# My condescending sister :/



## BaskaBirKedi (Aug 3, 2017)

My older sister has always been like this. She's extremely extroverted and social, but she's never even tried to understand my anxiety or why I'm naturally an introvert and don't want to go out 7 days a week. Since she's moved out and become more mature, I think she's been more accepting, but then she'll say something or do something condescending and it hurts especially because I was thinking she changed a little. 

When she was a teenager, she would have all of her loud judgemental friends over before she went out and she would bang on my door trying to get me to "socialize like normal people do". I also found her friends really rude, like they would talk **** about other people constantly behind their backs and I hated it. 

At one point, I went to visit her at her new place by myself (I was 15 at the time, she was 20) and she wanted me to go to a Bible study meeting with her. I said yes because I did want to go, and she replied sarcastically "so do you plan on sitting in the corner the whole time or will you at least act like a human?" I hate it when she does that. She also likes to compare me to autistic people, which is offensive to everyone involved because she has 0 understanding of SA or autism. For her, we're both lumped into the "alien" section. You'd think that for someone who "understands people empathetically" she would be able to figure out that it hurts to be called an alien for something you can't really control and didn't ask for. Anyways, I went to the Bible study meeting because I'm working on facing the anxiety of being in a group with new people. Usually, I would try to smile at people but mainly keep to myself at first and let a few other people greet me. This didn't need to be any more stressful than it already was for me, but my sister manages to turn my anxiety into panic by forcing me into situations where she basically made me talk to all 108 people at the meeting, which is NOT what I'm into. At one point during this I actually froze up and stuttered a bit which was really awkward. My sister wouldn't stop laughing about it and I almost cried (I actually cried later). After that, I went home. 

There have been other times just recently where she's been rude and I don't think she even realizes it. She likes to give me "advice" about things I obviously know about, such as "you need to say excuse me when you have to get past". See how frustrating that is? I'm not a 4 yr old! I know English!


----------



## Nihilist00 (Aug 3, 2017)

Well for starters, I'm an introverted person too. I was more lika that in the past but till this day I don't enjoy the company of other people very much!  I've been teased a lot of times by people but because I always seemed like they can't hurt me they eventually stopped. Even my boyfriend sometimes teases me saying I;m not normal for not wanting to go out much and living like a vampire.Lol. However, he knows me and understands the way I am, while your sister seems to be somehow mean. Firstly, please don't let her hurt you, because you are normal, your are not autistic ( that's very rude of her to say), and you can live as you like. If you decide that you don't wanna spend time with some people you already know are losers, that's a great choice. If she teases you again like this just tell her that you actually are very selective of your entourage and you don't like wasting your time with anybody. If you are actually happy the way you are you don't have to justify your life to anybody anyway. If you feel that you want to change and be more sociable you can always to that. I've always been shy and didn't like people staring at me, but I worked a lot with myself and I tried to pretend that I'm easygoing and sociable and it worked. I was perceived at that time sociable and funny and I met a lot of people. After I did my experiment though, I saw that I didn't like being that way. I gave to people my attention while they were not worth it. Now I am more balanced in my life, I'm closed to people at first and if I like them, I then try to be friends with them but in an natural way not in a forced one. You could always try to talk with your sister and explain to her that you are different and have a different lifestyle than her. If she understands and stops teasing you that would be ideal, if not, then just try to ignore her. Remember, as long as you feel alright with yourself and the way you live, no one can tell you what to do or judge you. Hope you're well and sorry for the long post.


----------

