# it doesn't matter waht other people think?



## Lizzy33 (Apr 24, 2006)

ok im new here and im a very frustrated person tonight so sorry one of my firsts posts is so, well, like this. i'm not trying to argue against this stuff i'm just trying to talk thru my thoughts, hoping somebody will present me with a logical contradiction. 
so i know that my excessive worry is basically ruining my life but i don't know how to get rid of worries that i belive are real. for example, i really don't get it when you say it doesn't matter waht other people think. what other people think has very real effects on your life. the phrase reality is perception keeps going thru my head. if you're the only one who perceives a pleasant reality for youself than you're pretty much just crazy. aren't you? i guess saying this makes me realize that i kind of wait for other people to define my reality. the thing is, i feel like they do. i feel like without other people knowing and thinking that im good, im not. i guess its like that whole if a tree falls in the forest and nobody's around to hear it does it make a sound type thing. do i sound crazy? i think i might be. im confused.
again, i hope nobody's annoyed, i'm just putting my thoughts out there, wondering if anybody thinks the same


----------



## matt404 (Feb 8, 2006)

Hi Lizzy33!

Welcome to SAS! I've thought a lot about the kinds of things you talked about in your post. "How can I know if I'm 'good' or 'right' unless other people think I am?" "If lots of people think I'm wrong, then I must be." Now I try to think about it this way: What if you were, say, born in some remote village and were abandoned at birth? You grew up never knowing anyone else, and no one knew about you. Would it then be impossible for you to be "good/right" since there is no one there to tell you? Or, what if you were born in the South before the abolition of slavery? You think slavery is wrong, but everyone around you says slavery is OK and that you're wrong. Does that automatically make you wrong? 

I agree that it's good to sometimes get other's opinions on things, but you can't rely on them for your entire reality and concept of yourself (I still often do this though, haven't quite yet figured out how to stop. So I guess I'm not much help there.) Just know that other people aren't always right!

EDIT: There was a quote I wanted to include here but the first time I posted I couldn't remember who said it. Bertrand Russell said "Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric." Even if everyone around you thinks you're wrong, it doesn't make you wrong (or right). It's sort of a way I wish I could be, but haven't quite gotten there yet.


----------

