# I'm obsessed with the fact that I'm not getting laid



## comfort (May 31, 2009)

I'm 21 and I want to have sex already. I find that I am obsessed with it. I want to know, is there anything I can do to cope with the reality that I am not getting laid at all? I notice that because things are this way, I have become extremely irritable and also lost interest in many things, because in this area I feel so unfulfilled.


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## Grimsey (Apr 21, 2012)

The emotional connection of sex is much more fulfilling than the physical side of it. If your obsession is based on a need to fit in, you should realize that the vast majority of guys exaggerate the physical aspect of their relationships. The media also exaggerates the hell out of things. Don't use either as benchmarks.

And frankly, few (if any) people actually feel "fulfilled" in their sexual experiences. If you have sex you might have a momentary ego boost, but will very likely go back to feeling the same way shortly after.


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## MrGilligan (Apr 29, 2012)

I'm sure it will happen eventually... Just keep looking for the right person.


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## Grimsey (Apr 21, 2012)

Also keep this in mind: You are much more likely to find someone when you Aren't looking, and when sex is the least of your concerns.

Edit: Well, unless you pay for it. But seriously.. ew.


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## Race Car Driver (Apr 25, 2012)

Grimsey said:


> Also keep this in mind: You are much more likely to find someone when you Aren't looking, and when sex is the least of your concerns.
> .


^ Very true words. And while you're waiting, look at the bright side: at least you're not out getting STD's or unplanned pregnancies like many young people these days. Trust me, as someone who was having sex when I was your age (even though I was extremely careful), if you think you have anxiety now, wait til your girlfriend tells you she's late. You end up having anxiety to the tenth degree nonstop for a couple weeks until she tells you it was a false alarm, or until you finally break down and buy a pregnancy test and it comes back negative.

And like Grimsey said, it's more about the emotional connection that the physical aspect of sex. In fact, go back and re-read his first post. Everything he said is true.


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## Luka92 (Dec 13, 2011)

I know how it feels. Involuntary celibacy really sucks.


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## Knowbody (Jul 5, 2011)

I felt the same way at one point, I once saw a pregnant roach and thought to myself ...

_"wow, even this stupid brain dead roach is getting laid and I'm not"_

Mice, Squirrels, cats and all types of other animals are out there having routine orgies while I can't even get none whatsoever. I'm dead serious, I actually envied roaches sex lives, that's how bad it was for me. I killed the pregnant roach out of jealously.

Eventually I evolved into an A-sexual and got over it though. It was easy for me to do it because I never actually put any effort into having sex anyway, plus having SAD helped also.

If you don't get over it, you WILL go crazy. I know a few people who have.


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## Aries33 (Sep 22, 2011)

I know what you mean i lose interest in many things because i dont have sex , its like your normal if you have sex and when you dont your not, have you tried dating sites just recently i met a girl on there that wanted to meet up with me, i didn't go for it because i have social anxiety majoraly and i worry about sexual things about myself private stuff things i cant talk about unless i have surgery done and the other fact that shes only 20 years old and im 34, my niece is her age, so yer check out those sites **** looking up sleezy porn sites or going to an escort agency ( unless your really deperate) you rather be getting it free then to be paying for it, haha just last night i had a dream that i was on a bus going to the gentlemens club


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## kpx0 (Mar 12, 2012)

Grimsey said:


> Also keep this in mind: You are much more likely to find someone when you Aren't looking, and when sex is the least of your concerns.


That's like telling someone that they can beat their anxiety more easily if they just stop being anxious.


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## Noway (May 3, 2012)

(i posted this on another thred but will help u 2)
Hahaha u kidding , im 30 years old and still never had a girlfriend or (sex) i have never been intimate in any way with other women not even a hug. But u get used it, not exactly used to but u dont care, u cant do anything or u dont want to do anything so its cool . Oh just as an advice , start visiting women that u pay them for sex. As chef on southpark said. u dont play the prostitute to have sex with u, u pay her to leave after







just kidding , well trust me prostetutes and sex will make your self estem higher and "train" u so when u find a girlfriend. Peace


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## Grimsey (Apr 21, 2012)

I would like to hear firsthand from someone who has actually hired an escort. My suspicion is that it's a cold and unfulfilling experience, that prostitutes are dead and exploited, and that most of them have every STI in the book (condoms don't protect against everything). But hey, I could be wrong.



> That's like telling someone that they can beat their anxiety more easily if they just stop being anxious.


I don't mean that a guy won't first have to go through a process of psychological anguish and rationalization. But the hard fact is that women won't be swooning over you if you appear desperate. Instead, try and give them reasons to trust and respect you.


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## wxolue (Nov 26, 2008)

I'm 20 and got laid when I was 19 just about a month ago. I never thought about it before then. It got to me sometimes that I hadn't been laid, but in general I knew it would come in time, and that sex in general really wasn't a big deal.

I was right. Nothing happened when I had sex. It was fun, and I enjoyed it, but nothing life changing happened, it wasn't SO much more amazing than mastrubation, and it was gone as quick as it had come.

I don't know what you expect to get out of sex, but you're probably blowing it out of proportion.


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## Noll (Mar 29, 2011)

kpx0 said:


> That's like telling someone that they can beat their anxiety more easily if they just stop being anxious.


No, it isn't.


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## rgrwng (Aug 25, 2011)

28 and i still have not gotten past the friend hugs. maybe i need more brighter plumage.

i don't think it is the end of the world if it never happens - maybe stuff like being laid happens naturally. i think about it all day, everyday also, but i just tell myself that i am helping myself in the long run, because once you catch something, it may not be very reversible, causing more stress than needed.


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## kpx0 (Mar 12, 2012)

ObamaGoesPostal said:


> No, it isn't.


Being desperate is a state, not a behavior. I agree that you should of course try as much as possible not to appear desperate, but if you are desperate, then you are desperate. It's a state, just like being hungry. The only way you can stop being hungry is to eat. Of course you can hide the fact that you're hungry to the outside world, but you still are hungry.


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## KiwiGirl (Nov 13, 2011)

Grimsey said:


> Also keep this in mind: You are much more likely to find someone when you Aren't looking, and when sex is the least of your concerns.
> 
> Edit: Well, unless you pay for it. But seriously.. ew.


Agreed


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## KiwiGirl (Nov 13, 2011)

Your only 21...be patient it will come.


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## comfort (May 31, 2009)

Honestly, it's probably not only the lack of sex itself. It's the fact that it makes me feel worthless that Im not capable of getting it. Also, for those of you who are saying "Be patient. It will come." That's just super naive. Why don't you just tell me "Why worry when you can be happy?"


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## Invisigirl (Oct 11, 2011)

Why worry when you can be happy? 

The lack of sex is a result of social anxiety, not because you're worthless. You shouldn't measure your self-worth by this one thing. 

You say you've lost interest in things, but I think it's a better idea to gain those interests back. It would be good to have something enjoyable to focus on to take your mind off the obsession. I know how much it sucks because I feel the same way, but I find that I don't think about it at all when I'm busy.


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## Noll (Mar 29, 2011)

kpx0 said:


> Being desperate is a state, not a behavior. I agree that you should of course try as much as possible not to appear desperate, but if you are desperate, then you are desperate. It's a state, just like being hungry. The only way you can stop being hungry is to eat. Of course you can hide the fact that you're hungry to the outside world, but you still are hungry.


I agree. 

Why is being desperate such a turn-off anyways?


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## Peter Attis (Aug 31, 2009)

Grimsey said:


> Also keep this in mind: You are much more likely to find someone when you Aren't looking


Please don't listen to this.

Or apply this to any other aspect of your life.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

comfort said:


> I'm 21 and I want to have sex already. I find that I am obsessed with it. I want to know, is there anything I can do to cope with the reality that I am not getting laid at all? I notice that because things are this way, I have become extremely irritable and also lost interest in many things, because in this area I feel so unfulfilled.


 I know this probably won't help but having sex isn't something that is going to magically make everything OK.

You notice there are a lot of stupid people walking around who have sex every day. There's more to life than how many times you get laid. Just use your hand when you have to and don't worry about it so much.


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## bottleofblues (Aug 6, 2008)

KiwiGirl said:


> Your only 21...be patient it will come.


 A psychologist i saw years ago said the same thing. I'm gonna be 34 in 15 days and it still hasn't happened. And believe me i've tried.


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## bottleofblues (Aug 6, 2008)

Grimsey said:


> I would like to hear firsthand from someone who has actually hired an escort. My suspicion is that it's a cold and unfulfilling experience, that prostitutes are dead and exploited, and that most of them have every STI in the book (condoms don't protect against everything). But hey, I could be wrong.


I found sleeping with prostitutes to be a very beneficial thing, i was glad to have finally lost my virginity and the whole thing actually boosted my self esteem a bit so that if i do finally ever manage to attract a partner (god that would be a miracle) i will feel more comfortable in going to bed with her.



Grimsey said:


> But the hard fact is that women won't be swooning over you if you appear desperate. Instead, try and give them reasons to trust and respect you.


Very true i like this.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

bottleofblues said:


> A psychologist i saw years ago said the same thing. I'm gonna be 34 in 15 days and it still hasn't happened. And believe me i've tried.


 Maybe he/she should have said that if it's going to come, it will. You can be proactive and try to get laid but it still might not happen. For some people, the problem is not being brave enough to actually initiate contact with females and try to date them. If that's your only problem, you will probably have better luck if you just try. But if there's something about you (some kind of vibe) the women just don't dig, you're still not gonna have much luck even if you are more assertive. In fact that might even just turn them off more.

I still think the best thing you can do for yourself is not to stress too much about it. Learn how to live with it and not let it bother you. Then you can start to contemplate the question of how to improve your odds of getting laid.


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## Koloz (Nov 11, 2011)

I don't get what people mean when they say it will come. Get a prostitute.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

comfort said:


> I'm 21 and I want to have sex already. I find that I am obsessed with it. I want to know, is there anything I can do to cope with the reality that I am not getting laid at all? I notice that because things are this way, I have become extremely irritable and also lost interest in many things, because in this area I feel so unfulfilled.


If there is that much of an obsession, then it is probably a good idea that you not pursue any kind of activity.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

Kolozenski said:


> I don't get what people mean when they say it will come. Get a prostitute.


 Not always easy. And there are risks and disadvantages. If you don't want an STD, you have to use a condom. If you use a condom, sex is just pointless. In many places, you can be arrested for solicitation which will be great for your SA and your reputation. Etc.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

I feel ya, OP. It used to not bother me so much, but over the past four years I've been craving sex more and more. I don't think it'll be long before I break down and just hire a prostitute out of desperation. I'de be tempted to do it now if I had the money and assurity that I wouldn't get in trouble with the law. But people always say it's a bad decision, you'll regret it, STD's, yada yada...and deep down I know they're right...but idk what else to do. I can't ignore my sex drive anymore and I don't believe it's healthy to anyway.


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## KramersHalfSister (May 3, 2012)

Sex is overrated. Yes, I know that doesn't help you to hear that but it's true. I had sex for the first time when I was 19 and afterwards all I could think was "that was it". I know you're thinking "well at least you've had it" but you're not missing anything THAT great. I have more fun masturbating and watching porn when I'm frisky and I'm so serious when I say that. Are you thinking that perhaps you'll be emotionally fulfilled after having sex or would it be purely for physical satisfaction?


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

KramersHalfSister said:


> Sex is overrated.


 Sex isn't overrated. Sex with other people is overrated.

Masturbation rules.

I actually lost my virginity many, many years ago but the first person I had sex with was someone I was extremely comfortable and compatible with. The first time I had sex with a stranger, I thought to myself "Gosh, that was......BAD! Is this what people are making such a fuss over?"

Sex can be great if you find someone who is absolutely perfect for you. Guess how easy that is? I lost my zest for sex with other people shortly thereafter and have not been all that keen on ever doing it again since.


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## kpx0 (Mar 12, 2012)

Invisigirl said:


> Why worry when you can be happy?


That's what I keep telling the IRS. They just don't seem to get it :/


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## kpx0 (Mar 12, 2012)

Peter Attis said:


> Please don't listen to this.
> 
> Or apply this to any other aspect of your life.


Agreed, that is the worst bull**** anyone's ever said. Like things just automatically happen without actively trying to solve your problems. They don't. Especially not when you suffer from anxiety and tends to keep yourself isolated from others. Then it definitely doesn't help to become less focused on the problems at hand.


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## kpx0 (Mar 12, 2012)

KramersHalfSister said:


> Sex is overrated. Yes, I know that doesn't help you to hear that but it's true. I had sex for the first time when I was 19 and afterwards all I could think was "that was it".


Yeah well, eating is kinda overrated too. I often don't feel that satisfied after I've been eating. Often after finishing a meal I'll just think "That was it?" I think I'm gonna send a letter to UNICEF and tell them that they don't really have to waste their time sending all that food down to Africa. I mean they aren't really missing out on anything anyway. It's really overrated.


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## Koolio (Feb 25, 2012)

^Sex does not = food...


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## KramersHalfSister (May 3, 2012)

kpx0 said:


> Yeah well, eating is kinda overrated too. I often don't feel that satisfied after I've been eating. Often after finishing a meal I'll just think "That was it?" I think I'm gonna send a letter to UNICEF and tell them that they don't really have to waste their time sending all that food down to Africa. I mean they aren't really missing out on anything anyway. It's really overrated.


Geez, sorry for trying to be honest. I'll let you crawl back into your garbage can Oscar the Grouch and take that snarky sarcasm with you. Say what's up to Slimey for me :teeth


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## KramersHalfSister (May 3, 2012)

PickleNose said:


> Sex isn't overrated. Sex with other people is overrated.
> 
> Masturbation rules.
> 
> ...


Yeah, that's what I was saying. Masturbation is awesome. I have complete control over that experience and my body so I never get let down lol. I believe that sex could be fulfilling with the right person too because the emotional chemistry would add fire to the physical but meh. I haven't found that yet either. I'm not giving up on finding someone to have incredible mindblowing sex with. It's just not high on my list of priorities.


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## Luka92 (Dec 13, 2011)

Like I said in another thread, I was thinking about hiring a prostitute because of my sexual frustration. But the escort service is way too expensive, and I can't find any brothel here (street prostitutes are not an option for me).


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## jonny neurotic (Jan 20, 2011)

KramersHalfSister said:


> I had sex for the first time when I was 19 and afterwards all I could think was "that was it".


You obviously weren't doing it properly.

LOL


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## KramersHalfSister (May 3, 2012)

jonny neurotic said:


> You obviously weren't doing it properly.
> 
> LOL


Or maybe it was the guy that I lost my virginity to that sucked? If he lasted all of four minutes I wasn't the one with the problem :roll


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## Sickseed (Jun 4, 2004)

Extroverts are always in relationships and to an SA Introvert appear to be always having sex, BUT, They need to be with another person to think, to feel happy, to feel healthy and to become energized. That's what a relationship is to them and sex is just something that happens when there together, really drunk or for example, build themselves up to it with big night out dinner movies $$$. They also cannot masturbate they cannot get sexual arousal of the genitals unless they are with someone else another extrovert, even if it means becoming gay to get a relationship. :afr

Introverts have a vast hyper visual realistic internal reality or an abnormal psychic visually creative consciousness! An internal world of arousal and fantasy they can lie there in bed and think of a perfect fantasy and masturbate any time they feel like it so the need for a relationship does not really become an absolute life or death need like food or water, but masturbation is masturbation and not as good as the real thing another person so the introvert needs a sexual partner playmate but not the relationship as they have all the energy they could ever need being alone this is why I use prostitutes. And it costs around as much as $$$ for a big night out and a movie. :boogie


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## kpx0 (Mar 12, 2012)

Koolio said:


> ^Sex does not = food...


No, but both are a human need. Food is far more vital indeed, but do not neglect basic sexual fulfillment as a psychological need. I suggest you consult the psychology books if you disagree.



KramersHalfSister said:


> Geez, sorry for trying to be honest. I'll let you crawl back into your garbage can Oscar the Grouch and take that snarky sarcasm with you. Say what's up to Slimey for me :teeth


I wasn't mocking you for being honest, I was mocking you for arrogantly thinking that you can apply your biased knowledge of sexual intimacy to the entire human species, contradicting scientifically recognized psychology.


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## KramersHalfSister (May 3, 2012)

kpx0 said:


> No, but both are a human need. Food is far more vital indeed, but do not neglect basic sexual fulfillment as a psychological need. I suggest you consult the psychology books if you disagree.
> 
> I wasn't mocking you for being honest, I was mocking you for arrogantly thinking that you can apply your biased knowledge of sexual intimacy to the entire human species, contradicting scientifically recognized psychology.


It's hilarious that several other people have biased viewpoints about sex which are very similar to mine and yet I'm the "arrogant one". Whatever man. I hope you do get laid soon so you stop being so angry and defensive.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

KramersHalfSister said:


> Yeah, that's what I was saying. Masturbation is awesome. I have complete control over that experience and my body so I never get let down lol. *I believe that sex could be fulfilling with the right person too because the emotional chemistry would add fire to the physical* but meh.


 It wasn't even emotional. I had no romantic feelings for the guy at all. We just knew one another very well. Each of us knew what the other liked and wanted because we'd known one another for years and we'd actually talked about sex. We had great sex because we knew how to please one another. That's a different kind of chemistry but it works. Unfortunately, you can't just pick a random person and build that kind of friendship. I was just lucky to have a friend like that. We did not even know where our friendship was headed until it happened. I'm almost tempted to say that if you try to make it happen, it probably won't. Just because life is like that. It likes spontaneity and randomness.


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## Wall of Red (Jun 24, 2011)

All of my sexual experience comes from escorts and I have no regrets. 

Going to see one can be a very nerve wracking experience and I've had one or two problems for example I came too quickly with one and with another I couldn't penetrate her. Overall though I'm pleased I went and I've had several good experiences with some very hot women as well. 

Thanks to escorts I can now say I'm not a virgin and will be a lot more confident and comfortable in the bedroom if I ever get a girlfriend.


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## TPower (Feb 3, 2011)

Grimsey said:


> Also keep this in mind: You are much more likely to find someone when you Aren't looking, and when sex is the least of your concerns.


It's like telling someone he'll find a job once he stops looking.


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

Grimsey said:


> Also keep this in mind: You are much more likely to find someone when you Aren't looking, and when sex is the least of your concerns.


I love this advice. Well played. :yes


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## JohnWalnut (May 2, 2012)

BobtheSaint said:


> I love this advice. Well played. :yes


No offense intended but that is horrible advice. It seems like a common thing to say because it is very fairy-taley, but if you seriously stop putting effort into finding someone because you think that will make them come to you instead, prepare to die a lonely death.


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## shadowmask (Jun 22, 2009)

^I agree. People love to throw around the "it'll happen when you stop looking" BS, yet none of them ever explain how that's supposed to work. It's nothing but wishful thinking. Reminds me of "The Secret".


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## BobtheBest (Aug 27, 2011)

JohnWalnut said:


> No offense intended but that is horrible advice. It seems like a common thing to say because it is very fairy-taley, but if you seriously stop putting effort into finding someone because you think that will make them come to you instead, prepare to die a lonely death.


What he really means is, you'll look more appealing when you're not desperate to get in a relationship. Plus, relationships are more likely to work out when they're not forced. I cannot speak for anyone else, but my best relationship came when it was unexpected.


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

JohnWalnut said:


> No offense intended but that is horrible advice. It seems like a common thing to say because it is very fairy-taley, but if you seriously stop putting effort into finding someone because you think that will make them come to you instead, prepare to die a lonely death.


 Well, when I was about 20-21, I moved out of my parents house for awhile. I moved several states away, got myself a job and rented a place with a guy I knew. I was in that job for about two months when a random girl I worked with asked me out. Didn't even know she liked me and had hardly ever spoken to her.

It turned out that relationship didn't work out but I could have made it work if I wanted to.

I'll tell you this much. Women like some sign of independence. I don't know if some of you guys are living with the parents or not but if you are, that could be a biggie. I'd almost be willing to bet no girl will get serious with you if you still live at home.

Another thing. You have to try and make some friends. If you don't have any friends that could kind of make women wary of you I guess. This is kind of what is meant when people say when you stop trying so hard and just go on with your life, it will be more likely to happen when you're not expecting it.

If the women are not even talking to you now and you're not bad looking, you have to figure it's something about the way you're living. Change your life if you can. If you really want to find someone who is interested in you, you will have to make sacrifices and improving yourself as best you can is the first step.

This advice is strictly from my own experience. I don't know anything about you guys. Maybe it's not even relevant. I moved back in with my parents after all that and haven't really had any serious female attention since. Not a coincidence, I think. Also, aside for a five year period when I was working, I haven't had any friends since the 90s.

I got a job around 2000. I worked there for several years before I made any friends. When I finally did make a couple of friends, boom. I suddenly found out one of the girls I worked with was interested. I was too chicken to pursue it so I missed out. But that gave me some insight. I think women are really wary of guys who appear to be loners.


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## WanderingSoul (Apr 22, 2012)

I've been with over 10 prostitutes, but have also had sex with regular "non-working women" and have had a few girlfriends. I consider myself a sex addict, and for me, it never ends. I still obsess over sex and the next time I can get it. Going to a prostitute once won't get rid of your sex drive, it may come back even stronger. If you decide to go down that road be prepared to get addicted and start spending lots of money...


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

^ You cannot be addicted to your own biology. Junk science does nothing to improve the conversation.


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## Adam81980 (Oct 13, 2011)

comfort said:


> Honestly, it's probably not only the lack of sex itself. It's the fact that it makes me feel worthless that Im not capable of getting it. Also, for those of you who are saying "Be patient. It will come." That's just super naive. Why don't you just tell me "Why worry when you can be happy?"


 I'm amazed people don't understand this! At least other men! With women, well, they just don't understand the need anymore then us men can't understand certain women needs!

It's not about doing it because "everybody else is". It's because you're a male human being and it's a natural adult desire to want sexual relations. When you start approaching a decade with no sexual experience when you're a man, it seriously messes with the most desirable trait to women... You're own confidence! You feel like a failure as a man because you are unable to attract a member of the opposite sex.

I've been where you are at 21. And I understand! I went until I was 28 years old before I finally got it, and I've only had sex 4 times since. It's still so new and awkward that all four times were disappointing and have ended without finishing. That only adds to the anxiety around it.

Also, for those on here trying to tell people to just wait and it will come and all that crap... How, do you think that makes the 30+ year old virgins on here feel? Some of them have been waiting 10, 20+ years and it hasn't come.



Grimsey said:


> I would like to hear firsthand from someone who has actually hired an escort. My suspicion is that it's a cold and unfulfilling experience, that prostitutes are dead and exploited, and that most of them have every STI in the book (condoms don't protect against everything). But hey, I could be wrong.


 Well, approaching 30 and having never attracted a partner that wanted to have sex with me, I was persuaded to visit a legal brothel in Germany one night with an acquaintance who was going and offered to pay for me (Over there, a visit to the brothel for a man isn't anything that's viewed with negative societal stigma or considered dirty. It's really quite common)

The workers are taxed, and regularly screened for STD's. Condom use is mandatory for ANYTHING, you're required to shower first, and the health risks are extremely low compared to street or Craigslist type prostitutes.

So, I went. I tried. And I failed. I took my clothes off and we started, but not only was it awkward because it was the first time. It just felt completely cold, empty, etc. I couldn't even get aroused. After probably less than two minutes of trying, I abruptly stopped, got up and put my clothes on. Said, "Sorry, I can't do this" and I ran out down the street to the subway, leaving my acquaintance there by himself!

All I know is it wasn't for me! If it works for some people than let them have a go at it! Although, I'd recommend avoiding illegal and/or street prostitutes. I guess in a lot of the USA, that's the only option, though?


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## mustang88 (Jun 14, 2012)

Wall of Red said:


> All of my sexual experience comes from escorts and I have no regrets.
> 
> Going to see one can be a very nerve wracking experience and I've had one or two problems for example I came too quickly with one and with another I couldn't penetrate her. Overall though I'm pleased I went and I've had several good experiences with some very hot women as well.
> 
> Thanks to escorts I can now say I'm not a virgin and will be a lot more confident and comfortable in the bedroom if I ever get a girlfriend.


Of course, you're chances of ever getting and especially keeping a girlfriend are significantly lower now that you've slept with hookers. My current boyfriend slept with a couple of ugly chicks before me, one of them being the biggest **** in town. Took a lot for me to get past that. I can't imagine the disgust I would feel towards him if I ever found out he had sex with a hooker. More importantly, I would hope he told me this before I ever had sex with him. If I ever found out after I had sex with him, I would feel regret and disgusted both with him and at myself for even liking such a pig.

All of you desperate virgins here (and the guys who slept with only hookers still count as virgins -- since no one actually wanted to have sex with you), need to start looking for RELATIONSHIPS. Girls don't want to have sex with you, just because you want to get laid. They want to have sex with you because you make them feel special, beautiful, and good about themselves. Going around thinking "I will never get laid, how do I get laid, will this girl have sex with me" is the wrong attitude to have. Find a girl who you like, who enjoys your company, and DATE her because you like hers. That is the fastest way to getting laid, and by that point I would hope it's not about "getting laid" but about the intimacy you can share with someone who IS special and beautiful to you.


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## mustang88 (Jun 14, 2012)

Adam81980 said:


> I'm amazed people don't understand this! At least other men! With women, well, they just don't understand the need anymore then us men can't understand certain women needs!
> 
> It's not about doing it because "everybody else is". It's because you're a male human being and it's a natural adult desire to want sexual relations. When you start approaching a decade with no sexual experience when you're a man, it seriously messes with the most desirable trait to women... You're own confidence! You feel like a failure as a man because you are unable to attract a member of the opposite sex.
> 
> ...


I would like to say that my previous reply does not apply to you. I think if I had a boyfriend who describe his experiences with a hooker as honestly as you just did, I would be able to look past that. I do however still think you need to be looking for a relationship rather than a lay. Surprising to men, most women enjoy sex too.... In long term relationships when sex stops playing an active role in the marriage/relationship and the men are complaining about lack of sex, I am almost positive it is due to lack of affection and romance on the part of the husband. Women like sex, but we need to feel beautiful. We need to feel sexy. We need to feel loved and _important_. Men would have far more sex if they realized these things. You can't be out trying to screw everything with a vagina. You will have far more sex if you make one woman feel like the only woman, then you will making several women feel like a number.


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