# So bad with peer pressure



## starfire1997 (Nov 16, 2017)

Hi,

I'm a female in her early 20s who grew up homeschooled and has never really had any real friends. I've dealt with anxiety since I was very young and came close to anorexia and self abuse at one point. But I've gained some confidence as I've grown older.

Most of the people I know from work love to drink excessively and talk about sex and porn more often that I am comfortable with. I grew up in a very conservative, Christian household and still hold those values for the most part. Yes, I am also a virgin and have never had a real boyfriend. My coworkers also trash talk virgins all the time(I have never told them I was one).

But these people from my work are always trying to "loosen me up", and laugh about what it would be like to see me drunk. One guy I met at a work party kept insisting I drink more because I wasn't having enough fun even though I declined several times. I'm sure most of them mean well but I don't even like alcohol and have never felt comfortable at house parties they keep inviting me to. It's just not me and I always kick myself when I give in and drink with them because I only do it to fit in and make them happy.

I don't want to do this anymore. It's not just because my religion discourages excessive drinking but I feel like I am sinning against myself for doing something that bothers me so much just to "be cool". So I just end up saying I'm sick or too busy with other things other than coming clean.

Any encouragement if anyone else like me is out there would be greatly appreciated.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Notgoingout (Mar 19, 2015)

Guys pressuring an inexperienced girl to drink and inviting her to house parties... yeah that's predatory a bit. So i'd be careful, it sounds like they're all younger than you? Or just immature, if they can only talk about porn and sex. I had similar stuff at school and uni being pressured to drink but I just wouldn't go. When I did find it overwhelming I tended to leave early. And you can outright say ''no'' to people. Try and make sure there are some girls around as well, might make you feel and actually be, a little safer. If you're getting invited to house parties and encouraged to drink someone will make a move at some point. Not that i'm some man hating feminist or anything! :lol I've just been around guys enough to know there are plenty of... unsavoury ones who use alcohol to get girls to loosen up. Now I rarely drink because I just don't like it and feel comfortable enough saying that. Maybe once or twice a year i'll go get drunk but always on my terms! So yeah good luck, if you cave to peer preure they'll keep doing it and doing it. I only noticed I got respect and wasn't hassled to get drunk etc when I started saying 'no' with conviction. 
So you shouldn't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Good luck


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

I'm a very liberal atheist who grew up in a non-religious environment, but I don't like to drink (never gotten drunk) and don't want to talk about sex and porn (makes me feel like we're grunting apes).

You've just got to find the few people who are right for you, and not pressure yourself to become friends with everybody you meet. Be friendly to them, but don't go to the bar or drunken party with them if that's not your thing.

I think it helps a lot if you're honest with them. Instead of pretending to be sick, just respectfully let everybody know you don't like drinking or let everybody know you don't want to be involved in the sex discussion. That's how you find the other people like you -- some day you'll be declining an invite like that and somebody next to you will say "yeah, I feel the same way, how about we out and do X instead?"


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Do you, please don't follow society or the world. Its toxic. Be different .


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## Alpha Tauri (Mar 19, 2017)

Definitely a like a bad crowd. You should find other people to hang out with, maybe older, more mature coworkers. With those topics they talk about, it does sound like they're still growing into their 20s.


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## aaaa1111bbbb2222cccc3333 (May 10, 2015)

You just have more character than them. So much conventional people can't understand it when your idea of "fun" isn't about getting drunk all the time or having sex with every guy/girl you meet. They're boring but they fit within the norm so they usually have a bigger sense of confidence from it. Not much advice except stand your ground and be assertive. Make it look like it's not a big deal to you and you just don't share the same interests.


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## starfire1997 (Nov 16, 2017)

Thank you to everyone who posted. I just got around to reading them. They did ask me again and I told them I just don’t like to drink and they could call me a goody goody if they wanted. One of the guys was like no we aren’t calling you that but we won’t stop trying. Not exactly the response I wanted from them but could have been worse I guess. Thank for the moral support though just needed to vent. It helps knowing there are people like you even if they are halfway across the country or overseas


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