# I want to go to college but I'm scared.



## CocoaMoo (Mar 19, 2013)

In Fantasy Land college sounds awesome. I'm finally away from my parents, I can start acting like an adult. I can buy what I want, do what I want. I get to learn so many things and by the end of my schooling, be it 4 year or more, I'll be ready to get into a good career.

But that's not the way the world works. I'm not even sure how to get into college in my situation, or even what degree to go after. But that's besides the point. I have almost no experience with school outside of elementary. 

I was in sixth grade for the first semester then refused to go. I was homeschooled for three years then my schooling just stopped. I don't want to go into it but I was forced to drop-out. Since then I've basically been inside my house, with no interact from anyone outside my family (especially teenagers). I could spend 5, 6 months without stepping foot outside. 

I don't interact well with people my age or around my age. If you're in your late 20s I'm fine but younger people? Nope. Especially girls for some reason.

School is a major panic point for me, obviously. There were several times I'd have panic attacks and refuse to go to school, even when I was dressed and about to go, 'just' because I didn't have my work done. When I was in fifth and especially sixth grade I was terrified to go into classrooms because I felt people were watching and judging me; I'd stay outside during homeroom, when that was against the rules, and pretend I was late because I didn't want the attention. Basically school is a death sentence.

But I love school even if I fear it too. I want to learn and I want to be around others my age. I don't know how to deal with it.

Add to the fact my parents were overprotective to near abusive levels, I don't know how I'd react being alone. I remember the leap from "Teachers taking you everywhere in school" that occurs in elementary to the "You have to arrive on class on your own, on time" caused me to freak out enough.. Think about that to the extremes that college has. No parents, at all, for long periods of time. You're just around a bunch of rowdy kids you don't know.

To add onto this all, college is inducing that schoolwork related anxiety of mine. I'm not smart enough for any of the careers I'm interested in and this time the stakes are high. College isn't free, schooling isn't free, I'll probably be neck deep in debt if I make the wrong choices and fail. 

Even thinking about college can nearly give me panic attacks some times.

I don't know what to do. I've heard people say I should get myself sorted out before I go to college but I don't have the time. The sooner I begin my schooling, the better.


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## xxXXD3fy1ingxXXGrav1ty (Aug 24, 2013)

Why don't you attend community college, get things sorted out. After you get things together you can transfer to a university. It's cheaper that way.


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## JezykaFreak (Aug 26, 2013)

*Build Confidence*

Try to master most of the things that being on your own is going to bring before you actually have to move...

learn to cook basic meals
learn to budget
learn to grocery shop
learn about fafsa, taxes
order your textbooks early so that you're prepared for the first few lessons in class... you should be able to return your textbooks if the material is too hard and then just don't take that particular class
do research on your college's website about all your different responsibilities as a student

As for all of your issues with fearing school, you will need to get professional help to overcome that one, but most colleges have a counselor that is free to students, so that may work for you.

if you don't have any friends to help you through it, forge some online friendships or turn to a support group like this one.


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## Higgins (Apr 19, 2012)

Hey buddy. I dropped out of the school early in the 9th grade, so I have a little more experience with the public school system (unfortunately), and I'm starting my very first semester at college on Wednesday. I had the same exact issues as you regarding panic attacks, refusing to go despite being ready, being "late" on purpose, etc., so I definitely know where you're coming from big time.

The independence can actually be really difficult depending on how competent your school is (the staff at mine can barely answer anything I ask...), but I just wanna let you know that if you go through the process and feel incredibly frustrated, you'll eventually get the hang of things.

There's no one true way to deal with your anxiety - some find help in medication, others find success in weekly therapy (sometimes alongside medication), and being exposed to social situations.

Don't doubt yourself. School is for learning - not many people go in already prepared to start a career in their desired field. Hell, even when they finish their four-year degree, some people still aren't "ready" or "smart enough" until they get some menial experience under their belt.  I'm in the same position, thinking I'm too stupid for the fields I'm interested in, but I'm really not; neither are you.

You pretty much answered yourself - you wanna start going to school ASAP. Nobody is every truly sorted. People will always find some excuse or another to put something off, especially education, but you seem to be really into the thought of learning, and all I can say is don't wait. I'm 21 now and loathe most people I meet who are younger than me, and college is *full* of them. However, life won't wait for me, and so I'm taking the plunge. Remember that if you end up hating it, you don't _have_ to keep going.

*I didn't touch on the money issue because I can't tell you whether or not it would be worth possibly going into debt for. Would you qualify for financial aid?

Sorry that my response is kinda all over the place!


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