# Could you leave your mom or dad or both to move somewhere far away?



## CaptainPeanuts (Oct 29, 2015)

Hi all,
This post is for those who are thinking about it, or have done it already. I myself am close to my mom, really close, though she says she supports me if I move away somewhere. I'm thinking about it and wondering if anyone here has done the same and how did you deal with it?. 

I'll probably be calling her everyday to see how ehes doing, like I did before, this is not the first time I've moved away to the big city.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Not really. I have tried a couple of times and both times it was a complete mess that ended with me begging them to come back (and all of the emotional baggage that entails).


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## shyshisho (Apr 19, 2009)

My family has been my only source of relationship over the years so I regret that education and career have taken me so far away from them.


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## Socialmisfits (May 14, 2021)

I don’t know, hardly been a day without them


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## zonebox (Oct 22, 2012)

I moved from Maine to Florida. It wasn't to get away from them, but I was comfortable with living a considerable distance from them. After we moved, they would come down and visit us, and fell in love with the state and how affordable it is and moved here as well 🤣

It is kind of cool in a lot of ways, but I do miss having a place to go visit and stay for a few weeks in Maine. I would love to have a second house in New England, it is such a gorgeous place to live and I miss all of the wilderness in Maine, as well as the seasons.


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## JH1983 (Nov 14, 2013)

It's one of the things keeping me here. My dad passed away in 2014 and I've regretted not spending more time with him when he was alive. I'm pretty close to my mom and don't want to miss out on spending time with her.


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## Canadian Brotha (Jan 23, 2009)

I lived away from all of my fam for a year & I had no trouble with it at all, didn’t really talk to them much while I was gone too. It really just depends how close you are, for me, being away from my fam doesn’t make me bat an eye whatsoever. I’d leave tomorrow if I could afford it without thinking twice about the fact they’d be far away


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

I couldn't move far away, but I don't think it has much to do with my parents (a little maybe). There's too much risk in moving somewhere that I can't properly scout and understand, and I'm not a risk taker, that's just totally antithetical to my personality. What if I moved somewhere and then discovered I can't tolerate the winters there, or they have bug infestation issues I don't know about, or the roads stress me out too much, or the noise is worse than I expected, etc? I suppose if I were rich enough to afford making a mistake and correcting it the equation could be different.

But I only see my parents on holidays despite living 15 miles from them.


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## Tetragammon (Jun 2, 2015)

Nope, I can't leave my mom, especially now that dad is gone. Even if I do sometimes dream of actually getting out on my own and living my own life. The only way that would happen is if my mom kicked me out. And if she didn't do that when I left her church, I don't think she'll do it for anything. Although who knows, I could be wrong; I have trouble trusting even my own parents.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

_Since I have a rather toxic relationship with mine, and a rather distant relationship with the rest of my family, this is probably not a helpful & relatable answer._
_
I first did when I transferred colleges to another region. I moved with an aunt who lived there. She was single and she was very rarely home due to her profession. She was also very untalkative & carefree & a workaholic. So she left me to myself most of the time. Which was great for me, since I had to do everything myself, make all of my decisions for myself etc. While she paid for nearly everything. It was a great situation. It did get lonely most of the times, but lonely drastically was better than the constant emotional stress and random bouts of temper tantrums I had from my mom.
_
_If you're able to do so to be on your own, it's probably a good idea to just move away. With the digital age, it is relatively easy to keep staying in touch even if you live faraway from your family members._


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## Hadara (Apr 20, 2020)

I had a very toxic relationship with my family, so when I left them two years ago, I felt I was finally free from their toxic words. 

I left my home country in order to stay away from them forever and I'm no way going back no matter back. Leaving them was my best decision so far. 

While I don't hate my dad, I know he's not good for me. Contrary to what he thinks and what my family also wants, I am not a substitute wife for him (because my mom died a while ago). Leaving house made me realize I also have the right to decide if I want to get married or not and if I get married, that I do it with one I can truly love and that loves me as well.


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## Myosr (Apr 8, 2016)

No, I've always found it very difficult to interact with people and it makes navigating the world almost impossible for me without someone occasionally helping me do things. My parents' health has been deteriorating this past year or so though, so I'm not sure what will happen in the future.


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## CaptainPeanuts (Oct 29, 2015)

The way I look at it is my parents arent going to be around forever and eventually I'll have to take care of myself anyways. I might as well live close to my friend in the big city and if I ever need anything I'll just contact him, we are like brothers. The only thing I can't achieve in a small town is a girlfriend and in the big city that's very achievable.


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## Fever Dream (Aug 18, 2015)

Yes, but since they've both been dead for years it makes it rather easy.


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## RagnarLothbrok (Dec 16, 2016)

I couldn't because they're both ill but I plan to move out to be nearby within the next two years.


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## CNikki (Aug 9, 2013)

Not too far away as I have other obligations involving family, unless if possible that they too can relocate (which is likely not any time soon). My best advice is if you decide to move far then make sure you're ready not only financially but also emotionally/psychologically, as the latter can potentially create a shock.


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## either/or (Apr 27, 2020)

This is a tough question for me to answer. On the one hand I feel like everyone should be free to live their lives and pursue their own destiny and dreams however they want to. On the other, I feel like you do have a responsibility to your family as they get older or if they are sick and can't take care of themselves.

I'm unlikely to ever be married or have kids so for me I know I will probably face old age alone, come what may I guess. It is what it is, I'll have to deal with it when I get there. But most people who have kids expect them to be around to help out when they get older. So I don't know. The question has never seriously come up for me because I've never moved out of state. Maybe I will at some point.

I guess I feel like parents should not expect their kids to be around to take care of them as they age. They may have their own kids to take care of and also people should be free to explore the world and live wherever they want to.


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## NoCat57 (Oct 31, 2021)

CaptainPeanuts said:


> Hi all,
> This post is for those who are thinking about it, or have done it already. I myself am close to my mom, really close, though she says she supports me if I move away somewhere. I'm thinking about it and wondering if anyone here has done the same and how did you deal with it?.
> 
> I'll probably be calling her everyday to see how ehes doing, like I did before, this is not the first time I've moved away to the big city.


 I've been thinking about it. I'm wanting to move up north, away from the densely populated city I'm in. Too many memories here. Too much holding me back from being happy. My parents are pretty much the only adults in my life so it would be hard, yeah.


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## aqwsderf (Aug 16, 2013)

No, wherever I go they will come with


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