# Meeting people you met online



## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

Ok....so I had been chatting with a man on POF for a few days when he finally asked me for my number. We've been texting each other for a grand total of three days, and he REALLY wants to meet me. I'm slowly starting to realize that I probably don't want to meet him. We arent very compatible. He's 24, a trucker and lives on a farm with his mom in Ocala. He is already talking about marriage/having kids with me and has made it very clear to me that he is...uh, in heat... ALL THE TIME.
The only reason I continued talking to him was because he seemed kind of sweet at first. But he's getting more and more forward with the messages he sends me....and he also gets kinda pissed when I talk to anyone else.
He's asked me what my cup size is, told me what his penis size is and basically gave me an idea of how "skilled" he is in bed.
He's a ******* trucker with no money and no place to go in his life. And he's willing to drive ALL THE WAY from Ocala just to see me......and I'm PRETTY SURE he's expecting some *** when he gets here.
Should I meet this man? It would be pretty easy to take advantage of me. If I don't meet him, What the **** should I tell him?


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

Oh, sweetie. That doesn't sound good. I think you need to cut things off now before I call Chris Hanson.


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## cakesniffer (Nov 11, 2003)

Stay far far away.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Uhh I wouldn't meet him. When a guy says things like that to you when you don't really know them that well sends off creepy vibes. I dunno I wouldn't do it. You can lie and say you are busy? That's a hard one though.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Kathykook said:


> Should I meet this man?


Maybe if you want a fling... I wouldn't suggest meeting him if you're not into that, though. I have a feeling the word "no" wouldn't be something he'll take easily.

Whatever you do with this one, tread carefully..



Kathykook said:


> If I don't meet him, What the **** should I tell him?


You've only been talking to him for what? A week? It's not like you have some kind of major commitment to him.

You could say, "This isn't going to work. I'm not interested in dating someone right now."

Whatever you say, if anything, be blunt and leave no room for questions. Then ignore any further attempts to contact you.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

The thing that bothers me is how abrasive he is. He HAS to text me every second of the day to tell me how needy he is and how much he wants to meet me. If I tell him no, he'll really fly off the Wagon. Well I guess I'm an idiot when it comes to relationships, because I have NO IDEA how fast or slow this is supposed to go.
I think I'm just going to meet him once....and after he sees my social phobia, he won't like me anymore. I've only met TWO people in my life who I had no problem being myself in front of after meeting them at that instant, and I SERIOUSLY doubt this man is going to be one of them.


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## AnxiousA (Oct 31, 2011)

I'd weigh up the possible outcomes. What is the worst possible outcome of meeting him? The best? The best and worst of not meeting him? Ask yourself which consequences you are comfortable with.


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## Kennnie (Oct 21, 2010)

Run away, Quick!


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## Innamorata (Sep 20, 2011)

I wouldn't meet him at all, he sounds like a creep.


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## Think_For_Yourself (Dec 7, 2010)

Lmfao. That clown is absurd.


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## Downwiththesickness (Nov 13, 2010)

NOOOOOOOOOOO DO NOT MEET HIM!!!! Defiantly do not meet him! What kind of weirdo tells you the size of his penis!?!? That in itself is enough of a red alert to stay the hell away and cut all contact (unless your into that kind of thing but It doesn't sound like you are) Seriously you should block him and never ever speak to him again


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## Dreamscape (Sep 18, 2010)

You are asking for trouble if you meet up with this guy, no joke. This sounds like a giant red flag in almost every way possible. I have nothing against people who decide to meet up from online, but it's moving way too fast and this guy sounds _very_ shady. It seems way too dangerous to meet him even once. Don't do it!


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## gilt (Jan 7, 2010)

He sounds very aggressive & controlling. I'd strongly suggest that you break contact with this guy.


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## JupiterStarr (Nov 4, 2010)

Kathykook said:


> The thing that bothers me is how abrasive he is. He HAS to text me every second of the day to tell me how needy he is and how much he wants to meet me. If I tell him no, he'll really fly off the Wagon. Well I guess I'm an idiot when it comes to relationships, because I have NO IDEA how fast or slow this is supposed to go.
> I think I'm just going to meet him once....and after he sees my social phobia, he won't like me anymore. I've only met TWO people in my life who I had no problem being myself in front of after meeting them at that instant, and I SERIOUSLY doubt this man is going to be one of them.


No. Do not meet him. He sounds as if he could really hurt you. He comes across as sexually aggressive, too.


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## RyanJ (Mar 31, 2009)

Kathykook said:


> We've been texting each other for a grand total of three days, and he REALLY wants to meet me. I'm slowly starting to realize that I probably don't want to meet him. We arent very compatible. He's...a trucker and lives on a farm with his mom in Ocala. He is already talking about marriage/having kids with me and has made it very clear to me that he is...uh, in heat... ALL THE TIME.
> 
> ...He...gets kinda pissed when I talk to anyone else.
> He's asked me what my cup size is, told me what his penis size is and basically gave me an idea of how "skilled" he is in bed.
> ...


I think you already know the answer to that question. 

----

Key:

Orange = probably not compatible and/or what you are looking for

Red =


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## offbyone (May 5, 2010)

I'm just going to add another RUN KATHY RUN, to the chorus. Run and never look back.


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## Syndacus (Aug 9, 2011)

Just break contact with him completely. No need to reply back to any of his messages, and number one thing, don't feel bad at all. There's a sucker born any minute, don't be that sucker.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

He put his best foot forward to make sure the hook was in your mouth. Now that he _thinks_ he's got you, he's trying to reel you in. Take the hook out of your mouth and swim away. You'll end up in the frying pan if you trust him.

Sorry 'bout the cheesy analogy thing...Im bored. :b


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

Oh god....how do I break contact him? He already has my cell phone number, email and POF username. He's going to harass me to no end if I stop texting him....he ALREADY does it when I stop talking to him for 5 minutes.

I'm going to have to bite the bullet and meet him =( it will be in a public place, so it won't be that bad.

His most recent text....."do you want me to be urs?"
HOLY **** GOD HELP ME


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Kathykook said:


> *Oh god....how do I break contact him? He already has my cell phone number, email and POF username.* He's going to harass me to no end if I stop texting him....he ALREADY does it when I stop talking to him for 5 minutes.
> 
> I'm going to have to bite the bullet and meet him =( it will be in a public place, so it won't be that bad.
> 
> ...


Erm, change your number, get a new email and a new account on another date site?


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## Siertes (Oct 27, 2011)

Kathykook said:


> Oh god....how do I break contact him? He already has my cell phone number, email and POF username. He's going to harass me to no end if I stop texting him....he ALREADY does it when I stop talking to him for 5 minutes.
> 
> I'm going to have to bite the bullet and meet him =( it will be in a public place, so it won't be that bad.
> 
> ...


Seriously, do not meet this guy. Things will only get more difficult if you do. Numbers/emails/usernames can always be changed. Your safety should be the most important thing to you right now and this doesn't sound like a safe guy to meet. He sounds creepy, horny, and aggressive so if you want to bite any bullet, it should be the one telling him to **** off. I truly believe you're making a huge mistake if you go through with this...


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Check that, you do know that you can block users on POF.


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## melissa75 (Feb 16, 2010)

Kathykook said:


> Oh god....how do I break contact him? He already has my cell phone number, email and POF username. He's going to harass me to no end if I stop texting him....he ALREADY does it when I stop talking to him for 5 minutes.
> 
> I'm going to have to bite the bullet and meet him =( it will be in a public place, so it won't be that bad.
> 
> ...


I PROMISE you, if you meet him, it will get 100x worse. Don't get in any deeper. You will regret it if you meet him, and you will wish that you had texted him ANYTHING to not have met him.

You could always just be honest with him. Text him and tell him things moved way too fast for you and that you no longer feel comfortable meeting him. And, you're no longer interested in continuing any communication. Keep it simple and direct.

If he badgers you, don't respond. He only has your email/phone #, so it's not like he can do anything much with it. If it gets bad, change your # if you have to. You can block his emails. And, you can change your pof username probably. He sounds controlling and aggressive, so just be careful. Don't meet him.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

> I'm going to have to bite the bullet and meet him


Why do you think you have to? If you think its bad now, it will be much worse in person(as Melissa stated). Over the phone, he can harrass you for not answering his texts. In person, he can hit you or even worse. Dont give in to someone like this, because if you do, you're just telling them that their behavior is ok.

Today in Ocala, a teenage girl went missing after going to meet up with her friends. It had only been 12 hours since when I saw the flyer, so there may not be a story on it yet. It was in Marion County, FL.

This isnt looking good Kathy. Don't become another statistic. :no


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

Ok...now he asked me if I'm a virgin and if I'll be "bringing a purse to the movie." Why would he ask that?


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## Siertes (Oct 27, 2011)

Kathykook said:


> Ok...now he asked me if I'm a virgin and if I'll be "bringing a purse to the movie." Why would he ask that?


He wants to take your virginity and see if you have some place to hide the mace. Seriously, I think the concept of "Abort mission" was invented specifically for this situation.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Kathykook said:


> Oh god....how do I break contact him? He already has my cell phone number, email and POF username. He's going to harass me to no end if I stop texting him....he ALREADY does it when I stop talking to him for 5 minutes.
> 
> I'm going to have to bite the bullet and meet him =( it will be in a public place, so it won't be that bad.
> 
> ...


Dude don't meet him!


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## melissa75 (Feb 16, 2010)

Kathykook said:


> Ok...now he asked me if I'm a virgin and if I'll be "bringing a purse to the movie." Why would he ask that?


Please don't meet him. I'm really worried about you! This isn't good.

In fact, you need to take this opportunity to tell him that question was completely inappropriate along with other things you have just let slide. And, NOW, you need to stop talking to him. Period.


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## cakesniffer (Nov 11, 2003)

This guy sounds like a lunatic. Block him on your phone, block him on your email address, and block him everywhere else. He sounds like the type who will follow you home, and then he'll know where you live.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

cakesniffer said:


> This guy sounds like a lunatic. Block him on your phone, block him on your email address, and block him everywhere else. He sounds like the type who will follow you home, and then he'll know where you live.


How do you block people on your phone? I will be taking the bus home, so hopefully he won't be able to follow me.


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)

I can't believe you are even considering this. Why do you feel obliged to meet him if you have no interest in him? Meeting him sends him the message you are interested in him, which you're obviously not. If you think things are bad now, just wait till after you've met him.


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## cakesniffer (Nov 11, 2003)

Kathykook said:


> How do you block people on your phone? I will be taking the bus home, so hopefully he won't be able to follow me.


It's going to depend on who your carrier is and what phone you have, so give them a call. And for future reference, set up a number with Google Voice (it's free) and communicate with people through that number so they don't have your actual number.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

You don't need to do anything... Just keep ignoring him and he'll eventually stop trying to contact you.

If you absolutely _must_ meet him, make it in a very public place and if you're going to be alone together, make sure someone close to you is aware of where you'll be and when they should expect to hear from you.

But you really should take the advice of everyone here (how often do you see 100% agreement among every response in a thread on this site?) ...Don't do it...

If you need to, you can change your number, change your email address, and make a new POF account. If you let him into your life, though? Let him find out where you live and all? Then things become a LOT more complicated.


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## RyanJ (Mar 31, 2009)

If it feels like a potentially sketchy situation, then it probably is. I know many of us with SA have an overactive fear response, but this is one of those situations where such feelings are justified. If you don't want to meet him, then don't meet him. It's really that simple. 

Don't put yourself in a situation you don't want to be in because you feel bothered into it either. That will mostly likely just make things worse (and him even more persistent).

Long story short: don't do it.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

Kathykook said:


> I'm going to have to bite the bullet and meet him =(


No. You don't. There is no reason whatsoever that you have to do anything of the sort.

All you need to do is cut off contact. Stop replying to his texts. Just b/c he messages you, doesn't mean you have to respond. He'll give up eventually.

This guy is exhibiting every red flag known to man. You don't really know this guys at all, and he could do much worse than simply take advantage of you. Don't go. Stop talking to him. Problem solved.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

I don't want this dude to commit suicide or something. He seems really desperate to be loved.


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## RyanJ (Mar 31, 2009)

Kathykook said:


> I don't want this dude to commit suicide or something. He seems really desperate to be loved.


Don't emotionally blackmail yourself on his behalf...lol... He'll be fine. You can only be responsible for yourself. If he is contemplating doing something like that over a three day text relationship breakup, then he needs professional help, not a relationship.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

He's already calling me "babe" and "sweetie." you guys may see this as being a creep but i see it as a desperate need for love. He doesn't have a father or mother. He's pretty lonely.
I just told him I don't want to date him because he's too old for me. I feel like **** =(


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## artandis (Jun 5, 2011)

Kathykook said:


> He's already calling me "babe" and "sweetie." you guys may see this as being a creep but i see it as a desperate need for love. He doesn't have a father or mother. He's pretty lonely.
> I just told him I don't want to date him because he's too old for me. I feel like **** =(


He sounds like a manipulative ******* who is already affecting you and already making you feel like ****. Don't feel bad for him, don't meet him.

If he really is that lonely, he needs to fix the behavior that makes him come across as a basket case. Which is his problem, not yours. You have no obligation to meet with him or fix his loneliness in any way. You should look after yourself and if he makes you feel uncomfortable and he is giving you warning signs you should stop contact with him. Just ignore him.


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## RyanJ (Mar 31, 2009)

Kathykook said:


> He [...] lives on a farm *with his mom* in Ocala.





Kathykook said:


> *He doesn't have a* father or *mother*.


Am I missing something here?


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

RyanJ said:


> Am I missing something here?


Holy ****. So he lied to me about that too =(To make me feel sorry for him. I'm done with him. Now he's telling me he doesn't have friends.
I just asked him why he asked me all those questions about my body and he said "to meet u as it is." what the hell does that mean?...


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## Sam1911 (Dec 4, 2010)

don't give out your number next time, he just wants to bone you. ABORT! ABORT!


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

Sam1911 said:


> don't give out your number next time, he just wants to bone you. ABORT! ABORT!


How do I reverse the fact that I ALREADY gave him my number?


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## Sam1911 (Dec 4, 2010)

Kathykook said:


> How do I reverse the fact that I ALREADY gave him my number?


change your number, take down your POF pics/info and make a new profile on a new account with a different user name


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## offbyone (May 5, 2010)

Kathykook said:


> How do I reverse the fact that I ALREADY gave him my number?


Give him a few days (2 or so) of no contact and then tell him you changed your mind and don't want any more contact with him (don't say you're sorry, that'll set off stalkerish tendancies if he has them). Don't even give him excuses. If he pushes, continue to ignore him. Any contact you make with him after that is going to illicit more responses and encourage them.

Unless he's some super hacker, a high placed government official, or works at the phone company there is no way he can track you by your phone number. Don't bother changing it unless he keeps harassing you, same thing with your POF account or anything else.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

offbyone said:


> Give him a few days (2 or so) of no contact and then tell him you changed your mind and don't want any more contact with him (don't say you're sorry, that'll set off stalkerish tendancies if he has them). Don't even give him excuses. If he pushes, continue to ignore him. Any contact you make with him after that is going to illicit more responses and encourage them.
> 
> Unless he's some super hacker, a high placed government official, or works at the phone company there is no way he can track you by your phone number. Don't bother changing it unless he keeps harassing you, same thing with your POF account or anything else.


There's no way he could stalk me....I never told him where I lived. 
I'm ignoring him now.


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## Snowblind89 (Jul 27, 2010)

RyanJ said:


> Am I missing something here?


I'm glad you pointed that out already, I was about to do so too.

To the OP I suggest to follow the advice that the people on this forum gave and DO NOT meet up with that guy.

Is it even normal for 24 year olds to seek 19 year olds?


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

Kathy it sounds like you're the lonely and desperate one if you were even considering such a creepy weirdo for a second. I get it...but there ARE good guys out there. Don't make a mistake like this out of desperation, don't give up looking for a good man.


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...crushes-can-you-relate-148227/#post1059382738


Kathykook said:


> I don't bother with boys......I tend to crush on the "big men." A.k.a. men with a high social status who barely know I exist. I think it's the ambition that gets me. Which is kind of *****y, I admit


I'd suggest you tell this dude to get lost. Better he looks to drain his horny ******* rocks elsewhere and you look for your big, ambitious, prince charming with high social status. Neither of you have much to offer each other.


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## rgrwng (Aug 25, 2011)

since this trucker guy does not know where you live, yet, ignoring him and sending him off the deep end might be beneficial. he may end up on the news for driving off a pier or a cliff. then when he's identified on the news you could say "whew! glad i did not go through with that!"


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## Misanthropic79 (May 6, 2011)

RyanJ said:


> Am I missing something here?


I'm thinking he does still live with mother, like this guy.........










Seriously Kathy this guy sounds like a serial killer, keep ignoring him. He's NOT your problem.


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## seafolly (Jun 17, 2010)

I'm glad you're ignoring him now. This had way too many red flags to even count. And as a ton of people said, a) meeting him would drag you in that much further, giving him a voice and a face and all that and b) his intention seems crystal clear. You did the right thing. I'd personally change my number anyway because it's scary what information can be found on the internet. I'll bet he'll be just fine.


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## JAkDy (Jan 23, 2011)

Kathykook said:


> Oh god....how do I break contact him? He already has my cell phone number, email and POF username. He's going to harass me to no end if I stop texting him....he ALREADY does it when I stop talking to him for 5 minutes.
> 
> I'm going to have to bite the bullet and meet him =( it will be in a public place, so it won't be that bad.
> 
> ...


Tell him clearly 'no' and that u dont want to talk to him......then just stop replying to him.


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## RockBottomRiser (Jun 5, 2011)

I'm not buying it.


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## RyanJ (Mar 31, 2009)

Kathykook said:


> There's no way he could stalk me....I never told him where I lived.
> I'm ignoring him now.


Good!



Misanthropic79 said:


> I'm thinking he does still live with mother, like this guy.........
> 
> 
> 
> ...


:teeth


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

He stopped texting me after sending me ten messages in a row that said, "Hi."
GOD. I'm really dumb sometimes.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

max4225 said:


> What happened?


Nothing. I just stopped replying. We were supposed to go on a date this Tuesday. If he texts me on Tuesday, I'll just ignore him. Nothing will happen. I'm safe for now.


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

As I read this thread from the beginning to end today I was a little frightened that you were actually going to meet him. This guy definitely has some issues.


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## mardy423 (Aug 27, 2008)

No offence, but i think you should stop all contact with this man ASAP. Every piece of "info" you give him is just giving him something to cling to you with. Block his number if you can, and block him from POF if you can.


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## JupiterStarr (Nov 4, 2010)

Kathy, I'm happy you stayed safe.


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## pjm1978 (Sep 28, 2009)

Try not to beat yourself up over this. We've all had our share of crazies in the dating game.


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## Kathykook (Aug 16, 2011)

Most of my dumb decisions come from loneliness.


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## JupiterStarr (Nov 4, 2010)

Kathykook said:


> Most of my dumb decisions come from loneliness.


*hugs*. I can so relate. I know the right answers to things but due to loneliness I tend to ignore them. Thank goodness you're safe. You'll one day meet a great guy.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

Kathykook said:


> Most of my dumb decisions come from loneliness.


I can so relate to that. I've made not so great decisions. So you are not the only one.


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