# Losing virginity to an escort?



## dragonborn (Jul 29, 2009)

I'm a 21 year old guy, recently graduated from University. I've never had a girlfriend or anything like that. For the past couple of months, I have been feeling very sexually frustrated. This is to the point where I cannot concentrate on other things. I was thinking about just hiring an escort for 30 mins to 1 hour and losing my virginity to her. What do you guys think about this?


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

It's hard for me to say for sure, as I ended up losing it through the normal channels...but I do remember how horrible that feeling was of having an itch that just couldn't be scratched. I ended up losing my virginity at 24, so you're still not doing so bad. But honestly, once I got out of college and I got a job and a car and I was working out a lot, that really helped my confidence. It just felt - despite not having any friends or having even kissed a girl - like I was becoming a man. And that helped me get out there and finally start approaching girls.

My advice to you without really knowing your situation is to give the real world a shot. Now that you don't have the pressures of schoolwork and all the social pressures University brings, focus on developing your confidence a bit. Because honestly, losing your virginity to a hooker to me would be like putting calamine lotion on your itch - you'll feel better temporarily but it will come back soon enough. And this is the kind of itch that comes back twice as strong. Some will disagree with my general sentiment (*cough*scarpia*cough*), but I would still only recommend it as a last resort. Give it some more time.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

Sod that,

better off waiting to find someone special, which will happen, then you will at least respect and know more about the person you lost it to


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

It's not worth it. I lost it to some guy I was dating for 2 weeks casually and I regret the experience because I wish it was with someone I loved. My fiance didn't have sex until he was 23.

If it's hard for you to focus on stuff with your life, have you tried talking to a counselor or therapist?


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Go for it. But don't just give up on "normal" women either. You're not gonna be satisfied with just sex. You'll want to get wifed up eventually. Being in love and being intimate with your woman is the most wonderful feeling in the world.


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## Cashew (May 30, 2010)

Eh, if you really want to, go for it. It might make your craving stronger though, and I'm pretty sure most non-escort ladies won't like it.


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## Propaganda (Oct 26, 2010)

I say do whatever... just be safe. Also, don't go cheap, that will suck, in a bad way. Save up and get a the service of a higher end professional. (not that I know anything about this really)


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Siringo said:


> Eh, if you really want to, go for it. It might make your craving stronger though, and I'm pretty sure most non-escort ladies won't like it.


I agree. There's a good chance you're going to crave for more sex after you've done it. Might as well save it to a special lady you're with so you can cherish sex with her more than once with the same person rather than a lot of sex with random sexual encounters.


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## orbero (Jul 20, 2012)

I think it's a great idea. I plan to do the same after University.


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

I personally wouldn't. On the plus side, if you're an honest person anyways, you won't have to deal with those awful moments when people inquire about how you lost your virginity, or sex in general. On the downside, you'll forever be stuck knowing your first time was with a hooker, and if you want to be in honest relationships, good luck with telling any future girlfriends about that in a way that doesn't make them feel a lot less attracted to you.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I don't think I ever had the discussion about how I lost my virginity/how he lost his virginity with my ex-boyfriends. Maybe my first bf seemed a bit curious since he knew I had never had a bf before. He didn't need to know and never directly inquired so I never said anything. (


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## lonelyjew (Jan 20, 2010)

komorikun said:


> I don't think I ever had the discussion about how I lost my virginity/how he lost his virginity with my ex-boyfriends. Maybe my first bf seemed a bit curious since he knew I had never had a bf before. He didn't need to know and never directly inquired so I never said anything. (I slept with 2 guys I met at bars prior to him.)


I don't remember how it came out in my current relationship, but I've never felt the need to hide who I was, and actually she responded positively to the fact that I had made the decision to not lose my virginity for the sake of losing it, and was waiting to lose it to someone I loved. I still felt insecure enough about it to feel the need to mention that I had opportunities to lose it on several occasions though. Anyways, I can't imagine it won't come up at some point in a serious and open relationship, even if only to learn about your partner as it is a significant event. My fiance did notice that I was far more inquisitive about her past relationships as I don't think her other BF's were, but she didn't seemed to mind because my asking was only to get to know her, and what she wanted in relationships, better.


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## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)

I think you will end up regretting it and wished you had waited for the "right" girl.


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Aces_Shy said:


> I think you will end up regretting it and wished you had waited for the "right" girl.


And what if you end up being a 40+ year old virgin with no sex drive anymore because you waited so long for the 'right girl'?

If you wanna bang an escort, then go for it. It'll take the relief of being a virgin off your shoulders and give you more sexual confidence.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

The way i see it is, you do what you got to do. In the end though if you want some "solace", you have to pay for it one way or the other. If you get my drift, lol.


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## Famous (Sep 6, 2011)

nemesis1 said:


> And what if you end up being a 40+ year old virgin with no sex drive anymore because you waited so long for the 'right girl'?
> 
> If you wanna bang an escort, then go for it. It'll take the relief of being a virgin off your shoulders and give you more sexual confidence.


sex drive doesn't stop @ 40 mate


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## Primordial Loop (Apr 5, 2011)

Aces_Shy said:


> I think you will end up regretting it and wished you had waited for the "right" girl.


From experience (random hook-up), this.



nemesis1 said:


> If you wanna bang an escort, then go for it. It'll take the relief of being a virgin off your shoulders and give you more sexual confidence.


Or it could lead to a bad experience that'll destroy any shred of sexual confidence he had beforehand. Which'll suck pretty hard since I don't think he'll get a refund.


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## Recipe For Disaster (Jun 8, 2010)

Sex is meant to be something that you do with someone that you love.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

If you can talk to prostitute then you can talk to a girl. Get out there and find one that will mean something to you. Losing your virginity is highly over rated. Having sex a single time does not change anything. It just leaves you frustrated and wanting more.

If it's something that you want bad enough then you WILL find a way of overcoming the obstacles.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

MrProdigy said:


> I'm a 21 year old guy, recently graduated from University. I've never had a girlfriend or anything like that. For the past couple of months, I have been feeling very sexually frustrated. This is to the point where I cannot concentrate on other things. I was thinking about just hiring an escort for 30 mins to 1 hour and losing my virginity to her. What do you guys think about this?


That is an excellent idea.



Amocholes said:


> Having sex a single time does not change anything. It just leaves you frustrated and wanting more.


 Not true at all. I have been in the OPs situation and I found that it helped quite a bit.


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Totally Terrified said:


> sex drive doesn't stop @ 40 mate


I'm sure it doesnt for people who have regular sex. I've seen plenty of posts on here from older virgins who say their sex drive has vanished from lack of use.



Aatxe said:


> Or it could lead to a bad experience that'll destroy any shred of sexual confidence he had beforehand. Which'll suck pretty hard since I don't think he'll get a refund.


Well thats why you gotta save up for an expensive, beautiful, professional escort :wink. Much less chance of having a bad experience than with some cheap junkie hooker.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

nemesis1 said:


> I'm sure it doesnt for people who have regular sex. I've seen plenty of posts on here from older virgins who say their sex drive has vanished from lack of use.
> 
> Well thats why you gotta save up for an expensive, beautiful, professional escort :wink. Much less chance of having a bad experience than with some cheap junkie hooker.


 Yes - that is true - if you don't use it you can lose it. Guys should actually get over their sexual hang-ups before they graduate from college. That's because college is the best place to find eligible single women.


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## Wrong Galaxy (Aug 13, 2010)

go for it dude!


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

I would advise against it personally, as others said, it may seem like a good idea when it happens, but you'll have to be comfortable with the fact that your first time was with an escort. 

If you decide to go ahead with it, do your research, hire a pro that treats her clients well, and use protection.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

I wonder how many of the guys here advising against it have actually tried hooker sex.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

rymo said:


> Because honestly, losing your virginity to a hooker to me would be like putting calamine lotion on your itch - you'll feel better temporarily but it will come back soon enough. And this is the kind of itch that comes back twice as strong. Some will disagree with my general sentiment (*cough*scarpia*cough*), but I would still only recommend it as a last resort. Give it some more time.


 Yes - I believe in hookers. The great thing about it is that you know you can have sex with a really beautiful woman any time you want. Just knowing that is good for the frustration problem. It does not become a need for hooker sex every day or anything. As long as you realize that it is a service, not love- and it won't turn into love. Just like calamine lotion is geat for an itch, hookers are great for sexual frustration. It's even legal up in ON where the OP is from!


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

scarpia said:


> I wonder how many of the guys here advising against it have actually tried hooker sex.


I wonder how many guys advising against it are still virgins themselves.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

No it's actually not technically legal in Ontario scarpia. The Supreme Court challenged the "bawdy house" law. So I don't think it's actually being enforced right now. And there is talk of brothels becoming legal in Ontario in a year or so? Something like that. "Outcalls" (the escort coming to your place) are completely legal though.


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

If you want to do it, then do it, if you don't or are doubting it, then do not do it.

I think you already have your answer when you asked someone else for an opinion on the matter tbh.


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## forex (Dec 29, 2010)

**** the right girl, it's lust you want to get rid off you aren't planning on
a relationship. guys and girls who had relationships in the past do too get a one night stand. its the same as a escort a one night stand.
if i get my own apartment i will too get an escort for a day.


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

phoenixwright said:


> No it's actually not technically legal in Ontario scarpia. The Supreme Court challenged the "bawdy house" law. So I don't think it's actually being enforced right now. And there is talk of brothels becoming legal in Ontario in a year or so? Something like that. *"Outcalls" (the escort coming to your place) are completely legal though.*


Damn it Canada... why? WHY!!?!? Why do you guys get to have all the fun...


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

komorikun said:


> I don't think I ever had the discussion about how I lost my virginity/how he lost his virginity with my ex-boyfriends. Maybe my first bf seemed a bit curious since he knew I had never had a bf before. He didn't need to know and never directly inquired so I never said anything. (I slept with 2 guys I met at bars prior to him.)


Yeah, I don't know anyone that actually asks how you lost your virginity.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

forex said:


> **** the right girl, it's lust you want to get rid off you aren't planning on
> a relationship. guys and girls who had relationships in the past do too get a one night stand. its the same as a escort a one night stand.
> if i get my own apartment i will too get an escort for a day.


 I do not advise you bringing any hooker to your place. Even if you know her very well. Get a motel room. It's best that she knows as little about you as possible. Just about the scariest movie I ever saw was that Egoyan film Chloe about the psycho hooker. _SCARY!_ It doesn't happen often in real life but best to minimize risk.


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## pbandjam (Sep 24, 2011)

Sounds like a plan since you seem like you've made up your mind. Just protect against sti's is all I'd say.


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

scarpia said:


> I do not advise you bringing any hooker to your place. Even if you know her very well. Get a motel room. It's best that she knows as little about you as possible. Just about the scariest movie I ever saw was that Egoyan film Chloe about the psycho hooker. _SCARY!_ It doesn't happen often in real life but best to minimize risk.


Would you recommend going with one that does incalls or am I just asking to get robbed?


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Well since you're doing it for yourself, then I'd say go for it. 

I don't really like when guys want to pay for sex just to say they aren't a virgin anymore. That's basically just doing it because of the social stigma surrounding it.


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## Loveless (Apr 6, 2012)

I think you shouldn't. As a virgin, I want to lose it to someone I know. Not nessacarily love cause that's never happening for me.


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## NightAssassin (Aug 3, 2012)

Amocholes said:


> If you can talk to prostitute then you can talk to a girl. Get out there and find one that will mean something to you. Losing your virginity is highly over rated. Having sex a single time does not change anything. It just leaves you frustrated and wanting more.
> 
> If it's something that you want bad enough then you WILL find a way of overcoming the obstacles.


No and No

its ezyer to talk to a prostitute becos your PAYING them to be there a random girl you talk to is not getting paid so she will only keep talking if she wants to there for there is room for rejection but a prostitute wants the money so rejection chance is all most 0%



Amocholes said:


> If it's something that you want bad enough then you WILL find a way of overcoming the obstacles.


with most things in life your corect but this involves sum one els and inless he is going to resort to rape then its not up to him it will be up to the women he meets and a **** load of luck


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## NightAssassin (Aug 3, 2012)

MrProdigy

and yea I tryed what your thinking and it sucked not going to give u the BS story about waiting for tru love or any think but I would have perferd it was at lest with sumone I liked at the time the pro ok looking but sucked at it no pun intendned I was so disaponted after she left I drank a leeter of yogomister lol then blacked out till I woke up in bed the next day first time I ever blacked out too

the first time I had sex with a women who wanted to have sex with me was not grate ether she used me for my boddy and I did not even get to cum then she more or less kicked me out after she was dun but at lest cant realy think of a good at lest thing to say but it was cheaper lol

and 1 othere chick who broke up with her BF or sumthing and needed a rebound guy for a few days and that was me not that I new this at the time but yea was one nice week and she gave me a good time and even thow it ended after a week and was still less crap then the escort


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## Sheridan22 (Aug 4, 2012)

If you're really wanting to have sex-- it might be better to find a girlfriend whom you can have sex with MULTIPLE times. Just once with an escort probably wont curb too much and might be kinda depressing. PLus with a girlfriend you get companionship, free sex, yadda yadda yadda.

Of course finding a girlfriend can be hard, BUT it'll totes happen. Until then, you have two hands.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

Sheridan22 said:


> If you're really wanting to have sex-- it might be better to find a girlfriend whom you can have sex with MULTIPLE times. Just once with an escort probably wont curb too much and might be kinda depressing. PLus with a girlfriend you get companionship, free sex, yadda yadda yadda.
> 
> Of course finding a girlfriend can be hard, BUT it'll totes happen. Until then, you have two hands.


Lol, sheridan "love" and "companionship" cost more money in the long run. The man just wants to get his rocks off, obviously the girls who are giving it away for "free" aren't lining up at his door.....why grind himself to through rejection, disappointment, disillusionment, flakiness, looking for a "girlfriend" for "regular sex" that could take months freaking YEARS!!!!!! when he can go to a high class joint and get pass all the bulls%^&, dating rituals and "formalities" and get the transaction he's looking for.
:|


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

scarpia said:


> Not true at all. I have been in the OPs situation and I found that it helped quite a bit.


So you have had sex once and no longer crave or think about it?



NightAssassin said:


> No and No
> 
> its ezyer to talk to a prostitute becos your PAYING them to be there a random girl you talk to is not getting paid so she will only keep talking if she wants to there for there is room for rejection but a prostitute wants the money so rejection chance is all most 0%
> 
> with most things in life your corect but this involves sum one els and inless he is going to resort to rape then its not up to him it will be up to the women he meets and a **** load of luck


Bull****! What difference does it make that you *are* paying her? Most the guys on this site have problems talking to a woman in any situation, let alone talking to one about participating in what is in most places, an illegal activity. I would think that it would be easier (not ezyer) to talk to someone that you have spent some time with and have gotten to know than to ask a stranger to perform sex on you.

Having sex with a prostitute is nothing more than another form of masturbation. There is no intimacy or emotion involved. It is just a physical act and you might as well go to the grocery and buy a watermelon. It would give you the same result.

My point was that if it is something that you really want, you will find a way to work past your SA. It gives you incentive to work against it instead of wallowing in self pity all your life. Will you get rejected? Quite possible a number of times, but you don't give up.

Don't expect to have sex on the first date or even the second or third. Get to know a girl and let her get to know you. Form a relationship and don't be afraid to let her in. If all you show her is a public facade then you might as well head down to King's Cross with a pocket full of money.


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## MaxPower (May 1, 2012)

MrProdigy said:


> I'm a 21 year old guy, recently graduated from University. I've never had a girlfriend or anything like that. For the past couple of months, *I have been feeling very sexually frustrated*. This is to the point where I cannot concentrate on other things. I was thinking about just hiring an escort for 30 mins to 1 hour and losing my virginity to her.





Siringo said:


> It might make your craving stronger though...





MidnightBlu said:


> I agree. There's a good chance you're going to crave for more sex after you've done it.


I agree with both Siringo and MidnightBlu on this, I doubt your frustration will disappear in a one-hour session with an escort.



MrProdigy said:


> What do you guys think about this?


Although I respect escorts and the work they do, I would not use their service. Personally, I don't see the point of paying for their services when I have my hand. That said, if you wish to do so, go ahead, just remember it can't be undone and use protection.


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

theseventhkey said:


> Lol, sheridan "love" and "companionship" cost more money in the long run. The man just wants to get his rocks off, obviously the girls who are giving it away for "free" aren't lining up at his door.....why grind himself to through rejection, disappointment, disillusionment, flakiness, looking for a "girlfriend" for "regular sex" that could take months freaking YEARS!!!!!! when he can go to a high class joint and get pass all the bulls%^&, dating rituals and "formalities" and get the transaction he's looking for.
> :|


**** gets expensive after a while though you have to admit.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

XxArmyofOnexX said:


> **** gets expensive after a while though you have to admit.


In one of my earlier posts, I said either way directly or indirectly you are "paying" for it. it's all payed for. Oh I retract that statement "Hot" men can probably get away with it "one night stands" but averages and below averages like myself everything in life has a price tag agree?


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

The whole point of sex is not to get rid of sexual frustration. The point is pleasure-seeking.

There's something to be said about seducing a woman. It's really fun. Thing is, it's hard to pull an attractive woman (7+) for casual sex. A guy would have to be a 9 or a 10 in the looks department to pull that off. Or have money (whether directly or indirectly "paying for it"). Or fame. Or power.

So yeah if you're not some fairly top-tier stud, your best bet to get sex is to be in a relationship. And if you don't want to put up with all the stuff that comes with dating and getting into a relationship with a woman, then yes, by all means, see an escort. And even if you do want a relationship, it wouldn't hurt to have some fun now while you're still young man.

There are women who won't put up much resistance to hopping into bed with me. And if you're a cute guy, you'd have the same luck I'm sure. But they're almost always women who feel very insecure (below average in attractiveness or they may be mentally unstable) and jump at the chance of feeling wanted and desired by a cute guy. I didn't talk nearly as much as I should have on a date with a woman three days ago (neither did she though. She's also shy). But she agreed to a second date. It's like she gave me a free pass for being cute. For a guy though, I find that the privilege that comes with physical attractiveness doesn't extend too far though. If you're a cute guy with SA, you're still gonna struggle. You need to improve your social skills and get over your shyness.


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

If that's what's right for you, you might consider it.
There are probably a number of regular girls that would dump a guy if they knew about that though, maybe keep it under wraps.


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

theseventhkey said:


> In one of my earlier posts, I said either way directly or indirectly you are "paying" for it. it's all payed for. Oh I retract that statement "Hot" men can probably get away with it "one night stands" but averages and below averages like myself everything in life has a price tag agree?


You're saying dating would be more expensive? I suppose its more of a gamble unlike an escort which is guarantee. What happens when you start to develop feelings? Would one have to train themselves to just ignore the affection bull**** and just go for it directly? I would think it would work short term, but eventually one may realize they're still alone. Then again, look at Charlie Sheen. He doesn't give a flying ****...

I don't know...



VickieKitties said:


> If that's what's right for you, you might consider it.
> There are probably a number of regular girls that would dump a guy if they knew about that though, maybe keep it under wraps.


"Have you ever been with an escort?" "That's classified information, sorry." :lol I'd probably take something like that to the grave. I'm good at keeping secrets.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

XxArmyofOnexX said:


> Would you recommend going with one that does incalls or am I just asking to get robbed?


 Incalls are fine - just incall her to a motel.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Amocholes said:


> So you have had sex once and no longer crave or think about it?


No. I have had sex with several different hookers. I don't feel I need it all the time now. Because I know I can get sex anytime I want my frustration level is much much lower - practically nonexistant.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

scarpia said:


> No. I have had sex with several different hookers. I don't feel I need it all the time now. Because I know I can get sex anytime I want my frustration level is much much lower - practically nonexistant.


So you have overcome your SA enough to perform this transaction. Your next step would be a relationship.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Amocholes said:


> So you have overcome your SA enough to perform this transaction. Your next step would be a relationship.


 Yes - exactly. Baby steps. I think having sex with a prostitute is a good way to get over sexual anxiety also. It makes women and the sex act mush less intimidating so it can be easier to relax when on a real date.



Amocholes said:


> Having sex with a prostitute is nothing more than another form of masturbation. There is no intimacy or emotion involved. It is just a physical act and you might as well go to the grocery and buy a watermelon. It would give you the same result.


But this stuff you wrote makes no sense. Unless a guy has a watermelon fetish.


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## asdf (Jan 19, 2008)

Amocholes said:


> It is just a physical act and you might as well go to the grocery and buy a watermelon. It would give you the same result.


Cutting a slit through a piece of pork is better though.


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## woot (Aug 7, 2009)

Do it. Who cares? Life is short. Stop thinking. Be scared. Do it.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

XxArmyofOnexX said:


> You're saying dating would be more expensive? I suppose its more of a gamble unlike an escort which is guarantee. What happens when you start to develop feelings? Would one have to train themselves to just ignore the affection bull**** and just go for it directly? I would think it would work short term, but eventually one may realize they're still alone. Then again, look at Charlie Sheen. He doesn't give a flying ****...


Lol, lets see every 3rd or fourth paycheck you could save up for a nice "date" where you know you are going to get laid. As far as falling in love with her after bunches of dates well, can't really say anything about it, it sucks for him....it's kind of like friends with benefits falling for each other, the familiarity..who knows, find a new one.

The other end of the spectrum. He has to ask out as many girls he can or focus on one. Then once he's narrowed it down...he has to go on dates with her or them because dating isn't exclusive most girl probably has some stupid 3 or 4 date no sex rule....Most likely he'll have to foot the bill on all the dates these women who are dating other men so we won't even talk about competition here. Those 3 or 4 dates just to get laid will add up being more the working girl. The dates itself dinner movie what have you, the cell phone call to set the dates up, the gas money to pick the dates, then you have to have "game".....lol honestly if I designed the world I would make so everybody would get their wildest dreams, that way we wouldn't have to go through all this crap, lol:fall


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## John316C (May 1, 2011)

depends - honestly not that important for a guy, more important for a girl just the difference in the sex's, i was so bored i barely moved when i went; it was a mistake to go it made me feel "aw.. my first time was with someone i didnt care about and on top of that i was so bored i was literally trying to sum up the mental energy to do , all in all a total waste of money and i didnt get any company i wanted. do yourself a favour and just chill. if you too horny then go if u want. i really had no desire to go i dragged myself there only for two reasons. 1. i wanted to feel love, feel close to someone, anyone! wastte of money i didnt niether did she. 2. i wanted to test if there was something wrong with my libido and yes there was.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

scarpia said:


> But this stuff you wrote makes no sense. Unless a guy has a watermelon fetish.


It does if you actually read my 1st sentence.


> Having sex with a prostitute is nothing more than another form of masturbation.


Put a hole in a watermelon and go for it. You will have the same emotional attachment as you would with a hooker and it's a lot cheaper.

My problem was that I assumed you would want more than a quick ****. my mistake.


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## clutchcity10 (Aug 5, 2012)

I was thinking of this too, and am 21 and just graduated, too.

In college, though, it was different. I've had several girlfriends and several sexual partners, but since college I don't have anybody and I'm very pent up.


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## Wall of Red (Jun 24, 2011)

I lost my virginity to an escort/prostitute and it went ok for me. The good thing about it is that at least you can have sex with a really hot woman this way whereas in real life it is obviously harder to get into a relationship with a very hot woman. 

I've been with several escorts and although it has mostly gone well I do have a few horror stories as well. In short with one woman I couldn't penetrate her (penis wouldn't fit in for some reason) and with one I came very very quickly as I hadn't masturbated for several days prior to the encounter. DON'T make that mistake as it is very embarassing! 

On the whole though it has gone well for me with escorts. The only thing I'll say is that as you don't know the person there can be a bit more anxiety as my SA is much worse with people I don't know very well. Once the action starts though this shouldn't be too much of a problem with performance. If you are worried about the conversation that goes with it then try and choose a foreign woman that doesn't speak much English. Worked for me.


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## JNathanK (Aug 5, 2012)

I'd wait on it.


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## Brad (Dec 27, 2011)

Something tells me that you're not going to feel much better after paying someone to have sex with you. I think you'd be better off getting out there and meeting someone and having a meaningful relationship.


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## Jollygoggles (Mar 3, 2011)

Nobody has ever regretted losing their virginity to an escort.

Except for about 98% of the people that lost their virginity to an escort.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

The only good outcome is that no longer will you feel the rush of embarrassment when people are talking about sex and you don't have a clue what they are on about.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

jimity said:


> The only good outcome is that no longer will you feel the rush of embarrassment when people are talking about sex and you don't have a clue what they are on about.


You can imagine...people with good imaginations fare better than those who have no imagination.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Amocholes said:


> It does if you actually read my 1st sentence.
> 
> Put a hole in a watermelon and go for it. You will have the same emotional attachment as you would with a hooker and it's a lot cheaper.
> 
> My problem was that I assumed you would want more than a quick ****. my mistake.


Dude - when is the last time you had sex?!?? The watermelon anology is totally ridiculous. Sex is a primal urge - emotional attachment is not necessary for satisfaction. Insects have sex - do you think they are feeling love??



Wall of Red said:


> I lost my virginity to an escort/prostitute and it went ok for me. The good thing about it is that at least you can have sex with a really hot woman this way whereas in real life it is obviously harder to get into a relationship with a very hot woman.
> 
> I've been with several escorts and although it has mostly gone well I do have a few horror stories as well. ...
> 
> On the whole though it has gone well for me with escorts. The only thing I'll say is that as you don't know the person there can be a bit more anxiety as my SA is much worse with people I don't know very well. Once the action starts though this shouldn't be too much of a problem with performance. If you are worried about the conversation that goes with it then try and choose a foreign woman that doesn't speak much English. Worked for me.


There. Thanks for letting people know. There is absolutely NO REASON you guys have to be torturing yourselves over sex and losing the v card. I suffered for a long time with it - but I had other major issues going on and the time just wasn't right until I was 39+.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

You are missing my point entirely. 

There is more to sex than just getting your penis wet.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Amocholes said:


> You are missing my point entirely.
> 
> There is more to sex than just getting your penis wet.


Of course. But how is being with an escort any different than having casual sex? Are you suggesting that all sex without emotional attachment is bad sex?


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Amocholes said:


> You are missing my point entirely.
> 
> There is more to sex than just getting your penis wet.


I understand your point -and I also understand that your point is wrong. Sex is a primitive biological act like defecating or urinating. If you don't do those things you feel BAD. There is no reason to torture yourself by holding off on satisfying those needs.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

scarpia said:


> I understand your point -and I also understand that your point is wrong. Sex is a primitive biological act like defecating or urinating. If you don't do those things you feel BAD. There is no reason to torture yourself by holding off on satisfying those needs.


It can be argued that masturbation can satisfy that biological urge. I'm actually so accustomed to masturbation that masturbation is the only thing that can get me off. Protected Coitus (I don't go bareback because I don't have a long-term girlfriend. I bought these condoms that are 40% thinner than standard Trojans to compensate for that) or bareback blowjobs (and I've been serviced by certified blowjob queens. So I know the issue is with how my body responds to sexual stimulation and how it's so used to one type of stimulation: my rigt hand) fail to get me off.

That said, there are psychological needs that are met with sex that you can't get from masturbation. And that's why I seek sex. I also seek relationships. But for much more than just sex naturally.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

phoenixwright said:


> Of course. But how is being with an escort any different than having casual sex? Are you suggesting that all sex without emotional attachment is bad sex?


I am saying that I am more interested in sex with an emotional aspect than in having sex for the sake of sex.



scarpia said:


> I understand your point -and I also understand that your point is wrong. Sex is a primitive biological act like defecating or urinating. If you don't do those things you feel BAD. There is no reason to torture yourself by holding off on satisfying those needs.


The purely physical urge can be handled easily enough. It does not require a partner. The emotional need however, does require one.


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## lettersnumbers (Apr 15, 2012)

Your only 21 and if you can go out and have sex with a complete stranger than you can talk to one and get to know a girl who will actually have mutual feelings for you. 
I don't understand what it is with people on this forum and loosing there virginity, that's all people seem to talk about on here.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Amocholes said:


> The purely physical urge can be handled easily enough. It does not require a partner. The emotional need however, does require one.


Not true. Sex is about procreation - that requires actually doing it with a partner. That is the reason masturbation is not as satisfying as the real thing.



phoenixwright said:


> It can be argued that masturbation can satisfy that biological urge.
> That said, there are psychological needs that are met with sex that you can't get from masturbation. And that's why I seek sex. I also seek relationships. But for much more than just sex naturally.


Yes - the psychological need to REPRODUCE. As long as you are having sex with a person that need is satisfied pretty well. Although eventually you will probably feel the actual need to have offspring.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

lettersnumbers said:


> Your only 21 and if you can go out and have sex with a complete stranger than you can talk to one and get to know a girl who will actually have mutual feelings for you.
> I don't understand what it is with people on this forum and loosing there virginity, that's all people seem to talk about on here.


Sex is not a scarce resource for females. So it's something that you will never be able to understand. Men with Social Anxiety Disorder in particular struggle to form and/or maintain relationships with members of the opposite sex because due to the nature of our disorder, it is hard to effectively communicate with and/or relate to members of the opposite sex. And men are expected to take on a more assertive role in courting and relationships. If you can't get into a relationship, that leaves casual sex as an option for obtaining sex. The casual sex market is very competitive for guys. Put yourself in a situation where you can't get a boyfriend and you can't get laid and get back to me on that.


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## Thinkerbell (Jul 8, 2012)

I honestly don't see why not. Plus she has sex for a living so I'm sure she'll be good at it haha.
As a woman, I probably won't lose my v-card to an escort. I've decided on a one night stand to the first male who gives me the time of day lol. If only I could go to a club :/



lettersnumbers said:


> Your only 21 and if you can go out and have sex with a complete stranger than you can talk to one and get to know a girl who will actually have mutual feelings for you.
> I don't understand what it is with people on this forum and loosing there virginity, that's all people seem to talk about on here.


We have needs, ok?:|


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## Thinkerbell (Jul 8, 2012)

phoenixwright said:


> Sex is not a scarce resource for females. So it's something that you will never be able to understand. Men with Social Anxiety Disorder in particular struggle to form and/or maintain relationships with members of the opposite sex because due to the nature of our disorder, it is hard to effectively communicate with and/or relate to members of the opposite sex. And men are expected to take on a more assertive role in courting and relationships. If you can't get into a relationship, that leaves casual sex as an option for obtaining sex. The casual sex market is very competitive for guys. Put yourself in a situation where you can't get a boyfriend and you can't get laid and get back to me on that.


*ahem* rule 1 of SAS: this is not a competition of who has it worse


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

scarpia said:


> Not true. Sex is about procreation - that requires actually doing it with a partner. That is the reason masturbation is not as satisfying as the real thing.
> 
> Yes - the psychological need to REPRODUCE. As long as you are having sex with a person that need is satisfied pretty well. Although eventually you will probably feel the actual need to have offspring.


Speak for yourself. I have never had the urge to procreate. How many kids do you have?


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Thinkerbell said:


> *ahem* rule 1 of SAS: this is not a competition of who has it worse


It's not a competition of who has it worse. But yes it is much more difficult for a guy to "get laid" than a girl. And relationships, it's still harder for men because men are mostly expected to take a more assertive role.


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## Thinkerbell (Jul 8, 2012)

phoenixwright said:


> It's not a competition of who has it worse. But yes it is much more difficult for a guy to "get laid" than a girl. And relationships, it's still harder for men because men are mostly expected to take a more assertive role.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Virginity, shmamitity. It's just sex. BUT! just be safe and not sorry!!


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## Keith (Aug 30, 2008)

I say go for it as long as it doesn't violate your own personal ethics.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Amocholes said:


> Speak for yourself. I have never had the urge to procreate. How many kids do you have?


None - but now I understand the urge to have them. I even feel the urge. I bet if I paid a hooker enogh money she's have my kid! How much do you think that would cost? $1 million? Probably more like $10 million.



phoenixwright said:


> It's not a competition of who has it worse. But yes it is much more difficult for a guy to "get laid" than a girl. And relationships, it's still harder for men because men are mostly expected to take a more assertive role.


Not with hookers in the equation. That's why they exist - to balance out the universe.


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## Amocholes (Nov 5, 2003)

I think we're just going to have to agree to disagree on this subject.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

phoenixwright said:


> It's not a competition of who has it worse. But yes it is much more difficult for a guy to "get laid" than a girl. And relationships, it's still harder for men because men are mostly expected to take a more assertive role.


Yeah we get it men have it worse with everything I guess. Men can be picky too and don't have to have sex with anything that moves. It's hard for me to maintain a relationship and keep one...just cause I have a vagina doesn't mean relationships become easy for me. Especially for a dude that you are really into and are attractive too. Guys have turned me down. We get rejected too. And no it doesn't mean a guy is gay...not every girl is a guys type. And there are plenty of women out there enjoying casual sex you just have to find the right one. Cause yeah we can be picky too.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

meganmila said:


> Yeah we get it men have it worse with everything I guess. Men can be picky too and don't have to have sex with anything that moves. It's hard for me to maintain a relationship and keep one...just cause I have a vagina doesn't mean relationships become easy for me. Especially for a dude that you are really into and are attractive too. Guys have turned me down. We get rejected too. And no it doesn't mean a guy is gay...not every girl is a guys type. And there are plenty of women out there enjoying casual sex you just have to find the right one. Cause yeah we can be picky too.


I never said they had it worse for everything. For "getting laid", it is much easier for SA females than SA males and this is also true for women in general versus men in general. The reason why we have this divide though goes back to women being a lot more selective than men. Men will lower their standards often times to embarrassing levels to get laid because men have a more primal urge for sex whereas women tend not to. For relationships, I do think it's a bit easier at the very least for women because playing the passive role can get a woman further than it can a man. I was on a date with a shy girl a week ago and we both shouldered the blame for not talking much. But I bet you she feels that I'm more responsible for the awkward silences because as "the man" I have to be more assertive and direct the conversation.

The point is not to bash women or downplay their struggle. But it's stupid to just ignore the difficulties that men face specifically. So I roll my eyes when a female can't sympathize with sexually frustrated SA males. They dont know what it's like. At one point I thought I would be a virgin forever. I understand what a guy goes through mentally in that state.

The OP is 21. He should be getting laid. So I say he should see an escort. But he should also work on putting himself out there socially, socializing with women, improving his social skills and start dating. The earlier the better. I still have a long way to go personally. I got too accustomed to hanging out and talking with the same people that when I find myself socializing in new mixed-gender groups, I have the tendency to fade away. And I suck at 1 on 1 dating conversation with girls from being out of practice. I have trouble relating to and connecting with women. Easily my number one relationship roadblock. And I'm not quite sure why I struggle relating to women. Even if I have no interest in the girl, I still struggle. If I relate to a girl, it's because I treat her like one of the guys.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

phoenixwright said:


> I never said they had it worse for everything. For "getting laid", it is much easier for SA females than SA males and this is also true for women in general versus men in general. The reason why we have this divide though goes back to women being a lot more selective than men. Men will lower their standards often times to embarrassing levels to get laid because men have a more primal urge for sex whereas women tend not to. For relationships, I do think it's a bit easier at the very least for women because playing the passive role can get a woman further than it can a man. I was on a date with a shy girl a week ago and we both shouldered the blame for not talking much. But I bet you she feels that I'm more responsible for the awkward silences because as "the man" I have to be more assertive and direct the conversation.
> 
> The point is not to bash women or downplay their struggle. But it's stupid to just ignore the difficulties that men face specifically. So I roll my eyes when a female can't sympathize with sexually frustrated SA males. They dont know what it's like. At one point I thought I would be a virgin forever. I understand what a guy goes through mentally in that state.
> 
> The OP is 21. He should be getting laid. So I say he should see an escort. But he should also work on putting himself out there socially, socializing with women, improving his social skills and start dating. The earlier the better. I still have a long way to go personally. I got too accustomed to hanging out and talking with the same people that when I find myself socializing in new mixed-gender groups, I have the tendency to fade away. And I suck at 1 on 1 dating conversation with girls from being out of practice. I have trouble relating to and connecting with women. Easily my number one relationship roadblock. And I'm not quite sure why I struggle relating to women. Even if I have no interest in the girl, I still struggle. If I relate to a girl, it's because I treat her like one of the guys.


sigh.....I'm too out of it to comment back. Do you think cause you don't connect well with women that's the problems getting into relationships for you?


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## forex (Dec 29, 2010)

here in amsterdam , you have a hotel started by a women(i think she was prostitute "by choice") that specialized on virgin men.

it's like a different process first you will know the women then 
do some other steps(forgot the steps) just too losen up and to get formiliar with your emotions en the womens body and at the end you'll have sex with her. 
they got alot of clients. the one ive seen he came from england.

end goal is the lose virginity but in a good way with some 
nice experience.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

forex said:


> here in amsterdam , you have a hotel started by a women(i think she was prostitute "by choice") that specialized on virgin men.
> 
> it's like a different process first you will know the women then
> do some other steps(forgot the steps) just too losen up and to get formiliar with your emotions en the womens body and at the end you'll have sex with her.
> ...


I remember Howard Stern had a woman on his show who specialized in devirginating guys. Maybe the OP could find a girl like that in an escort community forum.


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## Brad (Dec 27, 2011)

scarpia said:


> I remember Howard Stern had a woman on his show who specialized in devirginating guys. Maybe the OP could find a girl like that in an escort community forum.


Lol


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## Doomed (Jul 29, 2012)

You are going to pay to lose your virginity? That is pathetic. You have to live with that failure for the rest of your life.

Please reconsider. Go to an escort when you are 50+ and still a virgin. You are in your sexual prime, and with the way women give it away these days, you could have sex for free.


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## godhelpme2 (Apr 4, 2012)

i would wait a while longer at least before you do that. save it for someone who is worth it, not some loose ***** who uses her body for money  i know you might think there is no one out there but there really is. and it's sooo much better that way..


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## orbero (Jul 20, 2012)

Also don't take advice from women.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

Doomed said:


> You are going to pay to lose your virginity? That is pathetic. You have to live with that failure for the rest of your life.
> 
> Please reconsider. Go to an escort when you are 50+ and still a virgin. You are in your sexual prime, and with the way women give it away these days, you could have sex for free.


Lol, they only give it away to people they like. This man could be waiting a damn "lifetime" waiting for some girl just to "give" him some. Some of you people have "lost" it. I blame Disney films.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Doomed said:


> You are going to pay to lose your virginity? That is pathetic. You have to live with that failure for the rest of your life.
> 
> Please reconsider. Go to an escort when you are 50+ and still a virgin. You are in your sexual prime, and with the way women give it away these days, you could have sex for free.


 This is ridiculous advice. Suffer for the next 30 years before doing something about it!?? If the guy couldn't get sex in college then he needs to do something about it. College is the easiest place to get sex. It's only going to get harder.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Don't listen to these guys who say wait until you are 50. You are in your sexual prime. Enjoy the fun in your youth. Trust me. Bang some escorts. Especially if you are an attractive guy, it'll boost your confidence if you have sex with great escorts. My main issue has always been social. When you are power ****ing a hot woman that blows so many women who rejected you out of the water, it's like hell yea ****ing right. Don't use escorts as a crutch to replace dating. Use it to scratch that itch. The last time I had a bad date, I wasn't even upset. A big improvement over my reaction to the one before. At the end of the day I know I can get laid on demand with hot chicks so I figured "why should I care what some ***** thinks?" I should only care about seeking nice, friendly women and improve myself. We shouldn't care what the *****es think. Because they ain't ****.


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

MrProdigy said:


> I'm a 21 year old guy, recently graduated from University. I've never had a girlfriend or anything like that. For the past couple of months, I have been feeling very sexually frustrated. This is to the point where I cannot concentrate on other things. I was thinking about just hiring an escort for 30 mins to 1 hour and losing my virginity to her. What do you guys think about this?


Yeah just get it over with before it eats at you. Anythings better than being a male virgin. Not bc there's something wrong with virgin males, more because of the stigma and the way virginity truncates your social development


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

orbero said:


> Also don't take advice from women.


This


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Thinkerbell said:


>


Dear thinkerbell.

Getting laid is laughably easy for you. Want to know how to find out?

- Make a profile on a dating site. Message guys asking if they would like to hook up.
- ???
- Profit !!!


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## MrBakura91 (Dec 11, 2011)

Ive been thinking about doing this too. I feel like being a virgin is one of the biggest reasons why I have such low self esteem.


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## mrneonshuffle (Jul 13, 2012)

I was advised to lose my virginity to an escort just to get it over with, but there's some moral code in my brain that says I just can't. Even if I stay a virgin a while longer I want to lose it to someone I have real feelings for and I'm hoping now that I am combating my SA I can find that someone.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

phoenixwright said:


> I got too accustomed to hanging out and talking with the same people that when I find myself socializing in new mixed-gender groups, I have the tendency to fade away. And I suck at 1 on 1 dating conversation with girls from being out of practice. I have trouble relating to and connecting with women. Easily my number one relationship roadblock. And I'm not quite sure why I struggle relating to women. Even if I have no interest in the girl, I still struggle. If I relate to a girl, it's because I treat her like one of the guys.


I have trouble just being friends with women--I hardly see the point. So I think I'm of a similar mindset as you. Without that romantic/sexual component, I don't see much benefit in pursuing a platonic relationship with a woman.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

I can't imagine paying to lose my virginity....but I guess I'm not in quite that bad a situation. Maybe the romantic in me says to lose it to someone you have real feelings for. But if you were my age and a virgin, I could totally understand visiting a sex worker.


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

I agree about the college thing. There are just more opportunities. After that it dies down quite a bit, and personally I'm not a fan of dating co-workers. If **** goes sour it then follows you around everyday, and may even **** up one's reputation in the office.

To those considering losing their virginity to a hooker, think for a while about it, weigh the pros and cons, because once you do it there's no undo button, and that fact stays with you for the rest of your life.


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## Doomed (Jul 29, 2012)

mrneonshuffle said:


> I was advised to lose my virginity to an escort just to get it over with, but there's some moral code in my brain that says I just can't.


It's your self-respect.


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## successful (Mar 21, 2009)

30 minutes? You'll probably only need her for 10 seconds if you never did it, Unless your on alcohol or x.....


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

XxArmyofOnexX said:


> I agree about the college thing. There are just more opportunities. After that it dies down quite a bit, and personally I'm not a fan of dating co-workers. If **** goes sour it then follows you around everyday, and may even **** up one's reputation in the office.
> 
> To those considering losing their virginity to a hooker, think for a while about it, weigh the pros and cons, because once you do it there's no undo button, and that fact stays with you for the rest of your life.


 It's not a scar on my soul or anything. People make way too big a deal out of it.


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## XxArmyofOnexX (Aug 13, 2007)

^ My point was not about whether I consider it a big deal, just make sure its what is wanted. 100% Sorry if my post came off that way.


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

Chances are you'll find a proper girlfriend or someone up for just fun to have sex with the first time. But also your 20s and beyond could just turn into a sexual wasteland, with your hand as your only ever outlet.
It's tougher for males with SA, especially if you're not good looking and stuff. These things don't just fall on your lap.


It's your life, do what you want. If I was 21 again I'd probably get an escort.


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## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

I would say wait until you are at least 25. Seeing an escort to lose your virginity HAS to be a last resort. 

The vast majority of people who are virgins when they are in their early 20s are not virgins by 25. MANY MANY people who have never been kissed, never been on a date, never even held hands at 20 years old are in serious relationships or married by 25, 26.

I have heard many stories and see it first hand. So the "oh my god I'm a virgin and I'm 21" is a bit of an overreaction.

If you get to about 25/26 and you still never had a girlfriend/boyfriend, never been kissed, still a virgin... well I would not say you should see an escort, but you have at least entered into the age range where being a virgin (if it is not by choice) is very abnormal, thus I could support taking abnormal steps to fix this, or even the idea of "doing it to just say you did it."


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

successful said:


> 30 minutes? You'll probably only need her for 10 seconds if you never did it, Unless your on alcohol or x.....


Right or if you're not at all nervous and aren't on an SAS forum. Inability to get off is part of performance anxiety


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