# Is it much harder to get a girlfriend in society today?



## lostfromreality731 (Jan 3, 2013)

It seems that to get a gf today requires a lot of hard work, so for someone with SA or depression it can be a hundred times harder. Unless you go out to nightclubs amd bars then it seems the only place is like the gym, people say just speak to someone there but its extremely awkward just to speak to a random stranger who probably doesn’t want to speak to you in the first place. Even dating websites are very difficult, most of the time you don’t get a response, and even then its like going for a job interview. These dating sites too are more interested in getting as much money from you and if you have failed before then the idea of wasting even more money is a crippling feeling. I wish there was an easier way. If you work with the same people all the time you probably know there is no one there you could see.

It just seems today you have to be perfect to find someone who is right for you. The confident, cocky individuals probably love the challenge but introverts, especially if you have little experience can find this challenge almost unbearable

Is there anyone who feels the same?


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## Fenren (Sep 20, 2009)

Feminism is too blame for men struggling to get in relationships and have sex, as well as for the higher divorce rate. Reality TV, women aspiring to look as pretty as they can and bag a rich sports star and taking nothing less. All kinds of factors.

We are too blame mostly for not upping our game, but the bottom 80% of guys will always have more of a struggle regardless. The top 20% are the really good looking ones, who actually get loads of messages on dating sites from women by just showing their picture.

I could say more but might get a warning, modern society is broken, either be part of it or fail though. Make the most of what you have, nearly every guy could get a girlfriend if they try to improve their life enough.


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## Daktoria (Sep 21, 2010)

warwick2155 said:


> It seems that to get a gf today requires a lot of hard work, so for someone with SA or depression it can be a hundred times harder. Unless you go out to nightclubs amd bars then it seems the only place is like the gym, people say just speak to someone there but its extremely awkward just to speak to a random stranger who probably doesn't want to speak to you in the first place. Even dating websites are very difficult, most of the time you don't get a response, and even then its like going for a job interview. These dating sites too are more interested in getting as much money from you and if you have failed before then the idea of wasting even more money is a crippling feeling. I wish there was an easier way. If you work with the same people all the time you probably know there is no one there you could see.
> 
> It just seems today you have to be perfect to find someone who is right for you. The confident, cocky individuals probably love the challenge but introverts, especially if you have little experience can find this challenge almost unbearable
> 
> Is there anyone who feels the same?


A lot of women say the same thing about finding boyfriends. They don't know where the quality men are. It's just they're not as vocal about it.


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## kast (Nov 22, 2012)

It's probably a lot easier than the complicated 'courtship' of the old days, and you'd pretty much be limited to meeting people at the local dance and marrying a random townsfolk.


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## lostfromreality731 (Jan 3, 2013)

Fenren said:


> We are too blame mostly for not upping our game, but the bottom 80% of guys will always have more of a struggle regardless. The top 20% are the really good looking ones, who actually get loads of messages from dating sites from women by just showing their picture.
> 
> I could say more but might get a warning, modern society is broken, either be part of it or fail though. Make the most of what you have, nearly every guy could get a girlfriend if they try to improve their life enough.


It seems society is obsessed with looks, I think mainstream media has a big part in this. But even if you shy but good looking unless your confident and cocky it seems to be rare you get a moment to connect with someone


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Yeah a lot more is expected of guys these days but less expected from women.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Hell no. It's a lot easier than it was in the '90s, thanks to the internet. If the internet wasn't around I would probably still be a virgin.



Fenren said:


> Feminism is too blame for men struggling to get in relationships and have sex, as well as for the higher divorce rate. Reality TV, women aspiring to look as pretty as they can and bag a rich sports star and taking nothing less. All kinds of factors.
> 
> We are too blame mostly for not upping our game, but the bottom 80% of guys will always have more of a struggle regardless. The top 20% are the really good looking ones, who actually get loads of messages from dating sites from women by just showing their picture.
> 
> I could say more but might get a warning, modern society is broken, either be part of it or fail though. Make the most of what you have, nearly every guy could get a girlfriend if they try to improve their life enough.


:sus


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

I don't think it gets any harder. Why would it be harder?

Nowadays, we have high tech means of communication, and people are pretty open about all sorts of relationships. Nowadays, having casual sex is fine, friends with benefits can be found, etc...

200 years ago, you might have gotten a wife more easily, because at the time, the wife was supposed to stay at home while the husband would pay the checks. That's really the only factor. Doesn't mean you would have been a happy couple.

Today women are independent, so they just find a guy they like (*and NO, not necessarily a guy with a Porsche*). Finding a girlfriend isn't any harder for you than it was for your dad.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Women wind up feeling self-entitled because of the high amount of pansies we have around today, always telling women they're beautiful and offering to pay for all their ****.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

nemesis1 said:


> *Yeah a lot more is expected of guys these days but less expected from women.*


That's it in a nut shell.


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## theseventhkey (Jul 22, 2012)

TPower said:


> Women wind up feeling self-entitled because of the high amount of pansies we have around today, always telling women they're beautiful and offering to pay for all their ****.


I also agree too, men are to blame, the "white knight" syndrome.


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## Mr Bacon (Mar 10, 2012)

Guys, there's about as much women as there are men in your countries. So if men are having a hard time finding a girlfriend, obviously an equal amount of women are having a hard time finding a boyfriend...


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## gunner21 (Aug 4, 2012)

TPower said:


> Women wind up feeling self-entitled because of the high amount of pansies we have around today, always telling women they're beautiful and offering to pay for all their ****.


This is what I don't understand. What is wrong with helping out someone you care about? Isn't that a good thing? Or is helping out someone a bad thing and I am behind in times.


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## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

nemesis1 said:


> Yeah a lot more is expected of guys these days but less expected from women.





TPower said:


> Women wind up feeling self-entitled because of the high amount of pansies we have around today, always telling women they're beautiful and offering to pay for all their ****.


true.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

TPower said:


> Women wind up feeling self-entitled because of the high amount of pansies we have around today, always telling women they're beautiful and offering to pay for all their ****.


You honestly believe that the majority of guys have such a high income that allows them to buy everything for their girl? These twisted views you guys have about how you think a woman's behaviours are might be the reason why you can't find a partner.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

nubly said:


> You honestly believe that the majority of guys have such a high income that allows them to buy everything for their girl? These twisted views you guys have about how you think a woman's behaviours are might be the reason why you can't find a partner.


Well, for instance most men pay on a first date. Why? There's no rational reason to do it. If they don't HOWEVER, many women will be turned off by it.

Why do you think most children who were spoiled by their rich parents are so self-entitled when they grow up? There a clear correlation between how much people usually give you and your expectations towards them.

Who says I can't find a partner? I don't need to because I already have one.

Most men are desperate to find a vagina to bury their cock in, and they're willing to pay meals, buy flowers, and lick butt holes to (try to anyway) do it.


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

I disagree, its hard for both sexes to find a partner they like. We ARE pickier (both men and women), combination of media and the perceived myriad of choices out there and the lack of societal pressure to get hitched straight out of high school have a lot to do with that. 

Also the fact that its okay to have sex without getting married now, I think in the "old" days a lot of people go married just to get married, and have someone they might like them but it wasn't always about true love. And a lot of people stayed in really bad relationships because divorce was faux pas. 

I don't know there are pros and cons to both. I'd rather live now than then though.


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## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

Mr Bacon said:


> Guys, there's about as much women as there are men in your countries. So if men are having a hard time finding a girlfriend, obviously an equal amount of women are having a hard time finding a boyfriend...


It's not always an one-to-one correlation. A lot of the social men I know are juggling several women at the same time.


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

TPower said:


> Well, for instance most men pay on a first date. Why? There's no rational reason to do it. If they don't HOWEVER, many women will be turned off by it.
> .


If the first date is expensive, yes you should pay because you made it expensive. Same goes for if a woman decides she needs to ask a guy out to dinner on the first date.

Don't have expensive first date, problem = solved. Even if you still have to pay, most people would even not mind shouting a friend a coffee. And then you can alternate the next.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

It is a very big question, and there are plenty of factors at work. For some people, it is easier, for others it is much harder.

If I had to get in a relationship in high school and let's say that the only way to leave my hometown was by horse, I probably would have been able to. People pair up and once enough of them are paired up, even the guys and girls that aren't perfect will match up.

Now, with the internet, the vast amount of personal information that I didn't have access to in high school (Facebook, OKCupid questions, etc...), cars, planes, and the ability to move far away, and the shear number of people in a state, there is always someone else that will have baggage of their own, but might have some other quality that someone else doesn't have (height, money, family wealth, political leanings, religious, no kids, etc).


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

nubly said:


> Hell no. It's a lot easier than it was in the '90s, thanks to the internet. If the internet wasn't around I would probably still be a virgin.


Yeah, the 90s was much harder. I had to go to bars to meet guys and it took me months/years to find a new boyfriend. There was no other way.


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## shy-one (May 10, 2008)

Fenren said:


> Feminism is too blame for men struggling to get in relationships and have sex, as well as for the higher divorce rate. Reality TV, women aspiring to look as pretty as they can and bag a rich sports star and taking nothing less. All kinds of factors.
> 
> We are too blame mostly for not upping our game, but the bottom 80% of guys will always have more of a struggle regardless. The top 20% are the really good looking ones, who actually get loads of messages on dating sites from women by just showing their picture.
> 
> I could say more but might get a warning, modern society is broken, either be part of it or fail though. Make the most of what you have, nearly every guy could get a girlfriend if they try to improve their life enough.


Hit the nail on the head. Feminism is to blame.

And to the OP, yes I believe it is much harder to get a gf today, because there is much more competition with online dating. Women often receive hundreds of messages on dating sites, while men receive almost none. In the old days before online dating, women could only meet a few men in person. Now they have literally thousands of men that can see them with online dating.


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

it really shouldnt be that hard. populations are generally 50/50 men and women. there should be enough for everyone.

we have the technology now to connect everyone.

feminism should make it easier cause men and women work together, women are taught to be more open with their attraction, sex is more ok.

I really dont know how to explain why its so hard.


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## _AJ_ (Jan 23, 2008)

,


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## shy-one (May 10, 2008)

_AJ_ said:


> it really shouldnt be that hard. populations are generally 50/50 men and women. there should be enough for everyone.
> 
> I really dont know how to explain why its so hard.


Yep, it SHOULD be the same for both but its not. You know why? Because women are so picky, so instead of settling for a decent guy, they choose to remain single until they find "Mr Perfect", who may never come.

I laugh when I hear women say "I can't find a decent man"

Translation: "I can't find a rich, good looking, tall man who owns a house and drives a BMW"

Every man who doesn't meet the above is deemed to be a "creep".


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## MRX (Jan 3, 2013)

Yes it's harder because society is fragmented now due to technology. If you didn't make friends growing up its nearly impossible to meet people. People who don't like you at first impression will just stare at their phones until you're gone.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

It's easier today. People just dont what to do anymore


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## Skttrbrain (Jun 17, 2011)

Invisiblehandicap said:


> If the first date is expensive, yes you should pay because you made it expensive. Same goes for if a woman decides she needs to ask a guy out to dinner on the first date.
> 
> Don't have expensive first date, problem = solved. Even if you still have to pay, most people would even not mind shouting a friend a coffee. And then you can alternate the next.


I agree, if you ask someone out on a date then you should pay. One time a guy asked me out and we went for bubble tea. We both stood in line and paid for our own.. it was a turn off.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Skttrbrain said:


> *I agree, if you ask someone out on a date then you should pay.* One time a guy asked me out and we went for bubble tea. We both stood in line and paid for our own.. it was a turn off.


What's flawed with this POV is girls almost NEVER ask a guy out. They'll wait for him to do it.

Anyway, do you feel going on a date is a privilege the man should pay for? Do you then feel you're doing him a favor by going out with him? If not, why assume he has to pay your way?

If you do, get off that high horse, you're not Princess Grace.


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## shy-one (May 10, 2008)

Skttrbrain said:


> I agree, if you ask someone out on a date then you should pay. One time a guy asked me out and we went for bubble tea. We both stood in line and paid for our own.. it was a turn off.


Of course women would say this because they know men are the ones to ask them out first!


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

They almost always pay. The ones that don't, stick out.


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## kiirby (Oct 8, 2010)

Yeah, it was so much easier in the old days when you could just pay off her parents with land and livestock and rape her on the wedding night. Bloody feminism! Look what you've done!


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## Harpuia (Apr 10, 2010)

You know...

I'm considered pretty well off now and I'm still single at 26. I don't think it's pickiness.


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## Nexus777 (Dec 1, 2012)

Skttrbrain said:


> I agree, if you ask someone out on a date then you should pay. One time a guy asked me out and we went for bubble tea. We both stood in line and paid for our own.. it was a turn off.


Whats wrong with this, everyone pays for his. I very rarely in the past paid for women (but I had no real RS anyway, only some "friends"). However in hindsight I must say, most of them were fair, women and men. I paid some for them, they paid for me. I only regret that party girl, that wanted to be driven by me all the time. But later she got a car, too and and drove me also 2 or 3 times. Why should men pay and do everything for women ? It is easy for you i agree with this, but I am not rich and wont do it. Pay for yourself :idea I mean women in these days can work and earn and study etc. it is not the middleages where women NEEDED men to support them. Well they still look for the rich and "high status" guys sure, but most women can support themselfes these days...

To the orig. question: It is of course harder :mum Others have explained why already....


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## mark555666 (May 1, 2008)

Only real love counts , internet dating is not really suitable for that. except LK <3


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

Much like_ no_ competition for an saer.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

shy-one said:


> Of course women would say this because they know men are the ones to ask them out first!


Haha exactly. If a girl is polite, she will only let you pay if she wants a second date with you and then offer to get the next one. A woman let me pay in the past even though she kept flaking on the second date. That left a sour taste in my mouth. What am I? Your meal ticket? If I'm going to be paying, she better get the next one or I better be getting a blowjob or something at least. This is 2013. If I wanted a girl with old-school values, thinking that it's a man's duty to take care of her, I'd rather see an escort. if I was rich, I'd be ok with paying for dates. But I'm just a regular working man and women are able to work in 2013 too so they should pay their share.

I've dated girls who let me pay the first date and then paid the second date. That's fine. This girl went dutch on the second date. But all she had on the first date was a tea anyway so it wasn't a big deal that I might have contributed a bit more than she did. Plus I was super beta by being willing to do more of the driving to see her. I had it coming. lol. Being a natural jackass has never got me laid though. Never. Not that I'm like 100% pure natural jackass. But I'm enough of a jackass to turn women off. There was one time where I was pretty jackass-y to a girl but I would balance it out with beta behaviour and I was still being way too beta. It's the nature of the beast that most guys have to be a bit beta and subservient to date (one of the reasons why I don't like dating). Because men are so desperate for ***** that if you don't do what she wants, someone else will (komorikun said as much just now). You have to be pretty hot in order to get away with douchebag game.

We live in a society where *young* women have as much purchasing power as *young* men these days. I only make a bit over $3,000/month. No benefits. I'm not rich. Why should men pay? Homemakers, sugar babies and escorts are entirely dependent on men financially so it's different for them. Things are not going to change until men take a stand. The solution is for men to boycott dating. Women have the upperhand in relationships because men are desperate. If every guy went on a boycott until women started treating men more fairly, then things would change. Why should men boycott? Because "girlfriends" and "wives" don't love you for you. They love you for what you can do for them and how you make them feel. And one-night stands/casual sex is like masturbating in another person. It's pretty meaninglessness. So there's no point in trying to game them either.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

phoenixwright said:


> Because "girlfriends" and "wives" don't love you for you. They love you for what you can do for them and how you make them feel. And one-night stands/casual sex is like masturbating in another person. It's pretty meaninglessness. So there's no point in trying to game them either.


Do you think this is true? I have a fear of a girl only liking me for what I do not who I am or she doesn't find me attractive. Just a placement holder or someone she settled with


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## lostfromreality731 (Jan 3, 2013)

Nexus777 said:


> Whats wrong with this, everyone pays for his. I very rarely in the past paid for women (but I had no real RS anyway, only some "friends"). However in hindsight I must say, most of them were fair, women and men. I paid some for them, they paid for me. I only regret that party girl, that wanted to be driven by me all the time. But later she got a car, too and and drove me also 2 or 3 times. Why should men pay and do everything for women ? It is easy for you i agree with this, but I am not rich and wont do it. Pay for yourself :idea I mean women in these days can work and earn and study etc. it is not the middleages where women NEEDED men to support them. Well they still look for the rich and "high status" guys sure, but most women can support themselfes these days...


Funny that, feminism makes a great deal about how 'we dont need men' or how men dont need to look after a woman, but most woman looking for guys still expect guys to make the first move, be able to drive them anywhere, pay for meals etc. If you dont drive in this society, god help anyone who has an idea of the woman driving, some people are ok with that, but in the eyes of many the man MUST be the one in control and make the moves, and of course pay on first date. If it doesnt go well the man has paid for it with his wallet and the woman can move on and try someone else. Not as far as a gold digger as such but the gamble you must take for a date. Not everyone is like this but a large majority falls into this. It is defiantly harder for men.

Basically if you dont pay on the first date and you're a bloke then you have killed the chances. You have broken protocol


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

Hadron said:


> It's easier for extroverted males, but harder for introverted males. For females it didn't really change.


Trust me its hard for shy girls. I would love to meet a shy girl or even a girl with SA but those girls tend to have unapproachable body language. They tend to be in the background almost invisible even if those shy girls are attractive. While shy girls have it easier than shy guys they don't have it easier than extrovert girls


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

Hadron said:


> Over half the female population on this site are in a relationship. Very few males here have ever actually dated. The statistics speak for themselves.


Where is your proof? I remember a thread asking if people were in a relationship right now which I'm thinking is what you're referencing.

Also I doubt girls with SA or are shy have relationship after relationship. It may take them years to find a new boyfriend. Like I said they have it easier than shy guys which I am not denying seeing as I have had zero success with the opposite sex, but not extrovert girls who have no problems flirting and doing other things most likely to get a person into a relationship


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## lostfromreality731 (Jan 3, 2013)

Jesuszilla said:


> Where is your proof? I remember a thread asking if people were in a relationship right now which I'm thinking is what you're referencing.
> 
> Also I doubt girls with SA or are shy have relationship after relationship. It may take them years to find a new boyfriend. Like I said they have it easier than shy guys which I am not denying seeing as I have had zero success with the opposite sex, but not extrovert girls who have no problems flirting and doing other things most likely to get a person into a relationship


Its more just an estimate but its realistic. I rarely see women here saying they are tired of being unable to find a man, usually they share dating experience. Most guys on this are the opposite. you will get the few though who are not in the minority but its not often


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

chaos_preacher said:


> Its more just an estimate but its realistic. I rarely see women here saying they are tired of being unable to find a man, usually they share dating experience. Most guys on this are the opposite. you will get the few though who are not in the minority but its not often


I'm know. The main point of my original comment was shy/introvert/SA girls vs extrovert girls. Not shy guys vs shy girls.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

Jesuszilla said:


> Do you think this is true? I have a fear of a girl only liking me for what I do not who I am or she doesn't find me attractive. Just a placement holder or someone she settled with


Western women generally want all the liberation of the 21st century for themselves. Yet they still want men to adhere to ancient gender roles like approaching her, asking her out, picking up their tab when we ask them out on a date (how often do women ask us out first?!) and do all of these chivalrous things. The more that a woman expects me to meet male gender roles, the more that I will expect her to meet female gender roles (cook, clean, take care of me when I'm sick, take care of the kids, be loyal and loving, etc And don't act like you're doing us a favour by sleeping with us). I think that's only fair. And there are so many double-standards that I really don't want to go into that women seem to have no problem taking advantage of. Basically women want us to still be 1950s type of men even though we are not earning 1950s type of bread and women are earning their own bread these days. The economy has especially hit young men hard. Women lack empathy for us.

With the unfair treatment that men get from women and society in general, I think the best thing for men to do is to go their own way (MGTOW). Lobbying government doesn't seem to be doing much good for men. But the MGTOW movement is making some serious progress. Especially in Japan. Though I fear that western men may be too *****-whipped to have the potential that Japanese men have. Read about the "grass-eating men" of Japan. Young Japanese men are opting out of marriage, kids and even girlfriends. I don't owe women fertilized eggs and unlimited access to my bank account. I don't owe society children and greater production and tax dollars. Go import immigrants from third-world countries. I don't care. What has society and women (other than my mom, who is no longer with us) done for me lately? Living life as a bachelor is a less stressful, lower maintenance lifestyle. Women and children drive 80% of the consumption in society. A man doesn't need anything more than food, shelter, health care, some entertainment and a studio apartment ("the bachelor pad"). If I was married, my expenses would skyrocket because the wife is always the one who demands more and more and more. And if I had children, it would be even worse. An indentured servant for life to a woman and your ungrateful brats.


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## lostfromreality731 (Jan 3, 2013)

women wait for the guys to approach them, if they dont then they know some other more confident guy will approach instead, it doesnt matter to them. Men have to fight to get what they need, women just wait to see which fish is biting and strong enough to reel itself in.


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## Aalim (Sep 19, 2013)

I pity my non-muslim friends, they struggle more to get women and have to do more to impress and be more special. Western men end up virgins into later life and get demaged in brain! In my culture it is more of a human right to have a women, arrange a unions it should be. It's natural to get mates and sex in all of nature, but western societies hellish oppress men.


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## VeMuñeca (Sep 5, 2013)

In my opinion it seems easier. At my college I see a lot of guys with girlfriends. It also feels like a lot of young people are in relationships now.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Doby said:


> In my opinion it seems easier. At my college I see a lot of guys with girlfriends. It also feels like a lot of young people are in relationships now.


You are a female. That is why you think it is easier for men. When that is clearly not the case, as this thread has shown. I speak from experience as a shy, visually impaired male in society today who just so happens to be rather intimidated of approaching women for friendships or future relationships due to the standards set by the media and women themselves. It gets rather lonely, trust me.


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## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

I'm surprised this has gone for 3 pages without sparking an all out gender war yet...


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

h00dz said:


> I'm surprised this has gone for 3 pages without sparking an all out gender war yet...


No kidding! LOL


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

So many have been banned in this thread.


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## slider (Feb 9, 2013)

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pit/453035602.html

Is it really worth my time and emotional investment in someone if they are just going to leave? Its just easier to pay for sex and keep life simple. All the prostitutes i have been with are really nice about meeting my needs and not making me feel uncomfortable.


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## alienbird (Apr 9, 2010)

Thanks for making me laugh, guys. 

Why do women even want a boyfriend, seeing how the men today behave? I don't get it. 

Seriously... you guys on this site... I just don't understand you all. LOL.


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## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

Grand said:


> Thanks for making me laugh, guys.
> 
> Why do women even want a boyfriend, seeing how the men today behave? I don't get it.
> 
> Seriously... you guys on this site... I just don't understand you all. LOL.


Most people don't realize its frustrating for both sexes when relationships don't work out. So guys as an example ITT lash out and attack the others, identifying them as the problem not the individual themselves.

What I find interesting is why women don't seem to do this, at least on this forum half as much as their male counterparts. Anyone like to chime in on this?


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## alienbird (Apr 9, 2010)

h00dz said:


> What I find interesting is why women don't seem to do this, at least on this forum half as much as their male counterparts. Anyone like to chime in on this?


I think more men feel entitled to a relationship and sex, whereas women don't. Most women on here blame themselves for not being able to find love; most of the men on here blame women.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

h00dz said:


> Most people don't realize its frustrating for both sexes when relationships don't work out. So guys as an example ITT lash out and attack the others, identifying them as the problem not the individual themselves.
> 
> What I find interesting is why women don't seem to do this, at least on this forum half as much as their male counterparts. Anyone like to chime in on this?


Women tend to have more self-esteem problems, so they often blame things on themselves instead of others. They tend to channel their frustrations inwards instead of projecting it onto other people because we're taught to bottle things up and not be confrontational/forward in any way.

I feel like most men on here are the same way, though. Many men blame themselves for not being interesting enough/social enough/attractive enough, etc. It's only the minority that lash out.


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## lostfromreality731 (Jan 3, 2013)

Grand said:


> I think more men feel entitled to a relationship and sex, whereas women don't. Most women on here blame themselves for not being able to find love; most of the men on here blame women.


I dont blame all women, I blame mainly society. It has risen that bar even higher and the standards are getting much tighter. I feel I have even less chance because I dont care for modern fads like touch smart phones and facebook. If you dont keep up with the times then you feel disabled when you try and play game in a society that tries to tell you what you should do.

Its fair to say guys are expected to make all the moves, but many people here find it hard to do that, they need a little help, if you show signs of this its a sign of weakness. Society makes it seem guys are the ones who have to be confident to even impress a woman, television is terrible for this.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Grand said:


> Thanks for making me laugh, guys.
> 
> Why do women even want a boyfriend, seeing how the men today behave? I don't get it.
> 
> *Seriously... you guys on this site... I just don't understand you all.* LOL.


Your first point comes off as rather condescending. *Why would men even want a girlfriend, seeing how women behave today?*

See how easy that kind of thinking is? We don't really understand you women either.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Grand said:


> I think more men feel entitled to a relationship and sex, whereas women don't. Most women on here blame themselves for not being able to find love; most of the men on here blame women.


We are blaming society as a whole, and not all women.


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## zstandig (Sep 21, 2013)

People in general seemed to be able to connect easier a long time ago.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Your first point comes off as rather condescending. *Why would men even want a girlfriend, seeing how women behave today?*
> 
> See how easy that kind of thinking is? We don't really understand you women either.
> 
> ...


Look one post above hers.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Obviously, there are more ways to meet people than ever before. So, it should be easier today to meet women and vice versa, at least in countries with modern technologies. Populations are increasing as well.


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## Mushie (Sep 21, 2013)

Very manly of you guys to blame feminism  Those who expect you to pay for the date are certantly not in that category since some of what feminism stands for is independence. The man paying for dinner just makes me think of the days when women were not allowed to work and America.


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## Mushie (Sep 21, 2013)

Women most like men with confidence, and assuming that you're struggling with SA, it will most likely be very hard for you to be when there is a women you like with you.. But this also applies to women as men most prefer women who shut up and make them sandwiches.
Conclusion: Confident women scares men, and insecure men scares women


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

iAmCodeMonkey said:


> Your first point comes off as rather condescending. Why would men even want a girlfriend, seeing how *women* behave today?
> 
> See how easy that kind of thinking is? We don't really understand you women either.


American women. Im going to get a caring and nice foreign or mexican american woman that will take care of me.


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## lostboy289 (Aug 29, 2013)

It's pretty clear that starting a relationship is signifigantly harder than it was in previous generations. I don't think it has to do with one gender, but rather general attitudes we have towards others. Back in the day dating was as simple as hanging out with another person. As long as someone wasn't obviously bad news you spent some time with them, and if things weren't a total disaster you went from there.

Today we are so enamored with the idea of these Hollywood romances which just naturally have everything fall into place, that we place emphasis on these unimportant factors that have very little to do with genuine compatibility.

Things have to happen at just the right time, under the right circumstances, and in just the right way. "Is this person appealing?" "Can I spend time with them and be happy?" These are questions we learned for ourselves during the first few dates. Not defintivly decided before we truly got a chance to know them. We are so quick to deem situations "awkward" and jump to feelings of uncomfort due to a lack of an idealistic pace in the relationship that we miss the only question that matters. "Is this someone im compatible with?"

One aspect that we have become particularly weird about is the concept of one person liking the other person more than the other. People today seem to be particularly paranoid about this topic, with the concept of currently unrequited affection being associated with stalking, obsession, or other malicious intent. Look how few relationships actually stem from crushes. Back in the day this is how a big chunk of relationships started.

My grandparents met when my grandfather spotted my grandmother figure skating at a local park and he instantly fell in love with her. He even admitted to a friend that night that he had met the woman he was going to marry. She didn't feel the same (was even involved with someone else at the time) and he had to keep asking for weeks to get a date. Today she would probably slap him with a restraining order.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

CopadoMexicano said:


> American women. Im going to get a caring and nice foreign or mexican american woman that will take care of me.


:yes


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

lostboy289 said:


> It's pretty clear that starting a relationship is signifigantly harder than it was in previous generations. I don't think it has to do with one gender, but rather general attitudes we have towards others. Back in the day dating was as simple as hanging out with another person. As long as someone wasn't obviously bad news you spent some time with them, and if things weren't a total disaster you went from there.
> 
> Today we are so enamored with the idea of these Hollywood romances which just naturally have everything fall into place, that we place emphasis on these unimportant factors that have very little to do with genuine compatibility.
> 
> ...


You hit the nail on the head. Great post.


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

Aalim said:


> I pity my non-muslim friends... Western men end up virgins into later life and get demaged in brain! In my culture it is more of a human right to have a women, arrange a unions it should be. It's natural to get mates and sex in all of nature, but western societies hellish oppress men.


:no


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## SlickRoach (Sep 21, 2013)

Mushie said:


> Conclusion: Confident women scares men, and insecure men scares women


Don't know about that as I actually like confident women. I guess it's a case of opposites attracting but I like the idea of having a partner that inspires you to want to improve yourself. A partner and a role model, if you will. :yes


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

Mushie said:


> Conclusion: Confident women scares men, and insecure men scares women


As someone who was hit on by a confident woman its greatly appreciated that she made the first move


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## Noll (Mar 29, 2011)

i think it would be harder to find a boyfriend than a girlfriend, for me anways. doesn't mean i blame all guys there ever was, but i understand it's easy to slip into, bitterness. please try not to, try to be rational, you can't blame ALL girls. i know what you're feeling and i know that it's hard, but everything is individual.

some things... take time... an awful lot of time... waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting. some people get a lot of love in their youth, some don't. and it takes so long. so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so long.

maybe you're looking in the wrong place for the love you're seeking..? have you tried going to places where overly materialistic people do not exist? ..lowering your probably insane standards? equal people like equal people.

shyness is crippling and should be treated.


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

Fenren said:


> Feminism is too blame for men struggling to get in relationships and have sex, as well as for the higher divorce rate. Reality TV, women aspiring to look as pretty as they can and bag a rich sports star and taking nothing less. All kinds of factors.
> 
> We are too blame mostly for not upping our game, but the bottom 80% of guys will always have more of a struggle regardless. The top 20% are the really good looking ones, who actually get loads of messages on dating sites from women by just showing their picture.
> 
> I could say more but might get a warning, modern society is broken, either be part of it or fail though. Make the most of what you have, nearly every guy could get a girlfriend if they try to improve their life enough.


How can you blame feminism when feminism made it OK for women to have sex without stigma? Or at least ideally I would think that's one of its goals.

If anything you should blame this idea of "game" and all who participate in it. Charisma, sure, but "game" seems deceptive and like you're choosing not to be yourself.

And all societies have always required concessions from those who participate successfully. If anything, there are more ways to be different and survive now then in the past. 150 years ago I would have been lynched just for being black and having an opinion.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Oh dear, some of the posts in this thread lol.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Oh dear, some of the posts in this thread lol.


Which ones? lol.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

zstandig said:


> People in general seemed to be able to connect easier a long time ago.


True. Everyone is so isolated from each other now.


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## lostfromreality731 (Jan 3, 2013)

Jesuszilla said:


> As someone who was hit on by a confident woman its greatly appreciated that she made the first move


I would be very flattered and would appreciate a woman making the first move. But to hope and expect that is just not worth wasting time and energy.

Its safe to say that in modern society the man is expected to be a 'man' and make all the moves, do all the sweeping etc, while the girl gets her 'dream man'. this goes against feminism in a way, which supports more than women are just as capable of approaching a man, but its still much harder for a guy to get a girl due to women waiting to be hit on, if this fails then she just waits for the next bloke who can prove he is more confident


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## lostfromreality731 (Jan 3, 2013)

arnie said:


> True. Everyone is so isolated from each other now.


In many ways in regards to real interactions but very much more 'connected' by machines and systems


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

chaos_preacher said:


> In many ways in regards to real interactions* but very much more 'connected' by machines and systems*


Damn, we living in the Matrix brah ? :b

j/k, I get what you mean. Even when people are out and about nowadays they're glued to their smart phones/wearing headphones and such.


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## secondheadstatus (Sep 19, 2013)

Dude, right now. At present time. We have the most chance of getting a girl in in whole universe. There has never been a time in the past where the BETA male is considered attractive. 

Right now, it is attractive to a female for a guy be submissive and feminine. They want to nurture a tough guy..thats their ultimate goal...but they will settle for bisexuals, gay guys, old guys too, because that is what females do...that is, until you tell them what to do.

But in all seriousness, today is the most easiest time to get a girl. If you can't, keep coming up with more excuses for the rest of your life. I mean, the history is there.


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## lostfromreality731 (Jan 3, 2013)

Paper Samurai said:


> Damn, we living in the Matrix brah ? :b
> 
> j/k, I get what you mean. Even when people are out and about nowadays they're glued to their smart phones/wearing headphones and such.


People are completely different over the internet. People post random rubbish on social networking sites (i dont even want to say the name of the site I hate it so much) A bland society of cyber maniacs


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## theCARS1979 (Apr 26, 2010)

This thread just makes me want to give up totally


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

I actually think its easier than before... there are so many opportunities to meet people and travel now that were not available in the past. Alright there are cases where it would have been easier to find a partner in the past, for example arranged marriages for strategic reasons. But for the most part, I think it is easier now.

I don't believe you have to be perfect in the eyes of your partner, you just have to be perceived to be making an effort and caring about his/her happiness and desires. I guess you could say there is more choice these days which is a negative if you are with or are an indecisive person. But for me its a good thing, I get to talk to vasts amount of girls and choose who I like the best.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

If you're an average looking male with severe social anxiety, yes more than ever. Because of the competition of other men getting her attention much more easily than you can ever hope to do, if you try, you'll most likely just come off as a creep due to your shyness. People may think it's easier because of technology and chatting online or texting, yet bear in mind, normal people, better people, are chatting her up and you are nothing but a blimp on the radar. If you're serious about getting a girlfriend, you're going to have to work really, really hard, to the point even you will gain self-esteem and regard yourself as "normal" in today's society standards.

Change the things you can change, out of shape? Exercise
Need more money? Work more
Need more knowledge? Study
Need better conversational skills? Practice talking to people that make you feel nervous.

Life is trial and error, in this world, you must be willing to sacrifice a lot in order to obtain contentment, even after that, as a human, you will always desire more.


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