# Do you get nervous going to a new "place of worship"?



## Nogy

So i'm just wondering, how do you guys deal with going to a new church, temple, synagogue, sangha or whatever?? Doesn't it make you nervous, knowing that you'll be around a bunch of new people that you don't know? If you have any advice for overcoming this fear, it would be greatly appreciated.

I've recently (4-5 months ago) gotten into mediatation. I absolutely love meditating, so i decided to look into buddhism, where meditation has a big role. I started researching buddhism with nothing but a simple curiousity, but found it to be quite appealing after doing some research. Now, after doing even more looking, i have decided that i want to practice Zen. I won't go into details, but i really enjoy it and have been practicing zazen on my own for a couple of months, and i really enjoy it. 

My problem is that i'm very nervous about going to my local Zen meditation center. I know that i need to join a sangha if i want to get the full benefit of practice, but i'm not use to being around so many people. I keep telling myself every week that i'll go on the next saturday (they have a beginners instruction each saturday, followed by their big weekly meditation), but i always back out. I'm very nervous about going to this event, because there will be about 100 people there. 

I don't know what i'm trying to accomplish by making this thread. I guess i would just like to hear from someone that has had similiar anxiety about going to a new place of worship...whatever type of worship it might be, it makes no difference to me


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## millenniumman75

Yes, it does make me nervous. After attending my current church for over five years and being a member for over three, there are still times (well, it's often) that I feel like an outsider. I have no problem getting up to the altar to pray - that's awesome meditation time. Completely ironic, I know :lol.


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## Class

It took me three point five months to actually go to the church on my campus. I still usually feel like an outsider.


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## tjames

I get more nervous about going to a new church than I do about going to a Buddhist temple or center. Christians seem very eager to bring you in a provide you with a warm welcome. Buddhist seem less interested in that. They are very nice but I have been able to go into a Buddhist center meditate her a talk and leave without talking to more than two people. I have only been involved in Kadampa Buddhism so Zen might be different.


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## dirsad

The quick answer: Yes.

It took me a month to conjure up the strength to overcome it for my current church even though I wanted to go.


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## barchaetone

tjames said:


> I get more nervous about going to a new church than I do about going to a Buddhist temple or center. Christians seem very eager to bring you in a provide you with a warm welcome. Buddhist seem less interested in that. They are very nice but I have been able to go into a Buddhist center meditate her a talk and leave without talking to more than two people. I have only been involved in Kadampa Buddhism so Zen might be different.


I'm Catholic, and *the* friendliest experience I had with respect to religion was in a Buddhist temple. I was visiting with my family, and we were curious as to what it was all about. I studied Buddhism for many years in college and grad school and practiced it for a while. Anyway, we poked around and could find nobody in the temple area, so we started creeping up the steps to a "loft" above the main room. As soon as we poked our heads up, several women who were seated and about to eat waved us in. They invited us to lunch of the most delicious Thai food I've ever had - my wife, me, and our 3 little kids. At the end of the meal, they broke out a fancy cake and started singing...and we realized that we had crashed one woman's birthday party! I have never felt as warmly welcomed by other religious people than at this event. That being said, in my experience, religious people in general are more welcoming and friendly than the non-religious. It doesn't matter the religion.


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## barchaetone

To the OP, the answer is: not now, but formerly, yes! Also, I want to emphasize that you are 100% correct in your statement: *"I know that i need to join a sangha if i want to get the full benefit of practice."* Don't ever lose sight of that. We are meant to share our spiritual lives in community.

My wife and I are often forced by our scheduled obligations to attend Mass at other churches, so we hop around different ones for fun. Having done it so much, the nervousness I might have had has vanished. If we had to pick a new parish, I wouldn't feel that anxious either. I think a big part of anxiety is feeling like you don't belong - my identity as a Catholic means that I don't feel like an outsider at other churches. Outside of services, it is often difficult to break into the cliques that thrive at many churches. Even so, it's worth it. In modern life we've lost the family and community that is so important in sustaining and enriching our lives. Religious communities help provide some balance. My parish is really an extended family for me and my wife.


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## blue the puppy

im nervous going to _any_ place of worship.


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## erasercrumbs

Yeah, going to a new church is especially horrifying, but even going to a church that I've attended for a while is enough to make my knees wobbly with trepidation. That's why I stopped going to church.


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