# None of my College Friends Want to Talk to Me



## DaydreamerJay (May 24, 2016)

I just finished my first year of college three weeks ago. I met some of my closest friends I've ever had in college, but I don't think they consider me close or a priority. We're all on break, and we live in different towns. I have no friends to talk at my hometown. I lost them a year ago in my senior year of high school when I fell into deep depression and everybody pushed me away which is understandable because nobody likes debbie downers.

I decided to text or message my college friends recently, but I found that either I'm always initiating and I just get short or uninterested replies that never bring the convo anywhere, or they never reply to my messages for days. I want to keep in contact with them because they are the only friends I have. They probably think I'm weird or not worth talking to.


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## Indigo11 (Dec 14, 2012)

If they don't accept you for who you are or help in any way, they are not your friends.

You deserve better. I would suggest joining your local clubs or societies or go on meet up's or join internet friendships.

I'll be your friend and you can PM anytime you want in you want to talk .


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

I had some close friends in college but i rarely contacted them during the break if at all. Perhaps i didn't want to come across like i had a boring life in my home town. College friends tend to be flakey anyway. Afterwards i quickly lost touch with most of mine. Sharing a flat with someone will clearly enable you to develop a cliseness to someone but at the same time is it just that way because you live together or would you make a connection no matter what. I think there is a difference between those kinds of relationships and the latter tend to last. The friends that i have retained best were those that i met outside of living space, college course or through mutual friends. These people i have stuff in common with, which isn't necessarily the case with those ive been forced to get to know. Yeah it sucks that they seem uninterested. It's so often what quiet and anxious people are faced with.


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## Andras96 (Mar 28, 2014)

Indigo11 said:


> If they don't accept you for who you are or help in any way, they are not your friends.


Pretty much. I tried talking to a few people this semester and managed to gain enough courage to give out my number... and I've never heard from any of them. Though they were probably less than acquaintances really.


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## JohnDoe26 (Jun 6, 2012)

DaydreamerJay said:


> I just finished my first year of college three weeks ago. I met some of my closest friends I've ever had in college, but I don't think they consider me close or a priority. We're all on break, and we live in different towns. I have no friends to talk at my hometown. I lost them a year ago in my senior year of high school when I fell into deep depression and everybody pushed me away which is understandable because nobody likes debbie downers.
> 
> I decided to text or message my college friends recently, but I found that either I'm always initiating and I just get short or uninterested replies that never bring the convo anywhere, or they never reply to my messages for days. I want to keep in contact with them because they are the only friends I have. They probably think I'm weird or not worth talking to.


How do they treat you when you're around them? If they treat you good, then it sounds like they just have other priorities while they're on a break (they have family, local friends to catch up on) -- nothing personal. Just resume your friendship with them once you get back.


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## Wildspark (Dec 2, 2013)

Ask them if they want to meet up to see a concert


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## surviving (Oct 2, 2015)

@DaydreamerJay

I think it is part of American society that treats individual priorities before the community...from where I see things, it's a growing issue and it will only get worse. While it would seem like you are close with your friends, the fact that this is happening shows that maybe they weren't as close to begin with. I mean, really good friends you could rely your life with but for me, I've never witnessed anything like that. Everyone is always out for themselves, hence...alone.

It's not surprising that having and keeping friends is hardest in America when most people put their needs in front of others. While there's nothing wrong with that, it is hard to find reliable people who will be friends with you until the end. I think we can learn something through more eastern cultures that have a more community based...my dad that grew up in China had some of the best friends in college that whenever he visits China, will treat him for lunch or dinner and it'll be this huge thing. That's something I doubt I will ever witness in America.

It's not that these things can't happen in America but keep trying. Hopefully you'll meet some people that you can get close with.


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## coffees (Jun 11, 2016)

Going through the same thing right now, it sucks


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## regimes (Aug 24, 2011)

i got really close to two girls in college and they all but forgot me once i transferred. 
most of my high school friends have their own separate lives now too.
it's really sad that you can be super close to someone and have an ultra deep connection with them, and then suddenly they can disappear from your life.


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

This is why people need to find ways to put effort in relationships and friendships. Drifting off is what happens when effort isn't there on both sides.


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