# Would you go out with a girl you find ugly?



## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

or would you be embarrassed in public

or what would people say that you didnt end up with someone better looking

just wondering how people think


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

I dated a girl that was slightly overweight once ( which isn't a big deal to me ) and I had people tell me that I could have done better.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

Why would you want to date someone you didn't find attractive? That makes no sense. 

Why would I date for what other people think of me, anyways? If I like someone, they're dating me, not my friends or other people. 


I really don't understand some logic... Actions like this just make men look like they are even more desperate and shallow. I guess whatever makes you feel better in where you get your validation from.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

rdrr said:


> Why would you want to date someone you didn't find attractive? That makes no sense.
> 
> *Why would I date for what other people think of me, anyways?* If I like someone, they're dating me, not my friends or other people.
> 
> I really don't understand some *logic*... Actions like this just make men look like they are even more desperate and shallow. I guess whatever makes you feel better in where you get your validation from.


Why are you trying to apply logic to a situation that is based on irrational insecurities? SA isn't logical, so I think it's a legitimate question. Personally I dated girls who I didn't find super attractive at first because I wanted the experience interacting with girls in general. To gain confidence and put myself out there in any way that I could. My first gf was not so attractive and yes, I did not really want to show her off in front of people. Now that I am more confident around girls, I only go for ones that I find attractive.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

rymo said:


> Why are you trying to apply logic to a situation that is based on irrational insecurities? SA isn't logical, so I think it's a legitimate question. Personally I dated girls who I didn't find super attractive at first because I wanted the experience interacting with girls in general. To gain confidence and put myself out there in any way that I could. My first gf was not so attractive and yes, I did not really want to show her off in front of people. Now that I am more confident around girls, I only go for ones that I find attractive.


So you're saying you dated females that you didn't find attractive, led them on, just so you can get some experience?

Did you eventually grow tired of putting on the front, and rejected your first gf, and move up that ladder to a more crowd pleasing gf?

No, this isn't about social anxiety whatsoever. It's about where you derive your value and worthiness from. It may seem OK for you, but I'm sure you are trying your best to move as far past your experiences with your first "girlfriend".


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

Why would you date someone you found ugly?


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## pastels (Sep 18, 2012)

^^ u can date females you dont find attractive its normal. some people just go for personality. ive known people who didnt find their mate attractive at first and have grown to love the other so its perfectly fine unless u think relationships r based on just looks


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

rdrr said:


> So you're saying you dated females that you didn't find attractive, led them on, just so you can get some experience?
> 
> Did you eventually grow tired of putting on the front, and rejected your first gf, and move up that ladder to a more crowd pleasing gf?
> 
> No, this isn't about social anxiety whatsoever. It's about where you derive your value and worthiness from. It may seem OK for you, but I'm sure you are trying your best to move as far past your experiences with your first "girlfriend".


While I agree that there is a fine line between achieving personal happiness and being completely selfish when it comes to this, you've got me pegged completely wrong. I had a great time with my first girlfriend and we're still good friends to this day. I didn't grow tired of putting on any front, because I didn't. I just enjoyed my time with her with no regrets. When I realized that she was not for me, I had to do the right thing and break things off. And today I have no interest in finding a girl who is "crowd pleasing", I have an interest in finding a girl who is "me pleasing". Now that I know I can get a girl like that, that is what I am pursuing. And it is ABSOLUTELY about social anxiety. SA => no experience => no confidence. Putting myself out there and meeting girls, regardless of their attractiveness, allowed me to get to where I am today. But I didn't do it by walking over their bloody corpses. I am still friends with almost every girl I've dated for a significant amount of time.


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## beansly (Sep 5, 2011)

If you are embarrassed of taking your significant other out in public or introducing her to your friends then that's your problem; that's shallow and disgusting and you don't deserve to be dating someone until you learn how the world really works. Looks fade, approval of society is nothing but a fleeting feeling, and the opinion of others is pointless.

Pastels put it very well, looks aren't everything and we put way to weight in them. 


pastels said:


> ^^ u can date females you dont find attractive its normal. some people just go for personality. ive known people who didnt find their mate attractive at first and have grown to love the other so its perfectly fine unless u think relationships r based on just looks


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

rymo said:


> While I agree that there is a fine line between achieving personal happiness and being completely selfish when it comes to this, you've got me pegged completely wrong. I had a great time with my first girlfriend and we're still good friends to this day. I didn't grow tired of putting on any front, because I didn't. I just enjoyed my time with her with no regrets. When I realized that she was not for me, I had to do the right thing and break things off. And today I have no interest in finding a girl who is "crowd pleasing", I have an interest in finding a girl who is "me pleasing". Now that I know I can get a girl like that, that is what I am pursuing. And it is ABSOLUTELY about social anxiety. SA => no experience => no confidence. Putting myself out there and meeting girls, regardless of their attractiveness, allowed me to get to where I am today. But I didn't do it by walking over their bloody corpses. I am still friends with almost every girl I've dated for a significant amount of time.


People with social anxiety still seem to get experience with dating and relationships, and push themselves in that venue, past their anxieties, without dating people they find unattractive, just to get experience.

Using someone in that way, just so you can help your "SA" is not justifiable. But it would be easy to say, oh, I wouldn't date them anyway.

Now does one really have to resort to such tactics? Is that the advice you would give to someone to instill confidence in them in the realm of dating and relationships?


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

beansly said:


> If you are embarrassed of taking your significant other out in public or introducing her to your friends then that's your problem; that's shallow and disgusting and you don't deserve to be dating someone until you learn how the world really works. Looks fade, approval of society is nothing but a fleeting feeling, and the opinion of others is pointless.


 :clapExactly. SA doesn't mean you can use other people and it be okay. You are just as bad as the stereotypical type of guy that uses women like toys if you do that.

If you want to date someone to improve your confidence, you are a user. No excuses.


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

I wouldn't date someone who I didn't find attractive. It would be wrong to do so out of pity.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

I think people can have sex freely, and not care about it.

But when you want to get serious...I mean, really? You'd marry someone you find ugly?

And I'm not talking about dating supermodels here. Some of us guys find average looking girls attractive, or have different standards of beauty than the norm. That doesn't mean we should date women we are repulsed by...someone else will find that woman beautiful, and we can date someone we find beautiful. Everyone wins.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

rdrr said:


> People with social anxiety still seem to get experience with dating and relationships, and push themselves in that venue, past their anxieties, without dating people they find unattractive, just to get experience.
> 
> Using someone in that way, just so you can help your "SA" is not justifiable. But it would be easy to say, oh, I wouldn't date them anyway.
> 
> Now does one really have to resort to such tactics? Is that the advice you would give to someone to instill confidence in them in the realm of dating and relationships?


Again, you're acting as if I actually used "tactics". My first girlfriend was the first girl that showed any interest in me. OF COURSE I'm going to jump on the opportunity. And if I didn't want to be in a relationship with her at the time, then I wouldn't have. It's possible that my insecurities pushed me into something that I didn't know I didn't want at the time, but again - insecurities create irrational perceptions of yourself and the situations around you.

As far as dating goes, there's nothing wrong with hanging out and having fun with a girl with no expectations, as long as both parties are aware of that. If you think a girl is cute but not necessarily your type, there's nothing wrong with dating her as long as you don't lead her on. And in this respect, I would absolutely promote dating someone less than attractive to gain confidence.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

Uhhhmmm....why would I go out with a girl I thought was ugly? I mean, you get with someone, what draws you to someone, is the physical attraction. You don't look across the room at a woman at a party and think, oh, man, she's ugly, I'm all over that! Well...at least I don't.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

ThatOneQuietGuy said:


> I dated a girl that was slightly overweight once ( which isn't a big deal to me ) and I had people tell me that I could have done better.


How did you felt/ what you did said to them? Was it a reason to your break up? (reaction of others).


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

No. Why would you anyways?


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## Visionary (Apr 13, 2010)

I'm going to stop reading some of the comments in this thread and put my own input on how I feel about this. 

I wouldn't date a guy that I found ugly, I wouldn't be happy, and I don't want to led someone on to thinking that they actually have a chance with me. If I was on the "ugly" side, I would feel hurt and devastated. Dating to get ahead or get use to it? why don't you just make friends and flirt with girls. Holy crap people. 

People on SA really scare me.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

rymo said:


> Why are you trying to apply logic to a situation that is based on irrational insecurities? SA isn't logical, so I think it's a legitimate question. Personally I dated girls who I didn't find super attractive at first because I wanted the experience interacting with girls in general. To gain confidence and put myself out there in any way that I could. My first gf was not so attractive and yes, I did not really want to show her off in front of people. Now that I am more confident around girls, I only go for ones that I find attractive.


So you're using her just for your own good? That's **** up especially if shes really digging you.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

I'm not going to go out with someone I do not find attractive, what on earth is the point..


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

visualkeirockstar said:


> So you're using her just for your own good? That's **** up especially if shes really digging you.


*facepalm*


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

This thread will not end well.


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

^ I was just thinking the same thing.

In b4 da lock


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

I think guys won't date girls they find ugly. I don't blame them, no one is going to think I'm super hot ever but yeah I wouldn't want a guy to date me if he felt I was repulsive. Sorry that's no way to be happy. Now maybe there really is someone out there who will see the awesome me that is there when you get past my appearance. Ifnot I'll be okay, either way, I don't think I'd want to spend time with someone who truely believed I was ugly. As much as I try to be objective and say I am a 'zero' on peoples attractiveness ladders I actually see a beautiful girl sometimes. Might not be reality but maybe there is a guy out there that can share that delusion with me


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Yes, if I loved her. 

If I loved talking to her. If I loved spending time with her. If I loved her cooking. Why wouldn't I?

My penis is really not very picky. The male sexual instinct is very strong. Sex feels great no matter who you have it with. 

It's only people with low self esteem who need beautiful arm candy to impress people. If you like yourself you're free to do what you want and love who you want.


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## 0589471 (Apr 21, 2012)

The question sounds very silly. Attractiveness depends on the person, sure there tends to be a common "look" people go for, but in general? Whatever a person finds attractive, is what they're going to pursue. Why would someone pursue someone they find unattractive? 

What is attractive to me, may be unattractive to another girl. What is unattractive to him, may be very attractive to that guy. It's really a matter of opinion and personal interest. 

In some cases, like for example, I had a friend I never thought much of looks-wise. Just whatever. Then once I really got to know him, and developed a crush on him, suddenly he looked a lot more attractive. That can happen too, but at the same time they were never "unattractive" to me in the first place, they just didn't stand out right away until I got to know them.


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## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)

I would not date somebody I wasn't physically attracted to. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder though. If I found my girl attractive but my friends didn't, I probably wouldn't care less.


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## Stilla (May 13, 2009)

Meh I wouldn't but I think there's a lot of people that would, it's probably just a bit shameful to admit though. 
As one poster said it could be for experience, and other reasons could be not wanting to be alone, desperation, don't feel as anxious around someone you're not attracted to etc.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

rymo said:


> Why are you trying to apply logic to a situation that is based on irrational insecurities? SA isn't logical, so I think it's a legitimate question. Personally I dated girls who I didn't find super attractive at first because I wanted the experience interacting with girls in general. To gain confidence and put myself out there in any way that I could. My first gf was not so attractive and yes, I did not really want to show her off in front of people. Now that I am more confident around girls, I only go for ones that I find attractive.


same


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## Luka92 (Dec 13, 2011)

No.


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

rymo said:


> If you think a girl is cute but not necessarily your type, there's nothing wrong with dating her as long as you don't lead her on. And in this respect, I would absolutely promote dating someone less than attractive to gain confidence.


Dating _is_ leading someone on, why else would you be dating someone if you're not attracted to them? jesus.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

meeps said:


> Dating _is_ leading someone on, why else would you be dating someone if you're not attracted to them? jesus.


Because you have a good time with them? Jeez people around here are shallow.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

beansly said:


> If you are embarrassed of taking your significant other out in public or introducing her to your friends then that's your problem; that's shallow and disgusting and you don't deserve to be dating someone until you learn how the world really works. Looks fade, approval of society is nothing but a fleeting feeling, and the opinion of others is pointless.
> 
> Pastels put it very well, looks aren't everything and we put way to weight in them.


Okay then why do you have social anxiety if you're not out for society's approval?


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

rymo said:


> *facepalm*


They do not understand, my friend.


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## Mithun (Sep 25, 2008)

why not if it doesn't harm in any way.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

srschirm said:


> Okay then why do you have social anxiety if you're not out for society's approval?


'Zactly.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

beansly said:


> If you are embarrassed of taking your significant other out in public or introducing her to your friends then that's your problem; that's shallow and disgusting and you don't deserve to be dating someone until you learn how the world really works. Looks fade, approval of society is nothing but a fleeting feeling, and the opinion of others is pointless.
> 
> Pastels put it very well, looks aren't everything and we put way to weight in them.


Didn't you say that you wanted to date a guy who is tall because you yourself are tall (6 feet)? How is a woman selecting for height any different than a man selecting for physical attractiveness? Except for the fact that the short guy is screwed since there's nothing we can do about that (wearing lifts would just make us look even more insecure and when the clothes come off, the illusion is over. Unless you wear your shoes in the bedroom) whereas the unattractive woman, unless she has a naturally unattractive face and can't be salvaged by makeup, has some sort of chance of improving her appearance. If you dated a guy like me who was 5'6", you'd be embarrassed about how it would look in public being 6 inches taller than your boyfriend and/or you wouldn't find that masculine enough to be physically attractive. How is that any different?

I think humans ARE extremely shallow. All of us. It just varies by degree with each individual. Much of dating/romance can come down to the laws of economics: supply and demand. People "settle" in relationships all the time, "settling" for partners who aren't quite that desirable in their eyes because they feel that they can't do better.

I would go as far as to say that human social relationships in general can be broken down to the laws of economics. We like to think that social relationships are this amazing, life-enriching thing. When really we're just animals who think that we are above the animal kingdom when we really aren't.


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

rymo said:


> Because you have a good time with them? Jeez people around here are shallow.


What's wrong with just being friends then? oh right, sex.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

meeps said:


> What's wrong with just being friends then? oh right, sex.


Duh? And that goes both ways. Girls enjoy sex just as much as guys.


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## meeps (Dec 5, 2011)

rymo said:


> Duh? And that goes both ways. Girls enjoy sex just as much as guys.


Yet she wasn't ashamed of being seen with you in public, was she?


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

meeps said:


> Yet she wasn't ashamed of being seen with you in public, was she?


Why would anyone be ashamed of being seen with Rymo in public? He's one of the coolest dudes on here.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

meeps said:


> Yet she wasn't ashamed of being seen with you in public, was she?


Who are you referring to? My first girlfriend? Excuse me for being in the throws of SA and caring too much about what people thought about me.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

phoenixwright said:


> Men aren't comfortable with this knowledge. But the truth is women crave sex a lot less than men do in general.


Perhaps, but every woman I've been with seems to have enjoyed it as much as me.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

srschirm said:


> Okay then why do you have social anxiety if you're not out for society's approval?


I don't have social anxiety because I want society's approval. I have social anxiety because I don't feel comfortable with people looking down on me/seeing me as inferior. That is definitely not the same thing. This isn't an either/or situation. If people feel neutral about me, I really don't care.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

phoenixwright said:


> I don't have social anxiety because I want society's approval. I have social anxiety because I don't feel comfortable with people looking down on me/seeing me as inferior. That is definitely not the same thing. This isn't an either/or situation. If people feel neutral about me, I really don't care.


Huh? How is that any different?


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

srschirm said:


> Huh? How is that any different?


Just because you don't think badly about someone doesn't mean you approve of them. You may not have an opinion one way or the other about someone or feel indifferent towards them.


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## atlex (Jul 23, 2012)

You will be hard pressed to find ugly women these days


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## Xtraneous (Oct 18, 2011)

**** no.


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## MollyAmins (Sep 25, 2012)

superficial attraction, mehhhh.......


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## pineapplebun (Oct 25, 2011)

*Lost faith in men, thanks to SAS*
I'm just going to become a lesbian.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

pineapplebun said:


> *Lost faith in men, thanks to SAS*
> I'm just going to become a lesbian.


Why?


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

A Toxic Butterfly said:


> The question sounds very silly. Attractiveness depends on the person, sure there tends to be a common "look" people go for, but in general? Whatever a person finds attractive, is what they're going to pursue. Why would someone pursue someone they find unattractive?
> 
> What is attractive to me, may be unattractive to another girl. What is unattractive to him, may be very attractive to that guy. It's really a matter of opinion and personal interest.
> 
> In some cases, like for example, I had a friend I never thought much of looks-wise. Just whatever. Then once I really got to know him, and developed a crush on him, suddenly he looked a lot more attractive. That can happen too, but at the same time they were never "unattractive" to me in the first place, they just didn't stand out right away until I got to know them.


Thank you! These are my thoughts exactly :clap

If I find her repulsive I wouldn't want to be around her period lol. Now to accomplish the goal of this thread I will take the liberty of paraphrashing the question.

Would I go out in public with a girl I assumed the majority of others found unattractive?

My answer is...Yes, as long as I found her attractive. Growing up I've realized that a guy's opinion on women can vary greatly. Even women that are generally acknowledged as attractive aren't attractive to many other men. If anyone's in doubt you should look up the "People you find unattractive but everyone else doesn't" thread <--that's not the actual name lol but it's the topic. After sharing my opinions on looks with guy friends for so long that thread didn't surprise me. FACT IS: I'm attracted to a lot of women who my guy friends may find unattractive.

I've had massive insecurity issues in the past and I settled for dating or rather entering full blown relationships with girls I wasn't even slightly attracted to. I felt like they were the best I deserved and I appreciated them. In hindsight it wasn't wise for me to mess with females that I'm not attracted to. I didn't want to kiss them lol. But you know what? My friends made fun of me all the time and I stuck up for the girls. I claimed that the girls were so cool on the inside (they weren't, they were terrible lol) and that's what mattered. I also walked around with these girls at school. And we all know highschool is about THE WORST place to be if you are tying to avoid being judged or criticized. At the time it was hurtful to be made fun of by my closest friends (they went all out on making fun of these girls) but it didn't stop me then AND I wasn't even attracted to them.

If she turns me on, if I like her looks, if I am attracted to her, I will not try to hide her. Trophy wives/girlfriends/dates do come in handy to earn the shallow respect of your feeble minded comrades but it doesn't do much for me in the relationship with the girl.

I've experienced being with girls I'm really attracted to and ones I'm not and the experience is completely different. I wont date a girl I don't actually find attractive.

I do consider myself sort of shallow sometimes but the girls I mentioned not being attracted to weren't only unattractive because of looks (I actually thought a couple of them were kinda cute) but their personalities were a complete mess. Let's just say, they were crazy IN A BAD WAY. Not the "She's weird, unique, and interesting" kinda crazy.

Also as "A Toxic Butterfly" stated, attractiveness can change when getting to know someone. A females personality can make or break her attractiveness. For me at least. Some personality traits will make any female "ugly" to me and vice versa.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

pineapplebun said:


> *Lost faith in men, thanks to SAS*
> I'm just going to become a lesbian.


First I find out my crush from last month was a lesbian, now you're turning lesbian. There must be something in the water in Toronto. lol. jk


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## pineapplebun (Oct 25, 2011)

phoenixwright said:


> First I find out my crush from last month was a lesbian, now you're turning lesbian. There must be something in the water in Toronto. lol. jk


Haha perhaps you're right. Or...what are the men in Toronto GTA doing to us?! lol jk jk.



srschirm said:


> Why?


I was joking about turning into a lesbian, but the impression I get from guys on SAS in general really has put a negative spin on my faith in men. For one, it seems like people are justifying misleading women and using them as a means of personal gain like confidence boost. If you plan on dating someone, without the intent of actually wanting to be with them for long-term, that is leading them on. Unless you state that you don't want anything long-term. If you want a confident boost, start befriending women for one. If you want the sex, make it known that you just want a friends for benefits kind of deal. If you want a relationship experience but either don't plan to settle or know you're not all that into someone, make it known so you aren't stringing the poor girl along. I usually just avoid commenting or even looking at the threads anymore because they're kind of a piss off and overdone. Like girls don't like nice guys or girls don't like me because of my looks - does it occur to them that maybe the girl rejected you because she sees that you're overly shallow, overly negative, immature perhaps and actually you aren't a genuine nice guy because some of those threads are followed by a rant that kind of paint women in a negative light. Even if it is his looks, some of those guys are complaining have unrealistically high standards. They probably wouldn't find girls "within their league" attractive, yet can't comprehend why a girl who takes cares of her body would choose to go with somebody who does the same? These are just general impressions and only reflect some guys.

If you don't find someone attractive, don't date them. They could be missing out on someone who finds them beautiful - no one deserves to be with someone who is just "settling" for them. And I'm not talking about the instances where you get to know someone's personality more and they suddenly become more attractive - that I understand because that happens to me too. But if you generally know you're settling, then don't waste that person's time. There are others but I don't want to really want to rant on and on about it. But there are some SAS males whose opinions regarding relationships/dating/women I do agree with or admire.


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## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

pineapplebun said:


> Haha perhaps you're right. Or...what are the men in Toronto GTA doing to us?! lol jk jk.
> 
> I was joking about turning into a lesbian, but the impression I get from guys on SAS in general really has put a negative spin on my faith in men. For one, it seems like people are justifying misleading women and using them as a means of personal gain like confidence boost. If you plan on dating someone, without the intent of actually wanting to be with them for long-term, that is leading them on. Unless you state that you don't want anything long-term. If you want a confident boost, start befriending women for one. If you want the sex, make it known that you just want a friends for benefits kind of deal. If you want a relationship experience but either don't plan to settle or know you're not all that into someone, make it known so you aren't stringing the poor girl along. I usually just avoid commenting or even looking at the threads anymore because they're kind of a piss off and overdone. Like girls don't like nice guys or girls don't like me because of my looks - does it occur to them that maybe the girl rejected you because she sees that you're overly shallow, overly negative, immature perhaps and actually you aren't a genuine nice guy because some of those threads are followed by a rant that kind of paint women in a negative light. Even if it is his looks, some of those guys are complaining have unrealistically high standards. They probably wouldn't find girls "within their league" attractive, yet can't comprehend why a girl who takes cares of her body would choose to go with somebody who does the same? These are just general impressions and only reflect some guys.
> 
> If you don't find someone attractive, don't date them. They could be missing out on someone who finds them beautiful - no one deserves to be with someone who is just "settling" for them. And I'm not talking about the instances where you get to know someone's personality more and they suddenly become more attractive - that I understand because that happens to me too. But if you generally know you're settling, then don't waste that person's time. There are others but I don't want to really want to rant on and on about it. But there are some SAS males whose opinions regarding relationships/dating/women I do agree with or admire.


I'm Dissonance and I approve of this message.

Pineapplebun 2013


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## beansly (Sep 5, 2011)

srschirm said:


> Okay then why do you have social anxiety if you're not out for society's approval?


Social anxiety has roots for many reasons, not all of them are to be accepted by the general public. It's more complex.



phoenixwright said:


> Didn't you say that you wanted to date a guy who is tall because you yourself are tall (6 feet)? How is a woman selecting for height any different than a man selecting for physical attractiveness? Except for the fact that the short guy is screwed since there's nothing we can do about that (wearing lifts would just make us look even more insecure and when the clothes come off, the illusion is over. Unless you wear your shoes in the bedroom) whereas the unattractive woman, unless she has a naturally unattractive face and can't be salvaged by makeup, has some sort of chance of improving her appearance. If you dated a guy like me who was 5'6", you'd be embarrassed about how it would look in public being 6 inches taller than your boyfriend and/or you wouldn't find that masculine enough to be physically attractive. How is that any different?


I have expressed my desire to date a man who is tall, but that doesn't mean I exclude everyone under 6 feet out. I have dated men who are shorter than me and I was not embarrassed by it, that's silly and old fashioned. This is 2012, interracial, homosexual, and the odd couple should not cause a raise of the eyebrow, (in an ideal world, of course.)


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

I think what people here are failing to realise is that this is about what YOU find ugly, and that is different for everybody, peoples tastes in what is "attractive" and not varies. So those here who feel disappointed that someone would vote "no" to going out with someone THEY are not attracted to really need to snap out of it. Just because you may think you are unattractive does not mean every guy out there thinks the same. And just because someone would not be happy in a relationship with someone who THEY do not find attractive, does not make them shallow either, those who believe that can go shove it as well


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## Thinkerbell (Jul 8, 2012)

You stay away from the ugmos and we'll steer clear of the shorties. Fair?


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

WintersTale said:


> Why would you date someone you found ugly?


Think of Hugh Heffner. At age 86 he's still surrounded by women in their 20s who will eager fetch his Viagra upon command.

Evidently enough money can prevent vomiting. That or these chicks have great grandpa issues.


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## DeeperUnderstanding (May 19, 2007)

UltraShy said:


> Think of Hugh Heffner. At age 86 he's still surrounded by women in their 20s who will eager fetch his Viagra upon command.
> 
> Evidently enough money can prevent vomiting. That or these chicks have great grandpa issues.


Yes. And I am a 29 year old man, with no sexual issues, no need of Viagra, and a healthy sex drive. I think I am reasonably good looking, yet women tend to either ignore me, or if they show interest, it's fleeting. They aren't serious enough to make the first move on a shy boy.

You know what's worse than being a virgin? Being poor and a virgin. At least, if I had money, I could buy a golddigger.

Sorry if I sound bitter, that's just how a 29 year old virgin rolls, in this day and age where sex is shoved down our throats.


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## jonmorris73 (May 24, 2012)

.


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## NoMoreSAD2013 (Jun 11, 2012)

pastels said:


> ^^ u can date females you dont find attractive its normal. some people just go for personality. ive known people who didnt find their mate attractive at first and have grown to love the other so its perfectly fine unless u think relationships r based on just looks


Sorry most men go on looks lol. Like if she is super unnatractive ,im sorry its not gonna happen no matter how charming she is. maybe a friend?


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## Lonelygirl1986 (Sep 4, 2012)

I am a girl, out of all the people I did anything with, I only found 2 of them attractive from the first date. The last guy I was not attracted to, then I became heavily sexually attracted to him, I would pesture him for sex at stupid times in the morning. If you read my posts it will state he was a 36 year old fat balding virgin, unfortunately he wasn't that sexually attracted to me (most of my other boyfriends were very attracted to me and that's not me being big headed there was evidence) We spent the whole relationship arguing about his attraction to other people. I believe the reason why he didn't lose interest in looking at other people is because he was superficial, he couldn't just have me he had to have the beautiful people too, if he had of appreciated me who knows what would of happened.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

WintersTale said:


> Yes. And I am a 29 year old man, with no sexual issues, no need of Viagra, and a healthy sex drive. I think I am reasonably good looking, yet women tend to either ignore me, or if they show interest, it's fleeting. They aren't serious enough to make the first move on a shy boy.
> 
> You know what's worse than being a virgin? Being poor and a virgin. At least, if I had money, I could buy a golddigger.
> 
> Sorry if I sound bitter, that's just how a 29 year old virgin rolls, in this day and age where sex is shoved down our throats.


I don't know what the market is like over there in Cincinatti but around my parts, $120 can get you a good looking escort for a half-hour. $200 for an hour. You don't need to waste half your wealth on a gold digger.

A lot of people see it as a personal failing if you pay a woman for sex. But I think it depends on each person's individual situation.

Personally I think that I am too introverted to the point that having a quality relationship with a quality woman is a real challenge. Either I wasn't happy with the person I was with and/or they found my introversion to be unbearable.

I think guys like rymo and bwidger85 who are natural extroverts who are hindered by their SA, I think they have a lot of potential. But I am a natural introvert. I just recently did the Myers-Briggs test and scored 89% in introversion (I picked 17 introverted answers, 1 extroverted one from the introversion/extroversion portion of the test).

A lot of people have told me in the past that I don't care about them. That I only seem interested in talking about myself or things that I want to talk about. I think this accurately describes me. If I seem interested in talking about you, it's because you are a female I want to have as my girlfriend or have sex with. Or if you're a female friend I only see platonically or a male friend, I fake it because I understand that it's rude to appear selfish to others. I don't want others to have a negative opinion of me (even if I'm not too keen to listen to them talk about what they want or themselves). I do feel guilt over this. Because i was socially conditioned to frown upon selfishness. But when i try to change who I am, it feels fake.

For me to have a quality relationship with a quality person, I have to force myself to give a **** about people's lives. And I don't think I have that in me. Not to sound like an *******. But I think I have different wiring in my brain that makes it harder for me to have empathy for others. Could be a result of having Asperger's Syndrome or something. Sheldon in Big Bang Theory is an extreme example of that.

This conclusion has led me to think that escorts would be efficient for me. I could skip all the bull**** conversation and get to it. But I also feel uncomfortable with casual sex. lol. I get more pleasure out of masturbation, fantasy and porn than the real thing. So that hasn't been working out too, too well for me (though my best sexual experience with another person was with an escort).


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

NoMoreSAD2013 said:


> Sorry most men go on looks lol. Like if she is super unnatractive ,im sorry its not gonna happen no matter how charming she is. maybe a friend?


i think she just does not have to be repulsive


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## youngloc (Dec 23, 2009)

nope I can't. I need to be pleased when I look at the girl I would love, not be scared.


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## jsgt (Jun 26, 2011)

Zeeshan said:


> or would you be embarrassed in public
> 
> or what would people say that you didnt end up with someone better looking
> 
> just wondering how people think


No, I wouldn't. I know that you can start to feel more attracted towards someone as time goes by, but I wouldn't want to take that chance...because it may not happen and I don't like wasting time.

As for the second part...no one has an opinion that would dictate who I go out with.


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## Tangerine (Feb 16, 2010)

No, I wouldn't date a guy I personally found unattractive, but every time I date or am interested in a guy, people tell me I could do way better, or tease me for being with that person. Every. Time. I get really annoyed at that. Who are these people to judge? I like who I like.


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## NoMoreSAD2013 (Jun 11, 2012)

In my opinion,it doesnt matter how you look to a women, as long as you are well groomed. logically women want to be with an attractive guy,but in the end it doesnt matter.if you can make her laugh,and feel other emotions you can rock it!


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## James_Russell (Aug 26, 2011)

Do you like ham?


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## ravens (Aug 31, 2011)

If I go was to go out with someone I would be attracted to her. I wouldn't care what other people think about her.


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## blc1 (Jan 8, 2009)

AngelClare said:


> Yes, if I loved her.
> 
> If I loved talking to her. If I loved spending time with her. If I loved her cooking. Why wouldn't I?
> 
> ...


A generous rare man you are Angelclare. Blessings upon you.


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## fm5827 (Mar 7, 2011)

No, I'm not going to lie and say I would.


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## gomenne (Oct 3, 2009)

In my opinion guys would never go out with an ugly girl ever.
Even if somehow it happened they would be ashamed of her in public. And would go or the better looking one when they have the opportunity.


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## FranzKafka (Sep 30, 2012)

Actually i am of mixed opinion.

Whereas i would not go out with a girl i find _ugly _(since i reserve this word for extreme cases) i might go out with a girl i do not find utterly attractive.

It is poignant for me cause a couple of weeks ago i kicked another chance to meet a girl, who showed interest in me, but i thought she did not look that good. It was even worse since we obviously had common interests (high literature). I felt bad afterwards, but i attributed to my remaining anxiety issues.

Maybe if i see her again i will ask her out


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

Go out, yes.

Date, no.


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## MaxPower (May 1, 2012)

Zeeshan said:


> Would you go out with a girl you find ugly?


This is an area where I'm broken. I can't have any attraction to a girl until I know her. Once I have a basic idea of her personality, her interests, her views on issues, her thinking, her interest in me and whether I love her or not, then either the spark will happen or not. If it does, attraction, love and my romantic side turns on to full power (which does sometimes come at a surprise for them), otherwise, I'll just continue to see them as a friend. Looks has barely any (if not none at all) input in the equation.

So yes, if I love her.



Zeeshan said:


> or would you be embarrassed in public
> 
> or what would people say that you didnt end up with someone better looking
> 
> just wondering how people think


I don't care one bit what people think about me or my partner.


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## john1990 (Oct 20, 2012)

I always find girls i like/love attractive, even when shes just average but society's standard.

and yes, you can find a girl not really attractive first, but after some time you will find her attractive..... thats often happen to me....after i talk and know some girls personally, suddenly they become more pretty to me.


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## squall78 (Feb 17, 2012)

Sure but probably only as friends. No physical attraction - no escalating beyond friends. I don't see the problem.



pineapplebun said:


> .


Women do this too. Hurray for equality.


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## Dissonant (Sep 22, 2012)

I used to be in the position that I would only go out with women to whom I was not physically attracted  But that's because I had a huge shame complex around feelings of physical attraction, and so the idea of approaching anyone I found physically attractive, and thereby expressing these shameful feelings, was repugnant in the extreme.

I did end up going out with two women I did not find physically attractive, partly because they were attracted to me, partly because I was attracted to them in other ways, and partly because I couldn't date anyone else. And I was totally unashamed of being seen in public, or in private, or anywhere else, with either of them. And I would cheerfully have married either of them if the relationship had gotten that far.

I still have trouble with these feelings, but I'm working on it. Does this make me a bad person? I hope not. The whole point of dating is to find out of you click with someone, and one's perception of someone's physical appearance can change based on other factors, right? So why would I disqualify someone right off the bat based on looks?


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## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)

a pers0n said:


> Do you like ham?


I don't mind ham but I do find the taste of salami more appealing.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

It doesn't have to do with ugliness or beauty, it has to do with attraction. There are guys who are physically beautiful/handsome, but that I have 0 attraction to. Other ones might be considered ugly or unattractive, but I'm attracted to them. Attraction can be a weird thing.


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## john1990 (Oct 20, 2012)

Barette said:


> It doesn't have to do with ugliness or beauty, it has to do with attraction. There are guys who are physically beautiful/handsome, but that I have 0 attraction to. Other ones might be considered ugly or unattractive, but I'm attracted to them. Attraction can be a weird thing.


true, i have this crush on girl and shes not really attractive and pretty to others, but i find her super attractive. Maybe because shes so kind and nice to me, start conversation with me, asking me how was my day, etc. Her smiles are so heartwarming. While for other pretty girls i only see them as pretty but not have attraction to them.


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## Diacetylmorphine (Mar 9, 2011)

I wouldn't date a girl I did not find attractive, isn't fair to either party.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Barette said:


> It doesn't have to do with ugliness or beauty, it has to do with attraction. There are guys who are physically beautiful/handsome, but that I have 0 attraction to. Other ones might be considered ugly or unattractive, but I'm attracted to them. Attraction can be a weird thing.


So you don't care if a guy is lean and muscular vs fat and balding?

(serious question, I'm always fascinated by gender dimorphism)


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

arnie said:


> So you don't care if a guy is lean and muscular vs fat and balding?
> 
> (serious question, I'm always fascinated by gender dimorphism)


If I'm attracted to his personality or mind, then I wouldn't care what the physical form is. I've talked to guys that I didn't think were attractive when I first met them, but then if they were really funny or interesting or we got along, then I start feeling really attracted. I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I'd be more easily attracted if a guy is lean and muscular, but it's definitely not necessary. Honestly I think heavier guys can be really attractive in their own right. I watch Rosanne and find John Goodman to be pretty sexy on it.


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## Brony (Aug 25, 2012)

As long as I think she's pretty. I don't care much about what other people think; besides, most of my friends are the kind of people who look beyond the surface.


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## john1990 (Oct 20, 2012)

Barette said:


> If I'm attracted to his personality or mind, then I wouldn't care what the physical form is. I've talked to guys that I didn't think were attractive when I first met them, but then if they were really funny or interesting or we got along, then I start feeling really attracted. I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I'd be more easily attracted if a guy is lean and muscular, but it's definitely not necessary. Honestly I think heavier guys can be really attractive in their own right. I watch Rosanne and find John Goodman to be pretty sexy on it.


i read some marriage forum, and there are lots of threads from women saying they not sexually attracted to their husband. They love their husband but they are not sexually attracted to them. They fantasize having sex with another guys they are not in love, but they still love their husband.

Just google it, " i love my husband but i'm not sexually attracted to him", you will find many women feeling that. And that's also because many guys gain weight fast after married.

I think many women assumed love and sex always go together, but its not always like that. I found many women sexually attracted with physically good looking guys they are not in love with.

But as a guy, i also have experience when i found girl not really attracted first, but after i talk to her and notice shes really kind and nice to me, i found her prettier and became more attractie. But sometimes i can have attraction to sexy girls i dont even know personally.


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## Barette (Jan 17, 2012)

^Thanks for the answer! I'm glad to see that myth busted.

Oh, and I know that women can become unattracted to husbands over time and that attraction in women isn't 100% emotional/mental, for me it largely is though.



arnie said:


> (serious question, I'm always fascinated by gender dimorphism)


I only just googled this term now, and I also really find the differences interesting too.


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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

Nada said:


> I wouldn't date someone who I didn't find attractive. It would be wrong to do so out of pity.





TenYears said:


> Uhhhmmm....why would I go out with a girl I thought was ugly? I mean, you get with someone, what draws you to someone, is the physical attraction. You don't look across the room at a woman at a party and think, oh, man, she's ugly, I'm all over that! Well...at least I don't.





visualkeirockstar said:


> No. Why would you anyways?





Visionary said:


> I'm going to stop reading some of the comments in this thread and put my own input on how I feel about this.
> 
> I wouldn't date a guy that I found ugly, I wouldn't be happy, and I don't want to led someone on to thinking that they actually have a chance with me. If I was on the "ugly" side, I would feel hurt and devastated. Dating to get ahead or get use to it? why don't you just make friends and flirt with girls. Holy crap people.
> 
> People on SA really scare me.





AussiePea said:


> I'm not going to go out with someone I do not find attractive, what on earth is the point..





atlex said:


> You will be hard pressed to find ugly women these days





pineapplebun said:


> *Lost faith in men, thanks to SAS*
> I'm just going to become a lesbian.





Thinkerbell said:


> You stay away from the ugmos and we'll steer clear of the shorties. Fair?





NoMoreSAD2013 said:


> Sorry most men go on looks lol. Like if she is super unnatractive ,im sorry its not gonna happen no matter how charming she is. maybe a friend?





Zeeshan said:


> i think she just does not have to be repulsive





youngloc said:


> nope I can't. I need to be pleased when I look at the girl I would love, not be scared.





gomenne said:


> In my opinion guys would never go out with an ugly girl ever.
> Even if somehow it happened they would be ashamed of her in public. And would go or the better looking one when they have the opportunity.





squall78 said:


> Sure but probably only as friends. No physical attraction - no escalating beyond friends. I don't see the problem.
> 
> Women do this too. Hurray for equality.





John316C said:


> im a good looking guy and i WOULD (go out with a girl who i think is much much lesser in the looks dept.), - but i wouldnt marry her. she doesn't have to be equally as attractive as me... but it would definitly keep me closer.
> 
> i would go on dates with ugly women for fun - enjoyment for the both of us.
> 
> ...





Disarray said:


> I wouldn't date a girl I did not find attractive, isn't fair to either party.





















Why should/would any human be ashamed to be seen in public with any other human on this planet? If any person thinks or behaves this way, guess what you are....










When you're both dead, will either of you be attracted to each other's skeletons after everything decomposes off of y'all?

Girl dem bones is still fine. Ya! Get it girl! Gah! What happened to your vag? I got bones but we can't bone. Oh dayum, da maggots got ya tits and my wang... F my life bro! Guess we gon have to click on another level, babe. So...Since we can't have no sex no more, tell me bout yourself. Forgot your name babe, start with that.


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

falling down said:


> Why should/would any human be ashamed to be seen in public with any other human on this planet? If any person thinks or behaves this way, guess what you are....
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Seriously dude, before making assumptions, understand what is being said. Attraction comes in many forms whether it be physical or personality. To date someone who is ugly inside and out is something I wouldn't do. The only douche bags I know are those who date blindly with very little or no attraction to the other person because they're either lonely or just want to get something out of it and never really put much effort into it.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

falling down said:


> Why should/would any human be ashamed to be seen in public with any other human on this planet? If any person thinks or behaves this way, guess what you are....
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You really do talk a load of crap. It's nothing to do with feeling ashamed about who you are with, it's about the fact that physical attraction is part of what helps connect two people (in most cases, you might be different and whoopie for you if this is the case).


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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

Nada said:


> Seriously dude, before making assumptions, understand what is being said. Attraction comes in many forms whether it be physical or personality. To date someone who is ugly inside and out is something I wouldn't do. The only douche bags I know are those who date blindly with very little or no attraction to the other person because they're either lonely or just want to get something out of it and never really put much effort into it.





AussiePea said:


> You really do talk a load of crap. It's nothing to do with feeling ashamed about who you are with, it's about the fact that physical attraction is part of what helps connect two people (in most cases, you might be different and whoopie for you if this is the case).


Pile it on boys, throw everything at the wall and let's see what sticks.

Attraction is one thing and I agree it has to be there in some form or another but attraction can come in multiple forms that go beyond what someone looks like. Simple fact is, if you're judging people based on looks before even knowing them, that's called being shallow.

She's pretty, I'm attracted, I want to know her.
Meh, not pretty, not attract, don't really care if I know her or not.
It's douchey.


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## John316C (May 1, 2011)

falling down said:


> Why should/would any human be ashamed to be seen in public with any other human on this planet? If any person thinks or behaves this way, guess what you are....
> 
> 
> 
> ...


your a douchebag too


----------



## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)




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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

John316C said:


> your a douchebag too


lol do explain.


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## Fruitcake (Jan 19, 2012)

Why is it so bad to be embarrassed to be seen with someone else? Aren't a lot of us embarrassed to be seen at all? I don't like going out in public because of people judging me based on my appearance, but I still like and respect myself. I don't see how it's different to be embarrassed because you feel judged based on your partner's appearance.
The guy I like at the moment is hot but I wouldn't want certain people I know to think that we're together because it would confirm stereotypes that they have about me and influence their opinion of me and possibly some of them would tease me over it. I know that that's because they are judgmental and superficial, and their opinions do not influence my opinion of him. But I find it unpleasant to be judged and mistreated so of course I would prefer to hide it. It doesn't mean I respect or like him less or that I am ashamed of him (to clarify, shame is a deeper feeling than embarrassment and is generally used when one feels guilt or agrees with the judgments being made, whereas embarrassment is the discomfort about those judgments even though the judgments are incorrect).


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

I think the thought is how would you feel if someone you dated was embarassed to be seen with you in public. Pretty badly I think, I even feel badly when friends seem to distance themselves from me in certain settings (like around their coworkers etc). Like the are fine with acting close when we're with our clique but suddenly then get tense around other people. :|


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## FranzKafka (Sep 30, 2012)

Main reason is that (for men at least, but i think it is not that different for women either) if you are not finding the other person somatically attractive, you cannot have sex with that person. Simply how the body works.
I suppose we were talking about relationships that feature sex too. If it is just friendship i do not care at all if i am seen with a girl i *personally* do not regard as that attractive to me.

Of course it helps if you find the other person attractive on all levels. Surely i would not want a relationship with someone who does not connect to me at any level apart from the somatic one. But that is another issue.

Generally, for me:

looks>character>ideal looks. That is i would pick a girl that looked less attractive (but still attractive to me) over a more attractive one who had incompatible personality.


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## Fruitcake (Jan 19, 2012)

Oh dear. I tend to just tell people if I'm embarrassed to be seen with them because it doesn't offend me if they do the same. I guess I actually am a douche.


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## John316C (May 1, 2011)

falling down said:


> lol do explain.


if you grow a bigger brain i might consider it.

and your giant picture post is filled with fallacies, i can tell you have an unbalanced point of view. your also emotional and you called several people a douche bag.


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

FranzKafka said:


> Main reason is that (for men at least, but i think it is not that different for women either) if you are not finding the other person somatically attractive, you cannot have sex with that person. Simply how the body works.
> I suppose we were talking about relationships that feature sex too. If it is just friendship i do not care at all if i am seen with a girl i *personally* do not regard as that attractive to me.
> 
> Of course it helps if you find the other person attractive on all levels. Surely i would not want a relationship with someone who does not connect to me at any level apart from the somatic one. But that is another issue.
> ...


I think this is generally true. Being tragically ugly limits your chances of finding a relationship but being extremely at the high end of attractive doesn't give you that much of an edge at finding "true love". People who are averagely attractive and have good personalities probably are successful.


----------



## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

John316C said:


> if you grow a bigger brain i might consider it.
> 
> and your giant picture post is filled with fallacies, i can tell you have an unbalanced point of view. your also emotional and you called several people a douche bag.


I'm pretty sure mine's bigger than yours.



John316C said:


> *im a good looking guy and i WOULD (go out with a girl who i think is much much lesser in the looks dept.), - but i wouldnt marry her. she doesn't have to be equally as attractive as me... but it would definitly keep me closer. *


Not douchey at all to think or even say. :no



John316C said:


> *i would go on dates with ugly women for fun - enjoyment for the both of us.*


Nope, not douchey. :no



John316C said:


> *i would eventually seperate myself from any woman who refuses to help herself, but i would stay her friend and willfully help here to grow i may even show romantic affection, but there wouldnt be a relationship until she grows up. (ugly personality).*


Nope, not douchey. :no



John316C said:


> *physically she would have to be closer to my own physical attractiveness. i refuse to go out with any less. and besides im a good person - i dont get myself into relationships where i will feel driven to find someone more suitable. something i CANT help. *


Still not douchey? :no



John316C said:


> *honestly my criteria is absolutely not all looks, however i need to know if the girl is physically attractive when i look at her face waking up. it tells me her genes are strong enough to match mine and bear my children. if she ages and turns ugly im ok with that. because i know i chose a girl who has strong genes.*


Douchey or not? :sus



John316C said:


> *if shes all looks and no smarts (witch etc inside) marrying her and having children would be a very bad decision. who she is must be not necessarily healthy, but lifewards.*


So, conclusion, ****ing her is just fine. Are you trolling?


----------



## John316C (May 1, 2011)

falling down said:


> I'm pretty sure mine's bigger than yours.
> 
> Not douchey at all to think or even say. :no
> 
> ...


you have no idea how the real world works. no nothing ive written is "douchy" because thats real life.

you need a major reality check


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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

John316C said:


> you have no idea how the real world works. no nothing ive written is "douchy" because thats real life.


Real world, what ****ing real world do you live in bro?

Apparently any and all women are just here for you to use however you want.

"If not attract, I will do this this and that but not marry"
"If not attract, will use until I've had enough then she has to shape up or ship out"
"Will only marry if perfect"

Do you even read the stuff you type to yourself before you post it?

dafuq?

Real world my ***.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

falling down said:


> I'm pretty sure mine's bigger than yours.
> 
> Not douchey at all to think or even say. :no
> 
> ...


It's not so much douchey as just plain stupid. The comments. Not the user. :roll
Since when did attractiveness equate good genes, btw?

Having sex with someone you don't plan to have a relationship with because you don't find them "that" attractive is fine (in my book) as long as both people are on the same page (i.e. both know the relationship won't go further than sex).


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## John316C (May 1, 2011)

AllToAll said:


> It's not so much douchey as just plain stupid. The comments. Not the user. :roll
> Since when did attractiveness equate good genes, btw?
> 
> Having sex with someone you don't plan to have a relationship with because you don't find them "that" attractive is fine (in my book) as long as both people are on the same page (i.e. both know the relationship won't go further than sex).


who are you talking about


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

John316C said:


> who are you talking about


Take a wild guess.


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## John316C (May 1, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> Take a wild guess.


blow me


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

John316C said:


> blow me


My god, are you that blind? :teeth

She wasn't referring to you. Why is everyone so uptight on this website all of the sudden.


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## John316C (May 1, 2011)

Canucklehead said:


> My god, are you that blind? :teeth
> 
> She wasn't referring to you.


i thought you were making a smart *** remark. i apolagize.


----------



## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

AllToAll said:


> Since when did attractiveness equate good genes, btw?


Since the beginning of time.


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

AllToAll said:


> Since when did attractiveness equate good genes, btw?


It depends on which implication you're using. With universal attractiveness, beauty equates to cues to youth (e.g. round eyes, full lips, smooth skin) as well as health (no deformities, clear eyes, unblemished skin, intact teeth, average faces).

How attractive you find a face is critically dependent on how much you like the person. The more you like somebody, the better they look to you.

What are we arguing about again?


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## Andres124 (Oct 23, 2012)

If I like the girl, no matter how she looks like I will still go out with her in public. The personality of the girl is what's going to get me. If she's ugly and has a good heart, nice etc. Then it doesn't matter to me if she's ugly.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

srschirm said:


> Since the beginning of time.


When referring to good genes, it's traits that provide survival skills and not a modeling job.



ManOfFewWords said:


> It depends on which implication you're using. With universal attractiveness, beauty equates to cues to youth (e.g. round eyes, full lips, smooth skin) as well as health (no deformities, clear eyes, unblemished skin, intact teeth, average faces).
> 
> How attractive you find a face is critically dependent on how much you like the person. The more you like somebody, the better they look to you.
> 
> What are we arguing about again?


Not necessarily so. Large breasts denote more estrogen and better breast feeding, but women with small breasts could have/do both of these.


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## falling down (Oct 17, 2011)

John316C said:


> who are you talking about


She be talkin bout you bro.

Oh wait lol, not you, your stupid comments.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

I have dated 2 girls before that I wasn't all that attracted to.
One I ended up kinda liking, but she didn't like me. She said I was too quiet :roll


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## John316C (May 1, 2011)

falling down said:


> She be talkin bout you bro.
> 
> Oh wait lol, not you, your stupid comments.


maybe i should contact a moderator and ban ur dumb ***.


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## Josefz27 (Oct 26, 2012)

Nope. I would go out with a girl I feel somewhat attracted to. Girls I feel attracted to, I don't find ugly.


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## SoWrongItsRight (May 9, 2012)

Why would anyone go out with someone they aren't attracted to? I don't get it


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## Jimmi Barrett (Oct 13, 2012)

ThatOneQuietGuy said:


> I dated a girl that was slightly overweight once ( which isn't a big deal to me ) and I had people tell me that I could have done better.


I find that very interesting because I have S.A(BREAKING NEWS) I'm shy and hate public places but people around me seem to have high expectations for me in dating girls. I'm told I'm good looking but my brain doesn't process that lol so in a way it kinda gives me back a lil confidence (just a lil' bit, a lil' bit)


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

AllToAll said:


> When referring to good genes, it's traits that provide survival skills and not a modeling job.
> 
> Not necessarily so. Large breasts denote more estrogen and better breast feeding, but women with small breasts could have/do both of these.


I'm talking about facial attractiveness. There is data that supports the relationship between attractiveness (facial symmetry) and good genes (apparent health).

http://alittlelab.stir.ac.uk/pubs/Jones_01_perception_symandhealth_EHB.pdf


> The findings of both studies are consistent with a ''good genes'' explanation of the attractiveness-symmetry relationship and problematic for the claim that symmetry is attractive as a by-product of the ease with which the visual recognition system processes symmetric stimuli.


http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1690211/pdf/10535106.pdf


> Together, these findings suggest that symmetry is associated with the genetic component of phenotypic condition and that mate preferences for individuals who possess good phenotypic condition result in greater mating success.
> ...
> Waynforth (1998) found that, in a natural fertility population of Mayans in Belize, symmetrical men tended to have more offspring and fewer serious diseases. Conversely, in a British sample, Manning et al. (1998) found that men with higher digit asymmetry had sperm parameters associated with lower fertility. These results suggest that, as in a variety of other species, human females respond to and prefer males who exhibit cues of good phenotypic condition and that these cues may be related to fertility.


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