# what kind of girls go for shy guys



## SkateDVS96 (Sep 30, 2010)

just wondering because i just started community college and i see a lot of cute girls here , especially one in my guitar class. And i wanna talk to her but its hard :/ I hate SA


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## littlemisshy (Aug 10, 2010)

Shy girls


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## Selbbin (Aug 10, 2010)

littlemisshy said:


> Shy girls


And thus they'll never meet, and go home alone every night both wishing for each other...


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## Akane (Jan 2, 2008)

> Shy girls


:ditto

The ones who don't want guys that expect too much talking, partying, and outgoing activities because they don't like those things either. I went looking for a computer geek. :b


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## stranger25 (Apr 29, 2010)

In reality, none. We all need to break out of it and become extroverted.


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## littlemisshy (Aug 10, 2010)

I married a quiet guy!


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## SkateDVS96 (Sep 30, 2010)

true that, it would be hella easier to find one


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

And sometimes they do meet.I'm with a shy guy and we met at a concert so it's possible.Sometimes even shy people go out :b


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## stranger25 (Apr 29, 2010)

and who asked who?


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

stranger25 said:


> and who asked who?


Well,he was the one that approached me if that was what you were asking,but I was the one that took the next step or else I'm not so sure that we would have met again.We both have SA so it was hard to initiate any further contact.


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## stranger25 (Apr 29, 2010)

oh, would have been interesting if you were the one who approached instead


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

stranger25 said:


> oh, would have been interesting if you were the one who approached instead


Probably would,but I'm scared of talking to men and even more so if they are attractive.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

stranger25 said:


> In reality, none. We all need to break out of it and become extroverted.


How, just asking, is a sweeping assumption based generalisation "in reality"?

For what you've said to be true, one would have to assume that the only guys with girls are always extroverted 100% of the time. Now, given that is impossible to be anything 100%/all the time/forever etc, that's difficult to believe. Extrovert and Introvert are tired labels for behaviours. They do not sum up people.

However, there is something a little odd about the title of this thread. What kind of girls go for shy guys? So, the original poster has identified themselves as "shy". Then the original poster assumes that he is limited to looking for girls who will go for "shy" guys. None of this seems to take into account what the original poster is actually looking for in a girl. Who is right for the original poster?


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

joinmartin said:


> How, just asking, is a sweeping assumption based generalisation "in reality"?
> 
> For what you've said to be true, one would have to assume that the only guys with girls are always extroverted 100% of the time. Now, given that is impossible to be anything 100%/all the time/forever etc, that's difficult to believe. Extrovert and Introvert are tired labels for behaviours. They do not sum up people.
> 
> However, there is something a little odd about the title of this thread. What kind of girls go for shy guys? So, the original poster has identified themselves as "shy". Then the original poster assumes that he is limited to looking for girls who will go for "shy" guys. *None of this seems to take into account what the original poster is actually looking for in a girl. Who is right for the original poster?*


When you are someone who has been alone for a long time, especially if you have low self-esteem, what you usually end up looking for is anyone who will like you without you needing to change anything.

The title of this thread is a bit general. What kind of girls go for shy guys? 
If you asked a girl whether she likes "shy guys", she might say yes. 
But then you could introduce her to 2 "shy guys" who are different in every other way, and she'll like one "shy guy" more than the other "shy guy".
There is a lot more that goes into a personal attraction than whether a person is shy or outgoing. One girl could find herself attracted to each type, depending on the individual.
OP, you are not a "shy guy". You are you.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

the cheat said:


> When you are someone who has been alone for a long time, especially if you have low self-esteem, what you usually end up looking for is anyone who will like you without you needing to change anything.
> 
> The title of this thread is a bit general. What kind of girls go for shy guys?
> If you asked a girl whether she likes "shy guys", she might say yes.
> ...


Agree with this.


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## MindOverMood (Dec 12, 2009)

Selbbin said:


> And thus they'll never meet, and go home alone every night both wishing for each other...


:lol


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## ktbare (Sep 13, 2009)

I'm with a shy guy, I never have been before, its awesome. I'm also a shy girl though, unless under the influence.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

Various kinds of girls, I think.

My sister, who is very gregarious, is in a relationship with a guy who's quite shy. 

What kind of girl would you like to be in a relationship with? I'd urge you strongly against entering a relationship just because the gal didn't mind shy guys.


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## benyamin (May 11, 2010)

well being shy and quiet doesn't mean you will suck with girls 
a guy can be shy and quiet but he might be confident funny attractive with a great personalty and alot of girls will droll over him.


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## sarafinanickelbocker (May 16, 2010)

Uhm... girls that go for shy guys. There really isn't a specific personality type that you're going to find. Too many variables. They're out there though.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

me


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

stranger25 said:


> In reality, none. We all need to break out of it and become extroverted.


What is this reality you speak of based on? Your negative experiences with dating and women in general? I absolutely understand being bitter and depressed over lack of success but based on your age, having SA and your posts I've read, you seem to be basing this "reality" on an almost no evidence - if there is evidence it is certainly not enough to validate such a claim.

In reality? There are many girls who go for shy guys. Shy people might be more likely to seek out shy partners for various reasons but an outgoing person might fit even better with a shy person (I have seen quite a few couples where one is very outgoing and the other is more introverted).
And yes, anyone who is extremely shy will need to put effort in coming out of their shell at least little in order to date and get in/stay in a relationship. It's incredibly difficult for most of us but it can be done.

Also - I personally really don't believe people should be be classified into two groups and only two groups: shy/introverted and outgoing/extroverted. There are countless other qualities in a person (personality, demeanor, attitude, appearance, etc) that determine how attractive they are to others....


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## DyingInTheOutside (Sep 26, 2010)

Wow, I thought the world had an overpopulation problem as it is, think of how screwed we'd be if the shy guys were getting any???? :O


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## EmptyRoom (Jul 28, 2010)

Selbbin said:


> And thus they'll never meet, and go home alone every night both wishing for each other...


:sigh


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

SkateDVS96 said:


> just wondering because i just started community college and i see a lot of cute girls here , especially one in my guitar class. And i wanna talk to her but its hard :/ I hate SA


Ones with strong personalities that don't really care what others think about their boyfriend and might even like the fact they can dominate you socially.

Girls that are looking for a shoulder to cry on after maybe a few bad relationship experiences and the shy sensitive guy can often fit the bill, but these are usually seeing you only as a temporary measure.

Girls that are so desperate they will take anyone.


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## JayDontCareEh (Jul 16, 2007)

This thread isn't depressing at all. 

Nope.


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

The girl who was kind enough to get me into her lab is one of these rare girls. She approached her current boyfriend at some medical school get together thing, and she knew that he wasn't going to ask her out, and so she made the first move. Even though I've only had half a convo with him, I can tell he's a great guy. During a presentation she was doing on her research, he came to support her, and I loved watching the outrage on his face when a professor questioned something she was presenting. He's as loyal as a puppy . Lucky him for him finding her.


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## Prakas (Aug 26, 2009)

Invisible_girl said:


> And sometimes they do meet.I'm with a shy guy and we met at a concert so it's possible.Sometimes even shy people go out :b


Very true! We have a tendency to slip out of the house occasionally.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Shyness is temporary depending on what you take from it and how you manage it. So yeah, it's normal and far different from not respecting yourself.


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## april showers (Jun 27, 2009)

It really depends. I know shy girls who like shy guys because they can relate to them, but there are also some really outgoing girls who like shy, quite guys because it balances them out and they get along better that way.


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## Nekromantix (Oct 3, 2010)

2 rules.

Make sure the girls are old enough.

Make sure they have a heartbeat.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Nekromantix said:


> 2 rules.
> 
> Make sure the girls are old enough.
> 
> Make sure they have a heartbeat.


Given your name I wouldn't have thought you would mind if they didn't have a heartbeat!

(cus nekro is similar to necro etc, yeah yeah whatever, shush you guys).


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## sacred (May 25, 2009)

liberal mamas and emo ponies. thats it. if you are a shy male and you want something else all you can do is hold off and make overcoming your shyness around the hot women your top priority. or you can just settle.


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## Cyber Lume (Sep 19, 2010)

> Girls that are so desperate they will take anyone.


As a girl that has held off from dating because I haven't found anyone I'm interested in yet... I give this comment a big *NO*. I also say this on behalf of all the girls I know that have enough self-respect to not cling to whoever looks at them with interest. On the flip side, I have seen an alarming number of the girls you speak of.


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## rumjungle (Feb 13, 2009)

Ospi said:


> Given your name I wouldn't have thought you would mind if they didn't have a heartbeat!
> 
> (cus nekro is similar to necro etc, yeah yeah whatever, shush you guys).


Ospi get back to making car parts for bogans.


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

Maybe girls who had shy fathers, like me.


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## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

less than 1%.


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## amene (Mar 28, 2010)

I would..


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

Nekromantix said:


> 2 rules.
> 
> Make sure the girls are old enough.
> 
> Make sure they have a heartbeat.


Aww come on, live a little.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

the cheat said:


> When you are someone who has been alone for a long time, especially if you have low self-esteem, what you usually end up looking for is anyone who will like you without you needing to change anything.
> 
> The title of this thread is a bit general. What kind of girls go for shy guys?
> If you asked a girl whether she likes "shy guys", she might say yes.
> ...


+1. I also agree with that.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

*hmm*



andy0128 said:


> Ones with strong personalities that don't really care what others think about their boyfriend and might even like the fact they can dominate you socially.
> 
> Girls that are looking for a shoulder to cry on after maybe a few bad relationship experiences and the shy sensitive guy can often fit the bill, but these are usually seeing you only as a temporary measure.
> 
> Girls that are so desperate they will take anyone.


Pure and blessed guesswork based on a negative belief system. Since when was a shy/or sensitive guy (people are far more fluid than such tired labels could ever describe but people do love talking in labels and stereotypes here so there you go) be automatically weak/used by the woman/thought of badly by thr girl's friends....

And what's the stuff about desperate girls? Is that another belief system prompted guess?

I say all that with the greatest of respect to you and your point of view. But, given that this thread was getting depressing, I felt the need to point out the difference between negative belief systems and anything resembling the real world.

As a self hater, I've attacked myself long enough over the years to know that, quite often, there's no actual need or reason to look down on myself or to be down on myself and people don't think or believe the things I think they believe or think about me. I interpret their actions and their meanings wrong, I make guesses about their intentions and beliefs. We all do it.

As someone has already said, attraction is a multi facted thing. A relative, subjective and varied thing which is not limited to whatever shy behaviours you might be doing. Sensitivity is not a weakness. It's one of the most powerful things a person can have.


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

joinmartin said:


> Pure and blessed guesswork based on a negative belief system.


Actually opinions formulated from my own experiences and observations over the years. If there is any guessing going on here, then arguably you if anyone are the major culprit, as you're making baseless assumptions that a) i'm pulling my point of view out of thin air rather than real life experiences and b) i'm a negative person, so get down off your high horse for a minute.

[QUOTE ]Since when was a shy/or sensitive guy (people are far more fluid than such tired labels could ever describe but people do love talking in labels and stereotypes here so there you go) be automatically weak/used by the woman/thought of badly by thr girl's friends.... [/QUOTE]

I'm not stereotyping, I'm just making a general point and i don't really have the urge or the time to write pages every time i reply to a topic to cover every detail.

[QUOTE ]And what's the stuff about desperate girls? Is that another belief system prompted guess? [/QUOTE]

No not really. I've been desperate in the past and i'm not afraid to admit it. It's not meant to be derogatory, but if people want to regard it as such then that's up to them.


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