# A method to help decrease SA



## blank_mind (Feb 14, 2007)

Sorry if anything like this has been mentioned before, but i have a method which i use to try and beat my SA which has been working quite well, and i thought i would share it with you. 

Basically what you do is write down every little thing that makes you feel anxious, even the tiny little things. You then put them into an order of how anxious they make you feel, with the least anxiety provoking ones at the top and the most anxiety provoking ones at the bottom of the list. For this part i rated each thing out of 10, with a 1 for a lesser anxiety provoking event, and 10 for a high anxiety provoking event.

What you then do is to try and start working at the things at the top of the list that only cause a little anxiety. You keep repeating the thing that causes the anxiety over and over until it causes no more anxiety, gradually exposing yourself to your fears. As you do this, your confidence should increase in the thing you are doing, to the point where it is no longer a problem and you can tick it off the list. You then move on to the more anxiety provoking things on the list and repeat the same process with them.

To give an example, i wrote down a list of everything that caused me anxiety about 2 months ago. The first thing on the list (the least SA provoking one) was saying thank you to bus drivers when i get off the bus. This is a very small thing but it used to cause me a fair bit of anxiety, to the point where i never said anything. So i took the step forward and began saying thankyou, and within a few weeks the anxiety was pretty much gone! I even started asking the bus drivers for directions/asking where the bus was going etc.

The next thing on the list was talking on forums, and speaking to people on the internet. I decided to join another SA forum, and i have since then completely eliminated any anxieties i used to have. Like i am now able to post this, a few months ago i could never do that.

I have other things on my list such as "begin a conversation with somebody", "smile and acknowledge people who i know" and "ask questions when i am in class", which i am now working on.

I think the main point of this is to _gradually_ expose yourself to your fears, don't jump in at the deep end, but try and work on the easier things first, and as your confidence builds up you will be able to tackle the more difficult things.

Hope that has been helpful!


----------



## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

It seems a good idea, but what about things you've been doing all the time that still cause fear? For example, walking by people outside or dealing with grocery checkers. Should these things not go on the list since they don't submit to repetition? If skipping such things, how easy is it to convince yourself that other things will get better with repetition?


----------



## Lilfly (Feb 16, 2007)

Hi,

It does sound like a good idea..I think I'm going to try it. And as far as the repetition thing, maybe if you put really small things and very gradually build to the "this is gonna kill me" stuff, maybe by then you'll have enough success' under your belt that it'll be easier (?).

You know, everywhere i read it's always "exposure" therapy. That seems to be about the only thing therapy really has to offer. This just puts it all in your own hands..Just a thought. :um 

Thanks again,
Lilfly


----------



## Softy785 (Apr 16, 2006)

Thanks for the post, Adam. That is a great method and I may try to use it. What you described reminds me a lot of the cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques I have been learning recently. The trick is to start with something small, and repeat the situation until you can _feel_ the success behind it, and then move on to the next anxiety causing situation on your "heirarchy". Over time the situations that you once feared no longer become such a big deal and you are amazed at what you are able to do with little or no anxiety. I wish you continued success in your efforts and want to encourage you to keep moving forward and don't give up, no matter what!


----------



## kowabonga (Jun 10, 2006)

I think this is as good approach but at the same time i'm not sure it's possible to get completely rid of the anxiety only by exposure. As Paul says some things keep on giving anxiety. I've tried doing a lot of things to expose myself but it hasn't changed much for me. I think that's where the cognitive part of cbt comes in. We have to change our thoughts too.


----------



## Mr_nobody (Jan 30, 2007)

I recently bought a book that describes the exact same thing but, first the book teaches you ways to deal with anxiety and then you have to apply those methods _while_ repeatedly facing those situations. You can't just jump into uncomfortable situations without first changing the way you think. You have to convince yourself that people _aren't_ judging you the way you think they are.

The book I bought is entitled "Dying of Embarrassment: Help for Social Anxiey & Phobia"

I don't mean to burst your bubble; just making a point.


----------



## aboveandbelow (Jan 16, 2007)

LOL my list would probably take me a couple weeks to compile.


----------



## phantomsolstice (Aug 29, 2005)

Paul said:


> It seems a good idea, but what about things you've been doing all the time that still cause fear? For example, walking by people outside or dealing with grocery checkers. Should these things not go on the list since they don't submit to repetition? If skipping such things, how easy is it to convince yourself that other things will get better with repetition?


I kind of think the goal shouldn't be to remove a feeling, because feelings make us who we are even if we don't like to feel uncomfortable - but rather to retrain the mind to respond to fear in a more effective and challenging way. I'm not sure..


----------

