# Attractive Women at Work



## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

at my job, there are some women I find attractive. I don't work with them directly, however, so I'm not really exposed to them day in, day out.
I always have feelings of guilt that well up, knowing that (in all likelihood) they are married or otherwise involved with someone, and ultimately not interested in me, regardless.
Just the same, it is a vague comfort that I won't be subject to any kind of workplace sanctions regarding fraternization.


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## 629753 (Apr 7, 2015)

never date anyone in the workplace. i learned that the hard way


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

impedido10 said:


> never date anyone in the workplace. i learned that the hard way


So what happened?


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## TonyH (Mar 8, 2015)

I usually find it's only awkward when you turn into a little bit-- boy. If you are just man enough to speak your mind to women not only does everyone respect you (not that you should care), but it addresses the pink elephant in the room. Lots of girls out there. Yeah lets just say you can get away with anything if a girls is into you. Watch simple pick up haha


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## I Beethoven (Mar 11, 2017)

i can relate to this it is depressing but i dont have a job i get depressed when i see attractive woman 

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## Zozulya (Mar 24, 2016)

All my coworkers are women, but I don't have good connections with any of them. Probably I am too much of a shut-in and just don't care.


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## I Beethoven (Mar 11, 2017)

Zozulya said:


> All my coworkers are women, but I don't have good connections with any of them. Probably I am too much of a shut-in and just don't care.


i envy you, i wish i had a job

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## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

Why guilt?


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

Update:
Both of these ladies I rarely see at work. We don't work directly together. One works in another division but signs in for the day near me. she bought me a tiny toy (a _star trek_ knick-knack) the other day, 'just because'. (she noticed I had a _Trek_ lunchbox one day). I offered to pay for it, but she said that's okay.. :heart

The other lady just started work here-- working the shift after mine ends. both are friendly. I don't know anything about their personal lives.
I'd like to try to get to know both of them. I don't know how to approach it.

I don't want to assume that just because they are friendly, that they are interested in me romantically. but I'm lonely. :sighI would really like to have a dating life, and hopefully a girlfriend by the end of the year.:squeeze
Sigh. I'm feeling stuck, as usual.



Ai said:


> Why guilt?


because, implicitly, I know (or I tend to feel) that the workplace is not supposed to be a singles/social scene. So that's where the guilt comes in. Also the knowledge that I'm a "low man on the totem pole" in terms of income in this environment; I know I don't remotely have anything lucrative to offer.


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

hypestyle said:


> Update:
> Both of these ladies I rarely see at work. We don't work directly together. One works in another division but signs in for the day near me. she bought me a tiny toy (a _star trek_ knick-knack) the other day, 'just because'. (she noticed I had a _Trek_ lunchbox one day). I offered to pay for it, but she said that's okay..


That is a promising sign, TBH. Could it have been purely a thoughtful gift and innocent? Sure, but there is a greater chance that she does like you if she'd go to the trouble. I mean, even if she was in a check-out line, noticed it on the rack, and bought it, it still had to be with you in mind.

Don't go proposing marriage, but if you like her...I think you've just been sent a signal.


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## TheInvisibleHand (Sep 5, 2015)

hypestyle said:


> Update:
> Both of these ladies I rarely see at work. We don't work directly together. One works in another division but signs in for the day near me. she bought me a tiny toy (a _star trek_ knick-knack) the other day, 'just because'. (she noticed I had a _Trek_ lunchbox one day).


Find out if she is married ASAP.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

hypestyle said:


> Update:
> Both of these ladies I rarely see at work. We don't work directly together. One works in another division but signs in for the day near me. she bought me a tiny toy (a _star trek_ knick-knack) the other day, 'just because'. (she noticed I had a _Trek_ lunchbox one day). I offered to pay for it, but she said that's okay.. :heart
> 
> The other lady just started work here-- working the shift after mine ends. both are friendly. I don't know anything about their personal lives.
> ...


Don't assume that she's interested in you. Tell her you want to treat her for lunch (on a work day) as a thank you.


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

nubly said:


> Don't assume that she's interested in you. Tell her you want to treat her for lunch (on a work day) as a thank you.


I'll see if I can do this. I have to get a thank you card at least.


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## railcar82594 (Mar 1, 2016)

If they're older than 25 they're usually already married or attached. So be careful. I had pranks played on me before.


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## hypestyle (Nov 12, 2003)

railcar82594 said:


> If they're older than 25 they're usually already married or attached. So be careful. I had pranks played on me before.


Well, I managed to get a thank you card for the lady that gave me the _Trek_ toy (which I felt was the least I could do). Surprisingly, she was very touched, and hugged me, I gave her a peck on the cheek. It was nice.
Maybe she's just friendly, I don't know. We'll see. But it was a nice pick-me-up moment for the day.


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## TreeOfWolf (Oct 17, 2016)

Sexual harassment gave me great distress and ruined my career... While it's natural to find women attractive, it'd be dangerous to expect them to give you everything you want.

Don't jump to conclusions about their availability, no need to be guilty about feeling emotions and liking them, as long as you don't act on it and destroy their marriage just for sexual gratifications, and not marry her... If it's social anxiety that stops you from acting like a dick... I praise it and you.

No need to torture yourself. Pick your favorite and try to know more about her... But please don't have the expectations of the ultimate ideal to see her grant your every desires... that's not just too much pressure on you but also on yourself... Just be interested to know her as a human being. Freely, without demands, without expectations... without pressures, without thinking that everything less than the ultimate maximum is worthless... Life flow much better this way... everything is much more flavorful this way...

But yeah, breaking up with an angry ex and having to see them everyday, too dangerous... I had someone harass me, another tried to ruin my life and take everything away... I bet at least a few people ended up ruined and homeless from a frustrated heart...

Thank you for having the self control to resist mating with everything that moves around you... It gives me a little more hope in humanity...

But I see nothing wrong in genuinely trying to get to know them a little better. At least to have good relations as coworkers. But asking if they're married right away would sound like saying "sooo, are you married or free to ****, you delicious piece of meat" ... that would scare the hell out of me.


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