# MDMA seemed to make me a bit happier...



## No Limit (Dec 6, 2005)

So I went to a concert yesterday (2 trip-hop artists) and ate an E pill for the first time. When it started to kick in, I felt like hugging the music and had a smile on my face. I basically became lost in the music, but I really did feel a bit happier with myself and this is at a concert with many people and very little personal space. I thought I was going to have anxiety before I took it. Even now, the day after I just feel a bit better about myself. I know it was used in the past for therapy sessions, but has there been any recent case studies that point to occasional ecstasy use for anxiety?

And I thought SSRIs actually cancels out most of the effects of E? Probably would've hit me harder if I wasn't on Celexa.


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## disarmonia mundi (Jan 12, 2010)

A little BIT happier?.... that must have been one weak pill.

MDMA not only obliterates inhibition and anxiety, it actually makes you WANT to seek out and interact with people and you derive PLEASURE from it not anxiety/distress/avoidance.

It has tremendous medicinal value, but only can and should be taken on occasion (e.g. for a kick in the right direction in the right situations, to get the ball rolling). You don't want to combine it with SSRI's, either. Look up serotonin syndrome.


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## LALoner (Dec 3, 2008)

Would taking daily and very small doses of MDMA cure social anxiety?


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## disarmonia mundi (Jan 12, 2010)

LALoner said:


> Would taking daily and very small doses of MDMA cure social anxiety?


MDMA is a dopamine and serotonin releaser, it makes your brain dump these neurotransmitters in large amounts. SSRI's like Prozac etc etc. are serotonin reuptake-inhibitors which as the name suggests inhibits the reuptake of the neurotransmitter serotonin (holds onto the serotonin that is produced naturally, not tricked into releasing it like MDMA does), so basically it's supposed to have the same effect--increased levels of serotonin.

MDMA in very small doses wouldn't be that noticably different than SSRI's would it? To get profound effects you'd have to take doses of MDMA that will burn you out (deplete neurotransmitter reserves?) if you take them daily.

I don't know much about pharmacology so don't take my word as gospel, somebody who does can correct me if and where needed. Am I on the right track?

Whatever, my "social anxiety" or whatever is so very wrong with me, is cured by dopamine and serotonin, much more so than alcohol/benzos which feel like they only mask my (severe) problem.


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## No Limit (Dec 6, 2005)

Not sure if it was a weak pill. As I mentioned, I'm taking an SSRI so that probably took away from its full potential. Other people have told me this pills are good. Regardless it's a state of mind that was awesome.


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## disarmonia mundi (Jan 12, 2010)

Hard to say if a pill is strong or weak when all you got is other pills to compare to, and no idea what exactly is in them. If you can get pure MDMA ("molly", powder/small crystals) that would be better.



> Other people have told me this pills are good.


LOL was it a dealer?  Nah, fair enough, but like I said it depends what they've had to compare to.

A "profound experience/perspective" dose of MDMA will have you feeling like a ragdoll and your eyes will have a flickering effect that makes your vision blur in a distinct way. :b

The situation you take it in will dictate what kind of experience you'll have.


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## jimmythekid (Apr 26, 2010)

Be careful. I took ecstasy once a month for a year or so and I feel that it has really impaired my memory. I'm not sure I'm even smart enough to go to university anymore.
Also, the fact that you didn't have symptoms of a psychiatric problem while you are high does not mean that the drug is therapeutic.
My depression went away when I smoked meth but came back worse than ever when I stopped.
MDMA is similar. In the long-run it seems to cause or further exacerbate depression and anxiety. 
By forcing your brain to release large amounts of these "happy chemicals" like serotonin or dopamine there is a lack of them as an immediate after-effect and in the long run the brain will produce less of these chemicals (down-regulation, this is called).

the solution is unlikely to be pharmacological, in my humble opinion, let alone cured with street drugs (i wish!)


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## crayzyMed (Nov 2, 2006)

disarmonia mundi said:


> A little BIT happier?.... that must have been one weak pill.


He's taking celexa, it makes sense.

As for the therapeutic potential of MDMA, ive allways used it to pull me out of depressive episodes, no matter how bad they are, it does the trick, offcourse with abuse it can also induce depression, it also changed me in a permanent way and i grew a ton of confidence because of it.

However this doesnt work for everyone, i beleive a certain subgroup of ppl with social anxiety can benefit from it, while it can make others feel worse in the long run, avoiding poly drug use minimizes the risk as thats mostly associated with long term emotional problems rather then MDMA use itself (altough some ppl can be sensitive to that).

With all my experience regarding street drugs i only found MDMA to have therapeutic value wich can of benefit in the long run.


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## Takerofsouls (Oct 20, 2010)

I tried taking ecstasy daily for a week and a half and it did help a bit, but when the supply ran out and i couldnt get more it was the worst few days of my life. Unless its in a capsle in crystallized form its rare for it to be just mdma, do a google search on whatever kind it was for example (blue dolphins, if they were blue and had a dolphin on it) and find a lab test, its not perfect but it can give you some idea of what you took.
Taking ecstasy with SSRIs can be dangerous, it can cause serotonin syndrome.


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## Duke of Prunes (Jul 20, 2009)

Searching for the pill description isn't accurate, because once good pills are "known", everyone starts copying them. If you insist on choosing pills that way, invest in a testing kit too. It's not as accurate as GC/MS, but it's better than nothing. Buy pills known to be good recently in your area and test a bit of one before taking them.

Or alternatively you could just find some crystal (which is harder to cut/fake, seeing as MDMA looks quite different to the common cuts) and see if you can test a tiny bit before buying.

Testing kits are cheap and everybody should have one if they plan on taking pills/MDMA/MDA and don't have access to a lab.


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## No Limit (Dec 6, 2005)

disarmonia mundi said:


> LOL was it a dealer?  Nah, fair enough, but like I said it depends what they've had to compare to.
> 
> A "profound experience/perspective" dose of MDMA will have you feeling like a ragdoll and your eyes will have a flickering effect that makes your vision blur in a distinct way. :b
> 
> The situation you take it in will dictate what kind of experience you'll have.


 Nope. I bought E for other people (friends) from the same connect. And they've taken E a lot more than I have. I was at a concert so I can say I was lost in the music. It was nice.


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## peaceandlove09 (Aug 10, 2010)

LALoner said:


> Would taking daily and very small doses of MDMA cure social anxiety?


F**k no.

MDMA has to be spaced out. It does mess up your neurochemistry if taken too much. And unless you get pure MDMA, it is cut with different sh*t like speed.

It is NOT a cure for social anxiety (unless you consider a cure to be a few hours of freedom, for a week of pain... and the more you take it the worse the comedowns.)

I believe I am clinically depressed now because of my year of MDMA use 7 years ago. Since that time, I haven't been the same person. I have had this "cloud" of depression follow me around which I didn't even realize until this past year.


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## crayzyMed (Nov 2, 2006)

LALoner said:


> Would taking daily and very small doses of MDMA cure social anxiety?


Definatly not, you cant take MDMA daily or your headed for a disaster, i personally use MDMA to kick me out of depressive episodes, no matter how severe they are mdma ALLWAYS kicks me back out for a long term basis, i dont know why it does that for me, but in some individuals it can do the opposite as eric above here.


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## peaceandlove09 (Aug 10, 2010)

disarmonia mundi said:


> MDMA in very small doses wouldn't be that noticably different than SSRI's would it? To get profound effects you'd have to take doses of MDMA that will burn you out (deplete neurotransmitter reserves?) if you take them daily.
> 
> I don't know much about pharmacology so don't take my word as gospel, somebody who does can correct me if and where needed. Am I on the right track?


On average, an MDMA pill lasts about 3-4 hours. So it's not feasible to take it everyday. Even if you took a few pills a day, you would build tolerance to it. MDMA builds very rapid tolerance. Even if you roll 2-3 days in a row, you will notice on the 3rd day it doesn't hit you as hard. This is because your seratonin stores are depleted, and need to replenish themselves.

Most MDMA users take 5HTP before and after to boost their seratonin. But even doing this, you normally should wait at least a few weeks before taking MDMA again.

If you start doing it weekly, you will not only build tolerance and need to take more, you will also start to have harsher "comedowns" where you feel very depressed.

MDMA is very psychologically addictive. When I used to take it (about 7-8 years back) it wasn't physically addictive but I would plan my life around my next MDMA experience because it was so amazing, nothing else in life really mattered. So my hobbies and passions became my next "MDMA" experience.

And i started to need to take more than 1 pill to feel the effects... 2... 3... one night i think i took 4 pills. That was probably my max, and the comedown was so brutal that i basically couldn't even leave my house for a week. I just felt so sh*tty.

But anyway, my point is, this isn't a cure for social anxiety. It's a bandaid that works temporarily, but you will chase that high until it destroys you.

Just my own personal experience.

I would LOVE to do MDMA again (because it does feel good) but i know the moment I pop that first pill, I will be back down a road that i've already been down, and a road that i dont want to travel down again.

Cheers,


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## peaceandlove09 (Aug 10, 2010)

jimmythekid said:


> By forcing your brain to release large amounts of these "happy chemicals" like serotonin or dopamine there is a lack of them as an immediate after-effect and in the long run the brain will produce less of these chemicals (down-regulation, this is called).


Yeah i believe this to be true, from my own personal experience.


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## peaceandlove09 (Aug 10, 2010)

This forum seems to have a lot of posts about illict drugs :blank

Not that i'm judging, but i don't think these drugs are a longterm cure for any sort of social anxiety. 

These are short term cures with a lot of consequences. I speak from personal experience when I say I wish i had never gone down the illict drug road, and in my opinion, it's a bit of pleasure, for a lot of pain. 


Cheers,


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## No Limit (Dec 6, 2005)

I honestly see myself getting more addicted to oxycodone. It doesnt make me any happier but I'm really relaxed. I just haven't felt super good and happy as when I was rolling. Quite an experience for me. And on top of that, I love music and use it to cope. Doing it at that concert only helped the effect.


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## housebunny (Oct 22, 2010)

I had a lot of empathy on E whereas I normally feel sort of on a "collision course" with others. But on E I cared very much about other people and I thought they were so cute and I wanted them to all have what they needed to be happy. I looked it up, and I think it had to do wtih oxytocin.


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## Takerofsouls (Oct 20, 2010)

No Limit said:


> I honestly see myself getting more addicted to oxycodone. It doesnt make me any happier but I'm really relaxed. I just haven't felt super good and happy as when I was rolling. Quite an experience for me. And on top of that, I love music and use it to cope. Doing it at that concert only helped the effect.


 Exactly how i am, first time i smoked oxy was at a concert and it was incredible. If i had the money i would definately be addicted, but unfortunately i dont.


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## No Limit (Dec 6, 2005)

Smarties said:


> Exactly how i am, first time i smoked oxy was at a concert and it was incredible. If i had the money i would definately be addicted, but unfortunately i dont.


 I'm just curious. How did you smoke oxy? I just took the pill and then smoked some weed. Very relaxing. Too relaxed to worry about things.


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## Duke of Prunes (Jul 20, 2009)

Smoking pills is horrible for your lungs.


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## Takerofsouls (Oct 20, 2010)

No Limit said:


> I'm just curious. How did you smoke oxy? I just took the pill and then smoked some weed. Very relaxing. Too relaxed to worry about things.


 You put it on some tinfoil, hold a lighter under the foil and use a straw to suck up the smoke. Its a different high its a very very strong euphoria, but doesnt last as long as just taking it. Plus its VERY bad for your lungs, i like snorting better. It does feel amazing though.


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## ZeroG64 (Oct 14, 2010)

Eric69 said:


> F**k no.
> 
> MDMA has to be spaced out. It does mess up your neurochemistry if taken too much. And unless you get pure MDMA, it is cut with different sh*t like speed.
> 
> ...


LOL absolutely :yes

Sorry, I had to laugh at the suggestion of using MDMA daily, you'd have no serotonin left! you'd be an absolute wreck. It's useful but as said above, it needs to be spaced out. Taking it recreationally once a month at most would be ok I guess.

An SSRI would most definitely dull the effects of MDMA, but pills these day in my experience are generally weak, but then you can never _really_ tell and tbh it may not have even been MDMA that was in it. SO many analogues and other variants going about.

It's better to take pure MDMA if you can get hold of it, generally (tho not always) pills are dirty and cut with some nasty crap, speed, meth, BZP, all sorts which won't be of any benefit to you at all.


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

Eric69 said:


> On average, an MDMA pill lasts about 3-4 hours. So it's not feasible to take it everyday. Even if you took a few pills a day, you would build tolerance to it. MDMA builds very rapid tolerance. Even if you roll 2-3 days in a row, you will notice on the 3rd day it doesn't hit you as hard. This is because your seratonin stores are depleted, and need to replenish themselves.
> 
> Most MDMA users take 5HTP before and after to boost their seratonin. But even doing this, you normally should wait at least a few weeks before taking MDMA again.
> 
> ...


Dude, reading from your posts, you are telling yourself its the cause of your depression. Its been 7-8 years since you last rolled. Any temporary damage you had would've faded long ago. I'm saying this for your sake, believing that drugs have damaged you is no way to live. There is a perposterous amount of bull**** people believe that are simply not true. And I don't think you were ever that deep into it as you think you were. Also next time, get some of those crystals, don't mess with pills. You'll notice a huge difference.


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## peaceandlove09 (Aug 10, 2010)

Brightpaperwarewolf said:


> Dude, reading from your posts, you are telling yourself its the cause of your depression. Its been 7-8 years since you last rolled. Any temporary damage you had would've faded long ago. I'm saying this for your sake, believing that drugs have damaged you is no way to live. There is a perposterous amount of bull**** people believe that are simply not true. And I don't think you were ever that deep into it as you think you were. Also next time, get some of those crystals, don't mess with pills. You'll notice a huge difference.


It's not preposterous and i'm not telling myself. I sat down a month ago and wrote down the "depressive" episodes i've had. The major depressive episodes anyway. They all started AFTER my MDMA use. I did MDMA for a year or two. I did about i dunno.... 30-40 pills total? +/- 10 .... i didn't really keep track too well.

The first time i ever considered suicide was about a year after stopping MDMA. Now that i look back, it doesn't make sense. Why would I want to kill myself back then? My life was good. I have had about 3-4 times where I have had "suicide idealization" when my life has been perfectly fine.

Again, this is after my MDMA use.

I still didn't equate this to depression. But this past year, I had a major meltdown. And just recently, I sat down and realized i have had a "cloud" of depression for a long time. At least a few years. Even though I exercise, eat well, have friends and a gf, had a good job and life.

There is no history of depression like this in my family, and if it was situational depression it wouldn't last like it has for me.

MAYBE mdma didn't cause it. But the clues point to my year of drug use.

Also, some of the pills i took were cut with different sh*t. Sometimes mdma experiences didn't feel like mdma at all. Sometimes pills felt "speedy" so it was probably speed or meth.

You might be trying to preserve your fragile reality of "drugs aren't bad and don't have longterm effects" but from my own personal experience, they do.

They aren't sure if damage from MDMA repairs itself or not. Some studies believe receptors grow back, but they are less sensitive or something. Some studies aren't sure at all.

In my case, i feel my year of drug use changed my neurochemistry.

I wish I had bought a drug testing kit back in the day and tested my pills. But of course when you are young, you don't think about "longterm effects"

Cheers,


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## crayzyMed (Nov 2, 2006)

Eric, where you a poly drug user or did you ONLY use MDMA (cut pills doesnt really matter, i'm asking wheter you also used other drugs like weed, ketamine, amphetamine etc?).

One marker of neurotoxiticy completely recovers after abstinence, however in less neurotrophic regio's some damage can be semi permanent, still it seems that poly drug use rather then MDMA drug use has been associated with long term emotional problems, however that doesnt mean some individuals cant be sensitive, your MDMA use was very minimal wich makes me think you are pretty sensitive to the harm of those drugs.

In case of poly drug use, long term emotional problems have been observed, the damage with MDMA mainly manifests itself in cognitive decline, significant altough still within the normal range in MDMA abusers.


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

Eric69 said:


> It's not preposterous and i'm not telling myself. I sat down a month ago and wrote down the "depressive" episodes i've had. The major depressive episodes anyway. They all started AFTER my MDMA use. I did MDMA for a year or two. I did about i dunno.... 30-40 pills total? +/- 10 .... i didn't really keep track too well.
> 
> The first time i ever considered suicide was about a year after stopping MDMA. Now that i look back, it doesn't make sense. Why would I want to kill myself back then? My life was good. I have had about 3-4 times where I have had "suicide idealization" when my life has been perfectly fine.
> 
> ...


I don't doubt ecstacy had a profound effect on your neuro chemistry, but to blame ecstacy for breakdowns in life, its only shortchanging yourself of the real reasons. If drug damage truly lasted forever, I would be in a mental hospital somewhere. The amount of ecstasy you took in a lifetime I consumed in a month period. I wasn't close to an etard doing everyday either, at a point I liked to roll hard. And there are tons who were far deeper than I was.

Life experiences have an effect on the mind. Do you expect people who have what you have to be as well? Some are probably more depressed than you are and never touched mdma.we all had some type of breakdowns in life. I'm not underestimating the impact drugs can effect you, but I'm not overestimating them either. You may think its to preserve a fragile reality, but this were the case, I would be beyond repair. I'm only saying this so you can move on without regretting what your past has done to you today.


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