# Friendzoned my one friend at college, Now he's angry that I have a crush!



## BlueBerryKiss19 (Jun 14, 2013)

I have one friend at my college, I've know him since high school. He talked to me during high school despite being a senior and me being a freshman; because I had no friends and got bullied constantly. Sometime during that year he started liking me. My junior year I started a program to take community college classes instead of traditional classes at the high school, and he ended up telling me that he use to have a crush on me. It's my senior year now and he is starting to flirt with me, obvious enough for me to tell at that. The thing is that he knows I have a crush thing on a guy who is also in the same kind of high school/college program. I'm sure he has a anxiety probably as well; but my friend would always say you should date him, you would be a cute couple, etc. Recently agreed to help me talk to him, but since he's said that he's had a really short temper and gets angry and yells at me. I don't want to lose my friendship with him, but I don't want to never attempt to talk to anyone of the opposite gender because he's around. At the same time I just want to give up trying to talk to the guy in the program because I think he hates me... I try to sit the same study area as him and he leaves campus.. After that I went home, sat in the corner and sulked. The only time I've talked to him was last week when I offered him a cough drop and he said it wasn't him who coughed... I went to the other side of campus after that. Too make it worse... I'm probably just paranoid but I say a post on this site basically saying I wish she would stop sitting by me and attempting to talk to me and it'll never work, etc. ... its from the same day the cough drop thing happened..
I don't know what to do, it's really bothering me and I have no close friends to talk with about it... Any insight or advice would be helpful.
Sorry it's so long!


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Firstly, the friend zone is not a real thing. Either he is genuinely your friend or he isn't.

It sounds like he isn't. He's a guy who wants to date you but can't so he sulks and takes his anger out on you. He probably keeps you in his life in the vague hope that he can hook up with you at some point in the future. This isn't really friendship.

As for the other guy, I'm afraid you just have to talk to him. There's no shortcuts. Take time to get to know him a bit without jumping to conclusions straight away. Nervousness might make him a bit stand-offish/avoidant at first. Only time will tell if he likes you or not.


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## ilsr (Aug 29, 2010)

I think you need to give up your friendship with this guy. Don't think it's going to help anymore. 

18 years ago I was similar to that guy. I was friendly with a girl by email who was also shy. Back then we only had usenet and emails. We emailed a lot. Then she emailed she had a new guy "friend". then I got jealous and she still wanted to be a friend. Later on, we just got to fighting. And she was already that guy's new girlfriend.

Well today, I still never had a gf. Yeah, I'm the deepest pit loser, but I'm going on with life for now to the end. i was born to be this way alone with no friends and now I laugh at the ridiculous crap hand life has dealt me and keeping shoving enemies in my face who constantly destroy me socially. But anyways, I suggest you break off contact with your old friend. He's not going to want to be a friend in this situation in my best estimation. And if he was only just wanting to be a friend, he wouldn't have been angry.


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## schitz0skittl3s (Sep 25, 2013)

It sounds like that guy you're "friends with" is a toxic person who is only going to keep you from being happy with other people. If he was really your friend he wouldn't prevent you from having relationships with other people. You don't owe him anything, and if he can't accept that then trying to save a friendship with him will only cause you both more suffering.

As for the guy you have a crush on, really the only thing you can do is try to talk to him. If he shows no interest then there really isn't much you can do beyond that. If it doesn't work out with him, there are plenty of guys in college. The pickings will be ripe.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Oh, FFS people, *there is no friendship*.

"Friendship" goes both ways, and *this* doesn't go both ways. Anything this guy continues to say or do towards the so-called "friendship" is due to his delusional thinking that she'll somehow, some day "come around" and get into a relationship with him.

It hasn't been a "friendship" from the get-go, but now that you've gotten yourself so far into it, you're going to have a hell of a time cutting him loose.


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## Raziel177 (Sep 7, 2013)

You guys are quick to judge. Maybe her friend just gets angry but doesn't mean it. I mean, what are friends for if you're going to put a mask on whenever they are around? They are supposed to understand you, if that is what friendship means.

If he's been around you that much, I think he really wants to be close to you, but if you don't want him, just tell him not to be jealous because that's what you chose.

If you want to make him not feel like he wasted all of his time in vain, just tell him that there is a chance you will change your mind and you will start liking him again, but only if he behaves. If he really wants you, he will listen to you. If not, then he will need to start looking for another. This is from my own experience, it may not work with everyone.


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