# Do you get nervous talking to people?



## nycdude

i started noticing that i started getting nervous talking to people when i started getting older in my late teens 15 and up. i sometimes get a little nervous talking to my OWN family members. last time i spoke to a random stranger on the street i just did not know what to say and felt like i was beening laughed from behind because of the way i said something but no one was really laughing. i just have these thoughts in my head everytime i finish talking to someone.


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## flip5071

i feel the exact same way, its bad, like you said, even with my family sometimes i get nervous


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## Mark02

Happens to me all the time, with anyone, including family. What helps sometimes is "investing" my thoughts in the other person and really listening to what they have to say. I try to stop caring about myself (_my_ anxiety, _my_ inadequacy) so much and try to care about the other person.


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## memoria

Yeah I get so nervous that I try to avoid conversing.


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## Neptunus

Yeah, I was getting better for while, but I've regressed.


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## heyJude

Yeah, usually to certain people I don't know. Sometimes cashiers or random strangers will try to strike up a conversation with me and my mind just goes blank, so I usually just nod and smile and try to figure out a way to get the heck away from them before I do or say something that'll really embarrass me.

For some reason, I stink at conversing with girls my own age. I never know what to say or what to talk about. I always feel like they have way more life experience than I have, so what is there to talk about. Which is the main reason why I have no female friends.


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## TheOutsider

heyJude said:


> Yeah, usually to certain people I don't know. Sometimes cashiers or random strangers will try to strike up a conversation with me and my mind just goes blank, so I usually just nod and smile and try to figure out a way to get the heck away from them before I do or say something that'll really embarrass me.
> 
> For some reason, I stink at conversing with girls my own age. I never know what to say or what to talk about. I always feel like they have way more life experience than I have, so what is there to talk about. Which is the main reason why I have no female friends.


Ditto


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## jacksmith

yes, but especially with extroverts or really happy people, you feel ****e because your not "UP" like them,..


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## xJoshx

Meeting new people most definitely nervous. Friends, not so much.
Though, cashier's and such, usually try to avoid much talk, sometimes if there is a mistake makes it even more annoying lol


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## OregonMommy

Today I started stuttering a lot when I was talking to people. I hope this is not a new tic of mine. Yes, I get nervous talking to any one except for a few people.


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## psychcharged

unless it's a psychiatric disorder it will get away with time


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## Lexie323

I feel the exact same way, I get MORE nervous around my family and especially my husbands family. It's awful.


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## sansd

Yes, of course, with everyone, including my mom and my friend/ex (I used to not usually get nervous with him, but I do again now).


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## flowingwater

That's why I'm here brah.


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## thatright

Yes but am doing a lot better now than I used to be. Stayed at home for over seven months and it caused me to feel socially anxious around others. When I started voluntary work, my social skills were poor. Really nervous around people but it's getting a lot better now.


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## pjb77

I don't get it. If SA is NOT getting nervous around people then what do people consider SA to be? Difficulty with public speaking? This topic makes no sense. I always thought if you had SA you HAD to be nervous around people and talking to them.


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## crystaltears

yes


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## northstar1991

I get nervous talking to people too, with both my family and especially around strangers.


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## jc36273

I used to be the same way but you just have to think like this "**** everyone else". Not **** them as in dont give a **** about them but just forget about everyone and their opinions on you. What makes someone any better than you that you should feel insecure around them? We're all equal so no worries, just don't over think so much and just live in the moment and you won't get so nervous when someone talks to you, relax.


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## ApathyDivine

I get nervous talking to anyone not living in my house


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## visualkeirockstar

Yes sometimes.


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## Tania I

Nervous when they're not a stranger anymore.


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## harrycarrybigfoot

I hate talking to people. I feel like there are expectations placed upon me in a conversation and I can never live up to them.


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## Anonimus95

It's unbelievable! Most things most people have posted in here is like if they took it of from my mind, especially the one who said "**** with everyone else"(thinking that have helped me SOMETIMES)... However, the thing that most annoys me is no only the internal sensation the thing is i feel like if get blush so people can easily see my nerviosism, if it would be only the internal sensation I could just pretend it doesn't exist.


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## FeelNothing

All the time. With guys I might be able to handle it but talking to girls without showing signs of nervousness is impossible for me.


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## steven131603

*Same feeling!*

It is like bite in my heart when i get nervous while talking with someone strange. I know maybe i just being paranoid but it becomes harder for me to get rid of those things while i keep telling myself not to do so. Sometimes, i got too nervous to talk and the muscle of my face tensed. Well, i still confuse about this right now but what i can tell you is that you are NOT alone.


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## JRB7793

Yes and sometimes I feel violent toward them. Like I don't trust them. Panic, fear, and anxiety.


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## Divine Fox

Yeah, I find it complicated to talk to others quite often. It annoys me and when I'm expected to answer someone, I don't reply with my thoughts but instead tell them what I think they want to hear. I can't even make eye contact and when I want to say something to someone, I have to re-phrase what I'm going to say in my head too many times to count before I actually say it just to ensure that I make sense. I only feel comfortable talking when it involves the keyboard or the phone (texting) because when I try to say the words, I just freeze because I'm not sure how to get my words out. But yeah I know how you feel, apart from the fact that I'm able to speak fine with my family and close friends. I hope it gets better for you though. :yes


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## HelpfulHero

This forum is very strange to me. I used to consider myself an introvert and I had really bad fear of others ridiculing me especially women if I would go talk to them. In fact once just walking from the dorms to class I had an anxiety attack. There was a lot of stuff going on in my life at the time as well. I don't mean to disparage anyone's beliefs, but for me being very religious made the problem much worse. I was ashamed of my sexuality because I believed it was wrong to masturbate and I didn't make friends because I didn't want to be "corrupted" by them. This became very bad and eventually I fell into a very deep almost suicidal depression. This eventually caused me to drop out of school. Because I felt god had abandoned me I became an atheist. I began working a very physically active job, but I was still very much "in my head" and it was hard for me to perform to the standard of my coworkers. Around this time I had my first real girlfriend. However, she was very depressed as well and vicious because she had been raped (I didn't know it at the time). Eventually she tried to attack me and I ended the relationship. My struggles with women led me to alcohol, clubbing, and pick up artist tricks, etc. As I began sleeping with a lot of women I became much more confident, outgoing, and extroverted. Over time this led me to some very dark places. Now, I quit my physically demanding job because I was miserable there and it was part of what was destroying my soul. I'm attempting to go back to school to become a computer engineer because my first love has always been the mind and intellectual pursuits. I am not shy at all. I do not get nervous. When I am in "extraverted" mode most would consider me gregarious, charming, and perhaps a bit aggeessive. I am even applying for work at a gay bar as a bartender to make more money working less hours while in school because even though I am not gay, I am comfortable interacting with people of all types in spite of my previous (very rigid and dogmatic) beliefs. I'm sharing all of this because perhaps just hearing my story would be a comfort because I don't believe extraverts have magic powers. While I would not wish my past on anyone because I became an alcogolic and got a dui, was kicked out of my apartment, had trouble keeping a job, etc (those are not nearly the worst things, but I do not feel comfortable sharing the rest with strangers) I definitely have no problems with SA. I am beginning to let go of my sense of shame and open up to life and just be happy. I even hope to start my own company one day and work on software and other products to change the world for the better. What I would say helped me the most was therapy/psychology, meditation, my friends, and reading books on self-improvement like how to read other people's gestures, how to dress better, how to act (and in so doing become) more confident, how to work out to become more fit, proper nutrition and sleep techniques, etc. Please avoid drugs/alcohol and partying if you are prone to addiction it really took my life in the wrong direction although I will say marijuana did wonders for me (sativa) but I believe you should only "experiment" lightly 1-5 times after the age of at least 22 because smoking before the age of 18 especially can permanently have an effect on iq. As other posters familiar with buddhism have said, it is generally best not to seek fulfillment in external factors, true peace only comes from within your own mind.


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## Kalliber

yeah.. ):


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## Farideh

Depends on who that person is and not if I take my 5 hour energy drink. For some weird reason, that drink seems to take away my anxiety.


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## CopadoMexicano

Im always nervous


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## mzmz

flowingwater said:


> That's why I'm here brah.


^



pjb77 said:


> I don't get it. If SA is NOT getting nervous around people then what do people consider SA to be? Difficulty with public speaking? This topic makes no sense. I always thought if you had SA you HAD to be nervous around people and talking to them.


^



harrycarrybigfoot said:


> I hate talking to people. I feel like there are expectations placed upon me in a conversation and I can never live up to them.


^ I can never live up to anyone's expectations



Paloma M said:


> Depends on who that person is and not if I take my 5 hour energy drink. For some weird reason, that drink seems to take away my anxiety.


^ really? I need to go out and buy some Immediately


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## Farideh

mzmz said:


> ^
> 
> ^
> 
> ^ I can never live up to anyone's expectations
> 
> ^ really? I need to go out and buy some Immediately


Please don't. It's a dangerous beverage. I've only tried it like two times and then I've decided to not even try it again.


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## Steinerz

Isn't this "social anxiety support . com?" 

Yup I get nervous talking to people.


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## reese27

I also get really nervous when talking to strangers and certain members of my family. I avoid social situations unless necessary. I am taking college courses on campus and I am dreading the forced conversations. I feel like people are judging me all of the time and it's very difficult for me to make new friends/associates.


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## inerameia

I get very nervous. It's embarrassing how I interact with people. I'm so awkward. I need alcohol or benzos to feel somewhat relaxed talking to people.


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## hickool

Yep i do. Small talk is too hard for me. I always try to avoid asking for directions. I don't like reception desks. I hardly ever talk to strangers. Makes life awfully difficult.


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## Eskimo23

Lol I want to believe that there is nothing wrong with me but I really stink at talking with other people, while going out, I dont want to see anybody that I knew as it will end up akward, at school I feel like I give loner aura to anyone as they do not talk to me and avoid conversing w/ me as I do not really talk alot or just answer yes and I would not add to prolong the conversation bcos I feel nervous and my mind got blank, though most of the time I prefer that bcos I know it is really going to be awkward conversation and I feel like we do not have much to talk about except the usual greetings, I also do not know/or cant end a conversation w/o being awkward or nervous, but sometimes I also want to talk to them but I do not know what to say or sometimes when they talking even I knew the topic and I want to be involve but I cannot join in and ended up regretting and thinking (I also overthink what I've done, especially if I feel like it was embarrassing) of the topic that I was suppose to add, also like most of the post, dont like till, reception, or anything that involve talking/questioning and waiting. This and other factors, makes my life difficult as I find it hard (nervous to apply, nervous that it involves lots of talking especially when they include in the requirements, good communication and team player blabla) to find a job and become friend with anyone, so far since 3years of staying here, I only gain at least 2 that I consider friend lol. blablabla


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## Elisa littleboat

All the time. I not only can't handle small talk but I get angry if I need to chat about trivial things. The things people find funny are mostly boring for me... whenever they make a simple joke I can't response. Sometimes I'm unable to say a word. It is embarassing and tiresome. 

I think I look very unfriendly at times, however I'm not. And when I'm finally alone in my peace, I can't stop thinking about these awkward situations, and I spend the weekend in anxiety, thinking about what they said, what they might think, what I should have answered, and what will they come up with next time. 

I started to work a month ago after two years of complete solitude, and my boss is an incredibly intimidating person. I have a hard time coping with her. I always wish if only my coworkers would just ignore my existence, but when that happens, I have all kind of dark thoughts about how they are judging me behind my back. And when they try to come and talk to me, I withdraw myself. 

I'm only able to go to work if I tell myself to absolutely ignore everything. And that's not easy.


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