# cant get myself to go to school



## sammy0261 (Oct 14, 2012)

I haven't been at school in a week and a half. I get dressed in the morning to go but then something stops me from continuing to go downstairs, make my lunch and leave. I think one of the reasons is that I have to take a bus and then walk to school. I want to go to school and I need to but something keeps stopping me and I can't take it anymore. I'm probably failing half my classes right now and used to be on the honor role. I'm so angry with myself. I even looked up if I could bring myself to a mental ward just so i dont go to school or they get me homeschooled or something.


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## Micronian (Nov 11, 2004)

sammy0261 said:


> I haven't been at school in a week and a half. I get dressed in the morning to go but then something stops me from continuing to go downstairs, make my lunch and leave. I think one of the reasons is that I have to take a bus and then walk to school. I want to go to school and I need to but something keeps stopping me and I can't take it anymore. I'm probably failing half my classes right now and used to be on the honor role. I'm so angry with myself. I even looked up if I could bring myself to a mental ward just so i dont go to school or they get me homeschooled or something.


You're afraid of something (and, yes, it happens to everyone).

I'm sure you already know exactly what it is. It's just a case of confronting it--and you don't even need to do it by yourself. You have counselors at school and parents and family members who would love nothing more than to help you.

And, by the way, counselors are a good idea because once you're out of school they cost around $100/hr.

Anyway, I remember one time I felt like this very clearly. I was 21, in my university residence, and it was a party night. I got all dressed up to go out--I even put on some new clothes! Then I heard all the guys on my floor drinking and shouting and having a good time and I didn't feel like I belonged with them, and I felt stupid for going out with people I don't like just for the sake of going out. I was afraid I'd completely ruin the mood, that I wouldn't keep up, and that I just woudn't belong. I think that was one of the first times where my brain pretty much shut down and left myself wondering if I was ever going to be truly happy...

but, it passes.


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## sammy0261 (Oct 14, 2012)

The thing is is that I don't think I know what it is. Am I lazy, depressed (side effects from the pills I'm taking for crohns), scared, or all of the above? I don't know what to do and I think to myself sometimes I don't need school because look at all the people making it without school.


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## Micronian (Nov 11, 2004)

sammy0261 said:


> The thing is is that I don't think I know what it is. Am I lazy, depressed (side effects from the pills I'm taking for crohns), scared, or all of the above? I don't know what to do and I think to myself sometimes I don't need school because look at all the people making it without school.


I couldn't stress this enough: School is, by far, the most important thing you will ever do in your life.

...and the people that make it, they don't make it for long. They'd have to be truly exceptional people.

I used to think that I was pretty dumb in high school. My school average was a 67% at best, for most of my 5.5 years (yes, I repeated my final year to bump up my average). Anyway, I got into university, graduated, and found out how hard it was to make a living.

but, the worst part, was running into all the people from high school who used to be so cool, or who never took their schooling to the next level. They were fat, unhappy, and looked like they didn't make enough money to look like they used to in high school. I found it pretty sad when an old friend of mine told me she just got a job at Tim Horton's. She was 34 and had two kids!! oh, geez....:roll

Whatever it is that's keeping you from school, you need to solve it. It won't happen overnight, of course, but, in a way, it's part of your own personal job to get to the bottom of what is bothering you--with the goal of having you enjoy school and squeezing out all your potential.


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## zrichardson1 (Jun 29, 2012)

do you think its more lack of motivation or anxiety holding you back? personally ive stopped going to school because of the anxiety dealing with it each and everday . its exhausting. but before the anxiety i had lack of motivation anyways. i just dont see the point, you may have depression. talk to those close to you and tell them how you are feeling. It doesnt sound like your just being lazy theres a real reason. If you talk to your school counsellor you can request leave. and do work at home for a few weeks. whatever the root of your problem is try to figure it out and work on it. I know how you feel and best of luck


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## TSpes (Jan 20, 2013)

i know what you mean. every week for me is endless hell, and it just keeps getting worse. i keep telling myself i'll survive this week, because the next one is gonna be better, but the next one turns out even worse. it's like i have 12 hours every day devoted entirely to hating myself, and then some more when i get home.


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