# Afraid to leave my room and talk to roommates



## ML2011 (Oct 24, 2011)

Hello,

I moved to a new city less than a month ago, and I'm now living in a house with two other male roommates. I'm having a lot of trouble leaving my room, because I don't want to run into either of them and face the obligation of striking up a conversation. This is handicapping my ability to go out, shop for groceries, become acquainted with my new city, and so on.

Neither roommate is an unpleasant person to talk to: the problem is that I'm incapable of sustaining a normal, fluid conversation. My attempts at doing so always end in an excruciatingly awkward pause, as I try and fail to come up with something to say, and then -- almost without exception -- retreat out of the room/hang up the phone/etc.

The easiest coping strategy, I think, would be to say "Hi"/"See you"/etc. when I pass my roommates by and leave it at that. I would feel more-or-less comfortable doing this, but I'm concerned that both of my roommates will interpret this behavior as hostile, especially in the longer term. Do you think that this is a reasonable concern, or does it depend on the tone of voice/gestures I use when saying "Hi"/etc.?

Let me know if you have any other thoughts on this. I appreciate your time.


----------



## Uffdaa (Aug 20, 2012)

People get offended if I don't at least say hello to them. 

I find that if I just force myself in a sarcastic way I can sometimes get over this stuff but we are all dealing with different stuff. 

For some reason people don't even care that I'm sarcastic as long as I pay attention to them a little bit.


----------



## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

Hi - maybe you could think of some things to talk about with your roommates? Maybe ask them about work or stuff like that. Maybe ask them what sort of things they like to do in their spare time? People often like to talk about themselves, so if you ask them about themselves, most will find something to chat about. If you can learn to talk to people a bit more it will be better for you in other aspects of your life as well.

Or you could talk about the house/flat you live in , or ask them if they would show you around town? You said you're new in town.


----------



## howard26 (Jun 28, 2008)

Don't try too hard to prepare something to say. In my case, i screw it up every time. The way to free yourself from some of the stress is to just tell yourself that you will be totally genuine, and let the chips fall. Yes, there will be an awkward silence, but you'll get better at speaking your mind and being honest. Don't wait for the right time, just head out that door when you have to go somewhere. Take a deep breath and do it. You will not die. If you run into one of them, just nod, acknowledge them, say "what's up", whatever feels right. I've been there. Don't wind yourself up over this.


----------



## zork2001 (Oct 29, 2011)

You can’t say “what up” when you see them?


----------



## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I would find out what they are interested in - see if you guys have something in common. If you are new to the area, have them show you around.
Just small everyday conversations to start. You will be around these guys a lot so if there is anything, you will always know your status.


----------



## Uffdaa (Aug 20, 2012)

This is pretty severe. My neighbor was like this she wouldn't leave her room. She is now on some kind of medication for it and now she can go out and about. She is quite talkative.


----------

