# irrational fear of talking to girls



## shylitthlelad (Oct 4, 2012)

Hi , 

My parents have brought me up in a very close environment, this affected me so badly as I hardly had some friends in my childhood. the girls in my class kept trying to talk to me as I look quite handsome ,but I was too shy to talk to them :blank:blank this made them call me "the sphinx" referring to me not talking nor being active.

nowadays I am still too shy of talking to girls and once I pass by any of the girls I met in my childhood, I turn my face away from them unintentionally and once I get into a conversation with a girl , I start mumbling and sweating.


Is there anyone like me ? please, share your experience with me and help me solve this issue.


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## Ben Williams (Sep 9, 2012)

lol yeah bro, definitely. I'm terrible at it, even though i've been told im handsome, been hit on my some pretty girls, i still obsess about how they'll view me and find it nearly impossible to talk to them beyond the hi's and how are you doing stage. But don't get caught up looking to solve this right away mate, it will be a steady thing. Do you get counselling or anything? and are you anxious around people other than girls?


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## shylitthlelad (Oct 4, 2012)

Thanks Mr.Ben

I really find it hard talking to girls and don't know how to solve this problem.

thank you anyway,I may get some courage someday. *hope so*


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

I've always have had a hard time talking to girls. I'm sick of the way that I am. I don't see how I'm ever going to have a girlfriend.


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## Insider (Sep 17, 2012)

It might be easier for me if a girl told me I was handsome but that has never happened.


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

Insider said:


> It might be easier for me if a girl told me I was handsome but that has never happened.


That's what I've been waiting for but it has never happened. I don't count when I was young. It's never gonna happen for me. If it has not happened yet I don't see it ever happening.


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## brownzerg (Jan 8, 2012)

I never get compliments. So far i've only received two in recent memory: 

The checkout lady at the grocery said "Wow, not too many gentlemen around here" and smiled when I bent down and lifted the two twelve packs of soda from the bottom of the cart so she wouldn't have to. I didn't know what to say but I was busy with the action that I didn't quite catch it and had to be informed later.

Another checkout lady at the grocery said that my long hair really suited me and I thanked her and said that I liked my hair too.

Outside of that I either have to ask for opinions or whatnot on my looks (see the glasses/no glasses thread in the member photo section). 
A lady mentioned in there that my facial hair really suited me too, so that makes me feel pretty good about it  

I get a lot of negative feedback like shaving or the glasses not being good or the hair being too long, which is fine but I like my glasses/hair so  

to the OP and the original statement:
I get nervous just being in close proximity of ladies. Like the very sight of me is making them uncomfortable. I read extra carefully in their body language and usually can either spot or create a negative and then I just feel like crap and want to help her to feel better by taking my creepy *** away, hoping that perhaps distance will make her feel more comfortable.


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## Dash9 (Oct 4, 2012)

May I suggest something? Do online dating I'm the same exact way, or was! Now I'm more comfortable talking to women then men. I got one website I use message if you want to know what it is, it's really good and a start.


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## brownzerg (Jan 8, 2012)

I did online dating for a while (Eight months) and in my experience it was just a total crapshoot for me. I wasn't good enough or high enough in the pile of guys lavishing attention that I just didn't get picked. Or the people I was messaging were long since inactive.

The OP and others in this thread might have better success though, I'd certainly recommend giving it a shot. At least it's something right?


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## Dash9 (Oct 4, 2012)

brownzerg said:


> I did online dating for a while (Eight months) and in my experience it was just a total crapshoot for me. I wasn't good enough or high enough in the pile of guys lavishing attention that I just didn't get picked. Or the people I was messaging were long since inactive.
> 
> The OP and others in this thread might have better success though, I'd certainly recommend giving it a shot. At least it's something right?


It depends on what site and yes sometimes the competition with the amount of men on those sites are just unbelievable! talk about five guys to one girl...I found I got royally screwed over by e harmony,match, and dna dating...best luck for me was plenty of fish I always got a girl within a month or two.

E harmony you owe me money!


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## EddieRedfern (Jan 13, 2013)

Whenever I want to talk to a girl that I like, I can never pluck up the courage to talk to her. Whenever I feel like I can, I think about all the times that the idiots at my school called me names such as gay and stuff like that and it makes me just walk away from her. I hate not being able to talk to her because I really like her. I get no compliments form any girls and am starting to really give up any hope. I wish that one day, I could ask her out or even talk to her without sweating or stopping halfway through my sentence as the fear kicks in.


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## Live (Jan 1, 2013)

Egypt=sphinx ooo man this is too funny


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## AlphaHydrae (Jun 15, 2011)

I have troubles talking to guys too.. But if girls appear to be overly active as they approach you, they can be pretty intimidating. I suppose just smile a lot. 


Don't let the girls from your childhood get to you now. They were just immature brats. Very often when girls are rejected ( you not talking to them) they'd be very embarrassed among their peers, so they would attack your weak point, and make things your fault. 

Good luck with girls ' take it slowly. You need someone who would understand


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## Anxietyriddled (Jan 5, 2013)

Think about why exactly you are afraid of talking to women. Why women specifically? Just because you're lonely and see every woman as a potential mate? Afraid to take criticism? Afraid you're not up to there level? What does a woman have over you? What makes her better or more worthy then you?

I have trouble with it too but I have generalized anxiety so talking to men is difficult for me as well. Talk to all people the same wether male or female (with some exceptions of course, common sense) Don't expect nothing from them, your just talking because you're a friendly social person(or at least try to be that way). Jerks come in all sizes looks and sexes. So if I girl is rude to your advance make _her_ look bad for it. "Geez not very sociable are you?" "Do you usually ignore people? talk about rude!". You gotta be inventive with it yo! Life is a competition for quality mates and resources, if you got a deficiency that gives you a weakness people will use it to surpass you.

No matter what any one tells you never believe that you aren't good or worthy of a happy life!


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## matte (Sep 10, 2011)

I know EXACTLY how you feel. Used to be like that.

It gradually subsided, I guess. There was this one girl who kept talking to me and stuff. We talk on the phone sometimes, and that helped me curb the fear. 

Maybe you just need some exposure, just keep trying to talk to girls. And I don't think girls would mind you trying to talk to them and mumbling and stuff, I mean, you're handsome. LOL.


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