# i wish i could bypass my 20's



## John_K (Aug 21, 2004)

i'm 25 and have been single my entire life. even though i think i have some essential traits for being in a long-term relationship (responsible, loyal) i'm basically a boring guy. i don't talk much and i rarely say much or show emotion when i do. although i can be very emotional sometimes, i guess i've gotten too good at hiding how i feel (something i learned from my dad).

i know these things (in addition to being average looking and having asian genes that make me look 5 years younger than i am) are what's holding me back from being taken seriously by women my age. at the same time, i know guys who are like me but 5-10 years older who found someone and got married. they were single until their 30's, when they got a few years into their careers and began earning a decent income. all the sudden they became husband-material, because some of their boring traits were now positives and they had the means to support a family.

as for me, i just finished school last year and started working a few months ago. i'm making a pittance and feeling pretty miserable. sometimes i wish life came with a fast-forward button, because i've been living under a rock socially for the past few years and i don't want to keep going like this.


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## orpheus (Nov 16, 2003)

i'm not in a very good position financially to really be on the prowl. most women aren't gold-diggers, but it's not so appealing to be 25 (as i am) and without a career or a steady income


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## pixiedust (Aug 11, 2005)

Funny, I wish I could rewind and do it all over again. 


John_K said:


> i know these things (in addition to being average looking and having asian genes that make me look 5 years younger than i am) are what's holding me back from being taken seriously by women my age.


 Why do you have to date women your age? Why can't you date someone older or younger (not too young though :lol )? Maybe if you expanded the pool you restrict yourself to you'll have some more luck. :stu


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

John_K said:


> i know these things (in addition to being average looking and having asian genes that make me look 5 years younger than i am) are what's holding me back from being taken seriously by women my age.


Um, well, that's a problem for me too. I don't have any "asian genes" but I look about 8 or 9 years younger than my age. I don't see how girls (or anyone, for that matter) can take seriously someone who's 25 but looks about 17. I think that contributes a lot to my low social confidence.



> at the same time, i know guys who are like me but 5-10 years older who found someone and got married. they were single until their 30's, when they got a few years into their careers and began earning a decent income. all the sudden they became husband-material, because some of their boring traits were now positives and they had the means to support a family.


Yeah that's interesting, isn't it? Doesn't reflect too well.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

I'm 30, employed full time with a steady job and make a pretty decent income considering I only have a high school education. But women show no interest in me...I don't think its all about money. I wouldn't want a gold digger anyway, I want someone who's attracted to me both physically and to my personality but that seems like a fantasy because its never happened.


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

I wish I could go back to the age of 20 and start all over again. This time, WITHOUT my social anxiety. I am now 40 and feel like the past 20 years have been a complete loss/waste/insert appropriate failure word. I basically accomplished nothing during those years. Not one date (ever) ... very minimal social life ... no career to speak of (just get whatever jobs I can get) ... have lived with my parents my entire life due to my severe SA ... etc. Yes, sad but true. Those 20 years are the prime years of one's life, but I might as well had been in a coma during those years because, of my SA, I basically done nothing with my life.

Since I found out I had SA (severe SA) about 1 and a half - 2 years ago, I've been slowly improving -- due to Dr. Richards SA tapes, a few months of SA therapy meetings, and just the fact of KNOWING what my problem was, and knowing I wasn't crazy after all... that I had a condition. I'm now getting close to moving into my own place for the first time in my life. I may be getting an apartment within the next month or two. After that I'm going to try to slowly build up some type of life - including getting into a relationship. When a person reaches 40 and has never been on a date, then the obvious fear is that the opposite sex will be freaked out by this and will run the other way. That is my fear. Not to mention the fact of my living with my parents my entire life will probably also have them thinking the worst about me. I guess those are two things I'm just going to have to hide as best I can. 

I don't know, at the age of 40 and all the things I have not done that other people my age have already done ... long ago ... I may be a lost cause. :sigh 

Lifetimer


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## alex989 (Nov 20, 2005)

Zephyr said:


> John_K said:
> 
> 
> > i know these things (in addition to being average looking and having asian genes that make me look 5 years younger than i am) are what's holding me back from being taken seriously by women my age.
> ...


I've always thought that i look kind of young compared to my peers. It's probably the main cause of my social anxiety as well. I'm 17, almost 18, and i'd imagine it would be hell to be in your mid 20's and look 16-17. I know i'm supposed to look young at my age, but quite a few, maybe most of my peers look considerably older and are more physically mature than me. Some of them already look like they're in their 20's. Its so fustrating, I know how you feel. I have a feeling that we'll appreciate looking young in the long run. I have an uncle who looks like he's in his late 30's and it wasnt until a few weeks ago i found out that he is actually 53 years old. I was totally shocked and I think it would be awesome to be in your 50's and look like you're in your 30's. It's just really hard to deal with when you're young i guess.


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

Well I'm 40 and I've been told I look 30... or even less than 30. I've also been told I act very young. One guy from my former workplace said I acted like a teenager. I think it is because I have lived such a sheltered life and have not had many "life experiences" in my life, due to my SA. So I think I come across as a naive person., inexperienced person. I don't necessarily like looking really young or acting young because I don't think people - especially women - take me seriously.

I'm working on acting more "my age", but it isn't easy. :b 

Lifetimer


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

I'm a 25 year old single girl and have never been in a relationship either. I've also been told I look 5 yrs younger. Odd enough, I find myself wishing the opposite: I wish I could go back in time - without my social anxiety - and just enjoy my youth while I can. Go to pub nights at university, date, and just live my life without the burden of social phobia and depression. I look at other people my age who seem to be happy and secure with who they are and I wish I could feel the same. It's interesting that you would want to fast forward in time. But since going back or ahead in time isn't possible the only real option we have is to appreciate our lives for what it is and continue to strive to make it even better. :stu


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## GraceLikeRain (Nov 9, 2003)

dez said:


> But since going back or ahead in time isn't possible the only real option we have is to appreciate our lives for what it is and continue to strive to make it even better. :stu


 :agree


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## onlylordknows (Apr 27, 2004)

John_K, where in Florida do you live?


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

dez said:


> It's interesting that you would want to fast forward in time. But since going back or ahead in time isn't possible the only real option we have is to appreciate our lives for what it is and continue to strive to make it even better.


...Or maybe it IS possible to go back in time. :time

It's funny you should mention going back or ahead in time. Just this morning I was listening on the radio to an interview with a man talking about time travel. He says that back in the year 2000 that a guy was posting on the internet about being a time traveler from the year 2036. He had some sort of time travel machine that made it possible. He started posting things that would happen in the future, and strangely enough some of the things he predicted began to happen.

Yes, it's a crazy notion, and I'm not saying I believe the guy was a time traveler, but it makes you think. He went by the name of "John Titor". I'm not sure is that is suppose to be his real name or an alias. Below is a link to a website concerning this person. Click on the link "John Titor Story", for a better explanation of what it's about.

http://johntitor.com/

Lifetimer


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## Ross (Apr 10, 2004)

I look really young for my age too and I've never even had a woman show interest in me.

I'm 30 but I look more like I'm 20 or 21.


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## John_K (Aug 21, 2004)

dez said:


> I wish I could go back in time - without my social anxiety - and just enjoy my youth while I can.


actually, i wouldn't mind living the days when i was 16-19 again, i had a somewhat normal social life then. but now everyone i know has moved away and is busy with school/work and i spend a lot of time alone stressing over my job, some family problems and lack of an s.o.

last december i got the chance to hang out with my old friends and travel a bit and for the time being i didn't care about having a girlfriend, in fact i enjoyed being single. it's just these prolonged periods of being alone that gets me i guess.



onlylordknows said:


> John_K, where in Florida do you live?


i live in sanford but work in the orlando area.


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

Lifetimer said:


> Yes, it's a crazy notion, and I'm not saying I believe the guy was a time traveler, but it makes you think. He went by the name of "John Titor". I'm not sure is that is suppose to be his real name or an alias. Below is a link to a website concerning this person. Click on the link "John Titor Story", for a better explanation of what it's about.
> 
> http://johntitor.com/


It makes you think how gullible people are. A quick search reveals that Titor failed to predict 9/11, or Iraq and Afghanistan, and his prediction of "civil unrest" during the 2004 election failed spectacularly.


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## Mr_Twig (Apr 10, 2006)

I'm not particularly satisfied with my 20's so far either-I'm not really sure what the appeal is, as as far as I know the only advantage of being young (other than health, I guess) is _looking_ young. As I am a hideous pus-bucket, that really isn't a huge draw for me.

Seriously, life's too short to be nostalgic for a certain age. If you peaked at 25, that's not really worth bragging about.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

> One guy from my former workplace said I acted like a teenager. I think it is because I have lived such a sheltered life and have not had many "life experiences" in my life, due to my SA. So I think I come across as a naive person., inexperienced person. I don't necessarily like looking really young or acting young because I don't think people - especially women - take me seriously.


Yeah that's me totally. Not only do I look young, I feel young because I'm so inexperienced. I never did the typical stuff teenagers do, like have friends, date, go to parties, bars, etc.


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## Zephyr (Nov 8, 2003)

Mr_Twig said:


> Seriously, life's too short to be nostalgic for a certain age. If you peaked at 25, that's not really worth bragging about.


Thinking about this, I believe I peaked at about age 10. Seriously. I actually had some friends, wasn't tooo socially anxious, didn't have all my other psychological hangups, hadn't totally descended into ugliness. I was at my social, physical, and in some ways mental peak.


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## Mr_Twig (Apr 10, 2006)

Zephyr said:


> Thinking about this, I believe I peaked at about age 10. Seriously. I actually had some friends, wasn't tooo socially anxious, didn't have all my other psychological hangups, hadn't totally descended into ugliness. I was at my social, physical, and in some ways mental peak.


Oh sure, being 10 was great-I haven't been happy overall since then. I think believing childhood was a mental peak is okay, assuming you have a decent childhood that is.


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## InNeedOfALife (Sep 23, 2005)

I just turned 21 on the 15th and now I wish life came with a SLOW MOTION button or a STEP button or a PAUSE button so I can straighten things up and prepare for life ahead. Girls don't really matter at this point to me, they come naturally as your social status grows. It's getting scarier as time progresses especially when I am doing absolutely nothing. Knowing that I have to settle for a GED is quite unnerving also so I'd definitely appreciate a time altering device to slow down time to give me some time to insure a bright, wealthy future.  dammit!.


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

I wish I could rewind it all and do it again.


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## ott (Aug 2, 2005)

ColdFury said:


> I wish I could rewind it all and do it again.


 :agree There's some things I'd like to have done differently.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Yep, same here!


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## sprinter (Nov 22, 2003)

Life's like an hour glass glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button. I'd settle for a slow down. Lifetimer... I'm pretty much in the same boat as you.


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## the crucible (Jan 3, 2005)

Argo said:


> Lifetimer said:
> 
> 
> > Yes, it's a crazy notion, and I'm not saying I believe the guy was a time traveler, but it makes you think. He went by the name of "John Titor". I'm not sure is that is suppose to be his real name or an alias. Below is a link to a website concerning this person. Click on the link "John Titor Story", for a better explanation of what it's about.
> ...


Also, this guy claims to have been born in 1998 and that when he was 8 years old, he and his family had to move out of the city in Florida where he was born because the government was starting to take citizens freedoms away from them, arresting people for no reason, etc. The point is that he would have been 8-years-old in 2006! I've never heard of people moving out of their communities because the sociopolitical unrest was so bad they wanted to avoid being seized.

He seems to be a guy who lives in his own reality, making up stories about how he wishes our current society to be...


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## onlylordknows (Apr 27, 2004)

I know my life can't be perfect so I don't want all the years I wasted back... but I would like to be 20 again as a college sophomore.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

pixiedust said:


> Funny, I wish I could rewind and do it all over again.
> 
> 
> John_K said:
> ...


This goes back to SA. You fear dating someone with a greater than average age difference because of how society will view you.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

I wish that I'd start living my 20's. Countless good looking women at school and I past it up, although I wouldn't call it an oppertunity considering my attributes. Soon I'll be graduating. Hopefully I don't regret this and will realize either way I didn't have a chance.


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

Sprinter- glad I'm not the only one who listens to Anna Nalick


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

I wish I could just fast forward and be 90 now.


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## sprinter (Nov 22, 2003)

Equisgurl said:


> Sprinter- glad I'm not the only one who listens to Anna Nalick


She's great. I got the "I'd settle for a slowdown" from a Dierks Bentley song. :lol


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## John_K (Aug 21, 2004)

anonymousnewbie said:


> Man, JohnK, you must be kidding me. Why would you wish to be older rather than younger? Being in the late teens or early to mid 20's is like the times you should get the most out of your life before "settling down" when you're married.


i think i just feel old. i get tired easily. the thought of getting married and settling down actually appeals to me, if it's a mature and committed relationship.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

I'm going to be 24 in August. Everyone says that is young... be young, enjoy being young, bla bla. Oh, and I'm just being negative. Give that one to me again. I want to be 42. By age 42 maybe I'll have had at least one serious relationship. I can't even bring myself to walk into a bar by myself. By 42 I'll have posted so many lame internet personals ads that something will have to give.


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## fraidycat (Oct 29, 2004)

there's nothing wrong w/wanting to be older..maybe you want the security that comes from it, if that makes sense? Personally, I like to go back to my early 20's ..there's definitely still hope that things will get better but the thought of passing any more time like this is upsetting. You know that five for fighting song..100 years..totally hits the nail on the head for me in terms of time and aging..reminds me to not take time for granted, or at least to try to.


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