# How important are looks to you?



## Lawrencepa (Dec 21, 2015)

I'm not asking because I'm ugly. I'm kind of overweight and only seem to have luck with other overweight girls. I was seeing one recently that was obese. She was a nice girl and I felt like I had a lot of control in the relationship even if it was only for a couple of weeks. It basically ended because I felt like I failed in bed and felt ashamed so ended things. I know it seemed a bit dramatic but the whole not being physically attracted to her played a part aswell. I think I'd be ashamed to introduce her to my friends especially as she wasn't my type. 
I don't want an overly attractive girl as i feel that my feelings would get trampled on and I can't even see a possibility of getting a really pretty girl. When I see so many pretty girls I kind of feel angry I can't get one. It seems the majority are in that category. I don't know why I feel that anger but I guess it's the whole 'she wouldn't look at me twice' thing. So I think I want an average girl but I want someone who's quite simple aswell. I wouldn't want a girl who has more friends than I have fingers for example.


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## Lostintheshuffle (Sep 13, 2015)

Looks aren't a big determining factor, at least for me. I've literally dated the most random type of person, everyone Ive ever dated has been absolutely nothing like the others. Ok, in reality I have only had 5 relationships in the last 14 years. But all of them were with people who absolutely NOTHING like each other; both in looks and personality.

When I first met my now ex-husband (we were together a total of 9 years though) I was absolutely NOT attracted to him at all. Like absolute zero attraction romantically. But we were working long hours at the same job and were forced to spend time together. So much time that I got to know him for his personality--and THAT is what hooked me. So, I ended up marrying him and spending almost ten years with him before **** got ugly between us. 

But the overall point here is no, I personally do not hinge everything on looks. Sure, it's definitely a bonus. But in my experience, most men who are considered "extremely attractive" are not so attractive on the inside. Though I consider myself very, very lucky now in that my current boyfriend that I've now been with for quite a while.. is both attractive inside and out to me. 

People cut out lots of fantastic dating options when they only shoot for the looks, or how they think their friends would receive them. None of that really matters. How they TREAT you and you FEEL with them is what matters.


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## SorryForMyEnglish (Oct 9, 2014)

Wow. Sounds hypocritical. Actually not wow cause there are tones of threads like this here.
It doesn't matter to me what looks one has (and I'm sure you'll see other girls here writing the same stuff about how personality matters, but not looks in this thread), but mentality like in this message is a huge turn off. Forget about your and other people's (girls included) looks. You'll be happy. First you should just meet people in general, communicate with them. Then you'll find someone among those people and it'll be cool. They'll like you for who you are. That's what personality is about.


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

Lostintheshuffle said:


> People cut out lots of fantastic dating options when they only shoot for the looks, or how they think their friends would receive them. None of that really matters. How they TREAT you and you FEEL with them is what matters.


I agree.


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## Kilgore Trout (Aug 10, 2014)

Unfortunately looks are very damn important to me. 
I say unfortunately because I feel bad about it. As a civilized human being i wish i could only or at least mostly care about personality.
Also being picky slims my chances to get a girl.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

I mean a girl has to be at least average looking. But personality is more important.


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

SorryForMyEnglish said:


> Wow. Sounds hypocritical. Actually not wow cause there are tones of threads like this here.
> It doesn't matter to me what looks one has (and I'm sure you'll see other girls here writing the same stuff about how personality matters, but not looks in this thread), but mentality like in this message is a huge turn off. Forget about your and other people's (girls included) looks. You'll be happy. First you should just meet people in general, communicate with them. Then you'll find someone among those people and it'll be cool. They'll like you for who you are. That's what personality is about.





Lostintheshuffle said:


> Looks aren't a big determining factor, at least for me. I've literally dated the most random type of person, everyone Ive ever dated has been absolutely nothing like the others. Ok, in reality I have only had 5 relationships in the last 14 years. But all of them were with people who absolutely NOTHING like each other; both in looks and personality.
> 
> When I first met my now ex-husband (we were together a total of 9 years though) I was absolutely NOT attracted to him at all. Like absolute zero attraction romantically. But we were working long hours at the same job and were forced to spend time together. So much time that I got to know him for his personality--and THAT is what hooked me. So, I ended up marrying him and spending almost ten years with him before **** got ugly between us.
> 
> ...


the strange thing is, i have never seen a very ugly guy like me being togheter with a women. females does care about looks, and so does guys. looks is part of what the society is about. the media is very focused on looks.

and people want a good looking partner.....someone they can turn on......but ofc also must have decent personality.

why would anyone choose non-good looking with nice personality over good-looking with nice personality?

Lawrencepa: work out and then average girls will want you.


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## Lostintheshuffle (Sep 13, 2015)

ljubo said:


> the strange thing is, i have never seen a very ugly guy being togheter with a women. females does care about looks, and so does guys. looks is part of what the society is about. the media is very focused on looks.
> 
> and people want a good looking partner.....someone they can turn on......but ofc also must have decent personality.
> 
> ...


well, I don't know what to tell you there other than it is possible. My ex husband was ugly as ****. Im dead serious. my entire family and the friends I had at the time kept asking me what on earth I was doing with him and would tease me endlessly.


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

Lostintheshuffle said:


> well, I don't know what to tell you there other than it is possible. My ex husband was ugly as ****. Im dead serious. my entire family and the friends I had at the time kept asking me what on earth I was doing with him and would tease me endlessly.


i dont think he was that, so many females always say that "my ex was ugly etc" i take that with a pourn of salt....he might not have been like brad pitt but sure as hell something with his looks must have turn you on....he was not ugly like me.......chance for that is 0.

the fact that your entire family and friends mocked him for being "ugly" says alot about the society we live in. people like good looking people more.


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## Lostintheshuffle (Sep 13, 2015)

ljubo said:


> i dont think he was that, so many females always say that "my ex was ugly etc" i take that with a pourn of salt....he might not have been like brad pitt but sure as hell something with his looks must have turn you on....he was not ugly like me.......chance for that is 0.
> 
> the fact that your entire family and friends mocked him for being "ugly" says alot about the society we live in. people like good looking people more.


I would literally show you a picture of him to prove I'm not exaggerating. but I believe that is an invasion of his privacy and so I will not. he was teased mercilessly all though out school and even in his career. so badly in fact, that even now as an adult as he serves in the US army...he was bullied by officers. he got in trouble for punching said officer in the face because he couldn't take it anymore. he was labeled suicidal and unfit for duty as a result of the teasing he took from everyone. so no. I am not being dramatic or exaggerating. he was indeed, very, very unattractive. the whole point of this is to enforce that you can't generalize like that because it simply isn't true. may not happen often. but it definitely does.


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

Lostintheshuffle said:


> I would literally show you a picture of him to prove I'm not exaggerating. but I believe that is an invasion of his privacy and so I will not. he was teased mercilessly all though out school and even in his career. so badly in fact, that even now as an adult as he serves in the US army...he was bullied by officers. he got in trouble for punching said officer in the face because he couldn't take it anymore. he was labeled suicidal and unfit for duty as a result of the teasing he took from everyone. so no. I am not being dramatic or exaggerating. he was indeed, very, very unattractive. the whole point of this is to enforce that you can't generalize like that because it simply isn't true. may not happen often. but it definitely does.


maybe you can show in pm....

i think you are exaggerating about his looks...

if he was that ugly....how could he be with a good looking lady like you.....

okay lets say you are not exaggerating....still i am more ugly than him and there is no chance for me to ever get loved by a female......he is 1 of 10, i am 0000 of 10.....

exactly not happen often, maybe 1 % chance, like winning in lottery....and since i am even more ugly, there is 0.001 % chance. depressing.


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## Lawrencepa (Dec 21, 2015)

ljubo said:


> Lawrencepa: work out and then average girls will want you.


I have actually arranged a date with an average girl for this weekend literally today so fingers crossed for that one. I don't see my weight as an obstacle to finding anyone I had as much chance of finding someone before I put on weight as I do now. I don't actually go on a lot of dates I set up I don't particularly know why but I end up cancelling. Feel so pathetic for this. I'm not going to get anywhere if I don't take that first step


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## SorryForMyEnglish (Oct 9, 2014)

ljubo said:


> the strange thing is, i have never seen a very ugly guy like me being togheter with a women. females does care about looks, and so does guys. looks is part of what the society is about. the media is very focused on looks.
> 
> and people want a good looking partner.....someone they can turn on......but ofc also must have decent personality.
> 
> ...


You're right, media is obsessed with looks and people are surrounded by visual culture + capitalism and its logic in making everything and everyone sort of ''a product'' so people start to look at themselves and at each other in this way. What they write on this forum is just another proof. But what i would say is **** it. Living people made from blood and flesh are more valuable to me. And life in itself is way more interesting than its artificial surrogate.

They would choose that person simply because they wouldn't range people by their ''qualities'' and take that person as a special snowflake. I'm serious. It's all about the way their thought procces would go. It's all about communication and respecting people. Don't know how to explain it better


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Well let's put it this way, I woudn't date a girl I am physically repulsed by. Obesity isn't what i'm attracted to, I doubt that will ever change. 

The type of women I find that I am most physically attracted to tend to be short with cute and youthful looking faces but that doesn't mean I woudn't date girls who arne't like this. 

Honestly, I just want a girl that I click with and is friendly as long as she is decently attractive because I am a pretty shy and lonely guy and I always appreciate it when women talk to me. So a girl i'm not attracted to initially, I can become attracted to her if I feel like she has a great personality and we click. 

There are lots of women out there who would be considered physically attractive, you should find one that is faithful and has a personality that clicks with yours. Throw dem hoes in the trash can.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

I don't really care what a guy looks like. I'd date a total beast if he knew how to make me feel good.

Too bad it doesn't work the other way around.


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## Terranaut (Jul 11, 2013)

As long as she's not a Republican...


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Very important, I can't be in a happy relationship with someone I'm not attracted to.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

I have to be attracted to her. I couldn't care less if my family or whoever else doesn't think she is pretty. As long as I find her attractive that's enough for the looks department. The girl I like at the grocery store is not close to a 10, and I know people close to me probably wouldn't find her attractive but there is something about her that is really cute to me.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

I don't care what other people think, but I have to be physically attracted to them.


Despite being quite visually driven, I've become more attracted to a few guys who weren't my physical type before based on their personality traits.


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

truant said:


> I don't really care what a guy looks like. I'd date a total beast if he knew how to make me feel good.
> 
> Too bad it doesn't work the other way around.


Pretty much this. :/


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## Svarog11 (Jul 15, 2016)

ITT: "looks don't matter"
IRL: "sorry you're not really my type"
looks don't matter my ***


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

Svarog11 said:


> ITT: "looks don't matter"
> IRL: "sorry you're not really my type"
> looks don't matter my ***


Hoping that I didn't accidentally count the same respondent twice, and that I actually understood what everyone here was saying:

ITT:

*Looks matter (or matter at least to a certain extent):* 8
*Looks don't matter (or don't matter very much):* 6

It's not the runaway "Looks don't matter!" denial-fest you think it is. "Looks matter!" is narrowly winning...and if more people respond, I bet it'll win by an even wider margin.

Hope you find this encouraging. :/


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## VanitysFiend (Jun 13, 2016)

More important than they should be I think  I don't have any particular physical preferences other than not significantly overweight, but I'm game for alittle extra :wink Thing is, a naff personality, especially values wise, can kill an attraction, even a limerent one, stone dead no matter how good looking someone is...

My current limerent object is a tiny, ultra pale, ginger artist who loves the out doors and used to be in the territorial army. Thing is though, she's also a christian, which wouldn't be a deal breaker by itself, but some of the values that go with Christianity (the homophobia and sexism especially) would've completely crushed my affection and respect for her if I'd ever found out that she was comfortable with those values.

I kinda wish I had tried talking about it though, it would've been better than slowly having to throttle my feelings...


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## May19 (Apr 25, 2012)

Personally, I don't think looks matter to me very much. I think for me I'm more attracted to their personality, the way the treat me and others, and their views etc. I value connection more than looks.

Here's a quick story. I knew my ex for a good 8 months. We met over the internet too. When I first saw him on cam, I wasn't attracted to him. But over time, I was attracted to him because of the amount of time we would spend together talking and the connection we made. Long story short, things did not work out. When I broke up with him, it was over his behavior rather than his looks too.

So I agree that as cliche and surprising as it may seem, looks do not matter much to me. You could be hot and cute and I might find you hot and cute, but it doesn't mean I would want to date you based on that. And funny enough, I've liked guys that i personally would not want to date. I just liked them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Well, I think pretty much anyone who tells you looks are not high on their list is probably either not being entirely honest with you or not being honest with themselves.

That said, it has come to my attention that when most people talk about "Looks" in this context, they're really talking about what is generally considered to be attractive by the vast majority of people. Which (to me) means that if most people think some woman is attractive and I say looks matter, they would automatically assume that I'd naturally be just as attracted to her as everyone else is. Which is sometimes true (There are a few mainstream celebrities who I think are super hot (or used to be before age, hard living and plastic surgery caught up to them). 

But often I don't really see the appeal with the popular concept of attractiveness. It tends to gloss over anything resembling a real person and women end up doing all kinds of things to look like they aren't real (which is weird to me). Things like wearing a ton of makeup. Way beyond what would be necessary to merely accentuate their strong points. They end up going at the makeup idea with a paintbrush with the idea that they need to cover up every pore and wrinkle and blemish that could ever possibly be there.....and then slather on some more just in case the wind blows some of it away.

And then you have the internet and photoshop. It has it's uses but I really don't care to see pictures of people who have photoshopped every ounce of life out of their faces. I'll sometimes use it for pictures of people who have huge moles or blemishes because I'm just OCD like that sometimes (and moles and blemishes often look worse in photos than real life) but when I photoshop a picture, I'm aiming to do the least amount of "enhancement" that I possibly can. It's hard to find a photo of anyone that hasn't been filtered all to hell. You know if you can't see any hairs in their eyebrows something isn't right. 

Anyway, too much of a rant and I don't really wanna post it but I typed too much and don't wanna delete it. 

So. I tend to be more attracted to people who look "real". Sometimes that will be the main thing I find attractive about them. But yes. Ultimately, looks DO matter a lot. Even though I don't even have what I'd optimistically call "decent" looks. I think I'm ugly in a way that goes far beyond what even mainstream popular opinion would think was bad looking. And my weird and awkward behavior whenever someone really puts me on the spot is the final straw in that department. But I'm not dead. I still look. I can't help that.


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## Ominous Indeed (Sep 6, 2015)

I'd say i'd date about every 7 of 10 girls based only on looks. 

Then there is personality which I value more though, so I can make an exception for 2 of those 3 girls. 

Then I am up to 9 out of 10 girls. 

Most girls my age goes out and parties every weekend. I don't think it would matter to me how hot you were, I wouldn't see a future for us together if you were that kind of girl. 

Then in the end I limit myself to 3 out of 10 girls.


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## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

I would be lying if I said they didn't influence my desire to want to be with them or not.


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

tehuti88 said:


> Hoping that I didn't accidentally count the same respondent twice, and that I actually understood what everyone here was saying:
> 
> ITT:
> 
> ...


If looks does not count, then why is 99 % of all non-good looking guys always alone?

my chances to be in a relationship is 0 %.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

ljubo said:


> If looks does not count, then why is 99 % of all non-good looking guys always alone?
> 
> my chances to be in a relationship is 0 %.


So you think you're unattractive?

I think I remember seeing a picture of you and you're a good-looking young guy. What's going on with you?


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## tehuti88 (Jun 19, 2005)

I put way too much thought into a reply I'll likely regret, but whatever...



ljubo said:


> If looks does not count, then why is 99 % of all non-good looking guys always alone?


1. Um, the post you replied to was explaining how most people here are saying that looks DO count...so I don't understand why you're quoting that post with your question. :um

2. I *never* said anywhere that "looks don't count." Even my response to @*truant* did not say that. (My standards for looks are remarkably low, however, and other factors win out over physical looks for me. A hot guy with a douche personality would kill my attraction dead. See @*VanitysFiend* 's post for an explanation.)

And even most of the people in this thread who answered with a variant of "looks don't count" admitted that looks _do_ count, just not to the same degree/as the main factor in attraction. (Even though he answered that "looks do count," check out @*WillYouStopDave* 's post for an explanation.) That's the problem with threads like this, too many users tend to think in terms of either/or when it's a lot more complicated.

3. Please post your stats, re: "99% of all non-good (sic) looking guys." Pretty sure that's an exaggeration. (And before you type it, "Everybody says..." or "A lot of people say..." is *not* a statistic.)

and

4. Why are you asking me? :| I'm fat and ugly and forever alone, too, remember?



> my chances to be in a relationship is 0 %.


Yeah, well, it's not like I don't know the feeling. Welcome to the club.


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## harrison (Apr 14, 2012)

@tehuti88 - I remember when you posted a picture of yourself ages ago. You may have been a bit overweight - but you certainly weren't ugly.  Don't be so hard on yourself.

Edit: and please don't take out of that I'm saying you were overweight. I only mentioned it because you keep saying how fat you are. You looked fine to me and I think I remember a couple of other people commenting on that photo as well. (in a positive way)

(I'm actually surprised I can remember that - my memory must be getting a bit better)


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

tehuti88 said:


> I put way too much thought into a reply I'll likely regret, but whatever...
> 
> 1. Um, the post you replied to was explaining how most people here are saying that looks DO count...so I don't understand why you're quoting that post with your question. :um
> 
> ...


i am sure you are not fat and ugly, do you have any picture i can see perhaps? i am always honest.


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## Kovu (Jun 18, 2013)

Lostintheshuffle said:


> I would literally show you a picture of him to prove I'm not exaggerating. but I believe that is an invasion of his privacy and so I will not. he was teased mercilessly all though out school and even in his career. so badly in fact, that even now as an adult as he serves in the US army...he was bullied by officers. he got in trouble for punching said officer in the face because he couldn't take it anymore. he was labeled suicidal and unfit for duty as a result of the teasing he took from everyone. so no. I am not being dramatic or exaggerating. he was indeed, very, very unattractive. the whole point of this is to enforce that you can't generalize like that because it simply isn't true. may not happen often. but it definitely does.


I know you weren't talking to me in this post but I got curious. Its hard to see you with somebody as unattractive as described because of your avi. You sure If I pm you you can't show one pic?

It also seems pretty harsh for you to call him "ugly as ****." But if you were with him even though you thought that he must of had a heck of a personality when y'all met.


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## Lostintheshuffle (Sep 13, 2015)

Kovu said:


> I know you weren't talking to me in this post but I got curious. Its hard to see you with somebody as unattractive as described because of your avi. You sure If I pm you you can't show one pic?
> 
> It also seems pretty harsh for you to call him "ugly as ****." But if you were with him even though you thought that he must of had a heck of a personality when y'all met.


The phrase may have been harsh, yes, but seeing as he PURPOSELY ruined my life and my daughter's.. I am having trouble feeling remorseful about it.

You guys need to just freaking trust me. I have ZERO reason to exaggerate or lie. Period. You know what? I see you guys posting pictures on here in the photo threads, talking about how much you despise how you look and guess what? YOU ALL LOOK A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN HE DOES. I swear it on my freaking daughter's life I am NOT exaggerating.

No, I will not send anyone a picture of him because

A) that is crossing the line and even though he may not have respected ME at all, I have at least a TINY shred of respect and will not go posting pictures of him online.

B) I dont even HAVE a picture of him to share! he is my EX HUSBAND. He is blocked on my facebook and I do not have pictures saved of him on my phone.... because that is weird.. saving pictures of your ex. HE RUINED MY LIFE GUYS.... I dont keep ANYTHING that has to do with him, so im sorry I cant.

My ex was tall and VERY skinny. Even though he was Caucasian, he had features that are not typical for Caucasian individuals, namely he had a very big, bulbous nose, and extremely full, large lips. Paired with his large head (he was ALWAYS teased for how big his head was, everywhere he went. even as an adult) and him having very small and somewhat folded over ears didnt help at all.

His eyes were so dark brown that you couldnt tell where the iris began and the pupil ended, so they looked like black, beady eyes from afar. I say beady, because he has some sort of skin deformity on both eye lids, having an extra flap of skin where most other people do not. This made his eyes look very, very small and made him look sleepy all the time.

I feel like a jerk for writing this, but I am a bit irritated that I cant even express something without people telling me I must be exaggerating. I know you guys look at my avatar and think I may be a little pretty, but you guys dont know me.

I was FAT. Yes, FAT. My entire family is obese, except for me now. They all heart failure, high cholesterol and freaking diabetes. I looked completely different 10 years ago. But 8 years ago, I decided I didnt want to end up like the rest of my family and have all of these health issues. So, I busted my butt and lost a ton of weight. So, having been a fat kid my entire life, and having anxiety and major self-esteem issues.. definitely messed with who I am now. To ME, I am STILL that fat kid on the inside. This detail right here, is EXACTLY why i am not picky when it comes to looks. Because I have BEEN there with being unattractive. Please.. just believe me that I am not some shallow person.


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## BAC (Aug 16, 2015)

Personality is just as important, but looks do matter in my opinion. I'm not attracted to people that don't look healthy/ don't take good care of themselves. Personal looks have to be important to the person in question, and it has to be evident that they have some level of care about being in decent shape and taking care of their appearance in other ways.


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## Lawrencepa (Dec 21, 2015)

Random thought... Why are there so many beautiful women? It's actually to the stage where I would say 5 out of 10 women I would say are beautiful. The rest aren't necessarily ugly just maybe average or beneath my standards. I feel superior in looks to a lot of guys but then I feel a lot of women are too good for me? Lookswise and personality.


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## overthinker94 (Aug 26, 2016)

I've dated less than average looking guys mainly because im afraid that attractive men will just like me for my looks and not my shy, introverted personality. Plus the constant doubting myself and being worried about other girls finding my boyfriend attractive and possibly stealing him etc. I'm currently trying to end things with myself and to stop overthinking everything but usually personality wins over physical appearance for me.


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## Lawrencepa (Dec 21, 2015)

overthinker94 said:


> Plus the constant doubting myself and being worried about other girls finding my boyfriend attractive and possibly stealing him etc


I can relate to this. I haven't had a pretty girl be seriously interested in me for ages now though so it's hard to say for sure. Even average looking girls it happens though lol I think maybe a pretty girl that's overweight is my best option


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## Friendonkey (May 13, 2016)

I don't have high standards, but I really have to be at least a little attracted to a person to want to be with them.


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## vela (Apr 19, 2012)

Looks truly don't matter to me. It's very rare that I actually find someone physically attractive. I'm attracted to what's inside, I could care less about what they have on the outside. Of course I'm starting to think I'm demisexual, so there is that..


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## Batcat (Nov 19, 2014)

I'd say looks are quite important for me in that initial stage of being attracted to a girl. After a while other things come into play which dictates whether or not I still find them attractive.


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## Cashel (Oct 29, 2013)

Pretty important. They're obviously not the only important factor though.


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## Zatch (Apr 28, 2013)

Batcat said:


> I'd say looks are quite important for me in that initial stage of being attracted to a girl. After a while other things come into play which dictates whether or not I still find them attractive.


Ditto.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

Darktower776 said:


> I have to be attracted to her. I couldn't care less if my family or whoever else doesn't think she is pretty. As long as I find her attractive that's enough for the looks department. The girl I like at the grocery store is not close to a 10, and I know people close to me probably wouldn't find her attractive but there is something about her that is really cute to me.


You'd be surprised by how many people don't care. Negativity can sometimes be the loudest and come across as the consensus, but it's usually not the truth. Either apathy (positive in this case) or people will just be like, "those two are trying to be happy together. <end of thought>"

Unconventional beauty is a thing, though the term is in and of itself backhanded. I mean, what is conventional beauty? Airbrushed people? What you find beautiful or cute is what matters. I think you already know this, just reinforcing it. Maybe she's really cool and you'll hit it off.


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

I have to have some physical attraction. Let's face it, it's important. But I have certainly been on dates with people who I have questioned...like 'am I REALLY physically attracted to this person?'..where we had an awesome time and afterwards, the thought of her, physically, drove me insane (in a good way). So I think physical attraction can be 'learned' or attained later if you have an emotional attraction. I think emotional attraction trumps all. It's just that physical attraction is the initial focus. Like you aren't going to ask somebody out or go out with somebody if you don't have some physical attraction to. If we were all put into a dating situation for 3 weeks where we were all blindfolded, I'd bet ALL of us would be shocked by who we wound up with. (Maybe we'd be with somebody we wouldn't have found physically attractive or maybe we'd get some 'smoking hot' babe who would normally never have given us the time of day! And all parties would still be very content regardless of what they finally saw).


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*why do people get obese?*

poor peasants, in poverty

might be fit if never allowed any food. My deceased Dad was thin. 60kg when I dusted off his bathroom scales. I was 70kg

I'm sure I be the same as Dad. He won't know. Wonder if I'll reach his age of 89 or his weight, not the queen who beat him by getting to 90

Mum died from embolism age 77 cos cowboy doctors offered a
surgery to the stomach, quoting it might 50% fix it or make it worse. She was never, ever obese. Some sisters were, a bit


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## King Yoku (Apr 5, 2016)

I don't really mind others looks. I only really care about how I look, and unfortunately for me I'm a hideous freak.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

I feel sorry for people who don't take care of their health and that definitely shows in their looks. I cannot be with someone who doesn't care about their health. They say that you get affected based on the people you're surrounded by and that's most likely true. So I would have to say that looks do matter to me, but I don't have high standards. I just don't want to be around girls who smoke or eats massive amount of junk food. I take care of myself. I expect the girl I'm dating to do the same. I care for her and want her to be okay.


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## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

I'm fairly certain by this point that no one _actually_ wants an answer to this question, unless it confirms what they already believe...


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## AllTheSame (Mar 19, 2016)

It's strange to me in a way how attractiveness can change....even physical attractiveness....based on how close I am to her, and how the relationship plays out. I've talked before here about the crush I had on a woman at work, and how....omfg....she just turned out to be....let's say just incompatible with me. She's is actually borderline mentally unstable. But after her true colors came out it's strange to me how this woman who I used to find very, very attractive is not even a woman I'd consider going out with anymore....her personality overshadows her physical appearance, in such a way that I don't even find her attractive anymore. I don't even find her phsyically attracive anymore, she kind of repulses me. And we never even went out on a first date. All we did was flirt with each other. We never touched each other. I just got to know who she is as a person, as a woman and I was completely turned off. Totally. Looks matter to me, yeah, it's what usually attracts, initially but looks are most def not everything.


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## The Starry night (May 23, 2015)

Its looks that attract at first ....but for me its really ends up being all about the person...if they are some fake liar then that instantly puts me off and i dont find them attractive anymore.


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## thomasjune (Apr 7, 2012)

Pretty important to me.I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone I'm not attracted to. But of course there's more to it than just looks.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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