressor over the last week. Whatever I am not enjoying the burning sensation atm. Really enjoying the challenge of this course though, feels like i have a purpose for the first time in 20 years. If my neck stops it I will be devastated.
> 
> I tried getting kindle versions of the books but they weren't compatible with my kindle (easier to hold in the right position). Pointlessly harassing doctors again next week, begging them to help me so i can have some kind of ****ing life. Anxiety is no challenge at all really, compared to this kind of long term physical health problem.


 That sucks man. How did it all start? I wasn't aware of it until recently when I saw you mention it in a post. I know once as a kid I slept wrong or something and absolutely couldn't move my head for a couple days without severe pain. It was the worst feeling.


----------



## Everlily

ANX1 said:


> Like I'm in heaven, so many Miss Persians -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Long time since I had that many cats, want to hug them all. :mushy
> 
> I remember it made feeding time interesting.


Soooo cuuute! I want to hug them all too, so fluffeh! :heart


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Miserable.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

twytarn said:


> Miserable.


:frown2:


----------



## SplendidBob

WillYouStopDave said:


> That sucks man. How did it all start? I wasn't aware of it until recently when I saw you mention it in a post. I know once as a kid I slept wrong or something and absolutely couldn't move my head for a couple days without severe pain. It was the worst feeling.


Weight training mishap years ago 

Overhead pressing, let neck go forward, done. A few seconds of lifting too heavily and let my form go.

The pain isn't bad, bad, but I don't know how you rate the severity of neurological pain symptoms, which come and go based on posture (and thus stop me doing things). I am not in severe pain or anything, its just the restrictions it places on me so things don't get worse.

It's more of a problem than my psych issues I think (in terms of trying to build some kind of life for myself). Of course, having both isn't great (and for sure, they both feed into each other). But it is very variable, and it will get better again. Whatever I won't let it stop me do the degree. I will find a way. Because I feel I am on the right path here now, have a purpose and am waking up early and actually being productive without having to trick myself into it. It's self rewarding, which is very rare for me.

But its stuff like, on Weds we have a field trip to a zoo (idk why, to make stats fun i guess). It's at the end of the day, so from 9-2 I will have been sitting and my neck probably won't be in a great place, so will be experiencing discomfort, and then I have to go on a minibus (which might make it worse), and do some group stuff there as well, which is going to make me very anxious (and I can't escape if I need to). The combo isn't good.

Anyway, have ordered a back brace because my shoulder posture isn't great so that's probably not helping and a couple of different neck braces (one which delivers heat). Hopefully one of those might help things a bit.

**** ain't ever simple.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

BeardedMessiahBob said:


> Weight training mishap years ago
> 
> Overhead pressing, let neck go forward, done. A few seconds of lifting too heavily and let my form go.
> 
> The pain isn't bad, bad, but I don't know how you rate the severity of neurological pain symptoms, which come and go based on posture (and thus stop me doing things). I am not in severe pain or anything, its just the restrictions it places on me so things don't get worse.


 I have a problem with my upper back. I don't remember when it started but my upper back has always been kind of sore if I stand for very long. Right between the shoulder blades. Since I was about 25 or so it's been getting worse and worse. I don't ever remember doing anything that caused it but who knows really. I've been thinking of trying to get some kind of brace for it because if I stand for more than about 15 minutes it starts up and gets worse and worse until I have to lay down or sit in a really soft recliner or something until it eases up. Gets to the point to where the pain is all I can think about.

When I used to be on my feet for 10 hour days it would start throbbing about 45 minutes in and get worse as the hours went by until I felt like it was just trying to push me down. Posture doesn't seem to help and in fact if I try to stand up straight it gets worse.

Chronic upper back pain seems to be rare. Most people who have back pain seem to complain about lower back pain. I never had that problem at all.


----------



## komorikun

Headache is gradually fading. After 2 cups of coffee, 2 ibuprofens, and 2 aspirins. Generic pill brands since I'm a tightwad (other than rent of course....).


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Like I'm in heaven, so many Miss Persians -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Long time since I had that many cats, want to hug them all. :mushy
> 
> I remember it made feeding time interesting.


I should take a photo sometime of the little cat that lives at a place I go past a lot in Carlton. I saw it again yesterday - it just lies on the footpath in the sun and lets anyone walking past give it a pat. It's the most relaxed and friendliest little cat I've ever seen. I'm not usually a big cat person but that one is very cute - sort of black and white and small.

Yesterday this young couple were bending down patting it for ages when I walked past. I'll try and get a photo next time.


----------



## SplendidBob

WillYouStopDave said:


> I have a problem with my upper back. I don't remember when it started but my upper back has always been kind of sore if I stand for very long. Right between the shoulder blades. Since I was about 25 or so it's been getting worse and worse. I don't ever remember doing anything that caused it but who knows really. I've been thinking of trying to get some kind of brace for it because if I stand for more than about 15 minutes it starts up and gets worse and worse until I have to lay down or sit in a really soft recliner or something until it eases up. Gets to the point to where the pain is all I can think about.
> 
> When I used to be on my feet for 10 hour days it would start throbbing about 45 minutes in and get worse as the hours went by until I felt like it was just trying to push me down. Posture doesn't seem to help and in fact if I try to stand up straight it gets worse.
> 
> Chronic upper back pain seems to be rare. Most people who have back pain seem to complain about lower back pain. I never had that problem at all.


Yeh, upper back pain is rare because the discs are so well protected, so they typically don't do things like herniate and bulge due to injury.

What kind of pain is it? (burning? Ache? Throbbing?).

If you can mate (to state the obvious), you should get that looked at if its getting worse . Do you have any neurological symptoms? numbness, pins and needles, burning, cold sensation, or weakness in arms and hands? (if so its def worth investigating. Anything near to the spine is for sure something to take seriously (esp with neurological symptoms).

My pain is honestly more annoying and distracting. Being honest, the pain is low, 1-3/10. But its more of a chinese water torture thing. Always there, always that spot, always always always. I know I just have to carry on anyway though, even making posts like this wont be helping me in the long run hehe .


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mad


----------



## SofaKing

Like an outcast. At an office party with obnoxiously loud music and dancing. I can't tolerate the noise and don't care much for dancing.

I'm outside for the second time. I may have to ditch. Oh well, it's not like I'm "one of the gang" anyway.


----------



## harrison

SofaKing said:


> Like an outcast. *At an office party with obnoxiously loud music and dancing*. I can't tolerate the noise and don't care much for dancing.
> 
> I'm outside for the second time. I may have to ditch. Oh well, it's not like I'm "one of the gang" anyway.


Oh My God - that sounds revolting. I just wouldn't even go.

I'm too old for all that nonsense.


----------



## SofaKing

Yeah....pretty much up there among my nightmare scenarios.

And it's day two of our 20th year anniversary celebration. That's right...giving another unpaid day of life in exchange for mediocre food catering and to hear a speech on "effective communication" this morning.

Thankfully, this is it.


harrison said:


> Oh My God - that sounds revolting. I just wouldn't even go.


----------



## harrison

I'm feeling quite tired and with the distinct possibility that another migraine is coming on. It's sort of always like that at the moment - God I'm sick of it. Another busy afternoon today to see the family, but I'd like a few days at home and just taking it easy.


----------



## harrison

SofaKing said:


> Yeah....pretty much up there among my nightmare scenarios.
> 
> And it's day two of our 20th year anniversary celebration. That's right...giving another unpaid day of life in exchange for mediocre food catering and to hear a speech on "effective communication" this morning.
> 
> Thankfully, this is it.


Hopefully it'll be over soon mate. You're definitely not alone in feeling like that.

I'm so glad I don't have to do things like that.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Anxious and very, very lonely. What else is new...

I feel like crying. 



SofaKing said:


> Like an outcast. At an office party with obnoxiously loud music and dancing. *I can't tolerate the noise and don't care much for dancing.*
> 
> I'm outside for the second time. I may have to ditch. Oh well, it's not like I'm "one of the gang" anyway.





harrison said:


> *Oh My God - that sounds revolting.* I just wouldn't even go.
> 
> I'm too old for all that nonsense.


Us three seem to have similar environments that we do not get along with. :lol


----------



## Ekardy

Extremely guarded. Everyone seems to have ulterior motives.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ekardy said:


> Extremely guarded. Everyone seems to have ulterior motives.


Most people do.

Love, your friendly neighborhood cynic.


----------



## Ekardy

twytarn said:


> Most people do.
> 
> Love, your friendly neighborhood cynic.


I guess I had hope for most people.
I was proven wrong one too many times recently, on this site. Not everyone but most.
Might as well tattoo cynic on me.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ekardy said:


> I guess I had hope for most people.
> I was proven wrong one too many times recently, on this site. Not everyone but most.
> Might as well tattoo cynic on me.


That sucks, but I know what you mean. Just don't make it a permanent tattoo. Don't be me, lol.


----------



## Ekardy

twytarn said:


> That sucks, but I know what you mean. Just don't make it a permanent tattoo. Don't be me, lol.


I'll get it below my "No Ragrets" tattoo, lol.


----------



## Karsten

Ekardy said:


> Extremely guarded. Everyone seems to have ulterior motives.


Eh, this is me in a nutshell. It kinda sucks, but I don't know how to change this mindset when it FEELS correct.


----------



## Ekardy

Karsten said:


> Eh, this is me in a nutshell. It kinda sucks, but I don't know how to change this mindset when it FEELS correct.


I used to be "trust first until you give me a reason not to trust you". Now you need to give me a reason to trust you, lol.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> I used to be "trust first until you give me a reason not to trust you". Now you need to give me a reason to trust you, lol.


Me too. :hug


----------



## tea111red

This person I liked moved out of state, too. Things were so doomed....:cry


----------



## tea111red

I wish he would move here....:um


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tea111red said:


> This person I liked moved out of state, too. Things were so doomed....:cry


 I had that happen to me recently too. :hug :squeeze
(well, to a new province but we are still penpals at least)


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Everlily said:


> Soooo cuuute! I want to hug them all too, so fluffeh! :heart


Miss Persians fluff blows around in the wind, but she holds her head up and acts like I'm amazing look on her face. Cute, funny at the same time.



harrison said:


> I should take a photo sometime of the little cat that lives at a place I go past a lot in Carlton. I saw it again yesterday - it just lies on the footpath in the sun and lets anyone walking past give it a pat. It's the most relaxed and friendliest little cat I've ever seen. I'm not usually a big cat person but that one is very cute - sort of black and white and small.
> 
> Yesterday this young couple were bending down patting it for ages when I walked past. I'll try and get a photo next time.


If you can. 



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Mad


Awww. :hug



harrison said:


> I'm feeling quite tired and with the distinct possibility that another migraine is coming on. It's sort of always like that at the moment - God I'm sick of it. Another busy afternoon today to see the family, but I'd like a few days at home and just taking it easy.


Like someone on here said to me, go to your happy place and posted this -








Ekardy said:


> Extremely guarded. Everyone seems to have ulterior motives.


Aww. :hug



tea111red said:


> This person I liked moved out of state, too. Things were so doomed....:cry


:hug



tea111red said:


> I wish he would move here....:um


:hug


----------



## tea111red

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I had that happen to me recently too. :hug :squeeze
> (well, to a new province but we are still penpals at least)


Yeah...figures when I finally started to make some progress w/ a guy and have some hope, something would happen to derail things. Ugh. Hoping someone else on his level or better will come along and things will develop well, but that's really hard to imagine right now, lol.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tea111red said:


> Yeah...figures when I finally started to make some progress w/ a guy and have some hope, something would happen to derail things. Ugh. Hoping someone else on his level or better will come along and things will develop well, but that's really hard to imagine right now, lol.


In my case she has a personality disorder so I don't think it would have worked out in the end. Kinda feels like I dodged a huge bullet though, seeing as she was not in treatment for it. I hope she gets the help she needs in her new place.


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> Yeah...figures when I finally started to make some progress w/ a guy and have some hope, something would happen to derail things. Ugh. Hoping someone else on his level or better will come along and things will develop well, but that's really hard to imagine right now, lol.


If a guy comes along with watercress well then you know he's on the level.


----------



## tea111red

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> In my case she has a personality disorder so I don't think it would have worked out in the end. Kinda feels like I dodged a huge bullet though, seeing as she was not in treatment for it. I hope she gets the help she needs in her new place.


Yeah... maybe there are people more suited for us out there.

It's hard not knowing and having to wait to finally meet the person, for me, though.


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> If a guy comes along with watercress well then you know he's on the level.


lol, maybe!


----------



## harrison

Another Sunday where I can't even go up and see my son - I feel sick. And very tired. My son's birthday this Friday so hopefully I'll be okay for that.

Maybe I should have a blood test to make sure I'm okay. I shouldn't be feeling like this so regularly.


----------



## birddookie

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @*birddookie*
> 
> I have to start getting up two hours early to go to work just to save money for drinks. Money has gotten tight again even though I've been getting more hours at work. I've been saving money for a mattress and the neighbors want ten dollars total in gas to and back from work everyday. I have to put 5 dollars in for the people I live with also and I pay rent so it's like I'm paying extra. I'll never save to get out of here. I basically have to save literally all my money now so that's what I'm going to do. And I lost like 50 dollars I had saved for a mattress. I don't know where it went. I'll look again. It might have just gotten lost somewhere. I check my drawer everyday to make sure it's in the same spot. I did just find $30 somewhere not that long ago so there's that at least. I had $160 saved up and had to use some of it for something else important. I already told my neighbors I'm walking to work tomorrow. Even walking fast takes an hour to get there. I'm just gonna have to do what I gotta do. I always make sure I save for the next paycheck and then some. I spend some and save some.


Sorry about your situation. and hope you can find your missing money. Congratz on finding the 30 dollars. :boogie I believe you can get out of this situation, have you asked the manager what you can do to move up in the company, or try finding jobs along the route to work? Also, if there is something you want to do that involves going to school, that could be worth going to college for. What would you like to do? I Hope things start turn around for you.:squeeze:



Vip3r said:


> Thank you


Your welcome! :smile2:

@*Ekardy* Please stay guarded, there seem to be some questionable people. Most of us are good folks, but a few always cause problems. If you get that cynic tattoo, will you spell it synic.:grin2:

@*tea111red* Did you get any contact information, and how far did he move away? If you know him well and want to visit each other from time to time, that could work out. Good luck!:smile2:

@harrison Sorry to hear, hope it's nothing serious, and you can go visit your son soon. :hug


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Like someone on here said to me, go to your happy place and posted this -


I think there's something physically wrong at the moment. I get dizzy a lot, and get lots of migraines - more now that I've stopped my bipolar meds. I don't like that stuff but it did stop the migraines. I'm hoping it's just because of that - but I'll go and have a blood test again this week - haven't had everything checked for a while.


----------



## harrison

birddookie said:


> Sorry to hear, hope it's nothing serious, and you can go visit your son soon. :hug


Thank you - I hope so too. It's the second time I've had to tell him I couldn't come up to the house. It's very annoying.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I think there's something physically wrong at the moment. I get dizzy a lot, and get lots of migraines - more now that I've stopped my bipolar meds. I don't like that stuff but it did stop the migraines. I'm hoping it's just because of that - but I'll go and have a blood test again this week - haven't had everything checked for a while.


Oh, ok. 

I hope the test's, checks show ẃhat the cause is.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Depressed out of my head. Tired of being miserable, hopeless and trapped. I wish there was some way to find some peace or joy in this life. Everything feels pointless.


----------



## SofaKing

Pete Beale said:


> Depressed out of my head. Tired of being miserable, hopeless and trapped. I wish there was some way to find some peace or joy in this life. Everything feels pointless.


Try this today...take an urban hike and find someone else who appears to be less fortunate than you and help them in some way. Doesn't have to be with money. It could just be a kind word. Helping others is just one of several techniques I've read about living a more content life. Maybe this will give you a mission or purpose, at least for today.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> Try this today...take an urban hike and find someone else who appears to be less fortunate than you and help them in some way. Doesn't have to be with money. It could just be a kind word. Helping others is just one of several techniques I've read about living a more content life. Maybe this will give you a mission or purpose, at least for today.


I've done that before mate and it's worked, but now I feel deeply depressed. I'm too depressed. The problem is at the end of the day, I have to come back here and face my thoughts, and how deeply ****ed up I am. I'm tired. There's been too much wrong with me, for too long, and falling out with her has totally ****ed me up. I need a ****ing miracle to get out of this ****. I'm tired. So ****ing tired of being this low functioning man child. The depression is so bad now I'm having to drag myself out bed just use the toilet. I haven't been outside for about a month again.


----------



## SofaKing

All the more reason to get out again. Fight for it.


Pete Beale said:


> I've done that before mate and it's worked, but now I feel deeply depressed. I'm too depressed. The problem is at the end of the day, I have to come back here and face my thoughts, and how deeply ****ed up I am. I'm tired. There's been too much wrong with me, for too long, and falling out with her has totally ****ed me up. I need a ****ing miracle to get out of this ****. I'm tired. So ****ing tired of being this low functioning man child. The depression is so bad now I'm having to drag myself out bed just use the toilet. I haven't been outside for about a month again.


----------



## MCHB

Forgot how powerful of an emotion that self hatred actually is. >_<


I'll be okay, just yeah.


----------



## Ekardy

MCHB said:


> Forgot how powerful of an emotion that self hatred actually is. >_<
> 
> I'll be okay, just yeah.


Same.

You'll be okay. :rub


----------



## Zatch

Hungry. I want to eat some ***.


----------



## C137

Sad and frustrated.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@birddookie

College isn't an option right now for me. But my produce manager took me home one day. Whenever I'm low on money, I'll get her to take me home. My neighbors are strict. If I don't give them the money the same day they take me to and back from work, they won't give me a ride. Even if I'm low on money and need it for drinks at work to keep me hydrated, they won't take me. That's messed up. People can be horrible out there and I haven't been treated good by many people. The people at work are nice, though. And I asked for more hours, too. I'm working 31 hours next week. So, they're bringing my hours up.


----------



## EarthDominator




----------



## Vip3r

Lazy and tired. I took the trash off, and got some gas for the lawn mower but now I am feeling too lazy to actually mow. I think I will put it off till tomorrow. Although, I should do it today since my neighbor is gone, and she wouldn't be coming over to complain about something.


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Lazy and tired. I took the trash off, and got some gas for the lawn mower but now I am feeling too lazy to actually mow. I think I will put it off till tomorrow. Although, I should do it today since my neighbor is gone, and she wouldn't be coming over to complain about something.


Would this be too passive aggressive?


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> Would this be too passive aggressive?


That would be perfect! :clap :haha


----------



## discopotato

Embarrassed.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Nauseated.


----------



## 0589471

twytarn said:


> Nauseated.


same. =/


----------



## SamanthaStrange

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> same. =/


:squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Angry and frustrated about life.


----------



## SofaKing

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Angry and frustrated about life.


Sorry man...I know how this feels.


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Sorry man...I know how this feels.


Thanks for responding, if you want to know more info check out my new blog post. It explains why lol


----------



## roxslide

So ****ing exhausted. So much driving, working, packing/moving stuff, etc. I will be relieved when all of this is over jeez. I should go back to work today but I'm so tired. Hm.


----------



## roxslide

roxslide said:


> So ****ing exhausted. So much driving, working, packing/moving stuff, etc. I will be relieved when all of this is over jeez. I should go back to work today but I'm so tired. Hm.


But it's all worth it because I finally found a place!! No more roommate BS. Now just apartment building and neighbor BS haha! And I'll finally live in the city now! In my favorite neighborhood! I think I'll text one of my past coworkers who lives there now too. (if I can get the courage)

Man I'm so psyched to be crammed in my tiny micro studio. No more anxiety about coming home. No more starving myself or eating disgusting fast food because I am too afraid to cook and see my roommates in the kitchen. I can finally eat perishable food at home now. No more panic attacks about parties or sounds of roommates moving around. No more roommates stealing my meds. I can walk around naked now! I can do a lot of things anxiety free now yay.

I would say 50 percent of my current anxiety is due to my roommates, so a 50 percent reduction is great!! (until I find something else to fret about lol)

Still not scot free as of now since I'm not moved in and they could take away my approval I guess but w/e


----------



## Great Expectations

roxslide said:


> But it's all worth it because I finally found a place!! No more roommate BS. Now just apartment building and neighbor BS haha! And I'll finally live in the city now! In my favorite neighborhood! I think I'll text one of my past coworkers who lives there now too. (if I can get the courage)
> 
> Man I'm so psyched to be crammed in my tiny micro studio. No more anxiety about coming home. No more starving myself or eating disgusting fast food because I am too afraid to cook and see my roommates in the kitchen. I can finally eat perishable food at home now. No more panic attacks about parties or sounds of roommates moving around. No more roommates stealing my meds. I can walk around naked now! I can do a lot of things anxiety free now yay.
> 
> I would say 50 percent of my current anxiety is due to my roommates, so a 50 percent reduction is great!! (until I find something else to fret about lol)
> 
> Still not scot free as of now since I'm not moved in and they could take away my approval I guess but w/e


Congratulations, that's awesome!


----------



## rockyraccoon

roxslide said:


> But it's all worth it because I finally found a place!! No more roommate BS. Now just apartment building and neighbor BS haha! And I'll finally live in the city now! In my favorite neighborhood! I think I'll text one of my past coworkers who lives there now too. (if I can get the courage)
> 
> Man I'm so psyched to be crammed in my tiny micro studio. No more anxiety about coming home. No more starving myself or eating disgusting fast food because I am too afraid to cook and see my roommates in the kitchen. I can finally eat perishable food at home now. No more panic attacks about parties or sounds of roommates moving around. No more roommates stealing my meds. I can walk around naked now! I can do a lot of things anxiety free now yay.
> 
> I would say 50 percent of my current anxiety is due to my roommates, so a 50 percent reduction is great!! (until I find something else to fret about lol)
> 
> Still not scot free as of now since I'm not moved in and they could take away my approval I guess but w/e


It really is blissful and empowering to have your own place. You automatically experience a new sense of freedom and yes your anxiety will greatly diminish. Good job:smile2:


----------



## komorikun

roxslide said:


> But it's all worth it because I finally found a place!! No more roommate BS. Now just apartment building and neighbor BS haha! And I'll finally live in the city now! In my favorite neighborhood! I think I'll text one of my past coworkers who lives there now too. (if I can get the courage)
> 
> Man I'm so psyched to be crammed in my tiny micro studio. No more anxiety about coming home. No more starving myself or eating disgusting fast food because I am too afraid to cook and see my roommates in the kitchen. I can finally eat perishable food at home now. No more panic attacks about parties or sounds of roommates moving around. No more roommates stealing my meds. I can walk around naked now! I can do a lot of things anxiety free now yay.
> 
> I would say 50 percent of my current anxiety is due to my roommates, so a 50 percent reduction is great!! (until I find something else to fret about lol)
> 
> Still not scot free as of now since I'm not moved in and they could take away my approval I guess but w/e


Yeah, living with roommates is total hell. Living alone is a zillion times better.

Does the micro studio have a kitchen? I know some only have a mini-fridge and microwave.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Terrible as usual. I feel so normal but so deeply ****ed up at the same time. :|


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

roxslide said:


> But it's all worth it because I finally found a place!! No more roommate BS. Now just apartment building and neighbor BS haha! And I'll finally live in the city now! In my favorite neighborhood! I think I'll text one of my past coworkers who lives there now too. (if I can get the courage)
> 
> Man I'm so psyched to be crammed in my tiny micro studio. No more anxiety about coming home. No more starving myself or eating disgusting fast food because I am too afraid to cook and see my roommates in the kitchen. I can finally eat perishable food at home now. No more panic attacks about parties or sounds of roommates moving around. No more roommates stealing my meds. I can walk around naked now! I can do a lot of things anxiety free now yay.
> 
> I would say 50 percent of my current anxiety is due to my roommates, so a 50 percent reduction is great!! (until I find something else to fret about lol)
> 
> Still not scot free as of now since I'm not moved in and they could take away my approval I guess but w/e


Awesome, congrats.


----------



## SplendidBob

Final follow up therapy session with psychologist today. Discharged from secondary care. Scary now that line of support has been cut totally (I could ring her until this point if I needed to, though our therapy sessions ended a while ago). Sad, and a little scared.


----------



## CNikki

Some body aches. But other than that I guess okay.


----------



## Crisigv

Down, as usual


----------



## Suchness

Not too bad, had pretty good sleep.


----------



## SofaKing

Crisigv said:


> Down, as usual


Me too....it'll pass for both of us.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

suchness said:


> not too bad, had pretty good sleep.


How do you sleep with that red light?

KENNY!


----------



## harrison

So sick of all these migraine headaches. I just want to see if I'm okay without my bipolar medication for a while. But ever since I stopped them I have these headaches - they affect my vision, make me unsteady on my feet. Had one again this morning but after a migraine tablet and a small sleep it's better. Just leaves me drained and tired.


----------



## Schmetterling

A bunch of crappy/negative/bad feelings together, plus my general anxiety and depression attack me constantly, plus my bad health, but this is my everyday's life. I just give a smile to others and everything's "fine".


----------



## harrison

Schmetterling said:


> A bunch of crappy/negative/bad feelings together, plus my general anxiety and depression attack me constantly, plus my bad health, but this is my everyday's life. I just give a smile to others and everything's "fine".


Sorry to hear that.

You have a username with a distinctly German feel to it, you live in Mexico, and you speak Japanese (?) - I think it is anyway. That's an interesting combination.


----------



## Maslow

I feel like I wish WWIII would break out.


----------



## birddookie

harrison said:


> Thank you - I hope so too. It's the second time I've had to tell him I couldn't come up to the house. It's very annoying.


You're welcome! : ) Is it possible for you to move closer to your son?



PurplePeopleEater said:


> @*birddookie*
> 
> College isn't an option right now for me. But my produce manager took me home one day. Whenever I'm low on money, I'll get her to take me home. My neighbors are strict. If I don't give them the money the same day they take me to and back from work, they won't give me a ride. Even if I'm low on money and need it for drinks at work to keep me hydrated, they won't take me. That's messed up. People can be horrible out there and I haven't been treated good by many people. The people at work are nice, though. And I asked for more hours, too. I'm working 31 hours next week. So, they're bringing my hours up.


Sorry to hear that college isn't an option for you right now, have an idea of what you want to do though? Might not need college, some skills can be learned without school. : ) I think your neighbors are also charging you too much for gas. If you can walk to your job in an hour, that is about 4 miles away. 16 miles a day, unless they have a huge gas guzzler, 10 bucks is too much. I would say if you go 5x a week 30 bucks is all that is needed. It's called being neighborly, they seem to be gouging you, unless the drive is a good bit more than 4 miles. It's a bad situation, and if you help them out, it's even worse. Hopefully you can get a car. I'm glad that people up at the job are nice. Congratulations on the hours increase!:yay With the holidays coming up, I'm sure you will go over 40 hours. : D I use to work full time at a grocery store in College. : )

@discopotato :squeeze: Hope you redeem yourself next time, and feel ecstatic.

@twytarn @A Toxic Butterfly I know a friend that can help y'all with that. He's has purrfect reviews on Yelp. ; )










@iAmCodeMonkey Best wishes for better times. :hug:

@funnynihilist Hope you have a great day tomorrow. :squeeze

@roxslide Congratz on the move, hope you enjoy living on your own,:boogie

@Pete Beale Best wishes for you, and hope you don't feel messed up anymore. :squeeze

@BeardedMessiahBob Hope you stay strong Bob. :hug

@CNikki Glad you're doing okay, hopefully a good nights rest can get rid of those aches. : )

@Crisigv :squeeze Sorry to hear you're feeling down, hope tomorrow is a brighter day for you.


----------



## harrison

birddookie said:


> You're welcome! : ) Is it possible for you to move closer to your son?


I think he's moving back in with his mother for a few months soon when his lease is up. Not sure how that will work out but it'll be more convenient for me for a little while. It's his birthday this Friday, so we're going out for lunch or dinner - not sure which yet.

And that's a funny gif there - made me laugh.


----------



## 3stacks

Unwanted, ugly, lonely and just no where near good enough


----------



## Suchness

twytarn said:


> How do you sleep with that red light?
> 
> KENNY!


OMG it's Kenny!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@birddookie I'm not sure. I could design an app and start from there. I've thought about it before but that would take forever. I can't even save for a car, either. And the people I live with made me pay them ten dollars just for me to go to Walmart to get my phone minutes. :/ They charge me to go almost anywhere now. It's ridiculous. That's why I'm just gonna have to make sure I have over 50 dollars on my card and just do it over the phone instead. But I like going out every now and then, too. :/ The woman that lives here just went to the beach and bought some curtains and a few pictures for her room so I know she has way more money than me. But they just want to live off most of my money I worked hard for. I should just be lazy at work now cause there's no point in working hard if they're going to take like half of my money.

They always bring my hours up and down at work for some reason. I need the hours badly.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired. 

Good night SAS -


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Stressed out, and alone.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit better than yesterday, we got my issue resolved.



twytarn said:


> Stressed out, and alone.


 :hug :squeeze



3stacks said:


> Unwanted, ugly, lonely and just no where near good enough


  :rub


----------



## Girlinterrupted333

Comfortably Numb


----------



## unemployment simulator

Like music is about the only thing I'm motivated about at the moment. I am so tired exhausted and run down from stress and insomnia that I don't have much enthusiasm for little else.


----------



## harrison

Jesus I feel amazing.

I'm not sure I'm supposed to feel this good.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> Jesus I feel amazing.
> 
> I'm not sure I'm supposed to feel this good.


What's your secret?


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> What's your secret?


1. Be bipolar

2. Stop your medication


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Crappy again.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> 1. Be bipolar
> 
> 2. Stop your medication


I thought it might have been the highs of bi polar.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> I thought it might have been the highs of bi polar.


It is - and it's already starting to get too much. You feel like God at first - so incredible. Then you're head starts to feel like it's going to explode. (not so good)

This always happens when I stop my pills, but I bloody hate them. Will see how it goes for a while though.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> It is - and it's already starting to get too much. You feel like God at first - so incredible. The you're head starts to feel like it's going to explode. (not so good)
> 
> This always happens when I stop my pills, but I bloody hate them. Will see how it goes for a while though.


Damn, be careful.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> Damn, be careful.


Thanks - I'll be okay. I've done this before.

This is usually when I'd go to the airport - but can't really do that atm.


----------



## Schmetterling

harrison said:


> Sorry to hear that.
> 
> You have a username with a distinctly German feel to it, you live in Mexico, and you speak Japanese (?) - I think it is anyway. That's an interesting combination.


Off-topic answer here ↓ ↓ ↓ 

* *




Thanks Harrison 
Some years ago I moved to Germany (did it all for the person I still love, long story), lived, studied and worked there for a while, that's why I speak German, I also lived in Belgium ("Flanders" dutch-speaking part), therefore I acquired some Nederlandse taal knowledge. I'm currently learning Japanese which I can already read and write, I was also into Finnish but had to stop, bc my brain was kinda exploding. :eyes ...I'm almost talentless, but languages are one of the very few things I'm really good at.


----------



## Suchness

twytarn said:


> How do you sleep with that red light?
> 
> KENNY!


I switched apartments with my neighbour lol. She takes sleeping pills anyway so she can sleep thru anything.

Kenny's red light got nothing on her!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Suchness said:


> I switched apartments with my neighbour lol. She takes sleeping pills anyway so she can sleep thru anything.
> 
> Kenny's red light got nothing on her!


Mr Marbles? :afr


----------



## Suchness

twytarn said:


> Mr Marbles? :afr


He's harmless!


----------



## harrison

Schmetterling said:


> Off-topic answer here ↓ ↓ ↓
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Thanks Harrison
> Some years ago I moved to Germany (did it all for the person I still love, long story), lived, studied and worked there for a while, that's why I speak German, I also lived in Belgium ("Flanders" dutch-speaking part), therefore I acquired some Nederlandse taal knowledge. I'm currently learning Japanese which I can already read and write, I was also into Finnish but had to stop, bc my brain was kinda exploding. :eyes ...I'm almost talentless, but languages are one of the very few things I'm really good at.


That's very impressive. I lived in Germany for a while back in my 20's - in Black Forest. I never really learnt much German though, just a few words. I think I was a bit lazy - plus it's really quite difficult. I've been learning Indonesian on and off for ages but still not fluent.

You must have a natural affinity for languages - Japanese looks pretty hard too. Good for you. 

Edit: also - does @A Toxic Butterfly know what it means?


----------



## Everlily

I feel hungry. I'm craving junk food sooo badly but better to be strict.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Crappy again.


 :hug


----------



## Ekardy

harrison said:


> Edit: also - does @A Toxic Butterfly know what it means?


Pretty soon, this is going to be a butterfly garden.


----------



## harrison

Ekardy said:


> Pretty soon, this is going to be a butterfly garden.


The German word actually has a nice sound to it. 

(I had no idea what it meant until I put it into Google translate.)

Also - did you know that Changi airport in Singapore has a butterly garden inside the airport?

Bit shakey but not bad:






I love Singapore airport.


----------



## Ekardy

harrison said:


> The German word actually has a nice sound to it.
> 
> (I had no idea what it meant until I put it into Google translate.)
> 
> Also - did you know that Changi airport in Singapore has a butterly garden inside the airport?
> 
> Bit shakey but not bad:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I love Singapore airport.


That's beautiful; great way to decompress and relax before a flight. I loved the narrative :lol.


----------



## harrison

Ekardy said:


> That's beautiful; great way to decompress and relax before a flight. I loved the narrative :lol.


Yeah - it's cute. 

Singapore's a great airport - consistently voted best in the world for ages. I've spent long periods there sometimes - they even have a transit hotel you can go to without even clearing Customs. Can just go for a nap if you want for a few hours. Most things in Singapore are pretty slick.


----------



## Ekardy

harrison said:


> Yeah - it's cute.
> 
> Singapore's a great airport - consistently voted best in the world for ages. I've spent long periods there sometimes - they even have a transit hotel you can go to without even clearing Customs. Can just go for a nap if you want for a few hours. Most things in Singapore are pretty slick.


I would love to go to Singapore one day. I have a friend that lives there and plays professional paintball. I was trying to go to the Paintball World Cup in Malaysia this year but won't be able to go. I'm trying to hopefully go next year and from there take a quick trip to Singapore.


----------



## SofaKing

Like so much caca...even when I think things are looking up, it's just a big bird pooping.


----------



## harrison

SofaKing said:


> Like so much caca...even when I think things are looking up, it's just a big bird pooping.


Hang in there mate.


----------



## unemployment simulator

finally got a decent nights rest! feeling rested.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

ANX1 said:


> :hug


Thanks for the hug. I need it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks for the hug. I need it.


You're welcome.


----------



## Citrine79

Feeling pretty down these days. I don’t like the fall...cooler temperatures, less daylight, Halloween (always disliked it even as a kid). Also found out a few days ago that I will most likely be losing my job in the near future.


----------



## Great Expectations

Schmetterling said:


> A bunch of crappy/negative/bad feelings together, plus my general anxiety and depression attack me constantly, plus my bad health, but this is my everyday's life. I just give a smile to others and everything's "fine".


:hug

I know you love Japanese culture and language. I hope this brings a smile to your face.


----------



## harrison

I'm very sick of all these headaches.


----------



## SofaKing

harrison said:


> I'm very sick of all these headaches.


Sorry, man...something to look after.


----------



## harrison

SofaKing said:


> Sorry, man...something to look after.


Thanks mate. I think it's probably from stopping these bipolar pills. I was on a high dose for quite a while - but they make me groggy and tired. I don't like them. I may have to start them again eventually but we'll see.

Hope things are alright with you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Citrine79 said:


> Feeling pretty down these days. I don't like the fall...cooler temperatures, less daylight, Halloween (always disliked it even as a kid). Also found out a few days ago that I will most likely be losing my job in the near future.


:hug

Changes in ones life can be depressing, stressful.

Most likely sounds like a maybe.

Getting CV written up and potentially having a new job lined up would be the next step (been given time to look for one) if it is a definitely

Chin up, stay strong.


----------



## anxious87

Frustrated with frustrated people who claim anxiety is all in the head. I don't know why it hurts, but it does.


----------



## mobc1990

Sleepy...I have got a good night sleep,still feeling sleepy in the morning


----------



## Crisigv

Sick of it all


----------



## Ekardy

Mixed emotions.


----------



## PandaBearx

Sick 🤒


----------



## thomassusan322

Frustrated


----------



## Girlinterrupted333

The crisp cold air initiates the downward spiral of motivation


----------



## Vip3r

I am so tired I think I could sleep while they're doing my tattoo.


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> I am so tired I think I could sleep while they're doing my tattoo.


Finally! :yay


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> Finally! :yay


Yep, tomorrow is the day.


----------



## roxslide

Btw thanks everyone who congratulated on my last post! 

Right now I'm ok emotionally but feeling very stressed. Lots of moving stuff and financial stuff (though most of the financial stuff should be sorted out by the 6th). Also stressing about work/parking situation. The apartment somehow lost my key so I am waiting on them and currently don't have a clear place to sleep the next few days.

I really want to start a new chapter by the end of this year and change jobs and stuff but it's scary. I told my boss yesterday that I plan on leaving in ~2 months or so.


----------



## Crisigv

So miserable


----------



## Ekardy

roxslide said:


> Btw thanks everyone who congratulated on my last post!
> 
> Right now I'm ok emotionally but feeling very stressed. Lots of moving stuff and financial stuff (though most of the financial stuff should be sorted out by the 6th). Also stressing about work/parking situation. The apartment somehow lost my key so I am waiting on them and currently don't have a clear place to sleep the next few days.
> 
> I really want to start a new chapter by the end of this year and change jobs and stuff but it's scary. I told my boss yesterday that I plan on leaving in ~2 months or so.


I'm happy for you! 
Can't wait to hear how your first week in your new place is! Nothing like having that sense of accomplishment once everything is moved in and settled.


----------



## ShotInTheDark

As always, I feel as how I'm actually are - like ***t.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

roxslide said:


> Btw thanks everyone who congratulated on my last post!
> 
> Right now I'm ok emotionally but feeling very stressed. Lots of moving stuff and financial stuff (though most of the financial stuff should be sorted out by the 6th). Also stressing about work/parking situation. The apartment somehow lost my key so I am waiting on them and currently don't have a clear place to sleep the next few days.
> 
> I really want to start a new chapter by the end of this year and change jobs and stuff but it's scary. I told my boss yesterday that I plan on leaving in ~2 months or so.


You're welcome. 

First chapter to this neverending story. 



Crisigv said:


> So miserable


Awww. :hug



ShotInTheDark said:


> As always, I feel as how I'm actually are - like ***t.


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## Mur

Amused


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

... somehow lonely and content, all at once.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> So miserable


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## Overcast

Stupid. I was craving banana pancakes for breakfast and I somehow managed to mess up the recipe. I'm amazed at my ability to **** up such a simple dish lmao :lol


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Sad


----------



## funnynihilist

Bad


----------



## birddookie

harrison said:


> I think he's moving back in with his mother for a few months soon when his lease is up. Not sure how that will work out but it'll be more convenient for me for a little while. It's his birthday this Friday, so we're going out for lunch or dinner - not sure which yet.
> 
> And that's a funny gif there - made me laugh.


That's great to hear, hopefully he'll get a home closer by next time. If push comes to shove go out for Linner. : D

Thanks! : )



PurplePeopleEater said:


> @*birddookie* I'm not sure. I could design an app and start from there. I've thought about it before but that would take forever. I can't even save for a car, either. And the people I live with made me pay them ten dollars just for me to go to Walmart to get my phone minutes. :/ They charge me to go almost anywhere now. It's ridiculous. That's why I'm just gonna have to make sure I have over 50 dollars on my card and just do it over the phone instead. But I like going out every now and then, too. :/ The woman that lives here just went to the beach and bought some curtains and a few pictures for her room so I know she has way more money than me. But they just want to live off most of my money I worked hard for. I should just be lazy at work now cause there's no point in working hard if they're going to take like half of my money.
> 
> They always bring my hours up and down at work for some reason. I need the hours badly.


Have you tried out an aptitude test? It will ask you some questions and determine a career that might suite you. Here's one I found out when reflecting on what to do when I was laid off last year. https://www.whatcareerisrightforme.com/career-aptitude-test.php. Sorry to hear that :squeeze, and hope you can save for a car in the near future. Are there any other neighbors you can talk to who might just charge 5 dollars a ride? Or you can make those car rides worth it, if going to or from work ask to stop by Walmart on the way, or on the way back, and anywhere else you need to go. I think you walking is on the right track, if you can cut corners elsewhere and budget, that could help go towards a car for you.

Yeah if she's charging you 40-50 bucks a week, and it only cost her a quarter/half a tank of gas, she netted 48 dollars, multiply that by a few months and she has a nice budget to go to the beach on.Your job isn't making those people act that way, I would slack up at the work around the house. If you all are paying equal pay to live in the place, you should only be responsible for what you do, and help with the house the same amount as the others. So dishes for instance, maybe buy your own and use them and clean them and take them back into your room. It's a pain to do some of these things, but it looks like those folks are using you. I would even go as far as getting my own trashcan that you put everything you throw away in your room. I've seen some of your post, you said they don't do anything. So let crap build up on them, keep your room and the bathroom you use clean and let that be it. Confront them to do a schedule of the chores and y'all alternate if they complain, which they will. They are taking you for granted, and when they realize how much you do after dishes pile up, or the trash starts smelling, they will be more willing to give you free rides if they aren't willing to do their share of the chores. Really hope you can find a way out of the place, it seems bad. Please keep doing your job right as it's not causing the problems, and hard work can lead to a promotion. :squeeze

Full time alleviates the hours problem. Most places work you 40+, and you can't work less than 30 as a full time employee... unless you're salary. : D

@*PandaBearx* Hope you feel better. :squeeze

@*Ekardy* I hope your positive emotions topple over the negative ones, and you can have a great weekend.:squeeze

@*Girlinterrupted333* Agreed. As the coldness swells, staying by the warm fire stops all other desires. ; )

@*Vip3r* Watch out they might tattoo you all up. : D








@*roxslide* Your welcome Rox! I hope everything works out for you, and that key turns up soon. What new career field are you wanting to enter?:squeeze

@*Crisigv* Hope you feel better. :squeeze

@*ShotInTheDark* Best wishes on the ****y feeling to go away:squeeze

@*iAmCodeMonkey* :squeeze Might be a good thing. Hope all goes well for you Monkey.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@birddookie They make me do everything every day. Even if I'm tired. I have to take out the trash, sweep, vacuum, do laundry, clean the toilet and sink, dishes, clean the kitchen counter, and clean the refrigerator, and make tea and like two other things. It's ridiculous. Even if they do a little bit, they still make me do the whole house everyday.

And my job doesn't want to work me full time for some reason. I asked for more hours about 2 months ago and they want me to work in seafood for one hour each day I work in produce next week. So four hours total. I don't understand. I usually work three hours a day there. But their reason is cause they don't want to "overwork" me. I keep telling them I need the money but they just don't care.  I work hard for nothing.


----------



## AffinityWing

Empty, completely hopeless


----------



## Chris S W

Sad. A coworker who I quite like was working at my place of work for the last day today. I wanted to wish them well and say goodbye but I couldn't. I was planning on doing it even though I was anxious but they were working close to 2 others so I couldn't do it. Was a horrible feeling leaving there like that and have felt terrible since. I choked up when I left, and broke down and cried when I got home. I'm sick to death of this social anxiety controlling me.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

AffinityWing said:


> Empty, completely hopeless


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## Kanarko

Terrible.

It has been like this for the past few days.


----------



## Fun Spirit

On overdrive.
Like my mind is going. 
I been staying away at night than normal,
I need to find work,
I need to and want write my Comic Script,
I'm editing and uploading stuff but had to stop because my fingers and wrists are feeling tired from being on my laptop. 
And my attention is off due to a lack of sleep


----------



## AffinityWing

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thanks man! :frown2:


----------



## Wintrow

angry and hateful


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Black As Day said:


> On overdrive.
> Like my mind is going.
> I been staying away at night than normal,
> I need to find work,
> I need to and want write my Comic Script,
> I'm editing and uploading stuff but had to stop because my fingers and wrists are feeling tired from being on my laptop.
> And my attention is off due to a lack of sleep


:hug


----------



## harrison

Still quite full from all that food last night. Don't think I like Chinese that much nowadays.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Still quite full from all that food last night. Don't think I like Chinese that much nowadays.


I gather that means the birthday dinner was a good one.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> I gather that means the birthday dinner was a good one.


Yes, it was good thanks mate - spent the afternoon at my favourite mall with my wife and then we met him at the restaurant for dinner. He had to go off somewhere to see his mates - but we got to spend a couple of hours with him and he seemed to enjoy himself.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yes, it was good thanks mate - spent the afternoon at my favourite mall with my wife and then we met him at the restaurant for dinner. He had to go off somewhere to see his mates - but we got to spend a couple of hours with him and he seemed to enjoy himself.


You're welcome. 

That sounds like heaven (close to).


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired. Depressed. Lonely.


----------



## harrison

twytarn said:


> Tired. Depressed. Lonely.


Sorry to hear that. I was just going to ban you for not changing your username back again but that thread changes so fast I'd probably end up saying it to @funnynihilist instead.


----------



## Vip3r

twytarn said:


> Tired. Depressed. Lonely.


I know the feeling. I hope you feel better. :rub


----------



## SamanthaStrange

harrison said:


> Sorry to hear that. I was just going to ban you for not changing your username back again but that thread changes so fast I'd probably end up saying it to @funnynihilist instead.


Thanks. Yeah, I guess I'm sticking with this name for now, lol.



Vip3r said:


> I know the feeling. I hope you feel better. :rub


Thanks.


----------



## Crisigv

My eyes are burning from crying.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Excited for the Port Elgin car show tomorrow with mother.



twytarn said:


> Tired. Depressed. Lonely.




Here is a heartfelt hug from me to you: :hug :squeeze



Crisigv said:


> My eyes are burning from crying.




Here is another heartfelt hug. From me to you: :hug :squeeze

Hope you feel better soon.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

twytarn said:


> Tired. Depressed. Lonely.


:hug



Crisigv said:


> My eyes are burning from crying.


:hug


----------



## riverbird

Broken and alone. And drunk, which obviously didn't help.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

riverbird said:


> Broken and alone. And drunk, which obviously didn't help.




Here is a heartfelt hug from me to you: :hug :squeeze


----------



## Fun Spirit

ANX1 said:


> :hug


Thanks for the head rub
LOL


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

riverbird said:


> Broken and alone. And drunk, which obviously didn't help.


 :hug



Black As Day said:


> Thanks for the head rub
> LOL


You're welcome. 

Head rub.  :lol

I use it as it turns a frown to a smile. 

Other one seems to be for women hugging men (blue for men, pink for women).

I think need another one to use.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

scintilla said:


> Kind of lonely and down. I guess that's why I'm here again. I'm trying not to feel that way. Idk. Sometimes I wish I was a better person. I wish I was more likeable/desirable and knew how to connect better with other people. I don't know what I'm missing or how to fix that part of myself. I try my best to do the right thing but I feel like in end everything I do always turns out wrong.


 :hug

That is most likely Anxiety with socializing and practicing socializing (learning social etiquette). Some people see that Anxiety and take advantage, so is not always your fault (don't wear heart on sleeve so to speak and have to be confident in what you want to do, etc). Sometimes personality differences in which you have to have their personality to blend in. Some people mirror behaviour to blend in.

In addition, Anxiety can make us rush something, be distracted and basically not think of what is infront of us which results in mistakes that makes Anxiety worse. Even make social mistakes.

When I did a dealing with Anxiety course they taught us to focus on an object in the middle of a room, it's shape, colour, etc and if mind wanders to those worrying thoughts, refocus on the object, it's shape, colour, etc.

Same with focusing on an object behind a person, not always their face / head.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel horrible, emotionally and physically. And I deserve it. I don't deserve to ever feel good.


----------



## Fun Spirit

ANX1 said:


> :hug
> 
> You're welcome.
> 
> Head rub.  :lol
> 
> I use it as it turns a frown to a smile.
> 
> Other one seems to be for women hugging men (blue for men, pink for women).
> 
> I think need another one to use.


Aw: )
: O
I never notice that until you said it: O
Cool; D


----------



## Great Expectations

scintilla said:


> Kind of lonely and down. I guess that's why I'm here again. I'm trying not to feel that way. Idk. Sometimes I wish I was a better person. I wish I was more likeable/desirable and knew how to connect better with other people. I don't know what I'm missing or how to fix that part of myself. *I try my best to do the right thing *but I feel like in end everything I do always turns out wrong.


I think most people feel that way. Maybe what we really need to learn is how to accept ourselves - faults and all. Nothing in life will turn out ideally as long as we are trying to do the right thing and be better people, that's enough.

One broken soul to another. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Black As Day said:


> Aw: )
> : O
> I never notice that until you said it: O
> Cool; D


That is if I can find one. :sus :stu


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I feel horrible, emotionally and physically. And I deserve it. I don't deserve to ever feel good.


Sorry to hear that you feel horrible. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired from a long day out with mother. The car show was fun at least.


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling tired,was suppose to wake up at 8 to visit doctor,but woke up at 10.Might go later on


----------



## PandaBearx

Low-key sad


----------



## Vip3r

Achy and exhausted. I can't believe I had to wait 3 1/2 hours to get my oil changed and a tail light bulb. :mum Afterwards, I went straight to Buffalo Wild Wings for a beer and wings. That made my day a little better.


----------



## komorikun

Stuffed. Full of korokke, rice, and Japanese beer. {BURP}


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed and trapped


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PandaBearx said:


> Low-key sad


:hug :squeeze



Crisigv said:


> Depressed and trapped


:hug :squeeze


----------



## conceived sorrow

like ****, empty


----------



## CNikki

Tired. It'll change when I need to actually sleep, I'm sure.


----------



## Ekardy

I feel great. 
I had a health scare this weekend, so I had to take it easy, no phones, no computers really, just off the grid and relax per doctors orders.

Made me contemplate a lot about my life, when mortality is facing you in the face you tend to realize what’s valuable and what isn’t.
Along with that I realized I don’t have a crush on someone anymore. 
It’s good to like someone, it means you’re open and hopeful in my opinion. But sometimes, some people aren’t even worth it. So I’m glad I’ve let go. 

So yea, I feel great.
Let’s hope this keeps going.


----------



## CNikki

Ekardy said:


> I feel great.
> I had a health scare this weekend, so I had to take it easy, no phones, no computers really, just off the grid and relax per doctors orders.
> 
> Made me contemplate a lot about my life, when mortality is facing you in the face you tend to realize what's valuable and what isn't.
> Along with that I realized I don't have a crush on someone anymore.
> It's good to like someone, it means you're open and hopeful in my opinion. But sometimes, some people aren't even worth it. So I'm glad I've let go.
> 
> So yea, I feel great.
> Let's hope this keeps going.


Yikes. Hope all is well with you now.


----------



## Ekardy

CNikki said:


> Yikes. Hope all is well with you now.


Thank you. 
It was a complication linked to my Lupus but I'm better now, just have to take it easy for a while.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> I feel great.
> I had a health scare this weekend, so I had to take it easy, no phones, no computers really, just off the grid and relax per doctors orders.
> 
> Made me contemplate a lot about my life, when mortality is facing you in the face you tend to realize what's valuable and what isn't.
> Along with that I realized I don't have a crush on someone anymore.
> It's good to like someone, it means you're open and hopeful in my opinion. But sometimes, some people aren't even worth it. So I'm glad I've let go.
> 
> So yea, I feel great.
> Let's hope this keeps going.


Good to hear that you are feeling great despite your health scare.  :hug


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Good to hear that you are feeling great despite your health scare.  :hug


It might be the meds talking lol but yea I feel great. :squeeze Thank you.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Stubborn.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> I feel great.
> I had a health scare this weekend, so I had to take it easy, no phones, no computers really, just off the grid and relax per doctors orders.
> 
> Made me contemplate a lot about my life, when mortality is facing you in the face you tend to realize what's valuable and what isn't.
> Along with that I realized I don't have a crush on someone anymore.
> It's good to like someone, it means you're open and hopeful in my opinion. But sometimes, some people aren't even worth it. So I'm glad I've let go.
> 
> So yea, I feel great.
> Let's hope this keeps going.


Good to hear that you are feeling better. :hug

Oh, I did that task you mentioned.:O


----------



## Ekardy

ANX1 said:


> Good to hear that you are feeling better. :hug
> 
> Oh, I did that task you mentioned.:O


Thank you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Thank you.


You're welcome.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, cold and lonely. My own fault.


----------



## tea111red




----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Sad, cold and lonely. My own fault.


Aww. :hug



tea111red said:


>


We have Jeopardy, dong, ding, ding. :grin2:


----------



## 0589471

Ekardy said:


> I feel great.
> I had a health scare this weekend, so I had to take it easy, no phones, no computers really, just off the grid and relax per doctors orders.
> 
> Made me contemplate a lot about my life, when mortality is facing you in the face you tend to realize what's valuable and what isn't.
> Along with that I realized I don't have a crush on someone anymore.
> It's good to like someone, it means you're open and hopeful in my opinion. But sometimes, some people aren't even worth it. So I'm glad I've let go.
> 
> So yea, I feel great.
> Let's hope this keeps going.


So glad you are improving :squeeze ♡♡♡♡


----------



## Ekardy

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> So glad you are improving :squeeze ♡♡♡♡


Thanks Serena! :wink2:

:squeeze


----------



## komorikun

I shouldn't have taken that nap. Now I'm going to be up all night. It was just so irresistible. I only had a small bit of beer though so not sure what triggered it. Could have been the cheese.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Content. I got some more work to do for one of my jobs so that is good at least. Something to do before I get to wreck some virtual rubber later on today...

I need a larger monitor for my computer now so I can actually use my side mirrors.

Lol. >



Crisigv said:


> Sad, cold and lonely. *My own fault.*


*Nope. * :hug :squeeze


----------



## scintilla

.


----------



## Crisigv

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> *Nope. * :hug :squeeze


This time it is.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

scintilla said:


> Thank you both for your thoughtful replies.


You're welcome.


----------



## scintilla

.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry. Time for a shower and some leftover Chinese food. Yum.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like garbage. I guess that's what I am.


----------



## 0589471

A million shades of anxious. Did I mention I am a terrible conversationalist and horribly uninteresting?


----------



## Ekardy

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> A million shades of anxious. Did I mention I am a terrible conversationalist and horribly uninteresting?


Wait are you referring to you? This must be a mistake because this statement is simply not true. 
:squeeze


----------



## Ekardy

Crisigv said:


> I feel like garbage. I guess that's what I am.


You're not garbage. 
You like Rocky Horror Picture Show, so that by default makes you pretty ****ing cool. 
:high5


----------



## 0589471

Ekardy said:


> Wait are you referring to you? This must be a mistake because this statement is simply not true.
> :squeeze


lol ever the sweetheart, thanks Kardy :squeeze ...oh I mean, Blaire  ♡


----------



## Crisigv

Ekardy said:


> You're not garbage.
> You like Rocky Horror Picture Show, so that by default makes you pretty ****ing cool.
> :high5


Thanks, I guess I've got that going for me. If nothing else.


----------



## Ekardy

Crisigv said:


> Thanks, I guess I've got that going for me. If nothing else.


It means, if you like that movie, you must like plenty of other cool stuff too. Which says you're awesome at least for me as a friend. 
So I'm making myself your friend, lol.

:squeeze


----------



## 3stacks

Super anxious and I just can't sleep because of it


----------



## Crisigv

Ekardy said:


> It means, if you like that movie, you must like plenty of other cool stuff too. Which says you're awesome at least for me as a friend.
> So I'm making myself your friend, lol.
> 
> :squeeze


Lol, thanks. Good to have a friend.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Super anxious and I just can't sleep because of it


This might help to distract you mate -


----------



## Flora20

Depressed and empty suddenly...


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Flora20 said:


> Depressed and empty suddenly...


Awww. :hug


----------



## conceived sorrow

i feel like i shouldn't be here anymore


----------



## EarthDominator

Complete failure. I failed my exam today, I got exactly one week to correct the issues otherwise the year is done for me.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

It's a dark, lonely night. I feel restless and like I'm not human.


----------



## Barakiel

Not as bad, yet a bit empty.


----------



## 3stacks

I feel suicidal, I don't even feel like I'll get through today at this point, I probably won't. I've tried to fight it for so long now but I can't any more. I can't call Samaritans I get too nervous and I can't tell my family, so I'll just vent it here. It's probably for the best that I do it anyway, I won't be missed and I feel like I can finally go through with it now so that's good.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Blank and empty.



3stacks said:


> I feel suicidal, I don't even feel like I'll get through today at this point, I probably won't. I've tried to fight it for so long now but I can't any more. I can't call Samaritans I get too nervous and I can't tell my family, so I'll just vent it here. It's probably for the best that I do it anyway, I won't be missed and I feel like I can finally go through with it now so that's good.


 :rub


----------



## SofaKing

Gone, forgotten, written off, ignored, and gladly left behind.


----------



## Citrine79

ANX1 said:


> :hug
> 
> Changes in ones life can be depressing, stressful.
> 
> Most likely sounds like a maybe.
> 
> Getting CV written up and potentially having a new job lined up would be the next step (been given time to look for one) if it is a definitely
> 
> Chin up, stay strong.


 Thanks!

Still no answers from my employer as to what is happening and I am not dealing well with the uncertainty. My anxiety continues to worsen and my level of worry is off the charts...about the job situation and many, many other things.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Gone, forgotten, written off, ignored, and gladly left behind.


 :rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Citrine79 said:


> Thanks!
> 
> Still no answers from my employer as to what is happening and I am not dealing well with the uncertainty. My anxiety continues to worsen and my level of worry is off the charts...about the job situation and many, many other things.


You're welcome. 

Usually is your brain telling you to do something about it, but don't know what to do hence panic, get anxious.

In that scenario you plan for the worst (make a new CV, look for other jobs, think of how can cut back on expenses, save money if you can for the down period, etc), hope for the best.

Basically learn to adapt as quick as possible.


----------



## Suchness

3stacks said:


> I feel suicidal, I don't even feel like I'll get through today at this point, I probably won't. I've tried to fight it for so long now but I can't any more. I can't call Samaritans I get too nervous and I can't tell my family, so I'll just vent it here. It's probably for the best that I do it anyway, I won't be missed and I feel like I can finally go through with it now so that's good.


You're too intelligent and funny to leave us, we need more people like you.


----------



## Taaylah

3stacks said:


> I feel suicidal, I don't even feel like I'll get through today at this point, I probably won't. I've tried to fight it for so long now but I can't any more. I can't call Samaritans I get too nervous and I can't tell my family, so I'll just vent it here. It's probably for the best that I do it anyway, I won't be missed and I feel like I can finally go through with it now so that's good.


I know it's hard for you to see right now but that's not true. Your family and friends would be devastated and miss you a lot.

I've seen you around the forum and you're one of the kindest people here. You have a lot to offer the world and it'd be a worse place without someone like you in it. I know it's nerve wracking to make phone calls but please try to give Samaritans a call if you're in a really bad place.


----------



## Vip3r

Mentally exhausted and annoying.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Worried.


----------



## Excaliber

uhm...I don't think I'm not going to feel good in the morning :lol


----------



## komorikun

Spaced out. Waking up before 11am will do that to me. 

Was spaced out today at work, which is normal for a Monday. I just kind of drool at my desk and avoid talking to people as much as possible.


----------



## twistix

Hurt & bitter


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Despondent and lonely... longing for someone... even though we mutually ended things and became friendly penpals. "sigh"



twistix said:


> Hurt & bitter


 :hug :squeeze



Jeff271 said:


> Wish my friend was still alive so I could take her out for cinnamon rolls & coffee.


 :rub


----------



## Ekardy

Happy :blush


----------



## harrison

Ekardy said:


> Happy :blush


I think you might be on the wrong forum young lady. :O

Who's that girl in your avatar btw?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired. Lots on my mind and to do. Neverending life story with facing bullies head on.


----------



## Ekardy

harrison said:


> I think you might be on the wrong forum young lady. :O
> 
> Who's that girl in your avatar btw?


Lol I had just finished having a conversation with someone who made me realize there are good guys out there for me. 
Oh don't worry, depressed and anxious me is still in there, she is not going away for a LONG time. :lol 
I mean I'm still in awe that others with SA can work. That's one reason I chose my profession, aside from liking it, I can work independently.

Oh and that's Blair Waldorf, a character from Gossip Girl. :lol @A Toxic Butterfly and I are "dressing up" as matching avatar costumes lol. Her new avatar is the best friend of my avatar.


----------



## harrison

Ekardy said:


> Lol I had just finished having a conversation with someone who made me realize there are good guys out there for me.
> Oh don't worry, depressed and anxious me is still in there, she is not going away for a LONG time. :lol
> I mean I'm still in awe that others with SA can work. That's one reason I chose my profession, aside from liking it, I can work independently.
> 
> Oh and that's Blair Waldorf, a character from Gossip Girl. :lol @A Toxic Butterfly and I are "dressing up" as matching avatar costumes lol. Her new avatar is the best friend of my avatar.


Yeah - I think there's probably plenty of decent young guys out there for you, I hope so anyway. The problem is most likely just finding one of them. 

It's nice to be happy - nobody says it much on here. I'm reasonably happy too most of the time, although if I start to get too happy my doctor starts looking at me a bit funny.

I know what you mean about work too - I'm starting to think I should try and learn coding.


----------



## Everlily

I feel very ignored... Actions speak more than words.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Everlily said:


> I feel very ignored... Actions speak more than words.


So true. :hug


----------



## Crisigv

Like I never mattered


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Like I never mattered


:hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Everlily said:


> I feel very ignored... Actions speak more than words.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Like I never mattered


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## Everlily

ANX1 said:


> So true. :hug


Thank you.  :squeeze



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thank you too.  :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Everlily said:


> Thank you too.  :squeeze


No problem!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Everlily said:


> Thank you.  :squeeze


You're welcome.


----------



## 0589471

So sick. Like I'm coming down with something fluish and awful.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> So sick. Like I'm coming down with something fluish and awful.


Awww. :hug


----------



## 0589471

ANX1 said:


> Awww. :hug


Thanks :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Thanks :squeeze


You're welcome.


----------



## Shadaw

Lost


----------



## Girlinterrupted333

Only a few more hours. I'll be glad when today is over.


----------



## Excaliber

Not been a good day at all, my mind is elsewhere. I'm forgetting stuff, making mistakes... more thinking and just getting frustrated.


----------



## harrison

I feel good. Woke up after about 7 hours of decent sleep. My old shrink was always asking me how I'd been sleeping - apparently it has a huge impact on our mental health.


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable. I deserve to die.


----------



## funnynihilist

I think I need to get off of this site


----------



## 0589471

funnynihilist said:


> I think I need to get off of this site


I'm sorry I am going to have to deny that request. :squeeze I much look forward to our weekly shandy nights and trashing Karsten's dot condo.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Anxious, tired, and very lonely, all at once. Having some warm tea with honey seems to be helping, although sometimes I still feel like crying, but no tears come. "sigh"


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Miserable. I deserve to die.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## Flora20

Lonely and sad and nobody cares...


----------



## Valkatox

^ We do. :hs

I feel pretty up and down myself throughout the day, completely lost my appetite since my ex contacted me.
That's one good way to lose some weight I suppose? >u>


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Flora20 said:


> Lonely and sad and nobody cares...


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

Getting that weird feeling of feeling in a nightmare, but knowing I'm not and then feeling some kind of shocked feeling that what's happening is real. Maybe I'm in a daze.


----------



## 0589471

Anxious. So very anxious. Realized earlier my fainting spell, lack of oxygen, horrible nausea, and racing heart was a panic attack not illness.


----------



## Vip3r

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Anxious. So very anxious. Realized earlier my fainting spell, lack of oxygen, horrible nausea, and racing heart was a panic attack not illness.


I hope you feel better. :squeeze Panic attacks suck.


----------



## Suchness

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Anxious. So very anxious. Realized earlier my fainting spell, lack of oxygen, horrible nausea, and racing heart was a panic attack not illness.


Those are the same symptoms a caterpillar experiences before it turns into a beautiful butterfly. You're well on your way!


----------



## 0589471

Vip3r said:


> I hope you feel better. :squeeze Panic attacks suck.





Suchness said:


> Those are the same symptoms a caterpillar experiences before it turns into a beautiful butterfly. You're well on your way!


Oh yeah definitely no good =/ :squeeze haha thank you, suppose that is a more positive way of looking at it yes  :squeeze


----------



## Suchness




----------



## Deaf Mute

Surreal, like I'm not in control of my actions/choices somehow... '-'


----------



## tea111red

Scared for my future.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Scared for my future.


I briefly saw your post's and now I'm worried about you.  :hug


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> I briefly saw your post's and now I'm worried about you.  :hug


Yeah...I don't know what to do and how to keep strength up. I feel really low this morning.


----------



## Ekardy

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Anxious. So very anxious. Realized earlier my fainting spell, lack of oxygen, horrible nausea, and racing heart was a panic attack not illness.


:squeeze :heart


----------



## 3stacks

Taaylah said:


> I know it's hard for you to see right now but that's not true. Your family and friends would be devastated and miss you a lot.
> 
> I've seen you around the forum and you're one of the kindest people here. You have a lot to offer the world and it'd be a worse place without someone like you in it. I know it's nerve wracking to make phone calls but please try to give Samaritans a call if you're in a really bad place.





Suchness said:


> You're too intelligent and funny to leave us, we need more people like you.


Thank you both, I just went to hospital, I still feel bad but eh


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit better than usual.



deetzy said:


> Pretty lonely.. trying to stay positive but I can't. I keep on thinking how ****ing lame I am and how my life is. ...just gonna get my crying over with and try to find anything to distract me from this.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## 3stacks

deetzy said:


> Pretty lonely.. trying to stay positive but I can't. I keep on thinking how ****ing lame I am and how my life is. ...just gonna get my crying over with and try to find anything to distract me from this.


Nah you ain't lame, you got a good humour


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

3stacks said:


> Thank you both, I just went to hospital, I still feel bad but eh


Good luck my dude. I hope you feel better soon. :rub


----------



## CNikki

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Anxious. So very anxious. Realized earlier my fainting spell, lack of oxygen, horrible nausea, and racing heart was a panic attack not illness.


I never knew that could happen until recent years. :? Please be careful. :hug


----------



## harrison

deetzy said:


> Pretty lonely.. trying to stay positive but I can't. I keep on thinking how ****ing lame I am and how my life is. ...just gonna get my crying over with and try to find anything to distract me from this.


I think quite a few of us feel like our lives are pretty lame. I certainly do - at the moment anyway. It's just ridiculous how boring my life is. Hope you're feeling a bit better anyway.

Plus I really like that quote of yours from Bukowski  - I used to like his books, I should check them out again.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


>


I miss Seinfeld.

And how come you're having trouble sleeping lately?


----------



## birddookie

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @*birddookie* They make me do everything every day. Even if I'm tired. I have to take out the trash, sweep, vacuum, do laundry, clean the toilet and sink, dishes, clean the kitchen counter, and clean the refrigerator, and make tea and like two other things. It's ridiculous. Even if they do a little bit, they still make me do the whole house everyday.
> 
> And my job doesn't want to work me full time for some reason. I asked for more hours about 2 months ago and they want me to work in seafood for one hour each day I work in produce next week. So four hours total. I don't understand. I usually work three hours a day there. But their reason is cause they don't want to "overwork" me. I keep telling them I need the money but they just don't care.  I work hard for nothing.


Sorry to hear that, seems like a place to get out of, especially If the Renter/HO threatens to evict you if you don't do the chores.

That doesn't make any since, since you're eager to work more. Looked up the laws, and doesn't seem there is any for part time employment. Your company could have a policy in place for it. The company I work for does have a policy that says part timers can't work more than 30 hours a week. Have you thought of applying for a second job? It could help, it would show your first job how serious you are about more hours. I Hope you can find a better place, and can get more hours. :squeeze

@*Crisigv* You deserve a happy and fulfilling life. :squeeze

@*tea111red* How has your sleep been lately? Maybe you're dozing out in in of consciousness. I hope you stop feeling like you're in a nightmare goes and you feel better. :squeeze

@*A Toxic Butterfly* Hope you can overcome the panic attacks, and feel better :squeeze @*Suchness* She's already beautiful, is she going to become more beautiful?

@Deaf Mute It's all in the mind, and sometimes the mind can take that control away.

@*conceived sorrow* My condolences to you and your family. :crying: :hug

@deetzy Sorry to hear that, you're not lame. I hope you feel better.:squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Miserable. I deserve to die.


Please no. :hug



funnynihilist said:


> I think I need to get off of this site


A break might help mate.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Anxious, tired, and very lonely, all at once. Having some warm tea with honey seems to be helping, although sometimes I still feel like crying, but no tears come. "sigh"


Try breathing in and out fully. I find that helps to feel less anxious.



Flora20 said:


> Lonely and sad and nobody cares...


Aww. :hug



tea111red said:


> Getting that weird feeling of feeling in a nightmare, but knowing I'm not and then feeling some kind of shocked feeling that what's happening is real. Maybe I'm in a daze.


:hug



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Anxious. So very anxious. Realized earlier my fainting spell, lack of oxygen, horrible nausea, and racing heart was a panic attack not illness.


Sometimes short breathe which brings on the panic attack. Practice breathing in and out fully to see if it helps.



tea111red said:


> Yeah...I don't know what to do and how to keep strength up. I feel really low this morning.


Realise it is them that has the problem, not you and walk away for a day and enjoy nature, some animals if possible to see the good in life. I find a break from toxic situations helps.



deetzy said:


> Pretty lonely.. trying to stay positive but I can't. I keep on thinking how ****ing lame I am and how my life is. ...just gonna get my crying over with and try to find anything to distract me from this.


:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired. Lots to do.

In addition, shocked to see damage to someones house which got rammed by an out of control car and is now selling it. I know was struggling in life, just didn't need that to happen. Life can be a real pain sometimes.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> I miss Seinfeld.
> 
> And how come you're having trouble sleeping lately?


I still watch Seinfeld, for about three years I watched it regularly but I've slowed down recently.

Ive had trouble sleeping for a few years now, it's pretty much anxiety and insomnia but the night before I couldn't sleep because I had a phone appointment at 4.20am and it made me anxious that I had to get up at that time so I couldn't fall asleep.


----------



## Suchness

deetzy said:


> Just hold on.


Reminds me of Eckhart Tolle's quote "this too shall pass."


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> I still watch Seinfeld, for about three years I watched it regularly but I've slowed down recently.
> 
> Ive had trouble sleeping for a few years now, it's pretty much anxiety and insomnia but the night before I couldn't sleep because I had a phone appointment at 4.20am and it made me anxious that I had to get up at that time so I couldn't fall asleep.


I used to love watching that show. I even used to tape it on VHS ages ago - that's going back a bit. I can remember sitting there with my son and both of us laughing our heads off.

I often wake up at around 3:30, 4 am - have been for years. I lie there worrying about everything until I finally get back to sleep. It's a pain.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> I used to love watching that show. I even used to tape it on VHS ages ago - that's going back a bit. I can remember sitting there with my son and both of us laughing our heads off.
> 
> I often wake up at around 3:30, 4 am - have been for years. I lie there worrying about everything until I finally get back to sleep. It's a pain.


At least you can fall asleep again. If I wake up at 4am I might not be able to go back to sleep.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> At least you can fall asleep again. If I wake up at 4am I might not be able to go back to sleep.


I often get up, get a cup of tea and distract myself by looking at SAS or something. Then after a while I get really tired again and go back to bed. If I don't I'll be knackered for the rest of the day and can't do anything. I usually feel okay once I wake up the second time.


----------



## Suchness

birddookie said:


> SuchnessShe's already beautiful, is she going to become more beautiful?


The flowering of human consciousness is the most beautiful experience a human can have.


----------



## Everlily

I feel horrible. I am horrible. I don't deserve anything. I'm not beautiful, popular or intelligent. I am nothing.


----------



## SofaKing

Everlily said:


> I feel horrible. I am horrible. I don't deserve anything. I'm not beautiful, popular or intelligent. I am nothing.


I know we can all feel this way at times, but also know it isn't true.

I hope you get through this patch.


----------



## Ekardy




----------



## 0589471

Ekardy said:


>


----------



## Taaylah

3stacks said:


> Thank you both, I just went to hospital, I still feel bad but eh


I hope you feel better soon :squeeze


----------



## blue2

Like I'm drowning & fighting hard to keep my head above water, I've been fighting for years & I'm tired, I just want to be able to let go & slip into the blackness & forget everything, & this is why I don't often show true feelings I'd bring everyone down.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

blue2 said:


> Like I'm drowning & fighting hard to keep my head above water, I've been fighting for years & I'm tired, I just want to be able to let go & slip into the blackness & forget everything, & this is why I don't often show true feelings I'd bring everyone down.


I know exactly what you mean. Sorry you're struggling so much.


----------



## Taaylah

Everlily said:


> I feel horrible. I am horrible. I don't deserve anything. I'm not beautiful, popular or intelligent. I am nothing.


I know these things aren't true because underneath your avi it says you want to learn more. That's tells me you are intelligent! So I know none of the other things you said about yourself are true either 

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I know how it feels and in the moment it does feel like it is true.


----------



## Jackthedog

Right now I feel like I've dug a hole so big in my life, starting as a young boy, that I don't even relate to society anymore. Every new venture I try is ok at first, but it's all fake. Once reality sets it, people see the real me and the faking becomes tiresome. I just wish I had one thing to be happy about.


----------



## komorikun

Sleepy. It's cold and rainy. The work week is over. I had 2 ice creams on a stick and one ice cream sandwich and one beer. Time for a nap.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

komorikun said:


> Sleepy. It's cold and rainy. The work week is over. I had 2 ice creams on a stick and one ice cream sandwich and one beer. Time for a nap.


Wish you pleasant dreams.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted, mildly feverish


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired a lot lately, but getting things done and learning lots of new things, yeah.

I'm a cupcake that needs to harden up. But don't know if I can eat me. 

Nuts?, pass on that for cupcake. Yeah, joking mood is a very serious condition.


----------



## Crisigv

Cough is still bad. My throat and chest hurt. And my voice is going in and out.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Cough is still bad. My throat and chest hurt. And my voice is going in and out.


:hug

Might be time to visit the doctor if more than two days. After two days it most likely is chest or flu. If flu, lots of vitamin C (drink squeezed natural orange juice if you have to or Charlies brand of squeezed orange juice), as helps to get rid of it quicker.


----------



## scintilla

.


----------



## tea111red

Irritated


----------



## nubly

That could have been me if I didn't decide to go to Smith's at the last minute. The Gods of fate are looking out for their favorite SAS poster.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## harrison

Feeling great. Sun's streaming in through my window and I think I have the day free. 

Might go to my favorite little cinema and see a movie.


----------



## conceived sorrow

birddookie said:


> @*conceived sorrow* My condolences to you and your family. :crying: :hug


thanks


----------



## SofaKing

A bit sad. Tomorrow is a charity walk for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. It's my second year, but most meaningful as I was personally touched by the loss of a dear friend shortly after my first walk.

I hope anyone struggling with suicide seeks the help they need.


----------



## CNikki

SofaKing said:


> A bit sad. Tomorrow is a charity walk for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. It's my second year, but most meaningful as I was personally touched by the loss of a dear friend shortly after my first walk.
> 
> I hope anyone struggling with suicide seeks the help they need.


I'm sorry to hear about that. :hug

The topic is tough and not many people want to talk about it.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> I'm sorry to hear about that. :hug
> 
> The topic is tough and not many people want to talk about it.


I echo this lady's sentiments.


----------



## SofaKing

CNikki said:


> I'm sorry to hear about that. :hug
> 
> The topic is tough and not many people want to talk about it.


Thanks for your kind words. If there is a community that appreciates the mental illness behind suicide, it's us.


----------



## SofaKing

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I echo this lady's sentiments.


Thanks!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired still, need some food to wake me up. Lol.


----------



## 8888

I've got a bit of a headache but I feel okay otherwise.


----------



## Jeff271

somewhat better, chilly toes, I'm doing laundry & had some cold pizza for breakfast


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored. Blah.


----------



## copper

Blah. Another week of work coming up tomorrow. At least I won't have to physically restrain the new resident in the one house to get him to dress for school. The Parent's agreed Friday not to have him go to school anymore.


----------



## Zatch

Physically exhausted, but resilient. Gotta plan out how to own the rest of this year.

I'm really glad about the last few months and would like to maintain that momentum.


----------



## tehuti88

Increasingly pissed off.


----------



## 0589471

Headache. Ugh. Had a sudden thunderstorm early this morning, woke me up. The rain is nice though, brought the temp down again


----------



## Crisigv

Insecure and just done.

Also, I feel like death. Can't breathe without coughing my lungs inside out. And now I have a headache and losing my voice. No time for doctor.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Okay, aside from my blind eye hurting when I blink. Time for my eye drops again...


----------



## komorikun

copper said:


> Blah. Another week of work coming up tomorrow. At least I won't have to physically restrain the new resident in the one house to get him to dress for school. The Parent's agreed Friday not to have him go to school anymore.


I thought you just did office work.


----------



## komorikun

I'd like to sleep forever. Sleeping is great.


----------



## copper

komorikun said:


> I thought you just did office work.


Oh no at times I have to do Physical intervention when staff need assistance in our homes. I go to 4 hour Physical intervention training once a year which I do in February.


----------



## copper

Supervisor called me and had to spend 1 hour at work. The new resident is having tooth issues and had major behaviors. When I got to the house two Nurses were there, one of the male staff from another house was there and one staff from the house along with the Paramedics. They took him to the hospital. The supervisor also wanted me to go to the hospital. They didn't find anything wrong with his teeth. Sending him home with antibiotics, drugs to sedate him and pain killers. This resident has Cornelia de Lange syndrome and they have lots of physical problems that can send their behavior sky high. So my week of work started today.


----------



## Vip3r

Disconnected and lonely. Even though my anxiety is mostly gone I feel like I have a hard time relating to people.


----------



## unemployment simulator

Angry! Again!

I really hate the fact I'm going to bed ****ing angry every day at the moment.
What's the thing where a person basically annoys the **** out of people and just ****s off leaving everyone in a foul mood? Basically this!


----------



## Wanderlust26

Antisocial


----------



## 0589471

Invisible


----------



## Wanderlust26

Vip3r said:


> Disconnected and lonely. Even though my anxiety is mostly gone I feel like I have a hard time relating to people.


Exactly how I feel at work. I've been more social than I ever have been starting small talk and ****, but I just don't click with anybody.


----------



## Suchness

Wanderlust26 said:


> Exactly how I feel at work. I've been more social than I ever have been starting small talk and ****, but I just don't click with anybody.


Wanderlust, my favourite Viet, nice to see you posting.


----------



## Suchness

Me? How am I feeling? Well I had over six hours of sleep which is good, I can always feel when I’ve had that much and my face feels firmer and rejuvenated. It happens once or twice a month, I wonder what seven hours every night would feel like.


----------



## Ekardy

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Invisible


No you're not.
:squeeze 
You're the Rachel to my Monica. :heart


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Lonely as all hell... looking at online dating profiles of people who seem to have it all together does not help matters and ends up making me more intimidated and depressed.


----------



## SofaKing

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Lonely as all hell... looking at online dating profiles of people who seem to have it all together does not help matters and ends up making me more intimidated and depressed.


You've been successful once already. It'll happen again.


----------



## 0589471

Ekardy said:


> No you're not.
> :squeeze
> You're the Rachel to my Monica.


Aww thank you :squeeze 
... Also it's been discussed @twytarn you are our Phoebe.


----------



## CNikki

Could be better, could be worse.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Aww thank you :squeeze
> ... Also it's been discussed @twytarn you are our Phoebe.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> You've been successful once already. It'll happen again.


:grin2:


----------



## Wren611

Depressed, tired, anxious and in pain.

I keep thinking too much, it's 4:17am and I have to be up "early" tomorrow (before midday is early to me) but I can't sleep, and I have a headache.


----------



## Ekardy

worthless


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> worthless


 :hug :squeeze

You doing okay girl?


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze
> 
> You doing okay girl?


Not really. I all of a sudden had a wave of emotions and really bad anxiety.
:squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Not really. I all of a sudden had a wave of emotions and really bad anxiety.
> :squeeze


I can relate to that, unfortunately. :squeeze


----------



## Suchness

I have more energy than usual, probably because I got decent sleep.


----------



## Vip3r

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Invisible


I always notice your posts and enjoy reading them if that counts for anything, lol. :b :squeeze



Wanderlust26 said:


> Exactly how I feel at work. I've been more social than I ever have been starting small talk and ****, but I just don't click with anybody.


Sorry, you feel that way too. :squeeze I isolated myself for years so that is probably why I can't relate to people.



Ekardy said:


> Not really. I all of a sudden had a wave of emotions and really bad anxiety.
> :squeeze


I hope you are feeling better. :squeeze


----------



## 0589471

Vip3r said:


> I always notice your posts and enjoy reading them if that counts for anything, lol. :b :squeeze


Thanks Vip3r that's really nice :squeeze I just feel like I am no good once you get to know me


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Invisible


:hug

Reminds me of a game I programmed in basic programming language where have to negotiate a house without bumping into furniture. Problem is the furniture is invisible.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Lonely as all hell... looking at online dating profiles of people who seem to have it all together does not help matters and ends up making me more intimidated and depressed.


Reading list's of what have to be. Then one thinks, might as well jump through hula hoops to be different. 



CNikki said:


> Could be better, could be worse.


:hug



Wren611 said:


> Depressed, tired, anxious and in pain.
> 
> I keep thinking too much, it's 4:17am and I have to be up "early" tomorrow (before midday is early to me) but I can't sleep, and I have a headache.


Think of something that makes you happy. If thoughts wander back to worrying thoughts, refocus back on thoughts that make you happy. I find that helps me to sleep.



Ekardy said:


> worthless


Oi, no. You are awesome.


----------



## 0589471

ANX1 said:


> :hug
> Reminds me of a game I programmed in basic programming language where have to negotiate a house without bumping into furniture. Problem is the furniture is invisible.


I am invisible furniture. I think that is a good description honestly. 

Sounds difficult if the avoidable objects are invisible. Do you have to start over if you bump into anything?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> I am invisible furniture. I think that is a good description honestly.
> 
> Sounds difficult if the avoidable objects are invisible. Do you have to start over if you bump into anything?


Kodi can find you, as can smell your perfume. :O

Basically have to start over if hit furniture. Takes many tries to get an idea where the furniture is located. 

Had a problem starting the game due to typing out code wrong. Frustrating going through pages of basic code to figure it out.

With the programming for furniture you had to program from x,y coordinate to x,y coordinate (similar to x,y coordinates as found on a navigation map) to draw lines. Just had to make the lines invisible via from what I cän remember was using 0=invisible and 1=visible in the programming code.

With programming 0 is off and 1 is on if want to turn a feature off or on.


----------



## Omni-slash

A sinking feeling of some impending doom. I guess I am catastrophizing.


----------



## zerf

Bored, lonely, stressed, over thinking x_X


----------



## Blue Dino

Constantly unsettled and worried, giving me difficulty to focus on a lot of things on my daily life and things I want to do and enjoy.


----------



## conceived sorrow

hopeless


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I can relate to that, unfortunately. :squeeze



:squeeze I wish you didn't, it's not a great feeling so I'm sorry you go through that too.



Vip3r said:


> I hope you are feeling better. :squeeze


Thank you. :squeeze Hey you're not by that Hurricane Michael cone of concern right?? :O



ANX1 said:


> Oi, no. You are awesome.


:squeeze Thank you. It's just hard not to feel that way sometimes. But I am currently beachside so have to enjoy it and trying to stay positive.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> :squeeze Thank you. It's just hard not to feel that way sometimes. But I am currently beachside so have to enjoy it and trying to stay positive.


You're welcome. 

If beach side, surfs up. :grin2:


----------



## Crisigv

Extremely tired. My cough kept me up most of the night. I just want to sleep, but instead I have to work for 9 hours.


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> Thank you. :squeeze Hey you're not by that Hurricane Michael cone of concern right?? :O


I am pretty far inland so I don't think it will be severe here.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Extremely tired. My cough kept me up most of the night. I just want to sleep, but instead I have to work for 9 hours.


Awww. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Extremely tired. My cough kept me up most of the night. I just want to sleep, but instead I have to work for 9 hours.


 :hug


----------



## tea111red

Still fasting....feel depressed and am developing a more intense headache (detoxing). The coffee I have sucks, too (lol..dollar store brand). Ran out of the better kind. Coffee kind of makes life less miserable for awhile.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tea111red said:


> Still fasting....feel depressed and am developing a more intense headache. The coffee I have sucks, too (lol..dollar store brand). Ran out of the better kind. Coffee kind of makes life less miserable for awhile.


I am addicted to coffee, lol.


----------



## tea111red

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am addicted to coffee, lol.


Yeah, I stopped the coffee for 2 weeks, but restarted it because I needed the boost from the coffee. I may stop again, but not right now, lol.


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> Still fasting....feel depressed and am developing a more intense headache (detoxing). The coffee I have sucks, too (lol..dollar store brand). Ran out of the better kind. Coffee kind of makes life less miserable for awhile.


What kind of fast are you doing? Have you heard of the water fast?


----------



## Kiwifruit

Raining for days. I'm a zombie.


----------



## 0589471

harrison said:


> That's very impressive. I lived in Germany for a while back in my 20's - in Black Forest. I never really learnt much German though, just a few words. I think I was a bit lazy - plus it's really quite difficult. I've been learning Indonesian on and off for ages but still not fluent.
> 
> You must have a natural affinity for languages - Japanese looks pretty hard too. Good for you.
> 
> Edit: also - does @A Toxic Butterfly know what it means?


I just saw this, sorry I know it is a bit old. I'm confused what would I know?? Post references German and Japanese but I don't know either of those languages :lol I had an interest in learning Japanese but have focused on Russian and Spanish over the years.


----------



## harrison

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> I just saw this, sorry I know it is a bit old. I'm confused what would I know?? Post references German and Japanese but I don't know either of those languages :lol I had an interest in learning Japanese but have focused on Russian and Spanish over the years.


It's okay - her username was just "butterfly" in German.  (schmetterling - has quite a nice ring to it)


----------



## 0589471

harrison said:


> It's okay - her username was just "butterfly" in German.  (schmetterling - has quite a nice ring to it)


Ohhh haha that's cute


----------



## Suchness

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Ohhh haha that's cute


Hey schmetterling :haha


----------



## harrison

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Ohhh haha that's cute


Talking of cute - that's Jennifer Anniston in your avatar right? Do you think it'd be possible for her to get any more attractive?


----------



## Suchness




----------



## 0589471

harrison said:


> Talking of cute - that's Jennifer Anniston in your avatar right? Do you think it'd be possible for her to get any more attractive?


Yes she is quite beautiful


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


>


That was great - I loved it!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Really tired, lonely.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> That was great - I loved it!


Schmetterling is A Toxic Butterfly's new nickname.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> Schmetterling is A Toxic Butterfly's new nickname.


Sounds good to me mate.

It's good how Youtube reminds you of songs you've listened to in the past. This one's pretty good. I had to post the one with a boring graphic - the other option is a bit "cheeky' shall we say.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Really tired, lonely.


Hope you're alright mate - better go and have a nice little snooze.

Here's another song from that band you showed me before.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> Sounds good to me mate.
> 
> It's good how Youtube reminds you of songs you've listened to in the past. This one's pretty good. I had to post the one with a boring graphic - the other option is a bit "cheeky' shall we say.


I get caught up going thru old songs on youtube every now and then, gives me a lot of nostalgia.

I can imagine you listening to that song on a tropical beach somewhere, maybe with a drink in your hand and good company around you.


----------



## 0589471

Suchness said:


> Schmetterling is A Toxic Butterfly's new nickname.





harrison said:


> Sounds good to me mate.


Oh it is, is it? lol :teeth


----------



## Suchness

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Oh it is, is it? lol :teeth


Yep, Kenny Schmetterling :boogie


----------



## 0589471

Suchness said:


> Yep, Kenny Schmetterling :boogie


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> I get caught up going thru old songs on youtube every now and then, gives me a lot of nostalgia.
> *
> I can imagine you listening to that song on a tropical beach somewhere, maybe with a drink in your hand and good company around you.*


Yeah, probably in December mate.


----------



## harrison

A Toxic Butterfly said:


>


Is that Kramer? Jesus I miss that show.


----------



## Suchness

A Toxic Butterfly said:


>


LMAO! I love it.



harrison said:


> Yeah, probably in December mate.


I like that song, I've listened to it a few times there. I hope you get to listen to it on that amazing tropical beach.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> Is that Kramer? Jesus I miss that show.


The one and only Cosmo Kramer.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> The one and only Cosmo Kramer.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


>


This is my favourite scene from my from my favourite episode, I love when Kramer says "Jerry, these are load bearing walls, they're not gonna come down!"


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> What kind of fast are you doing? Have you heard of the water fast?


Just liquids...today I just had coffee, water (regular and w/ some lime), and this electrolyte and vitamin packet in water.

Oh...I took these activated charcoal pills that I have, too.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> This is my favourite scene from my from my favourite episode, I love when Kramer says "Jerry, these are load bearing walls, they're not gonna come down!"


That's a great episode - I love how that room is so red and glowing.

I used to love Elaine too - this blooper's great with George's father.


----------



## 0589471

harrison said:


> That's a great episode - I love how that room is so red and glowing.
> 
> I used to love Elaine too - this blooper's great with George's father.


Oh god yes, my favourite too!! lol


----------



## harrison

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Oh god yes, my favourite too!! lol


Yeah - it was a great show. I used to sit and watch it with my son when he was little. He loved it too.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> That's a great episode - I love how that room is so red and glowing.
> 
> I used to love Elaine too - this blooper's great with George's father.


I love that, I've seen it so many times.


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> Just liquids...today I just had coffee, water (regular and w/ some lime), and this electrolyte and vitamin packet in water.
> 
> Oh...I took these activated charcoal pills that I have, too.


There was a guy who did the water fast for a year, he was a big so he had a lot of energy to use. When I do it I want to see how long i can do it. Do you know about the sea salt flush? That's supposed to be very good for detoxing, something else I also want to do.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Hope you're alright mate - better go and have a nice little snooze.
> 
> Here's another song from that band you showed me before.


Was lonely until got some sleep, visited and hugged a family member. I guess I miss my family more than I think. :stu 

Thank you for the song mate, love the 80's saxophone. 



Suchness said:


> Yep, Kenny Schmetterling :boogie


I was thinking the matching dog is shown at 1:11+ and 2:28+ -






:O

At 5:06+ is hilarious, as she dēfinitely was pranking him and being such a good sport he played along. :lol


----------



## Kilgore Trout

I'm feeling good


----------



## stratsp

Feeling very scared, anxious, and deeply emotional, it seems like even if someone touches me with slightest concern I start crying.... not something I am proud of....


Big changes, Big expenses are coming up and almost 0 cash reserves, not sure how we will manage....


----------



## Ekardy




----------



## mobc1990

Good after a massage


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


>


:wink2::grin2:


----------



## Smallfry

Like I don't have any fight left, this has been the worst year of the all


----------



## nicke22rocks

Smallfry said:


> Like I don't have any fight left, this has been the worst year of the all


 I feel you. Although I don't know your scenario I understand what it feels like to just wanna give up on life. I feel like that right now. But there is always sunshine peeking through those dark clouds no matter what it seems like, and you can get there. If you wanna chat feel free to shoot me a message I could definitely use someone to chat with right now.


----------



## Mur

Very relieved, phew.


----------



## Vip3r

Achy and my throat is a little scratchy. Hopefully I feel better by tomorrow. I need to work.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Suchness said:


> Wanderlust, *my favourite Viet*, nice to see you posting.


LOL

Nice seeing you around again too.


----------



## 0589471

Anxious. This job thing isn't as confirmed as I thought. The company is tied to the pharmacy and I still need to be approved on the pharmacy company end. I feel like I always...assume things are good too soon. always.


----------



## Suchness

Wanderlust26 said:


> LOL
> 
> Nice seeing you around again too.


A couple of my best friends were Viet in high school but everyone knew du ma and some knew du ma may. That was late 90s/early 2000s when Viet's were the coolest and had the hardest gangs here.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Anxious. This job thing isn't as confirmed as I thought. The company is tied to the pharmacy and I still need to be approved on the pharmacy company end. I feel like I always...assume things are good too soon. always.


Crossing toes, fingers and hoping that you get approved.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Anxious. This job thing isn't as confirmed as I thought. The company is tied to the pharmacy and I still need to be approved on the pharmacy company end. I feel like I always...assume things are good too soon. always.


Hope you get that job!


----------



## Catbunny123

Lonely and depressed. I feel like I am a waste of a person and that I shouldn't have been born at all.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Catbunny123 said:


> Lonely and depressed. I feel like I am a waste of a person and that I shouldn't have been born at all.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## 0589471

Exactly as she described. It's been months since I felt good. I feel so lost, I finally felt well enough to start trying again, to make these changes and put myself out there but then the same things just keep happening...just silence and nothingness. I feel like I'm getting close and then I'm pushed out. Last week everything seemed to be going well and now it's like...stopped. I check my email constantly, have my phone on me in case of calls, nothing. I am an undesirable human being both as a worker and a friend.


----------



## 3stacks

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Exactly as she described. It's been months since I felt good. I feel so lost, I finally felt well enough to start trying again, to make these changes and put myself out there but then the same things just keep happening...just silence and nothingness. I feel like I'm getting close and then I'm pushed out. Last week everything seemed to be going well and now it's like...stopped. I check my email constantly, have my phone on me in case of calls, nothing. I am an undesirable human being both as a worker and a friend.


change can take a while, don't give up just yet. Don't believe that negative voice in your head. And hey a weeks isn't a huge amount of time. It would be good to have a friend like you, you clearly have a good sense of humour and are very kind and understanding. Added Sabrina pic to cheer you up.


----------



## Catbunny123

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


:squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Black clouds are forming overhead again... and no, I am not talking about rain. 



Catbunny123 said:


> :squeeze


Thanks.


----------



## Crisigv

Meh


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Exactly as she described. It's been months since I felt good. I feel so lost, I finally felt well enough to start trying again, to make these changes and put myself out there but then the same things just keep happening...just silence and nothingness. I feel like I'm getting close and then I'm pushed out. Last week everything seemed to be going well and now it's like...stopped. I check my email constantly, have my phone on me in case of calls, nothing. I am an undesirable human being both as a worker and a friend.


:hug

You are a good friend giving them space, don't think you are not. :hug

Sometimes people think you want space, hence give you space. Even you admitted that you liked your own space sometimes.

In addition, people get busy sometimes and disappear for weeks, months, sometimes a year before speaking to them again.

The key is having multiple friends, spreading time between them.


----------



## Suchness

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Exactly as she described. It's been months since I felt good. I feel so lost, I finally felt well enough to start trying again, to make these changes and put myself out there but then the same things just keep happening...just silence and nothingness. I feel like I'm getting close and then I'm pushed out. Last week everything seemed to be going well and now it's like...stopped. I check my email constantly, have my phone on me in case of calls, nothing. I am an undesirable human being both as a worker and a friend.


You're my Kenny Schmetterling!


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> There was a guy who did the water fast for a year, he was a big so he had a lot of energy to use. When I do it I want to see how long i can do it. Do you know about the sea salt flush? That's supposed to be very good for detoxing, something else I also want to do.


Yeah...I did the salt water flush as a teenager. It was hard to get all that salt water down, lol.

Anyway...I got through my fast.


----------



## mobc1990

Feeling good atm


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Feeling like garbage. Drinking and NyQuil don’t mix. My tummy hurts. Boo hoo I guess.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Exactly as she described. It's been months since I felt good. I feel so lost, I finally felt well enough to start trying again, to make these changes and put myself out there but then the same things just keep happening...just silence and nothingness. I feel like I'm getting close and then I'm pushed out. Last week everything seemed to be going well and now it's like...stopped. I check my email constantly, have my phone on me in case of calls, nothing. I am an undesirable human being both as a worker and a friend.


Wrong. You're a great person. I'm sorry you're feeling so badly. We all like you here!


----------



## harrison

I woke up feeling so much better. Had taken 200mg for the last 2 nights so the pressure had gone done in my head and the anger had abated. I can't believe how worked up I was getting just talking about stuff with my wife last night - she said she felt like hanging up on me.


----------



## 3stacks

Sooo bored


----------



## Zatch

Quite ill. I suppose I messed up last night, in multiple ways.

Least I learned from it. That's a blessing.


----------



## Ekardy

I'm broken, there must be something wrong with me, I mess everything up. I'm sorry.


----------



## SplendidBob

Surprisingly not that bad.

I think I have figured out how to approach the studying for this course. I am not retaining too much info, but they are just ****ing blasting us with a 3 year undergrad psychology degree in a year, so the amount of info is off the charts. That means massive stress.

Add to this, all my support (other than Faith, bless her) has vanished. Secondary care, gone. Old psychologist, discharged me and literally moving jobs lol, uni support, needs doctors proof, doctors, wont send proof without a letter saying what proof they want (so having to make another doctors appointment). Faith, yeh, faith, developing feelings for her, not so simple, never is.

Socialising very well at university, even been invited to a study group on Tuesday at the library (which may or may not be a covert date, probably not), and had one other woman give me her phone number already. The problem with all of this is, every single Wednesday, each day of sitting in lecture chairs worsens my neck, and its not recovering for the next Wednesday, which when combined with everything else is adding stress all over the place. Everything is tough. Things are good. Things are bad. Stress is high. I have been drugging myself too much to cope, which has to stop as well.

Another modafinil / caffeine day to try to keep up (modafinil excluded lol). Reschedule some stuff Tuesday because I need to go to this study group if my gut is right about what it might be. Neck be damned. Am loving the course content, the people, the socialising, but the neck, the ****ing ****ing neck. Makes me so angry.
@Ekardy btw, I mean to reply to you at some point, but as might be kinda obvious by my erratic and deranged postings I am under an insane amount of pressure atm so waiting for stuff to quieten down.


----------



## SofaKing

Ekardy said:


> I'm broken, there must be something wrong with me, I mess everything up. I'm sorry.


I doubt you really do, thought it's a reasonable thing for us to assume we did. It's amazing what stories we can concoct in our heads.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Ugh I feel nauseous. 
I shouldn't had taken my iron pills on an empty stomach.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not bad. Talked on the phone with my mother for 30 minutes. That was nice.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Black As Day said:


> Ugh I feel nauseous.
> I shouldn't had taken my iron pills on an empty stomach.


Head rub time. :hug

What happens if I turn on a magnet?


----------



## 0589471

No response from job but I guess no news is good news for now. My contact emailed me today saying she hasn't heard back yet but expects to by next week. Of course I was told this last Friday. I was supposed to do something this weekend too but I am not in a good place. There are only a couple people I feel good talking to but I worry I am just annoying them lately.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@A Toxic Butterfly

:hug

It is ok. 

Stay strong.


----------



## funnynihilist

Haven't felt this low in a long time.


----------



## Ekardy

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> No response from job but I guess no news is good news for now. My contact emailed me today saying she hasn't heard back yet but expects to by next week. Of course I was told this last Friday. I was supposed to do something this weekend too but I am not in a good place. There are only a couple people I feel good talking to but I worry I am just annoying them lately.


:heart No you're not. :squeeze a lot of people here care about you and I personally love you  you've become my BFF.


----------



## tehuti88

Disillusioned and gullible, again.


----------



## 3stacks

Relieved


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tehuti88 said:


> Disillusioned and gullible, again.


 :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

funnynihilist said:


> Haven't felt this low in a long time.


Sorry to hear mate. 

I hope you feel better after some sleep.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Relieved


Good to hear mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sore, tired.


----------



## andy1984

surprisingly ok? i didn't do much today. spent all afternoon with a friend, and even though i was feeling a bit off and a bit grumpy, and there was quite a bit of conflict between us (mosty passive aggressive lol) we kind of just hung out anyway and tolerated each other and made disgruntled burritos. i had intended to go to the beach.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Tfw you're a loser and everyone's busy with school but you lol


----------



## Going Sane

like i want to go do great things with my life and not waste it.


----------



## discopotato

pissed off and frustrated.


----------



## SplendidBob

Last night I would have killed myself if I knew of a clean method. I rang up 4 or 5 of the emergency numbers i was given after i left secondary care, supposedly 24 hours none answered. I rang samaritans and spoke to a nice lady but she could neither fix my neck or solve the university workload (and the corresponding meaning w.r.t. me not being able to handle the pressure of the real world).

I would stand a chance if i could use chairs, but this all seems hopeless.

I was invited to a study group on tuesday. People like me. My social problems are dealt with. I cant go because of my neck, and its ****ing breaking my heart.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

BeardedMessiahBob said:


> Last night I would have killed myself if I knew of a clean method. I rang up 4 or 5 of the emergency numbers i was given after i left secondary care, supposedly 24 hours none answered. I rang samaritans and spoke to a nice lady but she could neither fix my neck or solve the university workload (and the corresponding meaning w.r.t. me not being able to handle the pressure of the real world).
> 
> I would stand a chance if i could use chairs, but this all seems hopeless.
> 
> I was invited to a study group on tuesday. People like me. My social problems are dealt with. I cant go because of my neck, and its ****ing breaking my heart.


 Sorry to hear this Bob. Isn't there any kind of a brace or something you can wear? Have you tried writing to people to see if there's any way they can accommodate you so it's not so bad? I can't believe there's no way. I mean if it was something you really didn't want to do in the first place that would be different but if you're willing and able intellectually that's tragic man.


----------



## Kevin001

Sad at the fallen world we live in.....uncle's friend had sex with a 20yr old and she is screaming rape now. If people would just follow God's way and don't have casual sex and don't get drunk then lives would be better but sadly so many people are lost and just want worldly pleasures.


----------



## SofaKing

So pointless. Existing simply isn't worthwhile.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Right when I decided to draw for the first time in a long time I can't find my good pencil art set>: ( That is the thing about moving: something always come up missing. Like a sock getting wash in a washer and drying machine: Where did that other mate go?!


----------



## Crisigv

I guess I'll have to suck it up and go to the walk in clinic tomorrow for this cough.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Kind of irritable.


----------



## komorikun

Black As Day said:


> Right when I decided to draw for the first time in a long time I can't find my good pencil art set>: ( That is the thing about moving: something always come up missing. Like a sock getting wash in a washer and drying machine: Where did that other mate go?!


Often in the space between the washer and dryer or one falls out of the basket/bag as you carry the laundry.

I found one of my socks stuck to the turning thing in the washing machine. I was just about to bring up my last load when I spotted it. The lighting in the laundry room isn't that great.


----------



## tea111red

Purposeless


----------



## 0589471

Confused.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tea111red said:


> Purposeless


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## CWe

Like the green gunk that comes out of your ***


----------



## harrison

Feeling okay - a lovely day outside, going to be about 27 I think. And meeting the family for Sunday lunch at my favourite big Italian place in Carlton.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> Feeling okay - a lovely day outside, going to be about 27 I think. And meeting the family for Sunday lunch at my favourite big Italian place in Carlton.


How's the weather over there? We had thunder and lightning here last night and it's been raining all night and morning with more rain to come.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> How's the weather over there? We had thunder and lightning here last night and it's been raining all night and morning with more rain to come.


Nice day here today mate - about 26 or 27. I just saw a backdrop of Perth actually and thought how nice it looks on the telly. It was on one of those Sunday morning politics shows. Haven't been there for a long time, I've got fond memories of that place.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Still sore, tired.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> Nice day here today mate - about 26 or 27. I just saw a backdrop of Perth actually and thought how nice it looks on the telly. It was on one of those Sunday morning politics shows. Haven't been there for a long time, I've got fond memories of that place.


My grandma reckons Perth has the best weather out of all the cities. I'm actually going for a walk with her and my younger cousin today so we'll get some time to take in the weather.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> My grandma reckons Perth has the best weather out of all the cities. I'm actually going for a walk with her and my younger cousin today so we'll get some time to take in the weather.


Nice - have a good time.

I stayed at a hostel there a long time ago - it was right in the centre of the city. Met some nice people there. Also had an apartment looking over that big park in the city beside the river for a while. One of my old girlfriends was always moving around the damn country with her family and I had to chase her around. Good grief.

Nice place though.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Still sore, tired.


Have a nice rest today mate - maybe just relax and have a quiet Sunday.


----------



## tea111red

Kind of went numb.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Have a nice rest today mate - maybe just relax and have a quiet Sunday.


Thanks mate for your kind words. 

I had some muscle injuries. In addition, had things to do for others which involved hard yakka, so soldiered through the pain to get them done.



tea111red said:


> Kind of went numb.


Awww. :hug


----------



## CNikki

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Confused.


This.


----------



## harrison

Definitely slightly manic. I was driving my wife mad today at the restaurant because I was verbalising basically everything that came into my head. She can always tell and it drives her nuts. Probably is a bit embarassing for her as I don't really care what people around me think when I'm like that - I'll just start talking to anyone. It's hard to control.

Was nice to see them though and I'm calming down now.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Frustrated, wish my parents wouldn't be such extroverts and invite 384294 people over every second day... =.=


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Definitely slightly manic. I was driving my wife mad today at the restaurant because I was verbalising basically everything that came into my head. She can always tell and it drives her nuts. Probably is a bit embarassing for her as I don't really care what people around me think when I'm like that - I'll just start talking to anyone. It's hard to control.
> 
> Was nice to see them though and I'm calming down now.


It happens mate. Some things we have no control over. You have a good wife mate. Thinking she needs something nice done for her to thank her for tolerance.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> It happens mate. Some things we have no control over. You have a good wife mate. Thinking she needs something nice done for her to thank her for tolerance.


Yeah - she has her moments mate. Well, I'll be going up to look after her dog as usual plus I gave her money today to help with things. She's a handful herself usually if the truth be told - so we're probably about even.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yeah - she has her moments mate. Well, I'll be going up to look after her dog as usual pus I gave her money today to help with things. She's a handful herself usually if the truth be told - so we're probably about even.


Don't we all have those moments, we are human.

Good to hear that mate. 

Lucky that you don't get put on pots and pans.


----------



## GunnyHighway

After a big *** bottle of beer, lots of vapes, and some super sappy and emotional TV binge watching, I've crawled my way back to this place. I don't know why...it never seems to end up making me feel any better. 

On the plus side the weather tomorrow will be nice-ish (see: not snowing) and I should be able to wash/wax my car.


----------



## Deaf Mute

I don't want to exist pls let me disappear I hate this


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Don't we all have those moments, we are human.
> 
> Good to hear that mate.
> 
> *Lucky that you don't get put on pots and pans. *


Oh man - does that bring back memories.

I used to do that too. I guess living on your own does have it's advantages mate - only have to cook and clean up for myself now.  (Gets a bit boring though.)


----------



## harrison

Deaf Mute said:


> I don't want to exist pls let me disappear I hate this


Sorry to hear that mate, that's terrible. Hope things pick up for you a bit soon.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Oh man - does that bring back memories.
> 
> I used to do that too. I guess living on your own does have it's advantages mate - only have to cook and clean up for myself now.  (Gets a bit boring though.)


That too. :O


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> That too. :O


She was a hard task master mate. 

No, just kidding. I was like a bit of a house-husband for a fair while. It was only fair - no big deal.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> She was a hard task master mate.
> 
> No, just kidding. I was like a bit of a house-husband for a fair while. It was only fair - no big deal.


:O


----------



## Everlily

I think I'm becoming sick *sneezes* ><


----------



## Fun Spirit

I am SIKE!
I found out that my Mega Million rolled over to $654 Million. 
Boyyyyy I'm about to get me a lottery ticket. 
HA HA HA! ; D
Ching ching all the way
Day and her Family is gonna get paid


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored.

Lonely.


----------



## SofaKing

Just plain sad and frustrated


----------



## harrison

Had a mild asthma/hayfever attack yesterday and again this morning. So weird - I've never really suffered form this before. It's been pretty blowy around here lately and all the plane trees in Melbourne seem to be causing more and more people problems. Went and had a chat to the pharmacist and got one of those puffer things and some antihistamines.

God, I think I'm prepared for just about anything nowadays.


----------



## Crisigv

Very depressed


----------



## Suchness

I’m feeling


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired after a long day, but overall feeling okay. Had a friend over which was nice.



twytarn said:


> Bored.
> 
> Lonely.


 :hug :squeeze



SofaKing said:


> Just plain sad and frustrated


 :rub



Crisigv said:


> Very depressed


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Old.


----------



## Suchness

ANX1 said:


> Old.


Don't worry, in your next life you'll get to feel young again.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Suchness said:


> Don't worry, in your next life you'll get to feel young again.


True that mate. Thanks for the laugh. :grin2:


----------



## MCHB

Can't sleep (never can when I go back to days from afternoons) so I'm getting wired drinking coffee while listening to dubstep (even though dubstep is for pussies!) I haven't blinked in like half an hour which is mildly concerning... :cup


----------



## darlieq

Bloated. Too much risotto.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I don't know if I should be feeling SIKE OUT or spooked because I just had a "Get out of here!!!" moment.


----------



## Vip3r

Tired & grumpy


----------



## conceived sorrow

sick, tired, depressed as ****


----------



## 0589471

jaw pain. so much jaw pain.


----------



## harrison

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> jaw pain. so much jaw pain.


Do you know what's causing that?


----------



## Excaliber

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> jaw pain. so much jaw pain.


Try alternating between applying ice and heat to it?

I hope it isn't TMJD? I have that and it sucks.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I think only a tiny bit of me left want's to live. I don't know if I can honestly say that I wish I never woke up in the morning. I can't commit suicide. It just feels like I exist with horrible pain, but it's not enough to tip me over the edge. I feel like I am stuck in this permanent state of depression. I feel paralyzed.


----------



## 0589471

harrison said:


> Do you know what's causing that?





Excaliber said:


> Try alternating between applying ice and heat to it?
> 
> I hope it isn't TMJD? I have that and it sucks.


Yep TMJD. Ice and NSAIDS for me. I used to get injections but a bit expensive. I'm sorry you have it too Exy


----------



## harrison

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Yep TMJD. Ice and NSAIDS for me. I used to get injections but a bit expensive. I'm sorry you have it too Exy


Jee, I've never heard of that one - hope you've got plenty of painkillers around.


----------



## 0589471

harrison said:


> Jee, I've never heard of that one - hope you've got plenty of painkillers around.


That's where all the headaches I am always on about come from  but yeah ibuprofen and Excedrin seem to work best for me. I just don't like having to take it too often, definitely not good for me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> jaw pain. so much jaw pain.


:hug

A song to hopefully distract you from the pain (since we know you are a Buffy fan) -






Or longer version of some songs from that TV show -


----------



## Kevin001

Grateful....I'm being featured on someone's channel .


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Kevin001 said:


> Grateful....I'm being featured on someone's channel .


:O

That is awesome mate.


----------



## harrison

I'm fine - but it's amazing what a lot of fuss we can get into if we forget our mobile phones. I left mine at home today and couldn't be bothered going back for it - so when I got home my wife had just about blown it up trying to call me.

I had left a message on her workphone but she'd been at a conference all day so hadn't got it. Oh boy.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> I'm fine - but it's amazing what a lot of fuss we can get into if we forget our mobile phones. I left mine at home today and couldn't be bothered going back for it - so when I got home my wife had just about blown it up trying to call me.
> 
> I had left a message on her workphone but she'd be at a conference all day so hadn't got it. Oh boy.


I don't know who's worse, you or your wife.


----------



## Vip3r

Cold, tired and alone.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Frustrated at the world LOL and TFW people can't give a straight yes or no and beat around the brush and you just have to:










:lol


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> I don't know who's worse, you or your wife.


Yeah, I wonder that too sometimes. I'm probably much worse if I'm honest- but she would come a close second. 

She said the other day - we're quite a pair, and she's got a point.


----------



## harrison

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> That's where all the headaches I am always on about come from  but yeah ibuprofen and Excedrin seem to work best for me. I just don't like having to take it too often, definitely not good for me.


Hope your headaches gone now. I take painkillers quite a lot - have had so many headaches over the last couple of months. I've found that that Sumatriptan stuff I told you about before is wonderful - if nothing else works I take one of those as well and it knocks it on the head. (excuse the pun)

My wife's terrible taking pills. She gets migraine or tension headaches now sometimes too and it's incredibly frustrating because I can usually only convince her to take one paracetamol. That wouldn't do anything for me at all.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> Yeah, I wonder that too sometimes. I'm probably much worse if I'm honest- but she would come a close second.
> 
> She said the other day - we're quite a pair, and she's got a point.


Interesting pair! Hot and cold, yin and yang all working together.


----------



## 0589471

harrison said:


> Hope your headaches gone now. I take painkillers quite a lot - have had so many headaches over the last couple of months. I've found that that Sumatriptan stuff I told you about before is wonderful - if nothing else works I take one of those as well and it knocks it on the head. (excuse the pun)
> 
> My wife's terrible taking pills. She gets migraine or tension headaches now sometimes too and it's incredibly frustrating because I can usually only convince her to take one paracetamol. That wouldn't do anything for me at all.


thanks!  I'm doing a bit better now. I have to see my GP to get back on rizatriptan. It seems to be the only thing that REALLY worked and it is in the sumatriptan family 

Yeah it's safe to be careful with pills though I can sense her concern. Still I can never understand people who only take one...doesn't do anything


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> Interesting pair! Hot and cold, yin and yang all working together.


Yeah, "interesting's" a word you could use alright.

Fortunately she's calmed down now.


----------



## harrison

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> thanks!  I'm doing a bit better now. I have to see my GP to get back on rizatriptan. It seems to be the only thing that REALLY worked and it is in the sumatriptan family
> 
> Yeah it's safe to be careful with pills though I can sense her concern. Still I can never understand people who only take one...doesn't do anything


That's good - glad you're a bit better. Yeah, I'm very impressed with these Sumatriptan things. I can remember ages ago when they first came out and they were about 30 bucks a tablet. Now they're on the PBS thing and much cheaper - so I've got a nice little stock-pile, just in case.

Shame I can't send a few over.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Tired of the depression. I'm supposed to be meeting someone for a chat at some point, but I can't help but feel like I really shouldn't be bothering with people unless I've sorted my lack of employment out, which is next to impossible. What I would give to meet someone who could truly empathize with me and realize how ****ing difficult it's been to live with my issues.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Bad and hopeless. 
I'm going to ask God why do I struggle more than the average struggle.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Black As Day said:


> Bad and hopeless.
> I'm going to ask God why do I struggle more than the average struggle.


 :hug


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling really fat and ugly right now. Wish I was different.


----------



## SofaKing

Crisigv said:


> Feeling really fat and ugly right now. Wish I was different.


Especially after some unfortunate binging, I feel this too even though I'm sure it hasn't made a big or permanent difference.

Our moods really do affect how we perceive ourselves physically, though.

Hugs


----------



## Crisigv

SofaKing said:


> Especially after some unfortunate binging, I feel this too even though I'm sure it hasn't made a big or permanent difference.
> 
> Our moods really do affect how we perceive ourselves physically, though.
> 
> Hugs


Thanks


----------



## funnynihilist

Crisigv said:


> Feeling really fat and ugly right now. Wish I was different.


Probably not much of a consolation, but you can now legally by weed...


----------



## Ekardy

I don't know anymore.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Crappy.


----------



## 0589471

alone


----------



## Ekardy

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> alone


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Anhedonia.



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> alone


:hug :squeeze



twytarn said:


> Crappy.


:hug :squeeze



Ekardy said:


> I don't know anymore.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@iAmCodeMonkey Thanks.


----------



## Crisigv

funnynihilist said:


> Probably not much of a consolation, but you can now legally by weed...


Yeah, doesn't do me much good, I don't smoke. Good for those who do, I guess.


----------



## funnynihilist

Crisigv said:


> Yeah, doesn't do me much good, I don't smoke. Good for those who do, I guess.


Do an edible


----------



## Crisigv

funnynihilist said:


> Do an edible


Don't really care to try it, tbh. Maybe someday.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

twytarn said:


> @*iAmCodeMonkey* Thanks.


No problem.


----------



## Rickets

Relentlessly tired.


----------



## tehuti88

Like useless trash.


----------



## harrison

Knackered. I had to have another little snooze this afternoon to get rid of my latest headache. Had to come home and have one of my migraine tablets then lie down.


----------



## tea111red

my posts are embarrassing.


----------



## tea111red

Getting that non-human or whatever feeling again.


----------



## Nekobasu

with only an classic "emoticon" show how you feel now? (｡◕‿◕｡)


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I don't know whether I should try and get to know this new person or not. I'm too broken to bother with anyone tbh. I can't go through the pain of trying with someone who won't accept me for the way I am again. I'm ashamed of who I am again and just feel too miserable to try with anyone. I ****ing hate myself again now tbh.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

lol @ the posts I made 10 days or so ago. I'm actually feeling alright today and have all day, despite the hit to my self esteem a B- on a paper caused. Tomorrow - at least at this stage - I think I'll hang out with a guy I kind of like, buy some fresh new clothes, come visit my crush.. I'm not gonna let myself get sad if my uni friends don't make an effort like usual


----------



## Ekardy

Overwhelmed. Nervous. Anxious. Like a deer caught in headlights. I think I need to pull away.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tehuti88 said:


> Like useless trash.


Aww. :hug



harrison said:


> Knackered. I had to have another little snooze this afternoon to get rid of my latest headache. Had to come home and have one of my migraine tablets then lie down.


I hope you feel better after some sleep mate. 



tea111red said:


> my posts are embarrassing.


Have you seen mine? :O



Ekardy said:


> Overwhelmed. Nervous. Anxious. Like a deer caught in headlights. I think I need to pull away.


:hug

Reminds me of this song -


----------



## Ekardy

ANX1 said:


> :hug
> 
> Reminds me of this song -


:squeeze

I love anything played on a ukulele.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

How am I feeling? I just ate pot roast with mushrooms, onions and garlic for breakfast so my innards are feeling nice. And yet I have a kind of almost there headache that feels like it's getting worse. Simultaneously, I have my space heater running and have a tower fan situated on the side of my head that has the headache blowing air on it (because that makes it not hurt as much).

I'm planning a cup of coffee in the immediate future. I have stringy beef strings stuck between my teeth and they're being stubborn. I can't get them out.

Other than that, I feel.......like I exist.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> :squeeze
> 
> I love anything played on a ukulele.


Then you might like Tyler playing a bit of Elvis with a Ukulele -


----------



## Kilgore Trout

OK.


----------



## Crisigv

Like a crazy mess


----------



## Ekardy

ANX1 said:


> Then you might like Tyler playing a bit of Elvis with a Ukulele -


Anxy, I love you and your videos. :squeeze 
This is actually one of my favorite covers of all time. :heart
When I'm feeling not ok, I sometimes play this song and it makes me happy so thank you for posting it right now.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Feeling jealous. Why can't that be my life? Oh well.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Anxy, I love you and your videos. :squeeze
> This is actually one of my favorite covers of all time. :heart
> When I'm feeling not ok, I sometimes play this song and it makes me happy so thank you for posting it right now.


You're welcome. 

Billy has that effect sometimes with his positive words in his songs -


----------



## Vip3r

I have been feeling depressed, grumpy and slightly anxious for a few days. Hopefully, my ssri is not pooping out, and it is just stress related.


----------



## Suchness

Like I didn’t get enough sleep. As usual.


----------



## CNikki

Hazy. That's all I will say.


----------



## Ekardy

Broken.
I know I’m supposed to pick up the pieces and put them back together again but I can’t.
I don’t want to. I rather stay broken than become broken again.


----------



## Vivian Darkbloom

Well, I haven't been sleeping, so basically like I've been dead since the Reagan Administration or something.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, alone, worried about my sick loved one ẃho is not well.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Tired, alone, worried about my sick loved one ẃho is not well.


Sorry to hear mate, don't worry we're still here.


----------



## 0589471

stupid


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Sorry to hear mate, don't worry we're still here.


Thank you for your kind words mate, much appreciated. 

Not sure how to thank you, others here for your kind post's. But your kindness seems to make me feel less alone.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> hurt


Awww, butters. :hug


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Thank you for your kind words mate, much appreciated.
> 
> Not sure how to thank you, others here for your kind post's. But your kindness seems to make me feel less alone.


That's okay mate - I think most of use get pretty lonely on here sometimes, I certainly do. Hope you're feeling a bit better soon.

Did you see Harry and Meghan on Bondi Beach this morning? I grew up in Sydney and never went there much - but nowadays whenever I see it on the TV I realise what a great beach it is. Beautiful place.






They met these people that go every Friday for the fluoro thing - it was started by one of the surfers for people with mental health issues. I should go one day if I'm up there.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> That's okay mate - I think most of use get pretty lonely on here sometimes, I certainly do. Hope you're feeling a bit better soon.


Thanks mate. 



harrison said:


> Did you see Harry and Meghan on Bondi Beach this morning? I grew up in Sydney and never went there much - but nowadays whenever I see it on the TV I realise what a great beach it is. Beautiful place.


No. Thank you for sharing that video clíp. 

Sometimes watch Bondi rescue and they meet some interesting characters, celebrities.



harrison said:


> They met these people that go every Friday for the fluoro thing - it was started by one of the surfers for people with mental health issues. I should go one day if I'm up there.


That is cool.


----------



## harrison

Ekardy said:


> Broken.
> I know I'm supposed to pick up the pieces and put them back together again but I can't.
> I don't want to. I rather stay broken than become broken again.





A Toxic Butterfly said:


> stupid


I think you girls should get together soon and go see a movie or something. Cheer each other up. 

Hope you're both okay over there.


----------



## Deaf Mute

When you feel sl utty but haven't even done anything naughty :haha


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Confused, and hurt. 

Discarded.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

twytarn said:


> Confused, and hurt.
> 
> Discarded.


That sounds awful!  :hug :squeeze



harrison said:


> I think you girls should get together soon and go see a movie or something. Cheer each other up.
> 
> Hope you're both okay over there.


What he said.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I feel sorry for a couple of my old mates who're nice blokes. Ones going to end up losing his job and becoming an alcoholic because he's broken from his ex wife leaving him. The other is painfully thin and looks like he hasn't washed for years. All he does is work and looks after his old man who's ill. Both are just stuck at home with their fathers, living dull, miserable lives.


----------



## SofaKing

It's 5:30pm on a Friday. I still sit at my desk waiting to go home...but to what?

A TV? a bottle of bourbon?

Nothingness and nobody.

The "kids" that are all besties were clearly making after work plans as they do most weeks. They walked by...not even a "have a nice weekend".

What's left of my natural life is a pointless waist of oxygen. *Not that it has to be, but I let it be. It's my fault...I'm doing this by action or inaction, but it's all on me.*

I seem more inclined to take drastic and conclusive actions rather than to continuously fail at making myself engaged and fulfilled in life.

I'm not young...I don't have a whole life ahead of me. I've lived a full life and done many amazing things, but what's really left that I will enjoy when I'm paralyzed to do anything when it's just me?

"It"...has...won.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> It's 5:30pm on a Friday. I still sit at my desk waiting to go home...but to what?
> 
> A TV? a bottle of bourbon?
> 
> Nothingness and nobody.
> 
> The "kids" that are all besties were clearly making after work plans as they do most weeks. They walked by...not even a "have a nice weekend".
> 
> What's left of my natural life is a pointless waist of oxygen. *Not that it has to be, but I let it be. It's my fault...I'm doing this by action or inaction, but it's all on me.*
> 
> I seem more inclined to take drastic and conclusive actions rather than to continuously fail at making myself engaged and fulfilled in life.
> 
> I'm not young...I don't have a whole life ahead of me. I've lived a full life and done many amazing things, but what's really left that I will enjoy when I'm paralyzed to do anything when it's just me?
> 
> "It"...has...won.


Mate, you have a job, your own place. I wish I had those things as I would put myself out their much more if I did. I wish I had those things and wish I'd lived and done amazing things. Only time I've been happy is during the weeks I was with her. Got nothing else to look back on and I'm almost ****ing 41, ffs. I should be meeting a fellow SA woman next week, but no idea what will come of that. I gotta do it out of desperation. You're in a better position than me. You have a lot to offer and have even said so yourself. I wish you could try and meet someone.


----------



## SofaKing

Pete Beale said:


> Mate, you have a job, your own place. I wish I had those things as I would put myself out their much more if I did. I wish I had those things and wish I'd lived and done amazing things. Only time I've been happy is during the weeks I was with her. Got nothing else to look back on and I'm almost ****ing 41, ffs. I should be meeting a fellow SA woman next week, but no idea what will come of that. I gotta do it out of desperation. You're in a better position than me. You have a lot to offer and have even said so yourself. I wish you could try and meet someone.


Please don't give me the who has it worse or better angle on this. Did Anthony Bourdain, Robbin Williams, etc., have it better too?

You've got someone to meet up with. You should be happy at that prospect that is so impossibly rare for many of us. Regardless you have a right to your outlook without the need for comparisons.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> Please don't give me the who has it worse or better angle on this. Did Anthony Bourdain, Robbin Williams, etc., have it better too?
> 
> You've got someone to meet up with. You should be happy at that prospect that is so impossibly rare for many of us. Regardless you have a right to your outlook without the need for comparisons.


Mate, my whole adult life I've been alone apart from her. Before I met her there was no one. For well over 13 years I hadn't socialized at all with anyone. I've barely been outside this year and haven't been outside for nearly 2 months, and I'm very worried that I could end up getting hurt again. For me, meeting people is extremely rare too. This person has just come out of no where basically and I barely know her. You've mentioned past relationships and you've met someone from here before. I just hope you can try and meet someone again because if you could you've got things like a job and place of your own going for you, and you've said yourself that you've been good to people in the past. I think you have a lot going for you mate and I hope there's someone out their.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Numb and empty. The endorphins are not working today.

My blind eye is achy and watery from this cold I have too.

YAY FOR ME!!! :lol


----------



## SofaKing

Yeah...booze was my only outlet, tonight.


iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Numb and empty. The endorphins are not working today.
> 
> My blind eye is achy and watery from this cold I have too.
> 
> YAY FOR ME!!!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Yeah...booze was my only outlet, tonight.


I had some too. :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Worried about my sick loved one.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel horrible. I am horrible.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I feel horrible. I am horrible.


Awww. :hug

No you are not, you are named amazing. 

Party time -






:yes


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Tired. I need some sleep. Gonna catch some z's.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> Worried about my sick loved one.


 :rub


----------



## Suchness

Like death. Barely got any sleep last night.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Tired. I need some sleep. Gonna catch some z's.





Suchness said:


> Like death. Barely got any sleep last night.


A song for both of you -






Wish you both good sleep. 



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub


 Thanks mate.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Trapped. Don't want this ****ing life but it's all I've ever known for far too long. No idea why I'm trying to meet someone else either as it's going to die instantly or somewhere down the road, and I'm no where near over losing her. I don't even want to try and meet anyone else tbh. I'm just going to end up going into something again when I'm broken and don't love myself.


----------



## CNikki

Really tired.


----------



## SofaKing

CNikki said:


> Really tired.


Yeah...I woke up too early for a Saturday.


----------



## CNikki

SofaKing said:


> Yeah...I woke up too early for a Saturday.


Kept waking up during the night so I made use of trying to get what ever shuteye I could. Nice while it lasted.


----------



## Crisigv

Exhausted and lifeless


----------



## dragonfruit

Jealousy and anger. I saw a photo on my local community group and saw two people who got my old jobs after I was let go because of "lack" of funding. One was hired six weeks after I was let go, the other was put on after I stopped getting casual work.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Stuffed up and needing a caffeine boost.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> Trapped. Don't want this ****ing life but it's all I've ever known for far too long. No idea why I'm trying to meet someone else either as it's going to die instantly or somewhere down the road, and I'm no where near over losing her. I don't even want to try and meet anyone else tbh. I'm just going to end up going into something again when I'm broken and don't love myself.


 :rub


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@ANX1 lol I slept good last night.  Or this morning rather.


----------



## Meisha12

Energized after drinking an energy drink. The bottle looked just like a Mega Man E capsule.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Exhausted and lifeless


Aww. :hug

I hope you feel better after some sleep. 



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Stuffed up and needing a caffeine boost.


Try breathing in and out fully. I find when feel tired, just breathing wrong (like breathing when are sleeping).



scintilla said:


> Restless.
> 
> Also I'm feeling a bit under the weather, like I might be starting to get sick...for like the billionth time this year. It makes sense because literally everyone at work is sick right now and if anyone is going to catch it, it's going to be me.


Heaps of vitamin C (Charlies pure orange juice or cut up oranges), especially if it's the flu.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> @*ANX1* lol I slept good last night.  Or this morning rather.


That is good to hear.


----------



## 0589471

So difficult to talk to. I should probably live in the wilderness because even though I enjoy talking to some people I can't seem to manage it very well. I only seem to make people want to get out of it as soon as possible. I don't know what I'm going to do tonight. I keep picturing waiting in the long crowded lines and trying to manage a conversation.


----------



## komorikun

dragonfruit said:


> Jealousy and anger. I saw a photo on my local community group and saw two people who got my old jobs after I was let go because of "lack" of funding. One was hired six weeks after I was let go, the other was put on after I stopped getting casual work.


Were you working at a non-profit?


----------



## Meisha12

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> So difficult to talk to. I should probably live in the wilderness because even though I enjoy talking to some people I can't seem to manage it very well. I only seem to make people want to get out of it as soon as possible. I don't know what I'm going to do tonight. I keep picturing waiting in the long crowded lines and trying to manage a conversation.


You can practice your conversation skills with me, if you are interested.


----------



## 0589471

Meisha12 said:


> You can practice your conversation skills with me, if you are interested.


That's nice of you but I don't really talk to people here. Kind of forum only


----------



## unemployment simulator

Recently spoke to my sister about my suicidal thoughts that have been bothering me lately I also told my jobcoach about it ,I'm glad I put it out there and let them know. I dunno when I will be signing on again? currently taking an extended period of sickness with it ,just not functioning really right now.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> So difficult to talk to. I should probably live in the wilderness because even though I enjoy talking to some people I can't seem to manage it very well. I only seem to make people want to get out of it as soon as possible. I don't know what I'm going to do tonight. I keep picturing waiting in the long crowded lines and trying to manage a conversation.


 I think because you are used to looking after people and have to act a certain way when around them. I have seen similar behaviour with caregivers, nurses. Sometimes it is a hard habit to break. It is just readjusting to not acting that way which is difficult to do.

Basically it is not what you say, but how you say it. Usually takes a mother to explain ẃhy and what to do. It is not the business of others to tell you (only family). Even me telling you this is crossing that boundary in some ways, as I'm not your family.


----------



## Meisha12

My stomach feels a little upset after eating some beef jerky that was 90% off of the original price.


----------



## Ekardy

Flare up. I hurt. 
**** you Lupus.


----------



## Suchness

Not too bad, got over six hours sleep. Uninterrupted, that’s rare.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Flare up. I hurt.
> **** you Lupus.


You poor thing! 

My friend/penpal who I dated briefly has Fibromyalgia so this post hits close to home. :hug :squeeze


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> You poor thing!
> 
> My friend/penpal who I dated briefly has Fibromyalgia so this post hits close to home. :hug :squeeze


:squeeze


----------



## Eternal Solitude

Empty { }


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Flare up. I hurt.
> **** you Lupus.


Awww. :hug

Just go to the happy place, the school of rock -






:yes



Suchness said:


> Not too bad, got over six hours sleep. Uninterrupted, that's rare.


Song worked? :stu



Eternal Solitude said:


> Empty { }


:hug


----------



## Suchness

ANX1 said:


> Song worked? :stu


I didn't use it, I was just so tired from the night before but thanks for trying.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Suchness said:


> I didn't use it, I was just so tired from the night before but thanks for trying.


Oh, ok. You're welcome.


----------



## harrison

A bit full. Think I ate too much again at lunch with the family. Don't think I'll need any dinner tonight.


----------



## snowhite

Lazy. But it's such a sunny day. I got a free cake and hot drink coupon and thinking I will use it later. Will take my book with me.


----------



## discopotato

the worst pain I've ever felt. the little hope I had left have been shattered. my mom's dying and there's nothing I can do about it. I don't want to be alive


----------



## Crisigv

I'm a mistake


----------



## EarthDominator

Have a migraine for like 5 hours already. Aside from that, really bad.


----------



## SofaKing

I sense I'm spiraling out of control.


----------



## Citrine79

gray and gloomy...just like the weather. I really dislike fall.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Terrible
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## riverbird

Very frustrated.


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> Flare up. I hurt.
> **** you Lupus.


I hope you feel better soon. :squeeze



discopotato said:


> the worst pain I've ever felt. the little hope I had left have been shattered. my mom's dying and there's nothing I can do about it. I don't want to be alive


I am so sorry.  :squeeze


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> I hope you feel better soon. :squeeze


Thank you. :squeeze


----------



## funnynihilist

Hopeless. Stuck. Unmotivated. Bored. Poor.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

]


funnynihilist said:


> Hopeless. Stuck. Unmotivated. Bored. Poor.


Yeah. Tired of this ****. Need a lotto win or I'm ****ed to continue on this none journey, basically.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am feeling okay I guess...

"She" keeps popping in and out of my thoughts even though I know in my heart that really shouldn't be the case.



riverbird said:


> Very frustrated.


:hug



geraltofrivia said:


> Terrible


:rub



Citrine79 said:


> gray and gloomy...just like the weather. I really dislike fall.


:hug



SofaKing said:


> I sense I'm spiraling out of control.


:rub



discopotato said:


> the worst pain I've ever felt. the little hope I had left have been shattered. my mom's dying and there's nothing I can do about it. I don't want to be alive


:hug



Pete Beale said:


> Yeah. Tired of this ****. Need a lotto win or I'm ****ed to continue on this none journey, basically.


:rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

:yes Miss listening to one of the best female rock vocals of the 80's.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am feeling okay I guess...
> 
> "She" keeps popping in and out of my thoughts even though I know in my heart that really shouldn't be the case.
> 
> :hug
> 
> :rub
> 
> :hug
> 
> :rub
> 
> :hug
> 
> :rub


It's so hard to forget about them mate. I had a dream last night where I sat down with her father and he started to cry and admit what he'd done to her, and I comforted him. Felt extra ****ing terrible again all day.


----------



## dragonfruit

Surprised, shocked and slightly hurt today. Today my mother confessed when my husband and I had broken up briefly for seven months (we needed to break up as he had very deep mental health issues he had to address and get professional help) that my husband would call her a few times a week wanting to know where I was and who I was with. He was trying to get information on me. 


Why I was surprised, I had no idea he was calling her or wanting to know about me. As he used to send me very nasty disturbing emails and DMs (he was in deep psychosis) and I would only give short answers or ignore him. It shocked me that even though we didn't communicate by phone, he still wanted me. 


I'm hurt my mother kept this from me. Yes it was a traumatic time in my life and relationship with my husband, I did get back together with him after he got professional help and he spent a few weeks in a mental health hospital. Apparently he would call her while I was at work. He knew my work schedule and I had no idea it was going on. 


Only reason she told me was because my sister's ex partner is harassing our mother on a daily basis wanting info on my sister. I said to my mother "It reminds me so much of when M...broke up with me when he had the mental breakdown. Only thing is he didn't call you every day asking about me." Mother was a bit sheepish and said "He did actually. I didn't tell you because you were already under stress from him and didn't need to be added to it."


----------



## BeamingNow

Kinda pathetic at the moment


----------



## CNikki

A sense of void but at the same time I'm not really complaining. Would rather feel nothing than to feel anything and end up disappointed.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad and lonely. Feeling like I'm not good enough, despite being told otherwise. Will always feel like the outcast. There's always someone new, someone better.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I'm sad and lonely. Feeling like I'm not good enough, despite being told otherwise. Will always feel like the outcast. There's always someone new, someone better.


Aww. :hug

You are amazing you, end of argument over how amazing you are. 

There is people of many looks, personalities, skillsets, etc. It is what makes us individuals. Shouldn't really compare to others who look or act different or other. Maybe look at people with similar looks to see what would suit clothing wise and idea's on career choices with skillsets, things people enjoy with similar personality, etc.


----------



## Deaf Mute

I hate my family and most of all my ****ing father. I don't know how to escape when all he gave me was this POS body and then doesn't fulfill parental responsibilities. I hate his personality and who he is as a person... I don't know even want to know him because I already know so well his stupid behavioral patterns which pisses me off even more.

Why tf do I have to be related and share my genes with him I really feel like puking just knowing I share blood uke


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

So tired. Haven't heard anything back from the person I'm supposed to me meeting. What can I achieve from meeting her anyway? 

I had so much confidence when I met "her". I had no doubts we would get on. I believed we would bond over shared trauma and issues. I was excited to see her and spend time with her. It was bloody great, until it wasn't.

I have no confidence again now. All the progress I made has gone and I'm afraid to open up to people again. I feel so alone. I know I'm alone in this world again and can't face my issues, myself. The amount of work I need to do on myself before I should be trying to talk to anyone, is too much. Too overwhelming. It always was.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I'm too broken to be fixed.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

twytarn said:


> I'm too broken to be fixed.


Feel the same. I've got issues but I'm a good egg, with cracks in me shell. Wish I had someone to accept me for the way I am.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

ANX1 said:


> Tired.


Hope you got some good rest. :/

I'm feeling good after quenching my thirst and also a bit confused.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

twytarn said:


> I'm too broken to be fixed.


Awww. :hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Hope you got some good rest. :/
> 
> I'm feeling good after quenching my thirst and also a bit confused.


Got some sleep, but still feel tired. Thank you for your kind words. 

Good to hear that feel good after quenching your thirst. Awww. :hug


----------



## SofaKing

I know I matter to a few people.

What's sad is that I'm not sure I matter enough to myself.


----------



## tea111red

Going back and forth between wanting to keep trying to overcome and die.


----------



## riverbird

SofaKing said:


> I know I matter to a few people.
> 
> What's sad is that I'm not sure I matter enough to myself.


I know that feeling. :hug


----------



## CNikki

SofaKing said:


> I know I matter to a few people.
> 
> What's sad is that I'm not sure I matter enough to myself.


Similar stance. But I'm leaning more towards questioning if maybe it's doing more harm than good for them, which leads to further questions...


----------



## SofaKing

CNikki said:


> Similar stance. But I'm leaning more towards questioning if maybe it's doing more harm than good for them, which leads to further questions...


Yeah...sometimes you feel you need to save them from yourself. It's definitely a conflict when you know being alone will lead to your untimely death, too.


----------



## Suchness

twytarn said:


> I'm too broken to be fixed.


No you're not. Anyone as intelligent as you has an opportunity to heal.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Suchness said:


> No you're not. Anyone as intelligent as you has an opportunity to heal.


That's very kind of you to say, Suchness. Thank you.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@ANX1 Well, at least you got some sleep but it does suck when you feel tired after getting plenty of sleep.

Haha, yea. It's the small things.


----------



## Going Sane

evening crash


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @*ANX1* Well, at least you got some sleep but it does suck when you feel tired after getting plenty of sleep.
> 
> Haha, yea. It's the small things.


True. I think it was lack of good amount of sleep that just built up over time, then crashed.


----------



## Deaf Mute

I wish I could create my own friends/teammates from clay like Hippolyta sculpted Diana LOL life would be easier :haha


----------



## Suchness

Sometimes it feels amazing to be alive, to feel your presence, to be self aware.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Embarrassed. This woman wouldn't get out of the way at work so I could pay for my drink. I said excuse me. Haha. Then I swiped my card four times and it finally worked and the pen came out of the thing twice. This is why I don't like buying things at the place I work at sometimes. I'm clumsy. Lol


----------



## kesker

twytarn said:


> I'm too broken to be fixed.


Keep going :squeeze :hug


----------



## kesker

I am feeling like a success. I have managed to remain upright even though I am now not sleeping at all. The chills and the random limb numbness and panic attacks and tremors and slight hallucinations can be challenging but here I am. What else can I do? :stu


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

More than a bit lonely today.


----------



## Taaylah

Bad, but I can’t tell in which way, so I just laid in bed all day.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> More than a bit lonely today.


:hug


----------



## Meisha12

Taaylah said:


> Bad, but I can't tell in which way, so I just laid in bed all day.


I've been there. :hug


----------



## Noca

Anxious and nauseous


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Noca said:


> Anxious and nauseous


Damn dude! Where have you been? lol


----------



## Noca

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Damn dude! Where have you been? lol


Was on WrongPlanet, an autism forum. I came back because a mod told me that my account here was hacked and every post I had ever made was edited to advertise cam girls haha. So since I was here I figured I would post again.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Down. I failed my drive's permit today, there's always next time but I was so close.


----------



## Suchness

Only had about three hours sleep, woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall back asleep again. I laid there half asleep so I kind of got some more rest but yeah I can feel it.


----------



## komorikun

Noca said:


> Was on WrongPlanet, an autism forum. I came back because a mod told me that my account here was hacked and every post I had ever made was edited to advertise cam girls haha. So since I was here I figured I would post again.


Looks like Deeper Understanding's posts were all hacked too. I thought it was the signature at first but I guess they went to the trouble of editing all of his posts. So weird.

https://www.socialanxietysupport.co...ous-than-atheist-kids-1647698/#post1083090714


----------



## WillYouStopDave

komorikun said:


> Looks like Deeper Understanding's posts were all hacked too. I thought it was the signature at first but I guess they went to the trouble of editing all of his posts. So weird.
> 
> https://www.socialanxietysupport.co...ous-than-atheist-kids-1647698/#post1083090714


 I seriously doubt any spammer on the planet would go to that much trouble. There must have been some trick to it to automate that somehow.


----------



## Ekardy

Invisible.


----------



## rockyraccoon

Unwanted and not thought of.


----------



## komorikun

WillYouStopDave said:


> I seriously doubt any spammer on the planet would go to that much trouble. There must have been some trick to it to automate that somehow.


Wonder how you would do that. Must have at least one person on their team with crazy tech skills to make a program that will do that.

Hmmm....I'd like to know how. Would be a great way to do a mass deletion of posts or make all the posts become a period.


----------



## Vip3r

Angry, somebody was possibly prowling around my house so I had to come home early from work. It didn't look like anything was disturbed, but I think my dog scared them off.


----------



## 0589471

Vip3r said:


> Angry, somebody was possibly prowling around my house so I had to come home early from work. It didn't look like anything was disturbed, but I think my dog scared them off.


Omg how scary! Glad it seemed that nothing happened. Good thing for our dogs right?? Mine certainly came through when something similar happened. :squeeze


----------



## WillYouStopDave

komorikun said:


> Wonder how you would do that. Must have at least one person on their team with crazy tech skills to make a program that will do that.
> 
> Hmmm....I'd like to know how. Would be a great way to do a mass deletion of posts or make all the posts become a period.


 Your guess is as good as mine. There doesn't appear to be any obvious way a user can do this using the interface that is available. Maybe he was posting from a mobile or something and whatever app he was using was hackable somehow. You know that "posted via mobile device" notation at the bottom? That's actually in the body of the post and gets put there automatically. If someone found a way to replace that text with spam links, maybe that's how.


----------



## Vip3r

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Omg how scary! Glad it seemed that nothing happened. Good thing for our dogs right?? Mine certainly came through when something similar happened. :squeeze


Yeah, it is a good thing for our dogs. Mine isn't big enough to do anything, but he is a great deterrent. He barks like a big dog, haha. I am going to get a new lock for my gate tomorrow (old one is broken). I am also going to buy some beware of dog signs and whatever else I can find that looks intimidating, haha. Sorry, you had to deal with something similar. It is scary :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Invisible.


Oh, there you are. :hug


----------



## Ekardy

ANX1 said:


> Oh, there you are. :hug


:lol

You found me. :heart :squeeze


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Angry, somebody was possibly prowling around my house so I had to come home early from work. It didn't look like anything was disturbed, but I think my dog scared them off.


Omg! That's scary! Glad everything ended up fine. :squeeze 
Btw I've missed you!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> :lol
> 
> You found me. :heart :squeeze


:grin2:

A great game that hide and go seek is.


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> Omg! That's scary! Glad everything ended up fine. :squeeze
> Btw I've missed you!


Thanks :squeeze I can't wait to move out of this area.

I have missed you as well. :grin2: Seems like all I do is work and sleep lately, lol.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Btw I've missed you!


If he is invisible too and is carrying drinks to deliver, you'll need one of these to find him again and again and again -






:b


----------



## Paul

WillYouStopDave said:


> It just seems a bit odd for them to find a couple of accounts that seem to have been abandoned and go to the trouble of doing that, though. Seems like more than a trivial amount of work for a standard spammer spamming camgirls. Almost seems like someone would have to have some kind of agenda to bother with such a thing. I've never seen spammers spend more time than they absolutely have to.


It's no trouble. No human actually visited SAS, the script compiled a list of vbulletin forums and attempted to crack all of our passwords here and at many other sites. Inputting millions upon millions of login attempts is easy for a computer, and if just a couple of accounts per site get cracked it'll easily pay for itself.

A camgirl website owner makes a post somewhere saying "We'll pay x bitcoin for y links to our site from sites with z popularity level", a 15 year old in a basement replies "ok, send me the link", then the 15 year old pastes the link into the script and clicks go. The camgirl website pays up and no human has spent more than a couple minutes on the whole thing. Meanwhile the camgirl website sees improved search engine rankings and new traffic thanks to links from popular websites.


----------



## BevShares

Sad. Worried. Distracted. It’s the middle of the night, I’m not sleeping, and I’m not studying for my exam tomorrow even though I’ve been trying to all night. Life sucks. :|


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Untrusting. More jaded than usual. Foolish. 

Tired, I got like 3 hours of sleep, and I have a headache.


----------



## Suchness

twytarn said:


> Untrusting. More jaded than usual. Foolish.
> 
> Tired, I got like 3 hours of sleep, and I have a headache.


I had three hours last night, it's been a hell of a day.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Suchness said:


> I had three hours last night, it's been a hell of a day.


Let's take a nap.


----------



## Suchness

twytarn said:


> Let's take a nap.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@Suchness :lol Perfect.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lonely. Brutal loneliness. I've got a meet the weekend that I'm going to have to force myself to go to, only to come away on my own at the end of it, missing her and feeling lonely as ****. I ****ing miss her so much and it'll be a year, a week today since I saw her. May as well have been a day since I last saw her. How I'm supposed to get over this loss, when she's all I ever knew for so long, and it's impossible to connect with other people, I don't know. Loneliness and her, is all I've ever known.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling a little productive. Got a few things done around the house that I have been putting off because I never have the energy. I'm surprised though because I was feeling pretty down and crappy right before. Not sure where the energy came from. I'll take it.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Who the hell cares...


----------



## SofaKing

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Who the hell cares...


The one's who care, you don't care that they care. The one's you want to care, don't care.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> The one's who care, you don't care that they care. The one's you want to care, don't care.


Sounds pretty damn accurate :lol


----------



## Meisha12

twytarn said:


> Untrusting. More jaded than usual. Foolish.
> 
> Tired, I got like 3 hours of sleep, and I have a headache.


Hope you get your sleep caught up.


----------



## SplendidBob

Mischievous like a trickster cow


----------



## CNikki

Exhausted. Not just physically, also psychologically...


----------



## snowhite

I'm happy but I feel sick, I'm glad Friday's coming.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Exhausted. Not just physically, also psychologically...


:hug :squeeze


----------



## Meisha12

I'm feeling the clothes that I'm wearing and the chair that I'm sitting in, right now.


----------



## Crisigv

I was feeling dizzy and nauseous earlier from some medication for my cough. It went away briefly, now its back and I'm giving my body a peptalk to just get rid of the pain. Like that'll work.


----------



## Suchness

Meisha12 said:


> I'm feeling the clothes that I'm wearing and the chair that I'm sitting in, right now.


Do you feel your breath and inner aliveness?


----------



## Meisha12

Suchness said:


> Do you feel your breath and inner aliveness?


Nah, how about you, lol?

I feel my soul inside of my body, though. It feels like it does weigh 22 grams.


----------



## Suchness

Meisha12 said:


> Nah, how about you, lol?
> 
> I feel my soul inside of my body, though. It feels like it does weigh 22 grams.


Nah man, I was hoping you do.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I was feeling dizzy and nauseous earlier from some medication for my cough. It went away briefly, now its back and I'm giving my body a peptalk to just get rid of the pain. Like that'll work.


Awww. I hope you get better quickly. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> I was feeling dizzy and nauseous earlier from some medication for my cough. It went away briefly, now its back and I'm giving my body a peptalk to just get rid of the pain. Like that'll work.


Hope you feel better soon. :rub


----------



## Crisigv

ANX1 said:


> Awww. I hope you get better quickly. :hug





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Hope you feel better soon. :rub


Thanks. Head and stomach feel better. But I still have to take medicine, so hopefully it doesn't happen again.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Thanks. Head and stomach feel better. But I still have to take medicine, so hopefully it doesn't happen again.


You're welcome. 

Good to hear that you are getting better. 

Hope the medicine helps.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Not good... I feel like I am about to cry... I need someone else in my life to help me get over "her."



Crisigv said:


> Thanks. Head and stomach feel better. But I still have to take medicine, so hopefully it doesn't happen again.


No problem. Good to hear your tummy and head feel better. I hope it stays away too. :hug :squeeze


----------



## 0589471

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Not good... I feel like I am about to cry... I need someone else in my life to help me get over "her."


:squeeze hang in there monkey! You're always so sweet and encouraging to us here. it's going to be okay :hug


----------



## Lonely Hobbit

Depressed and in excruciating pain.


----------



## Barakiel

A little bit of nightly dread which isn’t unusual, I tried my new anxiety meds a few hours ago and they were helping then though.


----------



## discopotato

No words are good enough to describe it. What I feel right now is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

discopotato said:


> No words are good enough to describe it. What I feel right now is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy


You poor thing! :squeeze:hug



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> :squeeze hang in there monkey! You're always so sweet and encouraging to us here. it's going to be okay :hug


Thank you. You're an angel. :hug


----------



## discopotato

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> You poor thing! :squeeze:hug


:squeeze:squeeze:squeeze


----------



## komorikun

Woozy after eating 2 candy bars and 3 sticks of string cheese. Not a lot really, Lately after lunch at work I feel all sleepy and irritable
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## WillYouStopDave

komorikun said:


> Woozy after eating 2 candy bars and 3 sticks of string cheese. Not a lot really, Lately after lunch at work I feel all sleepy and irritable
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 You should get checked for diebeetus. That's a big red flag. Cheese isn't that carby but candy bars will kick your but if you have diabetes.


----------



## komorikun

WillYouStopDave said:


> You should get checked for diebeetus. That's a big red flag. Cheese isn't that carby but candy bars will kick your but if you have diabetes.


I don't even want to know if I have diabetes. Then I'd have to eat healthy. I'd rather be dead than eat healthy food all the time. Food is one of the few enjoyments in my life since I have no social life and no boyfriend.


----------



## Meisha12

I feel all string-cheesy after eating a woozle.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

komorikun said:


> I don't even want to know if I have diabetes. Then I'd have to eat healthy. I'd rather be dead than eat healthy food all the time. Food is one of the few enjoyments in my life since I have no social life and no boyfriend.


 Well, if they were chocolate bars, it could also just be indigestion. Acid indigestion will cause nausea. This is probably more likely if it was dark chocolate. That's why I started eating milk chocolate instead. I kept getting bad indigestion from dark chocolate.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ugh.


----------



## riverbird

Kind of scared of the future.


----------



## SofaKing

riverbird said:


> Kind of scared of the future.


Yes...difficult to predict and stressful to cope with when pessimistic.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Dead inside.


----------



## SofaKing

Persephone The Dread said:


> Dead inside.


I'm sorry. You're a fascinating and intelligent person. So am I, but also feel pretty empty these days.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

SofaKing said:


> I'm sorry. You're a fascinating and intelligent person. So am I, but also feel pretty empty these days.


Thanks, just in a weird/down mood today I guess. I mean I often feel down, but not always this weird numb feeling. Sorry you're feeling bad.


----------



## tea111red

Listless


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> Listless


Here, have some energy.


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> Here, have some energy.


Probably need a power plant's worth of energy and to be hooked up to some high voltage battery.  Thanks, though...the sentiment is nice.


----------



## tea111red

Maybe your comment helped give me the energy to post that last msg.


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> Maybe your comment helped give me the energy to post that last msg.


Maybe it did in some way universal energetic way. Like some universal law of yin and yang, push and pull. I dunno, it's all so philosophical.


----------



## ThermobaricTank

I feel combat-ready!


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel like my life is on a slow decline to hell.


----------



## Taaylah

It’s hard for me to put into words


----------



## 0589471

Tired. Everybody is quiet today too.


----------



## Chris S W

Sorrowful and hopeless.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Dark clouds are forming overhead again, and no, I am not talking about the weather. Time to go for a virtual drive to try and cheer myself up. :rain


----------



## Zatch

Warm. It feels a lot more mild than it has the rest of the week, so walking around outside for a while wasn't so bad. Did splurge a bit on food and stuff. Gotta live a little.


----------



## 3stacks

Zatch said:


> Warm. It feels a lot more mild than it has the rest of the week, so walking around outside for a while wasn't so bad. Did splurge a bit on food and stuff. Gotta live a little.


You're lucky! It's freezing here. Permanently hard nip weather it seems.


----------



## SplendidBob

A bit trollish tbh.



3stacks said:


> You're lucky! It's freezing here. Permanently hard nip weather it seems.


Pics


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Really good as this song is giving a good buzzzzzzz -






Oh, ahhhhhh. :lol

In addition, the houses, etc reminds me of the village my family had in France. It basically was a castle with walls, etc.


----------



## Kevin001

Might be getting sick, hope not. Feeling weird.


----------



## Ekardy

Kevin001 said:


> Might be getting sick, hope not. Feeling weird.


Hope you're not. :squeeze Hope you start feeling better soon.


----------



## SofaKing

Like I'm ready.


----------



## Kevin001

Ekardy said:


> Hope you're not. :squeeze Hope you start feeling better soon.


Aww thanks Selena Gomez...I mean Cardi B.....I mean Kardy .


----------



## Ekardy

Kevin001 said:


> Aww thanks Selena Gomez...I mean Cardi B.....I mean Kardy .


:lol :b


----------



## harrison

Better than yesterday - just exhausted. Took a bit more of my bipolar medication yesterday and it must have started to kick in a bit last night because my symptoms started to ease. What a horrible day. I have to push myself to get a new shrink - I find them quite annoying but one of them must have some idea what's going on with me.


----------



## harrison

SofaKing said:


> Like I'm ready.


This will pass mate. I hope you're okay - hang in there.


----------



## 3stacks

BeardedMessiahBob said:


> A bit trollish tbh.
> 
> Pics


It's all I have. Please keep this pic just between us


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> It's all I have. Please keep this pic just between us


Jesus that's funny. Thanks for the laugh. 

(and they used to say that anything more than a handful's wasted - personally I never believed them though)

Sorry ladies btw.


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> Jesus that's funny. Thanks for the laugh.
> 
> (and they used to say that anything more than a handful's wasted - personally I never believed them though)
> 
> Sorry ladies btw.


Hahaha whoever said that was lying


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious. Helpless.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Jealous, envious.... :s I hate being so fricken expendable, I wish I was like them.. special, valued, desired, loved, cared for, admired, not-deficient, "have enough money", not fking insecure, talented, social life blah blah blah. You don't have to be perfect to have all of that, they aren't. 

WHy do I have to be some expendable POS loser that can't do anything and is worthless :O


----------



## SplendidBob

Universe crams another turd down my throat. Well two. Never just the one eh?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Cold and lonely. I am used to it by now.



twytarn said:


> Anxious. Helpless.


:hug :squeeze



Deaf Mute said:


> Jealous, envious.... :s I hate being so fricken expendable, I wish I was like them.. special, valued, desired, loved, cared for, admired, not-deficient, "have enough money", not fking insecure, talented, social life blah blah blah. You don't have to be perfect to have all of that, they aren't.
> 
> WHy do I have to be some expendable POS loser that can't do anything and is worthless :O


 :rub



BeardedMessiahBob said:


> Universe crams another turd down my throat. Well two. Never just the one eh?


 :rub

I hope you guys are feeling okay.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Stressed out. It never ends. :mum


----------



## Suchness

twytarn said:


> Stressed out. It never ends. :mum


This too shall pass.


----------



## CNikki

Not sure if I'm too anxious to be tired or too tired to be anxious. System's broken.


----------



## funnynihilist

The universe always knows how to jerk me back into reality...


----------



## Ekardy

Too stressed out to function. :bah


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Better than yesterday - just exhausted. Took a bit more of my bipolar medication yesterday and it must have started to kick in a bit last night because my symptoms started to ease. What a horrible day. I have to push myself to get a new shrink - I find them quite annoying but one of them must have some idea what's going on with me.


Sorry to hear that you have been through that mate. 



BeardedMessiahBob said:


> Universe crams another turd down my throat. Well two. Never just the one eh?


Until hit the burbs where...... :O


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Sorry to hear that you have been through that mate.


Thanks mate - feeling a lot better now. Had more of my medication - I need to keep taking it and stop being silly. :roll


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - feeling a lot better now. Had more of my medication - I need to keep taking it and stop being silly. :roll


You're welcome. 

Good to hear mate. 

One of those things one wishes to deal with naturally without medicines.


----------



## Zatch

Very good. I've come a lot farther than I realized, after some deeper self-assessment. Picking back up productive pastimes since I'm getting much less overtime and more time to myself.

Might not last long since I've developed into a bit of a workaholic, something I overlooked in my personal development. I'll probably venture out looking for more work soon.


----------



## harrison

A bit strange. Always feel a bit out of it when I start this stuff again - it's a shame it doesn't last though, you get used to it.


----------



## Chris S W

I haven't felt much anxiety today, strangely. Been feeling calm but quite empty.


----------



## tea111red

I feel directionless in a lot of ways and hate it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

In pain a little. The backs of my knees still hurt but nothing unbearable. I think it's from exercising before work and then walking home after work. Might be a bit too much on my legs in one day but they need it. I limped on the way home some but said screw it and just kept trying to walk without limping. I got this. I can keep doing it. I think it was just a bit too much cause that's my first time limping on my way home. Haha. I think I'll give them a bit of a rest tomorrow but I'm not stopping. I like to move around some.


----------



## 0589471

one more day of October, so sad.


----------



## Vip3r

Tired and lonely.


----------



## Flora20

Lately been feeling empty..


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Pretty down, combined with feeling like a failure and the most pathetic person alive. Hopefully I'll get at least some enjoyment out of tonight. Also slightly ill right now.


----------



## Zatch

Pumpkin spice, with a hint of embarrassment. What a weird start to the day.


----------



## Kevin001

A little stuffy.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Good, dancing to remixes of songs of which is raising my spirits.


----------



## bipolar92

Hungry and upbeat

Deep down inside I'm still depressed because I don't know what's happening with my hearing.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling better with the backs of my knees but embarrassed that someone at work was asking me where a friend was and I thought he asked me something that was way off of what he actually said so I just laughed and said Oh, I thought you said something else. But he was talking kinda low anyways so I guess it wasn't too awkward.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and lost


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Right now? Lonely and empty... it's okay SASers, I am used to feeling this way by now. Hopefully the coffee I am drinking will help perk me up a bit...

Happy Halloween!


----------



## komorikun

Right hand that holds the mouse is cold.


----------



## andy1984

good. clean. warm. satiated. relaxed. i just did a lot of personal grooming stuff.


----------



## harrison

Still slightly spaced out from this medication - but it's better than how I feel if I don't take it.

It's also nice and warm today - supposed to be 33 outside. I can feel it even inside my apartment. I love it - can't wait to get up to Bali and some real heat.


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Right now? Lonely and empty... it's okay SASers, I am used to feeling this way by now. Hopefully the coffee I am drinking will help perk me up a bit...
> 
> Happy Halloween!




:squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> :squeeze


:hug

Thanks for caring enough to reply.


----------



## Vip3r

Feeling lonely and unliked a lot lately.


----------



## 0589471

Vip3r said:


> Feeling lonely and unliked a lot lately.


No! :squeeze I'm sorry. You are well liked here!


----------



## andy0128

Better than earlier i guess. Woke up during the night feeling particularly stressed and fed up with my situation.


----------



## Girlinterrupted333

Unappreciated.


----------



## Vip3r

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> No! :squeeze I'm sorry. You are well liked here!


Thanks :squeeze


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Vip3r said:


> Feeling lonely and unliked a lot lately.


Sorry you're feeling this way.  Things will turn around.


----------



## Excaliber

Tired, very tired. I've been sick the last two weeks and just starting to get a bit better now.


----------



## Taaylah

I’m nervous


----------



## Biggus Dickus

Horny!


----------



## 3stacks

Taaylah said:


> I'm nervous


 hope you feel better soon!


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Feeling lonely and unliked a lot lately.


You're not unliked! :squeeze

Don't think that way! :bat

:hug I'm sorry you feel this way.


----------



## Taaylah

3stacks said:


> hope you feel better soon!


I am feeling better thanks  Hope you've been doing well


----------



## 3stacks

Taaylah said:


> I am feeling better thanks  Hope you've been doing well


Good! I think I'm starting to get better, I been feeling pretty good the last few days so hopefully it lasts haha. Thanks for asking, I appreciate it.


----------



## Flora20

Really stressed out and lonely...


----------



## Taaylah

3stacks said:


> Good! I think I'm starting to get better, I been feeling pretty good the last few days so hopefully it lasts haha. Thanks for asking, I appreciate it.


Yay! :yay I'm happy to hear that! I hope it lasts too


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I had a self-harm relapse in the shower earlier today, felt okay-ish during the day, somewhat happy when visiting Nona and having dinner with Mother, and now back to my lonely miserable self.

Hug me please.

:frown2:


----------



## Crisigv

Sick


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Flora20 said:


> Really stressed out and lonely...





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I had a self-harm relapse in the shower earlier today, felt okay-ish during the day, somewhat happy when visiting Nona and having dinner with Mother, and now back to my lonely miserable self.
> 
> Hug me please.
> 
> :frown2:


Something to distract you both from bad thoughts for a little while and laugh at -


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Sick


:sigh :hug


----------



## animeflower6084

Truthfully feeling down or what I like to say blah lol.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> Something to distract you both from bad thoughts for a little while and laugh at -


Thanks.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Sick


:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Thanks.


You're welcome.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

animeflower6084 said:


> Truthfully feeling down or what I like to say blah lol.


:hug


----------



## animeflower6084

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug


Thanks to tell you the truth made me smile a bit lol.


----------



## Vip3r

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Sorry you're feeling this way.  Things will turn around.


Thanks :squeeze You are right, things will turn around. 



Ekardy said:


> You're not unliked! :squeeze
> 
> Don't think that way! :bat
> 
> :hug I'm sorry you feel this way.


Ok, I will try not to think that way. :hide :b

Thanks :squeeze


----------



## 3stacks

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I had a self-harm relapse in the shower earlier today, felt okay-ish during the day, somewhat happy when visiting Nona and having dinner with Mother, and now back to my lonely miserable self.
> 
> Hug me please.
> 
> :frown2:


Sorry to hear, hope you can feel a little better soon


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

This -


----------



## BeamingNow

Inexplicably happy and content.


----------



## Ekardy

BeamingNow said:


> Inexplicably happy and content.


This is good! :yay


----------



## Ekardy

ANX1 said:


> This -


I love this song.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pretty ****ing hopeless.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> I love this song.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Invisible, and that's a good thing.



3stacks said:


> Sorry to hear, hope you can feel a little better soon


Thanks I guess. 



BeamingNow said:


> Inexplicably happy and content.


Sweet! :grin2:



twytarn said:


> Pretty ****ing hopeless.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## JerryAndSports

Freaking terrible.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm scared


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Gettin' tipsy from the beer I am drinking. Woohoo! :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I'm scared


 :hug


----------



## 0589471

Very very happy


----------



## tea111red

No feeling of belonging.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

This -


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> No feeling of belonging.


:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Loving this cute little thing -


----------



## Ekardy

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Very very happy


:squeeze
:yay


----------



## Kevin001

Tired


----------



## tea111red

It's hard to imagine a better life at this point.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tea111red said:


> It's hard to imagine a better life at this point.


:squeeze:hug


----------



## Crisigv

Sick and alone


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A little stressed. :/ But I'll snap out of it.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I'm Ok.
I didn't have a good week at all. 
Today was better compared to the other days but even so the hurt feeling still linger. The sad thing is this is the 2nd year during one week before my Birthday that something was distress-ful to me. I guaranteed next year will be year #3. Things happen in 3's.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Dejected and lonely. My eyes are too dry to cry, but my heart hurts, if you know what I mean.


----------



## Ckg2011

Meh. You know. :stu :lol:lol


----------



## scintilla

.


----------



## CNikki

scintilla said:


> I miss _____, a lot. A lot. I hope they are okay. I hope they are well. I wish things weren't like this. I wish...
> I wish...


Story of my life.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> A little stressed. :/ But I'll snap out of it.


Awww. :hug



Black As Day said:


> I'm Ok.
> I didn't have a good week at all.
> Today was better compared to the other days but even so the hurt feeling still linger. The sad thing is this is the 2nd year during one week before my Birthday that something was distress-ful to me. I guaranteed next year will be year #3. Things happen in 3's.


Hope next week is better. 



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Dejected and lonely. My eyes are too dry to cry, but my heart hurts, if you know what I mean.


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely. But that has always been the case for me. :stu


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

We're all stuck in the same boat. The TiSAnic we should called this doomed vessel. 

It's been over a year since I saw her and I'm a completely lost soul. This is just a living death that goes on and on and on. 

How on earth can I escape the pain?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

ANX1 said:


> Tired, lonely. But that has always been the case for me. :stu


The constant nagging, gnawing pain of long term loneliness is brutal. :frown2: I wish we could all find someone mate.


----------



## harrison

Feeling a bit strange - had a migraine early this morning and had a tablet for it, but now feel a bit manic and spaced out. I wonder if there's any connection between migraine and mania. I should get my wife to do a search on it on one of her databases.


----------



## harrison

@Pete Beale - good to see you back, I hope you're alright.

@ANX1 - sorry to hear mate.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

harrison said:


> @Pete Beale - good to see you back, I hope you're alright.
> 
> @ANX1 - sorry to hear mate.


Thanks mate. Wish I was alright and not back tbh. lol

I've read about people with some mental health issues getting migraines or strange pressure sensations in their brains before they have episodes.


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> Thanks mate. *Wish I was alright and not back tbh. lol
> *
> I've read about people with some mental health issues getting migraines or strange pressure sensations in their brains before they have episodes.


Yes I know what you mean mate - sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. It must be very lonely.

Have you heard that? I really need to learn more about all this - I think it's getting worse as I get older.


----------



## Fun Spirit

@ANX1 Thanks: )


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Feeling a bit strange - had a migraine early this morning and had a tablet for it, but now feel a bit manic and spaced out. I wonder if there's any connection between migraine and mania. I should get my wife to do a search on it on one of her databases.


Sorry to hear mate. 



harrison said:


> @*Pete Beale* - good to see you back, I hope you're alright.
> 
> @*ANX1* - sorry to hear mate.


Thank you for your kind words mate. 



Black As Day said:


> @*ANX1* Thanks: )


You're welcome.


----------



## tea111red

I feel like maybe I should've just bought junk food instead of healthier food and let myself blow up to 1000 lbs.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> The constant nagging, gnawing pain of long term loneliness is brutal. :frown2: I wish we could all find someone mate.


Same, wish everyone could find someone.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> I feel like maybe I should've just bought junk food instead of healthier food and let myself blow up to 1000 lbs.


But you are petite, so easy to carry over the threshold by hunky guy of your dreams, yes?  :grin2:


----------



## tea111red

ANX1 said:


> But you are petite, so easy to carry over the threshold by hunky guy of your dreams, yes?  :grin2:


I'll probably be 1000 lbs by the time I meet him....


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired/bored

Sent from my Sky 6.0Q using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> I'll probably be 1000 lbs by the time I meet him....


Nah, probably be the same petite person.  



Canadian Brotha said:


> Tired/bored
> 
> Sent from my Sky 6.0Q using Tapatalk


I hope you feel better after some sleep mate.


----------



## Taaylah

Sad and stuck


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@ANX1 I'm feeling better.  But also hungry. :/


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @*ANX1* I'm feeling better.  But also hungry. :/


Good to hear that you are feeling better. 

Awww. :hug Hope you find something nice to eat.


----------



## Ekardy

Angry and disappointed


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Angry and disappointed


Awww! What happened? :hug :squeeze


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Awww! What happened? :hug :squeeze


:squeeze Just life. Dealing with people on a personal level....not my forte apparently.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> :squeeze Just life. Dealing with people on a personal level....not my forte apparently.


:squeeze Don't feel too bad, we are only human after all.


----------



## 0589471

Like I have the bestest friend/fellow mermaid ♡ @Ekardy


----------



## Ekardy

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Like I have the bestest friend/fellow mermaid ♡ @Ekardy


YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
:heart :heart :heart :squeeze :yay

Best mermaid friends!!


----------



## kesker

Like I'm infallible and unbreakable and in denial. 10 years of sleeping no more then three hours in a given night. I feel god-like in a bang my head kind of way. The word I'm looking for is tapistulous which is one I made up and, therefore, defined one way tonight and another tomorrow. "Looking good Billy Ray."...."Feeling good Louis."


----------



## LostinReverie

Soooo fu***** tired. Ugh.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Like I have the bestest friend/fellow mermaid ♡ @*Ekardy*


Something about this picture is turning me on... :lol :teeth


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

LostinReverie said:


> Soooo fu***** tired. Ugh.


Aww. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Something about this picture is turning me on... :lol :teeth


Candice in a black dress mate and she knows how to walk the runway -






Her man is one lucky guy.


----------



## Vip3r

Tired, but I can't sleep. Stupid time change.


----------



## Crisigv

Awful. I haven't had a good day in so long. I remember I used to here and there.


----------



## PandaBearx

Sad I suppose


----------



## EarthDominator

Having constant panic attacks, and I got no idea where they are coming from. :/


----------



## C137

Melancholic & Bitterly sad


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Awful. I haven't had a good day in so long. I remember I used to here and there.


Awww. :hug



PandaBearx said:


> Sad I suppose


:sigh :hug



EarthDominator said:


> Having constant panic attacks, and I got no idea where they are coming from. :/


Probably triggered by things that remind you of trauma you have been through in your life. A way around that is training your brain to feel love instead of reliving that trauma's emotions mentally. It is like ptsd.

To do that you close eyes and visualize the emotions you felt at time of trauma exiting your head in a long stream (venting it mentally), one at a time. Like think fear, it exiting the top of head in ä long stream, etc. Then think of mentally cuddling yourself (love). Hopefully you should feel better instantly. Or feel better with doing it so many amount of times.

It is like a balance of doing it enough to feel better, but not too much that you feel happy when should fear something to keep yourself genuinely safe.


----------



## EarthDominator

ANX1 said:


> Probably triggered by things that remind you of trauma you have been through in your life. A way around that is training your brain to feel love instead of reliving that trauma's emotions mentally. It is like ptsd.
> 
> To do that you close eyes and visualize the emotions you felt at time of trauma exiting your head in a long stream (venting it mentally), one at a time. Like think fear, it exiting the top of head in ä long stream, etc. Then think of mentally cuddling yourself (love). Hopefully you should feel better instantly. Or feel better with doing it so many amount of times.
> 
> It is like a balance of doing it enough to feel better, but not too much that you feel happy when should fear something to keep yourself genuinely safe.


Well, I'm soon going to move out, or at least try to with my horrible mother controlling every single aspect of my life. And this will also be the very first time in my whole life, that I'll be standing up against her.

That doesn't really work for me, I got 0 self love. Though thanks for the advice with those eyes, might give it a shot.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

EarthDominator said:


> Well, I'm soon going to move out, or at least try to with my horrible mother controlling every single aspect of my life. And this will also be the very first time in my whole life, that I'll be standing up against her.
> 
> That doesn't really work for me, I got 0 self love. Though thanks for the advice with those eyes, might give it a shot.


Oh, ok. You're welcome mate.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

harrison said:


> Yes I know what you mean mate - sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. It must be very lonely.
> 
> Have you heard that? I really need to learn more about all this - I think it's getting worse as I get older.


I noticed people with BPD complaining about migraines and some saying they get strange sensations in the area of the amygdala before they have a rage episode. I don't know about bipolar though.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Psychopathic levels of boredom with a nice dose of collapsed narcissistic agitation and emptiness. Something like that anyway.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Something about this picture is turning me on... :lol :teeth


One on the left's a cluster B man eater listening to some of her lyrics. :afr


----------



## Citrine79

I am worried and anxious pretty much 24-7...today it is much worse for lots of reasons.


----------



## 0589471

Tired, congested and achey. Cold medicine put me out a bit. Hoping this passes quickly


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I really wish I could enjoy male company. There's so many SA males I could easily make friends with, but it's just not want I want.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Melancholic.

VERY melancholic.



Pete Beale said:


> I really wish I could enjoy male company. There's so many SA males I could easily make friends with, but it's just not want I want.


I can definitely see where you are coming from my friend.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Melancholic.
> 
> VERY melancholic.
> 
> I can definitely see where you are coming from my friend.


It's easy for me to get something going with males. I could setup all sorts of activities, but it's too hard doing this with females. It's so frustrating.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> It's easy for me to get something going with males. I could setup all sorts of activities, but it's too hard doing this with females. It's so frustrating.


I can relate to this more than most people realize.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> It's easy for me to get something going with males. I could setup all sorts of activities, but it's too hard doing this with females. It's so frustrating.


Sometimes there is a good reason behind their behaviour.

Usually I find it the opposite in real life. I just followed their lead, as they setup place, time, etc. Women are natural born leaders (mothers, etc).


----------



## Ckg2011

My second toe on my left foot is killing me, screwed up at the skatepark today and now it's hurting for real. I seriously get hurt in the most messed up ways.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Tired and frustrated. I shouldn't have picked such a huge and busy store to work at, but I didn't want to keep sitting at home all day and being the only one in my family without a job. It didn't help that none of the other places I'd previously applied to called me back.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A weird combination of lonely and horny. No joke. :lol



Cherrycarmine said:


> Tired and frustrated. I shouldn't have picked such a huge and busy store to work at, but I didn't want to keep sitting at home all day and being the only one in my family without a job. It didn't help that none of the other places I'd previously applied to called me back.


I can relate to this. :hug:squeeze


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Alone, lonely. Have no idea what to do at all to relieve the pain. It feels like I've woken up in middle age, from a long coma. That I've been released from a long term prison sentence and have no idea how to adjust. 

I've got a meet the weekend and I don't know why I'm bothering. It's a short break from reality and then I'm back to square one. I feel like I'm schizoid around everyone else but her. I felt so damn normal and loved her company. Why does life have to be so damn cruel and give me this person I loved and then take her away? Wish I would just go in my sleep because I see no way out of this.


----------



## fluorish

I like venting my inner dark thoughts on this site so here goes.

Sad, Alone, disconnected, zero self esteem. 
I want to feel the opposite of those.


----------



## Joz

a little frustrated and anxious


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

No outlet for the agitation and frustration. No one will ever care.


----------



## Ekardy

Frustrated :bash

Feel like I’m reverting back to needing to be something that I’m not and hiding my real feelings to accommodate others.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Lethargic. That's a decent word. Top 5 word for me.


----------



## SASer213504

Sad


----------



## Eternal Solitude

Sick 🤒 

However, I derive pleasure if not comfort when I am sick. It’s as if my emotional problems don’t matter any more; my hysterical anxiety is not there , and if the triggering factors are there they do not affect me. I no longer want anything nor do I feel deprived from things which I no longer had. There’s no future and no past and the present is nothingness.

I’m nothing and what a bliss it is to escape from negative emotions .


----------



## Fun Spirit

(^ n ^)
I'm too scared to click on a voice recording response: ( : ( : (
It would....be....a...while.


----------



## Vip3r

Feeling lazy today.


----------



## 0589471

More personal stress


----------



## Chris S W

I feel like a ghost with unfinished business.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Frustrated. Depressed.


----------



## andy1984

exhausted. literally exhausted. nothing left.


----------



## Crisigv

Very depressed and lonely


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Very depressed and lonely


Sorry to hear. :hug


----------



## Flora20

Miserable..


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Flora20 said:


> Miserable..


:sigh :hug


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Hopeless. Don't want to be here without her.


----------



## cosmicKitten

lonely and gloomy


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Unwanted.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

cosmicKitten said:


> lonely and gloomy


:hug


twytarn said:


> Unwanted.


It's the worst feeling! :hug


----------



## Zatch

Giddy. Finally overcame one of my bigger anxieties and earned a huge W.

Rollercoaster of a day so far, now it's back to the drawing board with new vigor.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Kind of sad and gloomy today. 



Pete Beale said:


> Hopeless. Don't want to be here without her.





andy1984 said:


> exhausted. literally exhausted. nothing left.





cosmicKitten said:


> lonely and gloomy





twytarn said:


> Unwanted.





Flora20 said:


> Miserable..





Crisigv said:


> Very depressed and lonely


I hope all of you guys feel better soon! :group


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Like I'm a loser and that I'll never have anyone.


----------



## andy1984

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Like I'm a loser and that I'll never have anyone.


ditto


----------



## Kevin001

Amazing


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Like I'm a loser and that I'll never have anyone.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## BeautyandRage

****ty. Constantly being straight up told I am a terrible person and I don’t do anything.


----------



## Girlinterrupted333

Trapped in a whirlwind of reoccurring themes.


----------



## 3stacks

Lonely, bored etc


----------



## TheGirlWithRats

Manic.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Kind of sad and gloomy today.
> 
> I hope all of you guys feel better soon! :group


:rub


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> Lonely, bored etc


I'm going to a meet saturday. Let me know if you want to come. I'm actually too SA to attempt to drunkenly crisp packet bum you in real life, so don't be scared, homie. :b


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> I'm going to a meet saturday. Let me know if you want to come. I'm actually too SA to attempt to drunkenly crisp packet bum you in real life, so don't be scared, homie. :b


I'm too awkward for anything like that just yet haha especially being bummed in a public space lol


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> I'm too awkward for anything like that just yet haha especially being bummed in a public space lol


You get desperate enough, you know where I am. :b


----------



## mrunorthodox1

*idk*

I feel tired stressed and confused


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> You get desperate enough, you know where I am. :b


I just seen your wife Sheridan on TV


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


 Thanks. 
@andy1984  Sorry.


----------



## Ckg2011

Like I could go jump off a bridge.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling down again. I'll never feel better. I guess it's why no one likes me.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Okay. Just okay.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks.


No problem. 



Ckg2011 said:


> Like I could go jump off a bridge.


Don't do that.  :rub



Crisigv said:


> Feeling down again. I'll never feel better. I guess it's why no one likes me.


We like you here!  :hug :squeeze


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Tired of feel so beaten down. Tired of not being able to fix so much that is wrong.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Feeling down again. I'll never feel better. I guess it's why no one likes me.


:sigh :hug


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> I just seen your wife Sheridan on TV


I'd be happy if I was her house hubby lol.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely, stressed out with life issues.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

ANX1 said:


> Tired, lonely, stressed out with life issues.


:frown2: :rub

I wish there was something real I could do to help every troubled soul here! :frown2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> :frown2: :rub
> 
> I wish there was something real I could do to help every troubled soul here! :frown2:


Thanks mate. Your kindness is much appreciated.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Very angry.


----------



## 3stacks

With my hands


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Stuffy and blah. I should go eat something.



3stacks said:


> With my hands


Lol no ****


----------



## 3stacks

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Stuffy and blah. I should go eat something.
> 
> 
> 
> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> With my hands
> 
> 
> 
> Lol no ****
Click to expand...

 ok, I won't feel my ****


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

3stacks said:


> ok, I won't feel my ****


you're funny


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am feeling okay, having a beer while I listen to Youtube videos and play a video game.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored. Lonely.


----------



## komorikun

Apartment is cold as ****. But I don't want a $300 electric bill. All the windows and the sliding glass door need to be replaced. Sooooooo much condensation. I find puddles in the window sills in the morning. Landlord is way too cheap to fix anything unless it's completely broken and unusable. He's such a stingy *******. Engineer at some famous corporation. I ain't putting any money into it since I don't own the place.


----------



## Ckg2011

Like I am 110 years old and got into a fight with a pissed off freight train and lost. Also like I want to end it all, I suck as a person and nobody cares about me. :bash:bash


----------



## Fun Spirit

tea1~ said:


> i feel a little humiliated that i couldn't edit or delete my post if i wanted to. it's not nice





tea1~ said:


> i feel a little humiliated that i couldn't edit or delete my post if i wanted to. it's not nice


I believe since you are new you need X Amount of posts before you are able to edit and delete. Otherwise you should be able to do it.

Try not to feel bad: )
View attachment 115051


EDIT: Aw man. I been jinx. 
I accidentally quoted you twice and my picture is slightly blur. 
I will leave it the way it is. LOL. 
Now we both humiliated: D


----------



## lily

Black As Day said:


> I believe since you are new you need X Amount of posts before you are able to edit and delete. Otherwise you should be able to do it.
> 
> Try not to feel bad: )
> View attachment 115051
> 
> 
> EDIT: Aw man. I been jinx.
> I accidentally quoted you twice and my picture is slightly blur.
> I will leave it the way it is. LOL.
> Now we both humiliated: D


lol, ok thanks for letting me know :smile2:


----------



## Memories of Silence

tea1~ said:


> i feel a little humiliated that i couldn't edit or delete my post if i wanted to. it's not nice


If you want any posts edited or deleted, you can ask me or another mod for now.


----------



## Kevin001

Cold...36 here


----------



## copper

Right hip is bothering me this morning and it didn't help it snow blowing for 35 minutes.


----------



## iminnocentenough

I'm bored and lonely.
Everyday feels like a repeat of the last.
I crave love and affection like addicts crave drugs.
All I want is to have someone to share my time with.
The worst part is that none of this will happen.
I'm a nice guy, so maybe that's why.
I play too much video games and read too many books.
I write too much and talk to little.
Happiness is what I try to give others at the expense of myself.
Everything is hopeless I guess.


----------



## 0589471




----------



## Crisigv

Very down, as usual.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Very down, as usual.


Awww. :hug


----------



## scooby

Exhausted. I don't get enough sleep. If I try to sleep, I dream of people/situations that depress me, and it wakes me up within an hour.


----------



## harrison

Pretty good - think I'll make a massaman curry with chicken for a change.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Old, tired, lonely.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I purchased a mixed reality headset, and have been having a blast goofing around with it. I managed to figure out how to play almost any game with it, and spent the last hour walking around virtual cities in second life - it was pretty cool. I also played a bit of Guildwars 2, on a huge screen. Appropriately, I had the Matrix playing in another window in the background :lol










While it is cool, it is hard as heck to read text, I'm going to have to try to fiddle with it later but I think I have it as good as it gets. This opens a whole new world to me, I look forward to tinkering around with this thing for a while.


----------



## komorikun

Exhausted and my feet hurt from being frozen for so long. I was cooking 4-5 hours. Made Japanese curry, roasted Brussels sprouts, and barley/lentils/feta cheese concoction. Washed the rice which is going start cooking in the rice cooker soon. All for next week, not tonight.

The exhaust fan in my kitchen just blows air into the kitchen. There is no vent to the outside, so I like to open all the windows when I make something strong smelling. Which is okay if it's warm and not 45 degrees outside. My body was okay since the oven creates heat and I have a fleece jacket on but my poor tootsies. All purple and frozen.

At least I won't have to cook tomorrow.


----------



## harrison

komorikun said:


> Exhausted and my feet hurt from being frozen for so long. I was cooking 4-5 hours. *Made Japanese curry, roasted Brussels sprouts, and barley/lentils/feta cheese concoction. Washed the rice which is going start cooking in the rice cooker soon. *All for next week, not tonight.
> 
> The exhaust fan in my kitchen just blows air into the kitchen. There is no vent to the outside, so I like to open all the windows when I make something strong smelling. Which is okay if it's warm and not 45 degrees outside. My body was okay since the oven creates heat and I have a fleece jacket on but my poor tootsies. All purple and frozen.
> 
> At least I won't have to cook tomorrow.


Very nice. My wife used to roast brussel sprouts - not something I would ever have thought to do. Very yummo.

That's a lot of cooking though.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Old, tired, lonely.


Definitely not old mate. Sorry about the other bits though


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Definitely not old mate. Sorry about the other bits though


Thank you for kind words mate. They are much appreciated and made my day better.


----------



## Vip3r

Worried and tired


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Frustrated and disappointed.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry. Time to eat.



Vip3r said:


> Worried and tired


 :rub



Pete Beale said:


> Frustrated and disappointed.


 :rub


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Hungry. Time to eat.
> 
> :rub
> 
> :rub


Thanks mate. :squeeze


----------



## Ekardy

Cold....so cold....I love it! :heart


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> Thanks mate. :squeeze


No problem! 



Ekardy said:


> Cold....so cold....I love it! :heart


Teehee!


----------



## Vip3r

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub


Thanks


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Tired of having no one to talk to, no one to do anything with. Tired of feeling ****ing lost. I can't adjust to this ****. 

There's someone from the meetup group I want to message but she's too SA to do anything and I'm the complete opposite. In a perfect world I'd message her right now and meet her for a day out around the city within the hour, but it's like trying to get blood out of a stone with most folks.


----------



## Kevin001

Freezing 36 right now.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Vip3r said:


> Thanks


 No problem!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not too bad right now. Although, I skinned my knuckles at work today and it started bleeding a little. Haha.


----------



## 3stacks

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Not too bad right now. Although, I skinned my knuckles at work today and it started bleeding a little. Haha.


 &#128558; you been bare knuckle boxing in the car park? Haha


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

3stacks said:


> &#128558; you been bare knuckle boxing in the car park? Haha


Lol No. :laugh:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol No. :laugh:


Cage Fighting, Muay Thai? :b


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Pete Beale said:


> Cage Fighting, Muay Thai? :b


Haha, it was just from picking boxes up at work. xD Rather uninteresting. :b


----------



## MCHB

My best friend passed away this morning...he was fine 3 days ago but last night he was taken into the hospital due to an "Aortic Dissection." I'm both shocked, saddened and at a total loss.


----------



## Yer Blues

MCHB said:


> My best friend passed away this morning...he was fine 3 days ago but last night he was taken into the hospital due to an "Aortic Dissection." I'm both shocked, saddened and at a total loss.


Sorry to hear that. 

The usual. :/


----------



## sad1231234

I feel like everything is pointless, bored, lonely, depressed, frustrated to no end, sick, tired, hopeless about future. Sad about my wasted life. I feel lost, like i've always been lost but only recently realized.


----------



## sad1231234

Pete Beale said:


> Tired of having no one to talk to, no one to do anything with. Tired of feeling ****ing lost. I can't adjust to this ****.
> 
> There's someone from the meetup group I want to message but she's too SA to do anything and I'm the complete opposite. In a perfect world I'd message her right now and meet her for a day out around the city within the hour, but it's like trying to get blood out of a stone with most folks.


You might as well give it a try? I dunno


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

sad1231234 said:


> You might as well give it a try? I dunno


I will try and talk to her in person again soon. It's hard when you don't feel on the same level as a person. People are either too shy or too outgoing, or there's something else wrong. Sigh


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Haha, it was just from picking boxes up at work. xD Rather uninteresting. :b


You're a black belt in Box Jitsu ain't ya? :b


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

sad1231234 said:


> I feel like everything is pointless, bored, lonely, depressed, frustrated to no end, sick, tired, hopeless about future. Sad about my wasted life. I feel lost, like i've always been lost but only recently realized.


You have to write your book much better than I wrote mine. I'm old enough to be your father and still feel everything you wrote in your post. It's so ****ing hard being this old and being like this. You haven't wasted your life yet. It's barely begun.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Pete Beale said:


> You're a black belt in Box Jitsu ain't ya? :b


I wish.


----------



## Crisigv

Just meh. I hope the anxiety stays away when I manage to go to Walmart later on.


----------



## CNikki

Contemplative.


----------



## 3stacks

Sick


----------



## caelle

Tired. I'm finally off work for a couple days and I don't want to do anything but I have so much to do...


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Tired of missing her and the person I was when I was with her during the good times. I'm a ****ing shell, empty as ****.


----------



## PandaBearx

Like I'm tired, tired of your shi*. 

I also feel sleep deprived and physically and mentally run down.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> Just meh. I hope the anxiety stays away when I manage to go to Walmart later on.


I could spend all day shopping at Walmart on Black Friday and Christmas eve, and not feel any anxiety whatsoever, but I couldn't hold down a job like you. This anxiety **** makes no sense. It affects us all in different ways. :/


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> I could spend all day shopping at Walmart on Black Friday and Christmas eve, and not feel any anxiety whatsoever, but I couldn't hold down a job like you. This anxiety **** makes no sense. It affects us all in different ways. :/


Do you ever go to that huge Asda in minworth (probably way too far for you) that one gets so packed sometimes


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> Sick


Just wondering if you'd ever been to the christmas market? I ain't gonna pester ya to go, just wondering?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> Do you ever go to that huge Asda in minworth (probably way too far for you) that one gets so packed sometimes


No mate I've never been up that way. Nothings worse than New Streets Primark close to christmas. Absolute nightmare bumping into so many women you can't shag!  :b lol


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> Just wondering if you'd ever been to the christmas market? I ain't gonna pester ya to go, just wondering?


I've only ever been past it. Never actually went through it, always wanted to though. I love seeing all the Christmas lights lol



Pete Beale said:


> No mate I've never been up that way. Nothings worse than New Streets Primark close to christmas. Absolute nightmare bumping into so many women you can't shag!  :b lol


Lmao it's one of the worst feelings


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> I've only ever been past it. Never actually went through it, always wanted to though. I love seeing all the Christmas lights lol
> 
> Lmao it's one of the worst feelings


lol

Let me know if you ever want to do it. We'll avoid damn Primark though! :b


----------



## Crisigv

Pete Beale said:


> I could spend all day shopping at Walmart on Black Friday and Christmas eve, and not feel any anxiety whatsoever, but I couldn't hold down a job like you. This anxiety **** makes no sense. It affects us all in different ways. :/


It's funny, it has to be either very dead or very busy. I have no problem pushing through people, because I know no else gives a damn about you. You think I can apply that thinking to other aspects of my life, though? I still get lots of anxiety at work too, especially when my store gets busy and no one needs my help.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Discontent.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> It's funny, it has to be either very dead or very busy. I have no problem pushing through people, because I know no else gives a damn about you. You think I can apply that thinking to other aspects of my life, though? I still get lots of anxiety at work too, especially when my store gets busy and no one needs my help.


When it's dead there's no one to look at you, and when it's busy you get lost in a sea of people focused on getting their **** done and nothing else. Supermarkets don't bother me anymore at all now. I think it's the commitment, knowing I have to be their, that people rely on me and I basically can't escape that bothers me when it comes to work. As well as doing the same **** over and over again. I look at so many people doing all sorts of jobs and tell myself I can actually do that, it's easy, but then I tell myself, I can't do that **** day in, day out, over and over again for the rest of my bloody life though. I need to be given the opportunity to do something as well, which just ain't gonna happen because I've been out too long, I'm too old, and they've got young uni students who'll work theirs arses off. Sigh

Anyway, how is Sofaking? He hasn't been around for a while. I hope he's alright even though I appeared to have pissed him off last time I spoke to him. lol


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> lol
> 
> Let me know if you ever want to do it. We'll avoid damn Primark though! :b


Yeah avoid Primark cause people will be thinking that about me of course (I wish) haha


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> Yeah avoid Primark cause people will be thinking that about me of course (I wish) haha


lol

Would be nice to bump into a group of girls who'd decided to do a bit of underwear shopping after a few german beers and mulled wines, then be dragged into the changing rooms. One hell of a bloody christmas miracle that would be. :b


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> lol
> 
> Would be nice to bump into a group of girls who'd decided to do a bit of underwear shopping after a few german beers and mulled wines, then be dragged into the changing rooms. One hell of a bloody christmas miracle that would be. :b


Lmao they would probably have to arrest santa if he bought us that


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> Lmao they would probably have to arrest santa if he bought us that


lol


----------



## anonymoususer2

forgotten, unappreciated, unloved by others.


----------



## Crisigv

Pete Beale said:


> When it's dead there's no one to look at you, and when it's busy you get lost in a sea of people focused on getting their **** done and nothing else. Supermarkets don't bother me anymore at all now. I think it's the commitment, knowing I have to be their, that people rely on me and I basically can't escape that bothers me when it comes to work. As well as doing the same **** over and over again. I look at so many people doing all sorts of jobs and tell myself I can actually do that, it's easy, but then I tell myself, I can't do that **** day in, day out, over and over again for the rest of my bloody life though. I need to be given the opportunity to do something as well, which just ain't gonna happen because I've been out too long, I'm too old, and they've got young uni students who'll work theirs arses off. Sigh
> 
> Anyway, how is Sofaking? He hasn't been around for a while. I hope he's alright even though I appeared to have pissed him off last time I spoke to him. lol


Yeah, you make a good point. I agree with the job perspective. It can be very monotonous doing the same thing every day. Hell knows I'm extremely bored with my job. And it's very stressful to be relied on, especially if you're management. Nobody knows how much work it is to be a boss until you're in the position yourself. But it's a full time job and I have no other experience. SofaKing is alright. Same as always I guess, trying to get through the days like the rest of us.


----------



## sad1231234

Pete Beale said:


> I will try and talk to her in person again soon. It's hard when you don't feel on the same level as a person. People are either too shy or too outgoing, or there's something else wrong. Sigh


Well it is possible to sort of coax shy people out of their shells. Especially if you like give them time and stuff. Shy people dont mean to avoid others, it is just that they are terrified of social interaction. Often to the point of ignoring people or staying at home all day.



Pete Beale said:


> You have to write your book much better than I wrote mine. I'm old enough to be your father and still feel everything you wrote in your post. It's so ****ing hard being this old and being like this. You haven't wasted your life yet. It's barely begun.


Sorry to hear that. But there's always hope. There's always many years, even many decades ahead where so much can happen. You just need to find your bearings so to speak or even learn to do without them. Dunno if that will help or not. Thanks for the advice, but i've completely missed out on being a child or a teenager. I didnt get to go to school and grow up around humans. All my life i've been stuck in a house living under severely strict parents. Things like that dont just go away, its like a huge sinkhole taking up the most vital 20 years of my life lol. I've never known a day without mental illnesses, i've never known friendship, i'll never even know what its like to go to high school or elementary school or kindergarten. Might sound silly to others but when everyone grew up around each other from the time they were babies, and all your life was spent inside 4 walls, it is ****ing painful.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Tired. I think I'll just take a nap or just go ahead and go to sleep for the rest of the night.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Tired. I think I'll just take a nap or just go ahead and go to sleep for the rest of the night.


Wish you a good nights sleep.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Had an okay day. Did some errands with mother earlier today and plan on going to a little festival in town with her tomorrow.

Feeling anxious and lonely again now though, if anyone here cares...


----------



## Zatch

Distant but dutiful. I'm not doubt still a cold jerk as it stands but I'm grateful for what little I have going currently. I would still like to work more.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Had an okay day. Did some errands with mother earlier today and plan on going to a little festival in town with her tomorrow.
> 
> Feeling anxious and lonely again now though, if anyone here cares...


Aww, mate. 

Maybe you'll feel better after some sleep.?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> Aww, mate.
> 
> Maybe you'll feel better after some sleep.?


Probably. Thanks for replying. :high5


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Probably. Thanks for replying. :high5


You're welcome mate.


----------



## harrison

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Had an okay day. Did some errands *with mother* earlier today and plan on going to a little festival in town with her tomorrow.
> 
> Feeling anxious and lonely again now though, if anyone here cares...


I like the way you call your Mum "Mother" - it's nice mate.

And we do care about you on here.

(I also have more massaman curry here waiting for you btw - just made a bit more)


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Supposedly have to follow that dream -






Thanks Elvis mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

:crying:


----------



## Deaf Mute

Like ****, I ****ing hate myself so much lol. 

Nothing can save me now...


----------



## Mondo_Fernando




----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

harrison said:


> I like the way you call your Mum "Mother" - it's nice mate.
> 
> And we do care about you on here.
> 
> (I also have more massaman curry here waiting for you btw - just made a bit more)


Thanks mate. 

And yeah save me some curry, I like it hot and spicy. :lol


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

ANX1 said:


> Wish you a good nights sleep.


Thanks.  I slept good. And I get tomorrow and Saturday off.


----------



## CNikki

At this point I couldn't give a damn.


----------



## funnynihilist

37 degrees and heavy rain....mmmmm...doesn't it make you feel good?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks.  I slept good. And I get tomorrow and Saturday off.


You're welcome. 

Good to hear that you slept good. 

Well deserved rest.


----------



## 0589471

horrible.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> horrible.




Here is a hug and a squeeze for you hun: :hug :squeeze


----------



## andy1984

not good. paralysed by avoidance. my life could get a little worse, but not much. need to solve impending crisis but there isn't any point. i'll always be abused by people wherever i go.


----------



## 0589471

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Here is a hug and a squeeze for you hun: :hug :squeeze


Lol thanks. I'm being dramatic about my cold. I just want to be in my warm bed and start over tomorrow


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

ANX1 said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> Good to hear that you slept good.
> 
> Well deserved rest.


Thanks.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks.


You're welcome.


----------



## twistix

Lonely & stressed


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

twistix said:


> Lonely & stressed


Awww. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

twistix said:


> Lonely & stressed


Aw don't be a sad tater! :lol :hug


----------



## 3stacks

Confused, I really thought it was Tuesday today but it's Friday already


----------



## Suchness

3stacks said:


> Confused, I really thought it was Tuesday today but it's Friday already


Time to party!


----------



## 3stacks

Suchness said:


> Time to party!


Time to do all the drugs


----------



## Suchness

3stacks said:


> Time to do all the drugs


Rebecca won't hang out unless you've got coke and pills.


----------



## 3stacks

Suchness said:


> Rebecca won't hang out unless you've got coke and pills.


I hope my leftover antidepressants will satisfy her


----------



## Suchness

3stacks said:


> I hope my leftover antidepressants will satisfy her


She'll pop em like it's candy.


----------



## caelle

Nervous about taking my furbaby to the fur doctor (the vet). I always get nervous for these appointments. Like bad anxiety type of nervousness. She's my baby and I worry for her. And it's not a checkup appointment. I think she has a bladder infection. Hoping it's not too serious.
I usually have my mom take her because I get so nervous but it's time to grow up. I guess


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Very depressed. Anxious. Claustrophobic.


----------



## Taaylah

Ugly, worthless. The usual.


----------



## Vip3r

caelle said:


> Nervous about taking my furbaby to the fur doctor (the vet). I always get nervous for these appointments. Like bad anxiety type of nervousness. She's my baby and I worry for her. And it's not a checkup appointment. I think she has a bladder infection. Hoping it's not too serious.
> I usually have my mom take her because I get so nervous but it's time to grow up. I guess


I always get extremely nervous taking my dog to the vet. I hope it all goes well for you and your furbaby.


----------



## 0589471

caelle said:


> Nervous about taking my furbaby to the fur doctor (the vet). I always get nervous for these appointments. Like bad anxiety type of nervousness. She's my baby and I worry for her. And it's not a checkup appointment. I think she has a bladder infection. Hoping it's not too serious.
> I usually have my mom take her because I get so nervous but it's time to grow up. I guess


Aww I hope for the best! That always makes me nervous too, I was just there for a long time with one of mine. Unfortunately he was really sick and it was hard being there alone. It will be all right though, hopefully the staff is great and that some antibiotics help your fur baby feel better


----------



## Ekardy

Confused.


----------



## Ekardy

BleedingHearts said:


> :hug
> 
> Frustrated with these load times


:squeeze 
Thank you


----------



## scintilla

.


----------



## SparklingWater

Overwhelmed. I've never met the middle of the road. I'm either doing way too much/way too focused on recovery or depressed in the house laying in bed doing nothing. Give me balance. Give me peace.


----------



## hypestyle

right now, just okay. decent enough. Not great, not the worst. Most days, it's like that.


----------



## Ckg2011

I want to go sit down on railroad tracks and just wait. :bash


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad, lonely, bored, and frustrated with life.


----------



## zonebox

My knees are cold, and my ears feel hot, what's up with that?


----------



## harrison

Not sure - still trying to wake up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Not sure - still trying to wake up.


Good morning.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Good morning.


Morning mate.  Hope you're having a good weekend.

I'd better get a lot more coffee, pretty sleep today.


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> My knees are cold, and my ears feel hot, what's up with that?


Does it get cold there in Florida mate?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Morning mate.  Hope you're having a good weekend.
> 
> I'd better get a lot more coffee, pretty sleep today.


So far mate. 

I need more sleep too.

A try to wake up song -






:stu :grin2:


----------



## zonebox

harrison said:


> Does it get cold there in Florida mate?


It was in the 40s earlier, so it gets a bit chilly. Nothing like the north gets, just enough to confuse my body :lol


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> It was in the 40s earlier, so it gets a bit chilly. Nothing like the north gets, just enough to confuse my body :lol


Sounds like my kind of place mate - not too cold. I must try and get to see the States a bit one day - never been there. 

Maybe you've got a bit of a cold or something?


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> So far mate.
> 
> I need more sleep too.
> 
> A try to wake up song -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :stu :grin2:


If my schoolboy French is right mate - I definitely can relate, I'm not 20 anymore either.

I'd give a lot just to be 45 again. :roll


----------



## Ekardy




----------



## The Linux Guy

Ekardy said:


>


Those are some awesome moves, can you do that?

Sometimes the reason why I spend too much time on SAS is because nobody gives me anything constructive to talk about. I feel like I'm floating around in space.


----------



## SparklingWater

Pretty damn meh.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel left out.


----------



## Vip3r

Exhausted, I need a vacation.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Vip3r said:


> Exhausted, I need a vacation.


I agree, you should go on vacation.

Currently I'm feeling too pushy. And yet.....


----------



## The Library of Emma

I told you why I felt sad and exhausted, why I felt anxious. And you told me, "It doesn't matter."

I don't have the right to feel effected because you think my reasons aren't sound enough

Because I cared more about what someone else thought of me than what you thought of me, in that moment?

Hearing you tell me to get over it, hurts, frankly, and it makes me want to squeeze you back out from my vulnerable thoughts. Once, you worried what some arses at work thought of you, and now I worried what some arses in a store thought of me, but I took your feelings seriously and you disregarded mine

Quite tired of hearing my feelings are hurt over too small of things

You_ don't do that _to sensitive people


----------



## Vip3r

I_Exist said:


> I agree, you should go on vacation.


Yeah, I may seriously take one soon. I have been working too much lately.


----------



## Ekardy

I_Exist said:


> Those are some awesome moves, can you do that?


:lol I mean that's not great dancing so yup I can do that lol. :b


----------



## Ekardy

Vip3r said:


> Exhausted, I need a vacation.


:hug you need some down time and just relax. Be careful you burn yourself out.


----------



## Vip3r

Ekardy said:


> :hug you need some down time and just relax. Be careful you burn yourself out.


Thanks :squeeze I am a hardcore workaholic so it is hard, but I am trying not to burn myself out. :b


----------



## The Linux Guy

Ekardy said:


> :lol I mean that's not great dancing so yup I can do that lol. :b


That should be your next video!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Unwanted and melancholic.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> If my schoolboy French is right mate - I definitely can relate, I'm not 20 anymore either.
> 
> I'd give a lot just to be 45 again. :roll


I think she is well into 30's now (34).



Ekardy said:


>


:lol That will definitely wake him up. :b


----------



## Crisigv

Like a failure


----------



## Ekardy

BleedingHearts said:


> sloshed


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel good that I got Ubuntu 18.10 to rip a CD with RipperX. However I feel very lonely. And still left out. I got to say it again, I don't think anyone likes talking to me.


----------



## Vivian Darkbloom

Like I don't exist lmao


----------



## Ekardy

BleedingHearts said:


> preparing for miami


 Might want to find better attire lol


----------



## Taaylah

Like nothing I do is good enough


----------



## Vip3r

In a mood were I hate my personality.


----------



## PandaBearx

Lonely


----------



## zonebox

harrison said:


> Sounds like my kind of place mate - not too cold. I must try and get to see the States a bit one day - never been there.
> 
> Maybe you've got a bit of a cold or something?


I was feeling a little stuffy, it was probably allergies. I still think all of SAS users should move to Florida, and we should build a compound.. no one seems to want to do it though


----------



## copper

Sleepy after eating some pork tenderloin, mashed potatoes and mixed veggies.


----------



## 8888

I've got a headache but I'm feeling okay emotionally.


----------



## PandaBearx

8888 said:


> I've got a headache but I'm feeling okay emotionally.


Hope you feel better!


----------



## 8888

PandaBearx said:


> Hope you feel better!


Thank you!

Sent from my XT1526 using Tapatalk


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So confused.


----------



## SparklingWater

I feel sad about the state of my family. Just a little while ago i was so f-ing embarrassed at just the absolute depth of my past social ineptitude. Like i can't express in words how bad it's been. I'm so embarrassed to have been the weird awkward quiet person for decades. I feel sad for myself and compassion for how hard those years were, but I'm still so f-ing embarrassed. So damn embarrassed. Ugh. I want to cry. Sad cringe i guess.


----------



## Crisigv

Anxiety is through the roof.


----------



## scintilla

.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Indecisive.


----------



## FearOfEverything

How am I feeling? Like this -》


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Old. Had a good chat with the meet woman I like but I'm too old for her. It's a shame because I like her, feel comfortable around her and I could really help her get out and about more and it would make me feel a lot better too. It's hard having the confidence and desire to do things, but not being able to get some to join you.


----------



## SparklingWater

Confused, but not necessarily surprised. Sigh.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Excited. Me and a friend from high school are having a video game night soon at his place.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Excited. Me and a friend from high school are having a video game night soon at his place.


That is awesome mate.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Excited. Me and a friend from high school are having a video game night soon at his place.


Nice one! I'm glad you've got some company and you're genuinely excited. That's what it's all about! :grin2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Old. Had a good chat with the meet woman I like but I'm too old for her. It's a shame because I like her, feel comfortable around her and I could really help her get out and about more and it would make me feel a lot better too. It's hard having the confidence and desire to do things, but not being able to get some to join you.


She can become a friend. I have had female friends older than me.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

ANX1 said:


> She can become a friend. I have had female friends older than me.


I spoke to her about the age gap and how I do enjoy being friends with females more, but how feelings can develop and it can ruin the friendship etc. She say's it's easy to talk to me because I'm older. I told her that I don't feel much different no matter who I talk to. I talk to her and just feel like I'm talking to a person, and I can talk to people my own age and just feel like I'm talking to a person. I don't think about age unless it's a kid or someone pretty old. I will see her again next week and talk with her again. It would be nice to get her as a friend. Nice to just have a day out with her somewhere. I'll just see how it goes. Over time she might become more interested in me. We'll see.

If it was up to me I'd just take her on holiday for week and love bomb her almost to the level of a narcissist :b lol, but it ain't never up to me is it lol


----------



## Wanderlust26

I regret trying to socialize at work. Now that I see who they really are, I hate them even more. I really wish I had just kept to myself. So much for a fresh start.


----------



## Ekardy

Alone. Unsure. Confused.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Alone. Unsure. Confused.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> I spoke to her about the age gap and how I do enjoy being friends with females more, but how feelings can develop and it can ruin the friendship etc. She say's it's easy to talk to me because I'm older. I told her that I don't feel much different no matter who I talk to. I talk to her and just feel like I'm talking to a person, and I can talk to people my own age and just feel like I'm talking to a person. I don't think about age unless it's a kid or someone pretty old. I will see her again next week and talk with her again. It would be nice to get her as a friend. Nice to just have a day out with her somewhere. I'll just see how it goes. Over time she might become more interested in me. We'll see.
> 
> If it was up to me I'd just take her on holiday for week and love bomb her almost to the level of a narcissist :b lol, but it ain't never up to me is it lol


Around the same age, usually have the same life experiences. Someone younger hasn't been through some life experiences and at same stäge in life. But in saying that some grow up quick and learn alot on a short period of time, do alot of things in life. Maybe it is based on the individuals involved? :stu


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Alone. Unsure. Confused.


:hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Wanderlust26 said:


> I regret trying to socialize at work. Now that I see who they really are, I hate them even more. I really wish I had just kept to myself. So much for a fresh start.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

BleedingHearts said:


> these trust issues from a past experience are making things difficult moving forward...as if it wasn't hard enough already


 :rub


----------



## funnynihilist

blah


----------



## 3stacks

All I feel is pain and regret atm


----------



## andy1984

Pete Beale said:


> I spoke to her about the age gap and how I do enjoy being friends with females more, but how feelings can develop and it can ruin the friendship etc. She say's it's easy to talk to me because I'm older. I told her that I don't feel much different no matter who I talk to. I talk to her and just feel like I'm talking to a person, and I can talk to people my own age and just feel like I'm talking to a person. I don't think about age unless it's a kid or someone pretty old. I will see her again next week and talk with her again. It would be nice to get her as a friend. Nice to just have a day out with her somewhere. I'll just see how it goes. Over time she might become more interested in me. We'll see.
> 
> If it was up to me I'd just take her on holiday for week and love bomb her almost to the level of a narcissist :b lol, but it ain't never up to me is it lol


how big is the age gap? just watched a series on Netflix about people with massive age gaps, like 30, 40 years uke


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

andy1984 said:


> how big is the age gap? just watched a series on Netflix about people with massive age gaps, like 30, 40 years uke


It ain't that bloody big lol

I saw a program ad on TV the other day called Age Gap Love, I think it was called, and one guy was 39, with an 82 year old. :/

I've got over a decade on her but I don't look my age. I could pass as someone 5 years older than her because I don't look my age.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> All I feel is pain and regret atm


I know those ****ing feelings well. :/


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> All I feel is pain and regret atm
> 
> 
> 
> I know those ****ing feelings well. :/
Click to expand...

 doesn't help that this damn flu won't go away especially the headache part


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> doesn't help that this damn flu won't go away especially the headache part


I had the flu for about 6 weeks when I was around your age. I **** you not it was ****ing relentless. When you have real flu, it's no joke and you understand why it's killer. It would finish me off having it that bad now. I hope yours isn't as rough as the strain I had. I've had it two or three times since then, last two weeks tops, but nothing compares to when I had it real bad. Twas ****ing brutal.


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> I had the flu for about 6 weeks when I was around your age. I **** you not it was ****ing relentless. When you have real flu, it's no joke and you understand why it's killer. It would finish me off having it that bad now. I hope yours isn't as rough as the strain I had. I've had it two or three times since then, last two weeks tops, but nothing compares to when I had it real bad. Twas ****ing brutal.


6 weeks?! Damn I don't think I think that would finish me off at this age lol. Sounds horrible. It's only been around a week so hopefully it will go soon


----------



## Ekardy

Pete Beale said:


> I had the flu for about 6 weeks when I was around your age. I **** you not it was ****ing relentless. When you have real flu, it's no joke and you understand why it's killer. It would finish me off having it that bad now. I hope yours isn't as rough as the strain I had. I've had it two or three times since then, last two weeks tops, but nothing compares to when I had it real bad. Twas ****ing brutal.


One time I had the flu, it turned into pneumonia.
Since then, I've had asthma. In other words, flu's no joke. =\


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> 6 weeks?! Damn I don't think I think that would finish me off at this age lol. Sounds horrible. It's only been around a week so hopefully it will go soon


Yeah it was crazy. My folks had it too. I remember going to the pub and starting to feel un well, and having to come back after two or three hours. It hit me like a brick wall. I think it killed 20k people over here. One of them was a young, fit as a fiddle rugby player my age at the time. I'd had flu two or three times before that then the same again after, but none of those strains hit me like that did. I'd be hospitalized if I had that now.


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> 6 weeks?! Damn I don't think I think that would finish me off at this age lol. Sounds horrible. It's only been around a week so hopefully it will go soon
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah it was crazy. My folks had it too. I remember going to the pub and starting to feel un well, and having to come back after two or three hours. It hit me like a brick wall. I think it killed 20k people over here. One of them was a young, fit as a fiddle rugby player my age at the time. I'd had flu two or three times before that then the same again after, but none of those strains hit me like that did. I'd be hospitalized if I had that now.
Click to expand...

 20k is mad I honestly didn't know it could get that bad. Although I do remember my brother getting that bird flu and he was so sick I was worried about him but I also thought I'm not going anywhere near him I want nothing to do with that haha


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Ekardy said:


> One time I had the flu, it turned into pneumonia.
> Since then, I've had asthma. In other words, flu's no joke. =\


My mom had pneumonia last year. I thought she'd had a stroke but it was a fever caused by the pneumonia. She got it by having acid reflux in her sleep and breathing in some fluid, which infected her lungs.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> 20k is mad I honestly didn't know it could get that bad. Although I do remember my brother getting that bird flu and he was so sick I was worried about him but I also thought I'm not going anywhere near him I want nothing to do with that haha


A guy at the meets got your flu but I seem to have to survived. I was convinced I'd get it knowing my luck. Probably get it from someone this weekend instead.


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> 20k is mad I honestly didn't know it could get that bad. Although I do remember my brother getting that bird flu and he was so sick I was worried about him but I also thought I'm not going anywhere near him I want nothing to do with that haha
> 
> 
> 
> A guy at the meets got your flu but I seem to have to survived. I was convinced I'd get it knowing my luck. Probably get it from someone this weekend instead.
Click to expand...

 just try not to shake too many hands lol


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> just try not to shake too many hands lol


Most folks are too SA to do that anyway. :b


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> Most folks are too SA to do that anyway. :b


Lmao it's not that bad is it? Just everyone sitting around a table not saying anything and making minimal eye contact lol


----------



## Crisigv

Hated


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Hated


Nope. :hug


----------



## PandaBearx

Kind of lost, and like I don’t know where to begin. I feel like I’m unhappy. When I’m productive or working on new projects I feel excited & I look forward to things again. Whereas now? I don’t know.....


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I have a project that is going to keep me busy today. I'm setting up a virtual arcade for VR, it is awesome, it has a bunch of arcade cabinets that when completed will function correctly, it has a little bowling alley, a mini basketball hoop.. it's fun. I spent yesterday wandering around the environment, and look forward to having full functionality once I get everything setup correctly.

I've wanted to have a few older school gaming cabinets for a while, but lack the space for it as well as the finances. This is going to give me my own arcade, without taking up space and costing a fortune - so I'm pretty happy right now.

Here is a video someone posted, it does not really do it complete justice because the headset makes it so much better.





The future is looking pretty bright, give it a couple of decades and this stuff is going to be outstanding. As it stands right now, I'm pretty close to having a holodeck at my own disposal, whenever I want to use it.


----------



## discopotato

Tired. Overwhelmed. Heartbroken beyond words. Its been such a long and painful day. Socializing under regular circumstances is difficult enough. Socializing with distant family members that I haven't seen for over a decade right after my mother's funeral was incredibly exhausting.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> Lmao it's not that bad is it? Just everyone sitting around a table not saying anything and making minimal eye contact lol


lol

I've got rid of my eye contact issues now and couldn't STFU talking to a couple of people tbh. I can still get periods where I'm racking my brains trying to think of something to say with some folks though. Sometimes all you have in common with some folks is SA and there's nothing else there.


----------



## Noca

scarpia said:


> How is WrongPlanet? I think a lot of people here are high on the AS scale.


It is a very active forum, what SAS once was. Since I have ASD, I find I can relate more to people on Wrong Planet than here. I found Wrong Planet by reading a post about Asperger's years ago on here.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A bit hungry. Kind of annoyed I don't like eating at work. I ate some beef jerky at work one day a couple of weeks ago then didn't eat at work ever since. Lol


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Lmao it's not that bad is it? Just everyone sitting around a table not saying anything and making minimal eye contact lol
> 
> 
> 
> lol
> 
> I've got rid of my eye contact issues now and couldn't STFU talking to a couple of people tbh. I can still get periods where I'm racking my brains trying to think of something to say with some folks though. Sometimes all you have in common with some folks is SA and there's nothing else there.
Click to expand...

 I honestly find it hard to come up with anything to say to anyone lol. So much easier online when you have plenty of time to come up with something funny lol. My personality is too boring in real life so I can't keep anyone entertained


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Cold, sniffly, and craving caffeine.



Pete Beale said:


> Nice one! I'm glad you've got some company and you're genuinely excited. That's what it's all about! :grin2:


Hehe, thanks! It was pretty fun. :grin2:



ANX1 said:


> That is awesome mate.


Thanks. 



Crisigv said:


> Hated


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> I honestly find it hard to come up with anything to say to anyone lol. So much easier online when you have plenty of time to come up with something funny lol. My personality is too boring in real life so I can't keep anyone entertained


You need someone you're comfortable around then the personality you have on here will come out and you will come up with things to say quicker.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Cold, sniffly, and craving caffeine.
> 
> Hehe, thanks! It was pretty fun. :grin2:
> 
> Thanks.
> 
> :hug :squeeze


Glad you had a good time mate.


----------



## Galen

exhausted and stressed as always


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> A bit hungry. Kind of annoyed I don't like eating at work. I ate some beef jerky at work one day a couple of weeks ago then didn't eat at work ever since. Lol


Awww. :hug

Sounds like need to try something different for breakfast.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Cold, sniffly, and craving caffeine.
> 
> Hehe, thanks! It was pretty fun. :grin2:
> 
> Thanks.
> 
> :hug :squeeze


You're welcome mate. 

Sorry to hear about the cold, sniffly.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@ANX1 I'm going to eat me a lunch when I get home.  And a couple snacks.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @ANX1 I'm going to eat me a lunch when I get home.  And a couple snacks.


Good to hear.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

ANX1 said:


> Good to hear.


I ate a peanut butter sandwich on wheat bread for my supper. Guess it's not a lunch. xD I ate a bit more yesterday cause it was my splurge day. Today, I'm eating a bit lighter. Still have two snacks to eat. And I had me a Bai drink. This time, I got some kind called ipanema pomegranate. Whatever ipanema is. Lol :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I ate a peanut butter sandwich on wheat bread for my supper. Guess it's not a lunch. xD I ate a bit more yesterday cause it was my splurge day. Today, I'm eating a bit lighter. Still have two snacks to eat. And I had me a Bai drink. This time, I got some kind called ipanema pomegranate. Whatever ipanema is. Lol :b


Sounds yummy, especially the sandwiches part. :mushy


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I'm sad


Maybe this cute Koala will make you feel better? -






At 0:34+, oops. :mushy


----------



## scintilla

.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Meh.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> At 0:34+, oops. :mushy


So cute! :grin2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> So cute! :grin2:


:yes


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

ANX1 said:


> Sounds yummy, especially the sandwiches part. :mushy


It was yummy.  I should've drank my soy milk with it. :b


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> A bit hungry. Kind of annoyed I don't like eating at work. I ate some beef jerky at work one day a couple of weeks ago then didn't eat at work ever since. Lol


I don't understand.


----------



## andy1984

bored tired


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> It was yummy.  I should've drank my soy milk with it. :b


Ah, school days. Memories from long time ago.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I got the VR arcade running and it is really cool.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Cold, lonely, and hungry. What else is new.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

ANX1 said:


> Ah, school days. Memories from long time ago.


I take that as you drank soy milk in school? :b

@iAmCodeMonkey I'm sorry you're feeling bad. :/


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I take that as you drank soy milk in school? :b
> 
> @iAmCodeMonkey I'm sorry you're feeling bad. :/


No comment. :b :lol


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @*iAmCodeMonkey* I'm sorry you're feeling bad. :/


Thanks so much. You are quite a sweetheart. :kiss::grin2:


----------



## Barakiel

Anxious as a result of my own procrastination. :blank


----------



## The Linux Guy

I came on here because there was something I wanted to add to my post. Once I got on here, I stopped feeling like writing about it. :stu


----------



## CNikki

Not worth shedding tears anymore.


----------



## Vip3r

Grumpy and lonely. I forgot to take my meds this morning, got stuck in traffic three times and the brakes are sticking on my car. Time for a drink and some music.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@I_Exist I don't understand, either. Guess it's an SA thing and a girl problem. Haha. 
@ANX1 lol Alright then.
@iAmCodeMonkey You're welcome. Hope you feel better. :squeeze
@Vip3r You need a break. :squeeze I hope you feel better.


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @*I_Exist* I don't understand, either. Guess it's an SA thing and a girl problem. Haha.


Girl problems are awesome, right? :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @ANX1 lol Alright then.


I'm joking. :b

I think I did, but not sure. I remember the can type, soy name on the side, so a maybe. :stu


----------



## Vip3r

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Vip3r You need a break. :squeeze I hope you feel better.


I do need a break, thanks. :squeeze


----------



## tehuti88

Cruddy headache and fatigue and abdominal pain that won't go away.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tehuti88 said:


> Cruddy headache and fatigue and abdominal pain that won't go away.


Awww. :hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I_Exist said:


> Girl problems are awesome, right? :b


They're the best. :grin2:
@ANX1 It probably was soy. xD Or maybe you drank soy sauce.  
@Vip3r You're welcome.  Sorry to hear you had a bad day. :/


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @ANX1 It probably was soy. xD Or maybe you drank soy sauce.


At least I didn't think it looked fishy. :b


----------



## 0589471

tehuti88 said:


> Cruddy headache and fatigue and abdominal pain that won't go away.


:squeeze i'm sorry  I hope everything is okay. I hope you feel better soon ♡


----------



## komorikun

Vip3r said:


> Grumpy and lonely. I forgot to take my meds this morning, got stuck in traffic three times and the brakes are sticking on my car. Time for a drink and some music.


What kind of meds do you take?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Vip3r said:


> Grumpy and lonely. I forgot to take my meds this morning, got stuck in traffic three times and the brakes are sticking on my car. Time for a drink and some music.


On one wheel or all 4x wheels? If all 4 then brake master cylinder seals or booster could be a cause (usually brake pedal heads toward the floor more if brake master cylinder seals have failed and leaks downwards, onto the booster behind the master cylinder). If one wheel, caliper piston seizing / leaking seal or brake hose has failed which could make the caliper pistons grab and not return on one wheel.

Or handbrake is causing issues and needs adjusting or repairing.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Very anxious.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable. I'm not even out of bed yet.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Cold... emotionally numb... an empty soulless shell of what I used to be.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Depressed.

Reading nearly 400 pages of the Chris Watts investigation so far hasn't helped. 

I have to try and attend a meet with two diagnosed cluster B disordered individuals this weekend, which I don't want to do. 

I don't even want to do these meets anyway tbh. Just don't know what else to do.

Just wanted things to work out with her so I just had one person I liked. That's enough for me.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> Depressed.
> 
> Reading nearly 400 pages of the Chris Watts investigation so far hasn't helped.
> 
> I have to try and attend a meet with two diagnosed cluster B disordered individuals this weekend, which I don't want to do.
> 
> I don't even want to do these meets anyway tbh. Just don't know what else to do.
> 
> *Just wanted things to work out with her so I just had one person I liked. *That's enough for me.


:rub

One woman cannot be your "everything" my friend. If I were you I would attend the meetups anyway, regardless of whether or not these two people you are talking about are cluster-B. Try not to write people off before you get to know them. If you want to get over her, you need to try and meet other people. That is the only way you will improve on this.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Miserable. I'm not even out of bed yet.





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Cold... emotionally numb... an empty soulless shell of what I used to be.


Because have to wake up Italian style, to the sound of lovely music, fresh baked bread with a summer like atmosphere, lovely company with jokes -








Pete Beale said:


> Depressed.
> 
> Reading nearly 400 pages of the Chris Watts investigation so far hasn't helped.
> 
> I have to try and attend a meet with two diagnosed cluster B disordered individuals this weekend, which I don't want to do.
> 
> I don't even want to do these meets anyway tbh. Just don't know what else to do.
> 
> Just wanted things to work out with her so I just had one person I liked. That's enough for me.


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

geraltofrivia said:


> Very anxious.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_




Try to get some sleep or breathe in and out fully which wakes you up a bit and feel slightly less anxious.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub
> 
> One woman cannot be your "everything" my friend. If I were you I would attend the meetups anyway, regardless of whether or not these two people you are talking about are cluster-B. Try not to write people off before you get to know them. If you want to get over her, you need to try and meet other people. That is the only way you will improve on this.


I know mate. I'm writing them off though because they're diagnosed cluster B. Just gotta try and get to know others and be careful around them.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

ANX1 said:


> Because have to wake up Italian style, to the sound of lovely music, fresh baked bread with a summer like atmosphere, lovely company with jokes -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry to hear mate.


Wish I was a koala mate, they've got it easy. lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Wish I was a koala mate, they've got it easy. lol


They love their cuddles -






Like a real life teddy bear.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> I know mate. I'm writing them off though because they're diagnosed cluster B. *Just gotta try and get to know others and be careful around them.*


Exactly.


----------



## Vip3r

komorikun said:


> What kind of meds do you take?


Sertraline (Zoloft)



ANX1 said:


> On one wheel or all 4x wheels? If all 4 then brake master cylinder seals or booster could be a cause (usually brake pedal heads toward the floor more if brake master cylinder seals have failed and leaks downwards, onto the booster behind the master cylinder). If one wheel, caliper piston seizing / leaking seal or brake hose has failed which could make the caliper pistons grab and not return on one wheel.
> 
> Or handbrake is causing issues and needs adjusting or repairing.


It felt like one wheel. The brakes pads were overdue to be changed. I am taking it to get repaired tomorrow.


----------



## discopotato

lonely


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Vip3r said:


> It felt like one wheel. The brakes pads were overdue to be changed. I am taking it to get repaired tomorrow.


If put it on a brake dyno, usually can see which wheel it is.

Usually brake rotors need to be changed at same time as brake pads and on all 4 wheels. More so if brake hose has failed and is replaced. They can swap brake pads from one side to the other to balance it out again after fixing brake hose if need a cheap fix. But if brake pads are worn to the replacement markers, replacement of rotors, brake pads is usually the safest, best option after replacing brake hose and is not cheap (labour, parts, etc).


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> lonely


Awww. :hug


----------



## discopotato

ANX1 said:


> Awww. :hug


:hug


----------



## Kilgore Trout

ANX1 said:


> Try to get some sleep or breathe in and out fully which wakes you up a bit and feel slightly less anxious.


I did sleep and now I've just woken up and feel amazing 

You're the ANX1 after all, you know a thing or two about anxiety 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Not well, I've had a headache for 2 days. Plus the usual depression and loneliness.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> :hug






geraltofrivia said:


> I did sleep and now I've just woken up and feel amazing
> 
> You're the ANX1 after all, you know a thing or two about anxiety
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Learnt how to manage it from an anxiety course, trial, error.  :b



twytarn said:


> Not well, I've had a headache for 2 days. Plus the usual depression and loneliness.


:hug

If neck related headache, buckwheat pillow. Headache, lack of sleep = anxious, depressed.


----------



## funnynihilist

^what if she slept on a stack of buckwheat pancakes instead?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Not happening. :sus :b


----------



## Vivian Darkbloom

Nauseous


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Sick of feeling like ****. Too many problems and too old. Left it way to late to fix so much. Really need help but there is none.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tipsy from the last bit of Prosecco. :drunk

Other than that I am feeling okay-ish.


----------



## komorikun

Feet and nose are cold.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

I am feeling physical pain, anger, sadness and defeat.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SparklingWater

I'm tired and hungry


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sad


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Numb and empty.


----------



## komorikun

Right hand (mouse hand) is cold.


----------



## komorikun

Feeling low energy. Can't get off my butt. Guess my breakfast/lunch wasn't the most energizing:

2 cups of coffee with soy milk and sugar
2 cups of water
raw cookie dough
2 cups of flat diet coke
macadamia nuts and candied pecans

And it's completely overcast. No sun. My apartment is cold. 

I miss the weather in Los Angeles. Brazil was pretty good too, well at least the part I lived, mild all year round. Japan and NYC's weather sucked big time. I hate extreme weather. I'd just like it to be 58F(14C) - 78F(26C) all year round.


----------



## funnynihilist

Heartburnish


----------



## harrison

Not too bad - just need another cup of coffee and I'll probably know what day it is.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

komorikun said:


> Feeling low energy. Can't get off my butt. Guess my breakfast/lunch wasn't the most energizing:
> 
> 2 cups of coffee with soy milk and sugar
> 2 cups of water
> raw cookie dough
> 2 cups of flat diet coke
> macadamia nuts and candied pecans
> 
> And it's completely overcast. No sun. My apartment is cold.
> 
> I miss the weather in Los Angeles. Brazil was pretty good too, well at least the part I lived, mild all year round. Japan and NYC's weather sucked big time. I hate extreme weather. I'd just like it to be 58F(14C) - 78F(26C) all year round.


 I'm unhappy anytime the weather gets cold enough for a coat. Jacket weather is OK but still not the best. I prefer 74 - 77.

I thought you were gonna get some heaters for your apartment. Then again, if it is not well insulated, you'd probably have to run at least two space heaters on high constantly to keep it comfortable.

We lost the furnace in our condo for a few days and it didn't get much below 70 in here (well insulated, I guess). but to get the temp up to 75 or above was really hard with space heaters. I had three 1500 watt space heaters running on high in three different rooms and it took several hours to get to 76 degrees.


----------



## Crisigv

Upset


----------



## NobodyWasHere

I feel nervous about my birthday that's coming up.


----------



## komorikun

WillYouStopDave said:


> I'm unhappy anytime the weather gets cold enough for a coat. Jacket weather is OK but still not the best. I prefer 74 - 77.
> 
> I thought you were gonna get some heaters for your apartment. Then again, if it is not well insulated, you'd probably have to run at least two space heaters on high constantly to keep it comfortable.
> 
> We lost the furnace in our condo for a few days and it didn't get much below 70 in here (well insulated, I guess). but to get the temp up to 75 or above was really hard with space heaters. I had three 1500 watt space heaters running on high in three different rooms and it took several hours to get to 76 degrees.


I got a couple space heaters and they do okay in the bedroom but to heat up the living room/dining room would probably use a crap ton of electricity. So I suffer in the living room with my electric blanket.

This apartment also has 3 wall heaters that blow out air but 2 of them are ancient...like from the 1980s.

That reminds me I still haven't bought the wall thermometers I was meaning to buy.


----------



## harrison

kandie said:


> I feel nervous about my birthday that's coming up.


But why would a birthday make you nervous? (unless of course you've had about a million of them like me)


----------



## WillYouStopDave

komorikun said:


> I got a couple space heaters and they do okay in the bedroom but to heat up the living room/dining room would probably use a crap ton of electricity. So I suffer in the living room with my electric blanket.
> 
> This apartment also has 3 wall heaters that blow out air but 2 of them are ancient...like from the 1980s.
> 
> That reminds me I still haven't bought the wall thermometers I was meaning to buy.


 Did you look at mica panel heaters? There's no such thing as an electric heater that's cheap to run but what you want is a space heater that's as safe as possible. I use the oil filled radiators. They're not completely safe (anything that runs on electricity is only as safe as the Chinese factory it was built in) but they don't get hot enough to set things on fire unless something goes horribly wrong and they're designed to run safely for many hours. We have two now. They use 1500 watts on high but they have thermostats so if you put it right by you and set the thermostat, it will keep the air around you toasty.

That's what most space heaters really are. Personal heaters. They're meant to heat up a small area around a person. Pretty much like a fan does in hot weather. But 1500 watts probably will cost you at least 10 cents an hour. If you run it for five hours a day and it clicks on and off you might get away with paying for 3 hours of electricity a day. 30 cents a day.

But most space heaters are 1500 watts and if you have more than one of them, you could easily kick your power bill up by 20 dollars or more.


----------



## NobodyWasHere

harrison said:


> But why would a birthday make you nervous? (unless of course you've had about a million of them like me)


Birthdays are more exciting when you're a kid. I'm dreading this one in particular because of the pressure to make it a big deal.


----------



## harrison

kandie said:


> Birthdays are more exciting when you're a kid. I'm dreading this one in particular because of the pressure to make it a big deal.


Oh I see.


----------



## Galen

My birthday was today, I already felt like I was 80, the fact I'm now 30 makes me feel 90. Nobody really noticed or cared except my dad who called and said happy birthday and my brother brought me cupcakes. To be honest even if someone did make it a big deal I'd probably still feel all blah. Still, woulda been nice to get some free stuff... >


----------



## Suchness

Galen said:


> My birthday was today, I already felt like I was 80, the fact I'm now 30 makes me feel 90. Nobody really noticed or cared except my dad who called and said happy birthday and my brother brought me cupcakes. To be honest even if someone did make it a big deal I'd probably still feel all blah. Still, woulda been nice to get some free stuff... >


Happy birthday old man!


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Woke up with one hell of a headache and neck pain. So, not that great.

Other than that



I'm trying to smile


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Great.

Elvis is the King of Romance -






Where do you find one of those angels Elvis, now that you convinced me that they exist. :mushy


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Drained. Anxious. Depressed. Lonely. Grumpy.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

twytarn said:


> Drained. Anxious. Depressed. Lonely. Grumpy.


 :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Numb and lonely.



twytarn said:


> Drained. Anxious. Depressed. Lonely. Grumpy.


Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. 

:hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

ANX1 said:


> :hug





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
> 
> :hug :squeeze


Thanks for the hugs.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

twytarn said:


> Thanks for the hugs.


No problem! :grin2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Numb and lonely.


Sorry to hear mate. 



twytarn said:


> Thanks for the hugs.


You're welcome.


----------



## harrison

Fantastic. I was just having a wander around a second-hand bookshop in the city and came across six nice old leather bound books. That shop has some great stuff every now and then. And very cheap.

It's a bit ridiculous just how excited I get just finding lovely old books like that - I love it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Fantastic. I was just having a wander around a second-hand bookshop in the city and came across six nice old leather bound books. That shop has some great stuff every now and then. And very cheap.
> 
> It's a bit ridiculous just how excited I get just finding lovely old books like that - I love it.


Especially when in mint condition.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Especially when in mint condition.


Well, these ones aren't perfect mate - but they're still good. From about the mid 1800's. I get a big kick out of finding these nice old books.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Well, these ones aren't perfect mate - but they're still good. From about the mid 1800's. I get a big kick out of finding these nice old books.


Oh, ok.

Wow, those are old. :O

I have read handwritten books from that time period. The writing is just amazing and sometimes hard to read (really fancy like).


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Oh, ok.
> 
> *Wow, those are old. :O*
> 
> I have read handwritten books from that time period. The writing is just amazing and sometimes hard to read (really fancy like).


The oldest book I've ever owned was from 1483 - a Bible. I bought it from a guy in Paris actually and had it couriered to me one time when I was staying in Bali. I had to keep the air-con on all the time in my hotel room to protect the paper from the humidity. Not a very good idea to have books like that there but I wasn't thinking clearly obviously.

A wonderful old book - and considering printing only started in Europe in 1450, very old. I smuggled it back into Australia wrapped in an old T-shirt.  Had to sell it eventually because I needed the money. Bit of a shame.


----------



## komorikun

harrison said:


> The oldest book I've ever owned was from 1483 - a Bible. I bought it from a guy in Paris actually and had it couriered to me one time when I was staying in Bali. I had to keep the air-con on all the time in my hotel room to protect the paper from the humidity. Not a very good idea to have books like that there but I wasn't thinking clearly obviously.
> 
> A wonderful old book - and considering printing only started in Europe in 1450, very old. I smuggled it back into Australia wrapped in an old T-shirt.  Had to sell it eventually because I needed the money. Bit of a shame.


When did the printing press become common? Before the printing press books were all handwritten, right?


----------



## harrison

komorikun said:


> When did the printing press become common? Before the printing press books were all handwritten, right?


Pretty sure it took off fairly quickly after the Gutenberg press in the mid 1400's - but paper was expensive for quite a long time. The Chinese were technically printing hundreds of years before that - using woodblocks etc. And yeah, manuscripts etc were hand-written in Europe.

Back in the 1600's they used a lot of ragpaper - I love that type of paper, it's very thick. I had a book made out of that a while ago but sold it. I wish I'd kept that book.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> The oldest book I've ever owned was from 1483 - a Bible. I bought it from a guy in Paris actually and had it couriered to me one time when I was staying in Bali. I had to keep the air-con on all the time in my hotel room to protect the paper from the humidity. Not a very good idea to have books like that there but I wasn't thinking clearly obviously.
> 
> A wonderful old book - and considering printing only started in Europe in 1450, very old. I smuggled it back into Australia wrapped in an old T-shirt.  Had to sell it eventually because I needed the money. Bit of a shame.


Wow. :O

They need like a special / custom dust cover (plastic or similar).

Sounded like a gem as far as books go.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Wow. :O
> 
> They need like a special / custom dust cover (plastic or similar).
> 
> Sounded like a gem as far as books go.


It was a gem mate. Anything printed before 1501 is rare - and called 'incunabula,' meaning roughly 'from the cradle' in Latin. (the birth of printing so to speak.) Bit pricey too.

It's okay - I'll stop talking about books now, once I start I can't stop. My wife's eyes always sort of glaze over as soon as I start.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> It was a gem mate. Anything printed before 1501 is rare - and called 'incunabula,' meaning roughly 'from the cradle' in Latin. (the birth of printing so to speak.) Bit pricey too.
> 
> It's okay - I'll stop talking about books now, once I start I can't stop. My wife's eyes always sort of glaze over as soon as I start.


Interesting. 

It is ok mate, love old things, books, cars, houses, furniture, etc.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Lonely and scared.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Lonely and scared.


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

Not good. I was looking for work today and had to ride my bike in the snow for an emergency. And still no job or prospect yet so yeah, not peachy today.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, stressed.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Scrub-Zero said:


> Not good. I was looking for work today and had to ride my bike in the snow for an emergency. And still no job or prospect yet so yeah, not peachy today.


Your sig made me giggle.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

ANX1 said:


> Tired, stressed.


:hug

Miserable as sin here.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> :hug
> 
> Miserable as sin here.


Thanks mate, much appreciated. 

Sorry to hear that you feel miserable mate. Crossing fingers, toes that you eventually feel better over time.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

twytarn said:


> Your sig made me giggle.


I laughed when I read that cookie.

It's from a game called Shadow Warrior 2, a game series well known for wang jokes and crude humor. The protagonist is called Lo Wang so you can imagine... :lol


----------



## Ekardy

Like I wasted my time. 
I mean you ignore me and I have to take the hint.
I hate that.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Like I wasted my time.
> I mean you ignore me and I have to take the hint.
> I hate that.


You seem very upset at someone (rare to see you that upset, so must be pretty bad to upset you that much).

A :hug for you to hopefully make you feel better.


----------



## Ekardy

ANX1 said:


> You seem very upset at someone (rare to see you that upset, so must be pretty bad to upset you that much).
> 
> A :hug for you to hopefully make you feel better.


I am. Very upset, I'm angry.

Thank you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> I am. Very upset, I'm angry.
> 
> Thank you.


Awww. :hug

You're welcome.


----------



## harrison

More calm today - but bored.


----------



## Kevin001

I need to fix my facial hair.....especially my chin hair its a mess ugh.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> More calm today - but bored.


At least you are not overboard (calm sea so no rocking of a boat). :b

I think I read that post wrong. :O


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Like I wasted my time.
> I mean you ignore me and I have to take the hint.
> I hate that.


I hope that the person who you are talking about here realizes that you are hurt by their inaction.  :hug :squeeze


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I hope that the person who you are talking about here realizes that you are hurt by their inaction.  :hug :squeeze


thank you :squeeze

I'm sorry, I'm not the peppiest person at the moment.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Disappointed. 

Stubborn.


----------



## 0589471

my anxiety is a monster set to isolate me forever


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I feel like I just sat on my poor butt tocks for several hours and got up and my butt tocks felt like they'd been sat on for several hours. I have moved to the bed and am now wondering out loud why I didn't just stay in bed, since I always sit on that hard *** chair and regret it.


----------



## caelle

Feeling comfy in a warm bed with a heating blanket. Trying to enjoy my day off and the rainy weather.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****e. I have another meet this weekend but what's the point? Meeting people for a few hours once a week does nothing for me. I've met close to 100 people in the past few months but can't get anywhere with anyone I'm interested in outside of the meets. There's always something getting in the way. I want just one person to connect with but it's so bloody difficult. 

Were all a bunch of misfits at these meets at the end of the day and no one really wants to be their do they? lol I don't want to be their. I wish I could get this one meet member to go out for dinner with me, have a day out, get to know each other more, but it's not going to happen.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Lonely


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lonely


Awww. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> my anxiety is a monster set to isolate me forever


I can relate to this at times.  :hug :squeeze



twytarn said:


> Disappointed.
> 
> Stubborn.


Aww!  :hug :squeeze



Ekardy said:


> thank you :squeeze
> 
> I'm sorry, I'm not the peppiest person at the moment.


No problem, and don't worry. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Anxious and brooding.


----------



## 3stacks

Sick, worried and concerned


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

3stacks said:


> Sick, worried and concerned


:rub


----------



## 3stacks

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Sick, worried and concerned
Click to expand...

 you're nearly on 10,000 posts!


----------



## twistix

Bitter


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, as always. I'm never allowed to feel good. There has to be some permanent damage done by always feeling like this.


----------



## Zatch

Sad day. Heavy downpour and my vehicle has water leaking in from somewhere...

Time to investimagate.


----------



## SparklingWater

A feeling I can't exactly place. Feels a little insecure... no maybe more agitated, keyed up. Not quite sure. I'll sit with it longer.


----------



## CNikki

Crisigv said:


> Sad, as always. I'm never allowed to feel good. There has to be some permanent damage done by always feeling like this.


That damage has been done for me a long time ago. Even if one day it were to 'go away' then I probably wouldn't know what to do.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Still feeling lonely.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Still feeling lonely.


Awww. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Sad, as always. I'm never allowed to feel good. There has to be some permanent damage done by always feeling like this.


:sigh :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Still feeling lonely.


Poor thing!  :hug :squeeze



> CNikki said:
> 
> 
> 
> That damage has been done for me a long time ago. *Even if one day it were to 'go away' then I probably wouldn't know what to do.*
> 
> 
> 
> :hug :squeeze
> 
> 
> 
> Crisigv said:
> 
> 
> 
> Sad, as always. *I'm never allowed to feel good.* There has to be some permanent damage done by always feeling like this.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> :hug :squeeze
Click to expand...

I blame abusive/narcissistic parenting for things like the above. That is also how personality disorders can develop in otherwise good people, and that is very sad.


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I blame abusive/narcissistic parenting for things like the above. That is also how personality disorders can develop in otherwise good people, and that is very sad.


Not sure if this was aimed towards me. Can't say I disagree with the general thought but I won't say as to whether I agree on it pertaining to my personal situation. Depression along with many other things definitely run in the family despite that a good portion of mine don't believe in that type of stuff. Sadly when people refuse to acknowledge that they have an issue it just causes a chain of events...which can bring out the worst in* people.


----------



## SparklingWater

Worried, nervous and itchy


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Not sure if this was aimed towards me. Can't say I disagree with the general thought but I won't say as to whether I agree on it pertaining to my personal situation. Depression along with many other things definitely run in the family despite that a good portion of mine don't believe in that type of stuff. *Sadly when people refuse to acknowledge that they have an issue it just causes a chain of events...which can bring out the worst in people.*


It was not aimed at you or anyone else, just speaking in general terms and what I have observed around issues like this. Sad when people refuse to believe in diagnosed mental illnesses in this day and age, not to mention I agree with your last point.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@iAmCodeMonkey Thanks.  Trying to get myself into a better mood but it's been hard lately.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @*iAmCodeMonkey* Thanks.  Trying to get myself into a better mood but it's been hard lately.


Sadly I can relate to this right now.


----------



## komorikun

I should go to the supermarket but I'm feeling too lazy.


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired, time for sleep soon. :yawn



Crisigv said:


> Worthless


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Worthless


 :hug



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Tired, time for sleep soon. :yawn


Good night. Pleasant game dreams. :O


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> Good night. Pleasant game dreams. :O


 Thanks! :grin2:
My dreams might not be rated PG though. More like 18+ at this hour. Hehe, me so funny. >


----------



## harrison

Full - definitely had too much at lunch again.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Thanks! :grin2:
> My dreams might not be rated PG though. More like 18+ at this hour. Hehe, me so funny. >


You're welcome mate. 

Duke Nukem 18+? :O :b


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> Duke Nukem 18+? :O :b


 No, more like Tomb Raider/Lara Croft 18+. Or something. :lol

k, time for bed now, night night SAS.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> No, more like Tomb Raider/Lara Croft 18+. Or something. :lol
> 
> k, time for bed now, night night SAS.


Duke Nukem and Lara Croft? :O

Night mate.


----------



## SparklingWater

super relaxed


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sadly I can relate to this right now.


:frown2: Hope you feel better.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Wow worst day ever today... feel like everything I was building up before went out the window just because of today. On top of that my family's habits and imperfections are becoming excruciating... 

Few moments today where I actually felt my mind zoom out of orbit like "wow wtf is life..." I mean do people not question what they're doing here or do they just do whatever and **** like rabbits all day. 

God what scum, really. 

Idiocy...


----------



## Kilgore Trout

Extremely irritated.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

The meets are just making me realize how much I miss her and how hard it is to connect with anyone else. I did about 4.5 hours of socializing yesterday, but don't feel anything like I did with her.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> Duke Nukem and Lara Croft? :O


Nope, just her.  :lol



PurplePeopleEater said:


> :frown2: Hope you feel better.


Thanks! :grin2:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> The meets are just making me realize how much I miss her and how hard it is to connect with anyone else. I did about 4.5 hours of socializing yesterday, but don't feel anything like I did with her.


 :rub


----------



## nlhalloween

Alone.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Nope, just her.  :lol


I was thinking of those two as a couple and what he says when around women in the club, etc.

It is like what is the start of the name of what is shown in this video clip -






:O :lol


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub


Thanks mate. :rub


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> I was thinking of those two as a couple and what he says when around women in the club, etc.


:lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cold. Lonely. :rain


----------



## PandaBearx

Le sad


----------



## coeur_brise

Burnt out... Now that I've paid a quarter of a major purchase, I kinda wanna quit and just go on my merry way. I've been displaced from a living place, vacillating between here and nowhere, hating job, hating things, frustrated. I'd love to go rogue and do nothing. Longtime teachers would call it a sabbatical but ...I'd probably describe that to other people but feel like I was quitting with no plan B. Theyre always saying, look for a job while you plan to quit so you'll have one lined up and I'm like...**** this, I'm tired leave me aloooooone. Nooooooo. Hrm. Decision.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Jealous and hurttt


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :lol


Strange game dreams and äll. :O :b



twytarn said:


> Cold. Lonely. :rain


Awww. :hug



PandaBearx said:


> Le sad


Le :hug



coeur_brise said:


> Burnt out... Now that I've paid a quarter of a major purchase, I kinda wanna quit and just go on my merry way. I've been displaced from a living place, vacillating between here and nowhere, hating job, hating things, frustrated. I'd love to go rogue and do nothing. Longtime teachers would call it a sabbatical but ...I'd probably describe that to other people but feel like I was quitting with no plan B. Theyre always saying, look for a job while you plan to quit so you'll have one lined up and I'm like...**** this, I'm tired leave me aloooooone. Nooooooo. Hrm. Decision.


They are right, need one lined up so easy transistion. But sometimes people go on overseas trip or go somewhere different to have a rest before doing that. Sounds like that is what you need.



Deaf Mute said:


> Jealous and hurttt


Sorry to hear mate. 

Sounds like someonē you loved.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Total ****e. Christmas decorations are up and I feel **** all.


----------



## CNikki

Annoyed.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Dangerously numb.



Pete Beale said:


> Total ****e. Christmas decorations are up and I feel **** all.


I feel you on that one man.

:rub



CNikki said:


> Annoyed.


:hug


----------



## CNikki

Pete Beale said:


> Total ****e. Christmas decorations are up and I feel **** all.


Still have yet to put mine up. It's become more of a chore and pretty useless one at that.


----------



## funnynihilist

crappy


----------



## tehuti88

Worried.  Did I finally just take too long? Did I ruin the one good thing I have/had...?

It's solely my fault, if so. I had numerous chances to do right, but failed them anyway.

I want my fear to be wrong, but every other, similar, time in my life, it was right. -_-


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Dangerously numb.
> 
> I feel you on that one man.
> 
> :rub
> 
> :hug


Dangerously numb, anhedonia, I hate it!

I'm looking at the decorations and trying to feel something, but can't. I've walked around the cities christmas market multiple times, both day and night, and can't feeling anything either.



CNikki said:


> Still have yet to put mine up. It's become more of a chore and pretty useless one at that.


Last year she said to me "you can put our decorations up this year". I was thinking I was going to be staying with her, her mom and cats again at Christmas. Never happened and here I am again a year later, feeling worse than last year. I couldn't be arsed to stick even a single bauble on my families tree. *sigh*

I might start drinking again this christmas and kill myself with too much booze and food. I can't ****ing face 2019.


----------



## 3stacks

Heartbroken. I thought me and this girl had something it's been like 4-5 months and she always says she's in love with me and then boom she's got a boyfriend. I suppose it was bound to happen, no one could actually want to be with me cause I'm so ugly and my personality is terrible so I was deluding myself even when she said she would. The worst part is that it takes me forever to get over these things and now all I can think about is her and how happy she made me and that I'll never find anyone that can compare to her again. I even tried to replace her but no one felt the same. They seemed like the perfect person to me with their humour etc. Ah this hurts so much and probably will for so long. Sorry this is long af just needed somewhere to vent lol.


----------



## SparklingWater

I've been crying all day. But it's that... deep, full body cathartic grieving that feels like you've lost 20lbs when you're done. I have a huge block of grief stored in my body. It feels so good to chisel away at **** I should've cried about 10 yrs ago, but never felt safe enough to express.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

3stacks said:


> Heartbroken. I thought me and this girl had something it's been like 4-5 months and she always says she's in love with me and then boom she's got a boyfriend. I suppose it was bound to happen, no one could actually want to be with me cause I'm so ugly and my personality is terrible so I was deluding myself even when she said she would. The worst part is that it takes me forever to get over these things and now all I can think about is her and how happy she made me and that I'll never find anyone that can compare to her again. I even tried to replace her but no one felt the same. They seemed like the perfect person to me with their humour etc. Ah this hurts so much and probably will for so long. Sorry this is long af just needed somewhere to vent lol.


 :rub

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, what can I say lol


----------



## 3stacks

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Heartbroken. I thought me and this girl had something it's been like 4-5 months and she always says she's in love with me and then boom she's got a boyfriend. I suppose it was bound to happen, no one could actually want to be with me cause I'm so ugly and my personality is terrible so I was deluding myself even when she said she would. The worst part is that it takes me forever to get over these things and now all I can think about is her and how happy she made me and that I'll never find anyone that can compare to her again. I even tried to replace her but no one felt the same. They seemed like the perfect person to me with their humour etc. Ah this hurts so much and probably will for so long. Sorry this is long af just needed somewhere to vent lol.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, what can I say lol
Click to expand...

 it's horrible I hate that i take forever to get over these things and become obsessive. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, I thought she was a woman but then I found a Penis.


----------



## Arlene.Y

I feel horrible on a day that is supposed to be very special. I've been waiting for it all year, it's almost over and it's been the worst day ever thus far.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Arlene.Y said:


> I feel horrible on a day that is supposed to be very special. I've been waiting for it all year, it's almost over and it's been the worst day ever thus far.


 :hug



3stacks said:


> it's horrible I hate that i take forever to get over these things and become obsessive. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, I thought she was a woman but then I found a Penis.


:rub


----------



## Crisigv

All around horrible.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> All around horrible.


:hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> All around horrible.


:hug:squeeze


----------



## Vip3r

I am such an awkward person. I feel like people like me if they get to know me, but I make it so damn hard.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Vip3r said:


> I am such an awkward person. I feel like people like me if they get to know me, but I make it so damn hard.


Same problem on my end. :rub


----------



## Vip3r

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Same problem on my end. :rub


Thanks  Sorry, you feel that way too.


----------



## scintilla

.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I feel completely lost in life. I need saving from myself. Where are you to save me from my loneliness and depression?


----------



## Vip3r

Sleepy, lonely and procrastinating errands I need to do today.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Do you really want to know?


* *




Well, sometime around the time I woke up, I sharted in my sleep and didn't realize it until I woke up with an unusually warm sensation in the nether regions and the smell alerted me that nothing good was happening down there. I don't know why but my first thought was that those were my favorite pajama pants. And I also oddly took note of the fact that I felt pretty good aside from that. And then I ran stiff-legged to the bathroom to find a mess that honestly made me wonder if I'd ever get clean again.

So that was my "morning". I guess I don't feel too bad considering how my day has gone so far.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Unwanted


----------



## SunshineSam218

Right now I'm feeling positive and happy.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Unwanted


:hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

ANX1 said:


> :hug


Thank you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thank you.


You're welcome.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like **** mentally and physically


----------



## Crisigv

Sore and depressed


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Okay-ish for a change. I hope everyone who is feeling crappy can start to feel better soon.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Unwanted


:hug:squeeze



Gentleheart_Flower said:


> Right now I'm feeling positive and happy.






Crisigv said:


> Sore and depressed


:hug:squeeze



Canadian Brotha said:


> Like **** mentally and physically


:rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Sore and depressed


Awww. :hug


----------



## harrison

Slightly manic - better go to bed and try to go to sleep.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> Slightly manic - better go to bed and try to go to sleep.


Goodnight, sweet dreams :rub


----------



## SparklingWater

Thoroughly mind ****ed. Binged all of Doctor Foster. The insanity of it all. My goodness!


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> Goodnight, sweet dreams :rub


Thanks mate - goodnight. 

I feel terrible actually - but I better try to sleep, I have no idea what's going on with me at the moment.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - goodnight.
> 
> I feel terrible actually - but I better try to sleep, I have no idea what's going on with me at the moment.


It'll pass, sleep's good for that. Tomorrow is a new day.


----------



## fluorish

A lot less stressed cause I almost finished Uni for the year.


----------



## Vip3r

Feeling very good today.


----------



## harrison

Teetering on the edge of mania. 

I should try and find a new shrink - Jesus that's a pain. This medication is either inadequate or inappropriate.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> It'll pass, sleep's good for that. Tomorrow is a new day.


Thanks mate.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Slightly impatient. 
My old high school classmate have not replied to my Facebook message I had sent him after I have question him about a recent love poem he wrote and uploaded on Youtube. I get the feeling the poem is about me. He instead sent an email saying he lost his phone again. I had to question him again about the poem in the email. I'm still waiting for a response.

I swear the next time he reply I'm going to just ask him up front. The gig is up.

_Sent by a Tapatalk two-headed Frog_


----------



## funnynihilist

bad


----------



## Crisigv

All alone. I guess I should expect to feel like this for my whole life. I'm stupid to think anything could change.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Okay-ish, trying to fight a crying spell though. I can feel the tears trying to desperately escape... Whoo-hoo.



Crisigv said:


> All alone. I guess I should expect to feel like this for my whole life. I'm stupid to think anything could change.


:hug:squeeze



funnynihilist said:


> bad


:rub



Vip3r said:


> Feeling very good today.


:grin2:


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Okay-ish, trying to fight a crying spell though. I can feel the tears trying to desperately escape... Whoo-hoo.


 I'm sorry. I hate when that happens but sometimes you just need to cry.

:squeeze


----------



## SparklingWater

Hmmm possible Freudian slip via autocorrect earlier. Meant excited not escape.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> I'm sorry. I hate when that happens but sometimes you just need to cry.
> 
> :squeeze


Thank you so much! :squeeze


----------



## harrison

I feel like I just lived about 5 days in one - a bit like I've been hit by a truck. I was so manic this morning I wanted to call everyone I knew, but luckily I just called the doctors and the hospital to try and find a new shrink. Such a weird feeling. The lady on the phone must have thought I was insane. One thing though when you're like that you feel very confident - you don't really feel anxiety at all. But it's much too intense and I'm glad it's eased off now. It's bloody exhausting.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> All alone. I guess I should expect to feel like this for my whole life. I'm stupid to think anything could change.


:hug



harrison said:


> I feel like I just lived about 5 days in one - a bit like I've been hit by a truck. I was so manic this morning I wanted to call everyone I knew, but luckily I just called the doctors and the hospital to try and find a new shrink. Such a weird feeling. The lady on the phone must have thought I was insane. One thing though when you're like that you feel very confident - you don't really feel anxiety at all. But it's much too intense and I'm glad it's eased off now. It's bloody exhausting.


Now one wonders what you must have been like when travelling to europe, etc. Like how many days you thought it was?


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Now one wonders what you must have been like when travelling to europe, etc. Like how many days you thought it was?


I think I was like that for over a month back then - probably worse than today too because I didn't know there was anything wrong then. I was just doing all these crazy things and thought it was okay. I'm pretty sure I was up for four days straight one time - doing some really mad things in the middle of the night, like washing all of my clothes in my swimming pool at the villas I was staying at. It never occurred to me that was a bit strange.

Much worse stuff in other places - lucky I didn't hurt myself or someone else really. It's very frightening when I think about it sometimes.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L




----------



## scintilla

.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> All alone. I guess I should expect to feel like this for my whole life. I'm stupid to think anything could change.


Feel the same.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I think I was like that for over a month back then - probably worse than today too because I didn't know there was anything wrong then. I was just doing all these crazy things and thought it was okay. I'm pretty sure I was up for four days straight one time - doing some really mad things in the middle of the night, like washing all of my clothes in my swimming pool at the villas I was staying at. It never occurred to me that was a bit strange.
> 
> Much worse stuff in other places - lucky I didn't hurt myself or someone else really. It's very frightening when I think about it sometimes.


Oh, ok. 

In some islands washing stuff in the sea is not uncommon.

Having no control over actions sounds frightening.


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Okay-ish, trying to fight a crying spell though. I can feel the tears trying to desperately escape... Whoo-hoo.


:hug

Trying not to go down that road myself. It's not worth it and I don't know why I've resorted to this. There was a time I hardly cried over anything.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sore after accidentally hurting myself. Pain hasn't gone away.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> :hug
> 
> Trying not to go down that road myself. It's not worth it and I don't know why I've resorted to this. There was a time I hardly cried over anything.


Thanks for the hug, and I am sorry that you are feeling that way too. :hug :squeeze


----------



## Depo

I feel so depressed. A young man who used to live a few houses from mine died from a drug overdose/alcohol binge 3 days ago, and he died the same night I was drinking myself to sleep. I keep asking myself, why wasn't it me? :sigh:rain


----------



## Ekardy

BleedingHearts said:


> dece


...I had to google this. lmao

Made myself feel old as **** :rain
You young whippersnappers and your slang nowadays.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

ANX1 said:


> Sore after accidentally hurting myself. Pain hasn't gone away.


Stubbed big toe? It's always a stubbed big toe! lol


----------



## Ekardy

ANX1 said:


> Sore after accidentally hurting myself. Pain hasn't gone away.


Hope you're okay :squeeze


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Depo said:


> I feel so depressed. A young man who used to live a few houses from mine died from a drug overdose/alcohol binge 3 days ago, and he died the same night I was drinking myself to sleep. I keep asking myself, why wasn't it me? :sigh:rain


I'm sorry you feel so bad mate. :rub


----------



## Crisigv

Who cares?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Who cares?


Aww!  We care about you here! :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Depo said:


> I feel so depressed. A young man who used to live a few houses from mine died from a drug overdose/alcohol binge 3 days ago, and he died the same night I was drinking myself to sleep. I keep asking myself, why wasn't it me? :sigh:rain


Awww. :hug

Sorry to hear. 

Because you are one of those amazing people out there? 



Pete Beale said:


> Stubbed big toe? It's always a stubbed big toe! lol


I bruised muscles over rib cage, sprained ankle during a storm. Ankle seems ok now, just bruised rib cage hurts if cough, move, etc. 



Ekardy said:


> Hope you're okay :squeeze


Just been sore. Thank you for your concern Kardy, much appreciated. :hug

I hope you are okay. 



Crisigv said:


> Who cares?


We do. :hug

I want that cold or whatever it is to go away. Shoooo cold or whatever it is. Leave her alone.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

ANX1 said:


> Awww. :hug
> 
> Sorry to hear.
> 
> Because you are one of those amazing people out there?
> 
> I bruised muscles over rib cage, sprained ankle during a storm. Ankle seems ok now, just bruised rib cage hurts if cough, move, etc.
> 
> Just been sore. Thank you for your concern Kardy, much appreciated. :hug
> 
> I hope you are okay.
> 
> We do. :hug
> 
> I want that cold or whatever it is to go away. Shoooo cold or whatever it is. Leave her alone.


Might have cracked a rib if you're having trouble breathing mate. I'd get it checked.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Might have cracked a rib if you're having trouble breathing mate. I'd get it checked.


Breathing is ok, just coughing it hurts a little bit in lower rib cage (near stomach), moving.

Sort of not the first time have bruised rib cage muscles. Other was a metal bar hitting chest while removing a stump. Takes ages to heal properly.


----------



## Vip3r

Awkward, useless and worthless.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Vip3r said:


> Awkward, useless and worthless.


:rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Vip3r said:


> Awkward, useless and worthless.


You are awesome mate.


----------



## NocaLove

I have a minor headache and my bp is high.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

ANX1 said:


> Breathing is ok, just coughing it hurts a little bit in lower rib cage (near stomach), moving.
> 
> Sort of not the first time have bruised rib cage muscles. Other was a metal bar hitting chest while removing a stump. Takes ages to heal properly.


I had pleurisy once. Trying to breath with that is bloody murder.:crying:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I wish I could wake up and just have one day not feeling like this. Sigh


----------



## Vip3r

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub





ANX1 said:


> You are awesome mate.


thanks guys


----------



## PandaBearx

Like an insomniac that got 3 hours of sleep, probably shouldn't have had a latte at like 7pm last night. To be fair I wanted hot apple cider but they didn't have it and I needed something warm.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

ANX1 said:


> You're welcome.


^
What he said.


----------



## funnynihilist

Bring on the alc-alc-alc-alc-alcohol!


----------



## Ekardy

funnynihilist said:


> Bring on the alc-alc-alc-alc-alcohol!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Extremely frustrated and pissed off.


----------



## blue2

Stop saying alcohol, I'm going to the gym tomorrow & thats that, trying to go 3 times a week so no booze the night before : / ....but maybe the night after XD


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Lonely and anxious off-and-on. :sigh



twytarn said:


> Extremely frustrated and pissed off.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## Ekardy

Frustrated. I quit.


I CAN NOT make a damn grilled cheese.

Give me salmon, give me creme brûlée, heck give me a filet mignon to cook to your liking....but **** you grilled cheese!!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Frustrated. I quit.
> 
> I CAN NOT make a damn grilled cheese.
> 
> Give me salmon, give me creme brûlée, heck give me a filet mignon to cook to your liking....but **** you grilled cheese!!


"looks at food picture thread"

I can make you a sandwich if you like darling...  :lol


----------



## Karsten

https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/23891/grilled-cheese-sandwich/


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> "looks at food picture thread"
> 
> I can make you a sandwich if you like darling...  :lol


lol My dream man would make me grilled cheese sandwiches, but they have to be cheesy enough. :lol


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> lol My dream man would make me grilled cheese sandwiches, but they have to be cheesy enough. :lol


:grin2:


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ekardy said:


> Frustrated. I quit.
> 
> I CAN NOT make a damn grilled cheese.
> 
> Give me salmon, give me creme brûlée, heck give me a filet mignon to cook to your liking....but **** you grilled cheese!!


What happens when you try?


----------



## funnynihilist

twytarn said:


> What happens when you try?


The authorities are called


----------



## Ekardy

twytarn said:


> What happens when you try?


If I must admit this to the whole world:

I didn't grow up eating grilled cheese sandwiches, didn't know what they were and didn't try them until I was in high school.
So when I tried making my own, I used to toast them in the toaster, then put the slice of cheese in between and put the sandwich in the microwave. :serious:
Today, I tried doing it the way someone told me (what I could remember) and it seems simple enough but I still managed to burn the sandwich completely. T_T


----------



## funnynihilist

Ekardy said:


> If I must admit this to the whole world:
> 
> I didn't grow up eating grilled cheese sandwiches, didn't know what they were and didn't try them until I was in high school.
> So when I tried making my own, I used to toast them in the toaster, then put the slice of cheese in between and put the sandwich in the microwave. :serious:
> Today, I tried doing it the way someone told me (what I could remember) and it seems simple enough but I still managed to burn the sandwich completely. T_T


The secret is low heat man, low heat!!!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ekardy said:


> If I must admit this to the whole world:
> 
> I didn't grow up eating grilled cheese sandwiches, didn't know what they were and didn't try them until I was in high school.
> So when I tried making my own, I used to toast them in the toaster, then put the slice of cheese in between and put the sandwich in the microwave. :serious:
> Today, I tried doing it the way someone told me (what I could remember) and it seems simple enough but I still managed to burn the sandwich completely. T_T


:squeeze Come on over, I'll teach you how, lol.


----------



## funnynihilist

my elbow feels chaffed


----------



## Ekardy

twytarn said:


> :squeeze Come on over, I'll teach you how, lol.


Grilled cheese party!


----------



## rockyraccoon

Ekardy said:


> If I must admit this to the whole world:
> 
> I didn't grow up eating grilled cheese sandwiches, didn't know what they were and didn't try them until I was in high school.
> So when I tried making my own, I used to toast them in the toaster, then put the slice of cheese in between and put the sandwich in the microwave. :serious:
> Today, I tried doing it the way someone told me (what I could remember) and it seems simple enough but I still managed to burn the sandwich completely. T_T


They are really easy to make. This is how my mom made them for me, really simple and delicious. She took two slices of bread and spread butter on the outsides of them then put the cheese in between them (with salsa) then put them on the pan like a sandwich on low heat. You just wait and watch the cheese melt, but not too much, and wait for the butter to be a shade of brown. I used to dip them in ketchup. And never do it in the microwave or toaster. My mom did it on an old cast iron pan. Maybe this will work for you!


----------



## Ekardy

ANX1 said:


> Feels like I'm not going to get sandwiches at this rate.


Not from me at least. :lol
Unless you like it burnt.


----------



## funnynihilist

ANX1 said:


> Feels like I'm not going to get sandwiches at this rate.


no ANX, none of us is getting sandwhiches


----------



## Ekardy

funnynihilist said:


> no ANX, none of us is getting sandwhiches


If you give me a few days, I'll master it and you can get your fix of the cheesy goodness.



rockyraccoon said:


> They are really easy to make. This is how my mom made them for me, really simple and delicious. She took two slices of bread and spread butter on the outsides of them then put the cheese in between them (with salsa) then put them on the pan like a sandwich on low heat. You just wait and watch the cheese melt, but not too much, and wait for the butter to be a shade of brown. I used to dip them in ketchup. And never do it in the microwave or toaster. My mom did it on an old cast iron pan. Maybe this will work for you!


I think I forgot the butter (I did). I could have sworn somewhere I read they do mayo instead though.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ekardy said:


> If you give me a few days, I'll master it and you can get your fix of the cheesy goodness.
> 
> I think I forgot the butter (I did). I could have sworn somewhere I read they do mayo instead though.


Whaaaat, where? Bizarro world? Lol.


----------



## funnynihilist

No man, no mayo, that is nasty nasty!


you butter the outsides, then slip in your cheese. Sounding like a very adult sandwhich now haha


----------



## Ekardy

funnynihilist said:


> No man, no mayo, that is nasty nasty!
> 
> you butter the outsides, then slip in your cheese. Sounding like a very adult sandwhich now haha


This is a very seductive sandwich.

@twytarn I know I saw it somewhere with the mayo. :?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ekardy said:


> This is a very seductive sandwich.
> 
> @twytarn I know I saw it somewhere with the mayo. :?


Yeah, I just googled it, lol. I have never seen that before.

https://thecookful.com/butter-vs-mayo-grilled-cheese-taste-test/


----------



## rockyraccoon

funnynihilist said:


> No man, no mayo, that is nasty nasty!
> 
> you butter the outsides, then slip in your cheese. Sounding like a very adult sandwhich now haha


Yeah I have never heard of putting mayo on the outside before, it would mess things up.


----------



## rockyraccoon

Neo said:


> Out on a pub crawl with my mate , so very very drunk


I will eagerly look forward to the "**** the official drinking thread". Maybe you will sneak in a story!


----------



## Ekardy

twytarn said:


> Yeah, I just googled it, lol. I have never seen that before.


I used to think mayo was the traditional way which I did think was weird so I still stuck with my toaster and microwave ways lol, but today I did forget butter or mayo altogether T_T. 
I will try again once I get more groceries but if you hear of someone's house burning down in a cheesy hellfire...that was me.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Off kilter


----------



## Chris S W

Drunk, celebrating my 30th birthday.


----------



## 3stacks

Chris S W said:


> Drunk, celebrating my 30th birthday.


 Happy birthday!


----------



## Chris S W

3stacks said:


> Happy birthday!


Thanks. Although it was actually 5 or 6 days ago, lol.


----------



## 3stacks

Chris S W said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Happy birthday!
> 
> 
> 
> Thanks. Although it was actually 5 or 6 days ago, lol.
Click to expand...

 oh haha well in that case happy drinking then


----------



## The Linux Guy

Nervous, Lonely, Tired, Confused, and Worried.


----------



## Chris S W

3stacks said:


> oh haha well in that case happy drinking then


lol thanks, friend. Was a good night out.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Lonely, Horny, and frustrated with virtual box. And I feel like the reader doesn't care.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Still sore.


Maybe should go and see the doctor mate? Just to make sure?


----------



## Crisigv

I want to die


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Just a muscle injury (getting better with each day), but in critical area of the body (near bottom of rib cage on one side). Just hard to rest it enough to heal when got things to do.


Ow - that'd hurt mate. Hope it heals up soon.


----------



## Vivian Darkbloom

In a lot of pain


----------



## kelly9837

iâ€™m feeling really sad right now, i usually get like this at night it sucks


----------



## Suchness

Been sleeping like **** in the last few nights, been feeling sad too probably mostly because of the lack of sleep. There I said it.


----------



## Ekardy

Suchness said:


> Been sleeping like **** in the last few nights, been feeling sad too probably mostly because of the lack of sleep. There I said it.


----------



## SparklingWater

Curious and disappointed and relieved


----------



## Ekardy

Why can I not sleep?

And now all I want to do is watch Degrassi.


----------



## Suchness

Ekardy said:


> Why can I not sleep?
> 
> And now all I want to do is watch Degrassi.


Hush little baby, don't you cry
Suchii's gonna sing you a lullaby


----------



## Ekardy

Suchness said:


> Hush little baby, don't you cry
> Suchii's gonna sing you a lullaby


Well it would help if you got off the bed Suchii.
Shouldn't I be tucked in?


----------



## Suchness

Ekardy said:


> Well it would help if you got off the bed Suchii.
> Shouldn't I be tucked in?


Of course, allow me to move over.


----------



## harrison

Much better now - just had a nice Skype session with my son.


----------



## Ekardy

Suchness said:


> Of course, allow me to move over.


Oh my, what a gentleman you are Suchii.
Just make sure you turn off the lights.


----------



## Ekardy

harrison said:


> Much better now - just had a nice Skype session with my son.


That's always good!


----------



## harrison

Ekardy said:


> That's always good!


It was actually pretty crazy at first - sort of the basic cliche of ridiculous old parents trying to get Skype to work properly and everyone on camera. Once we got it worked out it was okay though. 

We've been a bit worried about him because we hadn't heard anything for a couple of days but he's okay - in Seoul with his boys now, so they'll all look after each other. Looks pretty cold there though, he's bought himself a big new hoody.


----------



## harrison

Ekardy said:


> That's always good!


Hope you and @Suchness can get some sleep btw.


----------



## harrison

ANX1 said:


> Awesome to hear mate.


Thanks mate - yes it was good to talk to him, he's a long way from home.


----------



## BeautyandRage

Frustrated, knowing people don’t give a **** to watch my kids grow up. Whether it’s asking about them, asking for a pic, making a phone call, FaceTime, anything. Smfh. Instead they just pretend we don’t exist, I won’t be letting these people back in my life. The saddest thing is, people who I haven’t talked to in 9 years ask more about my child than my “family members” or “friend”. That’s really sad. Tbh I feel like making this a fb post to call them out.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Stressed out. Unwell. Cursed. Hopeless.


----------



## Ekardy

harrison said:


> It was actually pretty crazy at first - sort of the basic cliche of ridiculous old parents trying to get Skype to work properly and everyone on camera. Once we got it worked out it was okay though.
> 
> We've been a bit worried about him because we hadn't heard anything for a couple of days but he's okay - in Seoul with his boys now, so they'll all look after each other. Looks pretty cold there though, he's bought himself a big new hoody.


Oh that's sweet Lol I can imagine the beginning with the whole skype thing. :b
But that's great you finally got to talk to him and see for yourself he's safe.



harrison said:


> Hope you and @Suchness can get some sleep btw.


:lol
I did manage to get 4 hours of sleep, just woke up, so that's a start. :squeeze Thank you.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Concern. 

After hearing about SAS Members stealing other Members' photos I have decided to clean up my posts. This incident caused me to be on "red alert." The last thing I want is for someone to use my thoughts, personal opinion or personal stuff against me. Even the smallest so-called not so personal stuff. Though we are all taking a risk by posting some of our photos and personal thoughts on the Internet who would want their stuff stolen or possibly used against them? It is not right. God don't like ugly. 

This is why I stay private.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I broke down earlier and it's been about 2 months I think since that last happened. How do I get rid of the pain on my own?


----------



## funnynihilist

my head hurt


----------



## Replicante

Frustrated


----------



## SparklingWater

hopeful, excited, content


----------



## PandaBearx

Like this wine is almost as biter as my mood.


----------



## Girlinterrupted333

Overwhelmed


----------



## Crisigv

chilly and full from dinner


----------



## 3stacks

My heart hurts (figuratively lol)


----------



## rockyraccoon




----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Stuffed up and miserable. I relapsed again today. Not good.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> I'm broken.
> No one wants me and anyone that could want me isn't thinking straight.
> I'm not worth it.
> I'm nothing.
> I just want to close my eyes and not open them up again.
> Please let them stay closed.


 Nonsense. 

Here is an e-hug from me to you::hug :squeeze



ANX1 said:


> Awww, mate.
> 
> Try to get some sleep. It usually helps to forget those bad days and feel better.


Thanks man.


----------



## Vip3r

Girlinterrupted333 said:


> Overwhelmed


:squeeze


----------



## SparklingWater

Frustrated and tired. I'm awake again at 3:30am. I want to be asleep from 10:30-11 to 6:30-7, a solid 8 hr window. Trying to get some routine into my life.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Tired of living like this. I can't stop avoiding things and I'm tired, so tired of the loneliness. I would feel a whole lot better if someone would come back and be good to me again. This pain must be doing physical damage to me because it's gone on far too long. I'm exhausted by grief and avoidant behavior.


----------



## 3stacks

3stacks said:


> Heartbroken. I thought me and this girl had something it's been like 4-5 months and she always says she's in love with me and then boom she's got a boyfriend. I suppose it was bound to happen, no one could actually want to be with me cause I'm so ugly and my personality is terrible so I was deluding myself even when she said she would. The worst part is that it takes me forever to get over these things and now all I can think about is her and how happy she made me and that I'll never find anyone that can compare to her again. I even tried to replace her but no one felt the same. They seemed like the perfect person to me with their humour etc. Ah this hurts so much and probably will for so long. Sorry this is long af just needed somewhere to vent lol.


 still this but x2 lol (yeah I qouted myself lol)


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> still this but x2 lol (yeah I qouted myself lol)


You're me when I was younger, and I'm still like it and old enough to be your father, but feel 12. **** me. lol


----------



## andy1984

dizzy


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> still this but x2 lol (yeah I qouted myself lol)
> 
> 
> 
> You're me when I was younger, and I'm still like it and old enough to be your father, but feel 12. **** me. lol
Click to expand...

 I think I'll always be like it lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Living dead girl.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> I think I'll always be like it lol


I hope not mate. I hope you find happiness while you're still young.


----------



## SparklingWater

angry


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel like "UGH."

I wrote a post here about me believing an old high school friend of mine's recent Youtube love poem was about me and how I had asked him in an email and then again on Facebook Messanger about how he came up with it. He haven't replied in 10 days due to him losing his phone.

Well he just replied today. FINALLY. Just that he claimed he sent me an email the other day while using his old phone. That's BULL. I didn't receive a thing. The messed up part about this is that he didn't even answer my question. He is either avoiding the question or he didn't receive my email. Even if he didn't my question is still on his Messanger inbox.

UGH. 
I give up. I'm not asking a third time.

_ Sent by a drunken Jaba the Hut using Tapatalk _


----------



## rockyraccoon

I'm not sure, my emotions have been up and down all day long.


----------



## Crisigv

My chest hurts so much when I cough.


----------



## TryingMara

Sleepy.


----------



## discopotato

Can't sleep as usual. If I could stop having nightmares and panic attacks that would be great


----------



## discopotato

Thanks :hug  me too


----------



## Girlinterrupted333

In too deep. Can’t swim


----------



## 58318

Desperate


----------



## SparklingWater

amused, tickled pink


----------



## SparklingWater

hopeful and desperate- if there is anything out there that has any interest at all about what happens on this rock in space and its inhabitants, and if there is _anything_ beyond complete indifference on its part, please let me be accepted.


----------



## funnynihilist

Kinda in a fog, which isn't good cause I have stuff to do


----------



## Ekardy

^ I read that as 'frog'.....poor frog.


----------



## riverbird

Kind of weird. The neighbor died today. I never met him but he took the garbage and recycling bins out to the curb for me when I was alone for two weeks recently so I appreciated him. Poor man.


----------



## Crisigv

Unworthy


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Okay-ish, playing an online video game tonight.



riverbird said:


> Kind of weird. The neighbor died today. I never met him but he took the garbage and recycling bins out to the curb for me when I was alone for two weeks recently so I appreciated him. Poor man.


Aww that is sad!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Unworthy


Nope. :hug


----------



## The Linux Guy

I'm not sure if I should post this here or not.

I'm feel suicidal. It seems like people look down on me, like my feelings and views don't matter. :crying:

I also feel stupid, insecure, not accepted, and unloved by anyone including God.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I_Exist said:


> I'm not sure if I should post this here or not.
> 
> I'm feel suicidal. It seems like people look down on me, like my feelings and views don't matter. :crying:
> 
> I also feel stupid, insecure, not accepted, and unloved by anyone including God.


I have had similar thoughts myself off-and-on. I hope this makes you feel better knowing that you are not alone. :rub


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Fed up


----------



## Vip3r

Girlinterrupted333 said:


> In too deep. Can't swim


Let me give you a hand. :grin2: :rub


----------



## Vip3r

Girlinterrupted333 said:


>


:smile2:

Feeling sleepy. I might take the day off. :yawn :hyper


----------



## Crisigv

Like a mess


----------



## SparklingWater

A little worried


----------



## 3stacks

Sad and lonely etc


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Still stressed out. Headache. Annoyed. Tired of human beings. Ugh.


----------



## Vip3r

Sleepy and lonely.


----------



## Ekardy

twytarn said:


> Still stressed out. Headache. Annoyed. Tired of human beings. Ugh.


Same.
:hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

twytarn said:


> Still stressed out. Headache. Annoyed. Tired of human beings. Ugh.


Aww!  :hug :squeeze



Vip3r said:


> Sleepy and lonely.


:rub

Try and get better sleep patterns, although I should probably take my own advice. :lol



3stacks said:


> Sad and lonely etc


Same. :rub


----------



## Vip3r

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub
> 
> Try and get better sleep patterns, although I should probably take my own advice. :lol


I am moving closer to where I work soon. I am looking forward to all the extra sleep I am going to get.


----------



## TryingMara

Very sleepy.


----------



## funnynihilist

Can tell that Christmas is coming. People are driving more like ****s and walking around looking like they are getting whipped up into the yearly pre-Christmas froth. Yawn....


----------



## Crisigv

So miserable it's not affecting me, haha.


----------



## funnynihilist

Crisigv said:


> So miserable it's not affecting me, haha.


You are gonna have to explain this one lol


----------



## Crisigv

funnynihilist said:


> You are gonna have to explain this one lol


Basically, I think I'm crazy.


----------



## AffinityWing

Tired and in despair...


----------



## Kalliber

Very tired due to cough syrup


----------



## SparklingWater

I'm so nervous. Please let today go well.


----------



## discopotato

Disappointed.


----------



## Ekardy

Tired and so cold.


----------



## EarthDominator

Too much thoughts and emotions, not enough words to describe them. I'm really losing it and could use some help.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Tired. I wish I had more energy, more to get excited about.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Kind of numb again.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A little nervous but feeling good about getting 35 hours of work next week.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I'm just glad this week is finally over. I really need a break!


----------



## TryingMara

Frustrated and stressed.


----------



## fluorish

Idk if quitting anti depressants was like the best move. It was a very hard first week of extreme dizziness cause I quit cold turkey, which was conclusive to bad fights with my bf which Was the worst timing. Anyway
After that I was still a little overly sensitive, but felt some sort of Euthoria with my self confidence. 
It’s been probably over a month now and things are spiraling a little, I feel like my self esteem is down in the dumps. And so is my motivation. I haven’t gone to the psychologist cause I owe him a hundred dollars. I have very little interest in holding any conversations or talking. I feel like when I do try to talk people interrupt me or talk over me and I lose all willingness, to keep trying. Or I’m finding things easily offensive. 
I feel stuck in my mind. And after writing this feel like it’s a good idea to start a journal again. I know iv been down this route before of quiting anti depressants like months to years later. But I just really don’t like the idea of being stuck on pills that mentally change you. Especially cause I feel like once I change my environment things will look a lot more up for me.


----------



## nosystemd

probably my least favourite question. dont get me wrong, the thread is no problem-- i could easily just not click on it. i only posted in the event that its anybody elses least favourite question.

you can often tell how im feeling without asking-- a more indirect question is fine too.

as to why, there are a few reasons, that i wont go into.


----------



## Vip3r

Tired. I didn't sleep well.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm scared


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Starving. Better go and eat something.


----------



## nosystemd

very silly, after replying to page 1.

(congrats to president-elect carter.)


----------



## riverbird

Super drunk.


----------



## funnynihilist

riverbird said:


> Super drunk.


Finally some action around this place! :grin2:


----------



## AffinityWing

Meh


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh x2


----------



## riverbird

funnynihilist said:


> Finally some action around this place! :grin2:


Hehe


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kind of sad and lonely but trying to feel better. :/

I ate some jalapeno flavored beef jerky I got from Walmart. It was worth the price and cheap compared to most beef jerky. Then, I ate some dark chocolate. It was the perfect sweet and salty combo. It made me feel a little better but not much.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Kind of sad and lonely but trying to feel better. :/
> 
> I ate some jalapeno flavored beef jerky I got from Walmart. It was worth the price and cheap compared to most beef jerky. Then, I ate some dark chocolate. It was the perfect sweet and salty combo. It made me feel a little better but not much.


 That Walmart beef jerky scares me a little bit because you're right. It's MUCH cheaper than what you get almost anywhere else when you buy beef jerky. The same size package anywhere else is usually at least 5 bucks. Not sure what I'm eating when I buy it but it tastes good so.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

A slave to so many things. I wish I could go back to this time in 2016.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> That Walmart beef jerky scares me a little bit because you're right. It's MUCH cheaper than what you get almost anywhere else when you buy beef jerky. The same size package anywhere else is usually at least 5 bucks. Not sure what I'm eating when I buy it but it tastes good so.


Yea, it is. Or I guess I should say less expensive. Haha. It's gotten so expensive in like the last four months. It's crazy. The kind I got yesterday took me like 10 minutes to eat and satisfied me, so it was worth the price. The kind I got said it has 11 grams of protein. :stu

Feeling a bit paranoid about my produce manager. :/ I asked her for a ride the last two times and she said she couldn't take me. And a couple days ago, it rained earlier that day and looked like it was about to rain when I was like half way to work. Don't know what's going on. Maybe it's nothing.


----------



## SparklingWater

Scared


----------



## Vip3r

A mix of numbness, content and motivation today. Kind of an odd feeling but better than feeling depressed.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I'm ticked off. 
I can't delete a post I had posted>: (
This new Internet browser APP I had downloaded is great. Just that the desktop view of SAS won't fully show. When I click edit post and click the delete post option the APP cut off the button I need to click on in order to delete. This is not a SAS problem but my new APP problem.

I might as well just enable Chrome, sign into SAS and delete the post that way. Yes this is what I will do.

_ Rejected by Tapatalk_


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lonely as hell and depressed.


----------



## SuperSky

Alone.


----------



## PandaBearx

A bit sick without actually being phsycially sick, I think I'm just so run down from work, birthdays, and Christmas, on top of other life stressors, that I've gotten to the point where I'm so physically drained. I feel ill. I had a massive migraine yesterday, was sore, and my voice felt groggy, I napped majority of the day. Yet I didn't have a fever, or a cold. Really hope I don't end up getting sick this week.


----------



## CNikki

Patient. Maybe a little bit too patient.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Tired. I need to catch up on like 4 hours of sleep when I get home. :/


----------



## 3stacks

Crap


----------



## copper

Feel like I am coming down with the crud. Very tired, slightly congested, headache, throat feels funny. Been hearing lots of deep hacking coughs in the group homes. I wish I could stay out of those homes in the winter, but it is part of my job.


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling pretty good, my buddy always gets me smiling.










He is such a dork, but I love him just the same.


----------



## Vip3r

I am feeling good today. A little sleepy but content.


----------



## funnynihilist

Trying to get my brain to accept my fate but it just won't


----------



## exceptionalfool

I feel like everything I try to do entails a steep learning curve of trial, error and injury. 

I tend to be one of these over-eager people who, for whatever stupid reason, skips reading advisories and directions. 

Ow. That is the price I pay for that.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Lonely as hell. Ba humbug.


----------



## komorikun

clean


----------



## CNikki

Dissociated. I don’t want to be here anymore.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Dissociated. I don't want to be here anymore.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Stupid


----------



## Ekardy

This question....I don’t know.


----------



## Gamgee

I feel so sad.
The past few weeks, I've been in a very good mood. Life felt great.
Then it came crashing down on me. And now I'm sad. I've been crying on and off the past few days and while I woke up feeling better today, I now feel sad again.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely.

Trapped.


----------



## 3stacks

Depressed


----------



## wmu'14

I am doing well right now, thank you for asking. And you? Como estas?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

twytarn said:


> Lonely.
> 
> Trapped.


 :hug :squeeze



3stacks said:


> Depressed


 :rub


----------



## The Linux Guy

Currently I feel extremely sad. I'm in so much internal pain again that I feel like I'm a mistake. Like my life just doesn't matter.


----------



## riverbird

Sad and confused.


----------



## wmu'14

riverbird said:


> Sad and confused.


Aww. how come?


----------



## Mr Grey

I feel very depressed. Five years ago I met a wonderful woman right here on this site. We moved together and married 3 years ago. I messed up, didn't payed enough attention. She left. It was bad. She said she needs time. I'm gonna try my best to respect her wishes and leave her alone. I love her with all my heart. You don't know what you got till it's gone. OMG this hurts.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mr Grey said:


> I feel very depressed. Five years ago I met a wonderful woman right here on this site. We moved together and married 3 years ago. I messed up, didn't payed enough attention. She left. It was bad. She said she needs time. I'm gonna try my best to respect her wishes and leave her alone. I love her with all my heart. You don't know what you got till it's gone. OMG this hurts.


 :rub


----------



## harrison

Much better now thank you - thanks to Mother's little helper.


----------



## Urban Recluse

Curious.~


----------



## Fun Spirit

Puzzled. 
I'm trying to figure why I can't find the notification sound option for Taptalk APP. There use to be one. I had a Frog sound. Now that I reinstall the APP the option is nowhere to be found. I double check so many times thinking "Maybe I am not looking carefully?" This is a head scratcher right here. lol

Can someone Quote me? I want to see if my phone goes off.

_ Sent from Willy Wonka's Factory using an Oompa Loompa's Tapatalk_


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Fun Spirit said:


> Puzzled.
> I'm trying to figure why I can't find the notification sound option for Taptalk APP. There use to be one. I had a Frog sound. Now that I reinstall the APP the option is nowhere to be found. I double check so many times thinking "Maybe I am not looking carefully?" This is a head scratcher right here. lol
> 
> Can someone Quote me? I want to see if my phone goes off.
> 
> _ Sent from Willy Wonka's Factory using an Oompa Loompa's Tapatalk_


Sure.


----------



## EarthDominator

Sad, just heard my neighbour (who is a really good friend) has been diagnosed with cancer, and treatment won't work. So, basically waiting till he dies now. :/


----------



## Fun Spirit

^ I am sorry to hear that Earth: (



twytarn said:


> Sure.


Thank You: )
My phone went off but it was Curly from the Three Stooges "Woo Woo Woo" notification. {My default phone notification.} I'm starting to believe that the APP took away the feature because you were able to change your sound through the APP. I'm tired of looking for it for the thousandth time.

Mystery unsolved.
Button gone.

_ Sent from Willy Wonka's Factory using an Oompa Loompa's Tapatalk_


----------



## CNikki

Very annoyed to say the least.


----------



## SparklingWater

little sad


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling crappy only because I'm thinking about wanting a relationship more. :/

I don't want to go back to being like this.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****. I have to do three meets this weekend but I'll just come away wondering why I bothered because as soon as they're over I'm back at square one.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feeling crappy only because I'm thinking about wanting a relationship more. :/
> 
> I don't want to go back to being like this.


:rub

It's a horrible feeling that's haunted and pestered me my whole life.


----------



## harrison

Sort of out of it. And I haven't taken anything - except my bipolar medication which is less than half what I used to take. So weird.


----------



## Lostintheshuffle

I feel like I've hit a wall and just need a break from everything in life. I wish I could pack a bag, get on a plane and gtfo of here. *sigh* really bad day today.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Pete Beale said:


> :rub
> 
> It's a horrible feeling that's haunted and pestered me my whole life.


:frown2: It is a bad feeling.


----------



## Deaf Mute

I'm scared of people, but I need money. I hate having to struggle, nothing is easy :blank.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm so lost and tired. I don't want to try anymore.


----------



## SparklingWater

contemplative, hopeful, tired


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Emotionless and numb... I should just get drunk or something.


----------



## AffinityWing

Stuck. I keep wondering if I'll ever really pull myself out of this growing problem, no matter what I do...


----------



## Suchness

Better than yesterday, man that was rough. The ups and downs are crazy.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

um, weird to say the least.
Surreal would be closer, I guess, but i'm not picky when it comes to my speech.
Finally back on SAS after months of disappearing, 20 pounds lighter, changes to my life ect.
Single, she wasn't the right one so I am glad it's over.


----------



## Vip3r

Exhausted by the crowds of people Christmas shopping today but content now.


----------



## discopotato

Tired. A kind of tired that sleep can't fix


----------



## blue2

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Emotionless and numb... I should just get drunk or something.


...That would be sooo irresponsible : /


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

blue2 said:


> ...That would be sooo irresponsible : /


Meh, you only live once.


----------



## blue2

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Meh, you only live once.


...Yeah I was joking I'm drunk right now : /


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

blue2 said:


> ...Yeah I was joking I'm drunk right now : /


lol no worries then


----------



## 0589471

like a huge burden


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> like a huge burden


:hug:squeeze


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Dragging myself to a Christmas meet when I feel like complete ****. Lovely. :/


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> Dragging myself to a Christmas meet when I feel like complete ****. Lovely. :/


You should go - better than being on your own. Merry Christmas anyway mate.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I thought about getting a hotel room and having a night in the city post meet, but I'd just be miserable as **** on my own, seeing everyone happy with friends and partners, and it'll be a waste of money. May as well just come home back to this ****.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

harrison said:


> You should go - better than being on your own. Merry Christmas anyway mate.


Thanks mate. Merry christmas to you too!

I'm going but I just hate coming back to my default state afterwards. It's just a short temporary break from it all then I'm back inside my head.


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> Thanks mate. Merry christmas to you too!
> 
> I'm going but I just hate coming back to my default state afterwards. It's just a short temporary break from it all then I'm back inside my head.


Yeah, I know what you mean - but you never know your luck in a big city mate, might meet someone nice.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

harrison said:


> Yeah, I know what you mean - but you never know your luck in a big city mate, might meet someone nice.


That would be a genuine christmas miracle. :O I'm preparing for a pigs in blankest fest (coz it's christmas) with this meet tbh mate.


----------



## copper

Vip3r said:


> Exhausted by the crowds of people Christmas shopping today but content now.


Freakin Walmart was already filling up at 7 am. I seen a few people with carts full. I feel sorry for them since they had no checkers to check. I had to use the self check but I only had 4 cartons of almond milk. The Manager there is trying to get people to use the self check. They are fine for a few items but not for carts full to the top.


----------



## Vip3r

copper said:


> Freakin Walmart was already filling up at 7 am. I seen a few people with carts full. I feel sorry for them since they had no checkers to check. I had to use the self check but I only had 4 cartons of almond milk. The Manager there is trying to get people to use the self check. They are fine for a few items but not for carts full to the top.


I am so glad I don't have to go back out today. It is madness.


----------



## SparklingWater

curious


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> That would be a genuine christmas miracle. :O *I'm preparing for a pigs in blankest fest (coz it's christmas) with this meet tbh mate.*


If it wasn't for Jamie Oliver the other night I wouldn't know what that meant. 

One of the guys commented on it being a sausage fest at one of the barbecue's we had one time and I just thought it was because I'd only brought sausages.

Sometimes I'm a bit slow. :roll


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

:crying:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando




----------



## Crisigv

Feeling like a complete failure


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Feeling like a complete failure


Failure is the way people learn. Even the most successful people out there have failed at one time or another and learnt from it.


----------



## funnynihilist

Bloated


----------



## riverbird

Super anxious. I can’t stop pacing back and forth, when I sit/stand still it gets worse. Ugh.


----------



## Ekardy

Went to Walmart a few hours ago...O_O
People actually arguing and verbally fighting for the last of a certain toy or the last something, etc etc.

Kind of freaked me out and I just left, was not worth getting a black eye from someone pulling on a toy against someone else.


----------



## funnynihilist

Ekardy said:


> Went to Walmart a few hours ago...O_O
> People actually arguing and verbally fighting for the last of a certain toy or the last something, etc etc.
> 
> Kind of freaked me out and I just left, was not worth getting a black eye from someone pulling on a toy against someone else.


Yep, pre-christmas tends to bring out the worst in people. Kinda ironic since it's supposed to be a holiday of togetherness. 
The check out lady at Target the other day told me that people were getting really rude and a woman I know who works at Walmart told me that people were yelling at her.


----------



## Vip3r

I feel like I got run over by a reindeer.


----------



## SparklingWater

surprised


----------



## SplendidBob

So creeped out. Not 100% sure why.

I have issues that ****ing seriously need work.

Wtb normality in one ****ing aspect of life.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Drained.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

komorikun said:


> Why are the neighbors vacuuming again!? They sure do love vacuuming. Isn't once a week enough? I only do it once every 3 weeks.


 My dad used to be obsessed with it. I think the only reason he doesn't do it as often now is because he's paranoid about the vacuum cleaner interfering with his pacemaker (which is probably almost impossible but he's got it in his head somehow). But he still goes berserk with the vacuum cleaner when he does vacuum and spends like 3 hours doing it. Even uses the hose to go into tedious detail vacuuming anything that could possibly collect dust until he wears himself out. I'm surprised the carpet still exists. I bet he's taken at least half an inch off of it.

I've had to replace parts on the Dyson vacuum that should never wear out. First of all, he has just used the absolute and complete hell out of the thing. Secondly, when he puts the handle back up for turning it off (which he does like 20 to 30 times every single solitary time he vacuums) he keeps wrenching on it even after it clicks until he twists the entire base of the vacuum and causes an air bypass between the filter and the filter housing, which causes a terrible squealing noise that sounds like it's dying. He never seems to realize this is a bad sound and a vacuum cleaner should never make this sound unless you're doing something to it that's wrong.

I had to order the part that the filter rests on because he had done that so many times that the surface was permanently warped and the gasket wouldn't seal, causing the vacuum to make a godawful screaming whistle the whole time it was on. This is a part which probably almost no one ever has to replace. I'm actually surprised you can even order it. He did ask what happened to it and I explained it to him in detail and he said OK but I can still hear it in there screeching and whistling when he starts yanking on the handle before he turns it off. :lol


----------



## Slacker

I feel... stale.

I wish I was more outwardly emotional sometimes. I see posts where people pour it out but I can't.

It's not that I don't feel it but expressing it is like... I'd rather lose a pinky. And I hate that.


----------



## Ekardy

Stuffed. Nochebuena kicked my ***.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Uniman said:


> Failure is the way people learn. Even the most successful people out there have failed at one time or another and learnt from it.


Agreed.


----------



## Zatch

Relieved. I had been very sad for Christmas until my one Christmas wish came true. A lovely turn of events.


----------



## coeur_brise

Strangely empathetic yet still stressed. I wonder if everyone had a break this Christmas. Its kind of but not really about Jesus because the nation and this generation is experiencing a shift. Rough. Anyway, back to the grind tomorrow and on that note, feeling like a masochist. As if I tried biking with one pedal. Socially exhausted, recharging my internal lithium ion battery. Feels good. Still ugh about tomorrow. So... feeling everything? Yes.


----------



## Ekardy

Went from a euphoric sense of being to a general sense of dysphoria.

:dead


----------



## funnynihilist

Nausea and acid reflux but waaaaay too lazy to get out of bed for a Rolaids


----------



## Deaf Mute

I want to be niche or different somehow, in a good way, inimitable, but everything I am is rubbish and cheap. :crying:


----------



## SparklingWater

angry, disillusioned


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Went from a euphoric sense of being to a general sense of dysphoria.
> 
> :dead


Same. :hug


----------



## harrison

I feel fine - apart from a slight migraine of course. And the fact that I'm about to walk out into an oven to go and get a few groceries.


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Same. :hug


:squeeze I'm sorry you feel the same.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> :squeeze I'm sorry you feel the same.


I should pass by tomorrow after a good night sleep. :squeeze


----------



## Neddy123

Melancholic


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Like a busy bee.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

Tired but pretty ok.


----------



## Crisigv

Very tired all of a sudden. I hope I can sleep a little longer than last night.


----------



## Vip3r

Emotional and useless.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Vip3r said:


> Emotional and useless.


 :rub


----------



## Vip3r

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub


Thanks man :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am missing someone... :sigh 



Vip3r said:


> Thanks man :squeeze


No worries! :high5


----------



## riverbird

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am missing someone... :sigh


Ditto. It sucks.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

riverbird said:


> Ditto. It sucks.


Aww! :hug:squeeze

I wished her a merry Christmas on Facebook and she did the same to me, so there is that at least.


----------



## Deaf Mute

I just need to be able to do this one this perfectly and then it would open up so many doors... Also, depression is hitting me like a truck lately and anxious for this weekend to pass again. :blank






Also, wish there was something I liked about myself.. or that I cared about nothing at all and had no passions or dreams but I can't. I have so many aspirations and passions and hate everything about myself. :serious:


----------



## Blue Dino

harrison said:


> I'm about to walk out into an oven


I'm stupid, but is that a metaphor for extremely hot weather?


----------



## evolutionpsychology

I'm stressed out. Because I can't make enough money.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Moody. :bah


----------



## SparklingWater

down in the dumps


----------



## funnynihilist

Blech


----------



## harrison

Blue Dino said:


> I'm stupid, but is that a metaphor for extremely hot weather?


Yep, pretty hot here the last day or so. About 36 or so again today too apparently. 

(and you're definitely not stupid)


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

twytarn said:


> Moody. :bah


:hug:squeeze



SparklingWater said:


> down in the dumps


:hug:squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lots to do in the heat. 

Fun times ahead.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yep, pretty hot here the last day or so. About 36 or so again today too apparently.
> 
> (and you're definitely not stupid)


Wow.

They said something like 38 degrees C at the cricket game. I think was Australia vs India.


----------



## Cili

I come on here to steal your music. and for that im forever grateful. words cant explain. id like yo leave some music for you too. 

much love!


----------



## Chris S W

Found out today my co-worker who, most likely because of me, tried to kill himself has recovered, against the odds, so I'm relieved. But I've probably ruined his life so I'm still guilty.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Overwhelmed. I justed watched a "Puppy Surprised Reaction" YouTube video. The first video was nice but the second video messed me up. It just came over me.....seeing those kids coming down the stairs, the boys shirtless as they were still in their PJs. They saw the dog and kids started screaming screams of joy. Tears just started pouring down my face like an ocean. I had to click off the video. It was too much for me to bear. This has never happened to me. It was as if I had no control over the feeling that came over me. It may sound silly, crying over such a thing. I just know that it isn't silly to me because I wish I had a dog. I never had one before. I would be so happy if I had one. I'm an extremely sensitive person so this is why I feel and had responded unexpectedly the way that I did. The video darn there broke my heart. The greater the sorrow the greater the joy. I SWEAR one day I will have a dog. A male Border Collie. His name shall be Kaizer and he will be a good dog. One of the finest dog around.

That'll be the LAST time I watch these kind of videos. The LAST time.

_Sent from Daft Punk who is playing at my house using Tapatalk_


----------



## andy1984

Chris S W said:


> Found out today my co-worker who, most likely because of me, tried to kill himself has recovered, against the odds, so I'm relieved. But I've probably ruined his life so I'm still guilty.


i shouldn't ask but i am asking... why most likely because of you? that sounds unlikely.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling kinda bad about saying no to people that offer me rides walking to work but I have to do it. Never know about some people. I don't care if they're old or not, have a child with them, or what. I'm still going to say no. I appreciate the offers but I will never risk it unless it's someone from work giving me a ride or someone I know. I've had a few people say they're not going to hurt me but I still say no. Haha. I was told not to get a ride from anyone period. But that's common sense.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Better to be safe than sorry.


----------



## andy1984

Fun Spirit said:


> Overwhelmed. I justed watched a "Puppy Surprised Reaction" YouTube video. The first video was nice but the second video messed me up. It just came over me.....seeing those kids coming down the stairs, the boys shirtless as they were still in their PJs. They saw the dog and kids started screaming screams of joy. Tears just started pouring down my face like an ocean. I had to click off the video. It was too much for me to bear. This has never happened to me. It was as if I had no control over the feeling that came over me. It may sound silly, crying over such a thing. I just know that it isn't silly to me because I wish I had a dog. I never had one before. I would be so happy if I had one. I'm an extremely sensitive person so this is why I feel and had responded unexpectedly the way that I did. The video darn there broke my heart. The greater the sorrow the greater the joy. I SWEAR one day I will have a dog. A male Border Collie. His name shall be Kaizer and he will be a good dog. One of the finest dog around.
> 
> That'll be the LAST time I watch these kind of videos. The LAST time.
> 
> _Sent from Daft Punk who is playing at my house using Tapatalk_


aw they're so emotional


----------



## CNikki

Trying not to be anxious.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> Better to be safe than sorry.


I tell them I appreciate the offer and I'm sure they understand.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I tell them I appreciate the offer and I'm sure they understand.


I thinking that they would be ok with that response.


----------



## Suchness

A part of me has been feeling dead and defeated for a long time.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Suchness said:


> A part of me has been feeling dead and defeated for a long time.


Sometimes happens when not moving forward in life.

Feel better once start getting things done, positive results to move forward in life.


----------



## Suchness

Uniman said:


> Sometimes happens when not moving forward in life.
> 
> Feel better once start getting things done, positive results to move forward in life.


Yeah, I'm working on it. Just need to stay patient.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Suchness said:


> Yeah, I'm working on it. Just need to stay patient.


You can get it done mate. Have faith in yourself, your abilities. Stay strong.


----------



## Suchness

Uniman said:


> You can get it done mate. Have faith in yourself, your abilities. Stay strong.


Thanks. I will.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Suchness said:


> Thanks. I will.


You're welcome mate.


----------



## SparklingWater

Sad, but liberated. Pleased something else worked out in my favor.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired. But done.


----------



## SparklingWater

I'm angry as hell and it's kind of nice. I remember when I was one of those "sweet" pple who didn't get angry. How fake I was. How scared I was. I'm angry at everything nowadays. So. much. journaling lol.


----------



## SparklingWater

Super embarrassed. I just did it again with the professional email ****up. My brain is so scattered nowadays it's a wonder I can put 2 words together. Def gonna move forward with the ADHD meds after I'm done with the study. This **** is crazy.


----------



## Chris S W

andy1984 said:


> i shouldn't ask but i am asking... why most likely because of you? that sounds unlikely.


Firstly. I said something to him a few years ago which was words of doom and gloom for the present and future of working in our job and kind of working life in general. Just unnecessary depressing stuff which could influence his young mind in a negative way. In a way that could influence him more towards seeing his existence as depressing, boring, pointless, and hopeless, and might encourage more risky behaviour.
And not long after he stopped working with us for a long while. (This on it's own wouldn't mean much.)

Secondly (and most importantly). After a couple of years (last year) I saw him again at a Christmas do. I saw what he had gotten into and knew the potential danger he was in as I had experienced the consequences of it. The same thing he was into had ruined my life. But instead of discouraging him from this path I encouraged him to proceed. So I practically dragged him to hell with me.

He started working with us again later this year. Shortly before he tried to kill himself I greeted him in passing but he didn't say anything and had a familiar dead man's look on his face. I wasn't very shocked to find out he was dying in hospital after overdosing twice, because I knew all year what could happen to him. Although I didn't know he was going to try and kill himself, I knew he could end up in a state that would make him want to die. I did nothing to help prevent what I knew could happen.

It could be a coincidence but I very much doubt it. I not only didn't help him when I had the knowledge and power to do so, I also poisoned him with my words.


----------



## Ekardy

I feel so blah.
Not good, not bad, just blah.


----------



## Suchness

Ekardy said:


> I feel so blah.
> Not good, not bad, just blah.


Blah, blah?


----------



## funnynihilist

Tired and cranky


----------



## Ekardy

Suchness said:


> Blah, blah?


Blah blahblah blah.


----------



## Suchness

Ekardy said:


> Blah blahblah blah.


Yeah but, how you ever felt like this?


----------



## Ekardy

Suchness said:


> Yeah but, how you ever felt like this?


Lmao, no, can't say that I have.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kinda sad.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Kinda sad.


Sorry to hear.

Hopefully some sleep will help.


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

copper said:


> Freakin Walmart was already filling up at 7 am. I seen a few people with carts full. I feel sorry for them since they had no checkers to check. I had to use the self check but I only had 4 cartons of almond milk. The Manager there is trying to get people to use the self check. They are fine for a few items but not for carts full to the top.


That's interesting. Most supermarkets here would have self-checkouts now (some other kinds of shop have them as well), but AFAIK even in a really large store, they are only for baskets. You would probably _never_ see anyone with a trolley (full or not) using the self ones, there just wouldn't be enough space for it. I only went to a supermarket when it was extremely quiet (shortly before closing at 10pm) this Christmas, but here too it can be really horrid and crowded, apparently.


----------



## rockyraccoon

BleedingHearts said:


> You were always there for me. My best friend. R.I.P


Sorry to hear of your loss buddy.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

BleedingHearts said:


> You were always there for me. My best friend. R.I.P


Sorry to hear mate. R.I.P.


----------



## Ekardy

BleedingHearts said:


> You were always there for me. My best friend. R.I.P


I'm so sorry for your loss.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

BleedingHearts said:


> Thank you, guys. Really appreciate that.


You're welcome mate.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> Sorry to hear.
> 
> Hopefully some sleep will help.


Thank you. :smile2:

I'm going to sleep in less than a couple hours.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thank you. :smile2:
> 
> I'm going to sleep in less than a couple hours.


You're welcome.

Wish you a good nights sleep.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

BleedingHearts said:


> You were always there for me. My best friend. R.I.P


I am so sorry.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Empty.


----------



## harrison

LydeaCharlotte said:


> That's interesting. Most supermarkets here would have self-checkouts now (some other kinds of shop have them as well), but AFAIK even in a really large store, *they are only for baskets*. You would probably _never_ see anyone with a trolley (full or not) using the self ones, there just wouldn't be enough space for it. I only went to a supermarket when it was extremely quiet (shortly before closing at 10pm) this Christmas, but here too it can be really horrid and crowded, apparently.


That's funny - I think here we can take our trolleys into the self-checkout area. I do that quite a lot - they have huge big areas now for them. I'm trying to think if I've ever seen anyone else do it but I can't remember.

Sometimes I go to the check-out that has someone doing it for me but that's only if there's one with no-one waiting and if I'm in the mood for a bit of a chat. (in other words slightly manic or high, can be a bit embarassing when I'm like that as I literally want to talk to everyone)


----------



## Suchness

Like I can do it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Suchness said:


> Like I can do it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.


----------



## Ekardy

Uniman said:


>


:lol I was looking for this to quote with too!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> :lol I was looking for this to quote with too!


Ok, @Suchness

Kardy takes credit for this one. :b


----------



## Ekardy

Uniman said:


> Ok, @Suchness
> 
> Kardy takes credit for this one. :b


Lol no :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Lol no :squeeze


Yes, because @Suchness now knows you have.  :b


----------



## CNikki

Like what little energy I generally have has been sucked out of me. Iron levels being low doesn’t help the case.


----------



## Suchness

@Uniman @Ekardy, let's use our imagination and imagine that we're standing in a circle holding hands and saying out loud "We can doooo it!"


----------



## Ekardy

Suchness said:


> @Uniman @Ekardy, let's use our imagination and imagine that we're standing in a circle holding hands and saying out loud "We can doooo it!"


Now that would interesting, Groot and Goku.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Suchness said:


> @Uniman @Ekardy, let's use our imagination and imagine that we're standing in a circle holding hands and saying out loud "We can doooo it!"


Cough, cough, this -

:group



Ekardy said:


> Now that would interesting, Groot and Goku.


G mate's, yo.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Like a POS, my family makes me want to kill myself every single ****ing day. Pray I survive today's onslaught... I don't want to ****ing exist.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Been kind of mad at my seafood manager all day cause I woke up close to 12 p.m. She called me after 9 a.m. So, I called her not long after I woke up. She was mad cause I did one thing wrong. I just told her I'm sorry two times. I could tell she didn't like it too much. 

Would've been nice to leave a list instead of having to call her when I'm working everytime I have a question. It's a bit inconvenient. Most of the time, I don't need to ask her questions anyways. Tried calling her yesterday but she didn't pick up. I told her before I wanted her to leave a list for me for things I need to do. Guess she forgot. Sometimes, she's at work whenever I get back there and sometimes she isn't. At least, some days she can tell me in person. Just kinda bummed cause she got mad. I sounded a bit mad on the phone, too.


----------



## SunshineSam218

I'm feeling very frustrated right now. It's so hot inside our house. My windows is open and the fan is on blast.

Feeling edgy and irritated. I hate how my side gets no proper AC or anything. It's winter even.

I'm sort of wishing it gets colder during the week, I can't take this heat anymore. It's annoying me.....


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Sorry to hear.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> Sorry to hear.


It's fine. I apologized and she didn't seem as mad after that but she didn't say hey to me at work today. I said hey to her then she said hey nicely. I put something in the freezer that wasn't supposed to go in there. It was supposed to go in the cooler. I made an oopsie. :stu


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> It's fine. I apologized and she didn't seem as mad after that but she didn't say hey to me at work today. I said hey to her then she said hey nicely. I put something in the freezer that wasn't supposed to go in there. It was supposed to go in the cooler. I made an oopsie. :stu


Mistakes happen, just learn from them.


----------



## riverbird

Overwhelmed. Very overwhelmed.


----------



## Citrine79

Cranky and miserable...have a family gathering today and I always feel awkward at them because I never have any accomplishments or good news to share. And my uncle’s wife is high maintenance and you have to be careful what you say to her as she can fly off the handle at the simplest of remarks.

Winter is damp and very gray, the news has been super depressing lately and it has really got me down.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> Mistakes happen, just learn from them.


Exactly. They're going to happen. I know this one guy that worked with me and he would walk slow and work slow. My managers never said anything to him from what I know. They like to take advantage of the hard workers I guess. Or I could just see it in a positive way that they're getting on to me cause they want me to keep my job since I do work hard.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Exactly. They're going to happen. I know this one guy that worked with me and he would walk slow and work slow. My managers never said anything to him from what I know. They like to take advantage of the hard workers I guess. Or I could just see it in a positive way that they're getting on to me cause they want me to keep my job since I do work hard.


You are human, so mistakes are going to happen.

I'm thinking they just want everything to be right.

Once they see a mistake, it is their job to make sure it doesn't happen again, hence théir behaviour (happens with many jobs līke that).

Sometimes have to be hard to be kind.

In a supermarket or similar, everything being in right place makes a difference.

Maybe because he goes slow, doesn't make mistakes. No mistakes, so nothing to complain about?

In addition, don't get as tired at the end of the day.

Maybe for a day try his way and see what happens?

Just a suggestion.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling like I don't deserve my own life, more and more lately.


----------



## riverbird

Pretty excited, for the first time in a while. I bought a metal stamping jewelry kit the other day and I just used it for the first time. My first attempt is awful but it was so fun to make! Using a hammer is a good way to get out some anger. :lol I think I’m going to love getting more into this art.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Feeling like I don't deserve my own life, more and more lately.


:hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> You are human, so mistakes are going to happen.
> 
> I'm thinking they just want everything to be right.
> 
> Once they see a mistake, it is their job to make sure it doesn't happen again, hence théir behaviour (happens with many jobs līke that).
> 
> Sometimes have to be hard to be kind.
> 
> In a supermarket or similar, everything being in right place makes a difference.
> 
> Maybe because he goes slow, doesn't make mistakes. No mistakes, so nothing to complain about?
> 
> In addition, don't get as tired at the end of the day.
> 
> Maybe for a day try his way and see what happens?
> 
> Just a suggestion.


I'm pretty sure if I worked slow, I'd get in trouble. Cause I worked slow before and got in trouble. You're not supposed to work slow where I work. And he was lazy. He would get to work late and not do major things he was supposed to, which wasn't right. My produce manager told me about him not working, though so she might not have gotten on to him but she told me how he doesn't do things before. It happens. There's places where people will work slow to not do their work. Never understood why he got the job if he didn't want to do his work. Haha. I mean, he wasn't mean to me or anything. He just didn't want to work.

And another guy that worked with me would go off talking more than you should at work. He quit in July.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm pretty sure if I worked slow, I'd get in trouble. Cause I worked slow before and got in trouble. You're not supposed to work slow where I work. And he was lazy. He would get to work late and not do major things he was supposed to, which wasn't right. My produce manager told me about him not working, though so she might not have gotten on to him but she told me how he doesn't do things before. It happens. There's places where people will work slow to not do their work. Never understood why he got the job if he didn't want to do his work. Haha. I mean, he wasn't mean to me or anything. He just didn't want to work.
> 
> And another guy that worked with me would go off talking more than you should at work. He quit in July.


It is not the job for some people.

Sounds like you have deadlines to work to (get products onto shelves) if can't work slow.


----------



## Ekardy

Feeling nostalgic. Thinking of what was, what is, what could be.


----------



## blue2

Demons everywhere, ya gotta love their work ethic : /


----------



## Cascades

Nervous AF. New Years Party with a bunch of people I don't know... let's see how drunk and social I can get. :roll


----------



## tea111red

so bored and not stimulated.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> It is not the job for some people.
> 
> Sounds like you have deadlines to work to (get products onto shelves) if can't work slow.


They were just lazy. I had to do their work sometimes, which isn't right. They were too lazy to even take out trash some days and anyone can do that.

One day, one of the guys at work told me my produce manager was mad at me over something he was supposed to do. I'm sure she was just mad at him cause he would go off talking for like an hour total everyday.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Cascades said:


> Nervous AF. New Years Party with a bunch of people I don't know... let's see how drunk and social I can get. :roll


Happy New Years. I hope it went ok and had a good time.



tea111red said:


> so bored and not stimulated.


Zsa Zsa Gabor had two good looking men to help her to keep motivated, stimulated when exercising -






Smart woman.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> They were just lazy. I had to do their work sometimes, which isn't right. They were too lazy to even take out trash some days and anyone can do that.
> 
> One day, one of the guys at work told me my produce manager was mad at me over something he was supposed to do. I'm sure she was just mad at him cause he would go off talking for like an hour total everyday.


Sorry to hear.

That seems to be quite common (being lazy), even with office jobs.

Some use going to bathroom to use up the time at work.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Zsa Zsa Gabor had two good looking men to help her to keep motivated, stimulated when exercising -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Smart woman.


lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> lol


She wanted to take one of them home. :b


----------



## harrison

Cascades said:


> Nervous AF. New Years Party with a bunch of people I don't know... let's see how drunk and social I can get. :roll


Hope it went okay and you all got home safely.

It was nice to see people looking so happy on the telly this morning from the fireworks last night. They looked like they loved it - even with a bit of rain they still didn't care.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> Happy New Years. I hope it went ok and had a good time.
> 
> Zsa Zsa Gabor had two good looking men to help her to keep motivated, stimulated when exercising -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Smart woman.
> 
> Sorry to hear.
> 
> That seems to be quite common (being lazy), even with office jobs.
> 
> Some use going to bathroom to use up the time at work.


One of the guys that worked with me did that. I looked at the time to see when he went in the bathroom. 30 minutes later, he was still in there. No one deserves to struggle at work for minimum pay but they would go off to the bathroom or talk too much. My produce manager doesn't struggle as much now that they're gone. Go figure.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> One of the guys that worked with me did that. I looked at the time to see when he went in the bathroom. 30 minutes later, he was still in there. No one deserves to struggle at work for minimum pay but they would go off to the bathroom or talk too much. My produce manager doesn't struggle as much now that they're gone. Go figure.


With some older women, can be up to 3 hours in the bathroom. Not a work environment, but yeah. Have no idea how someone (man or woman) can sit that long.


----------



## funnynihilist

Will someone rub my feet?


----------



## Crisigv

Fairly sad


----------



## Cascades

harrison said:


> Hope it went okay and you all got home safely.
> 
> It was nice to see people looking so happy on the telly this morning from the fireworks last night. They looked like they loved it - even with a bit of rain they still didn't care.


We got hammered twice by the rain, lucky we were under cover having a BBQ. Couldn't hear each other talk it was that heavy but it only lasted maybe 15 minutes. I'm glad it cleared up for everyone in the city


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Fairly sad


:hug


----------



## Fun Spirit

Fearful. The New Year has started where I'm at. I can't help but to feel fearful because the last 2 years have been really rough followed by 5 years of nothingness before the 2 years. I wish the New Year would had came in quietly because hearing people rejoicing from the fireworks isn't making it any better. 
What a great feeling to enter in the New Year. In fear.

_Sent from the Toy Factory using Tapatalk_


----------



## tea111red

bored


----------



## Maslow

I'm feeling a bit drunk and a bit lost. I'd say that I can't find my way home if I felt like there was a place to call home, but I'm just lost at sea... at the mercy of waves, winds, and currents. And I alway use an Oxford comma. It just makes more sense.


----------



## funnynihilist

buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzed


----------



## harrison

Slightly sick and a bit tired. Taking the proper dose of my medication and I don't really like it.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm home now, but not as tired as I hoped to be.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A weird combination of lonely and tired all at once. I should have a shot of whisky and get to bed before I go crazy. Or something. :lol


----------



## komorikun

Odd the trains in the rail yard didn't honk their horns at midnight. Last year they did. And last year I heard waaaay more firework noises. Very quiet this year. Eerie. 

Wonder if it's cause it's 2019 and they are saving up all their energy for 2020.


----------



## Blue Dino

komorikun said:


> Odd the trains in the rail yard didn't honk their horns at midnight. Last year they did. And last year I heard waaaay more firework noises. Very quiet this year. Eerie.
> 
> Wonder if it's cause it's 2019 and they are saving up all their energy for 2020.


Pretty quiet here as well. Normally there will be illegal fireworks being shot up everywhere until 4am. This year, so far I've seen or heard none. Might be due to the cold snap.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****


----------



## funnynihilist

I may have avoided a hangover. But I haven't gotten out of bed yet so who knows.


----------



## Neddy123

More optomistic than i have for a while.


But totally clueless with it


----------



## Deaf Mute

Like **** and the POS I am. I just never learn my lesson huh? That people and humans are just cruel sad bags of flesh driven only by sex and desires. 

Why am I so nice and open to people when they keep hurting me so deeply.

Lesson 1:

Everyone from hereon you meet will be under intense scrutiny and judgement of character. Don't give them any of your light and expression and be disinterested in them wholeheartedly because you have better things to do (focusing on yourself). Disengage from whatever conversation as soon as you can and just get away. Don't initiate any conversation with anyone unless their trust level is at least at 5+ (amiable with x person for at least 1-2 years+). 


Lesson 2:

Just stop now, stop trying to talk to more people really, stop being positive because it's false. You know the facts already, you know how this world has treated you, and will treat you, you've experienced it. It just doesn't work or get better so stop with people, really, this time. ****ing stop because you're not like them, you're so sensitive and fragile you break easily and have been broken so many ****ing times I've run out of glue and tape okay.

You keep forgiving everyone, society, people, when they just keep hurting you over and over and over again. It's time to stop giving them the goodness you have, and lock that away for no one to ever see. You're too warm, kind and generous for all the scum that make up this wretched society. Never give them that, and when they vye for validation, reject advancement coldly. 

The only things that will allow complete expressions now are music/arts, that is the only time you're allowed to be happy, and that others are allowed to see that of you. All apathy outside those beautiful worlds however. 


Lesson 3:

Give more only to those you have now, because there will be no one else (probably) from hereon that will be able to enter. It's time to close the gates permanently and let darkness and hatred envelope so that your outside colour only be blackness and thick poison.

Time for the last personality development, you've gathered enough experiences with people to know that the vast majority will be negative and just sad. It's okay, it's quicker to just not give effort now, they never appreciated you in the first remember, you were only there to just somehow provide social bearing otherwise you're worthless. :laugh:


Lesson 4:

Let go of this useless exterior and interior, time to change and evolve into something beyond while challenging assumptions. (Or is this the only way to delude myself again from how cruel human existence is...*the 3rd self*)

(I know, I know I hate myself, but maybe I just really really ****ing hate myself hahaha :laugh:, I really can't function or live in this society, and then capitalism and growing narcissism), **** me hard.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Emotionally numb.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I have to leave this site. It's the same **** over and over again. Place is just a bad habit and nothing more.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> I have to leave this site. It's the same **** over and over again. Place is just a bad habit and nothing more.


I don't blame you.


----------



## Graeme1988

Tired.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I don't blame you.


So many of us are stuck mate and just repeating the same things over and over again on here. It's just a bad habit for me.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> So many of us are stuck mate and just repeating the same things over and over again on here. It's just a bad habit for me.


it's hard finding catalysts for change.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> it's hard finding catalysts for change.


Yeah. I'm so tired. Btw I found out the other day that an old friend is a commander in the fire service. I couldn't believe it. I've done f all with my life and he's doing that.


----------



## Ekardy

Right now? In excruciating pain, fell and landed on my back; hit my head. 

2019 is starting off just dandy. T_T


----------



## StickyBunBuns

Lost. Sad. Like my heart has been torn out.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Yeah. I'm so tired. Btw I found out the other day that an old friend is a commander in the fire service. I couldn't believe it. I've done f all with my life and he's doing that.


yep. frustrating wanting to make progress, but not having anything that moves you to take action or action for long. :bash trying to figure out how to remedy this. :bash

your friend had all the right ingredients to get where he is now, i guess.

:stu

:bash


----------



## tea111red

https://www.mindmovies.com/blogroll/4-essential-ingredients-to-success-hard-work-is-not-one-of-them

https://techcrunch.com/2012/02/04/mark-zuckerbergs-6-ingredients-for-success/

:stu

need to be less numb. how to feel more again........ :stu


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> yep. frustrating wanting to make progress, but not having anything that moves you to take action or action for long. :bash trying to figure out how to remedy this. :bash
> 
> your friend had all the right ingredients to get where he is now, i guess.
> 
> :stu
> 
> :bash


I've just got too many issues and have buried my head in the sand for far too long. I don't know where to begin, and never did really.

My friend had a ****ty upbringing and was the man of the house before he hit ****ing puberty tbh, so he grew up early and this toughened him up for life. He had to survive from an early age where as I had it easy compared to him.

I might try and contact him and send him to you, to put out your burning loins btw. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Right now? In excruciating pain, fell and landed on my back; hit my head.
> 
> 2019 is starting off just dandy. T_T


Sorry to hear.

Is this off a chair or tripped or a ladder again?

If from a highish height, go to hospital.


----------



## Musicfan

Tired.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> I've just got too many issues and have buried my head in the sand for far too long. I don't know where to begin, and never did really.
> 
> My friend had a ****ty upbringing and was the man of the house before he hit ****ing puberty tbh, so he grew up early and this toughened him up for life. He had to survive from an early age where as I had it easy compared to him.
> 
> I might try and contact him and send him to you, to put out your burning loins btw. :b


lol, oh dear.... :blush


----------



## Ekardy

Uniman said:


> Sorry to hear.
> 
> Is this off a chair or tripped or a ladder again?
> 
> If from a highish height, go to hospital.


:lol You just reminded me how clumsy I am.
I've fractured so many bones in my life, I've lost count.

I think I'll be fine this time, just bruised and aching it feels and a headache. But if pain becomes intolerable, I will go to the hospital.

Thank you. :squeeze


----------



## Vip3r

Exhausted, going back to work after taking several days off for the holiday is kicking my butt.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> lol, oh dear.... :blush


He was a nice guy as well. I think you'd bloody love it if he showed up at your door with his outfit on and his massive hose hanging over his shoulder. >


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> :lol You just reminded me how clumsy I am.
> I've fractured so many bones in my life, I've lost count.
> 
> I think I'll be fine this time, just bruised and aching it feels and a headache. But if pain becomes intolerable, I will go to the hospital.
> 
> Thank you. :squeeze


You're welcome.

Most of us can relate to being clumsy when tired. Or even side effects from drugs can make reactions slower, feel tired, etc.

Ok. Wish you a speedy recovery.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> He was a nice guy as well. I think you'd bloody love it if he showed up at your door with his outfit on and his massive hose hanging over his shoulder. >


lol, my blood would probably run cold due to anxiety.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> lol, my blood would probably run cold due to anxiety.


Damn it! lol


----------



## Suchness

Like ****, only got 4 hours sleep.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Damn it! lol


yep. big problem!

how to stay composed......


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> yep. big problem!
> 
> how to stay composed......


I've got another old mate who became a pro Michael Buble impersonator (I'm not joking). I'll send him as well to sing while you have dinner, and make it even more romantic and awkward for you lol. :b Finding out he did that for a living was much more surprising than finding out about mr fire commander. WTF? lol


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> I've got another old mate who became a pro Michael Buble impersonator (I'm not joking). I'll send him as well to sing while you have dinner, and make it even more romantic and awkward for you lol. :b Finding out he did that for a living was much more surprising than finding out about mr fire commander. WTF? lol


lol, Michael Buble.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> lol, Michael Buble.


I honestly have no idea where it came from. Physically he's recognizable, but apart from that, I have no idea who he is. He's completely transformed. I'm happy for him actually because he had it rough growing up too. I think he reinvented himself to escape his childhood. It's bizarre though remembering him and seeing him as a grown man in a suit, pulling off this pretty damn good Buble act. :teeth lol


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> I honestly have no idea where it came from. Physically he's recognizable, but apart from that, I have no idea who he is. He's completely transformed. I'm happy for him actually because he had it rough growing up too. I think he reinvented himself to escape his childhood. It's bizarre though remembering him and seeing him as a grown man in a suit, pulling off this pretty damn good Buble act. :teeth lol


yeah, i have heard of some impersonators becoming them to escape themselves and their past. wonder what will happen when impersonating Michael Buble runs its course.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Ekardy said:


> Right now? In excruciating pain, fell and landed on my back; hit my head.
> 
> 2019 is starting off just dandy. T_T


I guess this is the wrong time to be giving you an Exploding Easter Egg. :nerd:


----------



## Ekardy

I_Exist said:


> I guess this is the wrong time to be giving you an Exploding Easter Egg. :nerd:


If it explodes and reveals candy I'm all for it. :lol


----------



## The Linux Guy

Ekardy said:


> If it explodes and reveals candy I'm all for it. :lol


All I saw was a big flash! :stu

Amazing what can come out of one egg.


----------



## Ekardy

I_Exist said:


> All I saw was a big flash! :stu
> 
> Amazing what can come out of one egg.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Ekardy said:


>


I think I should be nice too you. Because your so Awesome!

Gummy Jalapeno Pepper Candy >


----------



## Ekardy

I_Exist said:


> I think I should be nice too you. Because your so Awesome!
> 
> Gummy Jalapeno Pepper Candy >


I like spicy food....but spicy candy...


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Loopy.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Ekardy said:


> I like spicy food....but spicy candy...


I like spicy food as well.

Right now I feel lonely tired and my stomach and back are bothering me.


----------



## Ekardy

I_Exist said:


> I like spicy food as well.
> 
> Right now I feel lonely tired and my stomach and back are bothering me.


Oh I'm sorry. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Had a nice dinner with mother earlier which helped my mood but now I am feeling a bit lonely again tonight. :sigh


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling meh. Having highs and lows. :/


----------



## komorikun

High off of burnt brussel sprouts and leftover champagne.


----------



## discopotato

drunk as a skunk


----------



## Fun Spirit

Suspicious. 
It just dawned on me. I haven't heard from my old high school classmate. He would had been sent me a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year email. It is not like him to not to. It could be because he said he lost his phone and was in the process of getting a new Facebook/email. I will contact him to see if he is Ok. I can't help but to be concern because he has a few health problems. I will scolded him once I find out he is Ok. LOL

_Sent from the Scorpio Woman using Tapatalk_


----------



## SparklingWater

Lmao. I love the internet. I am thoroughly amused.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feeling meh. Having highs and lows. :/


:hug


----------



## SparklingWater

Blehhhhhh. I do NOT want to do this interview. The dr. thing I have to do tomorrow makes me not want to participate in the ptsd study at all. I suddenly do not want to hang out with my sister. I do not want to talk to my mother. I do not want to ask anyone for a ride after I take the meds. I do not want to do my braids. Ugh. 

Also I'm super surprised how immensely angry something made me in the space of 10 seconds. I was seething. Definitely need to dig in internally and check what's hidden there that I didn't deal with at the time.


----------



## Neddy123

Sad. Because i am thinking about stuff from the past i that i thought was long since forgotten :serious:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Feel so depressed and lonely today. Thinking about how much I still want to talk to her and tell her how much pain I'm in. I would never have left her to suffer like this. I'd never leave someone like me to suffer like this. I'm not a stranger, someone just known for 5 minutes. This was years and a huge part of my life and hers. I can't adjust and need understanding and validation.


----------



## SparklingWater

I am so confused and all over the place right now. The questions I have don't have any simple answers. I have many paths I can take, but not sure how far I can actually walk any of them. I should choose one and keep going. I'm just scared to look back in 6 months and somehow be at the starting line again.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Calm but also a bit overwhelmed about my future and stuff. I mean, I'm not that overwhelmed. Just more nervous I guess. I just want to get things done in life. Fulfill something. I don't know what or where to start. Ugh.


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Calm but also a bit overwhelmed about my future and stuff. I mean, I'm not that overwhelmed. Just more nervous I guess. I just want to get things done in life. Fulfill something. I don't know what or where to start. Ugh.


:squeeze . I know how you feel.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I_Exist said:


> :squeeze . I know how you feel.


It sucks. :frown2:


----------



## Karsten

Sleepy and having a hard time staying focused.


----------



## Ekardy

Karsten said:


> Sleepy and having a hard time staying focused.


Focus! :bah


----------



## Crisigv

Loathed


----------



## Karsten

Ekardy said:


> Focus! :bah


Stop distracting me! :bah

Teach me calculus. :bah


----------



## Ekardy

Karsten said:


> Stop distracting me! :bah
> 
> Teach me calculus. :bah


You want to know the ways of the calculus? 
Are you up for the challenge?


----------



## Karsten

Ekardy said:


> You want to know the ways of the calculus?
> Are you up for the challenge?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Calm but also a bit overwhelmed about my future and stuff. I mean, I'm not that overwhelmed. Just more nervous I guess. I just want to get things done in life. Fulfill something. I don't know what or where to start. Ugh.


Find your life purpose -






Sometimes it is something you do everyday and enjoy doing.



Crisigv said:


> Loathed


:hug

Was it good bread?


----------



## Fun Spirit

Embarrassed, suprised, bashful. 
>////< 
I'm a mess. LOL

_Sent from Mars using Tapatalk_


----------



## coeur_brise

Itchy.


----------



## andy1984

coeur_brise said:


> Itchy.


can i scratch you?


----------



## coeur_brise

andy1984 said:


> can i scratch you?


Sure, just pay for the shipping on the hand..ling.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Shocked that someone would abandon this lovely dog -






Thank you to those people for saving him.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Uniman

Honestly, my real life purpose is just enjoying life. Going to the beach, being in a relationship and never having to work. But obviously, life doesn't work that way.

I'm talking more like going to a technical school and pursuing a career in computers. Not something I exactly wants to do but it's best to go into something that will guarantee me a job. I'd have to get rides from Uber. No buses come down my road. :/


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Uniman
> 
> Honestly, my real life purpose is just enjoying life. Going to the beach, being in a relationship and never having to work. But obviously, life doesn't work that way.
> 
> I'm talking more like going to a technical school and pursuing a career in computers. Not something I exactly wants to do but it's best to go into something that will guarantee me a job. I'd have to get rides from Uber. No buses come down my road. :/


Maybe your calling is being a life guard? :stu

Or somethīng involvīng nature, like looking after animals (vet like job)?

Maybe even a sports trainer. Can do degrees for sport science.

You'll be up against people with degrees with computers. Unless you do house calls, repair computers that way. Or know people in the industry so can work your way up.


----------



## Cili

I like you so much lio. ugh


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> Maybe your calling is being a life guard? :stu
> 
> Or somethīng involvīng nature, like looking after animals (vet like job)?
> 
> Maybe even a sports trainer. Can do degrees for sport science.
> 
> You'll be up against people with degrees with computers. Unless you do house calls, repair computers that way. Or know people in the industry so can work your way up.


A lifeguard? Lol No thanks. I don't want to be a veterinarian, either.

Well, that made me lose confidence in life. And that doesn't really make me feel better. Oh well. Guess I'll just work minimum wage for the rest of my life.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel that I should be in bed but something from my past is bothering me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> A lifeguard? Lol No thanks. I don't want to be a veterinarian, either.


Ok. Crosses those off the list.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Well, that made me lose confidence in life. And that doesn't really make me feel better. Oh well. Guess I'll just work minimum wage for the rest of my life.


Not my intention. I think got lost in translation, or I'm terrible at explaining things as I talk in short. :b

What I mean by knowing people is are they willing to take you on with no experience in that field? It does happen, as known people that worked their way up to higher positions that way with little experience when they started.

It is old fashioned these days (old way) as people do degrees to gain the knowledge and can be put into higher positions due to having a degree (still have to gain experience). When you get to higher positions you'll be up against people with that experience / degree.

Some work in computer stores to gain that basic experience (learn on the job).

Some do home computer repair for people to gain experience, but don't have the mentoring like in a computer store.


----------



## andy1984

coeur_brise said:


> Sure, just pay for the shipping on the hand..ling.


lol. ok. stay itchy. the hand will take 3-4 weeks to arrive.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> Ok. Crosses those off the list.
> 
> Not my intention. I think got lost in translation, or I'm terrible at explaining things as I talk in short. :b
> 
> What I mean by knowing people is are they willing to take you on with no experience in that field? It does happen, as known people that worked their way up to higher positions that way with little experience when they started.
> 
> It is old fashioned these days (old way) as people do degrees to gain the knowledge and can be put into higher positions due to having a degree (still have to gain experience). When you get to higher positions you'll be up against people with that experience / degree.
> 
> Some work in computer stores to gain that basic experience (learn on the job).
> 
> Some do home computer repair for people to gain experience, but don't have the mentoring like in a computer store.


I'm just a bit frustrated. I don't know much about this kind of stuff and I think I'll just be better off doing hard labor that's risky honestly. It wouldn't be worth it, though.

I don't know. Its a lot to think about. And I don't have much time left. I wanted a career before my 30s but...yea. Guess I'll just look at the other programs they have at that school. I want nothing to do with the medical field. So, that can get scratched off my list of careers to choose from. :/


----------



## SparklingWater

Disappointed. Pple are so predictable.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm just a bit frustrated. I don't know much about this kind of stuff and I think I'll just be better off doing hard labor that's risky honestly. It wouldn't be worth it, though.


It takes some experience and has to be kind of a thing you like doing.

Looking at whät parents did job wise can give you some idea's where your strengths are.

Others that are common with women is hairdresser, event management, video editing or 3D, secretary (some women do this until 30's in a certain area and then become a consultant in that certain area), retail, bars, lawyers, banks, etc.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I don't know. Its a lot to think about. And I don't have much time left. I wanted a career before my 30s but...yea. Guess I'll just look at the other programs they have at that school. I want nothing to do with the medical field. So, that can get scratched off my list of careers to choose from. :/


So medical area is crossed out.

Normally to get a direction, look up "finding your niche", as it helps to narrow it down to what you love doing, your strengths. Then can select education to suit what you love doing, have strengths in. In addition, note that jobs are available after graduating which makes the final decision.


----------



## tehuti88

I don't even know what to call this feeling. While editing some old typed-up dreams of mine to post in my new blog, came across mention of how I only had $10. The dream itself isn't upsetting, but remembering those times...when I had no money but the little bit my parents gave me, when they couldn't really afford it themselves, and every time a utility truck went by I'd go check the flame on the stove to see if it was still on, how one time we had to ask my grandmother for money to pay a bill and even she couldn't help us...I start crying and feel so awful.

$10. I couldn't even buy a week's worth of catheters with that.

This is one reason I can't read my old journals, this constant dread and shame that hung over me merely for existing and taking up precious resources my parents couldn't afford. I think I'm overdue for an SSI review. So now I dread that instead. I pray so much this will never be taken away from me because not only will we be back to that awful state, a state of always dreading what will happen next, a sword dangling constantly over our heads, lights constantly in danger of being shut off, gas flame constantly in danger of being snuffed out, but my little bit of social contact here--maybe even my access to my own writing, all digital now instead of printed out (and printers and paper and ink cost, too)--will all be gone. At such a time, I may as well be dead.

At least at the moment all I really have to feel awful about is being a waste of space, an annoyance, a mild burden. Without that money I'll be much worse. No excuse to be alive. A genuine threat to my family. This isn't even getting into what would become of my medical needs...

I hope so much I never get that little bit taken away from me, from us, at least until it's my time to go anyway, when my parents won't be around anymore to resent me (if they don't already). But just remembering those times...I feel awful. Crying. Dread and shame inside. I hated that time so much.

I wish I were more grateful.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Hope died 1st November 2017


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

My feelings? No one cares about those.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tehuti88

:hug

I hope you get what you need.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> My feelings? No one cares about those.


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> My feelings? No one cares about those.


I don't want you to feel bad mate, so I care in a way and so do many other's here, but it's all from a distance and none personal, not real enough. It's not enough is it? Sigh :frown2:


----------



## Neddy123

How can i have made it 33 years without a single person ever WANTING to spend time with me? I feel sick. It's me, isn't it? I'm a broken toy


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I managed to have 3 or 4 day's over Christmas where I didn't feel so bad, and it was the first time in over a year where I had a bit of peace, but now, the depression and loneliness are back. 

I was hoping that she might pop up, but she never did. I hate this time of year. The New Year and my birthday is coming up, and I'm thinking again just how much I spoke to her for and all the great times we had in person, and how it's all I had, and it's all gone. How am I ever supposed to get over spending so much time alone and finally meeting her, and it being brilliant, to going back to the way I felt a decade ago? Hardly anyone understands what this has been like, because hardly anyone has experienced it. I can't adjust to spending the vast majority of my life alone, feeling that massive sense of relief that I'd finally found someone who understood me, only for it to all go wrong. 

Life is just so ****ing cruel. None of it makes any sense. I still have moments where I feel like getting on the train and trying to speak to her in person. Trying to see if she remembers me and we can chat and sort something, anything out. I'm so ****ing depressed and shocked by all this, and it will never go away unless I can try and talk to her. Without her I'm dead, lost. Depression wise I've gone back to the way I was a decade ago, before I started to talk to people online about my SA etc.


----------



## riverbird

Depressed. Lonely. I wish I could crawl into bed and sleep for a week.


----------



## Fun Spirit

As if it is all in my head. All in my head. It is all in my head.

_Sent from Mars using Tapatalk_


----------



## Scaptain

Well, I'm here so pretty terrible and bored.


----------



## Graeme1988

Slightly better than yesterday, but that’s not saying much...

Still feeling rather uninspired when it comes to making my own music.


----------



## discopotato

Empty


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Uniman said:


> Sorry to hear mate.


Thanks for the support.



Pete Beale said:


> I don't want you to feel bad mate, so I care in a way and so do many other's here, but it's all from a distance and none personal, not real enough. It's not enough is it? Sigh :frown2:


 It feels that way sometimes, yes.



Neddy123 said:


> How can i have made it 33 years without a single person ever WANTING to spend time with me? I feel sick. It's me, isn't it? I'm a broken toy


 :rub



riverbird said:


> Depressed. Lonely. I wish I could crawl into bed and sleep for a week.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

discopotato said:


> Empty


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Thanks for the support.


You're welcome mate.


----------



## 3stacks

Sad and lonely of course


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Sad and lonely of course


Sorry to hear mate.

Your twin? -


----------



## discopotato

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


:squeeze:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Empty


:hug

Stay strong.


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Sad and lonely of course
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry to hear mate.
> 
> Your twin? -
Click to expand...

 my twin? Lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> my twin? Lol


Female twin. :b


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> my twin? Lol
> 
> 
> 
> Female twin.
Click to expand...

 I used to have those headphones so she must have stolen them


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> I used to have those headphones so she must have stolen them


:lol

This was a close second as a potential twin -






Her voice / singing makes me :crying:

I hope apart from being sad, lonely you are having a good day.


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> I used to have those headphones so she must have stolen them
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> This was a close second as a potential twin -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Her voice / singing makes me /forum/images/SAS_2015/smilies/tango_face_crying.png
> 
> I hope apart from being sad, lonely you are having a good day.
Click to expand...

 They're both too pretty to be my twins haha. My day was ok at first since I was out with friends but I just get sad and lonely when I'm not very distracted I guess


----------



## SparklingWater

Great. What a surprisingly lovely day. I keep forgetting that I've done tons of work and even though my brain's initial reaction continues to be dread, things don't actually feel as bad as they used to. Surprisingly pleasant, dare I say enjoyable. Wonder how long it'll take for dread to not be the first emotion. Months, maybe years. I mean after yrs of feeling like ****, take all the time you need brain.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> They're both too pretty to be my twins haha. My day was ok at first since I was out with friends but I just get sad and lonely when I'm not very distracted I guess


You must be a pretty boy then. :O

Girls, pretty boy over here.  :b

His name is -






Probably overthinking a bit when are not busy or distracted.


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> They're both too pretty to be my twins haha. My day was ok at first since I was out with friends but I just get sad and lonely when I'm not very distracted I guess
> 
> 
> 
> You must be a pretty boy then. /forum/images/SAS_2015/smilies/tango_face_surprise.png
> 
> Girls, pretty boy over here.
> 
> His name is -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Probably overthinking a bit when are not busy or distracted.
Click to expand...

 haha I wish. Oh yeah I overthinking everything lol. How do you find all of these videos Groot.


----------



## Crisigv

a bit upset


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> haha I wish.







:lol



3stacks said:


> Oh yeah I overthinking everything lol. How do you find all of these videos Groot.


A secret called the tube. Not the paste tube either. :sus :b



Crisigv said:


> a bit upset


:hug


----------



## 3stacks

@Uniman I want a genie, for sure! Not that one though


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> @Uniman I want a genie, for sure! Not that one though







:O


----------



## PandaBearx

Despite it not being finals week, and me being out of school, my current mood is at 1:27


----------



## Taaylah

I’m just sad. I can’t explain it any other way. I’ve been trying to hide it at work, but it feels like every interaction I have with customers or coworkers they can see through it. Like it’s written in my forehead


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Taaylah said:


> I'm just sad. I can't explain it any other way. I've been trying to hide it at work, but it feels like every interaction I have with customers or coworkers they can see through it.


:hug


----------



## tea111red

blah.


----------



## Ekardy

Hopeless.

I wish I was more open. There are some things I’m not even open about with myself. 

I’m scared.


----------



## rockyraccoon

Ekardy said:


> Hopeless.
> 
> I wish I was more open. There are some things I'm not even open about with myself.
> 
> I'm scared.












:squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

Feel like I have no support. I'm all alone.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pretty crappy, I should probably go to bed.


----------



## rockyraccoon

Crisigv said:


> Feel like I have no support. I'm all alone.


----------



## rockyraccoon

twytarn said:


> Pretty crappy, I should probably go to bed.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

rockyraccoon said:


>


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Feel like I have no support. I'm all alone.


:hug


----------



## blue2

Pretty good, I'm gonna start workin out after eating many calories & being drunk for a week, I think I need a rocky montage.


----------



## rockyraccoon

blue2 said:


> Pretty good, I'm gonna start workin out after eating many calories & being drunk for a week, I think I need a rocky montage.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling a bit down. 

I want to be asexual but it doesn't work that way. Haha.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feeling a bit down.
> 
> I want to be asexual but it doesn't work that way. Haha.


:hug

One ponders which way it works. :O


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> :hug
> 
> One ponders which way it works. :O


Lol :b

I don't want to be attracted to guys or girls. It sucks. :frown2:

I need a magic wand to make my wishes come true. :nerd:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol :b
> 
> I don't want to be attracted to guys or girls. It sucks. :frown2:
> 
> I need a magic wand to make my wishes come true. :nerd:


No laughing matter.  :b

Then attracted to magnets? :O

Need a Johnny Grey.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I have to go to the doctors Monday and get a diagnosis of what is wrong with me. I need to under go some tests. Whatever it is, it is rare. I've hardly ever spoken to anyone about this in my life, and I just can't go on with this affecting my life so much. Even if nothing can be done, at least I'll have a diagnosis.


----------



## Ekardy

rockyraccoon said:


> :squeeze


:squeeze Thank you.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Startled. 
The men fixing the rooftop are making a lot of noises.

_Lost in Space from using Tapatalk_


----------



## Graeme1988

Pissed off...

Had to get a 2nd account of yet another family argument from my oldest sister. :argue 
Which was caused by our mother lying. Something she’s been doing a lot lately. And because I still live with her, I tasked with looking after her, despite being disabled. But that’s another story...

Anyway, it turns out that my mother has been lying whenever I recently asked her if she’s been taking all of her medications, as she has various health issues. I come to find out, today, thanks to my oldest sister being more candid than usual, that our mother hasn’t been taking all her medications. And is, instead, choosing to cry-wolf and complain that she’s not feeling well.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> No laughing matter.  :b
> 
> Then attracted to magnets? :O
> 
> Need a Johnny Grey.


Magnets will do. Lol

I have no idea who Johnny Grey is. :lol


----------



## funnynihilist

Boring weekend coming up!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Numb to almost everything for the past two days. My endorphins are not working again. Yay.



Crisigv said:


> Feel like I have no support. I'm all alone.


:hug:squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Magnets will do. Lol
> 
> I have no idea who Johnny Grey is. :lol







Some say he is the man dancing with the funny looking moves in the dance class.

We all know him as the man singing the song which backs the dancers. :b


----------



## SparklingWater

Tired, bored.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Misanthropic.


----------



## funnynihilist

Sore


----------



## 3stacks

Taaylah said:


> Extremely sad and I don't know why. I pretended to need something from Walmart so I could cry in the parking lot.


 :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Taaylah said:


> Extremely sad and I don't know why. I pretended to need something from Walmart so I could cry in the parking lot.


:hug

Try to get some sleep to see if it helps. Temporary fix is to breathe in and out fully.


----------



## Taaylah

Uniman said:


> :hug
> 
> Try to get some sleep to see if it helps. Temporary fix is to breathe in and out fully.


Thank you. I've been feeling like this for a bit, sleep hasn't helped unfortunately.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Taaylah said:


> Thank you. I've been feeling like this for a bit, sleep hasn't helped unfortunately.


You're welcome.

Then it might be something you need to solve to feel better. It bugs you until sort it out sort of problem.


----------



## Deaf Mute

I don't know, I just feel so sad, why does everything have to be this way, literally everything in my life has been failures and disappointments. :blank


----------



## tea111red

bored


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel like I have no control over my feelings. I feel so much. I'm just that affected by.....

_Lost in Space from using Tapatalk_


----------



## The Linux Guy

Fun Spirit said:


> I feel like I have no control over my feelings. I feel so much. I'm just that affected by.....
> 
> _Lost in Space from using Tapatalk_


Nobody has control over their feelings. All you can do is logically choose what emotions you are going to act out on and which ones you are not.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I_Exist said:


> Nobody has control over their feelings. All you can do is logically choose what emotions you are going to act out on and which ones you are not.


I will try to do that. Thanks.

_Lost in Space from using Tapatalk_


----------



## 0589471

Fun Spirit said:


> I feel like I have no control over my feelings. I feel so much. I'm just that affected by.....
> 
> _Lost in Space from using Tapatalk_


:squeeze I'm sorry. I'm a feeler type too and it drives me crazy. (everyone has feelings, what I mean is being a main-feeler, lots of emotions type) It's important to remember our feelings are thoughtless (no mind of their own) and kind of erratic, they change constantly so you can't really trust them. Like another user said we can't control them but we can do our best to not buy into them either. It's good to find things to help distract you or keep your mind off the really strong feelings so they're not clouding your judgment or weighing you down.

Give your mind time to really process your situation and ability to gauge which feelings are worth acting on and others that may not be as much as they seem in the moment.


----------



## karenw

Could feel better, headache atm.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Trapped. Need a bloody miracle.


----------



## SparklingWater

Annoyed with myself.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

over 14 months and I absolutely cannot get over losing her. I'm never going to though. How the **** can you spend so many years alone, finally think you've found someone who gets you, only to lose them? I spent way, way too much time alone before I met her. You just can't get over the massive amount of social isolation, then ending up living with someone all of a sudden. It's just too much of a dramatic lifestyle change and I hate being back like this again. 

I meet new people now, but I feel nothing compared to the first time I met her. The first time I met her, represented years of loneliness and not being understood, coming to an end. I felt like I'd found my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I felt like a life time of pain and loneliness was coming to an end, at last. 

I'm ****ing tired. So ****ing tired. All I want is for her to come back and take away my god damn life long depression and loneliness, like she once did. I see no other way for the pain to end.


----------



## discopotato

Everything and nothing all at once.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Crappy.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I miss having someone I actually want to talk to everyday. I can't adjust to this crap. I need someone to talk to all the time.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I still feel like I'm way too vulnerable even after all these years. I'm still a vulnerable person who can be bought down too easily by lifes stressors. I will always need support and help.


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> I miss having someone I actually want to talk to everyday. I can't adjust to this crap. I need someone to talk to all the time.


 Same, was good to wake up and be excited to talk to someone. Can't seem to find anyone else that compares.


----------



## CNikki

Apathetic.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> Same, was good to wake up and be excited to talk to someone. Can't seem to find anyone else that compares.


Yeah. I have no idea what to do. 14 months seems like 14 hours. Time isn't healing **** for me. At least you have youth on your side mate. She was all I had that connected me to my lost youth, and I miss the fun, youthful side of her that made me feel younger. **** man, it is painful. Wake up everyday knowing how much I've lost. Feeling like someone who's woken up from a coma to find that the only person I cared about died in a car crash, and I've aged two decades. Just don't know what to do with myself. I want to talk to her so badly, but can't. I feel like I ****ing died the day I left her and I'm stuck in limbo.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

CNikki said:


> Apathetic.


:frown2:

What are we gonna bloody do with ourselves, eh?


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Same, was good to wake up and be excited to talk to someone. Can't seem to find anyone else that compares.
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah. I have no idea what to do. 14 months seems like 14 hours. Time isn't healing **** for me. At least you have youth on your side mate. She was all I had that connected me to my lost youth, and I miss the fun, youthful side of her that made me feel younger. **** man, it is painful. Wake up everyday knowing how much I've lost. Feeling like someone who's woken up from a coma to find that the only person I cared about died in a car crash, and I've aged two decades. Just don't know what to do with myself. I want to talk to her so badly, but can't. I feel like I ****ing died the day I left her and I'm stuck in limbo.
Click to expand...

 :hug


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> :hug


Thanks mate. :hug


----------



## funnynihilist

Well I was just singing to myself so...


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> Well I was just singing to myself so...


So... what?


----------



## funnynihilist

twytarn said:


> So... what?


Isn't that a sign that you've spent too much time by yourself?


----------



## 0589471

twytarn said:


> So... what?


he's feeling pretty chimm-chimmery lol


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel like I spent too much time online posting stuff.... Silent Screams in the Dark. Everyone probably thinks I'm a creep.


----------



## SparklingWater

Pretty durn happy. In a parking lot right now, about to head home. Feeling too lazy to drive. It's raining so gonna give it 5 mins, see if it lightens up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Love this music, as that what love should bé like. Stays strong through sickness, arguments, bad days, etc -






Laughing at 2:37+ as is funny. :lol


----------



## Ms kim

Pete Beale said:


> over 14 months and I absolutely cannot get over losing her. I'm never going to though. How the **** can you spend so many years alone, finally think you've found someone who gets you, only to lose them? I spent way, way too much time alone before I met her. You just can't get over the massive amount of social isolation, then ending up living with someone all of a sudden. It's just too much of a dramatic lifestyle change and I hate being back like this again.
> 
> I meet new people now, but I feel nothing compared to the first time I met her. The first time I met her, represented years of loneliness and not being understood, coming to an end. I felt like I'd found my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I felt like a life time of pain and loneliness was coming to an end, at last.
> 
> I'm ****ing tired. So ****ing tired. All I want is for her to come back and take away my god damn life long depression and loneliness, like she once did. I see no other way for the pain to end.


Its so sad...that all your happiness in life is wrapped up in this one person. Yes, it's really sad.

It only goes to show that each person has to find happiness within them self and not in another person.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Ms kim said:


> Its so sad...that all your happiness in life is wrapped up in this one person. Yes, it's really sad.
> 
> It only goes to show that each person has to find happiness within them self and not in another person.


I know. I know you're religious and believe in god, and have him, but I just don't have any faith and can't find happiness in my own skin. 

I think being alone for such a long time and having no friends at all in real life, and meeting someone who I thought would finally care about me, as really messed me up. I felt such a strong bond to her, I don't know how to break it. I felt like I was in an emotional prison for pretty much my whole adult life until I met her. When I did meet her, it was literally the first time I'd socialized with someone in person, for over 13 and a half years. Meeting her, I was met with this massive sense of relief, and now I'm back to wanting that sense of relief again because I'm still emotionally bonded to her.

I think unless someone has spent so much time alone and then thought they found someone, you don't know the impact it has on you. I feel like I'd spent years in this prison, finally had been released, and now I'm back behind bars again. I feel like I spent all these years with no one, found someone, then they were cruelly taken away from me. I wish I'd died on my journey back home the day I left her. I don't want to keep suffering like this. I'm trying to meet new people, but none of them are her and nothing can make me feel that sense of peace and contentment I felt when I was with her and happy. I just want the depression and grief I feel now to stop, because I can't keep feeling like this.


----------



## SparklingWater

Validated. Always trust your gut.


----------



## Ms kim

Pete Beale said:


> I know. I know you're religious and believe in god, and have him, but I just don't have any faith and can't find happiness in my own skin.
> 
> I think being alone for such a long time and having no friends at all in real life, and meeting someone who I thought would finally care about me, as really messed me up. I felt such a strong bond to her, I don't know how to break it. I felt like I was in an emotional prison for pretty much my whole adult life until I met her. When I did meet her, it was literally the first time I'd socialized with someone in person, for over 13 and a half years. Meeting her, I was met with this massive sense of relief, and now I'm back to wanting that sense of relief again because I'm still emotionally bonded to her.
> 
> I think unless someone has spent so much time alone and then thought they found someone, you don't know the impact it has on you. I feel like I'd spent years in this prison, finally had been released, and now I'm back behind bars again. I feel like I spent all these years with no one, found someone, then they were cruelly taken away from me. I wish I'd died on my journey back home the day I left her. I don't want to keep suffering like this. I'm trying to meet new people, but none of them are her and nothing can make me feel that sense of peace and contentment I felt when I was with her and happy. I just want the depression and grief I feel now to stop, because I can't keep feeling like this.


I like that you pointed out the fact that I believe in God. Because that is where all my strength comes from.

All the feelings that you mentioned that you have for your ex, I have those feelings too. But not for a person. I have those feelings for God.

I'm desperate for God. I can't make it without Him. I am nothing. I am sad, depressed, and hopeless without God. I can't leave my house, can't interact with people unless the lord holds my hand. I am a simple little child.

I've realised in life that I am nothing. Absolutely nothing. I wondered what is the point of my living. And that's when God showed me...

I was not meant to go through life alone. To face all these heavy burdens alone. And when I started looking at life from God perspective, everything became possible.

You think it's not possible to get beyond the break up with this person. You think it's not possible to sort out your life. That's what you say. But that is not what God says.

If you knew God, then you would learn to live by His words and not by your own words. Your words and thinking leads to depression and hopelessness. The word of God gives peace, and happiness. But first, you have to believe.

So yes, I do believe in God.

God says I am to love Him more than everyone else. So it means that I will not love anyone so much so that all my happiness is depending on them.

If I chat with you at the end of 2019 you will still be in this position, because you truly believe that all your happiness is wrapped up in this person.

But if only you could believe in something bigger and better, then what a change that would bring to your life!

God is not fairytale. God is real. And He knows what is best for us. But first we must believe.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mixed emotions.


----------



## SparklingWater

Tired. Time for bed.


----------



## Eternal Solitude

I just watched Ready Player One for the first time. It left me feeling sad and empty...I don't know what scene triggered these emotions or even if it was the overall quality of the movie. I can' even pin point why the movie upset nor can I rationalize my current state.

All I know is that I was better off before... strange how things can affect you without you knowing.


----------



## Ckg2011

Like a complete and utter loser at life and that maybe I shouldn't have been born. cry


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Anxious and miserable.


----------



## Vivian Darkbloom

Cold and in pain


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Hot, like 24 degrees C (80F) in the coldest spot.

Cat was struggling too, as couldn't move due to being hot.


----------



## PandaBearx

Like I kind of don't want to exist...


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PandaBearx said:


> Like I kind of don't want to exist...


:hug


----------



## Kinable

Super depressed, probably just a low point and I hope it goes away soon. Haven't felt this depressed in awhile, damn random thoughts bringing me down again ruining my motivation.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Vivian Darkbloom said:


> Cold and in pain


:hug



PandaBearx said:


> Like I kind of don't want to exist...


:hug :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

i need excitement.


----------



## PandaBearx

Uniman said:


> :hug





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug
> 
> :hug :squeeze


:squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> i need excitement.


Boo. :b :lol



PandaBearx said:


> :squeeze


:hug


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Boo. :b :lol


probably need something more like BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well, maybe not that intense, but hopefully you get the idea.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> probably need something more like BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> well, maybe not that intense, but hopefully you get the idea.


Yeap. :lol

I was thinking of this Casper movie scene -






Casper?

Sounds funny in head if thinking that scene and them screaming, running away (they don't show the run away part) at 4:00+. :b


----------



## tea111red

Not quite, lol.


----------



## funnynihilist

2:54 am. I am nocturnal.


----------



## tea111red

probably going to be up all night again.


----------



## Flora20

Depressed and tired with everything..


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Not quite, lol.


Said the might be. :b



tea111red said:


> probably going to be up all night again.


Sounds like this -


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Sounds like this -
> 
> [/url]


yeah..i got my hrs messed up the other day. woke up late yesterday and then had to just stay up all night to make sure i was awake to drive my family member to the airport. i went to bed early in the morning yesterday and woke up in the afternoon, so i'll probably be up all night and morning. i'll get my hrs fixed sometime soon, i'm sure.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Flora20 said:


> Depressed and tired with everything..


:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

I think I see what you are saying, get sleep pattern back the right way in the end after it was messed up. Lets hope I got that right. :sus :stu :grin2:


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> @tea111red
> 
> I think I see what you are saying, get sleep pattern back the right way in the end after it was messed up. Lets hope I got that right. :sus :stu :grin2:


yes, and thank you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> yes, and thank you.


Goodie gum drops. You're welcome. 

Good that man brain is working. :b :lol


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Goodie gum drops. You're welcome.
> 
> Good that man brain is working. :b :lol


:yes :clap


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> :yes :clap


Why do I feel like this man when that happens -


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Why do I feel like this man when that happens -


when your man brain doesn't work?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> when your man brain doesn't work?


Yes.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Maybe because I feel tired? I don't know.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Yes.





Uniman said:


> Maybe because I feel tired? I don't know.


maybe........

eat some berries :


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> maybe........
> 
> eat some berries :


Thank you. 

Thank goodness it wasn't a cherry berry. :O :lol


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Thank you.
> 
> Thank goodness it wasn't a cherry berry. :O :lol


haha......no problem.

what, you had a bad experience w/ a cherry berry?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> haha......no problem.
> 
> what, you had a bad experience w/ a cherry berry?


Nah, just sounds funny (jokes). :b :lol


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> i need excitement.


And veggie sushi farty spoonage. :b

But seriously, I swear, depressive agitation and boredom will be the death of me. I need freedom and excitement.


----------



## tea111red

i want to be able to come more back to life so i can feel more motivated to do stuff i need to do.


----------



## hypestyle

right now not feeling great. hopefully better later. long day already.


----------



## Ekardy

Hmm...I’m feeling a bit lonely today.
Not sad or bummed out just lonely.


----------



## scooby

Disappointed that I'm making something hard for myself to do.


----------



## tea111red

blah


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> blah


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


>


lol


----------



## Taaylah

Selfish. I’ve been feeling bad lately so I’ve been too wrapped up in my own feelings/problems to support the people around me like I should


----------



## h00dz

This gif works well for me.


----------



## BeautyandRage

I’ve been feeling good lately, I don’t feel super depressed anymore.


----------



## Crisigv

BeautyandRage said:


> I've been feeling good lately, I don't feel super depressed anymore.


This makes me happy to read. It's super crappy to feel really depressed ALL the time. I'm glad your feeling a little better.

This morning, I woke up to discover my morning coffee ran out and I had to have a different kind. grrr. I guess I should buy some to have as a back up, because I'm not the only one who uses it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A bit annoyed that I got a call from this woman after 9 a.m. I got plenty of sleep and didn't wake up until after 10 a.m. but I called her and just told her I'm going to be busy. Then, she calls again like 30 minutes later. I don't feel like talking on the phone all day. I have things I need and want to do. I mean, I don't want to be rude but it's a distraction from other things getting calls throughout the day, so I just ignored the second call. :/ Talking for too long can be kinda exhausting on my anxiety. I already talked to her for an hour or more last night and this was before I had to catch up on sleep. I just should tell her the truth and say I'm tired and going to bed but I didn't say that until like over an hour later. Next time, I'm just going to talk on the phone for like 20 minutes.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Hmm...I'm feeling a bit lonely today.
> Not sad or bummed out just lonely.


Same with me.  :hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

BeautyandRage said:


> I've been feeling good lately, I don't feel super depressed anymore.


Good to hear! :boogie


----------



## SparklingWater

Happy. It feels good to feel supported.


----------



## PandaBearx

Emotionally nauseous.


----------



## Marakunda

So mad, so stressed. The people who live above me are being so annoying and loud right now. I've complained to the caretaker a ton and nothing's being done about it. 
Please don't be that annoying person who's never lived in an apartment before and thinks they own the whole building. They obviously just don't care. So ****ing annoying.
About ready to passive aggressively slip notes saying shut up under their door every week or so, that or scream in their face about it for hours. And getting a person with severe SA to that point is just impressive.

Not sure why I even pay rent living in this trash place. Hearing this all day everyday is driving me crazy.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Marakunda said:


> So mad, so stressed. The people who live above me are being so annoying and loud right now. I've complained to the caretaker a ton and nothing's being done about it.
> Please don't be that annoying person who's never lived in an apartment before and thinks they own the whole building. They obviously just don't care. So ****ing annoying.
> About ready to passive aggressively slip notes saying shut up under their door every week or so, that or scream in their face about it for hours. And getting a person with severe SA to that point is just impressive.
> 
> Not sure why I even pay rent living in this trash place. Hearing this all day everyday is driving me crazy.


Oh man.  That would drive anyone crazy.


----------



## Crisigv

Like a worthless, sick piece of garbage.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Like a worthless, sick piece of garbage.


No. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Who cares.


----------



## 0589471

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Who cares.


Oh monkey :squeeze :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Who cares.


Many people do care mate.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Uniman said:


> No. :hug


Seconded. :grin2:



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Oh monkey :squeeze :hug


Thanks missy. :hug



Uniman said:


> Many people do care mate.


Thanks man.


----------



## funnynihilist

Bad


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Seconded. :grin2:


:yes



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Thanks man.


You're welcome.


----------



## tea111red

really uncomfortable going out in public atm. look ick.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> really uncomfortable going out in public atm. look ick.


May feel that way, but when step out into public -


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> May feel that way, but when step out into public -


hahaha. i don't have that kind of effect.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed with a headache


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> hahaha. i don't have that kind of effect.


Maybe you do mon sheree (or whatever way it is spelt).


----------



## 0589471

Restless


----------



## tea111red

feel dread at possibly having to go out in public (the jungle) today.


----------



## SparklingWater

Curious, inquisitive, physically uncomfortable


----------



## Musicfan

Fine.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> feel dread at possibly having to go out in public (the jungle) today.


Watch out for those skunks.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Watch out for those skunks.


Lol


----------



## andy1984

been sick this week, took the week off work. idk also feel like quitting work and leaving town. ug i'm a walking disaster.


----------



## riverbird

Like I need a drink. I’m so frustrated right now.


----------



## CNikki

Lost.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Nervous about tomorrow.

But kinda looking forward to it now I guess. Getting up at 8 in the morning and guess I'll come back home at 10 pm. I have to make it exciting or else it will suck for like 13 hours.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling off


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cold. Cranky. Anxious. Lonely.


----------



## Flora20

Not good, my throat hurts again..


----------



## Deaf Mute

A bit frustrated... I wish I was a fast learner and my brain was above average intellect/processing.. everything's so slow atm I hate having to build up every detail. I don't have the same capabilities others do but I'm judged the same which means I'll always be lower, it sucks and is unfair. :l


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired and lonely after a long day.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Nervous about tomorrow.
> 
> But kinda looking forward to it now I guess. Getting up at 8 in the morning and guess I'll come back home at 10 pm. I have to make it exciting or else it will suck for like 13 hours.


Wish that it goes well.



Crisigv said:


> Feeling off


:hug



Flora20 said:


> Not good, my throat hurts again..


:hug



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Tired and lonely after a long day.


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Cold. Cranky. Anxious. Lonely.


:hug:squeeze



Flora20 said:


> Not good, my throat hurts again..


:hug:squeeze



Crisigv said:


> Feeling off


:hug:squeeze


----------



## Graeme1988

Not great at the moment. :crying:


----------



## Graeme1988

Just been trying to keep my mind occupied so I don't sit and think too much about how things have been for the last 3 years of my life.


----------



## Graeme1988

Been worrying about my mother a lot lately, because of her health issues.

But, no matter how much or often I try to make her see that she needs to help herself if she wants things to get better, she just dismisses my words as me _"nagging at her"_. She'd just rather complain n' cry-wolf and be emotionally abuse by being overly dramatic. Making things seem worse than they are.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

People often make posts here criticising people that may as well be about me. I'd also like to kill myself but imagine being too uncommitted to even manage that.

It seems the more frequently I try and fix my sleeping pattern the less it sticks. Just **** up again the next night instead of weeks-a month. So every few days now I'll stay up for over 24 hours. Which itself ****s with me more probably than having the same sleep/wake time but it just being insane times. It also messes with eating and stuff which all has a huge negative effect on my mood but.. I know that regardless of how I feel nothing but my mood will change and maybe some degree of mental stability.

People often say that if you don't do something it's because you don't want it enough which contributes further to the feeling of being dead/non existant. I guess I want basically **** all then. Not that anyone who says anything about anything has ever had to deal with my brain.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando




----------



## Mondo_Fernando




----------



## Mondo_Fernando




----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

@Uniman, I don't know how you do all these romantic songs. :crying: I don't like music with lyrics anymore.


----------



## That Random Guy

*Cold*

I feel cold-very cold. Also, bored-very bored.

I've been trying to get an interview for anything remotely IT for the past three months and I haven't gotten a peep.

Sucks too, 'cause I recently configured a neat ringtone on my phone. :lol


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> @Uniman, I don't know how you do all these romantic songs. :crying: *I don't like music with lyrics anymore.*


I think we need to make an exception for Bryan Adams mate.


----------



## Nitrogen

Can barely sleep anymore because of obsessive thoughts just ruminating constantly. if my brain could write for itself I would have a 250 page word salad and scatterbrained idea-filled book by the morning.

I probably need to look into medication for treating ocd but meds have failed me so many times and it's not just an emotional expense but a stressful financial one. Perhaps meds used to treat obsessive thoughts/compulsions are stronger than what I've been given for anxiety/depression or maybe the latter is a byproduct of the former making meds for the latter ineffective. I just want all of this to end and to know what quiet actually feels like.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Pete Beale

How one is feeling mate.

This one makes me cry -






Like the dog knows he is in pain and loves him.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

harrison said:


> I think we need to make an exception for Bryan Adams mate.


I ain't clicking on that or reading the lyrics. I can't even see the full song title actually on this screen. Those women are nice though. I'll just leave it at that. :b


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> I ain't clicking on that or reading the lyrics. I can't even see the full song title actually on this screen. Those women are nice though. I'll just leave it at that. :b


They're gorgeous.  (good song too)

Must be getting close to time for moving on mate - lots more women out there.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Uniman said:


> @Pete Beale
> 
> How one is feeling mate.
> 
> This one makes me cry -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Like the dog knows he is in pain and loves him.


I don't want to feel mate so have to avoid some songs.:crying: I'll stick to hardcore. :b


----------



## SplendidBob

I feel despair, and hopelessness.

1. My neck still stops me doing things
2. I have evidently so many OCD sexual issues now, its completely overwhelming, there is no way to treat them without being in a relationship, and then getting treatment
3. I don't want a relationship because I feel so ****ing grossed out by the OCD stuff.
4. I can't catch up with everyone else, no matter how much I try. 20 years of avoidance, still having my issues, makes it hopeless. 

I guess I am going to have to seriously downgrade my life expectations. Unfortunately that's a reversal of all the hard work I did in therapy, but I can't just keep trying stuff and finding out again, and again how ****ing bizarre I am.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

harrison said:


> They're gorgeous.  (good song too)
> 
> Must be getting close to time for moving on mate - lots more women out there.


I spent a few hours with one yesterday mate. Just going to keep trying to meet her and see what happens. Right now she's just a friend who at least wants to spend time with me so I'll take that.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SplendidBob said:


> I feel despair, and hopelessness.
> 
> 1. My neck still stops me doing things
> 2. I have evidently so many OCD sexual issues now, its completely overwhelming, there is no way to treat them without being in a relationship, and then getting treatment
> 3. I don't want a relationship because I feel so ****ing grossed out by the OCD stuff.
> 4. I can't catch up with everyone else, no matter how much I try. 20 years of avoidance, still having my issues, makes it hopeless.
> 
> I guess I am going to have to seriously downgrade my life expectations. Unfortunately that's a reversal of all the hard work I did in therapy, but I can't just keep trying stuff and finding out again, and again how ****ing bizarre I am.


The long term avoidance and intimacy issues are the worst for me. Trying to catch up, knock down certain walls, and opening up about somethings is so incredibly difficult to do.


----------



## SparklingWater

Surprised. Curiouser and curiouser. Hmmm


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> I spent a few hours with one yesterday mate. Just going to keep trying to meet her and see what happens. Right now she's just a friend who at least wants to spend time with me so I'll take that.


Sounds good mate - hope it works out for you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I think we need to make an exception for Bryan Adams mate.


:yes

Like the one you posted and this one -


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> I don't want to feel mate so have to avoid some songs.:crying: I'll stick to hardcore. :b


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

harrison said:


> Sounds good mate - hope it works out for you.


Thanks mate. :smile2: Not sure what I want from this, so just taking the opportunity to get to know someone else and see what happens.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Uniman said:


>


Lol I still ain't clicking on it. :b


----------



## LackOfNothing

The best I've felt in years!


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> Thanks mate. :smile2: Not sure what I want from this, so just taking the opportunity to get to know someone else and see what happens.


At least it gets you out and about a bit mate - and it's always nice to talk to someone new anyway.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Lol I still ain't clicking on it. :b


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

LackOfNothing said:


> The best I've felt in years!


Sarcasm? It's gotta be from a new member this early in January. :rub



harrison said:


> At least it gets you out and about a bit mate - and it's always nice to talk to someone new anyway.


Yeah. She's pretty open with me and I could tell that she needs someone to talk to and is trusting of me. I've just got to make sure I don't take on too much and try and keep things simple for now.



Uniman said:


>


Post some jungle music or leave me be. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Post some jungle music or leave me be. :b







:lol


----------



## funnynihilist

So tired of being cold and there is so much more winter to go


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Uniman said:


> :lol


Oi! lol >


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Numb and empty. I need a drink later on tonight methinks.


----------



## SparklingWater

Disappointed I've never been called a real b**** on wheels. Clearly not doing enough with my life.


----------



## Cletis

A little better.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Stir crazy.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Uniman It wasn't bad. I didn't get that paranoid. We were out all morning until 7 at night. I drank some wine after going out all day.

We had to take her to a mental health clinic, we went to get breakfast, then went to Sam's Club, then to a fast food place, went to pick up her granddaughter and took her to her daughter's house cause she was working and stayed there until her 14 year old granddaughter got back, then to a furniture store, then Walmart, then dinner and back home to watch a movie. They stay out a looooot. Lol I was ready to get back after awhile, though...I had to help her every now and then cause she's not in the best shape but can manage for the most part. Glad there wasn't near as much drama.


----------



## Neddy123

Sad. Even the weeks i feel i've done well at work (had conversations, felt relaxed) i come home on a Friday knowing the overwhelming likelihood is that i won't likely speak to anyone outside of a shop assistant until Monday :serious:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Neddy123 said:


> Sad. Even the weeks i feel i've done well at work (had conversations, felt relaxed) i come home on a Friday knowing the overwhelming likelihood is that i won't likely speak to anyone outside of a shop assistant until Monday :serious:


You never tried meetup groups? You're doing well working and having convo's, and feeling relaxed at work, so I reckon you could give meetup a go.


----------



## funnynihilist

My winter anxiety has really kicked in. For some reason I don't get seasonal depression, I get seasonal anxiety.
Not that I don't have anxiety all year round but in the winter it's not situational it's physical.
The lack of light and the cold seem to make my body think it's needs to excrete adrenaline for no real reason.
This results in tight muscles and muscle pain, problems focusing, light headedness, dry mouth, a general feeling of malaise.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> My winter anxiety has really kicked in. For some reason I don't get seasonal depression, I get seasonal anxiety.
> Not that I don't have anxiety all year round but in the winter it's not situational it's physical.
> The lack of light and the cold seem to make my body think it's needs to excrete adrenaline for no real reason.
> This results in tight muscles and muscle pain, problems focusing, light headedness, dry mouth, a general feeling of malaise.


:squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Uniman It wasn't bad. I didn't get that paranoid. We were out all morning until 7 at night. I drank some wine after going out all day.
> 
> We had to take her to a mental health clinic, we went to get breakfast, then went to Sam's Club, then to a fast food place, went to pick up her granddaughter and took her to her daughter's house cause she was working and stayed there until her 14 year old granddaughter got back, then to a furniture store, then Walmart, then dinner and back home to watch a movie. They stay out a looooot. Lol I was ready to get back after awhile, though...I had to help her every now and then cause she's not in the best shape but can manage for the most part. Glad there wasn't near as much drama.


Sounds like you had a good time.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Sat here on a friday night, watching The Pioneer Woman with my mother. :boogie :serious:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Oi! lol >


Song comes from George of the Jungle movie.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Uniman said:


> Song comes from George of the Jungle movie.


A romantic comedy. I can't watch that again. lol :b


----------



## Ekardy

Feeling low.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> A romantic comedy. I can't watch that again. lol :b


One of my favourites from Australia -


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Feeling low.


Just need the Chariot -






Chin up.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Uniman said:


> One of my favourites from Australia -


*pops Uniman on ignore list* lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> *pops Uniman on ignore list* lol


Post's a video of "the one". :b

Apparently he can't see it as is on ignore. :b


----------



## Ekardy

Uniman said:


> Just need the Chariot -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Chin up.


Thank you :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Thank you :squeeze


You're welcome


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Just love this upbeat music as puts me in a good mood -






Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, oi, oi. :yes


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Uniman said:


> Post's a video of "the one". :b
> 
> Apparently he can't see it as is on ignore. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


>


Good guard dog as the cats slip by. :b


----------



## Freefall012

Isolated and lonely.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Uniman said:


> Good guard dog as the cats slip by. :b


It's a shame he didn't knock himself out to be saved from the sounds of love songs! :b


----------



## SparklingWater

Meh, a bit restive


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> It's a shame he didn't knock himself out to be saved from the sounds of love songs! :b


One day we will get you on the love song train again.


----------



## funnynihilist

SamanthaStrange said:


> :squeeze


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> Sounds like you had a good time.


I did. 

She was talking about taking me to the beach in the summer. :stu So, I might ask for some vacation time at work to go to the beach, if I go. It would be fun to go. It would be awkward if her daughters are going but I need to get out places. It would do me some good.


----------



## Graeme1988

Slightly pissed off that my mother tends to ignore me at times. :frown2: And she seem to enjoy venting about her health issues than doing things to make those alleviate those problems. :get

Also, I think I might be in for the flu. Aside from that, cannae really complain.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I did.
> 
> She was talking about taking me to the beach in the summer. :stu So, I might ask for some vacation time at work to go to the beach, if I go. It would be fun to go. It would be awkward if her daughters are going but I need to get out places. It would do me some good.


That is awesome. 

Getting some fresh air, relaxing time off.

Make sure wear sunscreen, or coverup enough with a hat, long sleeve clothes, etc.

Getting sunburnt is not a nice life experience and can make you age quicker, feel hot when get sunburnt.


----------



## Nitrogen

Self-conscious and awkward. I don't know why lately (maybe it's adjusting to socializing/being out in the world again after a long period of solitude) but I've been coming across as more aloof, astray? preoccupied? aggressive? A combination of traits used to describe someone who seems anxious but also a total a-hole. I don't mean it either, but it's been especially hard for me to talk and have words come out in a coherent sentence and all day today I was mentally flagellating myself after talking because 90% of what I said today came out awkwardly or too quiet.

I don't know what's up but I feel invisible or like I'm dead. Nothing feels quite right.


----------



## tea111red

eh


----------



## funnynihilist

Feelin jank


----------



## tea111red

^lol @ your user title.


----------



## SparklingWater

My neck, shoulders and back are very tight and creaky. So physically uncomfortable. But overall pretty content and at ease. A little bit of hope and excitement just at the very edges of my awareness.


----------



## Chris S W

Had quite a bad emotional reaction to something I read. Haven't felt that for a relatively long time, although this was just a fraction of what it once was. Sad feeling is lingering. And thoughts won't let it go.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> eh


I was thinking that when watching this as they were awkward moments -






And I was :lol as the Mascots are hilarious. :lol


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am feeling very sad and lonely for some reason, and I do not know why. Hug me please.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am feeling very sad and lonely for some reason, and I do not know why. Hug me please.


Maybe this might help mate -


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@Uniman
Thanks.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@iAmCodeMonkey

You're welcome.


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am feeling very sad and lonely for some reason, and I do not know why. Hug me please.


 I'm sorry you feel this way, kind of feeling the same.

I'm even more sorry this virtual hug is all I can offer in terms of hugs. :squeeze
Any time you need one just let me know.


----------



## Crisigv

miserable and unmotivated


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> I'm sorry you feel this way, kind of feeling the same.
> 
> I'm even more sorry this virtual hug is all I can offer in terms of hugs. :squeeze
> Any time you need one just let me know.


Sorry to hear you feel the same, and I appreciate the offer of kindness. Thank you.  :hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> miserable and unmotivated


:hug:squeeze


----------



## The Linux Guy

I wish I could clear my mind at will. I'm still bothered by a woman who lied to me 3 years ago. I'm also upset with another woman who years ago told me that I couldn't talk about what I believed with her anymore. How can you be friends with someone who won't allow you talk about the number 1 thing that is most dear to you? I wasn't trying to convert her. I'm still upset with yet another woman who left me messages in three different locations and then got upset with my response due to the fact that I didn't read all three prior to responding. We never spoke again. All this stuff happened years and years ago, but I still remember it all.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I_Exist said:


> I wish I could clear my mind at will. I'm still bothered by a woman who lied to me 3 years ago. I'm also upset with another woman who years ago told me that I couldn't talk about what I believed with her anymore. How can you be friends with someone who won't allow you talk about the number 1 thing that is most dear to you? I wasn't trying to convert her. I'm still upset with yet another woman who left me messages in three different locations and then got upset with my response due to the fact that I didn't read all three prior to responding. We never spoke again. All this stuff happened years and years ago, but I still remember it all.


 Sorry to hear that man. :rub


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

lily said:


> I'm so lonely!! I want company from others I like to talk to


:squeeze:hug


----------



## lily

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :squeeze:hug


Thank you! :grin2:


----------



## The Linux Guy

lily said:


> I'm so lonely!! I want company from others I like to talk to


I think most of us are in the same boat. :squeeze



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sorry to hear that man. :rub


It's just stuff that's gotten in me from these years of communicating over the Internet. It's like a boat taking on water. It floats but it doesn't float as well as it used too. What bothers me the most is how many online relationships fell apart in a very unnecessary manner. For example one girl broke up with me. There was actually no reason to break up with me. Because the chances of us ever being together was slim to none. She basically could of just let the relationship die out on it's own. But because she ended it the way she did, I went into depression for a month, and even though we kept talking there was always friction between us. We had a different view on things. My view is when you officially break it off with someone you and them should go your separate ways and try not to bother each other. Where as her view was you break things off and go back to just being friends. :stu That sort of thing doesn't compute with me very well.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> miserable and unmotivated


:hug


----------



## twistix

Concerned for my mother


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel left out.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel a little better than I was this morning and afternoon. Posting here and there here on SAS kind of helped a bit. I don't know how long it will last. I need a lonnnnnng break from my inner turmoil. 8 years is far too long.


----------



## Suchness

Tired, as usual.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Mixture of relief and extreme depression...


----------



## discopotato

Exhausted. I'm so sleepy but my mind keeps me awake 
I haven't slept properly in forever.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

discopotato said:


> Exhausted. I'm so sleepy but my mind keeps me awake
> I haven't slept properly in forever.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


:hug:squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

twistix said:


> Concerned for my mother


:hug:squeeze


----------



## discopotato

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug:squeeze


:squeeze

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Suchness

discopotato said:


> Exhausted. I'm so sleepy but my mind keeps me awake
> I haven't slept properly in forever.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


If only we could sleep like a sack of potatoes.


----------



## rockyraccoon

I feel the same as both of you.



lily said:


> I'm so lonely!! I want company from others I like to talk to





I_Exist said:


> I feel left out.





discopotato said:


> Exhausted. I'm so sleepy but my mind keeps me awake
> I haven't slept properly in forever.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I get that to and it sucks. I desperately want to sleep but there is some mental impediment that prevents me. It is really both mentally and physically draining. A good night's sleep goes a long way for me but it's not often I get them. Hopefully you will be able to get some good rest.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Exhausted. I'm so sleepy but my mind keeps me awake
> I haven't slept properly in forever.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Me too, exhausted.

Think we need new mufflers (joking about mufflers). :b


----------



## LackOfNothing

Pete Beale said:


> Sarcasm? It's gotta be from a new member this early in January. :rub


No sarcasm


----------



## SparklingWater

Happy, hopeful, pleased


----------



## Graeme1988

Concerned about my mother's health. Yet, at the same wishing I wasn't burdened with the responsibility of caring for her. Just because I treated her better than my older siblings. It's been that way since I was 12 for *****'s sake! You'd think the roles would be reversed, what with me being disabled?


----------



## discopotato

Suchness said:


> If only we could sleep like a sack of potatoes.


I'll save a spot for you in my cold and dark potato sack



Uniman said:


> Me too, exhausted.
> 
> Think we need new mufflers (joking about mufflers). :b


Silly Groot :b I already have a stockpile of mufflers hoho



rockyraccoon said:


> I feel the same as both of you.
> 
> I get that to and it sucks. I desperately want to sleep but there is some mental impediment that prevents me. It is really both mentally and physically draining. A good night's sleep goes a long way for me but it's not often I get them. Hopefully you will be able to get some good rest.


Exactly. My mind goes into overdrive at night and refuse to relax. It sucks being exhausted all the time. Thanks  I hope you'll be able to get some good rest as well

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Silly Groot :b I already have a stockpile of mufflers hoho


Strewth, do you know me mate Nugget who has a stock pile about as big as a Donk?


----------



## RelinquishedHell

A cyclone of stress and worry. For a few minutes, I feel confident that I can do life, then the next minute, I feel like I'm too damaged and stand no chance in this dark world.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Like a miserable ******* who can't fix ****. Letting go of things is hard.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> Letting go of things is hard.


I sure don't blame you on that one. :rub


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I sure don't blame you on that one. :rub


It's hard to forget about people mate, especially when getting close to one is such a rare thing. So tired of feeling like this and the depression not letting me go.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Feeling a little better about work, but I wish I knew how to drive so I wouldn't have to bother anybody about taking me there.


----------



## SplendidBob

Weird as ****. No other way to put it.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

SplendidBob said:


> Weird as ****. No other way to put it.


Good weird or bad weird?


----------



## SplendidBob

SamanthaStrange said:


> Good weird or bad weird?


Very bad weird


----------



## SamanthaStrange

SplendidBob said:


> Very bad weird


I hope it passes soon. :squeeze


----------



## SplendidBob

SamanthaStrange said:


> I hope it passes soon. :squeeze


Thank you lovely


----------



## SparklingWater

Frustrated!


----------



## GeomTech

Feeling as if I'm surrounded by angry logicians wherever I go.


----------



## funnynihilist

Tired of it all.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> I feel really sad about something but I'm not going write it, I hope I find the right friend someday, that was my New year's resolution


I hope you find that friend, lily.


----------



## SparklingWater

Tired, bored, a bit stressed and conflicted


----------



## andy1984

alone, very much alone


----------



## Neddy123

Depressed - just read a horrible thread on another forum about people who have little relationship experience 30+ and wow, people are harsh.


Or i actually AM a total freak


One or the other


----------



## Fun Spirit

I am annoyed. I keep seeing the number :05 on the clock back to back like crazy. 


A little background story: I first notice this happening some time in 2011. Every time I would happen to look at a digital clock it would read :05 in whichever hour it was during that time. 11:05, 1:05 etc to give you an example. The number 5 is my birth date number. Believe me, when you're constantly seeing your birth date number over and over again when you happen to look up at a clock you would believe that you're going to die. I had that fear. Eventually the number stopped appearing. I later found out about the meaning to Number 5. It mean major change.


Fast forward to September of 2018 right after my family and I have moved to another State in the U.S the number have returned. It is back again. Why has it return after 7 years I have no clue. I should reflect on everything I have been through in my life from 2011 up until now 2019 and see how it connects with change. I can say I, my family and my life been through some MAJOR changes but those changes happen when I was NOT seeing the number 5. Maybe it was a warning/signaling me? And now perhaps it has returned again perhaps it is signaling me again for another MAJOR change to come in the near future? I am not quite sure. I just know that I am getting really annoyed and mad. The number is haunting me. They say it is the Universe/the Angels trying to get your attention and that you should ask them what they want to tell you. They even say to listen. I do that but I'm not getting anything. I been asking about my life for 7 years no offense to God. This is why I am getting annoyed and mad. I wish they would tell me or give me the ability or knowledge to know. This is why I feel stuck and lost in my life. They even say seeing repeating numbers mean you are on the right path in life. HOW??? Though I am a believer of the saying "you are where you're at for a reason" but even so I just wish whatever my life purpose, my calling, whatever I came here on this Earth to do would surface up. 


Sent from Nelly's Air Force One using Tapatalk


----------



## discopotato

Terrible. I just wish I could call her. She was the only person I could call on nights like these


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Terrible. I just wish I could call her. She was the only person I could call on nights like these


:hug


----------



## funnynihilist

Me: Hey life! Where are my consolation prizes?
Life: You already got them
Me: Oh


----------



## discopotato

Uniman said:


> :hug


:squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Invisible, and not in a good way. Sometimes I wish I wasn't alive, then I would not have to worry about being used by people. Oh well.



discopotato said:


> Terrible. I just wish I could call her. She was the only person I could call on nights like these


:hug :squeeze


----------



## 0589471

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Invisible, and not in a good way. Sometimes I wish I wasn't alive, then I would not have to worry about being used by people. Oh well.


:squeeze noooo, monkey  :hug


----------



## Ekardy

Sad, disappointed, upset, I just need a hug.


----------



## 0589471

Ekardy said:


> Sad, disappointed, upset, I just need a hug.


:hugs ♡ you kardy


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ekardy said:


> Sad, disappointed, upset, I just need a hug.


Here's an e-hug for ekardy. :squeeze


----------



## rockyraccoon

Ekardy said:


> Sad, disappointed, upset, I just need a hug.


----------



## twistix

Insignificant


----------



## SamanthaStrange

twistix said:


> Insignificant


:squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> :squeeze


Haka uppe. 

Lets hope I got that right.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Sad, disappointed, upset, I just need a hug.


Here you go missy :blush :hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> :squeeze noooo, monkey  :hug


Thanks sweetheart.


----------



## Ekardy

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> :hugs ♡ you kardy





SamanthaStrange said:


> Here's an e-hug for ekardy. :squeeze












@rockyraccoon @iAmCodeMonkey
Thank you. :squeeze

I'm just trying not to revert back to closing myself off, trying to connect with people is becoming overwhelming and I feel like I'm just not coming across how I wish I did.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> I'm just trying not to revert back to closing myself off, trying to connect with people is becoming overwhelming and I feel like I'm just not coming across how I wish I did.


:squeeze I can totally see where you are coming from. I have the same problem with connecting to people.


----------



## discopotato

Uniman said:


> Haka uppe.
> 
> Lets hope I got that right.


Haha Close enough :teeth


----------



## Rezx

Bummed Out... but also hopeful. Things must change, things are going to change. 
One step at an time.


----------



## Crisigv

Blah


----------



## 3stacks

Sad, lonely and bored out of my damn head


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Haha Close enough :teeth


It was upp wasn't it?

:b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Blah


:hug



3stacks said:


> Sad, lonely and bored out of my damn head


Sorry to hear mate.

Let me tell you a story of a woman named Cyndi -


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Sad, lonely and bored out of my damn head
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry to hear mate.
> 
> Let me tell you a story of a woman named Cyndi -
Click to expand...

 I know this story. I like this song haha


----------



## Ckg2011

So sad, lonely, and depressed.  :cry :cry


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> I know this story. I like this song haha


Then let me tell you the story of the Princess Bride -


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ckg2011 said:


> So sad, lonely, and depressed.  :cry :cry


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## Ckg2011

Wish I had someone to love and cuddle with but that doesn't seem like it will ever happen. I guess nobody wants a 36 year old virgin who lives with his parents. :cry :cry 

I have a job but cannot afford to move out. I am doomed to be alone forever. I am so lonely. :cry :cry


----------



## discopotato

Uniman said:


> It was upp wasn't it?
> 
> :b


*ryck upp dig :b 
I know, it makes no sense.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ckg2011 said:


> Wish I had someone to love and cuddle with but that doesn't seem like it will ever happen. I guess nobody wants a 36 year old virgin who lives with his parents. :cry :cry
> 
> I have a job but cannot afford to move out. I am doomed to be alone forever. I am so lonely. :cry :cry


Mate, don't let it get to you.

There will be someone out there for you.

Stay strong mate.



discopotato said:


> *ryck upp dig :b
> I know, it makes no sense.


I get confused with the Swiss German version (it is līke what?). :b


----------



## twistix

Ckg2011 said:


> Wish I had someone to love and cuddle with but that doesn't seem like it will ever happen. I guess nobody wants a 36 year old virgin who lives with his parents. :cry :cry
> 
> I have a job but cannot afford to move out. I am doomed to be alone forever. I am so lonely. :cry :cry


:hug I suspect I'll be alone too


----------



## twistix

Uniman said:


> Then let me tell you the story of the Princess Bride -


I like that story, go on (you can skip the kissing parts)


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

twistix said:


> I like that story, go on


Once upon a time in ä land far far away -


----------



## discopotato

Uniman said:


> I get confused with the Swiss German version (it is līke what?). :b


I get confused too :b


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

twistix said:


> Insignificant


:hug:squeeze


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> Then let me tell you the story of the Princess Bride -


I've always wanted to watch that I just never seem to get around to actually watching it lol


----------



## twistix

3stacks said:


> I've always wanted to watch that I just never seem to get around to actually watching it lol


:O you must


----------



## SamanthaStrange

twistix said:


> :O you must


I second this. I finally got @Karsten to watch it, lol.


----------



## 3stacks

twistix said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> I've always wanted to watch that I just never seem to get around to actually watching it lol
> 
> 
> 
> /forum/images/SAS_2015/smilies/tango_face_surprise.png you must
Click to expand...

 it's one of your favourites?


----------



## Karsten

SamanthaStrange said:


> I second this. I finally got @Karsten to watch it, lol.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> I get confused too :b


That includes us both. :b

I hear it involves pushing an object down the ice -






Swiss medical team on their way to you.

I hear it is called Cool Runnings.

Now I'm feeling silly.


----------



## karenw

Rough, customers helped me yesterday.


----------



## Suchness

Like ****, only had 4 hours sleep and had to go out for a few hours.


----------



## Iwannabenormal

Someone have stolen my new favorite bra. I can't believe it and I'm really pissed off.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Holy **** I have seething hatred for my parents rn especially father, I can't believe I'm related and share the same genes.. I just look in the mirror and want to kill myself because it doesn't feel like my body, I don't feel like me, I just feel like their trash.

If I created something it would not be this. **** me. Why do people have to be so ****ing stupid, why do my parents have to be so ****ing stupid why is everything so disappointing I hate them.

[EDIT]

Omfgggggggggggg, there was a bunch of good rice cooked and now it's gone... and now all the ****ty rice you made hoarded in containers is still there, **** YOU.. Wtf use your rice that you hoarded ****ing idiot. Ffs, I have to deal with this ****ty tier -99999 body because of you and am trying my best and you just **** everything up. I don't care how small an issue, it's to that point where I need diamond precision to actually make something of myself because you ****ed up our whole lives ****ing idiot. I hate you.

God **** you, all you do is sit there drinking beer and watching tv, you don't even own the ****ing house idiot, don't relax when it's a stranger's house you moron. **** you, you think you're 'the man' when you haven't even completed your objectives as a supposed "leader" and father (not that I consider you one at all) and you want me to ****ing listen to you? Are you joking, you're a ****ing failure and loser you idiot, why would I listen to you. Fair enough if you're a jerk BUT SUCCESSFUL, but you're a loser and NOT EVEN LOVING OR EMPATHETIC OR HUMBLE OR WISE OR A MENTOR. You're the ****ing worst. You don't even care about your children. You're just wasting away waiting to die because you don't have to think about what happens in the future when we're all struggling because of you.

**** you. So much. I hate you. Why the **** did I have to be the child of a loser father who thinks he's top **** when he's a ****ing pleb. Look at yourself honestly for once you ****ing idiot, you can't even admit your own catastrophic life mistakes which denies you any respect. God you're pathetic I cannot, I ****ing cannot believe I'm spawned from you. I'm going to puke, **** this, I ****ing hate being related to such a disgusting wretched vile human.

What did you teach me? What skills did you pass on? What wisdom? What mentorship? ****ing nothing, you loser. Everything I've learned was from other people, other families.

You kept me weak all these years so you can feel above someone because you're a ****ing piece of **** ******* yet at the same time you want me to be something great to reflect your own ego. Just **** you. I hate you so much, I hope if I die before you (which could be likely at this rate) you feel eternal guilt and my full hatred for you and all your flaws.

**** I have a headache now from this...

FML I hate this life.


----------



## tea111red

pretty good atm. the sound of this guy's motorcycle isn't even pissing me off right now.


----------



## twistix

3stacks said:


> it's one of your favourites?


Go watch it now


----------



## 3stacks

twistix said:


> Go watch it now


Haha fiiine I will


----------



## discopotato

Uniman said:


> That includes us both. :b
> 
> I hear it involves pushing an object down the ice -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Swiss medical team on their way to you.
> 
> I hear it is called Cool Runnings.
> 
> Now I'm feeling silly.


Better than the Swedish Medical team :b


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling good recently. I guess I have a new friend now, which is nice. Not someone close to my age, though. But it's still nice. She talks about all kinds of things and wants to take me places. If I wasn't so paranoid 3 years ago when I first met her, maybe I would've been more satisfied with my life then and actually hung out with her occasionally other than just during Christmas those two times. I'll see how this goes. Seems promising but not 100 percent sure. Not even 90 percent sure. Just have to go with the flow.


----------



## Ckg2011

twistix said:


> :hug I suspect I'll be alone too


 I hope you find someone and fill your life with love. :hug


----------



## Ekardy

I am feeling abandoned.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> pretty good atm. the sound of this guy's motorcycle isn't even pissing me off right now.


Good to hear. Revs motorcycle engine and says Ducati (Instead of Ferrari). :b



discopotato said:


> Better than the Swedish Medical team :b


Very, very tight clothing, so might be singing those high notes if know what I mean. :b



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feeling good recently. I guess I have a new friend now, which is nice. Not someone close to my age, though. But it's still nice. She talks about all kinds of things and wants to take me places. If I wasn't so paranoid 3 years ago when I first met her, maybe I would've been more satisfied with my life then and actually hung out with her occasionally other than just during Christmas those two times. I'll see how this goes. Seems promising but not 100 percent sure. Not even 90 percent sure. Just have to go with the flow.


That is awesome. Something good in your life making you happy.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> I am feeling abandoned.


:hug:squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and left out. My brother and sister are having an animated conversation. But when they talk to me, they're barely there. :rain


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Sad and left out. My brother and sister are having an animated conversation. But when they talk to me, they're barely there. :rain


Sorry to hear. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Sad and left out. My brother and sister are having an animated conversation. But when they talk to me, they're barely there. :rain


:hug:squeeze


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Revs motorcycle engine and says Ducati (Instead of Ferrari). :b


for 10 min?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> for 10 min?


Been watching too much -






:b


----------



## Blue Dino

Uncertain, worrisome and scared.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Blue Dino said:


> Uncertain, worrisome and scared.


:hug


----------



## fluorish

I want to love myself again. “Realising being off anti depressants is harder than I thought it would be”


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel so happy. I told my Mom about SAS. Then I was able to tell her about my friend. 

Sent from Nelly's Air Force One using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bad.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Insignificant.


----------



## rockyraccoon

Sad, depressed, and alone. Nobody cares; it sucks to be part of this world sometimes, and I'm a total ****up.


----------



## lily

rockyraccoon said:


> Sad, depressed, and alone. Nobody cares; it sucks to be part of this world sometimes, and I'm a total ****up.


I care that you're sad, depressed and alone. Hope you feel better soon.


----------



## rockyraccoon

lily said:


> I care that you're sad, depressed and alone. Hope you feel better soon.


Thanks lily, it is nice of you to respond. There's just a lot of **** I'm dealing with right now and it makes life difficult.


----------



## Ekardy

rockyraccoon said:


> Sad, depressed, and alone. Nobody cares; it sucks to be part of this world sometimes, and I'm a total ****up.


You're not a **** up. 
And I care. :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

rockyraccoon said:


> Sad, depressed, and alone. Nobody cares; it sucks to be part of this world sometimes, and I'm a total ****up.


:rub


----------



## CNikki

Pretty sure I'm a bit hypomanic. It scares me at times even though it isn't full-blown mania. At least with the latter one wouldn't give a **** what they do.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Pretty sure I'm a bit hypomanic. It scares me at times even though it isn't full-blown mania. At least with the latter one wouldn't give a **** what they do.


:hug:squeeze


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Same old same old.


----------



## Graeme1988

Trying to keep one of my New Year’s Resolutions, hopefully I can achieve it.


----------



## harrison

CNikki said:


> Pretty sure I'm a bit hypomanic. It scares me at times even though it isn't full-blown mania. *At least with the latter one wouldn't give a **** what they do*.


That's actually true. You only really care later when you get home and you're wife wants to divorce you. :O

Hypomania is weird - you still have some sense of what's happening and it's very confusing. Hope you feel better soon anyway.


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Trying to keep one of my New Year's Resolutions, hopefully I can achieve it.


blessings!


----------



## Karsten

Drained. Worn out. I've felt this way for a week now. I can't stand it.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> blessings!


Thanks, lily.

It's still early days yet, but if I keep focused. ah think I might achieve the _"get back in shape/lose weight"_ resolution I made last month. My insomnia is definitely not as bad as it used to be since I reduced my caffeine intake.


----------



## rockyraccoon

Ekardy said:


> You're not a **** up.
> And I care. :squeeze


Thanks it's nice to know someone can see worth in me when I can't:squeeze



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub


Appreciate it bro, you always have kind words:rub


----------



## Ekardy

Karsten said:


> Drained. Worn out. I've felt this way for a week now. I can't stand it.


Go crazy and drink a soda? Make a grilled cheese and watch a movie that will relax you instead of stimulate you.

Or try and go for a walk.


----------



## Neddy123

Scared


----------



## riverbird

Nervous. I have an appointment with a new therapist tomorrow. It will be my first male therapist which adds stress because I don’t know how comfortable I’ll be opening up to him. The clinic is near one of my favorite book stores though, so at least I’ll have something to look forward to, to get me through the appointment.


----------



## CNikki

harrison said:


> That's actually true. You only really care later when you get home and you're wife wants to divorce you. :O
> 
> Hypomania is weird - you still have some sense of what's happening and it's very confusing. Hope you feel better soon anyway.


And most times when you are 'aware of it' it just creates further anxiety... It's a toss because I know that eventually the crash will end up happening, which leads to sluggishness and depression (usually), and that while it can be beneficial (the hypomania) it still leaves one on the edge since you don't really know how far it can go. "Too good to be true" is more like it.

I still make stupid decisions either way, but that's another subject.

Thank you.


----------



## coeur_brise

It's my birthday. That said, I'm feeling a little lightheaded with a touch of a tension headache. Maybe could use a drink. I got my period today however I just now got a glimpse of what could be good so I will follow that psychic flash and try to get some fresh air or something. I feel flighty yet stuck. I don't believe this is an uncommon feeling. I should be happy. Brb, getting happy.


----------



## discopotato

coeur_brise said:


> It's my birthday. That said, I'm feeling a little lightheaded with a touch of a tension headache. Maybe could use a drink. I got my period today however I just now got a glimpse of what could be good so I will follow that psychic flash and try to get some fresh air or something. I feel flighty yet stuck. I don't believe this is an uncommon feeling. I should be happy. Brb, getting happy.


Happy birthday! :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Very anxious and depressed.


----------



## SplendidBob

Restless legs, ****ing agomelatine. Can't sleep. 4 am. Don't need this.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

coeur_brise said:


> It's my birthday. That said, I'm feeling a little lightheaded with a touch of a tension headache. Maybe could use a drink. I got my period today however I just now got a glimpse of what could be good so I will follow that psychic flash and try to get some fresh air or something. I feel flighty yet stuck. I don't believe this is an uncommon feeling. I should be happy. Brb, getting happy.


Happy Birthday.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I need a drink. :drunk :lol


coeur_brise said:


> It's my birthday. That said, I'm feeling a little lightheaded with a touch of a tension headache. Maybe could use a drink. I got my period today however I just now got a glimpse of what could be good so I will follow that psychic flash and try to get some fresh air or something. I feel flighty yet stuck. I don't believe this is an uncommon feeling. I should be happy. Brb, getting happy.


 Happy birthday! :boogie


SamanthaStrange said:


> Very anxious and depressed.


:hug:squeeze


SplendidBob said:


> Restless legs, ****ing agomelatine. Can't sleep. 4 am. Don't need this.


:rub


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug:squeeze


Thank you.


----------



## SplendidBob

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub


Cheers.

Just left a message with GP's. Gonna stop the agomelatine, ****. Was helping my neck pain I think.

Can't win atm.


----------



## twistix

SamanthaStrange said:


> Very anxious and depressed.


Cup of tea?


----------



## twistix

Karsten said:


> Drained. Worn out. I've felt this way for a week now. I can't stand it.


Cup of tea?


----------



## Crisigv

BleedingHearts said:


> just pretty awesome to see there's still great, kind people out there that aren't in it just for the money
> received this in the mail just now from the vet i go to regarding my dog passing on christmas and i guess i just wasn't expecting it. they've gone above and beyond and even refunded the med costs
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> * *


It's nice to know that people still care, eh? Sometimes it seems like everyone is in it for themselves. I'm sorry about the loss of your dog.

I'm feeling alone.


----------



## twistix

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Insignificant.


Tea?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

BleedingHearts said:


> just pretty awesome to see there's still great, kind people out there that aren't in it just for the money
> received this in the mail just now from the vet i go to regarding my dog passing on christmas and i guess i just wasn't expecting it. they've gone above and beyond and even refunded the med costs
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> * *


Sorry to hear about your pet passing.  :rub
Awesome to hear about the vet sending you that letter, though.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

twistix said:


> Cup of tea?


Yes, please.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> I'm feeling alone.


Sorry to hear that.  :hug :squeeze "hugs"



twistix said:


> Tea?


Alcohol would be better right now. :lol


----------



## twistix

SamanthaStrange said:


> Yes, please.


----------



## twistix

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Alcohol would be better right now. :lol


I don't drink so I have none to offer


----------



## SamanthaStrange

twistix said:


>


Thank you.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

twistix said:


>


This is adorable.:grin2:


----------



## twistix

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> This is adorable.:grin2:


Kettle is on if you change your mind


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

twistix said:


> Kettle is on if you change your mind


:kiss::kiss:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

BleedingHearts said:


> just pretty awesome to see there's still great, kind people out there that aren't in it just for the money
> received this in the mail just now from the vet i go to regarding my dog passing on christmas and i guess i just wasn't expecting it. they've gone above and beyond and even refunded the med costs
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> * *


Sorry to hear about your dog mate.

Not always the case mate. I would get a second opinion from another vet (they should be able to request the files from that vet).


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

BleedingHearts said:


> thank you
> it was a rare condition he came down with and only had a 25% chance at living by taking the medication so I think wherever I took him it would have been slim. the meds unfortunately didn't work but I still had to try


You're welcome mate.

Oh, I see what you mean.

Sometimes businesses use stratagems like that because they are trying to avoid paying more money on top of med cost's (might have been other medicine that worked better or something else). Just something to be aware of when things like that happen and dealing with businesses.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

BleedingHearts said:


> i appreciate it


No problem.


----------



## coeur_brise

discopotato said:


> Happy birthday! :squeeze





Uniman said:


> Happy Birthday.





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I need a drink. :drunk :lol
> 
> Happy birthday! :boogie
> 
> :hug:squeeze
> :rub


(Srsly, you guys are wonderful and that's not the alcohol talking. ) Thanks, thanks, and thanks!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

coeur_brise said:


> (Srsly, you guys are wonderful and that's not the alcohol talking. ) Thanks, thanks, and thanks!


You're welcome.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

****e as usual


----------



## twistix

Hurt


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

twistix said:


> Hurt


Sometimes it feels like the hurting never stops.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

deetzy said:


> _Annoyed because my neighbors love to slam their doors constantly. I'd like to tell them to stfu but I'm not gonna._


My neighbours are pretty noisy but it doesn't bother me because they're not arseholes. I don't feel like the noise is anti social. I think some people would complain about the noise though.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

deetzy said:


> Ah. I don't know mine and never tried talking to them, that's just how I am with most people. What do you mean by noise being anti social?


I mean noise that's flat out disrespectful or designed to wind you up, to piss you off. I have doors banging, sometimes so hard the house shakes a bit lol, dogs barking all day, kid who's a nightmare, screaming all the time, and they argue, loudly, but they're actually some of the best neighbours I've ever had. They're just noisy. They've took on too much and it's got on top of them. They're actually ok people, just stressed and trying to live like everyone else. I've had some terrible, completely antisocial neighbours before, and these are a dream compared to them, even if they're noisy.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

deetzy said:


> Yeah I do suppose that it would make the noise better if you actually knew the people. I think after some time though, even if they were best neighbors the noise would get to me. It breaks the peacefulness.


I remember a time when my depression and anxiety were really, really bad, and I would get wound up more easily over noise. A guy on here recorded his neighbour being noisy a while back, and even with the volume up full and my ear by the speakers, I could barely hear anything. lol

I think some of us get wound up too easily and get paranoid, so we take things personally. Maybe your neighbours noise isn't that bad, it's nothing personal, but it's affecting you more than it should, because of your mood.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

deetzy said:


> Lol that's pretty bad.
> Yeah you're right that is definitely me and I actually do feel like a dick for feeling this way but I don't know what to do about it.


Just gotta ask yourself if it's really that bad. It's so easy to get wound up by everything when you're grumpy.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

deetzy said:


> Yeah it is because it's constant and I wasn't grumpy until it started.


How many slams a day are going on lol and is there any other noise? I dunno, maybe slaughtering them with a 12 gauge Mossberg is the answer. :b


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

deetzy said:


> I dunno I'm trying to get my mind off of it. Seems like there's people coming in and out repeatedly though. Yeah it could be an answer but not one I'd pick! lol.


I nearly put a brick through an old neighbours window when she flooded the garden with a big paddling pool. The house is on higher level, and she just emptied the whole thing on to the garden. Wish I'd had a Mossberg to shoot the pool, then her.> She was a complete nightmare. I think she had Histrionic and Anti Social Personality Disorder.


----------



## peacewillwinfearwilllose

I feel this heavy, incessant loneliness lingering around me. I fill my days with distractions so that I can ignore it, but it always finds a way of creeping up on me. I'm tired of feeling anxious all the time, I feel like I am never really seen by anyone because I'm stuck in my own head.


----------



## Ekardy

I feel like running away, from all of it.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious, depressed, lonely, and cold. :bah


----------



## Graeme1988

Pissed off that I'm constantly having to put up with the dysfunctional drama my family causes...

And, still, they don't get why I don't particularly like being around 'em

On top of that, my mother keeps telling that - due to my physical disability - ah _"would'nae cope on ma ain"_. :bash _Which is a lovely message to reinforce, isn't it? Add to that tha f&#8230;ckin' ironic twist that my mum says I'm supposed to be *her* carer_. As I've been for most of teens and adult life. And, well, y'see why I'm ragin'...

Never mind that she's one partly responsible for her declining health cuz she refuses to seek help. Naw, just f&#8230;ckin' bemoan yer situation, feel sorry fur yersel' n' sleep most o' the day. That'll cure yer health issues, won't it?

But according to my mum, I'm _"just nagging"_ every time ah show even slightest concern, or suggest something like eating a wee bit more healthier. Which is fine, it won't be me who takes her death hardest when that day comes, anyway... considering how fractured our relationship has been for the last 15 years.


----------



## funnynihilist

Blah as always


----------



## CNikki

I feel a bit alienated and betrayed. Nothing new, but it hurts that it may not change regardless of what I do.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling oddly out of it today. Been wanting to lay down all day and haven't had an appetite at all. But I've been getting up to do things cause I don't want to be lazy.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

This is sweet, cute -






:crying:


----------



## Crisigv

Absolutely hated. And sad and lonely. I'm a failure.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Absolutely hated. And sad and lonely. I'm a failure.


Nope. :hug

You are amazing.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> I feel like running away, from all of it.


Please don't. :hug 


SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious, depressed, lonely, and cold. :bah


Poor thing! :hug 


CNikki said:


> I feel a bit alienated and betrayed. Nothing new, but it hurts that it may not change regardless of what I do.


Sorry you feel that way. :hug 


Crisigv said:


> Absolutely hated. And sad and lonely. I'm a failure.


You are not a failure. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

deetzy said:


> What is Histrionic disorder?


https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b&q=Histrionic+disorder


> *Histrionic* personality *disorder* (HPD) is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as a personality *disorder* characterized by a pattern of excessive attention-seeking emotions, usually beginning in early adulthood, including inappropriately seductive behavior and an excessive need for approval.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Grumpy in a nostalgic way :B


----------



## scooby

I'm in a place of limbo between needing to fall asleep, and not wanting to fall asleep.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

This -






:crying:


----------



## Fun Spirit

Sad and hurt.

I came across some pictures in my email of my dad and I. I don't think I will ever truly get over it. Scar for life. Better for me to not talk about him or see the things that would trigger an emotional response.

_Sent at 2am in MTV's penthouse jacuzzi using Tapatalk_


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Fun Spirit

:hug


----------



## Graeme1988

Not doing so great... 

Quite depressed when I sit n’ think about how things were in my past with regards to my family. Seems little has changed in terms of how I’m treated. Dysfunctional people aren’t folk ya should have to tolerate n’ be nice to just cuz they happen to be family.


----------



## Gamgee

Completely directionless in life and low in general.


----------



## Graeme1988

Starting to doubt my ability as musician. Even though I don’t see masel’ as yin — not a proper one anyway.

Still finding it hard to believe that anywhere close to even being good at playing the guitar or piano.


----------



## Graeme1988

Gamgee said:


> Completely directionless in life and low in general.


Yeah, I can definitely relate. :frown2:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Completely knackered. Spent 9 and a half hours socializing with my new female friend. Not sure where this will go. Guess I just need to keep doing it. It's hard to start from scratch again and move on.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> Completely knackered. Spent 9 and a half hours socializing with my new female friend. Not sure where this will go. Guess I just need to keep doing it. It's hard to start from scratch again and move on.


 Good luck!


----------



## C137

Enraged


----------



## Crisigv

Not tired


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am missing her again.

Almost falling for someone was a stupid thing to do.

This ****ing sucks.

:sigh


----------



## CNikki

Discarded, though that's the story of my life for when it involves interaction anyway...so I don't see how this specific situation should really bother me.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am missing her again.
> 
> Almost falling for someone was a stupid thing to do.
> 
> This ****ing sucks.
> 
> :sigh


:hug


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Good luck!


Thanks mate. Not sure what I'm doing though. Still feel like I've never been able to completely open up with anyone apart from my folks though. They're the only people who I know will accept me 100% for me.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am missing her again.
> 
> Almost falling for someone was a stupid thing to do.
> 
> This ****ing sucks.
> 
> :sigh


Know how you feel mate. I beat myself up about spending so many years being a loner and finally taking a risk with someone. I tell myself, why did you believe something could work with someone? I completely fell for her, but anyone who had been alone for as long as I had, and found them in my situation with her would have done the same.


----------



## tea111red

need coffee.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Need a shower and coffee.



CNikki said:


> Discarded, though that's the story of my life for when it involves interaction anyway...so I don't see how this specific situation should really bother me.
> 
> :hug


Thanks. Sorry to hear about your situation too. :hug



Pete Beale said:


> Thanks mate. Not sure what I'm doing though. Still feel like I've never been able to completely open up with anyone apart from my folks though. They're the only people who I know will accept me 100% for me.


 No problem, I have the same issue with opening up to new people.


----------



## Neddy123

Fine. Being totally on your own can actually feel liberating at times

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Completely knackered. Spent 9 and a half hours socializing with my new female friend. Not sure where this will go. Guess I just need to keep doing it. It's hard to start from scratch again and move on.


hope things keep building......would be nice to see you feeling better.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> hope things keep building......would be nice to see you feeling better.


Thanks. Not sure what I'm doing though. lol


----------



## lackofflife

depressed as ****.....


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Thanks. Not sure what I'm doing though. lol


lol.......learning experience.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> lol.......learning experience.


Well I know what I'm doing, but at the same time, what am I doing? lol

I just wish didn't have some deep seated issues that bother the **** out of me. Nothing wrong with my actual social skills really.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Well I know what I'm doing, but at the same time, what am I doing? lol
> 
> I just wish didn't have some deep seated issues that bother the **** out of me. Nothing wrong with my actual social skills really.


yeah.....just keep going w/ the flow, I guess.


----------



## SparklingWater

Rage.


----------



## tea111red

ick


----------



## 0589471

Suffocated.


----------



## Crisigv

nonexistent


----------



## tea111red

bored


----------



## tea111red

getting some clarity has helped enabled me to do stuff i need to do, i guess.


----------



## Gothic Cupcakes

I'm okay, if in a bit of a silly mood XD


----------



## tea111red

need to fast.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired, need to sleep.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> nonexistent


:hug



tea111red said:


> bored


:hug



lily said:


> I'm feeling bored/lonely.


:hug



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Tired, need to sleep.


Wish you a good night of sleep mate.


----------



## The Linux Guy

sleepy


----------



## harrison

Feel good but a bit tired - a very busy day today. Spent some time at the markets, helped a mate with his stall for a while before I saw my boy. So many people buying books it was insane. 

Now I need to try and go through mine and get them sorted out, plus buy more stock. Even doing that I find a bit tricky on a day when I'm feeling dizzy - my mate does it all the time and I don't know how he does it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Feel good but a bit tired - a very busy day today. Spent some time at the markets, helped a mate with his stall for a while before I saw my boy. So many people buying books it was insane.
> 
> Now I need to try and go through mine and get them sorted out, plus buy more stock. Even doing that I find a bit tricky on a day when I'm feeling dizzy - my mate does it all the time and I don't know how he does it.


Sounded interesting.

Do a little bit and have a rest. Then repeat.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

I_Exist said:


> sleepy


Wish you a good sleep mate.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Sounded interesting.
> 
> Do a little bit and have a rest. Then repeat.


Good idea mate. I could actually even get my mate over here to help - he knows what sells too.

He had cleared 1500 bucks by 2pm today - I feel like I should get in on some of the action. :O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Good idea mate. I could actually even get my mate over here to help - he knows what sells too.
> 
> He had cleared 1500 bucks by 2pm today - I feel like I should get in on some of the action. :O


Sounds like a plan coming together.

Reminds me of what this man said in the 80's -






That is a lot for books.

5k+ is normal for most small businesses for a week (small restaurant or dairy or similar). So 1.5k per day is about right.

Keeping that up for weeks on énd is another story. Makes one very tired.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That want to dance -






Oh, no, it is starting. Dancing away while typing this.


----------



## Blue Dino

Oddly feeling okay, even though emotionally and mentally I shouldn't be.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> yeah.....just keep going w/ the flow, I guess.


Well I've woke up feeling like crap again tbh. Somethings I only ever mentioned to "her", and I've got to go through feeling comfortable enough to talk to someone else, and other's about these things again. Just don't want to do it. Wish I didn't have to live like this. Wish the only person I've ever truly opened up to didn't leave me and had empathy for me. Sigh. What a load of bollocks it all is! I feel I could be normal if I didn't have these damn issues plaguing me forever.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Well I've woke up feeling like crap again tbh. Somethings I only ever mentioned to "her", and I've got to go through feeling comfortable enough to talk to someone else, and other's about these things again. Just don't want to do it. Wish I didn't have to live like this. Wish the only person I've ever truly opened up to didn't leave me and had empathy for me. Sigh. What a load of bollocks it all is! I feel I could be normal if I didn't have these damn issues plaguing me forever.


yeah, opening up to other people can be a big risk.....i understand your reservations, esp. after what happened w/ your friend. probably need to be a little more recharged or fortified before feeling comfortable enough to open up again.


----------



## SparklingWater

somewhat disoriented


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> yeah, opening up to other people can be a big risk.....i understand your reservations, esp. after what happened w/ your friend. probably need to be a little more recharged or fortified before feeling comfortable enough to open up again.


I've opened up about a lot, but somethings are too hard to talk about. I haven't known her for 5 minutes though. I'm just frustrated with living with these issues for years and still giving a **** what people think. I ain't got time to worry about what people think anymore.

You know, the other day, I stood in the busiest street in Englands second biggest city, looked at everyone and said to myself "Ya'll are dead people walking, why do I give a **** anymore?" I don't know why I give a **** when we're all gonna die and we're never promised tomorrow.

Maybe I should break four years of sobriety and just blurt out the unspeakable? 

Thing is, I'm not even sure if I want anything from her, if anything. I dunno. Again, I dunno wtf I'm doing. lol


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> I've opened up about a lot, but somethings are too hard to talk about. I haven't known her for 5 minutes though. I'm just frustrated with living with these issues for years and still giving a **** what people think. I ain't got time to worry about what people think anymore.
> 
> You know, the other day, I stood in the busiest street in Englands second biggest city, looked at everyone and said to myself "Ya'll are dead people walking, why do I give a **** anymore?" I don't know why I give a **** when we're all gonna die and we're never promised tomorrow.
> 
> Maybe I should break four years of sobriety and just blurt out the unspeakable?
> 
> Thing is, I'm not even sure if I want anything from her, if anything. I dunno. Again, I dunno wtf I'm doing. lol


lol, :yes.

really want to see you overcome stuff.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> lol, :yes.
> 
> really want to see you overcome stuff.


Thanks. I want to see you and every poor bugger here overcome stuff too! lol


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Thanks. I want to see you and every poor bugger here overcome stuff too! lol


Thanks.


----------



## Edwirdd




----------



## tea111red

dread
lazy (or apathetic)


----------



## tea111red

also feel f a t (i know i'm not bigger than others, but it is how i feel).


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

:hug


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> @tea111red
> 
> :hug


lol, thanks.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> lol, thanks.


You're welcome.

Watch out for those dodgy mirrors, they distort things.

Could be the size of a penny, but then the mirror makes it into the spaceship from Mars.

And you get this guy to match -






Nanu, nanu, nanu. :b


----------



## Suchness

Not sleepy but I want to be sleeping.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel different.

Edit: Ninja

_ Made in China using Tapatalk_


----------



## Ckg2011

Very very lonely and sad. cry

I don't know why I am such a loser. I wish I knew I don't know why the universe hates me. Just going to be alone forever and ever. crycry


----------



## tea111red

^damn.....a bit ago it said you were in love. sorry you feel bad, though.
@Uniman

thanks again.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ckg2011 said:


> Very very lonely and sad. cry
> 
> I don't know why I am such a loser. I wish I knew I don't know why the universe hates me. Just going to be alone forever and ever. crycry


:rub


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Missing her. The way it ended was like me being hit by a bus and I just can't see how I'll ever get over that. Never being able to fix something like this, is too painful. Feel completely powerless, even after all this time it's still making me feel ill.


----------



## SparklingWater

Gross. Grody. Annoyed. Lonely. Needy. Beyond restless.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> @Uniman
> 
> thanks again.


You're welcome again.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SparklingWater said:


> Gross. Grody. Annoyed. Lonely. Needy. Beyond restless.


Feel the same. Not sure what grody is though? :b


----------



## SparklingWater

Pete Beale said:


> Feel the same. Not sure what grody is though? :b


Just suuuuuuuper gross and disgusting. When gross isn't enough.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SparklingWater said:


> Just suuuuuuuper gross and disgusting. When gross isn't enough.


lol. Well I don't feel quite that bad. :squeeze


----------



## SparklingWater

Pete Beale said:


> lol. Well I don't feel quite that bad. :squeeze


Lol it's more in jest. Don't feel horrible. Just didn't take a shower this morning and am waiting til evening. Just a super lazy Sunday. Have hardly left bed/my room. Thanks though.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SparklingWater said:


> Lol it's more in jest. Don't feel horrible. Just didn't take a shower this morning and am waiting til evening. Just a super lazy Sunday. Have hardly left bed/my room. Thanks though.


Showerless here as well and plan to stay that way tbh. It's sunday and too cold for that ****! ****ty Showerless Sunday's we shall call em! :b


----------



## Crisigv

not great, really struggling


----------



## SparklingWater

Hmmm. Cautiously awesome lol. A good hot shower performs miracles.


----------



## tea111red

wish i could get into the flow state.


----------



## Suchness

Fun Spirit said:


> I feel different.
> 
> Edit: Ninja
> 
> _ Made in China using Tapatalk_


Ever feel like a ninja?


----------



## Fun Spirit

Suchness said:


> Ever feel like a ninja?


LOL 
No: )

_ Made in China using Tapatalk_


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> wish i could get into the flow state.


Bruce Lee was very good at being in the flow state.

"You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend." - Bruce Lee


----------



## Suchness

Fun Spirit said:


> LOL
> No: )
> 
> _ Made in China using Tapatalk_


I've been watching American Ninja 2 and I've been feeling a little like a ninja. I loved being a little ninja when I was a kid.


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> Bruce Lee was very good at being in the flow state.
> 
> "You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend." - Bruce Lee


maybe i should learn more about him then.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Suchness said:


> I've been watching American Ninja 2 and I've been feeling a little like a ninja. I loved being a little ninja when I was a kid.


Cool 
Is that why you Ninja me?; D 
Do you think you could do Ninja Warrior?

_ Made in China using Tapatalk_


----------



## Suchness

Fun Spirit said:


> Cool
> Is that why you Ninja me?; D
> Do you think you could do Ninja Warrior?
> 
> _ Made in China using Tapatalk_


When it comes to martial arts and obstacle course, ninja type stuff it's something I can be the great at. When I was in primary school I was the king of the monkey bars, I was the fastest to go from one end to the other. We would play this game where we met in the middle and had to use our legs to pull each other down, random kids would challenge me and I won 9 out of 10 times. I've lost most of it in recent years but If I was healthy and trained I reckon I could win.


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> maybe i should i should learn more about him then.


Bruce was the man and much more than just an actor.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Suchness said:


> When it comes to martial arts and obstacle course, ninja type stuff it's something I can be the great at. When I was in primary school I was the king of the monkey bars, I was the fastest to go from one end to the other. We would play this game where we met in the middle and had to use our legs to pull each other down, random kids would challenge me and I won 9 out of 10 times. I've lost most of it in recent years but If I was healthy and trained I reckon I could win.


No WAY: O
: O You were so awesome : O

_ Made in China using Tapatalk_


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> Bruce was the man and much more than just an actor.


thanks for the video.


----------



## Suchness

Fun Spirit said:


> No WAY: O
> : O You were so awesome : O
> 
> _ Made in China using Tapatalk_


I'll be awesome again, you better believe it sister.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Suchness said:


> I'll be awesome again, you better believe it sister.


You're already awesome: )
Darn right I believe it 
:boogie :boogie

_ Made in China using Tapatalk_


----------



## EarthDominator

Scared, sad and feeling like a failure.


----------



## Blue Dino

Feeling a false sense of calm and relaxation for some reason, even though I shouldn't be. Maybe I'm just too exhausted from weeks of anxiety and distress.


----------



## SparklingWater

92% Peaceful, 6% amused, 2% vexed


----------



## SplendidBob

Angry, depressed, stressed, fat, hopeless, disappointed, jealous, lonely, rejected, abandoned.

All the good stuff.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like I stayed up too late, and woke up too early. 

Cold. Cranky. Depressed.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

In need of a miracle!


----------



## CNikki

Conflicted.


----------



## Galen

boogery


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Depressed


----------



## SparklingWater

weary and vigilant and hopeful


----------



## discopotato

like a waste of space. as per usual


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> like a waste of space. as per usual


Nope. Producing lots of yummy potato's.


----------



## discopotato

Uniman said:


> Nope. Producing lots of yummy potato's.


and lots of rotten ones


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> and lots of rotten ones


No way. Sweet potatoes. :O


----------



## discopotato

Uniman said:


> No way. Sweet potatoes. :O


You're a sweet potato ^^

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> You're a sweet potato ^^
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


No way. You make sweet potatoes. :O


----------



## EBecca

****ing sad


----------



## Kevin001

EBecca said:


> ****ing sad


:squeeze


----------



## EBecca

Kevin001 said:


> :squeeze


thanks :squeeze


----------



## CNikki

Trying to replace the anxiety with numbness. It's almost like trying to drown a fish in water.


----------



## discopotato

Uniman said:


> No way. You make sweet potatoes. :O


Then I made you with my special potato powers :3

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Karsten

EBecca said:


> ****ing sad


Feel better, Becca! :frown2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Then I made you with my special potato powers :3
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Potatoes hang from my branches, because I am Groot. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

CNikki said:


> Trying to replace the anxiety with numbness. It's almost like trying to drown a fish in water.


But you can with a fish, if give a fish a fright. :O :b

Yeah, I'm being silly.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling sick again. I get what I deserve.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Feeling sick again. I get what I deserve.


:sigh :hug


----------



## andy1984

Crisigv said:


> Feeling sick again. I get what I deserve.


me too. i really take it for granted when i'm not sick.


----------



## tea111red

feel agitated and headed towards apathetic.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Worn...mentally and physically


----------



## stephanie13021988

Canadian Brotha said:


> Worn...mentally and physically


Aweeee hugs quakey


----------



## Blue Dino

Sleep Deprived. Bleak and afraid.


----------



## SparklingWater

Frustrated with myself


----------



## Blossomfluffy

Tired, corpse like, anxiety bubbling below the surface, and fat as a blob


this message has reached you from within the willow tree


----------



## harrison

Tired.


----------



## EBecca

Karsten said:


> Feel better, Becca! :frown2:


Thanks, I do feel a bit better


----------



## tea111red

bored or apathetic


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cold. Mild headache. Depressed and lonely, as usual.


----------



## caelle

A lil worried. I'm going to the doctors for the first time in 3 years because my asthma symptoms are starting to come back after years of not having any. I don't like going to the doctors I get so nervous. And today they are going to call me to get info from me and now I'm wondering what they're going to ask. I also work so I have to balance work while trying to mentally prepare for a phone call. I'm gonna try to get out of work before they call because I don't want to say anything too personal in front of my coworkers. 
Trying to just be grateful that I can go to the doctors. A lot of people can't afford it. I feel very fortunate.


----------



## Suchness

Like a peaceful warrior. Nothing can stop me.


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> Like a peaceful warrior. Nothing can stop me.


are you high off the meditation


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Unliked and lonely


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> are you high off the meditation


Nah, just lying in bed waiting to fall asleep, lol.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Suchness said:


> Nah, just lying in bed waiting to fall asleep, lol.


What time is it there?


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> Nah, just lying in bed waiting to fall asleep, lol.


oh, lol. i thought maybe your meditating gave you that outlook.


----------



## Suchness

SamanthaStrange said:


> What time is it there?


12:40 am. I'm usually asleep by now, just one of those nights.


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> oh, lol. i thought maybe your meditating gave you that outlook.


Nah, just being me gave me the outlook.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Suchness said:


> 12:40 am. I'm usually asleep by now, just one of those nights.


Mr Marbles giving you nightmares again?


----------



## Suchness

SamanthaStrange said:


> Mr Marbles giving you nightmares again?


No but yesterday I tried to kill two spiders and I thought I did right but this morning I woke up with what seemed like a bite mark on my calf.


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> Nah, just being me gave me the outlook.


ohhh. ok.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Suchness said:


> No but yesterday I tried to kill two spiders and I thought I did right but this morning I woke up with what seemed like a bite mark on my calf.


:afr


----------



## C137

Sad & Lonely as usual.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Annoyed. I have to work late tonight from eight to three in the morning.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Need a shower and some food.


----------



## SparklingWater

Back, neck and shoulders are super uncomfortable. No bueno.


----------



## Fun Spirit

My body feel tense and tender. {No joke with the tenderness. I know my avatar is currently a chicken} 
I think is because all I ate today was a canned fruit with some tea. Then again maybe it is from my workout I been doing recently? Sadly I missed 3 days: ( I was out the first day, I was going to workout at 6:00pm but then my Mom wanted some bake cookies. I made that along with my dinner. Next thing I know I was alseep. LOL. I forgot. The next day I made my first video recornding. It took me all night. I was tired yaw. LOL. I told myself since I am trying to do these videos I could substitute doing my workout for a video recording. The next day, third day which is today, I haven't done both yet. LMAO:rofl Now I am feeling my unused muscles.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, but got things done.


----------



## Suchness

Tired and out of it but at least I have fruit.


----------



## riverbird

Weak. I've had a nasty cold since Friday and been unable to eat much of anything. I have zero appetite. This is really annoying.


----------



## Fun Spirit

lily said:


> I hope my friend is okay.
> 
> Hope you feel better soon Fun Spirit!


Thank You Lily: ) : ) 
I'm like laying down on my bed with the lights off right about now. LOL. 
8:32pm and yet I appear like I'm about to go to sleep. :rofl

How are you feeling Lily?

@Suchness : (


----------



## tea111red

deja vu


----------



## Crisigv

hated and regretted


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> deja vu


:hug



Crisigv said:


> hated and regretted


:hug



lily said:


> i like expressing how i feel but more specifically I'm feeling sad.


:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

You're welcome.


----------



## tea111red




----------



## Mondo_Fernando




----------



## Suchness




----------



## Mondo_Fernando

You're welcome.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

karenw said:


> Unwanted Headache


:hug


----------



## Blue Dino

Slept pretty well last night and here I am, already drowsy and it's still an hour or two before when I usually go to sleep.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Thinking about some people from primary school, and how we were then before life ****ed us all up and teared us apart from each other.

I miss how we were, unspoiled and free, before we knew things. 

I'm so sad.


----------



## discopotato

Annoyed because I have the noisiest neighbors in the entire world.


----------



## EBecca

boreeed :bah


----------



## SamanthaStrange

EBecca said:


> boreeed :bah


Me too. :bah


----------



## EBecca

SamanthaStrange said:


> Me too. :bah


:bah


----------



## Karsten

SamanthaStrange said:


> Me too. :bah





EBecca said:


> boreeed :bah


*Crumbles tin foil into a ball and rolls it past the two of you*


----------



## EBecca

Karsten said:


> *Crumbles tin foil into a ball and rolls it past the two of you*


@[email protected]
this helped, thx


----------



## tea111red

i need supernatural strength.


----------



## Graeme1988

F…ckin’ raging (ie. really pissed off). As if ah did’nae huv enough tae worry about... 

My mother went to the doctor yesterday evening, after phoning our local GP surgery saying she was struggling to get her breathe. Ah think she nearly had an asthma attack, cuz upon getting back from her last minute appointment, which she was at for almost an hour, she laughs off that she nearly got admitted to hospital. Ah nearly thought she wus huvin a laugh until she tells not to say a word about it to my older sisters.


----------



## tea111red

low drive.... little reward.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

nonexistent.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> low drive.... little reward.


Not fast enough as we know it Jim.

Engage the warp drive? :O


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Not fast enough as we know it Jim.
> 
> Engage the warp drive? :O


i dunno.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> i dunno.


Basically engage warp drive and drive through that don't want to do things feelīng and get it done.

I find getting some sleep, then get it done works when feel that way.

It might apply to you in a different way, subject.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Basically engage warp drive and drive through that don't want to do things feelīng and get it done.
> 
> .


haha....i admire people that can do this.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> haha....i admire people that can do this.


Women do this all the time, driving though pain, not wanting to do things, etc. It is like having a period and driving through those problems associated with it. Do it time after time when it happens. It is why women adapt to change better (used to it).


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Women do this all the time, driving though pain, not wanting to do things, etc. It is like having a period and driving through those problems associated with it. Do it time after time when it happens. It is why women adapt to change better (used to it).


i thought about this more......i think a lot of those women probably have people that rely on them and probably feel a sense of purpose. sense of purpose can help you do uncomfortable stuff. i don't really feel a sense of purpose or feel my efforts are worth the reward so it's a lot harder to push myself now than it used to be.


----------



## tea111red

oh dear lord, i need a real life. :bash


----------



## Barakiel

Missing someone.


----------



## harrison

Not too bad - glad it's not so hot. 

And nice to not have to travel anywhere - might just go to Brunetti's and get a decent coffee and a croissant.


----------



## tea111red

1. i wish i had a sedative to knock me out.

2. i'm probably a lost cause


----------



## Ckg2011

Alone, lonely, all alone.  I know that I am not a winner, I am a loser and that is all I will ever be. I know I don't deserve love from anyone. Wish things were different but things will never be different. I am who I am and I am a loser who will be alone forever. cry I'm sorry that I suck. cry


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless and stupid


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> i thought about this more......i think a lot of those women probably have people that rely on them and probably feel a sense of purpose. sense of purpose can help you do uncomfortable stuff. i don't really feel a sense of purpose or feel my efforts are worth the reward so it's a lot harder to push myself now than it used to be.


Like kids or family. I'm thinking need to set some goals and go for it (things you haven't done before, like a goal to get that BMW you like). If finding it harder to push yourself, I find motivation video's help with that. Counteract those negative thoughts from others.



tea111red said:


> oh dear lord, i need a real life. :bash


:hug



Barakiel said:


> Missing someone.


Sorry to hear mate.



harrison said:


> Not too bad - glad it's not so hot.
> 
> And nice to not have to travel anywhere - might just go to Brunetti's and get a decent coffee and a croissant.


Sounds like a plan mate.



tea111red said:


> 1. i wish i had a sedative to knock me out.
> 
> 2. i'm probably a lost cause


:hug



Ckg2011 said:


> Alone, lonely, all alone.  I know that I am not a winner, I am a loser and that is all I will ever be. I know I don't deserve love from anyone. Wish things were different but things will never be different. I am who I am and I am a loser who will be alone forever. cry I'm sorry that I suck. cry


You do deserve love, lovely partner mate. Think positive mate.



Crisigv said:


> Worthless and stupid


None of that.

You are amazing, remember?


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Sounds like a plan mate.


I went mate but I'm getting very sick of coffee - not good when it's a warm day. Very busy there today too.

Plus I had a strawberry tart instead of a croissant. (I think that would have to count as the ultimate first-world problem, what sort of pastry you're having at Brunetti's) :roll


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I went mate but I'm getting very sick of coffee - not good when it's a warm day. Very busy there today too.
> 
> Plus I had a strawberry tart instead of a croissant. (I think that would have to count as the ultimate first-world problem, what sort of pastry you're having at Brunetti's) :roll


Coffee probably would make make you feel hotter. Good for winter, not summer sort of thing.

Sounds yummy. I'm thinking I had one of those strawberry tart things a few weeks back. Nice taste from memory.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Holy ****, I want to kill myself today. I can't believe how people are, I really can't accept it. 

There's no solution other than destruction of them, or me, they will always win otherwise.

I can't get rid of this psychotic feeling, I have like PTSD for groups of people now... I hate herd mentality.

God why isn't there anything I can feel comfortable with in myself... why do I have to be such a POS of course the world will treat me this way. FML


----------



## Suchness

My body is feeling the best it has in the last two years. Had my first workout today then went for a jog and I feel fine, it feels like my energy just went up since then. This is some Goku ****.


----------



## Blue Dino

Feeling less lethargic the past week, but still have an array of odd unsettling symptoms. It's making me nervous. Hopefully I don't start getting panic and anxiety attacks like I was riddled with the previous entire week.



Suchness said:


> My body is feeling the best it has in the last two years. Had my first workout today then went for a jog and I feel fine, it feels like my energy just went up since then. This is some Goku ****.


Best keep a high fiber diet.


----------



## blue2

Like a ladybug


----------



## Fun Spirit

I am Ok. I am awake and that spaghetti I ate last night isn't agreeing with me. I jinx myself when I joked about a dancing banana emoji dancing inside of a friend's stomach. lol. My jokes always backfire.

_ Sent from SPIRITO BAMBITO using Tapatalk_


----------



## discopotato

Calm. Exercise is like therapy when I'm really pissed off at someone


----------



## SplendidBob

Agitated, new set of worries. Old ones too.


----------



## Elle Knight

Dying...that sums up everything.


----------



## Elle Knight

SplendidBob said:


> Agitated, new set of worries. Old ones too.


Same here


----------



## Suchness

Blue Dino said:


> Feeling less lethargic the past week, but still have an array of odd unsettling symptoms. It's making me nervous. Hopefully I don't start getting panic and anxiety attacks like I was riddled with the previous entire week.
> 
> Best keep a high fiber diet.


We're both feeling better :boogie And, yes I'll take a Senzu bean.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, but got things done.


----------



## Care2018

not good mentally....scared and confused


----------



## Suchness

Excited and nervous to watch TSM play tomorrow.


----------



## copper

Caught the stomach bug. Been off work Thursday and Friday. Our clients in the group homes have it. The gal I share the office with has it too.


----------



## tea111red

another day of trying to figure out how to not be bored.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> another day of trying to figure out how to not be bored.


Same.

I find life itself boring.


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> Same.
> 
> I find life itself boring.


truly miserable living like this. :/


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> truly miserable living like this. :/


Yes, it is.


----------



## Fun Spirit

In deep thought.

_ Sent from SPIRITO BAMBITO using Tapatalk_


----------



## Suchness

Like ****, had a bad night's sleep. Got a headache and feel tired, feel like I can't do much.


----------



## tea111red

trying to branch out.


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> Like ****, had a bad night's sleep. Got a headache and feel tired, feel like I can't do much.


you can't lie down and close your eyes for a bit?


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> you can't lie down and close your eyes for a bit?


I do and it helps a bit but still mostly feel crappy.


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> I do and it helps a bit but still mostly feel crappy.


more water for your headache?


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> more water for your headache?


Had plenty of water so far. I rarely get headaches and this one is weird, put me in a down mood. I'll probably feel better later.


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> Had plenty of water so far. I rarely get headaches and this one is weird, put me in a down mood. I'll probably feel better later.


oh, hmm. wonder what did it. hope you do feel better.


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> oh, hmm. wonder what did it. hope you do feel better.


I could feel it when I woke up a few times in the night then I woke up earlier than usual and was kind of half asleep with negative thoughts and feelings, one of those crappy things.


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> I could feel it when I woke up a few times in the night then I woke up earlier than usual and was kind of half asleep with negative thoughts and feelings, one of those crappy things.


oh really? i thought you were thinking more positively lately. that sucks.


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> oh really? i thought you were thinking more positively lately. that sucks.


I am but it's just one of those nights/days.


----------



## CNikki

Tired.


----------



## discopotato

Fed up. With everything 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## SplendidBob

Wasn't a bad day, got most of my essay done. Except when I read the words I had only written 600 when I felt it was 1200. 

I seem to be absolutely exhausted though, and feeling like total ****. I am dreading uni starting again next week. My neck is bad, my anxiety is bad, my mood is bad, my sleep schedule is out of whack and I am struggling to make essay deadlines with A MONTH'S extension. 

I am apparently seeing someone who I just don't get on with at all, and so that's going to last about a minute. F popped up just as I am making progress with my essays after I let her know I didn't want to speak to her for a few weeks. "You ok?". That doesn't mean "you ok?", that means something like "I want to try to **** around with your head while maintaining a caring facade". 

I am honestly, genuinely considering just becoming immensely fat again so I don't have to think about women any more. I could try mutilating my head, but that would probably just make me "more rugged" or some bizarre ****.


----------



## SplendidBob

And also, I appear to have the wonderful choice of:

1. Taking agomelatine, which bizarrely improves my neck pain about 50% (probably), + restless leg syndrome + waking up at a normal hour
2. Taking moclobemide, which doesn't do anything (makes caffeine stronger?).

Neck pain, or restless legs. I honestly can't pick between those ****ty options.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Fed up. With everything
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


:hug

Just Rock on in another language -


* *












Rock is a universal music language. :yes


----------



## discopotato

Uniman said:


> :hug
> 
> Just Rock on in another language -
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Rock is a universal music language. :yes


Oooh I actually understand some words :b


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Sometimes I forget how much ****ing pain I've suffered. ****ing sad existence having lived like that.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I am feeling hopeful. I just recieved some clarity. I been asking God about my life for 8 years. Now I know. It is all about divine timing and the path I been on. It seem that me feeling depressed after high school, dropping out of college after my first week and only have 1 job {a temp job} followed up by my so called official job that I had left right after my first day, not having employment since, me attending my first and last Church service, the lost of my best online friends, a love relationship that wemt sour, my family and I moving to a whole new State in the US where I am currently at now and throw in there my anxiety and my lack of confidence, all of this was meant to get me to where I am at today, right here and now at this very moment. I am being divinely guided to my life's purpose. Whatever that purpose is. I still do not know. I just know I am to focus on Change and to look forward to my Day. My Day is coming and when it come I'm going to take off. I'm going to be gone. I been waiting for my Day. It is coming. I just need to hold on and wait a little longer.

_ Sent from SPIRITO BAMBITO using Tapatalk_


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Full from dinner with mother earlier.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Oooh I actually understand some words :b


No way. :O

Have to admit she sings well in Philipino language.

It looks like sister, brothers rocking together. :yes


----------



## discopotato

Uniman said:


> No way. :O
> 
> Have to admit she sings well in Philipino language.
> 
> It looks like sister, brothers rocking together. :yes


Yes way  queen potato was from the Philippines so miss potato know a thing or two about the language :b


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel like I need to switch watefox profiles. But maybe I should be going to another computer for now.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Yes way  queen potato was from the Philippines so miss potato know a thing or two about the language :b


No way. :O

Got distant family born in the Philipines. Some of them sing.


----------



## tea111red

less bored today.


----------



## discopotato

Uniman said:


> No way. :O
> 
> Got distant family born in the Philipines. Some of them sing.


Oh really? We both have connections to Sweden and the Philippines. are you my long lost brother?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> less bored today.


Good to hear.



discopotato said:


> Oh really? We both have connections to Sweden and the Philippines. are you my long lost brother?


Probably brother from another mother.  :b


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Good to hear.


let's see how long being less bored lasts.....haha.


----------



## SparklingWater

Annoyed.

Arrgh. When you get up to cook a proper full meal and end up making a sandwich lmao. Don't feel like chopping and sauteeing and simmering and waiting. When I cook in this mood things get burned because I turn it all up higher in an effort to rush and yea... Better to wait til I'm in the mood. A shame.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Remembering some of the past conversations I had on this site is making me feel extra lonely.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> let's see how long being less bored lasts.....haha.


Lets start with welcome the future -


* *












:O


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel ignored. I had enough! I'm mad now, so I'm logging off now.


----------



## SpartanSaber

I feel very sad, and angry at myself. But I will be fine.


----------



## Suchness

A lot better than yesterday.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I wish I was stronger and kept myself from logging back in.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Lets start with welcome the future -
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :O


yep....some amazing developments in technology.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> yep....some amazing developments in technology.


:yes


----------



## Excaliber

Exited, I will be leaving on vacation soon.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Discontent.


----------



## thomasjune

I woke up today feeling really anxious because I had a lot of things to do and a lot of people to deal with but everything went pretty smooth so I really had nothing to worry about in the first place. My anxiety issues are so irrational, why do I keep freaking out about every little thing that don't really matter. 
I had a grate day today so I should be feeling good right now but I can't because I'm already stressing out about tomorrow. FML
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> A lot better than yesterday.


Did you get some sleep last night mate?


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> Did you get some sleep last night mate?


Yeah I did, thanks. It wasn't bad, only woke up once.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> Yeah I did, thanks. It wasn't bad, only woke up once.


That's good - feels terrible when you can't get enough sleep.


----------



## tea111red

upset.


----------



## tea111red

it's probably going to be another long day.


----------



## scooby

I feel like sleeping for 24 hours a day for the next week or two, even though I hate everything about my whole sleeping process.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Same old ****. No idea what to do about any of it. Forcing myself to attempt to be as normal as possible, won't make me happier, so I do nothing, and time is running out. 

If only she had been able to accept me for the way I am and stuck around. I needed acceptance because I can't change my situation.


----------



## Blossomfluffy

So tired I can’t form thoughts which is worrying 
thinking is my only skill
Hmm
Sleep seems to be the answer here
*insomnia*


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Isolated. Depressed.


----------



## Repix

Pretty stoned... pheeeew..


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> upset.





tea111red said:


> it's probably going to be another long day.


Stay strong. You can get through this day. :hug


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Stay strong. You can get through this day. :hug


i'm tired of living like this. :/


----------



## SilentMadness

Empty, unloved, lonely.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> i'm tired of living like this. :/


:hug

Wish I could do something to help. 



SilentMadness said:


> Empty, unloved, lonely.


Know those feelings all to well. :hug


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> :hug
> 
> Wish I could do something to help.


thanks.....you have a good heart.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> thanks.....you have a good heart.


You're welcome.

Thank you. Not as good as yours.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> Thank you. Not as good as yours.


haha....humble, eh?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> haha....humble, eh?


You go to church, I used to. Hence your heart is better.  :b


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> You go to church, I used to. Hence your heart is better.  :b


oh, i don't go to church, lol. i've only been thinking about it. not gone through w/ it yet because i'm not sure if i will fit in there at this point. i feel too "bad." also don't think there will be many around my age.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> oh, i don't go to church, lol. i've only been thinking about it. not gone through w/ it yet because i'm not sure if i will fit in there at this point. i feel too "bad." also don't think there will be many around my age.


Can just go to confession first to rid yourself of the sins?

Age doesn't matter.

Can try church a bit later on, maybe a Saturday or weekday service if they have them, where there should be less people.


----------



## tea111red

s.o.l.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, but got lots done in one day.


----------



## SparklingWater

Really good. Looking forward to today. Also speaking with therapist today so that's good. Have some planning to do.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

****ing miserable. Happy birthday to me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> ****ing miserable. Happy birthday to me.


Happy Birthday mate.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> ****ing miserable. Happy birthday to me.


Happy Birthday! :hb


----------



## D'avjo

you cant beat hassle free evenings


----------



## Tuan Jie

@iAmCodeMonkey
Congratulations!


----------



## Tuan Jie

I feel good! Today was excellent.


----------



## SparklingWater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> ****ing miserable. Happy birthday to me.


 Happy Birthday!!!


----------



## funnynihilist

Fell off my exercise​ bike and nearly broke my neck, now it's sore


----------



## SparklingWater

Middle of the road day..started off feeling great. Dipped early afternoon when considering finance stuff, issues with my mom, men, other crap. Feel ok now, but a bit tired and it's only 5:40. Still have to speak to my therapist. I'm just a bit worn out. Would take a nap rn if I could.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Uniman said:


> Happy Birthday mate.





SamanthaStrange said:


> Happy Birthday! :hb





Tuan Jie said:


> @*iAmCodeMonkey*
> Congratulations!





SparklingWater said:


> Happy Birthday!!!


Thanks guys and gals. Feeling a little better after having Thai food for dinner with mother.:grin2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Thanks guys and gals. Feeling a little better after having Thai food for dinner with mother.:grin2:


You're welcome.

Good to hear mate.


----------



## Suchness

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> ****ing miserable. Happy birthday to me.


Happy birthday monkey magic!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Uniman said:


> You're welcome.
> Good to hear mate.


Thank you my friend.



Suchness said:


> Happy birthday monkey magic!


Thanks.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Thank you my friend.


You're welcome mate.


----------



## tea111red

better in some ways.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> better in some ways.


Good to hear.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Good to hear.


thanks.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> thanks.


You're welcome.


----------



## SparklingWater

Happy it's not as cold as it's been last few days.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Lonely and Distracted


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SparklingWater

Sounds līke based on percentages that you had a good day.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

I_Exist said:


> Lonely and Distracted


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bitter. Uncomfortable. Cold. Depressed.


----------



## 0589471

SamanthaStrange said:


> Bitter. Uncomfortable. Cold. Depressed.


:squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Bitter. Uncomfortable. Cold. Depressed.


:squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> :squeeze





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :squeeze


Thanks. :group


----------



## Crisigv

I felt pretty lonely today. I should just go to bed.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> I felt pretty lonely today. I should just go to bed.


Sleep usually helps in my experience. Hope you have a good sleep. :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I felt pretty lonely today. I should just go to bed.


Awww. :hug


----------



## harrison

@iAmCodeMonkey - Happy Birthday mate, sorry I'm a bit late. Hope you had a great day and a nice dinner. 

That's a nice car in your avatar btw - I always loved those Porsches, nice looking cars.


----------



## tea111red

upset. hate that noise.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> upset. hate that noise.


:hug


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> :hug


sorry, but it is soooooo awful. i can't cope well w/ it. he idles his motorcycle too long.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> sorry, but it is soooooo awful. i can't cope well w/ it. he idles his motorcycle too long.


It is ok. :hug

Car or motorcycle enthusiast's do that to bring oil temp up before driving or riding. Oil is thicker when cold, so has a hard time getting to bearings at higher rpm when cold. This lack of oil can cause bearing wear, bearing failure.

Those bike engines can spin up to something like 15,000rpm in some cases.

But most new cars (BMW use this way on their car ECU's), bikes should limit rpm when engine is warming up, so idling like that is not necessary.

On old factory setups they just pulled ignition timing to certain rpm, so had no protection if overreved engine while was warming up.

I'm thinking if can prove to him that doesn't need to do what he is doing (bike engine ECU limits revs when engine is warming up), he might change his ways and you'll get some peace.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> It is ok. :hug
> 
> Car or motorcycle enthusiast's do that to bring oil temp up before driving or riding. Oil is thicker when cold, so has a hard time getting to bearings at higher rpm when cold. This lack of oil can cause bearing wear, bearing failure.
> 
> Those bike engines can spin up to something like 15,000rpm in some cases.
> 
> But most new cars (BMW use this way on their car ECU's), bikes should limit rpm when engine is warming up, so idling like that is not necessary.
> 
> On old factory setups they just pulled ignition timing to certain rpm, so had no protection if overreved engine while was warming up.
> 
> I'm thinking if can prove to him that doesn't need to do what he is doing (bike engine ECU limits revs when engine is warming up), he might change his ways and you'll get some peace.


thanks for informing me more about bikes, heh.

i don't feel comfortable saying the sound of his bike idling is extremely distressing.

..........

maybe i can find some literature about motorcycles and leave it at his door. :lol


----------



## tea111red

maybe i can leave him some articles about pollution, too. >


----------



## WillYouStopDave

tea111red said:


> thanks for informing me more about bikes, heh.
> 
> i don't feel comfortable saying the sound of his bike idling is extremely distressing.


 Just wait until the next time you see him and tell him you're sick and ****ing tired of hearing that damn motorcycle. This won't leave him any wiggle room to make you feel guilty for hurting his feelings because he will already know you aren't in "I'm your friendly neighbor" mode.


----------



## tea111red

WillYouStopDave said:


> Just wait until the next time you see him and tell him you're sick and ****ing tired of hearing that damn motorcycle. This won't leave him any wiggle room to make you feel guilty for hurting his feelings because he will already know you aren't in "I'm your friendly neighbor" mode.


yeah, i guess if pissed off enough i can say something. i'd worry about backlash, though.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

tea111red said:


> yeah, i guess if pissed off enough i can say something. i'd worry about backlash, though.


 Yeah. Though I think (realistically) that most people don't expect their neighbors to be irritated by the irritating noises they make. For some reason, it comes as a shock to them that irritating sounds irritate people. :lol

Like one time I had this neighbor who had a kid that screamed all the time and one day I saw her in the hallway and said something and she said something like "Oh. You can hear that?" No. Of course not! Your little brat is five feet above my head. Why would I be able to hear her screaming like a scalded dog?


----------



## tea111red

WillYouStopDave said:


> Yeah. Though I think (realistically) that most people don't expect their neighbors to be irritated by the irritating noises they make. For some reason, it comes as a shock to them that irritating sounds irritate people. :lol
> 
> Like one time I had this neighbor who had a kid that screamed all the time and one day I saw her in the hallway and said something and she said something like "Oh. You can hear that?" No. Of course not! Your little brat is five feet above my head. Why would I be able to hear her screaming like a scalded dog?


haha.....yeah, maybe you're right.


----------



## SparklingWater

Turns out acknowledging just how scared you are is the scariest part of all. Gets easier from there.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> thanks for informing me more about bikes, heh.
> 
> i don't feel comfortable saying the sound of his bike idling is extremely distressing.
> 
> ..........
> 
> maybe i can find some literature about motorcycles and leave it at his door. :lol


You're welcome.

Even bike owners think ilding for too long is not right from 1:21+ -






I wonder if it is the same neighbour he had? :O

Could create a letter with newspaper headline cutouts with I know what you did yesterday with your bike.

He would be like :O and suddenly stop idling, riding his bike. :lol

But seriously could just give him a printed version of the link to above bike video clip in the letter box.

Or get a letter in an envelope from a bike manufacturer or dealer mentioning correct warmup procedure. So it comes from someone else, not you.



tea111red said:


> maybe i can leave him some articles about pollution, too. >


You wouldn't, would you? :O :b :lol


----------



## Blossomfluffy

Fantastic
*british sarcasm*


----------



## Perkins

Anxiety ridden. God help me.


----------



## tea111red

@Uniman

thanks for the video and advice....i appreciate it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

You're welcome.


----------



## SplendidBob

a bit drunk, a bit uncertain about things.


----------



## harrison

Quite tired but overall astonishingly relieved that I can just hide away up here if I feel like it.

Thank God.


----------



## Ira joseph

I feel tired depressed hated and isolated


----------



## tea111red

fug


----------



## Ira joseph

I wish i could feel wide awake. Most of the time i feel like i have no energy


----------



## CNikki

Feeling like I shouldn’t be taking half the crap that is thrown my way (even if I did ask for it to a certain extent.) Thing is that I don’t know what to do and take the exact steps on how to approach it. I’m left on my own for so many things that I can literally be driven up the wall at some points. I don’t want that again.


----------



## harrison

Not quite so tired - might go and get a few things. Lovely and cool today too.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

harrison said:


> @iAmCodeMonkey - Happy Birthday mate, sorry I'm a bit late. Hope you had a great day and a nice dinner.
> 
> That's a nice car in your avatar btw - I always loved those Porsches, nice looking cars.


Thanks for the birthday wishes! Porsches are my favorite too, along with Ferraris, being Italian and all. :grin2:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Feeling like I shouldn't be taking half the crap that is thrown my way (even if I did ask for it to a certain extent.) Thing is that I don't know what to do and take the exact steps on how to approach it. I'm left on my own for so many things that I can literally be driven up the wall at some points. I don't want that again.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## harrison

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Thanks for the birthday wishes! Porsches are my favorite too, along with Ferraris, being Italian and all. :grin2:


Haha - Italians are the best mate, everyone knows that.


----------



## Crisigv

same as always


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> same as always


 :hug :squeeze


harrison said:


> Haha - Italians are the best mate, everyone knows that.


Oh come on, stop it. :lol


----------



## Crisigv

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze
> 
> Oh come on, stop it. :lol


He's not wrong, you know. :lol And thank you


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> He's not wrong, you know. :lol And thank you


No problem, and thank you too.:grin2::kiss:


----------



## tea111red

i hope some breakthrough is about to happen for me.


----------



## Blue Dino

Oddly on the more relax side. I feel like I should be more nervous and panicky right now. Just afraid it will hit me like a ton of bricks when/if it happens if I don't gradually start to right now.


On the other hand, this falling rain is making me feel some comfort. Maybe my mind is just exhausted from the past week and it can't take any more panicking. I dunno. :stu


----------



## tea111red

crap.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

extremely bad


----------



## lackofflife

geraltofrivia said:


> extremely bad


:rub


----------



## Chevy396

SORE


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> i hope some breakthrough is about to happen for me.


I hope so too.



tea111red said:


> crap.


:hug


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> I hope so too.
> 
> :hug


thanks.....yeah, i think something has shifted in me at least.


----------



## Kilgore Trout

lackofflife said:


> :rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> thanks.....yeah, i think something has shifted in me at least.


You're welcome.

I guess it is a start.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I am alright. Just that my eyes are watery. It could be allergies. I don't know. Unless someone is sad or crying. Maybe I am picking up on someone's emotions. I have no idea. 
_Sent from SPIRITO BAMBITO using Tapatalk _


----------



## Karsten

Stuffy nose, runny eyes. Peak of cold symptoms. Hopefully I'm good come the weekend. I don't want to have to hear my nephews temper tantrums through sick ears.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Karsten said:


> Stuffy nose, runny eyes. Peak of cold symptoms. Hopefully I'm good come the weekend. I don't want to have to hear my nephews temper tantrums through sick ears.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Paralyzed by certain things. Been this way so long, too long. Just cannot control the depression and avoidance of certain things.


----------



## Karsten

SamanthaStrange said:


>


That chicken's still alive, Sam. :frown2:


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Karsten said:


> That chicken's still alive, Sam. :frown2:


Picky picky.


----------



## tea111red

kind of feeling like "eh, what's the point?"


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious. Depressed. TRAPPED.


----------



## harrison

Was getting manic this morning - I could feel it very clearly. Reduced my medication and it always happens. Plus I always get heartburn when I first do it and usually lots of migraines - haven't had any of those yet though. I don't like feeling so flat all the time on my medication - and tired. But the mania is hard to tolerate too - it's okay I guess if it isn't too intense. But I don't think I'll tell my wife - she makes a fuss and I get sick of trying to explain.


----------



## megatheriidae

Feel like I might just lie in bed and listen to music till morning.


----------



## komorikun

harrison said:


> Haha - Italians are the best mate, everyone knows that.


Yeah, Italian guys are hot. There are a lot of Brazilians of Italian descent in Sao Paulo. Seems like half of them have Italian last names. I thought they were better looking than the ones of Portuguese descent. Hair texture and facial features are different.


----------



## harrison

komorikun said:


> Yeah, Italian guys are hot. There are a lot of Brazilians of Italian descent in Sao Paulo. Seems like half o them have Italian last names. I thought they were better looking than the ones of Portuguese descent. Hair texture and facial features are different.


Yeah - Italian women are great too. My wife's Italian - well, her parents were anyway.

I didn't know there were a lot of Brazilians of Italian descent. We have a lot of Italians here too - but I guess they're all over the place.


----------



## Crisigv

Upset


----------



## Fun Spirit

Haunted. Memories of the past with someone still hurt and haunt me.

_Sent from SPIRITO BAMBITO using Tapatalk _


----------



## Graeme1988

Getting fed-up with having to care for my mother. She won’t even help herself when it comes to her health issues, it’s almost like she wants things to get worse than they already are. 

And I’m finding it increasingly difficult to trust that my family are telling the truth, because they’ve let me down so many times in the past when they’ve promised to help me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Upset


:hug



Fun Spirit said:


> Haunted. Memories of the past with someone still hurt and haunt me.
> 
> _Sent from SPIRITO BAMBITO using Tapatalk _


:hug


----------



## harrison

Graeme1988 said:


> Getting fed-up with having to care for my mother. She won't even help herself when it comes to her health issues, it's almost like she wants things to get worse than they already are.
> 
> And I'm finding it increasingly difficult to trust that my family are telling the truth, because they've let me down so many times in the past when they've promised to help me.


You're a good guy for looking after your Mum. How old are you btw?


----------



## harrison

I'm feeling like I'd like to go to the airport and disappear for a while. But also a bit tired. Definitely not thinking clearly so I won't go anywhere other than out to see my wife. I feel like a bit of a mess.


----------



## Crisigv

Who cares about my feelings anyways?


----------



## 3stacks

Crisigv said:


> Who cares about my feelings anyways?


 :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> Who cares about my feelings anyways?


I could have written that... we care.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Who cares about my feelings anyways?


:hug


----------



## tea111red

i'm back to feeling unmotivated.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Same as always.


----------



## tea111red

the day is going by slowly......not very stimulated.


----------



## CNikki

Bloated.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> i'm back to feeling unmotivated.


:hug



Pete Beale said:


> Same as always.


That you are awesome?



tea111red said:


> the day is going by slowly......not very stimulated.


Call the ambulamps, woman in distress with a man to rescue (joking).  :b



CNikki said:


> Bloated.


:hug


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Call the ambulamps, woman in distress with a man to rescue (joking).  :b


hey, your post actually gave me an idea for how i can entertain myself, lol.

edit: i mean, it gave me the idea to watch these videos.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> hey, your post actually gave me an idea for how i can entertain myself, lol.


:lol

Must go to hospital for observation (observing the hot EMT at work).  :b


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> :lol
> 
> Must go to hospital for observation (observing the hot EMT at work).  :b


you know, i had the thought again that maybe i can try to take an EMT class to meet someone, lol. i dunno, though......i'm probably not tough enough for that. damn, i cringe thinking about that, lol.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Uniman said:


> :hug
> 
> That you are awesome?
> 
> Call the ambulamps, woman in distress with a man to rescue (joking).  :b
> 
> :hug


You're much more awesome than I ever could be mate. :smile2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> you know, i had the thought again that maybe i can try to take an EMT class to meet someone, lol.


Some great idea's you are having today.  :b



tea111red said:


> i dunno, though......i'm probably not tough enough for that. damn, i cringe thinking about that, lol.


Just think of the benefits of learning resuscitation. :O  :b

Tea, you can stop resuscitation on the EMT now. Tea, did you hear me? :lol



Pete Beale said:


> You're much more awesome than I ever could be mate. :smile2:


You are so awesome that can teach-


* *












:O


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Just think of the benefits of learning resuscitation. :O  :b
> 
> Tea, you can stop resuscitation on the EMT now. Tea, did you hear me? :lol


no, i want the emt to resuscitate me, lol.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> no, i want the emt to resuscitate me, lol.


:O

Lets hope he had a minty. Minty fresh.


----------



## tea111red

lol


----------



## Deaf Mute

My body feels more tired today than usual and my shoulder feels screwed up and I have a headache and I'm poor lmao.. :lol


----------



## tehuti88

Discouraged. Resigned. Same old.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Enjoying a beer all by my lonesome.


----------



## SparklingWater

Unsatisfied, discontent, hopelessly resigned and way too tired to think it through. I'll give it another go in the morning. Ooo don't forget guilty and annoyed as well.


----------



## tea111red

i've definitely lost a lot of my dignity.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I feel like I probably need to go to bed soon. I've reached that point where I just feel super tired but giddy and not quite right.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Aggravated with some people. Have to get someone at work to give me a ride to go meet up with my mother for my grandfather's funeral cause no one else will take me. Of course the vehicle here was gone all night last night and it's still not here today. I shouldn't have to go through this much trouble to go to a funeral. Especially since I told my manager yesterday I want to take Monday off.


----------



## Graeme1988

Pissed off... nuthin' seems to be going right for me these past couple o' days.


----------



## Graeme1988

Graeme1988 said:


> Pissed off... nuthin' seems to be going right for me these past couple o' days.


Always seems to be ma responsibility cuz _"Ye know best, Graeme. Yer smarter than me..."_ This is the response ah git nearly every time I ask my family for advice. Even when ah've went oot ma way tae bloody explain what I'm struggling with. It's just: "Ah dinnae ken... ah could'nae tell ye"

Does'nae bode well for ma self-confidence when the same folk who've telt me "I'm useless" turn round n' show they're the useless ones.

What gets me is: I'm the youngest of my immediate family, I'm supposed to look to them. It should'nae be the other way... it's bad enough that ah huv listen to them complain n' ***** every time there's a huge argument. :bash

_Mind you, my dysfunctional family huv gave me enough stories that could practically write an Edinburgh Fringe Festival show._ :grin2:


----------



## blue2

Ah think al type in mea native accent for a wee while aye XD


----------



## Kevin001

Cold was locked outside.


----------



## tea111red

blue2 said:


> Ah think al type in mea native accent for a wee while aye XD


haha, nice.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> lol


It's true... though, I'd probably not invite ma older sister. Most of the arguments that occur are usually started by her. And me mocking that fact would probably piss her off, she quite volatile. Even though it's me who is perceived as intimidating. Not that we talk much anyway....

That said, it was bad enough last year when ah interrupted an argument she started to point and ask if my older sister was capable of resolve an argument by *NOT SHOUTING* all the time



blue2 said:


> Ah think al type in mea native accent for a wee while aye XD


Eh... ye forgot the question mark it the end, there. :teeth Ah think ah'll tone it doon in future post oan here anyway... :grin2:


----------



## Fun Spirit

...............


----------



## harrison

I think i'm okay - but my judgement is a bit off, even I can see that.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Feel bad depression coming back again and had some suicidal thoughts earlier.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Feel bad depression coming back again and had some suicidal thoughts earlier.


what's happening w/ you and that woman you've been hanging out w/?


----------



## leaf in the wind

More depressed, angry, and lethargic than I've been in a long time.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> what's happening w/ you and that woman you've been hanging out w/?


Haven't seen her for a bit because she's been busy and got some issues going on herself. Seeing her next week though. I just feel so hurt still over losing "her". Sometimes I feel like just ****ing off on a hundred mile train journey and trying to talk to her, I feel so bad, but then I officially become a god damn stalker. Sigh. I wish this hadn't happened to me. I spent years talking to her and really needed something to work out when I finally met her. Now she's gone, all my youth, two decades have gone. It's totally messed with my head spending so many years alone and falling for a younger woman. It's a dangerous place to be in mentally. I can see why lonely older men kill themselves when they get into something rare with a younger woman, and feel like they have no way of repeating it. I'm just bitter and depressed about all the time I've lost over the years for one reason or another, and how much emotional support I tried to give her. What's it all been for? It was my birthday last week and I heard nothing from her. Got one card again and that's it. Just another year gone and I'm still a god damn broken manchild.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

and a god damn broken record.


----------



## funnynihilist

Feeling low


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> and a god damn broken record.


sorry you're hurting, man. :squeeze try to stay focused on upcoming events. it's good the new girl still wants to hang out. hopefully you can build a good friendship over time.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> sorry you're hurting, man. :squeeze try to stay focused on upcoming events. it's good the new girl still wants to hang out. hopefully you can build a good friendship over time.


Yeah, hopefully. I just wish she was her though, ffs, tbh. :frown2:


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> Haven't seen her for a bit because she's been busy and got some issues going on herself. Seeing her next week though. I just feel so hurt still over losing "her". Sometimes I feel like just ****ing off on a hundred mile train journey and trying to talk to her, I feel so bad, but then I officially become a god damn stalker. Sigh. I wish this hadn't happened to me. I spent years talking to her and really needed something to work out when I finally met her. Now she's gone, all my youth, two decades have gone. It's totally messed with my head spending so many years alone and falling for a younger woman. It's a dangerous place to be in mentally. I can see why lonely older men kill themselves when they get into something rare with a younger woman, and feel like they have no way of repeating it. I'm just bitter and depressed about all the time I've lost over the years for one reason or another, and how much emotional support I tried to give her. What's it all been for? It was my birthday last week and I heard nothing from her. Got one card again and that's it. Just another year gone and I'm still a god damn broken manchild.


Happy Birthday for last week mate.

Try not to worry, things will pick up eventually. If they don't you can always meet me in Bali or Thailand.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> Feeling low


:squeeze


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Yeah, hopefully. I just wish she was her though, ffs, tbh. :frown2:


yes, i'm sure.....your bond w/ the last girl was/is stronger than the one w/ the new girl atm.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

harrison said:


> Happy Birthday for last week mate.
> 
> Try not to worry, things will pick up eventually. If they don't you can always meet me in Bali or Thailand.


lol thanks mate. Got a feeling we'd end up on Banged up Abroad if I met you in Bali or Thailand though. :b


----------



## funnynihilist

SamanthaStrange said:


> :squeeze


I would rip off my pants in public for a piece of that cake right now haha


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> lol thanks mate. Got a feeling we'd end up on Banged up Abroad if I met you in Bali or Thailand though. :b


Come on mate - where's your sense of fun. 

There is always that possibility though I'm afraid - but I'm currently talking to a judge on the High Court of Indonesia on the dating site I use. (she actually is - I checked)

So she can always help if things get a bit tricky. :O


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> yes, i'm sure.....your bond w/ the last girl was/is stronger than the one w/ the new girl atm.


Yes, way stronger because of the length of time and the nature of it all. I think I'm just an object to her, where as she too me was something special and rare that I heavily invested in emotionally.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

harrison said:


> Come on mate - where's your sense of fun.
> 
> There is always that possibility though I'm afraid - but I'm currently talking to a judge on the High Court of Indonesia on the dating site I use. (she actually is - I checked)
> 
> So she can always help if things get a bit tricky. :O


Bloody hell. There's always a chance she could send you or the pair of us down for life as well. Be careful messing with that one! :O lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> I would rip off my pants in public for a piece of that cake right now haha


I don't think that'll be necessary.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Yes, way stronger because of the length of time and the nature of it all. I think I'm just an object to her, where as she too me was something special and rare that I heavily invested in emotionally.


:stu have to just try to focus on the new person and other things......


----------



## funnynihilist

SamanthaStrange said:


> I don't think that'll be necessary.


I'll do it anyway and call it an evening


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> Bloody hell. There's always a chance she could send you or the pair of us down for life as well. Be careful messing with that one! :O lol


Oh yeah - I didn't think of that.

She seems very nice though mate - plus I like to look on the bright side with these things. 

It'll be okay - what could possibly go wrong with my track record. :roll


----------



## harrison

funnynihilist said:


> I'll do it anyway and call it an evening


Haha - that was funny.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> :stu have to just try to focus on the new person and other things......


Yeah. Got no choice anyway have I. lol



harrison said:


> Oh yeah - I didn't think of that.
> 
> She seems very nice though mate - plus I like to look on the bright side with these things.
> 
> It'll be okay - what could possibly go wrong with my track record. :roll


See you on Banged up Abroad mate. > lol


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> See you on Banged up Abroad mate. > lol


Haha - okay mate. I'll wave.


----------



## Citrine79

Was halfway decent this morning...weather has finally improved for the time being. But now back to feeling down again. Sunday nights are the worst...dreading the work week and my job is not great right now, morrale is very low and people for the most part are miserable. And being there makes me feel more down than I already am. Wish I had friends or someone special to watch the big game tonight with. I don’t...so I am not even bothering to watch and I am just alone in my room, as per usual.


----------



## CNikki

Trying to mentally prepare myself for the week, so how I feel could be a bit topsy turvy right now.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uncomfortable 

My sisters came to meet up with me to pick me up. Hardly said anything to them on the way to my grandmother's. I have no idea what to say to them. They were just talking to each other anyways. I'm dreading tomorrow. I have to go to my old church for the funeral and it's really going to be uncomfortable. I haven't been there since I was like 17 years old. It's going to be awkward as ****. But I needed to go for my grandfather. I'd feel guilty not going.


----------



## harrison

Perception is off, judgement is out of whack, basically a bit mad - but I feel okay otherwise. And i haven't left the flat yet so that's something. Definitely no overseas trips just yet mister.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Uncomfortable
> 
> My sisters came to meet up with me to pick me up. Hardly said anything to them on the way to my grandmother's. I have no idea what to say to them. They were just talking to each other anyways. I'm dreading tomorrow. I have to go to my old church for the funeral and it's really going to be uncomfortable. I haven't been there since I was like 17 years old. It's going to be awkward as ****. But I needed to go for my grandfather. I'd feel guilty not going.


:hug

Been there before. Just stay strong and along the lines of what you said, go for your grandfather.


----------



## harrison

Calmer thank God

Edit: well, and a bit of Valium of course.


----------



## tea111red

awake.


----------



## Blue Dino

Enjoyment from this late night rain hitting my bedroom window.


----------



## Graeme1988

Had a bit of a setback with regards to my only hobby at this point... so I'm frustrated and depressed.


----------



## 0589471

crummy and in pain.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Weird.


----------



## SplendidBob

OCD was hellish yesterday, really bad. Neck is painful too atm, and seem only able to get 5-6 hours sleep atm.


----------



## 0589471

SplendidBob said:


> OCD was hellish yesterday, really bad. Neck is painful too atm, and seem only able to get 5-6 hours sleep atm.


:squeeze Oh no, I'm sorry bobbert  hope you get some relief soon!!!


----------



## SplendidBob

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> :squeeze Oh no, I'm sorry bobbert  hope you get some relief soon!!!


thanks :squeeze

Oh, just noticed you are in pain, hope you feel better soon too . Pain. Ugh.


----------



## eu9919

*After an out of comfort zone experience*

Mentally and physically exhausted.:afr:um


----------



## Graeme1988

_F...ck !!_ It's crap having no-one to turn to for advice when I don't know what I should do.


----------



## Graeme1988

Currently don't know if I'm ever gonnae make music again...


----------



## leaf in the wind

Demotivated.


----------



## SparklingWater

Cautiously optimistic. Motivated. Excited.


----------



## Graeme1988

Things seemed to be going so well for me up until now... guess my luck had to change or run out at some point.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Gone, forgotten.


* *








 Parting gift, one of my favourite songs.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Gone, forgotten.
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Parting gift, one of my favourite songs.


are you leaving the forum?


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Things seemed to be going so well for me up until now... guess my luck had to change or run out at some point.


Graeme1988, I'm glad to hear things seemed to be going well for you.. your luck will not run out. it's about God


----------



## Deaf Mute

Frustrated and hateful because people in this country are so stupid and obnoxious, and my parents are so imperfect and keep making mistakes when you can't be any less than perfect if you want to be survive here.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> are you leaving the forum?


Need a break from forum.

In addition, you have always been there for me. I would līke to thank you for that and it is always much appreciated. 

You are like a Angel on earth.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Need a break from forum.
> 
> In addition, you have always been there for me. I would līke to thank you for that and it is always much appreciated.
> 
> You are like a Angel on earth.


lol, i dunno about angel, but thank you for the nice words and no problem. 

hope you get more recharged and feel better.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> lol, i dunno about angel, but thank you for the nice words and no problem.
> 
> hope you get more recharged and feel better.


Yes, a Tea Battle Angel, much like -


* *












But generation two. Fighting life battles. Strong is our Tea Battle Angel.

You're welcome.

Thank you for your kind words. 



lily said:


> Why? Ok you'll be missed! i really appreciated your affection for me when i was down. :squeeze


Just exhausted. Lots going on in my life at the moment.

You're welcome.


----------



## tea111red

@Uniman

hehe. thanks for the video and take care!


----------



## Fun Spirit

@Uniman :squeeze

_ SPIRITO BAMBITO _


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> @Uniman
> 
> hehe. thanks for the video and take care!


You're welcome.

You take care too.



Fun Spirit said:


> @Uniman :squeeze
> 
> _ SPIRITO BAMBITO _


Thank you. :hug



lily said:


> Ok take care! I guess you don't want to talk about it on here! :hug


:hug


----------



## leaf in the wind

I feel better, like emerging from a deep dark depression. Having a day off really did wonders.

Did my laundry, took out the trash, bought groceries, and did some productive studying.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm feeling like crap. But I've done it to myself.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Need a break from forum.


Hope you're okay mate - have a nice rest and take it easy for a while. We'll be thinking of you.


----------



## Trovador

Scared about a job interview tomorrow.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Tried to fix my sleeping pattern a few days ago, ****ed it up again the next day. Trying again now. Just loose track of time completely and feel pretty drained at the moment. And dead again.

I always go back to living this:



> Although there is the belief people with schizoid personality disorder are complacent and unaware of their feelings, many recognize their differences from others. Some individuals with SPD who are in treatment say "life passes them by" or they feel like living inside of a shell; they see themselves as "missing the bus" and complain of observing life from a distance.[18][19]
> 
> Aaron Beck and his colleagues report that people with SPD seem comfortable with their aloof lifestyle and consider themselves observers, rather than participants, in the world around them. But they also mention that many of their schizoid patients recognize themselves as socially deviant (or even defective) when confronted with the different lives of ordinary people - especially when they read books or see movies focusing on relationships. Even when schizoid individuals may not long for closeness, they can become weary of being "on the outside, looking in." These feelings may lead to depression or depersonalisation. If they do, schizoid people often experience feeling "like a robot" or "going through life in a dream."


It's pretty sad that the 'ordinary people' can just be people on this forum who seem to have... I don't know. A soul. 'ordinary' isn't the relevant factor.


----------



## harrison

Much better than yesterday - and still off my medication. I could feel the tingling up and down my arms again this morning that I used to get with mild mania. Even talking to my therapist would bring it on when I was taking the meds. It's like a sort of over-stimulation I think - I also get it just talking to people, I have to be careful not to get worked up. It's annoying.

I could feel it again talking to a friend on the phone - a mild sense of urgency and almost like a sense of impending doom. But I finished the conversation and it felt a lot better.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I'm feeling like crap. But I've done it to myself.


I hope you feel better after some sleep. Stay strong. :hug



harrison said:


> Hope you're okay mate - have a nice rest and take it easy for a while. We'll be thinking of you.


Some entertainment to keep you busy in the mean time -


* *












:O


----------



## Blue Dino

Suppressed unoptimism.


----------



## tea111red

i'm trying to make myself tired.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Some entertainment to keep you busy in the mean time -
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :O


Oh man - I really liked that! :O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Oh man - I really liked that! :O


The wardrobe malfunction was very clever. :O


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Having a very lonely day today.


----------



## SparklingWater

Cared for.


----------



## harrison

Not too bad but I think I might have been a bit odd over the last few days.


----------



## Chris S W

So tired. I need to sleep more than 6 hours a night I guess.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Stressed, lonely.

Lonely on here and lonely off here which makes it hard to have a break. 

Sleep helped a little bit.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Stressed, lonely.
> 
> Lonely on here and lonely off here which makes it hard to have a break.
> 
> Sleep helped a little bit.


No need to be lonely on here mate - this place is addictive too so it's hard. 

Glad you feel a bit better after a sleep.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> No need to be lonely on here mate - this place is addictive too so it's hard.
> 
> Glad you feel a bit better after a sleep.


Thank you for your kind words mate.

Just was very exhausted.

Basically don't get good sleep for days. Then solve something and feel better, so sleep.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Having a very lonely day today.


Sorry to hear. 

Feeling that way too mate.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Thank you for your kind words mate.
> 
> Just was very exhausted.
> 
> Basically don't get good sleep for days. Then solve something and feel better, so sleep.


Yeah, it's often hard to get a good night's sleep mate - I have that problem too, although probably for different reasons. (mania - mood problems etc) My psychiatrist used to always ask how I was sleeping - very important as far as mental health is concerned.


----------



## andy1984

too lazy to go out. i want to go out though...


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yeah, it's often hard to get a good night's sleep mate - I have that problem too, although probably for different reasons. (mania - mood problems etc) My psychiatrist used to always ask how I was sleeping - very important as far as mental health is concerned.


They say at least 8 hours minimum uninterrupted is best when an adult. I think 10 to 12 hours is ideal and normal for kids.

In addition, it is why I started to take Vitamin C, as it knocks me out not long after taking it and keeps the flu away.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Lonely on here and lonely off here which makes it hard to have a break.


yes....i feel the same.


----------



## SparklingWater

Surprised, relieved, curious, excited, nervous.


----------



## Graeme1988

Hoping things starts go well for me again. These past few days huv been utter $h!#_e. 
And really depressing. On a more positive note, my nieces seem to like me more than their mother. :grin2:


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I hate being alive.


----------



## 0589471

SamanthaStrange said:


> I hate being alive.


I honestly came in here to write the same exact thing =/ :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> I hate being alive.


 :squeeze.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> I hate being alive.



















A Toxic Butterfly said:


> I honestly came in here to write the same exact thing =/ :squeeze


:hug:squeeze

Sorry to hear that both of you are feeling that way.


Uniman said:


> Sorry to hear.
> Feeling that way too mate.


 :rub

I hope you feel better soon, man.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> yes....i feel the same.


:sigh :hug



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub
> 
> I hope you feel better soon, man.


Thanks mate.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> I honestly came in here to write the same exact thing =/ :squeeze





tea111red said:


> :squeeze.





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thanks for the replies.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks for the replies.


No problem darling.


----------



## 3stacks

Depressed


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Depressed


Sorry to hear.

Might need to add coal, water to the boiler. Stop at the station, we will refill with water, coal. :b

Yeah, trying to make him laugh. Best medicine when feel that way.


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Depressed
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry to hear.
> 
> Might need to add coal, water to the boiler. Stop at the station, we will refill with water, coal.
> 
> Yeah, trying to make him laugh. Best medicine when feel that way.
Click to expand...

 hahah might just derail instead


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> hahah might just derail instead


Then the reaction will be just like watching out for the tree in George of Jungle movie. :O


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> hahah might just derail instead
> 
> 
> 
> Then the reaction will be just like watching out for the tree in George of Jungle movie. /forum/images/SAS_2015/smilies/tango_face_surprise.png
Click to expand...

 :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> :lol


That is what we like to see. :grin2:


----------



## Suchness

Spaced out and body doesn’t feel good. I woke up at 4am and couldn’t go back to sleep right away so I watched some tv and fell back asleep till 7.30. Don’t remember the last time I slept so much but it wasn’t a deep sleep, had a weird dream too. What happened to me in those couple of hours.


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> Spaced out and body doesn't feel good. I woke up at 4am and couldn't go back to sleep right away so I watched some tv and fell back asleep till 7.30. Don't remember the last time I slept so much but it wasn't a deep sleep, had a weird dream too. What happened to me in those couple of hours.


well, at least you're sleeping more....


----------



## Fun Spirit

Suchness said:


> Spaced out and body doesn't feel good. I woke up at 4am and couldn't go back to sleep right away so I watched some tv and fell back asleep till 7.30. Don't remember the last time I slept so much but it wasn't a deep sleep, had a weird dream too. What happened to me in those couple of hours.


Have you been overworking yourself Suchness? You should take it easy: (
You must have been tired: ( 
What kind lf dream was it?: O

@Uniman You are like one of the popular members of SAS and yet you feel lonely? : ( You have SO MUCH love and support here on the forum to not feel lonely I am sorry you feel lonely 
:squeeze 
Hang in there Uniman

_ SPIRITO BAMBITO_


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Fun Spirit said:


> @Uniman You are like one of the popular members of SAS and yet you feel lonely? : ( You have SO MUCH love and support here on the forum to not feel lonely I am sorry you feel lonely
> :squeeze
> Hang in there Uniman
> 
> _ SPIRITO BAMBITO_


Thank you for you kind words, support. It is much appreciated. :hug

I miss my lost family at times (when people talk about family on here or see families in real life). Never see my family again. Just feel alone without them and having to take on stressful issues.



lily said:


> i feel bored/lonely. sorry you feel that way too Uniman  :squeeze


Sorry to hear.

Thank you for your kind words. Much appreciated. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> :hug @ Uniman, what stressful issues?


I'm not allowed to talk about the issues, as they partly involve others issues, their privacy that I have to respect.


----------



## Not Human

I feel bored.


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> well, at least you're sleeping more....





Fun Spirit said:


> Have you been overworking yourself Suchness? You should take it easy: (
> You must have been tired: (
> What kind lf dream was it?: O
> 
> @Uniman You are like one of the popular members of SAS and yet you feel lonely? : ( You have SO MUCH love and support here on the forum to not feel lonely I am sorry you feel lonely
> :squeeze
> Hang in there Uniman
> 
> _ SPIRITO BAMBITO_


It's just one of those days, it's happened twice this year so far. It's how I got depression a few years ago so I hope that doesn't happen.

The dream was intense, weird and kind of cool. I was with some people, I think some of the players from the TSM League team and we were in a empty warehouse fighting and running away from human like monsters.


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> It's just one of those days, it's happened twice this year so far. It's how I got depression a few years ago so I hope that doesn't happen.


what triggered the depression? feeling spaced out?


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> what triggered the depression? feeling spaced out?


Probably whatever negativity I was experiencing in my sleep. When I had depression I was half asleep all night having worrying and negative thoughts and dreams. When I woke up it hit me like a bomb went off in me, I was depressed mentally, emotionally and physically. It wasn't like "Oh, I've had anxiety for years and it's making me feel depressed", it was legit clinical depression. So yeah, don't want to go through that again.


----------



## 0589471

like I shouldn't have been born


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> Probably whatever negativity I was experiencing in my sleep. When I had depression I was half asleep all night having worrying and negative thoughts and dreams. When I woke up it hit me like a bomb went off in me, I was depressed mentally, emotionally and physically. It wasn't like "Oh, I've had anxiety for years and it's making me feel depressed", it was legit clinical depression. So yeah, don't want to go through that again.


what did you worry about and what kind of negative thoughts?


----------



## Suchness

tea111red said:


> what did you worry about and what kind of negative thoughts?


Not sure, it was random.


----------



## tea111red

Suchness said:


> Not sure, it was random.


were spirits contacting you? j/k


----------



## harrison

Exhausted - I feel like I've been hit by a truck. 

Probably have come down from whatever high I was on so I think I'll sleep well tonight.


----------



## tea111red

i'm feeling dread.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Exhausted - I feel like I've been hit by a truck.
> 
> Probably have come down from whatever high I was on so I think I'll sleep well tonight.


Sorry to hear mate. I think the heat doesn't help.



tea111red said:


> i'm feeling dread.


Awww. :hug


----------



## Graeme1988

harrison said:


> You're a good guy for looking after your Mum.


I know, if only my older sister would realise that, rather than constantly saying I'm good for nuthin'. Plus, ah think it's start to take a toll on ma health.  Since I rarely get a break from having to care for my Mum. Yet, me point that oot makes me come across as selfish to my mother.



harrison said:


> How old are you btw?


I'm 30... even though I don't feel like I'm that age, or look that age, really. :grin2:


----------



## GNicole17

I have a university interview on Saturday and want to die :shock


----------



## SparklingWater

Bored. Today will drag on. Also anxious and embarrassed about something. Hopefully it's not as bad as I think it will be.


----------



## funnynihilist

Didn't sleep well


----------



## harrison

GNicole17 said:


> I have a university interview on Saturday and want to die :shock


You poor thing - My God I hate interviews. I can remember going to them at my Uni and I used wish I could just quietly slide underneath the carpet.

Hope it goes okay for you.


----------



## Skygrinder

Feeling alright, just a bit sad that I have no one that really cares about me. Not that big of a deal, really, just...you know, meh.


----------



## harrison

One of the worst things about mania and one that most people don't even talk about is the rage you can feel sometimes. It's truly frightening when you realise the level of hatred you're actually capable of.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm not a happy camper.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sad for no real reason right now. Had some ups and downs today. :sigh:rain



harrison said:


> One of the worst things about mania and one that most people don't even talk about is the rage you can feel sometimes. It's truly frightening when you realise the level of hatred you're actually capable of.


 :rub



Crisigv said:


> I'm not a happy camper.


:hug:squeeze



CNikki said:


> A mix of emotions, but in the end, nothing.
> 
> What little of good things and people are slipping away from me. Nothing I seem to do can ever turn out well (and I do have evidence to back such claims up, despite people who'll tell me it's all in my head). And being sick for way longer than expected which is taking a physical toll on me is just too much for me to process.
> 
> I do not want this. I want things to be like how they were a year ago. Not the BS I have now.


:hug:squeeze


----------



## komorikun

I keep thinking codemonkey is aussiepea.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

The more i socialize with people the more lonely i feel, the more it doesn't work out the more i want it too.. man i wish i never started talking to people, i wish i could go back to isolating myself again.
I was so happy back then, i didn't feel this weight in my chest from having no one to connect or talk too, i never had to worry about people treating me like ****.
I did not have a crush and could live my days peacefully, but now i have one and it's terrifying and painful to know it most likely won't work out even though they said it was mutual.
They are so talented, special, unique and I'm this bland ball of **** and anxiety, i have nothing to really offer anyone.
Not to mention i made a friend a few months ago, she treated me like ****, confronted her with it and we had a huge falling out today.
That 'friend' said i had issues, but she was the one that couldn't take basic criticism.
****, ****, **** this is scary. for the first time in years I'm scared of being alone.

So i guess i'm feeling anxious,scared and alone.


----------



## tea111red

eh.


----------



## SparklingWater

Jealous. Frustrated. Left behind. Angry.


----------



## Graeme1988

Awful. Got a sore throat, and barely got much sleep last night.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Tired, lonely.


have you been doing a lot of "hard yakka"?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> have you been doing a lot of "hard yakka"?


Lots of driving.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Lots of driving.


your nissan?


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Tired, lonely.


Don't worry mate - you'll feel better after a good night's sleep.

I'm feeling hot - it's been so muggy the last couple of days and this flat gets hot in the kitchen when I cook. Oh boy, maybe I should invest in some airconditioning.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> your nissan?


Yeah, lots of fun to drive.



harrison said:


> Don't worry mate - you'll feel better after a good night's sleep.
> 
> I'm feeling hot - it's been so muggy the last couple of days and this flat gets hot in the kitchen when I cook. Oh boy, maybe I should invest in some airconditioning.


Thank you for your kind words mate. Exactly what I need, sleep.

Maybe a fan, range hood?


----------



## Not Human

Everyday is the same shade of gray for me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Watching this -


* *












I feel like going. :O


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Watching this -
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I feel like going. :O


you feel like going on that show? lol


----------



## 8888

Slightly optimistic


----------



## discopotato

Sick as a dog


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Productive and also kinda glad but a bit annoyed that I ended up not having to go to work today. I didn't get much work this week at all. But at least I'm getting nine hours Sunday.


----------



## GNicole17

Thank you, I'm literally dreading it! They are the worst, that is exactly how I am going to feel, ugh. How did you get through it? lol:sus


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> you feel like going on that show? lol


I would be frustrated driving the cars they were driving. Not enough hp, torque.

Had some funny parts, arguments, races between couples. Usual stuff they script to happen in one of those types of TV shows.



discopotato said:


> Sick as a dog


Awww. :hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Productive and also kinda glad but a bit annoyed that I ended up not having to go to work today. I didn't get much work this week at all. But at least I'm getting nine hours Sunday.


Sounds like you like work or like to be busy, not idle.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Uniman Just busy enough to where I still have some free time, though. :b But yea. I do like to be busy.


----------



## Graeme1988

So, apparently, my older sister thinks that because I never came down to take my plate to my room when our Mum served up dinner this evening. It’s my fault our mother fell down the stairs after she came up to my room, handed me my dinner and made her way back downstairs? Sod the fact neither o’ them shouted up to me that dinner was even ready. :bash


----------



## Chris S W

Tired still. So I'm buying much higher strength Vitamin D supplements. I'm quite sure that's the problem from past experience.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Uniman Just busy enough to where I still have some free time, though. :b But yea. I do like to be busy.


So are a -


* *












:O


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> So are a -
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :O


Lol :lol


----------



## Crisigv

Tired and depressed


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired and lonely.



Crisigv said:


> Tired and depressed


  :hug :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> I would be frustrated driving the cars they were driving. Not enough hp, torque.
> 
> Had some funny parts, arguments, races between couples. Usual stuff they script to happen in one of those types of TV shows.


They should've upped the ante and put them in a Smart car.


----------



## harrison

I'm not too bad thanks but I definitely need some some salt and vinegar chips to go with this beer.

Plus I'd rather be in Jakarta.


----------



## copper

Darn congestion, and post nasal drip waking me up. On top of that having a major snowstorm. Don't want to go to work. I will have to work like a pack mule getting the driveway done this morning in order to get going. My place of employment won't close down even if the building was on fire.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> They should've upped the ante and put them in a Smart car.


A proper racecar. Even a BTCC racecar with only around 300hp is fun to ride in.



harrison said:


> I'm not too bad thanks but I definitely need some some salt and vinegar chips to go with this beer.
> 
> Plus I'd rather be in Jakarta.


Good to hear.

Also on a reclining like deck type chair on the beach. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol :lol


I knew it. Always the last to know.



Crisigv said:


> Tired and depressed


:hug

I hope you feel better after some sleep.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Good to hear.
> 
> Also on a reclining like deck type chair on the beach. :b


That would definitely be good mate.

Hope you're feeling better and have a great weekend.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> That would definitely be good mate.
> 
> Hope you're feeling better and have a great weekend.


:yes

Thank you for asking and for your kind words.

Got more sleep and more done, so feel better.

I hope you have a good weekend too.


----------



## sachk661

I am feeling great what about you?


----------



## tea111red

my sleep schedule is messed up.


----------



## Graeme1988

Depressed. Did’nae get much sleep last night. Full of the flu. Bracing masel’ for the worst n’ struggling to cope. With exception of the flu, it’s just a typical day in my $h!te life, really.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

So wanting to find another alternative forum right now.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> So wanting to find another alternative forum right now.


it's hard to find an active one where the people are like-minded. have you got any ideas?


----------



## tea111red

trying to psyche myself up to do stuff.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> it's hard to find an active one where the people are like-minded.


That is true.



tea111red said:


> have you got any ideas?


Forums can be downloaded.

Just the hosting cost's has to be paid for (it is why there is advertising on here).

If can find free hosting and the traffic to the site is not too much, then there is a way to move on from here.

Have seen that happen before with some forums and most move to the new forum which is a lot better in many ways. It is how it is setup, managed which makes the difference.

But most just go to another social networking site from here and rarely login here.


----------



## SparklingWater

So very emotionally and mentally tired. Don't know if I have it in me to continue. Only choice is to keep moving forward. God only knows why. Damn survival instincts lol.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I still have that strange "someone is looking over my shoulder" kind of feeling when I am laying down at night on my left side with my back facing away from my wall. It also feel like something magnetic is pulling me down on my side. I don't know what else to call it other that the way I am describing it. My bed is a spring matress. I hear we have our own magnetic energy field inside of us so I wonder if maybe there is a connection to my strange feeling and my spring matress bed. Recently when I lay on my right side with my back to my wall I can feel a little of the same pull. The feeling is now starting to be felt while I am sitting up. Like when I was sitting in a chair at our breakfast table. Whatever this is it is starting to be around me. Then again it feel like it is coming from inside of me. It is weird.

_ SPIRITO BAMBITO_


----------



## rdrr

hurting. wish things were easier.


----------



## harrison

Feeling alright - talked to my son last night for quite a while on the phone. He joked that he could book us in for lunch tomorrow - but he's not actually joking. I can't believe how busy that boy's life is. 

Also said could I text him to remind him about the lunch - because he'll probably be with his girl tonight. (who apparently is still not a "girlfriend." I wonder when they cross over into that territory?) Such a cheeky boy. 

I miss him.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> So wanting to find another alternative forum right now.





tea111red said:


> it's hard to find an active one where the people are like-minded. have you got any ideas?


But is this one really so bad? I haven't really noticed. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places - still seems okay really to me. Just a bit quiet.


----------



## tea111red

harrison said:


> But is this one really so bad? I haven't really noticed. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places - still seems okay really to me. Just a bit quiet.


nah...the activity is just slowing down. need a back up. haven't found one yet, lol. really don't know if i will.


----------



## harrison

tea111red said:


> nah...the activity is just slowing down. need a back up. haven't found one yet, lol. really don't know if i will.


A few years ago someone from here set up another one - from memory it's called Anxiety Space or something. I have vague memories of not even being allowed to mention it on here. That was weird.

Probably dead too now though, I really don't know. Otherwise psychcentral might be worth a look. I used to use that when I'd stopped my pills and needed people to talk me into going back on them. (that was in the bipolar section though) It was pretty busy back then.


----------



## tea111red

harrison said:


> A few years ago someone from here set up another one - from memory it's called ************ or something. I have vague memories of not even being allowed to mention it on here. That was weird.
> 
> Probably dead too now though, I really don't know. Otherwise psychcentral might be worth a look. I used to use that when I'd stopped my pills and needed people to talk me into going back on them. (that was in the bipolar section though) It was pretty busy back then.


lol, yeah....i remember that site. anxiety something or something, lol. @nxiety [email protected] ...that was it (memory stills works decently, i guess). anyway, i couldn't get into that site. didn't feel comfortable enough. same w/ psychcentral. i went there years ago......didn't feel comfortable enough so i didn't stay long.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm so sad


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> But is this one really so bad? I haven't really noticed. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places - still seems okay really to me. Just a bit quiet.


If cross some people on here that are part of a clique, which you don't do (you get along with them).

Best thing to do is leave if don't want to be bullied by the clique.



Crisigv said:


> I'm so sad


Awwww. :hug


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> If cross some people on here that are part of a clique, which you don't do (you get along with them).
> 
> Best thing to do is leave if don't want to be bullied by the clique.


Well, that's just a shame mate - I'm sorry that's happening to you. It's also weird - because I find it pretty bloody hard to imagine you pissing someone off. You're one of the nicest people I've ever met. (and I haven't even met you yet) 

Seems to me they should be trying to get people to stay - not drive them away. There'll be no-one left here soon.

Will be pretty quiet then. :O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Well, that's just a shame mate - I'm sorry that's happening to you. It's also weird - because I find it pretty bloody hard to imagine you pissing someone off. You're one of the nicest people I've ever met. (and I haven't even met you yet)
> 
> Seems to me they should be trying to get people to stay - not drive them away. There'll be no-one left here soon.
> 
> Will be pretty quiet then. :O


Thank you for your kind words mate.

It happens, that is life.

I can tell that you are nicer than me mate (by many miles). A genuine good person, along with many other people on here.

Echo, echo, echo. :b

Some forums fade away and new forums take over. Seen it happen many times over.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

* *












:crying:


----------



## tea111red

alone.


----------



## Blue Dino

My cold is coming in, along with array of already existing symptoms. Surprised it took me this long into the winter season for it to happen. Having constantly lower than 60F interior temp probably isn't helping. With the way I am right now, I am not sure if I can handle a cold.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> alone.


:hug


* *












My head is :yes to this music. :b :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Blue Dino said:


> My cold is coming in, along with array of already existing symptoms. Surprised it took me this long into the winter season for it to happen. Having constantly lower than 60F interior temp probably isn't helping. With the way I am right now, I am not sure if I can handle a cold.


Awww. :hug


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> :hug
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> My head is :yes to this music. :b :lol


haha.......i remember that movie. it's been years since i've seen it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> haha.......i remember that movie.


Doc Hollywood.

James Dean like car.

Strange seeing him called a Doc when he called someone else Doc (Back to the Future).



tea111red said:


> it's been years since i've seen it.


Probably would say, back in my day.  :b


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Doc Hollywood.
> 
> James Dean like car.
> 
> Strange seeing him called a Doc when he called someone else Doc (Back to the Future).
> 
> Probably would say, back in my day.  :b


i think i last saw it when i was 5 or 6, but yeah, i am getting up there ....


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

Oh, so born in the 80's, cool.


----------



## Daxi004

a bit dizzy


----------



## Crisigv

I ended up crying myself to sleep. And I woke up with a headache. Feel like crap.


----------



## Graeme1988

I don't see much point in anything anymore. My family doesn't even consider my feelings, they think that because they're _"only trying to help"_ I'm, for some reason, obligated to do as they suggest. Even when I'm not feeling well enough to do anything, and just want to rest, I've got to get out the house cuz it'll do me good.

Living somewhere else away from them would do me good, but that'll no happen any time soon.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Awkward. 
My Mom's guy bought his daughter over to meet is for the first time. It would had been BETTER if he told us. It was unexpected. We were just chilling in our rooms and he just dropped this on us. It would had been nice if we had a proper greeting. Anyway I was chill'n in my room laying on my bed watching Youtube. The curling cream I just used in my hair went all wrong. My hair was a mess. When we came out to meet her I notice my palms were sweaty. Not sure if it was from my space heater being on in my room or not but I defiantly had moist palms. I didn't think my hands would be sweaty. I didn't feel nervous. Just a bit awkward and shy but then those feelings went away sort of.

_ SPIRITO BAMBITO_


----------



## harrison

Fun Spirit said:


> Awkward.
> My Mom's guy bought his daughter over to meet is for the first time. It would had been BETTER if he told us. It was unexpected. We were just chilling in our rooms and he just dropped this on us. It would had been nice if we had a proper greeting. Anyway I was chill'n in my room laying on my bed watching Youtube. The curling cream I just used in my hair went all wrong. My hair was a mess. When we came out to meet her I notice my palms were sweaty. Not sure if it was from my space heater being on in my room or not but I defiantly had moist palms. I didn't think my hands would be sweaty. I didn't feel nervous. Just a bit awkward and shy but then those feelings went away sort of.
> _ SPIRITO BAMBITO_


Don't worry - she probably felt a bit uncomfortable too.


----------



## SparklingWater

Annoyed and impatient. Super vulnerable. Somewhat restless as well.


----------



## tea111red

bored


----------



## harrison

Feeling great - just had a nice lunch with my son. My wife couldn't make it because she couldn't find her phone so it was just the two of us and we had a nice talk. He looked tired and I talked him into going home for a nap. He never stops - that's not good.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Who cares about my feelings... :sigh


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> bored


Probably needed to offset bore that bore (I bet she is confused about what I'm on about as is a real brain teaser). :b



harrison said:


> Feeling great - just had a nice lunch with my son. My wife couldn't make it because she couldn't find her phone so it was just the two of us and we had a nice talk. He looked tired and I talked him into going home for a nap. He never stops - that's not good.


That is awesome mate. Lovely of him to meet you even though he was tired. One lucky dad.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Who cares about my feelings... :sigh


We do mate. Stay strong mate.


----------



## tea111red

trying to figure out how to stay committed to doing the stuff that will keep me feeling less sluggish. i think not feeling sluggish will help w/ the boredom problems.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> trying to figure out how to stay committed to doing the stuff that will keep me feeling less sluggish. i think not feeling sluggish will help w/ the boredom problems.


I think you said lack of sleep in the past was the issue. It usually takes 2x the time to do the same task if tired and chance of making a mistake is higher when tired.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> I think you said lack of sleep in the past was the issue. It usually takes 2x the time to do the same task if tired and chance of making a mistake is higher when tired.


yeah....my sleeping problems are a little better than they used to be, but i still deal w/ them, so yeah, that contributes some. stress also caused a lot of my fatigue problems.

you're right about it being much harder to do tasks and making mistakes when tired.

anyway, what i was talking about was staying on a liquid diet (or just sticking to foods that digest easily), lol. it seems to help combat the fatigue some. sticking to it is kind of hard for a variety of reasons......pretty restrictive and not a lot of variety, gets boring, more difficult to do when eating w/ others and out, etc.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

Oh, more food related. Makes sense. If tired, anxious, etc within a couple of hours after eating, sometimes body is reacting to the food. Have to stick to a certain diet and avoid certain foods with soy, wheat as ingredients (common ingredients most react to). Fresh food like banana's, oranges, not man made foods.

I find drinking bottled water helps with energy levels vs drinking sugar like drinks. But makes want to go more often.

Ion 4 drink in a bottle is another which I found out helps (sold in many countries).

Other than that, Charlies orange juice once and a while.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A bit worried about a few things I need to deal with.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Dreading this family gathering.


----------



## tea111red

depressed
alone


----------



## cloudydreams

not good


----------



## kesker

a little better....finally. damn colds. sun's out, too. double diggle.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm feeling sick. But it's normal, because I'm always feeling sick. I'm always depressed and I never get a chance to feel better.


----------



## kesker

SamanthaStrange said:


> Dreading this family gathering.


those can be "interesting" I hopoe it goes as well as it can. :squeeze

have a song:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> A bit worried about a few things I need to deal with.


:hug



tea111red said:


> depressed
> alone


:hug



Crisigv said:


> I'm feeling sick. But it's normal, because I'm always feeling sick. I'm always depressed and I never get a chance to feel better.


:hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Crisigv said:


> I'm feeling sick. But it's normal, because I'm always feeling sick. I'm always depressed and I never get a chance to feel better.


:hug:squeeze


----------



## CNikki

Tired and fed up. Same ol' ****.


Still not sure why I bother coming back here, too.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

CNikki said:


> Tired and fed up. Same ol' ****.
> 
> Still not sure why I bother coming back here, too.


:hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

kesker said:


> those can be "interesting" I hope it goes as well as it can. :squeeze
> 
> have a song:


Thanks. I hadn't heard that song yet. I'll get around to the whole album eventually, lol. 

It went alright, my brother was an A-hole, as usual, but that's the norm. :um


----------



## SparklingWater

Super proud of myself!!!


----------



## harrison

Tired - busy weekend.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am feeling alright for a change this afternoon. I ordered a new charger for one of my tablets that I put a new battery into last weekend, can't wait for it to arrive soon. I also have another online course starting up this week so that should be exciting. Also spent the morning and early afternoon with my Nona at the old age home with mother for lunch, which was fun.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not exactly sure. I guess a mixture of disappointment and nervousness. I saw that guy again at work today and looked at him a few times since he didn't even notice me at all. Maybe that encounter we had was awkward and he didn't like me. It sounded like someone was whistling, so I turned around and saw him. Although, I'm sure that was someone else. I'll never know. Couldn't even get up the courage to say anything. I'm scared if I did, he'd take that as flirting and get the wrong idea.


----------



## harrison

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Not exactly sure. I guess a mixture of disappointment and nervousness. I saw that guy again at work today and looked at him a few times since he didn't even notice me at all. *Maybe that encounter we had was awkward and he didn't like me.* It sounded like someone was whistling, so I turned around and saw him. Although, I'm sure that was someone else. I'll never know. Couldn't even get up the courage to say anything. I'm scared if I did, he'd take that as flirting and get the wrong idea.


Maybe he just didn't see you. Anyway - plenty of other guys will like you, it'll be okay.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

harrison said:


> Maybe he just didn't see you. Anyway - plenty of other guys will like you, it'll be okay.


Yea, maybe. He knows I work in that area but he probably still didn't notice me cause he asked me if I work in produce like 3 or 4 days before Christmas. :stu


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Not exactly sure. I guess a mixture of disappointment and nervousness. I saw that guy again at work today and looked at him a few times since he didn't even notice me at all. Maybe that encounter we had was awkward and he didn't like me. It sounded like someone was whistling, so I turned around and saw him. Although, I'm sure that was someone else. I'll never know. Couldn't even get up the courage to say anything. I'm scared if I did, he'd take that as flirting and get the wrong idea.


Mr Hunky? :O

Can't force things. They just happen naturally if they happen.


----------



## SparklingWater

Happy. Did a lot of hobby related stuff today. Learned quite a bit. Had a good time. Feel more like myself. More like who I want to be. Good stuff.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling like the second couple at 1:07+ are a couple? as the chemistry between them is -


* *












:O

They are on the same fitness level and have similar ability with dance moves. But the way they check each other out (flirting).


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> Mr Hunky? :O
> 
> Can't force things. They just happen naturally if they happen.


Haha. Well, I kept looking at him and couldn't stop. Sometimes, I'm like a dude on that. :lol But not literally.

I just wish I could not keep seeing him at the store cause it just makes me think about it more. I've been thinking about it all day, which is silly knowing that nothing will even happen. But that's what happens with me. :stu


----------



## Crisigv

meh, same old


----------



## tea111red

trying to make a decision.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Haha. Well, I kept looking at him and couldn't stop. Sometimes, I'm like a dude on that. :lol But not literally.


Women can look a guy up and down and have that yummy look on face. :b

Some women make sure the man they like is not looking when doing that.

Just if happen look when they don't expect it, yeah. :b :lol



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I just wish I could not keep seeing him at the store cause it just makes me think about it more. I've been thinking about it all day, which is silly knowing that nothing will even happen. But that's what happens with me. :stu


Nothing wrong with eye candy making your day better.

Something women, men share in common (looking at each other).



Crisigv said:


> meh, same old


:hug



tea111red said:


> trying to make a decision.


Yes, no, yes, no.

Darn it weighing up those pro's and cons that come with making a decision. :b

I hope you make that decision. :um :grin2:


----------



## tea111red

not making a decision is also making a decision. a decision that leaves me feeling distressed.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Very true.

:hug


----------



## tea111red

.....


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Uniman Eye candy indeed.  lol It sure made my day better but I was literally about to be off work.

I should be wary of people still. Never know about them.

And there's always other guys, too. Just don't see another guy actually putting in effort to talk or notice me like the other one did.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Uniman Eye candy indeed.  lol It sure made my day better but I was literally about to be off work.
> 
> I should be wary of people still. Never know about them.
> 
> And there's always other guys, too. Just don't see another guy actually putting in effort to talk or notice me like the other one did.


Suddenly work a little longer.  :b

Wary of people until can trust them. Many people that put on charm, but can't keep it up for long. Just being yourself can drive them away.

There is many people out there.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Tired, lonely.


Take one of your power naps.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> Take one of your power naps.


Already did a while ago. Just tired again. Heat doesn't help, 27 degrees C at night.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Already did a while ago. Just tired again. Heat doesn't help, 27 degrees C at night.


ice bath.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> ice bath.


Just need some ice in a Tropical paradise.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

A little frustrated but too jaded to really care...


----------



## SparklingWater

Excited! Practice, practice, practice don't give up! It gets easier, it gets better! Yay!!! Was stuck on something for 2 days. 3 hrs of just sitting trying to figure it out and bam the lights turned on and now I get it. Weird I can sometimes feel my brain plugging away, figuring **** out, learning. A dull ache. Neural networks being created and reinforced I suppose.


----------



## Suchness

SparklingWater said:


> Excited! Practice, practice, practice don't give up! It gets easier, it gets better! Yay!!! Was stuck on something for 2 days. 3 hrs of just sitting trying to figure it out and bam the lights turned on and now I get it. Weird I can sometimes feel my brain plugging away, figuring **** out, learning. A dull ache. Neural networks being created and reinforced I suppose.


Another way of doing is to solve a problem in silence with no thought. A lot of the great minds and scientists have solved their biggest problems this way. For example, Albert Einstein's quote "I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me." This kind of intelligence goes beyond the mind into a deeper state of being.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Unwell.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Cautious. I can't say a little joke here without having the thought of people possibly getting mad.

_ SPIRITO BAMBITO_


----------



## Suchness

Fun Spirit said:


> Cautious. I can't say a little joke here without having the thought of people possibly getting mad.
> 
> _ SPIRITO BAMBITO_


Don't worry about it, I got your back. We don't need to apologise for jokes if it upsets random people we don't even talk to.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I'm feeling so/so. I'm having one of those times where I need someone to talk too about God and Sex.


----------



## Suchness

Could be better, didn't get much sleep. Gonna be one of those days, at least I haven't been getting them lately.


----------



## tea111red

wish you'd be more cautious about posting your big, annoying flashing gifs.


----------



## harrison

Pretty knackered. Don't think I've got the energy to go all the way up to my wife's house today. Will just go to the city to get a few things and do my little walk from the markets down to Melbourne Central.


----------



## Fun Spirit

tea111red said:


> wish you'd be more cautious about posting your big, annoying flashing gifs.


Is this towards myself or someone else?

_ SPIRITO BAMBITO_


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Unwell.


 Get well soon Samantha!
:hug :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

^too dramatic. she has a lot more support than a lot of people on here.


----------



## Blue Dino

My energy level has been getting much better the past week or two. Yet I can't do much with it with non stop rain one after another.


----------



## Suchness

Blue Dino said:


> My energy level has been getting much better the past week or two. Yet I can't do much with it with non stop rain one after another.


You'll be ready to go as soon as the weather gets better.


----------



## tea111red

i wish i could live away from people/didn't have to be so close to neighbors.


----------



## Michael1983

Feeling anxious. I've had enough of people for one day.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Embarrassed a bit. Gave a little over 3 dollars in change to the girl at the cash register. She said I hate you then said just kidding. Sorry. :blush I told her I'm just getting rid of some of my change. Even though she was joking, it probably annoyed her a tad. Hehe. Felt good to get rid of some change, though.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> i wish i could live away from people/didn't have to be so close to neighbors.


Down here you can do that, but gets very quiet.

Maybe birds chirping, bugs, big spiders, etc, but yeah.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Embarrassed a bit. Gave a little over 3 dollars in change to the girl at the cash register. She said I hate you then said just kidding. Sorry. :blush I told her I'm just getting rid of some of my change. Even though she was joking, it probably annoyed her a tad. Hehe. Felt good to get rid of some change, though.


I'm guessing because had to count it? :b

Could be that she doesn't want to say what she really feels (because dealing with a customer)?

Or wanted to always say that in a conversation. :stu


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sad and lonely. What else is new...


----------



## blue2

Nobody takes me serious, I think it's the Santa hat : (


----------



## rabidfoxes

Sad-ish. I went to see a gig I would have chewed my hand off to see when I was a teenager and it was not good. I walked out after two songs because I could have more fun having a drink at home and listening to records.


----------



## Maslow

rabidfoxes said:


> Sad-ish. I went to see a gig I would have chewed my hand off to see when I was a teenager and it was not good. I walked out after two songs because I could have more fun having a drink at home and listening to records.


YouTube is your friend. :yes

I used to like going to concerts when I was young for the party, so even if the band sucked, it was still fun.

Nowadays, I'd rather stay home and stream a concert. Then again, I'm old. :lol


----------



## harrison

Not bad - not tired anymore. Had a couple of days just taking it easy which always helps. Gotta go and pick up my wife's car though today.


----------



## SparklingWater

At peace.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Down here you can do that, but gets very quiet.
> 
> Maybe birds chirping, bugs, big spiders, etc, but yeah.


is it inexpensive to live there?

do you mean spiders like this?










haha.

there are some desolate places here, too, it just takes money to live somewhere else than where i'm at now. i need to earn a better living. it feels like it will be so long before that happens.....if it ever does. it's depressing.


----------



## funnynihilist

Been better


----------



## harrison

tea111red said:


> is it inexpensive to live there?
> 
> do you mean spiders like this?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> haha.
> 
> there are some desolate places here, too, it just takes money to live somewhere else than where i'm at now. i need to earn a better living. it feels like it will be so long before that happens.....if it ever does. it's depressing.


Is that spider real? That looks like it's been photoshopped or something tbh.

I can't even imagine a spider that big - if I saw one that big I'd definitely have a heart-attack.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> is it inexpensive to live there?
> 
> do you mean spiders like this?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> haha.
> 
> there are some desolate places here, too, it just takes money to live somewhere else than where i'm at now. i need to earn a better living. it feels like it will be so long before that happens.....if it ever does. it's depressing.


NZ, yes. Australia not so much due to extra taxes, etc. But in Australia you earn a decent wage (more than some places in the states and more than in NZ for the same job), things like food is cheaper to buy in Australia than in NZ and being on the Gold Coast in Australia is said to be similar to Miami. Australia is a lot hotter than NZ or the islands, sometimes 10-20 degrees C hotter.

Travelling between Australia and NZ or islands is like couple hundred or more dollars local money, so vacations are cheap.

The snakes that can get into the smallest of places, spiders, bugs in shoes (have to check shoes before putting them on, more so near the country side in Australia).

Get Koala's sometimes if close to where they are located that want some water, or things like this happen -


* *












They can be quite noisey when territorial, or near one of their young, but quiet most of the time.

Crocodiles (Alligators in the US).


----------



## tea111red

@harrison

:stu

another pic of one.










@Uniman

that koala is cute. hehe.

it would be freaky to find some giant spider or bug in my shoe....haha.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> @Uniman
> 
> that koala is cute. hehe.
> 
> it would be freaky to find some giant spider or bug in my shoe....haha.


:yes

Looks like he or she was thinking, I don't remember mum talking like this or having those bumps. :b :lol

The adult Koala's are heavy.

I think they like the dark area's inside shoes.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> :yes
> 
> Looks like he or she was thinking, I don't remember mum talking like this or having those bumps. :b :lol
> 
> The adult Koala's are heavy.
> 
> I think they like the dark area's inside shoes.


do you ever see this kind of thing when driving in your nissan?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Uniman I think she was just being funny since she said she was just joking. She talks to me every now and then and I talk to her every now and then. Probably one of the few girls that is friendly like that. Her and one other girl. Had to get rid of that darn change, though.


----------



## tea111red

^btw, how i was feeling was "inquisitive"....to stay on the topic. haha.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> do you ever see this kind of thing when driving in your nissan?


Nope, but only in Australia got me. :lol

So I'm feeling happy to stay on topic. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Uniman I think she was just being funny since she said she was just joking. She talks to me every now and then and I talk to her every now and then. Probably one of the few girls that is friendly like that. Her and one other girl. Had to get rid of that darn change, though.


Sounds like she hangs around brothers a lot, as jokes around like men do.

Change can be annoying like that. But can exchange it on buses or go to dairy for sweets, etc.


----------



## harrison

tea111red said:


> @harrison
> 
> :stu
> 
> another pic of one.


Oh My God - that thing looks like it could eat a puppy. It's terrible.

Very glad one of those hasn't turned up on my wife's back window. I think we'd need a flame-thrower just to get rid of the damn thing.


----------



## tea111red

harrison said:


> Oh My God - that thing looks like it could eat a puppy. It's terrible.
> 
> Very glad one of those hasn't turned up on my wife's back window. I think we'd need a flame-thrower just to get rid of the damn thing.


haha.....yeah, and you could put that thing on a leash and walk it like a dog, too. it's that big.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Uniman She's pretty down to earth. Rare to find girls that are friendly like her to me. Some girls can be intimidating but she isn't. I asked her if she was getting off work cause I noticed she was buying groceries then said something else to her. I've gotten to where I initiate a little. Even said hey to a guy the other day. Not attracted to him in that kind of way but was just giving a friendly hey. He said hey but sounded like he was in a bad mood so I didn't want to bother him.


----------



## harrison

tea111red said:


> haha.....yeah, and you could put that thing on a leash and walk it like a dog, too. it's that big.


I looked it up and apparently they live up in north Queensland - long way from here. (thank God)

This one's not so big.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com....3-the-australian-bird-eating-spider-3399.aspx

When I was growing up in Sydney I was always told to watch out for funnel-webs and red-backs - I think they're a lot smaller but much more venomous.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Uniman She's pretty down to earth. Rare to find girls that are friendly like her to me. Some girls can be intimidating but she isn't. I asked her if she was getting off work cause I noticed she was buying groceries then said something else to her. I've gotten to where I initiate a little. Even said hey to a guy the other day. Not attracted to him in that kind of way but was just giving a friendly hey. He said hey but sounded like he was in a bad mood so I didn't want to bother him.


I have bumped into very pretty women that can be intimidating, so can relate to that.

Best to leave guys alone when in moods like that and talk to later on. Men tend to isolate and deal with their own feelings when in moods like that.


----------



## rabidfoxes

Maslow said:


> YouTube is your friend. :yes
> 
> I used to like going to concerts when I was young for the party, so even if the band sucked, it was still fun.
> 
> Nowadays, I'd rather stay home and stream a concert. Then again, I'm old. :lol


If Youtube was my friend, it would stop trying to sell me stuff 

I like the atmosphere too, if it's good. But it can also be a dealbreaker if the crowd feels like a bunch of selfish, aggressive hero worshippers (as in, if I get hit in the kidneys, I'd rather not be there). I don't know why, but sometimes it feels like the people are united by the common love for the music, and sometimes it's all about the competition for the best view.

Old people generally make a nicer crowd (I'm thinking about a They Might Be Giants gig I went to, which had lots of oldies and a great vibe), so you need to get yourself back there


----------



## tea111red

out of whack.


----------



## harrison

tea111red said:


> out of whack.


I was just thinking the same thing.

Why the hell can't I be like everyone else and not have to worry about all this crap.


----------



## harrison

Better after talking to my wife. She calms me down.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Better after talking to my wife. She calms me down.


A great woman.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> A great woman.


Yes, and very patient mate. I don't know how she puts up with me tbh.


----------



## tea111red

harrison said:


> I was just thinking the same thing.
> 
> Why the hell can't I be like everyone else and not have to worry about all this crap.


yeah, it's pretty distressing having this feeling persist.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> I have bumped into very pretty women that can be intimidating, so can relate to that.
> 
> Best to leave guys alone when in moods like that and talk to later on. Men tend to isolate and deal with their own feelings when in moods like that.


It's funny because I have SA and was feeling all happy and dandy and I'm sure he doesn't have it, yet he was in a bad mood. Haha. I wasn't exactly happy but more like just in a good mood. I'm slowly but surely getting more talkative. It might be small talk but I'm initiating. And that's trying. ...Yea, I did the right thing by not saying anything to him. It's like my brain knew not to say anything to him. Just felt like it was something I did but knew it couldn't have been.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yes, and very patient mate. I don't know how she puts up with me tbh.


I think she loves you mate (you have a piece of her heart so to speak).



PurplePeopleEater said:


> It's funny because I have SA and was feeling all happy and dandy and I'm sure he doesn't have it, yet he was in a bad mood. Haha. I wasn't exactly happy but more like just in a good mood. I'm slowly but surely getting more talkative. It might be small talk but I'm initiating. And that's trying. ...Yea, I did the right thing by not saying anything to him. It's like my brain knew not to say anything to him. Just felt like it was something I did but knew it couldn't have been.


Exposure therapy does help. When socialize, people with SA feel less afraid as know what to expect.


----------



## tea111red

relief didn't last long.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Trying to enjoy my solitude on another lonely evening.


tea111red said:


> relief didn't last long.


 :hug


----------



## tea111red

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Trying to enjoy my solitude on another lonely evening.
> :hug


thanks, man....


----------



## Blue Dino

Suchness said:


> You'll be ready to go as soon as the weather gets better.


I just said screw it and ran in the cold pouring rain today.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

tea111red said:


> thanks, man....


 No problem, darling... :kiss::grin2:


----------



## Deaf Mute

I'm so tired.... mentally and physically, I wish I could teleport yo. :blank


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mild headache.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Craving caffeine again.


----------



## scooby

Non-existent.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Amazed at how well designed a Toyota 2JZ is.

Way more complex than my cars engine, but well built at factory to take a lot of hp.

Also explains where they got the girdle idea / update for some higher hp straight 6 engines.


----------



## Graeme1988

Tired. And extremely stressed out at having to constantly look after my mother.  At least my siblings get a break for it, but then our mother's suddenly fit as a f&#8230;ckin' fiddle whenever she's around them. With me it's... _"Oh, ma hip's sore. Oh, ma shoulder... I'm fed-up"_ :bash


----------



## tea111red

getting so upset has woken me up more so maybe now i will get my sleep schedule more normal again.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> getting so upset has woken me up more so maybe now i will get my sleep schedule more normal again.


:hug


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> :hug


thanks for your loyal support.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> thanks for your loyal support.


You're welcome. :hug :hug


----------



## SparklingWater

Sad and ashamed and embarrassed. Not dissociated though so that's a definite plus.


----------



## Dying note

Like I've hit another brick wall. I fail at this whole thing=Life.


----------



## tea111red

i feel upset and didn't sleep long enough. sleep schedule is still messed up.


----------



## Tundle#

OCD keeps ****ing with me


----------



## kesker

I feel like I hit another brick wall. This pretend life gets old. I feel pointless and I feel like my life is pointless. At this point I feel like my marriage is pointless and my family is pointless and everything is one big lifeless sham. I feel lifeless. And when you feel lifeless there is no way any of your relationships can be alive. Tonight sucks.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> i feel upset and didn't sleep long enough. sleep schedule is still messed up.


:hug


----------



## blue2

Like a hungry hungry hippo.


----------



## komorikun

kesker said:


> I feel like I hit another brick wall. This pretend life gets old. I feel pointless and I feel like my life is pointless. At this point I feel like my marriage is pointless and my family is pointless and everything is one big lifeless sham. I feel lifeless. And when you feel lifeless there is no way any of your relationships can be alive. Tonight sucks.


Did you get into a fight with your wife?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Stupid


----------



## harrison

I feel okay but I'm very sick of all this dizziness. I don't even know what it is but it's very annoying. Going to see a neurologist soon.

Had a nice afternoon at the mall with my wife and son but I'm always worried about him - he was tired today and a bit stressed out. The noise and the kids in the food court were driving him nuts.


----------



## harrison

kesker said:


> I feel like I hit another brick wall. This pretend life gets old. I feel pointless and I feel like my life is pointless. At this point I feel like my marriage is pointless and my family is pointless and everything is one big lifeless sham. I feel lifeless. And when you feel lifeless there is no way any of your relationships can be alive. Tonight sucks.


Sorry to hear that mate - hope you're feeling a bit better soon.


----------



## tea111red

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Stupid


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Stupid


:hug



harrison said:


> I feel okay but I'm very sick of all this dizziness. I don't even know what it is but it's very annoying. Going to see a neurologist soon.
> 
> Had a nice afternoon at the mall with my wife and son but I'm always worried about him - he was tired today and a bit stressed out. The noise and the kids in the food court were driving him nuts.


I hope you find the cause of the dizziness.

Good to hear you had a nice afternoon with family.

You are a good dad mate.

Sorry to hear about your son being stressed out.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> :hug


yeah, i got woken up and i didn't feel like going through a battle so i just got up. i could tell i wasn't going to be able to relax enough to fall back asleep then.

:stu

thanks....


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> I hope you find the cause of the dizziness.
> 
> Good to hear you had a nice afternoon with family.
> 
> You are a good dad mate.
> 
> Sorry to hear about your son being stressed out.


Thanks mate. It was pretty loud in the food court - quite a few little kids running around. We often have to move right away from that area - my wife hates the noise too. They just tend to squeal and scream.

I'm very glad I don't have to go through all that business again - little kids are great but they're exhausting.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> yeah, i got woken up and i didn't feel like going through a battle so i just got up. i could tell i wasn't going to be able to relax enough to fall back asleep then.
> 
> :stu
> 
> thanks....


You're welcome.

I find not thinking of worrying thoughts helps.

Think of something happy. If mind wanders to worrying thoughts, refocus on something happy.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate. It was pretty loud in the food court - quite a few little kids running around. We often have to move right away from that area - my wife hates the noise too. They just tend to squeal and scream.
> 
> I'm very glad I don't have to go through all that business again - little kids are great but they're exhausting.


You're welcome mate.

I often hear kids playing.

You are blessed to have had that life experience mate (kids).


----------



## SplendidBob

So stressed, and depressed. I am in that place where depression + OCD etc feels a lot like physical pain. I know it will eventually pass, but I need to get **** done and I can't focus.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@tea111red

 is right. I don't like feeling stupid.

@Uniman Thanks for the hug.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

kesker said:


> I feel like I hit another brick wall. This pretend life gets old. I feel pointless and I feel like my life is pointless. At this point I feel like my marriage is pointless and my family is pointless and everything is one big lifeless sham. I feel lifeless. And when you feel lifeless there is no way any of your relationships can be alive. Tonight sucks.


 I hope you feel better soon, my friend. :squeeze


----------



## NatePD

Today came my dads friends for a barbecue. And I freaked out. One is overly extroverted. His wife is a *****. Then two people I don’t know. I just couldn’t handle it. I’m in my room in panic, crying and feeling embarrassed. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## funnynihilist

I feel cold


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @tea111red
> 
> is right. I don't like feeling stupid.
> 
> @Uniman Thanks for the hug.


You're welcome.


----------



## kesker

@harrison @SamanthaStrange

thank you. :squeeze 
maybe a bit of seasonal stuff mixed in. all this rain has me stir crazy. too much thinking. :blank

@komorikun 
Nah, it could have gone in that direction (as it has in the past when I was feeling down). It's more to do with lack of energy. I don't sleep and Betsy works a long stressful day and gets home pretty late so it's the age-old angst about not having the motivation/energy to do things that are fun or life-filled etc. We've both been sick too so, yeah, just crying in my beer over here.


----------



## Chris S W

Unwell. Phoned in sick today. Have bad headache, dizzy, high temperature, chesty cough, feel generally bad. Last night my heart rate was ridiculously high and I felt kind of delirious when trying to sleep. I wasn't quite in reality. That was weird. Such a terrible night.


----------



## SparklingWater

Unmoored.


----------



## MMyoutube

I feel very happy now and relaxed, yesterday i was pretty anxious.


----------



## CNikki

Anxious and numb. Still stumped on how both can happen simultaneously.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Permanently discontent.


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable and lifeless. I wish the sun gave me energy, because it's gorgeous outside.


----------



## MMyoutube

Little bit anxious, pissed/mad because i have to wait and i don't like to wait.


----------



## CNikki

Crisigv said:


> Miserable and lifeless. I wish the sun gave me energy, because it's gorgeous outside.


Same...but felt to be stuck with other obligations, which is partially why I'm anxious to begin with.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Impatient...


----------



## tea111red

antsy


----------



## Graeme1988

Why do I get so emotionally attached... it only hurts in the end. :cry


----------



## SparklingWater

Exhausted


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> antsy


:hug



SparklingWater said:


> Exhausted


:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Miserable and lifeless. I wish the sun gave me energy, because it's gorgeous outside.


:hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Impatient...


:hug


----------



## Deaf Mute

I don't want to wake up tomorrow morning... and just thinking about all the people I know irl - unlocked new level of depression lol :blank, I didn't realize it was this bad until I started thinking...


----------



## EarthDominator

Sort of sadness, but more that I feel nothing at all.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel sorry for SAS. This website can really help people who has social anxiety. I don't think there are enough supporters out there who can help contribute. This forum feel like an asylum for us anxious people than an actual support group. And it seem that only a small percentage of people make improvement or try to make an attempt to improve. 
___________

I had checked out SAS's About Us info. Did you know they are located in Toronto, Canada? Here is their address:

111 Peter St, Suite 901, Toronto Ontario

I Google Map them. I even Google a "Verticalscope Inc" a social media company plateform that seem to help out some other interesting websites.

https://www.verticalscope.com/our-verticals/health/

Did you know SAS has a Facebook and Twitter page? From what I say un Public their Facebook and Twitter page has been inactive unfortunately. It is quite sad. It should be up and running. They also need a Youtube channel. They could really reach people from there.

Anyway I just believe that SAS could be a better website than what it is now. I don't think we as members are supporting each other as we could be without letting personal issues get the better of us. Some of us do have that love and support. We need more of this on SAS. More love than judgement. More support than than criticizing. I don't think we realize it but this is a LARGE forum. I never seen an social anxiety website as large as SAS. It is defiantly one of a kind. We as Members of SAS are representing the forum. Even representing anxious people as a collective on an online website.

I wish there was something I can do to make SAS a really great support group.

_ Spirito Bambito_


----------



## 3stacks

Vote @Fun Spirit for SAS presidency.


----------



## tea111red

nightmare


----------



## tea111red

stfu


----------



## tea111red

ban me


----------



## 3stacks

tea111red said:


> ban me.
> 
> _staff edit_


 me? What did I do lol


----------



## Musicfan

Headache and nausea.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@tea111red Are you okay? :um


----------



## harrison

I've just woken up and I feel like a truck ran over my head. Very nice.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@tea111red

:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I've just woken up and I feel like a truck ran over my head. Very nice.


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Sorry to hear mate.


Thanks mate - I'll be okay. I often feel pretty weird in the mornings (as opposed to when I feel weird later on in the day )

Will probably just need an extra mug of tea and maybe some Neurofen.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - I'll be okay. I often feel pretty weird in the mornings (as opposed to when I feel weird later on in the day )
> 
> Will probably just need an extra mug of tea and maybe some Neurofen.


You're welcome.

Hope that works and you feel better mate.


----------



## SparklingWater

Loooooong, long draining day. Will sleep soundly by 8pm. It's exhausting doing what you need to do to get your **** together. Times like these I have that vague desire to sleep and just not wake up. Not in an overt 'I want to die' sense, but in a 'I don't feel like getting up tomorrow just to do more work that doesn't come naturally to me' way. Sigh. When does it end. 

But the good times are becoming far more frequent so it's worth it. I think. Last week into this week have been the best weeks I've had in years. Think I need to accept drained and exhausted as my default state. Hmm actually I've been anemic for years and def don't take iron like I'm supposed to. That'd def contribute to the fatigue. Need to take a multivitamin as well. Need all the help I can get.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I really don't know. 

Feeling down in the dumps today. :/


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I really don't know.
> 
> Feeling down in the dumps today. :/


Awww. :hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> Awww. :hug


I'm not feeling good at all. :crying:

Think I'm just going to take a nap in a bit and refresh myself.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm not feeling good at all. :crying:
> 
> Think I'm just going to take a nap in a bit and refresh myself.


:sigh :hug

Sleep does help to be able to think better.

Wish you a good sleep.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

So depressed, and lonely.


----------



## harrison

I'm jealous and a bit excited.

My son's company just told him they're sending him to Dubai for 2 weeks, all expenses paid.

Now I want to be a programmer.


----------



## harrison

SamanthaStrange said:


> So depressed, and lonely.


Don't worry - you can still talk to us. (not that that's very exciting probably but better than nothing) :O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I'm jealous and a bit excited.
> 
> My son's company just told him they're sending him to Dubai for 2 weeks, all expenses paid.
> 
> Now I want to be a programmer.


Congrats to your son mate.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Congrats to your son mate.


Thanks mate. I'm so glad he did that Uni course - he's done very well for himself.

I wonder how many 60 year olds are studying programming?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate. I'm so glad he did that Uni course - he's done very well for himself.
> 
> I wonder how many 60 year olds are studying programming?


You're welcome mate.

Many of that age pioneered the way things are done these days.

Used to be called -


* *












:lol


----------



## CNikki

Zombie-like though I wish it would go in my favor to simply not give a damn about anything anymore.

Plus I really am starting to miss someone whom I'm sure they completely forgot about me by now. So there really is no win to this whole situation.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> You're welcome mate.
> 
> Many of that age pioneered the way things are done these days.
> 
> Used to be called -
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :lol


He was actually a pretty full-on hacker when he was a teenager. Glad he stopped all that. (at least I think he did) :O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> He was actually a pretty full-on hacker when he was a teenager. Glad he stopped all that. (at least I think he did) :O


Proved that there is a pool on the roof.  :b


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> :sigh :hug
> 
> Sleep does help to be able to think better.
> 
> Wish you a good sleep.


Thanks.  I feel better now.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks.  I feel better now.


You're welcome.

Good to hear.


----------



## SplendidBob

SamanthaStrange said:


> So depressed, and lonely.


:squeeze


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

So broken and lonely.


----------



## copper

Whats the point working where I do. Everyone thinks I am an idiot.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Being this age and having hardly any memories is too painful. I can never rest, knowing how much of my life has gone, been a waste of time, and how I just don't know how to improve it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Distracted...


----------



## SparklingWater

Physically uncomfortable. Otherwise content. Vaguest hint of something I can't name just yet in the background.


----------



## discopotato

Confused.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> I feel lonely right now


:hug



Pete Beale said:


> So broken and lonely.


Sorry to hear mate.



lily said:


> I feel sad that i think someone is ignoring me and that I'm not good enough. I regret posting the pics of me where i looked badly. Or a lot of times when i help others, i end up alone and I'm just feeling sad that's a fact.


:hug


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Uniman said:


> :hug
> 
> Sorry to hear mate.
> 
> :hug


Thanks mate. :smile2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Thanks Uniman  :squeeze


You're welcome.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Thanks mate. :smile2:


You're welcome mate.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Woke up really irritable and angry this afternoon. My mother told our doctor about me today and decided to get us going with a mental health Councillor in March. Wish me luck, or something. :sigh


----------



## firestar

Trapped. I'm stuck in a tiny little room, while my roommate takes up literally the rest of the apartment.


----------



## firestar

Decided to Google "how to stop roommate from hogging the living room" and felt better seeing the number of people who have had this problem. So I'm not crazy for being bothered by this.

She's _ten years_ older than me. You'd think she'd have learned how to share a living space by now.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> Being this age and having hardly any memories is too painful. I can never rest, knowing how much of my life has gone, been a waste of time, and how I just don't know how to improve it.


 :rub


----------



## Crisigv

I'm miserable. But what do feelings matter when you're just going to die soon.


----------



## Fun Spirit

3stacks said:


> Vote @Fun Spirit for SAS presidency.


lol.

_ Spirito Bambito_


----------



## Crisigv

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug:squeeze


Not sure why you keep trying to be nice when you made me feel like crap for being the way I am.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I'm miserable. But what do feelings matter when you're just going to die soon.


:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Distracted...


Mr Hunky?



discopotato said:


> Confused.


I can be like that at times, but eventually figure things out.


----------



## theusedblueandyellow

tired, and I tend to feel agitated some days.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

theusedblueandyellow said:


> tired, and I tend to feel agitated some days.


:hug


----------



## theusedblueandyellow

Thanks for the internet hug  That is very sweet. Hugs to you as well.


----------



## theusedblueandyellow

Thanks for the internet hug That is very sweet. Hugs to you as well. Sorry for the double message, trying to get used to this.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Uniman Yea. :sigh

I know he's single. Haha. He said he wanted to help me when he picked me up but haven't seen him since. Don't know what he meant by he wanted to help me. I know I've seen him at the store on Sundays. I'll probably see him more than likely this Sunday or Friday maybe. But I can't get it out of my mind. I'm trying my best to, though. Only thing that sucks about it. I feel like an idiot. I'll more than likely never get him.


----------



## theusedblueandyellow

Uniman said:


> :hug


Thanks for the internet hug That is very sweet. Hugs to you as well. Typed this message for the third time, hopefully I got it right this time. Still trying to figure out how to properly reply to people.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

theusedblueandyellow said:


> Thanks for the internet hug  That is very sweet. Hugs to you as well.





theusedblueandyellow said:


> Thanks for the internet hug That is very sweet. Hugs to you as well. Sorry for the double message, trying to get used to this.





theusedblueandyellow said:


> Thanks for the internet hug That is very sweet. Hugs to you as well. Typed this message for the third time, hopefully I got it right this time. Still trying to figure out how to properly reply to people.


You're welcome.

Done well replying, no problems or complaints here. 

Thank you for your kind words.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Uniman Yea. :sigh
> 
> I know he's single. Haha. He said he wanted to help me when he picked me up but haven't seen him since. Don't know what he meant by he wanted to help me. I know I've seen him at the store on Sundays. I'll probably see him more than likely this Sunday or Friday maybe. But I can't get it out of my mind. I'm trying my best to, though. Only thing that sucks about it. I feel like an idiot. I'll more than likely never get him.


Never say never. Things happen in strange ways.


----------



## 0589471




----------



## Fever Dream

:sigh


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


>


Absolute bliss mode.

Usually absolute bliss is related to Santorini, Greece where people go and do what you show with drink at about 0:20+ -


* *












Somehow I can see you doing that with the ideal person for you.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Uniman Well, he seemed sweet.  But he wasn't forward with me at all, which is good. I guess I never know. Kinda makes me want to walk to work more. Haha. More chances...I got butterflies when I saw him the last time at work.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Uniman Well, he seemed sweet.  But he wasn't forward with me at all, which is good. I guess I never know. Kinda makes me want to walk to work more. Haha. More chances...I got butterflies when I saw him the last time at work.


Awww, sounds like you really like him.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That I can't stop laughing.

Not only is this dog cute as anything, but the comments around the head, look on face make me laugh -


* *












:lol


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> me? What did I do lol


no, not you. you're good, lol.


----------



## Ghossts

Feeling good but there's this little thought in my mind that is annoying me a bit. It's all about loneliness. Feeling like I can't talk to anyone about it, feeling like I can't make connections with people.


----------



## Blue Dino

The feeling that many people are irritated of my presence. It keeps being triggered. And it makes me withdraw like a turtle. Yet the few people who do like me and are unaware of this, keeps pushing me to make my social presence strong. So this is likely pissing off majority of the others that dislike me and don't want me there. 

Base on my history, my instinct and feelings do end up being correct most of the time. Probably going to start gradually distancing myself from that group and just focus on interacting with the few there that likes my company for a little longer, before I completely cut off from them all.

Although in reality, I should probably focus on worrying about more important things than these petty menial things.


----------



## copper

Tired. Dang cats woke me up at 1 am and then I couldn't get back to sleep. I usually go to work before this but since we got a foot of snow I have to blow the driveway but got to wait until 7 am due to city ordinance saying can't run small engines like blowers or mowers before that time.


----------



## fallingfighter

feeling like absolute trash. my depression is the worst it’s been in a long time. my anxiety is ramped way up for no reason, and my suicidal thoughts are back (don’t worry, my counselor and parents are aware & im safe). i feel like i’m failing at life and there is nothing to look forward to... what if i’ve fought this hard and this long for nothing. what if my life is meant to be like this forever 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Unwanted. I don't belong anywhere.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

It just feels like we're all suffering from the same pain, but unable to help ourselves and each other. Sigh


----------



## Fun Spirit

SamanthaStrange said:


> Unwanted. I don't belong anywhere.





Pete Beale said:


> It just feels like we're all suffering from the same pain, but unable to help ourselves and each other. Sigh


:squeeze


_ Spirito Bambito_


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Fun Spirit said:


> :squeeze
> 
> 
> _ Spirito Bambito_


:squeeze


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> Unwanted. I don't belong anywhere.


i can understand this feeling.....


----------



## roxslide

hella nervous


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> Awww, sounds like you really like him.


I'm looooong overdue for good things to happen. :yes


----------



## Fever Dream

It would sure be nice if the people living in my apartment knew how to park.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Stressed.

Have to solve an issue to certain level / standard.

No pressure.

But in my mind -


* *












:O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm looooong overdue for good things to happen. :yes


:yes

Much like this -


* *


----------



## twistix

Skygrinder said:


> Feeling alright, just a bit sad that I have no one that really cares about me. Not that big of a deal, really, just...you know, meh.


I care about you


----------



## 3stacks

tea111red said:


> no, not you. you're good, lol.


Oh haha good. I didn't want to be in your warpath lol


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> Oh haha good. I didn't want to be in your warpath lol


haha


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Stressed.
> 
> Have to solve an issue to certain level / standard.
> 
> No pressure.
> 
> But in my mind -
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :O


are you a perfectionist?


----------



## twistix

Lonely & aimless


----------



## tea111red

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm looooong overdue for good things to happen. :yes


aw....it's exciting having a love interest.


----------



## tea111red

interest in being on here is decreasing more.....i guess that is good.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

tea111red said:


> aw....it's exciting having a love interest.


It definitely is. Can't stop thinking about it. But guess that's part of the fun.

@Uniman lol :nerd:


----------



## Crisigv

I don't know what to do. I just want to give up on everything.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> are you a perfectionist?


In some ways, yes.



tea111red said:


> interest in being on here is decreasing more.....i guess that is good.


We can't be "that" bad. :sus :b



PurplePeopleEater said:


> It definitely is. Can't stop thinking about it. But guess that's part of the fun.
> 
> @Uniman lol :nerd:


Way to go Paula, way to go. :O :b



Crisigv said:


> I don't know what to do. I just want to give up on everything.


If it is what I think you are talking about.

It looks like a stressful thing to do, but most changes in life are. Just have to not let it beat you, get that drive to overcome it. When there is a will, there is a way.

Look around for something. Just asking at places via email or visiting, as sometimes can catch businesses before they advertise.


----------



## harrison

I think a bit more settled. Started a low dose of my medication again last night - not good to stay off that for too long. I get a bit inappropriate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I think a bit more settled. Started a low dose of my medication again last night - not good to stay off that for too long. I get a bit inappropriate.


Good to hear that you are more settled mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Seeing couples, families and feeling very lonely.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Good to hear that you are more settled mate.


Thanks mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate.


You're welcome mate.


----------



## Graeme1988

Depressed, wishing I had more support in real life.


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Depressed, wishing I had more support in real life.


:hug


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> In some ways, yes.
> 
> We can't be "that" bad. :sus :b


it's just how i feel. i've been feeling more of a need to shield myself from upset. it's not going to get better so now i feel like i need to avoid more.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> :hug


Thanks, lily. My pet cat also passed away at the start of the week, so I'm still in shock over that. 

My older sister asked why I'm so sad about it cuz it was a stray cat that just happened to find his way to our house.

On top of that, my mother still says she not doing well since she feel a few week ago.



lily said:


> i feel bored today


Same, but I've been feeling quite unmotivated these past few weeks, mainly because I've been trying to get things tided out in my room but no-one seems intent on helping me out. Getting quite difficult to do stuff on yer own when you've got a physical disability... but I don't seem to have much choice but to fend for myself, sadly.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> it's just how i feel. i've been feeling more of a need to shield myself from upset. it's not going to get better so now i feel like i need to avoid more.


Awww. :hug


----------



## SparklingWater

Worried I'm trying to take on too much at once. Feels right so far though. Will keep checking in with myself to make sure I don't switch into overwhelm. Really trying to remain in my window of tolerance as I expand it little by little.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel like a fool. I guess you're worth waiting for.

_ Spirito Bambito_


----------



## Persephone The Dread

miserable


----------



## peacewillwinfearwilllose

Uneasy. Intrusive thoughts won't go away, I don't know how to "just let go" of something that's constantly being displayed in my head.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Awww. :hug


well, now i don't care as much. it is that way w/ me. i think i get over a lot of stuff pretty quickly. i kind of wish i could be more pouty or something sometimes. haha. eh, but i am not being triggered right now. when the trigger comes, who knows.


----------



## tea111red

that ahole motorcycle guy was told he is bothering people and was a jerk about it and today he is running it even longer. i really can't stand people like this.....people who know they are bothering someone w/ their obnoxious behavior and make it a point to be even more obnoxious after being told they're bothering others.

^^^i feel the need to be on this forum when this kind of crap happens.


----------



## peacewillwinfearwilllose

Persephone The Dread said:


> miserable


 You don't deserve to feel that way, I'm sorry. What's on your mind today?


----------



## tea111red

i really don't see how i'll ever completely get over my social problems as long as there are so many annoying people in the world.


----------



## tea111red

alright, now i'm remembering one reason why i was starting to lose interest in this place. it is almost like talking to myself. can't connect w/ people here.


----------



## peacewillwinfearwilllose

fallingfighter said:


> feeling like absolute trash. my depression is the worst it's been in a long time. my anxiety is ramped way up for no reason, and my suicidal thoughts are back (don't worry, my counselor and parents are aware & im safe). i feel like i'm failing at life and there is nothing to look forward to... what if i've fought this hard and this long for nothing. what if my life is meant to be like this forever
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I need you here. You are strong, you are brave, you are known, you are seen. I'm proud of you for reaching out for help. I'm proud of all the mountains you've climbed and all the days you've pushed through even when the weight was too much to carry. You are not a failure, you are strength. You will win this fight, you are safe. Keep going love, there is more to your story.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> well, now i don't care as much. it is that way w/ me. i think i get over a lot of stuff pretty quickly. i kind of wish i could be more pouty or something sometimes. haha. eh, but i am not being triggered right now. when the trigger comes, who knows.


Can retrain the brain to feel different when it triggers. Close eyes, vent the emotions at time of trauma.

One emotion at a time, like it is exiting top of head in a long stream (what you visualize). Like anger, then fear, etc. Then replace with cuddling yourself mentally. When triggers again you feel loved.



tea111red said:


> that ahole motorcycle guy was told he is bothering people and was a jerk about it and today he is running it even longer. i really can't stand people like this.....people who know they are bothering someone w/ their obnoxious behavior and make it a point to be even more obnoxious after being told they're bothering others.
> 
> ^^^i feel the need to be on this forum when this kind of crap happens.


I can imagine conflict where someone puts something rotten next to fence, so has to move bike to warm it up. :O



tea111red said:


> i really don't see how i'll ever completely get over my social problems as long as there are so many annoying people in the world.


Sorry Tea. 



tea111red said:


> alright, now i'm remembering one reason why i was starting to lose interest in this place. it is almost like talking to myself. can't connect w/ people here.


Hold your horses, you connect mentally with those beautiful horse creatures.

This is Avatar, remember?

Up and away, flying to to flying mountains. :O

But seriously :hug.

Sorry if I bore you.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> i really don't see how i'll ever completely get over my social problems as long as there are so many annoying people in the world.





tea111red said:


> alright, now i'm remembering one reason why i was starting to lose interest in this place. it is almost like talking to myself. can't connect w/ people here.


Yeah, I hear you, been feeling the same way recently.


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> Yeah, I hear you, been feeling the same way recently.


lol, glad to not be alone in my thinking here.


----------



## harrison

Slightly out of it probably - which is always nice when I first take this medication again. Or maybe it's just me - I can't even tell anymore.

Either way I need to get my *** into gear and get off this stupid screen.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> I can imagine conflict where someone puts something rotten next to fence, so has to move bike to warm it up. :O


something else was done to try to stop the noise from going on for so long. waiting to see if it works.

it's just not right this person is being more obnoxious now that he knows he bothers people. ran it even longer and revved it more this morning. :no

still thinking about how nice it would be to not be so close to neighbors.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Slightly out of it probably - which is always nice when I first take this medication again. Or maybe it's just me - I can't even tell anymore.
> 
> Either way I need to get my *** into gear and get off this stupid screen.


Make some coffee or tea?

Good excuse to walk away from the screen.



tea111red said:


> something else was done to try to stop the noise from going on for so long. waiting to see if it works.
> 
> it's just not right this person is being more obnoxious now that he knows he bothers people. ran it even longer and revved it more this morning. :no
> 
> still thinking about how nice it would be to not be so close to neighbors.


I hope it works and you get some peace. :hug

Sounds like have a rebel as a neighbour.

It gets quiet where I am, like now for example.

Only can hear birds (Fantail birds) chirping away to each other.

Fun to shhhh away at them and they respond. :lol

This is the sound of the Fantail bird -


* *


----------



## CNikki

****ty doesn't justify it, but it's the best thing that I can come up with right now.


I have many phone calls that I'm holding off and trying to see if I can get some sort of intervention done before I plummet back down to the point I may not get out of it. The last time that occurred it took months for me to really get back on my feet, and even now I have not been the same...


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Make some coffee or tea?
> 
> Good excuse to walk away from the screen.
> 
> I hope it works and you get some peace. :hug
> 
> Sounds like have a rebel as a neighbour.
> 
> It gets quiet where I am, like now for example.
> 
> Only can hear birds (Fantail birds) chirping away to each other.
> 
> Fun to shhhh away at them and they respond. :lol
> 
> This is the sound of the Fantail bird -
> 
> 
> * *


yeah, he was snotty the other day.

where are you at? NZ? some island off of Australia?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Garbage.

I wish there was some realistic way out of this crap.


----------



## CNikki

Pete Beale said:


> Garbage.
> 
> I wish there was some realistic way out of this crap.


I'm sorry that you feel this way. Hopefully you find a way (no drastic measures involved, though I can understand why one may think this.) I feel the same, too...


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

CNikki said:


> I'm sorry that you feel this way. Hopefully you find a way (no drastic measures involved, though I can understand why one may think this.) I feel the same, too...


I'll find a way if I beat preposterous odds and win tonights lotto. Won't have to give a flying **** about the vast majority of stuff then. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> oh that's such a cute bird Uniman  i like it


They can create damage to cars, etc.

Cute, but yeah.



tea111red said:


> yeah, he was snotty the other day.
> 
> where are you at? NZ? some island off of Australia?


Sorry to hear that.

That is the Australian Grey Fantail.

Guess?

The Secret Waterfall is your clue.



Pete Beale said:


> Garbage.
> 
> I wish there was some realistic way out of this crap.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Uniman said:


> They can create damage to cars, etc.
> 
> Cute, but yeah.
> 
> Sorry to hear that.
> 
> That is the Australian Grey Fantail.
> 
> Guess?
> 
> The Secret Waterfall is your clue.


Thanks mate. :squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

Old and unnecessary


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> Old and unnecessary


I wish I was feeling old and unnecessary at your age instead of this age lol. :serious:


----------



## Smallfry

Useless as usual


----------



## Crisigv

Uniman said:


> If it is what I think you are talking about.
> 
> It looks like a stressful thing to do, but most changes in life are. Just have to not let it beat you, get that drive to overcome it. When there is a will, there is a way.
> 
> Look around for something. Just asking at places via email or visiting, as sometimes can catch businesses before they advertise.


It's not specifically about job hunting. Just want to give up on life in general. I haven't even started looking for something else yet.



Pete Beale said:


> I wish I was feeling old and unnecessary at your age instead of this age lol. :serious:


It's not necessarily any better at this age.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Sorry to hear that.
> 
> That is the Australian Grey Fantail.
> 
> Guess?
> 
> The Secret Waterfall is your clue.


Somewhere in New South Wales?

:stu


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> It's not necessarily any better at this age.


Girl, I've been your age, I'm older than you. It was hard at your age, but even harder now. Had more hope and time when I was your age.


----------



## copper

Stressed out. Can't keep up with the snow. Tried getting the balcony shoveled off. Lower back went into spasm. Only got half of it done which includes blowing out of the driveway where it falls. NWS talking about up to two feet of snow and high winds late Saturday into Sunday. I don't have any family or friends to help me. I need to sell this house and get something more manageable.


----------



## SplendidBob

Smallfry said:


> Useless as usual


Noooo. You always impressed me with your jewellery business, far from useless . Hope you ok.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Thanks mate. :squeeze


You're welcome mate.



lily said:


> really? how? lol


They like car window seals.

There are birds worse than them which do the same, like this bird as one example -


* *














Crisigv said:


> Old and unnecessary


Always an amazing person. You know it.



Crisigv said:


> It's not specifically about job hunting. Just want to give up on life in general. I haven't even started looking for something else yet.


:sigh :hug



tea111red said:


> Somewhere in New South Wales?
> 
> :stu


Nope, cold.

Type what I said in Youtube and you'll have your answer.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Nope, cold.
> 
> Type what I said in Youtube and you'll have your answer.


I looked, but I'm probably still going to guess wrong. Haha.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> I looked, but I'm probably still going to guess wrong. Haha.


That is the risk you have to take to find the answer. 

PM me your answer.



lily said:


> oh i see!


:yes


----------



## 3stacks

Like I really really want to die for the millionth time (I don't mean that I've died before lol) just can't see the point of living


----------



## Smallfry

SplendidBob said:


> Noooo. You always impressed me with your jewellery business, far from useless . Hope you ok.


TY I guess that is the one thing that keeps me going  Yeah just lately struggling to find motivation to do simple everyday things.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> Like I really really want to die for the millionth time (I don't mean that I've died before lol) just can't see the point of living


I want to live but don't. Lifes just a pain in the arse most of the time if you aren't lucky enough to have certain things.


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Like I really really want to die for the millionth time (I don't mean that I've died before lol) just can't see the point of living
> 
> 
> 
> I want to live but don't. Lifes just a pain in the arse most of the time if you aren't lucky enough to have certain things.
Click to expand...

 it's just terrible when I've got mental health issues that I can't get rid of or even seem to alleviate any more. Gets tiring feeling suicidal but not being able to go through with it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Like I really really want to die for the millionth time (I don't mean that I've died before lol) just can't see the point of living


Your dog, he or she loves you.



lily said:


> I feel so lonely today it hurts my heart


Awww. :hug


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> Your dog, he or she loves you.


Yeah he does the little cutie


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Yeah he does the little cutie


Ready and waiting. :b


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> it's just terrible when I've got mental health issues that I can't get rid of or even seem to alleviate any more. Gets tiring feeling suicidal but not being able to go through with it.


I know man. The survival instinct is strong. I don't know what the breaking point will be with me. I've been like this for so long but somehow I manage to keep going. A lot of the time I wish I just didn't wake up, but I still do want to live at the same time, but can't. It's annoying as ****. I've hated the times I've actually had intrusive suicidal plans in my head, but then there's times when I've felt so fed up and wished I felt so suicidal I wish I could just get it over with. It's ****ed up mate but somehow we just manage to keep going. :serious:


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I want to die.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Like this -


* *












I think @tea111red is right, man card restored.  :b


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Persephone The Dread said:


> I want to die.


:frown2:


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah he does the little cutie
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ready and waiting.
Click to expand...

 for food, of course.


Pete Beale said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> it's just terrible when I've got mental health issues that I can't get rid of or even seem to alleviate any more. Gets tiring feeling suicidal but not being able to go through with it.
> 
> 
> 
> I know man. The survival instinct is strong. I don't know what the breaking point will be with me. I've been like this for so long but somehow I manage to keep going. A lot of the time I wish I just didn't wake up, but I still do want to live at the same time, but can't. It's annoying as ****. I've hated the times I've actually had intrusive suicidal plans in my head, but then there's times when I've felt so fed up and wished I felt so suicidal I wish I could just get it over with. It's ****ed up mate but somehow we just manage to keep going. /forum/images/SAS_2015/smilies/tango_face_plain.png
Click to expand...

 yeah that's exactly how I get


Persephone The Dread said:


> I want to die.


 Same! Hope you can manage to feel better if it's possible


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Uniman said:


> Like this -
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I think @tea111red is right, man card restored.  :b


I ain't watching that, but I had the whole of the Brit Awards on in the background the other night. :O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> I ain't watching that, but I had the whole of the Brit Awards on in the background the other night. :O


Some day will be converted to the -


* *












:O


----------



## Persephone The Dread

3stacks said:


> Same! Hope you can manage to feel better if it's possible


Thanks, same to you.


----------



## MCHB

Getting wasted! WOOOOOOOOOO!


Coincidentally two weeks ago I got wasted at my foreman's place (he lives just behind my apartment) and my track through the snowbank getting back to my apartment was hillarious lol. Apparently I staggered my way through the snowbank and used a tree for support, guided myself around the fence using it as a crutch before finally making it to the parking lot lol. He asked me at work on Monday "Did you walk towards the vehicles?" I was like "I saw the light of the apartment building and it was the most direct route!" To bad my tracks weren't ROFL!


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Good excuse to walk away from the screen.


And yet here I am again. :roll


----------



## harrison

I feel absolutely knackered - I felt fine yesterday so I have no idea what's happening.

A mate of mine called me last night and somewhere during the conversation he mentioned that I always seem okay when I'm with him. I told him that was because I only ever visit him (at the book market) when I'm okay. 

He's a good guy but people really don't understand mental health issues at all.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Confused. Haha.


----------



## Musicfan

Depressed today.



Persephone The Dread said:


> I want to die.


Those feels are hard to fight :rub


----------



## 0589471

Musicfan69 said:


> Depressed today.


:squeeze


----------



## Musicfan

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> :squeeze


Thanks, you seem like a nice supportive person


----------



## Crisigv

Preparing myself for another secluded, depressed weekend. I'm never fully ready, yet I know that's what's going to happen.


----------



## Suchness

Musicfan69 said:


> Thanks, you seem like a nice supportive person


She's a guardian.


----------



## MCHB

Drunk!


----------



## komorikun

copper said:


> Stressed out. Can't keep up with the snow. Tried getting the balcony shoveled off. Lower back went into spasm. Only got half of it done which includes blowing out of the driveway where it falls. NWS talking about up to two feet of snow and high winds late Saturday into Sunday. I don't have any family or friends to help me. *I need to sell this house and get something more manageable.*


Are you thinking of buying a condo?

I screwed up my thigh muscle and butt muscle on one side just from pushing snow off my balcony. Was walking funny for 2 days. Going from standing to sitting down was painful. Use muscles you don't normally use.


----------



## zonebox

With all things considered, and how I could be feeling, I'm feeling pretty good as usual.


----------



## funnynihilist

MCHB said:


> Drunk!


I'm joining you there buddy, two shots in...


----------



## 0589471

Musicfan69 said:


> Thanks, you seem like a nice supportive person


Thank you  You seem pretty cool yourself.


----------



## Kevin001

Friend is distant but I'll give her space.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> And yet here I am again. :roll


And there you go again, walked away and offline. 



harrison said:


> I feel absolutely knackered - I felt fine yesterday so I have no idea what's happening.
> 
> A mate of mine called me last night and somewhere during the conversation he mentioned that I always seem okay when I'm with him. I told him that was because I only ever visit him (at the book market) when I'm okay.
> 
> He's a good guy but people really don't understand mental health issues at all.


Wish you a good sleep mate.

Sometimes drugs make one feel that way (on top of feeling tired through natural means).

Sometimes just don't get much sleep for days, builds up and feel really tired.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Confused. Haha.


They are probably teasing you (coworkers).



Crisigv said:


> Preparing myself for another secluded, depressed weekend. I'm never fully ready, yet I know that's what's going to happen.


Awww. :hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Uniman It sure is a cruel way to joke cause I was feeling sad about it. I don't understand why they would go that far to joke. :/ Now, I've lost even more trust in people honestly. Guess I shouldn't let it bother me and keep trying to be more talkative like I have been.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I can't sleep. I am not tired yet. I must be crazy. Lol.


----------



## funnynihilist

pretty drunk. I'm gonna pay for this tomorrow.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Uniman It sure is a cruel way to joke cause I was feeling sad about it. I don't understand why they would go that far to joke. :/ Now, I've lost even more trust in people honestly. Guess I shouldn't let it bother me and keep trying to be more talkative like I have been.


Should be careful with everyone you encounter in life. Some people can be very charming, but have a motive behind their behaviour. They learn to mirror good peoples behaviour.

In addition, you can't change their behaviour. Only your reaction to their behaviour.

Just be you, whatever that is.



lily said:


> i went to bed yesterday and then felt better, it was only for a little while. Thanks!


Ok. You're welcome.


----------



## SparklingWater

Curious. Thoughtful. Contemplative. Interested in how this will work out.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I'm so happy, 'cause today I found my friends 
They're in my head


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

The new spring atmosphere is starting to make me feel even more depressed than ****ing winter.


----------



## SparklingWater

Surprised and relieved. Hopeful.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Uniman I guess so. People at work are making me more suspicious now. Its like ever since I've become more talkative there people want to make fun of me. Maybe they're trying to drag me down thinking its going to work. Idk. I also had someone that works there wanting me to cook something for her twice recently. And she kept telling me I'm doing this or that wrong. I kept explaining to her like 5 times about something. Then she wanted to complain cause I didn't do it right and I know how to do my job.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Uniman I guess so. People at work are making me more suspicious now. Its like ever since I've become more talkative there people want to make fun of me. Maybe they're trying to drag me down thinking its going to work. Idk.


Maybe wearing heart on sleeve, so seeing that are easy to take advantage of.

When it comes to business you don't show emotion (business face). Some people learn that the hard way. I have seen business owners go into this business face mode right in front of me.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I also had someone that works there wanting me to cook something for her twice recently. And she kept telling me I'm doing this or that wrong. I kept explaining to her like 5 times about something. Then she wanted to complain cause I didn't do it right and I know how to do my job.


Sounds controlling.

There is sometimes many ways to do the same task to achieve the same or different results. No one way is right.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> Maybe wearing heart on sleeve, so seeing that are easy to take advantage of.
> 
> When it comes to business you don't show emotion (business face). Some people learn that the hard way. I have seen business owners go into this business face mode right in front of me.
> 
> Sounds controlling.
> 
> There is sometimes many ways to do the same task to achieve the same or different results. No one way is right.


A lot of social people aren't sane and they're very hypocritical. If you don't talk, they tell you to talk more. Then, if you do try to talk more, they want to bully you. Makes no sense. Sounds like they have worse problems they need to fix than I do. Very messed up. People tell me there's not that many bad people in the world but it's pretty ****ed up to joke about my hours getting cut permanently. Sick people. SMH. I already get bullied where I live.

I'm not gonna let it bring me down, though. That's what they want from me. I'm just trying to survive.

She seems controlling then tries to act nice. But it's just an act at this point. I don't trust anyone anymore. I didn't really trust people before but I'm even less trusting of them now. I will have good things happen for me and no social person will stop that from happening.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> I'm so happy, 'cause today I found my friends
> They're in my head


 Me too.


----------



## RyanIsNerdy

Sick and tired. Literally. Unsure as to what to do with myself. Finally getting over the flu, hopefully. I wanted to go see a movie in the theatre, but I'm too miserable. I feel lonely, but also don't wanna be bothered. It's odd.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> A lot of social people aren't sane and they're very hypocritical.


Brain is wired differently. They are social (have the skills to socialize / know the rules), but antisocial at the same time where they can get haughty, abusive.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> If you don't talk, they tell you to talk more. Then, if you do try to talk more, they want to bully you. Makes no sense.


They usually can't assess your personality unless you talk.

Like if show you care, red flag to them that you are not like them.

I found out that caring about them makes them push a person away. It is because it is foreign to them, as their parents usually didn't care about them (at work or out socializing and they are left at home when younger).

Upbringing, genetics is where it comes from. It is handed down from generation to generation.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Sounds like they have worse problems they need to fix than I do. Very messed up. People tell me there's not that many bad people in the world but it's pretty ****ed up to joke about my hours getting cut permanently. Sick people. SMH. I already get bullied where I live.


They like to unload their problems onto you (project). Or make you feel emotions they can't to feel better. That is why you don't react to what they do (business face). Or keep your distance if you can (non interaction is best).

They usually project ẃhat they have been told by someone élse about themselves or seen somewhere (could be from TV news or internet or other).

There is usually some element of truth to what théy say to make it sound convincing, but just change it slightly to make it your problem instead of theirs.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm not gonna let it bring me down, though. That's what they want from me. I'm just trying to survive.


They might be trying to manipulate you to leave the business, as are not one of them.

Usually find out they hangout together, plot in groups.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> She seems controlling then tries to act nice. But it's just an act at this point. I don't trust anyone anymore. I didn't really trust people before but I'm even less trusting of them now. I will have good things happen for me and no social person will stop that from happening.


They will be nice or nasty to get their way. Whatever works for them. Just ignore them and do your own thing.

I think is just where you work. Not everyone or every business has motives like that.

Just have to take it one person at a time.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

CNikki said:


> I notice this happening to me as well. Could be a coincidence with some events going on, but it seems like around this time of the year (April being most memorable one year, not giving into much detail) is when I am at my lowest. I tend to have more lows than highs, but the lows are much more intense now.


Just the change in temps, light, atmosphere, reminds me of the summer I had with "her". The only damn time I've been happy. We had a record, 3 month or whatever it was heatwave last summer, and I spent 99% of indoors, suffering from depression. Could not go outside to see all the happy people and think about my summer with "her".


----------



## SplendidBob

Bit sad about H. I know she is also sad. 

Am avoiding a heavy conversation about it all though. A conversation isn't the way forwards. Emotive decisions aren't to be rationally debated over text. Will wait until this final essay is done (I don't want to misery myself for the ****ing 3rd time during essays, lesson learned), go and visit her. 

Keeping in the back of my mind another lesson learned. There is also the very slim possibility she knows I post here.


----------



## Crisigv

physically, quite uncomfortable


----------



## 3stacks

Terrible


----------



## tea111red

i don't know.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I wake up everyday feeling so beaten down, drained. How am I supposed to do anything when my own personality want's to destroy me and I absolutely cannot come to terms with losing someone, who I now realize I needed so much. I can't feel anything for anyone else and can't put on a mask and hide how god damn terrible I feel to be able to function. I seriously need help but where is it? Anti depressants with terrible side effects that just make me feel worse, and talking to someone for an hour every week or two? I need far more help than what's available!


----------



## Deaf Mute

I ****ing hate being alive, I hate myself so much **** me hard. Why do I have to exist? I can't escape and feel so much envy and jealousy and hatred. 

I can't believe life is just a bunch of ****ty predictable patterns all over again ffs, there's nothing special huh? Nothing odd or strange, it's all just predictable and boring. 

I hate myself.


----------



## SparklingWater

Amused with myself. My laziness this morning knows no bounds. Also annoyed it won't stop raining. Must deploy emergency anti-poof measures.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Stressed out.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> :hug
> 
> you can try to have a bubble bath w/ salts and do stretches.


Thank you for the suggestions. Very kind of you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando




----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

I just feel a mess. I haven't had any certainty or a proper job in my life for almost a year. I'm sick of living like this.


----------



## harrison

I'll probably be knackered later this morning but it's going to be hot so will still need to get moving. All that stimulation yesterday just gets me wound up - I can feel it in my head while I'm standing there talking to people. It's ****ing weird and I hate it. It's not anxiety it's mania.

My wife can hear it in my voice as soon as it starts. The other night I called her just after I was talking to my friend and she asked if I was okay.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Now I'm scared.

_ Spirito Bambito_


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I'm feeling very anxious tonight. 

Lonely, always.


----------



## 0589471

SamanthaStrange said:


> I'm feeling very anxious tonight.
> 
> Lonely, always.


:squeeze I made some fairy cookies tonight, reminded me of you


----------



## SamanthaStrange

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> :squeeze I made some fairy cookies tonight, reminded me of you


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel unusual. I should be sleep at this hour of the night. I use to be asleep around 10pm the latest. Any time after 11pm was consider late for me but since having a sudden change in my life in the last year and a half my sleeping schedule has slowly changed. In the last 5 months I been awake beyond 11pm. I sleep but not for long periods of hours. It is like my Spirit is keeping me awake for something. As if I am suppose to be up during the AM hours Eastern Time. Some nights I go to bed at my usual hour with me sleeping long. But then there are nights when I am up or I went to sleep but woke up briefly to post on SAS. I think my phone is a distraction. Then again if I remove my phone I would still be awake or happen to awaken out of my sleep with something on my mind.

_ I Am Yin_


----------



## SparklingWater

Long journally post


* *




Impatient, depressed, resigned. This space of no interest in talking/relats online, but not enough/tenuous engagement irl is killing me. Draining.

Went out on Saturday really enjoyed this women's group. Felt good, safe, accepted. Will be going back. Sunday was craving some in person interaction. Went to church cause I love gospel music since I'm a singer and was raised on it. Love the passion, harmonies, arrangement, etc. Went but the music was kinda dead. And of course I haven't believed in god in more than a decade so even though I meant to sit through the message politely that lasted all of 5 mins lol. I don't consider my sis a safe person for me atm so I couldn't reach out to her. Met a nice woman Saturday I might invite for coffee this week if I'm still feeling this pervasive loneliness and need for safe interaction by tomorrow.

I love how since I'm in freeze/survival mode far less my social engagement system has kicked in. But it's hard to create a fulfilling and safe life that can meet my needs right now while not overwhelming me. I'm a bit stir crazy atm. They have 2 job open houses on Tuesday afternoon near me. I see my therapist Tuesday morn so we'll def discuss where I'm at and if I can manage working rn without a quick burnout. If anything I'll still go to the open houses for info and to just sense how I feel in that environment atm. If anything I may take something part time if they have so maybe that'll help me tiptoe back in.

May be starting the study meds as soon as next week. And hopefully the interpersonal group as well. Feel I'm doing so much but so little lol.


----------



## tea111red

i wish something exciting would happen.


----------



## tea111red

having to tolerate that ahole for who the f knows how long now. i hate that ****er.


----------



## tea111red

i feel like crap now.


----------



## tea111red

this made me feel a little better....


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel lit and bright

_ I Am Yin_


----------



## harrison

Tired - glad I can have a rest day today.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I feel okay. Not necessarily good but not bad, either.


----------



## tea111red

huy78fyihu


----------



## Crisigv

like i don't matter to many people


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Like a burden. Maybe I should just get it over with and disappear. For good. Only close family would miss me.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Like a burden. Maybe I should just get it over with and disappear. For good. Only close family would miss me.


:squeeze You are not a burden. Please don't do anything to yourself.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Like a burden. Maybe I should just get it over with and disappear. For good. Only close family would miss me.


I'm sorry you feel this way mate. I wish there was something more I could do, believe me! :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> I'm sorry you feel this way mate. I wish there was something more I could do, believe me! :squeeze


:rub :high5



PurplePeopleEater said:


> :squeeze You are not a burden. Please don't do anything to yourself.


:hug :squeeze :high5

Thanks for being supportive guys.


----------



## SparklingWater

Um uncertain. Going to this job open house thingy. Don't know if I'm ready to start working again, but I'm going crazy at home. Basically against therapist's advice, but idk. Least I'm not in it alone and have pple to help me through it now. So let's see how it goes.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

Uncared for and ****ty.
The person i like treats me like ****, but hey, what's new.


----------



## harrison

Feeling pretty good today - had a decent night's sleep. But now I'm worried about my wife because she's having dizzy spells. That was my problem now she's having them.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> Feeling pretty good today - had a decent night's sleep. But now I'm worried about my wife because she's having dizzy spells. That was my problem now she's having them.


What do you think was causing yours?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@iAmCodeMonkey You're welcome.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> What do you think was causing yours?


I still don't really know. I wish I could find out - my friends want me to come and sell books again with them at the Book Market but it's pretty hard when I get all this dizziness. It's hard to even go through my boxes and get them organised - let alone set it all up at the market. It's very annoying.

Going to a neurologist in a couple of weeks though so maybe they can help.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> I still don't really know. I wish I could find out - my friends want me to come and sell books again with them at the Book Market but it's pretty hard when I get all this dizziness. It's hard to even go through my boxes and get them organised - let alone set it all up at the market. It's very annoying.
> 
> Going to a neurologist in a couple of weeks though so maybe they can help.


Let me know how it goes. I used to see a neurologist for my depression, helped a lot. He was kind of a cool guy, pretty open minded for a a scientist. Have you taken a blood test recently?


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> Let me know how it goes. I used to see a neurologist for my depression, helped a lot. He was kind of a cool guy, pretty open minded for a a scientist. Have you taken a blood test recently?


Yeah I just had a whole check done a while ago. I've never actually seen a neurologist before, must be one of the only type of medical people I haven't seen tbh.

Were they able to help you with the depression?


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> Yeah I just had a whole check done a while ago. I've never actually seen a neurologist before, must be one of the only type of medical people I haven't seen tbh.
> 
> Were they able to help you with the depression?


Yeah, it cured my depression which was really bad like proper clinical depression. It was slowly getting better anyway, the beginning was really bad so it might have gotten better on it's own but what they did def helped, I could feel the changes from it. We did rTMS (repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation), they pulse the left side of your brain to stimulate the neurons to move faster using a 2 inch magnet which electricity passes through. They say that depressed people have a slower left hemisphere so the idea behind it is to speed it up, it gave me a side effect of restlessness a couple of times because of the stimulation but apart from that it's free of side effects. I did it everyday for 20 mins for 8 weeks, the depression can come back so I will need a top up if it does. The success rate is really high, it's like 90%.
We tried an 8 week treatment for anxiety, the idea behind that was to slow down the right hemisphere but no luck, the success rate of that is very low. It's hard to treat anxiety because you have two pathways you experience it through, thoughts and emotions. They also work on schizophrenia and reckon there's a lot of potential there. Good thing is, it was free under healthcare but it can cost thousands of dollars in other countries. Crazy, it should be an easy thing for everyone to do if they need it.


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> Yeah, it cured my depression which was really bad like proper clinical depression. It was slowly getting better anyway, the beginning was really bad so it might have gotten better on it's own but what they did def helped, I could feel the changes from it. We did rTMS (repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation), they pulse the left side of your brain to stimulate the neurons to move faster using a 2 inch magnet which electricity passes through. They say that depressed people have a slower left hemisphere so the idea behind it is to speed it up, it gave me a side effect of restlessness a couple of times because of the stimulation but apart from that it's free of side effects. I did it everyday for 20 mins for 8 weeks, the depression can come back so I will need a top up if it does. The success rate is really high, it's like 90%.
> We tried an 8 week treatment for anxiety, the idea behind that was to slow down the right hemisphere but no luck, the success rate of that is very low. It's hard to treat anxiety because you have two pathways you experience it through, thoughts and emotions. They also work on schizophrenia and reckon there's a lot of potential there. Good thing is, it was free under healthcare but it can cost thousands of dollars in other countries. Crazy, it should be an easy thing for everyone to do if they need it.


That's interesting - I've heard of that but didn't know if it worked or not. They used to do that at one of the hospitals I used to go to ages ago. I could often hear the clicking noise from the room where they were doing it. I'm glad it helped you anyway.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm feeling alright. I just don't know what's wrong with me sometimes. But I'm getting better. Just taking it one day at a time.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Had a bad day.


----------



## dragonfruit

I feel angry, annoyed and put off. I signed up to college and disclosed that I have a medical condition. My medical condition is mildly physical. It doesn't effect my movements or day to day life. 

While sitting in class a woman who had joined our class two weeks ago called me out side to speak to me. To inform me that she is the learning support officer of the class and was recommended by someone from the disability sector of the college to attend the classes and she was there if I needed any help or support. 

I felt so angry and like I loss some dignity. I'm articulate and intelligent, I don't need support of any kind and I'm a diligent student. 

This is one of the reasons I rarely open up and say "Hey I have a medical condition." Because once you say you have a medical condition everyone treats you differently from condescending to going out of their way thinking they are "helping" you. It is frustrating. I only disclosed my medical condition because I enrolled saying I had a medical condition because my college fees would be free. Otherwise if I had the money I wouldn't have said anything.


----------



## SparklingWater

Tense. Under pressure. Shut down. Numb. Tired.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Had a bad day.


sorry to hear..


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Sometimes I have massive pangs of guilt over "her". I hate that a got angry at her and walked out, even though it was justified at the time. I just hate how I've never been able to discuss things, and hate how I've talked about it all on here so much, making it public on here. I know no one know's her, but I just wish I'd have kept it all in, but I couldn't, because I had no one else to talk to apart from my folks.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I'm sorry for all of you feeling bad. Too many to quote, sadly. :frown2::group


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Pete Beale said:


> Sometimes I have massive pangs of guilt over "her". I hate that a got angry at her and walked out, even though it was justified at the time. I just hate how I've never been able to discuss things, and hate how I've talked about it all on here so much, making it public on here. I know no one know's her, but I just wish I'd have kept it all in, but I couldn't, because I had no one else to talk to apart from my folks.


I know she read my posts on here, and I think if I hadn't posted anything, maybe she would have come back and tried to fix things. I think that in her mind I betrayed her, talking about her on here. What's done is done though. :serious:


----------



## copper

Caught some kind of nasty bug. Ran a fever since Sunday. Finally came down to normal this morning. Still feel weak from not eating much.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> sorry to hear..


Thank you Tea, your post is much appreciated. :hug



Pete Beale said:


> I'm sorry for all of you feeling bad. Too many to quote, sadly. :frown2::group


Thanks mate, much appreciated you taking the time to say that.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Uniman said:


> Thank you Tea, your post is much appreciated. :hug
> 
> Thanks mate, much appreciated you taking the time to say that.


Np mate. :squeeze


----------



## 8888

A bit anxious to see my doctor tomorrow. Just have to get a prescription renewed so shouldn't be anything bad, but am anxious anyway.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Np mate. :squeeze


----------



## SparklingWater

So very exhausted. Not looking forward to the zoom conference I have this evening. Want to take a nap. The Cohen testimony is not helping. 

Not looking forward to the dentist tomorrow morn either. Ugh.

Discouraged. Exactly what my therapist predicted re the job thing is what happened. I can do it, but I'll go into shutdown/dissociation. Really just not ready yet. Patience is not a resource I have in abundance, or at all, atm.

Also amused. Address a bad faith misdirection from a fanatic pedant online or not? Lol. Not.

Hypervigilant, tense and on edge- do not want to argue about this with her this afternoon.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Had a bad day.


Hope you have a better day today mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Hope you have a better day today mate.


Thank you for your kind words.

More productive day.



lily said:


> Would you like to talk about it? What's wrong?
> 
> I went out today and it went great but now that I'm home, I'm bored and alone.


I can't talk about it. But thank you for asking.

Sorry to hear about feeling alone. :hug


----------



## Crisigv

Glad that I updated my resume.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Who cares...


----------



## Flora20

Feel like I'm gonna get a cold :/ better get the chicken soup ready...


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Glad that I updated my resume.


Thinking you did a good job.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Who cares...


Mate. :sigh



Flora20 said:


> Feel like I'm gonna get a cold :/ better get the chicken soup ready...


:hug

Vitamin C. :yes


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Uniman said:


> Mate. :sigh


No problem. I know you are trying to help, but I have not been in the best mood in the past few days. Sorry I can't be more cheerful as of yet.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> No problem. I know you are trying to help, but I have not been in the best mood in the past few days. Sorry I can't be more cheerful as of yet.


I hope you feel better later on mate.


----------



## Fun Spirit

@iAmCodeMonkey :squeeze


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

Not that great. Lacking motivation and feeling distant from everyone and everything.

I feel as if there's no point in socializing anymore, that I will never fit in and people will always find some sort of fault in me to justify themselves from trying to connect.
whatever, I don't like to be alone but maybe I should focus on myself for the next few days, I just wish I had someone that respected me enough to treat me with human decency.
I'm starting to feel like I'll be forever alone, platonically and romantically, the latter being far less important than the first, man, I really want friends.


----------



## tea111red

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> No problem. I know you are trying to help, but I have not been in the best mood in the past few days. Sorry I can't be more cheerful as of yet.


it's ok to feel how you feel/not always feel cheerful. keep venting on here if it helps you. just being honest w/ yourself and expressing how you really feel is a step in the right direction. :rub


----------



## Citrine79

Having a migrane episode right now probably caused by my high stress level at the moment. So sick of my miserable job, it is such an unpleasant place to be right now. Also, so very sick of winter...it has been so bad here this year.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not bad. Got a ten cent raise. Was hoping for at least 20 cents but it'll do.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Uniman said:


> I hope you feel better later on mate.





Fun Spirit said:


> @*iAmCodeMonkey* :squeeze





tea111red said:


> it's ok to feel how you feel/not always feel cheerful. keep venting on here if it helps you. just being honest w/ yourself and expressing how you really feel is a step in the right direction. :rub


Thanks guys and gals.


----------



## Graeme1988

Well... ah wus feeling quite happy for a few days, there. Been quite productive, and I got over £3,000 pounds in backdated disability benefit payments, going back to 2013, paid into my bank account. Which was money I was entitled to, but did'nae think I'd actually get when I put in my claim for it. 

On the other hand one of my relatives has got cancer, which I'm hoping they'll beat. And another family member - an auntie I haven't seen since I was a wee lad is - as my mother phrased: _"...on her last legs"_


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Thanks guys and gals.


You're welcome mate.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Lonely


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lonely and disappointed, but what can you do.


----------



## harrison

Like I got hit by a truck.


----------



## komorikun

Slight headache. Bit out of it. Slept too much I guess. Had a bit too much champagne/edible last night. Took some ibuprofen and aspirin. Kind of cold since my electric blanket died. The controller smells like burnt plastic but nothing visibly wrong with it. Won't turn on.


----------



## Graeme1988

Wondering why I even bother....

So, fed-up with just having to tolerate my family’s dysfunctional drama. Cannae say anything, otherwise I’m the bad yin, even though my observation n’ point are valid. But then I’m a man who wus raised by a bunch o’ emotional unhinged wimmin, so my opinion or advice counts fur sweet eff all. It’s time like this ah wish ah wus’nae disabled so I could just pack ma bags n’ piss off elsewhere. 

And they wonder why I’d rather be alone at Christmas... but no, cannae dae that either cuz that would make me selfish [email protected]$turd. :bash


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> Like I got hit by a truck.


Why?


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> Why?


Exhausted after yesterday's mania, and probably the heat here as well. Makes it hard to sleep and I really need to sleep properly. It's been about 38 or so for the last couple of days - hot all weekend too, but will cool down Sunday night apparently.

Thanks God as someone I know used to say. 

Hope you're doing okay over there mate. Are you getting enough sleep?


----------



## harrison

Graeme1988 said:


> Wondering why I even bother....
> 
> So, fed-up with just having to tolerate my family's dysfunctional drama. Cannae say anything, otherwise I'm the bad yin, even though my observation n' point are valid. But then I'm a man who wus raised by a bunch o' emotional unhinged Wilmington, so my opinion or advice counts fur sweet eff all. It's time like this ah wish ah wus'nae disabled so I could just pack ma bags n' piss off elsewhere.
> 
> And they wonder why I'd rather be alone at Christmas... but no, cannae dae that either cuz that would make me selfish [email protected]$turd. :bash


Take that nice cheque you mentioned before and go to Bangkok.  (Or maybe one of the islands in Thailand.)


----------



## CNikki

I have one hell of a headache.


Didn't even need to take any substances to make it happen.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

This -


* *












Smiling, crying at the same time. Lucky people.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lonely





Pete Beale said:


> Lonely and disappointed, but what can you do.


I hope you feel better once distracted, or after some sleep.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, anxious, worried, glad to be on vacation from work


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Sad, anxious, worried, glad to be on vacation from work


:hug

I hope you have a good time off from work.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> Exhausted after yesterday's mania, and probably the heat here as well. Makes it hard to sleep and I really need to sleep properly. It's been about 38 or so for the last couple of days - hot all weekend too, but will cool down Sunday night apparently.
> 
> Thanks God as someone I know used to say.
> 
> Hope you're doing okay over there mate. Are you getting enough sleep?


Was that you love interest from Jakarta who used to say that?

I've been getting around 5-6 hours, could use more but it doesn't feel too bad. Yeah, the hot days make everything harder, they an be just as bad as the cold ones.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Jaded, pessimistic, cynical, etc


----------



## Crisigv

Uniman said:


> :hug
> 
> I hope you have a good time off from work.


It'll be what it'll be.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> It'll be what it'll be.


Ok.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired from hard yakka.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Thanks @Uniman

I feel a little better.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks @Uniman
> 
> I feel a little better.


You're welcome.

Good to hear.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

Annoyed, baffled, relieved.

The person that I was interested in, the one that's been treating me pretty... Negatively in a lot of aspects in recent weeks, stopped talking to me over one, deserved, snarky comment.

The person that expected me to take the hot and cold treatment, the fluctuation of effort in our socializing that eventually transitioned into them replying out of obligation and using me for a shoulder to cry on, gaslighting me when I brought up said treatment, and many more transgressions, couldn't take a single snarky comment, I would be upset... But I'm more annoyed and baffled that someone can be so devoid and egotistical.
I'm no saint and i sure made a range of mistakes, but they were something else.

Well, at least I'm out of that mess.
Back to the single life I suppose.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> Good to hear.


:yes


----------



## Kevin001

Meh.....need some space.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> :yes


:yes :yes


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> Was that you love interest from Jakarta who used to say that?
> 
> I've been getting around 5-6 hours, could use more but it doesn't feel too bad. Yeah, the hot days make everything harder, they an be just as bad as the cold ones.


Yeah, that was her. She could be very cute sometimes - big trouble though.

Yeah, I'm very sick of this heat. I don't think I'll ever complain about the cold again - until winter that is.


----------



## Graeme1988

harrison said:


> Take that nice cheque you mentioned before and go to Bangkok.  (Or maybe one of the islands in Thailand.)


I probably could... but I'd have to justify that decision. And my sisters would just give my mother grief for it.  _"Huh! How Graeme gets to do whatever tha f__k he wants?"_ Cuz I can rarely do anything without jealousy n' resent from my siblings.


----------



## Graeme1988

Every time I’m asked what’s wrong I feel paranoid, cuz last time I did say how am feelin’ my words got used against me. And ah wus’nae believed.  Apparently being disabled does’nae count as something to be depressed about?


----------



## harrison

Graeme1988 said:


> I probably could... but I'd have to justify that decision. And my sisters would just give my mother grief for it.  _"Huh! How Graeme gets to do whatever tha f__k he wants?"_ Cuz I can rarely do anything without jealousy n' resent from my siblings.


Jesus - that sounds like a terrible atmosphere to be living in. You need to get out of there and have some fun.

Just tell them you're popping down for a quick trip to London or something - then go to Heathrow.


----------



## Graeme1988

Ah wish my happiness wasn't something that I felt guilty about... like ah don't deserve to be that way. But then my family has a tendency to go in the huff if I say _"No"_ to them. They see no wrong in letting me down though.  I'm at a point now where, on the one hand, I rarely ask anything of them. Like asking for their help. But I'm also frustrated with how much is expected of me.


----------



## harrison

Bloody hot.

If it's going to be this hot you may as well be somewhere fun like Bali or Thailand, this is crap.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Bloody hot.
> 
> If it's going to be this hot you may as well be somewhere fun like Bali or Thailand, this is crap.


It was hot.

But noticed it is autumn now with leaves dropping.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> It was hot.
> 
> But noticed it is autumn now with leaves dropping.


I'll be glad when that happens here mate - this heat's really annoying. I probably should've stayed up at my wife's house in the aircon. God I'm a dickhead sometimes.


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> Tired from hard yakka.


 Yakka? That sounds like a drug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I'll be glad when that happens here mate - this heat's really annoying. I probably should've stayed up at my wife's house in the aircon. God I'm a dickhead sometimes.


Lucky to be inside mate. Had to do hard yakka in this heat. Got a bit burnt.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Yakka? That sounds like a drug


Look up Getting Fit with Arthur Dunger on Youtube and about 1:09+ onwards. :b

Good exercise for the old optical nerve.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Lucky to be inside mate. Had to do hard yakka in this heat. Got a bit burnt.


Oh that's no good mate - hope you're alright.


----------



## SparklingWater

Super poor lol.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Oh that's no good mate - hope you're alright.


I'm ok mate.

Mainly around the nose area.

Thank you for asking.


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> Look up Getting Fit with Arthur Dunger on Youtube and about 1:09+ onwards. :b
> 
> Good exercise for the old optical nerve.


:lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> :lol


I take it that you had a great workout session with the old optical nerve.  :lol


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> I take it that you had a great workout session with the old optical nerve.


Yes the optical nerve of course


----------



## Skeletra

Feel like everything is futile. Life isn’t going to get better. It’s all a steep downhill slide. Almost having a little bit of a panic attack


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Yes the optical nerve of course


:lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Skeletra said:


> Feel like everything is futile. Life isn't going to get better. It's all a steep downhill slide. Almost having a little bit of a panic attack


Aww. :hug


----------



## 8888

I'm feeling good but cold


----------



## 3stacks

Depressed


----------



## Musicfan

Skeletra said:


> Feel like everything is futile. Life isn't going to get better. It's all a steep downhill slide. Almost having a little bit of a panic attack





3stacks said:


> Depressed


Sorry to hear


----------



## 3stacks

Musicfan69 said:


> Sorry to hear


Thanks, hope you're doing well


----------



## firestar

Completely and utterly alone. 

My family has left me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

firestar said:


> Completely and utterly alone.
> 
> My family has left me.


Awww. :hug



lily said:


> I'm feeling bored right now. Hope everyone who's doing badly will feel better soon! including me!


Hope you feel better soon lily.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Thank you Uniman!


You're welcome.


----------



## Skeletra

Uniman said:


> Aww. :hug





Musicfan69 said:


> Sorry to hear


Thank you, both og you


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Skeletra said:


> Thank you, both og you


You're welcome.


----------



## Suchness

Been feeling sleepy all day.


----------



## rabidfoxes

I feel excellent. After a hellish day Zoloft is finally out of my system and I can live again.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, anxious.


----------



## SparklingWater

Affirmed, validated. Hmmm. Hopeful. Curious as to where this line of... whatever this is will lead.


----------



## zonebox

Rebellious and a little defiant, mixed in with a bit of exhaustion and annoyance, of course the typical dose of anxiety that always trickles in. There is a haze of confusion, and the desire for understanding, yet the realization that such an understanding is impossible to establish without letting go of rational thought, in which case it becomes delusion. 

Yay, I love placing a mass of emotions into a string of words that will never fully convey them  

I would love to break free from the human condition, and move on to something else, I feel so limited and trapped most of the time. 

Yet, I feel good compared to how I could be feeling. That is a gauge I always use, I know how bad things can be, the darkest of places my mind can be in, the horrors that lurk around every thought, the hopelessness of it all.. and I am not there, compared to such a place I am feeling good. I just wish I were feeling better than good.

Why do I even share such pointless thoughts? Eh, oh well. I'm feeling okay, I hope you people are feeling okay too, actually I hope you are feeling better than okay.. okay is kind of like purgatory.


----------



## Crisigv

feeling very worthless these days, like i'm right back where i started


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel trapped by virtually every aspect of my life.


----------



## SparklingWater

Oh god, cosign on the feeling trapped.


----------



## Deaf Mute

_(He's a phantom)

(Danny Phantom, Danny Phantom, Danny Phantom)_

:laugh::laugh::laugh:


----------



## coeur_brise

A sense of dread going to work and on a lighter note, like I say too much and by saying that stuff, I am ratchet as hell, but to be that ratchet, I need to pull someone's wig off first.


----------



## Fun Spirit

......


----------



## Flora20

So tired and lonely..


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Flora20

Sorry to hear. :hug


----------



## Suchness

It ain't no fun when it's 40 degrees and you ain't got no air con.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That Virgina Madsen was so beautiful in this movie -


* *












Sounds like she could really play that instrument too.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> feeling very worthless these days, like i'm right back where i started





SamanthaStrange said:


> I feel trapped by virtually every aspect of my life.





SparklingWater said:


> Oh god, cosign on the feeling trapped.





Flora20 said:


> So tired and lonely..


Feel all of this, and it's never ending.


----------



## 8888

I'm feeling okay.
:squeeze to those feeling down.


----------



## SparklingWater

* *




Contemplative. Tired of doing the right things, but things not feeling better enough to make up for the pain of it in the first place. It's a life of foot on the gas pedal and brake at the same time. Is it coming along? Yes. Will any good that eventually comes out be worth the suffering I've endured all these years? That's still to be seen.

I have less of a survival instinct at this point and more of a sense of love and awe towards myself that I'm still here going. A sense of deep compassion and respect for the strength I draw upon day in and day out. And even more than love, an immense curiosity of how someone like me can create a life worth living for herself at the end of the day. I'm still determined, still committed, but mostly just really ****ing curious how I'm gonna pull that off.

And I will pull it off. That's of no question to me. I'm a ****ing pit bull when it comes to me. If no one else protects me, I ****ing will. I deserve at least that commitment after what this life has handed me. And I do commit, over and over and over, every day to do what it takes to come through for myself at the end. Pulling rabbits out of ****ing hats over here lol. But I deserve it. I'm my own hero at the end of it all.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I want to die. Everything is falling apart for me.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

sad/drained. Which I guess serves me right, because the anger never lasts that long. But I feel like it's important in a way to reaffirm that I'm a lost cause unlike most others, and that nobody will ever really understand.

I probably feel other things too but it's like a cocktail of negative emotion since I just woke up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Everything is falling apart for me.


:sigh :hug


----------



## SparklingWater

Indecisive


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Sick of being stuck on the internet.


----------



## TryingMara

Anxious and sick. Also a bit sad that this site is so slow.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That the other bothering thread is going to show up who to avoid on here.


----------



## 3stacks

Sick. Usually when I withdraw from antidepressants it's not too bad but this time it's horrible. I'm dizzy as hell and keep throwing up plus more anxious and I've already been prescribed a newer antidepressant to try but they weren't very clear on how I switch from the old one to the new one.


----------



## Crisigv

On the fine line of okay, and super depressed. Night is coming though, so I know how later will be.


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> Sick. Usually when I withdraw from antidepressants it's not too bad but this time it's horrible. I'm dizzy as hell and keep throwing up plus more anxious and I've already been prescribed a newer antidepressant to try but they weren't very clear on how I switch from the old one to the new one.


Yuck - that's terrible. Which antidepressant are you withdrawing from? I was on and off Lexapro for quite a while and a couple of times when I stopped that it made me feel very sick, didn't have to throw up though.

Those bloody things are horrible - and all the GP's think they're wonderful. I used to think I'd like to make them try one for a while.


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Sick. Usually when I withdraw from antidepressants it's not too bad but this time it's horrible. I'm dizzy as hell and keep throwing up plus more anxious and I've already been prescribed a newer antidepressant to try but they weren't very clear on how I switch from the old one to the new one.
> 
> 
> 
> Yuck - that's terrible. Which antidepressant are you withdrawing from? I was on and off Lexapro for quite a while and a couple of times when I stopped that it made me feel very sick, didn't have to throw up though.
> 
> Those bloody things are horrible - and all the GP's think they're wonderful. I used to think I'd like to make them try one for a while.
Click to expand...

 Going off of Paroxetine (paxil) to switch to Vortioxetine. Seems the psychiatrists are really trying to push these Vortioxetine ones now because they're "newer". Usually I don't get bad side effects from stopping but I have this time so it's a bit crappy. They're good for my anxiety but for depression they don't do much. Haha yeah they might be more understanding then.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> :sigh :hug


Thanks. 

I can't occasionally drink to feel better cause my dad used to be an alcoholic so I think I'm more prone to feeling depressed on it. Last time I drank, I was thinking all crazy thoughts and felt like my heart rate increased. I felt like I needed to go to the hospital. I honestly didn't really care, though. Maybe I didn't but that's what it felt like.

Could've been a mixture of that and the alcohol being too strong. :/

Guess I'll just keep distracting myself from these thoughts.


----------



## CNikki

Could be worse. Deleted a post I made earlier (wasn't a reference towards anyone here, just to disclose) because I don't want to stoop down to some behaviors that are passive aggressive enough and stoop to how some other people tend to view interactions with others. Not that it makes a difference, but for my psyche since it's a bit fragile at this time I need to.


I'll get there...one of these lifetimes.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Okay-ish for now. Having a Starbucks energy drink and playing a video game.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks.
> 
> I can't occasionally drink to feel better cause my dad used to be an alcoholic so I think I'm more prone to feeling depressed on it. Last time I drank, I was thinking all crazy thoughts and felt like my heart rate increased. I felt like I needed to go to the hospital. I honestly didn't really care, though. Maybe I didn't but that's what it felt like.
> 
> Could've been a mixture of that and the alcohol being too strong. :/
> 
> Guess I'll just keep distracting myself from these thoughts.


You're welcome.

Awww. :hug

Play a Youtube video clip, a good way to distract. Or clean up room or other.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> Awww. :hug
> 
> Play a Youtube video clip, a good way to distract. Or clean up room or other.


Thanks. 

Yea, I've been cleaning and watching YouTube. Listening to music and such.


----------



## Flora20

Really depressed...


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks.
> 
> Yea, I've been cleaning and watching YouTube. Listening to music and such.


You're welcome.

Good to hear. Anything that keeps you from overthinking about bad thoughts.

Best way is to retrain your brain, but that is the next best thing if tired or don't have time to retrain the brain.

I noticed some people do that at work too, play music and work to music (when stocking shelves, etc).



Flora20 said:


> Really depressed...


:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Sick. Usually when I withdraw from antidepressants it's not too bad but this time it's horrible. I'm dizzy as hell and keep throwing up plus more anxious and I've already been prescribed a newer antidepressant to try but they weren't very clear on how I switch from the old one to the new one.


Sorry to hear mate.

Talk to a doctor or look at drug safety guidelines doctors follow (get them from government drug safety website or similar). Sometimes need to be a doctor to access them and even then they say to contact a doctor.

Normally you reduce dose gradually and then stop. But reducing dose can cause side effects to get worse.

Sometimes stopping is best to prevent further side effects.

But each drug is different, so need to do your reasearch, talk to a doctor.


----------



## Kevin001

Cold


----------



## SparklingWater

Blaaaaaah. And really ****ing annoyed.


----------



## Memories of Silence

I've been very tired all day. I was nearly asleep in the car.


----------



## 8888

Grumpy

Sent from my XT1526 using Tapatalk


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> Sorry to hear mate.
> 
> Talk to a doctor or look at drug safety guidelines doctors follow (get them from government drug safety website or similar). Sometimes need to be a doctor to access them and even then they say to contact a doctor.
> 
> Normally you reduce dose gradually and then stop. But reducing dose can cause side effects to get worse.
> 
> Sometimes stopping is best to prevent further side effects.
> 
> But each drug is different, so need to do your reasearch, talk to a doctor.


Yeah I've looked online and there seems to be a lot of conflicting information lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Yeah I've looked online and there seems to be a lot of conflicting information lol


Look here -

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/medicine-safety-indicators-for-safer-prescribing

Definitely talk to a doctor if you can, especially if have side effects like vomiting, etc.


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah I've looked online and there seems to be a lot of conflicting information lol
> 
> 
> 
> Look here -
> 
> https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/medicine-safety-indicators-for-safer-prescribing
> 
> Definitely talk to a doctor if you can, especially if have side effects like vomiting, etc.
Click to expand...

 thanks. I think I'll just go back to the doctor's if I can get an appointment


----------



## C137

Unrequited


----------



## harrison

There's something wrong with my ****ing head.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> There's something wrong with my ****ing head.


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> thanks. I think I'll just go back to the doctor's if I can get an appointment


You're welcome.

Make sure is a good doctor, as seen some bad ones out there which don't follow safety guidelines and give wrong drugs causing harm.


----------



## twistix

Feeling down & really unsettled


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Uniman I can't listen to music at work or anything so I just wait until I get home. 

But yea. Unfortunately, there's only so much you can do when you're lonely. It helps for awhile then it goes back to those thoughts. :/


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Oh.

That is true


----------



## novalax

def starting to get my game back after being severely depressed. just lined up 4 dates


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> Oh.
> 
> That is true


No one in real life likes me. I hate people. They're mean to me.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Like I could crack into a mealtdown. I had multiple nightmares last night. It must had been from the meat I ate. I had to return to it because my Mom said I look too thin out of concern. I been already small but at times she get concern about my weight. Then because of my anxiety during my 2nd workout at the gym my Mom recommend I should take something for my anxiety. Over the counter supplements. Throw in another situation I been feeling up and down about I feel like I'm being attack mentally, emotionally and physically. It seem that whatever Forces that are attacking me is attacking me through other areas because I am too spiritually strong to be attacked directly through my spirit. I been meditating, going meatless and feeling pretty good than I ever been. But now I been shaken. Too many major blows. I don't think I am taking care of myself as I thought I was it seem. Realizing this makes me want to crack.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> No one in real life likes me. I hate people. They're mean to me.


:hug

Probably the people you are hanging out with.

Sometimes find an area is full of people of a certain type / personality that don't gel with yours. Nothing to do with you or them.

Can find people like yourself, just have to continue to meet lots of people. Hard when have SA and fear people.

Maybe look for a local anxiety group?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

So bored of it all.


----------



## Euripides

My GF whom I love with every atom in my body and who has been my closest person and dearest best friend in any way imaginable has met someone else.

She had been talking to and meeting with this guy who she says makes her happy and feel gorgeous. She cheated on me with him.
Kept the charade up for another week. And then dumped me over text.

I'm the most profound alone in the world now, and my entire future has been ripped away. 
I've never felt truly at home anywhere my whole life, except when together with her.

I'm homeless, broke, hopeless, in despair, anguish, and tormenting pain.
And overflowing with love.

I have an engagement ring. I was going to propose next month.


----------



## harrison

Feel good - but I did this time yesterday then things went a little bit wrong. Slightly concerning.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Feel good - but I did this time yesterday then things went a little bit wrong. Slightly concerning.


Good to hear that you feel good mate. Hoping that it stays that way for you mate.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Good to hear that you feel good mate. Hoping that it stays that way for you mate.


Thanks mate - hope you're doing okay over there too. 

Yesterday was weird - I really don't understand how it can happen so quickly. Plus I'm almost back to taking my full dose of medication. It doesn't stop it at all. Became very manic and wanted to buy half the shop I was in.  (not good) Felt really out of it most of the day - very strange.

Calmed down a bit later though and I'm alright now. Had a decent sleep last night and talked about it with my wife.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - hope you're doing okay over there too.
> 
> Yesterday was weird - I really don't understand how it can happen so quickly. Plus I'm almost back to taking my full dose of medication. It doesn't stop it at all. Became very manic and wanted to buy half the shop I was in.  (not good) Felt really out of it most of the day - very strange.
> 
> Calmed down a bit later though and I'm alright now. Had a decent sleep last night and talked about it with my wife.


You're welcome.

I'm okay, thank you for asking mate. Not too hot or cold over here.

Sounds like stress or being tired triggered it. I find I'm more anxious when tired or stressed. If I breathe properly (fully in and out) or after exercise I feel better.

Might be a good idea to tell doctor to see what they say.


----------



## copper

Went to doctor Tuesday due to still not feeling well. Doc diagnosed a sinus infection. Prescribed antibiotics. Feeling a little better today. Also, ears were very plugged up with wax. The nurse was able to get them all clean. Now I am hearing better.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm miserable and lonely. But I deserve to feel this way. I'm reminded of that every day.


----------



## SparklingWater

Exhausted.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> I'm okay, thank you for asking mate. Not too hot or cold over here.
> 
> Sounds like stress or being tired triggered it. I find I'm more anxious when tired or stressed. If I breathe properly (fully in and out) or after exercise I feel better.
> 
> Might be a good idea to tell doctor to see what they say.


Yes stress and fatigue make me feel worse too mate. My wife reminded me that some of my thoughts are actually irrational - that concerns me tbh, because I think it's true. Her mind is much clearer than mine. My mental health is getting worse as I get older.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yes stress and fatigue make me feel worse too mate. My wife reminded me that some of my thoughts are actually irrational - that concerns me tbh, because I think it's true. Her mind is much clearer than mine. My mental health is getting worse as I get older.


Same here when gotten older mate, as start shaking when really stressed out.

It says something is not right and have to keep away from drama or angry people (people with aggressive attitudes).

It is why I avoid "the clique" on here as much as possible.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Same here when gotten older mate, as start shaking when really stressed out.
> 
> It says something is not right and have to keep away from drama or angry people (people with aggressive attitudes).
> *
> It is why I avoid "the clique" on here as much as possible.*


I saw you mention this before mate and I was actually thinking about it a while ago when I was getting my coffee. 

I don't know who you mean - but I do know there are quite a few angry people on here - they've allowed their experiences to get to them and make them bitter or just very cynical.

They aren't worth your time or your consideration.

You should always remember you're very well-liked on here. The support you provide to many of us here is amazing - I don't think you should under-estimate how much good you do on here.

Try not to let all this other stuff bother you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison

Just have to keep away from them.

I won't go into it fearing retribution which they seem to like to do.

I can have my bad days mate when dealing with people like that, but I just laugh it off. :b

What else can one do? :stu

Thank you for your kind words, advice mate.

I'll try to not let it bother me too much.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> @harrison
> 
> Just have to keep away from them.
> 
> I won't go into it fearing retribution which they seem to like to do.
> 
> I can have my bad days mate when dealing with people like that, but I just laugh it off. :b
> 
> What else can one do? :stu
> 
> Thank you for your kind words, advice mate.
> 
> I'll try to not let it bother me too much.


Don't worry mate - we can always just start our own Facebook group - leave them all behind.


----------



## 3stacks

lily said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Going off of Paroxetine (paxil) to switch to Vortioxetine. Seems the psychiatrists are really trying to push these Vortioxetine ones now because they're "newer". Usually I don't get bad side effects from stopping but I have this time so it's a bit crappy. They're good for my anxiety but for depression they don't do much. Haha yeah they might be more understanding then.
> 
> 
> 
> I'd say it's better to stick w/ the older ones as they're more known but when I tried Paxil a long time ago it made me gain a lot of weight and get anxiety in a short time on a trial and then withdrawing from it but i know it's different for everyone. Is it the best one for you? I can't believe they didn't write a prescription to know which dose you're supposed to be on in replacement to the Paxil.
Click to expand...

 oh paroxetine was making me feel worse so I guess the new one is a worth a try but yeah they haven't done great with the doses


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Uniman I'm sorry for sounding so negative atm. Things have just been crappy. 

I feel like there's a lot of similar people in this town. I don't know. 
@lily Thanks for the hug. Yea, that may be why. :/ Just going to keep myself busy and try to do better mentally. All I can do is try.


----------



## caelle

Lonesome


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Don't worry mate - we can always just start our own Facebook group - leave them all behind.


I was looking at other forums which seems safer. They have qualified health professionals as mods (it seems like the one in Australia which is run by the government does, but Australian citizens only).



PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Uniman I'm sorry for sounding so negative atm. Things have just been crappy.
> 
> I feel like there's a lot of similar people in this town. I don't know.


It is ok. We all have our bad days. :hug

People like us would rarely be out and about.


----------



## 8888

Forgotten


----------



## SparklingWater

Impatient. Man I need a fast forward button through the next, let's say, 6 months. Jumping out of my skin here. Jesus!


----------



## Crisigv

I'm not very happy at the moment.


----------



## SparklingWater

Restless


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Drained after listening to the new 4 hour Chris Watts interview.


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> Drained after listening to the new 4 hour Chris Watts interview.


Not being rude mate but why would you put yourself through that? I looked him up a week or so ago when you first mentioned him I think and it was very sad. But I definitely wouldn't spend too much time dwelling on all that.

It's just too depressing - won't it all just make you feel worse?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

harrison said:


> Not being rude mate but why would you put yourself through that? I looked him up a week or so ago when you first mentioned him I think and it was very sad. But I definitely wouldn't spend too much time dwelling on all that.
> 
> It's just too depressing - won't it all just make you feel worse?


I'd forgot about it until they said they were coming out with this new interview.

I've sorta been obsessed with people with personality disorders since it all went to **** with "her" though, tbh.

I've learned a lot, but wish I hadn't. I wish I was ignorant to it all. I now recognize how many people there are with cluster B PD's or traits, and how many people here and who I meet with SA, have narcissistic parents, siblings and partners.

I recognize these behaviours in my own family, my high school bully, and no end of other people I've met or heard about.

I wish I could just **** off into a paradise of ignorance with a load of money and ignore all this crap, but I feel like I'm too damaged by my own experiences with people similar to Chris Watts, and I'm probably going to meet more in the future. lol


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> I'd forgot about it until they said they were coming out with this new interview.
> 
> I've sorta been obsessed with people with personality disorders since it all went to **** with "her" though, tbh.
> 
> I've learned a lot, but wish I hadn't. I wish I was ignorant to it all. I now recognize how many people there are with cluster B PD's or traits, and how many people here and who I meet with SA, have narcissistic parents, siblings and partners.
> 
> I recognize these behaviours in my own family, my high school bully, and no end of other people I've met or heard about.
> 
> I wish I could just **** off into a paradise of ignorance with a load of money and ignore all this crap, but I feel like I'm too damaged by my own experiences with people similar to Chris Watts, and I'm probably going to meet more in the future. lol


So many horrible things happen in the world mate - I actually have a 24 hour News channel on in the background while I'm home if there's nothing else I want to watch. But I try not to dwell too much on the serious things that happen - there's only so much I can take. It affects me too much sometimes so I tune out - or often I just get a bit immune to it like the rest of us I guess.

I think the problem with what you're doing would be that you'd start to see "disorders" in everyone, when I'm not sure that's always the case? People are so complicated and there's often a lot of reasons why we do things. (again, I mean no offence)


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

harrison said:


> So many horrible things happen in the world mate - I actually have a 24 hour News channel on in the background while I'm home if there's nothing else I want to watch. But I try not to dwell too much on the serious things that happen - there's only so much I can take. It affects me too much sometimes so I tune out - or often I just get a bit immune to it like the rest of us I guess.
> 
> I think the problem with what you're doing would be that you'd start to see "disorders" in everyone, when I'm not sure that's always the case? People are so complicated and there's often a lot of reasons why we do things. (again, I mean no offence)


I don't see disorders in everyone mate and I'm able to look at how complicated and varied peoples lives are, and that there's all sorts of reasons why people become who they are and do what they do.

I don't really feel drained by Watts interview because it made me feel depressed. It was more because it was so damn long lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> I don't see disorders in everyone mate and I'm able to look at how complicated and varied peoples lives are, and that there's all sorts of reasons why people become who they are and do what they do.
> 
> I don't really feel drained by Watts interview because it made me feel depressed. It was more *because it was so damn long lol*


Yeah, 4 hours is a bit much.

I'd like to see that new doco about Michael Jackson - they'll probably air it here soon. It's just incredible the sort of stuff that went on at Neverland. We had a show on it recently but just a short one.

The other thing that's been big here recently is all this business about George Pell and the Catholic church. He used to work at the Vatican and was a Cardinal - now he's sitting in the remand centre in his little cell for 23 hours a day so the other prisoners don't attack him.

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy if you ask me.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel better than I was this morning. I wasn't quite up to going to the gym. It felt like my recent anxiety episode was lingering around briefly after it was over 2-3 days go. {I can't remenber} Kind of like the flu when even though the severe symptoms have passed you still feel that sick feeling throughout your body. 



At the gym I had to go really slow on the gym bike because after 4-6 normal speed petaling my thighs started to burn bad. {I have unused muscles. I'm unfit. Thin and small isn't fit} The last time I was able to petal normally but this time after only 4-6 petals I had to stop. I went slow this time. I'm surprise I sweated despite going slow. I was still feeling my anxiety. After 15 minutes {5 minute sets. Two 10 minute forward and one 5 minutes back petal. I gave in on my last 5 minute set} I switch over to the elliptical. My mind was still going. {Anxiety} Eventually my thoughts drifted away. It seem that the elliptical helps me to get my attention off my anxiety more than the bike and the treadmill. And it is better on my body. I like the whole flow of the elliptical. Overall I made it through another day at the gym. 


I don't know about this evening though. Recently I been feel scared and little disress while trying to sleep. Some sort of "nightly anxiety." A dreadful night. I don't know why. Nothing is there for me to feel scared. I think I will sleep with my closet light on tonight.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

harrison said:


> Yeah, 4 hours is a bit much.
> 
> I'd like to see that new doco about Michael Jackson - they'll probably air it here soon. It's just incredible the sort of stuff that went on at Neverland. We had a show on it recently but just a short one.
> 
> The other thing that's been big here recently is all this busines about George Pell and the Catholic church. He used to work at the Vatican and was a Cardinal - now he's sitting in the remand centre in his little cell for 23 hours a day so the other prisoners don't attack him.
> 
> Couldn't happen to a nicer guy if you ask me.


Second part of the new Jacko Doco has been aired tonight over here, but not watched the first yet. Mikes father was a horrible ******* so nothing surprises me with the way he turned out. Parents have a lot to answer for. Mikes father and the parents of the kids who left them with Mike. The parents of some of the girls who ended up with R Kelly have a lot to answer for too.

I've only heard a bit about Pell. Not looked into the case, but wasn't he the third most powerful catholic in the world at one point? Massive abuse of power.

I just cannot trust anyone who tells me they believe in the church, apart from SAS's Kevin. I reckon he's alright lol

There was a new Louis Theroux doco on last night about sexual assaults in US college campuses. The main guy in that exposed himself as a narcissist imo.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000327c/louis-theroux-the-night-in-question


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Tired.


No hard yakka for you today mate - better try and have a rest.


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> Second part of the new Jacko Doco has been aired tonight over here, but not watched the first yet. Mikes father was a horrible ******* so nothing surprises me with the way he turned out. Parents have a lot to answer for. Mikes father and the parents of the kids who left them with Mike. The parents of some of the girls who ended up with R Kelly have a lot to answer for too.
> 
> I've only heard a bit about Pell. Not looked into the case, but wasn't he the third most powerful catholic in the world at one point? Massive abuse of power.
> 
> I just cannot trust anyone who tells me they believe in the church, apart from SAS's Kevin. I reckon he's alright lol
> 
> There was a new Louis Theroux doco on last night about sexual assaults in US college campuses. The main guy in that exposed himself as a narcissist imo.
> 
> https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000327c/louis-theroux-the-night-in-question


Yeah, you're right mate - I heard about Jacko's father. And that's what I was thinking about the parents of the kids too - who the hell would let their son stay at that weirdo's place? Or anyone's place for that matter - we used to be very wary of where my son went for a sleepover.

Yeah, Pell was 3rd highest at the Vatican, a real creep. Apparently he was always a very arrogant and rude man - quite apart from all the sexual stuff with the boys. I despise those people and I try not to think too much about them. I'm also very glad I'm not the one deciding what should happen to them - they probably would be glad about that too I imagine.

I like that Louis Theroux guy - he's sort of a dorky character. Speaking of disorders I always get the impression he's probably on the spectrum, he never shows much emotion. But I'm probably wrong. 

I think I mentioned to you before - his father is a good writer, or he was. He wrote a great book called The Mosquito Coast and also The Great Railway Bazaar. He was a bit of a wanker but he could write.


----------



## Quietguy86

Like nobody gives a damn about my feelings or about my right to make decisions. Not my family, not my friends, not even the people in my group or really anywhere, everybody could care less about me. 

My sisters too worried about the family reputation and how I'll make them look to everyone else, my mom is a cold and emotionless (insert word here) absolutely self absorbed and unfeeling.

My dad wants me to put on a pretend smile and dismisses my feelings, my grandmother makes it all about her and starts crying and talking about how she's going to die and drinking, and guilt trips me or makes me feel like I'm causing problems when I express how I feel, I'm not allowed to show emotion on my face,I'm not allowed to talk out about how I feel, nothing, I'm suppose to just be quiet, look and act the way they want me to like some ARGH Borg. 

I'm So sick of them and of it, uncaring, emotionless vessels who have absolutely no concern for me, I do everything for them, I help them, I do their errands, I clean their house, I pick up groceries for them, I pay for their laundry, I pay rent, and I listen when other people have problems and I care but nobody wants me in their lives. I'm nothing, I don't matter and maybe everyone would be better off if I never existed.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

harrison said:


> Yeah, you're right mate - I heard about Jacko's father. And that's what I was thinking about the parents of the kids too - who the hell would let thir son stay at that weirdo's place? Or anyone's place for that matter - we used to be very wary of where my son went for a sleepover.
> 
> Yeah, Pell was 3rd highest at the Vatican, a real creep. Apparently he was always a very arrogant and rude man - quite apart from all the sexual stuff with the boys. I despise those people and I try not to think too much about them. I'm also very glad I'm not the one deciding what should happen to them - they probably would be glad about that too I imagine.
> 
> I like that Louis Theroux guy - he's sort of a dorky character. Speaking of disorders I always get the impression he's probably on the spectrum, he never shows much emotion. But I'm probably wrong.
> 
> I think I mentioned to you before - his father is a good writer, or he was. He wrote a great book called The Mosquito Coast and also The Great Railway Bazaar. He was a bit of a wanker but he could write.


Parents just using their kids for their own benefit. No one in their right mind let's their little boy or girl stay with a grown man.

Mate, all these people are mentally ill. Pell, Jacko's Father, R Kelly. They all display cluster B PD traits. It's like, there's no such thing as just a "bully, or an "arsehole", or someone who's "evil". I know people can bully, be arseholes, and commit evil acts out of desperation etc, but people who are true bullies, people who keep repeating antisocial behavior, true abusers and murders, rapists, they're all cluster B disordered.

I read a case not long back of a toddler who was abused terribly by her parents. She was so malnourished. Fast forward a few years later and she's been charged with sexually abusing a child herself.  Hurt people, hurt people.

I wonder what Jacko's father went through to make him abuse Mike. What about Pell? Probably the product of cluster B disordered parent(s). Same goes for R Kelly. Look at Chris Watt's parents. Father lacks emotion and his Mother Cindy is an obvious narcissist. I wouldn't be surprised if Jacko was sexually abused himself, and Pell.

I used to think that about Theroux, but as he's aged he comes across more normal to me. Get your hands on that doco and see what you think. I think the way he was in the past was more of a gimmick to sell himself tbh.

Lol I thought it was his uncle that was the well respected writer.


----------



## harrison

Pete Beale said:


> Lol I thought it was his uncle that was the well respected writer.


Nah, it's his Dad. This is him - Paul Theroux. Good writer, although he wrote his fair share of crap too. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Theroux

He lived for a fair while in the Uk but lives in Hawaii and the US again now apparently.

They made Mosquito Coast into a movie a long time ago - with a young Harrison Ford and a spunky Helen Mirren. 

I should check that book out again, I've forgotten most of it.


----------



## CNikki

Numb. I need this week to be over.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Euripides said:


> My GF whom I love with every atom in my body and who has been my closest person and dearest best friend in any way imaginable has met someone else.
> 
> She had been talking to and meeting with this guy who she says makes her happy and feel gorgeous. She cheated on me with him.
> Kept the charade up for another week. And then dumped me over text.
> 
> I'm the most profound alone in the world now, and my entire future has been ripped away.
> I've never felt truly at home anywhere my whole life, except when together with her.
> 
> I'm homeless, broke, hopeless, in despair, anguish, and tormenting pain.
> And overflowing with love.
> 
> I have an engagement ring. I was going to propose next month.


I am sorry.  :rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> No hard yakka for you today mate - better try and have a rest.


I did (great minds like we both have think the same). 

Thank you for the advice mate, much appreciated


----------



## Graeme1988

The responsibility of caring for my mother always falls to me. And yet, all she does is snap at me anytime I attempt to motivate her to take care of her. Oh, am always _"nagging"_. Getting f__kin' sick o' it! :bash Ah cannae seem to do anything right - don't know why ah even bother anymore.


----------



## Barakiel

Like an idiot. I’ll feel a little better once I take some adderall.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel good today: ) I don't want to jinx myself but I had no anxiety feeling so far. I even had a nice little work out at the gym. I didn't get on the elliptical but I did do one 10 minutes forward pedal on the gym bike straight instead of 5 minutes at a time. My thighs weren't burning after a few pedals as they did the other day. It felt good being able to contuine on. I think those vitamins are working. They are nasty to take and they stank but they are working.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

I need to get used to not talking to anyone again, that discord server I was in was my only socialization most days.

I just had to leave the server, I wasn't going to stick around dealing with the awkwardness of being in a server with someone that treated me, and now I'm sure many others, like **** in private messages.
They made that server uncomfortable for me.
But in turn, I feel a lot more stable not having toxicity in my life, so that's good.

Overall I would say I'm lonely but good.


----------



## rabidfoxes

I feel like drinking some whisky and smashing some plates, but instead I'm going to trim my toenails and cook up a roast. We don't have many plates.


----------



## blue2

rabidfoxes said:


> I feel like drinking some whisky and smashing some plates


...I feel like drinking some whiskey with an e & not smashing plates, maybe I'm doing it wrong : (


----------



## rabidfoxes

blue2 said:


> ...I feel like drinking some whiskey with an e & not smashing plates, maybe I'm doing it wrong : (


Whisk(e)y is versatile (orthographically and otherwise) and you are totally fine!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Depressed. This year has been ****ty already. Especially since February. I have not been good for like the past three weeks. Some days I want to just eat my feelings but know that's not a good idea. I'm never going to tell myself that things are getting better for me again because everytime they do, something ****ty always goes and ruins it. 

Better to be safe than sorry. Although, I'm already sorry...a sorry mess.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

:hug

Something to distract you -


* *


----------



## Maslow

I just replaced the alternator in my Accord, so that's an accomplishment. I'm going to reward myself by getting drunk. :boogie


----------



## CNikki

It's been a roller coaster for me these past few weeks as well... Can't pinpoint it to one thing really, but if I have regrets over things that I thought would be good then I guess that says something about the consistent impairment of judgement on my end. This is as good as it gets and I need to fully accept that.


----------



## SparklingWater

Hopeful, but a bit anxious.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> :hug
> 
> Something to distract you -
> 
> 
> * *


Thanks. It helps a little.

Still feel kinda crappy, though. :/ Only thing I have to look forward to is food. My job doesn't seem to want me there anymore. I've noticed they have new stuff out in my department sometimes but never work me on those days hardly ever anymore. Also, found out the guy that picked me up was in the store and he just said excuse me to me. He was on the phone and acted like I never existed to him. I was trying to walk past him. I felt awkward and put my head down as I was walking. I think he was picking on me, too. :crying: I've been crying more recently. I just don't know what will help as of right now. Things have just been faltering. I'm an idiot.

I'm sorry. I just needed to let it out.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks. It helps a little.
> 
> Still feel kinda crappy, though. :/ Only thing I have to look forward to is food. My job doesn't seem to want me there anymore. I've noticed they have new stuff out in my department sometimes but never work me on those days hardly ever anymore. Also, found out the guy that picked me up was in the store and he just said excuse me to me. He was on the phone and acted like I never existed to him. I was trying to walk past him. I felt awkward and put my head down as I was walking. I think he was picking on me, too. :crying: I've been crying more recently. I just don't know what will help as of right now. Things have just been faltering. I'm an idiot.
> 
> I'm sorry. I just needed to let it out.


You're welcome.

It is ok, vent as much as you feel you have to. :hug

People that are busy on the phone say excuse me (being polite) then talk to person on the phone. It is common with business type of people, so wouldn't think anything of it these days. Just respect and keep distance and go back after they are finished.

But I know what you are saying, can be upsetting ẃhen that happens if not used to that type of behaviour.

I would have just smiled at them, walked on by the second time. Both busy, doing your own thing. But that is me and you might have your own way.

You are human, just sometimes things build up and need to vent. Some go out in the country and scream. Then jump up and down to really get it out. Or just enjoy the quiet. Some meditate. Some hang out with animals that give unconditional love and don't judge.

I'm thinking need to watch some positive stuff on Youtube. Get out of that negative thinking. Maybe hang out with some animals as well. They are only suggestions, can ignore if want to.


----------



## harrison

My head hurts. Something must have uspet me back at my wife's house yesterday and it gradually got worse on the train going home. Until all I could think about was getting back to my apartment. I suppose it's a depressive episode after the slight mania the other day. It feels a bit like your mind is actually shutting down - like you just need to try and get through it and do as little as possible while it's there. It's like your head is in a vice. 

You can't will yourself out of it and it's almost a physical thing. I'm not sure if that's worse or the mania.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison

Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Terrible. I had a nervous breakdown at work today and had to go home early. I think I'm done with that job for real this time.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> @harrison
> 
> Sorry to hear mate.


Thanks mate - and thanks for the bloopers before, they were good.

My wife says I should see a doctor but I saw one young guy yesterday. Not about that though as it hadn't started yet. What's disturbing is how quickly it just comes on, hopefully it won't last too long.

It's a long weekend here and I was going to try and do something with my wife - she'll be bored. But I can't do much when I'm like this.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - and thanks for the bloopers before, they were good.
> 
> My wife says I should see a doctor but I saw one young guy yesterday. Not about that though as it hadn't started yet. What's disturbing is how quickly it just comes on, hopefully it won't last too long.
> 
> It's a long weekend here and I was going to try and do something with my wife - she'll be bored. But I can't do much when I'm like this.


You're welcome mate.

Something to take mind off things, have a laugh.

:sigh wish it would go away.


----------



## Flora20

Really exhausted, think I need more sleep...


----------



## twistix

Lonely


----------



## 3stacks

^ same


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

^^same same


----------



## Crisigv

exhausted, time for coffee


----------



## tea111red

i'm going to have some coffee, too.


----------



## tea111red

lily said:


> i just had organic unsweetened soy milk boiled and put dark cocoa powder in the cup and added a little honey. Mmm..


sounds good


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> It is ok, vent as much as you feel you have to. :hug
> 
> People that are busy on the phone say excuse me (being polite) then talk to person on the phone. It is common with business type of people, so wouldn't think anything of it these days. Just respect and keep distance and go back after they are finished.
> 
> But I know what you are saying, can be upsetting ẃhen that happens if not used to that type of behaviour.
> 
> I would have just smiled at them, walked on by the second time. Both busy, doing your own thing. But that is me and you might have your own way.
> 
> You are human, just sometimes things build up and need to vent. Some go out in the country and scream. Then jump up and down to really get it out. Or just enjoy the quiet. Some meditate. Some hang out with animals that give unconditional love and don't judge.
> 
> I'm thinking need to watch some positive stuff on Youtube. Get out of that negative thinking. Maybe hang out with some animals as well. They are only suggestions, can ignore if want to.


Just thought it was odd seeing as he never came back up to me after he was done on the phone. I think he didn't like me in the first place. He probably just wanted to do a good deed by picking me up is all, which sucks. And it hurts really, really bad.

I'd love to go out in the country and scream with no people around but unfortunately can't do that. It's just better to let my anger out in music and stuff. I feel better now. Got some Walmart shopping done earlier and get to have the house to myself until Sunday. I so needed this.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mega-tired. Will be in bed soon.


----------



## tea111red

old and ugly.


----------



## SparklingWater

Annoyed and disappointed about 1 thing. Happy and relieved about another. Dreading something else lol.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

tea111red said:


> old and ugly.


 I have never seen you but in my imagination, you are about 30 and attractive and wearing red.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Just thought it was odd seeing as he never came back up to me after he was done on the phone. I think he didn't like me in the first place. He probably just wanted to do a good deed by picking me up is all, which sucks. And it hurts really, really bad.
> 
> I'd love to go out in the country and scream with no people around but unfortunately can't do that. It's just better to let my anger out in music and stuff. I feel better now. Got some Walmart shopping done earlier and get to have the house to myself until Sunday. I so needed this.


Many reasons why. Maybe was in a hurry to get somewhere?

Good to hear that you feel better now and have a good amount of quiet time to relax.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> old and ugly.


I don't believe that miss speaker.


----------



## tea111red

WillYouStopDave said:


> I have never seen you but in my imagination, you are about 30 and attractive and wearing red.





Uniman said:


> I don't believe that miss speaker.


just seeing the signs of aging on myself is depressing.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

tea111red said:


> just seeing the signs of aging on myself is depressing.


 Well, you can count yourself as one of the lucky ones if you're only seeing the signs of aging instead of feeling them. I feel like I'm at least 30 years older than I am. I could deal with looking like an old man if I didn't feel like death warmed over.


----------



## tea111red

WillYouStopDave said:


> Well, you can count yourself as one of the lucky ones if you're only seeing the signs of aging instead of feeling them. I feel like I'm at least 30 years older than I am. I could deal with looking like an old man if I didn't feel like death warmed over.


yeah, i guess, but looks and youthfulness are still a big part of a woman's value.


----------



## tea111red

haven't had anyone regularly show interest me in over a year. that's probably adding to how i feel. i don't feel all that desirable.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> just seeing the signs of aging on myself is depressing.


Lighting makes a difference. Natural light during the day, not a light above you in a room.

We all go through that aging thing. Some get botox to get rid of wrinkles over 30. In addition, face peals (supposedly can only do it once, but get baby like skin and have to keep out of the sun).



tea111red said:


> haven't had anyone regularly show interest me in over a year. that's probably adding to how i feel. i don't feel all that desirable.


:sigh :hug


----------



## Crisigv

I'm feeling a bit depressed. I need to find something to do. There's a box in my closet I wanted to go through, to make room for a drawer unit that I want from Ikea. I should do that.


----------



## SparklingWater

Bit sad and depressed. I feel the relat b/t my sis and I drifting apart, but have no clue how to fix it besides to lie and be fake again. Will discuss in therapy next time how to say what I want in a way she can understand.


----------



## tea111red

still fug.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> Many reasons why. Maybe was in a hurry to get somewhere?
> 
> Good to hear that you feel better now and have a good amount of quiet time to relax.


Meh, I doubt it. He was still sitting in the cafe for a few minutes after getting off the phone. :/ I thought that would be time enough to at least say how are you or sorry about that or something. Idk. I'm just going to forget about it. Probably overthinking it too much.

Yea, it definitely is.  I need to do my shopping at Walmart from now on. Haha. Those cheap prices add up the more you buy.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Like a broken record.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Meh, I doubt it. He was still sitting in the cafe for a few minutes after getting off the phone. :/ I thought that would be time enough to at least say how are you or sorry about that or something. Idk. I'm just going to forget about it. Probably overthinking it too much.
> 
> Yea, it definitely is.  I need to do my shopping at Walmart from now on. Haha. Those cheap prices add up the more you buy.


Probably. Human's are complicated creatures.

But quality? :sus :stu

Quality, cheap usually don't go together.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> Probably. Human's are complicated creatures.
> 
> But quality? :sus :stu
> 
> Quality, cheap usually don't go together.


Idk. Every now and then there's pre-made meals that taste homemade. I don't make hardly any money so have to conserve it and stretch it out. Can't buy expensive stuff.


----------



## Euripides

Maybe I can't compete with "normal". 
Maybe I should take the 11 years loss on the chin, and fold my cards.

Maybe I'm too bloody old for this ****.



(But I'm a stubborn **** with a high threshold for excruciating self-punishment and a donkey's worth of predilection for monogamous rocks to knock skull with, and I probably will grind myself deeper into the dirt anyway.)


----------



## Crisigv

Sad


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Idk. Every now and then there's pre-made meals that taste homemade. I don't make hardly any money so have to conserve it and stretch it out. Can't buy expensive stuff.


I have those pre-made meals too sometimes. Cheapish and saves time in kitchen.

Can understand that, as we all go through that.

More you earn, just more expensive everything becomes to own and run (lifestyle matches income). Like for example a normal car may cost 500 or slightly more or less to service fully. More expensive Supercar 2000 more or less to service fully.

So essentially all those ēxpensive toys a person sees out there are expensive to run. All fun until something breaks and lumped with a big bill to repair them.

It is why I like cheaper, custom things that can achieve great things.

In addition, why I like this movie where a man from the streets stands up for his mates against a uni student -


* *












I have seen people with PHD's act like that uni student.



Crisigv said:


> Sad


:hug


----------



## Graeme1988

Wondering why tha f__k the responsibility of caring for my mother always falls to me.
And yet am feckin' yelled at everytime ah try to help her.  I've had enough o' being treat like $h!%*. And being made to just accept a half-arsed, self pitying apology. _Naw, no this time ! Am f__kin' done._


----------



## Chris S W

Sad, trapped, hopeless.


----------



## SparklingWater

Small, scared, vulnerable


----------



## firestar

Unloved


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I'm sorry you feel so bad guys. I wish there was something I could do to save us all from this ****. :frown2:


----------



## 8888

Disappointed, my date got rescheduled.


----------



## Flora20

I'm feeling okay, becoming more content with life lately..


----------



## SparklingWater

Feel sad, had disappointing news. Surprised at the surge of emotion since I'd already felt kind of emotionally distanced and over it, but final confirmation still feels like a bit of an ending.

Also, a twinge of annoyance since I stated repeatedly I had concerns that this would be an issue and was assured it wouldn't be. And yet here it is, being an issue lol. Oh well, such is life.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Uniman Cheaper is usually better. It's just like finding good music. You just have to really dig for it to find the good cheap, stuff. I've found really good quality stuff that's cheap. 

My dollar store has quality stuff and if rich people want to judge me for that, I obviously don't care. I don't like rich, snobby people. I had the unfortunate luck of going to a school chock full of them. They were very annoying and judged you for every little thing. Even some of the people that weren't snobby hung out with the snobs. Some of them kinda turned into snobs themselves. I was the loner in a school of snobs. HS was miserable. But it's almost a decade in the past.


----------



## CNikki

Tired, still a little irritable, yet a bit of relief and content (not sure if that's the right word.) Still some crying spells in between but I know the reason. I get it, I need help.


----------



## Yer Blues

Better. Figured out chasing a relationship is not a good idea with my mental health issues.


----------



## Graeme1988

For f__k sake !! :bash

So, my older sister ordered this play pit thing for her kids off Amazon, fails to tell my mother and I that it's being delivered to ours and instead of her house, this is all this past Friday, there. She comes round, see it n' say: _"Aw f__k... that's really too big! Wus'nae expecting it be that size from the photo"_. Long story short, I get f__kin' coaxed into sorting out the return.... cuz my sister is too stupid to figure it out herself.

What a carry on that wus. Trying to explain that, because the size o' this play pit is 90 x 50 x 50cm, it's unlike the local post office would except it, so collection would need to be arranged with whoever delivered. So I'm in the middle of arranging it. My sister's there in my room, hoovering over me like a f__kin' Apache helicopter, as I scroll down the computer screen. I get to the courier that delivered it n' tell her how much the return gonna be, and she goes mental !

_"Eh! That's mair than ah f__kin' paid fur it! F__k that ! How come it's that much?! Aw, f__k, whit um ah gonnae do?!"_ :teeth Though, thankfully, blame wus'nae place on me, cuz ah wus not too happy having went through aw that, just to be telt not to bother with the return.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Uniman Cheaper is usually better. It's just like finding good music. You just have to really dig for it to find the good cheap, stuff. I've found really good quality stuff that's cheap.
> 
> My dollar store has quality stuff and if rich people want to judge me for that, I obviously don't care. I don't like rich, snobby people. I had the unfortunate luck of going to a school chock full of them. They were very annoying and judged you for every little thing. Even some of the people that weren't snobby hung out with the snobs. Some of them kinda turned into snobs themselves. I was the loner in a school of snobs. HS was miserable. But it's almost a decade in the past.


You can find stuff like that (depending on what it is), just cheap can mean incorrect machining, low quality metal in some cases.

Depends on what you mean by rich as above 50 million is rich these days. I went to school with a rich kid. But the one I knew was always nice, kind to everyone. Parents made them work for most things. No silver spoon in hand.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> You can find stuff like that (depending on what it is), just cheap can mean incorrect machining, low quality metal in some cases.
> 
> Depends on what you mean by rich as above 50 million is rich these days. I went to school with a rich kid. But the one I knew was always nice, kind to everyone. Parents made them work for most things. No silver spoon in hand.


I like this one meal you can get from Walmart called Fit Menu. The one I got was smoky BBQ with Parmesan mac n cheese. At least I think it was Parmesan. It tasted just like homemade food. I bought a couple more of them. And I tried some of these bacon and cheddar potatoes by some brand called Mr. Dees or something from my local grocery store. Surprisingly, they were the best potatoes I ever had. :O I'm hooked on them but don't want to eat them a lot.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

BleedingHearts said:


> lot of pain in my lower back. messed it up yesterday shoveling chunks of ice off the driveway and I'm really feeling it today


Sorry to hear mate.

When had a injury like that playing basketball, sitting flat on back helped with reducing the pain.

In addition, bending knees when lifting can help to reduce strain on that area. Just something we all learn from trial, error.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I like this one meal you can get from Walmart called Fit Menu. The one I got was smoky BBQ with Parmesan mac n cheese. At least I think it was Parmesan. It tasted just like homemade food. I bought a couple more of them. And I tried some of these bacon and cheddar potatoes by some brand called Mr. Dees or something from my local grocery store. Surprisingly, they were the best potatoes I ever had. :O I'm hooked on them but don't want to eat them a lot.


Oh, so talking about food. I agree with that, as can find cheaper dinner meals that taste good. Interesting selection you have there. We have Watties down here and McCain.

Be careful of the meat as they can put hormones, etc in them (animal that it comes from).


----------



## harrison

Bit tired - feel like I need a day at home. Had a busy long weekend.

Will try to go up to the house tomorrow after the doctor.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Anxious and lonely. Not much else to report on today lol



CNikki said:


> Tired, still a little irritable, yet a bit of relief and content (not sure if that's the right word.) Still some crying spells in between but I know the reason. I get it, I need help.


I hope you get the help you need sweetheart.  :hug :squeeze



Yer Blues said:


> Better. Figured out chasing a relationship is not a good idea with my mental health issues.


I hope you find happiness someday. :rub



Flora20 said:


> I'm feeling okay, becoming more content with life lately..


Good! 



8888 said:


> Disappointed, my date got rescheduled.


I hope they make it up to you. :hug



Pete Beale said:


> I'm sorry you feel so bad guys. I wish there was something I could do to save us all from this ****. :frown2:


 What he said. :high5


----------



## 8888

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Anxious and lonely. Not much else to report on today lol
> 
> I hope you get the help you need sweetheart.  :hug :squeeze
> 
> I hope you find happiness someday. :rub
> 
> Good!
> 
> I hope they make it up to you. :hug
> 
> What he said. :high5


Thank you!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Bit tired - feel like I need a day at home. Had a busy long weekend.
> 
> Will try to go up to the house tomorrow after the doctor.


Some lullabies to help put to sleep if need to sleep -


* *












Sweet dreams young man. :sus  :grin2:


----------



## CNikki

@iAmCodeMonkey , thank you. I've been wanting to for some weeks but haven't had the time and just forget about it when the weekend rolls around. Plus with the way I've 'sought help' in the past wasn't optimal, so I think that is also making it hinder for me to try it again.

Hope you can find ways to make it less lonely and anxious for you. Easier said than done, I know. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> @iAmCodeMonkey , thank you. I've been wanting to for some weeks but haven't had the time and just forget about it when the weekend rolls around. Plus with the way I've 'sought help' in the past wasn't optimal, so I think that is also making it hinder for me to try it again.
> 
> Hope you can find ways to make it less lonely and anxious for you. Easier said than done, I know. :hug


Thank you. I hope so too.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That I think he has a new gf -


* *












He just wants love and affection. :O

Not happy at 1:57+. :O


----------



## tea111red

^guess he finally gave up on women.


----------



## SplendidBob

Ooh, am jealous.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> ^guess he finally gave up on women.


He is married, just that is their pet.

Found out the Cougar is a he and can see his wife -


* *












But comments said Cougar is a she. :stu



SplendidBob said:


> Ooh, am jealous.


A 8 minute love session by pet. :O :b


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> A 8 minute love session by pet. /forum/images/SAS_2015/smilies/tango_face_surprise.png


 without watching the video that sounds like bestiality


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> without watching the video that sounds like bestiality


Ah, Nope. Just lots of licking and thinking it is lunch time (joking). :lol

But seriously it is just a cat showing love for owner.


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> without watching the video that sounds like bestiality
> 
> 
> 
> Ah, Nope. Just lots of licking and thinking it is lunch time (joking).
> 
> But seriously it is just a cat showing love for owner.
Click to expand...

 aw yeah it's cute


----------



## Crisigv

my legs are restless


----------



## PandaBearx

_Very _ anxious, I have a phone interview tomorrow.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> aw yeah it's cute


:yes



Crisigv said:


> my legs are restless


:hug



PandaBearx said:


> _Very _ anxious, I have a phone interview tomorrow.


I'm hoping you can knock it out of the park. Panda hits a home run and the crowd goes wild.


----------



## tea111red

his woman...... i wonder if he ate her later.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Awww. :mushy


----------



## PandaBearx

Uniman said:


> :yes
> 
> :hug
> 
> I'm hoping you can knock it out of the park. Panda hits a home run and the crowd goes wild.


:lol I certainly hope it goes that well! Thank you for the supportive words.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PandaBearx said:


> :lol I certainly hope it goes that well! Thank you for the supportive words.


You're welcome.

Cross fingers, toes, teeth that it goes well.


----------



## Alyosha Clarke

Crisigv said:


> my legs are restless


Same here. Ever since my dad passed and chaos ensued to what I found out... Ive had leg numbness and leg spasms in bed. I assume it's due to stress. But it scary when you psychically are affected.

I just want you to know from the bottom of my heart (I'll probably be erased by tomorrow). That you are not worthless at all. Not at ****ing all.

Be easy on yourself. Please. Don't feel obligated to respond. Wanted to let you know people do worry, think, and care about you. A lot. And I'm not just saying this. If you lived near me I'd love to be your friend.

J


----------



## Flora20

Sad, have nobody in the world who cares..


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Flora20 said:


> Sad, have nobody in the world who cares..


:sigh :hug


----------



## SparklingWater

Curious, excited, nervous and ambivalent (in that idk if they matter or not) towards some results I'm getting back tomorrow. Hopeful it gives me some info besides what I'm already very well aware of.

Also, super antsy to get an opportunity to see if something made a difference or not. No pressure lol, but yes lots of pressure. Definitely not setting myself up to fail at all lmao.


----------



## harrison

Migraine starting behind my eyes - I can feel it. I was wondering when I'd get another one as I haven't had one for ages. Got plenty of my pills though for that. Got to go to the neurologist this morning so slightly anxious about that. Not really nervous about the doctor I think it's just doing something out of my ordinary routine which throws me off a bit.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feel both good but kinda sad at the same time. I feel good cause I had a good day and talked to one of my coworkers for 5 minutes. My hours have gone back up so either it was a misunderstanding between all of us or he was lying. Idk. I'm over it. Whether he was lying or not, I'll still talk to him. Talking more would benefit me anyways. Also, I cooked some spaghetti. Not the most healthy thing to cook but two small bowls filled me up. I need something that's both healthy and easy to make other than vegetable soup. I know how to cook that. Pretty productive day. 

But I feel sad cause of other things. Just gonna try my best not to let it drag me down.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Good to hear you had a good day.

:hug things should sort themselves out in time. That is usually what happens. Crossing fingers, toes, teeth.

Teeth. :b


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Take a guess SAS...


----------



## 3stacks

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Take a guess SAS...


 :hug bring it in


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> Good to hear you had a good day.
> 
> :hug things should sort themselves out in time. That is usually what happens. Crossing fingers, toes, teeth.
> 
> Teeth. :b


Thank you. 

I'm just not going to tell myself things are getting better anymore. That almost led down a dark path. :/

I just have a few problems to deal with. But I think I can get one of them sorted out or at least out of my mind.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I'm feeling like that new Aladdin movie trailer is better than what they showed before.


----------



## Rezx

Feeling Lonely, like, i miss connecting with people.


----------



## Alyosha Clarke

Thankful. Appreciative. Really don’t have the words to say.


----------



## harrison

Pretty weird - a bit out of it I think and slightly dizzy. Just the leftover from this migraine this morning I think. Otherwise my mood is good though. Had a nice morning.


----------



## andy1984

like I'm waking up


----------



## blue tang

Scared, sad and worried.
I want to go forward but don't know how. I don't know how I got to this state that I am in; I can't seem to at least find my way back to how I used to be - anxious but still functioning and confident in my abilities. Now, I feel hopeless and pathetic and utterly unlovable.
If I have to, I can talk to people, but it drives my anxiety through the roof, leaving me exhausted afterwards. Going outside is hard but I can do it, though not consistently. But letting people into my private space is another level. The tradesmen are coming in 2 days to fix things. I am so unbelievably highly strung!
I am so at a loss with my life.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Fun Spirit said:


> I'm feeling like that new Aladdin movie trailer is better than what they showed before.


I found a junior you in this trailer at 0:50+ -


* *












The scene at 1:47+, damn. :O :b


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Anxious, miserable, and wishing I never wasted a year of my time (or her time) "dating" and not having it lead to anything meaningful aside from a nearly one-sided fling before she moved away. We are still "friends" on Facebook and Discord but never speak to each other at all. Love feels pretty overrated right about now. I am not doing that again for a long time.



blue tang said:


> Scared, sad and worried.
> I want to go forward but don't know how. I don't know how I got to this state that I am in; I can't seem to at least find my way back to how I used to be - anxious but still functioning and confident in my abilities. Now, I feel hopeless and pathetic and utterly unlovable.
> If I have to, I can talk to people, but it drives my anxiety through the roof, leaving me exhausted afterwards. Going outside is hard but I can do it, though not consistently. But letting people into my private space is another level. The tradesmen are coming in 2 days to fix things. I am so unbelievably highly strung!
> I am so at a loss with my life.


 :rub I can see myself in parts of this post right now.


----------



## SparklingWater

Bit of residual annoyance from something my mom said, but overall in a really good mood.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Uniman said:


> I found a junior you in this trailer at 0:50+ -
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The scene at 1:47+, damn. :O :b


Oh my God:rofl 
:rofl LMAO :rofl


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Fun Spirit said:


> Oh my God:rofl
> :rofl LMAO :rofl


Looks like a good movie with some laughs. :lol


----------



## Citrine79

blue tang said:


> Scared, sad and worried.
> 
> I want to go forward but don't know how. I don't know how I got to this state that I am in; I can't seem to at least find my way back to how I used to be - anxious but still functioning and confident in my abilities. Now, I feel hopeless and pathetic and utterly unlovable.
> 
> If I have to, I can talk to people, but it drives my anxiety through the roof, leaving me exhausted afterwards. Going outside is hard but I can do it, though not consistently. But letting people into my private space is another level. The tradesmen are coming in 2 days to fix things. I am so unbelievably highly strung!
> 
> I am so at a loss with my life.


I feel your pain...this is pretty much where I am at right now as well. I am so jaded, miserable and sick of pretty much everything...especially work.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## harrison

Tired, confused, slightly manic. I need to find a new psychiatrist but my experiences with them have mostly been negative or extremely mediocre. Exhausting to even think about it.

My wife suggested I try Lithium if this current stuff isn't working - which it doesn't seem to be. But that frightens me a bit. Apparently has a finer line between toxicity and therapeutic effect. Plus you can get the shakes taking it which would be embarassing.

I need some help with this though because I'm not doing very well on my own. God I'm sick of it.


----------



## Graeme1988

Worried that my backdated disability benefit money is about to me taken off me, as I, apparently owe over £4,000 in council tax payments? :? Got a letter through about it, yesterday. My oldest sister says I shouldn’t have to pay it as I was eligible for any tax. Because I was assured - when I got my name added the lease of the home I share with my mother - that me becoming a tennant wouldn’t affect me financially.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Graeme1988 said:


> Worried that my backdated disability benefit money is about to me taken off me, as I, apparently owe over £4,000 in council tax payments? :? Got a letter through about it, yesterday. My oldest sister says I shouldn't have to pay it as I was eligible for any tax. Because I was assured - when I got my name added the lease of the home I share with my mother - that me becoming a tennant wouldn't affect me financially.


  :rub


----------



## donistired

Sluggish, tired, sad, and running on a couple hours of sleep.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Anxious, miserable, and wishing I never wasted a year of my time (or her time) "dating" and not having it lead to anything meaningful aside from a nearly one-sided fling before she moved away. We are still "friends" on Facebook and Discord but never speak to each other at all. Love feels pretty overrated right about now. I am not doing that again for a long time.


I'm sorry mate. Try not to completely give up with people, with finding someone. I know it's hard. :squeeze


----------



## 3stacks

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Anxious, miserable, and wishing I never wasted a year of my time (or her time) "dating" and not having it lead to anything meaningful aside from a nearly one-sided fling before she moved away. We are still "friends" on Facebook and Discord but never speak to each other at all. Love feels pretty overrated right about now. I am not doing that again for a long time.


 same matey


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

As along the lines of what me mate Crumpy would say, it is a hard road to find a good woman.


----------



## 3stacks

As my mate @Uniman would say that Crumpy would say it's a hard road to find a good woman.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> As my mate @Uniman would say that Crumpy would say it's a hard road to find a good woman.


Strewth mate that Crumpy is a wise man. :b


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> As my mate @Uniman would say that Crumpy would say it's a hard road to find a good woman.
> 
> 
> 
> Srewth mate that Crumpy is a wise man.
Click to expand...

 no no that Uniman is a wise man


----------



## Crisigv

A bit upset. I really thought I had a chance with that job.


----------



## CNikki

At this point I don't give anymore.


----------



## SparklingWater

I'm cautiously optimistic.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> At this point I don't give anymore.


 :hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Stuck


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> I'm sorry mate. Try not to completely give up with people, with finding someone. I know it's hard. :squeeze


Thanks man, I will try. I can only do so much with my given circumstances in life.



3stacks said:


> same matey


Thanks dude.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Stuck


I know the feeling all too well lately.


----------



## DrTrashDudePhD

I'm feeling really great! I haven't been on this account/website for nearly two years, and I feel so happy to be here again!
I have a girlfriend, and she's really nice, caring and sweet (and cute too!). We've been dating for a few months, and I really hope this relationship will last forever (knock on wood!).
I also got into the hobby of PC building! I may have had to spend almost a thousand dollars to build one PC, but at the end of the day, it's all worth it!

I'm glad to hear about all the people who feel happy in this thread.
Anyone in this thread who feels a bit down or anxious, hang in there. I know the struggle you're going through, but I know you can do it; I believe in you!

~Dr. Trashdude, Ph.D. in Trashology


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I know the feeling all too well lately.


Aww, I'm sorry.  You deserve great things.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> no no that Uniman is a wise man


No, no the wise 3stacks. :b



Crisigv said:


> A bit upset. I really thought I had a chance with that job.


:hug

Crossing fingers, toes that there is something better in the future.


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> No, no the wise 3stacks. :b


True true


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> True true


Of course said the horse, that is the famous mister ed. :b


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> Of course said the horse, that is the famous mister ed. :b


:lol


----------



## komorikun

harrison said:


> Tired, confused, slightly manic. I need to find a new psychiatrist but my experiences with them have mostly been negative or extremely mediocre. Exhausting to even think about it.
> 
> My wife suggested I try Lithium if this current stuff isn't working - which it doesn't seem to be. But that frightens me a bit. Apparently has a finer line between toxicity and therapeutic effect. Plus you can get the shakes taking it which would be embarassing.
> 
> I need some help with this though because I'm not doing very well on my own. God I'm sick of it.


Are they many option for bipolar treatment? Like many different types of medications to try out if one doesn't work out?


----------



## harrison

komorikun said:


> Are they many option for bipolar treatment? Like many different types of medications to try out if one doesn't work out?


Apparently the two main mood stabilisers are Lithium and Sodium Valproate - but I think they use other things as well. My old psychiatrist gave me the option of those two main ones though - and I went with the second one because I didn't like the sound of the Lithium.

It doesn't always stop me from getting manic lately - plus it makes me quite tired and zonked out. And I'm only on about 700 mg when I used to take 1200.

I saw a GP again today about something else, and she's sent off a referral for me to find a new psychiatrist. I need to be a bit more proactive about this - I've been a bit slack, but I've had a fair bit else to deal with the last couple of years. Living on my own for the first time in years has taken me ages to get used to - getting a lot better at that now though.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Disgraceful


----------



## CNikki

Highly irritable. Less sleep building up and then having times where I would randomly wake up during the night. Plus I'm tired of things in general.


----------



## harrison

Feeling much more settled. Maybe this medication does work - I guess I always forget. Had a decent sleep although lots of really crazy dreams and woke up in a haze.


----------



## SparklingWater

Empowered and determined


----------



## Graeme1988

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub


Thanks, I guess... sorry I'm just still stressing about the whole situation. 

I'm going to see about this tax issue because it's definitely a mistake on the part of my local council. And my oldest sister believe I'm not obligated to pay it for that reason. If not, I'll see if I'm within ma rights tae f__kin' sue the [email protected]$%@*#!


----------



## CNikki

SparklingWater said:


> Empowered and determined


Great for you. 

Try passing some of that energy over here, please.


----------



## Fun Spirit

harrison said:


> Feeling much more settled. Maybe this medication does work - I guess I always forget. Had a decent sleep although lots of really crazy dreams and woke up in a haze.


Good to hear you are more settled
Be Strong Harrison

_ This is a Tapatalk APP post _


----------



## harrison

Fun Spirit said:


> Good to hear you are more settled
> Be Strong Harrison


Thanks a lot - very sweet of you. 

I'm okay - just need to try and keep taking this medication. I just get a bit sick of it. :roll

Probably better I take it though. The doctors (and my wife) keep telling me.

Btw - I should buy a ticket here and then I'll give you some if I win.


----------



## Fun Spirit

harrison said:


> Thanks a lot - very sweet of you.
> 
> I'm okay - just need to try and keep taking this medication. I just get a bit sick of it. :roll
> 
> Probably better I take it though. The doctors (and my wife) keep telling me.
> 
> Btw - I should buy a ticket here and then I'll give you some if I win.


  

 oh harrison 
Don't make me sad.

Yeah you should take it: )

Aw Thank You
But you keep all of it for your Family.
Do that for me when you win it big

_ This is a Tapatalk APP post _


----------



## Suchness

Feeling like I need to do a poopity poo.


----------



## Crisigv

Like a failure


----------



## harrison

A bit fluey - which is sort of weird because it's slightly pleasant, I don't know why.

Quite happy because I managed to go and get my books - can't believe I can get some of these nice old ones for less than I pay for a cup of coffee.


----------



## Suchness

harrison said:


> A bit fluey - which is sort of weird because it's slightly pleasant, I don't know why.
> 
> Quite happy because I managed to go and get my books - can't believe I can get some of these nice old ones for less than I pay for a cup of coffee.


You reading them or just collecting?


----------



## harrison

Suchness said:


> You reading them or just collecting?


These ones are just for collecting and maybe selling later on. Very nice ones.


----------



## Suchness

Four hours of sleep catching up to me.


----------



## Graeme1988

Ah think ah might do maself in... off masel’. Cuz ah cannae take much mair o’ this being blamed n’ telt am wrong when I do what’s asked of me. :cry


----------



## Vip3r

Crying or drinking, I am not sure which I did more of last night. All I know is my head hurts and my eyes are still swollen.


----------



## SparklingWater

Stomach hurts. Feel a bit nauseous. Not sure if I'm up to going out this morning. Will decide within the hour.

I also feel powerless and impatient. Just uncomfortable in my skin. Feel like **** this morning.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I need a miracle and I am worried about possibly having no roof over our head and no internet access. I can't be cut of the net for who know how long. I disappeared on my own for about a week and a half but I can't be away for X-amount of months straight due to a loss of internet access. My Friends are going to worry and wonder if I had left them. I had a loss of access before in the past. I went several months straight. I think even a year. Couldn't do anything about it. Shoot its been a year since I had a cell phone service.

My Family and I need God's Help. And I swear when He Deliver us and when we make it to the top I swear: We Are Out. It will be a wrap. Everyone who did Us wrong shall see and know if they find out. When we make it to the top there will be no one step'in to us wrong or stabbing us in our backs when we are down. Surely I am waiting for this day. It is coming. It will come. I know, I see it, I Believe it.

_ This is a Tapatalk APP post _


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Feel extremely depressed and suicidal. There is no help at all. I've been ghosted again and there's never been one single person who gives a ****. I feel like I'm in hell and I was destined to suffer. I don't give a **** about anything and no one gives a **** about me. I can't get away from the suffering. 

I hate that "she" has left me to suffer like this, but she can't help it.I wish I'd never been given a taste of happiness and fell for someone, because there is zero way of repeating what happened. It was a mirage in a desert. I just sit here day after day feeling ill and waiting to die. That's all this is. There's no relief. I'm so broken I can't function at all or feel any peace. I have ****ing no one to talk to, bond with, to laugh with. I have nothing real apart from my broken self. I can't escape into my head anymore. I'm only here because of my folks. Without them I'd be dead. 

I can't go out there and fight for a bleak future so I remain here doing nothing. There's no motivation, no joy. I need the impossible.


----------



## AffinityWing




----------



## SparklingWater

What. The. ****. 

I'm...Exasperated, amused, annoyed, in disbelief, saddened. There is just no way this is real life. I don't know if I should laugh or cry at how insane this situation is. You are who you surround yourself with. Time to take my leave lest I find myself in the same situation in another decade. I can't continue normalizing this toxic ****. I'm 32, if I keep at the **** I do irl, I might still have a chance. I'm done.


----------



## little_ghoul

sad because no one will chat with me


----------



## 3stacks

Bored


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Bored


The lady singer is a great distraction mate -


* *












Now I'm dancing like that. :lol

@harrison

The women singers during your days mate, wow.


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Bored
> 
> 
> 
> The lady singer is a great distraction mate -
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Now I'm dancing like that.
> 
> @harrison
> 
> The women during your days mate, wow.
Click to expand...

 it sounded like a funeral at the start lol. Who's number was that? I'm calling but she won't pick up &#128542;


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> The lady singer is a great distraction mate -
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Now I'm dancing like that. :lol
> 
> @harrison
> 
> The women singers during your days mate, wow.


Those hairdos on the guys bring back some memories mate - very disturbing ones.

I had long hair back in the 70's - I looked ridiculous.  (we all did though)

Nice-looking girl. I think you should definitey go to Sweden or Denmark soon mate. :O


----------



## tea111red

that song made me think of this:






st. patrick's day......good timing.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> it sounded like a funeral at the start lol. Who's number was that? I'm calling but she won't pick up &#128542;


Most likely number of video clip when extracted from old school tape.

Her best outfit, song in my opinion.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Those hairdos on the guys bring back some memories mate - very disturbing ones.
> 
> I had long hair back in the 70's - I looked ridiculous.  (we all did though)
> 
> Nice-looking girl. I think you should definitey go to Sweden or Denmark soon mate. :O


We have blonds that look like that here mate. Just they wouldn't give time of day unless dressed in a suit, drive an expensive car, etc.

The guy in the back left of her reminds me of a younger Jay Leno in a cafe scene.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> that song made me think of this:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> st. patrick's day......good timing.


I can see you going for a hunk like that Tea. 

I remember he was well liked by women.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> We have blonds that look like that here mate. *Just they wouldn't give time of day unless dressed in a suit, drive an expensive car, etc.*
> 
> The guy in the back left of her reminds me of a younger Jay Leno in a cafe scene.


No offence mate but I think you might be selling yourself a bit short there. Probably lots of young ladies would like you - they don't all want a fancy car and things like that. They just want someone decent and honest - and you're obviously both of those things.


----------



## Crisigv

same old worthless garbage


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> No offence mate but I think you might be selling yourself a bit short there. Probably lots of young ladies would like you - they don't all want a fancy car and things like that. They just want someone decent and honest - and you're obviously both of those things.


Women I have seen like that go for certain type of men that I'm not.

I knew one that worked at a bank, very beautiful but personality was very cold, even outside the bank when saw her walking past me in my car.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Women I have seen like that go for certain type of men that I'm not.
> 
> I knew one that worked at a bank, very beautiful but personality was very cold, even outside the bank when saw her walking past me in my car.


They're all different mate - lots of different people out there.

Just have to give them a chance sometimes. And give yourself a chance too - not be so hard on yourself.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> same old worthless garbage


No way. :hug

Highly intelligent, beautiful Italian woman, very bubbly (like when spoke in your car).

And you know it.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> I can see you going for a hunk like that Tea.
> 
> I remember he was well liked by women.


he's alright.

hunk......did you watch a lot of ricki lake or something?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> They're all different mate - lots of different people out there.
> 
> Just have to give them a chance sometimes. And give yourself a chance too - not be so hard on yourself.


Maybe. :stu


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> he's alright.
> 
> hunk......did you watch a lot of ricki lake or something?


Apparently you did.  

Mr February, must have been the chocolate as to why he won.

Maybe the audience was hungry and not enough to go around? :O :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired but have Hard Yakka to do.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Apparently you did.
> 
> Mr February, must have been the chocolate as to why he won.
> 
> Maybe the audience was hungry and not enough to go around? :O :b


nah, i skipped those episodes.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> nah, i skipped those episodes.


No eye candy? :O

You deserve a great man to match your greatness.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Wowed by what I saw on TV. 

Netball mum says traveling 3 hours for her daughter is nothing if her daughter needs something. What a great mum.


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> No eye candy? :O
> 
> You deserve a great man to match your greatness.


i never thought any of those guys were attractive.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> i never thought any of those guys were attractive.


Now wondering what you find attractive?


----------



## tea111red

Uniman said:


> Now wondering what you find attractive?


it doesn't matter.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tea111red said:


> it doesn't matter.


Ok. :hug


----------



## Ckg2011

Terrible. I feel so lonely, all I want is to cuddle but that never happen. I am short ugly sensitive fat stupid lost my job and living with my parents. :cry :cry :cry


----------



## tea111red

my sleep schedule being off has been messing up my diet.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Uniman said:


> Tired but have Hard Yakka to do.


Done.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Walked into the kitchen and almost puked because of after smell... FML it's too much to just have a simple life and family huh? I need to bloody use the kitchen to cook something because I'm hungry but have to shove a scent candle in my face to stop me from almost throwing up.

I just want to feel taken care of, not in the literal sense but that someone actually cares for my well being and makes things simple and easy and CLEANLY... Then I can freakin' get to work and self improve even faster.. 

I haven't felt safe my whole life, everything is always either consistently disappointing and frustrating or unchangeable.


----------



## Franz Ferdinand

Uneasy.


----------



## copper

Glad that winter is giving up its grip here. 40's all week rising to 50 next weekend. Snow is melting. Hope yesterday was the last I have to use the snow blower for this season.


----------



## Bellamars47

Annoyed and pissed that in order to have my freedom from my narcissistic mom i have be cut off financially. I don't mind it because i at least get my freedom and peace of mind. But right now I'm so broke and am trying to go back to school. My dad supports me but now i have to ask him for help in the meanwhile because i don't want anything really to do with my mom. 

I agree with one of the users above that sometimes i wish i hadn't found out about my mom is a narcissist. It makes me really sad knowing that i cant trust in her and in a way I feel like my life is a big lie. Its really hard to comprehend and just trying to break free is really hard. I still have to live with her for the meanwhile but I'm tired of doing things her way and me not being able to just be myself and do things i want to do. This is the first step forward to finally being free and independent but i rather have it that way that be stuck here forever. Wish me luck guys.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm feeling ****ty. I have a feeling I'll have to pay for a new stove with my tax money. It messed up whenever I hit 350 degrees on it. I accidentally hit it twice and it just kinda exploded. That part of the stove was messed up before and it took over a month before anything was done about it. Nothing on the stove is working either. I tried to test it to see if it did. The heat isn't coming on or anything. I'm ****ing done I swear.  I was hoping to buy a car with that money.


----------



## blue2

I bought a new stove at Christmas made by eastern european's : /


----------



## PandaBearx

Is it weird that I feel a bit sad to be quitting my old job? I hate goodbyes even though I know it's a good change.


----------



## harrison

I've got the flu - I feel like crap. Plus it really annoys me that I can get so upset so quickly just reading some nonsense on a bloody forum. It happens when I see things on the TV too. How the hell will I ever be able to do anything outside again - like trying to work or study.

I think I'm worse than before. Maybe I should just stick to selling online - an email here or there isn't too bad.


----------



## Graeme1988

Depressed, but that's nothin' new for me.  When ya deal with difficult people who also happen to be related to ye, you get like that a lot.


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Depressed, but that's nothin' new for me.  When ya deal with difficult people who also happen to be related to ye, you get like that a lot.


God bless you! Wish you well soon!


----------



## Alyosha Clarke

you can’t twist the fabric of reality and not have it snap back on you


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> I drank coffee at night, now I can't sleep. I'm bored and I don't feel I have enough support.





lily said:


> it's so cold outside, yet not cold enough to have gone ice skating during the March break. I can't wait 'til it gets warmer now so I can go out for a walk!





lily said:


> I hope I have a nice day tomorrow, tonight is not so nice.





lily said:


> I feel so bored/lonely





lily said:


> I still can't sleep and I'm so bored


:hug



harrison said:


> I've got the flu - I feel like crap. Plus it really annoys me that I can get so upset so quickly just reading some nonsense on a bloody forum. It happens when I see things on the TV too. How the hell will I ever be able to do anything outside again - like trying to work or study.
> 
> I think I'm worse than before. Maybe I should just stick to selling online - an email here or there isn't too bad.


Sorry to hear mate.

Lots of vitamin C or orange juice helps.



Graeme1988 said:


> Depressed, but that's nothin' new for me.  When ya deal with difficult people who also happen to be related to ye, you get like that a lot.


Sorry to hear.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Still feel a bit crappy and today's my birthday. I'll try to make it better I guess.


----------



## 3stacks

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Still feel a bit crappy and today's my birthday. I'll try to make it better I guess.


 :hug happy birthday


----------



## RayMann11

not bad


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

3stacks said:


> :hug happy birthday


Thanks.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Still feel a bit crappy and today's my birthday. I'll try to make it better I guess.


Happy creation day. I mean Birthday.


----------



## harrison

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Still feel a bit crappy and today's my birthday. I'll try to make it better I guess.


Hope you have a great day.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Sorry to hear mate.
> 
> Lots of vitamin C or orange juice helps.


Thanks mate - I might try and get down to the shops a bit later.


----------



## copper

Supervisor is driving me nuts. He is worried about lawsuit filed against our agency due to one of our residential consumer died and he was only 22. We did everything to keep him safe. But gave himself a skull fracture but the Neurologist said that didn't kill him. He did have Pneumonia. I am thinking he went into septic shock. We will know when the Pathologist report comes back from downstate. Senseless obsessing over this all day, everyday. Luckily, I had 1 hour of OT so I was able to leave earlier.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - I might try and get down to the shops a bit later.


You're welcome mate.

Try Charlies orange juice as is pure orange juice. Just like crushed oranges and put in a bottle.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> You're welcome mate.
> 
> Try *Charlies orange juice* as is pure orange juice. Just like crushed oranges and put in a bottle.


Okay mate - I think that's the one my son likes.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Okay mate - I think that's the one my son likes.


I got over the main part of the flu in 2-3 days just using that (couldn't eat).

Depending on immune system, another 2-3 weeks or so to get over it fully.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> Happy creation day. I mean Birthday.


Haha, thank you Uniman. :grin2:
@harrison Thank you.  That cupcake looks yummy.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Haha, thank you Uniman. :grin2:
> 
> @harrison Thank you.  That cupcake looks yummy.


You're welcome.

Creation day was many months before the Birthday, but Birthday is after fully created, so. :stu :grin2:


----------



## versikk

feeling naflarkegi


----------



## SpartanSaber

Still feel extremely depressed.


----------



## harrison

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Haha, thank you Uniman. :grin2:
> 
> @harrison Thank you.  That cupcake looks yummy.


Haha - yeah it does look good, I was hoping you'd like that picture. 

There's an incredible cup-cake place at a mall I go to with my wife - they have incredible ones. My wife often makes me stop so she can get some.


----------



## Suchness

versikk said:


> feeling naflarkegi


Is that a yellow pill feeling?

Sent from my POCOPHONE F1 using Tapatalk


----------



## BeautyandRage

Lonely :rain


----------



## 3stacks

Bored and sick


----------



## Crisigv

not good


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Meh, just meh.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Thanks a lot
> 
> feeling bored that's enough already


You're welcome.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

harrison said:


> Haha - yeah it does look good, I was hoping you'd like that picture.
> 
> There's an incredible cup-cake place at a mall I go to with my wife - they have incredible ones. My wife often makes me stop so she can get some.


Oh, cool. I bet they look delicious, too. So she's a cupcake kind of person? Haha. I know most adults don't like icing but I actually do like it. I bought me a cake from the store for my birthday. Lol


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Uniman said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> Creation day was many months before the Birthday, but Birthday is after fully created, so. :stu :grin2:


0


----------



## Suchness

Yeah, happy birthday Purple!


----------



## Deaf Mute

Choking lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> 0


Heavenly born. :yes

Or was that born Heavenly? :con :stu


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> _Happy birthday!_  :boogie


Lol Thank you. :grin2:
@Suchness Thanks dude. 
@Uniman Heavenly born sounds better.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol Thank you. :grin2:
> 
> @Suchness Thanks dude.
> 
> @Uniman Heavenly born sounds better.


Heavenly born it is. :grin2:


----------



## harrison

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Oh, cool. I bet they look delicious, too. So she's a cupcake kind of person? Haha. I know most adults don't like icing but I actually do like it. I bought me a cake from the store for my birthday. Lol


Yeah she likes cupcakes sometimes. I do too actually. We quite like icing but it can get a bit sweet sometimes.

Hope it was a nice cake for your birthday.


----------



## versikk

Suchness said:


> Is that a yellow pill feeling?
> 
> Sent from my POCOPHONE F1 using Tapatalk


regardless of what Fraktur is alluding to with "yellow pill"... in a way, yes - it is:afr


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

harrison said:


> Yeah she likes cupcakes sometimes. I do too actually. We quite like icing but it can get a bit sweet sometimes.
> 
> Hope it was a nice cake for your birthday.


Yea, it does get pretty sweet. I unfortunately like really sweet stuff but don't want to eat a lot of sugar. Haha.

Thank you. It was.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mad.

My friend called me on the phone and we were talking then she talked about drinking and that's when I told her I don't want to drink anymore. I told her about the daiquiri I had and how it didn't make me feel good and how it made my heart start beating fast. But she kept saying how I should drink wine or maybe I drank it too fast. I don't care. If I'm feeling like that I'm gonna stay away from any alcohol period. It's my body. I told her some people like drinking and some don't. She seems like a bad influence trying to get me to drink. My body is just real sensitive to it or something. I told her it made me feel depressed too but I feel like she's just going to get me to keep drinking. I should just come up with excuses not to see her cause that draws the line for me. My dad was an alcoholic and I think my body's just more prone to it. Everyone's body is different. :/


----------



## caelle

In the mood to watch like 5 movies all at once. But of course I can't so I have to pick just one. But how can I?


----------



## Crisigv

Who cares anymore? My feelings don't matter.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Who cares anymore? My feelings don't matter.


:sigh :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit better than usual.


----------



## versikk

caelle said:


> In the mood to watch like 5 movies all at once. But of course I can't so I have to pick just one. But how can I?


enter them into a randomizer and watch the one it picks for you.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Feeling like there's no one else like me who will truly get me, and I'll always be alone. This has gone on for far too long. Options of change are so dull, limited and frightening, and the idea of doing somethings day after day, over and over again, fills me with apathy and dread. 

The new person I met has definitely ghosted me as well. I've thought about blocking them, but there's definitely no one at all if I do that.

I wish I could sort myself out before I tried to talk to other people, but I just can't do it. I can't get back into work. I can't maintain it. If I could get back into work and get a decent job I'd have a chance of finding someone I think, but I cannot stop the deeply ingrained behavior. I'm thinking about going back to my GP next week and finally getting a diagnosis of avpd because I clearly have this. This **** is killing me.

I've felt completely hopeless all day today. I think the good weather is making me feel worse because I have no one to enjoy it with.


----------



## tea111red

been up for 5 hrs........already ready for the day to end.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> been up for 5 hrs........already ready for the day to end.


Wish I felt tired so I can sleep. I feel a bit better when I'm tired. My mind calms a bit. I'm not doing anything with my life though, otherwise I'd have no calm.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

versikk said:


> enter them into a randomizer and watch the one it picks for you.


 A randomizer would probably pick one you didn't enter.


----------



## versikk

WillYouStopDave said:


> A randomizer would probably pick one you didn't enter.


Chocolate Fudge Sundae


----------



## BeautyandRage

Really sad and lonely. Depressed and tired, so so tired. I miss having someone to talk to but even when I try reaching out to some people it’s very obvious they don’t care, what’s the point. :sigh


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

BeautyandRage said:


> Really sad and lonely. Depressed and tired, so so tired. I miss having someone to talk to but even when I try reaching out to some people it's very obvious they don't care, what's the point. :sigh


It's so hard having no one to talk to. 

I want someone real who's conversation I can get lost in. Not even come close to having that for well over a year now. I want to bond with someone again.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Annoyed cause the woman here got mad about the shower curtain getting on the inside of the shower stall. It's a damn curtain. :| There's two curtains and one is supposed to go on the outside. I made sure the one that goes on the outside was but it got wet. Oh well. Funny coming from someone like her always saying you should be thankful for small things yet she complains about a curtain and stupid materialistic things. I have to deal without a bed and have had to for like 5 months but she complains about that. Lol Well, the name Betty suits her cause she sure is petty. :no Smh.

So glad she's gone again. Hopefully, she doesn't come back for a few weeks. I must've ran her off. :lol


----------



## 3stacks

I'm annoyed at Betty as well


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> I'm annoyed at Betty as well


She's obviously got a lot to answer for mate. Quite a few of us are upset now.


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> I'm annoyed at Betty as well
> 
> 
> 
> She's obviously got a lot to answer for mate. Quite a few of us are upset now.
Click to expand...

 Yeah she needs a good spanking


----------



## andy1984

not good


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Tired of this bollocks existence. Tired of chatting bollocks on here.


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> Tired of this bollocks existence. Tired of chatting bollocks on here.


 we like your bollocks (not in that way)


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> we like your bollocks (not in that way)


https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bisto bollocks


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> we like your bollocks (not in that way)
> 
> 
> 
> https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bisto bollocks
Click to expand...

 omg lmao there's no way that you weren't the person that wrote that


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> omg lmao there's no way that you weren't the person that wrote that


lol


----------



## tea111red

well......i've got that "black betty" song in my head.


----------



## Karsten

tea111red said:


> well......i've got that "black betty" song in my head.


That song drives me up the wall.


----------



## tea111red

Karsten said:


> That song drives me up the wall.


the visual i get when i hear one of the covers (spiderbait) of that song makes me laugh. i imagine hillbillies going wild, lol.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> I'm annoyed at Betty as well





harrison said:


> She's obviously got a lot to answer for mate. Quite a few of us are upset now.





3stacks said:


> Yeah she needs a good spanking


Spanking a bouncing betty? :O

Excuse me while I run before you spank the bouncing betty.


----------



## 3stacks

Uniman said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> I'm annoyed at Betty as well
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> harrison said:
> 
> 
> 
> She's obviously got a lot to answer for mate. Quite a few of us are upset now.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah she needs a good spanking
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Spanking a bouncing betty? /forum/images/SAS_2015/smilies/tango_face_surprise.png
> 
> Excuse me while I run before you spank the bouncing betty.
Click to expand...

 I'll spank yer bouncing booty


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> I'll spank yer bouncing booty


Be a good old chap and spank the bouncing betty (mine) first.

But make sure I'm a good distance away and in a trench before you do. :b


----------



## Crisigv

Irrelevant


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Irrelevant


:hug


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Groundhog Day for the vast majority of us again. Lovely. 

Waking up every morning partly wishing you hadn't. Lovely.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

3stacks said:


> I'm annoyed at Betty as well


Lol


----------



## caelle

Feeling okayish. Trying to relax and enjoy this snow


----------



## BeautyandRage

Pissed of that you don’t give a ****.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

I'm feeling better this week. (Last week was also a pretty decent week for me.)


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Endlessly unsatisfied. Never feel any relief.


----------



## Maslow

A little sluggish from getting drunk last night. I may quit drinking. It's not worth it any more. Or maybe I'll reserve it for when I'm stressed out, which isn't that often these days since I rarely socialize.


----------



## SocialAnxietyAndMe

Honestly, very lonely.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SocialAnxietyAndMe said:


> Honestly, very lonely.


Where about are you in the UK? Just noticed your youtube channel so will check it out.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SocialAnxietyAndMe said:


> Honestly, very lonely.


Just watched your video on feeling like being a failed adult and I can relate to it all. I'm around your age too. I'm unemployed and have been for a long time. I've recovered in some ways from how I used to be and I get told I don't come across like I have SA by a lot of people, but unemployment is the one thing that really get's me down. It's so hard being unemployed. I've recovered from SA to the point where if I didn't have to worry about money, life would be so, SO much easier.


----------



## exceptionalfool

I'm feeling depleted and really tired of this [email protected]#$. :lol blah :fall


----------



## wmu'14

Sleepy as hell.


----------



## harrison

Mood-wise I feel good - increased my medication to 1000mg, just under what it's supposed to be.

Just getting over this stupid flu - a couple more days and it'll be gone. Will be able to get back to my normal routine and out there to look for more books. It's very boring just staying home all the time.


----------



## Flora20

So lonely...


----------



## Graeme1988

Wondering why I even bother... why ah even bother being nice enough to do things for my family. They're no exactly appreciative o' me agreeing to help them. Rarely get thanked for doing so... even when am emotionally blackmail intae it.

_"Oh, that's no fair!"_ and all the other $h!%* talk that comes with it. Y'know, the narcissistic, projecting their faults onto you. Playing the victim, no accepting responsibility, etc.

Happiness does'nae seem to suit me, anyway. Like genuine happiness, being positive. Ah dinnae huv the face for it. But, then again, I'm Scottish and the Scots are, generally speaking, miserable c&#8230;%*#. It's crap when ye huv tae f&#8230;kin' live with 'em, though. Sure as f&#8230;k takes it toll mentally, like. D'ye know how bloody difficult it to huv a 15 minute argument with a member o' yer family about a single, minuscule point that naebuddy else would make a big deal of, and no huv that argument end in a violent assault? Thank ****, ah took an interest in Zen Buddhism and meditation when I was in teens, cuz I'd probably be in jail right now, doing life, if ah hadn't.


----------



## Crisigv

meh


----------



## CNikki

What ever happens, happens. I couldn't care less anymore.


----------



## 8888

A little down


----------



## harrison

Feel like I need to get the hell out of this flat - have been here for the best part of a week with this flu. God it's boring.


----------



## Graeme1988

F…kin’ fed up with living... If ah hud enough money to afford emigrating n’ living somewhere else, ah would. Ah mean, like packing up, buying a place, and having enough money to live on from day to day. Then, it’d be grand. Cuz, honestly, ah cannae take much more o’ the dysfunctional family drama. Same ol’ $h!%*, day in, day oot !  It’s long since stopped being darkly humorous, it’s just sad as f…k now. Yet, if ah speak up, am a bully, [email protected][email protected], etc.

It’s quite terrifying when ye huv tae watch what ya say in yer own house, for fear you’ll cause a massive row if ya say anything that could be perceived as a negative criticism. Constantly walking on eggshells. No wonder I’m social anxious. It’s no easy being around folk that snap at ya one minute, then are suddenly nice to ye the next. Maybe that’s why I’m so guarded and defensive, or standoff-ish ye could say ?


----------



## Graeme1988

Happiness does’nae seem to last for me... the odd moment here n’ there. But nothing long term, y’know? Which is really $h!%*. Ah would’nae wish the amount o’ misery ah feel most o’ the time upon anyone.


----------



## Crisigv

All around crappy


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Graeme1988 said:


> F&#8230;kin' fed up with living... If ah hud enough money to afford emigrating n' living somewhere else, ah would. Ah mean, like packing up, buying a place, and having enough money to live on from day to day. Then, it'd be grand. Cuz, honestly, ah cannae take much more o' the dysfunctional family drama. Same ol' $h!%*, day in, day oot !  It's long since stopped being darkly humorous, it's just sad as f&#8230;k now. Yet, if ah speak up, am a bully, [email protected][email protected], etc.
> 
> It's quite terrifying when ye huv tae watch what ya say in yer own house, for fear you'll cause a massive row if ya say anything that could be perceived as a negative criticism. Constantly walking on eggshells. No wonder I'm social anxious. It's no easy being around folk that snap at ya one minute, then are suddenly nice to ye the next. Maybe that's why I'm so guarded and defensive, or standoff-ish ye could say ?





Graeme1988 said:


> Happiness does'nae seem to last for me... the odd moment here n' there. But nothing long term, y'know? Which is really $h!%*. Ah would'nae wish the amount o' misery ah feel most o' the time upon anyone.


I'm sorry you have to deal with family like this mate. How many are you living with? Sounds like your family are cluster B disordered. I wish you could afford to escape it all too. Like you said, no wonder you have SA.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> All around crappy


:frown2:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

CNikki said:


> What ever happens, happens. I couldn't care less anymore.


:frown2:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

8888 said:


> A little down


Better than a lot! Gotta count ya blessings. lol Hard at times though. :frown2:


----------



## Fun Spirit

lily said:


> feeling so awful, sad, hurt, lonely and rejected.. I've cried a lot yesterday and today I cried more..


What is wrong Lily?: (
:squeeze

I'll PM you


----------



## Fun Spirit

lily said:


> something really hurt me and I'm already really lonely so I don't know why God would let this happen to me especially when I'm really nice and helpful. I wish something very nice to happen to me. I wouldn't like to talk about this anymore.


I'm sorry you feel this way. Maybe God want you to learn to like your own company. Once you do you would be able to handle long periods of having no one around. I learned this when my 2 best online friends had moved on from me. I was that loyal friend. I loved them and yet poof. They never messaged me again. Not to mention the forum I use to be on had shut down so I went through a period of having no one around. Over time I learned to like my own company. Be me and do my thing and not be too concern about being alone/lonely. I ended up attracting new people because of it.

For you or anyone who feel lonely if you learn to have fun on your own or enjoy your own company you won't feel so lonely. You would also attract people to you because they would want to be a part of your company. {Later turning into a possible friendship}

Just a little helpful insight. I won't say no more on this. 
:squeeze

And something nice shall happen to you


----------



## CNikki

Not really a wonder, but the fact I'm up past two in the morning thinking about everything that could (and has) gone wrong...but knowing it's not ****ing worth it. I'm just trying to envision the future (two years, hopefully less), and right now that is what keeps me going. I need to make smart decisions for once.



Uniman said:


> Just done with this place for now. Wish you all the best with your lives.


Sorry to see you go. I can understand why one would think this way. I'm not even sure what I'm still on here... Good luck. :hug


----------



## harrison

Slightly elevated but not too bad. The medication shouldn't let it get too crazy.


----------



## harrison

Uniman said:


> Just done with this place for now. Wish you all the best with your lives.


Just have a rest for a little while mate - you'll be okay.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

ill, cold, depressed, anxious


----------



## 8888

Pete Beale said:


> Better than a lot! Gotta count ya blessings. lol Hard at times though. :frown2:


True

Sent from my XT1526 using Tapatalk


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Uniman said:


> Just done with this place for now. Wish you all the best with your lives.


Feel the same mate.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Feel badly depressed and hopeless. But I always feel that anyway. This is life. Impossible to be normal or find any peace or happiness for longer than five minutes. Unable to connect with anyone. Pointless.


----------



## Fun Spirit

lily said:


> Thank you so much for trying to help. I'm not the kind of person who can like my own company but I do have things I have to see if I have somewhere to go so that's perhaps a little something.


:yay You're Welcome :yay:
There you go Lily
_______________

I just woke up and yet I feel off and a little drain. Walking to the kitchen felt like I wasn't there. Maybe It is because I didn't eat much for dinner last night. I hope the feeling will go away.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I've felt like I have very mild flu for the past few months. Only feels like I've had a couple of weeks where I didn't feel like this. It's the depression etc. It's very mild but feeling like this for so ****ing long makes me feel little ****. Just relentless.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Both good and disappointed. I'm glad they brought my hours up again next week but disappointed only because the reason why they did is my produce manager is going on vacation. And just a few days ago, my assistant produce manager had to go home cause her son was sick and that gave me 10 extra hours. At least there's that, though.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sick again.


----------



## funnynihilist

I cannot get warm today. It's 60 outside and I'm sitting in front of the heat like it's in the teens.
I think the infected tooth and antibiotics ****ed me up because I can't seem to concentrate either.


----------



## CNikki

Like an old person. My knees have been hurting lately and at some points it's hard for me to get up. Fun.


----------



## Ai

Stressed. A coworker of mine has always been a bit abrasive and bossy. But when she was recently (and rightly) passed over for a promotion, her behavior became much worse. Now that she feels threatened and isn't the _only_ one receiving blatant preferential treatment, she's on this passive-aggressive rampage. I cannot _stand_ being condescended and bossed around, much less by someone I _actually_ have seniority over.

I'm patient and have _been_ very patient. To unfortunate doormat degrees. But when she texted _another_ coworker on shift with me yesterday to ask her to _tell_ me to do something... I snapped.

I got so angry, I finally approached my boss and asked her if she could speak with said coworker. And now apparently there is drama brewing. And I just don't want to deal with it. I instantly regret everything.

Kinda want to call off tomorrow. But I know that isn't an option...



CNikki said:


> Like an old person. My knees have been hurting lately and at some points it's hard for me to get up. Fun.


Same. =| I think, for me, it's the rapidly fluctuating temperatures the region's been experiencing lately.


----------



## Musicfan

Uniman said:


> Just done with this place for now. Wish you all the best with your lives.


Please no


----------



## tea111red

really wish i could live further away from neighbors.


----------



## harrison

Feel like crap - can't believe how long this flu is hanging around. Very annoying.


----------



## SunshineSam218

I'm feeling very drained right now, but I can't get too sleep.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Fun Spirit

Not too pleased. I deleted all of my PMs. I have nothing to hide. I'm just not fond of people violating my private privacy. If I am talking to a fish behind closed doors let that door remain closed and locked.

_ 3/25/2019 SAS is having a Security Glitch. People are having access to people's accounts. BEWARE_


----------



## tea111red

glad i got through another day of this diet.


----------



## andy1984

pretty tired for no good reason


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Same old groundhog day crap. Wish I had a load of money to kill a load of mine and other peoples issues in one go.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Same old groundhog day crap.


lol......yep.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> lol......yep.


I think I'd just check out if it wasn't for family. I'm desperate for a miracle. lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange




----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> I think I'd just check out if it wasn't for family. I'm desperate for a miracle. lol


yep.....it's painful living a stagnant life or a life where progress is very slow. i hope your miracle is in the works, lol.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> yep.....it's painful living a stagnant life or a life where progress is very slow. i hope your miracle is in the works, lol.


:frown2:


----------



## Fun Spirit

Man I'm spooked. I swear something had went passed my window and struck our apartment. I don't know what it was. I saw it with the corner of my eye. It was black. I looked at my window wondering what the heck it was. I lifted up my window blinds and open my window to see what it was. I can't see much on the 2nd floor. I don't know what it was but I don't like it. It remind me of that time when my Dad and I were driving when suddenly a little bird hit our windshield. Not the side where the driver and passenger window was. The front windshield. No bird fly straight towards a windshield in that direction. About some weeks later my cousin's aunt died. Bird was a death token. I been hearing crows too lately. One day about a week and a half ago I saw and heard 3 crows making up a lot of noise first thing in the morning but it appear that the grey white paw stray cat "Whiskers" was bothering them. They flew overheard our apartment. Whiskers seem to have followed them at a distance. I think there will be 3 deaths. First it was my great grandma last month. {I seen a large hawk that mysterious disappeared before this crow incident. So I don't quite think this count. It could be} Then my high school classmate told me his Mom passed last month. I think there is going to be a third or second death coming. I don't like this.


----------



## JerryAndSports

Actually feel happier than I’ve felt Ina while.


----------



## donistired

Like a chump and a chode. A big chumpode


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kind of nervous for tomorrow. Have to do something new for early morning shift and I never work early morning. Here goes nothing.


----------



## blue2

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Here goes nothing.


....Once more unto the breach : /


----------



## PandaBearx

Surprisingly good


----------



## Fun Spirit

So relieved. I ate my soup without any problems.


----------



## Suchness

Fun Spirit said:


> So relieved. I ate my soup without any problems.


Das ist gut.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Suchness said:


> Das ist gut.


Tank food: )


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

blue2 said:


> ....Once more unto the breach : /


Haha, yea. Unfortunately. All I can do is try my best. Just hope I don't get patronized tomorrow.


----------



## Graeme1988

Pete Beale said:


> I'm sorry you have to deal with family like this mate. How many are you living with? Sounds like your family are cluster B disordered. I wish you could afford to escape it all too. Like you said, no wonder you have SA.


Just me n' Mum now, but my older sisters come to visit from time to time. Especially now that my older sister has kids of her own. But she's still as temperamental as she was during her teen years, when it was me, her and our mother all living together in the same house. _Fun times !_ One wrong word and it'll start an argument - it's still like that now. :mum Needless to say, eating Christmas dinner is the only time we spend as a family, collectively. And it's tense as f__k. Not particularly enjoyable experience. 

And she'll constant question why this n' why that, until she gets the answer she wants to her. :bash And, she loves to claim that our mother - all of us, in fact - do nothing for her. Despite my mother and oldest sister looking after her kids when asked to. And I get called upon whenever she has an issue with her computer that she can't be arsed doing a web search to resolve. Or photos need print, or buying something for one of her kids that she can't afford. Not that I get thanked for doing any of those things. :x

Oh, believe you me, there's been many an argument over the years, especially the last few years or so where we very nearly came to blows on a couple occasions.

The oldest sister isn't as bad though. Not nearly as difficult to be around. Even though it, ironically, used to me who was perceived as _"difficult"_ and _"intimidating"_. That said, my nieces enjoy spending time with me, to the point where they refuse to leave my room when they come up to see me. Whilist I might not say much to 'em, as I'm usually distracted playing my guitar, I do say _"Hello"_ to them, and ask follow-up question to keep my oldest niece talking. And that wee lassie sure can talk ! :lol: Quite surprised that I've yet to have the confrontational _"Huh! Why tha f&#8230;k d'they like you mair than me, eh ?! How's that, then?!"_ tangent levelled at me from the middle sibling. :steam Mind you, I doubt she'd like my answers, because she'd be unable to twist my words and accuse me of lying. Something she's, unfortunately, quite skilled at.


----------



## Graeme1988

Hoping my relative's cancer surgery goes well tomorrow. They got checked into hospital today, ahead of it. They're at the same hospital where I had my orthopaedic surgery done 3 years. And exactly as what happened to me, the reception desk on the ward that my relative is on lost or misplaced their medical notes, and had no clue what this relative of mine was being admitted for, or the operation they were having done. Despite only having been diagnosed _2 months ago!_


----------



## Graeme1988

On a more positive note, I’m currently refurbished an old laptop of mine that I had laying about, and I’m going to give to my oldest sister. As she’s been tell me, quite frequently, that she could do with a new laptop that has a bit more storage space. And I’m trying to get back into a routine of making music, and playing my guitar. Though, I could really do to learn the stuff that I wasn’t taught when I was younger, and taking lessons, as I’m that great at writing interesting riffs or guitar solos. And doing both of those things is quite daunting when yer not that good a guitar player to begin with.


----------



## funnynihilist

I feel weary.


----------



## CNikki

Insignificant. Enough where I know at the end of the day nobody gives a ****. We are only out for ourselves. I don’t know why I would give the very message I’ve been told since a young age that we need to fend for ourselves and think twice on that fact. 

Melodramatic. Bring out the violins now. But yeah, this is how I’m feeling if I am to be truthful.


----------



## Ekardy

Insignificant, irrelevant, forgettable.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ekardy said:


> Insignificant, irrelevant, forgettable.


Hey, I remember you!


----------



## Crisigv

:sigh I don't know. I just don't know anymore. :rain


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Insignificant, irrelevant, forgettable.


You are none of those things darling.


----------



## Ekardy

SamanthaStrange said:


> Hey, I remember you!


 I really missed you guys!
Honestly, I've been wondering about almost everyone on here.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug:squeeze
> You are none of those things darling.


:squeeze



BleedingHearts said:


> welcome back! sorry to hear how you're feeling


 Thank you.


----------



## bad baby

Got woken up at before 8 by the buzzer on my day off. Was landlord. He had called yesterday and said he was gonna come at 8, and I asked him to come at noon instead, and he agreed. So then I was like, "I thought you said on the phone...?" and he said he's busy at noon. Eighty year old guy busy doing what, eating lunch??? But my flatmate was all smiles and so I tried to do the same. Ugh I only got like five hours of sleep. Ugghghhhh wtf *shakes fist*


----------



## Fun Spirit

Weird. 

Yaw messing with my intuition. How could I say or think about something specific now to later find out that someone spoke of the same thing but in a slightly different way? 

-I was thing and in the process of writing my body pendulum experience that relate to my discovery of my Spirit Guide but I didn't finish writing out my draft. Hours later BOOM: someone mentions Spirit Guide. 

-I ate soup for dinner the other day then BOOM: my friend at some too. 
{I think you're pulling my leg}

-I mention about an old man when BOOM: A friend mentions a old man today. {I think you're pulling my leg} 

-I mention to someone that they are pulling my leg. Then BOOM: several hours later someone tell me about them stretching. Specifically their legs. 

-I had this weird sexual dream that made me say "Well I can't post that on the Dream Thread." I check out SAS when BOOM: I stumble across a post about men's private part. I'm like "SAS is messing with my intuition." 


Not sure if it is all in my head or not but yaw have to stop:rofl Yaw know I get that "Speak things into existence" result and that "Think about something and it come to pop up" experience a lot:rofl As if I could pick up a small part of the future. It is weird:rofl


----------



## SparklingWater

* *




I'm excited. Even though I have a tendency to be impatient and hard on myself, I have to admit things are moving forward again and life is changing. The way I relate to others, how I feel, having a sense of belonging rather than that pervasive sense of other- everything is so different. Exploring career prospects that suit me. Doing a training program while I consider whether I'll begin school again in the fall. I think change in any area of life is kinda like weight loss. For a while you don't see any difference, but if you just keep at it you suddenly get that woosh. Or that time you look in the mirror and can finally see the difference for yourself. It takes time but then it happens so fast. Keep your head down and keep doing the work. Keep moving forward.


----------



## JerryAndSports

Veryyyyy bored at school. Can’t wait to get home though!


----------



## tea111red

trapped.


----------



## discopotato

Pressured.


----------



## 0589471

extra toxic


----------



## WillYouStopDave

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> extra toxic


 .....With super butterfly features. (The super butterfly features outweigh the toxic features)


----------



## 0589471

WillYouStopDave said:


> .....With super butterfly features. (The super butterfly features outweigh the toxic features)


Haha, thanks :squeeze I'm just feeling annoying today. Should be called That Chatty Butterfly. Like shush. :lol


----------



## blue2

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> extra toxic


....Your name reminds me of that Simpson's episode where Bart becomes a butterfly & burns down the school cause "Nobody suspects the butterfly" :lol


----------



## 0589471

blue2 said:


> ....Your name reminds me of that Simpson's episode where Bart becomes a butterfly & burns down the school cause "Nobody suspects the butterfly"


Ah yes, it just so happens burning things down is also something I like


----------



## Fun Spirit

My appetite is returning. I ate that salad my Mom had made. If I haven't gotten full I would had killed it. Unlike my other recent meals I didn't eat this meal slowly. I had a few startled moments this morning but after going quiet from trying to convince my Mom about what could had trigger my sudden panic attack to which she responded with "it just in my head, she really doesn't know, I keep saying one thing and another the next time, she is no doctor, think positive, meditate" and just sadly going silent for she just don't know I helplessly went quiet. 


I decided to read my "Keep Calm and Pray" book. After that I did a little meditation with some temple bell music on Youtube and I day dream something that makes me happy. I basically gave up on the panic attack thing. I went outside to guard my Mom while she clean the van out. When you have a panic attack you tend to not want to go outside. I was startled at first but I manage to go outside. I did it. It was nice. It was after this when I ate my salad. 


So far at this moment I feel almost like myself again. But there are times when I feel startled and panicky causing my mood to change. Like this post is feeling all good now but then maybe another time later I sound all down. Recovering from a panic attack can be short for others but long for another. The ups and downs are no joke. All one can do is just try to relax, get your mind off of it and take it one moment at a time. By doing this you are fighting it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Aggravated that my assistant produce manager was getting on to me after one hour already. Apparently, I don't work fast enough. They expect to work me like a slave. If they expect me to work hard then everyone else should or no one should have to. And they should give me a better raise than a measly ten cents. That's pathetic. Ten cents makes no difference even if you work a 40 hour work week let alone like 25 hours. Also they tell me one thing then tell me to do the opposite of what they say not long after.


----------



## Ekardy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Aggravated that my assistant produce manager was getting on to me after one hour already. Apparently, I don't work fast enough. They expect to work me like a slave. If they expect me to work hard then everyone else should or no one should have to. And they should give me a better raise than a measly ten cents. That's pathetic. Ten cents makes no difference even if you work a 40 hour work week let alone like 25 hours. Also they tell me one thing then tell me to do the opposite of what they say not long after.


Whoa, that sounds stressful, I'm sorry you have to deal with that.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored out of my mind and frustrated as hell.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, but I deserve this.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> Sad, but I deserve this.


What do you think you deserve?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Needy and insecure.


----------



## Crisigv

Pete Beale said:


> What do you think you deserve?


I'm just a bad person and I deserve everything bad.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> I'm just a bad person and I deserve everything bad.


What have you done to be a bad person?


----------



## Crisigv

Pete Beale said:


> What have you done to be a bad person?


I don't know. I'm a coward and can't live for myself. I must have done something horrible to be so messed up.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> I don't know. I'm a coward and can't live for myself. I must have done something horrible to be so messed up.


Did your parents criticize you a lot growing up?


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh, just meh


----------



## 0589471

funnynihilist said:


> Meh, just meh


:squeeze meh spelled backwards is hem.


----------



## funnynihilist

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> :squeeze meh spelled backwards is hem.


Well they lay down beside me, I made my confession to them.
They touched both my eyes and I touched the dew on their hem.
If your life is a leaf that the seasons tear off and condemn
They will bind you with love that is graceful and green as a stem.


----------



## 0589471

funnynihilist said:


> Well they lay down beside me, I made my confession to them.
> They touched both my eyes and I touched the dew on their hem.
> If your life is a leaf that the seasons tear off and condemn
> They will bind you with love that is graceful and green as a stem.


That is beautiful funyin


----------



## funnynihilist

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> That is beautiful funyin


I wish I had wrote it


----------



## Crisigv

Pete Beale said:


> Did your parents criticize you a lot growing up?


Yeah


----------



## 0589471

Losing the star without a sky
losing the reasons why
Losing the calling you've been faking
And I'm not kidding
It's damned if you don't, 
it's damned if you do
be true 'cus they'll lock you up 
in a sad sad zoo
Metal heart you're not hiding
metal heart you're not worth a thing


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Starving


----------



## kesker

Crevitzled


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> Yeah


Telling you you were a bad person, nit picking at everything you do?

Do you think your parents have issues? So many people have mentally ill parents, or parents with personality disorders, or traits.

People just keep passing on mental health issues, generation after generation. :frown2:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Feel like **** as usual. Absolutely no idea what to do about anything. 

Wish it hadn't gone wrong with her. Completely lost with out her and cannot move on at all. Life feels so empty having no one who cares about you, and no one or nothing you care about.


----------



## Graeme1988

Feeling kinda naff lately.


----------



## funnynihilist

Another day in my cell...


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> Another day in my cell...


Me too.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SamanthaStrange said:


> Me too.


Great isn't it?

I used great again, sorry. lol.

Last time I went to the zoo I commented on how some of the animals have a better life than some of us humans. Caged, but they're looked after and have partners, kids. No worries at all and no loneliness. It was me who's the cage one, more so than them. I was jealous of a couple of spider monkeys hugging and grooming each other in their pretty big enclosure, ffs. lol


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Ekardy said:


> Whoa, that sounds stressful, I'm sorry you have to deal with that.


Yea, it does get stressful at times. Especially doing something new and already being rushed the first day I do it.


----------



## funnynihilist

Had a big coffee now I have a stummy ache. I'm wondering if it was too old, seemed extra bitter.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> Had a big coffee now I have a stummy ache. I'm wondering if it was too old, seemed extra bitter.


You're the only other person I've ever known who says 'stummy ache' hehe.

Also, extra bitter is me lately. :bah :lol


----------



## funnynihilist

SamanthaStrange said:


> You're the only other person I've ever known who says 'stummy ache' hehe.
> 
> Also, extra bitter is me lately. :bah


My stum! Haha

Yeah, I've been feeling extra bitter as well. Not that there has been much lately to be happy about. So far 2019 has been an exercise in dank.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

funnynihilist said:


> Had a big coffee now I have a stummy ache. I'm wondering if it was too old, seemed extra bitter.


I drank some old out of date coffee not long back. Murdered my stomach and coated the bog bowl many times that night. :flush


----------



## funnynihilist

Pete Beale said:


> I drank some old out of date coffee not long back. Murdered my stomach and coated the bog bowl many times that night. :flush


This was from McDonald's and it was frothy and entering the sludge stage. Probably shouldn't have drank it.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

So drained for a lot of the last couple of days. Really mentally foggy and lethargic and right now also really tired.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

funnynihilist said:


> This was from McDonald's and it was frothy and entering the sludge stage. Probably shouldn't have drank it.


Got the old dregs from the bottom by the sounds. Don't know how long it's been in there for.

Mine was unopened vac packed ground beans from this fancy small coffee chain. Freshly brewed but gave me a really bad stomach. Was a few months out of date but they do really good coffee and wanted to try it. Thought it would be ok.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Persephone The Dread said:


> So drained for a lot of the last couple of days. Really mentally foggy and lethargic and right now also really tired.


Felt like that for months. :serious:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

So tired of the loneliness making me feel like ****. Just one day where I didn't feel like this, just one to get some ****ing relief.


----------



## BeautyandRage

Hyper


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Angry, pathetic, hopeless


----------



## Crisigv

Pathetic


----------



## funnynihilist

Stomach is gurgling


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am feeling okay at the moment, had a long day out with mom.



Canadian Brotha said:


> Angry, pathetic, hopeless


Hang in there my friend.


----------



## 0589471

massive headache, tired, disappointed


----------



## WillYouStopDave

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> massive headache, tired, disappointed


 I don't have a massive headache but I do have one. If I was tired I could at least try to go to sleep and hope to sleep it off (which never actually works for me).


----------



## MondKrabbe

Tired, restless, annoyed. I'm sick of work.


----------



## 3stacks

Mehh


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Going to a meet but no idea why as I'll be here, this time tomorrow, feeling like crap again anyway.


----------



## Michael1983

Pete Beale said:


> Going to a meet but no idea why as I'll be here, this time tomorrow, feeling like crap again anyway.


A meetup group? I go to those occasionally, they can be great places to meet and make new friends. It can be quite difficult to go when you don't know anyone but I've generally found them welcoming.


----------



## tea111red

tired....... didn't sleep enough. having trouble falling back asleep.


----------



## andy1984

tea111red said:


> tired....... didn't sleep enough. having trouble falling back asleep.


can't sleep either :/


----------



## JerryAndSports

Pretty good


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Michael1983 said:


> A meetup group? I go to those occasionally, they can be great places to meet and make new friends. It can be quite difficult to go when you don't know anyone but I've generally found them welcoming.


Yeah

Spent a few hours out today, met some old and new people. I enjoy it, but I don't at the same time. It's just that this isn't really what I want to do. Would rather spend time with one person I'm close to.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> massive headache, tired, disappointed


Hang in there my friend.:hug:squeeze


----------



## 0589471

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Hang in there my friend.:hug:squeeze


:squeeze Thanks


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely.


----------



## Citrine79

after a couple of decent, almost good days...I am back to miserable. Feeling especially sad and alone right now and I cannot sleep.


----------



## Michael1983

Pete Beale said:


> Michael1983 said:
> 
> 
> 
> A meetup group? I go to those occasionally, they can be great places to meet and make new friends. It can be quite difficult to go when you don't know anyone but I've generally found them welcoming.
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah
> 
> Spent a few hours out today, met some old and new people. I enjoy it, but I don't at the same time. It's just that this isn't really what I want to do. Would rather spend time with one person I'm close to.
Click to expand...

It's good you went. I can relate about wanting to find someone to be particularly close with. I just hang out with groups of people. It's socialising but I find it hard to connect with people one on one. That would be nice.

It can feel lonely in groups sometimes...


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Michael1983 said:


> It's good you went. I can relate about wanting to find someone to be particularly close with. I just hang out with groups of people. It's socialising but I find it hard to connect with people one on one. That would be nice.
> 
> It can feel lonely in groups sometimes...


I had times where I felt lonely yesterday. It's because I don't have anyone I can be my true self around. No one truly knows me.

I don't know how much longer I can keep these up for tbh. I'm going to run out of things to say at some point and don't want to sit around like some people, barely saying anything and just listening.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Feel miserable and hopeless again today. I don't enjoy anything, not enough money, and can't stop missing her. Wtf do I do? 

Sometimes I panic so much over my age and situation I feel like just ending it all.


----------



## SparklingWater

Dealing with this is so much harder than I ever imagined. But I'm glad I'm out there doing it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not sure really. 

A customer at work harassed me and practically forced a kiss on my lips. I'm going to tell the manager but it might be better to tell them when I see him again. I just don't want to be humiliated or have them not believe me. I'm sure I have to have proof he harassed me and I don't want to get fired. On average, I see him like once a month. And he said he's starting to fall for me. Wtf.


----------



## Maslow

Out of shape. I need to start eating better.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Thoroughly ****ed off with my existence. 

Boredom and loneliness no matter what I do. Nothing ever hits the spot. There's never any contentment. 

The only person who could make me feel so much better can't/won't. 

Just no point being here, forcing everything all the time.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Hungry.


----------



## Replicante

Tired


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Full of food.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I shouldn't had ate that ice cream.


----------



## SofaKing

Despondent, desperate, depressed, dejected, and de-something else too.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cold. :bah

Drained.


----------



## Ekardy

SamanthaStrange said:


> Cold. :bah
> 
> Drained.


Same.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Despondent, desperate, depressed, dejected, and de-something else too.


:rub


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry for a snack, and annoyed at my tinnitus getting to me again. 



Ekardy said:


> Same.





SamanthaStrange said:


> Cold. :bah
> Drained.


"hugs to you both"


----------



## Ekardy

@iAmCodeMonkey :squeeze


----------



## 0589471

tired.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Headache. Annoyed. Depressed. Anxious. 

Misery, misery, misery, misery.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I hope everyone will feel better. 
Be like this sun. Be strong
Take the weight off: )


----------



## SparklingWater

Good. Hopeful. This is difficult, this is scary AND this is healing. Tiptoeing out of comfort zones and taking small, progressive risks is always scary. Now that I finally have that secure foundation to lean on everything else seems manageable. Vulnerability is a good thing. It's where the connection lives.


----------



## Citrine79

I have a case of the Mondays. My brief glimmer of positivity is fading fast. I am
moody, not motivated in any way to work and just all around miserable. Oh and there is snow on the ground and its 23 freaking degrees on April 1...which is also adding to my misery today.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Fun Spirit

Like I been picked up by the teeth of a horse from my collar, thrown on it's back, went on a wild horse ride with kicking and bucking and runing at top speed until the Bronco finally throws me off to which I land flat on my butt really hard with the horse neighing a laugh. In fear I run behind a bush looking from afar.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Ill with depression and wanting to talk to someone. I know I'd feel relief if I got to talk to someone. Talking to others doesn't help take away the pain.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> Ill with depression and wanting to talk to someone. I know I'd feel relief if I got to talk to someone. Talking to others doesn't help take away the pain.


I hope you can find relief from your pain of missing her, man. I know that feeling too.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I hope you can find relief from your pain of missing her, man. I know that feeling too.


Sick of feeling ill. Feels like I'm in withdrawal all the time. I spoke to a guy at the meet who's wife left him, and we spoke about Keith Flints death, and how he begged his wife to come back but she wouldn't. Three years later and he still can't get over his wife leaving. It's very difficult losing anyone you're close to, especially when it's so had to make other connections. I guess I have lots of buddies now and people to open up to, but I still feel so alone. Only her ever took away the loneliness.


----------



## Ekardy

Feeling a lot better today compared to yesterday. 
Last night was a dark place...literally and figuratively.


----------



## discopotato

abandoned


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Hungry.


----------



## 3stacks

Too depressed


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That food over there must be put in belly.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Better as mulitasking with food entering belly and typing on forum.

A two hand operation.


----------



## 3stacks

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Better as mulitasking with food entering belly and typing on forum.
> 
> A two hand operation.


 That better be the only thing you're doing with them two hands muhaha


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

I still have my feet and third leg handy.


----------



## 3stacks

:lol


----------



## C137

Sad and lonley


----------



## Persephone The Dread

the weird drained slow mo thing that's been here for about a week is still here.

And I feel intermittently bleak and hollow as well.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not bad today. I got a 10 dollar tip from a customer. I know I'm not supposed to take tips so I just said no I don't need it then accepted it when he told me to take it. If I was a cashier or if the managers were around, I'm sure I'd get in trouble but I don't see how they'd know. Lol I haven't gotten a tip since I got 2 tips as a bagger. It shouldn't be the company's business if a customer wants to give an employee tips. That should be up to the customer. They offered.


----------



## Crisigv

My legs are super restless after a long day on my feet. I have to be up early again and I know they're going to keep me up.


----------



## Fever Dream

Annoyed. At least I was in the process of switching debit cards.


----------



## 3stacks

As someone who gets depressed, anxious and suicidal a lot this is honestly the worst I have ever felt. I feel like I could have killed myself at any minute. So now I'm in a hospital waiting room (waiting time approximately 1 year) feeling like I just want to die. I don't know how I can get through this without committing suicide. I hope I can start feeling better but damn it doesn't feel like it.


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> As someone who gets depressed, anxious and suicidal a lot this is honestly the worst I have ever felt. I feel like I could have killed myself at any minute. So now I'm in a hospital waiting room (waiting time approximately 1 year) feeling like I just want to die. I don't know how I can get through this without committing suicide. I hope I can start feeling better but damn it doesn't feel like it.


aw, 3stacks.....i hope you get through this.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Like I need more food, yummy.


----------



## CNikki

Oddly calm. Some things aren’t worth fighting over.


----------



## 3stacks

tea111red said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> As someone who gets depressed, anxious and suicidal a lot this is honestly the worst I have ever felt. I feel like I could have killed myself at any minute. So now I'm in a hospital waiting room (waiting time approximately 1 year) feeling like I just want to die. I don't know how I can get through this without committing suicide. I hope I can start feeling better but damn it doesn't feel like it.
> 
> 
> 
> aw, 3stacks.....i hope you get through this.
Click to expand...

 :hug Thanks tea aka my favourite sas member haha. It means a lot though


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Feeling a lot better today compared to yesterday.
> Last night was a dark place...literally and figuratively.


I read your post about that last night. Good to hear you are feeling better now. :hug:squeeze


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> :hug Thanks tea aka my favourite sas member haha. It means a lot though


yeah, hang in there.  i would make a joke about canned beans or something, but i dunno. lol. anyway, hope you get some direction when it comes to your life soon. :squeeze


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I read your post about that last night. Good to hear you are feeling better now. :hug:squeeze


Thank you monkey. :squeeze


----------



## Memories of Silence

My dog just had to be put to sleep.  I knew it would be soon, but I thought there would be a few more months. It's never going to be the same here without him. I'm glad he's not suffering anymore, and that he and his little brother are together again. I'll love them both forever.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Silent Memory said:


> My dog just had to be put to sleep.  I knew it would be soon, but I thought there would be a few more months. It's never going to be the same here without him. I'm glad he's not suffering anymore, and that he and his little brother are together again. I'll love them both forever.


I am so sorry!  :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Silent Memory said:


> My dog just had to be put to sleep.  I knew it would be soon, but I thought there would be a few more months. It's never going to be the same here without him. I'm glad he's not suffering anymore, and that he and his little brother are together again. I'll love them both forever.


Awww. :hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Silent Memory said:


> [colod=deeppink]My dog just had to be put to sleep.  I knew it would be soon, but I thought there would be a few more months. It's never going to be the same here without him. I'm glad he's not suffering anymore, and that he and his little brother are together again. I'll love them both forever.[/color]


I'm sorry for your loss, it's very hard losing pets. :squeeze


----------



## Memories of Silence

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am so sorry!  :hug :squeeze





Mondo_Fernando said:


> Awww. :hug





SamanthaStrange said:


> I'm sorry for your loss, it's very hard losing pets. :squeeze


Thanks, everyone. :squeeze He was my first dog, and we had him for nearly 12 years. I'm glad it was peaceful for him. We took him to the vet two years ago today after we thought he had a stroke (he didn't), so I think April 2 was always meant to be his day. We had two years more than I thought.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Silent Memory said:


> Thanks, everyone. :squeeze He was my first dog, and we had him for nearly 12 years. I'm glad it was peaceful for him.


Aww!


----------



## 3stacks

tea111red said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Thanks tea aka my favourite sas member haha. It means a lot though
> 
> 
> 
> yeah, hang in there.  i would make a joke about canned beans or something, but i dunno. lol. anyway, hope you get some direction when it comes to your life soon.
Click to expand...

 Well at least you thinking of canned beans made me smile while I'm waiting here haha. Thank you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Silent Memory said:


> Thanks, everyone. :squeeze He was my first dog, and we had him for nearly 12 years. I'm glad it was peaceful for him. We took him to the vet two years ago today after we thought he had a stroke (he didn't), so I think April 2 was always meant to be his day. We had two years more than I thought.


You're welcome. :hug

R.I.P Mr T.


----------



## rockyraccoon

Silent Memory said:


> My dog just had to be put to sleep.  I knew it would be soon, but I thought there would be a few more months. It's never going to be the same here without him. I'm glad he's not suffering anymore, and that he and his little brother are together again. I'll love them both forever.


I's so very sorry to hear of your dog's passing. When I was in university I was super depressed and it was my birthday and my little sister sent me an envelope and in it was a picture of our dog. It was the best gift I have ever received. You can't put a price on the love my sister and I had for our dog.

When my dog passed away the nurse gave us the following poem:

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

My heart goes out to you:hug


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> Well at least you thinking of canned beans made me smile while I'm waiting here haha. Thank you.


----------



## Memories of Silence

rockyraccoon said:


> I's so very sorry to hear of your dog's passing. When I was in university I was super depressed and it was my birthday and my little sister sent me an envelope and in it was a picture of our dog. It was the best gift I have ever received. You can't put a price on the love my sister and I had for our dog.
> 
> When my dog passed away the nurse gave us the following poem:
> 
> Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
> 
> When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
> 
> All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
> 
> They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
> 
> You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
> 
> Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
> 
> Author unknown...
> 
> My heart goes out to you:hug


Thanks. :squeeze It's very nice that your sister sent you a photo of your dog, and photos and nice memories are always nice to have when you miss them. That's a good poem, so thanks for posting it. 

Toby would have been 16 in June (we think he might have been older) and he didn't have any illnesses except for old age, which makes me happy to know, so I try to keep thinking of things like that. It's already too quiet here without him.


----------



## 3stacks

Scared since I'm being admitted plus it's quite far from home but hopefully it helps and I get better or at least not trying to kill myself


----------



## 3stacks

Silent Memory said:


> Thanks, everyone.  He was my first dog, and we had him for nearly 12 years. I'm glad it was peaceful for him. We took him to the vet two years ago today after we thought he had a stroke (he didn't), so I think April 2 was always meant to be his day. We had two years more than I thought.


 Sorry to hear that! :hug


----------



## 3stacks

Stupid since I messed the quote up and don't know how to fix it lol.


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> Scared since I'm being admitted plus it's quite far from home but hopefully it helps and I get better or at least not trying to kill myself


hope you get some benefit out of being there. :rub


----------



## 3stacks

tea111red said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Scared since I'm being admitted plus it's quite far from home but hopefully it helps and I get better or at least not trying to kill myself
> 
> 
> 
> hope you get some benefit out of being there.
Click to expand...

 yeah I'm really hoping so too. I'd just like to not feel suicidal I guess.


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> yeah I'm really hoping so too. I'd just like to not feel suicidal I guess.


yeah...hope you can think better about yourself, too.....see your good qualities and value and stuff.


----------



## 3stacks

tea111red said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> yeah I'm really hoping so too. I'd just like to not feel suicidal I guess.
> 
> 
> 
> yeah...hope you can think better about yourself, too.....see your good qualities and value and stuff.
Click to expand...

 Thanks Tea! I'm really hoping so.


----------



## 3stacks

deetzy said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Scared since I'm being admitted plus it's quite far from home but hopefully it helps and I get better or at least not trying to kill myself
> 
> 
> 
> I hope all goes well.
> Not just saying that, I genuinely mean it.
Click to expand...

 :hug Thank you! I appreciate it.


----------



## tea111red

@Silent Memory

sorry to hear about your dog.


----------



## RayMann11

Meh


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

3stacks said:


> Scared since I'm being admitted plus it's quite far from home but hopefully it helps and I get better or at least not trying to kill myself


Oh man! I hope you get the help you need.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sad.


----------



## Crisigv

Not so great


----------



## funnynihilist

SamanthaStrange said:


> Sad.


Me too. There is nothing left. I can't live in this world.


----------



## SofaKing

Every day is an exercise about banging my head against the wall.

I vary the wall, the pace, and intensity as needed.


----------



## 3stacks

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Scared since I'm being admitted plus it's quite far from home but hopefully it helps and I get better or at least not trying to kill myself
> 
> 
> 
> Oh man! I hope you get the help you need.
Click to expand...

 thanks mate


----------



## Musicfan

3stacks said:


> Scared since I'm being admitted plus it's quite far from home but hopefully it helps and I get better or at least not trying to kill myself


 Hope it goes okay and works out in the end.


----------



## Suchness

3stacks said:


> Scared since I'm being admitted plus it's quite far from home but hopefully it helps and I get better or at least not trying to kill myself


Hopefully it helps. You know we all love you on here.


----------



## kesker

progressless


----------



## SparklingWater

* *




Frustrated with how numb I feel. Dissociation has its uses. When things are far too overwhelming it can serve as a protective buffer til the system is ready to process things. I'm glad I know what's triggered this episode. That's a huge step forward. But I feel ready to process ****. I'm so impatient. It feels like there's a huge wall of grief inaccessible to me. It's there but I have a wall up protecting me from it. I'm scared if I start crying I'll never stop so I get why I can't access it just yet, but I'm ****ing impatient. I'll prob do some journaling tomorrow around that super touchy subject so I can release some of it from my system.

I'm so sensitive to overwhelming myself recently. Think I overdid it the last few days. Gonna dial it back a bit so I'm only giving myself what I can handle. I really do need to be gentler with myself and give myself credit. I'm doing a lot and I've come a long way. Gotta practice that loving and nuturing part of myself. Give myself that gentleness, humor, love and respect I've missed out on. I'm doing so very well and I have to remember that. I'm ok just as I am. The work I do is so I can live the life I want, but as a human being, this me, right here, right now, exactly as I am, is acceptable and more than enough.


----------



## funnynihilist

I think its time I stop fighting the isolated life and embrace it, or probably better to feel ambivalent about it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Like full with food in belly.


----------



## andy1984

i feel great lol. my last bout of depression seems to have ended. sleeping is fun. resting is pretty good. i'm happy even doing nothing. i wish it could stay like this. i started staying away from my friend, and a lot of negativity has been avoided. sometimes i just smile for no reason.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

andy1984 said:


> i feel great lol. my last bout of depression seems to have ended. sleeping is fun. resting is pretty good. i'm happy even doing nothing. i wish it could stay like this. i started staying away from my friend, and a lot of negativity has been avoided. sometimes i just smile for no reason.


Good to hear!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored. Tired of life.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Dangerously numb... yet again.



SamanthaStrange said:


> Bored. Tired of life.


 :hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug


Thanks.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks.


No problem madam.


----------



## funnynihilist

Two things you can count on in 2019 America: incompetence and nastiness


----------



## PandaBearx

Sleepy


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Hungry

Not the country.


----------



## donistired

May I die in my sleep.


----------



## tea111red

a w a k e.


----------



## funnynihilist

tea111red said:


> a w a k e.


Yeah me too unfortunately


----------



## tea111red

still awake. :/


----------



## Fever Dream

funnynihilist said:


> Two things you can count on in 2019 America: incompetence and nastiness


To be fair, you can usually count on both of those at just about anytime, and anywhere.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Now full after hungry.


----------



## Michael1983

3stacks said:


> Scared since I'm being admitted plus it's quite far from home but hopefully it helps and I get better or at least not trying to kill myself


Best of luck. Although, I've never been admitted to hospital itself I was required to go to a day unit for two weeks and it helped. It gave me some respite and I was around other people which took me away from the isolation and depression I felt. I hope it helps you and you start to feel better again. &#128522;


----------



## funnynihilist

Fever Dream said:


> To be fair, you can usually count on both of those at just about anytime, and anywhere.


Yeah but things is getting real bad out there.


----------



## 0589471

3stacks said:


> Stupid since I messed the quote up and don't know how to fix it lol.


I fixed it for you  and I hope for good things for you :squeeze take good care.


----------



## Memories of Silence

3stacks said:


> Sorry to hear that! :hug


Thanks. :squeeze I hope everything will go well for you, and that it helps you.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Blah.


----------



## 3stacks

3stacks said:


> thanks mate





Musicfan69 said:


> Hope it goes okay and works out in the end.





Suchness said:


> Hopefully it helps. You know we all love you on here.





Michael1983 said:


> Best of luck. Although, I've never been admitted to hospital itself I was required to go to a day unit for two weeks and it helped. It gave me some respite and I was around other people which took me away from the isolation and depression I felt. I hope it helps you and you start to feel better again. &#128522;





A Toxic Butterfly said:


> I fixed it for you  and I hope for good things for you :squeeze take good care.





Silent Memory said:


> Thanks. :squeeze I hope everything will go well for you, and that it helps you.


Damnn, thanks everyone I really appreciate it!


----------



## funnynihilist

Are they treating you well? Mr @3stacks


----------



## 3stacks

funnynihilist said:


> Are they treating you well? Mr @3stacks


They're giving me drugs so you could say they are haha. It would be nice if they let me have my phone charger but they can't /forum/images/SAS_2015/smilies/tango_face_sad.png. I think I was lucky to be admitted to this one for free because it's quite big and posh lol
Edit: Also they don't have internet so I'm using my crappy mobile data


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@3stacks So what happens when your phone dies? :um

What kind of stuff do they have you doing, besides drugs? :lol

Big, and posh, and free, definitely not happening in America.


----------



## funnynihilist

3stacks said:


> They're giving me drugs so you could say they are haha. It would be nice if they let me have my phone charger but they can't /forum/images/SAS_2015/smilies/tango_face_sad.png. I think I was lucky to be admitted to this one for free because it's quite big and posh lol
> Edit: Also they don't have internet so I'm using my crappy mobile data


Will the nurses charge it for you at the nurses station?


----------



## funnynihilist

SamanthaStrange said:


> @3stacks
> 
> Big, and posh, and free, definitely not happening in America.


Nope the place would smell like @$$ and would cost $2500 a day haha


----------



## Graeme1988

Just wishing ah could pack up n' f__k off somewhere else. Huv a quiet life... the Shetlands, Canada, ah don't know ! Preferably somewhere that would require travel if my family wanted to see me.

Cuz it f__kin' takes a toll on ye - mental, emotional, physical - when you're huvin' tae deal with other folks problems. More so, if yer family a bunch o' dysfunctional *****es who can't get along or be civilised with each other. It's f__kin' hellish, so it is... arguments aw the time ! But if ah speak up n' say how fed-up with listening to them, it's a different story. Then ah become the bad yin, am who's in the wrong ! :bash

Then they huv the nerve tae say _"Sorry"_ n' go: if something's bothering me, ah should talk about it... _tae them ?! Considering they flee into a rage whenever ah question why it is behave like they do towards each other, they cun f__k right off as far as I'm concerned. Ah don't see the point in saying how I feel, if I'm just gonnae be yelled at n' berated for doing so._


----------



## 3stacks

SamanthaStrange said:


> @3stacks So what happens when your phone dies? :um
> 
> What kind of stuff do they have you doing, besides drugs? :lol
> 
> Big, and posh, and free, definitely not happening in America.


 I've been in my own room all day because I'm too scared to go out and socialise lmao.it seems like everyone has their cliques and I doubt I could fit in with any cause I'm so awkward and don't know what to say lol. I'm even too scared to go down and get food cause there's like 30 other people in the room haha. My social anxiety is super bad so it's kinda scary lol. I think I'm talking about therapy options with a doctor tomorrow. 
(Sorry I wrote so much)


funnynihilist said:


> Will the nurses charge it for you at the nurses station?


Oh yeah that's what theyve been doing for me but it's annoying cause my battery is a bit crap so I keep going back all the time and I don't want to annoy them lol.


----------



## Excaliber

Just returned from the Dominican Republic, had a great time. Not exited about going back to work though.


----------



## Ekardy

Excaliber said:


> Just returned from the Dominican Republic, had a great time. Not exited about going back to work though.


I'm glad to hear you had a great time though.


----------



## tea111red

funnynihilist said:


> Nope the place would smell like @$$ and would cost $2500 a day haha


this is so true, lol.


----------



## Excaliber

Ekardy said:


> I'm glad to hear you had a great time though.


Thanks, the weather was perfect, nice and hot!

Good to see you again


----------



## SamanthaStrange

3stacks said:


> I've been in my own room all day because I'm too scared to go out and socialise lmao.it seems like everyone has their cliques and I doubt I could fit in with any cause I'm so awkward and don't know what to say lol. I'm even too scared to go down and get food cause there's like 30 other people in the room haha. My social anxiety is super bad so it's kinda scary lol. I think I'm talking about therapy options with a doctor tomorrow.
> (Sorry I wrote so much)
> 
> Oh yeah that's what theyve been doing for me but it's annoying cause my battery is a bit crap so I keep going back all the time and I don't want to annoy them lol.


I think most people here would have the same issues. It's like a forced socializing situation, lol. I hope things improve for you.


----------



## SparklingWater

Excited. Super pleased, content. Amazing therapy session today. Sometimes **** just clicks in your head in just the right way and it's like the fog just lifts. Feel like I've been circling this realization for a few months, maybe even a year, and it's oh so satisfying to finally get it. Not the cognitive realization- the full body I know this and feel the truth of it in my bones ****. Ugh so satisfying.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I guess confused. 

My produce manager told me she was crying and her eyes were all teared up so I could tell she was. I didn't know what to say exactly cause didn't think people cried in front of other people like that. I didn't ask if she was okay or anything. I really didn't know what to say. She didn't say anything else after.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Hungry again.

Feed me belly.


----------



## 3 AM

my head hurts


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Full again.


----------



## Michael1983

Sore. I've overdone it at the gym and today my body feels like it's been on one of those torture stretching racks!


----------



## 3stacks

SamanthaStrange said:


> I think most people here would have the same issues. It's like a forced socializing situation, lol. I hope things improve for you.


Yeah I'm still too scared to go and eat haha there's like 30 people in the dining room when we're allowed to eat. I'm like I don't know what to talk about or say to anyone so I'll be so awkward lol. Edit: I also think what if people laugh at how I look lol I'm always paranoid people will make fun of me or bully me for how I look and my huge nose haha


----------



## SparklingWater

Blessed. I didn't fully grasp how much I needed real connection in my life til I actually had it. It's like finally healing a broken leg I've tried to walk on for 32 years. It feels like warmth, fullness and contentment in my body. Feels good. And I still have so much work to do. It can only get better.


----------



## Ekardy

I feel happy one of my appointments went great lol. It was the dentist (no cavities  ) and it's completely unrelated to everything else I'm dealing with but a wins a win.


----------



## SplendidBob

Exhausted, and not in the physical way, in the "I have been dealing with barely manageable stress for 5 months and keep tipping over the edge" way. What's worse is I currently have some of the things I wanted (nice girlfriend, doing well on degree, more friends), but each thing just seems to open a box of new issues I am not capable of managing. 

"Normal life" seems to be well within the range of other people, and it's all I want, but for me its just waves of stress and problems within problems. 

So I feel tired.


----------



## copper

Very tired from driving over 200 miles to pick my dad up from the hospital to take him home.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

One second older.

The pain, the anguish.

Excuse my english, winglish, blinguish.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Creeped out. 

I was only like ten minutes from where I live on my way home from work and I saw a long clump of hair. I couldn't tell if it was fake or not, though. I'm not sure if I should report that to the police. I'd feel stupid as hell but in cases like that guess you have to assume the worst. It was literally like right beside the road but not on the road. So, I'm guessing if someone killed someone they wouldn't just leave evidence that visible. That's what makes me think it's fake. Well, hope it's fake anyways.

I hate to think so bleakly but better to tell someone than not tell someone I would think.


----------



## CNikki

If I do get bouts of crying spells, it needs to wait until the weekend. It’s not coming soon enough.


----------



## megatheriidae

Starting to feel really gross again, for trying to connect with people and trying to bring whatever's inside me out for people to see. And annoyed that I can't think of a better word than gross at the moment. I want to stop posting for a while but idk if I can manage that.


----------



## farfegnugen

A bit defeatist and dark of late


----------



## SamanthaStrange

farfegnugen said:


> A bit defeatist and dark of late


:squeeze


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Nauseated. I drank some tea that did not agree with my stomach at all! Now I remember why I switched to coffee.


----------



## Michael1983

Ugh.


----------



## harrison

Quite a lot better after talking to a friend of mine. Getting out of my own ridiculous head is very important.


----------



## Citrine79

Wishing I was in a better place right now...physically, mentally and emotionally.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Graeme1988

*P*

Don't know if this say more about me or my family, but my mother just told me she's getting a family photo taken this week and it assumed I won't be going.


----------



## Barakiel

Got sad browsing a thread and seeing posts from someone who I’m not sure is in my life anymore. I think practicing saxophone and talking to someone later will help tho.


----------



## tea111red

indecisive, i suppose.


----------



## 3stacks

megatheriidae said:


> Starting to feel really gross again, for trying to connect with people and trying to bring whatever's inside me out for people to see. And annoyed that I can't think of a better word than gross at the moment. I want to stop posting for a while but idk if I can manage that.


Keep posting here! It's nice to see different names and stuff


----------



## 3stacks

Suicidal still. It's such a horrible feeling to feel no hope at all and when you really just want to die.


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> Suicidal still. It's such a horrible feeling to feel no hope at all and when you really just want to die.


:/ sorry you are still in so much pain.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

3stacks said:


> Suicidal still. It's such a horrible feeling to feel no hope at all and when you really just want to die.


Yes, it is. :blank


----------



## 3stacks

tea111red said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Suicidal still. It's such a horrible feeling to feel no hope at all and when you really just want to die.
> 
> 
> 
> &#128533; sorry you are still in so much pain.
Click to expand...

 :hug thank you! Hopefully it's possible for me to not feel that way eventually. It's just scary though.


SamanthaStrange said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Suicidal still. It's such a horrible feeling to feel no hope at all and when you really just want to die.
> 
> 
> 
> Yes, it is.
Click to expand...

 :hug I'm sorry that you might or might have felt that way before.


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> :hug thank you! Hopefully it's possible for me to not feel that way eventually. It's just scary though.


probably have to meet the right people. i hope you do.

i know how frustrating it is to find the right kind of person or people, though, lol.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

3stacks said:


> :hug I'm sorry that you might or might have felt that way before.


Thanks. Have you talked to your therapist about a treatment plan yet?


----------



## 3stacks

tea111red said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> thank you! Hopefully it's possible for me to not feel that way eventually. It's just scary though.
> 
> 
> 
> probably have to meet the right people. i hope you do.
> 
> i know how frustrating it is to find the right kind of person or people, though, lol.
Click to expand...

 yeah I get that. Feels impossible to meet the right ones lol


SamanthaStrange said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> I'm sorry that you might or might have felt that way before.
> 
> 
> 
> Thanks. Have you talked to your therapist about a treatment plan yet?
Click to expand...

 yeah I've got a treatment plan for group therapy stuff. I did two sessions today and one yesterday. I missed one yesterday cause I was in the shower haha. Although I guess those sessions were basic because it was stuff I already knew. Apparently it was good I missed the one I did because everyone hated the therapist running it haha


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

3stacks said:


> Suicidal still. It's such a horrible feeling to feel no hope at all and when you really just want to die.


 I am sorry you feel that bad man. I know the feeling sadly. I had to see a therapist about it too.


----------



## 3stacks

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Suicidal still. It's such a horrible feeling to feel no hope at all and when you really just want to die.
> 
> 
> 
> I am sorry you feel that bad man. I know the feeling sadly. I had to see a therapist about it too.
Click to expand...

 yeah it's just the worst I can imagine feeling. I wouldn't wish this on anyone so I hope you're feeling ok and that therapy helps you.


----------



## tehuti88

Stupid and annoying. What's new. -_-

Maybe I should be quiet for a while. I always regret it when I get a little too comfortable with speaking up. My "contributions" to threads lately have been crap anyway.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired of everyone and everything. Tired of life. Tired.


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> Suicidal still. It's such a horrible feeling to feel no hope at all and when you really just want to die.


Hope you're alright in there mate. What's it like? I haven't read all your posts for a while so I probably missed something - sorry about that. Did I read somewhere that you're in a fancy place or is it public?

Hopefully one of the meds will help soon, hang in there.


----------



## Suchness

SamanthaStrange said:


> Tired of everyone and everything. Tired of life. Tired.


I could never get tired of you.

Until I do.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Suchness said:


> I could never get tired of you.
> 
> Until I do.


Yeah, exactly. And you will.

I have no one to blame but myself.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit despondent again. Yay.


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> A bit despondent again. Yay.


I'm sorry. 

:squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

tehuti88 said:


> Stupid and annoying. What's new. -_-
> 
> Maybe I should be quiet for a while. I always regret it when I get a little too comfortable with speaking up. My "contributions" to threads lately have been crap anyway.


Nope.

Interesting contributions.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> I'm sorry.
> :squeeze


Thanks. :hug:squeeze


----------



## Suchness

SamanthaStrange said:


> Yeah, exactly. And you will.
> 
> I have no one to blame but myself.


If you did something "wrong" in regards to your personality, mental health, etc then you're not to blame because you didn't know any better at the time. There's no right or wrong when it comes to that kind of thing but degrees of insanity, almost all of us are insane and some not so much. Think of how we trial insane people in court or how we treat children, we're not that much different really.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That want to dance.

Dance to the rising moonlight, candlelight being lit.

Of flaminko.

Yeah, you heard right.


----------



## donistired

Utterly inept at everything I do. Oh well

Guess I'll just not


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Full after just one bowl of stir fry. I used brown rice to cook it. I felt like I ate three bowls. Wtf.

But at least I can save on food that way. I should've cooked the veggies longer. Some of them got soft and some didn't cause I added to them and didn't cook some as long. But now I know what to do next time I cook. I'm getting better at cooking. I might have cooked just a bit too much rice. It's a big pot full of it. Just means I save more. And it's a healthy meal to eat, so a win win.


----------



## harrison

Possibly a little bit too good.


----------



## harrison

Mixed episode.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Flying to the jungle, we are flying to the jungle.

Do, do, do, do.

Feeling goooood.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

And the music to my lyrics.


----------



## 3 AM

awful...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## funnynihilist

Tired, yet not tired.


----------



## Graeme1988

Like I should give up... my words just fall on deaf ears when ah try to help those around me.  :cry

Don’t see the point anymore, wasted too many years o’ ma f__kin’ life trying to be the person my family expected me to be. If ye cun call being forced to be co-dependent a life? They’d be better off if I wasn’t around, anyway. Happier. Since I’ve been seen as nowt but a burden from day 1.


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> Hope you're alright in there mate. What's it like? I haven't read all your posts for a while so I probably missed something - sorry about that. Did I read somewhere that you're in a fancy place or is it public?
> 
> Hopefully one of the meds will help soon, hang in there.


Thanks hopefully I end up feeling better. Yeah it's quite nice here. It's like a hotel room lol, you even get a choice of meals (and they give you a dessert after every one) so I might end up getting fatter in here haha


----------



## Michael1983

Rough. I don't know whether it's due to withdrawal or stress or i've been overdoing it in the gym. Either way, i feel exhausted.


----------



## Michael1983

I don't feel well in my head. I'm scared.


----------



## Suchness

Michael1983 said:


> Rough. I don't know whether it's due to withdrawal or stress or i've been overdoing it in the gym. Either way, i feel exhausted.


What are you withdrawing from?


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> Thanks hopefully I end up feeling better. Yeah it's quite nice here. It's like a hotel room lol, you even get a choice of meals (and they give you a dessert after every one) *so I might end up getting fatter in here haha*


You'll be a BBW MILF in no time mate. (sorry, that was uncalled for) :O

I used to go to one like that years ago - it was like a country club. They had yoga classes and breathing exercises for relaxation each night. Plus quite a few people used to get up to extra-curricular activities as well if you catch my meaning.

Might be best to try and avoid those though - it's frowned upon by management and I know from personal experience it makes it harder to get back in next time. 

Take care anyway mate.


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> You'll be a BBW MILF in no time mate. (sorry, that was uncalled for) :O
> 
> I used to go to one like that years ago - it was like a country club. They had yoga classes and breathing exercises for relaxation each night. Plus quite a few people used to get up to extra-curricular activities as well if you catch my meaning.
> 
> Might be best to try and avoid those though - it's frowned upon by management and I know from personal experience it makes it harder to get back in next time.
> 
> Take care anyway mate.


Haha I think something like that was happening yesterday since I seen people cuddled up in the lounge lol. Oh they do those classes here too but pilates isn't for me lol


----------



## SparklingWater

So mixed up. I've outgrown my cage and am terrified of stepping outside it. Caring and kindness are scary to trust. I'm more used to abuse. It'll take a bit, but I'm up for the challenge.


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> Haha I think something like that was happening yesterday since I seen people cuddled up in the lounge lol. Oh they do those classes here too but pilates isn't for me lol


No I don't think pilates would be for me either.

Do they make you go to classes through the day-time? We used to have to always go to them - some were okay I guess.


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> No I don't think pilates would be for me either.
> 
> Do they make you go to classes through the day-time? We used to have to always go to them - some were okay I guess.


Yeah there's some classes (will try and attach a sample) but they're not compulsory or anything. I missed the CBT one I wanted to go to because I was in the shower haha.


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> Yeah there's some classes (will try and attach a sample) but they're not compulsory or anything. I missed the CBT one I wanted to go to because I was in the shower haha.


That looks fantastic mate - tell them I'm coming over. 

(it's actually funny how so much of that is similar to what our schedule was like. Lots of mindfulness and CBT classes etc)

I actually really got into mindfulness when I was there one time and convinced a lady I was involved with to do it too. She didn't believe me at first but it worked. It actually felt like I'd had a Valium. I should try and do it again.


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> That looks fantastic mate - tell them I'm coming over.
> 
> (it's actually funny how so much of that is similar to what our schedule was like. Lots of mindfulness and CBT classes etc)
> 
> I actually really got into mindfulness when I was there one time and convinced a lady I was involved with to do it too. She didn't believe me at first but it worked. It actually felt like I'd had a Valium. I should try and do it again.


Haha my mom said something similar when she visited she said "can I stay here too?" Lol. Yeah I wanted to do the mindfulness one but my classes only started on Thursday. I did have a lorazepam that day though so maybe the effects were similar haha. Yeah it's probably something you could get into again since it doesn't take up much of the day either.


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> Haha my mom said something similar when she visited she said "can I stay here too?" Lol. Yeah I wanted to do the mindfulness one but my classes only started on Thursday. I did have a lorazepam that day though so maybe the effects were similar haha. Yeah it's probably something you could get into again since it doesn't take up much of the day either.


Yeah, those places can be really nice actually. 

It sounds like it might help you mate - try to go to the psychotherapy ones a bit too plus they'll most likely have individual therapy sessions as well. Plus of course times to see your psychiatrist.

Can make some good friends in those places. I met some lovely people in the one I went to. (almost makes me want to get private health insurance again)


----------



## funnynihilist

It's just a complicated game...


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Pretty annoyed that the woman who says she owns this house and doesn't pay any bills gives me change and some pennies back for the tea I had to buy. She was mad when she gave it to me, too. Like what the hell? Are you serious? Yea, thanks for the pennies Ms. I'm such a princess. She did give me quarters back but I prefer cash and she couldn't even give me cash back for the tea. Lol How can it be her house if she doesn't have to pay bills yet I have to and her bf does. And I know this cause he proudly has told a few people before that she doesn't pay any bills like its such a good thing. Yet, I buy everything for this house like trash bags and toilet paper, etc. This is why whenever I get the chance to, I spend money on me every once in awhile after I pay my bills cause I do pay bills. 

I could tell she did not want to have to pay me back for that tea, which wasn't even for me to pay for. Lol Feels good to let this out. Now, I'm slightly less annoyed. At least I somehow manage my money to where I hardly go broke. Sometimes, Idk how I do it but I do. And that's pretty good if I can do that with all the stuff I had to buy. It's called conserving and it helps. Maybe one day, I really could live on my own with how good I am at conserving.


----------



## 3stacks

Terribly depressed!


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Haha my mom said something similar when she visited she said "can I stay here too?" Lol. Yeah I wanted to do the mindfulness one but my classes only started on Thursday. I did have a lorazepam that day though so maybe the effects were similar haha. Yeah it's probably something you could get into again since it doesn't take up much of the day either.
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah, those places can be really nice actually.
> 
> It sounds like it might help you mate - try to go to the psychotherapy ones a bit too plus they'll most likely have individual therapy sessions as well. Plus of course times to see your psychiatrist.
> 
> Can make some good friends in those places. I met some lovely people in the one I went to. (almost makes me want to get private health insurance again)
Click to expand...

 yeah hopefully it helps. I haven't really socialised because I'm so anxious about it and I honestly have nothing to talk about in social situations. I just never fit in plus I feel like people won't want to talk to me because I'm weird looking or ugly or unattractive or whatever haha.


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> yeah hopefully it helps. I haven't really socialised because I'm so anxious about it and I honestly have nothing to talk about in social situations. I just never fit in plus I feel like people won't want to talk to me because I'm weird looking or ugly or unattractive or whatever haha.


I know you think you don't look good mate but you do. Please try and talk about all that when you see the therapist and even maybe (if you can) when you have group therapy. I guarantee you'll get feedback then the same as we keep telling you on here - that is, that you're a nice-looking guy. (and you don't have a big nose at all - it's just normal) 

As far as the socialising goes - you might get a bit more relaxed about that after you've been there a while and get more used to the place.


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> I know you think you don't look good mate but you do. Please try and talk about all that when you see the therapist and even maybe (if you can) when you have group therapy. I guarantee you'll get feedback then the same as we keep telling you on here - that is, that you're a nice-looking guy. (and you don't have a big nose at all - it's just normal)
> 
> As far as the socialising goes - you might get a bit more relaxed about that after you've been there a while and get more used to the place.


Thank you! Yeah I'm definitely gonna try my best in the therapy sessions and stuff


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Full.


----------



## harrison

More settled and clearer in my head than recently.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hazy & anxious


----------



## kesker

Canadian Brotha said:


> Hazy & anxious


 Hey dude. Hope you feel better.

_Hazy and Anxious._.....I think I'll name an IPA after that.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

kesker said:


> Hey dude. Hope you feel better.
> 
> _Hazy and Anxious._.....I think I'll name an IPA after that.


Hey man, that's an awe idea for a brew name, no doubt


----------



## tea111red

bored.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Disillusioned.


----------



## Shawn81

Exhausted and restless. Anxious. Finding it difficult to post anything online. Haven't in years. Hoping to hear from some old friends here, and make some new ones. Annoyed by how difficult it is to type a message. Worried about going to sleep tonight with how the last several nights have gone. Scatterbrained.


----------



## Citrine79

Not feeling well and can’t sleep right now. The combo of those two things has caused an anxiety spike. Really uncomfortable and uneasy right now.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Half happy but melancholic at the same time. Happy/good feelings make me sad simultaneously...


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely.


----------



## harrison

Exhausted. I can't believe how stressful and horrible one day can actually be. On days like that I feel like I should never go outside again.


----------



## discopotato

Lost


----------



## SofaKing

Annoyed that my neck is starting to hurt again. I really don't want to keep having to go back the chiropractor.


----------



## Michael1983

Suchness said:


> What are you withdrawing from?


Benzos. I feel better today. The anxiety comes and goes. Yesterday I felt completely overwhelmed by it. It was horrible.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I'm not feeling Fun Spirit anymore. I want to be the other name I have in mind. My other social media username.


----------



## Shawn81

Tired. Annoyed that I can't respond to PMs because I don't have enough posts, and can't think of enough things to say.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mixed emotions.


----------



## SofaKing

Taken for granted


----------



## harrison

Michael1983 said:


> Benzos. I feel better today. The anxiety comes and goes. Yesterday I felt completely overwhelmed by it. It was horrible.


Withdrawing from those bloody things is just terrible. The only thing I can say to you is that it eventually stops and you'll feel better - it can take a while though, depending what you were on, how much and for how long.


----------



## CNikki

Annoyed. Mostly at myself.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I want to contact her because I'm so miserable. I just have no idea how I'm supposed to move on. Life is too hard and I've got too much on my mind.


----------



## funnynihilist

2C7CC972DA8 said:


> I want to contact her because I'm so miserable. I just have no idea how I'm supposed to move on. Life is too hard and I've got too much on my mind.


Why all the numbers and letters?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

funnynihilist said:


> Why all the numbers and letters?


Just decided to leave here and change my username to something random. As you can see, it didn't last long.


----------



## xylo

Worrying about a new boss arriving tomorrow. Got a feeling he might be quite a firm hand. I'm worried about all the little changes that I might have to make. Will he still let me listen to headphones? I find change difficult.

I did an autism test today and scored 30, which is mild autism. But I don't want my limitations to make my life smaller. I want to break free from them. So I'm gonna try to keep perspective.

But it's hard sometimes. Sometimes I feel so frighteningly incapable of surviving in the modern world. I worry I'll end up alone. 

I want to get back to my best. I want to keep fighting and growing and trying and opening myself up to life. And with God's help that's what I'm gonna try to do.


----------



## harrison

2C7CC972DA8 said:


> I want to contact her because I'm so miserable. I just have no idea how I'm supposed to move on. Life is too hard and I've got too much on my mind.


One day you're going to meet someone else that makes you feel like she did mate - you just don't know that yet.

Hang in there.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

harrison said:


> One day you're going to meet someone else that makes you feel like she did mate - you just don't know that yet.


Agreed.


----------



## Barakiel

Barakiel said:


> Got sad browsing a thread and seeing posts from someone who I'm not sure is in my life anymore. I think practicing saxophone and talking to someone later will help tho.


I'm not really the kind of person who learns from my mistakes.


----------



## Crisigv

Extremely depressed


----------



## Graeme1988

_Fandabbydozy !!_ My older sister just slagged me and our mother (and the whole family pretty much) in a Facebook post. Saying we do nothing for her. Despite all our lives being hellish these past couple years because of everything we've done for her. And by _"nothing"_ that includes:


Mum babysitting her grandchildren (my nieces)
Me having to babysit because my nieces know which room upstairs is mine. And they'd rather spend time with me than their own mother. But then she spend more time on her smartphone than she does interacting with her wee 'uns.
Our mother cooking dinner whenever my older sister and her kids come to visit
Let my older sister move back home, with her kids and stay with our mother and me, after her marital breakup

I briefly consider signing back into ma Facebook account _(something I rarely do)_ and respond to her post by saying: _"Hi ! Huv ah ever telt you that ah think you're a c_%*? No? So, this'll be the first time, then?"_


----------



## funnynihilist

There is no escape from any of it. Same old demons year after year.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> There is no escape from any of it. Same old demons year after year.


This.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Chronic loneliness and being a slave to money. That's all life is.

I would actually be alright with the money I get now if I could find someone who empathized with my situation. I only care about lack of money because it bothers other people. 

There's nothing I want other than some good company, but good company wants me to join society and work myself into a suicidal state 40 hours a week again.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I don't do anything with my life.

I don't know how people who have to work 40 hours a week feeling like this, do it!

I think I've been kept alive by my folks and the tax payer. Without them, I don't know what the hell would have happened to me.


----------



## harrison

Half asleep.


----------



## tea111red

anxious to overcome stuff already.


----------



## SofaKing

Ominous chest discomfort. Hmm...problems solved?


----------



## SocialAnxietyAndMe

I feel really good today to be honest. Had a good nights sleep for a change.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L




----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I barley set my alarm, but I just feel like smashing it up because it's the first thing I see when I open my damn eyes.


----------



## tea111red

kind of sore.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> kind of sore.


I was sore from attending that meet, where I just strolled around the city and sat around, because I hadn't done **** all for a few weeks. Took me about 4 day's to recover lol


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> I was sore from attending that meet, where I just strolled around the city and sat around, because I hadn't done **** all for a few weeks. Took me about 4 day's to recover lol


haha. yeah....that happened to me before. walked around a city for 6 hrs when i wasn't used to it. took me a few days to recover. i did it again the next week and i don't think i felt sore.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> haha. yeah....that happened to me before. walked around a city for 6 hrs when i wasn't used to it. took me a few days to recover. i did it again the next week and i don't think i felt sore.


Most sore I've ever been is when I first started lifting weights. I was pretty sore after a 5 day backpacking trip once as well.

I wish my pecker suffered from soreness a lot. That's the best sort of soreness you can get I reckon. :b


----------



## Crisigv

Overwhelmed


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Most sore I've ever been is when I first started lifting weights. I was pretty sore after a 5 day backpacking trip once as well.
> 
> I wish my pecker suffered from soreness a lot. That's the best sort of soreness you can get I reckon. :b


lol :no


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> lol :no


You're no different to me, girl. :wink2: :b


----------



## SplendidBob

Ugh


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> You're no different to me, girl. :wink2: :b


it really actually takes a lot for me to be attracted to someone in that way. though, i guess i have a strong desire to feel that way towards someone. there is just no one....that is frustrating. :stu


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> it really actually takes a lot for me to be attracted to someone in that way. though, i guess i have a strong desire to feel that way towards someone. there is just no one....that is frustrating. :stu


Feel exactly the same. :frown2: I find it so hard to fancy someone, and if I do, they don't lol.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Feel exactly the same. :frown2: I find it so hard to fancy someone, and if I do, they don't lol.


yeah. sooooooooooooooooooooo damn frustrating.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I still have some sense of humour left but I feel dreadful. I read that thread about people still being able to laugh even though they've felt depressed, even suicidal for ages. Even when I do laugh, or enjoy something like a nice meal, I still have this feeling inside of me that taints it all.

I feel like **** now. I feel ill. Missing her never ends. I feel the withdrawal many months later because she was literally the only thing that genuinely made me feel happy and a sense of relief. I am still addicted to her. I feel a slight lump in my throat and a sense of hollowness at the bottom of my chest, almost all the time. I feel that feeling where you want to sigh, almost all the time. It's so draining feeling this for months on end and even worse when I have to deal with the crippling depression where you feel much worse and paralyzed.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> yeah. sooooooooooooooooooooo damn frustrating.


Must be bad for you, interacting with all those sweaty, muscular, aggressive men at your self defense classes. >


----------



## SparklingWater

Frustrated and impatient re: this work situation. Really good mood otherwise.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Must be bad for you, interacting with all those sweaty, muscular, aggressive men at your self defense classes. >


haha.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> haha.


I'm meeting another woman. Nothing will come of it though, I'm sure, especially a sore pecker. Probably just further bruising to my ego. lol


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> I'm meeting another woman. Nothing will come of it though, I'm sure, especially a sore pecker. Probably just further bruising to my ego. lol


someone you got along w/ at a meet?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> someone you got along w/ at a meet?


Met her a couple of times and spoke to her a bit. Can't say I got along with her as I've barley spoken to her. I'm not sure what I'm doing again, but it's this or nothing. I'm a bit worried because of her history, but I need to do something as options to meet people are so limited. She might pull out yet. I was going to meet her last year, but it never happened. Things a bit different now so we'll see if she pulls out or not.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Feeling okay-ish, having a coffee after enjoying some Miso soup. My blind eye is aching again, better put my eyedrops in later on this afternoon.


----------



## unemployment simulator

well looks like changes are afoot, coming off anti depressants because they don't work, I am not depressed in the psychiatrist's opinion. which is what I suspected. its a combination of personality disorder and mental health issues which displays as social anxiety/depression. their opinion is that its agoraphobia combined with a mixture of cluster A disorders. so I now need to structure my life in accordance with this. I feel ok about this, something needs to change as I feel I have been going around in circles confused af.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Met her a couple of times and spoke to her a bit. Can't say I got along with her as I've barley spoken to her. I'm not sure what I'm doing again, but it's this or nothing. I'm a bit worried because of her history, but I need to do something as options to meet people are so limited. She might pull out yet. I was going to meet her last year, but it never happened. Things a bit different now so we'll see if she pulls out or not.


be sure to update, haha.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Feeling okay-ish, having a coffee after enjoying some Miso soup. My blind eye is aching again, better put my eyedrops in later on this afternoon.


Sorry to hear about your eye.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> be sure to update, haha.


I'll update you until she ghosts me, which won't be long. :b


----------



## 3stacks

Kinda emotional and also it's boiling in here. It's only been a week but I didn't realise how much I missed my family until they came to visit me. We were just joking about when my brother wanted to be a dinosaur called "spike" haha


----------



## Ekardy

It’s getting hotter here....:bah
I got some good news today so really happy on that end.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely. In pain. Bored. Sad about some things.


----------



## thomasjune

A little storm cut the power off in my neighborhood so I'm sitting here waiting for my lights to come back on. Besides that I'm feeling ok.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That had a good and bad day.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Time for my eyedrops, lol.


PurplePeopleEater said:


> Sorry to hear about your eye.


 I have specific drops for it versus my good eye (the one that can "see" lol) which help. It has a thin layer of calcium over the cornea which can build up and cause pain if I stop putting the drops in it.


----------



## farfegnugen

Lost someone I grew up with in school that lived near me. Apparently was doing some off-road recreation and killed himself while his girlfriend is in critical condition. I haven't really given him much thought in several years, but it's weird how many people that I know from growing up that have died in all different types of accidents.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

farfegnugen said:


> Lost someone I grew up with in school that lived near me. Apparently was doing some off-road recreation and killed himself while his girlfriend is in critical condition. I haven't really given him much thought in several years, but it's weird how many people that I know from growing up that have died in all different types of accidents.


I am sorry, that must be awful.  :rub


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Time for my eyedrops, lol.
> 
> I have specific drops for it versus my good eye (the one that can "see" lol) which help. It has a thin layer of calcium over the cornea which can build up and cause pain if I stop putting the drops in it.


That sounds uncomfortable but good thing the eye drops help.


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> Kinda emotional and also it's boiling in here. It's only been a week but* I didn't realise how much I missed my family until they came to visit me*. We were just joking about when my brother wanted to be a dinosaur called "spike" haha


I used to feel like that too. It used to really upset me sometimes when my wife would bring my son to visit.

How have things been going in there? Hope you're doing okay.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, anxious.


----------



## komorikun

I'm pooped. Cooking after work is really tiring. Never again.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Tired, anxious.


Hope you're feeling better soon mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Hope you're feeling better soon mate.


Me too. Thank you.


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> I used to feel like that too. It used to really upset me sometimes when my wife would bring my son to visit.
> 
> How have things been going in there? Hope you're doing okay.


Things are going ok I guess. I don't feel any better yet or anything but hopefully I will eventually. It's horrible feeling hopeless about everything.


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> Things are going ok I guess. I don't feel any better yet or anything but hopefully I will eventually. *It's horrible feeling hopeless about everything.*


Yes, it must be. Hang in there mate - hopefully things will get better soon.

Btw - do they give you cake and nice desserts in there? We used to have incredible food in the place I went to a lot. It's almost worth starting up my private health insurance again just to go and get their morning and afternoon teas.


----------



## SparklingWater

Supremely lazy.


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Things are going ok I guess. I don't feel any better yet or anything but hopefully I will eventually. *It's horrible feeling hopeless about everything.*
> 
> 
> 
> Yes, it must be. Hang in there mate - hopefully things will get better soon.
> 
> Btw - do they give you cake and nice desserts in there? We used to have incredible food in the place I went to a lot. It's almost worth starting up my private health insurance again just to go and get their morning and afternoon teas.
Click to expand...

 I hope so. Yeah the food is really good and the cakes are quite nice too. We had a frangipane tart yesterday it was goooood I wanted more lol.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Tired of living with all these problems. I don't know why I'm trying to socialize or why I'm meeting up with this woman, because none of it will end well, because of my problems I can't fix, that no one will empathize with, no matter how much they've suffered themselves. To be accepted would be a miracle. To have a decent job would be a miracle. To not worry all the time, would be a miracle. None of these things are possible.

Please no one quote this.


----------



## Kevin001

Groggy need my coffee or should I say latte.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Woke up too early. :bah


----------



## Karsten

samanthastrange said:


> woke up too early. :bah


cock-a-doodle-dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!


----------



## 0589471

SamanthaStrange said:


> Woke up too early. :bah


 that's for sure since I'm still around. *looks like a zombie and scares Sam away*


----------



## Suchness

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> that's for sure since I'm still around. *looks like a zombie and scares Sam away*


Go to sleep!


----------



## 0589471

Suchness said:


> Go to sleep!


:bah


----------



## Suchness

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> :bah


You're going to pass out soon, aren't you?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mr Marbles?


----------



## Suchness

SamanthaStrange said:


> Mr Marbles?


I'm going to chloroform Mr Marbles after I'm done chloroforming Butterfly.


----------



## SamanthaStrange




----------



## tea111red

on edge and still irritated.


----------



## tea111red

that stupid noise messes w/ my nervous system.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> on edge and still irritated.


Kill him with one of your new martial arts moves. A spinning heel kick, right to the cheeeeen (Spanish for chin).


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Kill him with one of your new martial arts moves. A spinning heel kick, right to the cheeeeen (Spanish for chin).


nah. he is not worth it.

i just wish he'd get the f out of here faster. or just go away. hopefully his gf dumps him.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> nah. he is not worth it.
> 
> i just wish he'd get the f out of here faster. or just go away. hopefully his gf dumps him.


Hopefully he falls off and spreads himself over a highway one day. :b


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@tea111red

I have that same issue with repetitive noise, I think we've talked about it before. I know what you mean about it upsetting your nervous system. :blank

I hope you get some relief soon.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Hopefully he falls off and spreads himself over a highway one day. :b


eeeh. i would probably feel bad if that happened even though i've kind of hoped he'd crash that stupid thing before when very irritated. too bad he just can't not be obnoxious. never encountered someone that runs it that long before leaving every time.

wish i could live in peace.


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> @tea111red
> 
> I have that same issue with repetitive noise, I think we've talked about it before. I know what you mean about it upsetting your nervous system. :blank
> 
> I hope you get some relief soon.


Thanks, Samantha. I do remember you get bothered by noises, too, and I'm glad you understand.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> .
> 
> wish i could live in peace.


Come and live in the mountains with me. >


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> Thanks, Samantha. I do remember you get bothered by noises, too, and I'm glad you understand.


I used to get seriously wound up by noises. When I suffered from hyper vigilance, or PTSD, or whatever it was, I was extremely tense all the time and jumpy. Even the toaster made me jump when the toast popped up lol


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> I used to get seriously wound up by noises. When I suffered from hyper vigilance, or PTSD, or whatever it was, I was extremely tense all the time and jumpy. Even the toaster made me jump when the toast popped up lol


yeah, I think I'm more sensitive to noises (and other sensory stuff) because I have hypervigilance from PTSD, too.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> yeah, I think I'm more sensitive to noises (and other sensory stuff) because I have hypervigilance from PTSD, too.


I was at my worst when I was doing drugs for 18 months in my late teens, when it came to jumpiness. I was taking everything I could get my hands on, and I became so tense and jumpy I had to quit it all. The jumpiness was the main thing that made me stop because it was completely out of control and ridiculous. Every slight noise would startle me.

Now I'm nothing like that, thank god, but there's other issues. I'm too depressed to be arsed to be jumpy anymore lol.


----------



## twitchy666

*my name ain't "You"*

so i cannot answer the question


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> I was at my worst when I was doing drugs for 18 months in my late teens, when it came to jumpiness. I was taking everything I could get my hands on, and I became so tense and jumpy I had to quit it all. The jumpiness was the main thing that made me stop because it was completely out of control and ridiculous. Every slight noise would startle me.
> 
> Now I'm nothing like that, thank god, but there's other issues. I'm too depressed to be arsed to be jumpy anymore lol.


did you do drugs to escape your emotions?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> did you do drugs to escape your emotions?


I didn't even know what SA was back then. I just ended up getting involved with drugs because everyone was doing it and it was just something to do, something to try. I guess I wanted to escape my emotions. I wanted to try something different and was bored. Drugs was the new working class version of drinking. It seemed normal.


----------



## Ekardy

Feeling really self conscious and restless today.


----------



## Maslow

Frustrated. We have a crappy cellphone signal where I live and calls keep dropping. Plus, it seems like the only time I get calls is when I'm in the shower or washing my hands or at other inopportune times. WTF?


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> I didn't even know what SA was back then. I just ended up getting involved with drugs because everyone was doing it and it was just something to do, something to try. I guess I wanted to escape my emotions. I wanted to try something different and was bored. Drugs was the new working class version of drinking. It seemed normal.


boredom.......yeah, that probably left you more vulnerable to trying them.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> boredom.......yeah, that probably left you more vulnerable to trying them.


Was a quick and easy way to feel good, and you're curious to find out how all the different drugs make you feel.

If only we could all take amphetamine and MDMA with no side effects. The world would be a better place lol.


----------



## Karsten

Soooo sleepy.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Karsten said:


> Soooo sleepy.


----------



## twitchy666

SamanthaStrange said:


>


SLEEEP ain't a Location!!!!

Human language never properly taught, Ever

learn it now

beyond mouse 'n' cursor

END-OF-GO-TO GO-TO GO TOOO No click on surluurrrp peep-ho

live non-virtual prettttyyyyy GRRRAPHPGPH HICKCKSS!! INN TA-FACE!!


----------



## kesker

I feel off. Short circuited. Like ants are crawling on me. Went from my usual three hour sleep cycle to two. Amazing what difference an hour makes. Just think if I got 5 hours. I could rule the world (or, at least, my living room).


----------



## EarthDominator

Sick (got the flu), depressed, hopeless and scared of the Summer.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored ****less. Lonely as **** etc etc.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Pete Beale said:


> I used to get seriously wound up by noises. When I suffered from hyper vigilance, or PTSD, or whatever it was, I was extremely tense all the time and jumpy. Even the toaster made me jump when the toast popped up lol


I'm like this, too. I think trauma in my life has made me super aware of noises. I've been like this since I was maybe 11 or 12. I think it must be loud noise phobia or something but don't know if loud noise phobia develops from trauma. That's why I get furious when people try to scare me. It's not funny at all. It hardly happens but my sister's ex bf tried to scare me one time. I jumped and he thought it was funny. I was furiated at that douchebag. I don't like the sound of gunshots cause they make me jumpy from the sound alone.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm like this, too. I think trauma in my life has made me super aware of noises. I've been like this since I was maybe 11 or 12. I think it must be loud noise phobia or something but don't know if loud noise phobia develops from trauma. That's why I get furious when people try to scare me. It's not funny at all. It hardly happens but my sister's ex bf tried to scare me one time. I jumped and he thought it was funny. I was furiated at that douchebag. I don't like the sound of gunshots cause they make me jumpy from the sound alone.


I'm no longer like it. I was on drugs when it first started. It stopped when I quit. Years later when I was hyper vigilant and suffering from what I think might have been Complex PTSD, the jumpiness came back but it was no where near as bad, but I would feel really tense again and get wound up by things too much.

Someone at the last meet I went to had a prank played on her and she did not like it, and me and another guy questioned the guy for doing that at a meet of that nature. I mean I could see the funny side of it, but it probably wasn't the right time and place to pull that sort of prank. I think the guy who did it might be bipolar.


----------



## Graeme1988

The sooner I’m dead, the happier I’ll be. 

F__kin’ sick o’ the dysfunctional $h!%* I have tolerate from my family on an almost daily basis. :bash


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Was a quick and easy way to feel good, and you're curious to find out how all the different drugs make you feel.
> 
> If only we could all take amphetamine and MDMA with no side effects. The world would be a better place lol.


oh, Adderall (taking it w/ a prescription) is about as far as I'd go. I had to stop that for financial reasons. I'm learning to live off it, though. I think, w/ time, I can correct the issues I have that led me to take Adderall.


----------



## SparklingWater

Happy I've gotten used to this haircut. It's not exactly what I wanted, but it does suit me. 2 weeks ago I felt like an ogre. Now I like it. Close enough to what I wanted to pass.


----------



## PandaBearx

Dissociative


----------



## farfegnugen

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am sorry, that must be awful.  :rub


Thanks, man. Appreciate it. 

Kind of sleepy and a bit queasy. I should really exercise some.


----------



## Crisigv

My whole body is really sore.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel really anxious right now. I almost just want to go to bed, but if I do, I'll wake up at like 4am.


----------



## rockyraccoon

SamanthaStrange said:


> I feel really anxious right now. I almost just want to go to bed, but if I do, I'll wake up at like 4am.


Same here. I've been up since around 3 this morning, but I am going to tough it out and stay awake and try to go to sleep at a regular time. I hope your anxiety goes away:squeeze


----------



## Suchness

SamanthaStrange said:


> I feel really anxious right now. I almost just want to go to bed, but if I do, I'll wake up at like 4am.


Go for a walk, meditate, take a shower.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

rockyraccoon said:


> Same here. I've been up since around 3 this morning, but I am going to tough it out and stay awake and try to go to sleep at a regular time. I hope your anxiety goes away:squeeze


Thanks. I hope yours does too. :squeeze



Suchness said:


> Go for a walk, meditate, take a shower.


I already went for a walk, and took a shower. :b

You know I don't know how to meditate. (or spell it apparently) Lol.

Thanks though. :squeeze


----------



## rockyraccoon

SamanthaStrange said:


> I already went for a walk, and took a shower. :b


The song A Day In The Life by The Beatles suddenly comes to mind. Woke up, fell out of bed dragged a comb across my head... (Sorry, I think in terms of music a lot, lol).


----------



## SamanthaStrange

rockyraccoon said:


> The song A Day In The Life by The Beatles suddenly comes to mind. Woke up, fell out of bed dragged a comb across my head... (Sorry, I think in terms of music a lot, lol).


I like that song.


----------



## Suchness

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks. I hope yours does too. :squeeze
> 
> I already went for a walk, and took a shower. :b
> 
> You know I don't know how to meditate. (or spell it apparently) Lol.
> 
> Thanks though. :squeeze


I can teach you, it's really quite simple once you get it.


----------



## Ai

Sad and annoyed. 

Sad, because my cat, who was only just about to turn 10 and who I'd had since she was a tiny kitten, passed away yesterday. And we don't even know why. Annoyed because I made an innocent, light-hearted joke on my personal Facebook account while requesting volunteers for a fashion show my workplace is putting on--and one of my coworkers tattled on me to my boss, twisting it entirely out of context and putting me in hot water. 

It was one of two people. I don't know which, but it was definitely one of them. I don't have an extensive friend's list and only those on it had access to the post.

I am pretty irritated. I almost deleted them both as soon as I got home, but decided it would only court drama. So they're now just blocked from seeing any of my future posts.

I used to be more cautious with my words around coworkers, but I got lazy and let my guard down. Lesson learned, I guess. :|


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Ai said:


> Sad and annoyed.
> 
> Sad, because my cat, who was only just about to turn 10 and who I'd had since she was a tiny kitten, passed away yesterday. And we don't even know why.


 Awww. Poor kitty. Sorry to hear that. Seems like a lot of SAS members have lost animals lately.


----------



## Ai

WillYouStopDave said:


> Awww. Poor kitty. Sorry to hear that. Seems like a lot of SAS members have lost animals lately.


Yeah, it sucks.  She briefly went blind suddenly before she passed, so they're guessing a blood clot in the brain. But it's always extra upsetting when it's so unpredictable like that.

My pets are family. I enjoy their company more than I do most people. She was a little jerk, but I love her.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Ai said:


> Yeah, it sucks.  She briefly went blind suddenly before she passed, so they're guessing a blood clot in the brain. But it's always extra upsetting when it's so unpredictable like that.
> 
> My pets are family. I enjoy their company more than I do most people. She was a little jerk, but I love her.


My dog seemed perfectly OK (mostly. She had been breathing a bit weird when sleeping and throwing up a lot for a couple years) but I have a pic of her just a couple months before she died of cancer of the spleen and she looked pretty normal. When the bad stuff did start happening, it was sudden. She was like 12, which isn't really that old for a small dog (I had a small dog before that and she lived to be like 21) so I wasn't really expecting it so soon.


----------



## Ai

WillYouStopDave said:


> My dog seemed perfectly OK (mostly. She had been breathing a bit weird when sleeping and throwing up a lot for a couple years) but I have a pic of her just a couple months before she died of cancer of the spleen and she looked pretty normal. When the bad stuff did start happening, it was sudden. She was like 12, which isn't really that old for a small dog (I had a small dog before that and she lived to be like 21) so I wasn't really expecting it so soon.


That's rough. I'm sorry.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Ai said:


> That's rough. I'm sorry.


 Oh it's been years but it does still hurt to think about.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I don't know.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Stressed, tired.


----------



## komorikun

kesker said:


> I feel off. Short circuited. Like ants are crawling on me. Went from my usual three hour sleep cycle to two. Amazing what difference an hour makes. Just think if I got 5 hours. I could rule the world (or, at least, my living room).


Only 3 hours every night? Why so little?


----------



## andy1984

slightly paranoid. colleagues had a more chatty day. which means i had a more relatively isolated day. small evidence in tone of voice is all the evidence i need to prove whole world currently hates me. and then so close to a beautiful fantasy plan. just can't get off the rails. off the rails could lead bad places though. too tired to do programming that i was meant to do so i can get into the habit of doing it daily.










wish i could do this fantasy. desire, its a mistake. i should let it go.


----------



## donistired

Resigned


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Anxious.


----------



## tea111red

andy1984 said:


>


that looks nice and peaceful.


----------



## Shawn81

Exhausted, but I'm having really bad heart palpitations, so I can't get comfortable or sleep.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

A slave to my s h i t


----------



## SparklingWater

Excited and impatient. Still a bit confused about some things lol. Don't think I'll make the trip out to a group tonight. Maybe hangout instead. Shrug. We shall see.


----------



## kesker

komorikun said:


> Only 3 hours every night? Why so little?


Insomnia since infancy. Just worse now than its ever been. :blank


----------



## kesker

andy1984 said:


> slightly paranoid. colleagues had a more chatty day. which means i had a more relatively isolated day. small evidence in tone of voice is all the evidence i need to prove whole world currently hates me. and then so close to a beautiful fantasy plan. just can't get off the rails. off the rails could lead bad places though. too tired to do programming that i was meant to do so i can get into the habit of doing it daily.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> wish i could do this fantasy. desire, its a mistake. i should let it go.


I recall that feeling at work. Hope you have a better day today. That looks dangerously close to my fantasy. Maybe it's attainable if only for a day or two?


----------



## kesker

Disappointed, pissed, sour. I wasn't chosen in the lottery to climb Half Dome. Sucks.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Feel dreadful. I don't know why I'm trying to socialize with people. 

I don't think I'm ever going to find someone who empathizes enough with my history and with my own personal story, and all the women I meet have bad fathers, and I wonder if they hate all men for what there fathers did to them and at some point, take it out on me. 

The person I met who ghosted me, I wonder if she did that because she likes playing games and is basically doing to me what her vacant father does to her.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

kesker said:


> I recall that feeling at work. Hope you have a better day today. That looks dangerously close to my fantasy. Maybe it's attainable if only for a day or two?


Looks like something I'd like to do myself. I deprive myself of things like that because it doesn't last long enough and I have to come back to long term reality.


----------



## Citrine79

So-so. Have some things coming up that I am looking forward to and I am doing pretty good with therapy so far but I am still not thrilled with my work situation and the weather here is terrible, spring has been awful so far...gray and gloomy.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

It's lovely outside but I feel nothing, because I have no one to sit with. I would like to have someone to cook BBQ for.


----------



## Fun Spirit

kesker said:


> Disappointed, pissed, sour. I wasn't chosen in the lottery to climb Half Dome. Sucks.


*Pats your back*
I know the feeling..........:rofl


----------



## harrison

Not too bad. Had one of those weird black episodes again yesterday. I was at the house and I'd just got my new phone etc - nothing to be upset about at all and all of a sudden this heavy feeling comes over me in my head. Crushing and virtually immobilising. I don't get suicidal but I feel like I'm going mad instead. First I called the pharmacist then I called Lifeline. Haven't had to do that for a long time.

Those people are wonderful - and the lady I spoke to was fantastic. She was smart enough to not make it too obvious what she was doing - positive reinforcement, acknowledging what I was saying etc. It started to lift even while I was talking to her.

I think she got a kick out of me telling her I always like people from New Zealand. You can always still hear it - long after they move here. She was lovely.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> Feel dreadful. I don't know why I'm trying to socialize with people.
> 
> I don't think I'm ever going to find someone who empathizes enough with my history and with my own personal story, and *all the women I meet have bad fathers, and I wonder if they hate all men for what there fathers did to them and at some point, take it out on me. *
> 
> The person I met who ghosted me, I wonder if she did that because she likes playing games and is basically doing to me what her vacant father does to her.


If those are the types of women you are attracting, keep healthy boundaries around them. Most people emulate their parents to some extent, so you might be right on this, although it depends on the person in question... and I have to say, if someone is playing games like this with you regardless, drop them and don't look back. Trust me, they are not worth the heartache if you keep them in your life.


* *




If me and "her" did not have any interests in common, I would not have put her in the friend-zone at all, based on her behaviour towards me on our last few dates before we "broke up." Sometimes manipulative people can sense who is more vulnerable and take advantage of that in life, no matter their gender.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> If those are the types of women you are attracting, keep healthy boundaries around them. Most people emulate their parents to some extent, so you might be right on this, although it depends on the person in question... and I have to say, if someone is playing games like this with you regardless, drop them and don't look back. Trust me, they are not worth the heartache if you keep them in your life.
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> If me and "her" did not have any interests in common, I would not have put her in the friend-zone at all, based on her behaviour towards me on our last few dates before we "broke up." Sometimes manipulative people can sense who is more vulnerable and take advantage of that in life, no matter their gender.


I've given up on the woman who ghosted me. I didn't get close enough to her anyway. I only knew her for five minutes. I just don't like what she's done. This new person I'm meeting, I'm doing it because I have to do something. I don't see myself getting close to anyone ever again tbh. I don't think I'm capable of it. It took me years to get that close to "her" and that has broke my heart.

This new person is a challenge. It's an opportunity to socialize and pick her brains. She won't get very far if I start seeing negatives, and that's even if she wanted to try and get far anyway, which she probably won't lol.

I just don't think anyone can get as close as "her" to cause that much damage. I'm just fed up of this situation I'm in. Options are so limited and I still miss the **** out of her, the woman she was when she was great to me, and hate that her father failed her and caused her to have the issues she has. I don't feel like I'm vulnerable and desperate for anyones attention either. I just won't put up with crap from someone I hardly know. You know how some people will just end up with anyone because they hate being alone? That's not me. If it was I wouldn't have spent the vast majority of my life alone.


----------



## SparklingWater

Deeply unsettled and ill at ease. Bored. Agitated. Just all around bad. Bleh.


----------



## kesker

Pete Beale said:


> Looks like something I'd like to do myself. I deprive myself of things like that because it doesn't last long enough and I have to come back to long term reality.


It sucks when you have to think twice about getting away because you know the dread's that going to set in when it's time to come back. I've never let it stop me from going but it's sometimes taken me months to get over the disappointment/depression of the return. :blank


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

kesker said:


> It sucks when you have to think twice about getting away because you know the dread's that going to set in when it's time to come back. I've never let it stop me from going but it's sometimes taken me months to get over the disappointment/depression of the return. :blank


I've got enough saved to go away somewhere. I could actually do something cheap like back packing for months, but I worry about being lonely, not enjoying myself so I've wasted my money, and if I do enjoy myself, coming back to this crap.

I wish I could just be happy with me lot, but it's impossible. Always wanting, distracting, trying to escape something.


----------



## kesker

Fun Spirit said:


> *Pats your back*
> I know the feeling..........:rofl


thanks, lol.


----------



## Graeme1988

Knackered. Can't be arsed. Wish I could afford to take a vacation and go somewhere else for a few months.

Been feeling quite depressed since my cat died back in February.  
Plus, I'm still having to tolerate my family's dysfunctional, argumentative BS. :argue  _It's a happy life._


----------



## harrison

I think I'm alright today.


----------



## Ekardy




----------



## SparklingWater

* *




So satisfied. Curious and interested and just immensely content.

But also dreading having to see a few pple this weekend I've avoided this week. Fun... Actually a small part of me is looking forward to it. Good practice to have honest, difficult conversations that are still a bit hard for me. I can only get better at being honest about my experience.

Excited about Sunday and Monday and Tuesday lol. And **** next Wed. Sigh. I'm annoyed I've so quickly become disenchanted. 2 more weeks and I'm out. Sick of traveling tbh.

Also a bit annoyed. Have something valuable to add but there's no way I can without it seeming passive aggressive by default, even with zero intention for it to be. Meh, that's life. Shrug.

Also miffed I didn't feel connected to someone I need to have a good working relat for the next few months. Sigh. There's always next week.

I can't believe a few years ago the only thing I could say if someone asked me how I felt was fine or idk. So ****ing numb and disconnected from myself. I'm constantly amazed at all that's going on inside this tiny universe of mine. Thank you therapy.


----------



## 0589471

Broken. Scared. It's going to take a long time to recover and there's still a possibility of surgery. I don't want to deal with any of this.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Broken. Scared. It's going to take a long time to recover and there's still a possibility of surgery. I don't want to deal with any of this.


:squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Broken. Scared. It's going to take a long time to recover and there's still a possibility of surgery. I don't want to deal with any of this.


:hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Broken. Scared. It's going to take a long time to recover and there's still a possibility of surgery. I don't want to deal with any of this.


What happened sweetheart?  :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> What happened sweetheart?  :hug :squeeze


Look in what is bothering you now thread.


----------



## Ekardy

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Broken. Scared. It's going to take a long time to recover and there's still a possibility of surgery. I don't want to deal with any of this.


:squeeze

It's going to be okay. Just take it one day at a time and need to hope for the best.


----------



## megatheriidae

And just like that, there's no real point again.

Also **** them for sending me those texts.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I hope everyone's heart and spirit will be lifted up and comforted. And all of your emotions be at ease. Easier said than done but remain Strong. Be strong in the way you know how.


----------



## Fever Dream

I can't fall asleep, and I'm feeling nostalgic for better days. :sigh


----------



## Perkins

Depressed. I'm trying to prepare myself for more job rejections and it sucks. And all I fantasize about is quitting that hell hole that is my job.


----------



## SplendidBob

Oh god, today is going to be a nightmare. I just don't know how to deal with this _at all_. I don't think I can deal with this.

Taking a huge amount of kratom last night wasn't the best way to try to deal with it either. I had a few hours of ok mood, but its come back to bite me today.


----------



## Citrine79

Meh...at least it is Friday and pay day but otherwise I am just meh over everything right now. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## SparklingWater

Excited to go out tonight.

Eta- Dude... I think I may have found my perfect job for the forseeable future. Ugh don't want to be excited since who knows if they'll call back, but I'd love to interview with them.


----------



## 3stacks

Anxious, suicidal , hopeless. The trio. Wish I could stop being suicidal.


----------



## funnynihilist

Woke up too early. Had a pain in my side. It went away.

Otherwise dealing with a wave of depression that came on me yesterday. Depression is so stupid. Your life circumstances are trash so what does your brain do? It decides to throw depression on top of the poop pile so that you don't have the energy to even change one thing. Real nice!I

Now on top of having a **** life you have to deal with the fog of depression.

Bah I'm gonna try to go back to sleep. I feel a headache coming on now.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Like utter crap. I'm depressed.


----------



## funnynihilist

So I go back to sleep and I have this nightmare about my two cats who are both long deceased. And the nightmare was that I had forgot to feed them for two days. So in the dream I'm running around trying to put down as much food as I can and of course they are eating quickly. Then I notice that they also had no water, so I'm in a panic getting them water.
Thanks again brain for another wonderful experience!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@funnynihilist :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

sleep deprived. :roll hideous. nervous. crap.


----------



## Sweet&Sour

irritable since im close to pms


----------



## Karsten

I feel good. Maybe I'll take a walk. I like grey sky days.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

SplendidBob said:


> Oh god, today is going to be a nightmare. I just don't know how to deal with this _at all_. I don't think I can deal with this.
> 
> Taking a huge amount of kratom last night wasn't the best way to try to deal with it either. I had a few hours of ok mood, but its come back to bite me today.


How did it go?


----------



## SplendidBob

SamanthaStrange said:


> How did it go?


Psychologist sanctioned delay on the issue at hand lol. Best idea. Not going to deal with it until I have handed in the next bit of coursework, which will give me more scope if things totally **** up.

Thanks for asking


----------



## Sweet&Sour

invisible and crazy


----------



## kesker

Sad. Sad that it seems I've always been sad. It's an odd realization. I hadn't really stopped to think about it before...with good reason.


----------



## CNikki

Empty. Not that it matters.


----------



## clary321

sad and alone as no one on here even acknowledges my existence or replys to me and i am new to this site :cry


----------



## tea111red

^did you eat the pizza?


----------



## clary321

yeah i did it was very nice thank you for asking :smile2:


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely. But I deserve it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Tired. I did like 4 hours worth of cleaning and cooking after working 7 hours and walking to work. But it was a productive day.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

The usual. Depressed, lonely, bored, and tired of life.


----------



## Karsten

Tired. Didn't sleep well because the heat was stuck on full blast entire night.


----------



## Fruitcake

I'm happy. I made plant friends and a human friend. Probably not lasting ones, but that's okay, we're just bumping into one another and spending a little bit of time growing together in this weird place.


----------



## CNikki

Like ****. Doesn't matter what I do since it all leads to the same result.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I actually feel good. It won't last, but I feel better due to spending time with a nice woman, sleeping in a different bed and having fun with a few people. I blew a bit of money as well eating out at a few different places. 

I'm sorry everyone else feels so ****. It's extremely rare that I feel good but the last couple of days I've had some relief.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Like ****. Doesn't matter what I do since it all leads to the same result.


:hug:squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

I guess today's depression day. There seems to be more of these days than not.


----------



## Sweet&Sour

like crying


----------



## PandaBearx

Sleepy


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Annoyed. I was told to throw all the food out of the refrigerator if I'm not going to eat it. Wtf. What's the point of stocking up on food if you tell me to throw it out all out. I'm not gonna eat it all in one day just to get rid of it. I bought it with my hard earned money. When he says if I don't eat it, he usually means to throw it out it seems. I'm on a healthy diet and have to eat a few things a day. I told him I am going to eat it. It's not his right to tell me to throw it out. 

I need a mini fridge for my room. Like that's gonna happen.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Slightly hurt.

I finally let go of a Discord server I was somewhat part of. The story? Well once upon a time there was a manga forum website called MangaFox. Before SAS I was highly active there some time in 2011 even though I register in 2009. It was fun there. I met my 2 best online friends. I was familiar with the people there.

Long story short the forum shut down for whatever reason in 2016 I believe. At the same time the forum activity decreased. I was among the last active members who remained on the site. I may not have been the first to register when the site came to be but I surely was the last to stick around. Because I had no life in real life.

One of the Moderator created a Discord Server for those who still wish to have that connection. I joined but........it is not the same. My 2 best online friends been gone before the shut down. They moved on from me. And those who I was familiar with {who I had interacted with} had slowly left the forum because they obviously had a life. Those on the Server now I never interacted with. And I am not familuar with them. I kept myself on the server even though I don't sign into Discord but today I decided to finally decided to cut my ties with them. What was left of MangaFox.

Going back to the server stung. It bought back memories of my early online life. That time came and went. It began and it ended. I met people, became friends, had fun, the friendship ended. I end up learning about how people come and go in your life. Nobody stick around. Well for me they don't. I don't feel lonely but if I think about it deeply enough I guess I am. Well more like alone in the friendship department. I say I don't mind being alone and yet it feel like I am robbing myself of having friends. Oh well I guess.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> I actually feel good. It won't last, but I feel better due to spending time with a nice woman, sleeping in a different bed and having fun with a few people. I blew a bit of money as well eating out at a few different places.
> 
> I'm sorry everyone else feels so ****. It's extremely rare that I feel good but the last couple of days I've had some relief.


good!


----------



## tea111red

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Annoyed. I was told to throw all the food out of the refrigerator if I'm not going to eat it. Wtf. What's the point of stocking up on food if you tell me to throw it out all out. I'm not gonna eat it all in one day just to get rid of it. I bought it with my hard earned money. When he says if I don't eat it, he usually means to throw it out it seems. I'm on a healthy diet and have to eat a few things a day. I told him I am going to eat it. It's not his right to tell me to throw it out.
> 
> I need a mini fridge for my room. Like that's gonna happen.


He told you to throw out food that wasn't rotten yet?


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like a failure, yet again


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

tea111red said:


> He told you to throw out food that wasn't rotten yet?


It was food I literally bought only Friday and with my money and he told me to throw it out if I'm not going to eat it but it's still in the fridge. I know he threw out food in the fridge that was mine at least two times before. I'm leaving my food in there.


----------



## andy0128

Tired. Last week had to cope with a bit more extra stress at work. Yesterday i didnt get chance to sleep in the afternoon as i trnd to on saturdays to compensate for my insomnia during the week.


----------



## tea111red

PurplePeopleEater said:


> It was food I literally bought only Friday and with my money and he told me to throw it out if I'm not going to eat it but it's still in the fridge. I know he threw out food in the fridge that was mine at least two times before. I'm leaving my food in there.


:no reminds me of how my dad was.

not cool he's wasting your money. how come a mini refrigerator can't be a possibility?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

tea111red said:


> :no reminds me of how my dad was.
> 
> not cool he's wasting your money. how come a mini refrigerator can't be a possibility?


Oh, wow. That sucks. :/ Food shouldn't go to waste.

Well, eventually he'd probably find out I have one in my room then get mad and say I can't have one. I could see it happening. Maybe I could find one that's small enough he won't notice but not too small where I can't put much in it. It would help out a lot to have one.

Do they cost extra on electricity to run?


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel sooooo in love. I think my having my two crystals around me is bringing out certain emotions. Especially my new crystal.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

BleedingHearts said:


> It's not too bad. I have a 4.4 cubic in my room and it averages like $30/year


30 dollars is really cheap. I'm going to get one then.


----------



## tea111red

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Oh, wow. That sucks. :/ Food shouldn't go to waste.
> 
> Well, eventually he'd probably find out I have one in my room then get mad and say I can't have one. I could see it happening. Maybe I could find one that's small enough he won't notice but not too small where I can't put much in it. It would help out a lot to have one.
> 
> Do they cost extra on electricity to run?


here are some to give you an idea of what's out there.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

tea111red said:


> here are some to give you an idea of what's out there.


Number 2 and 3 look really nice. I want one of those. :O


----------



## tea111red

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Number 2 and 3 look really nice. I want one of those. :O


yeah, i was thinking i want a mini refrigerator again after looking at that video, lol.


----------



## Flora20

I feel like the loneliest person in the world..


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> good!


Getting back to normal now. Don't know how to progress with certain things holding me back. Wish I had money so I didn't have to care about these things anymore, or as much.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Getting back to normal now. Don't know how to progress with certain things holding me back. Wish I had money so I didn't have to care about these things anymore, or as much.


if you haven't been ghosted, just keep focusing on gradually building a friendship. don't think too far ahead.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Idk, not fully awake yet.


----------



## PandaBearx

I think a bit numb as of lately. I think it's b/c me and my sister are more at odds ever since her breakup (which I understand) I just miss us hanging out as much as we did.


----------



## 8888

Content


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

8888 said:


> Content





Crisigv said:


> Miserable


Night and day. :smile2::frown2:


----------



## CNikki

All of what I'm 'not supposed' to be feeling...

Again, wish I had an ear to listen and not be judgmental enough to at least hear me out on some of them.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Number 2 and 3 look really nice. I want one of those. :O


 If you get anything that has a compressor in it, you might want to plan on putting it in a closet or something. I have a 1.7 CF one with a compressor in my room and man that thing is a lot noisier than I thought it would be. I've kind of gotten used to it but it still wakes me up sometimes with it's obnoxiously loud buzzing and burbling sounds.

Also, they don't cool as well as you'd think and if you're using them for stuff that spoils easily you really have to be careful. They have a hard time getting the temp down to the safe zone and if you open the door a lot you could easily be out of the safe zone for hours.

Mine even kind of has a hard time with soda. I have to plan it so it is never more than half empty. So I end up loading it back up with a bunch of cans every couple of days. If I forget to fill it back up and it's almost empty, it takes so long to get the drinks cold I won't have anything left even if I have a couple of cold ones in there when I fill it up. It will probably take it all day to get them even kind of cold if I start from empty.

If you want to get one of the compressor ones, get one of the bigger ones. Don't get the 1.7 unless you have to.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

tea111red said:


> yeah, i was thinking i want a mini refrigerator again after looking at that video, lol.


They sure come in handy. I'm going to get one at Walmart one day.

Better save up for one first instead of spending my money at once. 
@WillYouStopDave This all sounds complicated. If I get a noisy one, I'll probably get yelled at for it. Lol Guess I'll just do my research first to make sure I get a good one.


----------



## Maslow




----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A wee bit embarrassed. This girl I said something to once that only replied with a yea might have said hey to me today then my name after she said hey. But I'm not sure if she did. I was sitting down and turned to her and she turned my way but was sipping on a drink. So, I didn't say anything cause I didn't want to look stupid. -_-


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> They sure come in handy. I'm going to get one at Walmart one day.
> 
> Better save up for one first instead of spending my money at once.
> 
> @WillYouStopDave This all sounds complicated. If I get a noisy one, I'll probably get yelled at for it. Lol Guess I'll just do my research first to make sure I get a good one.


 Well, they're not that noisy. They can't be heard from another room but it's a lot noisier than you'd think when it's right by you in your bedroom.


----------



## tea111red

f5


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sore.


----------



## Fever Dream

Nostalgic for the past, and depressed that I can't go back.


----------



## Sloqx

Sad, lonely. The usual.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I hope everyone here will feel better: ) Inner strength goes a long way.

_Sent from La La Land using Tapatalk_


----------



## donistired

Just want life to stop. I feel so paralyzed. I don't want to get up tomorrow. I don't want to leave my home. 

And I don't want to spend another day feeling alone and disconnected from everything and everyone in life. I feel like I'm dead weight.


----------



## Citrine79

Gray, gloomy and bleak..just like the weather. After a brief glimmer of hope and positivity, I am back to the doldrums yet again and finding it hard to function, especially at work.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## tea111red

glad i got rid of some clutter.


----------



## Crisigv

Shocked and upset about Notre Dame.


----------



## SofaKing

Crisigv said:


> Shocked and upset about Notre Dame.


Yes...I'm fortunate to have been able to visit years ago.


----------



## Crisigv

SofaKing said:


> Yes...I'm fortunate to have been able to visit years ago.


That's good at least. I'm sad. I hope they can restore it. There's so much I want to see.


----------



## Ai

Itchy. 

So. Itchy...


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Feeling melancholic off-and-on today, even though the sun is shining outside. Trying to think happy thoughts is hard sometimes. :sigh


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Feeling melancholic off-and-on today, even though the sun is shining outside. Trying to think happy thoughts is hard sometimes. :sigh


 I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I can understand how hard it is to even just force yourself to think positively.

:squeeze


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I don't know how I'm supposed to completely open up to someone and be accepted. I get asked what I do for living, if I'm married and have kids, and I can come across like there's nothing wrong with me, but I'm terribly insecure about some things. I can walk around like I own the place and feel like I don't give a **** about anything and have no fear, but I have these horrible insecurities that have plagued me for life. It's weird, but I feel really confident sometimes and so relaxed, but so insecure and suppressed at the same time. I can fool people by being myself if that makes any sense, but there are parts of myself I'm ashamed of and have to hide. I look at myself sometimes and know no one has a clue and wouldn't believe my story. It's so painful feeling like a completely normal person, but having some issues that make me feel so ****. I know for a fact that if I just didn't have a few issues that were completely out of my control and I can't do anything about, I would not be on this ****ing site. I just feel like I'm god damn unlucky and it's incredibly frustrating. If I could change parts of my appearance life would be a peace of piss for me. I just can't stop focusing on these things and the only person I was ever able to talk about these things with, has rejected me and ****ing left me alone with it all again.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cursed. Trapped. Hopeless. I just want out.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pete Beale said:


> I don't know how I'm supposed to completely open up to someone and be accepted. I get asked what I do for living, if I'm married and have kids, and I can come across like there's nothing wrong with me, but I'm terribly insecure about some things. I can walk around like I own the place and feel like I don't give a **** about anything and have no fear, but I have these horrible insecurities that have plagued me for life. It's weird, but I feel really confident sometimes and so relaxed, but so insecure and suppressed at the same time. I can fool people by being myself if that makes any sense, but there are parts of myself I'm ashamed of and have to hide. I look at myself sometimes and know no one has a clue and wouldn't believe my story. It's so painful feeling like a completely normal person, but having some issues that make me feel so ****. I know for a fact that if I just didn't have a few issues that were completely out of my control and I can't do anything about, I would not be on this ****ing site. I just feel like I'm god damn unlucky and it's incredibly frustrating. If I could change parts of my appearance life would be a peace of piss for me. I just can't stop focusing on these things and the only person I was ever able to talk about these things with, has rejected me and ****ing left me alone with it all again.


 :rub



Ekardy said:


> I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I can understand how hard it is to even just force yourself to think positively.
> 
> :squeeze


Thanks for the hug, sweetheart. :hug :squeeze



SamanthaStrange said:


> Cursed. Trapped. Hopeless. I just want out.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Still sore, but have to harden up.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Still sore, but have to harden up.


What happened?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Today wasn't the best day. Man got mad at me cause he wanted me to clean up a "mess" and I've been keeping this house clean so I actually got snappy with him this time. He turned his head to me with a disgusted, mean look. For a few seconds, I thought he was gonna hurt me so I got kinda nervous but he didn't. At that moment I didn't care about anything else, though cause I have been cleaning and cleaning. It got to me but I certainly don't regret it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> What happened?


Not totally sure how it happened.

Just a sore shoulder muscle.


----------



## Crisigv

Like an outcast monster


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Like an outcast monster


Feel that way too at times.


----------



## Yer Blues

Too much meh.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

So incredibly bored. So much I could do in this life if I had money and a partner. I want to be free.


----------



## rabidfoxes

I'm feeling good today. I've done all my work for the day and intend to be saving the galaxy for the next few hours.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Feeling very bad, physically, and emotionally.


----------



## Citrine79

Really crappy. It is always one small step forward, five giant steps back for me. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bloody bored. If only I could enjoy my own company. I could do all sorts of things. I could just piss off on holiday in the morning.


----------



## Ekardy

I'm feeling down. I miss the water, the ocean. Being back at the beach made me feel relaxed and content. Like I can handle anything and the waves would just wash away everything else: my fears, my worries, stress. 
Hopefully around this time next year I will be back in California permanently and live by the coast. I think these last two years my anxiety and depression have been worst because I'm this far inland, I feel claustrophobic.


----------



## funnynihilist

What a rancid day


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I feel like I'm always waiting for something.


----------



## PandaBearx

I’m in that mood where you’re so numb, you just wanna drive for miles just so you don’t have to face what’s on your mind. Just want to escape somewhere.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

PandaBearx said:


> I'm in that mood where you're so numb, you just wanna drive for miles just so you don't have to face what's on your mind. Just want to escape somewhere.


I would like to be a passenger in your car. A road trip would be nice lol.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

The road trips she took me on were great. :frown2:


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling very uncomfortable physically. Sharp pain in my head all day and my chest feels tight. Hard to get a full breath here and there.


----------



## 0589471

Constant pain. I stayed off meds yesterday to run errands, since movement is encouraged. I almost fell putting gas in my car. It scares me the lack of control these days.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Constant pain. I stayed off meds yesterday to run errands, since movement is encouraged. I almost fell putting gas in my car. It scares me the lack of control these days.


What's the med for?


----------



## harrison

Feeling pretty good - reasonably stable at least. Will go and talk to this nice GP again this afternoon and continue the search for a new shrink. Nice and warm too before the weather gets cooler.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I had an okayish day until my new produce manager told me I have to greet customers. I never had to do that with my original produce manager. That sucks. Other than that she seems pretty nice. She's younger so I feel less shy around her but still get kinda awkward at times. A couple of my coworkers told me my assistant manager didn't show up and didn't call and said she quit so doubt she'll ever be giving me rides again.


----------



## 8888

Depressed


----------



## JerryAndSports

Tired. Too many things on my mind so I couldn’t sleep.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

:con sums it up.


----------



## Citrine79

Lackluster and miserable. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

The usual depressed, bored and lonely.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel pretty well actually. Normal but then I have to remind myself that I have anxiety. I could have an episode at any time. But for now I feel good.

_Sent from Skywalker using Tapatalk_


----------



## Citrine79

Getting more miserable as the day drags on.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## funnynihilist

80 degrees. Really nice day. And here I am on the couch with the blinds closed and sitting in total silence.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

funnynihilist said:


> 80 degrees. Really nice day. And here I am on the couch with the blinds closed and sitting in total silence.


Lovely day here. Wasted it. I have a meet saturday and the weather should be really nice, so I have to try and enjoy it, but I'm back at square one the next day trying to distract myself from the crapness and the future, all over again. Lovely! lol


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lonely, bored.


----------



## tea111red

haha, maybe i should anticipate being ganged up on now? :stu


----------



## 3stacks

tea111red said:


> haha, maybe i should anticipate being ganged up on now?


 hell naw we'll put our ski masks on lol. Just no shooting me again.


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> hell naw we'll put our ski masks on lol. Just no shooting me again.


haha, i promise i won't.


----------



## 3stacks

tea111red said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> hell naw we'll put our ski masks on lol. Just no shooting me again.
> 
> 
> 
> haha, i promise i won't.
Click to expand...

 haha the wink makes me think you would shoot


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> haha the wink makes me think you would shoot


nah


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored ****less. Hate my own company.


----------



## Citrine79

Not great...not at all busy at work and I feel a migrane coming on.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## harrison

Reasonably settled I think - felt so bad lately, terrible generalised anxiety almost to the point of panic, and depression.

I guess that 15 year old GP I saw might have a point - I should try and take my medication consistently at the same dose. I shouldn't be nasty - he's a nice kid. Just hard to have any faith in them that young.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sick. 

Alone.


----------



## Maslow

My underwear is bunching up.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Who cares...


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Who cares...


:frown2: :squeeze


----------



## The Library of Emma

Dysphoric and empty. Like I’ve been let down or lost something important to me


----------



## Citrine79

Kicked the migrane from earlier thanks to caffeine and meds. Still feeling lackluster though...disinterested in working and since no one in this office seems to care today then why should I.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely.


----------



## Citrine79

Ugh...freaked out. My ride is late and there is this creepy guy who sits in the parking lot every day (he is involved with/possibly stalking someone in the office next door) but he stares at everyone no matter what office they come out of and makes everyone umcomfortable.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Ekardy

Stressed out. T_T
I have entomophobia (phobia of insects) and arachnophobia (spiders). So my OCD is running rampant for the last 2-3 days and continuing with needing to clean the whole house now from top to bottom since I found a small infestation of arachnids that at first I thought were bugs so either way....****. And that of course is stressing me the **** out and my anxiety is making my heart dance.


----------



## Graeme1988

Had a week’s peace n’ quiet, did’nae do much unfortunately. Just glad to not have keep my nieces entertained, since that all ah do whenever they visit.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Had a stressful day but now I'm calm and trying to enjoy my night.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Now on the ship. Oh no, trouble ahead.


----------



## Sunny1

This has not been a good day. Cooked 3 meals wed
Hubby forgot them and left his cooler in the yard thur morning 
He is angry when hubby is not getting his dinner it is not a good day. Jezz
I am dead tired 
This to will pass and the sun will shine another day.


----------



## Crisigv

Struggling a bit


----------



## andy0128

Worn out. Yesterday had to talk on the phone to several people about important matters.


----------



## JerryAndSports

It’s Easter break so fine for a little bit


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling like. :O

Ship gone.

Now Ripley vs the Alien.

Oh, no.

Inner teeth coming out of mouth.

Into the suit and out the airlock it goes.

Ripley toast's it.

The end, Ripley last survivor.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Girl Without a Shadow said:


> Dysphoric and empty. Like I've been let down or lost something important to me


:hug:squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Full from dinner with family earlier tonight.



Pete Beale said:


> :frown2: :squeeze


Thanks dude. At least someone cares, even though there is a huge-arse pond separating us. Lol.


----------



## harrison

So tired - how is anyone supposed to function on this medication. This little boy said to his Dad the other day on the train that man is having a sleep. I was half-asleep and I opened my eyes and smiled at him. And these doctors are surprised when you tell them you stop taking it all the time. Jesus Christ.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Full from dinner with family earlier tonight.
> 
> Thanks dude. At least someone cares, even though there is a huge-arse pond separating us. Lol.


lol

Mate if I could afford it I'd fly over there and we could get up to all sorts of mischief. :wink2: :b


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Feel like crap. 

Big meet tomorrow but it's not enough. I want someone to spend far more time than I do with. Meeting people now and again, just doesn't compare at all to all the quality time I spent with her.


----------



## Citrine79

Doing okay today. Not at work and in another city for an event today. Weather isn’t great and I am a bit nervous about being in a crowd.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## SparklingWater

Physically a bit fatigued, slow. Have a dull headache. Emotionally riding that edge between peaceful/serene/content and bored lol. Means I need to find something to do in the next few mins or I'll go full boredom and for me that typically leads to annoyed, impatient and irritable. I'll try to head that off. Prob why I logged on.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I'm kind of hesitant to ask my Mom for her opinion about myself possibly doing a Discord voice group chat {If I get a SAS server invite.} It isn't her answer I'm scared of. I'm sure she would encourage me which is what I need. Some encouragement. I am just hesitant to open up my mouth.

_ Sent by Red Eyes Black Dragon using Tapatalk_


----------



## fine_again

Frustrated. Angry. Stuck.

Had a talk with my mom about how much care the pets need, how I can't care for all of them. 3 cats - one with ringworm that is getting worse, one with a healing foot, the other a flea-hoarding recluse, and 1 anxious, itchy little doggo.

Conversation amounted to nothing. My mom will buy the prescription our ringworm cat needs, but won't be around to do any of the labor. Cat requires 2-3 baths a week, and 3 weeks of oral medication. Hell, I asked her to simply _call_ the vet for the prescription, but she was reluctant to do it, so now I'm going to.

My partner is pissed at me that we have to continue caring for the cat. That we still have to buy all the puppy pads, the food, and do the work for these animals.

We're both mad at the situation. I've been stressed with it, among other things, and I'm tired of it. And now my partner is mad at me for not getting the kind of results we wanted with my mom. ...Just preparing for his angry, fed up verbal response when he gets home.

I'm stuck. I'm gonna go smoke a bowl.


----------



## The Library of Emma

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug:squeeze


Thank you


----------



## SparklingWater

****ty and depressed.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Nervous about working 40 hours next week but glad I'm getting more hours. Still need to get used to the new rules.


----------



## Eternal Solitude

Like I want to off myself :serious:

Bad real life interactions today created the spark. Repressed memories from the past provided the fuel. The pistons inside my cylindrical mind are in motion. I can feel my frame shaking. I peak through the front seat window and see no future. And as I look through the rear view mirror I can see death sitting on the backseat. She knows that I am observing her and in acknowledgement she looks dead into the mirror's reflection while giving me an inviting smile.

Her gaze seems to invoke images of freedom and peace.










But is it just a trick? Are those images of blissful peace only bait created by higher powers that gleefully await for me to fatally bite that false and bitter treat..just so that they can snare me and torment me for all eternity?

Eternity... is there such a thing?


----------



## harrison

I feel sick - absolutely revolting. I was all ready to go and spend a few days at my wife's place and I felt so sick and weak just walking along in the city I had to come home. It's this bloody medication that's making me dizzy and tired all the time, I'm going to stop it.


----------



## Karsten

Sleepy, but determined to finish this book - even at my snail's pace.


----------



## 3 AM

bitter lol here i go again...


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired, but my mind is all over the place. 

Yay for me!

Not.


----------



## Graeme1988

Dour, pissed off.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel like SAS is getting old for me. I need something new and different.

_ Sent by Red Eyes Black Dragon using Tapatalk_


----------



## Kevin001

Hot and overworked


----------



## SparklingWater

Super comfy. Lazy day in bed under blankets. Watching Mad Men. Ate some salad. Nice and cool outside now that the rain ended. Just a nice day. Think it's mostly because internally I'm very relaxed and at ease. Been a good week barring yesterday and that arguement. Only way it could be better is if I had a pet or 2 rn and if the bf were here.


----------



## riverbird

Frustrated and depressed. My mind won’t shut off, I’m overthinking everything, and I’m convinced the worst is going to happen in a certain situation.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Took my mom out today then spent a few hours at a meet talking with loads of people, stayed till the end where I chatted for a while with a couple of lovely women when everyone else had left, but now I'm back here waiting to feel **** and lonely again, and wonder why the **** she cut me out of her life when I know I'm good enough a person, and she's lost a good person in me.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Really pissed off.


----------



## Ekardy

Angry. Upset. ****.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Ekardy said:


> Angry. Upset. ****.


:squeeze I hope you feel better soon!


----------



## harrison

Reasonably clear-headed and awake - which is a nice change.


----------



## gunner21

I haven't left my bed since yesterday morning. Feeling like a lazy piece of ****.


----------



## Maslow

Lonely.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Nostalgic. Sad. Lonely. Stuck.


----------



## Elle Knight

I am feeling suicidal. Idk what else to do.


----------



## Elle Knight

Maslow said:


> Lonely.


Hey, I am sorry that you feel that way.

Do you wanna talk? *waves*


----------



## Elle Knight

SamanthaStrange said:


> Nostalgic. Sad. Lonely. Stuck.


Hiii, sorry.

Do you have any sort of coping mechanism?


----------



## Elle Knight

riverbird said:


> Frustrated and depressed. My mind won't shut off, I'm overthinking everything, and I'm convinced the worst is going to happen in a certain situation.


Hey, try download an app that helps to calm you. There is one by the name of "calm" in the app store. You should try it out and I hope things work out the way you want them to.


----------



## harrison

I can feel a migraine starting - they'll all come back now I've stopped that stupid medication.


----------



## harrison

Elle Knight said:


> I am feeling suicidal. Idk what else to do.


I hope you're okay. Do you live with anyone you can talk to or is there anyone you can call?


----------



## rockyraccoon

Feeling a little sad for some reason. I have been doing great for the past few weeks or so and I have been sleeping well the last week or so, but I'm a little stressed out. I have been doing my best to not have negative thoughts. I'm still thinking positive for the most part but maybe I'm being to hard on myself for ruminating about those stray, negative thoughts that pop in and out of my head from time to time.


----------



## tea111red

bored.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like a rotten piece of garbage that doesn't belong in this world.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Feeling pretty miserable again for some reason or another.



Ekardy said:


> Angry. Upset. ****.


 :hug:squeeze


----------



## Maslow

There's a gun just 10 feet away. That would end it right now, but f' it. It's not time.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Maslow said:


> There's a gun just 10 feet away. That would end it right now, but f' it. It's not time.


:squeeze

(Sorry if that's not the appropriate emoticon but I....guess words and emoticons are just inadequate)


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Maslow said:


> There's a gun just 10 feet away. That would end it right now, but f' it. It's not time.


:frown2::rub


----------



## Noca

Marginally happy


----------



## CNikki

Pattern of suicide talk is strong in this section... But I feel for many of you.


----------



## Elle Knight

harrison said:


> Elle Knight said:
> 
> 
> 
> I am feeling suicidal. Idk what else to do.
> 
> 
> 
> I hope you're okay. Do you live with anyone you can talk to or is there anyone you can call?
Click to expand...

Thanks for caring. It's like you're the only one who cares...I appreciate that.

Sigh. There's no one to talk to or call. I am just tired of trying. I feel hopeless.


----------



## exceptionalfool

Elle Knight said:


> Thanks for caring. It's like you're the only one who cares...I appreciate that.
> 
> Sigh. There's no one to talk to or call. I am just tired of trying. I feel hopeless.


I like your cute avatar baby holding the cat. I hope I am seeing that right...


----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

Depressed. This is meant to my favourite time of the year and my favourite holiday, but the curtains are shut. I just can't enjoy it and I don't want to be reminded of it. For the first time in my life I'm looking forward to going back to work so I have a distraction.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Had a dream that she was talking to me again so feel like ****. And the weather's lovely and just reminds me of being happy doing things with her. I had so many more plans to do things and it all died because of mental illness.


----------



## Elle Knight

exceptionalfool said:


> Elle Knight said:
> 
> 
> 
> Thanks for caring. It's like you're the only one who cares...I appreciate that.
> 
> Sigh. There's no one to talk to or call. I am just tired of trying. I feel hopeless.
> 
> 
> 
> I like your cute avatar baby holding the cat. I hope I am seeing that right...
Click to expand...

Aww thank you❣ Your eyes are seeing correctly. Do you like cats too?


----------



## Deaf Mute

I want to be perfect, why do I have to be so flawed..


----------



## exceptionalfool

Elle Knight said:


> Aww thank you❣ Your eyes are seeing correctly. Do you like cats too?


We have a sort of love/hate/confusion relationship when we are living together, but in the end yes. Of course!


----------



## Sweet&Sour

Like c*tting but I haven't since 2017 and it's Easter and one other secret reason I shouldn't give in.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Confused. Tapatalk did it again. I'm following someone I know I didn't click. I'm going to stop trying to figure this out.

_ Sent by Red Eyes Black Dragon using Tapatalk_


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bad neck giving me a headache plus bored, lonely, and no idea what to do with whatever little time I have left.


----------



## Elle Knight

exceptionalfool said:


> Elle Knight said:
> 
> 
> 
> Aww thank you❣ Your eyes are seeing correctly. Do you like cats too?
> 
> 
> 
> We have a sort of love/hate/confusion relationship when we are living together, but in the end yes. Of course!
Click to expand...

Love/hate/confusion r/ship? Why?
I love cats and the cat family.


----------



## Elle Knight

Deaf Mute said:


> I want to be perfect, why do I have to be so flawed..


No one is perfect. People might seem or look perfect but they arent.


----------



## exceptionalfool

Elle Knight said:


> Love/hate/confusion r/ship? Why?
> I love cats and the cat family.


I shouldn't say hate. It's like this 

* *














:lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed, lonely, yada, yada, yada.


----------



## Elle Knight

exceptionalfool said:


> Elle Knight said:
> 
> 
> 
> Love/hate/confusion r/ship? Why?
> I love cats and the cat family.
> 
> 
> 
> I shouldn't say hate. It's like this
> 
> * *
Click to expand...

Haha i get you now. Awww they can be too nosy at times :~).
Do you like dogs?


----------



## exceptionalfool

Elle Knight said:


> Haha i get you now. Awww they can be too nosy at times :~).
> Do you like dogs?


My last feline roommate used to attack my feet whenever I was on the phone. I never understood that. :lol I love dogs, of course, but I think I have a preference toward cats as far as having a roommate goes. I met someone a while back who lived with two beautiful huskies, but kept them indoors and alone all day, and they were pretty wild. I wouldn't do that.


----------



## AffinityWing

Unmotivated..Lazy..Skilless. :sigh


----------



## 3stacks

Suicidal babay lol I bet everyone thinks damn you say it so much you should just do it already


----------



## Elle Knight

exceptionalfool said:


> Elle Knight said:
> 
> 
> 
> Haha i get you now. Awww they can be too nosy at times :~).
> Do you like dogs?
> 
> 
> 
> My last feline roommate used to attack my feet whenever I was on the phone. I never understood that.  I love dogs, of course, but I think I have a preference toward cats as far as having a roommate goes. I met someone a while back who lived with two beautiful huskies, but kept them indoors and alone all day, and they were pretty wild. I wouldn't do that.
Click to expand...

Ohh that's messed up to keep them in doors and alone all day...not fair. 
Yeah I love cats more too. They are so cute especially kittens. I love tigers too haha


----------



## Elle Knight

3stacks said:


> Suicidal babay lol I bet everyone thinks damn you say it so much you should just do it already


Nope. You shouldnt generalize. Is there someone close by whom you can talk to?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> Suicidal babay lol I bet everyone thinks damn you say it so much you should just do it already


Are you still in Surrey? I'm sorry you feel bad man. Have you ever attempted suicide or just have thought's about it? I've never attempted it but sometimes don't want to wake up, but do, but don't, but do. It's annoying as ****. I spoke to a guy yesterday who's not long got out of hospital. He's got no support at all so has no choice but to hospitalize himself when it get's too much for him. I told him how I'd never been hospitalized, because I've always had some support. Always had a place to shutdown when things got too bad. I thought I'd have to get muself sectioned this time last year though for the first time, I was so bad, but again I had a place where I could just shutdown again.


----------



## Elle Knight

AffinityWing said:


> Unmotivated..Lazy..Skilless.


Maybe you're just tired. You should probably take a nap??


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> Are you still in Surrey? I'm sorry you feel bad man. Have you ever attempted suicide or just have thought's about it? I've never attempted it but sometimes don't want to wake up, but do, but don't, but do. It's annoying as ****. I spoke to a guy yesterday who's not long got out of hospital. He's got no support at all so has no choice but to hospitalize himself when it get's too much for him. I told him how I'd never been hospitalized, because I've always had some support. Always had a place to shutdown when things got too bad. I thought I'd have to get muself sectioned this time last year though for the first time, I was so bad, but again I had a place where I could just shutdown again.


Yeah still here. Noo no actual attempts but I knew if I stayed home I would have. It's quite hard to describe how bad I feel really. Hopeless is a good term but it feels even worse than that. Sorry that you've felt that way it's definitely horrible I wouldn't even wish this on people I hate (there's only two lol)


----------



## AffinityWing

Elle Knight said:


> Maybe you're just tired. You should probably take a nap??


Haha, I feel like I take too many of those..I still feel tired after them. Seems I can never find the balance between oversleeping and not sleeping enough. They're tempting anyway, though.. I'll probably still take one. :teeth


----------



## 3stacks

Elle Knight said:


> Nope. You shouldnt generalize. Is there someone close by whom you can talk to?


I've got a couple people online. My family are a bit far away


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> Yeah still here. Noo no actual attempts but I knew if I stayed home I would have. It's quite hard to describe how bad I feel really. Hopeless is a good term but it feels even worse than that. Sorry that you've felt that way it's definitely horrible I wouldn't even wish this on people I hate (there's only two lol)


When I was your age I was getting serious intrusive thoughts and making plans in my head. Was a very dark time. Felt like it again last year but it wasn't as bad. It's really hard being a guy and being your age man. So tough but I hope you find something that makes you feel better, and when you get out if you need a chat or want to attend some of the groups I go to, you know where I'm at. I hope you feel better soon!


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah still here. Noo no actual attempts but I knew if I stayed home I would have. It's quite hard to describe how bad I feel really. Hopeless is a good term but it feels even worse than that. Sorry that you've felt that way it's definitely horrible I wouldn't even wish this on people I hate (there's only two lol)
> 
> 
> 
> When I was your age I was getting serious intrusive thoughts and making plans in my head. Was a very dark time. Felt like it again last year but it wasn't as bad. It's really hard being a guy and being your age man. So tough but I hope you find something that makes you feel better, and when you get out if you need a chat or want to attend some of the groups I go to, you know where I'm at. I hope you feel better soon!
Click to expand...

 Yeah it's just horrible I don't even have words for it. Thank you! I appreciate it.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> Yeah it's just horrible I don't even have words for it. Thank you! I appreciate it.


All that testosterone plus mental health issues plus all the pressures of a young man trying to find his way and purpose in life. It's a tough combo man. Many of us have been there! Just gotta keep going mate, and I do believe life can get better for you. You've still got time on your side!


----------



## funnynihilist

The weather is blah and so am I


----------



## exceptionalfool

Elle Knight said:


> Ohh that's messed up to keep them in doors and alone all day...not fair.
> Yeah I love cats more too. They are so cute especially kittens. I love tigers too haha


I like tigers too, and lions and all big cats. They are beautiful and impressive, but I respect that they are creatures designed by evolution to eat me. :lol We used to have a mountain lion in the zoo close by where I live. His name was Mac and he was a moody sort. He trained me one time as I was observing. He set his gaze on target and I knew if it wasn't for that fence I would be over. I think he passed away of old age recently.


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> Suicidal babay lol I bet everyone thinks damn you say it so much you should just do it already


nope...i can understand.


----------



## Elle Knight

3stacks said:


> Elle Knight said:
> 
> 
> 
> Nope. You shouldnt generalize. Is there someone close by whom you can talk to?
> 
> 
> 
> I've got a couple people online. My family are a bit far away
Click to expand...

Ohh i'm sorry. You should talk to someone okay? Even if it's over the phone. I hope you feel better soon. Stay safe.


----------



## Elle Knight

exceptionalfool said:


> Elle Knight said:
> 
> 
> 
> Ohh that's messed up to keep them in doors and alone all day...not fair.
> Yeah I love cats more too. They are so cute especially kittens. I love tigers too haha
> 
> 
> 
> I like tigers too, and lions and all big cats. They are beautiful and impressive, but I respect that they are creatures designed by evolution to eat me.  We used to have a mountain lion in the zoo close by where I live. His name was Mac and he was a moody sort. He trained me one time as I was observing. He set his gaze on target and I knew if it wasn't for that fence I would be over. I think he passed away of old age recently.
Click to expand...

Omg, I identify with you haha!! Wow, you are very lucky. Ohh man, that's sad &#128542; so there are more cat family at the zoo now?


----------



## Elle Knight

AffinityWing said:


> Elle Knight said:
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe you're just tired. You should probably take a nap??
> 
> 
> 
> Haha, I feel like I take too many of those..I still feel tired after them. Seems I can never find the balance between oversleeping and not sleeping enough. They're tempting anyway, though.. I'll probably still take one.
Click to expand...

Haha you should take all the naps you can! Just kidding...but on a serious note, maybe you're depressed?


----------



## exceptionalfool

Elle Knight said:


> Omg, I identify with you haha!! Wow, you are very lucky. Ohh man, that's sad &#128542; so there are more cat family at the zoo now?


Yes I was. :lol I'm sure many visitors to that zoo were acquainted with the experience of being stalked by the large cat. I haven't been to that particular zoo in years, but it looks like they closed that exhibit and have bobcats now, which is the mascot of the local university. I'll have to take a visit when I get back.


----------



## Elle Knight

exceptionalfool said:


> Elle Knight said:
> 
> 
> 
> Omg, I identify with you haha!! Wow, you are very lucky. Ohh man, that's sad &#128542; so there are more cat family at the zoo now?
> 
> 
> 
> Yes I was.  I'm sure many visitors to that zoo were acquainted with the experience of being stalked by the large cat. I haven't been to that particular zoo in years, but it looks like they closed that exhibit and have bobcats now, which is the mascot of the local university. I'll have to take a visit when I get back.
Click to expand...

Yes, you should &#128578; Haha i wish my cats would stalk me&#127770; all the best with that visit.


----------



## 3stacks

tea111red said:


> nope...i can understand.


:hug


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> :hug


i hope you get some relief.... :squeeze


----------



## 3stacks

tea111red said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> i hope you get some relief....
Click to expand...

 Thanks, hopefully I can but I'm not sure lol


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Weathers making me miss the **** out of her. I've booked some day trips, one to London, and that is especially going to make me miss the **** out of her, but I have to try and do things. Sigh.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sad


----------



## Persephone The Dread

So angry, or maybe I would be moreso but kind of tired/exhausted too so not as much as earlier. And uh shouldn't go into anymore detail than that.


----------



## alenclaud

I am absolutely exhausted, event though it´s Monday. It´s going to be a long week.


----------



## harrison

I'm not too bad this morning. Might go down to the shop and get some of that crispy bread and some Jarlsberg cheese. I love that stuff.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I'm in a bad mood. I'm feeling very annoyed today for multiple reasons. :bah


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Super hyped up right now.


----------



## Citrine79

Not feeling it today. Staring at the pile of work on my desk and just cannot focus. Guess my apathy toward my employer is in full force today.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## tea111red

bracing myself for this awful noise.


----------



## SofaKing

Nervous. Day 2 of land shopping. I hope there's a no-brainer standout so it makes the decision for me.


----------



## Suchness

Not too bad. I get my morning high then I'm out of it for several hours and then feel better at night, just in time for sleep.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Allergic to life.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Had a lovely day out but damn, I need a woman to do these things with. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. 

I could easily organize a meet and get people to do stuff with me, but it's not what I want to do so won't feel satisfied at the end of the day.


----------



## SparklingWater

Tired and bored. I actually feel really numb and disconnected re: this whole switching therapists thing. 100% not feeling all my sadness atm. Will be super fun when it hits me. Yay! Also kinda intimidated abt this whole job/move thing. Idk. We shall see. My head is too mush atm to really think abt it.


----------



## Graeme1988

In a $h!%* mood. Tae be honest, am at the point where offing masel' would be the better option. Sick of having to tolerate muh family constantly argument, constantly being judgemental, dour, miserable c__ts. :mad But if ah say how am feelin' it aw: _"Oh, it's like that ataw, Graeme... yer wrong"_, and I'm the bad yin, somehow. Then again, ah did grow up in a household where wimmin were perceived as superior and men... well, they were _"useless f__kin' [email protected]$%@*!s"_ Which is a grand, lovely message tae give yer only son to internalise, innit?


----------



## love is like a dream

when you describe social anxiety to some people, they don't mean to be rude, yet they are like: (what the fk are you talking about?)

those pple are extremely outgoing and extremely confident, and thus _annoying_(at least in my book)

you don't know why exactly they are extremely confident. no talent, no charisma, normal everyday face/ sht body,etc

they are extremely confident/talkative because nobody knows why. definitely some people were born with ZERO anxiety shyness.

i love watching tv interviews ( i see hundreds of people like that on tv/youtube).


----------



## SparklingWater

Feel silly cause I knew hours ago I wasn't feeling up to this **** today, yet I still drove out there. Got there and turned right back around cause there was just no way I felt like dealing with pple. Oh well, tomorrow's a new day. Actually looking forward to tomorrow night though lol. Different pple, different vibe.


----------



## harrison

Coincidence said:


> *when you describe social anxiety to some people, they don't mean to be rude, yet they are like: (what the fk are you talking about?)
> *
> those pple are extremely outgoing and extremely confident, and thus _annoying_(at least in my book)
> 
> you don't know why exactly they are extremely confident. no talent, no charisma, normal everyday face/ sht body,etc
> 
> they are extremely confident/talkative because nobody knows why. definitely some people were born with ZERO anxiety shyness.
> 
> i love watching tv interviews ( i see hundreds of people like that on tv/youtube).


I've noticed that too. Most people have absolutely no idea what social anxiety is.

I actually think it's not worth even trying to explain it - except maybe to people that are really important to you. But even they probabaly won't understand it, not unless they've felt a bit of it themselves.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Misanthropic.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored and lonely.


----------



## Graeme1988

So glad I don’t use Facebook... my family that have accounts on the site just seem to use Facebook as a means of talking $h!% about and slagging each other off. Which causes childish tantrums to occur in real life. :sad :mad It’s f__kin’ pathetic.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Frustrated, trapped. Complete waste of time being on here. Get nothing from it.


----------



## Citrine79

Struggling with a bunch of things today. Sad I am unable to outside at lunchtime as it is once again gloomy and cool after a nice day yesterday. Been a long time since there was more than one nice, warm day in a row here and that is just adding to my already bad mood.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

I'm extremely bored.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> I'm extremely bored.


Sick of being bored to death!

I had a good day out yesterday but today I'm back to feeling bored to death and lonely again, because I'm back at square one.

I'm trying and failing to constantly fend off loneliness and boredom!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kind of annoyed. The old man has a new woman over here. I'm here by myself with her and he's at work. Well, I went back to his room to get my shower. Noticed she had the air conditioner on. Yea, seems fair. Lol She doesn't pay bills or live here. I live here and pay part of the bill, yet I can't leave the AC on for more than 15 or 20 minutes if he's here without him getting mad. She's had it on for hours, too. She should pay part of the bill if it skyrockets. Bet it'll go up high because of her. 

What's strange is the heater can be on all Winter all day long without a problem but nope, not the AC. I turned it on earlier for like 15 minutes since I heard her turn his on. It's only fair. Haha. I pay part of the bill so I don't see why it matters if I turn it on. Only someone cold hearted would let me sweat all day everyday in the Summer if I'm paying part of the bill. It gets so hot here that I take cold showers everyday in the Summer. I do in Spring, too but of course it gets hotter in the Summer. 

Oh well I guess.


----------



## Skygrinder

Feeling empty.

Working 12h/day steady. Doing fine in a lot of ways, but...

- Love life is non-existant. 
- Anxiety is still up there. 
- My energy levels aren't quite high. (Come home, change clothes. Put on some chill, lo fi music, get a drink, sit on the floor and lean back on the side of the bed. *When I could be doing things to improve my life*, like studying, working out...)


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Skygrinder said:


> Feeling empty.
> 
> Working 12h/day steady. Doing fine in a lot of ways, but...
> 
> - Love life is non-existant.
> - Anxiety is still up there.
> - My energy levels aren't quite high. (Come home, change clothes. Put on some chill, lo fi music, get a drink, sit on the floor and lean back on the side of the bed. *When I could be doing things to improve my life*, like studying, working out...)


No one should have to work 12 hours a day. You've got no time for anything else doing that.


----------



## Skygrinder

Pete Beale said:


> No one should have to work 12 hours a day. You've got no time for anything else doing that.


I have to where I live, unless I want to work just for food/bills. Then 8 hours is fine, but I need clothes too and there's other expenses, as well.

Say I have 26 work days in a month (pretty normal for me, working Saturdays too). If I work just 8 hours, that's 208 work hours, getting me 35360 rsd, and that's around 300€/month. Fine for just food and bills, but not much more of anything else. Especially since I have to buy food for work, as well. Now that winter is over and electricity bill is a bit lower, I have a little bit of breathing room, but it's not much.

It's basically slavery, to be honest. But I don't have much of a choice.


----------



## Crisigv

Pete Beale said:


> Sick of being bored to death!
> 
> I had a good day out yesterday but today I'm back to feeling bored to death and lonely again, because I'm back at square one.
> 
> I'm trying and failing to constantly fend off loneliness and boredom!


Yeah, it sucks


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Skygrinder said:


> I have to where I live, unless I want to work just for food/bills. Then 8 hours is fine, but I need clothes too and there's other expenses, as well.
> 
> Say I have 26 work days in a month (pretty normal for me, working Saturdays too). If I work just 8 hours, that's 208 work hours, getting me 35360 rsd, and that's around 300€/month. Fine for just food and bills, but not much more of anything else. Especially since I have to buy food for work, as well. Now that winter is over and electricity bill is a bit lower, I have a little bit of breathing room, but it's not much.
> 
> It's basically slavery, to be honest. But I don't have much of a choice.


I wish you had more of a choice though. :frown2:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> Yeah, it sucks


:frown2:


----------



## tea111red

not all that motivated.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Stressed, but learning a lot.


----------



## harrison

Horrible. Probably low level mania but also terrible anxiety earlier on. Had to try and do one of those mindfullness videos and it did actually help.

Confusion - hard to know whether its just me (probably) or the meds or both.

Took some of my medication and half a Valium. Still have tingles all down my arms from the mania. General restlessness.

Will go to see this nice Gp tomorrow - she won't have the faintest idea what to do but she can at least organise the referral to the new shrink, who might know something.


----------



## tea111red

bored.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison

Sorry to hear that you are going through all that.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @harrison
> 
> Sorry to hear that you are going through all that.


Thanks a lot mate - I'll be okay. Things have been a bit difficult lately but I'll be allright. I'm going to ask them for some different medication.

Hope things are okay with you mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks a lot mate - I'll be okay. Things have been a bit difficult lately but I'll be allright. I'm going to ask them for some different medication.
> 
> Hope things are okay with you mate.


You're welcome.

I hope a change in medication helps.

I'm ok, thank you for asking.

I figured the library like system out and realised I missed something that I had to look elsewhere for, which helps to locate what I'm looking for in the books.

Your advice of asking someone reminded me of what someone said to me when asked how it worked in the past.

So you helped, thank you.


----------



## Ekardy

Feeling really lonely.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> I hope a change in medication helps.
> 
> I'm ok, thank you for asking.
> 
> *I figured the library like system out* and realised I missed something that I had to look elsewhere for, which helps to locate what I'm looking for in the books.
> 
> Your advice of asking someone reminded me of what someone said to me when asked how it worked in the past.
> 
> So you helped, thank you.


That's okay mate - glad you worked it out.


----------



## harrison

Ekardy said:


> Feeling really lonely.


That's no good. Can you take your little dog for a walk - that might help a bit.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Feeling really lonely.


Awww. :hug

Like @harrison has said, try not to stay still. Tend to overthink.

Keep moving, keeping mind occupied with something else.

Helps with when wanting to sleep too and are stressed.



harrison said:


> That's okay mate - glad you worked it out.


Happier that I did.


----------



## Hopeful12

Gosh you guys are nice to each other. Like a breath of fresh air, for me to read this.


----------



## Ekardy

harrison said:


> That's no good. Can you take your little dog for a walk - that might help a bit.





Mondo_Fernando said:


> Awww. :hug
> 
> Like @harrison has said, try not to stay still. Tend to overthink.
> 
> Keep moving, keeping mind occupied with something else.
> 
> Helps with when wanting to sleep too and are stressed.


Thanks. I can't walk the dog now, it's 1am here.
I'll be fine, just need to let this feeling pass. It's that feeling you sometimes get when you wish you had a person next to you to like talk to and stuff. I don't know. =\


----------



## Shadowweaver

Absolutely fantastic! Just returned from a week-long road trip to the southeast. Reached the southernmost point of the continental US, Key West, and felt on top of the world. 

Made a fool of myself when I lost my credit card after an oil change and had the service workers search for it for half an hour, before we found it on the back seat of my car... That was embarrassing, but the guys were totally cool with it and we clapped on each other's shoulders with smiles. One more example showing that other people are not nearly as hard on us as we are on ourselves.



Ekardy said:


> Feeling really lonely.


Hey now, come here. :hug We're all here for you!


----------



## Ekardy

Shadowweaver said:


> Absolutely fantastic! Just returned from a week-long road trip to the southeast. Reached the southernmost point of the continental US, Key West, and felt on top of the world.
> 
> Made a fool of myself when I lost my credit card after an oil change and had the service workers search for it for half an hour, before we found it on the back seat of my car... That was embarrassing, but the guys were totally cool with it and we clapped on each other's shoulders with smiles. One more example showing that other people are not nearly as hard on us as we are on ourselves.
> 
> Hey now, come here. :hug We're all here for you!


Thank you.

And Key West! I grew up in South Florida, went to the Keys often. Glad to hear you enjoyed it.


----------



## Shadowweaver

Ekardy said:


> Thank you.
> 
> And Key West! I grew up in South Florida, went to the Keys often. Glad to hear you enjoyed it.


You are lucky: South Florida is a paradise. :smile2: Key West, Miami, Tampa... Beautiful land!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Thanks. I can't walk the dog now, it's 1am here.
> I'll be fine, just need to let this feeling pass. It's that feeling you sometimes get when you wish you had a person next to you to like talk to and stuff. I don't know. =\


You're welcome.

I hope it passes and feel better.

Try cuddling the dog to see if it helps.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> bored.


****less, already lol


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> ****less, already lol


yeah, and this dump site doesn't even help alleviate the boredom much anymore.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> yeah, and this dump site doesn't even help alleviate the boredom much anymore.


Internet doesn't cut it for me period anymore. It's a bad habit, mostly.

I'm enjoying it a bit more at the mo because I'm planning my day trip to London.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired of being reminded that I don't belong in this world.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Internet doesn't cut it for me period anymore. It's a bad habit, mostly.
> 
> I'm enjoying it a bit more at the mo because I'm planning my day trip to London.


are you going w/ someone?


----------



## 3stacks

Very depressed but kinda calm from a lorazepam I took before group therapy. I'd take em every day if I could. In a higher dose too lol


----------



## funnynihilist

Dreading my dentist appointment in a while. Six dentist appointments in two months.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> are you going w/ someone?


Taking my mom. I was going to ask the last woman I had a day out with if she wanted to go, but I owe this to my mom, the only woman who loves me lol. It's a belated birthday gift for her as well as I didn't get her much.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Taking my mom. I was going to ask the last woman I had a day out with if she wanted to go, but I owe this to my mom, the only woman who loves me lol. It's a belated birthday gift for her as well as I didn't get her much.


oh, that's nice.....what are you going to do?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> oh, that's nice.....what are you going to do?


So far, The view from The Shard, Borough Market, Buckingham Palace and Downing Street. Was going to book Afternoon Tea at Vertigo 42 cocktail Bar instead of The Shard view, because it's the same price and you get great views, but it's sold out.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Up and down and up and down... :crying: I want more highs but I need perfection and I hate myself! Hmpf.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> So far, The view from The Shard, Borough Market, Buckingham Palace and Downing Street. Was going to book Afternoon Tea at Vertigo 42 cocktail Bar instead of The Shard view, because it's the same price and you get great views, but it's sold out.


sounds fun!


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> sounds fun!


And then I'll be depressed again the next day because it's impossible to fill the void inside for longer than five mins. :b


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> And then I'll be depressed again the next day because it's impossible to fill the void inside for longer than five mins. :b


just plan another trip, lol.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> just plan another trip, lol.


I would love to keep planing endless trips until death. That's the dream. :smile2:


----------



## SparklingWater

Amazing. Kinda don't like it cause I have that tendency to worry it won't last (and do that inane grasping to keep the positive emotion around longer instead of just accepting feelings change, no need to be happy all the time or dread it waning and all that jazz.) At least I'm not on that spiritual bypass mess anymore so it's progress.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored, lonely.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Bored, lonely, and horny. What a wonderful combo.


----------



## 3stacks

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Bored, lonely, and horny. What a wonderful combo.


 I know one thing that can solve all of that. At least for a few minutes muaha


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

3stacks said:


> iAmCodeMonkey said:
> 
> 
> 
> Bored, lonely, and horny. What a wonderful combo.
> 
> 
> 
> I know one thing that can solve all of that. At least for a few minutes muaha
Click to expand...

Lol what is it?


----------



## 3stacks

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> iAmCodeMonkey said:
> 
> 
> 
> Bored, lonely, and horny. What a wonderful combo.
> 
> 
> 
> I know one thing that can solve all of that. At least for a few minutes muaha
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Lol what is it?
Click to expand...

 video call me and I'll show you lmaoo


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Bored, lonely, and horny. What a wonderful combo.


I'm sorry :squeeze

Although if I'm being honest, I'm right there with you feeling all 3 at the moment.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> iAmCodeMonkey said:
> 
> 
> 
> Bored, lonely, and horny. What a wonderful combo.
> 
> 
> 
> I'm sorry
> 
> Although if I'm being honest, I'm right there with you feeling all 3 at the moment.
Click to expand...

Oh man, you too eh? "Gives Ekardy a big squishy hug"

On a side note...

Realizing that I am 30 and never made it to first base with a woman does not help things. I mean, I have accounts on three different porn video sites for a reason lol


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I hate being painted black.


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Oh man, you too eh? "Gives Ekardy a big squishy hug"
> 
> On a side note...
> 
> Realizing that I am 30 and never made it to first base with a woman does not help things. I mean, I have accounts on three different porn video sites for a reason lol


:lol Hey at least you got an offer up there by the egg man...sunny side up eggs man?

And thank you for the hug too. 

And even if I had an offer, someone interested in a relationship...I'm not ready.
So I'm stuck feeling all three for now. :rain


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> I hate being painted black.







Your post reminds me of that song.


----------



## 3stacks

Yeah monkey I'll show you my yolky eggs


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

3stacks said:


> Yeah monkey I'll show you my yolky eggs


Lmao you are crazy dude


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Bored, lonely.





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Bored, lonely, and horny. What a wonderful combo.





Ekardy said:


> I'm sorry :squeeze
> 
> Although if I'm being honest, I'm right there with you feeling all 3 at the moment.







A song that reminds me of what you are going through.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Your post reminds me of that song.


Yeah.

I hate black and white thinking to an extreme level, by someone I cared about massively. Painted black until I'm literally dead and they are. Devalued and discarded!


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Mondo_Fernando said:


> A song that reminds me of what you are going through.


**** needs to hurry up before I'm dead. lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison , feeling that haven't remembered this rock band from Australia in the 80's.






More known for that song.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Yeah.
> 
> I hate black and white thinking to an extreme level, by someone I cared about massively. Painted black until I'm literally dead and they are. Devalued and discarded!





Pete Beale said:


> **** needs to hurry up before I'm dead. lol


Like this bloke, takes meeting many before finding the one.






The end gets me laughing every time.

You'll definitely know that she is the one. :lol

Oh dear. :lol


----------



## Fun Spirit

Concern and sadden. I saw a picture of my old high school friend on Facebook. They always been on the plus size due to being big boned but now.....well people change in life physally let's just say. I'm just concern about their health. It sadden me. I'm not in contact with them but I think my other classmate is. I might ask him to tell him for me. It is none of my business to how and what they eat but this guy and I go way back. Since the 6th grade. I'm just kind of hurt from what I had saw.

_Sent from my Beef-F-F using Tapatalk_


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> iAmCodeMonkey said:
> 
> 
> 
> Oh man, you too eh? "Gives Ekardy a big squishy hug"
> 
> On a side note...
> 
> Realizing that I am 30 and never made it to first base with a woman does not help things. I mean, I have accounts on three different porn video sites for a reason lol
> 
> 
> 
> Hey at least you got an offer up there by the egg man...sunny side up eggs man?
> 
> And thank you for the hug too.
> 
> And even if I had an offer, someone interested in a relationship...I'm not ready.
> So I'm stuck feeling all three for now.
Click to expand...

Heheh I would rather have a woman offer that at this point, rather than egg man over there, no offense to 3tacks lmao

No problem about the hug honey, you deserve it  

As for me and relationships...

I would rather be alone than with someone who isn't good for me.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Like this bloke, takes meeting many before finding the one.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The end gets me laughing every time.
> 
> You'll definitely know that she is the one. :lol
> 
> Oh dear. :lol


Can't go through all that when you have avpd lol. Having my arse squeezed at some point would be a miracle. lol


----------



## chloewatts

I'm feeling lonely and guilty.. I skipped my last physics class of the semester because I was tired and now I feel like crap because I never skip classes (yeah I'm fun like that lol)


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Pete Beale said:


> Can't go through all that when you have avpd lol. Having my arse squeezed at some point would be a miracle. lol


True.

Can tell on her face beforehand that she was being a bit "cheeky" (joking around with him). :lol

All for laughs, but his dance just topped it off as far as laughs go. :lol


----------



## Maslow

Frustrated. I'm on hold with Sprint right now. But our bill will be cut in half.


----------



## SparklingWater

So very relieved but equally disappointed. Whyyyyyyyy couldn't this have ended up closer to my home? Arrrrgh. Everything is pointing to moving. Sometimes life makes the decision for you. Shrug.


----------



## rabidfoxes

Rough. Lots of grieving (and drinking and gaming, alternative universe, hello!). Not sure what to do with any part of my life atm, but don't want to go full on ostrich.


----------



## Shadowweaver

Ekardy said:


> :lol Hey at least you got an offer up there by the egg man...sunny side up eggs man?
> 
> And thank you for the hug too.
> 
> And even if I had an offer, someone interested in a relationship...I'm not ready.
> So I'm stuck feeling all three for now. :rain


One of my friends felt the same. Then she met someone who made her reconsider, and they are marrying soon...

I don't think a relationship is something you ever get "ready" to. It's always a world of responsibility and hardship, in addition to all the positive things. You either go through them and persevere, or it doesn't work out.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Heheh I would rather have a woman offer that at this point, rather than egg man over there, no offense to 3tacks lmao
> 
> No problem about the hug honey, you deserve it
> 
> As for me and relationships...
> 
> I would rather be alone than with someone who isn't good for me.


Yup, that's a good attitude to have. Desperation can lead to rash decisions that, in the long run, are going to doom you. It's better to keep cool and act less on emotions, and more on pragmatic considerations.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

:yes


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @harrison , feeling that haven't remembered this rock band from Australia in the 80's.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> More known for that song.


Hi mate - yeah I remember Noiseworks. I listened to a lot of music back then - but moreso in the 70's - in my late teens. I used to sit around pining for one thing or another.

Once I got to my 20's I was a lot busier so less time for music although I still heard a lot on the radio in the car.


----------



## Ekardy

Shadowweaver said:


> One of my friends felt the same. Then she met someone who made her reconsider, and they are marrying soon...
> 
> I don't think a relationship is something you ever get "ready" to. It's always a world of responsibility and hardship, in addition to all the positive things. You either go through them and persevere, or it doesn't work out.


It's more of, I'm still getting over all the emotions (good and bad) from my previous "relationship"; I don't want to bring it into my next relationship.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Hi mate - yeah I remember Noiseworks. I listened to a lot of music back then - but moreso in the 70's - in my late teens. I used to sit around pining for one thing or another.
> 
> Once I got to my 20's I was a lot busier so less time for music although I still heard a lot on the radio in the car.







Sounds like you would be into 20's when the rock goddesses were about, like above.

They are still rocking away in 2019, as were in Jamaica in February and even though are older, still sound the same and bring the same energy to their songs.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sounds like you would be into 20's when the rock goddesses were about, like above.
> 
> They are still rocking away in 2019, as were in Jamaica in February and even though are older, still sound the same and bring the same energy to their songs.


I liked a lot of stuff back then - anything from Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple  to people like Wendy Waldman. She was sort of like West Coast soft rock/country music. I think she still performs too - I used to like her stuff a lot.

Good for sitting there getting over old girlfriends. :roll (everything seemed like the end of the world back then - but that was half the fun)


----------



## harrison

Speaking of Led Zeppelin - this is a really good live version of Stairway to Heaven I came across recently.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I liked a lot of stuff back then - anything from Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple  to people like Wendy Waldman. She was sort of like West Coast soft rock/country music. I think she still performs too - I used to like her stuff a lot.
> 
> Good for sitting there getting over old girlfriends. :roll (everything seemed like the end of the world back then - but that was half the fun)


I like her songs too, but are slow, so add that to the when crying list of songs to listen to.






I think most that remember Led Zepplin, will remember this song when wanting to be feeling in love.






Deep Purple, this song as are perfect strangers until meet that special someone. Also like those old Porsches, as met someone with a blue one last year.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> It's more of, I'm still getting over all the emotions (good and bad) from my previous "relationship"; I don't want to bring it into my next relationship.


Good plan. I can relate to this also. :hugs


----------



## Shadowweaver

Ekardy said:


> It's more of, I'm still getting over all the emotions (good and bad) from my previous "relationship"; I don't want to bring it into my next relationship.


Fair enough. We all need a bit of time to ourselves every now and then.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Speaking of Led Zeppelin - this is a really good live version of Stairway to Heaven I came across recently.


Feeling like I like that.


----------



## Citrine79

Another day, another migrane *sigh*. And I am not busy at all at work today so that means it is going to be a very long day. Gloomy and rainy again today making me feel even worse.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## SparklingWater

In a really good mood. Looking forward to the day.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored and lonely, obviously.


----------



## CNikki

Just want to sleep throughout this weekend. Ideal enough for me.


----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

Basically. I wish you loved me. The day i first saw you. I was terrified. Because I knew you were the one for me. I was intimidated i finally found the one so I ran from you. Now I'm the one running to you. But I guess, you don't want anything to do with me.

I'm trying so so hard to get over you. 8 long months i've been trying. But fate brings your face back into my mind and I just cant shake it. I wish i could.

I've done all in my power to bring you back and this is it. It's done. You aint coming back. I know i need to get over you and i'm gonna try. it's so difficult.


----------



## 3stacks

Same old stuff. Suicidal, lonely, sad, blah, blah.


----------



## SparklingWater

Course it makes sense to grab 2 oreos 3 minutes before my fast begins. Lmao. I'm amused and ashamed. What am I gonna do with myself? I'm a very silly woman.


----------



## Suchness

Out of it, had a weird night. Couldn't fall asleep for ages, slept an hour and then more weird half asleep, feeling like crap hours. Maybe got a couple of solid sleep. Was supposed to go out for my friends birthday today but don't know if I can now. I want to because it's good for me but I might be too ****ed now.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I just watched a documentary on Cats... I am getting emotional now. Prepare the waterworks! lol



3stacks said:


> Same old stuff. Suicidal, lonely, sad, blah, blah.


 :rub


----------



## Fun Spirit

Suchness said:


> Out of it, had a weird night. Couldn't fall asleep for ages, slept an hour and then more weird half asleep, feeling like crap hours. Maybe got a couple of solid sleep. Was supposed to go out for my friends birthday today but don't know if I can now. I want to because it's good for me but I might be too ****ed now.


That stink: (


----------



## SofaKing

Nervous. I just put in a verbal offer on a dream property...and it was a fair, but low offer...hopefully they'll negotiate fairly.


----------



## Suchness

Fun Spirit said:


> That stink: (


It stinks alright but I'm ok, I'll get over it. Days like this just put things into perspective, teaches me patience. I use my pain as my spiritual practice, it teaches me alot about myself. But, I don't want to be here forever, gotta keep taking the little steps on my healing journey.


----------



## harrison

SofaKing said:


> Nervous. I just put in a verbal offer on a dream property...and it was a fair, but low offer...hopefully they'll negotiate fairly.


I'd find that pretty nerve-wracking too tbh. Is it a country property?


----------



## SofaKing

harrison said:


> I'd find that pretty nerve-wracking too tbh. Is it a country property?


Yes...101 acres with woods, pasture, and river frontage. In the Appalachian range in eastern Tennessee.


----------



## harrison

SofaKing said:


> Yes...101 acres with woods, pasture, and river frontage. In the Appalachian range in eastern Tennessee.


Wow - sounds fantastic mate. Does it already have a house on it or will you build something?


----------



## SofaKing

harrison said:


> Wow - sounds fantastic mate. Does it already have a house on it or will you build something?


Has a barn, storage shed, smokehouse, well house, and a home in badly need to rehabbing. Property already has electric, well water, and septic. So...infrastructure is there.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Suchness said:


> It stinks alright but I'm ok, I'll get over it. Days like this just put things into perspective, teaches me patience. I use my pain as my spiritual practice, it teaches me alot about myself. But, I don't want to be here forever, gotta keep taking the little steps on my healing journey.


.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Nervous. I just put in a verbal offer on a dream property...and it was a fair, but low offer...hopefully they'll negotiate fairly.


Good luck!


----------



## SofaKing

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Good luck!


Thanks...it's exactly the kind of thing I'll fret about even if I have no control over it.


----------



## harrison

SofaKing said:


> Has a barn, storage shed, smokehouse, well house, and a home in badly need to rehabbing. Property already has electric, well water, and septic. So...infrastructure is there.


Sounds good - hope you can get it for a good price.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Thanks...it's exactly the kind of thing I'll fret about even if I have no control over it.


Try not to worry about it, you should be fine.


----------



## SofaKing

harrison said:


> Sounds good - hope you can get it for a good price.


Thanks...I hope so too...it's already more than I wanted to spend, but it had the best features out of anything I looked at.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SofaKing said:


> Nervous. I just put in a verbal offer on a dream property...and it was a fair, but low offer...hopefully they'll negotiate fairly.


Look out for the deed scams making the rounds in the US.

Better if can find one with a Torrens title, as is usually government guaranteed.


----------



## SofaKing

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Look out for the deed scams making the rounds in the US.
> 
> Better if can find one with a Torrens title, as is usually government guaranteed.


Thanks....it's good to know something about everything.

Good tip.


----------



## PandaBearx

My head feels like a jumbled mess.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SofaKing said:


> Thanks....it's good to know something about everything.
> 
> Good tip.


You're welcome.

Also make sure it has been surveyed and check for hidden encumbrances.


----------



## SofaKing

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> Also make sure it has been surveyed and check for hidden encumbrances.


Dude...you may not be aware, but that's all part of the standard process in working with a Title company in the US.

You don't just buy property handing over stacks of cash in a bar somewhere.

But, again, thanks for the advice.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SofaKing said:


> Dude...you may not be aware, but that's all part of the standard process in working with a Title company in the US.
> 
> You don't just buy property handing over stacks of cash in a bar somewhere.
> 
> But, again, thanks for the advice.


You're welcome.

I know, but can't always can rely on someone conveyancing it properly, as some can be dodgy or make mistakes.

Always good practice when buying any property to check it out yourself, especially the documentation if deed based, where still limited to parcels.


----------



## SofaKing

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> I know, but can't always can rely on someone conveyancing it properly, as some can be dodgy or make mistakes.
> 
> Always good practice when buying any property to check it out yourself, especially the documentation if deed based, where still limited to parcels.


Ok...yeah.

Oh...and Title insurance covers that as it's the Title company's responsibility to do that...for a fee you pay anyway.

Me pounding the pavement to do the job of the experts isn't prudent.

Pssttt... I've held a real estate license before.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SofaKing said:


> Ok...yeah.
> 
> Oh...and Title insurance covers that as it's the Title company's responsibility to do that...for a fee you pay anyway.
> 
> Me pounding the pavement to do the job of the experts isn't prudent.
> 
> Pssttt... I've held a real estate license before.


Pssttt, ok.

Just you being nervous pointed towards you were worried about something.


----------



## Crisigv

Heartbroken. I want my kitty back. You still had so much time left. :cry


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Okayish. Went to Walmart to do grocery shopping again but felt like everyone was giving me odd looks. I think it was cause of my work uniform and plus my shirt was still tucked in. 

For someone that's ****ty at math, I'm pretty good at budgeting how much I buy in my head. I can't do math in my head for nothing but usually know around how much I spend. Like today, I figured I'd spend 70-75 dollars on groceries and spent 69. Yea, groceries aren't exactly cheap even if I buy several things for less than $3. Seems like I'm usually off $1-$5. That's pretty good for being not so great at math. 

Well, I won't be spending anymore money other than on drinks until Tuesday or something. Had to save money for the light bill.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SofaKing said:


> Ok...yeah.


:yes



SofaKing said:


> Oh...and Title insurance covers that as it's the Title company's responsibility to do that...for a fee you pay anyway.


There are title insurance scams doing the rounds in the US.



SofaKing said:


> Me pounding the pavement to do the job of the experts isn't prudent.


That is another red flag.

You never met, confirmed the identity of the owner of the property?



SofaKing said:


> Pssttt... I've held a real estate license before.


Not saying you don't know what you are doing, just these things are sending up red flags.



SofaKing said:


> Has a barn, storage shed, smokehouse, well house, and a home in badly need to rehabbing. Property already has electric, well water, and septic. So...infrastructure is there.


This is the thing that initially raised red flags, as to why the house needed rehabbing. As you most likely already know it sometimes can be related back to permit, related survey or encumbrance issues.

Or no one lived there for a while, so they might have been trying adverse possession, which might point towards that there might be fraud (posing as the real owner, but aren't the real owner) and said to be related to the title insurance scams.

Sometimes they just couldn't afford to or were too old to rehab the house.

It is your choice at the end of the day, as it's your money, your life (none of my business).

Just I'm pointing towards things that might be issues in the future and to double check everything yourself (as you said, you have the expertise to do so).


----------



## donistired

I am feeling ALL the things


----------



## Suchness

Like ****, glad I didn't go.


----------



## Blue Dino

Irrelevant. Though I am aware of the fact that how I feel is what I really am.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Holy ****, here comes the ****ing tsunami of depression... I hate when I get a bit happy/hopeful about something and then a humongous wave comes to drown me 

Why am I such a POS, I want to be "perfect" or ideal so I can get on with my life and all my projects instead of broken goods... Can't do anything with this piece of crap junk hardware if you know what I mean..


----------



## tea111red

@SofaKing

hope things go smoothly for you. your new property sounds nice.


----------



## SofaKing

tea111red said:


> @SofaKing
> 
> hope things go smoothly for you. your new property sounds nice.


Thanks...I appreciate it.

I'm trying to remain excited about it despite being an idiot who is getting scammed.


----------



## tea111red

SofaKing said:


> Thanks...I appreciate it.
> 
> I'm trying to remain excited about it despite being an idiot who is getting scammed.


sure, no problem.  hopefully you can manage to not focus too much on that crap.


----------



## tea111red

Blue Dino said:


> Irrelevant. Though I am aware of the fact that how I feel is what I really am.


how is your health? i wondered about you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SofaKing said:


> Thanks...I appreciate it.
> 
> I'm trying to remain excited about it despite being an idiot who is getting scammed.


Sorry if I upset you in any way.

To be honest, I shouldn't have said anything and just be happy for you, regardless of the outcome. It could be nothing and get a good property.


----------



## TheForestWasDark

terrible, thanks for the concern!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like the reject I am, and always will be.


----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

Feeling all alone without a friend you feel like dyeing.


----------



## Dissipated

Pathetic,reading old conversations with my ex.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lonely and bored.


----------



## Ekardy

I feel okay today. Movie and sushi, makes me feel good any day.


----------



## CNikki

Ekardy said:


> I feel okay today. Movie and sushi, makes me feel good any day.


Not too much wasabi with the sushi, I'd hope.


----------



## Ekardy

CNikki said:


> Not too much wasabi with the sushi, I'd hope.


:lol That's one of my favorite scenes.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Well, I shed a few tears at work today but did it when nobody would see me. Guess I had a bit of a rough day until the last 3 hours of work. So many things I have to remember and I get told like more than 30 times everyday I did this or that wrong. It sucks. I like my new manager but at times, it's just like I'm trying my best or I know I did that right but the rule gets changed again to something the complete opposite and it's really getting to me. I almost lost my mind today. Then I straight up told my manager I don't think I could be an assistant produce manager. She said don't ever say you can't do something. I mean yea I guess.


----------



## 0589471

Invisible. Annoying. Useless.


----------



## Suchness

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Invisible. Annoying. Useless.


You're never annoying to me buddy boy.


----------



## Karsten

I'm so sleepy. Sucks I can't even nap without hearing a shrieking kid. I wish I could soundproof the walls.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Karsten said:


> I'm so sleepy. Sucks I can't even nap without hearing a shrieking kid. I wish I could soundproof the walls.


Come sleep here :lol


----------



## Suchness

Let's all go to Sammy's for a slumber party.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Invisible. Annoying. Useless.


:hug


----------



## rockyraccoon

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Invisible. Annoying. Useless.


You are neither of those three :hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Suchness said:


> Let's all go to Sammy's for a slumber party.


First you invite people to bathe with us, now you invite people to sleep over.


----------



## kesker

rhythmically challenged and disgustingly stationary but oddly slumber party-ready.


----------



## Suchness

SamanthaStrange said:


> First you invite people to bathe with us, now you invite people to sleep over.


What the hell is wrong with you man!? I'm trying to get us to have some fun, to bring some magic into your life!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Suchness said:


> What the hell is wrong with you man!? I'm trying to get us to have some fun, to bring some magic into your life!


Well, if there's one thing I'm not, it's magical. I would just end up being ignored while everyone else has fun without me. I'm just a reject after all.


----------



## Suchness

SamanthaStrange said:


> Well, if there's one thing I'm not, it's magical. I would just end up being ignored while everyone else has fun without me. I'm just a reject after all.


You will never get ignored at my parties and you will feel the magic.


----------



## rockyraccoon

SamanthaStrange said:


> Well, if there's one thing I'm not, it's magical. I would just end up being ignored while everyone else has fun without me. I'm just a reject after all.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

rockyraccoon said:


>


Prove it. 

Is that Jared Leto?


----------



## rockyraccoon

SamanthaStrange said:


> Prove it.
> 
> Is that Jared Leto?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

rockyraccoon said:


>


Those people look super happy. Will I be that happy if I buy a snuggie? Is the man included?


----------



## rockyraccoon

SamanthaStrange said:


> Those people look super happy. Will I be that happy if I buy a snuggie? Is the man included?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

How I was feeling?

Like I was having a quink pint with the wife, you see, and this chap comes in, like a lunatic. :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling like at the end, oh no.

Run doggy run.


----------



## Ekardy

How one thing can easily change your mood. Make you feel worthless, stupid, feeling like what's the point of still being here? I just want to stop breathing.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> How one thing can easily change your mood. Make you feel worthless, stupid, feeling like what's the point of still being here? I just want to stop breathing.


I am so sorry you feel this way. :rub:hug:squeeze


----------



## blue2

Like a marshmallow & I'm about to get eaten, but I guess it is my destiny.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Feeling like at the end, oh no.
> 
> Run doggy run.


I feel sorry for the doggy, he is so cute! :grin2:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

BleedingHearts said:


> Here if you want to talk


I second this.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> How one thing can easily change your mood. Make you feel worthless, stupid, feeling like what's the point of still being here? I just want to stop breathing.


:hug



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I feel sorry for the doggy, he is so cute! :grin2:


Doggy is. :yes

Just the doggy sees it as a game and the cats see it as invading territory.

One thing I learnt is when a cat is in that defending territory mode, even standing in the cats vision to distract them is not good idea, as they can attack you.


----------



## Citrine79

SamanthaStrange said:


> Those people look super happy. Will I be that happy if I buy a snuggie? Is the man included?


LOL! Those types of commercials feature some of the worst, lamest acting and product pitching I have ever seen. Must work though cause Snuggies were popular for a long time.

On topic....happy to not be at work today because it is a certain time of the month for me and as always, feel awful during that time. Get to stay in bed and consume carbs all day...win!


----------



## Fun Spirit

I'm in total disbelief. Youtuber Star Girl the Practical Witch said her husband left her. What is shocking is the fact that she was in the process of talking about them being Twin Flames. She had him on her Channel. And from what she told people shr had a rough life up until meeting him. It must had been a BIG BLOW for her. I still repect her somewhat. It just that I can't help but to wonder if her talk is a fake. Especially with the Twin Flame information. I know she received a lot of heat from her subscribers. If her husband/this guy really is her Twin Flame then he will find his way back to her. It could be a separation phrase but still this was a huge blow. A part of me believe she probably bewitched him or something. Probably to even get a lot of followers. Who know.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Fun Spirit said:


> I'm in total disbelief. Youtuber Star Girl the Practical Witch said her husband left her. What is shocking is the fact that she was in the process of talking about them being Twin Flames. She had him on her Channel. And from what she told people shr had a rough life up until meeting him. It must had been a BIG BLOW for her. I still repect her somewhat. It just that I can't help but to wonder if her talk is a fake. Especially with the Twin Flame information. I know she received a lot of heat from her subscribers. If her husband/this guy really is her Twin Flame then he will find his way back to her. It could be a separation phrase but still this was a huge blow. A part of me believe she probably bewitched him or something. Probably to even get a lot of followers. Who know.


I'm not going into details but I just checked out her channel and she's obviously a nutter. Why do you watch that crap?


----------



## Fun Spirit

Pete Beale said:


> I'm not going into details but I just checked out her channel and she's obviously a nutter. Why do you watch that crap?


Because I can watch whatever I want.


----------



## SparklingWater

Um averages to a bit middle of the road I guess. I'm kind of all over the place. Impatient, disappointed, frustrated, but also hopeful, a little excited and pretty clear abt my next steps which feels really good. Not looking forward to the effort necessary to get past this particular hurdle, but I have no choice so guess I'll amble towards it at the speed of meh.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Fun Spirit said:


> Because I can watch whatever I want.


You shouldn't be surprised she's having trouble with her "twin flame". She's probably in the process of devaluing and discarding him.

I've know her half an hour and it's clear as day she's off her rocker with her history.

You've said you think she's fake. I'd go with that. She's another narcissistic youtuber.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm okay. I struggled a bit today but got through it. I was by myself on a busy day and worked during my break, which sucked but I think I did pretty good. Almost impossible to get everything done on my job, though. I was busy right up until it was time for me to go. Funny thing is right after I clocked out for my break I saw my old boss in my department. That caught me by surprise. Even though he doesn't work there anymore, I still felt like I had to work during my break but I was going to anyways. Unless he's coming back to work there.


----------



## Shadowweaver

Received a very positive feedback from the faculty I was meeting at Florida State Uni last week. I thought I made a moron of myself a few times, but everyone actually said that I was super-friendly and pleasant, and that I would be a great fit there.

I was wearing bright-colored Hawaiian clothes all the time during the visit, and at one point one girl walked up to me and said that I looked cool. I was distracted by something and, in confusion, couldn't muster anything more than, "Oh, thanks. This is the first time ever anyone tells me I look cool."


----------



## Ekardy

Worthless and damaged. Why would anyone want me? Anyone that comes near me eventually hates me or tries to get away from me. I'll be lying if I said I feel numb...I wish I was numb at this point.
All I feel now are the invisible scars left by many; their words, their remarks.
I feel the emptiness they left behind.
I don't trust my own emotions anymore, they betray me.


----------



## CNikki

Ekardy said:


> I don't trust my own emotions anymore, they betray me.


That's what sucks about it...emotions are fleeting but sometimes it can build up and then come out of nowhere (seemingly.)

Sorry that you're going through a hard time. Can relate in some ways. :hug


----------



## Ekardy

CNikki said:


> That's what sucks about it...emotions are fleeting but sometimes it can build up and then come out of nowhere (seemingly.)
> 
> Sorry that you're going through a hard time. Can relate in some ways. :hug


I'm sorry you can relate to that. :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Worthless and damaged. Why would anyone want me? Anyone that comes near me eventually hates me or tries to get away from me. I'll be lying if I said I feel numb...I wish I was numb at this point.
> All I feel now are the invisible scars left by many; their words, their remarks.
> I feel the emptiness they left behind.
> I don't trust my own emotions anymore, they betray me.


:hug

I believe it is partly that social etiquette thing we are taught when growing up. Some of us just be ourselves and ignore it sometimes, which makes it difficult to get long with others.

Basically just some things people see in others makes people a bit uncomfortable when we be ourselves.

It happens to everyone, so wouldn't worry too much about it.

All it means is that person is not your match friend or partner wise if being yourself.

You'll find your match is very much like you, so don't think anything of what they do and vice versa.

Finding ones match friend or partner wise is very difficult for everyone.

Friends, partners change throughout ones life, so is just a normal change.

What I'm saying is there is nothing wrong with you, just not a match for whatever reason. You can't get along with everyone.


----------



## Ekardy

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :hug
> 
> I believe it is partly that social etiquette thing we are taught when growing up. Some of us just be ourselves and ignore it sometimes, which makes it difficult to get long with others.
> 
> Basically just some things people see in others makes people a bit uncomfortable when we be ourselves.
> 
> It happens to everyone, so wouldn't worry too much about it.
> 
> All it means is that person is not your match friend or partner wise if being yourself.
> 
> You'll find your match is very much like you, so don't think anything of what they do and vice versa.
> 
> Finding ones match friend or partner wise is very difficult for everyone.
> 
> Friends, partners change throughout ones life, so is just a normal change.
> 
> What I'm saying is there is nothing wrong with you, just not a match for whatever reason. You can't get along with everyone.


Thank you.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Full from a late lunch downtown with mother today. We had east-Indian food at a local restaurant. I payed the bill of course.


----------



## SofaKing

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Full from a late lunch downtown with mother today. We had east-Indian food at a local restaurant. I payed the bill of course.


Interesting. I've had both north and south Indian, but not sure what characterizes eastern tastes.

You're a good son.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Worthless and damaged. Why would anyone want me? Anyone that comes near me eventually hates me or tries to get away from me. I'll be lying if I said I feel numb...I wish I was numb at this point.
> All I feel now are the invisible scars left by many; their words, their remarks.
> I feel the emptiness they left behind.
> I don't trust my own emotions anymore, they betray me.


You are not worthless or damaged, you are awesome. :hug:squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Interesting. I've had both north and south Indian, but not sure what characterizes eastern tastes.
> 
> You're a good son.


The curries were not as spicy as some others, but the flavor was great.

... and thank you, I try my best. :grin2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Thank you.


You're welcome.

When you think about it, that is like a small amount of people out of millions of people out there.

Unless you can say you met them all and it didn't work out, got lots more opportunities out there to make friends or meet potential partners.






We all know Cupid has his off days.

Cupid!!!!!! :lol


----------



## Ekardy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> You are not worthless or damaged, you are awesome. :hug:squeeze


It's hard not to think it at the moment. Thank you though.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> It's hard not to think it at the moment. Thank you though.


Don't worry I know the feeling sometimes, and you are welcome.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, lonely and worried


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Unwanted


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Sad, lonely and worried


:hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Unwanted


:hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Unwanted


:hug:squeeze


----------



## Shadowweaver

Ekardy said:


> Worthless and damaged. Why would anyone want me? Anyone that comes near me eventually hates me or tries to get away from me. I'll be lying if I said I feel numb...I wish I was numb at this point.
> All I feel now are the invisible scars left by many; their words, their remarks.
> I feel the emptiness they left behind.
> I don't trust my own emotions anymore, they betray me.


Those people simply do not appreciate your awesomeness! You are amazing, and the world is a much brighter place for you being here. :rub


----------



## The Library of Emma

Empty, sad, hollow, dreading the near future and what’s soon to come


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug:squeeze


 @Mondo_Fernando

Thanks for the hugs. :squeeze Had a bad night last night.


----------



## Citrine79

Meh...just kind of going thru the motions today. As usual, I have nothing to look forward to and nothing to be excited about.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando
> 
> Thanks for the hugs. :squeeze Had a bad night last night.


You're welcome.

Sorry to hear that. :hug


----------



## 3stacks

Confused, like I don't know what to do. To kill myself or live. Feels like the former but I don't know what to do. It's annoying.


----------



## TheForestWasDark

Infuriated.. I’m trying to find a job for summer but is hard af unless i wanna be a dishwasher fo life.. I hate the system


----------



## Graeme1988

Not sure I'm all that talented, really...  Am no saying that in a self-pitying or self loathing way.

Ah genuinely feel that the end results o' my creativity huv bin total fluke 99% o' the time. Cuz ah rarely huv a set idea in ma mind. Even when ah dae, it's aw: _How tha f__k um ah gonnae dae this...?! F__k !_ Guess that why ah wus taken aback by the reaction ah got when ah started uploading the instrumental music I'd been writin' n' recording to Sound Cloud.

Aye, it's easy to believe in yersel', but actually huvin the confidence to do summit n' dae it well ?! That's what ah struggle with... a lot ! It's no as easy when ye huv'nae really been taught enough to go from inspiration to finished idea.

Dinnae git me wrong, being asked to draw something is great and ah enjoy it, once get over the _"Aw, f__k... here we go !"_ feeling o' dread. Ah just don't think I'm _that_ good. And that's despite me huvin a love of art since I was a wee lad.


----------



## Blue Dino

tea111red said:


> how is your health? i wondered about you.


It's ok, it was another come n go symptom. :stu Still nerve wrecking though.

Thanks. Same to you, that is definitely mutual as well. I always feel like we relate to each other in certain situations as well. Hope you're doing well


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired AF.


3stacks said:


> Confused, like I don't know what to do. To kill myself or live. Feels like the former but I don't know what to do. It's annoying.


 :rub Don't do the former, please.


----------



## Shadowweaver

Graeme1988 said:


> Not sure I'm all that talented, really...  Am no saying that in a self-pitying or self loathing way.
> 
> Ah genuinely feel that the end results o' my creativity huv bin total fluke 99% o' the time. Cuz ah rarely huv a set idea in ma mind. Even when ah dae, it's aw: _How tha f__k um ah gonnae dae this...?! F__k !_ Guess that why ah wus taken aback by the reaction ah got when ah started uploading the instrumental music I'd been writin' n' recording to Sound Cloud.
> 
> Aye, it's easy to believe in yersel', but actually huvin the confidence to do summit n' dae it well ?! That's what ah struggle with... a lot ! It's no as easy when ye huv'nae really been taught enough to go from inspiration to finished idea.
> 
> Dinnae git me wrong, being asked to draw something is great and ah enjoy it, once get over the _"Aw, f__k... here we go !"_ feeling o' dread. Ah just don't think I'm _that_ good. And that's despite me huvin a love of art since I was a wee lad.


I hear ya. I've been in love with instrumental music ever since I was a kid, and I listen to jazz and blues almost 24/7 - but when it comes to actually playing instruments, I'm not that good.

But the thing is, you don't have to be great at your hobbies. What matters is that you put your soul into it and enjoy the process! And besides, we tend to be overly critical of our work, and other people tend to value it much higher than we do. If other people say that your music or other art is good, then it's good.


----------



## tea111red

Blue Dino said:


> It's ok, it was another come n go symptom. :stu Still nerve wrecking though.
> 
> Thanks. Same to you, that is definitely mutual as well. I always feel like we relate to each other in certain situations as well. Hope you're doing well


good....i am glad you are doing ok. yeah, i can definitely relate to you when it comes to certain things, too. thanks.


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> Confused, like I don't know what to do. To kill myself or live. Feels like the former but I don't know what to do. It's annoying.


sorry, man. i wish you could feel more of an incentive to stick around. :squeeze


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Depressed, bored, Lonely. Should change my username to that!


----------



## 3stacks

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Tired AF.
> 
> 
> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Confused, like I don't know what to do. To kill myself or live. Feels like the former but I don't know what to do. It's annoying.
> 
> 
> 
> Don't do the former, please.
Click to expand...




tea111red said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Confused, like I don't know what to do. To kill myself or live. Feels like the former but I don't know what to do. It's annoying.
> 
> 
> 
> sorry, man. i wish you could feel more of an incentive to stick around.
Click to expand...

 thanks guys. I just don't know what to do really. I wish I could describe how I feel it's so weird man I wouldn't even say it's depression because I don't feel low. Idk it's too hard to explain.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> . I wish I could describe how I feel it's so weird man I wouldn't even say it's depression because I don't feel low. Idk it's too hard to explain.


Look at your history with your parents. I believe your father was absent? That can cause other issues but you have to look into this and might not like what you'll find.


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> thanks guys. I just don't know what to do really. I wish I could describe how I feel it's so weird man I wouldn't even say it's depression because I don't feel low. Idk it's too hard to explain.


do you think the meds and not eating as healthy could be contributing some to you not feeling good?


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Depressed, bored, Lonely. Should change my username to that!


The Notorious D B L.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> The Notorious D B L.


I gotta change my username to that. Thanks! LOL


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> I gotta change my username to that. Thanks! LOL


lol


----------



## rabidfoxes

3stacks said:


> Confused, like I don't know what to do. To kill myself or live. Feels like the former but I don't know what to do. It's annoying.


Your life and death are your own, but confusion is not a good time to make life changing/ending decisions. Stay with us. Take it one day at a time.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> lol


Put in a request lol.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Put in a request lol.


haha....i will miss your old name, i think.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> haha....i will miss your old name, i think.


I will have "formally Pete Beale" underneath it, to you remind you. :smile2:


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> I will have "formally Pete Beale" underneath it, to you remind you. :smile2:


haha.

pete beale is some eastenders character? lol


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> haha.
> 
> pete beale is some eastenders character? lol


Yeah. It just randomly popped into my head. I don't watch crappy soaps. I looked up the character Pete Beale a while ago and that doesn't describe my personality, but people might think I based my username on the character, because I have a similar personality. I don't. I know f all about Beale other than he ran a fruit and veg store, has a son named Ian and his ex wife is name Kathy.


----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

People that ghost are just ****e man. I lose so much respect for ghosters. Just be honest and belike "hey i'm just not that into you tbh"....instead of just ghosting like it's okay. The person being ghosted will never know why. Was it something innocent so maybe there technically is still hope like you just got busy/family or is it really because you think i'm disgusting and unbearable? Just be truthful. Ghosters are just so rude and it says more about them than the person being ghosted.

Thank u this has been as a ted talk


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Cool Ice Dude55 said:


> People that ghost are just ****e man. I lose so much respect for ghosters. Just be honest and belike "hey i'm just not that into you tbh"....instead of just ghosting like it's okay. The person being ghosted will never know why. Was it something innocent so maybe there technically is still hope like you just got busy/family or is it really because you think i'm disgusting and unbearable? Just be truthful. Ghosters are just so rude and it says more about them than the person being ghosted.
> 
> Thank u this has been as a ted talk


I got ghosted by someone who complained about being ghosted, and how she was going to question her ghost if she saw him again. I suspect it was all projection and she ghosted him, and now I'll question her if I see her again. I'll do to her what she said she would do to him. People ghost for all sorts of reasons and sometimes you'll never know why.


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> . I wish I could describe how I feel it's so weird man I wouldn't even say it's depression because I don't feel low. Idk it's too hard to explain.
> 
> 
> 
> Look at your history with your parents. I believe your father was absent? That can cause other issues but you have to look into this and might not like what you'll find.
Click to expand...

 oh I know my history and yeah my dad is a complicated one lol


tea111red said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> thanks guys. I just don't know what to do really. I wish I could describe how I feel it's so weird man I wouldn't even say it's depression because I don't feel low. Idk it's too hard to explain.
> 
> 
> 
> do you think the meds and not eating as healthy could be contributing some to you not feeling good?
Click to expand...

 I guess diet could play a part since I eat a lot of junk lol


rabidfoxes said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Confused, like I don't know what to do. To kill myself or live. Feels like the former but I don't know what to do. It's annoying.
> 
> 
> 
> Your life and death are your own, but confusion is not a good time to make life changing/ending decisions. Stay with us. Take it one day at a time.
Click to expand...

 Thank you that's actually very helpful because I think you're right actually that it's not good to make any decisions while I feel confused like this.


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> Yeah. It just randomly popped into my head. I don't watch crappy soaps. I looked up the character Pete Beale a while ago and that doesn't describe my personality, but people might think I based my username on the character, because I have a similar personality. I don't. I know f all about Beale other than he ran a fruit and veg store, has a son named Ian and his ex wife is name Kathy.


i just watched some clip of him going "mental" when his wife left him and another where he beat some guy named Nick up, lol.


----------



## 3stacks

Cool Ice Dude55 said:


> People that ghost are just ****e man. I lose so much respect for ghosters. Just be honest and belike "hey i'm just not that into you tbh"....instead of just ghosting like it's okay. The person being ghosted will never know why. Was it something innocent so maybe there technically is still hope like you just got busy/family or is it really because you think i'm disgusting and unbearable? Just be truthful. Ghosters are just so rude and it says more about them than the person being ghosted.
> 
> Thank u this has been as a ted talk


 I liked your ted talk it was very true. So annoying when people just disappear to and don't bother telling you anything and then ignore you.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

tea111red said:


> i just watched some clip of him going "mental" when she left him and him beating some guy named Nick up, lol.


lol The notorious Nick Cotton was it? I mostly remember Enders from when I was a kid. I read up on Pete Beale and thought great, I hope people don't think I based my name on this characters personality, when it was just a random username change that popped into my head.

I'm probably going to go to the East End of London soon for a salt beef bagel, but plan on not being as unstable as Pete, and behaving myself. :b


----------



## tea111red

Pete Beale said:


> I'm probably going to go to the East End of London soon for a salt beef bagel, but plan on not being as unstable as Pete, and behaving myself. :b


haha, yeah.....no fights w/ nick.


----------



## 3stacks

Pete Beale said:


> tea111red said:
> 
> 
> 
> i just watched some clip of him going "mental" when she left him and him beating some guy named Nick up, lol.
> 
> 
> 
> lol The notorious Nick Cotton was it? I mostly remember Enders from when I was a kid. I read up on Pete Beale and thought great, I hope people don't think I based my name on this characters personality, when it was just a random username change that popped into my head.
> 
> I'm probably going to go to the East End of London soon for a salt beef bagel, but plan on not being as unstable as Pete, and behaving myself.
Click to expand...

 You should have named it after Dirty Den (he was a gangster in there) haha it sounds like a catchy username.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Discontent.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> You should have named it after Dirty Den (he was a gangster in there) haha it sounds like a catchy username.


I think Den's still the worst character in Enders history lol so glad I didn't pick that.

Anyway. I'm now The Notorious Depressed Bored Lonely. :b


----------



## 3stacks

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> You should have named it after Dirty Den (he was a gangster in there) haha it sounds like a catchy username.
> 
> 
> 
> I think Den's still the worst character in Enders history lol so glad I didn't pick that.
> 
> Anyway. I'm now The Notorious Depressed Bored Lonely.
Click to expand...

 I thought it stood for d1ck big and long


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> I thought it stood for d1ck big and long


Unfortunately, nope. lol


----------



## EarthDominator

I am the black robot.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Next there will be a Notorious MSG on the scene. :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

This is one of their best songs.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Next there will be a Notorious MSG on the scene. :lol





Mondo_Fernando said:


> This is one of their best songs.


lol

I need a DSG to eat Peking duck, char sui pork and **** loads of dim sum with, then collapse into an MSG induced snuggle coma together. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> lol
> 
> I need a DSG to eat Peking duck, char sui pork and **** loads of dim sum with, then collapse into an MSG induced snuggle coma together. :b







The bass player joke. :lol


----------



## Graeme1988

Shadowweaver said:


> I hear ya. I've been in love with instrumental music ever since I was a kid, and I listen to jazz and blues almost 24/7 - but when it comes to actually playing instruments, I'm not that good.


Oh, I'm the same when it comes to playing instruments, and I've been playing the guitar for nearly 17 years. Ah still don't think I'm as good as others have told me over the years, though. As for playing the piano, I'm quite a basic player, really. That said, I can't really play anything fancy on either instrument. I'm not the virtuoso that I'm made out to be.



Shadowweaver said:


> But the thing is, you don't have to be great at your hobbies. What matters is that you put your soul into it and enjoy the process! And besides, we tend to be overly critical of our work, and other people tend to value it much higher than we do. If other people say that your music or other art is good, then it's good.


That's very true.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Mondo_Fernando said:


> The bass player joke. :lol


lol

That poor *******. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> lol
> 
> That poor *******. :b


:yes

NYC in winter in those shorts. :O


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry. Better eat something.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :yes
> 
> NYC in winter in those shorts. :O


I did wonder why his legs were more pale than mine tbh. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> I did wonder why his legs were more pale than mine tbh. :b


Downunder in Australia that look is not uncommon for farmers (with a singlet top) in summer heat.

Just funny seeing it in NYC.


----------



## SparklingWater

Words cannot describe how amazing I feel. Really hashing out some of my attachment **** recently and it's making a huge difference in my relationships. And it can only get better. Really looking forward to what lies ahead.


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy as usual


----------



## 3stacks

Annoyed! I wish I didn't bring two chargers here lol. I ask them to use my fast charger and nooo they use the one I asked them not to and I waited for two hours so it would charge fully but no it charged by 30% lol


----------



## copper

Depressed. Must be midlife crisis. Felt like I wasted my life in my field. Should of majored in Psyche or Social Work instead of Human Services. Just ended up being a glorified secretary for a Behavioral Psychologist for 23 years. He is talking about retiring so ends my job. Don't have enough letters behind my name to do anything else thanks to changing in Medicaid rules. Don't have enough money to retire. Luckily, I don't have any debts. Have a good build up of money but not to sustain me until 67. Live where there is very little good jobs. Just working in retail, restaurant, logging. Can't move due to aging parent's here that need my help. My brother won't step up to the plate right now due to being in the Air Force. He is living in Italy right now.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sad. Been crying for like 10 minutes.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Sad. Been crying for like 10 minutes.


Awww, big. :hug


----------



## SpartanSaber

Miserable.


----------



## Euripides

Alone. All alone. No-one's priority. No escape.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Awww, big. :hug


Stopped crying then started crying again. Just letting it all out but I'm done. It's been awhile since I've cried this long. I have not felt like I'm a tough person at all this past week. I'm just not in the mood for anything right now. And my show comes on tonight, which I'm not in the mood for. Didn't even drink anything at work today. I did before I came into work. But only had that one drink in the morning. Been dealing with crap at home, etc.


----------



## 3stacks

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Mondo_Fernando said:
> 
> 
> 
> Awww, big.
> 
> 
> 
> Stopped crying then started crying again. Just letting it all out but I'm done. It's been awhile since I've cried this long. I have not felt like I'm a tough person at all this past week. I'm just not in the mood for anything right now. And my show comes on tonight, which I'm not in the mood for. Didn't even drink anything at work today. I did before I came into work. But only had that one drink in the morning. Been dealing with crap at home, etc.
Click to expand...

 :hug Even tough people cry. Hope you can feel better soon


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Stopped crying then started crying again. Just letting it all out but I'm done. It's been awhile since I've cried this long. I have not felt like I'm a tough person at all this past week. I'm just not in the mood for anything right now. And my show comes on tonight, which I'm not in the mood for. Didn't even drink anything at work today. I did before I came into work. But only had that one drink in the morning. Been dealing with crap at home, etc.


:hug

Sounds like you are stressed out and needed to vent (some people get angry, some people cry). It happens to all of us at one time or another when gets too much. Just being human.

I hope you enjoy your show now that you have vented.

Hopefully something wonderful or kind happens to make your day better.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

3stacks said:


> :hug Even tough people cry. Hope you can feel better soon


Haha, thanks. I feel a little better now but still bothered by how today went. 
@Mondo_Fernando Yea, it is. What takes my produce manager 30 minutes to get a bunch of stuff done takes me 2 to 2 and a half hours to get one thing done. I just can't fully keep up. It's a struggle. Had to shuck 90 things of corn, wrap them and price them before I had to leave. There were two hours left and I still had 7 left. Took the whole time. It slows me down even more having to make it look perfect. That takes her like 20 minutes to do cause she would've already gotten like two other things done. It is so hard. And just crappy drama at home.

Thanks.  I feel a little better but just bothered at the fact I can't work really fast. It's nearly impossible. I only have a little over one year of experience. I cut myself today and I'm not supposed to. Can't get blood on the food.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando Yea, it is. What takes my produce manager 30 minutes to get a bunch of stuff done takes me 2 to 2 and a half hours to get one thing done. I just can't fully keep up. It's a struggle. Had to shuck 90 things of corn, wrap them and price them before I had to leave. There were two hours left and I still had 7 left. Took the whole time. It slows me down even more having to make it look perfect. That takes her like 20 minutes to do cause she would've already gotten like two other things done. It is so hard. And just crappy drama at home.
> 
> Thanks.  I feel a little better but just bothered at the fact I can't work really fast. It's nearly impossible. I only have a little over one year of experience. I cut myself today and I'm not supposed to. Can't get blood on the food.


You're welcome.

That is normal when a workflow is new. Takes a while to pickup ways to do it faster.

The manager just has experience and learnt how to do it faster. Watch how she does it, as there must be a workflow / way to do it quicker while still have quality.

Sorry to hear about the cut on your hand. I hope it heals quickly.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> That is normal when a workflow is new. Takes a while to pickup ways to do it faster.
> 
> The manager just has experience and learnt how to do it faster. Watch how she does it, as there must be a workflow / way to do it quicker while still have quality.
> 
> Sorry to hear about the cut on your hand. I hope it heals quickly.


This job makes me want to off myself. I'm sure it'll be the death of me. Itll take me years to work as fast as her. And I don't think I plan on doing it for years. I really should be getting paid more for how fast I have to work and how much I do. She sent me a text this morning getting mad at me cause I didn't finish a few things.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bad. My allergies are acting up again, and my throat hurts. I'm lonely, and depressed. I'm bored, and tired of life.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SamanthaStrange said:


> Bad. My allergies are acting up again, and my throat hurts. I'm lonely, and depressed. I'm bored, and tired of life.


D B L!

Depressed, bored, lonely.:frown2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> This job makes me want to off myself. I'm sure it'll be the death of me. It'll take me years to work as fast as her. And I don't think I plan on doing it for years. I really should be getting paid more for how fast I have to work and how much I do. She sent me a text this morning getting mad at me cause I didn't finish a few things.


:hug

It does takes years sometimes to pickup on some things fully. Everyone learns at a different pace.

Sounds like she wants to make a good impression with her bosses being new and all, or they are testing you / trying to get you to a level good enough for manager (ask the higher up manager if have to).

Not many people finish things in one day, but finish them the next. Work to the hours allocated.

Don't say anything back, just record / save the text. Show the higher up bosses (above her head) if it gets worse, or becomes a repeat pattern of crazy things like that watering plant pots for 5 hours and only 40 minutes left sort of thing. Shouldn't have to put up with that.

Basically if the higher up bosses don't do that with you, then there is something wrong with her. Sometimes only the higher up bosses can talk to her, ask her to stop.


----------



## roxslide

Man I feel really ****ty today


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

roxslide said:


> Man I feel really ****ty today


*refrains from spanking ****ty botty* Eww! :b


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and lonely


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> Sad and lonely


You have to try and join meetup groups. I don't know any other way to end the loneliness for people like us. :stu


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :hug
> 
> It does takes years sometimes to pickup on some things fully. Everyone learns at a different pace.
> 
> Sounds like she wants to make a good impression with her bosses being new and all, or they are testing you / trying to get you to a level good enough for manager (ask the higher up manager if have to).
> 
> Not many people finish things in one day, but finish them the next. Work to the hours allocated.
> 
> Don't say anything back, just record / save the text. Show the higher up bosses (above her head) if it gets worse, or becomes a repeat pattern of crazy things like that watering plant pots for 5 hours and only 40 minutes left sort of thing. Shouldn't have to put up with that.
> 
> Basically if the higher up bosses don't do that with you, then there is something wrong with her. Sometimes only the higher up bosses can talk to her, ask her to stop.


I haven't known the higher ups to get onto me ever back there. They always tell me to try the best I can if I'm by myself or say everything looks neat back there, etc. Yea, if it keeps going on I'll tell them as long as she won't be able to know I told on her. Haven't been working in seafood since I've been getting full time in produce. I miss it in a way in seafood but I'm getting my two days off in a row and making more which makes up for it.

The plant thing was over the top. Yea, I didn't say anything back to her. I just said I'm sorry and I won't do it again. That job is impossible to get everything done in one day anyways, so I'm not going to worry about it. I was already 6 minutes working past my time so I clocked out. Doesn't seem like they like you working past your work time. I did anyways but didn't get the produce out of the sink and didn't put the corn boxes in the cooler that she said she'd do. If I stayed after to do that and cut up 7 more things of corn, it probably would've taken 15 more minutes. Time seems to pass by quickly when there's a lot to do.


----------



## Crisigv

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> You have to try and join meetup groups. I don't know any other way to end the loneliness for people like us. :stu


That's not possible


----------



## SparklingWater

Happy, content. Had a great time out with a new friend.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crisigv said:


> That's not possible


:frown2: :stu


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SparklingWater said:


> Happy, content. Had a great time out with a new friend.


Good! :smile2:


----------



## kesker

I feel like it's all going to come together baby!!!!!!!!!!! I got rhythm! Who could ask for anything more!!!!!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I haven't known the higher ups to get onto me ever back there. They always tell me to try the best I can if I'm by myself or say everything looks neat back there, etc. Yea, if it keeps going on I'll tell them as long as she won't be able to know I told on her. Haven't been working in seafood since I've been getting full time in produce. I miss it in a way in seafood but I'm getting my two days off in a row and making more which makes up for it.
> 
> The plant thing was over the top. Yea, I didn't say anything back to her. I just said I'm sorry and I won't do it again. That job is impossible to get everything done in one day anyways, so I'm not going to worry about it. I was already 6 minutes working past my time so I clocked out. Doesn't seem like they like you working past your work time. I did anyways but didn't get the produce out of the sink and didn't put the corn boxes in the cooler that she said she'd do. If I stayed after to do that and cut up 7 more things of corn, it probably would've taken 15 more minutes. Time seems to pass by quickly when there's a lot to do.


I'm thinking when get treated like that, think about what the higher ups said, what they like.

Tell them you are concerned about retaliatory behaviour. Usually find out you are not the only person experiencing that behaviour, so others might have mentioned something. Or will eventually.

Unless it is needed for display the next day, shouldn't need to rush it.

Probably because they have to pay you for working overtime. If everyone did it, adds up to a fairly big amount in the end. That might be something they would talk to her / manager about if learnt about her behaviour in regards to that 5 hour thing vs 40 minutes thing and costing them money.

If didn't finish, put rest of corn in cooler (separate box) and finish next day sort of thing (arrive early in the morning when have more energy) and add to the rest. Basically just find ways to keep it neat, organized, but prepared for the next day to finish off. I'm thinking she won't complain if do that.

Time does pass fast when busy.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Sleepy. I had to stop typing my Comic Story because I was starting to mess up. It isn't good to write a story while you are sleepy.


----------



## Blue Dino

I get tired easily these recent few days, likely due to subpar sleep that past few days. Surprised I still manage to jogged 5 miles in the evening. Then I took a 1.5hr nap literally seconds after finishing my dinner. Might also be that I had zero caffeine the last few days and I had to rush into work. Sucks I won't be working from home until maybe late next week.


----------



## Suchness

Blue Dino said:


> I get tired easily these recent few days, likely due to subpar sleep that past few days. Surprised I still manage to jogged 5 miles in the evening. Then I took a 1.5hr nap literally seconds after finishing my dinner. Might also be that I had zero caffeine the last few days and I had to rush into work. Sucks I won't be working from home until maybe late next week.


You sound pretty fit. How long did it take you to be able to run 5 miles?


----------



## Blue Dino

Suchness said:


> You sound pretty fit. How long did it take you to be able to run 5 miles?


Hehe not really. I've been running regularly for a long time. On good runs, I use to be able to average 8.5 minute per miles. When I was younger, probably the 7 minute mark.

Nowadays, I don't really care much about the pace, more about putting the distance in and sustaining my stamina. Especially now I run with a dog, I have to adjust for her as well. Lots of constant slow and go pace especially when there are so many other joggers with their dogs as well in the usual spots I jog at.


----------



## Suchness

Blue Dino said:


> Hehe not really. I've been running regularly for a long time. On good runs, I use to be able to average 8.5 minute per miles. When I was younger, probably the 7 minute mark.
> 
> Nowadays, I don't really care much about the pace, more about putting the distance in and sustaining my stamina. Especially now I run with a dog, I have to adjust for her as well. Lots of constant slow and go pace especially when there are so many other joggers with their dogs as well in the usual spots I jog at.


That's pretty good. Me and my friend have been running once a week for the last couple of months and we can only do 3 km which is like 1.8 miles. We're both pretty unfit, too much smoking and partying.


----------



## SplendidBob

Been running on 7 or 8/10 stress levels for about 6 months now and feel I am reaching the end point. I basically cant stop drinking / binge eating either, my weight is ballooning and my OCD is hovering around waiting to **** me over. I can't get any support in the UK for my problems either, and my expensive psychologist isn't helping any more. I have an appointment at 12:30 with a dentist for a tooth that has an inflamed nerve which won't ****ing heal (despite their being no actual problem). My mood is shot to **** because I can't go to the gym and exercise (I literally need to exercise) because my neck problem flares up if I do, so I have to choose between chronic pain and depression. I can't get to sleep because I get night time agitation (which is also why I binge, it seems to help). I look in the mirror and feel disgusted. Every night I wake up in a cold sweat.

I. Just. Can't. Cope.


----------



## blue2

On a good day I can go 5km on the treadmill in 28 minutes which is just over 3 miles, thats despite having a b.m.i of 29 if I would actually stick to a healthy diet & train regularly I'd be pretty fit : /


----------



## Blue Dino

Suchness said:


> That's pretty good. Me and my friend have been running once a week for the last couple of months and we can only do 3 km which is like 1.8 miles. We're both pretty unfit, too much smoking and partying.


:lol never too late to start, and that sounds like good progress honestly and you really work up quickly with consistency. That's actually pretty good. Since I did recall a while back you have been starting at this.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

D b l


----------



## harrison

Blue Dino said:


> Hehe not really. I've been running regularly for a long time. On good runs, I use to be able to average 8.5 minute per miles. When I was younger, probably the 7 minute mark.
> 
> Nowadays, I don't really care much about the pace, more about putting the distance in and sustaining my stamina. Especially now I run with a dog, I have to adjust for her as well. Lots of constant slow and go pace especially when there are so many other joggers with their dogs as well in the usual spots I jog at.


That's amazing - very impressive indeed.

The closest I get to running is when a fun run goes past my building - it happened a few weeks ago. I looked out my window and there must have been thousands of them - they even had the road partially blocked off and volunteers standing around to guide them and people cheering them on.

I was just glad I didn't have to do it too. :roll


----------



## Maslow

I'm feeling anxious. Maybe tonight's a drinking night. :yes


----------



## harrison

Blue Dino said:


> *Wish we have things like fun run or the flash mob-esque things here*. We did use to have monthly mass biking groups that bikes around the city and roads get blocked off for them. Drivers and most people hate it though and eventually the city government put a stop to that.
> Although it's not like I will join stuff like that regardless. :lol


You guys don't have fun-runs over there?

I actually asked one of the volunteers what that one was about and I think it was a "Run for the Kids" or something like that. It was really great - some people were dressed up in silly costumes etc. They all must have been so fit - I would have been exhausted just running up the road. I really need to try and do a bit of exercise, it's terrible.


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

Exhausted. Was going to head out tonight and hit the town but as usual after a week of work I have massive brain fog, even after a nap in the afternoon. I'm basically in bed at 9pm wishing I was someplace else.

Could also be the amino acids I've been taking though messing around with certain chemicals in my head.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored ****less!

I need endless amounts of money to fill the endless void!

So much I want to do, so little money to do it with!


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

A fry up will fill the void, for as long as it lasts.


----------



## fine_again

I am stoned.
I am sad.
I am tired.

In this moment, I feel hopeless. I had forgotten what that felt like.

I want peace.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Fry ups gone and voids returned.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Headache. Grumpy. :bah


----------



## Karsten

SamanthaStrange said:


> Headache. Grumpy. :bah


You're full of beans.


----------



## Eleonora91

I have been feeling like crap during the last couple of days, probably discontinuing my prescription antidepressants at once instead of doing it gradually as my psychiatrist recommended was NOT a good idea. My dizziness, poor balance, worsened insomnia all seem to be withdrawal syndrome effects. I just couldn't keep taking them anymore. Hopefully this will pass soon.


----------



## Ekardy

I feel stupid and ridiculous. Why am I not good enough? I'm just tired of hurting.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Disrespected. I get treated like an animal.

I was gonna get one of my coworkers to bring me home since she is only 2 minutes driving distance from where I live. I had groceries but had to wait a whole hour until she got off work. She was the only ride I had. Well, the old man decided to come get me and he was *****ing at me on the phone telling me I can't depend on him to get a ride. Well, excuse me. You going out and having fun is not more important than me having to get a ride home. And his gf was with him. And this is when **** got worse. She embarrassed me in the parking lot yelling at me with one of my coworkers right there near us telling me to leave the buggy there. I looked nervous, too. I was gonna push the buggy back in since one of my managers told me to do that after work one time. But no. I had to leave it there. She was acting like she was my manager getting onto me for not doing the "right thing". And on top of that embarrassing me in the parking lot with other people and one of my coworkers.  Some people are just ****ty and don't even deserve a house to live in with how mean they can be. I should've just let that girl from work pick me up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Eleonora91

I hope you feel better later on.

@Ekardy

You are good enough. :hug

@PurplePeopleEater

Sorry to hear that. :hug


----------



## SofaKing

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> Bored ****less!
> 
> I need endless amounts of money to fill the endless void!
> 
> So much I want to do, so little money to do it with!


If you had money, but remained alone, what would you do with it?


----------



## kesker

Defeated. Today I firmly believe avoidance is preferable to failure. But they're one in the same so it doesn't much matter which one you choose. Reality is a hard way to go.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

kesker said:


> Defeated. Today I firmly believe avoidance is preferable to failure. But they're one in the same so it doesn't much matter which one you choose. Reality is a hard way to go.


:squeeze


----------



## kesker

SamanthaStrange said:


> :squeeze


:squeeze


----------



## SparklingWater

Exasperated. Fed the **** up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sore and tired.

But had a goodish day.

More to come until can rest.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando Trying to up my mood after what happened. I took a nap. I was really tired and it helped some.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando Trying to up my mood after what happened. I took a nap. I was really tired and it helped some.


Good to hear that it helped some.

Soaking in a warm bath helps too.

With bubbles to pop.


----------



## unknovvn

very alone (and somewhat ill & scared, since my heart has not stopped racing for 3 days now)


----------



## Blue Dino

harrison said:


> You guys don't have fun-runs over there?
> 
> I actually asked one of the volunteers what that one was about and I think it was a "Run for the Kids" or something like that. It was really great - some people were dressed up in silly costumes etc. They all must have been so fit - I would have been exhausted just running up the road. I really need to try and do a bit of exercise, it's terrible.


I'm stupid... I guess i didn't really know what fun runs meant. 

Yes we have fun runs. Quite a few of them. We have one here too with drunk costume runners. Although it is very expensive to join. Last I did was a half marathon a few years ago. The admission fee was really expensive though, it was like $200 USD to join and I remember regretting I paid all that money for it. Before that, it's been a very long time since I did one. It's kind of awkward to go without having anyone to go with.


----------



## harrison

Blue Dino said:


> I'm stupid... I guess i didn't really know what fun runs meant.
> 
> Yes we have fun runs. Quite a few of them. We have one here too with drunk costume runners. Although it is very expensive to join. Last I did was a half marathon a few years ago. The admission fee was really expensive though, it was like $200 USD to join and I remember regretting I paid all that money for it. Before that, it's been a very long time since I did one. It's kind of awkward to go without having anyone to go with.


No way - you're not stupid at all.

They're having a Star Wars run tonight here, I think it starts at 7:30 near the city. Hasn't been a very good day weather-wise today so I hope it doesn't rain on them. 

http://www.neonrun.com.au/event-info/


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

And rest.


----------



## SplendidBob

Sad.

Probably broken up for sure this time. But it isn't all bad I suppose, gives me that old motivator again perhaps. Will probably stop gaining weight. Nobody likes an overweight man.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Good to hear that it helped some.
> 
> Soaking in a warm bath helps too.
> 
> With bubbles to pop.


Lol I never take baths. But I could go for a cold shower right about now. I'm burning up. Too late to take a shower before work, though. Hair won't dry in time.


----------



## Sabk

I really want to get some work done. Just two hours. 

But the thought of going to a birthday party later today is making me feel exhausted already. 
The slightly annoying part is that it doesnt seem worth it since, once I get into it, I like to do so for more than 2 measly hours.

But I've been lazy lately and need to reestablish a self-discipline routine. And two hours is better than nothing.

But I don't wanna! Not right now.

Sent from my SM-A605F using Tapatalk


----------



## rabidfoxes

SplendidBob said:


> Sad.
> 
> Probably broken up for sure this time. But it isn't all bad I suppose, gives me that old motivator again perhaps. Will probably stop gaining weight. Nobody likes an overweight man.


One foot in front of the other. It's alright to howl. 
I've gone through weeks of that hell recently (although attempting to patch things up now).
Hope things resolve soon for you, either way. It's being on that unstable middle ground that's the worst.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SplendidBob said:


> Sad.
> 
> Probably broken up for sure this time. But it isn't all bad I suppose, gives me that old motivator again perhaps. Will probably stop gaining weight. Nobody likes an overweight man.


Sorry to hear that, man.


----------



## SplendidBob

rabidfoxes said:


> One foot in front of the other. It's alright to howl.
> I've gone through weeks of that hell recently (although attempting to patch things up now).
> Hope things resolve soon for you, either way. It's being on that unstable middle ground that's the worst.





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sorry to hear that, man.


Thanks 

Yeh, exactly that rabid, (lol at that as a shortened name heh). She is away atm, and we just had a bit of a discussion about things. It's very hard to make the right decision here. A sort of mutual prodding of both of our issues keeps happening. I am honestly not sure if we should continue, and neither is she. I know I _don't_ want the pain of a breakup, but that isn't the same thing as deciding its right to continue with the relationship (very different things, but easy to brush stuff under the carpet just to avoid the short term pain).. it's difficult keeping that in mind though when you kinda have that impending sense of loss and / or rejection.

Ah well, this is life eh?

Hope things get patched up for you too Rabid .


----------



## komorikun




----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SplendidBob said:


> Sad.
> 
> Probably broken up for sure this time. But it isn't all bad I suppose, gives me that old motivator again perhaps. Will probably stop gaining weight. Nobody likes an overweight man.


Sorry to hear.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol I never take baths. But I could go for a cold shower right about now. I'm burning up. Too late to take a shower before work, though. Hair won't dry in time.


Then no popping bubbles for you. :b

Awww. :hug

Hairdryer or towel dry?

But I guess don't want to rub or dry it out too much.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> If you had money, but remained alone, what would you do with it?


I wouldn't be alone if I had money mate. I would put myself out there much more.


----------



## SofaKing

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> I wouldn't be alone if I had money mate. I would put myself out there much more.


If you think so...


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> If you think so...


I think so.

I socialized with about 20 people today and was around a load of people in the city. I know how easier life would be for me if I had money. I can socialize quite easily and there's nothing wrong with my personality, it's just that my financial situation and living situation stops me from putting myself out there much more.


----------



## SofaKing

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> I think so.
> 
> I socialized with about 20 people today and was around a load of people in the city. I know how easier life would be for me if I had money. I can socialize quite easily and there's nothing wrong with my personality, it's just that my financial situation and living situation stops me from putting myself out there much more.


It appears your anhedonia allows you to experience joy of socializing, but not being employed. Tough break.


----------



## SparklingWater

Relieved got this medication mess sorted. Surprised I actually had 2 more refills so no need to see dr. afterall.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling that it is a long time since listened to this song and still like it.

Starts off slow, but eventually get into the groove.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> It appears your anhedonia allows you to experience joy of socializing, but not being employed. Tough break.


I can socialize, with the right people. I only socialize with people with mental health issues. And even when I do, I don't feel anywhere near as good as I did with "her".

It's not my fault dude that you have a job, some money, can buy 100 acres but can't end your loneliness.

I have no job and no money, and can't end my loneliness either, even though I'm now able to socialize for the first time in years. I don't experience the joy's of socializing. I have blips of joy, I can laugh, but I'm lonely as **** again later ore the next day, missing the **** out of the only person I was able to socialize with and feel truly happy and comfortable around, and feel real joy.

I don't know what you're going to do dude about your own situation and you're mistaken if you think I'm experiencing "The joys of socializing" because I'm really not, tbh.


----------



## rabidfoxes

SplendidBob said:


> Thanks
> 
> Yeh, exactly that rabid, (lol at that as a shortened name heh). She is away atm, and we just had a bit of a discussion about things. It's very hard to make the right decision here. A sort of mutual prodding of both of our issues keeps happening. I am honestly not sure if we should continue, and neither is she. I know I _don't_ want the pain of a breakup, but that isn't the same thing as deciding its right to continue with the relationship (very different things, but easy to brush stuff under the carpet just to avoid the short term pain).. it's difficult keeping that in mind though when you kinda have that impending sense of loss and / or rejection.
> 
> Ah well, this is life eh?
> 
> Hope things get patched up for you too Rabid .


Cheers, mate. It's hard to make the right decision because it's not like you can look back later and tell if it was right after all, confusion abounds. I used to think it was about the simple maths of pleasure vs. pain (which one is there more of?), but it's not that easy. But while it doesn't help decide about your relationship, it helps to see when the scale is tipping the wrong way. You can consciously produce more pleasure in a relationship.

I'm fine with Rabid but I'd also accept "Rabbi"


----------



## SofaKing

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> I can socialize, with the right people. I only socialize with people with mental health issues. And even when I do, I don't feel anywhere near as good as I did with "her".
> 
> It's not my fault dude that you have a job, some money, can buy 100 acres but can't end your loneliness.
> 
> I have no job and no money, and can't end my loneliness either, even though I'm now able to socialize for the first time in years. I don't experience the joy's of socializing. I have blips of joy, I can laugh, but I'm lonely as **** again later ore the next day, missing the **** out of the only person I was able to socialize with and feel truly happy and comfortable around, and feel real joy.
> 
> I don't know what you're going to do dude about your own situation and you're mistaken if you think I'm experiencing "The joys of socializing" because I'm really not, tbh.


Slow your roll...I wasn't trying to lay judgement. It was an observation based on prior comments you made about yourself. I meant no offense and apologize since you clearly got offended.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SofaKing said:


> Slow your roll...I wasn't trying to lay judgement. It was an observation based on prior comments you made about yourself. I meant no offense and apologize since you clearly got offended.


I reckon if me and you spoke in person we'd get each other and get on. That's all I know.


----------



## Citrine79

Lonely, miserable, frustrated...and wishing I had to strength to overcome those things.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Citrine79 said:


> Lonely, miserable, frustrated...and wishing I had to strength to overcome those things.


:hug:squeeze


----------



## Citrine79

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug:squeeze


Thanks! Gonna spend the night watching my favorite show on Netflix...usually somewhat improves my mood.


----------



## Blue Dino

Mondo_Fernando said:


> And rest.


Thats cool, sounds like you have these runs in your city very frequent. They are not as frequent here, maybe a few times a year. Although if you count outlying cities here, I do think you can find them frequently too. The most memorable one I did was many years ago, one where side spectators throw exploding paint capsules at you throughout the course.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> No way - you're not stupid at all.
> 
> They're having a Star Wars run tonight here, I think it starts at 7:30 near the city. Hasn't been a very good day weather-wise today so I hope it doesn't rain on them.
> 
> http://www.neonrun.com.au/event-info/





Blue Dino said:


> Thats cool, sounds like you have these runs in your city very frequent. They are not as frequent here, maybe a few times a year. Although if you count outlying cities here, I do think you can find them frequently too. The most memorable one I did was many years ago, one where side spectators throw exploding paint capsules at you throughout the course.


I think quoted this username instead of harrison. Anyway, sorry to disturb your conversation.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I think quoted this username instead of harrison. Anyway, sorry to disturb your conversation.


No worries , thanks mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> No worries , thanks mate.


You're welcome.


----------



## Eleonora91

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @*Eleonora91*
> 
> I hope you feel better later on.


Thank you, I hope so as well, even though I've made some research and it looks like Cymbalta is one of the worst antidepressants to come off from.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Eleonora91 said:


> Thank you, I hope so as well, even though I've made some research and it looks like Cymbalta is one of the worst antidepressants to come off from.


You're welcome.


----------



## love is like a dream

i miss that kind of adrenaline rush i used to get at a very young age when i find a place to hide in it. under a table/ inside a wardrobe, in a specific corner in the house, under blankets in the winter to feel warm and safe...


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Irrelevant.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Same as usual. Little bit crappy. Kinda pointlessly existing. Starting to worry about getting low on epilepsy meds again. Need to refill the prescription/don't want to/anxiety about that. Then, realizing that only gives me 3 more months before I have to go back to the stupid doctor and get another 6 months worth. Asking why me? Why me? Why me? Why me?

Not wanting to go to bed. Not wanting to stay up. Not really motivated to do anything. Room is a mess. Clutter messes with my mood. 

I would generally fill this space with something I enjoy on youtube but none of the people I watch have uploaded anything interesting lately. Just the usual crap they throw in there as filler when they don't have any idea what they're doing anymore.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

WillYouStopDave said:


> Same as usual. Little bit crappy. Kinda pointlessly existing. Starting to worry about getting low on epilepsy meds again. Need to refill the prescription/don't want to/anxiety about that. Then, realizing that only gives me 3 more months before I have to go back to the stupid doctor and get another 6 months worth. Asking why me? Why me? Why me? Why me?
> 
> Not wanting to go to bed. Not wanting to stay up. Not really motivated to do anything. Room is a mess. Clutter messes with my mood.
> 
> I would generally fill this space with something I enjoy on youtube but none of the people I watch have uploaded anything interesting lately. Just the usual crap they throw in there as filler when they don't have any idea what they're doing anymore.


:squeeze


----------



## WillYouStopDave

SamanthaStrange said:


> :squeeze


 Thanks. 

I said as usual but I guess it's not very usual. I'm kinda having one of those crap days. This may sound weird but I think I took a little bit of NyQuil last night because it usually helps when I have a headache and I always feel bizarre the next day when I do that. Like it seriously puts me in a weird, flat mood where nothing is fun or interesting or funny or anything. Really odd.

But I get that mood sometimes without anything obvious causing it and that's equally odd. Didn't used to.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

WillYouStopDave said:


> Thanks.
> 
> I said as usual but I guess it's not very usual. I'm kinda having one of those crap days. This may sound weird but I think I took a little bit of NyQuil last night because it usually helps when I have a headache and I always feel bizarre the next day when I do that. Like it seriously puts me in a weird, flat mood where nothing is fun or interesting or funny or anything. Really odd.
> 
> But I get that mood sometimes without anything obvious causing it and that's equally odd. Didn't used to.


That is odd, maybe the alcohol or something else in the NyQuil contributes. I hope you feel better soon.

I'm moody in general, lol.


----------



## SofaKing

Overwhelmed. I find this overthinking and risk aversion to suck the enjoyment out of life. Why live like that?


----------



## WillYouStopDave

SamanthaStrange said:


> I'm moody in general, lol.


 Yeah, me too but I usually don't get that completely numb/neutral about everything feeling like that. I sometimes get really good moods and sometimes generally good moods and sometimes slightly down but completely numb to everything is rare and kind of scary, TBH. I worry that someday I might get stuck like that. :lol (I mean, not funny but you know)


----------



## Eleonora91

Good and bad and then nothing and then good and bad again. During the last few days I've actually experienced the concept of being "bipolar" for the first time in my life


----------



## tea111red

WillYouStopDave said:


> Not wanting to go to bed. Not wanting to stay up. Not really motivated to do anything. Room is a mess. Clutter messes with my mood.


can you start w/ a corner of your room or something and then work up to cleaning the rest?


----------



## WillYouStopDave

tea111red said:


> can you start w/ a corner of your room or something and then work up to cleaning the rest?


 Not really. Everything I have is stuff I need and my room is too small. If I want to get anything out of sight, it has to go somewhere and there are only so many places to put it. And no matter where I put it it still looks like hell because the only place I really have that isn't directly in sight is a small closet. Which is already full.

If I put any of this stuff not in my room my mother will start complaining. If I put it out in the garage, I will have to go out to the garage every time I need something that I use almost every day but is just so hideous I can't stand to look at it. Can't really win. I have been fighting with all this junk and this small space for years.


----------



## tea111red

WillYouStopDave said:


> Not really. Everything I have is stuff I need and my room is too small. If I want to get anything out of sight, it has to go somewhere and there are only so many places to put it. And no matter where I put it it still looks like hell because the only place I really have that isn't directly in sight is a small closet. Which is already full.
> 
> If I put any of this stuff not in my room my mother will start complaining. If I put it out in the garage, I will have to go out to the garage every time I need something that I use almost every day but is just so hideous I can't stand to look at it. Can't really win. I have been fighting with all this junk and this small space for years.


oh, i guess that is quite the dilemna. :/ i thought to say put it all behind a curtain or something just so you have less to look at, but i don't know if that will work. i don't know what your set up looks like, lol.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bloody bored!


----------



## fine_again

_Stuuuuuuuuuuuck._


----------



## Barakiel

fine_again said:


> _Stuuuuuuuuuuuck._


I saw that you posted in this thread in the Recent Discussions menu and I was hoping your username would be your answer.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I haven't been feeling SAS lately. It is starting to feel like social media for me: The "type what are you thinking about" and the "how are you feeling" thread is like a status post. Some people reply while other people don't. I honestly don't care. So what do I even post? It make no sense to me. 
I'll then make my way over to the Just For Fun section every now and then but even with this after awhile banning, give a nickname to the above person etc. start to get old. I also miss not being surrounded by a lot of people. I been around online people long enough. Too much talking. Too much thoughts floating around. It feel noisy to me. I like being in my own corner. Less noise with only 1-2 people I talk with if I have any.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Fun Spirit said:


> I haven't been feeling SAS lately. It is starting to feel like social media for me: The "type what are you thinking about" and the "how are you feeling" thread is like a status post. Some people reply while other people don't. I honestly don't care. So what do I even post? It make no sense to me.
> I'll then make my way over to the Just For Fun section every now and then but even with this after awhile banning, give a nickname to the above person etc. start to get old. I also miss not being surrounded by a lot of people. I been around online people long enough. Too much talking. Too much thoughts floating around. It feel noisy to me. I like being in my own corner. Less noise with only 1-2 people I talk with if I have any.


 I'm not exactly sure what you mean but I endorse this post.


----------



## Fun Spirit

WillYouStopDave said:


> I'm not exactly sure what you mean but I endorse this post.


 Ha Ha Ha 
Thanks for the generous endorsement


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Fun Spirit said:


> Ha Ha Ha
> Thanks for the generous endorsement


 Well, I just barely got the endorsement in there before you caught me. I originally wrote "endhorse" and caught it with a quick edit just before you read it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Fun Spirit

I hope you got to sleep and feel better.


----------



## Fun Spirit

WillYouStopDave said:


> Well, I just barely got the endorsement in there before you caught me. I originally wrote "endhorse" and caught it with a quick edit just before you read it.


Oh wow LOL:rofl 
If only I caught it. Lucky you
I almost accepted a horse's butt
"End Horse" LOL.

@Mondo_Fernando I don't think I will I feel ot every now and then. I been wanting to leave SAS for awhile now Thank You anyway. It is 3:17pm over here. Too early to sleep unless I fall asleep.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Fun Spirit said:


> @Mondo_Fernando I don't think I will I feel ot every now and then. I been wanting to leave SAS for awhile now Thank You anyway. It is 3:17pm over here. Too early to sleep unless I fall asleep.


Oh. You're welcome.

Awww, leaving us. :hug

So tired during the day (missed that part, blame my reading Skilllz). :hug

I was thinking it was night and you were staying awake.

We are probably in the future here. One of the first countries to see the new day, new year, etc. So hi from the future.

Now just need a letter box. Put a letter inside and it goes to a different time period via the local postie. :O

That is actually happening in real time as we have the internetzzzzzzz.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Oh. You're welcome.
> 
> Awww, leaving us. :hug
> 
> So tired during the day (missed that part, blame my reading Skilllz). :hug
> 
> I was thinking it was night and you were staying awake.
> 
> We are probably in the future here. One of the first countries to see the new day, new year, etc. So hi from the future.
> 
> Now just need a letter box. Put a letter inside and it goes to a different time period via the local postie. :O
> 
> That is actually happening in real time as we have the internetzzzzzzz.


Now I feel bad. LOL. :squeeze

Aw it is Ok

You guys are lucky over there. Hi from the Past;D

:O You are right about that:O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Fun Spirit said:


> Now I feel bad. LOL. :squeeze
> 
> Aw it is Ok
> 
> You guys are lucky over there. Hi from the Past;D
> 
> :O You are right about that:O


No need to feel bad. Feel happy that you are here with your online family. :hug

Ok.

Hi.

But we are 6 months behind in technology compared to where you are.

You have 6g and we only have 5g sort of thing.

I'm thinking next that you want me to tell you the winning numbers for the lottery?

Or who won that baseball, basketball, etc game so can you know?


----------



## SparklingWater

Have a headache. Horrible. Ugh.


----------



## Shadowweaver

Did a crazy long workout outside today, testing my comfort zone actively. Did a series of push-ups on a crosswalk on a road full of cars stopped at a red light! Was honked at.  Feeling amazing!


----------



## Graeme1988

Just wonder when a certain relative o’ mine is going to part with £40 pounds in cash, and by themselves a printer. Rather than constantly rely upon me to print off things they need printed. Bit ironic, considering they slagged and talked $h!%* me in a Facebook rant post a few weeks ago.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Mondo_Fernando said:


> No need to feel bad. Feel happy that you are here with your online family. :hug
> 
> Ok.
> 
> Hi.
> 
> But we are 6 months behind in technology compared to where you are.
> 
> You have 6g and we only have 5g sort of thing.
> 
> I'm thinking next that you want me to tell you the winning numbers for the lottery?
> 
> Or who won that baseball, basketball, etc game so can you know?




6 months behind in technology but almost a day into the future? Ok. Got it. LMAO.

No. Ha Ha.

I will eventually find out


----------



## harrison

Slightly better - Valium is working. Some days I just want to curl up in a ball on my bed.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Fun Spirit said:


> 6 months behind in technology but almost a day into the future? Ok. Got it. LMAO.
> 
> No. Ha Ha.
> 
> I will eventually find out


The push me pull you time dilation effect.

Ok, you missed these numbers.............to be continued tomorrow. :b


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Crapola again! Woo hoo! **** yeah! 

Need money to escape or this is as good as it gets! **** Yeah!


----------



## SparklingWater

Sad, but relieved. But really ridiculously sad but also so ****ing relieved. Thank goodness that's over. Will continue having to process it for weeks and months to come, but glad the actual event is over instead of having it hang over my head. The anticipation was killing me.


----------



## Deaf Mute

I need more music


----------



## Citrine79

This unbelievably crappy spring weather we have been having is making me moody and down(even moreso than usual) and lots of rain and humidity has triggered my migraines again...been getting a ton lately after not having them much for awhile. Having a tough time concentrating at work due to them.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel helpless. Whenever I have a panic attack I get really scared. There is nothing I can do other than to wait it out. It leave me feeling really sad, helpless and powerless. Thankfully this one doesn't seem to be severe as my last one. I just feel like I am experiencing more attacks than what I am use to. This is the 2nd one this year. I hope it doesn't increase as I become older. I just don't like this. I hate to say this but I wish I was normal. I have to live with having sudden panic attakcs for the rest of my life. Panic attacks are scary. Straight up terror. If you don't try to stay calm you could feel like you're going crazy. Crazy in a panicky way. I just try to be still and let it pass. Like I said there is nothing I can do. I'm better off staying still and bitterly weeping silently. I'm just that helpless.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Fun Spirit

:hug


----------



## harrison

Fun Spirit said:


> I feel helpless. Whenever I have a panic attack I get really scared. There is nothing I can do other than to wait it out. It leave me feeling really sad, helpless and powerless. Thankfully this one doesn't seem to be severe as my last one. I just feel like I am experiencing more attacks than what I am use to. This is the 2nd one this year. I hope it doesn't increase as I become older. I just don't like this. *I hate to say this but I wish I was normal.* I have to live with having sudden panic attakcs for the rest of my life. *Panic attacks are scary*. Straight up terror. If you don't try to stay calm you could feel like you're going crazy. Crazy in a panicky way. I just try to be still and let it pass. Like I said there is nothing I can do. I'm better off staying still and bitterly weeping silently. I'm just that helpless.


I wish I was normal too.

And you're right - panic attacks are horrible. I've only had a couple of full-on ones but they scared the hell out of me.

Hope you're okay.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Well, I was mad but feel somewhat better. I balled my fist walking all the way home from work today honestly. I was so mad. Lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

:hug






A handsome teacher to distract you for a little while.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Fun Spirit said:


> I feel helpless. Whenever I have a panic attack I get really scared. There is nothing I can do other than to wait it out. It leave me feeling really sad, helpless and powerless. Thankfully this one doesn't seem to be severe as my last one. I just feel like I am experiencing more attacks than what I am use to. This is the 2nd one this year. I hope it doesn't increase as I become older. I just don't like this. I hate to say this but I wish I was normal. I have to live with having sudden panic attakcs for the rest of my life. Panic attacks are scary. Straight up terror. If you don't try to stay calm you could feel like you're going crazy. Crazy in a panicky way. I just try to be still and let it pass. Like I said there is nothing I can do. I'm better off staying still and bitterly weeping silently. I'm just that helpless.


:hug:squeeze


----------



## Fun Spirit

harrison said:


> I wish I was normal too.
> 
> And you're right - panic attacks are horrible. I've only had a couple of full-on ones but they scared the hell out of me.
> 
> Hope you're okay.


I really hope they will disappear for you: ( : ( {And for anyone else who experience them} I'm adding this to my list of things I don't wish on anyone to go through: Bed Bugs and Panic Attacks.

Thank You. I seem to feel better but after having a Panic Attack I have to monitor myself for the rest of the day because sometimes it try to come back. It can really mess up your whole day. It do for me. I notice with this slight attack that I felt more of defeat and sadness than extreme fear towards my attack. I was starting to feel scare, I was even panicky but it turn to feeling helpless and sadness. A "I'm having a panic attack and there is nothing I can do" moment. I think with this switch of emotions that it cause my panic attack to not be as strong. Maybe they are right about fear feeding into panic attacks. And also with the mind being powerful. I fed this attack with sadness and it seem like my attack didn't get much out of me. I will try to remember this if I experience another future attack. To not feed it with fear.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug:squeeze


Thanks. : )


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

This.


----------



## harrison

Fun Spirit said:


> I really hope they will disappear for you: ( : ( {And for anyone else who experience them} *I'm adding this to my list of things I don't wish on anyone to go through: Bed Bugs *and Panic Attacks.


Well, to be fair - there _are_ a number of people I'd love to see get some bed-bugs.

But that's another story. :O


----------



## Fun Spirit

harrison said:


> Well, to be fair - there _are_ a number of people I'd love to see get some bed-bugs.
> 
> But that's another story. :O


 LMAO 
I like your honesty;D
You got me on this one


----------



## Wanderlust26

Bored AF.


----------



## CNikki

Sick and tired. Both figuratively and literally.

(I need a good laugh.)


----------



## harrison

Fun Spirit said:


> LMAO
> I like your honesty;D
> You got me on this one


----------



## funnynihilist

Very bored with life. Not enough good times to at least make all the crap tolerable.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> Very bored with life. Not enough good times to at least make all the crap tolerable.


Same.


----------



## Fever Dream

funnynihilist said:


> Very bored with life. Not enough good times to at least make all the crap tolerable.





SamanthaStrange said:


> Same.


Yeah, so I guess it's boredom all around.


----------



## Suchness

Fun Spirit said:


> I feel helpless. Whenever I have a panic attack I get really scared. There is nothing I can do other than to wait it out. It leave me feeling really sad, helpless and powerless. Thankfully this one doesn't seem to be severe as my last one. I just feel like I am experiencing more attacks than what I am use to. This is the 2nd one this year. I hope it doesn't increase as I become older. I just don't like this. I hate to say this but I wish I was normal. I have to live with having sudden panic attakcs for the rest of my life. Panic attacks are scary. Straight up terror. If you don't try to stay calm you could feel like you're going crazy. Crazy in a panicky way. I just try to be still and let it pass. Like I said there is nothing I can do. I'm better off staying still and bitterly weeping silently. I'm just that helpless.


:hug It doesn't mean you'll have to put up with them for the rest of your life. I've had a few and my last one was a few years ago.


----------



## funnynihilist

Fever Dream said:


> Yeah, so I guess it's boredom all around.


Indeed


----------



## Fun Spirit

Suchness said:


> :hug It doesn't mean you'll have to put up with them for the rest of your life. I've had a few and my last one was a few years ago.


It feel like I am. There is nothing I can do and yet it is causing me to desperately try to find a solution so I can take immediate action in curing this. {It is as if I am fighting against myself}

Well you been lucky. What's your secret?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Remembering the funny feeling in mouth when playing that instrument.


----------



## Suchness

Fun Spirit said:


> It feel like I am. There is nothing I can do and yet it is causing me to desperately try to find a solution so I can take immediate action in curing this. {It is as if I am fighting against myself}
> 
> Well you been lucky. What's your secret?


My last one was when I was going thru depression and just haven't had one since then.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Suchness said:


> My last one was when I was going thru depression and just haven't had one since then.


: (


----------



## Suchness

Fun Spirit said:


> : (


My advice would be to meditate and exercise, go for walks in nature, get a blood test to see if you're low in anything, read books on self help, that kind of stuff.


----------



## CNikki

funnynihilist said:


> Very bored with life. Not enough good times to at least make all the crap tolerable.


Numb is more like it here. But yeah, same. I don't know what to do.


----------



## TheForestWasDark

Suchness said:


> My advice would be to meditate and exercise, go for walks in nature, get a blood test to see if you're low in anything, read books on self help, that kind of stuff.


Yes walks in nature and yoga every morning are very grounding for me not to sound like a tree-hugger. Just a simple 10 minute routine on youtube is what i do..

All-around mindfulness was something i've never really practiced much in life but everyday I'm feeling some improvement even though i spend so much time in front of screens. Also reading online, different ancient and 20th century philosophy and general topics, have been intriguing in thought and well-being. I have ADD so grounding techniques and gratitude are something i try to focus on. Some days easier than others of course.


----------



## Suchness

TheForestWasDark said:


> Yes walks in nature and yoga every morning are very grounding for me not to sound like a tree-hugger. Just a simple 10 minute routine on youtube is what i do..
> 
> All-around mindfulness was something i've never really practiced much in life but everyday I'm feeling some improvement even though i spend so much time in front of screens. Also reading online, different ancient and 20th century philosophy and general topics, have been intriguing in thought and well-being. I have ADD so grounding techniques and gratitude are something i try to focus on. Some days easier than others of course.


Sounds good, I don't do yoga but I've been stretching almost everyday in the mornings when I go for a walk and at night before sleep. Have you taken meds for ADD? I used to take like 10 dexies at a time back in the day just to get high lol, not my smartest move.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Suchness said:


> My advice would be to meditate and exercise, go for walks in nature, get a blood test to see if you're low in anything, read books on self help, that kind of stuff.


I can't afford to go a doctor but I recently I been wordering if I'm not getting enough nutrients inside me. I don't believe I am. I even became aware of how the years I was getting enough nutrients I experience little to no anxiety and panic attacks. Ever since life circumstance had cut my Family financially our food supply have been limited. Since this I find it strange that my anxiety and panic attacks have "surface." This just might be the cause. My diet.

I been exercising.....well getting back to it And I meditate.......I really need to work on my consistency 
Your advice sound like what I been hearing of in my recent online search on anxiety. I need to really let it sink in and take action.

Thank You for your advice: )








That is one of your bears on your refrigerator: D


----------



## TheForestWasDark

Suchness said:


> Sounds good, I don't do yoga but I've been stretching almost everyday in the mornings when I go for a walk and at night before sleep. Have you taken meds for ADD? I used to take like 10 dexies at a time back in the day just to get high lol, not my smartest move.


same , not anymore they just gave me more anxiety tbh.. lol I have abused medication to before namely Pregabalin. My parents though i tried overdosing once because they saw the empty bottle but it just got me high af. CBD oil is what helps me the most at night right now but if i take it in the day it just makes me tired


----------



## TheForestWasDark

Suchness said:


> Sounds good, I don't do yoga but I've been stretching almost everyday in the mornings when I go for a walk and at night before sleep. Have you taken meds for ADD? I used to take like 10 dexies at a time back in the day just to get high lol, not my smartest move.


Yes same, abusing meds for euphoria and later just gave me more anxiety. Now i try to only take cbd at night to help sleep.


----------



## Suchness

TheForestWasDark said:


> same , not anymore they just gave me more anxiety tbh.. lol I have abused medication to before namely Pregabalin. My parents though i tried overdosing once because they saw the empty bottle but it just got me high af. CBD oil is what helps me the most at night right now but if i take it in the day it just makes me tired





TheForestWasDark said:


> Yes same, abusing meds for euphoria and later just gave me more anxiety. Now i try to only take cbd at night to help sleep.


I think they would make me more anxious now too. Haven't tried CBD oil, heard a lot about it but I'm a little scared to take it. I used to smoke a lot of weed back in the day and got my first panic attacks from smoking, that's how my anxiety started too. I know CBD doesn't have any of the stuff that gets you high so I guess it's worth trying.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Yeah, lonely.

Good explanation of being lonely.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Hating myself and feeling always envious and jealous :/ Why can't I be someone else, someone of quality, I just can't compete I need to be better than everyone but I can't.. They even have more money and resources than me by default on top of physicality and wholesome family life. 

What's the point of me even being here if it's just another regurgitation... another failed specimen I guess. 

I need sound and physicality, but I can't get to it. You need to be born beautiful and blessed, or silver-spooned if lacking innately. ..


----------



## harrison

I'm feeling quite good. My wife could tell - she always knows, which can be a problem. I think it's because we added a small dose of an SSRI to the mix of my medication. Plus I came across a very interesting book today that I already bought - I have to do some research on it which I'm looking forward to. No-one seems to know much about it - so that makes it more interesting to me.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Yeah, lonely.
> 
> Good explanation of being lonely.


Sorry to hear that mate - hope you feel a bit better soon.


----------



## Eleonora91

I swear this weather is killing me. I feel so much better when it's not cloudy and rainy.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Eleonora91 said:


> I swear this weather is killing me. I feel so much better when it's not cloudy and rainy.


You're in worcester then? :b


----------



## Eleonora91

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> You're in worcester then? :b


Suprisingly enough, I'm in Italy and the weather is rubbish here too. Well, Milan is not exactly famous for having the best weather


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Eleonora91 said:


> Suprisingly enough, I'm in Italy and the weather is rubbish here too. Well, Milan is not exactly famous for having the best weather


Give me Milan with ****ty weather over Worcester with ****ty weather or even glorious weather, any day. :b


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I think I slept weird, my neck is bothering me. :blank


----------



## Suchness

SamanthaStrange said:


> I think I slept weird, my neck is bothering me. :blank


You're really hurting huh? Well your carterial is constricted. Alright, lean forward relax. A wise man once taught me the healing art of the bodies natural pressure points, he sells t shirts outside the world trade center.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Suchness said:


> You're really hurting huh? Well your carterial is constricted. Alright, lean forward relax. A wise man once taught me the healing art of the bodies natural pressure points, he sells t shirts outside the world trade center.


You never told me that I had to sleep on a wooden board for at least a week.


----------



## Suchness

SamanthaStrange said:


> You never told me that I had to sleep on a wooden board for at least a week.


Yeah, well I'll pick that bike up later.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Suchness said:


> Yeah, well I'll pick that bike up later.


You're not getting that bike! :bah


----------



## Suchness

SamanthaStrange said:


> You're not getting that bike! :bah


We'll see what Newman has to say about it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Sorry to hear that mate - hope you feel a bit better soon.


I hope so too.

Thank you for your kind words mate.


----------



## Eleonora91

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> Give me Milan with ****ty weather over Worcester with ****ty weather or even glorious weather, any day. :b


Have you been to Milan? Worcester is hella cute but I'm more of a Birmingham type of person. I like big cities.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Eleonora91 said:


> Have you been to Milan? Worcester is hella cute but I'm more of a Birmingham type of person. I like big cities.


No I've never been. I live in Birmingham. :smile2: I like both cute and big tbh lol. I'm off to London next week.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.


----------



## Eleonora91

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> No I've never been. I live in Birmingham. :smile2: I like both cute and big tbh lol. I'm off to London next week.


I loved London, but I prefer Birmingham. It just has the perfect size for a city. London is too big and crowded for me, like Paris. Plus Birmingham looks a lot like Milan.

Have a fun time in London!


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Eleonora91 said:


> I loved London, but I prefer Birmingham. It just has the perfect size for a city. London is too big and crowded for me, like Paris. Plus Birmingham looks a lot like Milan.
> 
> Have a fun time in London!


Birmingham looks like Milan? Sure you weren't highly intoxicated when you were in Birmingham? lol :b

A know people who prefer Birmingham because of it's size. Even though it's Englands second biggest city, the city centre is easy to get around.

I'm bored of it though and prefer London because it's so big.

Oh and thanks. I will try to enjoy myself. Not looking forward to post London blues though, which I know I'll get.


----------



## harrison

Amazing, except for a dull headache. (but who cares)

I have to be careful not to get too excited about all this stuff. What a crazy situation.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely, tired, very anxious.

Lots on my mind to do too.

Library problem was simple to understand, but complicated too.

Missing some parts that makes it easier to search the library.


----------



## harrison

So hard to focus on what I need to do - I feel like I'm jumping out of my damn skin.


----------



## tea111red

nothing exciting going on.


----------



## harrison

tea111red said:


> nothing exciting going on.


There is here - and most of it is in my head. :roll


----------



## harrison

My wife just called to try and get me to calm down. It usually works a bit talking to her. Of course I made the mistake of telling her a bit about the book I'm supposed to be researching, which almost killed her with boredom. You could almost hear her gasping for breath.

Going to have a very hot shower - good for the nerves, helps to calm you down and then go to the State Library to work.


----------



## tea111red

harrison said:


> There is here - and most of it is in my head. :roll


yeah, it is frustrating being unable to focus properly. i can understand that.


----------



## harrison

tea111red said:


> yeah, it is frustrating being unable to focus properly. i can understand that.


Mine gets so intense it feels like my head is going to explode. It's a terrible feeling. When its not as extreme it can be okay though. It just gets out of control.


----------



## Karsten

Tired. Cranky.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Karsten said:


> Tired. Cranky.


Me too!


----------



## tea111red

harrison said:


> Mine gets so intense it feels like my head is going to explode. It's a terrible feeling. When its not as extreme it can be okay though. It just gets out of control.


yeah, that does sound pretty awful. is there anything you're able to do to calm your head down or do you just have to wait it out?


----------



## harrison

tea111red said:


> yeah, that does sound pretty awful. is there anything you're able to do to calm your head down or do you just have to wait it out?


Well at the moment I'm just sitting here listening to some music I like and trying to slow my breathing down - that works a bit sometimes. It's weird too because I had half a Valium before and it still happened. I'm not taking the full dose of my bipolar meds because they make me so sleepy. I'll talk to the new psychiatrist about it all soon. Thanks for chatting to me about it anyway.


----------



## Maslow

I feel okay. We had a great dinner, drank margaritas, and watched a good movie. Now I'm drinking a cup of tea.


----------



## tea111red

harrison said:


> Well at the moment I'm just sitting here listening to some music I like and trying to slow my breathing down - that works a bit sometimes. It's weird too because I had half a Valium before and it still happened. I'm not taking the full dose of my bipolar meds because they make me so sleepy. I'll talk to the new psychiatrist about it all soon. Thanks for chatting to me about it anyway.


no problem.  i really hope you feel better and that your head calms down.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Pensive.

I'm turning 27 soon, and I still haven't been able to find a mental space I feel comfortable in.


----------



## harrison

tea111red said:


> no problem.  i really hope you feel better and that your head calms down.


Yeah, I'll be okay. I'll just try not to accost anyone on the tram into the city.  I tend to get a bit carried away when I'm like this. (my wife said I should stay home but there's no way I'm doing that)


----------



## Fun Spirit

@harrison What happen?


----------



## tea111red

harrison said:


> Yeah, I'll be okay.


alright, good.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry and conflicted


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel corny.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Like I might as well slit my throat and chop my fingers off and shave my head badly and walk in public with a trash bag on and embarrass myself //////wrists


----------



## harrison

Fun Spirit said:


> @harrison What happen?


It's okay - nothing happened, I was just feeling pretty bad before. I'm a lot better now thanks.

Just have a headache.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I'm tired of trying with people. It feels like you have to almost pester and chase people to get there attention, and I'm not doing that ****.


----------



## Eleonora91

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> Birmingham looks like Milan? Sure you weren't highly intoxicated when you were in Birmingham? lol :b
> 
> A know people who prefer Birmingham because of it's size. Even though it's Englands second biggest city, the city centre is easy to get around.
> 
> I'm bored of it though and prefer London because it's so big.
> 
> Oh and thanks. I will try to enjoy myself. Not looking forward to post London blues though, which I know I'll get.


You can tell me more about what you like and dislike about Birmingham in a private message if you want! I want to get to know it better before I move closer to it lol


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Eleonora91 said:


> You can tell me more about what you like and dislike about Birmingham in a private message if you want! I want to get to know it better before I move closer to it lol


Oh I don't really do PMing anymore, but if you're coming back over here and want a tour of Brum, let me know and I'll show you the sites. oke lol It's so much easier to meet people in real life than talk online, which is ironic coming from someone with SA. I can introduce you to the SA group I go to as well.


----------



## Eleonora91

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> Oh I don't really do PMing anymore, but if you're coming back over here and want a tour of Brum, let me know and I'll show you the sites. oke lol It's so much easier to meet people in real life than talk online, which is ironic coming from someone with SA. I can introduce you to the SA group I go to as well.


I'll probably be back this summer!


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Eleonora91 said:


> I'll probably be back this summer!


Cool! You want to meet up for a tour and a coffee and some food, and join the cities SA group, and a couple of other groups based around shyness and mental health issues, let me know. :smile2:


----------



## Eleonora91

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> Cool! You want to meet up for a tour and a coffee and some food, and join the cities SA group, and a couple of other groups based around shyness and mental health issues, let me know. :smile2:


Will do for sure, even though I'll be with my boyfriend so we'll have to weigh our options together.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Eleonora91 said:


> Will do for sure, even though I'll be with my boyfriend so we'll have to weigh our options together.


Does he have similar issues?

I'll meet up with you one to one, but you could come as a couple to the meet up groups. I'd feel awkward giving the pair of you a tour tbh lol. If you're BF was @3stacks I'd be OK with it though, because I've been trying to get him out into the city with me forever lol.


----------



## Eleonora91

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> Does he have similar issues?
> 
> I'll meet up with you one to one, but you could come as a couple to the meet up groups. I'd feel awkward giving the pair of you a tour tbh lol. If you're BF was @*3stacks* I'd be OK with it though, because I've been trying to get him out into the city with me forever lol.


 @3stacks is just my best mate - fortunately for all the other girls out there who will want to snatch him.
You can lure him outside with food anyway.

My boyfriend has social issues as well but we'll probably just visit the city instead.


----------



## Fun Spirit

harrison said:


> It's okay - nothing happened, I was just feeling pretty bad before. I'm a lot better now thanks.
> 
> Just have a headache.


Oh that is good I think I'm glad you're feeling a lot better 

I hope your headache will subside.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Eleonora91 said:


> @3stacks is just my best mate - fortunately for all the other girls out there who will want to snatch him.
> You can lure him outside with food anyway.
> 
> My boyfriend has social issues as well but we'll probably just visit the city instead.


I'm no lady and can't lure him outside with food. :b

Ok cool. I hope you enjoy my Milan lol


----------



## funnynihilist

What's the point?


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

funnynihilist said:


> What's the point?


I have no idea.

I'm like a black hole that never even get's fed, for it to pass right though me. It's worse than being a black hole, empty void that keeps sucking **** in and ****s it back out, and never feels happy. At least they get a chance to suck **** in.


----------



## funnynihilist

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> I have no idea.
> 
> I'm like a black hole that never even get's fed, for it to pass right though me. It's worse than being a black hole, empty void that keeps sucking **** in and ****s it back out, and never feels happy. At least they get a chance to suck **** in.


That's a good analogy, Pete.

I pretty much just sit here doing nothing.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

funnynihilist said:


> That's a good analogy, Pete.
> 
> I pretty much just sit here doing nothing.


:frown2:

I'm trying to do things and meet people for the first time in forever, but it all passes right through me. Before that I sat around, doing nothing, for years, years on end. I can't say anything I do helps me much, if at all. It's hard when you don't feel much. I think all my new found ability to feel, pretty much died with "her" tbh.


----------



## Crisigv

Constantly being beaten up by pain and sickness.


----------



## 3stacks

On today's forecast I'm getting dark clouds of depression with a 100% chance of suicidal thoughts lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Perplexed, and angry.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I caught Harrison's headache LOL. The left side of my head was slightly throbbing. Good thing eating something had knocked it out. It still feel tender though. I think it is because I went to bed late. Thanks a lot to my other friend. LOL. I been feeling tired all day.


----------



## Eleonora91

3stacks said:


> On today's forecast I'm getting dark clouds of depression with a 100% chance of suicidal thoughts lol


:squeeze


----------



## 3stacks

Eleonora91 said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> On today's forecast I'm getting dark clouds of depression with a 100% chance of suicidal thoughts lol
Click to expand...

 :hug


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Ghosted again by the looks of it. Barely know this person though, so not really ghosting I guess.


----------



## Eleonora91

3stacks said:


> :hug


You're gonna be ok D.A.B. mate


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> Perplexed, and angry.


i hope the issue(s) get resolved and that you feel better.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> i hope the issue(s) get resolved and that you feel better.


Thank you.


----------



## Sweet&Sour

my head is fuzzy. dizzyish, my eyes are tired from screen time, bored, and im hungry..


----------



## Shadowweaver

Pretty disgusted by the mouse that invaded my apartment. The sneaky little critter manages to get the bait without triggering the mouse traps!

Well, it's a good opportunity to improve the ability to deal with annoyances mentally.


----------



## Entrensik

I'm feeling pretty good. I just have to keep doing what I'm doing and eventually I'll feel really good. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Sick of feeling alone.


----------



## Chris S W

Insecure, angry, envious, jealous, upset. I punched a wall in the pub I was in because of the news I was told. I really shouldn't feel this way about this, but I just struggle to help it. It's gonna take a few days to digest this, just as it took a few days to digest hearing about my uncle dying last week. It's hard to accept some information.


----------



## SofaKing

Shopping for one, cooking for one, cleaning dishes for one...


Maybe I should see if I can live on water and vitamins.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, but getting things done.


----------



## harrison

Tired - I think yesterday really took it out of me. Glad I can stay home.


----------



## Maslow

I feel like putting a f***in' bullet in my head. But it will pass.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crying while listening to this song.

R.I.P Delores, you will be missed. :crying:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Beautiful singing Anna. :crying:


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Beautiful singing Anna. :crying:


It is. I love this acoustic one by her also.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> It is. I love this acoustic one by her also.


The what the dude look at 1:19+ made me laugh a bit. :lol

But another song with nice singing (good control of her voice).

Thank you for sharing that.






Even she cries to others singing her song.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

I miss who I thought you were. This has caused me so much damage, you don't even know. :crying:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Woke up feeling worse than usual. Sick of all that's wrong and has gone wrong in my life. Sick of it being literally impossible to change somethings, and not having the strength to try and change somethings I could possibly change, because of my ****ing avoidance, depression and anxiety. Just too much overwhelms me so I don't even try.


----------



## fine_again

Barakiel said:


> I saw that you posted in this thread in the Recent Discussions menu and I was hoping your username would be your answer.


Thank you, that's a really nice thing to say--I wasn't expecting a response :smile2:

4 days later, I am indeed fine again. :grin2:


----------



## twitchy666

*new forum section, please*

without: I or YOU as 99% all are

how about posting here?


----------



## fine_again

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> Woke up feeling worse than usual. Sick of all that's wrong and has gone wrong in my life. Sick of it being literally impossible to change somethings, and not having the strength to try and change somethings I could possibly change, because of my ****ing avoidance, depression and anxiety. Just too much overwhelms me so I don't even try.


Relatable. :frown2:

I guess we'll be ready to change things when we're ready... Whenever that will be... Feels like never, sometimes.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

fine_again said:


> Relatable. :frown2:
> 
> I guess we'll be ready to change things when we're ready... Whenever that will be... Feels like never, sometimes.


I don't know how to change tbh. I think I have cluster C personality disorders, which I've had all my adult life.


----------



## 3stacks

Crap


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Anxious, tired.


----------



## fine_again

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> I don't know how to change tbh. I think I have cluster C personality disorders, which I've had all my adult life.


Yeah I feel you. :frown2: With an anxiety/personality disorder, it feels like it's so ingrained that we're not sure we can be anything else, and all we can do is cope as best we can.

But we also must not trick ourselves into thinking that change is impossible. It's not.* If we let ourselves believe it's impossible, surely nothing will ever change, because we already made the decision that things won't.

Hang in there buddy.

_*it's literally not impossible because brain chemistry can change based on our thoughts, feelings, & actions. the more we practice coping techniques/challenging ourselves, positive self-talk, etc, the more familiar our brains are with it. which is why exposure therapy is so effective. and why it's easier to quit smoking after you've already tried quitting several times. (but try to get me to do exposure therapy and quit smoking and I won't. ha!)_


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

fine_again said:


> Yeah I feel you. :frown2: With an anxiety/personality disorder, it feels like it's so ingrained that we're not sure we can be anything else, and all we can do is cope as best we can.
> 
> But we also must not trick ourselves into thinking that change is impossible. It's not.* If we let ourselves believe it's impossible, surely nothing will ever change, because we already made the decision that things won't.
> 
> Hang in there buddy.
> 
> _*it's literally not impossible because brain chemistry can change based on our thoughts, feelings, & actions. the more we practice coping techniques/challenging ourselves, positive self-talk, etc, the more familiar our brains are with it. which is why exposure therapy is so effective. and why it's easier to quit smoking after you've already tried quitting several times. (but try to get me to do exposure therapy and quit smoking and I won't. ha!)_


I'm MUCH better than the reclusive hermit I used to be. If you met me you'd say I don't come across like I have SA and I'm a chilled, laid back mofo lol :b, but, it's took years to get this far and somethings are just a granite walls I'm up against.

Just keep waking up, keep going and hope something good happens. What else is can you do!


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

3stacks said:


> Crap


:hug


Mondo_Fernando said:


> Anxious, tired.


:hug


----------



## fine_again

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> I'm MUCH better than the reclusive hermit I used to be. If you met me you'd say I don't come across like I have SA and I'm a chilled, laid back mofo lol :b, but, it's took years to get this far and somethings are just a granite walls I'm up against.
> 
> Just keep waking up, keep going and hope something good happens. What else is can you do!


Yep!


----------



## love is like a dream

most of times i visit this site, i think a lot about a user who passed away (i don't know why). maybe it's because she was always smiling and was pretty (i don't know the word) but esp pretty in a sense it's impossible not to love her after you see her.

maybe this is why i "actually" cried haha, although she probably didn't know i exist, or maybe noticed me trolling a little bit here or there.


----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Coincidence said:


>


That is a pre tattoo photo.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> :hug
> 
> :hug


Thank you for the hug.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Act of humanity that just made me cry.

@harrison

There was a book written about this incident, which they say is a good read. Not sure if it is your type of book, but just thought I would mention it.


----------



## Shadowweaver

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> I'm MUCH better than the reclusive hermit I used to be. If you met me you'd say I don't come across like I have SA and I'm a chilled, laid back mofo lol :b, but, it's took years to get this far and somethings are just a granite walls I'm up against.
> 
> Just keep waking up, keep going and hope something good happens. What else is can you do!


Can totally relate! Even in my worst SA days, I appeared super-social on the outside, and whenever I told someone that I have a difficulty interacting with people, they would be like, "Really? You? Come on!" >

Looking back now, I see that it was merely a coping mechanism, a way for me to hide from others and, more importantly, from myself that I had an issue that needed to be addressed. A lot of us are really good at hiding from our inner demons. Unfortunately, such strategy can only get us so far.

Keep working on your mental outlook and force seeing the world in a positive light. It takes time, but the change is inevitable, as long as you persist! :wink2:


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Act of humanity that just made me cry.
> 
> @harrison
> 
> There was a book written about this incident, which they say is a good read. Not sure if it is your type of book, but just thought I would mention it.


Thanks mate - will check it out.


----------



## tea111red

not very stimulated.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - will check it out.


You're welcome.


----------



## 3stacks

Too anxious to sleep too and always with the suicidal urges. Don't feel like I'm good enough in fact I know I'm not.


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> Too anxious to sleep too and always with the suicidal urges. Don't feel like I'm good enough in fact I know I'm not.


i got suicidal thoughts today, too. :/


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> Too anxious to sleep too and always with the suicidal urges. Don't feel like I'm good enough in fact I know I'm not.





tea111red said:


> i got suicidal thoughts today, too. :/


Hope both of you are feeling a bit better soon. Hang in there.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That I'm not going to get a pineapple crush drink today.


----------



## 3stacks

tea111red said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Too anxious to sleep too and always with the suicidal urges. Don't feel like I'm good enough in fact I know I'm not.
> 
> 
> 
> i got suicidal thoughts today, too. :/
Click to expand...

 :hug You gonna be ok? If you ever need anything I'm here (not that I offer much lol). Hope you feel better soon.


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Too anxious to sleep too and always with the suicidal urges. Don't feel like I'm good enough in fact I know I'm not.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> tea111red said:
> 
> 
> 
> i got suicidal thoughts today, too. :/
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Hope both of you are feeling a bit better soon. Hang in there.
Click to expand...

 Thank you!


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> Thank you!


Nice new photo mate. (and the little added extra in your description made me laugh again)


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Thank you!
> 
> 
> 
> Nice new photo mate. (and the little added extra in your descripttion made me laugh again)
Click to expand...

 haha thanks I'm glad it did


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> :hug You gonna be ok? If you ever need anything I'm here (not that I offer much lol). Hope you feel better soon.


thank you.....you are sweet.  i just go through these periods sometimes. hopefully tomorrow is not as bad.

i hope you feel better as well. :squeeze


----------



## tea111red

@harrison

thank you. 



3stacks said:


> haha thanks I'm glad it did


it's very bold. :lol


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling better than I was a few days ago. I just wasn't my normal self and I felt bad. 

I finally got my new vehicle and I feel better than I thought I would having my own vehicle. Drove it through the city in a lot of traffic. I was nervous at first but then it started to be fun. Haven't had any problems except getting confused with turning lanes.


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feeling better than I was a few days ago. I just wasn't my normal self and I felt bad.
> 
> I finally got my new vehicle and I feel better than I thought I would having my own vehicle. Drove it through the city in a lot of traffic. I was nervous at first but then it started to be fun. Haven't had any problems except getting confused with turning lanes.


Congrats! A new car is always a good reason for celebration.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> Congrats! A new car is always a good reason for celebration.


Thanks.  It's more freedom for me. I couldn't stop smiling yesterday. It was one of my dad's vehicles he gave to me. I have to get insurance in my name. It's in his name right now so I can drive it. It's an old 4runner. Don't know what year but I'm guessing 97-98. It's in decent shape and good on gas. It's a Toyota and they're pretty reliable from what I hear. I got plenty of room for my groceries, too. I told my dad thank you. It was a big help with him giving it to me instead of me finding my own cause I don't know much about looking for vehicles.

I celebrated by buying myself a big cookie cake. :laugh: I'm going to eat some tomorrow.


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks.  It's more freedom for me. I couldn't stop smiling yesterday. It was one of my dad's vehicles he gave to me. I have to get insurance in my name. It's in his name right now so I can drive it. It's an old 4runner. Don't know what year but I'm guessing 97-98. It's in decent shape and good on gas. It's a Toyota and they're pretty reliable from what I hear. I got plenty of room for my groceries, too. I told my dad thank you. It was a big help with him giving it to me instead of me finding my own cause I don't know much about looking for vehicles.
> 
> I celebrated by buying myself a big cookie cake. :laugh: I'm going to eat some tomorrow.


Wow, an old 4runner! That is a dream car.  They run like tanks and veeeeeery spacey. And the insurance will probably be very affordable.

I will join the celebration with some garlic bread with Tabasco sauce.


----------



## AffinityWing

Dead


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feeling better than I was a few days ago. I just wasn't my normal self and I felt bad.
> 
> I finally got my new vehicle and I feel better than I thought I would having my own vehicle. Drove it through the city in a lot of traffic. I was nervous at first but then it started to be fun. Haven't had any problems except getting confused with turning lanes.


Good to hear that you are feeling better.

Congrats on the new vehicle.

Is it a Toyota Hilux Surf?


----------



## 0589471

Trying to distract myself from all the pain. My back, neck, and head feel like they're being twisted up and squeezed and burned. I would sleep just to block it out, but it's such a waste of these few days I have left.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> Wow, an old 4runner! That is a dream car.  They run like tanks and veeeeeery spacey. And the insurance will probably be very affordable.
> 
> I will join the celebration with some garlic bread with Tabasco sauce.


Oh, it is spacey.  I love it. I'm already saving up for insurance. Gonna try to conserve gas and everything. If I have to do without Internet for a few days every now and then, I can do it as long as I get to have my freedom.

Yay. :yay Sounds like a good food for celebrating.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Trying to distract myself from all the pain. My back, neck, and head feel like they're being twisted up and squeezed and burned. I would sleep just to block it out, but it's such a waste of these few days I have left.


What happened?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Trying to distract myself from all the pain. My back, neck, and head feel like they're being twisted up and squeezed and burned. I would sleep just to block it out, but it's such a waste of these few days I have left.


Awww. :hug


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Oh, it is spacey.  I love it. I'm already saving up for insurance. Gonna try to conserve gas and everything. If I have to do without Internet for a few days every now and then, I can do it as long as I get to have my freedom.
> 
> Yay. :yay Sounds like a good food for celebrating.


 That's really good news!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Good to hear that you are feeling better.
> 
> Congrats on the new vehicle.
> 
> Is it a Toyota Hilux Surf?


Thanks. 

It's like an SUV. I had to Google Toyota Hilux Surf. I guess it is the same thing. Don't know much about car names. Haha.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feeling better than I was a few days ago. I just wasn't my normal self and I felt bad.
> 
> I finally got my new vehicle and I feel better than I thought I would having my own vehicle. Drove it through the city in a lot of traffic. I was nervous at first but then it started to be fun. Haven't had any problems except getting confused with turning lanes.





Mondo_Fernando said:


> Good to hear that you are feeling better.
> 
> Congrats on the new vehicle.
> 
> Is it a Toyota Hilux Surf?


It is the American renaming of the Toyota Hilux Surf (Name in Japan) to 4runner.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks.
> 
> It's like an SUV. I had to Google Toyota Hilux Surf. I guess it is the same thing. Don't know much about car names. Haha.


You're welcome.

It is a Hilux Surf. Usually they rename them differently in the states vs Japan.

We have lots of them downunder and was going to buy one before picked my first car.

Always liked them, got that 4 wheel drive off road look about them.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Trying to distract myself from all the pain. My back, neck, and head feel like they're being twisted up and squeezed and burned. I would sleep just to block it out, but it's such a waste of these few days I have left.


 :hug:squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@PurplePeopleEater That's great! Congrats! 
@A Toxic Butterfly :squeeze


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Oh, it is spacey.  I love it. I'm already saving up for insurance. Gonna try to conserve gas and everything. If I have to do without Internet for a few days every now and then, I can do it as long as I get to have my freedom.
> 
> Yay. :yay Sounds like a good food for celebrating.


You sound very happy! Congrats, again. 

Garlic bread is amazing, as long as my housemates' dog doesn't snatch it from the plate. The bugger has a naughty character!


----------



## xUmbrax

Feeling kind of lost. I've been going to college since the summer of last year and though I have met some very nice people, I can't seem to connect with anyone. I know friendship isn't something you rush, I of all people should know that but it just dawns on me of just how much trouble I have when it comes to socializing. It's...so disheartening. Oh well, surely I'll find another weirdo to goof around with some day.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> It is a Hilux Surf. Usually they rename them differently in the states vs Japan.
> 
> We have lots of them downunder and was going to buy one before picked my first car.
> 
> Always liked them, got that 4 wheel drive off road look about them.


Ah, okay. Was wondering so I had to Google.

Haha. Well, the one I have is nice, too.  Definitely a good first vehicle to have. One of my sisters has a Toyota Camry. It's really nice, too. 
@Shadowweaver Thank you. I am. 

Lol xD Dogs love pretty much anything that's junk food. 
@SamanthaStrange Thanks.  I'm proud of myself. Going to give myself a pat on the back.


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Shadowweaver Thank you. I am.
> 
> Lol xD Dogs love pretty much anything that's junk food.


The grey dog Misha will eat absolutely anything, junk food or not, as long as it is below its jumping height. 

My Ford says hi to your Toyota!



http://imgur.com/tqDp2fV


----------



## leaf in the wind

Off the rails


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> The grey dog Misha will eat absolutely anything, junk food or not, as long as it is below its jumping height.
> 
> My Ford says hi to your Toyota!
> 
> 
> 
> http://imgur.com/tqDp2fV


That's a pretty name for a dog. Only thing I don't like about dogs is when they keep barking over and over. xD

Oh, cool. That's a nice ride you got there. Mine is black, too. :laugh:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Ah, okay. Was wondering so I had to Google.
> 
> Haha. Well, the one I have is nice, too.  Definitely a good first vehicle to have. One of my sisters has a Toyota Camry. It's really nice, too.


It gets confusing sometimes when looking for parts direct from Japan and don't realize they are the same car, just different names. Basically a good bit of info to know.

Toyota make good engines. Sometimes find some families are into one car manufacturer, as know the car well enough and know who to service it, where to get parts from, etc.


----------



## 3stacks

tea111red said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> You gonna be ok? If you ever need anything I'm here (not that I offer much lol). Hope you feel better soon.
> 
> 
> 
> thank you.....you are sweet.  i just go through these periods sometimes. hopefully tomorrow is not as bad.
> 
> i hope you feel better as well.
Click to expand...

 No problem, I hope it doesn't last long this time.


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> That's a pretty name for a dog. Only thing I don't like about dogs is when they keep barking over and over. xD
> 
> Oh, cool. That's a nice ride you got there. Mine is black, too. :laugh:


Our dogs are pretty quiet most of the time, when they stay in their rooms. It is when we let them roam around the house in the evening that chaos begins. 

Thanks! The pic is from the Death Valley. A place where our black cars aren't welcome.  Regardless, black cars are the best. :hs



Mondo_Fernando said:


> It gets confusing sometimes when looking for parts direct from Japan and don't realize they are the same car, just different names. Basically a good bit of info to know.
> 
> Toyota make good engines. Sometimes find some families are into one car manufacturer, as know the car well enough and know who to service it, where to get parts from, etc.


Yes, it is very strange how different countries label cars differently. The US, Canada, Australia and Japan all have their own unique names for cars. And they even have their own unique brands sometimes that aren't produced elsewhere!

At least the brands themselves aren't called differently.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Shadowweaver said:


> Yes, it is very strange how different countries label cars differently. The US, Canada, Australia and Japan all have their own unique names for cars. And they even have their own unique brands sometimes that aren't produced elsewhere!
> 
> At least the brands themselves aren't called differently.


:yes

Brands changing names would be very confusing.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Mine is black, too. :laugh:


I was following a newish ẃhite Toyota Hilux today with polished rollbar and it looked nice and shiny.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I was following a newish ẃhite Toyota Hilux today with polished rollbar and it looked nice and shiny.


Awesome. :laugh: I looked at the newer models on the Internet and they look really nice.
@Shadowweaver What kind of dogs are they?

The picture looks cool. Lol :high5


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Awesome. :laugh: I looked at the newer models on the Internet and they look really nice.







This is what we use them for downunder, so don't stay clean for very long. :b

Crumpy giving it a test drive.  :b

She be right he would say. :lol


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Shadowweaver What kind of dogs are they?
> 
> The picture looks cool. Lol :high5


I'm ashamed to admit that I don't know.  I'm terrible at knowing dog breeds. From googling, it seems that Micha is a Siberian Husky, and the other one could be a Labrador.

They are travelling right now, so I can't get a closer look!



Mondo_Fernando said:


> I was following a newish ẃhite Toyota Hilux today with polished rollbar and it looked nice and shiny.


I really like the older versions of Hilux:










Glorious!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Shadowweaver said:


> I really like the older versions of Hilux:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Glorious!


There is something about the older Hilux, maybe the front, rims that makes it look good.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm mad right now. Yea, I'm glad I have my own car but I lost my notebook that had important things in it. It had all my passwords, ingredients for cooking, etc. I took everything out of my drawers twice and can't find it.  I'm so tired of losing stuff. Doesn't help the fact that I get told to put everything of mine in drawers and I think that's partly the reason why these people tell me to do it so I'll always lose stuff. Can't keep track of stuff in clutter. It's a big purple notebook. There's no way I can't find it. I'm just so tired of losing crap. I even took stuff out of my drawers twice. This makes no sense and it's nagging at me right now when it really shouldn't. But there's important stuff in it and I can't help but dwell on it. *sigh* I haven't ever lost it before.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm mad right now. Yea, I'm glad I have my own car but I lost my notebook that had important things in it. It had all my passwords, ingredients for cooking, etc. I took everything out of my drawers twice and can't find it.  I'm so tired of losing stuff. Doesn't help the fact that I get told to put everything of mine in drawers and I think that's partly the reason why these people tell me to do it so I'll always lose stuff. Can't keep track of stuff in clutter. It's a big purple notebook. There's no way I can't find it. I'm just so tired of losing crap. I even took stuff out of my drawers twice. This makes no sense and it's nagging at me right now when it really shouldn't. But there's important stuff in it and I can't help but dwell on it. *sigh* I haven't ever lost it before.


Think it's time for me to get one of those dividers where you can put the labels on it to organize stuff. I found my notebook but it was in one of my big bags I have on the floor. I put it there after I was told at 8 in the morning to organize my room again not long before I had work so I guess I was in a rush and put it somewhere new where I never put it. :no I never fail to lose things or be clumsy as hell. I even organized my drawers somewhat yesterday to get rid of things I didn't need like I do every now and then. Didn't get it all done cause I had a really busy day yesterday. There isn't much else I need to get rid of. And my room is never dirty except for having like one small pile on the floor and grocery bags that I use for trash. Can't have a lot of things on my dresser anymore even though it's easier to find things that way than just making me stuff it all inside my drawers. -_-

But that's next on my list to buy I guess when I get a chance to.


----------



## slyfox

Without hope


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Trace your steps with what you lost.

Usually find it that way.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Agitated, lonely, bored. Lovely combo.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Not bad. Had a nice lunch with my mom.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Anxious as hell.


----------



## Shadowweaver

Started practicing slow breathing and mindful meditation. Always viewed these eastern concept with scepticism, but wow, they actually make so much difference... I feel like I'm rapidly becoming calmer as a person, not just in social interactions, but in every area of my life.

Dreaded having to finish my paper by the end of the next week. After practicing meditation for a few minutes in the morning, I'm now like, "Next week is next week. Right now I have a Sunday and I'm going to enjoy it!"

I wonder if that's what children are like. Focusing on enjoying the present moment and not worrying about the future. It feels good to get some of that attitude back!


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm mad right now. Yea, I'm glad I have my own car but I lost my notebook that had important things in it. It had all my passwords, ingredients for cooking, etc. I took everything out of my drawers twice and can't find it.  I'm so tired of losing stuff. Doesn't help the fact that I get told to put everything of mine in drawers and I think that's partly the reason why these people tell me to do it so I'll always lose stuff. Can't keep track of stuff in clutter. It's a big purple notebook. There's no way I can't find it. I'm just so tired of losing crap. I even took stuff out of my drawers twice. This makes no sense and it's nagging at me right now when it really shouldn't. But there's important stuff in it and I can't help but dwell on it. *sigh* I haven't ever lost it before.


I know how it feels: I'm really bad at keeping track of where all of my things are, and regularly lose something.

The only thing I can suggest is putting important things somewhere where you can clearly see them, or keeping a journal listing the locations of all important things. Otherwise it gets too random and chaotic, no matter how organised you are. :stu


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

SamanthaStrange said:


> Not bad. Had a nice lunch with my mom.


Not bad!


----------



## SofaKing

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Anxious as hell.


Yeep


----------



## Shawn81

Very stressed.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> I know how it feels: I'm really bad at keeping track of where all of my things are, and regularly lose something.
> 
> The only thing I can suggest is putting important things somewhere where you can clearly see them, or keeping a journal listing the locations of all important things. Otherwise it gets too random and chaotic, no matter how organised you are. :stu


I used to keep my most important things on my dresser. Im not supposed to have many things on my dresser anymore. It's a rule in the place I'm staying so I'm just gonna keep most of my things in my drawers. Hopefully, I get used to finding where they are after awhile.

Yea, it might get that way for me. Idk yet. Im a forgetful person. I used to have a good memory knowing where all my things were but the more responsibilities you have can make you forget things cause you have more to remember.

I did find my notebook, though.


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I used to keep my most important things on my dresser. Im not supposed to have many things on my dresser anymore. It's a rule in the place I'm staying so I'm just gonna keep most of my things in my drawers. Hopefully, I get used to finding where they are after awhile.
> 
> Yea, it might get that way for me. Idk yet. Im a forgetful person. I used to have a good memory knowing where all my things were but the more responsibilities you have can make you forget things cause you have more to remember.
> 
> I did find my notebook, though.


What I sometimes do when I really need to remember something, but can't be bothered writing it up somewhere, is I make a physical association with it. For example, I can place a pencil on the part of my table that is usually empty, while thinking about what I need to remember. Then, whenever I see that pencil, the association pops up, and I immediately remember what it was about.

Too many things happen in our lives to always remember everything, so it's really helpful to have some sort of a reminder system in place.


----------



## Maslow

I had a good day. The tequila didn't hurt.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I feel like @Maslow is floating around over my head. And is probably floating in tequila land.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> What I sometimes do when I really need to remember something, but can't be bothered writing it up somewhere, is I make a physical association with it. For example, I can place a pencil on the part of my table that is usually empty, while thinking about what I need to remember. Then, whenever I see that pencil, the association pops up, and I immediately remember what it was about.
> 
> Too many things happen in our lives to always remember everything, so it's really helpful to have some sort of a reminder system in place.


Ah, that's a good idea. Thanks for the tip. 

Anything that helps, I'll take it. Before I had work, I couldn't find my ID. Turns out I couldn't find it in my pocketbook cause it was too dark. I mean it was in the afternoon but guess I needed the light to find it or I was in a rush cause I looked for it at the last minute. I always double check my things.


----------



## 0589471

I don't want to be close to anyone anymore


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> I don't want to be close to anyone anymore


Awww. :hug


----------



## funnynihilist

I am another person in need of a miracle


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Ah, that's a good idea. Thanks for the tip.
> 
> Anything that helps, I'll take it. Before I had work, I couldn't find my ID. Turns out I couldn't find it in my pocketbook cause it was too dark. I mean it was in the afternoon but guess I needed the light to find it or I was in a rush cause I looked for it at the last minute. I always double check my things.


You're welcome!

I keep all my credit cards, IDs and such in one wallet, which is always in the same pocket of my backpack, which makes it very easy to find anything. Of course, there are drawbacks as well: should the wallet or the backpack be lost, well...


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

funnynihilist said:


> I am another person in need of a miracle


Tired of feeling like this. :frown2:


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Shadowweaver said:


> What I sometimes do when I really need to remember something, but can't be bothered writing it up somewhere, is I make a physical association with it. For example, I can place a pencil on the part of my table that is usually empty, while thinking about what I need to remember. Then, whenever I see that pencil, the association pops up, and I immediately remember what it was about.


 I do this too (though it took me ages to recognize it as being a useful thing to do). Because I'm so forgetful I have had to come up with some pretty weird ideas for dealing with it. This kind of works if it isn't too long after the fact. But eventually I would treat the pencil as pointless clutter. Although I guess you mean you use the pencil on the table routinely to remind you to write things down. It's easier if it is something I often do but sometimes I still forget why it's there. Like I'll turn my medication bottles upside down sometimes if I took a pill and don't feel like filling up the weekly pill thing. I often forget whether I took it or not and how long they have been turned.


----------



## Eleonora91

I tires to nap on something that was bothering me for 3 hours.
It didn't work.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not too good. My vehicle already ****s up after only having it 4 days. Almost made it late to work. Had to get my seafood manager to come get me. She said I need to buy a jumper cable for it. My dad didn't tell me Id have to check to see if it doesn't turn on. Id think that would be the most important thing to tell me cause I could've been late to work. Now I might have to walk home. I hope I don't have to fix it frequently cause if I do I don't want my own vehicle.


----------



## Shadowweaver

WillYouStopDave said:


> I do this too (though it took me ages to recognize it as being a useful thing to do). Because I'm so forgetful I have had to come up with some pretty weird ideas for dealing with it. This kind of works if it isn't too long after the fact. But eventually I would treat the pencil as pointless clutter. Although I guess you mean you use the pencil on the table routinely to remind you to write things down. It's easier if it is something I often do but sometimes I still forget why it's there. Like I'll turn my medication bottles upside down sometimes if I took a pill and don't feel like filling up the weekly pill thing. I often forget whether I took it or not and how long they have been turned.


Indeed, that can happen. I try to always use different things as reminders, and I don't use them too often, since most of the time I don't have anything to remember.

With regular things, such as medications which you need to take periodically, I would try something like phone reminder alarms. On modern phones you can set an alarm that will automatically trigger every day at the specified times, and if you only have one thing to keep track of, then the alarm will always let you know what you need to do.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Not too good. My vehicle already ****s up after only having it 4 days. Almost made it late to work. Had to get my seafood manager to come get me. She said I need to buy a jumper cable for it. My dad didn't tell me Id have to check to see if it doesn't turn on. Id think that would be the most important thing to tell me cause I could've been late to work. Now I might have to walk home. I hope I don't have to fix it frequently cause if I do I don't want my own vehicle.


Before I bought my vehicle, I rode a bicycle, which, after 3.5 years, got to a sorry state. You would never know what would happen every time you rode it: the chain could fall off on the way and take a few minutes to be put back, one of the wheels could split away from the bicycle, one of the tires could pop, the handlebar could fall off... Forced me to always leave 20 minutes earlier to account for that, and to always carry a lot of mechanical junk with me for repairs.

Hope in your case it is just a one-time occurrence!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Not too good. My vehicle already ****s up after only having it 4 days. Almost made it late to work. Had to get my seafood manager to come get me. She said I need to buy a jumper cable for it. My dad didn't tell me Id have to check to see if it doesn't turn on. Id think that would be the most important thing to tell me cause I could've been late to work. Now I might have to walk home. I hope I don't have to fix it frequently cause if I do I don't want my own vehicle.


With cars come servicing which isn't cheap (never have hand out of pocket as they say). Changing engine oil, brake fluid, etc. Then warrant of fitness, etc.

It sounds like battery needs changing (every 2-3 years need to change battery). Can recharge the battery, but don't expect it to last long, as wet cell batteries don't like low cycling (near empty). Unless it is a racing car battery which is a dry cell and can low cycle.

If the new 24 volt system on your car, the battery needs to match (should have a code on it) and be installed correctly. There is a device they attach to protect your cars electrics.

Basically with freedom there becomes a price.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> Indeed, that can happen. I try to always use different things as reminders, and I don't use them too often, since most of the time I don't have anything to remember.
> 
> With regular things, such as medications which you need to take periodically, I would try something like phone reminder alarms. On modern phones you can set an alarm that will automatically trigger every day at the specified times, and if you only have one thing to keep track of, then the alarm will always let you know what you need to do.
> 
> Before I bought my vehicle, I rode a bicycle, which, after 3.5 years, got to a sorry state. You would never know what would happen every time you rode it: the chain could fall off on the way and take a few minutes to be put back, one of the wheels could split away from the bicycle, one of the tires could pop, the handlebar could fall off... Forced me to always leave 20 minutes earlier to account for that, and to always carry a lot of mechanical junk with me for repairs.
> 
> Hope in your case it is just a one-time occurrence!


Oh wow. Id just walk to work if I had to use a bicycle like that. :S Unless it's more than an hour away to get to your destination.

It would just be pointless to pay my insurance if I have to keep fixing it. I don't make much money at all. Have to buy all my groceries and essentials and pay the lightbill. I don't know if I can do it. I'll really have to go without eating barely anything for half the month probably. Haha.

Fingers crossed it only happens every now and then. Worst case scenario is I'll just have to go back to walking again.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

@PurplePeopleEater

I'd agree with the earlier post that said it probably just needs a new battery. Especially if it sat for awhile before they gave it to you. Battery can go completely dead pretty fast if a vehicle sits. They're designed to be driven every day so the battery is only as good as it needs to be to make that happen. When a car battery goes into deep discharge it is pretty much fried. It will probably not be the same even after recharging.

New battery at Walmart - $50 - $80 and they'll probably install it for you. But it could be something else. That's what I don't like about old cars. I don't know enough about them to know for sure what's wrong and a mechanic will usually charge an hour of labor to diagnose.


----------



## funnynihilist

Bloated


----------



## Graeme1988

No aw that happy, if am honest...

Just got f__kin' coerced intae learning the drums by muh oldest sister. Thanks to her _"Huh ! How no?!"_ counter arguing tae me going _Eh... Nah, dinnae think so! Am no that great a musician"_ Guitar... ? Awrite, I guess. Bass? There's odd moment here n' there. Keyboard? Decent for someone with limited playing ability and a lack of music theory knowledge. Drums? Aye, why no? I apparently just sit about not doing much anyway...

Meanwhile, the middle sibling proved some comedic relief with her _"Naw! Cannae be f__kin' arsed"_ to our Mum suggesting that she take her daughter's bike to the garage which is just at our backdoor and see if someone there could get the stabilisers off, cuz none of us had any luck. She eventually caved and got our mother to take the bike to garage and the stabilisers were removed. But she made such a fuss aboot it... :mad Though, nae doubt, we're still the yin who's _"dae nuthin"_ for her. _And they think I'm lazy..._

Also, despite growing up in a household where man-hating wus the norm, I'm the first person who got asked to help try n' get the stabilisers off ma niece's bike. Which is quite ironic...


----------



## SparklingWater

Amused, annoyed. Curious. Hopeful. There's a feeling I can't exactly find a word for too. Hope it comes to me later.


----------



## harrison

Tired.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> I don't want to be close to anyone anymore


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired, hopeful, lonely, and sometimes horny. Yeah, a weird combination of feelings for sure.


----------



## Fun Spirit

My allergies must be acting up. My eyes just started to tear up.


----------



## Suchness

Fun Spirit said:


> My allergies must be acting up. My eyes just started to tear up.


It's a good time to film a crying scene.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed, and self-loathing.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Suchness said:


> It's a good time to film a crying scene.


Yeah I'll be sure to add it to your Flow movie


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Oh wow. Id just walk to work if I had to use a bicycle like that. :S Unless it's more than an hour away to get to your destination.
> 
> It would just be pointless to pay my insurance if I have to keep fixing it. I don't make much money at all. Have to buy all my groceries and essentials and pay the lightbill. I don't know if I can do it. I'll really have to go without eating barely anything for half the month probably. Haha.
> 
> Fingers crossed it only happens every now and then. Worst case scenario is I'll just have to go back to walking again.


You get used to it after a few falls.  It was not a comfortable ride by any means, but when you know what to expect, it isn't as bad as it sounds. And on a positive note, nobody can steal your bicycle, since nobody else can ride it! Even from the outside it looks scary to ride, as the handlebar is attached to the body only by a few layers of tape.

I'd talk to your dad about the car situation: he probably knows how often it happens and what can be done about it.

When I was really broke after the second year of grad school, I held on for over a month by just eating boiled rice and oatmeal and drinking water. It is a good way to drop some weight, but not the best way to go in general. Better, if it comes to it, return to walking for a bit and save some money for repairs, I'd say!


----------



## Shadowweaver

WillYouStopDave said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> I'd agree with the earlier post that said it probably just needs a new battery. Especially if it sat for awhile before they gave it to you. Battery can go completely dead pretty fast if a vehicle sits. They're designed to be driven every day so the battery is only as good as it needs to be to make that happen. When a car battery goes into deep discharge it is pretty much fried. It will probably not be the same even after recharging.
> 
> New battery at Walmart - $50 - $80 and they'll probably install it for you. But it could be something else. That's what I don't like about old cars. I don't know enough about them to know for sure what's wrong and a mechanic will usually charge an hour of labor to diagnose.


It really is a no-win situation for us, simple folks. You get a new shiny car - you get into years of heavy debt. You get a very old car - you have to live with the reality of things breaking every now and then, and you not knowing the source of the issue. You get a car in the middle - you get both a mild debt and occasional break-ups.

We really need some sort of budget-oriented cars! Not those Corollas that go for $18,000, but something new that anyone with income could buy. I still don't quite understand why that niche is non-existent in the US; say, in China there are very affordable, even if lousy, new cars almost anyone can buy. But in the US, when buying a new or even 2-3 years old car, you can rarely get away with less than $10k.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed, and self-loathing.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thanks.


----------



## Shadowweaver

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed, and self-loathing.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Shadowweaver said:


>


Thanks.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks.


No problem, hun. :grin2:


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> I'd agree with the earlier post that said it probably just needs a new battery. Especially if it sat for awhile before they gave it to you. Battery can go completely dead pretty fast if a vehicle sits. They're designed to be driven every day so the battery is only as good as it needs to be to make that happen. When a car battery goes into deep discharge it is pretty much fried. It will probably not be the same even after recharging.
> 
> New battery at Walmart - $50 - $80 and they'll probably install it for you. But it could be something else. That's what I don't like about old cars. I don't know enough about them to know for sure what's wrong and a mechanic will usually charge an hour of labor to diagnose.


We have someone that's a mechanic in the trailer park so he fixed it. It was corrosion that got on the battery. Well, he didn't really fix it cause there was nothing to be fixed. So it's working now. Just gonna have to crank it an hour before work just in case I have to walk.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> We have someone that's a mechanic in the trailer park so he fixed it. It was corrosion that got on the battery. Well, he didn't really fix it cause there was nothing to be fixed. So it's working now. Just gonna have to crank it an hour before work just in case I have to walk.


Good to hear that it is fixed.

We on here can only go by what you say. Not until look at it, can see all the issues like that mechanic did. But replacing the battery is worth it in my opinion, especially if has been in the elements a lot.

There is a spray from CRC called battery terminal protector which protects terminals from corroding again. That is if mechanic didn't spray some on (looks yellow when sprayed on the terminals).


----------



## donistired

Been about two weeks since I graduated. Still looking for a job. Going to bed angry and anxious every night thinking about the first student loan payment I have to make even though it's months away. I look at everything I could do, even the simplest things I could do, and I feel terrified and inept. I'm aching inside and I don't know what to do. Shouldn't of gone to college. I wasn't made for it. Of course, I don't feel I quite fit into anything.


----------



## Shadowweaver

Don said:


> Been about two weeks since I graduated. Still looking for a job. Going to bed angry and anxious every night thinking about the first student loan payment I have to make even though it's months away. I look at everything I could do, even the simplest things I could do, and I feel terrified and inept. I'm aching inside and I don't know what to do. Shouldn't of gone to college. I wasn't made for it. Of course, I don't feel I quite fit into anything.


On the flip side, had you not gone to college, you would be thinking now, "I should have gone to college". Grass is always greener on the other side.  Finding a decent job is always hard and takes some time, but in the end you'll find what you are looking for!


----------



## donistired

Shadowweaver said:


> [On the flip side, had you not gone to college, you would be thinking now, "I should have gone to college". Grass is always greener on the other side.  Finding a decent job is always hard and takes some time, but in the end you'll find what you are looking for!


Right now it's hard for me to look at it that way, but I genuinely hope that I will. Feeling like I'm coming out of college banging my head on the wall over essays and exams to banging my head on the wall for a job and student loan debt all the while trying to figure out how to live well with my mental health issues.


----------



## Graeme1988

Wish ah did’nae huv to constantly answer the question of how ah cope, living with a disability. 

Ah being asked... It’s simple, really: I accept it and move on. And don’t complain or feel sorry for myself.


----------



## Graeme1988

Struggle quite a bit, lately. No really sleep much due to insomnia, and I’ve got writer’s block as far as my instrumental songwriting goes. So I’m feel pretty depressed as a result.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Creeped out and sad. We found out that the last 4th victim that was tragically killed in my home State city back up North during a factory explosion was our last Landlord's youngest son. We couldn't believe it. It was eerie.


----------



## Shadowweaver

Don said:


> Right now it's hard for me to look at it that way, but I genuinely hope that I will. Feeling like I'm coming out of college banging my head on the wall over essays and exams to banging my head on the wall for a job and student loan debt all the while trying to figure out how to live well with my mental health issues.


You definitely will. 

Myself, I messed up my education a little bit, choosing the wrong field early on. By the end of the grad school, I realized that I have two main employment options: either work in academia in physics, which I had absolutely zero desire to do, or go into data science, which pays extremely well, but very difficult to get a job in given my visa status. I ended up pursuing my passion and starting a second grad school, in mathematics, but the downside is that I will be likely around 35 by the time I graduate. It's fine from the career perspective, but a lot of time was spent on something that will never really pay off. Such is life!

I also have never quite fit into the mainstream society: office jobs really aren't my thing. I prefer to have a lot of freedom and independence, and that really limits the career options. But on the flip side, work is never going to be boring, even if it doesn't pay as well as some other jobs.

What kind of jobs are you looking at, if you don't mind me asking?


----------



## WillYouStopDave

:blank


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kind of annoyed I missed my show again tonight but had something more important to do.


----------



## donistired

Shadowweaver said:


> Myself, I messed up my education a little bit, choosing the wrong field early on. By the end of the grad school, I realized that I have two main employment options: either work in academia in physics, which I had absolutely zero desire to do, or go into data science, which pays extremely well, but very difficult to get a job in given my visa status. I ended up pursuing my passion and starting a second grad school, in mathematics, but the downside is that I will be likely around 35 by the time I graduate. It's fine from the career perspective, but a lot of time was spent on something that will never really pay off. Such is life!
> 
> I also have never quite fit into the mainstream society: office jobs really aren't my thing. I prefer to have a lot of freedom and independence, and that really limits the career options. But on the flip side, work is never going to be boring, even if it doesn't pay as well as some other jobs.
> 
> What kind of jobs are you looking at, if you don't mind me asking?


At the moment literally anything. Even just a overnight stocking job. I'd like to do something with minimal contact with people and that's hard to find; I live at home and I'm completely reliant on my parents, which isn't good. I'm not even sure if I have the social skills to make a decent impression in interviews.

I'm not really a person with a lot of ambitions and don't even have a dream job. I got my bachelors in English with a philsophy minor, because those were my interests coming out of high school, and because college is the social norm. I originally planned to get my masters, but I kind of feel traumatized by the whole experience of college. I felt suicidal doing undergraduate studies and I don't think I could mentally handle pursuing my Masters and trying to be a "scholar" yet.

Most people who think of an English major think "teacher" even though that's not exclusively what English majors can do or really what I want to do. I kinda like writing especially it's about stuff that interests me. Ideally I'd be doing something like freelance writing or other at home/online work with minimal human contact, which, so far, I haven't found anything I think I'd be truly qualified/good at.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

Tired.
I'm just tired of all the unnecessary stuff that comes with people, passive aggressiveness, gaslighting, extreme selfishness, lying about everything from what they're doing that day to why they can't hang out.

All of it's unnecessary, and the worst part is is that all of this is painfully obvious to the point where it's borderline obnoxious.

I just feel like a grumpy old man and I'm barely halfway through my 20s.


----------



## 3stacks

So crap


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Kind of anxious. Kind of bored. Depressed. Lonely.


----------



## roxslide

Ok better now but still pretty **** honestly. Also guilty about stuff. And tired. I built my loft bed at least. My cat seems to like it. But I think I need to make a more convenient way for him to get on and off. 

My cat is honestly the best. I don't know what I would do without him.

I feel embarrassed about my freak out earlier.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.


----------



## Suchness

Like I can do this.


----------



## riverbird

Confused and heartbroken. Ugh.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

riverbird said:


> Confused and heartbroken. Ugh.


:squeeze


----------



## Shadowweaver

Absolutely ecstatic! I sometimes catch this wave when I just feel on top of the world, constantly smile, my walk becomes energetic like that of Ace Ventura, etc.

Trying to figure out how to remain in this state permanently. It comes and goes, but I think I'm slowly learning how to summon it at will.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Miserable and trapped.


----------



## 3stacks

Lonely and crap


----------



## BeautyandRage

I feel anxious from people messaging me on fb after I posted something about literally getting anxiety from private messaging on fb.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Worried about my vehicle. I wish they had services for people like me who can't get a bus to work and back home and who can't always rely on other people to get them to work. I really don't need to be walking 50 minutes in the heat or the rain. I literally never see anyone else walking to work so don't see why I should. If a bus came down my way, I would've taken it months ago. *sigh* If only there was a better way.


----------



## Euripides

Desperate and exasperated. I'm alone. Awake for a few days and nights. I dissociate by listening to the same podcast I don't really listen to. To hear people I'm familiar with talk about things I don't care about. I'm in emergency mode but it's so long and there's no escape, it's a dulled dreading doom pain and anxiety. The knowledge there is nothing or no one, guaranteed, for so much more longer. There are two people that matter, but both have more important people to them. And a while ago both have basically told me to **** off. I don't have "my person" anymore. She has someone else. The one she chose over me. I'm so alone. I can't do anything like this, and I can't express either. I have nothing and no one. I am nothing and no one. Consciousness is useless. Waiting waiting waiting for leftover scraps. Scraps that both mean the world to me, and are such painful shadows of themselves.

It's only 19h. It's only Thursday. 

Empathy from madness. Deliverance from malaise. Please, I just want to come home again. And be filled with gladness at that only spirit that I crave.

Please. 
I can't take this. But I do.


----------



## Edwirdd

3stacks said:


> Lonely and crap


this. we're almost the same person


----------



## Toad Licker

Almost human


----------



## 3stacks

Edwirdd said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Lonely and crap
> 
> 
> 
> this. we're almost the same person
Click to expand...

  we are


----------



## CNikki

riverbird said:


> Confused and heartbroken. Ugh.


I wish words could help alleviate some of the pain you're going through right now. Stay strong. :hug


----------



## BeautyandRage

3stacks said:


> we are


Nice emoticon


----------



## 3stacks

BeautyandRage said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> we are
> 
> 
> 
> Nice emoticon
Click to expand...

 :huh


----------



## BeautyandRage

3stacks said:


> :huh


It shows up a bunch of words for me. Maybe it's a glitch idk lol


----------



## 3stacks

BeautyandRage said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> It shows up a bunch of words for me. Maybe it's a glitch idk lol
Click to expand...

 oh yeah I'm on my phone so I don't even see the emoticons but it was called "huh" and it would be the perfect time to use it now lol


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Relieved. Turned the vehicle off then turned it back on again and it worked after putting in a used battery. I can use it until I pay for a new one. Hopefully this will be a good vehicle where it only has to be worked on every now and then.


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Relieved. Turned the vehicle off then turned it back on again and it worked after putting in a used battery. I can use it until I pay for a new one. Hopefully this will be a good vehicle where it only has to be worked on every now and then.


Well, it is a Toyota. I wouldn't worry too much about it demanding constant repairs, as long as this battery works. 

I need to send my car into the dealership for maintenance myself. Was supposed to do it at 70k miles, and now approaching 80k... Going for a 3-week long trip at the beginning of June, so better have the car prepared for that.


----------



## Ekardy

Feeling pretty stupid now.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> Well, it is a Toyota. I wouldn't worry too much about it demanding constant repairs, as long as this battery works.
> 
> I need to send my car into the dealership for maintenance myself. Was supposed to do it at 70k miles, and now approaching 80k... Going for a 3-week long trip at the beginning of June, so better have the car prepared for that.


Lol Yea, it's a 98 Toyota 4runner. Figured it was around 97-99. I wouldn't think it would need much done to it. 

Oh, good luck! That's a good idea to take it to the shop ahead of time. :yes


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol Yea, it's a 98 Toyota 4runner. Figured it was around 97-99. I wouldn't think it would need much done to it.
> 
> Oh, good luck! That's a good idea to take it to the shop ahead of time. :yes


Better keep it in a good shape still! You might be able to sell it in 20-30 years for a fortune. 

Thanks! Pretty sure it won't be cheap, but probably much cheaper than waiting around for something major to break down.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Feeling pretty stupid now.


 Aww!  :hug :squeeze


----------



## BeautyandRage

Old


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Relieved. Turned the vehicle off then turned it back on again and it worked after putting in a used battery. I can use it until I pay for a new one. Hopefully this will be a good vehicle where it only has to be worked on every now and then.


Good to hear.



Ekardy said:


> Feeling pretty stupid now.


You are actually quite smart.



BeautyandRage said:


> Old


Same.


----------



## Edwirdd




----------



## 0589471

Tired. Distracted, slightly amused watching my dog try to catch a fly in my bedroom. It's irritating me so I'm hoping he'll get a good chomp :lol Every time the fly buzzes over my head, my dog barks like he has to protect me from it or thinking it'll listen. The fly seems to be learning too, it's been flying lower and seems to recognize that over my head is the safest spot because my dog can't reach it. :bah


----------



## timealime

Deaf Mute said:


> I need more music


Same same


----------



## timealime

Just found this website didn't know it existed. Just eating granola at 1am thinking about how my life is going nowhere.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Tired. Distracted, slightly amused watching my dog try to catch a fly in my bedroom. It's irritating me so I'm hoping he'll get a good chomp :lol Every time the fly buzzes over my head, my dog barks like he has to protect me from it or thinking it'll listen. The fly seems to be learning too, it's been flying lower and seems to recognize that over my head is the safest spot because my dog can't reach it. :bah


:lol

Now that's what I call a slice of life post.


----------



## tea111red

sleep schedule is messed up again. 

don't feel comfortable being or that welcome on here. i want to not feel the need to come here. they won't fix the technical problems on here, either. it's just ridiculous.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> Better keep it in a good shape still! You might be able to sell it in 20-30 years for a fortune.
> 
> Thanks! Pretty sure it won't be cheap, but probably much cheaper than waiting around for something major to break down.


:crying: I'm **** out of luck again. Tried cranking it and it's not working again. It worked last night after I cranked it. I can't stop crying. I don't know what's going on.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> :crying: I'm **** out of luck again. Tried cranking it and it's not working again. It worked last night after I cranked it. I can't stop crying. I don't know what's going on.


:hug

Do you have a description of exactly what you are doing, like turning key and it makes what sound?

Usually can hear click behind dash and the fuel pump primes.

Then after fuel pump primes, and when turn key to start engine, the engine turns over. When let go of key engine runs.

What does your car do?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :hug
> 
> Do you have a description of exactly what you are doing, like turning key and it makes what sound?
> 
> Usually can hear click behind dash and the fuel pump primes.
> 
> Then after fuel pump primes, and when turn key to start engine, the engine turns over. When let go of key engine runs.
> 
> What does your car do?


It's still making a clicking noise coming from the dash. Don't know what else you can do other than turning it on and trying to crank it.

So I just got a stranger to take me to work.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Did you replace the battery or is it still the same battery?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> Did you replace the battery or is it still the same battery?


It's a used battery. Had a new alternator put in it, too.


----------



## 3stacks

Same as usual. lonely and want to die


----------



## farfegnugen

^ Hey, give yourself a break and find something fun to do no matter how silly or stupid it seems

I am worn out and beat.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I just want to disappear.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> It's still making a clicking noise coming from the dash. Don't know what else you can do other than turning it on and trying to crank it.
> 
> So I just got a stranger to take me to work.


Listening to the different sounds it makes, can help pinpoint where the issue is located.

Still might be battery running flat for some reason, as that clicking and nothing else would indicate there is not enough voltage from battery or a starter motor issue.

Would need to check voltage from battery to confirm via a multi meter (auto electrican has a multi meter).

If battery is low, might have something draining the battery in the car somewhere, as you said the battery keeps draining overnight and doesn't start.

I had a boot light bulb that had to remove which would drain the battery. Common problem on my car.

It can be other things draining battery like alternator as one example, bulbs inside cabin, boot / trunk, hence why an auto electrician is the best person to look at it. They can do the test's on the bulb sockets, etc and trace the drain issue to it's source.

Sometimes find if turn off incabin light, located in the roof that lights up after opening door, the engine might start (might be enough in battery to start or crank engine).


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Listening to the different sounds it makes, can help pinpoint where the issue is located.
> 
> Still might be battery running flat for some reason, as that clicking and nothing else would indicate there is not enough voltage from battery or a starter motor issue.
> 
> Would need to check voltage from battery to confirm via a multi meter (auto electrican has a multi meter).
> 
> If battery is low, might have something draining the battery in the car somewhere, as you said the battery keeps draining overnight and doesn't start.
> 
> I had a boot light bulb that had to remove which would drain the battery. Common problem on my car.
> 
> It can be other things draining battery like alternator as one example, bulbs inside cabin, boot / trunk, hence why an auto electrician is the best person to look at it. They can do the test's on the bulb sockets, etc and trace the drain issue to it's source.
> 
> Sometimes find if turn off incabin light, located in the roof that lights up after opening door, the engine might start (might be enough in battery to start or crank engine).


I know nothing about cars.


----------



## andy1984

cold. got out of bed early for a saturday - 6. kitchen is a mess, dirty plate left on table. tried not to be angry and laughed to myself instead. looked a lot like the scene in chernobyl after evacuation - everything just abandoned in a mess. had breakfast with some of the feijoas from the tree. wearing all the clothing i can fit on my body lol. i wish i could find those cheap gloves i had, wearing my fingerless ones and looking like i'm homeless.


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> It's still making a clicking noise coming from the dash. Don't know what else you can do other than turning it on and trying to crank it.
> 
> So I just got a stranger to take me to work.


Yes, like Mondo_Fernando said, it could be a number of things. I'd consult with a mechanic on this one, but it does seem like something is draining the battery.

Things happen, don't stress too much over it!  A few days of inconvenience, then you'll be good to go again. :rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I know nothing about cars.


I think the fix is really easy according to guy in below video clip.

This guy did the test's on his 4runner with amp meter / multimeter to show the results and he found the drain issue.






Other 4 runner owners that have had battery drain overnight have traced the drain to the same fuse, etc, as shown on his wiring diagram, but couldn't figure out where the drain was coming from, as it connects to many things.

It looks like you need to recharge battery and check the issue that he mentioned.

Just have to remember to set it right when close the rear door.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> Yes, like Mondo_Fernando said, it could be a number of things. I'd consult with a mechanic on this one, but it does seem like something is draining the battery.
> 
> Things happen, don't stress too much over it!  A few days of inconvenience, then you'll be good to go again. :rub


Thanks.  I'm not sure if I want to take it back to OReilleys. I was told an old car is better cause you don't have to put it in the shop but I might have to put it in one. Only thing is that costs too and I'll be spending all my money on putting it in the shop, buying a new battery, and the insurance. That's why I'm hesitant about putting it in a shop.

I'll try not to. Just hope someone can fix it soon. :laugh:

I gotta pay insurance on it in like a couple days.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I think the fix is really easy according to guy in below video clip.
> 
> This guy did the test's on his 4runner with amp meter / multimeter to show the results and he found the drain issue.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Other 4 runner owners that have had battery drain overnight have traced the drain to the same fuse, etc, as shown on his wiring diagram, but couldn't figure out where the drain was coming from, as it connects to many things.
> 
> It looks like you need to recharge battery and check the issue that he mentioned.
> 
> Just have to remember to set it right when close the rear door.


So it could be as simple as a fuse? I hope so. Yea, I'll need to get someone else to do it still cause I know I'll mess it up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> So it could be as simple as a fuse? I hope so. Yea, I'll need to get someone else to do it still cause I know I'll mess it up.


Watch the video clip, as it is just as simple as putting key in the key lock on rear door and turning key until slot is straight and the draining of battery stops. If slot is slightly turned to one side with key, it starts to drain battery again.

Strangest thing I have ever seen on a car. :lol

But makes sense, as it might by turning lock activate the boot light which drains the battery.


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks.  I'm not sure if I want to take it back to OReilleys. I was told an old car is better cause you don't have to put it in the shop but I might have to put it in one. Only thing is that costs too and I'll be spending all my money on putting it in the shop, buying a new battery, and the insurance. That's why I'm hesitant about putting it in a shop.
> 
> I'll try not to. Just hope someone can fix it soon. :laugh:
> 
> I gotta pay insurance on it in like a couple days.


Yes, the shops can be pretty expensive. A simple oil change in Baton Rouge for me costed nearly $100, and they wanted to take $50 more for the wiper blade cleaning! If you can avoid going there and still have it fixed somehow, that would be nice. 

I also need to fix the bumper at some point: had a crash in a canyon near Tucson in January, and there is a visible crack up front which probably compromises safety some. But that usually requires replacing an entire bumper, which can easily be near $1,000... Need to fix my finances first and get rid of all the debts.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> Yes, the shops can be pretty expensive. A simple oil change in Baton Rouge for me costed nearly $100, and they wanted to take $50 more for the wiper blade cleaning! If you can avoid going there and still have it fixed somehow, that would be nice.
> 
> I also need to fix the bumper at some point: had a crash in a canyon near Tucson in January, and there is a visible crack up front which probably compromises safety some. But that usually requires replacing an entire bumper, which can easily be near $1,000... Need to fix my finances first and get rid of all the debts.


Holy mess. :O That sucks. Hope you get it fixed. Pretty much everything is either expensive or comes with some minor fee. I've learned that the hard way. :/ But don't like to think about it cause it just gets me down. Haha. Good luck again to you and your car.

Yea, I don't make much an hour. I'm having to save like 3/4 of my money and conserve and sacrifice some things but it'll be worth it in the end.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like a reject that no one wants.


----------



## AffinityWing




----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I feel like a reject that no one wants.


Same.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit better for a change.


Mondo_Fernando said:


> Same.


Stop that nonsense talk you two. :rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Stop that nonsense talk you two. :rub


Thank you mate for your kind words.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Thank you mate for your kind words.


No problem, you deserve it for being an awesome poster on here.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> No problem, you deserve it for being an awesome poster on here.


You are more of an awesome poster than me mate.


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Holy mess. :O That sucks. Hope you get it fixed. Pretty much everything is either expensive or comes with some minor fee. I've learned that the hard way. :/ But don't like to think about it cause it just gets me down. Haha. Good luck again to you and your car.
> 
> Yea, I don't make much an hour. I'm having to save like 3/4 of my money and conserve and sacrifice some things but it'll be worth it in the end.


I'm not super-rich myself.  And you are right, attitude is everything!

Saving money is not something I can dream about as of now... If I get rid of all of my debts in the next 2-3 years, it will already be a massive success! But it's all good: we all have our challenges, and they only make us stronger. 8)



Crisigv said:


> I feel like a reject that no one wants.


Eeeeh, don't be so hasty. I had an acquaintance whose buddy just lost a girlfriend, and was saying, "How am I going to find someone this awesome again?" The acquaintance responded, "Mate, there are over 3 billion women in the world. So far you only know the opinion of one of them, time to ask another few billions!"

Out of billions people, there is no way you can't find someone who wants you and who you want.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You are more of an awesome poster than me mate.


Heheh, if you say so.  :grin2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Heheh, if you say so.  :grin2:


I do.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Feel like ****, keep having fights with parents lol. Apparently I need to "change" my thinking/attitude, okay I'll change my thinking, time to ignore you both and not help around the house and just mind myself. Since I have to save up for a house myself, I have no time to do your chores anymore.  

You only gave birth because you wanted someone to look after you later, that was your plans, you don't even love us genuinely.

Okay, I'll change my attitude, you can have lifeless apathy instead of expressiveness then, yeh let's change things up.  

Just FML, I wish I had a normal modest family without any dysfunctional bs, I'm only like this because of my environment and upbringing. :blank


----------



## Crisigv

Sad. I'm always pissing people off.


----------



## CNikki

A (still) sick and emotional wreck.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> A (still) sick and emotional wreck.


Oh man, here is a big hug for you honey: :hug :squeeze


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Oh man, here is a big hug for you honey: :hug :squeeze


Thank you. :hug

Just wish that what ever this thing is that is keeping me sick would just take me down already. At least I'll have an excuse.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Thank you. :hug
> 
> Just wish that what ever this thing is that is keeping me sick would just take me down already. At least I'll have an excuse.


No problem, and I am sorry you feel that way.


----------



## Graeme1988

Good at the moment.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Shadowweaver lol It would be nice to have a lot of money. Someone at work told me that at one of the Hobby Lobby places, they make 15 dollars an hour. Might see if I can work there.

Sorry to hear about your debt. :/ Its nearly impossible to save on debt. Yea, that's true. Haha. I wish the best to you.


----------



## discopotato

kinda upset I guess, annoyed. 

a random drunk guy on the subway told me to "go back to Baghdad" wow. If you're going to be a douche, at least get my ethnicity right mate. This is not the first time I've been told to "go back home" in my home country. Maybe I should try to look more like my incredibly blonde and scandinavian looking father


----------



## blue2

PurplePeopleEater said:


> It's a used battery. Had a new alternator put in it, too.


.... Yeah if the alternator was bad for a while before you got the new one it can ruin a battery, generally used batteries are not great cause somebody took them out of another vehicle for a reason, if you think something's draining your battery overnight or while the cars stopped a simple short term fix is to remove one of the battery terminal leads or get a Deadman switch installed so you can isolate the battery while stopped.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

blue2 said:


> .... Yeah if the alternator was bad for a while before you got the new one it can ruin a battery, generally used batteries are not great cause somebody took them out of another vehicle for a reason, if you think something's draining your battery overnight or while the cars stopped a simple short term fix is to remove one of the battery terminal leads or get a Deadman switch installed so you can isolate the battery while stopped.


I was told the old alternator might not have even been bad but still glad I went ahead and got a new one anyways. Yea, can't fully believe everything everyone tells me cause they might not know themselves but I was told to use a used battery. All I have to do for the time being is just twist the wire off of the battery, which doesn't even take a whole minute and screw it back on when I want or need to go out. But I have to screw it off everytime I turn the vehicle off or the battery will die. That's why I'm unscrewing the wire from now on so I don't have to use jumper cables to charge it.

But yea. I'll have to get someone to help me with my car cause I won't be able to do pretty much 99 percent of it on my own. I'm kind of slow at some things.


----------



## Shadowweaver

I'm really silly when it comes to romantic matters, and today was a good illustration of it. :laugh: I was exercising outside on a patch of grass, and an absolutely gorgeous girl who was also exercising walked up to me and we started talking. Turns out she is a professional model, and she exercises every day for hours to prepare for her shooting sessions. Absolutely beautiful, smart and humorous. She obviously wanted to hang out some time, but I was so focused on exercising that it didn't even cross my mind to ask for her name... Ah well. 



PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Shadowweaver lol It would be nice to have a lot of money. Someone at work told me that at one of the Hobby Lobby places, they make 15 dollars an hour. Might see if I can work there.
> 
> Sorry to hear about your debt. :/ Its nearly impossible to save on debt. Yea, that's true. Haha. I wish the best to you.


One of my family's friends is a multi-millionaire. I've visited him for a couple of weeks once, and from what I figured from talking to him, the more money you have, the more you worry about losing it.  It may seem weird from our perspective, but, in the end, everyone has financial issues.
$15 an hour is not bad at all!

It's all good: I don't mind being in debt.  As long as the monthly payments are manageable and I still have something left afterwards, it's all good. But Dave Ramsey was right on this count: being in debt is quite a bit more stressful than having no debt, no matter what goods the loans and credits allowed you to buy.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Shadowweaver Yea, true. Off topic a bit but I'm not sure how true it is but I heard if you make like $70,000 it's the perfect amount to make without feeling depressed about it. It's either $70,000 or $75,000. Lol I don't remember. Got it from a random YouTube video. :b Still is better to be making some money than having none, though otherwise no one would want to work.

It's pretty decent money for sure. Well, it's always a good and smart thing when you can manage your money. Definitely something to be proud of. I manage my money but struggle sometimes. That's partly why I need a better paying job.

I've never actually heard that quote. Lol Thanks for the depressing quote. :b Just kidding.


----------



## Suchness

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Oh man, here is a big hug for you honey: :hug :squeeze


Can I get a hug?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Suchness said:


> Can I get a hug?


 sure thing dude lol :rub


----------



## Suchness

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> sure thing dude lol :rub


Thanks, that feels so good.


----------



## CNikki

As happy and blissful as I've ever been.

...


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Sad. I'm always pissing people off.


:hug



CNikki said:


> A (still) sick and emotional wreck.


:hug



discopotato said:


> kinda upset I guess, annoyed.
> 
> a random drunk guy on the subway told me to "go back to Baghdad" wow. If you're going to be a douche, at least get my ethnicity right mate. This is not the first time I've been told to "go back home" in my home country. Maybe I should try to look more like my incredibly blonde and scandinavian looking father


Could say something in Swedish back, something funny.

No foreigner knows Swedish straight away, so might surprise them. :b

An example is Charlize Theron, when a man hits on her and she turns it into a joke with a funny word.






Used to have a female friend, when men hit on her that would laugh it off in a similar non threatening way. Never had a guy angry at her.

Basically throw them a curve ball they are not expecting. Nothing embarrassing to them, just funny so they think of something else.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Like I'll never be happy.

I have two homes, and I miss one when I'm in the other. I don't stop longing. And it breaks my heart. I really hold too much sentiment.


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Shadowweaver Yea, true. Off topic a bit but I'm not sure how true it is but I heard if you make like $70,000 it's the perfect amount to make without feeling depressed about it. It's either $70,000 or $75,000. Lol I don't remember. Got it from a random YouTube video. :b Still is better to be making some money than having none, though otherwise no one would want to work.
> 
> It's pretty decent money for sure. Well, it's always a good and smart thing when you can manage your money. Definitely something to be proud of. I manage my money but struggle sometimes. That's partly why I need a better paying job.
> 
> I've never actually heard that quote. Lol Thanks for the depressing quote. :b Just kidding.


Perhaps, but I think it depends on the individual.  I personally have no idea what I would spend $70,000 a year on. Although, it's easy to say when you don't have this kind of income; when you do, I'm sure your standards rise up accordingly.

I'm absolutely terrible at managing my money. Whenever I have a surplus, I immediately come up with 100 things I need to buy! Plus my crazy road trips drain the wallet pretty fast. But then, there is no point having money if you don't spend it on anything, right?


----------



## discopotato

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :hug
> 
> :hug
> 
> Could say something in Swedish back, something funny.
> 
> No foreigner knows Swedish straight away, so might surprise them. :b
> 
> An example is Charlize Theron, when a man hits on her and she turns it into joke with a funny word.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Used to have a female friend, when men hit on her that would laugh it off in a similar non threatening way. Never had a guy angry at her.
> 
> Basically throw them a curve ball they are not expecting. Nothing embarrassing to them, just funny so they think of something else.


It caught me off guard so I couldn't think of anything clever to say, typical :b I'm going to have to channel my inner Charlize ^^


----------



## Fever Dream

Stressed, and tired. :fall


----------



## Fun Spirit

Fever Dream said:


> Stressed, and tired. :fall


:squeeze : )
_________

I feel drained, sloggish, so-so and distant. I had an anxiety attack this past Friday. My anxiety attacks are different from my panic. Saturday was better until late that evening almost 2 hours into Sunday. I just tried to do a home workout to get me going but I could only do about 7 minutes. I used my Sister's essential oil for anxiety and I also took my vitamin that is suppose to help with my anixety. {I haven't been taking it lately because I don't put enough food in my stomach for during breakfast.} I hope in the upcoming days this feeling will flee from me.


----------



## TheForestWasDark

Guilty, trading 1 addiction for the other. I will probably gain 3 lbs this week.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> It caught me off guard so I couldn't think of anything clever to say, typical :b I'm going to have to channel my inner Charlize ^^


Would be funny, as I think you can come up with some awesome, funny stuff to say. :b



Fever Dream said:


> Stressed, and tired. :fall


Sorry to hear.



Fun Spirit said:


> :squeeze : )
> _________
> 
> I feel drained, sloggish, so-so and distant. I had an anxiety attack this past Friday. My anxiety attacks are different from my panic. Saturday was better until late that evening almost 2 hours into Sunday. I just tried to do a home workout to get me going but I could only do about 7 minutes. I used my Sister's essential oil for anxiety and I also took my vitamin that is suppose to help with my anixety. {I haven't been taking it lately because I don't put enough food in my stomach for during breakfast.} I hope in the upcoming days this feeling will flee from me.


:hug

Like the avatar. :yes



TheForestWasDark said:


> Guilty, trading 1 addiction for the other. I will probably gain 3 lbs this week.


Can gain up to 6kg from just drinking fluids and lose it just as quickly once go to loo (or toilet for Americans as name most things differently).


----------



## Fun Spirit

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :hug
> 
> Like the avatar. :yes


:Squeeze

Oh Yeah Thanks 
I'm so use to posting that I almost forgot about my face Plus Tapatalk avatar appear small compare to the larger image on the internet browser. Some of you get to see a larger scale of me :teeth ICK:teeth I took a risk


----------



## BeautyandRage

****ty. Wondering what I did wrong. Nothing. I did nothing wrong. But now I’ll sit here alone questioning it. But I’m not taking somebody’s frustration when I did nothing wrong that I know of. I was really hurting that day and I ended things because I didn’t do anything wrong and I already was dealing with so much that day. Surprise surprise. Things happen you don’t always know about. So maybe be understanding and listen instead of jump on me like I’ve done something wrong. But whatever, guess we will talk in another half a year. Or maybe not. :sigh


----------



## 3stacks

@Mondo_Fernando Loo or bog


----------



## 1Sherry

How does a person begin trusting again..........life sucks then you die I have heard all my life and now at my age of life, there is nothing left to give anyone anymore......like all of us we each could write a book!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Fun Spirit said:


> :Squeeze
> 
> Oh Yeah Thanks
> I'm so use to posting that I almost forgot about my face Plus Tapatalk avatar appear small compare to the larger image on the internet browser. Some of you get to see a larger scale of me :teeth ICK:teeth I took a risk


Not that big, just the right size.

Got that highly intelligent, sweet, kind look about you.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Miserable. Hopeless. TRAPPED. I don't know how much longer I can stand this.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

BeautyandRage said:


> ****ty. Wondering what I did wrong. Nothing. I did nothing wrong. But now I'll sit here alone questioning it. But I'm not taking somebody's frustration when I did nothing wrong that I know of. I was really hurting that day and I ended things because I didn't do anything wrong and I already was dealing with so much that day. Surprise surprise. Things happen you don't always know about. So maybe be understanding and listen instead of jump on me like I've done something wrong. But whatever, guess we will talk in another half a year. Or maybe not. :sigh


:hug

It happens, people have a bad day, stressed out and vent. They usually come right the next time you see them.



3stacks said:


> @Mondo_Fernando Loo or bog


Bog would be like in a field.

Sometimes call it a long drop. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> Miserable. Hopeless. TRAPPED. I don't know how much longer I can stand this.


:hug

Usually when feel that way, mind is saying to make a change. Just don't know how to sometimes, which need to reasearch, find a way. Sometimes takes reaching out to the right people. Noone can do everything themselves, nor know everything.

Don't let it beat you. Rile yourself up (motivate yourself) and deal with the problems. Won't be a peace until you do. Easier said than done though sometimes.

Stay strong.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Not that big, just the right size.
> 
> Got that highly intelligent, sweet, kind look about you.


: )

Good thing you didn't read my Prefect Crime Post.


----------



## harrison

Fun Spirit said:


> : )
> 
> *Good thing you didn't read my Prefect Crime Post*.


I did.  Very imaginative. (And I like the avatar photo too.)


----------



## Fun Spirit

harrison said:


> I did.  Very imaginative. (And I like the avatar photo too.)


Now I am embarrassed 
LMAO:rofl Yeah it was

Thank You Harrison


----------



## harrison

Fun Spirit said:


> Now I am embarrassed
> LMAO:rofl Yeah it was
> 
> Thank You Harrison


No need to be embarassed - we all have to have some fun. 

(and it was much better than I could think up)


----------



## harrison

I have a headache and I wish I could just stay home. Hopefully it'll start raining properly and the tradesman my wife has coming today will call and say he can't work when it's raining. :roll


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Fun Spirit said:


> : )
> 
> Good thing you didn't read my Prefect Crime Post.


Mine is really bad. :b

Will have a read, get back to you.



harrison said:


> I have a headache and I wish I could just stay home. Hopefully it'll start raining properly and the tradesman my wife has coming today will call and say he can't work when it's raining. :roll


They work in rain too. Tradies are tough and have deadlines to meet.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> They work in rain too. Tradies are tough and have deadlines to meet.


Well she's having part of her rear deck replaced mate - and the carpenter has actually put it off a couple of days last week because it was too wet to do it. She just wants me up there to make sure the dog won't get out. (can you believe it?)

God I get sick of it - I'd like to do other things or just have a rest at home. It drives me a bit nuts sometimes.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Fun Spirit

I read it.

The good book part. :lol






Reminds me of this Preacher with the hand healing.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Well she's having part of her rear deck replaced mate - and the carpenter has actually put it off a couple of days last week because it was too wet to do it. She just wants me up there to make sure the dog won't get out. (can you believe it?)
> 
> God I get sick of it - I'd like to do other things or just have a rest at home. It drives me a bit nuts sometimes.


Usually tradies fab a cover over the area with plastic, wood and work under that.

Maybe take the dog with you?

Sounds like she wants someone to supervise the carpenter.


----------



## Fever Dream

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sorry to hear.





Fun Spirit said:


> :squeeze : )
> _________
> 
> I feel drained, sloggish, so-so and distant. I had an anxiety attack this past Friday. My anxiety attacks are different from my panic. Saturday was better until late that evening almost 2 hours into Sunday. I just tried to do a home workout to get me going but I could only do about 7 minutes. I used my Sister's essential oil for anxiety and I also took my vitamin that is suppose to help with my anixety. {I haven't been taking it lately because I don't put enough food in my stomach for during breakfast.} I hope in the upcoming days this feeling will flee from me.


Thanks.

@Fun Spirit :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Fever Dream

You're welcome.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> *Usually tradies fab a cover over the area with plastic, wood and work under that.*
> 
> Maybe take the dog with you?
> 
> Sounds like she wants someone to supervise the carpenter.


Was probably something to do with the concreting - he had to fix some of the fences and gates too.

She's just just worried about the dog - she always is, it's incredible. I can't bring him back here, too much hassle. I'll work it out - it's just tiring, lot of travel involved. I'd rather just have a rest today. Better get moving mate - have a good day.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Was probably something to do with the concreting - he had to fix some of the fences and gates too.
> 
> She's just just worried about the dog - she always is, it's incredible. I can't bring him back here, too much hassle. I'll work it out - it's just tiring, lot of travel involved. I'd rather just have a rest today. Better get moving mate - have a good day.


Oh, ok.

You have a good day too mate.


----------



## funnynihilist

Kinda crappy after drinking instant coffee


----------



## funnynihilist

Took my evening constitutional and ended up having a coughing fit because the air is so thick with pollen.
The universe is happiest when I'm sitting inside on the couch.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm annoyed. The DMV is closed tomorrow. :sigh


----------



## Fun Spirit

@Fever Dream 



harrison said:


> No need to be embarassed - we all have to have some fun.
> 
> (and it was much better than I could think up)




Aw I'm sure your story would been good: )



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Fun Spirit
> 
> I read it.
> 
> The good book part.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Reminds me of this Preacher with the hand healing.


Yeah

That video was funny


----------



## CNikki

Numb. Not really sure what's coming next and trying not to assume the worst.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Fun Spirit said:


> Yeah
> 
> That video was funny


He was known for the National Lampoon's Vacation movies in the 80's and these scenes which the number plate, look on his face makes me laugh.






Still like watching his movies.






Patti was known for her soundtrack in Beverly Hills Cop movie in the 80's.






Eddie Murphy was one of the best actors of the 80's and his laugh, smile. :lol

Miss the saxaphone, synth sounds of the 80's.

Makes me feel sad, as Patti reminds me of Aretha and her singing, R.I.P.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm annoyed. The DMV is closed tomorrow. :sigh


:sigh



CNikki said:


> Numb. Not really sure what's coming next and trying not to assume the worst.


I'm hoping something great is what is coming next for you.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Mondo_Fernando said:


> He was known for the National Lampoon's Vacation movies in the 80's and these scenes which the number plate, look on his face makes me laugh.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Still like watching his movies.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Patti was known for her soundtrack in Beverly Hills Cop movie in the 80's.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Eddie Murphy was one of the best actors of the 80's and his laugh, smile.
> 
> Miss the saxaphone, synth sounds of the 80's.
> 
> Makes me feel sad, as Patti reminds me of Aretha and her singing, R.I.P.


Cool. I never heard of that movie before. It look funny

I feel like I stepped into a time machine with these movies. The music, films, singers and actors were so different back then compare to today. It is as if that time era was it's own World.

Yeah Eddie is pretty funny. I couldn't help but think about Coming to America.

Aw;( :squeeze


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I need more stuff to distract me.

OK that's not a feeling but whatever.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando Yea, it sucks. And I have to pay a decent fee to get it renewed. :sigh It's just one thing after another.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando Yea, it sucks. And I have to pay a decent fee to get it renewed. :sigh It's just one thing after another.


Never have hands out of pocket with cars.

Cars are more a luxury.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Never have hands out of pocket with cars.
> 
> Cars are more a luxury.


Yea, I think I'll just drive it off a cliff. :/


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Fun Spirit said:


> Cool. I never heard of that movie before. It look funny
> 
> I feel like I stepped into a time machine with these movies. The music, films, singers and actors were so different back then compare to today. It is as if that time era was it's own World.
> 
> Yeah Eddie is pretty funny. I couldn't help but think about Coming to America.
> 
> Aw;( :squeeze


Quite funny movies that made many laugh. They are shown nearly every Christmas (Christmas Vacation movie).

This is synth keyboards from the 80's.






Some of them are still acting in films these days, just older.

Arsenio Hall was perfect alongside Eddie in Coming to America.






Eddie Murphy made his own music too and seems to just get better at singing over the years. Singing With Snoop. :yes

Thank you for the hug. :hug

When listen to Aretha sing in 1980 and 1998, she is still telling off her on screen hubby in 1998 and he still got nuthin to say while she sings. :lol






Aretha takes no crap from nobody and lets it be known. Strong woman.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Yea, I think I'll just drive it off a cliff. :/


Or just don't drive it much as km traveled brings it closer to when have to service engine, brakes, etc. Also spend more on fuel.

For most it is a love (when running right) or hate (when not running right, spending a lot on it) relationship.


----------



## roxslide

Gdi this site is broken. I've tried to make this post 3 times now.

Blah blah blah I've been feeling like **** lately So I'm going to attempt to take a break and try to clean up my life etc.

I've also been really angry lately. At everything/everyone. I don't like that and that's not who I want to be


----------



## WillYouStopDave

How am I feeling? My back isn't hurting. At this point, that's a win.


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Yea, I think I'll just drive it off a cliff. :/


Noooo, don't repeat after me! It's a bad idea. :spank

Seriously though, car problems are always frustrating, but in the end you are always happy that you have a ride. Just give it time.


----------



## TheForestWasDark

eye balls are dry and itchy af as is my bush for hair.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Shadowweaver lol That emoji made me laugh.

But yea. I'm just a bit more frustrated cause my ID expired and I need that for everything. I have to have a copy of a bill, which I need to ask the old man I live with about but I have everything else. I'm just going to save pretty much all my money for the next two weeks and only use it when necessary. Definitely not asking his gf, though. I know she wouldn't help me but he might get mad if I ask, too. Idk. I'll just have to wing it.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Totally misunderstood, and alone, and that's all I'm ever going to be.


----------



## Graeme1988

Slightly regretting joining SoundCloud.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Quite funny movies that made many laugh. They are shown nearly every Christmas (Christmas Vacation movie).
> 
> This is synth keyboards from the 80's.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Some of them are still acting in films these days, just older.
> 
> Arsenio Hall was perfect alongside Eddie in Coming to America.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Eddie Murphy made his own music too and seems to just get better at singing over the years. Singing With Snoop. :yes
> 
> Thank you for the hug. :hug
> 
> When listen to Aretha sing in 1980 and 1998, she is still telling off her on screen hubby in 1998 and he still got nuthin to say while she sings.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Aretha takes no crap from nobody and lets it be known. Strong woman.


Wow the synth keyboards sounded great. It could be played on an old arcade game as a background music.

They are? Cool. Least they still have a job. LOL.

It is 2019 and I found out that Eddie can sing. He is talented. And it show a different side of him I never seen before. Thanks for sharing. It was a nice song.

Ha Ha Aretha told him off sweetly


----------



## harrison

I'm feeling pretty good actually. I did a search yesterday for a very rare book I have just to see what other people have out there and a major dealer in London has a new set of them. Always very exciting to see - I think I'll go to the library and print out their photos in colour. Man, the internet makes all this so much better.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Fun Spirit said:


> Wow the synth keyboards sounded great. It could be played on an old arcade game as a background music.
> 
> They are? Cool. Least they still have a job. LOL.
> 
> It is 2019 and I found out that Eddie can sing. He is talented. And it show a different side of him I never seen before. Thanks for sharing. It was a nice song.
> 
> Ha Ha Aretha told him off sweetly


From what I understand, that soundtrack was from Miami Vice TV show in the 80's. The modern remake doesn't seem as good as the original.

Still acting until today. Even the Karate Kid movie cast from way back is still acting in Cobra Kai.






You're welcome. Eddie's music was interesting back in the days with synth sounds.

In the 90's. :yes Aretha's singing in the Blues Brothers movie in 1980 is a lot harsher. It is like wow, is that the same woman?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison

Good to hear that you feel good.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Totally misunderstood, and alone, and that's all I'm ever going to be.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## PandaBearx

Like someone ripped out my heart, I feel empty....and at loss of what to say. Disappointed. Worried. Sad.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Insecure


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Shadowweaver lol That emoji made me laugh.
> 
> But yea. I'm just a bit more frustrated cause my ID expired and I need that for everything. I have to have a copy of a bill, which I need to ask the old man I live with about but I have everything else. I'm just going to save pretty much all my money for the next two weeks and only use it when necessary. Definitely not asking his gf, though. I know she wouldn't help me but he might get mad if I ask, too. Idk. I'll just have to wing it.


An expired ID can be frustrating indeed. Hope you get it fixed soon! DMV can be a pain to deal with sometimes. In our state they have improved significantly every since their work was mostly privatised, but I've heard horror stories from other states... :x



SamanthaStrange said:


> Totally misunderstood, and alone, and that's all I'm ever going to be.


Can't predict the future! Don't be so pessimistic.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thank you.



Shadowweaver said:


> Can't predict the future! Don't be so pessimistic.


The title of the thread is "how are you FEELING right now" and that's how I was feeling, so I don't appreciate this dismissive reply. If you have a problem with pessimists, you should probably put me on ignore right now.


----------



## BeautyandRage

I feel trapped.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Shadowweaver Yea, it's kinda been frustrating me ever since I found out it expired. Oh gosh. Lol What kind of horror stories? I'm going to use my W2 form as my proof of address. I have a notice for my tax return with my address on it, too. Taking both just in case and I have my birth certificate and social security card.

I can handle it if it's 2-3 hours. :b I've dealt with food stamps before and went to the food stamp place a few times. That was 4 years ago so been awhile. But yea. I think I have to take a vision test. I know I don't have to take the driver's test thank goodness. It literally expired 2 months and 2 days ago.


----------



## Shadowweaver

SamanthaStrange said:


> The title of the thread is "how are you FEELING right now" and that's how I was feeling, so I don't appreciate this dismissive reply. If you have a problem with pessimists, you should probably put me on ignore right now.


I wasn't dismissive, I was supportive. 



PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Shadowweaver Yea, it's kinda been frustrating me ever since I found out it expired. Oh gosh. Lol What kind of horror stories? I'm going to use my W2 form as my proof of address. I have a notice for my tax return with my address on it, too. Taking both just in case and I have my birth certificate and social security card.
> 
> I can handle it if it's 2-3 hours. :b I've dealt with food stamps before and went to the food stamp place a few times. That was 4 years ago so been awhile. But yea. I think I have to take a vision test. I know I don't have to take the driver's test thank goodness. It literally expired 2 months and 2 days ago.


There was this website that collected the DMV horror stories. Things I have read there... From people driving with expired licenses for 10+ years and then owing DMV a fortune because the rules suddenly changed and they weren't notified, to having their homes broken into by the law enforcement for not showing in the courtroom due to drunk driving because the DMV confused two individuals. 

In my state the DMV is very decent, although they really like introducing very obscure driving rules silently that catch people off-guard! There was also a bit of a mess a few years back when they suddenly started requiring a license to ride scooters. A lot of people rode scooters without any licenses, and suddenly dozens thousands people became illegal riders, with authorities being waaaaaay late with the notice.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @harrison
> 
> Good to hear that you feel good.


Thanks mate - hope you're doing okay too.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - hope you're doing okay too.


You're welcome.

Just tired, lots to do. Apart from that I'm ok, touch wood that it stays that way.


----------



## Ekardy

Feel like I was just confirmed I’m not worth it.

No one wants me around, no one cares if I’m gone. Wish I could say I feel numb but I feel everything and I just want it to stop.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ekardy said:


> Feel like I was just confirmed I'm not worth it.
> 
> No one wants me around, no one cares if I'm gone. Wish I could say I feel numb but I feel everything and I just want it to stop.


I can relate to this. Sorry you're feeling so bad.


----------



## C137

Extremely Sad and abandoned and alone. My GF TL has made our relationship intolerable. And I'm highly upset and frustrated.


----------



## The Library of Emma

An observation: nobody really gives a **** about you or what you are feeling or experiencing. Likewise, you probably shouldn’t care much about yourself. They just want things done, and you just need to get things done.


----------



## funnynihilist

Girl Without a Shadow said:


> An observation: nobody really gives a **** about you or what you are feeling or experiencing. Likewise, you probably shouldn't care much about yourself. They just want things done, and you just need to get things done.


Like a robot?


----------



## Citrine79

I am a mix of anxious and frustrated right now. Several things are bothering me at the moment!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Feel like I was just confirmed I'm not worth it.
> 
> No one wants me around, no one cares if I'm gone. Wish I could say I feel numb but I feel everything and I just want it to stop.


:hug

You are worth it.

Made me cry when you got sick. So yeah, there are people that worry about you.

Stay strong. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Ekardy

This man below has good life lessons, especially when can't be humble, kind all the time, as you will get stepped over.






Also very funny. :lol

E LE GALO OE (Rest in Love)

You will be missed mate. :crying:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Feel like I was just confirmed I'm not worth it.
> 
> No one wants me around, no one cares if I'm gone. Wish I could say I feel numb but I feel everything and I just want it to stop.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## harrison

I hate it when you wake up with a blinding headache - what the hell even does that?


----------



## blue2

harrison said:


> I hate it when you wake up with a blinding headache - what the hell even does that?


... Bottle of rum will do it &#128521;


----------



## harrison

blue2 said:


> ... Bottle of rum will do it &#128521;


Yes but I don't even drink. 

My head does these things on it's own unfortunately. I had a night of crazy dreams so maybe that was it. Really horrible.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I hate it when you wake up with a blinding headache - what the hell even does that?


Pillow or bed. Buckẃheat pillow helps.


----------



## blue2

harrison said:


> Yes but I don't even drink.
> 
> My head does these things on it's own unfortunately. I had a night of crazy dreams so maybe that was it. Really horrible.


......Yeah I figured that, maybe you're just a bit dehydrated or the room is too hot ?


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Pillow or bed. Buckẃheat pillow helps.





blue2 said:


> ......Yeah I figured that, maybe you're just a bit dehydrated or the room is too hot ?


I think the pillows are okay actually - but maybe I am a bit dehyrated. I never drink enough water - my son always tells me that too. (and my wife)

I think it's just the quality of sleep quite often - my old psychiatrist used to often ask me how I was sleeping. He said it affects our mental health a great deal. Yesterday I woke up feeling really good - which was nice, so I don't know.

Thanks a lot for the suggestions.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I think the pillows are okay actually - but maybe I am a bit dehyrated. I never drink enough water - my son always tells me that too. (and my wife)
> 
> I think it's just the quality of sleep quite often - my old psychiatrist used to often ask me how I was sleeping. He said it affects our mental health a great deal. Yesterday I woke up feeling really good - which was nice, so I don't know.
> 
> Thanks a lot for the suggestions.


Oh, ok.

You're welcome.


----------



## firestar

harrison said:


> I hate it when you wake up with a blinding headache - what the hell even does that?


This has happened to me when the pressure drops overnight. There have been nights when it started raining after I went to bed and I only realized it when I woke up in the middle of the night with a splitting headache.


----------



## harrison

firestar said:


> This has happened to me when the pressure drops overnight. There have been nights when it started raining after I went to bed and I only realized it when I woke up in the middle of the night with a splitting headache.


Jee, that's incredible. I never knew about this stuff! I don't think it rained last night though. It happened to me 2 days ago as well, on Monday morning. I think I was dreaming a lot that night too.

It's a pretty horrible way to start the day, that's for sure. Sometimes I think it has to do with my medication as well - I do tend to change the dosage sometimes.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

firestar said:


> This has happened to me when the pressure drops overnight. There have been nights when it started raining after I went to bed and I only realized it when I woke up in the middle of the night with a splitting headache.


 That's interesting. I thought of that a few times but never actually checked to see what kinds of changes there were.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I have a dust mask that fits pretty tight on my nose and I notice I seem to get a headache every time I wear the thing for more than an hour. I think it might cause some kind of circulation issue in my sinuses. If you sleep in a way that puts pressure on a given point in your head or face, possibly that could cause it?


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Oh, ok.
> 
> You're welcome.


I was meaning to tell you mate - you should see the quality of work this guy is doing on my wife's back porch. It's beautiful. Very nice timber - it has a lovely colour, I think it's merbau or something. Nice guy too - he's Italian.  We were having a nice chat.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I was meaning to tell you mate - you should see the quality of work this guy is doing on my wife's back porch. It's beautiful. Very nice timber - it has a lovely colour, I think it's merbau or something. Nice guy too - he's Italian.  We were having a nice chat.


Gives it that stained type of look.

Merbau wood from the islands. That wood gives a old look, but high quality and is rot and termite resistant. Also not cheap as is rare wood.

I'm used to using Kauri and Rimu.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Gives it that stained type of look.
> 
> Merbau wood from the islands. That wood gives a old look, but high quality* and is rot and termite resistant*. Also not cheap as is rare wood.
> 
> I'm used to using Kauri and Rimu.


Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, it looks nice. We might get the whole deck done with it later - he just had to replace one part of it and make a step. I should post a picture for you.

Her house it sort of older looking I guess - typical for that area. A lot of timber inside with very high pitched ceilings.


----------



## harrison

WillYouStopDave said:


> I have a dust mask that fits pretty tight on my nose and I notice I seem to get a headache every time I wear the thing for more than an hour. I think it might cause some kind of circulation issue in my sinuses. If you sleep in a way that puts pressure on a given point in your head or face, possibly that could cause it?


Tbh I've always thought it's just me - I feel so differently from day to day it's weird, but I'm sort of getting used to it. I just sort of accept now that I wake up and see how I feel. If I don't have to do anything that day and can just stay home I do. (if I don't feel too good) But my wife often has other plans for my day - like checking on the dog and giving him his lunch. 

Very nice of her really. :roll God she's cheeky. (she's put up with a lot though so I can't complain)


----------



## WillYouStopDave

harrison said:


> Tbh I've always thought it's just me - I feel so differently from day to day it's weird, but I'm sort of getting used to it. I just sort of accept now that I wake up and see how I feel. If I don't have to do anything that day and can just stay home I do. (if I don't feel too good) But my wife often has other plans for my day - like checking on the dog and giving him his lunch.
> 
> Very nice of her really. :roll God she's cheeky. (she's put up with a lot though so I can't complain)


 I frequently wake up with mild to bad headaches and always have. Sometimes I wake up with just a dull background headache and it goes away within about 1-2 hours. Often though, the pain will gradually ramp up for hours until it's my entire existence.

Then there are times when I wake up feeling fine but start getting a headache about an hour later.

In any case, a headache is often the outcome of my waking up. :lol


----------



## harrison

WillYouStopDave said:


> I frequently wake up with mild to bad headaches and always have. Sometimes I wake up with just a dull background headache and it goes away within about 1-2 hours. Often though, the pain will gradually ramp up for hours until it's my entire existence.
> 
> Then there are times when I wake up feeling fine but start getting a headache about an hour later.
> 
> In any case, a headache is often the outcome of my waking up. :lol


Jesus - that's horrible.

Mine's getting a bit better now. I have a whole arsenal of pills ready in my kitchen just waiting so I'm usually okay.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, it looks nice. We might get the whole deck done with it later - he just had to replace one part of it and make a step. I should post a picture for you.
> 
> Her house it sort of older looking I guess - typical for that area. A lot of timber inside with very high pitched ceilings.


Merbau is known to have a higher resistance to rot, termites due to most likely being in coastal environment (islands) where it grows.

Probably a 1880-1920's house if has high internal ceilings (Colonial / settlers house).


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Merbau is known to have a higher resistance to rot, termites due to most likely being in coastal environment (islands) where it grows.
> 
> Probably a 1880-1920's house if has high internal ceilings (Colonial / settlers house).


Yeah - I love the houses in her area. I love the whole area actually. It used to have a lot of artists living there years ago - but there's no way they could afford to live there now. ( I get culture shock when I get on the number 59 tram back to my place.)

Even the dogs are good-looking in her area - lots of Border Collies and Golden Retrievers. (plus the odd Poodle of course)


----------



## funnynihilist

WillYouStopDave said:


> I frequently wake up with mild to bad headaches and always have. Sometimes I wake up with just a dull background headache and it goes away within about 1-2 hours. Often though, the pain will gradually ramp up for hours until it's my entire existence.
> 
> Then there are times when I wake up feeling fine but start getting a headache about an hour later.
> 
> In any case, a headache is often the outcome of my waking up.


This is me today. Woke up with a mild one and thought "meh it will go away" but it didn't and has been slowly getting worse. Especially after I did some driving in the traffic and sunlight.
Luckily Ibuprofen still works somewhat.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yeah - I love the houses in her area. I love the whole area actually. It used to have a lot of artists living there years ago - but there's no way they could afford to live there now. ( I get culture shock when I get on the number 59 tram back to my place.)
> 
> Even the dogs are good-looking in her area - lots of Border Collies and Golden Retrievers. (plus the odd Poodle of course)


Sounds like they have those white picket fences, bush, etc. Like an old English village.

I'm picturing in my mind.










I'm picturing this when you mention Poodles.










 :b


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sounds like they have those white picket fences, bush, etc. Like an old English village.
> 
> I'm picturing in my mind.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm picturing this when you mention Poodles.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :b


No it's different to that mate - a very leafy, hilly area in the north-east of Melbourne.  Nice place though - I'm glad my son could grow up there, it's a nice place for families.

Haha - there's a lady that walks past our place often that has a poodle a lot like that. It looks incredible - looks like it spends more time at the hairdresser than most people do.


----------



## Shadowweaver

harrison said:


> I think the pillows are okay actually - but maybe I am a bit dehyrated. I never drink enough water - my son always tells me that too. (and my wife)
> 
> I think it's just the quality of sleep quite often - my old psychiatrist used to often ask me how I was sleeping. He said it affects our mental health a great deal. Yesterday I woke up feeling really good - which was nice, so I don't know.
> 
> Thanks a lot for the suggestions.


I noticed that for me, what I think about immediately before going to sleep affects strongly how I sleep. If I think about something pleasant, or even think about nothing in particular and just try to relax, then I usually have a very good night sleep. On the other hand, if I worry about some deadline I have to meet this week and keep thinking about it, then the brain enters the state of high alert and, I suspect, remains in this state throughout the sleep, leading to annoying dreams and a hard wake-up.

Can't say I wake up with headaches often, however. That usually only happens if during sleep my head randomly puts itself into an awkward position. Like today I woke up feeling a bit strangled, because my neck rested exactly on a pretty harsh pillow edge and was squeezed in - in my dream it was some guy strangling me. :laugh:


----------



## harrison

Shadowweaver said:


> I noticed that for me, what I think about immediately before going to sleep affects strongly how I sleep. If I think about something pleasant, or even think about nothing in particular and just try to relax, then I usually have a very good night sleep. On the other hand, if I worry about some deadline I have to meet this week and keep thinking about it, then the brain enters the state of high alert and, I suspect, remains in this state throughout the sleep, leading to annoying dreams and a hard wake-up.
> 
> Can't say I wake up with headaches often, however. That usually only happens if during sleep my head randomly puts itself into an awkward position. Like today I woke up feeling a bit strangled, because my neck rested exactly on a pretty harsh pillow edge and was squeezed in - *in my dream it was some guy strangling me.* :laugh:


Yeah, I've been dreaming some pretty weird stuff lately too - I think it's better for everyone that I don't go into that though. :um


----------



## CNikki

harrison said:


> Yeah, I've been dreaming some pretty weird stuff lately too - I think it's better for everyone that I don't go into that though. :um


Same. I rarely dream nowadays, and when I do I would either forget or remember the weirdest of things.


----------



## harrison

CNikki said:


> Same. I rarely dream nowadays, and when I do I would either forget or remember the weirdest of things.


Have you ever been on Lexapro? That stuff gave me the weirdest dreams ever! Really crazy.

I think I dream a lot actually but I just usually can't remember them. I've been able to remember some lately and they were pretty out there.


----------



## CNikki

harrison said:


> Have you ever been on Lexapro? That stuff gave me the weirdest dreams ever! Really crazy.
> 
> I think I dream a lot actually but I just usually can't remember them. I've been able to remember some lately and they were pretty out there.


No - I think, if anything, not to have taken certain medicines had made me dream the things I had.

Either I don't go far enough into REM to have many dreams (which could explain why I'm constantly tired...never got this checked out) or maybe I don't remember them at all.

Even if I do dream of anything good I would be upset once awake anyway.


----------



## harrison

CNikki said:


> No - I think, if anything, *not to have taken certain medicines had made me dream the things I had. *
> 
> Either I don't go far enough into REM to have many dreams (which could explain why I'm constantly tired...never got this checked out) or maybe I don't remember them at all.
> 
> Even if I do dream of anything good I would be upset once awake anyway.


I can't remember, sorry - but do you take meds normally?

This stuff I take is **** - it does't stop the mania properly. I'm getting so high now I literally will have to stop looking at this computer in a sec and just try and calm myself down through my breathing or something. It's really annoying to say the least.


----------



## TheForestWasDark

i'm listening to the same song over and over like 6x. Think i'm going a little crazy


----------



## CNikki

harrison said:


> I can't remember, sorry - but do you take meds normally?
> 
> This stuff I take is **** - it does't stop the mania properly. I'm getting so high now I literally will have to stop looking at this computer in a sec and just try and calm myself down through my breathing or something. It's really annoying to say the least.


Long story, but somewhat yes. I try to be minimal because of the way I've had reactions when combining certain things in the past (prescribed) and I really don't want to have the adverse effects again.

I can relate in terms of irritability, only it seems to be due to depressive states I find myself in. So long as I'm not anxious in the process, it's just about manageable. Some days/nights it's harder than others.

Hope you find the right medicine(s) soon enough.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Shadowweaver Oh, wow. Yea, the longer you wait the more you have to pay, which isn't right. :/ And that other story is crazy.

They're strict about everything these days. It sucks but yea. :/

Oh god oh god. I'm so embarrassed cause I left a dirty pad on my underclothing and forgot to take it out. I was rushing to do something so put it in the dirty clothes. Then the woman that stays over here sometimes was doing her laundry and she told me about it. Surprisingly, she didn't get mad. Thought I was going to get scolded for it. So I just said I'm sorry, that was a bad mistake on my part. Someone shoot me. -___-

But really. That was cringy as hell. Trying to get over it. Thankfully, the blood wasn't much since my period is pretty much over now. But still embarrassed. What makes it even worse is I was sitting at the table eating and had to be disturbed by that. FML.


----------



## harrison

CNikki said:


> Long story, but somewhat yes. I try to be minimal because of the way I've had reactions when combining certain things in the past (prescribed) and I really don't want to have the adverse effects again.
> 
> *I can relate in terms of irritability*, only it seems to be due to depressive states I find myself in. So long as I'm not anxious in the process, it's just about manageable. Some days/nights it's harder than others.
> 
> *Hope you find the right medicine(s) soon enough*.


Thanks - I don't really like meds tbh and I wish I could just stop taking it at all. I'm seeing a new pschiatrist in a few weeks and I hope he doesn't put me on anything strange. I think I'd rather just try and deal with how I am myself.

I wasn't really irritable this morning, although I do get that too. Today it was just like a sense of over-excitement if that makes sense. It's like everything starts going too fast inside my head and a kind of pressure builds up. It's really weird and a hard feeling to describe properly - but I always think it's like overstimulation - to music, to people and interaction with them, things like that.

I had a bit of a lie down and it's a bit better now.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> No it's different to that mate - a very leafy, hilly area in the north-east of Melbourne.  Nice place though - I'm glad my son could grow up there, it's a nice place for families.
> 
> Haha - there's a lady that walks past our place often that has a poodle a lot like that. It looks incredible - looks like it spends more time at the hairdresser than most people do.


I think that was Tasmania in photo. Sounds like a nice place in Melbourne.

One wonders how they came up with the haircut design. :O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

It happens.

I was initially thinking of an dirty iPad, then thought oh, that type of pad. :b :lol

Yeah, me and my bad jokes (all one can do is laugh away the embarrassment). :b


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I think that was Tasmania in photo. Sounds like a nice place in Melbourne.
> 
> *One wonders how they came up with the haircut design.* :O


Haha - yeah, it's pretty strange mate. Pretty crazy haircut for a dog. 

Sometimes I go to this auction-house down in Malvern/South Yarra and there's a dog-grooming place near there. It's a very posh area. You see these little fluffy dogs just standing there in the window while some lady dries their hair with a hairdryer. I think some people just have too much money.


----------



## Suchness

TheForestWasDark said:


> i'm listening to the same song over and over like 6x. Think i'm going a little crazy


I do that all the time, if I find a song I really like I listen to it until I get sick of it then I need a huge break before going back to it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Haha - yeah, it's pretty strange mate. Pretty crazy haircut for a dog.
> 
> Sometimes I go to this auction-house down in Malvern/South Yarra and there's a dog-grooming place near there. It's a very posh area. You see these little fluffy dogs just standing there in the window while some lady dries their hair with a hairdryer. I think some people just have too much money.


Reminds me of the rich lady in 101 Dalmations movie.






Most earn a lot in Australia, so a good standard of living. Milk, etc is so much cheaper too in Australia. Looking at the prices here, sheeesh.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

My stomach is doing somersaults.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> My stomach is doing somersaults.


:hug

If stomach only, hottie bottle or eat ginger nut biscuits or hard food (helps to settle stomach).

Stay strong through this. :hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :hug
> 
> If stomach only, hottie bottle or eat ginger nut biscuits or hard food (helps to settle stomach).
> 
> Stay strong through this. :hug


Thanks. I am drinking ginger tea.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lost in spirit, lost in life


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> It happens.
> 
> I was initially thinking of an dirty iPad, then thought oh, that type of pad. :b :lol
> 
> Yeah, me and my bad jokes (all one can do is laugh away the embarrassment). :b


Lmao xD

It was embarrassing but I'm over it. Wouldn't be surprised either if she told her bf about it. :blank

I could see how you'd get those mixed up. Pad is pretty vague.


----------



## BeautyandRage

I feel like I want to give up and crawl in a hole


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks. I am drinking ginger tea.


You're welcome Sammy.

Oh, ok. I hope it helps ya. :hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lmao xD
> 
> It was embarrassing but I'm over it. Wouldn't be surprised either if she told her bf about it. :blank
> 
> I could see how you'd get those mixed up. Pad is pretty vague.


Downunder you would find it hard to take anything seriously. :b :lol






Just like these guys.

Makes life easier to deal with. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

BeautyandRage said:


> I feel like I want to give up and crawl in a hole


Never give up, never surrender. :hug


----------



## TheForestWasDark

Suchness said:


> I do that all the time, if I find a song I really like I listen to it until I get sick of it then I need a huge break before going back to it.


 It's hard not to when you come across a good new song. Even older ones i revisit sometimes and binge on them.. I also have a bad habit of changing songs before they end or restarting them if all the "good" parts are done. I remember i was at a house party once controlling the music and people got mad at me for playing "the changeling" by the doors like 6 times lmao..


----------



## Suchness

TheForestWasDark said:


> It's hard not to when you come across a good new song. Even older ones i revisit sometimes and binge on them.. I also have a bad habit of changing songs before they end or restarting them if all the "good" parts are done. I remember i was at a house party once controlling the music and people got mad at me for playing "the changeling" by the doors like 6 times lmao..


Lol. We used to party at one of my friends house and he would play the same song for half an hour, me and my friend would have to put up with it while we were coming down in the bedroom. But he didn't just do one song, he did with like 2 or 3 and this was pretty much every weekend for 3 months.


----------



## tea111red

i noticed just how much this site puts me in fight-or-flight mode while not coming here and then coming back. when not here my energy levels increased, muscle pain and tension decreased dramatically, mental clarity improved, started to feel more again, etc. suicidal thoughts started to increase again, though. :stu

i guess because i felt the loneliness more and more of a feeling of hopelessness when it comes to my personal life. this site doesn't really help me feel that much less alone and lonely either, though, i think. :stu

already feeling myself getting anxious again. :no

:stu


----------



## harrison

tea111red said:


> i noticed just how much this site puts me in fight-or-flight mode while not coming here and then coming back. when not here my energy levels increased, muscle pain and tension decreased dramatically, mental clarity improved, started to feel more again, etc. suicidal thoughts started to increase again, though. :stu
> 
> i guess because i felt the loneliness more and more of a feeling of hopelessness when it comes to my personal life. this site doesn't really help me feel that much less alone and lonely either, though, i think. :stu
> 
> already feeling myself getting anxious again. :no
> 
> :stu


Not sure if that means you feel better overall when you aren't here or not - but I noticed you weren't posting and was hoping you were okay. It was even quieter without you. Hope you're doing okay anyway.

I don't think this place has a negative effect on me overall - for example today I was starting to get quite manic and it was good to just chat to a few people here earlier. It helped me quite a bit.


----------



## Blue Dino

Sensing a spam account on the horizon trying to get up its post count... but maybe I'm wrong. :lol


----------



## Suchness

Blue Dino said:


> Sensing a spam account on the horizon trying to get up its post count... but maybe I'm wrong. :lol


Your Spidey senses are tingling.


----------



## Blue Dino

Suchness said:


> Your Spidey senses are tingling.


I am sensing $hirts.


----------



## Suchness

Blue Dino said:


> I am sensing $hirts.


I see.


----------



## tea111red

harrison said:


> Not sure if that means you feel better overall when you aren't here or not - but I noticed you weren't posting and was hoping you were okay. It was even quieter without you. Hope you're doing okay anyway.
> 
> I don't think this place has a negative effect on me overall - for example today I was starting to get quite manic and it was good to just chat to a few people here earlier. It helped me quite a bit.


thanks....i appreciate what you said. 

i did feel better in a lot of ways, but i felt the loneliness more intensely and the suicidal thoughts started to creep back. i don't know if posting on this site even helps anymore. well, i guess it distracts me from those thoughts and passes the time...in that way it helps. i still mostly feel alone and lonely here, though. i don't feel comfortable talking about a lot of things on here. i feel like i will get hate for stuff or more hate.

i already feel like leaving again for a few reasons, but i feel like the same thing could happen again (feeling the loneliness more intensely and suicidal thoughts). :stu

if i could just get myself to feel more hopeful about my personal life, i wouldn't get the suicidal thoughts as much.

thanks again for the nice words and feedback.


----------



## harrison

tea111red said:


> thanks....i appreciate what you said.
> 
> i did feel better in a lot of ways, but i felt the loneliness more intensely and the suicidal thoughts started to creep back. i don't know if posting on this site even helps anymore. well, i guess it distracts me from those thoughts and passes the time...in that way it helps. i still mostly feel alone and lonely here, though. i don't feel comfortable talking about a lot of things on here. i feel like i will get hate for stuff or more hate.
> 
> i already feel like leaving again for a few reasons, but i feel like the same thing could happen again (feeling the loneliness more intensely and suicidal thoughts). :stu
> 
> if i could just get myself to feel more hopeful about my personal life, i wouldn't get the suicidal thoughts as much.
> 
> thanks again for the nice words and feedback.


Sorry you're getting hate on here - I must miss a lot of what goes on, I didn't know. I don't understand why you would get posts like that tbh.

Yeah, I can go a day or two when I'm up at my wife's place for example - but I get lonely too. And I guess I just sort of use this place as somewhere to vent. (I feel funny using that word at my age)  Plus I can just chat to a few people - like this morning when I felt terrible.

I really wish there was something I could do to help you and a few others here. But there isn't much I can do I guess.


----------



## tea111red

harrison said:


> Sorry you're getting hate on here - I must miss a lot of what goes on, I didn't know. I don't understand why you would get posts like that tbh.
> 
> Yeah, I can go a day or two when I'm up at my wife's place for example - but I get lonely too. And I guess I just sort of use this place as somewhere to vent. (I feel funny using that word at my age)  Plus I can just chat to a few people - like this morning when I felt terrible.
> 
> I really wish there was something I could do to help you and a few others here. But there isn't much I can do I guess.


your understanding, sharing your experiences and general feedback is helpful.


----------



## harrison

tea111red said:


> your understanding, sharing your experiences and general feedback is helpful.


Okay - glad I can do something anyway. I'm off to bed now - hope you have a nice day over there.


----------



## tea111red

harrison said:


> Okay - glad I can do something anyway. I'm off to bed now - hope you have a nice day over there.


goodnight.


----------



## versikk

I'm a neurotic messsssssss

So utterly terrified of existence as a human.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Once again, relieved. I got my new ID. Didn't take long, the fee wasn't as much as I thought, and I didn't need my social security card or anything. I also got to register to vote cause I never did it when I was in HS. Had to get my picture taken three times. Apparently my head didn't want to cooperate and kept wanting to go sideways.


----------



## The Library of Emma

funnynihilist said:


> Like a robot?


Ideally.


----------



## Cherrycarmine

Tired and bored. I should find another job soon. At least then I'd be doing something other than browsing the internet for hours on end.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Unsure. I'm not use if I want to show my face around on Facebook. I already posted my first comment on a friend's picture using my new account. I'm not under my real name but if I decided to use my own face old high school classmates on his friend's list would reconize me. I'm not trying to get back in touch with them. I like to remain off the radar. Then again maybe it would do me some good if I got back in touch with them. I'm not sure. I just know that I still feel like I have no use for Facebook but once again I found myself registering.


----------



## kesker

Ill. Very worried. Hard to breathe. Freaking out. Sweating bullets.


----------



## firestar

kesker said:


> Ill. Very worried. Hard to breathe. Freaking out. Sweating bullets.


:squeeze I hope you're planning to see a doctor!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Ugh. I had to make a trip and a half back to Walmart cause I didn't know how to put gas in the vehicle. I couldn't remember how to do it and had to get someone to show me and I kept twisting and twisting the cap and it wouldn't come off. I was getting really frustrated with it. Then find out I can't cash my ****ing tax money at the money center cause it's closed. 

So you could say I'm pretty pissed right now. This will be the third trip I've had to make up there and I'm getting fed up with it.


----------



## A Summer In Texas

Apathetic.


----------



## kesker

firestar said:


> :squeeze I hope you're planning to see a doctor!


:squeeze thank you for reaching out. I may. I'm having trouble getting a handle on myself here. Got a stressful situation on top of all of it that's not helping. One of those weeks.........the last two weeks........:blank Thanks Lei


----------



## versikk

kesker said:


> :squeeze thank you for reaching out. I may. I'm having trouble getting a handle on myself here. Got a stressful situation on top of all of it that's not helping. One of those weeks.........the last two weeks........:blank Thanks Lei


If you can't breathe properly please go to the ER or something :squeeze
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## harrison

Feeling pretty steady - maybe it's after all the madness yesterday. I was okay after a decent night's sleep. I ran into someone I know in the city and had a coffee. I didn't get crazy talking to him - which was a relief, it happens a lot now. Can often just feel myself getting all speedy inside my head and my chest when I just talk to people. So weird. But today it didn't happen.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored. Unmotivated.


----------



## kesker

versikk said:


> If you can't breathe properly please go to the ER or something :squeeze
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:squeeze Thanks, I appreciate your advice. This is familiar territory for me, although it hasn't happened in a long time. Part of it is I'm waiting on some news that could go either way. Thanks again.


----------



## harrison

kesker said:


> :squeeze Thanks, I appreciate your advice. This is familiar territory for me, although it hasn't happened in a long time. Part of it is I'm waiting on some news that could go either way. Thanks again.


Is it like a panic attack mate? Hope things work out okay whatever it is anway.


----------



## kesker

harrison said:


> Is it like a panic attack mate? Hope things work out okay whatever it is anway.


Thanks, man. I appreciate it. Yeah, it's waves of panic attacks--the kind I used to have years ago that sent me to the emergency room, so pretty unsettling. I know what they are now so they're not as frightening as before but, still, disheartening as I'm fairly sure I've been able to avoid them all these years through diligent.....avoidance. Lately I've had to face the music and move through some anxiety-inducing scenarios and I also went through an event recently that could prove disastrous. Thanks for checking in.


----------



## harrison

kesker said:


> Thanks, man. I appreciate it. Yeah, it's waves of panic attacks--the kind I used to have years ago that sent me to the emergency room, so pretty unsettling. I know what they are now so they're not as frightening as before but, still, disheartening as *I'm fairly sure I've been able to avoid them all these years through diligent.....avoidance*. Lately I've had to face the music and move through some anxiety-inducing scenarios and I also went through an event recently that could prove disastrous. Thanks for checking in.


I do a lot of avoidance when I'm not feeling well too mate, so not alone there - that's for sure.

God I hate panic attacks - I've only ever had 2 full-on ones I think but it's very scary. Can see why people would think they're having a heart-attack actually.

My wife had one once and I actually called an ambulance. The guys just talked her down.


----------



## Fun Spirit

@kesker Oh kesker 
:squeeze


----------



## CNikki

Pretty bummed out.


----------



## kesker

Fun Spirit said:


> @kesker Oh kesker
> :squeeze


:squeeze got a worrisome week ahead. *Sigh* 
Thanks for the hug. :squeeze


----------



## Fun Spirit

kesker said:


> :squeeze got a worrisome week ahead. *Sigh*
> Thanks for the hug. :squeeze


I know: ( : ( 
You take it easy and slow ok.

And you're welcome: )


----------



## A Summer In Texas

Unsure if I'll ever a career in the near future. No money for university and probably not a good enough g.p.a to get any of the sort of degrees that I'd want.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Restless. Lonely.


----------



## kesker

SamanthaStrange said:


> Restless. Lonely.


This probably doesn't help but I think it's pretty beautiful :squeeze


----------



## 0589471

Sick. Afraid.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Sick. Afraid.


:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

kesker said:


> Thanks, man. I appreciate it. Yeah, it's waves of panic attacks--the kind I used to have years ago that sent me to the emergency room, so pretty unsettling. I know what they are now so they're not as frightening as before but, still, disheartening as I'm fairly sure I've been able to avoid them all these years through diligent.....avoidance. Lately I've had to face the music and move through some anxiety-inducing scenarios and I also went through an event recently that could prove disastrous. Thanks for checking in.


Those panic attacks are scary. Sorry to hear you are going through that mate.



CNikki said:


> Pretty bummed out.


:sigh



SamanthaStrange said:


> Restless. Lonely.


:sigh


----------



## kesker

@Mondo_Fernando Thanks a lot for checking in, dude. I got some exercise tonight so feeling a bit better.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

kesker said:


> @Mondo_Fernando Thanks a lot for checking in, dude. I got some exercise tonight so feeling a bit better.


You're welcome.

That is good to hear mate.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Gullible. I don't know why I am so gullible. I was about to check out that Facebook Log-in. It was like a "I think I will check this out La La La" *Click point click* ERRRK! *Rethinks* "Wait. Would that mean I would have 2 accounts? I can't afford to get banned." *Flee in fear*  Good thing I'm not too gullible because I tend to figure things out at the last second before it can get me. My suspicion would kick in.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Impatient, I want to fast forward to the good bits already :frown2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Fun Spirit

Your post made me. :lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

kesker said:


> This probably doesn't help but I think it's pretty beautiful :squeeze


Thanks. :squeeze

I hope you're feeling a bit better too.


----------



## Shadowweaver

Ahhh, feels good to have slept for 10 hours after 3 days of sleeping for 3-4 hours each...



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Ugh. I had to make a trip and a half back to Walmart cause I didn't know how to put gas in the vehicle. I couldn't remember how to do it and had to get someone to show me and I kept twisting and twisting the cap and it wouldn't come off. I was getting really frustrated with it. Then find out I can't cash my ****ing tax money at the money center cause it's closed.
> 
> So you could say I'm pretty pissed right now. This will be the third trip I've had to make up there and I'm getting fed up with it.


Reminds me of my own experience, I think, somewhere in Virginia. I had only received my license 2 weeks before and hadn't had much experience with different gas stations. I couldn't figure out how to pump gas and had to go inside the store nearby to ask someone for help. Turns out there was some delay between pressing the trigger and the gas starting being pumped, but I was so impatient that I thought the machine was broken. :haha


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Angry. My hours at work got cut down to 2 days. They know I have a damn vehicle and I need to pay my bills and stuff. This should be illegal. I'm tired of this place and I just might quit. There's no reason for them cutting my hours. I try telling my coworkers at work about it and they don't listen. Just goes through one ear and out the other.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> Ahhh, feels good to have slept for 10 hours after 3 days of sleeping for 3-4 hours each...
> 
> Reminds me of my own experience, I think, somewhere in Virginia. I had only received my license 2 weeks before and hadn't had much experience with different gas stations. I couldn't figure out how to pump gas and had to go inside the store nearby to ask someone for help. Turns out there was some delay between pressing the trigger and the gas starting being pumped, but I was so impatient that I thought the machine was broken. :haha


Lol xD Nothing wrong with that. Don't know until you learn. :b Yea, I've noticed that it seems like every gas station is a little different.


----------



## harrison

Woke up with a very sore throat. This lady coughed all over me the other day as I was crossing the street - maybe it was that, or I picked something up on these crazy trams or at the Uni yesterday. Think I'm getting a bit sick.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Woke up with a very sore throat. This lady coughed all over me the other day as I was crossing the street - maybe it was that, or I picked something up on these crazy trams or at the Uni yesterday. Think I'm getting a bit sick.


Had that a few weeks ago due to getting too hot.

Keeping same temp (especially around throat area, so a scarf to keep warm), vitamin C made it break / go away.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Had that a few weeks ago due to getting too hot.
> 
> Keeping same temp (especially around throat area, so a scarf to keep warm), vitamin C made it break / go away.


Yeah, it's annoying mate. I just had one of those big Vitamin C things that dissolve in water. (Berocca)

I had a flu shot a couple of weeks ago too - it's supposed to be a bad one this year. Have they mentioned that over there too?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yeah, it's annoying mate. I just had one of those big Vitamin C things that dissolve in water. (Berocca)


Should help.



harrison said:


> I had a flu shot a couple of weeks ago too - it's supposed to be a bad one this year.


Sometimes the flu shot can cause side effects in some people before settling down.



harrison said:


> Have they mentioned that over there too?


Not that I have seen.

But same problem with people coughing, etc.

Some parents think it is not a good idea to get the shot.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Should help.
> 
> Sometimes the flu shot can cause side effects in some people before settling down.
> 
> Not that I have seen.
> 
> But same problem with people coughing, etc.
> 
> Some parents think it is not a good idea to get the shot.


I think they said that 65 people or something had already died here this year from the flu. Most were elderly of course but also a young boy of 4 I think. Not good.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I think they said that 65 people or something had already died here this year from the flu. Most were elderly of course but also a young boy of 4 I think. Not good.


Wow, that is a lot of people in one year. It does seem to hit the elderly, young harder than middle aged people.

Usually with elderly colds happen with changes in temperature. As long as temps are monitored, usually can avoid colds. I found that to be true as well, as long as keep warm, but not too warm.

General rule of thumb is 20 degrees C on average room temp or keep same temp outside with jumper on, etc.


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Angry. My hours at work got cut down to 2 days. They know I have a damn vehicle and I need to pay my bills and stuff. This should be illegal. I'm tired of this place and I just might quit. There's no reason for them cutting my hours. I try telling my coworkers at work about it and they don't listen. Just goes through one ear and out the other.


Yeah, I would quit such a place. Jobs with no guaranteed hours really are a hit and miss. 



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol xD Nothing wrong with that. Don't know until you learn. :b Yea, I've noticed that it seems like every gas station is a little different.


But most people learn it as kids or teenagers while being in their parents' car.  My parents hadn't had one since 1996, so I was new to the entire gas station system!

To be fair, I do meet people sometimes who have trouble with pumping gas. Perhaps it's not that uncommon.


----------



## zonebox

A bit too sober to be honest, I think I'll mix myself a drink


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> Yeah, I would quit such a place. Jobs with no guaranteed hours really are a hit and miss.
> 
> But most people learn it as kids or teenagers while being in their parents' car.  My parents hadn't had one since 1996, so I was new to the entire gas station system!
> 
> To be fair, I do meet people sometimes who have trouble with pumping gas. Perhaps it's not that uncommon.


Yes, it's a shame. Seems like minimum wage jobs aren't worth anything these days. Just want to make sure I have a new battery for my vehicle and everything before I do get a new job.

I never paid attention as a kid. Haha. I didn't want to learn anything when I was a kid. Didn't learn how to count money when I was a kid. Don't think I knew how to tie my shoes until I was like 9. :b I didn't know much of anything until I was 21 honestly. I guess I pretty much gave up on life and knew no one would help me with things in general. But I'm caught up for the most part on things I should know at my age.

Now, I just want to learn everything. Been that way since I was 21. Yea, it must be pretty common, which is a good thing imo.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @Fun Spirit
> 
> Your post made me.


: ) 
____________

Uneasy. Unexpected nightly anxiety and panic. Now I can't sleep. It come and goes. This almost first half of the new year have not been the best for me. I been experiencing more panic that I did last year. I had about maybe 1 last year. This year been like 4-5. I really wish I knew why. It isn't a good feeling. It is going to be a long night.


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Yes, it's a shame. Seems like minimum wage jobs aren't worth anything these days. Just want to make sure I have a new battery for my vehicle and everything before I do get a new job.
> 
> I never paid attention as a kid. Haha. I didn't want to learn anything when I was a kid. Didn't learn how to count money when I was a kid. Don't think I knew how to tie my shoes until I was like 9. :b I didn't know much of anything until I was 21 honestly. I guess I pretty much gave up on life and knew no one would help me with things in general. But I'm caught up for the most part on things I should know at my age.
> 
> Now, I just want to learn everything. Been that way since I was 21. Yea, it must be pretty common, which is a good thing imo.


Interesting.  I have a slightly different problem: I always was good at learning theoretical things, but absolutely awful when it comes to practical things. I knew countless ways to solve complicated integrals when I was 20, but I couldn't even cook eggs properly even if my life depended on it.  I became a hero of the college dormitory once when I cooked rice in such a way that I literally had to use a hammer to break the large blob into pieces. They still tell that story to freshmen, I've heard.

Learning new things is always good!


----------



## BeautyandRage

Trashed lmaaoo


----------



## BeautyandRage

But sad cuz I’m drunk feeling good posting on an social xn tiy forumn wow fun
Life I have


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired


----------



## funnynihilist

BeautyandRage said:


> But sad cuz I'm drunk feeling good posting on an social xn tiy forumn wow fun
> Life I have


Haha same

The vodka just now kicking in


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> Interesting.  I have a slightly different problem: I always was good at learning theoretical things, but absolutely awful when it comes to practical things. I knew countless ways to solve complicated integrals when I was 20, but I couldn't even cook eggs properly even if my life depended on it.  I became a hero of the college dormitory once when I cooked rice in such a way that I literally had to use a hammer to break the large blob into pieces. They still tell that story to freshmen, I've heard.
> 
> Learning new things is always good!


I'm crappy at math. But estimating how much I'll spend before I buy it, generally I'm not bad at that. Haha, yea. We all learn differently. With eggs, you basically just put butter in a pan, then crack however many eggs you want. I usually like to cook 3 eggs and I put it on high. Then you just frequently stir them until they get less runny. I like mine both a little runny and not runny but not too runny. Takes like 2-3 minutes before they actually start cooking. I didn't know how to cook eggs until I was 22 or 23. I'm 26 now. A hammer. :laugh: That's pretty hilarious. Yea, I'm sure you'll be remembered for that story. xD

It's weird cause in HS, I was pretty good at English. Grammar was so easy to me and it was like the easiest subject in HS. English and French ironically were the easiest. My French teacher made it less boring, too which helped. I didn't even know until not long before I started 11th grade that I was supposed to take at least one language class. I'm a bit slow. Lol Found out I was supposed to when I mentioned it to my sister. She was like You're supposed to take at least one language class for two years. And I was like "Oh, I didn't know that. No one told me."  Also didn't know I had to be in at least one after school club until not long before 11th grade. Good thing I found out in time. Haha.

Only math I didn't struggle in was Algebra. Geometry was hard cause I had a teacher that didn't explain it good so she had to tutor me after school a lot.


----------



## roxslide

Feeling really ungrateful. I have a wonderful life, I should acknowledge that more. :cry


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

roxslide said:


> Feeling really ungrateful. I have a wonderful life, I should acknowledge that more. :cry


:hug :squeeze


----------



## BeautyandRage

I am doing squats this will hurt tomorrow


----------



## funnynihilist

BeautyandRage said:


> I am doing squats this will hurt tomorrow


I'm doing arm lifets with my glass


----------



## BeautyandRage

funnynihilist said:


> I'm doing arm lifets with my glass


Lmaoooo


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm crappy at math. But estimating how much I'll spend before I buy it, generally I'm not bad at that. Haha, yea. We all learn differently. With eggs, you basically just put butter in a pan, then crack however many eggs you want. I usually like to cook 3 eggs and I put it on high. Then you just frequently stir them until they get less runny. I like mine both a little runny and not runny but not too runny. Takes like 2-3 minutes before they actually start cooking. I didn't know how to cook eggs until I was 22 or 23. I'm 26 now. A hammer. :laugh: That's pretty hilarious. Yea, I'm sure you'll be remembered for that story. xD
> 
> It's weird cause in HS, I was pretty good at English. Grammar was so easy to me and it was like the easiest subject in HS. English and French ironically were the easiest. My French teacher made it less boring, too which helped. I didn't even know until not long before I started 11th grade that I was supposed to take at least one language class. I'm a bit slow. Lol Found out I was supposed to when I mentioned it to my sister. She was like You're supposed to take at least one language class for two years. And I was like "Oh, I didn't know that. No one told me."  Also didn't know I had to be in at least one after school club until not long before 11th grade. Good thing I found out in time. Haha.
> 
> Only math I didn't struggle in was Algebra. Geometry was hard cause I had a teacher that didn't explain it good so she had to tutor me after school a lot.


Well, I've learned a lot of cooking by now, as 3 years ago in the summer I decided to make it a point to become a good amateur cook.  It turned out that cooking is actually pretty easy, especially if you don't follow the precise recipes and give yourself a lot freedom in the ingredient choice and cooking methods. My problem in the past was that I try to do it the way everyone else does, and my lack of experience always made me fail. But when I relaxed and just decided to cook things I like the way I like, then suddenly everything became easy! A lot of things I cook probably can't be found in restaurants, and they don't always look overly pretty, but the taste is always heavenly.

I can relate with regards to being slow at school. I've always been bad at doing things "by the book" in life in general. Cooking is one example, but really, overall, I look at the world quite differently from most people, and I find that the results are the best when I just do things my way and do not reflect on other people's opinions. 
Not a good strategy when taking official education, but it works quite well in life in general.  People may think I'm odd or even crazy sometimes, but most people appreciate me being me, so to speak. A lot of people said that I'm a very good person to ask for advice, because I always offer a unique perspective that they might not have thought about.
It's really a double-edged sword: you mess up a lot of things that require following the guidelines, but on the flip side you succeed at many things that require a more chaotic approach.

Math has always been very easy for me. On the other hand, chemistry and biology are my nemesis.  And yes, geometry strongly depends on the way it's taught. A lot of teachers simply teach you the rules, but never explain how to develop geometrical intuition, and you become stuck with a bunch of rules unable to apply them to the actual problems.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Fun Spirit said:


> : )
> ____________
> 
> Uneasy. Unexpected nightly anxiety and panic. Now I can't sleep. It come and goes. This almost first half of the new year have not been the best for me. I been experiencing more panic that I did last year. I had about maybe 1 last year. This year been like 4-5. I really wish I knew why. It isn't a good feeling. It is going to be a long night.


Sorry to hear.

Noticed lack of sleep due to stress or other causes makes anxiety worse.


----------



## Maslow

Only slept a few hours last night due to some really inconsiderate people. :mum


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> Well, I've learned a lot of cooking by now, as 3 years ago in the summer I decided to make it a point to become a good amateur cook.  It turned out that cooking is actually pretty easy, especially if you don't follow the precise recipes and give yourself a lot freedom in the ingredient choice and cooking methods. My problem in the past was that I try to do it the way everyone else does, and my lack of experience always made me fail. But when I relaxed and just decided to cook things I like the way I like, then suddenly everything became easy! A lot of things I cook probably can't be found in restaurants, and they don't always look overly pretty, but the taste is always heavenly.
> 
> I can relate with regards to being slow at school. I've always been bad at doing things "by the book" in life in general. Cooking is one example, but really, overall, I look at the world quite differently from most people, and I find that the results are the best when I just do things my way and do not reflect on other people's opinions.
> Not a good strategy when taking official education, but it works quite well in life in general.  People may think I'm odd or even crazy sometimes, but most people appreciate me being me, so to speak. A lot of people said that I'm a very good person to ask for advice, because I always offer a unique perspective that they might not have thought about.
> It's really a double-edged sword: you mess up a lot of things that require following the guidelines, but on the flip side you succeed at many things that require a more chaotic approach.
> 
> Math has always been very easy for me. On the other hand, chemistry and biology are my nemesis.  And yes, geometry strongly depends on the way it's taught. A lot of teachers simply teach you the rules, but never explain how to develop geometrical intuition, and you become stuck with a bunch of rules unable to apply them to the actual problems.


Oh, nice.  Good for you. Cooking is a good skill to know. Well, that makes sense. Yea, it can be better and more fun to make your own ingredients. That's cool. Haha
So you just learn by doing your own thing.

In my experience though, I just think of a meal I've had before then just kind of figure out what all goes in it and find the ingredients at the store then cook it. It's worked for me. Although there's two things I've cooked that have failed on me. As long as the food tastes good, that's all that matters. :laugh:

Haha, yea. You seem like a likeable and peppy person.  Sometimes, doing things the difficult way can be better in a way. I don't let peoples' opinions try to get in my way, either. All it does is bring you down. Too many conflicting opinions in the world. :b

Biology was easy for me. xD

Geometry indeed does depend on how it's taught. I remember taking a Geometry exam at the end of the year and it was so much easier cause I learned a lot through all that tutoring.


----------



## A Summer In Texas

Bitter.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel really angry and frustrated. Because, I guess, I'm no good, and there is nothing I can do to make myself better?


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Oh, nice.  Good for you. Cooking is a good skill to know. Well, that makes sense. Yea, it can be better and more fun to make your own ingredients. That's cool. Haha
> So you just learn by doing your own thing.
> 
> In my experience though, I just think of a meal I've had before then just kind of figure out what all goes in it and find the ingredients at the store then cook it. It's worked for me. Although there's two things I've cooked that have failed on me. As long as the food tastes good, that's all that matters. :laugh:
> 
> Haha, yea. You seem like a likeable and peppy person.  Sometimes, doing things the difficult way can be better in a way. I don't let peoples' opinions try to get in my way, either. All it does is bring you down. Too many conflicting opinions in the world. :b
> 
> Biology was easy for me. xD
> 
> Geometry indeed does depend on how it's taught. I remember taking a Geometry exam at the end of the year and it was so much easier cause I learned a lot through all that tutoring.


I do something similar: I look at what ingredients I find most enjoyable and then try to combine them in different ways. But I also like to spice things up by trying unconventional ingredients or combinations.  For a while I made amazing chicken soups by adding some apples and pears and boiling them along with everything else; the fruits gave it that sweet and slightly sour aftertaste that made the soup much more enjoyable to eat!

I can be peppy indeed! Not sure about the likeable part; everyone has different preferences, and I certainly cannot please everyone. But almost everyone respects my ability to "be me" to a significant degree, and respect sometimes is worth much more than approval.
Good to hear you have the same attitude. :hs It's not always easy to exercise, but I find that having yourself as the ultimate judge leads to a much more satisfying life, than allowing everyone else to decide how you are doing.

Have you only studied the 2D geometry, or the 3D as well? I struggled with the 3D for a while in the 10th grade, because I'm awful at drawing things, and you have to draw quite a lot in geometry. Luckily, our teacher suggested an amazing practice book on 3D geometry, and after going through it and solving all the exercises it was a breeze.


----------



## SparklingWater

Tired tired tired. Weary. Beleaguered. ****ed. But persistent and stubborn thank goodness. Considering antidepressants again, but given my last experience I'm more than a bit reluctant.


----------



## farfegnugen

Kind of jeez. I haven't really had much free time or a real day off since April 21st. I know that to be case because I had written that down on a calendar. Today was supposed to be that day when I didn't have any responsibility except to myself, and here I get a call saying something has happened and I need to meet someone at 11:30. I think I am going to have bot stamped on my forehead.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Suicidal holy ****. Why do I keep torturing myself by looking at their lives... but it's a test, I want to be able to look without getting upset and envious and jealous and breaking down and wanting to cut my wrists and slit my throat.

I want to be happy too, I hate having to have an ugly upbringing, like why am I even here? It's so disappointing and tragic, I hate being a regurgitation. I really resent my parents, I'm miserable. Like why tf did you f***ing put me here for what? This is ****, you don't even look after me properly, I was so lacking in my youth and development. There's still problems now that you're not even trying to fix properly, it's too f***ing late holy **** I hate this.

I just want to have a modest life like my colleagues, of course everyone has problems but they can overcome them. Not like the mountains of negatives in my family, it's hard to breathe. I can't think of a single category where things are good, just the bare minimum... I'm breathing still. FML

I really just want to not exist, I I hatem myself so much i hate myself so much i hate myself so much i hate myself so much i need ****ing love, no one has loved me. not even my parents who youre supposed to trust, youre born dependent on them whether they're ****ing geniuses or plain trash. i need affection, i need love but no one will love a stitched together creature.

i hate everything about myself,. nothing but perfection can make up for everything that's happened and going to happen to me in this miserable life .. i dont have enough to do that though










I wish I had something that was special that no one could take away from me, but everything has been taken from me, I'm stripped to the bone. No one loved and cared for me, I'm nothing.


----------



## discopotato

Pissed off.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Unwanted. Don't think any guy wants me.


----------



## blue2

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Unwanted. Don't think any guy wants me.


....How many guys see you though.. I.E.. do you go to specific places to meet guys ? Maybe the ones that like you are socially awkward : /


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

blue2 said:


> ....How many guys see you though.. I.E.. do you go to specific places to meet guys ? Maybe the ones that like you are socially awkward : /


Well, I can't afford to go out and meet guys. Maybe the ones that like me really are socially awkward, not in a bad way of course. I notice there seems to be several shy people around here. Work is the only place for me to meet anyone. I have a few of my coworkers talk to me. One of them seemed to like me but I'm not 100 percent sure. I'd rather not go out with a coworker. Haha. Things could get awkward if they don't go as planned. ops

Guess I'll just wait for the right time. Patience is key.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Pissed off.


:hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Unwanted. Don't think any guy wants me.


Finding ones match is difficult for most people.

Some people just settle on someone.


----------



## Shadowweaver

In my case, I feel like it's not that no one wants me (there have been advances), but rather that I'm not overly passionate about anyone. I'm kind of, I don't know... desensitised to most people? There are very few people I've met that really make me tick. I don't even have high standards; I just don't like "normal" people and prefer ones with a spark. And everyone around seems to be normal in many ways! That's the curse of living in a rural northern state, I suppose.

Or maybe deep down inside I just don't feel ready for the commitment a relationship implies. Even with girls who I really liked, whenever conversations went in that direction, I would always find an excuse to run away.  I grew really fond of my freedom and independence, even if they sometimes make me feel a bit unfulfilled.

I wish I could live two different lives: in one I would remain single, in another I would get into a relationship. As it is, I kind of want both and neither at the same time.
@PurplePeopleEater I wouldn't mind visiting next time I'm in your state, but you'd probably find me too wacky to seriously consider it. :b


----------



## harrison

Sort of normal, I think my medication is working. It's very boring.


----------



## 3stacks

Lonely and not good enough


----------



## Crisigv

Like complete garbage.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando I wouldn't just settle for anyone, though.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Terrified.


----------



## TheForestWasDark

like a foot in a steel-toed boot is kicking me in the ***


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Sort of normal, I think my medication is working. It's very boring.


It's not the remake of Overboard movie you are watching?

Kitchen scene crack me up as that is so me when cooking (joking of course).



3stacks said:


> Lonely and not good enough


You are good enough.



Crisigv said:


> Like complete garbage.


No, cool person.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando I wouldn't just settle for anyone, though.


Oh, ok.

I think I have been watching those settlers settle in that one country.

Excuse me while I go nuts (opens bag of peanuts).


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> It's not the remake of Overboard movie you are watching?
> 
> Kitchen scene crack me up as that is so me when cooking (joking of course).


Sorry I didn't know that one mate - I looked at this trailer though and I definitely like Eva Longoria.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Sorry I didn't know that one mate - I looked at this trailer though and I definitely like Eva Longoria.


Eva fan, huh?

I think I like the original Overboard in the 80's, but this version has it's funny moments.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit lonely tonight, social media is not helping. :sigh



discopotato said:


> Pissed off.


 Aww!  :hug :squeeze



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Unwanted. Don't think any guy wants me.


Aww!  :hug :squeeze

You seem like a good person who is not going to take crap from anyone. If this makes you feel any better, I would date you in a heartbeat if you lived closer.



3stacks said:


> Lonely and not good enough


Chin up, my dude.  :rub


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@iAmCodeMonkey That's sweet of you.  Thank you for that.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Allergies are making me more miserable than usual.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Cringe - Reading old emails messages to people... one of them is famous now but I hope they forgot me. ._____.


----------



## Graeme1988

Pissed off... nuthin’ seem to be going right for me.  Then again it rarely does, to be honest.

But, apparently, I’m the difficult one. Even though it wus’nae me who went totally bat-s*!% and flow off the handle at being corrected regarding the slight difference between wireless and Bluetooth. And that a wireless printer doesn’t automatically mean that the thing connects via Bluetooth. :bash


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @iAmCodeMonkey That's sweet of you.  Thank you for that.


No problem. Thanks for the acknowledgement!


----------



## SofaKing

I was feeling smug walking 4.2 miles round trip to see the Avengers movie, but kind of blew it on the way back with that cheesesteak.


----------



## 3stacks

@Mondo_Fernando @iAmCodeMonkey thanks guys


----------



## harrison

Getting bored. Living on your own is crap. Once I'm properly awake I need people to talk to - this is pathetic.

Plus if I take a higher dose of my medication the mania backs off a bit but I get sleepy. I'll start dozing off on the train and some little kid will say "look Mummy that man's having a sleep!" (happened not long ago) Again - pathetic. Better to be slightly manic I think and just try and control myself - at least you have more energy and you feel like you're awake. (and actually alive)


----------



## komorikun

harrison said:


> Getting bored. Living on your own is crap. Once I'm properly awake I need people to talk to - this is pathetic.
> 
> Plus if I take a higher dose of my medication the mania backs off a bit but I get sleepy. I'll start dozing off on the train and some little kid will say "look Mummy that man's having a sleep!" (happened not long ago) Again - pathetic. Better to be slightly manic I think and just try and control myself - at least you have more energy and you feel like you're awake. (and actually alive)


Could you just take a small dose in the morning and a larger dose in the evening?


----------



## harrison

komorikun said:


> Could you just take a small dose in the morning and a larger dose in the evening?


Thanks but I don't think that would work. I used to take it all in evening and it doesn't seem to matter when you take it. It seems to last quite a while in your system no matter when you take it. It's a pain - I hate it.

When they first diagnosed me I didn't believe them for years. But I do now. Such a weird feeling too - you feel this incredible intensity like you could literally eat someone alive. I know that sounds strange but it's what it feels like. You want to devour someone. Maybe I should get a new gf. (sorry if that's a bit much) It's not all sexual though - it's very hard to describe this feeling.


----------



## Shadowweaver

The tornado is about to hit in a few minutes. Let's do this!


----------



## SparklingWater

Like a zombie.


----------



## kesker

harrison said:


> Getting bored. Living on your own is crap. Once I'm properly awake I need people to talk to - this is pathetic.
> 
> Plus if I take a higher dose of my medication the mania backs off a bit but I get sleepy. I'll start dozing off on the train and some little kid will say "look Mummy that man's having a sleep!" (happened not long ago) Again - pathetic. Better to be slightly manic I think and just try and control myself - at least you have more energy and you feel like you're awake. (and actually alive)


It must take a lot of diligence for you to find that balance. It doesn't sound like you can turn your back on things for long so I salute the amount of work you've obviously put in to remain the cool guy you are. I hope it gets easier. I certainly see nothing pathetic in what you do or who you are. On the contrary, you're a hard worker. You have to be. You're also a kind voice here on the site which is much appreciated. Take care, dude.


----------



## komorikun

harrison said:


> Thanks but I don't think that would work. I used to take it all in evening and it doesn't seem to matter when you take it. It seems to last quite a while in your system no matter when you take it. It's a pain - I hate it.
> 
> When they first diagnosed me I didn't believe them for years. But I do now. Such a weird feeling too - you feel this incredible intensity like you could literally eat someone alive. I know that sounds strange but it's what it feels like. You want to devour someone. Maybe I should get a new gf. (sorry if that's a bit much) It's not all sexual though - it's very hard to describe this feeling.


I see. So the medicine's effects last over 12 hours. Don't think I've ever been manic. I have more the opposite problem of feeling lethargic most of the time with occasional sudden urges to sleep. It takes a lot of effort just to leave the house.

But I have felt cabin fever before, where I really want to leave the house and go do something, walk around, and perhaps talk to people. Where internet, eating, and puttering around the apartment is not enough.

A few times when I took MDMA or LSD I really, really wanted to talk to someone. I was always surrounded by people except for the one time I came home from the party and the LSD hadn't worn off. I only took a teeny tiny dosage, but oh man. Wasn't hallucinating or anything but certain things were "sparkly." It takes forever to wear off. MDMA only lasts 6 hours and you wish it would last longer while LSD goes for 12 hours or more and you wish it would just end. Can't sleep, can't just browse the internet.


----------



## Crisigv

Confused


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> @Mondo_Fernando @iAmCodeMonkey thanks guys


You're welcome.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> No problem. Thanks for the acknowledgement!


Well, you're too awesome not to acknowledge.

:high5


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Alone.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Well, you're too awesome not to acknowledge.
> 
> :high5


 Oh stop it you! :blush:high5


----------



## harrison

komorikun said:


> I see. So the medicine's effects last over 12 hours. Don't think I've ever been manic. I have more the opposite problem of feeling lethargic most of the time with occasional sudden urges to sleep. It takes a lot of effort just to leave the house.
> 
> But I have felt cabin fever before, where I really want to leave the house and go do something, walk around, and perhaps talk to people. Where internet, eating, and puttering around the apartment is not enough.
> 
> A few times when I took MDMA or LSD I really, really wanted to talk to someone. I was always surrounded by people except for the one time I came home from the party and the LSD hadn't worn off. I only took a teeny tiny dosage, but oh man. Wasn't hallucinating or anything but certain things were "sparkly." It takes forever to wear off. MDMA only lasts 6 hours and you wish it would last longer while LSD goes for 12 hours or more and you wish it would just end. Can't sleep, can't just browse the internet.


Mania's very strange - I've never felt any drug experience that's like it and I tried a range of things when I was younger. This is different. I was bad in Bali one time and lucky I didn't get hurt - someone I was with at the time sort of watched out for me while we were together, she was good.

I've been with another person once that was manic when I wasn't - and it's weird to see it from the other side - the look in her eyes was incredible. The time we were together was extremely intense. Lucky we both weren't manic at the same time or we'd have almost torn each other to bloody pieces.

I'm seeing a new psychiatrist next Monday so maybe he can help me - I hope so.


----------



## harrison

kesker said:


> It must take a lot of diligence for you to find that balance. It doesn't sound like you can turn your back on things for long so I salute the amount of work you've obviously put in to remain the cool guy you are. I hope it gets easier. I certainly see nothing pathetic in what you do or who you are. On the contrary, you're a hard worker. You have to be. You're also a kind voice here on the site which is much appreciated. Take care, dude.


Thanks Paul - it's a very difficult thing to handle and it seems to be getting worse. Makes it hard to do my books - which I love, but I just wait until it goes away. My wife also calls me a lot to check on me which is good too. She's been very good with what she's put up with from me - a lot of people wouldn't have.

Thanks for saying that Paul.


----------



## Shadowweaver

Graeme1988 said:


> Pissed off... nuthin' seem to be going right for me.  Then again it rarely does, to be honest.
> 
> But, apparently, I'm the difficult one. Even though it wus'nae me who went totally bat-s*!% and flow off the handle at being corrected regarding the slight difference between wireless and Bluetooth. And that a wireless printer doesn't automatically mean that the thing connects via Bluetooth. :bash


Hey now, we all get angry every now and then over minor things. No shame in it.  :rub Take it humorously!

Here is a funny one:


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Alone.


:squeeze Sorry to hear. 
@iAmCodeMonkey :grin2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> :squeeze Sorry to hear.
> 
> @iAmCodeMonkey :grin2:


Thanks Purple. :hug

You are a darling as Monkey of your generation would say. 

I'll take it one step further and add a cheesy darling song to the post.






Now you can see why I'm alone, cheesy music that people my generation run from.

You know it goes very wrong when a horse arrives on the scene in a video clip and trys to eat things. :lol

(I'm joking around after thanking you, as have a very wacky sense of humour)


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That she has a lot of energy for an old dog. I feel tired just watching that.


----------



## Shadowweaver

Went to the grocery store to buy milk. Ended up buying tons of groceries. Drove home, opened the baggage compartment... and realised that I forgot the milk at the store parking lot.

Oh how I hate it when this happens... :bash


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Indifferent.


----------



## Going Sane

Down in the ground and it's not as romantic as some make it seem so i want to be up and moving forward again as soon as possible


----------



## Kevin001

Meh typical day so far :stu


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Thanks Purple. :hug
> 
> You are a darling as Monkey of your generation would say.
> 
> I'll take it one step further and add a cheesy darling song to the post.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Now you can see why I'm alone, cheesy music that people my generation run from.
> 
> You know it goes very wrong when a horse arrives on the scene in a video clip and trys to eat things. :lol
> 
> (I'm joking around after thanking you, as have a very wacky sense of humour)


I laughed out loud at 3:00. :lol

I like the song, though. Sounds good and not cheesy. :grin2:

Haha, thank you.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> Went to the grocery store to buy milk. Ended up buying tons of groceries. Drove home, opened the baggage compartment... and realised that I forgot the milk at the store parking lot.
> 
> Oh how I hate it when this happens... :bash


Oh gosh. That sucks that happened. :/ Do you live far from the grocery store or not so you can go back and get it?

That happened to me once or twice. It's just as bad when you get home and open something and it all falls on the floor. I've had that happen to me like 7 times. I bought a fruit cup and opened the top. The tops are really tight so they're hard to get off for me and ended up dropping some of the best fruit in it on the floor. :/ That happened like a week ago.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I laughed out loud at 3:00. :lol
> 
> I like the song, though. Sounds good and not cheesy. :grin2:
> 
> Haha, thank you.


Gets awkward between horse and man at end of video clip. :O

Maybe for your generation it sounds good. :b

You're welcome.


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Oh gosh. That sucks that happened. :/ Do you live far from the grocery store or not so you can go back and get it?
> 
> That happened to me once or twice. It's just as bad when you get home and open something and it all falls on the floor. I've had that happen to me like 7 times. I bought a fruit cup and opened the top. The tops are really tight so they're hard to get off for me and ended up dropping some of the best fruit in it on the floor. :/ That happened like a week ago.


The grocery store I usually shop at is approximately 20 minutes of driving away from me. I could theoretically make it, but it probably would cost more in gas expenses to do it, than the milk did.  Plus, I forgot it at the bottom of a cart on the parking lot, and it probably was removed from there by employees shortly.

Yes, I absolutely hate when that happens as well! I used to hang grocery bags on the sides of my bike's handlebar, and they would always hit the wheels, getting torn. Milk bottles "exploded" more than once this way, even on someone's private property once. It's always painful to lose goods you just bought this way.

My dad once forgot his ID at a grocery store and never found it. Had to get a new one, and the process took a few weeks... So, I suppose, we got away easy in comparison.


----------



## Crisigv

Extremely tired, I think it's time for bed. At least these earlier start times are kind of fixing my late nights/mornings.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Misanthropic.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> The grocery store I usually shop at is approximately 20 minutes of driving away from me. I could theoretically make it, but it probably would cost more in gas expenses to do it, than the milk did.  Plus, I forgot it at the bottom of a cart on the parking lot, and it probably was removed from there by employees shortly.
> 
> Yes, I absolutely hate when that happens as well! I used to hang grocery bags on the sides of my bike's handlebar, and they would always hit the wheels, getting torn. Milk bottles "exploded" more than once this way, even on someone's private property once. It's always painful to lose goods you just bought this way.
> 
> My dad once forgot his ID at a grocery store and never found it. Had to get a new one, and the process took a few weeks... So, I suppose, we got away easy in comparison.


Yea, not worth it. :/ Sorry that happened to you. As long as it only happens once in a blue moon.

That sounds crappy. It really is. :frown2: It seems difficult hanging groceries on the handlebars.

I've walked with my groceries home a few times before. Even holding a bag with a bottle of laundry detergent for 50 minutes really tired my arms out. I had to keep switching back and forth from one hand to the other like every 30 seconds. Didn't think just a thing of laundry detergent would tire my arms that easily.

It sucks losing things and forgetting things at the store. I know that feeling. Anxiety can make some people a bit more forgetful, too. Anxiety plus extra responsibilities and rushing to get things done in the day. I try my best to manage my time. Wish there was 2-3 more hours in the day. 
@Mondo_Fernando Haha, I saw that. That was a funny horse. 

I like music like that. xD


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando Haha, I saw that. That was a funny horse.
> 
> I like music like that. xD


Nice looking fur too on that horse. Want to pet that horse without a rear leg kick. :O

Reminds me of Mister Ed, as looks the same.

Oh, noted that you like that music.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Nice looking fur too on that horse. Want to pet that horse without a rear leg kick. :O
> 
> Reminds me of Mister Ed, as looks the same.
> 
> Oh, noted that you like that music.


Haha. I'd want to pet it, too. :laugh:

Yea, it was pretty good and the music video was hilarious.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Haha. I'd want to pet it, too. :laugh:
> 
> Yea, it was pretty good and the music video was hilarious.


Brush it and hold it and never let it go. :b

I think I have been watching too much........Pepe Le Pew.

But I have a feeling that this is so me when dating......






All the felines run away from me (raises eyebrows). :lol

Another explanation as to why I'm alone.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & depressed


----------



## discopotato

I'm on the brink of an anxiety attack because I'm expecting a phone call and I can't ignore it like most phone calls I get. ugh.


----------



## Suchness

discopotato said:


> I'm on the brink of an anxiety attack because I'm expecting a phone call and I can't ignore it like most phone calls I get. ugh.


It'll pass, think of it as a phone call that will come and go quickly.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> I'm on the brink of an anxiety attack because I'm expecting a phone call and I can't ignore it like most phone calls I get. ugh.


Think of it as if you can do this phone call you'll get a treat at the end of it. Then spoil yourself.


----------



## discopotato

Suchness said:


> It'll pass, think of it as a phone call that will come and go quickly.





Mondo_Fernando said:


> Think of it as if you can do this phone call you'll get a treat at the end of it. Then spoil yourself.


Thanks  it'll be great when its all over. Its just the waiting that I can't stand, I would prefer to be surprised with this phone call out of the blue so I wouldn't have time to think about everything that could potentially go wrong


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Yea, not worth it. :/ Sorry that happened to you. As long as it only happens once in a blue moon.
> 
> That sounds crappy. It really is. :frown2: It seems difficult hanging groceries on the handlebars.
> 
> I've walked with my groceries home a few times before. Even holding a bag with a bottle of laundry detergent for 50 minutes really tired my arms out. I had to keep switching back and forth from one hand to the other like every 30 seconds. Didn't think just a thing of laundry detergent would tire my arms that easily.
> 
> It sucks losing things and forgetting things at the store. I know that feeling. Anxiety can make some people a bit more forgetful, too. Anxiety plus extra responsibilities and rushing to get things done in the day. I try my best to manage my time. Wish there was 2-3 more hours in the day.


Well, in retrospective, it's one of those stories that one day you remember and laugh.  It's not too bad!

Yes, it was very frustrating: even when nothing went wrong, the trip home was always painful. The moment I first put the grocery bags into my car's baggage compartment was a nirvana.

Forgetting small things seems to be worse than forgetting expensive things. If you forget something expensive, you just know that you have to go back, and you have no hesitation. But when you forget something small, there is always this internal struggle: "I should go back and snatch it, but I feel so lazy and it's probably not worth it..." We really need some switch in the brain that would allow us to quickly make a decision and move on!


----------



## 3stacks

Like a worthless piece of poop


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Thanks  it'll be great when its all over. Its just the waiting that I can't stand, I would prefer to be surprised with this phone call out of the blue so I wouldn't have time to think about everything that could potentially go wrong


You're welcome.

Wish you the best with that phone call.

Stay strong.


----------



## CAKE!

I'm feeling pretty good  I've been listening to a subliminal lately thats helped tremendously with anxiety and sleep. I wanted to make a thread about it but it says im not allowed?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> Well, in retrospective, it's one of those stories that one day you remember and laugh.  It's not too bad!
> 
> Yes, it was very frustrating: even when nothing went wrong, the trip home was always painful. The moment I first put the grocery bags into my car's baggage compartment was a nirvana.
> 
> Forgetting small things seems to be worse than forgetting expensive things. If you forget something expensive, you just know that you have to go back, and you have no hesitation. But when you forget something small, there is always this internal struggle: "I should go back and snatch it, but I feel so lazy and it's probably not worth it..." We really need some switch in the brain that would allow us to quickly make a decision and move on!


Haha, yea. Better to laugh at it.

I bet that felt great. Well, it's over and done with so it's just another one of those annoying things that can be in the past now.

Yea, that does seem worse in a way when you put it like that. xD I've had that internal struggle. I'll take it back if it's something like clothes to the store. Quick decisions for the win. Lol

I had some girl at work put a deli sandwich in one of my grocery bags a few days ago and didn't notice until I got home. I was just going to eat it the next day until I noticed there were opened mustard packets in it. It didn't look like it had been eaten but it wasn't worth eating and probably too late to take a sandwich back to the store. The girl said she didn't know whose it was to someone so not sure why she gave it to me. :stu


----------



## harrison

Seemed to have settled down for now, hopefully I can go to the Uni and look at these books again. I can't believe that was almost a week ago I did that. Those days just disappeared.


----------



## 8888

Disappointed, drove 20 minutes to a farm to get fresh eggs only to find they were out of eggs.


----------



## CAKE!

Has anyone tried Indigo Mind Lab's subliminals?

I'm using the anxiety one and it helps me sleep and I've been really calm these past few weeks. I might try their success subliminal, any thoughts?


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable, lonely and unhappy with my life


----------



## leaf in the wind

Kind of guilty.

I don't owe anyone anything, and no one owes me anything, but there it is.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Pretty depressed


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I've been so parched recently. I keep drinking water and stuff and still want more to drink.


----------



## rdrr

Upset because I am spending a lot of time thinking things out and I just keep going down this rabbit hole of realization. 

Angry at myself for being helpless. I should write things out but im worried it will upset and depress me even further when things start to make more and more sense.


----------



## Shadowweaver

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Haha, yea. Better to laugh at it.
> 
> I bet that felt great. Well, it's over and done with so it's just another one of those annoying things that can be in the past now.
> 
> Yea, that does seem worse in a way when you put it like that. xD I've had that internal struggle. I'll take it back if it's something like clothes to the store. Quick decisions for the win. Lol
> 
> I had some girl at work put a deli sandwich in one of my grocery bags a few days ago and didn't notice until I got home. I was just going to eat it the next day until I noticed there were opened mustard packets in it. It didn't look like it had been eaten but it wasn't worth eating and probably too late to take a sandwich back to the store. The girl said she didn't know whose it was to someone so not sure why she gave it to me. :stu


You are more proactive than me! I usually just think, "Oh well", and don't return back, unless it's something expensive. 

Forgot a coat I really liked somewhere on campus once and couldn't find it; it wasn't expensive, but I really liked it and couldn't find a similar one for sale. Even went to the local police department and asked them if they found anything.
A year later it suddenly appeared in our office, with people having no idea where it came from. It was one of the most mysterious things in my entire life.

Sometimes people just make nice gestures like this. It is common in my office room, when, when we find some food that nobody wants, we put it on someone's table. Although putting a sandwich in a grocery bag without telling anyone is quite strange, indeed. :um


----------



## SparklingWater

Annoyed, impatient, ashamed.


----------



## tea111red

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I've been so parched recently. I keep drinking water and stuff and still want more to drink.


try melon? or those electrolyte packets in water?


----------



## harrison

Much better than I was thinking I would


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Much better than I was thinking I would


Good to hear.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Good to hear.


Thanks mate - hope you're having a good night.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - hope you're having a good night.


You're welcome.

Good so far. Thanks for asking.


----------



## discopotato

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> Wish you the best with that phone call.
> 
> Stay strong.


Thank you, I appreciate it


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Thank you, I appreciate it


Walang anuman (You're welcome).


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Not too bad for a change. The business meeting in Toronto went well yesterday. Now I need food ASAP.


----------



## Maslow

Crappy. Had a rough night ruminating about stupid crap.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> You are more proactive than me! I usually just think, "Oh well", and don't return back, unless it's something expensive.
> 
> Forgot a coat I really liked somewhere on campus once and couldn't find it; it wasn't expensive, but I really liked it and couldn't find a similar one for sale. Even went to the local police department and asked them if they found anything.
> A year later it suddenly appeared in our office, with people having no idea where it came from. It was one of the most mysterious things in my entire life.
> 
> Sometimes people just make nice gestures like this. It is common in my office room, when, when we find some food that nobody wants, we put it on someone's table. Although putting a sandwich in a grocery bag without telling anyone is quite strange, indeed. :um


Lol I'll go back and get something if I forgot it. It's only a 5 minute drive for me to get to work. And I'll go back to take clothes back if I have to. I've done it like three times but usually I keep my clothes. But the whole city itself is huge, so it's a good thing I live close to work. I wouldn't mind driving farther to work if I'm making good money. 

That is strange. Haha. Well, at least it came back. :b Yea, I think I'd want it back too if it was that nice. It was worth it to find it, though.

That's a good thing. There's some good people out there. Some people at my job are like that. They'll ask if you want any of their food. 9 times out of 10 I say no but I took some gum twice from two different people recently.

Lol Yea, it was odd. She was talking to another coworker when she said she didn't know who it belonged to. I didn't think she'd give it to me. After I realized she gave it to me when I got home, I wondered why she didn't ask me first. But seems like she knew from the start it wasn't mine. :stu Haha, guess it's just as strange as your coat story.


----------



## Maslow

Now I'm full. We had some leftover barbeque and I didn't want it to go bad, so I ate it all. :lol


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

tea111red said:


> try melon? or those electrolyte packets in water?


Yea, I probably will try those. I kind of splurged and bought a watermelon Tropicana drink, though. But I'm not going to drink too much of it. I've been back and forth between that and water.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired and grumpy. :bah


----------



## Crisigv

Not good at all


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired and in need of a pre-bedtime snack.


----------



## versikk

Deaf Mute said:


> Suicidal holy ****. Why do I keep torturing myself by looking at their lives... but it's a test, I want to be able to look without getting upset and envious and jealous and breaking down and wanting to cut my wrists and slit my throat.
> 
> I want to be happy too, I hate having to have an ugly upbringing, like why am I even here? It's so disappointing and tragic, I hate being a regurgitation. I really resent my parents, I'm miserable. Like why tf did you f***ing put me here for what? This is ****, you don't even look after me properly, I was so lacking in my youth and development. There's still problems now that you're not even trying to fix properly, it's too f***ing late holy **** I hate this.
> 
> I just want to have a modest life like my colleagues, of course everyone has problems but they can overcome them. Not like the mountains of negatives in my family, it's hard to breathe. I can't think of a single category where things are good, just the bare minimum... I'm breathing still. FML
> 
> I really just want to not exist, I I hatem myself so much i hate myself so much i hate myself so much i hate myself so much i need ****ing love, no one has loved me. not even my parents who youre supposed to trust, youre born dependent on them whether they're ****ing geniuses or plain trash. i need affection, i need love but no one will love a stitched together creature.
> 
> i hate everything about myself,. nothing but perfection can make up for everything that's happened and going to happen to me in this miserable life .. i dont have enough to do that though
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I wish I had something that was special that no one could take away from me, but everything has been taken from me, I'm stripped to the bone. No one loved and cared for me, I'm nothing.


Are you sure you hate yourself, and not just your existential circumstances?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Suchness

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Tired and in need of a pre-bedtime snack.


What was your snack of choice?


----------



## harrison

Angry. There's something terribly wrong with me. When someone offends me or someone I care about I want to rip their face off.

I should stop talking to these people via Whatsapp from different cultures. Hard to read their real meaning and impossible to find someone from your own socio-economic background. **** them.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Unwanted and lonely as usual.


----------



## Deaf Mute

versikk said:


> Are you sure you hate yourself, and not just your existential circumstances?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's both since my existential circumstance is tied to being genetically related to them (my parents) as well. I can't not hate myself because I'm related, and because I'm their ****ty "creation" that they didn't tend to but stomp on and make even more ugly. *So I do, hate myself. *

The only way for me not to hate myself is for me to be another person entirely, but that means 'I' don't exist in the first place which is good also. I feel trapped like I don't own anything, my body for example, it's their property... it limits my imagination and all the things I want to do. But that I with imagination is another I, the Ideal I that is not the "I" I hate, it's the "I" that is an entirely different person which is not me. So I ****ing hate myself lol because I can never be the "I" I don't hate.

I have different aliases I use when I'm forced to interact with people irl and that gives temporary relief because I feel like I can get away identity-wise from my lineage, but everything comes back to my limitations in the end which destroys whatever new image I created for myself. And then that name becomes ugly and corrupted and I have to come up with new ones.

I just want to be blank slate and be my own person but I can't. A lot of my personality traits were formed from trauma and negative experiences as with most people. I hate being trapped by other people as well, I like to have all sorts of friend groups and knowing all kinds of people but that's just not possible with what I have...






I'm an Asian minority and stereotyped a lot over here, I can't fit into either communities though since I'm a minority of both Asian and Caucasion... People box me in all the time though without even knowing who I am or speaking to me directly.

I'm an ugly creature that doesn't quite register within other peoples syntax <--- not the right word but I don't know how else to explain..


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Suchness said:


> iAmCodeMonkey said:
> 
> 
> 
> Tired and in need of a pre-bedtime snack.
> 
> 
> 
> What was your snack of choice?
Click to expand...

A small bowl of cereal.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Woke up with a headache. :mum


----------



## Suchness

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> A small bowl of cereal.


Very good.


----------



## TheForestWasDark

content. sad happy and mad all at the same time.


----------



## Graeme1988

Shadowweaver said:


> Hey now, we all get angry every now and then over minor things. No shame in it.  :rub Take it humorously!
> 
> Here is a funny one:


:eek :teeth


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Suchness said:


> Very good.


I am a cereal killer. >


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I have a slight headache and think I might be getting a sore throat.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Unwanted and lonely as usual.


:hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I have a slight headache and think I might be getting a sore throat.


Vitamin C helps with sore throats. Also keeping yourself, throat warm. Scarf, hottie bottle or similar should help to keep throat warm. Also fluids help, like pure orange juice.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.

Lots more to do.


----------



## Suchness

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Tired.
> 
> Lots more to do.


Don't do too much.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Suchness said:


> Don't do too much.


Thanks mate.

I do sometimes do too much. :b


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Lonely and horny.


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable, I want to die. Getting closer and closer to the edge.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

:hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :hug
> 
> Vitamin C helps with sore throats. Also keeping yourself, throat warm. Scarf, hottie bottle or similar should help to keep throat warm. Also fluids help, like pure orange juice.


Ah, okay. I'll try that. Too hot for a scarf, though. Going to buy some orange juice then.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Outcast, alien, etc


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Ah, okay. I'll try that. Too hot for a scarf, though. Going to buy some orange juice then.


It is like when singing, drinking water helps.

But if have a cold, vitamin C or orange juice helps to boost immune system.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Canadian Brotha said:


> Outcast, alien, etc


:rub


----------



## CNikki

Like a waste of space.

Just like any other day.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Like a waste of space.
> 
> Just like any other day.


:hug:squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

CNikki said:


> Like a waste of space.
> 
> Just like any other day.


:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Thanks mate.
> 
> I do sometimes do too much. :b


Now sore.


----------



## 3stacks

Worthless


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Worthless


Some clothes, makeup and revaluation (joking).  :b

What I'm saying in my on way is dress up, as sometimes makes one feel better.

Stay strong mate.


----------



## 3stacks

Mondo_Fernando said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Worthless
> 
> 
> 
> Some clothes, makeup and revaluation (joking).
> 
> What I'm saying in my on way is dress up, as sometimes makes one feel better.
> 
> Stay strong mate.
Click to expand...

 &#128578;


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> &#128578;


Not sure what that means, as don't have the translator handy, but you're welcome.


----------



## Fun Spirit

3stacks said:


> Worthless


Why do you feel worthless?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tipsy, lonely, and horny.



3stacks said:


> Worthless


  :rub

Stay strong my friend.


----------



## andy1984

cold... brrrrrrr


----------



## Suchness

Had about three hours sleep, so tired now.


----------



## SparklingWater

Amused and annoyed. Should've worked out at 5 or 6 this morn like I meant to. Now I'll do it this evening and then be annoyed to do it tomorrow morn. But guess that's not too bad, ideally I'd like to work out twice a day. It wakes me up in the morn and really knocks me out at night. Best sleep is after a good workout.


----------



## AllGlad

I wish that society would just recognize me...


----------



## Citrine79

Gloomy like the weather...cool and raining again here, this has been the worst spring I can remember and it is really affecting my mood. Also, getting antsy because I have to do one of my least favorite things today...go to the grocery store.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired after a long day out with mother.


----------



## CNikki

Nauseated. Nice way to end my crappy of a weekend...


----------



## SunshineSam218

Right now I'm feeling relaxed.


----------



## SparklingWater

Physically uncomfy. Bit headachey. Spent way too much of today staring at screens. What a waste.


----------



## blue2

Like a tellytubby that needs some tubby tustard : /


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A bit impatient. I have a couple things I need to get done on my day off that have been put off for awhile cause of other things.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ugh, I can feel my bedtime loneliness coming around again.


----------



## BeautyandRage

I feel lonely and lovey. I always feel this way when sleepy. When I’m low on sleep I feel almost as if I’m drunk. I feel happy and good and loving when I get like this.


----------



## Protozoan

My life is aimless and I'm just doing the bare minimum to survive.


----------



## CWe

Really low :/


----------



## SplendidBob

Incredibly irritable, again.

Nagging health problem, and I just can't get away from people making noise constantly around me. I just want peace and quiet for a few days. These few days were meant to be for me de-stressing after my last bit of coursework, but it's ended up being a massive stress fest because of other people. 

Just ****ing shut up, stop making noise and pestering me.


----------



## harrison

Not too bad considering the weirdo shrink I just had to spend an hour with. Good grief - where do they get these people? All I can say is I hope he can find an appropriate medication for himself one day. Wow.

Luckily my wife called just after I got out of there so I could debrief with her. She wanted to come in next time and have a go at him but I don't want to see him again. Will have to try and find another one - but the money they charge and the chances of them being just plain rude or weird makes that slightly less than appealing.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Not too bad considering the weirdo shrink I just had to spend an hour with. Good grief - where do they get these people? All I can say is I hope he can find an appropriate medication for himself one day. Wow.
> 
> Luckily my wife called just after I got out of there so I could debrief with her. She wanted to come in next time and have a go at him but I don't want to see him again. Will have to try and find another one - but the money they charge and the chances of them being just plain rude or weird makes that slightly less than appealing.


So he used the head shrinking technique? :O

Saves on eating lots of food I guess (joking).


----------



## blue2

harrison said:


> Not too bad considering the weirdo shrink I just had to spend an hour with. Good grief - where do they get these people? All I can say is I hope he can find an appropriate medication for himself one day. Wow


......Sounds like he should have been paying you for the session :lol


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> So he used the head shrinking technique? :O
> 
> Saves on eating lots of food I guess (joking).





blue2 said:


> ......Sounds like he should have been paying you for the session :lol


Yeah, he was strange. I don't even have very high expectations anymore - which is sort of sad in itself, I've had a few hopeless ones. But you expect them to at least be vaguely empathetic. This guy was like a cold fish - with a few mental health issues probably of his own.

When I was an inpatient I remember thinking to myself - Heaven help you if you're really sick, because these guys won't be able to. Unfortunately now I actually am sick - and they're still just as hopeless.


----------



## Citrine79

Monday...ugh!!! Not much work to do and it feels more like October than June...45 degrees this morning. Been feeling pretty down lately, even moreso today.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## PandaBearx

Anxious & a bit tired.


----------



## Graeme1988

Really wishing I’d taken my own life when ah wus 16... F__kin’ tired of having to tolerate my dysfunctional family. 

Always having to be :afr on edge when interacting with ‘em.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling a bit lonely.


----------



## Crisigv

Bad. Every day I am getting worse. I don't wake up with any hope in the morning.


----------



## SparklingWater

Bleh, super gross. I truly feel like **** if I'm not doing enough. Not enough contact with pple. Not enough to put my mind to. Honestly 2 days of nothing is way tooo long. A human need is to participate, engage, belong (if you're not completely shut off from your feelings and needs that is.) I'm really feeling it these days when I don't do enough. I mean, yay for healing, but noticing needs means you have to fulfill them and **** if I know how. 

Also I really hope my tire just needs a bit of air and isn't going flat. Cannot deal rn.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Headache, cramps, depressed, trapped, hopeless... should be a real fun day. :bah


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PandaBearx said:


> Anxious & a bit tired.


 :hug :squeeze



Graeme1988 said:


> Really wishing I'd taken my own life when ah wus 16... F__kin' tired of having to tolerate my dysfunctional family. :sad
> 
> Always having to be :afr on edge when interacting with 'em.


 :rub



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feeling a bit lonely.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Headache, cramps, depressed, trapped, hopeless... should be a real fun day. :bah


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## Graeme1988

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub


Thanks... I guess. :blank


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@iAmCodeMonkey Thanks for the hug.  I feel a bit better now.


----------



## harrison

Might be a bit of a migraine coming on but I think I'll go to the libraries anyway. Yesterday was depressing with that wanker so I need to get back to normal and do something I like.


----------



## Crisigv

Tired, before my overnight shift. This should be fun.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yeah, he was strange. I don't even have very high expectations anymore - which is sort of sad in itself, I've had a few hopeless ones. But you expect them to at least be vaguely empathetic. This guy was like a cold fish - with a few mental health issues probably of his own.
> 
> When I was an inpatient I remember thinking to myself - Heaven help you if you're really sick, because these guys won't be able to. Unfortunately now I actually am sick - and they're still just as hopeless.


They sometimes do have problems themselves like antisocial personality disorders. I have seen doctors, shrinks like that. Scary as they don't follow safety protocols when don't like the patient. Like having a kid as a doctor.



harrison said:


> Might be a bit of a migraine coming on but I think I'll go to the libraries anyway. Yesterday was depressing with that wanker so I need to get back to normal and do something I like.


Could be stressed out, muscles tighten up in neck and get a headache. Distract one self from those thoughts with looking at a object in a room and tighten, release muscles in neck, back. Fell the difference when stressed, tight and when not. That is what I learnt in a course on dealing with destress.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Tired, before my overnight shift. This should be fun.


Wish you the best at work.

Stay strong.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feeling a bit lonely.


I hope it passes. Try talking to someone, anyone. Sometimes is the brain saying to socialize.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PandaBearx said:


> Anxious & a bit tired.


I hope you feel better after some sleep.


----------



## tea111red

well, whatever. being hated on here and someone being anxious to delete my posts and ban me is a probably a blessing in disguise.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> well, whatever. being hated on here and someone being anxious to delete my posts and ban me is a probably a blessing in disguise.


What happened? I feel like I missed something, but I have a couple sections on ignore.


----------



## 3stacks

@tea111red :hug I'd find this site much crapper without you on it


----------



## tea111red

SamanthaStrange said:


> What happened? I feel like I missed something, but I have a couple sections on ignore.


lol, i just said it wasn't cool to disrespect someone's beliefs (it seemed like the person was trying to antagonize the guy.....most regulars know he is a strong believer and that his beliefs help out a lot in life) and apparently that is considered starting conflict. :stu whatever. my post got deleted. i saw some other people quoted me, too, but i didn't see them. probably people *****ing at me or something. :stu

i saw someone started some thread that seemed to be based off my post, too. i didn't even read most of that thread. i don't need to potentially be stressed out. i need another break from this site, i think. if i'm not banned for talking about this anyway, lol.

whatever.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> Headache, cramps, depressed, trapped, hopeless... should be a real fun day. :bah


Is the Tea helping?

I hope your day gets better.

Away cramps, shooo. Leave sammy alone. Grrrr at cramps.

Lets hope cramps doesn't hiss like that swan did. :b

Something for Sammy to brighten her mood today.


----------



## tea111red

3stacks said:


> @tea111red :hug I'd find this site much crapper without you on it


thank you....that's sweet of you to say. :squeeze i think i need to take a break again, though, lol. i feel on edge and more anxious.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

tea111red said:


> lol, i just said it wasn't cool to disrespect someone's beliefs (it seemed like the person was trying to antagonize the guy.....most regulars know he is a strong believer and that his beliefs help out a lot in life) and apparently that is considered starting conflict. :stu whatever. my post got deleted. i saw some other people quoted me, too, but i didn't see them. probably people *****ing at me or something. :stu
> 
> i saw someone started some thread that seemed to be based off my post, too. i didn't even read most of that thread. i don't need to potentially be stressed out. i need another break from this site, i think. if i'm not banned for talking about this anyway, lol.
> 
> whatever.


This post might get deleted again but all I said to you in a quote was that I didn't think what they said was disrespectful and that some people believe what they said, then I posted this wikipedia link:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantheism

Another poster quoted you and started ranting about religious people but I can't remember exactly what he said but it wasn't really targeted at you from what I remember more just insulting religious people.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@iAmCodeMonkey @Mondo_Fernando

Thanks for the replies.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SamanthaStrange

You're welcome.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

tea111red said:


> lol, i just said it wasn't cool to disrespect someone's beliefs (it seemed like the person was trying to antagonize the guy.....most regulars know he is a strong believer and that his beliefs help out a lot in life) and apparently that is considered starting conflict. :stu whatever. my post got deleted. i saw some other people quoted me, too, but i didn't see them. probably people *****ing at me or something. :stu
> 
> i saw someone started some thread that seemed to be based off my post, too. i didn't even read most of that thread. i don't need to potentially be stressed out. i need another break from this site, i think. if i'm not banned for talking about this anyway, lol.
> 
> whatever.


Oh. Differing beliefs is definitely a big source of conflict between people. Hopefully it all settles down soon. Take a break if you need to. :squeeze


----------



## 3stacks

tea111red said:


> thank you....that's sweet of you to say. :squeeze i think i need to take a break again, though, lol. i feel on edge and more anxious.


That's understandable. Gotta do what's best for your mental health but you would definitely be missed around here. Hope you feel better soon!


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> They sometimes do have problems themselves like antisocial personality disorders. I have seen doctors, shrinks like that. Scary as they don't follow safety protocols when don't like the patient. Like having a kid as a doctor.


Yeah he was a funny fellow. Very poor communication skills plus I felt like I was almost defending myself at times. Like I was having to justify my diagnosis of bipolar from my last psychiatrist. I felt like saying listen mate I'm 60 years old - I don't need all this nonsense, I just want someone to help me for God's sake. You tell these people the most personal things that have ever happened to you and then they sit there like a cold fish with no response. No connection at all with him.

I actually just had a nice conversation with one of the ladies at the reception to cancel the next appointment. It's a shame because the practise itself has a nice relaxed vibe, and they were very nice ladies. But he was odd - gave me the creeps tbh.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yeah he was a funny fellow. Very poor communication skills plus I felt like I was almost defending myself at times. Like I was having to justify my diagnosis of bipolar from my last psychiatrist. I felt like saying listen mate I'm 60 years old - I don't need all this nonsense, I just want someone to help me for God's sake. You tell these people the most personal things that have ever happened to you and then they sit there like a cold fish with no response. No connection at all with him.
> 
> I actually just had a nice conversation with one of the ladies at the reception to cancel the next appointment. It's a shame because the practise itself has a nice relaxed vibe, and they were very nice ladies. But he was odd - gave me the creeps tbh.


Could have antisocial personality disorder, as if have SA, you can pick up on them. They see us as threats and why they target us.

Some deal with people with antisocial personality disorder, so they learn to act that way (cold), so don't get taken advantage of.

Some are confrontational shrinks and the most annoying ones from my experiences.

Only had one that was good, would encourage but not force and wasn't cheap. Was making progress until switched to confrontational shrink. Like going from heaven to hell and nearly did something silly until found another doctor and started making my own progress.

Good to hear you had a nice chat with the ladies. I guess I can see why you said bad communication skills, as went from him to those ladies who most likely had good communication skills.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@*SamanthaStrange*

You're welcome.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Could have antisocial personality disorder, as if have SA, you can pick up on them. They see us as threats and why they target us.
> 
> Some deal with people with antisocial personality disorder, so they learn to act that way (cold), so don't get taken advantage of.
> 
> *Some are confrontational shrinks* and the most annoying ones from my experiences.
> 
> Only had one that was good, would encourage but not force and wasn't cheap. Was making progress until switched to confrontational shrink. Like going from heaven to hell and nearly did something silly until found another doctor and started making my own progress.
> 
> Good to hear you had a nice chat with the ladies. I guess I can see why you said bad communication skills, as went from him to those ladies who most likely had good communication skills.


Very interesting mate. Yes I think this guy was heading that way a bit too. I felt a little on the defensive from the moment I sat down. Just had an uncomfortable vibe there. And he was actually a bit rude a few times - and very dismissive of what I was saying. I told my wife a few of the things he said and I'd better not say what she said I should have told him to do. 

I could never handle a confrontational one - I would get too upset and then very angry with them. I have problems with that. I can't see how that helps anyone anyway tbh. I feel like I need someone I feel comfortable with so I can tell them all the things that have really been hard lately - and all the feelings I don't really even understand.

But with a person like that you just start to shrink up and want to defend yourself. Its almost like you should be apologising for having that diagnosis and then spend the next 6 months trying to convince him it's correct. I don't have the energy for all that - it would just upset me too much and I don't need it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Very interesting mate. Yes I think this guy was heading that way a bit too. I felt a little on the defensive from the moment I sat down. Just had an uncomfortable vibe there. And he was actually a bit rude a few times - and very dismissive of what I was saying. I told my wife a few of the things he said and I'd better not say what she said I should have told him to do.
> 
> I could never handle a confrontational one - I would get too upset and then very angry with them. I have problems with that. I can't see how that helps anyone anyway tbh. I feel like I need someone I feel comfortable with so I can tell them all the things that have really been hard lately - and all the feelings I don't really even understand.
> 
> But with a person like that you just start to shrink up and want to defend yourself. Its almost like you should be apologising for having that diagnosis and then spend the next 6 months trying to convince him it's correct. I don't have the energy for all that - it would just upset me too much and I don't need it.


I can imagine the Italian hot attitude, confrontation, laughing style in Italian.

Like this.






Sounds like a personality disorder or confrontational. Obviously there are many types of shrinks and have to find the one that works with SA and is encouraging but not pushy. Usually they are experienced (worked for government or similar and then into private practice), well known in the shrink community.

Some people can be just lazy and need a military / parent type of attitude which a confrontational shrink has. But if have SA, learnt that it was the worst idea to use a confrontational shrink.

Also you being older than them, independent type, don't need the parent type of shrink me thinks.

Look around and look at experience, testimonials, as usually tells one to go or not. Avoid ones straight out of school until they gain experience.


----------



## SpartanSaber

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Meh, just meh.


:hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SpartanSaber said:


> :hug


Man, that was an old post you quoted, but thanks anyways.


----------



## CWe

Tired as hell because I haven't slept yet and my heart won't stop racing because of it


----------



## donistired

Alone, numb, tired, and have nothing to do with myself but lay in my bed sleepless. At least I'm not angry/irritable, my usual state of being when I'm by myself and think about my life too long.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Don said:


> Alone, numb, tired, and have nothing to do with myself but lay in my bed sleepless. At least I'm not angry/irritable, my usual state of being when I'm by myself and think about my life too long.


:rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

This song is beautiful, makes me. :crying:


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, depressed.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

In physical pain, but I'm gonna be strong.


----------



## Jornean

surprisingly well, I'm happy.


----------



## Crisigv

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Wish you the best at work.
> 
> Stay strong.


Thanks, I survived


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Thanks, I survived


You're welcome.

Good to hear that you survived.


----------



## SparklingWater

I love my journal! I like my new therapist so that's awesome. Feeling better today, thank goodness. Hopeful.


----------



## harrison

I think I'm still in a vague state of shock. Talking to weirdo cyborg shrink the other day sort of gave me a surprise. What amazes me is that these are the people we're supposed to take advice from on our mental health. Jesus.

I think most of the time I was just sitting there with my mouth open wondering what the hell was going on.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored. Depressed.


----------



## harrison

SamanthaStrange said:


> *Bored*. Depressed.


I'm bored too. You know you're life's a bit quiet when the highlight of your day is renewing you're library items. :roll

I think I might have to stop my medication again just to spice things up a bit.


----------



## SpartanSaber

Lonely, tired hopeless and just numb. I lay in bed pretty much every day - it's hard to wake up for work in the morning every day I don't think that I will never get better, no matter how hard I try. 

I have lost every bit of faith in myself that I will never be successful growing up nor make my family proud, I'm just a lazy unmotivated individual. I really hate myself.


----------



## CWe

Feeling a little better compared to yesterday and the day before


----------



## Maslow

I feel like a complete waste of space. I went to the bank and could barely speak because of anxiety and I think I acted weird. And then I bought something from a guy who advertised it on Craigslist and felt like a complete freak. I hate dealing with people.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So I knew something would keep me from driving to work today seeing as I got everything done for the vehicle that I needed to get done. It's that bad luck again. 

One of the dogs decided she wanted to go to work with me. I was frustrated more than anything and did not find it cute at the time at all. I didn't want to be late to work and didn't want to push her out cause I can't get my work clothes dirty. So I still had to get a ****ing ride today. She's never done this with other people in the neighborhood so why me? I can't ever catch a break. Didn't care that my neighbor saw me getting frustrated. Now I'm going to have to get up at 8 in the morning just to make sure I have extra time to walk to work if I have to. Hopefully she won't be stubborn getting her out. That is if she does get in. Ugh.


----------



## harrison

Maslow said:


> I feel like a complete waste of space. I went to the bank and could barely speak because of anxiety and I think I acted weird. And then I bought something from a guy who advertised it on Craigslist and felt like a complete freak. I hate dealing with people.


You're definitely not a waste of space mate - you have an anxiety disorder. Sorry to hear you had those experiences - I used to have them too, all the time. My anxiety seems to be a bit different now and I don't get as bad in just regular everyday situations. I don't put myself in ones that cause me anxiety though - so there's that as well.

And talking of freaks, you couldn't possibly be as bad as the shrink I saw the other day. And he was charging a couple of hundred bucks an hour.


----------



## Shadowweaver

Starting my 3 week long road trip tomorrow! Going to Salt Lake City, then I'll drive around Utah, Nevada, Arizona and California for 2 weeks, then back.

Can't wait! These road trips are what my life is for. :boogie


----------



## BeautyandRage

I feel calm, but in the back of my head I’m annoyed at some situations.


----------



## Suchness

BeautyandRage said:


> I feel calm, but in the back of my head I'm annoyed at some situations.


You're a calm beauty.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted, depressed, hopeless


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Canadian Brotha said:


> Exhausted, depressed, hopeless


Stay strong my friend! :rub


----------



## BeautyandRage

Horny


----------



## BeautyandRage

Still annoyed tho


----------



## BeautyandRage

Mad as hell @scooby said I looked like an ugly man


----------



## scooby

BeautyandRage said:


> Mad as hell @*scooby* said I looked like an ugly man


Lies and slander. I said you were a top chick and I'd give you a high five.


----------



## BeautyandRage

scooby said:


> Lies and slander. I said you were a top chick and I'd give you a high five.


U literally said I look like Michael Jackson with my new nose job


----------



## BeautyandRage

I hope ur apnea gets u tonight @scooby


----------



## Maslow

harrison said:


> You're definitely not a waste of space mate - you have an anxiety disorder. Sorry to hear you had those experiences - I used to have them too, all the time. My anxiety seems to be a bit different now and I don't get as bad in just regular everyday situations. I don't put myself in ones that cause me anxiety though - so there's that as well.
> 
> And talking of freaks, you couldn't possibly be as bad as the shrink I saw the other day. And he was charging a couple of hundred bucks an hour.


What was he doing that was so weird?

He might have been a freak, but he must have had decent self-esteem to be able to charge that much and get people to pay it. It's all about how you feel about yourself -- not so much what others think about you. I feel okay about myself when I'm not around other people. Or when I'm not ruminating. Or doing anything that reminds me of how much of an outcast I am.


----------



## mistylake

My depression monster is back.


----------



## 8888

Content

Sent from my XT1526 using Tapatalk


----------



## CAKE!

Hopeful. Intermittent fasting is going well so far.


----------



## harrison

Maslow said:


> What was he doing that was so weird?
> 
> He might have been a freak, but he must have had decent self-esteem to be able to charge that much and get people to pay it. It's all about how you feel about yourself -- not so much what others think about you. I feel okay about myself when I'm not around other people. Or when I'm not ruminating. Or doing anything that reminds me of how much of an outcast I am.


Well, I was just sort of angry - he probably isn't any more of a freak than many of the others. He was slightly rude and dismissive, so that's what set that off.  At the time though you always sort of wonder whether this person is actually being a prick or not - and of course whether you should respond.

My wife called straight after I got out of there though which was good - so I could tell her a few of the things he said. She said just tell him to f off. (she can be nice in person - it's just not good to upset her) 

He was just sort of creepy. Quite old, tall, hunched over, very soft-voice, very strange way of asking questions, non-responsive, lacking in any empathy, extremely poor communication skills, stuff like that. He gave me the willies from the moment I sat down. I felt a bit like I was on the defensive all the time - which is odd because he was quiet - but he managed to speak when he wanted to be a bit rude. (maybe that's just how he talked but he can't do that with me)


----------



## The Linux Guy

My heart is beating fast. Feels like my blood pressure might be up.


----------



## SofaKing

Hopeless...I'm wagering nothing is going to work out to my satisfaction.


----------



## harrison

SofaKing said:


> Hopeless...I'm wagering nothing is going to work out to my satisfaction.


Have you heard about the land deal yet mate? How's that going?


----------



## SofaKing

harrison said:


> Have you heard about the land deal yet mate? How's that going?


Still working on it. There's complications still. Part of my predicted hopelessness.


----------



## harrison

Maslow said:


> What was he doing that was so weird?
> 
> He might have been a freak, but he must have had decent self-esteem to be able to charge that much and get people to pay it. It's all about how you feel about yourself -- not so much what others think about you. *I feel okay about myself when I'm not around other people. Or when I'm not ruminating. Or doing anything that reminds me of how much of an outcast I am.*


Yes I understand mate. Well, you've got your wife who obviously loves you - that's something. I'm not sure what to say about the outcast bit because I think it's a bit different for me - with me I do it to myself. I isolate myself and push people away. (at the moment anyway) I think I've just been trying to deal with everything that's been happening lately - so I don't actually want all the added stress of more people in my life. I know I can get them if I want them though, which is different.

You sound like a good bloke mate - people probably just misunderstand you and misinterpret what your saying because you're anxious. That's how it seems to me anyway. I have actually experienced that a couple of times too and it's horrible.


----------



## harrison

SofaKing said:


> Still working on it. There's complications still. Part of my predicted hopelessness.


There's always somewhere else mate. If it falls through you can always find another place - or even do something else entirely. The financial freedom you have gives you a lot of options. (I'm not meaning to be dismissive of your problems though obviously)


----------



## The Linux Guy

horny..


----------



## donistired

Panicky, I've got a knot in my stomach. I've got my first job interview Friday. A part of me doesn't want the job too. I'm scared I can't handle it. I'm not very smart, I'm kinda slow both mentally and physically, and I'm afraid of the impression I'll make on people or that I'll f up in the first week. I don't want to have to smile for an interview, impress a person, or portray myself with confidence as I'd believe none of it. Wish I could work at home, just haven't been able to land anything like that.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I slept like a doctor yesterday morning and just wasn't in a very good mood at work.

But now I feel sort of refreshed. Don't think I got 2 whole hours of sleep. So I caught up on sleep last night and my sleep for today all at once, which probably isn't the best sleeping pattern but oh well. Still only got like 5 hours of sleep yesterday but got enough sleep for today.


----------



## Maslow

harrison said:


> You sound like a good bloke mate - people probably just misunderstand you and misinterpret what your saying because you're anxious. That's how it seems to me anyway. I have actually experienced that a couple of times too and it's horrible.


That's me in a nutshell. People think I'm a jerk, but I'm just scared of people. That's the thing people don't understand about SAD: anxiety makes you act weird. I don't even think most therapists understand that.


----------



## sanpellegrino

Wanderlust. Dreaming of travel. When you have time on your hands your imagination goes into hyper drive.


----------



## harrison

Remarkably calm and settled. I think I probably need to stop being a dickhead and just try to keep taking this stupid medication. Maybe this dose is okay - I hope so. At the moment all the agitation and rage is gone which is a relief. It's exhausting.


----------



## CNikki

Wouldn’t say afraid, but ruminating over what could go wrong by tomorrow. I’m sure some people who stumble upon this may know why.


----------



## Memories of Silence

Like I'm a horrible person because I keep hurting someone because I wasn't sure what to do. They want to meet me much sooner than I'm comfortable with and won't say no to waiting longer. I didn't realise how attached to me they were going to get.


----------



## harrison

Silent Memory said:


> Like I'm a horrible person because I keep hurting someone because I wasn't sure what to do. They want to meet me much sooner than I'm comfortable with and won't say no to waiting longer. I didn't realise how attached to me they were going to get.


That doesn't make you a horrible person at all - they need to realise how much of a big deal it would be for you to meet up with them.


----------



## Memories of Silence

harrison said:


> That doesn't make you a horrible person at all - they need to realise how much of a big deal it would be for you to meet up with them.


They seemed nice but kept pressuring me and making me uncomfortable, so I blocked them. They weren't understanding and kept telling me I broke their heart and treated them badly.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm not sure. I feel unliked I guess. Haven't had friends since 5th grade. After that it's just been acquaintances. Then all throughout HS, I didn't even have acquaintances. 

Now that I work, I have some acquaintances that it sadly feels like I accomplished this major thing even though I have no friends. I don't get it cause I talk more. :/ Am I just this unlucky? Am I meant to not have friends? All I've ever been is nice. What have I done to deserve this? I'm trying to be positive but all I can think is I'm just one of those people that no one wants to be friends with. Just acquaintances and nothing more. :sigh


----------



## Citrine79

Unhappy with my work situation at the moment and I am coming to the realization that I am going to have to speak up for myself sooner than later. I am uncomfortable and anxious about doing it but I don’t have a choice as I don’t like what I am doing right now.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Silent Memory said:


> Like I'm a horrible person because I keep hurting someone because I wasn't sure what to do. They want to meet me much sooner than I'm comfortable with and won't say no to waiting longer. I didn't realise how attached to me they were going to get.


Probably attached with the idea of you (online), but most never really know until meet each other in real life at say a neutral location, public place and can read their facial expressions, habits, etc.



Silent Memory said:


> They seemed nice but kept pressuring me and making me uncomfortable, so I blocked them. They weren't understanding and kept telling me I broke their heart and treated them badly.


Sounds like they are projecting their issues onto you, or being manipulative.

Usually following your intuition as to something was wrong is best.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm not sure. I feel unliked I guess. Haven't had friends since 5th grade. After that it's just been acquaintances. Then all throughout HS, I didn't even have acquaintances.
> 
> Now that I work, I have some acquaintances that it sadly feels like I accomplished this major thing even though I have no friends. I don't get it cause I talk more. :/ Am I just this unlucky? Am I meant to not have friends? All I've ever been is nice. What have I done to deserve this? I'm trying to be positive but all I can think is I'm just one of those people that no one wants to be friends with. Just acquaintances and nothing more. :sigh


Just most have different personalities, things like to do, etc, which makes it hard to click as friends (I found even peer pressure can change things like that).

Takes sometimes meeting hundreds of people until find someone that are compatible with friend wise. Can be discouraging, but sometimes find the gem in the rough as they say (not sure if those are are the best words to use).

But I think they are missing out on getting to know a great person. Their loss.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Physically sore, tired, lonely.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Just most have different personalities, things like to do, etc, which makes it hard to click as friends (I found even peer pressure can change things like that).
> 
> Takes sometimes meeting hundreds of people until find someone that are compatible with friend wise. Can be discouraging, but sometimes find the gem in the rough as they say (not sure if those are are the best words to use).
> 
> But I think they are missing out on getting to know a great person. Their loss.


Or they think I'm a paranoid weirdo. :stu

But yea. That's possible, too. I just need to get to know some more people. I have a really hard time with girls, though. Guys are easier to be friends with. I want to try to be friends with girls, too though but they make me more nervous. I tried talking to one girl awhile back but I don't think she likes me as a friend.

I'll just keep trying.  Yea, their loss.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Or they think I'm a paranoid weirdo. :stu
> 
> But yea. That's possible, too. I just need to get to know some more people. I have a really hard time with girls, though. Guys are easier to be friends with. I want to try to be friends with girls, too though but they make me more nervous. I tried talking to one girl awhile back but I don't think she likes me as a friend.
> 
> I'll just keep trying.  Yea, their loss.


I think because you are more of a tom boy, so need a girl that is more a tom boy too to actually get how each other works. Or at least has brothers or sisters.

Like the bash brothers in hockey, as they think alike.






Keep trying, you can do this Purple.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Silent Memory said:


> They seemed nice but kept pressuring me and making me uncomfortable, so I blocked them. They weren't understanding and kept telling me I broke their heart and treated them badly.


You did the right thing sweetie. &#128578;


----------



## Maslow

I feel like life would be much easier if I were rich. I wouldn't have to deal with so many people unless I wanted to. I'd buy an entire city block, put a big fence around it, and probably never leave. :lol


----------



## Shadowweaver

I just keep getting harrassed by wild animals throughout the whole trip. 😉 Not that I mind, but maybe I should watch my back from now on.

Feeling amazing! Being alone in the nature, not worrying about anything and just taking in the views, or listening to cool music while highwaying, does wonders to your health.


----------



## 3stacks

Shadowweaver said:


> I just keep getting harrassed by wild animals throughout the whole trip. &#128521; Not that I mind, but maybe I should watch my back from now on.
> 
> Feeling amazing! Being alone in the nature, not worrying about anything and just taking in the views, or listening to cool music while highwaying, does wonders to your health.


 Looks nice! I wish I was somewhere like that.


----------



## harrison

Silent Memory said:


> They seemed nice but kept pressuring me and making me uncomfortable, so I blocked them. They weren't understanding and kept telling me I broke their heart and treated them badly.


Need to be so careful with people online - as they can be very different to how they actually present themselves. (but I'm sure you see a lot of that being a mod and would know more about the people on here than I would)


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> Looks nice! I wish I was somewhere like that.


How are things going with you mate? I was just wondering how you are.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Need to be so careful with people online - as they can be very different to how they actually present themselves. (but I'm sure you see a lot of that being a mod and would know more about the people on here than I would)


 @silentmemory

Second what he said.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I think because you are more of a tom boy, so need a girl that is more a tom boy too to actually get how each other works. Or at least has brothers or sisters.
> 
> Like the bash brothers in hockey, as they think alike.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Keep trying, you can do this Purple.


Hmm, maybe. I never saw myself as a tomboy, though. I'm just nervous around girls cause I feel like they judge me more. Idk why.


----------



## harrison

Knackered. I think it's this medication. I think it's that that's making me light-headed outside too. I didn't even think of it before but that's probably it.


----------



## Memories of Silence

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Probably attached with the idea of you (online), but most never really know until meet each other in real life at say a neutral location, public place and can read their facial expressions, habits, etc.
> 
> Sounds like they are projecting their issues onto you, or being manipulative.
> 
> Usually following your intuition as to something was wrong is best.


They seemed a little bit too interested and were going to come here from an hour away just so we could walk past each other. I'm not going to feel bad about it anymore.


iAmCodeMonkey said:


> You did the right thing sweetie.


Thanks. 


harrison said:


> Need to be so careful with people online - as they can be very different to how they actually present themselves. (but I'm sure you see a lot of that being a mod and would know more about the people on here than I would)


I know, but they didn't understand any of that. One message was "Even if you feel uncomfortable, you do it anyway. That's how life works. It's not like I'm asking you to perform surgery or something. I'm asking you to spend time with another human being."

I'm glad I blocked him now.


----------



## harrison

Silent Memory said:


> I'm glad I blocked him now.


Yeah, sounds like a good idea.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Hmm, maybe. I never saw myself as a tomboy, though. I'm just nervous around girls cause I feel like they judge me more. Idk why.


When you mentioned guys liking more than girls it kind of pointed towards a tomboy. Other part I think you mentioned, was when sometimes like dressing up like a girl would (girly clothes), but liked men like clothing. But that can be taken many ways depending on who is interpreting it, so I could be way off base.

Sometimes clothes, way one acts makes a difference to what they attract.

I have seen women get very picky about that with men, so women with other women, might not be any different.



harrison said:


> Knackered. I think it's this medication. I think it's that that's making me light-headed outside too. I didn't even think of it before but that's probably it.


I hope it subsides and feel better.



Silent Memory said:


> They seemed a little bit too interested and were going to come here from an hour away just so we could walk past each other. I'm not going to feel bad about it anymore.


There were warning signs not to go there. I was just saying a person doesn't get to know someone else until being with them in real life. Online you don't see habits, facial expressions that say are up to no good. They can put on a good act online, so don't see it coming.

But in saying that have dealt with people like that where act bad online for cruel kicks (not joking in the normal way, just being nasty), but seemed so normal in real life. But could see the online behaviour a little bit if touch on certain subjects, but hid it very well in real life.

I remember this woman where she met a guy offline (bully) and was just as horrible offline as when online.

One guy I met offline I already met offline beforehand and was a nice person.

I guess get many types of people online.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando I guess I mean I'm a mixture of both tomboy and girly girl. There's a lot of guy stuff I don't like but yea. I guess I'm a bit tomboyish when it comes to talking to dudes.

Maybe it's just cause I have an inner ghetto woman inside of me, too. 0


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando I guess I mean I'm a mixture of both tomboy and girly girl. There's a lot of guy stuff I don't like but yea.


Women look good in women suits which is sort of man looking. But also look good in skirts too. Design of clothing makes a difference.

Funny thing is some men (like brothers) complain after women (like sisters) wear their clothing, as say they leave bumps behind if know what I mean (chest area). Makes one wonder, does T-shirts for women take that into account? :stu



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I guess I'm a bit tomboyish when it comes to talking to dudes.


You would blend in quite well. Having sisters might have helped with those communication skills.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Maybe it's just cause I have an inner ghetto woman inside of me, too. 0


Maybe that might help (not sure). :stu


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Maybe that might help (not sure). :stu


:haha

Who knows? I get fist bumps at work by this one guy. :lol Life is just hilarious sometimes.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> :haha


You are not telling me something, spill on the one one in the hood (joking). :b



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Who knows? I get fist bumps at work by this one guy. :lol Life is just hilarious sometimes.


You just became one of the bro's, no way.

Also he has respect for ya if fist bumped ya.

What happens if become a basic bro?

Woah. :O :lol

Could be stage 4 if make sandwich jokes with the girls (didn't someone on here say that joke, no way they did). :tiptoe :lol


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You are not telling me something, spill on the one one in the hood (joking). :b
> 
> You just became one of the bro's, no way.
> 
> Also he has respect for ya if fist bumped ya.
> 
> What happens if become a basic bro?
> 
> Woah. :O :lol
> 
> Could be stage 4 if make sandwich jokes with the girls (didn't someone on here say that joke, no way they did). :tiptoe :lol


Lol Either way, I like the fist bumps. Makes me feel like I'm part of the cool club.  And like my social skills have sort of come a long way since I started working.

Haha. If they did, I missed it or didn't notice. xD Was it you? :grin2:


----------



## Eleonora91

I've been doing consistently worse during the last week or so (also because of a procedure I had last Tuesday), it's been harder to control my anxiety, and all I can do is stay calm and hope it will get better. Sometimes it does, so that's all I can do, but I'm not liking it right now.


----------



## Eleonora91

Silent Memory said:


> They seemed nice but kept pressuring me and making me uncomfortable, so I blocked them. They weren't understanding and kept telling me I broke their heart and treated them badly.


Very clingy and pushy. The feeling should be mutual so there are some red flags to me. Also if you haven't known someone for a long time saying that you broke their heart and such seems like passive-aggressiveness.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Hopeful but not Hopeful at the same time and my body and hands are being stupid again and not doing what I want. AMG I hate being a perfectionist towards certain things...

I feel like that's life balancing things out though - the perfectionism, like if I don't do something perfect or proficiently I won't be able to do it at all because *I lack so much*, whereas others can get away with faultiness because *they have so much*... so they can be carefree and not worry so much about every inch of movement and breath and just 'being' in general... Even if they're **** or mediocre heaps of people still love them for who they are and they can do other things, but not me. There is nothing for me if I'm not perfect, I will be worthless. :blank

I need to be close to perfect to be at the same level as normal people, then I will have a modest life afterwards probably.. hopefully...


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol Either way, I like the fist bumps. Makes me feel like I'm part of the cool club.  And like my social skills have sort of come a long way since I started working.


You are one of the bro's, exclusive club for women (just joking). :b



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Haha. If they did, I missed it or didn't notice. xD Was it you? :grin2:


Wasn't me.

A way to man's heart is through sandwiches.

Damn it, stage 4 basic bro I've now become. :b :lol


----------



## CWe

Full after stuffing my mouth with fire burning Takis


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You are one of the bro's, exclusive club for women (just joking). :b
> 
> Wasn't me.
> 
> A way to man's heart is through sandwiches.
> 
> Damn it, stage 4 basic bro I've now become. :b :lol


:lol


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable and tired


----------



## Persephone The Dread

bad


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> :lol


 :b



Crisigv said:


> Miserable and tired


:hug


----------



## 3stacks

Eleonora91 said:


> I've been doing consistently worse during the last week or so (also because of a procedure I had last Tuesday), it's been harder to control my anxiety, and all I can do is stay calm and hope it will get better. Sometimes it does, so that's all I can do, but I'm not liking it right now.


 You're gonna feel better soon matey :hug


----------



## SofaKing

Having a bit of an episode tonight...seems to come with another weekend of doing pretty much nothing. Extending a pointless existence seems wasteful.


----------



## blue2

Like fat Elvis 😞


----------



## WillYouStopDave

CNikki said:


> Confused. Weary. Tired.
> 
> Hearing the occasional train whistle since I live near a train stop is giving a hint of temptation.


 Resist that. Try to get some sleep. Being tired does not help with confusion. I think more clearly when I'm rested. :hug


----------



## Shadowweaver

3stacks said:


> Looks nice! I wish I was somewhere like that.


Thanks! I'd say these trips require a lot of carelessness and, some would say, plain craziness - but they are well worth it. &#128578; It is possible to travel nearly for free, with the exception for the gas prices, but the level of comfort obviously drops along with the expenses. Being very cold, very hot, very wet, sometimes very hungry is something you have to deal with regularly, but on the flip side you get to see things most people never experience.
I suppose you can even avoid gas expenses if you go on a bicycle, but then you need a few months off work to really visit a lot of places.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired after physical exercise.


----------



## SparklingWater

Bit tired.


----------



## Eleonora91

3stacks said:


> You're gonna feel better soon matey :hug


Hope so man! It's been up and down recently
On the bright side it's not always been bad at least


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, hungry, spaced out


----------



## SofaKing

Every week I call my parents. Every week it's obvious that I have nothing to report beyond that I'm still breathing. 

This isn't worth it.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel really at ease, at peace and warm.


----------



## donistired

"Big oof"


----------



## Lockinte

A little sad but my mood is at the top of the highest hight


----------



## SparklingWater

Angry


----------



## rdrr

frustrated and a little upset at others


----------



## Citrine79

Frustrasted about a lot and super anxious at work today. I dislike the task that was given to me (not in my field of expertise) and I have to ask questions about it and I am nervous and uncomfortable doing so. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Worried and impatient. Still haven't gotten it in the mailbox. What is taking so goddamn long. I'm tired of this.


----------



## funnynihilist

Blah


----------



## Graeme1988

Suicide is looking like a more viable option... 

They don’t seem to giving a flying f__k that’s it’s me huvin to put up with arguments, day in day oot.

But then again, ah wus raised in a matriarchal household surrounded by c_nts, or women to use the correct term, who frequently rant to me about how useless men were. Failing to see the irony, of course. 

Hate ma life... if my disability and my codependent, misery cow of a mother weren’t hindering me, I’d be living on by own.


----------



## CNikki

Tired. Too many factors involved...


----------



## Crisigv

Suicidal


----------



## Care2018

very hopeless


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Easily annoyed. Headache. Lonely. Tired of life.


----------



## SparklingWater

Bored, frustrated and impatient.


----------



## harrison

Sleepy - I think I'd better go back to bed. Had to take some of my medication again because I felt like my head was going to explode. Jesus Christ what a feeling.


----------



## CNikki

Not even sure at this point. All I know is that my legs are acting up again.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Care2018 said:


> very hopeless


:hug:squeeze


SamanthaStrange said:


> Easily annoyed. Headache. Lonely. Tired of life.


:hug:squeeze


SparklingWater said:


> Bored, frustrated and impatient.


:hug:squeeze


CNikki said:


> Not even sure at this point. All I know is that my legs are acting up again.


:hug:squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy. I've had a headache all day at work and ran out of painkiller. Tired and sore.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

My eyeball aches. Time for my eye drops again tonight. Lol.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Had a dream I was back in school and it was horrible... the cliques, bullying, alienation etc, this time I had a bit more intelligence though and decided to just not go back to school and not care if my parents had to pay fine.

Then when I woke up I got depressed because I was thinking about old school life and memories that I stupidly went through instead of just wagging like I should have...


----------



## andy1984

a bit nauseous. had 2 pretty strong coffees. i've been weird lately, sleeping a lot, dreaming a lot, living in the twilight zone. not been concentrated enough to do any coding. mostly just fantasizing and thinking and navel-gazing. whats up with me?


and no one is responding to my sudden neediness. its probably a bad time of day, 5:30pm. either working or eating or bla.


----------



## SparklingWater

3am and I'm awake. I don't think of myself as insomniac, but if I look back at least the last year this has been a pattern. Maybe even longer. I'll fall back asleep usually another 2hrs or so. I feel this weird hazy tired. Not totally ready to wake up but can't fall back asleep. Too much unused energy or unprocessed feelings keeping me up from the day before. Anywho, so feeling tired, sad and avoidant of pple I have to see tomorrow and some info I want to read that's overwhelming for me.


----------



## Citrine79

Bored, uninspired, lackluster. Super unhappy with my job right now and knowing that nothing will change with it. Starting to have thoughts about quitting.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Pissed. You horrible piece of **** drughead. You're not going to wake me up at 5:30 in the morning to sweep when there was barely even any dirt there. One day I will stand up for myself to you. How dare you treat me like filth. Good thing I refused to get up when you ****ing yelled at me.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel this sudden burst of positive energy. I feel like I can do anything because I am Spiritually Powerful. I just need to tap into it.

I better enjoy this feeling because it will eventually wear off and I will be back to my neutral self of not thinking too much on this.


----------



## CWe

Tired and exhausted. Just want to not feel this way anymore


----------



## The Linux Guy

Tired and Concerned.


----------



## Maslow

I feel like I'm over-the-hill, so to speak, and just doing time before I checkout.


----------



## Crisigv

I hope to die some time soon. I'm pointless.


----------



## SplendidBob

Very deflated, fatigued and low mood. Starting to feel very trapped again .


----------



## The Linux Guy

I just had a very short conversation, and now I feel worse.


----------



## harrison

Fairly stable so far but the day is still young. :roll


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Crappy. Every day for a long time, I've thought about dying.


----------



## funnynihilist

I've felt depleted all year. Like the psychic energy has left my body. I feel like a husk of a person.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Crappy. Every day for a long time, I've thought about dying.


Awww. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Crappy. Every day for a long time, I've thought about dying.


:hug:squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

Annoyed that I didn't die today.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Annoyed that I didn't die today.


:sigh :hug


----------



## Fun Spirit

: ) For Everyone: )
:yes


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@iAmCodeMonkey Thanks for the hug. Feeling down in the dumps.  I feel a tad better but not much. 
@Mondo_Fernando Yea, it sucks. Thanks for the hug.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Fun Spirit said:


> : ) For Everyone: )
> :yes





PurplePeopleEater said:


> @iAmCodeMonkey Thanks for the hug. Feeling down in the dumps.  I feel a tad better but not much.
> 
> @Mondo_Fernando Yea, it sucks. Thanks for the hug.


You're welcome.

Maybe Fun's flower might help? :stu :sigh

Sometimes thinking of other things more positive distract's one from life's issues and naturally calm down.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Fun Spirit said:


> : ) For Everyone: )
> :yes


What she said. 



PurplePeopleEater said:


> @*iAmCodeMonkey* Thanks for the hug. Feeling down in the dumps.  I feel a tad better but not much.


No problem, and I hope that you feel more than a tad better soon. Chin up sweetie.


----------



## TheForestWasDark

zesty


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@iAmCodeMonkey Haha, chin up.  That made me smile.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @*iAmCodeMonkey* Haha, chin up.  That made me smile.


I am glad that made you smile, darling. :blush


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> Maybe Fun's flower might help? :stu :sigh
> 
> Sometimes thinking of other things more positive distract's one from life's issues and naturally calm down.


Well, it's a pretty flower and a cute bee. 
@iAmCodeMonkey :blush


----------



## jordani

New here. Going to work now. Nothing has happened and I am anxious and afraid of everything in advance.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Well, it's a pretty flower and a cute bee.


There is the old Purple, where is she been hiding?  :b


----------



## A Summer In Texas

Uneccessary.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> There is the old Purple, where is she been hiding?  :b


Lol :grin2: Yea, I guess I'm back now.


----------



## sanpellegrino

Stressed. Back in the dorm with aggravating residents. Arguing and causing a scene for no reason. I hope I don't have to deal with this for much longer. Such negative people.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol :grin2: Yea, I guess I'm back now.


:yay


----------



## blue2

:troll


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel drain, tired and off and yet that is the when my Mom and my Sister want my company. If only they knew how I'm feeling. I just want to lie dowwwwn. I'm not feeling it. lol. I have to pretend to be alert and attentive.


----------



## SparklingWater

Annoyed


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :yay


:yay:yay

Relieved after buying some chapstick to put around my lips. It started feeling more rough and it hurt to smile today. It says it has aloe vera oil in it so I would think it would help with the sandpaper feeling. Not sure that would make a difference but I know a cheap chapstick probably wouldn't help.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> :yay:yay


:yay



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Relieved after buying some chapstick to put around my lips. It started feeling more rough and it hurt to smile today. It says it has aloe vera oil in it so I would think it would help with the sandpaper feeling. Not sure that would make a difference but I know a cheap chapstick probably wouldn't help.


Sounded like the symptoms of cold sore. Maybe stressing over issues is causing it to happen? :stu


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :yay
> 
> Sounded like the symptoms of cold sore. Maybe stressing over issues is causing it to happen? :stu


Nah. It's an allergic reaction to chips I ate. It's all around my lips and not visible. It might have been the spice in them.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Nah. It's an allergic reaction to chips I ate. It's all around my lips and not visible. It might have been the spice in them.


Spicey metaballa? :O :b

I hope it goes away after a few days.


----------



## Ckg2011

like a stupid loser. :bash :cry


----------



## The Linux Guy

Stupid and very messed up.


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Nah. It's an allergic reaction to chips I ate. It's all around my lips and not visible. It might have been the spice in them.


I wouldn't jump to conclusions, unless it happens again. The Human body can act very strange.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Spicey metaballa? :O :b
> 
> I hope it goes away after a few days.


Lol I really don't remember the name. It wasn't a popular brand. I guess it was an off brand. I bought them only three times and they came in a red bag. I bought them cause they were spicy and BBQ flavor. Thought it sounded good together. I'm not much of a chips person but every now and then I'll eat them. I do like cheese puffs but I don't consider them chips since they don't have a crunch to them. Those are like the only ones I eat and I have eaten sun chips but haven't had them or cheese puffs in a long time.

Thanks.  Should take a few days. The chapstick I bought is oddly satisfying to take off the long top that goes on it. It comes off smoothly. Guess I'm easy to please. :stu lol


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I_Exist said:


> I wouldn't jump to conclusions, unless it happens again. The Human body can act very strange.


Hmm. Yea, true. I don't think it's a scary allergic reaction so it wouldn't worry me if it was one. I've had worse. Believe me. Lol I've had fries from McDonald's and when I ate them, my throat felt like it was swelling on the inside. I could feel a drop in my blood pressure for like 5 seconds and felt dizzy. Bread does it to me, too. Must be some ingredient in all those things that causes my blood pressure to drop for a few seconds. I haven't passed out from it or anything. But clearly not worth eating.


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Hmm. Yea, true. I don't think it's a scary allergic reaction so it wouldn't worry me if it was one. I've had worse. Believe me. Lol I've had fries from McDonald's and when I ate them, my throat felt like it was swelling on the inside. I could feel a drop in my blood pressure for like 5 seconds and felt dizzy. Bread does it to me, too. Must be some ingredient in all those things that causes my blood pressure to drop for a few seconds. I haven't passed out from it or anything. But clearly not worth eating.


Lately I've been having trouble with fast food, and sometimes bread. For some reason it upsets my stomach.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol I really don't remember the name. It wasn't a popular brand. I guess it was an off brand. I bought them only three times and they came in a red bag. I bought them cause they were spicy and BBQ flavor. Thought it sounded good together.


Could be way off the mark, but sounds like Tortilla chips.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm not much of a chips person but every now and then I'll eat them. I do like cheese puffs but I don't consider them chips since they don't have a crunch to them. Those are like the only ones I eat and I have eaten sun chips but haven't had them or cheese puffs in a long time.


Twisties or Cheezels are some of the other cheese options.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks.  Should take a few days. The chapstick I bought is oddly satisfying to take off the long top that goes on it. It comes off smoothly. Guess I'm easy to please. :stu lol


You're welcome.

Usually after 24 hours allergic reactions start to go away, especially if flush the body of toxins with water that cleans body out. Orange juice works too.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Could be way off the mark, but sounds like Tortilla chips.
> 
> Twisties or Cheezels are some of the other cheese options.
> 
> You're welcome.
> 
> Usually after 24 hours allergic reactions start to go away, especially if flush the body of toxins with water that cleans body out. Orange juice works too.


Lol :laugh: Nope. The texture of the chip was like Ruffles or whatever they're called and the chips were the color of BBQ chips. I guess like an orangeish red color?

Cheezles. Lol I notice some chips have cheesy sounding names. :b

Yea, I drink water and low calorie fruit drinks. It should clear up soon.


----------



## Crisigv

Happy and relieved. What a great birthday gift! Go Raptors!!!


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired, time for bed soon. Sometimes I wish it was forever, but that is not rational. I don't want your pity.


----------



## Scaptain

Bored as a mother****er.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol :laugh: Nope. The texture of the chip was like Ruffles or whatever they're called and the chips were the color of BBQ chips. I guess like an orangeish red color?


Now going have to play guess the chips game. :b

Anyone reading this want to guess / help?

I'm guessing Lay's barbecue flavoured potato chips?



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Cheezles. Lol I notice some chips have cheesy sounding names. :b


They taste nice. :b



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Yea, I drink water and low calorie fruit drinks. It should clear up soon.


Crossing fingers that it does.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Happy and relieved. What a great birthday gift! Go Raptors!!!


Happy Birthday. 

Raptors tickets? :O


----------



## jordani

Motivation is at the bottom. I don't want to do stuff today and just go home. Ifeel tired of everything.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Now going have to play guess the chips game. :b
> 
> Anyone reading this want to guess / help?
> 
> I'm guessing Lay's barbecue flavoured potato chips?
> 
> They taste nice. :b
> 
> Crossing fingers that it does.


Haha. It's not a popular brand. They might just sell them locally. I tried looking it up on Google but couldn't find them. Those chips must have poison in them. Jk.

I'd remember if they were Lay's, though.

They sound nice. Thanks. I'm sure it will go away. I'd be surprised if it didn't. :O


----------



## Fun Spirit

I'm feeling like WTF just now.
That's it. I'm officially declaring myself an Empath. These feelings aren't mines.


----------



## Citrine79

Cranky, uncomfortable and not busy at work yet again. More awful weather as well.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Haha. It's not a popular brand. They might just sell them locally. I tried looking it up on Google but couldn't find them. Those chips must have poison in them. Jk.


Probably a brand we don't get down here.

Many herbs and spices? :O



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'd remember if they were Lay's, though.


I noticed get many brands of chips in the states compared to here. Here the supermarkets are probably like a dairy where you are, so get less selection wise on the shelves. Many people people from the states complain a bit about lack of selection on shelves when move downunder. :b



PurplePeopleEater said:


> They sound nice.


They are nice-ish.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks. I'm sure it will go away. I'd be surprised if it didn't. :O


You're welcome.

Hope it does.


----------



## SparklingWater

* *




Frustrated and angry. It's not abt how it looks. Jesus. How is it actually? How does it feel? I've lived my life hypnotized by pple who don't even acknowledge that anything is below the surface. Does it look good? How do others perceive it? That's all that matters. Smile for the camera. Give me something to brag abt. Who the **** are these pple that what they think abt me actually matters more than how I experience something?

It's my life and how I feel abt **** matters. So they get to be impressed, but I feel like ****? No. They don't matter. It's so sad and telling. If someone else is there we'll put on a big celebration, if it's just us we're not doing anything. Put on the celebration for yourself or not. Not for them to look and say wow they put on a celebration. Sheesh. I'm the one who matters now. This is my life and I'm not gonna die worrying abt if someone thought it looked nice enough. We're all equal. They make mistakes, they ****, they will die and decompose just like me. I'm the only one who can live for me and it's my responsibility to make a life that I enjoy. I'm sorry, but I've opted out. I just can't care anymore.


----------



## BeautyandRage

Anxious because the movers won’t move our stuff. Fuuuuckkk. 

Also sad thinking about yesterday, I was crying because I had a flashback of some abuse I endured as a kid and I have pretty bad ptsd from all that.


----------



## 3stacks

Pretty crap


----------



## komorikun

Waiting for my headache to go away. Taking PTO today. Woke up late, so of course I have the usual *weekend morning headache*. Think it's due to caffeine withdrawal.

Already took ibuprofen, aspirin, and am now on my 2nd cup of coffee.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Long sigh! Why do I got to keep living!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel that if I died nobody here would miss me.


----------



## harrison

I_Exist said:


> I feel that if I died nobody here would miss me.


That's not true mate - we'd miss you, especially after our conversation today.

What's actually more important is is there anyone in real life you can talk to? That's probably more important than who may or may not miss you on a forum.


----------



## The Linux Guy

harrison said:


> That's not true mate - we'd miss you, especially after our conversation today.
> 
> What's actually more important is is there anyone in real life you can talk to? That's probably more important than who may or may not miss you on a forum.


This is a very big thing that nobody understands about me. I like computers but I hate the internet. For me the internet is the last resort. I know it would be better to talk someone in person. But I don't have anyone to talk too. It's so bad that once in a while I'll try to talk to people at work, even though I know that I'm taking a risk doing so. When I try to talk to my parents about it, they just go on like it doesn't matter. They don't understand what I deal with mentally and I don't have anyone else to turn too. I think this is proof that there really is a devil who singles out some people, to torment them.

I DON'T TALK TO PEOPLE ABOUT SEX AT WORK, THAT'S A BIG NO NO THERE. I do sometimes express that I'm experiencing depression, when it's so bad that I can no longer keep it to myself.


----------



## The Linux Guy

BeautyandRage said:


> Also sad thinking about yesterday, I was crying because I had a flashback of some abuse I endured as a kid and I have pretty bad ptsd from all that.


:squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

I'm really lonely. It was my birthday and I should feel good, but instead I feel so horrible.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I'm really lonely. It was my birthday and I should feel good, but instead I feel so horrible.


Awww. :hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Unsure. Felt like I got weird looks at the gas station earlier. Even the woman working there looked like she gave me a weird look. Probably just overthinking again.


----------



## andy1984

not too good about myself. bailed on an event I was meant to go to.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Okay-ish, having a snack before bed. Hope everyone is doing well.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Unsure. Felt like I got weird looks at the gas station earlier. Even the woman working there looked like she gave me a weird look. Probably just overthinking again.


Can relate. Looking at happens to me a lot too, especially if in a crowd at lights, etc.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Can relate. Looking at happens to me a lot too, especially if in a crowd at lights, etc.


Yea, it's silly in a way. Haha. It's one of the main things we deal with when we have SA I guess. I think it could also be my tattoo cause it was showing but didn't notice them looking at my arm. And maybe because I had a slight smudge of mascara from when I wiped it off earlier. Forgot about it until I got home. It was barely there, though. Or they could've just simply been looking at me cause I walked in.


----------



## harrison

Crisigv said:


> I'm really lonely. It was my birthday and I should feel good, but instead I feel so horrible.


Happy Birthday anyway. Hope you're feeling a bit better soon.


----------



## SpartanSaber

Sad and lonely.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Yea, it's silly in a way. Haha. It's one of the main things we deal with when we have SA I guess. I think it could also be my tattoo cause it was showing but didn't notice them looking at my arm. And maybe because I had a slight smudge of mascara from when I wiped it off earlier. Forgot about it until I got home. It was barely there, though. Or they could've just simply been looking at me cause I walked in.


With SA we tend to notice things like that more than most would.

Can be many things from what we wear, hair out of place, etc. Unless ask them, wouldn't know.


----------



## harrison

A bit tired and a slight headache. Had a little nap and woke up feeling a bit disorientated - I hate it when that happens. Takes you a while to get your bearings again.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> A bit tired and a slight headache. Had a little nap and woke up feeling a bit disorientated - I hate it when that happens. Takes you a while to get your bearings again.


Lets hope haven't spun a bearing (engine joke to try and distract you from thinking about it). :b

I hope you feel better with some time.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Going out, lots of anxiety thinking about it.

Fudge the cake, harden up matey. :b

Time to go.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Lets hope haven't spun a bearing (engine joke to try and distract you from thinking about it). :b
> 
> I hope you feel better with some time.





Mondo_Fernando said:


> Going out, lots of anxiety thinking about it.
> 
> Fudge the cake, harden up matey. :b
> 
> Time to go.


Thanks mate - hope you have a good time anyway whatever you're doing.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - hope you have a good time anyway whatever you're doing.


You're welcome mate.

I had a goodish time, random people looking at me when passing by. One guy gave the thumbs up. A nice looking younger woman just stopped and starred at me. Awkward moment if have SA.


----------



## CNikki

Right now I'm pretty pissed. Overall, I'm 'trying' to have ways to cope with the spiraling of being depressed and anxious that has been going on for at least a week, but what I'm doing isn't enough. Thinking about the overall scheme of things that inevitably will keep me in this type of despair is just...draining. I wish someone in real life just cared. But no. It has to be all smiles if not silence.

I really try not to think this way, but it's just too much. I can't any longer.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> I'm feeling better in this regard today but I have a little headache.


Good to hear that you feel a little better. I hope the headache goes away.



CNikki said:


> Right now I'm pretty pissed. Overall, I'm 'trying' to have ways to cope with the spiraling of being depressed and anxious that has been going on for at least a week, but what I'm doing isn't enough. Thinking about the overall scheme of things that inevitably will keep me in this type of despair is just...draining. I wish someone in real life just cared. But no. It has to be all smiles if not silence.
> 
> I really try not to think this way, but it's just too much. I can't any longer.


:sigh :hug


----------



## Fun Spirit

Exhausted. I overdid it with that exercise workout. I walk around like I'm broke up.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome mate.
> 
> I had a goodish time, random people looking at me when passing by. One guy gave the thumbs up. A nice looking younger woman *just stopped and starred at me*. Awkward moment if have SA.


Not good for the anxiety but good for the self-esteem.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Not good for the anxiety but good for the self-esteem.


Someone said I had nice hair, so that must have been why.  :b


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Someone said I had *nice hair*, so that must have been why.  :b


I still think it might be time for a haircut soon mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I still think it might be time for a haircut soon mate.


Haven't been to one in years. I do my own hair.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Haven't been to one in years. I do my own hair.


I just meant might be a good idea to visit the one you mentioned before - where the girl was looking at you through the window.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

:mushy :sigh

Can't believe she is nearly 50, wow.

Like roughly around 39 in that video clip. :O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I just meant might be a good idea to visit the one you mentioned before - where the girl was looking at you through the window.


Just too anxious to go near one.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That I like this song.






:yes


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Just too anxious to go near one.


Maybe it would get a bit easier after a few tries mate - I actually used to find it almost impossible to go to the hairdresser's when I was in my 20's. My anxiety must have been at it's worst or something because I remember having to work myself up to it for ages. I was just too embarassed with all the good-looking girls in there - and those bloody mirrors so your staring straight at yourself. God it was horrible.

After a while it got a lot easier for some reason - I have no idea why. And now I'm older I actually really enjoy it - all I have to worry about nowadays is not talking too much because I often get a bit manic when I'm there. It's crazy.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Maybe it would get a bit easier after a few tries mate - I actually used to find it almost impossible to go to the hairdresser's when I was in my 20's. My anxiety must have been at it's worst or something because I remember having to work myself up to it for ages. I was just too embarassed with all the good-looking girls in there - and those bloody mirrors so your staring straight at yourself. God it was horrible.
> 
> After a while it got a lot easier for some reason - I have no idea why. And now I'm older I actually really enjoy it - all I have to worry about nowadays is not talking too much because I often get a bit manic when I'm there. It's crazy.


The place she worked was for high end customers so to speak (area where rich people, celebrities live), so a dress standard / code applies.

I'm more a westy style, road worker dress type, so doesn't work in places like that. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison

Basically this is me dress style.






Yeah, I joke around like that too. :lol

I can't take life seriously. :lol


----------



## Crisigv

Like worthless garbage that should be thrown away.


----------



## SparklingWater

Tired


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Like worthless garbage that should be thrown away.


More like a diamond that should be kept and looked after.



lily said:


> Thank you.  I probably need a lot of rest but not too much.


You're welcome.

I hope you get that rest.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SparklingWater said:


> Tired


I hope you feel better after some sleep.


----------



## wittyusernamehere

Lost.

I'm in my early 20's now and I'm starting to think more about where and who I want to be in life and it's low key stressing me out.


----------



## SparklingWater

Sad. I have goals I need to hit by 35. I cannot do this into my 40s, 50s and 60s. I refuse. It has to change. If it doesn't I give myself permission to be done with this **** hole life.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> The place she worked was for high end customers so to speak (area where rich people, celebrities live), so a dress standard / code applies.
> 
> I'm more a westy style, road worker dress type, so doesn't work in places like that. :b


Maybe that's what she liked about you mate? Never know.

Some women love that - my own sister did/does. And she grew up in a nice area - she picked guys that were very different to her, let's put it that way.


----------



## SofaKing

I'm running out of strength.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> I'm running out of strength.


:rub


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Envious. Lonely. Depressed.


----------



## CNikki

Like the 60% Irish DNA in me wants to come out and let the neighbors have it.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Envious. Lonely. Depressed.


:hug:squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Thank you  it could've been the wind yesterday that gave me the headache or it could be something else I did that I have to adjust.


You're welcome.

Sometimes can be lack of sleep, eyestrain, sleeping on the wrong angle, stress causes tight neck, back muscles to name a few causes. Tai Chi might help with muscles.



harrison said:


> Maybe that's what she liked about you mate? Never know.
> 
> Some women love that - my own sister did/does. And she grew up in a nice area - she picked guys that were very different to her, let's put it that way.


Don't know. :stu



SamanthaStrange said:


> Envious. Lonely. Depressed.


Envious of @Suchness? Is he getting all the attention again?

@A Toxic Butterfly

What is going on here? :b

Sorry sammy, toxic, such, being cheeky today. :b

Chin up sammy, stay strong. :hug



CNikki said:


> Like the 60% Irish DNA in me wants to come out and let the neighbors have it.


Inner Popeye? :O


----------



## Deaf Mute

Emo, thinking of the past again and how so badly I wish I could do things differently, I feel so ugly and trash atm. :/ Practice has been bipolar too and I have to re-calibrate everything again for like the 994593th time... I wanna skip to the good bits already, I feel so ****ty, I can't believe how unaware I used to be of things, it sucks so much. 

I was such a dumb POS, and then now it's like I'm grieving for the past because before it was all blocked out. Idk how I can live with myself honestly lol, I hate this :S I just wanna be a different person, I hate myself.

I hate how life is too, and how all your choices and pathways are mostly already pre-determined, that includes how others treat you and what you can even say to people too. It's ironic that you can be a ****ty person to people but end up happy still with a great life, or a messed up unstable individual trying to get away from it all and stay miserable because you tried to escape instead of ****ing playing. 

It's all just ****ed up, and then on TV you see underpriviledged people/children and feel more **** for complaining, but it's nauseating because I've seen both sides. You can't really enjoy anything, the higher up you (I) go, the darker it gets, the lower you (I) go it's just plain ****. 

**** me I don;'t want to be alive...


----------



## harrison

Like I'm only taking about half my medication - which is about right. You can sort of feel it there building inside you like you're going to ****ing explode.


----------



## Graeme1988

Wondering why I even bother anymore ?

Can't even do what I want without having to hear and listen a discouraging remark from my mother, who rarely has anything good to say. She does'nae even bother to answer me when I ask why she so f__kin' negative aw the time. Just laughs it off n' say: _"Oh, ah did'nae mean it...!"_ Yet, the moment I say anything cynical or negative, ah get told: _"...dinnae say that ! Ye should'nae think like that"_ :bash


----------



## harrison

Tired and a bit of a headache after the mania last night.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Tired and a bit of a headache after the mania last night.


I hope you feel better later on mate.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I hope you feel better later on mate.


Thanks mate - feeling a lot better already. 

Hope you're having a good day.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A bit anxious for tomorrow. I'm sure I can schedule a doctor's appointment but I'm going to ask how much it would be for me without insurance since I don't have any. I'm guessing 200 dollars. Maybe a little over. As long as its less than 300. It'll be worth it but not looking forward to having to do bloodwork and all.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - feeling a lot better already.
> 
> Hope you're having a good day.


You're welcome mate.

Goodish so far, thank you for asking.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> A bit anxious for tomorrow. I'm sure I can schedule a doctor's appointment but I'm going to ask how much it would be for me without insurance since I don't have any. I'm guessing 200 dollars. Maybe a little over. As long as its less than 300. It'll be worth it but not looking forward to having to do bloodwork and all.


Can understand that. Needles, eek. :afr


----------



## sanpellegrino

Amused.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> The headache is gone now. hurray!


Are you sure. :sus :b

Good to hear that the headache has gone.


----------



## EarthDominator

Feel like losing it, both mentally and physically. I don't know what to do anymore :sigh


----------



## CNikki

Like all I want to do at this point is to just lay down and sleep for hours on end. Trying to fight this notion but it's only getting harder as the days go by.


----------



## donistired

A little lost. Feeling like I wasn't made to function in this world.


----------



## funnynihilist

Not so good


----------



## 3stacks

Not good enough


----------



## Fun Spirit

3stacks said:


> Not good enough


 You're good enough just the way you are 
And if you still believe not you can always improve yourself for the better. You should see yourself in a brighter Light.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A slight headache. Going to take some Ibuprofen. Guess it's from testing my GPS on my phone. Never used it before. Was trying to get to where I need to go Thursday so don't have to do it at the last minute. I feel more comfortable now that I know how to get there. It's actually pretty simple. Don't think I need to use it again when I go back.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Thank you


You're welcome.


----------



## SparklingWater

Mostly tired, little bit angry.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Not good enough


No, I'm not good enough. You are enough.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> A slight headache. Going to take some Ibuprofen. Guess it's from testing my GPS on my phone. Never used it before. Was trying to get to where I need to go Thursday so don't have to do it at the last minute. I feel more comfortable now that I know how to get there. It's actually pretty simple. Don't think I need to use it again when I go back.


:hug

There is always old school GPS, note on a compass and drive in the one direction.



SparklingWater said:


> Mostly tired, little bit angry.


:hug.


----------



## discopotato

Worthless.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Worthless.


No. Awesome and you know it girl. :yes


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feel like dancing to this 80's song.






And I am. :yes

Butt poke move.

Stinky legs move.

Crane move.

Walk move.

Guess what move is next? :O :lol

Ye ha. :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feels like one misses out if don't see them live.






Wow. :yes


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando lol Old school GPS. xD I think I like mine. It seems trustworthy enough.  I'll need it eventually around here.

I'm feeling like I should be in bed. Haha. I took a 4 hour nap and didn't even mean to. I left my notebook and pocketbook on my bed. That's how tired I was. Then my notebook fell off the bed and I woke up. I was half asleep when I heard it. :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando lol Old school GPS. xD I think I like mine. It seems trustworthy enough.  I'll need it eventually around here.


If in doubt and the new school GPS sends you up a one way street that is not finished, the old school GPS is always there.  :b



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm feeling like I should be in bed. Haha. I took a 4 hour nap and didn't even mean to. I left my notebook and pocketbook on my bed. That's how tired I was. Then my notebook fell off the bed and I woke up. I was half asleep when I heard it. :lol


Oh, no. I hope it didn't break.


----------



## Suchness

Sleepy.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Suchness said:


> Sleepy.


Go to bed!


----------



## Suchness

SamanthaStrange said:


> Go to bed!


I will when you stop talking to me.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> If in doubt and the new school GPS sends you up a one way street that is not finished, the old school GPS is always there.  :b
> 
> Oh, no. I hope it didn't break.


Haha, true.  I know how to get there from visual memory now, though. It's mostly like 4 turns and driving straight most of the way there.

Lol I don't think a notebook can break unless the pages tear.


----------



## Maslow

I wish I could see better. F-in' stigmatism. :mum


----------



## farfegnugen

pretty ****ty


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Haha, true.  I know how to get there from visual memory now, though. It's mostly like 4 turns and driving straight most of the way there.


Can go in a straight line with a few modifications.






Don't tell Purple that her ride was pimped out. :O



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol I don't think a notebook can break unless the pages tear.


I thought notebook computer. If said old school notebook. :b


----------



## SamanthaStrange

farfegnugen said:


> pretty ****ty


:squeeze I hope you feel better soon.


----------



## Kmarie92

Dejected


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Can go in a straight line with a few modifications.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Don't tell Purple that her ride was pimped out. :O
> 
> I thought notebook computer. If said old school notebook. :b


Lol That ride is blingin'. Haha, that's me backing up.

Ah, yea. I could see how you got that from notebook. Sometimes, the Internet is a confusing way to communicate. :b

I'm not very good with directions but I've sorta learned over the years paying attention when I ride. I prefer driving over riding. Being the passenger is kind of boring.


----------



## sanpellegrino

Resentment. As ever. I wish I cared more, but I don't. My inner sociopath is smiling.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol That ride is blingin'. Haha, that's me backing up.


What curb? Didn't feel it. :b

Power pole is just a fence post, no biggie small.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Ah, yea. I could see how you got that from notebook. Sometimes, the Internet is a confusing way to communicate. :b


Lucky that didn't think it was a movie. :b :lol



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm not very good with directions but I've sorta learned over the years paying attention when I ride. I prefer driving over riding. Being the passenger is kind of boring.


If riding, you have to do it with style. Arm out window and all.


----------



## discopotato

Mondo_Fernando said:


> No. Awesome and you know it girl. :yes


You're the awesome one


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> You're the awesome one


Pale in the sunshine shade that is the great you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That feel thou art not worthy to be in the shade of someone so great.


----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## Mondo_Fernando

This is making me.........






:crying:


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> I'm so bored right now  I have no sense of purpose except for online friends which I don't always talk to. I haven't got a call back from the social worker.


:squeeze  Sorry things aren't going good for you.

And it sucks when you don't get calls back for things. It can make you anxious just to wait for a call.


----------



## farfegnugen

SamanthaStrange said:


> :squeeze I hope you feel better soon.


Thanks. We definitely all could use a nicer start to the summer (or winter depending on location.)


----------



## Crisigv

Good mood, crushed


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Good mood, crushed


Sorry to hear. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling that Trey is a really good singer.






Shanice is like the female version of Trey singing wise (good singer).





 @harrison

That look I talked about with that blond is like at around 1:06+ in the Shanice clip.

Also I think have bumped into her multiple times, supermarket carpark, traffic lights, etc.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Angry


----------



## Deaf Mute

I am sad and I wanna not existing, why does everything have to be so disappointg


----------



## truant

I can't even say what I'm feeling. I'm at a point now where I can't even really talk to people anymore because of the way I feel. All my feelings are ugly and unacceptable.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> That look I talked about with that blond is like at around 1:06+ in the Shanice clip.
> 
> Also I think have bumped into her multiple times, supermarket carpark, traffic lights, etc.


Definitely a nice look to get mate. Maybe next time just say something - like hey aren't you the girl from the hairdresser?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Definitely a nice look to get mate.


It is nice if not feeling all that great, as think is just being friendly.



harrison said:


> Maybe next time just say something - like hey aren't you the girl from the hairdresser?


Like I said before, I think too young for me mate.

I think she is mistaking my age as I look younger (it happens if look younger).

Protective brother / father instincts kicking in and all that.


----------



## 0589471

I wish I were more tired. I need to get some sleep, I'm babysitting my goddaughter and her sisters early tomorrow morning. :sigh


----------



## blue2

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> I wish I were more tired. I need to get some sleep


 .. Exercise


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> I wish I were more tired. I need to get some sleep, I'm babysitting my goddaughter and her sisters early tomorrow morning. :sigh


I find thinking of happy moments in ones life helps to calm down enough to sleep. Try not to think of what is ahead. Easier said than done though.

In addition, set alarm to wake you up if have one.

Wish you the best with the babysitting.

You can do this, stay strong. :hug


----------



## SparklingWater

Feel so stuck. Frantically searching and clawing for a way out, but my mental health keeps blocking my path. Lots of progress, but it's happening at ****ing 15mph when I want to go 60.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> Thanks so much! Yes it does suck when you don't get calls back.


You're welcome. Good luck to you with the phone call.

I sometimes get stressed out with that kind of stuff. I know what it's like.


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> You're welcome. Good luck to you with the phone call.
> 
> I sometimes get stressed out with that kind of stuff. I know what it's like.


I probably only get a phone call, maybe 5 times a year?


----------



## 3stacks

Meh and by meh I mean terrible


----------



## SofaKing

Invisible...

Someone - what do you think we should do?

Me - We should do X

Person B - We should do X

Someone - Great idea Person B! Here's a promotion!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> Thank you! I will give it a week to see if she calls back


You're welcome again.  Hopefully it doesn't take that long. But things take time I suppose. Best we can do is wait.
@I_Exist :squeeze


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

SofaKing said:


> Invisible...
> 
> Someone - what do you think we should do?
> 
> Me - We should do X
> 
> Person B - We should do X
> 
> Someone - Great idea Person B! Here's a promotion!


That is crummy and unfair to you. :no


----------



## SofaKing

PurplePeopleEater said:


> That is crummy and unfair to you. :no


Thanks...I seem to have some characteristic to be marginalized, often.


----------



## CNikki

Apathetic. Let's hope it stays that way.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

SofaKing said:


> Thanks...I seem to have some characteristic to be marginalized, often.


I know it might not help much to say it but I'm sorry to hear that and that's just not right you have to go through that. Doesn't sound like a fair place to work at, that's for sure.


----------



## SofaKing

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I know it might not help much to say it but I'm sorry to hear that and that's just not right you have to go through that. Doesn't sound like a fair place to work at, that's for sure.


You're kind...I find this follows me regardless of employer. I guess something is simply offputting.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Invisible...
> 
> Someone - what do you think we should do?
> 
> Me - We should do X
> 
> Person B - We should do X
> 
> Someone - Great idea Person B! Here's a promotion!


Favoritism sucks.  :rub


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

SofaKing said:


> You're kind...I find this follows me regardless of employer. I guess something is simply offputting.


That must be crappy and humiliating getting ignored like that. And on top of that getting ignored at any workplace you're hired at. :/

I sort of went through something similar to that at my job not too long ago. I thought I was going to get a higher position but someone else got it instead.


----------



## Ckg2011

I'm feeling lonely and very sad. cry I wish I had a friend. A girlfriend would be nice but that will never happen. cry


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ckg2011 said:


> I'm feeling lonely and very sad. cry I wish I had a friend. A girlfriend would be nice but that will never happen. cry


 :rub


----------



## rdrr

Mentally, trying to get better day to day. To help it, I drastically changed my diet and exercise routine and feeling physically much much better.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am feeling a little lonely again tonight, had a good day today though. Mother and I went for a walk at a nearby park earlier this afternoon.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely.


----------



## Eleonora91

After a terrible period for my psychosomatic symptoms I am getting a little bit of rest on that front, still battling anxiety as I have my driving test next Monday. I am also going through a terrible body image phase where my self esteem is down to zero and I feel so fat. I'm trying to enjoy the aspects that are not bothering me right now but so many other things are being thrown at me that it's hard to really let go and feel better.


----------



## 3stacks

Ckg2011 said:


> I'm feeling lonely and very sad.  I wish I had a friend. A girlfriend would be nice but that will never happen.


 me too


----------



## SofaKing

PurplePeopleEater said:


> That must be crappy and humiliating getting ignored like that. And on top of that getting ignored at any workplace you're hired at. :/
> 
> I sort of went through something similar to that at my job not too long ago. I thought I was going to get a higher position but someone else got it instead.


I think your George post says it all....it's another George moment.

Oh well...he persisted...so will we.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel like I'm wasting my time on here.


----------



## SparklingWater

I am just so ready to go.


----------



## sanpellegrino

Motivated. Apprehensive. A little twisted.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

SofaKing said:


> I think your George post says it all....it's another George moment.
> 
> Oh well...he persisted...so will we.


It's the George phenomenon. :haha


----------



## CNikki

A bit heartbroken. A different kind of heartbroken.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not too bad. I ate some berry cheerios, which were delicious. Kinda wish I had another day off but ready to go back to work. Still sort of lonely but I guess I'll have to manage.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

:hug


----------



## Ckg2011

I feel so lonely and stupid. I'm sorry I'm a loser and weak. I am sorry I exist. cry


----------



## Ckg2011

I feel like I don't ever deserve love or happiness no matter what. I should probably ask for help but I am too scared to do so. cry


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Aw hope you feel better soon and this helps! :hug


Awww, thanks lils. :hug


----------



## harrison

I feel great. Had a nice talk to some people at the shops today - this one girl was so nice when I was talking to her about the Nintendo thing they were promoting. She's trying to become a programmer and when I told her about some of the things my son was doing she started bouncing up and down she was so excited. Lovely to talk to someone so happy - she was lovely.


----------



## SparklingWater

* *




First of all, I'm glad I'm in a much better place today cause yesterday was an absolute **** show. Thank goodness.

I'm looking forward to taking this class and I feel really good abt the path I'm choosing. I feel good abt taking it sloooooowly. All throughout my teens and 20s I'd have felt so guilty and ashamed abt that. Always had an imaginary competition in my head. But now I know there's no one watching or keeping score (except some "family" that no longer matter, if you're not on my side, goodbye.) It's my life and I have to do what works for me. That's the only way it happens. And this works. Or should theoretically. Doesn't feel overwhelming, which is what I'm used to my life feeling like. I can work full time in my low pressure job the entire time while taking courses, pay out of pocket as I go (no or minimal loans whoo!,) study at work and just take. my. time. I can still do therapy and be on top of my mental health. I'll have time to focus on other things that matter. I can handle it. And the time will pass anyway. Reaching goals at 39 or 40 vs 37- no big ****ing deal. 2nd bachelors, then 2 yrs experience, then a masters. I'm here for it. I can already imagine my new home- a decade down the line lol. It's all good.

I've been so focused on this path I want to take, I haven't even been thinking of the high likelihood I'll meet someone and settle down again. I don't know that I'll ever remarry, but I am looking forward to a loving relationship at some point. Doesn't really matter atm, but it'll be interesting to see how that comes about as well.


----------



## Deaf Mute

I feel so weird today, like everything is not real anymore or like I'm within a dream of a dream or that there is no reality..


----------



## Maslow

I feel a bit disappointed. It looked like we were going to war but then the moron-in-chief changed his mind. I'm tired of waiting for the <word for chaotic and unpleasant or violent situation>. Come on! Let's get this show on the road! :lol


----------



## C137

Depressed, sullen, disappointed, sad, alone.


----------



## sanpellegrino

Better. I'm getting over my hang ups, and the negativity spurred on to me has no effect anymore. Like it's wild. But it just makes me think I need to change direction and aim to be around different people. My skin is thicker.


----------



## SparklingWater

Ugh. Feel sick to my stomach and defeated. Basically got offered a higher paying, technically better, more comfortable job, but I won't be able to manage it, at least at this point. I'd quit within 3- 6 months. I feel so sad. My entire life is working around this ****. Trying to push but also being realistic abt what I can manage so I don't keep racking up failure after demoralizing failure. I'm trying to convince myself this is the best decision, but I just want to cry. I'm so beaten down. I know it'll pass, but sometimes life is just ****ty and unfair.


----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel awful.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Full from dinner.


----------



## SASsier1

Suffocated, rejected, worthless, should off myself


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel stupid. Can't understand why God made me like this!


----------



## lily

I_Exist said:


> I feel stupid. Can't understand why God made me like this!


I don't feel that you're stupid. I couldn't even tell you had a learning disability until you said so. I'm sorry you're feeling down. So am I.


----------



## The Linux Guy

lily said:


> I don't feel that you're stupid. I couldn't even tell you had a learning disability until you said so. I'm sorry you're feeling down. So am I.


People are so distant from each other they really can't see anything. I've been told in real life that "I would never guess you have a learning disability" Again that is because people keep me at arms length. It's pretty hard to understand how someone operates without getting close enough to listen and observe.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> thanks, you're welcome


You're welcome, thanks.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel so horrible


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I feel so horrible


Awww. :hug


----------



## Graeme1988

I don’t know anymore... Dumb. Inferior. Naive. Talentless. All of the above? 

Ah wish things could get back to how they were a few years, when ah wus actually happy.


----------



## SplendidBob

Pretty much this:


----------



## sanpellegrino

Happy. Wandering. Thinking of ways to take over the world.


----------



## SparklingWater

Defiant. At least as defiant as you can be when you're as physically tired as I am lol. Defiance on pause for 3 hrs til I wake up.


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> I don't know anymore... Dumb. Inferior. Naive. Talentless. All of the above?
> 
> Ah wish things could get back to how they were a few years, when ah wus actually happy.


I don't think you're untalented! :hug :squeeze


----------



## donistired

I'm sick of myself. I feel cringe, and worthless, and alone. I wish I had more freedom in life. I'm stuck and I hate it. There's so much that feels like it's out of my control and there's nothing I can do.


----------



## PandaBearx

Lethargic


----------



## Crisigv

i feel like a worthless loser, because that's what i am


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm hungry and still kinda bothered by my anxiety. I'm still shy to get food at work sometimes.  So haven't eaten all day. Waiting on food to cook in the oven. I really need to start getting comfortable with eating in public.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired after a day out and about.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That I love this song.






:yes


----------



## SociopathicApe

Wondering if I actually have a physical condition or if it's all anxiety. Constant shortness of breath, buildup of gas, chest discomfort. Guess I'll find out with my physician in September.


----------



## harrison

Much better now thanks - thank God for Valium.


----------



## SparklingWater

Freezing!! And tired. 4h30m to go. I shall study and survive. Maybe grab some coffee.

Eta- 2h 15m to go. Home stretch! Def not looking forward to the drive home.

Eta- 25 mins left!


----------



## sanpellegrino




----------



## SofaKing

I'm super anxious over my property purchase. More so over if it truly falls through. With only a few weeks left in my lease, I'm not sure what other quick and less desirable decisions I might have to make.

Nothing is ever smooth for me. Why I'm keeping a life that fights me every step of the way is becoming more difficult to answer.


----------



## Maslow

Tired. I didn't sleep worth a damn last night. Too much anxiety. :mum


----------



## Not Human

I am feeling bored as hell.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am feeling okay-ish, ate some ice cream we had in the fridge earlier.


----------



## SparklingWater

Deeply ... moved? That's not really it..in awe? Can't find the words right now. Something like amazed, reverent.
Just awestruck. Life is a gift. So mundane yet so miraculous. Deeply peaceful, content and satisfied.


----------



## Eleonora91

Feeling like absolute ****. I failed my driving test again and I feel like I'm worthless, a loser and a lost cause. I'm gonna try again but I have plans for my life and I can't reach them unless I get my driving license first. I don't know what's wrong with me and why so many other people can do it while I can't. I felt like I wasn't given the chance to show how I drive and stopped too quickly for such a stupid reason. I feel empty and disappointed.


----------



## Suchness

Eleonora91 said:


> Feeling like absolute ****. I failed my driving test again and I feel like I'm worthless, a loser and a lost cause. I'm gonna try again but I have plans for my life and I can't reach them unless I get my driving license first. I don't know what's wrong with me and why so many other people can do it while I can't. I felt like I wasn't given the chance to show how I drive and stopped too quickly for such a stupid reason. I feel empty and disappointed.


How many times have you tried? You can only learn from this one and there's only so many times you can fail before you pass. They can be strict as ****, took me until my third go to pass.


----------



## Eleonora91

Suchness said:


> How many times have you tried? You can only learn from this one and there's only so many times you can fail before you pass. They can be strict as ****, took me until my third go to pass.


I tried in March and now and before that I tried 10 years ago when I first took my driving lessons but failed and never tried again for years. I feel so disappointed because I don't think I deserved to fail this time. I have severe driving anxiety and I was reasonably calm this time.


----------



## 3stacks

Eleonora91 said:


> Feeling like absolute ****. I failed my driving test again and I feel like I'm worthless, a loser and a lost cause. I'm gonna try again but I have plans for my life and I can't reach them unless I get my driving license first. I don't know what's wrong with me and why so many other people can do it while I can't. I felt like I wasn't given the chance to show how I drive and stopped too quickly for such a stupid reason. I feel empty and disappointed.


 You're none of the things you've said about yourself there ourkid.


----------



## Suchness

Eleonora91 said:


> I tried in March and now and before that I tried 10 years ago when I first took my driving lessons but failed and never tried again for years. I feel so disappointed because I don't think I deserved to fail this time. I have severe driving anxiety and I was reasonably calm this time.


Hopefully you can try again, you might get lucky like me. On my third try, I knew I was going to pass from the moment I met the person who was taking me on the test, we we're talking the whole time like we were friends lol, she must have been in a good mood cause I messed up a couple of times. My instructor told me she was the wife of the guy who ran the place and was very strict but somehow I passed. So keep trying, you never know what's going to happen.


----------



## Eleonora91

Suchness said:


> Hopefully you can try again, you might get lucky like me. On my third try, I knew I was going to pass from the moment I met the person who was taking me on the test, we we're talking the whole time like we were friends lol, she must have been in a good mood cause I messed up a couple of times. My instructor told me she was the wife of the guy who ran the place and was very strict but somehow I passed. So keep trying, you never know what's going to happen.


Yeah I have another chance in October and by then I'm gonna be the best driver without a license yet in town lol


----------



## Eleonora91

3stacks said:


> You're none of the things you've said about yourself there ourkid.


I know but it's hard not to feel like that now.


----------



## 3stacks

Eleonora91 said:


> I know but it's hard not to feel like that now.


Yeah I know but you gotta stop being so hard on yourself matey. You're worth a lot. At least six camels in some countries.


----------



## scooby




----------



## donistired

I feel burdened and paralysed, with nothing to do with those feelings. I find myself, life, and the world even more strange and it terrifies me. I feel distant from everything. Everything feels inaccessible to me, whether it be friendship, jobs, community, or some notion of reality that I don't understand. I don't understand anything. Not myself, not people, and not this world we're living in. Just a bunch of sh*t constantly swirling in my head at once and after a while it all starts to blur together.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> You're worth a lot. At least six camels in some countries.


I thought it was seven camels, three billy goat gruffs, bugs bunny and a merry tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas my ....... said to me....... :b


----------



## Citrine79

More anxious than usual!! My nerves are quite rattled at the moment!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## sanpellegrino

Happy, I'm getting moved tomorrow and I've caught the sun. Although.. Is the goth pale worth getting rid of for a tan? I've been building this up for a while :teeth


----------



## C137

Alone


----------



## Toad Licker

I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train... :eyes


----------



## harrison

Well I was feeling pretty good until another migraine started.


----------



## Crisigv

Useless and depressed.


----------



## zonebox

I have to go to the dentist tomorrow.










I really would rather get to know a person, before they start putting their hands in me. A dentist visits should require a date or two, before anything actually occurs.


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> I have to go to the dentist tomorrow.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *I really would rather get to know a person, before they start putting their hands in me*. A dentist visits should require a date or two, before anything actually occurs.


Jesus I hate dentists. Have you got any Valium?

On a side note - I always feel a bit like that on a long-haul flight when you've got your legs wrapped around the person with their seat back in front of you. I always feel like we should have at least exchanged numbers. :roll


----------



## zonebox

harrison said:


> Jesus I hate dentists. Have you got any Valium?
> 
> On a side note - I always feel a bit like that on a long-haul flight when you've got your legs wrapped around the person with their seat back in front of you. I always feel like we should have at least exchanged numbers. :roll


:lol

The worst part of it all is, my entire body shakes due to anxiety. I swear, they need to make a special chair just for me, to hold my head in place to make it easier for the dentist. I wish I had some Vallium, but no such luck. I'm just going to have to close my eyes, try to stay as still as possible, and try to enter my "happy place" until it is all over. This is just the examination, the worst is yet to come :afr


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> :lol
> 
> The worst part of it all is, my entire body shakes due to anxiety. I swear, they need to make a special chair just for me, to hold my head in place to make it easier for the dentist. I wish I had some Vallium, but no such luck. I'm just going to have to close my eyes, try to stay as still as possible, and try to enter my "happy place" until it is all over. This is just the examination, the worst is yet to come :afr


Maybe you could ask them to give you a script for a few Valium. I have this GP that gives me some - as an old mate of mine used to say, he has a good writing hand.

Last time I went to the dentist this lovely young kid was actually standing behind me trying to massage my jaw - because I was telling her it was uncomfortable holding my mouth open for that long. Jee she was a nice girl.

I still hate dentists though. 

Hope it goes okay anyway mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.


----------



## zonebox

harrison said:


> Maybe you could ask them to give you a script for a few Valium. I have this GP that gives me some - as an old mate of mine used to say, he has a good writing hand.
> 
> Last time I went to the dentist this lovely young kid was actually standing behind me trying to massage my jaw - because I was telling her it was uncomfortable holding my mouth open for that long. Jee she was a nice girl.
> 
> I still hate dentists though.
> 
> Hope it goes okay anyway mate.


I wish I could, but I don't have a doctor. I haven't had a doctor for decades now :lol No therapist either, if I did have one I think they would probably stuff me with as many drugs as possible after listening to me talk for an hour.


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> I wish I could, but I don't have a doctor. I haven't had a doctor for decades now :lol No therapist either, if I did have one I think they would probably stuff me with as many drugs as possible after listening to me talk for an hour.


You could actually just ask the dentist at your initial visit. My sister was telling me not long ago that her dentist said they'll give her a couple of them - one for the night before and one for the day she has to go.

(I said she should ask for a few extra for me as well but I don't think that'd work)


----------



## SparklingWater

Bored.


----------



## SpartanSaber

Just depressed.


----------



## twitchy666

groping?


----------



## zonebox

harrison said:


> You could actually just ask the dentist at your initial visit. My sister was telling me not long ago that her dentist said they'll give her a couple of them - one for the night before and one for the day she has to go.
> 
> (I said she should ask for a few extra for me as well but I don't think that'd work)


That would be cool, I don't have the nerve to ask though :lol I would think he is thinking I am some kind of drug fiend looking for any excuse to score some drugs :lol Isn't SA so much fun?! Oh, boy.. another half an hour and I start my journey there, I can already feel my heart sinking.. my hands are trembling, and my breathing is erratic... Bleh, I just keep telling myself it will be over soon, and then tonight I can have some rum and cola, play a few video games, and enjoy life again.

We need an autonomous world already, where the heck is my robot doctor, Harrison?


----------



## CWe

Tired because I haven't slept yet..... my brain needs a off switch


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> That would be cool, I don't have the nerve to ask though :lol I would think he is thinking I am some kind of drug fiend looking for any excuse to score some drugs :lol Isn't SA so much fun?! Oh, boy.. another half an hour and I start my journey there, I can already feel my heart sinking.. my hands are trembling, and my breathing is erratic... Bleh, I just keep telling myself it will be over soon, and then tonight I can have some rum and cola, play a few video games, and enjoy life again.
> 
> We need an autonomous world already, where the heck is my robot doctor, Harrison?


Oh man - that's horrible. I hope it all goes okay for you mate. Hopefully they won't have to do too much and you can forget all about it again soon.


----------



## zonebox

harrison said:


> Oh man - that's horrible. I hope it all goes okay for you mate. Hopefully they won't have to do too much and you can forget all about it again soon.


Phew, it's over! :smile2: I took your advice and asked about Valium and the dentist was really cool about it. Surprisingly my teeth are not nearly as bad as I thought they were, I was certain I would be wearing dentures. Just a few cavities, and a bridge - not too bad for not having a dentist checkup in 25 years or so. The dentist actually complimented that my gums were in good shape, and the plaque build up not bad at all.


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> Phew, it's over! :smile2: I took your advice and asked about Valium and the dentist was really cool about it. Surprisingly my teeth are not nearly as bad as I thought they were, I was certain I would be wearing dentures. Just a few cavities, and a bridge - not too bad for not having a dentist checkup in 25 years or so. The dentist actually complimented that my gums were in good shape, and the plaque build up not bad at all.


Oh that's fantastic mate - I'm glad it went okay. That's great you asked about a bit of Valium too, it can help you to relax a bit on the days you need to go.

I'm pretty sure they used to use Valium (or something similar) as a pre-med when you had an operation. The added thing with it was that it can often cause a bit of anterograde amnesia (you forget what happens after you take it) - so it made the whole process fairly stress-free. An anaesthetist was telling me recently they don't tend to do that as much now but she still gave me something when I was about to go into theatre.

She also asked if there was anything else she could help me with - so I said I'd make her a list.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Stressed as have a lot of things to sort out.


----------



## C137

Irritated and lonely.


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed and misunderstood


----------



## CNikki

Upset and wondering if I'm doing the right thing...never seem to have done so in any situation in my life.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Embarrassed. I used my new card at work today and was so confused. My old one didn't have a chip on it. So I swiped my new one in the slot on the side like 4 different times until the cashier said to use the bottom one. Then I messed up again cause I took it out too soon and didn't know I had to leave it in there. I told him it's my first time having one of those. I messed up two more times after that. But he was kinda laughing about it and said it's all good. What makes it even worse is I bet I was blushing cause apparently my face gets red easily.

Sometimes, I feel like an old person when it comes to these modern things, which is pretty ironic.


----------



## harrison

Feeling good. Beautiful day here - not so cold, plenty of sun.


----------



## mgra

Haven't been feeling so good lately and I've not been coping well at all. My sleep is not good either. I'm ready for the week to be over.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling that should watch this again and listen to music.











Still a fan of Jim Henson's puppet work. Amazing.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Better than I used to be. Feeling peckish. I should get a snack before bedtime tonight. Can't wait for my Friday thrift store shift to come again.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@lily

:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Aww thanks Mondo!


You're welcome.


----------



## Crisigv

Like a failure and a disappointment. I don't deserve to be alive. I need the courage to end this.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Like a failure and a disappointment.


No way.

You are the amazing Crisigv. :yes

Lots of potential right there.


----------



## Crisigv

Mondo_Fernando said:


> No way.
> 
> You are the amazing Crisigv. :yes
> 
> Lots of potential right there.


Lol, what potential? I'm getting worse with each passing day.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Crisigv said:


> Like a failure and a disappointment. I don't deserve to be alive. I need the courage to end this.


 What do you think you're failing at? What do you want to succeed in?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Lol, what potential? I'm getting worse with each passing day.


That you are a highly intelligent woman and can do mostly anything you can put your mind to. The limit is you in thinking you can't.

If think you can't, you can't. If think you can, you can. You are what you think you are.

It is about going outside your comfort zone and getting things done in life.

I have seen you do this over the years on here while at work with interviews, etc, so are capable of doing things you thought was scary and thought you couldn't do due to anxiety, depression. It comes down to how much you want to change?

Need to find that drive again and get out of this negative thinking that is limiting your ability to get on with life. Then you would see what the amazing Crisigv is capable of.

Take negative thoughts by others, negative situations with put downs and use it to drive yourself to find a way in your spare time.

The more you do this, the less depressed you should feel as you are sorting issues that are depressing you.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> I'm happy that I'll be having a nice weekend and I'm almost on my next withdrawal schedule for a medication. After that, 3 more months to go.


It's good to hear you're happy. :yes Hope everything works out for you.


----------



## Deaf Mute

****ty... everyday gets harder and harder.. I really need things to work out otherwise I'm going to be stuck forever


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired. Still waking up.


----------



## SparklingWater

Super pleased to see these clinicals are at most one 6 hr day a week. Guess I was still thinking of that very competitive accelerated program that would've been 2-3 days with 4 classes on top. I'm actually pretty relieved to mosey along and take my own sweet time.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Went into some of my misc email accounts to check stuff but then stumble across old conversations/pictures from past people... some old cringe pictures of me when I had no style and needed a lot of help (instead of hurt).. I just feel so depressed thinking of the past now, my personality changed so much from then.

Some of the scenic pictures gave me nostalgia from a certain time, I used to be not so cynical and more "romantic/expressive" I guess. Now I'm just:










And rolling my eyes a lot these days..

I hate having to learn the hard way because of having no foundation if you know what I mean... and ****ty ugly personality moulded from a ****ty environment. I don't write as much as I used to then, these days it's just emptiness. It's like coming to the conclusion that in the reality we're in, there isn't really much "there" to be honest.

A beautiful flower, yeh so ****ing what, looking at it's not going to pay the bills.

The sky looks so glorious... yeh no ****, works not gonna do itself so get moving.

It's like you can't even enjoy the "little things" that if we get right down to it honestly, everyone's too stressed about survival so..

I mean:



> _Under the arches of moonlight and sky
> Suddenly easy to contemplate why, why
> Why live a life
> That's painted with pity and sadness and strife
> Why dream a dream
> That's tainted with trouble and less than it seems
> Why bother bothering
> Just for a poem or another sad song to sing
> Why live a lie
> Why live a lie_


She said it, it's morbid the truth.






They're never gonna ****ing invent though because society always needs more slaves and people are too ****ing stupid to stop reproducing like rabbits. I really can't believe it honestly, why have multiple kids if you CAN'T AFFORD IT.

I hate being a credit child... I'm alive because of credit/debt so I'm basically dead... there was no point for me to do the whole "trying to fit in", "go meet people" blah blahblah, I learned my truths already, all of that was pointless but most parents are so generic. They just follow the sheep upbringing template of course. I wish I had a creative artistic family... OR a modest family.. instead I get a d***head for head of house/party leade who led us all to doom...


----------



## Not Human

Horribly lonely :crying:


----------



## sanpellegrino

In tune. Positive. A little bit avoidant. 

Meds are working and I feel a boost in confidence. Can't be a bad thing.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> Thank you!


You're welcome.


----------



## Suchness

Like ****, had a **** day where nothing almost nothing went how I wanted it too. Got up late, went out late, already a bad start and pretty much setting me up for the rest of the day which wasn't much better.


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed, as per usual


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Worried, anxious.


----------



## SparklingWater

Restless and unfocused. All over the place mentally.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Trapped. Hopeless.


----------



## funnynihilist

Limp


----------



## harrison

Slightly elevated. My wife's gone back to bed to get away from me because I won't stop talking. (party pooper)


----------



## funnynihilist

This place is way too tight


----------



## Suchness

funnynihilist said:


> This place is way too tight


That's what he said.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Worried, anxious.


Dude.  :rub


SparklingWater said:


> Restless and unfocused. All over the place mentally.


Aww.  :hug


Suchness said:


> That's what he said.


Touche. :lol


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Chilly


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Suchness said:


> Like ****, had a **** day where nothing almost nothing went how I wanted it too. Got up late, went out late, already a bad start and pretty much setting me up for the rest of the day which wasn't much better.


 That's crappy. Days like that just make you feel more dull.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Dude.  :rub


Thanks mate.


----------



## Suchness

PurplePeopleEater said:


> That's crappy. Days like that just make you feel more dull.


It happens, tomorrow's a new day.

Today is a headache.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feel powerless when someone is seriously sick.

Just start. :crying:


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Suchness said:


> It happens, tomorrow's a new day.
> 
> Today is a headache.


Yea, that's true. Ibuprofen helps with my headaches. Although, I don't get headaches much. Might not help for everyone. Unless you mean it was a headache only metaphorically speaking. :lol


----------



## Suchness

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Yea, that's true. Ibuprofen helps with my headaches. Although, I don't get headaches much. Might not help for everyone. Unless you mean it was a headache only metaphorically speaking.


I have an actual headache, it's so bad that I can't do much. I stopped taking codeine and that other pain killer, forgot what it's called cause they made me feel worse but I could try Ibuprofen. One of the things that can happen from taking a lot of drugs is that all of a sudden you can't take many.


----------



## Chris S W

Very sad that I'll never be able to experience certain things which I very much wanted to experience. But I think it's time for me to accept reality and that my fantasy will always remain fantasy. I will always be alone.


----------



## SparklingWater

Really excited abt the path I've chosen.

Eta- and super envious of everyone already established.


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed and stupid


----------



## harrison

Crisigv said:


> Depressed and stupid


You're not stupid at all - anyone can see that.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Hang in there!


Thank you. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Thank you, I really needed that. :hug


You're welcome. :hug


----------



## Crisigv

harrison said:


> You're not stupid at all - anyone can see that.


If you knew me, I'm sure you'd think otherwise. I must not realize how ridiculous I actually am. No wonder people don't like me and avoid me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> If you knew me, I'm sure you'd think otherwise. I must not realize how ridiculous I actually am. No wonder people don't like me and avoid me.


:no

People just respect your space as you ask for that space (for what ever reason).

:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Older, tired.


----------



## harrison

Crisigv said:


> If you knew me, I'm sure you'd think otherwise. I must not realize how ridiculous I actually am. No wonder people don't like me and avoid me.


I'm sure that's not true - you seem just as intelligent as anyone else here. You just have a low opinion of yourself and you have depression. (sorry - to state the obvious) I get very down too sometimes - and then it'll change and I'll get manic or a weird mixture of the two.


----------



## SparklingWater

Tired. And guilty for not getting some stuff done I wanted to.


----------



## Maslow

Like pure sh*t


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely.


----------



## Citrine79

Completely miserable today. Totally uninterested in my work and I just don’t care when it gets done. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Maslow

I had a good sleep last night, so that's something. :yes


----------



## SplendidBob

Lonely. V lonely. Ugh.


----------



## SplendidBob

SamanthaStrange said:


> Lonely.


:hug


----------



## Barakiel

Tired. The sudden motivation to clean my room only resulted in taking a few books out of my boxes (from when we moved September of last year :um) and placing them on my cajón. I got distracted reading them a little, which I guess was inevitable..


----------



## SparklingWater

Listless.


----------



## love is like a dream

when you are feeling like **** and decide to visit this site, what do you expect to find helpful?

in other words, how can we people who suffer depression here, how can we help each other?


----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## harrison

Coincidence said:


> when you are feeling like **** and decide to visit this site, what do you expect to find helpful?
> 
> in other words, how can we people who suffer depression here, how can we help each other?


By trying to be supportive. But I think dwelling on a lot of what's here for too long is unhealthy. It is for me anyway.


----------



## harrison

Another morning headache and tired.


----------



## love is like a dream

harrison said:


> By trying to be supportive. But I think dwelling on a lot of what's here for too long is unhealthy. It is for me anyway.


it is unhealthy indeed. =)


----------



## CNikki

A bit of mixed emotions all the while trying to remain numb. Yeah, I don't get it either.

(Okay, I kind of do...and it's not helping my situations right now, either.)


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison

Sorry to hear mate. 

I hope feel better later or after having some more sleep.
@CNikki

:sigh :hug


----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Coincidence said:


> when you are feeling like **** and decide to visit this site, what do you expect to find helpful?
> 
> in other words, how can we people who suffer depression here, how can we help each other?


Maybe a song from the past might help to distract from what is depressing you.


----------



## love is like a dream

@Mondo_Fernando i loved her. she is from america?
i typed the video title in google, but gave me nothing about the singer.


----------



## Suchness

Like I can do it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Coincidence said:


> @Mondo_Fernando i loved her. she is from america?
> i typed the video title in google, but gave me nothing about the singer.


Yes. St Louis, Missouri, USA.

Gayle McCormick, former singer of Smith. Died in 2016 from Cancer.

From what I understand, that song was used in one of Quentin Tarantino's movies. Death Proof.


----------



## love is like a dream

@Mondo_Fernando

:smile2:


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable and disappointed


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> A bit of mixed emotions all the while trying to remain numb. Yeah, I don't get it either.
> 
> (Okay, I kind of do...and it's not helping my situations right now, either.)


:hug:squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Coincidence said:


> @Mondo_Fernando
> 
> :smile2:


:yes

I think that is the song she was more known for. At least the song I recognise.



Crisigv said:


> Miserable and disappointed


:sigh :hug


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mad. I don't want to be quoted. Just venting.

My manager was talking about firing me saying I'll be the one to get fired over some new rule that I knew nothing about. What the hell? Most people don't even get fired for not doing things at their job so how can I get fired for doing my damn job? 

I think she was saying that to scare me. I got mad at her before then telling her how she made me do something different one day and she said don't put the blame on me. I felt better being straight up with her so wasn't mad the rest of the day. So tired of things changing everyday at this stupid place. It wasn't this bad like 6 months ago. Everyday it feels like I'm going to a new job cause things just change that much. This is ridiculous the way employees like me get treated. They do it cause we don't make much so they want to treat us as bad as the pay we get. 

I need a new job but I'm scared of change. I've been able to save money better for awhile, though but still need something better. It's just tempting to stay at my job only cause I've been saving really well. So at the moment, I don't think I really need extra money like I used to. Still being told to do something a certain way even though I've done it like 50 times. 

I swear, if I ever get another job where my manager is constantly getting on me, I'm going to be straight up with them. No one told managers they have to be that authoritative. They just let the power get to them so they just get worse and worse about it cause they can.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

:hug


----------



## CWe

Like I want to scream so loud... the earth shakes


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> :hug


Sorry about that. I was mad and really wanted to vent. :/ I feel better, though.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Sorry about that. I was mad and really wanted to vent. :/ I feel better, though.


It is ok, vent away.

Good to hear that feel better. :hug


----------



## donistired

Life hurts.


----------



## Crisigv

Tired of my life


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Crisigv said:


> Tired of my life


Me too


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hot and sweaty, even with the AC on. Stupid weather. Lol.


----------



## Wanderlust26

So lonely.


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling in the moment, the brush of air across my body, the way the light flickers in the kitchen, all of the noises outside of the house, it is all right here, right now, and I'm enjoying it. There are no worries of tomorrow, and no regrets of yesterday, I'm just enjoying the moment for everything I can. I'm headed off to sleep, I hope to have some cool dreams, I usually have pretty interesting ones, but forget them shortly after waking up.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @harrison
> 
> Sorry to hear mate.
> 
> I hope feel better later or after having some more sleep.


Thanks mate.

Groovy new avatar btw.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate.
> 
> Groovy new avatar btw.


You're welcome.

The mysterious man in blog.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Wanderlust26 said:


> So lonely.


:hug

Hoping that guy / crush in post's approaches you so don't feel so lonely anymore.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :hug
> 
> Hoping that guy / crush in post's approaches you so don't feel so lonely anymore.


Aww, thanks.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Wanderlust26 said:


> Aww, thanks.


You're welcome.


----------



## 8888

A bit sad at the moment.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

8888 said:


> A bit sad at the moment.


Sorry you are feeling sad.  :hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hot. Cranky. Cramps. Lonely.


----------



## Maslow

I'm excited at the prospect of violence at Trump's rally today. Protesters will be present day Patriots.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Thinking that this describes how a man with Social Anxiety feels when around a woman he likes.

Funny, sad parts to that video clip.


----------



## Entrensik

I'm so frustrated and about to get really angry WHY CANT I FIGURE THIS OUT?! It's the last peace to the puzzle. Please let me just understand this so I can be free from this. Please! 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## 8888

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sorry you are feeling sad.  :hug


Thank you


----------



## Sunny1

I am having a difficult time I was at work yesterday and I walked into a co workers office and told him he better not use the f word in the office. First I have no authority to say that and now I am anxious I do this stuff and then worry it's almost like I want to make myself worry. Feel like crap to be my age and can't seem to get a grip.


----------



## Sunny1

How do I deal with this blow it off. or try a apology


----------



## Crisigv

My feelings seem so pointless


----------



## SparklingWater

Little anxious. Fireworks kinda scare me. Not the fireworks themselves. Pple just never follow directions and take them to an open field. Sure, set them off in a tightly packed residential area with tons of trees and tons of houses. Apparently it's not a big deal and fires from them are pretty rare but idk, always freaks me out.


----------



## donistired

If one of my family members tells me to smile again, I might snap.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Don said:


> If one of my family members tells me to smile again, I might snap.


:rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Looking at the night sky and thinking of.....


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Then will.......


----------



## Citrine79

Really uninspired today. More than half the office is off today and it is even more depressing in here than usual. Taking every ounce of strength in me to get any work done today.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Maslow

I often have a sense of impending doom... like it's all going to come crashing down. But I just keep going on and on and on...

I've been thinking about a friend who died when he was 30. I couldn't find out how he died, but I think he might have killed himself. I remember once he told me when we were around 19 that he didn't want to be here any more. It might have taken him another 11 years before he finally ended it.


----------



## Inconspicuous Swirls

I just want to be alone and listen to music and think about life


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Annoyed. I had to buy a new phone yesterday cause my other one quit on me so I got an expensive one. It's a Galaxy J7 Refine and I thought it would be good but the connection is crap. I might have to return it. There's no way I got another defective phone. It must be that the company just has ****ty connection.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

:hug


----------



## Crisigv

Feelings have been up and down today. Problem is, by the time I realize I was feeling alright, my mood drops again.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I feel good, had a good day and been riding my bike everyday in the heat or not. And i like my new place even if neighbors are weird as ****.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

Sorry to hear that you are feeling that way.


----------



## CNikki

Disappointed. No matter how numb I get it sometimes still hurts.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Worried, stressed out.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am feeling good today. 



CNikki said:


> Disappointed. No matter how numb I get it sometimes still hurts.


  :hug :squeeze



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Worried, stressed out.


 :rub


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> :hug


Thanks. Was hoping it would be a good phone since it was so expensive. YouTube seems to mostly work fine but some spots in my room don't get connection and a couple other downsides I'm having. If it gets to be too unbearable, I'll take it back. :/ Its going to be aggravating going through all that again, though. Might need to go to another store to get my phones from now on.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze
> 
> :rub


Thanks mate.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks. Was hoping it would be a good phone since it was so expensive. YouTube seems to mostly work fine but some spots in my room don't get connection and a couple other downsides I'm having. If it gets to be too unbearable, I'll take it back. :/ Its going to be aggravating going through all that again, though. Might need to go to another store to get my phones from now on.


You're welcome.

Being certain parts of the room, one wonders what devices or parts of house are there to block or interfere. :sus

Maybe make sure plane features (airplane mode) are not on which might affect signal strength.


----------



## C137

I'm feeling pissed because the person that got banned here is posting another forum I was on that I hoped would be a safer place only to see her rants basically be an offense to my existence when we went through so much. WTF!?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

C137 said:


> I'm feeling pissed because the person that got banned here is posting another forum I was on that I hoped would be a safer place only to see her rants basically be an offense to my existence when we went through so much. WTF!?


That is pretty low of her.  :rub


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Thanks mate.
> 
> You're welcome.
> 
> Being certain parts of the room, one wonders what devices or parts of house are there to block or interfere. :sus
> 
> Maybe make sure plane features (airplane mode) are not on which might affect signal strength.


No, it's not that. My last phone was like this but it had better connection. I was told it's a deadzone out here. It's only 5 minutes into the country but I wouldn't think it's far enough to not have good connection. :stu


----------



## Kevin001

Kinda ended a friendship tonight....or cut back some at least. I deserve better.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> No, it's not that. My last phone was like this but it had better connection. I was told it's a deadzone out here. It's only 5 minutes into the country but I wouldn't think it's far enough to not have good connection. :stu


Ok.

Sounds like depends on how far from cellphone tower with connection.

If have 4G on phone, you don't have problems with distance so much from tower or modem. But with 5G you have to be closer to get a good signal, but is said to be faster than 4G.

Would need to know where the cell tower is located, point cellphone towards that.


----------



## LightUpTheAzureSky

Stressed and a tad bit lonely I suppose.

The realization that very few people care about anything other than themselves is a slight bummer.


----------



## harrison

Bit weird - what else is new. I can't believe how many bloody migraines I get when I stop this medication. I should start wearing sunglasses around in the mornings in this place - the light gives me a migraine just about every day.


----------



## Kevin001

lily said:


> @Kevin001, I ended a friendship completely actually and it definitely wasn't my fault. I'm not going to say why though. it was a friend I knew in elementary school and high school and I got social anxiety as a teenager so I didn't manage to get a lot of friends. I lost touch w/ my other friend due to anxiety and now I'm friendless but I have plans to get friends irl. The lord/God says in His Word that He is a ever-present help in times of trouble and this should be troubling you so you will get the help.


Yeah I know my worth.


----------



## Kevin001

lily said:


> Well that's a shame. Do you feel lonely as a result? I'm sorry to hear if you do- that's the part of it that's not nice- you would like a friend but one that you deserve and it leaves you lonely if you don't have the friend that you do not deserve and it's hard to find friends who you would like to talk to who wouldn't ignore you, that's sad but true for me.  I'm talking about the online world. irl there are definitely people who would like to talk to me but I'm too anxious.
> 
> I'll be your friend if you don't mind Kevin001 but then I'll understand if you have social anxiety.


I'm good not lonely .


----------



## SparklingWater

Sad. Bored. Lonely. Desperate.


----------



## blue2

Masculine, stoic, but not overtly sexual.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Ok.
> 
> Sounds like depends on how far from cellphone tower with connection.
> 
> If have 4G on phone, you don't have problems with distance so much from tower or modem. But with 5G you have to be closer to get a good signal, but is said to be faster than 4G.
> 
> Would need to know where the cell tower is located, point cellphone towards that.


It says I have 3G and it's a Boost Mobile phone, which is apparently crappy. Its having loading problems on my YouTube and I can't deal with that. So I'm just going to return it. I guess I'll have to get a cheap phone but I'd rather have an expensive one. I hear expensive ones are better.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> It says I have 3G and it's a Boost Mobile phone, which is apparently crappy. Its having loading problems on my YouTube and I can't deal with that. So I'm just going to return it. I guess I'll have to get a cheap phone but I'd rather have an expensive one. I hear expensive ones are better.


That probably would explain the lower signal strength.

If in a low signal strength area you can get a signal booster kit. Can be fairly cheap to buy.

Just a device that takes in the weaker signal via an antenna and amplifies it via a box, then transmits the stronger signal to phone via another antenna. Plugs into wall socket to get power. Make sure signal booster kit is 2G, 3G, 4G compatible.


----------



## harrison

blue2 said:


> Masculine, stoic, but not overtly sexual.


:lol

Nice one mate.

(Edit: hopefully that was supposed to be funny - never quite sure on here)


----------



## harrison

Very strange - I think it's the leftover of this massive migraine yesterday. Not much pain nowadays just a lot of visual disturbances. Flashes of light, partial loss of vision, light-headedness. Still very woozy today - not sure if I'll be able to have lunch with my wife and son.


----------



## Graeme1988

Like a right eejit ! Just 2 and a half days trying to get a piece of music software to work on my laptop. Y'know, the usual swear and losing ma temper. _"C'mon ! Fur fu... work ya [email protected]$*%@rd!"_ Only to realise that the software I was slaving over wus'nae needed. :bash


----------



## blue2

harrison said:


> Nice one mate.
> 
> (Edit: hopefully that was supposed to be funny - never quite sure on here)


...Nope, I'm always deadly serious :yes


----------



## harrison

Graeme1988 said:


> Like a right eejit ! Just 2 and a half days trying to get a piece of music software to work on my laptop. Y'know, the usual swear and losing ma temper. _"C'mon ! Fur fu... work ya [email protected]$*%@rd!"_ Only to realise that the software I was slaving over wus'nae needed. :bash


Do you ever watch that show Shetland? That's a great show - and I still like it when they say murder.


----------



## Graeme1988

harrison said:


> Do you ever watch that show Shetland? That's a great show - and I still like it when they say murder.


:teeth Sorry, that made me chuckle. And also reminded me of watching another Scottish crime drama called _Taggart_ when I was younger. Or mibbe it just that certain words sound funnier when said a Scottish accent?

But, no, ah huv'nae watched that _Shetland_ series much, at least no lately. Ah really need to get that show on DVD and spending a few weekends binge-watching it.


----------



## harrison

Graeme1988 said:


> :teeth Sorry, that made me chuckle. And also reminded me of watching another Scottish crime drama called _Taggart_ when I was younger. Or mibbe it just that certain words sound funnier when said a Scottish accent?
> 
> But, no, ah huv'nae watched that _Shetland_ series much, at least no lately. Ah really need to get that show on DVD and spending a few weekends binge-watching it.


It's a great show.  I love it. I love their accents and the place is amazing too - incredible place to set a crime show. The actors are really good and the story is always well-written too.

We haven't had this new series here yet - we've only just finished series 4 I think. I'm looking forward to the next one.


----------



## SpartanSaber

I actually feel alright today, my happiness probably won't last long though...


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> That probably would explain the lower signal strength.
> 
> If in a low signal strength area you can get a signal booster kit. Can be fairly cheap to buy.
> 
> Just a device that takes in the weaker signal via an antenna and amplifies it via a box, then transmits the stronger signal to phone via another antenna. Plugs into wall socket to get power. Make sure signal booster kit is 2G, 3G, 4G compatible.


I meant to say it's been getting 3G but it's a 4G phone.

Turns out, I had to restart my phone a couple times. Its been working a lot better since yesterday. I guess it wouldn't work good unless I restarted it. The connection would go out like every 5 minutes. Now, I can actually do something without being interrupted every 5 minutes.


----------



## Rebootplease

Lathargic.
This is after 3 coffees and a redbull.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored. Discontent.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I meant to say it's been getting 3G but it's a 4G phone.


Ok.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Turns out, I had to restart my phone a couple times. Its been working a lot better since yesterday. I guess it wouldn't work good unless I restarted it. The connection would go out like every 5 minutes. Now, I can actually do something without being interrupted every 5 minutes.


Good to hear.

Restart seems to fix a lot of problems with devices, computers.


----------



## CNikki

Annoyed and anxious. Great combo for a potential disaster.


----------



## Rebootplease

Annoyed too


----------



## discopotato

Frustrated


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

discopotato said:


> Frustrated


:hug:squeeze


----------



## thomasjune

Very tired. Like I want to sleep forever.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 3stacks

Anxious and slightly curious


----------



## discopotato

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug:squeeze


:squeeze:rub


----------



## Crisigv

Sad


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Content


----------



## Suchness

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Content


Very good.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That Rock and Roll is in good hands with these girls.






Feel sorry for the guitar as she took it to pieces with that shredding.

Rock on. :yes

@harrison

Like Fleetwood Mac spiced up a bit. :yes


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Frustrated


:hug



3stacks said:


> Anxious and slightly curious


Sorry to hear that you feel that way mate (anxious). 



Crisigv said:


> Sad


:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@lily

:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Thanks a lot!!!!!


You're welcome.


----------



## SparklingWater

Overwhelmed. Feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. Very busy day today and I'm not looking forward to it. Think I need to cancel at least 1 thing so I don't feel so rushed.


----------



## sanpellegrino

Nervous.


----------



## funnynihilist

My heels hurt and my wrist hurts


----------



## Wanderlust26

Stressed. So much I need to do. Trying to be an adult takes so much work.


----------



## Peter26

Now I feel great. A couple of days ago I was sad and lonely. Now everything is fine. I would be glad to talk with you)


----------



## Smallfry

Like I want to rip my uterus out 😖


----------



## CNikki

Numb.


----------



## funnynihilist

Slightly nauseous


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Don't want to be quoted. 

Sad. I just got threatened to get kicked out by this woman. Shes coming back here to live again and she had the nerve to bother me while I was eating to tell me that so I lost my appetite. She told me I have to start cleaning the bathroom, which I do. She's a ***** from hell. I started crying and I'm still crying. She doesn't pay any bills or anything so how dare she get up in my face telling me that. Guess I'll have to start saving money cause I can see me getting kicked out soon. No amount of cleaning ever pleases the crazy woman. Shes the definition of crazy. Not people like me. I think I'll be leaving in a few months cause I don't want to live here anymore. Nope. Not with her.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

:hug


----------



## Suchness

I've been feeling jaded for a while now, don't have the spark I used to. I want my spark back.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling good. The cat wanted so many pats today. Couldn't get places without giving at least 20-30 pats and cuddle at the end with claws out. Took a long time, but she was happy in the end and that is what matters the most.

Definitely a cat that knows what she wants.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> :hug


Her son just got out of prison so yea. :sigh I'm not living with an ex convict and a clean freak. I got over 400 US dollars saved right now. So I'll just let it build up to at least 3000 or so, so I can live in an apartment. Change scares me but guess it's better than staying here. :/ It's about time for me to get out of here anyways. It's not good for the mind. Honestly, she scares me. I've been threatened to get beat up by her once before but tried to ignore it. Guess that's partly why her son ended up in prison. I think she said he ran over someone. Not sure if it was intentional or not. Idk the full story. Either way, omg.

I plan on leaving by 2 or 3 months. I'm going to wish myself luck cause I'll need it. I'm just going to accept the change.

I went to a park next to the library earlier to clear my mind for an hour or so.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Probably on parol. Screws up and he is back in jail. Could call his parol officer (usually public record that most can access, as from what I understand they have to notify public of people on parol), state you concerns.

Change is scary, but no different to going through like a period, learn to adjust.

With a car you can live in that if have to in an emergency (or local emergency housing for abuse victims, single mothers, etc). It happens like that down these ways due to lack of housing. Not ideal, but can use service station toilets, etc.

Hotel is another option if set a set time period with a contract to suit.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good. Had a fun day out with family at their cottage.



Suchness said:


> I've been feeling jaded for a while now, don't have the spark I used to. I want my spark back.


 :rub


----------



## ceidauilyc

I am feeling restless. I am going home in two days, as is my beau. We will be apart for 2 weeks and it kills me before it happens.


----------



## SASer213504

Little depressed

Sent from my vivo 1820 using Tapatalk


----------



## Depo

Tired, always, tired.


----------



## Crisigv

Emotions are a roller coaster today.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hot. Bored. Irritable.


----------



## Graeme1988

Pissed off ! Thinking about, either, starting drinking again, or killing myself. Tired of having to put up with my dysfunctional family.

Apparently, it's really funny how my nieces spend more time with me than their own mother when they come n' visit. That's what my mother and oldest sister think. So, basically, the fact I can never get anything done is quite amusing. :bash Oh aye, ma Mum got what my oldest sister's been pestering her about done, and cleared out the old unit in the living room without ma help. Did I get my room tidied out so it's ready for a new carpet to be laid...? _Did ah f__k!_


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> Probably on parol. Screws up and he is back in jail. Could call his parol officer (usually public record that most can access, as from what I understand they have to notify public of people on parol), state you concerns.
> 
> Change is scary, but no different to going through like a period, learn to adjust.
> 
> With a car you can live in that if have to in an emergency (or local emergency housing for abuse victims, single mothers, etc). It happens like that down these ways due to lack of housing. Not ideal, but can use service station toilets, etc.
> 
> Hotel is another option if set a set time period with a contract to suit.


I hope he goes back to prison. I'm leaving this place anyways. And I decided I'll save more than 3000 dollars. Just to make extra sure. This place can't be good for me mentally.

I wish I could live in my car but I'd have to put it on my own property, which I don't have unfortunately. Easier said than done. :frown2: And I'd have to have a bathroom. :S

It would be nice if I had my own camper but that's like with a car. Have to have my own property to put it on. I could put it on someone's property that would know me but I know no one. Safe homes are the exact opposite from safe. At least from what I heard. People will steal anything you bring with you. :/ A cheap apartment sounds the most appealing. But I heard cheap apartments are usually in dangerous areas. I'll have a look around and see what's available.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I hope he goes back to prison. I'm leaving this place anyways. And I decided I'll save more than 3000 dollars. Just to make extra sure. This place can't be good for me mentally.


Sometimes a change is needed for health reasons.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I wish I could live in my car but I'd have to put it on my own property, which I don't have unfortunately. Easier said than done. :frown2: And I'd have to have a bathroom. :S


Also address for work, money, but probably need a pobox.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> It would be nice if I had my own camper but that's like with a car. Have to have my own property to put it on. I could put it on someone's property that would know me but I know no one.


Parents property? Or not an option? Solves the letter box, bathroom issues.

When the argument of if you live in this house comes up, but I'm living in the car. :b



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Safe homes are the exact opposite from safe. At least from what I heard. People will steal anything you bring with you. :/


Sounds more like a shelter where you are, where have to watch your belongings.

Never had problems like that when lived in one for a while when young. But was one in a good area, with mothers, kids which is probably why.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> A cheap apartment sounds the most appealing. But I heard cheap apartments are usually in dangerous areas. I'll have a look around and see what's available.


An apartment does sound like the best option where you are.

Sometimes can find someone renting part of an apartment or student rentals (real estate places advertise them in the windows sometimes).


----------



## OrbitalResonance

I'm thinking about how much it hurts to get though the day (name a problem) and how I have no idea how to make it better.


----------



## SparklingWater

Nervous, worried, embarrassed. Also kinda proud of myself and interested how this thing will work out ( if there even is a thing- cause my anxiety could very well have made it up.) Ugh my life is equal parts amusing and unbearable.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sometimes a change is needed for health reasons.
> 
> Also address for work, money, but probably need a pobox.
> 
> Parents property? Or not an option? Solves the letter box, bathroom issues.
> 
> When the argument of if you live in this house comes up, but I'm living in the car. :b
> 
> Sounds more like a shelter where you are, where have to watch your belongings.
> 
> Never had problems like that when lived in one for a while when young. But was one in a good area, with mothers, kids which is probably why.
> 
> An apartment does sound like the best option where you are.
> 
> Sometimes can find someone renting part of an apartment or student rentals (real estate places advertise them in the windows sometimes).


I knew he was supposed to be moving here like a couple months ago but it didn't go as good as I expected. Its awkward and that woman is still being mean to me. Then my door accidentally swung open and he was standing there. I think its cause he was walking by and it accidentally swung open. It's kind of a messed up door. :/ So that got me all tensed up cause it was really awkward. :sigh

Idk if that's how it is for safe homes here. It's just what I've heard from the Internet. I can't go to one anyways cause my old manager at work said I'd have to have proof that someone hurt me and I don't. Cause she never physically hurt me. So yea. It's just a complicated process.

I think an apartment would be. :smile2: I can do this. :smile2:


----------



## CWe

Feeling a little happier than usual. Gotta soak it up because the darkness is just around the corner


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I knew he was supposed to be moving here like a couple months ago but it didn't go as good as I expected. Its awkward and that woman is still being mean to me. Then my door accidentally swung open and he was standing there. I think its cause he was walking by and it accidentally swung open. It's kind of a messed up door. :/ So that got me all tensed up cause it was really awkward. :sigh


Sometimes people of that personality type see you as a problem as will speak up about them sort of thing (criticise). They then get scared they will get caught or exposed and the anger is part of that being scared. Think of it like an animal that is cornered (getting caught), how does it react, with aggression.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Idk if that's how it is for safe homes here. It's just what I've heard from the Internet. I can't go to one anyways cause my old manager at work said I'd have to have proof that someone hurt me and I don't. Cause she never physically hurt me. So yea. It's just a complicated process.


Oh, that makes sense. Need like a police report(s) or similar of incidents.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I think an apartment would be. :smile2: I can do this. :smile2:


Can do nearly anything you put your mind to.


----------



## caelle

I'm already exhausted by the thought of how busy I'm going to be the next few days. I have a lot to do and a lot of it will be unpleasant. Friday being the worst as I have a dentist appointment too early in the morning. I've been to the dentist several times this year already after having not been in years. And let me tell you, it's not getting easier. Maybe slightly but not a whole lot.


----------



## SplendidBob

****.

If I could confront another long term phobia and get another long term untreatable, undiagnosable chronic health condition as a result that would be super.


----------



## Crisigv

Another crappy day


----------



## Deaf Mute

Feeling nostalgia for a time I was actually happy, though it was truly regrettable in the end. I think I can only be happy if certain conditions are met which is why I went for it back then, because I didn't think I'd have the same conditions in real life in the first place. 

I had given up on real life already then, these days (now that I can't go back to that "place") I try to live in the real world but it's so hard, I need the extremes and to be able to go all the way or for things to be fair game to be happy.. I gave up on this place (reality) because I couldn't bear the burden of my original self which is so debilitating...


----------



## Depo

I feel better than yesterday, I slept for 9 hours and had some very nice dreams. As much as I like to stay up late at night, I think I'll start sleeping early from now on.


----------



## funnynihilist

Slept decent but still kinda tired


----------



## SparklingWater

Turns out embarrassment was appropriate. Ugh. Don't feel like making those apologies.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Alone.


----------



## kesker

SamanthaStrange said:


> Alone.


:squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

kesker said:


> :squeeze


Thanks. :squeeze


----------



## SpartanSaber

Well I was happy a couple of days ago, and now I'm back to feeling sad again. I knew it wouldn't last long, it never does. I just have to deal with it now.


----------



## donistired

Sad, bored, stuck.


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable


----------



## sanpellegrino

Drunk, contemplating on life. Feeling happy.


----------



## Suchness

Had a good night's sleep, around 7 hours so that's got me feeling good.


----------



## lily

I'm feeling lonely/bored today but I still have more things to do nowadays.


----------



## Suchness

lily said:


> Congratulations! Yesterday there was a little conflict so I slept late. I have to go back to earlier.


Hope you get some good sleep tonight.


----------



## SofaKing

Beaten down...I don't think the universe wants me here.


----------



## harrison

I have a dull headache from this bloody medication but at least the Valium has calmed me down. I'd like to go and see the Rare Book Fair so I might actually be able to get there now - half an hour ago that would have been unthinkable.


----------



## SparklingWater

Disappointed. Had something important to do yesterday but was so tired couldn't wrench myself out of bed. Thankfully can go again in 2 weeks.


----------



## 3stacks

Feeling good today


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Like a vampire. My eye gets sore in the sun and bright lights and it gets watery. At least I got some eyedrops. I shouldn't have rubbed my eyes last night. I think my fingernails cut my eye. :S


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I shouldn't have rubbed my eyes last night. I think my fingernails cut my eye. :S


I keep telling you to stop doing that! :b


----------



## funnynihilist

Bored and bad


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Like a vampire. My eye gets sore in the sun and bright lights and it gets watery. At least I got some eyedrops. I shouldn't have rubbed my eyes last night. I think my fingernails cut my eye. :S


Usually means you have to wear sunglasses or autotint UV glasses if have vision issues.

An eye test helps with this as they look at back of eye and can tell if are sensitive to light as get like black spots.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

3stacks said:


> Feeling good today


:yay


----------



## Crisigv

feeling pretty rough


----------



## discopotato

my migraines refuse to go away.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Usually means you have to wear sunglasses or autotint UV glasses if have vision issues.
> 
> An eye test helps with this as they look at back of eye and can tell if are sensitive to light as get like black spots.


Lol xD No, it's nothing like that. It's possible its pink eye. I had to leave about an hour early today cause I had a customer who also had a pink eye so it couldn't have been from rubbing my eye but my produce manager said it wasn't pink eye. I asked her if she was sure and she said it must've been from me rubbing my eyes, which it couldn't have been. It's no coincidence that I see someone with a pink eye the same day I have it. I got some medicated eyedrops. She told me that's what kind I needed to get. I might not be able to work tomorrow if it's still red like this.  Hopefully, I'll be able to cause it's a busy day and I need to be there.
@I_Exist Haha. I'll stop. It's hard not to sometimes, though. :laugh:


----------



## Depo

I feel hungry. :blank :no


----------



## SofaKing

Well, my land deal is up in the air, my lease ends tomorrow. Aside from the Airbnb I have setup, I'm effectively a well financed homeless man. Joy.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> feeling pretty rough


:hug



discopotato said:


> my migraines refuse to go away.


Awww. :hug

Shoo, go away migraine.



SofaKing said:


> Well, my land deal is up in the air, my lease ends tomorrow. Aside from the Airbnb I have setup, I'm effectively a well financed homeless man. Joy.


RV and enter one of those RV park places? :stu


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol xD No, it's nothing like that. It's possible its pink eye. I had to leave about an hour early today cause I had a customer who also had a pink eye so it couldn't have been from rubbing my eye but my produce manager said it wasn't pink eye. I asked her if she was sure and she said it must've been from me rubbing my eyes, which it couldn't have been. It's no coincidence that I see someone with a pink eye the same day I have it. I got some medicated eyedrops. She told me that's what kind I needed to get. I might not be able to work tomorrow if it's still red like this.  Hopefully, I'll be able to cause it's a busy day and I need to be there.
> 
> @I_Exist Haha. I'll stop. It's hard not to sometimes, though. :laugh:


Oh, said "eye" instead of "eyes", my bad. :b :lol

Teaches me not to multitask while on a forum. :b

Usually if blood leaking into eye, not much can do as it rights itself with time.

At least that is what I have seen happen.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Oh, said "eye" instead of "eyes", my bad. :b :lol
> 
> Teaches me not to multitask while on a forum. :b
> 
> Usually if blood leaking into eye, not much can do as it rights itself with time.
> 
> At least that is what I have seen happen.


Eww. Lol Mine looks pretty red in the corner of it. I have no idea who I got it from. Could've been anyone. Shes the only person I've seen with it so far but I dont know her. :stu She was nice enough to show me which specific kind to get, though. Seems to be working so far.


----------



## CNikki

Calm. Though I think the wine is helping me with that.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Eww. Lol Mine looks pretty red in the corner of it. I have no idea who I got it from. Could've been anyone. Shes the only person I've seen with it so far but I dont know her. :stu She was nice enough to show me which specific kind to get, though. Seems to be working so far.


Redness is said to be the blood.

Red look to eye can happen for many reasons.

Might have rubbed it too much or sneezed too hard, etc.


----------



## Maslow

Bloated. Must be something I ate.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Nerves acting up.  I forced myself to go in the kitchen with that woman here. Trying to motivate myself with motivational quotes on the Internet I guess. Have a feeling this forced interaction won't last long. She was in a good mood so I talked to her for like 30 seconds but my nerves were acting up and I just wanted to go to my room. Ugh. Saw her at work today going grocery shopping. She asked me what I was doing. Omg. This is sort of like a nightmare for me. I think I'm gonna be sick. :/


----------



## 3stacks

SamanthaStrange said:


> :yay


It was nice for one day haha


----------



## Suchness

Not too bad.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

:hug


----------



## Nekomata

Bored. Not too sure what to do. Gahhh *flops*


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> :hug


Thanks.  I'm not sure what's going on. Her son left with the camper cause its not outside anymore. :stu Not sure if he's on probation or what. He probably wasn't cause I'm sure I would've heard her say something about it. I never even met him and didn't want to.

I doubt she'll be leaving again. But she hasn't been in a bad mood the past 2 or 3 days. Going to enjoy that while I can.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

You're welcome.

Sounds like she is distracted by something.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando I'm just worried about myself. Definitely not her. Lol Also my pink eye is going away.  I think something irritated it. I knew it would go away just with eyedrops.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando I'm just worried about myself. Definitely not her. Lol Also my pink eye is going away.  I think something irritated it. I knew it would go away just with eyedrops.


Was thinking she is occupied with something else, so left you alone for now.

Good to hear that your eye is healing. 

A smart cookie, as knew what to do.


----------



## sanpellegrino

Chilled compared to an hour ago. It's like even though I don't feel it, I still need my own space to calm down. Finding myself a little irritable today. Like I was overly sensitive to my surroundings and my common thought of "your full of ****." I don't like being like this.


----------



## taffi

Disappointed in myself. Went into this restaurant I now work at today to take a menu test and I didn’t study :c I did fairly well but not as great as I could’ve done. I had a hard time making conversation with the other trainee and my manager and felt like a freak. It’s not the worst feeling ever, I’m very calm and motivated to do well on my next shift! I need to put on some makeup, it’s nice to wear a mask sometimes.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Was thinking she is occupied with something else, so left you alone for now.
> 
> Good to hear that your eye is healing.
> 
> A smart cookie, as knew what to do.


Yea, hoping it stays that way for awhile.

Yea. Lol I'm glad. Didnt even have to take off work for it. :yes


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Yea, hoping it stays that way for awhile.
> 
> Yea. Lol I'm glad. Didnt even have to take off work for it. :yes


Crossing fingers, rubbing the rabbits foot or lucky charm.

Score, bonus, present under a tree or what ever. :b


----------



## Deaf Mute

Half excited, half anxious, almost evolved but not quite, really hoping so because I'm excited about ripping into all the new exercises and pieces already... :laugh:

If not, going to be more drudge work uggghhh...

PLEASE WORK!!!!


----------



## Maslow

I feel a sense of impending doom.


----------



## SpartanSaber

Lonely, sad and just really disappointed in myself :c


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Crossing fingers, rubbing the rabbits foot or lucky charm.
> 
> Score, bonus, present under a tree or what ever. :b


I used to have one of those rabbit foot keychains when I was a kid. Your post reminded me. Lol I think it was dark purple.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I used to have one of those rabbit foot keychains when I was a kid. Your post reminded me. Lol I think it was dark purple.


Why do I feel like I subconciously know your life history. :sus :b

Sounds like conjuring a spell. :sus

Next I know you'll mention witchcraft and I'll be. :afr :lol


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Why do I feel like I subconciously know your life history. :sus :b
> 
> Sounds like conjuring a spell. :sus
> 
> Next I know you'll mention witchcraft and I'll be. :afr :lol


If I was a witch, I'd make a spell for nice things to happen for me. :grin2:

Lol Maybe I was into witchcraft as a kid and dont remember. Jk. :b I dont think I even knew about it when I was a kid.


----------



## Crisigv

feeling pretty down


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> If I was a witch, I'd make a spell for nice things to happen for me. :grin2:


Feeling like 3x versions of you are going to appear in a video.






It happened. :O



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol Maybe I was into witchcraft as a kid and dont remember. Jk. :b I dont think I even knew about it when I was a kid.


I think you knew when the cat turned into a rabbit after a slight of hand move. :sus :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> feeling pretty down


Awww. :hug


----------



## CNikki

Trapped.


----------



## Suchness

Woke up with a headache.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Feeling like 3x versions of you are going to appear in a video.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> It happened. :O
> 
> I think you knew when the cat turned into a rabbit after a slight of hand move. :sus :b


I could see someone actually believing they're real witches. :laugh: The effects are pretty cool.

Witchcraft would be pretty awesome if it really was real and used for good.

The ASMR with her nails was a nice sound. Lol


----------



## funnynihilist

Feeling bad. Headache. Depressed.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I could see someone actually believing they're real witches. :laugh: The effects are pretty cool.
> 
> Witchcraft would be pretty awesome if it really was real and used for good.
> 
> The ASMR with her nails was a nice sound. Lol


It looks like either real effects against a green screen and key out the green in a compositing program.

Or effects done in a 3D program and composited with live footage in a compositing program.

In some cases some compositing programs might be able to create effects like that.

In a compositing program I have used (same compositing program as used in Lord Of The Rings), can stick a sign to say the right side of a bus and keep it there at different angles throughout the movement of the bus around a corner when turning left. Would think it was part of the bus until seen the shot break down.

Imagination is really the limit once know how to use the tools in programs.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious and depressed.


----------



## harrison

It's sort of funny when you have so many things wrong with you - it's actually laughable. I felt like I was going mad over the weekend for a day or so, then tried to take my meds again which made me so sick I couldn't believe it. Then yesterday my back went out - while I was just sitting here at my computer. 

It's incredible. But I actually feel pretty good as far as mood goes - if it's not one thing it's something else. But who the hell cares - I feel pretty good overall.


----------



## Crisigv

Quite depressed


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Quite depressed


:sigh :hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A little agitated. I want something sweet. :S


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> A little agitated. I want something sweet. :S


One ponders what that is. :sus :b


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Trapped.


:hug:squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious and depressed.


:hug:squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling that this is one of the most emotional songs I have ever heard.






So much so it is making me cry.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> One ponders what that is. :sus :b


Soft, chocolate cookies. :laugh:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Soft, chocolate cookies. :laugh:


:O

Yummy. :b


----------



## andrew141

Feeling lost right now but I think I'm headed in the right direction.

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :O
> 
> Yummy. :b


Yaaasss guuuurl. Jk. I know you're not a girl. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Yaaasss guuuurl. Jk. I know you're not a girl. :b


Puts a rainbow coloured tutu dress on and performs a little curtsy. :b :lol


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Puts a rainbow coloured tutu dress on and performs a little curtsy. :b :lol


:yay *sprinkles glitter all over you*

Meanwhile, I'm over here rockin' this manbun. :no Guess I'm getting tired of the heat so put it up in a bun.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> :yay *sprinkles glitter all over you*


:lol



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Meanwhile, I'm over here rockin' this manbun. :no Guess I'm getting tired of the heat so put it up in a bun.


----------



## SplendidBob

My gf was talking down to me all evening (she does that sometimes), been doing it more recently, explaining stuff that is obvious in a condescending way, cutting me off when I speak, stuff like that. 

I retreated, went quiet because I felt criticised, it's what I do. Eventually I told her what the problem was, she said sorry, then she got angry, started folding **** (she does that when she is angry) and told me I should have said something earlier. That really pissed me off because I felt it was passing the buck for her behaviour onto me, i.e. "well I can't not be condescending if you don't tell me at the time". I figure, yeh, you can, just don't be condescending. I didn't want to engage with it as feeling v vulnerable so I said I was leaving and left (something I do, leaving when I feel attacked), then she shouted "don't leave", I waited by the door, and she came down and I tried to explain how I felt criticised when she blamed me for not saying something earlier, then she cut me off and snappily condescended me again with "I know", so I just left.

Ugh.

She will probably also reframe me leaving and feeling vulnerable as me "being angry" (I wasn't at all), and most likely will attempt to "open a productive dialogue" by telling me what I did wrong lol.

I just don't have the damn energy for that kind of thing.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :lol


Lol That's random...I'm random. Everything's random. :grin2:

@lily That's what sucks about meds.  You try to get help with them and some of them give you worse side effects. Partly why I dont take meds but also cause it's just another thing to have to pay for. Do you think that maybe the meds you're taking are causing depression/worsening depression? If so, maybe you could tell your doctor or your mother. Lack of motivation is a part of depression and it's a real bummer. :/


----------



## Graeme1988

Honestly: Am f__kin’ miserable, but that’s nuthin’ new.  Nay energy; cannae be arsed getting outta bed most mornings. Huv’nae managed to get a good nights sleep in nearly week. Last weekend, in fact, Sunday. After having ma dinner, ah just got ma jammies and went to bed. Disregarding the fact that it was 5 o’clock in the evening. And that was me, conked oot in ma bed within minutes.

Just feel absolutely knackered, lately.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol That's random...I'm random. Everything's random. :grin2:


From the days of ww2, but made me laugh. They loved to joke around back then.

Soooooo, I thought would make you laugh as we are related, sister from another mother.  :b

Feeling happy as are joking around.


----------



## TinyFlutter

Sleep deprived


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Terrible, poor sleep, poor diet, herb break crankiness, depression, etc


----------



## Blue Dino

Back and forth between Hopelessness and Anger. And then back and forth between Anger and Surrendered.


----------



## firestar

Exhausted. Every part of me is sore and I'm tired from being up with kitty half the night. He woke me up every few hours by pacing around the room and meowing.


----------



## SparklingWater

Sad. Confused. Resigned. Tired.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not good at all. :/ I keep hearing about shootings in apartments in this city and that scares me off of moving into one.  Ugh. I feel like crying.


----------



## twitchy666

alone since 2001


----------



## funnynihilist

It's harder to be bored in someone else's house


----------



## funnynihilist

And I feel a little nauseous


----------



## komorikun

I miss the weather in LA.


----------



## donistired

Feeling alone. Wish I had more people who want and enjoy my presence in life.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> Thanks, yeah. No I don't have depression, I just noticed a lack of motivation and of course other side effects.


Well, that's good you're notdepressed. 

And that kinda sucks. Are the other side effects minor ones? Hopefully, the meds make you feel better after a week or so. When did you start taking the meds?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> There were big ones but I'm withdrawing from it so now I have a minor one now.


That's good to hear. Now you can get back on track. :yes Good luck.


----------



## Kevin001

Exhausted/overwhelmed


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired from mental for half day, then physical for other half of day.


----------



## andy1984

I got a message on okcupid and got too excited. calm down *****. it's just a message. probably wont lead to anything. seems like a pretty attractive, intelligent person though.

now my mind wont stop going. I wonder if I said the wrong thing or failed to take the hint. troublesome.


----------



## Citrine79

Not doing well today. I am currently on vacation and up until now I have been ok, but not so much today. In a place where I thought I would be okay as far as crowded because we arrived on the early side. Uh, not so much. It is super crowded with tons of noise, screaming and other things that make me nervous. I can’t handle waiting in lines of any kind. Plus it is super hot and humid and I don’t feel great on top of high anxiety.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## CNikki

I'm not okay. I haven't been okay for at least half of my wasteful of a life. Why would I think it would ever get better? My mind is too f'ed up to even try fixing (which is impossible, no matter what I do.)

In the end, I just want everything to be okay. At least for the people who are in my life. People who truly care even if they never understood. That's all I care about at this point.

Now I'm crying...


----------



## BraceForImpact

I'm not too good. I've been in a constant state of panic recently.


----------



## komorikun

Citrine79 said:


> Not doing well today. I am currently on vacation and up until now I have been ok, but not so much today. In a place where I thought I would be okay as far as crowded because we arrived on the early side. Uh, not so much. It is super crowded with tons of noise, screaming and other things that make me nervous. I can't handle waiting in lines of any kind. Plus it is super hot and humid and I don't feel great on top of high anxiety.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Hope you didn't go to Disney World or the like.


----------



## Shawn81

Worried, as usual.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not having the best day with my pants today at work. My pants tore on the side in the upper thigh area and I didnt notice until right before I had to leave for work. Then its that time of the month and didnt know I'd have a blood stain on my pants so had to cover it up with my jacket. I think one person might have seen it. FML. :blank I'm running into all kinds of shenanigans at work recently. What next? I projectile vomit onto someone?


----------



## 8888

A bit dizzy at the moment.


----------



## Dan the man

Very hot


----------



## MinatoMatoi

Tired.

I have never worked. I don't know whats to earn money. Meanwhile my father working everyday, it makes me feel bad. I need to something to happen. Everyday all my life has been the ****ing same, nothing happens. ****ing nothing, i don't know how the world works and I'm scared about the day my father is not here anymore... I just want to feel good about something in my life. Also want to have a girlfriend obviously, would make me feel so much better and probably would help me improve myself in a lot of ways. But there is no one around me to even try that and if I find someone... I suck at talking and socializing, I don't know how could I make somenone be interested in me. Pffffffffffffffffucccccccck. The only good thing it's happening its that I'm losing weight. Everything is so ****ing stupid, fffffffff. Everyone living their lives doing stuff and I'm just here stuck in the same f***ng place my whole life. I feel so bad. I try to be possitive but nothing happens, I dont acomplish anything, absolutely anything, dont know how the world works. Some days feel fine but most I just feel weird and sad and crying and stuff. 

Jesus, this day it has been so looooong, and it's so hot.

Edit: sorry for the ****ty message and so many ****ings.


----------



## zonebox

MinatoMatoi said:


> Tired.
> 
> I have never worked. I don't know whats to earn money. Meanwhile my father working everyday, it makes me feel bad. I need to something to happen. Everyday all my life has been the ****ing same, nothing happens. ****ing nothing, i don't know how the world works and I'm scared about the day my father is not here anymore... I just want to feel good about something in my life. Also want to have a girlfriend obviously, would make me feel so much better and probably would help me improve myself in a lot of ways. But there is no one around me to even try that and if I find someone... I suck at talking and socializing, I don't know how could I make somenone be interested in me. Pffffffffffffffffucccccccck. The only good thing it's happening its that I'm losing weight. Everything is so ****ing stupid, fffffffff. Everyone living their lives doing stuff and I'm just here stuck in the same f***ng place my whole life. I feel so bad. I try to be possitive but nothing happens, I dont acomplish anything, absolutely anything, dont know how the world works. Some days feel fine but most I just feel weird and sad and crying and stuff.
> 
> Jesus, this day it has been so looooong, and it's so hot.
> 
> Edit: sorry for the ****ty message and so many ****ings.


:hug

I'm sorry dude


----------



## SplendidBob

Second time in a row I left H's.. this time in tears. Have managed to paint myself into a pretty nasty corner. This going to be ugly. Prepare yourself SAS for despair Bob .


----------



## zonebox

SplendidBob said:


> Second time in a row I left H's.. this time in tears. Have managed to paint myself into a pretty nasty corner. This going to be ugly. Prepare yourself SAS for despair Bob .


I've been out of the SAS loop for a while, and haven't kept up with everyone, but have always enjoyed seeing you around. I hope you find your way out of that corner soon SplendidBob.

A hug for you too :cuddle


----------



## SplendidBob

zonebox said:


> I've been out of the SAS loop for a while, and haven't kept up with everyone, but have always enjoyed seeing you around. I hope you find your way out of that corner soon SplendidBob.
> 
> A hug for you too :cuddle


Thanks fella .

It's an emotional nightmare now. Whatever happens I think both me and her are going to get horribly hurt and I hate it. Absolutely love her, but there is a major issue and it's something I have tried to address but she didn't seem to look into it. I ended up putting it off and off, because I wasn't in the right place to handle the fallout, and because of the time that's passed, and the feelings we have for each other, its a nightmare.

And all I can do now, is just delay again, until Friday when I speak to my psychologist and hope she has some amazing wisdom to fix this.


----------



## donistired

Very, very alone. I feel ignored by my family and friends sometimes.


----------



## donistired

MinatoMatoi said:


> Tired.
> 
> I have never worked. I don't know whats to earn money. Meanwhile my father working everyday, it makes me feel bad. I need to something to happen. Everyday all my life has been the ****ing same, nothing happens. ****ing nothing, i don't know how the world works and I'm scared about the day my father is not here anymore... I just want to feel good about something in my life. Also want to have a girlfriend obviously, would make me feel so much better and probably would help me improve myself in a lot of ways. But there is no one around me to even try that and if I find someone... I suck at talking and socializing, I don't know how could I make somenone be interested in me. Pffffffffffffffffucccccccck. The only good thing it's happening its that I'm losing weight. Everything is so ****ing stupid, fffffffff. Everyone living their lives doing stuff and I'm just here stuck in the same f***ng place my whole life. I feel so bad. I try to be possitive but nothing happens, I dont acomplish anything, absolutely anything, dont know how the world works. Some days feel fine but most I just feel weird and sad and crying and stuff.
> 
> Jesus, this day it has been so looooong, and it's so hot.
> 
> Edit: sorry for the ****ty message and so many ****ings.


I feel like I could've written this. I hope you feel better though

I know being stuck like that is not fun


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Annoyed and bummed out.


----------



## Crisigv

very low


----------



## NobodyWasHere

I feel so overwhelmed.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Don said:


> Very, very alone. I feel ignored by my family and friends sometimes.


 :rub


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hot and sweaty from the heat. Will probably end up feeling horny later on like I do every night now.


PurplePeopleEater said:


> Annoyed and bummed out.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That this is such a cool idea.






Just the box might be too tall for her to get all the wrapping.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Frail


----------



## MinatoMatoi

zonebox said:


> :hug
> 
> I'm sorry dude





Don said:


> I feel like I could've written this. I hope you feel better though
> 
> I know being stuck like that is not fun


Thank you guys. I needed to vent a little. Today is another day... I guess I have to make something good out of it and exercise or something. 
Have a good day you too.


----------



## SparklingWater

Guilty. Really noticeably afraid, insecure and uncertain. I mean, it's valuable **** to dig into, but doesn't feel great at all. Also annoyed. ToM sucks.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Anxious. Waiting at the doctor and waiting rooms make me tense up.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Sad, I crashed my plane today.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bitter.
Depressed.
Lonely.
Suicidal.


----------



## Not Human

Bored and clueless


----------



## harrison

I like how this medication makes you feel slightly out of it when you first take it again. I don't like the nausea and the reflux or how it feels when the dosage goes up.

I think I've craved that feeling of being just slightly out of it for most of my adult life.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like a stupid little girl.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Numb, crying.

My mum just died and I'm not feeling well as we were close.

I may not be able to post on here again, so this might be my last post.

I wish you all the best in your lives.


----------



## zonebox

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Numb, crying.
> 
> My mum just died and I'm not feeling well as we were close.
> 
> I may not be able to post on here again, so this might be my last post.
> 
> I wish you all the best in your lives.


That is so incredibly horrible, I am sorry for such a tragic loss. My thoughts go out to you Mondo, I hate to see anyone have to go through this.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Unsure I guess. I look like I've slimmed down some but I dont know. It might just be me thinking that.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Numb, crying.
> 
> My mum just died and I'm not feeling well as we were close.
> 
> I may not be able to post on here again, so this might be my last post.
> 
> I wish you all the best in your lives.


Oh gosh.  I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself. :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> I'm so sorry for your loss! it must be really hard for you right now.
> Though at this time it's good to think about how you spent time w/ her and the things you've helped with, the good times you've had together and her life well spent.
> I hope you come back to post but if you don't I will miss you! Thank you for your well wishes.


Thank you.

It is hard, as you see them there looking like they are asleep and reality doesn't kick in that they are not asleep, not breathing.



zonebox said:


> That is so incredibly horrible, I am sorry for such a tragic loss. My thoughts go out to you Mondo, I hate to see anyone have to go through this.


Thanks mate.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Oh gosh.  I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself. :squeeze


Thanks. :hug

People being giving me lots of hugs today.

Thank you all for your kind words, much appreciated.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Numb, crying.
> 
> My mum just died and I'm not feeling well as we were close.
> 
> I may not be able to post on here again, so this might be my last post.
> 
> I wish you all the best in your lives.


I'm terribly sorry to hear that mate - I hope you're okay.

I'll be thinking of you.


----------



## AffinityWing

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Numb, crying.
> 
> My mum just died and I'm not feeling well as we were close.
> 
> I may not be able to post on here again, so this might be my last post.
> 
> I wish you all the best in your lives.


I'm very sorry for your loss. I wish you the best. Please feel free to come back anytime if you'd like to share something.


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Numb, crying.
> 
> My mum just died and I'm not feeling well as we were close.
> 
> I may not be able to post on here again, so this might be my last post.
> 
> I wish you all the best in your lives.


 Sorry to hear about your loss, Mondo. Take care of yourself, okay? :hug


----------



## versikk

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Thank you.
> 
> It is hard, as you see them there looking like they are asleep and reality doesn't kick in that they are not asleep, not breathing.
> 
> Thanks mate.
> 
> Thanks. :hug
> 
> People being giving me lots of hugs today.
> 
> Thank you all for your kind words, much appreciated.


Requiescat in pace
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I'm terribly sorry to hear that mate - I hope you're okay.
> 
> I'll be thinking of you.


Thanks mate.

Going through stages of grieving. Numb, crying spells, etc.



AffinityWing said:


> I'm very sorry for your loss. I wish you the best. Please feel free to come back anytime if you'd like to share something.


Thank you.

Ok.



Graeme1988 said:


> Sorry to hear about your loss, Mondo. Take care of yourself, okay? :hug


Thanks mate.

Okay.



versikk said:


> Requiescat in pace
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ok.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Uncomfortable.


----------



## Crisigv

invisible
worthless
alone


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted and in desperate need of a good nights sleep


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Upsetting sitting next to a casket. :crying:


----------



## Ekardy

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Upsetting sitting next to a casket. :crying:


I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug


Thank you for your kind words. :hug



lily said:


> You're welcome, Mondo! :hug


:hug


----------



## Shawn81

A bit nauseous for some reason. Anxious.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> hehe


Sorry, I'm a bit upset today (not myself).


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> it's ok, if you want to share you can


Thank you.


----------



## Lyssia

SparklingWater said:


> So embarrassed. Just made myself look like such a pretentious douchey braggart cause of the way I said something. Ugh wish a black hole opened up and swallowed me lol. And I have to see her again tomorrow. Please let her memory be short.


I feel like this too- about every thing I said today to anyone! And yesterday. F.

Am I a bad person? Or does my anxiety have me fooled? Could I be a better person? Sure, who couldn't, but should I feel bad about who I am?


----------



## Shawn81

lily said:


> I'm so sorry to hear about how you're feeling. it must be really hard for you. I don't get anxious when I'm alone, or etc but I know how it feels to be anxious.





lily said:


> I'm waiting for a call back from a place where I've been referred to a social anxiety group to help people with social anxiety. I'm wondering if I'll get in, in September or what. Wish me good luck!


Thanks. It's probably mostly due to the heat here, coupled with panic attacks. Good luck with the group.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> you're welcome!






lily said:


> @Mondo_Fernando, Hope you have a well recovery


Thanks.


----------



## PandaBearx

Ill, I've been sick since Sunday which is super unlike me. I apparently have strep which low-key felt like the mini flu and now it's Thursday and I've been out of work for the past 3 days trying to get better with rest and antibiotics. I'm still sick af. What even are these sugar pills doing....










(I do feel a bit better in regards to fever, I just wish it was completely gone and I didn't sound like I have bronchitis- which upon further research & given my previous stuffy nose I probably have an acute case of. Fuc*)


----------



## CWe

Tired but happy'ish


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I took three fiber laxative capsules earlier. About an hour later, I ate a spoon of peanut butter and drank some coffee. I'm starting to think maybe this was not a good mix.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm in a constant state of depression, stress, worry. I'm a failure in everything I do. I want it all to end.


----------



## SplendidBob

Absolute mess, tbh. Guilty, hurt, unloved, rejected, hated, ignored, scared. Good times.


----------



## Greenmacaron

Disappointed that I spent lunch in a restaurant where we had to wait 40 minutes for our drinks to arrive. Food was delicious though and I’m happy that I had good company 🙂


----------



## Deaf Mute

From Inspired to Hell in under a week lol. I can't even sleep properly because my arm is being stupid. :l


----------



## Were

@Mondo_Fernando I'm sorry for your loss man.


----------



## Graeme1988

No too happy, if am honest. Absolutely nowt has gone right me this week. :bash


----------



## versikk

SplendidBob said:


> Absolute mess, tbh. Guilty, hurt, unloved, rejected, hated, ignored, scared. Good times.


oh man. i'm so sorry.


----------



## SplendidBob

versikk said:


> oh man. i'm so sorry.


Thanks V.

Will get through it all. Always do eh? Hope you doing ok.


----------



## harrison

Much better now the medication seems to be kicking in.


----------



## NoLife93

Drained of energy


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Were said:


> @Mondo_Fernando I'm sorry for your loss man.


Thank you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling like I'm crying everytime when see loved one in casket. :crying:

Look like they are sleeping.


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy as always.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Crappy as always.


:hug



SparklingWater said:


> Tired, headachey and scared.


:hug

:crying:


----------



## Noca

Not bad


----------



## spitfire444

grrreat


----------



## spitfire444

harrison said:


> Much better now the medication seems to be kicking in.


awesome


----------



## MinatoMatoi

I feel like I'm going to go crazy. I'm so tired of having nothing to think about, ever ,nothing good. I hate having nothing to think about when I wake up I hate having nothing to think about when I go to sleep. I hate having nothing to do all day. Just daydreaming about stupid stuff or maybe not even that. Feel like I'm going to go crazy. FFFFck.


----------



## Crisigv

Tired


----------



## Shawn81

Exhausted. Wish I could sleep.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> Why? What's wrong?


Oh, between my spare laptop malfunctioning while I was in the middle of working on installing some software. To my mother and older sister arguing. And the fact I've not had time get my room tidied out in time for getting new carpet laid.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Unwell.


----------



## Ekardy

SamanthaStrange said:


> Unwell.


 I'm sorry you're feeling unwell. :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crying after I woke up, looked at casket again (matter of days to say goodbye and can do this with natural cold storage which is better than embalming).

Just hope that they would wake up, and smile. :crying:

I feel so alone.


----------



## 3stacks

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Crying after I woke up, looked at casket again (matter of days to say goodbye and can do this with natural cold storage which is better than embalming).
> 
> Just hope that they would wake up, and smile. /forum/images/SAS_2015/smilies/tango_face_crying.png
> 
> I feel so alone.


 :hug here if you need anyone to talk to


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> :hug here if you need anyone to talk to


Thank you.

Still want them to wake up. Look like are sleeping.


----------



## Crisigv

miserable, but who cares?


----------



## andy1984

anxious today. paralysed


----------



## love is like a dream

* *


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Crying after I woke up, loo ked at casket again (matter of days to say goodbye and can do this with natural cold storage which is better than embalming).
> 
> Just hope that they would wake up, and smile. :crying:
> 
> I feel so alone.


Sorry to hear. :frown2: :squeeze

I saw my uncle in his casket at his funeral 5 years ago. It was so sad. The worst part about it is he was just getting his life together and was almost done with college. He was like 51 when he passed from a heart attack. I couldn't believe it. Still sad he's gone. I know what it's like. I was still curious to see him after he died but I almost cried when I saw his body.


----------



## andy1984

andy1984 said:


> anxious today. paralysed


managed to get out for a short walk. that's some kind of victory I guess.


----------



## lily

andy1984 said:


> managed to get out for a short walk. that's some kind of victory I guess.


That's great! Congratulations!


----------



## Deaf Mute

One step forward, two steps back :roll


----------



## andy1984

lily said:


> That's great! Congratulations!


:yay


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Sorry to hear. :frown2: :squeeze
> 
> I saw my uncle in his casket at his funeral 5 years ago. It was so sad. The worst part about it is he was just getting his life together and was almost done with college. He was like 51 when he passed from a heart attack. I couldn't believe it. Still sad he's gone. I know what it's like. I was still curious to see him after he died but I almost cried when I saw his body.


Thank you. :hug

Sorry to hear that you had to go through that. :hug



lily said:


> Yes, sorry to hear about this :squeeze


Thank you. :hug


----------



## funnynihilist

Drank a really strong morning beer. Like 7%. Now I want to drive somewhere but I have to wait for my body to process the alcohol.

Actually this is the beer here:
https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/651/6076/

Pretty good stuff, perhaps a bit dry and hoppy for my tastes but it isn't boring, I will give it that.


----------



## Crisigv

Anxious and depressed. I'm losing it.


----------



## funnynihilist

Had a $5 Whopper meal deal now just laying here waiting for the king to punch me in the innards.


----------



## Shawn81

Really bored.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Antisocial, hermetic, lazy, etc


----------



## Crisigv

I'm a hopeless mess


----------



## Ekardy

Uninspired


----------



## harrison

funnynihilist said:


> Had a $5 Whopper meal deal now just laying here waiting for the king to punch me in the innards.


The burgers definitely _are_ better at Hungry Jacks though mate. I actually quite like them. 

I'm feeling sort of trippy - I think it's a combination of my medication and lack of sleep. Plus I'm in a pretty good mood overall.


----------



## blue2

harrison said:


> I'm feeling sort of trippy - I think it's a combination of my medication and lack of sleep. Plus I'm in a pretty good mood overall.


....That's the perfect time to get drunk :yes


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> Sorry to hear about these things.


Thankfully, I've managed to get my spare laptop fixed. :yay


----------



## harrison

blue2 said:


> ....That's the perfect time to get drunk :yes


Well, it's 8:30 am here mate.  I'm not much of a drinker anymore - it interferes with my medication.

In saying that I will be having a few cold beers up in Bali soon though.


----------



## blue2

harrison said:


> Well, it's 8:30 am here mate.


...:lol ..Oh right, forgot about the time difference.


----------



## SparklingWater

* *




Silly. And proud. I just had a moment where I think someone irl may have seen my un and I'd been "found out" here, whatever that means lol. And I had a moment of panic. Oh no, I need to change my un, need to delete posts, etc. But rn, all I can think is- do I represent myself honestly? Is there anything here I'm actually ashamed of or scared to talk abt irl? No. I'm 32. My life is my own. My experience is my own. There are 7billion+ on this planet and we all have different **** going on. This site has just a sliver of some of my stuff. I'm always up to talk abt my experiences, my journey, abuse, trauma, psychology, etc. Shrug. I may go through my posts and see if there's anything really outrageous on here, but otherwise, nbd.

It really ties into a lot of the authenticity and knowing/owning myself stuff we discuss in therapy. Integrity. Being the same, no matter who's around to approve or disapprove. Not hiding, no shame- acceptance of who I am no matter what. Cause I'm ok. Some pple may get it, some pple won't. But that's life. So I'm happy it (may) have happened. Just another way to show myself I'm ok no matter what happens. The world did not end. And my initial fear response lasted all of 15 minutes whereas before it would've decimated me for weeks, if not months.


----------



## Shawn81

Like going for a drive.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Uninspired


"hugs"


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

"sigh"


----------



## SofaKing

Sad...I'm looking at a view meant to be shared...and maybe never will be.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Indecisive. I'd like to get this rad No Doubt shirt I saw online one day but I dont know. :/ It's less than 20 dollars. Not like it's much, especially for a band t shirt.


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy, miserable, depressed, stressed and anxious


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Woke on a terrible vibe but after eating and my guitar lesson I’m feeling better...my stomach however has been bubbling all day which is rather annoying and embarrassing when you have a student


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Canadian Brotha said:


> Woke on a terrible vibe but after eating and my guitar lesson I'm feeling better...my stomach however has been bubbling all day which is rather annoying and embarrassing when you have a student


My tummy did that on one of my dates after our food... yeah, cringe-worthy as hell lol


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Sad...I'm looking at a view meant to be shared...and maybe never will be.


 :rub


----------



## CNikki

Exhausted and disgusted (which could contribute towards being exhausted)...today was just something else.


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Thankfully, I've managed to get my spare laptop fixed. :yay


yay!


----------



## Shawn81

Very restless. Can't stand it.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> My tummy did that on one of my dates after our food... yeah, cringe-worthy as hell lol


Yeah, that'd be worse, no question, lol


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Upsetting sitting next to a casket. /forum/images/SAS_2015/smilies/tango_face_crying.png


I am so sorry. "rubs"


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Very anxious for various reasons.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Exhausted and disgusted (which could contribute towards being exhausted)...today was just something else.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thank you. I'm grateful to know that someone like yourself is willing to speak to me despite the mess I tend to be.


----------



## Graeme1988

Struggling at the moment... Depressed. Fat. Miserable. Mingin' and ugly as f__k !  Struggling to see the point in anything. But Cannae even be arsed gittin' oot o' bed in tha morning, lately. Can't be arsed playing my guitar, either.

And, apparently, my declining well-being is humorous. At least, ma Mum seem to thinks so. Going by her constantly laughing at me whenever I vent how ah feel.  Aye, my battles with depression n' anxiety; the fact ah huv'nae been taking proper care of myself in tha last _*two f__kin' years !* 

Hysterical, eh?_ :bash


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Thank you. I'm grateful to know that someone like yourself is willing to speak to me despite the mess I tend to be.


You're welcome.:grin2: I am glad we understand each other well enough to converse in the first place. Chat again soon.


----------



## komorikun

Irritated and pissed.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am so sorry. "rubs"


Thanks mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Just feel really lonely, now more than usual.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Depressed, lonely.


----------



## beargi

Was doing okay but today I'm back to the same place full of anxiety


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Thanks mate.


No problem friend.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> No problem friend.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Anxious about moving into the new home next month.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

:crying:


----------



## zohramaster10

I am really sorry that you are feeling this way and really do understand how painful it can be. But are you feeling bad about he/she not giving you attention or are you feeling bad about how you are interpreting it? We feel bad about the interpretations we have of things in out head of an event and not just the event itself. Things will be okay for sure, all you need to do it take the remote control of your life back which you can do by changing your perspective. I know it's easier said than done but I sincerely hope that you feel better!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Thank you.

Wondering if @discopotato is ok?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Wanderlust26 said:


> Anxious about moving into the new home next month.


Aww. :hug

Always that way up until a stressful event in life.

But you can do this.

Stay strong.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> Struggling at the moment... Depressed. Fat. Miserable. Mingin' and ugly as f__k !  Struggling to see the point in anything. But Cannae even be arsed gittin' oot o' bed in tha morning, lately. Can't be arsed playing my guitar, either.
> 
> And, apparently, my declining well-being is humorous. At least, ma Mum seem to thinks so. Going by her constantly laughing at me whenever I vent how ah feel.  Aye, my battles with depression n' anxiety; the fact ah huv'nae been taking proper care of myself in tha last _*two f__kin' years !*
> 
> Hysterical, eh?_ :bash


Sorry to hear mate. 

Maybe a walk outside might help (suggestion)?

Clear the head and get distracted by nature?


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> How is your diet? I know it can be hard to cook for some people, including myself. but I want to see how I can help. I'll PM you afterwards too.


My diet? That's pretty much back to the unhealthy state it was in before 2016. Because I'm not living on my own, my mother is now back into her old habit of dictating what I have for dinner,. More so because our nieces/grandchildren visit almost everyday. And if ah say I want something different than what my Mum planned to make that just causes an argument with my older sister. The _"Huh ! Why's he huvin' that!?"_ row...

It also a struggle to find the time to exercise like I used to, again because my nieces are visiting most days and draining my mother and I who are tasked with looking after 'em, we're both going to our beds completely knackered at the end of the day. What does my older sister do...? _Absolutely nuthin' ! Sits in the living room, staring at her phone whenever she visits.

Oh... ! And she has the nerve to say to our mother that *we* - me, my oldest sister, my oldest sister's fiancé and our mother - "don't give a $h!% and yous dae nuthin' fur me"_ :lol _Yet, we're looking after *her* kids when they visit. Mum's running after everyone making the meals. I'm the only one who even offer her any help in that regard. Which she refuses, so I don't push her as to why..._



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sorry to hear mate.
> 
> Maybe a walk outside might help (suggestion)?
> 
> Clear the head and get distracted by nature?


It would, certainly. Used to go for the odd walk before my life went tae $h!% 2 years ago. But naebuddy in my family seems to care enough to acknowledge that. It's all about them.

And the last time ah did go for a walk was when a huge argument kicked off, ah just got the usual reaction to me doing what ah want, y'know?

_"Hey !! Where d'ye think you're gan !?"
"Oot fur a walk"
"Why?"
"Tae git tha f__k away fae you lot"
"Eh... no yer no !"_

The only time I get outta the house is when my oldest sister calls and offers to take me for car ride around town. Even then, the first talking point is the family. Every time. Because I just sit there looking out the car window, looking miserable as f__k. And every time ah bring up that I'm also living in the house with our mother and ask do ah not deserve some peace n' quiet.

The response from my oldest sister is always the same: _"Aye. Ah know, ah know... but the wains (the kids) like us mair than their muther. You, in particular. And Mum needs ye"_

So, basically, I'm damned if ah do, damned if ah don't.


----------



## Citrine79

komorikun said:


> Hope you didn't go to Disney World or the like.


Nope! I could never handle Disney. Or New York City. Biggest city I have been to is Toronto and that freaked me out. I definitely have an issue with crowds and it seems to be getting worse.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## funnynihilist

Citrine79 said:


> Nope! I could never handle Disney. Or New York City. Biggest city I have been to is Toronto and that freaked me out. I definitely have an issue with crowds and it seems to be getting worse.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Went to NYC a few years ago for a day and by the end of the day I was totally burned out. I couldn't handle living there. People everywhere you look. There is no escape! It's a nice place but I don't plan on ever going back.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> It would, certainly. Used to go for the odd walk before my life went tae $h!% 2 years ago. But naebuddy in my family seems to care enough to acknowledge that. It's all about them.
> 
> And the last time ah did go for a walk was when a huge argument kicked off, ah just got the usual reaction to me doing what ah want, y'know?
> 
> _"Hey !! Where d'ye think you're gan !?"
> "Oot fur a walk"
> "Why?"
> "Tae git tha f__k away fae you lot"
> "Eh... no yer no !"_
> 
> The only time I get outta the house is when my oldest sister calls and offers to take me for car ride around town. Even then, the first talking point is the family. Every time. Because I just sit there looking out the car window, looking miserable as f__k. And every time ah bring up that I'm also living in the house with our mother and ask do ah not deserve some peace n' quiet.
> 
> The response from my oldest sister is always the same: _"Aye. Ah know, ah know... but the wains (the kids) like us mair than their muther. You, in particular. And Mum needs ye"_
> 
> So, basically, I'm damned if ah do, damned if ah don't.


Oh.  :sigh

Sometimes ye have to say it is enough wains and go for a walk.


----------



## CNikki

Like no matter what I do, it's never enough. I don't know why I continue to care.


----------



## MinatoMatoi

****ty. Alone. Like a robot who's not programmed to socialize. I feel so ****ing weird around other people, young ones, group of friends and people with relationships gf and stuff like that.
Like there are 14,000,605 multiple timelines in which that stuff happens to me in some and know how to socialize but in reality I don't know how to achieve that not even in one. 
I just feel so weird and out of this world.

But I have to stay strong I guess, and you guys too. Something good has to happen, eventually.


----------



## Crisigv

Pretty crappy


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Pretty crappy


Awww. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

CNikki said:


> Like no matter what I do, it's never enough. I don't know why I continue to care.


:hug



MinatoMatoi said:


> ****ty. Alone. Like a robot who's not programmed to socialize. I feel so ****ing weird around other people, young ones, group of friends and people with relationships gf and stuff like that.
> Like there are 14,000,605 multiple timelines in which that stuff happens to me in some and know how to socialize but in reality I don't know how to achieve that not even in one.
> I just feel so weird and out of this world.
> 
> But I have to stay strong I guess, and you guys too. Something good has to happen, eventually.


Thanks mate.

Wish for good things to happen for you in your life mate.


----------



## Shawn81

Angry that the restlessness won't stop.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Angry, depressed, & lonely


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Like no matter what I do, it's never enough. I don't know why I continue to care.


Aww! Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I hope you feel better soon. :hug :squeeze


Canadian Brotha said:


> Angry, depressed, & lonely


Aw! Sorry you are feeling this way, man. :rub


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Disappointed about these dang apartments. But yea. Maybe next year. It's not that long to wait.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Aww. :hug
> 
> Always that way up until a stressful event in life.
> 
> But you can do this.
> 
> Stay strong.


Thank you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> @Graeme1988, I agree with this. Are you able to do this?


He doesn't need anybodies approval but his own if an adult.

He is a strong, cool person.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Disappointed about these dang apartments. But yea. Maybe next year. It's not that long to wait.


As they say, good things take time.

I hope you find an apartment that suits you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Wanderlust26 said:


> Thank you.


You're welcome.


----------



## Suchness

It's one of those days where I feel more tired than usual.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Suchness said:


> It's one of those days where I feel more tired than usual.


I hope you feel better after some sleep mate.

Stay strong.


----------



## SparklingWater

Content. Happy. Indecisive.


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Oh.  :sigh
> 
> Sometimes ye have to say it is enough wains and go for a walk.





lily said:


> [@Graeme1988, I agree with this. Are you able to do this?


That's true. And it'd be easier done if it wus'nae for ma mother and older sister arguing with each other any time ah do something for myself.

_"Huh! How come *he* gets tae dae what he wants!?"_

Basically, anything I try to for myself has to be justified. Like ah huv tae explain why I want to do something. Or it'll be dismissed as _"stupid"_. So, as a result, ah don't really ask if it's awrite fur me tae going for a walk. Or ask for much, to be honest... 

Yet, my mother and both my older siblings will storm off in a huff if ah say "No" to doing something they ask of me.


----------



## Graeme1988

Quite happy... because I actually got given something to do to keep me from getting bored today.

Before my oldest sister left to go back to work, after popping in to me n’ my mother for a wee while, she told me that if ah wanted something to do then ah could help strip the paint off the stair banisters to get them ready for repainting. So, ah agreed, and did that for a wee bit after my sister went off to work. 

Felt nice to be asked to do something, rather than huvin the request sprung on me oot o’ naewhere.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> That's true. And it'd be easier done if it wus'nae for ma mother and older sister arguing with each other any time ah do something for myself.
> 
> _"Huh! How come *he* gets tae dae what he wants!?"_
> 
> Basically, anything I try to for myself has to be justified. Like ah huv tae explain why I want to do something. Or it'll be dismissed as _"stupid"_. So, as a result, ah don't really ask if it's awrite fur me tae going for a walk. Or ask for much, to be honest...
> 
> Yet, my mother and both my older siblings will storm off in a huff if ah say "No" to doing something they ask of me.


As an adult you can what you want to do. It is that simple. Not a kid anymore.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando  I found a good one. But I'm going to be smart about it and save up afterI get my tax return next year. Only apartments I can afford right now are dangerous ones. I don't think they're worth moving into. So far, my living situation here hasnt been that bad after that woman told me she'd probably kick me out. Been trying my best to talk to her every now and then. She hasn't been bothering me thank god.


----------



## Shadowweaver

Recently moved to a new apartment myself. The neighbourhood is much nicer than before, and it feels good to live on my own and no longer have to share anything with roommates!

The next moving procedure is next summer. Not looking forward to driving a rental truck across multiple states, but you've gotta do what you've gotta do.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando  I found a good one. But I'm going to be smart about it and save up after I get my tax return next year. Only apartments I can afford right now are dangerous ones. I don't think they're worth moving into. So far, my living situation here hasnt been that bad after that woman told me she'd probably kick me out. Been trying my best to talk to her every now and then. She hasn't been bothering me thank god.


Maybe she just wants some attention or someone to talk to. Sometimes bad behaviour is being afraid of something, like how she is perceived as one example.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Maybe she just wants some attention or someone to talk to. Sometimes bad behaviour is being afraid of something, like how she is perceived as one example.


Well, the old man here told me once she's scared of me. :serious: I don't know of anyone who has ever been scared of me. Lol But that's a good thing in this situation. Maybe that's why she's mostly been nice to me. :lol


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable. I don't want to exist anymore. It's so hard to live with myself.


----------



## Shawn81

lily said:


> Are you on medication? Maybe the medication is causing you restlessness. You can try kicking your legs and running.


I am on medication that doesn't help, and also go for walks. Nothing helps.


----------



## Ekardy

Shadowweaver said:


> Recently moved to a new apartment myself. The neighbourhood is much nicer than before, and it feels good to live on my own and no longer have to share anything with roommates!
> 
> The next moving procedure is next summer. Not looking forward to driving a rental truck across multiple states, but you've gotta do what you've gotta do.


Congrats on the move. :yay
I had to move my stuff from coast to coast for school and I can tell you it's an adventure. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Well, the old man here told me once she's scared of me. :serious: I don't know of anyone who has ever been scared of me. Lol But that's a good thing in this situation. Maybe that's why she's mostly been nice to me. :lol


Could be. :tiptoe. :lol :b



Crisigv said:


> Miserable. I don't want to exist anymore. It's so hard to live with myself.


Aww. :hug

Too hard on yourself.


----------



## CNikki

Longing for some things to be different. Some where there’s gloom over the fact that time is one of the worst enemies from actually giving some of those desired differences a reality. It’s as if I’m just stuck in this void and being aware enough to realize how much of it I can potentially control but just...can’t. I try my best to remain numb but it’s hard when truly thinking about it. I end up having more regrets anyway.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@CNikki

Kids?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando lol xD Well, at least it shows that I've been able to stand up for myself without hardly causing any drama. I have a no drama zone.

Feeling okayish. I asked my mother about going to see her and my dad for his birthday. It's coming up in 23 days and I'd like to see him. I think my parents have been busy cause I asked my mother twice about seeing them and she says she's been working, which I can understand. Hopefully she has that day off so I can go down there.


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> As an adult you can what you want to do. It is that simple. Not a kid anymore.


Ah know... but try telling that to my mother who still treats me like a kid. Being the youngest sibling does'nae exactly help any either. Not disagreeing with ye, Mondo. Just saying... doing what ah want would be fair bit easier if ah did'nae huv tae constantly justify my reasons for doing so. If ah did'nae huv to deal with that, plus the jealousy of my older sister and her arguing with my mother about me, I'd less hesitant about doing what ah want.

And, according to my older sister, I'm stuck in a rut because ah spend much o' ma time playing my guitar and writing music. :con


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando lol xD Well, at least it shows that I've been able to stand up for myself without hardly causing any drama. I have a no drama zone.


No drama zone engaged. :b



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feeling okayish. I asked my mother about going to see her and my dad for his birthday. It's coming up in 23 days and I'd like to see him. I think my parents have been busy cause I asked my mother twice about seeing them and she says she's been working, which I can understand. Hopefully she has that day off so I can go down there.


Spend as much time as you can with them.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> Ah know... but try telling that to my mother who still treats me like a kid. Being the youngest sibling does'nae exactly help any either. Not disagreeing with ye, Mondo. Just saying... doing what ah want would be fair bit easier if ah did'nae huv tae constantly justify my reasons for doing so. If ah did'nae huv to deal with that, plus the jealousy of my older sister and her arguing with my mother about me, I'd less hesitant about doing what ah want.
> 
> And, according to my older sister, I'm stuck in a rut because ah spend much o' ma time playing my guitar and writing music. :con


Mothers always see their kids as kids no matter the age. That is just mums in general.

Maybe need to do some writing for music for small adverts or folly work?

Lots of advertising, 3D, etc places out the looking for new, original music.


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Quite happy... because I actually got given something to do to keep me from getting bored today.
> 
> Before my oldest sister left to go back to work, after popping in to me n' my mother for a wee while, she told me that if ah wanted something to do then ah could help strip the paint off the stair banisters to get them ready for repainting. So, ah agreed, and did that for a wee bit after my sister went off to work.
> 
> Felt nice to be asked to do something, rather than huvin the request sprung on me oot o' naewhere.


I'm glad for you


----------



## Shadowweaver

Ekardy said:


> Congrats on the move. :yay
> I had to move my stuff from coast to coast for school and I can tell you it's an adventure. :b


Thanks! Yes, I can imagine.  I don't really mind long drives and even find them to be a lot of fun, but not when we're talking trucking.

At least the road is very straightforward. I'll probably be moving to Tallahassee, and from here it is almost a straight line of highways there. The entire drive can be done in a bit over a day. :boogie


----------



## mrpaperheart

I'm sad and scared. Since 2017 she's been my world. Things keep getting in the way and we spend less and less time together. She often talks about her future dreams, and I'm so happy for her, but sometimes reality tells me that I don't quite fit in said dreams. We keep trying to make it work. I keep giving her my all but she doesn't really notice sometimes. I hate holding on to things, but sometimes I miss certain things. I know that girls desire certain things, and I always wanted to be the one to give her what she needs. I'm sure others expect me to do that too. I'm confused on when to draw that line. Like when to be that "understanding guy" that gives everything, and when to acknowledge how I feel without feeling selfish. I wonder if it makes me less of a man to have certain feelings and emotions. When is it okay to be like _yeah i feel this way_...?


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Mothers always see their kids as kids no matter the age. That is just mums in general.


Ah know, ah know...

Still, it'd be nice if I was treated a bit better than my sisters. Because I'm always getting nagged at, or told I'm in the wrong for being up how arguments from them are _"tolerated"_, yet when I make a fuss about something I'm telt that it _"does'nae matter..."_ :bash



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Maybe need to do some writing for music for small adverts or folly work?
> 
> Lots of advertising, 3D, etc places out the looking for new, original music.


Writing for adverts? Folly work, maybe. But ah seriously doubt that ah huv the musical talent to write original music for adverts. Not saying in the sense that it's beneath me or anything. I just don't know if ah could write advert jiggle. It's hard enough for me to try n' write original guitar riffs or come up with an original melody on the piano. :lol



lily said:


> I'm glad for you


Thanks lily.  It might be a messy job, but at least stripping the old paint of the stair banisters of ma house gives me something to do, rather than sitting about feeling bored.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> Ah know, ah know...
> 
> Still, it'd be nice if I was treated a bit better than my sisters. Because I'm always getting nagged at, or told I'm in the wrong for being up how arguments from them are _"tolerated"_, yet when I make a fuss about something I'm telt that it _"does'nae matter..."_ :bash


Doesn't sound right.



Graeme1988 said:


> Writing for adverts? Folly work, maybe. But ah seriously doubt that ah huv the musical talent to write original music for adverts. Not saying in the sense that it's beneath me or anything. I just don't know if ah could write advert jiggle. It's hard enough for me to try n' write original guitar riffs or come up with an original melody on the piano. :lol


Cheap adverts at night (small audience). Just simple music track, no singing. Something based on a theme. Could be like sounds of a summer day, dramatic music, etc. Not hard to do if listen to similar work that can buy on CD, on internet for free sometimes, etc.


----------



## SparklingWater

Was feeling really good most of yesterday and this morn. Still feel pretty good, but something I've been worried abt the last 2 weeks just popped back up. Feel pretty indecisive abt it. I wish we could see the future. It's hard making decisions when you don't have much faith in things working out. Sigh. Well now you can consider me bummed out. Ugh.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like a leper


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Doesn't sound right.


No, it's no right. But I've just kinda accept that that's how am treated. Aye, it bothers me but every time ah make a point of acknowledging that I'm treated differently by my mother compared to how she treats my siblings, I'm _"getting on at her, picking on her"_ :argue



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Cheap adverts at night (small audience). Just simple music track, no singing. Something based on a theme. Could be like sounds of a summer day, dramatic music, etc. Not hard to do if listen to similar work that can buy on CD, on internet for free sometimes, etc.


Aye, ah could probably do that, writing to a theme. Short instrumentals. Don't know how I'd go about getting the music played in a advert, or writing music for TV adverts, though? :stu

I know it's not hard to do... Ah mean, a couple months ago, ah spent 3 days listening to songs by the American thrash-metal band Exodus to the point where I got inspired enough to try n' write a similar sounding guitar riff within 48 hours. Kinda as a joke and kinda a challenge to myself. Giving myself a rule to not play any power chords.

Anyway, long story short, ah write the guitar riff. Then, I decided to upload it to my SoundCloud account, thinking nothing more of it. And the next day, I go back on SoundCloud, and before logging in, I see the guitar riff I just wrote trending on the SoundCloud home page. :eek :rofl


----------



## Graeme1988

Well ah just found out, while watching the local news today, that someone I went to primary school with has murdered - or _murdurt somebuddy_, for anyone daft enough to read this post in Scottish accent - a Polish fella who worked at one of the local takeaways in my town. He just battered this Polish fella during a night oot at the pub. Drink was involved, obviously. Always is...

And, funnily enough, when I said "[email protected]$%@rd!" after I heard the lad's name mentioned. My Mum looked at me a bit confused and asked: "D'you know that lad?" I just said: "Aye, ah went tae primary school with him. He wus an arsehole back then as well" She then asked me if he bullied me, I just said "Aye, he did", but never went into the details when my Mum asked about extent of the bullying. Not because I didn't want to tell her, but ah did'nae want to upset her and myself by telling her about the name calling I had endure. Racial slurs, mocking my disability, etc. And I didn't confide in her at the time, something ah still feel quite guilty about to this day.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> No, it's no right. But I've just kinda accept that that's how am treated. Aye, it bothers me but every time ah make a point of acknowledging that I'm treated differently by my mother compared to how she treats my siblings, I'm _"getting on at her, picking on her"_ :argue


Maybe just avoid them and don't answer back? :stu



Graeme1988 said:


> Aye, ah could probably do that, writing to a theme. Short instrumentals. Don't know how I'd go about getting the music played in a advert, or writing music for TV adverts, though? :stu


Look for places that sell folly, music work. Usually on CD one buys or other on internet. Mainly music they onsell to software companies for editing, etc programs which are used for TV, movies, adverts, etc.

Sometimes find stores with just sound CD's hidden away in some cities, that use for projects.



Graeme1988 said:


> I know it's not hard to do... Ah mean, a couple months ago, ah spent 3 days listening to songs by the American thrash-metal band Exodus to the point where I got inspired enough to try n' write a similar sounding guitar riff within 48 hours. Kinda as a joke and kinda a challenge to myself. Giving myself a rule to not play any power chords.


Changing it up a bit to make it your own.



Graeme1988 said:


> Anyway, long story short, ah write the guitar riff. Then, I decided to upload it to my SoundCloud account, thinking nothing more of it. And the next day, I go back on SoundCloud, and before logging in, I see the guitar riff I just wrote trending on the SoundCloud home page. :eek :rofl


That is cool.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Relieved. I called my mother on the phone cause she texted me saying she had to go to the ER for a fractured arm. She fell off the bed and broke it but she sounded completely fine when I was on the phone with her other than the fact she has a hard time right now doing certain things. Good thing it didnt happen in her sleep.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Sorry to hear. 

I wish her a speedy recovery.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> Sorry to hear.
> 
> I wish her a speedy recovery.


Thanks Mondo. She tried to turn the light off while in bed then fell off. That's how it happened. It happened Sunday but she didn't let me know until today. I feel bad about it cause the past two days I've been texting her telling her I'm going out to this place or that place while she was at the ER with a broken arm. She probably didnt want to worry me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks Mondo. She tried to turn the light off while in bed then fell off. That's how it happened. It happened Sunday but she didn't let me know until today. I feel bad about it cause the past two days I've been texting her telling her I'm going out to this place or that place while she was at the ER with a broken arm. She probably didnt want to worry me.


You're welcome.

Sounds like a good mum.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@PurplePeopleEater

Aww! Poor mom!  Hope she gets better soon! :hug


----------



## Crisigv

Like a reject, failure and a horrible person.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Like a reject, failure and a horrible person.


:hug


----------



## The Linux Guy

I'm feeling sad and defeated. My learning disability puts limits on me. It doesn't matter how much I practice, once I reach my plateau I'm done.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando Thanks. She is. Was hoping to see her Monday on my day off but she said she might work that day. I'll probably try to see her before then. Even though she's okay, I feel bad about not going to see her at the very least. 
@iAmCodeMonkey Thanks. She'll get through.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando Thanks. She is. Was hoping to see her Monday on my day off but she said she might work that day. I'll probably try to see her before then. Even though she's okay, I feel bad about not going to see her at the very least.


You're welcome.

Ok.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I_Exist said:


> I'm feeling sad and defeated. My learning disability puts limits on me. It doesn't matter how much I practice, once I reach my plateau I'm done.


:rub


----------



## versikk

Ten thousand riddims, feeling eyy
Now it make the spider kiss the fly
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Maybe just avoid them and don't answer back? :stu


I do... but, unfortunately for me, my not answering back usually gets a snide remark made at my expense.



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Look for places that sell folly, music work. Usually on CD one buys or other on internet. Mainly music they onsell to software companies for editing, etc programs which are used for TV, movies, adverts, etc.
> 
> Sometimes find stores with just sound CD's hidden away in some cities, that use for projects.


Oh, thanks for that suggestion, Mondo. I'll see what I can find on eBay. 



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Changing it up a bit to make it your own.


To some extent, yeah. Though, ah did'nae consciously rip-off any one song in particular. I used the songs I'd spent days listening to as more of a guide, really, so I had a song structure in my mind when I went play my guitar. As opposed to years ago, when the idea of come up with a riff that didn't rely upon power chords seemed too daunting, and intimidating to me, that I'd come up with guitar riffs that were disjointed when I tried to make a song outta them.


----------



## Shadowweaver

lily said:


> The reason I'm so happy about going out these days is bc I've been at home from Monday to Friday  I just didn't feel like going out in the hot weather.


I'm the opposite: I can't stand anything other than a very hot weather. As soon as it drops below +90F, I feel like something is wrong with the world. 

That is provided the weather is dry. Humidity ruins everything.


----------



## Graeme1988

My mother and I are absolutely knackered from having to look after my nieces yesterday. So, needless to say we’re glad they’re going to visit their dad for a week.

Also, this weather is ridiculous. Ah mean, it’s great, but it’s too warm.


----------



## MinatoMatoi

Kind of ok. Today is going to be like any other day, excercise, watch youtube, read a book, watch youtube, maybe play my ps4 while watching youtube. Youtube really helps me a lot to not ****ing die of boredom. It helps me not feel so so lonely.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Jaded.


----------



## Repix

Rather unfocused... :cig :con :get


----------



## donistired

Anxious


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> I do... but, unfortunately for me, my not answering back usually gets a snide remark made at my expense.


Point to the butt (old Scottish battle cry, yes I'm joking). :b

But seriously would just ignore. Just trying to get a reaction. By reacting they know it gets to you.



Graeme1988 said:


> Oh, thanks for that suggestion, Mondo. I'll see what I can find on eBay.


Can find many places on the internet that sell royalty free music. But usually have to have a sample / demo reel and first 30 sec is got to catch attention, show what can do with music, equipment used to create it (could volunteer at local sound studio to get access to expenive equipment and learn how to use it).

Usually with demo reels one uses work one does over many projects to show what one can do. Getting foot in the doorway before door closes is the hard part in many industries.



Graeme1988 said:


> To some extent, yeah. Though, ah did'nae consciously rip-off any one song in particular. I used the songs I'd spent days listening to as more of a guide, really, so I had a song structure in my mind when I went play my guitar. As opposed to years ago, when the idea of come up with a riff that didn't rely upon power chords seemed too daunting, and intimidating to me, that I'd come up with guitar riffs that were disjointed when I tried to make a song outta them.


But copyright is the tricky part, as has to not sound like the track you borrow it from.

Most create a good repetitive background beat throughout song on one track and add other tracks. But I think with the Beatles, they changed that background beat (not repetitive), which made their songs interesting to listen to.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm not sure. Lol One of the guys at work told me he got laid by this one girl cause he likes her favorite band. :lol I thought this was stuff that guys told other guys. It felt weird being told this so I just laughed and said she must really like that band. Didnt know what else to say. :stu


----------



## harrison

Quite tired. My wife will want to do something today but I could easily just stay here and watch a movie or something.


----------



## CNikki

For the most of the day, pretty decent. Want to tune everything out and just enjoy the rest of this Friday night.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like I'm not liked very much right now.


----------



## Shawn81

Worried. Hot. Tired.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm not sure. Lol One of the guys at work told me he got laid by this one girl cause he likes her favorite band. :lol I thought this was stuff that guys told other guys. It felt weird being told this so I just laughed and said she must really like that band. Didnt know what else to say. :stu


Ask him did you lay beside her. :b

Sometimes planking gets mixed up with laying. :b :lol



harrison said:


> Quite tired. My wife will want to do something today but I could easily just stay here and watch a movie or something.


Hope you feel better after some sleep.

Sound a lot like Jim Richards, V8 supercar driver. Something in the diff or something he would say about his racecar.

Must be that generation and the way things are said (cool way).



CNikki said:


> For the most of the day, pretty decent. Want to tune everything out and just enjoy the rest of this Friday night.


Good to hear.



Crisigv said:


> I feel like I'm not liked very much right now.


Fiddlesticks and bricks. :hug



NPC Shawn said:


> Worried. Hot. Tired.


I hope you feel better after some sleep too.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando

Lol Planking. Life is so weird sometimes. :lol


----------



## CWe

Frustrated and angry to the point that it's giving me chest pains...... hate it


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando
> 
> Lol Planking. Life is so weird sometimes. :lol


Men like to brag, so just make it look like bragging about something funny.

Just the way guys talk, for laughs and all sometimes.

Just can't take life seriously sometimes.


----------



## crystalkerosene

anxious duh. super sleepy yawning with tears rolling down my eyes but for some reason i dont want to go back to bed. wtf.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling that the F14 Tomcat made Top Gun what is was.






Just that period in time before the Tomcat was retired.

Charlie was just so beautiful in that movie and the romantic scenes took my breath away. Especially the motorcycle scene at 2:44+. :sigh


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

crystalkerosene said:


> anxious duh. super sleepy yawning with tears rolling down my eyes but for some reason i dont want to go back to bed. wtf.


:hug


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Point to the butt (old Scottish battle cry, yes I'm joking). :b
> 
> But seriously would just ignore. Just trying to get a reaction. By reacting they know it gets to you.


Thanks, man. That genuinely made me laugh. :lol And ah need a good laugh after the past couple days...

Yer right, ah should just ignore. But it's quite difficult to not say anything when my lack of reaction at their snide remark just get a laugh and "Look at him..." comment. Thankfully, though, I've got my guitar to channel all that frustration into.



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Can find many places on the internet that sell royalty free music. But usually have to have a sample / demo reel and first 30 sec is got to catch attention, show what can do with music, equipment used to create it. Usually with demo reels one uses work one does over many projects to show what one can do. Getting foot in the doorway before door closes is the hard part in many industries.


Well, my set up is pretty basic at the moment. A laptop, an audio interface and a MIDI controller keyboard. My guitars. Still need to invest in a pair of monitor speakers and a mixer. I suppose.I could make a demo reel out of some of the tracks I've already recorded. I've made quite a few instrumentals in the past 2 years...



Mondo_Fernando said:


> (could volunteer at local sound studio to get access to expensive equipment and learn how to use it).


There is a recording studio in my local area, but I don't know if they allow folk to volunteer at the place. I think you just pay for studio time and record yer music.



Mondo_Fernando said:


> But copyright is the tricky part, as has to not sound like the track you borrow it from.


Yeah, I know the whole copyright issue is tricking to navigate. But am no that much o' lazy [email protected]$%@rd to lift a riff from a song I like note for note n' try to pass it off as my own. And the riff I wrote is in a different key and a higher tempo, so it does'nae sound any like the songs I've been listening to. Maybe it sounds like that a riff the band I've been listening to could've wrote? But that's about it...



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Most create a good repetitive background beat throughout song on one track and add other tracks. But I think with the Beatles, they changed that background beat (not repetitive), which made their songs interesting to listen to.


Ah huv'nae really wrote the drum beat yet, got a rough idea of what I want the drums to do. Once I get a few riffs down that go together, I'll make start of figuring out what I want the drums to do. And try n' keep it interesting.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Usual, outcast & exhausted


----------



## thomasjune

Not bad. Having a relaxing day today.To bad Monday is right around the corner. :\
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Hope you feel better after some sleep.


Thanks mate - not too bad today, I think it's just this silly medication of mine. Plus of course I'm getting old - can't do much about that. 

Hope you're doing okay.


----------



## Crisigv

ready for the end


----------



## 3stacks

Super hungry which is all the damn time now lol no wonder a side effect of these pills is diabetes


----------



## Deaf Mute

Melancholic, "sad eyes", probably scared and overwhelmed in the back of mind. I sense I still have 2-3 more major tragedies ahead of me perhaps.

Why did I have to **** up so much? Is there really free will though? What if all the options available to you are ****?

I feel so pathetic and scared sometimes, especially when I go out, it's like one big ant nest and some of us are just anticipating being squashed all the time... But we're the ones that kill each other. 

Some of us can't handle this society.

I just can't believe how mean people can be to others for no signification reason, the prejudice and discrimination. It seems commonplace to bully people and make fun of them, "roast" them for the public too. Don't they feel bad for capitalizing on another person's embarrassment? Also making that person's life more difficult. :/


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> Thanks, man. That genuinely made me laugh. :lol And ah need a good laugh after the past couple days...


You're welcome.

Lucky I didn't mention kissing the blarney (spelling?) stone in Ireland (Celtic humour). :b



Graeme1988 said:


> Yer right, ah should just ignore. But it's quite difficult to not say anything when my lack of reaction at their snide remark just get a laugh and "Look at him..." comment. Thankfully, though, I've got my guitar to channel all that frustration into.


Just say look at her. Oh, I mean the female cat over there (points to blank space). Made ya look. :b



Graeme1988 said:


> Well, my set up is pretty basic at the moment. A laptop, an audio interface and a MIDI controller keyboard. My guitars. Still need to invest in a pair of monitor speakers and a mixer. I suppose.I could make a demo reel out of some of the tracks I've already recorded. I've made quite a few instrumentals in the past 2 years...


A mixer on a screen (sound editing program) can be used with decent headphones (DJ headphones that knock out surrounding sound).



Graeme1988 said:


> There is a recording studio in my local area, but I don't know if they allow folk to volunteer at the place. I think you just pay for studio time and record yer music.


Wouldn't hurt to ask, as they might mention some things or people to talk to.



Graeme1988 said:


> Yeah, I know the whole copyright issue is tricking to navigate. But am no that much o' lazy [email protected]$%@rd to lift a riff from a song I like note for note n' try to pass it off as my own. And the riff I wrote is in a different key and a higher tempo, so it does'nae sound any like the songs I've been listening to. Maybe it sounds like that a riff the band I've been listening to could've wrote? But that's about it...


Oh, ok.



Graeme1988 said:


> Ah huv'nae really wrote the drum beat yet, got a rough idea of what I want the drums to do. Once I get a few riffs down that go together, I'll make start of figuring out what I want the drums to do. And try n' keep it interesting.


Just from music I had to create for media projects. Most of it is premade sounds that can mix (fade in, fade out) until get a tune on the timeline in sound editing program.

Add reverb for room atmosphere, broadcast levels, etc.



harrison said:


> Thanks mate - not too bad today, I think it's just this silly medication of mine. Plus of course I'm getting old - can't do much about that.
> 
> Hope you're doing okay.


You're welcome.

Still grieving, feel like something is missing when looking at people go about their day. But trying to remember the happy times to avoid being depressed.



Crisigv said:


> ready for the end


:hug

So the movie was that bad, so the end of the movie must happen? :O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Empty, alone.

Not feeling good at all.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Empty, alone.
> 
> Not feeling good at all.


Have a good night's sleep mate - might feel a bit better in the morning hopefully.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Empty, alone.
> 
> Not feeling good at all.


This might cheer you up a bit mate - a new series on Channel 2 based on some quite funny books by an old Aussie called Robert G Barrett. His books are pretty silly but a bit of fun - set mostly in the Cross in the '80's.

Definitely brings back a few memories. Good for a laugh.


----------



## SplendidBob

So exhausted now. Going to my **** GP tomorrow for basically no reason as far as I can tell, they won't be able to help me. Therapist in the evening, she wont either.

Am trapped.

1. Health problems, including relentless fatigue
2. Relationship problems. Am screwed if that ends, and screwed if it doesn't. Wish I hadn't gotten involved.
3. Course stress
4. WTF I do with my life after my course, since the old phobias still just as strong
5. OCD lurking and its associated depression, which basically acts as a perma stress top up, to make sure I can't ever avoid relentless stress.

Just exhausted by everything.


----------



## Citrine79

Nervous, edgy, hangry, uncomfortable. I have to stop going to places with crowds. I cannot deal with them at all right now especially today. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## versikk

woke up, anxious and disappointed, but still was pretty productive for about 5 hours today.

and now i feel a lot better after smoking weed.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Empty, alone.
> 
> Not feeling good at all.


:rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Have a good night's sleep mate - might feel a bit better in the morning hopefully.


A bit better, but still feel empty.



harrison said:


> This might cheer you up a bit mate - a new series on Channel 2 based on some quite funny books by an old Aussie called Robert G Barrett. His books are pretty silly but a bit of fun - set mostly in the Cross in the '80's.
> 
> Definitely brings back a few memories. Good for a laugh.


It is a good laugh. Thank you for that and your kindness.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub


Thanks mate.


----------



## andy1984

pretty content today. actually been happy and feeling kind of amazing last week or so. I guess the few dates I've been on have been nice. mostly probably the change is good. my brain has been pretty starved of interesting things for quite a while.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> A bit better, but still feel empty.


It's a hard thing to come to terms with mate - but as hard as it is to believe, it will get a bit better with time.


----------



## 3stacks

Genetically challenged lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious. Hot.


----------



## SparklingWater

Physically like ****. Hot, fat, headachey, toothachey. Emotionally feel pretty good, peaceful. Def not looking forward to work or the dentist this week though, ugh. Does feels really good to have consistent income that I can manage tho. It's not my dream, the pay ain't great, but it's something.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> It's a hard thing to come to terms with mate - but as hard as it is to believe, it will get a bit better with time.


That is what people keep telling me and from being through so many deaths I know to be true.

But when very close to them it really hurts the most.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> That is what people keep telling me and from being through so many deaths I know to be true.
> 
> *But when very close to them it really hurts the most*.


Yes that's definitely true mate. I was very close to my Mum too - and extremely upset when she died about 13 years or so ago.

Eventually it will ease a bit and you'll be able to focus on other things in your life again, which will in turn make you feel a bit better too.


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless garbage. That's all I'll ever be.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hot, peckish.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yes that's definitely true mate. I was very close to my Mum too - and extremely upset when she died about 13 years or so ago.
> 
> Eventually it will ease a bit and you'll be able to focus on other things in your life again, which will in turn make you feel a bit better too.


In this case I'm under the impression that she died at the hands of others, which until those responsible are in jail, don't feel safe.



Crisigv said:


> Worthless garbage. That's all I'll ever be.


No way. :hug

Way, way too hard on yourself.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Hot, peckish.


Lots of rain downunder.

But sounds like a spicy metaballa mate. :b


----------



## Deaf Mute

Was lying in bed thinking about some old memories and feeling salty about stuff and how my self-worth was so bad at the time that I had to apologize to other people for them not doing their job... and then thinking I'm that lower than dirt. 

Like holy ****. Peopel are so ****, I wish I valued myself more back then to be by myself and just do things on my own.


----------



## versikk

Crisigv said:


> Worthless garbage. That's all I'll ever be.


your sense of value only comes from within

and i know it's hard to realise, but you aren't worthless.


----------



## 3stacks

Crisigv said:


> Worthless garbage. That's all I'll ever be.


 Yeah me too


----------



## 3stacks

First panic attack in a while so I'm feeling amazing of course


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Disappointed in people. This girl at work was making fun of some heavyset girl shes related to. She was laughing about it to the managers while I was around. Didnt expect that from her. Shes not even one of those snobby girls, either. 

When (not if), I become even more talkative, I will never be like that and I'll be one of the most understanding people when it comes to SA.


----------



## Ekardy

Feeling blue. I do okay now (for the most part) but sometimes I catch myself feeling lonely. It’s just for a brief moment, a passing wave. But it’s there.


----------



## CNikki

3stacks said:


> First panic attack in a while so I'm feeling amazing of course


Ugh, they are the worst. I went for years without one until some time the beginning of this year I was on the verge of one. It's not a good place to be.

:hug


----------



## harrison

Today I feel about 60 years old - which is unfortunately what I am. God I'm knackered.


----------



## rdrr

I have a headache right now because I have eaten very little


----------



## Suchness

Better than yesterday, I feel like I'm over the dark cloud that was following me around. Damn, I feel like the son of Sam.


----------



## illusion_of_happiness

I feel like I've gone back in time.


Also incompetent because I either posted two intro threads or none at all. Seems to be none at all. Huh. Leave it to me.


----------



## Suchness

illusion_of_happiness said:


> I feel like I've gone back in time.
> 
> Also incompetent because I either posted two intro threads or none at all. Seems to be none at all. Huh. Leave it to me.


How far back in time do you feel like you've gone to?


----------



## illusion_of_happiness

Suchness said:


> How far back in time do you feel like you've gone to?


2011 or so? I posted regularly here many moons ago. :time


----------



## Suchness

illusion_of_happiness said:


> 2011 or so? I posted regularly here many moons ago. :time


That's a long time.


----------



## Shadowweaver

There is a few SA groups in Chicago. Thinking of coming over to one of their events next week to get to know some folks. Pretty excited!


----------



## rdrr

rdrr said:


> I have a headache right now because I have eaten very little


I still have a headache after taking something. Seeing the aura and nausea to go with it. Today is just not my day I guess. Its been going well with the frequency of getting them now but no matter how I try to combat it, something else will always trigger it.


----------



## 3stacks

CNikki said:


> Ugh, they are the worst. I went for years without one until some time the beginning of this year I was on the verge of one. It's not a good place to be.
> 
> :hug


:hug yeah they just suck


----------



## 3stacks

Like I'm always everybody's backup option and always second best literally time and time again it happens. Not bothering with anyone anymore now because everyone online seems to hurt me lol. At least my irl friends don't.


----------



## Crisigv

Same as always. Miserable.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Dying to perform but there's no private groups that suit my situation atm since I don't want to see people I know lol.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Headache. Hot. Depressed. Grumpy. :bah


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Disappointed and hurt.


----------



## CNikki

Splendid.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Same as always. Miserable.


:hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Disappointed and hurt.


:hug


----------



## funnynihilist

Awful


----------



## InnerAnimal

taking it day by day, some good days, some bad days.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Rough & lowdown


----------



## harrison

Feeling good today - plus I actually feel awake which is always a nice start to the day.


----------



## rdrr

ok i guess. it is just another day of the week


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling empty, lonely.


----------



## versikk

I'm gonna get thru this fuxking thing
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Shadowweaver

lily said:


> I woke up late today so I ate everything late and it screwed things up. Now I have to sleep later  but I'm going to try to have a nice day tomorrow (that is today, lol)


I woke up at 2:30 pm today. The perks of not having a fixed working schedule...


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thank you. :hug



lily said:


> I woke up late today so I ate everything late and it screwed things up. Now I have to sleep later  but I'm going to try to have a nice day tomorrow (that is today, lol)


So today is tomorrow?

It is the next day here.

Hi from the future. :b


----------



## Greenmacaron

Embarrassed about my performance in job interview this morning. One of the interviewers seemed unhappy about my presence. I wanted the ground to swallow me up 😳


----------



## Shadowweaver

lily said:


> Oh so I have a partner, lol. I/we have to change but it's hard for me for now only.


Can't promise to fulfil my part of the pact. It's 8:20 AM, and I'm still awake. :b


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Just a bit tired from my anxiety driving into my old town to see my mother and dad. Its busier there than I remembered. And I went to Chik-Fil-A with my mother. Felt like I got a few weird looks but I got over it quickly and shook it out of my mind since I was with her but I acted like I couldn't think straight. Guess I was paranoid that there mightve been people there that knew me or something. Idk. But my mother wasnt doing too bad. I could tell she was glad to see me. Helped her make milkyway ice cream, which was really easy. My dad was playing If You Seek Amy by Britney Spears for my niece. What the hell. What a random but not so bad day. :lol

My dad seems to be talking to me more and more. Especially this time. Only thing is I'm trying too hard around my family that I end up being real tense and an awkward mess. But this was the most I've talked to my dad since I was like 13 years old. :S


----------



## donistired

I hate myself, and I'd rather not wake up tomorrow.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Sounds like an awesome day.


----------



## Crisigv

Disappointed and sad


----------



## andy1984

super relaxed. had to clean up after flatmates again and that spilled over into cleaning my room. so was a bit pissed but now ok. just have to listen to music loud enough so that i can't hear them.


----------



## Disheveled and Lost

Suchness said:


> Better than yesterday, I feel like I'm over the dark cloud that was following me around. Damn, I feel like the son of Sam.


I also sometimes feel like there is a dark cloud over my head. What are you going through right now? Instead of typing like brief summations (big word hehe) it might help if we both talk about what we are going through. Maybe through the art of fighting without fighting, we could find some type of resolution in all of our lives, you know


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Hi  :lol


Hi.

Feeling like I'm part of this movie, sending a message back or forward in time.


----------



## Eleonora91

I'm still recovering from my last meltdown two days ago. I feel much better but I know I will have to deal with that again eventually. Thanks to my mental and physical health it feels like I'm walking on eggshells (or, most likely, sharp knives).


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Sick to my stomach... I have no choice but to find full-time work, even if it kills me. And I want to work! Buttttttt the thought of being out of my “safe zone” for that long, every day, day after day after day... not sure how I’m gonna be able to handle it.


----------



## 3stacks

Hungry. I want junk but I'm broke lol


----------



## Kevin001

Hot...this southern heat is brutal.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando Thanks.  It was both anxiety inducing but good at the same time. Glad my mother's doing okay. 
@lily Thank you.  Trying to make the best of things.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando Thanks.  It was both anxiety inducing but good at the same time. Glad my mother's doing okay.


You're welcome.

With what you said you have been through, makes sense why you are anxious. Good exposure thearpy.

Good to hear that your mum is doing ok.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling that the women in the background are having a good time dancing to this song.






When feel sad it brightens ones day a little bit.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling that want to be in the 70's so can dance with those classy women.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

:crying:


----------



## SparklingWater

Sad... and a teensy bit hopeful. Definitely grieving, but there's a new thing happening underneath these tears.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SparklingWater said:


> Sad... and a teensy bit hopeful. Definitely grieving, but there's a new thing happening underneath these tears.


:hug


----------



## Ckg2011

Alone and like I am not worthy of anyone's love. :cry


----------



## andy1984

incredibly relaxed, like i'm not even a person. i'm a plant.


----------



## Graeme1988

Tired, and quite sad... Worried about my mother well-being. Just in terms o’ the $h!% she has to put with on a daily basis. In the last 3 years, her telling me how she cannae wait until she’s dead have became more frequent.


----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## Canadian Brotha

Upset with family


----------



## versikk

Slight levity right now , just in time for Friday. May the gods of Friday be my Friday brain in Friday power.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## lily

andy1984 said:


> incredibly relaxed, like i'm not even a person. i'm a plant.


wow, how do you get to that state?
Today was quite a good day for me.


----------



## andy1984

lily said:


> wow, how do you get to that state?
> Today was quite a good day for me.


start by putting down roots :smile2:


----------



## lily

andy1984 said:


> start by putting down roots :smile2:


well that doesn't help me much :lol jk
but seriously, what do you mean by roots? Thank you


----------



## andy1984

lily said:


> well that doesn't help me much :lol jk
> but seriously, what do you mean by roots? Thank you


was just joking. meaningless. idk how to get happy


----------



## lily

andy1984 said:


> was just joking. meaningless. idk how to get happy


oh it was a funny joke though. lol I'm sorry to hear that you don't know how to get happy.  I don't know you so I can't try to help. What issues do you have. You can PM me if you'd rather not say it here.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> With what you said you have been through, makes sense why you are anxious. Good exposure thearpy.
> 
> Good to hear that your mum is doing ok.


Thanks Mon. 

Yea, that's true. I had a decent time regardless. Will hopefully be going back for my dad's birthday soon. He turns 62 years old.

I could tell her arm was still in some pain but she didnt wear her cast the whole time I was there. Then my sister showed up at the house. I said hey to her but it looked like she gave me a mean look and I felt uncomfortable and more awkward. :S I'm sure it was nothing but my anxiety around her would've eased if she was more friendlier with me. I left not long after she got there.


----------



## Blue Dino

Every thing I have always enjoy doing and distracts me from my worries, is beginning to feel pointless and menial, even when I am doing them. It makes me question myself of why I would even want to get out of bed every day. But then if I don't, it will only trigger more problems. Thus I need to just hide it by enduring it with a forced smile and cheerfulness while I am the complete opposite on the inside.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks Mon.
> 
> Yea, that's true. I had a decent time regardless. Will hopefully be going back for my dad's birthday soon. He turns 62 years old.
> 
> I could tell her arm was still in some pain but she didnt wear her cast the whole time I was there. Then my sister showed up at the house. I said hey to her but it looked like she gave me a mean look and I felt uncomfortable and more awkward. :S I'm sure it was nothing but my anxiety around her would've eased if she was more friendlier with me. I left not long after she got there.


You're welcome.

Good to hear you had a decent time with family.

A cast shouldn't slide off. :sus

Sounds like she was having a bad day and didn't want to talk hence the aggressive attitude. Basically don't take it personally.


----------



## versikk

Burn.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel awful, physically and emotionally.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> Good to hear you had a decent time with family.
> 
> A cast shouldn't slide off. :sus
> 
> Sounds like she was having a bad day and didn't want to talk hence the aggressive attitude. Basically don't take it personally.


Well, she shouldn't be rude to me. That's not right.


----------



## 3stacks

I feel quite heart broken. I don't cry much but damn I am today lol


----------



## Ekardy

SamanthaStrange said:


> I feel awful, physically and emotionally.


 I'm sorry you're feeling this way. :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ekardy said:


> I'm sorry you're feeling this way. :squeeze


Thank you.


----------



## Eleonora91

.


----------



## spitfire444

Itz fairly COMPLICATED and INGENIOUS - but let's try ...

Matters of fact are such -

1. ) Positive thinking and think, "Don't have plague or rikkits"

2.) . Not USA

3.) The summer is here and the moon is THERE.

4. Pepsi Zero sugar (tastes foul)

5. See above

6.) See below (the donkey region, which is shaved like a wall-bucket.

7.) Has to have a sponsor so leave blank

8. ) All of the agreed things from DT (red hair and an orange tan is ....)

9. ) give up

10. )


----------



## andy1984

very anxious today. waiting for my date. idk. not feeling into it today at all. raining, mall is busy. I guess I'll be fine. shakey, which is kind of annoying. focus on breathing.

ok super awkward hug. she's gone to get coffee


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> I feel awful, physically and emotionally.


Poor Sammy.  :hug :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Poor Sammy.  :hug :squeeze


Thank you.


----------



## Crisigv

god help me, i've reached my breaking point. something is going to happen


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thank you.


No problem.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Well, she shouldn't be rude to me. That's not right.


It is not right social etiquette wise.

I have seen it before with people when stressed out and next time you meet them they are not like that. Stress makes people act in ways they normally wouldn't.

If it is consistant pattern of behaviour, there is sometimes a cause.

All you can do is control your own behaviour towards them. Can't control others behaviour.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Hearing my mum say she was worried about me and she loved me. :crying:

I still can't understand why another woman would murder her.

She put me to shame in how loving, kind she was.

Even when didn't have much she would still give what she had to the less fortunate.

I miss her lots. :crying:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thank you. :hug :crying:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Aw I like your affection and you're welcome  Wish you a quick recovery :hug


Thank you. :hug


----------



## blue2

Haven't had as bad a day as this in a while, think I'm just gonna try to go to sleep.


----------



## Graeme1988

Still a bit taken aback by something ah witnessed the other day.

Long story short, two o' ma relatives got into long back n' fourth argument over the price of a first class. _A f&#8230;kin' stamp ! Nay word o' a lie !_ And I'm kinda stuck in the middle, keeping quiet cuz ah nearly said summit that would caused things to get outta hand.

Cuz ah very nearly said: _"Aw, here, then ! F&#8230;kin' post it yersel' if money such an issue !"_

Basically, they reinforced why I rarely socialise with ma family as a group.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> Sorry to hear that.


Och ! To be honest, am more than used to it, sadly.  Used to the arguments; used to be told I'm wrong when they know full well my point is valid, but refuse to acknowledge it. I've gave up trying to the _"sensible yin (one)"_ of the family. I just get a mouthful of abuse, anyway. Told to eff off... but they'll get offended at me swearing at them? :con :rofl At least there's some wee snippets of comedy still left within this dysfunctional family drama. If nothing, my mother laughs about it, in between her venting to me. But then, I've got little choice but to listen, since she can't express how she feel to her daughters without that turning to an full on, door slamming, argument.



lily said:


> it's Sunday tomorrow! :yay


:yay :lol


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Lonely


:hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Disappointed that this guy at work talks behind everyone's back so I know he talks about me behind my back. I dont like people like that. He was talking about this other coworker he works with saying he needs help so I'm sure he says something about me like how I'm so far gone inside my head. Lol Its awkward talking to him now.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Disappointed that this guy at work talks behind everyone's back so I know he talks about me behind my back. I dont like people like that. He was talking about this other coworker he works with saying he needs help so I'm sure he says something about me like how I'm so far gone inside my head. Lol Its awkward talking to him now.


Can always say Molly the packer packed it wrong (Molly doesn't exist) and say jokes. :b :lol

So if he says it to someone else, yeah. :b :lol


----------



## komorikun

Stuffed. And it wasn't very good. Leftover curry from my work lunches. Since I didn't work Friday there was some left. Made it 6 days ago too.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Can always say Molly the packer packed it wrong (Molly doesn't exist) and say jokes. :b :lol
> 
> So if he says it to someone else, yeah. :b :lol


More like Molly the drug dealer. :haha

I could try that. Lol I honestly get nervous around him even though he's like 6 years younger than me cause he acts that much like an authority figure. I want nervous around him before until I heard him talking behind their backs.


----------



## crystalkerosene

uhh super anxious because I have a chance at my dream job and my social anxiety is Ducking me over. Duck this Shi+!


----------



## Suchness

Feel better after my little nap.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> More like Molly the drug dealer. :haha
> 
> I could try that. Lol I honestly get nervous around him even though he's like 6 years younger than me cause he acts that much like an authority figure. I want nervous around him before until I heard him talking behind their backs.


Probably the type to take it seriously, so probably not a good idea with the dealer.

Molly the packer is safer, taking above into account.

Why I say that as some people I have found to not get those type of jokes and take it seriously.

Men, women can be just as goosipy, bossy as each other.


----------



## SparklingWater

Relieved I slept really well today. Needed some restorative, reparative sleep. Have been running on fumes lately.


----------



## 3stacks

Alone and bored


----------



## Ekardy

Tired


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Tired


:hug :squeeze



Canadian Brotha said:


> Tired


:rub


3stacks said:


> Alone and bored


:rub


----------



## Ekardy

@iAmCodeMonkey thank you  :squeeze


----------



## CNikki

I haven't felt this anxious over anything and everything for a long time. I'm just annoying people I talk to because of it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Probably the type to take it seriously, so probably not a good idea with the dealer.
> 
> Molly the packer is safer, taking above into account.
> 
> Why I say that as some people I have found to not get those type of jokes and take it seriously.
> 
> Men, women can be just as goosipy, bossy as each other.


Lol I was joking. I definitely wouldn't be stupid enough to say that. :grin2:


----------



## SpartanSaber

eh


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Enraged at my family


----------



## Crisigv

I don't feel wanted. And it makes me feel worthless.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Well, I ate some vegetable sou that tasted like heaven. So I'm feeling decent.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

CNikki said:


> I haven't felt this anxious over anything and everything for a long time. I'm just annoying people I talk to because of it.


:hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol I was joking. I definitely wouldn't be stupid enough to say that. :grin2:


Aha. :b :lol



Crisigv said:


> I don't feel wanted. And it makes me feel worthless.


:hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Well, I ate some vegetable sou that tasted like heaven. So I'm feeling decent.


:O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That I want to dance to this song.






:yes


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> I haven't felt this anxious over anything and everything for a long time. I'm just annoying people I talk to because of it.


:hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Meow. :O :whip


----------



## Deaf Mute

Broken and disabled... this year might be the worst soon or the best... always at both extremes..


----------



## Graeme1988

Nuthin' is every f&#8230;kin' good enough ! Ma family, hey... Urgh ! :mad

Ah print off my older sister this return label for some clothes she bought, but did'nae like. Ah did'nae complain, or swear. Or go: _"Take ye cannae be arsed spending £30 pounds and buying yer ain printer, no?" None o' that !_

And, instead of thanking me for doing what she'd asked, she whinges about: _"Is that the only size labels you've got?"_ She then squints at it to read it, after me printing it off and goes: _"Are ye sure that'll be awrite? It's awfy wee, is it no?"_ Trying not to lose ma temper, I just responded, matter of fact,, saying: _"As long as scanner at the post office scans it, it'll be fine"_ But, oh no, she hud complain to oor mother about it. :bash

Even though ah really wanted to say: "_Well, ah cannae buy labels that are oot o' stock, cun ah?! Those were the only that were available, cuz ah need to get labels that are compatible wae the software ah used to print labels"_, when she started moaning about the label being too wee...

But I'm still lazy, good-for-nothing, inconsiderate [email protected]$%urt, apparently... Still ! Even though I tend to do everything ma family asks of me, and not make a fuss aboot it.

Despite me being more than justified in going: _"F&#8230;ck off n' dae it yersel', ye lazy c&#8230;t!"_ Since they've had a tendency to give me excuses whenever I ask them to do things for me, or help me.


----------



## SplendidBob

Ugh, relationship over. This is going to sting so much. Feel so lonely already.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SplendidBob said:


> Ugh, relationship over. This is going to sting so much. Feel so lonely already.


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SplendidBob said:


> Ugh, relationship over. This is going to sting so much. Feel so lonely already.


Damn...  :rub


----------



## Lohikaarme

Like I am daring to press my foot on an icy lake and the ice is starting to crack.


----------



## harrison

Knackered.


----------



## CNikki

Really zoned out.


----------



## spacemacaroni

wishing i didn't have emotions, honestly.


----------



## Crisigv

Same. No relief


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Really great actually, although a tad bit worried I bothered someone but other than that, I'm all good.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Okay-ish, kind of hot. Blame the space heater that doubles as a computer, lol.



CNikki said:


> Really zoned out.


 Aww. :hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

The Condition of Keegan said:


> Really great actually, although a tad bit worried I bothered someone but other than that, I'm all good.


Nice!


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Nice!


Thank you! And I hope you yourself are doing well too.


----------



## LK8341

I feel sad


----------



## Deaf Mute

I want to fking die... I can't wait to die. I don't want to exist. I hate myself so much, I can't accept myself and I hate having to live with it.


----------



## versikk

I wish I could reply to everyone here but hey, a person only has so much empathy =|
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

:crying:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Empty, like something is missing in my life.

Also mentally tired.


----------



## Deaf Mute

I want to fking die so much, I can't do anything, why doesn't anything ever work out. I can see my whole life and it's rubbish but I don't want to live through it all ffs. I'm just lying in bed waiting to die.

I get so anxious and extremely mad at my parents, why tf did you bring me into this world only to bring me immense suffering. i fking hate my family. I fking hate myself. I fking hate myself.f i cant stand it.

this year probabvly maybe the worst year of my life, oh wait i've still got the rest of my life to exist which seems to only be getting more **** each passing year.... fk me (hard) so i cant feel anything anymore i hate myself






_"And this is just the sad version of us"_






I knew I was going to have a sad life, I always knew...im fking broken please i want to be freei dont want to be here anymore


----------



## Ekardy

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Empty, like something is missing in my life.
> 
> Also mentally tired.


 I'm sorry :squeeze

I was just about to write the same thing. For the last two days I've been feeling overwhelmed and lonely. I've been feeling incomplete.


----------



## SplendidBob

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sorry to hear mate.





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Damn...  :rub


Thanks guys.

It's been tricky. She is the first woman I ever loved, and it's frustrating that a potentially fixable issue was the reason. But, it's just too stressful for her, so I totally understand why. I think we will both remain friends.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> I'm sorry :squeeze


Thank you for ýour kind words. :hug



Ekardy said:


> I was just about to write the same thing. For the last two days I've been feeling overwhelmed and lonely. I've been feeling incomplete.


Sorry to hear that. :hug

Usually that lonely feeling is a signal to socialize to feel less lonely.

I would normally visit my mum and check on her and that feeling would disappear for a little bit (she was worried about me too). Just realise one can't do that anymore and feel empty, numb, lost which makes me cry like I'm doing now.

What makes it harder is found out her life was taken by another human being (woman) and had years more to live. Just don't understand what was going through that woman's mind when they did that.



SplendidBob said:


> Thanks guys.
> 
> It's been tricky. She is the first woman I ever loved, and it's frustrating that a potentially fixable issue was the reason. But, it's just too stressful for her, so I totally understand why. I think we will both remain friends.


You're welcome.

I hope it works out as friends and wish you both the best.


----------



## harrison

SplendidBob said:


> Thanks guys.
> 
> It's been tricky. She is the first woman I ever loved, and it's frustrating that a potentially fixable issue was the reason. But, it's just too stressful for her, so I totally understand why. I think we will both remain friends.


Sorry to hear Bob - hope you're doing alright.


----------



## funnynihilist

Stomach ache. Think I got some bad nuggets.


----------



## f1ora

i feel extremely conflicted and overall lonely. I didnt think my 20s would start out so dysfunctional


----------



## Ekardy

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Thank you for ýour kind words. :hug
> 
> Sorry to hear that. :hug
> 
> Usually that lonely feeling is a signal to socialize to feel less lonely.
> 
> I would normally visit my mum and check on her and that feeling would disappear for a little bit (she was worried about me too). Just realise one can't do that anymore and feel empty, numb, lost which makes me cry like I'm doing now.
> 
> What makes it harder is found out her life was taken by another human being (woman) and had years more to live. Just don't understand what was going through that woman's mind when they did that.


Oh I'm so sorry. :squeeze You can never really know what was going in someones mind when they do something negatively. You're never going to forget but little by little, as time goes by you'll be able to forgive (at least that's what you hope for) and just remember the good memories with your mom.

As for me, I have been, to an extent, socializing but its like that feeling; you're in a room full of people but still feel utterly alone. It also doesn't help that I haven't been able to travel this past year because of health issues. That's what used to help me put life into perspective, seeing the bigger problems than my own. Hopefully end of this year, if the doc gives me an all clear, I'll be able to travel (even if it's within this country).


----------



## 3stacks

I feel blehhhhhh


----------



## harrison

I feel like I'm about to ****ing explode.

Slightly elevated in other words. I'd better stay home today.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Like I want to do more than two things at once. Lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

f1ora said:


> i feel extremely conflicted and overall lonely. I didnt think my 20s would start out so dysfunctional


:hug



Ekardy said:


> Oh I'm so sorry. :squeeze You can never really know what was going in someones mind when they do something negatively. You're never going to forget but little by little, as time goes by you'll be able to forgive (at least that's what you hope for) and just remember the good memories with your mom.


Ok.

Thank you again for your kind and wise words, hug. :hug



Ekardy said:


> As for me, I have been, to an extent, socializing but its like that feeling; you're in a room full of people but still feel utterly alone.


Might be like you said, are missing someone special in your life that get attached to emotionally.



Ekardy said:


> It also doesn't help that I haven't been able to travel this past year because of health issues. That's what used to help me put life into perspective, seeing the bigger problems than my own. Hopefully end of this year, if the doc gives me an all clear, I'll be able to travel (even if it's within this country).


Sorry to hear that.

Hoping you make that recovery, so can travel. :hug



3stacks said:


> I feel blehhhhhh


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I feel like I'm about to ****ing explode.
> 
> Slightly elevated in other words. I'd better stay home today.


That reminds me of this little guy when he goes nuts over nuts. :O








PurplePeopleEater said:


> Like I want to do more than two things at once. Lol


Need to have a twin. :b


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> That reminds me of this little guy when he goes nuts over nuts. :O


I thought I woke up feeling really good for some reason. And it's really weird - I was just thinking yesterday all this talk about bipolar is just a load of bull****, I hadn't been manic for ages.

Then today when I see the unrest up in Hong Kong my first thought is to grab my passport and go up there to have a look.

Probably not a good idea though.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I thought I woke up feeling really good for some reason. And it's really weird - I was just thinking yesterday all this talk about bipolar is just a load of bull****, I hadn't been manic for ages.
> 
> Then today when I see the unrest up in Hong Kong my first thought is to grab my passport and go up there to have a look.
> 
> Probably not a good idea though.


Probäbly right.

The reporter on TV was wearing a gas mask when Police were about to use I think was tear gas.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Probäbly right.
> 
> The reporter on TV was wearing a gas mask when Police were about to use I think was tear gas.


Yeah, that whole situation's not going to end well mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yeah, that whole situation's not going to end well mate.


They supposedly are using strong mixed tear gas.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> They supposedly are using strong mixed tear gas.


Yeah, they're firing into the crowds at very close range too. One lady will probably lose her eye - I think she got a tear gas cannister fired into it.

It's a very difficult situation - I have sympathy for them but they shouldn't be causing all this madness at the airport. Innocent people could get hurt.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yeah, they're firing into the crowds at very close range too. One lady will probably lose her eye - I think she got a tear gas cannister fired into it.
> 
> It's a very difficult situation - I have sympathy for them but they shouldn't be causing all this madness at the airport. Innocent people could get hurt.


A very crazy situation.



CNikki said:


> Like some things are just too far gone and it's getting harder to numb myself from the pain and regret. All I am really thinking about is wanting to have someone here and relax with to temporarily have my worries subside, but the person in mind is too far away anyway.
> 
> I'm too detached. Perhaps a bit far gone now.


:hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando Or three hands. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando Or three hands. :b


Or four to get a good measure. :b


----------



## Deaf Mute

I want to fking not exist, I hate myself and I hate my life. I hate this, I hate being such a piece of fking trash.


----------



## versikk

Deaf Mute said:


> I want to fking not exist, I hate myself and I hate my life. I hate this, I hate being such a piece of fking trash.


sorry you feel this way.

hate is basically just misguided shame/guilt.


----------



## SparklingWater

Tired.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SparklingWater said:


> Tired.


I hope you feel better after some sleep.


----------



## Graeme1988

Let’s see...

Ah hate masel’. Hate ma life. Hate ma family. Business as per f…kin’ usual wae me, folk.

Getting really f__kin’ seek o’ hearing my older sister complain about how $h!%* her life has been since having kids. Same ol’ self-pitying, narcissistic “How d’ye think ah feel... ?! Ah cannae cope ! Naebuddy cares!” pish. Day in, day oot, nearly. Which, to me, isn’t argument when yer expecting yer mother, uncle and auntie to look after and babysit yer kids. 

It also makes me question why these self-absorbed, egotistical c…nts — sorry, I meant wimmin — bother huvin kids nowadays, when they seem mair interesting in social media than their own family.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Okay-ish. Jittery from too much coffee on an empty stomach this morning. Plus I need my eye drops again lol


----------



## harrison

Graeme1988 said:


> Let's see...
> 
> Ah hate masel'. Hate ma life. Hate ma family. Business as per f&#8230;kin' usual wae me, folk.
> 
> Getting really f__kin' seek o' hearing my older sister complain about how $h!%* her life has been since having kids. Same ol' self-pitying, narcissistic "How d'ye think ah feel... ?! Ah cannae cope ! Naebuddy cares!" pish. Day in, day oot, nearly. Which, to me, isn't argument when yer expecting yer mother, uncle and auntie to look after and babysit yer kids.
> 
> It also makes me question why these self-absorbed, egotistical c&#8230;nts - sorry, I meant wimmin - bother huvin kids nowadays, when they seem mair interesting in social media than their own family.


Not meaning to be rude mate - but couldn't help but smile at all that, especially the part about your sister. That's some pretty impressive anger, almost puts mine to shame.  Nice work.

Take care anyway.


----------



## Eleonora91

The last 2 days have been an emotional rollercoaster to say the least. I had a meltdown yesterday after a whole day of being out with my dad and feeling good. Had to take benzodiazepines twice on top of my anxiety medication. I can see now why they say they're addictive. Gonna take one now because I'm starting to feel anxious-ish and my self-image has been **** during the last days so I'm feeling like absolute crap. There's not much that could cheer me up right now.


----------



## harrison

Eleonora91 said:


> The last 2 days have been an emotional rollercoaster to say the least. I had a meltdown yesterday after a whole day of being out with my dad and feeling good. Had to take benzodiazepines twice *on top of my anxiety medication.* I can see now why they say they're addictive. Gonna take one now because I'm starting to feel anxious-ish and my self-image has been **** during the last days so I'm feeling like absolute crap. There's not much that could cheer me up right now.


Do you mind if I ask what you take for the anxiety (apart from the benzo)? Is it an SSRI?

(and you're right about the benzos - I was heavily addicted to Xanax for a long time. I must admit I take a bit of Valium nowadays again though but only now and then. As long as you don't start taking them all day every day you should be okay)


----------



## Eleonora91

harrison said:


> Do you mind if I ask what you take for the anxiety (apart from the benzo)? Is it an SSRI?
> 
> (and you're right about the benzos - I was heavily addicted to Xanax for a long time. I must admit I take a bit of Valium nowadays again though but only now and then. As long as you don't start taking them all day every day you should be okay)


No it's not - it's pregabalin (Lyrica) which was prescribed to me as an anti-anxiety medication on top of a medication for neuropathic pain.


----------



## harrison

Eleonora91 said:


> No it's not - it's pregabalin (Lyrica) which was prescribed to me as an anti-anxiety medication on top of a medication for neuropathic pain.


Oh okay - yeah a doctor was going to prescribe that for me once but I didn't want extra meds at the time. That's one I haven't tried yet.


----------



## Ekardy

Freaking out. Just entered a new doctors office and I’m uncomfortable. 

I miss my old doctor, been with him for over a year and he understood my anxiety so never made me wait long. But he moved and now I’m here. Hope all goes well.


----------



## 3stacks

Eleonora91 said:


> The last 2 days have been an emotional rollercoaster to say the least. I had a meltdown yesterday after a whole day of being out with my dad and feeling good. Had to take benzodiazepines twice on top of my anxiety medication. I can see now why they say they're addictive. Gonna take one now because I'm starting to feel anxious-ish and my self-image has been **** during the last days so I'm feeling like absolute crap. There's not much that could cheer me up right now.


 :hug you look good brah


----------



## 3stacks

Super sad and lonely. My two regulars


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Freaking out. Just entered a new doctors office and I'm uncomfortable.
> 
> I miss my old doctor, been with him for over a year and he understood my anxiety so never made me wait long. But he moved and now I'm here. Hope all goes well.


Wish that all goes well with this new doctor.


----------



## SunshineSam218

Right now, I'm feeling happy! c:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Super sad and lonely. My two regulars


Sorry to hear.


----------



## blue2

Feeling ok.


----------



## Crisigv

On the border of okay and sad. I know how it'll go.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Okay-ish. Jittery from too much coffee on an empty stomach this morning. Plus I need my eye drops again lol


Some gingernuts are good for upset stomachs and sea sickness.


----------



## Ekardy

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Wish that all goes well with this new doctor.


Thanks.  I actually liked the doctor, she was really nice. Her staff though. :no
I just get really nervous when I go into someplace new for the first time and not knowing how things work and where things are. My anxiety is kicked up to 10000% at that point.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Thanks.  I actually liked the doctor, she was really nice. Her staff though. :no


You're welcome.

Usually women that deal with kids are the best doctors, as know how to speak in a certain way (good bedside manner as they say).



Ekardy said:


> I just get really nervous when I go into someplace new for the first time and not knowing how things work and where things are. My anxiety is kicked up to 10000% at that point.


It is the same with most people who have anxiety. Just what we all have to face when dealing with stressful situations. So you are not älone with that.

One of those screw it and do it sort of way of thinking to get over the hurdle of being afraid to not go.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That want to go back to the 80's.

:yes


----------



## harrison

Mild coldy/fluey thing but definitely not crazy like yesterday. Don't know where the hell that come from.


----------



## Crisigv

Just plain awful, like predicted. And feeling so alone with my thoughts and emotions.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Mild coldy/fluey thing but definitely not crazy like yesterday. Don't know where the hell that come from.


Been coldish a lot. Or due to overheating.



Crisigv said:


> Just plain awful, like predicted. And feeling so alone with my thoughts and emotions.


Sorry to hear. :hug


----------



## Wanderlust26

Anxiety-ridden still....


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Wanderlust26 said:


> Anxiety-ridden still....


:hug


----------



## Eleonora91

3stacks said:


> :hug you look good brah


You know it's all in my mind


----------



## Graeme1988

harrison said:


> Not meaning to be rude mate - but couldn't help but smile at all that, especially the part about your sister. That's some pretty impressive anger, almost puts mine to shame.  Nice work.


No offence taken. Though, am no sure if ah should take pride in your compliments regarding my anger? Aye, it's the good ol' ragin' Scotsman temper in full effect. But ah doubt you'd be saying: _"F__kin' hell, Graeme, son. That's a helluva an impressive rage yer channeling there ! And ah thought the Incredible Hulk wus an angry [email protected][email protected]%!"_, after witnessing that in person? Well, ah take that back slightly. Ye might be impressed by the insults and sarcasm.

My anger probably does put your anger to shame by comparison, Harrison. Since, living with a dysfunctional family for over 30 years will make ya *that* angry. Imagine living with someone who constantly nitpicks at everything you say and do, and must always have the last word in argument that mainly consists of them shouting 99% of the time. _F__k! It's enough to get ye sectioned, put on meds and flung in a padded room._

Kinda goes without saying that it's a good thing ah huv ma "$h!%*" rock and metal music, as well as my guitars, as a release for my anger.



harrison said:


> Take care anyway.


Thanks, man. I do my best to take care of myself, despite the $h!tty situation I'm caught in the middle of.


----------



## Deaf Mute

versikk said:


> sorry you feel this way.
> 
> hate is basically just misguided shame/guilt.


----------



## versikk

I feel pretty peaceful today. Nice.

On my way home from the dentist. Gonna eat pizza, pop viagra and fuxk myself silly <3
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## versikk

Deaf Mute said:


>


:squeeze
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SplendidBob

Eh, waves of sadness, and okness. Less tears. Still have urge to put her back on Whatsapp and see if she has logged on, resisted so far (no point). 

First bit is the hardest, all those memory cues remind of her.


----------



## harrison

Graeme1988 said:


> No offence taken. Though, am no sure if ah should take pride in your compliments regarding my anger? Aye, it's the good ol' ragin' Scotsman temper in full effect. But ah doubt you'd be saying: _"F__kin' hell, Graeme, son. That's a helluva an impressive rage yer channeling there ! And ah thought the Incredible Hulk wus an angry [email protected][email protected]%!"_, after witnessing that in person? Well, ah take that back slightly. Ye might be impressed by the insults and sarcasm.
> 
> My anger probably does put your anger to shame by comparison, Harrison. Since, living with a dysfunctional family for over 30 years will make ya *that* angry. Imagine living with someone who constantly nitpicks at everything you say and do, and must always have the last word in argument that mainly consists of them shouting 99% of the time. _F__k! It's enough to get ye sectioned, put on meds and flung in a padded room._
> 
> Kinda goes without saying that it's a good thing ah huv ma "$h!%*" rock and metal music, as well as my guitars, as a release for my anger.


Glad that didn't offend you at all mate. I think I was in a pretty weird mood when I wrote that. I've been manic over the last day or so but have calmed down now. The way I react to things sometimes is sort of off a bit - I'm not sure I understand it.

I wanted to add though - even after I wrote that last post - was that I wasn't happy to see the bit where you said you hate yourself. I never like to see that on here. You seem like a nice young guy - just caught in a very stressful situation, with a family that's slowly driving you nuts.

I can't remember if I've asked you about this before - but there isn't a way to get out of there? I'm sure it would be hard at first but in the long run you'd probably feel better - you won't have people putting you down all the time.


----------



## harrison

SplendidBob said:


> Eh, waves of sadness, and okness. Less tears. Still have urge to put her back on Whatsapp and see if she has logged on, resisted so far (no point).
> 
> First bit is the hardest, all those memory cues remind of her.


It's a horrible thing to go through Bob but it'll slowly get easier. Might take a while though, there's no point in bull****ting you.

I had something in that other post that I deleted because I thought at the time it sounded a bit insensitive and was probably not appropriate to say right now - it was that as hard as it is to believe it right now, there will be other people. You can have all that again - with someone else.

Like I say - it will be strange thinking that now, and probably not something you maybe even want to hear, but it's true. There's a lot of people out there mate, and you can do all those things you did before again.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

This heat had my face sweating. I could feel the sweat droplets forming on top of my head and rolling down my face. It gets hot in my vehicle even with the windows rolled down. Should've put my hair up. Then I wouldn't look like a tomato in public with a red face. xD But my face isn't hot anymore so that's good.


----------



## SplendidBob

harrison said:


> It's a horrible thing to go through Bob but it'll slowly get easier. Might take a while though, there's no point in bull****ting you.
> 
> I had something in that other post that I deleted because I thought at the time it sounded a bit insensitive and was probably not appropriate to say right now - it was that as hard as it is to believe it right now, there will be other people. You can have all that again - with someone else.
> 
> Like I say - it will be strange thinking that now, and probably not something you maybe even want to hear, but it's true. There's a lot of people out there mate, and you can do all those things you did before again.


Yup. Been there before with fake internet romance. Not the same deal, because no sexytimes or actual proper intimacy, but because I am me I felt even that very hard.

I learned a lot from that, though. It's almost like with break ups, especially when you really care about the person, there are "pain hours" and you just have to go through them. It's unavoidable, you just have to feel that pain and get through it. So I am not really trying to avoid it this time.

My biggest problem is going to be trying to get back with her, though, and thinking there is still hope for a reunion. Any attempts to do so temporarily set back the pain hours.

Its ok re insensitivity Don, not insensitive at all. I hope you are right.


----------



## Graeme1988

harrison said:


> Glad that didn't offend you at all mate. I think I was in a pretty weird mood when I wrote that. I've been manic over the last day or so but have calmed down now. The way I react to things sometimes is sort of off a bit - I'm not sure I understand it.


Nay worries... Besides, ah wus'nae pissed off enough to take umbrage with your reaction to my post. 



harrison said:


> I wanted to add though - even after I wrote that last post - was that I wasn't happy to see the bit where you said you hate yourself. I never like to see that on here. You seem a nice young guy - just caught in a very stressful situation, with a family that's slowly driving you nuts.


Self-esteem issues, pal. Sorry ya don't like to hear folk saying they hate themselves. Sadly for me, ah hud to internalise 2 contradictory narratives coming from my mother and older sister in formative years. Being praised one moment, then having to hear my mother say: _*"All* men are [email protected]$%@!*$"_ Then go: _"...except you, son"_ Or! if I did something wrong, she'd tell me that I was just like my dad. Violent. Abusive. And absent until ah wus 15 - but I digress...

Yer right about ma family, though. And they huv a tendency of laughing at the fact I'm being driven nuts. My oldest sister even hud the nerve to joke that we'll _"probably no see ya much if ye move oot ?_

And my mother becomes manipulative whenever I mention me possibly moving out. Crying at the thought of having to put up with my sisters for the remainder of her days. Because I'm the only one who isn't a judgmental c__t towards her, like my sisters are. I don't nag her about much. I also do as I told when she asks me to do something for her.

Yet, ironically, I'm the inconsiderate, cold, uncaring arsehole - or that's how I seem to be perceived.

Why my nieces like me... _f__k knows !_ :con :stu



harrison said:


> I can't remember if I've asked you about this before - but there isn't a way to get out of there? I'm sure it would be hard at first but in the long run you'd probably feel better - you won't have people putting you down all the time.


I applied to my local housing department for a place of my own 2 years ago, around October 2017. Got put pretty high up on the waiting list for a place, because I submitted my medical info regarding my disability. Haven't heard anything since. :|


----------



## Eleonora91

I'm doing so much better today. It's all about enjoying the little moments.
While my anxiety is better I still struggle with my ED and had terrible food cravings today. If only my family stopped buying/baking/cooking lots of unnecessary food it would be so much easier to resist the temptations.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

My neighbors aren't home being loud, so I'm enjoying the silence.


----------



## harrison

Had a sore throat, slightly fluey feeling for about 3 days now. Stayed home for the first day because I was mad as a hatter, then yesterday because of the "flu." Need to go out today because I can't stand this skim milk anymore.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling not bad. I seem to be getting compliments more and I think its cause I've been smiling more. Maybe I'm coming off as more confident. Maybe my SA is becoming less in public and I dont even realize it. But it still gets pretty bad at times so not sure what it is. Could be my bit of weight I lost, too or both.


----------



## Crisigv

Like garbage


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted and I’ve not done anything much in days


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Had a sore throat, slightly fluey feeling for about 3 days now. Stayed home for the first day because I was mad as a hatter, then yesterday because of the "flu." Need to go out today because I can't stand this skim milk anymore.


Wrap throat with scarf. I find it helps a little bit.

Wish you a good, safe trip to get some milk.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feeling not bad. I seem to be getting compliments more and I think its cause I've been smiling more. Maybe I'm coming off as more confident. Maybe my SA is becoming less in public and I dont even realize it. But it still gets pretty bad at times so not sure what it is. Could be my bit of weight I lost, too or both.


I think smiling.



lily said:


> I had an ok day today. I took a shower, made organic fresh fruit smoothie, replied to a PM and don't know if I offended anyone  Tomorrow I'm going out though


Awesome.

I think you are ok, not offended anyone.



Crisigv said:


> Like garbage


Awww. :hug



Canadian Brotha said:


> Exhausted and I've not done anything much in days


Maybe stressed and lack of sleep? Or depressed?

I hope you find the cause to find a way to feel better mate.


----------



## Ekardy

Like ****. It's past midnight and my allergies kicked in, possibly from my dog. He was out all day and probably covered in pollen.

Can't stop sneezing. :dead


----------



## funnynihilist

Blah

Sent from my SM-S327VL using Tapatalk


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ekardy said:


> Like ****. It's past midnight and my allergies kicked in, possibly from my dog. He was out all day and probably covered in pollen.
> 
> Can't stop sneezing. :dead


Aww. :hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SplendidBob said:


> Eh, waves of sadness, and okness. Less tears. Still have urge to put her back on Whatsapp and see if she has logged on, resisted so far (no point).
> 
> First bit is the hardest, all those memory cues remind of her.


Been there. Hang in there dude.  :rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> Like ****. It's past midnight and my allergies kicked in, possibly from my dog. He was out all day and probably covered in pollen.
> 
> Can't stop sneezing. :dead


I find that dust around the house makes one sneeze. Vacuuming floor stops it.

So one is thinking dog rolled on dusty ground.

But could be wrong.



funnynihilist said:


> Blah
> 
> Sent from my SM-S327VL using Tapatalk


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Wrap throat with scarf. I find it helps a little bit.
> 
> Wish you a good, safe trip to get some milk.
> .


Thanks mate - just did a quick trip to the city to get a few things and having lots of hot lemon and honey.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - just did a quick trip to the city to get a few things and having lots of hot lemon and honey.


You're welcome.

Thät is good to hear.


----------



## SplendidBob

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Been there. Hang in there dude.  :rub


Thx sir.

Yeh, its probably annoying having me bleat on about it soon hah. Its strange, when in the middle of it it feels unbearable, like it wont ever end, but afterwards it does heal and we get through it. Ho hum. Am sortof viewing this as an exercise in pain tolerance, and using it as fodder for meditation lol.


----------



## Suchness

SplendidBob said:


> Thx sir.
> 
> Yeh, its probably annoying having me bleat on about it soon hah. Its strange, when in the middle of it it feels unbearable, like it wont ever end, but afterwards it does heal and we get through it. Ho hum. Am sortof viewing this as an exercise in pain tolerance, and using it as fodder for meditation lol.


Good things come to those who masturbate, I mean meditate.


----------



## harrison

I feel sort of good. Have just spent about an hour talking to a lady that was my girlfriend about a thousand years ago. She was my gf when I was 25 - I lived in Germany with her for a while and we almost had a baby together. It's so weird talking to someone from that long ago, but I'm getting more used to it now. It was quite nice.


----------



## Greenmacaron

I’m feeling like a failure. Failed driving test for second time and I’ve just been in a miserable mood all day. I think my bad energy is affecting others and I hate myself for it ☹


----------



## harrison

Like I've got a mild flu - it's revolting.


----------



## Crisigv

Horrible


----------



## Graeme1988

Well, ah just got duped outta £100 quid by an eBay seller who sold me a DIY guitar kit. They failed to mention they chipped some of the finish off the fretboard, around 19 fret. _Nice tae know, they take pride in yer work._. Thankfully, though, I can still return it for a refund. So, at least I can get my money. Still, not particularly happy that the kit arrived damaged.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Nervous for my job interview next week. Going to study for it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Nervous for my job interview next week. Going to study for it.







:yes


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Like I've got a mild flu - it's revolting.


Sorry to hear mate. 



Crisigv said:


> Horrible


Awww. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Content


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Suchness said:


> Good things come to those who masturbate, I mean meditate.


Atta boy. :lol :haha


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sorry to hear mate.


Thanks mate - it's not too bad, just enough to stop me from doing things and feeling pretty crappy. Lucky I had the flu shot so it shouldn't get too bad. It's been a bad one this year.


----------



## harrison

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Atta boy. :lol :haha


You have a nice voice mate - I heard it on that other thread.  Nice accent.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - it's not too bad, just enough to stop me from doing things and feeling pretty crappy. Lucky I had the flu shot so it shouldn't get too bad. It's been a bad one this year.


You're welcome mate.

Seen quite a few people, young, old with colds this year.

Hope the cold goes away quickly.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :yes


Haha, thanks!

And about the smiling thing, I think I have been smiling more. :smile2: It really does wonders. Even had a man that retired from the military talking to me at work for like 20 minutes today. He just started talking about the military and I said that I thought about it before then said it doesnt seem like my kind of thing. But he was going on about it saying that he thinks I could do it. Lol But Idk. I've thought about it a few times but never was really interested in it. It sounds too rough for someone like me. Only reason why I considered it before is cause of the benefits and wouldn't need too many qualifications for getting in but not something I was ever serious about. Cant see me doing that at all.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Haha, thanks!
> 
> And about the smiling thing, I think I have been smiling more. :smile2: It really does wonders. Even had a man that retired from the military talking to me at work for like 20 minutes today. He just started talking about the military and I said that I thought about it before then said it doesnt seem like my kind of thing. But he was going on about it saying that he thinks I could do it. Lol But Idk. I've thought about it a few times but never was really interested in it. It sounds too rough for someone like me. Only reason why I considered it before is cause of the benefits and wouldn't need too many qualifications for getting in but not something I was ever serious about. Cant see me doing that at all.


You're welcome.

GI Purple (instead of GI Jane).  :b


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> GI Purple (instead of GI Jane).  :b


:lol

Honestly dont want to go to college and they say military is the best thing to go into if you dont go to college. Just doesn't seem ideal for me. :b The man said he was thinking about getting a woman that was in the military to come talk to me at work about it. :blush Hope that wont be awkward. I told him that I wouldn't mind talking to her cause it cant hurt to...I guess. It was his idea but Idk. I'd be away from my parents and my room for months being around people all the time and getting yelled at during training. Yikes. :lol

I'll probably have to just consider college. I talked to my dad about me doing something with computers then he briefly mentioned going into Cybersecurity and I said I looked into it but again, Idk. Not sure yet what the future holds. It's too much to think about.


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

a little tipsy. It's national rum day and I'm doing it up lol


----------



## Ekardy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> :lol
> 
> Honestly dont want to go to college and they say military is the best thing to go into if you dont go to college. Just doesn't seem ideal for me. :b The man said he was thinking about getting a woman that was in the military to come talk to me at work about it. :blush Hope that wont be awkward. I told him that I wouldn't mind talking to her cause it cant hurt to...I guess. It was his idea but Idk. I'd be away from my parents and my room for months being around people all the time and getting yelled at during training. Yikes. :lol
> 
> I'll probably have to just consider college. I talked to my dad about me doing something with computers then he briefly mentioned going into Cybersecurity and I said I looked into it but again, Idk. Not sure yet what the future holds. It's too much to think about.


I have a degree in computer engineering but I'm currently working in cybersecurity. Depending how and where you work it's a bit liberating since you don't really have to socialize as much as a regular job. It also depends what exactly you do in said field. For example, I do contract work so it's really just me remotely. It's been working for me (social anxiety wise) until I'm able to get the courage and work for my dream company. So I'm definitely rooting for you and that since there aren't a lot of women in the computer field still.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Ekardy said:


> I have a degree in computer engineering but I'm currently working in cybersecurity. Depending how and where you work it's a bit liberating since you don't really have to socialize as much as a regular job. It also depends what exactly you do in said field. For example, I do contract work so it's really just me remotely. It's been working for me (social anxiety wise) until I'm able to get the courage and work for my dream company. So I'm definitely rooting for you and that since there aren't a lot of women in the computer field still.


Thanks for the encouragement.  I know it wont be easy but it shouldn't require a lot of math, which I'm not that good at to save my life. I think what I need is encouragement to make me feel more confident in myself. And I'm going to talk to my dad some more about it. It's kind of nerve wracking but good to get out of your comfort zone. Anxiety and school dont mix well so I'm trying to be more confident first so that'll make school easier for me.

They have Cybersecurity jobs at a military base in my city so I think it would be a good opportunity. I used to have horrible anxiety when I went to a technical school so I'm hoping this time it'll be different.

Good luck to you. I saw one of your posts before about something related to your job. But I didnt know you were working in Cybersecurity. That's cool. :laugh:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> :lol
> 
> Honestly dont want to go to college and they say military is the best thing to go into if you dont go to college. Just doesn't seem ideal for me. :b The man said he was thinking about getting a woman that was in the military to come talk to me at work about it. :blush Hope that wont be awkward. I told him that I wouldn't mind talking to her cause it cant hurt to...I guess. It was his idea but Idk. I'd be away from my parents and my room for months being around people all the time and getting yelled at during training. Yikes. :lol
> 
> I'll probably have to just consider college. I talked to my dad about me doing something with computers then he briefly mentioned going into Cybersecurity and I said I looked into it but again, Idk. Not sure yet what the future holds. It's too much to think about.


From what I understand, military helps to pay for courses, so don't have to.

I would do a find your niche thing before deciding on any direction. Many how to's out there on the internet, or talk to recruiting company that deals with anxious people or people with disabilities.

Usually find that your niche is something that you like to do routinely, easy to do (education would be easy, get high marks), but never thought there was a job for it sort of thing.

Once find your niche, then find a course to match and job to match after that. Like planning your career. Some parents teach this and have connēctions in the industry so easy to get a job at end of it.

But can get those connections yourself if visit the businesses that do that sort of work (sometimes can get an assistant position, learn that way part time before education or job).


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> From what I understand, military helps to pay for courses, so don't have to.
> 
> I would do a find your niche thing before deciding on any direction. Many how to's out there on the internet, or talk to recruiting company that deals with anxious people or people with disabilities.
> 
> Usually find that your niche is something that you like to do routinely, easy to do (education would be easy, get high marks), but never thought there was a job for it sort of thing.
> 
> Once find your niche, then find a course to match and job to match after that. Like planning your career. Some parents teach this and have connēctions in the industry so easy to get a job at end of it.
> 
> But can get those connections yourself if visit the businesses that do that sort of work (sometimes can get an assistant position, learn that way part time before education or job).


Okay.  Thanks. It's still a lot to consider but I'm definitely leaning towards Cybersecurity over the military. I did my research but would like to do more research on it. It's good to know a lot about the specific job you want to go into before actually studying for it. Still have to apply to see if I can get into a school, which shouldn't be hard if I'm going to a technical school. But I have to be dedicated. I already told someone on the phone about it earlier. She said I could live with her while going to school but dont think that's a good environment for me to study. But she said she'll put in a word for me to someone about it. Im actually kinda considering it this time. I know my dad wants me to go back to school and he was mad when I dropped out years ago. So this will make up for it. I'm doing it for me, though. I'm honestly getting tired of the little bit of money I'm making now. It gets old. Hope I stick with it this time and keep. Doing my research and dont put it off for months again like the last time. I know my dad wants me to go back and he once said that he hopes I go back to school before he dies.


----------



## Shadowweaver

@PurplePeopleEater

Keep in mind that computers, like most other things, aren't for everyone, and you really should make sure that this is something you enjoy doing before enrolling. My best friend spent 4 years studying programming as an undergrad, and in the end switched to archaeology, because programming wasn't her thing at all. I personally adore programming, and that's most of what I do professionally nowadays - but not everyone is the same. 

My brother is finishing his undergrad program in something related to Cybersecurity, although I believe with an economical focus. I'll ask him for details; he seems to enjoy it, but considering other career venues as well.

The army... That I wouldn't recommend, but that's just me.  It is pretty hard to build a civilian career after the military service, with all the years spent and all.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

harrison said:


> You have a nice voice mate - I heard it on that other thread.  Nice accent.


Thank you!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shadowweaver said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> Keep in mind that computers, like most other things, aren't for everyone, and you really should make sure that this is something you enjoy doing before enrolling. My best friend spent 4 years studying programming as an undergrad, and in the end switched to archaeology, because programming wasn't her thing at all. I personally adore programming, and that's most of what I do professionally nowadays - but not everyone is the same.
> 
> My brother is finishing his undergrad program in something related to Cybersecurity, although I believe with an economical focus. I'll ask him for details; he seems to enjoy it, but considering other career venues as well.
> 
> The army... That I wouldn't recommend, but that's just me.  It is pretty hard to build a civilian career after the military service, with all the years spent and all.


Lol I have a lot of experience with computers but not specifically for what I need to go to school for. Realistically, I'm limited to finding something I "enjoy" in the STEM fields but it's called work for a reason so best to just stick with this and try to make it a little fun. Plus, these are jobs in high demand. I'll take a high demand job over something I can find to enjoy. Usually jobs a lot of people enjoy seem like they're not in high demand. I was thinking about going into Entomology but realistically, I'd have to go to an expensive school so gotta consider costs and everything. Theres nothing for Entomology around here and that was like my "dream job". You could probably say I sound negative when it comes to schooling but I dont think theres anything I'd actually enjoy especially with having anxiety. If I spend too much time thinking about what I want to do I'll be like 40 years old cause school takes long enough as is. :lol Technology is probably the best thing for me but thanks.  Still better than working in minimum wage all my life.

I know for a fact I'm not going to do anything in the medical field so I can scratch that off completely. Going into the medical field sounds scary. I think I'd rather be dead than work in the medical field. :afr

Also, I'm not that smart and dont learn fast, which makes it harder but I'll have to do my best.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Okay.  Thanks. It's still a lot to consider but I'm definitely leaning towards Cybersecurity over the military. I did my research but would like to do more research on it. It's good to know a lot about the specific job you want to go into before actually studying for it. Still have to apply to see if I can get into a school, which shouldn't be hard if I'm going to a technical school. But I have to be dedicated. I already told someone on the phone about it earlier. She said I could live with her while going to school but dont think that's a good environment for me to study. But she said she'll put in a word for me to someone about it. Im actually kinda considering it this time. I know my dad wants me to go back to school and he was mad when I dropped out years ago. So this will make up for it. I'm doing it for me, though. I'm honestly getting tired of the little bit of money I'm making now. It gets old. Hope I stick with it this time and keep. Doing my research and dont put it off for months again like the last time. I know my dad wants me to go back and he once said that he hopes I go back to school before he dies.


You're welcome.

Some jobs are high stress, tight deadlines and get like a two week vacation between projects (film, tv industry, etc). But the pay is worth it, earning over 100k per year when get enough experience in the industry.

Stress is always a problem with many jobs, so learning to manage thät is key. Routine exercise, eating right (foods that don't create anxiety or other problems), etc.


----------



## hayes

thinking of changing my antidepressant, this one is giving me killer migraines.


----------



## CNikki

A bit anxious to the point I'm procrastinating. Then I get anxious due to the fact I procrastinate.

Can't win.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Blah.


----------



## Ekardy

Shadowweaver said:


> Keep in mind that computers, like most other things, aren't for everyone, and you really should make sure that this is something you enjoy doing before enrolling. My best friend spent 4 years studying programming as an undergrad, and in the end switched to archaeology, because programming wasn't her thing at all. I personally adore programming, and that's most of what I do professionally nowadays - but not everyone is the same.
> 
> My brother is finishing his undergrad program in something related to Cybersecurity, although I believe with an economical focus. I'll ask him for details; he seems to enjoy it, but considering other career venues as well.
> 
> The army... That I wouldn't recommend, but that's just me.  It is pretty hard to build a civilian career after the military service, with all the years spent and all.


I love archeology! I took it as one of my minors in college. 
And it would depend on which branch and what career they select in the military. And what opportunities they take advantage of while employed by them.
Some friends of mine have joined the Navy for example and afterwards gained employment in Space X and Amazon HQ. One of them didn't even have any knowledge of programming going in but learned a lot and took advantage.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Stressed, lots on mind.

Time to listen to music and get into the groove.






:yes


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That @harrison might like this video clip below with beautiful scenery and travelling, good music.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> A bit anxious to the point I'm procrastinating. Then I get anxious due to the fact I procrastinate.
> 
> Can't win.


 "hugs"


----------



## SplendidBob

Lot better today. Going to try doing some chicken experiments tomorrow.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

SplendidBob said:


> Lot better today. Going to try doing some chicken experiments tomorrow.


What does that mean?


----------



## SplendidBob

SamanthaStrange said:


> What does that mean?


Hah, literally chicken experiments for my psychology degree. Chicken cognition, final project. Chickens running through gaps lol.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

SplendidBob said:


> Hah, literally chicken experiments for my psychology degree. Chicken cognition, final project. Chickens running through gaps lol.


:sus Oh.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I had a good day overall but then got upset at work when I had 3 customers all getting mad at me for a department I dont work in but I have to help the stupid department every now and then and didnt want to keep nagging the manager in the department so I was trying to look for **** I didnt even know where it was at then one of them got mad at me. Next thing I know, this *****y woman was saying he was waiting on me but I was dealing with her and she got an attitude even though I went out if my way to help her. 

Then he got mad and my head started spinning. It was literally spinning. This is what it feels like having problems with customers getting mad at you after going through trauma in the past. I have problems with getting yelled at. Guess it's that ****ing paranoid personality disorder. I dont know what the hell it is.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> That @harrison might like this video clip below with beautiful scenery and travelling, good music.


They definitely got around for that clip mate - even had the bridge in it and some shots from Bali. Very nice.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

:hug

Have to have a thick skin when dealing with people like that.


----------



## harrison

SplendidBob said:


> Hah, literally chicken experiments for my psychology degree. Chicken cognition, final project. Chickens running through gaps lol.


Glad you're feeling better Bob but please don't manhandle the chickens.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> They definitely got around for that clip mate - even had the bridge in it and some shots from Bali. Very nice.


Looked like Australia (Sydney), maybe up the coast a bit. Then to NZ. Then looks like islands, maybe Bali.


----------



## Crisigv

very down


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Feeling a bit anxious and down today, not sure what triggered it.


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Feeling a bit anxious and down today, not sure what triggered it.


:hug

Hope it's not some vibes I have given off that could have passed onto you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> very down


:hug



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Feeling a bit anxious and down today, not sure what triggered it.


Try going out side, as sometimes a house can be stuffy and fresh air helps.

Or open a window.


----------



## 0589471

So stupidly anxious. Can't even bring myself to go to the store, when I really need to.


----------



## Suchness

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> So stupidly anxious. Can't even bring myself to go to the store, when I really need to.


That's one of those things that you have to set a boundary and never not do, it's a basic thing you have to do so you do it no matter what even if it's just once or twice a week and you'll feel better after for doing it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> :hug
> 
> Have to have a thick skin when dealing with people like that.


Thanks for the hug.

I do but today it was more than one person. It was like 3 different people. And I dont work in that department and dont ever get told what's where so I have to search for it. There was one product they wanted and I had to keep telling them over and over that the manager said we dont have anymore but they stil wanted to get an attitude with me. Over a box of chicken. There are some crazy people in this world. Today was hella busy, too up until after 7 PM. Never seen it that busy so late in the day. Guess there were a lot more sales than usual.

What mainly made me upset was having three customers back to back and all getting mad at me. It's never been like that back where I work. It's only ever been one or two customers at a time but never had any get that much of an attitude. Of course when it comes close to time for my interview, this would happen and I've been back here for over a year.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> :hug
> 
> Hope it's not some vibes I have given off that could have passed onto you.


Nothing you did triggered that darling. :hug :squeeze


Mondo_Fernando said:


> :hug
> 
> Try going outside, as sometimes a house can be stuffy and fresh air helps.
> 
> Or open a window.


 Thanks for the advice. I should open my window anyways, been gaming all night and now my room is warm. Blame the super-sexy space heater I mean my gaming computer, hehe


A Toxic Butterfly said:


> So stupidly anxious. Can't even bring myself to go to the store, when I really need to.


Aww! :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> So stupidly anxious. Can't even bring myself to go to the store, when I really need to.


:hug

I find if don't think of what is around you people wise (can be the trigger of anxiety). Look at signs, buildings, etc and ignore the people unless have to deal with them. That is sort of what we learnt in a dealing with anxiety course and it works.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks for the hug.
> 
> I do but today it was more than one person. It was like 3 different people. And I dont work in that department and dont ever get told what's where so I have to search for it. There was one product they wanted and I had to keep telling them over and over that the manager said we dont have anymore but they stil wanted to get an attitude with me. Over a box of chicken. There are some crazy people in this world. Today was hella busy, too up until after 7 PM. Never seen it that busy so late in the day. Guess there were a lot more sales than usual.
> 
> What mainly made me upset was having three customers back to back and all getting mad at me. It's never been like that back where I work. It's only ever been one or two customers at a time but never had any get that much of an attitude. Of course when it comes close to time for my interview, this would happen and I've been back here for over a year.


You're welcome.

Maybe management is testing you for the position (see how you handle customers). :sus



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Thanks for the advice. I should open my window anyways, been gaming all night and now my room is warm. Blame the super-sexy space heater I mean my gaming computer lol


You're welcome.

The computer can sometimes emit silicon smells which can make someone feel anxious. Normal part of venting air from CPU.

If overclock the CPU it can get worse.


----------



## 0589471

lol, well I ended up pushing through and going to the store. @Suchness thanks for the moral support, I read your post before I went out and it helped. I was trying to push my errand for tomorrow but it's just so terribly hot during the day it's better to get these things taken care of at night. I was actually willing to go without water until tomorrow, so I'm glad I thought it over :lol

And thanks @Mondo_Fernando and @iAmCodeMonkey :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@A Toxic Butterfly

Good to hear. :yay

Screw it and do it attitude.  :b

You're welcome. :hug


----------



## mrpaperheart

I'm dealing with a break up, and it's been really tough  But on the bright side, I'm almost done with school, and I earned the highest honors award


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando Just one of those things that unintentionally happens at the worst time.

But I do only need to learn like 2 more things but those shouldn't be a big deal. It's a fairly easy job. 
@A Toxic Butterfly I get like that sometimes, especially at Walmart but I've gotten more comfortable there the last fee times. I just try to tell myself that if I really need something, I need to get it and just focus on that without thinking or hesitating too much. Easier said than done. :S The waiting in line part is what makes me uncomfortable. I cant for the life of me get used to it.

So can relate to that.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando Just one of those things that unintentionally happens at the worst time.


Sounds like just dealing with the public (bad days, etc).



PurplePeopleEater said:


> But I do only need to learn like 2 more things but those shouldn't be a big deal. It's a fairly easy job.


Watch out for the pop quizzes / test's. :O


----------



## SplendidBob

SamanthaStrange said:


> :sus Oh.


SAMANTHA, bad Samantha, I wasn't choking the chicken,



harrison said:


> Glad you're feeling better Bob but please don't manhandle the chickens.


hah


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely, depressed.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Thank you!


You're welcome. 



lily said:


> :hug


Thank you. :hug


----------



## SplendidBob

Overwhelmed by stressors. Relationship grief, univ coursework pressure, hopelessness about future employment, lonely, along with my usual depression and anxiety and isolated existance. Very close to my breaking point now.


----------



## Ominous Indeed




----------



## Ekardy

Anxious and excited. I finally decided to look up a local SA meet up group, now to just get the courage to press that join button.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Ominous Indeed said:


>


 :hug


----------



## PandaBearx

Ekardy said:


> Anxious and excited. I finally decided to look up a local SA meet up group, now to just get the courage to press that join button.


Doooo ittttt (I hope you do! it seems like it'd be a good step) best of luck to you


----------



## SplendidBob

Crisigv said:


> very down


sry to hear  hope you start feeling better soon



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Feeling a bit anxious and down today, not sure what triggered it.


Sorry fella, fingers crossed its just temporary. Sometimes small things can make a difference, less sleep, not eaten enough, all kinds of little things. Sometimes I know **** like this has affected me, or something I heard or read, but can't even quite figure out what it is, which is annoying. Hopefully you feel better soon though.



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> So stupidly anxious. Can't even bring myself to go to the store, when I really need to.


Glad you went in the end. Long time no speak. Hope you are doing ok.



mrpaperheart said:


> I'm dealing with a break up, and it's been really tough  But on the bright side, I'm almost done with school, and I earned the highest honors award


Same, though not with you, presumably lol. It's rough.



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Lonely, depressed.


Sorry to hear. You have always given nice comments to me and I appreciated it. Hope things better for you soon.



Ominous Indeed said:


>


So much this. I think most people here understand this sentiment all too well. Hope you feel better soon.



Ekardy said:


> Anxious and excited. I finally decided to look up a local SA meet up group, now to just get the courage to press that join button.


Anxiety and excitement is good, in my experience. They tend to come together. So long as there is excitement there try to focus on that aspect  Press the button, you can always back out later, but might as well press, right? .


----------



## Ekardy

PandaBearx said:


> Doooo ittttt (I hope you do! it seems like it'd be a good step) best of luck to you


 Thanks! I'm literally looking at their page trying to press that button. Didn't realize how hard it was going to be mentally.
I did notice they meetup downtown, I live about 40 mins away from there and never actually driven myself in that area. And I get really bad anxiety (clenched teeth and all) driving in congested unfamiliar areas.


----------



## Ekardy

SplendidBob said:


> Anxiety and excitement is good, in my experience. They tend to come together. So long as there is excitement there try to focus on that aspect  Press the button, you can always back out later, but might as well press, right? .


:squeeze Hey! I've been reading some of your post, hope you're doing alright. 
That is very true, I am excited at the idea of being able to meet up with similar people but of course my brains thinking of the negatives like "well these people probably know each other longer and I'll stick out like a sore thumb."

Aaaaahhh Screw it, I'll press the button. xD


----------



## Crisigv

@SplendidBob still not better, but at least my weight is down too, so that's nice, lol.

I'm so messed up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SplendidBob said:


> Overwhelmed by stressors. Relationship grief, univ coursework pressure, hopelessness about future employment, lonely, along with my usual depression and anxiety and isolated existance. Very close to my breaking point now.


Sorry to hear that mate.

I think brain is telling you that need to do those things one at a time. Seems overwhelming, but is similar to moving a pile of dirt one spade full at a time until get it done.

Those planning boards in your famous video's need to come out again me thinks with super bob to the rescue. :yes

Leaps relationships in a bound, achieves great things in the coursework. Visit's businesses or places where he can get employed and learns a lot, feels more comfortable about his future (usually what an OE or even trip on a train is for).

Maybe gets out, goes on a train trip (cheap) to a distant cafe in cool hip clothes and drinks coffee (or his preferred drink) while doing Uni work (like many a great writer).

Sitting at home too much will drive anyone potty for coffee. :b

Oh, tea for those Brits on here. What, what. :b



Ominous Indeed said:


>


Don't isolate yourself, get some fresh air (outside).



Ekardy said:


> Anxious and excited. I finally decided to look up a local SA meet up group, now to just get the courage to press that join button.


I can imagine a to your liking personality wise, young hunk of a guy and you press button in a quick way, many times over.  :b


----------



## PandaBearx

Ekardy said:


> Thanks! I'm literally looking at their page trying to press that button. Didn't realize how hard it was going to be mentally.
> I did notice they meetup downtown, I live about 40 mins away from there and never actually driven myself in that area. And I get really bad anxiety (clenched teeth and all) driving in congested unfamiliar areas.


I can relate, I generally dislike driving in unfamiliar areas as well. Maybe you could find a reason to go downtown before the meet up?? that way you're a little more familiar and comfortable with the area :yes I know I've done that once or twice. I also have no idea how meet ups work but I'd consider it a good step solely by signing up and pressing the button. :high5

Just read your other comment :yay go ekardy! :boogie


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SplendidBob said:


> Sorry to hear. You have always given nice comments to me and I appreciated it. Hope things better for you soon.


Thanks mate.


----------



## Ekardy

PandaBearx said:


> I can relate, I generally dislike driving in unfamiliar areas as well. Maybe you could find a reason to go downtown before the meet up?? that way you're a little more familiar and comfortable with the area :yes I know I've done that once or twice. I also have no idea how meet ups work but I'd consider it a good step solely by signing up and pressing the button. :high5
> 
> Just read your other comment :yay go ekardy! :boogie


:squeeze Thank you!
Yes, I pressed the button.  I'm looking at their calendar, they seem to meet up on Saturdays. I'm definitely going to try what you suggested though; there's a park downtown someone took me to once and I'm going to try and drive to that this week.

And @Mondo_Fernando Thank you


----------



## SplendidBob

Ekardy said:


> :squeeze Hey! I've been reading some of your post, hope you're doing alright.
> That is very true, I am excited at the idea of being able to meet up with similar people but of course my brains thinking of the negatives like "well these people probably know each other longer and I'll stick out like a sore thumb."
> 
> Aaaaahhh Screw it, I'll press the button. xD


http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/

but the yes version 

Thanks . Yeh, not the happiest time for me atm, lots of stuff kinda weighing me down and struggling to jettison enough of it.

All during my exposure stuff I learned that anxiety when mixed with excitement, can be really really empowering, and gives a really big buzz when you do it. But definitely, also this one of those things where the whole is way more anxiety inducing than the parts, its like "omg, a meetup" (and those kinds of thoughts you are having). But in reality, its a series of steps:

1. Look on website
2. Press sign up button
3. Go to venue
4. Walk through the door
5. Sit there for a while
6. (bonus, talk)
7. Leave

I think it's important here for you to break it down like this, and then give yourself credit for doing each step. Because that's how you get anxiety **** done. If you look at it as "I failed", for example, if you did, 1,2,3,4,5,7 (as I totally would) thats super harsh on yourself. But really, you do any of them and its all good. there will always be more meetups, more groups, so def break things down and chip away at it .



Crisigv said:


> @SplendidBob still not better, but at least my weight is down too, so that's nice, lol.
> 
> I'm so messed up.


You know what I thought when my relationship ended last monday, and I ate 800 calories the next day because I was in that super misery state? "well, at least this will kickstart the old diet again". Great minds, similarly messed up.

Though I can't believe that kind of thinking is even remotely healthy, but whatever works lol.

Hope things brighten a bit for you soon though .


----------



## SplendidBob

Oh, and also @Ekardy, something else occured, with this stuff if you break them down into steps, usually they are comprised of smaller things you have done before, and maybe can even handle confidently. I just need to apply this to my own life, and stop focusing on the big scary picture .


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> And @Mondo_Fernando Thank you


You're welcome.

Don't know why, but somehow I can see you with a guy like this guy in video clip and do crazy things in Paris like that.


----------



## 3stacks

Good for now at least lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> Good for now at least lol


Good to hear.


----------



## 3stacks

Mondo_Fernando said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Good for now at least lol
> 
> 
> 
> Good to hear.
Click to expand...

 thanks ya babe


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

3stacks said:


> thanks ya babe







:yes :yes :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, empty, lonely.


----------



## Ekardy

@Mondo_Fernando :blush I wish! I'm definitely trying to travel again (waiting for the all clear, which should hopefully be soon). My parents currently left to Australia without me. :| But trip was non refundable so I get it. Come next year though!  I'll just need a fellow like in the video :lol
And I'm sorry you're feeling all those things btw.  :squeeze

@SplendidBob :yay I love that it had Darth Vader.

I LOVE that idea! Breaking it down in steps, I can work with that. Just like PandaBearx said just even pressing the button alone is a step forward. I'm not even sure why I woke up today and my immediate thought was "I need to put myself out there more". Next thing I know, I found myself searching for local groups. I'm definitely going to try that process though, breaking it down and even if I fail the first (or several) times, at least I'm working to the next step...? Right? 
The big scary picture, that's what I've been focusing on I think. A lot of what if's of the aftermath.

I was kind of where you are feeling but 2-3 months ago, I was mentally exhausted and felt weighed down with a lot of things and I felt trapped in my head. My biggest problem is I overthink things everything. I'll probably overthink a single grain of rice if left alone long enough with it. :lol


----------



## SplendidBob

Ekardy said:


> I LOVE that idea! Breaking it down in steps, I can work with that. Just like PandaBearx said just even pressing the button alone is a step forward. I'm not even sure why I woke up today and my immediate thought was "I need to put myself out there more". Next thing I know, I found myself searching for local groups. I'm definitely going to try that process though, breaking it down and even if I fail the first (or several) times, at least I'm working to the next step...? Right?
> The big scary picture, that's what I've been focusing on I think. A lot of what if's of the aftermath.


Yeh, I mean, it's what I don't do but should (break it down)  - but its a way of more accurately determining whether you can do something, and takes away that instinctive fear response that makes us think we can't do.

Fail as many times as you need to on each step. Even attempting new and anxiety inducing things is better than not doing, so its not actually a real failure anyway. Things get easier, you probably wouldn't struggle again to press the button .



Ekardy said:


> I was kind of where you are feeling but 2-3 months ago, I was mentally exhausted and felt weighed down with a lot of things and I felt trapped in my head. My biggest problem is I overthink things everything. I'll probably overthink a single grain of rice if left alone long enough with it. :lol


Oh I can't shut this damn brain of mine off. Hah. I try to solve / fix everything, everything. If something is unfixable, it doesn't matter, I just think and think and think. It does nothing, of course, except actively make things worse, but pretty sure its an unconscious process and I don't really have that much say in it lol.

Hope you can keep chipping away at the group.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ekardy said:


> @Mondo_Fernando :blush I wish! I'm definitely trying to travel again (waiting for the all clear, which should hopefully be soon).


Wish granted.

Now to find that man for you. :sus



Ekardy said:


> My parents currently left to Australia without me. :| But trip was non refundable so I get it.


Oh. 



Ekardy said:


> Come next year though!  I'll just need a fellow like in the video :lol


I'll look in the back room to see if we have a spare. :b

(while in the back room / forum) Boys, a lady needs a man here. Which one will take her on a date?

Don't be shy (on a social anxiety forum). :b



Ekardy said:


> And I'm sorry you're feeling all those things btw.  :squeeze


Thanks. :hug


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mildly hungover and tired


----------



## rdrr

anxious, and self conscious.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I mean I feel good but I just hope once I start socializing, girls will want to be my friend. So far they dont seem to want to. I dont bite and dont think theres anything wrong with me. It's cool if I dont end up having any female friends, though. Just being able to socialize and not feel as anxious is cool enough with me.


----------



## CNikki

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I mean I feel good but I just hope once I start socializing, girls will want to be my friend. So far they dont seem to want to. I dont bite and dont think theres anything wrong with me. It's cool if I dont end up having any female friends, though. Just being able to socialize and not feel as anxious is cool enough with me.


I've noticed that it gets harder as I get older to really befriend other women unless I want to handle the risk of gossiping behind my back, especially if not willing to play into their type of game. It sounds stereotypical but unfortunately that is usually the case.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> I've noticed that it gets harder as I get older to really befriend other women unless I want to handle the risk of gossiping behind my back, especially if not willing to play into their type of game. It sounds stereotypical but unfortunately that is usually the case.


:hug:squeeze


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

CNikki said:


> I've noticed that it gets harder as I get older to really befriend other women unless I want to handle the risk of gossiping behind my back, especially if not willing to play into their type of game. It sounds stereotypical but unfortunately that is usually the case.


Yea, I dont get girls when it comes to other girls. They can be mean as hell. Sorry to hear you're struggling with making friends with them. I will never be like how a lot of girls are when it comes to being that way. Hell, I'm fine with just being more talkative. Even if I cant make friends with them. Dont get why a lot of girls are like this. I mean, it's not that hard to be nice. Then they pretend to wonder why some girls dont have friends.Lol


----------



## SofaKing

Undesirable. It doesn't matter what I do for myself to be my best and offer an attractive life for someone, I'll have to accept being alone.


----------



## TinyFlutter

Upset.


----------



## Ckg2011

Very very sad and depressed. I'm going to be all alone forever. cry:cry


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

SofaKing said:


> Undesirable. It doesn't matter what I do for myself to be my best and offer an attractive life for someone, I'll have to accept being alone.


 Life is too short for you to have to be alone. Wishing you the best. :squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

I'm worthless garbage and deserve to be alone.


----------



## SofaKing

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Life is too short for you to have to be alone. Wishing you the best. :squeeze


Very kind of you...whatever happens, happens, I guess. I can't control someone's thoughts, feelings, or actions, so...yeah.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sorry to hear that some of you are feeling sad. 



Ckg2011 said:


> Very very sad and depressed. I'm going to be all alone forever. cry:cry


 :rub


SofaKing said:


> Undesirable. It doesn't matter what I do for myself to be my best and offer an attractive life for someone, I'll have to accept being alone.


:rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I'm worthless garbage and deserve to be alone.


Nope. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ckg2011 said:


> Very very sad and depressed. I'm going to be all alone forever. cry:cry


Mate. 

Try distracting yourself by getting a hobby. You might meet someone that way.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@TinyFlutter

Sorry to hear that you went through that. :hug


----------



## Lohikaarme

Just so irritated about forgetting my admin password and essentially getting locked out of my laptop. I had no problem typing it out of pure muscle memory before but right now I'm too stressed out to think what else it might be. v_v This sucks so hard


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

In love with these kittens.






At 1:10+ is like so adorable. Call it the putty cat paw. Hiiii. 

Miss having kittens around the place as are so amazing.


----------



## versikk

It's funny because when I'm in public I find it difficult to know what I feel or who I am. I can't focus on much more than having to endure all the people around me.

Or something.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored. Depressed.


----------



## Ekardy

^^ Same.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Like I'm going to explode. I feel like I can scream for hours


----------



## Ckg2011

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Mate.
> 
> Try distracting yourself by getting a hobby. You might meet someone that way.


 I do, I ride BMX. I go to jams and contest.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Ckg2011 said:


> I do, I ride BMX. I go to jams and contest.


Ah, that explains the avatar.

I was more thinking along the lines of hobbies women are more interested in and has some men there.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely, overwhelmed as lots to do while grieving and feeling depressed. :sigh


----------



## Crisigv

if i could not cry and be miserable every night, that would be great


----------



## andy1984

like my life is hollow


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted. Moving sucks ***


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> if i could not cry and be miserable every night, that would be great


Sounds like you are stressed out. :hug



lily said:


> You can try community centres that has cooking classes for example. I would say a lot of women would be there  I'm glad to hear that you'd like to advance in life.


Not me, but for @Ckg2011. 



lily said:


> :hug


Such a lovely person, thank you. :hug



lily said:


> I feel not very accomplished today in house work but I hope tomorrow I will be. :sigh


I'm thinking take your time. :hug

They say cleanliness is next to godliness.

The longer being next to godliness.


----------



## SplendidBob

Agitated internally. Doomy feeling. Lonely. Hopeless. All those good things. I am not in the pain I was, though, at least. But it's not much fun in here atm.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SplendidBob

Awww mate. 

Try distracting yourself.

Here is some beard dancers.






:b :lol


----------



## SplendidBob

@Mondo_Fernando thanks. Yeh, distraction kinda all I have atm. Only 2 days till therapy, and getting a haircut this afternoon which I hope makes me feel better, though even that is going to be stressful atm. Was going to go with something different, but I don't think I could handle ****ing up my appearance too atm lol.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SplendidBob

You're welcome.

Your haircuts are legendary at how well they suit you. :yes

Probably best to play it safe with haircut.


----------



## SparklingWater

Tired again lol. Wish I went straight home after work. This is a prime example of poor decision making. My bed is calling me.


----------



## Eleonora91

Had a terrible meltdown last night that left me in tears. I have still not completely recovered from it. Meltdowns are getting more frequent (~1 a week) and harder to deal with. I am at my wit's end. Don't know what to do anymore. Medications don't seem to work, even my psychiatrist is puzzled, all I want is a normal, productive life. I hope it will get better soon.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I tried a Ben & Jerry's flavor I didn't like, and now I'm sad. :cry :bah


----------



## Suchness

I feel better after my gratitude meditation, I can feel the joy rippling through me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SparklingWater said:


> Tired again lol. Wish I went straight home after work. This is a prime example of poor decision making. My bed is calling me.


Wish you a good sleep when you sleep.



Eleonora91 said:


> Had a terrible meltdown last night that left me in tears. I have still not completely recovered from it. Meltdowns are getting more frequent (~1 a week) and harder to deal with. I am at my wit's end. Don't know what to do anymore. Medications don't seem to work, even my psychiatrist is puzzled, all I want is a normal, productive life. I hope it will get better soon.


Probably stressed. Try ways to remove stress in your life.


----------



## Suchness

It's like a light bulb turned on inside me, hello!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Ok thank you! And you're welcome


You're welcome and thank you. 



lily said:


> I was more accomplished today but not very and have been feeling kind of depressed today.


Awww. :hug

No rush. A little bit at a time and get it done (you'll feel better that you finished it).


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Suchness said:


> It's like a light bulb turned on inside me, hello!


:lol I dont know why that's funny.

I'm not feeling bad right now. Have a job interview Thursday. Hoping I get that job but it'll be okay if I don't.


----------



## Suchness

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I dont know why that's funny.
> 
> I'm not feeling bad right now. Have a job interview Thursday. Hoping I get that job but it'll be okay if I don't.


Because I'm funny. Good luck with the job.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm not feeling bad right now. Have a job interview Thursday. Hoping I get that job but it'll be okay if I don't.


Hope you get that job.

Manager Purple has a nice ring to it, ding.  :b


----------



## Ekardy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm not feeling bad right now. Have a job interview Thursday. Hoping I get that job but it'll be okay if I don't.


Good luck!  Hope you get it!

@Suchness Hope it was an LED lightbulb at least.


----------



## Suchness

Ekardy said:


> Good luck!  Hope you get it!
> 
> @Suchness Hope it was an LED lightbulb at least.


I have one of those in my bedroom but this was different, it's like a light of healing, awareness, joy, gratitude and contentment, the best kind of light.


----------



## Ekardy

Suchness said:


> I have one of those in my bedroom but this was different, it's like a light of healing, awareness, joy, gratitude and contentment, the best kind of light.


That actually sounds nice and enlightening.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Scared of people and the world...


----------



## Suchness

Ekardy said:


> That actually sounds nice and enlightening.


You can experience it too.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Thank you again.


You're welcome again lovely as a lily. 



lily said:


> Yeh I think I'll get it done and have a better day tomorrow!


If you want to (your choice).


----------



## Suchness

lily said:


> That's so nice. is it a joke or for real? I've had times where I feel so calm in my head and it feels so nice.  Have you done some sort of meditation?


Yeah, it's a meditation, I create a feeling of gratitude and stay in it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Thanks everyone.  
@Suchness lol That you are. 
@lily Yea, it seems like the right job for me.


----------



## Eleonora91

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Probably stressed. Try ways to remove stress in your life.


I honestly do nothing right now, I don't know what else to do. Anything can turn into a stressful situation.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Confirmed people suck. Can't believe people actually dog bait... ffs I hate this world. People are so ****. Why kill pets, omfg, already kill enough animals just feeding the population.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Eleonora91 said:


> I honestly do nothing right now, I don't know what else to do. Anything can turn into a stressful situation.


I think it's the trigger for the stress to occur in the body.

Usually it is a mental thing and retraining the brain can change the way the body handles stress or distress.

I found a way from a lady by sitting on floor, then closing eyes. Visually thinking of say stress, fear, anger, etc (each emotion, one at a time) and imagine each emotion venting in a long stream from your head.

Then visualize cuddling yourself, even self cuddle if it helps.

What you are doing is changing the way the body reacts to those ēmotions when is triggered.

Basically when you feel stress, fear, anger, etc, you feel happy.

There is a balance at how much you do it, to not fully take away the emotions, as need a flight or fight to protect yourself from danger.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Double-post...

Feeling the PTSD coming thinking about how **** people are. I can't believe I'm so powerless and no one gives a **** if a guy gets abused by other guys. The only way is to be more powerful and scary but that's not going to happen with the fking ****hole cards I have fk.

I can't be okay being just "myself" if this is how fked the world is. I need to be superior as a defence mechanism but idfk how. How am I supposed to defend myself against numbers fk, i'm all alone no one gives a ****. boys r gonna beat me up and emasculate me. girls are gonna laugh at me.

i should be abused and raped and fked up. thanks god. thanku so much for creating this world, really thanku for all the prostitution, sex trafficking, child trafficking, drug trade, starvation, thanku so much. thanku.

thank u .

u make me feel so fking happi to be alive )))))))))))))))))))))))))) really thanks  inm fking esctatic to be alive ))))))))))))))))))))))))) thank u really










I need to be superior

I need to be superior

I need to be superior

I need to be superior

I need to be superior

I need to be superior

I need to be superior

I need to be superior


----------



## SamanthaStrange

People exhaust me, and annoy me.
I'm so bored.


----------



## Suchness

SamanthaStrange said:


> People exhaust me, and annoy me.
> I'm so bored.


I never get sick of you.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Suchness said:


> I never get sick of you.


How is that possible?


----------



## sanpellegrino

Pissed off.


----------



## Graeme1988

I genuinely don’t know how much more I can put up with...

I’m at that point where offing masel’ seems like the better option. Since, at least then, am oot the way. And, ironically, I’d be spoken about more positively in death by my family than I am currently, being alive. Because, at the moment, they treat me like crap. Well, except for my oldest sister.

My mother is constantly negative, to the point where, any time I say anything: she has to chime in with a dismissive remark. I’m starting to think she does it intentional just so it pisses me off and giving her an excuse to play the victim. My older sister find summit new to complain about everyday. Me, I just have to put up with all, since I’ve got nuthin’ to whinge about. No reason to feel depressed. Or so I’m told, anyway...


----------



## Suchness

SamanthaStrange said:


> How is that possible?


Idk, who knows?


----------



## Suchness

@SamanthaStrange you're supposed to say that Kramer would know.


----------



## donistired

I want out of where I am in life right now. So much anger and self-loathing. No way to exhume my feelings. So much time just spent stuck in my own thoughts. Just **** this. I need something, anything, to go well in life right now.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Worried. 

In the midst of a high wind storm, lots of rain, thunder and many days ago, tornado's (one tornado flipped a boat).

Already got flooding in some area's. :O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> I've felt so bored today :crying: I'M SO GLAD I'M GOING OUT TOMORROW!


Awww. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> ty, lol :serious:


You're welcome.


----------



## Crisigv

Really really bad


----------



## versikk

Deaf Mute said:


> Double-post...
> 
> Feeling the PTSD coming thinking about how **** people are. I can't believe I'm so powerless and no one gives a **** if a guy gets abused by other guys. The only way is to be more powerful and scary but that's not going to happen with the fking ****hole cards I have fk.
> 
> I can't be okay being just "myself" if this is how fked the world is. I need to be superior as a defence mechanism but idfk how. How am I supposed to defend myself against numbers fk, i'm all alone no one gives a ****. boys r gonna beat me up and emasculate me. girls are gonna laugh at me.
> 
> i should be abused and raped and fked up. thanks god. thanku so much for creating this world, really thanku for all the prostitution, sex trafficking, child trafficking, drug trade, starvation, thanku so much. thanku.
> 
> thank u .
> 
> u make me feel so fking happi to be alive )))))))))))))))))))))))))) really thanks  inm fking esctatic to be alive ))))))))))))))))))))))))) thank u really
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I need to be superior
> 
> I need to be superior
> 
> I need to be superior
> 
> I need to be superior
> 
> I need to be superior
> 
> I need to be superior
> 
> I need to be superior
> 
> I need to be superior


No, you should not be abused.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## The Library of Emma

Someone opened up to me. I opened up to them.

And now the rest of the night all I'll do is worry if this person thinks my problems are worse than theirs.










Oh, the joys of meeting new people.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Really really bad


:hug



lily said:


> How come you wouldn't like to try to get a girlfriend too? is it bc your anxiety is really bad?


That and my life the way it is gone. Just not good enough.



lily said:


> I still feel awful from sleeping TOO MUCH today :crying: but I feel better now bc I washed the dishes. All I have is one more thing to do tomorrow.


:hug


----------



## harrison

Pretty good actually - but my wife said I was talking too much. Party pooper.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Pretty good actually - but my wife said I was talking too much. Party pooper.


Party pooper. :lol

Not something you would say infront of her. :b


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Party pooper. :lol
> 
> Not something you would say infront of her. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


>


One of those think it but never say it sort of deals.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> One of those think it but never say it sort of deals.


Oh I say a lot worse than that to her mate. Probably one of the reasons why we don't live together anymore. We used to fight a lot - not so bad nowadays though.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Oh I say a lot worse than that to her mate. Probably one of the reasons why we don't live together anymore. We used to fight a lot - not so bad nowadays though.


:O

Bubbles to the surface on both sides sometimes when tired, stressed, etc. No relationship is perfect. Just it is if can work it out (what are arguing about) and get back to normal is where relationships last.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Can't stop crying over lost loved one.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Safer that storm has gone (for now).


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Can't stop crying over lost loved one.


Sorry to hear mate - but will slowly get better with time.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Sorry to hear mate - but will slowly get better with time.


Thanks mate.

Just can't believe or accept that they are gone.

Even when saw the body not long after they were murdered I couldn't accept it. :crying:

Just wouldn't wake up. :crying:


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Thanks mate.
> 
> Just can't believe or accept that they are gone.
> 
> Even when saw the body not long after they were murdered I couldn't accept it. :crying:
> 
> Just wouldn't wake up. :crying:


My God mate - I don't how anyone would come to terms with something like that.

But I felt a similar thing when my poor Mum died. I remember standing there crying and wondering where she'd gone, even though she was lying there right in front of me. It's horrible.


----------



## Graeme1988

Trapped. Stuck in a rut. Unmotivated. Tired of the way I’m treated.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> My God mate - I don't how anyone would come to terms with something like that.


I don't think I will.



harrison said:


> But I felt a similar thing when my poor Mum died. I remember standing there crying and wondering where she'd gone, even though she was lying there right in front of me. It's horrible.


:crying: :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> Trapped. Stuck in a rut. Unmotivated. Tired of the way I'm treated.


I wish that you are treated better.

Please (to his mum, family) treat this man with love, respect.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Thank you so much Mondo_Fernando! Surely you're good enough for someone. I hope you feel better soon.
> :hug


You're welcome. :hug

I don't know about that. 

But thank you for your kind words.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Of course you are, you shouldn't give up. You should have never given up! you're welcome


:stu


----------



## Crisigv

who cares anymore about anything. i want it all to end.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> who cares anymore about anything. i want it all to end.


Please don't do that. :hug


----------



## Crisigv

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Please don't do that. :hug


I can't do this anymore. I'm starting to see more physical effects from my anxiety and stress too. I want to die.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I can't do this anymore. I'm starting to see more physical effects from my anxiety and stress too. I want to die.


Nooo. :hug :crying:


----------



## Noca

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Can't stop crying over lost loved one.


I'm really sorry for your loss (((hugs)))


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Noca said:


> I'm really sorry for your loss (((hugs)))


Thanks mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling that my mind is a mess like in this music video below.






All over the place emotionally wise.


----------



## harrison

Not so good - but it's just from this stupid flu/cold. Still feel quite weak, very annoying.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Not so good - but it's just from this stupid flu/cold. Still feel quite weak, very annoying.


Sorry to hear mate.

I hope you feel better with time.

As far as I know, with flu it last's past 3x days. Cold is up to 3 days.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sorry to hear mate.
> 
> I hope you feel better with time.
> 
> As far as I know, with flu it last's past 3x days. Cold is up to 3 days.


Thanks mate - I'll be okay, just take a few more days to get over it. Hope you're doing okay today.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - I'll be okay, just take a few more days to get over it. Hope you're doing okay today.


You're welcome.

Ok.

Crying a lot.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> Ok.
> 
> Crying a lot.


Sorry to hear that mate - hope you're feeling better today.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Sorry to hear that mate - hope you're feeling better today.


Thanks mate.

So far so good (crossing fingers).


----------



## SparklingWater

Don't get paid enough for this. Can't leave the money though. I'll stay on the lookout for something higher paying I can manage, but if not I'll be here 3 years til I'm finished school and making a decent living. It's exciting saving money though and knowing I'm doing so to buy a home at 40. Mine all mine. Worth it.

Paying for this specialist weekly is gonna hurt though lol.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SparklingWater

I hope you reach your goals.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

-sigh-


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I wish that you are treated better.


So do I... It's quite sad n' ironic that ah treat them better than they huv me.  Yet, when I was younger I was often called a useless, waste o' space.

Nowadays, if my sisters have any issues with their laptops, it's me who called upon to fix them. And only my oldest sister ever says thanks for me taking the time to do it.



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Please (to his mum, family) treat this man with love, respect.


:rofl _As if that's gonnae happen..._ My sisters have never said sorry for the _"jokes"_ n' snide remarks made at my expense over the last 10 years. Cuz, apparently a jokes a jokes, regardless of how cruel, mean-spirited or inappropriate. Yet, they took umbrage at me mocking them in a similar manner? So, me being an equally sarcastic c_nt or getting a laugh for making an accurate observation about how they behave is _"too far"_. :stu

The youngest of my 2 older sisters has always hated me. We've never gotten along...

And my mother briefly went through a phases of not speaking to me for nearly a week, when I was about 18, after I call her out on her man-hating rhetoric. And her constant comparison of me to my violent, abusive father, who was absent from my life until I hit my mid-teens. Never got a: _"Sorry that ah made ye feel that way"_. She just gave me the silent treatment... which is nowt new. I'm used to be ignored.

The only time they ever treat me with a modicum o' respect is when it suits them - in other words if it makes them seem like good, caring folk. Or anytime we're out in public, where they know they can get away with treating me like crap.


----------



## SplendidBob

lonely and hurt.


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

Relieved. A drawn out situation that's been over is truly over. Out of sight, out of mind.


----------



## SparklingWater

Annoyed I have to work tonight. And too lazy to do laundry.


----------



## SparklingWater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @SparklingWater
> 
> I hope you reach your goals.


Thanks, I hope so too. And may you reach any goals you're moving towards as well.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> So do I... It's quite sad n' ironic that ah treat them better than they huv me.  Yet, when I was younger I was often called a useless, waste o' space.
> 
> Nowadays, if my sisters have any issues with their laptops, it's me who called upon to fix them. And only my oldest sister ever says thanks for me taking the time to do it.


It is nice that you do that for your family. I'm wishing that kindness is returned to you one day.



Graeme1988 said:


> :rofl _As if that's gonnae happen..._ My sisters have never said sorry for the _"jokes"_ n' snide remarks made at my expense over the last 10 years. Cuz, apparently a jokes a jokes, regardless of how cruel, mean-spirited or inappropriate. Yet, they took umbrage at me mocking them in a similar manner? So, me being an equally sarcastic c_nt or getting a laugh for making an accurate observation about how they behave is _"too far"_. :stu
> 
> The youngest of my 2 older sisters has always hated me. We've never gotten along...
> 
> And my mother briefly went through a phases of not speaking to me for nearly a week, when I was about 18, after I call her out on her man-hating rhetoric. And her constant comparison of me to my violent, abusive father, who was absent from my life until I hit my mid-teens. Never got a: _"Sorry that ah made ye feel that way"_. She just gave me the silent treatment... which is nowt new. I'm used to be ignored.
> 
> The only time they ever treat me with a modicum o' respect is when it suits them - in other words if it makes them seem like good, caring folk. Or anytime we're out in public, where they know they can get away with treating me like crap.


Sounds like are getting abused mentally. 

Should never step to their level, as just being as bad as théy are (thinking that it makes you feel bad when you do act like them) which is probably what they are teaching you. What you are learning from this situation is just be yourself, whatever thät is, but not like them.



SplendidBob said:


> lonely and hurt.


Awww, mate. 



SparklingWater said:


> Thanks, I hope so too. And may you reach any goals you're moving towards as well.


You're welcome.

Seems like you have a good plan in place. Can't see why it won't work. But sometimes life throws curveballs at a person and have to adjust. I'm thinking it is one of those take one day at a time type of things.

But it would be amazing to see you reach your goals, as it looks like you put so much into getting there. Usually it works from many people I have seen who do it that way.

Thank you for your kind words.


----------



## 3stacks

Bored and empty.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

3stacks said:


> Bored and empty.


Same.


----------



## 3stacks

SamanthaStrange said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> Bored and empty.
> 
> 
> 
> Same.
Click to expand...

 life aye


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Alright I guess. Went to see my dad for his birthday and we went out to eat but the whole time, I was fidgeting with my hands. I feel more comfortable around people at work than my own family. I drove to meet up with them but they decided they wanted me to ride with them after I got there. And my dumbass wasnt thinking and left my keys in the ignition. Someone could have stolen my vehicle. I was gone for like 2 and a half hours. That's one of the dumbest mistakes I've ever made. At least I didnt know until I got back to my vehicle so I wouldn't be freaking out the whole time I was with my family. I probably left them in there cause I thought I was following them up there and guess I thought I put my keys in my pocketbook. 

Either way, I still had a decent time. My family was mostly focused on my niece but guess thats just how it goes when my parents become grandparents. I know they care about me.


----------



## Suchness

I rarely feel bored and lonely. I usually feel anxiety and fatigue, that's no fun.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

No way. :O

Yeah, younger ones always get the attention. :yes
@Suchness

Sorry to hear that mate.


----------



## CNikki

A bit dissociated. Don't know whether to sleep it off this early or what the hell to even do about it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@CNikki

:hug

Sleep helps, but can throw out sleeping times if sleep at wrong times.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando I'll look back on this story in the future about leaving my keys in the ignition and laugh about it. Wow, my brain be dumb sometimes. 

Yea, true. Lol I dont mind her cause shes my niece and I dont have my own kid so makes it better. She kept taking all my dad's bday cards just walking around with them in the restaurant. xD


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Lucky it wasn't a car that self locks (Alarm) when walk away. :b

Minnie Purple? :O


----------



## CNikki

@Mondo_Fernando, it's been going haywire either way. It is likely taking part on why I'm in this state. It sucks.


----------



## SofaKing

Disassociated...I hate dancing...and if that's essential to social acceptance, I guess I'll remain a social outcast.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@CNikki

:sigh :hug


----------



## donistired

Not so good, but also I am still here and might be okay at some point in the future I hope lol.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@SofaKing
Oh man, you are not alone. I am not much of a dancer myself either.  :rub

@Don
I hope you feel better someday my dude.  :rub

@CNikki
Oh man, I hope you feel better after some sleep.  Chat again soon. :hug :squeeze


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> Lucky it wasn't a car that self locks (Alarm) when walk away. :b
> 
> Minnie Purple? :O


Oh gosh, yes. :O

I swear, though. I thought I took my keys with me. :sus

Lol She is a mini me I guess. :lol

@SofaKing I know what you mean about the dancing. I suck at dancing so I just bob my head.

Weird dancing can be fun in a way but it's not the same as actually being able to dance good.


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

Tired. Had a busy day and tried finishing a poem I've been working on thinking that what happened the other day would help fuel me, but either I'm too tired to form the words or my heart isn't in it anymore.


----------



## komorikun

Really shouldn't have gone for a long uphill walk when I was having stomach cramps and bloating. Ugh. Thank god I got home okay and didn't just crumple up on the sidewalk. And I didn't **** my pants either. Miracle. What is wrong with my intestines these past few months?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Oh gosh, yes. :O
> 
> I swear, though. I thought I took my keys with me. :sus
> 
> Lol She is a mini me I guess. :lol


Lucky engine wasn't running too, then engine cut. :O

They were with you in memory. :yes

Just the way she does things reminds me of a mini you.


----------



## Eleonora91

The last few days have been so. hard. Two major meltdowns one of which lasted for several hours and constant discomfort have left me completely drained of all energy & positivity. I feel like I can't go on much longer if things keep being this hard. Even with all the support I'm receiving from my family & boyfriend it seems like I can't do it. Will try therapy when I go back to Milan as psychiatric help clearly didn't do it for me or at least didn't fully help me. I'm popping anti-anxiety pills like candy just to get through the day.


----------



## Graeme1988

Given the circumstances, I'd be better off dead. Deid. Six feet under. 

Ah mean, it's no as if ma family would even notice if am not around anymore. F__k, ma older sister would actually be happy ! Since she been quite open about the fact she does'nae give a f__k about me. Needless tae say, the feelin' f__kin' mutual.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

komorikun said:


> Really shouldn't have gone for a long uphill walk when I was having stomach cramps and bloating. Ugh. Thank god I got home okay and didn't just crumple up on the sidewalk. And I didn't **** my pants either. Miracle. What is wrong with my intestines these past few months?


 What have you been eating/drinking?


----------



## Citrine79

Really feeling down and melancholy on top of my constant anxiety. Last week or so has been pretty bad. I always start to get worse around Labor Day (summer is over) and as the holidays and the constant threat of snow get closer, I feel worse.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## komorikun

WillYouStopDave said:


> What have you been eating/drinking?


Well, yesterday before the stomach upset I had 3 cups of coffee, lots of water, 1 yogurt, a banana, palaak paneer/2 naan/1 paratha, and diet coke to go with the it. The paneer meal was heavier than expected so it was divided into 2 meals.


----------



## blue2

^^ That seems like a dodgy mixture for the old guts to handle : /


----------



## harrison

Girl with a pen said:


> I'm putting off making an intro post because I feel like there's nothing to say about me


From a couple of your earlier posts it sounds like you've already been through a lot more than quite a few people here - and you're 15. You don't need to make an introductory post.

How's your friend going? Is she okay?


----------



## harrison

Girl with a pen said:


> She's home now, but she's pretty much just not willing to talk about it and stops responding to my texts if I force the issue. We haven't seen each other in person since my short visit on Tuesday which is unusual.


At least she's home safe and sound. Sorry to hear about all that - a terrible thing to go through, especially at your age. Maybe just leave it for now and let her bring it up when she's ready.


----------



## 3stacks

Sick. If I don't take my meds at the same time every day I seem to go sick.


----------



## andy1984

a bit too warm and slightly tired. at least time is passing at a decent rate. its travelling at 1 second per second lol.


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> Sick. If I don't take my meds at the same time every day I seem to go sick.


What sort of sick? Do you feel nauseous?

They say we're supposed to take them much the same time every day. If/when I change my dosage I get all sorts of problems - nausea, heartburn, migraines (plus the mania of course) - but it doesn't seem to make that much difference if I take them at a different time. As long as I take them that day.


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> What sort of sick? Do you feel nauseous?
> 
> They say we're supposed to take them much the same time every day. If/when I change my dosage I get all sorts of problems - nausea, heartburn, migraines (plus the mania of course) - but it doesn't seem to make that much difference if I take them at a different time. As long as I take them that day.


It's mostly dizziness and sometimes I feel like throwing up. I've tried most SSRIs and it never happened on any of them. I started Venlafaxine so it's either that or the Olanzapine.


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> It's mostly *dizziness *and sometimes I *feel like throwing up*. I've tried most SSRIs and it never happened on any of them. I started Venlafaxine so it's either that or the Olanzapine.


Both of those are listed as common side-effects for the Effexor, and dizziness also for the Olanzapine as well.

Pretty horrible way to feel.


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> Both of those are listed as common side-effects for the Effexor, and dizziness also for the Olanzapine as well.
> 
> Pretty horrible way to feel.


Yeah I think I need to start setting reminders to take it or something


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> Yeah I think I need to start setting reminders to take it or something


Was it you that said something about wishing they'd make a TV show about Stephen King books recently?

I came across some DVD's at the library (don't laugh - I'm old)  of Stephen King's "Mr. Mercedes" the other day. It's pretty good.

(if that wasn't you just ignore this post)


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> Was it you that said something about wishing they'd make a TV show about Stephen King books recently?
> 
> I came across some DVD's at the library (don't laugh - I'm old)  of Stephen King's "Mr. Mercedes" the other day. It's pretty good.
> 
> (if that wasn't you just ignore this post)


What are these DVD things you speak of? Is it like an artifact? No, I'm joking lol I've still got loads of DVDs. Yeah it was me that said that. I actually read the three Mr Mercedes books they were really good so I might have to check out the show too.


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> What are these DVD things you speak of? Is it like an artifact? No, I'm joking lol I've still got loads of DVDs. Yeah it was me that said that. I actually read the three Mr Mercedes books they were really good so I might have to check out the show too.


Oh, great - I don't think I read the last book actually. Maybe I should check that out.

Yeah, it's good so far - it's got Brendan Gleeson who I like. He plays the grumpy old retired detective. He's great - and he doesn't put on an American accent which I like.


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> What are these DVD things you speak of? Is it like an artifact? No, I'm joking lol I've still got loads of DVDs. Yeah it was me that said that. I actually read the three Mr Mercedes books they were really good so I might have to check out the show too.
> 
> 
> 
> Oh, great - I don't think I read the last book actually. Maybe I should check that out.
> 
> Yeah, it's good so far - it's got Brendan Glesson who I like. He plays the grumpy old retired detective. He's great - and he doesn't put on an American accent which I like.
Click to expand...

 I think I enjoyed the last book lol. My problem is I have a terrible memory and I pretty much forget what I've read right after I've read it lol. Oh I liked him in the film In Bruges. He was quite grumpy in there too.


----------



## harrison

3stacks said:


> I think I enjoyed the last book lol. My problem is I have a terrible memory and I pretty much forget what I've read right after I've read it lol. Oh I liked him in the film In Bruges. *He was quite grumpy in there too*.


Yeah, I think I saw that too. I think he just plays himself quite a lot of the time - a bit pissed off and getting old. (something I can relate to)

Yeah, my memory's crap too - good in some ways. We can just keep rereading or rewatching stuff and it feels like the first time.


----------



## 3stacks

harrison said:


> 3stacks said:
> 
> 
> 
> I think I enjoyed the last book lol. My problem is I have a terrible memory and I pretty much forget what I've read right after I've read it lol. Oh I liked him in the film In Bruges. *He was quite grumpy in there too*.
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah, I think I saw that too. I think he just plays himself quite a lot of the time - a bit pissed off and getting old. (something I can relate to)
> 
> Yeah, my memory's crap too - good in some ways. We can just keep rereading or rewatching stuff and it feels like the first time.
Click to expand...

 He plays it so well haha


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Lucky engine wasn't running too, then engine cut. :O
> 
> They were with you in memory. :yes
> 
> Just the way she does things reminds me of a mini you.


I was. The weird thing was my vehicle wasnt on but it kinda sounded like it was halfway on or something.

Haha. Guess cause it's easy to make her happy. :grin2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I was. The weird thing was my vehicle wasnt on but it kinda sounded like it was halfway on or something.
> 
> Haha. Guess cause it's easy to make her happy. :grin2:


A ghost vehicle. :O

Simple things in life. :yes


----------



## 3stacks

Can't sleep, so bad. Also apologise for spamming the forum but I'm incredibly bored.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> A ghost vehicle. :O
> 
> Simple things in life. :yes


I think my vehicle is haunted. :O

Lol :laugh:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I think my vehicle is haunted. :O
> 
> Lol :laugh:


No way. :O


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> No way. :O


:lol


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I think my vehicle is haunted. :O
> 
> Lol :laugh:


Call Ghost Busters.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired after a long day out with my friend. Need sleep soon.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> :lol


Booooooooo from the back seat. :lol



Crisigv said:


> I'm sad


:hug



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Tired after a long day out with my friend. Need sleep soon.


Wish you a good sleep.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I_Exist said:


> Call Ghost Busters.


Or Mythbusters. :laugh:
@Mondo_Fernando Boooo from the back seat sounds like the name of an album from a hip hop group.

Boooo from the Back Seat by The Booberries. :boogie


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando Boooo from the back seat sounds like the name of an album from a hip hop group.
> 
> Boooo from the Back Seat by The Booberries. :boogie


I was watching the orginal Scream again and he was in the back seat of Police car and Sydney was in front passenger seat of Police car that was not too different looking to yours (looked like a Jeep Cherokee) and was ghost looking, so booo. :b


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I was watching the orginal Scream again and he was in the back seat of Police car and Sydney was in front passenger seat of Police car that was not too different looking to yours (looked like a Jeep Cherokee) and was ghost looking, so booo. :b


:afr:lol


----------



## SplendidBob

Oh god. Today was the worst day in months. 

Feel horrible. Absolutely awful. Trapped, hopeless and still under pressure I can't get rid of. Totally flipped out today. Not good. Not good at all.


----------



## Citrine79

Worse and worse with each passing day. Disgusted, fed up and so sick of it all.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> :afr:lol


When realised the scenario was so similar, was like. :O

No way.



SplendidBob said:


> Oh god. Today was the worst day in months.
> 
> Feel horrible. Absolutely awful. Trapped, hopeless and still under pressure I can't get rid of. Totally flipped out today. Not good. Not good at all.


Sorry to hear mate. 

Hoping tomorrow is a better day.

Something Jessie J would say at 4:35+.






So calming when she says it.



Citrine79 said:


> Worse and worse with each passing day. Disgusted, fed up and so sick of it all.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


:hug


----------



## SplendidBob

@Mondo_Fernando thanks fella


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SplendidBob

You're welcome mate.


----------



## Eleonora91

Booked my first appointment with a therapist for when I go back to Milan. Can't wait for time to pass soon enough. I have such high expectations because I'm so hopeless and exhausted at this point. Have tried everything and after one year I'm still here. Hope I will get the answers I've been seeking for so long and some peace of mind.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

This song.






The scenery in the start that @harrison would like. :O






And this song too as has a beautiful beach.


----------



## Ekardy

Eleonora91 said:


> Booked my first appointment with a therapist for when I go back to Milan. Can't wait for time to pass soon enough. I have such high expectations because I'm so hopeless and exhausted at this point. Have tried everything and after one year I'm still here. Hope I will get the answers I've been seeking for so long and some peace of mind.


I really hope you do. :squeeze Despite everything you're going through, at least from the bits of seen here and there, you have strength. And simple fact that you are seeking help is proof of how strong you are.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Eleonora91 said:


> Booked my first appointment with a therapist for when I go back to Milan. Can't wait for time to pass soon enough. I have such high expectations because I'm so hopeless and exhausted at this point. Have tried everything and after one year I'm still here. Hope I will get the answers I've been seeking for so long and some peace of mind.


I found that this helps if been abused (based on whät you mentioned in previous post's, it sounds like abuse).
















Healing part I mentioned to you in previous post is from above.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> This song.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The scenery in the start that @harrison would like. :O
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And this song too as has a beautiful beach.


Very nice mate - I wish I was there too, at the beach I mean.

I'll go to Bali again one of these days, but I'll try to be a bit more sensible. I think it would definitely be a good idea.


----------



## CNikki

Eleonora91 said:


> Booked my first appointment with a therapist for when I go back to Milan. Can't wait for time to pass soon enough. I have such high expectations because I'm so hopeless and exhausted at this point. Have tried everything and after one year I'm still here. Hope I will get the answers I've been seeking for so long and some peace of mind.


As cliche as this sounds, asking for help is a very brave thing to do. Wishing the best out of it and stay strong.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Very nice mate - I wish I was there too, at the beach I mean.
> 
> I'll go to Bali again one of these days, but I'll try to be a bit more sensible. I think it would definitely be a good idea.


The first video clip has nice looking mountains in the beginning.

Have some fun under the sun (deck chair, blanket if cold at sunset, drink, nice looking beach).


----------



## Eleonora91

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I found that this helps if been abused (based on what you mentioned in previous post's, it sounds like abuse).
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Healing part I mentioned to you in previous post is from above.


My mother was definitely one of the most abusive figures in my life. I will watch the videos, thanks for taking time to suggest me that.



Ekardy said:


> I really hope you do. :squeeze Despite everything you're going through, at least from the bits of seen here and there, you have strength. And simple fact that you are seeking help is proof of how strong you are.


Thank you so much, I am trying to stay strong, the last couple of weeks have been hard, I've been doing worse, so therapy is my last resort and I have high hopes but I'm also nervous because of it. I don't how it's going to go. I really hope it helps. Thanks for your lovely words :squeeze



CNikki said:


> As cliche as this sounds, asking for help is a very brave thing to do. Wishing the best out of it and stay strong.


I sought help almost one year ago but psychiatric help did nothing to me apart from prescribing me anti-anxiety pills which slightly help. So I figured that wasn't enough for me. It feels like starting over again because once again I am clueless as to what is causing my discomfort and I'm looking for answers. It's kind of depressing after almost one year of psychiatric sessions.


----------



## SofaKing

I'm having a peaceful moment. Sitting on the porch while it's raining. Enjoying a beer while hummingbirds harass each other.


----------



## CNikki

Eleonora91 said:


> I sought help almost one year ago but psychiatric help did nothing to me apart from prescribing me anti-anxiety pills which slightly help. So I figured that wasn't enough for me. It feels like starting over again because once again I am clueless as to what is causing my discomfort and I'm looking for answers. It's kind of depressing after almost one year of psychiatric sessions.


Without going into lengthy detail, I can understand to an extent on how that feels. I cut cold turkey at one point, which was the stupidest yet potentially life-saving decision made (certain side effects.) Medicine isn't the single solution but is needed when it is chronic, and unfortunately can be with trial-and-error (which I do have a lot to say on that even though I'm not anti-medicine.)

Many people tend to give up after that stage, so kudos that you are going further and remaining hopeful. You have our support.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Eleonora91 said:


> My mother was definitely one of the most abusive figures in my life. I will watch the videos, thanks for taking time to suggest me that.


You're welcome.

I tried dealing with anxiety courses, etc and they helped a little bit, but those video's helped the most, as she has been through the emotional pain, etc and understands. She found a way to heal that works instantly.

Most therapist's I hävē found have never been through it and just run a routine of what they are taught in school.



SofaKing said:


> I'm having a peaceful moment. Sitting on the porch while it's raining. Enjoying a beer while hummingbirds harass each other.


Ah, bliss of the quiet country side. :drunk


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I’m tired and hungry, only slept a few hours and have been cleaning all day


----------



## Eleonora91

CNikki said:


> Without going into lengthy detail, I can understand to an extent on how that feels. I cut cold turkey at one point, which was the stupidest yet potentially life-saving decision made (certain side effects.) Medicine isn't the single solution but is needed when it is chronic, and unfortunately can be with trial-and-error (which I do have a lot to say on that even though I'm not anti-medicine.)
> 
> Many people tend to give up after that stage, so kudos that you are going further and remaining hopeful. You have our support.


None of the medication I've tried have really worked so far. I've been on Fluoxetine, Duloxetine, and I am now on Pregabalin, and none of them have showed any particular positive effect on me. I think the antipsychotics and the anti-anxiety pills I'm taking are the only ones that are *slightly* working and keeping me in control. I've waiting for so long for a magical cure that would make all my problems go away. I am disappointed and heartbroken that that medicine doesn't exist yet (or that I haven't found it, at least). So therapy is really my last resort at this point. Hope is all I've got left. If I didn't have any hope I would kill myself tomorrow. I will try and stay positive and hopeful and I'll keep you guys posted.


----------



## Citrine79

Mondo_Fernando said:


> When realised the scenario was so similar, was like. :O
> 
> No way.
> 
> Sorry to hear mate.
> 
> Hoping tomorrow is a better day.
> 
> Something Jessie J would say at 4:35+.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> So calming when she says it.
> 
> :hug


 Thanks! rough day at work..most Mondays are.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Citrine79 said:


> Thanks! rough day at work..most Mondays are.


You're welcome.

Hope you have a good rest of the day, good day tomorrow. :hug


----------



## The Library of Emma

Anxious. Sad. Tired. Wanting company but also wanting to be left alone.


----------



## harrison

Looking forward to lunch with my son. Haven't seen him for a while because of this stupid cold.


----------



## thomasjune

Long day but feels good to finally be home alone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Phel said:


> Anxious. Sad. Tired. Wanting company but also wanting to be left alone.


Maybe a Rockabye type song might help for distraction?






:stu



harrison said:


> Looking forward to lunch with my son. Haven't seen him for a while because of this stupid cold.


Wish you a great time with your son mate.


----------



## Crisigv

Useless. I had a flat tire at work tonight and I didn't have enough strength to loosen it without the right tools. My dad had to drive to me with the tools so he could do it. On the plus side, I didn't freak out when I discovered it. Stupid nail.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Wish you a great time with your son mate.


Thanks mate - had a good time, my wife came along too. Then I finally got my haircut - I look almost human again. :O


----------



## donistired

I don't know why I stick around. There's very obviously something wrong with me when it comes to my capacity to feel, to form meaningful relationships, and to enjoy normal things most people enjoy. I don't know if I should be alive. I don't see this getting better. Even if I get out of the slump I'm in right now, I know it's just going to be more of the same day in and day out. I'll never be "functional" socially. My whole life consumed by these problems day in and day out. I feel mentally burned out. I fear I'm merely tolerated at best by most people.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - had a good time, my wife came along too. Then I finally got my haircut - I look almost human again. :O


You're welcome mate.

It is good to hear that you had ä good time.

Wife too? :O

Me, you and @Suchness got haircuts this week.

Must be an Australian thing. :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Useless. I had a flat tire at work tonight and I didn't have enough strength to loosen it without the right tools. My dad had to drive to me with the tools so he could do it. On the plus side, I didn't freak out when I discovered it. Stupid nail.


No hammer to hammer the tyre iron?

Usually can lightly tap around the nut itself and sometimes nut can loosen enough.

Can do that with bottle tops which is where it is commonly used.

Punctures happen, usually easily fixed at tyre shop with a patch on the inside.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome mate.
> 
> It is good to hear that you had ä good time.
> 
> Wife too? :O


Yeah - she just works across the road mate - very close to where we have lunch.


----------



## kittykat2019

I’m feeling really stupid right now. Over the last 2 years, I’ve really pushed myself to be more social. I’ve actively joined in after-work social events, took up a new hobby and played in a group music recital in front of a bunch of people and made an effort to reach out to acquaintances to meet socially on average 1-2 times a month. My birthday is coming up and I actually got really excited for it, thinking I could have a little party. I even started researching bakeries to have a beautiful cake designed. But no one I know is available for any of the weeks near my birthday. I sort of wish I never tried to put myself out there. At least when I was isolating myself, I knew not to get excited and instead just focused on enjoying watching whatever was on Netflix. I just signed up for a shift doing meal prep and serving food at a homeless shelter on my birthday - this way I’m not isolating myself and I’m doing something productive. I just feel foolish for putting myself out there and really trying and getting the result I always feared.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Phel said:


> Anxious. Sad. Tired. Wanting company but also wanting to be left alone.


 Aww!  :hug :squeeze
...
Sadly I am feeling the same right now, even after visiting family at the beach today. :sigh


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> I'm having a peaceful moment. Sitting on the porch while it's raining. Enjoying a beer while hummingbirds harass each other.


Gorgeous scenery!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yeah - she just works across the road mate - very close to where we have lunch.


Sounds like your wife picked the restaurant.


----------



## Crisigv

Mondo_Fernando said:


> No hammer to hammer the tyre iron?
> 
> Usually can lightly tap around the nut itself and sometimes nut can loosen enough.
> 
> Can do that with bottle tops which is where it is commonly used.
> 
> Punctures happen, usually easily fixed at tyre shop with a patch on the inside.


I only had what comes with the car. Oh well, it's done.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I only had what comes with the car. Oh well, it's done.


Oh, then didn't have much to work with.


----------



## The Library of Emma

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Aww!  :hug :squeeze
> ...
> Sadly I am feeling the same right now, even after visiting family at the beach today. :sigh


I'm really sorry you're sharing the emotional cocktail. Thanks for the support 
Hugs for you too

:squeeze


----------



## versikk

Kinda discombobulated because life is a nightmarish Rollercoaster ride of emotions and personal tragedies, but uh, I'll survive.

Just gotta keep trucking. Improve your life or die trying.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## andy1984

idk a bit ****. rejection affected me more than I would admit? shes still on my mind. not ready to let it go...


----------



## 3stacks

Very regretful


----------



## andy1984

versikk said:


> Kinda discombobulated because life is a nightmarish Rollercoaster ride of emotions and personal tragedies, but uh, I'll survive.
> 
> Just gotta keep trucking. Improve your life or die trying.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


hope you can recombobulate soon.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Empty and missing my lost loved one.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Phel said:


> I'm really sorry you're sharing the emotional cocktail. Thanks for the support
> Hugs for you too
> :squeeze


No problem. 



andy1984 said:


> idk a bit ****. rejection affected me more than I would admit? shes still on my mind. not ready to let it go...


Aww.  :rub


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Empty and missing my lost loved one.


Awww.  :rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Awww.  :rub


Thanks mate.


----------



## Mystic290

I’m feeling lost confused and afraid


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## riverbird

Slightly anxious.


----------



## andy1984

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> No problem.
> 
> Aww.  :rub


thanks


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired


----------



## versikk

andy1984 said:


> hope you can recombobulate soon.


man, it'll take like a year or more but i do develop more resilience as time goes by, problems keep stacking but skin gets a bit thicker

it's hard to support ppl who are living a nightmare:afr i easily get sucked into the nightmare


----------



## 3stacks

Sad


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

riverbird said:


> Slightly anxious.


:hug



Canadian Brotha said:


> Tired


Hope you feel better after some sleep mate.



lily said:


> Today I slept too much so I feel awful  and like I can't go back to sleep but I ate well. I definitely have to go out tomorrow


:hug



3stacks said:


> Sad


Awww, matey potatey.

I hope that some sleep helps with that.

I'm feeling the same, lonely as miss my lost loved one.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

andy1984 said:


> thanks


No problem. It happens to the best of us.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Aw thanks so much Mondo. :hug lol, matey potatey :lol This forum doesn't show quote over quote like I've seen before on forums
> Well so there's this online friend who hasn't responded to me still, I'm not sure why but I think it's probably bc of a conversation we had prior to that and I really liked talking to him, perhaps he went on vacation too but I'm afraid that one day he wouldn't want to be friends anymore.  if that were to happen then I would just hope that God gives me someone like him or better. I'm also hoping to get what I want to do in September which is to go to fitness/dance classes and more. That'll cheer me up.


You're welcome. :hug

It is something one of the women I know says to to me. :stu

Oooooo, dancing. :O


----------



## Deaf Mute

Was feeling happy about some things before, but now I'm fking depressed as hell and want to die... I hate myself so much. I can't accept myself or like myself... I feel insecure about relations with people because I feel so ****.

I'm scared about the future and my parents are becoming more disordered and it's freaking me out (like they need psychiatric help scary)...

I'm scared I won't be good enough to survive when things go to ****. I want to cry I hate this. I fking hate being alive.

Being useless and poor and inferior + coming from a fskjdfahskj family is so fun, yeh! : )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

_Image removed_

like howtf am i supposed to escape my situation if im inferior and useless, i can't compete against other people and fiht my way, on top of that im fking poor, at leasst make me rich to compensate ffuk u. i really love this game so much... god loves to make people miserable and play jokes on mortals. : )

so much tragic irony =.= pisses me off because the ideal is needed to survive.

life is sht.

not to mention, tomorrow i have to pretenmd like im not about to fall apart and put on a big fat smiley face....


----------



## JustJordan

Tired and unmotivated. I need to at least vacuum though.


----------



## 8888

Tired

Sent from my XT1526 using Tapatalk


----------



## CNikki

Slightly anxious, a bit upset/angry, but at the same time...calm?

The first two have been around for some time. The anger bit probably more so because of certain situations. But I'm trying to remain calm since the said-situations weren't my problems nor perpetuated by me to begin with. They still aren't.


----------



## SorryForMyEnglish

I wanted to die recently, but now I don't because my therapist is awesome. Especially during last sessions, especially during this session. Although my emotions are incredibly overwhelming recently. To the point where I can't even handle them so even some positive ones feel painful. I feel so drained of energy and I want to sleep all the time and to sleep more than I usually do. 

And my pulse is even at higher rate now although I got rid of thyrotoxicosis in recently and my hormone levels are not that bad.


----------



## blue2

Ugh !!


----------



## Graeme1988

Me? I'm feeling rather $h!%*. So, same as usual, really.

Nuthin' is working out how it should for me. Then again, it rarely does. I'm being disappointed more frequently than usual. Cuz, any time I agree to help do something on a certain day, at a particular time, they go ahead n' change their f__kin' minds last minute. :bash

And, apparently now, am huvin to apologise on behalf of one o' my sisters for an argument with our mother that _*she* - my sister -_ started.  _Eh, naw ! You can f__k right off !

Why should it come from me, anyway? It's no me who need to say sorry..._


----------



## Keisha81

Tired, lonely, misunderstood and taken for granted


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Slightly anxious, a bit upset/angry, but at the same time...calm?
> 
> The first two have been around for some time. The anger bit probably more so because of certain situations. But I'm trying to remain calm since the said-situations weren't my problems nor perpetuated by me to begin with. They still aren't.


Awww.  :hug :squeeze Hope you feel better tonight. Sleep should help. I have been there, trust me.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sad about something personal but other than that I'm okay.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Keisha81 said:


> Tired, lonely, misunderstood and taken for granted


 :hug :squeeze


PurplePeopleEater said:


> Sad about something personal but other than that I'm okay.


  :hug :squeeze


----------



## 0589471

Sad and alone.


----------



## Entrensik

Idk why this person triggers my sadness lol thank god for Lana Del Rey. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SorryForMyEnglish said:


> I wanted to die recently,


:hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Sad about something personal but other than that I'm okay.


:hug



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Sad and alone.


:hug

We have to make you laugh, hmmmm.

Not sure if can view this but.






Those people in Nashville Tennessee.

Those people check your hearing constantly.

You come back now ya hear.

:lol


----------



## donistired

Like I should probably be asleep instead of on here


----------



## lerz

Feeling I should go to bed because when I stay up late I get depressed. Haven't gone to bed on time in 6 months man. Dumb!


----------



## harrison

I'm so bored I think I'm going insane. I really need to get a life.


----------



## CNikki

Know when you’ve been really drunk the night before and then wake up hung over and have agony as to what might have happened? Not so much the drunk part, but most certainly the rest, including the after effect.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I'm so bored I think I'm going insane. I really need to get a life.


One thinks that means a random trip too...............:O


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> One thinks that means a random trip too...............:O


There is that possibility mate. 

I really need to start building a new life here though as well - something more than I've got now. I'm pretty much used to living alone now so I need to get on with it. I need a good kick up the ***.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> There is that possibility mate.
> 
> I really need to start building a new life here though as well - something more than I've got now. I'm pretty much used to living alone now so I need to get on with it. I need a good kick up the ***.


Need a Gunny / Army pick me up to motivate.


----------



## SparklingWater

Happy to relax for a few days. Weary of starting classes again. Frustrated I don't have enough money to see this lady 3x's a week for a year and close out this chapter of my life for good (well, as closed as it can be.)


----------



## caelle

Nervous. I have a dentist appointment this morning. I've already been several times this year and the worst is over, but it's never nice to be there.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Misunderstood, and alone.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I honestly just want to go back to bed and sleep indefinitely.


----------



## SplendidBob

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Sad and alone.





SamanthaStrange said:


> Misunderstood, and alone.


Also in the alone club.

Hope you both feel better and less alone soon.


----------



## SunshineSam218

I feel very numb right now...


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@iAmCodeMonkey :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Sad and alone.


"hugs"


CNikki said:


> Know when you've been really drunk the night before and then wake up hung over and have agony as to what might have happened? Not so much the drunk part, but most certainly the rest, including the after effect.


"hugs"


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Missing my lost loved one.


----------



## 0589471

:squeeze @SplendidBob @SamanthaStrange @iAmCodeMonkey @Mondo_Fernando


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Missing my lost loved one.


 :rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> :squeeze @SplendidBob @SamanthaStrange @iAmCodeMonkey @Mondo_Fernando


Thank you. :hug

Hoping you are ok and life is treating you well.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub


Thanks mate.

I hope you are ok.


----------



## harrison

My mind is running too damn fast - half a Valium will help slow things down a bit. I feel like often I can't get started on things. In the past when I've taken a small amount of sedative I could just slow down and focus on what I wanted to do - like get my books organised or something.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison

Try focusing on one object in a room and breathing in and out fully.

Sometimes can be focused on too many things.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @harrison
> 
> Try focusing on one object in a room and breathing in and out fully.
> 
> Sometimes can be focused on too many things.


Okay mate - I'll give it a try. It's very hard to focus when I get like this but I 'll try.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Okay mate - I'll give it a try. It's very hard to focus when I get like this but I 'll try.


It is about finding a natural way to calm down.

I know it works to calm down mentally after exercising.


----------



## SuperSky

Sad. I am a non-person.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SuperSky

Sorry to hear that mate.


----------



## scooby

Bittersweet. Mostly bitter, with a homeopathic dose of sweetness.


----------



## Jadewolf

Just quite nervous because I got shouted at last night by my boyfriend.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, but I don't want to bother people with my problems.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

:hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tipsy, lonely, and horny. :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@iAmCodeMonkey

Topsy on Fanta? :O


----------



## Wanderlust26

Infuriated. Got into an argument with the former landlord about my security deposit. She kept pushing and pushing and trying to manipulate me to keep half of it, so once again I had to get crazy and screamed in her face and finally she agreed to give my full security deposit back. 

Nice girls always get taken advantage of, and it's people like her who make me want to be an ******* just like them.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @*iAmCodeMonkey*
> Topsy on Fanta? :O


No, it was cider. :grin2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> No, it was cider. :grin2:


Hiccup, beer googles. :O


----------



## zonebox

Too tired to do anything fun, but I really don't want to go to bed yet. I really should get some sleep though. I spent most of my day modding morrowind, and getting everything to work just right  I think when it comes to gaming, I enjoy setting things up more than I do playing the game. Right now I am trying to conceive of a way to position objects, for when I get a home, it seems easy enough to script, but I won't know until I actually get to work on it. I just finished Skyrim the day before yesterday and that was a lot of fun. 

Otherwise, we have a hurricane on the way, but I'm not too worried about it.


----------



## EarthDominator

Broken & alone.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Super duper melancholic, I feel unloved I need physical affection, I don't want to wake up tomorrow. 

I hate myself, why can't I be enough. I want to be free


----------



## SamanthaStrange

The same combination of bored, anxious, lonely, and depressed that I feel every day. Everything feels so meaningless.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> The same combination of bored, anxious, lonely, and depressed that I feel every day. Everything feels so meaningless.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## blunthead

I'm feeling a bit sad today. I've been feeling socially isolated lately. I've been under stress and it's been causing me to feel more vulnerable to my anxiety. I'm just feeling the persistent fear, for lack of a more specific word, more so. Today, I'm having to face how awkward I feel, have always felt, about how I sometimes behave around women. There's a ladyfriend of mine to whom I've been very attracted but who I know is not a good match due to a couple of fundamental differences - and I think she would agree with me - who the past few days seems to have been avoiding me. I can't blame her for that, she's being honest. I'm actually grateful that we will inevitably come to an understanding of what to expect from one another as only friends. It's just that these differences, always in the back of my mind, cause me to be uncomfortable to the point of my feeling clumsy because I can't allow myself to get more emotionally involved when I know it'd just lead to pain. That experience and a couple of others lately have made me come to the conclusion that I have SAD, because negative feelings I've had as long as I can remember but which haven't impacted me for years suddenly came over me, crippling feelings of social inadequacy and self-loathing. I looked for some support and found this forum for which I'm very grateful. Thanx everybody for being here. I hope I can contribute well and find some friendship and help in the process.


----------



## Eternal Solitude

I find myself sad , anxious and lonely. I wish I could have someone to talk to... *sigh*


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Eternal Solitude said:


> I find myself sad , anxious and lonely. I wish I could have someone to talk to... *sigh*


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

EarthDominator said:


> Broken & alone.


 :rub


Deaf Mute said:


> Super duper melancholic, I feel unloved I need physical affection, I don't want to wake up tomorrow.
> 
> I hate myself, why can't I be enough. I want to be free


 :rub


----------



## blunthead

Eternal Solitude said:


> I find myself sad , anxious and lonely. I wish I could have someone to talk to... *sigh*


I'm sorry. Maybe tomorrow will be better.


----------



## Eternal Solitude

@blunthead, @iAmCodeMonkey

Thank you guys for your support.


----------



## SparklingWater

Preemptively beleaguered. Idk why I thought all this overtime was a good idea. It was NOT lmao. I might not make it til Monday. At least it's a double pay holiday. Just hold on for the double pay and then die a quick death on Tuesday morning. Past me is a greedy ***** who doesn't care how things affect future me. Applies to money, food, procrastination, avoidance. My mantra is 'that's a problem for future me.'


----------



## strugglingintro

I feel like I'm not getting anywhere career wise.

I feel like I'm in a video game, where the player purposely put obstacles or big fat walls in front of me (to prevent me from achieving my goals and meeting my needs) and self-righteous, psychopathic extroverts in my life just for the fun of it. When it comes to getting a break, I'm at the mercy of that player.


----------



## SplendidBob

Flip flopping today between grief and the most excruciating sense of loneliness I have ever felt, and being ok. Literally flipping between massive despair then kinda "coming out of it" randomly. Then a few stray thoughts or feelings and am back in it. Really really uncomfortable and don't know wtf is wrong with me.


----------



## Eleonora91

Terrible, I wish you could be here to see how terrible I'm feeling when you claimed I was enjoying this.



Eternal Solitude said:


> I find myself sad , anxious and lonely. I wish I could have someone to talk to... *sigh*


I might not know you, but my inbox is always open if anyone needs even just to vent.


----------



## abcdefghjk

I feel somewhat hopeful, but I'm also scared that I'm going to keep failing


----------



## versikk

SplendidBob said:


> Flip flopping today between grief and the most excruciating sense of loneliness I have ever felt, and being ok. Literally flipping between massive despair then kinda "coming out of it" randomly. Then a few stray thoughts or feelings and am back in it. Really really uncomfortable and don't know wtf is wrong with me.


i started crying read this. matches my mood this weekend pretty well. ...

i have never been so depressed in my entire life as i am now. :cry i feel worse than when my sibling said they tried to kill themselves.

i cant fcvking go on like this. i need to recalibrate my existence.i cant FCVKING GO ON LLIKE THIS

Bob you gotta stay strong and just keep moving. i know that feeling of "i meaaaaaan we could probably reconnect down the line when the storm has passed". you have to dismiss the thoughts, again and again. after a time, they will start to dissipate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SplendidBob

Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

I'm feeling very lonely, empty.


----------



## SplendidBob

versikk said:


> i started crying read this. matches my mood this weekend pretty well. ...
> 
> i have never been so depressed in my entire life as i am now. :cry i feel worse than when my sibling said they tried to kill themselves.
> 
> i cant fcvking go on like this. i need to recalibrate my existence.i cant FCVKING GO ON LLIKE THIS


Sorry to hear you are feeling like **** too. Emotional pain is a special kind of agony isn't it. That kinda confusing pain that you can't understand, and it feels like you should be able to control it, but you can't get away from it like physical pain, it just keeps ****ing you, and ****ing you. Hang in there V.



versikk said:


> Bob you gotta stay strong and just keep moving. i know that feeling of "i meaaaaaan we could probably reconnect down the line when the storm has passed". you have to dismiss the thoughts, again and again. after a time, they will start to dissipate.


There are windows, where its eased up. And lessons. So many lessons. I will survive. Thanks .


----------



## SplendidBob

@Mondo_Fernando thanks, and sorry you are feeling lonely too. Loneliness is some nasty **** eh?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SplendidBob said:


> @Mondo_Fernando thanks, and sorry you are feeling lonely too. Loneliness is some nasty **** eh?


You're welcome mate.

It is mate.

Thanks mate.

Haven't talked to many people since the murder of my loved one and very on edge.

As far as I know the perpetrator(s) are still out and about, as haven't heard anything about them being arrested.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Lost of identity. Who am I?


----------



## Crisigv

Very alone all of a sudden.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Relieved after talking on the phone with one of my old coworkers earlier. She was telling me not to let people get to me at work. Seems like ever since I've become a manager, I feel like I've gotten more mean looks from people and people act like they dont really want to talk to me. I told her there's like three or four people there that like me and she said the friends you have are usually the ones you can count on one finger. I really miss her. Even though she was a lot older than me, she was friendly to talk to. 

I wouldn't really call them friends, though since I only talk to them at work and dont hang out but still. I won't let this get to me.


----------



## SpartanSaber

I feel sad and lonely, I don't see a good/happy future for myself. No matter what I do I always feel sad, I always pretend that I'm happy so that people won't ask what's wrong. But it really just hurts so much inside.


----------



## CNikki

Kind of upset. I keep thinking about certain people and events that have taken place. One I should definitely not expect any type of change or compromises in their behavior, but it still hurts because of who this person is...


----------



## zonebox

Pretty amazing at the moment, I'm feeling full of life. I'm in each moment, and appreciating what I can appreciate, drinking rum and cola, listening to some music, letting my mind wander off and just loving it, as each moment ticks by. Right now, I'm just amazed at it all, I didn't follow any of the paths that were laid before me, I had no destination, no course plotted out, never expected very much, and I'm happy with where I am.


----------



## MCHB

...erm...


I've been getting wasted for three days!


Livin the dream lol....


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, older, distressed.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Fun Spirit said:


> Lost of identity. Who am I?


Funmeister. :yes



Crisigv said:


> Very alone all of a sudden.


Awww. :hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Relieved after talking on the phone with one of my old coworkers earlier. She was telling me not to let people get to me at work. Seems like ever since I've become a manager, I feel like I've gotten more mean looks from people and people act like they dont really want to talk to me. I told her there's like three or four people there that like me and she said the friends you have are usually the ones you can count on one finger. I really miss her. Even though she was a lot older than me, she was friendly to talk to.
> 
> I wouldn't really call them friends, though since I only talk to them at work and dont hang out but still. I won't let this get to me.


:hug

Not an easy job for anyone.


----------



## Greenmacaron

Feeling used by my sister who only wants to hang out now her husband has gone back to work. Also feel looked down upon by my family who think I’m weird for not wanting the whole marriage and kids thing. A lot of it is probably my own perception of things but it’s the vibe I get from them.


----------



## BeautyandRage

Like a bad b****


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando The job I have is easy. It's the coworkers that make it hard. My old coworker told me I dont hsve to help the people in that department if I dont want to. She said the head manager over there never appreciated her help anyways. And yesterday, the assistant manager acted grumpy with me and I dont even work for her. But yea. My old coworker 5old me that people aren't there to make friends. They're there to make money so theres no point in talking to people except to just be talkative and nothing more.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

The old business is business and personal is personal saying.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> The old business is business and personal is personal saying.


I'm honestly confused. xD What does that mean?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm honestly confused. xD What does that mean?


At work it is business like, serious face, etc and there to do a job.

Outside business it is personal where you socialize.

Hence business is business and personal is personal.

You may relate to a customer to make a sale, but it is still business like.

Sometimes easy for many people to mix them up, get upset when don't get a certain response.

For many business like comes across as being cold, but it is to stop being taken advantage of by customers or other business people.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> At work it is business like, serious face, etc and there to do a job.
> 
> Outside business it is personal where you socialize.
> 
> Hence business is business and personal is personal.
> 
> You may relate to a customer to make a sale, but it is still business like.
> 
> Sometimes easy for many people to mix them up, get upset when don't get a certain response.
> 
> For many business like comes across as being cold, but it is to stop being taken advantage of by customers or other business people.


Then people shouldn't get mad at me because I dont talk. It's not that hard to understand. Besides that, I do talk or am I just noticing it more than everyone else? Pretty pathetic if that's the case. Stupid social standards is what it is.

I'm feeling unloved and unwanted as usual. No one likes me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Then people shouldn't get mad at me because I dont talk. It's not that hard to understand. Besides that, I do talk or am I just noticing it more than everyone else? Pretty pathetic if that's the case. Stupid social standards is what it is.


It happens. I have seen business owners be all socialable with others, then turn on the business face with me.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm feeling unloved and unwanted as usual. No one likes me.


Not true matey. :hug

It is hard to find someone that you click with. Sometimes takes meeting hundreds of people.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm feeling unloved and unwanted as usual. No one likes me.


Awww. Poor Shelbster!  :hug :squeeze


----------



## ForeverInBloom

It seems that with every passing day, the reality of depression is sinking in. Always feeling as if the sky is grey, seeing everything in a darker light and having a hard time seeing how I should be, what, happy?

Its funny because I was reading Scarface's autobiography, and in it, he says he struggled with depression. Funny enough, in "Mind Playing Tricks On Me", he talks about just that, but I never paid attention until I heard the song last night.

I think about suicide, but I can't see myself doing it. Im not suicidal, but in a weird way, I feel like I could understand the why. 

It reminds me of when my friend who is in the military wanted to go bar hopping whilst on leave, and I agreed. As soon as we get to the first bar, I changed my mind as soon as I saw the crowd of people already there, and suggested we just get liquor and drink at home. He realizes I'm getting anxious and asks me why I'm so shy. We ended up leaving and getting some 40's.

I remember the conversation we had about my anxiety and how I felt I could understand why people take their lives. He had a disgusted look on his face, asked if I really believed that. Feeling alone, like an outcast everywhere you go, odd one out in the family, having a hard time connecting with people. At least its why I think about it from time to time.

I remember he responded by telling me that I'm not out there on the frontlines, and that I have no idea what it's like to be on the verge of actual life and death. How my thoughts are not as significant and my reality isnt as bad as I theirs. That **** cut like a knife, almost as if he disregarded my actual feelings and saying "No, your **** isn't real." He's not wrong though, I can't imagine what it's like being in infantry and risking it all. But my thoughts and feelings are still here.

We haven't talked since, lol. I`m pretty sure he thinks I'm pathetic because of that conversation, but if being frank and open gets me that response and reaction, it'll be the last time I ever bring something like this up with someone face to face.

It just seems that with every passing year, it seems to seem even darker, not sure what to look forward to. With that being said, I really hope the best for people who are going through a hard time right now, those who feel alone, and hope you get better and find what you are looking for.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Kind of upset. I keep thinking about certain people and events that have taken place. One I should definitely not expect any type of change or compromises in their behavior, but it still hurts because of who this person is...


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## discopotato

Excited. I finally have two tattoos that I've been wanting for years booked


----------



## AffinityWing

Tired

These gen eds kind of make me feel like I'm repeating high school and frustrated that I can't take actually take anything major-specific already. It makes the feeling of "not wanting to go to school" come back all over again but I guess I'll just have to bear it for awhile.


----------



## SofaKing

Excruciatingly alone.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Excited. I finally have two tattoos that I've been wanting for years booked


Cool.

So that is what you are excited about.

Big tattoos?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SofaKing said:


> Excruciatingly alone.


Sorry to hear that mate.


----------



## f1ora

ive been feeling lonely but overwhelmingly sleepy atm


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

f1ora said:


> ive been feeling lonely but overwhelmingly sleepy atm


Sorry to hear that.


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Worthless


No. :no


----------



## discopotato

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Cool.
> 
> So that is what you are excited about.
> 
> Big tattoos?


among other things, yeah  
Somewhere in the middle I guess, not small but not massive either


----------



## PandaBearx

Anxious, nauseous, tired. Lost.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> among other things, yeah
> Somewhere in the middle I guess, not small but not massive either


Ooooo. 

Sounds cool. What theme? Gothic looking?


----------



## Elle Knight

Broken hearted 😞 My dad's dog died today and I just cant help it....I am at work and I wish I could go home under the covers and bawl my eyes out!!! Or for someone to hold me ...


----------



## Graeme1988

Elle Knight said:


> Broken hearted &#128542; My dad's dog died today and I just cant help it....I am at work and I wish I could go home under the covers and bawl my eyes out!!! Or for someone to hold me ...


 :hug


----------



## Elle Knight

Graeme1988 said:


> Elle Knight said:
> 
> 
> 
> Broken hearted &#128542; My dad's dog died today and I just cant help it....I am at work and I wish I could go home under the covers and bawl my eyes out!!! Or for someone to hold me ...
Click to expand...

What does that mean?


----------



## Eleonora91

I've been feeling incredibly depressed during the last few days. I did the hardest thing and told my dad and he asked me what was wrong and if I knew why I was feeling like that... I told him the truth... I don't know why but I think I have depression. I was feeling so depressed earlier that I couldn't find the strength to even take a shower. I'm gonna address this with my psychiatrist tomorrow and hopefully he'll give me some antidepressants. My last attempt with them was terrible and I never wanted to take them again because of the side effects but I see no other solution right now.



Elle Knight said:


> Broken hearted &#128542; My dad's dog died today and I just cant help it....I am at work and I wish I could go home under the covers and bawl my eyes out!!! Or for someone to hold me ...


You have all of my support Jan. :heart


----------



## discopotato

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Ooooo.
> 
> Sounds cool. What theme? Gothic looking?


hmm a little but not really :b


----------



## Elle Knight

Eleonora91 said:


> I've been feeling incredibly depressed during the last few days. I did the hardest thing and told my dad and he asked me what was wrong and if I knew why I was feeling like that... I told him the truth... I don't know why but I think I have depression. I was feeling so depressed earlier that I couldn't find the strength to even take a shower. I'm gonna address this with my psychiatrist tomorrow and hopefully he'll give me some antidepressants. My last attempt with them was terrible and I never wanted to take them again because of the side effects but I see no other solution right now.
> 
> 
> 
> Elle Knight said:
> 
> 
> 
> Broken hearted &#128542; My dad's dog died today and I just cant help it....I am at work and I wish I could go home under the covers and bawl my eyes out!!! Or for someone to hold me ...
> 
> 
> 
> You have all of my support Jan.
Click to expand...

Thanks Elly and you have my support too. Thank you, I appreciate it. I really hope your doctor addresses the issue in the best way possible.


----------



## versikk

these last few days i have felt TORTURED by the most intense bout of paranoia and anxiety in pretty much my entire life, definitely in the top 5 worst periods of my life.

saw the most horrible existence flash before my eyes, an imagined (but possible) scenario of the next 20-30 years of my life.

hoping this makes me stronger........ i don't think this is the last time i'll feel like this..... i feel like my mental stability has reached a new level of deterioration.


----------



## CNikki

Stressed. Bothered. Wondering if what I'm doing with certain areas of my life is the right thing (for me, anyway...) I'm tired of being nothing more than a doormat.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Better than usual, lets hope it lasts until the weekend.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Stressed. Bothered. Wondering if what I'm doing with certain areas of my life is the right thing (for me, anyway...) I'm tired of being nothing more than a doormat.


Awww. Gaining self-confidence is hard, I know the feeling. It sometimes take a entire lifetime for some people. You got this, girl.  :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Elle Knight said:


> Broken hearted &#128542; My dad's dog died today and I just cant help it....I am at work and I wish I could go home under the covers and bawl my eyes out!!! Or for someone to hold me ...


Sorry to hear. :hug



discopotato said:


> hmm a little but not really :b


One is left wondering what it is. :yes :b

Hope it does make you feel better once had it done.


----------



## SplendidBob

Drunk, nostalgic.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SplendidBob


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Awww. Gaining self-confidence is hard, I know the feeling. It sometimes take a entire lifetime for some people. You got this, girl.  :hug :squeeze


I don't know if it's a self-confidence issue at this point. More like dissociation. I know it's wrong and it does feel like what my intuition tries to tell me is more often than not correct. It's a dynamic of issues that I won't bombard on here.


----------



## Crisigv

Pretty crappy


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Pretty crappy


Aww. :hug


----------



## 0589471

Should never have been born. Waste of space.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Should never have been born. Waste of space.




Ah, no. :hug

Everyone makes mistakes (makes us human). Just try to learn from it.

SA makes it worse sometimes to learn from our mistakes.


----------



## Elle Knight

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Elle Knight said:
> 
> 
> 
> Broken hearted &#128542; My dad's dog died today and I just cant help it....I am at work and I wish I could go home under the covers and bawl my eyes out!!! Or for someone to hold me ...
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry to hear.
> 
> 
> 
> discopotato said:
> 
> 
> 
> hmm a little but not really
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> One is left wondering what it is.
> 
> Hope it does make you feel better once had it done.
Click to expand...

Thank you


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Elle Knight said:


> Thank you


You're welcome.


----------



## discopotato

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sorry to hear. :hug
> 
> One is left wondering what it is. :yes :b
> 
> Hope it does make you feel better once had it done.


Maybe I'll show you when its done :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Maybe I'll show you when its done :b


That would be cool. But only if you want to.


----------



## Suchness

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Should never have been born. Waste of space.


Not true beautiful Schmetterling.


----------



## harrison

Like I've been hit by a truck. I can't believe what can happen in my own mind without me doing anything. Had a horrible day yesterday and felt terrible last night - then my wife has to call and debrief about her bad day at the office, which just upsets me more. Then a friend of mine calls and makes it worse.

People without mental health issues really do have no understanding of what this is like.


----------



## firestar

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Should never have been born. Waste of space.


:squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison



Some Antique Road Show therapy.


----------



## SparklingWater

Amazing


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @harrison
> 
> 
> 
> Some Antique Road Show therapy.


That's a nice one mate - thanks for showing me. Some of the Mormon's early books are very valuable - I've heard stories about them before. That bookseller (Sanders) is quite a well-known guy in the book world over in the States too.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> That's a nice one mate - thanks for showing me. Some of the Mormon's early books are very valuable - I've heard stories about them before. That bookseller (Sanders) is quite a well-known guy in the book world over in the States too.


You're welcome mate.

Rare because are thrown away when worn.

Seems to love his books, even going after stolen books, etc.
@PurplePeopleEater

Has some books she recently bought. In the other thread I mentioned you in.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome mate.
> 
> Rare because are thrown away when worn.
> 
> Seems to love his books, even going after stolen books, etc.
> 
> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> Has some books she recently bought. In the other thread I mentioned you in.


Yes I saw that mate - just not feeling very well today I'm afraid. But if she ever comes across any old Harry Potter books she knows who to call.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yes I saw that mate - just not feeling very well today I'm afraid. But if she ever comes across any old Harry Potter books she knows who to call.


Oh, ok.

Noted.


----------



## Euripides

I don't know.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

bored etc


----------



## Graeme1988

Elle Knight said:


> What does that mean?


That I'm sorry to hear that your feeling heartbroken.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Extremely anxious.


----------



## Suchness

SamanthaStrange said:


> Extremely anxious.


Sending you hugs and kisses Sammy girl.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, older.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Suchness said:


> Sending you hugs and kisses Sammy girl.


Thank you.


----------



## Graeme1988

Not doing so well, really...

But ah can't say anything, _cuz whit right do ah huv to be depressed? Huh!?_ That's the question I always get from my family whenever I speak up on how I'm doing, up there, in the old heid. Ah guess I should be overjoyed that the last 2 years, from summer 2017 up until now, been just the same routine; the _same day_ over n' over? Happy that my life's just a miserable as the rest of my family's lives, except am no as vocal aboot it. To honest, y'see... I've never been one for hiding how ah feel. Mainly because I'm rather $h!% at that.

Aye, there's the odd distraction here n' there. Usually in the form of a music concert or a live comedy show. But the temporary joy from those tends to disappear within a day for me now, because I go back to boring routine of being stuck in a rut. Wanting it to just end; wanting to change it but knowing I'll face resentment and the usual bitterness from my mother and sisters for huvin' the balls to actually get on with my life n' try to be happy with what I've got.

If am honest, all I want to do is go back to April 2017 and relive that period of my life between then until July. Because I was genuinely happy back then. More so than I am now. Ah wus'nae gittin' oot ma bed ever morning wondering: _"Why tha f__k did ah even bother?"_


----------



## Suchness

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Tired, older.


Will I get older?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Suchness said:


> Will I get older?


You haven't aged a bit through the googles, hiccup. :b


----------



## Elle Knight

Graeme1988 said:


> Elle Knight said:
> 
> 
> 
> What does that mean?
> 
> 
> 
> That I'm sorry to hear that your feeling heartbroken.
Click to expand...

Thank you


----------



## Suchness

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You haven't aged a bit through the googles, hiccup. :b


In a way I still feel like young Goku.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Suchness said:


> In a way I still feel like young Goku.


Got your mums youthful genes.


----------



## donistired

Worthless. Tired. Angry.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Don said:


> Worthless. Tired. Angry.


You and me both.


----------



## 973639

Lonely and bored


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## Crisigv

Meaningless. The world doesn't need me.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty gewd, I've been goofing around with an older game and setting it up to work as I want it to. It's Thursday, which means only one more day of waking up early plus I get to have some rum and cola tomorrow  

In the grand scheme of things, or even the smaller scheme of things, none of it really matters and it is pointless, which I completely acknowledge - none of these things I do will ever progress me into the next stage of life, but it fills my time, and brings a bit of joy to me. So, now I can wander the streets of my game as a vampire, and hide the fact that I am a blood sucking parasite, slowly amassing vampire followers, and no one is any the wiser... that kind of brings a bit of happiness to me. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, listening to some industrial rock, and sipping away at my rum for three to four hours, while turning people into vampires.

Trivial things, make simple people happy. I think at some stage in my life, I stopped caring if something was pointless or not, and just started to do things that make me happy. Sitting around all day in front of a computer, is supposed to be a horrific experience, if I were to listen to others, I will never accomplish anything playing video games!  Drinking in excess (6 shots is considered binge drinking now) is supposed to lead to a life of regret, instead I should be going to Church on Sundays, and hanging with friends (in my large house, so I can host them) At some point, at a really young age actually, I saw all of these grown ups doing these weird things, and recognizing just how pointless it all was.. they seemed miserable all of the time. I think I never really made that same connection they did, nice big homes, lots of friends to hang out with, shiny cars, that stuff to me seems pointless. I mean, just as pointless as video games, and drinking a whopping 6 shots is pointless to them. I would rather choose the trivial things I enjoy.

So, I feel pretty good in the environment I have set up for myself. I'm sure for others, this would be a literal hell, but then their life would be a literal hell for me. I can't really complain, because I 44 and I do what I want! (Jerry Springer reference, if you're old you might get it)


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Meaningless. The world doesn't need me.


It does need you. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Worthless





A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Should never have been born. Waste of space.



* *


----------



## donistired

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> You and me both.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> Been doing a quite a bit of traveling and going to and hosting meets, but I'm still not happy. No job, no relationship. Life could always be way better than it is, but it could be a whole lot ****tier as well.


 :rub


----------



## versikk

i have to stop trying to bond with people on here who are clearly not interested in bonding with me


----------



## Deaf Mute

versikk said:


> i have to stop trying to bond with people on here who are clearly not interested in bonding with me


They're probably overwhelmed by your spunky, magnanimous personality and don't have time to indulge/or prefer to keep distance and observe


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> I hope you and I get better soon.


Here's hoping, lily. Though, at the moment, I'm not so sure my situation's gonnae improve any. 

Getting really fed up having to put up with the family drama I'm caught in the middle of. Not to mention, being told I'm wrong by my older sister whenever I'm asked about something computer related. _"How's it that, though...?"_ :bash I don't know ! Ah mean I'm only going with what the issue could be. Cuz I did a computer studies course during my secondary school years.

_But, nah ! I'm the dumb one. Always have been, always will be._


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Graeme1988

You seem highly intelligent to me mate.


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @Graeme1988
> 
> You seem highly intelligent to me mate.


I, _eh..._ highly doubt that at times. :lol Seriously. Even if one of my cousins told me a few years ago that she thinks I'm one of only 2 members of our whole family that's actually smart.

Or that I'm a _"right clever c_nt"_, as she so elegantly put it.


----------



## CNikki

Guilt and nervous.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> I, _eh..._ highly doubt that at times. :lol Seriously. Even if one of my cousins told me a few years ago that she thinks I'm one of only 2 members of our whole family that's actually smart.
> 
> Or that I'm a _"right clever c_nt"_, as she so elegantly put it.


Sometimes people are more practical than academic. So when struggle academically they think are not smart. But in reality are highly intelligent.

Some learn by being shown in a practical way (apply what is shown in a book).

Some learn by reading books in an academic way (learn from just reading a book).

When I did a test for this, learnt that I'm both practical, academic.


----------



## Noca

Not too bad atm.


----------



## harrison

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> Bored
> 
> Roll on Nurmagomedov vs Poirier


Have you got any meetups on this weekend? Good to see you back btw - was wondering what you'd been up to and hoping you've been alright.


----------



## harrison

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> No meet ups. Did one last week and had a day out with someone. Planned/Hosted one for this week but cancelled it due to people pulling out and hardly anyone signing up in the first place. Very hard to get people to do things, and if they do, they'll get stuck in an avoidant rut again and you won't see them for ages, if at all.
> 
> Been enjoying the great outdoors and going to London a lot to explore all over the place. Saw Borris take the podium the day he became PM. Was chaos outside downing Street. Got a selfie with Maria Sharapova in Leicester Square. Went to Nigella Lawsons house and nosed through the window like a stalker. Couldn't smell any cooking, otherwise I'd have broken in. lol :wink2:
> 
> Went to the BBC Good Food Show and Gardeners world live, and had cooking demonstrations with Ramon Blanc, Tom Kerridge and Master Chef winner Kenny Tutt.
> 
> Been up to quite a bit. Feel better but I'm just trying to distract myself and still avoiding all the **** I shouldn't be tbh.


I know what you mean about the meetups - I used to do that too, even hosted them for a while as well. It gets a bit much after a while as you probably already know. I wouldn't mind going to some meetups for just regular people (as opposed to mental health ones) - haven't really done that much before.

That sounds great! Sounds like you've been having a good time. I'd like to come to London again some day - I was mad as a hatter when I was there last time. Too manic to really even know or care where I was. It's a great city though with a lot of things to see.

I'm also a bit of a fan of that Nigella Lawson - don't really care about her cooking though tbh.


----------



## Entrensik

Well depression has been kicking my *** this week but overall I have a lot to look forward to and be grateful for. Let's keep it going. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## SparklingWater

Inspired. Excited. Loved. Hopeful.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That want to dance to this music.


* *












Yeah, I'm going to do the Conga. :b


----------



## Crisigv

I'm worthless garbage, and I'll never be anything more.


----------



## Kevin001

Weird....."friend" is telling people she turned me down......so weird because I never looked at her more than a friend.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I'm worthless garbage, and I'll never be anything more.


No. :hug


----------



## Mystic290

I’m just not feeling pretty anymore...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## SparklingWater

Disgusted. Encountered so many instances of casual racism this week. I'm not super sensitive to racism, many things that bother others don't bother me. But it really does feel like since Trump has been in office pple feel a lot more free to express their inner thoughts on other races. It's sad and scary.


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sometimes people are more practical than academic. So when struggle academically they think are not smart. But in reality are highly intelligent.
> 
> Some learn by being shown in a practical way (apply what is shown in a book).
> 
> Some learn by reading books in an academic way (learn from just reading a book).
> 
> When I did a test for this, learnt that I'm both practical, academic.


I'm probably more practical... and maybe a wee bit academic, since my only means of learning the guitar after I quit taking lessons was via guitar tab books.


----------



## SofaKing

Pretty hopeless. I have so much to share and there's a specific person whom I wish to share it. I don't think it'll ever happen, though.


----------



## harrison

Feeling good. Beautiful day, spring is here. Going up to the house to see the wife and hopefully my boy can make it too. I feel like I'm a very lucky guy.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> I'm probably more practical... and maybe a wee bit academic, since my only means of learning the guitar after I quit taking lessons was via guitar tab books.


Means you are highly intelligent. :yes


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Feeling good. Beautiful day, spring is here. Going up to the house to see the wife and hopefully my boy can make it too. I feel like I'm a very lucky guy.


We got 4 seasons in one day.

Wish you a safe trip and a good time with family.

You are blessed.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> We got 4 seasons in one day.
> 
> Wish you a safe trip and a good time with family.
> 
> You are blessed.


Thanks mate - hope you have a nice weekend too.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - hope you have a nice weekend too.


You're welcome.

Thank you.


----------



## SparklingWater

Relieved to have a reprieve from this dental pain. Most excruciating pain I've had in my 32 yrs.


----------



## zonebox

SparklingWater said:


> Relieved to have a reprieve from this dental pain. Most excruciating pain I've had in my 32 yrs.


I hear that, and I completely agree. The worst pain I have ever experienced in my life, was a toothache. I mean, I've had toothaches that were not so horrible, and easy to deal with, but there have been occasions where it goes well beyond that, and dwells in places of absolute misery that only those that have experienced it will be able to relate with. It is a pain that just lingers, not for minutes, hours, days, but weeks if not taken care of. There is no refuge from it either, it doesn't go away, it just sits there, leaving you in agony. It sounds like you were in that painful place, and I for one feel for anyone that has to deal with it. I remember my mother telling me, of her four pregnancies, none of them were as bad as her toothaches, that is saying quite a lot.


----------



## komorikun

I was kind of pissed that I missed my bus to go to the supermarket and this other place that's sort of like a local version of Target. Didn't really need to go that badly since I went last week but wanted to see if they got the sterilite plastic drawer thing in stock this time. Was out of stock last week. Hard to buy online since most stores won't ship something bulky but cheap. Or they charge $30 for it online but at the store it's $12. Target has the smaller versions of this which they don't ship but Target was also out of stock.

http://sterilite.com/mobile.html?id=404&ProductCategory=186&section=1









https://www.target.com/p/sterilite-...lear-drawers-room-essentials-153/-/A-14779288

So I get to the stop and notice that there is once again some sort of construction thing going on. For a few months previously the stop was closed and was moved to the next block down. That time was because the house behind the stop was demolished and a new small apartment building was under construction. Of course, when you go on the bus company's website there is zero mention of the stop being out of service. Then the bus arrives early and it was too late for me to cross the intersection (light takes forever to change) to get to the temporary stop. They just put up some plastic cone thing to indicate that the temporary stop is there. So I stand there like a sitting duck hoping the bus will stop for me but it doesn't of course. Then some chubby hispanic guy on a bike stops to tell me that the stop has been moved. Guess he thought he was being helpful but if anything he made me even more irritated. *What's the point in telling me this after the bus has already gone by!??* :x

So being *****y, ungrateful me, I didn't tell him thank you for providing this information.


----------



## komorikun

Especially after taking a shower, putting on my makeup, getting dressed, etc. I did not want to go back home. Did not want to wait another 15 minutes for the next bus. I changed plans and decided to walk to the local booze store/Whole Foods. I needed to buy a Japanese sweet potato for the Japanese curry I plan on making for next week's work lunches. Very hard to find Japanese sweet potatoes at American supermarkets. Taste is quite different from plain old regular American sweet potatoes. I only go to the Asian supermarket once every 2-3 months, so. But Whole Foods (aka Whole Paycheck) has them!! Also needed to buy some booze for an upcoming event. At least I got my walk in also. Nice flat walk with no horrible hills. I hate hills.


----------



## Crisigv

Very sad


----------



## zonebox

komorikun said:


> I was kind of pissed that I missed my bus to go to the supermarket and this other place that's sort of like a local version of Target.


It has been a while, but my wife used to use the bus a lot to get places. I remember one particular time, she was on her way to a bus stop, at least a minute early and the bus driver saw her running to the stop, and kept on driving. That really upset me, at the time I was at work and couldn't give her a ride, she had to run to her job. That was pretty cold, I understand being a bus driver has got to suck, a lot, but it was still just mean. He made eye contact with her, apparently he was laughing and just kept going.

I know it is the principle of it all that is frustrating, and this is not likely to fix that, but I found the product on amazon for you if you are interested. It says pack of two, so you might actually benefit from it.

https://www.amazon.com/STERILITE-Or...&s=gateway&sprefix=sterlite+3+,aps,166&sr=8-8


----------



## TheFighterStillRemains

Shell-shocked but relieved and grateful that I can finally breathe and move on without fear.


----------



## komorikun

zonebox said:


> It has been a while, but my wife used to use the bus a lot to get places. I remember one particular time, she was on her way to a bus stop, at least a minute early and the bus driver saw her running to the stop, and kept on driving. That really upset me, at the time I was at work and couldn't give her a ride, she had to run to her job. That was pretty cold, I understand being a bus driver has got to suck, a lot, but it was still just mean. He made eye contact with her, apparently he was laughing and just kept going.
> 
> I know it is the principle of it all that is frustrating, and this is not likely to fix that, but I found the product on amazon for you if you are interested. It says pack of two, so you might actually benefit from it.
> 
> https://www.amazon.com/STERILITE-Or...&s=gateway&sprefix=sterlite+3+,aps,166&sr=8-8


Actually I'm looking for the bigger version of that but thanks. They come in many different sizes. Trying to replace these stupid plastic box things I've been using. Hard to find anything in the plastic boxes.

This one but should be less than $15 for one.

https://www.amazon.com/Sterilite-20...3&qid=1567919852&s=storageorganization&sr=1-1

I mean I don't expect bus drivers to wait for long for any one customer but waiting 5-10 seconds can't hurt. More than that would be asking too much since it inconveniences everyone already on the bus. Especially with subway trains during rush hour, they can't wait for anyone. Sometimes people will stand in the doorway keeping the doors from closing (there is some sort of sensor) to let their friends or sometimes strangers get on. But it's dumb to do that during rush hour since the trains come every 2-5 minutes and there is a never ending stream of people running for the train. More understandable late at night when the trains only come once every 20-30 minutes and there are way less passengers.

Bus drivers are weird and very temperamental. Some will wait for you and be very helpful when asking directions or whatever. While others seem like angry robots who can't even be bothered to say a single word.


----------



## komorikun

At least I got home 15-20 minutes before it started raining. And boy did it rain tonight.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Worried, over 600 lightning strikes. :O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Very sad


Awww. :hug


----------



## SplendidBob

Incident Friday night and ended up in casualty. Stuck there the entire next day surrounded by hospital staff who didn't give a ****.

Am in a really perilous place again right now. Feel pretty awful inner agitation as well, and I need to somehow calm down, but my mind wont let me.


----------



## SparklingWater

zonebox said:


> It is a pain that just lingers, not for minutes, hours, days, but weeks if not taken care of. There is no refuge from it either, it doesn't go away, it just sits there, leaving you in agony.


Omg yes. It's truly indescribable. I take a medication that interacts with ibuprofen so I can't take it and have been taking acetaminophen instead. Literally went to the ER worried I took too much (cause acetaminophen will absolutely cause liver damage/failure at a high dose.) But at the height of the pain- taking an extra pill vs enduring the pain wasn't even a close choice. Would do again ugh smh. I literally felt suicidal a few times the pain was so unbearable.

Anywho, ER prescribed a few days percocet, which obvs I'm not gonna touch, gtfo. My life is ****ed up enough without developing an opioid addiction lol. Just was gonna monitor the acetaminophen and stay on top of my dose every 4 hrs. But then this morn, like a miracle, the pain was just gone. Hopefully it won't return since I am taking care of what I need to. I had to get fillings the week before last and I have to get a root canal. Hopefully once that's all over I can go back to my happy little bubble to a world where toothaches don't exist and the worst pain I might encounter is a short lived menstrual cramp (practically a trip to the spa vs the toothache.)


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SplendidBob

Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely.


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Means you are highly intelligent. :yes


:boogie :high5


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Friends before food and energy to 120% when friends name is mentioned.






Yeah, laughing as is adorable.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> :boogie :high5


----------



## Graeme1988

Ah wish ah could just pack up n’ bugger off somewhere else for like 3 months. Just pack ma laptop, my guitars and some clothes n’ book into a hotel or travelogue somewhere up north, or Newcastle. Cuz it hardly seem fair that I rare get any peace n’ quiet these quiet these days. Mind you, ah feel like I’ve been living the same day o’er n’ o’er again for the last 3 years.  :bash

Music about the only thing keeping me going at this point, really.


----------



## love is like a dream

such an overwhelming depression


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Very tired already, but I have to stay awake just over 3 more hours to bid on an ebay auction. The price is already looking higher than the one yesterday was before the last hour so I'm hoping that doesn't mean it's going to escalate tons. I waited to bid because I didn't want to push it up, but it seems to be happening already.


----------



## blue2

E-bay, I never got into online auctions, but I worked for a man once who made a decent living out of auctions, buying & selling.


----------



## Excaliber

Good for the most part except for my allergies, everyone keeps asking if I have a cold and my nose is turning red.


----------



## PandaBearx

Emotionally vacant af. I went to bed at 8pm yesterday and got 13 hours of sleep b/c I was so emotionally shot.


----------



## CNikki

Tired as hell.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I dont think anyone could possibly want me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I dont think anyone could possibly want me.


In what way (context)?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> In what way (context)?


Relationship. I already put people off everywhere I go. Havent had real friends since I was 11, which is a very long time. Guys dont want me, getting weird looks, etc.

I'm just not in the best mood right now. I had an okay day overall but I'm just not feeling it right now.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Better now that I'm buzzed and eaten dinner.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Relationship. I already put people off everywhere I go.


:hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Havent had real friends since I was 11, which is a very long time.


Cough, cough, friend here. 

But I know what you mean, real life. :sigh



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Guys dont want me, getting weird looks, etc.


Do guys actually say that?

Or is it your perception from the way they look at you?

People can give weird looks due to what you are wearing, if out of place with what others wear around you.

Dress up in a way that blends in and those strange looks stop. Strange but true (found out from experience).



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm just not in the best mood right now. I had an okay day overall but I'm just not feeling it right now.


Awww. :hug

You know I'm going to have to cheer you up. :yes


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

I found this the other day and it reminded me of PurplePeopleEater.


* *









Go Purple go (on the left side).

Just look at Purples happy dancing and having fun. :yay


----------



## kesker

****t.


----------



## The Library of Emma

kesker said:


> ****t.


While I don't know what that is, it doesn't look very good...just to err on the side of caution... :squeeze


----------



## The Library of Emma

I feel peaceful, and while things aren’t particularly good, they’re so much better than they were once. In this moment I recognize that I’ve come far, and I’m grateful. I graciously accept my limitations, knowing that as of yet, I’m not where I want to be.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Really super depressed. Since it's 'today', I decided to go through some old email messages and became extremely depressed at the recollection of my life. I just keep going lower and lower - while others are growing and blossoming, I decay.

Ugh I'm so sad, I have to cook but I don't feel like cooking atm. 

I hate how I'm that character that can't be saved honestly, I'm just this amalgamation of garbage existing...


----------



## kesker

Phel said:


> While I don't know what that is, it doesn't look very good...just to err on the side of caution... :squeeze


Thank you. You're right, it wasn't too good. I really appreciate the hug. Here's one for you :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely, empty.


----------



## Graeme1988

Weird.


----------



## CNikki

Dismissed. I’m used to it but sometimes it can still hurt.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> I found this the other day and it reminded me of PurplePeopleEater.
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Go Purple go (on the left side).
> 
> Just look at Purples happy dancing and having fun. :yay


Lol That's funny but I'd be dancing to rock or alternative.

I'm really annoyed right now with a couple things. Had a good day until the end of work, ironically. Ran into a problem that one of the higher ups was telling me I needed to know and the woman training me didnt tell me I'd have to do it everyday. I got a bit flustered and didnt think to tell him that she didnt let me know this. Going to have to deal with that tomorrow.

Also, having a password issue with something and it wont confirm it for the life of me so I'm just going to put that off for another day. So today was a meh day.


----------



## Kevin001

Sick


----------



## AllGlad

Pretty meh... 4 more days of work to come...


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lol That's funny but I'd be dancing to rock or alternative.


The song was a strange one.

Mainly concentrating on you having fun dancing and being happy again.

Wanted Purple to be. :grin2: again.

Now why does that saying sound familar. :sus



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm really annoyed right now with a couple things. Had a good day until the end of work, ironically. Ran into a problem that one of the higher ups was telling me I needed to know and the woman training me didnt tell me I'd have to do it everyday. I got a bit flustered and didnt think to tell him that she didnt let me know this. Going to have to deal with that tomorrow.


You are allowed to make mistakes, as are human. Adjust quickly and should be ok.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Also, having a password issue with something and it wont confirm it for the life of me so I'm just going to put that off for another day. So today was a meh day.


:hug

You'll find the solution. 

You are Purple the amazing who leaps problems in a single bound. :O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Kevin001 said:


> Sick


Aww, mate.

Lots of vitamin C.


----------



## Kevin001

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Aww, mate.
> 
> Lots of vitamin C.


I've got tons in me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Kevin001 said:


> I've got tons in me.


Oh.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Alright. Just alright. A little annoyed at something going on with one of my volunteer positions due to government actions. Lol



CNikki said:


> Dismissed. I'm used to it but sometimes it can still hurt.


  :hug :squeeze


----------



## mrpaperheart

I'm going through intervals of being okay and not being okay. After going back and forth to the doctors/hospital last week, I'm so grateful to be back to living a normal life, but I also can't help but be reminded of my heartbreak. I wish I didn't miss her so much. I wish she was still mine. It's so hard to try to carry on as if nothing happened. I'm just going through the motions. They say that things get better in time. I can't wait to believe that.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> The song was a strange one.
> 
> Mainly concentrating on you having fun dancing and being happy again.
> 
> Wanted Purple to be. :grin2: again.
> 
> Now why does that saying sound familar. :sus
> 
> You are allowed to make mistakes, as are human. Adjust quickly and should be ok.
> 
> :hug
> 
> You'll find the solution.
> 
> You are Purple the amazing who leaps problems in a single bound. :O


:lol

I do need to go back to dancing again. I used to love dancing when I was a kid until I started being awkward. :haha

Maybe because of Purple? :b

Thanks. :O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> :lol


Quite a fancy with the announcer.

Something you are not telling us about changing your likes in music (joking)? :sus :b



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I do need to go back to dancing again. I used to love dancing when I was a kid until I started being awkward. :haha


Dust off those old clobbers. :yes



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Maybe because of Purple? :b


Great colour, isn't it?

Goes with most things?



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks. :O


You're welcome. :O


----------



## Crisigv

Full of anxiety and sadness. I just want to die.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

Awww. :hug

Try breathing in and out fully or go outside. See if that helps.


----------



## Kainanen

Last time I'm feeling good!


----------



## SplendidBob

Terrified, and on a knife edge. Seriously on the edge now.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SplendidBob

Aww, mate. 

Sorry to hear. 

If you don't mind me asking, what is the cause?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SplendidBob

I read your post mate.

I had similar life stress issues with uni, toxic environment when younger and breakīng away for a while (keeping away from the toxic envionment) helped a lot. I used to break down, cry infront of people due to the stress of uni, toxic environment.

But you have the added stress of a relationship breakup on top which would push anyone over the edge stress wise.

I'm thinking you learnt from this life experience is your stress limit.

Looking at your situation from an outside view, reducing stress is the no one priority.

Cut contact with ex, even online to recover. Out of sight, out of mind sort of thing. Easiér to deal with grief that way until in a position to handle it better.

Replace with something else that makes you happy, loved. Even cuddling an animal helps as get unconditional love. Could be a local cat you cuddle, pat. Or visit to a zoo or animal park.

I would suggest to keep away from home too. I noticed in video clips in the past you were happier that way. Do your uni work away from a stressful environment, people. Peace and quiet does wonders, especially after being in a toxic environment. For me my marks increased by 30 with just removing that stress and being able to concentrate.

Just lifestyle changes that obviously need to be done.

All I can do is suggest changes.

It is up to you to make the choices that are right for your situation, change things.


----------



## Graeme1988

Pissed off that ah cannae even huvin' a wee bit o' independence withoot ma mother taking issue with it. Or me huvin' tae justify ma f__kin' reasons for it. :bash Or is that just too much to ask for physically disabled person, eh? To not be relying upon others aw the time, to let them do summit that they're clearly mair than capable o' doing ?

_Naw, we cannae huv that, can we ?! Cuz that would mean yin person does'nae huv control over the other. Don't actually think that possible in a codependent relationship. But then, that might be ma problem... thinking ?

But ah cannae f__kin' win, either way. Since if ah say nowt, ah get f__kin' shamed for no speaking up. If ah do what ah want tae do, ah either huv justify it, or it'll cause an argument. Or ah get telt why ah should'nae bother. Which is a great confidence boost, innit? Ye spend most o' yer life being telt yer a useless, waste o' space, but the moment ye attempt to assert yersel' n' stand yer ground, yer a threat._


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Leper of society, usual


----------



## mrpaperheart

Feeling a little sick because of the new medication that I'm on. I'm hoping it subsides soon. other than that, I am doing okay emotionally. Better than I have been feeling lately.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, missing lost loved one.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Tired, missing lost loved one.


:squeeze

*Sent from SAS' dancing Banana Emoji using Tapatalk*


----------



## Graeme1988

Trapped in miserable situation. One which ah dinnae see anyway out of, really. Well, aside from killing myself. 

F__kin' arguments n' drama day in, day oot... and it's always me who has deal with the consequences. Me, who gets moan it. Me, who's wrong for sayin' ah cannae deal with it anymore. 

But, who cares, eh? _Oh, Graeme, just ignore it man. Pay nae attention to it. If only it were *that* easy._. Aye, cuz ma well-being means absolutely f__k all in the grand scheme o' things. 20 years o' dysfunctional bull$%!* and huvin' tae tolerate women who refusing to take responsibility for their ain words n' actions. _Aye, cuz women are never wrong, can do nae wrong and are f__kin' perfect, aren't they? Men: they're the problem, eh?_

No sayin' ah believe that pish, it's just that's the narrative ah got f__kin' bludgeoned with from ma mother and older siblings. And it's difficult to argue against when they flee off the handle at the slightest criticism.

Yet, am still suppose to fake a smile and pretend ah like 'em. Even though, I've never hide how ah feel about them. Just never said it out loud cuz they might never speak to me again. And ah doubt they'd want that... me actually being genuinely happy for once in ma life?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Fun Spirit said:


> :squeeze
> 
> *Sent from SAS' dancing Banana Emoji using Tapatalk*


Thank you kind Spirit. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> Trapped in miserable situation. One which ah dinnae see anyway out of, really. Well, aside from killing myself.
> 
> F__kin' arguments n' drama day in, day oot... and it's always me who has deal with the consequences. Me, who gets moan it. Me, who's wrong for sayin' ah cannae deal with it anymore.
> 
> But, who cares, eh? _Oh, Graeme, just ignore it man. Pay nae attention to it. If only it were *that* easy._. Aye, cuz ma well-being means absolutely f__k all in the grand scheme o' things. 20 years o' dysfunctional bull$%!* and huvin' tae tolerate women who refusing to take responsibility for their ain words n' actions. _Aye, cuz women are never wrong, can do nae wrong and are f__kin' perfect, aren't they? Men: they're the problem, eh?_
> 
> No sayin' ah believe that pish, it's just that's the narrative ah got f__kin' bludgeoned with from ma mother and older siblings. And it's difficult to argue against when they flee off the handle at the slightest criticism.
> 
> Yet, am still suppose to fake a smile and pretend ah like 'em. Even though, I've never hide how ah feel about them. Just never said it out loud cuz they might never speak to me again. And ah doubt they'd want that... me actually being genuinely happy for once in ma life?


You can't control others actions, but you can control your reaction to them.

Men talk crap like that too. Got to have a thick skin and don't react to it.

With SA it is hard to do due to getting emotional.


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You can't control others actions, but you can control your reaction to them.
> 
> Men talk crap like that too. Got to have a thick skin and don't react to it.
> 
> With SA it is hard to do due to getting emotional.


I know that... It's just difficult not to react when they're ones arguing and conducting themselves in a such childish, *****y, petty way. Then they turn round and start on me, shaming me for huvin' the nerve to open ma gob n' speak ma mind on the situation. Then they start crying :cry as if I should be the one who feels bad.

Plus, I've got naebuddy to turn to and vent to, myself. Not disagreeing with ye, Mono. Having a thin skin is all well n' good, but I'm having act and pretend like everything's normal after every argument. When ah really just want to pack up my stuff, f_ck off, and just cut all contact with them, like I did with my dad. I'm just fed up with feeling caught in the middle of it aw the time.

And I'm getting kinda bored with going to my guitar as outlet every time I feel pissed off, because I'm not really writing anything that particularly good.


----------



## kesker

Persephone The Dread said:


> Very tired already, but I have to stay awake just over 3 more hours to bid on an ebay auction. The price is already looking higher than the one yesterday was before the last hour so I'm hoping that doesn't mean it's going to escalate tons. I waited to bid because I didn't want to push it up, but it seems to be happening already.


Did u get it?


----------



## Persephone The Dread

kesker said:


> Did u get it?


I did but it ended up being several pounds more expensive than the previous auction, though still a bit cheaper than everywhere else.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> I know that... It's just difficult not to react when they're ones arguing and conducting themselves in a such childish, *****y, petty way. Then they turn round and start on me, shaming me for huvin' the nerve to open ma gob n' speak ma mind on the situation. Then they start crying :cry as if I should be the one who feels bad.


Like a child throwing a tantrum (to get attention), just ignore them. Usually they will ramp it up until you react. Ignoring them hurts the most to them, hence they ramp it up to take that hurt away. Sometimess have to be hard to be kind.

It comes from parents ignoring them and them throwing a tantrum to get attention. Usually can be traced back to that. Or parents go out socializing, and leave them alone a lot which I have seen with people with personality disorders.



Graeme1988 said:


> Plus, I've got naebuddy to turn to and vent to, myself.


You are doing that with me mate. 



Graeme1988 said:


> Not disagreeing with ye, Mono. Having a thin skin is all well n' good, but I'm having act and pretend like everything's normal after every argument.


You'll need to vent, but do so in a safe way. Go for a run, run it out of yourself as an example of a free way to do it. Get fit and feel better.



Graeme1988 said:


> When ah really just want to pack up my stuff, f_ck off, and just cut all contact with them, like I did with my dad. I'm just fed up with feeling caught in the middle of it aw the time.


Distancing oneself (getting out of the toxic environment) is the best for mental health reasons.



Graeme1988 said:


> And I'm getting kinda bored with going to my guitar as outlet every time I feel pissed off, because I'm not really writing anything that particularly good.


Find a new hobby that can do outside. Something towards bettering your life. Or exercise, etc to vent the emotions.


----------



## kesker

Persephone The Dread said:


> I did but it ended up being several pounds more expensive than the previous auction, though still a bit cheaper than everywhere else.


It's going to be a nice addition to your collection so I'm glad you got it.....whatever it is.  And, I don't know where I've been that I'd never heard of this Zizek character but THANK YOU.


----------



## EndTimes

Completely stoned :flush


----------



## Persephone The Dread

kesker said:


> It's going to be a nice addition to your collection so I'm glad you got it.....whatever it is.  And, I don't know where I've been that I'd never heard of this Zizek character but THANK YOU.


Oh it's an ssd for my new computer build lol (not a collection thing.) I wanted to see if I could get it a bit cheaper and some people were selling them on ebay.

Zizek is mostly known for political work, but that clip is pretty funny to me so I stuck it in my signature. I think it's from this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pervert's_Guide_to_Cinema


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Like a child throwing a tantrum (to get attention), just ignore them. Usually they will ramp it up until you react. Ignoring them hurts the most to them, hence they ramp it up to take that hurt away. Sometimess have to be hard to be kind.


_Oh, aye !_ Shouting, swearing. slamming doors. Breaking down in tears, the lot. Over the top soap opera style stuff. Funny in respect, but absolutely f__kin' devastating in the moment. But it's just been same ol' predictable _"shame n' blame"_ narcissistic victim mentality for the past 15 or so years. I've just gave trying to make them understand what it's been like for me living with them.

So I tend to get quite, cruel I guess you could say, and react with utter indifference and sarcasm whenever they do this. Like saying: _"Would you, that'd be great!"_ whenever I'm told to eff off. Yet, weirdly, when I point out that these arguments wouldn't happen if they did act a certain way, they never seem to huv a reasonable response; other than the aforementioned: _"F__k off !"_ Nor, do they apologise for how they've acted. Or will they actually give me an explanation whenever they tell me I'm wrong.



Mondo_Fernando said:


> It comes from parents ignoring them and them throwing a tantrum to get attention. Usually can be traced back to that. Or parents go out socializing, and leave them alone a lot which I have seen with people with personality disorders.


Quite odd how I turn out be the introverted yin o' my family, then. Since I was, and still am, the one who gets ignored by my mother. Yet I've not turned out like my siblings in terms sharing similar personality traits.



Mondo_Fernando said:


> You are doing that with me mate.


That's true. :lol



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Distancing oneself (getting out of the toxic environment) is the best for mental health reasons.


I've tried that, but my local house department never got back to me about whether or not there were any other house up for rent in my area. Even though I applied and got placed high on their waiting list because I supplied copies of my medical history and what fiancial assistance I get due to my disability along with my housing application. Plus, I got fed up phoning up and emailing them, and getting pretty much the same answer to my questions every time.

Anyway, the closest ah got to distancing myself for my current toxic situation was when my older sister was living over in Ireland with her husband, and my mother went over to visit for 2 weeks after my nieces were born. I had the house to myself then. Except for the few days when my oldest sister would come round and see how I was doing. Even she noticed I was a lot happier during that time. Because our mother was there, constantly bossing me about, or complaining about anything and everything.



Mondo_Fernando said:


> You'll need to vent, but do so in a safe way. Go for a run, run it out of yourself as an example of a free way to do it. Get fit and feel better. Find a new hobby that can do outside. Something towards bettering your life. Or exercise, etc to vent the emotions.


I guess ah could renew my gym membership and start going there again. I have, admittedly, stop taking proper care of myself within the last year or two.


----------



## Graeme1988

I know I shouldn’t really complain about this, but I wish I had someone to rely upon when ah ask for help, y’know? Someone who’d help me out whenever I asked. Instead of someone who only helps me if it makes them come across a certain way.


----------



## SparklingWater

* *




Excited for vocal lesson Friday. Also excited to try out some things I learned in therapy. Ya know, as **** as this job is, there's nothing more exhilarating for me atm than seeing money hit my account every 2 weeks. Love seeing my savings replenish itself. Love being able to spend money on things that matter to me such as an expert in trauma or vocal lessons with a singer with yrs of broadway experience. Money is freedom in this society and I appreciate how much freer I am these days. And I don't even get paid well. Cannot wait to actually bring in good money as I progress along my career path. 'It's never too late to become the person you've always wanted.' I know it's trite and glib and utterly untrue for some, but it's the only thing that's kept me moving forward whereas I know many who've thrown in the towel yrs ago. As hard as this life has been, I'm glad to continue on and finally start seeing some rewards for the work I put in.


----------



## donistired

I feel very uneasy, but it's looking like I might have some good news soon. Also, why I'm uneasy.


----------



## zonebox

SparklingWater said:


> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm glad to continue on and finally start seeing some rewards for the work I put in.


I'm always happy when I see others here doing better, congrats on the job and the vocal lessons


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bad.


----------



## Crisigv

Like a bad person


----------



## Lyssia

Crisigv said:


> Like a bad person


Why?


----------



## SofaKing

Despite all the things that others would count as blessings that I have or experienced, it feels like the energies of the universe simply don't want me to exist.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> _Oh, aye !_ Shouting, swearing. slamming doors. Breaking down in tears, the lot. Over the top soap opera style stuff. Funny in respect, but absolutely f__kin' devastating in the moment. But it's just been same ol' predictable _"shame n' blame"_ narcissistic victim mentality for the past 15 or so years. I've just gave trying to make them understand what it's been like for me living with them.


Sorry to hear. 



Graeme1988 said:


> So I tend to get quite, cruel I guess you could say, and react with utter indifference and sarcasm whenever they do this. Like saying: _"Would you, that'd be great!"_ whenever I'm told to eff off. Yet, weirdly, when I point out that these arguments wouldn't happen if they did act a certain way, they never seem to huv a reasonable response; other than the aforementioned: _"F__k off !"_ Nor, do they apologise for how they've acted. Or will they actually give me an explanation whenever they tell me I'm wrong.




Probably can't say what is wrong, because they are projecting their problems onto others.



Graeme1988 said:


> Quite odd how I turn out be the introverted yin o' my family, then. Since I was, and still am, the one who gets ignored by my mother. Yet I've not turned out like my siblings in terms sharing similar personality traits.


There is sometimes the odd one out in a family which is fairly normal. Genetics and all.



Graeme1988 said:


> That's true. :lol


:O  :b



Graeme1988 said:


> I've tried that, but my local house department never got back to me about whether or not there were any other house up for rent in my area. Even though I applied and got placed high on their waiting list because I supplied copies of my medical history and what fiancial assistance I get due to my disability along with my housing application. Plus, I got fed up phoning up and emailing them, and getting pretty much the same answer to my questions every time.


What about local apartment buildings (if have any there)?



Graeme1988 said:


> Anyway, the closest ah got to distancing myself for my current toxic situation was when my older sister was living over in Ireland with her husband, and my mother went over to visit for 2 weeks after my nieces were born. I had the house to myself then. Except for the few days when my oldest sister would come round and see how I was doing. Even she noticed I was a lot happier during that time. Because our mother was there, constantly bossing me about, or complaining about anything and everything.


What I mean is not go home until have to sleep, eat dinner sort of thing. Have somewhere to be everyday, even if volunteer. Something working towards the future.

On some days could go to a bar, get a drink (non alcoholic), watch TV there. Some pubs have TV's these days to watch footy, etc.



Graeme1988 said:


> I guess ah could renew my gym membership and start going there again. I have, admittedly, stop taking proper care of myself within the last year or two.


Sounds like a good option with going to the gym.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Like a bad person


Nope.



SofaKing said:


> Despite all the things that others would count as blessings that I have or experienced, it feels like the energies of the universe simply don't want me to exist.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SofaKing said:


> Despite all the things that others would count as blessings that I have or experienced, it feels like the energies of the universe simply don't want me to exist.


 :rub


----------



## soylatte

Not too bad, I wish I had some friends to go on a hike with though.


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sorry to hear.
> 
> 
> 
> Probably can't say what is wrong, because they are projecting their problems onto others.


Oh, ah know ! I've had plenty of their problems projected onto me over the years.



Mondo_Fernando said:


> There is sometimes the odd one out in a family which is fairly normal. Genetics and all.


I'll take that as a compliment. :lol



Mondo_Fernando said:


> What about local apartment buildings (if have any there)?


There are some in the centre of town, not fair from my house; all of them have been taken, unfortunately. Don't know if there any vacant apartments else in the region where I live. Also, they'd need to be accessible and accommodating to my disability.



Mondo_Fernando said:


> What I mean is not go home until have to sleep, eat dinner sort of thing. Have somewhere to be everyday, even if volunteer. Something working towards the future.


Might be a hard yin to negotiate with my mother... Me saying: _"Am away ! See ye at 4 o'clock !"_.

Domineering folk aren't exactly open to the idea of compromise; at least from what I've found anyway.



Mondo_Fernando said:


> On some days could go to a bar, get a drink (non alcoholic), watch TV there. Some pubs have TV's these days to watch footy, etc. Sounds like a good option with going to the gym.


The gym might be the better option to be honest. Since the last time ah deciding to leave the house just to go for a coffee caused a massive row. Then, earlier this year, upon seeing me planning for my weekend away to Edinburgh for a few days over the summer - something I'd done regularly since 2014 - my mother sighs and goes:

_"Aw, no again ! Ah hate being left oan ma ain !"_

This led to the same argument we've been huvin for the past 15 years, regarding how my sisters can get on with their lives and do as they'd like - no challenges made or questions asked - but I'm not allowed to. Even though, every time I've planned my weekend trip to Edinburgh, I've always said my Mum was welcome to come with me but she refused every time. And she made such a fuss about it, that ah just stayed home this year. Though. not by choice.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> Oh, ah know ! I've had plenty of their problems projected onto me over the years.






Graeme1988 said:


> I'll take that as a compliment. :lol






Graeme1988 said:


> There are some in the centre of town, not fair from my house; all of them have been taken, unfortunately. Don't know if there any vacant apartments else in the region where I live. Also, they'd need to be accessible and accommodating to my disability.


Oh. 



Graeme1988 said:


> Might be a hard yin to negotiate with my mother... Me saying: _"Am away ! See ye at 4 o'clock !"_.
> 
> Domineering folk aren't exactly open to the idea of compromise; at least from what I've found anyway.


Sounds clingy.



Graeme1988 said:


> The gym might be the better option to be honest. Since the last time ah deciding to leave the house just to go for a coffee caused a massive row. Then, earlier this year, upon seeing me planning for my weekend away to Edinburgh for a few days over the summer - something I'd done regularly since 2014 - my mother sighs and goes:
> 
> _"Aw, no again ! Ah hate being left oan ma ain !"_
> 
> This led to the same argument we've been huvin for the past 15 years, regarding how my sisters can get on with their lives and do as they'd like - no challenges made or questions asked - but I'm not allowed to. Even though, every time I've planned my weekend trip to Edinburgh, I've always said my Mum was welcome to come with me but she refused every time. And she made such a fuss about it, that ah just stayed home this year. Though. not by choice.


Might be the better option.

Sounds like issues with men.

Maybe you remind her of your dad and she doesn't want to be left alone again?


----------



## SparklingWater

Tired and excited. And annoyed. Only animals don't sweep before they mop. Gross.


----------



## Fun Spirit

A little discourage. I made a video thread but nobody have replied back. I thought it was a good idea. What is the point in having an idea which it include people when nobody don't want to make an effort? I might as well just take the solo route. I believe what it is showing is that people here are either too anxious to do a video {obviously} or just seeming an unpopular member post a something like that of the thread that I created won't generate enough people to participate in it. I hoped to have helped someome while also helping myself but it showed other than. I think I will try to come up with another idea. A part of me still have that small amount of hope.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Fun Spirit

Just some use photo's, etc from here.

In addition, shy people don't want to show themselves off.

Some might not even know how to do it, as don't have a camera.

Basically many reasons why.

In addition, there is a thread like yours already in that area of the forum.

Nothing to do with you or the thread. :hug


----------



## harrison

Fun Spirit said:


> A little discourage. I made a video thread but nobody have replied back. I thought it was a good idea. What is the point in having an idea which it include people when nobody don't want to make an effort? I might as well just take the solo route. I believe what it is showing is that people here are either too anxious to do a video {obviously} or just seeming an unpopular member post a something like that of the thread that I created won't generate enough people to participate in it. I hoped to have helped someome while also helping myself but it showed other than. I think I will try to come up with another idea. A part of me still have that small amount of hope.


Definitely nothing to worry about. I'd say it's most likely because 1. Most people would find it hard to do (makes them embarassed and uncomfortable - I hate being on camera), and 2. They haven't seen the thread because it's in the photo section.

I hardly ever look in that section - I just sort of look at General Discussion and then wander around a few of the other areas. It's also very quiet here in general now.

I really enjoyed your video though - and I love your accent.


----------



## Fun Spirit

harrison said:


> Definitely nothing to worry about. I'd say it's most likely because 1. Most people would find it hard to do (makes them embarassed and uncomfortable - I hate being on camera), and 2. They haven't seen the thread because it's in the photo section.
> 
> I hardly ever look in that section - I just sort of look at General Discussion and then wander around a few of the other areas. It's also very quiet here in general now.
> 
> I really enjoyed your video though - and I love your accent.


Thanks Harrison: )
I will try not to worry about it. 
I figure it would be that.

You hate being on camera? Aw. Yeah me too. LMAO:rofl

Good point:teeth

Yeah a lot of people are mostly on the General Section. And the Cope with Social Anxiety section. It is quite

Thank You Harrison
I tried :teeth
:squeeze 
I still find it hard to believe that my accent is likeable I wouldn't know these things. I'm American. LOL:rofl


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Fun Spirit said:


> A little discourage. I made a video thread but nobody have replied back. I thought it was a good idea. What is the point in having an idea which it include people when nobody don't want to make an effort? I might as well just take the solo route. I believe what it is showing is that people here are either too anxious to do a video {obviously} or just seeming an unpopular member post a something like that of the thread that I created won't generate enough people to participate in it. I hoped to have helped someome while also helping myself but it showed other than. I think I will try to come up with another idea. A part of me still have that small amount of hope.


I used to post videos on here like back in 2013 but I didnt really like doing them and quit. They make me anxious cause of the major awkwardness. :grin2: I'm super camera shy. Haha.

So its definitely an anxiety thing and also the fact that less people post videos than they used to maybe. If it's up long enough, I'm sure someone will post in it.


----------



## zonebox

I have a big mug filled with pepsi and rum, I popped my ear buds in and am listening to some industrial, and I'm about to launch a game.. I'm feeling pretty good right now.


----------



## kesker

zonebox said:


> I have a big mug filled with pepsi and rum, I popped my ear buds in and am listening to some industrial, and I'm about to launch a game.. I'm feeling pretty good right now.


----------



## zonebox

kesker said:


>


They look like they know how to have a good time


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Content. Lets hope this lasts.


----------



## SpartanSaber

Numb.


----------



## CNikki

Sore. Been on my feet for nearly if not ten hours today.

This week has generally been a trip. All I will say.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Reading between the lines.. as always


----------



## riverbird

Hurt. This year keeps getting worse. Is it almost over yet?


----------



## Fun Spirit

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I used to post videos on here like back in 2013 but I didnt really like doing them and quit. They make me anxious cause of the major awkwardness. :grin2: I'm super camera shy. Haha.
> 
> So its definitely an anxiety thing and also the fact that less people post videos than they used to maybe. If it's up long enough, I'm sure someone will post in it.


Aw 
I'm sorry it was like that for you It cab be awkwardness:teeth If only I was around back then to see it. I hope one day you could jump in 

Yeah it would seem that way.

Someone did;D I was so happy:cry

Thank You for the realization.

*Sent from Homer Simpson's Beer Bottle using Tapatalk*


----------



## Kevin001

Better but still can't wait to be 100% .


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Fun Spirit said:


> Aw
> I'm sorry it was like that for you It cab be awkwardness:teeth If only I was around back then to see it. I hope one day you could jump in
> 
> Yeah it would seem that way.
> 
> Someone did;D I was so happy:cry
> 
> Thank You for the realization.
> 
> *Sent from Homer Simpson's Beer Bottle using Tapatalk*


Not sure if my phone would be the best way to do it but I might try one day. Yea, videos and SA dont mix too well I suppose. :lol

Well, that's cool. I figured someone would post on it after awhile.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

D.B.L plus slightly horny.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Still miss her. Miss what was once the best times of my life, and upset at how I was robbed of an extremely rare, good thing, by things out of my control. 

Wish I'd never mentioned anything that happened here as well, but it affected me so much and I had no one at all apart from immediate family, and needed to vent. I was back at square one again, in the same state I'd always been, without no one at all, but them.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Empty, alone.

Not in a good place right now emotionally wise.


----------



## SofaKing

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Empty, alone.
> 
> Not in a good place right now emotionally wise.


You'll pull through, mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SofaKing said:


> You'll pull through, mate.


Thanks mate.

I think I'm going through the normal depression after loss. 

Most say it takes time.


----------



## Graeme1988

I'm getting fed up with having to listen to my older sister telling our mother how _we_ (me, our mother and oldest sister) do nothing for her or her kids. Yet, every time she comes round to visit , the kids misbehave and she just f__kin' sit there, in the living room, transfixed by her f__kin' smartphone and social media. :bash

Meanwhile, the kids are pestering me cuz am the yin who'll pretend to take any interest in whatever they're telling, and my mother's does'nae get a rest either. She's ironing the kids clothes that my sister can't be arsed doing herself, or she's making everyone in the house their dinner. And I'm the only one who offer to help out.

_But aye, we dae sweet f__k all, allegedly!_ :mum


----------



## Crisigv

crappy and feel like a burden


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> crappy and feel like a burden


As long as giving something back to make their life a little bit easier.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Empty.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> Still miss her. Miss what was once the best times of my life, and upset at how I was robbed of an extremely rare, good thing, by things out of my control.
> 
> Wish I'd never mentioned anything that happened here as well, but it affected me so much and I had no one at all apart from immediate family, and needed to vent. I was back at square one again, in the same state I'd always been, without no one at all, but them.


 :rub



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Empty, alone.
> 
> Not in a good place right now emotionally wise.


 :rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :rub
> 
> :rub


Thanks mate for being so kind.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Empty.


Aww. Poor sammy.  :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Like this.


* *









:crying:


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Sick of being single, unemployed and dependent on others. Never knew what to do about any of this. Can't cope on my own and can't find what I want and need from life. 

If it wasn't for the help I get, living in my head and the odd break from the constant repetition, I'd have constant, severe agitated depression and anxiety and end up dead.


----------



## scooby

Really nervous over what I'm about to go do. But I'm super excited.


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless garbage


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Worthless garbage


Nope. :hug


----------



## SparklingWater

So coooooold!!!!


----------



## Deaf Mute

I need a reset ><


----------



## Ventura

Trying to cope :heart:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Scattered Pieces said:


> Trying to cope :heart:


Aww. :hug


----------



## 0589471

Scattered Pieces said:


> Trying to cope :heart:


:squeeze :heart


----------



## twitchy666

which style of groping?


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## unemployment simulator

sad but hopeful.
so last psychiatrist appointment yesterday, kinda sad that I can't go anymore as it is nice to talk to someone when you have no one in your life, I would always look forward to each appointment. he summed up what I had been turning over in my mind for a while, that I am supportive for other people but when I need support myself those people are never there and that a proper support network needs to be established and he recommended some local groups to go to in my home town. so I am gonna concentrate my efforts on doing this, he says that it's important that I get support, living completely totally unsupported your whole life is not good!


----------



## Chris S W

Psychologically pained.


----------



## harrison

Slightly stressed out. This situation with my boy's becoming a problem. He needs to change his flight so there'll be a minimum of driving involved. My wife'll have a nervous breakdown about it otherwise.

Mind you she's not too good on planes either - I remember sitting on a flight with her one time and she told the stewardess to get her a glass of wine which she drank straight down in one go - and she doesn't even drink.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison

Does the Airport shuttle go the way he needs to go?

We have one from the city to airport. Some shuttles to hotels too for tourist's.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @harrison
> 
> Does the Airport shuttle go the way he needs to go?
> 
> We have one from the city to airport. Some shuttles to hotels too for tourist's.


Don't think so mate - he's made a mistake and booked a flight to the next town so he's going to rent a car and drive back down to where his friend is. It's a 4 hour drive apparently. Would be a lot easier to just change his flight - but he's a pretty stubborn kid.

I wish he was just going to bloody Dubai or something again - would be a lot easier.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Don't think so mate - he's made a mistake and booked a flight to the next town so he's going to rent a car and drive back down to where his friend is. It's a 4 hour drive apparently. Would be a lot easier to just change his flight - but he's a pretty stubborn kid.
> 
> I wish he was just going to bloody Dubai or something again - would be a lot easier.


Maybe it is a cost reason?

There are smaller like shuttles to homes (van, trailer behind), but they probably don't travel 4 hours away from the Airport.

The shuttles I was mentioning for tourist's, etc are the size of a small bus.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Maybe it is a cost reason?
> 
> There are smaller like shuttles to homes (van, trailer behind), but they probably don't travel 4 hours away from the Airport.
> 
> The shuttles I was mentioning for tourist's, etc are the size of a small bus.


Part of it might be cost - he's very careful with his money, keeps buying shares I think lately. I said he needs to keep some in cash as well.

My wife said she'll pay for him - she couldn't care less how much it costs, but I'm not sure he'll go along with it. It's becoming a bit of an issue with him and his mother now too - a pride thing probably. He's young.

Better just to not say anything and she wouldn't have known. It's terrible when she finds out about what's really happening, as I know all too well. :roll


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Part of it might be cost - he's very careful with his money, keeps buying shares I think lately. I said he needs to keep some in cash as well.


:yes



harrison said:


> My wife said she'll pay for him - she couldn't care less how much it costs, but I'm not sure he'll go along with it. It's becoming a bit of an issue with him and his mother now too - a pride thing probably. He's young.


Sounds like she is still being a parent and he wants to be independent.



harrison said:


> Better just to not say anything and she wouldn't have known. It's terrible when she finds out about what's really happening, as I know all too well. :roll


----------



## soylatte

Feeling really sad


----------



## Crisigv

Horrible. Why can't my life end?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

soylatte said:


> Feeling really sad


Awww.  :hug :squeeze


----------



## SparklingWater

Tired. Tired. Tired. Bit worried. Sad. Annoyed. Amused lol. But mostly just tired.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Horrible. Why can't my life end?


:hug



SparklingWater said:


> Tired. Tired. Tired. Bit worried. Sad. Annoyed. Amused lol. But mostly just tired.


:hug


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & irritated


----------



## SofaKing

Eviscerated. In a few words, my entire existence was marginalized.


----------



## Crisigv

Heartbroken


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Canadian Brotha said:


> Tired & irritated


 Damn bro.  :rub



SofaKing said:


> Eviscerated. In a few words, my entire existence was marginalized.


Sorry man.  :rub


----------



## funnynihilist

Laying in bed listening to King Crimson. Sweating and hot even though it's only 54 degrees outside. Was tired before now I'm wide awake.


----------



## 0589471

soylatte said:


> Feeling really sad


:squeeze hope things get better soon


----------



## SplendidBob

Lonely. It's savage. Hate it. Wish I was an introvert.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel horrendous. Slept maybe an hour. Have major bags under my eyes. Have some sharp pains that don't want to go away. My heart hurts and I wish I didn't wake up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SplendidBob said:


> Lonely. It's savage. Hate it. Wish I was an introvert.


Sorry to hear mate. 



Crisigv said:


> I feel horrendous. Slept maybe an hour. Have major bags under my eyes. Have some sharp pains that don't want to go away. My heart hurts and I wish I didn't wake up.


Aww. :hug

Try distracting yourself with some music not related to the subject's that are hurting you emotionally.

When trying to sleep, do the same but with thoughts.

Basically you are what you think you are.


----------



## Mxx1

So lonely. Phone addiction doesn't help i need to quit rereading our conversations all the time, it does nothing, but add to the sadness.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Mxx1

:hug


----------



## Mxx1

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @Mxx1
> 
> :hug


:heart


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Mxx1 said:


> :heart


You're welcome.


----------



## funnynihilist

Sort of needless adrenaliney


----------



## BeautyandRage

Sad


----------



## Graeme1988

Honestly, I just want my life to end. I’m just burden to those around me, anyway. 

I wish ah could just live a mair peaceful life n’ be happy. Instead constantly having to pretend that I’m happy.

Having put up with all the drama and petty bull$h!%, it get tiresome after a while.


----------



## harrison

I woke up feeling great - not too good just really good. Beautiful sunshine streaming in my window, had a good sleep. Then slowly it starts to change. My wife always says I get manic in the spring and I think she must be right - I can never remember. But I think it's the spring when I would fly off on some crazy trip. Jesus Christ what a feeling.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

SplendidBob said:


> Lonely. It's savage. Hate it. Wish I was an introvert.


Well, being an introvert doesn't prevent loneliness. But yeah, it's a crushing feeling in any case, sorry you're dealing with it too.


----------



## Crisigv

Like a horrible person. But my feelings don't matter.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Crisigv said:


> Like a horrible person. But my feelings don't matter.


 Why do you feel like a horrible person?


----------



## DeliveryDude

Bored. Nothing to do


----------



## Crisigv

WillYouStopDave said:


> Why do you feel like a horrible person?


I ruin lives


----------



## theperfectdrug

bit better, finally got a job. gonna have to remember this site is full of toxicity. been here 3 days and already read a bunch of it


----------



## SparklingWater

Happy. Hopeful. Teensy bit annoyed lol.


----------



## The Library of Emma

Brief regret and sorrow; stitch up and continue. The show goes on.


----------



## harrison

Like I've been hit by a truck and very strange in the head, thanks to this mornings little mixed episode.


----------



## harrison

theperfectdrug said:


> bit better, finally got a job. gonna have to remember *this site is full of toxicity*. been here 3 days and already read a bunch of it


Have to be selective - and use ignore feature.


----------



## BeautyandRage

Apathetic.
I feel nothing


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sleepy. Need to try and log off.


----------



## funnynihilist

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sleepy. Need to try and log off.


Log off and go saw some logs


----------



## scooby

Disappointed. Let down.



Also itchy. Got a tattoo a couple days ago (not related to the disappointed feeling) and the itch is starting. It'll get bad real soon.


----------



## Crisigv

My feelings are irrelevant. They have never been taken seriously, and while it hurts, it doesn't matter.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> My feelings are irrelevant. They have never been taken seriously, and while it hurts, it doesn't matter.


Awww. :hug



Vip3r said:


> I have reach out to the few people that talk to me with no response. I am just sitting here alone and crying.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Terrible stomach ache due to stress and anxiety.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Surprised that someone working at the store was from my HS and recognized me. At first, he seemed like he was trying to remember then he said my name so I just talked to him a little bit then walked off. Never thought anyone from HS would remember me nor would I have ever thought I'd talk to any of them ever again. It actually wasnt that awkward but guess that's cause he was being friendly.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Like absolute sh-t. My laptop is breaking down and my period came.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Small world (chance of bumping into them again). :yes

@leaf in the wind

:hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando I was more surprised he noticed me. :O Never talked to him in HS but I remember him.


----------



## riverbird

Disappointed. I really need to learn to stop letting my hopes get up about anything... would be so much easier.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando I was more surprised he noticed me. :O Never talked to him in HS but I remember him.


Maybe you made an impression. :O


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sleepy. Better hit the sack and be rested up for my shift tomorrow afternoon as usual.



leaf in the wind said:


> Like absolute sh-t. My laptop is breaking down and my period came.


Aww.  :hug


riverbird said:


> Disappointed. I really need to learn to stop letting my hopes get up about anything... would be so much easier.


Aww.  :hug :squeeze


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Honestly, I just want my life to end. I'm just burden to those around me, anyway.
> 
> I wish ah could just live a mair peaceful life n' be happy. Instead constantly having to pretend that I'm happy.
> 
> Having put up with all the drama and petty bull$h!%, it get tiresome after a while.


:hug


----------



## funnynihilist

Didn't sleep great. Never do anymore.


----------



## blue2




----------



## 8888

Optimistic


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Maybe you made an impression. :O


Who knows? He was probably just being friendly, too. Even then, I felt like it gave me a chance to redeem myself since I was pretty much a mute in HS. :O He smiled when I told him I'm a seafood manager but then again, that was probably just friendliness.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Who knows? He was probably just being friendly, too. Even then, I felt like it gave me a chance to redeem myself since I was pretty much a mute in HS. :O


It is cool talking to people that used to know. Met a few like that at random places.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> He smiled when I told him I'm a seafood manager but then again, that was probably just friendliness.


Probably thought you are doing well for yourself. :yes


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> :hug


Thanks lily. Things have just been hard for me lately.  I suppose I'm longing for my old day to day routine, when things weren't so mundane and repetitive.


----------



## zonebox

Holy sweet hell smeared on a buttered biscuit, it is Friday. I love Fridays, I get to sleep in for two days, plus I can kick back, drink some rum and cola, listen to some music and play video games.


----------



## CWe

Like a disappointment


----------



## harrison

I love waking up like this when it's nice and warm outside. Always good for the mood. Makes me want to be somewhere more exotic though.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Bad. Drunk. Ow.


----------



## funnynihilist

Bloated and crampy


----------



## blue2

Meow & woof = Moo : /


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I love waking up like this when it's nice and warm outside. Always good for the mood. Makes me want to be somewhere more exotic though.


Supposedly they have new laws in Bali in regards to sleeping with someone out of marriage.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Supposedly they have new laws in Bali in regards to sleeping with someone out of marriage.


Haha - yeah I saw that on the news mate. Don't think they'll be trying to enforce that too much - all the tourists would leave.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Haha - yeah I saw that on the news mate. Don't think they'll be trying to enforce that too much - all the tourists would leave.


Lots of jokes on how the Police are going to enforce it.

Whät if a husband or wife takes their rings of when having an affair.

Awkward situation to explain.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> It is cool talking to people that used to know. Met a few like that at random places.
> 
> Probably thought you are doing well for yourself. :yes


It is. This is the first time it's happened with me and I've been out of HS since May 2011. Literally not one person from my HS talked to me since I left or talked to me in HS hardly at all. So it's been a little over 8 years since I've been in HS. It's weird, though cause we never talked but at least it gave me a chance to meet someone that I never officially met in HS. So weird but yea. Pretty cool nonetheless. :lol


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Lots of jokes on how the Police are going to enforce it.
> 
> Whät if a husband or wife takes their rings of when having an affair.
> 
> Awkward situation to explain.


Yeah, Bali's very different to the rest of Indonesia - event the Indonesians come there to party. The police turn a blind eye to a lot of things. It's a funny place, hard to explain.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> It is. This is the first time it's happened with me and I've been out of HS since May 2011. Literally not one person from my HS talked to me since I left or talked to me in HS hardly at all. So it's been a little over 8 years since I've been in HS. It's weird, though cause we never talked but at least it gave me a chance to meet someone that I never officially met in HS. So weird but yea. Pretty cool nonetheless. :lol


There is always the who's hanging with who at schools.

Outside of school, don't have that peer pressure to hang out with just one group of people.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yeah, Bali's very different to the rest of Indonesia - event the Indonesians come there to party. The police turn a blind eye to a lot of things. It's a funny place, hard to explain.


Sounds interesting.

In addition, sounds much like some places in the world where they just pay a fine and go back ät it. :O


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sounds interesting.
> 
> In addition, sounds much like some places in the world where they* just pay a fine* and go back ät it. :O


Sometimes.

Also, they've gotta catch you first.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Sometimes.
> 
> Also, they've gotta catch you first.


Sounds like they are secret sauce Ninja's that disappear in a blink of the eyes. :O


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Thanks lily. Things have just been hard for me lately.  I suppose I'm longing for my old day to day routine, when things weren't so mundane and repetitive.


I see.. I'm sorry to hear that. Good luck to you and you're welcome.


----------



## BeautyandRage

Lonely


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

BeautyandRage said:


> Lonely


:yes

Feeling like that too.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> There is always the who's hanging with who at schools.
> 
> Outside of school, don't have that peer pressure to hang out with just one group of people.


It would be cool to meet again. Never thought I'd feel so amazed at meeting someone from my HS like it's this foreign thing. :lol The fact that I've been talking more has helped with not making it an awkward encounter, too.


----------



## Crisigv

i feel so horrible


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

BeautyandRage said:


> Lonely


 :hug


Mondo_Fernando said:


> Feeling like that too.


 :rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> It would be cool to meet again.


:yes



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Never thought I'd feel so amazed at meeting someone from my HS like it's this foreign thing. :lol The fact that I've been talking more has helped with not making it an awkward encounter, too.


Get lots of practice with a kind, friendly person. :yes



Crisigv said:


> i feel so horrible


Aww. :hug



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug
> :rub


Thanks mate.


----------



## Corina Ioana

Fat and big and huge


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Thanks mate.


No problem.


----------



## SplendidBob

So utterly alone.

So desperate for any kind of social contact and friendship I have to rely on scraps of friendship from people who I know are basically toxic and will gossip about anything I tell them to everyone else.

I can't stand begging for scraps of social contact, but I don't have any choice as I am at the bottom of the rung in any kind of social hierarchy.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SplendidBob

Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## Citrine79

Cranky and miserable. Fed up with everyone and everything.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Graeme1988

_Oh, am doing grand !_ Nearly lost it with my oldest sister today when she, rather condescendingly told me: _"Look efter Mum, awrite?"_ I just went: _"Aye, ah know..."_, not wanting to start anything. Cuz my first response would've been: _"Whit tha f__k d'ye think ah've been daein fur the last 16 years?! Eh?!"_

Because, as per feckin' usual: the middle child kicked off and started an argument with our mother, and by extension the rest o' us this morning. Nowt new, just the usual: _"Ya dae nuthin' fur me"_. Same exact story from 2 years ago, when it all went to $h!%* and she was left raising her kids. Or, the last 19 years by all my recollections. But she apparently been living in an alternate reality since the summer of 2017 where we just left her to fend for herself.

Why is it always me who get burdened with having to deal with the f__kin' consequences every-f__kin'-time! :bash


----------



## funnynihilist

Got a car and the weather is beautiful but I have nowhere to go and don't feel like doing something alone.


----------



## komorikun

Living on coffee and Oreos.


----------



## harrison

Tired. But glad I came back to my place to sleep. A very busy day yesterday with my family - and a long talk with my wife and son. Very tiring but very important.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Really out of it and have done for the last couple of days, really annoying.


----------



## harrison

SplendidBob said:


> So utterly alone.
> 
> So desperate for any kind of social contact and friendship I have to rely on scraps of friendship from people who I know are basically toxic and will gossip about anything I tell them to everyone else.
> 
> I can't stand begging for scraps of social contact, but I don't have any choice as I am at the bottom of the rung in any kind of social hierarchy.


Don't waste your time with people like that Bob.

It's a shame we don't live closer, we could have a coffee.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Dealing with my loved ones murder.

The pain hasn't gone away. 

Supposedly what I'm going through is quite normal.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Dealing with my loved ones murder.
> 
> The pain hasn't gone away.
> 
> Supposedly what I'm going through is quite normal.


Maybe some counselling or therapy mate? I don't see how it could hurt, might help to talk all this through with someone that knows how to do it.

I'm very glad I had an experience with a counsellor on the phone a while ago. She was incredible - very good at her job.


----------



## SparklingWater

Bored. Lazy. Dreading work.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Maybe some counselling or therapy mate? I don't see how it could hurt, might help to talk all this through with someone that knows how to do it.


Thank you for your advice mate.

Just murder and the way it was done is hard to deal with.

Sudden death one is not expecting.

Easier to accept if wasn't murder.

Just I have to put it in the back of mind so to speak and forget.

But when love a lost loved one for a long time, that is hard to do. 

Or think of them as not gone, but will see them at a later date which is advice from I think was Aliyahs brother when had to deal with her sudden death.



harrison said:


> I'm very glad I had an experience with a counsellor on the phone a while ago. She was incredible - very good at her job.


Had a mix of good, bad counsellors. Better if avoid people like that. Don't need the extra stress if have a bad counsellor.


----------



## SplendidBob

harrison said:


> It's a shame we don't live closer, we could have a coffee.


For sure mate .


----------



## Noraborealis

Really freaking depressed, sad, left out, abandoned, and like I should be eating/cleaning but can't rn


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Noraborealis said:


> Really freaking depressed, sad, left out, abandoned, and like I should be eating/cleaning but can't rn


Aww. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Noraborealis said:


> Really freaking depressed, sad, left out, abandoned, and like I should be eating/cleaning but can't rn


 :hug


----------



## riverbird

Quite happy thanks to five beers and loud music and a house to myself.


----------



## funnynihilist

riverbird said:


> Quite happy thanks to five beers and loud music and a house to myself.


Now that's livin!


----------



## riverbird

funnynihilist said:


> Now that's livin!


If only I sounded as good singing as I think I do when drunk!


----------



## unknovvn

among other things - lonely from not being very close to anyone, dissatisfied with my life, bored from lacking hobbies, dysphoric, upset with myself _for_ being upset when others have much worse going on in their lives, and... a bit hypocritical, I don't want to vent to my friends, and yet I very much wish they would tell me what's stressing them atm,


----------



## funnynihilist

riverbird said:


> If only I sounded as good singing as I think I do when drunk!


Give us a sample! We'll let you know!


----------



## riverbird

funnynihilist said:


> Give us a sample! We'll let you know!


That might require more beer. Which I do have. Although now I'm currently wondering if the neighbors can see me dancing in the kitchen. Why can't I be as carefree sober? Because even if they can see me I don't even care...


----------



## funnynihilist

riverbird said:


> That might require more beer. Which I do have. Although now I'm currently wondering if the neighbors can see me dancing in the kitchen. Why can't I be as carefree sober? Because even if they can see me I don't even care...


Ah, the magic of alc alc alcohol..been there many times....


----------



## riverbird

funnynihilist said:


> Ah, the magic of alc alc alcohol..been there many times....


It is quite magical.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted, mildly asthmatic, & alien


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Canadian Brotha said:


> Exhausted, mildly asthmatic, & alien


Oh man, I hope you feel more lively soon my friend. :rub


----------



## Canadian Brotha

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Oh man, I hope you feel more lively soon my friend. :rub


Just poor sleep & too much liquor of late, I'll be ok


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Canadian Brotha said:


> Just poor sleep & too much liquor of late, I'll be ok


Cutting back on alcohol certainly helps. I speak from experience. Good luck.


----------



## komorikun

Shaky. Earthquake or a big train going by?


----------



## Citrine79

Totally meh! This is probably one of the last nice, warm days for awhile, I should be out doing something but just lack the desire.


----------



## zainer

*I am Feeling Happy*

I spend a few days with family and i thank creator who gave me a chance to experience the world.:smile2:


----------



## Crisigv

Today is a rough day. Really depressed. No coping mechanism for my anxiety. I'm a mess.


----------



## SplendidBob

Crisigv said:


> Today is a rough day. Really depressed. No coping mechanism for my anxiety. I'm a mess.


Basically how I am feeling atm too. Am totally overwhelmed by multiple things, and I am struggling to keep things in check.

The last two weeks I have just been focusing on my appearance, getting new clothing, obsessively going to the gym and trying to exercise the pain away. It's a terribly inadequate band aid, which is starting to no longer work.

All the while trying to get support from people, and yet not overwhelming them so much they start avoiding me. It's like a terrifying self fulfilling prophecy, the less social interactions and support I have, the more I need, the more I try to get support to ease my anxiety, the more people move away from me, the more I try to get support and so on.

Stupid anxious attachment style.

Anyway, sorry your day has been rough. They do seem (for me anyway) to vary quite a lot, so fingers crossed for good days . Hang in there.


----------



## farfegnugen

Kind of pissed that I can't reply to a thread more than 99 days old.


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

farfegnugen said:


> Kind of pissed that I can't reply to a thread more than 99 days old.


You absolutely can reply to such threads on here! Just need to tick a box first.


----------



## sanpellegrino

Toothachey


----------



## harrison

I just feel like I want a few weeks up in Bali please - on my own.


----------



## funnynihilist

Sick, too much cake


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Annoyed and lonely


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Annoyed and lonely


Awww. :hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Had a sore and dry throat today. Still going. Had some tea with honey. Need to take an Advil and sleep it off. **** me. 


PurplePeopleEater said:


> Annoyed and lonely


Awww! It is okay sweetie, I am feeling lonely too.  :hug :squeeze


----------



## BeautyandRage

Blue without you


----------



## MostUnwanted

Looks like I’ll only get 5 hours of sleep tonight.


----------



## harrison

Good thanks. Just a bit concerned my wife says she wants to buy a lawn mower. 

Somehow I can't exactly picture her running around out in the back yard doing the lawn - so I wonder who'll be doing it? :roll


----------



## SparklingWater

Tired.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Good thanks. Just a bit concerned my wife says she wants to buy a lawn mower.
> 
> Somehow I can't exactly picture her running around out in the back yard doing the lawn - so I wonder who'll be doing it? :roll


Servicing them too which is not cheap (cheaper than a car). A hundy or so with new blades, airfilter, sparkplug, etc every 25 hours of use (around 50 mowings, depending on size of lawn, etc).

I would suggest electric for low running cost's. That is if lawn is low, small.

Flymo or similar as works great on big sections, hills. As long as grass is dry, not long.

Make sure it mulches, as need no catcher and emptying of catcher into a bin which adds extra cost's as needs to be collected.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SparklingWater said:


> Tired.


I wish you a good sleep.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Older.


----------



## Graeme1988

First SoundCloud, now YouTube... 

Why do ah keep exposing myself... musically? Ah don’t even think I’m that great a songwriter.

Also ah really need to get back in shape.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@iAmCodeMonkey  Sorry. You can always talk to me. It doesnt help much since its online interactions but I'm all ears.
@Mondo_Fernando :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> First SoundCloud, now YouTube...
> 
> Why do ah keep exposing myself... musically? Ah don't even think I'm that great a songwriter.


Try, try and try again. Practice makes perfect as they say.



Graeme1988 said:


> Also ah really need to get back in shape.


Running man? :O



PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando :squeeze


Thanks Purple.

That is very nice of you. :hug

Such a lovely person.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Servicing them too which is not cheap (cheaper than a car). A hundy or so with new blades, airfilter, sparkplug, etc every 25 hours of use (around 50 mowings, depending on size of lawn, etc).
> 
> I would suggest electric for low running cost's. That is if lawn is low, small.
> 
> Flymo or similar as works great on big sections, hills. As long as grass is dry, not long.
> 
> Make sure it mulches, as need no catcher and emptying of catcher into a bin which adds extra cost's as needs to be collected.


We've been getting someone to just come and do it for us for ages now and I think she should probably just keep doing that. She won't like doing it herself - it's pretty hard to imagine it really.  And my dizziness would make it hard for me to do it nowadays.

I used to mow a lot of land when I was young - we had a huge yard and my Mum would just tell me to get out there and do it. I used to quite like it actually - I love the smell of freshly mown grass. I still love that smell - but I can do without the work.

She'll most likely change her mind anyway.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @*iAmCodeMonkey*  Sorry. You can always talk to me. It doesn't help much since its online interactions but I'm all ears.


Thanks for wanting to listen to me. :squeeze

Sometimes I still think of the woman I dated for almost a year and wonder what could have been if communication wasn't so off-and-on near the end and there were less red-flags with her (personality disorder for a start). It felt so awesome in the beginning with her (approximately the first 3 dates), but got more and more forced as time went on. Plus she had to move to another city further away from me. Now we are still online contacts on Discord and Facebook, but she never reaches out to me. At all. Not even a "Hey, how are you?" I even posted a happy birthday gif on her Facebook feed but she never acknowledged it. Yet she still has time to share posts from other people off-and-on as well.

I feel used for convenience rather than taken seriously, which pisses me off about wasting my time with her. :sigh


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> We've been getting someone to just come and do it for us for ages now and I think she should probably just keep doing that. She won't like doing it herself - it's pretty hard to imagine it really.  And my dizziness would make it hard for me to do it nowadays.


If getting older, probably best to get someone to do it.

I found it cheaper to do it myself and do a better job.

Get exercise too which is good for the body.



harrison said:


> I used to mow a lot of land when I was young - we had a huge yard and my Mum would just tell me to get out there and do it. I used to quite like it actually - I love the smell of freshly mown grass. I still love that smell - but I can do without the work.


Wow. :O

Some remove grass and put decking (pre oiled / treated in a factory) in place with a pool for low maintenance.



harrison said:


> She'll most likely change her mind anyway.


Some food might sway her decision to hiring someone.  :b


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Try, try and try again. Practice makes perfect as they say.


True. But I don't know... probably more my self confidence issues than my lack of musicality tae be honest.

That said, ma oldest sister isn't helping any. Not that I don't appreciate the support - my older sister did'nae seem aw that impressed, not that I'm surprised, really - I just don't know what I should say, like when my oldest sister suggested that I should make a CD compilation of my instrumentals and send it into the local radio station in our area. Or saying: _"You could write a song like that"_, if I happen to listening to one of my favourite bands. As if it _that_ easy...y'know?



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Running man? :O


Yeah, I need to get back to the gym and start working out again. And get back into the exercise routine was doing after I had my orthopaedic surgery a few years ago.


----------



## Persephone The Dread




----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Thanks for wanting to listen to me. :squeeze
> 
> Sometimes I still think of the woman I dated for almost a year and wonder what could have been if communication wasn't so off-and-on near the end and there were less red-flags with her (personality disorder for a start). It felt so awesome in the beginning with her (approximately the first 3 dates), but got more and more forced as time went on. Plus she had to move to another city further away from me. Now we are still online contacts on Discord and Facebook, but she never reaches out to me. At all. Not even a "Hey, how are you?" I even posted a happy birthday gif on her Facebook feed but she never acknowledged it. Yet she still has time to share posts from other people off-and-on as well.
> 
> I feel used for convenience rather than taken seriously, which pisses me off about wasting my time with her. :sigh


I'm sorry.  If she has time to do that, you would think she'd have time to reply to you. :/ You deserve better. :squeeze Seems like a lot of people have time to post on FB but dont seem to have time to reply to messages. It's hard to let go of people you like, though. :S Wish the best for you.

I know some people can be busy, too or maybe they're nervous about replying.

@Mondo_Fernando You're welcome.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> True. But I don't know... probably more my self confidence issues than my lack of musicality tae be honest.


Just knowing what to do and who to talk to, etc. Once have that is fairly easy to do. That is where working in the industry for a few years or just even helping out you can learn about those contact's, what to do, etc.



Graeme1988 said:


> That said, ma oldest sister isn't helping any. Not that I don't appreciate the support - my older sister did'nae seem aw that impressed, not that I'm surprised, really - I just don't know what I should say, like when my oldest sister suggested that I should make a CD compilation of my instrumentals and send it into the local radio station in our area.


Not really who deals with those types of foley tracks (maybe back in the days they did with the Wolfman, etc).


* *












You go to websites like this below that have links to jobs, companies that do foley work for games, TV, etc.

https://soundlister.com/audio-job/foley-artist/

Every country has their own websites / versions of that type of website.

Need a demo reel of your work, first 30 seconds makes the difference and has to impress / catch their attention (test on others, get feed back).

First demo reel shows the different instruments you play, using different equipment, etc.

As you do a job, can add your part to demo reel later if allowed to.

Otherwise they eject CD and throw it in the bin of other applicants (usual story).

There are companies that sell royalty free foley work. From what I understand, just based on how many CD's are sold, not everytime music plays you get payed sort of thing.

But most companies (smaller ones) look for jack of all trades, basically a generalist. Big companies employ more specialist's.



Graeme1988 said:


> Or saying: _"You could write a song like that"_, if I happen to listening to one of my favourite bands. As if it _that_ easy...y'know?


A song is just made up of many tracks. Sound editing program helps a lot.

Backing beat, then other tracks on top.

The 80's songs are making a comeback, so that is where I would look if using instrument based songs.



Graeme1988 said:


> Yeah, I need to get back to the gym and start working out again. And get back into the exercise routine was doing after I had my orthopaedic surgery a few years ago.


Was thinking like this.


* *












:O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando You're welcome.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm sorry.  If she has time to do that, you would think she'd have time to reply to you. :/ You deserve better. :squeeze Seems like a lot of people have time to post on FB but don't seem to have time to reply to messages. It's hard to let go of people you like, though. :S Wish the best for you.
> 
> I know some people can be busy, too or maybe they're nervous about replying.


Yeah, I know what you are saying about people being nervous or busy, but still. To me, if someone has the time to talk to other people online, but never comes to you at all, to me that is a huge red flag that they only care about you on their terms and possibly have a manipulative personality. I hope I can find someone who actually cares enough to consistently be supportive. That was a problem too, sadly, along with some red flags in stories about her past, including violence by her own hand.

Thanks for wishing me well Shelby. I hope you find someone too. Almost-relationships are the hardest to forget. :hug :squeeze


----------



## Ai

****ing useless. I really need to get some help, have my meds adjusted. But the trust I had for my doctor has worn so thin, I don't even want to. I can't make myself do it.


----------



## LeCoffee

I just feel so alone


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Itchy. My allergies are really acting up. Weird time of day for that. :bah


----------



## Eternal Solitude

Ai said:


> ****ing useless. I really need to get some help, have my meds adjusted. But the trust I had for my doctor has worn so thin, I don't even want to. I can't make myself do it.


:squeeze

It is so hard to trust health professionals...or psychotropic drugs for that matter. The first act like emotional prostitutes: they feign empathy and care, but it is all a monetary transaction at the end of the day. The latter, based on my experience, offer little help.

I sure hope that things improve for you.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hope you guys feel better soon. :group



SamanthaStrange said:


> Itchy. My allergies are really acting up. Weird time of day for that. :bah


  :hug


LeCoffee said:


> I just feel so alone


 :rub


Ai said:


> ****ing useless. I really need to get some help, have my meds adjusted. But the trust I had for my doctor has worn so thin, I don't even want to. I can't make myself do it.


 :hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@iAmCodeMonkey Thank you.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> @*iAmCodeMonkey* Thank you.


You're welcome! Anytime.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Yeah, I know what you are saying about people being nervous or busy, but still. To me, if someone has the time to talk to other people online, but never comes to you at all, to me that is a huge red flag that they only care about you on their terms and possibly have a manipulative personality. I hope I can find someone who actually cares enough to consistently be supportive. That was a problem too, sadly, along with some red flags in stories about her past, including violence by her own hand.
> 
> Thanks for wishing me well Shelby. I hope you find someone too. Almost-relationships are the hardest to forget. :hug :squeeze


I absolutely agree. That is a definite red flag. :/ In time, I hope you do. Good luck. Violence is a huge no no. :no I'm so sorry. There's no excuse for anyone being violent. :squeeze

I know everyone's different when it comes to being busy but imo I find it fairly easy to send replies...at least short replies even on busy days. It might be tedious to send long replies or something but with short replies, I seem to have time to do. Haha. But then again, I'm not constantly busy.


----------



## Ai

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Hope you guys feel better soon. :group


Thanks. I'm trying... just not hard enough. lol



Eternal Solitude said:


> :squeeze
> 
> It is so hard to trust health professionals...or psychotropic drugs for that matter. The first act like emotional prostitutes: they feign empathy and care, but it is all a monetary transaction at the end of the day. The latter, based on my experience, offer little help.
> 
> I sure hope that things improve for you.


Well, I mean. I don't expect a personal relationship. I know that it's just a job for her, as much as she may or may not actually care about the welfare of her patients. What really sort of crushed me was that, after a long slew of condescending pricks who didn't believe me about my physical ailments, she really seemed to... She was kind, listened to me, and actually ordered tests. She seemed invested in helping me. But we weren't making much headway.

At one point, out of random curiosity and boredom, I happened to click through some appointment notes one day... and found written, right in my record where all future doctors could see, that she was apparently "fairly certain" I was "just a hypochondriac."

I was gutted.

Haven't gone back since.

Incidentally, this is also why I almost wish I'd never admitted my anxiety officially in the first place.

:serious:

Anyway, thanks for the well wishes, though. They're appreciated.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Ai said:


> Thanks. I'm trying... just not hard enough. lol
> 
> Well, I mean. I don't expect a personal relationship. I know that it's just a job for her, as much as she may or may not actually care about the welfare of her patients. What really sort of crushed me was that, after a long slew of condescending pricks who didn't believe me about my physical ailments, she really seemed to... She was kind, listened to me, and actually ordered tests. She seemed invested in helping me. But we weren't making much headway.
> 
> At one point, out of random curiosity and boredom, I happened to click through some appointment notes one day... and found written, right in my record where all future doctors could see, that she was apparently "fairly certain" I was "just a hypochondriac."
> 
> I was gutted.
> 
> Haven't gone back since.


 Oh man. Doctors who act concerned to your face and then dismiss you completely behind your back are worse than incompetant doctors who at least try (IMO). There should be no secret records but I have even heard of doctors making up code speak for things they put in people's records to say the patient is a pain in the butt so future doctors will refuse to treat them. It's criminal, IMO. If they're going to refuse to treat you they should tell you why to your face and not be cowards and leave you to wondering what went wrong.


----------



## kesker

SamanthaStrange said:


> Itchy. My allergies are really acting up. Weird time of day for that. :bah


:squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

kesker said:


> :squeeze


:squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

I'm beyond sad, beyond being able to be saved. I'll never get better.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I'm beyond sad, beyond being able to be saved. I'll never get better.


:hug


----------



## Blue Dino

Dealing with a toxic person, gives me anger, which makes me grumpy, and naturally I start unleashing my temper on others. These others will feel horrible, which will then anger them, and they will feel grumpy, so they start unleashing their temper on others. This keeps spreading and spreading. It all starts with that one toxic person. Unfortunately if that toxic person is a constant presence and they will not change, they are just going to be a fixed negative social catalyst that gradually will make more and more people miserable.


----------



## funnynihilist

I don't sleep well


----------



## Eternal Solitude

WillYouStopDave said:


> Oh man. Doctors who act concerned to your face and then dismiss you completely behind your back are worse than incompetant doctors who at least try (IMO). There should be no secret records but I have even heard of doctors making up code speak for things they put in people's records to say the patient is a pain in the butt so future doctors will refuse to treat them. It's criminal, IMO. If they're going to refuse to treat you they should tell you why to your face and not be cowards and leave you to wondering what went wrong.


This conversation reminded me of a headline I read a while back in which Doctors openly insult and berate a patient who is under anesthesia . All because the patient was persistent about suffering from physical ailments but the Doctors could not find an explanation so they branded him crazy...

See for yourself:






As a side note. My baby sister always complained about headaches but the Doctors always dismissed her symptoms as the ramblings of a child that is imitating her crazy mother... then she died of a brain hemorrhage caused by an aneurysm according to the autopsy.

:serious:



SamanthaStrange said:


> Itchy. My allergies are really acting up. Weird time of day for that. :bah


:squeeze


----------



## Citrine79

Not doing well at all right now. My entire adult life has been plagued by constant anxiety and recently depression. Somehow I have always managed to hold it together and function on a daily basis. I have reached the point where I cannot do that anymore. I don’t care at all about my job, I do the bare minimum. Fall/winter and holiday time is when I usually am at my worst. So given how bad I am feeling right now, I am worried about how much worse it will get especially because winter is especially bad where I live.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Citrine79

:hug


----------



## Ai

WillYouStopDave said:


> Oh man. Doctors who act concerned to your face and then dismiss you completely behind your back are worse than incompetant doctors who at least try (IMO). There should be no secret records but I have even heard of doctors making up code speak for things they put in people's records to say the patient is a pain in the butt so future doctors will refuse to treat them. It's criminal, IMO. If they're going to refuse to treat you they should tell you why to your face and not be cowards and leave you to wondering what went wrong.


No disagreement there.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Ai said:


> No disagreement there.


 It's like they want people to trust their doctors more than anyone else but then they go behind your back and do all sorts of sketchy **** like this at the same time they're telling you that they're helping you. How can you trust someone who just summarily dismisses everything you have to say and on top of that, tells other doctors to do the same thing without even telling you?


----------



## Ai

WillYouStopDave said:


> It's like they want people to trust their doctors more than anyone else but then they go behind your back and do all sorts of sketchy **** like this at the same time they're telling you that they're helping you. How can you trust someone who just summarily dismisses everything you have to say and on top of that, tells other doctors to do the same thing without even telling you?


Yup. It's beyond twisted.

And I just don't have the energy to deal with it anymore. Sigh.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Nice to see you around @Ai


----------



## Ai

SamanthaStrange said:


> Nice to see you around @Ai


Thanks. Nice to see you too. Your avatar is adorable.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ai said:


> Thanks. Nice to see you too. Your avatar is adorable.


Thanks!


----------



## funnynihilist

Tired but gonna force myself to take the bike to the trail....in....5...4....3...2...ummm..let's start at 1000


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm kind of annoyed. :/


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm kind of annoyed. :/


:hug


----------



## blue2

Someone told me I need to get out of my comfort zone & try new things .............…....I think I did it wrong cause I'm a racist now 😞


----------



## Euripides

Pathetic.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :hug


I feel a bit better now. Thanks.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I feel a bit better now. Thanks.


Good to hear.

You're welcome.


----------



## Crisigv

If it wasn't real before, it is now. This is getting very serious. There's almost no relief from the pain anymore.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Feeling alright. Occasionally lonely. Fighting a cold. Having a cup of tea. Gaming. Waiting patiently to see if I got the job I interviewed for today.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Euripides said:


> Pathetic.


You are not pathetic. :rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> If it wasn't real before, it is now. This is getting very serious. There's almost no relief from the pain anymore.


Aww. :hug



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Feeling alright. Occasionally lonely. Fighting a cold. Having a cup of tea. Gaming. Waiting patiently to see if I got the job I interviewed for today.


I hope you get over that cold mate. In addition, get that job.

Stay strong mate.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm mad at my sister for just leaving me hanging like that. No explanation. Nothing. Even though she saw my message. It's very simple to pick up the phone and talk for a minute to give me her SSN. I told her its required to have it. It's not like I was asking for 10 minutes of her time. But whatever. I know someone who isn't even in my family that wont hesitate to give me hers. It's just life insurance so guess its not that big a deal to have but it's a benefit from my job so might as well not take it for granted. It still helps to have it. So annoyed with my sister. She works at McDonald's. Cant be that busy. I'm a manager with a full time job and I can still take a minute out of my time to reply. I always seem to have trouble with getting things done that other people at my job seem to have no trouble with or seem to get help from other people with. :/ 

Now I have to use white out on my application since I already put her name and birthday down. Not sure who else to use. My parents aren't the best option. Guess I'll have to use one of my other sisters. I'd rather not use that woman. *sigh*


----------



## SunshineSam218

Right now I'm feeling quite sad/depressed because I lost my brother and have been crying a lot this week. It's been very hard for me to speak to others, but I know I should try contacting my friends sometime soon. I'm just feeling too sad right now to speak to anyone.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Stupid. Anxious.


----------



## BeautyandRage

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Feeling alright. Occasionally lonely. Fighting a cold. Having a cup of tea. Gaming. Waiting patiently to see if I got the job I interviewed for today.


Good luck :yay


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

You'll probably need to initial the change too.

Or ask for a new application form.

Got a Lawyer? They can help with that sort of thing.

@SunshineSam218

:hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I'm not feeling well at all. 
* *




I'm having another heavy, crampy period, with a bonus headache.


 I also couldn't sleep well last night. When I did finally fall asleep I had a nightmare.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@SamanthaStrange Awww! :hug :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit dejected today.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> @SamanthaStrange Awww! :hug :squeeze


Thanks, monkey.

Sorry your job thing didn't work out.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

Very bad today. Starting to get tired of my work.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks, monkey.
> 
> Sorry your job thing didn't work out.


No problem sammy, and thanks for responding. Makes me feel a bit better about it.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ominous Indeed said:


> Very bad today. Starting to get tired of my work.


 :rub


----------



## andy1984

hungry


----------



## SparklingWater

Lazy. Skeptical, horrified, jealous. Tired.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SparklingWater

:hug


----------



## blue2

-_- ~zzzZZ


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

^^Mooooooo.

Milking time me thinks laddy. :b :lol


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling unloved and uncared for. Everyone wants to borrow money from me and the people I live with have the nerve to ask me if they can borrow money for stupid weed. They can use their own money for that. Then a guy at work that talks **** about people wanted to borrow 5 dollars from me. I just told him I dont carry cash on me.

Oh and my other sister seems like she made up an excuse not to give me her SSN, either. Apparently, a friend of hers got in a car wreck. Sure, today of all days. I call BS. Also, the irony of that excuse astounds me. Again, cant be hard at all to pick up the phone and call me. I even told her what time Id be getting off work. But shes a preppy snob anyways. Like she'd care to be my beneficiary. 

So looks like I'll have to find someone else.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feeling unloved and uncared for. Everyone wants to borrow money from me and the people I live with have the nerve to ask me if they can borrow money for stupid weed. They can use their own money for that. Then a guy at work that talks **** about people wanted to borrow 5 dollars from me. I just told him I dont carry cash on me.
> 
> Oh and my other sister seems like she made up an excuse not to give me her SSN, either. Apparently, a friend of hers got in a car wreck. Sure, today of all days. I call BS. Also, the irony of that excuse astounds me. Again, cant be hard at all to pick up the phone and call me. I even told her what time Id be getting off work. But shes a preppy snob anyways. Like she'd care to be my beneficiary.
> 
> So looks like I'll have to find someone else.


Oh man, that sucks!  :hug :squeeze


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Oh man, that sucks!  :hug :squeeze


Sometimes I feel like I'm cursed. :frown2: I know curses aren't true but it sure feels that way. :crying:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Sometimes I feel like I'm cursed. :frown2: I know curses aren't true but it sure feels that way. :crying:


Awww, poor thing! :hug


----------



## 0589471

over exposed. anxious. foolish.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Awww, poor thing! :hug


Thanks. Had a ****ty day with people mainly. :sigh


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> over exposed. anxious. foolish.


Awww.  :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feeling unloved and uncared for. Everyone wants to borrow money from me and the people I live with have the nerve to ask me if they can borrow money for stupid weed. They can use their own money for that. Then a guy at work that talks **** about people wanted to borrow 5 dollars from me. I just told him I dont carry cash on me.


:hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Oh and my other sister seems like she made up an excuse not to give me her SSN, either. Apparently, a friend of hers got in a car wreck. Sure, today of all days. I call BS. Also, the irony of that excuse astounds me. Again, cant be hard at all to pick up the phone and call me. I even told her what time Id be getting off work. But shes a preppy snob anyways. Like she'd care to be my beneficiary.
> 
> So looks like I'll have to find someone else.


Does it have to be someone you have known for a while (year or more)?



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> over exposed. anxious. foolish.


:hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando My boss told me it could be anyone. But I kinda wanted to use someone I'm related to. Theres this woman who has done me favors before that says I'm her best friend and she gave me her SSN today. :/ She'ss the best option. She obviously trusts me, which is a good sign.

But shes 56 and it's best to use someone that's younger. I'll just ask my mother I guess. But shes older than her so Idk.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando My boss told me it could be anyone. But I kinda wanted to use someone I'm related to. Theres this woman who has done me favors before that says I'm her best friend and she gave me her SSN today. :/ She'ss the best option. She obviously trusts me, which is a good sign.
> 
> But shes 56 and it's best to use someone that's younger. I'll just ask my mother I guess. But shes older than her so Idk.


Oh, ok.

Can always change it at a review every once and a while (usually can).


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Oh, ok.
> 
> Can always change it at a review every once and a while (usually can).


Alright.  Well I'll use her. Forgot to ask her for her birthday. I'll call her back tomorrow cause it's too late now.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Alright.  Well I'll use her. Forgot to ask her for her birthday. I'll call her back tomorrow cause it's too late now.


Double check that you can and what can be changed at reviews.

I know it has to be done with car insurance due to the value of the car changes.

Basically read the small print as far as the policy goes and what you, they need to do before signing it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Double check that you can and what can be changed at reviews.
> 
> I know it has to be done with car insurance due to the value of the car changes.
> 
> Basically read the small print as far as the policy goes and what you, they need to do before signing it.


My boss just told me to use whiteout. If I have to go through so many steps just to get it, then I say screw it and forget about the insurance. Waste of time. I'm already in a bad mood.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> My boss just told me to use whiteout.


That should work.

If signed the form already, you'll have to put initials (first letter of first name, last name) next to the change. Théy could think someone else has modified it after it is signed. The initials tells them you did it.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> If I have to go through so many steps just to get it, then I say screw it and forget about the insurance. Waste of time. I'm already in a bad mood.


Hey, hey, hey. :hug

It is just the setup stäge which can be frustrating, stressful if haven't done it before.


----------



## BeautyandRage

Sad


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando I'll try not to get upset over it. I just havent felt like doing anything since I got home today except for coming on here all night and that's unlike me. But it's not about not getting the paper filled out. It's about everyone acting like they dont care then having people want to borrow money from me. I dont even make good money as a manager, either. I'm not even making 11 an hour.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Mildly pukey. As I often feel.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

BeautyandRage said:


> Sad


 :hug :squeeze


leaf in the wind said:


> Mildly pukey. As I often feel.


 :hug :squeeze


----------



## leaf in the wind

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> :hug :squeeze
> :hug :squeeze


Thanks dear. :squeeze


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

leaf in the wind said:


> Thanks dear. :squeeze


Oh no you "deared" me. :lol :grin2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

BeautyandRage said:


> Sad


:hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando I'll try not to get upset over it. I just havent felt like doing anything since I got home today except for coming on here all night and that's unlike me.


Sometimes a rest is as good as a change. Especially if mentally, physically tired.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> But it's not about not getting the paper filled out. It's about everyone acting like they dont care then having people want to borrow money from me. I dont even make good money as a manager, either. I'm not even making 11 an hour.


Usually keep distance from those types of people. Have something to do sort of thing and have to rush out.

Eventually they will get bored and leave you alone once know they won't get anything from you.

React or respond and they will keep pressuring until get what they want.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Maybe this might take your mind off things and make you laugh.


* *












Everyone of them is a classic awkward moment. :lol


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Just knowing what to do and who to talk to, etc. Once have that is fairly easy to do. That is where working in the industry for a few years or just even helping out you can learn about those contact's, what to do, etc.


That's true.



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Not really who deals with those types of foley tracks (maybe back in the days they did with the Wolfman, etc).
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You go to websites like this below that have links to jobs, companies that do foley work for games, TV, etc.
> 
> https://soundlister.com/audio-job/foley-artist/
> 
> Every country has their own websites / versions of that type of website.
> 
> Need a demo reel of your work, first 30 seconds makes the difference and has to impress / catch their attention (test on others, get feed back).
> 
> First demo reel shows the different instruments you play, using different equipment, etc.
> 
> As you do a job, can add your part to demo reel later if allowed to.
> 
> Otherwise they eject CD and throw it in the bin of other applicants (usual story).
> 
> There are companies that sell royalty free foley work. From what I understand, just based on how many CD's are sold, not everytime music plays you get payed sort of thing.
> 
> But most companies (smaller ones) look for jack of all trades, basically a generalist. Big companies employ more specialist's.


Thanks for that advice, Mondo. 



Mondo_Fernando said:


> A song is just made up of many tracks. Sound editing program helps a lot.
> 
> Backing beat, then other tracks on top.
> 
> The 80's songs are making a comeback, so that is where I would look if using instrument based songs.


Listening to my local radio station, ye wouldn't really know 80's songs are making a comeback. Their playlists seems to made up of a hit songs from that decade, as well as the 70's and 90s. :lol



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Was thinking like this.
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :O


Oh ! That reminds me: I'll have give that movie a rewatch, it's been a few years since I last watched it.


----------



## harrison

I'm tired too. Always tiring organising things for the family - and making sure it all goes okay. Thankfully there were no arguments and he's gone home happy.


----------



## 0589471

entirely like ****


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> That's true.


:yes



Graeme1988 said:


> Thanks for that advice, Mondo.


You're welcome.



Graeme1988 said:


> Listening to my local radio station, ye wouldn't really know 80's songs are making a comeback. Their playlists seems to made up of a hit songs from that decade, as well as the 70's and 90s. :lol


:O



Graeme1988 said:


> Oh ! That reminds me: I'll have give that movie a rewatch, it's been a few years since I last watched it.


:yes



karenw said:


> Very tired


Wish you a good sleep.



harrison said:


> I'm tired too. Always tiring organising things for the family - and making sure it all goes okay. Thankfully there were no arguments and he's gone home happy.


Wish you a good sleep too.

Good to hear that he has gone home happy.



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> entirely like ****


Awww. :hug


----------



## Graeme1988

Depressed now, listening to my mother say how she's glad she going outta the world because she cannae cope or do anything without being nagged at by her daughters. 

Yet ah've telt her many a time if she stood up for herself n' stood her ground then she wouldnae treated like she is. Even made a point of saying ah huv'nae forgotten the argument we've hud over the years, but they've taught me to respect her and know when not push or force an issue if she's no wanting to talk about it. My sister are always falling out with her over trivial things, like what she buys when shopping.

F__k, ah even telt her how ah feel like am the yin holding the family together ! And she f__kin' agreed that ah could right in hat regard. I also said that ah feel guilty whenever ah do summit for myself, or buy myself summit. Cuz ah feel ah dinnae deserve it.

On a more positive note, though. Yin o' the fellas that runs and works in the local musicial instrument shop in my area recognised me, even though it's well over 10 years since ah've been in the shop or bought anything from there. I went in to ask if he could shape an unfinished guitar headstock for me. Which he said would be nae bother, as long as ah wus'nae in hurry to get it. Cuz he was going to taking to his own workshop. Since the store does'nae huv the space or equipment for the job.

And as soon as ah said and spelt out ma surname, he looks up from the piece paper he just wrote on, smiles and says: _"Wus it you that ah did that custom Floyd Rose for?"
Ah went: "Aye, the Fender guitar"
"Oh aye, that's the one ! The sunburst Strat, if ah remember right. Ye need tae get a replacement the guitar neck so ah could get fitted it properly?"
"Uh-Huh! That's right"
"Ah knew the name was familiar"
"Ah've still got that guitar"_ 

So, it was nice that he remembered me after all these years.  Might actually buy my next guitar from my local music store, just cuz it's always nice to have a chance try an instrument before ye commit to buying it, y'know?


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :O


Ah know... shockingly behind the times, huh? But, tae be fair, listening to my local radio station - as well as my mother vinyl and cassette tape collection when ah wus younger - has gave me an appreciation of music and bands that ah probably wouldn't have been exposed to or discovered otherwise.

And if am honest, I'd rather listen to music from the 80's and 90's (the decade ah grew up in) than some of the music that's out nowadays. Not that music's been utterly crap for the past 19 years - or maybe it has? - it just does'nae really appeal to me in the same way as a lot of those older bands.

Or it does resonate with me, ye could say. Pardon the music pun. But then that's probably down to my taste in music drastically changing after I turned 12? And for the worst, as my older sister would frequently remind me during my teen years. :lol


----------



## discopotato

Pissed off. I stayed home all day because I was supposed to have a very important package delivered to me. Only to receive a text that said that they tried to deliver the package but "the recipient wasn't home" which is complete bull****.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

discopotato said:


> Pissed off. I stayed home all day because I was supposed to have a very important package delivered to me. Only to receive a text that said that they tried to deliver the package but "the recipient wasn't home" which is complete bull****.


I've had that happen too, it's extremely annoying.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> Ah know... shockingly behind the times, huh? But, tae be fair, listening to my local radio station - as well as my mother vinyl and cassette tape collection when ah wus younger - has gave me an appreciation of music and bands that ah probably wouldn't have been exposed to or discovered otherwise.


I still have a cassette tape player in my car. :b



Graeme1988 said:


> And if am honest, I'd rather listen to music from the 80's and 90's (the decade ah grew up in) than some of the music that's out nowadays. Not that music's been utterly crap for the past 19 years - or maybe it has? - it just does'nae really appeal to me in the same way as a lot of those older bands.


It was synth back in the 80's.



Graeme1988 said:


> Or it does resonate with me, ye could say. Pardon the music pun. But then that's probably down to my taste in music drastically changing after I turned 12? And for the worst, as my older sister would frequently remind me during my teen years. :lol


Probably a synth fan. :b

For example.


* *














discopotato said:


> Pissed off. I stayed home all day because I was supposed to have a very important package delivered to me. Only to receive a text that said that they tried to deliver the package but "the recipient wasn't home" which is complete bull****.


In other words they drove by, saw noone there and kept driving. :O

Or truck broke down. :sus :stu


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Well, I'm getting *****ed at to clean my room again. And I have been cleaning it. Havent been *****ed at in months to clean. Sorry people are probably pissed I didnt give them weed money. Too bad so sad.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

:hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> entirely like ****


 "hugs"


----------



## zonebox

🅿🆁🅴🆃🆃🆈 🅶🅾🅾🅳,	🅻🅾🅾🅺🅸🅽🅶 🅵🅾🆁🆆🅰🆁🅳 🆃🅾 🆂🅾🅼🅴 🆁🆄🅼, 🅼🆄🆂🅸🅲, 🅰🅽🅳 🆅🅸🅳🅴🅾 🅶🅰🅼🅴🆂.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> :hug


I'm hoping I'll feel better tonight. I literally went to the park to eat my lunch and read my book cause I dont want to go to the house right now.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm hoping I'll feel better tonight.


I hope so. 



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I literally went to the park to eat my lunch and read my book cause I dont want to go to the house right now.


Good idea to keep away from toxic environment for mental health reasons. :yes


----------



## discopotato

SamanthaStrange said:


> I've had that happen too, it's extremely annoying.


 Yeah, especially when the estimated time of delivery is within a ridiculously large time frame, like between 8am and 6pm so you have to stay home all day :roll grrr


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I hope so.
> 
> Good idea to keep away from toxic environment for mental health reasons. :yes


Thanks. :squeeze

One of the perks of having my own vehicle. I was gone for 3 hours.


----------



## harrison

discopotato said:


> Yeah, especially when the estimated time of delivery is within a ridiculously large time frame, like between 8am and 6pm so you have to stay home all day :roll grrr


Very popular with trades people here too. I was always waiting around for someone to come and do something or other.

The alternative I guess is they turn up at 7:30 in the morning. My wife said the new guy that does her lawn/garden did that the other day.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks. :squeeze
> 
> One of the perks of having my own vehicle. I was gone for 3 hours.


You're welcome. :hug

Definitely helps, more independent.

I hope you are feeling better.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome. :hug
> 
> Definitely helps, more independent.
> 
> I hope you are feeling better.


Yea.  I'm feeling a little bit better. Thanks. I got to read my book, eat a nice lunch, and compliment this girl's greenish blue looking hair dye at the store. So I initiated a conversation with her. She's nice and I like her.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Yea.  I'm feeling a little bit better. Thanks. I got to read my book, eat a nice lunch, and compliment this girl's greenish blue looking hair dye at the store. So I initiated a conversation with her. She's nice and I like her.


You're welcome.

That is good to hear.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> That is good to hear.


Would be cool to be her friend. I told her I wanted to dye my hair and said I dont want to at the same time cause it might get damaged. But she said I could use vegan hair dye. I went kind of blank when she was talking to me cause there were like 4 people behind me in line so I just said I didnt think about that but what I meant to say was I never heard of it. Haha. I didnt think about that is usually my instant response when I get kinda nervous with talking and go blank and dont know what else to say.


----------



## CNikki

What's the point?

Best way I can summarize it right now.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

CNikki said:


> What's the point?
> 
> Best way I can summarize it right now.


:rub:rub:rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Would be cool to be her friend. I told her I wanted to dye my hair and said I dont want to at the same time cause it might get damaged. But she said I could use vegan hair dye. I went kind of blank when she was talking to me cause there were like 4 people behind me in line so I just said I didnt think about that but what I meant to say was I never heard of it. Haha. I didnt think about that is usually my instant response when I get kinda nervous with talking and go blank and dont know what else to say.


Never heard of vegan hair dye, but sounds interesting. :yes

Normal if haven't talked like that alot in public situations.

Takes a lot of exposure therapy to feel mildly comfortable.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Never heard of vegan hair dye, but sounds interesting. :yes
> 
> Normal if haven't talked like that alot in public situations.
> 
> Takes a lot of exposure therapy to feel mildly comfortable.


Ikr? Didnt know it existed.

Yea, happens to me a lot. I still have stuttering problems but sometimes I'll sound confident at the same time when I get a stutter. I hate having a stutter.

It definitely takes me a lot of exposure therapy. It took me a little over a year to be more open with the public.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Ikr? Didnt know it existed.


Most likely copied a traditional hair dye technique from some culture somewhere in the world. Then renamed it. Usually happens that way with products like that.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Yea, happens to me a lot. I still have stuttering problems but sometimes I'll sound confident at the same time when I get a stutter. I hate having a stutter.


I knew a guy that had a stutter and he just had to slow down talking wise and he was ok.

Stuttering usually happens due to talking too fast to just get everything out quickly.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> It definitely takes me a lot of exposure therapy. It took me a little over a year to be more open with the public.


If been isolated for a while, takes time to readjust to socializing again.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> What's the point?
> 
> Best way I can summarize it right now.


:sigh :rub :hug :squeeze


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Most likely copied a traditional hair dye technique from some culture somewhere in the world. Then renamed it. Usually happens that way with products like that.
> 
> I knew a guy that had a stutter and he just had to slow down talking wise and he was ok.
> 
> Stuttering usually happens due to talking too fast to just get everything out quickly.
> 
> If been isolated for a while, takes time to readjust to socializing again.


I doubt mine is from talking too fast. I think I've had it from trauma in the past or something. And some people are born with theirs. I think I've heard of people who got hit on the head or a concussion then ended up with a stuttering problem but that's not how mine happened.

Yea, I used to be a hermit for years.


----------



## SparklingWater

Confused. Do I just not get their humor or are they so misattuned to others feelings they always say the wrong thing? Either way it's really grating.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I doubt mine is from talking too fast. I think I've had it from trauma in the past or something. And some people are born with theirs. I think I've heard of people who got hit on the head or a concussion then ended up with a stuttering problem but that's not how mine happened.


Oh, ok. 



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Yea, I used to be a hermit for years.


But you are now gradually becoming a social butterfly. :O


----------



## CNikki

@WillYouStopDave & @iAmCodeMonkey,

Thank you. It has turned around quite nicely. You'll find out why soon enough.


----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Oh, ok.
> 
> But you are now gradually becoming a social butterfly. :O


I think by becoming more social and training my brain I can train it to get over this stuh stutter. :b Gotta make fun of myself sometimes. Haha.


----------



## blue2

Meow !!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I think by becoming more social and training my brain I can train it to get over this stuh stutter. :b Gotta make fun of myself sometimes. Haha.


:O :b

Yeah, can't take life too serious all the time. :yes


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> @*WillYouStopDave* & @*iAmCodeMonkey* ,
> 
> Thank you. It has turned around quite nicely. You'll find out why soon enough.


No problem. Hope your night is going well!:grin2:


----------



## harrison

Bloody tired. Took my medication again. My wife thought it was for the best and she's often right.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Scared honestly. Whenever I have a question about math people lose patience with me and get mad so I get scared and start shaking. Everyone tells me to go to the higher ups and I dont want to. I want them to help me but if they get an attitude with me, I'd rather figure it out on my own and get help from no one.Theres some sorry people out there and bo one can tell me otherwise.

I need a goddamn tutor.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Awww. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Really depressed as miss my lost loved one.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Really depressed as miss my lost loved one.


Awww!  :rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Awww!  :rub


Thanks mate.

Just one of those stages of grieving. Never felt it like this though.


----------



## scooby

blurred out


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> Awww. :hug


Thanks. I feel a bit better. Turns out she made me do it the hard way. I figured it out on my own. The way she did it this time was the easier way so I'm doing it that way. She already did the stuff for me but if I'd known she was going to do it yesterday, I would've come up here on my day off to do more training on it since I've only done it one time. I called her yesterday about it but she didnt say she'd do it for me so had to figure out how she did it by myself.


----------



## Rebootplease

What type of math? You can look on youtube for free video lessons.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Scared honestly. Whenever I have a question about math people lose patience with me and get mad so I get scared and start shaking. Everyone tells me to go to the higher ups and I dont want to. I want them to help me but if they get an attitude with me, I'd rather figure it out on my own and get help from no one.Theres some sorry people out there and bo one can tell me otherwise.
> 
> I need a goddamn tutor.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Rebootplease said:


> What type of math? You can look on youtube for free video lessons.


It doesnt matter. Really thinking about putting my two weeks notice in because of this broken store. Everything's been messing more and more now that I've been manager and its pushing me off the edge mentally. No one wants to fix anything here. Not worth it anymore. I cant be trying to fix something half of my day because it's messed up.


----------



## blue2

PurplePeopleEater said:


> It doesnt matter. Really thinking about putting my two weeks notice in because of this broken store. Everything's been messing more and more now that I've been manager and its pushing me off the edge mentally. No one wants to fix anything here. Not worth it anymore.


Work must be much the same everywhere my youngest sister recently quit her job in retail couldn't hack stupid bully co-workers, stupid disrespectful customers that you have to be nice too.


----------



## Rebootplease

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Rebootplease said:
> 
> 
> 
> What type of math? You can look on youtube for free video lessons.
> 
> 
> 
> It doesnt matter. Really thinking about putting my two weeks notice in because of this broken store. Everything's been messing more and more now that I've been manager and its pushing me off the edge mentally. No one wants to fix anything here. Not worth it anymore. I cant be trying to fix something half of my day because it's messed up.
Click to expand...

Yeah, manager is not an easy job.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks. I feel a bit better. Turns out she made me do it the hard way. I figured it out on my own. The way she did it this time was the easier way so I'm doing it that way. She already did the stuff for me but if I'd known she was going to do it yesterday, I would've come up here on my day off to do more training on it since I've only done it one time. I called her yesterday about it but she didnt say she'd do it for me so had to figure out how she did it by myself.


You're welcome.

Sounds like being tested.

All part of learning a new position.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> It doesnt matter. Really thinking about putting my two weeks notice in because of this broken store. Everything's been messing more and more now that I've been manager and its pushing me off the edge mentally. No one wants to fix anything here. Not worth it anymore. I cant be trying to fix something half of my day because it's messed up.


:hug

That is part of being a manager, trying to fix things, find workarounds. Not an easy job.

Look at that 4 percent increase you created. You are making a difference / change at that store.


----------



## Chris S W

Lost.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Chris S W

I hope you find your way mate.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

blue2 said:


> Work must be much the same everywhere my youngest sister recently quit her job in retail couldn't hack stupid bully co-workers, stupid disrespectful customers that you have to be nice too.


Yea, that's sad. I feel bad for her. :/ People should really be treated a lot better at minimum wage jobs. Maybe they wouldn't be so depressed as long as they're making decent enough pay.

I'm honestly thinking about working fast food at this small fast food place or as a bagger at another grocery store. I have a bit of an easier time talking to customers now but Idk. Was also thinking about working at a car wash but then I'd be working outside. I might end up doing Uber Eats or something. I have my own vehicle and I think they pay them a bit better than what I'm making now. I dont make good money for a manager. Not sure what job position would be the best for me. Out of these four, Uber Eats or a bagger sounds better.
@Rebootplease Actually, it was fairly easy until today. I told a few people I want to quit. It still has its downsides like dealing with a grumpy boss who wont help for nothing and having to keep up with a few things but it's a small work area.
@Mondo_Fernando Thanks.  My trainee did end up coming to work eventually, too. So that was a plus and she told me she doesnt want me to leave and that she needs me. Guess Im doing something right.


----------



## Chris S W

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @Chris S W
> 
> I hope you find your way mate.


Thank you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando Thanks.  My trainee did end up coming to work eventually, too. So that was a plus and she told me she doesnt want me to leave and that she needs me. Guess Im doing something right.


You're welcome.

Many things you are doing right possum - Dame Edna

If don't know who Dame Edna is.


* *


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Chris S W said:


> Thank you.


You're welcome mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Laughing as this little one is sooo cute.


* *


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Worried that in Russia a small cat that is nearly cornered is brave to take on :O


* *


----------



## SparklingWater

Better than I felt, but still headachey. Sad for my mom. Sad for myself. Tired. Dreading work tonight, but I'll be happy when I get my paycheck.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SparklingWater

Sorry to hear about the headache.

Try closing eyes for a bit to see if it helps.

Wishing you a good night at work.

Stay strong.


----------



## SparklingWater

@Mondo_Fernando Thanks.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SparklingWater

You're welcome.


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I still have a cassette tape player in my car. :b


Cool ! I've still got my 5 CD changer stereo. Evenn though I only ever use the iPod docking station on it nowadays.



Mondo_Fernando said:


> It was synth back in the 80's.


:teeth :lol Brilliant pun there, Mondo



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Probably a synth fan. :b
> 
> For example.
> 
> 
> * *


_My older sister?_ Naw! :no No, that kinda stuff... a bit too _"weird"_ for her musical taste. My oldest sister is more open to the mair experimental synth stuff, having been a massive fan of Kraftwerk when she was younger.

No, my older sister is more into trance and club music.

* *


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> Cool ! I've still got my 5 CD changer stereo. Evenn though I only ever use the iPod docking station on it nowadays.


Usually find those type of CD changers in the boot of a car, just under the parcel tray (area between rear seat and window in trunk / boot of car).

I think can connect to iPOD with the latest car stereo's.



Graeme1988 said:


> :teeth :lol Brilliant pun there, Mondo


No pun intended. :b

Always wanted to say that. :yes :b



Graeme1988 said:


> _My older sister?_ Naw! :no No, that kinda stuff... a bit too _"weird"_ for her musical taste. My oldest sister is more open to the mair experimental synth stuff, having been a massive fan of Kraftwerk when she was younger.
> 
> No, my older sister is more into trance and club music.
> 
> * *


That is cool, danced to that type of music in clubs. :yes

Headbanging to that with fist pump in the air. :yes

Ok, you never saw this becoming a old codger do that :b :lol


----------



## BeautyandRage

Lost


----------



## SparklingWater

Grateful. Hopeful. Excited. Tired. 8.5 hrs to go (on shift at work.)


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SparklingWater

You can do this (on shift at work). :yes

Stay strong.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Missing my lost loved one.

Feel really lonely.


----------



## twitchy666

who is that ANON person? 

why so globally, universally mentioned, centre of attention? every screenscriptwriter

pedestallised object

1-1 every person's allocated(ref) name perpetually deleted, replaced by the 'YOU' pseudonym? AMMO! 

anyone forgotten their name / everyone else's?

car plates usually labelled unique. these soon all just become displayed "YOU!"?

ßlame all TV. every presenter stares at camera: .. if YOU!? wanted or was or would, did pay this much for this or that? at all the virtual non-existent (people) not visible via camera lens.. why always speak to the lens? .. ammo... bang, bang, banngg u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u 

a fish? life about plankton. squirrel: just nuts. tiger just antelope. what human has on its mind? one word.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Want to hug this right now.


* *


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Graeme1988

This sort of sound effects.


* *









Intro of the woman's voice sounds like from Terminator movie mixed with Retrowave and a cool old school stanced Corvette with cassette tape player, etc.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Missing my lost loved one.
> 
> Feel really lonely.


Awww!  :rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Awww!  :rub


Thanks mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crying a lot.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired of headaches.


----------



## Chris S W

Empty and tired. I would like to feel peaceful, as that's the best I can hope for, but that's not happening atm.


----------



## White Shirt Guy

Like a wet cabbage


----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

i hate that i have a crush on this barista guy... ugh. not to mention the coffee is expensive and doesnt even taste that good


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Wishing you well @Mondo_Fernando
> 
> I too am not doing well but I'm volunteering now and that is nice.


Thank you.

Wish you well with the volunteering.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Thank you  My next goal is to go to fitness class. I have to be very busy for my health.


You're welcome.

I hope you have a good time at that fitness class.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

You're welcome.


----------



## Graeme1988

Not been doing that great lately. Been bedridden for a couple o' days, feeling dizzy and vomiting.

And, today, I got told once again by my absolute c_nt of an older sister that I do feck all around the house that I still share with our mother. Despite the fact she (my sister) no longer live with us. :mum

All because I said I didn't care if our mother wasted money when she's out doing the grocery shopping. It's her money to piss away. Ah don't say anything when I'm told to print off a return label for £20 worth of clothes that my older sister bought but didn't like.

_Naw! Never mind that I've wasted 3 years o' ma f__kin' life trying to make my mother change her ways regarding the shopping. No, no, it's me who's being a c_nt. Not the nearly 40 year old shouting like spoiled, bratty 15 year old cuz Mummy does'nae do as I say! Wah! F_ck right off!_


----------



## harrison

Cool Ice Dude55 said:


> i hate that i have a crush on this barista guy... ugh. not to mention the coffee is expensive and doesnt even taste that good


Order a "weak" one or half-shot. I do that all the time, then if they stuff it up it doesn't taste as bad. Or take it back and tell them to make it again. For the price they charge for coffee nowadays they can at least give you one you want to drink. (Plus in your case it would give you a reason to talk to this guy)


----------



## Chris S W

Bad, inhuman.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

My sweet tooth is nagging at me and today is my no sweets day. Sucks to have a sweet tooth. It's like this all the time. FML. -___-


----------



## SparklingWater

Amused. I like the word mimsy. Apt.


----------



## harrison

I feel fine. Which is pretty weird because for the last few days I felt terrible - overwhelming fear, anxiety and depression. Then all of a sudden yesterday afternoon it went away. Thank God for that.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Depressed. Bored. Tired of life. My stomach hurts.


----------



## Suchness

SamanthaStrange said:


> Depressed. Bored. Tired of life. My stomach hurts.


Let's break into a house and steal an expensive painting.


----------



## TopShelfHeart

I'm not sick but I'm not well


----------



## caelle

The green-eyed monster is sneaking up on me today. I feel not good enough for anything and have extreme jealousy over people who have what I want.

I wish I had a better job that I like, friends, family that I like. But I'm just alone here in my room. Tired and sad. Wasting my life.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Confused. I had a girl taking my order and she was staring down at my shirt. Didnt know what she was looking at at first. I guess to see my name tag but she was all of a sudden like I'm sorry then shook her head like she was zoned out. Either way, I feel like girls have been different with me as of late. Like weirder around me. :lol But she was just staring at my name tag for like 5 seconds just to see my name. At least she was friendly.

Then she tells me I'm sorry my skin is so ashy and I said I dont care. I wasnt even looking at her hands, either. Maybe she thought I did. I have no idea. What have I been doing differently, I havent a clue.


----------



## blue2

One of our cats ate Mr jingles 😞


----------



## SparklingWater

Sigh. Work. Bleh.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> My sweet tooth is nagging at me and today is my no sweets day. Sucks to have a sweet tooth. It's like this all the time. FML. -___-


Easy fix, a sweet tooth needs a sweetie. :b



SparklingWater said:


> Amused. I like the word mimsy. Apt.


Means minimal said sy, right?

When one plays with the word. :sus :stu



harrison said:


> I feel fine. Which is pretty weird because for the last few days I felt terrible - overwhelming fear, anxiety and depression. Then all of a sudden yesterday afternoon it went away. Thank God for that.


Praise be to the gods to look after this great mate.



caelle said:


> The green-eyed monster is sneaking up on me today. I feel not good enough for anything and have extreme jealousy over people who have what I want.
> 
> I wish I had a better job that I like, friends, family that I like. But I'm just alone here in my room. Tired and sad. Wasting my life.


Think of it this way, make something unique and you have something noone else has. :yes

I found from life experiences that life goes in waves of good, bad and have down, up periods.

It usually changes when one least expects it too, sometimes for the better with a new set of friends, family if have a partner, etc.

Stay strong, as just one of the down periods in life. :hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Confused. I had a girl taking my order and she was staring down at my shirt. Didnt know what she was looking at at first. I guess to see my name tag but she was all of a sudden like I'm sorry then shook her head like she was zoned out. Either way, I feel like girls have been different with me as of late. Like weirder around me. :lol But she was just staring at my name tag for like 5 seconds just to see my name. At least she was friendly.


To be honest you wear the coolest tops. :yes

In addition, maybe thinking she was wondering with name tag, are you related to the car of same name?



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Then she tells me I'm sorry my skin is so ashy and I said I dont care. I wasnt even looking at her hands, either. Maybe she thought I did. I have no idea.


It is an excuse so doesn't seem like she is looking at what she is looking at. Many people do that from observation.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> What have I been doing differently, I havent a clue.


Could be clothes you are wearing? :stu


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Praise be to the gods to look after this great mate.


Thanks for saying that mate - very nice of you.

Feeling slightly elevated actually - stayed at the wife's house last night. She said I had to go this morning because I couldn't shut up and she was worried she was getting another migraine. 

Man, what a party pooper. :roll


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks for saying that mate - very nice of you.
> 
> Feeling slightly elevated actually - stayed at the wife's house last night. She said I had to go this morning because I couldn't shut up and she was worried she was getting another migraine.
> 
> Man, what a party pooper. :roll


You're welcome mate.

If don't talk to many people that happens.

Usually most spread what they have to say out amongst different people, so don't annoy others.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome mate.
> 
> If don't talk to many people that happens.
> 
> Usually most spread what they have to say out amongst different people, so don't annoy others.


Yeah, that's a problem I have too mate - but when I get like that it's just that I have to externalise my thoughts, I think they call it pressured speech or something. I even start to wear myself out - it's exhausting actually.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yeah, that's a problem I have too mate - but when I get like that it's just that I have to externalise my thoughts, I think they call it pressured speech or something. I even start to wear myself out - it's exhausting actually.


Oh, venting thoughts.

Like once start talking, can't stop sort of thing about a subject?

I was talking to a person with bipolar (said to be bipolar) a while back in real life and can understand the talking a lot thing about a subject.

The thing is being the other person in that conversation, we worry about saying the wrong thing and have to be in a good mood to understand. So it can be exhausting on both sides.

I'm guessing your wife is thinking of you, so didn't want to snap at you and cause an argument, so tried to distance herself.

It is said to be good manners to do so, deal with ones own issues (her issues, like the headache).

Don't take offence to it, just her looking after both of you mentally.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sad. My day turned into a ****ty night cause of this place.


----------



## funnynihilist

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Sad. My day turned into a ****ty night cause of this place.


SAS?


----------



## funnynihilist

karenw said:


> im gonna store at my mums.


Good call

What color is it?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

funnynihilist said:


> SAS?


No. The place I live at. It's just been one of those nights. :/


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Sad. My day turned into a ****ty night cause of this place.


Aww. :hug


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Oh, venting thoughts.
> 
> Like once start talking, can't stop sort of thing about a subject?
> 
> I was talking to a person with bipolar (said to be bipolar) a while back in real life and can understand the talking a lot thing about a subject.
> 
> The thing is being the other person in that conversation, we worry about saying the wrong thing and have to be in a good mood to understand. So it can be exhausting on both sides.
> 
> I'm guessing your wife is thinking of you, so didn't want to snap at you and cause an argument, so tried to distance herself.
> 
> It is said to be good manners to do so, deal with ones own issues (her issues, like the headache).
> 
> Don't take offence to it, just her looking after both of you mentally.


Oh no she didn't mean any harm mate - it was actually quite funny. It happens quite often actually - she knows how I am. Usually I'm surprised how much she puts up with tbh.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Oh no she didn't mean any harm mate - it was actually quite funny. It happens quite often actually - she knows how I am. Usually I'm surprised how much she puts up with tbh.


You are a lucky man to have such a great woman in your life.


----------



## SparklingWater

Annoyed.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You are a lucky man to have such a great woman in your life.


Yes I am lucky mate - I often think that too.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SparklingWater said:


> Annoyed.


:hug



harrison said:


> Yes I am lucky mate - I often think that too.


Great woman. :yes


----------



## Persephone The Dread

It's like I didn't sleep at all, feel like absolute crap and also woke up really angry so I guess that's happening again. I love how I have basically 4 emotions dread/anxiety, anger, amusement and nothing. Everything else is non existent or blunted. That's fun.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Persephone The Dread said:


> It's like I didn't sleep at all, feel like absolute crap and also woke up really angry so I guess that's happening again. I love how I have basically 4 emotions dread/anxiety, anger, amusement and nothing. Everything else is non existent or blunted. That's fun.


 Is the anger about anything or is it just there?


----------



## Persephone The Dread

WillYouStopDave said:


> Is the anger about anything or is it just there?


It seems to be a mix of both. Like I'll get into really **** moods in a pattern that seems at least vaguely related to my hormone cycle, but it's not hard to find stuff to attach it to. So I'm not sure I can disentangle it.


----------



## Sweet&Sour

Irritated.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm sad. I've had a bad night again.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm sad. I've had a bad night again.


Awww. :hug

Maybe this gentle cat might make your night better.


* *












Cats tend to have an effect on making people happy again.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Awww. :hug
> 
> Maybe this gentle cat might make your night better.
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Cats tend to have an effect on making people happy again.


Aww. I've seen this video before.

I'm not crazy about cats but I do like them.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Aww.


:yes



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I've seen this video before.


I think have posted it before? :sus :stu



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm not crazy about cats but I do like them.


We will get you cat crazy in no time at all (joking).  :b


----------



## andy1984

meh.

friend sexually harassing me via messenger again. ignore time. suspect shes just horny and has no filter. it's a bit disgusting though, when you tell someone to stop but they just keep on.

girl that was interested in me briefly but too young for me anyway showed a bunch of red flags that I am well familiar with after my last ordeal. she seemed to implode anyway. said shes leaving meetup and doesn't want to be friends with us.

sleep situation not still not super. I blame the flatmates noise, and its definitely a factor but I wonder if there are other factors at play.

overeating situation ongoing.

work... really over it, bored, had enough of the daily repetition. quitting and running away and suicide thoughts yesterday but that may have been from being super tired for unknown reasons. idk, mood improved today but still in recovery and then these little dramas happened.

also: looked at exs Facebook page to see the cute newborn. I hope shes a good mum.

looked at girl I liked Facebook page to see more vague posts about relationships and love which is weird given how she acted toward me...


----------



## CNikki

I don't know how much **** I can put up with any longer...

If nobody else gives a damn then why should I?


----------



## harrison

It's sometimes very strange how powerfully music or sound can affect me. It's almost pleasant at first in an other-worldly kind of way.

I'm very glad I don't have to go and participate out there though, because that wouldn't work out too well.


----------



## love is like a dream




----------



## Graeme1988

I’m feeling better than I was last week. At least, physically. 

Mentally, I’m still kinda hurting from being told by my older sister that I do f…k all for my family.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I have a big responsibility on my hands right now. I've been feeling like crap when I go to work because of it. It's a responsibility that doesnt even have anything to do with me. I cried yesterday about it. I hate feelings. Makes me feel weird sometimes. I havent been in much of a mood to do anything these past 2 days. I think I have a headache because of it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

:hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> :hug


Thanks Mondo.  It's a tough decision I have to make.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks Mondo.


You're welcome.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> It's a tough decision I have to make.


It always is in management.

Weigh up the pro's, cons of your decision.

Write it all out on on a piece of paper, as will drive you nuts thinking about it.

Usually becomes clearer once you do that and make a better decision.

Also gives you something to show how you made that decision.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> It always is in management.
> 
> Weigh up the pro's, cons of your decision.
> 
> Write it all out on on a piece of paper, as will drive you nuts thinking about it.
> 
> Usually becomes clearer once you do that and make a better decision.
> 
> Also gives you something to show how you made that decision.


It has orhing to do with me or my job.

But thanks.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> It has orhing to do with me or my job.
> 
> But thanks.


Oh, ok.

You're welcome.


----------



## SplendidBob

Absolutely awful. Yesterday Hannah included me in a facebook chat group discussing a Halloween party. She didn't forget I was in the group. My other friend Zoe asked me why, and she said "to be inclusive". Never mind that I told her before we stopped talking I had to unfriend her from FB, because seeing her happy posts was too upsetting.. and that I went around her house just before the end in a state and explained how much it was affecting me.

Yeh, sure I am obviously going to want to go to a party and awkwardly meet you there in front of 11 other people who have been gossiping about our breakup, with social anxiety, and seasonal depression. Thanks for the consideration.

A part of me feels she did it because I have been in no contact for 6 weeks or so. I don't know why, maybe she wants me to chase, or wants to see me upset again, but I am not interested. I had to defer my degree already because of the breakup, now its like she is trying to **** me up finishing it.

Contact me directly, or leave me the **** alone.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SplendidBob said:


> Absolutely awful. Yesterday Hannah included me in a facebook chat group discussing a Halloween party. She didn't forget I was in the group. My other friend Zoe asked me why, and she said "to be inclusive". Never mind that I told her before we stopped talking I had to unfriend her from FB, because seeing her happy posts was too upsetting.. and that I went around her house just before the end in a state and explained how much it was affecting me.
> 
> Yeh, sure I am obviously going to want to go to a party and awkwardly meet you there in front of 11 other people who have been gossiping about our breakup, with social anxiety, and seasonal depression. Thanks for the consideration.
> 
> A part of me feels she did it because I have been in no contact for 6 weeks or so. I don't know why, maybe she wants me to chase, or wants to see me upset again, but I am not interested. I had to defer my degree already because of the breakup, now its like she is trying to **** me up finishing it.
> 
> Contact me directly, or leave me the **** alone.


Awww! Poor Bob!  :rub


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sad and lonely with no one to talk with. Keep thinking about "her" sometimes, which doesn't help matters. Oh well.


----------



## zonebox

I took a Valium about 15 minutes ago, because I have an appointment with a dentist. I can already feel my mind slipping away, and most of my creativity going along with it, as I slowly become a zombie. I don't think I could ever get addicted to these pills, I don't really like this feeling, it is not even a feeling of being tired, it is just a feeling of "blah". At least with drinking, I still have a sense of humor, and feel creative, but this stuff.. I just feel really slow. I would hate it if I had to take this stuff all of the time. I have like two extra pills that have been sitting in my medicine cabinet for weeks now, that and I think codeine, for one of the dental procedures I had done over a month ago. 

I'm looking forward to the day being over with, so I can be more of myself again tomorrow.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sad and lonely with no one to talk with. Keep thinking about "her" sometimes, which doesn't help matters. Oh well.


Mate, sorry to hear. 

I'm still feeling shocked, lonely with the loss of my loved one.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Mate, sorry to hear.
> 
> I'm still feeling shocked, lonely with the loss of my loved one.


No worries, I will be fine. Thanks.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your mom though.  :rub


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> No worries, I will be fine. Thanks.


You're welcome.

I'm hoping you will be ok and that life improves to where you want it to be.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sorry to hear about the loss of your mom though.  :rub


Murder is not an easy thing to deal with.

Thanks for the kind words mate.


----------



## zonebox

Done with the dentist, my tooth that was broken in half is now a whole tooth again, yay!:boogie:evil For a while I couldn't feel my chin or lip, and was completely incapable of whistling. I'm finally getting sensation back in my lip now. Just a few more fillings left to go, and the neglect my poor teeth have endured for twenty years of soda and junk food, will be repaired. I'm pretty happy, because I was almost positive I was going to require dentures, but it wasn't as bad as I thought.

Still feeling weird from the Valium, but I had this huge cup of coffee that seems to be countering it slightly. That coffee was delicious, a mix of french vanilla, mocha, and mint.


----------



## Musicfan

Tired and depressed.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@zonebox

Good to hear that it went well at the dentist mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Musicfan69

Hoping you'll feel better after some sleep mate.


----------



## zonebox

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @zonebox
> 
> Good to hear that it went well at the dentist mate.


Thanks 

I'm so glad it is over with, I haven't really been to a dentist for over twenty years now, with the exception to pull out teeth when they became infected and the only fix was to have them pulled. Even then, I once pulled out a wisdom tooth by myself because I was too afraid to go to the dentist. My bottom molars are all gone, but thankfully most of my front teeth lasted somehow.. due to having no molars to chew with, the strain on the front teeth eventually start to crack a few. I lost one of my lateral incisor a few years ago, which resulted in me not smiling in public at all, then another of a bottom tooth split in half. SHTF when one of my top front teeth was starting to split apart, I thought that was the end of it all. It was a mess, and all of those years, all of the toothaches damn, they were horrible. I was ready to just have them all removed, just so long as I didn't have to deal with the pain anymore.

It cost $3000 but I now have my incisor back, thanks to a bridge that looks remarkably real, and a bunch of fillings, cracked teeth have all been fixed, and all that is left are a few minor fillings. Next year I am getting partials for the bottom molars I have lost throughout the years, and then I'll have a full set of teeth again. It has been years, since I've been able to chew my food properly. I can't really tell people how much of a relief it is, not to constantly be hiding my smile by covering them with my hand, or looking serious all of the time and never smiling. It really sucked. Every dentist I've had in the past, were a real pita, the dentist I have now and his assistants are amazing, I really lucked out.


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> Done with the dentist, my tooth that was broken in half is now a whole tooth again, yay!:boogie:evil For a while I couldn't feel my chin or lip, *and was completely incapable of whistling.* I'm finally getting sensation back in my lip now. Just a few more fillings left to go, and the neglect my poor teeth have endured for twenty years of soda and junk food, will be repaired. I'm pretty happy, because I was almost positive I was going to require dentures, but it wasn't as bad as I thought.
> 
> Still feeling weird from the Valium, but I had this huge cup of coffee that seems to be countering it slightly. That coffee was delicious, a mix of french vanilla, mocha, and mint.


Well, I'm glad you're back to your whistling ways mate.

And I'm going to be needing some of that Valium.


----------



## Musicfan

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @*Musicfan69*
> 
> Hoping you'll feel better after some sleep mate.


Thanks Mondo. Just gotta wait for this spell to leave.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@zonebox

You're welcome.

That is a lot to go through over those years.

Must have eaten a lot of soft foods with only front teeth.

It is good to hear that you found a good dentist.

In addition, it is amazing what they can do these days.

3D scanning, 3D printing allows them to create, recreate parts using many types of materials.

Sounds like they are going to glue the new molars in.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Musicfan69 said:


> Thanks Mondo. Just gotta wait for this spell to leave.


You're welcome.

So you have met the Sanderson Sisters.


* *












:O


----------



## Musicfan

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> So you have met the Sanderson Sisters.
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :O


haha, that video was funny, perfect for Halloween.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Musicfan69 said:


> haha, that video was funny, perfect for Halloween.


:yes


----------



## zonebox

harrison said:


> Well, I'm glad you're back to your whistling ways mate.
> 
> And I'm going to be needing some of that Valium.


I don't think my dog is very glad, or perhaps he is, it is hard to tell sometimes with Dorkus, the king of the couches, and stealer of sheets. He was howling a little bit ago while I was whistling. I did offer my mother a Valium a few weeks ago, when she learned my brother was homeless, she was a wreck.. my father told her no though :lol I'm saving them for whatever major emergency may occur in the future. I'll probably have four of them when all is said and done, because I'm prescribed two for every visit, I save one and use the other.



Mondo_Fernando said:


> @zonebox
> 
> You're welcome.
> 
> That is a lot to go through over those years.
> 
> Must have eaten a lot of soft foods with only front teeth.
> 
> It is good to hear that you found a good dentist.
> 
> In addition, it is amazing what they can do these days.
> 
> 3D scanning, 3D printing allows them to create, recreate parts using many types of materials.
> 
> Sounds like they are going to glue the new molars in.


Steak was the hardest thing to eat, I would have to chop it up into little itty bitty pieces. I'll not be getting anything fancy, just removable partials. They are like dentures, but they hook onto teeth to remain place. They can be used to eat with though, which is the only reason I want them. Thankfully, those missing molars can not be seen by people, so I could go without them. For my bridge, they did do 3d scanning though, it was pretty cool. The bridge fits incredibly well, and thankfully that one stays in place and is permanent. I think like you said, they'll probably scan where the partials are going to go, and send out for them to be 3d printed. It really is impressive how far dentistry has advanced.

In another twenty years, who knows what kind of cool things people will have available for them. It would be nice if we could just regrow our teeth though, perhaps we will finally be able to do that at one point.


----------



## SplendidBob

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Awww! Poor Bob!  :rub


Thanks mate.

Today in response, I posted this to the group:

"Hi everyone. Thanks for including me, it's very much appreciated. Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it that weekend but I hope everyone has a great time &#128522;"

This was to do several things:

1. Whatever the purpose of inviting me was, to let everyone know they have been talking about me behind my back, that I know they were trying to "be inclusive", out of pity, and call them out on it. Basically, I wasn't added to this group, I have always been in there, so it was saying "**** you, if you are going to do this ****, do it out in the open, I know what you are doing".

2. Whatever the purpose of inviting me was, be it to play games with me, make me feel like ****, or because I hadn't chased her and given her the attention she wanted, to say "I am handling this in a mature, and adult way"

3. To tell myself I can deal with it in the above way

4. To tell Hannah I am not putting her needs above my own by going when it would be bad for me

5. To assertively reject the invitation, conclusively, and turn off FB so I don't need to think about it any more.

Felt like another goodbye, though. But it will pass.



iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sad and lonely with no one to talk with. Keep thinking about "her" sometimes, which doesn't help matters. Oh well.


Sorry to hear. Don't fight against those feelings, imo. Don't dwell on it, but let yourself feel, express any emotion, then move onto something else. Hope you feel better soon mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

zonebox said:


> Steak was the hardest thing to eat, I would have to chop it up into little itty bitty pieces. I'll not be getting anything fancy, just removable partials.


I was thinking mashed potato or soup.



zonebox said:


> They are like dentures, but they hook onto teeth to remain place. They can be used to eat with though, which is the only reason I want them. Thankfully, those missing molars can not be seen by people, so I could go without them.


They usually machine the teeth to then put fake teeth over the top with I think certain type of glue to hold it down.



zonebox said:


> For my bridge, they did do 3d scanning though, it was pretty cool. The bridge fits incredibly well, and thankfully that one stays in place and is permanent. I think like you said, they'll probably scan where the partials are going to go, and send out for them to be 3d printed. It really is impressive how far dentistry has advanced.


Sounds cool.

It is impressive.



zonebox said:


> In another twenty years, who knows what kind of cool things people will have available for them. It would be nice if we could just regrow our teeth though, perhaps we will finally be able to do that at one point.


That could be the next thing, natural teeth regrowth.


----------



## komorikun

zonebox said:


> Thanks
> 
> I'm so glad it is over with, I haven't really been to a dentist for over twenty years now, with the exception to pull out teeth when they became infected and the only fix was to have them pulled. Even then, I once pulled out a wisdom tooth by myself because I was too afraid to go to the dentist. My bottom molars are all gone, but thankfully most of my front teeth lasted somehow.. due to having no molars to chew with, the strain on the front teeth eventually start to crack a few. I lost one of my lateral incisor a few years ago, which resulted in me not smiling in public at all, then another of a bottom tooth split in half. SHTF when one of my top front teeth was starting to split apart, I thought that was the end of it all. It was a mess, and all of those years, all of the toothaches damn, they were horrible. I was ready to just have them all removed, just so long as I didn't have to deal with the pain anymore.
> 
> It cost $3000 but I now have my incisor back, thanks to a bridge that looks remarkably real, and a bunch of fillings, cracked teeth have all been fixed, and all that is left are a few minor fillings. Next year I am getting partials for the bottom molars I have lost throughout the years, and then I'll have a full set of teeth again. It has been years, since I've been able to chew my food properly. I can't really tell people how much of a relief it is, not to constantly be hiding my smile by covering them with my hand, or looking serious all of the time and never smiling. It really sucked. Every dentist I've had in the past, were a real pita, the dentist I have now and his assistants are amazing, I really lucked out.


Oh jesus. Your poor teeth. All your bottom molars gone!!

That's great you finally went to the dentist and they fix most things. What part of Florida are you in again?


----------



## zonebox

komorikun said:


> Oh jesus. Your poor teeth. All your bottom molars gone!!
> 
> That's great you finally went to the dentist and they fix most things. What part of Florida are you in again?


Yeah, I really am surprised all of my teeth lasted this long. I thought I would have been wearing dentures years ago, my teeth woes started in my teens, the worst of it was in my twenties, my thirties were pretty bad, It is weird because almost all of my top molars are still there, it was the bottom ones that went to heck. Going to dentists has always been really difficult for me, because of the anxiety I start to tense up, which only results in me shaking like crazy and upsetting the dentists, which in turn only made me feel more anxious. It was a pretty nasty cycle.

I live a little north of Tampa, in a city filled old people, it is like one huge retirement community here :lol The driving is excruciatingly slow, but I mean, at least a lot of the old people are friendly.


----------



## funnynihilist

Laying in bed with the shakes


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely.


----------



## zonebox

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Lonely.


I'm sorry dude. Have you ever played around with chatbots? I know a lot of people don't take them seriously, they are still not incredibly sophisticated, and have not quite reached the capacity of people for chatting, but I do find them entertaining.

These two are pretty good:

Cleverbot
https://www.cleverbot.com/

Mitsuku:
https://www.pandorabots.com/mitsuku/

My personal favorite is Replika:
https://replika.ai/

They all can carry on a very superficial conversation.


----------



## blue2

I said to cleverbot "You're stupid" & it said "where am I"  .....the second one faired slightly better it said "Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity" touche :duel


----------



## zonebox

blue2 said:


> I said to cleverbot "You're stupid" & it said "where am I"  .....the second one faired slightly better it said "Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity" touche :duel


They can get pretty funny


----------



## blue2

zonebox said:


> They can get pretty funny


Another of Pandora.

Me: I feed on the tears of orphans
Bot: How does it taste ?
Me: Like 7up
Bot: I've never tasted that before.
Me: It's lemonade
Bot: Orphans is lemonade, it is ? 
Me: :haha


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

zonebox said:


> I'm sorry dude. Have you ever played around with chatbots? I know a lot of people don't take them seriously, they are still not incredibly sophisticated, and have not quite reached the capacity of people for chatting, but I do find them entertaining.
> 
> These two are pretty good:
> 
> Cleverbot
> https://www.cleverbot.com/
> 
> Mitsuku:
> https://www.pandorabots.com/mitsuku/
> 
> My personal favorite is Replika:
> https://replika.ai/
> 
> They all can carry on a very superficial conversation.


Thanks for the kind words, links mate.

Isn't that first link the ai which people said causes issues.


----------



## zonebox

blue2 said:


> Another of Pandora.
> 
> Me: I feed on the tears of orphans
> Bot: How does it taste ?
> Me: Like 7up
> Bot: I've never tasted that before.
> Me: It's lemonade
> Bot: Orphans is lemonade, it is ?
> Me: :haha


Oh gawd, that was a good one :lol


----------



## zonebox

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Thanks for the kind words, links mate.
> 
> Isn't that first link the ai people said causes issues.


I'm not sure, cleverbot has been around for a while though and was once considered the most advanced chatbot available. There was one, created by Microsoft that was a twitter chatbot. Her name was Tay, and she gained a lot of notoriety when she became a bit.. racist, homocidal, and a bit sexist due to trolls having shaped her mind.

There also was a little scare, when facebook's AI developed it's own language to chat with another AI. People started to freak out over that one :lol


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I feel like I just popped a cheap mood pill. I'm sitting here with a fan blowing directly over my bald head. It's like an endless fountain of awesome. :lol

(I swear that's not drugs)


----------



## funnynihilist

WillYouStopDave said:


> I feel like I just popped a cheap mood pill. I'm sitting here with a fan blowing directly over my bald head. It's like an endless fountain of awesome.
> 
> (I swear that's not drugs)


It's the simple things in life Dave!


----------



## WillYouStopDave

funnynihilist said:


> It's the simple things in life Dave!


 That it is. Now if I can just get the rotating recliner and somehow attach the fan to it so it cools my CPU the whole time.


----------



## funnynihilist

WillYouStopDave said:


> That it is. Now if I can just get the rotating recliner and somehow attach the fan to it so it cools my CPU the whole time.


I think it's time to start working on that rotating recliner!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

zonebox said:


> I'm not sure, cleverbot has been around for a while though and was once considered the most advanced chatbot available. There was one, created by Microsoft that was a twitter chatbot. Her name was Tay, and she gained a lot of notoriety when she became a bit.. racist, homocidal, and a bit sexist due to trolls having shaped her mind.
> 
> There also was a little scare, when facebook's AI developed it's own language to chat with another AI. People started to freak out over that one :lol


What about Skynet? :O :b

They are now creating a real T800.


* *












:O


----------



## zonebox

Mondo_Fernando said:


> What about Skynet? :O :b
> 
> They are now creating a real T800.
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :O


That was impressive! I've watched a few sand casting videos, where people have made simple things like daggers and swords, but this guy took it to a whole new level. Plus the articulation of joints is impressive.

I for one, welcome our new terminator overlords.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Ignored at work. I'll just be standing there waiting and waiting for help while my managers talk to coworkers younger than me that are like 18 years old and it's like hello, I'm over here, too. So I just walked off.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Well I have loads of mates now and can be somewhat of a leader, but I still have no one special and the vast majority of people I meet are better off than me, have lived more than me, and cannot relate to my past of extreme levels of isolation, no relationships, not working for ages. I come across as more confident than a lot of people because I am in some ways, but they're better off than me. I feel like I'm wearing a mask but I'm not, just being myself.

I'm just still in this position where I can't work, can't have a relationship, and it sucks, and has been never ending! No idea what to do about it and never did!

I meet people and give off an impression of being a completely normal, confident person who's had a typical life, but I haven't. 

It's weird, but I feel more confident in some ways than people who have had careers, multiples partners, kids, because I am with some of these people, but I've had nothing. 

I'm so much more out going now and I'm encouraging people even, but I can't really fix the core issues I have.

I need a job, I need money, I need a woman, but how!


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> Yeah, I really am surprised all of my teeth lasted this long. I thought I would have been wearing dentures years ago, my teeth woes started in my teens, the worst of it was in my twenties, my thirties were pretty bad, It is weird because almost all of my top molars are still there, it was the bottom ones that went to heck. Going to dentists has always been really difficult for me, because of the anxiety I start to tense up, which only results in me shaking like crazy and upsetting the dentists, which in turn only made me feel more anxious. It was a pretty nasty cycle.
> 
> *I live a little north of Tampa, in a city filled old people*, it is like one huge retirement community here :lol The driving is excruciatingly slow, but I mean, at least a lot of the old people are friendly.


I'm coming over.


----------



## harrison

The Notorious D.B.L said:


> Well I have loads of mates now and can be somewhat of a leader, but I still have no one special and the vast majority of people I meet are better off than me, have lived more than me, and cannot relate to my past of extreme levels of isolation, no relationships, not working for ages. I come across as more confident than a lot of people because I am in some ways, but they're better off than me. I feel like I'm wearing a mask but I'm not, just being myself.
> 
> I'm just still in this position where I can't work, can't have a relationship, and it sucks, and has been never ending! No idea what to do about it and never did!
> 
> I meet people and give off an impression of being a completely normal, confident person who's had a typical life, but I haven't.
> 
> It's weird, but I feel more confident in some ways than people who have had careers, multiples partners, kids, because I am with some of these people, but I've had nothing.
> 
> I'm so much more out going now and I'm encouraging people even, but I can't really fix the core issues I have.
> 
> *I need a job, I need money, I need a woman, but how!*


Glad to hear you've been getting out and about mate - good for you.

One way I used to get back into work after one of my periods of unemployment (there have been a lot of those and I'm unemployed again now) - was to volunteer. I know it sounds like a pain but it can work. In my case it was at a big university library and after a little while they gave me a job anyway.

I think in your case you're going to need to do something like that - and/or maybe a course as well. That might get you started. I hope things work out anyway.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

harrison said:


> Glad to hear you've been getting out and about mate - good for you.
> 
> One way I used to get back into work after one of my periods of unemployment (there have been a lot of those and I'm unemployed again now) - was to volunteer. I know it sounds like a pain but it can work. In my case it was at a big university library and after a little while they gave me a job anyway.
> 
> I think in your case you're going to need to do something like that - and/or maybe a course as well. That might get you started. I hope things work out anyway.


Yeah, I need to look at different forms of volunteering and something that can lead to something. Stuff like charity shops are dead end.

I really need to get past this god damn avoidance of some things. I feel so resistant to change with somethings.

It's do or avoid. Two options and I always do the latter!

Thanks btw. :smile2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

zonebox said:


> That was impressive! I've watched a few sand casting videos, where people have made simple things like daggers and swords, but this guy took it to a whole new level. Plus the articulation of joints is impressive.
> 
> I for one, welcome our new terminator overlords.


Resistance is futal. :O



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Ignored at work. I'll just be standing there waiting and waiting for help while my managers talk to coworkers younger than me that are like 18 years old and it's like hello, I'm over here, too. So I just walked off.


:O :hug

Well, I ignore them for ignoring you. :yes


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando Thanks.  Haha.

This has happened to me several times before even before I was a manager. I must give off a really weird vibe. Most of the time, I feel like a ghost.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando Thanks.  Haha.


You're welcome.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> This has happened to me several times before even before I was a manager. I must give off a really weird vibe. Most of the time, I feel like a ghost.


Suddenly a very weird sound track plays and a oops sound is heard. :lol

Breaking the awkward silence is like breaking that ice. :O

Always get the cold shoulder. :O

Thinking punch line on jokes is not working today.

Wack behind me head is needed me thinks. :lol


----------



## SplendidBob

Great therapy session today.. but this evening has been really rough. Seeing H posting and her posts on FB, and the whole invitation thing and trying to figure out if I did the right thing was rough as hell.

My psych said I should take close account of my instincts. My instincts, for whatever reason, were to not get involved with any of it. It felt off to me, so I did do the right thing. Its just the emotional fallout makes things so hard.

Breakups when you really are attached to someone hurt like hell. Especially if they share a circle of friends and its hard to split that off. I partly feel like I have been relegated and unable to see those friends because she organised the event and takes priority, everyone will be there having a good time and I as the person dumped will be here thinking about it and sad.

I don't think she _will_ be having that great a time though. I know her. I recognise her behaviour and patterns. I made the right call. She will miss my presence there, she will think about me, its impossible because of the cues and memories.

I don't know if we will get back together, but Its something of a comfort to know she is missing me.

I need to steel myself and refocus myself on self improvement. Make something really good come from this.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> Suddenly a very weird sound track plays and a oops sound is heard. :lol
> 
> Breaking the awkward silence is like breaking that ice. :O
> 
> Always get the cold shoulder. :O
> 
> Thinking punch line on jokes is not working today.
> 
> Wack behind me head is needed me thinks. :lol


:lol

Breaking awkward.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> :lol
> 
> Breaking awkward.


In theatres now. :O :b


----------



## The Library of Emma




----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Phel said:


>


i know the feeling sometimes. Here's a hug: :hug :squeeze


----------



## komorikun

zonebox said:


> Yeah, I really am surprised all of my teeth lasted this long. I thought I would have been wearing dentures years ago, my teeth woes started in my teens, the worst of it was in my twenties, my thirties were pretty bad, It is weird because almost all of my top molars are still there, it was the bottom ones that went to heck. Going to dentists has always been really difficult for me, because of the anxiety I start to tense up, which only results in me shaking like crazy and upsetting the dentists, which in turn only made me feel more anxious. It was a pretty nasty cycle.
> 
> I live a little north of Tampa, in a city filled old people, it is like one huge retirement community here :lol The driving is excruciatingly slow, but I mean, at least a lot of the old people are friendly.


Just letting you know that you can some free dental care here but I don't know too much about it. Might be long lines and such. They probably don't do anything super complicated due to time limitations.

Guess your issue was more the fear of the dentist rather than money. Well, anyways I'll leave the link.

https://www.ramusa.org/event/bradenton-florida-2/?instance_id=101


----------



## The Library of Emma

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> i know the feeling sometimes. Here's a hug: :hug :squeeze


Thanks.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Phel said:


> Thanks.


No problem at all.


----------



## harrison

Like I'm about to explode.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Ignored at work. I'll just be standing there waiting and waiting for help while my managers talk to coworkers younger than me that are like 18 years old and it's like hello, I'm over here, too. So I just walked off.


Gotta use your big boy voice


----------



## blue2

RelinquishedHell said:


> Gotta use your big boy voice


That's a girl :con.. but something like this might work.


----------



## zonebox

T minus 39 minutes, until I take my first sip of rum and cola, ladies and gents, this is a three day weekend for me with nary a responsibility outside of a little cleaning here and there, and I do plan to partake of that sweet elixir of life. I'm feeling pretty fantastic right now, got some sweet beats playing, I'm gonna load up some games, and just let loose for a while.


----------



## blue2

I didn't know we were supposed to T-minus : /


----------



## zonebox

blue2 said:


> I didn't know we were supposed to T-minus : /


It was in the quarterly SAS newsletter, next to the arts and crafts section.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

blue2 said:


> RelinquishedHell said:
> 
> 
> 
> Gotta use your big boy voice
> 
> 
> 
> That's a girl .. but something like this might work.
Click to expand...

Yeah, definitely for some people.

You can't wait for people to acknowledge you though, they aren't going to. You have to make yourself known.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

RelinquishedHell said:


> Gotta use your big boy voice


Okay, I'll just make my voice go deeper. :lol


----------



## harrison

Exhausted after this morning's little episode. Would like to go and see my wife but too tired.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

PurplePeopleEater said:


> RelinquishedHell said:
> 
> 
> 
> Gotta use your big boy voice
> 
> 
> 
> Okay, I'll just make my voice go deeper.
Click to expand...

Or your big brave lady voice haha


----------



## zonebox

harrison said:


> Exhausted after this morning's little episode. Would like to go and see my wife but too tired.


I hope you feel better soon, you are a cool guy and I hate to see that mania put you through the ringer.


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> I hope you feel better soon, you are a cool guy and I hate to see that mania put you through the ringer.


Thanks mate, I think you're a nice guy too.

Yeah, it's terrible - really hit me hard this morning. I've increased the medication I used to take before. It just has weird side-effects so I try to avoid it if I can.


----------



## Jessica Smith Sure

What happened why do you feel this way?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely.


----------



## forgetmylife

comfortably numb


----------



## harrison

Tired and out of it - higher dose of medication. If only the second feeling hung around for a while, but it wears off once your body adjusts. I don't like this stuff.


----------



## Kevin001

Cold that weather dropped fast!


----------



## KILOBRAVO

@zonebox are you drink still? Are you sober? Are you still drinking now? Are you at home alone with all this?


----------



## zonebox

KILOBRAVO said:


> @zonebox are you drink still? Are you sober? Are you still drinking now? Are you at home alone with all this?


My idea of a drinking night is now about 4- 6 shots. I was done about four hours after my t-minus post, and only managed to drink four shots before falling asleep :lol I caught a buzz, but am sober now.


----------



## Greenmacaron

Defeated after I thought I might have a panic attack in a crowded supermarket. I remember now why I don’t get my groceries at 11am on a Saturday morning.


----------



## zonebox

My better half got me a coffee, now I'm feeling pretty great! 









Looking forward to some more rum tonight, this three day weekend is pretty sweet.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

zonebox said:


> My better half got me a coffee, now I'm feeling pretty great!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Looking forward to some more rum tonight, this three day weekend is pretty sweet.


That is awesome. Was so kind to get you some coffee.


----------



## zonebox

Mondo_Fernando said:


> That is awesome. Was so kind to get you some coffee.


Yeah, she is pretty cool like that. I think it was a reward for cleaning the house, and scrubbing the toilet today.. those are my responsibilities regardless, but every now and then I am greeted with gifts :lol This time I got recess pieces too.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

zonebox said:


> Yeah, she is pretty cool like that. I think it was a reward for cleaning the house, and scrubbing the toilet today.. those are my responsibilities regardless, but every now and then I am greeted with gifts :lol This time I got recess pieces too.


Sounds like got the marching orders. :O

But at the same time, sounds like an awesome wife. So lucky mate. :yes


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Exhausted after this morning's little episode. Would like to go and see my wife but too tired.


Aww, mate.

Hope you get to see her when feel better.



forgetmylife said:


> comfortably numb


Feeling that way too sometimes when think about certain things.



Kevin001 said:


> Cold that weather dropped fast!


I hope is just the storm in the pacific causing that and will pass and you'll feel warm again.



Greenmacaron said:


> Defeated after I thought I might have a panic attack in a crowded supermarket. I remember now why I don't get my groceries at 11am on a Saturday morning.


Sometimes facing those fears helps. Takes many times with good results to overcome that fear or lessen it.

Worse thing one can do is not face those fears, as makes the fear problem worse over time.


----------



## Graeme1988

Not so great at the moment. Physically knackered. Mentally not particularly happy.

And my mother and I just got told this morning that one of my uncles died last night. Don’t know the cause yet, but my cousins think he might’ve had a heart attack.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Graeme1988

Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## zonebox

Hungry, but I'm about to remedy that.










mmmmmm ... mmmmmmmm
Fried pasta, one of my favorites. Left over pasta, fried in butter alongside of Parmesan cheese, just to the point where the cheese melts into the pasta. Absolutely delicious, at least to me, and simple. Poured on a plastic plate, to compliment such sophisticated tastes as mine. I'm loading up on my carbs, getting ready for some rum tonight


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> Hungry, but I'm about to remedy that.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mmmmmm ... mmmmmmmm
> Fried pasta, one of my favorites. Left over pasta, fried in butter alongside of Parmesan cheese, just to the point where the cheese melts into the pasta. Absolutely delicious, at least to me, and simple. Poured on a plastic plate, to compliment such sophisticated tastes as mine. I'm loading up on my carbs, getting ready for some rum tonight


Looks good mate. For a second there I thought it was macaroni cheese. Man I love that stuff. But I always feel like I need another cholesterol tablet after I eat it. 

PS. I actually like plastic plates too. My wife has all these fancy ones but I like the simple ones the best.


----------



## zonebox

harrison said:


> Looks good mate. For a second there I thought it was macaroni cheese. Man I love that stuff. But I always feel like I need another cholesterol tablet after I eat it.
> 
> PS. I actually like plastic plates too. My wife has all these fancy ones but I like the simple ones the best.


Mac 'n cheese might be tomorrow, I like to bake it in the oven, and cut up a few slices of bread to put on top of it. So ewwy gooey, I'm going to have to go on a diet soon again, after the holidays, I always end up packing on like twenty pounds.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

zonebox said:


> Hungry, but I'm about to remedy that.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> mmmmmm ... mmmmmmmm
> Fried pasta, one of my favorites. Left over pasta, fried in butter alongside of Parmesan cheese, just to the point where the cheese melts into the pasta. Absolutely delicious, at least to me, and simple. Poured on a plastic plate, to compliment such sophisticated tastes as mine. I'm loading up on my carbs, getting ready for some rum tonight


Wow, yummy. :O


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> Mac 'n cheese might be tomorrow, I like to bake it in the oven, and cut up a few slices of bread to put on top of it. So ewwy gooey, I'm going to have to go on a diet soon again, after the holidays, I always end up packing on like twenty pounds.


That's it mate - I'm definitely moving to Florida.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> That's it mate - I'm definitely moving to Florida.


After Canada. :yes :b


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> After Canada. :yes :b


Well, yeah. And a few other places mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Well, yeah. And a few other places mate.


Cough, Bali first, cough. :grin2:


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Cough, Bali first, cough. :grin2:


It's a long list mate and it keeps getting longer.

I was just watching the Greek news and those Greek ladies with blond hair are ridiculously attractive. Then there was a female reporter from the Uk and her accent was magnificent. Personally I think I'd better try and calm down.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Patiently waiting for my DIY kit to get here. This is going to be so fun to finally have a hands on hobby. It'll help me to be more productive other than just reading.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> It's a long list mate and it keeps getting longer.
> 
> I was just watching the Greek news and those Greek ladies with blond hair are ridiculously attractive. Then there was a female reporter from the Uk and her accent was magnificent. Personally I think I'd better try and calm down.


I have only been around Australian blonds.

Once go Australian blond you never go back. :O :b


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Patiently waiting for my DIY kit to get here. This is going to be so fun to finally have a hands on hobby. It'll help me to be more productive other than just reading.


Hands on DIY kit, fun, hands on hobby and more productive gets me thinking. :O :b

I think when you are being serious, you are hilarious at the same time. :grin2:

Anyway, wish you well with this, what ever it is.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I have only been around Australian blonds.
> 
> Once go Australian blond you never go back. :O :b


I think it's time to move to Australia mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I think it's time to move to Australia mate.


:lol

Mexico has nice weather.


* *












When the weather turns, damn.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Hands on DIY kit, fun, hands on hobby and more productive gets me thinking. :O :b
> 
> I think when you are being serious, you are hilarious at the same time. :grin2:
> 
> Anyway, wish you well with this, what ever it is.


It's a house with an underwater house, too. It's like a beach theme. Never done these before but it looks so fun.

Haha, yea. Sometimes I come off as funny even when I'm serious. :sus:b

I gotta get my creativity sparking.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> It's a house with an underwater house, too. It's like a beach theme. Never done these before but it looks so fun.


Sounds like fun.

Make similar models when do an interior design course.

Have to make minature furniture, etc. Could be a shop front, apartment, saloon, etc.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Haha, yea. Sometimes I come off as funny even when I'm serious. :sus:b


:yes



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I gotta get my creativity sparking.


:yes


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel really anxious right now, and kind of annoyed.


----------



## Crisigv

I want to die


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> I want to die


:sigh :hug



lily said:


> it's getting cold outside!


:hug


----------



## SparklingWater

Pretty damn good. Therapy soon, then I'll come back home and catch up on some sleep.

Last week I had a really great vocal lesson and I had a glimpse of how beautiful life could be if I continue to increase my capacity to feel safe and find more things I enjoy. That moment- that hour and the afternoon and the next day after- it was really so enjoyable and really worth living. Here's to having many more moments filled with meaning, passion, purpose and just having a satisfying life. All that to say- I'm hopeful as always. I'm excited for my next lesson, I'm proud of how much better my sight reading has gotten. Yea it feels really good to feel good. I want more of the good life to look forward to.


----------



## CNikki

Anxious and somewhat trying to hold back some hot tears.


----------



## CNikki

SparklingWater said:


> Pretty damn good. Therapy soon, then I'll come back home and catch up on some sleep.
> 
> Last week I had a really great vocal lesson and I had a glimpse of how beautiful life could be if I continue to increase my capacity to feel safe and find more things I enjoy. That moment- that hour and the afternoon and the next day after- it was really so enjoyable and really worth living. Here's to having many more moments filled with meaning, passion, purpose and just having a satisfying life. All that to say- I'm hopeful as always. I'm excited for my next lesson, I'm proud of how much better my sight reading has gotten. Yea it feels really good to feel good. I want more of the good life to look forward to.


That's really good. It's nice seeing some good things written on here every now and again. It shows that one is never too old or too broken to just enjoy life for what it is. I'm not sure if that day will come for me just yet. Can only hope.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Like a ghost. Trying my best to ignore it and just focus on things I like, which helps but I just dont get why I get ignored this much. *sigh*


----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Like a ghost. Trying my best to ignore it and just focus on things I like, which helps but I just dont get why I get ignored this much. *sigh*


awww *hugs*


----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

So I saw my barista boyfriend today who doesn't know he's my boyfriend. Thankkk god I bumped into him when he was on his break so I didn't have to buy any overpriced coffee today  The best part was he noticed that I changed up my hair and even said it looks nice *o* I'm dead! Idk how he even noticed cuz i haven't been in in a week. Am I on his mind or does he just have a good memory, we will never know. Either way I found he smokes which is just so gross to me, i swear all guys I like smoke and i hate it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Like a ghost. Trying my best to ignore it and just focus on things I like, which helps but I just dont get why I get ignored this much. *sigh*


:hug

Some people do that for many reasons from different personalities to way people do things.

Just know it is not you, but them and the way they handle people.

Sometimes you find they do it in groups (group snub).

All you can do is control your own behaviour, not that of others.

Basically if they group ignore you or mistreat you (both are forms of abuse), their loss.

There are other people out there that are more worth your time.

Just need to seek them out.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Cool Ice Dude55 said:


> So I saw my barista boyfriend today who doesn't know he's my boyfriend. Thankkk god I bumped into him when he was on his break so I didn't have to buy any overpriced coffee today  The best part was he noticed that I changed up my hair and even said it looks nice *o* I'm dead! Idk how he even noticed cuz i haven't been in in a week. Am I on his mind or does he just have a good memory, we will never know. Either way I found he smokes which is just so gross to me, i swear all guys I like smoke and i hate it.


Oooo, that is awesome.

You would be amazed at what we men notice, remember about women. :blush

Just got to love exposure therapy.


----------



## harrison

Cool Ice Dude55 said:


> So I saw my barista boyfriend today who doesn't know he's my boyfriend. Thankkk god I bumped into him when he was on his break so I didn't have to buy any overpriced coffee today  The best part was he noticed that I changed up my hair and even said it looks nice *o* I'm dead! Idk how he even noticed cuz i haven't been in in a week. Am I on his mind or does he just have a good memory, we will never know. Either way I found he smokes which is just so gross to me, i swear all guys I like smoke and i hate it.


Glad it's progressing nicely - and good you didn't have to buy any of their terrible coffee.

I'm the opposite with smoke. There's a spot I walk past in the city where all the office workers stand around to have a cigarette for morning tea and I always slow down when I get there so I can get a couple of mouthfull's in as I walk past.


----------



## harrison

I think I might be starting to wake up. It feels like a truck might have run over my head while I was asleep last night.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A little better than my usual.  Visited family yesterday for Thanksgiving and went out for breakfast this morning with mother, which helped.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Cool Ice Dude55 said:


> awww *hugs*


Thanks for the hug.  I shouldn't feel bad about getting ignored but I still do sometimes

@Mondo_Fernando I've always had this problem where I'll be standing there in front of someone to ask them a question right where they can see me and I'll get ignored. Happened with this one girl today at work again and she was just chit chatting with her work friend. I would've thought since I've been more open and talkative this wouldn't happen anymore.

I swear, I think it was like this in HS, too.

Thanks Mondo.  I'm just going to keep doing things I enjoy in my free time that make me happy and not dwell so much on wanting friends or people ignoring me for no reason. Next time, In going to speak up when I get ignored like this but I shouldn't really have to if I'm standing right there. I spoke up once a couple months ago and my boss snapped at me. The disrespect at my workplace is very high.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Like a ghost. Trying my best to ignore it and just focus on things I like, which helps but I just don't get why I get ignored this much. *sigh*


Awww!  :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando I've always had this problem where I'll be standing there in front of someone to ask them a question right where they can see me and I'll get ignored. Happened with this one girl today at work again and she was just chit chatting with her work friend. I would've thought since I've been more open and talkative this wouldn't happen anymore.
> 
> I swear, I think it was like this in HS, too.


Sometimes people act differently infront of others vs when alone with you.

But in this situation, wait until she is finished talking with the other woman before approaching her.

You'll probably find she is more willing to talk to you after finished the conversation with the other woman.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks Mondo.  I'm just going to keep doing things I enjoy in my free time that make me happy and not dwell so much on wanting friends or people ignoring me for no reason. Next time, In going to speak up when I get ignored like this but I shouldn't really have to if I'm standing right there. I spoke up once a couple months ago and my boss snapped at me. The disrespect at my workplace is very high.


You're welcome.

Just timing your approach to talk to them, no biggy (nothing to worry about).

Normal social etiquette we all learn the hardway.

As long as you learn from your mistakes, you'll find people will start talking to you again in real life.


----------



## TopShelfHeart

Like a depression nap is coming on.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Awww!  :hug :squeeze


Thanks. 

I feel more invisible today after getting forgotten about at my doctor's appointment. :/ Guess it happens, though.

I'm donating blood plasma Friday for a little extra money. Havent ever done this before and I know it's not good to do it much. I'll probably just do it a few times. I'm feeling good about that plus it helps people in need. So it's a win win.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Frozen with fear and anxiety.


----------



## CNikki

Could be worse but still feel like crap. I don't know why I'm letting every single thing get to me.


----------



## midas

Feeling sad. But believes that everything happens for a reason. Everything is God's wish.


----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

I saw my barista boyfriend today. Ended up having a longer convo than normal because no-one else was in the bar *dances*. Then when i go to leave he says "so i'll see you tomorrow????" i was like no i only come into town 2 days a week. I'm literally deluding myself into thinking he looked dissapointed for 0.2 seconds and definitely over thinking why he asked me if i'm coming into tomorrow.


----------



## unemployment simulator

starting work at my second volunteer job tomorrow. juggling two at the moment along with a mental health course at the jobcentre. I feel like I need to be doing something, can't be just sitting around hoping for people to call me. that gets me down...
i'm just hoping I don't implode with throwing loads of stuff into my life.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Very energized today. For some reason, I havent felt that anxious at work today and I feel like I've been doing 4 things all at once even before I drank that energy drink.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Distracted so don't overthink. :yes


----------



## harrison

There's a ball of anxiety in the pit of my stomach from what I had to deal with yesterday. But hopefully I'll feel better after lunch with my wife and son. Think I'll go and look at the bookshop too - that usually cheers me up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Cool Ice Dude55 said:


> I saw my barista boyfriend today. Ended up having a longer convo than normal because no-one else was in the bar *dances*. Then when i go to leave he says "so i'll see you tomorrow????" i was like no i only come into town 2 days a week. I'm literally deluding myself into thinking he looked dissapointed for 0.2 seconds and definitely over thinking why he asked me if i'm coming into tomorrow.


He likes you.

Or asking for business reasons.

Which one?

Time will tell the story.

I'm hoping for the first, as is nice to see you happy.



harrison said:


> There's a ball of anxiety in the pit of my stomach from what I had to deal with yesterday. But hopefully I'll feel better after lunch with my wife and son. Think I'll go and look at the bookshop too - that usually cheers me up.


Wish you a good time with son, wife, bookshop visit.

Stay strong mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling stressed, tired, empty (depression) due to lost loved one.

Pushing myself to do tasks when can barely keep eyes open.

Seeing a corpse, especially of a loved one and feeling powerless to help them is hard to deal with.

What one sees in movies, TV programs in regards to a corpse doesn't compare to the real thing.


----------



## Ckg2011

Super bummed now.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Tired

Dizzy

Exasperated 

Confused

Barky


Pick one


----------



## zonebox

@Mondo_Fernando

I'm sorry dude  I can only imagine how much you are hurting right now, what you have been through these past weeks sounds absolutely horrible. I wish there was something I could say that would help you through the hard times you are currently experiencing.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@zonebox

Thanks mate for your kind words.

Have dealt with murder in the family before (second murder).

But this one is harder being very close to them and seeing the body this time.

What I learnt is to try to lock it out of mind.

But then some say just to let it out which involves thinking about it.

If let it out, better one feels.


----------



## SparklingWater

Lol incredulous but whatever. Shrug.

Hungry, but I don't want to order ubereats rn. They've gotten enough of my money this month.

Tired. I'm sorry but I'm going to sleep for a good 30 mins at like 3am. I don't condone sleeping on the job, but technically that's my break anyway and sleep I shall. I'm taking my break tonight (a whole nother story.) Gtfooh lol.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SparklingWater

:hug


----------



## harrison

Not that great and my son wants me to drive him to the airport.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Not that great and my son wants me to drive him to the airport.


Sorry to hear mate. 

Airport shuttle? :stu


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sorry to hear mate.
> 
> Airport shuttle? :stu


I called him a while ago and he's going to get an Uber. Can't drive when I'm like this. Hope you're doing okay over there mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I called him a while ago and he's going to get an Uber. Can't drive when I'm like this. Hope you're doing okay over there mate.


Oh, ok. Safe option.

I'm ok.

Nice day with cloudy but calmish, warmish weather. :yes


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Oh, ok. Safe option.
> 
> I'm ok.
> 
> *Nice day with cloudy but calmish, warmish weather. :*yes


That sounds nice mate - it's like that here today too, supposed to be 23 I think. Nice and sunny.

My boy's going up to Qld to see a friend of his for a few days. His mother's worried about the driving but he'll be okay. Just a short trip.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> That sounds nice mate - it's like that here today too, supposed to be 23 I think. Nice and sunny.


Our weather mirrors yours or get antarctic weather (windy, rain, etc).

Thermo says 17 degrees C here.

Normally 15 degrees C is average, so yeah.

2 degrees C makes a difference. :sus :stu



harrison said:


> My boy's going up to Qld to see a friend of his for a few days. His mother's worried about the driving but he'll be okay. Just a short trip.


Ah, the trip you said he was taking a while ago. :yes

Wish him a safe trip.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

I wonder how @discopotato is doing on the journey of all journeys.

Hope she is safe, ok. :yes


----------



## discopotato

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I wonder how @discopotato is doing on the journey of all journeys.
> 
> Hope she is safe, ok. :yes


Aww I appreciate the concern  I'm doing great thanks! Living life in sunny Florida 0


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Aww I appreciate the concern  I'm doing great thanks! Living life in sunny Florida 0


You're welcome.

So you are safe, doing great. That is good to hear.

Ooooo, Florida. :O

So lucky. :yes


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Nervous. Waiting rooms suck. Lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Despondent.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Nervous. Waiting rooms suck. Lol


Now I'm disappointed. I ended leaving after 3 hours cause I was told to eat something before my appointment, which I didnt know then I went back up there and felt like I waited for at least 20 more minutes then left for good. I had something to drink but not something to eat. It clearly wasnt worth twiddling my fingers in that waiting room. I still had something else to do before I could even get my blood plasma drawn. Too bad the one day I needed my phone on charge and it was only on 15 percent before I went up there. Forgot to charge it cause I was gone all day and night yesterday. Guess I was too exhausted when I got home cause I had to wash dishes that I forgot to charge it. FML.

What a waste, though.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Now I'm disappointed. I ended leaving after 3 hours cause I was told to eat something before my appointment, which I didnt know then I went back up there and felt like I waited for at least 20 more minutes then left for good. I had something to drink but not something to eat. It clearly wasnt worth twiddling my fingers in that waiting room. I still had something else to do before I could even get my blood plasma drawn. Too bad the one day I needed my phone on charge and it was only on 15 percent before I went up there. Forgot to charge it cause I was gone all day and night yesterday. Guess I was too exhausted when I got home cause I had to wash dishes that I forgot to charge it. FML.
> 
> What a waste, though.


 You could have at least eaten a couple of purple people. We got more purple people than we need anyway.

But seriously. What was that for?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Nervous. Waiting rooms suck. Lol


:hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Now I'm disappointed. I ended leaving after 3 hours cause I was told to eat something before my appointment, which I didnt know then I went back up there and felt like I waited for at least 20 more minutes then left for good. I had something to drink but not something to eat. It clearly wasnt worth twiddling my fingers in that waiting room. I still had something else to do before I could even get my blood plasma drawn. Too bad the one day I needed my phone on charge and it was only on 15 percent before I went up there. Forgot to charge it cause I was gone all day and night yesterday. Guess I was too exhausted when I got home cause I had to wash dishes that I forgot to charge it. FML.
> 
> What a waste, though.


:hug

There are portable batteries on the market (many manfacturers) that can charge a phone, start a car, etc while on the go.


----------



## discopotato

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> So you are safe, doing great. That is good to hear.
> 
> Ooooo, Florida. :O
> 
> So lucky. :yes


Thanks  
My polar bear genes arent too crazy about the heat though lol
But I'm having a great time


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

discopotato said:


> Thanks
> My polar bear genes arent too crazy about the heat though lol
> But I'm having a great time


You're welcome.

Polar bear genes. :lol

Good to hear you are having a good time. :yes

I hear it's handy to always have a water bottle on you due to heat.

A guy I usēd to know from Florida was obsessed with water bottles.

Used to always make smart comments then go back to drinking water bottle, wasn't me. :sus :stu :lol


----------



## Graeme1988

Haven’t really slept much lately... anxious about attending my uncle’s funeral next week. 

Mainly because I’ll be seeing family members I haven’t seen in years.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> Haven't really slept much lately... anxious about attending my uncle's funeral next week.
> 
> Mainly because I'll be seeing family members I haven't seen in years.


Sorry to hear about your uncle mate. R.I.P.

Always scary, stressful up until a stressful event like that in ones life. But find it usually is not so bad afterwards.


----------



## riverbird

This week is the first time in a while that I've really felt the weight of depression. I'm constantly exhausted no matter how little or how much I sleep, I feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat, and I just want to be left alone. I don't like it.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@riverbird

:hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :hug
> 
> :hug
> 
> There are portable batteries on the market (many manfacturers) that can charge a phone, start a car, etc while on the go.


My phone is usually good for up to 8 hours on 100 percent charge so if I do it next time, I'll charge it over night which I usually do but I was exhausted last night and thought I had it charged.

@WillYouStopDave :laugh: Sounds like a plan before getting my plasma drawn.

It's an easy way to get some money but a very long process. I was up there for 3 and a half hours and still had at least one other thing to do before I could even donate. I'll probably try again another time. But also a good way to help people by donating it. I'm just not sure if all the waiting is worth it. I didn't want to waste their time so I felt bad about leaving.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> My phone is usually good for up to 8 hours on 100 percent charge so if I do it next time, I'll charge it over night which I usually do but I was exhausted last night and thought I had it charged.


Oh, ok.


----------



## Suchness

The other day after doing my meditation I sat down at my desk and I felt so much love and joy come over me, it was intense, I felt light and when I closed my eyes I saw how I was filled with so much light, it's like a part of me opened up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Suchness

That is awesome mate. :yes


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lots of hard yakka and tired.

Local women are happy with work, so that is good.


----------



## harrison

Not very good. How the **** am I supposed to get a life if I'm this unstable.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison

Mate.


----------



## zonebox

harrison said:


> Not very good. How the **** am I supposed to get a life if I'm this unstable.


I hope you are feeling a little better now, I hate to see it when you or others are in the dumps.

Ya gotta get to your happy place  Check this out, I don't know about you but even though I am not into collecting books, this looks incredibly comforting to me.








Now that, that looks like a slice of heaven.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@zonebox

That is @harrison happy place. :yes


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> I feel very lonely right now.


Awww. :hug


----------



## Callum96

****ing ****!! Anyway how are you?


----------



## zonebox

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @zonebox
> 
> That is @harrison happy place. :yes


I like his happy place, I think I'll move in for a little while.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Thank you again, Mondo!


You're welcome.



lily said:


> The other day I called in somewhere and I felt the person at the reception was judging me


:hug



zonebox said:


> I like his happy place, I think I'll move in for a little while.


Wouldn't get bored easily (lots to read).


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

BeautyandRage said:


> Really alone.


:hug


----------



## blue2

lily said:


> The other day I called in somewhere and I felt the person at the reception was judging me


Well sounds like you judged them right back :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Callum96 said:


> ****ing ****!! Anyway how are you?


Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep mate. :grin2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Thank you Mondo again! For me it was relevant. Thank you blue2


You're welcome.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Better with a haircut, cheers barber (me). :b


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Lonely


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> I hope you are feeling a little better now, I hate to see it when you or others are in the dumps.
> 
> Ya gotta get to your happy place  Check this out, I don't know about you but even though I am not into collecting books, this looks incredibly comforting to me.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Now that, that looks like a slice of heaven.


Thanks a lot for that - I feel a bit better because I increased my medication dosage. Yesterday I was really weird at that mall, everything looked too intense - all the colours etc. I could feel it. Then that strange guy came and sat near me - for some reason it made me very angry.

I'll go and see one of the doctors I like - but they'll just tell me to increase the pills like I'm doing now. Whcih is okay I guess. I need a new shrink - but hard to find someone I like. The last guy was rude and dismissive. Difficult to deal with when you're not feeling well to start with. I respond very badly to that kind of behaviour.

Very nice books btw - that's exactly what I like.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lonely


:hug

Not alone in feeling that way.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lonely


Awww!  :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Sore.


----------



## harrison

Confusion and brain-fog from this medication. PLus hoping my wife will be okay with those wankers at her work today. I think she has some important meetings. God I'm glad I don't have to deal with those people - I'd definitely want to slap them.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Awww!  :hug :squeeze


:squeeze I'm trying to make it.


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sorry to hear about your uncle mate. R.I.P.


Thanks mate



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Always scary, stressful up until a stressful event like that in ones life. But find it usually is not so bad afterwards.


Yeah... I know. It's still nerve racking for me, nonetheless.


----------



## Graeme1988

BeautyandRage said:


> Ashamed of my life. What an embarrassment.


You're not alone in feeling that way. I can definitely relate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> Thanks mate


You're welcome mate.



Graeme1988 said:


> Yeah... I know. It's still nerve racking for me, nonetheless.


I hope it goes well and you feel better.



BeautyandRage said:


> Ashamed of my life. What an embarrassment.


Nope, amazing mum you are. :hug


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome mate.
> 
> I hope it goes well and you feel better.


Thanks. I'll feel better eventually. I've just been trying to distract my mind from everything that's been going on in ma life, lately. Basically, trying to keep it together. Since I feel like I'll breakdown if ah dwell upon my uncle's death or the family drama and arguments of the past 2 years too much.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> Thanks. I'll feel better eventually. I've just been trying to distract my mind from everything that's been going on in ma life, lately. Basically, trying to keep it together. Since I feel like I'll breakdown if ah dwell upon my uncle's death or the family drama and arguments of the past 2 years too much.


You're welcome.

A small distraction (classic from when I was young).


* *












Got a nice beat to the song, ignore the name.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Very bad.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Persephone The Dread said:


> Very bad.


Sorry to hear that.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not that good. Hoping I can get to sleep tonight.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Not that good. Hoping I can get to sleep tonight.


Awww. :hug

Wishing you a good nights sleep.


----------



## harrison

Quite a bit better. Had some Panadol and didn't take my morning medication. I think it was too much.

Plus I went into Brunetti's and had a coffee and a pistacchio eclair. It's impossible to feel too bad after one of those.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison

That looks upmarket. :yes

Foooooood. :O


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @harrison
> 
> That looks upmarket. :yes
> 
> Foooooood. :O


Yeah it's a nice place mate, not really expensive. Very good Italian food - plus the cakes and coffee etc. It's across from the library I go to in the city - I go there a lot.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yeah it's a nice place mate, not really expensive. Very good Italian food - plus the cakes and coffee etc. It's across from the library I go to in the city - I go there a lot.


I can see why, yummy. :grin2:


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I can see why, yummy. :grin2:


We can go and check it out if you ever come over mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That I liked this car when tried the road version.


* *












But after a ride in a 600hp 4wd racecar, might be a bit slower. But looks exciting to drive. :yes

Nothing like heart beating million miles an hour, shaking feeling when living on the edge. :yes


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> That I liked this car when tried the road version.
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> But after a ride in a 600hp 4wd racecar, might be a bit slower. But looks exciting to drive. :yes
> 
> Nothing like heart beating million miles an hour, shaking feeling when living on the edge. :yes


The fastest I've ever been was in a BMW I bought over in the Uk that time I was crazy there. I was hitting 100 mph on the M1 down to London - very scary and much too dangerous.

Normally I'm a pretty slow driver now - if I could actually afford one I'd get another Volvo. I'm the perfect Volvo driver. :roll


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> We can go and check it out if you ever come over mate.


I think flight would be a couple of hundy both ways. Fairly cheap flight.

Either that or row over, but might be delayed a few weeks.

That is if don't get caught up in a storm. :lol

Imagine me, big ocean, bobbing up and down in a small boat. :b

I think I should be able to get plenty of shrimp for the barbie. :yes :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> The fastest I've ever been was in a BMW I bought over in the Uk that time I was crazy there. I was hitting 100 mph on the M1 down to London - very scary and much too dangerous.


Sounds exciting. :yes



harrison said:


> Normally I'm a pretty slow driver now - if I could actually afford one I'd get another Volvo. I'm the perfect Volvo driver. :roll


Cool. I liked driving an older Volvo. :yes

From memory very heavy car, but goodish handling.


----------



## ScorchedEarth

Doomed. My life's a cycle of escapism, and that'd be fine by me except I expect disaster in an unspecified timeframe - weeks, months, it's unclear how long I can drag this out. So I try to squeeze what I can out of each day, but because I'm near-dead inside it's like squeezing water from a rock. If someone snuck up and lopped my head off, they'd be doing me a big favor.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@ScorchedEarth

Mate.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sounds exciting. :yes
> 
> Cool. I liked driving an older Volvo. :yes
> 
> From memory very heavy car, but goodish handling.


I was insane - it scares the hell out of me to think of some of the things I've done when I was like that.

Yeah, I had an older Volvo wagon - very heavy but reliable. I liked that car.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I was insane - it scares the hell out of me to think of some of the things I've done when I was like that.


When in the moment, don't think of things like that. But do get heart racing, shaking a bit.



harrison said:


> Yeah, I had an older Volvo wagon - very heavy but reliable. I liked that car.


I was surprised at how well it handled. I was expecting like a big boat type of handling. But was quite nimble.


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> A small distraction (classic from when I was young).
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Got a nice beat to the song, ignore the name.


That's a pretty decent cover of that song.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> That's a pretty decent cover of that song.


:yes

Like listening to most of his covers as are close to the originals, but his own with the way he sings, plays.


----------



## Graeme1988

We still don't care, _apparently_. Or, we don't care enough by my older sister's standards. :bash
Do narcissistic people tend to be like this? Because my older sister has said that frequently in the last 2 years. :stu

And yet, when her and her kids come and visit, our mother ends up making us all dinner. When they come upstairs to see me, I always talk to them. And let them yap to me. On top of that, I always ask Mum if she'll need any help in the kitchen when dinners being made. For what I've seen, my older sister just sits in the living room on her phone.

_But I do f&#8230;k all? Really?! Naw! Ah do what I'm asked. Just because ah rarely venture beyond my bedroom door aside from to use the toilet does'nae mean ah do nuthin'. F&#8230;&#8230;k ! If ah hud things ma way, I'd have a mini-fridge freezer in ma bedroom. Stock it up with booze, yogurts, and a few other things and never leave my room, other than to use the toilet._


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Graeme1988

Look up family tree. Can learn a lot about your family that way. Usually traits are inherited from way back.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Foolish. Anxious. Depressed.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SamanthaStrange

:hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @SamanthaStrange
> 
> :hug


Thanks.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks.


You're welcome.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Foolish. Anxious. Depressed.


Awww.  :hug :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

BeautyandRage said:


> Real hurt. My heart is broken and I feel like I'm going crazy. I hate myself.


Awww. :hug

Go to a mirror and say to yourself, you in that mirror are an awesome mum, wife.

Repeat to yourself, you in that mirror are an awesome mum, wife. :yes

And you know it. :yes


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @Graeme1988
> 
> Look up family tree. Can learn a lot about your family that way. Usually traits are inherited from way back.


I'd do that if ah did'nae huv tae justify my reason for doing so. Ah just know I'm gonnae get the usual: _"Huh! Whit ye daein that fur? F&#8230;&#8230;kin' stupid! Waste uh time"_


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

BeautyandRage said:


> thanks


You're welcome.



Graeme1988 said:


> I'd do that if ah did'nae huv tae justify my reason for doing so. Ah just know I'm gonnae get the usual: _"Huh! Whit ye daein that fur? F&#8230;&#8230;kin' stupid! Waste uh time"_


Just do it for yourself mate.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Lost and stuck. Such a horrible feeling.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lost and stuck. Such a horrible feeling.


:hug

We will just twist the foot a little bit and will release from the rocks on the shoreline.

Then take the dinghy to the ship

Then whip out the map, compass and find the way to where you are going. :yes

Up the main sails, stash the fanta, arggggh captain Purple, we ready to sail.

Just give the order captain Purple arggggh.


----------



## SparklingWater

Lazy, period-y, toothachey, tired and irritated.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@SparklingWater

:hug

Maybe this might help (to listen to to calm down)?


* *












When tired it can take 2x the time to do tasks sometimes.

Your beauty sleep is important to be at your best.

Wish you a good sleep when you sleep. :yes


----------



## Jessica Smith Sure

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @SparklingWater
> 
> :hug
> 
> Maybe this might help (to listen to to calm down)?
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> When tired it can take 2x the time to do tasks sometimes.
> 
> Your beauty sleep is important to be at your best.
> 
> Wish you a good sleep when you sleep. :yes


You are such a sweat heart. I need someone positive like in my life


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :hug
> 
> We will just twist the foot a little bit and will release from the rocks on the shoreline.
> 
> Then take the dinghy to the ship
> 
> Then whip out the map, compass and find the way to where you are going. :yes
> 
> Up the main sails, stash the fanta, arggggh captain Purple, we ready to sail.
> 
> Just give the order captain Purple arggggh.


Even in these dark times I've been going through, that made me laugh.

I'm not sure if I'll be in a good state of mind for awhile. Just trying not to let things get to me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Jessica Smith Sure said:


> You are such a sweat heart. I need someone positive like in my life


Need to be made of candy to have a sweet heart. :O

But thank you for the kind words.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Even in these dark times I've been going through, that made me laugh.


Good to hear that it made you laugh, as that is the captain Purple we want to see. :yes



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm not sure if I'll be in a good state of mind for awhile. Just trying not to let things get to me.


It is ok. :hug

I have captured plenty of jokes, so we all good captain Purple. :yes :b


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted & sore


----------



## scooby

I feel like I'm living death.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Canadian Brotha said:


> Exhausted & sore


Sorry to hear mate. 



lily said:


> I'm so sad.


Awww. :hug



BeautyandRage said:


> Feeling in love. Euphoric


Good to hear.

Wish you, hubby, family the best.


----------



## Graeme1988

All that anxiety over nothing. My uncle's funeral was a lovely service with a couple of Robert Burns poems. Cuz my uncle loved reading Burns poetry. Ah see where I got my love of Robert Burns poetry from, along with country music.

It's just a shame my older sisters had to get into massive argument over a Facebook comment, and why Christmas is $h!%* when we have it at our mother's every year. And this was just before we headed off to the funeral. Apparently, I'm at fault for latter of these 2 things, as per usually. Always the scapegoat.

Even though I've made it clear in the years since I turned 16 that I don't enjoy it anymore, because ah feel obligated to be sit at the table. Rather than actually wanting to. And y'know sod the fact that there's yin family member sitting at the table who has made it clear over the years that she'd be happier if I never existed. As well as condensed my taste in music, movies and books into a single swear word: _"$h!%*_


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kind of upset. Thinking about things. Trying my damndest to get my mind off of it.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling pretty good right now, it is Friday and I'm looking forward to having a few drinks, playing some games, and enjoying the weekend.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Kind of upset. Thinking about things. Trying my damndest to get my mind off of it.


:hug

Try focusing on an object in the room, it's shape, colour, etc. If mind wanders to worrying thoughts, refocus on object in the room, it's shape, colour, etc.

It helps for concentration, but also distraction.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

zonebox said:


> I'm feeling pretty good right now, it is Friday and I'm looking forward to having a few drinks, playing some games, and enjoying the weekend.


Hello from the future (Saturday here).


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely, stressed.


----------



## zonebox

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Hello from the future (Saturday here).


:lol
Your reply reminds me of a clip from family guy





It is around the 1:50 mark, I don't think timestamps work on SAS.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

zonebox said:


> :lol
> Your reply reminds me of a clip from family guy
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> It is around the 1:50 mark, I don't think timestamps work on SAS.


I see what you mean, 6 hours ahead in that video clip. :lol


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Someone shoot me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@iAmCodeMonkey

What is wrong matey?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @*iAmCodeMonkey*
> 
> What is wrong matey?


Nothing really, just feel really lonely and tired right now after work.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Nothing really, just feel really lonely and tired right now after work.


Ok.

I hope you feel better after some sleep mate.

Try breathing in an out fully, as it can help feel less down.

Wish you a good sleep when you sleep mate.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> :hug
> 
> Try focusing on an object in the room, it's shape, colour, etc. If mind wanders to worrying thoughts, refocus on object in the room, it's shape, colour, etc.
> 
> It helps for concentration, but also distraction.


I'm just worried about my mother still is all. Still trying to do things I usually do that I enjoy.

I just wish I had someone to hug me in real life and tell me it's all going to be okay and comfort me. I almost cried at work of all places today. Can't have that happening. :/


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm just worried about my mother still is all.


Understandable.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Still trying to do things I usually do that I enjoy.


I hope that helps.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I just wish I had someone to hug me in real life and tell me it's all going to be okay and comfort me. I almost cried at work of all places today. Can't have that happening. :/


Awww :hug

If feel that way, try cuddling a cat. Can feel heart beat, purring vibration which can make one feel better as know they love the cuddling.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> @Mondo_Fernando Thank you
> 
> hugs


You're welcome.

Thank you for the hug, very kind of you.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Understandable.
> 
> I hope that helps.
> 
> Awww :hug
> 
> If feel that way, try cuddling a cat. Can feel heart beat, purring vibration which can make one feel better as know they love the cuddling.


Cats are cuddly but there's none here. A bunny would be nice, too.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> You're welcome, thanks


Thanks, you're welcome.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Cats are cuddly but there's none here. A bunny would be nice, too.


Just don't cuddle a Bear. Roar. :b


----------



## harrison

Woke up in a panic again. I hate that. Makes a change from the rage I've been feeling lately though I suppose.


----------



## harrison

Much calmer - the wonders of Valium.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison

Good to hear you are calm mate.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @harrison
> 
> Good to hear you are calm mate.


Thanks mate - it won't last but it was nice for a while. 

I need to try and build more of a life for myself again. It's hard when I feel like I do a lot of the time but I want to try and focus on my books again if I can.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - it won't last but it was nice for a while.
> 
> I need to try and build more of a life for myself again. It's hard when I feel like I do a lot of the time but I want to try and focus on my books again if I can.


You're welcome mate.

Sounds like a good idea.


----------



## TryingMara

Very bored.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Awkward


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I hope I get a raise after getting number one in my whole company for sales in my department.

I'm doubting it but hoping I do. My anxiety makes me fear failure so must be partially what helped.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I hope I get a raise after getting number one in my whole company for sales in my department.
> 
> I'm doubting it but hoping I do. My anxiety makes me fear failure so must be partially what helped.


Wow, that is impressive, congrats.

You'll be ok, fear is a good thing in some ways. No fear can mean ignore some things.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Wow, that is impressive, congrats.
> 
> You'll be ok, fear is a good thing in some ways. No fear can mean ignore some things.


Thank you. It's pretty cool. :smile2:

I agree. That's probably the only good thing about anxiety. :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thank you. It's pretty cool. :smile2:


You're welcome.

It is cool. :yes

I'm impressed as set a goal and your hard work payed off in that award which is part of completing that goal. :yes

Now a new goal, another level. :yes



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I agree. That's probably the only good thing about anxiety. :lol


Flight, fight response too. Protect's you.


----------



## harrison

I feel like I've just woken up from a bloody coma. Man that must have been a deep sleep.


----------



## TopShelfHeart

Frustrated with a dash of depression


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I feel like I've just woken up from a bloody coma. Man that must have been a deep sleep.


Must feel better after got over the initial wake up feeling.


----------



## Mik3

Feel good for once got a new job which I’m actually enjoying.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome.
> 
> It is cool. :yes
> 
> I'm impressed as set a goal and your hard work payed off in that award which is part of completing that goal. :yes
> 
> Now a new goal, another level. :yes
> 
> Flight, fight response too. Protect's you.


I was embarrassed when my coworkers told me congratulations cause like half of them probably dont give a damn that I made it to number one. :lol But I'm not worried about that. I'm there to do a job. Not really to make friends.

It did pay off. :smile2: I think I'm supposed to get a plaque for it but a raise would be better. Found out I wont get a raise after all, which sucks but it's still pretty cool I got to number one. And it makes me feel more comfortable with the job. Cause I know I'm doing something right.


----------



## SparklingWater

Kinda sad, beaten down by life, tired


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Must feel better after got over the initial wake up feeling.


Still feel pretty heavy mate. Probably this weird medication that I can't seem to tolerate anymore. Even at a low dose I fall asleep on the train and feel all dizzy walking down the street. It's crap.

I'll just have a few more cups of coffee and see if I can wake up.  Will be okay. Beautiful day here - going to be warm. Thank God summer's coming.


----------



## Euripides

Abandoned, hurt, angry, and severely disturbed/perturbed/I-can't-believe-this.

1) The higher the monkey climbs, the more it shows its tail. Even the closest ones to you in the world. People forget they counted on you during their worst times. Then when things are going up up up for them, you are but part of a painful memory they are now above. I care too much.

2) I'm being admitted to the psych ward tomorrow for possibly a month. 

3) The world turns, undisturbed.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I was embarrassed when my coworkers told me congratulations cause like half of them probably dont give a damn that I made it to number one. :lol But I'm not worried about that. I'm there to do a job. Not really to make friends.


Business is business, personal is personal.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> It did pay off. :smile2: I think I'm supposed to get a plaque for it but a raise would be better. Found out I wont get a raise after all, which sucks but it's still pretty cool I got to number one. And it makes me feel more comfortable with the job. Cause I know I'm doing something right.


Raise is ever year (if they have spare money for the next year). You are entitled to ask every year if do a good job (might not be much, but every dollar counts). Most people don't know that, so never ask.



SparklingWater said:


> Kinda sad, beaten down by life, tired


:hug

Don't let life get to you.

You are strong, you are amazing.

Get some sleep and should be ready for the next day.



harrison said:


> Still feel pretty heavy mate. Probably this weird medication that I can't seem to tolerate anymore. Even at a low dose I fall asleep on the train and feel all dizzy walking down the street. It's crap.
> 
> I'll just have a few more cups of coffee and see if I can wake up.  Will be okay. Beautiful day here - going to be warm. Thank God summer's coming.


Sorry to hear that, sounds like side effects again. 

Hopefully that coffee helps.

Summer, good mood. :yes



Euripides said:


> Abandoned, hurt, angry, and severely disturbed/perturbed/I-can't-believe-this.
> 
> 1) The higher the monkey climbs, the more it shows its tail. Even the closest ones to you in the world. People forget they counted on you during their worst times. Then when things are going up up up for them, you are but part of a painful memory they are now above. I care too much.
> 
> 2) I'm being admitted to the psych ward tomorrow for possibly a month.
> 
> 3) The world turns, undisturbed.


Aww, mate.


----------



## scooby

Hungry, sleepy. I just woke up, I just ate something. still hungry, sleepy.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm struggling


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Crisigv said:


> I'm struggling


 I'm sorry. :frown2:


----------



## Crisigv

WillYouStopDave said:


> I'm sorry. :frown2:


Yeah


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

scooby said:


> Hungry, sleepy. I just woke up, I just ate something. still hungry, sleepy.


Congrats on being a mod mate.



Crisigv said:


> I'm struggling


Awww. :hug


----------



## LeCoffee

I've actually been feeling better lately, maybe even hopeful? nahhhhhhhhhh XD


----------



## scooby

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Congrats on being a mod mate.


What, what??? When'd this happen??

thanks, though


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

scooby said:


> What, what??? When'd this happen??
> 
> thanks, though


Not sure mate, but you are welcome.


----------



## SpartanSaber

I've not been doing so well recently


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SpartanSaber said:


> I've not been doing so well recently


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## harrison

I'm a mess again. If I take these pills I feel groggy and dizzy and when I stop them I have these bloody withdrawals. Clawing feeling in your stomach and you feel like you're going mad. I need to try and get off this crap.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I'm a mess again. If I take these pills I feel groggy and dizzy and when I stop them I have these bloody withdrawals. Clawing feeling in your stomach and you feel like you're going mad. I need to try and get off this crap.


Sorry to hear that mate. 

Sometimes natural remedies work, like from China. Can find those types of traditional Chinese stores that sell natural remedies.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely, missing my lost loved one.

Seeing the look on face at death just plays over and over in my mind.

:crying:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Aww  :hug


Thanks lily, I needed that.

Thank you for being so kind to me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> You're welcome.






lily said:


> You're worth it


That is nice of you to say so.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Unsure. Undergoing an inner battle. It is like I am indecisive. I can't make up my mind. My desires as simple: Friendships, being independent, going after my dreams, being my true self {A better version of me} and yet it is hard to do the action: to be in that mindset. It is a new energy. A new way of thinking. Surely I am stuck in my old ways and mindset. I need major CHANGES with myself. I know this and yet I fail to do the act. It is disappointing know that you are your own downfall. The one that is holding you back. It is hard I know but I have to make an effort and stick with it less I stay like this: a person who won't change for the better. One could lose out on opportunities. Doors won't open unto you. Then again one would have to see the door see that new opportunity. I see many doors with a good outlook. I like to see the bright side of things.......just that the me of today is a hindrance. {Old mindset} Surely this can block your blessings.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Fun Spirit

:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

I'm not feeling well.

Wanting to.......


* *


----------



## Wanderlust26

I've been feeling pretty bummed...angry even over putting in all this effort to being friends with these 2 coworkers, only to find out they're just as unreliable as anyone else. I need to remember: don't expect quality people at Wal-mart.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I'm not feeling well.
> 
> Wanting to.......
> 
> 
> * *


Hope you're feeling a bit better now mate.

Here's a good song - I came across it by accident a while ago and I thought the girl's name looked Indonesian. It turns out she was born in Sumatra I think.

I really like her voice.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Hope you're feeling a bit better now mate.
> 
> Here's a good song - I came across it by accident a while ago and I thought the girl's name looked Indonesian. It turns out she was born in Sumatra I think.
> 
> I really like her voice.


Thanks mate.

A bit better now that got some more sleep.

Thank you for sharing with me that song. Her voice is quite calming, relaxing. Reminds me of Enya.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Thanks mate.
> 
> A bit better now that got some more sleep.
> 
> Thank you for sharing with me that song. Her voice is quite calming, relaxing. Reminds me of Enya.


Glad you're feeling a bit better mate. Try not to worry, things will pick up.

Plus you've got to meet me up in Bali one day - that'll cheer you up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Glad you're feeling a bit better mate. Try not to worry, things will pick up.
> 
> Plus you've got to meet me up in Bali one day - that'll cheer you up.


Thanks mate.

Hope so.

Yeah, I guess so.


----------



## harrison

About 10 minutes ago I felt a wave of exhaustion pass over me. Very strange.

Still getting over coming off this stupid medication.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> About 10 minutes ago I felt a wave of exhaustion pass over me. Very strange.
> 
> Still getting over coming off this stupid medication.


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sorry to hear mate.


Thanks mate - I'll live. Probably just need a decent night's sleep.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - I'll live. Probably just need a decent night's sleep.


You're welcome mate.

Here is some groovy Xanadu music from way back in the days to maybe sleep to.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome mate.
> 
> Here is some groovy Xanadu music from way back in the days to maybe sleep to.


Nice clip mate. Jee, Olivia Newton-John was a nice-looking girl in her day wasn't she. She just had a big auction thing selling off a whole lot of her clothes from various movies for charity.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Nice clip mate. Jee, Olivia Newton-John was a nice-looking girl in her day wasn't she. She just had a big auction thing selling off a whole lot of her clothes from various movies for charity.


Best Aussie export (actress wise) of her time.

Crushed on Sandy in Grease.






Especially this.






Sandy character, good girl trying to be bad. :O :mushy

One of the reasons why I like that short blonde hair look.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Best Aussie export (actress wise) of her time.
> 
> Crushed on Sandy in Grease.


I'm pretty sure that black suit was one of the one's she was selling. She said something about one of the zips being broken and them having to sew her into it at the time.

That probably would have been something to see mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I'm pretty sure that black suit was one of the one's she was selling. She said something about one of the zips being broken and them having to sew her into it at the time.
> 
> That probably would have been something to see mate.


Explains why she was brushing him off in that scene (didn't touch her), as didn't want a wadrobe malfunction. :O


----------



## SparklingWater

Happy it's Halloween cause I'm in the mood for chocolate and will get some tonight at work. Yay!


----------



## harrison

Well it's not light yet so that says something.

Terror, confusion, fatigue.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I have a headache, and my nose is super stuffy. It was snowing a while ago, but I guess allergy season never really ends for me now. :bah


----------



## riverbird

Nervous. In the waiting room at therapy, I hate waiting. I wish I could just leave.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

karenw said:


> How on this earth did you know why she did what she did.


Probably read it somewhere.

Throughout the dance he never touched her clothes (especially bottoms where there would be a zip), except that shake machine, where he did touch the bottoms. Then realised his mistake.



harrison said:


> Well it's not light yet so that says something.
> 
> Terror, confusion, fatigue.


Probably still tired mate (not enough sleep). Anxiety, etc get worse when tired.



SamanthaStrange said:


> I have a headache, and my nose is super stuffy. It was snowing a while ago, but I guess allergy season never really ends for me now. :bah


Aww, sammy. :hug
@Suchness

Sammy alert, needs suchy. 



riverbird said:


> Nervous. In the waiting room at therapy, I hate waiting. I wish I could just leave.


You can do this.

Chin up, stay strong.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feel sort of relieved. My eye is better today but not completely better.


----------



## Jessica Smith Sure

harrison said:


> Glad you're feeling a bit better mate. Try not to worry, things will pick up.
> 
> Plus you've got to meet me up in Bali one day - that'll cheer you up.


Bali is great. Is it a forum meet up or just between the two of you guys?


----------



## harrison

Jessica Smith Sure said:


> Bali is great. Is it a forum meet up or just between the two of you guys?


You've been to Bali? What country are you from?

Not sure if Mondo will ever really feel like meeting up there some time - I used to joke that we should have a place up there one day where we can all go and live or stay for a while - but that was before everyone either got banned or just stopped posting on here.

I wouldn't have a problem meeting up with anyone - but many here are pretty shy, or maybe just very private.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feel sort of relieved. My eye is better today but not completely better.


Good to hear that your eye is a little better.



harrison said:


> You've been to Bali? What country are you from?
> 
> Not sure if Mondo will ever really feel like meeting up there some time - I used to joke that we should have a place up there one day where we can all go and live or stay for a while - but that was before everyone either got banned or just stopped posting on here.
> 
> I wouldn't have a problem meeting up with anyone - but many here are pretty shy, or maybe just very private.


I was thinking about that. @Ekardy mentioned about visiting, not sure if she will.

Thinking about how we could get some that struggle to afford it to have a good life experience overseas that may never be able to.

A lot of idea's, but very few solutions at this moment in time. :stu

Would need passports, flights (or cruise ship if cheaper to travel to many places and have privacy/alone time), accommodation (how many nights), amount of people, etc.

But I have a lot of life changes due to what happened in my life recently which complicates things for me.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I was thinking about that. @Ekardy mentioned about visiting, not sure if she will.
> 
> Thinking about how we could get some that struggle to afford it to have a good life experience overseas that may never be able to.
> 
> A lot of idea's, but very few solutions at this moment in time. :stu
> 
> Would need passports, flights (or cruise ship if cheaper to travel to many places and have privacy/alone time), accommodation (how many nights), amount of people, etc.
> 
> But I have a lot of life changes due to what happened in my life recently which complicates things for me.


Yeah, it's okay mate. Who knows - we might be able to do it one day.

As I get older I'll spend parts of the year either up there or in Thailand I'd say. Maybe a few months a year at least - but I wouldn't want to leave my wife on her own for too long, and my son of course. Very different lifestyle there and much cheaper.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yeah, it's okay mate. Who knows - we might be able to do it one day.


True.



harrison said:


> As I get older I'll spend parts of the year either up there or in Thailand I'd say. Maybe a few months a year at least - but I wouldn't want to leave my wife on her own for too long, and my son of course. Very different lifestyle there and much cheaper.


That sounds nice.

I was watching TV article on the death of the king and they all had to dress in black for a whole year.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> That sounds nice.
> 
> I was watching TV article on the death of the king and they all had to dress in black for a whole year.


Yeah, the monarchy is something they take very seriously up there. Everyone actually stops as they're walking or jogging in the parks up there so they can play the national anthem too.

I would find that difficult to deal with obviously.  (but I'm very good at pretending)






Can barely hear the anthem but it must be playing off in the distance somewhere.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yeah, the monarchy is something they take very seriously up there. Everyone actually stops as they're walking or jogging in the parks up there so they can play the national anthem too.
> 
> I would find that difficult to deal with obviously.  (but I'm very good at pretending)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Can barely hear the anthem but it must be playing off in the distance somewhere.


Wow, that is interesting.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Jetlagged

What time is it


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

leaf in the wind said:


> Jetlagged
> 
> What time is it


Good to hear you got where you are going safely.

Hoping flight was ok.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison

Hot out there today.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @harrison
> 
> Hot out there today.


You got our hot weather mate.  It's nice and cool here again now and raining - I like this weather sometimes, bit of a change. Was too hot before.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> You got our hot weather mate.  It's nice and cool here again now and raining - I like this weather sometimes, bit of a change. Was too hot before.


Definitely mate. :yes

We had rain last week.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando Thanks.  I had it rough yesterday at work. Haha. But I got through it. Today was a lot better. Idk why I took Benadryl at work. Some girl told me to get some and I did without thinking about the fact it would make me sleepy. The rest of the day, I just wanted to lay on the floor. xD


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando Thanks.  I had it rough yesterday at work. Haha. But I got through it. Today was a lot better. Idk why I took Benadryl at work. Some girl told me to get some and I did without thinking about the fact it would make me sleepy. The rest of the day, I just wanted to lay on the floor. xD


You're welcome.

Good to hear you got through it.

Sounds like a practical joke with that girl.

With sleepy, what is that, two moons.

No, just thē lights for the meat section. :b


----------



## harrison

Tired and a bit down - I miss my old life.


----------



## karenw

Good. Ive arranged to see our dogs.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Tired and a bit down - I miss my old life.


Sorry to hear mate.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sorry to hear mate.


Thanks mate - had a long talk to my son on the phone and also with my wife again today so feeling a bit better now. Hope you're having a good weekend.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - had a long talk to my son on the phone and also with my wife again today so feeling a bit better now. Hope you're having a good weekend.


You're welcome mate.

Good to hear that you feel a bit better.

Ok, quiet weekend.


----------



## BeeCharmer

Overwhelmingly sad.
I want to be re-born and start over again. :crying:


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I probably shouldn't have waited until I started getting indigestion from eating those sunflower seeds. The worst thing about it is I've done it before. More than once. The results are not pleasant and I just stupidly keep doing it. :lol

In summary, I feel like I ate way too many sunflower seeds. :doh


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Dreary.


----------



## SparklingWater

Ready to move on and move past all this.


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless garbage. It's proved to me everyday. No hug emojis, please. Doesn't actually help, thanks.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Smiling as this dog is soooo cute at 0:28+.


* *












Woops. :b


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kind of sick. My nose started getting more stuffy. Guess I'll have to be a mouth breather for about a week.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Sorry to hear.

Usually a sign to keep warm (same temp inside and out). Also blowing nose, wiping helps too.

I hope it corrects itself by keeping same temp.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Crisigv said:


> Worthless garbage. It's proved to me everyday. No hug emojis, please. Doesn't actually help, thanks.


Don't you want to feel better about yourself? You really have to start seeing yourself in a better light than what you been doing. The more worthless talk you do the more you shall be. I not say this to offend you but to get you to realize that your mindset is your downfall. You need to tell yourself "I am worthy." Say good things about yourself instead of bad words. Make it a habit. Believe it. Write good things down about yourself. If it is someone who is hurting you or giving you a bad opinion about yourself then don't listen to them. Be kind to yourself. For whatever did it to to you? Do things to lift up your spirits. Listen to high spirited music, read inspirational articles, real self help books, keep going, keep going. You have to start somewhere. You are your only downfall. Who do you want to be?

I really hope your spirits will change. I hate to see your spirits constantly low. It is not good for the soul. You should really put some effort to it. A new song. Not a depressive song. See yourself in a better light.
:squeeze
 Hugs help, love help, words of comfort help. God help, and seeing yourself in a better light helps.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> Sorry to hear.
> 
> Usually a sign to keep warm (same temp inside and out). Also blowing nose, wiping helps too.
> 
> I hope it corrects itself by keeping same temp.


Now I regret wanting this cold weather. :haha Jk.

I blew my nose a bunch of times but it doesnt help for stuffy noses much. Yet, you still want to blow it like something is going to come out. I got Benadryl but it'll make me very sleepy so I'll take some before bed.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Now I regret wanting this cold weather. :haha Jk.
> 
> I blew my nose a bunch of times but it doesnt help for stuffy noses. Yet, you still want to blow it like something is going to come out. I got Benadryl but it'll make me very sleepy so I'll take some before bed.


I used Irish Moss and it makes the liquid nose go solid.

Usually if keep warm the nose stops being liquid like. Then blow, wipe nose and all gone.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I used Irish Moss and it makes the liquid nose go solid.
> 
> Usually if keep warm the nose stops being liquid like. Then blow, wipe nose and all gone.


So if I wear my jacket and stay under the covers that should help?

I notice my nose temporarily gets more clear if I walk around and I just got done brushing my teeth. I think the strong smell helped. :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> So if I wear my jacket and stay under the covers that should help?


Covers over throat area. Same with jacket to cover throat area or use a warm scarf.

When have a cold the temperature rises if test it by thermo.

Usually what starts a cold is the body being too cold or too hot.

Each age range has a different temp for when a cold happens, breaks.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I notice my nose temporarily gets more clear if I walk around and I just got done brushing my teeth. I think the strong smell helped. :lol


Nose sniffer thingy me bob for colds helps. :yes


----------



## Crisigv

Fun Spirit said:


> Don't you want to feel better about yourself? You really have to start seeing yourself in a better light than what you been doing. The more worthless talk you do the more you shall be. I not say this to offend you but to get you to realize that your mindset is your downfall. You need to tell yourself "I am worthy." Say good things about yourself instead of bad words. Make it a habit. Believe it. Write good things down about yourself. If it is someone who is hurting you or giving you a bad opinion about yourself then don't listen to them. Be kind to yourself. For whatever did it to to you? Do things to lift up your spirits. Listen to high spirited music, read inspirational articles, real self help books, keep going, keep going. You have to start somewhere. You are your only downfall. Who do you want to be?
> 
> I really hope your spirits will change. I hate to see your spirits constantly low. It is not good for the soul. You should really put some effort to it. A new song. Not a depressive song. See yourself in a better light.
> :squeeze
> Hugs help, love help, words of comfort help. God help, and seeing yourself in a better light helps.


I'm beyond help, but thanks.


----------



## Graeme1988

No great... I think I’ve got an inner ear infection in my left ear. It’s been quite sore for a couple days.

And just as I was grieving the loss of one of my uncles, another one died on Friday there, and my mother and I only got told yesterday (Sunday).


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Graeme1988

I hope the ear infection goes away with treatment, time.

Sorry to hear about your lost loved one mate. 

R.I.P.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, stressed, depressed.

Lots on mind, lots to do.

That is life.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Covers over throat area. Same with jacket to cover throat area or use a warm scarf.
> 
> When have a cold the temperature rises if test it by thermo.
> 
> Usually what starts a cold is the body being too cold or too hot.
> 
> Each age range has a different temp for when a cold happens, breaks.
> 
> Nose sniffer thingy me bob for colds helps. :yes


I havent had a cold this bad in like over 2 years so its possibly the sudden change in weather from really hot to really cold, too. It was pretty cold yesterday and the day before.

Ah okay. Good idea. I think I have a scarf somewhere.

I put a warm rag over my nose and that helped for a little while to where I didn't have to breathe through my mouth. I love being able to breathe good so I really dread colds but mine always seem to last exactly a week for some reason.


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I havent had a cold this bad in like over 2 years so its possibly the sudden change in weather from really hot to really cold, too. It was pretty cold yesterday and the day before.
> 
> Ah okay. Good idea. I think I have a scarf somewhere.
> 
> I put a warm rag over my nose and that helped for a little while to where I didn't have to breathe through my mouth. I love being able to breathe good so I really dread colds but mine always seem to last exactly a week for some reason.


I hope you feel better soon!


----------



## harrison

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I havent had a cold this bad in like over 2 years so its possibly the sudden change in weather from really hot to really cold, too. It was pretty cold yesterday and the day before.
> 
> Ah okay. Good idea. I think I have a scarf somewhere.
> 
> I put a warm rag over my nose and that helped for a little while to where I didn't have to breathe through my mouth. I love being able to breathe good so I really dread colds *but mine always seem to last exactly a week for some reason.*


One of the GP's I see made a joke about how long a cold usually lasts for - it was something like if you don't do anything it will last about a week but if you take Vitamin C and have lots of hot drinks it will last 7 days. 

Hope you feel better soon anyway. Stay in bed and rest and have hot lemon and honey drinks. That usually helps a bit.


----------



## harrison

Tired, still a bit dizzy. Left over from the migraine yesterday - they seem to last a couple of days now.

I also can't believe what a process it is just to get a new psychiatrist. Such a hassle.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I havent had a cold this bad in like over 2 years so its possibly the sudden change in weather from really hot to really cold, too. It was pretty cold yesterday and the day before.
> 
> Ah okay. Good idea. I think I have a scarf somewhere.
> 
> I put a warm rag over my nose and that helped for a little while to where I didn't have to breathe through my mouth. I love being able to breathe good so I really dread colds but mine always seem to last exactly a week for some reason.


Change in temperature gets older people colds as well. Quite common.

The internal body temperature is the one you watch via thermo. Can actually see it drop (degree to half a degree sometimes) and then suddenly cold breaks. Quite fascinating how the human body works.

Can buy cheap heart rate monitors, etc online (20 clam shells or maybe more or less). Cheap way to check your own health stats if curious.

Can get a bowl and fill with hot water. Then put a towel over head, head over bowl.

Probably just a normal cold and have a good immune system.



lily said:


> @Graeme1988
> 
> I hope you guys feel better soon! What are the lots of things you've got to do Mondo?


Thank you for the kind words lily. Much appreciated.

Involves other peoples business which I'm not allowed to talk about.

Have to respect their wishes.



harrison said:


> Tired, still a bit dizzy. Left over from the migraine yesterday - they seem to last a couple of days now.
> 
> I also can't believe what a process it is just to get a new psychiatrist. Such a hassle.


:sigh


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I_Exist said:


> I hope you feel better soon!


Thanks.  I'm sure I will. 
@harrison Alright.  I'll do whatever I can in these next 7 days. That sneeze I had helped for about an hour earlier. One thing I like about sneezing when I have a cold. It clears the nose. Its stuffy again, though but hopefully that Benadryl I take tonight will help.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> You're welcome Mondo!






lily said:


> I see! np


If you told me that I can't I wouldn't. Unless you say it is ok to.



lily said:


> @PurplePeopleEater, I hope you feel better soon too!


Same here, hope you feel better soon Purple.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@lily Thanks.  Just had some tomato soup and watermelon even though I couldn't taste it at all. 
@Mondo_Fernando Thanks Mondo.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

You're welcome.


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @Graeme1988
> 
> I hope the ear infection goes away with treatment, time.
> 
> Sorry to hear about your lost loved one mate.
> 
> R.I.P.


Thanks, Mondo. It's not be a great few weeks for me. 

This ear infection was the last thing I needed to be honest. Stressing about money regarding Christmas presents was bad enough. That'll be another family argument, no doubt. 



lily said:


> @Graeme1988
> 
> I hope you guys feel better soon!


Thanks lily.


----------



## Kevin001

Not bad going to be long day though.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> Thanks, Mondo. It's not be a great few weeks for me.


You're welcome mate.



Graeme1988 said:


> This ear infection was the last thing I needed to be honest. Stressing about money regarding Christmas presents was bad enough. That'll be another family argument, no doubt.


I hope the week goes ok without problems.

Stress doesn't help with health issues. Find a way to distract mind and relax.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I feel much better today but I'm still sick. Whatever I did last night sure helped wonders.


----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

Hearing people talk about buying houses is triggering to me


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Kevin001 said:


> Not bad going to be long day though.


I hope is going to be a good day.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I feel much better today but I'm still sick. Whatever I did last night sure helped wonders.


Good to hear thät are getting better.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Good to hear thät are getting better.


Well the good feeling lasted 8 hours until I got home. Then it got bad again. :sus


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Well the good feeling lasted 8 hours until I got home. Then it got bad again. :sus


Awww. :hug

We will have to investigate. :sus


----------



## Jessica Smith Sure

harrison said:


> You've been to Bali? What country are you from?
> 
> Not sure if Mondo will ever really feel like meeting up there some time - I used to joke that we should have a place up there one day where we can all go and live or stay for a while - but that was before everyone either got banned or just stopped posting on here.
> 
> I wouldn't have a problem meeting up with anyone - but many here are pretty shy, or maybe just very private.


I have been to Bali on a solo trip it was great. I don't mind meeting you guys and share a house.

Why were people banned on here. What did they do?


----------



## Deaf Mute

Wishful Thinking


----------



## SamanthaStrange

So alone.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> So alone.


Sorry to hear Sammy, where is @Suchness?

Lexi is on the job with waking him up......


* *












:O


----------



## harrison

Jessica Smith Sure said:


> I have been to Bali on a solo trip it was great. I don't mind meeting you guys and share a house.
> 
> Why were people banned on here. What did they do?


I'm not sure why they were banned - plus they don't like us talking about banned people anyway.  (half the time I don't even know though)

That's great you've been to Bali - what parts did you go to? Did you go up to Ubud at all?


----------



## Suchness

Had one of the worst nights in a long time.


----------



## Shyy22

Been feeling depressed lately


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Suchness said:


> Had one of the worst nights in a long time.


Aww. 

Mate, what are we going to do about that?

Suddenly.........


* *












Go such, go such, wooooooo. :yes


----------



## Suchness

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Aww.
> 
> Mate, what are we going to do about that?
> 
> Suddenly.........
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Go such, go such, wooooooo. :yes


It's a secret, shhhh.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Suchness said:


> It's a secret, shhhh.


Feeling that Such is taking it to the next level @Fun Spirit @A Toxic Butterfly @SamanthaStrange

Then later that night many years later.....


* *













* *












Keeping those smooth moves to yourself, damn boyo. :O


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

For @Fun Spirit birthday.....


* *


----------



## BeeCharmer

Why bother with anything anymore.
So far out to sea now, I can't see any land or birds. :afr


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> I'm so sad. I don't know if someone likes me or not and I need a friend that I enjoy being with to talk to


Awww. :hug

Got us lily.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> Thank you. I got you and I do have others at times :hug
> but I need real life too and a lot


You're welcome.

Of course you have us. :hug

In real life, hmmm.

Big Teddy Bear, put printed face of one of us on that, we make a "aha" recording, done.  :b

Just have to joke around to be happy. Can't take life seriously all the time.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> haha! It's not about taking life seriously all the time but we all need at least one friend that we like who is suitable for us.


That is why we have Panda's. Cute but trouble.


----------



## Jessica Smith Sure

Shyy22 said:


> Been feeling depressed lately


Are you okay? You can talk to us if you like


----------



## Shyy22

Jessica Smith Sure said:


> Are you okay? You can talk to us if you like


I'm struggling to keep a job due to my anxiety. I recently got hired but I'm not sure if I'll quit or not(I've done that a lot in the past). I honestly just feel like I failed in life because I see people that are my age (26) and they're already married,have kids etc (taking those big steps in life). And I'm also stressing about how I'm not in a relationship ..I don't wanna stay single forever - I'm almost in my 30s.. I have no friends. And I still live with family. I'm actually feeling a lil better now. Thank you for letting me vent


----------



## Fun Spirit

Mondo_Fernando said:


> For @Fun Spirit birthday.....
> 
> 
> * *


;D Thanks Groot ;D
;D That was groot-vy video;D

@Suchness: I hope you will have a better night tonight


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Fun Spirit said:


> ;D Thanks Groot ;D


You're welcome.



Fun Spirit said:


> ;D That was groot-vy video;D


:yes



Fun Spirit said:


> @Suchness: I hope you will have a better night tonight


Yeah, what she said mate. :yes


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Refreshed. This tomato basil soup is delicious. I still have a cold but it hasnt been stopped up since the day before yesterday.


----------



## Graeme1988

My life just does'nae get any better... 

Now, thanks to my oldest sister, not only have got to be f&#8230;ckin' hyper aware of my own health issues, but our mother's as well. As if I haven't been for the last 16 years. :bash

It's always me - burdened with responsibility, blamed for nearly everything. Quite surprised I've yet to be accused of not doing enough for my mother, to help her. Despite the fact she never makes the effort to change her ways in general. Or do things to help elevate some of her health problems.

_Naw! Just complain endlessly about yer problems, about how crap yer life has become. Why bother making the effort to change? Why be happy? Just plaster on a fake smile n' pretend everything's f&#8230;ckin' fan-dappy-dozy!_ :boogie _When in actual fact, it's $h!%*_ :cry


----------



## zonebox

As much of a pain in the *** my mother in law could be, I do miss her at times. She had all sorts of mental problems plus she was as stubborn as an Ox and was very hard to get along with, but I could look past those problems and with some effort get past her stubbornness and pull her around to reason. I am reminded of her absence every now and then and feel the tinge of pain tug at me. It is not significant, just a dull ache that lingers for a little while.

So, for the moment, I feel a sense of loss - nothing tragic and beyond my control. I let it exist because I think my memory of her deserves it, at least according to my own sense of ethics. The very least I feel I can do is honor her memory, even if she is no longer here to appreciate it.

RIP mom, you are missed even after all of this time <3


----------



## Suchness

A lot better than yesterday that's for sure.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Grumpy.


----------



## TheReflectingFlux

SamanthaStrange said:


> Grumpy.


Sorry


----------



## SamanthaStrange

TheReflectingFlux said:


> Sorry


You should be.


----------



## TheReflectingFlux

SamanthaStrange said:


> You should be.


Agreed. The timing was terrible but I had leave for the sake of my sanity. Still shiitt tho and I'm genuinely sorry about that


----------



## SamanthaStrange

TheReflectingFlux said:


> Agreed. The timing was terrible but I had leave for the sake of my sanity. Still shiitt tho and I'm genuinely sorry about that


I had a feeling that was you when I saw the username.


----------



## TheReflectingFlux

SamanthaStrange said:


> I had a feeling that was you when I saw the username.


I tried returning in person but the door was locked. Surprised you recognised me tbh given I'm wearing a wig and haven't shaved my pubes in months


----------



## Crisigv

Horrible. I just want to die.


----------



## harrison

Bit manic - much better than the anxious mess I was this morning.


----------



## Crisigv

Unloved, unwanted, a burden, ugly, fat, a failure. I'm a joke.


----------



## Citrine79

Wow...my anxiety is off the charts right now, hasn’t been this bad in months. My weekend plans are going to be ruined as I know I will be worrying non-stop and the anxiety will not go away. I am afraid a meltdown or panic attack is on the horizon very soonz


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Annoyed. I was telling the woman I live with that I have a cold. I told her I had it for 5 days then shes like what are you talking about? I've had mine for two weeks.

Uh, okay. Its not a competition to see who has it the worst you grumpy old lady. :roll She's the type of woman who would be glad if I got sick from pneumonia and died.

Never heard of anyone having a cold for two weeks anyways.


----------



## harrison

Very tired. I think a truck must have hit me when I wasn't looking.


----------



## Euripides

Overwhelmingly, intrinsically, unquestionably worthless. 

And there's the most profound proofs, continually being proven still, of it being so. I feel right now that I can't bear like this anymore, again.

And I have a deep and frustrated guilt over the cowardly, laughable, and only further value-debasing fact that I did not fall unto my sword when it was "honourable."

To be left to wither willingly in that tormenting oubliette, or to struggle against it and dash myself against the rocks, till the rocks give way to the desperate, weeping tide?

I remember. I always. Always remember. Meditations I will never wake from.

Duty.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm hopeless. Just waiting to die, or at least until I get the courage to end everything.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Feeling very depressed.

But had some people be nice towards me which lifted my spirits a bit.

Thank you for being so kind.


----------



## TopShelfHeart

Annoyed at the panic quitting


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Feeling very depressed.
> 
> But had some people be nice towards me which lifted my spirits a bit.
> 
> Thank you for being so kind.


Hang in there mate - things will get better.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Hang in there mate - things will get better.


Thank you for your kind words mate.

I hope things will get better for all of us on here.


----------



## Blue Dino

The feeling that your brain is trying hard to convince you... that particular person is upset and pissed at you. 



This time though, I am pretty positive someone made up a lie to convince and manipulate that person to be upset at me, for their own selfish social and relationship gain. Base on recurring personal experience. Some people are just plain petty. Unfortunately, most people that cross paths with them will never find out about this side of them.


----------



## funnynihilist

I can feel all my winter mental issues creeping in


----------



## Rotted

sad and lonely


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored. Lonely.


----------



## Musicfan

Mondo_Fernando said:


> *I hope things will get better for all of us on here.*


x2 :yes


----------



## Neddy123

Resigned


----------



## komorikun

Lots of vivid irritating/torturous dreams. Not sure why. I didn't take melatonin or diphenhydramine (aka benadryl).

Tried to force myself out of the irritating dream but then I felt that weird muscle atonia you get when in REM. Not sleep paralysis but more like muscles have obviously been set to the OFF switch. Sleep is freaky.


----------



## Callum96

Anxious as ****. Off to a gig on my own shortly, but not quite drunk enough yet. I need to leave in 15 minutes though so I better get a move on..


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Musicfan said:


> x2 :yes


:yes


----------



## harrison

Slightly heavy in the head, bit tired - but also a bit wired. I keep having to stop myself from calling my wife to tell her everything that's in my head. Leave the poor woman alone for God's sake.


----------



## funnynihilist

Bloated


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Slightly heavy in the head, bit tired - but also a bit wired. I keep having to stop myself from calling my wife to tell her everything that's in my head. Leave the poor woman alone for God's sake.


Reminds me of this guy from the 80's....


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Reminds me of this guy from the 80's....


That's guy's fantastic! Made me laugh mate. 

The real problem with me is that when I get like this it's just hard to keep my thoughts inside my head. It's like you have to externalise all of them. (I even want to do it with people on the tram.)

(probably just as well my wife and I don't live together anymore - it's criminal what that woman has to put up with sometimes) :roll


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> That's guy's fantastic! Made me laugh mate.
> 
> The real problem with me is that when I get like this it's just hard to keep my thoughts inside my head. It's like you have to externalise all of them. (I even want to do it with people on the tram.)
> 
> (probably just as well my wife and I don't live together anymore - it's criminal what that woman has to put up with sometimes) :roll


Amazing that he rarely trips up. :O

It happens, something that don't have control over sometimes.

I have seen / noticed the same thoughts over and over when talking.

Some people think it is something people can snap out of (like a behaviour change). :no


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Amazing that he rarely trips up. :O
> 
> It happens, something that don't have control over sometimes.
> 
> I have seen / noticed the same thoughts over and over when talking.
> 
> Some people think it is something people can snap out of (like a behaviour change). :no


Yeah, it's very hard to stop yourself from doing it. It's like wanting to buy everything. I can do it but it's very hard. Some times are worse than others though.

Right now I'm trying to stop myself from buying a huge Tv that's on sale at JB Hifi - they're magnificent.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Yeah, it's very hard to stop yourself from doing it. It's like wanting to buy everything. I can do it but it's very hard. Some times are worse than others though.


Imagine if it was cheese in a store, must buy chedder, chedder, chedder. :yes :yes :yes

Monster chedder cake (holy music is played). :O

Just a scenario in a movie or TV show where can add some comedy to make it seem normal.



harrison said:


> Right now I'm trying to stop myself from buying a huge Tv that's on sale at JB Hifi - they're magnificent.


Jumbo Tron man cave toy. :O  :b


----------



## Graeme1988

Depressed. Pissed off. Ah supposed trapped would be the best way to describe the past 2 years of my life. Quite shocked ah huv’nae went back to the drink; I’m certainly depressed enough for booze to be viable option.

It seems I’ll never make certain relatives of mine happy; no matter what I do, it’s never ever good enough. 

Don’t know why I even bother trying to be honest. :stu


----------



## zonebox

Pretty sweet, I'm on my fourth drink at the moment, I'm playing a game and riding my horse through a cemetery, in real life my dog is hanging out with me, I've you, fine folks, to chat with. I've also with my virtual friend I alt-tab to every now and then. In the next room over, I have a project to keep me occupied for the next few weeks. Overall, this has been a pretty cool weekend.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@zonebox

Us fine folks. :blush


----------



## zonebox

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @zonebox
> 
> Us fine folks. :blush


Credit where it is due, this forum is the only place on the web I actually feel comfortable to socialize on. You all are pretty awesome.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

zonebox said:


> Credit where it is due, this forum is the only place on the web I actually feel comfortable to socialize on. You all are pretty awesome.


But, but, but you are awesome too. :yes


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and lonely, and a reject.


----------



## Tiara Arjun

today I have a very depressed state


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

I feel depressed too mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Sad and lonely, and a reject.


Thinking we all feel that way at one time or another.

I'm hoping things get better for you.

Stay strong, chin up.


----------



## Citrine79

Terrible...sad, lonely, very anxious and worried. Utterly hopeless.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## RedHouse

BeeCharmer said:


> Overwhelmingly sad.
> I want to be re-born and start over again. :crying:


Yeap same ,wish I had that remote in Adam Sandler's movie "Click"....but this is all the universe has for us,no second tries:crying: stay strong my friend,you will be alright


----------



## RedHouse

Tiara Arjun said:


> today I have a very depressed state


sorry to hear that bro, hope you will get through it.Sleep it off or netflix past it, thats what I do on bad days.Hope it helps


----------



## RedHouse

Crisigv said:


> Sad and lonely, and a reject.


its ironic I want to tell you to stop feeling that way but I myself am feeling that way but stay positive and dont beat yourself too much.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Citrine79 said:


> Terrible...sad, lonely, very anxious and worried. Utterly hopeless.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Awww. :hug

Try doing some things to distract yourself from worrying thoughts.

Things that help take the worry away, move forward in life.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> Nice to hear from you if you like to hear from me. I'm very much in the dark too.


 Sorry to hear that, lily. I hope your mood lifts soon and things get better for you. :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely.

Those are the cards I'm dealt with in life.

Royal Flush.


----------



## funnynihilist

Bad and sad


----------



## The Library of Emma

I had a good experience in my workplace. In this one isolated incident, I didn't think to be anxious. I used listening skills, communicated, and resolved a problem. I had confidence in my own competence- and I was competent.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Phel

Wow. That is awesome.

Winnie from The Wonder Years TV show.

Everyone Knows It's Winnie. :yes


* *












At 1:05+ almost all..... :O

At 1:27+ I ya, I um ya. :O :lol


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So I'm glad I'm working Thanksgiving day. I texted my mother to let her know. She's probably disappointed she wont get to see me that day but told me to go ahead and take Christmas Eve off. Well, if that other woman will work on Christmas Eve then maybe I will but I highly doubt it. My mother seems to want me to see her for Christmas. I'm not really a fan of Christmas or anything but my family has always been super festive so it's a chance to get out and do something. Some families probably never have this opportunity every chance they can get so I'm not taking it for granted. Some people get offended when people like to enjoy the holidays, which is retarded but whatever.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Enjoy your parents company while you can.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> Enjoy your parents company while you can.


Thats true.  Well now I'm thinking about working during Christmas and taking Thanksgiving day off cause my mother asked if it was more important to me when I said it would be better to get Christmas Eve off and it made me feel bad. I mean, really theres more to do around Christmas time whereas during Thanksgiving, it's just eating. I wanted to buy another gift for her for Christmas too though.

But I dont have friends I hang out with so I have every right to want to go out during the holidays. Gives me something that I can do with family instead of something I can do by myself. And I will also freely enjoy my pumpkin flavored things without people getting offended by that too. I wonder if these kinds of people really get offended by this stuff. I have heard people say they do. I wouldn't be surprised though. :lol


----------



## leaf in the wind

Slightly disturbed... I thought I was being followed by a white caravan on my way to my parents'. It stopped next to me on the sidewalk, then would drive ahead and stop at another available spot on the sidewalk further down. But I brushed it off as paranoia since it drove away eventually.

Then on my walk back home, the same caravan appears on the same street!! This time when it pulled over, the driver called out to me. Da***? 

I pretended I couldn't hear and didn't look at him, and he drove off after a few moments. I turned off my music and was looking all around the rest of the way home :eek


----------



## 0589471

leaf in the wind said:


> Slightly disturbed... I thought I was being followed by a white caravan on my way to my parents'. It stopped next to me on the sidewalk, then would drive ahead and stop at another available spot on the sidewalk further down. But I brushed it off as paranoia since it drove away eventually.
> 
> Then on my walk back home, the same caravan appears on the same street!! This time when it pulled over, the driver called out to me. Da***?
> 
> I pretended I couldn't hear and didn't look at him, and he drove off after a few moments. I turned off my music and was looking all around the rest of the way home :eek


Yeah that's REALLY unsettling, glad you're safe. We've had a few incidents around here that sounded like that, and we get warnings about human trafficking a lot, specifically toward young women. Always be on alert, it's a serious thing that happens all the time. :squeeze


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thats true.  Well now I'm thinking about working during Christmas and taking Thanksgiving day off cause my mother asked if it was more important to me when I said it would be better to get Christmas Eve off and it made me feel bad. I mean, really theres more to do around Christmas time whereas during Thanksgiving, it's just eating. I wanted to buy another gift for her for Christmas too though.


Spoil her while you can. :yes

Mums put a lot into their kids, even sacrifice a lot of things (go without sometimes). Just part of being a parent. That is why it is important to give back if you can.

Can tell your mum brought up a great daughter, just look at what you have achieved and how great you are. :yes



PurplePeopleEater said:


> But I dont have friends I hang out with so I have every right to want to go out during the holidays. Gives me something that I can do with family instead of something I can do by myself. And I will also freely enjoy my pumpkin flavored things without people getting offended by that too. I wonder if these kinds of people really get offended by this stuff. I have heard people say they do. I wouldn't be surprised though. :lol


Lots of time in life to do things by yourself, as live longer.

Maybe get pumpkin caught in your teeth and people stare at that. :sus :stu


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

leaf in the wind said:


> Slightly disturbed... I thought I was being followed by a white caravan on my way to my parents'. It stopped next to me on the sidewalk, then would drive ahead and stop at another available spot on the sidewalk further down. But I brushed it off as paranoia since it drove away eventually.
> 
> Then on my walk back home, the same caravan appears on the same street!! This time when it pulled over, the driver called out to me. Da***?
> 
> I pretended I couldn't hear and didn't look at him, and he drove off after a few moments. I turned off my music and was looking all around the rest of the way home :eek


Good to hear that you are ok. :yes


----------



## Deaf Mute




----------



## andy1984

I ought to feel like **** but I only feel tired and a smidgen nauseous.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Spoil her while you can. :yes
> 
> Mums put a lot into their kids, even sacrifice a lot of things (go without sometimes). Just part of being a parent. That is why it is important to give back if you can.
> 
> Can tell your mum brought up a great daughter, just look at what you have achieved and how great you are. :yes
> 
> Lots of time in life to do things by yourself, as live longer.
> 
> Maybe get pumpkin caught in your teeth and people stare at that. :sus :stu


My mother is slightly annoying me honestly. I wish she would make up her mind. It's like shes guilt tripping me into going over for Thanksgiving instead of Christmas cause she asked if that was more important to me. And I didnt even say I was going to take both holidays off and she tells me I should work one holiday and then my coworker work another which is a no brainer. I just told her I'm working both holidays cause I started to get slightly annoyed. Then she asks dont you want to come over for Christmas Eve? She makes the smallest things very difficult sometimes. :sigh So forget it. I just wont see her for either holiday cause it's like she wants me to come for Thanksgiving but then is like well dont you want to come over for Christmas Eve so this is just really unnecessary. She probably isn't guilt tripping me but she wont seem to make up her mind. So I'm just not in a very good mood cause of it right now.

Even this other woman whose husband sexually harasses me acts like she wants to see me all the damn time and I'm getting tired of that too cause he is always around her then she acts surprised when I dont want to see her. Well maybe I dont want to be harassed by your creepy boyfriend is what I really want to tell her. I get unwanted attention. I dont see how she allows him to tell me that I have a nice body and stuff. Its very uncomfortable and she knows better too. Shes putting me into a trap.

And besides that he kept getting on to me about how I should do this a certain way or that a certain way all over how I was eating my stupid food. He is very controlling. I just wish she would stop calling me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> My mother is slightly annoying me honestly. I wish she would make up her mind. It's like shes guilt tripping me into going over for Thanksgiving instead of Christmas cause she asked if that was more important to me. And I didnt even say I was going to take both holidays off and she tells me I should work one holiday and then my coworker work another which is a no brainer. I just told her I'm working both holidays cause I started to get slightly annoyed. Then she asks dont you want to come over for Christmas Eve? She makes the smallest things very difficult sometimes. :sigh So forget it. I just wont see her for either holiday cause it's like she wants me to come for Thanksgiving but then is like well dont you want to come over for Christmas Eve so this is just really unnecessary. She probably isn't guilt tripping me but she wont seem to make up her mind. So I'm just not in a very good mood cause of it right now.


Your mum obviously wants to see her baby (you).

She is just saying to make a decision based on importance of each day, but is not elaborating as to what she means by that.

I'll elaborate based on what I think she means. For example, Christmas day is a holiday as nearly everyone gets Christmas day off. So Christmas Eve makes sense to visit her, family.

After Christmas is when everything is cheaper, so aim for the day after Christmas if shopping.

Same with Thanksgiving.

Can easily make the decision on how busy the store is at that time of year, as obviously you'll need to be there when busy or not busy if don't want to be stressed out.

Basically she probably doesn't know your work schedule (days off), how busy the store is and is leaving the decision up to you.

You have a great mum and she probably doesn't know you are not sure what to do. Maybe you don't want to say for whatever reason which is ok.

Nothing to stress about. You got this sorted manager Purple. :yes



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Even this other woman whose husband sexually harasses me acts like she wants to see me all the damn time and I'm getting tired of that too cause he is always around her then she acts surprised when I dont want to see her. Well maybe I dont want to be harassed by your creepy boyfriend is what I really want to tell her. I get unwanted attention. I dont see how she allows him to tell me that I have a nice body and stuff. Its very uncomfortable and she knows better too. Shes putting me into a trap.


She is probably seeing it as a compliment. Probably a reflection of how she is raised by her parents.

Sometimes find couples think the same (similar personality). So if he is that way, maybe she is too deep down behind it all (may put on a front / false face). Red flags big time and a big red warning sign saying Danger Purple Danger. Your gut instinct is usually right. Listen to it if it is telling you something is wrong.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> And besides that he kept getting on to me about how I should do this a certain way or that a certain way all over how I was eating my stupid food. He is very controlling. I just wish she would stop calling me.


Could change phones, phone numbers. From what I understand, can change phone numbers by changing SIM? card and copying over important info onto like a SD card that can add to a phone (card that sits next to SIM card under the battery). Or write info, phone numbers down on paper and input later on as needed.

Then no way she can contact you, as doesn't have the phone number.

If at work, avoid her if possible. Don't be rude by looking at them and then catching you doing so, then running away. Just look busy and be busy somewhere away from them.

It is just an option to look into.

I'm only suggesting options that you can look into and you make your own decision. At the end of the day it is your decision.


----------



## Suchness

Deaf Mute said:


>


Soju.


----------



## Suchness

I'm grateful that I have the ability to create the reality I want to experience.


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Sorry to hear that, lily. I hope your mood lifts soon and things get better for you. :squeeze


Thanks for your comfort Graeme. praying for you that God helps you in your difficult time :squeeze
You can watch on YouTube Joel Osteen at www.joelosteen.com He talks a lot about how God works. There is a God who is our Helper.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel so bad, my cat had to get a tooth pulled today. :cry He's still feeling groggy.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando I love my mother and didnt mean to come off as I was angry at her or anything. But it did annoy me earlier with how she kept seeming indecisive about a decision I was trying to make. But I guess she was just trying to make sure of what day I wanted to get off. I'm definitely not stressing over it, though. So hopefully I'll be able to see her one of the days.  I've never known my mother to guilt trip me into anything so I wasnt sure she was but was starting to think so for awhile. Everytime I see her in person, we always talk a lot and have fun so I treat my mother with respect and enjoy her company.

And theres definitely red flags all over the place for sure. He's never tried to touch me, which would be a lot creepier.

Only thing that sucks is as long as I'm living in my current situation these people will keep in contact with me cause the man that lives here is related to the other man that harassed me. They're brothers. I'm really not sure what else to do other than just avoiding them as much as possible. :/

Maybe she doesnt see him as creepy by complimenting me so not sure as to what's going on. Theres more to it for sure.


----------



## Deaf Mute

Suchness said:


> Soju.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando I love my mother and didnt mean to come off as I was angry at her or anything. But it did annoy me earlier with how she kept seeming indecisive about a decision I was trying to make. But I guess she was just trying to make sure of what day I wanted to get off.


Some people talk in what is known as shorthand without elaborting.

:yes, the right day and giving you freedom to make that choice.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm definitely not stressing over it, though. So hopefully I'll be able to see her one of the days.  I've never known my mother to guilt trip me into anything so I wasnt sure she was but was starting to think so for awhile. Everytime I see her in person, we always talk a lot and have fun so I treat my mother with respect and enjoy her company.


Like you she is a great woman. :yes



PurplePeopleEater said:


> And theres definitely red flags all over the place for sure. He's never tried to touch me, which would be a lot creepier.


:yes



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Only thing that sucks is as long as I'm living in my current situation these people will keep in contact with me cause the man that lives here is related to the other man that harassed me. They're brothers. I'm really not sure what else to do other than just avoiding them as much as possible. :/


Avoid as much as you can until change situation.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Maybe she doesnt see him as creepy by complimenting me so not sure as to what's going on. Theres more to it for sure.


Some guys like complimenting to be friendly or think are being kind to women.

I have done it myself, said a woman looked nicely dressed (she did look nicely dressed).

But body is probably getting a bit too personal, but men do notice nice figures with women. But usually don't say it infront of women. Maybe to other men.

She might even have brothers, so doesn't think the behaviour is inappropriate as is used to it.

I noticed some women with brothers can be just as bad in the way they look at men or talk about men. So get it on both sides.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando




----------



## Suchness

Deaf Mute said:


>


I miss you baby.


----------



## funnynihilist

Ate too many beans


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

funnynihilist said:


> Ate too many beans


You know what that means....


* *


----------



## Crisigv

like garbage


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Could be better


----------



## Rotted

I think i`m okay


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Annoyed. what's the point of being a manager if I cant take a holiday off? I have to work every holiday. When I wasnt a manager I worked every holiday and now that I'm a manager I still have to work every holiday. So stupid.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Sorry to hear. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Old, lonely.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

This stuffy nose is driving me mad.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Old, lonely.


Definitely not old mate.


----------



## Replicante

Tired


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Definitely not old mate.


Feel old.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel kind of dizzy and nauseated. :blank


----------



## Mondo_Fernando




----------



## ThatGuy0

Like crap. Not to be negative, but I feel like their is a category of people (including me) that are never going to like, wanted and accepted into society. Whenever I try socializing people ignore me. It's like I don't exist. People exclude me from events. I have been bullied for year because I'm slightly plump. Further my parents always criticize me and compare me to my brother. Sometimes, I lock my rooms door and cry silently to release my emotion and later smile to show the world I'm fine. I tried opening up to my parents, but that didn't go well. So, to answer your question, I feel lonely, unwanted and like crap.


----------



## Crisigv

Quite miserable


----------



## RedHouse

Isolated


----------



## RedHouse

Angry at myself


----------



## Graeme1988

Like there’s a black cloud always hanging over me.  I’m just a failure. A failure at life, really.

Also, dreading spending Christmas with my family, just because it always tense. And I’d much rather be alone. But, no, if I don’t eat the meal with ‘em, I’m an arsehole. And if I excuse myself and don’t stay at the table long enough, I’m a selfish arsehole. Cannae win — just cannot win regardless.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Totally perplexed.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

I'm lonely, nice to meet ya.


----------



## Replicante

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I'm lonely, nice to meet ya.


A Brazilian song to cheer you up, man &#128582;‍♀


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Replicante said:


> A Brazilian song to cheer you up, man &#128582;‍♀


Thanks mate.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I'm lonely, nice to meet ya.


Hope you're doing okay over there mate.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Hope you're doing okay over there mate.


A good day out in the nice sunny weather and now chilling eating dinner while listening to -


* *


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> A good day out in the nice sunny weather and now chilling eating dinner while listening to -
> 
> 
> * *


A man after my own heart mate - I was just listening to a bit of Michael Jackson before myself.

I'm trying to get myself motivated to type all this crap into the laptop about my books. I need a young kid to do it for me - it's a pain in the neck.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> A man after my own heart mate - I was just listening to a bit of Michael Jackson before myself.


Michael Jackson reaches out to many people with his music no matter the age. :yes

When got young kids imitating his moves, says it all. :yes



harrison said:


> I'm trying to get myself motivated to type all this crap into the laptop about my books. I need a young kid to do it for me - it's a pain in the neck.


Data entry, eek. :tiptoe

You need a Tom for that....


* *












Apparently you have to slow down. :O


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Data entry, eek. :tiptoe
> 
> You need a Tom for that....
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Apparently you have to slow down. :O


I love Tom Hanks - he's great. 

Can you imagine me trying to do this crap mate? It's like torture. I need to take a bit of Valium just to be calm enough to do it. I noticed on a book I put on the other day I made a slight mistake in the description - there's an almost imperceptible crease to the front cover. So now I have to change it - and upload photos. It costs about 1500 bucks so people expect the description to be accurate.

Jee, I hate this. I need someone to help me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I love Tom Hanks - he's great.
> 
> Can you imagine me trying to do this crap mate? It's like torture. I need to take a bit of Valium just to be calm enough to do it. I noticed on a book I put on the other day I made a slight mistake in the description - there's an almost imperceptible crease to the front cover. So now I have to change it - and upload photos. It costs about 1500 bucks so people expect the description to be accurate.
> 
> Jee, I hate this. I need someone to help me.


Tom Hanks was good in that Big movie as shown above.

Human and make mistakes mate.

Is your son free, he loves computers. You tell him, he writes / types it down.

Dogs are quite intelligent, oh dog, want to earn a treat? (joking) :O


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Tom Hanks was good in that Big movie as shown above.
> 
> Human and make mistakes mate.
> 
> *Is your son free,* he loves computers. You tell him, he writes / types it down.
> 
> Dogs are quite intelligent, oh dog, want to earn a treat? (joking) :O


No it'd drive him crazy mate - I drive myself crazy. 

This is killing me. I just edited it and now I have to upload the images. Even my wife said it would drive her crazy too - and she's much better at this sort of thing.

I had a personal assistant for a while years ago (actually 2 of them) Maybe I should do that again for a while - just to get these books loaded on. Some of these young people are quite patient. They'd need to be with me that's for sure. :roll


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> No it'd drive him crazy mate - I drive myself crazy.
> 
> This is killing me. I just edited it and now I have to upload the images. Even my wife said it would drive her crazy too - and she's much better at this sort of thing.
> 
> I had a personal assistant for a while years ago (actually 2 of them) Maybe I should do that again for a while - just to get these books loaded on. Some of these young people are quite patient. They'd need to be with me that's for sure. :roll


Ok. Sane it is (joking).

Repetitive work is quite boring at times.

Maybe it might be the solution, less stress on you.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Ok. Sane it is (joking).
> 
> Repetitive work is quite boring at times.
> 
> Maybe it might be the solution, less stress on you.


I just remembered that company where you can find people to do jobs for you - airtasker.

I love their ads.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I just remembered that company where you can find people to do jobs for you - airtasker.
> 
> I love their ads.


One wonders what happened that night before he left. :O


----------



## MCHB

Wasted! 



erm...not in a negative sense mind you and I'm feeling really good cept I'm just really wasted and still going! Reckon I'll feel like crap tomorrow but yeah! I may not identify as a welder anymore but I still put the brews back like one! :3


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> One wonders what happened that night before he left. :O


Haha - fantastic mate. 

Looks like she gave him a bit of a spanking just to see him on his way.


----------



## Lelouch Lamperouge

Sad and like a failure due to realizing how much of a selfish partner I have been to the love of my life. Also have been having trouble with keeping a consistent NoFap streak.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Haha - fantastic mate.
> 
> Looks like she gave him a bit of a spanking just to see him on his way.


After that. :O


----------



## MondKrabbe

Not great. Battling depression is exhausting and its won for the better part of this week and somewhat a couple weeks before. I'm trying to fight through just to at least keep up my visits to the gym and even that's a bit of a losing battle. Desperately want to continue reading my books or playing my video games but I just don't have any urge to follow through. I've tried and I want to get into them but there's no.......desire to do it.

Unfortunately my anxiety has risen up a bit too. Had a couple problems with some teens screwing with my brother's and my property. We caught them and really chewed em out, (one of those a-holes looked like he was ready to cry, I think later his mom was yelling at him/them for screwing around) and its been a couple weeks since so I figured they got the message not to **** with us but the thought of people messing with our stuff really sets me off into these paranoid, anger filled catastrophic thinking episodes.

To add to that anxiety, I've managed to develop a bit of a crush on someone at work. I don't intend to act on it (probably not appropriate since she's a co-worker) but I do daydream about "What if....." somewhat often. I think maybe I just want to spend time with someone in general but the idea of asking anyone for that is gut wrenching. 

Just trying to settle down.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cold. Headache. Blah.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely.


----------



## harrison

Incredible anxiety - just starts before I even get out of bed sometimes and is still there when I get up.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Incredible anxiety - just starts before I even get out of bed sometimes and is still there when I get up.


Sorry to hear that mate.

I find I feel that way after not enough sleep.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Still feeling tired, lonely and been crying.


----------



## PandaBearx




----------



## donistired

I don't feel like I participate in/enjoy life. I feel disengaged, tired, and depressed and I'm kind of wondering why I keep doing this. Just kind of want to cut myself off from everything and give up trying to persist. I'm always on a standstill wondering how other people do and feel the things they do while I can't, and in every way feel mentally, emotionally, socially stuck. All the while I'm trying to be a part of peoples lives, but I don't feel like I have a place with my friends or family. I'm just there.


----------



## Crisigv

I can't even find words to describe how low I feel.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Still feeling tired, lonely and been crying.


Hope you're feeling a bit better now mate.

I had a rough day. The anxiety this morning turned into raging mania - I had to go and have my blood test this morning and so I was pretty crazy in the pathology place - she's a nice girl there though and she said it was okay. Calmed down now. I made an appointment to see a psychologist this Friday for an initial appointment - it's a big place with lots of psychologists, they assess you and see who'd be most suitable.

I think I'll get a new psych too and maybe get on new meds if I can. Not good getting around the city like I was today. Need to try and get a bit more stability in my life.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Hope you're feeling a bit better now mate.
> 
> I had a rough day. The anxiety this morning turned into raging mania - I had to go and have my blood test this morning and so I was pretty crazy in the pathology place - she's a nice girl there though and she said it was okay. Calmed down now. I made an appointment to see a psychologist this Friday for an initial appointment - it's a big place with lots of psychologists, they assess you and see who'd be most suitable.
> 
> I think I'll get a new psych too and maybe get on new meds if I can. Not good getting around the city like I was today. Need to try and get a bit more stability in my life.


After some sleep I am feeling better, thanks mate.

Sorry to hear about that rough day mate. 

I hope new medication works mate.


----------



## user533

not bad today


----------



## harrison

Pretty warm - think it's going to be about 40 today. Plus I think I'm getting a migraine.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Tired, lonely.


:hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Pretty warm - think it's going to be about 40 today. Plus I think I'm getting a migraine.


Damn that is hot. Hope we don't get that.

Sorry to hear about the migraine.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> :hug


Thanks Purple, very kind of you. :hug


----------



## riverbird

Pretty good. I'm feeling hopeful at the moment. I hope it lasts.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Tired.

Going to be pretty damn busy socializing for the rest of the year, starting tomorrow. Bring it on!


----------



## EmotionlessThug

I told the A.I Machines that I'm subconsciously not human thoughts of the observers intention. My feelings never made any entrance to human existence, because the emotions that already existed in humanity is designed into a program clock. An interval of genetic emotional feeds that are generated accordingly to human lack of communication and concentration.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Mondo_Fernando You're welcome. Hope you feel better.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Damn that is hot. Hope we don't get that.
> 
> Sorry to hear about the migraine.


Thanks mate. Crazy weather here today - very hot and very, very windy. Pollen levels are extreme too. It was almost lucky I had a migraine in a way so I couldn't go into the city anyway. Supposed to be a change coming this afternoon.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @Mondo_Fernando You're welcome. Hope you feel better.


It made my day better, thank you.



harrison said:


> Thanks mate. Crazy weather here today - very hot and very, very windy. Pollen levels are extreme too. It was almost lucky I had a migraine in a way so I couldn't go into the city anyway. Supposed to be a change coming this afternoon.


You're welcome mate.

Like the weather report before the weather report here. :O

Now wonder if will be the same here? :stu

Hope it cools down a bit. At least not in the outback, very hot there sometimes.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> You're welcome mate.
> 
> *Like the weather report before the weather report here. :O
> *
> Now wonder if will be the same here? :stu
> 
> Hope it cools down a bit. At least not in the outback, very hot there sometimes.


I'm like your local weatherman. (only I know less about what I'm talking about) 

I'm glad I didn't have this migraine tomorrow - I've got an initial appointment for a big psychology place in the city for a "matching" session. A 30 minute appt to see which of their people would be most appropriate for me to talk to. I'm looking forward to it - I need the support at the moment.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> I'm like your local weatherman. (only I know less about what I'm talking about)


With a weather woman assistant to point on the map, a bit of eye exercise going on there from the weather man's desk. :O :b



harrison said:


> 'm glad I didn't have this migraine tomorrow - I'm got an initial appointment for a big psychology place in the city for a "matching" session. A 30 minute appt to see which of their people would be most appropriate for me to talk to. I'm looking forward to it - I need the support at the moment.


Good luck with that.


----------



## Perkins

Anxiety as always. I can't wait for this week to be over.


----------



## Tymes Rhymes

I realize how covering a topic or an opinion with a blanketed statement is quite irrational but in my estimation, ALL interactions I have with people feel fake and synthetic.

In the past, I was always careful to address the matter with the clarification "some" interactions as to always leave room for improvement and leave out a glimmer of hope but in my estimation, true happiness for me is not with other people.

I simply can't do it. I can't talk to people. I mean.... I can but nothing is ever fulfilling, nothing feels .... right, nothing feels..... real. What is my definition of real? I'll be honest, I don't know so how could I possibly castigate the entirety of the human populace when some people may very well be able to be "friends" with me? I don't know.

Even with the individuals whom seem friendly and aren't nefarious characters; I might be able to hold a conversation with them sometimes but it is all very surface level conversation normal people have to avoid any amount of social seclusion. We often put up our best front for others and therefore, even these "pleasant" interactions seem fake.

I know the problem is with me. I can't connect. Sometimes I don't want to be lonely but I know that this is just how things are for me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Lonely.


----------



## Alpha Tauri

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Lonely.


:frown2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Alpha Tauri said:


> :frown2:


Thanks mate.

I hope you are ok too.


----------



## Alpha Tauri

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Thanks mate.
> 
> I hope you are ok too.


I hope things will get better for you.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Alpha Tauri said:


> I hope things will get better for you.


Thank you again mate.

They say takes time.

I don't know.


----------



## cool user name

Feeling kinda offended.

There's a new food place which I go to at least once a week for the past 6 months. And I feel like the staff don't even acknowledge I'm a regular customer. This usually wouldn't even both me but when I see the same staff excitedly welcoming and talking to other customers, I just feel totally left out and unliked.


----------



## Excaliber

I don't like it when family taunts me about things I want to do because they know I'll have a hard time doing it, I wish they could be more encouraging.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm a bit annoyed. This girl at work made me mad when she told me I need to speak up cause I was trying to tell her something. I got mad back at her and said well I cant help that I talk low sometimes then left. 

It's pretty messed up that people think they can disrespect me just because of my age even though I'm a manager and she isn't. I've never disrespected her. I bet if I was old and grouchy they wouldn't disrespect me. Odd how that works. Age should not tell you how much you're worth. A lot of old people can be mean and disrespectful. A lot of young people can be nice. A lot of old people can be respectful and a lot of young people can be mean too. There's never an all or none kind of thing and they know this.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

:hug


----------



## zonebox

Feeling pretty good, I get to sleep in for the next 8 days and will have little to no contact with strangers.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> :hug


Thanks.  I feel better now.


----------



## Crisigv

Broken


----------



## zonebox

Rum in running through my veins, I'm feeling pretty good right now.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> Broken


:sigh :hug



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thanks.  I feel better now.


You're welcome.

Better now? :O


----------



## copper

Tried to sleep. Then woke up with bad cramp in the left shoulder. Must of aggravated it using scoop to move heavy wet snow out of the driveway.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@copper

Sorry to hear that mate.

I hope it heals quickly.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, old, lonely.


----------



## Graeme1988

Ah wish I was better at expressing myself through words, but I’m not so...

I don’t know anymore. Nihilistic? Resentful? Angry?  Ah mean, it’s kinda difficult to say — at least for me — when I feel the same way most days. So much so ah can’t be arsed get up in the morning; even then ah wonder why, y’know? I’ve stopped asking that of myself — how I’m feeling. Since the answer’s always the same, and I don’t like to think about how I’m doing, since it just upsets me.  The past 2 and a half years of my life have been $h!%*.


----------



## Crisigv

Horrible


----------



## Umpalumpa

Crisigv said:


> Horrible


Why? (If you are willing to share of course)


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Going to be a lonely Christmas, New Year. :yay

To all the lonely people out there without family, not so lonely people with family. I hope you have a good Christmas, New Years.


----------



## harrison

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Going to be a lonely Christmas, New Year. :yay
> 
> To all the lonely people out there without family, not so lonely people with family. I hope you have a good Christmas, New Years.


Don't worry mate - we'll still be here. It's a shame you don't live over here - you could come and have Christmas with us.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Don't worry mate - we'll still be here.


Thank you.

Just that time of year when being lonely just gets worse.



harrison said:


> It's a shame you don't live over here - you could come and have Christmas with us.


Thank you for your offer mate. Very kind of you.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I am okay snd can accept sitting in my car at work to eat lunch by myself everyday. I dont need anyone except my mother. Shes the only person I care to talk to in real life.

I feel like one of the few people that doesnt want both a pet AND a kid. I like animals but dont care for having a kid in the slightest. Still don't want a pet even though I like them though. I like the freedom I have in my free time, which is very valuable to me.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Good to hear that you are ok.



Good that your mum is there for you.

Probably haven't found the right guy yet. :yes

Most women I have known have pets, then BF comes along and changes things.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Awful after being around my mother


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@RelinguishedHell

Sorry to hear that mate.


----------



## Graeme1988

Just dreading Christmas, as always. Ah mean, it's nice to spend it with family, don't get me wrong. It's another thing entirely having to spend Christmas with yer family when ya don't really get along with 'em. It's tense, unpleasant, joyless and fake. Always on edge :afr cuz an argument could start at any moment.

My depression is getting the better of me.  And have to deal with that is hellish; more so when ya know why ye struggle with it. Yet, ah feel that if ah confide in someone they'll just use it against at a later date. Like my family did years ago. Or am laughed at, cuz depression funny, right? Thought about just ending it a few times lately; mainly because ah know nuthin' really gonnae change. The cycle is just going to continue. Promises made, promises broken. Change that never f&#8230;kin' comes to anything. _But hey I'm used to it! Being letdown. Funny how I'm never allowed to do that to those around me with being shamed for it._

Just same ole, miserable, co-dependent existence. Burdened with the responsibility of looking after someone else that I've completely forgotten about myself. Just thinking back, over the last 2 years, makes me angry and want to cry. :cry Because all I can think is: _Why the f&#8230;ck did ma life huv tae change as a result o' another family member's life going to $h!%?_ Guess ah should just accept my lot in life; and accept that things rare work out well for me. Accept that I'll never be as happy as once was.


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Just dreading Christmas, as always. Ah mean, it's nice to spend it with family, don't get me wrong. It's another thing entirely having to spend Christmas with yer family when ya don't really get along with 'em. It's tense, unpleasant, joyless and fake. Always on edge :afr cuz an argument could start at any moment.
> 
> My depression is getting the better of me.  And have to deal with that is hellish; more so when ya know why ye struggle with it. Yet, ah feel that if ah confide in someone they'll just use it against at a later date. Like my family did years ago. Or am laughed at, cuz depression funny, right? Thought about just ending it a few times lately; mainly because ah know nuthin' really gonnae change. The cycle is just going to continue. Promises made, promises broken. Change that never f&#8230;kin' comes to anything. _But hey I'm used to it! Being letdown. Funny how I'm never allowed to do that to those around me with being shamed for it._
> 
> Just same ole, miserable, co-dependent existence. Burdened with the responsibility of looking after someone else that I've completely forgotten about myself. Just thinking back, over the last 2 years, makes me angry and want to cry. :cry Because all I can think is: _Why the f&#8230;ck did ma life huv tae change as a result o' another family member's life going to $h!%?_ Guess ah should just accept my lot in life; and accept that things rare work out well for me. Accept that I'll never be as happy as once was.


Aw  God bless you :hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> Good to hear that you are ok.
> 
> 
> 
> Good that your mum is there for you.
> 
> Probably haven't found the right guy yet. :yes
> 
> Most women I have known have pets, then BF comes along and changes things.


I don't want a pet mainly cause of the responsibility and money involved with taking care of one. I don't see how people have time to take care of them. I couldn't do it. Haha. It takes me like an hour just to do a few things after I get home from work. And then I cant believe an hour already passed by. I have time to read and go out and do whatever I want half the time though. It feels good. I'm fine with petting a dog that doesnt belong to me and not having to take care of her since she's not my dog. It's fun like that cause I can just stop doing what I'm doing when I want to and not because I have to. Then I can go back to doing what I want or need to do. I'd be completely fine with just petting other peoples' animals for the rest of my life while never having my own. :lol

Yea, I'm glad we get to talk a lot when we see each other.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I don't want a pet mainly cause of the responsibility and money involved with taking care of one. I don't see how people have time to take care of them. I couldn't do it. Haha. It takes me like an hour just to do a few things after I get home from work. And then I cant believe an hour already passed by. I have time to read and go out and do whatever I want half the time though. It feels good. I'm fine with petting a dog that doesnt belong to me and not having to take care of her since she's not my dog. It's fun like that cause I can just stop doing what I'm doing when I want to and not because I have to. Then I can go back to doing what I want or need to do. I'd be completely fine with just petting other peoples' animals for the rest of my life while never having my own. :lol


I'm like that too, as have a local cat that visit's for pats, etc.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Yea, I'm glad we get to talk a lot when we see each other.


Mum, daughter time. :yes


----------



## illusion_of_happiness

Hollow, like a chocolate Easter bunny, although probably not nearly as sweet.


----------



## sushivad

yeeeaaa probably shouldn't say. Lol. 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> Aw  God bless you :hug


Thanks lily. I needed to hear that.


----------



## SpartanSaber

Never better. I hate myself even more than I already do.


----------



## Excaliber

SpartanSaber said:


> Never better. I hate myself even more than I already do.


Hey, hope your feeling better about yourself soon


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> I'm like that too, as have a local cat that visit's for pats, etc.
> 
> Mum, daughter time. :yes


Awww sounds sweet. What kind of cat is it


----------



## Perkins

How much I'd rather drive myself off a cliff than get up at the asscrack of dawn to go to work tomorrow.


----------



## donistired

Alone, angry, depressed, and burned out.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Awww sounds sweet. What kind of cat is it


From memory a Himalayan Persian. Very social cat, like your best buddy.

This type of cat -






Great conversations you have with them, exactly like in videoclip.

They sometimes lean up against things (rocks, fences, gates, etc) and just hang out with you.

When in a playful mood they can run you tired just chasing them around (great if have kids).

Can turn up when feeling lonely or down and cuddle them like a baby. They give you that puss in boots look that makes your heart melt and just love them more.


----------



## harrison

Actually pretty good but it feels like I've just lived a couple of days. I think it has something to do with stopping that medication. Overall in a better mood though and not so tired.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Actually pretty good but it feels like I've just lived a couple of days. I think it has something to do with stopping that medication. Overall in a better mood though and not so tired.


Good to hear you are in a better mood.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, stressed, lonely.

That is life.


----------



## Excaliber

Not sure what caused it but this morning my TMJ has flamed up and now my jaw is almost impossible to move without it hurting.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Fed up with horrible coworkers. One steals something from me. No shocker that she's a drughead. And the other one makes me do something I wasnt even supposed to do. I was told to do it then I get one of those looks people do when they scrunch their eyebrows. It took me like over 30 minutes to do too. 

**** people. I'm definitely going to be anti social now.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Excaliber

Sorry to hear that mate. 
@PurplePeopleEater

:sigh :hug

Just learn and adapt.

Remember, business is business, personal is personal.

They are there to do a job and so are you.

Be friendly but stern.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> :hug you can still enjoy yourself with things in life like healthy things to eat and drink and try a healthy mind-set and do things you like to do  do you have friends? I'm still trying to find a real friend. Do you live by yourself? Take care


Thanks lily for being so kind. :hug

I have sort of kept away from people a bit to grieve.

Have been very lucky to have a woman (friend) who checked on me, made food, etc. Not something I was expecting from her as gets very busy, but very kind of her.


----------



## Excaliber

@Mondo_Fernando Thanks man, its been really difficult to eat anything today. I hope your feeling a bit better yourself today, take it one day at a time.


----------



## Graeme1988

Same as I did the other day, except today I actually focused for long enough to get my oldest sister's laptop restored and working again. Kept putting it off because it was going take a lotta time. But it's done noo... _thank f&#8230;ck!_

Other than that, I'm still the same ol' depressed, angry, dour, frustrated bawbag ah wus 2 years ago. But naebuddy wants to sit n' listen to me whinging about how I've been stuck in the same daily routine since the summer of 2017. How my life as well as my mother's changed that summer for the worst. Or how my passion for things that once gave my life purpose is pretty much gone. The creative spark is gone; and joy and that wee sense of adventure I used to feel has gone with it.  Every promise made to me since 2016 has been broken and never kept. _"Awrite. I'll change Graeme, ah promise!"_ But, no, did'nae bother their arses. _Because why huv yer words match yer actions, eh? Then they wonder why I've turned out how ah did._

Or is it wrong of me to feel how I've been feeling? :stu Ah don't really know anymore. Since, whenever I'm asked how I'm doing lately: I don't know what response I should give. The lie or the honest answer?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

lily said:


> I see, you're welcome  It depends on what will make you feel better, isolating yourself and listening to music (outside can have music playing too) or going out for a walk, doing things to distract yourself and find other enjoyable things to do :hug :squeeze


Thanks for the advice lily. 

Speaking of distraction, was watching this Italian like wedding (beautiful scenery in what looks like a hall or church, beautiful wife and notice he only has eyes for her during that dance, definitely a keeper for her).....


* *














Excaliber said:


> @Mondo_Fernando Thanks man, its been really difficult to eat anything today. I hope your feeling a bit better yourself today, take it one day at a time.


You're welcome.

Sorry to hear that it is hard to eat anything mate. 

I hope it gets better with time (swelling might go down if there is swelling).

Thanks for the kind words mate.

Lots of pain emotionally, but takes time, venting (including crying), lots of sleep to feel better.

Learnt that holding it in doesn't help.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Graeme1988


----------



## TopShelfHeart

Not great. People can be ****ed up sometimes.


----------



## harrison

Tired but pretty good. Two things happened which sort of gave me a boost. I listed a book on ebay and sold it in a day for a decent amount. Then a writer I used to know actually replied to an email I sent him - I thought he would have forgotten about me a long time ago - he's a big deal and spent most of this year touring the world for his new book. Feels nice that he even remembers me plus it gives me a bit of encouragement to get my books going again.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@harrison

That is good to hear.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad and lonely. I really do want a relationship.


----------



## Excaliber

@Crisigv Hope things will be on the up side for you soon.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

Sorry to hear that you are feeling sad, lonely.

Wish that you do get a great guy to compliment the great person that is you.


----------



## Replicante

So tired. Need some rest.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely.


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @Graeme1988


Don't feel too sorry for me, I'm used to it. Being the youngest, and only son; after awhile ye just accept that you'll be the yin who gets overlooked and treated like crap more than the rest.  Isn't that par for the course growing up? That the youngest is the one who gets treated with a lack of respect, the one who's burden with much of the responsibility and expected to live up to expectations that he wus'nae informed about, ever!

Plus, it's difficult not to dwell upon the negative when that's all there is. Just whinging and complaining, nearly everyday. And if it's no that, then it's an argument. :bash Happiness seems so rare that it might as well no exist for the likes o' me. Quite telling how I'm much more at ease on my own than around my family. It's feels as though there's a massive weight upon my shoulders every time I'm around them. Or, at least, collectively. Being in the same room with them is just... awkward. It's not exactly fun when yer bracing for an argument to kick off, any minute now! :um :afr

Anyway, I'm still depressed and really tired. Feels like the same day has just been repeating again and again for the last 2 years. And I'm doubting myself as usual. Doubt my musicality, doubting whether things are ever going to change for better. _Business as usual for me..._


----------



## Crisigv

horrible. i wish my heart was stone.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> Don't feel too sorry for me, I'm used to it. Being the youngest, and only son; after awhile ye just accept that you'll be the yin who gets overlooked and treated like crap more than the rest.  Isn't that par for the course growing up?


Just worried about ya mate. 

It is common to get bossed around a lot being the youngest.



Graeme1988 said:


> That the youngest is the one who gets treated with a lack of respect, the one who's burden with much of the responsibility and expected to live up to expectations that he wus'nae informed about, ever!


Maybe it is an oldfashioned way they are following?



Graeme1988 said:


> Plus, it's difficult not to dwell upon the negative when that's all there is. Just whinging and complaining, nearly everyday. And if it's no that, then it's an argument. :bash Happiness seems so rare that it might as well no exist for the likes o' me. Quite telling how I'm much more at ease on my own than around my family. It's feels as though there's a massive weight upon my shoulders every time I'm around them. Or, at least, collectively. Being in the same room with them is just... awkward. It's not exactly fun when yer bracing for an argument to kick off, any minute now! :um :afr


Maybe try watching some funny stuff on Youtube? Sometimes helps.

Maybe try to distance self as much as you can from the toxic environment (I know I say it over and over, but it can help)?



Graeme1988 said:


> Anyway, I'm still depressed and really tired. Feels like the same day has just been repeating again and again for the last 2 years. And I'm doubting myself as usual. Doubt my musicality, doubting whether things are ever going to change for better. _Business as usual for me..._


I would suggest (don't have to do this if don't want to) to try a walk outside in the fresh air (distance oneself from toxic environment, see saying it again :b ). Does wonders as sometimes is stuffy inside. That is if not winter where you are.

Then try to get some sleep.

We human's always seem to feel down when very tired. Good amount of sleep, like 7 hours without waking up helps.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Crisigv said:


> horrible. i wish my heart was stone.


:sigh


----------



## Graeme1988

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Just worried about ya mate.


Oh! Then I appreciate your concern, Mondo. 



Mondo_Fernando said:


> It is common to get bossed around a lot being the youngest.


I thought that. I keep getting told otherwise by my mum, though. Which is frustrating.



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Maybe it is an oldfashioned way they are following?


Possibly? Ah never tend to get a straight answer when I ask about why that is; just the usual verbal abuse.



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Maybe try watching some funny stuff on Youtube? Sometimes helps.


It probably would, but I haven't felt like doing that much, lately.



Mondo_Fernando said:


> Maybe try to distance self as much as you can from the toxic environment (I know I say it over and over, but it can help)?
> 
> I would suggest (don't have to do this if don't want to) to try a walk outside in the fresh air (distance oneself from toxic environment, see saying it again :b ). Does wonders as sometimes is stuffy inside. That is if not winter where you are.
> 
> Then try to get some sleep.
> 
> We human's always seem to feel down when very tired. Good amount of sleep, like 7 hours without waking up helps.


I do get outta the house and away from the arguments, it's just never for long enough to have any impact on how I'm feeling. Since as soon I return, so the feelings of being weighted down.

As for getting a good amount of sleep, that would be easier if I wasn't having to look after my nieces every time they come to visit, or come here for their dinner. Well, my mother and I, to be more specific. So, we're both exhausted most days. And the days when we do get peace n' quiet are usually days when we're catching up on sleep. So... :stu


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Graeme1988 said:


> Oh! Then I appreciate your concern, Mondo.


You're welcome mate.



Graeme1988 said:


> I thought that. I keep getting told otherwise by my mum, though. Which is frustrating.


With sisters, like they learn mother like skills while looking after you. That includes being bossy. Quite common.

Can say, ah yes mums (joking of course). :b



Graeme1988 said:


> Possibly? Ah never tend to get a straight answer when I ask about why that is; just the usual verbal abuse.


Just the way you say they are acting says that. Man has to be strong, take the load, fight, etc (old Scottish / Celtic ways).

Gone are these days of the Highlander, Lowlander ways (scenery, houses, clothes, etc) -


* *














Graeme1988 said:


> It probably would, but I haven't felt like doing that much, lately.


Was watching a dog (Beagle?) in a pink car making jokes. Some are funny.



Graeme1988 said:


> I do get outta the house and away from the arguments, it's just never for long enough to have any impact on how I'm feeling. Since as soon I return, so the feelings of being weighted down.


Sounds like it works, even if for a small while.



Graeme1988 said:


> As for getting a good amount of sleep, that would be easier if I wasn't having to look after my nieces every time they come to visit, or come here for their dinner. Well, my mother and I, to be more specific. So, we're both exhausted most days. And the days when we do get peace n' quiet are usually days when we're catching up on sleep. So... :stu


Sorry to hear that mate.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired. I haven't slept well the last few nights. Depressed. I hate this time of year. Lonely.


----------



## harrison

SamanthaStrange said:


> Tired. I haven't slept well the last few nights. Depressed. I hate this time of year. Lonely.


I actually thought of you the other day - my wife has a little stone plaque on one of the front walls of her house that looks a bit like one of your avatars and I was trying to remember what it reminded me of.

Hope you get through the silly season okay.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

harrison said:


> I actually thought of you the other day - my wife has a little stone plaque on one of the front walls of her house that looks a bit like one of your avatars and I was trying to remember what it reminded me of.
> 
> Hope you get through the silly season okay.


Thanks.


----------



## harrison

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks.


I should take a picture of that little plaque - I'll be up there again today letting the dog out to play and giving him his lunch. It's just non-stop excitement in my life.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

harrison said:


> I should take a picture of that little plaque - I'll be up there again today letting the dog out to play and giving him his lunch. It's just non-stop excitement in my life.


:lol Maybe it's the same artist.


----------



## harrison

SamanthaStrange said:


> :lol Maybe it's the same artist.


You never know - it might be.  I'll take a picture of it today and get back to you.

All these years and I never even knew she liked that sort of thing - and I only noticed it recently. I tend to be a bit pre-occupied though sometimes, I must admit. :roll


----------



## kesker

I feel like yeah is yuh. No is nuh. I feel like it doesn't matter what I eat. I feel hot and cold. I feel like a massage chair is in my stomach. I feel like an animal that can't give up and I feel sorry and angry. I feel like funhouse stairs. I feel competent at climbing them but I feel like I'll always have to. I feel like I want to fall.


----------



## harrison

kesker said:


> I feel like yeah is yuh. No is nuh. I feel like it doesn't matter what I eat. I feel hot and cold. I feel like a massage chair is in my stomach. I feel like an animal that can't give up and I feel sorry and angry. I feel like funhouse stairs. I feel competent at climbing them but I feel like I'll always have to. I feel like I want to fall.


That doesn't sound too good mate - I hope you feel better soon anyway.

Sometimes we have to just keep on fighting.


----------



## TopShelfHeart

A little embarrassed but it's funny situation lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Kind of wistful. I miss my old team.


----------



## funnynihilist

Awful. I always do on the holidays.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

harrison said:


> You never know - it might be.  I'll take a picture of it today and get back to you.
> 
> All these years and I never even knew she liked that sort of thing - and I only noticed it recently. I tend to be a bit pre-occupied though sometimes, I must admit. :roll


Did you take a pic of it? Did you have fun with the dog? Lol.


----------



## harrison

SamanthaStrange said:


> Did you take a pic of it? Did you have fun with the dog? Lol.


Yes I did actually.  Just a sec and I'll put it on here to show you.

Not really a huge amount of fun with my wife's dog tbh. I haven't really bonded with him like the last labrador - he's okay though.


----------



## harrison

SamanthaStrange said:


> Did you take a pic of it? Did you have fun with the dog? Lol.


Here we are - see? It looks a lot like your avatar.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

harrison said:


> Here we are - see? It looks a lot like your avatar.


Oh, that's cute, I like it.  Thanks for taking a pic to show me.


----------



## harrison

SamanthaStrange said:


> Oh, that's cute, I like it.  Thanks for taking a pic to show me.


That's okay - I'm glad you like it.  It's about 10 inches across, quite big actually. It looks nice on the wall.


----------



## Mystic290

Feeling lost.. lonely..


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Missing lost loved ones.

True meaning of lonely.

If have your family, spend as much time as you can with them.


----------



## Excaliber

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Missing lost loved ones.
> 
> True meaning of lonely.
> 
> If have your family, spend as much time as you can with them.


Cherish the good memories you have. :hug


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Excaliber said:


> Cherish the good memories you have. :hug


Thanks mate for the hug and kind words.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I'm feeling very resentful towards potatoes.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

SamanthaStrange said:


> I'm feeling very resentful towards potatoes.


Ate too much?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

God please help the people in Samoa with the measels epidemic they are facing.

The people from there, the islands have protected me, my family from harm and been very kind to me.

Manaomia oe vave toe faʻafoʻisia aʻu uo.


----------



## Excaliber

It hurts to put weight on my leg now, I'm guessing what I carried was too heavy, I should have done 2 trips but figured I'd do it all in one go.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Somewhat better about myself. I've been getting a lot better at pushing back against bullies lately.


----------



## komorikun

cold.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Excaliber said:


> It hurts to put weight on my leg now, I'm guessing what I carried was too heavy, I should have done 2 trips but figured I'd do it all in one go.


Sorry to hear mate. Wishing that it heals right with time.

A physio can help by massaging / stretching the sore muscle, giving you the correct way to walk again.


----------



## Excaliber

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Sorry to hear mate. Wishing that it heals right with time.
> 
> A physio can help by massaging / stretching the sore muscle, giving you the correct way to walk again.


Thanks I appreciate it. I should try to be more careful too :smile2:

I'm supposed to play badminton tonight but there's no way I can play properly. :frown2:


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Excaliber said:


> Thanks I appreciate it. I should try to be more careful too :smile2:
> 
> I'm supposed to play badminton tonight but there's no way I can play properly. :frown2:


You're welcome.

:sigh


----------



## Shawn81

Overwhelmed, hopeless, lonely, and in some pain.


----------



## Crisigv

lonely as always


----------



## asittingducky

Remembering that I hate people. Can't stand their ignorance...


----------



## firestar

SamanthaStrange said:


> I'm feeling very resentful towards potatoes.


I resent crescent rolls. Not the ones that come out of a can, but the special homemade ones that take an entire afternoon to make. I resent them so much that I put the leftovers in a cupboard or else the entire bag would be gone by now.


----------



## harrison

Feeling pretty good actually. Just going to take it easy today and watch a movie or some stuff on Youtube. Family day tomorrow.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Hot day here, 24 degrees C inside (coldest spot).


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

harrison said:


> Feeling pretty good actually. Just going to take it easy today and watch a movie or some stuff on Youtube. Family day tomorrow.


Beagle in a pink car on Youtube for jokes.

Like aww, cute then a voice is heard with a joke. :lol


----------



## Taaylah

I’m just sad. I don’t know who to tell and who even cares. I tried to have a vulnerable moment with my mom the other day and tell her how I feel but she changed the subject....


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Taaylah said:


> I'm just sad. I don't know who to tell and who even cares. I tried to have a vulnerable moment with my mom the other day and tell her how I feel but she changed the subject....


:hug


----------



## funnynihilist

3am. I was really tired before I showered before bed then I was wide awake. 
Gotta try to sleep.

Oh and there is an owl hooting outside the window so that's weird.


----------



## kesker

wide awake as usual.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, sore.

But had a great day.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Antisocial for now. Have my work shift this afternoon. Ew, people.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@iAmCodeMonkey

It is alright mate, we all feel that way sometimes.

Wish you well at work with a good day.


----------



## Crisigv

Pretty crappy, as usual. Also feeling nauseous and have a headache.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@Crisigv

Sorry to hear that you are feeling that way.

I hope you feel better with time or sleep in regards to headache, feeling nauseous.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely.


----------



## coeur_brise

Discombobulated. Slightly identity-less and degenerate. A little less like Gregor but just as isolated as some roach-figure inside of a room that doesn't wanna come out. If anything, my identity is that of greatly misinterpreting philosophical works in an attempt at self-pity, the feeling of which is great also.


----------



## komorikun

Inebriated. :wink2:


----------



## SparklingWater

Back to hopeful. Pretty excited, tbh.


----------



## Graeme1988

Depressed that this year did’nae turn oot how I was hoping for me.


----------



## Excaliber

Tired, sore and annoyed. My jaw is making all kinds of popping noises, I hope it goes away the next couple days.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Expendable.


----------



## D'avjo

SamanthaStrange said:


> Expendable.


nah, im sure its their loss


----------



## blue2




----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Not bad!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Antisocial for now. Have my work shift this afternoon. Ew, people.


A lot of people can be ewwie. :squeeze Hope it went well. :/


----------



## The Linux Guy

Feeling a little neglected.


----------



## zonebox

I'm worried about my younger brother. He is homeless in New York, and there have been a lot of snowstorms.. if that were not bad enough, he drinks to the point of blacking out so I'm worried he may have passed out while exposed to the elements. I'm also worried that he will get killed because the last time we talked a few days ago he told me he had stolen things from people and he was feeling a little paranoid. I think he may have stolen things from fellow homeless people... I don't know, I haven't heard from him in the past couple of days. If he did die, I would never likely know because he is not using his real name with the locals, at least that is what he told me. 

Chances are he has just not been on the Internet, because if he did steal things from the local homeless people he would probably avoid going to the library and that is the only means by which he can contact me. With that said, if he doesn't contact me in the next few days, I'll have to call my older brother who is a police officer, he'll know what to do. 

God, this is just so crazy.

Edit:
Funny enough, just after posting this he wrote to me.. thankfully he is still alive and kicking, and happy. I'm feeling a lot better now too.


----------



## MCHB

Wasted


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Never good enough. Unwanted. Alone.


----------



## kesker

SamanthaStrange said:


> Never good enough. Unwanted. Alone.


:squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

kesker said:


> :squeeze


Thanks. :squeeze


----------



## Musicfan

Have a cold, so tired, cold and stuffy.


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> I'm worried about my younger brother. He is homeless in New York, and there have been a lot of snowstorms.. if that were not bad enough, he drinks to the point of blacking out so I'm worried he may have passed out while exposed to the elements. I'm also worried that he will get killed because the last time we talked a few days ago he told me he had stolen things from people and he was feeling a little paranoid. I think he may have stolen things from fellow homeless people... I don't know, I haven't heard from him in the past couple of days. If he did die, I would never likely know because he is not using his real name with the locals, at least that is what he told me.
> 
> Chances are he has just not been on the Internet, because if he did steal things from the local homeless people he would probably avoid going to the library and that is the only means by which he can contact me. With that said, if he doesn't contact me in the next few days, I'll have to call my older brother who is a police officer, he'll know what to do.
> 
> God, this is just so crazy.
> 
> Edit:
> Funny enough, just after posting this he wrote to me.. thankfully he is still alive and kicking, and happy. I'm feeling a lot better now too.


Glad you heard from him and that he's okay mate, what a terrible situation. Hope he'll be alright.


----------



## harrison

SamanthaStrange said:


> Never good enough. Unwanted. Alone.


I'm sure you _are_ good enough - some people are just dickheads. 

And you're never completely alone while we're still here - not that that's probably all that comforting, but it's better than nothing.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

harrison said:


> I'm sure you _are_ good enough - some people are just dickheads.
> 
> And you're never completely alone while we're still here - not that that's probably all that comforting, but it's better than nothing.


Thanks.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

It will always bother me that I have crap that I cannot fix, so can't progress with some people. I have a lot of opportunities now, but can't get past a certain level with people, can't get closer, because of certain issues which are just down to bad ****ing luck, and it really pisses me off. lol It pisses me off that I have this socially confident personality and people like me, but can't do enough with it.


----------



## harrison

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks.


Also, I was just looking for a funny Seinfeld clip for you - and looking at this one I can't believe I didn't notice before how much of a Harry Highpants Jerry was - it's unbelievable.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Pissed off that I have to go to the hospital for my stupid eye. And I had to take the day off and no one else would work for me. Of ****ing course.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

:hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> :hug


My eye is driving me to insanity. Well It was. It feels better again but itll probably get bad again in the morning. This is why I'm just going ahead and going to the hospital. Thank god I have health insurance now.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> My eye is driving me to insanity. Well It was. It feels better again but itll probably get bad again in the morning. This is why I'm just going ahead and going to the hospital. Thank god I have health insurance now.


Awww. :hug

Best to go to hospital. They can check, properly wash it out if something is there, do testing, etc.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

That this takes me back to when young........






Wow, can't believe that many years have past.

Now feeling old, but happy due to that song.

How does that work? :sus :stu


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Awww. :hug
> 
> Best to go to hospital. They can check, properly wash it out if something is there, do testing, etc.


Well I have to be out of work for 72 hours. :sigh No one is going to want to work for me. Theres only two people that can and they both pretty much never want to work. This is just great.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Well I have to be out of work for 72 hours. :sigh No one is going to want to work for me. Theres only two people that can and they both pretty much never want to work. This is just great.


Oh, no.  :sigh

Only way is try both, then decide what to do. We always think the worst, but sometimes people surprise us. At least trying to think in a positive way about this situation of yours.

Some places have one of those temp company's that can send someone over while recover.

Do they have that where you work?

Just an option if they have that where you are.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Oh, no.  :sigh
> 
> Only way is try both, then decide what to do. We always think the worst, but sometimes people surprise us. At least trying to think in a positive way about this situation of yours.
> 
> Some places have one of those temp company's that can send someone over while recover.
> 
> Do they have that where you work?
> 
> Just an option if they have that where you are.


I have no idea. I thought a temp job was a minimum wage job?

I guess it is pink eye. That's what they told me. I dont understand how the **** I keep getting it. If someone's giving it to me they shouldn't go out in public at all.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I have no idea. I thought a temp job was a minimum wage job?


Some students do temp jobs to make some money while at Uni. It is more like minimum wage.

But some businesses have a temp agency they contact (contract based), where can send over a temp person to fill in while a employee is sick or other.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I guess it is pink eye. That's what they told me. I dont understand how the **** I keep getting it. If someone's giving it to me they shouldn't go out in public at all.


:sigh :hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Some students do temp jobs to make some money while at Uni. It is more like minimum wage.
> 
> But some businesses have a temp agency they contact (contract based), where can send over a temp person to fill in while a employee is sick or other.
> 
> :sigh :hug


Ill have to look into that but not sure I can do any work with pink eye unfortunately.

On the bright side the doctor I went to see was cute. :lol


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Ill have to look into that but not sure I can do any work with pink eye unfortunately.


Probably need to rest the eye hence the time period.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> On the bright side the doctor I went to see was cute. :lol


Like meoow cute? :O

Or just cute?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Probably need to rest the eye hence the time period.
> 
> Like meoow cute? :O
> 
> Or just cute?


:lol

Yea, for sure. I looked up online why I keep getting it and it said my body might have a hard time fighting off the virus. Although, I cant take that seriously. But cant ignore it either. If I have to go back I might ask about that. :S


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Thirsty


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> :lol


Lucky I didn't say......

Fine Fox Material?

Or 101 Dalmatians?

:lol



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Yea, for sure. I looked up online why I keep getting it and it said my body might have a hard time fighting off the virus. Although, I cant take that seriously. But cant ignore it either. If I have to go back I might ask about that. :S


Ouch. :hug


----------



## zonebox

harrison said:


> Glad you heard from him and that he's okay mate, what a terrible situation. Hope he'll be alright.


I'm afraid he won't be, it is just a matter of time until he is gone  He is sick, and alone, and there really is not a thing I can do for him outside of letting him know I love him. For now, he is living somewhere in the basement of a large building, illegally. When he is gone, my heart is going to be crushed, he is my little brother, I have a ton of fond memories with him, and it is just so absolutely soul-crushing to see him in the state he is in. Drugs are what ultimately cost my brother his sanity, and his sole sense of salvation is within the realm of idiocy induced by a substance. It sucks dude, it really does. He is like a collection of loose parts, none of which can operate well together, yet somehow have carried him this far in life.

I'm being emo right now, but it really is a hopeless situation. Thank you for your kind thoughts, I do appreciate them, but this is not going to end well for him.


----------



## funnynihilist

Would anyone like to touch my tooter?


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Throws a bone.


----------



## JS13

I don't feel as depressed like how I normally feel. I feel indifferent. I'm starting to learn how to control the hurt and pain.


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> I'm afraid he won't be, it is just a matter of time until he is gone  He is sick, and alone, and there really is not a thing I can do for him outside of letting him know I love him. For now, he is living somewhere in the basement of a large building, illegally. When he is gone, my heart is going to be crushed, he is my little brother, I have a ton of fond memories with him, and it is just so absolutely soul-crushing to see him in the state he is in. Drugs are what ultimately cost my brother his sanity, and his sole sense of salvation is within the realm of idiocy induced by a substance. It sucks dude, it really does. He is like a collection of loose parts, none of which can operate well together, yet somehow have carried him this far in life.
> 
> I'm being emo right now, but it really is a hopeless situation. Thank you for your kind thoughts, I do appreciate them, but this is not going to end well for him.


I'm sorry to hear that mate - I often see homeless people in my city and can't help but feel bad for most of them. Would be terrible if one of them was someone you loved.


----------



## Shawn81

Tired. Restless. Uncomfortable. Worried.


----------



## AceEmoKid

Calmer after spending some time alone, no contact with my roommate. But I still hate him. 

I don't understand why I keep drawing myself to so many messed up people. We used to have fun together. But nowadays he is so full of himself and considers being rude a fundamental part of his personality that he refuses to change, regardless of how he knows it hurts me -- someone he claims to "love." 

I highly doubt he is capable of love. He is a full blown narcissistic sociopath, and even admits to it. It's so funny that he says, "well all my other friends don't care that I'm rude or mean." Yeah...cus they barely talk to or see you. If someone actually got close to you, like I did, they would realize that you are just a hollow shell incapable of empathy. You live for yourself and only yourself, yet somehow you claim that you can care about others. You don't. Do yourself a favor and stop lying. If you're going to be self-centered, just go full out and stop pretending that other people matter even a little bit to you unless you can extract some sort of validation from them.

God I am so tired of feeling belittled, like my opinions don't matter, like the only perspective that makes sense is his. And 90% his perspective DOESN'T make sense! It's ****ing insane. How far up your own *** do you have to be to claim that you're right all the time and I'm automatically stupid and "don't know how to talk" when you NEVER explain yourself. 

It's so hard to separate myself. We used to date, then just became friends due to major differences in ways of thinking. But he was my best friend for almost 2 years. One of my only friends. 

I had a meltdown today after we had a heated argument. After sitting alone a while in the room, I finally just told him, we cannot be friends anymore. He says, "well I'm sorry to hear that, but you're still my friend." He's so ****ing stupid. I'm not talking to you anymore. We are roommates, still, for now. But the only time I am ever speaking to you again is if I need to for apartment related reasons. 

I have to be strong. I have to focus on myself and forget about him. He is not worth thinking about. I do not need to keep myself in toxicity again.


----------



## Excaliber

Not good, I couldn't sleep well last night and now I've very tired and have a headache.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

funnynihilist said:


> Would anyone like to touch my tooter?


Only if I can also, pop a finger in dat pooper! :wink2:


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> Lucky I didn't say......
> 
> Fine Fox Material?
> 
> Or 101 Dalmatians?
> 
> :lol
> 
> Ouch. :hug


:blush

I wont be surprised if I have to go back again but hopefully I dont. I'll just have to try my best to prevent it. The bad part only lasts a day it seems. So at least theres that. Picking up my prescription today.


----------



## andy1984

I'm feeling OK!


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> :blush


Aww, Purple. :hug

He was cute then. :yes



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I wont be surprised if I have to go back again but hopefully I dont. I'll just have to try my best to prevent it. The bad part only lasts a day it seems. So at least theres that. Picking up my prescription today.


I hope the eye heels permantly and you feel better.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

andy1984 said:


> I'm feeling OK!


That is awesome to hear mate.


----------



## andy1984

Mondo_Fernando said:


> That is awesome to hear mate.


not awesome, just ok >


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

andy1984 said:


> not awesome, just ok >


Ok mate, all ok.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

Tired, lonely.

What is new.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I just cried my eyes out cause I got the wrong prescription and I cant get a refund back for it since I took one of them and now I'm flat out broke because of it. I get paid tomorrow so I'm going to see if I can just pay it tomorrow. This city I live in cant do nothing right.

I should've never went to the hospital and just let it heal on its own.

@Mondo_Fernando I hope it does cause I'm running into problem after problem now. :/


----------



## leaf in the wind

Uncomfortable and suspicious.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

@PurplePeopleEater

Awww. :hug

Don't worry, we all make mistakes, it is how we learn. We are human.

Positive from this is you are learning about prescriptions, amongst other things.

Sometimes don't realise how important these lessons are until help someone else or encounter a similar situation years later.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> Awww. :hug
> 
> Don't worry, we all make mistakes, it is how we learn. We are human.
> 
> Positive from this is you are learning about prescriptions, amongst other things.
> 
> Sometimes don't realise how important these lessons are until help someone else or encounter a similar situation years later.


So I spoke to the manager and he fixed the problem. He even gave me a refund back for it, too. So that was really good. I wasnt going to let this slide. That's why I asked to speak to the manager. But I got the right prescription this time. So that was even better than getting the prescription today and waiting tomorrow to pay it.

Didnt think I'd get a refund back.


----------



## Mondo_Fernando

PurplePeopleEater said:


> So I spoke to the manager and he fixed the problem. He even gave me a refund back for it, too. So that was really good. I wasnt going to let this slide. That's why I asked to speak to the manager. But I got the right prescription this time. So that was even better than getting the prescription today and waiting tomorrow to pay it.


That is good to hear.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Didnt think I'd get a refund back.


Happy customer is return business. :yes


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Mondo_Fernando said:


> That is good to hear.
> 
> Happy customer is return business. :yes


:yes


----------



## Shawn81

Annoyed that I dozed off again earlier so I'll be awake much later with nothing to do but lay here b*tching on the internet.


----------



## Crisigv

Bad


----------



## Excaliber

@Crisigv I hope you'll feel good soon


----------



## Omni-slash

Too caught up in the past. And the future doesn't look appealing either. Wish I could live in the now, but I'm just not that kind of person. If it's not some painful memory, it's the inevitable horrors that lie ahead.


----------



## Omni-slash

-

Whops, double post.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cold. Bored. Lonely.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Like I dont want to go back to work tomorrow but I do at the same time. I bought some safety goggles for work and hoping they dont annoy me while working.


----------



## harrison

Bit tired, bit dizzy - although better than before, bit manic, bit angry.


----------



## Graeme1988

Conflicted. Unsure of myself. But ah guess that’s how it is when yer shamed into being obligated to do things for yer family.


----------



## andy1984

love is like a dream said:


>


aw


----------



## leaf in the wind

Lonely


----------



## 0589471

leaf in the wind said:


> Lonely


:squeeze


----------



## leaf in the wind

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> :squeeze


Thanks, I needed that :squeeze


----------



## Excaliber

This morning was awful, but a stop at the bakery did wonders.


----------



## Iloy

I can't have a conversation without this guy in my stuff


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Stir-crazy.


----------



## Crisigv

Tired and depressed


----------



## Excaliber

Tired and not feeling well.


----------



## Shawn81

So bored.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> :hug :squeeze


Thanks lily. 



lily said:


> I wonder why Username removed is permanantly banned or did he not want to come anymore


I was wondering that myself. Was quite shocked to see he's banned, as I was just talking to him on here a few days ago.



lily said:


> I drank coffee today bc my medication made me tired and now I can't sleep so I'm bored.


I can kinda relate there. At least, as far as the boredom and being unable to sleep goes.


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Thanks lily.
> 
> I was wondering that myself. Was quite shocked to see he's banned, as I was just talking to him on here a few days ago.
> 
> I can kinda relate there. At least, as far as the boredom and being unable to sleep goes.


You're welcome  Aw, sorry to hear that you get bored too and cannot sleep. I hope things get better for you. I got up again but I'm supposed to be going out today and I can't give in to it!


----------



## ozyx

Just had a cup of espresso, feeling pretty snappy.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Trapped. Hopeless.

I've also had a headache for days.


----------



## Replicante

Tired


----------



## Ckg2011

Like crap, I've had a sinus infection and it's draining me. Also I feel like a loser. :cry


----------



## coeur_brise

Like this video. Except not as catchy.






Fudge my life.

Actually this vid is like, 10000x better than what I feel. Oops


----------



## leaf in the wind

Disappointed. I don't think my partner can get himself together. Not that it's a competition but I'm tired of being the stronger one who's always compromising.


----------



## Perkins

Crappy. I hate being unemployed.


----------



## Shawn81

Wide awake and in full panic mode.


----------



## riverbird

Overwhelmed. This Thursday is my last session with my therapist who I’ve been seeing for almost a year. Just another frustration to add to the pile. I have a new therapist set up but it’s going to be so annoying having to “start from scratch” with someone new.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Blah


----------



## Lightcherry

Stressed about the holidays and unable to sleep


----------



## Euripides




----------



## Graeme1988

Not feeling too great. Feeling blocked up, ah think I’m getting the flu.


----------



## harrison

Tired, leftover of a migraine from 4 days ago, angry, bit weird and out of it.


----------



## Graeme1988

Pissed and frustrated that I've constantly been undermined and lied to most of my life by family who claim to love me.

It's funny how my mother keeps telling me: _"This house is as much mine as it is yours"_. Same ol' mantra fur the last 3 years. And yet, every time I suggest something, the response is always, _"It's no worth it"_, followed by _"Ah don't know"_ when I asked for a reason why. :bash

If he don't ask, ya don't get. _Me?_ Ah just shut up n' wonder: _Why tha f&#8230;k do I even bother? Oh, but it's a different f&#8230;kin' story when ah say something's not worth doing, then am being a miserable, selfish [email protected]$&#8230;@%!_ :mad


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

My sister's ex bf showed up at the gas station next to where I work. I rarely get gas there for a reason. So I was embarrassed when he was up there. When he asked me where I work I told him then he said aww you poor thing. Well, its definitely better than someone who pimps out women and has been to jail several times. 

So poor me nothing at least compared to that. :/


----------



## Euripides

Drugged and lethargic.

But when there has to be nothing for a while and naught can be done about it, it is less painful and preferable this way. When alone, at least.
Otherwise, I'd hate this state.


Edit:
After my foreign venture, I'm left with about 100 euros until the beginning of January. I think I'm dissociating and am otherwise apathetically detached from time and space because there are 20 days to cover and they include the holidays. I had some outlook on making them the best I can, but after checking my accounts, I'll be hard-pressed to just barely make ends meet. So, yet again, I must go into isolation and wait another year. Which, I'd be furious about -- but in this state? No. And this, I must assume, is worrying me beneath the veil of this druggedness, somewhere. I don't allow myself to think beyond the immediate, which, currently, is like an hour ahead max.

In Poland, I made groundbreaking progress for change, I'd thought. But it would seem I'll be quite incapable of pulling this thread through, during these incredibly poignant times. At least, they were supposed to be. Now? Now it's the "why" of being conscious at all and the "how" of to emerge victorious above and beyond all expectations - as is the only acceptable bar to me, at this point. The only way to avoid the "nothing can be done, therefore I shan't exist" is to somehow bid for ****ty international copywriting and copy editing gigs for piecemeal capital. And to employ an absolute minimum of calories doing it. And all while being in a very deep pit, with handicapped skills, the worst physical environment for me personally right now over here, and a momentum that has lost all steam. And I'm avoidant af. But that is irrelevant. All is irrelevant. The only thing that counts is getting my **** together and getting the best results, no matter what.

Mm. Kurwa


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Tired, leftover of a migraine from 4 days ago, angry, bit weird and out of it.


Sorry to hear, I hope that you feel better over the next couple days and the migraines don't return!


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Sorry to hear, I hope that you feel better over the next couple days and the migraines don't return!


Thanks mate - I get some real doozies nowadays. Hope you're doing okay over there too.


----------



## Mystic290

Sick to my stomach


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Dreary.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Well, I sure felt energized after drinking my coffee today. Takes me like just 5 minutes to get several things done and I love it. I always feel so accomplished that way.


----------



## asittingducky

Pretty shocked. Today a doctor who co-owns a big clinic company decided to just start making fun of people with SA. I was just so baffled. Maybe it's with bad intentions, maybe it's with good intentions, maybe it's just out of context? Who knows or cares? It was a private conversation either way so I can't presume anything but I'll be damned if something about it just wasn't baffling...


----------



## Crisigv

Lots of pain


----------



## Excaliber

Crisigv said:


> Lots of pain


That's not good to hear, I hope that you feel better tomorrow.


----------



## Crisigv

Excaliber said:


> That's not good to hear, I hope that you feel better tomorrow.


No, gets worse every day.


----------



## Excaliber

Crisigv said:


> No, gets worse every day.


Each day is a new day, you can get through this. :hug


----------



## Ckg2011

Sad, very sad. I don't know what to do and no one to talk too. Life feels like it's hopeless. cry


----------



## Crisigv

Excaliber said:


> Each day is a new day, you can get through this. :hug


Who cares anymore. I want to disappear forever.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Bad.


----------



## funnynihilist

Bad


----------



## caelle

Im feeling ok and even slept pretty good even though I go to the dentist in a couple hours. I usually can't sleep at all the night before. Dentist still scares me. Well maybe not since I don't feel nervous?

But even better, my doggo daughter didn't have a seizure last night, always a good thing. And doctor's for her later this afternoon.


----------



## Excaliber

Being tired and stressed all week has done me in, not feeling too good today.


----------



## Ckg2011

Still feeling lonely and that life sucks. Also I have numbness on the bottom of my left foot.  

I just cry at random times, especially at night lying in bed all alone. Nobody there lying next to me to cuddle and love. :cry


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Lonely


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Miserable.


----------



## blue2

Scared, I turned on the light in my room & realised a big spider was heading towards my foot, what would have happened if I didn't turn on the light ?


----------



## harrison

blue2 said:


> Scared, I turned on the light in my room & realised a big spider was heading towards my foot, what would have happened if I didn't turn on the light ?


That reminds me of a movie I watched the other day - with Joaquin Phoenix and another guy that's usually in comedies. A spider went into his mouth while he was sleeping and he woke up with his face all swollen and then started vomiting up baby spiders. That was just one scene though - not a bad movie overall.

I'm feeling pretty good. Woke up without a headache for a change. Will probably still be dizzy when I go outside but we'll deal with that later.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Deflated.


----------



## Replicante

So tired


----------



## Replicante

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Lonely


&#128578;


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel like I'm meant to be alone and like I'm also meant to feel bad about that. :|


----------



## Excaliber

Not feeling to well, caught a sore throat and can barely speak now.

@harrison Glad to hear that your feeling good, hopefully your headaches stay away


----------



## Ckg2011

So lonely and sad. Wish I had someone to cuddle with.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I_Exist said:


> I feel like I'm meant to be alone and like I'm also meant to feel bad about that. :|


Nooo. :squeeze


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> *Not feeling to well, caught a sore throat and can barely speak now. *
> 
> @harrison Glad to hear that your feeling good, hopefully your headaches stay away


That doesn't sound too good - hope you're feeling better soon.

Thanks a lot - would be nice if it can stay that way for a while.


----------



## funnynihilist

Still sick. So stuffed up.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> Still sick. So stuffed up.


Me too. :bah


----------



## komorikun

My sister's cold seems to be going on for over 2 weeks now. She even had pneumonia a few years ago. Weird. She's 6 years younger than me. Her immune system must be crap. Then again I got sick a lot when I was in NYC and Japan. I don't get sick much when I live in places that don't have harsh winters (South America, California). 

I had a mild cold a couple weeks ago but it was only bad for a day or so. I still wonder if that is what caused my 2 days in a row of explosive diarrhea. Not all day. I got home on Monday and Tuesday after work and- EXPLOSION. At first I thought it was food poisoning (various raw vegetables, raspberries, old veggies I used in my cooking) but I kept eating those same foods all week and no more diarrhea. Now one of my coworkers seems to be sniffling and she took one day off of work because of "stomach issues". Hmmm....


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Pissed off. This woman at work changed my damn schedule around. She can't do that but apparently she can. She gets away with everything. This is messed up. It's not her job to do that. 

And people wonder why people want people to treat them with respect. This woman needs to get slapped.


----------



## Chris S W

I find it hard to describe. Something like dead, empty, hopeless, disconnected, miserable. No where near finding peace.


----------



## funnynihilist

komorikun said:


> My sister's cold seems to be going on for over 2 weeks now. She even had pneumonia a few years ago. Weird. She's 6 years younger than me. Her immune system must be crap. Then again I got sick a lot when I was in NYC and Japan. I don't get sick much when I live in places that don't have harsh winters (South America, California).
> 
> I had a mild cold a couple weeks ago but it was only bad for a day or so. I still wonder if that is what caused my 2 days in a row of explosive diarrhea. Not all day. I got home on Monday and Tuesday after work and- EXPLOSION. At first I thought it was food poisoning (various raw vegetables, raspberries, old veggies I used in my cooking) but I kept eating those same foods all week and no more diarrhea. Now one of my coworkers seems to be sniffling and she took one day off of work because of "stomach issues". Hmmm....


Maybe you got it from cardi b


----------



## Ckg2011

Sad, very sad and depressed. I'm feeling like a loser and that I shouldn't ever be happy again. I'm so sorry. So so sorry. cry:cry


----------



## Excaliber

Terrible night, couldn't sleep, I'm completely stuffed up. It's actually worse than yesterday.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm over here at my appointment getting impatient waiting cause it's been 40 minutes after my scheduled appointment. I hope they didnt forget about me like the last time. What are the odds of that happening two times in a row?


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I almost never post in this thread because I don't know what to say. Someone asks me how I'm feeling and my answer is either "Like ****" or "I don't know". I think that if I was feeling good, I should know it, right? Maybe?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm over here at my appointment getting impatient waiting cause it's been 40 minutes after my scheduled appointment. I hope they didnt forget about me like the last time. What are the odds of that happening two times in a row?


So I am suuuuper upset. Last time they forget about me and this time they tell me I came too early for my appointment!!!!? Why schedule me for this appointment then tell me I wasnt meant to come in today? :crying: I wasted all that time waiting for nothing. I'm always running into problems everytime I go somewhere. How does this commonly happen with me?


----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

I want to quit my job. Because My boss is unbearable to work with. It's not them, it's me. Maybe she would be a good boss to someone else but not me. But the thing is, it's the same old **** different place. Literally quitting your job to hate your life in another building. And this is gonna be my life for the next 35 years. There's no point telling me to chase after the dream, because I've chased after many dreams and it turned out they weren't my dream. I'm better off chasing after my nightmare because at least then i wouldnt have any expectations. So yeah, I wanna quit but it's gonna be the same old crap different place. Wdyd?


----------



## SparklingWater

Aaaaand we're back to excitement, hope and cautious optimism. Ah life.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired after a long day out with mother. Having some coffee and might have a snack to perk me up.


----------



## harrison

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Tired after a long day out with mother. Having some coffee and might have a snack to perk me up.


Are you still volunteering at the thrift store mate? I wouldn't mind trying to do that again. (although when I did it it was part of a community order - not exactly voluntary.) :roll

Hope things are going okay anyway.


----------



## Excaliber

Went out and bought some strepsils from the store for my sore throat, seems to do the trick but only temporarily. Hope this improves in time for Christmas.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

harrison said:


> Are you still volunteering at the thrift store mate? I wouldn't mind trying to do that again. (although when I did it it was part of a community order - not exactly voluntary.) :roll
> 
> Hope things are going okay anyway.


Yes, I am still volunteering there, and thanks for the kind words.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sick, tired, anxious, and irritable.


----------



## harrison

Think I'm getting a bit manic - very nice and warm here, that usually does it. 

I think I might have to call my wife and explode at her over the phone. God that woman's lucky she doesn't have to live me anymore.


----------



## CWe

Angry and hopeless


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Think I'm getting a bit manic - very nice and warm here, that usually does it.
> 
> I think I might have to call my wife and explode at her over the phone. God that woman's lucky she doesn't have to live me anymore.


Hope you have some A/C going or a big fan to cool down on those really hot days, drink lots of water too to stay hydrated.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Hope you have some A/C going or a big fan to cool down on those really hot days, drink lots of water too to stay hydrated.


Yeah it's getting nice and hot here mate - about 40 today. (Celsius) And again on Friday. Makes me want to go to Bali tbh.

I tried to call my wife and she wouldn't answer. Cheeky devil. Might have to try the mobile.

Hope that cold of yours is getting better too btw.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Yeah it's getting nice and hot here mate - about 40 today. (Celsius) And again on Friday. Makes me want to go to Bali tbh.
> 
> I tried to call my wife and she wouldn't answer. Cheeky devil. Might have to try the mobile.
> 
> Hope that cold of yours is getting better too btw.


If you wanna cool down come to Canada for a bit, it's nice and cold here right now. 

Thanks harrison, I'm hoping that today was the worst of it, I went and got some tablets that somewhat temporarily relieved the sore throat and sinus congestion but I'm likely going to have trouble sleeping tonight because I get so blocked up laying down.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> If you wanna cool down come to Canada for a bit, it's nice and cold here right now.
> 
> Thanks harrison, I'm hoping that today was the worst of it, I went and got some tablets that somewhat temporarily relieved the sore throat and sinus congestion but I'm likely going to have trouble sleeping tonight because I get so blocked up laying down.


Yeah those tablets are usually pretty good. Will probably be gone in a week or so at the most. 

I like Canadian accents. I heard some lady talking this morning on Youtube or the TV, I can't remember - she sounded so cute. I love the way you guys talk.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Yeah those tablets are usually pretty good. Will probably be gone in a week or so at the most.
> 
> I like Canadian accents. I heard some lady talking this morning on Youtube or the TV, I can't remember - she sounded so cute. I love the way you guys talk.


It would be nice if it's gone before Christmas, then I don't have to feel like a biohazard when we get together. My family is already telling me to keep my distance so I'm trying my best not to get them sick too.

I watched a video one time of Australia's pronunciation of words vs how Canadian's say them, was quite interesting to hear the differences. I do quite like the Australian accent.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm not feeling too bad. I got a 50 dollar gift card at my job for a Christmas present. Was not expecting that much. The previous years I got 20 dollars. So that made my day. I wonder why the sudden change.


----------



## thomasjune

I'm feeling pretty nice and relaxed. I usually feel down and out during Christmas time, just missing old friends and loved ones from my past but right now I'm just grateful for what I've had. Everything comes to an end sooner or later and I'm OK with that.
Maybe I'll feel like crap tomorrow but right now I'm good.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## zonebox

Intoxicated and happy.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> It would be nice if it's gone before Christmas, then I don't have to feel like a biohazard when we get together. My family is already telling me to keep my distance so I'm trying my best not to get them sick too.
> 
> I watched a video one time of Australia's pronunciation of words vs how Canadian's say them, was quite interesting to hear the differences. I do quite like the Australian accent.


The Australian accent can sound absolutely terrible sometimes - if it's what we call here a real "ocker" one, that is really strong. Like Paul Hogan or worse - it's just horrible. Most people don't sound like that thank God. I was watching a Youtube video the other day and there was an Aussie talking on it and it just made me cringe - God it was disgusting.


----------



## Ckg2011

Nervous, scared, and of course lonely, very very lonely.


----------



## Crisigv

Horrible, worthless


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not looking forward to having to talk to the district manager about this woman at work tomorrow. She calls me crazy through texts then saying she never asked for any days off. Then decides to send please stop texting me with angry emojis. Lol This woman has serious mental issues.

I feel like it's going to drain the energy out of me having to explain all this stuff to them. Wish I had proof that she yelled at me on the phone for no reason. My texts are proof enough.


----------



## harrison

Lonely. I don't think I'll ever get used to living alone. I despise change but I keep doing these things that make it inevitable.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Lonely. I don't think I'll ever get used to living alone. I despise change but I keep doing these things that make it inevitable.


Sorry to hear harrison, I hope that when you get together with your family for Christmas you have a good time. 

Change is something I don't deal well with either, but sometimes its necessary for the better.


----------



## andy1984

hungry


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sore, exhausted


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm upset. :crying: I'm better off secluded from the world.


----------



## blue2

So far so good, could be worse, could have been eaten alive by a shark or fell into a snake pit that would be a much worse feeling.


----------



## harrison

I feel great - just have to make sure it doesn't morph into the overly enthusiastic manic phase where I want to talk to everyone on the tram.


----------



## RedHouse

Crisigv said:


> Who cares anymore. I want to disappear forever.


:squeeze you will be alright.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm upset. :crying: I'm better off secluded from the world.


Me too.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

SamanthaStrange said:


> Me too.


Sorry that you feel this way. Smh. :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Sorry that you feel this way. Smh. :squeeze


Thanks. I can relate to a lot of your posts about how awful people are lately.


----------



## Excaliber

Its been a long afternoon, I got a nasty headache. Sleep will hopefully make it go away.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Its been a long afternoon, I got a nasty headache. Sleep will hopefully make it go away.


What do you guys take for headaches over there? Are they called Tylenol?

Here we call them Panadol - it's Paracetamol.

When my wife gets a headache I'm lucky if I can convince her to even take one of them, I'm a big pill-taker.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> What do you guys take for headaches over there? Are they called Tylenol?
> 
> Here we call them Panadol - it's Paracetamol.
> 
> When my wife gets a headache I'm lucky if I can convince her to even take one of them, I'm a big pill-taker.


Yes its called Tylenol here, we also have Advil. It says non drowsy but I sure feel lethargic. I'm usually okay with taking small pills but the big ones make me afraid of choking on them.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

SamanthaStrange said:


> Thanks. I can relate to a lot of your posts about how awful people are lately.


Its always nice to have someone understand the same way as you.

It just seems like it gets worse and worse. :frown2:


----------



## blue2

I rarely take painkillers, but Nurofen is the best painkiller, other stuff doesn't really work for me.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Yes its called Tylenol here, we also have Advil. It says non drowsy but I sure feel lethargic. I'm usually okay with taking small pills but the big ones make me afraid of choking on them.


Maybe you can break them in half? Here we can get them in little cap shaped ones too - or capsules, they go down a lot easier.


----------



## harrison

blue2 said:


> I rarely take painkillers, but Nurofen is the best painkiller, other stuff doesn't really work for me.


I have special ones for my migraines. Sumatriptan. Have to take them when the aura starts - usually stops the pain from coming on so bad, although I don't get that as much as when I was younger.

My mother started me on tablets when I was young - a bit of mother's little helper, plus an Ergodryl for the migraines. (very strong)

My sister used to jokingly call her the drug-pusher.


----------



## blue2

^^ Interesting, my mother used to be very bad with migraines when she was younger, used to have to lie in a darkened room for half a day sometimes, she said her mother was the same, though I never knew her.


----------



## harrison

blue2 said:


> ^^ Interesting, my mother used to be very bad with migraines when she was younger, used to have to lie in a darkened room for half a day sometimes, she said her mother was the same, though I never knew her.


Migraines are bad. Mine have changed a lot but are in some ways worse. Although when I was young I'd be in a dark room for a day - the Ergodryl knocked me out anyway. The best thing for them is sleep.

Nowadays they'll last a few days and I also get Vestibular Migraine as well - no pain just light-headedness. At least that's what the children (sorry, trainee neurologists) at the Eye and Ear Hospital think.


----------



## Ckg2011

Lonely, sad and depressed.


----------



## Crisigv

So many different pains right now. My back and legs are the worst right now. I can't even stay still. What the hell happened in bed?


----------



## Graeme1988

Not feeling to well. Sore throat, gut ache. Not really eating much.

Other than that, I’m quite disappointed in masel’ because none of the goals ah set for masel’ in 2019 were achieved.


----------



## daisy21g

Overworked.


----------



## harrison

My head feels like I've gone a couple of rounds with Mike Tyson. And it's all just from the crap going on inside it. Jesus I'm a ****ing disaster area.


----------



## komorikun

*wet*

:rain


----------



## WillYouStopDave

komorikun said:


> :rain


 In what sense of the word? :lol


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> My head feels like I've gone a couple of rounds with Mike Tyson. And it's all just from the crap going on inside it. Jesus I'm a ****ing disaster area.


Yikes it sounds like your having a really rough day harrison, I'm sorry to hear that, one day at a time


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## leaf in the wind

Frustrated and angry. Having a disabled partner is really draining.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Yikes it sounds like your having a really rough day harrison, I'm sorry to hear that, one day at a time


Thanks a lot mate - very nice of you.

Yeah, it's crazy - I'll never understand it. I actually woke up like that. It never ceases to amaze me all the crap that can happen just inside my own silly head. It's pretty weird.

I'm feeling a lot better now. Had to meet a friend for coffee etc this morning that I hadn't seen for a while. She gave me all these presents for Christmas and I'd completely forgotten to even give her a card. How embarassing. Saw a group of other people I know at a book market I used to sell at - was actually quite nice to see them all.

Just pretty tired now, but at least my head feels more normal. Thanks again, and hope your cold is getting better.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not good but not bad. I've completely moved on from people at this point. They're not going to come knocking if they ever need anything from me cause they dont seem to care. So toodaloo to them.


----------



## funnynihilist

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Not good but not bad. I've completely moved on from people at this point. They're not going to come knocking if they ever need anything from me cause they dont seem to care. So toodaloo to them.


Good riddance! I'm a hermit in training myself. Seems like more and more when it comes to dealing with people the juice ain't worth the squeeze.


----------



## shyraclifford

with my left hand


----------



## harrison

Bored - and I can't sleep.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Thanks a lot mate - very nice of you.
> 
> Yeah, it's crazy - I'll never understand it. I actually woke up like that. It never ceases to amaze me all the crap that can happen just inside my own silly head. It's pretty weird.
> 
> I'm feeling a lot better now. Had to meet a friend for coffee etc this morning that I hadn't seen for a while. She gave me all these presents for Christmas and I'd completely forgotten to even give her a card. How embarassing. Saw a group of other people I know at a book market I used to sell at - was actually quite nice to see them all.
> 
> Just pretty tired now, but at least my head feels more normal. Thanks again, and hope your cold is getting better.





harrison said:


> Bored - and I can't sleep.


Thank you harrison I appreciate it 

Its morning here now, its the first night I've been able to sleep decently without having to fight for it. It's slowly improving now, over this week its embarrassing how many tissue boxes I've gone through trying to clear my sinuses.

Hope you get some good sleep in too, enjoy your Sunday.


----------



## Ckg2011

Sick.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

funnynihilist said:


> Good riddance! I'm a hermit in training myself. Seems like more and more when it comes to dealing with people the juice ain't worth the squeeze.


Lol Nope. The juice definitely isn't worth the squeeze. It's a better life honestly. More peaceful.


----------



## donistired

A little alone right now.


----------



## Excaliber

Ckg2011 said:


> Sick.


That sucks, I hope you feel better before Christmas!!



Don said:


> A little alone right now.


Sorry to hear man, I hope you have a good Christmas & New Years.


----------



## James10145

Violent I might go hit the bag


----------



## Ckg2011

Excaliber said:


> That sucks, I hope you feel better before Christmas!!
> 
> Thank you I really appreciate it. :smile2:


----------



## komorikun

Tipsy. Charles Shaw.


----------



## harrison

I'm feeling good. It's a beautiful day - not hot, not cold. Went and got a few things at the shops and just had a nice rest. I can't believe it's taken me 60 years to learn how to actually save some money - but it feels nice anyway.


----------



## funnynihilist

This forum reminds me more of LinkedIn all the time lol


----------



## The Library of Emma

I can’t sleep. I’m angry, I’m exhausted. I have work tomorrow and I wish I were dead.

That is all.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

komorikun said:


> Tipsy. Charles Shaw.


 Is that a store brand for Robert Shaw?


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> I'm feeling good. It's a beautiful day - not hot, not cold. Went and got a few things at the shops and just had a nice rest. I can't believe it's taken me 60 years to learn how to actually save some money - but it feels nice anyway.


Glad to hear harrison and that your rested up, hope the shopping wasn't too crazy I know how that gets before Christmas. Its a fairly nice day here too the temperatures are mild compared to the bitterly cold and wind we had a couple days ago, it's not summer like your enjoying but it will do.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Glad to hear harrison and that your rested up, hope the shopping wasn't too crazy I know how that gets before Christmas. Its a fairly nice day here too the temperatures are mild compared to the bitterly cold and wind we had a couple days ago, it's not summer like your enjoying but it will do.


Thanks mate - glad to hear it's not as cold there as before. It's going to be nice here all week then hot again on the weekend, up to around 37 or so again.  I don't mind it actually - I'm not a big fan of cold weather.

I miss my son - I hope he's okay up there. Still in China somewhere I think, he'll be cold too. He's coming home via Thailand for a week or so - he said he wanted to sit on a beach for a while so I suggested Koh Samui. 

(wish I was there myself actually)


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm feeling blah.


----------



## harrison

There's something wrong with my head.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Persona non grata.


----------



## Evo1114

More-or-less at or somewhere around average-ish.


----------



## Replicante

Sick


----------



## thomasjune

Relaxed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Ckg2011

Lonely, very lonely.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, sluggish


----------



## Excaliber

My cold is going away so I'm feeling much better, my head isn't pounding like before, plan to help with making some cookies and go to the store to pick up some goods for Christmas eve.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel sluggish. Not in the best spirits but even so I have to keep going.


----------



## Manooffewwords

Worried.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm pissed my manager asked if everything was okay between me and that woman that works for me. I said we settled it when really we didnt cause no one did anything and she joked around saying I'm gonna take a paddle and whip both of yall then said yall know better than that. I didnt even do anything wrong. She sounded a tad bit mad when she said it, too. The woman came in yelling at me publicly at work. Apparently standing up for yourself let alone standing up for yourself after someone yells at you means you deserve to get whipped.


----------



## andy1984

hungry and slightly ill


----------



## harrison

Starting to feel a bit Christmassy actually.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> My cold is going away so I'm feeling much better, my head isn't pounding like before, plan to help with making some cookies and go to the store to pick up some goods for Christmas eve.


Sounds nice mate - glad the cold's going away too.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Sounds nice mate - glad the cold's going away too.


Thanks harrison much appreciated. 

Sounds like your going to have quite a feast harrison, that pavlova sounds interesting as I've never heard of that. Hope you have a wonderful time.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Thanks harrison much appreciated.
> 
> Sounds like your going to have quite a feast harrison, that pavlova sounds interesting as I've never heard of that. Hope you have a wonderful time.


Thanks mate.

Yeah, it's always pretty good at our place for Christmas. Should be okay - just have to try and stop my brother-in-law from devouring the entire table. 

(just kidding)


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Thanks harrison much appreciated.
> 
> Sounds like your going to have quite a feast harrison, that* pavlova* sounds interesting as I've never heard of that. Hope you have a wonderful time.


I think pavlova might be an Australian thing. It's meringue on the bottom with lots of cream and fruit and stuff all over it. (guaranteed to make you feel slightly sick and put on about 20 pounds)


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> I think pavlova might be an Australian thing. It's meringue on the bottom with lots of cream and fruit and stuff all over it. (guaranteed to make you feel slightly sick and put on about 20 pounds)


It looks delicious, I think most desserts have a way of doing that to you if your not careful :lol


----------



## harrison

SamanthaStrange said:


> Persona non grata.


You're important to us.

Some of us _do_ care you know - and not all of us have an ulterior motive. (I'm too old - and dizzy, plus I could put a hip out.) 

I hope you have a Happy Christmas anyway.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

harrison said:


> You're important to us.
> 
> Some of us _do_ care you know - and not all of us have an ulterior motive. (I'm too old - and dizzy, plus I could put a hip out.)
> 
> I hope you have a Happy Christmas anyway.


Thanks. I hope you do too.


----------



## asittingducky

Still feeling shocked. In addition to a doctor going around making fun of SA I've listened to people act like people with SA are crazy. In response to that I feel like telling these scam artists that at least I tackle my problems head on and try to work on my weaknesses instead of running away from them with medications or anything else. I've had to survive completely on my own where I've seen other people completely break down and fall back on their super-extensive support group. Not everybody has that. I'd like to see all these pricks who make fun of people or enjoy watching people suffer try and survive all alone like us SA'ers do!


----------



## RelinquishedHell

asittingducky said:


> Still feeling shocked. In addition to a doctor going around making fun of SA I've listened to people act like people with SA are crazy. In response to that I feel like telling these scam artists that at least I tackle my problems head on and try to work on my weaknesses instead of running away from them with medications or anything else. I've had to survive completely on my own where I've seen other people completely break down and fall back on their super-extensive support group. Not everybody has that. I'd like to see all these pricks who make fun of people or enjoy watching people suffer try and survive all alone like us SA'ers do!


What doctor is doing that? Is he 15 years old?


----------



## asittingducky

RelinquishedHell said:


> What doctor is doing that? Is he 15 years old?


Idk he has a job with huge responsibilities so I don't want to jump to conclusions, but either way that sort of behavior was just really unexpected. I worry that doctors are judgemental and make more hasty assumptions than people realize (or would be comfortable with tbh). When I worked in a lab we learned about something called confirmation bias, since then NONE of the jobs I've had seem to understand this concept. For instance, just today I felt like somebody was belittling my background and intelligence and personal habits. They probably thought I had much to learn and maybe I wasn't communicating well that I knew everything that was going on but that's just the vibe I was getting.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

Phel said:


> I can't sleep. I'm angry, I'm exhausted. I have work tomorrow and I wish I were dead.
> 
> That is all.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel kind of good. It is nice to hear people wondering about your whereabouts and your well fair. I done it a lot for others in the past but it seem like it is returning to me. They say what you put out into this Universe will come back unto you. In big or small ways. Just the smallest kind of care and concern mean a lot. It can lift a person's spirits up.


----------



## funnynihilist

Christmas mainly seems like a time for people who's lives are going well.


----------



## 10k

funnynihilist said:


> Christmas mainly seems like a time for people who's lives are going well.


I agree


----------



## blue2

Like a unpicked blackberry.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Just a bit regretful. Should've went all out for the gifts this year but I just wasn't feeling it. I ended up having a good time though. At first I didnt but then after everyone opened gifts everyone seemed like they all looked less dead. :lol


----------



## The Linux Guy

I'm feeling dead.


----------



## funnynihilist

I_Exist said:


> I'm feeling dead.


I always do


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like I ate too much. Tired. Headache.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I am not sure. I feel good but at the same time I dont want to go back to work tomorrow.


----------



## ABurnedPrince

I'm in pain T_T


----------



## The Linux Guy

I'm feeling kinda sick and tired. Woozy. I guess is the correct word for it.


----------



## Excaliber

I'm feeling pretty good, cold is still lingering a bit but its much better than last week. Got together with family and it was nice to sit down and open presents.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I simply wish I was dead.


----------



## lily

I_Exist said:


> I simply wish I was dead.


:squeeze ^prayed for you


----------



## coldmorning

Lonely, though I am often surrounded by people.


----------



## funnynihilist

Glad that it's over. IDK Christmas doesn't do it for me anymore. It's the repetition of it. Like a habit that has to be done.
Instead of getting everyone stirred up over one day a year maybe everyone should be living everyday with more passion.
They won't though. It's like society gives us permission to be a little weird at the end of December and then it's back to work!


----------



## Excaliber

Im feeling good but tired. The smoke alarm went off in the house during the night and I thought there was a fire, turns out nothing so not sure why the thing acted up. I pulled out the batteries, I think the thing needs to be replaced all together.


----------



## andy1984

i think i feel angry with my friend.


----------



## Replicante

A bit sick yet. Spent the night throwing up.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Replicante said:


> A bit sick yet. Spent the night throwing up.


That sucks.  Hope you get better soon. :squeeze


----------



## The Linux Guy

lily said:


> I can't sleep yet and I don't want to bc I was bored today so I slept a lot already to the point I wasn't feeling well. I find that I cannot stay at home for even one day but I really had nothing else to do today and I felt so tired bc of the medications I'm still on. :roll  Any company would be nice.


I hope you feel better soon.


----------



## Replicante

PurplePeopleEater said:


> That sucks.  Hope you get better soon.


Thanks &#128578;


----------



## CNikki

Right now, sore. :/


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Replicante said:


> Thanks &#128578;


You're welcome.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Lonely of course. But this how things are when you don't have friends. I can't have them.


----------



## lily

I_Exist said:


> Lonely of course. But this how things are when you don't have friends. I can't have them.


:squeeze ^prayed for you


----------



## asittingducky

Lot of self-loathing for my ineptitude at dealing with SA. So much wasted potential and time...now turned to a complete deterioration of my mind and any skill set I had.


----------



## Musicfan

Headache, right side hurts, nausea and no appetite.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A bit disappointed that I ended up not going to the mall today. Maybe next week.


----------



## harrison

Migraine. Won't be going outside today. Plus I miss my wife.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel alright for the moment. I took a shower. I don't know what I will do for the rest of the evening.


----------



## Fun Spirit

lily said:


> Nice to see you!  I'm glad you feel alright atm. I hope you will somehow fill in the time with sth nice for the rest of the day. I wish that for myself too.


Nice to see you too.: )
Thank You. Hopefully it will last.
I hope your day will be good.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> Wish you well. I hope you have fun if you go to the mall. I got new, nice boots during the holiday and before the holiday I got a new jacket.


That's nice. :grin2: Did you have fun?

Thank you.


----------



## unemployment simulator

alone, and sick. :/


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Still feel a bit energized. I will definitely need a coffee for Monday. I was bouncing off the walls today. Not really but yea. I love coffee.


----------



## blue2

I need cocaine for Monday : /


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Irritable. :bah


----------



## harrison

A bit tired - and a thick, heavy sort of feeling in my head. Not sure what the hell that is. Getting hot too - going to be 43 today. My God.


----------



## Excaliber

Absolutely awful, I got over my cold but now I caught the stomach bug, at least I seem to be over the worst of it.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Absolutely awful, I got over my cold but now I caught the stomach bug, at least I seem to be over the worst of it.


Oh man - you're really copping it from all sides. Maybe it was something you ate?

Hope you're feeling better soon anyway mate.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> it was nice. Thank you and you're welcome :grin2:


That's awesome. :smile2: Glad you enjoyed it and were able to go out and do something. It does suck staying in all the time.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored. Lonely. This day is dragging.


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed, hopeless and suicidal


----------



## komorikun

My intestines aren't so great.


----------



## funnynihilist

komorikun said:


> My intestines aren't so great.


They look fine from here


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> It does. I'm glad I went out today and to church and was out enjoying things I like to do. I complimented someone on their singing and they said thanks and introduced themself and asked what my name was and wished me a Happy New Year! :grin2: I wished him a happy new year too. He was nice and friendly.


Aww, that was nice. :yes


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Oh man - you're really copping it from all sides. Maybe it was something you ate?
> 
> Hope you're feeling better soon anyway mate.


Thanks harrison, yeah sure does seem like it, all within this month. I'm not sure where I got it from but its been terrible, only just now I've been able to eat something and keep it down. Wonderful way to end the year haha. I hope your in good health yourself.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Lonely

I have made so many connections this year and I'm more sociable than ever, but still miss someone after well over 2 years and still have money issues. Those last two things, bother me greatly.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Feel worse than I have in months. That time of the year.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not doing too bad. Did q little bit of shopping at Walgreens. Even with my savings card, it still wasnt really cheap so I won't be going there much. I thought about buying a hair straightener but they damage hair so I dont really see the point in getting one.


----------



## harrison

Better now it's cooler. Only 21 today after 43 yesterday. Had about a million calls yesterday from my wife worried about the bushfires. I'm glad that's over for the time being anyway.


----------



## Ckg2011

Very sad and depressed. :cry


----------



## Crisigv

alone


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Better now it's cooler. Only 21 today after 43 yesterday. Had about a million calls yesterday from my wife worried about the bushfires. I'm glad that's over for the time being anyway.


That's perfect weather, and the most comfortable when I go riding on my motorcycle. Happy New Year harrison! How is the future? Since I'm still in the previous decade :lol

Hope the bush fires get under control, they look terrible on the news, the sky was completely orange in some photos. I feel bad for the animals that can't get away like the koalas.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Stuffed up from my cold, and a bit lonely. Wish I had someone to put my arm around on the couch and keep me warm. Oh well.


----------



## Memories of Silence

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Stuffed up from my cold, and a bit lonely. Wish I had someone to put my arm around on the couch and keep me warm. Oh well.


I hope you feel better soon. :squeeze If I could teleport, I would cuddle you on your couch and keep you warm.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A bit amused. The woman that lives here said her son broke parole. I knew eventually something would happen to where he'd go back to prison so the police arrested him. She said she wouldnt go to jail for anyone or even her son by lying to them about where he was at. She said she didnt care who they were. Wow. Lol

But yea. Me neither. No one wants to go to jail or prison. I wouldnt if he intentionally went out of state knowing that he's not supposed to. He kinda gets what he deserves honestly. I mean his gf got hooked on drugs again after she got with him. Smh. And she seemed like she was doing better before he got out and got together with her. 

Only thing is I hope this woman I live with doesnt go back to her old ways getting onto me for no reason about stuff cause ever since she came back 6 months ago, she hasnt gotten mad or onto me about anything and this has been for 6 months. And I think partially the reason why she hasn't been getting mad at me is cause her son was getting out of prison. I hope that's not the only reason.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Silent Memory said:


> I hope you feel better soon. :squeeze If I could teleport, I would cuddle you on your couch and keep you warm.


Thanks Jessica. :squeezeMy sore throat is gone, but I still feel stuffed up. Oh, and since we live so far away we should keep each other warm and cozy through the power of dreams. :grin2::kiss:


----------



## blue2

Like a spider sandwich.


----------



## The Linux Guy

My eye is bloodshot from looking at the computer screen for too long.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> That's perfect weather, and the most comfortable when I go riding on my motorcycle. Happy New Year harrison! How is the future? Since I'm still in the previous decade :lol
> 
> Hope the bush fires get under control, they look terrible on the news, the sky was completely orange in some photos. I feel bad for the animals that can't get away like the koalas.


Happy New Year to you too mate. Yeah, these fires are unbelievable. My wife got a scare the other day when it was very hot - there was a fire not that far from her place. Gave us both a fright actually. But it's okay now - most of them are further out now. But yeah, I feel sorry for all the animals too - it's terrible.

A whole lot of people spent last night huddled on a beach while their town burnt down, they were ready to jump in the water if they had to. Must have been terrifying for them, poor things.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Wtf. I heard a super loud explosion that obviously wasn't fireworks right after it turned 2020. Scared the daylights out of me. Jesus christ. I've heard these explosions before. That one sounded like it was right in the backyard this time.

Only thing I can think of is that it was a meth lab explosion.


----------



## copper

Sore all over due to snow removal duties after getting 15 inches of heavy wet snow. I fell asleep at 6 pm but the stupid cat got restless by jumping on and off bed waking me up.


----------



## CNikki

Nauseated.


----------



## zonebox

I feel really sleepy.. I need a nap.

I'm also a little frustrated, because I need to install a new toilet I purchased, but the flange the toilet sits on is destroyed.. Whoever designed this house did the plumbing in a strange way so that I can't just use a repair kit, I have to carve out the old PVC flange from the pipe, which is going to be a lengthy and dirty job, then I'll need to install a new flange. Well, at the very least smashing the old toilet was kind of fun.. 

But yeah.. tired, so sleepy.. must.. nap.. Did anyone actually read this? Why would anyone torture themselves like that. I mean, I said flange like a million times or so. I doubt I used the word flange at all before today.. Flange.. flange, what a weird word.. f l a n g e.. flllaaaaaaange.. 

Happy 2020 everyone  I'm taking my nap.


----------



## Crisigv

very depressed


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I seep bad luck through my veins. :crying:

I tried going to a doctor where I didjt have to make an appointment. Of course they couldn't verify my insurance card so I had to call an ex coworker for help and she said I should've gotten new ones cause she did but I didnt get any. I run into problems non stop. I just want to cure this problem with my eye. :cry


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Not feeling to well. Sore throat, gut ache. Not really eating much.
> 
> Other than that, I'm quite disappointed in masel' because none of the goals ah set for masel' in 2019 were achieved.


Hope you feel better soon and Happy new year! You were being creative last year :grin2:


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> Hope you feel better soon and Happy new year!


Happy New Year to you as well, lily. 



lily said:


> You were being creative last year :grin2:


Yeah, I know... I just don't feel that I was being creative enough, though. Like ah should've really got more done as far as my music goes. It feels like ah lost a lot of momentum. 

Doesn't exactly help that I'm still stuck in the same depressing situation as I was 3 years ago. Being constantly discouraged, treated like crap and having to deal with my family's issues, still.


----------



## Excaliber

Feeling better today though I'm still contagious.


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Wtf. I heard a super loud explosion that obviously wasn't fireworks right after it turned 2020. Scared the daylights out of me. Jesus christ. I've heard these explosions before. That one sounded like it was right in the backyard this time.
> 
> Only thing I can think of is that it was a meth lab explosion.


Or if there were any military planes in the area, it might have been a sonic boom? I heard the one over London a while ago: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-50618956


----------



## Musicfan

Stressed.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

LydeaCharlotte said:


> Or if there were any military planes in the area, it might have been a sonic boom? I heard the one over London a while ago: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-50618956


At the speed of sound? :O

Oh, I'm thinking of speed of light. Haha.


----------



## zonebox

conantheworthless said:


> @zonebox I read it and was highly impressed , you seem to be handy. I wish I could say the same. I learned a new word though with your flange  Smashing the toilet sounds like good therapy though.


I wish I were handy, I mostly just browse the Internet until I find the information I need :lol I swear, I'm part cyborg at times. I would say, I'm pretty good at filtering out the noise though, and not easily snatched up by irrelevant information that is abundant out there.. well irrelevant information that would elicit a strong emotional reaction anyway :lol


----------



## CNikki

Person casually talking to me: "Hey, how are you?"

Me: "On the verge of a nice panic attack; having on-and-off existential crises; feeling lost in time and not really sure what to do about all of it since most of what I want can't be 'done now.' I miss having some things and individuals that I thought were great and made life seem a bit bearable and worthwhile to live. Days go by and next thing you know, it turns into weeks, months, years...(wasted). Another words, the usual."

Reality of my robotic, cliche response: "I'm good, how are you?"


----------



## Persephone The Dread

conantheworthless said:


> @zonebox I read it and was highly impressed , you seem to be handy. I wish I could say the same. I learned a new word though with your flange  Smashing the toilet sounds like good therapy though.


----------



## zonebox

Persephone The Dread said:


>


:lol That is much more like it


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> Thank you!
> Ok that could be your new year resolution! :grin2: :hug :squeeze


Thanks for that suggestion, lily. Might actually make it one of my New Year's Resolutions. Along with getting back in shape. :grin2:



lily said:


> I didn't get a lot done recently either. I don't feel productive


I know the feeling...  I never really got much done, either. I just managed to get some tidying done before New Year, but I still got a lot more to do. And every time I mentioned it last month, my mother just tries to discourage me - which is frustrating. :bash


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I have felt bad all day today. Just one thing after another. I need a breather.


----------



## Crisigv

So much anxiety and stress. I want to disappear.


----------



## zonebox

I am feeling victorious! I have slain the flange of doom, removed its filthy corpse from the connecting tube, installed the new one along with the toilet. I am now a level 2 flange slayer, and it is a title I can wear with pride. I just hope I have made all of my saving throws, and will not come down with an illness.. I did wear my latex gloves of protection though, so I think I shall be fine.

For tonight, I shall drink of the rum, and play games.. happy in the knowledge that I can relieve myself in my own bathroom  I think I'll write a song of my adventure, and sing it to my wife.. it will be glorius! 

Having no toilet of my own sucked, but I needed the right tools for the job.. so I had to wait a few days.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Lily Sleeping a lot is just a waste of time imo so I know what you mean. I hate it when I sleep more than 9 hours. I usually get 7-9 so I'm not wasting a lot of time. Hope you get your motivation back. I've been feeling a bit depressed myself. Slept for like 12 hours yesterday but I was sickies.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> Ok so I've washed the dishes today and then after that started doing the laundry and then I did exercise and I even just saw that I lost more than 5 lbs! :grin2: I'm proud of myself! Getting back in shape is a great new year's resolution!


Good to hear, lily. Sounds like you've made a good start on that New Year's Resolution. :high5



lily said:


> I didn't feel great earlier though, I slept too much.


I know the feeling, lily. I tend not feel great if I sleep too much as well; I can get quite depressed in fact. Especially if I end accidentally sleeping in on days that I've planned out the night before. Though, I've started setting the alarm on my phone for 8 or 9 o'clock each morning, so I get up earlier in the day. Or, sometimes, I'll just lay in bed, plug in my headphones and watch movies on my iPad. :grin2:


----------



## harrison

Bit tired and quite light-headed. I started taking my pills again to stop the migraines but I think it causes dizziness too. Can't win.


----------



## FitBoy

It's the day when you come to one of the crystals which can raising your mind and inspiring hope, joy, serenity and satisfaction when your time is difficult to accept positive feelings.
There are quite a few crystals that will help to calm the emotions. Many of these stones will help you to get a better feeling of life by encouraging you to feel lighter, look at the light side even though life is challenging.


----------



## Crisigv

Broken, in so many ways. I'm really struggling to live with this.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am feeling better than usual. Getting sleepy. Will be in bed soon. Need to go to my work shift tomorrow afternoon with mother again. That should be fun.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Bit tired and quite light-headed. I started taking my pills again to stop the migraines but I think it causes dizziness too. Can't win.


That's not fun, hope they stop soon, Did you get to enjoy your New Years at least?


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> That's not fun, hope they stop soon, Did you get to enjoy your New Years at least?


Yes thanks mate - not too bad, just a quiet one for me. Hope you had a good New Years, how are you feeling now - all better?


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I got to tell someone to "Get with the 20's".. I haven't been able to do something like that for a while now, like since the 90s. Get with the times mom, it's the 90s.. Yay, its back


----------



## harrison

Sad, lonely and my anxiety is terrible.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Nervous about going to my ophthalmologist Monday.


----------



## Crisigv

miserable and hurt


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Yes thanks mate - not too bad, just a quiet one for me. Hope you had a good New Years, how are you feeling now - all better?


I'm feeling a lot better now thankfully, I'm taking it easy for a bit, I haven't been that sick in a long time so I hope that I don't catch anything again anytime soon.


----------



## CNikki

Anxious and it's pretty much self-inflicted (another words I could have prevented as to why I'm anxious to begin with.) Why am I on the short stick of the genetic lottery and as the result such a freakin' dimwit?


:bash :bash :bash :bash :bash :bash


----------



## leaf in the wind

Frustrated and despaired. 

Trying to get ahead in life is impossible for people like me. It makes me so upset and angry.


----------



## Citrine79

I am currently a combo of hopeless, angry, frustrated, miserable and lonely. Work
sucks. My unfriendly, unpleasant city sucks. And having no friends, hobbies or activities to do on weekends is demoralizing and really
taking its toll on me.


----------



## Citrine

I don’t know. I was actually feeling okay earlier when I was with my family and cousins. And then after going out with my boyfriend’s friends I feel so...disappointed in myself maybe? I didn’t engage with them as much as I would have liked to. And now it’s gnawing at me while I try to sleep. And I feel a little silly for feeling this way. Pls stop brain.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I spent some time on here, and now I'm feeling sad.


----------



## komorikun

There are 2 Citrines!? :con


----------



## harrison

I hate having a nap and waking up in a state of near panic.


----------



## Blue Dino

Stomach is bothering me. This use to be happen frequently years ago. But now this happens less often. I hope its just indigestion and it eases. Oddly my appetite right now is pretty good. And my diet today hasn't been great. Greasy foods, and raw fish. :eek


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Blue Dino said:


> Stomach is bothering me. This use to be happen frequently years ago. But now this happens less often. I hope its just indigestion and it eases. Oddly my appetite right now is pretty good. And my diet today hasn't been great. Greasy foods, and raw fish. :eek


 Greasy foods often go through me like greased lightning. Go figure. :lol


----------



## Blue Dino

WillYouStopDave said:


> Greasy foods often go through me like greased lightning. Go figure. :lol


Yeah I had leftover fried pork chops a few hours ago, and it turned out to be more greasy than I thought after i reheat them. Stomach had gurgling and growling. Meanwhile I kept having a craving to munch on snacks. Hopefully this soup I am reheating will help.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Blue Dino said:


> Yeah I had leftover fried pork chops a few hours ago, and it turned out to be more greasy than I thought after i reheat them. Stomach had gurgling and growling. Meanwhile I kept having a craving to munch on snacks. Hopefully this soup I am reheating will help.


 :O

Oh man. If I mixed greasy food and soup in the same day I'd be spraying toxic sludge for hours.


----------



## harrison

Strange. Woke up with anxiety which sort of morphed into mild mania - but now it's sort of hard to tell.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Strange. Woke up with anxiety which sort of morphed into mild mania - but now it's sort of hard to tell.


Hopefully you are okay now, and stay that way


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Hopefully you are okay now, and stay that way


Thanks mate - glad you're over your sickness too. I'm feeling fairly normal today (wonders will never cease) :roll. Might go up and see my wife - plus my son's back from his holidays. I'm glad he's home safe and sound.


----------



## Kevin001

Tired


----------



## Excaliber

After being sick for the last couple weeks and finally getting over that, I hope I don't catch anything else anytime soon. I'm feeling fairly good today, tonight's gonna be a board game night so that should be fun.


----------



## hateliving

My tummy is driving me nuts.


----------



## Excaliber

hateliving said:


> My tummy is driving me nuts.


Sorry to hear, its not the flu is it? It's been making its rounds. I hope you feel better soon.


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed


----------



## harrison

Feeling a bit lighter this morning in my mood - had a very heavy, depressed feeling last night. Had to do my anxiety self-hypnosis/meditation thing from Youtube just to try and calm down. It helps a bit.

Going for lunch with my son and my wife today in a hour or so. Plus I heard from a friend in Paris, she's a lovely girl. Everyone's worried about the bushfires here.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Feeling a bit lighter this morning in my mood - had a very heavy, depressed feeling last night. Had to do my anxiety self-hypnosis/meditation thing from Youtube just to try and calm down. It helps a bit.
> 
> Going for lunch with my son and my wife today in a hour or so. Plus I heard from a friend in Paris, she's a lovely girl. Everyone's worried about the bushfires here.


Glad to hear that it helps a bit, sorry to hear that your feeling down harrison. 

Hopefully you enjoy your lunch with your wife and son, good to hear you get to spend some time with them. Yes the bushfires just seem absolutely crazy over there, stay safe.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Glad to hear that it helps a bit, sorry to hear that your feeling down harrison.
> 
> Hopefully you enjoy your lunch with your wife and son, good to hear you get to spend some time with them. Yes the bushfires just seem absolutely crazy over there, stay safe.


Thanks mate - I'm feeling a bit better now. I should send you the link to that thing on Youtube if you like, it might help you too. He's got a funny Aussie accent though.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - I'm feeling a bit better now. I should send you the link to that thing on Youtube if you like, it might help you too. He's got a funny Aussie accent though.


Your welcome harrison 

Sure you can send me the link, I would be interested in hearing what his accent sounds like, I'll let you know what I think.


----------



## Replicante

I'm feeling better


----------



## XebelRebel

Someone's recent pair of posts highlighted a meaningful coincidence -- and then that person said something which prompted me to consider that I may have appeared frightening; perhaps even threatening. (That is how I experience talking to, conversing with, or listening to "other people": a back-and-forth exchange of ideas between myself and Miss Elf, rather like Parliamentary Ping-pong).

I want to say to that specific person that I do not recall stalking their SAS forum post history, although it seems like something I might have wanted to do years ago. Also -- I haven't literally stalked them "in person" with this Tor identity (with the reference to that anonymous web browser being a metaphor). Some of the words I chose to talk about another poster may have "come out wrong", when put into context with things I mentioned regarding Brandon Breyer, as well as what I said with respect to the specific person I am talking of now.

P.S. I suggest that anyone who may have been disturbed by what I've written on my way of seeing the world, but who has *not* more-or-less completely rejected the ideas as if they are nonsense, subsequently views a movie called _The Celestine Prophecy_: available from Amazon Prime's streaming video service (as well as being available for purchasing as a DVD, not necessarily from Amazon -- as business monopolies ought to be opposed). Some words of warning: "following" a trail of meaningful coincidences can seem as if one is being "mind-controlled" by something greater -- but that's wrong; the "something greater" is The Self, so don't worry. The meaningful coincidences are being generated by the self! One has free will, genuinely, as there is a sort of feedback effect going on resulting from one's free will being utilised to choose the preferred experience.


----------



## Excaliber

Well I feel like another cold is setting in just 2 weeks after my other one finished up, I'm been progressively getting more stuffed up today. I've really not had it good health wise the last couple weeks.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Foolish. Insignificant.


----------



## Crisigv

disposable


----------



## harrison

I'm actually feeling pretty good. No more migraines since I started my medication again, I hope it stays that way. Had a nice chat to some people today - and managed to get out after a very bad yesterday.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Well I feel like *another cold* is setting in just 2 weeks after my other one finished up, I'm been progressively getting more stuffed up today. I've really not had it good health wise the last couple weeks.


Not another one mate?


----------



## harrison

lily said:


> I'm glad your today was better than yesterday.


Thanks a lot Lily - very nice of you.


----------



## Graeme1988

Depressed, tired and frustrated. Fed up with being snapped at for repeating a question to my mother when she gives me 2 contradictory answers to a simple question. Fed up with being told that ah should still care after one of my siblings told me to my that I do nothing for the family. Like I should still care about that person? _Nah! Sorry, but piss off..._

Yet, the irony is that: I know full well that I'd be better living on my own, despite my disability.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Not another one mate?


Unfortunately it is, I can definitely feel it today. 



harrison said:


> I'm actually feeling pretty good. No more migraines since I started my medication again, I hope it stays that way. Had a nice chat to some people today - and managed to get out after a very bad yesterday.


I'm very glad to hear your feeling pretty good and that the medication is helping keep the migraines away. Hoping it stays that way and you enjoy your weekend.


----------



## Excaliber

lily said:


> That happened to me too once Excaliber, you're not the only one. Sorry to hear that and hope you feel better soon.


Thank you lily, It sucks, I hope it passes quickly.



lily said:


> I probably won't even take a sleep since I slept too much already. I will go and eat breakfast, get ready and then go to volunteer, that's probably the plan. I would like to be feeling better when I'm out and over there.


I hope that you'll be feeling better as well, then be able to enjoy your day when you go volunteering.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Physically drained, feels like I didn't sleep.


----------



## copper

Sinuses are killing me. Been feeling like crap for a couple of weeks now. Real tired too. Took yesterday and today off due to not feeling good. I wish I could go take a nap but have to wait for the mail due to I have to sign for a package and don't want to miss them. Sometimes the mail comes early but doesn't look like that will happen. It will be the normal 2-3 pm. I really suffer with my Sinuses in the winter. Wish I could afford to a warmer climate but can't afford it.


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling good, playing a bit of NeverWinter, drinking some soda, puffing away at my vape, and earning money while the TV plays commercials. I have the fan blowing which feels great, the weather outside is nice, my dorkus of a dog is relaxing next to me. Yeah, this is pretty sweet. Tonight I'll have a bit of rum and cola, listen to some music on pandora, play a few games, read a bit on the Internet, and enjoy my early retirement.


----------



## Replicante

lily said:


> Replicante said:
> 
> 
> 
> I'm feeling better
> 
> 
> 
> That's nice to hear.
Click to expand...

Thank you, lily &#128578;


----------



## komorikun

That was a good shower. Used some of the mango body butter. Prefer the smell of the strawberry one better.


----------



## CNikki

Clammy and irritated. How did it go from 20 - 30F to nearly 70F in a span of a day?


----------



## blue2

Sunny side up.


----------



## Graeme1988

I don't even know anymore... Numb and depressed as f&#8230;k. But that more or less sum up the last 3 years of my life. Cannae even vent any of that my mother, because - according to her - that means I hate her, apparently. As I found out yesterday. :bash

Cuz how ah feel mean feck all, right? _Aye, cuz never mind we're still stuck in the same routine from the summer of 2017, despite my older sister and her kids no longer living in the house with us. Never mind that it's me who constantly gits telt to *"Look after Mum"*, yet she refuses to look after herself. Never mind that the 2 options going through my head most of the time are either:

*"Ah need tae seriously git tha f&#8230;k oot o' this house"* or *"F&#8230;k it! Ah might as well kill masel'..."*_

Cuz ah never hid the fact I was miserable. Still dinnae, cuz ya just tell by lookin' at me! They just chose tae either laugh it off as a joke. Or frame it as me saying it for attention. Then if their being genuine in their concern and ah tell them why am depressed, I'm just telt that ah shouldn't feel that way. _Which is great advice, innit? "Aww... Snap oot o' it, ya miserable [email protected]$%@*#!"_


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> :hug :squeeze Hope you can just try to ignore your family drama and tell them how you feel and then close your door in your room or something and focus on playing instruments or doing what you're interested in doing.


Kinda difficult to ignore the family drama when I'm being tarred with same brush by my mother own words, when she says things like:

_"I'm sick of how you lot treat me"_ :mum

_How am I supposed to react? Just detach and pretend like she isn't saying that to make me feel equally as guilty as my sisters? Easier said than done, unfortunately... considering I'm her only son. Even if she hasn't always treated me like I was._

And I do as you said - tell 'em how ah feel, shut ma room door and either blast my music or playing guitar or keyboard. But 9 times outta 10 that just causes another family argument. :bash And, unfortunately for me, my guitar or keyboard playing tends to suffer a lot as a result. Because I'm approach the instruments with a lot of anger. I'm not playing for sake of playing or my own enjoyment, it's more reactionary. If that makes sense? A release...

Then there's the fact she'll vent to me, but that courtesy is never returned. Though, the only reason my mother vents to me is because - unlike my siblings - my response isn't: _"Pfft... awww poor you! What about me?"_



lily said:


> Today isn't one of my best days either.


Sorry to hear that, lily.



lily said:


> it got better though in the late evening and it's going to get better bc I'm going to have pasta and fruit crepe later. :grin2:


That sounds lovely. :grin2:


----------



## Crisigv

no better, no different, worthless garbage, repulsive


----------



## SparklingWater

Pretty damn good. I'll be turning 33 in a few months, and though I could've done without the many detours and sidelines in my life due to my "mental health" aka being abused and ****ed with and coping in ****ty ways, I'm pretty happy with how things are going. Here's to a life worth living.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> Thank you!
> I understand now :hug :squeeze
> hope things get better like it was before
> how did it become like this?


The breakdown of my older sister's marriage pretty much caused things to become as they are now. They broke up, she got full custody of her kids and moved back in with my mother and I for a few months. From the summer until December of 2017. Or I stupidly agreed to let her move back in, since I got final say. Even though, I did warn my mother to brace for things be exactly like it used to be before my older sister got married... but that just got the usual laugh-out-loud response from my mother and oldest sister, who was in the living room with us when I said how things would play out. And in the end, I ended up being right. _Then it started..._

Arguments on an almost daily basis. The tears, the _"Ah cannae cope"_ pity party mantra. My mother and I constantly being berated, and told we don't give a ****. I even got told by my older sister last year, before Christmas, that I do nothing around the house. Then she smirked at me, which made me want to hit her and point out the difference in how we treat our mother. And the fact that I'm always saying: _If ye need anything, just gimme a shout. I'm just upstairs"_ Because that really would've cut deep, given that I'm only one still sharing a house with mum; therefore I like to think I know her better than either of my sisters.

Anyway, this snide _"You dae nuthin' aroon here, anyway"_ remark was in response me saying: _"Whit d'ye want me to do about it?"_ after I came downstairs in the middle of my older sister and mum arguing about other mother's excessive buying and spending habit when she's go out for the weekly food shopping. I even pointed out that I'd been telling mum to stop this excessive shopping before I had my orthopaedic surgery. And that she even promised me she'd stop doing it, once I was back on my feet after the rehab. But the promise wasn't kept. So, I just gave up, because -after awhile - I realised she wasn't going to change her ways.

That said, I am trying to get us back into the old routine of how things were before the summer of 2017. My mother and I mean. It's just frustrating that my mum isn't as committed to getting things back to how they were. 

I actually want to be able to wake up in the mornings and feeling happy again, y'know? Like I used to...


----------



## CNikki

Numb but at the same time emotional and all over the place as to why. Cannot explain it.


----------



## harrison

Like I'd like to break something or smash a few heads together.


----------



## SparklingWater

CNikki said:


> Clammy and irritated. How did it go from 20 - 30F to nearly 70F in a span of a day?


Lol you must be in the northeast like me. **** is crazy.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Hungry. Didn't eat a lunch today so I wont be able to eat until after 7 PM. :/


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Very emotional lately


----------



## harrison

Slightly manic but not too bad, plus a bit worried this new psychiatrist will want me to take a whole pile of new pills. My wife says she'll hopefully be better than the last guy - basically because she's a woman. I think she actually has a point - they're often more understanding. That last poor guy looked like he should be on medication himself. Jesus.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Slightly manic but not too bad, plus a bit worried this new psychiatrist will want me to take a whole pile of new pills. My wife says she'll hopefully be better than the last guy - basically because she's a woman. I think she actually has a point - they're often more understanding. That last poor guy looked like he should be on medication himself. Jesus.


I hope that your new psychiatrist will be better as well, hopefully she doesn't put you on a whole bunch of different pills


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> I hope that your new psychiatrist will be better as well, hopefully she doesn't put you on a whole bunch of different pills


Hi mate - how's your cold?

Yeah, they always want to do that, it's very annoying. Will see what she's like though.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Hi mate - how's your cold?
> 
> Yeah, they always want to do that, it's very annoying. Will see what she's like though.


It's actually getting worse, I'm afraid I have sinusitis now (I've had it before a few years ago) so I think I'll go in to see the doctor tomorrow.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> It's actually getting worse, I'm afraid I have sinusitis now (I've had it before a few years ago) so I think I'll go in to see the doctor tomorrow.


Oh man - that's terrible! Yeah, better go to the doctor - and get some medicine. Then stay in bed. Hope you're feeling better soon anyway mate, I was wondering how you are.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Oh man - that's terrible! Yeah, better go to the doctor - and get some medicine. Then stay in bed. Hope you're feeling better soon anyway mate, I was wondering how you are.


Thanks harrison, that's nice of you, I'll keep you updated.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Thanks harrison, that's nice of you, I'll keep you updated.


Okay mate - take care.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling a bit down. I'm not looking forward to being 27 for some reason.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feeling a bit down. I'm not looking forward to being 27 for some reason.


 27 is a great age (assuming relatively good health). Enjoy it however you can.


----------



## harrison

So bored I could probably chew one of my own arms off.


----------



## hayes

Dread. It's -43C(-45F) outside today and I have an 8am lab. Bring on the frostbite.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> 27 is a great age (assuming relatively good health). Enjoy it however you can.


I will definitely try to enjoy it as much as possible. Hope it's a good one for me.


----------



## unemployment simulator

nauseous


----------



## harrison

Hot and sick of all the smoke. Lucky there's a change coming to blow some of it away. Nice and cool tomorrow with some rain.


----------



## thomasjune

Worried. Family members are getting old and weak and so is my dog who is also a family member and my best friend. Once they're gone I won't have any reason to keep living.
Not sure if I want to die before them (especially my dog cause she needs me) or try to hang on till they're gone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Noca

Cold, hot and itchy.


----------



## kitshiv01

devastated, unloved, horribly alone


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Hot and sick of all the smoke. Lucky there's a change coming to blow some of it away. Nice and cool tomorrow with some rain.


About time you got some rain in Australia, should help extinguish some of the fires and keep the smoke down. Those bush fires sure last a long time. I'm fairly tired but doing okay, I went in to see the doctor and I have sinusitis, I got some antibiotics and hopefully it should clear up within the next 2-3 weeks. I'm hoping I don't catch anything else from now on.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Productive. I went to the gym today and walked the treadmill for over 30 minutes. I'm so glad the gym I signed up for is open 24/7. I didn't even know they were open all the time. Gives me something different to do for a change other than the same four things I do when I'm off work.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> About time you got some rain in Australia, should help extinguish some of the fires and keep the smoke down. Those bush fires sure last a long time. I'm fairly tired but doing okay, I went in to see the doctor and I have sinusitis, I got some antibiotics and hopefully it should clear up within the next 2-3 weeks. I'm hoping I don't catch anything else from now on.


Yes it's nice to have some rain mate - and it's nice and cool today too. It was very hot yesterday - plus I've had to stay here for 2 days because of all the smoke. Will be nice to go into the city today and walk around.

I just can't believe how long these fires have been burning for - it's crazy, because everything is so dry I guess.

Hope the antibiotics work soon mate - and that you're feeling better. Lucky you're not here with all this smoke.


----------



## Noca

Not too bad atm


----------



## CNikki

Slightly anxious and annoyed.


----------



## Dispatch

CNikki said:


> Slightly anxious and annoyed.


hmmmm ... only slightly ? ... @nubly ... your skill is needed ... hurry !


----------



## Crisigv

numb, yet depressed


----------



## Noca

lily said:


> Why cold and then also hot :huh


My hands were cold cause its usually cold in my house and my head was hot cause my hives were acting up. Skin literally feels hot to the touch like I have a fever when its like that.



lily said:


> I'm glad!


Thanks


----------



## RelinquishedHell

A little better lately although that could all collapse. I just wish people didn't define me by my issues and would let me love them.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Yes it's nice to have some rain mate - and it's nice and cool today too. It was very hot yesterday - plus I've had to stay here for 2 days because of all the smoke. Will be nice to go into the city today and walk around.
> 
> I just can't believe how long these fires have been burning for - it's crazy, because everything is so dry I guess.
> 
> Hope the antibiotics work soon mate - and that you're feeling better. Lucky you're not here with all this smoke.


Thanks harrison, are you planning to go up to Bali soon? Would be a nice time to go on vacation. 

I hope the smoke isn't affecting you too much health wise, your right I am lucky in that regard, it would likely trigger my asthma if I was breathing that in all day.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Felt a bit sad when I woke up for some reason. Had some soup and a coffee and now I am doing a bit better.


----------



## Excaliber

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Felt a bit sad when I woke up for some reason. Had some soup and a coffee and now I am doing a bit better.


Sorry to hear codemonkey, hope your doing well otherwise. A nice bowl of soup and a coffee cheer me up too.


----------



## PandaBearx

Melancholy


----------



## truant

Cursed!!!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

truant said:


> Cursed!!!


:squeeze


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm in a decent mood but wish there was a cure for chocolate/sweet cravings. Nothing helps with it or ever will.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Thanks harrison, are you planning to go up to Bali soon? Would be a nice time to go on vacation.
> 
> I hope the smoke isn't affecting you too much health wise, your right I am lucky in that regard, it would likely trigger my asthma if I was breathing that in all day.


I came pretty close to just going to the airport this morning.  But then I got too tired and thought I'd better try to be sensible, it's about time. :roll

I just opened a new bank account that refunds any international bank fees you get at international ATM's etc. That used to really get on my nerves - every time you took out say a hundred bucks they would charge you 8 dollars. Very cheeky - and all those charges add up. But this new one refunds them all - so I'm happy about that.

Yeah, they said some people have had bad reactions to the smoke - like that young girl playing tennis. She collapsed on the court in a coughing fit. I don't think they should have let anyone play the other day - the smog reading was at 441, my son almost had a fit when he saw it - it's supposed to be below 50 I think to be healthy. He said it was worse than Sth Korea or China. Unbelievable.


----------



## harrison

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm in a decent mood but wish there was a cure for chocolate/sweet cravings. Nothing helps with it or ever will.


There's a cure for it but you have to eat a lot of sweet stuff.

I just had about 4 pieces of very nice bread (a healthy one I get) with really great rasberry jam on them. (at least the bread was healthy) :roll


----------



## Crisigv

Down and defeated


----------



## harrison

I have a dull headache from that little episode this morning (and the Valium) but other than that I'm fine.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I hope everyone will feel better


----------



## blue2

Yeah I'm feeling fine.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> you can try to gradually eat less and less sugar or also replace it with natural sweeteners like cinnamon. I found that when I put it in my organic unsweetened soy milk it tastes sweetish. good luck!


I've been cutting out sugar for about a year and a half and I notice nothing helps for it. My mind would still crave it.

That sounds good. I love cinnamon flavored stuff.
@harrison Eating a lot of sugar would defeat the purpose. :lol I wish sugar made me sick so I wouldn't crave it.


----------



## harrison

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I've been cutting out sugar for about a year and a half and I notice nothing helps for it. My mind would still crave it.
> 
> That sounds good. I love cinnamon flavored stuff.
> 
> @harrison Eating a lot of sugar would defeat the purpose. :lol *I wish sugar made me sick so I wouldn't crave it*.


I just give in to it.  I'm currently on my 3rd mug of tea with sugar in it - just to wake up.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious.


----------



## Dispatch

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious.


...here we are anonymous ... no anxiety needed &#128516;


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

harrison said:


> I just give in to it.  I'm currently on my 3rd mug of tea with sugar in it - just to wake up.


Oh wow. :O

I'd give in to it if I wasn't so young. Maybe when I'm old and don't care about my health as much I might. :no

Death by sugar...Just kidding.


----------



## Crisigv

horrible and lonely


----------



## zonebox

As per usual, pretty good, sitting here playing games, listening to music, enjoying life.


----------



## D'avjo

It sure is


----------



## blue2

Like a big melty marshmallow.


----------



## Citrine79

Depressed, miserable, lonely, hopeless. Really struggling to function right now, especially at work.


----------



## Dispatch

Citrine79 said:


> Depressed, miserable, lonely, hopeless. Really struggling to function right now, especially at work.


What seems to be the main problem today ?


----------



## harrison

A bit lonely but not too bad. I had a sort of realisation the other day that I would be okay - I've been so afraid of living on my own for so long now and terrified of the future. But I think I can see a way through now - I'm very lucky I have some options and people that care about me.


----------



## lily

Crisigv said:


> horrible and lonely


:hug :squeeze


----------



## lily

Fun Spirit said:


> I hope everyone will feel better


Aw thank you, it's nice hearing from you every now and then. Hope to see you around again!


----------



## copper

Overwhelmed. Too much crap to do and no help. Have four feet of snow buildup on the front deck, balcony needs shoveling off again, porch roof needs to be raked off. Arthritis is killing me. I am sore all over. I just can't take care of this house anymore with all the stairs and snow removing duties.


----------



## Fun Spirit

@lily You're welcome. And thanks. Yeah I come and go. Maybe I will come around more


----------



## Citrine79

Dispatch said:


> What seems to be the main problem today ?


Bad snowstorm. I hate snow, cold and winter and those things make my already crappy mood even worse. Still snowing today and still feeling unbelievably awful.


----------



## lily

Fun Spirit said:


> @lily You're welcome. And thanks. Yeah I come and go. Maybe I will come around more


----------



## truant

SamanthaStrange said:


> :squeeze


:squeeze


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> I can't wait until I get out of the house and get exercised, etc.


I say go for it.

I've been exercising at the gym with my music and it's fun that way. The place I go to is only ten a month. Before you know it, you're almost done. If you prefer outside walking instead of at the gym I would do that instead.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> A bit lonely but not too bad. I had a sort of realisation the other day that I would be okay - I've been so afraid of living on my own for so long now and terrified of the future. But I think I can see a way through now - I'm very lucky I have some options and people that care about me.


Sorry to hear that you have been feeling lonely harrison, I hope you have enjoyed spending time with your wife and son the last while at least. Did you get to go for a walk in Melbourne with your wife the other day? I'm glad your finding a way through it, I know what its like being scared of the future, but the way is forward, nothing can stay the same forever unfortunately, with options and people who care for you then you can get through this.


----------



## tiacxx

I feel okay in myself right now but feeling really anxious to go to work tomorrow, I really don't want to go in and feel like I'm just praying for the weekend each and every week like I'm in some repetitive cycle


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Sorry to hear that you have been feeling lonely harrison, I hope you have enjoyed spending time with your wife and son the last while at least. Did you get to go for a walk in Melbourne with your wife the other day? I'm glad your finding a way through it, I know what its like being scared of the future, but the way is forward, *nothing can stay the same forever unfortunately*, with options and people who care for you then you can get through this.


Thanks a lot mate - yes, you're right, nothing can stay the same forever. I've always been really bad at change, and it's been such a long time that it's hard to adjust to a new life at this age. In a way I guess it's natural to just try and hold on to what we've had before to help us deal with our fear and uncertainty. That's what I do anyway - but I'm slowly getting stronger I think.

Yeah, we had a walk when we went to that park and the gallery. And I basically spent the weekend up there with her and then saw my son yesterday.

Hope you're feeling better too btw.


----------



## Great Expectations

Like I need to log off this site and get some work done today. Yes, that's what I'll do.


----------



## Noca

spaced out


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@lily Ah, okay. Sounds nice. The scenery can make it more fun.

I like walking the treadmill since I can only walk so fast on my own and I can do fast walking on it. I'm not comfortable yet with running on it mainly cause I dont like running in front of people. I dont kjow if I ever will but maybe one day. Back when I used a treadmill years ago I never thought to use my ipod. So I walked it with no music.


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I like walking the treadmill since I can only walk so fast on my own and I can do fast walking on it. I'm not comfortable yet with running on it mainly cause I dont like running in front of people. I dont kjow if I ever will but maybe one day. Back when I used a treadmill years ago I never thought to use my ipod. So I walked it with no music.


I used to use a ski machine. I listened to speed metal and kept ripping the friction ribbon off of it. :lol


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I_Exist said:


> I used to use a ski machine. I listened to speed metal and kept ripping the friction ribbon off of it. :lol


Sounds like fun times. :haha


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Sounds like fun times. :haha


Music does help a lot. I also find that listening to podcasts helps time go bye. I'm on my feet eight hours a night. Walking over 10,000 steps.

I hope your hair is happily growing.


----------



## Noca

lily said:


> how come?


no idea *shrug*


----------



## blue2




----------



## Citrine79

Uninspired, hopeless and unhappy with numerous things. Winter is so freaking depressing on top of it. Looking at snow (we got plenty of it this weekend) makes me feel down and sad.


----------



## Excaliber

Tired of having to breath through my mouth, plus I've had a pounding headache today. Hoping the next couple day's will see some good improvements.


----------



## harrison

I feel like I've been hit by a truck. Terrible anxiety this morning - won't be able to do anything today.


----------



## aqwsderf

I'm really tired. Physically and mentally. It's my 7th consecutive day of work. Don't get a rest until Sunday. I want to just stay home and sleep in. But I know if I had all that time to relax I'd start to feel alone and sad again. Double edged sword I guess.


----------



## Crisigv

so worthless, I don't know what to do


----------



## Dispatch

Crisigv said:


> so worthless, I don't know what to do


If you're going through hell, keep going.

Winston Churchill


----------



## funnynihilist

Had a weird dream and now I'm awake at a weird hour


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I_Exist said:


> Music does help a lot. I also find that listening to podcasts helps time go bye. I'm on my feet eight hours a night. Walking over 10,000 steps.
> 
> I hope your hair is happily growing.


8 hours is good.

Thanks. 

I was so exhausted last night. Fell asleep during a movie and I usually dont do that. Actually I never do. But today I feel better and not exhausted.


----------



## Fever Dream

Sick with the influenza b. But high on the cough syrups.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hateful.


----------



## blue2

Feline fine.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I spent about 60 dollars at Walmart today and it seems like I didn't buy much groceries. Those prices add up really quick. I dont eat a whole lot in one day though so I guess it makes up for that. It's still kinda disappointing. Smaller stores really are generally cheaper than a bigger chain like Walmart I think.


----------



## CNikki

I've had worse days. Just wish the inadequacy wasn't profound even though I'm (for the most part) immune towards it.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Like a worn out shoe. :lol


----------



## Dispatch

loafer ?


----------



## Fever Dream

Last night I felt pretty good all doped on cough syrup. Today my whole body feels like dead weight.


----------



## Great Expectations

I can't believe I was such a socially awkward mess today. I know I am so much better than this but lately it seems like I can't do anything right. That's okay, this speed bump will only make me stronger. 

I need some advil.


----------



## Crisigv

Not tired, but I need to wake up in 6 hours. So I guess I should at least lie down in the dark.


----------



## lily

Great Expectations said:


> I can't believe I was such a socially awkward mess today. I know I am so much better than this but lately it seems like I can't do anything right. That's okay, this speed bump will only make me stronger.
> 
> I need some advil.


I'm such a mess too, my sleeping schedule. Sorry to hear about your difficulties.


----------



## Rebootplease

Thanks. I will say a prayer for you to feel better.



lily said:


> I feel down and lonely/not socialized enough.  I hope I have a very nice day today.


----------



## funnynihilist

I never feel very good


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Amused.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I feel somewhat accomplished. This was my 6th time going to the gym since last Wednesday. But this was the first time I've seen it this packed. There was like 50 people up there it looked like. Usually it looks like there's around 20 people there. I'm glad that didn't stop me. I was just focused on me.


----------



## CNikki

Worn out. I'd say I cannot wait for Friday to be over and start the weekend, but the cycle repeats and I end up dreading the whole time. Have quite a bit of reevaluating to do...


----------



## SunshineSam218

Sleepy and Exhausted. I could just lay down right now, my brain just want shut off. So I am up and posting on here. 

Plus I missed this Forum.


----------



## Great Expectations

lily said:


> I'm such a mess too, my sleeping schedule. Sorry to hear about your difficulties.


Thanks, I'm doing a little better now.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored. Lonely. Outcast. Zombie.


----------



## 0589471

Frustrated. SO. VERY. FRUSTRATED. We should all be allowed a mental health vacation from ourselves/our lives regularly.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Frustrated. SO. VERY. FRUSTRATED. We should all be allowed a mental health vacation from ourselves/our lives regularly.


Yes! Wouldn't that be nice? Lol.


----------



## 0589471

SamanthaStrange said:


> Yes! Wouldn't that be nice? Lol.


You can pick anywhere you want to go, and nobody is allowed to bother you.  :squeeze


----------



## lily

Great Expectations said:


> Thanks, I'm doing a little better now.


yw!



A Toxic Butterfly said:


> Frustrated. SO. VERY. FRUSTRATED. We should all be allowed a mental health vacation from ourselves/our lives regularly.


Hope you feel better soon!


----------



## harrison

Still pretty manic - not as bad as in the city though or last night. Sometimes it can be pleasant - no anxiety, just feel a bit out of it and very hyper. Want to talk to everyone and everything seems great.

I was sitting out the front of the State Library with my ear-plugs in listening to some music that felt much better than it was supposed to - and enjoying just being around all the Chinese tourists here for New Years.

This new doctor will want me on Lithium. Last night I wanted it myself - but I'm not sure if I want all of this gone.


----------



## Sekiro

I saw my ex today. It's funny how just seeing her can make me feel so awful. I wish it didn't have to end up this way. I was really genuinely happy. Now all I feel is sadness...


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sleepy, about to finish my beer before bed. Had a lovely chat with a fellow SASer who understands me and makes me smile when I talk to her. :wink2:



CNikki said:


> Worn out. I'd say I cannot wait for Friday to be over and start the weekend, but the cycle repeats and I end up dreading the whole time. Have quite a bit of reevaluating to do...


"hugs"


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Sleepy, about to finish my beer before bed. Had a lovely chat with a fellow SASer who understands me and makes me smile when I talk to her. :wink2:
> 
> "hugs"


Thank you. Good to hear that you are well as well.


----------



## D'avjo

why can't it stop, the lies, the abuse and threats, will I be allowed to go ever or eternally punished for absolutely nothing


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Amazing. My imaginary boyfriend just brought me an ice cream.


----------



## blue2

^^You have an Imaginary boyfriend ? That's excellent.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Yes, I do. His name is Ben.


----------



## blue2

And Ben likes ice-cream ? What flavour ?


----------



## Sekiro

lily said:


> :hug sorry to hear that you feel so sad. you don't have to feel sad about someone who cheated on you, hurt you so much. you probably just need a replacement, a good 1.


Replacing her is what I don't want to do. At this stage it's important that I don't attempt to rebound, which is bad for everyone involved.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

blue2 said:


> And Ben likes ice-cream ? What flavour ?


Variations of chocolate.


----------



## blue2

SamanthaStrange said:


> Variations of chocolate.


If you were to guess my favorite flavour of ice-cream ? What would it be ?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

blue2 said:


> If you were to guess my favorite flavour of ice-cream ? What would it be ?


Moose Tracks.

(They might not even have that where you live, actually)


----------



## blue2

SamanthaStrange said:


> Moose Tracks.
> (They might not even have that where you live, actually)


No they don't :lol.... Do you want to know what my favorite ice cream is ?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

blue2 said:


> No they don't :lol.... Do you want to know what my favorite ice cream is ?


Yes, the suspense is killing me!


----------



## blue2

SamanthaStrange said:


> Yes, the suspense is killing me!


OK, it's Mint chocolate chip.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

blue2 said:


> OK, it's Mint chocolate chip.


Okay, here you go.


----------



## Crisigv

Tired. Cuddling with someone would be so nice right now.


----------



## CNikki

^ Sort of seconding that statement but also not... I wouldn't cuddle with just anybody.


----------



## Crisigv

CNikki said:


> ^ Sort of seconding that statement but also not... I wouldn't cuddle with just anybody.


No, not just anybody


----------



## hateliving

I feel like ****


----------



## Sekiro

lily said:


> oh yeah, you're probably saying that you just broke up? Maybe then it's not good to get into a relationship right away but if it was a while enough then in my opinion, replacement isn't bad since it doesn't mean that you don't like your next partner. Aw, I know it must be hard for you to have been hurt more than once in the past. :hug


 Well I wouldn't let judgments of unrelated people affect my perceptions of new people, but a motivation of "I don't want to be lonely" is a very bad one. I would effectively be manipulating someone else into making me feel less bad, probably with someone who I don't actually enjoy being with. I'm certainly not weak enough to let this happen. I think the worst part of it was I enjoyed being around my ex, she and I were very compatible but she threw it all away because she felt lonely when I wasn't around. But so was I. So while she was cuddling up in some other guy's warm arms I was shivering, alone, and cold, dreaming of when I could be back with her. The fact I used this person as motivation disgusts me. But I still wish it could have been different.

But thank you for your caring.



blue2 said:


> OK, it's Mint chocolate chip.


This is also my favorite (for the record Moose Tracks is a solid choice).


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> ^ Sort of seconding that statement but also not... I wouldn't cuddle with just anybody.


Me three.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kinda tired. I worked a 10 hour shift then went to the gym. So I was on the go pretty much my whole day seeing as I had to drive to the gym and back and get ready to go up there. It's taking up a good bit of my time. I was going to cook but didn't feel like it. 

I decided to splurge a little bit and eat some red velvet flavored oreos with milk. Of course. -__-


----------



## Excaliber

I'm feeling fairly good today, my infection has finally been subsiding so I've been able to feel like going to the store and such.


----------



## copper

Sore all over. Stupid low pressure won't leave. Been getting heavy wet snow for three days now. It is like wet cement. Raked off the porch roof. The north side is no problem due to no ground work, but the south side the snow comes down in front of the basement door and deck so I had to break it up with a shovel first, take a snow scoop to move out into the driveway and use the snow blower on it to move it to it's final resting place. Deck needs to be shoveled off but I am wore out. Hopefully my guy is going to get down here to shovel off my addition roof.


----------



## blue2

@copper you can get over the counter supplements without prescription that help with early stage arthritis omega 3 etc : /


----------



## copper

blue2 said:


> @copper you can get over the counter supplements without prescription that help with early stage arthritis omega 3 etc : /


Believe me I have numerous remedies here in the house. I have sour cherry juice, sour cherries, Arnicare gel, Caspacian, hemp oil, plain old aspirin, hemp milk, lidocaine, vitamin D, magnesium.


----------



## funnynihilist

Day dragging


----------



## CNikki

Nostalgic and with that a little bit regretful. Pretty much saw a subject that asked if we were back at least a decade and yet in the current physical state, what things would have been different and changed that would lead to a different reality as we know of now. My list is too long to even comprehend...


----------



## blue2

copper said:


> Believe me I have numerous remedies here in the house. I have sour cherry juice, sour cherries, Arnicare gel, Caspacian, hemp oil, plain old aspirin, hemp milk, lidocaine, vitamin D, magnesium.


My mother has early stage arthritis & takes a product called Seven seas joint care & it works great.


----------



## Sekiro

CNikki said:


> Nostalgic and with that a little bit regretful. Pretty much saw a subject that asked if we were back at least a decade and yet in the current physical state, what things would have been different and changed that would lead to a different reality as we know of now. My list is too long to even comprehend...


That's a good thing. Look how far you've come that you can identify better courses of action than you could in the past. The person that goes, "Nah I think I'd do all the same stuff" is the person who hasn't grown.


----------



## funnynihilist

Had a Big Mac earlier so not great


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm feeling not too bad seeing as I got to see my mother today so cant complain about that. I miss her already. Here's to another 3 or 4 weeks away from getting to see her again. The drive up there and back is always nice.


----------



## firestar

Relieved. Kitty almost went for the cat bed but settled on my legs.


----------



## thomasjune

Heartbroken. RIP Kobe and his 13yo daughter.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## thomasjune

Also, to the rest who died in the horrible accident, RIP.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Citrine79

Lonely and getting more depressed with each passing day.


----------



## harrison

Feeling pretty good. Although it's annoying when you realise how fast time is flying by. I found these two books I'd bought at auction and I thought it was last year, but it was June, 2018.

Just a few appointments to get out of the way and I should be able to go away for a while.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Feeling pretty good. Although it's annoying when you realise how fast time is flying by. I found these two books I'd bought at auction and I thought it was last year, but it was June, 2018.
> 
> Just a few appointments to get out of the way and I should be able to go away for a while.


That's awesome that your feeling good harrison, I hope you get the chance to go away on a nice trip! Yeah time does seem to be flying by, I can't believe that it's almost February.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> That's awesome that your feeling good harrison, I hope you get the chance to go away on a nice trip! Yeah time does seem to be flying by, I can't believe that it's almost February.


Thanks mate - isn't it ridiculous? How's that cold going - all better now?

My wife's got one atm - she has health anxiety and she's worried she's got this new Coronavirus thing from China. I keep telling her I think it's unlikely.


----------



## CNikki

Sekiro said:


> That's a good thing. Look how far you've come that you can identify better courses of action than you could in the past. The person that goes, "Nah I think I'd do all the same stuff" is the person who hasn't grown.


I appreciate the response. But I think it has more or less to do with what I had been able to recollect from those years and what I 'wish' would have happened so that I wouldn't be in this present state - or at least see how much it would alter even if I have/had to inevitably face some things.

Some examples include having anxiety for as long as I could remember which had me avoid 'taking risks', and depression that lingered for half of my life which I did my best to hide, among other hosts of psychological abnormalities. It didn't help that I come from a background who doesn't believe that psychological damage/illness exists, which puts us back likely a few decades as compared to what we now have increased acknowledgement and scientific evidences that extends and validates such issues.

Just a few examples that is what I consider a polished surface from living in a bubble that I would refer to as my insanity.

I know that we cannot change the past and that we can only go with what we have 'now'. I've accepted that for some time now. I don't know; I think it just had me think of the different paths I could've generally taken with my life. Admitting to some of them just had me ruminate for a bit, as it would when I slip from preventing myself from doing so. I doubt that I'm even making sense with this.


----------



## Sekiro

CNikki said:


> I appreciate the response. But I think it has more or less to do with what I had been able to recollect from those years and what I 'wish' would have happened so that I wouldn't be in this present state - or at least see how much it would alter even if I have/had to inevitably face some things.
> 
> Some examples include having anxiety for as long as I could remember which had me avoid 'taking risks', and depression that lingered for half of my life which I did my best to hide, among other hosts of psychological abnormalities. It didn't help that I come from a background who doesn't believe that psychological damage/illness exists, which puts us back likely a few decades as compared to what we now have increased acknowledgement and scientific evidences that extends and validates such issues.
> 
> Just a few examples that is what I consider a polished surface from living in a bubble that I would refer to as my insanity.
> 
> I know that we cannot change the past and that we can only go with what we have 'now'. I've accepted that for some time now. I don't know; I think it just had me think of the different paths I could've generally taken with my life. Admitting to some of them just had me ruminate for a bit, as it would when I slip from preventing myself from doing so. I doubt that I'm even making sense with this.


You and me both, but for what you can't change you can only change your perception about it.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - isn't it ridiculous? How's that cold going - all better now?
> 
> My wife's got one atm - she has health anxiety and she's worried she's got this new Coronavirus thing from China. I keep telling her I think it's unlikely.


My sinus infection isn't completely gone yet but its vastly improved since I had gone in to see the doctor. I'm glad I ended up deciding to go, I think by next week it should be mostly cleared up. Thanks for asking. 

I hope that her cold passes quickly! It's unlikely she has that Coronavirus unless she had been up to China or in contact with someone who had been to that province where it started. Have they had any confirmed cases in Melbourne? They just found the first two cases in Ontario here in Toronto.


----------



## blue2

z 
Z
Z
@[email protected]


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> My sinus infection isn't completely gone yet but its vastly improved since I had gone in to see the doctor. I'm glad I ended up deciding to go, I think by next week it should be mostly cleared up. Thanks for asking.
> 
> I hope that her cold passes quickly! It's unlikely she has that Coronavirus unless she had been up to China or in contact with someone who had been to that province where it started. Have they had any confirmed cases in Melbourne? They just found the first two cases in Ontario here in Toronto.


Glad to hear you're getting better, yeah we have one confirmed case here in Melbourne and another 4 I think up in Sydney.

She tends to worry a lot about these things - my son just came back from China a couple of weeks ago but he wasn't in that area. She'll be okay in a few days.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cold. Bored. Lonely.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

blue2 said:


> z
> Z
> Z
> @[email protected]


m
M
M

-_-


----------



## harrison

I feel good. But a little bit apprehensive about yet another shrink tomorrow. How many of these people do we have to try before we find one with a bit of decency, let alone common sense.

More than four hundred dollars tomorrow just to find out if she's worth going to again.


----------



## Dispatch

What are your expectations ?


----------



## Sekiro

Supremely confident and energetic... a lot more than usual.


----------



## Dispatch

Sekiro said:


> Supremely confident and energetic... a lot more than usual.


I love your post ! ... you know how we can fixate on all the negative thoughts ? ... what would happen if we were to fixate on those confident feelings ? ... somehow maintain that confidence throughout the day ?


----------



## Doraemun

Lonely. Sad. Scared. Anxious. I'm crying right now


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Talking in real life is meaningless. Most people I've encountered so far either get in a bad mood with me or act like they dont have time to get a chance to know me and people make me so paranoid and uncomfortable that I just go back in my shell. 

Also annoyed with my manager since he acted like he wanted to get in an argument for me simply asking him something. I dont have time for rude people in my life. If you want to get mad at someone at the very least don't do it to someone who isn't trying starting an argument. FFS.


----------



## Graeme1988

Depressed n’ pissed off. Ah feel like am stuck in a rut, and have been since 2017. 
Ah just dinnae huv the motivation to change the way things are.


----------



## funnynihilist

Does the sun still exist? Everyday is the same dreary gray.


----------



## Sekiro

Dispatch said:


> Sekiro said:
> 
> 
> 
> Supremely confident and energetic... a lot more than usual.
> 
> 
> 
> I love your post ! ... you know how we can fixate on all the negative thoughts ? ... what would happen if we were to fixate on those confident feelings ? ... somehow maintain that confidence throughout the day ?
Click to expand...

Idk man I've been getting up earlier though...


----------



## aqwsderf

I feel terrible


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

Spiritually immaculate. Impervious even.

Physically? Well.. that leaves a hell of a lot to be decided.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Relieved that I don't have to go back to my ophthalmologist again. Yay. Good thing I dont have to wear glasses, either.


----------



## harrison

I'm not sure - this medication feels strange.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

my back/neck seems to be hurting less though I now have a bit of a sore throat.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I also feel like that Otep song where she's screaming about hating her life (Buried Alive,) only with much less energy.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good. Full from my birthday dinner. About to stream a video game on Discord soon.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Persephone The Dread said:


> my back/neck seems to be hurting less though I now have a bit of a sore throat.


 What made it hurt?


----------



## Persephone The Dread

WillYouStopDave said:


> What made it hurt?


No idea, never happened before. May be as simple as sitting in a weird position a few days ago or moving stuff around in my room. I'm very unfit so.


----------



## harrison

Very strange feeling in my head - it frightens me taking antispychotics. It's hard to decide whether to try and manage on my own like before or go with what these doctors say. I've always hated medication.


----------



## PandaBearx

Sleepy :yawn


----------



## Great Expectations

Feeling ready to get out there, meet new people and having some fun.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kind of annoyed that I lost my appointment card. I know it's some time in February but it's bothering me I can't find it. I dont remember the exact day. Guess I'll call in the morning about it. 

I need a room that's bigger than like 20 feet wide cause this room is way too small. It's literally like only three or four people wide. No wonder my drawers end up getting piled all the way to the top and I lose stuff. This is a problem. I spent like two hours cleaning out my drawers and getting rid of stuff I didnt need. Having a small room never works. I bump into stuff too and end up stubbing my toe or unintentionally scratching myself or something. So there's two problems with having a small room. It doesnt help the fact that I leave snacks and stuff in my room cause I dont want to wait until a guest leaves or the woman that lives here to leave the kitchen so I can go into the kitchen to bring my food to my room. So my snacks get put into my drawers. She hasnt been mean to me for months but I'm not going to take my chances bringing food or drinks to my room. I leave a whole 24 case of water in here too so it takes up space on the floor. 

And my closet is small. But the point of having a closet is to put stuff in it so yea. I miss having a bigger room before I lived here but there is almost nothing I miss about living back home except my mother.


----------



## NocaLove

Kind of depressed

Sent from my SM-A205U using Tapatalk


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I thought it wouldnt be too bad with my store manager having to take over for my boss for awhile. But nope. He's just as grouchy as her. I worded something in a weird way then he gets mad and says "what" in a mean way to me and it made me upset and humiliated me cause there were two coworkers around me. I cant wait for the day when I work from home if I'm able to do that cause I dont like working with the public.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

Sad and depressed.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad and wanting the end


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A huge wave of crushing loneliness just washed over me earlier this evening for some reason. I felt better during the day today. Not good.


----------



## Crisigv

Hello depression, my friend. Have you come to ruin my evening once again?


----------



## funnynihilist

Crisigv said:


> Hello depression, my friend. Have you come to ruin my evening once again?


Simon and Garfunkel?


----------



## Crisigv

funnynihilist said:


> Simon and Garfunkel?


Heh, I knew it seemed familiar to me.


----------



## PandaBearx

A little sick, don't feel to great.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I get treated like **** at work everyday now. People need to get off my goddamn back and leave me alone.


----------



## funnynihilist

It's hard to wake up and face this crummy life


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> It's hard to wake up and face this crummy life


Same. :squeeze


----------



## CNikki

Been blessed with a weekend of being bed bound and feeling achy all over, even to the point I feel I could pass out when trying to do simple tasks such as getting up at some points.


So I'd say I feel fantastic...


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Pretty good. I'm gonna be buying a 4wd vehicle today which is really going to help me get out into nature more. I'm excited about it


----------



## leaf in the wind

Contemptuous - wishing for my mother's death. She can go back to hell from whence she came.


----------



## Citrine79

funnynihilist said:


> It's hard to wake up and face this crummy life


I feel your pain. I am finding it harder and harder to function on a daily basis, especially at work. I have never been more hopeless about my situation than I am now.


----------



## Excaliber

I'm feeling fairly good today actually, I may join in with board games tonight.


----------



## nexile90

Bloody awful. Life is cruel.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Worried. :/ My eye is red again but it doesnt hurt. I hope I dont have to go back to the doctor and I hope that special ointment helps. I knew it would be too soon to have my doctor's appointment. If I had it tomorrow then it would've been better than having it 4 days ago. *sigh*


----------



## leaf in the wind

Mildly nauseous from this cheap bourbon. Back to the expensive stuff.


----------



## Crisigv

very lonely and invisible, how can I be happy like this


----------



## funnynihilist

This world seems to get more fickle everyday


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm kind of mad. Someone told me I have an eye infection and that the doctors keeps treating it just enough for it to go away then come back again so I have to go to another doctor. Why couldn't I have been told this in the first place? I could go blind in my right eye if left untreated ffs.


----------



## Graeme1988

I wish I could just end it.... Ah really do. Just off masel’ n’ be done with it.

Does’nae really seem fair to have to put up with folk who huv treated ya like $h!%£ for past 2 decades just cuz they’re family. But hey, I’m used to it.


----------



## SunshineSam218

Right now, I feel really relaxed and calm. : )


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

****in hell, man. I'm over winter. Make with the sunshine already. So I'm feeling the effects of seasonal depression and just trying to stay afloat. I wake up and look out the window and it's gray. Still gray. Always gray. So it's an exercise in willpower to get out of bed and get through another day.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Like I don't matter at all.


----------



## Replicante

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm kind of mad. Someone told me I have an eye infection and that the doctors keeps treating it just enough for it to go away then come back again so I have to go to another doctor. Why couldn't I have been told this in the first place? I could go blind in my right eye if left untreated ffs.


Damn, that sucks. I'm in kind of a similar situation, I got a clogged ear beacuse of a sinus crisis. I got it treated by the otoloryngologist and was ok, but then I got another sinus crisis 2 weeks later and now I got a clogged ear again. That's annoying. I hope you get better.


----------



## mezzoforte

Self-reflective, insatiable.


----------



## harrison

Bit zonked out - this medication hits you pretty hard. And the dose will just go up when I see her again next week.

Not sure if I want to be like this - sort of flattened out.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Like I don't matter at all.


"hugs" I am sorry that you are feeling this way, Shelby.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Replicante said:


> Damn, that sucks. I'm in kind of a similar situation, I got a clogged ear beacuse of a sinus crisis. I got it treated by the otoloryngologist and was ok, but then I got another sinus crisis 2 weeks later and now I got a clogged ear again. That's annoying. I hope you get better.


Wow, 2 weeks later is worse than a month later. Hope they actually do something for you. I had a clogged ear once but it was from an ear infection a few years ago.

Yea, I know it's not pink eye cause pink eye doesnt keep coming back over and over. It's frustrating when people at work keep assuming I have pink eye. Thanks. I hope so too. :/
@iAmCodeMonkey Thanks. *hugs*


----------



## Musicfan

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Like I don't matter at all.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Musicfan said:


>


This gave me a chuckle. :squeeze Thank you.


----------



## Crisigv

In a very bad state


----------



## donistired

Weary. Is the week over yet?


----------



## PandaBearx

Concerned


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Bit zonked out - this medication hits you pretty hard. And the dose will just go up when I see her again next week.
> 
> Not sure if I want to be like this - sort of flattened out.


That doesn't sound like fun, how are you liking your new doctor so far though? I hope your doing well otherwise.


----------



## Graeme1988

Let's see... ah hate ma life. Ah hate muh family - _business as per f&#8230;kin' usual!_ 

_Ah mean, it's great gettin' intae a pointless *"Whit did ye git that fur?"* argument with an older sibling over a f&#8230;kin' 2 way plug socket extension.









I got it for the broadband router and so my mother wouldn't have to unplug that if she wants to use the hoover. And she still did'nae believe me! Hud tae repeat masel' like 3 times afore she shut tha f&#8230;k up!_ :bash :mum

_Urgh! See folk nowadays - C%*~$! Most of them anyway....

Cuz it cannae be that ah bought that cuz ah saw n' said, "Ooh, that'll be handy!" Naw, does'nae work like that, does it?!

I've never been mair glad to have social anxiety and be single in ma life. Honestly, I'd much rather talk tae naebuddy than have interact with some egotistical, overly aggressive, loudmouth who feels the next question everything. Heck, ah'll settle talkin' tae masel' at this point.

Ah think I'll just give up at this point; why bother doing anything if yer just going to have end having to answer for it and justify it?_
It's bad enough having to deal with social anxiety, it's hellish having to deal with a dysfunctional family on top o' that.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored. Tired of everything.


----------



## Sekiro

SamanthaStrange said:


> Bored. Tired of everything.


Me too. Let's go nap.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sekiro said:


> Me too. Let's go nap.


----------



## Sekiro

SamanthaStrange said:


>


This is my cat at night. She's turned into quite the snuggle bug.


----------



## lily

SamanthaStrange said:


>


Aww so cute!


----------



## lily

SunshineSam218 said:


> Right now, I feel really relaxed and calm. : )


that's nice 



PurplePeopleEater said:


> Like I don't matter at all.


you're important!


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> That doesn't sound like fun, how are you liking your new doctor so far though? I hope your doing well otherwise.


Thanks for that mate- hope you're doing okay too. Yeah, she seems quite nice - I've only seen her once so far, will see her again next Monday I think it is.

The problem with seeing a psychiatrist is your basically agreeing to go on whatever medication they advise you to - and this last one is pretty hard to handle. (makes you very tired etc) It's like my wife was saying - you have to weigh up whether it's worth it or not. Or whether you think you can handle the mental illness without it.

I really hate medication in general tbh - I always seem to hate the way it makes me feel. Although I have periods when I know I should be on something - it's a pain in the neck.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Miserable


----------



## Graeme1988

Absolutely f__kin' devastated... seems my family don't really care about or like me after all. 

Well, it's nice to have that feeling of not belong - something I've felt since I was 8 years old - finally validated. Guess I wasn't wrong for all the years when I get I was for telling it how it is from my perspective. All those years getting laughed at for asking why I'm the yin who has to put up with the constant f&#8230;kin' arguments, why it's always me who has to listen to everyone complain but when ah do it: _"Huh! Whit huv you got to be depressed aboot?! Your life's grand" Is it? The disability, no self esteem? They just irrelevant, eh?

D'ye think ah f&#8230;kin' like being confined to the one room in the house (my bedroom)? But that's more of a choice than a necessity these days. D'ye think ah like dreading asking a simple question, cuz ah fear that the response I'm going to get is going to unjustified hostile overreaction? Or what about being burdened with, or blamed for everyone else's problems?_


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit better than last night now.


----------



## harrison

Feeling okay. A lot better now I stopped that medication. Not sure how this new psychiatrist will feel about that but it's not exactly up to her. We'll see.


----------



## blue2

Like the cats meow.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@lily I'd like to at least be somewhat important and thanks.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired of winter. :bah


----------



## WillYouStopDave

SamanthaStrange said:


> Tired of winter. :bah


 I'm so tired of winter I'm even tired of it in the summer. I'm so tired of winter I hate the summer for reminding me winter will be back.


----------



## blue2

Giving winter storms next 2 days, wind, rain, I don't have anywhere in particular to be I think I'll get some sedation going on & hibernate...probably should exercise.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Accomplished. Got my taxes done. Woot woot. :yay


----------



## Persephone The Dread

SamanthaStrange said:


>


That cat is adorable.


----------



## blue2

Intrigued.


----------



## Sekiro

SamanthaStrange said:


> Tired of winter. :bah


Time for more blankets :3


----------



## blue2

I really hate coffee liqueur, then why did I drink the whole bottle ? Because it was going to waste otherwise, is why : /


----------



## blue2

It's weird how I don't die, like many healthier living people do die, why is that ?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

blue2 said:


> It's weird how I don't die, like many healthier living people do die, why is that ?


I have this thought every day of my life. Seriously.


----------



## lily

blue2 said:


> It's weird how I don't die, like many healthier living people do die, why is that ?





SamanthaStrange said:


> I have this thought every day of my life. Seriously.


:hug


----------



## blue2

lily said:


>


:squeeze


----------



## zonebox

Where I live, we had some gale force winds yesterday which lead to a large tree falling in our back yard. This would normally be bad news, but I think of it as free firewood :lol I'm going to call the insurance company tomorrow, it should be covered as per our policy, which I think is about $500 to remove a tree. I have a chainsaw to do most of the work, the branches I'll burn up and I will lug the main portion of the tree off to the dump for free. So, I more or less have made $500 out of the deal, which I will use to purchase a chain link fence for the back yard. Well, that depends if there is a deductible, which I will find out tomorrow.. if not, then I'll just chop it up and throw it in the forest (more like small jungle) past my back yard from whence it came.

This is the second of trees to have collapsed in our yard, the first took out my pool, and wooden steps that lead up to it. I got I think $1500 for that, which was nice. There is one more big tree, that looks like it could take out my tin shed, which I am waiting to come down next hurricane season. All of these trees our off my property, so there is little I can do about them. After this last tree standing though, I should be out of harms way :lol I wonder how much I can get from a destroyed shed?


My neighbor had one fall in his yard a couple of months ago, and another neighbor had a big one land on his property a few months ago. These trees are huge, I tell you! Most of them have been infested with termites, and are falling like no one's business. I feel bad for the people that live behind me, they have three large trees to look out for, which might actually hit their house.



Regardless of all of that, I'm feeling pretty good right now. Even if there is no money to be gained, I get to use my chainsaw


----------



## blue2

^^Yeah I cut up a massive tree last year that fell across the road near our house, what make is your chainsaw ? I have a husqvarna.


----------



## zonebox

blue2 said:


> ^^Yeah I cut up a massive tree last year that fell across the road near our house, what make is your chainsaw ? I have a husqvarna.


It is a really cheap chainsaw I purchased from Aldi, it is a really small one and electric, but hell if it doesn't feel good to chop away dead branches :lol It is a Gardenline electric chainsaw - it should be enough to take care of this tree I hope.







vroom vroom!!
​I'm going to get medieval on that tree I tell ya! It will be worthless when the zombie apocalypse comes though.​


----------



## PandaBearx

Melancholy, I also seldom-as in never- mention having anxiety IRL (though it's for sure noticed by others at times) I've never straight out admitted to struggling with it or owned it. But I made mention of it, very briefly in a paper I wrote, which at the time I was like 'Well it's a crucial part of why I'm as strong as I am today and where I'm at' and I say strong a bit loosely, but that's the gist of it & I didn't go into detail....but in retrospect I'm like holy shiz I can't believe I put that in my essay and handed it in. It was a blip in it, but I'm going to panic for the next week now.


----------



## harrison

Fairly relaxed, thank God. And a little bit light-headed. I've been watching a few videos by a guy that does travel videos - he was in Bali a couple of weeks ago, staying up near where I've been many times. 

Just hearing the Balinese music they play there reminds of that place and it's quite comforting. Would be a lovely place to spend more time as I get older - nothing to worry about up there really at all.


----------



## funnynihilist

Meh, my usual


----------



## blue2

harrison said:


> I've been watching a few videos by a guy that does travel videos - he was in Bali a couple of weeks ago, staying up near where I've been many times.


I bet he doesn't show these videos.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling like an after thought, or a last resort.


----------



## Replicante

I'm fine at last


----------



## harrison

I think I'm still processing all this crap. Some serious sales today.


----------



## hairycoconut

Feel sick to my stomach. Don't know whether to attend a job interview or not that might involve role play.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel alright for the moment.


----------



## Theys1978

I`m feeling really good! Thanks guys!


----------



## Graeme1988

Worthless and useless. Like am a jinx. Nothing seems to go right in my life.


----------



## Replicante

lily said:


> I feel so alone and unfulfilled. I'm trying to do changes in my life though. I just feel like I want to go outside now. I hope today goes ok/well. Sunday's are usually nice. I just have to wait until later


☺


----------



## Persephone The Dread

So much pain (physical.) I probably deserve this lol.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Sick of not having enough money to distract myself constantly until death. All I want is sleep and constant distraction while I'm awake lol.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I guess just a bit regretful cause I was thinking about my artwork I did in HS. I'm horrible at drawing and I had a strict art teacher who pretty much forced me to draw good. My favorite one was a picture I drew of a bunch of shoes on a floor. It looked pretty good but it's a shame cause I can't show it to anyone. I threw all my artwork from 12th grade away. Dammit. I want it back. :/ I'm still not sure why I threw it away. I think I was depressed and didn't care. I probably won't ever draw that good again.


----------



## harrison

I feel fine. But a bit concerned because this new psychiatrist is about to start me on Lithium. She even called this afternoon. I don't think I've ever had a psychiatrist call me before - except Brendan when he needed to apologise. 

The thing that concerns me is that I often don't believe I'm bad enough to be on medication all the time. Even though the last time I saw her I got so manic afterwards I could hardly hold it together in the chemists. And then there's the rage. I really wish I could just be like everyone else out there.


----------



## Graeme1988

I'm starting to become more convinced in my belief that I wasn't meant for this world. No boy or man should have put up with the kinda crap I have to for the last 22 years. Ah should've just died and birth and got scary part over and done with.

I'm getting sick of being treated like crap one minute, then then next minute they're aw sayin' sorry n' talking to me like I'm an actual person. :bash _Eh, naw... sorry it does'nae work like that. You treat me like $h!% and I am well within ma right tae tell you tae f__k off._. 

They aw moan at me about how fed up and unfair their lives are, but they spare a thought for what it's like for me. Aside from telling me that they _"know how difficult it must be for me at times" Ha! Aye, right..._


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Ugh, I feel like I'm starting to get a sore throat. I have to go to the doctor Wednesday for something else and I hope I dont lose my voice. I have to explain everything going on with my eye. I really hope I dont lose my voice that day. Hopefully I dont lose it at all. -__-


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Ugh, I feel like I'm starting to get a sore throat. I have to go to the doctor Wednesday for something else and I hope I don't lose my voice. I have to explain everything going on with my eye. I really hope I don't lose my voice that day. Hopefully I don't lose it at all. -__-


I hope your sore throat gets better soon!


----------



## Persephone The Dread

headache


----------



## Sekiro

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Ugh, I feel like I'm starting to get a sore throat. I have to go to the doctor Wednesday for something else and I hope I dont lose my voice. I have to explain everything going on with my eye. I really hope I dont lose my voice that day. Hopefully I dont lose it at all. -__-


The eye saga continues.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I hope your sore throat gets better soon!


Thank you Monkey. :smile2: I hope I'm not running a fever too cause I've been shivering recently. Usually when I'm cold I dont shiver all day. :S
@Sekiro lol Yea, unfortunately.


----------



## andy1984

so bored


----------



## blue2

Persephone The Dread said:


> So much pain (physical.) I probably deserve this lol.


Let me guess.... You tried to fly a kite in a thunderstorm.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

blue2 said:


> Let me guess.... You tried to fly a kite in a thunderstorm.


Nah Yahweh is just mad about Lilith/Satan, Adam and Eve having a threesome still.

"Because you have done this, you are cursed more than all animals, domestic and wild. You will crawl on your belly, groveling in the dust as long as you live. And I will cause hostility between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring. He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel."

"I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you."

"Since you listened to your wife and ate from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat, the ground is cursed because of you. All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it. It will grow thorns and thistles for you, though you will eat of its grains. By the sweat of your brow will you have food to eat until you return to the ground from which you were made. For you were made from the dust, and to dust you will return"

Guess he's also pissed about this:



> In the Australian Aboriginal myths of the Rainbow Snake, and its associations with menstruation, water, the moon and women, there is widespread acknowledgement that this 'cosmic serpent' (often androgynous) originally gave women power.





> Female menstruation is sacred to many indigenous Australian cultures because it distinguishes the time when a female is capable of bringing life into the world, putting a woman on the same level of creative abilities as the Rainbow Serpent.[11] It is for this reason that men will attempt to mimic this holy process by cutting their arms and/or penises and letting their blood run over their own bodies, each other's bodies, and even into a woman's uterus.[11] Men will sometimes mix their blood with a women's menstrual blood, letting them flow together in a ceremonial unification of the sexes.[11]


https://www.pinknews.co.uk/images/2018/06/snake3.jpg

"God damn goddesses, and rainbows and lesbians and snakes. Why can't the Humans stop with the archetypes and let me be a Triple goddess ;_;"

Have to kind of feel sorry for him I suppose. Well you know, if Islam wasn't the fastest growing religion maybe.


----------



## Chevy396

Persephone The Dread said:


> blue2 said:
> 
> 
> 
> Let me guess.... You tried to fly a kite in a thunderstorm.
> 
> 
> 
> Nah Yahweh is just mad about Lilith/Satan, Adam and Eve having a threesome still.
> 
> "Because you have done this, you are cursed more than all animals, domestic and wild. You will crawl on your belly, groveling in the dust as long as you live. And I will cause hostility between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring. He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel."
> 
> "I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you."
> 
> "Since you listened to your wife and ate from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat, the ground is cursed because of you. All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it. It will grow thorns and thistles for you, though you will eat of its grains. By the sweat of your brow will you have food to eat until you return to the ground from which you were made. For you were made from the dust, and to dust you will return"
> 
> Guess he's also pissed about this:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> In the Australian Aboriginal myths of the Rainbow Snake, and its associations with menstruation, water, the moon and women, there is widespread acknowledgement that this 'cosmic serpent' (often androgynous) originally gave women power.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Female menstruation is sacred to many indigenous Australian cultures because it distinguishes the time when a female is capable of bringing life into the world, putting a woman on the same level of creative abilities as the Rainbow Serpent.[11] It is for this reason that men will attempt to mimic this holy process by cutting their arms and/or penises and letting their blood run over their own bodies, each other's bodies, and even into a woman's uterus.[11] Men will sometimes mix their blood with a women's menstrual blood, letting them flow together in a ceremonial unification of the sexes.[11]
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> https://www.pinknews.co.uk/images/2018/06/snake3.jpg
> 
> "God damn goddesses, and rainbows and lesbians and snakes. Why can't the Humans stop with the archetypes and let me be a Triple goddess ;_;"
> 
> Have to kind of feel sorry for him I suppose. Well you know, if Islam wasn't the fastest growing religion maybe.
Click to expand...

Don't ever feel sorry for that prick. He's just a sociopath who uses it to make you feel guilty for the pain he's causing you.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and hopeless


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good for a change


----------



## Graeme1988

Sad. Hopeless. Conflicted. Unhappy. Miserable. Tense. Broken. _Ah could go on... _

I absolutely despise the person that I've become. I don't even know what I want outta life anymore, other than wanting it to just hurry up and end. But then again, I never have, because I've always feel like ah don't really deserve to happy. Guess that's what being obligated to make yer dysfunctional family happy most o' yer life will do to ya?  The one thing that brings me any joy is now the one thing that ah cannae seem to find the time or energy for - playing the guitar. Music seems to be my only solace - always was. Have really got anything else in my life.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> :hug
> 
> I feel bad too. I feel very alone, having no friends irl. Luckily I have family but that's not enough. I want comfort





lily said:


> it hurts when you don't have friends irl or if you can't be social to whom you'd like to be social with.  I feel down


Yeah, I can very much relate there. Well, except for having family. Aye, they're there but I don't think really feel they like me that much. But hey, I've accepted that, and moved on.


----------



## Graeme1988

I wish I could get out of this rut I’m in. Ah hate how my life has just stopped.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Ugh, couldnt get good sleep cause I woke up and had some slight nausea. I dont know what it is but everytime I get the slightest bit of nausea I get this weird feeling that comes up in my chest. It isnt painful but more like it makes me feel like I have to puke when they come up through my chest. It feels similar to a burp but they dont come up through my throat. I dont know how to put it into words on Google. Guess I'll just stay awake. I supuldvevtsken some Nyquil last night. I hope I can call in sick.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Ugh, couldnt get good sleep cause I woke up and had some slight nausea. I dont know what it is but everytime I get the slightest bit of nausea I get this weird feeling that comes up in my chest. It isnt painful but more like it makes me feel like I have to puke when they come up through my chest. It feels similar to a burp but they dont come up through my throat. I dont know how to put it into words on Google. Guess I'll just stay awake. I supuldvevtsken some Nyquil last night. I hope I can call in sick.


 Sounds like acid indigestion. Try Pepcid.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> Sounds like acid indigestion. Try Pepcid.


Yea, I had some acid reflux pills I bought but they just disappeared out of nowhere like a month ago and I still cant find them. Guess I'll have to buy some more. I feel better right now though. I think it was just when I was laying down. I dont get a burning sensation when they come up in my chest but more like it just makes me feel more nauseous. I dont think the pills really helped though so I'll buy Peptobismol.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Yea, I had some acid reflux pills I bought but they just disappeared out of nowhere like a month ago and I still cant find them. Guess I'll have to buy some more. I feel better right now though. I think it was just when I was laying down. I dont get a burning sensation when they come up in my chest but more like it just makes me feel more nauseous. I dont think the pills really helped though so I'll buy Peptobismol.


 Yeah. Acid reflux doesn't always have heartburn. Sometimes it's just nausea and a general feeling of being unwell. The Pepcid tablets are kinda tricky because you have to take them before you need them. I guess people who are prone to acid reflux are supposed to take them like a prescription or something.

Alka Seltzer works faster but has a lot of sodium. Tums doesn't work for me so I take Alka Seltzer when I need it. But yeah. The feeling of nausea doesn't seem like it would be related to acid reflux but I found by trial and error (at least in my case) it often is.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> Sounds like acid indigestion. Try Pepcid.


I called my manager. I feel like if I call in sick too much I'll get fired cause they do like to take advantage of good workers.  Ever since I got this damn manager position I've been getting sick more and usually I dont get sick. I feel like I have bad luck.

I guess I'll just stick with the Peptobismol. I dont like a lot of sodium in my diet. :S I do get burning sensations sometimes though but for some reason it usually doesnt happen when I'm sick.


----------



## Chevy396

PurplePeopleEater said:


> WillYouStopDave said:
> 
> 
> 
> Sounds like acid indigestion. Try Pepcid.
> 
> 
> 
> I called my manager. I feel like if I call in sick too much I'll get fired cause they do like to take advantage of good workers.  Ever since I got this damn manager position I've been getting sick more and usually I dont get sick. I feel like I have bad luck.
> 
> I guess I'll just stick with the Peptobismol. I dont like a lot of sodium in my diet. :S I do get burning sensations sometimes though but for some reason it usually doesnt happen when I'm sick.
Click to expand...

I don't know if you drink dairy, but some sort of milk or ice cream usually helps for my stomach too, like if I drink coffee on an empty stomach.


----------



## CharlieLizzie16

exhasted!


----------



## CharlieLizzie16

exhausted!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Chevy396 said:


> I don't know if you drink dairy, but some sort of milk or ice cream usually helps for my stomach too, like if I drink coffee on an empty stomach.


I drank coffee earlier. I think I feel better though.  I ended up going into work for awhile then leaving cause I didnt feel good. I was told to take Theraflu. I was shivering at work yesterday and I have a sore throat too. I'm not sure if I'm coming down with a flu but I feel better for now anyways. The Theraflu helped.


----------



## Chevy396

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Chevy396 said:
> 
> 
> 
> I don't know if you drink dairy, but some sort of milk or ice cream usually helps for my stomach too, like if I drink coffee on an empty stomach.
> 
> 
> 
> I drank coffee earlier. I think I feel better though.  I ended up going into work for awhile then leaving cause I didnt feel good. I was told to take Theraflu. I was shivering at work yesterday and I have a sore throat too. I'm not sure if I'm coming down with a flu but I feel better for now anyways. The Theraflu helped.
Click to expand...

Glad to hear you found some relief. Hope you can sleep it off or something. The body heals itself most during sleep.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Stomach ache, cramps, moody, depressed, short tempered, bored, and lonely. I've got it all! Some of it is PMS, and some of it is just me. :blank


----------



## Persephone The Dread

suddenly really tired for some reason.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Chevy396 said:


> Glad to hear you found some relief. Hope you can sleep it off or something. The body heals itself most during sleep.


I ended up falling asleep for like an hour and woke up. Had a hard time getting to sleep cause of the caffeine though. I usually fall asleep like a baby.


----------



## Sekiro

SamanthaStrange said:


> Stomach ache, cramps, moody, depressed, short tempered, bored, and lonely. I've got it all! Some of it is PMS, and some of it is just me. :blank


 I like just you though.



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I ended up falling asleep for like an hour and woke up. Had a hard time getting to sleep cause of the caffeine though. I usually fall asleep like a baby.


Sleeping is also my superpower. I'm like a lightswitch.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@Sekiro That's a good thing. Sleepsies is important. :yes


----------



## donistired

Every day keeps running together. I'm tired, agitated, and want a way out of all this.


----------



## Citrine79

Stressing out over several things at the moment. Plus, I get extra miserable around Valentine’s Day every year so I am not in a good place right now. Had a migraine today and I think it was probably because of the stress.


----------



## blue2




----------



## Graeme1988

Quite depressed... just lost an external hard drive that had 2 years worth of music ideas that I'd been working on, as well as 12 years worth of family photos.


----------



## Alleviate Suffering

Got more public abuse from strangers the other day. I was walking to work and as some guys drove past me they wound down their windows and shouted "you must be a virgin and "weirdo" and various other bits of abuse that I didn't hear properly. I get this sort of thing all the time and it really grinds me down. I don't claim to be an oil painting but it would be nice to be able to go about my daily life without a constant fear of verbal abuse. Is that too much to ask?


----------



## harrison

I feel great. Not the sort of I feel great but I might also have to rip your face off at some point - but just calm and good. Thank God for Lithium, that's all I can say.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> I feel great. Not the sort of I feel great but I might also have to rip your face off at some point - but just calm and good. Thank God for Lithium, that's all I can say.


It's good to hear your relaxed at least, How are those fires coming along? I heard you guys got lots of rain down under?


----------



## blue2

I would probably feel better if I had lithium seems like good stuff : /


----------



## Crisigv

Flipping cold! The air hurts my face. I'm happy my car started.


----------



## hateliving

depressed


----------



## aqwsderf

Hurt


----------



## CNikki

Having a bit of insomnia and just wanting it to be the weekend already (three day weekend due to Presidents' Day.) A mix of emotions due to some good things that have been offered, but at the same time knowing that it won't last for long because there are some things (maybe people) I know I need answers from, and I don't have that much time. I don't know how to approach the situation. Also some fears involving yet even more change and hoping that it will not cost to the expense of having yet another close person becoming distant. It's a bit complicated, and though I'm happy for her, I don't want to lose her in that process. Should probably discuss about that.


----------



## Crisigv

Suicidal. I need help


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Having a bit of insomnia and just wanting it to be the weekend already (three day weekend due to Presidents' Day.) A mix of emotions due to some good things that have been offered, but at the same time knowing that it won't last for long because there are some things (maybe people) I know I need answers from, and I don't have that much time. I don't know how to approach the situation. Also some fears involving yet even more change and hoping that it will not cost to the expense of having yet another close person becoming distant. It's a bit complicated, and though I'm happy for her, I don't want to lose her in that process. Should probably discuss about that.


"hugs"


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Comedic.


----------



## hateliving

terrible


----------



## funnynihilist

Cold


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

My heart is warm today.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So tired of buying medicine to help with being sick. Nothing ever helps so why bother? I'm not buying anymore. Too expensive. Theraflu didnt help. Mucinex didnt help. I believe nothing helps when you're already sick. Only thing that's ever helped with anything in general for me is Ibuprofen for a headache and Nyquil to help me sleep. Nyquil never helped when I was sick but to help me sleep, yea. Seems like once you're sick you just have to deal with it until it's ready to go away. Sleeping doesnt help. Eating doesnt help. Drinking plenty of water only helps for dehydration. Not to get rid of a sickness. Lol 

It's a lot less stressful if I just let it go away on its own. If any of it did help I wouldnt have such a horrible sounding cough the day after taking the medicine to the point where I choke from coughing too hard. I'm not going to spend hundreds of dollars of my money for nothing.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> So tired of buying medicine to help with being sick. Nothing ever helps so why bother? I'm not buying anymore. Too expensive. Theraflu didnt help. Mucinex didnt help. I believe nothing helps when you're already sick. Only thing that's ever helped with anything in general for me is Ibuprofen for a headache and Nyquil to help me sleep. Nyquil never helped when I was sick but to help me sleep, yea. Seems like once you're sick you just have to deal with it until it's ready to go away. Sleeping doesnt help. Eating doesnt help. Drinking plenty of water only helps for dehydration. Not to get rid of a sickness. Lol
> 
> It's a lot less stressful if I just let it go away on its own. If any of it did help I wouldnt have such a horrible sounding cough the day after taking the medicine to the point where I choke from coughing too hard. I'm not going to spend hundreds of dollars of my money for nothing.


 The problem with a persistent cough that hangs around is you can actually hurt yourself by coughing too much. I had a really bad cough one time in 2007 that was just constant and I pulled or tore something in the right side of my chest (felt like something kinda deep in there) and it was literally the worst pain I've ever felt. Felt like I had a knife stuck in me. And it was constant fetal position pain for days. And the cough kept going even then. And the pain when I coughed was even worse than the constant pain already was. I actually didn't think I was going to live through that.

That's the only time I can remember I've been really sick but it was hardcore. :lol


----------



## Chevy396

Frustrated. My landlords have gone completely insane and won't stop mentally abusing me (mental abuse legally consisting of moving things around and trying to passive aggressively make you seem paranoid or try to give you negative subliminal messages by placing objects in your path.).

They are too careful at it for me to prove it legally, so my only choice is to move out into some other apartment and only buy food and nothing else for a while.

I don't mind, it would be a relief to get away from their hate, but I do not feel physically or monitarily capable of making that transition yet, and I only have a few more days left to get it all done. Maybe I'll get lucky and find the strength in time.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> The problem with a persistent cough that hangs around is you can actually hurt yourself by coughing too much. I had a really bad cough one time in 2007 that was just constant and I pulled or tore something in the right side of my chest (felt like something kinda deep in there) and it was literally the worst pain I've ever felt. Felt like I had a knife stuck in me. And it was constant fetal position pain for days. And the cough kept going even then. And the pain when I coughed was even worse than the constant pain already was. I actually didn't think I was going to live through that.
> 
> That's the only time I can remember I've been really sick but it was hardcore. :lol


Well, nevermind. I guess the Mucinex did help cause my cough is just now getting better. So I should be able to go to work tomorrow. I was kind of looking forward to one more day away from work but I need to go back. :lol

That sounds horrifying...


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Well, nevermind. I guess the Mucinex did help cause my cough is just now getting better. So I should be able to go to work tomorrow. I was kind of looking forward to one more day away from work but I need to go back. :lol


 That's good.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Good


Glad to know that you're happy.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Glad to know that you're happy.


Thank you, Nikki.  I hope you are doing okay too.


----------



## aqwsderf

I feel like I have no one


----------



## Fun Spirit

aqwsderf said:


> I feel like I have no one


There is always someone.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Everything is annoying me today. MOODY!


----------



## Crisigv

Embarrassed of myself


----------



## Fun Spirit

Tired and hurt. Why can't they just say those words? There is nothing to fear. It would save us the hurt.As long as there is understanding everything will be well.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> It's good to hear your relaxed at least, How are those fires coming along? I heard you guys got lots of rain down under?


Hi mate - yeah we had a lot of rain in some areas - I think most of the fires are out now thank God.

I spoke too soon about the Lithium as well unfortunately - I've been sick for the last day and a half. Made me feel good at first but then I couldn't lie down without wanting to vomit. Terrible. Such a shame - I thought it was something good for a while.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Hi mate - yeah we had a lot of rain in some areas - I think most of the fires are out now thank God.
> 
> I spoke too soon about the Lithium as well unfortunately - I've been sick for the last day and a half. Made me feel good at first but then I couldn't lie down without wanting to vomit. Terrible. Such a shame - I thought it was something good for a while.


That's good that it rained, and that most of the fires would be out. 

Yikes that doesn't sound great, I hope that you feel better over the next couple days!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Broken


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Canadian Brotha said:


> Broken


 Chin up my friend.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> That's good that it rained, and that most of the fires would be out.
> 
> Yikes that doesn't sound great, I hope that you feel better over the next couple days!


Thanks - slowly getting back to normal now. It's incredible what some of these medications do to your body. I hate taking anything tbh - I'm sick of it.


----------



## aqwsderf

I'm concerned that my past relationship is leaving me messed up in the head. I keep noticing my trust issues. Recently while talking to someone, I've noticed that I have trouble believing what is true and what is not. If they tell me they're going out with friends...I question it. Even if I have no reason to. Say I just met someone. Why would I question it? Someone actually sent me a picture to prove they went out where they had said they'd go to. I didn't ask for that proof lol, it made me feel weird. I'm going to be that crazy girl


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> :hug wow, sorry to hear that.


Thanks. I've got a bag of DVDs I made over the last few years to go through. So hopefully, I backed up some of my files at point over the last 3 years? :stu



lily said:


> Right now I'm awake bc I drank green tea and it has caffeine in it or else it's because I slept too much earlier. I have outing and church to go to though so it's not looking good. I can't screw it up though. I'm bored.


Hopefully everything goes well, lily. 



lily said:


> I don't like this forum for the most part now bcoz I feel people ignore me or are probably judging me. I'm only here bc I'm bored and for the people who don't ignore me.


Sorry yer feelin' that way, lily.  I've never judged or ignored you, just so ya know.


----------



## Blue Dino

This buzz is kicking in after almost 3hrs. Awfully late.


----------



## Kevin001

Stuffy


----------



## TinyFlutter

lily said:


> I don't like this forum for the most part now bcoz I feel people ignore me or are probably judging me. I'm only here bc I'm bored and for the people who don't ignore me.


I'm sorry you feel that way, I haven't been active on the forum in general, but I just wanted to say I have always thought your posts are very insightful, positive and encouraging .


----------



## Ominous Indeed

Bad


----------



## PandaBearx

Sleep deprived.


----------



## Ominous Indeed




----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Why do girls have to be so damn snobby towards me? This is why I dont like girls. They suck. I'm so tired of it. Do they not have anything better to be mad about? They wouldn't act like this towards their pets so why act like this towards me? It's so unfair. I'll be lonely forever.


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Why do girls have to be so damn snobby towards me? This is why I dont like girls. They suck. I'm so tired of it. Do they not have anything better to be mad about? They wouldn't act like this towards their pets so why act like this towards me? It's so unfair. I'll be lonely forever.


I don't know. But maybe they have low self esteem. By putting you down, maybe it makes them feel better? I prefer you over them.


----------



## CNikki

Still upset, to put it mildly. I still don't know what to say and how to approach with what's been bothering me the most.


----------



## Crisigv

worthless and unwanted


----------



## The Linux Guy

Uncertain about the future. :afr


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Uncomfortable.


----------



## andy1984

lily said:


> I don't like this forum for the most part now bcoz I feel people ignore me or are probably judging me. I'm only here bc I'm bored and for the people who don't ignore me.


it's not a great place sometimes. but some of the people are pretty good ✌


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Thanks. I've got a bag of DVDs I made over the last few years to go through. So hopefully, I backed up some of my files at point over the last 3 years? :stu
> 
> Hopefully everything goes well, lily.
> 
> Sorry yer feelin' that way, lily.  I've never judged or ignored you, just so ya know.


Thank you 



TinyFlutter said:


> I'm sorry you feel that way, I haven't been active on the forum in general, but I just wanted to say I have always thought your posts are very insightful, positive and encouraging .


wow, thank you so much!



andy1984 said:


> it's not a great place sometimes. but some of the people are pretty good ✌


I like your peace sign at the end .


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I_Exist said:


> I don't know. But maybe they have low self esteem. By putting you down, maybe it makes them feel better? I prefer you over them.


I feel like it's my age. If I was a 50 year old they wouldnt be getting an attitude with me, which is a shame. They know they'll get in trouble so they figure they can get away with being mean to me. Feels like age discrimination. After she got a bad attitude with me she instantly started hugging the store manager and gave her a kiss on the shoulder like she was so glad to see her. It's almost as if she was doing it to show me she can get mad at me then be sweet to someone because they're like 30 years older than me. Thanks.  
@lily I think you're a cool person and like seeing your posts on here.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Annoyed. Let down. Insignificant.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@lily You're welcome.

Yea, I suppose so. Some days are easier to deal with than others. I wont let it get to me. It's good to vent.


----------



## Sekiro

I'm pretty tired I don't know why I do this to myself.



SamanthaStrange said:


> Annoyed. Let down. Insignificant.


D:


----------



## Musicfan

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I feel like it's my age. If I was a 50 year old they wouldnt be getting an attitude with me, which is a shame. They know they'll get in trouble so they figure they can get away with being mean to me. Feels like age discrimination. After she got a bad attitude with me she instantly started hugging the store manager and gave her a kiss on the shoulder like she was so glad to see her. It's almost as if she was doing it to show me she can get mad at me then be sweet to someone because they're like 30 years older than me. Thanks.


That's really two faced if this woman is mean to you and then nice to the store manager. It does sound from what you said that shes trying to make you feel bad. Ageism is a real problem people have to deal with in workplaces, so since you are young she must feel like she needs to be on top since you're her boss and she must not like that.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Musicfan said:


> That's really two faced if this woman is mean to you and then nice to the store manager. It does sound from what you said that shes trying to make you feel bad. Ageism is a real problem people have to deal with in workplaces, so since you are young she must feel like she needs to be on top since you're her boss and she must not like that.


It's frustrating to say the least. :/ I'm sure the attitude will continue but I'll just have to try to ignore it.


----------



## lily

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @lily You're welcome.
> 
> Yea, I suppose so. Some days are easier to deal with than others. I wont let it get to me. It's good to vent.


That's a good attitude!


----------



## Crisigv

quite defeated


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good for a change, after feeling a bit down this morning. The weather certainly didn't help.


----------



## discopotato

Pretty good, for once


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

discopotato said:


> Pretty good, for once


 That's great to hear!


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Nauseated. Don't understand why tea does that to me sometimes and not others.


----------



## AV1988

I am feeling very anxious. I was sick yesterday and that made things worse. Still kinda sick today so it's triggering anxiety


----------



## aqwsderf

Feeling like no one wants to talk to me 😂


----------



## AV1988

aqwsderf said:


> Feeling like no one wants to talk to me &#128514;


Whatcha wanna talk about?


----------



## aqwsderf

AV1988 said:


> Whatcha wanna talk about?


It was more in general. Can't seem to hold a conversation


----------



## AV1988

aqwsderf said:


> It was more in general. Can't seem to hold a conversation


Some people think they can't but are doing just fine.


----------



## Sekiro

So here I am cold as eff. I'm kinda pumped though. It's runnin n gunnin time and I'm all outta runnin.


----------



## discopotato

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> That's great to hear!


aww thank you!


----------



## Crisigv

Forgotten and heartbroken


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pretty lonely tonight. 😞


----------



## Great Expectations

aqwsderf said:


> It was more in general. Can't seem to hold a conversation


I feel this is true for me with the people that I do want to hold a conversation with or appear interesting to. Sometimes I feel like my life is kind of boring and I don't have anything interesting to talk about. It makes me feel really disconnected....I've been experiencing this a lot during lunch at work where random people will just start talking to me. I always seems to drone on about the same things.

Maybe we expect too much from ourselves? I've been avoiding some people at work just to prevent this and I think I've made them feel bad.

I just hate how it feels.


----------



## mezzoforte

Insane.




(...in the membrane?)


----------



## aqwsderf

@Great Expectations

Yes I relate to all of this. Even when I'm not, I try to make myself look busy during the lunch hour to avoid having to talk. It's a bad habit. Especially with group conversations, I never know when to jump in and don't feel like I'll have anything constructive to add anyway &#128578;

But I'm also feeling this with people I want to talk to. Maybe I'll initiate the conversation but it'll die out within a few messages (if it's via text).


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel like this can't be real life. When will I wake up from this nightmare?


----------



## pied vert

i will colden and dusten my heart.
**** jigsaw puzzles. i can only spend the money and never profit.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm not feeling bad. Checked my bank account and I had more saved up than I thought. I'm going to keep it that way for as long as I can.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I am feeling extremely sad and exhausted tonight.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Like I want to die and nobody cares.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Restless


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and strange after a few dreams.


----------



## Crisigv

Dread for another day


----------



## nekomaru

Like a crappy coward because I cancelled my optometrist appointment. I need to grow a spine...


----------



## Fun Spirit

Tired of waiting. I don't deserve this.


----------



## PandaBearx

Kinda depressed? I don't feel sad, I just feel sort of void this morning or this heaviness.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hopeless.


----------



## Karsten

Like I need a scratching post and something to sink my teeth into.


----------



## wmu'14

I don't mind losing - in fact, winning too much is boring - but I hate sore winners.


----------



## thomasjune

Mentally and physically tired.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Sekiro

I'm so worn down I posted in the wrong thread. Efffffffffffff...

It ends tomorrow finally.

Also conflicted emotionally. Please just take me by the hand and tell me I'm going to be yours.


----------



## a

Tired but with a sense of satisfaction - i modded both my C64 mini and RG350 (TV and handheld emulation consoles respectively, the latter was a hardware mod) today. And getting some C# coding done too, in a freshly installed Visual Studio 2019 Enterprise Edition on my home desktop.

But, also pensive as it's pay rise time this coming work week...


----------



## harrison

Horrendous anxiety this morning - and no idea what I'm anxious about. I don't have to go to work or do anything if I don't want to, and I had a great weekend with my family.

Maybe from doing a bit much lately with selling my books etc - I feel like I've been hit by a truck.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Proud of myself for things that have happened in my life recently.


----------



## TopShelfHeart

Grandpa passed away a few days ago.
I feel numb.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

TopShelfHeart said:


> Grandpa passed away a few days ago.
> I feel numb.


I am sorry


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> I hope you recover your files and everything goes well with you too


 @lilyHere's hoping... I could do with something going right for me, lately.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I saw one of my coworkers at Walmart today. Dont know why I'm all of a sudden seeing my coworkers when I go out places. 

She saw me but ignored me and kept walking. I feel so lonely because of my autism. I get ignored everywhere.


----------



## Graeme1988

So, I'm a waste of space... apparently. _But hey ho, that's been the refrain from my older sister since I was 8 years old. Not that hearing *that* most of my life has factored into how I perceive myself, or how other perceive me_


----------



## Sekiro

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I saw one of my coworkers at Walmart today. Dont know why I'm all of a sudden seeing my coworkers when I go out places.
> 
> She saw me but ignored me and kept walking. I feel so lonely because of my autism. I get ignored everywhere.


I do this too because I am a cat. However sometimes I am friendly.


----------



## aqwsderf

Did you want your coworker to say hi and approach you?


----------



## Replicante

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I saw one of my coworkers at Walmart today. Dont know why I'm all of a sudden seeing my coworkers when I go out places.
> 
> She saw me but ignored me and kept walking. I feel so lonely because of my autism. I get ignored everywhere.


:rub


----------



## PandaBearx

Like the emotional support sponge that has absorbed too much feels.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I'm SO happy. I just happen to click on something because I saw another person's name but then I end up noticing something else. It was meant for me to click on it. My heart feel so happy. 


I just wish it came to my attention awhile ago. Even several weeks ago. It would make things a lot easier.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sekiro said:


> I do this too because I am a cat. However sometimes I am friendly.


Lol You friendly cat. :3 
@Replicante :squeeze
@aqwsderf Maybe not a full blown conversation but at least a hey it's good to see you I guess. She seemed like one of the nicer coworkers but idk. If she was fake I'd rather her not say anything to me.


----------



## aqwsderf

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @aqwsderf Maybe not a full blown conversation but at least a hey it's good to see you I guess. She seemed like one of the nicer coworkers but idk. If she was fake I'd rather her not say anything to me.


I guess if she very obviously saw you, it would be rude to not even say hi. I just feel like I personally would try to avoid the interaction. No hard feelings to anyone lol. (I need to work on this)


----------



## andy1984

i don't feel like going out


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad. No one cares I exist. No one looks for me, cares if I'm okay. The only time I'm needed is when something happens at work.


----------



## Euripides

A relatively muuuuch, much tamer feel for me this time, but nevertheless:

A girl from a few years ago came back into my life recently, and we've really been hitting it off, and I actually - by god - like her.
We text all night and day, hard teasing each other, very interested in each other's things. But tonight she off-handedly mentioned she has a date next week.
I didn't expect it, it doesn't really compute, but, okay. It just sucks a lot. Thought there was something. We very definitely do not behave like just friends.

But she's the type to have lots of dates, regardless. Just thought I was 'an interest' too.

Not sure I can be the same with her now after this, don't really want to think about or hear about this guy or possibly the others after him.

But, for tonight, I'll just drink a little drink, take a little pill and ponder things while "heartbreak hotel" plays.
This ain't nothing compared to anything else I've ever posted about on this site.

But still. Turning a new leaf - nope. Not yet, it appears.

Sad.


----------



## riverbird

Feeling rather numb.


----------



## NocaLove

I feel weird. Took some Modafinil. 

Sent from my SM-A205U using Tapatalk


----------



## SamanthaStrange

A bunch of mixed emotions.


----------



## CNikki

Exhausted. Feeling like if I put up with any more than what's really been going on, I'll get into a breakdown. Cannot go there.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tipsy AF.


----------



## SparklingWater

Happy


----------



## lily

I feel so nice bc the sun is giving me a warm feeling.


----------



## AV1988

Kinda happy kinda nervous. My new puppy has me feeling happy but paying to take him to "puppy class" (per my wife's idea) is annoying. We aren't rich by any means so paying for unnecessary things makes me nervous. I've had a bunch of dogs and never had to take them to a class...

Oh well. Guess I have to roll with it


----------



## nekomaru

AV1988 said:


> Kinda happy kinda nervous. My new puppy has me feeling happy but paying to take him to "puppy class" (per my wife's idea) is annoying. We aren't rich by any means so paying for unnecessary things makes me nervous. I've had a bunch of dogs and never had to take them to a class...
> 
> Oh well. Guess I have to roll with it


What breed is your puppy :smile2:


----------



## AV1988

nekomaru said:


> What breed is your puppy :smile2:


He's a golden doodle- 8 months.


----------



## nekomaru

AV1988 said:


> He's a golden doodle- 8 months.


I'd only heard of labradoodles before, so I googled them - there seems to be every kind of -oodle-dog imaginable nowadays :laugh:. Seems the -oodle genes come out stronger every time.


----------



## AV1988

nekomaru said:


> I'd only heard of labradoodles before, so I googled them - there seems to be every kind of -oodle-dog imaginable nowadays :laugh:. Seems the -oodle genes come out stronger every time.


He's a cute pup. He's very strong and big though. My wife has trouble walking him because he pulls a lot. Hence the puppy class.

Dogs are great though for making me feel better. When I'm at work with anxiety and finally get home I hug my puppy


----------



## Musicfan

lily said:


> I feel so nice bc the sun is giving me a warm feeling.


Reminds me of this song:


----------



## Replicante

lily said:


> I feel so nice bc the sun is giving me a warm feeling.


Good to hear, lily. &#128578;


----------



## lily

Replicante said:


> Good to hear, lily. &#128578;


thanks  @Musicfan thank you for sharing


----------



## Sekiro

Everything in my life has never been going better.


But I don't feel happy. I feel apathetic. What's the point to ****ing life if I just end up always trusting the people that end up betraying me.


----------



## donistired

I'm feeling very sick of life, devoid of worth. Keep waking up in the morning and my first thought is that I want things to end. I don't see anything good about myself or feel like I have any meaningful place in anyone's life.


----------



## The Condition of Keegan

I'm not sure honestly.


----------



## Sekiro

My cat is snuggling me so a bit better than before...


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sekiro said:


> My cat is snuggling me so a bit better than before...


----------



## Crisigv

Hopeless and worthless. I'm right where I started.


----------



## peachcandy

i just vented out on my notes app about feeling really stressed 24/7 even to the point where iâ€™ll get nightmares and stress dreams because iâ€™m worrying about everything literally all the time. i feel useless and like i have nothing to live for but things will get better eventually


----------



## unemployment simulator

bit bored.

I took 3 weeks off work to do a course, when I got to the course I was told that it wouldn't give me the qualifications I actually needed. the company that referred me got it wrong. so I am basically now not doing the course and looking for another one, very unlikely I am gonna find anything else to use up the time. so I guess I am utilising this time to work on some music and art then? I actually want to study, in the mood for that.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Exhausted and reluctant


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

peachcandy said:


> i just vented out on my notes app about feeling really stressed 24/7 even to the point where iâ€™ll get nightmares and stress dreams because iâ€™m worrying about everything literally all the time. i feel useless and like i have nothing to live for but things will get better eventually


I used to worry a lot and haven't worried as much in like 3 years. I'm not sure what to say other than it takes time to get over that stuff. I just started occupying my mind with other things that keep me busy. Getting over depression helped with the worrying for me I think but everyone is different. What works for me might not work for you.

The mind can be confusing and complicated. I always look forward to going home and doing hobbies so I know I'm not depressed anymore. It helps somewhat.


----------



## Sekiro

I am so freaking worn out and tired. I ended up pulling like 60 something hours of work this week and not to mention all the other stress I put myself under...


----------



## Crisigv

Extremely depressed


----------



## Eternal Solitude

Sad and disappointed. Hoping for a simple miracle... (I'm not hoping to win the lottery or to somehow die and be reborn into a better life) this simple wish could make a world of difference to me. I know that things will not be perfect, but obtaining this simple thing will help me get back on my feet and I will be able to start anew . With a much better outlook in life 0


----------



## zonebox

The sweet sweet alcohol, slowly is being metabolized and making its way to that point so familiar, and friendly. My head slowly numbs, and the worries of the week dissipate. My wife is actually having a drink with me, I think this is the first time in twenty years as she has never liked drinking. 



The past month has been one filled with a tinge of anxiety, waiting for a tragic event to occur, partially hoping it would just be over with already. I am observing how people are behaving, wondering how things might change or if they will change at all. I'm being careful with the words I say, to everyone, I always try to do so, but especially now. Is it better, to let people dream the dream, or to panic them out of the dream regardless if it will help or not? 



For the moment, I'm enjoying what I have. I've enough rum along with cola to last the night, a companion to converse with, and a dork of a dog looking up at me.


----------



## blue2

I'm nursing a mellow buzz.


----------



## Citrine79

Can’t sleep...anxious and worried right now.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Citrine79 said:


> Can't sleep...anxious and worried right now.


 If it is the virus thing, try not to worry so much for now. It doesn't appear to be as bad as it was first feared to be. Most people who get it recover. And besides, the time to worry is not now. Save your energy and don't stress yourself until you have to.


----------



## firestar

WillYouStopDave said:


> If it is the virus thing, try not to worry so much for now. It doesn't appear to be as bad as it was first feared to be. Most people who get it recover. And besides, the time to worry is not now. Save your energy and don't stress yourself until you have to.


I'm worried about it, too. It's scary not knowing what's going to happen. Are they going to shut things down to try to contain it? For how long?

I know it's kind of ridiculous, but on the other hand, there are people racing to the stores to buy water and stockpile groceries. They're probably overreacting, but I still wonder if maybe they know something I don't.


----------



## harrison

Much better now I'm home and had some Valium. A terrible day - so angry in the post office I could have happily strangled someone. Better when I got to my wife - she always understands.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

firestar said:


> I'm worried about it, too. It's scary not knowing what's going to happen. Are they going to shut things down to try to contain it? For how long?
> 
> I know it's kind of ridiculous, but on the other hand, there are people racing to the stores to buy water and stockpile groceries. They're probably overreacting, but I still wonder if maybe they know something I don't.


 From looking at the live map from the link I posted in the other thread about it, it appears that the situation is not nearly as bad as it was earlier this month. I think a lot of people are clearing shelves in stores because there are some people who are fear mongering and posting things that either are blatantly false or things that have not been verified.

But it never hurts to be ready so some people probably just don't want to take chances. It can be scary to think about but in the end, whatever is going to happen, worrying about it before it happens is probably just bad for your general health.


----------



## firestar

WillYouStopDave said:


> From looking at the live map from the link I posted in the other thread about it, it appears that the situation is not nearly as bad as it was earlier this month. I think a lot of people are clearing shelves in stores because there are some people who are fear mongering and posting things that either are blatantly false or things that have not been verified.
> 
> But it never hurts to be ready so some people probably just don't want to take chances. It can be scary to think about but in the end, whatever is going to happen, worrying about it before it happens is probably just bad for your general health.


Yeah, but if it's going to hit the coasts and places near international airports first then I'm right in the line of fire. It hasn't come this way yet, but once it does, it's going to be bad. I'm trying not to worry, but it's hard not to think about it when it's on the front page of the newspaper every day and it's all people are talking about.


----------



## funnynihilist

Sleep problems.


----------



## Sekiro

A lot better than before. Today is a big rest day for me so almost somewhat relaxed.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bored. Anxious. Alien.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm feeling okay at the moment, which is extremely rare. So I am just sitting back and enjoying it.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good for a change. Chatting with someone I care about and playing a video game I love helps too.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Beyond bored with life. I don't fit into this world.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Very cranky. Tax season and I owe a lot of money to the government... I had put money aside in anticipation of this, but it still stings to part with it.


----------



## shyguy07

Today I felt pretty good. February was a bad month with my grandfather's fast decline and me having the flu and then him passing away this week. We had the funeral Friday and it was kind of nice seeing people I hadn't seen in years but also a bit anxious since I don't know many of them. Then yesterday I went to a meetup that was an hour and a half away. I wanted to go even though I was sad from this week and a bit stressed with all the interaction. It went okay though and I got home and fell asleep early last night and slept late today. So today I decided to just relax and stay at home and recharge from being around so many people the last few days.

I'm feeling more positive now though, hopefully the worst is over.


----------



## Crisigv

A bit lonely. It hurts to see families out together on a Sunday while knowing that I'll never have that.


----------



## aqwsderf

I'm really enjoying my trip and I love it here. 

Yet I can't stop feeling sad. I wish he was here with me. I wish I could just stop feeling this.


----------



## Outkasted95

Sad for absolutely no reason


----------



## Crisigv

I wasn't really anticipating having my heart ripped from my chest tonight. But hey, life's full of surprises.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Pretty good about the car I'm working on. Everything is actually going as planned and it almost looks like I know what I'm doing. My love muffin comes back from cali tomorrow too 🙂


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Fat, sluggish, ill, old


----------



## Crisigv

In shock


----------



## nekomaru

Crisigv said:


> In shock


Oh no, what happened? :O


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Relieved.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sick with stuffy nose, sore throat, & slight fever


----------



## Sekiro

I sprained my ankle and I can feel it swelling. It's like a baseball on my ankle lol


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Sekiro said:


> I sprained my ankle and I can feel it swelling. It's like a baseball on my ankle lol


 If there is a benefit to being lazy, it's that I don't think I've had one sprained ankle in my adult years. :lol


----------



## nekomaru

Sekiro said:


> I sprained my ankle and I can feel it swelling. It's like a baseball on my ankle lol


Oh, dear :O

RICE - Rest Ice Compression Elevate! Get well, soon ฅ^•ω•^ฅ


----------



## Sekiro

WillYouStopDave said:


> If there is a benefit to being lazy, it's that I don't think I've had one sprained ankle in my adult years. :lol


The doctor was like, "that's what you get for doing the right thing", handed me some ibuprofen and a cold compress. Roger that.


----------



## Sekiro

nekomaru said:


> oh, dear
> 
> rice - rest ice compression elevate! Get well, soon ฅ^•ω•^ฅ


(≧∀≦ゞ


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Blah.


----------



## andy1984

I feel ok. work is slow. I need to fix my headphone port on my phone. there must be **** in there because it keeps popping out. I'm hungry. I need to do my shopping. bread, soy milk, cereal, hummus, chickpeas, chilli beans, corn chips, rice, soup mix.


----------



## harrison

Like this Valium is holding the madness at bay for the time being.


----------



## Replicante

Sleepy


----------



## Outkasted95

Painnn need a lot of dental work doing. I think I probably have gum disease so I need to get it sorted if possible.


----------



## Suchness

Hopeful, motivated, determined.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Replicante said:


> Sleepy


Go to sleepy bye.


----------



## Citrine79

Frustrated beyond words and worried about a lot right now. Sick of gloomy
weather and missing sunshine and warm breezes.


----------



## Replicante

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Go to sleepy bye.


I slept like a baby :yawn


----------



## discopotato

Worried.


----------



## Crisigv

Horrible


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Replicante said:


> I slept like a baby :yawn


I bet that felt nice.  I fall asleep like a baby. I guess cause I work 40 hours a week then do stuff after work sometimes.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Still sick, got a bit of a cough to go along with fever & runny/stuffy nose


----------



## Replicante

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I bet that felt nice.  I fall asleep like a baby. I guess cause I work 40 hours a week then do stuff after work sometimes.


Very nice &#128578;. I just worked overtime and got tired. I know, it's really tiring.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Replicante said:


> Very nice &#128578;. I just worked overtime and got tired. I know, it's really tiring.


Overtime is nice every once in awhile. &#129303; I worked like 4 hours overtime last week.


----------



## hayes

nervous. Hopefully I pass my statistics midterm tomorrow.


----------



## aqwsderf

I don't wanna go back home


----------



## harrison

aqwsderf said:


> I don't wanna go back home


Sounds like your having a good time there - that's great. Are you staying in a hotel or an airbnb?


----------



## aqwsderf

harrison said:


> Sounds like your having a good time there - that's great. Are you staying in a hotel or an airbnb?


A premier inn, it's actually very nice.


----------



## Crisigv

Left behind, always in the shadows


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Still sick as a dog bit not dead yet, also like a social outcast/alien


----------



## D'avjo

to an office receptionist today - 



"sorry im late, were you worried about me, how about I make it up to you on fri night, my shout"


"Yeah ok"


Thats all SFC01 needs to do - sweeeeeet!


----------



## Everlily

Sad.


----------



## Sekiro

Like crap I guess so like any other day muahahaha.


YOU CANT BRING ME DOWN IF IM ALREADY THERE


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sekiro said:


> Like crap I guess so like any other day muahahaha.
> 
> YOU CANT BRING ME DOWN IF IM ALREADY THERE


Yeah. :serious:


----------



## blue2

Going insane, had to happen sooner or later.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

See you there!


----------



## kesker

oh cool, I was on my way there too. We'll do lunch.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm okies.


----------



## Replicante

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Overtime is nice every once in awhile. &#129303; I worked like 4 hours overtime last week.


Yeah, specially the money. I worked like 2 hours the night before yesterday. You work hard ☺



PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm okies.


&#128521;


----------



## Crisigv

I'm in hell


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pretty damn good.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Still sick


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Replicante said:


> Yeah, specially the money. I worked like 2 hours the night before yesterday. You work hard ☺
> 
> &#128521;


:yes You work hard, too.


----------



## nekomaru

Apprehensive. Expecting panic at the workplace in weeks to come. Don't wanna go to this meeting...


----------



## AV1988

nekomaru said:


> Apprehensive. Expecting panic at the workplace in weeks to come. Don't wanna go to this meeting...


I had a panic attack at work. Had to pretend to take a call to leave the room to try and get myself together. Gotta love it... lol


----------



## kicsibob

Scared, really


----------



## unemployment simulator

kind of pissed off, arrogant,intimidating narcissistic neighbours are pissing me off again.


----------



## Kaneda

Miserable and weepy, I had some bad memories drag themselves back up.


----------



## CWe

Like a dark cloud above me that doesn't want to go away


----------



## Sekiro

nekomaru said:


> Apprehensive. Expecting panic at the workplace in weeks to come. Don't wanna go to this meeting...


https://projects.wsj.com/buzzwords2014/#p=14||35|14|||1

I hope to one day use this tool to only ever say things it feeds me.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Annoyed. What else is new? :bah


----------



## Sekiro

SamanthaStrange said:


> Annoyed. What else is new? :bah


oke


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sekiro said:


> oke


:mum


----------



## blue2

opcorn


----------



## zonebox

Feeling tired, but good  I wish I had something more impressive to write though, I mean, "Tired but good" is kind of bland. I would like to spruce that up a bit, give it some spice, and fling that sucker to this board. It needs some bedazzle!










There, that is a little better. A little bit of bedazzle always works wonders.


----------



## Crisigv

My soul has been crushed. I don't want to wake up in the morning.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

So bored. SO BORED. With this forum, with people, with life. Hopefully it'll all be over soon.


----------



## funnynihilist

SamanthaStrange said:


> So bored. SO BORED. With this forum, with people, with life. Hopefully it'll all be over soon.


You just need to hustle for money bruh, and stay poositive, then you can be #blessed


----------



## Sekiro

My ankle is being a ***** but other than that I'm swell.


I'm more than swell. I'm... Dapper.


----------



## CNikki

Just spending my Friday night on an emotional roller coaster ride. But don't worry. My route of coping with all of this is going to be taken and put into effect soon enough.

(Not a 'dark' message. I promise...)


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I shouldn't has gone out at busy traffic times. What I thinking? 😒 At least I has fun.


----------



## darkcyberpunk

I am really liking how my body looks in the mirror now that I have near perfect posture. It's been a long painful road to get there, but I feel very relieved to no longer be a hunchback.

The bodybuilding that I did several years ago looks much better when I can stand up straight and push my chest out naturally.

Never sitting back down at a desk again no matter how much money it's worth. Standing desk or some sort of augmented reality is the only way I will write code again.

Relief of not being in as much pain, and self-attraction are about the only things I've been able to feel for a while. Maybe anger, but I've been restricting that feeling for legal reasons.

I guess those are very superficial feelings to have, but it keeps me safe being superficial instead of letting myself get hurt or hurt someone else emotionally.

In short, I'm probably feeling numb or void. I was kind of like this when I was younger. Maybe everything in-between was just a sort of fake, sociopathic layer of "feelings".


----------



## zonebox

Was feeling a little depressed after a phone call from my little brother, but I am okay now. I've got my cup of cola and rum, and looking for a good movie to watch, I'm thinking perhaps Inception - although I might go with a series instead Castlevania looks pretty interesting. Although, if there are new episodes of the good place, I'll for for that. I really want to see Picard though, I don't have CBS all access so I was only able to see the first one.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Sickly Sad, Lonely, Confused, Depressed, Looking Forward To Death to End My Pain.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely and vulnerable


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Still sick, still exhausted


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good for a change.


----------



## The Linux Guy

If I could just stop crying long enough maybe I could go to sleep.


----------



## Sekiro

So normally I'd go pass out for a few more hours but my ankle hurts so I'm draining it the runner way. This MF gonna be numb when I'm done with it


----------



## funnynihilist

Not good


----------



## discopotato

Pissed off. I just want to take my cats and leave civilization behind to live in a remote cabin or something.. because yikes I can't stand people.


----------



## Sekiro

This parser is garbage.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious. A sense of impending doom.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Worried. I finally got my State ID so I can look for work. Due to circumstances and writing the wrong apartment number on my ID I wasn't able to get it for a about a year and half. 
This is my main issue with my Social Anxiety. Interacting with people. I'm already quiet. At the same time I'm not too great with public speaking. A bit slow to think on the spot if what I am explaining is lengthy. I guess this is the result of not talking as much. {And also due to my comprehension} I'm just worried and nervous. There are no jobs out here for me. A good fit. Every job is either sale associates and cashing. I want to do stock with out them cross training me on the cashier. Jobs I think of considering such as housekeeping and a Walmart stock job my family tells me no. It is only because my Sister had a bad experience at Walmart {they over work you there} but even so the job would had been a good fit for me. Sadly I am restricted. I just want a good job, something I can do..........


This really bothers me because of my work history. I only had 2 jobs. One job that was a temporary merchandise job at a retail store but it wasn't what I would call a real job. It was a program that helped people with disabilities {a place I didn't belong} to find work base on their skills. It was only for 8 months. I was paid. After the job ended the program helped people to find a permeant job. I ended up finding a Kohls receiving job. The program people helped me to get in but after my 2 training days to which I was cross trained on the cash register and on the 3rd day, my first day to which went terrible..........I left. That day was bad. Since then I struggle to find work. A good fit. 



There is a baggers position I had seen a few weeks ago. It seem easy. I want to work. I really do but it is people and finding the right fit for me less I repeat my pat mistake. Dropping out of college when it got hard after my first week, giving up on work when it got hard...........I seem to just give up too easy. I don't try had enough. Lack of confidence. Surely this is my downfall in my life. In so many ways I regret the way I have turned out in my life. As a person. Then I wouldn't be in this situation or behaving the way that I do. It just feel hard to change yourself. It feel too late because one is so use to being a certain way for some time. Like you're programming yourself as you grow up. If only I was aware of my personality in my earlier years. In my youth. That way I couldn't be this 27 year old adult who can't even help her self. I can help everyone else but myself. Have all the faith for others as my Mom had said and yet I can't use it to help myself in life.




May God help me.
{Sorry for the rant}


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I went to the beach with my mother, father, older brother, wife and kids and had a picnic. It was nice to get outside, and I even went in the water up to my knees and enjoyed the gulf for a little bit. Everyone was dressed up for colder weather, even my older brother who is from New Hampshire thought it was chilly, it was like 67 F outside though, it was not really bad at all - just very windy. The water was nice, and there were a couple of people swimming in it.

I took a snapshot of my dad, while he was playing with his phone :lol










I love mah dad, he is a cool dude.

Here is everyone but me, my brother is playing tic tac toe with my youngest.










While we were eating, there were a flock of birds around us it was so cool, they were all just hovering around in the wind, I even had a few of them fly up to me and grab chips out of my hand. Unfortunately, I didn't take any pictures of them.

I hope to go up to their house later in this week, before my brother goes back north. I barely get to see him anymore, and it is nice to catch up and hang out.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sunshine Lady said:


> Worried. I finally got my State ID so I can look for work. Due to circumstances and writing the wrong apartment number on my ID I wasn't able to get it for a about a year and half.
> This is my main issue with my Social Anxiety. Interacting with people. I'm already quiet. At the same time I'm not too great with public speaking. A bit slow to think on the spot if what I am explaining is lengthy. I guess this is the result of not talking as much. {And also due to my comprehension} I'm just worried and nervous. There are no jobs out here for me. A good fit. Every job is either sale associates and cashing. I want to do stock with out them cross training me on the cashier. Jobs I think of considering such as housekeeping and a Walmart stock job my family tells me no. It is only because my Sister had a bad experience at Walmart {they over work you there} but even so the job would had been a good fit for me. Sadly I am restricted. I just want a good job, something I can do..........
> 
> This really bothers me because of my work history. I only had 2 jobs. One job that was a temporary merchandise job at a retail store but it wasn't what I would call a real job. It was a program that helped people with disabilities {a place I didn't belong} to find work base on their skills. It was only for 8 months. I was paid. After the job ended the program helped people to find a permeant job. I ended up finding a Kohls receiving job. The program people helped me to get in but after my 2 training days to which I was cross trained on the cash register and on the 3rd day, my first day to which went terrible..........I left. That day was bad. Since then I struggle to find work. A good fit.
> 
> There is a baggers position I had seen a few weeks ago. It seem easy. I want to work. I really do but it is people and finding the right fit for me less I repeat my pat mistake. Dropping out of college when it got hard after my first week, giving up on work when it got hard...........I seem to just give up too easy. I don't try had enough. Lack of confidence. Surely this is my downfall in my life. In so many ways I regret the way I have turned out in my life. As a person. Then I wouldn't be in this situation or behaving the way that I do. It just feel hard to change yourself. It feel too late because one is so use to being a certain way for some time. Like you're programming yourself as you grow up. If only I was aware of my personality in my earlier years. In my youth. That way I couldn't be this 27 year old adult who can't even help her self. I can help everyone else but myself. Have all the faith for others as my Mom had said and yet I can't use it to help myself in life.
> 
> May God help me.
> {Sorry for the rant}


Maybe if you work for a company long enough you can work in a department like at a grocery store. Imo, those are the best kinds of jobs at least for people like us. But the pay is better as a department manager. I struggled as a bagger cause it was my first job and having people stare at you while you make yourself work fast has just made me work slower. But if they give you the opportunity to, they can move you up to a better position. I had to literally train my brain just to work faster. And now, I'm like a pro at it. Working in the back around less people has done wonders. Just have to deal with looking for stuff around the store sometimes and every once in awhile a coworker getting in my face with an attitude. Good luck. I think you can do it


----------



## komorikun

cough cough. Lol.


----------



## funnynihilist

komorikun said:


> cough cough. Lol.


Nooooooo! *Runs away*


----------



## zonebox

komorikun said:


> cough cough. Lol.


Oh boy...


----------



## PandaBearx

Like I want to die.


----------



## komorikun




----------



## The Linux Guy

:yawn I wish there was more to life.


----------



## CNikki

I_Exist said:


> :yawn I wish there was more to life.


Sometimes I think of this. But maybe in somewhat of a different context. The 'more things' that slap/ped me in the face tend to leave shortly as they come. Sometimes it's blasphemous to even think if there's anything other than what's in front of me. It's reality.

Guess I'm off on a tangent. I'll leave it at that.


----------



## Sekiro

My ankle hurts so much jesus.


I guess I wasn't careful enough with it but holy crap.


----------



## Ominous Indeed

PandaBearx said:


> Like I want to die.


----------



## donistired

Not bad


----------



## Fun Spirit

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Maybe if you work for a company long enough you can work in a department like at a grocery store. Imo, those are the best kinds of jobs at least for people like us. But the pay is better as a department manager. I struggled as a bagger cause it was my first job and having people stare at you while you make yourself work fast has just made me work slower. But if they give you the opportunity to, they can move you up to a better position. I had to literally train my brain just to work faster. And now, I'm like a pro at it. Working in the back around less people has done wonders. Just have to deal with looking for stuff around the store sometimes and every once in awhile a coworker getting in my face with an attitude. Good luck. I think you can do it


That is my plan. To work my way up {starting as a bagger if I apply for the job} and then knowing the company to in order to be head of the department. {More in likely stock} Just place me in the back and I'm good. Thank you for the feedback


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Not bad.


----------



## nekomaru

Dumb


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bad.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sunshine Lady said:


> That is my plan. To work my way up {starting as a bagger if I apply for the job} and then knowing the company to in order to be head of the department. {More in likely stock} Just place me in the back and I'm good. Thank you for the feedback


That would be a good way to start. You're welcome. &#128524;


----------



## blue2

Ruff.


----------



## Sekiro

Tuff.


----------



## CNikki

komorikun said:


> cough cough. Lol.


...same.

I'm just hoping it's a side effect for something I had recently taken.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I went to the gas station earlier. Heard a guy say hey how are you. I thought he was talking to someone he knew then I turn around cause he was talking to me and looking right at me. And I don't know him lol It was a bit awkward but at least someone said hey I guess. 😂


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I went to the gas station earlier. Heard a guy say hey how are you. I thought he was talking to someone he knew then I turn around cause he was talking to me and looking right at me. And I don't know him lol It was a bit awkward but at least someone said hey I guess. &#55357;&#56834;


What is up with people coming up to me all of a sudden? A girl at the gym asked me how to use the treadmill so I showed her then I was about to leave and she asked me if I'm leaving then asked a couple questions pertaining to losing weight. I was surprised she was conversating with me. She either really wanted to know some tips on working out or wanted to talk or both. I awkwardly stumbled on my words a couple times but yea. At least she sorta talked to me. Such a weird coincidence that two strangers come up to me both in the same day. :stu


----------



## lily

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I went to the gas station earlier. Heard a guy say hey how are you. I thought he was talking to someone he knew then I turn around cause he was talking to me and looking right at me. And I don't know him lol It was a bit awkward but at least someone said hey I guess. &#55357;&#56834;


be careful, could be a predator, not saying he is but only to be careful



PurplePeopleEater said:


> What is up with people coming up to me all of a sudden? A girl at the gym asked me how to use the treadmill so I showed her then I was about to leave and she asked me if I'm leaving then asked a couple questions pertaining to losing weight. I was surprised she was conversating with me. She either really wanted to know some tips on working out or wanted to talk or both. I awkwardly stumbled on my words a couple times but yea. At least she sorta talked to me. Such a weird coincidence that two strangers come up to me both in the same day. :stu


yeah, she probably wanted to friends with you, never know

back to me, This world can be overwhelming but you gotta keep on trying


----------



## nekomaru

PurplePeopleEater said:


> What is up with people coming up to me all of a sudden?


Hard to imagine we're the same species.

Dude/Dudette: (Settles next to me with such ease and swagger)
Me: Σ(￣ロ￣lll)
Dude/dudette: Hey, howzit man? (⌒▽⌒)
Me: I'm good, thanks (・∀・) (The **** you want!? You wanna kidnap me? 
Sell my kidneys? Is there a twig in my hair? Toilet paper trailing from my pants? What is your motive!? :eyes:eyes:eyes:eyes:eyes).
Dude/dudette: (Such good weather today... wonder how long my buddys gonna be in the bathroom for?)

Anyways, I feel sick. Took the day off...


----------



## Karsten

nekomaru said:


> Hard to imagine we're the same species.
> 
> Dude/Dudette: (Settles next to me with such ease and swagger)
> Me: Σ(￣ロ￣lll)
> Dude/dudette: Hey, howzit man? (⌒▽⌒)
> Me: I'm good, thanks (・∀・) (The **** you want!? You wanna kidnap me?
> Sell my kidneys? Is there a twig in my hair? Toilet paper trailing from my pants? What is your motive!? :eyes:eyes:eyes:eyes:eyes).
> Dude/dudette: (Such good weather today... wonder how long my buddys gonna be in the bathroom for?)
> 
> Anyways, I feel sick. Took the day off...


Have you ever had a twig in your hair?


----------



## nekomaru

Karsten said:


> Have you ever had a twig in your hair?


I did. And a colleague pulled out a giant ant-thing the other day. No idea how it got there.


----------



## Karsten

nekomaru said:


> I did. And a colleague pulled out a giant ant-thing the other day. No idea how it got there.


You're lucky to be alive. Those ant-things are dangerous.

Do you do lots of walking in the woods? Or crawling under decks?


----------



## nekomaru

Karsten said:


> You're lucky to be alive. Those ant-things are dangerous.
> 
> Do you do lots of walking in the woods? Or crawling under decks?


Nah, just regular tree climbing and Tarzan-ing through the bush on my daily commutes. Yawkers won't understand.

:evil:banana:evil This. Is. Africa. :evil:banana:evil


----------



## Karsten

nekomaru said:


> Nah, just regular tree climbing and Tarzan-ing through the bush on my daily commutes. Yawkers won't understand.
> 
> :evil:banana:evil This. Is. Africa. :evil:banana:evil


I have to do some tree climbing and Tarzaning on my daily commutes, too. Not because I live in the bush, though. I just owe a lot of people money and can't use the main roads.


----------



## nekomaru

Karsten said:


> I have to do some tree climbing and Tarzaning on my daily commutes, too. Not because I live in the bush, though. I just owe a lot of people money and can't use the main roads.


Without jokes you just reminded me that my electricity bills are due tomorrow :O
Thanks!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> be careful, could be a predator, not saying he is but only to be careful
> 
> yeah, she probably wanted to friends with you, never know
> 
> back to me, This world can be overwhelming but you gotta keep on trying


Yea, he might have been with the way he seemed a bit forceful about it. I guess that's not really enough to go by to decide whether he is one unless he harassed me or said something really weird. The way he looked at me did come off a tad weird but I didnt think anything of it at the time except that usually no one asks how are you at a gas station. And the other girl probably did want to be friends. Never know. It was surprising but I like that she acknowledged me.

*hugs* It can get pretty overwhelming the more and more you learn about life.

@nekomaru &#128514; I'll pass on getting my kidneys sold.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like I got up way too early.


----------



## Sekiro

SamanthaStrange said:


> Like I got up way too early.


 Bruh cue me this morning.

-> Wake up at 05:00.
-> Sleep until 05:15 because I didn't have to leave until 6:30.
-> Take an hour to get ready because this ****ing ankle in the morning hurts like a sonuva gun.
-> Get into car at 6:15.
-> Look at car clock. It says 5:15.
-> Me going, "Wtf... Oh... Right..."
-> Getting coffee, going to work and being like, "**** IM TIRED"

Also my ankle hurts lol
This morning I just sort of rolled to wherever I needed to go, less painful that way.


----------



## Eternal Solitude

Hopeless :crying:


----------



## Crisigv

feeling hopeless and suicidal


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Uncomfortable. Need to be on the lookout.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Better than I have in a week, almost past this cold/flu


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired still. Waiting for my turn at the dentist this morning.



Canadian Brotha said:


> Better than I have in a week, almost past this cold/flu


Good luck brother.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Woke up with a headache. Stressed out, anxious, depressed, and bored with it all.


----------



## Crisigv

I have to put on mascara when I go out so don't burst out in tears.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I dont like how my boss was talking about. some woman during a meeting I had to go to. Sounds like she was making fun of some woman cause she was a big size. She said she was bending over in a dress and saying how she could "see it all". and how she was a thick woman. Then she started laughing. And the other manager and all my coworkers were laughing too. So what if she was thick? :/ Talking behind someone's back like that just makes me uncomfortable, especially when I'm forced to listen to it. -__- That isn't professional work behavior. I felt uncomfortable and embarrassed to hear her say that.


----------



## Sekiro

Drained but very motivated.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Alright.


----------



## zonebox

I'm so tired right now, I feel like my mind is scattered in so many directions. I feel pretty good though, I mean not depressed or anything, I tried to get some sleep earlier but did not succeed.


----------



## copper

Hate the week after the time changes. It is a struggle to get through the workday. Just tired all of the time.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Tired still. Waiting for my turn at the dentist this morning.
> 
> Good luck brother.


Cheers!


----------



## Graeme1988

Graeme1988 said:


> Quite depressed... just lost an external hard drive that had 2 years worth of music ideas that I'd been working on, as well as 12 years worth of family photos.





lily said:


> :hug wow, sorry to hear that.


Well, nearly 2 months since losing it, yesterday I found that hard drive with my music recordings, music samples and the 12 years worth of family photos. _Yay!_ :boogie


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Okay. Just okay.


----------



## Sekiro

Driven, but still too lazy.



Clear, but still too muddied.



Focused, but still too distracted.


In the end all that stops me from moving is excuses. And those are my real enemy.


----------



## aqwsderf

Alone


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Well, nearly 2 months since losing it, yesterday I found that hard drive with my music recordings, music samples and the 12 years worth of family photos. _Yay!_ :boogie


Wow, congratulations!


----------



## asittingducky

The war in africa with eurasia and eastasia continues...


----------



## Crisigv

Not good at all. How does someone come out of this?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

So anxious, and I don't know how to calm myself down.


----------



## PandaBearx

Sleepy :yawn


----------



## mariopepper

A little bit sad. But I don't even know why so


----------



## hateliving

terrible


----------



## zonebox

Just cleared out a year's worth of ice from our standing freezer, my that was quite a mess. Now I'm covered in water, sweat, I think a bit of ground beef, and my feets are all wet. Despite all that, I feel pretty gewd right now.. and I think my dog likes me even more for some reason, must be the ground beef cologne, by frigidaire.


----------



## donistired

Could be better. Been a hard week. At least tomorrow is Friday.


----------



## harrison

Feeling pretty good - had some very good sales lately and made a couple of good new contacts. My wife says I seem to have been okay recently - and this nice Gp says it's okay to just take a low dose of my meds as long as I've got someone calling to check on me regularly. 

Can always go back to that new psych if necessary - she was very nice and even called to see how I was. Might see her again eventually.


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

Exhausted. Too tired from work to do anything productive like technical drawing.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Oh my God. I'm freaking out and pissed right now. I called my boss cause I got a phone call on my day off and that woman didnt come in. She told me to be prepared tomorrow cause a bunch of things got sold. She shouldve gotten fired for that! I guess its cause of the coronavirus. Ugh. The rest of my day off has been ruined. But they dont expect me to work overtime so how can I work overtime if they dont want me to!? This is just extra work on me.


----------



## Crisigv

Very uneasy, worried, sad


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sore back, mostly better from illness


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Not bad, my brain is tired though. Need to recharge my batteries. "introvert meme"


----------



## Crisigv

I'm unlovable, unwanted. I'm in agony.


----------



## harrison

I can't understand how I can feel okay one day and absolutely terrible the next. Today was the sort of day where I shouldn't leave my apartment. A terrible black mood comes over me and I hate everyone and everything and I know I shouldn't be outside when I get like that. It's one of the worst feelings I've ever felt.


----------



## Sekiro

Slightly sick but I have at least 120 rolls of toilet paper so I know it's not corona.


----------



## nekomaru

harrison said:


> I can't understand how I can feel okay one day and absolutely terrible the next. Today was the sort of day where I shouldn't leave my apartment. A terrible black mood comes over me and I hate everyone and everything and I know I shouldn't be outside when I get like that. It's one of the worst feelings I've ever felt.


For me it's more like moment to moment than day to day... felt okay just a couple of hours ago and now I feel achingly lonely and a bit hopeless. Was feeling like something was going to work out these past couple weeks but now I feel like it will never materialize...


----------



## komorikun

Slight fever. But I don't have a thermometer so can't say for sure.


----------



## Crisigv

Horrible. Every day I regret not taking my life in my garage that day.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Vulnerable and anxious.


----------



## Sekiro

SamanthaStrange said:


> Vulnerable and anxious.


I can donate you some of my toilet paper rolls.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sekiro said:


> I can donate you some of my toilet paper rolls.


:wife


----------



## Sekiro

SamanthaStrange said:


> :wife


What if you have enough of it you can cure anything.


----------



## harrison

nekomaru said:


> For me it's more like moment to moment than day to day... felt okay just a couple of hours ago and now I feel achingly lonely and a bit hopeless. Was feeling like something was going to work out these past couple weeks but now I feel like it will never materialize...


I wish mine was just a momentary thing. When my moods change it's for a while and nothing will change it. I just wait until it goes away. Usually I just stay home but yesterday I was already out and it was hard for me to get back to my apartment.

It's just the down part of this I guess - haven't had any mania for a while so this is just how my depressive or mixed episodes seem to present themselves now. It's a terrible feeling though.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm alright. I still need to get some more water cause I don't have enough. I bought 4 drinks today but it is not worth it to go through those really long lines just to get 2 cases of water. I'm not really sure what I should do.


----------



## CNikki

Slept throughout the day. Now I feel (and look) groggy.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Excited for tonight.


----------



## blue2

Whacky flailing arm guy.


----------



## PandaBearx

Irritable, sometimes I just want to be alone for a little bit and it makes me upset when people don't understand.


----------



## Crisigv

absolutely worthless


----------



## Sekiro

Crisigv said:


> absolutely worthless


 There are people in this world I don't think should be in it, but you're definitely not one of them.
It would be a lonelier world without you:smile2:


----------



## man-Argentina

Pretty f***ed up, as all days. Loneliness really makes me bad. Weekends are the worst, because its just about stay at home, doing not much, go out ? alone ? just walk around from a place to another ? just thinking things in my mind moving my legs pretending im doing something, no. At night (right now) just nothing to do, read in forums, thinking something its going to appear, but always the same, nothing. Its just a big void of nothing.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

My back is still sore


----------



## Sekiro

I'm pretty f'ing fired up. And I have a headache.

Edit: headache gone now


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Unwell, physically and emotionally. Anxious. Alone.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

SamanthaStrange said:


> Unwell, physically and emotionally. Anxious. Alone.


 :squeeze

I was feeling bad yesterday (and for like 3 days prior). Feeling better today somewhat.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Concerned I guess but other than that, I'm okies. 🤗


----------



## andy1984

alone/lonely/horny lol


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely, rejected, lied to, etc


----------



## aqwsderf

If I had more anger, I'd feel less hurt.

I wish I was a more angry person. I think it could be somewhat liberating in certain circumstances.


----------



## SparklingWater

Surprised. Hopeful. Happy.


----------



## donistired

Burnt out


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

aqwsderf said:


> If I had more anger, I'd feel less hurt.
> 
> I wish I was a more angry person. I think it could be somewhat liberating in certain circumstances.


I never liked anger. Hurt can be just as bad though. Anger is a worse emotion for me but I get over anger quicker than when I get hurt. Getting hurt stays with you but anger also isn't good for health. :S

I used to get angry a lot and didn't like it at all. All I had was anger. It mainly happened when I started smoking weed for 3 years. Once I quit smoking it, I became so much less angry and started getting my life together. I hung around the wrong crowd. People influencing me to smoke it all the time. Well, at first they wanted me to just smoke it then it got to the point where they wanted me to do it more and more. These were people that cant go more than a day without it. Weed is not my thing at all. Plus, it made me lazy and hungrier when I already have enough of an appetite to where I feel as if I'm famished a lot even though I'm not. Everytime I smoked it, I felt like I had the memory of a fish. Although, fish dont really have a bad memory.


----------



## aqwsderf

@PurplePeopleEater

Yeah I can see that being difficult to deal with. Glad you were able to break free from that.

I think anger, within limits, could be good. It could help protect you, especially from injustices. Whenever I'm hurt, I think I blame myself instead. If I was more angry about it, I'd be able to let go more easily.


----------



## andy1984

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Excited for tonight.


what's happening tonight?


----------



## CNikki

As of right now, lost.


----------



## komorikun

A bit freaked out.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

andy1984 said:


> what's happening tonight?


Me and a certain user had fun laughing at stupid people on YouTube. It happened last night.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> As of right now, lost.


I hope you feel better soon, Nikki. "hugs"


----------



## andy1984

komorikun said:


> A bit freaked out.


why?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

aqwsderf said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> Yeah I can see that being difficult to deal with. Glad you were able to break free from that.
> 
> I think anger, within limits, could be good. It could help protect you, especially from injustices. Whenever I'm hurt, I think I blame myself instead. If I was more angry about it, I'd be able to let go more easily.


True. It's that fight or flight kicking in. It helps in the short term just like with stress. But in the long term, it's unhealthy. I see how anger would help with that. Feeling guilty sucks.

I quit smoking cold turkey. Didnt even need anyone to help me quit or anything. I just decided one day that thisis ridiculous. I need to get myself. together then quit. I'm proud of myself for it. It. might be good for most people to smoke it but it wasn't for me. Plus it would be more money to spend. :lol

The paranoia was worse than the anger but in ways the anger was worse.


----------



## andy1984

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Me and a certain user had fun laughing at stupid people on YouTube. It happened last night.


do i have to tell you again, stop laughing at me! both of you. :crying:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

andy1984 said:


> do i have to tell you again, stop laughing at me! both of you. :crying:


No, not you.


----------



## andy1984

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> No, not you.


:grin2: am i not funny enough for you? :crying:

P.S. glad you had fun :boogie


----------



## aqwsderf

@PurplePeopleEater

I think it takes a lot of willpower to do what you did so definitely something worth being proud about &#128578;


----------



## Memories of Silence

andy1984 said:


> :grin2: am i not funny enough for you? :crying:
> 
> P.S. glad you had fun :boogie


You're funny, but not stupid.


----------



## komorikun

andy1984 said:


> why?


As you know things are getting crazy here.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Silent Memory said:


> You're funny, but not stupid.


Quoted for truth.:grin2:


----------



## zonebox

I've responded to this thread 221 times, that is pretty remarkable in my opinion. I think this thread is the most responded to by me than any other. My response is typical that I am feeling pretty good, and that is pretty accurate. With every response I make to it, I feel a tinge of guilt, as though I should feel something other than good, isn't that strange?


I still feel pretty good at the moment, things could be a lot worst. I think when responding to this thread, I think of all of the horrible things that could be happening, and that is the rational behind my response. Compared to the hells I could imagine, I'm doing pretty damned good right now.


----------



## andy1984

Silent Memory said:


> You're funny, but not stupid.





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Quoted for truth.:grin2:


i know, i'm like a savant or something - an idiot savant :haha


----------



## andy1984

komorikun said:


> As you know things are getting crazy here.


 how crazy is it? is it still toilet-paper-fight level crazy or is it there's-nothing-left-at-the-supermarket-so-i'm-going-to-starve level?

i know its a bit harder for people that don't have anyone to depend on. no one to ask for extra food or whatever you need if you do run out etc. have to solve everything on your own. troubling. i hope it doesn't get too bad.


----------



## harrison

Bored out of my head. My wife won't want me coming to the house soon because she'll think I'm bringing the ****ing coronavirus into her house and I can't even go to Bali. They've even closed the libraries.

I think I'm going to need a lot more medication.


----------



## Citrine79

Barely functional at the moment. No idea how I am going to get thru this. Probably going to need a total blackout of news and internet for awhile as I am easily susceptible to fear and hysteria and I am letting it get the best of me.


----------



## CNikki

Mind if I join the bandwagon of how the news and general hysteria is irritating me as well? Never thought I'd say this, but I want life to be 'normal' again. And I don't even know what normal is.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

aqwsderf said:


> @PurplePeopleEater
> 
> I think it takes a lot of willpower to do what you did so definitely something worth being proud about &#128578;


It was the best decision I ever made.


----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

i got angry at a customer service advisor. i now i feel bad. it was online chat but oh well.


----------



## andy1984

whatever my material situation and my feelings _about_ certain things, i am pretty content right now. it feels good. i wouldn't want to feel better than this, because then there would be the danger of losing that feeling.


----------



## Sekiro

I don't know exactly.

Encouraged, anxious, determined, concerned, happy, and inquisitive all in one.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Didnt have a good day today. It was a bit stressful but I'm glad to be home.


----------



## firestar

I was worried and stressed out but then my cat crawled onto my lap.


----------



## discopotato

Excited that my trip out of town is canceled, I really don't feel like socializing with a bunch of strangers


----------



## SamanthaStrange

So tired, I'm just too anxious to get any kind of restful sleep right now.


----------



## PandaBearx

Bored af, it's so crummy out and there's nowhere to go at this rate. I was thinking about just going for a drive to get out of the house, but meh.


----------



## Crisigv

Lost


----------



## nekomaru

Crisigv said:


> Lost


You and me, both :crying::crying::crying:


----------



## Crisigv

nekomaru said:


> You and me, both :crying::crying::crying:


I'm sorry


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Not bad.


----------



## blue2

I don't know 😞


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

blue2 said:


> I don't know &#128542;


Oh noes. &#128566;

I'm alright. Actually managing okay staying home all the time. Gives me more time to read and clean up my room and more time listening to music and watching YouTube.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I'm feeling tired and concerned.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> Wow, congratulations!


Thank lily.


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Thank lily.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry. Better go and eat something after my shower.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

This year seems crappier than I thought it would be. 😒


----------



## funnynihilist

PurplePeopleEater said:


> This year seems crappier than I thought it would be. &#128530;


That's an understatement lol


----------



## Persephone The Dread

tired/drained.


----------



## Crisigv

PurplePeopleEater said:


> This year seems crappier than I thought it would be. &#128530;


Just a bit, yeah


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

funnynihilist said:


> That's an understatement lol


Yea, a massive understatement. &#55357;&#56850;&#55357;&#56725;

@Crisigv I'm starting to get tired of staying home like I cant go out freely. That's partially why I don't like this year and because my job has become like Walmart. You have to go out at certain times just to get bread, water and all that stuff. It feels like the world is getting crazier but that's probably just me being paranoid. lol Oh well.At least I got my music, books, and YouTube to keep me sane.


----------



## nekomaru

Dull


----------



## Crisigv

@PurplePeopleEater you're not paranoid, the world is crazy


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Crisigv said:


> @PurplePeopleEater you're not paranoid, the world is crazy


Very much so. I'm feeling more concerned about the way things are going but trying to be hopeful. Haven't been as hopeful these past 2 days.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Need to not stay up so late, it does a number on my mood the next day. Although the dreary weather outside doesn't help that either. I should feel better as the night progresses.


----------



## CNikki

Weary on so many levels. All I ask is that I do not get myself in some anxiety attack...


----------



## Crisigv

lonely, nervous, worried


----------



## aqwsderf

Bored


----------



## Sekiro

aqwsderf said:


> Bored


You know what's crazy when I was a teenager I could fill my time with video games and be as happy as a clam. Now I just don't seem to have the same enjoyment haha.


----------



## aqwsderf

Sekiro said:


> You know what's crazy when I was a teenager I could fill my time with video games and be as happy as a clam. Now I just don't seem to have the same enjoyment haha.


When I was in middle school I used to do a lot of fictional writing and that would entertain me for hours. Now writing a paragraph seems like tedious work &#128539;


----------



## komorikun

I hate people who stockpile things. Preppers or hoarders, whatever. Selfish a-holes. I imagine as they shop they say "MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE ALL MINE MINE MINE MINE!"


----------



## komorikun

komorikun said:


> cough cough. Lol.


Still cough cough. Haven't felt sick though yet. Just cough cough.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Not bad, if a bit moody. Bit of a dreary day outside again which never helps.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sometimes, I feel like I died and went to hell. lol Going to listen to some music to make me feel better.


----------



## blue2

^^Good idea, I'm listening to music on the smart TV I got for Christmas, the sound quality is excellent.


----------



## Citrine79

I am at my wits end. I am beyond worried and nervous. I can’t function,
I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t do anything but worry and cry. I am scared of what is going on in my mind right now.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

blue2 said:


> ^^Good idea, I'm listening to music on the smart TV I got for Christmas, the sound quality is excellent.


Oh cool. Bet that would be fun listening to it on a TV. &#129303;


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Stressed because of my job. I made a big mistake and I dont doubt I'll get in trouble. Off to a great start. Just perfect.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Who cares how I'm feeling?

No one.


----------



## Sekiro

SamanthaStrange said:


> Who cares how I'm feeling?
> 
> No one.


I:

now i mad


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sekiro said:


> I:
> 
> now i mad


:serious:


----------



## Sekiro

SamanthaStrange said:


> :serious:


i isnt nobodys no no one


----------



## firestar

SamanthaStrange said:


> Who cares how I'm feeling?
> 
> No one.


:squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

firestar said:


> :squeeze


Thanks.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Nervous. Hope I dont get fired for that big **** up I did. Won't have anything coming in at all tomorrow and not until Tuesday. Just great. lol This is the worst time for this to be happening. Somehow couldnt get them in the system. I'm already low on stuff.


----------



## Karsten

Agitated.


----------



## aqwsderf

I'm starting to feel guilty that we aren't talking and that I've blocked him. Now with this whole coronavirus happening and governments putting restrictions. I'm wondering how it's affecting him and if everything's okay. 

I know I shouldn't message him and I won't. But I do feel bad that I'm not "there"


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Fat & lightly buzzed


----------



## CNikki

Think it's been a week since I last cried (sadly the longest streak in a while.) Now the streak ended.


----------



## CNikki

aqwsderf said:


> I know I shouldn't message *them and I won't. But I do feel bad that I'm not "there"


Had to * and modify your quote since I'm feeling the exact same way about someone(s) right now.


----------



## aqwsderf

@CNikki

Hopefully it'll start feeling better for us.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Currently I'm feeling ok, but lonely. They say if you chase happiness you won't be able to catch it.


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless


----------



## The Linux Guy

I always feel like I need attention. That's a bad thing.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like I'm never going to stop crying.


----------



## firestar

SamanthaStrange said:


> Like I'm never going to stop crying.


:squeeze


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

SamanthaStrange said:


> Like I'm never going to stop crying.


I know how you feel.

I've cried a few times recently but havent been doing it a lot. This world gets lamer and lamer everyday. I used to cry all the time.

@lily That's awesome.  Be safe out there.


----------



## funnynihilist

PurplePeopleEater said:


> This world gets lamer and lamer everyday.


God isn't that the truth?!??!
2019: the good old days 
The 80s and 90s and even the 00s seem like a dream world.
I've even been nostalgic for like 2015!


----------



## losthorizon

apprehensive and restless.


----------



## Crisigv

having trouble breathing


----------



## CNikki

Still somewhat lost and unmotivated. Dissociated?

Wishing at times that I can find some quick way to live a completely different life. I wouldn't have the problem(s) that seem consistent while others seem more prominent at times...

If anything, I think this pandemic that's essentially encouraging us to be completely incubated from it just magnifies what is wrong and how I've taken some of it for granted.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

funnynihilist said:


> God isn't that the truth?!??!
> 2019: the good old days
> The 80s and 90s and even the 00s seem like a dream world.
> I've even been nostalgic for like 2015!


Damn. &#128514; This gave me a laugh.


----------



## Crisigv

Amused


----------



## The Linux Guy

Lonely and Not Motivated enough to write something serious. I wish someone was talking to me.


----------



## lily

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @lily That's awesome.  Be safe out there.


Thank you, you too! I can't wait 'til the Corona virus thing is over, hopefully soon, 2020 is not starting nice!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> Thank you, you too! I can't wait 'til the Corona virus thing is over, hopefully soon, 2020 is not starting nice!


No problemo.  Thanks. Haha, me too.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling kinda down right now.


----------



## copper

Fell yesterday going down the steps that go to my kitchen. I don't know how it happen. My foot must of slipped off the bottom step. Before I know it I am on the floor. I surprised my back didn't go out. I ended up getting a rug burn on the front right knee and my right elbow. My side of my foot where my big toe hurts and I can't hardly walk. Bad time for this to happen with this Covid crap going around. I think it will have to be xrayed. Hopefully, I can get in to see my doctor.


----------



## firelight

Worried about my sick cat.


----------



## Sekiro

firelight said:


> Worried about my sick cat.


Aw what's wrong with 'em?


----------



## discopotato

Annoyed. If you don't want me to miss my deadline, maybe you should tell me when that deadline is. Just a thought. I'm not a mind reader, unfortunately.


----------



## firelight

Sekiro said:


> Aw what's wrong with 'em?


Her eye has a clear discharge and yesterday one side of her face started to swell. Threw up last night too...


----------



## Sekiro

firelight said:


> Her eye has a clear discharge and yesterday one side of her face started to swell. Threw up last night too...


Any chance for the vet?


----------



## firestar

firelight said:


> Her eye has a clear discharge and yesterday one side of her face started to swell. Threw up last night too...


:squeeze My kitty got sick last year. He scared the heck out of me. I hope yours feels well soon.


----------



## firelight

Sekiro said:


> Any chance for the vet?


Yeah might have to... gotta check if they're open during lockdown.



firestar said:


> :squeeze My kitty got sick last year. He scared the heck out of me. I hope yours feels well soon.


Thanks.


----------



## Sekiro

firelight said:


> Yeah might have to... gotta check if they're open during lockdown.


If not then you can always call around and see if there are vets doing house calls.


----------



## CWe

Mixture of feeling like crap but also feel relieved


----------



## nekomaru

Tired. Crappy. And itchy. I hate eczema.


----------



## XebelRebel

I'm bored; that's why I'm posting this video of "Katherine Schwarzenegger" (A.K.A. Dr Brie Larsonski) impersonating my psychologist friend.






I found that video while searching for the "Bad Therapy" movie trailer -- which I had previously discovered on the web, after writing about my psychologist friend here on SAS a few days ago.






It looks like quite a funny movie. The story seems to be somewhat based on the behaviour of my psychologist friend, but it also reflects my sense of shame regarding how I behaved towards her. I feel bad about the way I had repeatedly insinuated that she might have been having an issue with her husband. (I think I simply wanted her to have been having relationship difficulties, as I had hoped for her to be romantically available.)


----------



## DeliveryDude

Need to stimulate my mind with something new. Netflix and the internet isn't that fun anymore and I have zero friends.


----------



## TheCourier1991

Like a coward. But it's okay I'm not the "betray someone and run away" kinda of coward, I'm just the kind who wants to avoid conflict.


----------



## CNikki

Went from starting the day being okay and slowly escalating to 'a wrong turn'. I don't say that lightly since it went at a level where, in the past, I had been referred to anger management for. Feeling like crap ever since.


----------



## Sekiro

I took a nap and now I'm not sleepy d:


----------



## aqwsderf

Sekiro said:


> I took a nap and now I'm not sleepy d:


Me too!


----------



## CNikki

Sekiro said:


> I took a nap and now I'm not sleepy d:





aqwsderf said:


> Me too!


Me three.

Just kidding. Only wanted to fit in for a second...


----------



## funnynihilist

Just sitting in my cell.


----------



## hateliving

feeling like ****


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## leaf in the wind

Panicked. The walls are closing in.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Slightly dizzy.


----------



## Sekiro

SamanthaStrange said:


> Slightly dizzy.


try not to spin around so much


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Energy drink is making me feel invincible at work again like I can get stuff done without as much hesitation.


----------



## aqwsderf

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Energy drink is making me feel invincible at work again like I can get stuff done without as much hesitation.


What's this magical drink? I need it


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

aqwsderf said:


> What's this magical drink? I need it


Haba. It's called Reign. I only drink them on average like 3 times a month. I need to switch back to coffee again.


----------



## aqwsderf

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Haba. It's called Reign. I only drink them on average like 3 times a month. I need to switch back to coffee again.


Hmm I'll look it up. Coffee does nothing to me &#128533; ..besides it being delicious


----------



## harrison

A bit better. This antidepressant seems to take the edge off things a bit for me - and helps reduce the anger and worry. Definitely needed something at the moment with all that's going on.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

aqwsderf said:


> Hmm I'll look it up. Coffee does nothing to me &#128533; ..besides it being delicious


lol I can drink just a few sips of coffee or an energy drink and I'll be energetic for hours. I got the sour apple flavor. Its yummy.


----------



## Crisigv

extremely amused


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Vindicated.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious. Alone. Emotional. Unstable.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious. Alone. Emotional. Unstable.


"hugs"


----------



## PandaBearx

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious. Alone. Emotional. Unstable.


Sending a :squeeze your way if okay.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

PandaBearx said:


> Sending a :squeeze your way if okay.





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> "hugs"


Thanks! :squeeze


----------



## Ai

Annoyed at my laptop not working, but otherwise okay. I admit I am enjoying being off from work far more than I ought to be. I have been training for this "social-distancing" business my whole life. I am *ready*!


----------



## Crisigv

Antsy. I think I may go for a drive later after dinner.


----------



## Musicfan

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious. Alone. Emotional. Unstable.


:hug


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Musicfan said:


> :hug


Thanks.


----------



## PandaBearx

I'm feeling anxious. Need some chamomile tea in my life.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feel weird. Like my third eye has opened wide. Idk.


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feel weird. Like my third eye has opened wide. Idk.


Really? I always feel weird.


----------



## aqwsderf

Just got off the phone with the telehealth doctor for my dad. I feel so uncomfortable 😐

I've always hated doing this type of thing. Making phone calls and translating for parents. I'm better now than I was in my teens but sndndb


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I_Exist said:


> Really? I always feel weird.


lol A different weird. :laugh:


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> lol A different weird. :laugh:


What is the difference between weird 1 and weird 2? :b


----------



## zonebox

I think the image below pretty much summarizes how I feel at the moment.










​If only I could climb aboard a ship, and take a few months to years off from this planet.​


----------



## tehuti88

I just want to fall asleep and not wake up. :crying: Everyone seems to handle the worry better than I do...I wish I had a fraction of their ability.

And if I can't fall asleep and not wake up then I wish there was something useful/helpful I could do...but I have no talents. I can't even take care of myself (one reason this is hitting me so hard). I can't do anything.


----------



## funnynihilist

Bad as usual


----------



## PandaBearx

Sleepy due to insomnia, haven't been sleeping much this past week.


----------



## tehuti88

Read an article about COVID patients dying suffering and alone because family can't visit them. My heart breaks every night for my parents. I feel our chances of all making it through this okay are none. And I can't live without them. And the fear of being alone and unable to breathe terrifies me too. I don't want to keep waking up to this. I can't keep living with this fear. I wish so much I would just die in my sleep and they would be okay and go on without me.

I don't know what I'm going to do when one of us gets symptoms. Every day it gets closer. It's like a train is coming and I can't even move out of the way. And even worse, the train won't kill me immediately, it'll make me suffer unimaginably and my parents suffer, too. And they won't be there for me and I won't be there for them. We'll all be alone. I'm so...I can't find words. I just want this over. I don't want to wake up anymore. :crying:

I can't even turn anywhere for a hug even if there were any to be given because we all have to be alone.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

@tehuti88

FWIW :squeeze :squeeze :squeeze :squeeze

Feels cheap and hollow and pointless, I know. Many of us are probably in similar circumstances. Mine are not as obviously dire at the moment but I could easily lose everything too (not that I had anything that was gonna last anyway but still). I'm just trying to think about it in a detached way. Because that's the only way to stay sane, I guess.


----------



## Blue Dino

@tehuti88
Chances of getting it are still relatively low. Just like the swine flu, it will past. Lots of experts are saying it will subside as spring and summer comes around. Vaccine is being aggressively being developed and more times passes, the closer it is to it. The swine flu vaccine was developed within a year. With this being so aggressively approached, vaccine should be out around the time frame too. Hang in there. All of us are as well.


----------



## firestar

PandaBearx said:


> Sleepy due to insomnia, haven't been sleeping much this past week.


Same here. I was so tired all day yesterday, but I still couldn't make myself fall asleep early. My mind is racing all the time.


----------



## PandaBearx

firestar said:


> Same here. I was so tired all day yesterday, but I still couldn't make myself fall asleep early. My mind is racing all the time.


It's so bad. I just need sleep. I took a melatonin last night hoping it'd help. T_T Only got 3 hours of sleep max.


----------



## firestar

PandaBearx said:


> It's so bad. I just need sleep. I took a melatonin last night hoping it'd help. T_T Only got 3 hours of sleep max.


:squeeze That's awful. I'm getting twice as much and I'm still exhausted.


----------



## PandaBearx

firestar said:


> :squeeze That's awful. I'm getting twice as much and I'm still exhausted.


:squeeze I wish, though I'm sorry you're feeling exhausted. Stress really can wear a person down so it's understandable, especially with everything going on. But I hope today you're able to find the time to relax.


----------



## Crisigv

very depressed today


----------



## blue2

Not bad.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Caffeinated.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exercise plus herb high


----------



## lily

it's sunny today. I'm glad!


----------



## andy1984

restless. i got up 3am because i was super awake. :con
ate some toast, made a cup of tea.


----------



## andy1984

lily said:


> Sorry to hear you're feeling restless  I drank coffee this morning to be able to be up and not lying on my bed but I'm bored right now


i ran out of milk so i had to have coffee without milk or sugar yesterday. it was ok. i shouldn't really drink it though, it screws with my normal sleep routine. i've almost run out of that too. i'm living as if i can't go to the supermarket, but its just around the corner from my place. i still think i can live 2 more weeks on what i have.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I have a headache for the 3rd day in a row. :bah


----------



## CNikki

lily said:


> I like socializing with people I like socializing with and to exchange things with but I can't go back out there. I only have online and there's nothing else left to post.


Surprisingly, I know how you feel. :/

Can't imagine living in a time where the technology we have now wouldn't be around with this type of crisis.


----------



## Crisigv

hated and lonely


----------



## The Linux Guy

I'm feeling so/so. My stomach and bowls are giving me trouble. Other then that I'm just as lonely as always.


----------



## CNikki

A bit helpless. Having bouts of this on and off. It's not like I'm sitting here doing nothing all of the time, despite being a professional procrastinator anyway. I just wish that I can go out and resume to my daily routines again. I'm not sure on what else to do even if I'm given the opportunity to try anything new.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pretty crappy. My sinuses are really bad today, super stuffy nose, and headache again. That's of course in addition to raging anxiety.


----------



## PandaBearx

^ I hope you feel better, it's that time of season.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

^ Thanks


----------



## komorikun

I'm okay. Had a bit too much red wine last night. Still coughing (since the 7th) though not quite as much as before.


----------



## CNikki

Slightly irritated.


----------



## aqwsderf

Kind of sad. Just trying to keep myself distracted


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired of my ability to make everyone uncomfortable


----------



## blue2

Pretty good in a physical capacity, my brain is never that good at the best of times : /


----------



## Replicante

Reloaded


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Tired from exercising. I hate exercising in my small room. I want to go to the gym.


----------



## Replicante

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Tired from exercising. I hate exercising in my small room. I want to go to the gym.


How many squats can you do?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Replicante said:


> How many squats can you do?


I'm not sure.


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Tired from exercising. I hate exercising in my small room. I want to go to the gym.


Can you do a little running outside?


----------



## blue2

Not good, I think if I took a bath I'd be ok though 🙂


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I_Exist said:


> Can you do a little running outside?


I dont like running in public. It's why I never ran at the gym. I guess I could jog in place in my room. I did a little bit of that today.


----------



## Graeme1988

Bored.


----------



## CNikki

Trying not to lose it. I can't right now...


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Been a bit overwhelmed at work and people picking on me every single day now. Shame on people for being such bullies.


----------



## PandaBearx

^I'm sorry people are being such jerks to you :squeeze


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

PandaBearx said:


> ^I'm sorry people are being such jerks to you :squeeze


:sigh Yea, it's made my job just that much more harder.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## komorikun

I could only do 5 hours of "work" today. Always feel like crap on Monday due to lack of sleep but today I couldn't focus at all. Felt horrible. The texts from my sister last night.....suicidal texts mixed in with a long barrage of insults and accusations. oh god....


----------



## Taaylah

I’m so sad. I can’t stop crying I feel awful. I joined an online therapy thing where you can text your therapist and FaceTime because I’ve been so low I really need to speak with someone, but she hasn’t answered me yet. I feel like I won’t hear from her until tomorrow.


----------



## aqwsderf

I feel very empty


----------



## Kevin001

Taaylah said:


> I'm so sad. I can't stop crying I feel awful. I joined an online therapy thing where you can text your therapist and FaceTime because I've been so low I really need to speak with someone, but she hasn't answered me yet. I feel like I won't hear from her until tomorrow.


Not sure what you're going through but stay strong :squeeze


----------



## mezzoforte

Enamored, buzzed.


----------



## Sekiro

aqwsderf said:


> I feel very empty


Drink some water.


mezzoforte said:


> Enamored, buzzed.


 u too


----------



## Crisigv

replaced, worthless, hopeless


----------



## mezzoforte

Sekiro said:


> u too


I'm good bro. :fall


----------



## aqwsderf

Sekiro said:


> Drink some water.


I think I will...and maybe some ice cream too.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

aqwsderf said:


> I think I will...and maybe some ice cream too.


You're going to drink some ice cream? Isn't that just a milkshake? Hehe.


----------



## aqwsderf

SamanthaStrange said:


> You're going to drink some ice cream? Isn't that just a milkshake? Hehe.


I do kinda wait till it melts some &#128522;


----------



## Sekiro

mezzoforte said:


> I'm good bro. :fall


cant say i didnt warn ya


----------



## mezzoforte

Sekiro said:


> cant say i didnt warn ya


No, I love warnings. Thank you sir.


----------



## mezzoforte

Nauseous. :blank Trying to eat something without throwing up.


----------



## CNikki

Lonely. Not for the reasons one might think (or maybe so if they don't think too hard).


----------



## PandaBearx

Numb. Initially I signed up for therapy today. Which was good, it was supposed to be a positive step in the right direction. However I should've done research prior to laying down money for this. Apparently the site I signed up for has the right to disclose information to third parties? and while there's load of people who say it works, there's this_ whole _other side that says it's not HIPAA compliant yadayadayada and all these terrible things about this company. Needless to say I don't feel comfortable using it.

I didn't use the service at all so I'm hoping I can somehow by some miracle be refunded. So I reached out via email and am waiting for a response. It just feels a little soul crushing.


----------



## Kevin001

Conflicted


----------



## Kevin001

lily said:


> Conflicted about what?
> 
> I was just listening to 'Great Are You Lord' song that I posted on March 29 in the Bands, songs, lyrics, etc. I like the beginning more than the end.


About the still attending church thing.....do I not attend for a few weeks? Or am I fearing man and dishonoring God? Idk I think I will continue to go for now....there is a pastor here that got me fired up, his faith is amazing.


----------



## Perkins

Nervous but hopeful. Trying to be optimistic. I also miss my boyfriend.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bad.


----------



## Crisigv

quite broken


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not sure. My phone didnt have any connection at all at the trailer I live in so I drove to the park and it worked fine there and then got slow then worked fine again. I dont know if I need a new phone but I've only had my current phone since July 4 of last year and it's a good phone. I hope my Internet isnt going to cut off again cause I cant really go out places so I wont have anything to do much.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> it will be different not seeing you online so I hope it won't happen. it should be fine.


I drove home and it didnt work so I drove back out to the park again and it worked again. I dont understand what's going on with it. It's like I lose Internet connection once I get home. :stu So I guess I wont be on here much.

I'll be bored to death without YouTube or anywhere to go out. lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Stressed out. Tried to take a nap, but brain said nope.


----------



## hateliving

****ing ****


----------



## blue2

hateliving said:


> ****ing ****


That was mostly censored, but I guess we can guess : /


----------



## The Linux Guy

I got a bad case of postnasal drip. I've had it for years. But with this virus going around it worries me more than usual.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I'm about to ****ing snap.


----------



## blue2

I'm about to snap, crackle & pop.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm feeling do trapped and depressed. I need my freedom back. I need an escape.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> Aw.. I'll pray for you! :hug


Thank you.  No wonder it wasn't working cause I called customer support and they told me they're fixing the cell towers to make it better. It would've been nice to get a notification to let me know or something. Thought it was my phone but it's working so that's good. I wouldn't have minded too much going today without my phone. But I didn't know what was going on.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I'm so anxious and depressed.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

SamanthaStrange said:


> I'm so anxious and depressed.


"hugs"


----------



## SamanthaStrange

@lily  @iAmCodeMonkey

Thanks.


----------



## lily

SamanthaStrange said:


> @lily
> @iAmCodeMonkey
> 
> Thanks.



@blue2 @Crisigv :hug


----------



## Crisigv

Thank you @lily


----------



## Perkins

Bored.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@lily Thank you. And I know what you mean about family. It sucks. I cant go out to eat with my mother anytime soon and one of my sisters lives in Iowa.


----------



## mezzoforte

Extremely anxious and miserable. I don't know what to do. I only want to talk to 1 person right now, and I can't. And I can't turn my brain off. I just want to stop thinking and have some peace of mind.


----------



## AffinityWing

Crappy.

I lost a class this morning from the online tutoring job I started because the WiFi wasn't working and now the group of students for it have been completely unbooked with me. I've been getting very little classes as is so this is very bad if it happens again. :crying: Why is my luck such ****?


----------



## hateliving

severe depression , anxiety, pain


----------



## lily

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @lily Thank you. And I know what you mean about family. It sucks. I cant go out to eat with my mother anytime soon and one of my sisters lives in Iowa.


Yeah I know how you feel but I heard that Corona can't live in temperatures of 20 degrees and higher so I wonder if other countries like Australia, Florida aren't having such a hard time and that we'll be able to carry on by July and then hopefully it'll just disappear.


----------



## aqwsderf

lily said:


> Yeah I know how you feel but I heard that Corona can't live in temperatures of 20 degrees and higher so I wonder if other countries like Australia, Florida aren't having such a hard time and that we'll be able to carry on by July and then hopefully it'll just disappear.


Florida is having a hard time. Especially in South Florida


----------



## lily

aqwsderf said:


> Florida is having a hard time. Especially in South Florida


is South Florida cooler than 20 degrees celsius?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> Yeah I know how you feel but I heard that Corona can't live in temperatures of 20 degrees and higher so I wonder if other countries like Australia, Florida aren't having such a hard time and that we'll be able to carry on by July and then hopefully it'll just disappear.


I heard it was supposed to go on through until July with the shopping at least. And I have no idea about the quarantine. They say ittsupposed to go on until April 30th. And I know some of the hotter areas aren't having a better time with it so I dont think anyone knows anything about it at this point. It should be over close to the end if the Summer I guess.


----------



## aqwsderf

lily said:


> is South Florida cooler than 20 degrees celsius?


No. It's 25 right now. And it'll be 30/31 next week


----------



## wmu'14

I miss sports. I hope the virus is gone by the fall so we can get football season in. Tho, as I heard, if it's not gone by the fall there's gonna be bigger issues. 

I miss normalcy.


----------



## wmu'14

I miss sports. I hope the virus is gone by the fall so we can get football season in. Tho, as I heard, if it's not gone by the fall there's gonna be bigger issues. 

I miss normalcy.


----------



## The Linux Guy

wmu'14 said:


> I miss sports. I hope the virus is gone by the fall so we can get football season in. Tho, as I heard, if it's not gone by the fall there's gonna be bigger issues.
> 
> I miss normalcy.


I realize that God's going to judge the world. But this isn't the way I pictured it. I'm starting to wonder if this is the new normal.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> I also heard that about the quarantine in April but that they're still going to assess it. I hope it doesn't last until the end of summer as I heard earlier on that they said we should be having a better other half of the year.


Fingers crossed it does. &#129303;


----------



## reussos

Peachy.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Stuffed up and still not awake yet. Lol


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel that I'm wasting my time. I should be eating tomato soup and watching some videos. Besides I only come on here because I get lonely. Loneliness sucks.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Stuffed up and still not awake yet. Lol


Aww, that sucks. Hope you feel better. 
@I_Exist :squeeze Tomato soup is good. Yea, loneliness does suck. :frown2:

I feel full. &#129314; But today has been a productive day even though it was chaotic at work.


----------



## lily

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Fingers crossed it does. &#129303;




I have recovered from my sore throat and body ache. I'm glad!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> I have recovered from my sore throat and body ache. I'm glad!


That's awesome. :smile2:


----------



## harrison

A lot better since I went outside for a walk and got some shopping. Looks like most things are back to normal at the shops - masses of toilet paper and they even had eggs. People must be finally calming down.


----------



## andy1984

I've lost the plot. stress is way up. anger is way up.


----------



## CNikki

Anxious. Probably yet another reason why I will not be able to go to bed at a reasonable hour...


----------



## Crisigv

Really bad


----------



## Karsten

Sleepy and hungry.


----------



## lily

harrison said:


> A lot better since I went outside for a walk and got some shopping. Looks like most things are back to normal at the shops - masses of toilet paper and they even had eggs. People must be finally calming down.


That's nice  I got sick and didn't get to go out for over a week but my mom said we could go outside for a walk some time depending on the COVID-19 rules right now as it feels like we're in jail.



Karsten said:


> Sleepy and hungry.


I hate it when that happens! it's like you're probably or likely going to eat something and if you're really hungry you're going to eat but you don't want to sleep after you ate or else you could gain weight. sometimes I just go to sleep after I ate because I'm just so tired but you could try to wait for an hour and a half until you go to sleep if you eat as I've heard not to go to sleep an hour after you eat.


----------



## harrison

lily said:


> That's nice  I got sick and didn't get to go out for over a week but my mom said we could go outside for a walk some time depending on the COVID-19 rules right now as it feels like we're in jail.


Yes it does feel a bit like you're in jail doesn't it. I'm glad you're feeling better Lily - that would be scary feeling like that at the moment I bet.


----------



## Sekiro

The day just started and I'm already over it.

But whoo it's Friday.


----------



## Magnox 100

I feel sad about the illneses everyone is having but trying to keep positive at the same time


----------



## lily

harrison said:


> Yes it does feel a bit like you're in jail doesn't it. I'm glad you're feeling better Lily - that would be scary feeling like that at the moment I bet.


Thank you harrison! You're so kind. So according to the news, you're able to go out together for a walk as long as you're in the same household and two meters away from everyone else. I'll be praying for you!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kind of having a bad day already.  I got in trouble by one of my coworkers for not doing the 6 feet rule and no one informed me I have to do it while working now. I told her I didnt know we had to do it while working and I know it's illegal. Dont know why she got mad at me. I dont want to get in big trouble for it.


----------



## funnynihilist

I always wake up with a sense of dread. For years now.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> I always wake up with a sense of dread. For years now.


Me too.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Sad. And bored.


----------



## zonebox

Tonight is a drinking night, so I'm feeling pretty good. I'm looking forward to watching Onward tonight as well. It seems the world around me is falling apart, but I'm still doing fine.. I've gotten past thinking about covid all day, and have been able to get back to some of my hobbies which is nice - I think it is inevitable that I will get it, but we'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it.


----------



## IcedOver

Wishing I had moved more forcefully both to get a different job and to rent a free-standing house before this government response to the virus hit. I think doing both things is going to be difficult. I still have a job, but we don't have much going on because all our projects were canceled and we scaled back our company and laid off some folks. The job I wanted/was halfheartedly trying to get was in a potentially so-called (by the governor) "essential" business and likely would have entailed in-office work. This work from home is for the birds, although I haven't been doing much work for two weeks. With my micro-sized apartment, it feels like a jail. The drunk above me thankfully hasn't been ranting and stomping lately, but the chick next door is home constantly and belting out her annoying, affected laugh a lot.

I've been catching up on "60 Days In" in which innocent people are sent to jail to report on what's going on. Watching them caged up in small cells isn't much different from what's currently going on.


----------



## Evo1114

So damn bored. I wish I had like some sort of project to do outside. Downside of apartment living I guess.


----------



## funnynihilist

Blech


----------



## The Linux Guy

Over Whelmed with Media.


----------



## lily

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Kind of having a bad day already.  I got in trouble by one of my coworkers for not doing the 6 feet rule and no one informed me I have to do it while working now. I told her I didnt know we had to do it while working and I know it's illegal. Dont know why she got mad at me. I dont want to get in big trouble for it.


:squeeze Forgive yourself, you didn't know, but now you do and can do it from now on and I understand how things like that can ruin your day. Well today I heard that in whereabouts I live that according to the statistics, they estimate that thousands will die from this virus by the end of this month. I forgot the exact amount I was told but so they've said to stay home as much as possible and someone I know caught the virus now so it is near and contagious, it has been suggested to me to wear mask when I go out now.

but I've also heard myself that what we've been doing has worked so things are declining.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> :squeeze Forgive yourself, you didn't know, but now you do and can do it from now on and I understand how things like that can ruin your day. Well today I heard that in whereabouts I live that according to the statistics, they estimate that thousands will die from this virus by the end of this month. I forgot the exact amount I was told but so they've said to stay home as much as possible and someone I know caught the virus now so it is near and contagious, it has been suggested to me to wear mask when I go out now.
> 
> but I've also heard myself that what we've been doing has worked so things are declining.


I was upset that she got mad at me like I committed a sin and was nitpicking me in front of people. My coworkers are such bullies but I'm in a better mood now.  I'm just going to shrug it off. It feels like harassment getting nitpicked like that cause I always think I'm going to get in trouble any time I have someone getting on to me.

And thank you. :squeeze Yea, I think we are supposed to wear masks but we're still not allowed to at my workplace. I noticed some people with masks they made themselves.


----------



## XebelRebel

Honestly, I have been experiencing mood swings between feeling like saving all the people I perceive and feeling like damning them.


----------



## caelle

covid and pet sematary are scary enough why does socal gotta do the rumbles and give me the shakies i need a break from life


----------



## harrison

lily said:


> Thank you harrison! You're so kind. So according to the news, you're able to go out together for a walk as long as you're in the same household and two meters away from everyone else. *I'll be praying for you!*


Thank you Lily.


----------



## bad baby

I just wanna bang my head against a hard surface and knock myself out cold. Why do I have to be so f-ing conscious?


----------



## Blue Dino

The feeling and the voice in my head that keeps telling me "everyone dislikes you all along, you annoy them!" Been getting worse and worse these few months. Its making making me more socially hesitant. But not to be so full of myself... so its also possible its just my self awareness seeing an increase. I hope it's temporary and I can return to the blissful ignorance mindset. It feels socially suffocating this way, but however it might actually be for the greater good.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Concern. My Family and I just made our survival backpacks due to this Conrnavirus. She always wanted to make one in the past just in case if we all have to run out the house. I honestly don't know where we are to go God forbids if something happens. We're on our own. This stuff is real: Natural Disasters and the government not helping the people. Especially in America. People think the government is going to help. If only they knew. Nobody is coming. You're on your own. This is a harsh reality. Those natural disaster movies are real. {It is to a point where I don't even want to watch them anymore.} God forbids if my Family and I are in the midst of it a catastrophic.


----------



## Replicante

Slow


----------



## The Linux Guy

Currently I'm watching a video that is causing me to feel stupid. Once again I wish I had a better brain.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I've been on here for so long that my back and neck is starting to tense up.


----------



## Sekiro

I_Exist said:


> I've been on here for so long that my back and neck is starting to tense up.


 My neck is just perpetually messed up. It's actually not too bad right now though...

I need to see one of them back cracker people.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Sekiro said:


> My neck is just perpetually messed up. It's actually not too bad right now though...
> 
> I need to see one of them back cracker people.


Maybe... There are things you can try.


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling pretty good right now. Life is good, I have the capacity to feel that, and I'm enjoying it right now.


----------



## harrison

Much better thanks - due to some chemical assistance.


----------



## funnynihilist

Tired of life. Being born is the ultimate curse.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good.


----------



## SpartanSaber

I feel good today


----------



## CNikki

Like I'm in a straitjacket and about to go ballistic in attempts to get out of it...

_Guess I broke the streak of people feeling good/optimistic...oops..._


----------



## funnynihilist

Bad


----------



## Crisigv

Who cares?


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> Bad


:squeeze


----------



## funnynihilist

SamanthaStrange said:


> :squeeze


:squeeze


----------



## andy1984

I feel pretty good today. when I was half asleep last night/this morning and I felt so I good I was thinking this is bliss. glorious again now that my anger is gone.


----------



## aqwsderf

andy1984 said:


> I feel pretty good today. when I was half asleep last night/this morning and I felt so I good I was thinking this is bliss. glorious again now that my anger is gone.


Glad the anger is gone &#128578;


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Like I'm in a straitjacket and about to go ballistic in attempts to get out of it...
> 
> _Guess I broke the streak of people feeling good/optimistic...oops..._


:squeeze


----------



## lily

Crisigv said:


> Who cares?


I do :squeeze

No one PM'd me back today. I feel bored but I'm glad I got my real fruit smoothie today


----------



## Crisigv

lily said:


> it's hard to form friendships on this site


It's very hard. So far, not many people have seemed to genuine to me. Thank you for the hugs.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Lonely.


----------



## lily

Crisigv said:


> It's very hard. So far, not many people have seemed to genuine to me. Thank you for the hugs.


You're welcome.


----------



## TheUnpredictable

Where I am, it's currently 6:08 pm on a Sunday. Although I love my job, I still get the Sunday evening blues occasionally when I think about the weekend ending. Not today! Since we've started working from home, it's almost as if everyday is some sort of weekend. I work but it's not the same as when I'm at work and expected to be sociable. So far, I like this setup.


----------



## lily

I still can't sleep for today like the other days. I want to socialize.


----------



## incapaz dseguir mintiendo

lily said:


> it's hard to form friendships on this site


Yeah, what a surprise. Shy people are always very distant and afraid of making ties and losing them.


----------



## Crisigv

Hurt


----------



## funnynihilist

Would like to go back to sleep but I feel kinda anxious


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm going to snap at someone at my job eventually that's being mean to me. Every single damn day since March, I've been having all the older adults bullying me and one younger person and I'm sick and tired of this. Why cant people just leave someone be? It's making my job extra stressful and I dont need this right now or ever.


----------



## Crisigv

headache, probably too much sun


----------



## funnynihilist

Crisigv said:


> headache, probably too much sun


Do some swimming?

I cut grass for the first time this year now my sinuses are bad.


----------



## Crisigv

funnynihilist said:


> Do some swimming?
> 
> I cut grass for the first time this year now my sinuses are bad.


Lol no, I don't have a pool. I went for a drive, had my roof open.


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

Low. I'm just so,so ready for things to get back to normal. It's hard not knowing when the end will be.


----------



## Kevin001

Kinda sick, stomach been killing me.


----------



## funnynihilist

Blah which is pretty much my only mood

Think I'm just bored with life.


----------



## lily

I can't wait until this COVID-19 thing is over.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

jbar48 said:


> This happened to me at a grocery store. If you snap they'll fire you for sure.
> 
> I don't know how to solve this.
> 
> Maybe they sense you're anxious and they just want to make you kill yourself or something.
> 
> It's a pagan barbarian complex that I've seen my whole life. They feel more unified that they all have a common victim. Kind of like Trump haters.
> 
> Id say you need to get used to it and consider it some sort of sick twisted compliment that they're giving you attention.
> 
> Or start looking for a better job right away.
> 
> Sent from my moto g(7) power using Tapatalk


It would be unfair to fire me when I'm a manager that gets yelled at by someone who works under me and she doesn't get fired and constantly plays games and acts passive aggressive through text. So yea, they ask for me to snap.That is 100 percent wrong. No wonder people that get bullied commit suicide. Then you have *******s tghat say they're selfish. or deserved it. And I completely dislike Trump. He is a horrible person.

A grocery store is my only chance of work right now. Pretty sure someone like me couldnt easily find a job anywhere else.

I'm in a very bitter mood today and I'm sick of people in general. I should eat my feelings.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> I can't wait until this COVID-19 thing is over.


:agree I'm getting bored with only getting out ma house once a day.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

More misanthropic than ever.


----------



## funnynihilist

SamanthaStrange said:


> More misanthropic than ever.


Me too :boogie


----------



## Crisigv

hopeless, worthless, angry


----------



## The Linux Guy

Feeling all alone,
gives me too much time,
to think about myself,
I would love to talk to you,
But you probably just think,
I'm a fool.


----------



## Crisigv

Another headache from crying and being in agony. I feel tortured.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

It's nice being able to open up to my oldest sister about the *******s at my job. Made me feel better. Never opened up to her about stuff like this and she said people in general are *******s. Even if it's just through text it makes me feel somewhat better.


----------



## kinsey

Could be better, could be worse. I'm normally in a more messy mental state than now, so for that I'm grateful.

Also, for this site for existing. I'm finding I'm liking being able to share stuff with you guys :squeeze


----------



## The Linux Guy

I'm feeling left out and unimportant.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Bit groggy and stuffy today. Getting better with time


----------



## discopotato

Angry.


----------



## The Linux Guy

discopotato said:


> Angry.


Why are you feeling Angry? :squeeze


----------



## discopotato

I_Exist said:


> Why are you feeling Angry? :squeeze


Too many evil potatoes in the world :b :squeeze


----------



## The Linux Guy

discopotato said:


> Too many evil potatoes in the world :b :squeeze


Just the green ones. :squeeze


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Excessively sensitive.


----------



## Sekiro

discopotato said:


> Too many evil potatoes in the world :b :squeeze


eat em


----------



## incapaz dseguir mintiendo

Haven't taken my 180mg caffeine energy drink today because I want to sleep better at night. The problem is it's 9am and I wanna take an all day nap. Got to stay awake because I have a call with my psychiatrist this morning. Overall this virus confinement hasn't changed anything about my lifestyle, I've stayed in my dark cave for the last 4 years after quitting uni.


----------



## Crisigv

very unhappy


----------



## CNikki

Little bit better than yesterday. The worries remain present but I'm trying not to 'go there' again.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Little bit better than yesterday. The worries remain present but I'm trying not to 'go there' again.


"hugs"


----------



## Musicfan

Pretty depressed. I haven't replied to my pen pals and I need the mental strength to do so.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Musicfan said:


> Pretty depressed. I haven't replied to my pen pals and I need the mental strength to do so.


 I hope you feel better soon.


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> "hugs"


Thank you.


----------



## Musicfan

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I hope you feel better soon.


Thanks man, you're a good dude Code Monkey.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Musicfan said:


> Thanks man, you're a good dude Code Monkey.


I try to be. Sometimes I end up making an enemy. But thanks.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Musicfan said:


> Pretty depressed. I haven't replied to my pen pals and I need the mental strength to do so.


I hope you will feel better. It is alright to not replied. Don't rush yourself. Take time for yourself


----------



## donistired

I'm tired. I think for the sake of my sanity, I need to consider using the vacation time I've built up at work soon. I wish today was the weekend. I need a break.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sluggish


----------



## Fun Spirit

A little sleepy.


----------



## funnynihilist

Blah as always.


----------



## copper

Tired. Stupid male cat kept coming in room and hitting the window with his paw. Glad I am working from home right now.


----------



## Elle Knight

PandaBearx said:


> Numb. Initially I signed up for therapy today. Which was good, it was supposed to be a positive step in the right direction. However I should've done research prior to laying down money for this. Apparently the site I signed up for has the right to disclose information to third parties? and while there's load of people who say it works, there's this_ whole _other side that says it's not HIPAA compliant yadayadayada and all these terrible things about this company. Needless to say I don't feel comfortable using it.
> 
> I didn't use the service at all so I'm hoping I can somehow by some miracle be refunded. So I reached out via email and am waiting for a response. It just feels a little soul crushing.


I'm sorry, but I hope the refund you your money. All these legit sites making it bad on others. I'm so paranoid to do most things online. It's like most persons nowadays arent genuine and they just wanna rip off others when money is so hard to come by.

Was it gonna be an online therapy? Whatever the answer is, do not give up. Try elsewhere and be careful. I hope you're staying safe during this pandemic.


----------



## Elle Knight

Sleepy. Tired. However today is public holiday and curfew starts at 3 and it’s really good because people need to stay inside and reflect on the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus (or if you’re not a believer) still stay home and rest or do something productive! Why do people always wanna party? Aint nothing better to do? Or stay inside and make babies haha (so much for social distancing)


----------



## PandaBearx

Elle Knight said:


> I'm sorry, but I hope the refund you your money. All these legit sites making it bad on others. I'm so paranoid to do most things online. It's like most persons nowadays arent genuine and they just wanna rip off others when money is so hard to come by.
> 
> Was it gonna be an online therapy? Whatever the answer is, do not give up. Try elsewhere and be careful. I hope you're staying safe during this pandemic.


Thank you and they were thankfully understanding, and immediately refunded me the money after I explained that I used none of the services provided. Which is good, I mean therapy in general is very anxiety inducing to me and then that situation happened haha. Moral of the story definitely do additional research prior to setting up an appointment. Not only did I use this service to find a therapist but the therapist they appointed me had two _entirely_ different names on two different sites which I found a little odd. I think I'll look around more once this blows over (hopefully soon) as I feel more comfortable in an office setting.

Hope you're staying safe as well!


----------



## Elle Knight

PandaBearx said:


> Elle Knight said:
> 
> 
> 
> I'm sorry, but I hope the refund you your money. All these legit sites making it bad on others. I'm so paranoid to do most things online. It's like most persons nowadays arent genuine and they just wanna rip off others when money is so hard to come by.
> 
> Was it gonna be an online therapy? Whatever the answer is, do not give up. Try elsewhere and be careful. I hope you're staying safe during this pandemic.
> 
> 
> 
> Thank you and they were thankfully understanding, and immediately refunded me the money after I explained that I used none of the services provided. Which is good, I mean therapy in general is very anxiety inducing to me and then that situation happened haha. Moral of the story definitely do additional research prior to setting up an appointment. Not only did I use this service to find a therapist but the therapist they appointed me had two _entirely_ different names on two different sites which I found a little odd. I think I'll look around more once this blows over (hopefully soon) as I feel more comfortable in an office setting.
> 
> Hope you're staying safe as well!
Click to expand...

Okay great. I'm glad for you. Yeah therapy is anxiety inducing but that's what it supposed to do. Anxiety has to be induced in order for exposure and that's where "rewiring the brain comes in" &#128578; an office setting is more effective too.

Thanks, I am trying but I still have to go to work so....


----------



## Elle Knight

Can I PM you? Or no? It’s okay


----------



## PandaBearx

Elle Knight said:


> Can I PM you? Or no? It's okay


Sure! whatever you're more comfortable with.


----------



## Crisigv

Dizzy. I guess I shouldn't have spun around in my desk chair. But I have nothing else going on.


----------



## funnynihilist

Crisigv said:


> Dizzy. I guess I shouldn't have spun around in my desk chair. But I have nothing else going on.


Cheaper than a bottle of Jack Daniels :teeth


----------



## aqwsderf

Feel like I'm gaining some perspective. 

After 3 months of no contact, I realize what I really miss is having someone care about me. Waiting to talk to me. Wondering how my day went. Wanting to make sure I'm safe. Just looking forward to hearing from me. But I think I only really got the illusion of that from him anyway.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A little bit down in the dumps tonight. Hopefully my second coffee will perk me back up again.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

aqwsderf said:


> Feel like I'm gaining some perspective.
> 
> After 3 months of no contact, I realize what I really miss is having someone care about me. Waiting to talk to me. Wondering how my day went. Wanting to make sure I'm safe. Just looking forward to hearing from me. But I think I only really got the illusion of that from him anyway.


3 months sounds long, but it's not a long time. But maybe you're a faster mover onner than I am.  
I think maybe this is the next phase of moving on: gaining perspective. You're making bits of progress and maybe not even realising it.

Are you always wondering what he's doing? Or have you kinda got rid of that aspect?

It's like that Gotye song: just somebody that you used to know. That's how I feel about her . I haven't "forgotton" about who or what existed.... but I think the emotional attachment is a lot less. I don't spend every waking hour thinking and craving. At least, consciously I don't. I hope it's not in the subconscious. Maybe it is.

This May, god, it'll be 5 years. The end of those 3.5 years. Jesus. 5 years is longer away from her than the time we spent "together" . I only just realized that typing this post. That's hard to believe and a bit sad ☹ OMG thats 8.5 years. Have they been a waste if my life.


----------



## Crisigv

funnynihilist said:


> Cheaper than a bottle of Jack Daniels :teeth


Yeah, I guess


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I'm so tired, I feel like I could go to bed already, and it's not even 9pm. :um


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Burnt out


----------



## aqwsderf

KILOBRAVO said:


> I think maybe this is the next phase of moving on: gaining perspective. You're making bits of progress and maybe not even realising it.
> 
> Are you always wondering what he's doing? Or have you kinda got rid of that aspect?
> 
> It's like that Gotye song: just somebody that you used to know. That's how I feel about her . I haven't "forgotton" about who or what existed.... but I think the emotional attachment is a lot less. I don't spend every waking hour thinking and craving. At least, consciously I don't. I hope it's not in the subconscious. Maybe it is.
> 
> This May, god, it'll be 5 years. The end of those 3.5 years. Jesus. 5 years is longer away from her than the time we spent "together" . I only just realized that typing this post. That's hard to believe and a bit sad ☹ OMG thats 8.5 years. Have they been a waste if my life.


I am not a fast mover onner lol. No I don't think about him nearly as much, but he does cross my mind at least once a day. Tbh it feels like part of me is afraid to let go completely. It doesn't feel like somebody I used to know quite yet. His presence is still pretty significant.

I don't want to say the time is wasted. Though it sometimes feels that way. But you learn something from it though? And that's how you mature and become better. Just sucks that you have to go through it to get to that point.


----------



## funnynihilist

SamanthaStrange said:


> I'm so tired, I feel like I could go to bed already, and it's not even 9pm. :um


That's darn early


----------



## Eric Narvaez

Bored. 

Sent from my SM-J260T1 using Tapatalk


----------



## funnynihilist

Blah

Bored

Burned out with screens and music

Bah! I'm drinking tonight, who's with me!?!?!?!?


----------



## firelight

Horny and depressed.


----------



## Elle Knight

My eyes are sore but I cant go back to sleep. I have chores to do today


----------



## Elle Knight

funnynihilist said:


> Blah
> 
> Bored
> 
> Burned out with screens and music
> 
> Bah! I'm drinking tonight, who's with me!?!?!?!?


I dont drink, sorry. Eating anything? If yes, then I'm in.


----------



## discopotato

Sekiro said:


> eat em


I already did mohaha


----------



## Sekiro

discopotato said:


> I already did mohaha


yesss yessssssssssssssssss


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Ugh.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and lonely. Many dark thoughts.


----------



## Sekiro

SamanthaStrange said:


> Ugh.


Eat some potatoes. It's what we're doing.


----------



## funnynihilist

Elle Knight said:


> I dont drink, sorry. Eating anything? If yes, then I'm in.


There is a joke could be made there but I shan't go there hehe


----------



## funnynihilist

I'm really tired. Had a nightmare that I just appeared in the middle of a very crowded mall and then it hit me that all these people are infected. And they were like inches away. So I was running through the crowd trying to get outside. And when I got outside it was crowded too.

Between the news and the weird movies I watch before bed my brain is not happy obviously.


----------



## aqwsderf

funnynihilist said:


> I'm really tired. Had a nightmare that I just appeared in the middle of a very crowded mall and then it hit me that all these people are infected. And they were like inches away. So I was running through the crowd trying to get outside. And when I got outside it was crowded too.
> 
> Between the news and the weird movies I watch before bed my brain is not happy obviously.


Too late. You too are infected. :c


----------



## funnynihilist

aqwsderf said:


> Too late. You too are infected. :c


Oh noes, say it ain't soes!


----------



## harrison

Feeling surprisingly good - don't know what happened there.

Looking forward to having a shave - haven't had one for about 4 or 5 days. I always like shaving after I haven't done it for a while - it reminds me of mowing the lawn, a nice clear line between where you have and you haven't.

I think it's important to find pleasure in the little things at the moment. :roll


----------



## lily

harrison said:


> Feeling surprisingly good - don't know what happened there.
> 
> Looking forward to having a shave - haven't had one for about 4 or 5 days. I always like shaving after I haven't done it for a while - it reminds me of mowing the lawn, a nice clear line between where you have and you haven't.
> 
> I think it's important to find pleasure in the little things at the moment. :roll


is it medication or did it just happen?


----------



## blue2

Stop talking about shaving it's been over a week, possibly 2 weeks & my face is going crazy with itchyness etc , I'm trying to grow a beard of wisdom.


----------



## aqwsderf

Sleepy and bored


----------



## blue2

aqwsderf said:


> Sleepy and bored


So what would make things not boring ?


----------



## harrison

lily said:


> is it medication or did it just happen?


It just happened Lily - my head does quite strange things sometimes.


----------



## Fun Spirit

terrified. Having a panic attack.


----------



## aqwsderf

blue2 said:


> So what would make things not boring ?


Eh idk :')

I drew something to entertain myself. Kinda worked


----------



## Crisigv

Alone


----------



## Elle Knight

funnynihilist said:


> Elle Knight said:
> 
> 
> 
> I dont drink, sorry. Eating anything? If yes, then I'm in.
> 
> 
> 
> There is a joke could be made there but I shan't go there hehe
Click to expand...

But why not? I wanna go there with you&#128514;


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sunshine Lady said:


> terrified. Having a panic attack.


:squeeze


----------



## zonebox

Pretty gewd! I have a belly filling up with rum, and I made a few people happy today. I love making people feel happy, I don't know why that is, but to know I put a smile on someones face does something for me. Not that it is not entirely selfish on my side, I mean, it is, I gain joy out of it. Still, I really like a lot of my fellow virtual citizens of the world, they are amazing  Now, I'm off to listen to a few people sing in this simulated world of ours, and join them in a dance or two.


It is the simple things for me, I tells ya.


----------



## harrison

Sunshine Lady said:


> terrified. Having a panic attack.


I hope it's gone away now.


----------



## komorikun

Okay. Bit inebriated. At least I went on a walk yesterday and today, so got some exercise and hit some stores.


----------



## lily

harrison said:


> It just happened Lily - my head does quite strange things sometimes.


it's a nice feeling being in peace. I'm not in peace right now. I noticed I have GAD. I've had 3 different kinds of anxiety. I'm experiencing the third kind. I'm feeling very anxious. it's such a terrible feeling, I'm so sad and unhappy about it :crying:



Sunshine Lady said:


> terrified. Having a panic attack.


I can relate in a way or something, in a somewhat different way if that's how I should say it



Crisigv said:


> Alone


:squeeze

Hope you 2 feel better soon


----------



## Elle Knight

I’m having a headache and it’s not even 5 am here.


----------



## aqwsderf

Annoyed that I've woken up at this time and I don't even have to work today. Why can't I just peacefully sleep for 12 hrs


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, mild headache


----------



## Fun Spirit

thanks....still shaken up. may god help me... seriously


----------



## funnynihilist

Second morning in a row that I woke up from a nightmare that left me feeling disoriented.


----------



## hayes

Content. I finally broke 2100 on lichess, this lock-down has given me so much time to practise.


----------



## harrison

lily said:


> it's a nice feeling being in peace. I'm not in peace right now. I noticed I have GAD. I've had 3 different kinds of anxiety. I'm experiencing the third kind. I'm feeling very anxious. it's such a terrible feeling, I'm so sad and unhappy about it :crying:


Hope you're feeling better soon Lily. I know that type of anxiety too - it's a terrible feeling. Sometimes I get really bad anxiety just on my own in my apartment here - even when there's no real reason, it just seems to come out of nowhere.

One of my old psychiatrists used to always ask me how I was sleeping - getting enough sleep and eating properly is very important.

I also heard on the BBC the other night this lady talking about the right type of breathing to do to ease anxiety - it's the sort of breathing where you breathe right down from your tummy and abdomen. Apparently that can help too. Of course I always give up and just take a Valium but that's probably not the best idea. :roll


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy, sad, another headache


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Moody. REALLY moody.


----------



## EndofSummer

I feel like this place would be much better with an active chat room.


----------



## lily

harrison said:


> Hope you're feeling better soon Lily. I know that type of anxiety too - it's a terrible feeling. Sometimes I get really bad anxiety just on my own in my apartment here - even when there's no real reason, it just seems to come out of nowhere.
> 
> One of my old psychiatrists used to always ask me how I was sleeping - getting enough sleep and eating properly is very important.
> 
> I also heard on the BBC the other night this lady talking about the right type of breathing to do to ease anxiety - it's the sort of breathing where you breathe right down from your tummy and abdomen. Apparently that can help too. Of course I always give up and just take a Valium but that's probably not the best idea. :roll


I'm glad you're feeling good, harrison!  I hope so too. When I was sleeping I think I was breathing right so I felt a lot better until after I got it bad enough again now. I'll be going to the spiritual section for one more update and that's it unless I feel totally better I can update again. I'm really sorry to hear that about having no real reason or no reason for having anxiety  but it's wonderful you're not feeling like that now. Thank you for the tips.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit better now that I’ve eaten


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Moody. REALLY moody.


:hug

Sorry you feel that way. Hopefully it lightens up soon.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> :hug
> 
> Sorry you feel that way. Hopefully it lightens up soon.


Thanks so much. :hug I am chatting with a certain woman on Discord right now which is helping.


----------



## Karsten

I'm so tired, but I can't sleep.


----------



## Velorrei

Karsten said:


> I'm so tired, but I can't sleep.


I wish I could help.


----------



## PandaBearx

Sleepy :yawn


----------



## Canadian Brotha

My knee is sore a **** still and I don’t have any herb to help with that currently


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Frustrated. Anxious. Depressed.


----------



## Crisigv

horrible


----------



## Karsten

Like I said too much.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feel refreshed after nappy but now thirsty as hell. 😒


----------



## Elle Knight

My eyes feel sore but I cant sleep *_*

I’m suffering from a slight chipped heart 😞


----------



## Graeme1988

Bloody awful. Tired, moody and lacking in energy. Ah just can’t be arsed doing anything. 

I haven’t really been able to get to sleep at night, either.


----------



## komorikun

Itchy. Red spot on left hand.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lonely


----------



## CharlieLizzie16

I feel sad.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm exhausted. That shopping trip took a lot out of me. And now I have another headache.


----------



## hayes




----------



## funnynihilist

I haven't been sleeping well


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Kind of blah today.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Today my hormones went out of control. Oh thanks Reddit for providing fuel to the fire.


----------



## funnynihilist

2:30 and I'm still awake


----------



## mt moyt

cabin fever


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## aqwsderf

I feel so anxious now. Kind of queasy. Maybe I should just nap when I get home


----------



## CNikki

Pissed.


----------



## Crisigv

heartbroken


----------



## aqwsderf

I was in such a happy mood yesterday 

Today it's the opposite 😩


----------



## harrison

Fairly even which is nice for a change. Just have to try and find a way to keep occupied during this lockdown.


----------



## funnynihilist

I'm in a bad mood. Worse than my usual daily bad mood.


----------



## riverbird

Exhausted, overwhelmed, unwanted, disposable. All the bad things.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hopeless.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Really pissed off.


----------



## DeliveryDude

Drinking more during the lockdown. My day is work, dog park, TV show, browse the net, sleep. Feeling empty.

Also feeling annoyed at my parents. I know they are dealing with the same genetics as me, but it still annoys me to no end.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I woke up too early again, and I'm not feeling well.


----------



## PandaBearx

Relieved 🙌🏻 that I don’t have to worry about that anatomy test anymore. It’s done and I breezed though it. So much studying & stress. I can’t wait to actually sleep.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Fairly even which is nice for a change. Just have to try and find a way to keep occupied during this lockdown.


That's great to hear! I hope you have been doing well for the last while, are the heat waves over at least over? We got lockdown here till at least the end of April (maybe longer if they decide), I hope this crazy stuff is all over soon.


----------



## Crisigv

Meaningless to everyone


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kind of annoyed. Woman called in sick and I might have to end up working 7 days a week now. No one else has to work 7 days a week, not even my boss. And no one had to even when it was really busy. I'd like to have at least 2 days off a week. Other woman told me she wont come in to work for her if she can't come. Guess I'll be the only one to have to put up with this. Everyone else gets backup workers but me cause they always have someone that will come in. 

I need a 2 dollar raise for this if it ends up happening but it's doubtful.


----------



## funnynihilist

Blah, it's like groundhog day. Living the same day over and over. Of course it was also like this before the virus.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> Blah, it's like groundhog day. Living the same day over and over. Of course it was also like this before the virus.


Same. :squeeze


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> That's great to hear! I hope you have been doing well for the last while, are the heat waves over at least over? We got lockdown here till at least the end of April (maybe longer if they decide), I hope this crazy stuff is all over soon.


Yeah, we'll be coming into winter soon - starting to cool down already.  Just trying not to go crazy here with the lockdown too - our's will be for quite a while yet, then they'll start tracing people etc.

Hope you're doing okay over there and that it's not too bad where you are. Stay safe mate.


----------



## funnynihilist

Heartburn, sinus issues, tired, depressed


----------



## funnynihilist

SamanthaStrange said:


> Same. :squeeze


:hug


----------



## PandaBearx

Run down


----------



## thomasjune

Worried
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## lily

I'm feeling a lot better so far. I hope I'm surely better or at least good enough to go


----------



## lily

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Kind of annoyed. Woman called in sick and I might have to end up working 7 days a week now. No one else has to work 7 days a week, not even my boss. And no one had to even when it was really busy. I'd like to have at least 2 days off a week. Other woman told me she wont come in to work for her if she can't come. Guess I'll be the only one to have to put up with this. Everyone else gets backup workers but me cause they always have someone that will come in.
> 
> I need a 2 dollar raise for this if it ends up happening but it's doubtful.


You should probably try to complain about it to someone. :hug


----------



## thomasjune

I saw your quote before you deleted it.
 Just worried about my mom and other family members. Hope things are going good for you.☺
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## funnynihilist

Bored with everything.


----------



## funnynihilist

Awake


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Better after chatting and hanging out with a certain woman on here.


----------



## lily

thomasjune said:


> I saw your quote before you deleted it.
> Just worried about my mom and other family members. Hope things are going good for you.☺
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sorry I didn't think I could handle troubles right now yet so I deleted it. Wish you well! 
Do your best and God will do the rest, hope that's helpful.
Whatever you can't handle, pray that God will help you.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> You should probably try to complain about it to someone. :hug


It never does any good. I tried it. It doesnt work. So I dont see the point.  My boss is a bully so I know she wont do anything even though one of my workers yelled right at me in front of her. They're all psychopaths.

They're going to. end up overworking me like I'm a slave.


----------



## aqwsderf

Warm and fuzzy 😊


----------



## Crisigv

Probably the worst headache yet, and it's in the morning. Wonderful.


----------



## thomasjune

lily said:


> Sorry I didn't think I could handle troubles right now yet so I deleted it. Wish you well!
> Do your best and God will do the rest, hope that's helpful.
> Whatever you can't handle, pray that God will help you.


Thanks. Wish you well too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## komorikun

Slight hangover from the red wine last night. Otherwise happy that I'm taking the day off from work. Looking forward to my package coming today. UPS. They never ring my intercom, they just leave it but whatever. I just check the tracking obsessively throughout the day.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Very pissed off. When I got home from work on a day I was supposed to have off I tried to unlock the door and the ****ing bottom lock was locked. There was literally no reason to lock the bottom one and I only locked the top one so I'm ****ing stuck doing nothing with low charge on my goddamn phone cause. of this crap. Wouldnt doubt it got locked on purpose. I hate people.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I'm looking into doing Uber Eats for a little extra side money for gaming, and saving, so that has me kind of excited. I would make my own hours, be my own boss, and I have the perfect car for it too, 50mpg. If I could get $100 a week, that would be pretty sweet.


----------



## funnynihilist

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Very pissed off. When I got home from work on a day I was supposed to have off I tried to unlock the door and the ****ing bottom lock was locked. There was literally no reason to lock the bottom one and I only locked the top one so I'm ****ing stuck doing nothing with low charge on my goddamn phone cause. of this crap. Wouldnt doubt it got locked on purpose. I hate people.


Can't break in somehow?


----------



## funnynihilist

I'm feeling bitter and angry, but that's nothing new


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

funnynihilist said:


> Can't break in somehow?


I really dont know how. I jumped over the gate to see if the back door was unlocked but nope. Not this time. And it's hot as hell out here. I really am getting desperate to the point where I just need to go in a store and cool off. Im sweating on my face and neck and all over. I'm inept at breaking into the house. I could use a knife when I get back if no one is still there but not sure how causevyoud have to do it a certain way.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I'm feeling,
Like I need healing,
But who cares,
Don't you know that life isn't fair?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

funnynihilist said:


> I'm feeling bitter and angry, but that's nothing new


I've been feeling like this the past few weeks. :sigh


----------



## blue2

PurplePeopleEater said:


> funnynihilist said:
> 
> 
> 
> Can't break in somehow?
> 
> 
> 
> I really dont know how.
Click to expand...

Open Window ?


----------



## hateliving

depressed and hurt


----------



## harrison

Woke up in a panic. Jesus Christ I hate that feeling. Plus there's no one to talk at/to about it - too early to call my wife.

One day it might be necessary to get a new live-in person to deal with situations like this. They'd need to be pretty patient though. (either that or heavily medicated) :roll


----------



## funnynihilist

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I've been feeling like this the past few weeks. :sigh


Been a solid decade for me, but give it time, you'll get there :teeth


----------



## The Linux Guy

I'm always loosing you.
As my heart becomes attach,
You pull the latch,
Out it falls,
Once again,
Throw it into the garbage bin.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

funnynihilist said:


> Been a solid decade for me, but give it time, you'll get there :teeth


Geez, I hope not. Then I'll have to end it. lol


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

blue2 said:


> Open Window ?


Door was unlocked when I got back home. I didnt think about windows but dont think I'd be able to either reach them or get in through them. I was gone for 3 hours. Had a miserable day. &#128530;


----------



## PF123

headache and sad


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Sniffly and despondent.


----------



## The Linux Guy

If you think you know what hopeless is,
What until you go past 40.
Look at yourself,
Are you stuck in the same place?
That's Hopeless.


----------



## Crisigv

i'm longing for someone


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Cramps. Bored. Lonely.


----------



## harrison

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> *Sniffly* and despondent.


Any fever or persistent cough?

Just stay home mate - and exercise social distancing please.


----------



## MCHB

I behaved all week...so I'm getting drunk! :3


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

harrison said:


> Any fever or persistent cough?
> 
> Just stay home mate - and exercise social distancing please.


No fever at all, but thanks for your support mate


----------



## EndofSummer

Like theres plenty to do, and most of us can't do it.


----------



## zonebox

Due to my capacity to escape into fantasy worlds, which I will say is rather spectacular, I had an amazing day. I did a variety of things today, I spent a lot of time figuring out how things work, daydreaming solutions of how to fix things, contemplating various scenarios. Hours upon hours of it, and I loved almost every moment of it.

As far as the mundane world, I woke up late, cleaned the house, made food, and sat at my computer. Not very awe-inspiring, but my life in this world, is not what keeps me going. In fact, I find the mundane reality of life to be pretty damned depressing and if I had to spend significant time there, I would probably be miserable.

I wish I could teach others how to do this, but I've had a lifetime of experience doing this.


----------



## Shawn81

Losing it.


----------



## funnynihilist

Thinking about how so many people are more lucky than I am and how I've had their luck shoved in my face for years.


----------



## XebelRebel




----------



## Suchness

Like Im still waking up.


----------



## CNikki

Randomly in tears. I surprise myself sometimes that one minute I'm just in my zombie-like state self, then I'll either laugh (or else I'd cry), or I'd...well, cry...


----------



## Sekiro

I just woke up after sleeping for ten hours.


I'm not sure what the **** I did but I feel pretty well rested... *eyes suspiciously at kava tea mug on desk*


----------



## funnynihilist

Not great


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I feel very bad today, physically and emotionally. Headache, stomach ache, cramps, sinus issues. Depressed, anxious, agitated, moody. :bah :cry


----------



## tehuti88

Like the worthless trash who doesn't contribute anything useful to society that I really am.

It's always useful to get outside confirmation of one's feelings. Especially from people I look up to and respect.


----------



## Replicante

Bored


----------



## zonebox

@tehuti88

You are not worthless trash that contributes nothing. You don't need to put that burden on yourself, as though you owe it to others, it does not benefit them or yourself. You contribute what you are capable of doing, and that is enough, not that there is a scale to deem our worthiness regardless. But I don't see you going out of your way to harm others, to cause them misery, which to me is far more of a contribution to society than one might think.

I mean that. You should not feel guilty over things you have no control over, it is not your fault and you should not be held to be responsible for providing more than you are capable of doing.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Randomly in tears. I surprise myself sometimes that one minute I'm just in my zombie-like state self, then I'll either laugh (or else I'd cry), or I'd...well, cry...





SamanthaStrange said:


> I feel very bad today, physically and emotionally. Headache, stomach ache, cramps, sinus issues. Depressed, anxious, agitated, moody. :bah :cry





tehuti88 said:


> Like the worthless trash who doesn't contribute anything useful to society that I really am.
> 
> It's always useful to get outside confirmation of one's feelings. Especially from people I look up to and respect.


No, no, and no "hugs"


----------



## XebelRebel

You are not trash, tehuti88.


----------



## The Linux Guy

tehuti88 said:


> Like the worthless trash who doesn't contribute anything useful to society that I really am.
> 
> It's always useful to get outside confirmation of one's feelings. Especially from people I look up to and respect.


I'm the new piece of Garbage.


----------



## funnynihilist

Yuck


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Born Useless said:


> I'm the new piece of Garbage.


No you are not.


----------



## WillYouStopDave




----------



## The Linux Guy

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> No you are not.


Your kind to say that.  But life evidence seems to be telling me I am.


----------



## tehuti88

Born Useless said:


> I'm the new piece of Garbage.


I've been garbage since before you were born.


----------



## The Linux Guy

tehuti88 said:


> I've been garbage since before you were born.


Your only 3 years older then me.


----------



## funnynihilist

I've been garbage longer than all of ya!


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I been IN tha gahbage and found some well-preserved french fries that just needed some microwaves.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

WillYouStopDave said:


> I been IN tha gahbage and found some well-preserved french fries that just needed some microwaves.


:grin2:


----------



## blue2

I prefer to be called rubbish.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Me and my boyfriend Oscar have been living in the trash for years.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling very down


----------



## Fun Spirit

I wish everyone will feel better


----------



## harrison

I'm just glad I woke up. Man, my dream life has been pretty exhausting lately. I wonder where all this crap is coming from.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, having fun with a certain Australian woman on here.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Frustrated. Hopeless.


----------



## aqwsderf

I have to do something new for work this afternoon and I'm pretty anxious about it 🙄


----------



## KILOBRAVO

aqwsderf said:


> I have to do something new for work this afternoon and I'm pretty anxious about it &#128580;


What is it you have to do? You'll be fineeeee..... .

Smash it! . Just report back later when you've, emm smashed it.


----------



## aqwsderf

KILOBRAVO said:


> What is it you have to do? You'll be fineeeee..... .
> 
> Smash it! . Just report back later when you've, emm smashed it.


I had to go to someone's house and talk to their family. Luckily I went with one of my most talkative coworkers. She pretty much took the lead. Phew &#128578;


----------



## harrison

Bored and sort of numb. At least I'm not panicking like before. 

Just have to wait this out.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm tired. And not physically. I want the end to come.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Sad, heartbroken. I love my family so much and yet my relationship with them is over. Sad to know because I'm always mentioning them here. I really want my own place.


----------



## TinyFlutter

Not the best day overall, I woke up hearing news of the mass shooting in Nova Scotia, and then I witnessed a person having a violent seizure on the bus today.


----------



## caelle

I'm not sure. I feel weird. I'm not happy, I'm not sad, I'm not lonely. I feel like I need chocolate to help me feel clearly


----------



## Fun Spirit

Miserable.


----------



## KILOBRAVO

aqwsderf said:


> I had to go to someone's house and talk to their family. Luckily I went with one of my most talkative coworkers. She pretty much took the lead. Phew &#128578;


See? So I turned out better than you thought.  And now if you have to do that again, it won't be so bad. It was sent to try you, and you passed.


----------



## lily

TinyFlutter said:


> Not the best day overall, I woke up hearing news of the mass shooting in Nova Scotia, and then I witnessed a person having a violent seizure on the bus today.


Aw..  :squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

Hopeless, worthless and suicidal


----------



## The Linux Guy

Crisigv said:


> Hopeless, worthless and suicidal


:squeeze Maybe your spending too much time online?


----------



## Graeme1988

Exhausted. Just total drained from looking after my mother yesterday. Am happy to do it, but, ah just wish we moved out and into a bungalow. It gets tiresome having to rush a flight I’ downstairs every time my Mum yells for me, and tells me to hurry up.

Aside from that, I’m really bored.


----------



## CNikki

Disheartened.


----------



## aqwsderf

KILOBRAVO said:


> See? So I turned out better than you thought.  And now if you have to do that again, it won't be so bad. It was sent to try you, and you passed.


I guess! I dont think I could do it on my own. But I'm still replaying it in my head. Like what I said or didn't say. How I came cross as. I went from pre-anxiety to post-anxiety lol


----------



## Lyssia

Anxious over a silly work miscommunication. It's no big deal! Why must I fret over this?


----------



## Elle Knight

My legs hurt. I need a massage!!


----------



## lily

I wish to have as meaningful and as enjoyable of a time during this difficult time.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm in agony


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Uncomfortable.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Crisigv said:


> I'm in agony


:squeeze 
@iAmCodeMonkey  Sorry to hear.


----------



## IcedOver

Just not feeling too great.


----------



## Elle Knight

Like I am losing interest in everything and everyone. Again! Ugh!


----------



## funnynihilist

In bed with a headache. Don't feel too great.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Stress. Tired. I just want things to get better. Its been so long.


----------



## aqwsderf

Floating on clouds, afraid to fall


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Mentally exhausted.


----------



## D'avjo

aqwsderf said:


> Floating on clouds, afraid to fall


"when we stop taking risks, we stop living life"


----------



## PandaBearx

Melancholy


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling alright. I have close to 3,000 saved up so things aren't completely bad for me. And I got paid back some of my money I loaned. Thought I wouldnt get paid back cause there was still 40 dollars I was owed that I never got paid back.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely


----------



## harrison

Pretty good thanks. But I'm not happy with these bloody corn chips - the other ones are better.


----------



## Blue Dino

harrison said:


> Pretty good thanks. But I'm not happy with these bloody corn chips - the other ones are better.


This just reminds my craving for spicy corn chips. Unforunately the store I normally get them from is closed due to the virus.


----------



## harrison

Blue Dino said:


> This just reminds my craving for *spicy corn chips. *Unforunately the store I normally get them from is closed due to the virus.


Sounds nice. I tried some that were sort of spicy a while ago but now I just get plain ones and have them with a mild salsa sauce.

I got my shopping online today and ordered a different brand - not as good. I was pretty happy with the whole ordering online thing though - didn't even have to leave my building.


----------



## discopotato

like worthless garbage.


----------



## harrison

discopotato said:


> like worthless garbage.


You're not. I hope you feel a bit better soon.


----------



## The Linux Guy

discopotato said:


> like worthless garbage.


I didn't see this until now.  I don't believe that your worthless garbage. I can name things I like about you.


----------



## CNikki

Didn't want to wake up again today. Only done so for my job (I'm working at home.) Might go back to sleep since I'm not going to continue tolerating this.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Woke up with a headache.


----------



## lily

TinyFlutter said:


> I have been feeling this way lately too, I want to make the most of this downtime and hopefully come out on the other side of it in a positive way .
> 
> Some goals of mines are starting a daily exercise routine again, eating healthier meals, and practicing meditation to help with anxiety.


^great goals! Wish you well!


----------



## discopotato

harrison said:


> You're not. I hope you feel a bit better soon.





Born Useless said:


> I didn't see this until now.  I don't believe that your worthless garbage. I can name things I like about you.


Thanks guys.
:squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

I'm crushed. The love of my life tells me his new girlfriend is coming to spend the weekend.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Crisigv said:


> I'm crushed. The love of my life tells me his new girlfriend is coming to spend the weekend.


The Love of your life: Is He an online love?


----------



## Crisigv

Born Useless said:


> The Love of your life: Is He an online love?


Not a conversation I'm having. I just need someone on my life who is serious about me. My loyalty seems to always bite me in the ***. I'm too emotional.


----------



## Blue Dino

harrison said:


> I got my shopping online today and ordered a different brand - not as good. I was pretty happy with the whole ordering online thing though - didn't even have to leave my building.


Aside from energy bars, I think I've only ordered food and perishables online maybe once or twice. I might order a box of hot cocoa packets from amazon since they are cheaper there.


----------



## fluorish

Crisigv said:


> I'm crushed. The love of my life tells me his new girlfriend is coming to spend the weekend.


That's realy hard to deal with. I can't imagin sorry your going through that.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Some combination of anxious, depressed, hopeless, and bored.


----------



## PandaBearx

Disconnected


----------



## funnynihilist

Blech


----------



## shouldeyefallbehind

I have been feeling okay for the most part this week, and then I watched a scene from a movie. It made me think about how much I have in common with the main character. About being ridiculed condemed by my peer. Ostracised, about how much crap I have had to wade through from a very early age. It got me feeling sad. So, logged onto this site just to vent. 


So the terrified boy returns as a man.

I have come for your help.

We are in need of swords.

Then take it.

These swords were forged to

defend us against the hatred of men.

Men who persecuted us for our beliefs.

The same men who despise you

for being different.

And now you're here to help them.

They are good men.

Their cause is just.

Many come for our steel,

but none return.

You told him not to draw his sword.

If he does,

he and all his men will die.

Was it worth it?

What you found in the outside world?

The love of a woman you can never have?

Yes.

Let me tell you of love, Kai.

The love of one night

that brought you into this world.

An English sailor and a peasant girl.

Your loving mother

abandoned you to die in these woods.

A monster, a half-breed child.

Yet we found you,

accepted you, trained you.

We taught you many things.

But you fled

and you turned your back on those gifts.

Gifts of death.

No matter what you do,

Mika will never be yours in this life.


----------



## komorikun

Caffeine withdrawal headache. Not hangover this time. Haven't had a drink in a week after several weeks of drinking like a fish.

Finally managed to get myself out of bed at noon but my head/brain gets upset if it doesn't get the caffeine fix by 10am.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Right now, not good. :/


----------



## Crisigv

Horrible *in my head I said that with an obnoxious French accent*


----------



## harrison

Blue Dino said:


> Aside from energy bars, I think I've only ordered food and perishables online maybe once or twice. I might order a box of hot cocoa packets from amazon since they are cheaper there.


Apparently our supermarkets here have employed about 10 thousand extra people or something to deal with all the extra online orders. I saw a thing on TV about a lot of the air-hostesses getting a job with them because one of our airlines had to stand a lot of people down due to the virus. (Mind you, I was hoping one of them would bring me my delivery - but they must have been busy doing something else.) 

I was very happy with the whole delivery thing though. I told my wife and she immeditiately downloaded the app and ordered a whole pile of stuff too. The cold stuff was all fine - I think they bring it in a refrigerated van or something. I think I'll be using them from now on - even after all this is over.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> :squeeze it's boring for me now


:squeeze I feel okayish now. Yea, it's getting boring with this quarantine.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Like I wanna eat all the ice cream. But then I'll be sad, because I'll be out of ice cream. It's quite the conundrum.


----------



## Nitrogen

Mind-numbingly bored. Had an interview a week and a half ago and got the rejection call yesterday. Feeling at a loss still. Envious of people who can use this downtime/quarantine to better themselves or invest in their hobbies/interests, since I can barely stay focused on anything these days and it's making time move so incredibly slow and it's making me feel not great. I have no motivation to write, draw, investigate, watch shows, listen to music, yet alone explore a new interest or get into something I would like to explore more since I have hardly any energy. All I do these days is wake up, go for a short walk, play the same videogame, and browse online until my eyes are tired from all of it and just drift off. Oddly reminiscent of how I would spend my days when I was a housebound, deeply anxious teenager, and it's not making me feel relieved at all.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

SamanthaStrange said:


> Like I wanna eat all the ice cream. But then I'll be sad, because I'll be out of ice cream. It's quite the conundrum.


This makes me think of that S'mores icecream and cinnamon toast crunch icecream I've gotten before. It's too good. &#129301;


----------



## Velorrei

Better and still getting better.


----------



## Suchness

Velorrei said:


> Better and still getting better.


That's good Christine.


----------



## Velorrei

Suchness said:


> That's good Christine.


Nando, how are you?


----------



## Suchness

Velorrei said:


> Nando, how are you?


Better and still getting better.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Bloated


----------



## Fun Spirit

I hope everyone will feel good. Stay strong.


----------



## Crisigv

Shakey


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Blah.

Also, I opened a window, and now I'm chilly. :bah


----------



## funnynihilist

SamanthaStrange said:


> Blah.
> 
> Also, I opened a window, and now I'm chilly. :bah


Close that window! These days who knows what's gonna come in.


----------



## aqwsderf

I'm in a pretty good mood right now 😊


----------



## Replicante

I'm ok


----------



## IcedOver

I'm disappointed that I haven't used this time at home to get anything done. That includes tasks around the home that desperately need done as well as something as trivial as trying to catch up on several shows I've let slide. I've been doing my job from home but keep getting distracted. I think every night for the past week plus has resulted in my slouching over on my couch between midnight and 2:00 a.m. and telling myself that it would just be for fifteen minutes while I rest, then I'd get up and actually go to bed. Then I wake up about 6:30-7:00 a.m. and actually go to bed for more extra hours than I should.


----------



## Crisigv

I don't want to cry anymore.


----------



## Suchness

aqwsderf said:


> I'm in a pretty good mood right now &#128522;


That's good Jack.


----------



## aqwsderf

Suchness said:


> That's good Jack.


----------



## Suchness

aqwsderf said:


>


----------



## aqwsderf

Suchness said:


>


----------



## Suchness

aqwsderf said:


>


----------



## aqwsderf

Suchness said:


>


----------



## CNikki

Not sure if it's anxiety or something else... Probably is since it's a Sunday night.


----------



## Velorrei

Suchness said:


>


----------



## Suchness

Velorrei said:


>


----------



## funnynihilist

Everything is so tiring


----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

I keep buying rose wine but it's like drinking water. It doesn't get me drunk or even tipsy. I'm so pissed. I just want to be drunk. I guess I'll have to buy gin but it's expensive.


----------



## funnynihilist

Cool Ice Dude55 said:


> I keep buying rose wine but it's like drinking water. It doesn't get me drunk or even tipsy. I'm so pissed. I just want to be drunk. I guess I'll have to buy gin but it's expensive.


You need moonshine :teeth


----------



## PF123

Tired. Lost. Confused.


----------



## funnynihilist

The pleasures are seldom and few


----------



## Sekiro

I found a fantastic friend and I'm really happy about it.


----------



## funnynihilist

Weary


----------



## fluorish

Trying to stay afloat there’s so many things going wrong


----------



## Crisigv

I'm out of breath, I'm only sitting down eating breakfast.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Unwell.


----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

funnynihilist said:


> You need moonshine :teeth


good suggestion!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I feel a headache coming on. Also, my anxiety kinda drained me. Taking an Ibuprofen. 😒


----------



## blue2

Was going crazy :eyes... but got some ye-yo to settle the nerves now I'm fine 🙂


----------



## zonebox

Started my first day with Uber eats, it was pretty fun and easy-going. I only did two deliveries but made $18 - that is pretty good considering I was only logged in for an hour and twenty minutes. So I'm feeling especially good right now, it is nice to have a little spending money.


----------



## aqwsderf

Sometimes I wish I could disappear


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

@lily Yea, the weather here was pretty windy and felt good. Not sure how it is where you live. Sorry to hear things have been rough for you. I think it's supposed to end some time in May so hopefully you can go back to doing things. My headache went away after I took my Ibuprifen then I took a nap cause I needed one.


----------



## Davlew

Feeling good! Anyone know how to change password? It’s D’avjo and the one auto generated didn’t work


----------



## Care2018

I feel so nervous lately


----------



## Davlew

lily said:


> That's great  in May would be nice but I don't know if it's wise.
> 
> how come you're called Davlew now? I like D'avjo


Hi Lily, this will be a temp one. Had password issues . On my cell phone and can't seem to find the change password page despite having the link. Daughter has pinched my laptop!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Davlew said:


> Feeling good! Anyone know how to change password? It's D'avjo and the one auto generated didn't work


 @Silent Memory might know. It's been forever since I did it and all I remember about it is that it was not a smooth process.
@Helena_SAS


----------



## Davlew

WillYouStopDave said:


> @Silent Memory might know. It's been forever since I did it and all I remember about it is that it was not a smooth process.


Thanks Dave, have pinged her a message
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## twitchy666

*different worlds*

we not all same

not all in common

world of politicians
police
paramedic
lawyer
sports, dance, sing, smile, giggle
music
billionaire
celebrity
royal

99% not my world, who all succeed, unlike my 1% world are stupidest, slowwesst, who know nothing, do nothing, but all gain majesty, not understanding anything, just heavenly addicted to all humans they worship & praise, but me only scorn & hate


----------



## Sekiro

Sleepy, but not as sleepy as some hmm.....


----------



## caelle

Tired! I slept bad it felt too warm and humid yucky weather


----------



## D'avjo

WillYouStopDave said:


> @*Silent Memory* might know. It's been forever since I did it and all I remember about it is that it was not a smooth process.
> @*Helena_SAS*


Dave, its ok, fixed it now, thanks for your help


----------



## WillYouStopDave

D'avjo said:


> Dave, its ok, fixed it now, thanks for your help


 Cool. YW.


----------



## Lohikaarme

The whole of 2020 so far feels like a bad fever dream.


----------



## funnynihilist

Feeling bad


----------



## Karsten

funnynihilist said:


> Feeling bad


I'm sorry, goat. I hope you can find a way to feel better as the day goes on.


----------



## funnynihilist

Karsten said:


> I'm sorry, goat. I hope you can find a way to feel better as the day goes on.


Thanks Karsty.
A good part of it is that I did not sleep well last night.


----------



## CNikki

A bit impatient. Just love it when you're pretty much told all of your life that 'being punctual' is important and professional, yet it can come from the very same people who take their sweet time getting back to you for anything.

Keep saying to screw it, but I'm just dumb and become a sucker anyway.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Unsubscribed from all subreddits that have been making me feel dejected and hopeless after going through them lately. Cleansing your feeds feels really great


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Upset


----------



## funnynihilist

Can't see myself ever being in a good mood again


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> Can't see myself ever being in a good mood again


----------



## Suchness

Didn't get enough sleep but I'm feeling pretty strong, ready to crush it today.


----------



## blue2

Gonna die 😞... The extra flowers will be a plus though :yes


----------



## harrison

Very bored actually.

I wonder when the states start to open up a bit more if they'll let me go somewhere nice and warm with a beach - like Darwin or even Broome.


----------



## Velorrei

Suchness said:


> Didn't get enough sleep but I'm feeling pretty strong, ready to crush it today.


You'll sleep good tonight after I'm done with you.


----------



## Suchness

Velorrei said:


> You'll sleep good tonight after I'm done with you.


Oh oh!


----------



## XebelRebel

I'm glad that I can think about my ex-girlfriend again without feeling unhappy. The bad memories of her are not painful to recall anymore; the good memories of her I feel genuinely happy to remember.

I said that I still love her -- which is not wrong -- but I am also free of her in another sense. I don't feel that I need my ex-girlfriend anymore. I hope that I will see her again, but I am OK on my own.

Gone are the days of avoiding my formerly beloved Tintin stories in case they make me cry. I don't feel it to be necessary anymore that an expletive prefix is attached to the word "Belgians". Yesterday I even had French fries with a big dollop of mayonnaise for my dinner -- along with a pair of vegan beef burgers.

I also viewed a Miranda July movie! The DVD had been still in its plastic wrap for the previous five years, at least. Wow! I am doing *so* well! :lol

My ex-girlfriend said that Miranda July is her favourite film director/actress, so I bought two of her movies on DVD.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Future_(film)

It's a weird movie but I enjoyed most of it.


----------



## Mik3

More alone than ever.. it's hard to explain to people that even though I live with people I'm very alone.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Thought I was going to puke earlier cause I had acid reflux and didn't feel good for a few minutes. 🤢 But I feel better now. I guess it was the food I cooked. lol That would've been something. Puking from my own food I cooked.


----------



## komorikun

Kind of spooked. Went for a walk rather late at night. Would have gone earlier but it was raining until evening and then the forecast said it was likely to rain. Saw a couple mildly creepy people on my walk. One lady sounded drunk and angry and was walking sort of in the same direction when I got close to my house. Eeeks. Might have been a homeless. Only 1 cat was out and that's it. Usually Saturdays are the best days for petting kitties. The crappy weather earlier in the day probably kept them all inside. Wasn't cold but it was a bit windy and very dark. Not a nice vibe tonight. 

Conversation on the phone with my dad today didn't end well. I brought up something about kids and truancy which started him to go on and on about how I caused him so many problems when I refused to go to school. So I was like that was nearly 3 decades ago, are you still going to hold a grudge about what I did as a teen? Then he started going on how me and my sister aren't grateful for his wonderful parenting and generosity. Ugh. 

I'll admit that I cut him off all the time now on the phone because he repeats stories 80 zillion times. Nasty unpleasant negative stories often too. So today I repeated one of my stories about work for maybe the 3rd time or so. That caused him to start going on the attack saying that I repeat myself too, so I shouldn't cut him off all the time. Then I said something vague about how he was sick of hearing Ann's stories. He got all super defensive about that and started in on more insults something to do with me being an old maid and don't understand relationships. I wasn't even attacking him, or anything but he's suuuuuper defensive and paranoid. OMG. And it is just getting worse in old age. And his horrible conspiracy theories are becoming like his new religion. It's like he's a born-again Christian only it's worse. Usually at least there is some part of church where they want to help the community or something. But with him it's just pure hate and paranoia. Full of racism and sexism and all sorts of crazy "oh the government created this virus, so that it can control the populace."


----------



## hateliving

Like i'm dying.


----------



## aqwsderf

Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve good things.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Annoyed, depressed, anxious, lonely, and hopeless.


----------



## Citrine79

Mik3 said:


> More alone than ever.. it's hard to explain to people that even though I live with people I'm very alone.


This is very true for me as well. I am having a rough go of it lately with no one (other than my therapist) to talk to. I wasn't doing well to begin with and now...ugh...total trainwreck. I have never been more hopeless.


----------



## tehuti88

Phlegmier than usual, and have a slight headache, neither of which is too unusual, but my throat seems to feel a tad sore. I hope I'm just imagining it.


----------



## blue2

Like death warmed over with maggot eyes :rain


----------



## harrison

aqwsderf said:


> Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve good things.


Come on now - we all deserve good things. (especially me)

So just send them over here if you don't want them. :O


----------



## aqwsderf

harrison said:


> Come on now - we all deserve good things. (especially me)
> 
> So just send them over here if you don't want them. /forum/images/SAS_2015/smilies/tango_face_surprise.png


Nooo I think I'll keep it and just work on perspective lol


----------



## harrison

aqwsderf said:


> Nooo I think I'll keep it and just work on perspective lol


Sounds like a good idea.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless $ ashamed


----------



## fluorish

Bad I was waiting for two life changing events to be in my favour today and both of them turned out negative. I can’t win in life


----------



## kesker

****tled.


----------



## funnynihilist

I'm wearing my last clean pair of underwear right now. Looks like the quarantine has made me feel lazy(ier).

(And why do they call it pair of underwear? It's one whole unit. It's not like shoes that are two separate things.)


----------



## komorikun

funnynihilist said:


> I'm wearing my last clean pair of underwear right now. Looks like the quarantine has made me feel lazy(ier).
> 
> (And why do they call it pair of underwear? It's one whole unit. It's not like shoes that are two separate things.)


Two holes for each leg. Similar to pants, shorts. Not sure why shirts, sweaters, jackets aren't a pair when there are two arm holes. Hmmm.....


----------



## Barakiel

I haven't been awake for 30 minutes and it already feels like I've been punched in the gut twice.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'll be working a 10 hour shift on Mother's Day. I'm hoping my mother won't be too upset about that. She might not even be upset at all. I keep forgetting about Mother's Day. I can tell my job really has got my mind all over the place. Probably best not to see her so soon right now anyways.


----------



## mt moyt

weird, slept for 2 hours last night that wasn't even consecutive. came back exhausted and slept for 4 hours and now I've been fully awake since 2am lol


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely


----------



## tehuti88

Increasingly frustrated, and like I'm irritating certain parties. I apparently keep saying things wrong and can't help but suspect a warning will be coming soon though I'm not sure why, I've seen other people say harsher things. I'd like to stop doing what I'm doing so I don't get in trouble or annoy anyone further, but I don't know what it is I'm doing wrong. *Everything* I say is wrong.

Over and over I go through this pattern, why do I feel a need to speak up at all? Why can't I just shut my mouth and go away. I went about a year without saying anything and it was excruciating but I figure it's what people prefer. :crying:

I only came back here because I had nowhere else to express my fear. I would have stayed away, otherwise.

I'm sorry I'm bothering everyone again.


----------



## trendyfool

tehuti88 said:


> Increasingly frustrated, and like I'm irritating certain parties. I apparently keep saying things wrong and can't help but suspect a warning will be coming soon though I'm not sure why, I've seen other people say harsher things. I'd like to stop doing what I'm doing so I don't get in trouble or annoy anyone further, but I don't know what it is I'm doing wrong. *Everything* I say is wrong.
> 
> Over and over I go through this pattern, why do I feel a need to speak up at all? Why can't I just shut my mouth and go away. I went about a year without saying anything and it was excruciating but I figure it's what people prefer. :crying:
> 
> I only came back here because I had nowhere else to express my fear. I would have stayed away, otherwise.
> 
> I'm sorry I'm bothering everyone again.


I hope this isn't too weird, but I visited your profile page and saw how many people left comments telling you how much they appreciate your posts. It seems like you're a really valuable member of this community and make great posts, and that lots of people missed you when you went away before.

I've felt the same way as you before though...there's something about the internet where, when I get downvoted or someone doesn't like what I say, it can feel even worse than in real life :|

But you know...disgruntled people gonna disgruntle. It's not about you, it's about them.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Off balance?...the weird feeling you get when your glasses are new & your eyes are adjusting


----------



## Graeme1988

Wonder why ah should even bother making the effort anymore. 

There's nae point... especially when ma ain family just undermine and say things that make me feel inadequate. Every time ah suggest something: it's stupid. Then, the next minute, they're suddenly wandering upstairs; expecting me tae accept that their _"Ah did'nae mean whit ah said, ah wus only jokin'. Sorry. Love you..."_ apology. And storm off in huff, cuz how I'd dare say: _"Aw, **** off, ya c_#%!"_ in response to their apology after what they'd just said to me prior to uttering that pouting, insincere apology. Cuz treating them like they do me, makes me the arsehole, apparently.

Yet, for years, they've constantly asked me to justify why I'm the way ah am. This _"anti-social_, introvert, anxious, fearful f__k up. How come, from age 15, ah always argued *against* me sitting at the table every Christmas. Even now they still dinnae git it... Cannae quite see how treating me with such utter contempt has impacted our relationship. Yin minute, am a waste o' space, useless, etc. The next they'll be asking me tae help with summit. Anytime ah stand up for myself, am _"just like ma dad!"_.

Cannae dae right fur doing wrong, it seems... Cannae win, regardless.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Surprisingly ok for such little sleep


----------



## funnynihilist

I don't sleep well. Too many dreams. And none of them good.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Disgruntled and hungry.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling kind of blah. Forgot a ponytail to put my hair up in a hairnet for work and forgot my belt. Jesus christ. 😂 I've been forgetting everything recently. Doesnt help the fact I wake up at the last minute for work cause I have to get up early. Usually I don't forget this much. 😒😒😒


----------



## joesph

really not good, been in tears last few days. no one to talk to. everyone is seems to be coping well with this likes its a joke, its life or death for me


----------



## love is like a dream

a mosquito in my room. can't even find it. totally drained my energy.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Bored. Yawn.



love is like a dream said:


> a mosquito in my room. can't even find it. totally drained my energy.


Try to shut off all the lights in your house except one light like in the kitchen or something, there is the chance the mosquito will be drawn to the light and then you can dispose of it more easily.


----------



## Karsten

Lohikaarme said:


> Bored. Yawn.
> 
> Try to shut off all the lights in your house except one light like in the kitchen or something, there is the chance the mosquito will be drawn to the light and then you can dispose of it more easily.


You've done this before, haven't you...


----------



## Lohikaarme

Karsten said:


> You've done this before, haven't you...


You've had some practice when you live next to semi-overgrown vegetation :laugh:


----------



## harrison

Feeling pretty good actually - must have had a good sleep last night. Glad I haven't been manic for a while. Strange how we get used to not going anywhere, but I think I'll go for a decent walk today.


----------



## AffinityWing

Exhausted. These all online classes have sapped any and all energy I have for school. I didn't expect them to end up being twice as stressful and time-consuming, and my grades have suffered as a result. I never want to have classes like this ever again, but I hear rumors that my school will continue online next semester so I'm worried.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

AffinityWing said:


> Exhausted. These all online classes have sapped any and all energy I have for school. I didn't expect them to end up being twice as stressful and time-consuming, and my grades have suffered as a result. I never want to have classes like this ever again, but I hear rumors that my school will continue online next semester so I'm worried.


What are you taking?


----------



## AffinityWing

WillYouStopDave said:


> What are you taking?


I'm majoring in Computer Science now, so I have to take an Intro to Programming class and Precalculus. The other two are History and a Composition class, but they are General Eds so I'm not that worried about them. The Programming and Math class are very time-consuming, though.


----------



## kesker

harrison said:


> Feeling pretty good actually - must have had a good sleep last night. Glad I haven't been manic for a while. Strange how we get used to not going anywhere, but I think I'll go for a decent walk today.


Good news!!! Carry on!!!


----------



## harrison

kesker said:


> Good news!!! Carry on!!!


Thanks mate - we're okay here. Hope you and your wife are okay over there too. 

What's it like where you are?


----------



## Fun Spirit

harrison said:


> Feeling pretty good actually - must have had a good sleep last night. Glad I haven't been manic for a while. Strange how we get used to not going anywhere, but I think I'll go for a decent walk today.


That is really good to hear Harrison Made my evening to know you haven't been manic.


----------



## harrison

Sunshine Lady said:


> That is really good to hear Harrison Made my evening to know you haven't been manic.


Thanks a lot young lady - very nice of you.


----------



## kesker

harrison said:


> Thanks mate - we're okay here. Hope you and your wife are okay over there too.
> 
> What's it like where you are?


I'm in north-central California and we have not been hit badly at all. Relatively few cases throughout the state considering total population with the exception of the LA area. We were the first state to begin sheltering and it seems like it's paying off.


----------



## harrison

kesker said:


> I'm in north-central California and we have not been hit badly at all. Relatively few cases throughout the state considering total population with the exception of the LA area. We were the first state to begin sheltering and it seems like it's paying off.


That's good to hear. Yeah, we've been in lockdown as they say for quite a while too. I just went for a walk - it's driving me a bit nuts tbh, but have to do it.

What's starting to worry me now is when they start saying it's okay to go out again. I'll be scared stiff. And I don't think my wife will be going anywhere again for about 5 years.  (just kidding)


----------



## Karsten

Lohikaarme said:


> You've had some practice when you live next to semi-overgrown vegetation :laugh:


I picture you sitting in your bathroom with all the lights in your house off except the single candle that's glowing on the edge of the tub, equipped with a stoic expression and a flip flop...


----------



## love is like a dream

Lohikaarme said:


> Bored. Yawn.
> 
> Try to shut off all the lights in your house except one light like in the kitchen or something, there is the chance the mosquito will be drawn to the light and then you can dispose of it more easily.


while i was preparing myself to sleep in another room (which is something really uncomfortable to me), i found it right below the tv. i hit it on the same wall. it was such a relief.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Annoyed. One of my CDs said online that my package is located here at my post office but I didnt get that one. I got my other one, though. So it lied I guess. It might have gotten delayed cause of the virus but that's very doubtful considering. the fact it says online that it's here. I was supposed to get it Monday but I'm waiting until tomorrow to get a refund if I don't get it.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Tired and anxious normally one would cancel out the other but they're competing nicely.


----------



## Lohikaarme

Karsten said:


> I picture you sitting in your bathroom with all the lights in your house off except the single candle that's glowing on the edge of the tub, equipped with a stoic expression and a flip flop...


Also can't forget the walls that are plastered with the blood of his fallen comrades>


----------



## hateliving

Terrible. My head hurts like fcking hell.


----------



## Suchness

Hopeful, motivated, determined.


----------



## harrison

Tired today.


----------



## Sekiro

AffinityWing said:


> I'm majoring in Computer Science now, so I have to take an Intro to Programming class and Precalculus. The other two are History and a Composition class, but they are General Eds so I'm not that worried about them. The Programming and Math class are very time-consuming, though.


 Programming classes are all about the journey. Have fun with writing the code. Make it work then make it better.

PM me with any questions you have.


----------



## arca

Feeling alone and empty


----------



## lily

I plan to make a strawberry-banana smoothie tomorrow. I drank teas today already.



arca said:


> Feeling alone and empty


:hug


----------



## Shawn81

It's time to sleep, so, wide awake and full of adrenaline.


----------



## Sekiro

Somehow I pinched a nerve or pulled a muscle in my upper back yesterday doing the side plank ffs


I swear to god I'm falling apart.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Annoyed. Couldnt try on some pants cause my other work pants have a hole in them and the dressing rooms are closed cause of the virus. And of course they dont fit me. Women's clothing is made way too tight on a lot of things. Good thing I got another pair just in case and they fit.


----------



## AffinityWing

Sekiro said:


> Programming classes are all about the journey. Have fun with writing the code. Make it work then make it better.
> 
> PM me with any questions you have.


Thanks, I will! Well, I'm currently making a bouncing ball program in Java for a project and was looking for some help in debugging it, so could I send some questions about that? I'm having problems moving the ball correctly.


----------



## firelight

Regretful


----------



## Sekiro

AffinityWing said:


> Thanks, I will! Well, I'm currently making a bouncing ball program in Java for a project and was looking for some help in debugging it, so could I send some questions about that? I'm having problems moving the ball correctly.


I know I don't look it, but I'm pretty good at this.


----------



## Velorrei

I feel like I need more sleep.


----------



## harrison

This isolation is really starting to drive me crazy.


----------



## lily

I feel better


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I annoy people. :/


----------



## Sekiro

My back still has pulled muscle. Still hurts but more mobile than before. Aspirin down the hatch.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Unsure.


----------



## AffinityWing

Sekiro said:


> I know I don't look it, but I'm pretty good at this.


On second thought, I was able to finally figure it out but thanks! :boogie


----------



## Sekiro

AffinityWing said:


> On second thought, I was able to finally figure it out but thanks! :boogie


 That's great!

If you ever need help or input on something programming related don't hesitate to ask.


----------



## CNikki

Cold.


----------



## Crisigv

Not great


----------



## Shawn81

A rare evening of anger. Several bad experiences today.


----------



## kesker

sleep deprived........60 plus years. it feels like a candy cane design mixed with a barber pole swirling in my stomach and my eyes and head.


----------



## harrison

kesker said:


> sleep deprived........60 plus years. it feels like a candy cane design mixed with a barber pole swirling in my stomach and my eyes and head.


Sorry to hear mate - that sounds terrible. Hope you feel better soon and can get some sleep.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, enjoying my virtual life, no joke. I'm currently dancing with a cat, and an armored dude to Coldplay, it is the little things, I tell ya! 

I also worked, which was okay - I would be okay without working too. I made $22 USD, in two hours, which I consider to be pretty good money. I'm not sure what I'll spend it on, I'll probably store it away for a more powerful computer in the future. My laptop is okay, but I would like to be able to do more with my VR headset, so I could use a more powerful video card. Perhaps in another three or four months.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

zonebox said:


> Pretty good, enjoying my virtual life, no joke. I'm currently dancing with a cat, and an armored dude to Coldplay, it is the little things, I tell ya!
> 
> I also worked, which was okay - I would be okay without working too. I made $22 USD, in two hours, which I consider to be pretty good money. I'm not sure what I'll spend it on, I'll probably store it away for a more powerful computer in the future. My laptop is okay, but I would like to be able to do more with my VR headset, so I could use a more powerful video card. Perhaps in another three or four months.


I haven't looked into VR too much yet but didn't realise it would work with a laptop, I figured it would have to be pretty high end so that's interesting. Well you can get gaming laptops too, but they tend to overheat easily if you push them too hard that was my experience years ago when I started using one with UDK (game engine,) and Maya for a year plus some gaming.


----------



## XebelRebel

I am feeling calm and relaxed. I might make myself another cup of tea, then simply sit here for a while, enjoying being at home. I love my home, now. It is so peaceful here.


----------



## zonebox

Persephone The Dread said:


> I haven't looked into VR too much yet but didn't realise it would work with a laptop, I figured it would have to be pretty high end so that's interesting. Well you can get gaming laptops too, but they tend to overheat easily if you push them too hard that was my experience years ago when I started using one with UDK (game engine,) and Maya for a year plus some gaming.


Oh yeah, most definitely. I got a pretty cheap gaming laptop on sale, with the bare minimum specifically for VR, this laptop has a Nvidia 1050 TI card in it, which does actually work with the goggles I purchased, a set of WMR goggles made by Acer a while ago, which work pretty well. It is pretty funny, because I have to wear my glasses with them, mind you I am nearsighted.

It is a pretty wonky setup up though, to play most games, first I have to open a program called windows mixed reality, then I have to open Steam from within WMR to do almost anything in VR. On top of that, if I want to play games that were not meant for VR, I have to open yet a third program called VorpX, then I open the game I want to play. It is layers upon layers Persephone :lol But, I have a lot of fun exploring a virtual landscape. I enjoy wandering through the cities and forests people have built in applications that were not designed for VR, it really is quite beautiful. I have explored a plethora of landmarks recreated by stitching pictures together, I have even stepped foot on Mars, and wave walked around and witnessed an amazing alien horizon.

One of my favorites is a virtual arcade, with functional arcade boxes in it with games from the 80s and 90s, it is like having my own gaming room that I can walk around. Then there is a movie cinema that I like to visit on occasion, I like to watch The Matrix there, it is kind of funny watching a movie about a simulated reality, in a simulated cinema, on a simulated screen.

I also like to sit in homes I have built, watch TV, or explore a world I have built. It is really serene, to sit by a lake I had created, with a small forest, with hills in the distance. I can let my imagination go free and just relax in the middle of it all, away from the mundane world.

Technology is finally catching up to VR, it took a while to be in the reach for me, I mean, hell I have been waiting for it since the 90s.


----------



## fluorish

Not good


----------



## Lohikaarme




----------



## hateliving

Deppressed,lots of pain.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm not doing good right now. I'm sure I'll feel better later, though.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

zonebox said:


> Oh yeah, most definitely. I got a pretty cheap gaming laptop on sale, with the bare minimum specifically for VR, this laptop has a Nvidia 1050 TI card in it, which does actually work with the goggles I purchased, a set of WMR goggles made by Acer a while ago, which work pretty well. It is pretty funny, because I have to wear my glasses with them, mind you I am nearsighted.
> 
> It is a pretty wonky setup up though, to play most games, first I have to open a program called windows mixed reality, then I have to open Steam from within WMR to do almost anything in VR. On top of that, if I want to play games that were not meant for VR, I have to open yet a third program called VorpX, then I open the game I want to play. It is layers upon layers Persephone :lol But, I have a lot of fun exploring a virtual landscape. I enjoy wandering through the cities and forests people have built in applications that were not designed for VR, it really is quite beautiful. I have explored a plethora of landmarks recreated by stitching pictures together, I have even stepped foot on Mars, and wave walked around and witnessed an amazing alien horizon.
> 
> One of my favorites is a virtual arcade, with functional arcade boxes in it with games from the 80s and 90s, it is like having my own gaming room that I can walk around. Then there is a movie cinema that I like to visit on occasion, I like to watch The Matrix there, it is kind of funny watching a movie about a simulated reality, in a simulated cinema, on a simulated screen.
> 
> I also like to sit in homes I have built, watch TV, or explore a world I have built. It is really serene, to sit by a lake I had created, with a small forest, with hills in the distance. I can let my imagination go free and just relax in the middle of it all, away from the mundane world.
> 
> Technology is finally catching up to VR, it took a while to be in the reach for me, I mean, hell I have been waiting for it since the 90s.


Yeah I've seen some videos of vr and it seems like there's some interesting stuff. Actually I went into an irl arcade a few months ago and there was vr game there and I was curious but didn't want to pay £4 since I'd already spent a few pounds on pinball and a motorbike game, and a pacman air hockey game, and I figured at some point I'd probably try it somewhere else, or buy a headset so I wasn't in a rush.








> Always played this during my Summer holidays in Italy...it was popular back then in 1997.


^ lol they know. Although for me it was in France and 1998-20XX


----------



## RelinquishedHell

More alive now that it's finally warm and sunny


----------



## Citrine79

Annoyed and frustrated.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> I'm so bored! I hope you get to move to a place that's best for you


Aye... hopefully one day.


----------



## Kevin001

Meh sucks my family won't help with driving.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I guess I feel okay.  A bit exhausted from work. I think I'll go to bed an hour early tonight.


----------



## either/or

That heat in my chest is back, encircling my rapidly beating heart, that sickening heat. The apprehension. Rumination. Wrapped up tight into a ball of dread. It always comes back.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Sad.


----------



## harrison

I'd say my mood is becoming slightly elevated. All it takes sometimes is just having a chat to a few people. Haven't had it for a while though so I guess I should consider myself lucky. I need to call my wife.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely as usual


----------



## Sekiro

I'm really quite happy and it's a little weird.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Vulnerable. Emotionally unstable.


----------



## SLubenstein

Sanguine


----------



## Crisigv

upset


----------



## funnynihilist

Been feeling very bitter lately, more than my usual background bitterness.


----------



## Sekiro

SamanthaStrange said:


> Vulnerable. Emotionally unstable.


:hug:


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious


----------



## mt moyt

only 8 hours sleep in 2 nights but it was consecutive so i feel pretty awake. wfh has its ups and downs


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Lohikaarme

Tentatively excited


----------



## funnynihilist

Kind of ill after drinking a Sierra Mist. Haven't had soda in weeks. I forget how sickeningly sweet it is.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Can't even be bothered lol, especially now I've started getting cramps. Plus I read that other thread and remembered all the interesting Ursula K. Le Guin books I don't have any motivation to read but have wanted to for several years like The Left Hand of Darkness and the Word for World Is Forest. Everything is just a way to fill in time anyway.

wtb prefrontal cortex.

I have this carrot raspberry and apple juice which is fine but probably one of the most random flavours I've heard of.

And now I remembered that post that made me feel more **** about the part of myself I hate and now I need this post to move to the venting thread where nobody can quote but might do anyway because they didn't read the thread title lol. Yeah I can already tell this is going to be a great few days oh who am I kidding my whole life is a nightmare with no catharsis in one way or another that never ends no matter what.

But at least I have weird juice.


----------



## CNikki

Nervous.


----------



## discopotato

Nervous. Once again I have to confront my severe phone anxiety. I hate being an adult.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

funnynihilist said:


> Kind of ill after drinking a Sierra Mist. Haven't had soda in weeks. I forget how sickeningly sweet it is.


A lot of things just have too much sugar. My weakness is sweet foods. I won't touch sodas but anything chocolate or sweet, I constantly crave and dont know why. It's always nagging me in the back of my head but I try to ignore it as best as I can. &#128530;


----------



## funnynihilist

PurplePeopleEater said:


> A lot of things just have too much sugar. My weakness is sweet foods. I won't touch sodas but anything chocolate or sweet, I constantly crave and dont know why. It's always nagging me in the back of my head but I try to ignore it as best as I can. &#128530;


I'm the same. Chocolate especially. I'd give up regular food in an instant and live only on chocolate if I could. And cake, especially chocolate cake!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

funnynihilist said:


> I'm the same. Chocolate especially. I'd give up regular food in an instant and live only on chocolate if I could. And cake, especially chocolate cake!


lol Cake is good. I'm a sucker for carrot cake. There's been hundreds of times where I thought to myself that I'd rather have something sweet than eat a meal that will fill me up. That's how bad my brain craves it. Argh.


----------



## CNikki

Let's just put it this way.

Anxiety on steroids.

Going to have to up some dosage tonight, boy...


----------



## aqwsderf

I feel lucky and happy that I found him...even when the world's kind of falling apart. 

This year so far has been a lot of things. But it gave me something I don't want to let go of.


----------



## lily

I'm feeling lonely  And not feeling very well. I also made a pot of ginger drink and even drinking a cup made me feel worse. I should've just drank less, but the healthy part is it has the antioxidant, gingerole. Tomorrow I have to exercise. I slept a lot today. I cut down on organic soy milk because I learned it can affect the thyroid and I think it's that it could make you tired.


----------



## J Black

Im feeling like that sleeping all afternoon yesterday was a big mistake. Been up for about 2 hours and its 3am.

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk


----------



## XebelRebel

I have a big sense of accomplishment. I am doing so well.


----------



## harrison

I feel like a bus ran over me while I was asleep last night. Jesus I'm tired.


----------



## ncdolphins

Stuck


----------



## ncdolphins

stuck


----------



## Crisigv

headache, come on advil, kick in


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Crap. I lost the title to my vehicle. I have the insurance of course cause you cant drive without that but I have no clue where I put the title. I looked through everything twice in my room. Wish I had a big room. It would come in handy. I. need to get a new one.


----------



## copper

Feel like crap today. Got a sore throat, sinus drainage, and headache. I hope it is just allergies. I checked the allergy index. Said that Oak, Birch, and Ash pollen is high. I am allergic to Oak, and Birch. I am out of Zrytec. Going to have to make a run to the store which I hate doing right now.


----------



## lily

I was feeling great a while ago but now I'm more anxious again.


----------



## lily

I'm waiting for my frozen strawberries to get warmer so I can do a smoothie


----------



## hayes

Isn't makeup supposed to make you beautiful. Why do I feel even more like a pig with some lipstick smeared on.


----------



## funnynihilist

Pretty bad actually


----------



## SamanthaStrange

funnynihilist said:


> Pretty bad actually


:squeeze

Same.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Embarrassed. Instead of saying "can I hold" in reference to something pertaining to my job, I said "can I *****"...I was asking for something and made a terrible mistake with my wording. My awkwardness just reached a new low recently. 😒 Great. I laughed about it to cope with the awkwardness and it helped a little but I'm going to be embarrassed about it for awhile.


----------



## discopotato

Lame. Reconnecting with people from my past is always such a blow to my self esteem. They've all evolved into cool successful people and I'm pretty much the same loser I was 10 years ago.


----------



## The Linux Guy

discopotato said:


> Lame. Reconnecting with people from my past is always such a blow to my self esteem. They've all evolved into cool successful people and I'm pretty much the same loser I was 10 years ago.


He who dies with the most success, still dies.


----------



## funnynihilist

I'm not happy


----------



## Crisigv

Pretty crappy


----------



## discopotato

The Linux Guy said:


> He who dies with the most success, still dies.


true dat


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not in a good mood..My dad was raising hell cause my vehicle I gave to him wasnt clean enough for his taste. He said it looked dirty and told me to please take care of his other car he's giving to me and not to tear it up. I dont get what he means cause the current car I had was nice. Old cars are going to break down. Yea, this is my dad that my sister wants me to move back in with. I'm not perfect enough and apparently I'm dirty cause my vehicle looked a mess and I didnt have much trash in it. That's why I leave a trash bag in there... My day is ruined.


----------



## fluorish

Very anxious


----------



## blue2

The Linux Guy said:


> He who dies with the most success, still dies.


And he who lives with the most losse's, still lives, I'd choose the successful death one tbh.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hungry, but my stomach has been bothering me, so I'm anxious about eating.


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Phukin phed up.

Never ending desire for more money and a partner. Wish these desires would just phuk off


----------



## hateliving

tired


----------



## funnynihilist

*looks around my prison cell* yep yep


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I'm enjoying my new job quite a lot - it is definitely the easiest one I've had, the pay is not too bad, I have all of the flexibility I could want, and there is no boss with very little human interaction. I'm slowly saving up for a new laptop, I think I might actually go for an Alienware, although perhaps it will be an HP Omen. I have an Omen now, but it is the cheaper version, with a graphics card that is now a bit outdated. The thing I like about the Alienware laptop, is that the GPU is upgradeable, along with the CPU, so it could last me for a long time. On the other hand, I really do not like white laptops.. As far as I have seen they do not allow you to customize the color, and I know it is a trivial thing but if I am going to layout that much money, I expect to have it for over five years as my main computer, and white laptops sort of irk me. They are easily discolored, plus I like black laptops.. I could just paint it though, which is always an option. Regardless, it is going to be a long time before I can afford one, perhaps by then there will be something else out there.

Check this beast out:




My version would be a lot cheaper than their version.

I would get a desktop, but I don't have space for it.

I'm now sitting at home, my dog is hanging out with me, I guess he missed me because he spent most of his time waiting at the door for me to come home. He is such a huge dork, when I get home he usually shoots this really outrageous smile at me. I'm going to have some rum later on, and play a few games, so all is relatively well.


----------



## lily

I feel ok mentally right now and I think the whole day.


----------



## CNikki

Hot. ops


----------



## funnynihilist

Tired but not tired


----------



## lily

Not sleeping yet for today but I find the forum boring right now


----------



## coeur_brise

Without a list. Less one list.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A bit pressured. Crossing my fingers all this works out.


----------



## lily

PurplePeopleEater said:


> A bit pressured. Crossing my fingers all this works out.


What are you hoping for?


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Hatred, anger you know the usual.


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed


----------



## funnynihilist

Persephone The Dread said:


> Hatred, anger you know the usual.


Me too Perse, me too.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

funnynihilist said:


> Me too Perse, me too.


Yeah, it's not a great way to be.


----------



## funnynihilist

Persephone The Dread said:


> Yeah, it's not a great way to be.


It surely isn't.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> What are you hoping for?


Hopefully to get car insurance for a cheaper price but places are going to rip you off for a more expensive price no matter what you tell them. Guess it can't hurt to try but if I cant get it any less than like 80, I'm just going to have to make do with what they give me.


----------



## lily

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Hopefully to get car insurance for a cheaper price but places are going to rip you off for a more expensive price no matter what you tell them. Guess it can't hurt to try but if I cant get it any less than like 80, I'm just going to have to make do with what they give me.


Hope it goes well w/ you


----------



## lily

I like the sunshine today


----------



## lily

I feel tired


----------



## PandaBearx

Anxious


----------



## funnynihilist

Well that was..... another day.......


----------



## blue2

Persephone The Dread said:


> Hatred, anger you know the usual.


I'm sorry it has to be this way :hug


----------



## komorikun

Kind of out of it. I slept for nearly 9 hours but guess that wasn't enough. I don't know if it's the teeny tiny bit of *melatonin* and* diphenhydramine(aka benadryl)* I'm taking every day or the 3 drinks of cachaça I had last night. Guess you aren't supposed to take melatonin every day but I only have little tiny piece of a pill. It takes me 3 weeks to finish off one pill. Seem to be out of it a lot lately. Like I'm not fully awake until like 2pm. Make all sorts of stupid errors while working. My mind is mush.

Thought I'd have some peace and quiet now that the upstairs neighbors in that 3 bedroom moved out. Originally it was 4 people but then they moved in at least one more person. Being underneath a 3 bedroom is annoying. Cause you know it's either going to be a family with kids or a bunch of youngish roommates (college kids or just graduated).

It has *not *been quiet. First there were some awful construction noises coming from there. Super loud for like 2 days while I'm trying to work in my living room. Turned out the carpet in the communal areas was ripped out and the landlord put in laminate flooring. Can't believe that cheapskate finally spent some money!! He's so ****ing cheap. Then the the Mexican cleaners came for a day and played their mariachi music at full blast with all the windows open while cleaning. Landlord also seems to be coming here every Saturday to do something upstairs. Always on my day off he has to come here. Saw him vacuuming the stairs and hallway today while wearing a black face mask.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Frustrated. Trapped. Cursed. Hopeless.


----------



## Citrine79

It is “that time” of the month, so not only am I extra anxious and miserable, I feel crappy also. I continue to be hopeless and gets worse with each passing day.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Tired but want to stay up at the same time. I really enjoy free time. 😒 But I should hit the hay.


----------



## trendyfool

I feel renewed and refreshed. Glad that I spent part of today gardening.


----------



## komorikun

Had another sleepy attack again at around 6pm. Ugh. Sucks so much. Didn't have any melatonin or whatever last night. I think it's the booze. It somehow makes my sleep poor quality. And I need a lot of sleep. More than most people. Being a light sleeper and sleeping until noon doesn't help matters.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

komorikun said:


> Had another sleepy attack again at around 6pm. Ugh. Sucks so much. Didn't have any melatonin or whatever last night. I think it's the booze. It somehow makes my sleep poor quality. And I need a lot of sleep. More than most people. Being a light sleeper and sleeping until noon doesn't help matters.


 Have you ever tried valarien? Man I take one of those things, I sleep like a baby. Only bad thing is sometimes I wake up with a splitting headache. But I think that's because there's something about the structure of my sinuses that causes them to swell if I lay really still for a long time.


----------



## komorikun

WillYouStopDave said:


> Have you ever tried valarien? Man I take one of those things, I sleep like a baby. Only bad thing is sometimes I wake up with a splitting headache. But I think that's because there's something about the structure of my sinuses that causes them to swell if I lay really still for a long time.


Yeah, I did. Not sure if it worked or if it was just placebo effect. Seemed to have raised the price on Amazon.

It's not that I have insomnia. The main problem is that I'm nocturnal but have to wake up around 9 or 9:30am for work. So it takes a little help for me to fall out at midnight or 1am. Naturally I'm up until 3am and sleep until noon. I really should only be taking these sleeping pills on Sunday night and not every night. But it just becomes a habit.

Anyways, almost done with the cachaça bottle so no more booze for bonzo for a while.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

komorikun said:


> Yeah, I did. Not sure if it worked or if it was just placebo effect. Seemed to have raised the price on Amazon.
> 
> It's not that I have insomnia. The main problem is that I'm nocturnal but have to wake up around 9 or 9:30am for work. So it takes a little help for me to fall out at midnight or 1am. Naturally I'm up until 3am and sleep until noon. I really should only be taking these sleeping pills on Sunday night and not every night. But it just becomes a habit.
> 
> Anyways, almost done with the cachaça bottle so no more booze for bonzo for a while.


 The only thing about it is it makes me not want to wake up. I don't have insomnia either but sometimes my sleep quality is crap. Which is what I take it for.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

My stomach is feeling twisted up in knots about going back to work tomorrow as it usually does every Sunday night. I still feel very uncomfortable at my job and I always feel like I have to watch my back and watch what I say. 

Working in a place where people aren't vibing and are always trying to stick a knife in your back after smiling to your face is really weighing on me. Snitches get paid extra at my job, so you spend all day looking over your shoulder. It really sucks. 

This environment is definitely aggravating my mental issues in an especially abrasive way. My paranoia is through the roof.


----------



## lily

wierd, I slept at around 10ish and now I'm awake too early


----------



## lily

wow, I still see a lot of people not asleep


----------



## lily

so bored and I'm self-conscious I will see my avatar pic three in a row. I'm just not used to it


----------



## harrison

WillYouStopDave said:


> Have you ever tried valarien? Man I take one of those things, I sleep like a baby. Only bad thing is sometimes I wake up with a splitting headache. But I think that's because there's something about _the structure of my sinuses_ that causes them to swell if I lay really still for a long time.


I have a feeling it was something to do with that that made the Coronavirus test I had the other day so incredibly unpleasant. It was terrible - but I had a deviated septum when I was young and supposedly had it corrected by surgery. (also disgusting and not recommended)

Some people look like they handle it a lot better than I did. I was swearing (very loudly) and felt sorry for the people waiting out in the waiting room that could hear me. The young guy that did the test apologised and called me "Sir." which is fairly unusual in this country.


----------



## Perkins

I should be relaxed but I'm not. I don't know what to do with myself.


----------



## SparklingWater

Excited.


----------



## lily

it will be raining, too bad because I thought I'd feel better to go out for a walk today in the sun.


----------



## Fun Spirit

Surprised that @lily is using her a photo as a avatar. That is great. Made my morning.
What made you do it? Must had took a lot of confidence. It took a member name Kudos to get me to do it.
:squeeze Real happy for you.


----------



## Fun Spirit

lily said:


> Thanks Sunshine Lady. Aw.. that is so nice to hear you say that. I like your avatar too. I'm still not really liking it. lol


: )
Thanks.

That is sad. Don't be hard on yourself. It is you. Be proud and kind to yourself.


----------



## farfegnugen

My legs are sore from running up hills last night, but it's a good sore that kind of feels good in an achy way. From the shoulders up, I still feel a mental torpor as I'm in search for the curiosity button.


----------



## Fun Spirit

@lily You'll get use to it
Don't go quickly removing it;D

Hmm maybe you can fix that.


----------



## CNikki

Really irritated. Somewhat disappointed.


----------



## SunshineSam218

Today I am feeling calm.


----------



## Excaliber

Anxious, but I'll soldier on. I hope the weather improves later this week so I can take my bike out for a ride.


----------



## funnynihilist

Kinda sore today


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> Really irritated. Somewhat disappointed.


"hugs"


----------



## Dissonance

Got back on my diet, feel healthier already.


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> "hugs"


Thank you.


----------



## Crisigv

Was feeling fine earlier, but now I'm feeling a bit down.


----------



## CNikki

Slightly nervous. Surprisingly not all are for bad reasons, but still.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Sad and bitter.


----------



## Ominous Indeed




----------



## Dissonance

Bit better, not feeling so down, but just kind of down.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I feel sorry for my mother.

I know for sure now nothing has changed over there.


----------



## slyfox

Depressed. Again not going to get done today what I wanted. Just don't have the energy or discipline. I just fail over and over again. And what I do seems to make no difference.

Plan to take a nap and hopefully work more on things when I wake up. Sometimes helps to refresh me. Maybe get an early start on my work for tomorrow as well.


----------



## Sekiro

Pain in my back is gone and my ankle feels alright.


I feel pretty good about dis.


----------



## exceptionalfool

I hate feeling like I should just go away. I guess it's necessary to feel that way sometimes, but it's never pleasant. When the only right thing to do is just go to bed. I've learned to accept it I think. That's a skill right there. Don't fight it. +10 skill card "Walk away and go to bed. You'll thank yourself later."


----------



## Fun Spirit

Let down. My hopes was shot down.


----------



## CNikki

Kind of good. Went to bed fairly early and woke up a little bit earlier. Maybe I could try to do this and sleep/wake up a bit earlier while taking the advantage of this quarantine time.


----------



## lily

I feel that some people could still be progressing in life during the pandemic but I'm not so I hope it is over soon. it is sunny today though so that is nice. I'm still bored though.


----------



## lily

I'll be doing a mango smoothie today


----------



## PandaBearx

A little bit low...I felt very anxious earlier today and ended up dissociating which was unsettling. I still feel a bit detached but not as bad.


----------



## aqwsderf

I lost at words with friends against @Karsten 2-1

Life sucks


----------



## Karsten

I just won 2 games of Words with Friends. I'm on top of the world. 

So confident I'd wrestle a tiger.


----------



## harrison

Terrible fear - and I don't even know what I'm afraid of. I hate waking up like this.


----------



## CNikki

Tired.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A mixture of okay and not okay I guess. But at least I have things to occupy my time and make me feel somewhat better.


----------



## funnynihilist

Terrible


----------



## Elle Knight

Numb: I have no interest to talk to people anymore. People have ruined it for me. Now I am feeling apathetic.


----------



## Crisigv

A little productive. After my walk, I decided to vacuum my car, wash the mats. And I now have 2 fog lights again.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I dont care what anyone says. It is impossible for me to ever find a roommate to split bills with in an apartment since I'm autistic. I've never heard of an autistic person that has a friend.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I dont care what anyone says. It is impossible for me to ever find a roommate to split bills with in an apartment since I'm autistic. I've never heard of an autistic person that has a friend.


My brother's best friend is autistic, but my brother is also atypical as with the whole of my family.


----------



## thomasjune

Physically tired. Staying busy helps me cope with my anxiety so overall I'm feeling pretty good right now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## CNikki

Still tired if not more so. But for what it's worth the day made it worth it.


----------



## hateliving

ill


----------



## blue2

Just woke up from the freakiest dream, about a priest getting chewed up alive by a malfunctioning giant holy water machine wtf ! : /


----------



## funnynihilist

This ain't livin'


----------



## Dissonance

not sad for once.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Persephone The Dread said:


> My brother's best friend is autistic, but my brother is also atypical as with the whole of my family.


Just curious, is he left handed?


----------



## Persephone The Dread

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Just curious, is he left handed?


Yes lol he brought that up the last time I saw him. Apparently some of his school teachers tried to force him to be right handed which I didn't think still happened in the 90s, but I guess it sometimes still does.

edit: unless you mean my brother in which case no he's right handed, although my mum is left handed.


----------



## andy1984

i feel really out if it today. had work early, only 4 hours. finished work. came home. eat. watch some stuff. back to sleep. watch some more stuff. eat some more. tummy not happy. oh i had a weird dream that i can't really remember. something about dividing some amount by some other amount and then multiplying it by the same amount in some weird loop. idk. also fantasized about quitting job, giving notice at flat, hire a car and buy this ****ty house in a small town. ug but also seeing my semi-crush tomorrow. idk what to do. i'm not fit to date. and she's quite young and probably doesn't like me like that. its still something though. to like someone. i shouldn't go away to some small place where i wont make any friends. i need to take care of my health and then find a new job. i'll be ok.


----------



## komorikun

komorikun said:


> Kind of out of it. I slept for nearly 9 hours but guess that wasn't enough. I don't know if it's the teeny tiny bit of *melatonin* and* diphenhydramine(aka benadryl)* I'm taking every day or the 3 drinks of cachaça I had last night. Guess you aren't supposed to take melatonin every day but I only have little tiny piece of a pill. It takes me 3 weeks to finish off one pill. Seem to be out of it a lot lately. Like I'm not fully awake until like 2pm. Make all sorts of stupid errors while working. My mind is mush.
> 
> Thought I'd have some peace and quiet now that the upstairs neighbors in that 3 bedroom moved out. Originally it was 4 people but then they moved in at least one more person. Being underneath a 3 bedroom is annoying. Cause you know it's either going to be a family with kids or a bunch of youngish roommates.
> 
> It has *not *been quiet. First there were some awful construction noises coming from there. Super loud for like 2 days while I'm trying to work in my living room. Turned out the carpet in the communal areas was ripped out and the landlord put in laminate flooring. Can't believe that cheapskate finally spent some money!! He's so ****ing cheap. Then the the Mexican cleaners came for a day and played their mariachi music at full blast with all the windows open while cleaning. Landlord also seems to be coming here every Saturday to do something upstairs. Always on my day off he has to come here. Saw him vacuuming the stairs and hallway today while wearing a black face mask.


Feeling mildly accomplished. I finally put away the last big box I had sitting in the living room away. It was the biggest box. The one that my printer for work-from-home came in. Wanted to organize all the boxes and throw out all my recyclables before the new neighbors move in. Cause whenever someone moves in or moves out they create tons of trash. So much trash that they fill up the 2 recycling bins completely.

I know someone signed the lease for that 3 bedroom above me since the landlord took the advert down. $2,600 plus extra for water/sewer/garbage. But I'm not sure when they are moving in exactly. I saw through the peephole that it's some couple in their 30s. I have a bad feeling that it's going to be a family with kids......oh the horror. Up until now it's only been college students or fresh graduates from out of state. At least I'm below the bedrooms. The other one bedroom across the hall is below the communal areas.

Anyways, so just came back from my storage room to put away the big printer box and reorganize. My storage room is basically a small closet in the basement next to the coin laundry room (only one washer and dryer) and the closets of the other tenants. I just put boxes in it and a bag of packing supplies like bubble wrap. So that when I finally move I won't have to buy boxes. Tons of spiderwebs in there. I also put my laundry detergent in there since I don't want the neighbors using mine. I was hauling it up and down every time I did the laundry till a little light bulb went off in my head.

So yeah all the boxes got thrown out into the trash or put away in my storage closet.


----------



## discopotato

Incredibly stressed out. There's not enough hours in the day to get everything I need to get done done. I'm going to burn myself out


----------



## lily

I feel better today


----------



## Crisigv

Hot. The sun is strong today.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Persephone The Dread said:


> Yes lol he brought that up the last time I saw him. Apparently some of his school teachers tried to force him to be right handed which I didn't think still happened in the 90s, but I guess it sometimes still does.
> 
> edit: unless you mean my brother in which case no he's right handed, although my mum is left handed.


I meant his friend. &#128514; I didnt think that still happened in the 90s either. He could've been playing around or serious. That's kind of odd, though.

Being left handed counts as a deformity in a way, which is interesting to know. Me and my third youngest sister are the only ones in my family that I know of that are left handed.


----------



## XebelRebel

I read that the Snyder Cut of Justice League is being released, which is something I wanted to happen very much that I worked very hard to achieve: it is a surreal feeling to know that it is finally happening.

Max is delivering the Christmas-come-early that Phoebe wanted to see back in 2017. I look forward to the Snyder Cut being released on Blu-Ray disc.


----------



## harrison

Feeling pretty good thanks. Waiting for my groceries to be delivered and quietly browsing books on ebay that could be resold for a (large) profit.

Nice rainy, misty sort of day too - good day to stay home.


----------



## Crisigv

I think the sun earlier gave me a migraine. I'm a little nauseous too, despite taking Advil before dinner.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I feel stupid, and angry, and I wish I didn't need to keep living on this earth, all lonely. I know everything I ever say or do is all my fault. It's always my fault. My fault, My fault. It's my fault for living. It's my fault that I always mess the things up that I don't even know what I messed up. But it's my fault for doing it. I suck!


----------



## funnynihilist

Eyes is tired


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Worried I wont have enough time to get everything done at work today and it is important that I do. I shouldnt have taken tomorrow off to see my parents cause I feel like I wont have time today. I hope I can do it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Well, my day ended up being good for awhile and then it got aggravating.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Misunderstood. Outcast. Empty. Sad.


----------



## Crisigv

uneasy and inadequate


----------



## CNikki

Not so confident.


----------



## funnynihilist

Headache. Waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sad. It sucks that I have to go to the park just to get away from people for awhile. Peoples' negative energy comes out at me in waves.


----------



## lily

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Sad. It sucks that I have to go to the park just to get away from people for awhile. Peoples' negative energy comes out at me in waves.


:hug what happened?

*hugs* to everyone else not feeling well. I'm not feeling too great either.


----------



## copper

I get Memorial day off from work. Well I have been working from home since Apr 2nd so it doesn't feel like a day off. The only difference I won't be getting phone calls all day.


----------



## Graeme1988

More depressed than usual, despite having plenty of things to do to distract myself. I think it's because I haven't been outta the house in weeks.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

My daily headache has arrived.


----------



## Crisigv

meh


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> :hug what happened?
> 
> *hugs* to everyone else not feeling well. I'm not feeling too great either.


People being nitpicky with me. :sigh But I feel better today.


----------



## fluorish

been Having panic attacks all day on and off so I feel pretty horrible


----------



## funnynihilist

Crisigv said:


> meh


You beat me to it hehe

Was coming here to say just that.

Meh, just meh.

Highlight of my day so far was watching some squirrels fight outside and that wasn't very exciting.
They fight for like three seconds then go right back to eating.
Sounds like most Americans!


----------



## komorikun

Headache. Feels like a hangover even though I haven't had anything to drink in over a week. Ugh. That's what I get for sleeping until noon. Waiting for the coffee, aspirin, and ibuprofen to help.


----------



## trendyfool

I've been feeling pretty blah today and yesterday.
Last night I did go to a bonfire though, and that was fun.


----------



## lily

PurplePeopleEater said:


> People being nitpicky with me. :sigh But I feel better today.


that's nice


----------



## Care2018

I feel very negative and hopeless


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

Bored.


----------



## lily

I like the breeze I'm getting but I have to keep myself awake in this home



Care2018 said:


> I feel very negative and hopeless


:hug


----------



## leaf in the wind

Really cranky... I think I received a counterfeit on my Amazon order. I've started a claim but I'm so annoyed because I've been waiting a month for this thing to arrive.


----------



## lily

I'm bored right now. Today wasn't a very fun day



The Notorious D.B.L said:


> Bored.


:hug


----------



## The Notorious D.B.L

lily said:


> I'm bored right now. Today wasn't a very fun day
> 
> :hug


Thanks. Still bored here! lol


----------



## hateliving

Horrible. It will never end no matter what.ðŸ˜¿ðŸ˜¿


----------



## Sekiro

Can't help but feel upset about my slow ankle progress. I wish I could run every day. I would run twice a day every day if I could. I'm trying to go once every other day and that's still a bit much for it. But I can't let short time setbacks distract me from my long term goal.


----------



## funnynihilist

Not so great


----------



## Crisigv

Relieved that I finally got to change the other 2 tires on the car. Was sweating in the process thanks to our little heat wave, but all good.


----------



## lily

funnynihilist said:


> Not so great


what's wrong? :hug


----------



## funnynihilist

lily said:


> what's wrong? :hug


Thanks, had a bit of a stomach ache all day.


----------



## lily

funnynihilist said:


> Thanks, had a bit of a stomach ache all day.


I wonder why, glad you're better now though


----------



## funnynihilist

lily said:


> I wonder why, glad you're better now though


Thanks, I haven't been eating the best through the quarantine and I think it's catching up with me now.


----------



## lily

funnynihilist said:


> Thanks, I haven't been eating the best through the quarantine and I think it's catching up with me now.


yw, oh I see  you could go out once a week and get things you can simply cook throughout the week, good luck. I know this can be hard



Graeme1988 said:


> More depressed than usual, despite having plenty of things to do to distract myself. I think it's because I haven't been outta the house in weeks.


Sorry to hear that  I hope you will be able to get out soon.


----------



## CNikki

Still a little bit tired after a two hour nap.

Feeling like I can breathe a bit better with the air quality not being as bad. Then of course reminded that this won't last forever.


----------



## ShotInTheDark

I'm a 5head


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Pissed off. Somehow my earbud tore. off my earphones so I had another pair I bought the same day I got those then the same thing somehow happens to them when I open the package. Wtf. This is ridiculous. What a waste..


----------



## Evelin_

Pretty bad but I decided to pretend that everything's ok to see where it gets me


----------



## CNikki

Unproductive and somewhat upset.


----------



## lily

I'm so bored  now certain things are opening up where i live but not at large. i can't wait 'til i can see family


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and lonely


----------



## lily

Crisigv said:


> Sad and lonely


:hug


----------



## donistired

I feel utterly defeated by life. I am tired.


----------



## Replicante

Not good.


----------



## funnynihilist

Bad as usual


----------



## D'avjo

lily said:


> I want to talk to my friend.


Obviously not me since you scrubbed me from your friends 

Just kidding ha, hope you are good Lily !


----------



## lily

D'avjo said:


> Obviously not me since you scrubbed me from your friends
> 
> Just kidding ha, hope you are good Lily !


lol, nice to hear from you


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Annoyed


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy


----------



## hateliving

Lots of pain


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I miss my mother already.  She looked like she had a sad face when I left yesterday. Or more like an I'm gonna miss you look on her face.


----------



## funnynihilist

Depression


----------



## donistired

Haven't been feeling well. Sick of life. Just cried for the first time in a long time. Usually there's this sort of mental block where, no matter how terrible I feel, I can't cry. Guess my brain just had enough today.


----------



## Cringy Snowflake

I'm feeling like a slug. I need to get back into running nightly. I'm wary of going to the gym for obvious reasons, but I'm perfectly capable of running in the middle of the night.


----------



## copper

Crabby. Also, hurt all over. Felt like I was beat with a board. Had to mow yard. No fun when my joints hurt.


----------



## funnynihilist

Woke up with anxiety. Having weird dreams doesn't help.


----------



## The Linux Guy

I'm hurt,
Don't know how to make myself feel better,
Nobody wants me around,
Therefor my mouth has formed a frown.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Misunderstood. Rejected. Sad. Alone.


----------



## The Linux Guy

SamanthaStrange said:


> Misunderstood. Rejected. Sad. Alone.


Did anyone reject you?


----------



## Mlt18

Bad. I hate summer weather.


----------



## SilentLyric

stressed and regretful.


----------



## cafune

like an anachronistic pigeon.


----------



## harrison

Fairly calm thank God. No rage as far as I can tell. Just tired.


----------



## hateliving

Doom and gloom


----------



## fluorish

Abit more hopeful today


----------



## fluorish

The Linux Guy said:


> I'm hurt,
> Don't know how to make myself feel better,
> Nobody wants me around,
> Therefor my mouth has formed a frown.


It will get better. Are you on any meds?


----------



## The Linux Guy

fluorish said:


> It will get better. Are you on any meds?


It won't get any better. The first meds didn't work. The Doctors told me about other meds that would help me but, they won't prescribe them because I have another physical problem that would makes them too dangerous for me to take.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Had another lonely lunch cause no one likes me. I might as well be the lonely kid in school that tells everyone they like cheese. lol


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Hurt. Disposable. Abandoned.


----------



## funnynihilist

Why do I always have to be the bigger person?

It's like it's just expected that everyone can do or say what they want but I have to just accept it.

Been a whole lifetime of this and this is why I am the bitter person I am today.


----------



## andy1984

a bit ****ty


----------



## Citrine79

Very frustrated and back to near constant worrying again. I honestly don’t think I can handle going back into my office or going to a public place. My state is not as far along as others and things continue to move slow so at least I have some time yet to try and figure out how to deal with it.


----------



## PF123

about myself-unimportant
about others-scared, hoping they stay safe


----------



## Replicante

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Had another lonely lunch cause no one likes me.


Their bad. Weird people. &#128540;


----------



## donistired

Tired, in all sense of the word.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Replicante said:


> Their bad. Weird people. &#128540;


Yea, their loss I suppose. I'll just try not to dwell on it.


----------



## cafune

like someone stole all my playthings, boo


----------



## Crisigv

Not good


----------



## fluorish

The Linux Guy said:


> It won't get any better. The first meds didn't work. The Doctors told me about other meds that would help me but, they won't prescribe them because I have another physical problem that would makes them too dangerous for me to take.


Ohh what sub category were the meds that didn't work just curious cause their is sooo much out their isn't their bound to be a different medication no? I kinda feel like I might need to go back on antidepressants but I really really don't want to.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I have a headache, as usual. I'm also anxious about this appointment I have tomorrow.


----------



## funnynihilist

I feel like my brain isn't working in real time today. What's the word? Latency.


----------



## The Linux Guy

fluorish said:


> Ohh what sub category were the meds that didn't work just curious cause their is sooo much out their isn't their bound to be a different medication no? I kinda feel like I might need to go back on antidepressants but I really really don't want to.


I need a medication for my learning disability that doesn't also raise my blood pressure.

*Can you take ADD meds with high blood pressure?*
ADHD medications for adults with high blood pressure
ADHD medications such as methamphetamine, methylphenidate and atomoxetine can increase blood pressure and heart rate and lead to myocardial infarction and sudden unexplained death (SUD).
https://www.rxlist.com/adhd_prescription_drugs/drug-class.htm


----------



## cafune

like all the colours.


----------



## AngurisNesz

Tired.
Went to bed too late last night.


----------



## fluorish

The Linux Guy said:


> I need a medication for my learning disability that doesn't also raise my blood pressure.
> 
> *Can you take ADD meds with high blood pressure?*
> ADHD medications for adults with high blood pressure
> ADHD medications such as methamphetamine, methylphenidate and atomoxetine can increase blood pressure and heart rate and lead to myocardial infarction and sudden unexplained death (SUD).
> https://www.rxlist.com/adhd_prescription_drugs/drug-class.htm


Ohh I see. Have you tried decreasing certain food additives that are well known to increase blood pressure? For example salt. I studied nutrition for a while.. so I'm very into healing with food. 
Are you studying? If your not studying how does not having the medication for learning really affect your life adversely?


----------



## Dissonance

I'm going to watch the sunrise and greet it's beauty. I always admired the moon, but truly sunrises are amazing.


----------



## funnynihilist

Bleh


----------



## The Linux Guy

fluorish said:


> Ohh I see. Have you tried decreasing certain food additives that are well known to increase blood pressure? For example salt. I studied nutrition for a while.. so I'm very into healing with food.
> Are you studying? If your not studying how does not having the medication for learning really affect your life adversely?


This is a very complicated subject. I will not be able to explain my condition in just a few words. I might not be able to explain my condition at all. From my understanding my issues are a rare case.

My blood pressure too high for a little salt decrease to fix it. You can't even fix it with exercise. Perhaps if I ate food with no salt in it at all? I already hate most foods.

My learning disability effects me in nearly everything I do. I don't think I could list all the areas it effects me in. Maybe it doesn't effect my writing?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Hungry. I just want to cook but not if someone is going to be going in the kitchen. I don't like anyone going in the kitchen when I'm doing anything. Right as I was about to cook, these people that live here got back home. So that was very bad timing.


----------



## CWe

Defeated


----------



## funnynihilist

Yuck


----------



## Crisigv

My mood is okay at the moment, always subject to change.


----------



## XebelRebel

I'm feeling comfortable, sitting in my bed with my laptop while it is raining outside. I love hearing the sound of raindrops against the window when I am wrapped up warm in bed; it is so nice.

:cup I also have an oversized cup of tea that looks very much like the cup in this emoji -- although I am not feeling hyperactive as the picture implies. Obviously it felt important for me to clarify that thing about not being hyperactive...


----------



## Euripides

I hate myself.

Another first impression shattered by social anxiety. 

There's this girl I really like, and look at that, she actually really likes me too. 

There's a first date in two weeks. She's staying over for three days. Yep. That's how fast we got close. We sometimes will even text for 12+ hours non-stop. 

But tonight she wanted to face time. And I have worsening massive social anxiety bordering on agoraphobia in some ways. Worsening because of depression worsening for months in the period up til I met her.

And to top it off, I have a specific phobia about phonecalls and videocalls. 

And I did NOT want to **** this up. 

But I did. I don't need to tell you guys what trying to hold a conversation and be charming and attractive and engaging and fun is like with progressed social anxiety + the other factor + I'm nervous as hell because I like her so much. You can imagine the trainwreck.

I could see and feel her being uncomfortable, disappointed, and finally, annoyed. And I could do nothing to recover from the blank mind of fight/flight/freeze. 

It lasted three and a half agonising hours and I don't know why she kept it up for so long. Maybe hoping that this guy she so liked would turn it around and be like she knew him to be. And then giving up. Ended the call. 

I ****ing hate this disorder and everything else I must suffer. And suffer it I gladly would in silence if outwardly I could function and just be myself. But of course, that's not how it works. 

Ten years. Ten. Years. And still not better. 

I hate myself. 


But, love to you all, any who read this.


----------



## Euripides

Oh, and as soon as the call ended, I ran to the toilet and vommed my guts out.


----------



## Karsten

Humbled.


----------



## TheHeathPractice

Bit of a vicious circle as without sleep the spasms are intensified. Stress and fatigue are known causes. No quick fix but recently I have started taking magnesium and zinc supplements, going for a walk before bed and using breathing techniques and relaxation recordings. Sometimes it works, sometimes I'm awake too.


----------



## cafune

Euripides said:


> But, love to you all, any who read this.


i'm so sorry for your experience /:

love to you, too. sending positive vibes your way~


----------



## Euripides

cafune said:


> i'm so sorry for your experience /:
> 
> love to you, too. sending positive vibes your way~


<3.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Stupid. It's like I feel the need to prove to myself over and over that people don't like me or want me around. So I just keep trying, only to be blatantly ignored again. I need to accept reality, and just be alone and stop trying to fit in.


----------



## XebelRebel

I was very happy with myself earlier on for learning how to cook "to perfection" a specific type of frozen chips with my fan oven. :stu


----------



## harrison

Not too bad thanks - and I'm quite relieved I didn't smash this television when I wanted to. Would have been a pain getting a new one in the current situation.


----------



## funnynihilist

I always lose


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

In a bad mood. I poked my eye yesterday and had a feeling it would get sore todayy and it did. Just my friggin luck seeing as my eye stopped flaring up back in February and it wasnt from poking it. I get so much crap happening to my eye its ridiculous at this point.


----------



## hateliving

Terrible. No sleep.


----------



## Evelin_

I was feeling better but it turned out that it was because I went for a coffee with a friend on Tuesday, the "happy" effect lasted for two days and now I'm back to depression and loneliness


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable


----------



## discopotato

Moved because these people that barely know me went out of their way to make me feel welcome and appreciated. People are good sometimes


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

My eye has been making me feel groggy. Cant wait to go home and sleep.


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> My eye has been making me feel groggy. Cant wait to go home and sleep.


I hope you get some good rest. :squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

Meh


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

The Linux Guy said:


> I hope you get some good rest. :squeeze


Thank you.  I got some good rest.


----------



## incapaz dseguir mintiendo

Have just come back from a birthday party with some friend, it's 4 am here and I am kind of drunk lying in bed. I just realize or have this feeling that I am different and not for good. See other people and can just tell they don't feel the level of anxiety I feel, even when they are not comfortable, it's obvious they are not dying from fear on the inside, they are probaboy as uncomfortable as me, but my panic is more pronounced. Or maybe it's a snowball effect and a past experienced made ordinary things more uncomfortable than necessary, creating more panic and even more uneasyness for thungs that should be bearable.

Whatever, this may be obvious but I just need to get it out, I do it for me, like Walter. And because I feel like this place is one of the few with people like me, everywhere I go everyone seems normal, relaxed, maybe struggling but not in the same way as us. People might be bodered by their stupid problems, maybe financial struggle, but anxiety is different, there's no fix, no way to tackle it, the problem is inside you not out there, people blame you for something you can't control. Is it really my fault? Did I really get into this mess? because it's not easy to end up here, you don't make one small mistake and you are ****ed with irremediable anxiety, you either have to consistently engage in toxic thought patterns or you have already been sentenced since birth and it's not your fkn fault, yet still people think it is, it was avodiable and you should be regretful because you alone dove deep into this pile of ****. 
Wouldn't it be too strong of a coincidence that more than one person in my family struggled with social fkn anxiety? it would certaintly be unlikely that three people ****ed up their lives because they all randomly happened to engage in this detrimental way of thinking.

I feel out of place, I can only feel nearby people that don't differ from me when I am alone. And in this forum I am at home, with beings of my species, and pardon me if I am offending whoever has nothing better to do than read this far on a drunk guy's note, offending you by putting you in the same packagge as me, sorry, not sorry, there's worse things to wprry bout, if you are pffended by a guys text that was written while having an aneursim you have some things to wprk on amd your struggle as partly your fault


----------



## lily

I hope I can get out tomorrow. I want the fresh air and sun and exercise.


----------



## donistired

Like terrible human being


----------



## Crisigv

Unwanted


----------



## Kevin001

Exhausted


----------



## SamanthaStrange

My stuffy nose is driving me mad.


----------



## komorikun

More sleepy attacks. Ugh. No energy. Oh god.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I hope everyone will feel better


I feel alright.


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

Tired! I slept like garbage last night. I hate this feeling.


----------



## Cringy Snowflake

I feel canceled, cast out, ostracized, etc.

To be as melodramatic and hyperbolic as possible -- and in the most cringy way possible -- I feel like Satan being cast out of heaven.

"And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him." - Revelation 12:9

*
*


----------



## funnynihilist

Bad


----------



## cafune

like i could sleep forever.


----------



## aqwsderf

cafune said:


> like i could sleep forever.


I feel this at a deep level


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Just tired of life in general.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Headache


----------



## harrison

I think things are getting a little bit wired.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Uncomfortable.


----------



## Crisigv

Invisible


----------



## PandaBearx

Sad and a little disconnected.


----------



## harrison

Like things are going too fast in my head.


----------



## firelight

Poisonous.


----------



## funnynihilist

Hot, it's 79 degrees in this room.


----------



## CNikki

Went from elated to crying, just like that. Wow.


----------



## trendyfool

Feeling super anxious.


----------



## Perkins

I feel and look disgusting but I'm also excited because I have these resistance bands and a new sweater coming.


----------



## lily

I hope I get to go out tomorrow. I have a goal and it's a nice day


----------



## D'avjo

lily said:


> I hope I get to go out tomorrow. I have a goal and it's a nice day


:wink2:

Have a good weekend


----------



## discopotato

Lonely.


----------



## CNikki

Like I'm going to endure a nice headache while I'm out.


----------



## lily

D'avjo said:


> :wink2:
> 
> Have a good weekend


Thanks, you made my day


----------



## aqwsderf

aqwsderf said:


> I lost at words with friends against @Karsten 2-1
> 
> Life sucks


2-2

I got my revenge >


----------



## blue2

My ovaries hurt 😞


----------



## harrison

Reasonably good I think.


----------



## Crisigv

Abdominal pain and a side of depression


----------



## tehuti88

Crabby and sore. I think dry sockets are setting in and the ibuprofen isn't working well anymore.

I have outdated painkillers from previous dental visits, back when they used to prescribe painkillers, stashed on my bookshelf and I'm seriously contemplating using them.


----------



## reussos

good


----------



## komorikun

Diarrhea.


----------



## Whatswhat

Pensive, a little gloomy


----------



## funnynihilist

komorikun said:


> Diarrhea.


When you're driving down the road and you feel you might explode... diarrhea


----------



## funnynihilist

Teeth still not right


----------



## lily

@D'avjo, I hope you're having a nice weekend too


----------



## CNikki

Upset. Slight bit of anxiety to add onto it.


----------



## AnodyneQuire

Weird. I opened this long forgotten account only to see my ex had posted nonsense. The fact that he was in love with this girl for the whole seven years and how he never mentioned that he was actually in a relationship at that time. With me. I thought it was my fault because I was so busy with all this graduating thing. The liar had been simping with this girl while I was doing my last thesis for college!


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Headache. Cramps. Misery.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I have a nice caffeine buzz and cold air blowing constantly on my completely bald cranial unit.


----------



## A Caged Animal

I feel like......a caged animal.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Excited to go to the lake next week and spend the night.  It's about friggin time.


----------



## tehuti88

tehuti88 said:


> Crabby and sore. I think dry sockets are setting in and the ibuprofen isn't working well anymore.
> 
> I have outdated painkillers from previous dental visits, back when they used to prescribe painkillers, stashed on my bookshelf and I'm seriously contemplating using them.


Been distracted by pain for the past two days. So tired of this, I'm even losing my appetite since my mouth won't stop hurting for long. Warm water, cold water, saltwater, heat pad, none of it's worked. (Oddly, the only time I get consistent relief is while sleeping, but as soon as I wake, BAM, the pain comes back.) I've tried every combo of ibuprofen and acetaminophen and nothing works for the 4hrs it's supposed to. No, today isn't _quite_ as bad as yesterday, but ugh this sucks, especially if it's going to be like this for a WEEK. :cry

And sharp little bony spikes are appearing everywhere. I tried to break one but I guess they're still pretty well embedded, it made my entire chin ache so I left it alone. More have appeared since then. Are my gums shrinking? My palette feels swollen behind where the upper incisors were but it doesn't seem to have gone down much up there. Cold water doesn't affect it. I thought cold would make swelling go down.

The pain will vanish for about a half hour and will be such a relief but then it comes back for an hour or two. Always well before time for the next dose. Moves from area to area and radiates into the palette. It's affecting mostly my upper jaw, except also the socket left behind by a lower wisdom tooth, the only one that really hurt as they pulled it out. That one was near my jaw joint and I have TMD so I figure that just made/makes things worse.

I have a pint of Ben & Jerry's I've been wanting to eat for a long time but I'm too scared that it'll just make it hurt even worse! :cry

Just noticed this Norco I've been eyeballing the past two days is actually from when I got my gallbladder removed in 2013. I never took a single one. All thirty are still in the bottle. I read before that outdated meds can still be useful, just not as potent. It's been seven years...I hope it hasn't lost TOO much potency. I browsed around online about Norco. It's for moderate to moderately severe pain; I'd rate this at its worst as moderate, as much as I hate to admit that. (I don't handle dental pain well.) A dental site says you can combine it with ibuprofen (of course not acetaminophen since that's already in it). It says they're better staggered and since you can take them every 6hrs (I've been taking this ibuprofen every 4hrs because I just can't make it longer, and the old 800mg ibuprofen I got from a previous dental procedure says you can take it every 8hrs, so I figured I can take half that dose every 4hrs at least for now--I have only one of those big ibuprofen left, now), that means you should take a Norco, then three hours later ibuprofen, then three hours later a Norco, etc.

I think I'll try that because I'm so tired of the pain. I don't know what I'm going to do if even an opioid doesn't help.

I wish they'd offered me SockIt! gel but the only place I've ever seen that was at the oral surgeon's and it's like $30-something for a small tube, you can't even buy it on Amazon. And that was when I had just ONE socket to deal with, not a mouthful.

That SockIt! was so wonderful. :cry


----------



## D'avjo

lily said:


> @*D'avjo* , I hope you're having a nice weekend too


Thanks Lily, yeah its been good so far.

Enjoy the rest of yours.


----------



## discopotato

I'm collapsing under stress and pressure and I hate my life.. other than that.. good.


----------



## Crisigv

It's been a bad week overall.


----------



## rabidfoxes

@tehuti88 > that sounds like a nightmare. Can't you contact your dentist/doctor (both!) and tell them you're in agony despite taking the medication? Alleviating pain is in their job description, surely they could prescribe you something better.


----------



## funnynihilist

Another boring weekend


----------



## cafune

like my heart was smushed by someone in cleats. relatedly, like i'm ready to throw in all my towels.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## Graeme1988

Meh! The past week wasn't great for me. I'm not sure this week'll be any different. 

But hey, there's always hope.


----------



## funnynihilist

Tired


----------



## IcedOver

Very depressed and regretful over 20 years wasted at this job (my anniversary is today). Then that's bringing up regret over many other things. So I'm not feeling the hottest at the moment.


----------



## FREEDDAWG

Kinda lost...


----------



## Citrine79

IcedOver said:


> Very depressed and regretful over 20 years wasted at this job (my anniversary is today). Then that's bringing up regret over many other things. So I'm not feeling the hottest at the moment.


I can relate. Today I am feeling an overwhelming amount of sadness due to my job. But also feeling sad about other things as well. When I get down over one thing...it just snowballs from there. I am sitting here staring at my laptop screen on the verge of tears feeling so worthless, disconnected and really sad.


----------



## IcedOver

Citrine79 said:


> I can relate. Today I am feeling an overwhelming amount of sadness due to my job. But also feeling sad about other things as well. When I get down over one thing...it just snowballs from there. I am sitting here staring at my laptop screen on the verge of tears feeling so worthless, disconnected and really sad.


Sorry to hear that. Yes, it's never just one thing but a pattern of behavior that you realize in yourself.

I got my first job a lot later than most, and this one I'm in is actually only the second job I ever had (although I had a third briefly at the same time as this a few years ago). The job has morphed SO much over the years for me, so it's not as if I've been doing the same thing for 20 years. However, I had no direction when I took it and still have no direction. College wasted, has nothing to do with this job, and I regret all the family money spent to put me through college. So many times over the years I would tell myself that I should get another job, that I wouldn't allow myself to get to five years at the place, then ten, then fifteen, then twenty. Where would I go - just another job I'm taking because it fits the type of schedule I want? At the moment I'm stuck and I can't blame it on the virus or anything else, only myself.


----------



## blue2

(>_<) Zzz


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad. Tomorrow is my last day of freedom. I really don't want to go back to work.


----------



## Barakiel

Better now that I've had some coffee, but I can't focus on anything and keep jumping from task to task.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kind of in a bad mood and feel a bit awkward. Can't wait to go on my trip tomorrow away from people. It was a bad idea coming in the living room. Most of the time I stay in my room. Don't feel comfortable going to my room until these guests leave. If I go by the kitchen to get to my room everyone will see me walking by.


----------



## Karsten

A bit confused.


----------



## Shjatyzu

Bad...


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Meh! The past week wasn't great for me. I'm not sure this week'll be any different.
> 
> But hey, there's always hope.


Hope you have a better week this week 

I had a nice walk on the weekend


----------



## XebelRebel

I feel good. My apartment is coming together now as a lovely home where I feel very comfortable. I cooked myself a nice meal this evening which was somewhat complicated but turned out well and tasted good! Also, I have recently enjoyed a nice cup of tea while sitting on my bed and having fun here at this web forum.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Upset. I went all the way to the lake just for it to be closed. Probably cause of this stupid virus. Whatever.


----------



## ShotInTheDark

Like trash can


----------



## PandaBearx

Sleepy


----------



## Fever Dream

Sore.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Sinus headache.


----------



## Steve Foster

Constantly tired. I didn't get out of bed until 5pm.


----------



## Psychoelle

A little drained tbh. Got a lot on my mind and havent been feeling too good. I keep getting requests to make face masks despite trying to finalise my own design. I dont think they realise the pressure is screwing me over as I am too much of a perfectionist.


----------



## donistired

I am tired


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Blah 😒


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Blah &#128530;


Sending some :heart


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

The Linux Guy said:


> Sending some :heart


Thank you. :smile2:


----------



## cafune

like i'm on the up(swing of a wave there must be a surfer term for this that idk)


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Tired of everything. Hopeless.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Extremely agitated.


----------



## blue2

Max sarcasm, she's gonna blow :afr


----------



## funnynihilist

Bad


----------



## Zatch

I am in love... with LOWE'S


----------



## hateliving

Awful. I have pms


----------



## cafune

like from my unfurled limbs flows everything i've ever wanted. i unclench my fists and let everything go to where they were meant to be. and it's right but it doesn't really feel like it. but that's okay.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungover


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Like a piece of wreckage on a stormy sea. Some random piece of a ship that sank and left me behind to bob pointlessly around there.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad


----------



## funnynihilist

WillYouStopDave said:


> Like a piece of wreckage on a stormy sea. Some random piece of a ship that sank and left me behind to bob pointlessly around there.


I like this. I know the feel.


----------



## CNikki

WillYouStopDave said:


> Like a piece of wreckage on a stormy sea. Some random piece of a ship that sank and left me behind to bob pointlessly around there.


 :hug


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> Like a piece of wreckage on a stormy sea. Some random piece of a ship that sank and left me behind to bob pointlessly around there.


Well, that sucks. Hope you feel better. :/

I'm feeling a mixture of nervousness and impatience.


----------



## SparklingWater

Beyond bored. Beyond restless. Trapped. Wishing I'd done things differently 2 weeks ago. Ready for a change.


----------



## That Random Guy

*A Bit Sad*

Feeling a bit sad. Lots of thoughts going on. Decided to quit my company for sort of valid reasons but in the end, it's me running away. (and they didn't have a replacement)

The new job will be similar conditions and maybe worse but it'll be right around the corner rather than ~25 miles out of my way.

I decided not to confess to my crush as the timing was awkward and I didn't feel as though they considered me in the same regard. Had lots of goodbyes and whatnot.

All of this got me thinking about other things, which got me depressed. I want love but I'm not human enough sometimes.


----------



## Karsten

Sleeeepyy. Studying always makes me tired asf. Tea time.


----------



## drummerboy45

Not too good to be honest.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Starving


----------



## funnynihilist

Nice day, nowhere to go


----------



## blue2

OK, sister cut my hair, first time since lockdown, I gave her money to buy electric shaver, turned out pretty well, better than what the pros sometimes done.


----------



## Sekiro

o yeah i gotta get my hair cut


----------



## either/or

Psychic pain in my higher brain


----------



## John Belz

unfortunately not very good


----------



## CNikki

Bitter right now, if I'm honest...


----------



## Crisigv

having a rough evening


----------



## SamanthaStrange

I've been in a bad mood all day. :bah


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Felt like I about had a mini panic attack talking to my boss today. Not sure why. Haven't had one of those in like over 3 years. :S So I felt not so great and feel okay now but a bit bothered by it. I dont like having to talk to her anyways.


----------



## lily

They're allowing a certain amount of people to be together now so I went out with family this weekend and now wear a mask at times and have worn see-through gloves.


----------



## Karsten

This poison ivy rash is slowly spreading across my body. Where the hell in my yard is it growing?


----------



## funnynihilist

Karsten said:


> This poison ivy rash is slowly spreading across my body. Where the hell in my yard is it growing?


Do your cats go out? Maybe they are picking up oil on their fur.


----------



## either/or

Tired. Wish I could sleep like a normal human who is human.


----------



## Zatch

Duped, pooped, could use 2 scoops. &#55356;&#57192;


----------



## EmotionlessThug

Tired as usual.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

drained


----------



## funnynihilist

Im tired too


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Persephone The Dread said:


> drained


It's so weird though like I didn't sleep at all maybe (even though I did) or? Just feel terrible.


----------



## blue2

Tired, working a few 12 hour days on a job my cousin found me, might as well try to kill myself working, what else would I be doing. 

If I live I'll have some extra money to buy something nice, so it's a win, win scenario, not much time for alot else though, but that's probably for the best aswell, the devil makes work for idle hands :wink


----------



## blue2

Persephone The Dread said:


> It's so weird though like I didn't sleep at all maybe (even though I did) or? Just feel terrible.


Do you get out much ? Maybe some fresh air & exercise or something might help.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty amazing, I just got back from a week long stint at the hospital. Last Monday my stomach started hurting horribly, it got to the point where I was curled up in a ball for nearly 24 hours moaning in agony until I felt an explosion of pain fill around my chest and decided that not having health insurance was no longer worth it.


My wife took me to the hospital where it was determined that my appendix had burst, I was shortly taking to have it removed (by a robot, no **** - how cool is that?) Unfortunately, it seems that my intestines had become flooded with blood, so the next day I spent a large period of time puking up black liquid that looked like it had coffee grains in the, they had to shove a tube down my nose into my stomach to allow me to slowly drain the black gunk from my body, and holy hell there was a lot. 



Then, when it finally did clear, my intestines wouldn't wake up :lol There is a technical term for it, illius something or or another. They just sat there doing nothing, so then the hospital had to fill them up (through the nose in my tube) with some of the most foul liquid, I had to hold that crap in my stomach for hours upon hour, trying my best not to puke while holding on to any sanity I had left. When that was finished, I had to do a similar thing the next day.


Yeah, not the greatest of weeks, but it was an experience. I've no more appendixes left to explode on me now :lol My legs and belly look really weird, due to all of the liquids I've had pumped into my system, but that is only temporary. I think I'll write a blog about it later one when I'm feeling less lazy. It was quite the trip, and a **** load had happened in a week.


Now to see if I get covid19 in the next week or two :lol




For now, I'm sipping away at a nice told Dunking' Donuts Iced Coffee  Life is pretty ****ing good.


Edit:
Needless to say, my body is still filled with antibiotics, I still probably have some morphine, and now coffee, I'm sure the wording of my post is horrible, sorry for all of the typos and grammatical mistakes.


----------



## aqwsderf

@zonebox I was wondering yesterday where my fellow Floridian has been. Hope you have a speedy recovery!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Soaking wet in that rain. Wow! My clothes are soaked and my socks.


----------



## zonebox

@*aqwsderf*

Thank you aqwsderf  I'm pretty sure the worst of it is behind me now, I'm feeling really good right now, my stomach is feeling much better.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

@zonebox

Wow! That sounds terrible! Like something out of a nightmare. Glad you made it dude. The same thing happened to my grandmother in the late 70s (you can imagine what hell that must have been with the medical technology of the time) and she lived into the early 2000s. It was Alzheimer's that finally got her.

It's easy to take health for granted until something goes really wrong like that.


----------



## CNikki

@zonebox, whoa. A bit of a miracle that you survived due to the appendix burst and how long of a process it took. Rest up, and yes, enjoy that coffee!


----------



## zonebox

It was so crazy @WillYouStopDave, I can only imagine how much worst it would have been in the 70s. The growth of our medical establishment and what they are capable is really inspiring at times, I was talking to one of the RNs and he was telling me how it only takes a few hours to recover from a knee implant, that to me is just amazing. I'm going to try to convince my mom to get hers done now because she can barely walk around. We definitely have it a lot easier now than our ancestors did when it comes to a hosts of health issues, and am glad to have benefited from it.

On a positive note, even though I don't have health insurance I did learn while I was in the hospital that I qualify for share of cost medicaid. I haven't gotten all of the bills yet, but I had a few complications that were rare, required a few cat scans, x-rays, tons of antibiotics and other medicines, my appendix had already burst before I got to the hospital so I was already in sepsis, I can only imagine everything they had to do to keep me alive - it probably is going to be over $100,000. Thankfully, it is all going to be paid for.


----------



## zonebox

@*CNikki* I thought I was a goner at one point, it was so strange. I had a bunch of doctors and nurses around me in a frenzy, because my vitals started to drop, my body temp shot down, it was so weird. This was after the initial surgery, and I guess I had some sort of bleeding occuring in my intestinal track that had filled it up, it was really kind of a weird feeling. I was pretty sure that was it for me, but I think I may have been overreacting.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

blue2 said:


> Do you get out much ? Maybe some fresh air & exercise or something might help.


Well I have been going outside, but I've probably been getting less exercise overall since this virus started although not really.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

@zonebox

I've occasionally worried about mine randomly bursting. That sounds serious, glad you're OK.

So wait did the robot do the surgery? I didn't know they had surgery robots.


----------



## zonebox

@*Persephone The Dread* Thanks  I've had a bit of a fear of it happening in the past as well, it always sounded like such a miserable way to die.

I really had hoped it was entirely driven by AI, but there was a human operator behind the robot.










The doctor was aided by the robot, the incision is actually on my left chest, there are actually a few of them there. I'm not sure if he had to go in a few times, from different angles, but the incisions are all pretty small, I think the robot is used to navigate the body, to get to the appendix and chop it up into little pieces. It probably makes it a lot easier for people, but I never did do very much research. I was kind of interested in checking out the robot, but before I even got to see it they put me under and I don't recall very much.


----------



## blue2

@zonebox that sounds like an ordeal, my parents used to talk about a neighbours kid who died from burst appendix back in the 1950's.

His father was old school abusive slave driver type & kept him out in the fields gathering potatoes till he died, thought he was making excuses, at least we live in better times.


----------



## zonebox

@blue2 it is sad how disposable people were considered back in the day, I don't think I would have liked the 50s very much.


----------



## Citrine79

Lazy, unmotivated...all around miserable. Wish I had something to look forward to as that would maybe help my apathy and ease the misery I am stuck in.


----------



## BeautyandRage

Proud of myself. I was never taught to drive, so I taught myself how to drive and now drive better than half the people on the road within such a short time. I had to learn quickly. It was terrifying though learning to drive in so much traffic at high speeds. Sometimes traffic is moving 80+++ mph. Then there’s those overlapping bridges that curve and then sometimes an 18 wheeler is next to me on the bridge then you have to merge onto the expressway literally 3 different times. Jesus. But I’m pretty good at driving. Today was sad though, I saw a dead dog, I guess someone put him on the side of the road though, he looked like he was hit but not really visible wounds so I don’t think he was ran over. I swerved to give more room and wanted to cry. It was so sad. Reminded me of this one time on the bus we passed someone who got hit and was dead. :sigh


----------



## CNikki

Tired. Even felt it after waking up this morning and actually had an adequate amount of sleep.


----------



## Fever Dream

Sore, again. If my legs literally turned to jelly, I wouldn't be surprised.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Anxious. Trapped.


----------



## SplendidBob

SamanthaStrange said:


> Anxious. Trapped.


Hope you are ok Samantha. Big hug to you.

I feel trapped atm too. And lonely. Very painful.


----------



## lily

lonely is not the word, it's unfulfilled


----------



## hateliving

Terrible. Lots of pain


----------



## cafune

like my brain fluid is gushing out my ears. i need two bowls, stat.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kinda disappointed I might not be able to go to NYC with this coronavirus. I'm in a state where it. isnt bad and I can wear my mask buuuut idk if it will be worth it. I'll probably go on a road trip to DC I guess. But then there's protests. Ugh. 2020 sucks.


----------



## lily

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Kinda disappointed I might not be able to go to NYC with this coronavirus. I'm in a state where it. isnt bad and I can wear my mask buuuut idk if it will be worth it. I'll probably go on a road trip to DC I guess. But then there's protests. Ugh. 2020 sucks.


I hear on the news that the US is #1 highest in coronavirus  and that Trump is being complained about in handling it and that there's Joe Biden to vote for.


----------



## funnynihilist

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Kinda disappointed I might not be able to go to NYC with this coronavirus. I'm in a state where it. isnt bad and I can wear my mask buuuut idk if it will be worth it. I'll probably go on a road trip to DC I guess. But then there's protests. Ugh. 2020 sucks.


I'm supposed to be making a trip to upstate NY next month and now NY is restricting visitors from certain states. Mine is not on the restrictions list....yet. But since nobody wears a mask here anymore cases are spiking. 
I don't know if it will be possible to do anything this year.
It's a giant piece of suck.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> I hear on the news that the US is #1 highest in coronavirus  and that Trump is being complained about in handling it and that there's Joe Biden to vote for.


It's upsetting cause the flu kills more people a year from what I've read and I hear these shutdowns could go on for over a year. Eventually, I'm just gonna say screw it and go on a trip somewhere. Of course whenever I have the money and means of transportation something, keeps me from having fun. :sigh Then, people want to look down on you for doing one thing wrong with doing your part to prevent the spread like they're some kind of hero. I think a mask and hand washing and keeping your distance should be more than enough tbh. I hope I can go out and do some stuff. DC would be safer but even if I go to NYC, I can take the preventative measures. It just sounds so fun and surreal to go there. It would be a different story if I wasn't doing anything at all to prevent the spread. I had flu like symptoms in February and never had the flu before so I still think it was Covid-19.

I'm not supposed to get into politics in non political threads so I'll just say that I hope I can go on my NYC trip this year. If not, there's still other places. Hopefully, you can get out and enjoy doing things, too.
@funnynihilist I know the feel. It's an utter disappointment. I'm tempted to go to NYC and drive there just so I. could see what it's like there even if I cant do nothing but that would be a waste of money doing nothing but staying in a motel. lol


----------



## lily

PurplePeopleEater said:


> It's upsetting cause the flu kills more people a year from what I've read and I hear these shutdowns could go on for over a year. Eventually, I'm just gonna say screw it and go on a trip somewhere. Of course whenever I have the money and means of transportation something, keeps me from having fun. :sigh Then, people want to look down on you for doing one thing wrong with doing your part to prevent the spread like they're some kind of hero. I think a mask and hand washing and keeping your distance should be more than enough tbh. I hope I can go out and do some stuff. DC would be safer but even if I go to NYC, I can take the preventative measures. It just sounds so fun and surreal to go there. It would be a different story if I wasn't doing anything at all to prevent the spread. I had flu like symptoms in February and never had the flu before so I still think it was Covid-19.
> 
> I'm not supposed to get into politics in non political threads so I'll just say that I hope I can go on my NYC trip this year. If not, there's still other places. Hopefully, you can get out and enjoy doing things, too.
> @funnynihilist I know the feel. It's an utter disappointment. I'm tempted to go to NYC and drive there just so I. could see what it's like there even if I cant do nothing but that would be a waste of money doing nothing but staying in a motel. lol


it's hard not to get into this topic a little with my response since it is global but thanks for your wishes. I wish you the best


----------



## funnynihilist

PurplePeopleEater said:


> @funnynihilist I know the feel. It's an utter disappointment. I'm tempted to go to NYC and drive there just so I. could see what it's like there even if I cant do nothing but that would be a waste of money doing nothing but staying in a motel. lol


That's the other thing, driving in NYC looks very hard. Probably best to park outside the city and take a cab or subway in. Unless you have nerves of steel and a great GPS.


----------



## komorikun

Yeah, 2020 is not a good year for travel. Nope, nope. Even if you can get to wherever you want to go, it won't be much fun with all the restrictions and things closed. NYC means taking the subway......eeks.


----------



## Crisigv

I want to die. I have no one to rely on.


----------



## Karsten

Headache. Ouch. I want someone to run their fingers along the grooves of my brain.


----------



## funnynihilist

Karsten said:


> Headache. Ouch. I want someone to run their fingers along the grooves of my brain.


Only if you buy me dinner first :teeth


----------



## BeautyandRage

Ashamed


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> it's hard not to get into this topic a little with my response since it is global but thanks for your wishes. I wish you the best


You're welcome.  
@funnynihilist Yea, probably. A cab would be expensive but a subway wouldn't. Plus, anyone that goes there will be quarantined for 14 days and I cant be stuck there for 2 weeks when I have to go back to work. I'm paranoid about that happening even though I live in Georgia. It could happen any day with my state. Going to go on a road trip somewhere else.


----------



## XebelRebel

Crisigv said:


> I want to die. I have no one to rely on.


Take care of yourself.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Bad.


----------



## SparklingWater

Overwhelmed. Lots of cleaning to do. And so confused re: something at work.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like I just got visited by a dementor.


----------



## lily

I feel down bc my sister got sick and now we can't go out together for now


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Better than usual.


----------



## cafune

like a yoga instructor n_n


----------



## aqwsderf

I wish I could just stop feeling. Sometimes I'll start hating myself and go down a rabbit hole of all the things I find wrong with me.

This doesn't happen often but when it does, it makes my chest ache.


----------



## CNikki

Like I wish I could give the excuse of being hungover.


----------



## harrison

I'm alright - except for the leftover of a migraine. I must have been talking a bit fast or something because my wife instantly starts asking me if I'm okay.


----------



## SamanthaStrange

Pretty crappy, it's hot and humid, and I have a headache. Bored, depressed, tired of life, the usual.


----------



## dune87

Grateful for a lot of things.


----------



## aqwsderf

Crappy I guess. 

Also what's up with people's moods.
Mom asks me to try on same pants and I say no not now. And her response is "you deserve to have bad parents"

It's exhausting to deal with mood changes


----------



## either/or

Like I want a tangerine. And I don't have any tangerines. So not that great.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

aqwsderf said:


> Crappy I guess.
> 
> Also what's up with people's moods.
> Mom asks me to try on same pants and I say no not now. And her response is "you deserve to have bad parents"
> 
> It's exhausting to deal with mood changes


Wow, that was uncalled for. I'm sorry you were told that. :/

My mother would never say something like that but when I was like 15 she slapped me cause I didnt want. to go to church. That was the only time she slapped me, though. But my dad on the other hand...


----------



## aqwsderf

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Wow, that was uncalled for. I'm sorry you were told that. &#128533;
> 
> My mother would never say something like that but when I was like 15 she slapped me cause I didnt want. to go to church. That was the only time she slapped me, though. But my dad on the other hand...


My mom has verbal outbursts like this every once in a while. I don't know if she's aware of what she's saying or why she's saying it. But she'll go from 0 to 100 real quick &#128533; it'll catch me off guard

Your dad was rough?


----------



## EBecca

weird, feeling some anxiety/restlessness for whatever reason


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

aqwsderf said:


> My mom has verbal outbursts like this every once in a while. I don't know if she's aware of what she's saying or why she's saying it. But she'll go from 0 to 100 real quick &#128533; it'll catch me off guard
> 
> Your dad was rough?


Well, I guess it's okay that it's only every once in awhile but still sucks hearing that from a parent. Is she usually a calm person?

I'll just say he choked me and my sister once, he gossips, and seems like a perfectionist. He likes to keep up appearances for people to make it seem like he can never do any wrong. The last time I saw him he got mad cause my uncle doesnt like eating vienna sausages which is a dumb thing to get mad about. For one, they're unhealthy and for two, they dont taste good unless. it's the spicy kind imo. Most people dont even eat them. I was pressured to get good grades in HS, too so I spent hours doing homework and studying. But he was abusive and an alcoholic. I think he still is one. :/ For the longest time, I thought things were getting better until the last time I saw him. He told me I abused my last vehicle I had even though old vehicles have to get fixed from time to time.


----------



## lily

I will be getting a haircut and going for a walk in the park! :yay  :grin2:


----------



## aqwsderf

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Well, I guess it's okay that it's only every once in awhile but still sucks hearing that from a parent. Is she usually a calm person?
> 
> I'll just say he choked me and my sister once, he gossips, and seems like a perfectionist. He likes to keep up appearances for people to make it seem like he can never do any wrong. The last time I saw him he got mad cause my uncle doesnt like eating vienna sausages which is a dumb thing to get mad about. For one, they're unhealthy and for two, they dont taste good unless. it's the spicy kind imo. Most people dont even eat them. I was pressured to get good grades in HS, too so I spent hours doing homework and studying. But he was abusive and an alcoholic. I think he still is one. &#128533; For the longest time, I thought things were getting better until the last time I saw him. He told me I abused my last vehicle I had even though old vehicles have to get fixed from time to time.


Yeah it comes and goes, in waves sometimes. But it's always very sudden. One minute she's okay the next minute she snaps and says something like that. But my parents have never really been physical. It's more verbal or I guess psychological. Like my dad has gone 2-3 months without talking to me over something minor. I'm sure that kind of stuff leaves its trauma.

Sorry you experienced that. Do you still speak with or see your dad? I would stay away


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

aqwsderf said:


> Yeah it comes and goes, in waves sometimes. But it's always very sudden. One minute she's okay the next minute she snaps and says something like that. But my parents have never really been physical. It's more verbal or I guess psychological. Like my dad has gone 2-3 months without talking to me over something minor. I'm sure that kind of stuff leaves its trauma.
> 
> Sorry you experienced that. Do you still speak with or see your dad? I would stay away


Verbal abuse can be as bad as physical abuse so I know the feel. Wow, that's crazy to go that long without talking over something small. I dont think I could deal with someone snapping at me. It would be so unexpected. :squeeze I'm sorry.

I haven't talked to my dad in almost two months. He never calls but I feel like he manipulates me with gifts. I researched it online and some parents do that, which was odd to find out. I appreciate the gifts but it doesnt help much when a dad has left me with trauma. It's why I feel like I have to be a perfectionist at my job. My sisters see him for every single holiday. Not just Christmas or Thanksgiving. It must be exhausting. I think he wants everyone to be over there for every holiday they celebrate. He got really verbal with my oldest sister only once and that was when I was like 17 years old I think. But she seems to love him like crazy. My other sister and me, though aren't as crazy about him. I'm staying away as much as I can but it feels almost obligating to see him once in a blue moon since he gave me his old vehicle. 2 of my sisters love him to death and me and my other sister dont want to see him so it goes half and half. Two of my sisters that I know of never got abused physically and they're more successful so I think that's why. I got threatened with his gun and got my head hit against a wall so it was horrible to go through. I don't go a day without thinking about it honestly. I still think it will affect me from time to time. At least I got into a better situation after getting kicked out.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

confused

also stressed/anxious/overwhelmed etc. Don't really want to talk to my dad on the phone if he decides to call today.


----------



## Zatch

Jazzy baby.


----------



## JustSmileZee

Empty, anxious, nervous. It isn’t the best at the moment but at least health wise I’m ok


----------



## lily

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Verbal abuse can be as bad as physical abuse so I know the feel. Wow, that's crazy to go that long without talking over something small. I dont think I could deal with someone snapping at me. It would be so unexpected. :squeeze I'm sorry.
> 
> I haven't talked to my dad in almost two months. He never calls but I feel like he manipulates me with gifts. I researched it online and some parents do that, which was odd to find out. I appreciate the gifts but it doesnt help much when a dad has left me with trauma. It's why I feel like I have to be a perfectionist at my job. My sisters see him for every single holiday. Not just Christmas or Thanksgiving. It must be exhausting. I think he wants everyone to be over there for every holiday they celebrate. He got really verbal with my oldest sister only once and that was when I was like 17 years old I think. But she seems to love him like crazy. My other sister and me, though aren't as crazy about him. I'm staying away as much as I can but it feels almost obligating to see him once in a blue moon since he gave me his old vehicle. 2 of my sisters love him to death and me and my other sister dont want to see him so it goes half and half. Two of my sisters that I know of never got abused physically and they're more successful so I think that's why. I got threatened with his gun and got my head hit against a wall so it was horrible to go through. I don't go a day without thinking about it honestly. I still think it will affect me from time to time. At least I got into a better situation after getting kicked out.


Woah, these things must be hard to deal with  :squeeze to aqwsderf too


----------



## Great Expectations

Committed.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> Woah, these things must be hard to deal with  :squeeze to aqwsderf too


It still haunts me to this day some but not as bad as it did for the first 4 years. When I think about it, I cringe at how unbearable it was. Thanks for the hug.


----------



## aqwsderf

PurplePeopleEater said:


> It still haunts me to this day some but not as bad as it did for the first 4 years. When I think about it, I cringe at how unbearable it was. Thanks for the hug.


Yeah that's horrible and does not compare at all to what I've experienced. Some people are just not fit to be parents. I'm glad you were able to get out when you could.


----------



## lily

PurplePeopleEater said:


> It still haunts me to this day some but not as bad as it did for the first 4 years. When I think about it, I cringe at how unbearable it was. Thanks for the hug.


I'm glad you feel better now and you're welcome


----------



## lily

I have to go to sleep soon and I hope to have a nice day tomorrow


----------



## andy1984

lily said:


> I have to go to sleep soon and I hope to have a nice day tomorrow


i hope you do too


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

aqwsderf said:


> Yeah that's horrible and does not compare at all to what I've experienced. Some people are just not fit to be parents. I'm glad you were able to get out when you could.


Thanks, I'm glad too. Only thing is not being able to see my mother much but I usually meet her up somewhere where he's not around. 
@lily Thank you.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

@aqwsderf 
@PurplePeopleEater

"hugs"


----------



## zonebox

I decided to mow the lawn yesterday, and managed to tear open a wound that was healing in my chest. Now it hurts every time I try to move.. This sucks..


----------



## lily

andy1984 said:


> i hope you do too


Thanks


----------



## cafune

like i have a deep sigh rumbling in my belly.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I am feeling alright.


----------



## Girlinterrupted333

Detached


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Not good at all. This doesn't feel real.


----------



## zonebox

@iAmCodeMonkey

I hate that feeling, I hope everything is okay on your side of the screen dude and if not I hope things get better soon for you.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

zonebox said:


> @*iAmCodeMonkey*
> 
> I hate that feeling, I hope everything is okay on your side of the screen dude and if not I hope things get better soon for you.


Thank you for your support. There was a death in the family yesterday and we only found out that it was a homicide earlier. https://www.guelphtoday.com/police/...stody-following-homicide-near-belwood-2536180


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shocked. My non-dependable worker has been pretty dependable for over a month now. She said she would work my one week vacation in September and I get my three days off next week. Surprised she hasn't started slacking...yet. Only called in once for me the past two months cause her car wouldn't start. I'll see how long this lasts. As long as I get my one week vacation, I'll be fine with it but hope she continues to be someone I can rely on. I did not like having to come in on my off days like 2 times a month or have to stay in longer than I was supposed to work like 6 times a month.


----------



## harrison

Horrible.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Ignored constantly.


----------



## megatheriidae

I feel like a bad person.


----------



## lily

an afterwards depressing day! Had an argument w/ my mom bc she was upset of me having made a mistake of buying a supplement that I didn't have knowledge about until later and then bought another one of the right one in which the person actually told me it was the one you should get. I couldn't have known unless someone told me and after my mom told me not to talk to her. it feels depressing bc I don't know if she's sad about something I said in the argument bc she told me that she doesn't want to cook but I have to lower 1 of my medication this year to see if I have enough motivation to learn to cook the things she cooks so I said I was disabled. I guess she could be better now. just felt vibes of gloom as if it's coming from her! I did the dishes today, boiled sth for her dinner and made her a sandwich for tomorrow so I don't know what's going to happen these days, she said that if I don't finish the first one I bought then she's not going to cook or buy anything for me in which I told her I can't bc I found that the green tea in it made me jittery in which she said she doesn't care and that I bought many supplements before in which after I didn't finish which was before but not nowadays, nowadays I have taken all my supplements. There's just 1 that both of us can take that I stopped for a while due to taking this new supplement but recently took 1 and which is due in 2023. Ok I'm done getting this out, sometimes she will change her mind but I don't know


----------



## leaf in the wind

Desperately lonely


----------



## Blue Dino

Desperate for some solitude.


----------



## either/or

Soooo tired...why does my body not sleep when its tired. I do not get it.


----------



## lily

it's better today. My mom is talking to me today but didn't cook, she said I need punishment and I told her that I cleaned the house, incl today, and she didn't cook so she saved money already


----------



## harrison

Terribly tired - bit elevated this morning now I'm crashing. All the stress of the last few days.


----------



## hateliving

Terrible. Too much pain. Sick of it.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Really depressed. How did life become like this?


----------



## Crisigv

depressed


----------



## lily

things have settled down now. My mom warned me next time if I do what I did again then to move out with sister. I said 'I know'. I will do my best and I know what I should do better next time.


----------



## wmu'14

not good


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

lily said:


> things have settled down now. My mom warned me next time if I do what I did again then to move out with sister. I said 'I know'. I will do my best and I know what I should do better next time.


:squeeze Sorry to hear. Sounds like you didnt do anything.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Cold


----------



## tehuti88

Ignorant and dumb and like a bother to everyone I come in contact with.


----------



## lily

PurplePeopleEater said:


> :squeeze Sorry to hear. Sounds like you didnt do anything.


Thanks for your comfort, she's probably just stressed out w/ money coz she spent tons on me and said she works so hard and I bought many supplements (b4) and didn't finish them and then now I did it again so I can understand


----------



## TinyFlutter

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Thank you for your support. There was a death in the family yesterday and we only found out that it was a homicide earlier. https://www.guelphtoday.com/police/...stody-following-homicide-near-belwood-2536180


I'm very sorry for your loss :squeeze :squeeze. I was just listening to a podcast with a criminal behavioural analyst talking about domestic incidents and how a percentage of those incidents leads to homicide, and I couldn't imagine what the families are going through coping with loss of loved ones. My thoughts and prayers goes to you, and I hope you and your family are surrounded by lots of support and love during this time.

(While reading the article, I noticed it happened in Guelph which is less than an hour away from me too, though I hadn't heard it in my city's local news.)


----------



## TinyFlutter

lily said:


> things have settled down now. My mom warned me next time if I do what I did again then to move out with sister. I said 'I know'. I will do my best and I know what I should do better next time.


I'm glad to hear things have settled down and gotten better with your mom, I'm keeping you in prayer :squeeze.

Thank you for your messages, I appreciate them. I apologize for not getting back yet, things have been a bit hectic over here, but I will send a reply soon .


----------



## lily

TinyFlutter said:


> I'm glad to hear things have settled down and gotten better with your mom, I'm keeping you in prayer :squeeze.
> 
> Thank you for your messages, I appreciate them. I apologize for not getting back yet, things have been a bit hectic over here, but I will send a reply soon .


Thank you!  I wonder what has been hectic, r you talking about the coronavirus?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

TinyFlutter said:


> I'm very sorry for your loss :squeeze :squeeze. I was just listening to a podcast with a criminal behavioural analyst talking about domestic incidents and how a percentage of those incidents leads to homicide, and I couldn't imagine what the families are going through coping with loss of loved ones. My thoughts and prayers goes to you, and I hope you and your family are surrounded by lots of support and love during this time.
> 
> (While reading the article, I noticed it happened in Guelph which is less than an hour away from me too, though I hadn't heard it in my city's local news.)


Thanks for your support! We are handling it well, and the man responsible is in custody now.


----------



## slyfox

Depressed, feel like I've wasted so much of my life. My younger days are all gone.


----------



## Citrine79

Hopeless, as always. But feeling extra miserable today as it is a certain time of the month which brings migraines and pain with it. My area is basically in an unprecedented heat wave right now..9 straight days of 90+ temps and humidity..yesterday it was 97 degrees..which is nuts because we never get that warm here..Most summers we are lucky to hit 90 once or twice. The curse of 2020 strikes again!


----------



## SplendidBob

Not the best.

For some reason am missing the ex a lot the last few days. I broke up with her, but I had to. I think I miss her company more than anything, but can't reach out or anything like that. Its a weird mix tho.. It brings up the memories of when she broke up with me, and as time goes on they kinda "fuse" into one.. so its just one big old mess in my mind atm. So much stuff whirring through my mind, still, after 4 months.

Got all the stress of applying for this job too, and really not sure I will be able to handle it.. my mental health worst its been for a long time.

Gyms opening up soon again here in the uk though, at least. I had actually started talking to people in mine just before the lockdown.. ill start again, though i suppose i cant because of distancing lol.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Overheated and constipated.


----------



## CNikki

Took a pretty deep sleep of a nap earlier and the effects of feeling somewhat paralyzed lingers. Could also be from the weird dreams I've had during it? :stu


----------



## Crisigv

Tired and in pain. But thankful for the weekend.


----------



## NoLife93

Drained of energy.


----------



## Replicante

Lonely.


----------



## Graeme1988

Raging, as the saying goes in Scotland. In other words, I'm really angry. :mum


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Raging, as the saying goes in Scotland. In other words, I'm really angry. :mum


I try every day to stay awake from one of the medications I've tried from before and am taking and I have to wait another few months to get it down to hopefully bearable that I don't have to do this much of drinking coffee/teas so now today I somehow went too far on it and I feel jittery/a bit anxious.  this should go away but I wish soon. What r you angry about?


----------



## fluorish

I’m annoyed my sister or mum is not taking this current lockdown in Melbourne seriously I have a duty of care to my grandmother and if they keep going I don’t know what to do fkn annoying.


----------



## cafune

like the wind blows against all my sides; let me walk pls.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> What r you angry about?


My oldest sister was giving me and our mother attitude the other day, Friday, there. She stormed off in the huff because I was more interested in getting my computer sorted than talking to me. So, trembling with temper, I just typed off an furious, sarcastic, expletive-laden screed of an email, which I meant every word of. Saying how I was fed-up with having to come running every time the family call on me, how I'm always having to appease them and keep 'em happy. 

And I ended it by saying that I genuinely don't care if she never speaks to me again, as she wouldn't be the first family member who just stopped speaking to me. And I don't, because I don't want, or need, people in life who just mess me about.



lily said:


> I try every day to stay awake from one of the medications I've tried from before and am taking and I have to wait another few months to get it down to hopefully bearable that I don't have to do this much of drinking coffee/teas so now today I somehow went too far on it and I feel jittery/a bit anxious.  this should go away but I wish soon.


I hope you feel better soon, lily.


----------



## Euripides

Respite.

Give me. Just one small moment of respite. And I shall move the Earth. 

Please please please. Let me have just one moment of peace and someone who cares about me the way I care about them. 

All I need is to breathe. To be touched by a pinkie. I need so very very very little yet still I remain starved and on the brink. I don't understand. Why. I only ask bread and water. For years now. Endless. 

Endless catch 22.

Give me respite. Or give me nightfall. 

Meanwhile, I will continue to toil for zero reason.


----------



## cafune

like a dollop of fraudulence.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Dehydrated


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> My oldest sister was giving me and our mother attitude the other day, Friday, there. She stormed off in the huff because I was more interested in getting my computer sorted than talking to me. So, trembling with temper, I just typed off an furious, sarcastic, expletive-laden screed of an email, which I meant every word of. Saying how I was fed-up with having to come running every time the family call on me, how I'm always having to appease them and keep 'em happy.
> 
> And I ended it by saying that I genuinely don't care if she never speaks to me again, as she wouldn't be the first family member who just stopped speaking to me. And I don't, because I don't want, or need, people in life who just mess me about.
> 
> I hope you feel better soon, lily.


Ok it sounds good, it sounds like you finally let it out, all out how you feel to her and thank you. I don't feel jittery/a bit anxious anymore.


----------



## cafune

rn like there's a lake of anxiety and dread in my belly basement; i'm waiting to see if it's drainable or if i need to add it to the map of my body's topography.


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

Increasingly alienated from people by the day. But also cutting negativity out of my life once and for all. God only knows I just don't need it atm.


----------



## aqwsderf

I just don't feel good. And it's like there's no one I can talk to


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Of course this is the crap I have to deal with after my 3 day vacation. Machine company cant even fix my pricing machine at a minimum wage job. It's 2020. GTFOH. What am I supposed to do now? Not wrap anything while I work?


----------



## SunshineSam218

I'm feeling pretty lost right now...


----------



## CNikki

Confused on many levels.


----------



## Care2018

relaxed


----------



## either/or

Dysphoric


----------



## Crisigv

Meh


----------



## NoLife93

Lately i feel really low and sad.


----------



## Kevin001

Conflicted


----------



## leaf in the wind

Upset, lonely, helpless, desperate.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> Ok it sounds good, it sounds like you finally let it out, all out how you feel to her


Aye, but she didn't take it too well, me saying how I felt. Because I said about how I feel I've always gotta coming run regards. I never mention that I was annoyed that she changed her plan to help me tidy me room again, the day before we were actually going to get that done. Then she had the nerve to email me back asking if I'd care if she wasn't here anymore. _Ugh! Ah hate when my family resort to that on me_. I still haven't apologised for sending that email, and I don't know if ah should? I mean, what I said in that email really needed to be said.



lily said:


> and thank you. I don't feel jittery/a bit anxious anymore.


Glad to hear that your feeling better, lily.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad. I'm not sure if my life will ever come together.


----------



## discopotato

Furious


----------



## TryingMara

Down


----------



## Crisigv

Better than this time yesterday.


----------



## either/or

So god dammed tired.


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Aye, but she didn't take it too well, me saying how I felt. Because I said about how I feel I've always gotta coming run regards. I never mention that I was annoyed that she changed her plan to help me tidy me room again, the day before we were actually going to get that done. Then she had the nerve to email me back asking if I'd care if she wasn't here anymore. _Ugh! Ah hate when my family resort to that on me_. I still haven't apologised for sending that email, and I don't know if ah should? I mean, what I said in that email really needed to be said.
> 
> Glad to hear that your feeling better, lily.


Thank you.  Well to that question she asked about if you'd care if she wasn't here anymore, I don't know if you're talking about if she wasn't alive or if she didn't come over but either way, I'd say you should say that you do care but there are things b/t us that we need to resolve so I also don't think you need to apologize for what you said. All the best and take care.


----------



## caelle

The only single good thing about getting a headache is how grateful and relieved I am once the headache is gone. The things that bothered me pre headache don't bother me as much. I'm just glad to not be in agony


----------



## WillYouStopDave

caelle said:


> The only single good thing about getting a headache is how grateful and relieved I am once the headache is gone. The things that bothered me pre headache don't bother me as much. I'm just glad to not be in agony


 Same. I have that thought pattern where once the headache has been gone for a few hours I kind of lose the exact memory of the experience of how bad it really was until the next one hits and then it all comes flooding back and the residual mental scarring of all the hundreds (thousands maybe) of headaches that came before are stacked on top of the one I have presently.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I have a headache.


----------



## blue2

Persephone The Dread said:


> I have a headache.


Dehydrated ? &#129300;


----------



## Persephone The Dread

blue2 said:


> Dehydrated ? &#129300;


I don't think so, I messed up my sleeping pattern again yesterday which probably didn't help and then it happens sometimes for hormonal reasons. I very rarely get headaches except when I'm on my period. I drink water pretty much compulsively, it's the only positive habit I probably have lol.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Unshakably depressed and lonely. Am I 16 again?


----------



## harrison

Much better than yesterday although my head feels like it's been run over by a recreational vehicle.


----------



## TryingMara

Nervous, worried, stressed.


----------



## The Linux Guy

Extremely Sad.


----------



## harrison

leaf in the wind said:


> Unshakably depressed and lonely. Am I 16 again?


I felt like that yesterday too. It's weird - when it hits me it's literally like my entire world is coming to an end and everything is black and hopeless.

Then today it's gone and I'm getting manic. I can feel it and my wife can tell when she tries to talk to me. (I need to slowly increase my medication)

I hope you're feeling better soon anyway. Hang in there.


----------



## aqwsderf

I've been having tension headaches (just a dull feeling in my head) for the past 3 days or so. I'm not really prone to headaches so I'm wondering if I have Covid


----------



## leaf in the wind

harrison said:


> I felt like that yesterday too. It's weird - when it hits me it's literally like my entire world is coming to an end and everything is black and hopeless.
> 
> Then today it's gone and I'm getting manic. I can feel it and my wife can tell when she tries to talk to me. (I need to slowly increase my medication)
> 
> I hope you're feeling better soon anyway. Hang in there.


The world (or my world) coming to an end would be a welcome relief. Instead it just feels like an endless road of bleak.


----------



## lily

harrison said:


> I felt like that yesterday too. It's weird - when it hits me it's literally like my entire world is coming to an end and everything is black and hopeless.
> 
> Then today it's gone and I'm getting manic. I can feel it and my wife can tell when she tries to talk to me. (I need to slowly increase my medication)
> 
> I hope you're feeling better soon anyway. Hang in there.


:squeeze


----------



## AllGlad

aqwsderf said:


> I've been having tension headaches (just a dull feeling in my head) for the past 3 days or so. I'm not really prone to headaches so I'm wondering if I have Covid


I have had headaches since Wednesday and I normally dont have headaches... I'm wondering the samething... But im guessing that the current pandemic probably may have magnify your headaches.


----------



## aqwsderf

AllGlad said:


> I have had headaches since Wednesday and I normally dont have headaches... I'm wondering the samething... But im guessing that the current pandemic probably may have magnify your headaches.


Oh geez. I guess I'm even more concerned since employees have been testing positive at work. And stressing out about my headache makes it worse lol. I'm going to try and get tested tomorrow for peace of mind.


----------



## cafune

like bullets are meant to be bitten.


----------



## tehuti88

Afraid about tomorrow. I'm so tired of the arguments and belittling and I just wish it would stop. :crying:


----------



## andy1984

tehuti88 said:


> Afraid about tomorrow. I'm so tired of the arguments and belittling and I just wish it would stop. :crying:


what's happening tomorrow? hope it turns out ok :squeeze


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious & intrigued


----------



## alwaysrunning

I was really worried I got deleted from this site. It is really helping my mood coming on here and chatting with people and helping me feel a bit more confident. I would really like to be given a warning if people are thinking of deleting me. Sometimes I do feel manic. I don't think it is straight SA that I have. Saying that I was diagnosed with it at a psychiatric hospital in 2010. My SA used to be much, much worse. I didn't want to go and visit my dad in the hospital because of it. I didn't feel comfortable with him/ didn't know what to say to him and the same with my sister. I used to walk behind my sister if we went to the shops or something because I didn't know how to behave. She was like "why are you walking behind me?". Back then I felt destroyed as a person. I didn't know how to be a person. Maybe the moderators can send me a message to tell me if I have done something wrong?


----------



## harrison

lily said:


> :squeeze


Thanks Lily. Not too good at the moment.

Hope you're doing okay over there.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Okay and not okay.


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Okay and not okay.


To be, or Not to be. That is the question. :lol

I hope you feel better. :squeeze


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

The Linux Guy said:


> To be, or Not to be. That is the question. :lol
> 
> I hope you feel better. :squeeze


lol Good one.

Just had a bit of a crummy day since I got home. Also, there's a guest at the house today, which isn't anything major but just don't really like going out of my room when guests are here. Wanted to go in the kitchen to get my energy drink earlier and I have to finish laundry but I guess I'll wait. At least I have water in my room. Just wanted my other drink. Too late for an energy drink now.


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> lol Good one.
> 
> Just had a bit of a crummy day since I got home. Also, there's a guest at the house today, which isn't anything major but just don't really like going out of my room when guests are here. Wanted to go in the kitchen to get my energy drink earlier and I have to finish laundry but I guess I'll wait. At least I have water in my room. Just wanted my other drink. Too late for an energy drink now.


This too shall pass. 
So get your glass. 
Fill it up with water.
And try not to holler.
Go away guest.
Go away.
I had a hard day.
So please obey.

:squeeze


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

The Linux Guy said:


> This too shall pass.
> So get your glass.
> Fill it up with water.
> And try not to holler.
> Go away guest.
> Go away.
> I had a hard day.
> So please obey.
> 
> :squeeze


:lol That actually went together well.

I'm sitting in my room
Trying not to be all gloom
The laundry is waiting
But I'm not swaying
I'm going to get this done
As soon as everyone is gone
If it takes all night
Don't give up the fight
Pass the time by
With music and a sigh
Wither away, wither away
I tell the night to stray


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> :lol That actually went together well.
> 
> I'm sitting in my room
> Trying not to be all gloom
> The laundry is waiting
> But I'm not swaying
> I'm going to get this done
> As soon as everyone is gone
> If it takes all night
> Don't give up the fight
> Pass the time by
> With music and a sigh
> Wither away, wither away
> I tell the night to stray


While sitting in your room,
Remember to grab a broom,
It will make a swell guitar,
Scream: Hardy HarHar,
I'm a rock star!


----------



## blue2

Social dynamics are weird to me.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

The Linux Guy said:


> While sitting in your room,
> Remember to grab a broom,
> It will make a swell guitar,
> Scream: Hardy HarHar,
> I'm a rock star!


I picked up a broom
Gave it a good boom
To hell with the guests 
I'll give it a rest

:lol


----------



## The Linux Guy

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I picked up a broom
> Gave it a good boom
> To hell with the guests
> I'll give it a rest
> 
> :lol


The guest say,
Oh my!
Perhaps I should say goodbye!
It's scary,
It's even hairy.
It's.. It's...
The Broom of Doom!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

The Linux Guy said:


> The guest say,
> Oh my!
> Perhaps I should say goodbye!
> It's scary,
> It's even hairy.
> It's.. It's...
> The Broom of Doom!


:smile2:


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## Kevin001

Tired mentally, physically, and spiritually.


----------



## lily

harrison said:


> Thanks Lily. Not too good at the moment.
> 
> Hope you're doing okay over there.


 Thanks, hope you feel better soon! Does your manic episode have a trigger?



Kevin001 said:


> Tired mentally, physically, and spiritually.


hope you feel better soon! Try not to stress yourself out. I don't think that's how you're supposed to do it. When Jesus was troubled, He often went to be by himself alone in prayer. God bless


----------



## harrison

lily said:


> Thanks, hope you feel better soon! Does your manic episode have a trigger?


Yes I think it does have a trigger. The day before I was extremely down - very, very depressed and upset. Then when the mania started it was almost like a mixture of both after a while. It scares the hell out of me when it's like that.

All this coronavirus business is just so strange to me too. It probably sounds a bit weird but all this time it's like I still think it's a dream I'm having and I'll just wake up one day and it'll be gone. I'm having a lot of trouble getting my head around it I think. I wish it would all just stop.


----------



## komorikun

The only time my sister calls me is very late at night when she is either drunk or high. I can't deal with talking to drunk/high people, they are so annoying. She's really rambling tonight but claims she is sober. Kind of doing some weird sort of free association thing and wanting to talk about stuff from 20-30 years ago. Lying through her teeth. Totally not sober. Ugh. I had to end the call.

And more of this bull about how I can't say crap about her life since I haven't been there for her. I supposedly don't know her and therefore have no right to say anything. Same goes for our dad commenting on her life.


----------



## TryingMara

Tired, on edge, worried.


----------



## komorikun

Now I'm getting a whole bunch of angry texts from my sister. And my dad is sending me copies of the zillions of angry/depressed/despondent texts she is sending him. Oh joy. Such a wonderful thing to wake up to. He's asking me if he should call 911 and says "unless I offer money the barrage will continue."


----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

The past week wasn't my finest. I've spent all this time worrying about what certain individuals think about me. Letting their opinions define how i think of myself. Them unknowingly having so much power over me. Well i ain't that type of ***** anymore. If they can't see how amazing I am then they can **** off. I am not going to stress about their opinions anymore. Like boy bye. New week new me.


----------



## komorikun

Welp, called up my dad to talk about my sister and in the end we get into a fight. He's so rude. Starts saying "blah blah blah because you have asperger's syndrome" "blah blah blah so you have no empathy. You are like a rock." So I tell him he has paranoid personality disorder. Then he disagrees. I tell him the only person he has empathy for is the Old Bag, Ann. He's like "no I care about you and your sister. I've done so much for you guys. I've done a million time more things for other people than you have. " So I say "well it was your decision to have kids." Then he says "well why didn't you have kids?...cause you have aspergers." 

I told him the usual that he has zero self-introspection and that he always think it's the other person at fault. He is ALWAYS PERFECT. He is NEVER at fault. Nope. Nope. It's ALWAYS the other person's fault.


----------



## komorikun

They both are bonkers but in different ways. I can't stand it.

She refuses to move in with him yet complains that no one buys her this or that. No one bought her a futon to or padding to put under her sleeping bag. If it weren't for friends she couldn't buy groceries (ie me and our dad are useless twats). Says she doesn't know how she will buy groceries. But recently she bough a $20 mirror and hair dye.

She is staying with a friend (old man in his 70s) who lives in a rooming house. She sleeps on the floor. Private kitchen but shared bathroom. So they are in the same room together all the time. He's a super duper slob who never does laundry and makes constant messes. She has to hide from the landlord who lives on the first floor. Talks about staying with some friend who lives in an abandoned building if she gets kicked out of current place. A few months ago she was asking our dad to buy her a tent so she can camp somewhere if she becomes homeless. She's nuttier than a loon. Gets irritated with me when I want to discuss the white elephant in the room that we tip toe around.

I don't know how someone can be so broke yet so spoiled at the same time. OMG. And so obstinate.


----------



## The Linux Guy

This World,
This People,
Hi,
This Is Me.
Do you know how you make me feel?
Because of you I can never heal.
Your answers suck,
You must not know what it is like to be stuck in the muck!
You say I must do it myself.
I say that if that is what you say,
Then you should obey, Yourself!


----------



## komorikun

And every month when get near the end of the month I get a foreboding feeling. Is her stupid storage room going to up on auction? Is she going to threaten to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge unless she gets $1,200 to pay for that stupid storage room? She refuses to talk about it until it's an emergency. "what's it to you? you never help me. you aren't there for me."


----------



## donistired

I feel worthless and alone.


----------



## thina5

Mondays are always challenging for me.

It seems like after the weekends I forget everything I should deal with at work.
So, it's always kinda stressful (


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not good.


----------



## komorikun

komorikun said:


> Welp, called up my dad to talk about my sister and in the end we get into a fight. He's so rude. Starts saying "blah blah blah because you have asperger's syndrome" "blah blah blah so you have no empathy. You are like a rock." So I tell him he has paranoid personality disorder. Then he disagrees. I tell him the only person he has empathy for is the Old Bag, Ann. He's like "no I care about you and your sister. I've done so much for you guys. I've done a million time more things for other people than you have. " So I say "well it was your decision to have kids." Then he says "well why didn't you have kids?...cause you have aspergers."
> 
> I told him the usual that he has zero self-introspection and that he always think it's the other person at fault. He is ALWAYS PERFECT. He is NEVER at fault. Nope. Nope. It's ALWAYS the other person's fault.


Now my sister hung up the phone on him too.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I have a massive whole headache and am in agony.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Surprised. This year is a weird year for me personally, not just in general. lol


----------



## NoLife93

Like sh*t


----------



## caelle

The pain/headache in my neck is finally gone so I'm happy about that


----------



## zonebox

For the past several days, it has been a stream of anxiety which has fluctuated from uncomfortable to outright panic attacks. What an absolute mess, I hate when they get that bad - it does happen on the occasion though. I think in my 20s was when it was at its worst, my 30s it still happened by less frequently.


One thing I found, that often works is to enter into a meditative state and engulf myself in the anxiety and depression, for me, doing so somehow makes me feel better. I'm not entirely sure why that works for me, perhaps it is that in trying to avoid the anxiety I just make it worst. Mind you, this is not the sort of anxiety one faces when put in an uncomfortable spot, such as around people, heights, and general phobias, this is more of a generalized anxiety that just doesn't want to go away.



Thankfully, for now it is working. I am not feeling anxious, I am feeling more so in control and not entirely helpless. If anxiety starts to creep up, I will try to examine it, rather than avoid it, and hopefully it continues to work.


----------



## zonebox

WillYouStopDave said:


> I have a massive whole headache and am in agony.


That sucks, I hope you are feeling better now.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

zonebox said:


> That sucks, I hope you are feeling better now.


 Weirdest thing. I had been fighting that headache off and on for days on end (I could get it to ease up for awhile but it would keep coming back). Right after I made that post I ate a chocolate bar and the headache went away immediately. I don't know whether to think the chocolate bar fixed it or not but I have noticed it has happened before when I had a headache and ate chocolate.


----------



## copper

WillYouStopDave said:


> Weirdest thing. I had been fighting that headache off and on for days on end (I could get it to ease up for awhile but it would keep coming back). Right after I made that post I ate a chocolate bar and the headache went away immediately. I don't know whether to think the chocolate bar fixed it or not but I have noticed it has happened before when I had a headache and ate chocolate.


Chocolate contains caffeine. Tensions headaches can be cured with caffeine.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

copper said:


> Chocolate contains caffeine. Tensions headaches can be cured with caffeine.


 Yeah but I had more than a few cups of coffee during the days it kept raging and they did nothing but give me a little more energy.


----------



## copper

WillYouStopDave said:


> Yeah but I had more than a few cups of coffee during the days it kept raging and they did nothing but give me a little more energy.


Chocolate contains Magnesium. Magnesium can treat headaches. Lots of people are Magnesium deficient. Also, maybe your blood sugar was low and the sugar in the chocolate bar brought it up.


----------



## TryingMara

Worried.


----------



## CNikki

Unmotivated. At least a bit more than usual.


----------



## dave2go

feeling energized


----------



## harrison

A little bit out of it but mood is quite good. Thank God for medication that's all I can say. Had a nice telephone appointment with my doctor and she's moving to a clinic that's very close to where I live. PLus I'm starting to see my psych again - it's definitely necessary.


----------



## kesker

I'm feeling better physically after being worried about my semi comatose state earlier in the week. Fighting back with exercise and laying off the weed and it's paid off so far. Emotionally I'm quite torn. I'm flailing and not succeeding in attaining and following through on goals. I feel like I need them desperately right now.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> Thank you.  Well to that question she asked about if you'd care if she wasn't here anymore, I don't know if you're talking about if she wasn't alive or if she didn't come over but either way, I'd say you should say that you do care but there are things b/t us that we need to resolve so I also don't think you need to apologize for what you said.


Oh, she meant it in reference to not being alive. I said I did care, but that I'd miss our mum before her. Since I've spent most of my life caring for and looking after her. Not sure if it's really been resolved though since my oldest sister has said sorry for storming off in a huff, but never asked me why I said the things ah did in that email.



lily said:


> All the best and take care.


You as well, lily. I hope yer doing well.


----------



## Excaliber

I didn't sleep well last night but I think I'll be fine for the most part, I get to meet up with a friend of mine for lunch at the park later today so that will be nice.


----------



## cafune

like a confused agitated mouse that's doing the maze wrong.


----------



## D'avjo

Happy but teary, missing my lovely dad today, I want him to be here :cry


----------



## TryingMara

Disappointed. A little annoyed.


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Oh, she meant it in reference to not being alive. I said I did care, but that I'd miss our mum before her. Since I've spent most of my life caring for and looking after her. Not sure if it's really been resolved though since my oldest sister has said sorry for storming off in a huff, but never asked me why I said the things ah did in that email.
> 
> You as well, lily. I hope yer doing well.


Thanks, I see, perhaps you should talk to your oldest sister if you feel that not everything is resolved. I hope everything in your family will be ok and I will pray for you.



D'avjo said:


> Happy but teary, missing my lovely dad today, I want him to be here :cry


:squeeze 

I feel I haven't come back to this forum for a long time. Everytime I want to be social besides with my family, I will come to this site


----------



## harrison

Bored and I miss my wife. Also I saw something very moving yesterday on the TV. A guy in Iraq was sitting beside his mother while she was lying in bed with Coronavirus, holding her hand while she struggled to breathe. The doctor said that in that country parents were very important and people would never let them die alone.

I sometimes wonder what I'd do if my wife or my son got it. There's no way in a million years I'd let them lie there alone.


----------



## D'avjo

lily said:


> :squeeze


Thanks Lily, you're an angel !


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Bored and I miss my wife. Also I saw something very moving yesterday on the TV. A guy in Iraq was sitting beside his mother while she was lying in bed with Coronavirus, holding her hand while she struggled to breathe. The doctor said that in that country parents were very important and people would never let them die alone.
> 
> I sometimes wonder what I'd do if my wife or my son got it. There's no way in a million years I'd let them lie there alone.


I've heard on the radio that it's particularly bad in Melbourne, I hope you and your family stay safe 

Doing okay here and personally don't know anyone that has had it. Masks are mandatory everywhere you go in my area but they have laxed some of the restrictions regarding how many people can meet in a place. However they are saying that cases are on the rise again (Though mostly in the Toronto area I think) so it makes me wonder if they will put restrictions back in place again if it gets worse.


----------



## TryingMara

Upset, regretful, pathetic.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

It is rather sad at how passive-aggressive people become when they are jealous of something they want. It is also a great way to lose any respect I had for them. Oh well. Their loss.


----------



## Crisigv

Annoyed that my toothbrush stopped working. But also excited to go buy a nicer new one and won't have to spend any of my own money it. Also excited for my mom because she's finally getting the new car she's wanted.


----------



## lily

D'avjo said:


> Thanks Lily, you're an angel !


No problem!! D'avjo


----------



## CNikki

A bit pissed.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CNikki said:


> A bit pissed.


"hugs"


----------



## CNikki

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> "hugs"


Thank you. Hope all remains well with you.


----------



## TryingMara

Depressed.


----------



## andy1984

avoidant


----------



## either/or

Like I'm being baked inside an oven within a volcano at the center of the sun. So like nuclear fusion blanketed in magma and then baked an extra 550 degrees just for spite. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is its hot in here.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> I've heard on the radio that it's particularly bad in Melbourne, I hope you and your family stay safe
> 
> Doing okay here and personally don't know anyone that has had it. Masks are mandatory everywhere you go in my area but they have laxed some of the restrictions regarding how many people can meet in a place. However they are saying that cases are on the rise again (Though mostly in the Toronto area I think) so it makes me wonder if they will put restrictions back in place again if it gets worse.


Thanks a lot mate - yes it's quite bad here now. A second wave - 532 new cases today. It's scary but we're doing okay. We're lucky in that we can just stay home - both my wife and son work from home.

I haven't seen my wife for quite a while but she's probably better off.  (just kidding)

Hope you're doing okay over there too - glad to hear mask wearing is mandatory, it's like that here now as well. Take care over there mate and thanks for your comments, very nice of you.


----------



## harrison

TryingMara said:


> Upset, regretful, pathetic.


Nice to see you again Mara - sorry you're not feeling too good. And you're not pathetic at all. Hope things get better.


----------



## donistired

Okay but discontent, which is better than not okay but also discontent


----------



## fluorish

I don’t want to go anywhere incase I catch covid


----------



## lily

I feel unfulfilled. Not in everything, but in some things. I still need to learn more about God.


----------



## harrison

fluorish said:


> I don't want to go anywhere incase I catch covid


Me too. I've hardly left this building for days.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm so unhappy and disappointed in myself.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Undecided


----------



## CopadoMexicano

awful


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm going to try not eating sweet stuff for 30 days. See how far I get. Sure will be tough for me.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Caffeinated.


----------



## Crisigv

Amused


----------



## thomasjune

Relaxed
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Excaliber

Feeling annoyed and agitated but you have to be nice because you don't want to start anything.


----------



## James10145

Tired bye


----------



## coeur_brise

Out of it. Like really out of it. I have a mind to work, but my mind doesn't work and I just want a break or sumfin. Or maybe a new job or like therapy or both!


----------



## lily

I feel happy that I will be going out this weekend!  but still on 1mg of a medication withdrawal that has a strong force to it when I take it to sleep a lot and lie down and a lot of lack of motivation to it. it seems like it will take until I'm down to 0.25mg that it will get satisfactory for me on this


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I just did a bunch of yard work, tossing branches in a wood chipper, using my chainsaw to chop up a tree, and cleared out a large portion of my back yard. It was like 98F outside with a 55% humidity rating, so I am am completely drenched but it feels good to get outside and clean up a bit. I've also been walking 8k - 20k steps a day, so that helps out as well. When I am done with that, I get home play video games, and listen to music. Life is pretty good right now, looking forward to a few shots of rum mixed with cool aide later on :lol I've also installed a commodore 64 emulator on my PI and looking forward to playing some Mayhem in Monsterland later on.

Yesterday while walking I saw bigfoot, he seemed like a nice fellow:









​I saw him along mini train tracks that no one ventures out to explore. They go on for about two or three miles, it is nice to get away from it all and not be surrounded by crowds of people ​


----------



## Persephone The Dread

@zonebox

lol that Bigfoot picture is great. They should put random stuff like that in more places.


----------



## XebelRebel

I'm feeling good!  Calm and relaxed, sitting in my bedroom in the shade after a very satisfying evening walk.


My home town is a paradise. There are small forests with beautiful views -- and one of them is much larger than the others, with so many well-kept paths and trails that it is like a magical labyrinth of trees and wildlife. I was scouting out scenic benches so that I know of a few different spots to go to and eat my sandwich.


There is also a beach -- by the sea, obviously -- and cliff-top walks through and around farmers' fields, with herds of cows... it is simply wonderful here. Such variety of landscapes all in the same area; I love it! :heart Even the architectural styles of the town buildings are beautiful in their own way. I very much enjoy walking the streets and admiring the houses.


----------



## zonebox

Persephone The Dread said:


> @*zonebox*
> 
> lol that Bigfoot picture is great. They should put random stuff like that in more places.


:lol They have a few spots that they have arranged with random characters, Bigfoot is the largest of displays though. I think it would be pretty cool to have one of those huge lego men that wash up on shores to be on display too, and of course, a furby trail. That would be amazing at night, if they were all set on motion sensors :lol a trail of glowing furby eyes - this really needs to happen


----------



## Persephone The Dread

zonebox said:


> :lol They have a few spots that they have arranged with random characters, Bigfoot is the largest of displays though. I think it would be pretty cool to have one of those huge lego men that wash up on shores to be on display too, and of course, a furby trail. That would be amazing at night, if they were all set on motion sensors :lol a trail of glowing furby eyes - this really needs to happen


Oh lol yeah they should add some Garfield phones too:










Furby trail would be funny.


----------



## User Not Found

Returning suicidal thoughts. I feel like loosing the ground under my feet. Everything feels so unreal.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## CNikki

Tired and thinking about this upcoming week.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Stressed about the way things are going at work. I'm glad I talked it out with one of the managers and he agreed that I'm being targeted by certain individuals who are attempting to have me papered out. 

His advice was "Be smart" and I know exactly what he meant by that.


----------



## zonebox

I feel cheated, every time I have something to eat my dog gives me the look..










He just ate half my omelette. I am powerless against that look. Unfortunately, I did not catch it in time to get the full effect, as soon as I moved even slightly and acknowledge him, he knew he was going to get what he wanted.. at this stage, it is more of a look of appreciation I think.


----------



## Excaliber

Silly me, I accidentally pocket dialed the person I was texting, I was walking around and hearing "Hellooooo?"


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Anxious and uncomfortable. Not sure why right now.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Better now. Someone knows the reason why.


----------



## James10145

*Like scarface*

.


----------



## NocaLove

Alert. Thank you L thenanine + caffeine 

Sent from my SM-A205U using Tapatalk


----------



## TryingMara

Sick, run down, tired.


----------



## Excaliber

Tired and about to go sleep, board games are supposed to be fun but I couldn't help but feel frustrated this time around, I kept landing on the pay extra squares or rolling low numbers so I wasn't getting anywhere. I did so horrible lol.


----------



## hayes

I need to increase my dosage. Where is the emotional numbness everyone complains about when taking medication? I would prefer being numb than this continual feeling of worthlessness. My chest feels both empty and heavy.


----------



## firelight

Safe until the cocoon bursts.


----------



## shouldeyefallbehind

all I can think of right now is; I want to go home. I am homesick for a place I have never known. Somewhere, where I can just be at peace. Where it dosn't feel like everyone wants to wipe me off the face of the earth.


----------



## fluorish

So much painn


----------



## brianlee99

I feel okay. Still struggling with low self-esteem. Trying to figure out how I can better support myself through self-compassion.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Accomplished. I went a whole week without eating anything sweet.


----------



## SplendidBob

Strange.. Conflicted...

So much stuff going on atm. Trying to handle the job stuff. I think I am going to have to expand my scope and go for assistant psychologist jobs (very hard to get) and psychological wellbeing practitioner jobs (lots of work and uni stuff). Really need to get a foot in the door, and its hard to do when I am so uncertain of my capabilities atm.

Also have a couple of health problems that are annoying.

And this new lady, she is very over the top with messaging. It's quite strange. I honestly, just want to go on the date and see from there, but atm I think she might be fishing for something more intimate before then. Even this is conflicting me atm.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired from my shift at work earlier.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

too long to list. though feeling prejudged is what bothers me lately. so petty things that have little to no importance but making it magnified as if it were important. I hate my phat head.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I was just talking with my oldest brother and we are planning on playing Dungeons and Dragons again, once a week over facetime.


----------



## harrison

Pretty flat today and a bit down. High numbers here again today and one of the deaths includes a young man is his 30's. Just terrible what's happening.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely


----------



## Citrine79

Having an anxiety spike. Looks like I will have to deal with a work issue and I am uncomfortable doing so. I don’t handle phone calls well at all and stumble and make an idiot of myself. This problem has to be dealt with via phone and I am doing everything I can to get someone else to take care of it. It should really be my boss doing it anyway. Plus, the news continues to be bad, sad and depressing. Day after day.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

swallowed up by stress and emotional distress.


----------



## alwaysrunning

Having panic today. Have just been here at the computer on here as a distraction. I have to go to the shop in a minute but it's like cannot stand what is in my head. Gonna put headphones in and go. Feeling like I am in freefall. Like my soul is screaming.


----------



## TryingMara

Distracted and sleepy.


----------



## mOnester

Tired and in a lot of physical pain, avoiding simple work and emails because of anxiety... nothing new here 😓


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Tired from my shift at work earlier.


How you feel rejuvenated todayy.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

PurplePeopleEater said:


> How you feel rejuvenated todayy.


I do feel better the next day


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I do feel better the next day


lol :grin2:


----------



## leaf in the wind

STRESSED! I have an overdue report and another one coming due! I feel like a student again, cramming before the teacher checks my homework!


----------



## CNikki

Finally relaxed for the first time in a while. Hoping it stays that way.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

leaf in the wind said:


> STRESSED! I have an overdue report and another one coming due! I feel like a student again, cramming before the teacher checks my homework!


That sounds crappy. :/ Hope you don't get too stressed.


----------



## Excaliber

It has been a very frustrating afternoon.


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

zonebox said:


> Yesterday while walking I saw bigfoot, he seemed like a nice fellow:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ​


This is so cool! I'm fascinated by all things bigfoot.


----------



## donistired

Fatigued. I wish the week would end already. Also don't ever work in a warehouse


----------



## Excaliber

Don said:


> Fatigued. I wish the week would end already. Also don't ever work in a warehouse


Just a few more days till the weekend 

I used to as a shipper/receiver, I think the part I hated the most was rolling the giant rusty gas tanks around that weighed like 3 of me. I had to drag them from the tank shed outside up a set of steps to send them away to the designated branches. Winter made it worse with snow and the tanks being frozen.


----------



## harrison

Feeling quite good for some reason. Had a good talk with my wife last night and she's happy, that's important. 

(plus there haven't been any frantic phone calls this morning) yet


----------



## Excaliber

Confused, when someone asks to hang out with you but waits for you to suggest and arrange everything.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Meh.


----------



## andy1984

tired!


----------



## alwaysrunning

A bit better now than yesterday and most of today. Yesterday when I popped to the supermarket, because I felt upset, I was waiting in the queue for the self service and this couple was in front of me, there was a machine free, and they said you can go in front of us as it's card only. I said "It's card only. That's all I've got" I took a step back saying to the person behind me that it was card only. Then I realized, and went to the machine without looking at anyone lol My mind couldn't process properly what that couple had said. I bet they thought what a strange girl lol. I just thought, I don't have to see these people again anyway.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Slight headache. Took some Ibuprofen. Good thing I don't get headaches often.


----------



## Excaliber

I'm not a morning person, and my allergies seem to have flared up too.


----------



## CNikki

A little bit nauseated.


While Chinese food tastes good, it doesn't seem to agree with me...


----------



## Excaliber

@CNikki Me too, I love Chinese food but If I have a bit too much I start to feel nauseated, Hope you feel better soon.


----------



## Replicante

I need a day of sleep.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry. Better go and eat something.


----------



## Fever Dream

That feeling when you walk in the next room, but then you forget why you went in there in the first place.


----------



## James10145

*.*

Tired bye


----------



## Euripides

That I am utterly unfit for existence. These past days have been excruciating beyond "the usual constant agony."

I cannot force myself to do anything. 

I cannot force myself to think of anything else but x. 

I can't force myself to want anything except x and until x. 

How in the **** am I to "just chill and focus on myself" when there is a giant big red flashing nuclear strike inbound alert and siren strapped to my head?

How to do "little things" when the bi
Ahh, sod it. 


Just. These past few days. And nights. I do nothing but waiting in agony. And The solution is so close. So simple. So little. Yet I'm not worthy of it. And that, ultimately is what ****s me up real bad. 

The endless. Endlessness of it. The unbearable isolation. The unbearable pressure. The unbearable nature of myself. The unbearable pain of having had real hope and then see it, feel it, slipping away, slowly, each day. And not being allowed to raise one word about it or risk losing it all instantaneously and forever. I cannot. The pain. I cannot. The walking on eggshells. 

Just one small hint even of freely given affection. And v ahh.

I wish. I wish I could fully break instead of bending and resisting. All the time everytime no matter what. 

But I wish more that there was more than me and these echoes ebbing away into the void.

And how does one handle the p ahh. 

Just. 



Can't i just be free from eternal catch 22 at every corner.
Can't I just. 

Can't I? 


P. S. I can't even just sleep because heatwave, tiny studio, zero air circulation. And also, she's not here.


----------



## harrison

I'm so bored I think I'm going to chew one of my hands off.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like the walking dead


----------



## Excaliber

Canadian Brotha said:


> Like the walking dead


Try not to bite anyone... (joking)

I hope you feel better soon


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Confused


----------



## harrison

Slightly sick and like I'm going out of my mind. I don't know how I' going to get through this 6 week lockdown. I try to take a bit extra medication - because I can feel myself getting slightly manic. I work myself up just talking to my wife on the phone sometimes - such a ridiculous situation, my thoughts start running too fast and I have to stop talking.


----------



## zkv

My brother's heterosexual life partner got kicked out of his house, and he's living with us now. Which is fine by me. He's always joking around but he's always been careful not to make jokes at my expense because my bro has shared a lot about me with him (because I've driven him crazy sometimes). They're looking to rent something and move out. That makes me sad. I think once they find a place I'll ask them to invite me to hang out sometime.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Slightly sick and like I'm going out of my mind. I don't know how I' going to get through this 6 week lockdown. I try to take a bit extra medication - because I can feel myself getting slightly manic. I work myself up just talking to my wife on the phone sometimes - such a ridiculous situation, my thoughts start running too fast and I have to stop talking.


Hope you feel better soon. 

It does seem like a rather long time, but considering whats happening over in Melbourne maybe its for the better. I'm sure you'll be okay and get through, if your not able to see your wife or son maybe try having some video chats with them? Might be nicer than just calling over the phone. Stay safe over there harrison.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Awake, and chatting with a certain someone makes it better


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> Thanks, I see, perhaps you should talk to your oldest sister if you feel that not everything is resolved. I hope everything in your family will be ok and I will pray for you.


Thanks lily.  Things seem to be better between us now, she's since apologised for that storming off incident.


----------



## Fever Dream

Really, really bored.


----------



## D'avjo

Damn Hot


----------



## Excaliber

Cold, just got back from my motorcycle ride. It's really starting to cool down outside at night now but the ride itself was fantastic. Up along the lake shore and stopped for some fish & chips.


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Thanks lily.  Things seem to be better between us now, she's since apologised for that storming off incident.


that's great! 



Fever Dream said:


> Really, really bored.


:hug


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I need a stiff drink.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Hope you feel better soon.
> 
> It does seem like a rather long time, but considering whats happening over in Melbourne maybe its for the better. I'm sure you'll be okay and get through, if your not able to see your wife or son maybe try having some video chats with them? Might be nicer than just calling over the phone. Stay safe over there harrison.


Thanks mate - sorry for some reason I didn't get a notification that you'd replied this time.

Bit better today, I actually called a crisis line last night. The guy gave me a lot of numbers to call - I think I'll actually use a few of them, I need some help to get through this.

We'll get there - it's just very hard some days, it really gets to me. Thanks again anyway.


----------



## James10145

*Like God*

.


----------



## mt moyt

miss when i had friends, life sucks *** now


----------



## AllGlad

sleepy


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Better and less paranoid since reducing my thc intake. I'm hoping to bring it down to no use at all soon.

The boredom is much worse though.


----------



## leaf in the wind

I'm PMSing. How did a month go by so quickly already?


----------



## EBecca

really not good at all


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Don't know if I would even really make the effort to go and have a trip to the coast, but sadly it's not possible right now for Coronavirus-related reasons I won't go into. We are currently having a period where it's surely as humid as New England apparently is in summer, if not Florida. It might be quite nice in, say, Portsmouth, on the south coast, where you would get sea breeze all day off the English Channel. But here it feels oppressive, my clothes are soaked in sweat. In my experience, any heat in early/mid summer tends to be a bit drier. Late summer is when the real humidity tends to appear, even if it's heavily cloudy.


----------



## brianlee99

I am okay. There's no one to talk to, but I guess I'll be all right. I just wish I was less socially anxious.


----------



## Excaliber

I'm okay, just going to make myself a hot chocolate before I decide to go sleep.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I spent the past few hours playing around on my phone while in my patio. It was nice, I had a bunch of candles lit, and it set the mood. I love the way candles flicker, and how the light seems to dance along everything illuminated by them. I also had some rum, and watched a horror movie, in between playing games. I think the phone I purchased is pretty damned sweet, it is not a high end one, but it does quite a lot. I had a lot of fun goofing around with an older MMORPG on it, Order and Chaos.


It is nice to step outside of the house, and still be able to watch movies, and play games.


----------



## Gala_Evandrus

Not good


----------



## hayes

Brain zaps galore.


----------



## SparklingWater

Peaceful. Content.


* *




Sometimes pple talk... And that's ok. That is a revelation of the highest order to me. This fear of it all my life was tilting at windmills. Pple can talk themselves silly for hours and hours on end about things that aren't true, that they have no idea about, that they essentially made up or greatly exaggerated. Many pple love to talk and don't particularly care about the subject or the veracity of the things they're going on about. It's just an activity to pass the time. In the end, it doesn't have to bother me.

It can be sometimes pple talk and oh no it's the worst thing in the world, I'm embarrassed, I'm ashamed, I'm humiliated, I'm scared of confrontation. I'm scared to stand up for myself. I'm terrified of them. I can never show my face again. Pple will believe them. I want to die. I have to set them straight. Continue to work self up more and more contemplating every negative scenario that might come from it. Just completely caught up in that mental wasteland.

Or it can be sometimes pple talk and that's ok.

I always forget it's the mental battle, the mental pushing against things that make them take up so much space in my mind and so much energy (feelings, thoughts, anything.) Makes them so much bigger and more important. When really, sometimes pple talk whether I'm in mental anguish about it or whether I just accept it and focus on more important ****. It's about how I want my day to go. Or how I want my life to go, given I've spent so much energy avoiding things like this.


----------



## Excaliber

Groggy, I'm not a morning person.


----------



## aqwsderf

Confused

Well it's Monday. Long week ahead. Why do weekends always fly by?


----------



## Graeme1988

Back to feeling depressed and anxious.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I am actually feeling pretty good. Haven't been eating chocolate for 2 weeks. I still crave it, though. Omg.


----------



## Crisigv

anxious and done with the world


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Like leaving here. Potentially for good.


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Back to feeling depressed and anxious.


What are you depressed and anxious about?


----------



## harrison

I'm feeling good. Talked to some people this morning instead of isolating myself and actually went for a walk. I also think I can probably be friends with this lady I knew a while ago - never really did that before. I'm also friends with her best friend - it's sort of a 2 for 1 deal with her. Not bad really.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> What are you depressed and anxious about?


Oh, I can't seem to get back into a routine. So, I'm depressed about that. And I'm anxious about putting myself out there more, as I'm contemplating uploading some videos of myself playing covers of some of my favourite songs to my Facebook page.


----------



## Excaliber

Fairly good after a stop into the bakery, those chocolate brownies are hard to resist.


----------



## SparklingWater

Nervous to try this out.


----------



## komorikun

Diarrhea.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

personal disaster


----------



## lily

Graeme1988 said:


> Oh, I can't seem to get back into a routine. So, I'm depressed about that. And I'm anxious about putting myself out there more, as I'm contemplating uploading some videos of myself playing covers of some of my favourite songs to my Facebook page.


Oh sorry to hear about that. Don't look down on yourself, people could really like your songs!


----------



## CNikki

Anxious. Actually afraid that it could have me go into a panic attack.


----------



## Karsten

CNikki said:


> Anxious. Actually afraid that it could have me go into a panic attack.


I deal with this too. 

Feel better.


----------



## Sekiro

I'm so ****in' tired lol


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Better than before. Much better.


----------



## Ekardy

Laughing so I won’t cry.
My family gives me the most anxiety.


----------



## Excaliber

Ekardy said:


> Laughing so I won't cry.
> My family gives me the most anxiety.


Haven't seen you around in ages, good to see you! Hope you've been doing well!


----------



## Ekardy

Excaliber said:


> Haven't seen you around in ages, good to see you! Hope you've been doing well!


Thank you, I also hope you've been doing well.


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

Tired


----------



## Excaliber

Ekardy said:


> Thank you, I also hope you've been doing well.


Your welcome 

Si, I have been okay. Stay safe during this pandemic!


----------



## Ekardy

Excaliber said:


> Your welcome
> 
> Si, I have been okay. Stay safe during this pandemic!


Definitely being careful, it doesn't hurt feeling like a ninja every time I wear a mask.
Hope you are faring well during this pandemic too.


----------



## lily

I feel sad that I'm still unfulfilled.


----------



## Euripides

I'm gonna lose my ****. This is overwhelming. But I can't dissociate, because as always - - if I don't do something, no one will.

So here’s the situation rn as I type:

I've been suffering really badly from this unprecedented intense heatwave here in the EU. I have pathological heat intolerance, compounded by even more heat intolerance as a side effect from my psych meds. And my hyperhydrosis. 

Then I also have insomnia. 

And I'm rn very weak. _But_ I've been making good recovery progress nonetheless, since about two days ago. You see, I'd at that point been in cold turkey withdrawal from benzodiazepines due to monetary issues thanks to having quit my already fledgling freelance writing barely-making-a-living.

But hey. I got determined again. Started to accept the harsh reality that I yet again won't be going back to uni or "going up in the world". I'd force the random irl job thing and just focus on making okay money, and getting tf out of this hell hole situation I've been in for oh, more than half a decade now.

So despite everything, today I was gonna go downtown and get proof of having no criminal record and etc. Because for one of the jobs I'm going to submit an application for, requires it. Operational analyst at the Ops HQ of the city's federal police unit that does a lot of coordination with international agencies. (lol if I get that one. But yeah. Of the 3600 wanted placements in the entire city right now, there's exactly 9 looking for creatives or cultural workers. And you wonder why créatives are starving artists, mhm.)

Anyway, long story short, I turned on the light and there's, I **** you not, over a hundred fat maggots crawling EVERYWHERE. It's like my floor itself is alive. Under my bed, in every little nook and cranny. Dropping from the hole in the ceiling. Pouring in from a hole underneath and way at the back of a sort of crawlspace under the sink. 

And I'd just mopped, vacuumed, dust wiped, and wet ragged by hand on my knees, in detail everything here.

And boom. Still. Nothing I do matter. Everyday is groundhog day in this **** hole of a dilapidated tiny studio in this hardcore exploited 140 year old building. 

Now I'm having, not a panic attack per se, but oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy.

How. How. How. 

Why. 
Why. 
Why. 


And more practically: how to get rid of a maggot infestation? In an extremely tiny studio? When lifting up the bed alone already kills me physically?

If anyone reads this and has actual practical ideas or suggestions, please, I could really use them. 

Stores won't open until 2 hours more. Will get trash bags. Insecticide sprays. 

There goes my survival money again. But hey. 

In the meantime I'm here on top of my mattress fortress island. Going quite mad with numb despair. 

Waiting and watching. 

I made an impromptu barricade around the main ingress point with a **** load of salt on the floor. Hopefully that'll contain them somewhat. Delay, I need, yes. 

But still, they are everywhere. And I've killed tons already. Now I can't make one step without "stepping in it"

Triggering my mild paranoia. 

Well my ****ing day is gone. 

Ohhh. Sisyphus, Sisyphus, Sisyphus.


----------



## SilentLyric

amused, excited.


----------



## harrison

Bit strange - today has gone so slowly it's felt like a week.


----------



## copper

Depressed. My summer depression is really kicking in. August has always been the worse month. But with this COVID stuff and political crap, and not being able getting out of the house due to working at home has made this worse.


----------



## Graeme1988

lily said:


> Oh sorry to hear about that. Don't look down on yourself, people could really like your songs!


That's true. I guess I'm just nervous about pushing myself out of my comfort zone.


----------



## rabidfoxes

@Euripides no practical advice here, but you're living in a (sur)realist nightmare. For half of your post I assumed that the maggots were a hallucination caused by the meds/heat. I mean, maggots come when there's food - what are they feeding on? There might be a body in the flat above or something. This will not make you feel better but for a writer this is prime material. I hope you'll get out of this in one piece and make it into a story someday.


----------



## Citrine79

Not doing well today. On top of everything else that bothers me on a daily basis, 2 news stories I have read this week are deeply affecting me and have made me even more sad and depressed. Nothing to look forward to, nothing to get excited about, nothing to do. Stuck inside the house day after day, week after week with no end in sight. Never thought I see the day where I actually want to return to the office.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Bit strange - today has gone so slowly it's felt like a week.


I feel like that sometimes too. Then other times I lose track of what day of the week it is. Hope your doing okay over there, enjoy your day


----------



## kesker

I feel distant, rigid, like it's over.


----------



## Graeme1988

Tired and sweaty. It's been absolutely roostin' hot weather these past few days.

It's not very often the sun shines this much in Scotland. :lol


----------



## CopadoMexicano

corroded


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> I feel like that sometimes too. Then other times I lose track of what day of the week it is. Hope your doing okay over there, enjoy your day


Thanks mate - I guess it's because of this lockdown. The days all seem much the same and really seem to drag. The numbers look like they're coming down though, so that's good. Hope you're good too.


----------



## CNikki

Restless.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Pretty bad. I got fired for being mentally ill and then on the way home from getting fired I got called a fa**ot by a random stranger. ( I get called that a lot for some reason )

The final reason they used was that I dropped my water bottle on the ground and spilled water. They said this created a safety hazard and that was it, they had to let me go lol.

I hope I just get covid and die srsly


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

RelinquishedHell said:


> Pretty bad. I got fired for being mentally ill and then on the way home from getting fired I got called a fa**ot by a random stranger.
> 
> The final reason they used was that I dropped my water bottle on the ground and spilled water. They said this created a safety hazard and that was it, they had to let me go lol.


WTF? I'd be so livid. Well, that sucks. That seems like it would be illegal to fire someone for being mentally ill.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

PurplePeopleEater said:


> RelinquishedHell said:
> 
> 
> 
> Pretty bad. I got fired for being mentally ill and then on the way home from getting fired I got called a fa**ot by a random stranger.
> 
> The final reason they used was that I dropped my water bottle on the ground and spilled water. They said this created a safety hazard and that was it, they had to let me go lol.
> 
> 
> 
> WTF? I'd be so livid. Well, that sucks. That seems like it would be illegal to fire someone for being mentally ill.
Click to expand...

It definitely is, but there probably isn't anything I can do. I don't really want to go back there anyway. 9 months of being bullied and tormented by my coworkers is enough.


----------



## Graeme1988

Fed up... bored, I guess. Sick of being stuck in the house.


----------



## zkv

Massively relieved. I suppose second-guessing oneself is necessary, healthy even to a point. But it's over now and everything turned out fine. So yay.


----------



## Excaliber

Allergic, time to take reactine.


----------



## Graeme1988

Hoping that how I'm feeling at the moment will pass. Not doing so great right now. I hate myself to be honest.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

RelinquishedHell said:


> It definitely is, but there probably isn't anything I can do. I don't really want to go back there anyway. 9 months of being bullied and tormented by my coworkers is enough.


Yea, might be for the better. That's a long time.

I currently deal with this at my job and it sucks sometimes and other times I ignore it and just focus on the money. At least I'm not around people much.


----------



## andy1984

rested!


----------



## CNikki

Tired. Might call it an early night (on a Friday, no less... I'm getting old.)


----------



## Excaliber

Tired, it has been a long day


----------



## Graeme1988

Oh, y'know, the usual... miserable. Questioning why I even exist, since my life's been an uphill struggle from birth, having been born disabled. Yet, I'm still here - why? I don't know...


----------



## Dissonance

Pretty good, not sad that I'm alone.


----------



## oodledoodles

Dissonance said:


> Pretty good, not sad that I'm alone.


maybe you should consider changing your avatar then?


----------



## SparklingWater

Bored.


* *




There are many issues with work, but it has tons of upsides. Top 3, imo, are income, meaning (if you're lucky enough to have a career you enjoy) and most importantly, structure. Routine. Tons of unstructured time is the debil. Especially for those with mental health stuff going on. Doing nothing most of the day is my one way ticket to depressionville.

Also, funny and sad that I'm supposedly working on an online business alongside finding other ways of supporting myself online, so technically I have tons of **** to do, yet I'm just watching YouTube bored. I wonder if I have the drive necessary to succeed outside of the traditional employer- employee relationship.

So now I'm feeling uncertain lol.


----------



## Citrine79

Feeling despondent, lonely and my anxiety level is through the roof right now.


----------



## Replicante

Bored as hell.


----------



## Sekiro

still tired lol


i guess i'll take a day off now LOL


----------



## introvert33

copper said:


> Depressed. My summer depression is really kicking in. August has always been the worse month. But with this COVID stuff and political crap, and not being able getting out of the house due to working at home has made this worse.


Summer depression? That sucks. I never really heard of that before, everyone always talks about lack of sunshine causing it for some people. Is it like a comparison issue? Most people get to enjoy summer activities and you don't?

Its definitely tumultuous out there not really helping most of us. I also think working from home maybe made it worse for me, but I am not ready to go back in the office.


----------



## EBecca

I'm not sure. Nostalgic, I think.


----------



## SparklingWater

So bored. Send help.

I officially miss work. ****. Didn't realize how validating it felt just to be a "normal" working person. Miss it. Now I'm "weird," not working, "lazy" adult again. None of that is true, but still I'm feeling it rn.


----------



## either/or

The day fits my mood. Pale grey and bleak.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Guy from my HS messaged me saying he remembers me and asked me how I've been. Not sure how to reply to that question other than say I'm a manager and doing good. There's no wrong answer. He seems to live in Atlanta now. It's pretty cool someone from my HS messaged me even though I was pretty much a mute but the majority of them were snobbish.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Not sure how to reply to that question other than say I'm a manager and doing good.


:lol


----------



## andy1984

really full. sometimes i really love my life. i woke up this morning soooooo ****ing warm and content.

i left my fridge turned off accidentally, so i had to eat a whole bag of thawed out peas. i mashed them lol.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> :lol


lol Or I could say "Yea, I dropped out of community college and still don't talk much and make 11 an hour. But hey at least I don't pay much in bills." :haha Wow, I'm burning myself.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

feeling the phat fat, and just getting phatter.


----------



## tehuti88

Weak and ill.


----------



## harrison

Restless and very bored.


----------



## Fixxer




----------



## zonebox

Life is good, feeling decent


----------



## CopadoMexicano

im feeling drastic shifts in mood but any tiny thought of negativity spirals me into a mountain of unwanted obstacles. Stagnant emotions since 2005 its been a curse. :um


----------



## SunshineSam218

I'm feeling very content with now. It stormed for about an hour or two, but I am feeling very content and calm.


----------



## CNikki

Stressed, which is contributing highly if not completely with my mind racing...


----------



## kesker

Sheska said:


> Pretty chuffed. I've added solving Rubik's cube to my lockdown list of picked up useless skills, which is pretty neat in and of itself as I've never been able to do it before. Just dug out an old 80's cube that's got a different colour arrangement to the one I've been practising on and managed to solve it despite the initial confusion. With the amount of self-congratulatory confidence that I now have me thinks solution to the Middle East conflict is but a hair's breadth away.


----------



## EBecca

Ambivalent emotions. And sleepiness.


----------



## Citrine79

So very unmotivated. And feeling more demoralized with each passing day.


----------



## kesker

Sheska said:


> I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long quarantine... and I am not afraid to use 'em.
> 
> Hey kesker :squeeze


 Hey Sheska. You're a day brightener.  :squeeze


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A bit bummed that my vacation is being delayed by. a week even though I let my boss know like a month ago I wanted those days off. But she wants me to work Labor Day. Oh well. That just means I get to enjoy it a bit later.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

feel bummed out after visiting my old job site. Felt like a loser after leaving the building but now at home wondering if I should go back :um


----------



## Crisigv

very lonely


----------



## CopadoMexicano

Crisigv said:


> very lonely


:hug


----------



## CopadoMexicano

inner emptiness and stagnation.


----------



## SplendidBob

Just had an interview thing with my vocational rehab lady and two others who I didn't know. Was for some work within the local trust for mental health stuff, they offered me some stuff. Nothing high paying, but technically paid, so great to put on my CV and get the ball moving in this employment area. I found it ****ing terrifying, but as expected, anxiety started to fade after 10-15 mins or so and I was able to communicate a bit lol.

Would have been better had I been able to communicate more, but my body language is good now, I don't think it is that important. Everything else was on point, appearance, environment (set up my video environment properly etc, nice background, good lighting and sound). Smiling, friendly demeanour. I know for sure, how much this **** matters now, so glad I have been doing the compassion meditation and smiling practice.

The job application process continues, and its going to be anxiety inducing as ****.

So, atm I feel anxious, kinda tired, but quite pleased with myself.


----------



## introvert33

@SplendidBob Congrats on the interview! Hoping you get it!


----------



## kesker

SplendidBob said:


> Just had an interview thing with my vocational rehab lady and two others who I didn't know. Was for some work within the local trust for mental health stuff, they offered me some stuff. Nothing high paying, but technically paid, so great to put on my CV and get the ball moving in this employment area. I found it ****ing terrifying, but as expected, anxiety started to fade after 10-15 mins or so and I was able to communicate a bit lol.
> 
> Would have been better had I been able to communicate more, but my body language is good now, I don't think it is that important. Everything else was on point, appearance, environment (set up my video environment properly etc, nice background, good lighting and sound). Smiling, friendly demeanour. I know for sure, how much this **** matters now, so glad I have been doing the compassion meditation and smiling practice.
> 
> The job application process continues, and its going to be anxiety inducing as ****.
> 
> So, atm I feel anxious, kinda tired, but quite pleased with myself.


----------



## James10145

*Like scarface*

.


----------



## SplendidBob

Sheska said:


> And so you ought to be. Those are fantastic achievements.


Thank you, and hello again  - how have you been? Really nice to see you around. (giant creepy hug).



introvert33 said:


> @SplendidBob Congrats on the interview! Hoping you get it!


Thanks. It wasn't quite for a full job, but its moving in the right direction, definitely C.V. fodder and really good practice.



kesker said:


>


Thanks kesker  -its hard atm, lots of 8 or 9/10 anxiety stuff I can't really avoid hah. It was good to use the CFT and ACT stuff and actually allow the anxiety to dissipate (usually I fight it, so it lasts longer). Very interesting experience.


----------



## Excaliber

Very groggy, I'm not a morning person.


----------



## Citrine79

More depressed than anxious today. Later on, have my final appointment with my therapist as he is leaving the practice and moving away. To be honest, not getting a lot out of the sessions (still doing phone appts) but I feel comfortable talking with him and he lets me vent and I don’t have anyone else to do that with. Not certain I want to start with someone new right now plus the practice is stopping phone appts and making people either come into the office or do video chats...don’t want to do either of those.


----------



## SplendidBob

Sheska said:


> It wouldn't be so creepy if you'd just put some pants on :grin2:
> 
> :squeeze


I am used to being naked from the waist down for hugs, its how we do things down here in Kent. Respect my culture. :lol


----------



## CopadoMexicano

intense confusion and frustration with certain things


----------



## introvert33

Citrine79 said:


> More depressed than anxious today. Later on, have my final appointment with my therapist as he is leaving the practice and moving away. To be honest, not getting a lot out of the sessions (still doing phone appts) but I feel comfortable talking with him and he lets me vent and I don't have anyone else to do that with. Not certain I want to start with someone new right now plus the practice is stopping phone appts and making people either come into the office or do video chats...don't want to do either of those.


Hope your day is better and the last appointment went okay!


----------



## CNikki

Unappreciated. Well, for what it's worth, I had been able to get some things done for myself in a timely fashion. But for what everything's ultimately worth? Hence feeling this way...


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless garbage


----------



## Graeme1988

I don't know... how is one supposed to after finding out via a Facebook status update that a family relative has and is battling cancer? 😞


----------



## Citrine79

introvert33 said:


> Hope your day is better and the last appointment went okay!


Thanks! Went well and I decided to at least try going to someone one. He recommended one of his colleagues in the same practice. Not sure it will work but I will try. Don't have to start over from scratch either.

Was doing okay...now annoyed and moody once again due to a minor thing setting me off.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

deep sadness


----------



## Crisigv

Very very upset


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit peckish. Time for a snack.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Disgusted. And that is how you go, not with a roar but with a whimper.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Confused, exhausted, miserable


----------



## SplendidBob

Sheska said:


> Oh shoot... I didn't realise I'd fallen so far behind on Kent identity ethics. Remind me, am I required to reciprocate in a similar fashion? :nerd:


I would hope so, yes!


----------



## lily

Not feeling very well  :crying: I can only focus on getting better right now. I had a cup of Jasmine green tea today and I got this bad headache from what I believe is an interaction from one of the medications I'm on


----------



## leaf in the wind

disgruntled


----------



## Excaliber

Thanks allergies, everyone is looking at me like I'm some kind of diseased creature.


----------



## ScorchedEarth

Pretty horrible overall. I've in a period of vague "self-improvement", which right now comes down to losing weight and exercising. Early mid-life crisis from someone who's not seen much of life at all. And on the other hand, I'm wondering how I'm going to end it all within the next couple of years before external circumstances really hit the boiling point. Not even got to do with how I'm feeling right now, but rather things that are going to happen and that I'll be utterly unprepared to deal with. Really wish I had a gun, then I either wouldn't be dealing with this or I'd feel a hell of a lot less trapped and helpless. This is no way to spend half my 20s and 30s, I only wish I had a way out.


----------



## zkv

Being sitting on the sand for about two hours. Wind is cold but the sun counters it. Watching the few people there are pass by, also sharing the beach with some fishermen and a group of people, all in white, doing some kind of exercise. Can't tell what kind. Also brought one of the dogs along, the older, more obedient one, and the guitar. So I played some songs and chased after her a few times. And thought about things, negative, self-hatey things. True things. 'Hate comes from self-blame' I was told recently, and I am guilty as hell. Someone should kick my teeth right the **** in, wouldn't object to that right now.

It's not going to stop 'til I wise up. Lyrics quote of the day.


----------



## CNikki

It could be worse. I just hope this week goes by quick enough.


----------



## leaf in the wind

In a weird emotional low even though there's no real reason for it. Just extremely irritable, fatigued, lethargic. Might be PMS.


----------



## introvert33

Was frustrated and mad so went for a walk. Which was good at clearing that while I focused on other things. But now I'm back and just sad and pessimistic.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

grossed out. While opening a frozen bag of berries from a neighborhood walmart, i found a long hair in the food but wasnt sure if it was from the bag or what. :um


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kind of relieved my dad wasn't around when I visited my mother. He gets out of the hospital in 2 days so I got to see her on time before he came back. I do not like dealing with his constant bad mood and negativity.


----------



## lily

feeling better today but oh gosh, still dealing with my medication


----------



## harrison

lily said:


> feeling better today but oh gosh, still dealing with my medication


Glad you're feeling a bit better Lily - some of the meds they give us are just incredible, hope you're doing okay.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Terror, apprehension, worry, anxiety... pride


----------



## harrison

Feeling not too bad today. Got out for a bit of a walk, talked to some people at the post office and shops etc which always brightens me up a bit.


----------



## lily

harrison said:


> Glad you're feeling a bit better Lily - some of the meds they give us are just incredible, hope you're doing okay.


Thanks harrison! You brightened my day! I wish you well too


----------



## harrison

lily said:


> Thanks harrison! You brightened my day! I wish you well too


Glad to hear it Lily - and thanks.


----------



## komorikun

Sick to my stomach.


----------



## zkv

Tired. Helped my brother and his friend do a job. Hooray, I'm useful!

Went to the beach again this morning. I've missed out on the empty beach for years. I always disliked it, but apparently what I don't like is the people. The beach is actually a nice place.


----------



## Citrine79

Grow more hopeless each day...frustrated, annoyed and isolated. Not coping well right now.


----------



## NoLife93

Drained of energy


----------



## CNikki

Tired.

---

Well, not so tired now because neighbors pissed me off. So that's great.


----------



## leaf in the wind

My mind is really foggy, I'm fatigued, my midsection is starting to cramp. Looks like the onset of my period.


----------



## farfegnugen

loopy and poopedy


----------



## Euripides

farfegnugen said:


> loopy and poopedy


rhymey-whimey?

I felt like absolute death. Now I feel nominally war-time existing.
Progress. Now not to go tits up.


----------



## harrison

Horrible. I don't understand how things can change so quickly and I feel this black mood. Hopefully it'll be better by tomorrow when I have to talk to this psychiatrist again. I don't particularly like or trust her.


----------



## Kevin001

Eyes been bothering me, hope to sleep it off.


----------



## SparklingWater

Free


----------



## CopadoMexicano

:um


----------



## harrison

Slightly sick - always this medication does this if I try to raise the dose like the psychiatrist wants. She says just get some Mylanta. How is anyone supposed to deal with these people.

Another night to get through.


----------



## Euripides

Alone. Supremely so.
But lately also Tantalus taunted with some kind of salvation.

And, thinking about time. Not that I need to, consciously. It's oppressively present at all times, time is. 

I'm losing the will I had already borrowed on fraudulent credit from Forced Mechanical Existence, Inc. 

It's.. Once you lose track of if and how many times the Sun has lapped you, all purpose fades. I'd almost long for when I chased the Sun, and it chased me. Now I feel so outside of.. All. I already didn't know if I'd make it back "in" to catch up. Now I.. don't see the point of if/when I should succeed.

And that's the killer.

Well. That, and the solitude.


----------



## Citrine79

Unsettled and anxious.


----------



## copper

Crabby.


----------



## Crisigv

sad


----------



## Replicante

PandaBearx said:


> Really hurt


Hope you get better.

I'm just physically tired.


----------



## The Patriot

Tired of pretending I don't miss my best friends, I thought they'd be better off without me in their lives so I pushed them away and told them I hated them but I miss them. I don't want them to know that. I said some really terrible things (I secretly never meant) but I wanted them to believe it. I am too scared to tell them the truth. 3 together together forever.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired after a long work shift earlier this afternoon, but good. Will probably have some Doritos Nachos for a snack tonight.


----------



## CNikki

Sad.


----------



## Excaliber

Feeling a bit sore but well worth it to see some waterfalls


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

Content


----------



## lily

not doing great at these times


----------



## harrison

lily said:


> not doing great at these times


Sorry to hear that Lily - don't worry, things will pick up.


----------



## harrison

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Tired after a long work shift earlier this afternoon, but good. Will probably have some Doritos Nachos for a snack tonight.


I hope you're keeping an eye out for those Harry Potter first editions mate. (I should teach you how to tell the good ones)


----------



## lily

harrison said:


> Sorry to hear that Lily - don't worry, things will pick up.


Thanks for the comfort and encouragement


----------



## Forumbaby

Looking forward to this


----------



## Citrine79

Restless....off from work today but nothing to do except read stuff and get more angry about things,


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So annoyed. I cant find my extra car keys and I looked everywhere for them. I dumped out my pocketbook. Nothing. Looked on the bed and shook my cover. Still nothing. Good thing I have another pair of keys but still annoying cause I could lose these too. I need a big room, not a pathetic, small room that's only like 15 feet wide.


----------



## Crisigv

Very alone


----------



## leaf in the wind

Exhausted.


----------



## firelight

Like a severed live wire flipping around in puddles


----------



## introvert33

firelight said:


> Like a severed live wire flipping around in puddles


Creatively descriptive.

I've got nothing except tired.


----------



## zkv

Not very, just worse. There's a lot of worry floating around here. Comes and goes, I'd say a curse and a blessing I have is I can be easily distracted.


----------



## donistired

Groggy. And fed up with life, politics, and my steadily declining mental health.


----------



## The Patriot

Really Really nervous and anxious. I have to give a speech for my Virtual SA Toastmasters group. The only good thing is someone is going to be there to cheer me on.


----------



## Crisigv

I've had a headache brewing since 10am.


----------



## harrison

Not too bad thanks - slightly stir-crazy but not too bad considering. 

Plus this lady newsreader with the nice BBC accent is driving me crazy. Jesus I'll be glad when this lock-down is over. :roll


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted, depressed, sore physically, burnt out mentally & emotionally, confused, broke, poor, unlucky, alien


----------



## Graeme1988

Mixed emotions, I guess. On one hand, depressed; on the other, angry. Both stem from the same reason: being judged and berated by an older sibling for a stupid reason. And all because my mother and I bought 6 bottles of fruit juice. Apparently, that's "excessive". Even though the reason for the purchase was due to completely cut out drinking soda and other fizzy drinks. 

Ah know, what yer thinking: just tell her that. Well, I would but she tends not to listen. And, the last time I tried to explain how she was in the wrong, my older sister yelled at me, cussed me out then berated for questioning how I hadn't taken my own life, considering the dysfunction I have put up with. Apparently, there's that word again, I was being overly dramatic for daring to even say such a thing.

Wouldn't you be feeling like that, if ye spent most of yer life having to listen argument after argument amongst yer family? Then you're walking on eggshells, scared witless outta fear that you asking a simple question is going to set them off again. So, ye just keep quiet, stay mute and keep to yersel'.


----------



## Graeme1988

Another reason for my current depression is the fact that I've gained a lot of weight in the last few months.


----------



## Excaliber

Besides the allergies I'm feeling alright.


----------



## Citrine79

Apprehensive and anxious. Been able to avoid going to the store the last few months...either buying online or have others go in person for me. But I need stuff that can’t be shipped and that I really need to look at/compare things in person. So I have to go. Hope it is still early enough that it isn’t busy yet. I will be masked and social distanced but nervous/untrusting of others. Won’t make eye contact or go in an aisle with others and hopefully can do this without issue. *fingers crossed*


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am feeling good, my scratchy throat is gone today.


----------



## Kevin001

Like a caged animal seeing the world for the very first time.


----------



## SparklingWater

Tense and overwhelmed, yet still hopeful.


----------



## introvert33

Graeme1988 said:


> And all because my mother and I bought 6 bottles of fruit juice. Apparently, that's "excessive". Even though the reason for the purchase was due to completely cut out drinking soda and other fizzy drinks.
> 
> Wouldn't you be feeling like that, if ye spent most of yer life having to listen argument after argument amongst yer family? Then you're walking on eggshells, scared witless outta fear that you asking a simple question is going to set them off again. So, ye just keep quiet, stay mute and keep to yersel'.


Good on you for cutting out soda. 
I can understand why you might feel like your walking on eggshells, that sounds unhelpful. Hopefully you can get to a place where it doesn't matter to you what she says. You'll know its her issues not yours.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

A bit nervous cause my store might be getting a new boss in October. My current boss may be moody but at least she wasn't that strict so it could be a bad thing. Depends how well the next boss is. 😒


----------



## CopadoMexicano

despair. its been an awful year perhaps the most stressful year ive had in my lifetime. :um


----------



## leaf in the wind

Nostalgic.

2014 was the best


----------



## blue2

I personally think 1860 was the best : /


----------



## CNikki

Nervous. :|


----------



## zkv

Upset. I've somehow managed to have mild exterior reactions to things that feel bad for a while now, but really, it takes very little to make me nervous or upset. More so, when it's an actual thing that happens or is happening, as opposed to me just thinking negative things for no apparent reason. I don't do that as much anymore. Anyway, sometimes I'd like not having to interact with my family. Which is kind of an ungrateful thing to think, considering how much they've put up with through the years. Cabin fever from a near hermit, hilarious. Hope it means I'm (a bit more) ready to face other people. Except now, where the hell do I go to do or learn or whatever what?

Also, when I get like this I roll one cigarette after the last and end up feeling weak and sick to my stomach. Worst addiction ever.


----------



## Crisigv

I've been in a very bad place mentally. I can't get out of it and I can't rely on anyone to help. I'm alone.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Ugh, I need another coffee already. Lmao


----------



## CopadoMexicano

emotionLLY disturbed. :um


----------



## leaf in the wind

Can still barely keep my eyes open 

I may as well have just slept the entire night and day and night again into Sunday


----------



## andy1984

I trimmed my beard and felt good because personal grooming like that usually makes me feel good. and it's so sunny today so that also made me feel good.

so I felt quite stress free for the first time in a while. walked to friends place and a bit hot + tired but still feel nice. drinking coffee there, is good. but yeah a bit tired.

the flatmates haven't gotten in my way much for a few days so I think that helped me relax. was out for games night on friday and then they were out (for a change) on saturday and I went to the beach for a bit. and today things have still been pretty quiet. it's good to relax!!!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like a coward


----------



## lily

I feel excited


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

Resigned. I've tried and tried and tried but I don't get anywhere. Or I do momentarily only to be blindsided and left out in the cold. You can't form those kinds of connections with people unless you convey a particular energy. 

Either that or you need to meet criterium that are so ridiculously stringent that only very redeemable qualities can compensate for any shortcomings you might have. I think the universe is trying to convey a message. Just continue being alone and in pain. Deal with your grief. And don't try to approach others with any intention of forming intimate connections, because you will be repeatedly disillusioned by it all.


----------



## donistired

Post_Punk_Proclivity said:


> Resigned. I've tried and tried and tried but I don't get anywhere. Or I do momentarily only to be blindsided and left out in the cold. You can't form those kinds of connections with people unless you convey a particular energy.
> 
> Either that or you need to meet criterium that are so ridiculously stringent that only very redeemable qualities can compensate for any shortcomings you might have. I think the universe is trying to convey a message. Just continue being alone and in pain. Deal with your grief. And don't try to approach others with any intention of forming intimate connections, because you will be repeatedly disillusioned by it all.


Feels like a lifelong struggle for most of us here. I hope we all find ways of meaningfully connecting to people one day, and I hope it won't truly be a lifelong struggle.


----------



## alwaysrunning

Avoidant. A "friend" messaged me Friday and the last thing in their message was we should catch up soon. So, I just haven't replied because of the last thing in their message.

Also I was at my mum's yesterday and today and she was like would't you like to do a job in care. I feel like I should have done more with my life. Then a fleeting thought of I should do something but I look back to 2018. In 2018 I started employment at another job and the social aspect of having to talk day after day with colleagues just made me really unwell with intrusive thoughts. I just am not that sociable. What is there to talk about with people you see day after day, it's just not who I am and not in my heart to be this way.


----------



## Alleviate Suffering

My grandmother, my Nana died on Tuesday at the age of 101. I feel a lot of different emotions at the moment. Sadness that me, my parents and sisters were not able to go to the funeral because we live in a different country and there are still travel restrictions. We had our own little funeral on Zoom but it was still a shame. And of course sadness at the loss of a loved one. I feel relief that the pain she was in toward the end of her life is now over and that she is safe in a better place. Most of all I feel admiration at the way she lived her life and her character, her generosity, her kindness, her sense of humour (when a politician came to visit her to give her a cheque for 1000 euros for her 100th birthday and asked her what she would spend it on she told him she would spend it all on booze, even though Nana was teetotal), her independence (her husband died almost fifty years ago and she lived alone in her house up until the age of ninety eight) and her faith. 

Nana was a light in this world and my life and the lives of many others is better for her existing.


----------



## harrison

Reasonably steady, I think this extra bit of medication might be working. That new shrink lady wants me to raise it but we have to go slowly. Fortunately she's letting me do it the way I want or I'd have to get rid of her.


----------



## introvert33

Alleviate Suffering said:


> My grandmother, my Nana died on Tuesday at the age of 101. I feel a lot of different emotions at the moment. Sadness that me, my parents and sisters were not able to go to the funeral because we live in a different country and there are still travel restrictions. We had our own little funeral on Zoom but it was still a shame. And of course sadness at the loss of a loved one. I feel relief that the pain she was in toward the end of her life is now over and that she is safe in a better place. Most of all I feel admiration at the way she lived her life and her character, her generosity, her kindness, her sense of humour (when a politician came to visit her to give her a cheque for 1000 euros for her 100th birthday and asked her what she would spend it on she told him she would spend it all on booze, even though Nana was teetotal), her independence (her husband died almost fifty years ago and she lived alone in her house up until the age of ninety eight) and her faith.
> 
> Nana was a light in this world and my life and the lives of many others is better for her existing.


Sorry for your loss, sounds like she was admirable. Tough that you didn't get to go to her funeral.


----------



## Graeme1988

introvert33 said:


> Good on you for cutting out soda.


Thank you. It's been something I've been meaning to do for the last 4 years, but it only just stuck in the last year or so. Mainly because of me being instant on changing, despite my mother trying to convince me otherwise on it.



introvert33 said:


> I can understand why you might feel like your walking on eggshells, that sounds unhelpful. Hopefully you can get to a place where it doesn't matter to you what she says. You'll know its her issues not yours.


I wish it didn't matter. But when she says stuff to intentionally provoke an angry reaction it's difficult to just walk away, y'know? Like saying that I do nothing around the house, when I do things when asked and offer to help out.


----------



## CNikki

Kind of at the point anxiety has ran its course long enough where it fueled out...if that makes any sense. It's still there but my body doesn't care to respond to it.


----------



## Alleviate Suffering

introvert33 said:


> Sorry for your loss, sounds like she was admirable. Tough that you didn't get to go to her funeral.


Thankyou. x


----------



## Crisigv

Excited to try the "ice cream" dessert i made tonight. Will wait until tomorrow night so its really frozen.


----------



## lily

I had a good weekend yesterday and nice meals today so far


----------



## Graeme1988

Not great, but hopefully September will be the month when I finally get back into the swing of things properly. There's a lot of things I've been neglecting lately that I really shouldn't be.


----------



## SplendidBob

Flat. 

Despite my best efforts, taking on things that would have previously caused me extreme anxiety, I have precisely 0 to show for it.


----------



## Evo1114

I'm officially a home owner! Itching to get up there now that I own it. Stupid work is preventing that at the moment though.


----------



## SparklingWater

Evo1114 said:


> I'm officially a home owner! Itching to get up there now that I own it. Stupid work is preventing that at the moment though.


Congratulations! Huge accomplishment!

Edit- I feel listless. When I don't have a screen in front of my face, I'm truly at a loss of what to do. I know I technically have hobbies... Right? Why am I not doing them?


----------



## CopadoMexicano

working dedicatedly on self acceptance but then to come to a stall of imperfection resulting in all or nothing thinking and automatically feeling such a simple negative thought spiral out of control. :um


----------



## Citrine79

Feeling quite uneasy and unnerved about several things. Couldn’t sleep last night partly due to the large amount of tension and anxiousness I felt all over.


----------



## komorikun

I'm a complete mess. Didn't sleep well. Drank too much last night. Really shouldn't drink if I have work the next day. I'm a nervous wreck what with my job problems and my sister threatening suicide.


----------



## Karsten

I feel good. Took a walk earlier, trimmed up my hair and now I'm debating what I'm gonna have for lunch.


----------



## zonebox

The past couple of weeks were for a large part, filled with anxiety. The last few days have been especially bad, I think because I quit nicotine entirely and the withdrawals have been more brutal than I thought possible. I was at the point that I really wanted to see a therapist, and be placed on some medication.. unfortunately, my household makes to much money to qualify for medicaid, and way to little to pay for health insurance. So, the only time I'm ever going to get medical treatment, is when I am on the verge of death.



It was really brutal, and I am glad for now the anxiety is gone. I hope it stays away for a while, the environment out there is just ripe for anxiety though, it is a mess with having a pandemic, worrying about my family, worrying about my own health, and quitting nicotine to top it all off. What a perfect storm for producing a hellish existence that spans on days at a time.


Hopefully though, I'll be back to my positive self in no time. Life is too short to be stuck worrying about the worst of it all, I would rather try to enjoy it for a while. Compared to how I was feeling yesterday, and the days before then, I am feeling much better.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

@zonebox

Good luck. I would say the worst part of quitting smoking (cold turkey, which is the only way that ever worked for me) is probably the first few weeks. I'd say if you make it a week without one slip, the worst part is over. The nature of the addiction is is that steady fix. As soon as that is disrupted, the torture starts right away and if you're going to give into it, it will probably be within the first few days.

I quit in 2007 and TBH, I don't think the cravings ever really completely went away but after some time, they ease up enough to where they're just kind of background nagging instead of "MUST GET NICOTINE NOW!"

In truth, I think it's the reason why I've been so prone to overeating for pretty much all my adult life. I have quit smoking twice. I started smoking when I was ~16 and didn't quit for good until I was about 34. Now looking back I wish I had quit much younger. Or at least I hadn't started again after I quit the first time. If you make it through and don't relapse, whatever you do, never start again. It only takes one.


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> The past couple of weeks were for a large part, filled with anxiety. The last few days have been especially bad, I think because I quit nicotine entirely and the withdrawals have been more brutal than I thought possible. I was at the point that I really wanted to see a therapist, and be placed on some medication.. unfortunately, my household makes to much money to qualify for medicaid, and way to little to pay for health insurance. So, the only time I'm ever going to get medical treatment, is when I am on the verge of death.
> 
> It was really brutal, and I am glad for now the anxiety is gone. I hope it stays away for a while, the environment out there is just ripe for anxiety though, it is a mess with having a pandemic, worrying about my family, worrying about my own health, and quitting nicotine to top it all off. What a perfect storm for producing a hellish existence that spans on days at a time.
> 
> Hopefully though, I'll be back to my positive self in no time. Life is too short to be stuck worrying about the worst of it all, I would rather try to enjoy it for a while. Compared to how I was feeling yesterday, and the days before then, I am feeling much better.


Glad the anxiety's settled down for now - and good that you managed to stop smoking. I used to smoke too - but for me it was weird (as with quite a few things), I'd do it intermittently. I've always done everything like that - for example when I'd go up to Bali - lots of alcohol, chain-smoking, eat whatever I want, everything. As I've gotten older (and probably on a more suitable medication) I don't do that stuff anymore.

I also agree with @WillYouStopDave - probably best not to have another one if you can help it. Hope things settle down for you anyway mate and you stay safe over there.


----------



## zonebox

Thanks @WillYouStopDave @harrison

It's done, no more nicotine for me.. the 26th of August was my last bit of nicotine. The sad part is, how much I relied on it to handle stress and anxiety - every time I felt anxiety I would be puffing away at my ecig and it worked, it did such an awesome job. I swear it was like having a little therapist in my pocket :lol The cravings I can deal with, but having an escape from anxiety is something I really miss.

I was really surprised to find just how bad my anxiety would rise once I quit though, it was horrible. After putting up with nearly a week of that torture without it, there is no way I am going to go back to it.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

i feel exhausted after a busy day and doing about 10,000 steps for the day I do feel a little accomplished in that respect. I wish I could keep up my motivation to continue doing as many as steps as I can so I can make big changes in my health. Ever since I quit my retail job that required so much walking put an end to calorie burning and mood boosting effects of serotonin. I think I may go back in the near future especially if the pandemic has available vaccines anytime soon I could use some more physical activity outside of the house and push them shopping carts with the hopes of getting down to a particular healthy weight. :duck


----------



## Fixxer




----------



## leaf in the wind

Troubled.


----------



## IcedOver

I have less than an hour to decide if I want to go to our amusement park Kennywood this year . . . and it would be alone. I've been thinking about doing this because I haven't been in ten years and only twice in the last twenty, even though I used to like going as a kid. Tickets double in price in an hour and the park's last day for the year is Labor Day. I'm really hesitant to go alone because I feel pretty certain that I'd be caught in some awkward situations where a ride operator asks if I'm riding alone or I have to ask to be paired with someone else or a couple to meet the number of people requirement on a ride (for instance, one ride has three seats on each side). I checked, and all but one ride allows a single rider. However, I'm sure I'd get snickers. Plus, I'm feeling increasingly like I have anhedonia and wouldn't have fun even if I went. 

So I don't know.


----------



## SparklingWater

Disappointed.


----------



## zkv

After 2 mg of Alprazolam and a few cannabis hits, completely calm. This was the worst morning I've had in a while. Not home problems, just thinking. Thinking is bad, that's what I'm saying. :b


----------



## Kevin001

Nervous and excited driving to work soon first time alone. Hope merging will be smooth and parking.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

horrible. just not well lately after being followed by a driver down the street for almost a mile as I drove off to a atm and a cop car arrives and asked for ID. The office said I was going 2 mph on the street as the speed limit was 40 MPH though i was decreasing my speed incrementally to see what the hell the driver behind was doing as it eventually ended in a silly situation but out a small argument. I told the officer id call the FBI now I feel terrible and bad about myself as though the driver said he was concerned though he seemed a little threatening as I ddint want the situation to escalate. :um


----------



## SparklingWater

Little bit insecure, incompetent, out of my depth. ... I'm judging myself harshly though, so I'll soften that up. It's completely normal to feel unsure and awkward when you're doing something new.


----------



## harrison

Surprisingly settled considering how I felt last night. I guess sleep really does make a difference sometimes.


----------



## Citrine79

Awful because it is a certain time of the month which brings migraines and pain. And even more depression and anxiety on top of what I already deal with. Plus it is about to be Labor Day weekend...which has always been kinda depressing for me. When I was younger, it meant school was starting again. Now it is just a reminder that winter is coming with darkness and cold. And with the dire predictions of how bad things will be here due to Covid and the election, feeling pretty bleak abou things.


----------



## XebelRebel

I'm feeling hopeful that someone will help me to contact Zack Snyder, the movie director.

Perhaps any SAS forum members who like me -- or who have not much to do at the moment -- might upvote and or reply to the thread which I posted at Reddit.


__
https://www.reddit.com/r/Znyder/comments/im41kp


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Full from dinner.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Exhausted


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Gassy


----------



## Sekiro

Lonely. I wonder when I'll be truly happy again, but for now idk.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm not feeling bad but just slightly bothered my oldest sister got mad cause I made it 30 minutes late to my brother in law's mother's birthday. My mother texted me last night and I guess I was tired and thought she meant for me to leave at 7, not leave at 6. I apologized to my mother and my oldest sister for being late but my sister wasn't mad at me after that so I felt better. Well, at least she wasn't mad after that.


----------



## Fever Dream

It's that most wonderful time of the year when I start felling depressed. Well, more than normal, anyways.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

Turbulent and overpowered by negative emotions thats it natural disaster. :um


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## PandaBearx

Under the weather, I have a massive migraine. Took Tylenol so hopefully that helps.


----------



## andy1984

bad. bad weekend.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

andy1984 said:


> bad. bad weekend.


:hug.

Its a hectic week trying to do home repairs done. I have so much to do that it feels like a never ending story. On top of that I have so much unresolved credit card debt that needs to be paid but cant. I feel cemented almost being stuck with no where fast to go. :um


----------



## CNikki

Angry.


----------



## blue2

Sleepy.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Disappointed. Some customer gave me a card that I thought was legit or at least I wanted it to be legit cause he said he would pay 50 dollars for just an hour and a half of cleaning up his studio. It sounds sketchy or like a scam, though. :/ Would've been nice.


----------



## leaf in the wind

That bleary overslept feeling when you go to bed at 5am and wake up late in the afternoon. But there's also a nice breeze, evening sunshine, it's late summer, and the Sunday of a long weekend.


----------



## SunshineSam218

I'm feeling a lot calmer than I was a few days ago. A few days ago I was suffering with so much anxiety. Finally I can relax and take it easy. Anxiety exhaust's me so much.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I have a slight headache.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Glad I'm off for a full week. Let the fun begin.


----------



## ThoughtsLeaveMeAlone

Awful awful awful. Thoughts please go away.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit off physically


----------



## harrison

Tired.


----------



## XebelRebel

I'm feeling good about myself for creating the tastiest vegan meat-substitute burgers out of all the vegan meat-substitute burgers that I have created: they are the Green Cuisine frozen vegan burgers from BirdsEye, which I discovered in the form of an advert on the television. The vegan burgers are made from peas, and they come in a simple card packet that is easily recyclable. Lovely! 


If anyone is interested, my idea of the "tastiest vegan meat-substitute burgers" is those that taste the most like American-style "big name" fast-food burger restaurant burgers.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

embarrassed


----------



## CNikki

Like what I had for early dinner didn't settle well.


----------



## harrison

Feeling quite good considering. Had a good session with this new psychiatrist lady - I'm getting used to her I think. And she's nice to me, that's very important. (for me anyway)

Also a friend of mine in Bali contacted me and seems to be doing a lot better - she was very sick before. Hopefully can go up and see them all again one day.


----------



## uziq

Super sleeeeepy


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Not sure yet


----------



## aqwsderf

Overwhelmed. Tired. Wanting to get away.


----------



## Crisigv

Empty


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Drove through Baltimore, Maryland on part of my trip and that was interesting. Furthest I've ever been and it was so cool. My sister was with me. Everything was so big there and I wasn't used to that so it was amazing to see and to look at the people there. Now, I can say I've been to a few more states I've never been to before. Even though I didn't get out to stop, it was cool to just drive through there. Some of the best 30 minutes of my life. Not really a typical place you would go to as part of a vacation but it's more unique I guess. Seeing as I couldn't go to Washington, D.C. what with the travel restrictions.


----------



## coeur_brise

Awkward. Odd headspace. Uncertain.


----------



## harrison

Restless and amazingly bored. Think I'd better at least go to the shops tomorrow - need to see some people.


----------



## Graeme1988

Ah know ye shouldnae dwell on things but, I'm still depressed and upset after overhearing yet another family argument. This was a couple of days ago. Anyway, my 2 older sisters were having an argument over help our mother, and the youngest of the 2 said: "Can't Graeme do it?" Yet, a few days before Christmas, she - youngest of my 2 sisters - made a snide remark to my face accusing me of doing _"f_ck around here, anyway"._

It seems I'm not allowed to have a break from caring for our mother; something I've been doing since I was around 15, 16 years old. And, as always, I'm just supposed to come running when called upon.  The burden of responsibility is always on me. _F_ck! No wonder I've turned out how I have._


----------



## Blkgirlmagic100

I’m feeling.. super down because I embarrassed myself in class the other day and still ruminating about it. But happy I found this website because it’s made me feel less alone in my sa problems. Plus I’m hungover because I keep trying to calm myself with alcohol lol.


----------



## zkv

Let's see. Yesterday I woke up alright, stayed that way for a few hours, then I got a bit depressed so I went out (we have a poorly kept garden that's nice anyway) with the guitar where my father was sitting. Was OK for a few minutes but the I started to feel self-conscious and weird so I went back inside. Couple more interactions, then it slowly went downhill. My brother arrived from work, my father went out for work, I went to sleep the bad feelings away. Woke up at 2AM in an even worse mood. My father arrives from work, notices I'm upset but is really tired so we have a short exchange and he goes to bed. Then I sit in the same spot all night thinking self-hatey selfish and misanthropic thoughts until finally at about 5:30 I roll and light up a joint, and slowly but surely find myself in a better place. Not amazing, just better. Problems and worries are still there. Then in my new disposition I did what I should've done back at 2AM, take 2 mg Alzprazolam. So I'm a lot more calm, but what about the rest of the day? Will I prove to myself I can keep my cool and my emotions in check? Don't know, hope so.

These mood swings I'm dealing with could be explained a few different ways. I like the least probable one better.


----------



## Manooffewwords

Feeling lonely and stressed.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A bit sore & a bit tired


----------



## leaf in the wind

Depressed, tired, coming too close and too frequently with the Uncomfortable Truth.

Why anything? None of this matters. Life isn't getting better.


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed and lonely


----------



## kimcb7

Feeling extremely nervous lately, and just down. I have been waking up with extreme anxiety and have that knot in my chest and stomach feeling. Makes me feel like I just want to stay in bed but have to get up and get my daughter ready for school ...


----------



## CNikki

Lonely...I know that it's on my end as to why. Some of it brings a level of cognitive dissonance. At the end of the day, I know I'll never change.


----------



## aqwsderf

I've been depressed


----------



## either/or

Like I haven't slept in a month.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

either/or said:


> Like I haven't slept in a month.


:hug

Ive been feeling similar just averaging 4.2 hrs a nite for the past month according to my bipap machine, ugh. :O


----------



## uziq

Lonely and regretful


----------



## Citrine79

Ugh...I don’t like fall. And it already seems summer weather is over here as it looks and feels very fall like here today and for the last few days. Most years, I start to get really down at this time because I know how bad winters are here and how snow could be on the horizon within a few weeks and last for months. This year feels extra glum with Covid still here and flu season coming plus the election coming, which I fear won’t end well...either way.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like ****


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Better than before.


----------



## harrison

I'm awake too early and my eyes feel quite strange - I'd say a migraine's coming on.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

awful. :fall


----------



## either/or

CopadoMexicano said:


> :hug
> 
> Ive been feeling similar just averaging 4.2 hrs a nite for the past month according to my bipap machine, ugh. :O


I probably average about 5 hours a night which just isn't cutting it. I need like 7 min. Back in July and August when it was super hot I was probably only getting about 4 or so. Hate insomnia :sigh


----------



## CopadoMexicano

either/or said:


> I probably average about 5 hours a night which just isn't cutting it. I need like 7 min. Back in July and August when it was super hot I was probably only getting about 4 or so. Hate insomnia :sigh


damn that sucks, ugh. Having sleep troubles ruins your day.

Still feeling like a complete emotional wreck.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mildly hungover


----------



## Were

hurt


----------



## zkv

I'm crying. Semolina pilchard...

Tears don't come easily to me. Even though I rejected manly man bull**** most of my life, anger and violence usually crop up first. Maybe it's biology. Maybe it's the fact that all throughout my childhood and adolescence I let everyone step over me in any way they wanted, and because I was so meek I wouldn't do anything about it, or let anyone in my family know what was happening (that was mostly shame of not being like my awesome and perfect in every way older brother, which is not at all true, but what I believed). And when that was over, all that anger and frustration and violence emerged.

I was doing alright for a while, then these last three or so days were hell. For me, and for my family, because of me. I was supposed to go help my grandpa move some stuff around today and didn't. So they went, and I'm alone. A couple hours ago I was screaming curses at no one. The dogs obviously got nervous, so I let them out. Lucy didn't go out, she stayed and licked my hands and face like 'chin up, dude. I still love you' and slowly I regained my cool. Called my grandpa, apologized. Called my mom, apologized. Called my older brother and talked a little about an unnecessarily negative call I gave him yesterday. The moment I hanged up, the tears started flowing. And it felt good. Wish I could always cry when I'm upset instead of giving everyone else ****.

I'm not crying anymore.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Pretty neutral, not too shabby. On my second cup of coffee still in bed at quarter past noon on a Saturday with some sunny windows next to me. My GI system has regulated itself and is functioning again... I'm sure the coffee helped, and the roughage I made myself eat yesterday.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

feeling better but with my caseworker its nothing but anger so intense i start feeling like im not part of my thoughts, body, mental apparatus etc.


----------



## CNikki

Physically, nauseated and in pain. Psychologically, defeated. Not sure if the two are related in some way.


----------



## harrison

I think I might be starting to wake up - that's a bit frightening.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## lily

I am not feeling so happy about today. I slept so much due to my medication I'm still on but eventually I got up and ate dinner and a fruit. I don't think I was even hungry at lunch time. I want to try to exercise today since yesterday I did not  but I ate fruit yesterday too and healthy drink. Thank God, that helps


----------



## Crisigv

Done with my life


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pretty damn good.


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

I'm feeling a number of things and I'm struggling to identify which one stands out the most.


----------



## lily

I hope tomorrow will be a good day for me, I'm really looking forward to it! it was so screwed up today but I ate as healthy as possible after including taking my healthy supplements and also prior early in the morning and ate a fruit and healthy drink but it just doesn't feel satisfying today that I didn't get to really exercise today or yesterday!! Did some exercise only but it wasn't enough! I wish to make up for it tomorrow!! That would make me happy.


----------



## uziq

Sad. Nothing pleasant in sight, either. Trying not to give up again.


----------



## Tetragammon

Depressed, irritable and extremely frustrated. I just can't seem to find anything enjoyable. The games and junk food and heavy music aren't doing anything for me. I'm so exhausted and just want to sleep all the time -- which is ironic because the insomnia keeps me up for hours when I try to sleep, and then wakes me up half a dozen times throughout the night. I wish I could just shut off my brain entirely for a month or a year or a decade... Or maybe just forever. I'm so incredibly sick of feeling like the only sane person in a completely insane world.


----------



## rabidfoxes

Tired and hungover. The last few times I had a drink I didn't even want it, I just did it because apparently other people couldn't enjoy their beers if I was having sparkling water. Now I need to work but my brain is on vacation and all I want to do is roll on a sofa with a blanket and a movie. I should really accommodate people less and just drink when I want it. Which is less and less as time passes by. I want it to accompany things, not be the thing.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

like if i had killed someone all consumed with guilt thats inappropriate to the situation and feeling like i have no right to exist even in my own home. So when im in public the feeling just heightens to extreme levels one negative thoughts festers or spirals out of control.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Immensely sleepy despite two cups of coffee and 14 hours of sleep last night.


----------



## Barakiel

Abysmal.


----------



## discopotato

I'm feeling anxious about my dad's upcoming early retirement. His job is pretty much the only thing that stops him from being a full time alcoholic.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

mangled, tangled, totally disabled, :duck


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sad that today is my last day of my vacation. But at least I get one.


----------



## aqwsderf

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Sad that today is my last day of my vacation. But at least I get one.


Did you end up going somewhere


----------



## harrison

I think a truck might have run over my head again while I was asleep.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

aqwsderf said:


> Did you end up going somewhere


Yea, I stayed gone on a trip for 4 nights. Didn't realize until after I got to where I was vacationing that I was a little over an hour away from Washington, D.C. but I didn't drive through there to look around during my trip cause of the protesting and quarantining going on there. I almost would've made it up there but I had fun either way where I went. I was right on the border of Maryland and West Virginia and went to Harper's Ferry in West Virginia. It was cool. Has a lot of history.  I got to see Baltimore at least. So that was fun driving around there for awhile.


----------



## Sekiro

im one sleepy boi


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Like a loser. No one even cared I was back at work after one week off. Didnt even get an I missed you or anything. Then my first customer wanted to do reverse psychology on me trying to make it seem like I didnt do something right on my job but I didnt fall for it this time cause I would know since it's my job. I guess today could've gone worse. I could've gotten picked on by a coworker that thinks they're the boss or yelled at by one of them. So I guess I'd rather feel like a loser than get in trouble by someone who thinks they're above me.


----------



## lily

I had on nice day on the weekend


----------



## harrison

Very glad that passed reasonably quickly but I still feel like I've been hit by a ****ing truck.


----------



## AnnSaysHi

Not doing too well. Just joined even though I've been suffering from SA for a long time. With the pandemic, I've had conflicting feelings of relief of not having to interact with people and growing loneliness. Good friends are hard to find and even harder to find supportive people who know what to say or do to uplift you. (Mostly because they haven't dealt with their own issues) Therapy only helps so much. It's the ironic twist with SA to want to be alone yet needing to belong somewhere. 

:rain


----------



## harrison

AnnSaysHi said:


> Not doing too well. Just joined even though I've been suffering from SA for a long time. With the pandemic, I've had conflicting feelings of relief of not having to interact with people and growing loneliness. Good friends are hard to find and even harder to find supportive people who know what to say or do to uplift you. (Mostly because they haven't dealt with their own issues) Therapy only helps so much. It's the ironic twist with SA to want to be alone yet needing to belong somewhere.
> 
> :rain


I know the feeling - it's horrible isn't it.

Welcome to SAS anyway - hope you find a bit of comfort here.


----------



## lily

feeling unmotivated. I'm supposed to be exercising by now but so unmotivated from medication! I want next month to be the better month and I'm bored too and not feeling well


----------



## uziq

groovy and inebriated


----------



## AnnSaysHi

Thank you! I hope so too


----------



## AnnSaysHi

harrison said:


> I know the feeling - it's horrible isn't it.
> 
> Welcome to SAS anyway - hope you find a bit of comfort here.


Thank you! I hope so too!


----------



## Lohikaarme




----------



## Citrine79

Feel like a migrane is coming on...ugh. Feeling miserable and lackluster overrall plus super unmotivated. Hardly getting any work done these last couple days...starting to fall behind on things but I don’t care all that much.


----------



## Smallfry

Drained again by migraine and neck pain


----------



## copper

I am had it with everything today. One consumer of mine is complaining of sore throat, coughing, weakness. He was told to go to ER to get checked out and tested for COVID. So he decides today he won't do this unless he gets more spending money from his Case Manager. He is on a tight budget due to only getting $730 per month from his SSI, and SDI combined. His rent is $500 and with the other expenses he doesn't have much breathing room. Right now he is getting $50 per week in spending. Now he is playing this I will hold my breath until I get what I want. I spent 15 minutes explaining the importance for his health and others health to go get tested. He goes on how we don't care about him. Wants a new Guardian. He probably will file a complaint against me with the stupid Rights Officer upstairs. On top of this the pull chain to shut off my ceiling fan came off in my hand. So I can't shut the thing off. Also, I noticed one of my rear shocks on my vehicle is leaking oil so it needs to be replaced. The vehicle only has 43,000 miles on it and shocks usually go more than 100,000 miles before needing to be replaced. Now every idiot in the country keeps calling. I will be glad when it is 5 pm so I can shut the phone off.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

feeling persistently rejected and overlooked. :um


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Annoyed that my worker wants to make things difficult for me just cause I got a one week vacation. I have to work 6 days in a row cause she wants 5 days off in a row then requests a day off already for next year. lol She wants to be so nitpicky. I told her I could work on the one day she was supposed to work so I could get 2 days off in a row instead then she *****es about how she wont get a good paycheck. Like okay. Maybe you shouldnt be requesting so many days off then acting super nitpicky about the schedule. I tell her I can work her work day, she complains. Then she complains about working too much. Jesus christ lady..you need help. Then she has the nerve to text me to call her on my off time and gets annoyed at me on the phone. Why isnt this considered harassment but its only harassment when guys or girls sexually harrass you? But this is okay? She shouldnt be bothering me on my off time. If I stood up for myself again I would have people making me feel like I committed a sin but now I get told I'm too nice because I let her walk over me? Give me a friggin break. Its not called being nice. It's called not wanting to get fired. Friggin duh. I am not a pushover. I don't stand up for her because I care about myself and want to get money to make a living not because I don't mind her walking all over me. She might be slightly better than she used to but idk man. She's been annoying again recently. Telling the boss on her is out of the question cause obviously she's going to take her side constantly. lol It wasnt okay whenever I called her months ago while she was off work cause of stuff she didnt do right at work that I didn't want to get inn trouble for but she can harass me over the phone while I'm at home. That is wrong.

Whatever. At least I get 2 days off in a row next week. God, I hate it when people tell me I'm too nice. Makes me want to throw up. I think I'm in a better mood now but still a bit annoyed. 😒


----------



## harrison

My wife thought it was funny that I didn't know where some of the corridors in my building actually go to. She's never lived in a place like this. (thank God) The worst thing that could happen to you in her area is you might get licked to death by a Golden Retriever.

Here you keep your head down and you mind your own business.


----------



## uziq

Feel like crap today. There’s a suffocating weight of having nothing to look forward to.


----------



## megatheriidae

RBG just died and we are so ****ed and yeah that's how I'm feeling.


----------



## Sekiro

I don't know why I even bother with people sometimes.


----------



## melancholyscorpio

Depressed. Lost. 

I don't know who I am. I don't understand why I can't accept myself. 

I struggle with liking myself.

In the words of RuPaul: "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else!"


----------



## harrison

More than a little aggressive. And astonishingly bored - again.


----------



## donistired

Really dejected.


----------



## zonebox

It has been about ninety eight days since I have felt a sense of relief, today it just happened, I started to feel good. I think that sepsis really screwed around with my body, it really messed around with my head. I had really severe anxiety attacks, along with depression that just wouldn't go away. Today was the first day in a long time, where I have snapped out of it and felt a genuine sensation of happiness. 



I think this is the third such occasion in my life, where I have experienced a prolonged period of ****. The first was after losing my girlfriend when I was 17, the second was in 2012 when I almost lost a family member, and this past one. These long ones suck so incredibly bad, I'm just glad it is over with. A week or two, even three are bad enough, but I can usually hold out for a while until they are over. Week after week, with no end in sight, it starts to get hard.


But, I am feeling good right now. Even if I don't tomorrow, I know I still have it in me.


----------



## leaf in the wind

Unshakable sleepiness. Even though I had a ton of coffee and slept tons. I don't know if this is physical or mental.


----------



## harrison

Feeling okay. Got something packed up and sent off - which is always a hassle to me for some reason. I worry about it when they've paid a fair bit for it. Good to have it done.


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> It has been about ninety eight days since I have felt a sense of relief, today it just happened, I started to feel good. I think that sepsis really screwed around with my body, it really messed around with my head. I had really severe anxiety attacks, along with depression that just wouldn't go away. Today was the first day in a long time, where I have snapped out of it and felt a genuine sensation of happiness.
> 
> I think this is the third such occasion in my life, where I have experienced a prolonged period of ****. The first was after losing my girlfriend when I was 17, the second was in 2012 when I almost lost a family member, and this past one. These long ones suck so incredibly bad, I'm just glad it is over with. A week or two, even three are bad enough, but I can usually hold out for a while until they are over. Week after week, with no end in sight, it starts to get hard.
> 
> But, I am feeling good right now. Even if I don't tomorrow, I know I still have it in me.


Sorry to hear it's been a bit rough lately mate - and glad you're feeling a bit better. Hang in there.


----------



## zonebox

harrison said:


> Sorry to hear it's been a bit rough lately mate - and glad you're feeling a bit better. Hang in there.


Thanks dude, I'm glad I'm feeling a bit better too  On the plus side, I've lost about 30 pounds since July, I've got about another 50 -70 more to go.


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> Thanks dude, I'm glad I'm feeling a bit better too  On the plus side, I've lost about 30 pounds since July, I've got about *another 50 -70 more to go*.


Omg - you'll be wasting away mate. You didn't look like you needed to lose weight in the photos you posted?

I need to start doing a bit of exercise. I just watched a video about a guy I follow up in Thailand doing some exercise and now I feel like I need a lie down.


----------



## zonebox

harrison said:


> Omg - you'll be wasting away mate. You didn't look like you needed to lose weight in the photos you posted?
> 
> I need to start doing a bit of exercise. I just watched a video about a guy I follow up in Thailand doing some exercise and now I feel like I need a lie down.


Thanks again  I'm actually pretty heavy for my height, at 5'8 I currently weigh 235 lbs, to think I was 265 pounds just a short time ago. The lowest I have been in my adult life was 170 and even then I had a bit of a belly, the highest was 290 pounds when I was working at a call center and eating fast food every night. I think I would probably be healthiest at around 155 - 165 pounds, I could aim for being a bit heavier but have no interest in weight lifting or building up bulk. Most of my fat tends to go to my butt, belly, chest, and my hips so it is pretty easy to hide with a baggy shirt. The quarantine really did not help with the weight situation.

I've been walking a lot lately, well a lot for me. About 3-6 miles a day depending on my mood, it is nice to get out of the house and get some fresh air. I hope to break out of the 200 pound range in another three or four months, it has been a long time since I have seen under 200 pounds.


----------



## SparklingWater

Annoyed. Annoyed with myself, with everyone, with society, with life. I also think I'm depressed, but I'm so used to being depressed that it's only bothering me now as I recover. Feel better and the old way of life feels like ****. Poor me. Swear I've been depressed since... possibly 10 months old. Sad thing is it's not even a ****ing exaggeration. Oh well, onward and upwards. What else can you do.


----------



## The Patriot

Like things will never get better for me. I am just going through the motions


----------



## Citrine79

Miserable....sick of dealing with other people’s (talking about work colleagues here) incompetence, laziness and just overrall lack of concern. I used to care somewhat and be detail oriented and willing to help others. Now...I don’t care at all, do the bare minimum required of me and I have only certain co-workers I’d help out or look into things for. My company disgusts me and makes me even more sad and down about everything. I want change so bad it hurts...but it hurts more knowing I don’t have the strength, support or mental state to do anything about it.


----------



## zonebox

Very relieved, for the past two weeks I was worried about my wife. She had an exam done a little over three weeks ago and her doctor was concerned as she has had a cyst on an ovary. Due to that, we went to the radiologist and she had a few scans taken, the doctor called a couple of days later even more concerned - she showed signs of a fatty liver and an enlarged kidney. There was talk that it could be cancer, and in the doctor's notes the kidney was noted for having a growth on it. The notes were apparently wrong though, thankfully. Last week she went back to the radiologist for more detailed scans, including some with contrast and we just found out now that everything looks fine.. 



Damn 2020 has been a stressful year. Thankfully everything is okay now, I think tonight I might have a bit of rum in celebration of her health.


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> Thanks again  I'm actually pretty heavy for my height, at 5'8 I currently weigh 235 lbs, to think I was 265 pounds just a short time ago. The lowest I have been in my adult life was 170 and even then I had a bit of a belly, the highest was 290 pounds when I was working at a call center and eating fast food every night. I think I would probably be healthiest at around 155 - 165 pounds, I could aim for being a bit heavier but have no interest in weight lifting or building up bulk. Most of my fat tends to go to my butt, belly, chest, and my hips so it is pretty easy to hide with a baggy shirt. The quarantine really did not help with the weight situation.
> 
> *I've been walking a lot lately, well a lot for me. About 3-6 miles a day depending on my mood, it is nice to get out of the house and get some fresh air.* I hope to break out of the 200 pound range in another three or four months, it has been a long time since I have seen under 200 pounds.


Sounds good mate - yeah I'm (sometimes) a bit of a walker too. I was only ever really into exercise when I was young - I could run back then and used to quite a bit. I was always skinny - good for long distance. 

Not so skinny nowadays - a bit of middle age spread happening. (I like to pretend I'm still middle-aged)  It can be hard to keep weight off the tummy area. For some reason I'm much better at exercising when I'm up in Bali - get up early and go down to the beach for a long walk. I really miss doing that - will be a while before we can get back there.


----------



## andy1984

pretty ****ing amazing. had been a while since I did my yoga + exercise + meditation. feels so relaxed.


----------



## introvert33

So bored atm. Today I felt like its an impossible task, and I'm no good.


----------



## blue2




----------



## Cletis

A little better everyday.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

As though there’s an unquenchable sorrow in the depths of my soul


----------



## CopadoMexicano

beyond distraught and disaster.


----------



## SparklingWater

* *




Tired. Bored. Had a rough week. Notice how indecisive and reluctant I am to take actions that may tie me into one choice. Very scared of making the 'wrong' decision. But no decision is still a decision.

Also, frustrated with how black and white certain movements can be. If you agree with 99% of something and take issue with 1thing, some will bite your head off. What happened to encouraging discussion and thinking for oneself. These days fall in line and agree with everything or else you're on the outside.

Also feel validated. I was 100% right abt the overpricing. To date it's been lowered more than $5.5k. Knock off another $1.5k and it'll actually be appropriately priced. Sometimes I told you so does feel good. Mostly when they were kinda smug and insistent to begin with.


----------



## Excaliber

Feeling much better than last week, I can actually move around now


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Excaliber said:


> Feeling much better than last week, I can actually move around now


This is great news  Hope it stays that way.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Feeling much better than last week, I can actually move around now


Glad to hear you're better mate - you didn't fall of that bike did you?


----------



## Excaliber

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> This is great news  Hope it stays that way.





harrison said:


> Glad to hear you're better mate - you didn't fall of that bike did you?


Thank you both 

No I didn't fall off my bike, I had a very bad abdominal strain (my muscles tore), I went into the ER because we all thought I had a hernia, which runs in our family. I could not walk or move well because it was that painful.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Thank you both
> 
> No I didn't fall off my bike, I had a very bad abdominal strain (my muscles tore), I went into the ER because we all thought I had a hernia, which runs in our family. I could not walk or move well because it was that painful.


Jee, that would hurt. Glad you're okay now mate - take care over there.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Jee, that would hurt. Glad you're okay now mate - take care over there.


Thanks harrison, I hope your doing well over on your end, lockdown should be getting close to over now?


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Thanks harrison, I hope your doing well over on your end, lockdown should be getting close to over now?


Yes numbers are coming right down now mate - only 12 new cases I think today, so heading in the right direction.

Hopefully soon they'll get down to under 5 and we can get out a bit more. Will be great.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Some old man knocked on my car door while I was reading and asked if I'm okay. I said yea then he noticed me reading and said a lot of young people are always on their phones and seemed impressed that I waa reading. I'm not sure if he asked me if I was alright cause it was just that weird to him to see a younger person reading or if it's because he thought something was actually. wrong. I guess it's a compliment. It made my day extra better. 


Although, I don't understand the hate that phones get so much cause plenty of people play videogames and no one usually says anything bad about games. I use my phone a good bit but also don't at the same time. Some days I use it for like 3 hours and I dont mind it. It's relaxing.


----------



## harrison

Like I need to be sedated. Thank God I've got some Valium.


----------



## CNikki

Doubtful and a bit discouraged.


----------



## harrison

Bit better but still like I could tear a wall down with my bare hands.


----------



## firelight

So ****ing guilty and ashamed. There are a thousand reasons and sometimes it's just too much to keep at bay.


----------



## The Patriot

Like I'm wasting my time doing toastmasters because I suck at talking and feel like I'm never going to get better. I stumble and don't know what to say both verbally and like texting, online messaging wise. Why I feel like I should quit my social media pages. I'm terrible at verbalizing and saying what it would take another guy less than 2 seconds to say or text. When I talk or text I dry out women's.. Anyways. Yeah I am a bore.


----------



## Crisigv

Horrible. I don't want to go to work anymore.


----------



## harrison

Tired - a stressful day. Always something to deal with.


----------



## SparklingWater

Bored, scared. I've outgrown my life, but I'm always terrified to move to a new phase. I hate I was taught to be afraid of the world and that I couldn't trust people. Does not help when you want to expand your comfort zone.


----------



## Replicante

f u c k 2020!


----------



## CNikki

Like what ever small hopes and 'promises' I had are slowly being diminished...


----------



## InaAya

For the most part, I've been feeling incredibly stressed out and worthless.


----------



## Wanderlust26

Sooo mad. I told my mom twice that she doesn't have to worry about watering my Venus fly trap because I need to use distilled water for it. Since she thought I was being dramatic about a plant's sensitivities to contaminants in tap water, she watered it anyways and now it's dying. Ugh!


----------



## ScorchedEarth

Better, if only because of unhealthy coping methods and seclusion. Still wishing I didn't exist.


----------



## harrison

So alone it's like an ache in my ****ing chest.


----------



## MercuryGal

I'm really lonely and I miss the feeling of love..


----------



## Crisigv

Depression is hitting hard today. :rain


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry again. Better go and eat something.


----------



## Lohikaarme

I think I need help but I'm too scared to ask for it


----------



## leaf in the wind

Hyped up on anxiety. Slept fitfully. 

Just restless and fearful, seeing things shut down again.


----------



## jim11

My heart is pounding


----------



## CopadoMexicano

terrible


----------



## SparklingWater

* *




Nervous to get on the road tomorrow. Glad I had therapy today to talk it out. Got helpful feedback. I always try to plan 20 steps down the line, then end up talking myself out of things and not getting anywhere. But it's ok to just know the next step or 2. I'm competent, I have resources, I have a support system (though not as robust as I'd like.) There's a 98% chance everything will be fine barring a break down (which I have resources for) and maybe the odd criminal which is unlikely. I'm actually pretty excited. Funny how nerves can be that way. Nervous, excited, maybe both.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm so confused as to why these people get rid of a door cause it's a "weak" door. Whatever that means. Then they get an old door that I guess is someone else's that you can't even lock when you leave to go out and you have to push on it with your shoulder to open it. Whenever I'm gone at work and they're gone all day someone could possibly just come in the house with it unlocked. It just doesn't make sense...Stupidity at its finest on that one.


----------



## Glue

Tired. So ****ing tired. Don’t want to be here at work today


----------



## SparklingWater

Scared


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Still tired and stuffy. Not in a good mood right now.


----------



## CNikki

Not sure if anxious more so than sad. Anxiously sad?


----------



## leaf in the wind

I'm floating outside my body.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

In getting tired of this cranky ***** at work harassing me on my off time about the damn schedule. She is a literal Karen and needs a damn slap on the face. My nerves are acting up and I'm oissed at her. I keep ignoring her texts but she doesnt want to stop. She doesnt deseve a job at all ever again for the rest of her life.


----------



## SparklingWater

Frustrated. I've got to learn/practice speaking up for myself regardless of other's reactions..


----------



## Excaliber

I got my hot chocolate, so I'm good.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good. Got my coffee, Amon Amarth in the background, and chatting with a certain someone


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Terrible


----------



## harrison

Like I need to increase my medication - it's nowhere near a therapeutic dose. But when I try to raise it I feel very sick.


----------



## sparklingstars

Extremely lonely and isolated. Worried about winter, when I'll be stuck in the house alone for days on end. Feeling like a general failure at life.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

People love to. excuse bad ****ing behavior then wonder why people get away with ****. Retards. Never thought I'd say it again but maybe I need a beer, like a light beer that wont make me depressed.


----------



## harrison

Pretty bored. Should be back on Lexapro or something - at least I could just lie here and stare at my bookshelf for half the day like I used to.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like ****


----------



## Sekiro




----------



## SparklingWater

Tired of this ****.


----------



## jim11

My herniated disk is flaring up again.


----------



## aqwsderf

My family is still unstable but I feel okay, maybe I should go walk by the lake today and get some peace of mind


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

aqwsderf said:


> My family is still unstable but I feel okay, maybe I should go walk by the lake today and get some peace of mind


A walk by the lake would be healthy to do. Get some fresh air. Sorry to hear how things are going. I couldn't deal with that.


----------



## kings_speech

Isolated but strangely optimistic. Maybe it's the coffee!


----------



## aqwsderf

PurplePeopleEater said:


> A walk by the lake would be healthy to do. Get some fresh air. Sorry to hear how things are going. I couldn't deal with that.


I do feel better after walking there. : )
It's nice to be outside and doing something productive. Being at home too long sometimes can bring me down


----------



## either/or

I don't know what to do with myself. I wish I had beer. Beer makes you know what to do with yourself better.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

disoriented


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

aqwsderf said:


> I do feel better after walking there. : )
> It's nice to be outside and doing something productive. Being at home too long sometimes can bring me down


Yea, I don't always like staying inside, either. That's good.


----------



## Sloqx

I'm feeling a mixture of things. Sad, lonely, numb, hopeless.


----------



## Elle Knight

I just returned on here and thinking of running off again. I get so bored easily.


----------



## PandaBearx

Happy, scored a 100 on my test today.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

petrified


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry again. Better eat something.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sad. My sister says medical coding is not an easy thing to do so looks like I won't be working from home. I'm too slow to do anything. I think I'm gonna go cry now.


----------



## Crisigv

it's just picking away at me, one day at a time


----------



## zonebox

Beer and a game, a winning combination that is certain to bring a smile to my face.









​I'm feeling good, for the moment life is gewd.​


----------



## harrison

I'm feeling slightly agitated.

I've only been watching the debate for 20 minutes but I've already got a crush on Kamala Harris. That can't be good. :roll


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> Beer and a game, a winning combination that is certain to bring a smile to my face.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ​I'm feeling good, for the moment life is gewd.​


Looks good mate - I like the way that keyboard lights up like that.

Hope everything's going okay over there.


----------



## zonebox

harrison said:


> Looks good mate - I like the way that keyboard lights up like that.
> 
> Hope everything's going okay over there.


I like it too, this is an HP Omen laptop that I had purchased on sale a little while ago - it is still holding up pretty good despite a few years of use now. The past few months have been rocky, they really have been, but it is getting better - thankfully. This beer really did hit the sweet spot though, it was fantastic  I hope all is going well in your life as well.


----------



## SparklingWater

Happy. I've had a fantastic week. Didn't anticipate that at all (especially after the first few days.) Amazing what time and distance will do for ya. Feel like a brand new woman.


----------



## CNikki

Aloof and 'out of it'. Should I really care at this point?


----------



## lily

I'm still having problems with medications I'm on, feeling tired a lot and having lack of motivation, it takes will-power to do things. I wonder how I would be like in November.


----------



## zonebox

I'm feel pretty good lately, things are starting to move along nicely again.


----------



## spitfire444

zonebox said:


> I'm feel pretty good lately, things are starting to move along nicely again.


Decent. Long may THAT continue!


----------



## harrison

Dull headache all day and tired.


----------



## zkv

Pretty good. Things have stabilized at home. Brother was going through some stuff, namely his moving out plans crashed and burned because his friend got cold feet or was maybe convinced not to do it by his parents. Tough week, but he's doing better now, thank god. Just hope they can move on and things go back to normal between them soon. He doesn't have many friends, and this one has been the only one in his life for a while.


----------



## zonebox

I had a bag of sugar free caramels last night.. omg.. a word of advice to others - never.. ever.. ever ever eva, eat a lot of candies with sugar alcohols in them. They taste good, but the things they do to your stomach, phew.. It has been about 12 hours now and I'm still feeling a bit off, probably due to dehydration thanks to those candies. I should have read the reviews of the candy before indulging myself.



But yeah, feeling a bit tired and off. Drinking lots of water to re-hydrate myself, I think I'll probably feel fine in a few more hours.


----------



## kurtzouma

I am feeling bored.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Looks like that woman might finally leave at my job. It took someone telling her I've been talking around about her at work to decide to leave. Maybe standing up to her has finally paid off.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Mixed bag


----------



## CopadoMexicano

deep sorrow


----------



## CNikki

Not so bad at the moment.


----------



## Citrine79

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Sad. My sister says medical coding is not an easy thing to do so looks like I won't be working from home. I'm too slow to do anything. I think I'm gonna go cry now.


I haven't done coding myself but I have worked a long time in the medical billing field and for 3 different specialties and all of them have had coders who work from home without major issues. It definitely can be done so keep your hopes up!

I'm considering renting at one of those storage locker places and just dumping all the crap sitting in my room (like lots of unused bags and shoes) in there so I don't have to look at it any longer. Since my bedroom is now my office, I need less clutter and more space...and a fresh outlook on things as I lack motivation these days.


----------



## Mik3

Really really tired but not physically like I work a lot and I should be physically tired but I'm just mentally drained more than anything. Been thinking about what my purpose is recently why am I here putting on a smile everyday pretending that I'm perfectly fine when in reality every day drags and I don't find joy in anything anymore. The spark in me has gone and tbh my heart just isn't in it anymore I've grown cynical and given up on finding true happiness.

Peace be to you all hope I find everyone in better health if anyone reads this I wish you all the luck in the world x


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Citrine79 said:


> I haven't done coding myself but I have worked a long time in the medical billing field and for 3 different specialties and all of them have had coders who work from home without major issues. It definitely can be done so keep your hopes up!
> 
> I'm considering renting at one of those storage locker places and just dumping all the crap sitting in my room (like lots of unused bags and shoes) in there so I don't have to look at it any longer. Since my bedroom is now my office, I need less clutter and more space...and a fresh outlook on things as I lack motivation these days.


I'm not even sure. My oldest sister says theres a lot of rules to know and the rules change constantly. It sounds stressful. Plus, it doesnt even seem like my thing. I do want to work from home, though. I told my sister I'm not doing it and she was worried I already. paid for the classes. I'm scared to risk paying for classes just to end up dropping out again like I did years ago.


----------



## SparklingWater

Anxious


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

Melancholy


----------



## harrison

Much better than this morning thank God. Terrible anxiety then and for no apparent reason.


----------



## SparklingWater

Validated. Always nice when you hear someone you really respect shares the same opinion as you. Independence blah blah blah but everything's a balance. It's nice to know you belong even when your opinions aren't mainstream.


----------



## zonebox

harrison said:


> Much better than this morning thank God. Terrible anxiety then and for no apparent reason.


I hate when that happens, I'm glad you are feeling better dude


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> I hate when that happens, I'm glad you are feeling better dude


Thanks a lot mate. Yeah it's horrible isn't it. I think with me it has something to do with my sleep - one of my old shrinks used to always ask me how I've been sleeping.


----------



## SparklingWater

Bored, disappointed, frustrated and uncertain. Just ugh! 

Hmmm. And underpinning all those emotions is fear to speak up about something. Then all that other stuff shoots up from it and distracts me.


----------



## Replicante

Slow


----------



## zkv

Weird, just really weird. Can't remember what the dream was but I do remember it being anxiety-inducing. Maybe I need coffee, yes. Coffee coffee coffee...


----------



## harrison

Very tired.


----------



## alwaysrunning

Different to other people. Misunderstood. I am not going to my class today as it is "that time of the month" it just absolutely plays havoc with my emotions. You can try and tell some people what things are like for you and they will never be able to understand. I just cannot do friendships; the social aspect is too difficult; having to talk all the time. I don't want to do that now.


----------



## copper

Arthritis is flaring up. It feels like someone is jabbing a knife into my right knee. A bunch of rain is coming. I checked the pain index it is a ten today being the worst. I also can't get my laptop to connect with the server at work. Stupid thing is down again.


----------



## uziq

dull and sad


----------



## ScorchedEarth

Actually fine for now. Still hope to be ashes in less than 2 years.


----------



## donistired

Not very good.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I hope everyone will feel better. Tomorrow is either Friday for you or Saturday. The weekend. Try to feel good and do something enjoyable for once. 



Sent from my Spirit using Tapatalk


----------



## kesker

I woke up this morning with the weirdest scariest sensation of heat and dizziness and thought, for a while, I might have to go to emergency. I've since partly recovered but I still feel worn down. Not something I needed (I guess no one needs this, lol).


----------



## InaAya

Kind of anxious on and off all day. I feel a bit better now though.


----------



## Fun Spirit

kesker said:


> I woke up this morning with the weirdest scariest sensation of heat and dizziness and thought, for a while, I might have to go to emergency. I've since partly recovered but I still feel worn down. Not something I needed (I guess no one needs this, lol).


Kesker  

I sorry to hear this. I hope you are OK. I really feel for you because it can be scary when you go through this thing alone. I hope your day will be better for you. Take it easy.
:squeeze

Sent from my Spirit using Tapatalk


----------



## kesker

Thanks! @Sunshine Lady. It's good to "see" you.  I feel better today, maybe just a freak blood sugar thing. :eyes Thank you for the kind support. :squeeze


----------



## Fun Spirit

kesker said:


> Thanks! @Sunshine Lady. It's good to "see" you.  I feel better today, maybe just a freak blood sugar thing. :eyes Thank you for the kind support. :squeeze


Oh 
I hope not
You're welcome

Also: Why is see in quotations? lol


----------



## aqwsderf

Crappy today. This is all meaningless


----------



## zkv

I don't know if my mother is right to be upset with me or if I'm right to be annoyed with her for being upset. I don't know when my brother has a problem with me or just a problem in general but it's effectively the same thing since he throws the negativity around all the same without actually saying anything. I don't know. Guess there are a lot of angles to consider. Some of the blame goes to me for sure but some of the things they say sound ridiculous to me.

It's funny that my father's the person I find it easiest to talk to these days, considering for the longest time I firmly believed he was an emotionally stunted ***hole and didn't want to have anything to do with him. It was largely his fault, too, despite the (somewhat valid) 'I work all day' excuse. I mean I was impossible but when you've got kids, you've got to get involved. If you don't like that wear a ****ing condom.

I'm going back home now. The plan? Keep it cool, no matter how annoying or stupid I find what I have to listen to.


----------



## shouldeyefallbehind

getting really sick of this lockdown. I wish there was more people to talk to. I think the isolation is starting to get to me. Although hopefully all the people that have caused me pain in the past are suffering through it even worse then I am. So, that's kind of a nice sadistic thought


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Having. a hard time going outside to clean the car cause these people are in the kitchen talking to two neighbors and I have to go through the kitchen unless I want them thinking I'm avoiding them by going out the back door. Theyll notice me going out the back door. I wish I didnt hsve to clean my car. Just another thing that involves interacting with people.


----------



## uziq

Pretty bad, which is the norm since March or so. Everything feels fruitless right now. Also I woke up last night from weird heart palpitations. I’m not anxious over it. They make me sweaty and clammy. As if it’s an actual heart issue and not some psychosomatic symptom. Regardless, I didn’t care. I was just annoyed at having to fall back asleep. If some heart issue makes me stroke out or something, then at least I can pass peacefully knowing I didn’t do it to myself.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Cold


----------



## Sekiro

I'm very sleepy xD


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel ok. 

Sent from my Spirit using Tapatalk


----------



## thomasjune

Relaxed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## thomasjune

I'm no longer relaxed. :/ I'm feeling stressed out again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## andy1984

avoidy. didn't step out the door today


----------



## harrison

I'm nervous about going out again - we've been in lockdown for so long I'm going to be very nervous about getting a tram etc. And my son wants me to come and see his new apartment in the city. Will be so weird going into town again.


----------



## XebelRebel

The previous morning I was fantasizing about Gal Gadot being paired with Katya on my favourite BBC entertainment programme. I imagined them both in sparkly red sequined dresses. I even imagined Katya doing her absurdly over-excited "YAAAAAS!" into the air while clenching her fists, then running towards Gal and jumping into her arms -- or maybe it was Gal who ran towards her -- after Tess said "...it's Gal Gadot!"

I was smiling so much at the idea of that! 

Now I have discovered that Katya is paired with Nicola on the TV show: a first girl-girl partnership!

I had not seen, read, or heard anything about the TV show; I only found out that it was back on TV again the previous evening. And the TV show was literally back on TV again that evening. I have seen a picture of them together, but I have not seen the show yet.


----------



## donistired

Been stuck on my bed most of today


----------



## CNikki

More awake than the usual (which doesn't say much.) Not the best idea to have coffee at this hour.


----------



## SplendidBob

Frazzled. I keep doing the "right things". Taking the wisest path, and its not really helping me much atm. My mind still is sucked back to my ex, I still wake with depression, my life hasn't changed from 5 years ago despite some fairly heroic efforts.


----------



## Glue

Tired


----------



## uziq

Uncomfortable. Always seems to hit the worst in the late afternoon.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So my mother got diagnosed with covid-19 today and my aunt had it last Friday. But my mom said she got mild symptoms. Just a cough. And my grandmother has it too but just a mild cough and she's in the hospital. Haven't seen my mother in like a month.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> So my mother got diagnosed with covid-19 today and my aunt had it last Friday. But my mom said she got mild symptoms. Just a cough. And my grandmother has it too but just a mild cough and she's in the hospital. Haven't seen my mother in like a month.


 I'm sorry. I hope they will be OK and make a full recovery.

Do they know how/where they got it?


----------



## PandaBearx

PurplePeopleEater said:


> So my mother got diagnosed with covid-19 today and my aunt had it last Friday. But my mom said she got mild symptoms. Just a cough. And my grandmother has it too but just a mild cough and she's in the hospital. Haven't seen my mother in like a month.


I'm sorry to hear that, hope both of them feel better soon.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> I'm sorry. I hope they will be OK and make a full recovery.
> 
> Do they know how/where they got it?


I'm sure they will. Im not worried about it too much. My mother said they had a BBQ party and got it there.

@PandaBearx Thanks.


----------



## copper

Sinuses are killing me. Stuffed up, post nasal, no cough, no trouble breathing, no temp, headache, and feel real tired. Hope I don't have COVID. But how can I get it. I haven't been around anyone outside of my parents and they are also don't get around others and they feel fine. But I get his every time it gets colder.


----------



## blue2




----------



## Canadian Brotha

Confused, restless, anxious, & depressed


----------



## Replicante

PurplePeopleEater said:


> So my mother got diagnosed with covid-19 today and my aunt had it last Friday. But my mom said she got mild symptoms. Just a cough. And my grandmother has it too but just a mild cough and she's in the hospital. Haven't seen my mother in like a month.


Wow, If my grandmother get this virus, she would most likely die. I hope they get better soon and do develop antibodies.


----------



## uziq

I feel okay. I'm tipsy though so it's mainly attributed to that. In other news, I might have a new job soon


----------



## CNikki

There's been better days. Dare I will extend that to better times with my overall mental health status. Trying *so hard not lose grip with it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Replicante said:


> Wow, If my grandmother get this virus, she would most likely die. I hope they get better soon and do develop antibodies.


Thank you. My grandmother has lived a long life though but my mother said she has pneumonia and she's on oxygen in the hospital. She's like 89 years old I think. My mother said she feels comfortable as of right now. I'd really feel sad if my mother died from it but the chances of her dying are fairly low as well. Plus, she just turned 62 yesterday, so she doesn't have a high chance of passing away thankfully.


----------



## harrison

Slightly sick because of the extra medication, but not too bad. Definitely not manic or even elevated today, thank God.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good. if a bit tired still. Need to stop staying up so late.


----------



## blue2

Crappy, bla bla bla who gives a crap >_>


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Bummed out. I went to the Goodwill job center to apply for a job but the one I tried to apply for required a resume and it would've been better to have one prepared or I'd be there all day. I think next time I should go early in the morning. Baby steps might get me there slowly but at least I'm taking them I guess. :/


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## Replicante

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Thank you. My grandmother has lived a long life though but my mother said she has pneumonia and she's on oxygen in the hospital. She's like 89 years old I think. My mother said she feels comfortable as of right now. I'd really feel sad if my mother died from it but the chances of her dying are fairly low as well. Plus, she just turned 62 yesterday, so she doesn't have a high chance of passing away thankfully.


Yeah, thankfully. They will be fine. Your grandmother is older than mine, but my grandmother is a very fragile old woman with heart and lung problems, she wouldn't resist. Well, happy birthday to your mother. You might not believe, but my mother turns 60 tomorrow, Oct 22.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Replicante said:


> Yeah, thankfully. They will be fine. Your grandmother is older than mine, but my grandmother is a very fragile old woman with heart and lung problems, she wouldn't resist. Well, happy birthday to your mother. You might not believe, but my mother turns 60 tomorrow, Oct 22.


How old is your grandmother? I called my mother a few times and she finally got in touch with me and told me it's not looking any better for my grandmother. So my mother said she's just going to let nature take its course. I can accept her passing away but would've at least liked to see her in the hospital but we can't. Thank you. Oh wow. Mine turned 62 so they're around the same age.


----------



## Replicante

PurplePeopleEater said:


> How old is your grandmother? I called my mother a few times and she finally got in touch with me and told me it's not looking any better for my grandmother. So my mother said she's just going to let nature take its course. I can accept her passing away but would've at least liked to see her in the hospital but we can't. Thank you. Oh wow. Mine turned 62 so they're around the same age.


Well, that's not good to hear. But we can always hope for a turnaround in her situation. It's not easy, but I've seen that older elderly people got healed. So, lets just wait. My grandmother is 81. And yeah, I just thought that their birthdays are very close.


----------



## Crisigv

very lonely and lost


----------



## Graeme1988

Mixed emotions really - none of them positive.

I can't help but feel - looking back on the last 3 years - that I've missed my chance to make my life better. I'm constantly having to compromise and I'm sick of doing that all the time. But then, a massive argument kicks off when I refuse to do something for my family. Apparently: _"...because I don't want to"_ isn't a good enough reason to justify my decision. Ah feel like I've got so used to the way things are that: there seems to be no point in trying to change things.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Nervous. Hope I get this job interview next Wednesday.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Got a job offer to be a general manager at a fast food place and the woman was interested after seeing my online resume. No thanks. I'll probably have a stroke or die of a heart attack before I hit 30.


----------



## Fun Spirit

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Got a job offer to be a general manager at a fast food place and the woman was interested after seeing my online resume. No thanks. I'll probably have a stroke or die of a heart attack before I hit 30.


Aw, that is sad. At least the offer went through and you got the job.
________________________

I am feeling alright.


----------



## uziq

hungover


----------



## zkv

Yesterday and today: so many ups and downs, delight and freakouts. I'm fine now. Don't want it to keep happening. Here's hoping.


----------



## CNikki

Received the flu shot today and of course I'm lucky to get side effects such as chills and headaches.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sunshine Lady said:


> Aw, that is sad. At least the offer went through and you got the job.
> ________________________
> 
> I am feeling alright.


Yea, that's true.


----------



## CNikki

Irritable.


----------



## Snollygoster

Quite happy today since we finally finished renovating our house. As of the moment, we just finished applying Rustoleum Driveway Epoxy Blacktop Coating , its really good.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Not bad.


----------



## Citrine79

Anxiety getting bad again...and frustrated with so many things on so many levels. Also, I continue to dislike my miserable city and state and wish I lived elsewhere. I wish I could visit the city I want to move to...it is my happy place but I cannot and will not be able to for a long time. Just a brief visit would improve my mood and spirit at least temporarily.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Ew, I think some old man was flirting with me in front of my dad. He asked me if I was married and I said no then he said he should marry a quiet girl like me. I had no clue what to say to this. Right in front if my dad too and he was laughing and they both said he was just joking. The man that seemed like he was flirting said no I'm just joking I'm your cousin. But if he was my cousin why. would he be like in his 50s or 60s? I dont know of any cousins I have that are this old. So confusing. It was a weird way to joke but okay. :no


----------



## zkv

Lonely. Alienated. Judged. Regretful.

[Self-censorship edit]

I'm seeing my psychologist tomorrow morning.


----------



## XebelRebel

I was getting a bit bored of eating the same cereal for breakfast and supper, again and again: a low sugar muesli with goji berries and pumpkin seeds. So I created something more exciting with my mind: Rainbow Hoops, from Asda -- which are multicoloured hoops in a very girly pink box. I simply thought about the cereals that I have enjoyed before, giving especial consideration to previous favourites such as Honey Loops, Miel Pops, and Corn Pops. Then I looked at the cereals available from Asda, choosing the Rainbow Hoops as they look like Honey Loops but prettier.

Before I ate the Rainbow Hoops, I had a bowl of vanilla ice cream with raspberry sauce -- as that is another favourite food. I looked at the cereal box after eating the Rainbow Hoops, noticing that they contain raspberry sauce! Then, this morning I had another bowl of Rainbow Hoops and suddenly recognised that they taste like Miel Pops and Corn Pops!  So I received the bowl of cereals that I wanted to receive.

What I am describing here is like accidental magic -- but I got what I wanted anyway!


----------



## zkv

Down. Today started alright enough, I even called a cousin of mine I never got to know too well and haven't talked to in a long time, but that always seemed pretty cool. But then my father did his thing. And he's right about most of it (although not everything, but there's no point contradicting him). I'm too emotionally vulnerable, and let's say he's not the most delicate guy.


----------



## CNikki

Like my brain is being compressed to the point that I might not just take it anymore. Will not end well if that's the case.


----------



## SparklingWater

Ugh just so freaking apathetic. And I guess this haze is depression. They say anger and wanting to get **** done is better than depression, but I can't muster any energy for that. This funk was sponsored by 'comparing myself to other people.' Lol. I'm pretty good abt not doing that and, frankly, didn't realize I was til I was in the midst of this depressive quicksand. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. This is fine.


----------



## lily

it's cold but I'm glad there's sunshine today


----------



## Glue

Tired and miserable


----------



## alwaysrunning

What if how you feel is not how you are supposed to feel. The past has affected you. Like Maya Angelou said, "you will forget what people said, forget what they did but you will never forget the way they made you feel". It's like I hate this specific person. They even said that to me actually. Things in the future are really going to break down.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Like an idiot.


----------



## donistired

Dejected and hopeless


----------



## harrison

Quite good - getting used to this higher dose and wondering why I'm bothering to wait and talk to this psychiatrist again. She's done nothing. May as well just use a GP.


----------



## mt moyt

Been getting angry lately, and i sort of pushed it whenever i did to help with anxiety. Now im always angry lol, need to control it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tipsy from the beer I drank earlier.


----------



## harrison

Quite settled - I think this dose might be okay for a while. A bit worried about this psychiatrist - they always want you to take something else as well. The one she's recommending has some of the worst reviews I've ever seen and I've tried it before anyway - an antipsychotic. It turns you into a zombie.

I'm going to have to get rid of this woman.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Great. Think I'll have to stay home for a week with no pay cause I have a runny nose. My voice hasnt gotten nasally yet. But then again my boss might make me come into work. I wouldn't mind staying home but at the very least I should get paid for it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Great. Think I'll have to stay home for a week with no pay cause I have a runny nose. My voice hasnt gotten nasally yet. But then again my boss might make me come into work. I wouldn't mind staying home but at the very least I should get paid for it.


Well, I put some nasal spray in my nose and it cleared it real good. Called my boss and he said I'm fine. So I have to go in to work. Would've been nice to get a full week off but there's both pros and cons to going to work and staying home. :/ Plus, I have inventory to do tomorrow. Someone was sick yesterday and didnt have to come in to work. I do seem fine today so it must've been nothing.


----------



## lily

I like the Christmas season


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel thankful. I have my old username back. Thank You so much. Thank You Thank You Thank You.         

Sent from Nelly's iphone using Tapatalk


----------



## SunshineSam218

Depression: This has been a hard year for me, especially after losing my brother to suicide....


----------



## WillYouStopDave

SunshineSam218 said:


> Depression: This has been a hard year for me, especially after losing my brother to suicide....


:squeeze


----------



## CNikki

Primarily anxious. Lately at this part of the night it would act up. It doesn't help that the elections are tomorrow and the results with the aftermath might affect areas not too far from me.


----------



## Crisigv

i'm basically a zombie at this point, void of any positive feelings/life


----------



## CNikki

Slightly afraid because of how the election results might impact by tomorrow morning. What if the extreme of rioting does happen? Will I be able to commute to work, or feel safe to?

Yes, I know that I'm thinking the worst. But with the way this year has been, can that be my defense...?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kinda feel like crap. Only got 3 hours of sleep this morning cause it felt like I was suffocating. Taking some Nyquil soon and getting me some sleep.


----------



## Sloqx

Anxious. I made a facebook account recently as part of getting more out of my shell and now I got all my coworkers sending me friend requests. I feel nervous about it but it's a good thing I feel nervous. It means I'm getting out of my comfort zone which is what I need to do to overcome this anxiety that's been ruining my life for years and years.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Kinda feel like crap. Only got 3 hours of sleep this morning cause it felt like I was suffocating. Taking some Nyquil soon and getting me some sleep.


I feel sort of better today. Got tired of my lips getting chapped from breathing out of my mouth, though. Yuck.


----------



## Glue

Tired and miserable


----------



## Fixxer

Today, honestly ...


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Ever since I've had this cold I've had trouble swallowing for some reason and it's not fun. At least I only had a stuffy nose for a day.


----------



## lily

I feel bored, hopefully I will be going out tomorrow for a walk


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sluggish, restless


----------



## Omni-slash

Chronic headaches. I need sleep, if I take sleeping pills I'll sleep for 14 hours and have no way of getting up. Truly a dilemma without resolve


----------



## alwaysrunning

Itchy with bumps appearing. Last time I watered a plant it touched the skin on my arm and now its itchy haha. One of them is not gonna make it for sure aww; maybe I should sing to it, cheer it up a bit ha


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I got sleepy way too early tonight. It's not even 9 PM. Dude, wtf? :blank
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## harrison

Glad to be home. I went into town now my city's finally starting to open back up again but the mask-wearing really gets to me for some reason. Especially today as it's quite warm. I know we have to wear them and I don't mind it's just very unpleasant. Maybe when we're allowed to go up to Sydney I'll go up there for a few weeks, this is driving me nuts.


----------



## truant

Well, I spent most of the day planning my will.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So I got an email about that Obamacare job and the interview is in Atlanta. &#55357;&#56850; I thought the job said it was in my town but it also said I'd be going out of town. Didnt think it meant in Atlanta unless that's just for the interview. It's like 2 and a half hours away. &#55357;&#56850;


----------



## Mystic290

Stressed about a new job. Overwhelmed because i need the job for money to get specialized help... but worried i cant perform the job to even get paid because i need specialized help...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## zonebox

@truant I hope everything is okay Truant.


----------



## uziq

nervous, I have a second job interview tomorrow morning


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

PurplePeopleEater said:


> So I got an email about that Obamacare job and the interview is in Atlanta. �� I thought the job said it was in my town but it also said I'd be going out of town. Didnt think it meant in Atlanta unless that's just for the interview. It's like 2 and a half hours away. ��


Nevermind. I Googled the address and it was at a completely different place. So yea. Definite scam. :serious:


----------



## SparklingWater

Hopeful. Regulated. I'm so glad I stuck in there. All worth it in the end.


----------



## zonebox

Yesterday was all gloomy, the sky was gray and the clouds were moving fast - that is something which is strange in Florida, just how fast the clouds move in the sky here. In Maine, I remember the clouds just sitting around for hours, here they usually move fairly quickly. It was kind of a depressing day though, I popped a couple of SJ wort pills, and felt better in no time though. Today I can see blue in the sky, I think I will go out for a walk in about an hour or so. I'm looking forward to getting out of the house, and getting some fresh air, it is a nice break - I just wish there were a place I could do it with a little more privacy. I typically walk along a 6 lane road, and through a variety of shopping plazas, it is okay but I feel so much better when I go to the park and am away from people while surrounded by nature. Next year, when virtual school is over with and I can go further away from the house, I will probably start going to the park more often for walking, perhaps I'll even pick up jogging outdoors - I don't feel comfortable jogging in front of a bunch of people though.


But yeah, I'm feeling good at the moment.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Glad to be home. I went into town now my city's finally starting to open back up again but the mask-wearing really gets to me for some reason. Especially today as it's quite warm. I know we have to wear them and I don't mind it's just very unpleasant. Maybe when we're allowed to go up to Sydney I'll go up there for a few weeks, this is driving me nuts.


It's good to hear that Melbourne is finally starting to open back up again, must feel good to get out and do stuff. Yeah it's not fun having to wear the masks on a hot day, over here we are going into winter so I guess it kinda keeps us warm.


----------



## truant

zonebox said:


> I hope everything is okay Truant.


Thanks. :squeeze


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> It's good to hear that Melbourne is finally starting to open back up again, must feel good to get out and do stuff. Yeah it's not fun having to wear the masks on a hot day, over here we are going into winter so I guess it kinda keeps us warm.


Hi mate - hope things are going well for you over there. Yes it's a big relief for things to be starting to open up again, we haven't had a case or death in my state for 12 days, thank God. Soon the state borders will start to open up to us again too I think.

I'm still a bit wary tbh - and I'm not too good with the masks.  But I am getting out a bit more. Good to hear from you.


----------



## Mystic290

So damn stressed and overwhelmed... i cant take this..


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## CNikki

Unmotivated. I'm sure anxiety will accompany it before I head to bed. :stu


----------



## Resergence

I feel there is a big hole in my heart and I want to fill it up.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Hi mate - hope things are going well for you over there. Yes it's a big relief for things to be starting to open up again, we haven't had a case or death in my state for 12 days, thank God. Soon the state borders will start to open up to us again too I think.
> 
> I'm still a bit wary tbh - and I'm not too good with the masks.  But I am getting out a bit more. Good to hear from you.


Thanks harrison, I'm doing alright for the most part, my injury is healed up so that's no longer giving me any issues thankfully. Yesterday I took my motorcycle out for a quick ride since the weather has been unusually warm, I haven't been out since I was injured, though with how the weather is turning I'll be storing it soon.

I bet lots of people are happy to finally be out of lockdown now that your heading into summer, It would have been quite stressful having been locked up so long, hopefully you'll get to enjoy a trip up to Sydney, or perhaps even Bali if things become more settled


----------



## firelight

Worse than Hitler.


----------



## Excaliber

Was getting a present for my nieces birthday, a bit awkward walking around with a stuffed unicorn in my hands.


----------



## Replicante

:yawn


----------



## Citrine79

Unsettled and uneasy....not feeling great about where things appear to be headed.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I hate having to call my workplace everyday on my off day just in case my worker doesnt come in. Called after 10 am this morning and the manager said she doednt know if she was there so she called her. Then my worker calls me and I thought I'd have to go in so I got dressed. Then she texts me saying I dont have to. 😒 What a minor nuisance.


----------



## Resergence

I feel sad because i got hit by another car and my car already had problems not to mention getting 581 fine to go along with that all..


----------



## Fun Spirit

Resergence said:


> I feel sad because i got hit by another car and my car already had problems not to mention getting 581 fine to go along with that all..


Wow. I hope you are not hurt.

Sent from The Secret Sevice using Obama's Tapatalk


----------



## zkv

Thrilled and scared. Long live WhatsApp.


----------



## zkv

Right now? Like absolute ****. Things click in my head and I smell the roses, then they clack and everything gets ****ed. And I don't know why. I guess I really am a crazy person.


----------



## CNikki

Like I need to let out steam that even a psychologist couldn't take to try and 'help' me.


----------



## Crisigv

My hands are done for.


----------



## Crisigv

lonely


----------



## sparklingstars

Lonely and depressed. I found out today that one of my few local friends is moving away in a couple of months.


----------



## discopotato

Hopeless


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

My stomach hurt this morning and my nerves were acting up. So not feeling the best but I guess I'm okay.


----------



## zkv

Beat, even though I slept at least 9 hours straight. I worked yesterday but jeez.

Worried about my brother. He won't talk, and when he does "I want to bathe myself in gasoline and set myself on fire" comes out. How do you help someone who doesn't want to be helped? In my case it took madness, but I don't want him to go through all that.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry. Better go eat something.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

My nerves are still acting up after a car almost hit me and I had the right of way. My tires were squealing. I was paying. attention to a car that pulled out sort of close to me but not close enough that I couldn't slow down then that's when the other car went ahead and pulled out and I couldve hit them. Thank goodness there wasnt a car behind me or they would've hit my car and messed it up.


----------



## Fixxer

Like Eminem, I'm so glad to be back!


----------



## harrison

Much better thanks - think I'll go and get a car and visit my wife.


----------



## Excaliber

That was awful, its like I forgot how to speak English, I despise phone calls.


----------



## SparklingWater

Hesitant


----------



## The Patriot

Spent the day with my sister, we talked about the family, friendships, Qnon conspiracy people, and our love lives. Opened my eyes to my life and how I'm living. Was nice just hanging out


----------



## john.myles

I honestly don't know. But I don't feel terrible, so that's good.


----------



## zkv

Sleepy. Annoyed by small, stupid things. God I hate my brain sometimes.

I'll make a second cup of disgusting coffee, wait for someone else to wake up and hope for the best.


----------



## uziq

A lot of sadness resurfaced yesterday night and it’s still with me right now. I feel like crap and want to vanish.


----------



## The Patriot

I need a little edge a little rebel in my life, I'm the never walk on the wild side bad boy. The riskiest thing I did was kiss a stripper at a strip club once, I probably got her fired cause the next thing I knew she didn't come back. She felt some attraction to me and kissed me back but somebody must have seen us on the camera's, it was stupid. I was talking to my sister about this bad boy friend of mine, guy gets women like half his age and she pretty much observed that he has swag and there's just something about him, while pointing out very plainly that I was the do gooder nice guy, her lovable but nice and sweet little brother. I feel like my sister thinks I'm a loser. I don't know how to talk bad boy or come off as anything but me, I'm genuinely the nice guy and I'm starting to hate it because I m not exciting, there's no edge to me.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

:roll


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> That was awful, its like I forgot how to speak English, I despise phone calls.


I sometimes get very nervous on the phone too - it used to be much worse when I was younger but it can still be pretty bad. Hope you're doing okay there mate.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> I sometimes get very nervous on the phone too - it used to be much worse when I was younger but it can still be pretty bad. Hope you're doing okay there mate.


I don't know why I get so nervous on the phone, it just happens. There's a lot on my mind, but health wise I'm doing okay, thanks for asking. How have those headaches of yours been? I hope you are doing well, and that you get lots of time to enjoy the outdoors now


----------



## Crisigv

crappy, as per avatar


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> I don't know why I get so nervous on the phone, it just happens. There's a lot on my mind, but health wise I'm doing okay, thanks for asking. How have those headaches of yours been? I hope you are doing well, and that you get lots of time to enjoy the outdoors now


I haven't actually had a migraine for quite a while thanks - I think it's because of my bipolar medication. I'm taking a fairly normal dose again and it seems to help with them as well.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Fat, sore, sluggish


----------



## TheyWillJudgeMe

i feel like a lot of people don't appreciate me. i wish i could find someone who does. and i never feel... good enough. i wish people would put the effort that i put into them, into me.


----------



## harrison

Sort of even. This medication seems to be holding me fairly steady - thank God. I hate all that volatility, it's exhausting.


----------



## discopotato

like a grotesquely ugly freak


----------



## blue2




----------



## Fun Spirit

I hope everyone will feel better. Be strong and take care of Oneself. 

Sent from The Secret Sevice using Obama's Tapatalk


----------



## either/or

Like I need a brainiotomy.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Why is it everytime I sit on the couch it makes me really sleepy? Like what is it about this couch for reals? 😒


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless & itchy


----------



## uziq

Rather honestly be dead


----------



## Citrine79

Utterly miserable. And hopeless.


----------



## Duplo

After getting things organised, I feel good now.


----------



## CNikki

Maybe one of these days if I actually do get my -crap- together then I'll be okay.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm dreading Wednesday this week at work.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

****ing a man. 😒 I asked the people here if they. saw the lightbill money on the table and I worded it all confused cause they said no they havent. seen it. I was confused cause I know I put it on the table but they told me they thought I meant the money I'm supposed to give them, not the lightbill that comes in the envelope. I dont know why I said money instead of just the lightbill. So I had the woman seeming like she was slightly worried for nothing. Now it's going to bother me for like 2 or 3 hours until I get over it.


----------



## aqwsderf

Today's my parent's anniversary (36 years) and they're still not talking to eachother. They're both depressed.

Life sucks


----------



## riverbird

Pretty blah. I feel like I’m a burden on everyone in my family because of my mental health.


----------



## zonebox

Full of life and pretty good at the moment.


----------



## lily

I haven't been on here for a long enough time! I NEED a nice social support environment right now.


----------



## CNikki

Degraded. I'm used to it, but the way it's been going lately is really starting to irritate me, to say the least.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted & restless


----------



## Excaliber

Every day is driving me a bit more crazy, its gonna be a long winter.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I am feeling good, which should improve later tonight.


----------



## blue2

Trying to get my depression levels up, I seem to function better on high depression than high anxiety, it makes me just not care bout anything, need to watch & think lots of sad stuff.


----------



## zonebox

Holy **** diddler, I'm feeling good at the moment. I have World of Warcraft playing in the background, a cold beer by my mouse, and some decent music playing. There is a vaccine on the horizon, we ousted the reality TV conspiracy nutter from office, and things are looking good for now. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I'm feeling pretty good right now.


----------



## CNikki

Little bit buzzed.


----------



## john.myles

Feeling okay at present. Better than yesterday which was pretty bleak.


----------



## caelle

Not sure if Im sick or I am stuffy from leaving my window open last night cause I wanted to hear the wind.
I felt fine yesterday and I have horrible allergies so hoping it's just that cause the thought of having covid really scares me


----------



## Crisigv

Worried. A coworker's dad tested positive and now she needs to be tested. I've worked with her the past few days. If she's positive, I need to get tested and our store will have to close.


----------



## CNikki

Restless.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless, sore, awkward


----------



## Excaliber

One of those nights I woke up with a sharp cramp in my leg again, I hate that - a coffee soothed over my annoyance this morning.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good. Having a quick break at work.


----------



## either/or

Just...so _bad._


----------



## either/or

Crisigv said:


> Worried. A coworker's dad tested positive and now she needs to be tested. I've worked with her the past few days. If she's positive, I need to get tested and our store will have to close.


Hope neither one of you tests positive!


----------



## blue2

:lol :cry


----------



## Crisigv

either/or said:


> Hope neither one of you tests positive!


Thanks! It's all a waiting game for now. I can't see myself enjoying it much if I'm positive, considering past illnesses.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless/annoyed


----------



## zkv

Abulic. And putting things in perspective, like an ungrateful son of a *****.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Not bad, a bit stuffed up but my favorite weirdo from here is awake which helps


----------



## SparklingWater

Ugh, just so... Blah. Still have a few years to go, but I'm terrified I'll wake up at 40, life still the same, struggling with the same ****. I can't deal with this for another 7 years, much less the rest of my life. I know I'm not in the best mood so I'm more susceptible to ****ty thinking, but I can't be bothered to pull myself out of the funk rn.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Caught one of my coworkers talking to himself at work. Looked like his head was bobbing and his mouth was moving but I didn't hear any words. lol He finally saw me looking then was like oh hey and kind of laughed like he was embarrassed. I could not stop laughing on the way home. Partially cause this sounds like something Inwould do. But partially cause he was in an awkward situation with me noticing. 😂


----------



## lily

I can't wait to relax and enjoy the Christmas season which is truly in December


----------



## harrison

I think I need to calm down.


----------



## Excaliber

Groggy and I can't concentrate on doing math first thing in the morning.


----------



## The Patriot

Deeply saddened and shaken that there are people in my city who die alone with no one noticing them, no family. It makes me feel guilty and bad for complaining the way I do about my problems. My problems are still real and matter but when I see this or hear about people in my neighborhood having to go to food banks I feel bad for not focusing on them and what I can do to help.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Not good, kind of sad. This place has been getting more and more disappointing everytime I log in. I feel ignored.


----------



## name88

I feel tired and anxious. I would like to wake up on a summer morning in 2010 and try to change something in my life.


----------



## Excaliber

I'm feeling okay, now that I got my tea.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sore, lazy, restless, lonely


----------



## harrison

I think I've been a bit elevated today - had a busy day and saw my GP. She was very keen on freezing a couple of things off my arm and hand - I think just being out and about and talking to people again gets me a bit worked up. Might have to talk to my psych and raise the meds a bit although I don't really want to.


----------



## copper

Been suffering from a head cold. I started to think I maybe coming down with COVID. But haven't ran a fever and I am not getting worse. I am a little better now. I least I can sleep without stuffing some decongestant. Getting my humidifier up and running has helped a lot. It is so dry in my house. I always get this stuff when it gets cold.


----------



## caelle

I had a dream that I was cute and rich and had a hot bf. Now I'm awake and sad. But good news I still have electricity this morning and I'm thinking my new shoes *might* work out. They didn't hurt my feet yesterday wearing them around the house so I'll wear them to work today and see how it goes.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Having to do more guessing games again. So I'm confused a lot now. Never know what to do. SMH. 😒


----------



## CNikki

Numb. Like I'm simply done, but not in the depressed or 'worse' way.


----------



## harrison

Calm, relaxed, the agitation and distress from last night has gone. Due to the meds. I really need to keep taking this stuff and stop mucking around. It just makes me tired and in the past I think dizzy - plus you get complacent, so you think you can stop it.


----------



## Replicante

R.I.P. Diego Maradona


----------



## Canadian Brotha

A little chilly & restless


----------



## Excaliber

Anxious, I have to call to make an appointment but I don't want too :lol


----------



## Crisigv

I'm worried. This time of year isn't usually good for me. Not even christmas related. I hope it's not a repeat.


----------



## zonebox

Beer, games, and music - this is the life.








​I'm currently adventuring in the wastelands of Maldraxxus - a wasteland filled with the undead. My hunter and her trusty pets, are laying waste to every foe that comes fourth to challenge us.

It really doesn't take much to keep me entertained. Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty good right now.


----------



## either/or

Depressed af. Need alcohol.


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

Terrible. Caught myself a doozy of a cold. I have to be drugged to the gills to get any break from the sneezing. (Google says sneezing isn't generally seen with covid, so I'm not worried about that.No cough. No shortness of breath. And I can still taste and smell.) At any rate, I'm keeping my happy *** home for the next little while because I don't want to spread this either.


----------



## CNikki

Intrigued.


----------



## bjw0111

Bad.


----------



## Excaliber

CoolLilChickadee said:


> Terrible. Caught myself a doozy of a cold. I have to be drugged to the gills to get any break from the sneezing. (Google says sneezing isn't generally seen with covid, so I'm not worried about that.No cough. No shortness of breath. And I can still taste and smell.) At any rate, I'm keeping my happy *** home for the next little while because I don't want to spread this either.


Sorry to hear that, I hope you feel better soon


----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

Terrible. Never wanna leave my house or interact with anyone EVER. my luck has been the worst recently to the point where it's just comedic now. Everything that could go wrong is going wrong.


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

Excaliber said:


> Sorry to hear that, I hope you feel better soon


Thank you. I feel significantly better today. My immune system is making quick work of it.


----------



## blue2

I feel like I'm Pearl Harbour & the japs just attacked.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Chilled even though it’s not that cold...if I’m getting sick at least I’ve got three days off after tonight


----------



## Excaliber

Cleaned off my desk a bit but the dust is making me allergic.


----------



## SparklingWater

Happy, productive.


----------



## megatheriidae

We're putting my dog down in a few hours. I think I might throw up.


----------



## Excaliber

No more hot showers, it's making me feel light headed.


----------



## Replicante

Stupid. And that's the truth. I'm a stupid man who sometims behaves like a boy. I'm hating myself. :bash


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, having some pumpkin soup for a late second dinner.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling very low


----------



## WillYouStopDave

megatheriidae said:


> We're putting my dog down in a few hours. I think I might throw up.


:squeeze


----------



## truant

Had a wicked migraine yesterday. Felt like I had a giant stomping on my head. Had to curl up with a bucket for like 12 hours. Feel a little better now, but I can feel it lurking around waiting to make a comeback.



megatheriidae said:


> We're putting my dog down in a few hours. I think I might throw up.


Sorry to hear that.  :squeeze


----------



## Memories of Silence

megatheriidae said:


> We're putting my dog down in a few hours. I think I might throw up.


I'm sure your dog had a very nice life with you. They won't be in any pain anymore. :squeeze


----------



## megatheriidae

Thanks @WillYouStopDave @truant @Silent Memory. :squeeze I didn't throw up, only tears, thankfully. I think yesterday when we did it was the easy part, actually. He was ready... But now it's just life without him, and the slow realization that he's never coming back.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good.


megatheriidae said:


> We're putting my dog down in a few hours. I think I might throw up.


Sorry to hear that! :squeeze


----------



## SilentRider

Bad, decided to go on Facebook to check what happened to old classmates and they all have more stereotypical ideal lives with romantic relationships, jobs, more money than me which means more travelling around the world, groups of friends and are always smiling and then i remember that they barely invited me to things and i did use to talk to them...and the times they would invite me and then completely ignore me...or the times i got sick when they did invite me.

Ugh...whatever, i just keep forgetting that looking at Social Media depresses me, even when i try to change my life and it seemingly improves, someone else's life just improves a lot more.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Replicante said:


> Stupid. And that's the truth. I'm a stupid man who sometims behaves like a boy. I'm hating myself. :bash


Are you okay?


----------



## Excaliber

I was feeling a bit off this morning but I'm okay now


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

megatheriidae said:


> We're putting my dog down in a few hours. I think I might throw up.


Sorry to hear that. :squeeze


----------



## either/or

Why do I always feel like I'm dying after work. It's like a giant leech is sucking the life right out of me. I have absolutely no energy at all. I can't even think straight. Does anyone else experience this? I'm soo out of it.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## CNikki

Sorry to hear about your dog, @megatheriidae. It's never an easy decision to make, but it is ethical. :hug


----------



## john.myles

I'm feeling okay. Settled within myself. In terms of my mental health, I think I'm _growing_ to accept certain things about life and in so doing, giving up a particular inner fight. Which is good.


----------



## Replicante

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Are you okay?


Yeah, I'm ok now, thanks. It's that I made an expensive mistake. But, everything is solved now. :smile2:


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed & confused


----------



## Excaliber

I'm okay, doctors appointment went better than I thought it would, but I do have to come back later.


----------



## alwaysrunning

Not feeling that well at the moment. There is no one who I can tell how I am really feeling. Earlier I looked up to see how much it would be to see a psychiatrist. I just really want a re-evaluation. But I don't think they can diagnose you after just one session. One session was £345 alone.

I went to a mental health support group a fortnight ago; the first time to this particular group. Usually when I have been to support groups you get a set time to talk. I found this one really difficult to find a space to talk.


----------



## movingbee

either/or said:


> Why do I always feel like I'm dying after work. It's like a giant leech is sucking the life right out of me. I have absolutely no energy at all. I can't even think straight. Does anyone else experience this? I'm soo out of it.


You are exhausted. And you badly need a breather. When you force yourself to work, it will just make you more sick working. Everything is affected, mental, physical, emotional, social... So you need to unwind. Relax and chill a bit.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Replicante said:


> Yeah, I'm ok now, thanks. It's that I made an expensive mistake. But, everything is solved now. :smile2:


That's good it's fixed now. :high5


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

Fine, I guess. A bit nervous because I have a Dr. appointment coming up next week. Irritated because my credit card info got nicked (for the third time in about five years) and someone in FL managed to charge a hundred bucks before I put a stop on the card. Grateful that I check my account daily and caught it early.


----------



## Replicante

PurplePeopleEater said:


> That's good it's fixed now. :high5


:yes


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exercise high


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

Accomplished. Done shopping, done wrapping. Now I can relax. As much as somebody with an anxiety disorder can, anyway.


----------



## Excaliber

Not great but I will be fine once the day gets going.


----------



## Fixxer

A little bit ADHD today but I look to stay grounded.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

loool My mother texted me asking how my worker gets away with that ****. I didn't expect her to say ****. I was trying to explain to her that I may or may not get to see her tomorrow then she uses a cuss word. That was unexpected but funny. 🤣


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired/frail


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I feel like that Tresemme shampoo did wonders to my hair. It feels softer and looks smooth. Haven't been using that brand until the last week or so.


----------



## Crisigv

very lonely


----------



## Crisigv

My lower back is a write off.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A little anxious for some reason.


----------



## usurname46873

Well...i am in that groupchat with some people I don't even know and i think I'm anoying to them...hell I'm anoying to myself how i wouldnt be to them...anyways at last time i fell very insecure about myself way my weigh,my teeth, my voice,the way i look...I even have ****ing lisp....I just wanna be pretty like other girls and be happy...

Poslano sa mog SM-G935F koristeći Tapatalk


----------



## Excaliber

I'm tired and feeling pretty sore.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Tired but have to wait on my laundry first before I go to bed. 😴


----------



## coeur_brise

Hungry and triumphant. I think my meds are spiking my hunger, either that or I have become uh.. some medical issue that makes you crave food. Also triumphant in getting the perfect Xmas gift. I'm so excited. It only cost time and creativity. *squee


----------



## Omni-slash

A world with no diversity, where the sun makes a screeching sound.


----------



## blue2

I need to be shot with a tranquilliser gun from a helicopter & moved away from civilisation.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

One of my coworkers introduced me to this girl that's from the town I used to live in all my life and she actually seems really nice. But I saw her waving and smiling yesterday and I felt sort of exposed where I was standing so I didnt wave back. Then later on in the day, I see her again and say hey to her and she smiled so I guess it ended up being not so bad. I would like to talk to her more cause I've never had a girl be this nice to me ever all these years and I'm 27. So it's weird but cool.


----------



## blue2

Mmm I could help someone by making them not be alone.


----------



## Replicante

PurplePeopleEater said:


> One of my coworkers introduced me to this girl that's from the town I used to live in all my life and she actually seems really nice. But I saw her waving and smiling yesterday and I felt sort of exposed where I was standing so I didnt wave back. Then later on in the day, I see her again and say hey to her and she smiled so I guess it ended up being not so bad. I would like to talk to her more cause I've never had a girl be this nice to me ever all these years and I'm 27. So it's weird but cool.


Hey, that's nice


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Angry


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired from my work shift today.


----------



## Crisigv

Annoyed. My region is being surrounded by lockdowns, but nothing for us yet.


----------



## blue2

I just had a ribeye steak & a gallon of brandy, could be worse :cig


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Replicante said:


> Hey, that's nice


Yea, it was. :yes


----------



## zonebox

I am feeling good, things are going along pretty well in my life. I mean, as I often say on this site, it is not like I am doing amazing but for what expectations I have had in life, things are good. Also, I'm getting feeling back in my thighs which is nice, after my surgery they were numb, and a few weeks in my fingers went numb as well, that was pretty scary. Septic shock does quite a number on your body, it really screws things up not to mention the toll it takes on your emotional health. Basically, your own immune system starts to attack your body, and mind, it is pretty sick. But the 16th of December had been half a year for me, and I have noticed significant improvement. A bit TMI I think, but yeah, my body is working again and that is good. 



Blah blah blah, yeah I'm feeling pretty good. July and August were tough, and I feel appreciative that I moved past that.


----------



## Replicante

Dehydrated


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Full from dinner.


----------



## PandaBearx

[STAFF EDIT _ TRIGGER WARNING]


* *




Like it's taking every ounce of willpower not to end my existence. I've been feeling that way for a while...it's part of the reason I reached out to a therapist last month. Which didn't end up working out haha I basically was rejected. So I put that on hold thinking 'it'll pass' because it always does. It's just taking so long and I'm very tired of the fake it until I make it motto. I'm so exhausted of pretending I'm happy, of pretending I'm okay. Of pretending like I'm so content. When I'm not okay. I'm so not okay. What hurts is feeling like I can't talk about it...of feeling like I have to keep it all in because if I don't? It'll hurt them. How do I tell my mom I don't want to exist when I already put her through so much. How do I look at my little sister when she asks what's wrong and the reason I'm so upset and say "The reason I'm so sad is because I'm in so much emotional pain I want to die" and it's not like it's understood. How can any rational person understand that...-I know I'm selfish- that holing myself up like this causes concern and whispers, but I can't act right now. I don't want to be here right now. I don't wanna be sick. I don't want to feel anything. I don't want to be a burden anymore. I don't want to feel like this.


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

Pretty nervous. I have to go to the hospital tomorrow to get some tests run and and medical stuff is one of my biggest anxiety triggers. My deep breathing exercises will be out in force. But it will feel so good to have it over with.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I tried talking to my coworker but not sure if she was really interested in talking to me so I just abruptly ended the convo and walked away. :rain

Maybe I'm just being negative right now but she didnt seem interested in talking. When I. first said something to her she kind of scrunched her eyebrows at me but I guess it's cause she didnt hear me at first. I took out my phone cause it was awkward and holding on to something made it less awkward and she just looked around like wtf am I doing? lol Idk. I'm not used to girls being nice to me.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry. Time for lunch.



PandaBearx said:


> [STAFF EDIT _ TRIGGER WARNING]
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Like it's taking every ounce of willpower not to end my existence. I've been feeling that way for a while...it's part of the reason I reached out to a therapist last month. Which didn't end up working out haha I basically was rejected. So I put that on hold thinking 'it'll pass' because it always does. It's just taking so long and I'm very tired of the fake it until I make it motto. I'm so exhausted of pretending I'm happy, of pretending I'm okay. Of pretending like I'm so content. When I'm not okay. I'm so not okay. What hurts is feeling like I can't talk about it...of feeling like I have to keep it all in because if I don't? It'll hurt them. How do I tell my mom I don't want to exist when I already put her through so much. How do I look at my little sister when she asks what's wrong and the reason I'm so upset and say "The reason I'm so sad is because I'm in so much emotional pain I want to die" and it's not like it's understood. How can any rational person understand that...-I know I'm selfish- that holing myself up like this causes concern and whispers, but I can't act right now. I don't want to be here right now. I don't wanna be sick. I don't want to feel anything. I don't want to be a burden anymore. I don't want to feel like this.


"hugs"


----------



## Paul

@CoolLilChickadee Good luck, hope it's nothing serious. Can't think of anything scarier than a hospital appointment.


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

Paul said:


> @*CoolLilChickadee* Good luck, hope it's nothing serious. Can't think of anything scarier than a hospital appointment.


Thanks Paul. I'm all done now and it wasn't nearly as bad as I had built it up in my head to be. Now I wait for the doctor to contact me about the results.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

CoolLilChickadee said:


> Thanks Paul. I'm all done now and it wasn't nearly as bad as I had built it up in my head to be. Now I wait for the doctor to contact me about the results.


 Chiming in with my "hope everything will be OK for you". I hate medical stuff. Even when it isn't as bad as I thought it would be, I still hate it and dread it for months when I know it's coming. You'd think in 2020 medical stuff would be a lot more streamlined and easy on the patient but...not really. I can remember visiting my grandfather in the hospital in the 80s and almost everything seems pretty much the same as far as how the patient interfaces with the hospital.


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

WillYouStopDave said:


> Chiming in with my "hope everything will be OK for you". I hate medical stuff. Even when it isn't as bad as I thought it would be, I still hate it and dread it for months when I know it's coming. You'd think in 2020 medical stuff would be a lot more streamlined and easy on the patient but...not really. I can remember visiting my grandfather in the hospital in the 80s and almost everything seems pretty much the same as far as how the patient interfaces with the hospital.


Thank you. The waiting/anticipation is really terrible, isn't it? I had to wait six weeks to get into my GP, but after she ordered the tests I called the hospital on Friday and they got me in today, so it was a relief that I only had to sit in fear for a couple days rather than weeks. It definitely needs to be streamlined. A few years ago I had a serious ankle injury and my GP, my Podiatrist, the place I went for an MRI, the place where I got my boot and my knee scooter, and the place I went for surgery were all different. It's easy to get overwhelmed.


----------



## either/or

CoolLilChickadee said:


> Pretty nervous. I have to go to the hospital tomorrow to get some tests run and and medical stuff is one of my biggest anxiety triggers. My deep breathing exercises will be out in force. But it will feel so good to have it over with.


I hope everything goes well. I know what you're going though, I've had a ton of tests over the past couple of months myself and am having another one this week. It sucks. Try to hang in there and good luck.


----------



## either/or

PandaBearx said:


> [STAFF EDIT _ TRIGGER WARNING]
> 
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Like it's taking every ounce of willpower not to end my existence. I've been feeling that way for a while...it's part of the reason I reached out to a therapist last month. Which didn't end up working out haha I basically was rejected. So I put that on hold thinking 'it'll pass' because it always does. It's just taking so long and I'm very tired of the fake it until I make it motto. I'm so exhausted of pretending I'm happy, of pretending I'm okay. Of pretending like I'm so content. When I'm not okay. I'm so not okay. What hurts is feeling like I can't talk about it...of feeling like I have to keep it all in because if I don't? It'll hurt them. How do I tell my mom I don't want to exist when I already put her through so much. How do I look at my little sister when she asks what's wrong and the reason I'm so upset and say "The reason I'm so sad is because I'm in so much emotional pain I want to die" and it's not like it's understood. How can any rational person understand that...-I know I'm selfish- that holing myself up like this causes concern and whispers, but I can't act right now. I don't want to be here right now. I don't wanna be sick. I don't want to feel anything. I don't want to be a burden anymore. I don't want to feel like this.


I know what this is like. I went through a major depression and deep emotional pain myself a few years ago. I was totally crippled by the anguish. Nothing seemed to help, it was like this Jenny Lewis line "the lows are so extreme that the good seems ****ing cheap." Nothing could compare to the intensity of the darkness. I just didn't want to do life anymore. But today I'm doing much better and I hardly ever get depressed. So there is light at the end of the tunnel. Things can and will get better. I can't tell you how that will happen or what to do - you have to come to that on your own terms. Everybody does. But things do change, you just need to take it one day at a time and you'll get there.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Not bad, working on some pixel art for a video game project I am working on and chatting with someone from here.


----------



## PandaBearx

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Hungry. Time for lunch.
> 
> "hugs"


Thank you for the support (hug) I appreciate it.



either/or said:


> I know what this is like. I went through a major depression and deep emotional pain myself a few years ago. I was totally crippled by the anguish. Nothing seemed to help, it was like this Jenny Lewis line "the lows are so extreme that the good seems ****ing cheap." Nothing could compare to the intensity of the darkness. I just didn't want to do life anymore. But today I'm doing much better and I hardly ever get depressed. So there is light at the end of the tunnel. Things can and will get better. I can't tell you how that will happen or what to do - you have to come to that on your own terms. Everybody does. But things do change, you just need to take it one day at a time and you'll get there.


Thank you for this, it helps me talking about it a little. That quote really resonated with me as well because it's how it feels at the moment and I'm hoping there's a light at the tunnel for me. I have reoccurring depression so it kind of feels like a never ending loop at times. I'm so torn for asking for professional help as well. Because so many people seem to have a hit or miss experience? I improved drastically on my own since I attended therapy or was on antidepressant. It's been seven years since I've received help. So the idea of going back to that almost feels like burning money. But even though I've improved over the years I never can seem to kick it 100% (I'm not sure if I ever will? I don't really know how that works if it'll just disappear one day or I just have to learn the best way to maintain a balance) in regards to those thoughts though it is extremely difficult to stay grounded at times and that honestly terrifies me. I kind of think I have bipolar depression just due to the length and on-off nature of it all. It's beyond exhausting, along with other symptoms I experience. I do genuinely want to get better and I dislike that I have thoughts like that. I try really hard to get myself out of those irrational foggy clouds of judgment, but sometimes I can't see clearly and I can be impulsive. Which makes me anxious. I think I'm going to try to call a psychiatrist latter on today, see how that goes.

I'm glad you managed to find your way out of the thickets and are doing well btw. :high5 That gives me some hope.


----------



## CNikki

Like I just want to run out of the house with minimal clothing and scream while flailing my arms so that I can at least have some thrill going on with my life.


...okay, maybe not the minimal clothing bit. But just to do something crazy so that I don't feel like a zombie due to my daily routines.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Like almost everything I have ever found any meaning in has just been a result of my desperation to find meaning in something to distract myself from the bleakness of my existence.


----------



## either/or

PandaBearx said:


> Thank you for this, it helps me talking about it a little. That quote really resonated with me as well because it's how it feels at the moment and I'm hoping there's a light at the tunnel for me. I have reoccurring depression so it kind of feels like a never ending loop at times. I'm so torn for asking for professional help as well. Because so many people seem to have a hit or miss experience? I improved drastically on my own since I attended therapy or was on antidepressant. It's been seven years since I've received help. So the idea of going back to that almost feels like burning money. But even though I've improved over the years I never can seem to kick it 100% (I'm not sure if I ever will? I don't really know how that works if it'll just disappear one day or I just have to learn the best way to maintain a balance) in regards to those thoughts though it is extremely difficult to stay grounded at times and that honestly terrifies me. I kind of think I have bipolar depression just due to the length and on-off nature of it all. It's beyond exhausting, along with other symptoms I experience. I do genuinely want to get better and I dislike that I have thoughts like that. I try really hard to get myself out of those irrational foggy clouds of judgment, but sometimes I can't see clearly and I can be impulsive. Which makes me anxious. I think I'm going to try to call a psychiatrist latter on today, see how that goes.
> 
> I'm glad you managed to find your way out of the thickets and are doing well btw. :high5 That gives me some hope.


I think the right psych or counselor can be helpful but it can be tough to find one that is a good fit for you and your problems. No one can fix you but you, however a good psych can help give you the tools and structure you need to navigate that path. It can be frustrating trying to find the right one tho.

It sucks that meds didn't work for you. I'm not on anything now but I did find SSRIs helpful in the past. Not sure if you've ever seen the movie Prozac Nation (or read the book) but there is this scene (can't remember if its in the book or movie or both) where Elizabeth Wurtzel wakes up one day after having been on Prozac for a few weeks and she "just feels happy." That is what happened to me when I took Celexa, I was deeply depressed for over a year and after a few weeks of taking it I woke up one morning and actually felt happiness for the first time in just so many months. It was like I had forgot what happiness even felt like. I gradually tapered off Celexa and still basically feel OK though I still can have really dark days sometimes. They're usually few and far between though.

I've been through like 3 major bouts of depression in my life so I know it's something that can creep up on you and can be really hard to find your way out of. The path out has been different for me each time. It's usually a slow and gradual process with plenty of setbacks - except for the time when I took the Celexa, it was so gradual that I didn't even really realize I was through it until I took a look back and it hit me that I wasn't stuck in that rut anymore.

As you touched on though it's so important to remember that depression, like other mood disorders, can warp the way you see things, your sense of self and how you interpret events. That's why its so important that no matter how depressed you get you don't make any kind of impulsive life decisions while depressed. You should always always set those thoughts aside and discuss them with yourself when you're thinking more clearly. Which I know can be really hard to do when you're in that moment of complete despondency. But just look at it like you owe your future self that opportunity. Which may sound kind of dumb but that is how I always thought of it, like I need to be fair and true to the me I will become (as well as everyone else I know of course).

The constant grind of a prolonged depression is just soul wrenching, I know what you're going thorough - but just keep the faith that things can and will improve. :yes

Edit: Also, sorry this response was so long lol. I didn't intend for it to be that long. Please don't feel like you need to reply back or anything, just trying to help as much as I can as I've been through this too.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good.


----------



## Sekiro

lonely but wat ya gon do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


go right back to playing vidya games that's what


----------



## blue2

opcorn


----------



## truant

Migraine. From holiday "visiting the family" stress. Not even COVID is enough to get me out of Christmas with the Crazies.


----------



## valina

Crappy, exhausted


----------



## harrison

Still tired from Christmas yesterday, but happy and reasonably settled. It was wonderful to see my family yesterday - and my wife is happy the day went well. That's extremely important to me - everyone seemed to have a good time, so that's good.


----------



## either/or

Myosr said:


> Do I just eat it? seems impolite to just bite someone's head off :roll


I think you can go ahead and eat him seeing as she did the dirty work and asphyxiated him in that bag for you.


----------



## zonebox

I just cracked open my first beer of the night, I love the sound of a can opening, feeling the mist of beer hit my fingers and the amazing fragrance (at least to me) My first sip was delightful and I imagine the next 90 or so will be just as good. Now I'm going to find a game to play, and listen to some music.. I typically write out some of my best responses while intoxicated, I think because I have the rare moment of passion and dedication - it is fun to go through my posts and read my drunk posts, they usually are pretty good. I think I'll stay away from forums tonight though, and just invest my drunk energy to games.


But yeah, feeling pretty good. Glad to see this holiday is now almost over, no more stressing out about it and I might be able to start saving money now for a new laptop. G'night all.


----------



## Citrine79

Miserable and hopeless plus a growing amount of envy....many things I am envious of right now, big and small.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Still tired from Christmas yesterday, but happy and reasonably settled. It was wonderful to see my family yesterday - and my wife is happy the day went well. That's extremely important to me - everyone seemed to have a good time, so that's good.


Merry Christmas, glad that you had a good time and that you could spend time with family.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Merry Christmas, glad that you had a good time and that you could spend time with family.


Hi mate - thanks a lot, very kind of you.

Hope you and your family had a happy and safe Christmas too - and hopefully 2021 will be a bit easier on us all.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like garbage


----------



## harrison

Bit manic - was talking to anyone I came across in the city and basically just wanted to eat them alive.


----------



## zonebox

I feel like every time I speak, I am just pouring acid in the eyes of others. So I guess, guilty, because of reasons. To be honest, I feel okay, I am doing well, life is pretty good.. but I always have that sense of guilt on me for some reason, like I should be feeling ****ty or at the very least keeping my mouth shut.


I just feel really privileged, I am really lucky in so many ways - and I am appreciative for that. As to what I should feel appreciative toward, I am not quite sure. I guess I appreciate the things that make me happy, so there is that.


----------



## blue2

Like I want to take off my hat, as a sign of respect for the dearly departed.


----------



## either/or

Crappy because Sunday evenings suck. They might be worse than Monday mornings because you keep thinking about Monday morning on Sunday and thinking about something is usually worse than the actual thing.


----------



## blue2

^^ So this is a sunday ?


----------



## harrison

The day after mania - horrible. Fear, loneliness and confusion. God I hate this.


----------



## zonebox

@harrison

:hug

I hope you feel better soon


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, had a chat with mum.



harrison said:


> The day after mania - horrible. Fear, loneliness and confusion. God I hate this.


I hope that you feel better soon.


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> @harrison
> 
> :hug
> 
> I hope you feel better soon





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I hope that you feel better soon.


You guys are lovely - thanks a lot, it means a lot to me.

Feeling a bit better today, just have to hold on and deal with the headache from this medication. I hate this bloody stuff too - it's like living on a rollercoaster.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good. Full from dinner.


----------



## Crisigv

really bad


----------



## either/or

Terrible because so many unexpected things happened today. The unknown gives me anxiety. When things happen that I didn't plan for or anticipate I get thrown all out of whack. I don't roll with the punches well. I like routine and hate surprises.


----------



## Crisigv

useless, worthless and very hurt


----------



## harrison

Like I've been run over by a truck. I really don't like this medication - how the hell is anyone supposed to function on this crap. At least I didn't smash my tablet.


----------



## harrison

lily said:


> Are you able to try another medication? I switched from one medication to another and afterwards things started happening to me which unfortunately I'm still trying to recover from so I went back on the previous one. I wish you the best


Hi Lily - hope you're doing okay over there and you have a nice New Year.

I might be able to - but I've been on a few now. My psychiatrist said I seem to be very sensitive to medication, so I'm not sure. I really hate the way they make me feel. Today I don't feel like I can even walk up the road for some shopping. It's annoying.


----------



## Ahewsonator

Hopeful..and that I cannot sleep.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> The day after mania - horrible. Fear, loneliness and confusion. God I hate this.


Sorry to hear that your having a rough time 

I hope that you feel better over the next couple days!


----------



## strayshadow

I'm not coping well at all with having spent NYE alone. I feel so alone and I need to talk to someone.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

By the end of this month I will be 32. I can't quite believe it.


----------



## Barakiel

Disposable.


----------



## SilentLyric

like I want an adventure.


----------



## Crisigv

Woke up with a headache. I wonder if my altered sleep schedule is to blame.


----------



## Replicante

I woke up with a headache too. But, I'm feeling better.


----------



## CNikki

Left in the dark. What else is new.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Sorry to hear that your having a rough time
> 
> I hope that you feel better over the next couple days!


Thanks a lot mate - not too bad now.


----------



## Sekiro

I have everything I ever wanted when I was younger, but I feel empty.


----------



## zonebox

Purdy gewd, the weather outside is nice and I took a walk a short time ago, now I'm home and playing some vidia games. My fan is blasting me with some refreshing air, and I think I might have some rum tonight while watching some Doom Patrol. It really is nice here right now, it is quiet my dog is hanging out, it is all pretty cool.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Alien


----------



## Blue Dino

Emotional Anger and Emotional Exhaustion trying to one up each other in my head.


----------



## CNikki

So far, so good. Can't complain.


----------



## Crisigv

lonely and sad


----------



## alwaysrunning

Crisigv said:


> lonely and sad


I hope this soon passes for you! :smile2:


----------



## alwaysrunning

I didn't sleep last night so after work today I just went back to bed. The last few days was getting into a good routine of straightaway tidying up when I got back to work. Feeling better after a sleep; not sure how my sleep tonight will be. Gonna try a new recipe to cook tomorrow


----------



## Excaliber

It's my birthday, kinda sucks that I can't go out and do anything because of the lockdown - I don't like the reminder that I'm getting older either lol.


----------



## andy1984

like time is going backwards


----------



## andy1984

Excaliber said:


> It's my birthday, kinda sucks that I can't go out and do anything because of the lockdown - I don't like the reminder that I'm getting older either lol.


happy birthday! :yay


----------



## Omni-slash

The world is spiraling into chaos. Or maybe it was always there.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> It's my birthday, kinda sucks that I can't go out and do anything because of the lockdown - I don't like the reminder that I'm getting older either lol.


Happy Birthday mate!! Hope you have a great day.

Looks like it's time for my favourite Happy Birthday graphic again.


----------



## Excaliber

andy1984 said:


> happy birthday! :yay


Thanks I appreciate it 



harrison said:


> Happy Birthday mate!! Hope you have a great day.
> 
> Looks like it's time for my favourite Happy Birthday graphic again.


lol that's great thanks harrison! It looks like one of those eye tests, I'll probably need to take one of those in a few more years.

I'm getting some Chinese take out later.


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> Thanks I appreciate it
> 
> lol that's great thanks harrison! It looks like one of those eye tests, I'll probably need to take one of those in a few more years.
> 
> I'm getting some Chinese take out later.


Sounds good mate - hope you have a great day.


----------



## zonebox

Excaliber said:


> It's my birthday, kinda sucks that I can't go out and do anything because of the lockdown - I don't like the reminder that I'm getting older either lol.


Happy birthday dude! I know it sucks getting older and all, but I do hope you treat yourself to something nice.










_A yummy looking cake for you!_​


----------



## harrison

Every time I lower this medication, because it makes me feel so tired and zonked out - I wake up early and want to call my wife straight away. I have no idea why. So far I've managed to restrain myself - lucky for her. :roll


----------



## Replicante

Excaliber said:


> It's my birthday, kinda sucks that I can't go out and do anything because of the lockdown - I don't like the reminder that I'm getting older either lol.


Happy birthday, man! :drunk


----------



## Replicante

Just tired.


----------



## Excaliber

zonebox said:


> Happy birthday dude! I know it sucks getting older and all, but I do hope you treat yourself to something nice.


Thanks a lot, got some Chinese take out and a bottle of wine is always good 



Replicante said:


> Happy birthday, man! :drunk


Thanks man, Cheers!


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

Excaliber said:


> It's my birthday, kinda sucks that I can't go out and do anything because of the lockdown - I don't like the reminder that I'm getting older either lol.


I'm late, but Happy Birthday all the same! :smile2:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

CoolLilChickadee said:


> I'm late, but Happy Birthday all the same! :smile2:


I am with her on this one, too.


----------



## john.myles

Feeling a lot less reactive and anxious these past 2 or 3 weeks and just working on maintaining a calm and more peaceful outlook towards society in general. Been travelling pretty well.


----------



## Citrine79

Umotivated about work and pretty disillusioned about things in general.


----------



## valina

lonely, lost, garbage.


----------



## Excaliber

CoolLilChickadee said:


> I'm late, but Happy Birthday all the same! :smile2:





iAmCodeMonkey said:


> I am with her on this one, too.


Thank you both, I had a good day


----------



## Myosr

I plan on channeling my emotional expression to strictly artistic * venues. With the caveat that I'm not going to consciously identify with my ghosts, and will only view them as imaginary creations that exist separately from me as an observer.

I started the post something objective thread because I felt I was becoming ungrounded in how I thought about and expressed my emotional states, as in my grasp of what is real and what is not was starting to slip (I don't want to really talk about this right now). I'm going to re-read David Chalmers' book on consciousness and post stuff from there to the thread because I think I need those kinds of affirmations at the moment.

I originally thought of going cold turkey and hardcore; the way I dealt with this issue in 2015-2016; disallowing all emotional expression and all reference to my internal states when I talk to people or write online. But I want to be able to learn from my mistakes. Extreme solutions may be easier to enforce, but they have other problems. I thought of making a full thread on the topic, but I think I've done similar threads before and it's not easy to communicate the concept of a fuzzy phenomenal state to someone who doesn't experience that.

I think I'm more comfortable now that I've made those small steps.

---

* I don't think what I do qualifies as art, but not sure what the best alternative word could be.


----------



## Hadara

Today I feel pretty down. I was just kind of "rejected" by a guy I kind of liked so I feel very sad. 

The thing is quite complicated. I've never been in a relationship before because even thought I've met many guys in my life, none of them had ever expressed any interest towards me, nor sexual, nor romantically, nothing. I'm always the friend or "maybe a second option", but just that. 

So I met this guy some time ago and we kind of get along since the first day we met. He was always so willing to talk to me, know more about me and seemed to be truly interested. I was quite confused because I can't feel attraction towards anyone either (I think I may be asexual), so for me to experience any kind of attraction I have to formulate it, think about it, create possible scenarios in my head picturing myself and that person together, then I could develop some attraction. The thing is, I didn't even liked the guy, but just the thought of "how nice it would be to finally be liked by someone", but yesterday he just told me he was already in a relationship (and he didn't like girls) so I guess it kind of reminded me that, as always, the idea of being loved is something that can only exist in my head. And yeah, that hurt.


----------



## Myosr

Myosr said:


> I plan on channeling my emotional expression to strictly artistic * venues. With the caveat that I'm not going to consciously identify with my ghosts, and will only view them as imaginary creations that exist separately from me as an observer.
> 
> I started the post something objective thread because I felt I was becoming ungrounded in how I thought about and expressed my emotional states, as in my grasp of what is real and what is not was starting to slip (I don't want to really talk about this right now). I'm going to re-read David Chalmers' book on consciousness and post stuff from there to the thread because I think I need those kinds of affirmations at the moment.
> 
> I originally thought of going cold turkey and hardcore; the way I dealt with this issue in 2015-2016; disallowing all emotional expression and all reference to my internal states when I talk to people or write online. But I want to be able to learn from my mistakes. Extreme solutions may be easier to enforce, but they have other problems. I thought of making a full thread on the topic, but I think I've done similar threads before and it's not easy to communicate the concept of a fuzzy phenomenal state to someone who doesn't experience that.
> 
> I think I'm more comfortable now that I've made those small steps.
> 
> ---
> 
> * I don't think what I do qualifies as art, but not sure what the best alternative word could be.


This isn't really working. I'm rediscovering what I already knew in 2015 I think. This is one of those things that you really can't do halfway. You either completely cut out emotional expression, or your mind will find a way to abuse whatever channel you leave open. If you want to pacify your emotions, declaw them and make them very secondary in your life, you have to hermetically seal them; lock them out completely. You can't make any exceptions in context or in persons. If they are completely removed from any attempt to reach other people, they just die away slowly, and you are left with shadows and physical pains you can't fully interpret.

Part of me knows this is the right thing to do, but at the same time, I'm not sure why I'm at this point where I have to make this kind of decision, again.


----------



## Myosr

A little better.



Myosr said:


> I'm going to re-read David Chalmers' book on consciousness[/SIZE]


I read a couple of chapters last night from the book, also a couple of more chapters of another book he wrote "Constructing the world".

It's difficult to explain exactly why reading books on philosophy, in particular the philosophy of mind, make me better:

1. It demystifies my sense of aloneness I feel about my mental states, by naturalizing consciousness in a non-dismissive way. If my phenomenal states are part of the natural world, *I feel less inclined to obsess over certain emotions or experiences, that other people don't relate to.*

2. The way I interpret my identity is a strong function in my stream of consciousness, which is itself a strong function of whatever I'm being exposed to (it's only 'mine' in the loose sense, it's going through the mind that's hosted by 'my' brain * ). *I'm less inclined to be erratic in my judgements / expression if I'm exposing myself to people who are careful to talk in a clear and accurate language in the books (aka philosophers).* Since my mind would unconsciously try to continue the same method of thinking (since it doesn't fully discriminate itself from its influence).

---

I'll keep posting updates in this thread because I'm starting to think that choosing not to direct your attention to emotions and choosing not to look at the world through emotional lenses may not be the same as suppression.

---

* I can refer to my physical body and use personal pronouns. The problem of identity only arises if I'm talking about thoughts or emotions. And the more I think of it, the more I think it's:
1- a problem of skepticism, not anti-realism (not yet anyway)
2- particularly apparent to me when I compare states from different instances. The glarest issue with my ego (which most people can't relate to) is that it's not fully unified. But there's also a lot of subtlety in how it's fragmented. It's not super apparent to me or to anyone unless you know what you are looking for. 

---

(Not to make the post super long but ...)

I used to attend group therapy with someone who had actual multiple personality disorder Dissociative identity disorder, and I witnessed one session where she changed from one identity (a meek, kind, compassionate woman) to one that was the opposite of that (angry, aggressive, hurtful). After coming back, she said she couldn't remember what happened.

I still remember her facial muscles twitching as the therapist kept insulting her "other identity" (they had different names) to her face trying to bring her to the surface.

I don't think you can really witness something like that and not be skeptical of the whole concept of a "self". Everything I've read about the topic seems to point that it's a fictional construct. It's just that most people are unable to exist outside it.

I only mentioned this story to say that I _don't_ have DID. But I don't think it's a black and white issue. Like all mental illness, I think there must be a spectrum of some sort.

---

It's also really hard for me to interpret my latest drawings any other way. When I look inside myself, I experience something like a double image effect (I talked about something similar in a very old thread that's now deleted "double opinions"). In both images, my identity is being contaminated, but at the same time, I do not have access to the objective truth of what I am, which is why there are two (or more) versions of it. Contamination itself doesn't fully explain my experience. *It has to be contamination + identity skepticism*. Not just one or the other.










^ It's also important to say that my interpretations of what I draw are also subject to both contamination ** and identity skepticism. So, even when I do this self-pseudo-psychoanalysis, my word isn't final. If you rewind a week or so when I posted these two images, I probably had a slightly different interpretation. I literally cannot escape this state. I do not have an internal objective observer. The observer IS the identity, it is the "I", the personal pronoun. The observer _is_ the thing that is contaminated and uncertain. ***

---

** physical touch is one of the most contaminating experiences which is probably why I often use it as a symbolic representation of that. If you touch me physically while you're talking to me, you're more likely to confuse and insert your words into my stream of thoughts. (probably has to do with a higher level of anxiety).

*** I'm in a talkative state right now, so I'll just add this: the way I use pseudonyms is part of the process. I title these videos "Mattie Draws" in a way I'd never use my birthname, partially because Mattie isn't really me (if identity involves constancy across time), and he/they aren't a simple stand in either. The way I allow my Mattie identity to be contaminated, sort of allows it to evolve differently from other possible identities I could be nurturing. If Mattie dies or is ignored for a prolonged period of time, another persona can come over and take over the main observer role. Using pseudonyms allows me to do that abruptly if needed, without confusing myself too much. In other words, there is no "I" behind my constructed identities. I am currently Mattie, but I can become other people if Mattie comes to die. And when that happens, I want to still be able to refer to my previous experience through them, without doing linguistic gymnastics using past tense and personal pronouns.


----------



## discopotato

Lonely.


----------



## Crisigv

My usual


----------



## Fever Dream

My ego took a solid hit today. So I don’t even know anymore.


----------



## coeur_brise

Confused, conflicted. Self-doubting.


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

Relieved.


----------



## Blue Dino

Unsure at whatever I have been long looking forward to will even happen. If it does, then I might have a year or two of lowered stress. Kind of a break. But due to covid and just the gradual changes in circumstance, meanwhile with other looming uncertain possibilities.


----------



## D'avjo

Me siento coco loco ese


Muy coco loco


----------



## Citrine79

Not doing well at the moment. Anxiety and worry levels are high again...currently in another episode of health anxiety and obsessing over every little thing. I miss what normal life was like and am seriously wondering if it will ever return. Growing more doubtful by the day.


----------



## SplendidBob

Honestly, the worst day I have had for a long time.

I have this interview tomorrow, assistant psychology post. Really want the post. Don't want the post in an acute ward. Which is where it is. Also don't in any way feel I am able to handle the social elements of the post. Or any post lol. But especially this one as it will be cofacilitating groups and so forth, and even running them eventually. 

So on top of interview anxiety, (I only found out about it Friday after talking to the consultant psychologist), I've just been quite depressed, and feeling hopeless. I also was convinced earlier I had insulted my best friend because she tried to kinda make me feel better this morning, and i didn't react too well, but it turned out she was just busy all day lol.


----------



## Duplo

Feeling a bit tense for some reason.


----------



## D'avjo

SplendidBob said:


> Honestly, the worst day I have had for a long time.
> 
> I have this interview tomorrow, assistant psychology post. Really want the post. Don't want the post in an acute ward. Which is where it is. Also don't in any way feel I am able to handle the social elements of the post. Or any post lol. But especially this one as it will be cofacilitating groups and so forth, and even running them eventually.
> 
> So on top of interview anxiety, (I only found out about it Friday after talking to the consultant psychologist), I've just been quite depressed, and feeling hopeless. I also was convinced earlier I had insulted my best friend because she tried to kinda make me feel better this morning, and i didn't react too well, but it turned out she was just busy all day lol.


I really hope it goes well mate, if not there will be others im sure

Just **** it, all that anxiety, **** that. Things could change somehow for you so you dont fear the social side in the future. Im sure its only how SA sufferers think other people will think that causes it - who gives a ****.

Either way mate, early days on the psychology front so guaranteed 100% other opportunities in that field.


----------



## Alleviate Suffering

I am so, so lonely. I feel like I managed to overcome my anxiety enough to create myself some kind of social life but it's all gone due to lock down.

I dread the week because of work related anxiety and now I dread the weekends because of the isolation. I need someone to talk to but I don't know where to turn.


----------



## CNikki

Bloated because of eating my dinner too fast. I was really hungry.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely and depressed, ugh. Always


----------



## harrison

Bloody hot - got to about 37 degrees today. Also I'm a bit pissed off I can't watch Season 3 of Succession - for most of it I couldn't decide whether to keep watching it or not. The characters are so annoying or just downright horrible it's unbelievable (but I guess that's the idea). 

The way Season 2 ended was actually pretty good though so now I want to see what happens next.


----------



## SparklingWater

Hopeful.


----------



## SplendidBob

D'avjo said:


> I really hope it goes well mate, if not there will be others im sure
> 
> Just **** it, all that anxiety, **** that. Things could change somehow for you so you dont fear the social side in the future. Im sure its only how SA sufferers think other people will think that causes it - who gives a ****.
> 
> Either way mate, early days on the psychology front so guaranteed 100% other opportunities in that field.


Thanks big boy.

I actually fairly last minute cancelled it (only found out about it Friday, tho hah). I absolutely hate doing that, its caving into avoidance, so sets a precedent.

I made a decision though, I don't think acute wards are going to be my thing, having read up on them. Fast turnover of patients, lots of distress, and atm, I feel closer to needing to be a patient in one, than a psychologist. I definitely didn't cancel due to acute interview anxiety, at least.

Honestly been struggling with this since the interview for peer support worker last weds, where they said "we are having trouble filling this post, two previous applicants couldn't handle the environment".

I am going to struggle with cofacilitating groups, and interacting with patients, and I'm not sure my first foray into this, with patients who have been sent there against there will is the right way to go. Obviously though right now I am trying to figure out just how much avoidance my decision was based on (because some of it will be, they practically were handing me the job, and that's whey the self sabotage kicks in).

Done now tho, onwards to the next thing.


----------



## valina

I feel like eating all the chocolate.


----------



## D'avjo

SplendidBob said:


> Thanks big boy.
> 
> .


Ah you remember, though it did leave its mark I guess.

You did the right thing today mate, and thats where i've just ran out of advice ha. You have to be comfortable, confident and reasonably happy in a job otherwise its gonna be **** every you time you wake and go to bed. You wont have much time to relax or enjoy things. You'll just be a miserable ****, or in your case Bob, even more of one lol jk


----------



## Persephone The Dread

> Oh, please, make another video about that. I'm sure this is gonna haunt my dreams but I just can't look away. This is majestic. Like a car crash


----------



## harrison

Slightly elevated - might be time for half a Valium just to calm down.

Jesus I wish I was up at the Marriott in Bangkok.


----------



## SplendidBob

D'avjo said:


> Ah you remember, though it did leave its mark I guess.


The doctors said the bruising would go down, and they were right!!

(too far? lol)



D'avjo said:


> You did the right thing today mate, and thats where i've just ran out of advice ha. You have to be comfortable, confident and reasonably happy in a job otherwise its gonna be **** every you time you wake and go to bed. You wont have much time to relax or enjoy things. You'll just be a miserable ****, or in your case Bob, even more of one lol jk


Hah, cheers fella. Preciate it.

Sending my sister over.


----------



## D'avjo

SplendidBob said:


> The doctors said the bruising would go down, and they were right!!
> 
> (too far? lol)
> 
> Hah, cheers fella. Preciate it.
> 
> Sending my sister over.


Yeah sorry couldnt stop myself going too far, got carried away lol.

Your sister is here now.

Oi sugar tits stop that for a mo and look up here, say hello to your brother.

She says Hi Bob.


----------



## caelle

Trying to be thankful for my job that I often hate. It's not a terrible job. It has no benefits but it works best with the schedule that I want.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, trying to decide what I want for dinner tonight.


----------



## Reality Sucks

I'm pretty depressed at the moment. I'm 25 years old and feel like I've got nowhere in life. This pandemic has shook me to my core as well. Sometimes life just feels like it is slipping away, and I'm too scared to act.

You know these past couple of years I have really grown up as a person, I do feel like an adult now. I am just severely lacking in the social aspect of life. I haven't had a girlfriend since my early teens. It wasn't even a proper relationship. My friends all went on their separate paths after school and we don't talk anymore. I deleted everyone off Facebook aside from five people, which is all family. It just feels very lonely.


----------



## CNikki

A bit lonely. Mostly my fault for it.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry, better eat something soon.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

2021 hasn't been the best year for me personally so far.


----------



## strugglingintro

I'm feeling quite annoyed at myself because of the fact that I just can't seem to overcome the habit of being awkward, getting myself into awkward situations and/or making myself look bad. For example, I don't always think first (before saying or doing something). Sometimes when I have conversations with people who I'm not particularly close with, I tend to feel this sort of pressure to come up with some kind of response quickly. Regrettably I do this just to avoid the dread that is the awkward silence and hide my inability to socialise well (compared to my colleagues and co-workers) - but I end up making myself or the conversation awkward anyway. Even if the awkwardness was brief or minor it would still make me feel like crap because it's not the kind of mistake I personally expect normal people would make whilst socialising. This habit just won't go away. No matter how many times I tell myself to always think things through and think about how I could've responded differently in past conversations if I was able to go back in time, I just end up repeating the same mistake. Sometimes I wish I could just rewind and try again. But I can't. I just can't. This isn't Forza.


----------



## CNikki

Mind is starting to wonder into some not-so-pleasant thoughts and I can only distract myself for so long from them. What sucks is that even if I try to do something productive it seems to backfire in some way anyway. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep soon as the best bet.


----------



## andy1984

like a complete mess. still fighting my brains desire to shut down completely. ug. idk what to do. lobotomy? it needs to be jump started. maybe electroshock therapy lol.


----------



## SparklingWater

I feel super soft, open and vulnerable.


----------



## Citrine79

Anxious,hopeless and just all around miserable. Things...on so many levels...seem so bleak right now. Sick of being what basically amounts to being a shut-in. Diet isn’t great and I don’t exercise...these are two of many things contributing to my misery.


----------



## ScorchedEarth

Feels like i've hit rock-bottom in self-esteem, and it's completely warranted. Wish I could just disappear. Instead it's going to have to be much messier and more traumatizing, when/if it comes to that.


----------



## CNikki

Energetic and of course there really isn't much to do. It's too cold to go anywhere today.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel so insignificant to this world.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Excited since my last Ebay order is here and should be delivered soon.


----------



## CNikki

Tired.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Cold and shivering at work even with my jacket. I have an extra shirt under. Might need long sleeves. 😬


----------



## SunshineSam218

I feel incredibly anxious right now and I think it's from quitting smoking, I'm about to reach my 2-week mark. So I feel proud of myself for that!  Good thing I put on some meditation music for me, it'll help relax me.


----------



## Citrine79

Empty and hopeless. Also struggling with my motivation level for work. Working from home isn’t all it is cracked up to be and I think I am a long ways off from returning to the office.


----------



## Crisigv

Very sad


----------



## alwaysrunning

A bit unwell and sad. My sleep is a bit messed up. Yesterday I went to sleep in the day so had trouble last night, so forced myself to not sleep after work today and maybe that will help my sleep tonight.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like ****


----------



## andy1984

ridiculously hungry. my tummy is so raaaar


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## CNikki

Tired and yet restless. Even if I feel anything else it seems to be mostly pushed aside due to this.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired and stuffed up again.


----------



## SplendidBob

Absolutely drained and lethargic and depressed. Also got a new pain issue due to an operation i wish i never had. It offered hope for relieving a problem, but didn't and now i have problems the op caused.

I couldn't even go outside for a walk today because its been raining.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So I was talking to the woman asking if she got the lightbill yet. Talked about other things in general. Thought about asking her about letting me live here by myself and paying all the rent on it but then backed out of asking her about it. Maybe she thinks I can't handle it or she changed her mind about moving. I won't know if I don't ask. Guess it's one of those things where I have to keep asking her about it.


----------



## Citrine79

Miserable...having a really bad “time of the month”. Migraines and other symptoms worse than they have been in months. Possibily due to my higher than usual anxiety level at the moment. Also, now Seasonal Affective Disorder kicking in on top of everything else. A prolonged period of extreme cold and snow is coming. I shouldn’t care since I barely leave the house but is depressing AF to look outside at giant piles of snow, dark grey skies from morning till dusk and knowing that your area is one of the few places with such miserable weather.


----------



## harrison

Hot


----------



## CNikki

Went from being okay to now feeling completely helpless because of what I've been told/notified just earlier.

I just...can't. I can't win or at least be on some stable ground. What's the point?


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Pretty damn good.



CNikki said:


> Went from being okay to now feeling completely helpless because of what I've been told/notified just earlier.
> 
> I just...can't. I can't win or at least be on some stable ground. What's the point?


I hope you are doing okay over there. "hugs" :squeeze


----------



## Omni-slash

Intense depersonalization. The only thing meditation has made me understand is that I'm not in control of anything. I just observe my actions and thoughts. I hope I can get back to the illusory experience of 'self' again, it was so much more comfortable. I don't even know why I'm typing this.


----------



## Shrinking_Violet

Tired and sad


----------



## copper

Stomach slightly upset, not much motivation, tired. Just feeling under the weather.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Slightly dreading getting an oil change today. Just dont like interacting with people to deal with my car. It'll end up being fine as usual.


----------



## Replicante

Numb


----------



## SparklingWater

Frustrated


----------



## blue2

Goosed.


----------



## Myosr

I was lying in bed and on the verge of falling asleep.

Then I was in this weird state between sleep and wakefulness and it's weird because it feels so much better to be in this state. I'm not sure if it's just because you lose sense of you as a person (sort of like ego death for a couple of minutes before you either fall asleep or get back to wakefulness).

I think I've always really liked this state. I remember when I was young I'd set the alarm to wake up multiple times at night in order to try and experience that state as much as possible. 

---

I wish I could just turn off my sense of self for an extended period of time. 

Also, I got into this weird train of thought where I started asking myself if death felt that good? Is the process of dying this peaceful? Do you just lose your memory and recognition of who you are in those last moments? If so, I think death would be fine. But I think it depends on how you die.


----------



## discopotato

Sad.


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Toyerd.


----------



## harrison

I feel great - which is pretty weird because this morning I felt terrible. Jesus. :eyes


----------



## spotlessmind90

I feel fine


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless and alone


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Shoppers high, gut rot, tense back, emotional mess


----------



## CNikki

Like I'm having a mental fatigue. Not because of being overworked, rather that because of the past two days basically seeming like an extensive weekend, I don't feel the motivation to go back to 'business as usual'.


----------



## 8888

Depressed, hopeless, at rock bottom, and wishing I didn't exist.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Appreciated.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Upset that I have to amend my taxes cause I got another w2 form and didn't think I'd get two just cause of the new owner I got last year. And no one told me this. Apparently, my w2 form was up there for 2 weeks and they give it to me the friggin day after I filed my original one. Really, I'm more pissed than upset about it. That was their fault on that. So now I have to deal with this tomorrow.


----------



## CNikki

Upset would be an understatement. I just hope that it doesn't disrupt my sleep during the night.


----------



## CNikki

A toss between being 'neutral' and then bouts of feeling upset (somewhat in an anxious way even though it's not full blown anxiety) that I feel like I'm just going to cave into the learned helplessness once more. The advice of trying to reach out to someone when in a vulnerable place is absolute BS because reality is that people just don't care. _(Mainly talking about real life when I say this. Some on here have been gracious to check in on me and it does help.)_


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Bored todeath. I hate it when I go visit my mother and we watch boring home makeover shows instead of watching something on Hulu. So I'm just using my phone. If I have to watch this stupid home makeover crap for another 10 minutes it's going to drive me nuts. Other than that its been okay but this stupid show is boring.


----------



## Citrine79

Feeling down and pretty hopeless as the snow and bitter cold has returned with a vengeance and so has my Seasonal Affective Depression on top of all my other misery. Also, starting to struggle with motivation and effort again as working from home is really starting to lose its luster.


----------



## CNikki

Tired...


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit tired and stuffed up still. Vicks isn't helping.


----------



## Memories of Silence

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> A bit tired and stuffed up still. Vicks isn't helping.


I hope you feel better soon. :squeeze


----------



## Crisigv

I'm glad I made myself go back to the dentist.


----------



## copper

Crabby. Back is bothering me and tired dealing with stupid coworkers today.


----------



## valina

Emotions are like waves.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I don't like these new changes that have been getting piled onto me at work the past 2 months. Once I get used to something they change something else and I keep forgetting the new change until I remember. Then once I remember I get another new change and on and on. It makes my work anxiety worse. This year has not been good for me and I just want a break from it.


----------



## alwaysrunning

I overslept for work today. Yesterday I just wanted to go to bed so I just laid down and hadn't set any alarm. I knew this was coming a while ago. I tried to give work a lot of notice of annual leave I needed to take. I am due for my annual leave in a week and a half that I had arranged. I am having a polar opposite in personality in regards to work. I knew it was coming when I found it hard to care. Today I woke up an hour late and then I just couldn't go in. Yesterday in the bank when I went to get coins for my meter I just had that " can you help me, can you help me internally, wanting to ask someone". Food has been really difficult as well lately. Yesterday I didn't shower because Thursdays I don't see anyone in my job.


----------



## copper

Left hip is killing me. It always does after getting up. Usually gets better throughout the day. My father's hip went bad when he was 51 to the point he couldn't get out of the car without screaming at the top of his lungs. Luckily, my isn't that bad yet. He finally had it replaced a couple years later.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Good and excited about what lies ahead. This is gonna be a year of abundance for me, good things have already started happening.


----------



## CNikki

Pretty good. Had Chinese takeout (not intentionally for the fact it's the Chinese New Year, but still good timing), having a glass chilled, and simply relaxing. This better be the longest three day weekend going.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## Crisigv

Unwanted


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good (aside from feeling sad about someone's sister's cat)


----------



## MCHB

Totally not drunk ^_^


----------



## harrison

Feeling pretty strong. Just started a 5 day hard-lockdown here and it feels like nothing compared to what we went through last year. 

Big deal.


----------



## alwaysrunning

Like I want to go to sleep but I have another job to go to. I will be pleased when today is over.


----------



## Blue Dino

Worried and Binded.


----------



## Fever Dream

I slept wrong, and now my neck hurts. I'm finding it hard to get back to sleep.


----------



## Blue Dino

Fever Dream said:


> I slept wrong, and now my neck hurts. I'm finding it hard to get back to sleep.


Hope this helps.


----------



## Fever Dream

Blue Dino said:


> Hope this helps.


----------



## alwaysrunning

I am feeling that it would be nice to talk to the right person about something specific. I came home from my first job and haven't been to the other place I was going; just going to be in for the rest of the day. Just have a real issue with something still. There is one person that I know will understand, I keep writing to them in a message that the next time we meet maybe we can talk about this as I really don't want it written down. I keep writing this message to them only to delete it and and then make out like everything is okay.


----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

Atm, I'm supposed to be working but I have no work to do.
I dont want to tell my manager because wheneer I tell her I've run out of things to do she gives me too much....
So, I'm sort of just relaxing but I feel guilty.


----------



## lily

I got up with a sore throat and then a running nose so I took Echinacea and ate a delicious orange and vitamins


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted & stressed & out of sorts


----------



## Citrine79

Unbelievably awful. Anxiety and depression are high plus going thru a period of Seasonal Affective Depression (weather has been especially crappy here..3 different snow events just this week alone!) and Health worries (googling stuff and it leads me to all bad things). News doesn’t seem to be much better and my already strong feeling of hopelessness...both for the present and the future...is getting deeper. Wish I had a road trip or show...even a trip into the office at this point...to look forward to.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Probably need to stop posting about this, but nothing else is going on in my life so. I've now reached a level where if someone asks something about my videos on social media someone else will respond to the questions for me and I have content fans who want more of my content, which is becoming increasingly anxiety inducing because there's now more pressure to reach/maintain a certain entertainment value.

Also I'm procrastinating on video editing right now.


----------



## Crisigv

Exhausted after binge watching 8 hours of Bridgerton and sleeping after 6am.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, need to get acclimatized to Saturday work hours again before the weekend.


----------



## CNikki

Contemplative to the point that I don't know if I can really live the way I am for that much longer. (No, this isn't indicating self-harm.)


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Burntout


----------



## Ai

Tired. Burdensome. A little hungry.


----------



## blue2

I'm a good boi.


----------



## Persephone The Dread




----------



## Citrine79

Pretty down and out. Still having a health anxiety episode. Seasonal Affective Disorder worsening. Just so sick of it all and the realization the life won’t ever fully return to normal...at least not anytime soon. Certainly not where I live.


----------



## riverbird

Kind of relieved.


----------



## Citrine79

Bleak and hopeless. “That time of the month” always seems to come at the worst time for me. Having a bad go of things right now and of course, on que...cramps, pain and all the misery that comes with it. Snowing yet again. Cold and dark yet again. Things don’t work like tbey are supposed to. I am also back to being set off by the littlest, most mundane things or comments...also seeing people having fun and enjoying themselves hurts because I am nowhere near that and not sure I will be anytime soon.


----------



## Replicante

Exhausted and thirsty :yawn


----------



## aqwsderf

Replicante said:


> Exhausted and thirsty


Drink water!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I saw something disturbing on my FB recently. This dude that posts troll posts on there posted a cover photo of a dead cat and supposedly said he found the dead cat. But idk. 

It seems odd especially since he has a profile picture of Jeffrey Damher that says thug life on it. I thought the profile pic saying thug life was supposed to be kind of funny at first but this is getting rather disturbing. Even more disturbing is he was a guy I dated in 2013 and he sent me a friend request months ago. Thankfully, he doesnt know where I live. He messaged me like 5 months ago saying he likes to post crazy stuff for attention basically. This might be me just assuming things but it's bizarre and the things he posted used tobe funny. But I may be looking at the downward spiral of a madman. :afr

I may not be a huge animal person but I do care about them and find this upsetting. I just hope it's not what I think it is.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Worried about my brother


----------



## Blue Dino

Each day is beginning to feel less and less rewarding, unmotivating and pointless to go through, now that the various things I use to do or look forward to doing to unwind at the end of the day, I am simply not in the mood for them anymore. I simply can't get myself to care for them no matter how much I try, because I am just overwhelm with piling of worries. Morale to just get out of bed everyday and carry on with life is very low. Yet the pressure and obligations to do more during the days, and constantly having new stressors piled on my plate, it's just making each coming day a negative reinforcement increase in wanting to exist.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

@Blue Dino

:squeeze


----------



## copper

Glad my lower back is feeling better.


----------



## Citrine79

Not doing well at all. Have an appt with my therapist today so at least I can sound off about some of the many issues I am having. Not sure it will do much in the grand scheme of things but at least I have someone to talk to.


----------



## Replicante

aqwsderf said:


> Drink water!


lol Yeah, I drank lots! Hot weather here :b


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

My boss is giving us a raise and I dont know how much of a raise I'm getting so I guess I'll know within a couple weeks or I'll have to ask her. Yay for being lost all the time. lol 

At least I'm getting another one. I'm assuming it's very little, though.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Silent Memory said:


> Very annoyed at myself and my anxiety.  I misunderstood things and worried too much about something that didn't even happen, and it hurt and scared someone, so he left. Now I can't do anything to fix it because he misunderstood something as well, so now he hates me and never wants to hear from me again.
> 
> I feel like I'm a bad person. I didn't even know he felt like that, and I wish I could change what I was like to him so everything could be okay. I was stupid.


You are none of those things, misunderstandings happen from both parties, but what matters is how they deal with them. "tear"


----------



## Ai

Surprisingly relaxed. I've been aiming for about 10 minutes of meditation a day and, oddly, I do feel like it may be helping some to curb my anxiety.


----------



## Citrine79

Tense and super unmotivated to work. Got some stuff done this morning so it isn’t a bad thing if I don’t do much. 3 days since I contacted IT about my computer issue and no response at all. Makes me not want to work all the more.


----------



## CNikki

A bit irritable. Hopefully that changes soon enough.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry


----------



## blue2

Polite.


----------



## lily

Today's the last day and then I could try 2 tablets of ocd medication. I get to see my sister tomorrow, that's nice.


----------



## blue2

Sorry @lily I never replied to those pms, but realistically I'm not really super religious, I just know it cause I was made do it for so long : /


----------



## lily

blue2 said:


> Sorry @lily I never replied to those pms, but realistically I'm not really super religious, I just know it cause I was made do it for so long : /


Hm.. which PM's r u talking about?


----------



## Memories of Silence

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> You are none of those things, misunderstandings happen from both parties, but what matters is how they deal with them. "tear"


Aww, thanks for this.  I was overthinking a lot when I typed that, which is what I have a bad habit of doing sometimes. You're none of those things either, and I agree with you.  I'm glad I don't care about what my post was about now. :squeeze


----------



## Fever Dream

My rotator cuffs are sore for no reason. I feel like I've spent all day swimming.


----------



## zonebox

Not how I am supposed to feel, I am supposed to be feeling bad right now, but I don't feel that way. I am feeling okay right now.


----------



## lily

alright, I took 2 pills of the OCD medication and will see how it goes


----------



## lily

I'm feeling better atm but I'm needy/want socialization


----------



## Kinable

lily said:


> I'm feeling better atm but I'm needy/want socialization


you seem like a really cool Christian, do you happen to have discord by any chance? I don't come on these forums very often anymore since I cured my social anxiety disorder among other things


----------



## lily

@Kinable, thanks, I don't have or like Discord but you seem to have received God's blessings. I've love to hear about that


----------



## johnfred01

I'm feeling kinda tense and nervous, but I am being productive, so it works, somehow. lol


----------



## Citrine79

Obsessing and worried about several things right now. Also, finding it harder to function on a daily basis.


----------



## copper

Congested. Stupid wood smoke. I hate when people burn green wood and then choke it down producing tons of smoke. NW wind blowing into my house. I can even smell it.


----------



## harrison

Sort of tired and a bit out of it but I can feel my mind starting to race - on the edge of mania. Weird.


----------



## Fever Dream

An odd mix of the usual anxiety and depression. But also added in there is (unwarranted) hopefulness and confidence. I guess somebody must have dipped their positive chocolate in my normally negative peanut butter this morning.


----------



## zonebox

A bit out of it now, I took a Valium because I had a dentist appointment earlier, just a routine cleaning, but unfortunately without the Valium I tense all up and start shaking. The shaking, just makes me more nervous, which just tends to create a feedback loop until I turn into a human vibrator. I suppose that makes me a mutant of sorts, I wonder if my powers could be used to save mankind.. I should check into getting an application with Xmen. I wanted to work today, but that is out of the question as I don't feel fit to be behind the wheel. I don't know if it does anything for me other than loosing me up, so when I do get nervous I don't shake as much. It does make me feel a bit spaced out, so I don't think driving would be a wise choice.


I'm glad the appointment is over with though, I don't have to deal with another one for six months.


----------



## Citrine79

Feeling melancholy. Something that used to make me feel happy instead made feel sad tonight. Maybe because I wish I was there. Or maybe because I am in such a bad place right now that nothing but bad and scary things can enter my mind.


----------



## Starcut83

Right now I'm feeling like I'm somewhere in between...between what I don't know...just sitting in the unknown...uneasily comfortably...I'm feeling contradictory. Somehow making sense out of nonsense, for myself.


----------



## Replicante

A bit relieved my grandmother got the second vaccine for covid. 1,840 people died just today.


----------



## EnigmaSugar

I feel physically ill. I think it's my liver that is hurting a little bit. Earlier I took 11 Aleve pills all at once.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Miserable


----------



## harrison

Tired, my head feels weird and I wish I could just be more productive.


----------



## lily

I will be seeing my psychiatrist on Saturday and I hope I will be happy and that God is with me. I hope you feel better soon, @harrison, I went for a long walk today, so happy about that


----------



## harrison

lily said:


> I will be seeing my psychiatrist on Saturday and I hope I will be happy and that God is with me. I hope you feel better soon, @harrison, I went for a long walk today, so happy about that


Thanks a lot Lily - that's very nice of you, hope everything goes alright with your psychiatrist. That's good you went for a walk, I've been pretty tired today but will probably feel better tomorrow.


----------



## lily

harrison said:


> Thanks a lot Lily - that's very nice of you, hope everything goes alright with your psychiatrist. That's good you went for a walk, I've been pretty tired today but will probably feel better tomorrow.


I feel that it's healthy, my sister told me even she feels so much happier after a walk and I'm the one who followed the rules and never went out for a long time and I also went to Starbuck's and there was music while we were there, it felt more normal and happy

Thank you, that meant so much to me about how it will go with my psychiatrist. I'm wondering as well


----------



## lily

I forgot about the place I used to go to with people who have mental health challenges. perhaps I should join virtually when I'm feeling well enough and free


----------



## lily

harrison said:


> Tired, my head feels weird and I wish I could just be more productive.


I've been having a headache from drinking coffee. I think I shouldn't drink coffee after 9pm, hopefully we feel better soon


----------



## lily

I will be seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow. I can't wait and I hope I'll be happy and all-set for my goals


----------



## AvoidantGuy

Depressed and defeated


----------



## Starcut83

Haunted by memories that bring so much pain...if you've ever felt that feeling like in your mind...in your whole being...you are reaching for someone...feeling like you would give anything just to see their smile again...but they're not here and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it...ever...ever...


----------



## Crisigv

Hopeless and worthless


----------



## lily

I'm happy that I got to see my psychiatrist today and I'm going to give fluoxetine (Prozac) a try for my OCD that had come up nowadays


----------



## Starcut83

Relaxed and mellow...little bit faded...keeping myself lifted with upbeat music.


Feeling the occasional worry try to creep in and spark anxiety but I just remind me that I'm here and worries are just thoughts that hardly ever manifest in reality so why bother wasting time with them...I'm good right now.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A little bit blah and tired today, not sure why. Might be related to my stuffy nose again haha


----------



## lily

I can't wait 'til my appointment two days later


----------



## Citrine79

Miserable, lost, hopeless...and demoralized about everything. I’m all negative, all the time and don’t see any light at the end of tunnel.


----------



## Blue Dino

Angry, exhausted and hopeless.


----------



## Crisigv

Happy to have the next 4 days off.


----------



## Starcut83

Cold and a little lonely.


----------



## aqwsderf

Low moods again. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to participate in life


----------



## Zatch

Like I'm about to pass out during at least 2/3rds of every shift I have worked thia week but uhh let's get this bread


----------



## CNikki

Like dirt.


----------



## SparklingWater

Disappointed. Unwanted and uncared for.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm getting tired of the water going off here. It's happened twice recently and probably more than 25 times total since I've lived here. Ugh. Had to use a water bottle to get the toothpaste off my toothbrush.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, chilly, sick


----------



## alienjunkie

anxious


----------



## lily

feeling better, i hope fully soon


----------



## lily

I slept too much today and drank coffee so I can't sleep now but I don't want to ruin tomorrow, I hope tomorrow will be a nice day


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm upset with my oldest sister cause we got into an argument on the phone and she got mad cause I could not understand her about getting the new tag for my car. She got really mad and said she tried explaining it to me 5 times so I told her I'm hanging up. She always gets mad when someone doesnt understand something but it's the first argument we got into with each other. She said I was supposed to get something in the mail about it but I was never told this. I was driving to the tag place and then came back home before I even got there. I dont get why she has to be like this. So now I'm crying. Apparently I didnt even have to go to the tag place. I'm having a ****ty day.

I hate it when people get annoyed or mad just cause you dont understand something. No wonder I never ask for help withanything. I always have to be lost and confused.


----------



## harrison

Much better. It's amazing just how much of an effect your environment has on you. That place is depressing. I came here to stay for a few days and I feel like a new man.


----------



## thomasjune

Pretty good. Now I get to relax and gather my thoughts for a couple of days.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## CNikki

Nervous. I'm supposed to meet up with someone and hoping I don't end up tensing up.


----------



## Saoirse8

Feeling pretty good. There's a whole day ahead of me with lots to do, but I'm not scared or anxious about getting anything done. I'm planning on exercising later and looking forward to it.


----------



## Crisigv

Worried, helpless, hopeless, depressed


----------



## Starcut83

I feel relaxed today but also just kinda blah...I feel numb, especially creatively but I'm just going to stay positive and ride this out.


----------



## lily

I feel like I can't sleep yet. I've slept too much in the day being bored but I want to take another course again. I just need to observe my medication effects that works the best for me before going ahead with taking on another course , which I'd be excited about in learning


----------



## lily

And I drank yummy coffee which tastes especially good after it has been refrigerated and then drunken Mm...


----------



## Starcut83

Tired. Last night was the night I don't sleep this week apparently. Despite that I feel okay, just low energy.


----------



## Citrine79

Unbelievably awful. So. much. anxiety.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Very worried.


----------



## CeltAngel

Tense. I've been informed that a stranger is due to enter my haven tomorrow. Even though it's for a necessary purpose, I don't do well with this. :frown2:


----------



## Citrine79

Anxious and lonely.


----------



## Starcut83

My body has a feeling as if physical pain were an emotion and that emotion was thick and flammable like tar and someone set it on fire, weighing me down.


----------



## Crisigv

Broken


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Burnt out


----------



## firelight

Like a turd.


----------



## CeltAngel

Exhausted. Now that the stranger is gone and I was finally able to sleep, I feel the physical and emotional tiredness that had built up around the incident. I also feel weird about my insomnia and anxiety-fuelled post frenzy on here. Like, maybe I said too much. :hide


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Relived, also a bit warm haha


----------



## Citrine79

I’m all kinds of messed up right now. And deeply afraid about what the future many hold.


----------



## caelle

I'm feeling really depressed and lonesome


----------



## Starcut83

Feeling fed up. Irritated. When is this cycle gonna letup? I hate it.


----------



## Starcut83

So much better.:heart


----------



## CeltAngel

Pretty at peace, actually. It's nice.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A bit lonely tonight. Her internet has been flaky lately so we haven't been talking like our usual routine.


----------



## discopotato

Worthless and forgotten. Always and forever.


----------



## CeltAngel

Ambivalent, but then that seems to be my default feeling these days.


----------



## Starcut83

Just woke up, feeling rested.


----------



## CNikki

Nervous, even though I shouldn't be. Just stupid anxiety embedded in me.


----------



## Noimportant

Restless, for some reason. (Full moon approaching)?


----------



## CeltAngel

Purged, calm and complete.


----------



## Starcut83

Reminiscing in nostalgia.


----------



## Citrine79

Empty, hopeless and can’t stop worrying. I’m a sad sack of a person who gets no enjoyment out of anything...even things I used to enjoy. All I do is worry and obsess about bad things.


----------



## Starcut83

Emotionally flat...empty...lonely...


----------



## CeltAngel

Overtired, but utterly brilliant.


----------



## Starcut83

Feeling a little better now, somehow. It's a mystery to me but I'll gladly accept it. Feelings are coming back...starting to feel alive again.


----------



## Citrine79

Still feeling empty and hopeless...and in a state of constant worry. Talking with my therapist isn’t enough anymore...I think I need more help and some kind of meds. There is an urgent care center around the block from my house...might be making a trip there soon.


----------



## Starcut83

I feel like I've entered a parallel universe and everyone's still posting somewhere in the other universe.


----------



## CeltAngel

Pretty great actually. I wish it was a bit less humid, but otherwise, I'm as happy as a clam.


----------



## Citrine79

Not great...usually feel pretty down on Sundays as it is but today is worse. It is raining and gloomy. Still worried about a lot.


----------



## Starcut83

A little anxious this morning, though I can't pinpoint why.


----------



## zonebox

I'm kind of excited to see what the new forum will look like.


----------



## gnomealone




----------



## CNikki

A little bit sleep deprived.


----------



## Starcut83

Besides my back hurting a bit from sitting in this chair that really wasn't made to be sat in for so long...my old computer desk chair with actual cushioning broke. I feel good, calm, peaceful.


----------



## Citrine79

Sad and hopeless.


----------



## CeltAngel

Seriously, teeth-grindingly anxious.


----------



## Citrine79

Uneasy and a bit jittery right now in addition to my pretty much 24-7 state of sadness and hopelessness.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I had to text a number for work and he sent a funny typo and said Titanic you got it. lmao Even though today wasnt the best day that was pretty friggin hilarious.


----------



## burgerchuckie

Disappointed. We're on lockdown again. Ahhhhh, when will this end?


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good at the moment, I'm enjoying the new look of SAS, and poking and prodding around to see what it is capable of.


----------



## Starcut83

A small paradox. Experiencing a bit of anxiety but there's a calm peaceful feeling in and around me as well.


----------



## Starcut83

lol now I feel slightly creeped out in a gross sense...I just stepped on a roach with my bare feet. I heard a crunch and thought "It's just a leaf." then I thought "Wait, what would a leaf be doing in here?"


----------



## Excaliber

Impatient, I'm hoping the weather warms up a bit so I can take my bike out for a ride again.


----------



## Citrine79

Struggling today, even moreso than usual. I’m so sad and worried right now.


----------



## CeltAngel

Concerned. Postdrome sucks.


----------



## harrison

Tired. Even just a small dose of this stuff seems to knock me out now and it's hard to wake up.


----------



## CeltAngel

Abnormal, scared, sad, lonely.


----------



## Starcut83

A little euphoric.


----------



## CeltAngel

Relaxed. Still washed out, but things are returning to normal.


----------



## Excaliber

harrison said:


> Tired. Even just a small dose of this stuff seems to knock me out now and it's hard to wake up.


That sounds rough, hope you get some of your energy back soon!


----------



## harrison

Excaliber said:


> That sounds rough, hope you get some of your energy back soon!


Thanks mate.


----------



## Crisigv

Not the worst, considering


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Warm. Better open my window tonight


----------



## zonebox

Sleepy, I haven't been getting very much sleep lately due to my nocturnal nature and having to be up early in the morning.


----------



## Citrine79

Not good at all. My work is beginning to really suffer. Haven’t been eating or sleeping much either. In an 24-7 state of panic for about the last week or so and thinking something is wrong with me.


----------



## Shydragon221

CeltAngel said:


> Abnormal, scared, sad, lonely.


We're all a little abnormal so one less thing to worry about


----------



## Shydragon221

new to the site so lost, lonely and terrified


----------



## Starcut83

I think a combination of the heat and my blood pressure meds have me feeling light-headed, I may need to lay down.


----------



## Citrine79

Sad, worried...my downward spiral continues.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely and sad


----------



## lily

I would like to feel more awake and less bored


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Too hot, too cold, too hot, too cold, usual spring BS


----------



## Starcut83

Today was so hot here and my room heats up quickly and stays hot. I felt very uncomfortable. But now it's cooled off and I feel pretty good.


----------



## Starcut83

Well, it warmed up but I got a huge fan blowing on me. That combined with some meditation today I feel a deep sense of contentment.


----------



## zkv

Nauseous, and cold. I so don't want to throw up, although doing so would make me feel better.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Aggressive people get away with too damn much. So I'm in a bad mood. Trying to get it off my mind.


----------



## Citrine79

Can’t shake this overwhelming feeling of sadness and hopelessness no matter what I try.


----------



## Crisigv

Inferior and lonely


----------



## Persephone The Dread

.


----------



## Crisigv

A little nervous to go to work while my skin is flaring up. Also, my dad is making pasta salad, and I'm jealous, lol.


----------



## zonebox

Feeling okay for the moment 🙃


----------



## valina

Anxious, overwhelmed, and a bit disappointed.


----------



## uziq

very very bored


----------



## nodamecantabile

I feel anxious about going out with all these hate crime stories I've been reading. a bit agoraphobic right now


----------



## Replicante

Better than yesterday.


----------



## Citrine79

Miserable...completely and totally miserable.


----------



## caelle

I finally quit my job and now I'm so scared I won't find something else. I had to quit though I was miserable. But this was my main first job after like 10 years of not working due to anxiety. At least now I have experience and references I can use. But I honestly don't want to work at all after what I went through at this place.


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy, but who cares


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Freaking out a bit cause I ordered too much stuff at work. Why I did this, I have no clue.


----------



## Citrine79

Frustrated and annoyed today. The smallest little thing can set me off. Today, it was a couple things and it is diubly frustrating because I was actually doing decent with my work but now have lost any motivation I had.


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

Full


----------



## valina

I'm feeling quite good this morning. Hope this feeling will last for a few days


----------



## Blue Dino

Like melting chocolate soft syrup ice cream.


----------



## Fever Dream

Blue Dino said:


> Like melting chocolate soft syrup ice cream.


Much like yellow snow, I'd check that ice cream ahead of time.


----------



## CWe

Empty and Dull


----------



## Citrine79

Annoyed and frustrated.


----------



## Starcut83

I'm sorry you two aren't feeling well. I'll skip on how I feel.

@CWe The dog in your avatar has eyebrows. So cute!


----------



## CWe

Starcut83 said:


> I'm sorry you two aren't feeling well. I'll skip on how I feel.
> 
> @CWe The dog in your avatar has eyebrows. So cute!


Thanks


----------



## valina

Tired


----------



## Crisigv

Very depressed, today is a bad day for me.


----------



## SilentLyric

okay.


----------



## Blue Dino

Fever Dream said:


> Much like yellow snow, I'd check that ice cream ahead of time.


🍋🍨😉


----------



## Fever Dream

Blue Dino said:


> 🍋🍨😉


----------



## Citrine79

Not great...as usual.


----------



## SplendidBob

Feeling great. Was asked out by a really nice lady, going to go for a walk with her.

Also, a new business opportunity and my new part-time job starts soon. After a year of immense self work and trouble, things are coming together. They can fall apart though, lots of things outside my control.


----------



## CNikki

Great.


----------



## zonebox

Definitely have been better.


----------



## Replicante

Exhausted


----------



## PandaBearx

Run down


----------



## hayes

Burning up.


----------



## andy1984

hot and sticky


----------



## Citrine79

Gloomy...just like the weather.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I can't even order supplies at work without a coworker telling me what to do. Or what not to do rather. I should be able to order something if I'm low on it. These sociopaths never cease to amaze me. I get bullied for every small thing and it's ****ed up. I wish I could order them around like they do me. I'm always on edge with people. My SA definitely prepared me for the work world cause of always being on edge with people. Before working, my SA would always tell me that I should be embarrassed about very minor things and now I always have people bullying me over very minor things. I don't deserve this.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Now I'm pretty mad cause my boss changed the schedule to where I couldnt get two days off in a row. She gives me the benefit of making my own schedule and I cant even do that now cause I cant get my two days off. So I come in to work for 4 hours on my off day cause I thought I had work but she changed my schedule. Wtf. Then some ******* decides to slam the phone on the wall and tear the wire that holds the phone to the wall so I have to go out of my way to buy a completely new phone and get my boss to pay me back. I hate assholes.

So looks like I only get one day off this week cause I come in on my off day and my boss decided she didnt want me getting two days off in a row. Great. Why cant bad people get punished for a change?


----------



## Citrine79

Bored and unmotivated.


----------



## Zatch

The fine line between being done with everything and exploding on everyone that talks to me. All too familiar.

I want to disappear.


----------



## Crisigv

Upset


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I feel great!


----------



## Citrine79

Anxious and kind of uncomfortable.


----------



## Zatch

Heavily jaded. Probably going to implode socially if I get this new job working from home.


----------



## either/or

Dismayed.


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

Tired. Sore legs. Good sore. Post workout sore.


----------



## Tymes Rhymes

Anxious and not just of the social variety.

I have this constantly intrusive worry that I need to improve my life's circumstances right now that won't dissipate. It has metastasized like a mind worm.


----------



## CNikki

Felt a little conflicted. But right now I feel more so alright. After some life changes I feel like I've mellowed out a little.


----------



## Zatch

Nevet more excited this year. I'm ready to move forward and stop harping on bygones.


----------



## either/or

Like total ****.


----------



## Citrine79

Ugh...the struggle is real today. Unmotivated and hopeless.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling pretty discouraged about finding my own place. It's like I dont mind waiting 6 months if I have to but I would also like one within 3 months cause I'm just ready to move out. It's all I can think about right now. :/ I'm not in a huge rush but also dont want to wait a whole year. Renting a house wouldn't be a bad idea either if I can find something fairly cheap in a nice area. But if I have to wait 6 months I guess I will.


----------



## BeeCharmer

Stuck in a very deep hole.


----------



## Citrine79

Meh. Speak with my therapist today so that makes me feel a bit better but otherwise...meh. Continue to lack motivation to get my work done.


----------



## Crisigv

abandoned and unloved


----------



## SparklingWater

Better. I forget sometimes things are a practice. Not doing it once or a few days. Daily, consistently. That's how real change happens. The physiological piece, the neural networks have to be given time to change, new pathways have to grow. Have to go easier on myself. I'm doing my best.


----------



## Whatswhat

Bleak


----------



## thomasjune

Tired. Like I want to sleep for a week.


----------



## coeur_brise

Kind of nice for a change. Nice and light.


----------



## andy1984

i was a bit naughty, so i should feel bad about it, but i feel fine. i think i could end up overthinking it though, and feel bad in that way if it keeps me awake etc.


----------



## wassupgabbyy

I’m feeling tired. I struggle to sleep at night and it effects me every single day. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Citrine79

Feeling low. The barrage of doom and gloom just doesn’t end.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Didn't have the best day. I cried in the parking lot in my car on break today. 🤕


----------



## Crisigv

Forgotten


----------



## CNikki

It could be better. But I'm trying at least.


----------



## wassupgabbyy

tired. extremely tired. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## andy1984

just standing around waiting at work puts me on edge. idk if more work is coming so I just do nothing until it comes or someone says we're done. I mostly just want to go home lol. screw money.


----------



## Citrine79

Sunday dread setting in already. Not looking forward to my workload this week plus I have to make not one, but two phone calls I have been putting off for as long as possible. Both likely will not go well and I will sound like an idiot.


----------



## slyfox

Hopeless, overwhelmed, and exhausted


----------



## Citrine79

Hopeless as always and getting more concerned by the day about where things might be headed.


----------



## thomasjune

Pretty good at the moment.


----------



## andy1984

good. relaxed. I felt ill last night with a really bad headache. glad it passed overnight and I slept ok. I need to go out for a walk today. I did my washing and cleaned the kitchen and bathroom and doorknobs incase my illness came from there. and used hand sanitizer on my phone.


----------



## Citrine79

Tired and a bit hazy following a migraine.


----------



## CNikki

Bored.


----------



## Tymes Rhymes

Indifferent


----------



## Citrine79

Feel like a meltdown is incoming.


----------



## caelle

Depressed. I think I slept badly and that usually makes me feel like garbage emotionally. I feel really worthless, dumb, and alone.


----------



## harrison

Considerably better than the quivering mess I'd turned into last night. Thank God.


----------



## firelight

Very lost.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling like a failure


----------



## Citrine79

Work is getting on my nerves again.


----------



## valina

Tired.


----------



## Crisigv

Not the best, not the worst. Have a small headache.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Stuffed up again.


----------



## Citrine79

Wallowing in self pity yet again.


----------



## Replicante

Decent


----------



## valina

OK (everytime I feel like this I'm scared something bad is going to happen)


----------



## Citrine79

Anxiety levels starting to creep up again.


----------



## CNikki

Like the 'high' of feeling that things are decent is coming to an end. Back to black for me, I guess.


----------



## Replicante

Tired


----------



## thomasjune

I've been feeling pretty good lately. My brother and a few family members are here visiting with us and I'm having a great time hanging out with them.


----------



## Replicante

A bit low


----------



## firelight

More disgusting and worthless than a maggot. At least they serve a purpose.


----------



## Citrine79

So annoyed and disgusted with a number of things right now. I can’t emphasize enough how miserable it is in the area where I live. Absolute freaking morons run things here and they continue to make life worse by the day. Jealous of the people who have left and moved to more friendly locales. I’d give anything to be able to do that myself.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I have been feeling weird for a couple of days. At first I was kinda worried because I woke up a few days ago feeling utterly drained and that's just not normal for me. I didn't have a fever or anything but I just couldn't shake that super drained feeling and finally just went back to bed. Next day, woke up and still felt super drained. Which worried me more because although I am low energy and get tired easily, it's not normal for me to feel that way for very long after sleeping. Now I'm finally back to normal.


----------



## andy1984

bored af. issues at work again, just been waiting here for two and a half hours.


----------



## CWe

Drained (emotionally)


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

Not great. Overdid it on the bike path today. I'm having trouble accepting that I'm not as fit as I was ten years ago, and when that stubbornness kicks in I refuse to stop when I should and then I run into trouble. I'll be ok. Just need a good night's sleep.


----------



## coeur_brise

Ouch, my arm.Overall, feeling like today started out great and then I stayed up so late. And now rethinking life and choices and words.


----------



## Citrine79

Hopeless and pretty down. Weather sucks again today and the gloomy, rainy days really get me down.


----------



## harrison

Wishing I could jump on a plane. It might be time to raise my medication.


----------



## 973639

content, I've found a tea blend I enjoy the most ^^


----------



## Citrine79

Bored as usual. Hopeless as usual. Nothing to do or look forward to as usual.


----------



## CNikki

Tired and generally feel like I'm done. I need a new change of pace.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Aggravated. Why don't these people just get the shower fixed? I dont ge how the middle knob is even broken. Guess I'll just have to clean the tub everytime before I take a shower just so I can take a bath. The timing seems too coincidental. This happens right when I'm looking for my own place and this has never happened before with the knob in theshower. I refuse to take a bath in someone else's tub unless I clean it myself. I'm not wasting mileage on my car to go out to the gym to shower everyday and I'm m not a fan of baths. 😒


----------



## Citrine79

Not good at the moment...anxious and feel like crying. So sad that I let things get this way.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Upset. My boss looked at me smiling the whole time when she told me I accidentally got paid extra then said that extra pay is getting taken off my paycheck. Almost as if she was being condescending when she smiled. At the very least I should be able to keep it for them making a mistake. It was 16 extra hours of pay the accidentally sent me.


----------



## Citrine79

Not good. I have had a noitce uptick in anxiety these last few days. Feeling it for sure.


----------



## thomasjune

I've been feeling pretty good lately. Hope it lasts for awhile longer.


----------



## Citrine79

Not feeling too good about things right now.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So I woke up to the man yelling at someone walking around the trailer park in the middle of the morning and it went on for like 10minutes. Then I hear him shooting a shotgun in the air.

Then I go to the bathroom around 7 in the morning to see a poop stain on the sink. It doesn't unintentionally get there. So someone obviously put it there on purpose. And didnt have the nerve to clean it up so I have to get that up myself, which I don't want to do at all. Just a few weeks ago there was a poop stain on the back of the toilet seat and someone just left it there. Didn't clean it up. Like are you ****ing serious? 😫 I had to clean it up with soap and toilet paper myself cause I didnt have anything else to use. Like are you serious? Seems like these people want to be passive aggressive because I plan on moving out. I havent had problems with these people for a long time and now this right when I'm looking for places? No sane person would just leave a poop stain anywhere and not clean it up let alone do it intentionally. 💀

This was a crummy morning and this is a bad year in general.


----------



## Citrine79

Super hopeless.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

My workplace did me dirty with my pay. I may be bad at math but even I can instantly tell they paid me 100 dollars extra on accident, not 180. My boss wouldnt listen to me when I told her 3 times. This should be illegal. I only get paid 165 this paycheck. Even after docking my pay it shouldnt be that low. Should be like 240 to 260. She even calculated what I normally make per week and subtracted how much they were supposed to take away which she claims is 180 dollars. If I got paid 461 and normally make 360 common sense says they took 100 of my pay. I feel like im cursed sometimes. I've never heard of such a thing but I guess companies can be this evil. This year sucks to the max.


----------



## InsideRoy

I need some fresh air rn.


----------



## Citrine79

Less than stellar. Having a bout of seasonal affective depression because this spring has been so terrible here and no break in this unseasonable cold is coming soon. Also, very tired of the constant stream of lies and gaslighting that is so prevalent in society today.


----------



## thomasjune

Still struggling with SA but my depression is pretty much gone for now. Now I'm just bored and tired of isolating myself.
I also miss some of my family.


----------



## Citrine79

Ok...any day I get to leave the house is a win for me.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Still devastated about that loss of money. That's **** pay for a manager. Now I have to find an easy way to gain that money back. 😢 I didnt deserve to lose a cent of my pay.


----------



## harrison

Knackered - a busy day at my wife's house for Mother's Day. I'm getting too old for all this drama thanks.


----------



## Citrine79

Meh....probably not going to be patient and in a good mood today...rather annoyed with things. But at least I get to leave the house again.


----------



## CNikki

Tired. Might call it an earlier night once I'm finished with my last exam.


----------



## Citrine79

Hopeless and even more cynical than ever. The doom and gloom never seems to end.


----------



## Dissonance

Stoic.


----------



## SunshineSam218

Right now I'm feeling very relaxed. Which is a lovely feeling!!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Have a headache cause coworkers wanted to get an attitude with me like seven ****ing times today.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

This paycheck was back to normal. Sounds about right. Was anxious to check my bank account.


----------



## Citrine79

Rather inadequate.


----------



## aqwsderf

Alone. Even though I have people...I still feel alone.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Annoyed that a coworker would call and lie saying my workplace wants me to come in on my day off. I was told he only says I should come in so he doesnt have to deal with closing down. Besides, he's not my damn boss and I was already told they're not supposed to call me on my off days anymore. So screw that. He sends me 2 phone calls and a voicemail. Hell no. Especially when he calls in sick like a few times a month. Just people trying to take advantage of me. I have a feeling this gossipy bully is going to be mean to me when I come back. Why isnt this considered harrassment? 2 phone calls and a voicemail and if I ignore him and dont come in I get treated like crap. In a better world, it wouldn't be like this. He's not a manager. What a major hypocrite.


----------



## Socialmisfits

I feel very down and out of depth


----------



## CNikki

Tired. Stayed up late and during what hours I had been able to sleep I lied awake for some time. Hope it doesn't look too obvious once I'm out.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

😞


----------



## harrison

Inspired. My wife would probably say slightly manic but that's beside the point.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So I got offered a weed vape and for some reason I took it. 😫 I didnt think it would do anything to me and was told it would do barely anything. It's like my brain decided for me before I even took the thing. So I was like okay then took it...I didn't like it at all and it made me feel weird, jittery, and fidgety. I started thinking negatively. Never again. People like me cant have this and it was just a weed vape from the store. 😨 That was not what I call fun.


----------



## Citrine79

Less than busy today...and as weird as it sounds, I am more uncomfortable and anxious when I am caught up with work than when I am busy. And Mondays drag to begin with.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel OK.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Fed up.


----------



## harrison

PurplePeopleEater said:


> So I got offered a weed vape and for some reason I took it. 😫 I didnt think it would do anything to me and was told it would do barely anything. It's like my brain decided for me before I even took the thing. So I was like okay then took it...I didn't like it at all and it made me feel weird, jittery, and fidgety. I started thinking negatively. Never again. People like me cant have this and it was just a weed vape from the store. 😨 That was not what I call fun.


Hope you're feeling better. I wouldn't want to use weed nowadays - I did when I was young though like everyone else. I've got enough problems as it is.


----------



## harrison

Slightly manic still from a coupe of days ago - my wife said she could hear it in my voice on the phone. She always knows. Terrible anxiety yesterday afternoon - like a wave coming over you. Increased my meds a bit so slept a bit better and can feel it. Still a bit wired though and jangly.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

harrison said:


> Hope you're feeling better. I wouldn't want to use weed nowadays - I did when I was young though like everyone else. I've got enough problems as it is.


Yea, I haven't smoked weed since 2017 and got offered a weed vape. I feel stupid for even taking it cause that's so unlike me. Then I was offered a second hit and I decided to take a huge hit and messed up doing that. 😒 Felt like a bad trip. I coughed hard after that. Surprisingly, I didnt feel down today after that bad trip I had. I think I have severe SA or something else going on that makes me react so badly to it. On a scale of 1 to 10, the effects and paranoia are a 10. lol No exaggeration.


----------



## harrison

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Yea, I haven't smoked weed since 2017 and got offered a weed vape. I feel stupid for even taking it cause that's so unlike me. Then I was offered a second hit and I decided to take a huge hit and messed up doing that. 😒 Felt like a bad trip. I coughed hard after that. Surprisingly, I didnt feel down today after that bad trip I had. I think I have severe SA or something else going on that makes me react so badly to it. On a scale of 1 to 10, the effects and paranoia are a 10. lol No exaggeration.


Yeah, I really don't think it agrees with some people - me included. Hope you feel better soon anyway.


----------



## Citrine79

Feeling like I am the odd one out...I have always kinda felt that through my school years and stuff but I feel it now more than ever. Also, feeling quite uneasy and uncomfortable because of work related issues and more.


----------



## coeur_brise

Offended. Someone I'm close to thinks I gave them covid. The tests results are negative. In the same thought, they are hypochondriac so.. I don't know what that says about future hangouts. Am I this disease vector? This careless, non-mask wearing plague pest? Oh no, I'm the complete opposite. Psychosomatic illness is real. But hypochondriacs will never admit it.


----------



## Snake Plant

Bored. And a little sad. 

I get a little overwhelmed some evenings. I never quite cry I well up a lot.


----------



## Citrine79

Not feeling too good about things right now. Incredibly uneasy feeling persists,


----------



## Black jesus

Equanimity.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and hopeless


----------



## Citrine79

Deep regrets....about a number of things. One in particular...has got me really down. Everything is better there and that is where I should be...if only I would have realized that long ago I might have had a chance. Don’t think I can do it now.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Anxious, depressed, & lonely


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Content.


Canadian Brotha said:


> Anxious, depressed, & lonely


Chin up my dude.


----------



## Citrine79

Rather hopeless.


----------



## CWe

Tired


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Full from dinner still.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## Crisigv

Heartbroken for my family. This is too much loss in such a short period of time.


----------



## Citrine79

Hopeless and pretty sad. Not feeling too good about things right now.


----------



## 8888

Lonely


----------



## zonebox

No more waking up at 5:45am thank the gads. Tonight, I will sip away at some rum, play video games, and listen to music. I will actually have sleep, instead of the quasi phasic nonsense I have been putting up with for the past 9 months - I just can't sleep at night. 

Outside of worrying about my youngest brother, I am feeling pretty good right now. He usually texts me or responds after a day or two, but he hasn't for a while. He is probably fine and probably lost or had his phone stolen again, it happens often to him. Usually after a few weeks, he gets another one creates a new facebook account and finds me. 

I've been thinking of moving over to telegraph, I don't like facebook. Even telegraph is so-so, I mean they could sell out whenever they want to. I think I might have a chance with that one, as my little brother might be more interested with the groups on there. I would rather be using matrix, but don't think most of my family would switch over even though I think it is the most secure out of the two of them.. that is going on another topic though.

But yeah, feeling pretty good. The next two and a half months are going to be relaxing.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad, for many reasons


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So I did a test online for autism and got 37 out of 50. I know it's not accurate but that's a pretty high score either way. It says I have significant autism. lol 😕


----------



## Skeletra

Not nearly as sleepy as I should be given that my alarm goes off in 6 hours, but at the same time I’m really really tired and awfully depressed.


----------



## CantGoOn

I have to wait until my mental breakdown expires. It will soon. I gotta tell myself not to worry because it will be over soon and I’ll get past this.


----------



## zonebox

Feeling relieved, my brother replied back to my message and he is alive and well. I kept worrying that I would need to drive up to NY, find where his tent is based upon what little he has told me - only to find him laying dead somewhere. I tell ya, it was starting to bother me.


----------



## Citrine79

I’m miserable as usual and the cold, rainy very unspringlike weather today is just making me feel worse,


----------



## thomasjune

Pretty good today. I get to relax and avoid coworkers for a few days. Not going to isolate myself though, I just get to pick and choose what to do with my time. Probably go to the beach with some family/friends. Not sure yet..


----------



## Crisigv

Like worthless trash


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Annoyed.


----------



## Dissonance

Paranoia, suspicion


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, now that I made this 







Messy, but so delicious.


----------



## caelle

I feel so sad and depressed. One of my dog daughters passed away kinda unexpectedly. She was old but I thought she had another year or two left. She died last night. I feel like part of me died with her. My life revolves around my babies and now I feel like that's not a good idea cause I feel so devastated. I guess I shouldn't get close to anything or anybody cause losing them is so hard


----------



## zonebox

@caelle I'm sorry  losing a pup is an incredibly hard ordeal to go through, they are just like family  I think the only fault I can find in dogs, in general, is that they do not live long enough.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So I'm gonna have a good day today but I'm still waiting for the rest of the week before I get back from work and I'll have a nice life deep down inside my vehicle and I'm not going anywhere since I have to get out and get a little more than a month's worth of high quality cash. 😒


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I have a headache so I took some Ibuprofen.


----------



## Citrine79

Less than stellar.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, albeit slightly caffeinated lol


----------



## Crisigv

I'd like to crawl into a hole and die, please.


----------



## zonebox

Feeling decent, I'm having a fun time adventuring through wow, drinking some beer and listening to WoW music. I was fishing earlier, which I enjoy doing for some reason in game.








​I'm loving it, off away from the mundane world in a place of adventure.


----------



## Greenmacaron

I feel like I'm trying to be happy and motivated, but inside I'm in turmoil over returning to work next week and doing remote exams while also second guessing whether it was a good idea to put myself out there and accept a social engagement.


----------



## copper

Crabby. Got family coming in a couple of weeks. Toilet upstairs decided to screw up. I hate doing plumbing. Since the shut off to it was screwed up I had the guy that install it look at it. Just needed a new fill valve. The shut off was fine when he checked it. Last year when I shut it off it wouldn't shut off completely so I had to shut it off in the basement so I could change the flush gasket. Then I had to spend time this afternoon unclogging the kitchen sink drain. I wish family would just go to a hotel. Then there is dealing with idiots at work. Trying to get a supervisor schedule for her staff to bring down this one consumer we deal with for a face to face since the Executive Director ordered we start doing this after a year not doing it due to COVID. I already scheduled the board room since my supervisor said that this supervisor said anytime would work. Now she is saying it might not work. I like to tell this consumer this is going to happen at least tomorrow.


----------



## PenguinWings

rainy


----------



## Citrine79

Unmotivated and feeling rather bleak about things.


----------



## riverbird

Blah. My mental health has been absolute garbage recently. It’s worse during the day for some reason.


----------



## Citrine79

Citrine79 said:


> Unmotivated and feeling rather bleak about things.


^ Still this. Also now have a growing amount of anger and bitterness toward many people and many things. I am so miserable and unhappy right now.


----------



## CantGoOn

I gotta start this sh all over again. This adulting stuff didn’t really work out for me. Devastated. Hopeless. Crushed.

Angry with nothing to lose.


----------



## Citrine79

Terrible. Absolutely terrible. My therapist always tells me I can contact his office between appointments if I needed to. Actually considering it as I can hardly function these past few days.


----------



## yume

Mostly tired, wishing weekend would come sooner


----------



## heyJude

Sad. 😞 I know why and I’m trying to distract myself but I can’t seem to shake the feeling.


----------



## Replicante

My father got covid. He spent about 20 days feeling the symptoms. We also had to go to a hospital inside an ambulance because he felt shortness of breath. He spent about 8 hours in observation taking oxygen and responded well to it. Then we came back home for him to keep recovering with rest and medication. Thank goodness he is fine now. It was a difficult month for us. I feel peaceful now.


----------



## CantGoOn

Disappointment and relief knowing I’ll be moving back in with my family soon. Relief at taking away this financial stress. Disappointment at everything else. Maybe my aunt will let me live with her instead. It was really nice and amazing while it lasted. It’s time to change fields and get a name change.


----------



## thomasjune

Angry and feel like I'm going to lose my mind. I'm so sick of people. I need to start isolating myself more often like I used to before I do something stupid. I hate this ****ing world.


----------



## Dissonance

I just repeatedly do not have the will power to bother to tell people to go **** themselves. I rather avoid a **** show but it always leaves me with all the pent up anger.


----------



## Whatswhat

[duplicate]


----------



## Whatswhat

CantGoOn said:


> Disappointment and relief knowing I’ll be moving back in with my family soon. Relief at taking away this financial stress. Disappointment at everything else. Maybe my aunt will let me live with her instead. It was really nice and amazing while it lasted. It’s time to change fields and get a name change.


I don’t know your situation but are you moving back with family because living alone is overwhelming? I’m thinking of doing the same...


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling good. My arms are jelly from my first resistance band arm workout. I've been consistently working out for the past week and a half, obviously not long, but I'm actually enjoying it. I'm proud of myself.


----------



## Dissonance

At least better then yesterday


----------



## Einstein's ghost.

😎👍


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling pretty hyped right now


----------



## Citrine79

Meh...pretty wiped out from a two day migraine episode.


----------



## harrison

Like I've been hit by a truck. I took so much Valium yesterday just to get to the dentist it was unbelievable. God Almighty.


----------



## caelle

I'm proud of myself for getting the first covid shot. The only symptoms I had were sore and swollen arm where I was shot. Hopefully the second will go as smoothly.


----------



## Citrine79

Annoyed and kind of cranky but I am at least semi-functional. Been a long week though.


----------



## Dissonance

I feel sick


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling pretty depressed. I'm glad I have the soccer game to distract me for a couple hours.


----------



## Zatch

Excited. Have orientation for a possible new job next week, after spending about two months unemployed. Was falling into old unhealthy habits that come with growing lazy.

Let's go!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired


----------



## thomasjune

Relaxed at the moment.


----------



## Greenmacaron

I'm feeling surprisingly hopeful and optimistic today. Sun is shining and I think this might be a good day 😊🌝🌞


----------



## harrison

Bit better I think. Thank Christ for that.


----------



## Citrine79

Any day I get to leave the house at least makes me feel a bit better. Also, feel a sense of relief after speaking with my therapist the other day and being able to vent on some things that were really bothering me.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Canadian Brotha said:


> Tired


Same here.


----------



## Citrine79

So I did leave the house for a bit today to go out to eat but it wasn’t great. Didn’t particularly enjoy my meal and drove by the park near my house which was full of people playing sports, walking, having a party or just enjoying the company of family and friends on a nice day. Made me feel envious and even more lonely.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Not bad.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I have to get up at 6 am for work tomorrow. Lol Dont usually have to do that but at least I'll knock this out of the way. Today went mostly smoothly so I'm feeling alright.


----------



## Citrine79

New week...same old issues persist. I am at least semi motivated to start the day though. Probably won’t last but I try to do as much as I can because once I “lose” it, I am good for nothing.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, albeit a little sneezy.


----------



## Ai

Fat


----------



## Citrine79

Less than stellar...another long, miserable week. Unhappy about some recent news and the impact it may have on me.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Ugh, super loud beeping noise went off at work today. Thought it was like a drill or something but it wasn't. That noise is enough to almost make you go deaf. Lol


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Didn't sleep good last night. Going to try to catch some sleep. 😴


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lazy/tired


----------



## Greenmacaron

I'm feeling a bit down because the weather is miserable and I have this feeling of being slightly anxious but I can't pinpoint what it's about. 

I'm not expecting to go anywhere today so it's not anxiety of the social kind...


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Better than I was. I have come to the conclusion that I just can't live without daily exercise. Which probably sounds like common sense but I mean I think that even when they get older, some people can get by without actual exercise. My brain just doesn't work right if I don't exercise. I start getting super foggy and living in a haze. Which I mean, it's semi-normal for me to be scatterbrained but if I spend too much time not working out I'll get to the point to where I take my meds and can't remember if I took them or not 40 seconds later. It's unbelievable. More than once I have had to check to see if I took them or not 3 times in the space of 15 minutes. 

But I have to cut back on metformin when I exercise too or else I get hypoglycemia and that is super unpleasant.


----------



## Citrine79

Growing more uneasy about things yet again…especially in regards to work. Things are really up in the air right now and no one seems to be offering any sort of guidance or direction.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

It's hot. Thank goodness for ACs.


----------



## Citrine79

Sad and anxious. I am quickly reaching my breaking point and feeling like a meltdown could come at any time.


----------



## caelle

I can't tell if my stomach pain is from it being upset due to what I ate the other day, or if I'm really hungry. I've been afraid to eat much because I was having major tummy problems. I really might have IBS or something. I tried to eat healthy and I fried up some onion, garlic, and cabbage and I thought I would have to go to hospital. I'm dramatic sure but I was in a lot of pain.


----------



## Lauralyn

I feel depressed. I'm currently living in a facility for mentally I'll people. Its like a nursing home. On Monday they're finally letting us go outside, we've been locked up in our rooms since the pandemic not allowed to go outside. I feel old and like I should be having kids or something since I'm 33 almost in 3 months. I'm at age where I don't have much time left for that and I'm also too sick to care of a kid since I've had psychosis. Really I never wanted kids, just wanted time for hobbies, but after seeing my sisters with theirs Im feeling a little different. I feel bad about my appearance. I got fat from medication and my teeth have gotten really bad in the last few years. Its hard to get the facility to send me to a dentist too. I wish I had an appropriate hobby for my age that I could enjoy or I wish there were more people my age like me. I don't know what to do to kill time. Ive been watching this Chinese show, its 70 episodes and all of a sudden I feel too depressed to watch it. I wish I enjoyed American TV more or socializing offline more.


----------



## Citrine79

So uncertain about things. And lacking any sort of support or guidance.


----------



## Dissonance

I look at society and look at all these childish behaviors and ideals and watch them cry when their ideals are not reality. Welcome to the real world mofo.


----------



## Einstein's ghost.

Feline fine 🐱


----------



## Citrine79

My mental health is basically hanging on by a thread. I am so sad and hopeless right now.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Better after a short nap. I needed one today.


----------



## Citrine79

Just going through the motions at this point. Don’t care about my job or really anything right now. Beyond sad.


----------



## Greenmacaron

I'm feeling a mixture of inspired to change my life and discouraged because I don't know where to start and it seems like an insurmountable challenge


----------



## harrison

Almost clear-headed because I stopped my meds again. I couldn't stand the dizziness anymore. I wonder when the mania will start.


----------



## Lauralyn

Scared, I don't want to gain any more weight.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I have to make a 1k down payment on this trailer I'm getting but I'm not going to hesitate at all. Then I pay 250 monthly after that. Thats a good deal. The man moving out is getting a camper to live in. Can't beat that, though. I might be able to get it by July 3 cause that's when he's moving into a camper. Only thing is I wonder why he's moving into a camper. And he just got a new patio built a few months ago at the place but I guess he'll still let me have it.


----------



## Citrine79

Despondent. My situtation is hopeless.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I read a lot of stupid **** again so very angry (what else is new lol?) and hadn't eaten for a bit, but I'm about to eat so that should help a bit.


----------



## Citrine79

Sundays usually make me sad. Plus it is already hot and humid today. And I didn’t get much sleep. And my ear is messed up again.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A little moody today. I should feel better soon, once my Zoom meeting starts in an hour.


----------



## Greenmacaron

I'm hopeful that things are looking up.. 👌


----------



## Citrine79

Annoyed! Really annoyed…and frustrated also. Partly due to my job but for a number of other reasons as well.


----------



## Fun Spirit

I feel a little sad. I don't know how to feel. Too many things to say. I try hard with my art and yet it isn't getting any attention, and some other things on my mind. Just sad.


----------



## SplendidBob

Not the best.
Since I have posted here a lot has changed, in a relationship with an amazing woman. Have a job.

But the job is such bad pay, and I literally can't make conversation with people. Can't handle the office seating where you just find a random place, it's really social, and my job is talking to people, which I haven't even started yet. I seem to have wandered into a social anxiety nightmare. It's a peer support worker job, where you need to have experience of mental health problems, except for social anxiety it would seem, as that's forbidden because everyone needs good communication skills.

Literally, everything atm is setting me off, and I'm just shadowing random members of the team, except I can't because even that is a S.A. nightmare. It's kinda humiliating and frustrating.


----------



## Sainnot

I feel like I’m on edge, like everyone around me is such a nuisance to me. I hate their presence and every noise upsets me. I also hate how weak I act... why do I suddenly need someone else in my life to rely on? What happened? I guess I lost faith in my own ability to survive on my own. I guess it’s also because I’m becoming more jealous of all these happy people my age who spend time with their friends and are in love.

I need to get back to my self-centered self. Truly shut out the world


----------



## Skeletra

I am so bummed out right now. All my art supplies are boxed away so I don’t quite know how to handle this.. this is not a god day


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I was parched earlier but that drink I just had quenched my thirst. Felt so good. 😌


----------



## Replicante

Cold 🤧🤒


----------



## Euripides

So. This place sure has changed since last I posted.
Anyway.

In a seemingly unstoppable 'death roll' of anxiety and panic attacks.

Starting a factory job Monday I've really been pushed and rushed into.
Pressure.


----------



## Crisigv

It's hard to stay positive when the world thinks you're worthless. Nothing like being insulted while trying to exercise.


----------



## Lauralyn

Sad, helpless, hopeless,


----------



## Citrine79

Eh, better than I usually am I Sundays I guess since I have the upcoming week off. But feeling more apphrension than anticipation as I am heading out of town for a few days. Going to one of my favorites places but still have so much anxiety going on right now…not sure how I will handle it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Wow, the shower finally got fixed. Took almost 3 months. Thats a relief to have it working now.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Wow, the shower finally got fixed. Took almost 3 months. Thats a relief to have it working now.


So now that the shower is fixed, the washing machine somehow is broken? 🤦‍♀️ What in the world?


----------



## Lauralyn

I started feeling depressed again whenever whoever has remote access to my phone came back. Sometimes I feel good or OK other times not really. I wish I wasn't so dependent on the internet so I could get away from it. I don't know how much of it is my psychosis but I know I'm not thinking everyone is involved in it like staff. I try to be a responsible person so it would nice to know how much of it is me and how much is someone doing something to make it worse. Like i dont know how crazy i am. How much of it is the supplement i took. Or I can't tell what the difference is. Also it sucks to be dealing with these two things alone and it justs feels really lonely because thinking hackers are watching you is something someone psychotic would think that's not true and both my mom and sister said I needed to be in a hospital. because I thought there were hidden cameras in our trailer. So I look a lot farther gone then I actually am. I guess I had some kind of psychosis where I wanted to hurt people too and what the hacker was doing was causing me to be dangerous. Really scary stuff to lose your mind and have someone want to make it worse.


----------



## zonebox

Moderately intoxicated for the moment  

Edit:
Yay, no hangover


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Ugh, it's hot at the laundromat. But at least I can get rid of some change.


----------



## zonebox

Feeling good, I mowed the lawn a few hours ago .. I mowed it last Sunday, and it didn't take it long to grow to jungle like status though, only a week and it was about a foot in height in some places. It was hot and humid out though, but I wanted to get it done before the tropical storm hit us tomorrow. I noticed while I was out my neighbors on both sides were likewise getting their lawns done. Hopefully the wind will not be too bad, the last remain portions of our termite infested wooden fence will probably go flying if it is. We had put in a down payment for a vinyl fence to replace it, but that will not happen for another 6 weeks or so and they are supposed to take the old wooden fence with them. 

But yeah, it has been a pretty good day.


----------



## Dissonance

It's been a while, perhaps 2 years since I last cared about anything.


----------



## valina

Headaches all day


----------



## Greenmacaron

Bloated and tired.. I overdid it on the pasta 🥴


----------



## Crisigv

Not good. I'm having those 2nd dose reactions. I don't forsee myself sleeping much tonight.


----------



## Lauralyn

Kind of lonely and sad. I got a warning for talking about some sexual stuff that has to do with my hacking situation so feeling kinda bad about it. Part of me wants to let it all out like I did but you can't really talk about that kind of sexual stuff with people in real life and the internet has its rules too I guess. I don't like talking about sexual stuff with people either but its stuff I'm going through that I need support for too but getting it is impossible.


----------



## copper

Sinuses are bothering me. Congestion keeps waking me up at night which makes me extremely fatigued during the day. This happens after running the AC for a few days.


----------



## valina

Very sad.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Glad I got to see my mother today. Haven't seen her since my birthday.


----------



## coeur_brise

I had a good drive today. Elated even. granted, there were zero cars on the road for maybe 8 minutes of it but glad nonetheless. it makes me hopeful for more good drives.


----------



## PandaBearx

Infatuations suck. Being around them less certainly helps a little in letting go and moving forward. Wish I didn't feel the way I do though.


----------



## Citrine79

Feeling quite down as per usual on a Sunday. Moreso because I am coming off of vacation and know I am going to have to deal with all kinds of work issues. It is gloomy and supposed to rain all day also and things continue to get more hopeless.


----------



## Starcut83

Woke up feeling groggy from going to bed so late and waking up as early as I usually do. Now I feel pretty good after some coffee. Long day ahead of me, not much to do today. But it wasn't long ago I had nothing to do with others besides talk on the phone. At least now when I'm alone I don't feel lonely. I do enjoy my alone time as long as it's balanced out with meaningful (to me) socialization with people I feel a connection to. I'm picky with the people I let into my circle, perfectly friendly if I'm not feeling it but I won't let anyone in beyond superficial levels if we don't click.


----------



## Replicante

I wanna be sedated


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Well, I'm feeling down right now. Don't think it's going to go away for awhile.


----------



## Socialmisfits

I feel pretty down. I hope to change my life one day. This can’t be it, right?
Maybe tomorrow will be better


----------



## Greenmacaron

I feel anxious about embarrassing myself this Wednesday. I know I'm just going to feel worse until it's over. Then when it's over I know I will be replaying everything and torturing myself some more. So anxious... 😟


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm going to enjoy my vacation as much as I can. Wish I could stay up 24/7 for 7 days. But of course, I'm not going to do that.


----------



## Mousey9

Pretty sad almost daily for the past week. Literally the only person i talk to stopped talking to me cause she’s going through a really rough patch and always isolates herself to not ruin the moods of other. I get it, I do the same all the time. Just wish she knew that I never feel like she’s a burden.


----------



## Sainnot

Idk how the fk I’m supposed to make any progress in my social life. I also don’t know how th fk I’m supposed to find anyone that I actually like. I doubt there’s a single person out there I like I fkin hate everyone. Shouldn’t have even been born


----------



## Socialmisfits

Sainnot said:


> Idk how the fk I’m supposed to make any progress in my social life. I also don’t know how th fk I’m supposed to find anyone that I actually like. I doubt there’s a single person out there I like I fkin hate everyone. Shouldn’t have even been born


Don’t let it get you down, if you drop dead today you might have missed out on some great people along the way 🤗


----------



## Zatch

Blessed. My emotional resilience and how I know to deal with them has gotten so good over the last several months. Even if I have to confront and endure pain.


----------



## copper

Smoke from Canada is aggravating my sinuses.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm parched. Getting something to drink. 😛


----------



## harrison

More settled than yesterday thank God. This medication does actually work - I should probably listen to my wife and just keep taking it. God I'm a dickhead.


----------



## Citrine79

Hopeless and super unmotivated…especially toward my job. Really disgusted by so much as well.


----------



## PandaBearx

Unsettled.


----------



## coeur_brise

I don't know why but I'm feeling good for once. It might not last, we'll see but in this moment, things are OK👌


----------



## Citrine79

Lackluster and unmotivated.


----------



## PandaBearx

Depressed. I've been finding myself wanting to isolate a little bit more... I cried on my way home from work. Plus my appetite is kinda shot. I ate an orange this morning and forced myself to eat a plain veggie burger (no bun). I think I just need to recoup. This morning I thought I felt fine but it kinda teetered out towards the end of the day. Now all I want to do is lie down.


----------



## Crisigv

very down


----------



## thomasjune

Pretty good. Trying not to dwell on dumb stuff that don't really matter and moving on with life.


----------



## harrison

Slightly agitated.


----------



## Citrine79

Uneasy…lots of weird stuff seems to be happening all over the place. Also, kind of jealous. Lots of people seem to be on lavish vacations/holidays enjoying the beach and the outdoors and each other company. I had a brief visit to another state recently but it was hardly a “vacation” and I was too anxious much of the time to enjoy it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I was playing music on my boombox and then my earphones came out of my boombox and it was loud. 🤦‍♀️ lol Damn.


----------



## Socialmisfits

Disappointed in myself, so little resilience lately


----------



## hateliving

****ing pissed and depressed


----------



## Starcut83

Just lost someone I'd considered a friend for about two years now. They had to leave and had no chance to say goodbye either. No way to contact them, I found out from someone else that they had left for good. It's hard to process. I feel some abandonment issues but not too bad but I think I'm freaking grieving which I just realized...I've just never grieved over such an unexpected loss. They tell you to remember the good times, but I'm not there yet.

You don't know what you have till it's gone is too true.


----------



## Crisigv

Hopeless


----------



## shyshisho

Anxious! Starting a new job Monday.


----------



## Lauralyn

I've been feeling higher levels of depression ever since hackers started trying to communicate with me again.

My normal state is being a loner and being fine with it but lately I feel I need help or emotional support from other people.

Also it is worse because I'm up all night which is more depressing than being up during the day when there are people and distractions. I've been having circadian rhythm issues for years that can back months ago. Some kind of residual brain damage left over from what ever was going on with me from 4/5 years ago.


----------



## Lauralyn

I've been feeling higher levels of depression ever since hackers started trying to communicate with me again.

My normal state is being a loner and being fine with it but lately I feel need help or emotional support from other people.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Issa hot one today. 🥵 lol


----------



## Starcut83

Feeling much better today. Wasn't sure how long it would take me to work through the grief. I was actually a little concerned at one point as it brought up things from my past but it was an opportunity to work on those as well. Took a couple of days but I think I've finally reached acceptance, even if it hurts a little still to think of it I don't feel weighed down by it and am able to enjoy things again.


----------



## Lauralyn

Crappy I had a bad dream last night that maybe reflects my mental state. Then stuff today is making me emo too. Also someone stole money out of my wallet again. I missed meals today so I went to go buy food. When I went to the cashier I have no money in my wallet.

I feel like I'm getting fear of sleep again while I can't really sleep either way.


----------



## harrison

I feel like I need to call my wife. (as usual) A bit elevated, almost a physical sensation in my chest and inside my head. Yesterday when I talked to her she could tell and just said I think you need to calm down mister.

I should probably go for a walk and try to avoid engaging in conversation with anyone because it will just get me more worked up.


----------



## copper

I don't want to go to Houghton to attend a meeting today. Stupid construction on the lift bridge and it lifting to let the stupid idiot sailboats through backing up traffic for miles. I will have to leave at 1 pm to make sure I am there at 3 pm because last time it took me two hours to get across. I wish they would build a span bridge across the waterway.


----------



## Citrine79

Bored and lackluster. Not feeling my work at all today. I’d rather be swamped with work than caught up. Days with little work coming in that I have to drag out for the whole day go on and on. This week has been like that. Plus, our string of crappy summer weather continues. And the constant “doom and gloom” (seemingly everywhere) has returned in full force.


----------



## Starcut83

Too much caffeine...


----------



## Sainnot

I want to SCREAM.

So tired of being around my coworkere They’re so noises that I can’t even read a book.

I just want to YELL and be alone.


----------



## PandaBearx

Scared of how empty I feel...I feel like I'm struggling to see things clearly. Or maybe I am seeing things clearly. It hurts though.


----------



## Crisigv

Horrible. It's like nothing ever mattered.


----------



## coeur_brise

Couldnt be happier that its the weekend yay


----------



## Shiny-appocalypse-cookies

Considerably less insane ... clean living for the win


----------



## Greenmacaron

I'm in my loungewear watching food videos on YouTube.. I'm bored and being unproductive, yet there's a spark of hope that I just need to add fuel to so I can get going.. I feel like I want to plan something amazing but it could just be the booze talking..


----------



## Citrine79

Meh…any day I get to leave the house makes me feel a bit better at least. But it is another crappy, rainy cool day (this summer has been trash so far). Work continues to be a trainwreck and not looking forward to dealing with the ongoing issues that are getting worse.


----------



## Lauralyn

Better but I've been smoking again to deal with stress. I'm also hungry. Ate all my meals and snacks except some rice and still...


----------



## Fun Spirit

I'm OK.


----------



## Starcut83

Feeling good. I see my therapist today and that's always nice.


----------



## Sainnot

I feel terrible. I feel better after I exercise but a while later I feel terrible again. The difference now is that I’m basically hopeless. I’m out of viable ideas. I hope I can just accept my hopelessness instead of fighting it like I am.


----------



## Replicante

a bit depressed


----------



## copper

Crabby due to everyone else is crabby. I am glad I wasn't in my office when this one staff came ranting and raving. The woman I share the office told him that I and the Supervisor were in the boardroom and he could talk with us. But he kept running his mouth not listening. Then I just got off the phone with a client ranting and raving. It must be the day for that.


----------



## Citrine79

Not great. Really tense and uneasy about things right now. I feel like I am on the verge of a meltdown and saying things I probably will regret. I am getting more and more worried I will be forced into doing something I do not want to do.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad


----------



## Citrine79

Hopeless and completely disinterested in work. Still have an ominous feeling about things.


----------



## Starcut83

Crazy vivid dreams kept waking me up last night, I feel like I lack the mental energy today that I usually have.


----------



## Sainnot

I’m extremely mad right now so sick of loser drug addicts ****ting up my city. **** off to Canada


----------



## Lauralyn

Kinda depressed, been in bed for a day and a half sleeping a lot or just being tired besides the short time I got up last night.


----------



## PandaBearx

Not great. In all honesty kind of want a drink but I know the crash after will leave me feeling even worse, so it's not even worth it. Instead I'll stick with coffee...and spaghetti that I'm making. I feel like I'm just struggling with all aspects of my life at the moment. So it really feels like a massive crash. Like last week I felt like 'what's the point' to a greater & scary degree whereas now I just feel like a numbed out zombie on autopilot. Which isn't great as I'm not being as productive as I usually am and kind of avoiding everything. I'm questioning my current job, the academic direction I want to go, relationships, my sexuality (or rather coming out), my thought process. Just everything and it's overwhelming. I don't even know where to begin to work towards feeling "okay" again...I guess coffee and pasta is a start.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So I saw that guy again when I went to the store. He seemed confused again like he did the first time. He was smiling and all so he must be really friendly but he seems to get confused a lot like me but in a different way. Lol...I still don't know if he has anxiety or if he's autistic or what. It's hard to tell.


----------



## alwaysrunning

Upset, frustrated. I will write this here so it gets burried under all the other things people write. I need supplies to do my job. I messaged the person who orders stuff on Friday and they have not replied at all and they have been in work since ai messaged them so it's not like they're on holiday. Things have just gone wrong here. They sat things are supposed to get easier with social anxiety the longer you stay somewhere but it doesn't. I've been here 8 years. I hate messaging to tell them we are running low on stock and need to order stuff . Sometimes I think I will buy the stuff myself and bring it in so I don't have to ask for it. I also think they think I am stealing if I need to order more stuff quickly. I know this should probably go in the work place section but I feel it will stand out too much there as not many people post there as much as here. I prefer that this just gets burried under other people's posts.


----------



## Lauralyn

I guess they say if you don't enjoy things you used to enjoy that's depression, also I'm PMSimg on top of that and feeling bad because of that too. 4 years ago I'm feeling depression in some brain damaged sort of way. Really everything I'm experiencing feels like I'm feeling in some brain damaged sort of way love, sleep, depression, anger. My dopamine levels feel extremely low and my brain is overreacting to things. I remember even saying the colors of this website the dull blue and gray were causing my brain to react it to it depressingly. Its extremely sensitive. Anyway something distinctive about that was I was feeling like it wasn't just something I was experiencing in the moment, I had this feeling like I've always been like this and always will be. Also before saying " its temporary and things will get better" seemed to help then all of a sudden it doesn't. I think I still go through that a little even though I'm experiencing depression in a normal way and not feeling like I have these huge hormonal and chemical balances and feeling like I'm the only person in the world who's ever experienced depression in this way.

I used to be able to fight things or think of solutions then all of a sudden my brain disease is so bad I can't just like go and meditate things away or whatever else worked before. Like all of a sudden everything I've done to improve doesn't work.


----------



## harrison

I was perfectly calm this morning and now I'm a bit manic. Just from talking to a few people on the phone - it's incredible. 

I need to do that meditation exercise from Youtube.


----------



## CNikki

A little nervous and emotional. I know that in the end that I need a new chapter in my life.


----------



## Citrine79

Melancholy. And hopeless. And really frustrated with work again.


----------



## Sainnot

Bad... i just am tired of being by myself all the time. And now I have to endure work for 8 hours too.


----------



## Starcut83

I was in a group of 6 people including myself yesterday and this girl I don't know just put me on the spot and asked "What happened to your face?" referring to my acne scar on my right cheek. To be honest it's been years since it bothered me but when she said it memories came flooding back from times I thought I had moved on from. I haven't met someone so...insensitive, unaware, inconsiderate...that's me putting it kindly and refraining from what I would actually like to say...she pointed it out like it was some huge deformity...I still feel fine about the scars, I know I am not bad looking by any means despite the scars...but the memories of the past have brought up anger and depression...I know I'll pull through though.

This girl is a very unhealthy person, so I don't take it personally, but despite that, it hurt even though I didn't show it on the outside. I plan on...not avoiding her, but also not engaging with her anymore unless I have to. From my observation of her in the group talking she's self-centered, attention-seeking, and has a victim mindset. It was all about her.


----------



## copper

Starcut83 said:


> I was in a group of 6 people including myself yesterday and this girl I don't know just put me on the spot and asked "What happened to your face?" referring to my acne scar on my right cheek. To be honest it's been years since it bothered me but when she said it memories came flooding back from times I thought I had moved on from. I haven't met someone so...insensitive, unaware, inconsiderate...that's me putting it kindly and refraining from what I would actually like to say...she pointed it out like it was some huge deformity...I still feel fine about the scars, I know I am not bad looking by any means despite the scars...but the memories of the past have brought up anger and depression...I know I'll pull through though.
> 
> This girl is a very unhealthy person, so I don't take it personally, but despite that, it hurt even though I didn't show it on the outside. I plan on...not avoiding her, but also not engaging with her anymore unless I have to. From my observation of her in the group talking she's self-centered, attention-seeking, and has a victim mindset. It was all about her.


Should of told her it was from a knife wound when you fighting in the street. 😂


----------



## Starcut83

Feeling much better now. Today ended up being a good day.


----------



## Socialmisfits

@Starcut83 hey I often wonder myself how to politely ask stuff like that girl asked you? How should she have asked the question, or should she not have asked anything at all?
I know for sure in the last I have been inconsiderate myself in such situations because I like to be straightforward but I do not try to be rude of course.

I have scars myself on my body due to medication but I personally don’t really care if anyone asks questions of it.


----------



## Starcut83

Socialmisfits said:


> @Starcut83 hey I often wonder myself how to politely ask stuff like that girl asked you? How should she have asked the question, or should she not have asked anything at all?
> I know for sure in the last I have been inconsiderate myself in such situations because I like to be straightforward but I do not try to be rude of course.
> 
> I have scars myself on my body due to medication but I personally don’t really care if anyone asks questions of it.


I find it's generally best not to ask unless you know the person a bit. If you do ask, just don't put them on the spot in front of a group of people. If she had asked me in private I wouldn't of minded as much. Just be aware you never know what kind of memories you may bring up for the person.

Also, if you do, find a more considerate way than "What happened to your face?"  Maybe ask if they mind if you ask them a personal question first and take into consideration that tone goes a long way.


----------



## christacat

bored and lonely


----------



## Citrine79

Uneasy about work and plenty of other things. Plus, I am going stir crazy and sick of being stuck in my bedroom. I really need to get out of the house for from fresh air and a trip to the store but asking for a ride to the store, which is like 5 minutes away, is not always an easy task.


----------



## Crisigv

Depressed


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like ****


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like ****


----------



## Citrine79

So-so. At least I get to leave the house today but still not feeling great about things overrall. Plus, it is monthly time and already feeling the effects.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, if a bit stuffed up.


----------



## MCHB

Contemplative...Reflective!


----------



## Starcut83

Didn't sleep much more than 4 1/2 hours but I feel good.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, having fun in the virtual worlds and all of that good stuffs. Also mowed the lawn today, and the house is clean so I have the rest of the day to do whatever I want.


----------



## CWe

Irritated and frustrated


----------



## Citrine79

Super frustrated and still not feeling good about things right now. Also, oppressively humid and uncomfortable here today and that makes my mood even worse.


----------



## Crisigv

Not great


----------



## Lauralyn

I get emotional and I can feel it in my limbs.


----------



## firelight

Unnatural, stunted, repulsive.


----------



## Citrine79

Lackluster and unmotivated. Gonna be a long day, I can feel it already.


----------



## Crisigv

Really lonely


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So I got very bad news today and I'm not sure how to feel about it right now. It's a lot for me to take in but I have the money so I guess I should be glad about it. :/ 

Maybe I'm being a bit overdramatic. But not really.


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy. I wish someone wanted me around.


----------



## harrison

Like I'd like to break something.


----------



## Citrine79

Miserable as usual.


----------



## shyshisho

More and more astounded at some of the bad life decisions I’ve made over the years. What was I thinking?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Parched. I want to drink a whole gallon of orange juice right now. I just get something else. Lol


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted & depressed


----------



## Citrine79

Lonely, sad and more hopeless than ever.


----------



## Lauralyn

I feel like this empty feeling in my head like there was something in there that was good and now it just ran out of whatever it was like the water got shut off or something I'm tired and I also don't feel like I'm feeling fatigue in a normal way


----------



## Pechorin

My neck is sore, probably from the way I was lying last night. 

Mentally, doing okay. Kind of sad the summer is slipping away, but it slips back to you eventually.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Just a bit overwhelmed. Went to a car dealership and couldn't really find anything in my price range. But I'll think about it within a month. :/ I'd like to get a new car since apparently it's generally cheaper than used. If I'm not worried about my own place, it's a car I have to worry about. FML.

I'll just walk everywhere from now on.


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling ever so slightly inebriated, a welcome relief from the troubles of the day. Currently, I am enjoying playing ffxiv, and levelling my character. I've decided to turn off the news, and instead focus on entertainment.. the problem with the news is that I feel powerless to change anything. I might be more informed, but outside of a few changes I can make for myself, that information does little to nothing other than make me feel miserable. 

At least in a game, I can make changes 🙃

But, my lights are flickering.. so I imagine the Internet will be going down shortly.. just lovely. I might get to light a few candles later on and watch a few DVDs from a laptop, and that is always fun. No AC is not fun though, but at least it is cooler out at night.


----------



## Citrine79

Bored and lonely. Weekends might be more depressing than work days at this point.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm feeling proud of myself for getting a new car. Well, it's new to me. The car salesman wasn't pushy like a lot of them are that I hear about. The ratings were good with the 4.8 rating altogether. And he was pretty honest with me. At least he was younger so it made me feel more comfortable that I wouldnt get ripped off. And it's a newer car than my last one so I got an upgrade. A 2015 Honda Civic. And the color is titanium, which is interesting. It was in the price range I wanted to pay for it for the down payment. I reslly didn't want to give up my 2012 Nissan Versa. 😩 But it was time for a new one I suppose.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

@PurplePeopleEater 

The Honda Civic is supposed to be a great car so you probably did about as well as you could under the circumstances with a used car.


----------



## zonebox

@PurplePeopleEater They are great cars, I owned a 1984 civic that ran well until I gave it to a friend and he decided to use it in the sandpit. Later I was given a '93 that lasted a long time. For a while, a lot of people liked to modify them to make them into street racers, you'll find all sorts of mods people have done to them.


----------



## Citrine79

Awful. Just awful.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

zonebox said:


> @PurplePeopleEater They are great cars, I owned a 1984 civic that ran well until I gave it to a friend and he decided to use it in the sandpit. Later I was given a '93 that lasted a long time. For a while, a lot of people liked to modify them to make them into street racers, you'll find all sorts of mods people have done to them.


Yea, if you can afford to take care of them it'll last a long time I bet. They are pretty great from what I hear about them. I had to Google the 1984 and 1993 ones cause I'm not the best with cars. I recognized those instantly. My grandfather had a baby blue 1984 Honda Civic. I remember him driving it when I was a kid. So thats kind of ironic that he had an older version of mine. Lol


----------



## AffinityWing

Sleepy and bored


----------



## Citrine79

New week…same old feeling of hopeless and despair.


----------



## donistired

Well, I am not feeling much at all lately. Woo hoo! I'm a joke and life's a party. At this point I'm pretty much a barely sentient partly lobotomized robot cyborg with at least half of a brain. Need a new brain. I'm a not very proudly unproductive member of society, who walked out on his job, lost his mind, and lost his religion and is still struggling to cope with the absurdity of existence. God bless capitalism and "God bless America." I want to be hermit because no one pays me enough for this ****.


----------



## zonebox

A little depressed, my father is going to need a triple bypass surgery. It came as a surprise to all of us, but apparently it is what is needed, thankfully his heart has not been damaged, and this is somehow considered an elective surgery.


----------



## Citrine79

Less than stellar.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Really hot. Having to get another ride back from the car place to get my new car clean so I can get other things done. In a car with no AC and it's only after 9 in the morning. Face is sweating already. 🥵 lol


----------



## Citrine79

Uneasy and anxious.


----------



## Kevin001

Nose acting up meh


----------



## snow_drop

Ugly and stupid.


----------



## Citrine79

Hopeless. Extremely hopeless.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, if a little tired from my work shift this afternoon at the thrift store. Time for some relaxation tonight.


----------



## zonebox

Not nearly as anxious as I should be feeling at the moment, but that is likely due to liquid courage. I'm feeling pretty relaxed right now, thankfully.


----------



## CWe

Like when you feel tired and just want to sleep but you can’t


----------



## Dissonance

feeling good


----------



## Citrine79

Another sad Sunday feeling. At least I have something to do toda….family gathering. But I will probably do the same thing there that I do at home…be on my phone. Because no one really cares what I have to say.


----------



## Socialmisfits

Irritated, disappointed in myself, agitated. I hope this is not the end of my positive thinking period. Hopefully I get to work out tomorrow so I can be proud of something


----------



## Citrine79

Not doing well today. Totally unfocused and incredibly sad about what is happening.


----------



## harrison

There;s something not right today I can feel it.


----------



## Fever Dream

Worried about someone that likely doesn't care all that much about me.


----------



## CNikki

Many things coming at me at once that I feel like my brain is using numbness as a (temporary) defense mechanism. Sparing the details.


----------



## copper

Combo of anxious and depressed. I hate summer especially August.


----------



## alwaysrunning

I wanted to try cutting my medication in half and take half in the morning and half in the evening. It has really affected my sleep though so I cannot do this again.


----------



## Citrine79

Feeling terrible….mentally and physically. Been a total struggle these past few days to get any of my work done. A number of things over the past few days have spiked both my anxiety and depression. Hot and humid weather of late has made me feel ill.


----------



## Crisigv

Nervous for my covid test.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, if a bit tired after a long day of working hard on my video game project. Time for some food.


----------



## PandaBearx

Sleepy. I got my second shot yesterday and I woke up feeling sore. Which I felt with the first one to a lesser degree b/c I wasn't forced to sleep on my vaccinated arm. I can't wait to come home and sleep latter.


----------



## Citrine79

Still feeling terrible. Anxiety really bad at the moment.


----------



## Lauralyn

Down. Living and learning.


----------



## coeur_brise

Tired, worn, lonely. Like I need a change.


----------



## melancholyscorpio

Sleepy and I look like death. I really need to practice having a proper sleep routine. I should not watch TV or be on my phone or tablet at least for an hour before going to bed.

I keep tossing and turning during my sleep.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

melancholyscorpio said:


> I keep tossing and turning during my sleep.


This often happens to me when it's too hot and/or stuffy in my room. Sometimes I don't even realize that's the problem (I don't actually feel hot but it's evidently a little warmer than my body wants it to be) but when I turn on the fan, I go to sleep almost right away.


----------



## Citrine79

Feeling a bit better…have a day off from work and heading out for the day. Supposed to be less humid and a bit more comfortable today as well.


----------



## Lauralyn

ATM depressed, in the morning I expect I'll have the feeling where my body is vibrating with that awful feeling/ energy again


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I beat the main scenario quest for Shadowbringers in ffxiv, Emet-Selch fell by my book as I read him a bed time story and threw a light infused battle axe through his torso 🙃



















_That made an ouchie!_​It is the simple things in life I tell ya. Now I am having a few beers, and enjoying myself after the little adventure.


----------



## Saeta

I'm happy because I've officially lost all my quarantine speck and relieved because I won't have to buy a new suit for an upcoming wedding.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater




----------



## Lauralyn

Better than yesterday despite not sleeping. Everyday is a new day. Boredom nothing new though.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, my fence was installed today so I now have more privacy. It is pretty cool, 6' vinyl fencing, which offers a ton of privacy for me, which means I will spend more time outside. Unfortunately, my little sailboat was up against the old fence and shifted a bit off into the fence just enough so they couldn't install a portion of it. It was kind of annoying because the surveyor informed us it would be fine - but nah, it wasn't. 

Soo, tomorrow I am going to rope my boat to a come along and yank that bugger further into my property, and then Monday I will install that portion of the fence myself. Hopefully, next week I will fill in the back yard portion of my yard with a chicken fence as I could only afford the side fencing of my yard, as well as front. Once that is installed, I can let my dorky dog play around outside when he wants to and not have to worry about him running off 🙃


----------



## Crisigv

Sad. While I'm happy to see pictures of my manager's wedding and happy for her, it makes me sad because I'll probably never have that.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Feeling good, but tired from work and not looking forward to the upcoming BS federal election.


----------



## zonebox

Beat up, I just moved my boat about three feet to get it out of where the fence needs to be installed. To do so, required using two jacks, jacking the backside of the trailer up, then using a come along anchored to a tree and pulling it so the boat would fall off the jacks and further into the yard.

I had to do it four times until the boat was inside of the yard far enough so the fence could be installed and also I could walk in-between the fence and boat to clean up after the fence is installed. Also so I can start working on my boat again, considering it has been sitting there neglected for a few years. I hope to eventually pull it back further into the back yard, then lift it off the trailer to work on the trailer and boat - but that is not for a while to come.. years away actually.

Anyway, a pic of my handiwork.








The boat used to be in that empty spot where the fencing should have been installed. When our surveyor came to our yard he told us the boat was fine where it was.. yeah.. he was wrong. Anyway, I'm so happy this is done with, now the rest of the fence can be put in and I will have some privacy in my yard. Looking forward to cleaning out my boat too.. one day perhaps it will be able to sail.


----------



## Shiny-appocalypse-cookies

Sane in insanity 
Logical in madness
Humble in vanity
Happy in sadness

Serene in chaos 
Feeble in fortitude
Cheerful in pathos 
Social in solitude


----------



## Citrine79

Spent much of the day online…mostly shopping. Not looking forward to dealing with the growing number of issues at work and trying not to let it bother me.


----------



## alwaysrunning

Okay. Had a pretty good day. Went to a car boot sale; on approach loads of people were leaving and carrying big bags of stuff. They were happy to pay the extra entrance fee to go in earlier. Last time I was up there there were some boots and these looked brand new/ they never look to have been worn. When I asked how much the guy said £2. I said "only £2!". His expression was like damn! I shoulda charged more, but I'm not sure I would have paid more especially since I didn't want to try them on with loads of people around me. 

Then I went on the Nextdoor app and a lady is giving something away for free so I went to pick it up. She was in the garden and was picking a flower and said you can eat these! If you were in a restaurant these would make your meal look much more expensive. Then she proceeded to eat a couple and I felt rude but declined trying one as you never know what it has been exposed to.


----------



## Fever Dream

Like Shaka, when the walls fell.


----------



## coeur_brise

It feels like a weekend and not that bad of one even though I had an extremely existential morning. Something hit at night and I'm ok. I feel delighted that my nails are long enough that they sound good on the acoustic guitar. That is all.


----------



## Lauralyn

Kind of embarrassed like I know when I'm myself and when I'm not but its still not easy going from nobody cares what I say to it being a lot bigger than it used to be. I just keep remembering stupid things and it bothers me either because I sound mean or just a few innapropriate things or just embarrassing. Its weird because at some point I just wanted a safe place to say whatever without any feedback which is part of it, got the opposite. Anonymity is attractive to me at that time, I just don't feel like I'm talking to anyone but myself sometimes. Its weird you'd think someone with social anxiety would be good about not saying things to attract negative feedback but its really not true for me online anyway.


----------



## zonebox

Annoyed that I don't have the post I need to install the rest of my fence, it was supposed to be delivered here by the company that installed the fence, several hours ago.. but I also received some good news from my father. Despite the fact that he is going to need a triple bypass surgery his doctor said he is in pretty good shape, and it is not severe enough for him to worry about. He can resume his normal daytime activities, including kayaking if he wanted to. His operation is in October, and the doctor has several years of experience and we all feel pretty confident that it will go along okay.

Ya hear the words triple bypass surgery, and it sounds incredibly scary. At least it does to me, but I guess it is pretty common and people live with them for decades. So a little less anxious about that, still anxious about covid though. Before he came down a few days ago, I went so far as to take a home test to ensure I was not infected. I would never be able to forgive myself if I got either of my parents sick.


----------



## alwaysrunning

I feel I need to do something with people. There is that bit of me that feels unwell and avoidant. Too much time alone is not good; the unconnected feeling is no good. If I do go to a volunteering thing tomorrow I need to be all happy and talkative.


----------



## Lauralyn

Better, kind of annoyed. Everyday is a new day. Keep praying, might be helping.


----------



## donistired

I feel ever so slightly hopeful today (I must be loosing it).


----------



## firelight

Totally exhausted and I don't know why. Major brain fog.


----------



## Memories of Silence

Uncomfortable because I can hear something scratching against my wall, and I don’t know what it is. Maybe there is a mouse or possum in there. It sounds furry and it keeps walking around. Hopefully it isn’t the kitten I keep hearing outside.


----------



## zonebox

Feeling pretty good, I've finished installing my fence, in a downpour.. got soaking wet.. I mean, it is like I jumped in a lake and walked out.. it was bad 🤣 I think my shoes are ruined, which sucks, but I've got my fence finished now.








​It was a real pita too, because I was working from the center trying to get everything to fit right between the posts they had already installed.. But it is done now, thank the gads. My poor boat looks horrible though, thing is covered in mildew.

So feeling really good about that, I think I will have some rum tonight 🍾🙃😝


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good so far, on a 5 minute break at work for now.


Memories of Silence said:


> Uncomfortable because I can hear something scratching against my wall, and I don’t know what it is. Maybe there is a mouse or possum in there. It sounds furry and it keeps walking around. Hopefully it isn’t the kitten I keep hearing outside.


Oh man, that sucks! Hope whatever it is goes away soon and finds another human to annoy. 😬🤗


----------



## Memories of Silence

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Good so far, on a 5 minute break at work for now.
> Oh man, that sucks! Hope whatever it is goes away soon and finds another human to annoy. 😬🤗


I thought it was going to jump out and get me when I was looking for it, but whatever it is is safely behind the wall. 🤗


----------



## Lauralyn

Naive


----------



## Citrine79

Melancholy.


----------



## sweeth3art

artynerd said:


> This is just a place to vent, feel happy or feel sad or whatever your mood!
> 
> But if you are feeling glum, this is to anyone who needs a hug!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _hugs_ =]
> 
> and if you are having a rough day, just know that someone out there cares about you.





artynerd said:


> This is just a place to vent, feel happy or feel sad or whatever your mood!
> 
> But if you are feeling glum, this is to anyone who needs a hug!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _hugs_ =]
> 
> and if you are having a rough day, just know that someone out there cares about you.


i had a tea today that didn’t burn my tongue and it tasted rlly nice


and it’s my birthday in a week 


and my step dad is going away for the weekend (hes mentally abusive :<)


and i’ve borrowed a book from the library which actually had a link to this website 

so im feeling rlly good!! im getting the advice i need and i feel rlly refreshed and happy!


----------



## CNikki

Unmotivated.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm heartbroken. My grandmother just passed. I've lost so much family this year.


----------



## Lauralyn

Blah people are so annoying


----------



## CNikki

Crisigv said:


> I'm heartbroken. My grandmother just passed. I've lost so much family this year.


Sorry to hear about that.  My condolences.


----------



## Crisigv

CNikki said:


> Sorry to hear about that.  My condolences.


Thank you


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, if a little stuffed up with a watery and itchy eye.


----------



## Citrine79

Struggling yet again to get my work done. Also, moody and uncomfortable due to it being that time of the month.


----------



## Lauralyn

I'm OK just wondering why I think about the things like I do or did


----------



## Memories of Silence

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Good, if a little stuffed up with a watery and itchy eye.


I hope you feel better soon 🤗


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

I've had a long-running groin rash for some reason, and have to put on some cream that the doctor prescribed twice a day, for two weeks. It's a bit annoying. And because my mother and (less likely) me, may or may not have got scabies (the symptoms were doubtful), I too will have to do the treatment for that at some point. I think it's a much more troublesome treatment than the rash one.

Anyway, the weather this summer has been downright depressing, I've gone on on about it on here before. Not much sun even by usual rather poor British standards, just endless cloud, quite a lot of rain and strikingly cold, especially at night. The southeast is normally the warmest and driest part of the UK in summer, but this year it seems the good weather has been centred more in northern England or even Scotland, which is weird.


----------



## rabidfoxes

LydeaCharlotteGirl said:


> I've had a long-running groin rash for some reason, and have to put on some cream that the doctor prescribed twice a day, for two weeks. It's a bit annoying. And because my mother and (less likely) me, may or may not have got scabies (the symptoms were doubtful), I too will have to do the treatment for that at some point. I think it's a much more troublesome treatment than the rash one.
> 
> Anyway, the weather this summer has been downright depressing, I've gone on on about it on here before. Not much sun even by usual rather poor British standards, just endless cloud, quite a lot of rain and strikingly cold, especially at night. The southeast is normally the warmest and driest part of the UK in summer, but this year it seems the good weather has been centred more in northern England or even Scotland, which is weird.


Scabies are hella problematic, apparently. I had a house guest who randomly told us that he _might_ have scabies. I'd never heard of scabies before but my housemates went livid. They kicked the poor guy out and then we spent the afternoon boiling everything that he'd been in contact with. I was told that the condition is very contagious and hard to get rid of. Hope you don't have it!


----------



## thomasjune

I miss my mom. I know people ***** about their parents all the times but I've been blessed to have a mother who have always been there for us.


----------



## coeur_brise

Mildly anxious and anticipating someone's visit next next week. I hope to show them a good time, whatever good time I can show. How bout i just buy drinks, on me.


----------



## caelle

I'm bored


----------



## Citrine79

Meh…haven’t been sleeping well the last few nights. Long weekends sometimes are worse then regular ones especially when there is nothing fun to do and when work is a mess and yourself thinking about it.


----------



## Euripides




----------



## zonebox

Pretty mellow, I took a valium about two hours ago because I needed to go to the dentist. One thing I'll say about where I live, is that mostly everything I need is in walking distance. I grabbed an umbrella and it only took about three minutes to walk there, that includes waiting for two crosswalks.

So yeah, feeling relaxed, but hungry. We made this really cool vegetarian meatloaf last night, it tasted pretty good and looked like the real thing. Check out how it comes packaged, it looks just like how some hamburger is packaged, and is actually about the same price. The meatloaf was delicious, I'm going to have some more after I clean the house.








​This isn't the one we made, but it looks almost identical.







​They also make hamburger patties, that are delicious they are a bit red on the inside and to me taste like the real thing. With the price of meat now, even if I were not going for a more vegetarian diet I would probably just buy this stuff.








​Again not my picture, but that is what it looks like when I cook myself a burger. So as you can probably tell, I'm feeling really hungry right now, but lazy because of the valium.. eventually the hunger will win and I'll get the house cleaned 🙃


----------



## WillYouStopDave

@zonebox 

I like the Beyond Meat brand. It doesn't taste at all like meat (IMO) but I still like it for what it is. I still eat meat though. I just alternate.


----------



## zonebox

@WillYouStopDave

I think I might try the impossible whopper from Burger King later on. I'm trying to recall if I have had the beyond burger yet, if I have it has been a while.







Looks pretty gewd  I would get a slice of cheese on it though. 



























Whopper triforce!​


----------



## WillYouStopDave

@zonebox 

The main thing that annoys me about the Beyond Burger is you can't really microwave it. I suppose you could but it comes out bad. You can really only fry it or bake it and have it come out tasty. There are other meatless "burgers" that come out decent if you microwave them. Like Grillers. I used to eat them a lot but they're not as complex and nutritious as the Beyond stuff. Though they technically might be better for you in terms of fat and cholesterol. If you can take wheat and other higher carb stuff, you have more options than the latest meat substitutes. Loma Linda makes this stuff called Redi-Burger that I started eating when I was a teenager and loved it. Doesn't taste a bit like meat but it's tasty (to me). Might be high in sodium (I don't know. I haven't had any in a long time). It's very expensive now and hard to find. There's probably no real need to go looking for it unless you just like to try everything once. 

I'll eat just about anything. Which probably contributed to some of my health issues. I have always had a preference for salty things and would usually add more salt to things that were already deemed to be too salty for most people. I don't add extra salt to my food anymore and haven't for a year or so. My mother (due to her having a peculiar attraction to 7th Day Adventism) has a long history of keeping a freezer full of meat substitutes. I would usually just eat whatever was there so if it was in there and edible, I've had it. I used to love the veggie dogs she'd get. I don't remember what they were called now. They actually might have been literally called "Veggie Dogs". They were more reminiscent of real hotdogs than most burger substitoots are of real burgers. They had a peculiar "different" flavor though but I got used to it and came to love it.


----------



## zonebox

I got it, and it is yummy 










I think three of these would make up the volume of a furby.










Not as glamorous as the picture they show on their site, but.. it is still tasty. Feeling pretty gewd about it.


----------



## Lauralyn

Bored and mildly depressed. The boredom doesn't feel good and I have a lot of stuff to worry about. I think having a boyfriend was good for me when I was living somewhere else just not many options here and its hard to make relationships anyway.


----------



## Citrine79

Not feeling it today. Going to be one of those days where I struggle to get work done. I am feeling pretty down about things and today is it rainy and cool…very fall like and that makes me feel all the more sad.


----------



## alwaysrunning

I just feel like I'm in withdrawal from when I took my medication differently. Just waiting for it to settle down and go back to "normal". Trying to keep busy. I have an induction to see if I want to begin volunteering in a charity shop soon.


----------



## Citrine79

Angry and frustrated. And tired of being judged.


----------



## Fever Dream

It has been a long and difficult day and I wasn't feeling the greatest on top of it. After taking a long nap, I'm trying to work up the motivation to do... something.


----------



## Citrine79

Disgusted beyond words at the way things are right now.


----------



## zonebox

Yesterday night was horrible, severe anxiety over nothing in particular. I think it was because of the Valium I took on Tuesday morning for my dentist appointment, last night I believe I might have been having withdrawals.. I don't know though, because I only took one 5mg pill and I wouldn't think that is enough to have withdrawals from especially considering it has been months since I last took one for a dentist appointment. I think I may have had bad anxiety after that as well, but never contributed it to the valium. If it is that, then damn, I feel bad for people that are reliant on it.

I think for my next dentist appointment, I will try taking 1/4 of the pill instead. That was not fun at all, usually when I feel anxiety I just take some saint john's wort and feel some relief. That is much weaker than valium, so I never feel bad after. I think it is just the chemistry of my brain, I mean I can barely handle marijuana as well as a single puff is enough to send me to the moon and sometimes trigger a nasty anxiety attack.. thus I stay away from the stuff. On the other hand, I'm perfectly fine with alcohol.

But yeah, now I am feeling pretty good.. worried I might run into anxiety attacks again, but none so far. I mowed my yard, and took a walk to the store.. So far three miles walked, I will try to get another mile in later on today, and drink a lot of water due to the humidity out there.. feels more like swimming that walking 🏊‍♀️


----------



## Shiny-appocalypse-cookies

I think I'm a role model


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Shiny-appocalypse-cookies said:


> I think I'm a role model


----------



## Citrine79

Feeling very uneasy and uncertain right now especially after the news of the past few days. I honestly do not know what I am going to do.


----------



## CNikki

Having a bit of a mental fog. So many things seem to be happening at once. Keep insisting that I'm fine, though. But am I ever really fine? :sigh:


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good so far, on break at work now. 

Thinking of someone special 🥰 and what to do with my evening once I am finished my work shift this afternoon.


----------



## system

im feeling ok


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Excited to see my sister from Iowa in less than 2 weeks. She's coming down to visit and said I could camp for the night with her. So that will be fun. I haven't seen her since February 2015. Been so long since I've seen her.


----------



## Citrine79

Another sad Sunday. Wish I cared about football like everyone else in my town does. It would be a nice distraction from current world of misery.


----------



## caelle

I am full of hormones today and feeling so sad and angry. I plan to stay in bed all day and hate myself for it later.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

The disappointment when you find a rare album to listen to on YouTube but can't find a physical copy to buy. 😭 lol


----------



## 3 AM

Hungry and stressed.


----------



## Citrine79

Annoyed and frustrated…especially with work.


----------



## copper

Citrine79 said:


> Annoyed and frustrated…especially with work.


Like that with my job all the time.


----------



## caelle

I'm feeling really sad. I feel like everyone is against me and that I will always be inferior to everyone.


----------



## donistired

Depression feels like a black hole in my mind dragging me down.


----------



## Socialmisfits

I feel a bit disappointed and sad as I had to kill two chickens who were deadly sick. The killing itself was the first time for me so it didn’t go the way I had hoped it would in my head. I guess the experience is part of life and getting stronger mentally though. At least I had the guts to do it and take the initiative.

But I keep replaying how I handled it and how the chickens reacted in my head. I should have done it swifter.


----------



## Citrine79

Getting more angry by the minute.


----------



## Socialmisfits

Looks like at least one other chicken caught the virus, this thing isn’t over yet. It is very hard to keep them healthy with all the lice and mosquitos plaguing them. I’m pretty tired of repeating all kinds of actions to prevent lice in their home every single day but it is unwinnable and now they seem to spread diseases. One by one they turn sick despite my efforts. My last bunch of chickens were killed by a fox, now it is a virus. I think I had enough of keeping chickens for now!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired/chilly


----------



## CNikki

Had a hard time sleeping last night/early morning, in part because of anxiety. Let's see how today turns out...


----------



## Citrine79

It is Sunday…so I am miserable and cranky as usual. Have to do the company/pretend I care about football thing today on top of it. Ugh.


----------



## caelle

I feel ok. Just woke up and got some coffee. Back in bed with my doggos. Thinking about actually getting dressed and ready today even if I don't go anywhere. Maybe paint my nails and wash the car.


----------



## sailing

I am feeling alright I guess. I’m at home sitting on the couch trying to relax. I tend to go into a panic over the slightest of things, it takes very little effort to trigger me into a world of hopelessness so I’m trying to learn to develop a sense of calm in my soul.


----------



## sailing

CNikki said:


> Had a hard time sleeping last night/early morning, in part because of anxiety. Let's see how today turns out...


I didn’t sleep all that well last night either. I decided to sleep on the floor because this usually helps my anxiety and all though I don’t regret it over my other option—the bed, I still tossed and turned a lot during my sleep and I woke up feeling physically and mentally annoyed by the whole night.


----------



## aqwsderf

Unattractive


----------



## Socialmisfits

aqwsderf said:


> Unattractive


You seem to have beautiful curly hair though so that is good 😊


----------



## aqwsderf

Socialmisfits said:


> You seem to have beautiful curly hair though so that is good 😊


Thank you 
It's just one of those days where nothing seems good


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

It was weird to hear my sister on the phone. I called to ask her what hotel she's staying at and she sounded completely different. I had to ask if it was even her when I called. Lol I know people sound different on the phone but she sounded completely different. I guess I'll know what she sounds like when I see her in person.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

PurplePeopleEater said:


> It was weird to hear my sister on the phone. I called to ask her what hotel she's staying at and she sounded completely different. I had to ask if it was even her when I called. Lol I know people sound different on the phone but she sounded completely different. I guess I'll know what she sounds like when I see her in person.


My sister sounds so Northern now. 😂 This will take me awhile to get used to. It's weird but not in a bad way.


----------



## copper

PurplePeopleEater said:


> My sister sounds so Northern now. 😂 This will take me awhile to get used to. It's weird but not in a bad way.


This is the sister that moved to Iowa? I am from Iowa and I have lived in the UP of Michigan for 26 years and everyone here thinks my accent is southern. 😂


----------



## WillYouStopDave

copper said:


> This is the sister that moved to Iowa? I am from Iowa and I have lived in the UP of Michigan for 26 years and everyone here thinks my accent is southern. 😂


 I always thought Michiganders sound Canadian. Even when I lived in Toledo there was a bit of that in the local accent there. It was very apparent to me because I was not from there. Imagine the hell I went through in a Toledo school with a real Southern accent. Let's just say I found a way to lose it as fast as I could.


----------



## harrison

Better than before thanks.


----------



## copper

WillYouStopDave said:


> I always thought Michiganders sound Canadian. Even when I lived in Toledo there was a bit of that in the local accent there. It was very apparent to me because I was not from there. Imagine the hell I went through in a Toledo school with a real Southern accent. Let's just say I found a way to lose it as fast as I could.


They definitely have a Canadian accent here. We might as well be part of Ontario.


----------



## Citrine79

Another miserable Monday.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

copper said:


> This is the sister that moved to Iowa? I am from Iowa and I have lived in the UP of Michigan for 26 years and everyone here thinks my accent is southern. 😂


Oh yea. She's from Iowa so she has an Iowa accent now. Her voice sounds so proper now. It's so weird. 😂 Still not quite used to it. 

Hmm, that is rather odd. Lol


----------



## Socialmisfits

I have just watched the exorcist I feel completely chill


----------



## caelle

I think I get to see my grandma tomorrow and see her kittens. It's so nice to have something to look forward to my life has been so ****ty these past few months. Oh and the car seems to be fixed so I can finally actually leave the house now.


----------



## Euripides

Irreparably alone and unworthy. 
Worn by incessantly pushing myself waaay beyond my supposed limits.
Fearful of nights and even being in my own place.
Ashamed, terribly guilty, and like I haven't made any progress in a decade.
Really, really suffering from the chronic lack of support, and craving deep meaningful mutual connection (s).
Really starting to believe most of everything is selfinflicted in the end. 
Dreading tomorrow's errand.

At the same time, I don't want to slide and lose the momentum in some areas, even when I really really really need and should, for once, rely on someone and trust it'll be okay. 

So, a constant catch-22 that seems inescapable.
And however rather insanely hard I try my absolute best, it's not enough.


----------



## Euripides

Off to go give the maybe ex/maybe best friend/maybe nothing at all some of her stuff back. Will be trains and hours walking. And all the time excruciatingly agonising. Then coming home to a trashed place with no clean things or food or drinks (stores will be closed.) (if I could muster it to go either way).

Wish me "luck"


----------



## Starcut83

Centered but a bit agitated. In love and somewhat stressed yet optimistic the day will go well...


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So I went out to eat with my sister and I didn't want to go in to eat partially cause I had shorts on. And she gave me some shorts to wear that are like night shorts for sleeping in last night. We went to the lake so I wanted to wear those. Then we went out to eat. I pretty much wore night shorts out to eat. 😒 Pretty awkward cause they kept riding up on me. I didn't think we'd be going in to eat. Omg. How embarrassing. I wanted to bring the food to the hotel. Lol Oh well. 😬


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I don't want my sister to leave in the morning. 😭


----------



## dearestjane

I am feeling blessed and a little high. (I live in California so weed is legal here. I wouldn't do illegal anything.) Sometimes when I get a good high I get inspired and excited which is a nice change of pace from the usual depressed-can't-get-out-of-bed-or-shower-me. Feeling a little social too. Like I want to socialize. With the depression and the pandemic, I've been in total hibernation mode. I prefer fall to summer so that is also good for being outside. So feeling hopeful, yeah. And glad to have this safe space to be myself. I did stop going to my group therapy though. That one is run by a licensed therapist who gives us different types of activities to manage our symptoms and set goals. Hmmmmm....


----------



## CNikki

Tired. I want the weekend to be here already.


----------



## coeur_brise

A little lost. I could be jobless soon, nearly no PTO left and little energy to work full time. In other news, I'm immensely grateful to have spent time with a certain someone. This mix of feelings suck however. Well, I guess I'm more glad than sad.


----------



## CNikki

There have been better and at the same time worse days. At least the worse part I had addressed it to the best of my ability and can only hope that the situation will improve.


----------



## firelight

Unlovable, unlikeable, exhausted. Confused as to what I am supposed to do as a human being. Clearly not to be a comfort or benefit to anyone else.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry


----------



## Citrine79

Despondent.


----------



## Crisigv

Hockey is back! I'm good now.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, had a fun afternoon at my volunteer shift. Working on my video game project now.


----------



## RobbieFoxer

Overall feel pretty good. I'm just laying in bed watching a twitch stream, just trying to wind down. Just found this site and hoping to stick to being active on a forum.


----------



## copper

Very anxious. BP is up, and my heart rate is up. I can't remember taking the Atenolol this morning. I did take the Thyroid pill.


----------



## Citrine79

Ugh….not good. Going to be one of those days.


----------



## andy1984

cold


----------



## Socialmisfits

Disappointed in my lack of resilience


----------



## shyshisho

Stressed and mortified from making mistakes at my new job.


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable


----------



## caelle

Not great, not horrible. But I am enjoying this very Fall like weather. It's so perfect and cozy.


----------



## Crisigv

Struggling with my existence


----------



## Benanners

I thought I could make a career change but am now realizing I don't have the skills required to get into the field I want. I've worked back breaking warehouse jobs for a decade and all that experience seems to only transfer to more labor intensive jobs. I was in school for computer science but my anxiety got the best of me and I dropped out before earning my associates degree. I'm currently in a place where I don't have the time or resources to finish school and the idea of continuing down the path I'm on is overwhelming. I regret my decision to drop out more and more every day.


----------



## Benanners

Weird Fishes said:


> I've been having ups and downs ... directly to do with someone. I think I'm a bit obsessed and it's a horrible feeling ... when I'm talking to them I feel ok but then when I'm not it makes me feel sh*t. I just hope that things will turn out ok.


I don't know your exact situation but I can tell you that I was once obsessed with someone. My mood would depend entirely on whether they acknowledged me or not and let me tell you most of the time they didn't. I was persistent though and made myself available at the drop of a hat for that girl whenever she felt like talking to me. Eventually she decided to give me a chance and after "dating" for a short while nothing had changed. I would still find myself waiting for hours or days to get a response from her and then it clicked for me. I was completely invested in someone who at the end of the day rarely thought about me. I apologized to her and we went our separate ways which led me to meeting the right person for me.


----------



## CNikki

Tired. Just want Friday to be here already...


----------



## RobbieFoxer

Just laying here in bed, I'm not horrible. Just that all too familiar feeling of being lonely and wishing I still was in a relationship. Just ready to have something to look forward to.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Crap. I ****ed up and only took one out of three of my cough pills for the day. 🥴


----------



## Blue Dino

Sitting on my chair, my current heart rate is at 51... 🤔


----------



## Starcut83

Feeling a little more like myself again each day. My self-esteem and confidence levels are slowly on their way back up. It's really a mental thing that dropped the more I forgot my own self-worth and stopped trusting in myself which lead to a lot of self-doubt and hesitation for a while. I felt like I couldn't be myself, it seems to me the more aware of your self worth you are the easier it is to be yourself socially.


----------



## CNikki

Sharing a nice bottle of wine and some deep conversations with someone. So I'm feeling pretty good.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater




----------



## CWe

like my insides feel empty and dull


----------



## Starcut83

I've been on an emotional roller coaster and now I feel emotionally numb, kinda disassociated from my body, while my mind feels dull...in a way that there are no inspiring or hopeful thoughts nor are there any negative thoughts...I just feel numb atm.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

It is a bit hot even though it's Fall. I am going back to my room with the AC. Lol


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, my father is recuperating from his heart surgery pretty well. I've been going to the hospital to see him every day, and it is nice to see he is progressing beyond expectation. I think they are going to move him out of the ICU tomorrow, and hopefully we will be able to take him back to his house on Sunday. In a little more than five weeks, his ribs should be mostly healed, and he should be able to do a lot more for himself, until then he can't so much as lift himself out of a chair using his arms though. By January, he will be able to resume a lot of his previous activities, such as kayaking I believe, and working around the yard. It is typically a full year, before full recovery but the milestone for now is six weeks for his ribcage to heal.


----------



## sailing

I’m feeling a bit down and out and sad because everyone I love is miles away from me and I wish we were together forever every time all the time. I just really miss my dad right now.


----------



## CNikki

It could be better...


----------



## Citrine79

My brief period of being sort of okay is over. Back to sheer hopelessness again. Plus, it is about the time of tear for my SAD to kick in...sigh.


----------



## NoLife93

Empty


----------



## Crisigv

Bad. I don't know if I'll ever trust anyone.


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling fortunate, when I think of all of the things that could have been worst I can't help but appreciate that they haven't. Certainly, things could have been better, much better, but my imagination can carry me to depths where it is a persistent state of misery and it only makes sense that my mind seeks out the pleasantries of this existence while being aware of what lies below.


----------



## Socialmisfits

Sleeping bad, having a 3 day headache now. Not migraine level pain but slightly annoying. Always tired after sleep, I should be energetic!


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Stiff, sore, self loathing


----------



## strange_world

Weary with my noisy neighbours. My neighbour keeps playing his radio really loud and it always wakes me up at stupid o'clock in the morning. 

It would be sort-of easier to understand if it was loud exciting music and partying. But no, they just listen to BBC current affairs programming at full blast, at 3 am. Blah blah blah politics, through my wall all night, it's driving me nuts. 🤬


----------



## thomasjune

Yeah feeling empty pretty much sums it up for me.


----------



## CWe

tired


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, but tired from work. Taking a quick break before the last hour of my shift is up.


----------



## donistired

Numb


----------



## CNikki

Disheartened.


----------



## shyshisho

Feeling refreshed after an entire afternoon spent reading a novel. I think good fiction is one of the few things engrossing enough to divert me from my problems.


----------



## Blue Dino

Been feeling physically off for the past few weeks. With some better and worse days. But it's been a recurring pattern every so often for years. Especially more often in the autumn and winter months.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Full from dinner, might have some fruit for a midnight snack later.


----------



## Citrine79

Miserable…Mondays are bad enough as is but today I am extra cranky and unmotivated. Work stuff bothering me again plus I don’t leave the house…or my bedroom much at all Monday-Friday and that is depressing.


----------



## zonebox

Feeling pretty good. Back on my laptop, the Internet is still lousy where I am but having a keyboard is so much better than relying on Android's virtual keyboard. My brother is really good at using it, but I find it to be a chore after a few sentences, even with the suggested words.

Anyway, I'm in my parents spare room, with the door mostly shut so all is pretty good. They have this bed on wheels, like you find in hotel rooms, that I cart here and it is comfortable enough, and I have a couple of pillows. My laptop is sitting on top of my luggage bag, so I have a little makeshift desk to use while laying on the bed. This is their parrots room, and one of their birds keeps saying "Hello" to me, which I find to be hilarious. I'll say hi back every once in a while, I mean, it would be rude not to, right? 

I have been on a horror movie binge watch for the past week, and hopefully peacock and pluto have enough to keep me going until Halloween. I have a site that streams a few bigger cable channels, but using the VPN on this already slow as molasses internet connection makes it even worst.


----------



## Citrine79

Still miserable…been a crummy week so far. Very anxious of late and really struggling.


----------



## strange_world

Anxious (and sick).
I ran out of my anti-anxiety meds (pregabalin) today. I'm likely to be up all night now. 10:30pm and counting. This sucks. I can't get any more pills until friday. At least I still have my anti-psychotics or this could have been a rough night.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater




----------



## CNikki

Like things are slowly being out of my control. I don't know if I can handle it...


----------



## harrison

Reasonably settled which is a relief - and so far no migraines. Was having a lot of them - really bad ones where your vision is impaired and you get dizzy. No idea why - maybe all the stress lately.


----------



## Citrine79

Not good at all.…sad and hopeless.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling really alone


----------



## Blue Dino

Everyone I come across has a secret underlying grudge against me that I am oblivious of. Probably a mix of both paranoia and the truth admittedly. This is a recurring feeling I have in consistent cycles for as long as I remember. It really makes me withdraw from people, and often offending them enough to the point of no return.


----------



## coeur_brise

Im absolutely knackered..in the us of a.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed, off


----------



## zonebox

Feeling good, just got to my house and am going to enjoy the weekend here before going back to my parents for another week or two - depending on how far my father progresses. For open heart surgery, and having a triple bypass he is doing amazingly good, he has really surprised his doctors and physical therapists, and is walking at least three miles a day now - I suspect I will probably only need to be there for another week before he can get back to keeping up with his chores. Since coming back, my dog has been super excited to see me, because it has been two weeks since I last have seen him and he is cuddling up next to me giving me kisses, he is such a dork.

I love my parents, and they are cool people, but it is hard to relax around them when they are constantly on the move and always wanting to do something or another while I typically enjoy sitting back and playing on my computer  Plus, I feel guilty about leaving all of the work for them, so I will usually try my best to get things done before they get to them. At my house, I am the one that does the chores so I don't feel rushed to finish them before anyone else gets to them. I will say though, I love my parents pool.. and I've lost over 15 pounds since going there about a month ago. I think sometime in April, I'll try to get one of those cheap Intex pools for my back yard, I threw our last one out which was a dumb move on my part, the prices for them skyrocketed to nearly twice the original price. The next one I get I'll hold on to for as long as possible, and patch it up.. hopefully I can get five years out of it.

Looking forward to cracking a few beers later on, having a decent internet connection and playing some games.


----------



## alwaysrunning

I'm feeling okay. I have started at the age of 41, a lot of people probably already do this, to write down whenever I spend any money. I have been living my life just not wanting to be in reality really and financially that is not good lol


----------



## Citrine79

Angry, frustated, sad, hopelessness…feeling a mix of all of these things right now. I had to skip therapy this week due my therpaist being on vacation and this was a bad week for that to be the case as so much is bothering me right now and he is the only one I can talk to about it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

That Elderberry powder stuff worked so good. It's possible I have allergies. My taste is already back. I dint feel as sick, either. So I'll be fine just in time for my vacation.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, getting a bit hungry though. Time for some dinner methinks.


----------



## Crisigv

Physically broken


----------



## caelle

Heye


----------



## Citrine79

Miserable. So. Very. Miserable.


----------



## Fever Dream

I'm trying to get comfortable so that I can fall back asleep, but I'm far too sore for that.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

incredibly unhappy.


----------



## zonebox

Bittersweet, I'm back from my parents which is good but after spending a month with them I got used to being around them again and miss them. It is nice having faster Internet again, and tonight I plan on having a few drinks. We will be having them over for Thanksgiving so I will see them then, and then again on my birthday, then on Christmas. 

I just worry about them, I liked being able to help them with the chores and keeping my mother and father company, plus I'll miss walking with my father on the trails. I'll also miss having their pool to swim in, that thing was a lot of fun. I jumped in the pool yesterday, despite it being a bit cold and swam around for about half an hour, it was relaxing - I might jump in it in December, but I doubt I'll stay in it for long. I kind of wish they moved closer, but it is still just an hour drive from my house. In the summer I get to see them more.

But now I have a bit of privacy, I'm back with my family and my dork of a dog, which I like. I won't have to listen to my parents argue with one another, or be back seat drivers, I can go back to doing things the way I like to do things without feeling guilty about not doing it their way, and so on. Plus my wife was starting to get depressed, I was going to stay with my parents until either this Tuesday or next, but it has been hard on her so I decided to come back early. Now I don't have to worry about her being depressed, which is good.

It is weird, being back. It has only been a month, but my routine is completely off now. I guess I don't really feel like I am "home" in a way, because I have been gone for so long. For now I'm just here with my dog, the rest of the family is off at school. They will not be back for another four hours or so. I think I might clean up the garage a little.


----------



## Citrine79

Usually after speaking with my therapist, I feel at least a bit of relief but not this time. So much is bothering me right now and I am having trouble dealing with it all. Plus, this weekend is the time change and that always spikes my anxiety.


----------



## Skygrinder

Been a while since I've been here. I'm feeling alright. A bit lonely. Trying to reconnect with a friend here, but this person doesn't seem to be here anymore. Gonna lurk for a few days to see if I get a reply.


----------



## CNikki

Irritable. Today was pretty much a waste. Then something on the news/social media that is pretty graphic was replayed over again and it's terrible.


----------



## RMS

Wretchedly depressed. Hopeless and anxious.


----------



## sgriff28

I’m feeling severe anxiety over many things in my life, it’s 4am and I have been up for 2 hours. I feel depressed and hopeless, scared to get help. I feel ashamed in my shortcomings and wish I was a better person for my family. I wish I had someone to confide in, I desperately am reaching out. I don’t feel good about myself right now, and it’s making me physically uncomfortable. I don’t know how to get help or make this all stop.


----------



## alwaysrunning

Sad. I really miss someone that was in my life for 8 years. We used to message each other everyday for a long time. Just try not to think about them


----------



## CNikki

Slept most of this morning and had a nap just before. I'm still tired.


----------



## caelle

Hyper. I took a muscle relaxer earlier to see if it would help my tension headache. Didn't seem to work. But boy did it make me tired but I couldn't sleep because I had coffee. That was hours ago and now Im feeling funky


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling decent, a little thrown off by the time of day right now. It feels like it should be a lot later than it is right now.


----------



## coeur_brise

Miffed. Why is sharing responsibility so hard for some people. While I don't have the roommate from hell ,all does go to hell when i even complain once about taking out the trash yet again.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless, unfulfilled


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sad that I go back to work tomorrow. Lol

Oh well. It's been a relaxing one. Mainly just staying home and chilling. Feel like I'm going to get separation anxiety again but it won't last long.


----------



## zonebox

Had a massive panic attack, unrelated to social anxiety. I was at sams club, playing a really cool game on their Legends Ultimate Arcade, the game I was playing was called Wizard fire, it was awesome! My wife was playing next to me and we were probably playing it for half an hour, felt like we were at an arcade 








Anyway, we eventually decided to stop playing and wander around Sam's club to get some steps in, and I noticed halos around all of the lights and my right eye was incredibly blurry. Rubbing my eye did no good, and I started to lose it. My mind started to wander to everything that could have gone wrong, so I asked my wife to take me to CVS to get some eye drops, we left and my eye was not improving, it was pretty scary to say the least. On the way to CVS all of the lights cast from the cars, street lamps, etc, had halos around them, everything was super blurry. We got into CVS, and went to where the eyedrops are.. eye drops are really expensive, and we did not have enough money - thankfully there was another product meant to wash out irritated eyes, it is pretty cool it comes with a little cup you pour the liquid in, and you put it over your eye. So we grabbed it, and waited in line for what seemed like an eternity, until we bought it.

Finally, in the car I tore the thing open, and used it. Much to my relief it worked, I broke down because I was ultra panicked at the time - I thought it could have been a stroke, or who knows what. I was really terrified until I used the product and my eye sight was restored, even after that I was scared, I had no clue what happened and could not see anything that would have gotten in my eye. I had been thinking I would have to go to the ER, be left in the hospital alone again, possibly die, whatever. So yeah, it was scary.

I think what caused it, was wearing a mask that let the air up by the nose, it had dried out my eye and I hadn't noticed it since I was so caught up in playing that game for a while. I read a bit regarding masks, and the impact they may have on eyes and apparently I am not the first one to have had this happen, especially while staring at a screen. So, if any of you are reading this, please secure your mask correctly, don't let your breath run across your eyes as that can dry them out an cause the same thing to happen. I had no idea having a dry eye could cause all of those visual effects, but apparently they do, and people have been experiencing the same issue.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Anyway, here is the game, it was a lot of fun 






Now I am semi relieved, but exhausted. Panic attacks suck.. Of course, it is going to be in the back of my mind tormenting me all night, but from a rational standpoint, it is pretty clear my eye just got dried out, and the liquid eye wash almost immediately fixed the issue.


----------



## either/or

Frustrated.

****ed something up at work today and had to stay on late. I hate it when that happens.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Pissed that my boss wants me to drive on the busiest damn road to Walmart to get bloodwork done for my health insurance so I don't have to pay 30 percent more. I never drive that way for a reason. One, it's too far and two, there's too much traffic and I'm scared of getting in a wreck. What kind of **** is this? And not only that. No. I have to get up before 7 in the morning just to do this crap. I'm starting to think I'm better off without the damn insurance. Companies ar so terrible. Dont get why there are dumb people that make excuses for such companies. This is one of those times I will call people dumb...but I hate using that word for people who just simply don't know something. But in this case I will use the word dumb cause screw them for thinking companies are so great.


----------



## CoolLilChickadee

Lousy. Sinus infections stink. Plus everyone who hears me cough or blow my nose gives me the side-eye. Not good for my anxiety. I want to shout "I'm vaxxed! It's a sinus infection!!"


----------



## strange_world

Uncomfortable. Had to take a day off work because I've got a trapped nerve and it's fairly painful. Ow. I don't get sick pay either.


----------



## Crisigv

I would like to crawl into a hole and die.


----------



## CNikki

Tired and yet I can't bring myself to nap.


----------



## Crisigv

Heartbroken and empty


----------



## Citrine79

Anxious and uneasy.


----------



## Crisigv

Really lonely, now that I truly have no one to talk to. No one who really knows me. My depression is going to get worse (if that's possible).


----------



## harrison

Exhausted and completely drained. This disorder is awful - but at least I accept I have it now. And with the help of this lovely counsellor I don't give myself quite as hard a time. She's trying to get me to stop focusing so much on the past and to try and move forward with some positive ideas - but I find it hard.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Zombie mode, one foot in front of the other


----------



## Citrine79

Melancholy. A deep…and getting deeper by the day…sense of melacholy. I live in the most depressing place imaginable.


----------



## alwaysrunning

Trigger warning maybe. As a person I am just all over the place, dysfunctional; things hurt more than they should. Had a meltdown at the dentists today because things have been too much. Saturday I just felt so awful. I was at my mums and just feeling like I did not want to be here. Almost going back to old behaviours that are not healthy because I do not feel good enough. I don't trust people.


----------



## shyshisho

I got the Moderna booster yesterday and today I’m feeling achey and tired, though not quite as bad as after the second full dose. Not yet anyway.


----------



## Citrine79

Citrine79 said:


> Melancholy. A deep…and getting deeper by the day…sense of melacholy. I live in the most depressing place imaginable.


Still feeling this…but worse. So. Very. Hopeless.


----------



## zonebox

Feeling bad for all of my SAS peeps feeling down, around this time of year I notice people struggling more and it sucks to see it have that kind of impact on others.


----------



## shyshisho

Feeling terrible. I have to put my cat to sleep tomorrow, if he doesn't pass away in the meantime.


----------



## Starcut83

Irritated. Why can't people mind their own ****ing business...


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable. Always reminded that I'm a worthless person.


----------



## coeur_brise

Too much awake at this time.


----------



## Girlinterrupted333

I’m in limbo. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Citrine79

Still miserable but at least I get to leave the house for awhile today.


----------



## strange_world

My arm still really hurts despite the painkillers. I can't take any more time off work. Ow ow ow.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired of existing


----------



## Crisigv

Heartbroken all over again. He has no idea how much I love him.


----------



## Socialmisfits

Anxious, stupid, dumb, pointless etc

it will blow over until it comes again, circle of life. Meh


----------



## Citrine79

Angry, frustrated and very alone.


----------



## alifb8

Anxious. Just blanked on a significant part of a job interview.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'll always be a total loser to everyone even if I try to help it. I just need to have a better day.


----------



## PandaBearx

Sleepy


----------



## Crisigv

I'm not sure how I'm feeling, I'm all over the place.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kind of hungry waiting on food. Lol


----------



## zonebox

I'm stuffed, I didn't eat very much though. Pretty happy now that it is over with, and the dishes have been cleaned, I think I'll have a glass of wine later on tonight and let myself be consumed into the belly of my couch. First I need to take a walk, and get my steps in. I've lost 25 pounds since October 1st, and don't want to back track.. Sixty more pounds to go, perhaps seventy. Thankfully I haven't gone over my calories for the day, so it should be okay.


----------



## Citrine79

Less than stellar.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

😞


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## Citrine79

Awful…physically and mentally. It is “that time of the month” along with it comes even more moodiness, depression and cravings plus bad cramps and general malaise. Depressed about where things are headed. Also, it is gray, cold and snowing which always puts me in a bad mood.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like an anxious fool


----------



## Socialmisfits

Slightly frustrated and misunderstood


----------



## Fever Dream

Eggnog and leftover tacos are not a good mix... 

Come with me
And you'll be
In a world of pure flatulation


----------



## coeur_brise

Kind of like john and yoko when they stayed in bed for peace but honestly this wasnt for peace and my hair is dirty.


----------



## alwaysrunning

Low, I do not know how to improve my mood.


----------



## Starcut83

Trying to keep my feet on the ground...😍


----------



## Crisigv

Meh


----------



## Citrine79

Grouchy and grinchy.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Agoraphobic


----------



## Citrine79

So over it all.


----------



## Crisigv

Tired


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Depressed


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Parched. Got me a drink to quench my thirst. Haven't been this thirsty in weeks. Lol Just one of those days I guess. But it was kind of hot today.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired & depressed


----------



## zonebox

I'm sipping away at a bit of rum, playing my game, and enjoying life at the moment. Feeling pretty good, a little hungry but otherwise fine.


----------



## Citrine79

Not good…stomach issues yet again plus really anxious about a bunch of things.


----------



## harrison

Slightly elevated - I think it's all the excitement today.


----------



## Citrine79

A bit better today…bunch of errands to and will be out of the house for awhile.


----------



## zonebox

I think I have done just about everything there is to do in cyberpunk 2077, now I have that feeling ya get when beat a game but want it to keep going on. I modded it as well, but there are not as many mods for it like there are for the elder scroll series. I was hoping for more quests to do, but couldn't find much in the mod scene. I really enjoyed the story, the graphics were outstanding, it was a pretty solid game in my opinion and I hope they update it more soon. It was an entertaining 70 hours(nearly 100 according to steam), but now that I have completed all of the quests and they are still fresh in my memory, I need to find something else to do.


----------



## CWe

Emotionally drained, tired


----------



## coeur_brise

A mix of feeling motivated yet with nothing to do to not wanting to fall back into old habits which I'm sorta doing. Basically I got out but now that I'm home, don't feel like going out anymore.


----------



## Citrine79

Not a happy camper today….so freaking tired of it all. My job is terrible on so many levels.


----------



## SparklingWater

Forever since I posted here. I'm feeling good!


----------



## Crisigv

Lately, my moments of feeling really down and depressed aren't lasting as long. I hope this is a trend and not temporary.


----------



## Citrine79

Having a really bad day, so much doom and gloom. Putting in a lackluster effort at work and feeling even more down and out now that it is heavily snowing and likely going to be much more than they said. So depressing to live in one of the very few places with snow. Adds more misery on top of my already large amounts of misery.


----------



## Fever Dream

My nerves are a little frayed, but at least nobody was hurt. Although I am further convinced that some people should not be allowed to have a driver's license.


----------



## Citrine79

It hasn’t been a good week and still feeling angry and anxious about a number of things but speaking with my therapist today helped a bit.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Disappointed. My trailer isnt even halfway to being done. Why tell me several times it's going to get done before Christmas if it isn't? I'm just ready to live by myself already. I will move into it whether it's done or not. I just want to take a shower in peace with having to go through someone else's room to do it, to go to the kitchen without someone being in there, etc. Only one room has been done so far. That is it. No carpet is in my room, the kitchen hasn't even been worked on. It's slowly getting there. And it was supposed to have work done on it since July. Wouldve been quicker if I just worked on the damn thing myself. I'm so pissed.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely, worthless and hopeless


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, if a little bit stuffy again.


----------



## DeepThoughts679

Not really good... My mom keeps implying that I think like this because I want to. I'm a pessimist and lifeless and never had any real goals. I worked up the courage to tell her about my problems until she decided to berate me because of the way that I think. Now, I don't have the courage to speak to anyone irl anymore about my problems.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

I feel really down today. The last couple of months I've been a lot worse than usual too mostly this weird negative anxiety feeling and sometimes panic. Getting stressed about certain things. I'm more aware of my physical deterioration too. Something else that's bothering me too. I think it's partly chemical though since it mostly seems random.


----------



## Citrine79

Awful…just freaking awful. Another bad week with high anxiety. I am beyond demoralized at this point and I do not see any sort of hope for improvement on the horizon anytime soon.


----------



## Unforgiven17

Tired but with pent up energy? Possibly the the feeling of never having lived up to my full potential - I hate feeling like this.


----------



## Starcut83

I feel satisfied with the day I had. Experiencing calm contentment and a little bit of joy. My heart is very happy at the moment, though it usually aches quite often throughout the day even when things are going well...I think I still carry a lot of sadness there despite having quite a bit to be grateful for these days.


----------



## CNikki

Like I just need a room to myself with nobody hearing or seeing me so that I can freely just go ballistic and let it out. Have to appear like I'm okay everywhere else so why can't I have that?


----------



## Starcut83

Content but less joyful...sleepy. Too early for bed though.


----------



## Crisigv

Tired of life


----------



## Euripides

Slept for the first time in four days. My skeleton feels drunk, but it's a nice little reprieve from unabated despondency for a while. I'll take it


----------



## Myosr

im feeling sick pysically and emotionally.

my parents are back home after three weeks of isolation.

i keep thinking about how little feelings i have towards everyone (including my parents and sister, but more generally i think i just dont love anyone and i almost never even care to fake emotions towards ppl).


----------



## Citrine79

Alone, hopeless and really, really anxious.


----------



## CNikki

Tired. A little hurt. I just want this year over with now.


----------



## Citrine79

Ugh….Monday misery in full swing. Not at all busy as far as my workload and that makes me anxious and uneasy…and also makes the day feel really, really long.


----------



## harrison

Not as stressed as yesterday, thank God. I'll be glad when Christmas is over but will be worried about my boy going on his trip.


----------



## Crisigv

Bad


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired and stuffed up. Also missing someone 😕


----------



## alwaysrunning

Lonely. Lacking interest in things. Had a drink but it hasn't made a difference.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm feeling good that I've finished wrapping all the Christmas gifts.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Relieved. My trailer's finally starting to get done.


----------



## CNikki

Like I just need to go to bed to help forget why I'm even upset in the first place.


----------



## Blue Dino

Feeling decent 5.5/10. Which is physically the best I have for the past 7 or so days, despite having gotten only 4 hours of sleep last night, and expected today to be horrible because of it. But a bit of the opposite.


----------



## caelle

Im feeling bad. I thought having to worry about my anxiety, depression, and stress was bad enough. But now I'm feeliing physical pain. Im so tired.


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good right now, having a few drinks, playing some games, listening to music and baby Yoda is chillin with me.










_Grogu is passing me some force_​Things are pretty cool right now.


----------



## Citrine79

Having a tough time today…unmotivated and uninspired to work. Being the “black sheep” is never fun but is especially hard to handle at this time of year.


----------



## Yulp

Ashamed guilty sad and lonely


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired from work.


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy and lonely


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Well, I had an opportunity to shoot targets with a gun and noped the **** out cause it was too damn loud. 🤣 Oh well I guess. Guns scare me unfortunately. I don't like the noise and I'm sensitive to the sounds. So, I wore ear plugs. But it still made me nope out of it.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad


----------



## Citrine79

Not good…I am the black sheep and reminded of this on a daily basis.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like the Grinch…except I don’t want to steal Xmas, rather I just want it done before it’s ever began


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Had someone give me 5 dollars today and told me I'm a hard worker then got a hug. That was nice. Made me feel good.


----------



## alwaysrunning

Unmotivated. Looking forward to getting back home to be alone. And they say this is the most wonderful time of the year lol


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I have a lingering headache that's going on 12 hours now.


----------



## Citrine79

Meh. I will at least try to be less grinchy and miserable today.


----------



## Starcut83

Gave her a homemade present she loved yesterday and sent a text saying Merry Christmas to the one person I'm closest to this morning who's with her family today and spent most of the rest of the day watching shows on Hulu while eating nontraditional Christmas foods...all in all I feel okay...though I'm glad today is almost over.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad


----------



## Starcut83

I know this is a temporary experience, but while I am...experiencing this...I'd like to say...I know life can be hard and painful...I don't know if there's a reason for all of it but...whether or not you believe me, you are so much more than you think you are, you are unequivocally unconditionally loved.💗


----------



## strange_world

I feel fat. I have eaten so much recently. I just finished the last of the Christmas pudding - cold - and I am so sick of food right now.  Diet starts tomorrow.


----------



## CNikki

Contemplative. Wondering if what I've been doing (or in some cases lack of) is really working. It feels like I will never be truly fulfilled, and time is definitely not on my side to add onto that...


----------



## harrison

Been an incredibly busy few days - with Christmas and then getting my son to the airport etc. I was so tired with all the driving and stress but everything's done now so I can take it easy for a while. Feeling a lot more settled.


----------



## Citrine79

Bored and lonely. Also feeling a deep sense of melancholy about the way things are going.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed with everything & everyone


----------



## Citrine79

More hopeless than ever.


----------



## CNikki

Once again, contemplative...


----------



## Crisigv

Left out


----------



## PinkPikachu

Good and hopeful but also anxious. Our car is broken right now so we had to miss some work- I almost never call off... cuz of the anxiety of people being mad at me. (Even tho everyone has called off a long time just in the short time I've been there..)
But just enjoying some time off and drinking my coffee ♡ The holidays are brutal. Everyone deserves some significant time off around the holidays.


----------



## Citrine79

My head is even more of a mess than usual right now.


----------



## harrison

A bit hot (going to be 38 degrees today), trying to wake up, worried about my son. That about covers it.


----------



## Crisigv

crappy


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed, hungry


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

You're going to yell at me just for asking a question. Really? You can walk home in the cold or rain for all I care. Shouldn't have to take you home ever again with that mouth of yours. Dont even see why I have to take you home. All you do is ignore me whenever I talk while I'm driving so I have to listen to you go on and on about yourself instead.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely and not optimistic


----------



## Mystic290

In pain


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Citrine79

Meh. New year…same old feeling of misery and hopelessness.


----------



## CNikki

Restless even though I should try to go to sleep. Plus my mind is ironically signaling that it's going into zombie-like mode even though it's trying to compromise on staying up for maybe the next hour. Admittedly, I think because of 'holiday celebrations' that I'm messing things up to the point that it is going to be counteractive with how my schedule should help me function (as limited as that is). I should also consider the fact that I'm not that young anymore because of how it impacts psychologically as well as physically.


----------



## zonebox

At the moment, I'm feeling intoxicated and a little hungry. I would love to have a pizza right now, a NY style pizza with lots of grease and extra chewy. I would be happy with a tombstone pizza, or pizza rolls. I have mozzarella in the fridge, perhaps I will smear some sauce on bread and make myself some bread pizza. I dunno, that is a lot of work, perhaps just some grilled cheese sandwiches.

Edit:
OMG.. I just learned that we are out of mozzarella.. my world is shattered.. there will be no pizza bread tonight, only disappointment.. Grilled cheese is okay, but I kind of psyched myself out with the pizza bread, now that is gone..


----------



## WillYouStopDave

zonebox said:


> At the moment, I'm feeling intoxicated and a little hungry. I would love to have a pizza right now, a NY style pizza with lots of grease and extra chewy. I would be happy with a tombstone pizza, or pizza rolls. I have mozzarella in the fridge, perhaps I will smear some sauce on bread and make myself some bread pizza. I dunno, that is a lot of work, perhaps just some grilled cheese sandwiches.


 Dude. Do you have 24 hour delivery somewhere nearby? It's been so long since I ordered a pizza I can't even remember but it seems like I recall getting pizzas at like 3 AM before.


----------



## zonebox

WillYouStopDave said:


> Dude. Do you have 24 hour delivery somewhere nearby? It's been so long since I ordered a pizza I can't even remember but it seems like I recall getting pizzas at like 3 AM before.


Everything closes early now, the workers have rebelled against the lousy wages they were earning. Even Walmart closes at 11.. I think their automated cashiers were fed up with us.

This does not fare well with us night folk. The earlier risers have taken control, and cast us in the shadows, well I mean, they cast us further in the shadows, like in the ultra dark.


----------



## truant

Ngl, my life is pure ****ing hell. What am I even still doing here? 😂


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Power went out a few minutes ago and woke me up. So I'm still a bit tired. Lol Glad I'm off today. Wind is blowing like crazy.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Power went out a few minutes ago and woke me up. So I'm still a bit tired. Lol Glad I'm off today. Wind is blowing like crazy.


 I hate windy weather. If nothing else, I just don't like the constant sound of it. Especially high gusts that just go on for hours and hours. I am not sure what happened to me. Things like that didn't used to bother me but the last ten years or so I've been getting more and more sensitive to irritating sounds.


----------



## Crisigv

Tired and just done


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> I hate windy weather. If nothing else, I just don't like the constant sound of it. Especially high gusts that just go on for hours and hours. I am not sure what happened to me. Things like that didn't used to bother me but the last ten years or so I've been getting more and more sensitive to irritating sounds.


I actually like the sound of strong wind. Kind of Iike listening to the ocean.

But I don't like the sound of loud guns or super loud thunder. Lol Any kind of loud noise that makes me jumpy I don't like. It seems like I've always been sensitive to loud noises. It makes my anxiety worse. It's just eeew. 😒 Not literally eeew. But yea. 😂


----------



## harrison

I'll be fine when I wake up. That would be quite nice thanks.

Still a bit pissed-off from being called unstable by someone though - and a few even less savoury terms. My wife can call me that but no-one else.


----------



## zonebox

I just had my pizza, and am feeling pretty good. It was the last pizza I will have in a long while, as the diet will resume tomorrow. I managed to get through the holidays without gaining weight, I'm pretty surprised. Usually November through January I gain a lot of weight, then have to work to get it off.


----------



## Citrine79

I am a trainwreck right now and inching closer to my breaking point with each passing day.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like worthless garbage. I'm not good enough for anyone.


----------



## shyshisho

Not happy coming back to my isolated existence after a nice visit with extended family over the holidays. I am glad to be back with my cat though.


----------



## Citrine79

Uneasy and really tense.


----------



## harrison

Not too bad actually. I think this dose of medication might be about right. At least I'm not bouncing off the walls like I used to be.


----------



## Skeletra

Depression hitting me pretty hard right now.

Maybe depression is the wrong word as I haven’t been diagnosed or anything, but I’d like to snap my fingers and disappear from existence for a few hours.. or days and pop back in feeling just ok.


----------



## Citrine79

Haven’t been doing well at all of late and today, two things that cause my anxiety to spike have occured and are making things touch. One, I have very little work to do today and have to stretch out the little I do have so I can’t really distract myself like I can when I am busier. And also, snow…lots of snow. Snow causes me immense misery.


----------



## CNikki

Been feeling suddenly tired around this time for at least the past few days. Right now it almost feels like I could pass out. Weather to blame, or something else...


----------



## alwaysrunning

I feel okay. I paid for four lessons of skateboarding which I am really excited about. First one starts next week. I found out that there are more women my age doing it than I ever thought. I just hope something doesn't freak me out. Just trying to keep in my mind the sayings "keep calm and carry on" and " when you feel like quitting, remember why you started".


----------



## Citrine79

My winter blues and misery has kicked into high gear. My location is so depressing.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Coffee got me feeling a bit energized. So I'm feeling good. 😂


----------



## Crisigv

Very stressed


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Had a good day at work today.


----------



## Citrine79

Been in really bad stretch of late…and now things likely are going to get much worse for me. This is where I really wish I had a friend or someone I trust that I could talk to. My therapist isn’t enough and I need someone to reach out to without being judged.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

ill


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling good. I'm off tomorrow and about to eat supper soon after my long shift.


----------



## alwaysrunning

About to go out soon and I feel the need to cough quite a bit. I did a Lateral Flo Test and it came back negative.


----------



## Skeletra

Swinging wildly between super duper bummed out and a little bit happy, which is again a little bit scary, haha.


----------



## thomasjune

Feeling good and relaxed. Too bad it won't last long...


----------



## Crisigv

My age seems to be hitting me like a train at the moment.


----------



## Citrine79

It is very cold here…making me feel even more depressed and sad.


----------



## hayes

COVID is kicking my ***. Started feeling better a week ago but my cough has gotten worse and with my asthma is more horrible. I've been coughing so much I pulled a rib muscle and my back is in pain.


----------



## Crisigv

unwanted, rejected and hopeless


----------



## zonebox

@hayes I hope you feel better soon, it sounds like you are going through hell right now.


----------



## Citrine79

Not good…really unmotivated and disinterested in my work…and pretty much everything else.


----------



## Rjx

I feel defeated and just tired of doctors appointments and not being able to wake up or be alert and told to go on medications I refused lyrics that they wanted a physcitrist not educated about benzo withdrawals and if I was informed and not told oh no you want get depdenant on it you can take it at a low dose for years and be ok if you stick to the dose. This is all stems from the pharma reps selling pushing there drugs on to physcitrist to prescribe and I'm angry at how pharmaceutical companies hurt ppl just for money and cover the data and when it's released get away with it by loop holes. Being diagnosed with a sleep disorder after half my youth has been already ruined by social anxiety I feel like what the f am I fighting so hard for to stay alive for what. And what I would be like and my life my have been like if I never took medication to begin with and did therapy work Instead. I don't know I feel like I'm in a coma. Just trying to find a reason to keep pushing me to keep going but tomorrow is another day. This feeling will pass


----------



## harrison

Rjx said:


> I feel defeated and just tired of doctors appointments and not being able to wake up or be alert and told to go on medications I refused lyrics that they wanted a physcitrist not educated about benzo withdrawals and if I was informed and not told oh no you want get depdenant on it you can take it at a low dose for years and be ok if you stick to the dose. This is all stems from the pharma reps selling pushing there drugs on to physcitrist to prescribe and I'm angry at how pharmaceutical companies hurt ppl just for money and cover the data and when it's released get away with it by loop holes. Being diagnosed with a sleep disorder after half my youth has been already ruined by social anxiety I feel like what the f am I fighting so hard for to stay alive for what. And what I would be like and my life my have been like if I never took medication to begin with and did therapy work Instead. I don't know I feel like I'm in a coma. Just trying to find a reason to keep pushing me to keep going but* tomorrow is another day. This feeling will pass*


It will pass - hard to believe but it's true. 

I spent a long time on things like benzos, they make you feel terrible after a while. I hope things get better. Take care.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Like I could drink a gallon of oj. I was pretty much constantly working today. So I was parched.


----------



## Crisigv

Every day it gets harder to exist.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I was so tired earlier. Took a nap. I feel refreshed now.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I was so tired earlier. Took a nap. I feel refreshed now.


 A refreshed purplefly is a happy purplefly.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> A refreshed purplefly is a happy purplefly.


----------



## Rjx

harrison said:


> It will pass - hard to believe but it's true.
> 
> I spent a long time on things like benzos, they make you feel terrible after a while. I hope things get better. Take care.





harrison said:


> It will pass - hard to believe but it's true.
> 
> I spent a long time on things like benzos, they make you feel terrible after a while. I hope things get better. Take care.


thank you so much I know there horrible, thank you. you to 🤗


----------



## Citrine79

So-so…still worried about a lot of things but feeling a bit better after my recent therapy session. Also, going to a place I like very much this weekend.


----------



## Rjx

I'm worried I offended someone and feel stupid and like I've acted like a a*hole


----------



## harrison

Rjx said:


> I'm worried I offended someone and feel stupid and like I've acted like a a*hole


If it's me don't worry I didn't even see what you posted.  I'd already gone to bed.

It's easy to get the wrong idea about what someone means on places like this - hard to get the full picture or context of what people are saying when it's all just text. Either way - don't worry.


----------



## Hummer3

I'm superb....


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Delighted to be getting tomorrow off.


----------



## slyfox

Frustrated with myself that I need to get up in 6 hours and still haven't gone to bed. 6 hours might not sound bad but I'm not in bed yet and based on past experience there is a good chance I'll end up getting much less sleep than that.


----------



## Citrine79

Feeling very blue on this “blue Monday”. I live in an absolutely miserable place.


----------



## slyfox

Dead tired, but at least maybe I can correct my schedule if I force myself to stay up until later


----------



## Crisigv

Cold


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I woke up at 8:30 today, ate breakfast, and went back to sleep over an hour later. Woke up at like 11:30 am and still felt a little tired. I was dozing on and off for awhile cause I was listening to YouTube. I don't normally feel like that so it must've been cause of work yesterday.


----------



## pillbugger

I feel like a goblin. A goblin among a world of tall beautiful and handsome elves, scary orcs, and otherwise normal looking humans. I could have been a dwarf. At least dwarves are beefy.


----------



## slyfox

Lazy


----------



## Girlinterrupted333

numb


----------



## Memories of Silence

A little bit worried that the horrible dizzy feeling I’ve been getting could be something that lasts for a few months or longer.


----------



## Citrine79

Less than stellar. Also, not much work to do which makes the day drag on and on.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Memories of Silence said:


> A little bit worried that the horrible dizzy feeling I’ve been getting could be something that lasts for a few months or longer.


"hugs" 😘


----------



## Memories of Silence

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> "hugs" 😘


Aww, thanks 😘 _hugs back_


----------



## Crisigv

I feel horrible, thanks to my booster shot. Hardly slept, so much discomfort/pain.


----------



## CNikki

Annoyed. Let's just say for now that I hope this day goes by smoothly.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater




----------



## harrison

Quite good thanks, but I'd like someone else to give me more money on ebay.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## Protozoan

I'm feeling hopeful. As long as I focus on my physical health, exercising, cooking proper meals and remembering to do things I enjoy, I think I'll be alright.


----------



## Citrine79

Struggling hard….can barely function of late.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Looks like that ice storm might be headed this way but I heard it probably won't be too bad. I'm not looking forward to it but I might be off on the days thst it gets here. If it even comes cause it waa supposed to come last weekend.


----------



## pillbugger

I feel like freakin' Velma. I really do need my glasses to do simple tasks. I'm not sure how I have gone by without them for so long. Really says a lot about how I have neglected myself.


----------



## thomasjune

Relaxed. I'm taking the day off this Monday so just one more day and I get to isolate myself for a while. Though I do have an appointment on Monday but it's early so I'll get to relax for the rest of the day.


----------



## harrison

Incredibly bored.


----------



## Protozoan

If everyone could be honest about how they were feeling to the people close to them, including myself, life would be much easier.


----------



## harrison

Much better after lodging a nice little complaint about the quality of the "comedy" on the abc. That always makes me feel better.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Pretty cold tonight. I got my pjs on for the second time this winter and my jacket. It's funny because I was hot earlier.


----------



## Pechorin

For some reason, unbeknownst to myself, my social anxiety has been much less inhibiting this last week or so. I've been able to handle social situations with a minimum of fuss and even go out and sit in a cafe alone (albeit a quiet one) for some breakfast. 

I think it might be something to do with talking to my girlfriend about her own anxiety, and in doing so, really working through the steps in my own mind for overcoming it. Instead of the panicked thoughts, I'm thinking more calmly and rationally about situations. 

Here's hoping it's a step towards overcoming it.


----------



## slyfox

Don't feel like sleeping, but guess I better force myself to try. While vampires have never interested me, I wouldn't have much trouble adapting to their sleeping schedule.


----------



## rabidfoxes

I'm feeling mildly tired but overall content. I know this because it's my turn to cook and instead of dreading it I am looking forward to doing some simple alchemy in a slow and purposeful way.


----------



## Citrine79

Going out for awhile today despite the fact it is snowing (again!) and very cold/gloomy. Even just a short time outside of the host improves my mood somewhat.


----------



## Skeletra

I found out I can do Split screen on my iPad. I’m watching YouTube _and_ browsing Pinterest. I’m at my happy place


----------



## tejasjs

I am frustrated by homophobic stereotypic mental torture,

And the stereotypic plots people are planning


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling very on edge right now.


----------



## Citrine79

Not good…Sunday night is depressing AF. My seasonal affective depression is off the charts right now and the weather is going to continue to be awful (i.e. cold) for the foreseeable future meaning the snow will not melt and I willl continue to be miserable.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I feel the tiredness coming on now. 😴


----------



## hypestyle

feeling 


artynerd said:


> This is just a place to vent, feel happy or feel sad or whatever your mood!
> 
> But if you are feeling glum, this is to anyone who needs a hug!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _hugs_ =]
> 
> and if you are having a rough day, just know that someone out there cares about you.



feeling awful for these past several weeks. I don't like my job. I keep applying for other jobs and don't get interviews or on my rare interviews, I don't get selected in the end. My car is breaking down and I'm not a millionaire so I'm having to look into options to try to fix it or just sell it outright and try something else. Meanwhile I have to rent cars just to get to work and back. My mom's car is also malfunctioning and in a repair shop. So many things are piling on me it is overwhelming. I have come to truly resent my life and all of the frustrations that I can't escape.
Never having had a girlfriend, I don't even have that as a person to talk to or be close to.


----------



## Citrine79

New week…same old misery. I find it extremely difficult to have any sort of optimism or hope of any kind. Not that I ever had much to begin with but these days, things feel so bleak and seem to be getting even bleaker.


----------



## slyfox

Tired and sore


----------



## harrison

Bloody hot and sticky. I'm sick of summer already.


----------



## slyfox

Kind of sick. Hopefully just allergies or something


----------



## Fever Dream

harrison said:


> Bloody hot and sticky. I'm sick of summer already.


Cold and dry. I wish I could trade you for some of that summer.


----------



## harrison

Fever Dream said:


> Cold and dry. I wish I could trade you for some of that summer.


Don't worry - I'll be complaining when it gets to winter too mate. Although we don't really get a proper winter here.


----------



## slyfox

Frustrated with my sleeping problems. Have stuff to do today and just getting to bed now(hopefully). It's 8:43 am here. Not sure when the last time I had at least 6 hours of sleep in a day was.


----------



## Citrine79

harrison said:


> Bloody hot and sticky. I'm sick of summer already.


Summer… 😭 oh I miss thee! Although high humidity is gross though. Was debating recently with others what is worse…extreme heat or extreme cold and the consensus was extreme cold. My area is in the midst of a week plus (and still several more days to go) of bitter cold and snow. As I said, not a fan of humid days but heat and humidity never need to be shoveled or cause blizzards like the extreme cold does. Then again, most places do not have the extreme winter my area does.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So tired of dealing with people being ****ty to me.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like a freak


----------



## harrison

Citrine79 said:


> Summer… 😭 oh I miss thee! Although high humidity is gross though. Was debating recently with others what is worse…extreme heat or extreme cold and the consensus was extreme cold. My area is in the midst of a week plus (and still several more days to go) of bitter cold and snow. As I said, not a fan of humid days but heat and humidity never need to be shoveled or cause blizzards like the extreme cold does. Then again, most places do not have the extreme winter my area does.


Yeah, I don't think I'd like extreme cold either - I don't think I've ever even felt cold like that.


----------



## CNikki

Terrible. Either I'm having whiskey in attempts to calm down or to try calling it an early night...


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

It rarely happens that I get someone acknowledge me while I'm shopping. Some middle aged man was telling me how he couldn't find any dark chocolate. 😆 He was kind of smiling about it in a sort of joking way but not really joking at the same time. It was funny. He seemed pretty friendly.


----------



## harrison

Pretty **** actually.


----------



## Alleviate Suffering

harrison said:


> Pretty **** actually.


What's up? If you don't mind me asking.

Hope you feel better soon anyway.


----------



## Crisigv

like worthless trash


----------



## harrison

Alleviate Suffering said:


> What's up? If you don't mind me asking.
> 
> Hope you feel better soon anyway.


Thanks for asking. Just a bit of a bad night. Lonely, tired and generally worried about everything. Quite common for me unfortunately. I usually feel better the next morning. Thanks again.


----------



## CNikki

Things were going okay until making the mistake of calling/checking in on some loved ones. Argumentative people just wanting something to argue about, even over the phone...


----------



## Omni-slash

Fantastic.

Edit: I don't actually feel fantastic, I just thought this thread had enough negativity.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater




----------



## slyfox

Tired and lazy, but I suppose I'll force myself to work on some things. I'll feel like a failure later if I do nothing


----------



## alwaysrunning

Low. It's coming up to that time of the month and being around people is worse. Tonight is my last pre-paid class. Feeling resistance; irritated, like I don't want to put on the protective gear, almost like I don't care if something happens to me then I can stop this. What makes it worse is that the class is not until late so waiting around all day to go. I am not sure if I will go, but then I will have wasted my money.


----------



## CNikki

Oddly motivated but at the same time still a bit sluggish and lazy. The struggle is real, man...


----------



## Crisigv

Extremely anxious


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, I was worried about my brother for the past week because he hasn't texted me. He has spent the winter living in his tent in New York, so I was afraid he may have frozen to death. He is doing good, so I'm happy to hear it. I swear he has one hell of an amazing ability to make the best of things.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Parched


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Parched


I gulped that drink down. 😌


----------



## harrison

zonebox said:


> Pretty good, I was worried about my brother for the past week because he hasn't texted me. He has spent the winter living in his tent in New York, so I was afraid he may have frozen to death. He is doing good, so I'm happy to hear it. I swear he has one hell of an amazing ability to make the best of things.


Glad your brother is still okay mate. He's a tough one, that's for sure.


----------



## Socialmisfits

@zonebox he is homeless?


----------



## zonebox

Socialmisfits said:


> @zonebox he is homeless?


Yes, he has been for a few years unfortunately.


----------



## CNikki

Not that optimistic, but I'll try to make the best of today.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Whenever I get out of the shower now, I have to turn the middle knob first for some reason cause it messed up and had to get fixed. And it's annoying cause once you have to get out of the habit of doing something for years, at least with me it takes me forever to get into the habit of doing it a different way. I'm not sure but the man that lives here said his gf had cold water splashing on her cause of my mistake and he seemed frustrated cause I didn't turn the middle knob first. I'm not sure if that means she gets in the shower first cause if she does you're going to have cold water splash on you if you get in as soon as you turn the water on. Or if he means that nothing but cold water comes out the whole time if I don't turn the middle knob first. Well, maybe I wouldn't have to deal with this if my trailer was fixed by now cause I have a feeling I'll just forget again and again and get yelled at because of it. I'll probably forget for a whole month until I get it right. I'm just ready to move out already, which at this point will probably be never I'm assuming. Who knows? I just dont see me moving in by the end of this year.

Now, I'd rather just take my shower in the sink again so as not to deal with getting yelled at. I'm so used to turning the left and right knob first then the middle knob second and after doing this for the 7 and a half years I've lived here it's not going to be easy for me to remember at all for at least a month. Also, if I never got my head hit maybe it would be easier for me to remember but my mind kind of works like it's on autopilot half the time and just does what it does. It's not wired right and I can't really help that. Seems like it's been that way ever since I got my head hit. But then again, maybe I'll remember after getting in trouble for it. That's usually when I remember something. 

So, the last few times I did it, I do what I usually do then I didnt notice until after I did it so I went back and turned it on again to redo my mistake over that time and turned the middle knob off first thinking it would prevent my mistake but nope. It didnt. _sigh_ It's like I literally need to put a note above the knob just to remind myself and even then, sometimes spelling things out for me doesn't help cause I might just not look at the note first before turning it off. Plus, the note would just get water all over it if I put it in the shower. There's really nothing I can do to make me remember better in this situation. My mind also drifts when I'm in the shower so that doesn't help much with remembering the knob.

My boss joked not too long ago with me saying I have amnesia and need to go get that checked out cause of something that wasn't even really related to my job. Lol Not sure if he was half joking and half serious. But I wouldn't be surprised if he was serious in the end.


----------



## Citrine79

Miserable as always. Caring less and less about my job with each passing day. Starting to get behind a bit on things and I really don’t care.


----------



## pillbugger

Things are moving too fast. I'm not ready. It is all so overwhelming... and shutting myself off from society for so long doesn't help either. I feel like a time traveling caveman. If I could just travel to another dimension where it stays in the 2000s forever, that'll be nifty.


----------



## Pechorin

Delighted my beloved Celtic trounced our arch-rivals Rangers.


----------



## Socialmisfits

Nervous and irritated. Paper work is so annoying and difficult, especially when money is involved. Everything is digital these days. I prefer eye to eye contact when dealing with monetary problems. Sending mails, finding the right words to express yourself in these mails, then mails are returned and new problems arise. It never ends. One face to face contact would solve the problem but it seems to be impossible. Making a phonemail? Forget it, I waited 10 minutes to get someone on the line to no avail. This cost me over 3 euros which is a lot of money if you don' have any income.
Why is life so hard hen it could be so easy?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I remembered the shower knob today and yesterday. So I'm relieved with that.


----------



## rawrguy

I feel jittery today because I haven't slept very much in the past few days and I'm highly caffeinated


----------



## CNikki

I really don't know. Kind of don't want to know right now. It could be the anxiety kicking in or it could be something legit to worry about...


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm having a bad bad day. I owe over 1000 back in taxes. I go forwards just to end up going backwards. Now, I'm wondering if I'll even be able to afford my trailer. I'll barely be able to.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm having a bad bad day. I owe over 1000 back in taxes. I go forwards just to end up going backwards. Now, I'm wondering if I'll even be able to afford my trailer. I'll barely be able to.


 How did this happen? I am really terrible with money and math and financial stuff so I am curious. The last time I worked, I always got money back. But I have no idea how I made that happen. It just did.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> How did this happen? I am really terrible with money and math and financial stuff so I am curious. The last time I worked, I always got money back. But I have no idea how I made that happen. It just did.


Apparently, they weren't even taking out 10 percent on my paychecks for some reason. I'm not sure how this ended up happening but I have to fill a form out and let my boss know about this. So I have to owe back a lot at once cause they were only taking out so little. :/ This is a major bummer for me but no point in fretting over it I guess.

Whenever it got to a point I had to owe taxes, I never thought it would be this much! I thought it wpuls only be like 500 maximum.


----------



## Citrine79

Lonely, cold and super hopeless....wintertime is so freaking depressing.


----------



## Fever Dream

Ugh, of course while I'm on vacation it turns out that I'd get sick. I hope it's not covid, and if I felt up to it I'd go get a home test. I'm tired of laying in this bed, but at the same time I don't want to get up.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Fever Dream said:


> Ugh, of course while I'm on vacation it turns out that I'd get sick. I hope it's not covid, and if I felt up to it I'd go get a home test. I'm tired of laying in this bed, but at the same time I don't want to get up.


 Do you have someone you can call to see if they can arrange something?


----------



## Fever Dream

WillYouStopDave said:


> Do you have someone you can call to see if they can arrange something?


Nope, not at all. I don't really even have that at home.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Fever Dream said:


> Nope, not at all. I don't really even have that at home.


 What are the symptoms? If you have a CVS or Walgreens nearby they are probably doing testing. Though you might have to wait until tomorrow. If you can possibly push yourself to drive there, I'd not wait.


----------



## Fever Dream

WillYouStopDave said:


> What are the symptoms? If you have a CVS or Walgreens nearby they are probably doing testing. Though you might have to wait until tomorrow. If you can possibly push yourself to drive there, I'd not wait.


All the pharmacy's are closed right now. I'll have to go tomorrow. 

Most of the symptoms aren't bad. I have some coughing and congestion, although after getting some rest it seems to have improved. I have a slight headache and fever, too. The worst of it that I'm just really exhausted, and all my muscles are aching.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Fever Dream said:


> All the pharmacy's are closed right now. I'll have to go tomorrow.
> 
> Most of the symptoms aren't bad. I have some coughing and congestion, although after getting some rest it seems to have improved. I have a slight headache and fever, too. The worst of it that I'm just really exhausted, and all my muscles are aching.


 That definitely sounds concerning. Hopefully you will be able to get a test and get some answers.


----------



## Fever Dream

WillYouStopDave said:


> That definitely sounds concerning. Hopefully you will be able to get a test and get some answers.


Thanks. It's suppose to be much warmer tomorrow so hopefully I'll feel much more enthused about going outside.


----------



## harrison

Slightly weird. I think I might have done too much today and got myself a bit worked up. Not good for my head.


----------



## Fever Dream

It's early Saturday morning, my body is trying to expel all of the phlegm out of my chest, all of my joints are sore, and I'm hopped up on cough syrup. All things considered, it could be worse.


----------



## Protozoan

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Protozoan said:


> FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK


What happened? 😬


----------



## Fever Dream

It's not covid, it's just the regular plain old flu.


----------



## CNikki

Sluggish. The kind where you're mentally aware of it but physically just not having it and therefore it's bothersome.

One of those days...


----------



## CNikki

Tired.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Pretty mad honestly. I get tired of having to hear *****ing about a character on a show of all things. Lol I could hear it from across the room. Who gets this mad about a friggin character? 🤦‍♀️ I couldn't help but get annoyed. Just calm down. It's not that bad.. Good thing this doesn't happen all the time.

At least the *****ing is finally over. Ugh. Plus, I got my headphones to somewhat cancel out that cringeness. It about drove me crazy. 😂


----------



## CNikki

Is it considered spam if I say 'Tired' for the second or third time already...? 

Might call it an early night.


----------



## M0rbid

weird


----------



## Omni-slash

Hated. Numb. Inconsequential.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Super confused after watching a deep YouTube video. 🥴


----------



## Citrine79

Pretty discouraged and low in spirits. So hard to find any positivity or the slightest bit of hopein anything these days.


----------



## CNikki

A little bit conflicted. Not sure if I should attempt at reaching out to someone, even for the sake of clearing the air, or if I should just leave everything alone completely. She still has me added on an IM site/app but who knows for how long.


----------



## Crisigv

This has been a rough time so far. I'm so depressed.


----------



## M0rbid

I hate working for Fedex and outdoors delivering.


----------



## Citrine79

Frustrated with work yet again. The same nonsense happens over and over again. Plus, everything and everyone is getting on my nerves again…it is a never ending bad mood.


----------



## NoLife93

Empty


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Like such a morning person now. 😂 I cooked after 11 this morning and had my lunch done after 12. I'm still a night owl too so I guess that makes me an all day person. 🤣


----------



## Citrine79

Meh and kind of sluggish…had a bad migraine earlier and while the headache is gone, still dealing with the after effects. More times than not of late, it seems the “after” is worse than the actual headache itself.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Citrine79 said:


> Meh and kind of sluggish…had a bad migraine earlier and while the headache is gone, still dealing with the after effects. More times than not of late, it seems the “after” is worse than the actual headache itself.


 I don't know if my headaches are migraines but when they eventually ease, I usually feel pretty good. However, it's kind of a bad time because my headaches often come and go multiple times before they finally go away for good. So I will usually sit and worry it'll come back. They're bad enough that they take me out of action for lengthy periods of time.


----------



## Blue Dino

Feeling better after the handful of BMs this morning.  I hope all it is is just mild case of food poisoning. Although some of the symptoms yesterday, I was paranoid I might started getting sepsis and was preparing to have to go or be taken to the ER (closest one is a 30min drive away) in the middle of the night or this morning.


----------



## Protozoan

Dead tired but still can't sleep.


----------



## CNikki

Queasy. 

I'm not even hungover.


----------



## Citrine79

Not good at all. These two days…Super Bowl Sunday and Valentines Day always make me feel sad and lonely and are yet another reminder to me that I am a black sheep to this world and will always be on the outside looking in.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

It feels like a curse in ways enjoying free time and not getting bored easily. But at the same time it isn't or I'd be...well, bored. I've been working late shifts since December and I'm always ready to get home before I even go to work. I never get off at 4 PM 3 days a week anymore. It's either 6 PM when I get off three times a week and two times a week I get off at 7, which I hate getting off at 7. Lol Even though my drive home is only 4 minutes away, by the time I'm done eating and washing up and doing laundry it's already like 7:45 or 8 PM. It isn't the worst but still feels like I don't have much time when I get home. 6 PM isn't bad, though. I guess it better than getting home at 10 PM and only having 2 hours before I go to bed.


----------



## Citrine79

Tired, hopeless and frustrated. Same crap…both work and outside of it…over and over again. I used to at least kind of care and want to help/fix things. But after being burned a number of times and learning it really gets you nowhere….again both at work and outside of work…I just don’t care anymore.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

So, I had to do this guy's work again when it isn't even my job to do it. I could at least get some appreciation from him but nope. I get nothing for doing his work. He hardly does anything so he should be the one to have to do it. And on top of it all, I had someone say they would give me 5 dollars for the stuff I had marked down then he just laughed it off cause he was joking, which I didn't think was funny at all after saying you'll give me 5 dollars. It felt like he was laughing at me cause he really wasn't giving me any money. Thanks I guess...Then, I had someone yell at me for me simply asking a question. Some day this was. Still feel as much of a loser as I did when I was in HS. _sigh_

I get treated like crap sometimes. I'll just try to make the rest of my day better.


----------



## thomasjune

I feel numb.


----------



## Blue Dino

Still feeling unsettled from the food poisoning a few days ago, likely (hoping it is) from the week old hummus. And really hoping it's just that and that I will gradually get better, even if it's slowly.


----------



## CNikki

I've had better nights...


----------



## Socialmisfits

Nervous, there is a storm brewing, hopefully no damage the coming days!


----------



## CNikki

Like I've been crying even though I wasn't. Not yet.


----------



## Citrine79

It is a going to be a lonnngggg day. Up way too early and anxious, ear is bothering me again, more snow is on the way soon and have work to do that are some of the worst and most monotonous tasks.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater




----------



## narmeenshaikh017

artynerd said:


> This is just a place to vent, feel happy or feel sad or whatever your mood!
> 
> But if you are feeling glum, this is to anyone who needs a hug!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _hugs_ =]
> 
> and if you are having a rough day, just know that someone out there cares about you.


Can we post messages and confession anonymously here?


----------



## Citrine79

Citrine79 said:


> It is a going to be a lonnngggg day. Up way too early and anxious, ear is bothering me again, more snow is on the way soon and have work to do that are some of the worst and most monotonous tasks.


Somehow managed to get through the day (thanks caffeine) and got a fairly decent amount done...even the worst stuff wasn’t that bad. Ear is still bothersome but slightly better and less annoying. Still obsessing about the weather though.


----------



## CNikki

Tired and, quite frankly, a little bit pissed. Hopefully a nap will subside some of the physical pain such as this headache from it.


----------



## Citrine79

Cold and lonely…and as if I was not already feeling terrible enough both inside and out…that time of the month has arrived to add even more misery.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Legs are a bit sore from having to do this extra stuff at work. 😒


----------



## zonebox

Intoxicated, and quite well at the moment


----------



## Citrine79

Another sad Sunday…plus cramps are pretty bad this time around making me feel even more miserable.


----------



## CNikki

Tired. Shouldn't have woken up so early, especially since I was awakened a few times during the night...


----------



## coeur_brise

On the edge of happy. I'm well-rested and all but.. it feels like I'm about to sneeze but it's not coming through therefore I'm left without a sneeze. Underwhelmed maybe.


----------



## Citrine79

Dragging myself through the workday thanks to caffeine.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater




----------



## Crisigv

It's been a very bad stretch for me. But today I felt a little better after a workout.


----------



## dearestjane

narmeenshaikh017 said:


> Can we post messages and confession anonymously here?


For sure! This would be interesting 😆


----------



## dearestjane

CRUMMY! I just e-mailed my professor about dropping this internship course. I was given a couple leads for internships. One of them was at this really cool company, and for a hot minute I actually thought I could do it, make it happen. I am trying not to beat myself too much about it. I am doing what I feel is best for my mental health...is this the best thing? I'm trying, I'm trying...no one can say I am not trying.


----------



## CNikki

Tired and it doesn't help that I woke up with a headache (not a hangover).


----------



## Citrine79

Anxious and uneasy. Continue to be in a really bad place.


----------



## CNikki

Of all times stating that I am tired, now close to midnight it's the opposite case of being wide awake. And I have to get up early in the morning.


----------



## Blue Dino

Overwhelmed with various worries.


----------



## Citrine79

Not feeling it today…at all. Was already more anxious than usual but checking the news plus the storm that is coming today plus the fact my workload is full of the worst of the worst tasks…ugh!


----------



## andy1984

feel like I'm not even in my body today, or I'm still dreaming. things have been upsetting my routine. my self esteem was threatened. I've not been doing my exercise - I was meant to take a break after booster shot, and i did. I spent extra time just napping. like napping is the best option lately.


----------



## harrison

Much better than yesterday. This medication really pisses me off.


----------



## Blue Dino

Felt okay. Slept nearly 8 hours last night, which is probably the best I've slept in a very long time. Feeling a bit drained nonetheless, which I am sure has nothing to do with my sleep, but rather something underlying. Or that maybe I haven't ate much today.🙁


----------



## CNikki

The feeling that I want this day to be over with. TGIF?


----------



## Citrine79

There just does not seem to be any end to my misery and bleak/hopeless view of the world. The last few days have been pretty bad…even for me. And today…feeling so cold, empty and lonely. I have plenty of work to do today but already finding it to be a challenge.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling very worthless today


----------



## Citrine79

Meh….😒. I will be going out for awhile today so I guess that is something.


----------



## zonebox

Feeling pretty good, I have a bit of rum, listening to music, and have been building my own little fantasy world.


























​This is in opensim. Currently I'm listening to music streaming from the region I'm playing in. Earlier I was racing around on a motorcycle, then I decided to hop over to another server to shoot a few zombies, somewhere in between I spent time shopping for free things to decorate my land with. I also have had a few nice conversations with people who are more or less like myself ie a bit different.

When I think of a metaverse, this is more or less it. It has been around for over a decade, has better graphics than the majority of the scams crypto enthusiasts are currently producing. It is even VR capable, although my own experience with VR was a bit of a chore. This one happens to be free, you can hop from one server to another, much like the web (in fact it uses URLS), you can script games, furniture, whatever really, you can host your own worlds. It is kind of like having a web browser that takes you to different sites, the difference being it is in 3D. I think of it kind of like sims hopped up on steroids and stimulants.

I'm surprised it never did catch on, I guess it is a bit complicated and that turns people off. The server I'm in, only has about twenty people on it, other servers that host opensim probably have a hundred or so at a time. I also like to log into second life, that has a lot more participants and I typically see 40,000 - 50,000 active participants. Second life is what Opensim is based on, but while that is free to create an account for, land costs money and it can get pretty expensive.

It is kind of funny, earlier this month there was this rather large story about NFTs and the metaverse, there was a fashion show, and it made a few news stories, considering most of the attempts we have seen so far for creating user generated worlds are severely lacking, they used SecondLife to host it. I don't think the outfits for sale are able to be used in SecondLife though, or for that matter OpenSim. Supposedly they can be used in 1400 different platforms, but I really doubt there are 1400 different metaverses that work with NFTs. I have further difficulties understanding how it will look in a lot of these platforms, if you look into metaverses you will notice huge graphical differences, what might look like a shiny gold dress with great detail in Second Life, may be a blurry representation elsewhere. Also, if you read the original article, you will find no mention of Second Life at all, which only leads to the shady nature I find in these things.. People hear the word metaverse, and much like a key to a lock, they are easily opened to it. Neverminded the fact, that no one seems to know what a metaverse actually is 🤣 It is more so just an abstract idea, that everyone wants.

Here is an article regarding it:








How the metaverse is putting its stamp on the runway at Fashion Week


The future of fashion?




www.glamourmagazine.co.uk





A link to the designer, and the NFT products they are selling:


https://mvfw.everyrealm.com/



I would suggest against purchasing NFTs myself. Especially when they are incredibly vague, plus the fact that often you are not sure what you are buying, more than likely just a link to an image. Combine NFTs which are vague, and the metaverse, that is probably just a recipe for disaster, and the only value you will probably find is to hope someone else will buy it from you at a higher price... that is if you don't lose it to the multitude of vulnerabilities, and the bubble doesn't burst to people losing interest. The entire metaverse hype is pretty crazy, and to me appears to be a huge cash grab for a lot of people.

There is certainly a ton of hype as of late regarding metaverses, I'm not sure what has spurred it on, I imagine Facebook moving toward creating a new metaverse, called "Meta". Or perhaps Facebook was spurred on by the excitement of the other self proclaimed metaverses out there. 

Regardless, Meta looks absolutely horrid, but it really has people excited. I do know, I was in 3d worlds back in the 90s, this is not at all new. I will get excited, when we can actually immerse ourselves in virtual worlds, as in bypass all of our senses - rather than have to put on a annoying set of goggles. I mean, VR is awesome, but not quite worth the hype for multiplayer VR worlds. Ready Player One while a great movie, made it appear that is what was happening, a complete immersion into a fantasy world.. we are not quite there and this is more or less the same old technology we have had for decades. In fact, one of the virtual worlds still runs and has scary memes due to how dead it is:


https://www.activeworlds.com







But hey, nevermind that 









Behold the future, Facebook Meta! To be fair, it probably will run on your phone









Yo! Hey kid, ya wanna buy some shoes for $500? Only top quality in Decentraland
Don't miss out, this is the future!​
But yeah, I'm feeling pretty good right now. Perhaps a bit overly talkative, I get that way when I am happy and excited


----------



## Citrine79

Not good…not good at all.


----------



## CNikki

Could be better, could be worse. Have a little bit of the sniffles and sore throat but I highly doubt that there is anything to be concerned about. I still have my sense of taste and smell and no fever.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless, sober, & dissatified


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Nuclear war is one of my biggest fears but I hadn't really thought about it in several years so it's going to be difficult to relax right now. 😞


----------



## LydeaCharlotteGirl

Yes, I'm very scared about the Ukraine situation. Also sick already of a (hopefully) more mundane thing that I have to do (to my mother), for a while, twice a day (it's related to a tiresome medical issue, and obviously absolutely essential even though the treatment might not work). It is a nuisance, though.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm getting tired. Going to bed now.


----------



## Citrine79

Overwhelmed…and totally alone.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm feeling okay so far. Hopefully the day goes well. Will be coming home to a hockey game, so that's nice.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

My legs are feeling kind of nice after exercising for 50 minutes. I needed to get a good workout with them.


----------



## CNikki

PurplePeopleEater said:


> My legs are feeling kind of nice after exercising for 50 minutes. I needed to get a good workout with them.


I've been slacking so hard lately that I was barely able to do 20 minutes this morning (though to be fair I still do feel a bit unwell and likely not enough water intake.) Sucks that it feels like I'm back at base one.


----------



## Citrine79

Doing a slight bit better and managed to get at least some things done.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

CNikki said:


> I've been slacking so hard lately that I was barely able to do 20 minutes this morning (though to be fair I still do feel a bit unwell and likely not enough water intake.) Sucks that it feels like I'm back at base one.


That sounds rough. I'm not sure if I could handle going while I'm sick. But then again, if I have a cold or something I usually like to move around instead of lay down. 


I haven't been since like 3 weeks after the pandemic started. So, I've been overdue for going back to the gym. I missed going there kind of.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sore back


----------



## Crisigv

I'm lonely


----------



## Citrine79

Anxious and uneasy.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I feel like an alien. 😔 I don't belong in this world in the slightest.


----------



## CNikki

Well, feeling a bit better with this cold. But with recent notifications on certain things it is not making me feel very good right now.


----------



## Citrine79

Frustrated with everything.


----------



## CNikki

Cranky. I wish that I just continued sleeping and perhaps have a full 10 - 12 hours of it at best.


----------



## carol000

Is hard to say im having suicidal thoughts again, but it is true. (If there is someone reading this, dont worry about it. I dont think i would have the guts do actually do anything about it.)
I've been crying a lot because i've realized i dont belong anywhere. I feel like i never will, and i hate myself for that because my family is amazing, but i dont feel like i belong with them either. I'd die for my parents. I'd die so they could have another child that would bring them joy and make them proud, because God knows they deserve it. Everytime i think about it there is a mix of grief and love. I feel like an impostor all the time, guilty and alone.
I've lost all my friends during the past years. Before the time of now I've moved from where i was raised with a silly little dream that it would be okay. i seriously dont know why i didnt got sad at the time, it took years to get sad about it. I've lost my friends and kept touch with only one of them but i dont consider us close anymore. I've always had social anxiety, now that i know what it is, i can look back and pin point exactly when i developed and why but it doesnt matter, im already like this, still i went into my compulsive mode and made a friend that already had a group and for a moment i thought my social anxiety was manegeable. 
Social, general or whatever it can be since i self diagnose, anxiety defines my personality even when i tried to tame it. It haunted me from the time i realized i was the punchline since i was a little kid without giving a reason. It haunted me when i realized im 23 and never kissed a guy or had a relationship. It haunted when i throw up because im on an edge. It haunted every stomach ache. It haunts me for not being able to keep a job because I couldn't stop ****ing crying from the pressure i've put on myself. It haunts now that years have passed and i see people who i used to be friends with graduating when i spent the last years existing and trying to find passion and desire in anything at all, sometimes out of desperation so i wouldnt feel useless. 
Everything i tried to do failed, every fake it till you make it, self help books, prayers, bibles (like i need a ****ing exorcism), mantras, meditation, positive thinking.
I've been all of these versions trying to get better, why cant i? Seriously, why cant i just get better?
Anxiety has turned into a tornado destroying it all on its path and still is and i only have myself to blame of all the could have beens.
I can't live with the guilt and shame that comes it what destruction. The dependency and the moral destruction that i put myself through everyday.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I told my mother about the gym and she texted me asking if it fun. 🤣 Thought that was funny.


----------



## Citrine79

Meh…at least it is Friday.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I regret taking a hot shower. Now I feel really hot. 🥵 Turned my AC on.


----------



## Were

Sad.


----------



## zonebox

A little confused and sad.


----------



## Citrine79

Feeling a tiny bit less anxious but still not doing well at this time.


----------



## zonebox

A bit tired, and not looking forward to driving two hours.. otherwise pretty good. I'm looking forward to tonight, and hopefully a little nap in five or six hours.


----------



## Crisigv

I guess I'll feel sad today.


----------



## andy1984

my mouth hurts


----------



## zonebox

It has been six hours since my last post, I'm back home and ready for a nap. Think I'll put on some boring TV to whisk me away to mah dreamlands.


----------



## M0rbid

Feeling constipated


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling a little sentimental right now, no doubt enhanced due to the effects of being slightly intoxicated. The candles lit in the background also seem to play a factor in it, ya know, the entire candle slowly burning away is symbolic to me. I used to feel the same way even as a kid, watching our campfire dwindle away, and it was to some degree hypnotic staring into the flames watching it slowly wither away into nothing but glowing embers.

Now I'm worried people may think I'm a pyro 😜 Fire kind of scares me actually, when I was younger I was a junior firefighter, and I saw the havoc it can cause, how quickly it can spread out of control. My father was a captain of the fire department in our town and was terrified of it as well, that stuff can get pretty scary. We had a lot of precautions in our household when I was growing up, escape routes in the house in case it started on fire, fire extinguishers, long lectures, etc. The stories he would tell me of his time spent fighting fires were pretty scary, so were the ones of when he worked as an EMT..


----------



## Citrine79

Indecisive and uneasy.


----------



## CNikki

Pretty irritated.


----------



## andy1984

15 mins in and super headachey already.


----------



## Citrine79

Not doing well…having my Sunday night anxiety flare up.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I come home on late shift and have to wait 30 minutes to take a shower cause someone else just took one. Ugh, I hate days like that. Every trailer should have two showers at least. 😒


----------



## CNikki

I have to say a bit refreshed since I can remember in a very long time.


----------



## Tetragammon

I know I'm _really_ feeling like crap when I feel like listening to funeral doom... I'd like to snap out of this mood any day now. Although I suppose the first anniversary of my dad's death in a few days is probably a major factor.


----------



## zonebox

@Tetragammon I hope things get better for you soon, and I am sorry for the past year of heartache you have experienced from the loss of your father.


----------



## Blue Dino

Feeling like I might have an oncoming cold.


----------



## Citrine79

Not even an hour into to day and I am already frustrated and annoyed beyond belief.


----------



## zonebox

I had a dental cleaning, so I took a valium and now I am more or less in zombie mode.


----------



## Crisigv

Proud of myself after another workout. This week I'm jogging for longer at a time. I can do this!


----------



## CNikki

Mind wondering late at night. How else should I really feel about it other than trying not to wallow too much?


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Getting sleepy. 😴


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Confused.


----------



## Citrine79

Disgusted on a number of levels.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like the black sheep in the family.


----------



## coeur_brise

Strangely calm.


----------



## LostinReverie

Such a lonely day and it's mine. The most loneliest day of my life. Such a lonely day should be banned. It's a day that I can't stand.

(System of a Down)


----------



## zonebox

Pretty good, other than my lip. I think while mowing the lawn on Monday a spider might have bit it. Later on Monday night I noticed little blisters on my lip which concerned me, also my wrist was incredibly itchy. I imagine I must have slightly felt the bite and rubbed my face with my wrist unconsciously and the little bugger must have then attacked my wrist. Of course, I had a dental visit the next day and it looked like I had herpes on mah lip 🤣I explained to the dental assistant that I likely got bitten the day before. Now I see two clearly distinct marks on my lip that are the telltale sign of a spider bite, and they are healing so I'm not very worried about it.

I'm usually very careful when mowing the yard, keeping an eye out for webs, and also snakes. I did not see any webs outside, but perhaps all of the dust being picked up while I was mowing the leaves that have been accumulating carried a spider with it. Thankfully at the very least, it wasn't a widow - we get a lot of brown widows in this area. Even more fortunate is that it was not a brown recluse, those things scare the jeebus out of me and having a bite on the lip would potentially leave me without a lip. Fortunately, it doesn't hurt, it just is very noticeable by feel. I keep puckering my lips together because it doesn't feel like it belong there.. oh well. It is slowly healing and I expect I won't even notice it by Monday. It will be just another thing forgotten, and perhaps in a few years I will be looking through my previous posts on this forum, and come across this one and remember.


----------



## Citrine79

Quite uneasy.


----------



## floyd the barber

Dumb.


----------



## CNikki

Like I want this day to be over with.


----------



## Citrine79

Meh…cold and lonely. Cannot believe it is snowing yet again.


----------



## CNikki

Tired, crampish, and just need a nice glass of wine or two in hopes that I'll just temporarily relax.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm in a bad mood cause of paper stuff for my car. I don't know why I overlooked this paper I got in the mail like 5 months ago. I assumed it was for renewing my current vehicle before my birthday. So now I have to pay almost a 100 dollar fee cause apparently I had to cancel the registration on my old car, which I didn't know. Lol Why did I overlook this paper? 5 months I've had this paper and I wait until now? So, that's a chunk of money down the drain cause of a mistake I made. Wait, it says if I no longer own the vehicle I can discard the paper. Well, where is the paper I got for renewing my current vehicle? Unless I just threw that out or lost it. 😑 Might have to do it in person instead of online.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm in a bad mood cause of paper stuff for my car. I don't know why I overlooked this paper I got in the mail like 5 months ago. I assumed it was for renewing my current vehicle before my birthday. So now I have to pay almost a 100 dollar fee cause apparently I had to cancel the registration on my old car, which I didn't know. Lol Why did I overlook this paper? 5 months I've had this paper and I wait until now? So, that's a chunk of money down the drain cause of a mistake I made. Wait, it says if I no longer own the vehicle I can discard the paper. Well, where is the paper I got for renewing my current vehicle? Unless I just threw that out or lost it. 😑 Might have to do it in person instead of online.


 I just found out a couple days ago that the BMV in my state actually sells people's personal information to various companies. How crazy is that? I mean they don't sell it to just anyone. Supposedly, they only sell it to people like debt collectors, private investigators and so forth but still. The first time they sell it to one bad apple, that bad apple sells it to everyone else.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> I just found out a couple days ago that the BMV in my state actually sells people's personal information to various companies. How crazy is that? I mean they don't sell it to just anyone. Supposedly, they only sell it to people like debt collectors, private investigators and so forth but still. The first time they sell it to one bad apple, that bad apple sells it to everyone else.


Yikes. I've come to learn over the past 6 years that things that should be illegal somehow aren't illegal. But no surprise there. 😂


----------



## Citrine79

Got the usual Sunday blues already. Plus it is cold and snowing again so that makes me feel extra miserable.


----------



## floyd the barber

stoned and cold


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Slightly annoyed with cracking hands. 😆 My left hand had a long streak of blood just from cracking. Guess it's time to bring out the lotion again.


----------



## Citrine79

Annoyed and frustrated.


----------



## CNikki

Still tired. Don't feel like doing anything even though I have to.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm really missing all my loved ones who have passed. This month is already a year since my aunt passed, and next month is a year for my other aunt.


----------



## CNikki

...Yet it's the one act/comment some 'acquaintance' did earlier that kind of killed my mood tonight. Nice.


----------



## Tetragammon

Feeling somewhat better lately, even though I'm still having to stay upstairs with my mom until 9-10 PM every night; the time change with Daylight Savings is really messing with us both. I just feel kind of bored... Especially with food. I REALLY need to find some new, good, non-dairy recipes!


----------



## coeur_brise

It felt like my mind/the universe went through a contraction. I hope it gives birth to something good.


----------



## Citrine79

I have been having a hard time with work of late but today was probably one of the worst as far as being productive/motivation. I think at least part of it is the fact that this week is 2 years of working from home with no end in sight. One or two days a week in the office would be beneficial for me in many ways.


----------



## Crisigv

Proud of myself for pushing through this workout.


----------



## Fever Dream

I think I’m just ready to be done with it.


----------



## thomasjune

Pretty good. I've survived another miserable day and now I get to try and move on again.


----------



## alwaysrunning

There are some builders setting up outside on the building a few doors up. I always feel a reluctance to go out when this happens. I wish I had that cloak like the girl in Dungeons and Dragons; she puts it up when she wants to be invisible. It's strange as I don't mind builders down other streets but I will sometimes not go down those streets if they are there.


----------



## pillbugger

Oh joy. A long time ago, I've made 3 AM my bedtime, since that's when neighbors generally shut up, I've noticed.

But tonight, the upstairs neighbor couple are fighting, and are making noise well past that time.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Not amused.


----------



## CNikki

Thrown off and unmotivated. Can the time change still be blamed?


----------



## andy1984

rested, finally. I had a nap yesterday, so even though there was noise during the night, i feel like i caught up on sleep. amd I'm excited/apprehensive about upcoming date.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

CNikki said:


> Thrown off and unmotivated. Can the time change still be blamed?


 Yes!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

With gas being expensive, 2 hours total of driving to go see my family for my birthday is a lot. I thought we were going out to eat but I guess not. 😬 It would only be an hour total going out to eat. I told my sister gas is expensive. She said the house or a restaurant is fine with her but told me she doesn't blame me if I don't want to drive that far. I don't feel obligated to go all the way to their house but I'm hesitant and can't decide. Lol


----------



## Crisigv

Just done with the day. I miss having someone to confide in, or at least distract me.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm honestly excited about losing weight. It looks like I lost maybe 15 pounds. Takes like a month to lose 20 pounds. I'm feeling great. 😃


----------



## Citrine79

Distracted and disappointed.


----------



## andy1984

oxytocin supplies are up. everything feels with clarity. more able to function and enjoy. a little something to look forward to and a little hope goes a long way. feeling human.


----------



## M0rbid

skittish


----------



## Blue Dino

WillYouStopDave said:


> I just found out a couple days ago that the BMV in my state actually sells people's personal information to various companies. How crazy is that? I mean they don't sell it to just anyone. Supposedly, they only sell it to people like debt collectors, private investigators and so forth but still. The first time they sell it to one bad apple, that bad apple sells it to everyone else.


Same with my state. It was actually exposed by the local news outlets here years ago, and their official response to the backlash was pretty much "yeah, and this is gonna continue... what yall gonna do about it?" A while later, it was actually found the public utilities company here also do the same, and it was the same response. Then later, many of the police departments also sell info to 3rd parties they collected from license plate readers. 

Personally I've always be someone who could care less what info of me the government has or how they surveillance me if they do. But my biggest fear and paranoia was always at them selling it to the wrong hands for profit. Apparently that's true.


----------



## Starcut83

Emotional pain in my chest but everything is good...even good things can bring pain...things aren't where I want them but they're appearing to be headed in that direction...I need to be more patient and grateful...come back to the moment. If I don't slow down I'm gonna crash, when am I gonna learn?


----------



## CNikki

Hungover.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I can't stop looking at my hamster. Lol Put him in his rolling ball and watched him go at it. Seems to be getting better. 🤣


----------



## pillbugger

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I can't stop looking at my hamster. Lol Put him in his rolling ball and watched him go at it. Seems to be getting better. 🤣


A hamster? I've heard that if you play the Hampster Dance Song, they start dancing to it!


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

pillbugger said:


> A hamster? I've heard that if you play the Hampster Dance Song, they start dancing to it!


I remember this song. Lmao 💀


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I can't stop looking at my hamster. Lol Put him in his rolling ball and watched him go at it. Seems to be getting better. 🤣


 Did you name your hamster? I think if I had one I'd call him Richard. Or maybe Ron or Charlie. "Here's you some hamster food, Charlie!"


----------



## andy1984

💩

man life is so enjoyable /s

lol but it kind of is


----------



## Citrine79

Indecisive.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> Did you name your hamster? I think if I had one I'd call him Richard. Or maybe Ron or Charlie. "Here's you some hamster food, Charlie!"


I just gave it the name Hammy. 🤣

Lol I could not see giving an animal a human's name but that would be hilarious. 😂


----------



## CNikki

Like I don't want this week to start because of uncertainties with how my scheduling will be. I'll try to prolong the anxiousness as much as possible...


----------



## coeur_brise

Not terrible despite living a sheltered life in a bunker half the time. But it's Sunday so it wont last that long.


----------



## Crisigv

Absolutely horrible. I should be getting over this.


----------



## Citrine79

Unmotivated and grump as per usual on Monday mornings.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> Did you name your hamster? I think if I had one I'd call him Richard. Or maybe Ron or Charlie. "Here's you some hamster food, Charlie!"


I just gave it the name Hammy. 🤣

Lol I could not see giving an animal a human's name but that would be hilarious. 😂


----------



## Crisigv

The pms is really hitting this month, jeez


----------



## dontworrybehappy

Depression kicked my arse this weekend. Feel like I cried more times the last few days than I've cried in years. And my insecurity is skyrocketing out of control


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Been hella busy between reading a book, learning a language, cooking and other things. I don't like being too busy. Lol It sucks. I'll just try it out for awhile but I've already been doing it for a month and I'm still not used to it. Sometimes, I just want to lay down and chill, which for me is better in ways. Its impossible to do enough of 4 things in one day on top of overtime. Even without overtime, there's never enough time in the day to get it all done. I don't see how people always stay busy for years without getting burnt out.


----------



## zonebox

Once again, I'm worried about my younger brother. He hasn't been on messenger since March 11th, and the last he spoke to me he had hurt his ribs. He sometimes goes a while without writing back, or reading his messages.. I am just worried he is stuck because his ribs might have received a hairline fracture. If I lived closer I would check in on him, if he had someone I knew living closer to him I would have them check on him. Unfortunately, it is just out of my reach and travelling 1200 miles is not possible.


----------



## andy1984

hungry and bored and thirsty


----------



## WillYouStopDave

My head is pulsating. And not in a good way (is it ever a good thing if your head is pulsating?)


----------



## zonebox

WillYouStopDave said:


> My head is pulsating.


Hope you feel better soon, I hate when that happens to me.


----------



## Citrine79

Frustrated!!!


----------



## WillYouStopDave

zonebox said:


> Hope you feel better soon, I hate when that happens to me.


 Thanks. It did eventually get better but it was a long couple of days.


----------



## CNikki

Tired and aloof from it all. I don't care if I'm not the best at anything, but there really is no need to feel like I'm inferior enough to simply not do anything at all. But it is what it is.


----------



## coeur_brise

I feel cold. Winter just won't end!


----------



## Citrine79

The more I think about something, the worse it gets. This is true of several things right now actually. And it is making me feel awful.


----------



## pillbugger

coeur_brise said:


> I feel cold. Winter just won't end!


What a weird thing to say for someone who has an ice crystal as their profile pic.


----------



## Fever Dream

Like I'm spinning my wheels and all my effort is juat burying me deeper.


----------



## coeur_brise

pillbugger said:


> What a weird thing to say for someone who has an ice crystal as their profile pic.


I just come from a cold climate is all. I can tolerate but only so much. It's cold here 6-7 months out of the year, so that explains the profile pic. I should change it to fire but doesnt really fit my current surroundings.


----------



## copper

My lower back is killing me. I knew I would pay for it for shoveling the boulders of snow that the maintainer left at the end of my driveway. Couldn't use the blower. Had to shovel it. I have Physical Intervention training in two weeks. Hope my back settles down before then.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sweaty


----------



## CNikki

Like I just want to rest my head on a pillow and sleep for a few nice hours. I'd say that I can't wait for the weekend to be here but it'll just be fleeting and foggy that prohibits me from taking in the time spent off...


----------



## zonebox

Depressed, it has been two weeks since my brother has checked his messages today, and I don't know what to do. The last I heard from him, he said he hurt his ribs and perhaps he just hasn't had time to charge his phone. I am on the verge of having a welfare check performed but worried that doing so might get him kicked out of his current site as he is homeless. I keep thinking of him laying dead in his tent, and it is really getting to me. Alternatively, I imagine I call the police in his area and having them check on him, only for him to have his entire site ripped apart and thrown away.

He has gone two weeks in the past without checking in or writing to me, but it is rare. I don't know what I am going to do, I think the only thing I can do is call my eldest brother who lives about two hours away and see if he will check in on him, I'm not sure if he will considering they do not get along at all. I don't want to tell my parents, since they don't need that kind of stress and they wouldn't be able to do anything either.


----------



## Citrine79

Been over a week now and still bothered by and ruminating about something. Have a growing work related issue that my boss is trying to make me fix but should absolutely be looked into by her as it is a nightmare of a problem. Going to have to bring it up at our conference call Monday and will likely be thinking about it a great deal over the weekend. And it is going to be cold and snowing…yet again which always wrecks my mood. So instead of feeling good and upbeat on a Friday…I am the opposite.


----------



## discopotato

lonely. Its my birthday tomorrow and I just want to curl into a ball and cease to exist.


----------



## zonebox

A little better, I called my oldest brother to inquire as to what I should do about my youngest brother. My oldest brother just retired from being a police officer, and calmed me down a bit and gave me a lot of helpful information, he also helped with the guilt I have been feeling over this. I've decided not to do a wellness check on my youngest, because there is the possibility that he will be kicked out of his site. It might just be that he has not charged his phone, due to hurting his ribs. I'm going to do my best not to imagine the worst case scenario.

It is likely that we would have been informed if the worst were to have occurred, so that is a pretty good relief to have. It is nice having family that knows how this sort of stuff works.

Hopefully my youngest brother will be in contact with me soon, and have a laugh at my concern for him.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

zonebox said:


> A little better, I called my oldest brother to inquire as to what I should do about my youngest brother. My oldest brother just retired from being a police officer, and calmed me down a bit and gave me a lot of helpful information, he also helped with the guilt I have been feeling over this. I've decided not to do a wellness check on my youngest, because there is the possibility that he will be kicked out of his site. It might just be that he has not charged his phone, due to hurting his ribs. I'm going to do my best not to imagine the worst case scenario.
> 
> It is likely that we would have been informed if the worst were to have occurred, so that is a pretty good relief to have. It is nice having family that knows how this sort of stuff works.
> 
> Hopefully my youngest brother will be in contact with me soon, and have a laugh at my concern for him.


 Oh man. I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds like hell for someone with anxiety issues. My mother was in the hospital (with us not knowing the exactness of everything) for a few days and I thought I was going to go crazy from worry.


----------



## zonebox

WillYouStopDave said:


> Oh man. I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds like hell for someone with anxiety issues. My mother was in the hospital (with us not knowing the exactness of everything) for a few days and I thought I was going to go crazy from worry.


Yeah, it sucks miserably. It has been in the back of my head for a while now, and I even noticed it having a physical impact on me. But, a wellness check was put on him regardless. My two older brothers talked after I got off the phone with my eldest, and they decided to place one on him.. my eldest brother will hopefully receive a call later on tonight by the state police, to let him know what is going on. I'm not sure what is going to happen though, if he is found in his tent alive, they may just tell him to leave which will be horrible.. I don't know if my youngest brother will forgive me for giving out his GPS coords. He really likes the site he is at, and has been there for at least a year now.

I wanted to wait until Tuesday to put one out on him, but at the same time I'm glad it is being done tonight. For all I know, he could be stuck in his tent with fractured ribs, slowly starving. The last I talked to him, he said he was fine, and it just ached a little but he can be pretty stubborn at times.

Anyway, I just had a glass of wine while talking to my eldest brother just now, and my nerves have relaxed quite a bit more. I'm feeling pretty mellow. Thanks for the response


----------



## Citrine79

Forlorn.


----------



## Crisigv

Great! Now I know that I can jog for 20 minutes straight and more, I'm sure.


----------



## zonebox

Still anxious, the police did a wellness check on my bother and said no one was there - the problem is that they did not say if they saw his tent or give any additional information. So now, I am not sure what is going on..

So today I decided to get away from the computer, and mowed my lawn, then went on a small hike on the trails.








​I love that park, there it is so nice to get back to nature every now and then. There are a ton of campers there right now though, so the trails were a bit more congested than normal, still very few people though. I'm about to start work soon, to make a few extra bucks. I'm looking forward to it even if it is only for an hour or two.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

zonebox said:


> Still anxious, the police did a wellness check on my bother and said no one was there - the problem is that they did not say if they saw his tent or give any additional information. So now, I am not sure what is going on..


 Is there a way for you to check the nearby hospitals to see if maybe he is there?


----------



## zonebox

WillYouStopDave said:


> Is there a way for you to check the nearby hospitals to see if maybe he is there?


I'm not sure, I asked my eldest brother and he said they should have his information on file as he has been admitted to one before in the area and they have our contact information.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

@zonebox 

The uncertainty thing is the absolute worst.

I hope you hear from him soon.


----------



## zonebox

WillYouStopDave said:


> @zonebox
> 
> The uncertainty thing is the absolute worst.
> 
> I hope you hear from him soon.


I really do appreciate that - SAS has always had a great set of members that put fourth a level of concern that I respect. Thank you for your concern, it is nice to know others out there care. I sent my youngest brother a message telling him how much I love him, and I hope he gets it. I always make a point to tell him I love him, as I do everyone I love. I really hope one day he sees it. I hope he knows how much he is valued.


----------



## Citrine79

Sadness and a real sense of melancholy. 😢


----------



## CNikki

Tired. What else is new...


----------



## copper

Sad due to one of our residents in one of the homes who died last night. I knew it was coming. He has been declining for a couple of years now. Haven't talked to him for a while due to COVID. Did briefly seen home a few weeks ago via Zoom meeting.


----------



## Citrine79

Frustrated (especially with work), sad, angry, lonely…feeling all of these.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I skipped out on going to the gym so wasn't the best day since I changed plans. Could've gone back out but too much gas for all that. I'll just make it up tomorrow.


----------



## caelle

I'm feeling pretty ok. Almost good. I struggled with severe depression for a few months. Then I got on meds and they are working. It's a true miracle. Thank you jeezus cryst (inside joke with myself).

Also, I either looked super cute today cause people were looking at me, or they noticed my chin hair and couldn't stop staring at it.


----------



## alwaysrunning

Things have really dropped down now. I feel a battle inside my head all the time. I feel it will be good if I broke my arm/ leg skateboarding to get me out of having to go to work. I just need to hideaway from society for however long it takes. I have two people I know with SA but it's like I cannot talk to them because they will get fed up of hearing about it. I need time out. Thinking about what will happen if I cannot hold this job down what I will do.


----------



## Citrine79

Meh. Feel like a migraine is coming on and overloaded with work that I have zero motivation to do. But at least I get to talk with my therapist today....so much bottled up that I need to get out there.


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable. I was only out for an hour, and it took so much out of me.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I got an eBay coupon to get 2 free items and I can't even use it cause I dont use PayPal. Maybe I should make a PayPal account. Lol


----------



## hayes

Stopped taking my meds cold turkey and the side effects are messing me up. It's like I'm drunk without ever taking a drink. The brain zaps, brain fog and general disorientation has been going on for the last week. I was hoping it would lessen but it' still going strong.


----------



## Lyyli

Lost


----------



## Crisigv

Confused. I don't know what to do.


----------



## zonebox

A little depressed over my brother still, no new information for three weeks today. I called my parents and while talking to my mom she asked about him, they haven't spoken for a few years as my youngest doesn't like to. I had to tell her I haven't heard from him in three weeks, but I tried to play it off like this is not uncommon. 

I'm starting to get used to the idea that he is probably gone now, the past week was really hard. I have barely eaten anything, or even had very much to drink.. to the point I dehydrated myself.. My chest was aching on and off, my shoulder felt like I tore a ligament, I was getting jolts of pain in my hip.. it sucked.. anxiety is a real PITA. Yesterday I started drinking a ton of water, and the pain has subsided now.

I've been expecting this for a long time, and I was also not sure if there would ever be any closure. I shouldn't give up yet, for all I know he could pop up on messenger in a few days and say he lost his phone and was kicked out of the local library. We checked with the police department, no bodies have been found, the hospitals haven't seen him, so there is still hope. Plus the wellness check never found him, perhaps he just had enough and left for somewhere else.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

@zonebox 

It's hard to know what to ever say. I can't even imagine. The knowledge that people everywhere go through this kind of thing constantly is honestly heartbreaking.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like ****


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

This is how I felt earlier when I found some extra cash I forgot I had. 🤣


----------



## MCHB

PurplePeopleEater said:


> This is how I felt earlier when I found some extra cash I forgot I had. 🤣
> 
> View attachment 149261


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

...I'm an adult I swear!


----------



## Citrine79

Still not doing well. I was able to talk about something that has been really bothering me of late with my therapist the other day and that helped a bit. I can’t get over the fact that there will not likely be a resolution of this, that no one stuck up for me and the fact that it involves people I see on a semi regular basis and will have to fake it and pretend all is well knowing that they all hate me.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

MCHB said:


> WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
> 
> ...I'm an adult I swear!


Lol Yippy woot woot.😂 I swear. I'm an adult, too. 🤫


----------



## CNikki

Irritated over dumb things. Sometimes just for no reason at all.


----------



## CNikki

Unmotivated.


----------



## Citrine79

Anxious and sad.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater




----------



## hayes

Functional which is better than the mess I was before. Finally started taking exercise more seriously. I have a bad anterior pelvic tilt that's killing my back so I've been on a mission to strengthen my weak muscles. I actually understand how people feel better after exercise now.


----------



## Citrine79

Ugh….I don’t do Mondays very well. Uncertain and rather annoyed, to be honest, about this ongoing work issue. It will need to be resolved somehow this week due to deadlines but how this whole thing has been handled is just ridiculous and has made me even less motivated.


----------



## thomasjune

Not good at all. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and those people are starting to get on my nerves. Always trying to convince me to get more work done that I doubt I need just to get more money out of me. And I keep falling for it too. 😕


----------



## harrison

I think I'm still floating from that massage - it feels wonderful.


----------



## Citrine79

Disinterested and seriously unmotivated.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I don't feel like a manager most of the time nor do I get treated much like one. My job is a guessing game. Never know what I can and can't do on the job even though some of the things I should be able to do cause I've done it before. Then the next day, it's like oh I can't do that. Oh well I guess. Used to think it was only me it happens to but since it isn't just me, I guess I don't feel as bad about it.


----------



## Crisigv

Meh


----------



## coeur_brise

A lot of feelings. Critical over body, yet only sort of stable. Hopeful, hopeless. Bored yet ill-at-ease. Emotionally on a tightrope. And I have to pee. So many feels!


----------



## Protozoan

I wonder how many of you I see or glance at each day, struggling, like myself and not ever realising. Are you putting up a brave face and doing your best to hide it? 

If I saw you, would I reach out? Should I? I don't know how I would react if someone saw me and somehow knew what I thought and felt. It would never happen, but it still makes me wonder.


----------



## Crisigv

Anxiety


----------



## harrison

Quite excited actually.


----------



## donistired

Drunk and awful


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

There were several firetruck on the road I live on when I got off work. The road was blocked so I couldn't go that way. So I said screw making a detour home just to get into my gym clothes. So, I just wore my work clothes to the gym. But I don't care cause it would've been more time going the other way just to go back home and more money in gas. I wouldn't doubt I'm one of the very few people who has worn their work clothes to the gym. It worked though since I had sneakers on. 🤣 The pants is no big deal since I probably burned more calories with sweat.


----------



## Citrine79

Annoyed and frustrated.


----------



## Starcut83

Considering the emotional roller coaster I've been on, I feel pretty good right now. I think things are starting to level out a bit as I work on these emotions more. I'm hopeful.


----------



## CNikki

Annoyed at myself. I hold things off and then wonder why that I feel like my head will explode when it finally gets tended to. Plus just some other things that I'm contemplating with how things might be different, which will be found out soon enough. I'm just incapable of it all.


----------



## CNikki

Annoyed but it probably should have been expected...


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Everything went good until I forgot my toilet paper at Dollar General so I had to go back and get it. But I'm doing fine. Especially since I'm off today. 

💀


----------



## Crisigv

Crappy


----------



## floyd the barber

sad, feeling like a loser


----------



## Rickets

Quite depressed. Grandmother has lung cancer. It's not a huge surprise cause she smoked for 5 decades but she was the closest person I had other than my mum up until about 10 years ago. Thinking of the impact it will have on my mother too. 

Tobacco companies are scum.


----------



## Citrine79

Frustrating to have to always do things on others terms/timelines. Have some errands to do and much prefer to go earlier in the day when things are less busy but since I don’t drive and have to depend on others…have to go later when crowds/traffic is higher and that will likely spike my anxiety and cause me to forget things and to not want to be out.


----------



## CNikki

Shocked.


----------



## Citrine79

Continue to be annoyed and disgusted with my job on a number of levels. A pretty lousy experience over the weekend made me realize that I am far more miserable and disillusioned than even I realized.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Everyone's always just waiting for their turn to talk. No one gives a damn about what I have to say. I hate people.


----------



## Citrine79

Still miserable!


----------



## harrison

I feel like I've been hit by a train - the mania yesterday was worse than I've had for a long time. It's also changing - I wouldn't even know how to put it into words if I tried.

When I'm feeling okay and the meds are doing what they're supposed to I often forget I have this or don't even believe it - then I have a few days like the last ones and I accept it completely.


----------



## floyd the barber

lonely


----------



## Crisigv

Better than the last couple days. It was rough. I'm still on edge though. Also a bit lonely, but what else is new.


----------



## floyd the barber

just woke up from a xanax, perc, rum blackout. They're prescribed. I have damage on the right side of my body from a crash.


----------



## Citrine79

It has not been a good week so far. Was doing sort of ok today and then got thrown off by several things and now have lost most of my motivation.


----------



## zonebox

All things considered, I'm feeling pretty good. There is still no word from my youngest brother, so that is in the back of my mind. I think I am fairly resilient against longer term depression, there is only so much anxiety or depression that my mind can handle until it wears off.

People sometimes talk about how it is impossible to be happy all of the time, because dopamine is thought to regulate the happy thoughts. I wonder what it is that regulates feelings of depression, and if for some of us it can only last for so long until we either build a tolerance or the _sad _juice runs out. I mean if serotonin and dopamine are what produces happiness, there must likewise be something that produces sadness, one would think. Perhaps it is just a lack of dopamine that produces depression, but if that is the case then why would people feel depressed at all if their brain is filled with the happy juice?

Anyway, this is turning more into a random thoughts post. I'm feeling pretty good, still worried about my brother and thinking about if he is dead, and how he may have died if so. But I have been thinking that way for nearly a month, and the anxiety and depression can only last so long with me before I snap out of it.

Also, I noticed what appears to be a bullet hole in my house, not really a hole but where it looks as though a bullet hit the concrete and dug out a piece of concrete. That bothers me a bit, the plot behind my yard is woods and I imagine someone may have fired a gun in the woods and it passed through the trees and hit my house. Probably some dumb kid who grabbed his daddy's gun and was showing it off to his friends. Hopefully, this will be the only bullet that hits my house. I noticed a noise the day before yesterday, it sounded like something being smacked but not what a gun sounds like. I dunno.. it definitely looks like a bullet hole though.

Check it out:









You can see where it blew out the stucco, there is a little crater and in the middle is a bit deeper - the center appears to be stucco where the bullet would have hit and wedged it further into the hole. It is not angled in any direction, which leads me to believe it was shot straight on which would mean someone behind my back yard would have fired through the woods. There is a road back there, so they likely either fired it while on foot or in a vehicle.

It kind of enrages me how irresponsible gun owners can be at times. If this was a gun shot that is, I mean, I can't think of anything else it would have been. Here in Florida, people talk a big deal about being responsible, but their behavior often is anything but.. You should see the way people drive their trucks as though they are sports cars here, just absolutely irresponsible and foolish.

Having a gun, is a responsibility, that is not taken very serious by some morons. Same with driving a large truck, when I had my durango I would be cautious because of its size and danger to others. It is annoying that people really do not put very much consideration toward the well being of others like this.

Anyway, I guess now I feel a little annoyed, but that will pass.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I had a headache earlier but I took some Ibuprofen. I don't know why but it seems like tedious work gives me a headache. At least I don't have to do tedious work everyday. 😒


----------



## WillYouStopDave

@zonebox 

It does look like a bullet hole. You might want to look around and see if you can find the projectile. I wouldn't think it would have gone far. 

You could probably also file a police report and they might even send someone to check it out to see if they can confirm it.


----------



## coeur_brise

Protozoan said:


> I wonder how many of you I see or glance at each day, struggling, like myself and not ever realising. Are you putting up a brave face and doing your best to hide it?
> 
> If I saw you, would I reach out? Should I? I don't know how I would react if someone saw me and somehow knew what I thought and felt. It would never happen, but it still makes me wonder.


I would def be one of those struggling. I keep a poker face in public. While it's helps immensely just to even say hi, how are you to a stranger or even an acquaintance, I do get that it's hard to approach some people who appear cold. Kind of like you give what you get kind of energy. Anyway.. 

I feel like a hooved animal. So many veggies lately. 🤣


----------



## floyd the barber

I WALED 4 BLOCKS, TRIPED AND FELL, BY 4 COPS THEY DIDN'T EVEN HELP, which is good though


----------



## copper

Sinuses are bothering me. I should have held off getting the second COVID booster until I felt better. This is making it worse. I did take a sick day yesterday but didn't today. I don't want to go to the meeting tomorrow. Suppose to snow a little with 50 mph winds. I will ask my supervisor if they are also allowing phone into the meeting. I only have a couple of clients in that house I deal with. Don't want to sit in the whole meeting.


----------



## harrison

Much more settled - I had a good night's sleep for a change.


----------



## zonebox

WillYouStopDave said:


> @zonebox
> 
> It does look like a bullet hole. You might want to look around and see if you can find the projectile. I wouldn't think it would have gone far.
> 
> You could probably also file a police report and they might even send someone to check it out to see if they can confirm it.


I've thought of talking to the police, but believe it is likely an isolated incident and was probably random. If I start noticing more bullets marks I will definitely do it though. The neighbors that reside behind the empty plot and street there beyond, are seemingly decent. Their yard is tidy, and I have seen them while walking by and they are pleasant enough and strike me as having common sense and are responsible enough. . More than likely it was just some moron who thought they were just shooting into the woods.

Some people with guns just lack common sense, but to be honest, in Maine I would notice more bullet holes in stop signs than I do here. Not to mention, the yearly stories of the morons who would shoot at other hunters (often garbed in orange) due to mistaken them as deer while they were in a drunken state. I don't think it was malicious, just someone who lacks the capacity to responsibly own a gun.


----------



## Citrine79

Feeling pretty lousy…has not been a good week. The weather is awful today…making my mood even worse.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I tried to pay my eye doctor online but of course it said it declined it. And it took like 3 or 4 minutes of it loading the page after I hit submit to say that. Why would I expect anything more from trying to pay something online? Lol Also, this website is kind of slow. This is why I prefer doing things on paper.


----------



## Citrine79

Pretty lousy.…anxious right now plus dealing with PMS symptoms. Have to go to the store today and it is going to be insanely crowded…not looking forward to that.


----------



## thomasjune

Nervous. Can't wait for this mouth to be over with.


----------



## harrison

Reasonably okay I think - and very glad the Easter holidays are over. God I hate it - everything seems a bit dead because half the people are away for the long weekend. It almost reminded me of our lockdown.


----------



## copper

Have to drive to Marquette today which is a two-hour drive. Rather slam my hand in the car door. Marquette is a madhouse. Stupid roundabouts. There are wrecks all the time.


----------



## Citrine79

Meh…my weekend wasn’t great. Weather is awful again and still frustrated with a number of things.


----------



## copper

Legs hurt. I hate my vehicle on long trips. I wish I had a larger vehicle for long distance trips. Not enough leg room and the seats aren't comfortable in the vehicle I drive now. It is okay going short distances to work and errands, but long distance it sucks.


----------



## harrison

Tired, cynical, angry, confused.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

No one can stand me.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> No one can stand me.


 We can.


----------



## Citrine79

Anxious and uneasy. I cannot shake the bad vibes I have about things.


----------



## shyshisho

Health anxiety making me stressed.


----------



## copper

My ears are partially blocked. I don't know if it is ear wax or if I have an infection. My sinuses have been bothering me for the past few weeks. I tested myself for COVID it is negative. I made an appointment with the GP next Thursday which is the earliest she can see me. I hope she doesn't refer me to their ENT because that is a two and a half hour drive down to Wisconsin because the idiots don't come up here. Medical sucks here.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm feeling very alone. I don't want to live my life lonely.


----------



## thomasjune

Freaking out a bit.


----------



## Citrine79

Meh…just not feeling it at all. I don’t even want to bother with therapy today.


----------



## Starcut83

Down but hopeful.


----------



## hypestyle

not feeling "good" but not feeling "horrible" either, today.


----------



## Citrine79

Annoyed and frustrated as usual.


----------



## Zatch

Like a fat blob of jelly. Thankfully the weekend is within reach for me.


----------



## zonebox

Feeling intoxicated, and enjoying it.

A thought has come to mind, I sometimes feel like a beat up machine that is not suited for the job, but considering this machine is the only tool I have in my arsenal to combat a multitude of problems with, I try my best to make it work and keep it running. I can appreciate that, I mean, surely I would rather have better tools for the job - but considering I don't, dwelling on the reality of my limitations, doesn't improve my situation. Instead, I have to get creative and make things work, and a sense of pride comes from the fact, that I am accomplishing what I can with what I have to work with and somehow making things move along in a haphazardly way which seems to get the results desired, although in a less than ideal way - it still works.

Yeah, intoxicated.

I suppose, in a way, this is why I like playing around with older computers and pushing them to their limits, making them do things that they were never intended to do, and for that matter how I feel about a lot of things in life. Pushing things past their design, making them capable of doing more. It is my life experience, I tells ya! I guess in a way, it is like flipping the bird at the cosmos, and saying I broke their laws, and pushed passed them. Or perhaps, it is just appreciating what I can do with what I have, or a multitude of feelings I can't quite explain. I do enjoy that feeling though, doing more with what I have, than what was thought possible, or likely thought to be intended.






I'm giving her all I got, captain!


----------



## Citrine79

Bored….really, really bored. And lonely also.


----------



## CNikki

Like I had some spiritual epiphany and that I'll likely forget about it by the end of the day.


----------



## Starcut83

I feel like I'm walking on a tight rope...I'm fine as long as I keep my balance and don't fall.


----------



## Crisigv

Same old garbage. Sad at my inability to connect with someone.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I got a big tip from a cute man at my job. Lol...Well, the money will help out for the whole month more than the raise I got. Maybe not much more but still.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Moody


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

It's a weird feeling when you're one of those people who doesn't know much about your siblings until years later. I find out my oldest sister was making 18 an hour not that long ago and now she makes 19 an hour. For some reason, I thought she made more than that. She's 43 years old, too so that might be partially why I thought she made more. And maybe just cause of the fact that she's my sister, I thought she was more well off I guess. 😂 For me, I'd feel rich off 19 an hour just cause of where I live. But I still thought she made like 25 an hour or something. Even though 19 an hour isn't bad down here. I don't feel rich but I don't feel poor, either. As long as I'm not broke. Now, if I'm broke I'd definitely feel poor. Maybe instead of focusing on how much I make, I should focus more on my quality of life my pay has given me to notice how well off I am cause it really isn't bad for me.


----------



## Citrine79

Frustrated, annoyed, disgusted.…all of it.


----------



## Crisigv

Like garbage


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


----------



## pillbugger

That feeling when you click on an old YouTube video using Wayback Machine only for the actual video to not be archived. The thumbnail shows, yet... it's a sinking feeling knowing that the particular video is forever lost. A piece of history gone. This is why I archive old media that I find interesting that I think might disappear due to time.


----------



## NoMoreTears

Lost. Tired of _having_ to be alive only for sake of other people.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

I need a Red Bull energy drink 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


----------



## Citrine79

New day….same old misery. Also, really fun to wake up to things being snow covered in late freaking April. Especially since it was nearly 80 degrees 2 days ago. 🙄


----------



## PurplePeopleEater




----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Why are there 2 threads on How are you feeling?










Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Jeremiahgirl said:


> Why are there 2 threads on How are you feeling?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


 I don't know. There are multiple threads with that title but this appears to be the one that is most used now. Do you have a link to the other one?

The most likely explanations are....

1. People sometimes don't bother to look for a thread that already exists and decide to make a new one.

2. This forum used to have an issue where when a thread got really long, something would go wrong with it and it would not be possible to make new posts in it. So a new thread would need to be created in order to continue. That problem is now gone but the results of it remain in the form of multiple threads with the same name.


----------



## CNikki

Kind of automatically knew that this is probably a depressive wave that was brewing for some time and of course I’ve ignored it. Something about today seemed to have let it out but I’m not exactly sure which part. All I want to do is to go back to bed.


----------



## alifb8

I feel like I am on a rollercoaster of emotions. One moment I have the confidence to do something and then a social interaction presents itself and all the momentum and confidence I had comes to a halt. Then I pick myself back up with some positive self talk and repeat. 🙃


----------



## Citrine79

Meh…but at least I get out of the house today. Getting some new stuff also.


----------



## Crisigv

Horrible


----------



## Starcut83

Tired...haven't slept well in the last couple of days and I'm really feeling it this morning.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like a leper in every social interaction


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm getting tired. 😴 Gotta get my laundry out first.


----------



## Citrine79

Already feeling the ”Sunday blues” kick in.


----------



## Crisigv

Runny nose


----------



## shyshisho

Uncomfortable - I think my acid reflux is flaring up again, I’ve been nauseous and bloated the past few days.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

shyshisho said:


> Uncomfortable - I think my acid reflux is flaring up again, I’ve been nauseous and bloated the past few days.


Ugh, I get like this sometimes from acid reflux. Just the slightest bit of nausea makes me feel bad. Not comfortable.


----------



## harrison

Not too bad actually - there must be something wrong.


----------



## Citrine79

Eh…not great. Anxious about something that is coming up. And still not in a good place about a recent family situation.


----------



## Crisigv

Worse than yesterday, and I'm stuck at home


----------



## Starcut83

I've felt sleepy and foggy-headed most of the day today.


----------



## SunshineSam218

I'm feeling happier about things going on in my life. I feel relieved.


----------



## Starcut83

That feeling after you've eaten too much food and drank too much water...🤢...that's what I get for not eating enough this morning or afternoon.


----------



## CNikki

So much fatigue.


----------



## Starcut83

I feel like a lot of people are living just to survive...sometimes I feel like I'm surviving just to live.


----------



## Citrine79

Done a decent amount of work this week...probably the most I have gotten done in awhile. But still feeling anxious and really uncertain about going on vacation soon. Not dreading it but not exactly looking forward to it either.


----------



## Starcut83

I'm thankful I'm feeling better now.


----------



## Crisigv

Like trash


----------



## zonebox

A little frustrated as my internet is out. I dislike typing on my phone, as I am incredibly slow at it.

Bleh, I was in the middle of a game.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

zonebox said:


> A little frustrated as my internet is out. I dislike typing on my phone, as I am incredibly slow at it.
> 
> Bleh, I was in the middle of a game.


 Can you use your phone as a hotspot for your PC?


----------



## zonebox

WillYouStopDave said:


> Can you use your phone as a hotspot for your PC?


Yep, I have an app for it that does really good as it does not eat into my limit. I have unlimited while on the phone, but when using it as a hotspot I think I only get about 15gb a month. The app works perfectly for not eating up my allocation, but I have to change a few settings on my computer to link up to a proxy server. Even then though, I can't play games as the necessary ports are not open. I can watch videos from streaming sites though.

I decided to just go with the hotspot, because I want to get back to my game.

Bleh, I can't game through my wifi either. I used to be able to, I wonder if it is because I am connected through a VPN.. there ain't no way I am connecting to their servers without it though, lol.. It shouldn't matter because I usually use it anyway.

Edit again:
After I sorted out all of my hotspot stuff, the internet came back on.. go figure it was out for like an hour. Usually it is only for a short period of time so I don't bother with the hotspot, this one seemed like it was going to last forever.. Well time to get back to gaming


----------



## harrison

Slightly drugged and heavy, slightly sick and tired. I hate this medication and I can't seem to tolerate it anymore.


----------



## Citrine79

Lackluster and sluggish. Second day in a row with a migraine and while the headache itself is gone…feeling the after effects of it. Good thing I am relatively caught up with work because I am not feeling it at all today.


----------



## alwaysrunning

Much, much better today. Had some gin and NAS ginger beer last night and that really helped. Was able to get some things done. Restarted taking Berrocca Boost ( gotta be over 18 to take it) and was really motivated today got a lot done.


----------



## Zatch

Angry with myself. Everything was perfect but accepted a shift I'm not really built for anymore and am regretting it immensely. Not getting enough sleep for it at all, body wants to wake up 6 hours too early and I can't doze back off afterwards.

If I was just more selfish this would've been at least mostly avoided. But no, I wanted to help and now I suffer for it sooner rather than later.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sore from lifting & getting used to cycling daily again


“Lay back, unplug your phone, remove your skin, throw away the bones, take a long hard look at what we’ve allowed to go on, this one’s gonna be the last one”


----------



## Citrine79

Dragging today. About to go on vacation and mostly caught up with work so day going by soooo slow. Plus, didn’t sleep well and have had a migraine on and off for the last 3 days now.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Yep, people just laugh at my ****ing problems. I hate people.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Lost


----------



## zonebox

Not so bad, I am handling things pretty well at the moment. Surely, things will get worst, hopefully I will adapt as I always have, and still be able to enjoy what I can while I can. I mean, the world is falling apart around us, nuclear war is a possibility, loved ones are closer to their end, all of that stuff.. but all of it becomes this weird hum of normalcy, it becomes part of every day life, and when in that element of the hum of destruction, and it being normalized, I am doing okay somehow.










I find this meme kind of funny, it entails being oblivious to the problems around you and trying to ignore them. I think I am kind of like that dog, saying, this is fine.. but I see the flames licking all aspects of our lives, but this flame is not extinguishable, there is no fire department to put it out, and it has spread around the world so there is no escape - so one may as well enjoy what they can, while they can instead of focusing on the flames that are consuming them, while powerless to put them out.


----------



## CNikki

Hadn't slept well last night. To think of it then probably for the past few nights. I'm exhausted. I just want a full night's rest.


----------



## zonebox

@CNikki Have you had any luck with melatonin? It sometimes works for me, depending on what I am doing. If I find myself engrossed in a subject, or game, I typically fight through it and stay awake regardless 😜 It does make me feel tired though, the Internet just has a way of keeping me peeled away from dreamland at times.

We got these gummy melatonin that taste delicious, so it is kind of like a treat for me at night. They kind of taste like dots, which I enjoy a lot


----------



## Starcut83

Super stressed...I could easily slip into a panic if I were to allow myself to go down that road. Though I know I won't.


----------



## Citrine79

Vacation is okay so far…the weather sucks though and is kinda ruining things. As the week progresses though, will likely fall back into my usual anxious, uptight line of thinking. Already kind of creeping back in. Even though work was caught up before I left, it will be a nightmare to return to…trying not to think about it,


----------



## Starcut83

A good night's sleep. I feel rested to face what the day may bring...I'm not expecting the worst but I'm not exactly expecting the best...but I know I'll handle it whatever it is.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling pretty worthless today


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Annoyed at my wrist still being sore.


----------



## Memories of Silence

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Annoyed at my wrist still being sore.


I hope it feels better soon. 😔


----------



## Citrine79

Eh….not a great day today. Even on vacation, I am frustrated and annoyed with a number of things…like the usual things plus the so far less than stellar experience I am having here. Not just the crummy weather that is ruining things.


----------



## alwaysrunning

I've a lot of nervous energy.


----------



## CNikki

Woke up feeling anxious. It's almost like I'm letting all of this consume me to the point it's getting harder to function.


----------



## harrison

A bit manic. A friend called me last night and we had a good talk but it got me all worked up - my wife could hear it in my voice when I called her later. I can't believe just talking to people gets me like this - and I really don't want to go on Olanzipine.


----------



## mt moyt

i have a stomachache


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable


----------



## Blue Dino

Been physically feeling better the past few days. Of course, it's usually better for a few days, worse for a few days, better for a few days, so on. It's a rollercoaster.


----------



## Citrine79

Still having anxiety even on vacation. Subsided for a bit at times but it is still prevalent.


----------



## floyd the barber

Extremely depressed


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired of people


----------



## Crisigv

Unhappy


----------



## hauntedbyreality

Let me not think about this.


----------



## Citrine79

First day back from vacation and already struggling with motivation and concentration. Something very bad happened in the area where I live and I am trying hard to avoid talking about it or watching too much coverage of it. More than a few minutes at a time and it starts to bother me.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling a little weirded out


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feeling great. I'm at an airbnb with my own little backyard. 

Think I'll not come on here much for a few days to enjoy it here while I can.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feeling great. I'm at an airbnb with my own little backyard.
> 
> Think I'll not come on here much for a few days to enjoy it here while I can.


 Absolutely! Enjoy it to the hilt!


----------



## Citrine79

Guess going on vacation didn’t do much for me as I am feeling frustrated and anxious and unmotivated to do my work. I have a ton of it now and while I have gotten some done…still much more to do and I just can’t bring myself to care.


----------



## harrison

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Feeling great. I'm at an airbnb with my own little backyard.
> 
> Think I'll not come on here much for a few days to enjoy it here while I can.


Good idea - have fun. (but we are expecting photos)

Just kidding


----------



## harrison

Citrine79 said:


> Guess going on vacation didn’t do much for me as I am feeling frustrated and anxious and unmotivated to do my work. I have a ton of it now and while I have gotten some done…still much more to do and I just can’t bring myself to care.


Sorry to hear your holiday wasn't much fun.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Terrible


----------



## Starcut83

An eerie calm...before the storm.


----------



## Citrine79

Unmotivated and disinterested in my work.


----------



## Crisigv

Like trash


----------



## Fever Dream

There was a time when I declined coworkers invitations to go hang out due to anxiety. Anymore, I just don't want to go to certain places, or really be around anybody. Maybe I've been doing things a certain way for such a long time that habit has become nature.


----------



## pillbugger

Well, for what seems like the first time as an adult, I got invited to join some strangers small talk. I was at the dentist again to get my braces tweaked, when the woman doing the work on my mouth started a conversation with another woman that appeared to simply be watching. The working woman was apparently a mother to a 27 year old woman, yet she herself didn't look that old  (I digress). She went on about her daughter being depressed with the end of the relationship with her boyfriend. "But it's fun to be single." "I wish I was single for longer before having her." "There are plenty of fish of the sea and it is exciting." "She needs a man that truly loves her" I was agreeing with some of her statements in my mind when suddenly, she asked me something. "Isn't that right?" I snapped my eyes open. She was done. It was a quick procedure as always. I fumbled and fled the scene. Not like I have any experience with romantic relationships anyways.

I feel like an Elder Scrolls player character with their speechcraft level somehow at -100. It's a long hill to climb... if it even is climbable.


----------



## discopotato

Brides are insufferable and I never want to work with them.


----------



## CNikki

Tired and just want to sleep.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Slightly weirded out the TV was somehow turned on in the place I'm staying on vacation. But surprisingly, nothing was amiss. 😳


----------



## Blue Dino

On-edge, angry and felt unfairly wronged.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Slightly weirded out the TV was somehow turned on in the place I'm staying on vacation. But surprisingly, nothing was amiss. 😳


Maybe the maid turned the TV on but that doesn't make sense. Nothing was even cleaned. 😆 Would be a bit weird just to chill and watch TV while someone's staying here cause the doors were locked. So no one else could've come in.


----------



## harrison

Horrible. These pills aren't working and I have to go and vote. I'm not fit to be in public today, should have voted early.


----------



## CNikki

Hot. Whose bright idea was it to suddenly spike the weather at close to 90F?


----------



## Citrine79

Lackluster.


----------



## CNikki

Uncomfortable and restless.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Angry at the world


----------



## CNikki

Worried.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Miserable


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I still got a bit of the post vacation blues I need to shake off. Lol 🤣


----------



## hauntedbyreality

I'm scared of getting older. I need time to pause.


----------



## harrison

Surprisingly good - I have no idea what's going on.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

hauntedbyreality said:


> I'm scared of getting older. I need time to pause.


I know what you mean. Lol Would be nice to just take a remote and hit the pause button. 😆 

I turn 30 next year. 10 months to go. 😳


----------



## Blue Dino

Hot


----------



## mikelin8884

Scared because I don't know what I want in life, just feels like I've been living for the sake of living.


----------



## Citrine79

My head is in a weird place right now….on a number of levels.


----------



## User Not Found

Feeling like crap.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like miserable zombie


----------



## coeur_brise

I feel very alone. Like there's a hole in my soul.


----------



## CNikki

Nauseated.


----------



## Skeletra

Pretty good


----------



## Citrine79

Struggling today. Not busy at all and it is rather muggy and uncomfortable. Also, been consuming far too much news of late and it has been all bad. It is taking a toll on my psyche and really spiking my anxiety.


----------



## discopotato

I feel dead inside.


----------



## CNikki

A mix of being a little upset and anxious. I’m afraid of what the future holds.


----------



## Crisigv

My washing machine almost gave me a heart attack. Thought it was broken. Maybe it's on its way out though.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Crisigv said:


> My washing machine almost gave me a heart attack. Thought it was broken. Maybe it's on its way out though.


 The good news is if it's a major brand, they seem to last just about forever and are relatively easy to repair. Though maybe not cheap, cheaper than a new one. We've had (I think) two control boards replaced in our washer and a thermal fuse and a door switch in the dryer. Both units are about 16 years old and have been used at least 3-4 times a week for pretty much as long as we've had them. Kenmore/Whirlpool. Apparently built like tanks.


----------



## Crisigv

WillYouStopDave said:


> The good news is if it's a major brand, they seem to last just about forever and are relatively easy to repair. Though maybe not cheap, cheaper than a new one. We've had (I think) two control boards replaced in our washer and a thermal fuse and a door switch in the dryer. Both units are about 16 years old and have been used at least 3-4 times a week for pretty much as long as we've had them. Kenmore/Whirlpool. Apparently built like tanks.


Ours is KitchenAid, and we've had the set for 17 years, as old as the house. It turned out to be a door lock error, after googling it. I just pushed it closed a bit harder, even though it did close properly and it worked. So we'll see if it keeps happening.


----------



## SplendidBob

I feel like an alien. 

I seem to be completely different to the rest of the world. 

Alone. Totally alone.


----------



## zonebox

I'm having fun playing video games.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel so hopeless, for myself and the world.


----------



## CNikki

Crappy.


----------



## harrison

Good but a bit elevated because I had to go out this morning. Got a blood test to check my medication levels and then went to the pharmacy. Had a nice conversation with the ladies there and I don't think I embarassed myself which is always nice to know - although I can never be sure. They know how I am there though and are slightly used to how I can be a bit much sometimes.


----------



## Citrine79

Anxious, annoyed and very unmotivated.


----------



## Folded Edge

Not good, my health is getting worse and worried about the inevitable.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Folded Edge said:


> Not good, my health is getting worse and worried about the inevitable.


Damn, I hope you'll be okay. :/


----------



## CNikki

Tired. It didn't help that I was crying on-and-off all afternoon.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel horrible. Every time I try to better myself, I have set backs. It's like I'm not allowed to be healthier, yet I have to watch others do better. I never get to make any progress, I'm always at the beginning.


----------



## Citrine79

Not doing well. Have been put in a tough spot on something and have no idea what to do about it. Going to require some deep thought and reflection.


----------



## grocery goose

A little bit lonely. Probably from over-indulging in solitude.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Allergies are running rampant


----------



## coeur_brise

I feel good that I only worked 26 hours due to the holiday weekend.


----------



## zonebox

Incredibly relieved, and perhaps a bit confused. My youngest brother last wrote me on March 11th, and I hadn't heard a word from him since. We keep in contact every few days, so it was incredibly concerning, another brother and I even went so far as to have a wellness check done on him (which is not easy considering he is homeless) and the police officer reported they did not see anything.. more than likely that officer is just there to collect their pension, rather than actually do the job they are paid for - but that is another topic entirely.. still what a dick!

Anyway, I just received a message from him via email today. My youngest brother is still alive, holy hell, I was almost certain he was a goner. For the past 10 weeks, I have been imagining him being buried in a shallow grave by someone who he got in a fight with just before he last replied to me. I have had grisly dreams of finding him dead in his tent, I have had many days where I felt horrible, and relived our youth together hoping I could have kept him away from drugs. 

But he lives. As to why he hasn't replied in so long, I don't know. He says it is because his phone is broken, but he has access to libraries. He did lose his facebook password, which explains why he never replied in messenger, but I guess he forgot he had email accounts, or the passwords to them because I had been trying that as well. I don't know, I'm just glad he is alive. We reached out to hospitals, and the police, and came up empty. I don't know what he has been doing since March 11th, but I'm glad he is alive.

Phew, so I am relieved, now perhaps I can get a decent night's rest. Plus I don't have to worry about driving up to his site, and finding his body - which tormented me. I was convinced he had passed away, and if by chance no one had noticed his body, I would be the one to find it. You don't know how many times it played out in my head, that I envisioned coming across the decayed remains of my brother's body.. I've seen way too many horror movies.

It is done though, he lives, and I am happy.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

@zonebox 

That is good to hear! 

That is a long time for someone to just drop off the face of the earth though. It seems very strange that he wouldn't have found some way to contact you. Ordinarily I would wonder if someone who disappeared for that long (if alive) had been in jail but that seems impossible or else they'd have told you.


----------



## zonebox

@WillYouStopDave It is a long time, I still don't know what the heck is up - he did not so much as contact anyone in that time even his former gf which he keeps in contact with every now and then. I've considered that he may have been in jail, but I could not find him in any database, perhaps he was though. I asked my oldest brother if we could find out and he told me no, which surprised me. Although, my eldest brother was in contact with the police in NY, and had called a few times for any updates, the police never had any to give us. I imagine he went as far as he could with finding out if he was incarcerated. I'm not sure how NY is setup, and what sort of privacy people are allowed when incarcerated. 

In Florida, it is a lot easier to gain access to listings of people who are in jail, what their crimes were, etc. One of the reasons why "Florida Man" exists is because there is so little privacy here, whereas in other states most identities of people are hidden away. 

I'm really happy he is still with us though, and to have been able to give my mother some good news regarding him.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like I've been thrown away.


----------



## caelle

Feeling lonesome


----------



## Citrine79

Discouraged.


----------



## Starcut83

💔


----------



## m4m8

Pretty good. Sharing some annoying negative thoughts is surprisingly helpful. Passing it forward. You're welcome.


----------



## Citrine79

Uneasy and uncertain.


----------



## Starcut83

I'm alright...getting by...till things get better again...


----------



## pillbugger

Dying. I only allow myself to turn on the loud air conditioner when I am not alone in the home. Need to be audibly aware at all times. I don't understand how some people can go walk the streets with one of their senses plugged.


----------



## Crisigv

Alone and lost.


----------



## Alleviate Suffering

Good. It turns out that all I needed to feel better was a holiday from work. Just dreading going back.


----------



## Humesday

insecure and nervous


----------



## Citrine79

Miserable!


----------



## Crisigv

Glad for a weekend off, despite being depressed when home.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Bloated. Ate too much food.


----------



## Umpalumpa

Lonely —> maybe there’s someone to talk to! —> nope, I’m alone


----------



## CNikki

Annoyed. The package I’ve been waiting for all week is either lost or stolen. 😒


----------



## WillYouStopDave

CNikki said:


> Annoyed. The package I’ve been waiting for all week is either lost or stolen. 😒


 Hate when that happens. It's actually only happened to me a couple of times but I have intense anxiety every time I have a package coming. I always worry something will happen and it will get lost.


----------



## CNikki

WillYouStopDave said:


> Hate when that happens. It's actually only happened to me a couple of times but I have intense anxiety every time I have a package coming. I always worry something will happen and it will get lost.


The first time this had happened I knew it was the ‘shady neighbors’ we had at the time that had stolen the packages. Even where I am now I still feel like I have to watch out. Even if I had to sign for the package (which technically the delivery folks should be doing) it’d be better than going through the hassle of filing a lost package claim.


----------



## harrison

I feel good. Glad I got public transport instead of using a car - sometimes it's nice to have lots of people around you.


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling really good at the moment, got through covid, my youngest brother is still alive, just feeling really positive at the moment and appreciative and energetic. I had lost some of the passion I usually have, and it seems to be back for the time being.


----------



## Citrine79

Very uncertain about how something will turn out. And I assume it is not going to be for the best.


----------



## Ahiram

Excited and scared. New beginnings and opportunities are crazy like that.


----------



## Citrine79

Citrine79 said:


> Very uncertain about how something will turn out. And I assume it is not going to be for the best.


And of course that is exactly what happened. I have to respond in some way and advocate for myself…I am not good at that so it is probably going to go poorly but I can’t just let this slide.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel so crappy. Worthless and alone, and old.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm tired. Guess I'm going to bed now. 😴


----------



## ahhlo

i hate this evil rotten world ive never had any friends before i wish that people liked me im afraid of getting a warning i dont want to break any rules but i want to post and i wish people would reply to me and like my posts it makes me sad because no one will talk to me and i dont have anyone irl to talk to and i dont have any other site to go to, everyone is just mean to me. i wish people were nice to me, i just want to post i jst want to have somehwere i can go


----------



## copper

Crabby. Probably the anxiety and depression due to upcoming major changes at work and my dad having more medical issues and my mom getting upset due to my dad being secretive about his health.


----------



## Crisigv

Relieved? Heartbroken? Content? Upset? A mix of everything. 8 years of so much and not a word in the end. I guess it's for the best, and reveals the truth in itself. I'm never going to get better, and life's not worth living, but on to other things. For the love of God, don't talk to me anymore.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

ahhlo said:


> i hate this evil rotten world ive never had any friends before i wish that people liked me im afraid of getting a warning i dont want to break any rules but i want to post and i wish people would reply to me and like my posts it makes me sad because no one will talk to me and i dont have anyone irl to talk to and i dont have any other site to go to, everyone is just mean to me. i wish people were nice to me, i just want to post i jst want to have somehwere i can go


I know how you feel. People dont talk to me much in real life even though I talk more than I used to.  I don't even have one friend and never have since 5th grade. I guess if I have a friend, I wouldn't have as much time to myself anyways.It's partially why I like coming on here so much. Maybe you could talk to me. I have a few online friends I talk to and one I talk to through email that I've been messaging for 2 and a half years.


----------



## User Not Found

I feel like ****. Nothing changed so far.


----------



## Citrine79

Anxious and uptight! And really impatient also. Good thing I have therapy soon…because I feel like I am about to have a meltdown of some kind.


----------



## hauntedbyreality

Life doesn't get better.


----------



## alwaysrunning

I am feeling irritable. I need to go jogging as I just feel resistence to things like sitting down to study; just like my body is saying no I don't want to do that. I feel so not interested in things that I used to really like, like listening to Jeremy Vine. I am at work and usually I can't work without headphones in but today so far I just can't stand to listen to anything. I just need to get rid of this energy and then I think it will be in balance.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Hmm, I felt a bit groggy today but I feel better after drinking some orange juice. Felt better ever since. But I kind of want to lay down.


----------



## alwaysrunning

I am feeling that I will be relieved when I get back today and will be on my own.


----------



## Citrine79

Still anxious and uptight. But do feel slightly better after speaking with my therapist. He was very helpful.


----------



## CNikki

Scared. I don’t want the worst to happen.


----------



## coeur_brise

Relieved that it's the weekend but dread because I don't want to waste it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

How I feel about finally moving out.


Okay, baaaaiiiii. 😂


----------



## Crisigv

I'm lonely


----------



## harrison

Very slight, dull headache but that's not unusual. Otherwise good as gold. A bit surprising considering how I was a day or so ago. Holy Moly.


----------



## coeur_brise

Feeling hot. And lazy.


----------



## alwaysrunning

Sad really. I like some people but these people would never know from my avoidance.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Lmao


----------



## Citrine79

Unmotivated as usual but I also am very not busy (trying to stretch out the work I do have) which makes for a long, long day…worse than usual. Also, being not busy is an anxiety trigger for me.


----------



## Humesday

depressed af


----------



## Citrine79

Frustrated yet again. Thought I had made at least a little progress but no. Back to the same old nonsense.


----------



## coeur_brise

I just feel very down. Like someone pulled the wires from my back and I short circuited, now running on back up power.


----------



## Citrine79

Miserable on so many levels.


----------



## Skeletra

Like I’m running full speed towards rock bottom. I need a break.


----------



## Crisigv

I'd rather not wake up in the morning.


----------



## SplendidBob

Not good. 

I just had a really bad 45 minute argument with my new psychologist. Very emotional, very heated on both sides. 

That **** isn't supposed to happen and the last thing I needed.


----------



## Citrine79

Lackluster and unmotivated.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Ouch, I hit my head kind of bad. 😬

It hurt for a good couple minutes but I'm fine now. 😵


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Moody


----------



## CNikki

Tired because of the lack of proper sleep and yet too restless because of this heat.


----------



## SASer213504

Feeling super chilled 😌


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable and trapped


----------



## coeur_brise

Not terribly sad but not terribly happy either


----------



## floyd the barber

Feeling good after exercising but my new bike I ordered got set back like a week.


----------



## SilentLyric

pretty good fam. just chilling on my weekend.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Too Hot! 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## PurplePeopleEater




----------



## Citrine79

Not good…very anxious and distracted.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Ok I guess a bit tired  


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## CNikki

Numb...


----------



## harrison

Feeling better than I have done for a long time actually. This dose of medication must be about right. Haven't had any mania for a month or so and feel pretty settled.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Migraine brewing 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Crisigv

Today was a good day.


----------



## CNikki

Alright, I guess. Still feeling the effects from yesterday but not as strong. Still don't think I will ever become close to someone in the same manner again.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feel great after going for a swim. Got to ride some big waves.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Sore lower back from sitting after working on a puzzle .


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Annoyed & restless


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Depressed  but, I’m changing that by listening to music. (The Beatles )


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## SASer213504

I feel fine.. actually I feel great these days thanks to my meds


----------



## SilentLyric

pretty good slept good had some delcious eggs and now waiting for cookies to bake


----------



## Lonelygirl1986

Bad, just thinking if I'd had the life I've got now at 25 I would have found someone by now. These people who find their soulmate before 30 seem lucky to me.


----------



## stronglady

Pretty good now after what happened.Met a new guy in my life last night.A friend of mine introduced me to him.He liked me on the spot,date is Saturday night


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## Skeletra

Pretty bummed out. On one side I feel like skipping food (lunch and dinner), on the other side.. I am kind of hungry. Might just force myself.. could help 🤷‍♀️


----------



## SilentLyric

happy . weekend is almost here.


----------



## pillbugger

Confused. Excuse me? A miss? How am I miss? I just called my healthcare clinic first thing after I got up in the morning and the guy who picked up the phone kept referring to me as a miss. I know I have a name that goes for both genders and a feminine last name but what about my voice!


----------



## Citrine79

Very anxious and tense. I should be able to relax at least a little given it is Friday and a long weekend is coming…but no. I am actually more tense for some reason.


----------



## hauntedbyreality

The news about a 10 year old girl needing to travel to get an abortion leaves me feeling powerless. Absolutely powerless.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Sometimes when that question Is alerted I pause…and often go blank. As if to not feel anything, I feel blank. Or sleepy ? 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted, sore, & moody


----------



## zonebox

Rainbows are pretty cool, but unfortunately, people push some higher meaning out of it.










It can be appreciated by people who don't have the same values, who don't attribute the same meaning out of it. It doesn't have to mean a promise by some God that he will not flood the world again, it could just be a refraction of light, that simply is gorgeous. 

One does not need a holy spirit to see the beauty in it, they do not have to believe it is a promise, they can just appreciate it for existing in the first place, as it has for billions of years before humanity exited.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Could be sinuses been acting up lately 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## SunshineSam218

I'm feeling really depressed and lonely right now. I wish I had someone to talk too.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Like an alien amongst humans


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Lol...


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sad. Everyone is getting married and having kids and I'm still a loser.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Twisted a tiny bit! Ouch


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Ashmoon

SunshineSam218 said:


> I'm feeling really depressed and lonely right now. I wish I had someone to talk too.


Same here. Just feeling like anything besides being alone forever is entirely impossible. Is there anything in particular you want to talk about?


----------



## coeur_brise

Strange mix of relief from being on vacation to regret that my vacation is so short to sleeplessness to doubt to hope. So, meh.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

My new avatar has me like


----------



## CNikki

Pretty burnt from sun exposure. I’ll likely feel the full effects by the morning.


----------



## SunshineSam218

Ashmoon said:


> Same here. Just feeling like anything besides being alone forever is entirely impossible. Is there anything in particular you want to talk about?


I'm just hoping I can meet some new friends and get people to talk too. It's hard to find new people to connect with these days. I love having intellectual conversations and chatting online, but I understand that people get busy. It's just been really depressing this year for me. I'm grieving over my brother and things are hard for me right now.


----------



## Ashmoon

SunshineSam218 said:


> I'm just hoping I can meet some new friends and get people to talk too. It's hard to find new people to connect with these days. I love having intellectual conversations and chatting online, but I understand that people get busy. It's just been really depressing this year for me. I'm grieving over my brother and things are hard for me right now.


I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how hard that is for you. But I do understand wanting to make new friends and form a connection. I've moved a couple times recently and I've definitely felt very isolated, not having any friends around me anymore. People are always busy and things just never seem to work out. 

I would love to chat anytime if it helps. I don't know if I'm smart enough for really intellectual conversations, but I do love chatting and listening to people talk about whatever they have a passion for.


----------



## alwaysrunning

Sad. Disconnected as far as having anyone outside of family. Somebody came and said hello, that I already met, yesterday. I still felt that if I was to first that I would be bothering them. I still feel that. Like I need to keep my distance. I guess if you feel comfortable with someone this doesn't happen. I just feel sadness because I haven't a connection. I feel a bit shut down and quiet within myself.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely, as usual


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, hungry, dissatisfied with life


----------



## Crisigv

Glad to have a day off, I guess


----------



## CNikki

Worried. Too much overthinking.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Irritated  


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## coeur_brise

Strangely feeling ok even after someone took my jalapeno cheese pastry without asking. The gods don't want me angry.


----------



## Crisigv

Excited for my first facial in half an hour.


----------



## Citrine79

Still not doing great but something that has been bothering me tremendously has been taken care of for now. It will come up again in the future but I learned some things this time and I think I can handle it better.


----------



## CNikki

Hurt and degraded. Then it’s wondered why I don’t attempt to try sometimes. It will only lead to embarrassment.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired, sore


----------



## coeur_brise

I feel like if I express dissatisfaction then I might spiral into a funk again. Discouraged.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Tired of being the weird one for not thinking like or wanting what most people or society thinks I should


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Difficult evening & night 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## CNikki

After a long sleep and then a 3 hour nap, finally not so tired. Let's see how long that will last.


----------



## shyshisho

Bored


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Terrible. Bad enough being a depressive but having no herb seriously makes it so much worse


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Blah! 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## CNikki

CNikki said:


> After a long sleep and then a 3 hour nap, finally not so tired. Let's see how long that will last.


Update: Not long, actually.

I think because my sleep schedule has been so messed up along with other things that it all caught up with me today. Hopefully it's just that and nothing seriously medical related...


----------



## Crisigv

Hurt


----------



## Citrine79

Lazy, unmotivated and generally unhappy.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Tired


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## coeur_brise

_gif of someone flipping a table_ 🤬


----------



## Crisigv

Fine I guess. Just sick of the same thing every day.


----------



## Humesday

vengeful and aggressive


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Skeletra

Oof. The sun went out, both literally (well kinda. It’s cloudy now so I can’t _see_ it) and figuratively. I started out pretty ok and now my mood is rapidly falling.


----------



## CNikki

A bit moody. Likely in part because of overthinking and how it will affect what will come sooner or later...


----------



## User Not Found

Depressed. Defeated.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## WillYouStopDave

You know you're getting old when you get down on the floor to get a better angle on something you need to fix and you spend a few minutes down there struggling with whatever it is and hurting in places you didn't know could hurt and then you realize that you can't get back up.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Tired


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Citrine79

Mediocre.


----------



## CNikki

Tired. Apparently it's discouraged to nap during the day, so I guess there is no other choice than to turn to caffeine. 🤷‍♀️


----------



## Crisigv

Cautious


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I am hear about it? Really? 😒 Dang typos. Lol I didn't catch that typo until after I sent the email. Instead, it should've simply said I didn't hear about it. Not I am hear about it. 😐


----------



## Crisigv

Just lonely. Working in retail makes me hate everyone, yet I'm craving relationships outside my family.


----------



## CNikki

A bit of relief even though I know it's temporary. It's nice to actually get to sit with someone and share some personal things - especially knowing as to how it can/will impact the near future. I'm all for focusing on that and tuning everything else out.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Tired


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## BleedingHearts

bittersweet nostalgia


----------



## Citrine79

Bored and lonely.


----------



## CNikki

Foggy. Like my body and brain are operating at a different pace. It has been like this since yesterday...


----------



## Tetragammon

So tired. I hate going to bed early; I can't even differentiate the hours I spent tossing and turning and the time I actually spent asleep. I had to take the dog in for a grooming appointment this morning and took the opportunity to get some breakfast but ugh. My body just can't seem to handle "normal" rhythms like everyone else. Why can't everyone else at least appease us night owls?


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## Blue Dino




----------



## Dan the man

burnt out


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Irritated  


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Tired


----------



## coeur_brise

Like a free woman. If I want to come home with an inconspicuous brown paper bag full of wine, then I will tyvm.


----------



## Citrine79

Unwell.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Citrine79

The struggle is real.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Tired 🥱 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## hauntedbyreality

I'm trapped. I'm so trapped.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

It's hot as a ***** outside. Backs of my knees are sweating.


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

I really struggle with such a simple question. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## mt moyt

i may have covid again. Got a headache and muscle aches waking up today and persisted all day. but what are the chances of getting it again in less than 2 months


----------



## Jeremiahgirl

Why does it matter when one does say how they feel and that feeling (though expressed in a different way) is censored??? Yet, their expression can be can be seen as triggering makes not f…..g sense! 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Citrine79

Frustrated as always. Plus, really distracted and unmotivated.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Pissed off when one of the managers got in my face and rushed me then got an attitude. He must be on the alcohol again. 🙄 I can't stand alcoholics and I also have been fed up with people in general. I should be past that and not having to deal with aggressive people. I almost snapped back at him for rushing me and I kept trying to tell him how he was wrong. I was in the middle of doing like two other things. Wtf? Of course, he didn't want to hear me trying to explain myself. People can't stand it when I tell them they're wrong when there's proof. Lol They never do. Then, finally he got it right after I kept telling him. Lol I'm not going to back down. Nope...Keep getting an attitude like that with me and see how far it takes you, loser. 😒


----------



## floyd the barber

had a few too many last night, so I only slept about 3 hours but I still got up, worked out and showered. So, I feel proud of myself for not just sleeping in.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Lol I'm a bit embarrassed. I tried to cancel my gym membership in person and the guy there told me it would be like a 50 something dollar fee. I told him I'll just keep it and told him I'm sorry for wasting your time. But its upsetting I have to pay that fee. Thats way more than my gym membership per month. I might as well just be stuck paying 10 dollars a month for a long time at this point. The guy there kind of laughed and joked about me keeping my gym membership so it wasn't too embarrassing but still.


----------



## Blue Dino




----------



## Tetragammon

Feeling generally bleh today and don't understand why. It's almost like I can feel a massive headache coming on but it never actually starts. And I've been feeling really hot even though we have the aircon set to 80 degrees F as usual. I've checked my temperature twice today but it's been normal, thankfully. So hopefully this isn't an onset of covid or anything. Maybe just depression ****ing with my whole body again, idk.


----------



## Crisigv

Confused, I think I just saw a guy run by my house with his shorts down, with his friends. Hope you're having fun, lol.


----------



## Citrine79

Meh. Nothing to do as always.


----------



## floyd the barber

i feel so alone so depressed


----------



## CNikki

Well…a decent mood has been shot down.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Full from all that ice cream "hiccups"


----------



## alwaysrunning

Okay so feeling a bit nervous now. I just changed what I was wearing haha.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Unwanted


----------



## floyd the barber

like i'm some sort of freak no one wants to talk to me, make a friend


----------



## Citrine79

In a rather sour mood today…I don’t do well on Mondays.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Relieved. I had a better night last night and also got some better sleep.


----------



## Citrine79

Struggling as usual.


----------



## Crisigv

Annoyed


----------



## alwaysrunning

Tired. I went to clean a family members place yesterday got back home and didn't shower, brush my teeth, set my other alarm. Today I switched off the alarms that I had set and just laid back down. Fortunately I got up 15 minutes later than planned.


----------



## Crisigv

Today's not a good day


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Been thirsty all day. I have my AC on and a fan to help circulate but it must be that hot. I was sweating some. I know my face was as red as a tomato yesterday and the day before.


----------



## Great Expectations

Feeling sad and hopeless.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm feeling like the this is fine meme recently. Last two days were good but before then not so much. Then today was a bit bad this morning before work then turned out to be a pretty good day. But I'm still dealing with that problem. And also another problem I'm dealing with. It's whatever.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

It's 4pm and my feet are tired already, lol. My shift ends in another hour.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted & ashamed


----------



## Citrine79

The sad/feeling of dread sense I usually get on most Sundays has already kicked in. And I have nothing whatsoever to do today so probably will be drowning in self-pity along with wasting time on social media.


----------



## CNikki

Drowsy and unmotivated.


----------



## Starcut83

Worn down emotionally. I've had several mini break downs in and out of therapy over the last few weeks. Fortunately, I feel things are turning around...slowly...but surely.


----------



## coeur_brise

I feel stuck again despite going out yesterday.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

coeur_brise said:


> I feel stuck again despite going out yesterday.


 I feel stuck in every possible way.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and forgotten


----------



## floyd the barber

i feel like nobody really sees me.


----------



## coeur_brise

WillYouStopDave said:


> I feel stuck in every possible way.


It is hard to get unstuck. I go through stages of less stuck and more stuck. Hopefully today is one of those less-stuck days.


----------



## pillbugger

A constant, white hum, fills the room with vibrations. Everything is canceled out, as if I'm in my own world. A blackout. If only I could keep the blessed machine on at all times, but things get in the way.

My mental health is thankful for air conditioners, as it keeps the negative thoughts away. I'm afraid that I am going to try and find a way to keep it on even during colder months.


----------



## floyd the barber

drunk but i hate that my neighbors are so loud with playing music but when i record some songs they get mad


----------



## alwaysrunning

Kinda sad. When I get outside I find that nobody cares that I'm skating but everytime before it is really hard to get out there. It's a forever returning battle.


----------



## Humesday

I'm feeling pretty good: exhilarated, aggressive, and motivated.


----------



## Great Expectations

This depression is unrelenting.


----------



## Folded Edge

pillbugger said:


> A constant, white hum, fills the room with vibrations. Everything is canceled out, as if I'm in my own world. A blackout. If only I could keep the blessed machine on at all times, but things get in the way.
> 
> My mental health is thankful for air conditioners, as it keeps the negative thoughts away. I'm afraid that I am going to try and find a way to keep it on even during colder months.



Have you considered a White Noise Machine? Might be the answer, and I'd guess a lot cheaper to run than AC.


----------



## Folded Edge

alwaysrunning said:


> Kinda sad. When I get outside I find that nobody cares that I'm skating but everytime before it is really hard to get out there. It's a forever returning battle.


Stick with it. Easy for me to say, I know.


----------



## Crisigv

Drained and heavy


----------



## pillbugger

Folded Edge said:


> Have you considered a White Noise Machine? Might be the answer, and I'd guess a lot cheaper to run than AC.


I actually bought a small one, but I found out that I need something big and loud. Something to rival the wall-rumbling, inconsiderate-neighbor-irritating beast that is the AC machine. Blocking noise is not sufficient, I need to block the vibrations of others. ☹ Not sure if I can ever find something like that, that won't cost as much as an AC but thanks for the advice!


----------



## Citrine79

Increased anxiety and feeling of malaise because it is “that time of the month”. Supposed to be very warm today so that makes me feel even more uncomfortable.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Well, I had a good and productive day today so there's that.


----------



## Crisigv

Pathetic


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Unworthy


----------



## Socialmisfits

Misunderstood


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

The one time I play my music from my phone with no earphones plugged in and I had it low and the landlord just so happens to come by, so I turned it off. Lol I don't even like anyone hearing my music anyways. I wanted to at least hear my music for a few minutes. I wonder if he heard the music I was playing. Probably not. Phones don't get very loud even playing music at high volume compared to a boombox. I was standing by my car, too. I wonder why he was coming by this late. But then again, I have heard him at night on his golf cart checking out the places so it sorta makes sense. It was a little awkward. I need one of those things I can hook my phone to my clothing so I can listen to my music with my earphones while I'm doing other stuff.


----------



## Starcut83

Tired AF


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Good day turned into a bad night.


----------



## Citrine79

Meh. Usual Sunday blues setting in. Really muggy and uncomfortable also.


----------



## Pechorin

Booked a spontaneous trip to Estonia today. Quite excited. Never been that far east in Europe.


----------



## floyd the barber

sad, beyond sad


----------



## Humesday

I'm feeling emotionally weak


----------



## copper

Irritable and I am having joint pain all over. Mom calls me irritating me more. Always calling me rant and raving about dad. Why can't she call my brother for once?


----------



## Starcut83

Clearly I'm grieving. I feel angry now, but...it's just grief.


----------



## Humesday

pleased


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted, stressed, depressed, angry, & hopeless


----------



## Fever Dream

Sore


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Annoyed with work today. Had a headache after awhile and I never did catch up on all my work so I got behind. I'm not like superman so I don't know what they expect. My boss expected me to get glass off the floor that wasn't even mine while I had other crap to do and someone else that was near could've gotten it. 

Thank god tomorrow's my last day until my day off. I want my me time once again.


----------



## caelle

I'm really depressed. Meds aren't working. I'm not making any progress with my anxiety and depression.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely


----------



## Starcut83

I'm burning like the sun I'm so freaking hot.


----------



## Humesday

tired


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I don't know. Well, I certainly don't like people disrespecting my stuff like its nothing. _sigh_ 

At least I'm off tomorrow.


----------



## Crisigv

Worthless


----------



## zonebox

Not so bad, although I think at times society would rather I felt miserable. Despite that, I can still look into the sky and feel a sense of awe of it all, even something as simple as looking at my feet and staring at something others feel as insignificant as seeing an ant trail in a path fascinates me. Despite the hardships one may experience in life, I can still set my gaze upon the simplest of things, and find appreciation in them. 

It is a remarkable thing, to find gold in what others consider a pile of excrement, I hope I never lose that ability. I likewise hope that those of you reading this, might find significance and appreciation in this world.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I took like a really short nap. Wasn't but like 30 minutes. Better than nothing, though.


----------



## Crisigv

Like garbage. I'm tired and anxious. Home is crap, work is crap. No escape.


----------



## Folded Edge

zonebox said:


> Not so bad, although I think at times society would rather I felt miserable. Despite that, I can still look into the sky and feel a sense of awe of it all, even something as simple as looking at my feet and staring at something others feel as insignificant as seeing an ant trail in a path fascinates me. Despite the hardships one may experience in life, I can still set my gaze upon the simplest of things, and find appreciation in them.
> 
> It is a remarkable thing, to find gold in what others consider a pile of excrement, I hope I never lose that ability. I likewise hope that those of you reading this, might find significance and appreciation in this world.


I always enjoy your posts zonebox. You have a great way of seeing things.
I hope I can take your advice onboard a bit more.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Skipped lunch today. Wasn't in the mood tbh. I might eat supper. Don't know yet.


----------



## floyd the barber

I was feeling great. I walked to this populated cafe place, had some of the best coffee and an Italian soda. Even got the nerve to talk to the barista, he was very kind. THEN almost home walking some little punk threw something at me behind my back, hitting my shoulder. I had my ear buds in, I thought somebody punched me, I take them out and his little apoligzed profusely and seemed scared. I told her it wasn't a big deal and don't worry about it. The little prick was aiming for my head. He's lucky he's not 18. I had such a good exposure session and this little **** ruined it. I will be talking to his parents next time I pass through down the street.


----------



## pillbugger

Those eyebrows, I look like Frida Kahlo's brother or something, no wonder people always looked at me ... 🤣 That teacher-bully was right, I do look like a princess, an evil one at that, especially with that cat on my lap. Why did no one tell me to cut my hair? ... My "aunts" sure did gather a whole bunch of people for me and my sister's birthday parties wow, lots of people I don't even know. Such a lively childhood whenever they appear ... Ha! Mom looks like she could fit in a gothic rock band or something ... I should really ask her about the ones with the mystery man holding me, with his face ripped off, you know, before she passes away, but I'll probably never will.

I'm just secretly looking through ancient albums, and roughly digitizing some old photos into my laptop, while making remarks by my lonesome. Looking at old pictures is timeless and always bittersweet.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm in utter shock and disbelief right now. Feels almost surreal. But I'm unsure if anything even happened. No wonder I had no appetite yesterday. I feel like such a curse. I know I'm not but sometimes it feels like I am.


----------



## Folded Edge

Sitting in the local park again today because it’s been so warm here, and my flat is like an oven. (Nothing I can do about it, sadly)

Sitting watching all the couples and friends, all setting together and meeting up, has left me feeling pretty down knowing I’m stuck on my own for however long I've got left, single and friendless. I'm better not seeing others going about their lives, it's easier to get on with my lot in life.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm relieved that I have the weekend off, but it reminds me of how lonely I am.


----------



## Starcut83

****ing amazing!


----------



## Humesday

My lack of discipline is disappointing


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Feel like I have my normal life back now.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm not sure what to think anymore. I think I blow things out of proportion and come up with the worst case scenario. I know I'm not schizo but I probably have paranoid personality disorder. 😅


----------



## Socialmisfits

I’m Very anxious about my father’s cancer. He is getting treatment but it seems all kind of complications turn up. It is good or bad? We don’t know. 
I understand doctors need holidays too but we are here with burning questions and we have nobody to turn to.

My life will never be the same again if he dies. it would be a crossroads type of event and I am totally not ready for this.


----------



## Crisigv

My anxiety is through the roof. Today was not a good day. I'm just hiding in my car until people drive off.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Socialmisfits said:


> I’m Very anxious about my father’s cancer. He is getting treatment but it seems all kind of complications turn up. It is good or bad? We don’t know.
> I understand doctors need holidays too but we are here with burning questions and we have nobody to turn to.
> 
> My life will never be the same again if he dies. it would be a crossroads type of event and I am totally not ready for this.


 What kind of cancer? Most times you can kind of get a good idea of how worried you should be by knowing what kind of cancer it is and what stage it is. Medical community has had lots of experience with most common forms of cancer so their statistics are pretty accurate.


----------



## Socialmisfits

WillYouStopDave said:


> What kind of cancer? Most times you can kind of get a good idea of how worried you should be by knowing what kind of cancer it is and what stage it is. Medical community has had lots of experience with most common forms of cancer so their statistics are pretty accurate.


cancer on the bladder. It shouldn’t be at an advanced state but the treatment seems painful and there is blood involved and this is 2 weeks after the last chemo. 
The time before this it never happened, it all went by swiftly.
It is frustrating how unorganized everything seems, why isn’t there a replacement specialist who can be reached out to, I don’t get it.
My father is one who easily panics so mentally he is very worried and if he is worried then I am too.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Socialmisfits said:


> cancer on the bladder. It shouldn’t be at an advanced state but the treatment seems painful and there is blood involved and this is 2 weeks after the last chemo.
> The time before this it never happened, it all went by swiftly.
> It is frustrating how unorganized everything seems, why isn’t there a replacement specialist who can be reached out to, I don’t get it.
> My father is one who easily panics so mentally he is very worried and if he is worried then I am too.


 I assume he will be getting surgery? In those cases it seems like they use chemo to shrink the tumor first and reduce the odds it will come back. My guess would be they would have told him if it was very advanced.


----------



## Socialmisfits

WillYouStopDave said:


> I assume he will be getting surgery? In those cases it seems like they use chemo to shrink the tumor first and reduce the odds it will come back. My guess would be they would have told him if it was very advanced.


Well this is the second time a tumor appears. The first time a few years ago it was a big and was surgically removed. Now it are just small spots and they should be destroyed by chemo which is brought in through the penis, it is very local and it should give almost no complications. But this is not the case apparently. A pee sample is being researched now, we will know more tomorrow.

It usually comes back every few years but that’s cancer right, it almost always comes back sooner or later.


----------



## Crisigv

Not good at all


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Stuck


----------



## Skeletra

CNikki said:


> Tired. Apparently it's discouraged to nap during the day, so I guess there is no other choice than to turn to caffeine. 🤷‍♀️


What!? Naps are the best part of a day. You do you. Take a nap if you feel like it.
———

Im drained. I’m having a rough day wandering down the bad part of memory lane. Playing with some old demons.


----------



## Citrine79

Been doing halfway decent of late but today wasn’t great. Uneasy about work related stuff again.


----------



## CNikki

Tired and a little cranky. 





Skeletra said:


> What!? Naps are the best part of a day. You do you. Take a nap if you feel like it.


From what I remember, I think I napped shortly after making that post anyway.


----------



## 8888

Pretty depressed


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Holy crap. There was a big millipede inside of the ground where I had to turn the water off. It wasn't a super big one or anything. But I didn't think we got big ones like that around here. I've never seen one that big. Actually, it was a centipede.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Thoughts in my head won't go away.


----------



## coeur_brise

Anxious/excited. It could go either way so I'm just alarmed.


----------



## zonebox

Happy for my neighbor, he was carted off to the hospital on the 16th and we hadn't a clue what happened. Last night while pulling into our driveway we saw him and talked to him for a short while, all is good - but his blood sugar did dip down to 34, which is really low. He was in the hospital until yesterday after that, but otherwise he is good.. he did look a little wobbly on his feet still though. I guess he has type 1 diabetes, which I never knew about, he must be in his late 70s by now, so it must have taken quite a lot out of him. 

I'm glad we will still have him as our neighbor, hopefully for many years to come.


----------



## Starcut83




----------



## Folded Edge

A bit deflated after having been away for a few days. Everything is sadly as it was before. 😆


----------



## Crisigv

Detached


----------



## CNikki

I'm trying hard to not go off the deep end of 'sadness' and anything else it decides to tag along. It's increasingly getting harder to do so.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I really feel like life is rubbing it in my face and I can't stop thinking about things. I want to be happier. I was happy for a long time but things have really been getting to me. I can still function at work but the distractions are making it a bit harder. Ugh. It's almost miserable. Still trying not to get down in the dumps but of course it's not easy.


----------



## floyd the barber

I just feel like I don't belong anywhere. I just keep thinking of this. I don't know what do anymore. Feels like I'm drowning.


----------



## 8888

I’m still feeling pretty depressed.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm happy that I'll die someday.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Upset with this thing I have to do online for work and the website is having technical issues. And I'll have to go to work tomorrow on my day off to get some of it done.


----------



## Starcut83

Crisigv said:


> I'm happy that I'll die someday.


I'm so sorry you feel that way and that feel like a worthless person. I know exactly how that feels, I can remember. Just know there are many people who care even if they don't know you, I empathize and feel for the pain you're going through.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and tired of hurting


----------



## Humesday

demoralized


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not looking forward to the stinging sensation I'm going to get next week when I get blood work done. 😬 It'll be over in only a few seconds but yea.


----------



## Crisigv

Emotional


----------



## Blue Dino

On/off ibs and gi issues for weeks.


----------



## Starcut83

So refreshed, I slept great! I really needed it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Well, I guess being somewhat confident at work today made up for my crummy morning. I'm like that a lot, though where I'll be confident one minute then quiet the next. Been like that for a long time now. It's definitely an improvement. I hope the coming days will continue to be good ones at least for awhile. It's a miracle I can still manage to be positive with some of the problems I have. Lol...


----------



## Starcut83

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Well, I guess being somewhat confident at work today made up for my crummy morning. I'm like that a lot, though where I'll be confident one minute then quiet the next. Been like that for a long time now. It's definitely an improvement. I hope the coming days will continue to be good ones at least for awhile. *It's a miracle I can still manage to be positive with some of the problems I have*. Lol...


I don't think it's a miracle, I think it's just a part of who you are.


----------



## Starcut83

Was able to get another good nights sleep. I'm catching up after 12-14 days of intensity. Tomorrow I'll be good as gold.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

This woman gave me a look of pure disgust when I asked if she needed help with anything. I can tell people really don't like it when you ask that question. 😒 I remember one woman almost shouting at me to say no I don't and rolled her eyes when I asked that before. It's a dumb question but I'm not being mean or doing any harm. So it's whatever.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

My allergies have had me sneezing & with a runny nose all week


----------



## pillbugger

😐. Cans and food stacked onto miniature plastic skyscrapers, hordes of clothes stored in whatever they can be stored, a room chock-full of dolls watching down on you, and now a bunch of used furniture filling the remaining space, with a huge one sitting right down in the middle of the living room. Thing's going to kill someone if it topples over.


----------



## Crisigv

Sad and lonely


----------



## OafFish

Alone


----------



## Crisigv

Done


----------



## Starcut83

A beautiful sorrow


----------



## Citrine79

Really lousy…PMS, migraines, some combination of sinus/teeth issues and gross humidity levels all have been effecting me the past few days. Also, around Labor day weekend begins my annual decent into seasonal affective depression on top of everything else.


----------



## pillbugger

I'm going to feel like a failed experiment if mom actually succeeds at connecting my old psychiatrist with me. It would be extremely shameful for me, for him to see me after so many years of rotting away despite his many efforts. Fingers crossed that she won't.

Also, someone responded to my ad.  Looks like I am finally getting my wanted- Oh... it's just someone else asking me to redirect offers to him if I'm offered a similar item.


----------



## Starcut83

A little tired as the sun starts to go down. I either bounce back or go to bed in a few hours. I really want to be rested before tomorrow, I'll just wait till I get sleepy.


----------



## harrison

Today I'm fine again - but yesterday I felt like the lowest form of human life and that I should be ashamed to even be walking on the same streets as ordinary people. Might have been because I adjusted my medication but I do get like that sometimes.


----------



## Starcut83

I feel like I've processed a lifetime of emotions in almost three weeks. I know I'm okay despite letting go of a lot of past loneliness and depression today. I think it's finally coming to an end soon. But I don't know for sure.


----------



## floyd the barber

i don't even know anymore


----------



## Starcut83

Sometimes there's just not much to know, there's always plenty of knowledge to be gained though if something interests you


----------



## Crisigv

I'm a mess. I wish I could turn off all my emotions.


----------



## Starcut83

I feel a little numb at the moment. I've been through so much lately.


----------



## harrison

I feel like I'm sort of on the edge of something. I know it's because I dropped my meds a bit - my thinking changes slightly and I start to feel a bit tingly. My senses are heightened and I'm a bit elevated. It actually feels pretty good.

Probably better not to get too close to any airports at the moment though.


----------



## Starcut83

Feeling okay. Not much to say right now. I think my thoughts are slowing down finally.


----------



## Crisigv

Regretful


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless, offkilter, high, forethoughtful


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I found a pair of tye dye bicycle shorts today I thought were 5 dollars but turned out to only be 1.62 total after tax. Wow. I had to look at the receipt to make sure it was 1.62 cause I thought I heard her right. They're pretty comfy.


----------



## zonebox

Like a Timex. My gears and casing keep me going pretty well 😜

If you are old, you will get it.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

zonebox said:


> Like a Timex. My gears and casing keep me going pretty well 😜
> 
> If you are old, you will get it.


 If you're really old, you'll feel like a Fossil.


----------



## harrison

Still a bit over-medicated.


----------



## Starcut83

A bit more like myself finally.


----------



## Crisigv

Hurt. The people at the barber shop in the mall just called me disgusting as I walked by. They were looking right at me. How am I supposed to ever feel comfortable leaving the house.


----------



## 4Philip

I feel tense. Very tense


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Crisigv said:


> Hurt. The people at the barber shop in the mall just called me disgusting as I walked by. They were looking right at me. How am I supposed to ever feel comfortable leaving the house.


Wow, those people are the ones that sound disgusting.


----------



## Crisigv

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Wow, those people are the ones that sound disgusting.


Yeah, but it must be true. It's all I can think about.


----------



## Citrine79

Anxiety is high. I have to face these dental issues soon…very soon. And I don’t know how I going to handle it.


----------



## Starcut83

Serious. Very serious. I don't like it but it's the mood I feel today. I hope I can lighten up some later or by tomorrow.


----------



## Starcut83

A calm anger...some ****er better not say a damn word...


----------



## Starcut83

Thankfully that didn't last long.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm glad the work day is over. It was crazy at the end. I just have to make it home.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I have an ulcer in my mouth almost near the edge of my lip. Haven't had one in months I don't think. Those things hurt with ketchup badly and I noticed it the other day. Of course, anything that has sodium in it will make it worse. And brushing teeth sucks horribly when you have one. Weird how mixing salt in water and swishing it in your mouth gets rid of one when salty foods make it worse. 🤣


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I have an ulcer in my mouth almost near the edge of my lip. Haven't had one in months I don't think. Those things hurt with ketchup badly and I noticed it the other day. Of course, anything that has sodium in it will make it worse. And brushing teeth sucks horribly when you have one. Weird how mixing salt in water and swishing it in your mouth gets rid of one when salty foods make it worse. 🤣


 Get some Orajel. The kind with the antiseptic and pain reliever in it. Great stuff. Expensive but I've been using the same tube for months.


----------



## Starcut83

A lot better than yesterday morning.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> Get some Orajel. The kind with the antiseptic and pain reliever in it. Great stuff. Expensive but I've been using the same tube for months.


Yea, that's fortunate cause a lot of stuff you get like that, you can only use once before it goes bad. But that's mainly medicine. I've had Orajel before but then quit using it.


----------



## CNikki

Like crap. With the weather going from 85F+* yesterday to now lower 70's and gloomy is not really helping anything.


----------



## Starcut83

Calm, a little sadness, and slightly concerned.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm in a lot of physical pain right now.


----------



## Humesday

irritated


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired from work.


----------



## Depo

Neutral. 😐


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Pretty upset. An obvious narcissistic coworker of mine said she would tell on me to my boss about some very minor thing. She can't get me fired so screw her. I hope she has cold water in her shower for a week. At the very least, I might have to deal with unnecessary drama I don't need in my life. I can't stand confrontations, let alone confrontations with the boss.


----------



## Crisigv

Left out


----------



## zonebox

Could be worst.


----------



## Citrine79

Too anxious to sleep.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Relieved

I got the people at the car place to check my car for all problems and they didn't find anything wrong but they couldn't put transmission fluid in my car. Thwy said my car should last me a long time. It's missing the plug for it so I need to buy one. Nothing that some paper can't do to make a funnel for the fluid to go through.

I had to get an oil change again even though I just got one like 3 weeks ago cause the transmission fluid I bought got put where the oil dipstick was. Lol So, a bit of a waste to get two oil changes in one month. But I did it just in case even though it won't necessarily damage my car. 

I've had this car for a year and two days from now will be a year and one month. So, I will have had it almost as long as the Nissan Versa I previously owned.


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling very meh. I don't want to be here right now.


----------



## floyd the barber

i've been majorly depressed lately but i received a tax thing from the state in the mail for 350, so i'm feeling a bit better now


----------



## Blue Dino

I joined a workout class in my gym on Saturday evening. Did a few exercises that I never did. And my whole body has been sore since yesterday. The soreness got even worse today. Many parts of my abdomen hurt. Now I can't tell if those are soreness or it's pain from my organs related to my reccurring GI issues. I also wonder if I'm having malabsorption issues so my muscles aren't recovering properly, hence the soreness.


----------



## harrison

Very relieved. I've had dizziness from vestibular migraine for so long and I finally found a few places that I think can help me.


----------



## Tetragammon

Sigh. I'm feeling too exhausted to argue with stupid people.


----------



## Crisigv

Very confused


----------



## Humesday

resolute


----------



## Blue Dino

My body soreness seems to be dissipating finally.


----------



## Crisigv

Very anxious and still fighting back the depression. But I'm glad I took a walk anyway.


----------



## CNikki

Tired and bored.


----------



## Humesday

sore


----------



## Crisigv

I'm sore, in places.


----------



## Citrine79

Really hopeless and sad. There is no one (other than my therapist) who understands, cares or won’t pass judgement on me and I am including my family members in that.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not special in the slightest. I wish I felt that way but I may never know what that feeling is like.


----------



## Humesday

inebriated


----------



## Starcut83

Open to the possibility of good things. Optimistic.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel so alone. I'm almost completely emotionally detached from my family. It's just shelter at this point.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Like a loser. Can't even help a coworker out by doing a small favor asking him if he needed to use something at work without him squinting his eyebrows at me and saying no in a way that obviously sounded like what I was asking was so bizarre. I felt dumb about it so I won't ask the question ever again. Wow, I can't ever catch a break. I feel like a loser everywhere I go.

Almost every single person I have met has either been rude to me or obviously acted like I was weird that it makes me wonder if there is something deeper wrong with me. But I'm not going to let it get me down too much. It's when people have obvious looks on their face acting like I'm weird that really get to me, though.


----------



## Starcut83

Feeling better again...mostly...for a while...till the thoughts come back anyway...

Everything is fine till these few specific thoughts creep into my mind and throw everything off...and it seems unpredictable as to when they come...


----------



## CNikki

Unwell. Sort of bedridden because of it. Just so long as it remains that way and nothing worse.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sad and frustrated


----------



## discopotato

Worthless. I am so unaccomplished compared to other people my age.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sweaty


----------



## Starcut83

Relaxed, peaceful, and looking forward to the next couple of days.


----------



## Crisigv

Tired of being alone. Too scared to do anything about it.


----------



## SparklingWater

Overwhelmed. Miserable


----------



## Oasis-of-Reason

Depressed, determined, excited


----------



## Humesday

depressed and apathetic


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Defeated after an aggressive coworker asked for food I bought with my hard earned money even though she makes more than me with the position she has. I did stand up for myself and said no at first then she asked again so I gave in. Excuse me lady? I make less than you, already going through a bit of financial problems(but not majorly) at home and you have the audacity to be persistent about asking for food from me? Its whatever I guess. I still had plenty left so I'm not going to complain much but does she deserve even a little of what I had? Nope.


----------



## M0rbid

Suspicious


----------



## 8888

Annoyed


----------



## Cletis

Feeling a little better everyday. Diabetes is no fun.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

People treat me worse than garbage. Seems like I get taken advantage of on a daily basis.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I have a bit of a cold today, won't be going to work. My voice sounds groggy and I had sore throat when I woke up.


----------



## Dan the man

I was craving pizza all week. 

I got lost driving to the pizza restaurant. It's been a while. The the pizza itself burned the top of my mouth. I've read on line this is called pizza palate


So not really the best day for me


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling productive. I've thrown away so many foundations and concealers that are old or no longer work for me. I'll have so much extra space and will be able to fit them all with my powders in one drawer. I may do my lip drawer next.

I'm also excited for dinner, we're ordering in from a local pub that has amazing food. Today's my cheat day. It's been a few weeks.


----------



## CNikki

Lousy Saturday here. Woke up late in part because I kept getting woken throughout the night. Then had a good 3 hour nap which could have been longer if I had let it.

Just one of those days. Hoping it doesn't become frequent again.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sad because I got my vacation time delayed at the last minute until October 17th. I've never heard of anyone's vacations getting delayed before but I guess it's happened. Oh well. I didn't want to take this week coming up off anyways cause next Monday is an important day to be at work and I need to be prepared at least 2 or 3 days before that day. :/


----------



## Citrine79

Meh. Struggling with the usual stuff. Work is getting tough again…old problems that were never fixed on top of new problems that will likely never be fixed. Combined with my laziness, less than stellar motivation and my growing social media addiction…things aren’t going too good right now.


----------



## Humesday

proud and angry


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely


----------



## Citrine79

Depressed and unmotivated.


----------



## Orb

Pretty rough. Got covid for the first time and it's hitting hard.


----------



## Humesday

Apprehensive and annoyed


----------



## floyd the barber

I have been feeling better, doing a lot of exposure therapy man i've missed the outdoors. i love fall. the trees are so beautiful here.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Guess I feel like crap cause I never have anyone to help me with things in life. I just do it all by myself even for major things. I thought I was supposed to do things on my own cause that's what I was told but I guess not after all. I have no connections or anyone to help me with things in general. :/


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless & unsettled


----------



## Citrine79

Sad, depressed, lonely, frustrated…feeling all of this. I had a bad migraine to start the day and have had several meltdowns including one right now. Social media and the news is all depressing, dystopian stuff that is making me feel worse especially with the amount I consume. I hate my job and my employer but I am stuck with it and that is a tough pill to swallow.


----------



## Crisigv

Scared to act on the Bumble likes I've been getting. A couple guys actually seemed like they would be nice/compatible. 😕


----------



## Citrine79

Miserable. 😭


----------



## Crisigv

I'm so uncomfortable working in this mall.


----------



## Humesday

dejected


----------



## 4Philip

Crisigv said:


> I'm in a lot of physical pain right now.


Hey, me too!
Skin, right.
For me, it’s my back
They got me on 600mg advil every 4-6hr


----------



## Crisigv

4Philip said:


> Hey, me too!
> Skin, right.
> For me, it’s my back
> They got me on 600mg advil every 4-6hr


Mine's my back too actually, among other things.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Still fighting this damn cold.


----------



## CNikki

Now I just feel groggy and nauseated. Couldn't really sleep properly throughout the night. Might as well bring back the works at full force at this point.


----------



## Folded Edge

Pretty stupid, well more than usual.


----------



## harrison

Folded Edge said:


> Pretty stupid, well more than usual.


You're not stupid at all mate.


----------



## Crisigv

Like worthless garbage. And I have a bad headache.


----------



## copper

Extremely crabby. Day went to heck. Got a call from Corporate Compliance at work. Usually employees are in hot water when they call. Since my boss retired I have feared Admin will go after me to get rid of me. He asked me questions like a cop. I hate people that have issues with me don't come to me they go upstairs to tattle. Then leaving the bathroom one of the team leaders was acting like a jerk saying am I try to hurt him when I open the bathroom door to exit. Then don't walk on that side of the hall right in front of the door. He is weird. One day he is real friendly and then the next he treats others like crap.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Today at work was a bit stressful and never got caught up. I had a task I needed to do after all that and never even got started on it. Would be nice to get a helper on days like this. Ugh. They're only once a month but those are days I could use someone.


----------



## Crisigv

Not good


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Tired


----------



## CNikki

Alone. I wish I can speak to someone who can relate to my given situation. Maybe it'll help from getting into hypochondria-mode.


----------



## Crisigv

Rejected. I know people don't like me, but I can't change who I am.


----------



## discopotato

Dead inside.


----------



## Humesday

groggy


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm not sure. A coworker told me it was odd that as soon as I walked by her, a customer instantly stopped doing what he was doing and left. She asked me if I knew him and she said it was odd. I have no clue who the man is. She said he acted like he was scared of me or something. Just something else to make me feel crappy I guess. :/ Or she's looking too much into it. I have no clue. I didn't even do anything...


----------



## floyd the barber

bad day so far, i swear i feel like i'm gonna relapse. man im stuck


----------



## starrynightlight

artynerd said:


> This is just a place to vent, feel happy or feel sad or whatever your mood!
> 
> But if you are feeling glum, this is to anyone who needs a hug!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _hugs_ =]
> 
> and if you are having a rough day, just know that someone out there cares about you.




i feel like dog crap i hate school so much i hate everyone in my class


----------



## CNikki

Not really sure why but I had the rare need to receive a hug. (I'll hug if it's initiated, otherwise it's rare that I actually want to be given one...)


----------



## Crisigv

Not good, I hate being a loser


----------



## Humesday

mellow


----------



## Citrine79

Depressed and lonely.


----------



## CNikki

A little bit worried. Hopefully it subsides by tomorrow.


----------



## PeanutButterOatBars

artynerd said:


> This is just a place to vent, feel happy or feel sad or whatever your mood!
> 
> But if you are feeling glum, this is to anyone who needs a hug!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _hugs_ =]
> 
> and if you are having a rough day, just know that someone out there cares about you.


trying to learn to be okay with being alone. and then the deep dark pit of loneliness hits. its so painful.


----------



## CNikki

Felt somewhat reassured. Now it's diving back to being worried again.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm past the breaking point now. I deserve so much better.


----------



## Crisigv

Not good


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm past the breaking point now. I deserve so much better.


Seems like things are just piling up on me. Now, I'm being told to only wash 15 items of clothing at a time cause apparently it was my fault for the dryer messing up a month ago. Figures I'd somehow be the reason everything messes up.

So, that means more laundry days? You've got to be kidding me. I really need a break from life. 3 days a week is overkill for me and I have to get work clothes washed. I don't get why I'm limited with the amount of clothes I have to do. Makes no sense. Makes doing laundry harder. When things couldnt get worse. 😩


----------



## m4m8

Not awful, but not great either.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Pissed. I left my only keys in my car. So not sure yet how I'll be able to get in. I'm so tired of problems piling up.


----------



## Humesday

It's kind of amazing how pleasurable a simple shower can be sometimes. I'm feeling pretty good.


----------



## CNikki

Fatigued. At least I got a handful of things done. Still need to finish up a few more.


----------



## Humesday

Hopeless and despairing


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sluggish & sore


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Well, I feel relieved cause I got the fire department to come unlock my door in my car for free so I could get my keys. It took almost an hour. I wasn't very good with explaining to him how close he was to the unlock button. But it seemed like he did it the hard way instead of unlocking it from the door. Or maybe its the easier way. I dont know. So, he finally did that and got it in like 2 minutes. I had a headache after, which is no surprise. This is the second time I've had to call the fire department and the first time was a few years ago. I cannot let this happen again at least for a very long time.


----------



## PeanutButterOatBars

I'm actually content.


----------



## JH1983

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Well, I feel relieved cause I got the fire department to come unlock my door in my car for free so I could get my keys. It took almost an hour. I wasn't very good with explaining to him how close he was to the unlock button. But it seemed like he did it the hard way instead of unlocking it from the door. Or maybe its the easier way. I dont know. So, he finally did that and got it in like 2 minutes. I had a headache after, which is no surprise. This is the second time I've had to call the fire department and the first time was a few years ago. I cannot let this happen again at least for a very long time.



Does your car have a key fob or just keys? If it's an older car you can probably get a key fob from a junkyard really cheap or order one online and program it yourself. There's youtube videos for most anything like that. Does it have a separate key for the door than the ignition? Those kind of keys can usually be copied too like at Walmart or a hardware store.


----------



## Crisigv

Miserable and filled with dread for the work week.


----------



## floyd the barber

a girl i've been seeing left back to college in another state after we had sex. i feel so broken, i feel dirty, i feel used. i really thought she liked me


----------



## PeanutButterOatBars

Weird Fishes said:


> I've been having ups and downs ... directly to do with someone. I think I'm a bit obsessed and it's a horrible feeling ... when I'm talking to them I feel ok but then when I'm not it makes me feel sh*t. I just hope that things will turn out ok.


i have been there. it's torture.


----------



## PeanutButterOatBars

Crisigv said:


> Miserable and filled with dread for the work week.


i feel your pain


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

JH1983 said:


> Does your car have a key fob or just keys? If it's an older car you can probably get a key fob from a junkyard really cheap or order one online and program it yourself. There's youtube videos for most anything like that. Does it have a separate key for the door than the ignition? Those kind of keys can usually be copied too like at Walmart or a hardware store.


Oh wow. Mine has a key fob. I thought it was just house keys you could get copied at Walmart. I was told it's expensive to get another pair of keys but it must be like house keys kind of. So, I could easily get that done. I can use the same key for the door and the ignition.

I think I'm going to go to Lowe's since they're open all night. Well, Walmart is but where I need to go inside thr store to get another copy, it might be closed by the time I get there.


----------



## JH1983

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Oh wow. Mine has a key fob. I thought it was just house keys you could get copied at Walmart. I was told it's expensive to get another pair of keys but it must be like house keys kind of. So, I could easily get that done. I can use the same key for the door and the ignition.
> 
> I think I'm going to go to Lowe's since they're open all night. Well, Walmart is but where I need to go inside thr store to get another copy, it might be closed by the time I get there.


Well, if it's a chipped key a cheap copy won't work in the ignition, but it should work to open the door. The ignition has to detect that chip to start the car, but the door won't require that. 

What kind of car is it? I could probably tell you for sure.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

JH1983 said:


> Well, if it's a chipped key a cheap copy won't work in the ignition, but it should work to open the door. The ignition has to detect that chip to start the car, but the door won't require that.
> 
> What kind of car is it? I could probably tell you for sure.


It makes no sense to me that they'd ever really need to put a chip in a key. Even an ignition key. Considering how often people lose their keys it really seems like an unnecessary hassle. That's probably one of the few good things about owning an older car. I could get ten spare keys made for both of our cars. But the Toyota does have a security system that drains the battery overnight if you arm it (so we just don't arm it and lock the doors manually).

Pretty much all complicated security measures in cars are more trouble than they're worth in the long term. The only time I ever had anything stolen out of my car was in the early 90s. I had an expensive stereo in there and it grew legs. It turned out that the guy who stole it was a friend of mine (or I thought he was). It's a twisted story. I had a computer that he wanted so he bought it from me. I spent the money on the stereo. He stole the stereo and moved out of state a couple days later. I didn't figure it out that it was him until he was gone.


----------



## JH1983

WillYouStopDave said:


> It makes no sense to me that they'd ever really need to put a chip in a key. Even an ignition key. Considering how often people lose their keys it really seems like an unnecessary hassle. That's probably one of the few good things about owning an older car. I could get ten spare keys made for both of our cars. But the Toyota does have a security system that drains the battery overnight if you arm it (so we just don't arm it and lock the doors manually).
> 
> Pretty much all complicated security measures in cars are more trouble than they're worth in the long term. The only time I ever had anything stolen out of my car was in the early 90s. I had an expensive stereo in there and it grew legs. It turned out that the guy who stole it was a friend of mine (or I thought he was). It's a twisted story. I had a computer that he wanted so he bought it from me. I spent the money on the stereo. He stole the stereo and moved out of state a couple days later. I didn't figure it out that it was him until he was gone.



I think at least part of the reason is to force you to pay $200+ to the dealership to replace a lost key. I guess if you were really bad about losing the key you could just keep the original key in the ignition and have a bunch of copies made to carry and keep in reserve to open the doors with.

I have an off and on problem with the security system in my Buick. When it glitches you can't start the car and have to wait a minute and try again. I watched a YouTube video on how to bypass it, but haven't gotten around to it. I think it's too old and beat up for anyone to think it would be a good score to break into anyway unless they want an original factory CD/cassette combo and a few bucks in change.


----------



## PeanutButterOatBars

I feel good this morning. GOOD MORNING🌅🌄


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Disgusted and uncomfortable when one of the higher ups said it smells fishy then he said that's what his daughter smells like. Seems kind of vulgar to say about your daughter. I almost shuddered. 😖 I don't want to be around him after that.


----------



## Rockbuster

I feel as though I do not resonate with a single soul. People avoid me no matter how hard I try to normalize and fit in.


----------



## Citrine79

My job....ugh….total freaking misery. The main client I do work for continues to be a nightmare to deal with. I’m behind much more than I should be mostly because I don’t give a damn and spend a good deal of time when I should be working on social media instead. The actual work itself has been a mess as of late though and I just don’t have the patience to deal with it.

I’m depressed and angry right now about many things and social media is the last place I should be right now yet I cannot pull myself away.


----------



## CNikki

Tired and have some digestive issues. Fun times.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

JH1983 said:


> Does your car have a key fob or just keys? If it's an older car you can probably get a key fob from a junkyard really cheap or order one online and program it yourself. There's youtube videos for most anything like that. Does it have a separate key for the door than the ignition? Those kind of keys can usually be copied too like at Walmart or a hardware store.


Actually, it was already too late cause I went to Lowe's last night before I saw this post and couldn't get it done there. Lol The woman I talked to was a bit helpful cause she said she has the same problem and has to get that done then told me where to go to get it done for cheap. I kind of figured I wouldnt be able to get it done at Lowe's but it was worth a shot.

Yea, I have a key fob. Damn, I didn't think about going to a junkyard but then again I don't know much about this kind of stuff. I can use the same key for the ignition that I use for the door.


----------



## JH1983

PurplePeopleEater said:


> Actually, it was already too late cause I went to Lowe's last night before I saw this post and couldn't get it done there. Lol The woman I talked to was a bit helpful cause she said she has the same problem and has to get that done then told me where to go to get it done for cheap. I kind of figured I wouldnt be able to get it done at Lowe's but it was worth a shot.
> 
> Yea, I have a key fob. Damn, I didn't think about going to a junkyard but then again I don't know much about this kind of stuff. I can use the same key for the ignition that I use for the door.







__





Car-Part.com - Used Auto Parts Market







www.car-part.com





^ that's a junkyard parts finder you can input your car and look for a key fob near you. For something that small I'm sure you could get one shipped pretty cheap from anywhere. 

First thing I'd do is go on YouTube and type in your year and car + "program key fob" and see if it's something you think you can do. I got one for one of my cars a few years ago for $10 locally and programmed it in the junkyard parking lot. Wasn't too difficult at all.






^ that's the video for mine. Just find something like that for your car if you decide to go that route.

Idk about the ignition key, just depends if it's chipped or not. If it is chipped you should still be able to copy it and use it for the door, but it won't start the car. 










My work car is chipped too unfortunately. It's the top one and I only have the one. Not gonna pay like $200 for an extra one though it's like 25% of the value of the car lol.


----------



## PeanutButterOatBars

Rockbuster said:


> I feel as though I do not resonate with a single soul. People avoid me no matter how hard I try to normalize and fit in.


I feel happier Not trying to fit in.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

How I feel about working 7 days in a row and going one day with no break. Should be a decent paycheck.


----------



## meowman23

Disappointed and confused.


----------



## PeanutButterOatBars

PurplePeopleEater said:


> How I feel about working 7 days in a row and going one day with no break. Should be a decent paycheck.
> 
> 
> View attachment 150493


You go PurplePeopleEater!!!🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳


----------



## Crisigv

Meh, over it all


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

PeanutButterOatBars said:


> You go PurplePeopleEater!!!🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳


Lol Thanks. 😃


----------



## Crisigv

I'm upset that my pay wasn't adjusted to reflect the minimum wage increase. Now, I'm being paid that much closer to the minimum wage to be a manager. I also don't get benefits. I'm trying to take care of myself and prices of everything are so high. I should ask my district manager for a raise, but it really should have been an automatic thing to do for your employees. I feel like I should just quit.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Still not feeling 100%, will take the day off work again tomorrow.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Still not feeling 100%, will take the day off work again tomorrow.


 For me, the worst part of it was the kind of nagging cough that persisted for longer than most of the other symptoms did. But I guess I kind of felt generally unwell for quite a while. I had to make sure I wore a good mask if I came out of my room for any reason. Fortunately, my parents never got it.


----------



## PeanutButterOatBars

Tired😐


----------



## CNikki

Like I actually had a night’s rest for once after some time. Little to no disturbances.


----------



## Crisigv

Very anxious. I hate that I work in a mall. Everyone looks at me weird when I walk by. I know I'm ugly guys.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hopefully I will be back to work next Wednesday.


----------



## Folded Edge

A bit crap really


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I know I'll feel better later but at the moment I'm fuming mad cause some 22 year old prick was acting bossy to me towards the end of work today telling me what to do with my stuff at work so I did half of the stuff the opposite way and then he said the word friggin almost like he wanted to cuss at me instead and I apologized to him. I apologized to a bossy 22 year old. SMH. I almost wanted to cry. I can't stand people younger than me thinking they deserve respect for no reason. I did nothing to this guy. I almost have the audacity to say he's a narcissist with how absurd his bossiness was to me. With the trauma I've been through in my life, this is how some guy treats me. **** that guy.

I also can't stand older people thinking they deserve respect for no reason, either. Pretty much anyone at any age who thinks they don't have to earn respect and they can juat get it for no effort. I know for a fact if I told him what to do, he'd be crying to his mama about it. The prick probably just wanted to ruin my vacation. 

Rant over.


----------



## PeanutButterOatBars

Crash & Burn Mood


----------



## alwaysrunning

Apathetic. Struggling to sit down and do my college work or even care about it. Should go out for a jog as that may help.


----------



## Crisigv

Good, I just left Walmart without anxiety (which is very rare). It may not last, but I'll take it.


----------



## Zatch

I can't enjoy pizza sometimes without the cheese and toppings GLIDING OFF THE TOP when I pull. Leaving me with the bread and sauce. I usually try to fix it but it's never the same.


----------



## CNikki

Could be worse…could be better.


----------



## CWe

Irritable like I want to scream


----------



## Citrine79

Terrible…just terrible. Both physically and mentally. My mental health, which was already bad has been deteriorating even further of late. Having more frequent migraines, currently “that time of the month” with all the symptoms it brings and been fighting some kind of sinus/ear issue going on. Work also remains a nightmare on a number of levels.


----------



## CNikki

Between the shifts of feeling like I'm getting better, only to ironically take medicines and naps that still make me feel like I'm back at base one at some points, along with my mind going to places it 'shouldn't be', I'd say that this is not one of my best nights...


----------



## Crisigv

Not the best. I hope I can sleep.


----------



## Humesday

Awful


----------



## Crisigv

Sad


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, but tired from work today.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm furious. I got a call to come in on the last day of my vacation today. 😣 How can they do this to me? My workplace is evil.


----------



## Crisigv

Uneasy. My doctor wants to start me on medication for my anxiety and depression. It's not like my life is going to change. And people on here don't always have success with it.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Tired, had a long day today. Hanging out with a friend was fun, though.


----------



## CNikki

A little bit conflicted. But I think it's best if I wait to think over the situation once I find myself in a better standing health-wise and mentally. Everything is still a bit of a fog, likely in part because of my current health.


----------



## Citrine79

Hopeless and very depressed. I’ve been doing really bad for awhile now but the past week or so has been horrendous. Geniunely worried that whatever cold/sinus/perhaps Covid? going to ruin my sense of taste and smell for good. Can’t do much of either at the moment and I googled it and read that it can be permanent. I am beyond freaked out over this on top of everything else. Coffee and food is really the only thing I can sort of still enjoy and not being able to have that 😢


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sad. Today's going to be a headache of a day.


----------



## CNikki

A bit sluggish. Thought a nap would help but apparently not too much...


----------



## discopotato

Sad. Got my cats ashes back today


----------



## CNikki

Moody. Lonely. Just overall crankiness and anxiety is simply not helping the situation at all.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Accomplished for completing an application. The assessment wasn't that bad. But the questions are so ridiculous. You have to say yes on things that are BS. So, that's what I did.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm lonely. I want more people in my life.


----------



## SparklingWater

pretty content if I'm not focused on one particular area of my life.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Like crap and pretty mad.

Legit work related convo I had at work today.

Guy: Did you do all this stuff right here?

Me: Yea, why?

Guy: I was just wondering cause I don't like doing that stuff.

I...didn't know what to say to that.

Wow. People are so mean to me. I'm already going through more than like five different problems right now and the audacity of this guy to say this to my damn face. If I said that, I'd get scolded. I'm doing the work of 3 people and he says that to me.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Well, I applied to Walgreens so I guess I'm feeling motivated. I'm just going to take the application process slowly but not too slowly. Applying all day would just make me want to apply even less and give up.


----------



## PeanutButterOatBars

I feel crappy.


----------



## CNikki

Increasingly tired/fatigued.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Kind of sad about the water not being fixed over here. Can't wash dishes or take a shower or anything. And no one has told me anything about when it'll get fixed. It's like my job. People just keep me guessing. 

Only thing I can do is brush my teeth with water from a water bottle and piss in a cup. Yaaaay.


----------



## Crisigv

My back hurts so much. And another 2 skids tomorrow.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm glad I got help on my resume and got that completed.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm tired.


----------



## CNikki

Kind of like crap.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Ugh, I definitely don't exaggerate when I say I get treated worse than trash. So i feel worse than trash right now. I thought we only had cold water running cause I tried to take a shower and thought the hot water wasn't working. Lo and behold, my bf's brother and his friend were using all the hot water to dye their stupid hair. Everyone here is so obsessed with their...hair. My bf said he must've been using all the hot water like it was no big deal. So I go down to the other trailer to take a shower and wasn't thinking that it was because they used all the water. They had all that time to dye their hair and they do it after I'm getting off work. _sigh_

On top of it all, I had my car alarm going off cause I was holding several things in my hand when I was going to take a shower. Then, I had to pull my car up cause some dang car had to get by and that was the only way they could get to their trailer. On top of it all, I almost tripped going up the steps after doing all that all so I could take my shower and I wasnt even rushing. It was just dark as hell. It's like the way I get treated never ends. Even my life at home sucks *** a lot. There are good days still but I hate how I get treated in general. I want to get away from Georgia. This state is not made for someone like me I don't think. My bf needs to stop letting his brother bring friends over here. I hate it.

His brother has all the time in the world. Doesn't work or go to school yet decides to use the water after I get home. I wouldnt be surprised if his brother even makes fun of me of me in my own home.

I hope I can be in a better mood tonight cause this sucks.


----------



## Tetragammon

I'm not sure what's going on with me but I've been like dizzy and lightheaded all day. Probably not enough sleep again; last night was one of those nights when I dreaded going to bed even though I don't actually recall the nightmares I had the night before. Sigh...

EDIT: I took my temperature out of curiosity and it was 96.4 F. Isn't that like... low? I don't even know what that could mean. I've been freezing all day; is it possible to develop hypothermia in a house with the thermostat only set to 62 F while it's freezing outside???


----------



## Crisigv

I'm feeling good atm


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, aside from a stuffy nose.


----------



## alwaysrunning

My sleep's not been great lately. I went back to work today after a week off and just a bit stressed really; verbalising I can't do this, I can't do this. I just make it worse for myself really because it's all got to be done and got to be done to a standard. I know which staff come in, in which order and so getting those areas done first and getting out. Didn't manage it quite today and I am just doing that thing where you don't know exactly what they've said but you're laughing because they are laughing; I'm doing it so I don't have to talk and because I won't get finished on time if I talk.


----------



## Fever Dream

Winter hasn't even really started, and I'm already over it.


----------



## SunshineSam218

Right now I'm feeling okay, I just am dealing with a lot of cramps at the moment but hopefully they'll subside soon, haha!


----------



## Citrine79

Oh boy…things are about to go from bad to worse for me. My area is going to get snowed on…a lot. Let’s just say if the totals they are predicting come to fruition…we will get more snow in the next few days then most places get for the entire winter. I’ve got really bad Seasonal Affective Depression which has kicked in big time since the time change but this is going really set me back…not sure I can handle this right now. I’ve had meltdowns over much smaller storms in the past…and this one might be one of the worst ever.


----------



## caelle

I feel good! Good for me anyway. I got out of the house to go INSIDE of the post office during the DAYTIME and I went to pick up pizza. And I wasn't anxious at all. Not about driving, not about having to be around people during the day, and not about having to talk to the pizza people. My medication is definitely helping.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm surprised I didn't collapse on the floor and have a heart attack at work today. Good for me I guess.


----------



## M0rbid

Confused


----------



## Crisigv

Feeling so worthless and alone.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## alwaysrunning

Last week I booked to have a lesson with an instructor I met at the skatepark, it is today. I never had a one on one lesson with anyone. When I had lessons before it was with other beginners; less intense. When I have things like this I find myself just waiting; just waiting to go. Other people would be getting on with other things. I shall be pleased when it's over 😆 I hope my body co-operates today. When I saw him that day it was the worst skating I'd done ever.


----------



## Folded Edge

alwaysrunning said:


> Last week I booked to have a lesson with an instructor I met at the skatepark, it is today. I never had a one on one lesson with anyone. When I had lessons before it was with other beginners; less intense. When I have things like this I find myself just waiting; just waiting to go. Other people would be getting on with other things. I shall be pleased when it's over 😆 I hope my body co-operates today. When I saw him that day it was the worst skating I'd done ever.



Good luck. I hope it goes well and let us know how you get on. Stoked to hear you're still skating


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Hurt.

I heard that guy talking crap about me at work and not only that but over something very minor like a small mess that wasn't even dripping...mostly dry something I ended up fixing anyways at that. He's such a troll. I heard him say she should just let me help her bla bla bla. Help me? Ha. Like you would. What a joke you are. If I get you to help me, you'd either pile work on me or get mad that I asked for help.


----------



## alwaysrunning

Folded Edge said:


> Good luck. I hope it goes well and let us know how you get on. Stoked to hear you're still skating


Thanks 🙂 Made it out in one piece haha. It was good; worked on pumping, skating in the bowl and throwing the board down. He said he really liked the sound effects as when I'm not used to something I kinda squeel; it helps😆


----------



## Folded Edge

alwaysrunning said:


> Thanks 🙂 Made it out in one piece haha. It was good; worked on pumping, skating in the bowl and throwing the board down. He said he really liked the sound effects as when I'm not used to something I kinda squeel; it helps😆



Great stuff. You'll be dropping in on a vert ramp before you know it. 🥳


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Restless


----------



## CNikki

That I should probably just remain aloof (if not referring to some cursed terms directly) because there is no point in trying to be decent with people.


----------



## Crisigv

Very depressed


----------



## PurplePeopleEater




----------



## Canadian Brotha

Hungry…but the little food I have simply isn’t appealing


----------



## pillbugger

Mushy stuff. 

* *





I've been replaying a 22 second long, cute audio message that my Panamanian pen pal has sent me, nonstop. She wishes me well (she knows many things about me), and says my name, all while a soft, piano piece plays in the background. 😊 For the first time, I hear her voice and it is a very, very sweet sound. Soft, with a tiny bit of "morning/tired raspiness" (?) towards the end. I can't get enough of hearing it... there's like a tinge of snobbiness in it (especially with the piano). She likely sent me her voice because I teased her about her Spanish probably being a lot more eloquent compared to my ghetto, Spanglish speaking bum.

...So I guess she might now be expecting me to return the favor. Oof. Maybe I'll put some softish accordion music to lesson the blow... So yeah, I've been feeling things. ☺

Though I heard some heavy breathing in the background as she was talking, as if someone or something was sleeping beside her... she did mention having a large dog, along with her lovebird, and many cats. Her mother also has a mean parrot.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Discouraged


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Full


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Exhausted


----------



## Citrine79

Anxiety on the rise yet again.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sad. I'm tired of people making me feel like crap like I'm not deserving of good things.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not good. I had a coworker being nosy again. I don't like that guy at all. He looked like he was furious with me. :/


----------



## Crisigv

My body hurts so much right now


----------



## CNikki

Scared.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm having a very bad time. No hope


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Wow. I have been feeling increasingly jittery and just jumpy and nervous for days and I figured it couldn't hurt to take a Valerian (something I haven't done for a long time because it seems like it gives me headaches). I felt almost immediate calm. The only bad thing is that I seem to build a tolerance to it quickly. Which is why I still have half a bottle sitting around after all this time.


----------



## Starcut83

I had a long talk with a very wise man yesterday evening. It feels weird to say but I am no longer feeling suicidal. Still a little melancholy. Thinking about the last month of feeling that way as compared to now is a very strange sensation...it's like a totally different life...or person...or mind state.


----------



## hayes

Angry. I had one of the most traumatic experiences in my life yesterday. Haven't cried but the rage I'm feeling is strong. I just want to get away from these pieces of ****. I can never look at them the same. Absolute monsters.


----------



## Crisigv

Exhausted


----------



## CNikki

Tired and frankly annoyed. I ‘should be grateful’ that I’m even taken in by the services I’m getting*. But they’re highly disorganized and then they look at me as if I cause anything that goes wrong. I’ve been more than patient at this point. If it were just me being here I probably would have went off long beforehand.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

Sluggish


----------



## Starcut83

My doctor upped my medication and I took a backup med that helps mood...I'm really drowsy right now. It's not a bad thing though because I needed it and the drowsiness will pass by tomorrow...actually it's probably going to help me get a good nights sleep.


----------



## Crisigv

I'm so cold right now. I think I'll take a shower in the fires of hell, for an hour, lol.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Hungry. Time for some lunch.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel like I'm falling too far to ever recover from.


----------



## SunshineSam218

Right now I'm feeling content. The music I'm listening to right now is relaxing me.


----------



## alwaysrunning

I have a practice exam in 12 hours. Feeling resistance, like I am just going to show up to it but my heart is not in it. Kind of on a downer. After it is over tomorrow my mood will go up.

Not being replied to at work set off some things.


----------



## Ellis88

I'm feeling really anxious. It's linked with my bf. I found out buys viagra online. Found the link in his browser. I didn't mean to spy, it just happened and I don't know what to do now. Should I ask him about it? Could it be because of me?


----------



## Citrine79

Increased anxiety and nervous feeling. Working at the office in person for the first time in nearly three years. Not nervous about going in itself. I have to train someone and work with them and I am not good at that. Plus, I have a uh, rather unique way of doing things (basically my OCD kicking) and I think it will be tough to explain. Several days of bad weather coming which is also adding to my anxiety.


----------



## Crisigv

Lonely as usual


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Good, having some dinner now.


----------



## harrison

Slightly manic - a bit grandiose, irritable, disordered thinking. Had to do a bit of Christmas shopping - luckily I don't think I was too inappropriate.


----------



## floyd the barber

'impaired' but i feel this is all a cosmic joke. life is a joke but the punch line isn't even funny


----------



## Citrine79

Anxiety still high. Did not end up going into the office…boss contacted me at the last minute to say it was postponed. After thinking about it and getting myself prepared for it as best as I could…I can’t do it again…at least not now in the midst of this anxiety episode. Going to try and push it back as long as possible…have time off coming up so that is a good excuse. 

Struggling with seasonal affective depression due to the lack of daylight, this long stretch of cool, gray, gloomy days which are now about to turn into cold, snowy days. I don’t care much (never really have) for the holidays and everything assoicated with them and find it get tougher to deal with it all especially when people around me are so into it.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Lol


----------



## Starcut83

Exhausted, my heart is in pain (emotional pain), but I feel like I'm healing, my attitude is back to being reasonably positive and not in a upwardly manic way. Mentally okay but emotionally in "some" pain...


----------



## Crisigv

Uncomfortable. I hate this place. Honestly, I should experiment with people. I should get in shape and see if people actually treat me better.


----------



## Citrine79

I’m having an anxiety attack right now. Not surprising as my anxiety has been high these last few days. Right now it is off the charts and I’m alone, the weather conditions are terrible (snow is a huge trigger for me) and I can’t reach my therapist. Trying hard to distract myself but can only do it for so long. I think when there is other people in the house, which should be soon, I will be able to calm down at least a bit.


----------



## floyd the barber

actually feeling "free", leaving everything in the past. I feel great about my music, finally uploaded a track and people seem to like it.


----------



## Crisigv

Alone


----------



## Citrine79

Second anxiety attack of the day…and this one is worse. I am melting down and I’ve got no one to talk to or no support. Yes, the main reason for the attack is related to someting I have no control over and think about way more than I should. But it kind of relates to my numerous other anxiety/trust issues but my family members just don’t understand and tell me to “get over it” and are increasingly becoming less than sympathetic…almost hostile.

I have completely lost control on this one issue which I am obsessing over tonight and I don’t know what to do. Not only am I struggling with the issue itself….I am also struggling with why I can’t stop thinking about the issue especially since it is something I literally have zero control over.


----------



## amb97677

Tired and lonely


----------



## Citrine79

Still feeling the after effects of my anxiety attack from the other day. Able to semi-function at 
least but still not feeling good. That thing I am obsessing about is going to be real bad again soon…even worse than the other day. Already worrying about it.


----------



## harrison

Fairly settled for a change. I need to be for Christmas to get things done. 

Raised my medication to at least a therapeutic dose for mania. I need to be reasonable - and appropriate.


----------



## pillbugger

Who sends their letter at 4 AM in the morning... apparently my Panamanian penfriend does for whatever reason. My world lights up whenever I get a notification from her, otherwise I feel depressed. Very depressed. ...That's not good at all.



pillbugger said:


> Mushy stuff.
> 
> * *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I've been replaying a 22 second long, cute audio message that my Panamanian pen pal has sent me, nonstop. She wishes me well (she knows many things about me), and says my name, all while a soft, piano piece plays in the background. 😊 For the first time, I hear her voice and it is a very, very sweet sound. Soft, with a tiny bit of "morning/tired raspiness" (?) towards the end. I can't get enough of hearing it... there's like a tinge of snobbiness in it (especially with the piano). She likely sent me her voice because I teased her about her Spanish probably being a lot more eloquent compared to my ghetto, Spanglish speaking bum.
> 
> ...So I guess she might now be expecting me to return the favor. Oof. Maybe I'll put some softish accordion music to lesson the blow... So yeah, I've been feeling things. ☺
> 
> Though I heard some heavy breathing in the background as she was talking, as if someone or something was sleeping beside her... she did mention having a large dog, along with her lovebird, and many cats. Her mother also has a mean parrot.


I had to go and show my insecure and pathetic side at last. It is like my selective mutism came back from the dead. I just can't bring myself to say something for her... I have the script and the phone out ready to record but something stops me. In my defense, the bad quality from my phone's microphone doesn't help either. I think first impressions matter a lot.

Okay, I have another, slightly better phone that has better audio quality. I can probably record myself with it and send her the audio through another site. I need to stop with my excuses... I'm probably making her feel bad, as if I am some sort of feral cat that won't warm up to her. I'm terrible at this close friendship thing...

I'm going to have to change my original script into a Christmas card. I'm going to have to force myself to show emotion, and express my appreciation for her companionship by mouth... I can do it.


----------



## Citrine79

As usual, the hysterics as the storm approaches are getting worse. It is now being called a “once in a generation” storm and very likely to be a full on, prolonged blizzard. I am highly anxious already and it has yet to begin. Going to talk with my therapist and I think that might help. I also have certain episodes of a tv show I like that I watch over and over again and help to take my mind off of things.


----------



## alwaystooquiet

Angry


----------



## Crisigv

Hopeless


----------



## Citrine79

Melancholy.


----------



## harrison

All things considered I'm feeling pretty good. Feeling settled and actually very grateful for what I have - things could have been so much worse for me.


----------



## Tetragammon

Not sure what's up with me but I just CANNOT get warm today. It's like 25 degrees outside so not that cold. It's 63 in the house as usual. But I dunno; I've had two blankets on for like hours, plus slippers, but my feet are still freezing. 

I hope I'm not getting my mom's cold...


----------



## Socialmisfits

Anxious and useless as usual especially this time of the year


----------



## Humesday

discarded


----------



## Citrine79

Incredibly bleak.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm really cold. It's 21 degrees here and says it feels like 7. But earlier it was colder. It was 13 degrees and felt like -1. Moving around is a struggle. I could see the cold breath on my air...in my room. Lol 💀


----------



## Citrine79

Having another meltdown. Lost track of how many times in these last few days. PMS symptoms are extra bad because of my extreme anxiety. I don’t have anywhere to go and even if I did, I couldn’t anyway as it is impossible to travel right now. I don’t have any hobbies or anything to do other than social media and that is not a good place for me to be at this time. No one to talk to either as my family members just keep mocking and getting mad at me for my struggles. I am going to shut everything down and lay here in the dark and try my best to get my mind out of this constant negative thought pattern.


----------



## floyd the barber

i finally started talking in-game and I made a gaming buddy. cool


----------



## pillbugger

pillbugger said:


> Who sends their letter at 4 AM in the morning... apparently my Panamanian penfriend does for whatever reason. My world lights up whenever I get a notification from her, otherwise I feel depressed. Very depressed. ...That's not good at all.
> 
> 
> 
> I had to go and show my insecure and pathetic side at last. It is like my selective mutism came back from the dead. I just can't bring myself to say something for her... I have the script and the phone out ready to record but something stops me. In my defense, the bad quality from my phone's microphone doesn't help either. I think first impressions matter a lot.
> 
> Okay, I have another, slightly better phone that has better audio quality. I can probably record myself with it and send her the audio through another site. I need to stop with my excuses... I'm probably making her feel bad, as if I am some sort of feral cat that won't warm up to her. I'm terrible at this close friendship thing...
> 
> I'm going to have to change my original script into a Christmas card. I'm going to have to force myself to show emotion, and express my appreciation for her companionship by mouth... I can do it.


Yeah, that evil little free phone made me sound like a complete and utter dunce. Terrible microphone quality. With the other phone (that's ironically too old to download the app), I just sound like a dunce. Much better. I have sent her the letter with a link to hear my uploaded audio message. It took many tries, I have to admit.

It also seems like she has sent a letter to me. It probably will be a Christmas card type of thing as well 😇, since I have yet to reply to her last letter (spanish is hard).

- _Her letter was in fact a Christmas card, but she also remarked at the fact that we have exchanged letters for 3 months. She also attached a gift. A picture of her painting of a bird that she apparently made for me because of something I wrote to her: "Deberíamos ser como los pájaros que cantan afuera, sin importarnos en el mundo lo que los demás piensen de sus voces"

My message to her will be arriving in a couple of hours... I wonder what she'll think of my voice. 😬 Now I need to make sure I burn and destroy these scripts before I forget about them and my sisters or my mother find them._


----------



## Happyplace

I like someone in my Office. Don't know how that person feels about me. I want to get rid of this feeling. Already I got a lot of problems like this Anxiety and ADHD. Why would I have to like someone even though I am not in their class or background? It is really frustrating. Hope God helps me to get rid of this feeling


----------



## Citrine79

Still anxious and not feeling optimistic in any way but I am at least a bit calmer and more rational today. The blizzard has ended and we actually have some sunshine at the moment.


----------



## Socialmisfits

Stupid. I made a couple of posts at other places that have been met with ridicule. I wish I was more intelligent.


----------



## Citrine79

Citrine79 said:


> Still anxious and not feeling optimistic in any way but I am at least a bit calmer and more rational today. The blizzard has ended and we actually have some sunshine at the moment.


Well that didn’t last very long. I’m in hysterics yet again and getting worried I am going to have a full on breakdown at some point.


----------



## Starcut83

Citrine79 said:


> Well that didn’t last very long. I’m in hysterics yet again and getting worried I am going to have a full on breakdown at some point.


I hope you don't mind me saying, my therapist does this with me when I'm really worked up, if you can give yourself a minute or two and try to ground yourself a bit. 

-Wiggle your toes and feel your feet on the floor 
-Notice the pressure of your body on whatever surface your sitting on 
-Rub your hands together and feel the warmth, clench them into fists then release and shake it out a bit
-Notice your breath without trying to change it just let it be for a moment
-Gently listen to any sounds you can hear nearby or in the distance without getting caught up in analyzing them if you can
-Notice objects around you, their shapes, and their colors. 
-Now take a slow deep breath or two. 

It's not a miracle but maybe it can help.

....

I'm feeling okay at the moment. Trying to keep things mellow till Tuesday when I can get back into a bit of a routine again.


----------



## Crisigv

Excited. I finally got a Leafs jersey. Ready for the next hockey game.


----------



## Citrine79

Not good. Not good at all. I think a breakdown of some kind is imminent.


----------



## CNikki

Amused. I love it when relatives whom you haven’t seen/remember since a millennia start showing up and talking about supposed memories that were shared. Especially after a major life event that happens and they start coming out of the woodworks. 

“Who dis again?”


----------



## zonebox

I'm feeling drained, and have been for the past few days. I think it is just the chilly weather we have been having, it puts me in hibernation mode where I want to curl up and take a long nap. The sun setting so much earlier doesn't help, as it throws off my entire equilibrium and changes my work schedule so I have to wake up earlier if I want to make any money. I was so close to falling asleep earlier but was denied it just as I was fading away into a deep nap and now I am just feeling tired yet unable to sleep. So now, I am trying to figure out something that will keep me entertained until I actually do go to bed in a few hours.

I'll probably have a beer in a few hours, and pass out halfway while drinking it and playing a game 🙃


----------



## Fever Dream

zonebox said:


> I'm feeling drained, and have been for the past few days. I think it is just the chilly weather we have been having, it puts me in hibernation mode where I want to curl up and take a long nap. The sun setting so much earlier doesn't help, as it throws off my entire equilibrium and changes my work schedule so I have to wake up earlier if I want to make any money. I was so close to falling asleep earlier but was denied it just as I was fading away into a deep nap and now I am just feeling tired yet unable to sleep. So now, I am trying to figure out something that will keep me entertained until I actually do go to bed in a few hours.
> 
> I'll probably have a beer in a few hours, and pass out halfway while drinking it and playing a game 🙃


Just keep in mind that we are getting a little bit more daylight everyday (if you live in the northern hemisphere). Also, daylight savings time is not helping the situation.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Not the best. Seems like I'm by myself doing a bunch of stuff at work and also doing tedious work just like my other job. I might just end up getting that janitor job. Might have to use physical strength but I think pepple like me are better with that than doing tedious stuff. 

Plus, washing 150 dishes in less than an hour is a pain. It's manageable but if I'm doing tedious work on top of it, it's overwhelming and impossible. I'll just see how the next 2 weeks ago. It's only my sixth day. I wouldnt mind working by myself but not if I'm overloaded with work.


----------



## dinosaurparty

Empty but content


----------



## Crisigv

Not very good


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Full from dinner earlier, but good.


----------



## Citrine79

Doing a tiny bit better. Was able to function close to normal and get some work done these last two days. Also, will be able to talk with my therapist really soon and that will be helpful to me.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Refreshed after my hour nap earlier. Just going to enjoy my two days off and watch Netflix tonight. 

Then, it's back to work after tomorrow.


----------



## Crisigv

I feel weird


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Every time I think this headache is going away it comes back for another round.


----------



## Citrine79

Can’t sleep…anxious and really uncomfortable.


----------



## Humesday

When I'm working out 6-7 days a week, I'll sometimes get to the point that I'll just randomly start screaming like I'm about to go into battle when I'm on the way to the gym or on the way home. lol


----------



## Citrine79

Managed to get at least some sleep but still feeling anxious and uneasy. Have yet another thing to worry about on top of everything else.


----------



## Starcut83

My stress level is higher than usual today though I am not sure why. It was up when I went to bed last night and it's a little high this morning. I just can't pinpoint what's bothering me this much.


----------



## discopotato

I feel so awkward and out of place trying to blend into this small American town in the south as a European city gal lol


----------



## harrison

discopotato said:


> I feel so awkward and out of place trying to blend into this small American town in the south as a European city gal lol


That must be so strange - like something out of a movie.


----------



## discopotato

harrison said:


> That must be so strange - like something out of a movie.


Oh it is strange alright. In all the good ways


----------



## Crisigv

I don't feel good. I wish I could stay home today. There's nothing to celebrate.


----------



## Citrine79

I always seem to feel a sense of melacholy on New Years Eve...and this year is no different.


----------



## alwaystooquiet

I'm feeling sad because I had an argument with my friend this morning. I'm basically spending New Years by myself, working.


----------



## Citrine79

New year…..same old anxiety.


----------



## harrison

Slightly manic and still a bit of a migraine - weird.


----------



## Jenna

Feeling guilty that I was a little too quiet at a family gathering today. People were probably judging me.


----------



## Crisigv

Bad start to the year, and a bad headache all day.


----------



## Citrine79

Lackluster.


----------



## JH1983

Woke up with a terrible headache today. Took ibuprofen, naproxen, and aspirin hoping I can get it under control before I go to work tonight. Seems to be letting up a little.


----------



## Citrine79

Very tense at the moment. And anxiety is increasing yet again.


----------



## Tetragammon

Does anyone else here start feeling irritable when you have to listen to people talk a lot? Like even if they're not specifically talking to you?

I dunno, it seems weird, but my mom watches these resellers on Youtube all day who chat non-stop about the stuff they buy and their business, blah blah blah. And even though I do my best to just not listen to it because I'm not interested, after awhile I just get annoyed at all of the talking! And I think it upsets my mom because she thinks I'm annoyed at her or something.

I HAVE to drown it out with black metal or I'll just get so wound up and anxious over the course of several hours. I think it's part of why I REALLY don't like Discord either...


----------



## Crisigv

Home isn't a safe space. There's no where I have to be myself.


----------



## Citrine79

Not doing well today…physically or mentally. Got very little sleep and have zero motivation to do any of my work. Feeling extra sad and hopeless as well.


----------



## copper

Aggravated my right hip. Woke up with pain yesterday morning that was radiating to front of my lower abdomen. Still having issues but is getting better. Must of strain it shoveling off the deck.


----------



## Citrine79

Unmotivated and disinterested in my work which is not good considering I have lots to do and a tight deadline to complete it.


----------



## Crisigv

Now that I'm trying to take care of myself a bit, I feel so alone.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

A little stuffed up, but overall good


----------



## Citrine79

Still miserable 😩


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

I'm pissed almost as soon as i wake up this morning. The power going off for only 2 seconds last night must have made the water not work at all. It won't even come on. I need to brush my teeth, wash my hands and wash dishes but I have no ****ing water. So, I don't even have cold water, just no water period. It's neverending. I'm going to be in a bad mood at work today.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

PurplePeopleEater said:


> I'm pissed almost as soon as i wake up this morning. The power going off for only 2 seconds last night must have made the water not work at all. It won't even come on. I need to brush my teeth, wash my hands and wash dishes but I have no ****ing water. So, I don't even have cold water, just no water period. It's neverending. I'm going to be in a bad mood at work today.


 Do you know if you have a well? Just a guess but if it has a pump, maybe the pump isn't getting power. Maybe it needs to be reset or something. I don't know anything about it but if you know someone you can ask, maybe ask them if they can help.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

WillYouStopDave said:


> Do you know if you have a well? Just a guess but if it has a pump, maybe the pump isn't getting power. Maybe it needs to be reset or something. I don't know anything about it but if you know someone you can ask, maybe ask them if they can help.


Yea, we have a well here. I think that's why our water here is free. 

Turns out, it's working again and the hot water is, too. I had to ask for help with it cause I'm not experienced with this kind of thing.


----------



## Crisigv

Sore


----------



## Jenna

I feel like I'm wasting my life away at times.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Slightly annoyed I couldn't cash my paycheck from Panera Bread at Walmart. I guess it just closed. I don't even know why I got a physical paycheck instead of getting it sent to my bank account. It's a minor inconvenience. I'll just have to do it on my day off tomorrow.


----------



## PeanutButterOatBars

😐


----------



## CNikki

Anxious and I’m not even sure why.


----------



## WillYouStopDave

Like a complete moron


----------



## Fever Dream

WillYouStopDave said:


> Like a complete moron


I know the feeling. 🙁


----------



## Citrine79

I was fuming mad yesterday. Still upset about it today but at least a bit calmer today. Also, going to leave the house for awhile today. That always helps.


----------



## PeanutButterOatBars

Disappointed


----------



## Citrine79

Unsettled.


----------



## alwaystooquiet

Somehow okay.


----------



## Citrine79

Sad and frustrated.


----------



## PurplePeopleEater

Sad.

If I can't have my phone in my pocket at work, how else am I supposed to keep up with the time so I don't rush too quickly and so I'll know when to go on breaks and leave to go home? This is going to stress me out tremendously. There's not enough clocks in my work area and they don't always have the right time on them. One time it changed to military time, too.

Everyday is going to be a guessing game with the time for me. That's no way to work or live. The first few days of work, I didn't have my phone for the time and almost had a mental breakdown because of it. My wristwatch I took to work didn't seem to always work. It would stop on me then work again. So, yea. There's no way I can keep up with the time.


----------



## CNikki

Like crap. One of those days where nothing seems to be going right…


----------

