# SAS Shame-Attacking Challenge!



## ardrum

Here it is, folks! Here's your chance to post your SAS Shame Attacking Challenge (SASSAC) results. I thought that a specific format would help to differentiate regular comments from comments of people posting their challenges/results. If someone wants to make a list of items, it might be fun to "check them off" for those who want to participate in that kind of challenge.

Don't feel bad if your challenges seem lame. Difficulty is relative to each person's anxiety in different contexts, and people might benefit from posting challenge results of varying difficulties. Make your challenges a behavior that will very likely lead to rejection of any kind (whistling loudly near people, yawning annoyingly, etc).

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Format example:

*CHALLENGE:* Attempt to shake hands with three strangers on the street.

*PREDICTION:* People will look at me funny and back away while calling me "creep" and "weirdo."

*RESULTS:* I started this challenge by first going to...

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Have FUN with this! The Challenge starts NOW!!!!!!!!!! :lol


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

*re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*

------------------

*CHALLENGE*: Yawn or sing loudly as I pass a person on the street.

*PREDICTION*: People will look at me funny, or say "do you mind?" loudly. Or maybe yawn back in an irritated way. I will be scared or embarrassed.

*RESULTS:* I started this challenge by walking to my drum rehearsal. I apssed two guys on the way and yawned loudly - YEERRUM!! They didnt bat an eyelid but I started giggling. On the way back I went out of my way to pass an older guy and do the same. He barely responded!

As I was going back into my flat, a guy walked past me, so I started singing Captain Jack by Billy Joel. He turned and looked at me but I didnt care cos I was doing it deliberately. I went in the flat and started laughing my head off.

I now feel just a little bit braver than I did before 

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PS Hey ardrum, when I write up my behavioural experiments, I am meant to write what I think will happen BEFORE I do it so I can compare reality with the SA driven, fearful prediction that was stopping me do it in the first place. I think this would be good to add to the format!

Ross


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## ardrum

*Re: re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*



yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> ------------------
> 
> *CHALLENGE*: Yawn or sing loudly as I pass a person on the street.
> 
> *PREDICTION*: People will look at me funny, or say "do you mind?" loudly. Or maybe yawn back in an irritated way. I will be scared or embarrassed.
> 
> *RESULTS:* I started this challenge by walking to my drum rehearsal. I apssed two guys on the way and yawned loudly - YEERRUM!! They didnt bat an eyelid but I started giggling. On the way back I went out of my way to pass an older guy and do the same. He barely responded!
> 
> As I was going back into my flat, a guy walked past me, so I started singing Captain Jack by Billy Joel. He turned and looked at me but I didnt care cos I was doing it deliberately. I went in the flat and started laughing my head off.
> 
> I now feel just a little bit braver than I did before
> 
> ------------------
> 
> PS Hey ardrum, when I write up my behavioural experiments, I am meant to write what I think will happen BEFORE I do it so I can compare reality with the SA driven, fearful prediction that was stopping me do it in the first place. I think this would be good to add to the format!
> 
> Ross


I like the change in format. I've adjusted the OP.

Great results!! Haha, I can't wait to get out of work (3:45pm here) to try something myself. I might copy yours, or try something different.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

*re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*

:boogie

Ross


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## CarlM

*re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*

It would be fun to have a SA buddy to go out with and push eachother into various Shame attack exercises. Would probably be scary and lots of fun!


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## ardrum

*Re: re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*



CarlM said:


> It would be fun to have a SA buddy to go out with and push eachother into various Shame attack exercises. Would probably be scary and lots of fun!


Yeah, that would be fun! I don't think it would be as difficult, and you could probably end up doing even more difficult challenges as a result.

EDIT: Still thinking about what my challenge will be...


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

*re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*

this thread is already doing that for me. And you two are my SA buddies on this one so far!

Ross


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## ardrum

*Re: re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*



yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> this thread is already doing that for me. And you two are my SA buddies on this one so far!
> 
> Ross


Actually, good point. I'm thinking about a whistling challenge, or the loud yawning challenge. Something to call mildly negative attention to myself (hopefully?? LOL).


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

*re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*

I am really good at making fart noises with my mouth. They sound VERY real. I may try walking past people and pretending to let one go.

I am hoping at least for a 'tut'.

Ross


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## ardrum

*Re: re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*



yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> I am really good at making fart noises with my mouth. They sound VERY real. I may try walking past people and pretending to let one go.
> 
> I am hoping at least for a 'tut'.
> 
> Ross


Hahah, wow, that would be an extremely challenging challenge for me. Go for it if you can!

EDIT: Heading out for my challenge while my oven heats up......


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## ardrum

*re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*

*CHALLENGE*: Yawn loudly at people.

*PREDICTION*: People will look suspicious/distrusting. People will look away or back away. People might laugh, trying to keep it to themselves.

*RESULTS*: I headed out of my apartment to walk the sidewalks. There are usually a lot of people out, so I figured I'd have plenty of targets.

The first person I saw was a woman riding on a bike. As she passed, I tried a loud yawn, but it was rather weak. In addition, my head almost involuntarily turned to the side. Bad Adam!! Haha!

I knew I could do better, so I headed to the other side of the street, where I saw a guy walking. I gave a louder yawn as I walked past him and listened for him to laugh as he passed me... he didn't.

This is where I thought I definitely must not be yawning loudly enough. I need to get rejected here!!

I walked along, trying to find another victim. I wasn't having luck finding anyone, so I crossed the street. Of course, then I saw a bunch of people on the other side of the street.

I stayed on my side until I saw a woman running (middle-aged, somewhat heavy-set). I gave the loudest yawn yet, and her only reaction was to look at me, smile, and say hi. LOL, what?!

I thought I'd go for ONE last try, so I saw another woman walking her dog. I passed, giving a yawn, but she had no reaction as she was just looking down as she passed me. Not even a chuckle.

I'm still thinking my yawns could have been a lot more annoying, but this was a more difficult challenge than I had expected. I've discovered this fear of rejection deal is rather strong, and I plan to think of a new challenge that I'll be able to perform more fully.

NOTE: I found myself having a good time between the bouts of nervousness. I found it hilarious that my dinner was heating up while I was out yawning at people.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

*re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*

I thought that about the yawns, maybe they werent loud enough. Thats why i switched to singing! A dude did look at me, but it was just one of those "looking out of reflex" type things.

Today I will try the giving the wrong change in a shop thing. I might only do it once though as the shop I'm intending to go to I go to a lot 

When I think about it, I get approached by tramps, alcoholics, beggars, nutters etc all the time. I avoid them but I've never seen anyone go loopy at them or incite a group insult session. People just sort of go 'oh god get me away from him' but thats it. Even if we were totally obnoxious, thats the most that would happen, people would get a bit grumpy and try to get away.

Still scary though :afr

Ross "spare some change please" Yeah


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

*re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*

Cool article on shame attacking, social anxiety and the social roots of shame!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/weekend/story/0,,2097508,00.html

Ross


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## ardrum

Good article. It's interesting to see how other people have tried these shame-attacking exercises.

I thought of some potentially good exercises. They would all be very difficult for me carry out.

1) Block an entrance. Look preoccupied (cell phone or something), and don't move until someone tells you to move.
2) Walk down the middle of a sidewalk, forcing other people to walk around you.
3) Make yourself look more weird/bad than usual (via clothing, hair, etc.), and go into a crowded area for several minutes (or until someone reacts negatively).


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## katelyn

Okay I have thought of an exercise I will do. When I go into town I will put my feet up on the opposite seat on the train. Since this will take up a seat when it's quite busy and also potentially dirty the seat, it should definitely cause some disapproval. I normally try to squash myself in the corner out of everyone's way. I also will feel some guilt about being selfish though.

I wanted to do the yawn thing, but no matter how I try, I cannot do a yawn while also making a noise. Instead it comes out as a kind of screech. Can females do this?! I'm perfectly comfortable with doing quiet yawns so that would be no good.


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## ardrum

katelyn said:


> Okay I have thought of an exercise I will do. When I go into town I will put my feet up on the opposite seat on the train. Since this will take up a seat when it's quite busy and also potentially dirty the seat, it should definitely cause some disapproval. I normally try to squash myself in the corner out of everyone's way. I also will feel some guilt about being selfish though.
> 
> I wanted to do the yawn thing, but no matter how I try, I cannot do a yawn while also making a noise. Instead it comes out as a kind of screech. Can females do this?! I'm perfectly comfortable with doing quiet yawns so that would be no good.


I'm thinking that yawns aren't going to get a disapproval response anyway. I was actually greeted in a friendly way once! Not what I was going for. It's hard for me to be mildly annoying! I've got to think of a good one though, since I want to do an exercise every day.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

*re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*

I think the important thing is whether you think it will get disapproval. Remember, its testing how accurate that SA bandwidth thingy is for us. If we are scared about yawning loudly, then it feels like a mini-breakthrough to test it. Its brave (in a little way!) and shows us we can make an impression - at least sonically - on our environment and not be punished. For guys and gals who wouldnt normally uetter a peep, then this is a little breakthrough!! When we see nothing happens, well thats one type of behavioural experiment - just not one that brought disapproval! You cannot fail the SASSAC challenge except by not doing it :b I like that idea!

I think we need to start somewhere, to get the fire started as it were. I might try singing in a shop, that would annoy the hell out of me. Feet up on a bus seat ... haha I think thats too hard for me at the moment!

Ross

This thread is making me nervous-excited


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## ardrum

I saw this interesting post in another forum:



Steve Mensing said:


> Hi John:
> 
> John asks: "What are you thoughts on REBT's shame-attacking exercise? Is that a form of desensitization? If so, any thoughts on its effectiveness? Any tips?"
> 
> John REBT's (Albert Ellis's Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) "shame attacking exercise" is a direct exposure process targeting shameful activities. It is a form of exposure-desensitization. I hold "shame attacking" exercises in high regard and have taught their use to social anxiety groups.
> 
> Typical exercises are walking a shoebox, labeled "dog", on a string through a public park or loudly calling out all the stops on a bus or a train. (I modeled the behavior first and had great fun calling out stops first--Only once did some elderly woman tell me to sit down and shutup--I asked her what stop she was getting off so I could announce her departure and sing: "Happy Trails to You".
> She said I was a flake and I agreed with her.
> 
> What happens is shame attacking is a person finds out they can stand and survive the socalled shame and it wasn't a big a deal as they thought. Very often persons using this exercise enjoy a good laugh at what they previously believed would be a public disaster.
> It's excellent for the shame and embarassment part of social phobia, overcoming our "hangups", and even public performance anxiety. Folks experience the socalled worst and find out they can survive and stand it--it's not the end of the world.
> 
> "Any tips?"
> 
> *Don't perform "shame attacking" exercises at work.
> 
> *If someone is extremely anxious about embarrassment and shame they might want to build up at a gradient.
> Do lesser shameful exercises at first until they are desensitized and move to the next shame provoking activity.
> 
> *If someone gets very overwhelmed initially or feels some panic coming on they can quickly perform the Shrunken Head to ratchet the overwhelm down. Then continue acting silly or strange until your shame is desensitized.
> 
> *Calling out stops on a public bus or train is a nice start.
> Don't wear a backpack on New York or London public transportation or you might get detained by the transit police.
> 
> Take care, Steve


This post has really inspired me...

I am suddenly reminded of an interview I heard with Larry David (my comedic hero). He talked about how when they are filming a scene where someone is yelling at him and/or cursing, he has the hardest time not laughing. He explained how in real life, people very rarely have such extreme responses when they get upset at you, so actually getting to act in scenes where people are psychotically yelling at him and calling him all kinds of vulgar names is irresistably funny. I think I too often think I'll end up getting cursed at or yelled at, when most of the time it doesn't happen (only rarely do I get cursed at, usually while running). Larry's explanation shows that while getting verbally assaulted is rare, it doesn't have to break you (you don't have to echo their comments in your self-analysis).

I tend to think that most guys will yell or physically attack me if I even slightly bother them (I'm a small guy, which makes me think it's more likely). I think the same with women, minus the physical attacks (although possible, it's less probable).

The shoebox on a rope with "DOG" on it sounds like a hilarious, and very difficult, stunt. I might actually be able to almost do it if I had a bunch of people with me (maybe filming from a distance).

In fact, I almost did a stunt a couple years ago with my roommate. We lived in an apartment up a big hill, with a balcony looking over the hill. I was going to walk up the hill and make a jerking motion with my leg, such that my leg nearly touches my ear. I'd do this RIGHT before passing someone, making them hopefully think I've got some kind of issue/problem. We never went through with it, but only because she never really got her video camera working (which would be filming from the balcony).

I used to do this in the movie theater I worked at though, and one time this attractive girl had NO negative reaction... in fact, she ended up asking me for the time. I was stunned! I was also a lot more socially confident at the movie theater, so it wasn't something I'd ever do outside of that place (with people supporting my stunt).

I think I'm going to go with either of these exercises/challenges:

- Wear running clothes that evoke the most negative comments from people (tight-fitting basically), and run wherever I see the most people. Run through big crowds, especially groups of teenagers. Teenagers will likely provide my best chance at tasting some disapproval.
- Near others, clumsily drop several books two times in a row in a quiet library (I haven't been to the library in my new city yet).

PS --- Ross, have you read "How to Control Your Anxiety Before It Controls You" by Albert Ellis? It came out in 1998, and I'm a little intrigued by it. There is a section on shame-attacking exercises, as well as a sense of humor to combat anxiety. I might buy this book or look for it in the library (hey, two birds with one stone if I perform the shame-attacking challenge there).


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

*re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*

------------------

CHALLENGE: Give the wrong change when buying something at a shop

PREDICTION: The person will think I am trying to rip them off, or talk to me like a simpleton.

RESULTS: I went into a petrol (gas) station and bought something. It was exactly £1.50. I looked at my change and I had a pound coin, a fifty pence coin and a twenty pence coin. She could also see I had that. Dilemma - how obvious is this going to be? Sod it I thought - and gave her the £1.20. There was a pause that seemed to last forever. I smiled at her. She said "£1.50". So I said "oh dear yes. There you go" andf gave the right money. She actually made an excuse FOR ME and said "oh dear happens to us more than it should!". I said "Oh you know me" and she looked embarrassed, saying "Oh no I meant me!!". So I nearly did her out of 30p and she ends up apologising. Hehe I like REBT.

Later I tried to get in someones way entering the supermarket but the door to was too wide. I was close to shouting out "OH HEY £4 FOR A SIRLOIN STEAK. THATS REALLY GOOD GOOD ISNT IT" but then felt too self conscious. Something to build to!

I can feel a strange sense of confidence start to creep over me 

Ross
------------------

Ross


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

*re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*

That article is cool, and shows the gold standard of shame attacking!! I am nowhere near that yet. I havent read that book. Personally, I do not think that REBT in general is a better alternative to CBT, especially not the Wells and Clark model of CBT - though Albert Ellis has a couple of awesome ideas that pre-dated, and lead to - CBT.

Keep digging those articles up ardrum!!

Ross


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## ardrum

*Re: re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*



yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> ------------------
> 
> CHALLENGE: Give the wrong change when buying something at a shop
> 
> PREDICTION: The person will think I am trying to rip them off, or talk to me like a simpleton.
> 
> RESULTS: I went into a petrol (gas) station and bought something. It was exactly £1.50. I looked at my change and I had a pound coin, a fifty pence coin and a twenty pence coin. She could also see I had that. Dilemma - how obvious is this going to be? Sod it I thought - and gave her the £1.20. There was a pause that seemed to last forever. I smiled at her. She said "£1.50". So I said "oh dear yes. There you go" andf gave the right money. She actually made an excuse FOR ME and said "oh dear happens to us more than it should!". I said "Oh you know me" and she looked embarrassed, saying "Oh no I meant me!!". So I nearly did her out of 30p and she ends up apologising. Hehe I like REBT.
> 
> Later I tried to get in someones way entering the supermarket but the door to was too wide. I was close to shouting out "OH HEY £4 FOR A SIRLOIN STEAK. THATS REALLY GOOD GOOD ISNT IT" but then felt too self conscious. Something to build to!
> 
> I can feel a strange sense of confidence start to creep over me
> 
> Ross
> ------------------
> 
> Ross


Awesome! I'm going to get my hair cut tonight, and I'll probably just walk there so that I can do some sort of exercise on the way. I still haven't decided what to do yet though. The difficulty I'm facing is very revealing to me though, so I'm determined to do SOMETHING on the way there tonight.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

*re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*

I'm going to do the dog one.

Ross


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## ardrum

*Re: re: SAS Shame Attacking Challenge!*



yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> I'm going to do the dog one.
> 
> Ross


WOW! Bold statement. Go! Go! Go! Go! :lol :lol :lol


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

katelyn said:


> Okay I have thought of an exercise I will do. When I go into town I will put my feet up on the opposite seat on the train. Since this will take up a seat when it's quite busy and also potentially dirty the seat, it should definitely cause some disapproval. I normally try to squash myself in the corner out of everyone's way. I also will feel some guilt about being selfish though.
> 
> I wanted to do the yawn thing, but no matter how I try, I cannot do a yawn while also making a noise. Instead it comes out as a kind of screech. Can females do this?! I'm perfectly comfortable with doing quiet yawns so that would be no good.


Go Katelyn!! I think the putting feet up would be hard for me. Of course girls can yawn - if you are trying to be shameful! The less ladylike the better! You have just written the prediction bit above - now its time to get out there and DOO-OO-OO IT! i think you might end up being the SASSA Challenge's most outrageous participant!

Whoo :hs

Ross


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## ardrum

When I enter the building for my haircut tonight, I'm going to stop and block the front door if someone is behind me. I'll try to stand there until they tell me to get out of the way.


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## ardrum

Argh... I didn't have the opportunity for my door-blocking routine since nobody else was near this place. I should have thought of an exercise that I could do no matter what.

I did go to the library, but I didn't drop the books. I was a bit overly optimistic about my carrying out this stunt. Again, it's not all bad though since I'm still testing the waters of how comfortable I currently am with drawing negative attention to myself. Turns out, I am repulsed by it... lol!

On a difficulty scale of 1-10, I seem to be able to think of exercises that are either 1's or 8-10. I need to find something that is around a 2 or 2 1/2. Dropping the books feels 6ish, and blocking an entrance seems like a 7. Not holding doors for people is a 1 for me. I could have done that today actually, but I was so bored by that one that I didn't bother, haha. People won't likely openly disapprove with that one anyway. 

BRAINSTORMING for exercises now............................


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## ardrum

By the way, YES I'm repeatedly posting. What are you going to do, disapprove?!?!?!?!?? TS!!!! 

Ideas, on a 1-10 difficulty scale, judged outside of the moment:

Run with shortest shorts I have - I've definitely received negative attention when I do this one, and I haven't done it yet in Cleveland. I think I can carry this out despite it being around a 3/10 in difficulty. I'm guessing many people with SA wouldn't run in these shorts, LOL!

Whistle a tune down the street as I pass people - Difficulty could be affected by the song, but I strangely find this to be more difficult than the short shorts!! 4/10. By the way, I think I don't find the short shorts as intimidating since I've done it many times DESPITE the reactions. It PROVES that I already have unintentionally desensitized myself to much of the criticism I receive there (it's still a bit anxiety-provoking though).

ARGH!!! I can't think of other "doable" challenges for me. That leaves me with the super short shorts stunt. I wish I had a list of 50 that I could browse through. I guess I'm not feeling too creative right now... plus, I don't often think about how to get NEGATIVE attention, lol!


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## ardrum

Tonight.......... short shorts are coming out!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait, lol.


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## katelyn

Well, today I managed two exercises...

CHALLENGE 1: Put feet up on opposite seat when travelling on train.

PREDICTION 1: People will give me evil looks, and maybe I will get told to put my feet down. I will then do so without arguing, proving my unassertiveness and everyone will despise me.

RESULTS 1: No one gave me any disapproval on this one, despite the fact that directly above me was a sign saying "no feet on seats". I guess it's not such a terrible thing after all. Maybe I must try it more.


CHALLENGE 2: Go into a shop just as it's closing and spend a long time looking around while all the assistants wait.

PREDICTION 2: Either they won't let me in and they'll shout at me and I won't be able to say anything back which will show how pathetic I am, or when I'm in there they will refuse to serve me and think I am weird. (Don't ask me why they would think that but it seems to be my belief).

RESULTS 2: I walked into a card shop just as they were lowering the metal cover thing to close. They let me pass. I spent several minutes choosing a card. The assistants were standing at the front waiting for me and at one point one of them came up to me and stood next to me but said nothing. Finally, taking my time I slowly chose a card and went to pay for it. They were obviously rushing and had to raise the metal cover again to let me out, but I did not feel weird and I didn't feel as bad as I thought about inconveniencing someone.

So, I still have a long way to go but I think if I take small steps like these, there is hope.


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## ardrum

W...o...w. You're my hero, katelyn. Great attempts!!

I was enthralled with CBT literature yesterday, so I didn't run. Tonight I plan to run in my shortest shorts. I had better get some disapproval. 

What I find so funny is that it's actually somewhat difficult to get disapproval! If I make myself do something I deem risky, I surely expect the disapproval to follow, but it hasn't yet. The shorts will work though. I'm quite confident! I'll post my results in about 5-6 hours.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

What did I tell ya Ardrum? Katelyn is a shame attacking GENIUS!!

I'm almost jealous!

Ross

PS My excuse for not doing shame attacking recently: I've been doing my time-scheduling, but more importantly my anti-avoidance stuff and its taken a lot of energy. My background anxiety has been a lot higher because of confronting a lot of fear, but then its droped once I get there. I made myself go to martial arts despite feeling very tired and groggy (you remember ardrum what I said about tiredness preceding my avoidance? I worked through it and had an AWESOME time!) and tonight I let an old friend back into my life that I;d been through a rough patch with. I felt sick before I got there, but it was actually good fun! I also have three things lined up for this weekend after sending out exploratory eamils.. avoidance work is cool, and I learned that people dont hate me! However I am now very tired out, but happy 

Whooh *dancing banana and little dude doing a boogie*


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## ardrum

*Re: re: SAS Shame-Attacking Challenge!*



yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> What did I tell ya Ardrum? Katelyn is a shame attacking GENIUS!!
> 
> I'm almost jealous!
> 
> Ross
> 
> PS My excuse for not doing shame attacking recently: I've been doing my time-scheduling, but more importantly my anti-avoidance stuff and its taken a lot of energy. My background anxiety has been a lot higher because of confronting a lot of fear, but then its droped once I get there. I made myself go to martial arts despite feeling very tired and groggy (you remember ardrum what I said about tiredness preceding my avoidance? I worked through it and had an AWESOME time!) and tonight I let an old friend back into my life that I;d been through a rough patch with. I felt sick before I got there, but it was actually good fun! I also have three things lined up for this weekend after sending out exploratory eamils.. avoidance work is cool, and I learned that people dont hate me! However I am now very tired out, but happy
> 
> Whooh *dancing banana and little dude doing a boogie*


LOL awesome.

Well, I'm going to be vigorously back into this Shame-Attacking Challenge tonight. Old Man Weather is on my side too!

It is pouring rain, and running through puddles in my short shorts will surely get negative reactions and laughter. The only potential problem is if people decide to stay indoors. We'll see.

Later........

EDIT: I'm all dressed up! I've been repeatedly reminding myself that I'm out SEEKING disapproval. I can get rather bold on a run, so I might even come up with further experiments along the way. Furthermore, after (hopefully) causing some disapproval, I will remind myself IN THE MOMENT of disapproval that I have purposely sought after this disapproval to show myself how I don't have to be bothered by it. In addition, I will learn that such disapproval is ridiculously harmless to me. Happy running!!!


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## ardrum

*CHALLENGE:* Wear the shortest shorts I own (could fit in someone's pocket), Garmin forerunner on arm, and skin tight, liquid wicking running top. Run amongst as many people as possible, while dropping safety behaviors of looking away from people or taking paths that put a lot of space between me and someone else in the area.

*PREDICTION:* People will laugh at me or barely be able to contain their laughter. Lots of smirking and yelling from vehicles (things like "look at that loser!!! hahaha!!!").

*RESULTS:* I was very excited to finally get some disapproval so that I could start familiarizing myself with it. I walked out of my apartment with butterflies, but I was also very excited. I kept repeating how I'm specifically LOOKING for negative reactions of people laughing at me and making fun of me.

I started running down a sidewalk, and scoped out the area. I decided a good place to start would be at the nearby park. I saw a lot of people there, and I had heard negative comments made of me before in this area.

I decided to stretch out a bit, and I chose specifically to go at a bench near a couple. I looked over at them periodically, but they weren't watching me at any point.

After stretching, I started running in the park. There were a lot of people on the running/biking path, and I made sure to try to keep eye contact with people as I approached them. Many times, they weren't seeking eye contact or they would break eye contact before I would. I was surprised that some people maintained eye contact with me for over a couple seconds (strange, lol).

Still no unmistakable ridicule though.

I decided that people are less likely to ridicule me when they are on foot, near me. The insults REALLY come from cars that drive by (since they can get out of the scene quickly). I decided to leave the park (I had literally run past EVERYONE there, lol.

I ran down a sidewalk along a road. I passed people on the sidewalk as well as hundreds of cars. No negative reactions. I eventually turned around and headed back to the park. I finished my run in the park and began to walk to the drinking fountain. Unfortunately, there weren't many people around the drinking fountain area.

I thought I'd surely get negative comments as I walked back to my apartment (after my 4 mile run, yay). I made it to a crosswalk, and a girl was waiting to cross on the other side. I made eye contact with her as we crossed each other, but she didn't laugh at me (dammit).

Overall, the attempt was a bust. The closest I came to getting a negative response was some loud laughing I heard from a yard. This most certainly doesn't count though since I couldn't even see where it was coming from (I looked). I doubt they could have seen me if I couldn't even see them. No, it has to be UNMISTAKABLY directed at me for it to count.

Blah... Maybe if I repeat this one over and over, I'll get some negative feedback (it's happened before), but I'd rather move on to some other challenges since this one isn't enormously difficult.

-----

It's odd that none of us have yet been able to evoke some unmistakable disapproval yet. Perhaps our challenges are still somewhat elementary OVERALL, but we're going to build them up for sure.

I'm plotting away at another challenge now.... something creative that will definitely make me stand out without being too terrifying for me to fulfill it... I've got to "man up" though and start getting more bold.


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## Halcyon

*Re: re: SAS Shame-Attacking Challenge!*



ardrum said:


> *CHALLENGE:* Wear the shortest shorts I own (could fit in someone's pocket), Garmin forerunner on arm, and skin tight, liquid wicking running top. Run amongst as many people as possible, while dropping safety behaviors of looking away from people or taking paths that put a lot of space between me and someone else in the area.
> 
> *PREDICTION:* People will laugh at me or barely be able to contain their laughter. Lots of smirking and yelling from vehicles (things like "look at that loser!!! hahaha!!!").
> 
> *RESULTS:* I was very excited to finally get some disapproval so that I could start familiarizing myself with it. I walked out of my apartment with butterflies, but I was also very excited. I kept repeating how I'm specifically LOOKING for negative reactions of people laughing at me and making fun of me.
> 
> I started running down a sidewalk, and scoped out the area. I decided a good place to start would be at the nearby park. I saw a lot of people there, and I had heard negative comments made of me before in this area.
> 
> I decided to stretch out a bit, and I chose specifically to go at a bench near a couple. I looked over at them periodically, but they weren't watching me at any point.
> 
> After stretching, I started running in the park. There were a lot of people on the running/biking path, and I made sure to try to keep eye contact with people as I approached them. Many times, they weren't seeking eye contact or they would break eye contact before I would. I was surprised that some people maintained eye contact with me for over a couple seconds (strange, lol).
> 
> Still no unmistakable ridicule though.
> 
> I decided that people are less likely to ridicule me when they are on foot, near me. The insults REALLY come from cars that drive by (since they can get out of the scene quickly). I decided to leave the park (I had literally run past EVERYONE there, lol.
> 
> I ran down a sidewalk along a road. I passed people on the sidewalk as well as hundreds of cars. No negative reactions. I eventually turned around and headed back to the park. I finished my run in the park and began to walk to the drinking fountain. Unfortunately, there weren't many people around the drinking fountain area.
> 
> I thought I'd surely get negative comments as I walked back to my apartment (after my 4 mile run, yay). I made it to a crosswalk, and a girl was waiting to cross on the other side. I made eye contact with her as we crossed each other, but she didn't laugh at me (dammit).
> 
> Overall, the attempt was a bust. The closest I came to getting a negative response was some loud laughing I heard from a yard. This most certainly doesn't count though since I couldn't even see where it was coming from (I looked). I doubt they could have seen me if I couldn't even see them. No, it has to be UNMISTAKABLY directed at me for it to count.
> 
> Blah... Maybe if I repeat this one over and over, I'll get some negative feedback (it's happened before), but I'd rather move on to some other challenges since this one isn't enormously difficult.
> 
> -----
> 
> It's odd that none of us have yet been able to evoke some unmistakable disapproval yet. Perhaps our challenges are still somewhat elementary OVERALL, but we're going to build them up for sure.
> 
> I'm plotting away at another challenge now.... something creative that will definitely make me stand out without being too terrifying for me to fulfill it... I've got to "man up" though and start getting more bold.


wow grats...thats awesome, and running 4 miles holy crap amazing...just how short were these things? NBA 80's short? John Stockton short?

for me the most difficult thing would be to ask a girl out that i really like...well maybe not if i knew the other person also liked me but either way i think thats more terrifying thing just because of the belief of being devastated by a person you like saying no...that might be crushing


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## ardrum

They were so short that certain stretches I was performing could have possibly been illegal. I allowed some safety behavior in this instance, since I didn't want legal trouble, lol.

Relatively speaking, MUCH shorter than John Stockton's (they are far more revealing on the upper thigh since they split upward there).


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## Halcyon

ardrum said:


> Relatively speaking, MUCH shorter than John Stockton's (they are far more revealing on the upper thigh since they split upward there).


john stockton









i don't think i could do that..hrmmm well in that picture above they aren't that short but they are getting there and well...i don't know hrmmm maybe the girls really liked seeing it though

I see those people on bikes all the time in spandex, those almost professional tour de france type looking bike riders


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

*Re: re: SAS Shame-Attacking Challenge!*



ardrum said:


> but I'd rather move on to some other challenges since this one isn't enormously difficult.


Dont write off what you just achieved man - before you went out you thought it was gonna be tough - it feels like it was easy cos you have just shifted a major viewpoint. Nothing bad happened, so now you feel it was easy! Thats why you have to be *really honest* in your prediction (dont just do it mechanically for the sake of writing something here) and then compare the reality with the prediction. You are looking for both others and your own reaction.

Well done - I am slipping behind!! I need to buy some string for my dog shoebox 

Ross


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## ardrum

Yeah, that's true, Ross. It's all about building up.

I want my next exercise to be somewhat more unfamiliar to me. I'll be brainstorming today.


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## ardrum

Now THIS is a shame-attacking exercise: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v__2D6lH ... ed&search=


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## ardrum

25-30 seconds is my favorite!


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## StimulateYourBrain

ardrum said:


> When I enter the building for my haircut tonight, I'm going to stop and block the front door if someone is behind me. I'll try to stand there until they tell me to get out of the way.


what do you say to them when they tell you to move?


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## M2E

This thread is so great! Is there anybody else doing these things?


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## TobeyJuarez

lol, i love this...


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## Mina84

Hi!

This is is going to be my challenge on Friday in class(something I do anyway lol):

CHALLENGE: While working in groups I'll make sure that what I say is worthless. I will make mistakes while talking and pretend that I get stuck, struggling to find the right words to say, so that I look like an idiot. I will also talk very low.

PREDICTION: Everyone will hate or ignore me because my silly contributions won't help us finish the task. Plus everyone will think I'm retarded because of my underdeveloped communication skills and mistakes while talking. Everyone will ask me to speak up or repeat myself.

Now, wish me luck


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## M2E

Mina84 said:


> Hi!
> 
> This is is going to be my challenge on Friday in class(something I do anyway lol):
> 
> CHALLENGE: While working in groups I'll make sure that what I say is worthless. I will make mistakes while talking and pretend that I get stuck, struggling to find the right words to say, so that I look like an idiot. I will also talk very low.
> 
> PREDICTION: Everyone will hate or ignore me because my silly contributions won't help us finish the task. Plus everyone will think I'm retarded because of my underdeveloped communication skills and mistakes while talking. Everyone will ask me to speak up or repeat myself.
> 
> Now, wish me luck


That's a great exercise  How did it go?


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## allrisesilver

This is really interesting stuff. I just happened to stumble across this thread and was wondering what it was all about. Is this supposed to be some sort of exposure exercises? If so I'm very eager to try though sort of afraid to carry them out. xD;


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## jook

This is a great idea for a thread and precisely what we did in CBT group (w/Dr. Richards in ARizona). 

If I were to do this it would be sitting at a table with a group of people having dinner and not saying a word...oh I hate the swirling thoughts about being too quiet, and oh they know I'm anxioius, and oh I look stupid, and oh, now they won't like me and oh, and oh, and oh...now that would be a real shame busting challenge for me.

Thanks for this thread ADRUM!


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