# I'm not close to my extended family



## NoClue32

I used to be close to my cousins up until maybe 12/13 years old, but then as we grew up, I began noticing how extremely different I am from them. I had to transfer districts after 6th grade was over to be closer to home. I stopped seeing them as much as I used to. This included grandparents, aunts/uncles, everyone. Nobody in my family is shy or has social anxiety or anything. My dad is introverted but that's about it. My extended family is not mean to me at all, they actually try to act like they care as much about me as they care about each other. But when I talk to them, I cannot hold a conversation or anything. I can tell they aren't vibing with me and it's really awkward. I only see my extended family a few times a year, and every time we meet they're like "omg I haven't seen you in forever.." 

I'm worried because what if I start a family one day and I'm still not close with my family. My husband is gonna think I'm a wierdo and my kid is gonna suffer for it. He/she won't be close to his/her aunts/uncles/great grandparents from my side. I just wish I was close to my family like a normal person.


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## firestar

I'm not close with my extended family, either. I haven't seen them since college. I have the same problem: they're nice people, but we just don't fit. It makes me very anxious to be around them. 

I've given up on the idea that we'll ever be close. It's just so awkward to have SA and to feel like I have to hide who I truly am from them because they would never understand. 

I remember when I was in college and one of my cousins (maybe nine years old or so at the time) asked, "Have you ever had a boyfriend?" I blushed furiously and my uncle shushed her. I was just so embarrassed for being so old and having to say "no" to that question, even though most normal people wouldn't have a problem with it.


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## InfiniteBlaze

I'm the same way. No hard feelings but I just can't talk to them or else it would be awkward as ****.


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## Kami E

firestar said:


> I'm not close with my extended family, either. I haven't seen them since college. I have the same problem: they're nice people, but we just don't fit. It makes me very anxious to be around them.
> 
> I've given up on the idea that we'll ever be close. It's just so awkward to have SA and to feel like I have to hide who I truly am from them because they would never understand.
> 
> I remember when I was in college and one of my cousins (maybe nine years old or so at the time) asked, "Have you ever had a boyfriend?" I blushed furiously and my uncle shushed her. I was just so embarrassed for being so old and having to say "no" to that question, even though most normal people wouldn't have a problem with it.


This is exactly like my family. It's so embarassing, it's like my nuclear family is a bunch of weirdoes (both my parents are super introverted, and dont socialize ever and as a result my brother and I are the same) The rest of the fam are nothing like that - they have their problems but personality wise they are all pretty normal, outgoing and have social lives, and that.


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## march_hare

Tbh I don't think that is an abnormal situation to be in at all. 
I know lots of people who don't know their extended family well at all, never see them, or even have massive feuds that have lasted for years and totally hate each other.


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## DarrellLicht

march_hare said:


> Tbh I don't think that is an abnormal situation to be in at all.
> I know lots of people who don't know their extended family well at all, never see them, or even have massive feuds that have lasted for years and totally hate each other.


 :yes


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## Stormclouds

I have cousins I wouldn't recognize on the street if I saw them. That's okay with me.


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