# How to Weed Out the BAD Guys - tips for a single woman



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Let me preface this by saying, this frustration is not coming from a completely misguided basis in reality but I have a really hard time finding ANY reason why men should be trusted.

I'm not an idiot. I'm a single woman in her mid-20s, a coherent, intelligent, attractive woman - the kind who has men falling head over heels and bending over backwards in their own hypocritical and tasteless manner -with a job and a car who pays her bills but I can't get over the fact that if I settle down, I'll be doomed for an ever so predictable life of having to constantly watch my back.

Men have done nothing to prove themselves in my book. I would know. I have f***ed the married man, I have been on the line between needing to witness the atrocities of taken men and their lustful desires and 90% of the guys at my work who hit on me are taken and I only find this out by doing my own research.

I am trying to lead a life of solid virtue and distance myself from the ever waning deceit of men and their strange habits but I'm taking some cautionary measures to carry out my plan (that I think every woman should take necessary need of). I have so far done as such:

1) Separate myself as humanely possible from TOXIC men. The variety of man whose testosterone levels are higher than his ego and whose d*** is ****er than his head. He will hit on every woman imaginable, if he's taken or not, because his attention span wanes with the drop of a pin.

I have carried this out for almost every single man who has entered my life by not feeding into their personality and plain, pretending like they don't exist. Ignorance is bliss. I limit myself to the basic courteous acknowledgements but apart from that, don't get two inches near me jerk off. Now I will admit, I have more gay friends than straight friends for this reason.

What irritates me further is that even when I try to distance myself from these toxic men, they still find a reason to be near me. :mum

2) Forced limitations on my interactions with married men. I will not be the one who ignities any level of desire in a married man beyond absolute necessity. I will not acknowledge him, I will not entertain his advances, I will not so much as glance at him. Physical boundaries and avoidance are key.

3) Frequent exposure to as many men as possible. Flirting with every single man who crosses your path is the only way to go. If he's the ugliest guy you've met or if he's Prince Charming. *Dont discriminate*. There are literally thousands of guys to be met. When your mind creates its own shelter in the handful of guys who you are constantly surrounded by, you lose a sense of the breadth of your options and limit yourself to DOUCHE bags. Going to the supermarket, from entrance to checkout, I meet about 5 men along the way. Do not limit yourself.

4) Knowing your worth and building your own self-esteem. I deserve the best man possible. I am not going to settle for second best or measley hand me downs because I deserve everything and more of the opposite sex. Every time your subconscious chews on you and tells you you're not enough, combat those thoughts with anti-negativity and self-forced confidence. I am enough, I am a catch and none of these a**wipes are getting within 2 feet of me.

Princess Syndrome may not be becoming to most but it acts as a woman's own defense mechanism and is completely grounded in practical sensibility.

5) Two-faced scoundrels.

i have met some of the most thoughtful, kind, generous, and considerate men EVER. Or what seems like it. And only 3 years ago discovered this last nuance which lends itself to the _insincere_ man. And having either my companions tell me of his alter ego or witnessing his carelessness in my own presence; if he doesn't treat every other person -gay, straight, man, woman, child, old, young, new- with the same amount of respect and care as he does you,

Bye Felicia.

Any other tips?


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

How has this not turned into a flame war yet?

I don't really have any tips, per se, but for me it all boils down to respect. Does he treat everyone with respect, regardless of who or what they are? Does he treat you with respect (eg. by respecting your boundaries)? If he's married and he's hitting on you, is he treating his wife with respect? Does he treat himself with the same respect he treats other people?

Sooner or later, people who have trouble respecting themselves or other people are going to have trouble respecting you.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

Sounds like you meet some really crappy guys.

Stay away from the married ones. I hope you meet a decent, single one soon.


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## Ignopius (Mar 19, 2013)

Your standards may be unreasonably high.



> I deserve the best man possible. I am not going to settle for second best or measley hand me downs because I deserve everything and more of the opposite sex.


But it's your life. This may cause you to be single for the rest of your life. This happened to my mom's best friend. She's in her 40s never meeting a guy to settle down with because her standards are just too high. Also, there is a chance that you are overrating yourself. You have a very high ego for someone with SA from what I've noticed. And looks are only what gets yourself in the door with guys.


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## 7th.Streeter (May 11, 2011)

Ignopius said:


> Your standards may be unreasonably high.


 yah ..but if she's independent,has her own place,car,job ECT... She can afford T be..

I don't think there's nothing wrong with wanting someone who will match you.

Anywho ,how have you been iggy I haven't talked to you in forever. C:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

how about the guy who tell it like it is . 
all he wants if fun and while he is with you he will be faithful but don't expect that you can change his mind , he will not become a life partner .


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## Euthymia (Jul 15, 2015)

I was about to make a double standard joke, as to how women can post things like this about men, but men can't post things like this about women.

That was until I saw how good and sensible the advice actually was.

However a couple of things I'd like to zoom in on:


calichick said:


> I'm not an idiot. I'm a single woman in her mid-20s, a coherent, intelligent, attractive woman - the kind who has men falling head over heels and bending over backwards


Let's be real. The men you are referring to don't care whether or not you are smart or have a job. It's all about you being hot and attractive.


calichick said:


> Men have done nothing to prove themselves in my book.


Maybe your book has standards that are too high. Have you ever thought about revaluating your book?


calichick said:


> I deserve the best man possible.


No disrespect, but we all saw this coming from a mile away.
Hypergamy; women are hypergamous, they want to marry men who are of high wealth, status, and etc.

However please understand that the world doesn't "owe" you anything nor do you "deserve" anything.

You _want_ the best man possible, however you must face reality and understand that you may not ever get the best man possible.

Just my 2 cents.


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## RandomGentleman (Aug 4, 2014)

calichick said:


> He will hit on every woman imaginable, if he's taken or not, because his attention span wanes with the drop of a pin.at even when I try to distance myself from these toxic men, they still find a reason to be near me. :mum
> 
> 3) Frequent exposure to as many men as possible. Flirting with every single man who crosses your path is the only way to go. If he's the ugliest guy you've met or if he's Prince Charming. *Dont discriminate*. There are literally thousands of guys to be met. ?


...So when men hit on every women imaginable he's a creep and idiot. But you're allowed to flirt with every man possible and that's A-okay?

You have a serious ego problem. You seem just as "toxic" as these men you're complaining about.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Be sure to mention how superior you are.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

calichick said:


> Let me preface this by saying, this frustration is not coming from a completely misguided basis in reality but I have a really hard time finding ANY reason why men should be trusted.
> 
> I'm not an idiot. I'm a single woman in her mid-20s, a coherent, intelligent, attractive woman - the kind who has men falling head over heels and bending over backwards in their own hypocritical and tasteless manner -with a job and a car who pays her bills but I can't get over the fact that if I settle down, I'll be doomed for an ever so predictable life of having to constantly watch my back.
> 
> ...


I don't get the "I've ****ed the married man" if that is what I think it is, you are not much different from the cheaters.

In any case, men cant be trusted, women cant be trusted, people cant be trusted.


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## DarrellLicht (Mar 9, 2013)

I thought being 'Toxic' consisted of being whiny and miserable. The antithesis of being.. Cocky.

Has the OP ever considered the power struggle that can result in a closest match with a person as discriminatory and downright visceral?

Opposites attract they say, You should bag yourself a Homer :yes


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

Someone please tell me this thread isn't bait..


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Maybe don't date at all.


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## drummerboy45 (Jul 29, 2010)

Fantastic advice. Truer words have never been spoken. I hope you write a book at some point.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Sorry calichick, I'm taken.

Although if you want I'm sure your local animal shelter will have more cats that are waiting for loving, caring homes.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

DarrellLicht said:


> Opposites attract they say, You should bag yourself a Homer :yes


She said a few days ago she wants a dark guy too.. Good luck in California finding a 11/10 looking dark guy with high income and focus on physical fitness. I'm sure when you meet him, he will care deeply about your mind and goals, because he won't have other women jumping at him wherever he goes either.


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## Orbiter (Jul 8, 2015)

Perhaps it's not men in general you have distrust for but maybe only the very confident ones?
You know, those kind of guys who "take what they want" because they have the confidence and don't care what anyone else thinks?
Could be that kind of unpredictable "on the move" behavior that keeps you alert.


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## Orbiter (Jul 8, 2015)

sajs said:


> I don't get the "I've ****ed the married man" if that is what I think it is, you are not much different from the cheaters.
> 
> In any case, men cant be trusted, women cant be trusted, people cant be trusted.


"That's Humanity for ya"

-Shalashaska


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

I have to admit cali is a great troll. It's funny how she just places a bomb in the middle of the room, sits back, and watches it explode covering everyone in shrapnel. 

...and yes, I got hit too.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

It didn't start out well, but compared to past posts, there is actual growth here. Surprised, and actually in agreement with many, if not all, of the points, especially toward the end. There is some real and good advice in here. I hope you follow it.


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

jsgt said:


> I have to admit cali is a great troll. It's funny how she just places a bomb in the middle of the room, sits back, and watches it explode covering everyone in shrapnel.
> 
> ...and yes, I got hit too.


I thought I was the only one who noticed lol..


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

@calchick,

As a man who has male friends, coworkers and siblings I can confirm that the vast majority of men are cheaters. It is the way it is.

I don't know that many atheists so my experience is skewed. But the men who don't cheat tend to be very devoutly religious. It takes a strong belief in the immorality of cheating to overcome what is a very powerful male instinct. Yet, even among "religious men" the rate of infidelity is probably well over 50%.

Men who are into our club culture of random hookups are used to variety. They can't easily give that up. You need to find someone who rejects this clubbing hookup culture.

Another factor regarding male infidelity is how good looking and charismatic the man is. One factor that tends to keep men faithful is the difficulty involved in finding someone to cheat with. But for men who have women throwing themselves at them every day there is no such barrier.

Yet, another factor is selfishness and ego. The more selfish someone is the more likely they are to cheat. Maybe you want to consider men who are active in charitable work. You also want to avoid men with large egos. They need admiration from new people to keep their ego inflated. You won't be enough.

What you really want to avoid is the good looking charismatic stranger who approaches you. Approaching strange women is what he does all the time. You're just one of hundreds of women he's approached. He won't stop just because he got you.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

AngelClare said:


> @*calchick* ,
> As a man who has male friends, coworkers and siblings I can confirm that the vast majority of men are cheaters. It is the way it is.


In my experience the rich and good looking are pretty much ALL cheaters.


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## livetolovetolive (Jun 11, 2015)

I think you don't even want a guy. I mean you do, but not up close. You like distance for some reason. You get what you need in superficial attention because it's safe.


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## Euthymia (Jul 15, 2015)

AngelClare said:


> @calchick,
> 
> As a man who has male friends, coworkers and siblings I can confirm that the vast majority of men are cheaters. It is the way it is.
> 
> ...


I will agree that deeply religious people are less likely to cheat, but claiming the _vast_ majority of men are cheaters is going to far, if anything it would be women but I'm not going to go into some stupid gender war so I'm going to leave it as it is.

Male instinct is simple when it comes to monogamous relationships. He has a stable flow of oxytocin and dopamine from his spouse. Only when this stable flow is disrupted will a man be more likely to cheat.

Men don't inherently have a hard time abstaining from cheating.

Also being charismatic, good looking, wealthy, and etc does not give men incentive to cheat. All it means is that they have a abundance of choices.


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## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

Why do you deserve everything and more?

What if "first-best" doesn't want you?


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

It's the whole overly entitled Princess mentality of "I deserve perfection, I deserve the world and a bag of chips to go with it" that is so toxic to the dating scene.

There are lots of good, decent, worthwhile men who would love you and cherish you and treat you special with a lot to offer. But they are invisible to you because they're not beautiful or super confident.

Dating for men involves sticking our necks out constantly, but not all of us can stand the constant rejection that goes along with it. Sure nobody owes us anything but it's so one sided and tiresome.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

caveman8 said:


> Why do you deserve everything and more?
> 
> What if "first-best" doesn't want you?


First best will pretend to want her in order to get the p***y. Then when he moves on to the next hot girl or she catches him cheating, she'll cry that there are no good men. But they want what they can't have and refuse to settle, consequences be damned.

The type of men women consider first best have harems of women and tons of confidence from all the free poon they get. It's a nonstop conga line to their bed. Women ride the c**k carousel hoping they'll be the one the hot successful confident guy picks, again and again.

But why would he settle with them when he can have a hot new girl any time he wants? They don't get that last part. To the man in demand they are disposable.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

AngelClare said:


> @calchick,
> 
> As a man who has male friends, coworkers and siblings I can confirm that the vast majority of men are cheaters. It is the way it is.
> 
> ...


So basically what you're saying mate is that she should go and find a funny-looking guy that works at the Salvation Army, with no confidence or charisma at all. 

Doesn't sound like a good match.

EDit: - Oh, and he should go to church too.


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## that weird guy (Aug 14, 2015)

ffs what is this s**t, and how wasnt this thread removed.obvious troll looking for attention.


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## Pongowaffle (Jul 23, 2015)

truant said:


> How has this not turned into a flame war yet?
> .


Only if one day, women can rise from the ashes and dethrone men as the superior gender instead. The bodies of women are an exquisite work of art, while bodies of men are rugged and jagged looking, like a Jeep. Yuck! :vomit

Let's see if this will do it.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

AngelClare said:


> @calchick,
> 
> As a man who has male friends, coworkers and siblings I can confirm that the vast majority of men are cheaters. It is the way it is.
> 
> ...


Mm no, I was reading about this a while ago actually because I was looking into the effects of environment on female sexuality and what I discovered was that they've looked into this and found that religious men were no more likely than irreligious men to stay faithful, but that religious women were less likely to masturbate and cheat on partners than irreligious women. Because their upbringing had literally damaged their libido and sexuality (less likely to be promiscuous generally too.)

Which is why generally I think that religious upbringings are particularly cruel for girls because in a sense, you're castrating them with the guilt. For whatever reason the effects in this area on men seem to be less pronounced. Though hardcore religious beliefs are damaging to everybody.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

See. That's one of those crazy, messed up contrasts between men and women. Men spend most of their time trying to weed out the good girls. We WANT a woman who has a fetish for beating us senseless, making us worship her feet and crucifying us upside down on the back of a closet door for disobedience.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Which is why generally I think that religious upbringings are particularly cruel for girls because in a sense, you're castrating them with the guilt. For whatever reason the effects in this area on men seem to be less pronounced. Though hardcore religious beliefs are damaging to everybody.


Castrating is a good way to put it. I think it affects men less because people assume that men have almost uncontrollable urges, so if a man gives in, it's a "moment of weakness", but he doesn't necessarily stop being a good man; it's considered a failure in his behavior, not his character. If a woman gives in, it makes her a morally bad person; it's a reflection on her character, not a momentary lapse of willpower. Women got stuck with the burden of being the morally pure gender; if you're not morally pure, you're no longer a "good" woman.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

1.) Be good yourself:
You'll know what it takes to be good and you'll be better suited to identify the bad.

2.) Make the goodness in others your priority:
Before you acknowledge their qualities elsewhere, try to understand their goodness. This will heighten your wisdom and give you greater clarity of others sooner.

3.) Facts:
Study some data on men in relationships and keep their probabilities in mind. Acknowledge and use the realistic.


Personally, I wouldn't trust a man that -
*Believes he can resist wrongdoing regardless of the situation
*Doesn't have a powerful reason to avoid wrongdoing (i.e. is consistent with that reason even when it doesn't deal with wrongdoing or the taboo)


Not that any of this matters.


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

don said:


> So basically what you're saying mate is that she should go and find a funny-looking guy that works at the Salvation Army, with no confidence or charisma at all.
> 
> Doesn't sound like a good match.
> 
> EDit: - Oh, and he should go to church too.


Haha, well there are what, a billion people in the middle there somewhere..


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

WillYouStopDave said:


> See. That's one of those crazy, messed up contrasts between men and women. Men spend most of their time trying to weed out the good girls. We WANT a woman who has a fetish for beating us senseless, making us worship her feet and crucifying us upside down on the back of a closet door for disobedience.


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## bluecrime (Jan 27, 2013)

What's with all the entitlement on these forums? I see it from loads of men and some women as well. Just stop it you lot. I really do hope all the narcissistic people never get into relationships and die lonely.


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## My Hearse (Aug 28, 2015)

You all are still on this bait thread... Wait...

Why am I here...


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

10 bucks Calichick is a catfish and isn't really who she claims to be.


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## OutsideR1 (Mar 13, 2014)

calichick said:


> I'm not an idiot. I'm a single woman in her mid-20s, a coherent, intelligent, attractive woman - the kind who has men falling head over heels and bending over backwards in their own hypocritical and tasteless manner -with a job and a car who pays her bills but I can't get over the fact that if I settle down, I'll be doomed for an ever so predictable life of having to constantly watch my back.
> 
> Men have done nothing to prove themselves in my book. I would know. I have f***ed the married man, I have been on the line between needing to witness the atrocities of taken men and their lustful desires and 90% of the guys at my work who hit on me are taken and I only find this out by doing my own research.


Me so perfect, where is my nice but alpha, 6ft+, $100,000 earner, amazing looking guy??

Enjoy the boxed wine and cats.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

SAS logic:

"I'm hot and have high standards."
"You're an awful person. Stop trolling."

"I hate humanity and have genocidal fantasies."
"That's cool, bro. I can totally relate."


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## Ameenah (Mar 21, 2012)

Something about it you is attracting those types of men. Maybe the way you dress or your body language.. There are a lot of crappy men (and women lol) but you have to figure out what about you is attracting the wrong ones.


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

so you're a recruiter?


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

don said:


> So basically what you're saying mate is that she should go and find a funny-looking guy that works at the Salvation Army, with no confidence or charisma at all.
> 
> Doesn't sound like a good match.
> 
> EDit: - Oh, and he should go to church too.


lol. Well, you would have to admit that the guy you describe would be less likely to cheat.

And what's wrong with the funny-looking guy who is a little awkward or socially anxious? It's possible that if she got to know him she would find a very thoughtful caring person she enjoys spending time with.

I think part of the problem is we objectify people as if they were cars. We want a luxury car and a partner that's a trophy so others will envy us. Instead of looking for "great" (defined by society) people we should be looking for great relationships.

When you chase after the superficial qualities that everyone is chasing after, you do end up in shallow relationships that are very vulnerable to infidelity and failure.

I'm not saying she needs to find the ugliest most boring guy. And I'm not saying she needs to find some religious fanatic. I'm am saying that chasing after what everyone chases after will almost certainly lead to finding an unfaithful partner. And finding an altruistic man who has strong moral beliefs will definitely improve her chances of a lasting relationship.


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Mm no, I was reading about this a while ago actually because I was looking into the effects of environment on female sexuality and what I discovered was that they've looked into this and found that religious men were no more likely than irreligious men to stay faithful, but that religious women were less likely to masturbate and cheat on partners than irreligious women. Because their upbringing had literally damaged their libido and sexuality (less likely to be promiscuous generally too.)
> 
> Which is why generally I think that religious upbringings are particularly cruel for girls because in a sense, you're castrating them with the guilt. For whatever reason the effects in this area on men seem to be less pronounced. Though hardcore religious beliefs are damaging to everybody.


That's why I said I was speaking from my own personal experience and I clearly said my experience is skewed.

There are just so many different religions and cultures that it's almost impossible to study "religious people" scientifically. I've been to churches with mostly intellectual liberal Christians, I've been to churches with rigid charismatic Christians, I've been to churches with purely cultural Christians and that's just one religion. The variety is so vast that it's incredibly unfair when people label "religious people" as if they were a single monolithic group. How is that different from racial stereotyping?

Sadly, the most vocal and visible religious people are often the worst ones. I notice a lot of bigotry against religious people on this board but we're not all the same.

I don't want to derail the thread so I won't go on about the issue.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

AngelClare said:


> That's why I said I was speaking from my own personal experience and I clearly said my experience is skewed.
> 
> There are just so many different religions and cultures that it's almost impossible to study "religious people" scientifically. I've been to churches with mostly intellectual liberal Christians, I've been to churches with rigid charismatic Christians, I've been to churches with purely cultural Christians and that's just one religion. The variety is so vast that it's incredibly unfair when people label "religious people" as if they were a single monolithic group. How is that different from racial stereotyping?
> 
> ...


With what I'm discussing it doesn't matter which religion it is, or whether it's a religion at all and not some non spiritual ideology. What's important is whether the beliefs are sex negative or sex positive. Sex negative beliefs have a negative impact on people, demonstrateable in terms of behaviour at least in women.

I would criticise any sex negative philosophy equally. It just so happens that all of the Abrahamic religions are at their core sex negative. So it doesn't really matter about denomination. I'd assume for these studies they were focussing on Christianity though as it's the majority religion in the US.

But I don't believe religious people generally are more likely to be faithful. I've seen too many bad things carried out by religious people and leaders in particular to believe that. Seems more likely that people's sense of empathy would be more important.



truant said:


> Castrating is a good way to put it. I think it affects men less because people assume that men have almost uncontrollable urges, so if a man gives in, it's a "moment of weakness", but he doesn't necessarily stop being a good man; it's considered a failure in his behavior, not his character. If a woman gives in, it makes her a morally bad person; it's a reflection on her character, not a momentary lapse of willpower. Women got stuck with the burden of being the morally pure gender; if you're not morally pure, you're no longer a "good" woman.


I think that probably has a large impact yeah. Men can redeem themselves by being a good man which has nothing to do with being morally right, but being productive and a good provider.

This goes back a pretty long way too culturally. Women are expected to remain innocent and they always end up causing the downfall of men usually through curiosity and attempting to better themselves intellectually :/ Pandora, Eve.

I think Eve probably is Pandora though. Satan was Satan instead of her brother (Prometheus) there are a lot of similarities there. They were both the first woman, and both ultimately leading to Humanity having to suffer for their curiosity and disobedience to rules...


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

OutsideR1 said:


> Me so perfect, where is my nice but alpha, 6ft+, $100,000 earner, amazing looking guy??
> 
> Enjoy the boxed wine and cats.


Box wine and cats sounds so much better than hanging out with an alpha male.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> I think that probably has a large impact yeah. Men can redeem themselves by being a good man which has nothing to do with being morally right, but being productive and a good provider.
> 
> This goes back a pretty long way too culturally. Women are expected to remain innocent and they always end up causing the downfall of men usually through curiosity and attempting to better themselves intellectually :/ Pandora, Eve.
> 
> I think Eve probably is Pandora though. Satan was Satan instead of her brother (Prometheus) there are a lot of similarities there. They were both the first woman, and both ultimately leading to Humanity having to suffer for their curiosity and disobedience to rules...


Dem gender roles. One gender has to be "good" so that the other can be "bad"; but if you're "good" (ie. a woman) and you behave "badly" you're a "fallen" woman. You're not performing your role properly, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

The Satan/Eve thing is interesting in a way because, while it's Eve's "fault" that humanity has "fallen", what's happened is that she's been seduced by a man -- Satan. So while Eve gets the blame, it's written all over Christian theology that it's MAN, male sexuality, that is the source of evil, not woman; the human race fell because a woman stopped being a good woman -- she gave into temptation to pure evil, symbolized by a phallus. But a lot of interpretation seems curiously unconscious of this masculine presence.

Masculinity is the true evil in Christianity, but for some reason everyone's looking at Eve, placing all the blame on her -- because men can't help but give in (dem double standards), so it's up to women to be good enough for both of them. It's like a man's (Adam's) fear that his wife (Eve) is cheating on him with a better endowed, "silver tongued Devil" (Satan). The fall of man as a fear of cuckolding elevated to the level of cosmic tragedy.

Women have to be controlled by men because men know that other men are going to try to steal them away. Women internalize sexual guilt to assist men in keeping them faithful. And considering what could happen to a woman back then if she was unfaithful, mothers have a vested interest in keeping their daughters chaste to keep them alive and in one piece. Woman are the casualties in the war that men wage on one another in their pursuit of desirable mates. (Probably the most feminist thing you'll ever hear me say. :lol)

Not much has changed in the last few thousand years. Feminists liberated women's sexuality to a degree, but now men are fighting back with their theories about hypergamy, the "c-ck carousel", being "damaged goods" if you have a sexual history or dare to date after 30, paternity fraud paranoia, etc. All the same arguments their pious forefathers used dressed up in modern language.

/ epic thread derail


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## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

truant said:


> Dem gender roles. One gender has to be "good" so that the other can be "bad"; but if you're "good" (ie. a woman) and you behave "badly" you're a "fallen" woman. You're not performing your role properly, and you should be ashamed of yourself.


Just as bad for men who don't fit the loud and tough expectation and act like they're leading congress to war for everything they do in life. Stand around looking thoughtful or indecisive long enough and both men and women will write you off permanently.


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

im bad.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

truant said:


> SAS logic:
> 
> "I'm hot and have high standards."
> "You're an awful person. Stop trolling."
> ...


Well, I can relate with the latter and not the former.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

I think I'm sooner closer to becoming a lesbian than finding my Prince Charming.

There's this lesbian at my work who likes me. She seems much more decent than half of the jerk offs who exist in this world.

I'm thinking about looking for a new job, confessed this to the older man who sits next to me, and he was trying to come up with reasons why I should stay in this miserable job. He proceeds to have some type of mini hissy fit and nearly comes on to me asking if I want to go for dinner and discuss it. At 6 pm.

What the good lord? Why dont decent men express interest in me? I'm so sick of the mess that is my life. I want to be happy I know tons of guys who would love to be with me...I really want a real man who can deal with me and make me feel like a woman, not a broken soul with no real meaning in life


----------



## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

thats hot


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

OutsideR1 said:


> Me so perfect, where is my nice but alpha, 6ft+, $100,000 earner, amazing looking guy??
> 
> Enjoy the boxed wine and cats.


I am surrounded by guys in that "league" HONEY.

That doesn't mean SH*T. Nowhere in my post did I mention something so utterly trivial and despicable as looks or income.

Half of the guys in my life are major horndogs, douchebag after douchebag. Not what real MEN are made of.


----------



## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

Do you have friends?


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

rdrr said:


> Do you have friends?


gay men and women.

Considering I'm pretty wound up though from lack of sex, I don't spend much time with them.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

drummerboy45 said:


> Fantastic advice. Truer words have never been spoken. I hope you write a book at some point.


Thank you. I hoped you all enjoyed my limitless wisdom.


----------



## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

calichick said:


> gay men and women.
> 
> Considering I'm pretty wound up though from lack of sex, I don't spend much time with them.


Maybe spending time with them doing fun things will keep your mind off of things.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

AngelClare said:


> . You also want to avoid men with large egos. They need admiration from new people to keep their ego inflated. You won't be enough. .


You've just described me in more ways than one.

I avoid people like me, I know how they act, I know who they are.

Disgusting turn-off.

They think they're hot sh*t and I act like they don't exist.

Lol I know, big hypocrite. Sad but true.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Grog said:


> all he wants is fun


I don't want a frat boy, sweetheart.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Euthymia said:


> I was about to make a double standard joke, as to how women can post things like this about men, but men can't post things like this about women.
> 
> That was until I saw how good and sensible the advice actually was.
> 
> ...


Your post is under the superficial assumption that good man equates to handsome, rich man.

Oh sweetie, poor boy.

No.

All of you have no idea what women really want.


----------



## Grog (Sep 13, 2013)

calichick said:


> I don't want a frat boy, sweetheart.


I would have assumed a frat boy would use what ever bull**** necessary to get in your knickers

And I'm no sweet heart honey bun . :wink2:

Does what you want actually even exist .


----------



## Euthymia (Jul 15, 2015)

calichick said:


> Your post is under the superficial assumption that good man equates to handsome, rich man.
> 
> Oh sweetie, poor boy.
> 
> ...


Nothing is superficial about my post nor did I claim a good man equates to a handsome rich one.

This poor boy knows how to use correct grammar and understands that women biologically want males that can provide.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

DarrellLicht said:


> I thought being 'Toxic' consisted of being whiny and miserable. The antithesis of being.. Cocky.
> 
> Has the OP ever considered the power struggle that can result in a closest match with a person as discriminatory and downright visceral?
> 
> Opposites attract they say, You should bag yourself a Homer :yes


I would f***ing love me a Homer.

I get wet just thinking about it. Hm


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

caveman8 said:


> Why do you deserve everything and more?
> 
> What if "first-best" doesn't want you?


Because I do. And I am.

And Its ok if he doesn't want me because there's a million other guys out there.

ill find my first best don't chu worry about it.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

WillYouStopDave said:


> See. That's one of those crazy, messed up contrasts between men and women. Men spend most of their time trying to weed out the good girls. We WANT a woman who has a fetish for beating us senseless, making us worship her feet and crucifying us upside down on the back of a closet door for disobedience.


I think you speak for a rare minority of men.

Besides, women are not that forthcoming. We will (and I do and have) punish men in ways that are a lot less punitively gratifying by stripping any sort of acknowledgment in the process.

We will moreso attack your ego, and do things in a way which is irritatingly female-minded.

no man wants a b*tch.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

I wonder if any guy here has ever been treated like sh*t by a woman and they have absolutely no clue what they did to deserve it?


----------



## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

OutsideR1 said:


> Enjoy the boxed wine and *cats*.


Don't knock it until you try it man.



calichick said:


> I am surrounded by guys in that "league" HONEY.
> 
> That doesn't mean SH*T. Nowhere in my post did I mention something so utterly trivial and despicable as looks or income.


^^^^^

---

An estimated 50-60% of all people in relationships cheat. But it's not just men; women cheat plenty enough too. Maybe not as much, but they do.

My first girlfriend cheated on me then lied to my face about it later on.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Sacrieur said:


> Don't knock it until you try it man.
> 
> ^^^^^


What gets me though is that you're a white boy. Possibly the whitest white boy alive.

And when you and I used to bicker for some odd time, I thought you were a small asian guy based on all your emojis and username and avatar.

And then I saw a pic of you and I'm like damn he's cute. LOL

Too bad he ain't over 6' or making more than $100k right @OutsideR1. That's all we womens care about these days anyways.


----------



## OutsideR1 (Mar 13, 2014)

calichick said:


> I am surrounded by guys in that "league" HONEY.
> 
> That doesn't mean SH*T. Nowhere in my post did I mention something so utterly trivial and despicable as looks or income.
> 
> Half of the guys in my life are major horndogs, douchebag after douchebag. Not what real MEN are made of.


lol and you think your a real woman, you narcassistic ****.


----------



## Orbiter (Jul 8, 2015)

calichick said:


> I wonder if any guy here has ever been treated like sh*t by a woman and they have absolutely no clue what they did to deserve it?


Sometimes yeah.
I didn't give a **** though because those individuals where pieces of ****, judging by their ****ty behavior beforehand.


----------



## Orbiter (Jul 8, 2015)

calichick said:


> Because I do. And I am.
> 
> And Its ok if he doesn't want me because there's a million other guys out there.
> 
> ill find my first best don't chu worry about it.


Okay, calm down.
Just don't go on a shooting spree just cause you can't find a "perfect" man.
lol


----------



## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Persephone The Dread said:


> What's important is whether the beliefs are sex negative or sex positive.


Well, I'm glad that there are only two categories for beliefs about sex. It makes things so much simpler.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

OutsideR1 said:


> lol and you think your a real woman, you narcassistic ****.


More real of a woman than you'll ever meet boo boo.


----------



## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

Let us know how it works out for you and if you notice any difference in the quality of guys you get involved with.


----------



## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

AngelClare said:


> lol. Well, you would have to admit that the guy you describe would be less likely to cheat.
> 
> And what's wrong with the funny-looking guy who is a little awkward or socially anxious? It's possible that if she got to know him she would find a very thoughtful caring person she enjoys spending time with.
> 
> ...




It's Ok mate - I was just being cheeky.

I agree that the type of guy you mentioned would be unlikely to cheat on a girl like Calichick. ( why in God's name would he want to? )

I have no idea what makes for a stable relationship with no cheating - maybe someone could let me know if they find out.


----------



## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

calichick said:


> Because I do. And I am.
> 
> And Its ok if he doesn't want me because there's a million other guys out there.
> 
> ill find my first best don't chu worry about it.


Don't listen to all this stuff @calichick - go after what you really want. Why the hell should we settle for anything less if we don't have to. 

Have fun.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

don said:


> It's Ok mate - I was just being cheeky.
> 
> I agree that the type of guy you mentioned would be unlikely to cheat on a girl like Calichick. ( why in God's name would he want to? )
> 
> I have no idea what makes for a stable relationship with no cheating - maybe someone could let me know if they find out.


I think any person can get cheated on regardless of who they are, I think that it may make less of a difference if you have healthy self-esteem and can move on to another man without wincing twice which was my point #3 something or other.

Even though I'm deathly shy and mentally unstable , im pretty lucky in the fact that men tend to be rather fascinated with me...it's the mixed blood women that make men go wild...the tan skin, glowing light eyes, long hair, perfect proportions, I can't complain much....

What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, variety. There's a sh*tload of guys out there. I tend to have that exorbitantly high ego where I go out in the world thinking men need me and I could give or take which is probably my issue. Probably just need to settle and decide on one before my eggs expire. lol


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

don said:


> Don't listen to all this stuff @calichick - go after what you really want. Why the hell should we settle for anything less if we don't have to.
> 
> Have fun.


Lol thanks don

Don't worry, most men aren't worth a woman's time.

Most just need to be ignored.

It's the real life SAS. I've got half of them on my sh*t list. ******* men


----------



## The Exodus (Jul 31, 2014)

No offense, but you sound exactly like the guys you profess to dislike.


----------



## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

don said:


> Don't listen to all this stuff @calichick - go after what you really want. Why the hell should we settle for anything less if we don't have to.
> 
> Have fun.


Given that most men aren't worth a woman's time, the few that are might be hard to find, and Cali seems to be struggling to do so.

Now, the question is, how many women are worth a man's time?


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

caveman8 said:


> Given that most men aren't worth a woman's time, the few that are might be hard to find, and Cali seems to be struggling to do so.
> 
> Now, the question is, how many women are worth a man's time?


i don't know, that's another thread called how to weed out the bad girls - tips for a single man.

i am VERY picky.

Most men annoy the sh*t out of me from being absolutely useless, unintelligent, not in shape and just plain boring or senseless.


----------



## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Here's a list of everything a man must be to be worth your time:










Make sure he's hot, wealthy, interesting, fun, funny, opinions align, stars align, right astrological symbol, most of all not mentally defective in any way...

Also be sure to ridicule and **** on everyone in your way.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

minimized said:


> Here's a list of everything a man must be to be worth your time:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


i only expect in a man what I myself can give. Personality, appearance, demographic, professional wise.

I want a tall guy who has sexy eyes and nice hair and he MUST be cute and FUNNY and personable and work out and not take himself too seriously.

He must be intelligent and kind and ambitious. I would not date a guy who was not at least 25% of white or more or one that did not make me feel a burning sensation whenever he looked into my eyes.

Most guys are a major snoozfest.

Ladies I wouldn't give those guys the time of day.


----------



## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Must have the sun and the moon on hand and ready to be offered.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Must drive a car in the $30,000 range plus.
Must have gotten good grades in college.
Must be wordly and intellectual.
Must be deeper than a f***ing nut (oh, 98% of guys I know fail this test.)


----------



## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

She's actually being pretty reasonable. A year or so back she wasn't.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Sacrieur said:


> She's actually being pretty reasonable. A year or so back she wasn't.


I wouldn't say that. I would say your perception of me might have changed when I posted a photo, other than that my standards remain unchanged.


----------



## livetolovetolive (Jun 11, 2015)

calichick said:


> Must drive a car in the $30,000 range plus.
> Must have gotten good grades in college.
> Must be wordly and intellectual.
> Must be deeper than a f***ing nut (oh, 98% of guys I know fail this test.)


What's the point of this thread? I know you're smarter than this person you pretend to be. Is this thread/forum persona a joke? Most of what you say seems inspired by movies and tv shows. You're a copy. Nothing that you say means anything. You're literally not talking. You're playing pretend 24/7 on this forum.

Drop the act, it's getting you nowhere. No one is buying into it. Stop making these frothy threads. That word is perfect. I can't stand seeing this thread on the recent discussions sidebar anymore. Stop responding people.


----------



## livetolovetolive (Jun 11, 2015)

calichick said:


> i only expect in a man what I myself can give. Personality, appearance, demographic, professional wise.
> 
> I want a tall guy who has sexy eyes and nice hair and he MUST be cute and FUNNY and personable and work out and not take himself too seriously.
> 
> ...


What the hell are you talking about. am I crazy?


----------



## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

livetolovetolive said:


> What the hell are you talking about. am I crazy?


What are you talking about.



calichick said:


> I wouldn't say that. I would say your perception of me might have changed when I posted a photo, other than that my standards remain unchanged.


I can quote you, if you'd like.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Sacrieur said:


> What are you talking about.


On a more pressing note, I like how he said stop responding to the thread and made a double post within 30 seconds of each other.

Lol.

*tiptoes away*


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

So first I get chastised for not responding to my own thread for a week and than I get told to GTFO.

I'm not a fan of indecisiveness SAS.


----------



## livetolovetolive (Jun 11, 2015)

Sacrieur said:


> What are you talking about.


She is playing with you like a toy.


----------



## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

livetolovetolive said:


> She is playing with you like a toy.


I don't know what this has to do about me. This has everything to do with you; in specific:



calichick said:


> Must drive a car in the $30,000 range plus.
> Must have gotten good grades in college.
> Must be wordly and intellectual.
> Must be deeper than a f***ing nut (oh, 98% of guys I know fail this test.)


And in response you posted:



livetolovetolive said:


> What's the point of this thread? I know you're smarter than this person you pretend to be. Is this thread/forum persona a joke? Most of what you say seems inspired by movies and tv shows. You're a copy. Nothing that you say means anything. You're literally not talking. You're playing pretend 24/7 on this forum.
> 
> Drop the act, it's getting you nowhere. No one is buying into it. Stop making these frothy threads. That word is perfect. I can't stand seeing this thread on the recent discussions sidebar anymore. Stop responding people.


Which has absolutely nothing to do with what you quoted.

So no, really, what are you talking about?


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Me thinks No Fap November is taking its toll on our boy over there.


----------



## livetolovetolive (Jun 11, 2015)

Sacrieur said:


> I don't know what this has to do about me. This has everything to do with you; in specific:
> 
> And in response you posted:
> 
> ...


tbh, you won't get it. That's why you're responding for her. It's self-evident in what he/she posts constantly, and I thought the quote was a great example.


----------



## livetolovetolive (Jun 11, 2015)

calichick said:


> Me thinks No Fap November is taking its toll on our boy over there.


care to engage or is it that you think I am right? I get plenty babe, it's not a concern.


----------



## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

livetolovetolive said:


> tbh, you won't get it. That's why you're responding for her. It's self-evident in what he/she posts constantly, and I thought the quote was a great example.


Except what she posted was relevant to the post above hers and what you posted in response wasn't.

So yeah, I guess I wouldn't really get when people make random, unrelated comments in response things they quote.


----------



## livetolovetolive (Jun 11, 2015)

Sacrieur said:


> Except what she posted was relevant to the post above hers and what you posted in response wasn't.
> 
> So yeah, I guess I wouldn't really get when people make random, unrelated comments in response things they quote.


oh yeah guess you're righ


----------



## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

I'm waiting for calichick to come out one day and say: "Gotcha! Was kidding with the high standards." And we find out she's been married with kids all this time.


----------



## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

McFly said:


> I'm waiting for calichick to come out one day and say: "Gotcha! Was kidding with the high standards." And we find out she's been married with kids all this time.


It is kind of a bizarre thread, if she's serious there are probably 10 guys in the country who would meet her criteria and I doubt they would give her the time of day. If she was joking its kind of falling flat.


----------



## livetolovetolive (Jun 11, 2015)

knightofdespair said:


> It is kind of a bizarre thread, if she's serious there are probably 10 guys in the country who would meet her criteria and I doubt they would give her the time of day. If she was joking its kind of falling flat.


He/she is doing it for solely for attention. People often complain that pretty girls join this forum to get a power trip over desperate guys. I'm not convinced of that. In 'calichicks' case I might agree though.


----------



## knightofdespair (May 20, 2014)

livetolovetolive said:


> He/she is doing it for solely for attention. People often complain that pretty girls join this forum to get a power trip over desperate guys. I'm not convinced of that. In 'calichicks' case I might agree though.


I feel sorry for her. Of everyone's frustrations on this place, hers are both the most entertaining but also the least believable.


----------



## McFly (Jul 15, 2014)

knightofdespair said:


> It is kind of a bizarre thread, if she's serious there are probably 10 guys in the country who would meet her criteria and I doubt they would give her the time of day. If she was joking its kind of falling flat.


I can never tell if she's serious or half hearted, but her threads are entertaining at the least


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

livetolovetolive said:


> He/she is doing it for solely for attention. People often complain that pretty girls join this forum to get a power trip over desperate guys. I'm not convinced of that. In 'calichicks' case I might agree though.


So posting on average 3-4 times a day and making one topic once every 6 months qualifies as attention-seeking?

You might want to reconsider why I get so much "attention" on this board in the first place.

Men like you are so embitterly fascinated by hot girls that you wouldn't know 2 times 2 if one hit you in the face.

Keep on posting baby, it's been about 9 posts in since you've advised people to stop posting here.

And I will keep on posting my dilemmas in being an attractive woman in society trying to weed out the BAD guys and finding my way trying to be comfortable in my own skin.

Because honey, I am damn nearly perfect, I'm hot as f***, reaching for the stars, insanely intelligent and literate beyond your years.

Keep on hating :kiss:


----------



## livetolovetolive (Jun 11, 2015)

calichick said:


> So posting on average 3-4 times a day and making one topic once every 6 months qualifies as attention-seeking?
> 
> You might want to reconsider why I get so much "attention" on this board in the first place.
> 
> ...


Hot, ugly, fat, skinny, smart, stupid, whatever. You are not nearly perfect, you are flawed. Everyone is. You think being hot (probably far less than you think you are) has anything to do with perfection? Perfection is balance. You are self-involved and vain to an extreme. The roots of that indicate equally extreme imbalance somewhere down deep. I try not to judge, and accept everyone for what they are, as I would like others to do for me, but you are delusional. You need a reality check.

Your delusion of perfection and privilege separates you from people and prevents you from ever knowing how delusional you are. It doesn't matter if you surround yourself with people, that doesn't mean you are not alone.

I am still not convinced this isn't all a big put-on, that's how far out there you sound. Be comfortable in your skin, please. Right now you must be extremely uncomfortable because otherwise, why would you need these delusions of grandeur to get through your day.

:heart


----------



## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

caveman8 said:


> Given that most men aren't worth a woman's time, the few that are might be hard to find, and Cali seems to be struggling to do so.
> 
> Now, the question is, how many women are worth a man's time?


This is something I often encourage men to ask themselves. Sometimes I feel like we need to raise our standards. I'm not saying being extremely picky, but I see men put up with way more than what women these days are willing to put up with
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

calichick said:


> *i only expect in a man what I MYSELF CAN GIVE. PERSONALITY, appearance, demographic, professional wise.
> *
> *I want a tall guy who has sexy eyes and nice hair and he MUST be cute and FUNNY and personable and work out and not take himself too seriously.*





calichick said:


> *Even though I'm deathly shy and mentally unstable*


 I guess the argument can be made that being shy or mentally unstable are not actually a part of one's personality, but rather are characteristics that inhibit ones ability to be true to themselves regardless of a self perceived awesomeness ... but either way i think being "mentally unstable" and "deathly shy" would limit(/otherwise effect) your partners ability to perceive and/or have knowledge of your true personality for reasons that are a priori... so the question is, are you really offering these men what they will perceive as a humorous and amicable personality?


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

livetolovetolive said:


> You think being hot (probably far less than you think you are) has anything to do with perfection?


For men it does.

/thread



Euthymia said:


> The men you are referring to don't care whether or not you are smart or have a job. It's all about you being hot and attractive.


----------



## livetolovetolive (Jun 11, 2015)

calichick said:


> For men it does.
> 
> /thread


Not for all men.


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

TobeyJuarez said:


> I guess the argument can be made that being shy or mentally unstable are not actually a part of one's personality, but rather are characteristics that inhibit ones ability to be true to themselves regardless of a self perceived awesomeness ... but either way i think being "mentally unstable" and "deathly shy" would limit(/otherwise effect) your partners ability to perceive and/or have knowledge of your true personality for reasons that are a priori... so the question is, are you really offering these men what they will perceive as a humorous and amicable personality?


I dunno, even though I am witty and intelligent and spunky, something tells me men are just after me based on my ASSets.

I'm sure humor and amicable personality though are a dead ringer for second.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

livetolovetolive said:


> Not for all men.


I am glad that you are above all that garbage and can see a woman's heart regardless of how pretty the packaging is.

good on you for courting the modest girls of this world. Modesty is so underrated.


----------



## The Exodus (Jul 31, 2014)

livetolovetolive said:


> Hot, ugly, fat, skinny, smart, stupid, whatever. You are not nearly perfect, you are flawed. Everyone is. You think being hot (probably far less than you think you are) has anything to do with perfection? Perfection is balance. You are self-involved and vain to an extreme. The roots of that indicate equally extreme imbalance somewhere down deep. I try not to judge, and accept everyone for what they are, as I would like others to do for me, but you are delusional. You need a reality check.
> 
> Your delusion of perfection and privilege separates you from people and prevents you from ever knowing how delusional you are. It doesn't matter if you surround yourself with people, that doesn't mean you are not alone.
> 
> ...


Well said. People that are intellectual, stable and attractive don't feel the need to preach it to the world. All people that I have met thus far with high IQ's (155, 160 and 135 respectively) have not felt it necessary to mention it. They don't deem it a significant element of their lives, because it's just who they are. My friend only mentioned she was in Mensa as a passing comment, and I was shocked she'd never said anything before but I guess she just doesn't care about that side of herself. She just cares about being a good person, caring for others and making the world a better place.

As for finding relationships, men don't care much for intellect, at least nothing particularly high. What will happen is if you make comments that convey yourself as egotistical or shallow, you will attract men (or women) who are egotistical or shallow. That's something which Calichick apparently doesn't realise yet, despite her supposed intellect. She'll find her own way, and realise her mistakes, or fail to ever discover somebody that meets her standards and possibly live alone forever.

I hope this is my last word on this because, like yourself, I'm failing to believe this is a legitimate post and hope the moderators do something with it soon.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

truant said:


> SAS logic:
> 
> "I'm hot and have high standards."
> "You're an awful person. Stop trolling."
> ...


In my experience, it depends who is saying it.
Men with high standards get told to lower them by women, women with high standards get told to lower them by men.
It especially happens if the person with high standards also talks about dating frustration of not being able to find anyone that lives up to the standards, or have trouble with those they do find ending up poor matches or treating them badly in a way.
It's not always unreasonable either, though it definitely can be.


----------



## Orbiter (Jul 8, 2015)

Looks are worthless.
Confidence is the only thing you need in life.


----------



## The Starry night (May 23, 2015)

calichick said:


> So posting on average 3-4 times a day and making one topic once every 6 months qualifies as attention-seeking?
> 
> You might want to reconsider why I get so much "attention" on this board in the first place.
> 
> ...


Idk how you can. When men used to ask me out for dates I used to get shy and run the eff away. :serious:

But when I met my bf I instantly felt connected to him...he wasn't a normie and that's when I used to kinda stalk him :serious:.......anyway... we fell in love :love

Find a non normie.

P.S Never stalk a guy you like because they know you're stalking them. :/


----------



## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

The Starry night said:


> Idk how you can. When men used to ask me out for dates I used to get shy and run the eff away. :serious:
> 
> But when I met my bf I instantly felt connected to him...he wasn't a normie and that's when I used to kinda stalk him :serious:.......anyway... we fell in love :love
> 
> ...


I used to think I liked non normies but I find that their lack of assertiveness is very irritating and frustratingly prolonged.

I like guys who can talk to me point blank.

I'm sorry IM a woman with basic needs :lol


----------



## JTHearts (Nov 4, 2015)

Am I the only one thinking calichick isn't even a woman? She seems more like a satirical version of a woman than an actual woman :/


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

^nah, calichick must be hot.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

JTHearts said:


> Am I the only one thinking calichick isn't even a woman? She seems more like a satirical version of a woman than an actual woman :/


Calichick's not a woman. She's a legend. She's a goddess.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

JTHearts said:


> Am I the only one thinking calichick isn't even a woman? She seems more like a satirical version of a woman than an actual woman :/


Because I'm smarter and more well-versed than you I must be a satire of a woman then no?

Half of the board has seen how tight my v*gina is.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Just like your mom's before she birthed the creation that is you


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

*sigh* Cali, pls calm yourself sweetie. Don't get your panties in a wad.


Yes, you are a legend. I don't mean that with any animosity, no bitterness. You are a legend.


I hope you've taken good care of Monty.


Is he still sleeping under your bed? Or between your matresses? Poor guy.


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## minimized (Nov 17, 2007)

Jesus Christ. What does it mean if half the board has seen that tight vagina...


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)




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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

I hope you're OK. I don't mean what I said with any animosity, I'm serious.


You are, after all, the SAS Goddess.




You have a habit on this site of getting yourself into situwashons you can't talk yourself out of. Or. That you find it very, very hard to get yourself out of.


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## coldsorehighlighter (Jun 2, 2010)

lol


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## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

Jesuszilla said:


> This is something I often encourage men to ask themselves. Sometimes I feel like we need to raise our standards. I'm not saying being extremely picky, but I see men put up with way more than what women these days are willing to put up with
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


A good point. Guilty of it too in the past also.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

sajs said:


> I don't get the "I've ****ed the married man" if that is what I think it is, you are not much different from the cheaters.
> 
> In any case, men cant be trusted, women cant be trusted, people cant be trusted.


I...have had relationships with married women before.

Please don't judge. Unless you've been there, do not wag your finger at me lol.

I have been in relationships with several married woman. They are no different than the men that cheat. They take their wedding rings off their fingers before they enter the bars. They lie.

It.

Goes.

Both.

Ways.

Women cheat, too.


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## sajs (Jan 3, 2015)

TenYears said:


> I...have had relationships with married women before.
> 
> Please don't judge. Unless you've been there, do not wag your finger at me lol.
> 
> ...


I wish there was a smiley of a finger pointing at you, lol.

I mean, if you don't know that they are married or in a relationship well, I guess no one is a mind reader. But if you know it, that is different.
In any case, not a fan of "I cheated my boyfriend/girlfriend" / "why men/women are all the same and cheaters" kind of combo threads.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

minimized said:


> Jesus Christ. What does it mean if half the board has seen that tight vagina...


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

minimized said:


> Jesus Christ. What does it mean if half the board has seen that tight vagina...


It means that in another lifetime, if I had been born with a certain reckless abandon in attitude, I may have been one of Charlie Sheen's _goddesses_ (side note: he's HIV-positive? What the Good Lord?) instead of an SAS goddess.

This tight ****** is going to absolute waste in cyberspace. I wish I got half as much action IRL as I did within 2 minutes of logging on to this site.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

TenYears said:


> I hope you're OK. I don't mean what I said with any animosity, I'm serious.
> 
> You are, after all, the SAS Goddess.
> 
> You have a habit on this site of getting yourself into situwashons you can't talk yourself out of. Or. That you find it very, very hard to get yourself out of.


I don't really call my life reflections a situation.

I come on to this site, I spew some random thoughts, some random figments of my life, some people tend to take it too personally, they proceed to get butthurt, tend to doubt my sincerity on the matter or my intention in the first place of posting it...

I don't know if people expect some type of debate from all my posts.

Me: it sucks being single 
Butthurt Member X: attention wh*re, attention wh*re, taking advantage of desperate beta males everywhere!

I'm like...um...just posting a random thought honey.

Anyways I thought my original post was quite eloquent and well-informed, it helps to be able to have an outlet to release one's inner struggles.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

sajs said:


> I wish there was a smiley of a finger pointing at you, lol.
> 
> I mean, if you don't know that they are married or in a relationship well, I guess no one is a mind reader. But if you know it, that is different.
> In any case, not a fan of "I cheated my boyfriend/girlfriend" / "why men/women are all the same and cheaters" kind of combo threads.


 

I didn't know they were married. It doesn't really matter though because people on here will judge. Idgaf anymore. Judge me.

In the last "relationship" I was in, she didn't tell me she was married until a few months in. I left her. I burned that bridge, on purpose, and she has called me since then, several times, and I haven't answered. She doesn't get much love from her husband. At all. And now she doesn't get any from me. Because she's a liar, she cheats and she cannot be trusted, under any circumstances.

Is she "hot"? Your goddamn right she is. But she can't keep a man. Because....she cannot be trusted. She's going to spend the rest of her life searching for "him" and she will find him over and over again and she will never be able to keep him.

Because she can't be trusted.

I think that's enuf said, in this thread. Lol.


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## newbornmind (May 6, 2012)

Seems to me that you've got a lot of anger towards men, and I understand that, it's there due to what you've experienced. But in my opinion, that ish is going to keep you blind from seeing the good guys that are out there for you. Have you tried addressing these issues with men that you have internally?


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## Damon (Oct 27, 2015)

calichick said:


> It means that in another lifetime, if I had been born with a certain reckless abandon in attitude, I may have been one of Charlie Sheen's _goddesses_ (side note: he's HIV-positive? What the Good Lord?) instead of an SAS goddess.
> 
> This tight ****** is going to absolute waste in cyberspace. I wish I got half as much action IRL as I did within 2 minutes of logging on to this site.


Sas legend is not really something you want to aspire to. Getting action in real life is where its at.Maybe spend less time being a legend here and more time meeting ACTUAL real life guys. Just a thought. :nerd:


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## Damon (Oct 27, 2015)

JTHearts said:


> Am I the only one thinking calichick isn't even a woman? She seems more like a satirical version of a woman than an actual woman :/


No. trust me I don't think you're the only one. Either that or she's one bitter, messed up thirty something year old. Who knows for sure online.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Damon said:


> Sas legend is not really something you want to aspire to. Getting action in real life is where its at.Maybe spend less time being a legend here and more time meeting ACTUAL real life guys. Just a thought. :nerd:


Ew please stop stalking me. You're harassing me.

Stop quoting me.
Stop attacking me.
Stop accusing me of being this or that.
Stop following me.

Dude do you have a job?

Do you still live with your mommy?

Are you paying your bills?

Stop talking to me please you're annoying the sh*tniut o fme


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Reporting you for harassment

Bye honey
Have a nice life

Pretend you don't know me.

You don't know a calichick bye


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

newbornmind said:


> Seems to me that you've got a lot of anger towards men, and I understand that, it's there due to what you've experienced. But in my opinion, that ish is going to keep you blind from seeing the good guys that are out there for you. Have you tried addressing these issues with men that you have internally?


No not men sweetheart.

TOXIC men.

Bye honey


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## Orbiter (Jul 8, 2015)

For ****s sake, just go out and get yourself some fun!
What you're waiting for honey?
Go out and tell those handsome men out there "Molon Labe!".
...and no I'm not sarcastic right now, I mean it.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Orbiter said:


> For ****s sake, just go out and get yourself some fun!
> What you're waiting for honey?
> Go out and tell those handsome men out there "Molon Labe!".
> ...and no I'm not sarcastic right now, I mean it.


Um it's Thanksgiving everyone.

Calm down I'm not having sex tonight anyway.

The guys at my work are my source of all sexual release.

It's a national holiday.

I'm not going d*** patrolling

Calm the f*** down everyone

Lol @ everyone worried about me getting some...so glad MY sex life is of so much interest considerig half of you are virginal


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## Orbiter (Jul 8, 2015)

calichick said:


> Um it's Thanksgiving everyone.
> 
> Calm down I'm not having sex tonight anyway.
> 
> ...


...just wanted to write something encouraging but aight man, whatever you say...


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

You guys are all virgins and you're trying to give me advice on how to not settle for a loser




Um thanks but no thanks.

I'll be as picky as I damn well please.

Happy thanksgiving I'm so glad all of you bumped back up my topic after 2 weeks


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

calichick said:


> I wonder if any guy here has ever been treated like sh*t by a woman and they have absolutely no clue what they did to deserve it?


*raises hand* The last gal I dated, I made her laugh, treated her with respect as an equal, wasn't clingy nor distant. Yet she lied to me constantly and strung me along because she liked the attention. She would smile and laugh with me all the while gossiping behind my back to our coworkers how I'm "her b****". Was totally unfair, everyone at work now thinks less of us cause she couldn't be a mature adult. Dating coworkers is risky, never **** where you sleep they say, trust no one, oh but I never listen do I? I was affectionate and made her feel special / wanted, yet I gave her space when I felt vibes she wanted to be by herself. Eventually I pieced together she was seeing someone else---which is fine, but what killed the magic was

*she lied to me.*

She didn't trust me, she could of said, hey listen I like you but this is just whatever for now, I'm dating other people. I gave her many chances to be honest with me yet she wouldn't, assuming I'm really that dense? I then ignore her yet then she reaches out?

But no, she gave me an excuse that she was a closet lesbian and only saw me as a friend. How many friends do you kiss g'night on the mouth? Durr, wow love is blind and I'm a blind fool. Either she lied to me about being Bi and/or being a closest lesbian or she lied to all her friends, family about being engaged to a girl a few months ago, which is more likely?---Don't insult my intelligence. It doesn't take a genius to point out a selfish compulsive liar, pffft.

I'm standing there with an annoyed look on my face, (thinking) "umm you flirted with me first by touching my arms in a sensual manner, I then made it abundantly clear I found you attractive, exchange numbers, you texted me first months later to hangout twice. I finally somehow found courage (as a man with SA this is rare as hell lol) to ask you out. You agreed, and I was not cheap nor too forward, oh no. "

This was months ago and now we're smiling and "positive acquaintances" again at work, whatever that means pffft. I like what you typed out calichick actually, it applies to BOTH genders, to do RESEARCH yourselves and piece together what type of person you are interested in and see firsthand if they have been genuine with you or not.

Falling in love with someone like an idiot or being conned like a fool, is there even a difference these days?

BOTH women and men seem to lie these days and collect people interested in them, I can comprehend being indecisive and wanting to test different waters---yet honesty in a relationship is key. It seems to me everyone loves to pretend they are perfect in everyone's eyes and care about the actual attention they receive rather than the well being of the fool giving them the undeserved attention. It's not polygamous daters that I'm not attracted to, it's straight up liars, period. If I don't lie to someone I'm interested in dating, I expect more or less the same amount of honesty when it comes to matters like that. I realize people owe each other nothing in the beginning, yet I'm referring to girls I've known for months or years. Surely our "friendship" established some sort of trust by then--no? Fine, I'll fade and spend my time with another gal, one who appreciates genuine respect and honesty. I'd advise anyone else to do the same. People who treat other humans as disposable emotional pillows wind up with very few loyal and genuine friends. Fake friends amount to nothing when you really need someone to get your back in dark times. Actions speak louder than words, pay attention to body language, are they lying? What is their reputation like according to their friends, coworkers, family? Don't just focus on what others spoon-fed yeh, pay attention and see if there is any contradicting evidence. Lies can be easily unraveled if you notice the red flags & clues. What is your true opinion on this individual based on your objective perceptions? This is what true research is. People who deny the facts and purposely allow themselves to be blind to the truth? Now now, we're all much smarter than that, humans are more intuitive than that. Obviously that means you're settling, yes settling for someone who treats you poorly because you don't love yourself enough and think something, even if it's a lie is preferable to nothing. Validation and acceptance from someone who is truly loving and genuine, now that is definitely worth pursuing and I personally won't settle for anything less. I think that's mainly what calichick meant, yeah? Troll or not, thread is amusing. Why? Because it's about love and not settling, something so freakin' rare in this modern day world. I might be an average bloke, yet at least I'm honest, work hard for the things I value. I won't settle for a dishonest gal, I'm definitely worth much more than that at the very least. I think everyone feels this way somewhat, yeah?

I wonder if she feels any guilt or remorse..? Doubt it.

The only thing that salvaged my sanity was another girl a work, a childhood friend, who's a proud lesbian. She told me straight up that I have much more to offer so I shouldn't be upset, look for a better girl. Thank goodness for genuine people like her, girls/people like that restore my faith in humanity a tiny fraction a day at a time.

I should definitely delete this... I don't like reading it at all, important life lessons, meh.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Malek said:


> *raises hand* The last gal I dated, I made her laugh, treated her with respect as an equal, wasn't clingy nor distant. Yet she lied to me constantly and strung me along because she liked the attention. She would smile and laugh with me all the while gossiping behind my back to our coworkers how I'm "her b****". Was totally unfair, everyone at work now thinks less of us cause she couldn't be a mature adult. Dating coworkers is risky, never **** where you sleep they say, trust no one, oh but I never listen do I? I was affectionate and made her feel special / wanted, yet I gave her space when I felt vibes she wanted to be by herself. Eventually I pieced together she was seeing someone else---which is fine, but what killed the magic was
> 
> *she lied to me.*
> 
> ...


I agree with everything you said Malek.

I agree with the fact that everyone deserves unconditional love, everyone deserves to be with someone who they absolutely love and adore and are sexually, emotionally and physically attracted to.

I am looking for that, and I hope everyone else is successful in their endeavors.

I don't know about you all but I actually kind of like the whole process.

Of being single and being able to flirt with men and the unknown factor.

I do quite well with MEN and I enjoy their presence and how they interact with me but I don't respect a lot of them.

I hope you all don't take offense to this (not that it affects me much what you think).

I'm just having fun being young, single, and employed.

So sue me.


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## Damon (Oct 27, 2015)

calichick said:


> I agree with everything you said Malek.
> 
> I agree with the fact that everyone deserves unconditional love, everyone deserves to be with someone who they absolutely love and adore and are sexually, emotionally and physically attracted to.
> 
> ...


Yeah, ok dude. whatever. You're boring because you lack true troll wit. Just a knock off of a quality troll. Do you have to tuck when you go out on "dates"?


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

calichick said:


> I agree with everything you said Malek.
> 
> I agree with the fact that everyone deserves unconditional love, everyone deserves to be with someone who they absolutely love and adore and are sexually, emotionally and physically attracted to.
> 
> ...


No offense taken actually, I enjoy debates on here cause they often get shut down.

I even agree with the want to have fun being young, single, and employed, granted it's honest when it matters. It just irks me when one side is wanting something serious and the other side doesn't yet feigns they do. This has never been gender specific, so I personally don't understand the arguments in this thread. Different problems for different genders sure, yet it's up to both individuals to ask the important questions in the beginning, that is if they care about other people's "feelings" y'know, those silly emotions that humans possess because we are weak / not perfect?

Many other users pointed out already the double-standard to dating. These MEN who are dating WOMEN like you, don't respect much women like you either. It's because they can sense your disdain for their character. I have actual "friends" at work who confide in me cheating on their gf, wives, fiance. These confident, cocky, arrogant men, with the lucky genes and the physically fit body they work hard to maintain. Ever since I lost the weight and pushed myself mentally to socialize daily nonstop, I've come across people who lie for attention simply because they are bored with their repetitive lives. Why the hell would I trust a liar? Why should you? Why should anyone? Can anyone genuinely feel anything towards someone who lies to them with a smile? That's all I'm sayin' I wasn't attacking you, I was agreeing with you actually, which I find surprising myself. I was a devout Catholic for a long time, waited for love to lose my v-card, got burned in the process, now I feel hollow. Dating liars feels hollow and what's messed up is I'm the entitled one for expecting honesty when all I ever did was try to be honest. Seems to me my fate is often giving out gifts and not feeling appreciated, but this world owes us nothing and love isn't like the stories at all is it?

I'm young, have a job, car, wise, make investments, honest, average looking. Yet I can't even find this "fun" or "happiness" you mention about with dating. Luck? I believe in making my own luck, I could of settled many times for a mediocre fling or relationship, yet I deem that as ultimately a waste of my precious time. Cause despite all the heartache I do genuinely want to believe in love, hell even marriage, lol sad I guess, but I was raised that way, so perhaps I'm still brainwashed to believe in fantasies. Maybe as an agnostic I'm going to hell on so many levels for acting like a hypocrite, idk. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I wasn't judging you, I was just curious how you'd react to a man describing women who are much like the men you so described which you don't particularly care for, that's all.

I'm waiting for a real girl, even if I chat up as many girls I can, I too have preferences be it attraction, morality, genuineness.

So sue me.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

"4) Knowing your worth and building your own self-esteem. I deserve the best man possible. I am not going to settle for second best or measley hand me downs because I deserve everything and more of the opposite sex."

That overinflated ego is at Donald Trump levels. No, scratch that. You're more like a female Elliot Rogers.

I hope life has a big fat nasty wake up call in store for you.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

"Seems to me that you've got a lot of anger towards men, and I understand that, it's there due to what you've experienced. But in my opinion, that ish is going to keep you blind from seeing the good guys that are out there for you. Have you tried addressing these issues with men that you have internally?"



calichick said:


> No not men sweetheart.
> 
> TOXIC men.
> 
> Bye honey


See, somebody offers sound and reasonable advice and she gets all passive aggressive and condescending. Can't admit that she is the one with the problem. Or that she even has any at all.

Delusional and princess mode to the max, it doesn't get much worse than this. Bashing and stereotyping men, Contradicting herself constantly -

"men are toxic"
"i f*** married men!"
"men at work are horrible!"
"I f*** the men I work with!"

Schizo? Bipolar? Hmm... I mean, it's kind of funny from a safe distance.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Malek said:


> No offense taken actually, I enjoy debates on here cause they often get shut down.
> 
> I even agree with the want to have fun being young, single, and employed, granted it's honest when it matters. It just irks me when one side is wanting something serious and the other side doesn't yet feigns they do. This has never been gender specific, so I personally don't understand the arguments in this thread. Different problems for different genders sure, yet it's up to both individuals to ask the important questions in the beginning, that is if they care about other people's "feelings" y'know, those silly emotions that humans possess because we are weak / not perfect?
> 
> ...


So, just out of curiosity, what are the measures YOU take to weed out the bad girls?

What are the telltale indications that raise a red flag for you?


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

mjkittredge said:


> "4) Knowing your worth and building your own self-esteem. I deserve the best man possible. I am not going to settle for second best or measley hand me downs because I deserve everything and more of the opposite sex."
> 
> That overinflated ego is at Donald Trump levels. No, scratch that. You're more like a female Elliot Rogers.
> 
> I hope life has a big fat nasty wake up call in store for you.





mjkittredge said:


> "Seems to me that you've got a lot of anger towards men, and I understand that, it's there due to what you've experienced. But in my opinion, that ish is going to keep you blind from seeing the good guys that are out there for you. Have you tried addressing these issues with men that you have internally?"
> 
> See, somebody offers sound and reasonable advice and she gets all passive aggressive and condescending. Can't admit that she is the one with the problem. Or that she even has any at all.
> 
> ...


Sounds like my life choices are offending you.

Oh well.


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## mjkittredge (Sep 8, 2012)

calichick said:


> Sounds like my life choices are offending you.
> Oh well.


They don't offend me at all. Your attitude of entitlement and thinking you are gods gift to men is obnoxious though.

You say the word "toxic" often, and it's apt because it describes you so well. I'm going to call you Chernobyl Girl now, since you're a giant leaky disaster spewing radioactive ooze across the forums.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

calichick said:


> So, just out of curiosity, what are the measures YOU take to weed out the bad girls?
> 
> What are the telltale indications that raise a red flag for you?


My memory isn't precise and perfect yet it's decent when it counts.

If she tells me something awhile back and later on I find out she lied because her new stories don't align with the old ones, that'll raise a red flag for me.

Obviously if she's a friend and her body language tells me she'll never deem me attractive, I most likely won't lose much sleep over it. I have many insecure friends in my life who like to tell stories and if it doesn't affect me in the slightest I don't care too much about it, they often do become boring to me because I have to guess whether or not a new story sounds genuine or not.

Now if it's a girl that flirts with me or feigns interest, and she lies to me constantly after we supposedly got to know each other chatting / texting for months, then something clicks in my mind. I ask myself, was I honest with her? Yes, if I genuinely like a girl I will take the risk of trusting her, even exchanging embarrassing facts about my past. I sometimes gauge new acquaintances by confiding certain personal facts about myself, if they see me in a different light or gossip about me behind my back, most of the time I eventually find out, I often wish I didn't though, ignorance is bliss. The key to happiness is a forgetful mind, so they say.

I'm applying this train of thought to girls who have expressed interest in me, chatted or texted me for months, swapped personal stories with me, mentioned their standards or hinted at their preferences, subtly flirted with me and/or seemed receptive to my flirtatious compliments.

I'm fully aware no one owes anything in the beginning, yet when I risk a friendship and try to suggest a date but she's too afraid to be honest with me, it makes me question whether she respects me much as a person. Does she think she'll lose me as a friend if I know she's not into me? I'll still offer her rides, joke around with her, ask how are you, etc. Does she want an admirer or a friend? I personally admire friends who don't beat around the bush. I'm thankful for the friends who tell me what I NEEDED to hear, not lie to my face and state what they think I WANT to hear. Constructive criticism, that's true support in my book.

Men--people prefer an honest and polite rejection. Being led on is more painful obviously. That lie called hope, the attraction is usually there or it's not. Like I said before, if I like a girl, I do a little research and chat a little with her friends, coworkers, and family, then chat with her and if her stories are true, then that conveys that she at the very least, trusts me to be honest, most of the time when it matters, depends really on the lie. White lies are so so. Actions speak louder than mere honeyed words. Obviously I don't actively search for this stuff it often just turns out that way, I don't enjoy gossip. I am often curious about the people in her life and who she chooses to associate with. How she treats them and others around her, not just me. I always assumed that women do the same research men do too, if not more so. I consider that wise. Many people enjoy meeting new exciting/interesting people, yes, yet that doesn't mean subconsciously you're going to ignore the indicators of lies that randomly pop up out of nowhere. An unpleasant surprise. I personally don't want to believe in "the friend-zone". You both are either have a genuine chance together or you don't, if one side feels friend zoned, that means one person or both are lying about their feelings, most likely out of fear or insecurity. Genuine connections require honesty, even if it's the painful truth. That is how respect is earned, it takes more courage to be real and honest about those type of feelings. Most of us don't stumble upon honest individuals these days do we? If it is someone who's opinion we don't value much, we couldn't care less but if it's someone we want to have in our lives, or rather the idea of them becoming apart of our life in some way, it hurts doesn't it? It signifies that they think you're foolish enough to be manipulated, very disrespectful is it not? Respect is earned over time based on the actions of people. Lying to people is a poor action. Many people these days don't even apologize or feel any scrap of remorse for lying to someone they could of trusted.

Perhaps I'm being vindictive here? But when a person constantly lies to me, my interest in them as a person dwindles. There's no shortage of fake people out there. I think at the very least, people desire a partner they can trust, that's all. People grow tired of sifting through all the lies. People you deem attractive, you might allow some lies to slide, yet if it has the potential to affect your happiness down the line? I'd say you're better off not dating a compulsive liar, the whole point was to be happy with someone, liars make everyone unhappy. I can't really explain this broken record anymore lol. Three years and my preferences haven't changed much at all since I joined this site.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

mjkittredge said:


> They don't offend me at all. Your attitude of entitlement and thinking you are gods gift to men is obnoxious though.
> 
> You say the word "toxic" often, and it's apt because it describes you so well. I'm going to call you Chernobyl Girl now, since you're a giant leaky disaster spewing radioactive ooze across the forums.


oh great, another stalker.


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## calichick (Jul 30, 2010)

Malek said:


> My memory isn't precise and perfect yet it's decent when it counts.
> 
> If she tells me something awhile back and later on I find out* she lied *because her new stories don't align with the old ones, that'll raise a red flag for me.
> 
> ...


OH MY GOD!!!

All this faking it makes me nauseous and brings me back to my days of adolescence in college.

Do people still do that? UGH. I'm disgusted! Feigning interest and mixed signals and friendzoning and admirer territory? Is this real life?

Lord almighty where do you meet women and how old are you?

I am not kidding when I say cut-throat, no grey area, no second guessing, no mixed signals beyond casual flirtation here and there (to keep from attachment as mentioned in my OP). I can't do any of that bullsh*t you're talking about, if I don't see any romantic potential with a man, he doesn't exist to me!!! I don't associate with him there's no use for him to be in my life, I've got straight women and homosexual men as platonic friends and that's it!!!!

There's no need for rejection when you don't acknowledge them right off the bat!

OMG, poor YOU! How can you do this, what is your method of meeting women that you (assuming past the age of 20) are having trouble just getting in the front door so to speak? This sounds more like a typical female plight, _shes just not that into you_. I am exhausted myself by how much deception you perceive you have to cut through and it all seems so juvenile -definitely NOT fun NOR happy as you mentioned. Not fun at all.

I've only got eyes for the prize, when I find a man who makes my heart go :fall, I'm like, other men? What other men?

I loathe it, absolutely loathe it if a man gets the wrong impression. No no no no no, do not ever hint at a romantic gesture if I am treating you with as little interest as possible.

Do not interpret the least amount of interest to be anything more than it is because I hate awkward situations and I will avoid you if you push me to those ends.

Oh my, my friend. If all women are like that bless your heart. Bless I'm exhausted just reading about this bullcrap because I thought that was high school. I'm a grown a** woman with grown a** problems and I don't have time to be dealing with that, no.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

These are women in their 20s. Perhaps I'm drawn to the wrong girls and the ones who seem to appreciate my interest simply never learned how to reject a guy properly? Maybe I should start asking out older women? Those who have more experience in being blunt and not wasting time? 


Most of the time the interest feels mutual, they flirt with me irl or text first, then I think they lose interest and don't know how to convey this or they have me as a backup, which doesn't last for long since I usually fade away and ignore her. I'm not interested in games either, a girl will find me physically attractive yet doesn't mesh with my personality, I don't expect her to wanna date me. I've been hit on by girls I didn't find aesthetically pleasing, yet I never led them on, I only dated girls in which I initially found alluring. Obviously seeing whether or not you have chemistry requires quite a few dates. It's imperative for personalities to mesh well and compliment each other, no? 

I haven't tried dating in months now, I'm more focused on my health, my surgery. After I recuperate and feel content, maybe I'll think differently.


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## Kanova (Dec 17, 2012)

You must realize that your standards are keeping you single. You must realize your ego is what attracts the people you hate. You must realize your personality is complete ****, and that is probably why men just see you as a vaginal cum dumpster. 

I don't think you will find a man that is over 6', fit, has a really good job, very intelligent, hilarious, care-free, always with lust and fire in his eyes, AND loves you, and only you. 

The thing about men, they need a woman they find attractive, but is also compatible and actually has a personality. Unfortunately you are vain, a narcissist, arrogant and egocentric. I'm not really saying this to be a *****, just stating the obvious in case you didn't know it though I am SURE you do know it. So the point of this thread eludes me. You can easily weed out the bad guys but not being a bad person...If you act like something, that is the something you will get. Being the office bicycle, you know that isn't going to win the admiration of a good guy. But you find good guys boring, so it is a vicious cycle.

If you can start anew, and change the way you act and your views, then you probably have a shot at getting the life you want. If you don't, well you say you are mid 20's. How much longer do you think you are going to be the top cut of beef? Looks fade, and you're more than half way to being nothing.

Also, you don't actually use those little nick names in real life, do you? Like, "Honey" "Boo boo" "Hun" "Sweety" If you do, that would probably be another issue. That just comes off as you being a pretentious condescending ****.


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## Vaust (Feb 12, 2012)

I've never had a girlfriend so obviously I don't know what I'm talking about. I have plenty of issues preventing me from approaching every girl I see at the grocery store and asking her out but even if I didn't I'm not sure I'd want to go with that approach. I dunno if I can explain it very well but that just doesn't seem right to me.


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