# I get anxious whenever a guy tries to flirt with me



## JuneBird (Apr 18, 2017)

It's so sad that I can't even enjoy it. But I can't calm down. I'll start talking regularly, and then they'll throw in a line...and I shut down. And it's not a gross pick-up line or bad way of doing it, either. I just start on auto pilot and I'm like "he's looking at me, he's looking at me, he's looking at me" and I shut down.

The other night this guy was talking to me and then I saw the look and the smile...honestly I just walked away with my container to get some more water. Acted busy. Then he commented to my friend that I just "ran away?" 

I freaked. Internally. Like I tried to play it cool but I booked it out of there because I can't relax. Everything started into overdrive.

I don't know how to fix this. I feel like I'm wasting my 20's.


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## 629753 (Apr 7, 2015)

What are thoughts saying?


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## JuneBird (Apr 18, 2017)

impedido10 said:


> What are thoughts saying?


Basically that, the longer I talk to him, the more time he'll have to notice every single imperfection about me. Such an awful wheel going round in my head.


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## Twilightforce (Aug 7, 2016)

I could never flirt because I can never talk to a girl.


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## caelle (Sep 9, 2008)

Just an attractive guy talking to me makes me nervous. I think the same as you, the more they talk to me the more they will see all my imperfections and see how lame I actually am. It has happened before so I'm always expecting it.


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## ThatGuy11200 (Sep 3, 2012)

As a man, I feel exactly the same way. But if you don't talk to them, they will lose interest anyway.

Perhaps what you're really afraid of is that they might actually be interested in you, but you don't feel worthy of that interest.

Either way, it's a self-esteem issue. Maybe there's a counsellor/therapist you could talk to about it.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Aww don't think like that give yourself a chance.


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## Deaf Mute (Jun 12, 2017)

It's like everyone is losing, or.. everyone IS losing. It sad from both perspectives, since with situations like these it's easy for both parties to misunderstand each other since there's no perspective, not like in the movies where you see how both characters feel.


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## awayfromhome (Jun 9, 2017)

kobowden said:


> It's so sad that I can't even enjoy it. But I can't calm down. I'll start talking regularly, and then they'll throw in a line...and I shut down. And it's not a gross pick-up line or bad way of doing it, either. I just start on auto pilot and I'm like "he's looking at me, he's looking at me, he's looking at me" and I shut down.
> 
> The other night this guy was talking to me and then I saw the look and the smile...honestly I just walked away with my container to get some more water. Acted busy. Then he commented to my friend that I just "ran away?"
> 
> ...


Ugh, this is basically me, except that I avoid most social situations altogether now so it can't happen often. I wish I could be useful here, but I am not sure what to do either. What I am trying to do is get more comfortable speaking in voice chat online, hoping that if I can deal with it there I can move on to deal with it in person too.


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## Lethalskies (Jun 26, 2017)

Same problem with flirting. Yet I couldn't even speak to guys around my age through out my highschool . At the end of highschool I worked during summer and forced myself to somehow mutter out 2 or 3 sentences I was required to do for my job as I worked with people. Still now in my early twenties I'm having light nausea and light panic attack when being talked to by male acquaintance or stranger.


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## foreigngirl (Jun 25, 2017)

kobowden said:


> Basically that, the longer I talk to him, the more time he'll have to notice every single imperfection about me. Such an awful wheel going round in my head.


its the same witth me

my thought are like , when hes talking with me i wil have nothing to say , even if i have somehting to say i wont say it becaus thats so stupid and he will get bored of me in a min and he will just go away ..


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## Ramintafromlt (Jun 19, 2015)

at least someone flirts with you


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