# She went out to lunch with another guy from class?



## dman93 (Aug 25, 2014)

Theres this girl in my computer tech class in college who ive been hanging out with for about 3 months. She considers us "dating". We kissed and did other things as well. But today during lunchbreak, i saw another guy from our class go into her car then she drove off! Not sure where they went, maybe lunch, or smoke weed (i accepted the fact she smokes weed). They came back after lunch as if nothing happened. I dont know but im confused and furious at the same time. What should i text her????!!!! She KNOWS im aware of this because she parks right next to me. What should i say? Should I bring this up or is accusing her a turn off? 
Hes a good looking guy too, and i KNOW attractive men are her weakness.

(Im no ugly guy but im shy & this is the first girl i ever dated. Im new to this but if this is what comes with dating, i can't do it). I guess i have trust issues

Edit: should I even text her at all???


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

'computer tech class'

'another guy from class'

How many women are in your class? My guess is few. She's probably used to being around guys and doesn't even think about this.

Accuse her of what lol? Having a guy in her car?


----------



## dman93 (Aug 25, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> 'computer tech class'
> 
> 'another guy from class'
> 
> ...


Yes there is only 3 girls in the class. 12 guys. But that shouldnt matter...


----------



## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Three months... dating... kissed 'and did other things'... is a bit vague in describing the dynamics here.

If you want to be exclusive with her (ie. boyfriend/girlfriend), then you need to have that conversation with her. If that has not happened, then you'd probably best not mention that car ride.


----------



## dman93 (Aug 25, 2014)

Just Lurking said:


> Three months... dating... kissed 'and did other things'... is a bit vague in describing the dynamics here.
> 
> If you want to be exclusive with her (ie. boyfriend/girlfriend), then you need to have that conversation with her. If that has not happened, then you'd probably best not mention that car ride.


Sorry. It is vague. We've been in constant daily texting/occasional phone calls since January. She works 6 nights a week. I work 5 nights a week. So its hard for us to actually hangout.
We hung out a total of 4 times. Kissed the first 3 times...went a bit further the 4th time. No sex yet. Hopefully that helps you out.
Shes working now, JUST texted me "hey whats up?" Debating on what I should respond... or IF i should respond... maybe i should make her wait & have her "thinking"???


----------



## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

Committed relationships in school? Please accept that just doesn't happen. 

People are learning who they are as adults.

Roll with it.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk


----------



## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

dman93 said:


> Sorry. It is vague. We've been in constant daily texting/occasional phone calls since January. She works 6 nights a week. I work 5 nights a week. So its hard for us to actually hangout.
> We hung out a total of 4 times. Kissed the first 3 times...went a bit further the 4th time. No sex yet. Hopefully that helps you out.
> Shes working now, JUST texted me "hey whats up?" Debating on what I should respond... or IF i should respond... maybe i should make her wait & have her "thinking"???


I think you have to have had the boyfriend/girlfriend conversation before you can question what she does with another guy.

Whatever happened, happened (if anything at all, and that's a *big* 'if'). Interrogating her about it isn't going to change anything.

You can't control her, you can't control him, you can't control other guys, and you can't control what's already happened. The only aspect here you have control over is yourself. Continue being the guy she was drawn to in the first place, and if you feel like she's for the long term, then think about having some serious conversations with her about that.


----------



## shwoop (Jul 6, 2014)

"Attractive men are her weakness"

lol


----------



## 2Milk (Oct 29, 2014)

shwoop said:


> "Attractive men are her weakness"
> 
> lol


^ xD


----------



## dman93 (Aug 25, 2014)

Just Lurking said:


> I think you have to have had the boyfriend/girlfriend conversation before you can question what she does with another guy.
> 
> Whatever happened, happened (if anything at all, and that's a *big* 'if'). Interrogating her about it isn't going to change anything.
> 
> You can't control her, you can't control him, you can't control other guys, and you can't control what's already happened. The only aspect here you have control over is yourself. Continue being the guy she was drawn to in the first place, and if you feel like she's for the long term, then think about having some serious conversations with her about that.


Spokewith her. Just asked, "did you go to lunch with mike?" Supposedly they 'only' smoked weed together. Idk what to think of all this! She could have told me her plans for lunch.. instead she left me guessing like that knowing i saw it all go down! Maybe she did him "favors" for weed? Since i know people do that these days. I THINK i trust her, but i dont trust other men around her. I think i have a problem here...
But i do like her...


----------



## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

looks like she had some sausage for lunch...


----------



## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

If you guys are not official she can do whatever she wants. It was probably just a friend of hers.


----------



## abhinav54pm (Mar 30, 2017)

ya you are afraid to lose her and that normal feeling as is your first day and anxiety hits
and directly accusing her you could lose her she might think you are some psycho 
if she did anything wrong she will do again so you can wait and watch
and if doesn't then there is no need to worry 
and you can tell about future plans for being living together or marriage if she shows interest then she is all yours 
just cool down


----------



## 629753 (Apr 7, 2015)

Kevin001 said:


> If you guys are not official she can do whatever she wants. It was probably just a friend of hers.


this ^


----------



## OtterlyAbsurd (Jan 25, 2017)

Kevin001 said:


> *If you guys are not official she can do whatever she wants.* It was probably just a friend of hers.


This.


----------



## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

dman93 said:


> Spokewith her. Just asked, "did you go to lunch with mike?" Supposedly they 'only' smoked weed together. Idk what to think of all this! She could have told me her plans for lunch.. instead she left me guessing like that knowing i saw it all go down! Maybe she did him "favors" for weed? Since i know people do that these days. *I THINK i trust her, but i dont trust other men around her. I think i have a problem here...
> But i do like her...*


If that's the way you are you feeling (possessive-like, insecure) and you two are only vaguely "dating" with no talk of being exclusive, then IMO things don't seem that great. Her entertaining the possibly of dating another guy is quite possible.


----------



## gunner21 (Aug 4, 2012)

Here's a thought: Maybe that guy is her friend. 


Mindblowing thought, I know...


----------



## SilentLyric (Aug 20, 2012)

Kevin001 said:


> If you guys are not official she can do whatever she wants. It was probably just a friend of hers.


in a way that's true, but if there was a girl that I really liked and we had been out on a few dates and started to get physical, I would be hurt if she went out with other guys.


----------



## dman93 (Aug 25, 2014)

SilentLyric said:


> in a way that's true, *but if there was a girl that I really liked and we had been out on a few dates and started to get physical, I would be hurt if she went out with other guys*.


Exactly...
Thank you...........


----------



## 629753 (Apr 7, 2015)

gunner21 said:


> Here's a thought: Maybe that guy is her friend.
> 
> Mindblowing thought, I know...


Soo naive...


----------



## gunner21 (Aug 4, 2012)

impedido10 said:


> Soo naive...


Please explain how that's naive. It's definitely a possibility.


----------



## mt moyt (Jul 29, 2015)

nah i agree with impedido, its definitely not a good thing. unless she told you about it afterward? if you're dating (for a while), i imagine u would tell each other about ur day and stuff. so if she didn't tell u about it, its not unusual for it to eat away at u.
but u gotta play it cool


----------



## 629753 (Apr 7, 2015)

gunner21 said:


> Please explain how that's naive. It's definitely a possibility.


You really think any straight male would go with a hot woman to lunch just to be friends?


----------



## gunner21 (Aug 4, 2012)

impedido10 said:


> You really think any straight male would go with a hot woman to lunch just to be friends?


Yes, that is certainly a possibility. GTFO with that men and women can't be friends bull****. I swear you guys need to go out there, live a little and you'll find out people are capable of doing many things.

Also, what's to say he is straight?


----------



## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

impedido10 said:


> You really think any straight male would go with a hot woman to lunch just to be friends?


It doesn't matter what his intentions were.

Not that this is relevant here, because they are not boyfriend and girlfriend, but you have to have faith that your partner is going to turn down those kinds of come-ons. If you don't have that trust, then that's a problem you need to work out on your own.


----------



## andretti (Jan 2, 2016)

impedido10 said:


> You really think any straight male would go with a hot woman to lunch just to be friends?


Girls and guys cant be friends. Somebody in that in that relationship will want something. I can only be friends with hideous girls that I wouldn't touch.

Kissing and doing things means nothing. She ain't that into you or situations like this wouldn't happen. She really isn't nothing to you though. You aren't together so it shouldn't matter.


----------



## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

andretti said:


> Girls and guys cant be friends. Somebody in that in that relationship will want something.


"Want" is on a spectrum.

There are varying degrees of interest, and then there are varying degrees of desire to act on that interest.

This "guys and girls can't be friends" stuff is all-or-nothing thinking and assumes that everyone is a horndog.


----------



## andretti (Jan 2, 2016)

Just Lurking said:


> "Want" is on a spectrum.
> 
> There are varying degrees of interest, and then there are varying degrees of desire to act on that interest.
> 
> This "guys and girls can't be friends" stuff is all-or-nothing thinking and assumes the t everyone is a horndog.


Disagree
. Sure there are exceptions to every rule. Tell your husband or wife you are going out with a friend of the opposite sex alone. Doesn't look appropriate and it most likely isn't going to fly.

In this situation though. They aren't nothing. So it really shouldn't be any of his business who she hangs with or "gives rides to"


----------



## gunner21 (Aug 4, 2012)

andretti said:


> *Girls and guys cant be friends. Somebody in that in that relationship will want something. I can only be friends with hideous girls that I wouldn't touch.
> *
> Kissing and doing things means nothing. She ain't that into you or situations like this wouldn't happen. She really isn't nothing to you though. You aren't together so it shouldn't matter.


I call bull**** on that.


----------



## Whatev (Feb 6, 2012)

Kevin001 said:


> If you guys are not official she can do whatever she wants.





shwoop said:


> "Attractive men are her weakness" lol





SilentLyric said:


> looks like she had some sausage for lunch...


----------



## euphoria04 (May 8, 2012)

Rather than confronting her about the guy (will make you look bad), take this opportunity to ask her about being exclusive and see what she says.


----------



## Kilgore Trout (Aug 10, 2014)

1- Forget this ever happened
2- Talk to her about your relationship. Tell her you like her and that you want the two of you to be exclusive bf/gf

If she accepted and stayed loyal then congratulations.
If she accepted but kept seeing other guys then unfortunately this girl isn't meant for you. Maybe some other guy can live with that but you clearly can't. 
If she didn't accept then unfortunately it means she doesn't think of you as her bf or she doesn't want a committed relationship.

I suggest you don't ask her about the boy and the lunch because it's risky. You'll never know how she will react.
You can't accuse her like you suggested because the nature of your relationship isn't clear. Maybe dating implies that she shouldn't go out with other guys but since you haven't officially talked about it you can't really argue with her since she hasn't agreed to anything.


----------



## Overdrive (Sep 19, 2015)




----------



## discoveryother (Sep 18, 2016)

lol i think i would react in a similar way emotionally. its not her issue though, its your issue. dealt with your own feelings and then go back to doing what you were doing...


----------



## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

SilentLyric said:


> in a way that's true, but if there was a girl that I really liked and we had been out on a few dates and started to get physical, I would be hurt if she went out with other guys.


He doesn't know what this girl did, lmao. He just saw her drive off with some guy.....um girls can have male friends you know. Don't jump to conclusions.


----------



## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

gunner21 said:


> Yes, that is certainly a possibility. GTFO with that men and women can't be friends bull****. I swear you guys need to go out there, live a little and you'll find out people are capable of doing many things.
> 
> Also, what's to say he is straight?


****ing thank you, these guys drive me up the wall. Who the **** do they think bisexual people are friends with? Nobody?


----------



## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

Maybe she went out with him as a friend? Don't worry, many girls like this are extremely extroverted and can easily hop on other guys' dicks without any second thoughts of you. You should do the same to her. Find another girl and go out with her as a friend and then let her hop on your dick to feel better in regards to your gf. Youth is comprised of these infidelities so don't take your fake gf so seriously. If you text her assuming she's cheating on you then that would make her feel violated cuz she would tell you she was just hanging out with her friend. But deep down inside you know they did it. So then you should do it too behind her back. Text her but maybe you'll break up.


----------

