# No drive, ambition, nothing?



## KimberlyK

I have read some posts where people say SA is holding them back. They have all these things they want to accomplish so they push themselves. 

I don't have any ambition and I never have. No wonder I couldn't decide on a major, I didn't have any goals at all. What is wrong with me? 

All I want to do is take my dog for long walks, that is my goal. Why don't I want to make something of myself and be a productive member of society? There is no drive, no fire in my belly, nothing. 

I can't think of one thing I would want to do with my life if I was suddenly cured of SA and depression. When there has been a reduction in my SA and depression I still don't feel any urge to do anything, I am just a little bit happier and not as angry and cranky. 

Am I the only one?


----------



## estrella

You are definitely not the only one. A lot of times I just don't feel anything and I wonder why I'm even here.


----------



## Misanthropy

No, you are not alone.

I don't want to do anything except sit around on my computer, watch TV and sleep. I have next to no personal or career aspirations and very little motivation in all areas of my life. The only reason I go to work each day and actually achieve something is because I'd die without money for food, water and shelter and I'd be bored without the Internet and TV - that's it. There's no great plan in my life; I'm not working to 'better myself' and get ahead in the world.

To really illustrate my lack of motivation and drive, it actually makes me _angry_ that I'll need to work for the better part of my life just to stay alive and maintain the status quo. If it were up to me I'd fade away into nothingness. Why can't the world just leave me alone and stop requiring me for things? Why must I have responsibilities when it comes to family, friends and work? Why is the burden of simply being _alive_ forced upon me? I never asked for all of this. Please, just go away and let me waste space in peace.

To reiterate: _I don't want to do anything._

Note: As a disclaimer, I've been to college and studied engineering but my heart was never in it. (It's tough trying to get through uni when you have zero work ethic.)


----------



## emeraldoceans

The way you talk about ambition, majors and goals i take it you are referring to careers? 

Its all a matter of how you choose to look at it. Careers and jobs are only a very small part of who we are, actually they are not "who" we are at all. Society has just placed so much emphasis on the fact that if we are not a "productive" part of society then we are somehow useless and as good faithful flocks of sheep we all follow that train of thought. Life is about so much more that this, its about the type of people we become. Are we good friends to others, do we treat pple with respect and dignity, do we try and make our world a better place etc etc. My goals and drives at the moment are all based on personal growth, trying to make myself the best i can be for me. Sure one of my goals is to find a job and im confident that i can achieve that but i no longer buy into the hype that working is everything. Too many pple place so much emphasis on this and evrything around them tends to get neglected but they are happy b/c they are doing what they are told they should be doing. If taking your dogs for long walks is your goal and makes you happy then go for it there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, its your life and nobody elses business what you do with it. Dont be hard on yourself just b/c you dont share in the thoughts of others. At least you are being honest with yourself.


----------



## Halcyon

> Life is about so much more that this, its about the type of people we become. Are we good friends to others, do we treat pple with respect and dignity, do we try and make our world a better place etc etc


love that


----------



## instil

depressed or not, anxious or not, mostly the only constant drive i have (for the past 3 years, and counting) is to sleep. i can sleep anytime,anywhere, and for unusual lengths of time....my brain needs to take a break from itself maybe


----------



## KimberlyK

Thanks for all of the responses! 



emeraldoceans said:


> The way you talk about ambition, majors and goals i take it you are referring to careers?
> 
> Its all a matter of how you choose to look at it. Careers and jobs are only a very small part of who we are, actually they are not "who" we are at all. Society has just placed so much emphasis on the fact that if we are not a "productive" part of society then we are somehow useless and as good faithful flocks of sheep we all follow that train of thought. Life is about so much more that this, its about the type of people we become. Are we good friends to others, do we treat pple with respect and dignity, do we try and make our world a better place etc etc. My goals and drives at the moment are all based on personal growth, trying to make myself the best i can be for me. Sure one of my goals is to find a job and im confident that i can achieve that but i no longer buy into the hype that working is everything. Too many pple place so much emphasis on this and evrything around them tends to get neglected but they are happy b/c they are doing what they are told they should be doing. If taking your dogs for long walks is your goal and makes you happy then go for it there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, its your life and nobody elses business what you do with it. Dont be hard on yourself just b/c you dont share in the thoughts of others. At least you are being honest with yourself.


I do agree that work isn't everything and being a good person is important, I just wish I had a little bit of ambition to enjoy life.

I am now on disability but when I used to work my job wasn't my idea of a real job. A real job is something that pays well and allows for some kind of personal fulfillment. A career isn't everything but if you spend 40 hrs a week or more working it should have some redeeming qualities besides the paycheck.


----------



## lilly

I've never had any ambition. I allowed people to tell me what course to do and did it. Then I did another course that I wanted to do when I was old enough to decide for myself.
Now I still have no driving ambition. I think it just means that there are people who are not aggressive and don't want stuff so much - that's not such a bad thing.


----------



## instil

Kimberly69 said:


> A real job is something that pays well and allows for some kind of personal fulfillment. A career isn't everything but if you spend 40 hrs a week or more working it should have some redeeming qualities besides the paycheck.


either i figured it out first, or havent yet had MY OWN moment of clarity...but ive come to find out that a job is exactly that, a place you 
have to go early in the morning, and gets you a check on 
friday.


----------



## Matt J

This is a huge problem for me. Im constantly coming up with new ideas of things Id like to do, but know only too well that Ill never do them. I completely lack any drive and motivation to do anything beyond getting out of bed.

I failed at University because of it.

I use to work full time in sales and I did things there only because I had too, I had a boss to answer too after all. But now ive quit that because it was incredibly boring and I dont know what to do with myself. I was thinking of volunteering, but I have no real skills, and I need to do something paid. Money is starting to get very tight.

What Ive failed at because of no motivation drive:

1) Failed uni after 2 years
2) Left a job where I could have been management, because it was boring and I lack drive, motivation
3) Ive let some of my websites go to crap because I havent been bothered to update them..again, I have no self discipline or work ethic these days.
4) Going out to events, functions and what not...

Its an ongoing problem and I think it comes back to the fact ive got nothing to motivate me. Ive only ever worked to put food on the table, Ive never been driven to be a millionaire.

What I lack is a soulmate, someone to push me to do things I want to do...I know thats the problem.


----------



## ColdFury

Sometimes I have to struggle to find the energy to just get out of bed.


----------



## moejo

Matt J said:


> Its an ongoing problem and I think it comes back to the fact ive got nothing to motivate me. Ive only ever worked to put food on the table, Ive never been driven to be a millionaire.
> 
> What I lack is a soulmate, someone to push me to do things I want to do...I know thats the problem.


Wow! My thoughts exactly. I'm a smart person but have zero drive. I know lacking a significant other is the reason why. When in a relationship you're self esteem skyrockets and the rest falls into place. I've seen it with 2 people I know.

In college I thought a girl in one of my classes was interested in me. I got all A's that semester. Sadly, she justed used me for my notetaking.

I dropped out 6 months later. My drive and motivation was sucked out of me. Not being wanted or loved is a horrible feeling.


----------



## shiznit

I never really had dreams as a kid, sad for sure. I prey to the gods that im right on this one cuz I have a dream now I came up with a few years ago but my self confidence aka SA blinds me right now from seeing it actually blossom. It will though. :con 

Matt: sadly soulmates are not your solution. I know what ur thinkin, many peeps do. They may motivate you from the start, but if ur not happy with yourself, if you dont love yourself, the relationship will ultimately fail. Without self love a soulmate will not help you like you might think, they will ultimately result in pain. If you want a long term positive soulmate, you have to love yourself first.


----------



## Matt J

shiznit said:


> I never really had dreams as a kid, sad for sure. I prey to the gods that im right on this one cuz I have a dream now I came up with a few years ago but my self confidence aka SA blinds me right now from seeing it actually blossom. It will though. :con
> 
> Matt: sadly soulmates are not your solution. I know what ur thinkin, many peeps do. They may motivate you from the start, but if ur not happy with yourself, if you dont love yourself, the relationship will ultimately fail. Without self love a soulmate will not help you like you might think, they will ultimately result in pain. If you want a long term positive soulmate, you have to love yourself first.


Theres a lot of truth in what youre saying, but its a vicious circle isnt it.

The only way im going to love myself is by digging myself out of this pit im in. In order to do that I need to set a lot of things straight, and activate a lot of areas in my life that are currently stagnant or non existant - work, exercise, associations with friends and people, volunteering, going to uni again. But I cant help but think none of that is going to mean squat If I cant find somebody to love and love me back...Everything else is just white noise in comparison.


----------



## IndigoGirl

Motivation, drive, ambition low? Yep. I have really nothing to strive towards right now. I'm confused and stuck. There's no other way to describe my personal situation...


----------



## Futures

I'm always amazed at how much work experience everyone seems to have. I'm 25, and it seems that everyone started working back when they were 16, and they've consistantly held a variety of different jobs ever since then. By the time they graduate college, they already have 6 or 7 different jobs under their belt.

And here I am, I never even considered working while in school or over the summers when school was out. I just wanted to be a kid and enjoy my summers, and only now do I realize the mistake that was. 

When I was sitting in my room all summer long, my peers were out gaining experience and preparing for the future. Seriously, where was I when they taught everyone the importance of being an over-achiever?


----------



## instil

Futures said:


> I'm always amazed at how much work experience everyone seems to have. I'm 25, and it seems that everyone started working back when they were 16, and they've consistantly held a variety of different jobs ever since then. By the time they graduate college, they already have 6 or 7 different jobs under their belt.
> 
> And here I am, I never even considered working while in school or over the summers when school was out. I just wanted to be a kid and enjoy my summers, and only now do I realize the mistake that was.
> 
> When I was sitting in my room all summer long, my peers were out gaining experience and preparing for the future. Seriously, where was I when they taught everyone the importance of being an over-achiever?


while i was out working as an entry level- _______ (fill in the blank, ive had jobs in very different fields) everyone else was in college getting a degree. But I find that now when i go on interviews, im pretty successful despite the fact i never completed college since i have a pretty broad range of experience. You can really only have one or the other, degree or experience...its hard to work full time while you are in school. As long as you have one or the other, you will make it.


----------



## KimberlyK

Futures said:


> I'm always amazed at how much work experience everyone seems to have. I'm 25, and it seems that everyone started working back when they were 16, and they've consistantly held a variety of different jobs ever since then. By the time they graduate college, they already have 6 or 7 different jobs under their belt.
> 
> And here I am, I never even considered working while in school or over the summers when school was out. I just wanted to be a kid and enjoy my summers, and only now do I realize the mistake that was.
> 
> When I was sitting in my room all summer long, my peers were out gaining experience and preparing for the future. Seriously, where was I when they taught everyone the importance of being an over-achiever?


I didn't work at all as a teen-ager. I was 18 when I got a job answering phones and doing light paperwork. I don't think teen-agers should work unless they really want to. You are only young once, you have the whole rest of your life to work.

On the other hand, I wasn't sitting in my room all summer. I had quite a bit of fun as kid. I went horseback riding and swimming and I had plenty of time to read.


----------



## ghostgurl

I don't really know what to do with my life either. I just kind of sit back and watch and see what happens. Then hope that things go well for me.


----------



## Matt J

I got a fair idea of what I want to do...but no motivation to do it. Obviously I dont want that much....Ive tried to develop motivation over time, tried to manufacture it, but I cant seem to stay focused these days.


----------



## KimberlyK

shyguy246 said:


> Having a soul mate does not change things that much. I found mine. Shes a lot younger than me but we've been together for 3 years. She wants to move in together when she starts college in 2 years so now she's trying to motivate me to get a job and finish school. She wants whats best for me..for us. But everyday and everynight, I still sit around and wonder how or when this is all going to change. I have been going to a psychologist for over a year but I moved. Tomorrow, I have a doctors appointment at 930am. Its 5am right now, and as much as I planned to go to my appointment, I am now once again talking myself out of going to it. Why do I do that? I do it all the time. I told my girlfriend and my family I was going to register at school in September...and now Hallowee'en is next friggin week! I have absolutely no drive or ambition AT ALL. I don't have a job, I am on Ontario Disability Support Program. It is enough to pay bills and have a couple dollars for stuff I'd like to buy. Except I dont want anything, so I usually gamble or smoke it away. And that makes me feel soooo bad cause its taxpayers money, but without me being on this, Id be living on the street. I actually know what I'd like to be for the rest of my life. An online poker player :lol Try explaining that one to a girlfriend. She says I dont HAVE to get a job or get better. She says she wouldnt leave me cause she understands what I am dealing with, but that she just wants me to try. And I am running out of excuses to tell her. Basically, a woman is not the answer. I dont know what to do anymore. :fall


Maybe, the day hasn't come yet when you say, "Enough of this I'm going to go see the doctor." I know the first time I went to the doctor I had just finally hit rock bottom.

I have been on disability since Spring of 2002 but only the last year have I been on government supported disability. I can't see myself ever being off of disability because I can't imagine actually going back to work, the thought makes me sick. I try to be as productive as I can for my husband and being a help to my neighbors and most of the time I am fine with that. I just worry about being dependent on this little amount of money. What is going to happen when inevitably I end up alone? I also wonder is disability going to hold me back? Right now, I feel it is a security blanket but what if it become my own little prison cell?


----------



## paranoid

I feel the same way..I had a lot of ambition and motivation in the past but the past couple years have beaten it out of me. Just getting through a day is so exhausting I don't know how I could do anything above just "getting by". My only goal is to finish my degree, but I don't know what I'd do with it or what I want to do afterwards. I think if I had some career goal I would have something to strive for, and having a good career I would feel less bad about being socially defective because at least I would have SOMETHING in my life. I have zero direction and don't think I have the courage or energy to make it happen...


----------



## Matt J

shyguy246 said:


> Having a soul mate does not change things that much. I found mine. Shes a lot younger than me but we've been together for 3 years. She wants to move in together when she starts college in 2 years so now she's trying to motivate me to get a job and finish school. She wants whats best for me..for us. But everyday and everynight, I still sit around and wonder how or when this is all going to change. I have been going to a psychologist for over a year but I moved. Tomorrow, I have a doctors appointment at 930am. Its 5am right now, and as much as I planned to go to my appointment, I am now once again talking myself out of going to it. Why do I do that? I do it all the time. I told my girlfriend and my family I was going to register at school in September...and now Hallowee'en is next friggin week! I have absolutely no drive or ambition AT ALL. I don't have a job, I am on Ontario Disability Support Program. It is enough to pay bills and have a couple dollars for stuff I'd like to buy. Except I dont want anything, so I usually gamble or smoke it away. And that makes me feel soooo bad cause its taxpayers money, but without me being on this, Id be living on the street. I actually know what I'd like to be for the rest of my life. An online poker player :lol Try explaining that one to a girlfriend. She says I dont HAVE to get a job or get better. She says she wouldnt leave me cause she understands what I am dealing with, but that she just wants me to try. And I am running out of excuses to tell her. Basically, a woman is not the answer. I dont know what to do anymore. :fall


Your incredibly lucky to have girlfriend like that though. Perhaps your right, It wouldnt make a differance..but I just think thats one thing thats always been missing from my life..and it leaves a great big gaping hole.


----------



## Carbon Breather

shyguy246 said:


> . The only person that can change you, is you. .


I disagree. I think finding other people you like being around will help. I will never get better if i just sit here alone reading self help books etc..
To get rid of SA you will need help from other people.

I think finding a soulmate (or someone you really like, friend, partner etc...) would make a big difference for me. Someone you could call and just talk about anything with.


----------



## anonymid

Yes, this describes me perfectly. I have few defined goals, ambitions, passions, desires. I generally feel arbitrary and directionless.


----------



## bent

i also think that being with other people can help, especially if you also have depression. but if you are flat and you've failed at fundamentally important things in life then it's hard.

i personally did have dreams as a child...not big ones...mainly about having friends and girls...those dreams have been shattered. now i have no motivation since i know that the few things in life i cared about most are forever beyond my reach.


----------



## Takemeaway26

*I understand what you are going through*

Seriously You are not alone.
I am only twenty but I have felt the same way for as long as I can remember.

During my highschool years I ended up dropping out of school technically and transferred to online a month later. I somehow managed to get my diploma although I had no drive or ambition to do so.

Since then my direction has been nowhere. I don't even have a job anymore. I can't seem to make myself interested in anything nor do I want too. 
I feel like existence is absolutely pointless and question why I am even here a lot of the time.

It is horrible and I would not wish this feeling on anyone.....But I honestly feel like there are some of us who will never fit into the demands and flow of this world.

I am one of them. You may be too. Honestly there is nothing that I even WANT to do with my life. If I was told to pick anything that I want to do, money being of no consequence, everything would be covered and I would be successful....I would have no idea what that would be. Because even the things that I am interested in...it's only interest in a slight way. It's not a passion nor a drive.

Sometimes I feel hopeless.

But I bet you are smart....smarter than most people. I have noticed this among very intelligent people. We are able to see the through all the bull**** of the world and in turn we really want nothing to do with it. :blank


----------



## Grumple

Yeah, I never wanted to do anything. I used to play video games a lot and that was something, more recently I've lost the drive to do leisurely activities that require any energy at all.

Actually, I'm driven not to burden my parents for too long, so once I've moved out my mission's complete. People with dreams are crazy


----------



## Jos1

Yes I can totally relate. The only motivation I have to do something career/ambition wise is created by thinking about the consequences of not doing what I have to do.

I have to say though, I think if I gained more confidence and self esteem I would have more hope thus more motivation. I think hope and belief comes before motivation. I'll live with the anxiety while I'm in the situation I just want to feel a lot better about things.


----------



## Rififi

You are not alone...I got dreams, I got illusions, but my will is weak right now, I'm 29 years old and I don't know what I'm gonna do with my time, life and whatever, I got a girl, she is succesful, she motivates me but right now my life sucks, 'cause she is in Europe and I gotta go there to see her, to live with her, to feel her, but I don't know if I'm gonna make it, sometimes I think : what the hell is she doing with me? wasting time? I got no money to support anyone, not even myself, God help me .


----------



## Jos1

bent said:


> i personally did have dreams as a child...not big ones...mainly about having friends and girls...those dreams have been shattered. now i have no motivation since i know that the few things in life i cared about most are forever beyond my reach.


I know it's an old one but I'll say it again - it's never too late , ha I say that very half heartedly but you got to stay hopeful.

Why is beyond your reach at 36?


----------



## anonymid

Wow, very old thread bump. Still describes me perfectly, though: no fire in the belly, no specific goals or dreams that I feel anxiety and depression are holding me back from.


----------



## HenDoggy

Yep, I've been feeling quite down lately. Hopefully my life picks up soon.  I'm so tired of this...


----------



## BlueDay

anonymid said:


> Wow, very old thread bump. Still describes me perfectly, though: no fire in the belly, no specific goals or dreams that I feel anxiety and depression are holding me back from.


I'm in a rut and you're scaring me, as your old post goes back over 8 years! Hope things pick up for both of us!!!


----------



## Apoc Revolution

_It's always the new members who revive old threads lol...
_


----------



## jema12

**** society,figure out how to be happy for yourself. What has society done for you? Live for yourself and your family/friends, don't worry about being a "productive" member of society. Ask yourself "if money was no object, what would i do all day and what do i love doing?" Maybe there is a way to turn that idea into a way to make enough money to survive.


----------



## In a Lonely Place

I don't think I ever had any real ambition or drive, at 18 I felt that way and I'm just the same at 43. What the hell causes a person to feel that way, everybody loves to talk about their goals, dreams, my only dream was to have my own family but that was indeed just a dream and it's gone now.


----------



## HenDoggy

Apoc Revolution said:


> _It's always the new members who revive old threads lol...
> _


That's how they find these forums, by googling old threads lol


----------



## Imbored21

I don't have goals or drive either. I just pretend like I do so girls won't disregard me.


----------

