# Does it get better after high school?



## ayko (Feb 20, 2015)

I am a high school junior in an incredibly competitive and advanced high school. Academically, I'm struggling and stressed out. Socially, I have no friends. I have people who I talk to sometimes, but they only talk to me if they want to vent or talk about their problems, and when I try to talk to them, they immediately avoid/ignore me. I feel like people only keep me around because I listen to them, and they won't do the same for me. High school is a mess. So many people in my school and people my age are just incredibly mean and petty for no apparent reason. I feel like my school's environment is stifling me, both creatively and emotionally. I'm "shy" in high school and I recently had to deal with all of my "friends'" (of which I didn't even have that many in the first place) turning against me. I guess I've been completely alone fora short while now, and I take solace in that fact that MAYBE it'll get better in college. I'm a lot less anxious and shy when I'm in a positive environment, but what if I'm depending too much on the idea that it'll get better after high school? That's my main concern. What are your experiences and opinions?
***i posted this onto another category as well because I wasn't sure which one was the correct one. I hope that's okay with everyone.


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## seaport (Sep 19, 2010)

Speaking from my own experience, I would say yes. I didn't care for high school but I loved college. It's a totally different environment.


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## mermaidd (Feb 15, 2015)

I'm thinking about not going to college, because even though they say it gets better i really don't want to get disappointed again and get more depressed I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO AFTER HIGH SCHOOL, it kinda freaks me out but I want these 2 years left to be over rn.


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## TheLegendofDragoon (Feb 14, 2015)

I think college is better in the regards of more freedom. I also prefer college since there are more people and it's not like high school where everyone knew me and most hated me. The thing I've hated about college is how they force you to work in groups every class. Some teachers have used excuses as ''It's a way to prepare yourselves when you go out into the workforce''. Sadly, people form cliques in these classes and if you don't find a group right away, you'll have difficulty getting in a group. I'll say overall it's better though


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## Mxx1 (Feb 3, 2015)

Hope so, i really want to have something to look forward to after highschool now.


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## InfiniteBlaze (Jan 27, 2011)

It only gets better if you got bullied or ****ed with in high school. Bullying in college is very rare and close to nonexistent.

If you're not getting bullied and you're hoping for your actual social life to improve, then no it doesn't get better. People who are popular in high school will still be popular in college. People who were unpopular in high school will still be unpopular in college.


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## mrnogood (Feb 13, 2015)

My original high school life sucked, was a mute. But still had more social opportunities than college.

When I repeated high school, I actually knew alot of people, especially girls and had an awesome time.
So imo no, it just gets worse. College is lonely af noone has really tried to befriend me like that since.

Oh and dress well, ditch the glasses if you wear them and have some kind of style.
My 2nd time around I actually put more into how I look and it made a huge difference.

And honestly switch schools if you want another chance to change your rep. I tried to do that in the first place but my parents wouldn't let me.


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## yellowpages (May 16, 2012)

It didn't for me. The bullying stopped, which was great, but leaving school throws up a whole new set of problems (getting a job, career problems, etc). The weight of the world hits you like a ****ing nuclear bomb.


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## Morpheus (May 26, 2006)

It has more potential to improve, but whether things actually improve depend to a great extent on how you handle college. If you spend the whole experience hiding in your dorm room nothing will improve and they might even get worse. If you take advantage of what college has to offer, try to be more social, and seek treatment for your social phobia (and any other mental health issues) then things will probably improve.


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## sociallydiseased (Jan 5, 2013)

I dropped out of community college to join the military and I don't regret it at all, honestly.


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## cazzy (Jan 28, 2014)

There seemed to be a better mix of people in high school so it was more likely that you would find people like you to be friends with, however you would also be more likely to find the *******s of the mix as well.

In college everyone seems like a copy of each other even including their personalities. If you are not this basic type of person, then it might be hard socially. No one will mess with you in college if you have that problem. But if you don't fit in don't worry about it too much and try to find people outside of college to make friends with. I am a senior in college and I wish I knew this back then instead of trying so hard to be friends with people from my college.


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## monotonous (Feb 1, 2013)

depends really, theres a difference between the loser forever type and loser temporarily type


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Well. I got laid at least 10 times in highschool. I haven't touched a girl since.


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## VeMuñeca (Sep 5, 2013)

I am going to be honest with you: the answer to your question is "yes" is definitely does get better! However, be aware that you will still most likely come across annoying people and fake friends. If you decide to go to college you will probably make some friends, but after graduation most, if not all, of them will go their separate ways and you will never hear from them again.

But after high school most people are pretty awful, but certainly not as awful as high schoolers.


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## Puppet Master (Jan 1, 2012)

No in my experience College is a nightmare. I went to a Junior College and wanted to beat the living hell out of every ***** and ******* I met. In University I feel the same way about 99% of the ****ing assclowns I've met. I keep wondering why I bothered. At 28 I wish I was dead.

As for friends? Yeah I haven't made a single one over the years.


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## 2Milk (Oct 29, 2014)

Well in community college no one knows me (except for a couple of ex-class mates, but we didn't talk in hs so yeah..) so less anxiety when walking through school. The crowd is also much more mature which really isn't saying much since i came from a crappy HS that was failing to meet standardized test requirements because the students were so dumb.


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## Ziva (Jan 9, 2015)

In some aspects


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

No. You'll just change one worry with another.


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## Mattsy94 (Feb 11, 2013)

Nope. I still didn't get on or empathize with many people in college. Everyone still saw me as the weirdo and treated me differently. The school counselor always told me that everything would be better in the real world, but it really isn't. Everyone is still judgmental and biased.


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## Hayman (Dec 27, 2014)

I left High School as soon as I could – which here in the UK is 16 (or was, back then at least). I never went onto further education and instead went straight into the world of employment. It wasn't education I had an issue with – it was mingling with immature people of my own age which ended up pushing me out of the door. I just couldn't cope with them any more and I took the first ‘escape route’ that I could. Some teachers tried to encourage me to stay on as I did get decent grades in my GCSE's, but unfortunately they didn't succeed. They told me it would be different in sixth form (which is what your additional two years of high school are called here in the UK), but I didn't want to risk it. I'd had enough and seen enough. 

I can’t say it was a great decision but then again, I can't say it was a terrible one either. In short, my life basically stalled after I left school and has yet to get going again. Yes, I have a job which pays me a meagre income and I do have a car. That’s about it. I still remain at home with the parents and I remain a virgin who's never had a girlfriend. I'm 30 in April… My 20's have effectively been a complete and utter waste.

For the sake of not having a better paid job I do regret not carrying on. I'll admit to that now and have done for a few years. However, I don't for a second regret cutting ties with the vast majority of the people I went to school with though. I was joked at, continually snubbed, insulted – you name it. Most of the girls looked at me as if I had the plague. I was naïve to think that perhaps they would have matured over the years when I was idiotic enough to trace them on Facebook several years later, but no, they were just the same (only better off and all in or had been in relationships). 

Sadly in adulthood, my problems with people still continue and have got worse if anything. Women still look at me as if I'm either weird or have the plague, regardless of how I approach them. The men are quick enough to insult me. The pair both snub me otherwise. In this respect it's just like school – only with considerably more financial responsibility.

Roll on retirement, I say. I may actually get some pleasure out of my life then…


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## feel me now (Dec 9, 2014)

ayko said:


> I am a high school junior in an incredibly competitive and advanced high school. Academically, I'm struggling and stressed out. Socially, I have no friends. I have people who I talk to sometimes, but they only talk to me if they want to vent or talk about their problems, and when I try to talk to them, they immediately avoid/ignore me. I feel like people only keep me around because I listen to them, and they won't do the same for me. High school is a mess. So many people in my school and people my age are just incredibly mean and petty for no apparent reason. I feel like my school's environment is stifling me, both creatively and emotionally. I'm "shy" in high school and I recently had to deal with all of my "friends'" (of which I didn't even have that many in the first place) turning against me. I guess I've been completely alone fora short while now, and I take solace in that fact that MAYBE it'll get better in college. I'm a lot less anxious and shy when I'm in a positive environment, but what if I'm depending too much on the idea that it'll get better after high school? That's my main concern. What are your experiences and opinions?
> ***i posted this onto another category as well because I wasn't sure which one was the correct one. I hope that's okay with everyone.


I'm pretty much in the same exact boat as you. The only real difference is I forced myself out of the mentality that things will get better because honestly, most of the time things either don't get better or stagnate just long enough for you to believe things are better. But I can't talk for you really. I'm just talking for myself.

Perhaps things will improve, but what then? Will you look back at these years of anxiety in disdain? No, I think you need to embrace the status quo and the way things are and be more accepting of your current state. It'll keep you sane for now, so when things do improve you can see it more as evolution than a direct transition.


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## penis rash (Feb 28, 2015)

no one is judging you. Everyone just wants to be friends. The important thing is to remember everyone is human like yourself. No one is better than you its all in your head.
-penis rash


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## RedThunder (Feb 28, 2015)

Not for me. If anything it has got much worse.


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## NeverAFrown_00 (Nov 21, 2012)

Worse. Much worse. :blank


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## nervousnelly91 (Mar 2, 2015)

I think from your circumstances it probably will get better, college is somewhere where everyone is pretty much new and everyone gets varying degrees of anxiety in those first weeks. I can say however that I found college to be less stressful than highschool, I find it's harder to make lasting friendships however as classes only go for half a year if that, then it's a new class with new people but if you're in america and living in a dorm I think it allows you to bond with people more, in Australia people tend to live with their parents during college as our colleges are all in the main cities. All the best with the end of highschool, you can get through it!


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## skys (Mar 14, 2014)

College has been torture for the most part and many days I wish I could return to high school as times were so carefree back then. I have a lot of regret in wasting so much time in high school which could have been used to develop essential skills needed after graduation. The education system didn't prepare me but most of all I didn't prepare myself.


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## LOON ATTIC (Mar 3, 2015)

College is not significantly worse to me, but my feelings toward it aren't so good...

At first it wasn't soo bad. I mean, there is more "freedom", to some degree. We get treated a little better. We at least have the right to walk out (losing a lot of money, but at least not being chased and handled by police) most of the time.

It's generally easier on the first few semesters, although this really depends on the college and the individual, but after a while I just got tired of it and want it to end (I'm just a sophomore right now). I don't know what I'd rather do, become a hermit or something.



> I feel like my school's environment is stifling me, both creatively and emotionally.


Sounds about right.

I guess people can be significantly better in college. I've barely had any friends in either high school or college. I guess it is a significantly more positive environment, I don't know how I'd feel about going back to high school.


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## its anobrain (Mar 4, 2015)

Does anyone in this thread have any experience with UK high school / college (16-18)? Is college better than high school when you have SA or worse?


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## Cyclonic (Oct 25, 2012)

I found college to be a lot better, in my case. Several factors contributed to this (which unfortunately may only be specific to me, but some parts may be relevant in general).

In high school I was kind of a loser throughout most of it. Fat, dental problems, had a small group of friends (mostly seen as outcasts) that I seemed barely a part of, the only positive was the high grades I worked for. I did lose a ton of weight the second half of my senior year, gaining confidence in the process, but by then it was too late to develop any social relationships.

I disliked the social aspect of high school quite a bit. Perhaps it was just the area I was in, but it was all about cliques, status, and sports with less emphasis on academic performance. The unfortunate part about these cliques is that they developed over 8-12 years of schooling. A lot of the people I went to high school with, I also went to middle school and elementary school with, it's hard to break in if you don't get in early...and I never did. I also disliked the extremely structured aspect, there was some wiggle room for different subjects, but hardly enough.

College was completely different, I was accepted to a school in a big city and I moved 300 miles away from home to live on campus. Cliques and status no longer mattered, there were a bunch of people committed to learning coming together, nobody knew each other and it was essentially a fresh start. The priorities seemed vastly different on a college campus, with a focus on academics above all else (well partying too). I got to live on my own, I got to pick what I wanted to learn, it was a great experience.

High school included some of the worst years of my life, but college more than made up for it.


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## VisualAttraction (Jun 12, 2012)

I absolutely despised high school and was thrilled to get away. College is a much different experience. You get to control how much you want to socialize (unless you have group projects) and who you interact with. I felt high school was too rigid for me, but in college there's a lot more freedom. This can be a good or bad thing depending on how you see it.


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## wmu'14 (Sep 17, 2010)

Yes and no.

Pros:
+You can make your own choices
+People are more accepting
+You're not forced to be with the same people who decided they didn't like you in elementary school
+You can move out, be in control of your money
+A fresh start. In fact, you can fresh start whenever you want.

Cons:
-Many of those same things that made you who you are in high school really mess you up the rest of your life.
-You're still considered weird different
-The stakes are higher. 'If I fail socially here they may not keep me employed here.'
-Possibly less freedom if you start working.
-It's harder to fly under the radar.

College is definitely better, but even though I had social anxiety I still struggled.


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## Haillzz91 (Oct 26, 2013)

My life is much better after high school. I'd never go back there.


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