# Why don't you want kids?



## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

this post is for those who choose never to have kids, like me, so post as many reason you can come up with of why you don't want to have kids, I will start it:

1. I don't want to be a slave (less time for me, have to work just to pay for this fool to stay alive)
2. I don't want to waste my money
3. They would be useless to me
4. I don't want to ruin my life


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## layitontheline (Aug 19, 2009)

1. I just don't like kids for the most part. They annoy me. I have no patience for them.
2. Pregnancy disgusts me, as immature as that is. I don't find the thought of some living thing growing inside me as beautiful. 
3. I don't have it in me to spend all that time trying to nurture and raise a kid.
4. I can't even function in society, let alone try to raise a kid to do so.
5. I don't see the world as a very good place most days, so I don't want to bring a kid into this world. When my parents joke that I should love them because they created me, I just think to myself that was the worst thing they could have done. I don't want to have a kid think that way too.
6. That's all I can think of, but I'm sure there's more.


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## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

I'm not sure if I want children but I wouldn't want to have them because I don't want them to be socially anxious as well.


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## Syrena (Aug 6, 2009)

1. I prefer to have my free time. I want to read and watch movies and not worry about raising a kid.
2. I hate hospitals. I have no intention of willingly getting myself into a situation where I will end up in one. (pregnant)
3. I can barely take care of myself. How am I going to care for kids?
4. I don't find kids cute. I find them annoying and I think they need to be disciplined more.
5. It's not right to pass on my mental issues to the next generation.
6. I don't want to end up like my mother. She is a prime example that not everyone should have kids.
7. Any money I make can go towards me, my bills, my hobbies, not baby clothes and diapers.


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## Medicine Wheel (Nov 17, 2008)

I'm not saying I don't want kids ever but right now I don't want them. I don't have what it takes to raise kids at the moment. Having no job, no college degree, and no money doesn't help much. Maybe in the future I will change my mind but right now.... no.


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## zookeeper (Jun 3, 2009)

Children are the embodiment of evil on this earth.


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## The Strong Silent Type (Sep 24, 2009)

I don't want kids because I like staying in a good mood.


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## Phibes (Mar 8, 2009)

BECAUSE CHILDREN ARE ****ING PIECES OF ****! my nephew and neice are over and they're so annoying and disrespectful.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

there are already too many people...


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## SilentLoner (Jan 30, 2006)

1. Pregnancy grosses me out. Fetal pictures actually give me the creeps. Ew.
2. I like kids but not for long periods of time. I'll play games with them and stuff but once they start whining, back to the parents.
3. I'd be terrified of ending up like my mom, she gave up her career to stay at home and it blew up in her face. She'd paid for it for many years financially and emotionally and still is.
4. Overpopulation!

While I definitely don't want my own kids, I'm open to adopting or being a foster parent later in life. Maybe.


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## superhappyfunchica (Sep 26, 2009)

i dont want to give birth, i don't want to deal with poop and pee and vomit and crying at all hours. i dont want to raise another human being. i guess im selfish, but i find it hard enough to take care of myself. and i like and need my free time!


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## liarsclub (Aug 23, 2008)

save 20 years of time.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

zookeeper said:


> Children are the embodiment of evil on this earth.


They are?


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

I decided at a young age (probably around 12 or 13) that I didn't want to have any kids. 

I just think I'd be a terrible father. I'm too self-absorbed and introverted to focus all my attention into taking care of another person. Plus, it probably sucks being a dad anyway. You get terrible gifts for Father's Day and Christmas, and if your kid ever becomes famous, you KNOW they're gonna thank the mom, not you, even if you if did everything to get them there.

Besides, nobody actually WANTS kids; they just have them because if they don't, the species will die. Just like bowel movements.


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## Thomas Paine (Mar 29, 2008)

liarsclub said:


> You can save like like 20 years of time.


That's a good reason. However, if I accidentally made one of those evil little things, I would sacrifice whatever it took to give them a decent life and learn how to raise them. And I do secretly want a son eventually that I can teach all sorts of neat tricks that I've learned in life.


zookeeper said:


> Children are the embodiment of evil on this earth.





Logan X said:


> They are?


I think all babies must have borderline personality disorder because one minute they are laughing little bundles of joy, and the next minute they are screaming and flinging their own feces across a crowded restaurant.


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

Cause they're ****ing annoying and I'm way too selfish to even begin to provide for one.

Pleasantly surprised to see there are actually a fair number of girls who feel the same way!


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

I can think of numerous logical reasons not to (but people don't base this sort of decision on pure logic anyway), but what it basically boils down to is that I lack the desire and always have.


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## rincewind (Sep 7, 2009)

I don't want kids, but I could imagine that changing in the future if I somehow ended up in a good relationship and my partner was enthusiastic about it. 

Right now though, I just feel that they'd be a massive burden on my life and I have doubts I'd be able to be a good parent.


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## hyacinth_dragon (Dec 28, 2008)

They are an encumberance that prevents me from doing the things that I want to do.


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## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

layitontheline said:


> 1. I just don't like kids for the most part. They annoy me. I have no patience for them.
> 2. Pregnancy disgusts me, as immature as that is. I don't find the thought of some living thing growing inside me as beautiful.
> .
> .
> 5. I don't see the world as a very good place most days, so I don't want to bring a kid into this world. When my parents joke that I should love them because they created me, I just think to myself that was the worst thing they could have done. I don't want to have a kid think that way too.


Those are my reasons too. I don't hate kids or anything like that (although babies can be pretty gross). My mom once told me that if there were no children in this world, we'd all just be waiting to die. I guess she's right, but kids just aren't for me.


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## bobthebuilder (Jun 17, 2009)

only reasons I have: This world sucks, and doesnt seem to be getting better, and I do not know if ill ever have the resources (time and money) to raise them right. Id like too, and would dedicate my life to them, but it does not look like its possible.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

1. I like living a simple life with as few restrictions and responsibilities as possible.
2. They're annoying
3. They're expensive
4. I still feel like a kid myself
5. My genes are flawed
6. Pregnant women disgust me (sorry, just being honest here)


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

layitontheline said:


> 5. I don't see the world as a very good place most days, so I don't want to bring a kid into this world. When my parents joke that I should love them because they created me, I just think to myself that was the worst thing they could have done. I don't want to have a kid think that way too.
> 6. That's all I can think of, but I'm sure there's more.


I relate to point 5 the most. Except I've had my parents tell me I should feel grateful they had me?? :haha Yerrrrrr :thanks


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

I guess I would like to be a father but at the same time everything about my personality tells me I should not, so I guess I likely won't, mostly for the reasons that have already been mentioned here.


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## Toad Licker (Nov 2, 2007)

Kids are great as long they are someone else's! 

Seriously though kids aren't too bad I never wanted any when I was younger but ended up with two of them.


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## Aurora (Feb 27, 2009)

:clap I laughing at this thread. Once apon a time, I would of said the same as most comments here. But we all grow up one day and realise none of that matters in the end and that were more capable of love than we think we are.
I didnt know what love was until I got pregnant the first time and made the biggest mistake of my life, abortion, because oh it was just so inconvienient at the time! To this day I greive for that 8 week old embryo. Unfortunately, the immense love had to be too late! I dont wish it that kind of guilt on anyone. 
Seriously, Im looking forward to giving birth in Feb, the natural way without the paralysing drug inserted into my spine, because heck, you only live once, might as well do it the way nature intended. My own mother thinks Im a martyr for saying I wont have an epidural. 
Its amazing how a womans body can do this, 9 months of rearranging internal organs, growing a watermellon, internal organs being kicked and punched every day, then pushing it out of a tiny hole. 
Sure it might sound disgusting. But remember, we all came out the same way, either that or had to be cut out. You were prolly an annoying lil child too. Your poops had to be cleaned up, you cried because you couldnt communicate any other way and you vomitted all over your mothers. But your mother didnt care. Because she loved you. She loved you before she even held you for the first time. She loved you when you were the size of a pea! 
Im not even there yet and the last 20 weeks has had to be the biggest enlightening life experience so far. Ive found a new respect for mothers (and fathers)! 
So whatever, Im sure many of you wont be thinking those same comments when your time comes and you experience this.


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## Aurora (Feb 27, 2009)

Peter Attis said:


> Besides, nobody actually WANTS kids; they just have them because if they don't, the species will die. Just like bowel movements.


Haha. Oh dear.

We humans are not really mature until we reach mid 20s. Anything we say in our teens we wont be thinking by the time we are atleast 23 - 25. Everyone grows and matures, every day of our lives. 
At 12 I wanted to be a surfer or a fighter pilot, I didnt want kids because I thought my lil brother and sister were enough children in my life. Children grow up and so do we.


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## Syrena (Aug 6, 2009)

Aurora said:


> :clap I laughing at this thread. Once apon a time, I would of said the same as most comments here. But we all grow up one day and realise none of that matters in the end and that were more capable of love than we think we are.


I'm 25, am I still going to "grow out of this"? My mother seems to think so. If I didn't hate hospitals so much, I would seek out sterilization so I could stop taking these horrid birth control pills, maybe people would believe me after that.


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## Aurora (Feb 27, 2009)

Syrena said:


> I would seek out sterilization so I could stop taking these horrid birth control pills, maybe people would believe me after that.


and you'd prolly end up getting IVF, when your in your 40s and realise you missed 20 years of opportunity, only to find its too late. Like so many other older woman are getting after they waste the best fertile years of theyre lives on a meaningless career to pay for their wasteful materialistic lives when they could of experienced so much more and took only a few years out of their selfish lives to care for a child.

Sorry, its just my opinion. Dont mean to come across as argumentitive or judgemental. I just feel so strongly about this subject. :afr


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## Your Crazy (Feb 17, 2009)

1. Don't like kids
2. The amount of money you spend on them in a year is the price of my dream exotic car
3. The responsibility
4. The zap of freedom
5. The thought of them growing up and the negative b/s you have to put up with
6. The world is overpopulated
7. I look at kids as the worst STD of all


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## Syrena (Aug 6, 2009)

Aurora said:


> and you'd prolly end up getting IVF, when your in your 40s and realise you missed 20 years of opportunity, only to find its too late. Like so many other older woman are getting after they waste the best fertile years of theyre lives on a meaningless career to pay for their wasteful materialistic lives when they could of experienced so much more and took only a few years out of their selfish lives to care for a child.


I most certainly will not ever be seeking IVF, and sure, I too think it is silly to waste years and years of one's life on a career if one instead desires to be a housewife/mother, but I don't work and I would be completely content if I could continue never working (though I won't push out a kid just to get my wish), so, that isn't my story.


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

Aurora said:


> and you'd prolly end up getting IVF, when your in your 40s and realise you missed 20 years of opportunity, only to find its too late. Like so many other older woman are getting after they waste the best fertile years of theyre lives on a meaningless career to pay for their wasteful materialistic lives when they could of experienced so much more and took only a few years out of their selfish lives to care for a child.
> 
> Sorry, its just my opinion. Dont mean to come across as argumentitive or judgemental. I just feel so strongly about this subject. :afr


It did come off as a bit judgmental, to be honest. 

Do you honestly believe it's just a "phase" for everyone, and that anyone who doesn't want kids is selfish?

I look at the world completely differently, I suppose. I feel like bringing a kid into this cruel, harsh world which has made me so miserable for most of my life -- under _my_ inept care, no less -- would be such a disservice to them that the morally correct thing would be for me to refrain from reproducing, even if I did want kids. I guess it's a good thing for the longevity of our species that most don't think this way.


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## bezoomny (Feb 10, 2007)

The main reasons would be - terrible, terrible time for kids right now. I'd probably resent him/her for making me give up on my education. Also there's a massive fear of passing on mental illness. I know that I got the disposition for an anxiety disorder from my father, and the disposition for depression from my mother's family (except I got stuck with ****ing melancholic, ugh).


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## Traci (Jan 26, 2004)

I don't want to pass on my genes.


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## Thomas Paine (Mar 29, 2008)

I'm not too worried about passing on my genetic migraines, SA, and rebellious attitude anymore, since before long, with epigenetics we will probably be able to change specific sets of our genes before we even have kids, and choose what we want or don't want to pass on. And if you have a kid before this is all perfected and commonplace, you could still have your child's undesirable genes switched on or off at some point.


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## Aurora (Feb 27, 2009)

anomalous said:


> It did come off as a bit judgmental, to be honest.
> 
> Do you honestly believe it's just a "phase" for everyone, and that anyone who doesn't want kids is selfish?
> 
> I look at the world completely differently, I suppose. I feel like bringing a kid into this cruel, harsh world which has made me so miserable for most of my life -- under _my_ inept care, no less -- would be such a disservice to them that the morally correct thing would be for me to refrain from reproducing, even if I did want kids. I guess it's a good thing for the longevity of our species that most don't think this way.


Well thats not how I intended it to come across. Re reading it, it does sound judgemental, I can admit that. So I am sorry *Syrena*. (please know that lately Im extreemly hormonal, so I snap easier than usual and none of my snapping is personally directed at anyone) This thread just saddens me.

I wasnt aiming that at anyone in particular and no I do not think its a 'phase', I just think its silly to say 'I never want kids' unless your past an age when you can have them and you've lived a comfortable life knowing youve atleast thought the decision through to not regret it.. I believe we're always changing our ambitions, dreams and wants out of life and maturing with every life experience.. our lives are never planned, tomorrow is not planned! Whats the bet that none of us here will be the same person we are today in 10 years time?


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

Wow - I could have written every single comment that I've read here in my 20's (all of the reasons I didn't want to have a baby, would never have a baby and couldn't even stand babies around me). My first husband and I couldn't conceive and I was secretly happy about that - never could figure out why I felt that way except for all the reasons listed above which I held secret in my heart. But...

.... then I came home from work one night and he had died... I was instantly changed...

Once I remarried (badly)... I was pregnant within 3 months and it was the most joyous, healthy, beautiful, amazing time of my life. That 9 months was the happiest time of my life (despite being married to an alcoholic when was emotionally and mentally abusive - I divorced him eventually).

Anyway now my son is 11 and I wouldn't trade him or the last 11 years +9 months for anything in the world. The amazing part of taking part in creating a human being is that it makes you a better human being... it makes you realize what really is important in life and teaches you humility and self-sacrifice and unconditional love.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

This thread makes me sad panda, so much negativity  I want kids, sure they will be handfuls at time, rid you of most of your sleep for the first few years, cost you money and cause you trouble in their teen years, but it's an experience I would cherish I think, knowing I would have personally brought up a child of my own and then see them progress through life and into the world, finding love and work and having children of their own!

I don't want my life to simply be about me, I want to share it.


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## caflme (Jun 7, 2009)

Ospi - you are going to make a wonderful dad... and you don't lose as much sleep as people talk about if you keep your child on a schedule but allow for some flexibility. If you are fairly laid back but structured and you don't yell at your kid all the time then your kid will be fairly laid back. Kids learn what they live. My son hardy ever cried much, slept well, ate well, was rarely sick, he was a happy baby and is a happy kid now. Not all raising of kids turns out to be a nightmare - you get from it what you put into it - if you are selfless, caring, giving - and you sound like you are - you will find being a parent to be the most rewarding thing you will ever do or experience ever.

Oh, and never be quiet so the baby will sleep, as long as you make sure there is normal levels of noise in the house when baby is asleep they will learn how to sleep through music, people talking and stuff.


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## superhappyfunchica (Sep 26, 2009)

hmm, i'm going on 25, and have never wanted kids since i was a kid myself. i think the world would be a better place if more people gave serious thought to WHY they wanted or didn't want kids, instead of just doing what was expected of them...marriage, house, baby...we're not all cut out for that kind of life.


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## Your Crazy (Feb 17, 2009)




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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

God, I love The Onion. :lol

As for kids, I feel uncomfortable around them. They're so unpredictable. I have enough trouble socializing with adults, I don't see myself as being able to socialize with little kids, too (especially when they usually don't understand you, anyway.)


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

No, it would be selfish of me to pass on my mental disorders to another person. No one should have to go through the psychological hell I went through. No one should have to be raised by someone who is as socially inept as me. And I just plain do not want any kids. I can barely stand the idea of anyone else taking up my free time.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

Anyone who thinks they dont want kids SHOULDNT have any. A lot of people dive into parenthood without really thinking about it. Waiting until one feels they are ready, or not having kids at all is a far smarter decision.


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## southward (Jul 25, 2008)

I don't want a kid right now, and the thought of being pregnate makes me feel ill...

But, I think if I were in a relationship with someone I loved and they wanted to start a family...I would do it. And love it. I know I would make a good mom, I just don't want to do it alone.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

Futures said:


> 6. Pregnant women disgust me (sorry, just being honest here)


they also disgust me


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## markx (Dec 22, 2007)

Oh man, IMO a woman is never more beautiful than when she's pregnant.


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## JayDontCareEh (Jul 16, 2007)

superhappyfunchica said:


> i think the world would be a better place if more people gave serious thought to WHY they wanted or didn't want kids, instead of just doing what was expected of them...marriage, house, baby...we're not all cut out for that kind of life.


I sooo agree with this. ^


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## SilentLoner (Jan 30, 2006)

Aurora said:


> So whatever, Im sure many of you wont be thinking those same comments when your time comes and you experience this.


Ah, if I had a nickel for every time I've heard that. I don't doubt its true for some people but I do know several childless couples personally who have to deal with similar commentary all the time.

But I won't bother adressing the (apparently unintentional) judgemental commentary. Maybe I learned too much by watching my own mother. Stayed at home to raise us kids and had it blow up in her face, I've had to watch the terrible results of it for years.


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## dreamer222 (Jan 26, 2008)

So I talked about this in another post but what the heck, I'll make a list anyway:

1) I'm really not good with kids. I know this from the little experience I have babysitting.
2) I don't just have social anxiety, I have severe social anxiety. There is no doubt that my child would inherit this, as well as my social awkwardness and general "cluelessness."
3) I don't think I could trust myself with another life. Not in my current condition anyway. I'd probably unintentionally fail to give my child the care he/she needs, in an attempt to care for myself. 
4) I wouldn't be able to handle it if something were to happen to my child or if they grew up wrong. I'm thinking about my mom here, and how my sister's leukemia turned her into a nervous wreck.

All this said, I used to think that it would be amazing to have children. I thought it would be great to have a family of my own and to watch my kids grow up. But...kids aren't for everyone. I didn't know then what I know now.


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## glarmph (May 21, 2009)

markx said:


> Oh man, IMO a woman is never more beautiful than when she's pregnant.


Ditto


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

ShinAkuma said:


> they also disgust me


Why?

I don't have a problem with people stating they feel they would not make good parents, they don't wish to risk bringing up a child who suffers as they have or the thought of having that much responsibility is not attractive to them. But when it moves to saying that pregnant woman disgust them, as if they become some vulgar being, it becomes rather pathetic imo.


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

I love kids, but i will never have any of my own. I wouldn't make much of a dad.


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## Aurora (Feb 27, 2009)

Ospi said:


> This thread makes me sad panda, so much negativity  I want kids, sure they will be handfuls at time, rid you of most of your sleep for the first few years, cost you money and cause you trouble in their teen years, but it's an experience I would cherish I think, knowing I would have personally brought up a child of my own and then see them progress through life and into the world, finding love and work and having children of their own!
> 
> I don't want my life to simply be about me, I want to share it.


 You will make a wonderful parent! You have the right idea. Life is not just about ourselves! One day we all realise it. 
I agree this thread made me so freakin depressed and angry, maybe being negative myself was a bad move. But jeez. Its sad so many people here are so negative. Im not going to look at this thread again or the frustration forum. Negativity only breeds more negativity.


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## Aurora (Feb 27, 2009)

caflme said:


> Ospi - you are going to make a wonderful dad... and you don't lose as much sleep as people talk about if you keep your child on a schedule but allow for some flexibility. If you are fairly laid back but structured and you don't yell at your kid all the time then your kid will be fairly laid back. Kids learn what they live. My son hardy ever cried much, slept well, ate well, was rarely sick, he was a happy baby and is a happy kid now. Not all raising of kids turns out to be a nightmare - you get from it what you put into it - if you are selfless, caring, giving - and you sound like you are - you will find being a parent to be the most rewarding thing you will ever do or experience ever.
> 
> Oh, and never be quiet so the baby will sleep, as long as you make sure there is normal levels of noise in the house when baby is asleep they will learn how to sleep through music, people talking and stuff.


 I hope my unborn baby is like your kid. lol. Good advice!


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## Exploding Walrus Backflip (Sep 17, 2009)

I'm very anti-overpopulation so reproducing would make me a big hypocrite. Quality over quantity I say. I wish everybody would ease off the baby making for awhile. The Earth isn't getting any bigger.

I'd rather adopt anyways. I have REALLY crappy genes and I'd feel bad passing them on. Adopting also avoids the possibility of having a disabled child.

I don't want kids and I have SA... eat your heart out girls!


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## Meli24R (Dec 9, 2008)

I have never wanted children for numerous reasons. I'm in my mid twenties now and I don't see myself changing my mind.
Anxiety, depression and schizophrenia run in my family. I am not going to risk passing my screwed up genes on. 
The world is overpopulated as it is and I really see no point in bringing more children into it. 
I also couldn't handle the responsibility. I'm a doom and gloom type thinker and a hypochondriac. I'd constantly be worrying about the child's safety and health. If something unfortunate happened I'd probably have a nervous breakdown.
I'd be happy spending the rest of my life with a partner and pets.:yes


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## Neptunus (Oct 29, 2007)

> > *Originally Posted by superhappyfunchica *
> > i think the world would be a better place if more people gave serious thought to WHY they wanted or didn't want kids, instead of just doing what was expected of them...marriage, house, baby...we're not all cut out for that kind of life.
> 
> 
> I sooo agree with this. ^


Double ditto!


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## Cerberus (Feb 13, 2005)

ShinAkuma said:


> they also disgust me


Pregnancy certainly isn't pretty.


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

Kids annoy me and I don't want the responsibility or to spend money on one when I could be buying stuff for myself. Selfish? Maybe, but I think bringing children of your own into the world is much more selfisher. Theres plenty of kids already in the world who need homes, why not take one of them rather then have your own? 

I'm 27 and know I won't change my mind. Would actually like to have my tubes tied when I get married, but worried it would effect my sex drive.


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## PlayerOffGames (Mar 19, 2007)

i would ruin their lives...my genes are cursed...plus i wouldnt be a good father


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

Cerberus said:


> Pregnancy certainly isn't pretty.


I mean, just looking at them disgusts me


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## Your Crazy (Feb 17, 2009)

Why are some people saying that the negative comments in this thread makes them depressed/angry?


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## unmotivated (Oct 1, 2009)

Because I am currently not in a financial position to provide for them.


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## gaz (Jun 27, 2008)

They're too demanding and are costly. I have enough of a hard time looking after myself!

Too be honest kids scare me too, you know they remind me of 'the village of the damned'


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## DitzyDreamer (Jun 10, 2008)

ShinAkuma said:


> this post is for those who choose never to have kids, like me, so post as many reason you can come up with of why you don't want to have kids, I will start it:
> 
> 1. I don't want to be a slave (less time for me, have to work just to pay for this fool to stay alive)
> 2. I don't want to waste my money
> ...


Well damn! I didn't think SA could transcend to parenthood too!

I know I want kids, but no more than two. I've always dreamt of a little boy and little girl, twins.

I knew I was a pessimistic individual, but I didn't think I would find people worse! Some of the things said on this thread is extremely hateful. I can respect you all not wanting to have kids, but some of things said have been extremely insulting...

Which makes me glad that none of you want kids. The world is already full of negative and hateful people, do we need anymore?


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

me not wanting kids has nothing to do with SA


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## Your Crazy (Feb 17, 2009)

DitzyDreamer said:


> Well damn! I didn't think SA could transcend to parenthood too!
> 
> I know I want kids, but no more than two. I've always dreamt of a little boy and little girl, twins.
> 
> ...


Exactly, so don't have kids and that's one less little boy or little girl that we have to worry about


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## TheSilent (Sep 23, 2009)

Because I fear I will be as ****ed up as my parents...


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

I'm not sure I could deal with the stress. I like my freedom.

Aside from this my youngest brother is 18 years younger than me so it is already kind of like having my own kid lol. I think I can be satisfied with just having him around without having my own.

I would still like to have a loving wife someday though.


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## GermanHermit (Sep 6, 2008)

I was never affected by the romanticizing of parenthood enforced on me by the media.

I'm not a maternal person and so far simply have not felt the desire to have children. And I'm currently not very fond of children either.

That might have been changed if the right partner had come along at the right time.

Also, now I'm too old and too rational and involved in managing my life for this kind of play of thought.


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## miminka (May 10, 2009)

1. You never get a break from them- they're with you for the rest of your life.
2. I don't want to become one of those boring suburban mothers you seen in the commericals.
3. They're expensive
4. No patience to put up with their blubbering
5. I'd make a bad mother
6. One life is hard enough to manage.


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## mind_games (Nov 30, 2008)

If ever I end up wanting a kid, I think I'll adopt. I couldn't bear creating new life. Its a responsibility too many people take too lightly and too selfishly.


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## lb756 (May 31, 2008)

I never want children, while there is the desire to pass on my genes, I have no desire to take on the responsibility of raising a child for the best part of two decades, no desire to put up with tantrums, a petulant teenager and then be dumped in an old folks home, and no desire to be one of those divorced fathers who take their children to McDonalds every Saturday.

Selfish, but it's the truth.


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## Cerrada (May 26, 2009)

- Kids annoy me
- Not sure I would make a very good mother to begin with
- Paying for their college? No thank you...
- I don't want to mess up my body
- I'm too pre-occupied with my own life to worry about someone else's


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## caesarea (Aug 20, 2009)

I have a famously low tolerance for stress. I like kids well enough more often than not, but they're trying little things and I don't deal with the stress well. I've essentially helped raise both my nephew and my niece since birth, and I've been shown over and over it's best for me to opt out of that particular choice.


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## epril (Mar 24, 2009)

You can think of many good reasons not to have kids, but most things get worked out. Ex. you can raise your kids to have good manners. I'd gently ask you to keep an open minds, because if you obsess on how much you don't want kids, like any tape that keeps playing in your mind, you can teach yourself to be hardened or overly anxious about having kids.

I had some of the same issues, especially the passing on of bad genes, ex. depression. 
My kids have given me so much joy, love, good times..no cliches intended, just true facts!


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## pyramidsong (Apr 17, 2005)

epril said:


> You can think of many good reasons not to have kids, but most things get worked out. Ex. you can raise your kids to have good manners. I'd gently ask you to keep an open minds, because if you obsess on how much you don't want kids, like any tape that keeps playing in your mind, you can teach yourself to be hardened or overly anxious about having kids.
> 
> I had some of the same issues, especially the passing on of bad genes, ex. depression.
> My kids have given me so much joy, love, good times..no cliches intended, just true facts!


I understand that, and I don't mean to disrespect those who do want them or have had them, but do you really think it's necessary for us all to make the same choice? For some, it's a dilemma or an anxiety issue, but for others (like me) it's simply a matter of having no desire. The notion of children holds no appeal to me whatsoever and never has. I just don't like children very much. I'm VERY maternal with animals and that is why I'm devoting my life to them by becoming a vet. I think society has an expectation that all women should want to be mothers and if not there's something wrong with them.


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## pollster (Oct 4, 2009)

I also feel that I'm having a hard enough time keeping my own life in order, let alone having to set all of that aside to worry about someone else's.

I actually like kids - particularly when they are well behaved  - and as I'm in my 30s now I find myself constantly checking out cute babies/toddlers. Guess it's my biological clock ticking away. But I have known for a while that I don't plan on making any of my own. I like other people's kids - the kind you can give back. Plus, as the oldest of 4 children (one of whom is 10 years my junior and whom I absolutely adored looking after) from a single parent household, I had a lot of responsibility in looking after my siblings. So I feel like my "babysitting" is done, and now it's me time. I do think I would make a great mom though --- I often find that a lot of people who choose not to have kids would be great people to have them, and vice versa. Far too many idiots have kids and don't raise them properly. It's one of the most important things in this world to create a life and lead it through this world, and all it takes is a night in the sack.

I might only contemplate adoption - but even then I doubt that will happen. (Besides, it's expensive!) I'm currently not financially empowered enough to have kids anyway. I agree that the world is far too overpopulated, with abandoned kids left and right, and we should be taking care of those that currently exist on our planet more so than we are doing now.


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## DitzyDreamer (Jun 10, 2008)

Your Crazy said:


> Exactly, so don't have kids and that's one less little boy or little girl that we have to worry about


Oh I WANT to have kids, and when I have them, I will teach them to be positive and optimistic about their lives, and not so negative (unlike myself). So please don't order me to not have kids.


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## SloopjohnB (Jan 1, 2009)

I don't want kids right now, I really have more concerns than a family right now. When I meet the right girl and all that will make sense.


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## No-Sturm-und-Drang (Jan 21, 2009)

because a 5 lb baby coming thru a tiny hole sounds painful


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

haha Emma, so blunt, but so true.


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## IThinkIAmMe (Aug 18, 2009)

I would just feel bad for any child of mine
they deserve better than that

not the best of genetics

poor suckers wouldn't stand a chance

also, being pregnant would be scary sh*t O_O

I could adopt though, that would be alright


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

1. My parents are getting older and my dad has anger issues. I would not put kids in that situation. I feel sorry for my nieces who have to put up with him sometimes. 
2. I don't have the financial means to raise them. 
3. I'm depressed sometimes or tired and I need a nap, but would not be able to do this if I had kids. 
4. My sister needs help with her children due to being a single parent and I would not be able to provide this if I had kids of my own. 
5. The responsibility is huge!


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## EagerMinnow84 (Sep 1, 2007)

The responsibility is the main thing. I cannot imagine being responsible to this tiny human being that will die if you don't take care of it. The birthing process seems terrifying as well.


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## pyramidsong (Apr 17, 2005)

"....loneliness.....peer pressure...."

Wow, what fantastic reasons to make a major, life-altering decision. Sign me up.

/sarcasm


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## pyramidsong (Apr 17, 2005)

Actually wanting one, for a start. Some of us just don't. Doing anything because of "society's expectations" when you have no desire to do it is ridiculous.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

When I was 18 or 20 I would have said that I don't want kids because of the responsibility. I was also afraid they would define me.

Turns out I like the feeling of caring for another human being, and rather than defining me, my kids added meaning to my life. 

I'm not suggesting anyone should have a child as a leap of faith, assuming they'll go through a similar transition. Pay attention to your feelings, including the ones that may change.


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## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

^ The thread title asks about those who do not want children; therefore, it creates a biased sample on which you cannot base any predictions using your figure. You are also applying what is a general population figure to a particular patient group, which is invalid.


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## pyramidsong (Apr 17, 2005)

Marooned said:


> Most people have no desire to toil their lives away for a pittance, but they do it because it's what society expects of them and they've convinced themselves it's the proper thing to do.


I know, and I stand by my original statement- that's freaking sad. I know not everyone has a choice, a migrant worker in a factory who has four kids can't just up and run off to college to "find herself", for example, but an awful lot of us, particularly in the western world, allow ourselves to become victims and live a life that isn't the one we want simply because of what "society expects". I would no more recommend that than have a child because it's what "society expects".

Please don't misunderstand me- this isn't an attack on you, nor on those for whom child-rearing is a desire and a joy. What I take exception to, in general, not just when it comes to this, is the assumption that because someone deviates from the norm they're either defective or deluded. It's patronizing to hear (again, this isn't specifically directed at you) "Oh, you'll change your mind." Most women (men hear it but not as often) from about the age of 23 are assumed to be planning children someday, and to have my (perfectly valid) lifestyle choice repeatedly dismissed as a phase or an anomaly gets tired, fast.

The other thing I have heard as a child-free person is that being child-free is selfish. That may be so, but only in the sense that any life decision is selfish- it affects the self. It is no more or less selfish than having a child- people don't have kids for some altruistic greater good, they have them because they want them, which is fine, but it's a desire just like my lack thereof.


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## ShyViolet (Nov 11, 2003)

I can't even take care of myself.

I don't want to pass on my problems to my child.

I don't deal well with pain.


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## illlaymedown (Oct 6, 2009)

OMG! Are you guys serious. I do believe that there are people who do not and will not ever want kids and that should not have kids, I even think my parents were some of them, but some of the comments in this thread are just so crazy to me. This world is so "bad" because of us, people, we do it, so why don't you be the good in the life of the child if you have one and that way maybe just maybe they will be a driving force in making the world better. I am afraid personally to have children because of the whole pain thing and pushing a watermelon out of a lemon type thing, but I believe that doing so in the right people's life will make them better people, more responsible and show them what really matters in life...free time? honestly, the reason we want to overcome our SA if you truly do is because we are tired of our isolation and mainly being alone..I know I am. Unless you want to stay the same and then I would agree, don't have kids...but if you ever choose to, know that YOU are the factor of how they turn out and if you truely can't handle that, then don't. I am determined that if the day ever comes that I find someone I am so in love with and he wants kids and we have them that I'm gonna be way better as a parent than my parents and at the very least give them a chance, but only when I'm ready. And for the person who said that their mom gave up so much for them and it blew up in her face, how? She sacrificed for her love for you and with any sacrifice there is pain, but there is also reward. The main problem in our world today is that we don't love that kind of way anymore, it's all about us and we forget other people. I'm not saying any of you guys are wrong for not wanting kids, I'm just saying seriously sit back and think deeply about your reasoning before you set it in stone and if you have then great, but for those who haven't and you know in your hearts, do so. I hope that this helps someone and I also must say once again, I don't believe kids are for everyone. But check your reasoning.


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## InThe519 (Sep 21, 2009)

Children are not an "automatic" in life. Too many people think, that is what you are put on earth for, to work and repopulate. I just don't believe that and most people don't understand what a huge sacrifice it is to parent.

It's not that I'm selfish. I have a big heart, I know what love is and can express myself intelligently and emotionally. I just know that I am not even close to responsible enough to care for an offspring 24/7 for 18-20 years.

I want to travel, continue studying, beat SAD and see what's out there. Obviously I'd like to settle down with a missus too. However kids are not for me.

I do like them and they are fun in small doses, however, full time parenthood is not for me.

EDIT: PS - Children are also not medication for other problems


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## forever_dreamer (Jul 8, 2008)

Syrena said:


> 1. I prefer to have my free time. I want to read and watch movies and not worry about raising a kid.
> 2. I hate hospitals. I have no intention of willingly getting myself into a situation where I will end up in one. (pregnant)
> 3. I can barely take care of myself. How am I going to care for kids?
> 4. I don't find kids cute. I find them annoying and I think they need to be disciplined more.
> ...


Alot of these reasons are why I don't want kids. I like babies more than kids (except when they start crying alot-ok I need to stay away from guys lol) but I like kids and well-behaved kids are wonderful lol I just don't really have patience for a kid or really want to devote my time to caring for a kid right now and this sounds repetitive but I can't have kids if I really can't take of myself.

I won't lie there are times I really want a baby but most times it's because I think they'll make me feel better and they'll give me self-worth and make me feel happy and also because they're cute lol but I know that they grow up eventually and that just turns me off (I mostly think about the teenage years lol). I definitely don't want kids now.

If I do have kids I'd like to adopt my first child or first two children and yeah most likely I'll be single but hopefully I'd be well off then. I'm not writing off having kids in the future though cuz I'd like to.


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## DitzyDreamer (Jun 10, 2008)

Marooned said:


> Considering that roughly 85% of people end up having biological children, I take for granted that the uncompromising attitudes toward parenthood that many of those in their 20s seem to share will relent with time. Whatever objections they may have now will disappear along with their youth, be it due to loneliness, opportunity, peer pressure, maturation, or likely some combination thereof. Even if they manage to hold on to their beliefs, by the time they reach their 30s and 40s, there will be so few among their group still without children that the urge to conform will be overwhelming. Only the truly strong-willed and those with hopelessly intractable social problems (i.e., severe SA) will end up as part of that 15% who never reproduce.


It is sad that so many people feel pressured to have babies, when many should not. I highly doubt that even 75% of the people who reproduce should. And I think it is worth noting that the number of women from highly developed countries not having children is going up.

And I think 15% is still a high number. Almost one out of five people never have children in their lifetime, and judging from this forum, that number will be even higher for people with SA.


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## markx (Dec 22, 2007)

Just a word on adoption - it's something that *I* would consider but, depending on where you live, there's a chance that SA will prevent you from adopting. Here in the UK the assessment period is about 2 years and even though they will allow single people to adopt, you must have "support" from friends or family before they will consider it, something that most SA sufferers obviously lack. I wouldn't be surprised if they also took a dim view of an official diagnosis of SAD.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

wow. less than a year ago i felt like a lot of you. didnt want kids, thought they were a hindrance, expensive, etc etc. last christmas i met my girlfriends then six year old daughter and now my views towards children have changed. surprisingly, i would make a good father. but if i were to break up with my girlfriend now and find someone else, would i want to have children? i would have to think about that one. you do lose your 'freedom' but you also gain a lot of other things.


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

Another reason not to have kids--the day that kid turns 13, they're gonna want nothing to do with you. So you just wasted all that time making your kid happy only for them to resent everything you do. I know that usually it only lasts a few years, but that's a few years too long. No thanks.


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