# Can't connect with anyone



## C4lP0ly (Sep 21, 2014)

Ever since I was 16 in high school and a good chunk of my high school friends moved on to college, I have become increasingly disconnected from my friends, peers and generally everyone.

Its just so difficult for me to maintain a friendship, or a connection of any kind, with a person. I listen to what they have to say, make small talk and such formalities, but our conversations never get into the depth of what I consider to be the conversations of true friends. 

Additionally, I often try to make plans with people, even those that I rarely talk to. I feel it is necessary because I get incredibly lonely and I need to attempt to connect to someone. But never in the past 3 years have I felt compelled to call the same person up to do something again. I just don't feel any emotions; empathy, joy, sorrow or mirth, when I am talking to or around people. A common ground is never found.

It also makes me sad that I have virtually no libidinal drives. I haven't masturbated in months; I only do it because I know it probably is not the best for my health to completely refrain. Girls don't interest me anymore and I couldn't care less about connecting with the opposite sex. I used to have a girlfriend in 8-9 grade and we were pretty passionate emotionally for how young we were. I want to reignite my desire to connect and be with people , but all my kindling is wet and un ignitable.

I'm in my 2nd week of college now, and I'm feeling the exact same feelings. I thought a change of scenery, fresh faces and a blank slate would help cure this problem, but its something that is wrong with me.

Sorry for the long post. If anyone has any experience with this or advice it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.


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## Mercedes C (Sep 27, 2014)

I know how you feel. I hear people say that in order to become real friends you need to "open up" and connect on a "deeper" level. I don't even know what that means. So sorry I guess I don't have any real advice, but I think it might come down to mood/depression. I think the only few times I've felt connected to people in the past while is if I've been in an inordinately good mood.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

Ive never been open about anything with my friends eventhough ive been chatting with them for at least fifteen to twenty years. I dont consider it true friendship but partly being my fault because I always or most of the time come up with excuses not to do things. I fear that if I lose the friends I have now I wont have any friends period.


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## showie (May 18, 2013)

Sometimes I feel the same way. You don't know why people aren't immediately attracted to you, whether it's your friends, co-workers, etc and you begin to take it personally. I truly think the reason we can't connect with others is because we can't connect with ourselves emotionally. Ask yourself: do I really like the person I am? If you have trouble answering the question, it just means that you haven't had the time to really experience the things you like anymore. Maybe you just need time for yourself, and the disconnection from others right now will give you the time to start.


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