# Women: What do you look for in a man?



## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

I'd be interested in getting some insight in to the mystery of the female mind. What are you looking for in a male partner?

I'm hoping to find something more than "I like honesty" -- as opposed to women who prefer liars?


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

Someone who treats me as an equal, he has to be as good to me as I am to him, is understanding of my problems, supportive of my goals in life, has similar sense of humor, interests. He must be good looking and good in bed.


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## Dolphin (Mar 24, 2004)

UltraShy said:


> "I like honesty" -- as opposed to women who prefer liars?


Actually, there are quite a few women who prefer liars - it's those women who are married to the guys that tell me that they are single. :b


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## Karla (Dec 26, 2005)

i think all girls pretty much want the same things-someone who loves them, treats them like a princess, kind, caring, funny

as far as looks and personality, that all depends on the specific person


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## SADLiath (Aug 5, 2005)

Well, lemme see.

Of course honesty is nice, but when you're my fiance, sometimes it would be better to keep your mouth shut. Like tonight, when he called me, totally stoned ... "Ya, sorry I dint call earlier. Um. I went to Mike's house an like, they had this stuff. But I coulnt call um, cuz, I dint wanna look like, stupid." Well, duh, honey. I kind of figured looking manly was the motivation. :roll All that did was annoy me more.

He can't insult my intelligence. I know what "changing the oil" entails. You don't have to describe the process in explicit detail. My future father-in-law needs to understand that.

Some women like silly teasing, but I'm not one of them. Last time my fiance made a "cute" remark about my weight, I cried. And it wasn't even remotely true ... nor did he mean it that way.

They have to like animals! No debate on that for me.

Understanding is nice, but if you don't understand, don't claim to. My fiance used to claim he understood menstrual cramps and compare it to football injuries. :sigh 

You have to be passionate about SOMETHING. I don't even really care what it is. But you can't just say "yeah, it's okay" about everything under the sun. Know what gets you excited (not sex) before she asks your hobbies and interests.

You have to show some kind of emotion. I really don't care for stoic, 'strong' men. You don't have to break down crying in the middle of "Bambi", but can you express happiness? Contentment? Do you laugh and sigh and get angry sometimes?

Good personal hygiene is also a must.

The ability and willingness to commit. I will not have someone hemming and hawing over whether I'm "the one", or asking whether it's "okay to see other people once in a while". Neither is okay. You will be dropped before you know what's happened.

I know it shouldn't bother me, but looking at other women while you are with me is not a good idea. I won't tell you what you did wrong, but believe me, you'll know it was SOMETHING. If that was one the first date, sorry, but there won't be a second.

That's all I can think of right now. Oh, intelligence is nice (but you already have that, now, don't you?).

Oh, yes, and I've been dying to say this for AGES! I keep telling myself that it's supposed to be read "ULTRA SHY", but every time I see it, I read "UL TRASHY" and wonder what UL means.


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## red_reagel (Nov 21, 2006)

Sensitivity, Kindness, Humor, someone who really LOVES me and cares about me, a good friend. Basically any good quality in the personality.


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## Lil Miss Fire (Nov 6, 2003)

Someone who respects me, my decisions, and my goals. Someone who encourages me, and motivates me. Someone who I can laugh with, and who can make me laugh even when I feel like I cant. Someone who loves me for me, and doesn't try to change me. Someone who understands that I am human and will make mistakes, and helps me to learn from them, and doesn't hold them against me. Someone who doesn't mind spending a Saturday or Sunday just lounging around in bed watching movies and cuddling. Someone who will listen to my day and just let me vent without telling me what I have done wrong, or what I could have done better, or trying to fix my problems (cause most of the time I already know, and just like to get things off my chest so they don't build up). And the biggest thing is, he must get along with my dad


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

I don't know, really.

Someone who shares my interests.
Someone who accepts my cynicism.
Someone who will not murder me in my sleep.


That's the big three, I suppose.


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## meggiehamilton (Nov 12, 2003)

Someone who is reliable and you can count on them.


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## SqueakyGibson (Nov 11, 2006)

Becky said:


> He must be good looking and good in bed.


And so I'm doomed to be alone forever...



SADLiath said:


> You have to be passionate about SOMETHING. you can't just say "yeah, it's okay" about everything under the sun.
> 
> You have to show some kind of emotion. can you express happiness? Contentment? Do you laugh and sigh and get angry sometimes?


Hmm, that's a problem for me. I'm screaming with frustration and loneliness inside, but on the outside I probably appear very emotionless and passionless. Depression also makes me unable to be passionate about anything.

I knew a thread like this could only make me feel bad.


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## GraceLikeRain (Nov 9, 2003)

*Re: re: Women: What do you look for in a man?*



SADLiath said:


> Oh, yes, and I've been dying to say this for AGES! I keep telling myself that it's supposed to be read "ULTRA SHY", but every time I see it, I read "UL TRASHY" and wonder what UL means.


:lol

Yeah, honesty is nice :b 
He has to be compassionate...willing to go out of his way to help others. I want someone who pushes me to be more compassionate and less selfish.


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## justlistening (Dec 4, 2006)

SqueakyGibson said:


> Becky said:
> 
> 
> > He must be good looking and good in bed.
> ...


Come on man, don't let the sex and the city girls rule the world. See it this way, they are doomed to ever have sex with us! Cause who wants to worry about performance in the middle of it, who even wants to feel like he's performing?


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

*Re: re: Women: What do you look for in a man?*



SADLiath said:


> He can't insult my intelligence. I know what "changing the oil" entails. You don't have to describe the process in explicit detail. My future father-in-law needs to understand that.


Yes, there's nothing more of a turn of for me. Well...maybe a few things. But that is extremely irritating.



SADLiath said:


> I know it shouldn't bother me, but looking at other women while you are with me is not a good idea. I won't tell you what you did wrong, but believe me, you'll know it was SOMETHING. If that was one the first date, sorry, but there won't be a second.


I'm undecided about this... On a first date I'm not going to tolerate it. If it's an ongoing and trusting relationship and the guy is blatantly staring and drooling over hotter girls while I'm standing right next to him, it will probably upset me to some degree, especially if he goes as far to remark something like he'd rather be with the hotter girl than me. But if it's done in a playful way that is none threatening to me then I'd let it slide. I'd probably do the same if I saw a hot guy...


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## hapa86 (Dec 17, 2006)

Someone who has a good sense of humor and can laugh at almost anything. Who is confident about who he is and what he likes. And can admit his flaws and put up with all of mine.


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## Optimistic (Nov 4, 2006)

justlistening said:


> SqueakyGibson said:
> 
> 
> > Becky said:
> ...


 :lol


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## Bon (Dec 24, 2005)

Optimistic said:


> justlistening said:
> 
> 
> > SqueakyGibson said:
> ...


Being good in bed is subjective to the person you're with. Hypothetically you could be talking with someone about a person you've both had sex with, one person may say he was great, the other person could say it's all I could do to keep from vomiting......

I enjoy reading personal ads, no cheaters, no liars, "I've been taken so many times, I can spot you a mile away" :con shouldn't this be a given, if you're a liar and a cheat are you going to announce it to the person you're wanting to get involved with.

I could be over looking this, but I didn't see any women say financial security in a man is an attraction? No, I'm not saying gold digging, I'm saying a man that makes or has the ability to make a living, that is responsible.

For me, it's attitude, the way a man carries himself, mannerism. Being treated as an equal, and that doesn't entail who makes more money. Being treated with respect, kindness, I want him to treat me like I'm worth something, valued, place me above his co-workers. Someone that is strong enough to stand up to me, yet, smart enough to know when too stay out of my way when merits.

Edit: PS.

I've read ultrashy and ultratrash before, I was here six months before I noticed it was ultra-shy.


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

If a girl knows how to achieve an orgasm by herself then the battle is pretty much won, given that they are willing to teach their partner what to do. 

Sadly, most women expect their men to be mind readers and the only way for guys to 'perform' is to have out of the ordinary size and endurance, qualities which are unfortunately out of our control. 

As always, communication is the key.


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

realspark said:


> Being treated as an equal, and that doesn't entail who makes more money. Being treated with respect, kindness, I want him to treat me like I'm worth something, valued, place me above his co-workers.


This is something i don't understand. Respect is earned, not given. This is why a lot of guys go out of their way to 'prove' their worth among themselves, sometimes to inane extends. Any woman who expects their man to give them respect when unwarranted shouldn't complain when they get threated as a trophy instead...


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## Optimistic (Nov 4, 2006)

realspark said:


> Being good in bed is subjective to the person you're with. Hypothetically you could be talking with someone about a person you've both had sex with, one person may say he was great, the other person could say it's all I could do to keep from vomiting......


What if he is lousy in bed (whatever that really means) and yet has all or most of the other qualities a woman is seeking in an SO? I'm asking this in general, not just you.


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## Bon (Dec 24, 2005)

Lyric Suite said:


> realspark said:
> 
> 
> > Being treated as an equal, and that doesn't entail who makes more money. Being treated with respect, kindness, I want him to treat me like I'm worth something, valued, place me above his co-workers.
> ...


So, we should leave your butts the first time you step out of line, would this earn respect? What is unwarranted respect? What earns a man's respect?

To a large degree you're correct, respect is earned, there is also a certain respect when you walk into a relationship, whether this be personal or business, would you treat your bank manager with distain, would you treat your doctor as a trophy? What have they done to earn your respect? If you ask a women out, do you have respect for her, or does she have to earn it?


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## Bon (Dec 24, 2005)

*Re: re: Women: What do you look for in a man?*



Lyric Suite said:


> If a girl knows how to achieve an orgasm by herself then the battle is pretty much won, given that they are willing to teach their partner what to do.
> 
> Sadly, most women expect their men to be mind readers and the only way for guys to 'perform' is to have out of the ordinary size and endurance, qualities which are unfortunately out of our control.
> 
> As always, communication is the key.


How do you know what most women expect? "Out of the ordinary size" have you read the threads devoted to this, they have stated the opposite.

Endurance is out of a man's control? Or is that an excuse? I always thought that men had some control over their endurance. Practice makes perfect.


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## Bon (Dec 24, 2005)

Optimistic said:


> realspark said:
> 
> 
> > Being good in bed is subjective to the person you're with. Hypothetically you could be talking with someone about a person you've both had sex with, one person may say he was great, the other person could say it's all I could do to keep from vomiting......
> ...


Define lousy;-) For me.........I think over time things get better.......As long as there is chemistry and the other person is willing to compromise as I would be.

I can tell you, I had met the perfect man for me, I truly cared about him, he was wonderful, great.........But, there was NO chemistry there, NONE. That couldn't be over-come, he's now married, the women has an awesome man, and relationship;-)


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

realspark said:


> So, we should leave your butts the first time you step out of line, would this earn respect? What is unwarranted respect? What earns a man's respect?
> 
> To a large degree you're correct, respect is earned, there is also a certain respect when you walk into a relationship, whether this be personal or business, would you treat your bank manager with distain, would you treat your doctor as a trophy? What have they done to earn your respect? If you ask a women out, do you have respect for her, or does she have to earn it?


Guys prize achievement or great personal qualities. Most women seem to have a very distorted conception of male respect and they seem to confuse achievement with status. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Being a CEO of a great corporation or being an important surgeon means squad to us. Being an incredibly skilled CEO or a god with a scalpel is everything. This in a way extends to personality traits, as well.

Of course, there is a difference between showing respect or actually admiring a person. The first it's mandatory and it's merely a sign of good manners (and seriously, who doesn't do this in the first place? Any woman who asks specifically to be treated with respect is obviously dating the wrong people), the second needs to be earned. There's no way in hell a man is going to threat you as an _equal_ and respect you for who you are unless your are actually worthy...


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

realspark said:


> How do you know what most women expect? "Out of the ordinary size" have you read the threads devoted to this, they have stated the opposite.


I've read threads devoted to this, on sex web sites. The general agreement is that size DOES matter, particularly when it comes to girth.



realspark said:


> Endurance is out of a man's control? Or is that an excuse? I always thought that men had some control over their endurance. Practice makes perfect.


Tell that to those who suffer from premature ejaculation. If it was as easy as that, why do you think so many men worry about it? You can practice some form of control but it's only going to help so much. Everybody would love to become the hour long guy but very few can ever hope to last that much and those who do were able to do so right off the bat.


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

Optimistic said:


> What if he is lousy in bed (whatever that really means) and yet has all or most of the other qualities a woman is seeking in an SO? I'm asking this in general, not just you.


I think a lot of men worry about being good at bed more then women do. Really, it can't be that hard to give somebody an orgasm, even if you are a poor performer, and intercourse is not the only way to satisfy a woman any how.

My guess most women would trade a great sex life for a great relationship in a heart bit. The problem is that a great relationship involves a good deal of attraction...


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

stable, secure in himself
optimistic, appreciates life
healthy, physically and mentally
has good parents and a warm family
enjoys hobbies and leisure activities (movies, sports, outdoors, music...anything!)
I also appreciate personality, quirkiness, and individuality

I'm not fond of "corny" romantic gestures, done for the sake of winning my approval (i.e. shouting from the roof tops, naming a tree after me, lavishing me with balloons and roses). That stuff embarrasses me. :blush 

I'm a simple person...if we share a meal together or have quality time, I'm happy with that. :boogie


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## Mehitabel (Oct 13, 2006)

Intelligence, individuality, thinks about something instead of just accepting what they're told, good taste in music (by which I mean at least somewhat similar to mine), romantic and chivalrous, honest, funny, friendly, open-minded...

And of course I have to be physically attracted to him, but if he possesses these qualities, I'll most likely find him attractive. It's all about personlity for me.

I actually didn't ever really _look_ for a guy. I just happened to fall in love with one, and these are some the things that make me love him.


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## bent (Aug 4, 2005)

if inanities like treats me as an equal were all that mattered we'd all be happy. as Becky and REalspark quite candidly mention, looks and money are also major factors. I would say that how you treat the woman is frankly an afterthought. Additionally, it appears that if you're short it won't be relevant anyway because no one with any options and real decision making circumstances will consider you to begin with. i get the impression that the answer is simple...women like guys who have things going for them. that appears to mean that they're tall and led lives of male success and therefor now have fewer insecurities. only at that point does it matter how they treat the woman. if you're not tall and don't have a memory bank and life story that leads to male security then you're basically not a man to most women. most women will compromise on the security (psych issues) part before compromising on the height since that would mean a loss of social status which is apparently all important to the sensitivities of the feminine mind.

of course, there are many women who appear not to care about height (yay) who i try to reach out to...often in vain, lol.


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## slurpazillia (Nov 18, 2005)

---


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## OneSADClown (Apr 14, 2004)

*Re: re: Women: What do you look for in a man?*



whiteclouds said:


> stable, secure in himself
> optimistic, appreciates life
> healthy, physically and mentally


you do know you've just discarded most of us guys on here (at least, with those first two points)?

i know that's what women look for, generally.. but is there hope for the insecure and pessimistic guys out there or do we absolutely have to change? i mean, i'm in a relationship with this girl, and she knows how insecure and shy i am.. but is she with me with the hopes i'll eventually change or can she accept me for who i am? so far, she's done just that, but i can't help but feel she's just waiting for me to change.. :fall


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## SADLiath (Aug 5, 2005)

bent said:


> if inanities like treats me as an equal were all that mattered we'd all be happy. as Becky and REalspark quite candidly mention, looks and money are also major factors. I would say that how you treat the woman is frankly an afterthought. Additionally, it appears that if you're short it won't be relevant anyway because no one with any options and real decision making circumstances will consider you to begin with. i get the impression that the answer is simple...women like guys who have things going for them. that appears to mean that they're tall and led lives of male success and therefor now have fewer insecurities. only at that point does it matter how they treat the woman. if you're not tall and don't have a memory bank and life story that leads to male security then you're basically not a man to most women. most women will compromise on the security (psych issues) part before compromising on the height since that would mean a loss of social status which is apparently all important to the sensitivities of the feminine mind.
> 
> of course, there are many women who appear not to care about height (yay) who i try to reach out to...often in vain, lol.


I am getting really upset over all this talk of women falling over themselves to get a tall guy. Tell that to my fiance.

Sure he's almost a foot taller than me, but that's still only 5'5". I also dated a guy who was 6'4". Height matters virtually not at all. If you're going after mindless b*tchy women who only care about social status and being rich, of course you're going to get burned sooner or later, but it has nothing to do with your height.

LOOKS yes (as in, if someone is hideously ugly, of course they're not going to get women's numbers at bars) and MONEY yes (if you can't afford to buy her a drink or have a telephone to call her from, how well can you really do on your pickup attempts?), but being filthy rich plus tall, dark, and ridiculously handsome are not prerequisites. If you're average-looking and tall enough for me to see you, you're on a level playing field with everyone else out there. Impress me with your personality. I'll try to do the same.

If you want a mindless b*tchy woman, sure. Just get rich and stretch yourself. They'll line up.


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## SADLiath (Aug 5, 2005)

*Re: re: Women: What do you look for in a man?*



OneSADClown said:


> i know that's what women look for, generally.. but is there hope for the insecure and pessimistic guys out there or do we absolutely have to change? i mean, i'm in a relationship with this girl, and she knows how insecure and shy i am.. but is she with me with the hopes i'll eventually change or can she accept me for who i am? so far, she's done just that, but i can't help but feel she's just waiting for me to change.. :fall


Getting into the relationship in the first place is half the battle. If she's dating you as-is, she KNOWS that's how you are, as you said. There's something she likes about you. As far as changing, of course she's expecting you to GROW (try to improve yourself, learn from experiences, etc) but most everyone does that, even us. But I doubt she's going into this expecting you to change. Yes, there are people out there (men AND women both) who try to change their partners. Most don't.

There is a pretty big difference. I mean, if you start dating someone when you're 20 and you're acting exactly the same way when you're 60, that might bug them. Because we're supposed to learn and grow as people. Something as integral to your personality as shyness or whatever might stay with you for a lifetime, but if you show signs of attempting to better yourself and adapting to different life situations, like everyone should, she'll be okay. She's already showing that she accepts you as you are.


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

*Re: re: Women: What do you look for in a man?*



SADLiath said:


> Height matters virtually not at all. If you're going after mindless b*tchy women who only care about social status and being rich, of course you're going to get burned sooner or later, but it has nothing to do with your height.


 Yeah, I understand your frustratoin but I don't know if i agree with this. I may be an inexperienced loser lol) but the more I observe the more I discover there are plenty of men and women who do use height as a credential in deciding whether or not to pursue someone. It seems it happens more often then I first realized so I wouldn't go as far to say it has nothing to do with height. But yes, it isn't always the deciding factor. If someone is uneasy about being too tall or too short and get turned down by other people chances are the first thought going through their mind is it happened because of their height while most likely that may not even be the case.

Life's short and squabbling over a few centimeters is kinda petty. Being tall doesn't automatically make someone a good person, IMO. Anyway, I hope I didn't go too offtopic there.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

Slurpavillia said:


> What if the guy was shouting from a rooftop something genuine and sweet huh?


Isn't everything they shout from rooftops genuine and sweet? That's the whole point of rooftop shouting. LOL. But wouldn't the mood seem more exciting if he whispered those same words into his lover's ear? Not everything has to be bold and grand, in order to be great.



OneSADClown said:


> i know that's what women look for, generally.. but is there hope for the insecure and pessimistic guys out there or do we absolutely have to change?


You've already won yourself a girlfriend, which to me, sounds like a beacon of hope for all the self-described "insecure" men out there. I believe there's always hope, as people favor different "types". I've heard people mention both on SAS and in real life, that they would prefer a partner who is "shy" and "anxious". Some folks even go so far as to specify a "mentally ill" person as their dream date. For every "type" of person on earth, there's a group of people who consider them irresistibly sexy. Just got to keep your eyes and ears open for hints. Not every woman wants the same thing.

Change yourself only if you want to change. If you are suffering from severe depression and anxiety, maybe you'd want to change, not necessarily for the girl, but just to ease your suffering and improve your quality of life.


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

*Re: re: Women: What do you look for in a man?*



bent said:


> if inanities like treats me as an equal were all that mattered we'd all be happy. as Becky and REalspark quite candidly mention, looks and money are also major factors. I would say that how you treat the woman is frankly an afterthought. Additionally, it appears that if you're short it won't be relevant anyway because no one with any options and real decision making circumstances will consider you to begin with. i get the impression that the answer is simple...women like guys who have things going for them. that appears to mean that they're tall and led lives of male success and therefor now have fewer insecurities. only at that point does it matter how they treat the woman. if you're not tall and don't have a memory bank and life story that leads to male security then you're basically not a man to most women. most women will compromise on the security (psych issues) part before compromising on the height since that would mean a loss of social status which is apparently all important to the sensitivities of the feminine mind.
> 
> of course, there are many women who appear not to care about height (yay) who i try to reach out to...often in vain, lol.


 Too many generalizations makes my head hurt. :lol


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

*Re: re: Women: What do you look for in a man?*



OneSADClown said:


> whiteclouds said:
> 
> 
> > stable, secure in himself
> ...


If I wrote up a wish list for an unstable, insecure man who despises life (the opposite of what I wrote above), I think it might reflect poorly on me, as a person.

I didn't mean any offense to the SAS guys. I was just answering the question posed by the OP, and I wasn't targeting any person or group for insult.


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## Nae (Nov 10, 2003)

*Re: re: Women: What do you look for in a man?*



whiteclouds said:


> OneSADClown said:
> 
> 
> > whiteclouds said:
> ...


I'm an unstable, insecure guy who despises life and I feel personally insulted by your original post. :|


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## Lyric Suite (Mar 16, 2006)

*Re: re: Women: What do you look for in a man?*



Nae said:


> I'm an unstable, insecure guy who despises life and I feel personally insulted by your original post. :|


You are insulted because of her stating a personal preference?


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## Nae (Nov 10, 2003)

*Re: re: Women: What do you look for in a man?*



Lyric Suite said:


> Nae said:
> 
> 
> > I'm an unstable, insecure guy who despises life and I feel personally insulted by your original post. :|
> ...


Nah, it was just a stupid joke.


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## Optimistic (Nov 4, 2006)

*Re: re: Women: What do you look for in a man?*



whiteclouds said:


> For every "type" of person on earth, there's a group of people who consider them irresistibly sexy. Just got to keep your eyes and ears open for hints. Not every woman wants the same thing.


Yes, even psychopaths. :um


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## Bon (Dec 24, 2005)

*Re: re: Women: What do you look for in a man?*



Optimistic said:


> whiteclouds said:
> 
> 
> > For every "type" of person on earth, there's a group of people who consider them irresistibly sexy. Just got to keep your eyes and ears open for hints. Not every woman wants the same thing.
> ...


Blabber mouth! You said you wouldn't tell, I only sent Bundy ten letters, you made a moutain out of a mole hill;-)

Really...........This is so true, the men on death row (women too I imagine) get marriage proposals, I read even Peterson was getting fan mail :hide


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## slurpazillia (Nov 18, 2005)

*Re: re: Women: What do you look for in a man?*

---


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## red_reagel (Nov 21, 2006)

I wanna know what guys look for in women


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## SADLiath (Aug 5, 2005)

red_reagel said:


> I wanna know what guys look for in women


Me, too. I have a fiance and don't even understand! Sometimes he says it's one trait, other times he says it's another characteristic that's most attractive. Sometimes he says it's just "everything put together". I guess it depends on how he feels when I ask.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

red_reagel said:


> I wanna know what guys look for in women


Maybe somebody should start a thread about it. I'm sure the ladies are very interested. :yes


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## Meee (Oct 24, 2005)

> I wanna know what guys look for in women


I couldn't possibly specify what it is that i 'look for' in women. It's just something.. and if it's there i'm attracted to her, if it's not, i'm not. I don't know what 'it' is, so this isn't going to help you much.

I mean, at the end of day i could write out a list of things i'd like in a women, but if a girl turned up with all of them it's no guarantee i'd like her. Or maybe i just don't know what i want. Most people don't know what they really want anyway 

Saying that, i'd definitely want a girl to share at least some of my interests. I think most everyone wants someone they have something in common with though, unless they get into a relationship based purely on physical attraction.


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

In order:

accepts me as i am
likes to spend alot of time with me
inexperienced
has some of the same interests as me
clean shaven
pessimistic

Anything else and even the last 2 there is a bonus


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

I think what women want in a man is a person who makes them feel secure, and vibes well with them. 
For security, it means a guy who is willing to stand up for her, a guy who can talk to her to make her feel like things are going to be okay, and financial security. Status also helps.
Vibing means being able to connect with someone, and share laughs with.


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