# I don't fit in with my classmates.



## Mya

In my graphic design class, everyone is so close to each other. Everyone talks to everyone else and they're all friends. Accept for me. I'm very quiet and shy. And I don't know how to talk to people. They're all talkative and outgoing. So I'm usually sitting in a corner by myself for two hours while everyone else is talking and having fun. I like graphic design, but I hate that class the most because it's so embarassing. I feel like I'm ruining the group, like everything would be better if I wasn't in the class.


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## linux individual

I feel ya. I was going through the exact same thing that you just said. I was really shy and too anxious to start the conversation with anyone in my class. It's hard because the class is a relatively small(about 40 people) compared to a big lecture hall. Everyone seems to be forming their own cliques. Often time I felt like an outcast and just want to cry. Overtime, I realized that the more I feel about it, the more it will get worse and nobody even cares about me. So I just try push myself to focus on what I should do and the things that makes me happy. It seems normal now. Btw, I would talk to you if I was in your class.


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## RatherIsolated

Yup. The same thing is happening to me in all of my smaller classes, the worst of which unfortunately happens to be the class most directly related to my major. Everyone is friends with each other and I'm just there like..."Hey, I'm not really as unfriendly as you all assume I am and just want to be friends with you too!.."

Unfortunately, my crippling shyness and general aversion to most people makes it extremely difficult to make friends in my class. Oh well. You have my vote of sympathy.


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## AlphaHydrae

you are me.. in every single class....  I'm in my second year..... and just makes you feel that.. university life will be life this...
their happiness, happy talks looks so far that you'd never be able to do so.

but all you wanted to do is just to chat happily with classmates..


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## LO6

I feel the same way. I'm in a really small class (12) and most of the other people know each other from previous courses. They're also super smart, which makes me feel below them. For the midterm they had a study session and they didn't even invite me; I just want this semester to be over


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## Cullien

We must be soul mates, nah, just saying I'm kinda happy to know there are people who know what it is that I have felt and still feel so many times.


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## cybernaut

I had a Physics class like this in high school.In uni,my Hispanic Linguistic class is like this. It's like the smaller the classes get, the more cliquey students become. Just do good in the class so you can get the hell out of there.


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## max87

Mya said:


> In my graphic design class, everyone is so close to each other. Everyone talks to everyone else and they're all friends. Accept for me. I'm very quiet and shy. And I don't know how to talk to people. They're all talkative and outgoing. So I'm usually sitting in a corner by myself for two hours while everyone else is talking and having fun. I like graphic design, but I hate that class the most because it's so embarassing. I feel like I'm ruining the group, like everything would be better if I wasn't in the class.


The same thing happens to me. I just don't fit. 
Specially because they party hard. I can not remember any weekend when they don't do soemthing together and i'm just like: "nahh.... i can't go. Have fun guys". I always wonder what they think about me. Guess they don't even talk about me at all.


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## Tu Cielo

I feel you. I'm taking a Metals and Jewelry making class this semester and there's a total of ten people, including myself, in the class. The majority of the class are all buddy-buddy and text each other all the time. There's only one boy in the class, and he's really quiet, probably a mixture of being shy and being the only dude. I feel like him and I don't fit in with the rest of the class since I almost never speak up and I'm not really friends with anyone in class. I'm friendly and nice of course, but I just don't connect with anyone there. All the girls always joke in class and the professor joins in with them all the time. I always feel so left out when I'm there...


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## AceEmoKid

I feel similarly, although for sure I am not the quietest one in my animation class (that title belongs to another girl who never speaks, and when she does, it is in the quietest whisper you will ever here. even her drawings are delicate and small!), as I have blossomed somewhat (ahah) to speak more freely, especially when in my element. It helps that I met one of the guys in that class before we even realized we were in the same class together -- he's a rowdy, loud class clown; therefore he is the connection to everyone. I associate with him, and quickly become accepted by the others. 

Nonetheless, I do feel a bit different than everyone else. Besides cracking a few jokes here and there, none of my classmates know me on a personal level. It's because the class is small, we have to present storyboards bi monthly, and the professor constantly calls on people to participate....especially me, for some reason  ....that I have been superficially accepted. They probably only have a sense of comfort around me because I constantly have to answer questions and present my storyboards -- although, for the latter, I am proud. I have been complimented a lot for my ideas, cinematography, and unique drawing style. In the end, I think my art speaks for me. Luckily, in a class full of animators, we share the same creative bone and an array of personalities. We seem to embrace our idiosyncrasies. Even the titled "quietest girl" in our class is loved by our classmates and the teacher.  It warms my heart. But enough of that cheese. 

I think the best thing to do is speak through your designs. Share some ideas, and see if it starts a conversation with other classmates. In the end, graphic design can be very collaborative. As long as you have a piece of work or a few sketches to put down on the table, you have made your entrance as an artist, which should ideally be sufficient grounds to be accepted, and perhaps even create closer relationships with your classmates.


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## TheCanadian1

Mya said:


> ...everyone is so close to each other. Everyone talks to everyone else and they're all friends. Accept for me. I'm very quiet and shy. And I don't know how to talk to people. They're all talkative and outgoing. So I'm usually sitting in a corner by myself for two hours while everyone else is talking and having fun.


 I feel like this almost every day... I'm going through another bought of depression from built up loneliness now... *sigh*

I'm just not made to be social... makes life so much more difficult.


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## glossy95

I feel the same.. I'm just ruining the mood if I'm there, sometimes I feel like I'm invisible. I can't enjoy college at all.. Everyday I just come to sit around and listening to people talking, laughing while listening to them, studying, even highschool was better.. Maybe I really am invisible.


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## Irvy

Just keep hanging in there, it can be hard but you have to start learning to make friends if you don't want to be lonely


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## fauzdar65

i've been in these situations...but i've learned to cope somewhat. Still, i usually sit alone while everyone is having fun interacting in groups all the time but i try not to think about it or feel bad and focus on the subject or anything ..not my anxiety...and that works ...anxiety actually goes away and sometimes i end up talking to few classmates without any anxiety...just some short conversations...but nonetheless...
Sit alone,but don't be sad about it...people dont wanna come talk to sad looking people when there are cheerful people around..


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## lifelikeahole

Yep I hear ya. After 3 years wasted in my college and technical classes a severely worsened SAD and no friends I am finally looking into doing something else with my life.


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## mind flip

I can relate. There are 6 students in my calculus class, myself included, and the other students sit towards one side of the classroom and are always joking around with each other and talking and helping one another. I sit on the other side of the class in the back corner all by myself. No one ever talks to me. I sit right by the door too, and when they enter the classroom they walk right by me, like I'm not even there. It's quite depressing. And embarrassing. I just feel so awkward.


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## Barette

That describes my film classes. Part of the reason why I dropped out (/failed out).

My advice? Focus on the academics. I didn't, and I deeply regret it, because now I'm fairly ****ed academically.


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## Rocklover639

Yeah I can relate. These guys in my class are all close together and the outgoing
and loud one(also obnoxious and obvious attention seeker) is pretty dumb and lies a lot and yet everyone likes him. So I guess stupid+liar+loud=Master at making friends?


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## pineapple2220

Same here....I'm in my third year of university and still haven't been able to make any good friends in my classes. Everyone has someone to sit with and talk to while I'm always by myself....:/


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## IntrovertedLoner

Well, first of all, thank for making this thread/topic since I've enjoyed reading all of the posts here. Glad I'm not the only one in this situation since I don't fit it with majority of my classmates because they don't talk to me or don't care even if I approached them and when they are near towards sometimes they backstab me and say things that are not nice behind me back! I don't know why they do that... I wish their attitude it's not like that! I really can't stand those loud, obnoxious and annoying classmates of mine! I wish I had different classmates or I was in a better school, if only I am smarter to pass the entrance exam of my dream school (since I know the students there are better). So I'm stuck in this stressful college of mine full of people that I don't like... Sad to say, but it's true! My life is so miserable everyday, especially in my college! :[ :|


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## Alloh

I am also a shy and quiet girl at my school Because my old classmates are my BFF but we all got separated except for three classmates and one became my closes friend but I have this new girl classmate she like stills her that new girl was also close to me but she always talks about her crush to my friend because the have both crush on him and the already talking about love and the thing anyways I will be so happy changing school and I will tell them to my Mom! and my other old classmate also likes that guy but not doing anything bad to them (the two girls) got her like slap book or diary and kept it.JUST HATE THEM!


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## BriannaHeart

Irvy said:


> Just keep hanging in there, it can be hard but you have to start learning to make friends if you don't want to be lonely


But for people with social anxiety, that very activity of making friends is nerve wracking. It's easier said than done.


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## MusicDays8

I understand how you feel. I was always quiet and had a really hard time making friends. When I was in high school and college I didn't fit into any groups and I just sat alone. I tried to focus on school and doing well but it would have been nice to have some friends. I would like to have friends but the thought of making friends is nerve raking and exhausting.


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## Cherry 🍒 🍒

Tu Cielo said:


> I feel you. I'm taking a Metals and Jewelry making class this semester and there's a total of ten people, including myself, in the class. The majority of the class are all buddy-buddy and text each other all the time. There's only one boy in the class, and he's really quiet, probably a mixture of being shy and being the only dude. I feel like him and I don't fit in with the rest of the class since I almost never speak up and I'm not really friends with anyone in class. I'm friendly and nice of course, but I just don't connect with anyone there. All the girls always joke in class and the professor joins in with them all the time. I always feel so left out when I'm there...


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## Cherry 🍒 🍒

I also had the same feeling.It's not like I'm terrible at friendship.I know I didn't talk much but still once I get close with others I can crack jokes.But my new classmates are studious and some are too loud.Well when we get in new groups for some activities I always feel like my classmates are not that supportive they are just selfish and think about themselves.On the other hand my past friends are quite supportive. Now in pandemic if there are any group presentation I always have to do alone. I knew I can do everything but still it's feel terrible that there's is only me who isn't in any group.


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## Unforgiven17

After a total of 8 years in uni (swapped careers a couple of times) I can say for a lot of us it doesn't get any better, you just learn to cope. 

I know that may sound depressing and I'm sorry. 

I found maintaining friendship exhausting, when around most people I'm constantly worrying about saying something stupid or offensive without realising it. I also find most people two faced, they complain about someone behind their back and then they are lovely to them to their face. I've never understood how people get away with this but it seems to happen frequently even when people are considered good friends. 

Another thing I noticed was people saying negative things about complete strangers e.g look at what they are wearing.... and laughing about it. Honestly I think a lot of "normal" people are just as self conscious as us but they deal with it in a more socially acceptable way. 

I'm now in my mid 30s and finally at peace with myself. I will not join in with the negative and snide comments about people...I make an effort to be positive. 

When I changed courses or began a new one I would try to reinvent myself as someone different - friendly/outgoing but I soon realised this wasn't me and couldn't maintain those relationships. In contrast the few friends I do have accept me for me. I can say no if they ask me to go somewhere and I can also be honest and tell them why - I'm feeling low today etc... 

I guess I'm saying be true to yourself and the people that count will be drawn to you.


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## Socialmisfits

Maybe your classmates don’t fit in with you


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## Dan the man

This thread is 8 years old now but I'm sure still relevant too many. 



Unforgiven17 said:


> I found maintaining friendship exhausting, when around most people I'm constantly worrying about saying something stupid or offensive without realising it. I also find most people two faced, they complain about someone behind their back and then they are lovely to them to their face. I've never understood how people get away with this but it seems to happen frequently even when people are considered good friends.
> 
> 
> I guess I'm saying be true to yourself and the people that count will be drawn to you.


I think even among good friends they do stuff to drive each other crazy at times but not enough worth breaking up the friendship. There's always those types of people that will find the negative in anything/anyone

I like what you said about being true to yourself


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## extremly

By now the OP probably graduated... Congratz


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