# I'm so close to failing out of school



## sonya99 (Sep 5, 2005)

I can feel it. I dunno what happened these past two weeks, but i got into a bad habit of not studying enough and skipping school, and now i'm far behind. I feel stupid, everthing looks so hard. I hate going to school, it's so nerve-wracking and I'm so obviously anxious. One of my teachers knows about my SA issues because i started to cry when she asked me about why I never talk in class. I have another one that says i have to go to her office hours and get extra help because i'm "shy, so shy." 

Can't concentrate on any work. I do about 99% worrying, 1% work.

first semester: B average, second semester: C average, summer semester: withdrew from my only class, this semester: ? 

What's more, my problems are petty compared to the problems someone very close to me is having  I need to be strong.

Last week i started the process of finding a new therapist, and a psychitrist and i'm going on meds for the first time. but it's too late.

The school's gonna kick me out eventually, and I will have to go live at home. And i will be separated from my gf...so we would probably break up. 

I knew I could never get a degree from here...but I got through a couple of semesters. I just wanted to last as long as I could...

I know posting in a stupid forum isn't going to help me, I need to seriously buckle down. But it's the middle of the night and I'm desperate and utterly shameless  I'll take anything guys. Some cyber swift kicks in the butt, some empathy, some advice, reality checks, insults, anything. :rain


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## Eraserhead (Sep 23, 2006)

I think I can provide some sympathy. I'm in my third semester of university, and things aren't going so well. I aced my first two semesters, largely because I had an extreme fear of failure. That fear is gone now, replaced with numbness and occasional depression. I can't focus and I'm not motivated to work. I'm falling behind in my classes. But I just don't know what I'd do if I dropped out... it'd screw everything up.

I don't know what to tell you, except that I know how you feel. It's not that people with SA are lazy or incompetent, it's just that we have issues that make it hard for us to function normally. But you can't expect people to understand the subtleties of mental illness. People will inevitably judge.


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## Guest (Oct 5, 2006)

Well maybe you could use a break from school. You don't have to graduate in 4 years and a respite can really help you. Also, what is your major? I know in my classes I could be silent the whole semester and nobody would say a thing.


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## jjyiss (May 6, 2006)

yeah in my univsersity, u could take a hiatus from your courses lke indefinetely. there were some ppl who did that in my classes, they were in the middle of their 2nd year, and had some job oppoutunities, put their univ on hold, then came back 2 years later no prob


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## mserychic (Oct 2, 2004)

Don't compare yr probs to other folks. There's always gunna be someone worse off but that doesn't mean yr probs don't matter. We can start studying on weekends. I'm getting behind too so we can push each other to study. What's the college's policy on grades? I don't think it would be one bad semester and yr out. There's always time to make it up if you have a bad semester. Even if you decide to take a break or go back home I'll still be here. A what 8 hour drive is nothing


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## lyssado707 (Oct 29, 2004)

(((((((((((((((Sonya99)))))))))))))))) All I can say is work until you know you're at the point where you can't do it anymore. You'll know when you're there  Here's a :hug from someone else who never talks in class.


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## Kelly (Dec 12, 2003)

I flunked out of school. I transfered to another one and graduated from there.

Have you talked to an academic advisor at your school? Maybe they could work out a schedule to help you get back on track, by dropping some classes, taking different classes at the same time so you don't have too many classes that will stress your SA out to the max, etc. When I flunked out, I was too anxious to go see an academic advisor beforehand. After I flunked out and was trying to get back in, the first question they asked was "Did you see an advisor?"

Are you on academic probation? I was on academic probation first. If so, how many semesters does your school let you be on it before they say you can't come back? 

Have a nice day,
Kelly


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## Mork (Apr 11, 2005)

Hypatia brought up a good point. Academic advisors are there to help you out.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

That happened to me too. Taking a break didn't help. In fact, taking a break made things worse, and now it's harder than ever to get back on track. Sorry I don't have good advice. I'm trying to figure things out too.


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## solidusoul (Aug 17, 2006)

I know what you mean, I'm a bit troubled myself. I'm at a point I'm going to be transfering, and my current classes won't count to my new school. The only reason I'm even here is that I'll actually lose money by dropping out and I need to keep my financial aid so I need a C average and sray full time.

I withdrew from the hardest one, but my I can't focus in my other classes either (partly due to losing my glasses as well). I feel so far behind and stupid as well, but I have to do this. You should too. Get help from the teachers (thats what office hours are!), withdraw from a class to lighten the load, or even plan to transfer schools if you think it'll help. Just don't give up entirely!


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

Buckle down by turning off the computer and setting a strict study schedule for yourself. When I was in college, my study time every weekday was 6pm. When that time came, I stopped whatever it was that I was doing and went to study. It was the norm to study until 10pm. It wasn't fun, but that's what it took for me to make it through school.

Don't think ahead to the future, because it will just freak you out. Looking back on my college experience, I sometimes wonder how I ever made it. That's because I now know what I went through. But back then when I was actually doing it, I had no idea what the next week or the next semester would bring, and that was a good thing. The key is just taking it one day at a time.


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## sonya99 (Sep 5, 2005)

thanks everybody :group

my classes this semester: latin 1, chinese 1, english, and nutritional science

The only class i anticipated being difficult material-wise for me was english. Right now, I need to write a 5 page rough draft essay by tuesday, and I have no clue how i'm going to get through it. Every sentence I have to write is a challenge. It takes me an insane amount of time to write anything, especially for school. I still can't do even a five paragraph essay very well. Side's not having the smarts, I'm just incredibly anal about everything I write. It's scary for me.

The other classes are challenging, but they'd be passable if I'd just show up for class and make sure I study the material.

To clear up some things...

I'm not on academic probation yet. I haven't technically failed any classes. What's the college's policy?...bah, the site isn't working right now. I need to look at that sometime.

What's it going to take for me to get through this semester? hmmm. well, it's scary because a couple of my classes have strict attendance policies, and I'm almost out of absences I can use up. I'd have to have a written excuse after I use up all the days. I've missed a few assignments in classes that I can't make up, so I have to be really careful now about turning everything in, and it being the best work I can do. And boy, I need to put more time into school to catch up.

This week, I want to go to all my classes, and go visit with my teachers. I've never voluntarily visited a teacher outside of class. It would be good to review some course material with them. I want to know how bad off I am with them. I don't know how to broach the subject with them without it coming off bad. Well, I need to go, at least to get used to talking to teachers. They will probably remember me anyway because I'm such a sad case, and they might have some advice for me. 

I need to make sure I actually go to school. I'm thinking about asking my mom to give me wake up calls and stuff. Would be good to have some added pressure when I get all panicky and feel like not going.

I really don't think I can stay here. I can't compete. If I stay, next semester I should pick a major, or else I won't graduate in time. So, yea, i guess I'd better see an advisor. I'm tired of it all though. It's just pretend. I don't have the social skills to get even some minimum wage job. And i dont' honestly think that's going to change soon enough for me. My parents are disappointed I'm not taking any useful classes here, and that i dont' have a major, and that I only see one person outside of school. If I can't go here, I'm going to have to find some commity college so I can at least stay on my mom's health insurance. I really just want to find a way to stay in the bay area.

Ok, I have to wrap this up, I'm starting to ramble. Yea, things aren't looking quite as bleak now. But the last thing I want to do is start putting things off again. I've scared myself into wanting to push myself a little more. It's not just the SA holding me back. I think I'd still be able to pass things even if I act like a total spazz with people. If I avoid people at all costs but show up for class at least, I still have somewhat of a chance.


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## sh0x (Oct 9, 2006)

i can totally relate to doing bad in college. I recently finished my 3rd year and so far i've failed 7 courses. my GPA is a total embarrasment.


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## RedTulip (Nov 9, 2004)

Sonya99, don't give up. I know you want to and it's so much easier to give up. I would talk to the teachers. It seems they want to help you. Some teachers can be nice and helpful. 

I assume you are in school full time since you are taking 4 classes this semester? When you have that much homework, it can be overwhelming and adds to the anxiety we already feel. Also, pick a major. I find this useful because it will give you a plan of what classes you should be taking and ones to avoid.

Besides, you don't want to be 37 years old like me and still be going to college. Yes, I'm going for an Associates in Accounting. I have been going to school on and off for years. I could have had five associates degrees by now. Yes, it's hard but I think I am ready to finally keep presevering just to get that Associates. 

Here's a hug from me. :hug


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## Pixie_Child (Oct 24, 2006)

I can completely understand where you're coming from.

I'm 15 and live in England so I understand the State system is different to here but I'm in my last year of school. 

I had so many plans, I wanted to grow up, go to college, and university and then maybe be a special education teacher, or a child psychologist but I seldom go to school, I've given up because I feel I've failed and now it's too late to turn around, my teachers all predicted me A's and B's at the start of last year and y'all want to know something...? Did not happen, I'm now failing in almost every class and my grades are, well to put it lightly, crap! 

I won't go to college, nor to university but if there is one thing I will do and that's remember to smile each day even if I'm not what I wanted for myself. I have plans to go back to school next week and try my hardest to turn things around as let's face it, if I'm gunna finish school next year I might aswell go out with a bang and knowing that I've tried. 

Hope things work out for ya, Sony. You're in my thoughts. :kiss


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## sonya99 (Sep 5, 2005)

Thank you purpleice and Pixie_Child :squeeze :squeeze 

I'm applying for the disabled students program here. I've stopped going to my classes, but I have a chance of passing one. If i go through the whole process and all, I might be able to resume classes next semster, with reduced course load and a few other accomodations for my social anxiety. I might have to take medical leave so that would mean i would have to take the spring semester off. I'll just have to see what happens...


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## mismac (Oct 27, 2005)

sonya99 said:


> with reduced course load and a few other accomodations for my social anxiety


Good for you for getting help. And that sounds like an excellent plan with the reduce course load.

I'm in the same boat as you as well. All the stress and anxiety from this semester finally got me last week and I ended up dropping 3 of my classes. I just couldn't do it. I feel like a complete failure, but it was either drop the classes or destroy my GPA. At least now I know for sure I'm not meant to be a full-time student :stu


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## karmadust (Jul 21, 2005)

i'm glad you feel like you have a little more control over things now. something you might want to look into is taking online courses or seeing if your teachers will let you do their classes by correspondance (I did this by writing some extra papers and emailing regularly). most universities offer classes online, though you'll have the best selection if you're willing to do summer school, and that way you don't have to actually GO to a class, they're all done through forums like this one. though there are sometimes limits as to how many of these you can take total, even just a few could lighten your stress load. (I ended up taking all these bizarre classes that had nothing to do with my major simply because they were offered online and i needed a few more credits...and they ended up being pretty interesting, so you never know!).


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## lyssado707 (Oct 29, 2004)

sonya99 said:


> with reduced course load and a few other accomodations for my social anxiety.


Oooo what kind of "accomodations"? lol Any goodies like no presentations or being called on/singled out? That would be cool. Glad things are looking up for you!


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## samanthaStopSigns (May 3, 2010)

*urg*

im just a high school student and im falling almost all my classes, i worry alot about tests, or if i dont do a project or a homework asighnment i really worry what the teacherswill say or think of me that i just dont go at all or ditch the class, i try to avoid school and the hallways, i hate the hallways i feel that everyone looks at me i mean they probely do. i halfly put it on myself, im a really funky dresser. i feel really confused about that, i mean i dont want anyone to judge me but i do all these things to put myself out there. i dont get myself.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

samanthaStopSigns said:


> im just a high school student and im falling almost all my classes, i worry alot about tests, or if i dont do a project or a homework asighnment *i really worry what the teacherswill say or think of me* that* i just dont go at all or ditch the class*, i try to avoid school and the hallways, i hate the hallways *i feel that everyone looks at me* *i mean they probely do*. *i halfly put it on myself*, im a really funky dresser. i feel really confused about that, i mean* i dont want anyone to judge me but i do all these things to put myself out there*. i dont get myself.


I think deep down, you want the attention, but are afraid to get it.
People would say something if there was a problem (I have to remember how uncouth high school kids were :roll). I would be more worried about keeping up with your schoolwork. Have you asked your teachers for help, possibly with a parent assisting?


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