# Why the **** don't my "friends" invite me anywhere?



## JTHearts

It's like they all hate me. I never get invited to parties or anything and never have. It makes me very angry and hateful. I don't have many friends because I can't keep them and nobody wants to talk to me and the friends I do have currently never want me to go anywhere with them and leave me out all the time.


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## Hayman

I was about your age (19) when I noticed the few friends I had left started to change their personalities notably and started to drift away. I remember feeling completely out of control with regards to remaining in touch with them for quite some time.

They knew my character and knew I wasn't much of an overly adventurous or extroverted person. They knew I was quite happy with going around to their houses or arranging a meet-up at a pub somewhere. Doing much more than that made me feel uncomfortable and I'd usually make my excuses not to go out elsewhere.

There become a time where phone calls and text messages to me practically evaporated. I'd only get invites to specific places they'd knew full well I'd say "_no_" to. Basically, I was being placed into a trap they knew they could catch me on and shout at me. It got to the point where I only ended up with one friend. My former best friend. I used to get the occasional visit from him once a month or so, but that was about it.

As soon as he materialised a girlfriend, that was it. 'Game Over'. He changed beyond all recognition and I can count on both hands the amount of times we've been in contact with one another over the last ten years. Face to face contact? Once in the last ten years...

I didn't leave my friends. They left me. I didn't change. They did.

Sadly, it's a fact of life. Those with the 'gift of the gab' will backstab you, seemingly create a small army of new friends out of thin air and leave you behind. Those who are quiet, such as myself, will find themselves completely friendless in their early twenties if they can't adapt to being egotistical, over-confident, inconsiderate morons. At best, your relationships with old friends will become increasingly estranged as progressions just 'materialise' for them - but not for you. :?


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## no one here

Because they're not your friends.


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## JTHearts

Heartlessmistakes said:


> Because they're not your friends.


Yeah, I've heard that, but if that's true then I have never actually had any friends. All of them left me out, elementary/middle school, high school, college, all of them. It really frustrates me.


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## FkkdUp

I understand your situation, I also had similar experience. It is this sort of situation that teaches you who is your "real friend" and who is "fake friends". Fake friends are those who just will socialize with you if you happen to be in their company but they have no desire to especially invite you to spend their time talking or socializing with you. I had a similar situation where I though some people were my "friends" just because a mutual friend of mine was inviting me and them together for many dinners and other get together sessions where I used to indulge in hours long discussions with them on almost every kind of topic on hand. But once this mutual friend left the place these so-called "friends" estranged with me and never ever tried to have any contact with me. This whole episode has taught me not to overestimate affection of "chit chat friends".


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## macky

This girl I'm subbed to just put out this video literally today with which IMO is 99% the samended predicament. If you can't relate to this chick, I'd be triple shocked:


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## WillYouStopDave

That's the thing about friendships. They're relatively informal. Just invite yourself. If you know they're doing something just show up and see what happens. If they don't like it they'll probably say something. I never had much of a problem with this kind of thing. I do have SA but if I wanted to hang out I'd just say "Hey. Let's hang out". My biggest problem was always that people wanted to keep hanging out every day when my mind just wasn't in that gear.


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