# Adding Coworkers as friends on Facebook?



## jesse93 (Jun 10, 2012)

So, for those of you who have a facebook, and have a job, do any of you have trouble adding your coworkers on facebook?

My story is, one of my coworkers was talking to me on friday, and we talked for a while, she then opened her facebook app in front of me, searched my name and sent me a friend request saying "now you just have to accept it and we can be bestest of friends!" Of course she was joking, but the thing is right when she found me on facebook I was dreading it, my facebook contains only online friends really, some people I use to talk to from high school, but don't anymore and just have them added. Now that really isn't the problem with me, the problem is, I have made status's that may not be appropriate in the eyes of my coworkers, so I feel like I have to go through and delete all of these status's simply to add my coworker, part of me doesn't want to add her, but I can't simply decline it, or ignore it and never accept, because she will bring it up whenever I see her next plus the fact I have not even one single facebook photo of myself :blank

Am I the only one who gets anxious over something dumb like this? :sus


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## woovor (Apr 13, 2014)

Haha, that is one big reason why I don't have a personal facebook account. I don't want my family or especially my mom's friends to know my personal life. I say just delete the status updates so you won't stress about it anymore. This probably won't be the last time a co-worker wants to add you.


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## jesse93 (Jun 10, 2012)

woovor said:


> Haha, that is one big reason why I don't have a personal facebook account. I don't want my family or especially my mom's friends to know my personal life. I say just delete the status updates so you won't stress about it anymore. This probably won't be the last time a co-worker wants to add you.


Yea I guess you're right, guess I'm going to have to go on a deleting spree here soon.



failoutboy said:


> What kind of statuses?


It's nothing super bad or anything, I don't really know how to explain them, my humor could be looked at as weird though by some people, which worries me because I hardly know my coworkers on a personal level. I even made a status about a super awkward experience I had with some of my other coworkers, guess I'll have to delete all of that if I do add her.


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## haggybear (Apr 9, 2014)

Yup I have a facebook but I never say crap on it. If anything I'll make a comment on something jokingly. Other than that I just use it to actually chat and check up on any possible social events.

I agree that your best bet is to do away with all of your old posts. Not sure how you should go about the rest of your posting habits. It would kind of suck to not express yourself the way you want to. Plus photos suck. Most photos that I have of me that I didn't take myself usually involve me drunk, which sucks. Not many people take random photos of me. All the while people are taking selfies while driving just for the sake of it. Ugh...


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## tim78 (Nov 2, 2008)

I have my security settings on private, so people really can't see my profile. People at work obviously don't give a crap about me because they've never tried to add me on facebook. People at work don't even have my cell phone number.


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## masterridley (Jan 20, 2007)

jesse93 said:


> It's nothing super bad or anything, I don't really know how to explain them, my humor could be looked at as weird though by some people, which worries me because I hardly know my coworkers on a personal level. I even made a status about a super awkward experience I had with some of my other coworkers, guess I'll have to delete all of that if I do add her.


Don't. This is exactly the opposite of the healthy response in this situation.

You're preparing to go into flight mode again. Adding her when you've really scrubbed all your personality away does not really count as exposure.

You will feel very intense anxiety but then you will feel better. Trust me. Be strong and add her like this.


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## jesse93 (Jun 10, 2012)

haggybear said:


> Yup I have a facebook but I never say crap on it. If anything I'll make a comment on something jokingly. Other than that I just use it to actually chat and check up on any possible social events.
> Yea, I just post my humor on there from time to time, because the internet friends I have added enjoy my sense of humor, but most of the time I don't post anything, I just use facebook as something to look at when I'm bored, and to talk to my friends I have added.
> 
> I agree that your best bet is to do away with all of your old posts. Not sure how you should go about the rest of your posting habits. It would kind of suck to not express yourself the way you want to. Plus photos suck. Most photos that I have of me that I didn't take myself usually involve me drunk, which sucks. Not many people take random photos of me. All the while people are taking selfies while driving just for the sake of it. Ugh...


Yea, I ended up deleting the statuses and adding her, it made me feel crappy that I had to do that just so I could feel "accepted" but oh well. I am not photogenic at all, I don't even like looking at myself in the mirror most of the time, so putting a selfie on facebook probably won't happen anytime soon.



tim78 said:


> I have my security settings on private, so people really can't see my profile. People at work obviously don't give a crap about me because they've never tried to add me on facebook. People at work don't even have my cell phone number.


Don't worry buddy, I'm in the same boat, only one of my coworkers cared to add me on facebook. I've also got no coworkers phone numbers, so you're not alone on that one. I don't expect to get any of their phone numbers ever, either.



masterridley said:


> Don't. This is exactly the opposite of the healthy response in this situation.
> 
> You're preparing to go into flight mode again. Adding her when you've really scrubbed all your personality away does not really count as exposure.
> 
> You will feel very intense anxiety but then you will feel better. Trust me. Be strong and add her like this.


I wish I would've read this before I added her, I already ended up deleting the statuses and accepting her request, now that I have her added I don't even wanna post anything on my facebook, sigh :blank I just don't want to be judged, because my coworkers are in this very big "Clique" and I'm pretty sure they'd talk about it if I posted something bizarre. Oh well, I think she could honestly care less.

Thanks for all the advice though guys, I appreciate it.


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## masterridley (Jan 20, 2007)

jesse93 said:


> I wish I would've read this before I added her, I already ended up deleting the statuses and accepting her request, now that I have her added I don't even wanna post anything on my facebook, sigh :blank I just don't want to be judged, because my coworkers are in this very big "Clique" and I'm pretty sure they'd talk about it if I posted something bizarre. Oh well, I think she could honestly care less.


Define bizarre.


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## jesse93 (Jun 10, 2012)

masterridley said:


> Define bizarre.


I can't really define bizarre. The best way to put it, is my humor is "R" rated.


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## masterridley (Jan 20, 2007)

You can't suppress yourself. Then, you ensure that no one will like you. I don't know. I can't tell you how to live your life other than that people respect whoever is comfortable enough to not care about their reactions. In fact, they're more probable to talk about you if you post muted stuff than post your own real opinions.


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## H8PPLNDGS (Mar 15, 2013)

I would just have separate FB accounts. I don't like it anymore because it feels like a glorified resume or something of sorts.


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## QuitSweatinMe (Aug 24, 2013)

I recently re-activated my FB account to try to face some of my anxiety. I started adding co-workers and deleted it a little after because I was too lazy to censor my FB account. I truly believe work should stay seperate from personal life, but this is someone with anxiety/depression saying that  It's not just you who feels that way about adding co-workers. I even had a co-worker make a big deal about ppl posting inappropriate things on FB and being unprofessional with their statuses


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## lunarc (Feb 25, 2014)

You can do a mass of hide past activity on your settings.

Settings > Privacy > Limit Past Posts


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## jesse93 (Jun 10, 2012)

QuitSweatinMe said:


> I recently re-activated my FB account to try to face some of my anxiety. I started adding co-workers and deleted it a little after because I was too lazy to censor my FB account. I truly believe work should stay seperate from personal life, but this is someone with anxiety/depression saying that  It's not just you who feels that way about adding co-workers. I even had a co-worker make a big deal about ppl posting inappropriate things on FB and being unprofessional with their statuses


Yea, you're right. I'm glad I haven't had any other coworkers try to add me, I really don't want to make my facebook "professional" that's not what facebook is for me. It's been a few weeks since I've added her, and I haven't posted anything, don't want to be judged, sigh. :blank


lunarc said:


> You can do a mass of hide past activity on your settings.
> 
> Settings > Privacy > Limit Past Posts


Wow thanks for that man, that helps a lot you are a god among men :clap


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