# My mind is my worst enemy



## oBSama (Mar 1, 2009)

i have learned to be a severe social anxiety candidate by exhibiting my otherwise invisible essential tremor to its full in fronthe company of my best friends especially when holding a cup of tea. i have become a complicated case because of the following.
i have learned, gained, achieved this anxiety behaviour myself. my own mind drags me there. i want to punish my mind for it
i was, am, otherwise perfectly normal, so society, friends and parents dont expect me to withdraw socially
i have suddenly fallen into the pit
i have tremors only in the presence of those who already have witnessed my anxiety at some point, as if they are looking for it and going to rejoice my sufferings
strangely i behave quite confidently in front of those who dont know me at all
i want to physically punish my mind as it drags me there
my SAD is secondary to essential tremors 
my ET has started infecting my other parts now, after hands, i have learned to concentrate on my head and shake it 
what talent i had and what i am going to do in my life now because of this otherwise trivial matter 
JUST IMAGINE, What if i we had no anxiety and were normal like other people, our attention would have been somewhere else. By now we should have been somewhere in the middle of the ocean with other people but we find ourselves on the shore and our boat tied with a rope.


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## Ambitious (Apr 17, 2011)

But being on a boat in the ocean can be fun at times...you just have to allow yourself to enjoy the good times and focus on the good in your life. 

I relate to you mind being your worst enemy, so do most, if not all here...but hats happening is your mind is fighting ith you. You have to be aware of the fight and fight back.

Full you mind with all the positives in your life - keep a track everyday of the good things that happened. The fight is between you concious and unconcious...fill it with good to eliminate the bad. Easier said then done but do it and keep at it and you will feel differently.

BTW, you posted this in trimuphs over SA..i think you got confused, but thats ok, i am here and i feel people with positive stuff but i cant do it all for you. The hard works comes from within you...


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## jer (Jun 16, 2009)

Hi obSama,

I see you are in Kashmir.
are you sure none of your issues are caused by PTSD. 

I read that there is a lot of psychological issues in the civilian population in Kashmir due to the violence. and most of the issues go unreported because of stigma.

I am originally from India and I feel sad for what is happening in Kashmir. The geography of kashmir is one of the most beautiful and so are the people of kashmir.

Hang in there bro.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

oBSama said:


> i have learned to be a severe social anxiety candidate by exhibiting my otherwise invisible essential tremor to its full in fronthe company of my best friends especially when holding a cup of tea. i have become a complicated case because of the following.
> i have learned, gained, achieved this anxiety behaviour myself. my own mind drags me there. i want to punish my mind for it
> i was, am, otherwise perfectly normal, so society, friends and parents dont expect me to withdraw socially
> i have suddenly fallen into the pit
> ...


Well, for starters, first realizing that your mind can be your worst enemy is a huge step. A lot of people blame other people for their mistakes or reasoning. Then you have those who blame chemical imbalances for their thoughts. I believe by far that most people have much more power over their own thoughts and attitude then they may realize, and this is where taking responsibility comes in. Of course, it takes time and persistence but I believe most people here are capable of overcoming it.

Like most things though, you'll need a plan to follow or goals to aim for. If you don't know where to start with your goals then research or ask people or, what I did, just jump right into what your afraid of and you'll know what you'll need to work on as soon as your experience that fear, trust me. So when you feel that fear you should obviously ask yourself why you feel that way and then think of positive things you could try or do that would help you learn more about yourself in a positive light, but you must take action in most instances. Your actions can persuade your overall attitude on life, and attitude is everything.

It is useless for those people who don't set plans or goals when they go into something they want to accomplish. How can you accomplish something if you don't know what your trying to accomplish or if you don't know how to get there? Take my friend for instance: he goes to the gym but has no goals or good idea of how to add muscle or work out properly. He will go and he will work out the same muscle without a routine, plan or adding any weights in the future. In other words, he goes and doesn't challenge his muscles to grow by training them properly with more weights or an adequate regimen. Ironically, most goals in life work this way, and so does your mental health. You can't expect to get anywhere unless you work it out and challenge the very thing your afraid or ignorant of. I think it was Einstein would said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results! You can't expect to grow more muscle or become stronger without challenging them, and you can't expect to change your mental health by not challenging them either. It's really that simple and straightforward.

For a lot of people their minds are their worst enemy, I agree.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

Fighting against the mind is a road to not really doing anything at all.

Look at the metaphors used in the original post. Where the mind hinders, it also shows you how to release yourself from the problem.


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## Ambitious (Apr 17, 2011)

joinmartin said:


> Fighting against the mind is a road to not really doing anything at all.


Can you elaborate please?


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

Ambitious said:


> Can you elaborate please?


Sure. If someone has a conflict going on inside them, why create another one with the mind? The mind has huge amounts of resources within it that can be used to create positive change. Treat it as the enemy and you lose access to those resources. Because they become things in enemy territory.

There are various models of the mind and all are pretty much metaphors. But the conscious part of the mind is weak when standing against the rest of the mind. The conscious mind can remember limited amounts of information. The rest of your mind has all of your memories even if you're not aware of them at any given moment.

Work on thoughts, habits? Sure. But with the mind not against it. If you make an enemy of yourself you end up fighting and stopping yourself. You assume that some part of you has the power to mess things up for you and don't move towards change as a whole person.

If you have a conflict with a loved one, do you resolve it by treating the loved one as an enemy? By fighting against them?


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## Ambitious (Apr 17, 2011)

joinmartin said:


> Sure. If someone has a conflict going on inside them, why create another one with the mind? The mind has huge amounts of resources within it that can be used to create positive change. Treat it as the enemy and you lose access to those resources. Because they become things in enemy territory.
> 
> There are various models of the mind and all are pretty much metaphors. But the conscious part of the mind is weak when standing against the rest of the mind. The conscious mind can remember limited amounts of information. The rest of your mind has all of your memories even if you're not aware of them at any given moment.
> 
> ...


Ooooh well said!

That gives me some extra understanding to the mental re-hearsal technique i am using for worry. Its not to fight it, its to work with the worry and change the final outcome of the original worrying thought.

:thanks


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## oBSama (Mar 1, 2009)

jer said:


> Hi obSama,
> 
> I see you are in Kashmir.
> are you sure none of your issues are caused by PTSD.
> ...


but PTSD if there was wont give me tremors and SAD, if at all i would relate my SAD to geography i.e in kashmir we have nonsensical, outgoing and overtly social people, that doesnt help, secondly we are backward and seeing SAD as a rational disorderhere is far way off. 
The real problem with me is that my SAD is secondary to my tremors and i know how it feels to be normal and socializing, so if only i hadnt these tremors i am already there with normal people, so it is frustrating, these tremors would harm me on the long run. so its like A KINGDOM WAS LOST FOR WANT OF A NAIL. 
another irony is
When in my adolesence my essential tremor was high but i was unconcerned and i had my natural personality intact, i wouldnt exhibit any obvious shaking in groups
but now medically my tremors have been solved as i aged a bit, but in the meantime i lost my personality, i got conscious of my tremors, i am not natural anymore, i shake shake shake.
there was a time when they used to call me absent-minded and i would get angry. but oh my word, i really want my absent-mindedness back now , i really do, i wish.
The situation is that as if i drag myself to shaking, my mind keeps telling me... it starts like this...... you know you could shake, then, you will shake, if i dont shake......you need to shake, you have always learned how to shake, otherwise its not you, how can you change so quickly............if i still dont shake and show confidence then it tells me you are deceiving your people by disguising your personality (as if i have no right to feel proudy about my abilities), then it hurts my ego as if i m really presenting myself as someone i m not, then it drags me to shake my hands, then head, then my voice and then my mind leaves me at that and i m left to embarrasments and pitiness.


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