# How to make therapy work for you.



## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

Self-disclose your entire experience on whatever the disturbance is you have.

Do not squelch, repress, suppress, and/or undermine your thoughts. All of your thoughts that you have in your head at that moment needs to come out of your mouth. All of those raw naked thoughts whether they are really private to you, whether they are obnoxious, whether are anything, you disclose that, your whole entire experience to your therapist. 

Once you do that, then the next step is processing meaning think with your therapist about these thoughts and feelings, think, discuss, self disclose more. 

Therapy is magic in this regard. Therapy is an interpersonal dynamic and play. There's exchanges going on related to reinterpreting your experience. And that what therapy is really, for the client to reinterpret their experience. 

Say like on this forum, you disclose a concern, then another poster looks in their eyes a different interpretation of your dilemma. Once you understand a different more truth interpretation of your experience from them, the "disturbance" is gone. This is just like therapy, only the therapist is more "trained" in systematically helping you to reinterpret your experience.

Some "B.S." therapist which perhaps some of your experience, don't know how to reinterpret client's experiences instead giving a simple fast unempathetic (sp?) injection of insight. But of course those approaches don't see the experience under the client's eyes, which makes them "B.S." therapists. 

I believe any neurotic disturbance even Social Anxiety can be cured one hundred per cent effectively through this interpersonal exchange of client to therapist and to therapist to client. 

If you try that out in being really self disclosing and not undermining, repressing, etc., really discussing your symptoms with someone, that therapist who is authentic, caring, "skilled in understanding your own experience from your eyes and shoes and soul" and letting you come to know an honest interpretation of your experience, so you are no longer disturbed about a symptom.

And that's what therapy really is. There is no magic other than this magic.


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## User (Mar 20, 2004)

This is a good post. I'll have to remember all of this because I'm going to see a new therapist tomorrow :hide (well, it's not as bad as the emoticon would lead you to believe :lol ).


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## emeraldoceans (Sep 13, 2006)

Good point Gerard. My therapist asks me to write down in between sessions all my thoughts that relate to any anxiety that i feel. I find this very hard to do, often leaving out the most valuable of info that i feel i should be telling her. I feel embarrassed writing out my thoughts and actually cringe while doing so. Later on i will sometimes rewrite them and leave some of the most crucial ones out. I understand that i have to be completely honest about my thoughts in order to benefit from therapy but yeah this is something that i struggle with alot.


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## sunmoonstars76 (Aug 19, 2006)

When can you go to far with conveying every thought though? Like, are there some things that you should hold back on? Like sometimes, in therapy, I view some thoughts as being totally irrelevant. But those thoughts come up anyway, so should I disclose them, despite the fact that I don't think they are relevant to what causes my social anxiety?


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

User said:


> This is a good post. I'll have to remember all of this because I'm going to see a new therapist tomorrow :hide (well, it's not as bad as the emoticon would lead you to believe :lol ).


I hope it was well. And you tried my suggestion.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

emeraldoceans said:


> Good point Gerard. My therapist asks me to write down in between sessions all my thoughts that relate to any anxiety that i feel. I find this very hard to do, often leaving out the most valuable of info that i feel i should be telling her. I feel embarrassed writing out my thoughts and actually cringe while doing so. Later on i will sometimes rewrite them and leave some of the most crucial ones out. I understand that i have to be completely honest about my thoughts in order to benefit from therapy but yeah this is something that i struggle with alot.


Exactly, that's what you really need to do.

Once you do that, you will really tremedulously (sp?) benefit from therapy. The therapist is with you and for you. The therapist has to hold confidentiality for it's their job. The therapist will never know your experience unless you tell that person what your 'real' experience is. They can not help you unless what 'really is going on.' Once you do that and share that with her, a whole different experience will happen. You will feel a big relief. And once you start 'honestly' discussing about your experience, I guarantee your whole experience will indeed change for you. I guarantee you this 100 per cent. If your therapist is caring, they will still be caring. It's their job. Remember, the therapist is not their to judge you or anything negative like that. They are their for you, for your growth and development. Studying Psychology, working on myself in therapy, and practicing basic counseling skills to seniors to be a therapist myself, I know for a fact, this is what therapy is really about.

About disclosing your experience as you uniquely experience it and processing it so that your symptoms will no longer be with you.

That's the basic definition of "what is therapy?"


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

sunmoonstars76 said:


> When can you go to far with conveying every thought though? Like, are there some things that you should hold back on? Like sometimes, in therapy, I view some thoughts as being totally irrelevant. But those thoughts come up anyway, so should I disclose them, despite the fact that I don't think they are relevant to what causes my social anxiety?


I don't really understand the context. It might be relevant or not. But if the discussion is linked to your experience then I think it is.


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## endtroducing (Jan 6, 2008)

sunmoonstars76 said:


> When can you go to far with conveying every thought though? Like, are there some things that you should hold back on? Like sometimes, in therapy, I view some thoughts as being totally irrelevant. But those thoughts come up anyway, so should I disclose them, despite the fact that I don't think they are relevant to what causes my social anxiety?


All of your thoughts are important, whether or not you view them that way. All of the thoughts in your mind are there for a reason, and they might or might not be related to social anxiety. But you won't know unless you confront them. In order to overcome a lot of problems, you just have to face them, no matter how fearful or uncomfortable or insignificant it makes you feel. Hope this helps.


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