# Schizoid Personality Disorder



## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

Does anyone here fit the mold of a schizoid?

Not only am I socially anxious, but I also do not desire social relationships. I can handle recreational relationships, (i.e. only talking at school or work) but I don't deal well with emotional intimacy. I've ruined many relationships because I didn't have the will or ability to sustain them. The worst part? I don't even really feel bad when I hurt people. I've grown cold. I'm sick of being called a loner and a freak by everyone I reject. That's just how I am, and it's difficult to find anyone who understands.


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## IppikiOokami (Jun 8, 2010)

I've actually been looking into SPD for sometime now and I definitely fit the criteria. I can't pin-point the precise moment in my life when I stopped caring about relationships/socializing, but I'm not turning back. Generally speaking people are a pain in the *** and frankly not worth the effort. I hate getting close to anyone I meet, physically or emotional. I never have anything to say to anyone and I find listening to others quite tedious. When I'm completely alone I feel as if a weight has been lifted, nobody is there to judge me so I can be myself.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

i stopped caring about relationships a long time ago after ive been abandoned and stabbed in the back by far to many people.


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## Jcq126 (Jan 11, 2010)

I find sometimes people like us with SA can trick themselves into thinking they are Sociopaths, Schizoids etc as a defense mechanism to not have to face our anxiety or have anxiety by socializing, it's a good excuse to avoid people and pretend that is why you have it. I'm not saying that is the case, just an opinion of mine as I use to feel the same way (still kind of do, not sure if it's real or not).


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## reliefseeker (Jul 21, 2010)

For me, I haven't been talking to anyone other than my family for ages. I also abandoned countless friendships because of my inability to engage in conversations with them. 

And like someone else said, people are a pain in the ***, they're not worth effort talking to. 
For me, they're just a source of my paranoia, anxiety. It makes me sick...
Sometimes I wish they would stop bothering me, but still, I don't want to stay alone forever as well..I really hope to talk with them again, yet, for some reason I already lost the ability to connect with other people because of this disease. :no


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## uhmm doh (Feb 5, 2011)

Jcq126 said:


> I find sometimes people like us with SA can trick themselves into thinking they are Sociopaths, Schizoids etc as a defense mechanism to not have to face our anxiety or have anxiety by socializing, it's a good excuse to avoid people and pretend that is why you have it. I'm not saying that is the case, just an opinion of mine as I use to feel the same way (still kind of do, not sure if it's real or not).


yeah, that's exactly what i used to do in college! i used to pretend that I enjoy being by myself and never sought any help from the college counselor as a result. think i still do that to some extent...


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## IppikiOokami (Jun 8, 2010)

Jcq126 said:


> I find sometimes people like us with SA can trick themselves into thinking they are Sociopaths, Schizoids etc as a defense mechanism to not have to face our anxiety or have anxiety by socializing, it's a good excuse to avoid people and pretend that is why you have it. I'm not saying that is the case, just an opinion of mine as I use to feel the same way (still kind of do, not sure if it's real or not).


You make a good point, some people do claim those disorders as a means of avoiding social situations. But speaking for myself I know that I would never do that. I haven't been diagnosed with SA but I know I have it, I live with it everyday. The same can be said about my SPD, once I understood what it was it was so obvious.


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## Jcq126 (Jan 11, 2010)

A Schizoid desires no association with other people I believe, if that was the case why would a Schizoid be on a message board constantly conversing with others? Im not being a skeptic i'm curious.


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## Chivor (Mar 9, 2011)

laura024 said:


> Does anyone here fit the mold of a schizoid?
> 
> Not only am I socially anxious, but I also do not desire social relationships. I can handle recreational relationships, (i.e. only talking at school or work) but I don't deal well with emotional intimacy. I've ruined many relationships because I didn't have the will or ability to sustain them. The worst part? I don't even really feel bad when I hurt people. I've grown cold. I'm sick of being called a loner and a freak by everyone I reject. That's just how I am, and it's difficult to find anyone who understands.


May just be on the Autistic Spectrum like myself?


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## belfort (May 3, 2009)

jcq126-its not that schizoid has absolutely no desire to communicate with others, its just their need for relationships is much much less than a normal person..you will find case studies of schizoids that are married which first surprised me but i found that it isnt a typical marriage/relationship...schizoids can be in relationships.

i also have a hard time envisioning what a true schizoid is..going by the symptoms i fit many of them...does that mean im a schizoid, who knows??

im sure many different things could cause someone to become schizoid..social anxiety, depression, mistreatment by others, aspergers but my belief is a person is born schizoid...their lack of desire for relationships, sex and whatnot was there to begin with...it only worsens with time..


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## Antis (Nov 2, 2010)

I doubt a schizoid would have SA.... I might be wrong.


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## belfort (May 3, 2009)

^^^why would you doubt that??


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

Jcq126 said:


> I find sometimes people like us with SA can trick themselves into thinking they are Sociopaths, Schizoids etc as a defense mechanism to not have to face our anxiety or have anxiety by socializing, it's a good excuse to avoid people and pretend that is why you have it. I'm not saying that is the case, just an opinion of mine as I use to feel the same way (still kind of do, not sure if it's real or not).


It's surely possible for others, but it's not descriptive of me. My anxiety has improved markedly since worse days in high school. Now it's not a big concern to me. I know I could have an intimate social life. It's always been my motto not to let SA keep me from doing what I want. And I haven't. I just don't want friends.



Jcq126 said:


> A Schizoid desires no association with other people I believe, if that was the case why would a Schizoid be on a message board constantly conversing with others? Im not being a skeptic i'm curious.


It's easy to interact on a forum where no emotional commitment is required. It can be quite entertaining really. There are actually schizoid forums out there.



Chivor said:


> May just be on the Autistic Spectrum like myself?


Unlikely.


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## jingybopa (Jan 26, 2011)

Laura, based on your facebook wall, you do appear to have some "real" friends. My question for you is this: If you don't, as you maintain, wan't friends, why do you have friends? One thing I know from experience...it is very easy to arrange to have no friends.


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## LALoner (Dec 3, 2008)

laura024 said:


> Does anyone here fit the mold of a schizoid?
> 
> Not only am I socially anxious, but I also do not desire social relationships. I can handle recreational relationships, (i.e. only talking at school or work) but I don't deal well with emotional intimacy. I've ruined many relationships because I didn't have the will or ability to sustain them. The worst part? I don't even really feel bad when I hurt people. I've grown cold. I'm sick of being called a loner and a freak by everyone I reject. That's just how I am, and it's difficult to find anyone who understands.


I know almost nothing about you but you don't seem schizoid to me. But that doesn't really mean anything.


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## laura024 (Aug 11, 2006)

jingybopa said:


> Laura, based on your facebook wall, you do appear to have some "real" friends. My question for you is this: If you don't, as you maintain, wan't friends, why do you have friends? One thing I know from experience...it is very easy to arrange to have no friends.


They are all co-workers and one person from school. As previously stated, I can easily intermingle with people at work or school. However, it's the commitment of a real relationship I can't tolerate. Like if they were to ask to actually hang out more and be emotionally intimate, I'd run the other way. All we talk about is work and school if you read the content of the posts.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

I tend to doubt anyone on SAS is really Schizoid. After all, Schizoid is basically SA minus the anxiety part.

Someone who's Schizoid is a loner (looking much like SA in that way) but they don't care for relationships and they'd be mystified by why one would want such a thing.

It's similar to how I don't read books much, and NEVER read fiction at all. It's not because I have any fear of books. In fact, even a book store can't invoke fear in me. I don't read books because they simply fail to interest me. Similarly, someone who's Schizoid doesn't fear people, they just aren't interested.

It's argued that it doesn't deserve to even be called a mental disorder, seeing how those who "suffer" from it are not suffering at all. People with SA suffer great distress over their inability to form relationships and their loneliness. Someone who's Schizoid is perfectly satisfied with being a loner, just like I'd be fine if all the fiction in the world were to cease to exist.

The fact one posts to SAS would certainly tend to suggest they're not happy with the way things are and wish they were different. If not feeling distress, they'd have no reason to post. Just like I don't join a book club to complain about how I don't care to read books.


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## ivankaramazov (Aug 22, 2009)

I remember reading the description of a secret schizoid a while back and thinking it seemed dead on. When I am around people I put on one hell of a show, appearing all alpha-like and into socializing. And in many ways I get into it in the moment, but it feels more like I'm owning a game than actually connecting anyone. I suppose at the point where one molds human interaction into a game they can probably qualify for all kinds of psychosis, though.


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## Darkrian (Jun 14, 2010)

UltraShy said:


> I tend to doubt anyone on SAS is really Schizoid. After all, Schizoid is basically SA minus the anxiety part.
> 
> Someone who's Schizoid is a loner (looking much like SA in that way) but they don't care for relationships and they'd be mystified by why one would want such a thing.
> 
> ...


Very true.


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## Kaisa (Jul 21, 2007)

I've always thought I was somewhere on the schizoid/avoidant scale. I have a few friends, but I've known them since I was a teenager. They know how I am; they know I have limitations when it comes to closeness and that's fine with them. I'm close to one of my friends, meaning I can talk to him about things in a way I simply cannot with other people. But he's really the only person I'm close to.

I've had co-workers try to be friendly with me, try to get me to hang out with them, email with them. I just don't want to.Even when I genuinely like them, it's just too much pressure and, frankly, I get bored by it all. I just want to go home and unwind *alone*. Being reasonably friendly is fine when we're in our defined roles at work, but I don't want to deal with them outside of work. I don't like feeling trapped by friendship and having people expect certain things of me. It will only lead to anxiety on my part and disappointment on theirs when I inevitably fail to deliver.

Also, the definition of a schizoid in the DSM is a bit of a caricature. I've read a number of books about personality disorders/schizoid personalities and rarely are actual cases so black and white. As previously stated, being schizoid doesn't mean a complete lack of desire for any relationship, but a markedly lower desire/tolerance for such things. Also, it doesn't preclude anxiety. Schizoids tend to feel overwhelmed by people and relationships, which is where the anxiety comes in.


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## IppikiOokami (Jun 8, 2010)

Kaisa said:


> I've always thought I was somewhere on the schizoid/avoidant scale. I have a few friends, but I've known them since I was a teenager. They know how I am; they know I have limitations when it comes to closeness and that's fine with them. I'm close to one of my friends, meaning I can talk to him about things in a way I simply cannot with other people. But he's really the only person I'm close to.
> 
> I've had co-workers try to be friendly with me, try to get me to hang out with them, email with them. I just don't want to.Even when I genuinely like them, it's just too much pressure and, frankly, I get bored by it all. I just want to go home and unwind *alone*. Being reasonably friendly is fine when we're in our defined roles at work, but I don't want to deal with them outside of work. I don't like feeling trapped by friendship and having people expect certain things of me. It will only lead to anxiety on my part and disappointment on theirs when I inevitably fail to deliver.
> 
> *Also, the definition of a schizoid in the DSM is a bit of a caricature. I've read a number of books about personality disorders/schizoid personalities and rarely are actual cases so black and white. As previously stated, being schizoid doesn't mean a complete lack of desire for any relationship, but a markedly lower desire/tolerance for such things. Also, it doesn't preclude anxiety. Schizoids tend to feel overwhelmed by people and relationships, which is where the anxiety comes in*.


Thank you for posting this, you've put into words what I could not.


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

I always score quite high on some of those schizoid personality tests. But these 2 don't describe me:
has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences with another person
takes pleasure in few, if any, activities


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## Ramondo (Feb 16, 2011)

Kaisa said:


> Also, the definition of a schizoid in the DSM is a bit of a caricature. I've read a number of books about personality disorders/schizoid personalities and rarely are actual cases so black and white.


I've found this for all DSM diagnostic criteria. But even though they present the worst case, it's still sometimes difficult to decide between one and the other. 
Imagine how hard it would be if they changed:
"1. neither desires nor enjoys close relationships ... " to:
"1. mostly doesn't desire or enjoy close relationships, except for sometimes when they do" ... etc.

The same applies to me (OCPD). I'm not _excessively _rigid, I don't need to be right _all _the time, I'm perfectionistic in only some areas (eg. punctuation!)
I'm sure there would be very few people with pure 100% DSM descriptions.


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## Icthys (Nov 8, 2008)

I recently read a very interesting paper about "The Schizoid Process", that answers some of the questions here. It's a bit long but well worth reading.

http://4np.net/~sum1/psyforum/schizoid-process.pdf


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## belfort (May 3, 2009)

great post Kaisa...couldnt have said it better myself..if you read the wiki on schizoids, its hard to believe a person like that would actually exist...a person that has no desire for relationships, no desire for sex with another person, doesnt enjoy much of anything, very low motivation but they dont see anything wrong themselves so they dont seek treatment...wtf??that doesnt even make sense to me..

like kaisa said, i fit many criteria for schizoid and avoidant...i also have bits of SA but i have also realized that when i am completely anxiety free, i still very very little desire to be around others..there is a small part of that wants relationship but i also realize that true relationships require alot of socializing and 'just being there'..those are things im simply not able to give for the most part so i dont get involved in them..

its also quite possible that a schizoid could develop social anxiety as a result of being schizoid..they could view themselves as being strange or extreme loners and that itself could lead them to having anxiety in the presence of others..it could also work the other way around, that social anxiety and introversion at a young age could turn a person into a schizoid as they get older...

in many cases you cant just put a single label on someone and have it fit them perfectly..


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

belfort said:


> .i also have bits of SA but i have also realized that when i am completely anxiety free, i still very very little desire to be around others..there is a small part of that wants relationship but i also realize that true relationships require alot of socializing and 'just being there'..those are things im simply not able to give for the most part so i dont get involved in them..


Do you think extreme introverts can be like this? What if one needs people just to be around for certain activities (e.g. sex, travel, occassional hanging out, humour) but they have little desire beyond that because relationships seem too overwhelming or tiring or get boring after a while. How can one differentiate between extreme introversion and milder schizoid?


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## belfort (May 3, 2009)

^^i think schizoid basically is extreme introversion..introverts seem to need alone time but schizoids take it a few levels further..hence extreme introversion..i need people to such a small degree that its almost difficult to even get that anymore due to the fact that i will avoid them the rest of the time..lol..no one understands how i behave or live but i do..

oh and yes i see a normal relationship(man/woman) as being simply impossible for me and unattainable..i dont understand how others do it..ill also admit that there are times where i do think my behavior is broken or disordered but other times where i see myself as having the advantage in not needing close ties..


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## belfort (May 3, 2009)

www.schizoids.info/why.html

schizoids and social interaction, why they/we cant have normal relationships...

BECAUSE we lack the ability to form attachments and establish ties
OTHERS establish emotional ties, we do not

BECAUSE they are driven by their emotions, we are not
THEIR emotional world is foreign to us

BECAUSE we find no pleasure in social contact.They, however, find social contact pleasurable
BECAUSE we withdraw from them.Their inane conversation does not interest us.we become bored and move away.As a result, they move away from us.When it comes to fun and chatting, we are not good partners.

^^^^this basically sums me up perfectly...i CAN be fun and chatty but its an act, a mask i put on..i dont genuinely enjoy it but in this life one must be social sometimes to appear somewhat normal.


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## Kon (Oct 21, 2010)

Interesting. So with extreme introversion, HSP and AS/ASD it's as if the social emotion centre is too active and the person becomes overwhelmed and needs to escape in order not to be emotionally exhausted/tired. 

With schizoid, it's as if the social emotion centre is very weak or non-existent.


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

Labels hurt my head.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Kon said:


> Interesting. So with extreme introversion, HSP and AS/ASD it's as if the social emotion centre is too active and the person becomes overwhelmed and needs to escape in order not to be emotionally exhausted/tired.
> 
> With schizoid, it's as if the social emotion centre is very weak or non-existent.


If you read this paper by Wing, you'll see she describes how AS can be regarded as a form of schizoid personality. Scroll to the subheading Schizoid Personality, and also the heading on Classification. Although it's not up-to-date, it's a good point from which to begin exploring this subject.


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## milo001 (Nov 26, 2008)

I rather be a schizoid than be a social phobic.Although i'm okay with not having a relationships now and always staying at home.But i still wish i can be like a normal person with a bf and friends to hang out with and i can work like normal peoples.But because of SA all this seems so diffucult for me.If i'm a schizoid i'm sure i'll not think of all these.I'll be happy to be alone.


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