# How do you wipe yourself?



## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

Can't really understand how people just walk in, do number 2 but 1 minute later they are out so fast with only 1 or 2 times wiping dry? Water + Soap on the toilet paper several times is the best technique to use, but people only use dry? That means they didn't clean themselves correctly because dry doesn't clean all of it. Gross.


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## creasy (Oct 29, 2012)

Two wads TP back to front, two sheets wet paper towels back to front. Yeah I know front to back is cleaner for the ol' testes but I don't have that kind of coordination. 

Baby wipes are ideal though. Why that isn't the standard I'll never know.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Dry, sometimes wet.

Wow - this is going pretty far into the theme.


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

Don't do back to front. :no


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## newusernamethatdoesntexi (Jun 15, 2013)

I don't see baby wipes on that list.


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## creasy (Oct 29, 2012)

mark101 said:


> You've got it back to front there mate


These British subtleties...I can't...


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## ASB20 (Jun 5, 2013)

Standing, front to back, until there's barely anything on the TP.

I'm heavily responsible for deforestation with the amount of TP I use.


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## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

Is this what SAS has come to now? :lol


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## Owl-99 (Mar 7, 2012)

Enough said.


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## ASB20 (Jun 5, 2013)

tannasg said:


> Enough said.


You use a dog for the job? :afr


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## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

ASB20 said:


> You use a dog for the job? :afr


Dogs can really get those hard to reach spots.

Here Fido! Here boy!












RadnessaurousRex said:


> Baby wipes, also I wipe my butt standing  .How you guys wipe your angus sitting down is beyond me lol.


Yeah don't see how people wipe sitting down. Impossibru!


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

If you really must know, I prop my right leg up on the wall, get out my mirror (that I carry around for just this purpose) and I very carefully scour my crack with a Brillo Pad and bleach wipes.


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## CrimsonTrigger (Jun 28, 2011)

Wet toilet paper, then I take a shower, using lots of soap. I'll never understand how people can get in and out so fast. I'm usually in there for at least a half hour just to make sure I'm as clean as I can possibly be. My mom probably thinks I'm weird. I don't care. I'm obsessed with cleanliness. One of the reasons why I refuse to use public toilets for doing that.

We live in the 21st century. I'm taking advantage of my luxuries.


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## Banzai (Jun 4, 2009)

Wait, what? There is such a practice as wetting the toilet paper? PEOPLE DO THAT?? :eek How do you people cope in a public toilet or if the sink is at the opposite end of where the toilet is? 

And like, won't the toilet paper get torn easily and there will be little bits everywhere?


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## housebunny (Oct 22, 2010)

WillYouStopDave said:


> If you really must know, I prop my right leg up on the wall, get out my mirror (that I carry around for just this purpose) and I very carefully scour my crack with a Brillo Pad and bleach wipes.


Can't stop laughing!:haha


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

inb4someonewithascatfetish


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## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

ASB20 said:


> I'm heavily responsible for deforestation with the amount of TP I use.





CrimsonTrigger said:


> I'll never understand how people can get in and out so fast. I'm usually in there for at least a half hour just to make sure I'm as clean as I can possibly be.


same here.

I'll use wipes if they're available but I've never heard of this soap and wet paper thing... how exactly does that work when you're sitting on the toilet? Especially in public washrooms? Wouldn't you have to get off the seat to do all the prep work? Gross.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

Twelve Keyz said:


> same here.
> 
> I'll use wipes if they're available but I've never heard of this soap and wet paper thing... how exactly does that work when you're sitting on the toilet? Especially in public washrooms? Wouldn't you have to get off the seat to do all the prep work? Gross.


Um... no. In public places just get the paper towel from the dispenser, like 10 of them and wet them with hot water plus the hand soap. Just use 1 of those folded on each toilet paper use to wipe. That's it.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

CrimsonTrigger said:


> Wet toilet paper, then I take a shower, using lots of soap. I'll never understand how people can get in and out so fast. I'm usually in there for at least a half hour just to make sure I'm as clean as I can possibly be. My mom probably thinks I'm weird. I don't care. I'm obsessed with cleanliness. One of the reasons why I refuse to use public toilets for doing that.
> 
> We live in the 21st century. I'm taking advantage of my luxuries.


toilet seat covers


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## Raphael200 (Aug 18, 2012)

probably offline said:


> inb4someonewithascatfetish


,Well,I am severely insulted!


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## Paper Samurai (Oct 1, 2009)

Just as a random piece of info - apparently you're not suppose to use soap up your butt because it will dry you out.


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## Twelve Keyz (Aug 28, 2011)

MobiusX said:


> Um... no. In public places just get the paper towel from the dispenser, like 10 of them and wet them with hot water plus the hand soap. Just use 1 of those folded on each toilet paper use to wipe. That's it.


oh, I see. Maybe I will experiment. But honestly, wet wipes seems like a better solution if that's what you're into...


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

Twelve Keyz said:


> oh, I see. Maybe I will experiment. But honestly, wet wipes seems like a better solution if that's what you're into...


it costs a lot but in public places like the job, it would be weird to walk in the bathroom with a pack of wet wipes and walk out being seen with it


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

MobiusX said:


> Can't really understand how people just walk in, do number 2 but 1 minute later they are out so fast with only 1 or 2 times wiping dry? Water + Soap on the toilet paper several times is the best technique to use, but people only use dry? That means they didn't clean themselves correctly because dry doesn't clean all of it. Gross.


Some people's poop comes out 'clean'. Meaning that it doesn't smear on the anus.


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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

Srs. Carry this around with you. It's 1000x better than toilet paper.


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## Noll (Mar 29, 2011)

i wipe like crazy cause i'm all OCD when it comes to this. needs to be 100% 'clean'. in the past it ended up with my ******* starting to bleed... but now i've started with water so it's easier. instead of wiping for 30 minutes i wipe for 15 or 20...

seriously people how do you not wipe 100%. it itches like crazy and feels gross and smelly.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

MobiusX said:


> Um... no. In public places just get the paper towel from the dispenser, like 10 of them and wet them with hot water plus the hand soap. Just use 1 of those folded on each toilet paper use to wipe. That's it.


This would be embarrassing to go out, get towels, and then go back in the stall to finish cleaning!



MobiusX said:


> toilet seat covers


They're called POTTY PROTECTION PAPERS! :doh :fall :lol


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

nubly said:


> Some people's poop comes out 'clean'. Meaning that it doesn't smear on the anus.


 This ain't gonna happen if you have a big patch of butthair.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

Noll said:


> i wipe like crazy cause i'm all OCD when it comes to this. needs to be 100% 'clean'. in the past it ended up with my ******* starting to bleed... but now i've started with water so it's easier. instead of wiping for 30 minutes i wipe for 15 or 20...
> 
> seriously people how do you not wipe 100%. it itches like crazy and feels gross and smelly.


same, ever used body wash? lol.


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## Noll (Mar 29, 2011)

MobiusX said:


> same, ever used body wash? lol.


yeah i clean everywhere everyday but i don't wanna use that after pooping. feels too messy, unless i wipe.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

with a flamingo. consequently, I can never check into a five star hotel without a sense of disappointment.


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## Zeppelin (Jan 23, 2012)

Where is the option for "left hand"?


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Water and soap? I have never heard that in my entire life.

Scrunched right hand front to rear ftw.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

Well, this is a very informative thread.
x_x


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

WillYouStopDave said:


> This ain't gonna happen if you have a big patch of butthair.


Just another reason to shave body hair.


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

I've always wanted one of those water spouts that komorikun raves about.


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## Hyperborea (Aug 28, 2011)

Nekomata said:


> Well, this is a very informative thread.
> x_x


Indeed. Must be great to be so open about.. all things.


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## typemismatch (May 30, 2012)

I have my butler do it. It can sometimes be a bit cramped when we are in a cubicle, especially if it's one of those ones on the plane. The flight attendants frown upon it, but I explain to them that he is my butler and he always comes with me when I take a ****.


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## Alone75 (Jul 29, 2013)

Dry and then finish with a wet.


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## leonardess (Jun 30, 2009)

^ that's hot.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

ManOfFewWords said:


> I've always wanted one of those water spouts that komorikun raves about.


Yeah. They are very convenient. Much better than bidets. You can buy them here too but probably more expensive. My previous Japanese roommate in SF had one installed in his bathroom. (I looked at his room while he was at work.)


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

Ehh, if I'm in a public restroom, I'm not going to walk out of the stall with TP, soak it in a bit of water and then walk back again to clean my ***... Sometimes you just go with dry.

Now if I'm home, definitely use wipes.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

komorikun said:


> Yeah. They are very convenient. Much better than bidets. You can buy them here too but probably more expensive. My previous Japanese roommate in SF had one installed in his bathroom. (I looked at his room while he was at work.)


 Please, please, PLEASE tell me you played with it!


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

WillYouStopDave said:


> Please, please, PLEASE tell me you played with it!


Played with it? What? You mean change the temp to boiling hot or?


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## Silent Image (Dec 22, 2010)

This is disgusting lol

Who loves the ghost poop though? Nothing on the toilet paper after one wipe


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Silent Image said:


> This is disgusting lol
> 
> Who loves the ghost poop though? Nothing on the toilet paper after one wipe


You look at the toilet paper after each wipe???


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

komorikun said:


> Played with it? What? You mean change the temp to boiling hot or?


 No. I didn't know you could do that. If I knew someone who had one of those, I think I'd feel compelled to take it for a test drive.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Silent Image said:


> This is disgusting lol
> 
> Who loves the ghost poop though? Nothing on the toilet paper after one wipe


 What about the ones that make a really loud splash but there's almost nothing in the bowl when you look?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

WillYouStopDave said:


> No. I didn't know you could do that. If I knew someone who had one of those, I think I'd feel compelled to take it for a test drive.


I used them in Japan, so I didn't need to try out my roommate's.


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## typemismatch (May 30, 2012)

This is how english premier league footballers do it.


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## Silent Image (Dec 22, 2010)

AussiePea said:


> You look at the toilet paper after each wipe???


How are you to know you are clean otherwise?


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## Dark Alchemist (Jul 10, 2011)

MobiusX said:


> it costs a lot but in public places like the job, it would be weird to walk in the bathroom with a pack of wet wipes and walk out being seen with it


They have small packs that can fit in your pocket.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

Dark Alchemist said:


> They have small packs that can fit in your pocket.


okay, saw it but it still costs a lot while the water plus soap technique is free.


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## Melvin1 (Jul 12, 2013)

Dry toilet paper,and then I take a shower..


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

komorikun said:


> I used them in Japan, so I didn't need to try out my roommate's.


 OK. Really. I just thought it'd be kind of cool if you did.


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## Alas Babylon (Aug 28, 2012)




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## frank81 (Dec 1, 2011)

At home, I either use water & soap, or dry toilet paper. In a public restroom, I'll just use toilet paper or paper towel. If toilet paper is not available or used up, then just wash with water & wash my hands afterwards.


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## Monotony (Mar 11, 2012)

That's what servants are for.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

came into thread hoping to see a post from the user "ineverwipe", skimmed, havent seen




















leaving disgusted


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## tlgibson97 (Sep 24, 2009)

I never thought taking a crap was such a big event for some people. Just wipe until the paper comes out clean. Wet TP just dissolves and comes apart. The things I learn about people here.


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## AceEmoKid (Apr 27, 2012)

WillYouStopDave said:


> If you really must know, I prop my right leg up on the wall, get out my mirror (that I carry around for just this purpose) and I very carefully scour my crack with a Brillo Pad and bleach wipes.


Um, same here :um

Then I take two showers, the first a preliminary for getting the superficial remnants off, then a second to do the "deep scrubbing." After than I take a chemical bath to ensure I'm sparkling clean.

....Really I'm quite appalled many of you don't do the same.


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## Diáfanos (Feb 3, 2011)

hose, lmfao

_

soggy anus_


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## Lonelyguy (Nov 8, 2003)




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## zomgz (Aug 17, 2009)

#sorich


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## Pompeii (Aug 25, 2013)

Rabbits. Fluffy rabbits.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

If you wipe front to back you can use some of the pee on the tp to wipe your ***.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

mark101 said:


> Lovely


Better than dry wiping, no?


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## Kalliber (Aug 18, 2012)

Oh my...


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## Mike81 (Aug 27, 2013)

MobiusX said:


> Um... no. In public places just get the paper towel from the dispenser, like 10 of them and wet them with hot water plus the hand soap. Just use 1 of those folded on each toilet paper use to wipe. That's it.


You flush 10 paper towels?
I'll bet the plumbers love that.


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## nrelax11 (Jun 9, 2013)

komorikun said:


> If you wipe front to back you can use some of the pee on the tp to wipe your ***.


Lol

Well I use toilet paper and my moms vagina wipes ahahah. Its basically wet cloths.


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## MobiusX (Nov 14, 2008)

Mike81 said:


> You flush 10 paper towels?
> I'll bet the plumbers love that.


not at one time...


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## Mousy (Oct 19, 2013)

People wipe sitting down???


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Thats why we shower.


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## Kalliber (Aug 18, 2012)

mark101 said:


> Really?


Yes they do o_o not me though


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## Kalliber (Aug 18, 2012)

mark101 said:


> How does one get one's hand between butt and seat and execute a successful wipe? :afr


DUde i have no clue..scary


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## Scruffy The Janitor (Oct 21, 2013)

nubly said:


> Some people's poop comes out 'clean'. Meaning that it doesn't smear on the anus.


Me very jealous :um


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## IddaKnoe (Sep 29, 2013)

I'm a bit shocked no one has mentioned that the "flushable" wet wipes aren't as harmless as they claim. See one of many articles about it here. Apparently a lot of city sewer systems are having issues with them getting caught then accumulating in bulk down there. It's costing them a lot of money to remove the clog, and repair the damage. Personally, I think poor infrastructure could be just as much to blame, and studies should touch on that too. I've also read they aren't very good for septic tanks. I (more to the point my wallet) would hate to find that out the hard way.

Regardless of your choice, it's something to keep in mind, especially if you do have a septic system.


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## TheBigH (Oct 14, 2013)

Holy **** you can wipe with wet toilet paper? I'm doing that from now on.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

I thought this was the great sitting vs standing debate again.


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## nullptr (Sep 21, 2012)

h00dz said:


> Is this what SAS has come to now? :lol


I'm thinking the same thing. This forum is comedic genius.


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## NeverAFrown_00 (Nov 21, 2012)

Where's the option for "I use a bidet to wash my genitals and anal region, then dry off with toilet paper?"


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Wheres the option for sandpaper?


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## CWe (Mar 7, 2010)

I use leaves i get from outside to wipe all that sh** off


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Wipe it, wipe it good.

*ducks*


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## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

Rich91 said:


> Wheres the option for sandpaper?


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

CWe said:


> I use leaves i get from outside to wipe all that sh** off


Yeah, LEAVES is not a choice in the voting! :lol
It's BIOdegradable. :haha


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## LydeaCharlotteGirl (Aug 27, 2013)

Always just dry paper. Though I once used to use bracken or other leaves when crapping in the open air on school camping trips.


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## Donkeybutt (May 3, 2013)

Sitting down, front to back with a dry piece of TP. Unless I suffer a severe diarrhea attack, I usually have a clean *** even after the first wipe, so I usually get out quickly.


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## karenw (Aug 20, 2012)

I got a self cleaning ***. Pebble dashing alert.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

karenw said:


> I got a self cleaning ***. Pebble dashing alert.


Me 2 .


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## karenw (Aug 20, 2012)

Yes but I poop freesias do you?


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## 337786 (Nov 6, 2013)

haha lol that made me laugh^


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

Alas Babylon said:


>


:lol my thoughts exactly


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## LittleTortillaBoy (Dec 20, 2013)

Clean myself with dry toilet paper.If things get really messy I jump in the shower.


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