# Don't Dare Ask Me A Dang Thing



## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Nope..don't you do it. I won't answer it if ya did..just try me...I mean... no..don't try me.

(Changes of mods deleting thread...75%)


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## Surly Wurly (May 9, 2015)

hi kyle

nice day buddy

yup


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## Lolpingu (Oct 13, 2014)

Why don't you want people to ask you something?


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## Wings of Amnesty (Aug 5, 2015)

So then you ask the questions.

This is the name of Kyle's favorite tv program.


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## that weird guy (Aug 14, 2015)

is that Lake Ozark behind you, looks nice,hows the fishing.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Surly Wurly said:


> hi kyle
> 
> nice day buddy
> 
> yup


Peachy keen...you know... I want to come visit sometime. I don't know what kind of crazy party it'd be, but I'd love to bend elbows at a pub with you, @HanSolo, @twitchy666, or any of the other UKites willing to come by.

Sure...we may end up just staring at each other, but that's fine too. Maybe we can be Han's wingman...poor muffin needs it so bad.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Lolpingu said:


> Why don't you want people to ask you something?


Hmm...I was just feeling saucy in response to the recent "Ask me" threads that started popping up.

Saucy and cheesy...well...maybe more cheesy than saucy. Who can really know these food related emotional analogs?


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Wings of Amnesty said:


> So then you ask the questions.
> 
> This is the name of Kyle's favorite tv program.


Exactly...just like those bad detective shows. "Quiet you!, I'll be the one asking the questions around here!"

I'm bad at naming favorites of anything...favorite song, movie, actor, etc. I always think that if I name it, someone will be all like "you're a douche...that song sucks."

Yeah..SA...good times.


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## Surly Wurly (May 9, 2015)

KyleInSTL said:


> Peachy keen...you know... I want to come visit sometime. I don't know what kind of crazy party it'd be, but I'd love to bend elbows at a pub with you, @HanSolo, @twitchy666, or any of the other UKites willing to come by.
> 
> Sure...we may end up just staring at each other, but that's fine too. Maybe we can be Han's wingman...poor muffin needs it so bad.


i didnt know han was from the uk


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

that weird guy said:


> is that Lake Ozark behind you, looks nice,hows the fishing.


Why, yes it is "The Lake of the Ozarks" behind me. I do enjoy hanging out here, but I have to confess I've been having the rent-free, though pride swallowing, pleasure of staying at my parent's vacation condo after I sold a house and duplex post divorce. Still need to figure out what I'll do longer term after I finish up my paramedic license (soon) and go to full time hours (better be friggin soon)

So, yeah...the lake is a wonderful consolation prize to my otherwise late life tale of woe...oh wellsies as the kiddles say. (No, they probably don't say it, but sounds like what they would say, right?)

Oh....I don't fish. Plenty others do and enjoy it; however. I've thought about it, but then just haven't.


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## Gojira (Jun 1, 2015)

There was a thread toward the beginning of my time here when you asked if the stigma between middle aged men and 18-20ish year old women was valid.

Has this view changed?


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Gojira said:


> There was a thread toward the beginning of my time here when you asked if the stigma between middle aged men and 18-20ish year old women was valid.
> 
> Has this view changed?


My thread wasn't questioning the stigma. It was questioning why posters would come here to seek acceptance for dating someone with an age gap to themselves. It was questioning why someone would allow themselves to be controlled by society's expectations of themselves.

Outside of the laws that restrict our freedoms and a smattering of social norms that govern decency, respect, and kindness among it's members, I'm disappointed (in myself as well) when we seek validation or permission for our own behaviors if we fear that "society" might scorn us.


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Are you a virgin or not?


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

What do you think about the colour yellow?

Mwahahahahahaha I asked you a question.



Surly Wurly said:


> i didnt know han was from the uk


This has blown my mind.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Imbored21 said:


> Are you a virgin or not?


LOL...no seriously...lmao.

I'm not a virgin...not since sophomore year of college. I've had two marriages and one other long term relationship. While not nearly as adventurous as @TenYears (mad respect, friend), I've had a good variety of sexual experiences.

I'm no longer young like most of y'all here...I'm not fit...I'm marginally handsome, if I do say so myself, and I still have some success in relationships because I see life partners as those that I find to be friends first and lovers second. Respect.

So...looks don't make the man...and doesn't guarantee love.

An attitude adjustment by many here might be the real solution to their problems in finding someone.


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## Gojira (Jun 1, 2015)

KyleInSTL said:


> My thread wasn't questioning the stigma. It was questioning why posters would come here to seek acceptance for dating someone with an age gap to themselves. It was questioning why someone would allow themselves to be controlled by society's expectations of themselves.
> 
> Outside of the laws that restrict our freedoms and a smattering of social norms that govern decency, respect, and kindness among it's members, I'm disappointed (in myself as well) when we seek validation or permission for our own behaviors if we fear that "society" might scorn us.


Oh, alright, you're saying that posters shouldn't have to ask for advice if they wanted date much younger women (to use the example of your thread) they shouldn't need societies ok, they should just do it.

I can imagine it's still a pretty grey area that people might want advice about whether their attractions are right or not, though.

I say this because many, and ofc not all women feel the age gap is inappropriate or "creepy".


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## that weird guy (Aug 14, 2015)

why are you still answering questions when you clearly said you would not?:surprise:


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## darkangelrebekah7 (Jul 15, 2015)

KyleInSTL said:


> Nope..don't you do it. I won't answer it if ya did..just try me...I mean... no..don't try me.
> 
> (Changes of mods deleting thread...75%)


lol! you're crazy!


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## Surly Wurly (May 9, 2015)

Persephone The Dread said:


> This has blown my mind.


can me and you meet up, and invite han, just to see what he ends up posting about us on here?


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Surly Wurly said:


> can me and you meet up, and invite han, just to see what he ends up posting about us on here?


If the idea didn't terrify me, I'd be seriously tempted.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

how do you put up with us young people


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## Surly Wurly (May 9, 2015)

Persephone The Dread said:


> If the idea didn't terrify me, I'd be seriously tempted.


lol the terror is the fun part


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

that weird guy said:


> why are you still answering questions when you clearly said you would not?:surprise:


Why are you still asking me questions about me answering questions when I clearly requested that nobody ask me questions?


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

gopherinferno said:


> how do you put up with us young people


About as well as you put up with us old people. With the exception that it's slightly easier for me since I rapidly forget things.

What were we talking about? Who are you!?! Get off my lawn!


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> What do you think about the colour yellow?
> 
> Mwahahahahahaha I asked you a question.


It's for cowards I tell ya!



Persephone The Dread said:


> This has blown my mind.


Yeah..am I wrong about Han? Besides, I thought all the UK people knew ALL the names of their countrypersons...and not just the ones from SAS. #loweredexpectations


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## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

What's it like being an EMT? Was it difficult to obtain the job? Do you enjoy doing what you do? (Aspiring firefighter here so don't spare any details please.  )


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## Mattsy94 (Feb 11, 2013)

May I ask you a question, sir?


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Mattsy94 said:


> May I ask you a question, sir?


Well, since you asked so nicely..no.

Just kidding, of course...but nope.

Alright, just this once.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

iCod said:


> What's it like being an EMT? Was it difficult to obtain the job? Do you enjoy doing what you do? (Aspiring firefighter here so don't spare any details please.  )


Getting the license was a bit time consuming, but not difficult. If you keep up with the class assignments, are willing to ask questions, and really have an interest in the field of work, then getting an EMT license is relatively easy. Same for getting a paramedic license, but just more intense and 10 times more difficult, but still doable. The job market is very competitive and getting a position varies with the market you're in. I feel very lucky and fortunate to have gotten the EMT spot I did.

I'm not quite done with my first year of being an EMT, but I generally enjoy what I do. I like feeling like I'm helping people even if I may or may not actually be helping people or if people may not seem grateful for the help. I like that the schedule is irregular. I like that the job presents new challenges every day. I like that I'm no longer stuck in an office.

Firefighter roles are similar. I think the greatest challenge in both roles is the coworker socialization that seems requisite in establishing the tightest relationships. I'm doing "ok" with it, but it's stressful at the same time to engage in the kind of banter that seems to be expected of you. I have no issue with talking to patients...and I can talk to my coworkers, but I'm still far from being all buddy-buddy with my coworkers. They like and respect me, but I doubt I'll be going to anyone's house for BBQ anytime soon.

Good luck on your efforts to reach your dreams.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

darkangelrebekah7 said:


> lol! you're crazy!


Thanks for not putting that in the form of a question, i.e. "Are you crazy?" or "How long have you been this crazy?" or "Given your level of crazy, what kinds of cray cray things do you do?" or "You're crazy...please don't hurt me, please?"


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

KyleInSTL said:


> Thanks for not putting that in the form of a question, i.e. *"Are you crazy?"* or *"How long have you been this crazy?"* or *"Given your level of crazy, what kinds of cray cray things do you do?"* or *"You're crazy...please don't hurt me, please?"*


those are all valid questions actually and i would like some answers if you would be so kind as to respond to them, kind sir


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## darkangelrebekah7 (Jul 15, 2015)

KyleInSTL said:


> Thanks for not putting that in the form of a question, i.e. "Are you crazy?" or "How long have you been this crazy?" or "Given your level of crazy, what kinds of cray cray things do you do?" or "You're crazy...please don't hurt me, please?"


lmfao! You're Welcome!


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## darkangelrebekah7 (Jul 15, 2015)

KyleInSTL said:


> Getting the license was a bit time consuming, but not difficult. If you keep up with the class assignments, are willing to ask questions, and really have an interest in the field of work, then getting an EMT license is relatively easy. Same for getting a paramedic license, but just more intense and 10 times more difficult, but still doable. The job market is very competitive and getting a position varies with the market you're in. I feel very lucky and fortunate to have gotten the EMT spot I did.
> 
> I'm not quite done with my first year of being an EMT, but I generally enjoy what I do. I like feeling like I'm helping people even if I may or may not actually be helping people or if people may not seem grateful for the help. I like that the schedule is irregular. I like that the job presents new challenges every day. I like that I'm no longer stuck in an office.
> 
> ...


Man Kyle I feel the exact same way. I'm out of college now and have new start with my relationships with my co-workers. But on a personal level I just can't seem to relate, my new co-workers are cool/normal. But as far as going to social events, I really don't have any desire to.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

bad baby said:


> those are all valid questions actually and i would like some answers if you would be so kind as to respond to them, kind sir


I'm not crazy in the conventional sense of crazy...I mean in the society's view of crazy. What I mean to say, is that I'm neither a party guy who "get's crazy" or am I the guy who drives around looking for his next victim kind of crazy.

I'm probably crazy in that..."Um...did you say something, I wasn't listening to you, Kyle" kind of crazy. You know...the easily ignored kind of crazy.

We'll go with Milton kind of crazy...yeah.


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## bittersweetavenue (Jan 1, 2015)

Can I please be the surrogate of your next baby? I need to put something on my résumé.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

darkangelrebekah7 said:


> Man Kyle I feel the exact same way. I'm out of college now and have new start with my relationships with my co-workers. But on a personal level I just can't seem to relate, my new co-workers are cool/normal. But as far as going to social events, I really don't have any desire to.


Yeah, there have been several opportunities to socialize recently with people leaving the ambulance service...or a recently announced Christmas party.

In both cases, I tend to avoid them as if someone took a dump in the middle of the venue. Not my scene, man.

So...I tend to accept that my chronic friendlessness is of my own making.

I've accepted that I won't be the life of the workplace. I'm satisfied with being liked, respected, and hopefully not the guy that they tear to shreds the moment I walk out of the room as is done too frequently in group conversations.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

bittersweetavenue said:


> Can I please be the surrogate of your next baby? I need to put something on my résumé.


I apologize...my head just exploded. I'm still listening, though...


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

Um...did you say something, I wasn't listening to you, Kyle.


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

bittersweetavenue said:


> Can I please be the surrogate of your next baby? I need to put something on my résumé.


This is _beautiful._


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

bad baby said:


> Um...did you say something, I wasn't listening to you, Kyle.


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)




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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

bad baby said:


>


Umm...yeah....I'm going to need you to come into SAS on Saturday...alright? Good...yeah.


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## bittersweetavenue (Jan 1, 2015)

KyleInSTL said:


> I apologize...my head just exploded. I'm still listening, though...


Well I need to spruce up my résumé (you know how hard it is to get a decent job these days and I always see you helping people out on here so one more couldn't hurt) and I thought, what can people not live without that'd make my résumé stand out? Humans. Nothing we've created and lived for would exist without humans. So I'd like to grow a human for you. Think of it as farming a baby for you and your significant other for about 9 months and that'd be 9 months of working to protect something. A win-win for everyone. Of course I'd need his (your SO's) consent as well but that shouldn't be a problem, I hope?


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

KyleInSTL said:


> Umm...yeah....I'm going to need you to come into SAS on Saturday...alright? Good...yeah.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

reaffected said:


>


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## darkangelrebekah7 (Jul 15, 2015)

KyleInSTL said:


> Yeah, there have been several opportunities to socialize recently with people leaving the ambulance service...or a recently announced Christmas party.
> 
> In both cases, I tend to avoid them as if someone took a dump in the middle of the venue. Not my scene, man.
> 
> ...


Nah, just from you typing you seem like a normal guy to me. And obviously to your co-workers as well, otherwise you'd be ostracized. I doubt very seriously they talk **** behind your back. When it comes to stuff like going to parties, I guess it is a good idea to attend just to get in good with your boss/co-workers. But what it really comes down to is what you ultimately want out of life. I guess we don't really actually know what we want until we try. We who have social anxiety have to remember though, just like any other disease this needs to be fixed, and we know what to do to fix it...face our fears. However, sometimes it's not even the fact that we have a "disease"....some people just don't really like going to social events, talking to strangers, and not everyone has to hold the whole "employee banter" with pride...it's really okay to just..be who you are. The workplace can really make people feel as (people like us that is) though being different is not okay.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

bittersweetavenue said:


> Well I need to spruce up my résumé (you know how hard it is to get a decent job these days and I always see you helping people out on here so one more couldn't hurt) and I thought, what can people not live without that'd make my résumé stand out? Humans. Nothing we've created and lived for would exist without humans. So I'd like to grow a human for you. Think of it as farming a baby for you and your significant other for about 9 months and that'd be 9 months of working to protect something. A win-win for everyone. Of course I'd need his (your SO's) consent as well but that shouldn't be a problem, I hope?


Yeah, but are we talking test tubes and lab coats or candlelight and Rohypnol?

Didn't I just finish explaining my particular lack of crazy?


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

darkangelrebekah7 said:


> Nah, just from you typing you seem like a normal guy to me.


Dang...you want to get me kicked out of here?

There are some among us who are very sensitive to the "normies"!

oh...and...being "normal" online is easier to accomplish than in real life. Here, I have time to craft, edit, and re-craft...and I have access to the occassional .gif to really underscore a point.

If it's just me...in a room...with my mouth on my head with my non-normie brain...whoa nelly.


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## darkangelrebekah7 (Jul 15, 2015)

KyleInSTL said:


>


Ahhhh...hahaha!!


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## darkangelrebekah7 (Jul 15, 2015)

bad baby said:


>


Aw hell yeah...


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## darkangelrebekah7 (Jul 15, 2015)

KyleInSTL said:


> Dang...you want to get me kicked out of here?
> 
> There are some among us who are very sensitive to the "normies"!
> 
> ...


Okay, okay...sorry for saying you're "normal", lol!...What I meant to say was that you seem like a "good guy" to me...and as for normal...normal, but only to us "abnormies"...if you will...


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## bittersweetavenue (Jan 1, 2015)

KyleInSTL said:


> Yeah, but are we talking test tubes and lab coats or candlelight and Rohypnol?
> 
> Didn't I just finish explaining my particular lack of crazy?


What's crazy about this? If you'd like, I can refer you and your husband? to several surrogacy clinics within your vicinity and multiple links detailing everything you need to know about it. It'd also be my pleasure to book an appointment with them if you have any further questions you need answered by a doctor.

This'll be great! You'll get a little half Kyle and I'll get a better résumé! Would it be too much to ask for a letter of recommendation too? I'm hoping that the science behind it all will help when I join NASA to make spaceships. Do keep in touch and inform your partner!


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

KyleInSTL said:


>


LOL, Kyle you're awesome! 









^ also how I feel on SAS at times. Not now, no, this thread is golden.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

bittersweetavenue said:


> What's crazy about this? If you'd like, I can refer you and your husband? to several surrogacy clinics within your vicinity and multiple links detailing everything you need to know about it. It'd also be my pleasure to book an appointment with them if you have any further questions you need answered by a doctor.
> 
> This'll be great! You'll get a little half Kyle and I'll get a better résumé! Would it be too much to ask for a letter of recommendation too? I'm hoping that the science behind it all will help when I join NASA to make spaceships. Do keep in touch and inform your partner!


Well, should I desire both a mini-me and enter into a same sex union (as you seem to assume), you'll be at the top of the list.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

KyleInSTL said:


> I've had two marriages and one other long term relationship. While not nearly as adventurous as @*TenYears* (mad respect, friend), I've had a good variety of sexual experiences.


Nah lmao, I'm not that adventurous, girls I hook up with just seem to be freaks. Sex addicts. Idk, maybe I'm a sex addict *shrug* better than being a crackhead I guess. Or an SAS addict. Wait. Wut?

I miss the innocent, naïve 17 year old me. Maybe if I let my inner virgin out, I can sort of go back to that time? Nah. Sometimes....I just feel so....cheap, and used. Like a two-dollar man wh0re in a really bad club on the wrong side of town. I just want a girl to wuv me for who I am. *sob, sniffle*



















You and me and Han should, like, triple date or something. That would be a night I would never forget ffs (not because of you, because of my buddy Han, I've just got to see this guy work his magic on the womenz irl). I'd actually do that before I'd do an SAS meetup or something. But then, nothing I ever did would ever top that. My life would basically be over after that *shrug*


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

As an EMT, do you ever fantasize about rescuing a damsel in distress? Just fess up bro, we know you do  denying is just further proof that you really do. You know you want to be her superman hehehe.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

TenYears said:


> As an EMT, do you ever fantasize about rescuing a damsel in distress? Just fess up bro, we know you do  denying is just further proof that you really do. You know you want to be her superman hehehe.












Yeah....we don't get the kind of calls that lends themselves to that scenario, despite being in a college town of a SEC school. And from what I hear from the night shift who runs on the truck that covers campus, they've had enough of puke covered sorority girls.

No calls that start out like "Oopsie...I seem to have run out of AA batteries, could you..."


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

darkangelrebekah7 said:


> Aw hell yeah...


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## SamanthaStrange (Jan 13, 2015)

Where's your ribbon? Aren't you against AIDS?

How many Today Sponges come in a case?

If someone asks you _"which way is Israel?"_, do you fly off the handle?

Bonus: Where's my f***ing cupcake?


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## Slippin Jimmy (Jun 15, 2013)

Hey Kyle, every time I see your avatar you kinda remind me of either my brother in law or Robert Duvall. My question is what do you do to relax?


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

SamanthaStrange said:


> Where's your ribbon? Aren't you against AIDS?
> 
> How many Today Sponges come in a case?
> 
> ...


In collective response...


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Slippin Jimmy said:


> Hey Kyle, every time I see your avatar you kinda remind me of either my brother in law or Robert Duvall. My question is what do you do to relax?


Hmm...have you ever seen me and your brother in law in the same place at the same time? I could be him.

I guess I could say the same about Robert Duvall, though.

I'm flattered, I think, about the Robert Duvall reference. I liked him most in The Godfather and Apocalypse Now.



















I have a difficult time relaxing...sadly, it mostly takes the form of watching TV or browsing SAS. I'm trying to get back to exercising more, though. Also, cooking is good too. Even baking is better.


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## Slippin Jimmy (Jun 15, 2013)

Perhaps all three? I've never seen you, my brother in law and Robert Duvall in the same room at the same time so who knows.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

How dare you tell me not to ask you a question, Kyle. How dare you! I don't have a question for you anyway so there!


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Darktower776 said:


> How dare you tell me not to ask you a question, Kyle. How dare you! I don't have a question for you anyway so there!


Well, technically, you did have a question for me.

I dare, because I care.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

KyleInSTL said:


> Well, technically, you did have a question for me.
> 
> I dare, because I care.


**Runs outside and throws arms into the air and screams angrily toward the heavens**

KYYYYYYYLLLLLEEEEE!!!!


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Darktower776 said:


> **Runs outside and throws arms into the air and screams angrily toward the heavens**
> 
> KYYYYYYYLLLLLEEEEE!!!!


This deserves the following...


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## Skeletra (Aug 30, 2012)

What's your favourite dinosaur?!


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Skeletra said:


> What's your favourite dinosaur?!


Well, Dino of course!


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## NerdlySquared (Jul 18, 2015)




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## Joe (May 18, 2010)

you are a great guy and the site needs more positive people like yourself


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Joe said:


> you are a great guy and the site needs more positive people like yourself


Thanks, man...that means a lot to me. I do try and be as helpful as I can to 99.9% of the people here. There are a select few that bother me since they seem to want to rip away at the fabric of "support" around here and just be obnoxious and emotionally destructive to others, pick fights, or generally create divides and animosity. And there are some that are shameless trolls, too. Oh well...all part of online life, I guess.


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

*ditto*



Joe said:


> you are a great guy and the site needs more positive people like yourself


:hs


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