# How to walk around like im the ish like everyone else does



## FlufflyPurplePillow (Mar 7, 2011)

irrelevant.


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## Endorphin (Dec 4, 2011)

Well the easiest way is to ACT the way you wanna be and you will become that way. Sorry i cant help with the whole question cuz im on my ipod and its slow to type. But even tho i was socially anxious, i acted like i was laid back and it caught on. Now i dont look nervous, now it looks like i dont give a f about anyone haha


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## FlufflyPurplePillow (Mar 7, 2011)

Endorphin said:


> Well the easiest way is to ACT the way you wanna be and you will become that way. Sorry i cant help with the whole question cuz im on my ipod and its slow to type. But even tho i was socially anxious, i acted like i was laid back and it caught on. Now i dont look nervous, now it looks like i dont give a f about anyone haha


Hhahahaha!!! funny i cant wait till i get to that point! >.<


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## tyleote (Dec 4, 2011)

I've found the most comfortable way is to meet their gaze with confident eye contact. People want to make eye contact with you, but only briefly. When you break eye contact, don't dart your eyes away, practice slowly looking away from someone. I think if you avoid eye contact they will be more likely to stare. Make eye contact as soon as you sense them looking - it's like saying "I see you. what?"


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## cuspis (Dec 13, 2011)

NeonGlittaFairy said:


> I guess i'm just tired of being the underdog and tired of people using me as an outlet for their own insecurities. There is only two things that happen to me when I go outside. People either stare LONG and HARD at me or they do all they can to avoid looking at me like their scared.


Is it possible that you are completely misinterpreting everything? Consider for a moment that maybe they are looking at you just as long as they would anyone else, and that those who appear to be avoiding your glance aren't even paying you any attention. I would be quite surprised if either of your above assumptions were accurate.



NeonGlittaFairy said:


> I'm tense and just uncomfortable being around people. Which makes ppl stare even more. How can I walk around like i'm the sh.it like I see everyone else doing. So I can start automatically staring at ppl and make them feel all inferior like most people do me?


I'm not sure that pretending you're relaxed and faking confidence will give you any sort of lasting and genuine confidence. One of the hallmarks of SAD are 'cognitive distortions', and targeting these will bring you the fastest relief. Modifying these distortions is a gradual process that takes time and real effort.



> I dont do ANYTHING out of the ordinary. I dress regular, regular hair, I DO have big eyes is that it?? I mean I dunno. But it cant be cuz im hot or anything cuz no one smiles at me like i said ppl stare at me like im a monster or they avoid looking at me like im a monster. Please help me with this whole questions and not just bits of it thnxxxxxxx.


Do you stare 'LONG' and 'HARD' at someone with an unusual haircut? How about someone with a unique piece of clothing? Do you stare 'LONG' and 'HARD' at a person with large eyes? Of course you don't. Hardly anyone does. Hell, large eyes can actually be quite attractive!


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## Porterdog (Sep 17, 2010)

Take SSRI's. You will be too anhedonic to give a crap.
actually dont.


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## Grapefruits (Oct 26, 2010)

Some of this could all be in your head. I often feel the same way that you do.

One thing I have learned it that it is perfectly fine not to make eye contact with others. Ignore other people. Don't look at them. If they think that you are an arrogant snob, or if you are weird, who cares? That is entirely their problem, and they are making judgements about you before they know you.

Also, if you absolutely want to look normal, why don't you just try mimicking other people? That is what I try to do. I am not normal. I don't know how to be normal. I've suffered from extreme paranoia for years. I try to observe the body language, actions, etc. of every one around me and I try to mimic them. Sometimes, it works and from the corner of my eye I can see that no one is staring at me. However, it is all an act. On the inside, my heart is pounding, my thoughts are racing, and I am wondering to myself, "Am I blending in? Are people looking at me? Do people know that I am faking it and am just trying to blend in?" 

Ugh, I wear my self out with my OCD sometimes.


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## Sage Sagan (Dec 12, 2011)

People sometimes stare because they like what they see.


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## smt074 (Dec 16, 2011)

Sage Sagan said:


> People sometimes stare because they like what they see.


+1 I generally make eye contact with women that I find attractive. I love it when I can get them to smile. Of course I'm really shy so I usually look away quickly but when I'm feeling good I can sometimes hold eye contact pretty well. But it's a good possibility that you could be getting checked out.


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## FlufflyPurplePillow (Mar 7, 2011)

smt074 said:


> +1 I generally make eye contact with women that I find attractive. I love it when I can get them to smile. Of course I'm really shy so I usually look away quickly but when I'm feeling good I can sometimes hold eye contact pretty well. But it's a good possibility that you could be getting checked out.


I know for one thing that im not attractive. Never had a boyfriend and can't make friend either bcuz they dont like me off the bat or we become friend then they start hating me. I've tried all these things ppl mention, but ppl still can read right thru me. I just never wanna leave the house again.


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## FlufflyPurplePillow (Mar 7, 2011)

Grapefruits said:


> Some of this could all be in your head. I often feel the same way that you do.
> 
> One thing I have learned it that it is perfectly fine not to make eye contact with others. Ignore other people. Don't look at them. If they think that you are an arrogant snob, or if you are weird, who cares? That is entirely their problem, and they are making judgements about you before they know you.
> 
> ...


I've tried the mimicking thing. You're right if I pretty much BECOME them and exude to them the vibe they exude to me they will see me as normal or one of them. Which makes them look away from me, because why would someone stare at someone who's basically THEMSELVES. But sometimes it doesn't work. And im back weakened again.

Sometimes ppl catch me off guard my nerves come before I can mimic them and they are staring at me in fear again.


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## ForeverStallone (Apr 4, 2011)




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## saltyleaf (Dec 30, 2011)

i hear you have to "fake it to make it" which is exactly what i do sometimes. yes it doesnt always work but enough for people to wonder if im a weirdo instead of knowing it. i work in retail so you can imagine how many people i encounter daily but it's not as bad as it seems. 
i totally get your walking problem though. when i walk i always think am i walking weird, am i slouched, where do i put my arms, are they swinging abnormally; tons of ridiculous questions! and of course i have to think everyone is a mind reader and that they hear all of my ridiculous thoughts and think "what a weirdo!" haha
i dont really have advice for you since i cant say i walk around like im the *ish since i dont consider myself that way. however, i can tell you what i do to fake it.
i basically rarely look at anyone when passing them by. if i can i act like im looking in my phone or i'll focus on doing something like putting on lip chap or picking at my nail. wow this sounds more stupid now that iim writing it down lol but doing this, for the most part, draws my attention away from thinking about all that nonsense i mentioned earlier. even when someone is looking at me i rarely look back, esp if it's a stranger, and my coping technique works. most of the time when im at wrk im super busy so i can just speed by everyone and that helps with my problem.
something i still have problems with is walking pass a cowokrer i know and just saying a normal hello or whatever. i mean i can speak to them it's just that weird walk down a long hall or whatever and you both are walking towards each other. i dont know what to do or say. i try to just look straight until we're close enough to say hello but then i think they think im ignoring them. or if i do look their way too soon then im just starring at them and making this perfectly awkward-less situation AWKWARD. -story of my life :/


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## nSpace (Feb 18, 2011)

Sage Sagan said:


> People sometimes stare because they like what they see.


Best post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously looking at people in the eye is natural social human behaviour, its not always meant to intimidate. Do you not look at people just for the sake of looking at them? Is there always a hidden sinister agenda? Why would other people be any different. Not everyone outside is your enemy!! Just be safe and trust in your judgement of people (after you work on some of the distorted thinking).


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## softshock11 (Jan 9, 2011)

I used to worry about it but TRYING is too much effort and makes me more anxious.
My solution was not caring, ignoring them, enjoying the fresh air - or not so fresh air (i live in the city)...and just noticing everything around myself and others. Like a sense that it's US and the world not just me and the world. It makes me feel much more confident and walking in public bearable.

HAHAHA i love THIS



ForeverStallone said:


>


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## rockysowner (Nov 9, 2011)

I have SA I just constantly look all around so I can't notice people. I squint too like so my vision is blurry. I don't know I'm weird what can I say ;D


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## Piscesfish202 (Feb 12, 2012)

I think "cuspis" was saying some very good stuff. For myself I think the only way I'm ever gonna grow as a person is to be uninhibited in public and see how people react like...well, what works. I mean I'm not completely free, but, people look at you and can be thinking a million different things.Try saying something to them, catch them off guard. Don't assume the worst and don't assume you can mind read. Most likely they're thinking about their own problems and worries. They could be thinking about painted butterflies though. Who knows?? point is, don't try to be what you think other people are being! Think about why it is you think that, maybe you watched too much Sex and the City or Desperate Housewives and think you know everyone else's intentions like you're borderline crazy haha.
...Learn to be yourself and love yourself with all your imperfections and laugh at yourself I guess is my point. I think it's funny the things you think because I think the same things yet still stay in my head! lol. we're so stupid. There is no such thing as NORMAL and whatever it is it bores the crap outta me and anyone else on this planet. You know that as well as I do.


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