# Do you think you're ugly?



## lostwitness

Every day when I look in the mirror I'm disgusted. Sometimes I think I wouldn't even be going through this if I was good looking my whole life.

Does anyone else think that they're ugly, and do you believe that this belief holds you back?


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## aubre

I know I am ugly. If it makes you feel any better, I am 100% sure I am uglier than you.

It does hold me back. When I see people I assume the first thing they think about me is "Wow, he's so unnattractive."

I have never met and I can't imagine anyone uglier than myself.


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## Inturmal

We all know that beauty is on the inside. 
and that makes me ugly.


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## Zephyr

I can't look at mirrors either. They're evil.


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## WineKitty

Sometimes yes and sometimes no....most of the time yes. :sigh


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## lyssado707

Naw not anymore. I'm not perfect looking, but most people aren't too.


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## Lonelyguy

I don't think I'm ugly. I know I am .


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## anonymous259

Yes. I can look in their bathroom mirror in the morning when I have to (like, to shave) but I have to prepare my self, well, I expect to see it. The other day I saw my reflection in a window at school and it got me down :-(


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## leppardess

I'm neither ugly nor beautiful. I'm average and I'm okay with that.


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## Save the Wheel

I feel the same way you do, lostwitness. All we can do is get by together.


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## mal

I'm average, but overweight, and that is unforgivable for many folk. So they probably see me as ugly.


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## Augustinus

I don't think I'm ugly, ugly. But I am terrified of people telling me I'm not attractive. :afr


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## Derekgnr

I'm ugly. Bad acne scars isn't exactly attractive.


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## nubly

when i was a teen my parents would constantly tell me how ugly i was. when i was in my early 20s, i would get a lot of compliments on how attracrive i was. now i dont think i look that good but it doesnt bother anymore


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## lostwitness

I've seen some people say that they're ugly here -- and when I see their picture they look sooo hot.


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## tinselhair

lostwitness said:


> Every day when I look in the mirror I'm disgusted. Sometimes I think I wouldn't even be going through this if I was good looking my whole life.
> 
> Does anyone else think that they're ugly, and do you believe that this belief holds you back?


Sometimes when I look in the mirror I think I look kind of cute :yes , even sexy :yay , and then other times when I look in the mirror I am appallingly disgusted with my looks and feel ugly :troll --although I almost always think my face looks good for a 52 year old  and my hair is pretty snazzy, too.  :b

I don't think that it's my belief about the way I look that *ever* holds me back. It's my (sometimes) *skunky *attitude that gets in *my* way. :mum :sigh

Star :sas


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## uskidsknow

I think I look okay until I compare myself to someone better looking than me. It used to really, really hold me back and I used to think I was too ugly for people to want to talk to. I used to be really overweight and my mind still sorta thinks I am, but it's getting easier for me to feel comfortable with how I look now.


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## sonya99

I always felt ugly, but it was much worse when I was growing up. I remember being 12 years old with long flowing hair, and still hearing somebody say "is that a boy or a girl?" So at least I know I am fairly androgynous which tends to be ugly in other people's eyes, but not necessarily so. 

As I grew older, I started to believe I looked more "normal" and I at least didn't feel freakish. Sure, a little plain, a little hard-faced, but nothing too distracting. 

But now I've gone and cut off most of my hair. Apparently long hair, the symbol of my femininity, was the only thing recently letting me pass as a woman. Maybe I need to start wearing dresses, really make it easy for people :sigh

I know I don't look really ugly, and even if I did, it's still a much bigger deal that I am terrible with eye contact and talking with people. But yea, it's hard to work on that.


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## march_hare

I hate my profile and my big nose, so I always have my hair partially covering my face. Like some kind of emo kid! ( but I'm not emo , I promise ...)
I wouldn't call myself hideously ugly, but I'm definitely not attractive by any stretch of the imagination.


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## march_hare

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



sonya99 said:


> I remember being 12 years old with long flowing hair, and still hearing somebody say "is that a boy or a girl?"


the exact same thing happened to me!


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## mal

And me :sigh


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## eyedlemon

_"when i was a teen my parents would constantly tell me how ugly i was"_

Are you serious? How did you respond? I can't imagine a reason why a parent would ever feel the need to their child that. There aren't many worse things you can do to a child.

I'm pretty satisfied with myself. I clean up pretty nice when I shave and cut my hair well. I just need to be about 6" taller.


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## phoenixdown

Yep, I think I'm really ugly. The thing is, nobody's ever told me if I was ugly or not and I'm too scared to ask. Because nobody said anything I just assume I'm ugly.


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## zarathustra55

I know that I'm ugly...I've overheard people say so before. But I really don't blame my SA on it; I just try not to think about it.


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## scairy

lostwitness said:


> Every day when I look in the mirror I'm disgusted. Sometimes I think I wouldn't even be going through this if I was good looking my whole life.
> 
> Does anyone else think that they're ugly, and do you believe that this belief holds you back?


No. I know I'm ugly.:lol And being good looking wouldn't help. If I was good looking people would look at me for being good looking so they'd still be looking at me. Only difference is people would be looking at me for positive reasons but I'd still feel uncomfortable.


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## social_awkward_butterfly

GUMARO wrote: ''when i was a teen my parents would constantly tell me how ugly i was. when i was in my early 20s, i would get a lot of compliments on how attracrive i was. now i dont think i look that good but it doesnt bother anymore.'' The comment from your parents really bothers me! What a lousy , unloving thing to say to one's own child. I'm glad you became content with your looks as you matured and i'm sure you learned a life lesson from the good and bad that was said to you. In other words, remember how the nasty comments had affected you and say good to others.


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## sean88

I don't think I'm ugly, but I'm not a model. =P


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## Drella

Yes, I am appalling. I guess I could be worse, though. I hate how I look simply because I'm not amazingly attractive. For myself, "average" is unacceptable. I don't know why I feel like I have to be in the physically gorgeous elite to have even a slight amount of self-esteem. Well, I would probably be highly critical even if I looked like a super model.


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## Razorblade Kiss

Nah, not really, but I have my moments where I feel ugly.

Some of the comments in this thread remind me of an Elliott Smith lyric (how surprising):

_Just looking in the mirror will make you a brave man.
I know my place, hate my face..._


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## ardrum

I have definitely referred to myself as ugly before, but mostly in my teenage years. I don't use the word now, since I connotate it somewhat broadly to other factors (like personality). Regarding my physical attractiveness though, I find myself EXTREMELY unattractive and not at all sexually attractive.

I was teased for my red hair, pale skin, and short height (5'5"). I am fairly fit due to my love of running, but it doesn't make me look good. I have never had a girlfriend, and I am virtually never complimented on my looks (just from my mom, which does more harm than good). I come across as if I'm 15 or 16 years old, despite being 23. I think the evidence is in... I'm quite pathetic on looks.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/for ... d,381.html

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/for ... d,382.html



eyedlemon said:


> I'm pretty satisfied with myself. I clean up pretty nice when I shave and cut my hair well. I just need to be about 6" taller.


How tall are you? Are you shorter than my 5'5" ?



Strange Religion said:


> Nah, not really, but I have my moments where I feel ugly.
> 
> Some of the comments in this thread remind me of an Elliott Smith lyric (how surprising):
> 
> Just looking in the mirror will make you a brave man.
> I know my place, hate my face...


I love that song.


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## Ames105

it varies every day. Some days I think I look ugly others I think I'm passable. :lol


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## blackwidow

Yup I'm hideous, but I've learned to accept it. I can't even look into a mirror, my mind does something really warped with my image.

When people do compliment me I feel like it's out of pity, so that makes me feel even more awkward.


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## Sirius

'You're so ugly you'll probably have to become gay and sleep with men' - I was about 15 when someone said this to me.

Since the age of 12 I've been called ugly by people at school, random people in the street (girls mainly) and work colleagues. My nickname was 'freak' or 'weirdo' by one workmate.

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I think I'm incredibly brave to have lasted this long, lesser people would have given up by now if they'd been born with my face and body.

Being born with deformed toes, receding hairline at 17, fair skin that refuses to tan, a long neck, bad teeth, acne, weak chin, pigeon chest, glasses etc etc I could go on but who cares.


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## |30|3

I don't feel like I'm ugly, but I sometimes attribute me not able to get a date to my looks. Physically I'm not overweight, fat, or thin; I just lack regular exercise and am out of shape, but I for the most part eat right. I just lack confidence.


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## scairy

> I have never had a girlfriend, and I am virtually never complimented on my looks (just from my mom, which does more harm than good).


Yeah I know where you're coming from with the whole mom thing. I don't think you're a bad looking guy at all. I just thought up a fun game for us sa guys. We should go to a bar together and see who can get more numbers, lol. That would be hilarious and fun, and funny being that we're all going in with the whole sa issue.


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## meatwad

ardrum said:


> I have definitely referred to myself as ugly before, but mostly in my teenage years. I don't use the word now, since I connotate it somewhat broadly to other factors (like personality). Regarding my physical attractiveness though, I find myself EXTREMELY unattractive and not at all sexually attractive.
> 
> I was teased for my red hair, pale skin, and short height (5'5"). I am fairly fit due to my love of running, but it doesn't make me look good. I have never had a girlfriend, and I am virtually never complimented on my looks (just from my mom, which does more harm than good). I come across as if I'm 15 or 16 years old, despite being 23. I think the evidence is in... I'm quite pathetic on looks.
> 
> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/for ... d,381.html
> 
> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/for ... d,382.html
> 
> 
> 
> eyedlemon said:
> 
> 
> 
> I'm pretty satisfied with myself. I clean up pretty nice when I shave and cut my hair well. I just need to be about 6" taller.
> 
> 
> 
> How tall are you? Are you shorter than my 5'5" ?
> 
> 
> 
> Strange Religion said:
> 
> 
> 
> Nah, not really, but I have my moments where I feel ugly.
> 
> Some of the comments in this thread remind me of an Elliott Smith lyric (how surprising):
> 
> Just looking in the mirror will make you a brave man.
> I know my place, hate my face...
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I love that song.
Click to expand...

Nah, I wouldn't say you're pathetic. Your face isn't striking or anything, about average or maybe a bit below average(I'm not an expert ;p), but enough that a girl would find you handsome if she became attracted to you. It really does work that way.

As for your height, I am also short (5'5.5" -5'6") and it is an obstacle, but if you get the right attitude and work on your social skills you'll be fine. You may not get the dream girl you want (not to say attractive girls couldn't become attracted to you) but why would you wanna apply some double standard anyways?


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## phoenixdown

I've got you guys beat. I'm 5'4" and I'm not gonna grow any taller. :cry


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## Razorblade Kiss

Double post.


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## Razorblade Kiss

ardrum said:


> I have definitely referred to myself as ugly before, but mostly in my teenage years. I don't use the word now, since I connotate it somewhat broadly to other factors (like personality). Regarding my physical attractiveness though, I find myself EXTREMELY unattractive and not at all sexually attractive.
> 
> I was teased for my red hair, pale skin, and short height (5'5"). I am fairly fit due to my love of running, but it doesn't make me look good. I have never had a girlfriend, and I am virtually never complimented on my looks (just from my mom, which does more harm than good). I come across as if I'm 15 or 16 years old, despite being 23. I think the evidence is in... I'm quite pathetic on looks.
> 
> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/for ... d,381.html
> 
> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/for ... d,382.html
> 
> 
> 
> eyedlemon said:
> 
> 
> 
> I'm pretty satisfied with myself. I clean up pretty nice when I shave and cut my hair well. I just need to be about 6" taller.
> 
> 
> 
> How tall are you? Are you shorter than my 5'5" ?
> 
> 
> 
> Strange Religion said:
> 
> 
> 
> Nah, not really, but I have my moments where I feel ugly.
> 
> Some of the comments in this thread remind me of an Elliott Smith lyric (how surprising):
> 
> Just looking in the mirror will make you a brave man.
> I know my place, hate my face...
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I love that song.
Click to expand...

I'd hit it. hehe Seriously, you're attractive.


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## quiet_one

I go through periods of thinking I look okay and thinking I'm hideously ugly. Not too long ago my acne was completely out of control and I felt horrible about my appearance; it's finally starting to clear up now so I'm feeling better, but I'll never consider myself sexy or attractive; people have told me I'm cute/pretty but I just don't like my appearance most of the time.
Ardrum, I don't find you unattractive


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## LostinReverie

Holy **** yes. I absolutely hate it when people look at me. This is why I have isolated myself. I'm tired of being judged.

(I know I can take a good pic and have enjoyed the attention I receive from them, because I don't get any such attention in real life, but they do not portray my appearance accurately, trust me)


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## Razorblade Kiss

Don't be so hard on yourself libby. It's not like you put a completely different person in your pictures. You have beautiful hair, eyes and lips...not trying to get all lez on ya', but you know what I mean.


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## mal

I'd agree with everything above (ermmm :blush not the lez part, but you know).
It's the terror of SA when people can't see how lovely they look :hug


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## LostinReverie

Thanks for the encouragement guys, I really appreciate it.


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## augur_mike

Both in looks and lack of personality...


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## zolagerminal

*Christ I look awful*

I look so ugly I should be jumping out of air vents to grab Sigourney Weaver and dragging her back inside.


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## ardrum

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



scairy said:


> I have never had a girlfriend, and I am virtually never complimented on my looks (just from my mom, which does more harm than good).
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah I know where you're coming from with the whole mom thing. I don't think you're a bad looking guy at all. I just thought up a fun game for us sa guys. We should go to a bar together and see who can get more numbers, lol. That would be hilarious and fun, and funny being that we're all going in with the whole sa issue.
Click to expand...

 :lol This is a great idea.

It would be like A Night at the Roxbury, SA-style! Who will look least awkward!? Who will mumble the least!? Who will be able to get ANY eye contact?! It sounds like the next Reality TV show.


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## IcedOver

I'm average, leaning towards ugly.


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## Your Lover Scrub Ducky

< - - - - - As you can all clearly see from my avatar, I'm one sexy *****.


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## Vintz

*Re: Christ I look awful*



zolagerminal said:
 

> I look so ugly I should be jumping out of air vents to grab Sigourney Weaver and dragging her back inside.


 :lol

I'm average in the looks dept. so I make up for it by staying in shape. I am Italian, and thus, really hairy. It has contributed to a poor self image.


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## lostwitness

Scrub Ducky said:



> < - - - - - As you can all clearly see from my avatar, I'm one sexy *****.


I'd hit that.


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## TheRob

My looks definitely hold me back - not my face as much (although my eyelids droop as if I were an addict), but my skinny physique.


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## Meee

Yeah, I think so. Though I'm not actually sure. But probably. I mean noone's explicitly told me so, but who would?


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## Drella

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



Meee said:


> But probably. I mean noone's explicitly told me so, but who would?


People have explicitly told me that I am. :lol


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## lostwitness

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



Drella said:


> Meee said:
> 
> 
> 
> But probably. I mean noone's explicitly told me so, but who would?
> 
> 
> 
> People have explicitly told me that I am. :lol
Click to expand...

I've seen pretty hot people get called ugly a lot of times. And really ugly people getting called hot.

We all have different tastes my friend.


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## roseyred

People have told me that I am good looking. When I received my last job I was complimented by the HR director " Hey at least we hired someone thats good looking" but no matter what anybody says...I believe that my flaws are unaceptable and will ultimately lead to disappointment to the viewer and ultimately rejection.


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## barnabas

I don't think I'm ugly-ugly. I just need to, um, work on my overall look. x]


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## bezoomny

I don't really know. I don't think I am, but there are those days when I just feel like a monster and look like one too, that's when everything that I hate about myself gets really obvious - big nose, sickly pale, greasy skin, little eyes, etc. etc. etc.


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## ardrum

Here's a related pet peeve to feeling ugly/unattractive...

I hate how a female friend of mine might say "hey sexy" to me. If I were actually attractive, girls would probably be too embarrassed to say such a thing. Instead, it comes across as demeaning, although not intentionally.


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## NightinGale

ardrum said:


> I have definitely referred to myself as ugly before, but mostly in my teenage years. I don't use the word now, since I connotate it somewhat broadly to other factors (like personality). Regarding my physical attractiveness though, I find myself EXTREMELY unattractive and not at all sexually attractive.
> 
> I was teased for my red hair, pale skin, and short height (5'5"). I am fairly fit due to my love of running, but it doesn't make me look good. I have never had a girlfriend, and I am virtually never complimented on my looks (just from my mom, which does more harm than good). I come across as if I'm 15 or 16 years old, despite being 23. I think the evidence is in... I'm quite pathetic on looks.
> 
> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/for ... d,381.html
> 
> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/for ... d,382.html
> 
> 
> 
> eyedlemon said:
> 
> 
> 
> I'm pretty satisfied with myself. I clean up pretty nice when I shave and cut my hair well. I just need to be about 6" taller.
> 
> 
> 
> How tall are you? Are you shorter than my 5'5" ?
> 
> 
> 
> Strange Religion said:
> 
> 
> 
> Nah, not really, but I have my moments where I feel ugly.
> 
> Some of the comments in this thread remind me of an Elliott Smith lyric (how surprising):
> 
> Just looking in the mirror will make you a brave man.
> I know my place, hate my face...
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I love that song.
Click to expand...

Oh Ardrum you are soooo adorable! You remind me of that actor that plays in "Hot Fuzz" and "Sean of the Dead". Seriously, you are a cutie. And as far as height goes...I'm 5'1" so height doesn't mean much to me. Just aim for the shorties <3


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## NightinGale

ardrum said:


> Here's a related pet peeve to feeling ugly/unattractive...
> 
> I hate how a female friend of mine might say "hey sexy" to me. If I were actually attractive, girls would probably be too embarrassed to say such a thing. Instead, it comes across as demeaning, although not intentionally.


And y'know...sexiness can be overrated. You may not be sexy, but being cute and adorable and cuddle-able (which you are) are just as wonderful. They're less intimidating qualities and qualities that last beyond sexiness. You'll never have a strictly sexual relationship with someone who is just so f*cking adorable--you'll fall in love with them.


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## korey

I think my face can be attractive if my acne isn't acting up, but as for the rest of my body....barf. I weigh almost 100 pounds more than I should, and I am endlessly hairy and stretchmarked. Whoever invented the gym apparently didn't have social anxiety, nor did s/he consider the possibility that there are some who would enjoy staying physically fit without having to socialize. The same goes for whoever invented public restrooms. Would two or three _single_ public restrooms really be that big of a difference from the one giant piss-and-crap closet they call most of today's public restrooms? I doubt it.


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## ardrum

NightinGale,

I remind you of an actor?! Simon Pegg? Excuse my shock, but I've just never heard any comparison between me and anyone in a movie besides the Hermey character from the 1964 Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Yes, I've been referred to as that character. Oh, and my nickname throughout high school was "Opie" from The Andy Griffith Show. Again, I'm made out to be a child.

I wouldn't say I've ever wanted to be "sexy." I'm not a very sexual person at all. I've just wanted to not feel physically inferior in my appearance. I just don't want to feel discriminated against when there is very little I can do about my appearance.

While I recognize the existence of complimentary statements, it should be known that I have a sophisticated system for discounting them. For instance, I don't recognize online compliments as meaning a whole lot, since they're easier to give than in person. I'm not saying you're not being honest, but I am saying that I have a hard time accepting such statements when the overwhelming impression I've received throughout my life seems to suggest that I have unacceptable looks that make me out to be an unattractive (if not ugly) teenager or child, despite my age.


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## UltraShy

I'm average at best. Plenty of others on SAS take down their pics soon after posting and they look far better than me.


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## NightinGale

ardrum said:


> For instance, I don't recognize online compliments as meaning a whole lot, since they're easier to give than in person. I'm not saying you're not being honest, but I am saying that I have a hard time accepting such statements when the overwhelming impression I've received throughout my life seems to suggest that I have unacceptable looks that make me out to be an unattractive (if not ugly) teenager or child, despite my age.


I'll just have to try harder


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## Labyssum

I think I've always been ugly.... :hide Other people say I'm beautiful though..I just don't see it. :sigh


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## Mehitabel

I've always thought I'm ugly. The only person to ever call me that was my sister, who did it on a constant basis while I was growing up, and I guess it stuck very well. I'm getting better now. My boyfriend is doing a good job at trying to stamp out my self esteem issues.


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## Matt'sLady

I don't feel as attractive as I should on some days, but overall I know that I am at the very least cute and close to stunning on my best day.


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## kowabonga

I guess i look alright in some ways but i'm not very fit (working on it...ehm) and i'm not a very good dresser.


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## ardrum

NightinGale said:


> ardrum said:
> 
> 
> 
> For instance, I don't recognize online compliments as meaning a whole lot, since they're easier to give than in person. I'm not saying you're not being honest, but I am saying that I have a hard time accepting such statements when the overwhelming impression I've received throughout my life seems to suggest that I have unacceptable looks that make me out to be an unattractive (if not ugly) teenager or child, despite my age.
> 
> 
> 
> I'll just have to try harder
Click to expand...

 :lol 
I'd need to be in some kind of brainwashing camp where everyone complimented me for 15 years straight. Even then though, it might not sink in since I'd know it was staged brainwashing.


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## READFIN

I am 6' 5" and weight well over 200#s. I am neither fat nor muscular.
I have acne scars,slightly noticeable broken nose along with scars on both ears and below my chin.

I still consider myseld skinny, since I grew up horribly underweight.

Sometime back I had gone with a very good looking girl. She had
told me that I was very good looking.......I dumped her. I didn't want
to go with someone who lies to me.

The SA gives us all a negative perception.


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## katelyn

I always think I'm ugly, since I don't have straight teeth because my dentist was not good when I was younger. I also have the kind of hair that always looks messy unless you spend hours on it each day, which I'm not willing to do. Furthermore, I am just 5 ft tall. All of these things have caused negative comments in the past. I am working on improving my appearance nowadays though, but I think I'll never be happy with how I look until I learn to like myself.


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## njodis

w


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## Speak Easy

There seems to be such a positive correlation between social anxiety and not being happy with the way one looks. I don't consider myself ugly, but I don't consider myself good-looking. Sometimes, I become extremely self-conscious and I will go as far as thinking that I'm really ugly, but not often. Not sure how to explain the way I feel about my looks, actually. I know I'm not ugly, but I feel as if I am :stu. I'm rambling...


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## Speak Easy

Njodis said:


> but you can tell just by the way other people react to you. If I see myself in the mirror or a picture, I sometimes feel like I look ok, but if I catch a glimpse of myself in public, in a store or whatever, I feel like Sloth from the Goonies movie.


Not feeling like you look good in public places is obviously because your entire atmosphere is different in social instances. You are probably more relaxed in a closed setting and appear that way. I also feel like some girls don't look at me sometimes, and that makes me mad. However, I am well aware that it's due to my countenance. If we aren't happy, then we aren't smiling, and if we aren't smiling we probably won't be attracting every single girl we pass.


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## quiet_one

It's always somewhat traumatizing for me to catch glimpses of myself in mirrors/windows out in public


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## justlistening

I look kinda strange, it's like the things aren't placed proportionately on my face. :con 
And you would think everyone got at least a symmetric face to start with ... Well, not even that!


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## beckjcream

i use to think i was good looking but after recieving absolutely no attention from any woman in the least 7 years of my life i think its pretty easy to conclude that im no where near good looking. i mean i have a good build, good haircut, wear somewhat fashionable clothing and yet can't get a cute girl to even glance my way. i think my main problem is that im only attracted to girls who are "out of my league."


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## ardrum

Njodis said:


> Many, if not most, of the women demand that guys be 6'0"+ to even send them a message.


Exactly! You never see "Must be under 5'6" even when the girls aren't too tall themselves. I just don't see why so many girls have an obsession with a guy's height. I'm much less shallow and much less demanding than the average girl seems to be when it comes to height.



quiet_one said:


> It's always somewhat traumatizing for me to catch glimpses of myself in mirrors/windows out in public


Yeah, I had that experience yesterday. I was at a restaurant, and I went to the restroom, and I saw myself in the restroom mirror. Freak show face. I think sometimes the lighting has something to do with showing flaws more, but it is a disabling experience for me to see myself in the mirror in situations like that.


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## badmoonrison

Yeah sometimes I get really down on my appearance... I think my head is kind of a weird shape, it's too tall. My forehead is kind of big... I normally hide it with long bangs though. Still it's hard to find girls that are attracted to me... :sigh


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## ardrum

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



badmoonrison said:


> Yeah sometimes I get really down on my appearance... I think my head is kind of a weird shape, it's too tall. My forehead is kind of big... I normally hide it with long bangs though. Still it's hard to find girls that are attracted to me... :sigh


I just wanted to comment that you have the greatest avatar of all time!


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## katelyn

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



ardrum said:


> Njodis said:
> 
> 
> 
> Many, if not most, of the women demand that guys be 6'0"+ to even send them a message.
> 
> 
> 
> Exactly! You never see "Must be under 5'6" even when the girls aren't too tall themselves. I just don't see why so many girls have an obsession with a guy's height. I'm much less shallow and much less demanding than the average girl seems to be when it comes to height.
Click to expand...

I find this very surprising. I didn't even know people had this attitude about height. I know many girls like guys who are taller than them, but here there are a lot of short guys, including my boyfriend, and they all appear just as confident and attractive as anyone else. After all, if a girl is short, it is just not practical to be with a tall guy! Are people smaller here or something?


----------



## Nae

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



katelyn said:


> ardrum said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Njodis said:
> 
> 
> 
> Many, if not most, of the women demand that guys be 6'0"+ to even send them a message.
> 
> 
> 
> Exactly! You never see "Must be under 5'6" even when the girls aren't too tall themselves. I just don't see why so many girls have an obsession with a guy's height. I'm much less shallow and much less demanding than the average girl seems to be when it comes to height.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I find this very surprising. I didn't even know people had this attitude about height. I know many girls like guys who are taller than them, but here there are a lot of short guys, including my boyfriend, and they all appear just as confident and attractive as anyone else. After all, if a girl is short, it is just not practical to be with a tall guy! Are people smaller here or something?
Click to expand...

Even if a girl is short (and this _is_ a generalization, so don't jump all over me) women still prefer tall men and not in the subjective sense: Girl is very short, guy is shorter than average, women still selectively would prefer a taller man. As humans we are all very good at self deception when it comes to how much our subconscious plays a role in mate selection, imo.

As for myself, I switch between not liking my looks and being okay with my looks. I work out and am in decent physical shape so my main problem relies upon my facial structure. I'm pretty sure I have some form of BDD about my looks because I can become obsessive about certain features.

However everyone there is hope if you think you are ugly. I have posted a link to this article before, but hopefully a wider audience that needs to read it will if I post it here:

It is about 3 studies done by the evolutionary biologist Wilson on how personality and social attitudes and acts change our view of a persons actual physical beauty as rated by say, a general population. This goes _against_ the commonly held thought that 'what is beautiful is good'

http://www.news.wisc.edu/releases/9679.html

You can find a .pdf of the three studies on google scholar if you wish to read the details in-depth.

By the way, a touching note, which I found out by reading Wilson's book Evolution For Everyone: What first gave him the idea to conduct these studies was his personal relationship and eventual marriage to a fellow grad student whom he met while on a school trip. He was an awkward, shy type for one. For second, out of all the women in his class he did not find himself attracted to his eventual wife. And finally, she did not seem like the personality type that would go for him because she seemed outgoing and being wooed by much better looking and outgoing guys. When he asked her what attracted her to him, it was the very fact that he was a quiet type and seemed to have a passion for his work. It was a really great chapter in the book.


----------



## quiet_one

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



ardrum said:


> Njodis said:
> 
> 
> 
> Many, if not most, of the women demand that guys be 6'0"+ to even send them a message.
> 
> 
> 
> Exactly! You never see "Must be under 5'6" even when the girls aren't too tall themselves. I just don't see why so many girls have an obsession with a guy's height. I'm much less shallow and much less demanding than the average girl seems to be when it comes to height.
Click to expand...

 - I must be the exception because I don't like it when a guy is too tall; maybe it's because I'm so short myself (I'm 5'1). I prefer guys who are in the 5'1 to 5'10 range approximately. I've never really understood why so many girls go after tall guys. I feel weird when I have to crane my neck to look up at somebody, lol.
Maybe that'll make you all feel a little better, lol


----------



## ardrum

Very interesting article, Nae.

I find it interesting that there was one time in my life in which I actually had two girls interested in me (not simultaneously). Both were in a specific setting, where I worked at a movie theater. I learned to be a very confident, social animal in this setting, and perhaps that had an impact... who knows though, it might have been a coincidence. I still find it hard to believe that it was a coincidence that I attracted attention from female coworkers at work and NO ATTENTION at all in school. I was like two different people, and I really liked my work personality.

I wouldn't say it was an entirely positive experience being liked though, as one of the girls ended up stalking me for LONG time. She broke into my manager's office to get my original job application (to get my contact information), and she begged me to take her to movies and the prom. I felt bad for her, but I didn't have anything in common with her. She already had a boyfriend when she met me, but she didn't seem very loyal to him (obviously). All that I ever did before she grew to like me was show her the ropes of the job (I trained her) and just be a generally nice person.

I've never had any such luck with meeting people since that one setting in my teenage years.



quiet_one said:


> - I must be the exception because I don't like it when a guy is too tall; maybe it's because I'm so short myself (I'm 5'1). I prefer guys who are in the 5'1 to 5'10 range approximately. I've never really understood why so many girls go after tall guys. I feel weird when I have to crane my neck to look up at somebody, lol.
> Maybe that'll make you all feel a little better, lol


Yeah, there are definitely exceptions out there. Of the two girls who have ever showed an interest in me, one was shorter than me and one was taller. I just wish the exceptions were more common.


----------



## LostinReverie

To all the guys *****ing about the height thing:

Do you honestly want to be with a girl who is taller than you? In general, the male ego can't handle it. So there's my generalization in response to yours. 

It's hard being a tall girl too.

So sit down and shut up.

Yeah, I'm a *****.. and not particularily in the best mood at the moment.


----------



## ardrum

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



libbyberk83 said:


> To all the guys *****ing about the height thing:
> 
> Do you honestly want to be with a girl who is taller than you? In general, the male ego can't handle it. So there's my generalization in response to yours.
> 
> It's hard being a tall girl too.
> 
> So sit down and shut up.
> 
> Yeah, I'm a *****.. and not particularily in the best mood at the moment.


Well, the only girl I've ever really liked was at least 3 inches taller than me, and I have never noticed any preference whatsoever for girls who are taller than me vs. shorter than me.

There's no reason for anyone to "shut up" though. If most guys reject you due to your height, you're in the same boat I'm in.


----------



## winduptoy

I have times when I think I'm ugly (usually seeing my reflection in public places, like some of you), but mostly I think I'm average.

I personally love short guys - I think it's cute! I'm only 5'4" myself, so I don't want a guy who I have to look way up at. Any height a few inches below or above my own is fine with me.


----------



## LostinReverie

I apologize for my moodiness, especially to Njodis. 

My comment was inappropriate.

Libby


----------



## noregrets

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



libbyberk83 said:


> It's hard being a tall girl too.


How tall are you by the way?  I know some guys who seem to prefer tall girls, even those taller than themselves...


----------



## LostinReverie

5'10" 

I seem to be attracted to males that are 5'6" and under, so I've cursed my height more than once. Also, I cannot stand it when shorter girls stand too close to me. I will step back. I don't want anyone to think, "Hey, look, there's a normal girl... and what the hell is that standing next to her?"


----------



## Zephyr

That really isn't THAT tall. No joke, I knew a girl in high school who was about 6'5 or 6'6. She towered over everyone. Skinny as a beanpole too.


----------



## kokoloko

No I dont think Im ugly but I often worry I am boring and speak in monotone


----------



## jtb3485

actually, no. Maybe that's a positive step or something.


----------



## 0rchid

Yes I think I'm ugly. And fat. I mean I'm not obese or anything, I'm ~140 lbs and wear a size 8-10 but I can't stand the way I look in the mirror or in photographs. That's the basis of my SA, my lack of confidence.


----------



## Noca

i feel ugly at times


----------



## UltraShy

0rchid said:


> Yes I think I'm ugly. And fat. I mean I'm not obese or anything, I'm ~140 lbs and wear a size 8-10 but I can't stand the way I look in the mirror or in photographs. That's the basis of my SA, my lack of confidence.


How tall are you? 140 would not look fat on most women. In fact, it looks fairly thin on tall women.


----------



## UltraShy

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



libbyberk83 said:


> 5'10"
> 
> I seem to be attracted to males that are 5'6" and under, so I've cursed my height more than once. Also, I cannot stand it when shorter girls stand too close to me. I will step back. I don't want anyone to think, "Hey, look, there's a normal girl... and what the hell is that standing next to her?"


You do realize that 5'10" is standard size for a super model, so some would deem it positive. It's funny seeing rich & famous guys like Tom Cruise with a hot chick who towers over them. I'm 6'0". Rarely is a woman taller than me, but one time I met this woman who was 6'3" and I felt like a dwarf next to her. I don't expect to have to look up to see a girl.


----------



## millenniumman75

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



libbyberk83 said:


> 5'10"
> 
> I seem to be attracted to males that are 5'6" and under, so I've cursed my height more than once. Also, I cannot stand it when shorter girls stand too close to me. I will step back. I don't want anyone to think, "Hey, look, there's a normal girl... and what the hell is that standing next to her?"


5'10" is not a bad height . I am 6'3" myself.

To see myself in pictures, yes, I think my face could stop time. I am beginning to become comfortable in my looks though. I look like my European dad and American mom, and wouldn't have it any other way - even with my Hungarian nose :lol.


----------



## phoenixdown

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



libbyberk83 said:


> 5'10"
> 
> I seem to be attracted to males that are 5'6" and under, so I've cursed my height more than once. "


Whoa awesome, I'm 5'6" and under. Can you be my amazonian mistress?

haha kidding kidding. :lol


----------



## LostinReverie

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



phoenixdown said:


> libbyberk83 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 5'10"
> 
> I seem to be attracted to males that are 5'6" and under, so I've cursed my height more than once. "
> 
> 
> 
> Whoa awesome, I'm 5'6" and under. Can you be my amazonian mistress?
> 
> haha kidding kidding. :lol
Click to expand...

Better watch yourself, boy


----------



## phoenixdown

Yes maam.

:hs


----------



## tinselhair

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



libbyberk83 said:


> Holy @#%$ yes. I absolutely hate it when people look at me. This is why I have isolated myself. I'm tired of being judged.
> 
> (I know I can take a good pic and have enjoyed the attention I receive from them, because I don't get any such attention in real life, but they do not portray my appearance accurately, trust me)


That is very interesting to hear you say LibbyBerk83, because when I was young I was overweight by about 10 pounds, wore glasses and everyone ridiculed me--my parents and brother and sister never took up for me--and of course I couldn't take up for myself.

Then, when I turned 14, I lost weight, got contact lenses, and turned cute. I got lots and lots of attention from EVERYONE! It was freaky, scary, and very bad for me because I couldn't defend myself against predators. (mostly sexual predators)

My parents finally acknowleged me for something--lsoing weight and turning pretty--I was no longer an _ugly duckling_* who stank. My mom and sister used to talk about me in the bedroom beside ours (my older sister's and mine) and say how digustingly fat and ugly I was and that I stank. Well, duh, someone needed to tell me to use deodorant--I was totally alone growing up.

The only positive thing my parents ever told me was that I was thin and pretty, and of course "creative" (another word for SA in my house). I considered that quite a compliment. BTW I had a Pollock dream. It was fantastic!

Sorry--I am trying to make a long story short...anyway....Finally, after I had a child, gained weight and became overweight--my husband divorced me, my parents and friends no longer complimented me for being thin and pretty....and now

as far as my dad is concerned, I hardly exist again.

Fortunately, I am a true grown-up now, and no longer care (as much). I have a good life. I like myself. I am happy.

Looks aren't the only thing that counts--dear SA friends. Personality far outweighs all that outer garbage that the media says is #1.

Looks fade eventually. People gain/lose weight--muscle mass (even if you work out)--if we are lucky--we get old(er) and wiser.

I like to think I'm in the older and wiser category now.

Work on your insides and your outsides will follow.



Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Click to expand...

Love and encouagement to all of you Beautiful SA-friends out there! :group :yay

Love, Star :sas *


----------



## njodis

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



phoenixdown said:


> libbyberk83 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 5'10"
> 
> I seem to be attracted to males that are 5'6" and under, so I've cursed my height more than once. "
> 
> 
> 
> Whoa awesome, I'm 5'6" and under. Can you be my amazonian mistress?
> 
> haha kidding kidding. :lol
Click to expand...

Oh yeah? You're gonna have to get through me first! :duel

:twisted


----------



## travo

I have dark circles under my eyes from being a night owl too much... so I look pretty nasty imo


----------



## Nae

I had a great talk with my therapist on my insecurities about my looks. However I still don't like the way I look and I'd go so far as to say I _hate_ my looks at times. It is so ingrained into my psyche. Bringing the subject up was even difficult, and it happened in a roundabout way as I was speaking of the paranoia I felt when others looked at me, and he sorta guessed one of the reasons.

He gave me some reassurance, not only from a purely physical aspect but from my relaxed poise...at least when I am in a somewhat comfortable atmosphere and it can show itself. Normally I would completely reject the opinion of others on this topic _especially_ from a therapist. But the difference is I feel he is genuine in his opinion. He is a rather introverted and eccentric guy himself, which I remember noting the first time I saw him (He was wearing fuzzy slippers and casual pants. At work).

But the most important part was with what he shared. He was a painfully shy guy growing up, so much so that he'd latch onto anyone who would give him attention. He did not appreciate himself, his looks and his personality until he was in his 30's. This was a revelation to me: Here is a guy who'd I would consider good looking, confident, and extremely successful. And yet it took him 3 decades to get to the point where he could objectively judge himself, which is something I would have never guessed from speaking to a guy who is so intelligent, aware, and knowledgeable. I'd have assumed he realized these things about himself long before he was in his 30s. The important point I took away from this was that perhaps, just perhaps, how I view myself may not be entirely correct and maybe I need to challenge those views. Perhaps _you_ do, as well?


----------



## maidmarion

lostwitness said:


> Does anyone else think that they're ugly, and do you believe that this belief holds you back?


Well no I don't think I'm ugly and neither should you.

Always remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Don't be so hard on yourself.. just concentrate on the things you do like about yourself.

You probably have lovely eyes etc.


----------



## Darkon

I believe I am ugly. But then again I could be wrong, since my brain tends to blow things way out of proportion.


----------



## Stanley

Yes


----------



## Zephyr

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



travo said:


> I have dark circles under my eyes from being a night owl too much... so I look pretty nasty imo


I have those too, but they're not from staying up late. They're just there. They're also kind of loose and puffy. Just one of my many flaws...


----------



## Drella

Well, I'm no oil painting.


----------



## Rygon

I dont think i need plastic surgery but i still feel like crap out side.


----------



## ardrum

I think since the last time I posted, I think women are much more likely to be not attracted to me due to looking like a child and being unassertive rather than specifically looking "ugly." What 20-something would be interesed in a guy who looks 14-15 (on average... it can go as low as 12 though). I am not a big, aggressive guy, so that cancels out any women who would want to be around a guy who can "protect them." 

In any case, I consider this change to be an improvement, since I think I have a better idea of why I'm less attractive than simply saying "I'm ugly."


----------



## srschirm

ardrum said:


> I think since the last time I posted, I think women are much more likely to be not attracted to me due to looking like a child and being unassertive rather than specifically looking "ugly." What 20-something would be interesed in a guy who looks 14-15 (on average... it can go as low as 12 though). I am not a big, aggressive guy, so that cancels out any women who would want to be around a guy who can "protect them."
> 
> In any case, I consider this change to be an improvement, since I think I have a better idea of why I'm less attractive than simply saying "I'm ugly."


A lot of people have told me I look like I'm 18, and when I say I recently graduated, they ask if it was from high school, heh.

On the other hand, I'd say it's about 50/50 if I get carded when I buy drinks at the grocery store.


----------



## kidA

I really wanted to go through and read all of these, but I haven't yet. I will, I promise, I'm just eager to answer the question...lol.

For me, it's very on and off. I'm very tall (6'7") and sometimes I really hate it because I feel a bit abnormal. Somedays I think I'm good looking, someday I look in the mirror and just want to break the glass.

I suppose everyone is a little self conscious, but we, being socially anxious, are probably a little bit more prone to it.

P.S. I don't think anyone is inherently ugly. I think everyone has a beauty 'potential' that they are capable of reaching as long as they are willing. But that's just physical beauty I'm talking about it. I've been some really amazing people who I'm not necesarily attracted to it first glance, but after talking to them, I find myself being drawn to them.


----------



## SilentProphet

I have a brown bag over my head as i post this.


----------



## nothing to fear

yes, i think i am the most unattractive person i've ever seen. i'm constantly self-consious because of that, some days i can deal with it but other days i can't even leave the house, and i feel so ****ing hopeless and like life isn't worth living because of how i look. :sigh


----------



## beatlegeuce

yes

editage eight lol, better late than never


----------



## Halcyon

yes, i have days when i look in the mirror and won't go out because i think i'm ugly and think people will somehow judge me poorly because of that...then there are good days when i'm like whoa i think i look good lets show off now


----------



## LostinReverie

nothing_to_fear said:


> yes, i think i am the most unattractive person i've ever seen. i'm constantly self-consious because of that, some days i can deal with it but other days i can't even leave the house, and i feel so @#%$ hopeless and like life isn't worth living because of how i look. :sigh


:ditto


----------



## Zen Mechanics

Yes and no.. sometimes I think i look pretty good.. and i know at least i keep fit and in shape.. but sometimes, even knowing i've been called 'good looking' or whatever before, i'll just feel completely ugly. makes approaching girls pretty difficult because i assume i'm gonna get shot down so i never bother


----------



## lizstar

I don't think I'm ugly, but there are a few things I don't like about my appearance and feel self-concious about. The #1 thing is my teeth...my parents could never afford braces for me as a child, and as a result I have a pretty major overbite that can now only be fixed with surgery PLUS braces. (the annoying thing is that now I COULD afford braces....just not the $20,000 surgery!)

Other minor things include my less-than-perfect complexion (lots of blackheads, a few zits here and there), and some stretchmarks/saggy skin due to the fact that I was quite heavy around the time I hit puberty.

Overall though, I feel a lot better about my appearance than I did as a teenager. The problem with my teeth isn't noticable when I have my mouth closed, my skin isn't too bad unless you look closely at it, and the stretchmarks are mostly covered with clothing. People don't laugh/whisper and point at me anymore (like they occasionally would when I was overweight), and some people have actually referred to me as "attractive"!


----------



## Shauna The Dead

Inturmal said:


> We all know that beauty is on the inside.
> and that makes me ugly.


me too, apparently...sometimes people like me at first based on appearance, but eventually... usually nobody likes my personality.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

same here people to seem to be drawn on my apperance but then lose interests fast with my personality. however, I do somehow think im ugly and I think the reason is because Im not some macho role model. I dont think Im the only one that feels like that.


----------



## Tonic

removee


----------



## LostinReverie

No, but it helps to let it out


----------



## nothing to fear

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



dunnowhattodonemore said:


> I hate my face, I @#%$ hate my face. and my body.
> I just can't imagine living in the body for the rest of my life.


same here, i hate so much that i am stuck in this body. i think about it everynight and i wonder what is the point if am this ugly. no one would ever want to be with me and if they were i'm sure it was out of desperation and/or pity. 
i just don't even want to be associated with my face AT ALL. i don't want it to be a part of me. i hate every single picture of me, the more often i see it the worse i feel. i have these grade 8 grad pictures that are on the fridge and the fire place of my grandma's house... when they were first done (5 years ago) i would always cover them up, i don't do that anymore but lately i have been thinking of taking them and lighting them on fire, because i just can't stand for others and me to see my disgusting face all the time.

(i'm sorry to everyone for being so negative, i hope this doens't make anyone feel worse..)


----------



## Meee

I hate pictures of me too :\

There aren't any pictures of me since a few years back, except for a couple that I was either forced into or they were taken when I was unaware and I couldn't destroy them (believe me I try). I don't hate pictures of me from the past. In my old passport photo, when I was about 14, and another taken at around the same time, I actually look normal. Now i just look horrible >_<

I know it's still possible to achieve things despite my looks, because I've been ignoring the way I feel about my appearance lately and I am managing to make some progress with my life. But then every so often I get reminded of how, uh.. less than perfect I look and it's a major blow to my self confidence. I end up wanting to just hide in the house all day (which, you know, kind of screws things up). There was a documentary filmed in the UK called 'too ugly too love' (about BDD sufferers).. well, I think the title pretty much fits me. And no, I don't think I have BDD.



nothing_to_fear said:


> same here, i hate so much that i am stuck in this body. i think about it everynight and i wonder what is the point if am this ugly.


I know what you mean.. when I've been seriously depressed I've had the same thoughts. I really wish I could change how I look.. I don't want to look like a model, I just want to look normal for ****s sake. If cosmetic surgery actually worked I'd probably seriously consider that, but half the time people seem to end up looking worse.

Oh well


----------



## sadnalone

i dont think im ugly yet i can never look myself in the mirror


----------



## Razorblade Kiss

I don't think I'm ugly, but I feel like I'll never be pretty enough.
There's always someone better looking, what's the point...


----------



## Speak Easy

Does anyone think that they wouldn't have SA if they were better looking, or that their SA solely stems from their bad looks?


----------



## LostinReverie

Yes


----------



## terrific81

i dont like my face lol


----------



## Drella

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



Speak Easy said:


> Does anyone think that they wouldn't have SA if they were better looking, or that their SA solely stems from their bad looks?


No, I had social anxiety way before I developed insecurities about my physical appearance. Though, if I looked like Jessica Alba, I'm fairly certain that many situations I find myself in wouldn't provoke nearly as much anxiety. My SA stems from much deeper issues than my physical appearance. Still, maybe if I were more attractive, people would have wanted to be around me when I was younger, and perhaps that would have pulled me out of my shell.


----------



## Mayflower 2000

I think I've been looking uglier and uglier in recent months, somehow. It's to the point where I think I should finally actually try to look decent when I go out in public. Maybe I'll shave, comb my hair, and wear matching clothes for once? 
I do think that there are a lot of things that people can do to make themselves look better. Each individual has a fairly unique thing that will work best for them. Or so I hear. I haven't thought about it much, but maybe that will help my anxiety a bit if I start? And I'll actually make some friends? :lol That would be neat.

There are some things though that I like that a lot of people probably dislike about my appearance. Like my skinny skinny body. Or my second hand clothes. Ohh so weak upper body. Or when I have long hair. Or when I shave my legs. Stuffs like that. And above all, I can't change my slightly ****ed up posture and demeanor... or at least I don't want to.


----------



## Hermit the Frog

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



Speak Easy said:


> Does anyone think that they wouldn't have SA if they were better looking, or that their SA solely stems from their bad looks?


I'd speculate that they coincide more with SA's tendency to be accompanied with depression and/or a lack of self confidence. I notice that when I'm more depressed, I abhor what I see in the mirror. It's like every flaw in my appearance is magnified.

When I'm not feeling so down, I feel a lot better about my appearance. I mean, I'm not model or anything, but I'm hardly Sasquatch. I'd place money on that being true for everyone that doesn't like how they look here too.



ardrum said:


> I think since the last time I posted, I think women are much more likely to be not attracted to me due to looking like a child and being unassertive rather than specifically looking "ugly." What 20-something would be interesed in a guy who looks 14-15 (on average... it can go as low as 12 though). I am not a big, aggressive guy, so that cancels out any women who would want to be around a guy who can "protect them."
> 
> In any case, I consider this change to be an improvement, since I think I have a better idea of why I'm less attractive than simply saying "I'm ugly."


Ever considered growing facial hair? That helped me to look older.


----------



## nothing to fear

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



Speak Easy said:


> Does anyone think that they wouldn't have SA if they were better looking, or that their SA solely stems from their bad looks?


not exactly... i would still have SA, depression, etc.. but i still think my life would be completely different and easier if i was attractive, and i would at least have hope and something to hang on to.


----------



## Razorblade Kiss

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



Speak Easy said:


> Does anyone think that they wouldn't have SA if they were better looking, or that their SA solely stems from their bad looks?


No. Not these days anyway. If I was asked this when I was in junior high during my chubby phase or the bad skin phase in high school, I probably would've said yes.


----------



## RubyTuesday

I actually was figuring to my self that I would trade my good looks for an ability to get on with people minus my deep insecurities and anxieties. That I would choose even to be physically unnatractive if I could only be easy going with people.

And, no I don't think looks have much to do with social anxiety. At another forum, many people with social anxiety were on the good looking side.

In a way, it can be worse to be attractive as people presume that you will also be out going. Also, for all the good self-esteem I had when I was younger about my ability to attract the opposite sex -it's a bit of a tragedy because my issues get in the way. Perhaps that's why I've avoided relationships even when I've had the opportunity and the rest of the time I never created opportunity.


----------



## Razorblade Kiss

Trading your good looks would just give you another set of problems.
You're not the first person on here who said people assume attractive people are outgoing. I guess I never noticed that. I know I wouldn't look at someone and think to myself "Oh, he or she is good looking, that must mean they're outgoing!" It just doesn't equate like that in my head.

...and if people assume you're outgoing, so what?
Just be yourself and prove that you're not like that. Big deal.
It's not like you have to be who people think you are.


----------



## RubyTuesday

Strange Religion.... are you familiar with someone telling you: "Just don't worry about what other's think. Big deal."
Well, no offence, however your advice is a bit like listening to the kettle calling the pot black.

I agree, though, with your sentiments that all we do really is trade one set of problems with another. And, so I don't therefore see any connection between looks and social anxiety.

Perhaps for people who (according to their opinion at least) are not good looking, this is one aspect in which their confidence is effected. For people with good looks or who at least see themselves in such a way and therefore are confident in this way, their confidence can be effected by the expectation to be how they first appear. ...either way, looks don't change having social anxiety even if they shift a few of the issues around a little.

Your idea "It's not like you have to be who people think you are" is a great ideal, it's just that I don't believe many people are particualarly successful at achieving this -and I'm not merely talking of the socially anxious for whom this inner conflict is more obviously visible. And maybe that's why I don't feel so ashamed to say that I am not who I really am when around others. Your argument is to be who I am and right now (one aspect of) who I am is 'socially anxious' -why should I pretend that I am not?


----------



## whatnow

Alright, WHEW, I've finally read all 10 pages! :yes

It seems like most people here are pretty down on themselves about their looks. There weren't a whole lot of pictures, but I definitely didn't see anything I didn't like, and I'm sure, like most negative perceptions about ourselves, it's probably not as bad as it seems.

I remember in high school being absolutely OBSESSED with how ugly I was. I hated hated HATED being freakishly tall (5'11"), my big nose, my cleft chin, my acne, lips, eyebrows, hair, how skinny I was, how fat I was. You name it, I probably had a complex about it at some point. :afr

I even remember earlier on in college having a dream that I got plastic surgery and thinking "Oh God, I'm finally normal looking! I can finally interact normally because I don't look like a freak any more!" Urgh, painful.

Anyway, at some point I started to enjoy the way I looked, accept my faults as being unique features, and dress myself up a little bit. Accepting yourself definitely helps, and even now I can tell that I get completely opposite responses depending on whether I dress down in baggy sweats or dress up with all the trimmings . . though I don't know how much of that is how I look, how much my perception, and how much the vibe of my attitude.

This is a recent picture:
http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos- ... 5_3057.jpg
(geez, even looking at that picture long enough I can scrutinize and find a million faults, cest las vie)

. . and I sure hope I don't know any of you, b/c I keep my SA well-hidden, and that would be embarrassing!! :fall

Anyway, I don't think that how you look necessarily has a lot to do with SA. I used to tell myself that if only I weren't so ugly, I could interact perfectly normally. Now liking the way I look can even be a problem. I'll get paranoid that people, especially boys, are only hanging around me for the way I look, and must be barely tolerating my personality . . or any sort of neurotic fantasies along those lines.

The encouraging thing though, is that I think anxieties about the way you look are a lot like SA. They can be completely unreal and blown out of proportion, but I know from personal experience, even though my appearance hasn't changed that much, my perception of it certainly has. I believe if you can learn to accept all qualities about yourself and look at them objectively, that you'll really start to appreciate the good parts, and maybe even appreciate the faults for how the fit into the bigger picture of you, and contribute to your uniqueness. :b

Garsh, sorry that was really frickin long . . now I'm off on the never-ending search for a way too follow my own dreamy advice and ACTUALLY like myself. :stu


----------



## katelyn

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



Speak Easy said:


> Does anyone think that they wouldn't have SA if they were better looking, or that their SA solely stems from their bad looks?


I was teased a lot about my appearance in primary school, in particular my teeth and hair. I think this did affect my SA a lot, because when I do the CBT exercises to find my beliefs, one of them always seems to be "I am ugly". However there's no way that that was the only cause - if I had not been shy in the first place I would probably have answered people back and that would have been the end of it. Although I am still very self-conscious about those things and trying to improve them, when I look back I see that I probably looked around average, and certainly not ugly.


----------



## Razorblade Kiss

RubyTuesday said:


> Strange Religion.... are you familiar with someone telling you: "Just don't worry about what other's think. Big deal."
> Well, no offence, however your advice is a bit like listening to the kettle calling the pot black.
> 
> I agree, though, with your sentiments that all we do really is trade one set of problems with another. And, so I don't therefore see any connection between looks and social anxiety.
> 
> Perhaps for people who (according to their opinion at least) are not good looking, this is one aspect in which their confidence is effected. *For people with good looks or who at least see themselves in such a way and therefore are confident in this way, their confidence can be effected by the expectation to be how they first appear. *...either way, looks don't change having social anxiety even if they shift a few of the issues around a little.


Hmmm...I guess I just never had that problem. I am who I am. I'm not anyone's expectations.



> Your idea "It's not like you have to be who people think you are" is a great ideal, it's just that I don't believe many people are particualarly successful at achieving this -and I'm not merely talking of the socially anxious for whom this inner conflict is more obviously visible. And maybe that's why I don't feel so ashamed to say that I am not who I really am when around others. *Your argument is to be who I am and right now (one aspect of) who I am is 'socially anxious' -why should I pretend that I am not? ;*)


You lost me there or maybe I'm misunderstanding your point. I'm not telling you to pretend to be something you're not. I was saying the complete opposite actually.

...and when you say "I am not who I really am when around others." 
You mean you act differently? If so, in what way?


----------



## LostinReverie

RubyTuesday said:


> I agree, though, with your sentiments that all we do really is trade one set of problems with another. And, so I don't therefore see any connection between looks and social anxiety.


Perhaps for you, but that is not the case for me. I have social anxiety because I grew up being teased about my appearance. SA and its causes are different for everyone.


----------



## RubyTuesday

Strange Religion wrote:-
Hmmm...I guess I just never had that problem. I am who I am. I'm not anyone's expectations.

RubyTuesday says:-
Congratulations! Then your work is done: you've self-realised and are your true self completely when with others, with the confidence, self acceptance and lack of insecurity and fear, and -not to mention- clear self-awareness that being this way means. ... no anxiety or fear about what others think of you, is then the way you are, and of course there is no denial or self-deception in you either.

Strange Religion wrote:-
You lost me there or *maybe I'm misunderstanding your point*. I'm not telling you to pretend to be something you're not. I was saying the complete opposite actually.

RubyTuesday:-
I agree, you are misunderstanding my post. But all that demonstrates is your blindness towards a wider picture of what is going on in favor of your pre-made conceptions. In other words:- you interpret and see just what you want to see -and nothing more.

The fact of the matter is -and I'll only repeat this once more- is that I am good looking and always have been. I cannot be bothered lying about it in order to fit in with your preferred view of things. -which is that poeple with looks could not possibly suffer from social anxiety, they must just be making it up because with good looks, the symptoms of worry about what others think and oversensitivity, just miraculously wouldn't exist.

So, according to you only the self-proclaimed 'ugly people' are warranted for having social anxiety. And those without this same self-image, who don't perceive themselves as physically unnatractive, have no business being insecure.
...well, that really is an openminded and intelligent analysis of people, if ever there was one.

Perhaps if you weren't so shallowly preoccupied with appearance -and most of all with your OWN immediate situation and experience at the expense of anyone else's and any different experience- you might actually get past much of your social anxiety. ...you might expand your understanding and perception of the world.
But if you want to be so hung-up about looks and how others perceive you -by all means, follow the demands of your ego.

Just don't expect me to lie about my experience in order to soothe your injured vanity. ...it's YOUR concern with looks that brings you down and not other peoples' preoccupation with this, just as it is your self-centred refusal to step outside your own experience to appreciate anyone else's that keeps you re-living that experience.
And if you insist: Stay there, by all means! This choice has nothing to do with me.


----------



## Gerard

I'm critical over my appearance yet it doesn't bother me much now. And no, you all are attractive people capable of so much potential in all of your lives. I really mean that. 

Gerard


----------



## thomassf07

I don't think I'm ugly. In fact I've been told by some girls that I'm one of the best looking guys they've seen (I imagine a lot of girls tell a lot of guys that). I don't think I'm good looking though. I look way too young for my age, and my arms are still too skinny, even after months of working out. :stu 
I would like a girlfriend some day, that would only help my self-esteem... and hopefully I could help hers.


----------



## njodis

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*

I decided to delete this childhood sob story :lol


----------



## Dampy

It's a bit complicated for me, "I" think I'm good looking and every time I look into the mirror I see an attractive person (Well except for my slightly big nose), but every time I'm out of the house - like at the gym or at the mall, and I see a good looking girl walking by I have to look away because I can't help but think that they think I'm ugly.

Also, I look in the mirror a lot, more than the average person I'd say. I can't help but look, I'm constantly checking if there's anything on my face or if there's something in my teeth, or just for the sake of looking at myself, it's very strange!


I guess the short answer is that I think I'm good looking, but I think other people don't?


----------



## LostinReverie

RubyTuesday said:


> So, according to you only the self-proclaimed 'ugly people' are warranted for having social anxiety. And those without this same self-image, who don't perceive themselves as physically unnatractive, have no business being insecure.
> ...well, that really is an openminded and intelligent analysis of people, if ever there was one.
> 
> Perhaps if you weren't so shallowly preoccupied with appearance -and most of all with your OWN immediate situation and experience at the expense of anyone else's and any different experience- you might actually get past much of your social anxiety. ...you might expand your understanding and perception of the world.
> But if you want to be so hung-up about looks and how others perceive you -by all means, follow the demands of your ego.
> 
> Just don't expect me to lie about my experience in order to soothe your injured vanity. ...it's YOUR concern with looks that brings you down and not other peoples' preoccupation with this, just as it is your self-centred refusal to step outside your own experience to appreciate anyone else's that keeps you re-living that experience.
> And if you insist: Stay there, by all means! This choice has nothing to do with me.


Wow, you have put a whole hell of a lot of words in Strange Religion's mouth. You're arguing with a view that wasn't presented - at least by her. I see you have a lot of anger - join the club. Just don't take it out on people like Strange, or you're gonna have to deal with me. And I would advise against that.


----------



## Razorblade Kiss

Thankyou, I was reading that and thinking "WTF?!" :lol 
She went WAY off the wall and what she's saying isn't true about how I feel at all. Just goes to show, it's dangerous talking to some people.
That was beyond ridiculous.


----------



## Prodigal Son

Dangerous!? It is a message board. I suppose she could pm you a virus or something though... onders


----------



## LNahid2000

Yeah, I usually think I'm ugly, and also overweight. But I'm trying to fix the overweight bit. I've lost 5lb in the last month and people are already telling me that I've lost weight. 

But if you check out the pictures forum, I've noticed that most of the people are good looking here.


----------



## Razorblade Kiss

Prodigal Son said:


> Dangerous!? It is a message board. I suppose she could pm you a virus or something though... onders


 :lol Perhaps. I could elaborate on what I meant by "dangerous", but that would just be more insulting...she needs some Klonopin or something to chill the **** out.


----------



## Prodigal Son

Konopin...that stuff works? BTW you hiding your online status?


----------



## Razorblade Kiss

Yes, to both questions. It's fun to sneak up on people.


----------



## ardrum

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



Strange Religion said:


> Thankyou, I was reading that and thinking "WTF?!" :lol
> She went WAY off the wall and what she's saying isn't true about how I feel at all. Just goes to show, it's dangerous talking to some people.
> That was beyond ridiculous.


Yeah, I thought it had to be a joke or something...guess not. :lol


----------



## trekster

I think i'm ugly. You can see me at the member pics subforum.


----------



## RubyTuesday

Hi, 

I thought I'd make an appearance. 

I have a few things to say -one is that I more than likely did put things out of perspective and for this reason admit to having said more than was acceptable.

So -there you go: laugh at my ineptitude and emotional dumbness, because I agree with you -I do blow things out of perspective especially when I'm feeling more insecure, and I don't see things in a clear perspective the rest of the time either.

Strange Religion, you pointed out that unlike me you don't have a problem being something that you are not, and that you are just yourself with others and therefore are not unsure of where you stand.

Well, I'm going to fess up and say straight out that I don't know where I stand -I am frankly confused as to jsut what is real or right, and still insecure about my sanity. And this time round I'm going to face up to it without letting my insecurity about feeling this way stop me from facing what is true in my experience. I can't put things into their proper perspective and have no business prattling on so, preaching about 'giving up the ego' and such business. Hypocrisy runs much much deeper than I've been able to realise. 

I'm prepared to humble my self not to try to save face but because I really want to face all the things that I am scared of about my self- so this apology or confession is just for me and you and others can judge me however you like.
So it is fine to ridicule me on my inadequacy -I am inadequate and I'm not wasting any more time pretending otherwise or looking to other people to admit things that I'm still too scared to admit to properly on my own.


----------



## Razorblade Kiss

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*

I appreciate that and I really didn't mean to offend you in any kind of way. When I said "I am who I am and I'm not anyone's expectations" I don't mean that as a knock towards you or anyone else who may feel the need to act a certain way around others. I'm just speaking for myself. 
I also feel inadequate and insecure in many ways. I'm lost in life and don't know what the hell I'm doing or why I even exist for that matter. Just remember, you're not alone. We're all in this together. Welcome to our dysfunctional family. haha :hug
I really wish you the best.


----------



## LostinReverie

RubyTuesday, your ability to admit your mistakes shows strength of character. I was impressed.


----------



## ardrum

I want to note that my comment wasn't a jab at your identity, RubyTuesday. Just so you don't misunderstand, I was poking fun at your comment, not you. It's all too easy to interpret people's reactions as insults on one's character, so I thought I'd make this comment. I obviously don't even know you, so there's no way I could make any comment on your character. Hope you like it here at SAS!


----------



## RubyTuesday

You guys are really cool. :yes 

Thanks. ...I came to the computer bracing my self somewhat. But I find that, despite some bad experiences, some and even a fair few people are nicer than I seem to expect. -Like I've become hypervigilant over the years and then when I get a job at least half the time people surprise me.

Recently I've been worrying about how normal I am. I've had emotional problems for so long now and I get over one problem only to encounter another. And it has been an upward struggle for several years now. Little joy. ...I'm sure you can relate somehow. It just does my self esteem in.
And I'm left wondering what to believe in. I used to believe a lot in God and that everything works out if you work hard ...but after a point, all the effort, struggling and lack of joy just really tests my resolve. And always there is that doubt in my mind: Who am I and how do I come to terms with my differences in this world so that I can live a happy life. 

So sorry for my misdirected frustration and anger.
And thanks for being gracious enough to forgive me for it.


----------



## decadentia

Well, I have SA and I would say im attractive.

I think people with SA are all on different levels. Some have deep routed problems other than SA, and perhaps some just don't fit the generic mold of what society deems attractive.

For me, my SA isn't so much related to how I look, but more so what people think of me. Ive never really had a problem getting a girlfriend, or getting compliments, so I guess its one less thing to worry about.

For those that don't find yourself very attractive, im sure there are plenty who have come across you in your lifetime and thought to themselves "Hot damn...he/she is kind of cute :kiss "

Ive seen pictures of some women in this forum who are quite good looking, and I would probably try to be quite chummy with in real life lol. They might even think they are ugly..just goes to show ya.


----------



## aloss4words

I don't think I'm ugly, I know I'm ugly.


----------



## ardrum

We should have a "Who's the Ugliest: SAS Edition" contest! Winners to ugliest male and ugliest female (age groups perhaps?). 

Monetary award will accompany the winners (or losers, depending on perspective). This award will not cover the humiliation of being awarded with the distinction of ugliest SAS member.

Serious applicants need only apply...


----------



## Samdaman

I could be a little better however I am not ugly. Thats part of my SA in believing that people think I am ugly and see my flaws. When I look in the mirror however I think I look pretty good.


----------



## omgnoudidnt

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



ardrum said:


> Njodis said:
> 
> 
> 
> Many, if not most, of the women demand that guys be 6'0"+ to even send them a message.
> 
> 
> 
> Exactly! You never see "Must be under 5'6" even when the girls aren't too tall themselves. I just don't see why so many girls have an obsession with a guy's height. I'm much less shallow and much less demanding than the average girl seems to be when it comes to height.
> 
> 
> 
> quiet_one said:
> 
> 
> 
> It's always somewhat traumatizing for me to catch glimpses of myself in mirrors/windows out in public
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Yeah, I had that experience yesterday. I was at a restaurant, and I went to the restroom, and I saw myself in the restroom mirror. Freak show face. I think sometimes the lighting has something to do with showing flaws more, but it is a disabling experience for me to see myself in the mirror in situations like that.
Click to expand...

I love short guys.


----------



## ardrum

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



maggiemae84 said:


> ardrum said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Njodis said:
> 
> 
> 
> Many, if not most, of the women demand that guys be 6'0"+ to even send them a message.
> 
> 
> 
> Exactly! You never see "Must be under 5'6" even when the girls aren't too tall themselves. I just don't see why so many girls have an obsession with a guy's height. I'm much less shallow and much less demanding than the average girl seems to be when it comes to height.
> 
> 
> 
> quiet_one said:
> 
> 
> 
> It's always somewhat traumatizing for me to catch glimpses of myself in mirrors/windows out in public
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Yeah, I had that experience yesterday. I was at a restaurant, and I went to the restroom, and I saw myself in the restroom mirror. Freak show face. I think sometimes the lighting has something to do with showing flaws more, but it is a disabling experience for me to see myself in the mirror in situations like that.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I love short guys.
Click to expand...

There are exceptions to the rule. I've still yet to see a plea for "must be 5'6" or shorter," while it is VERY common to see "must be 6'0" or taller."

Height is only one of my aspects that tends to turn off women though.

I guess now that I am making pretty decent money with my first "real" job, I could always start paying women to pretend to like me! :lol

Ross (if you're reading this), do you think escorts would be freaked out if I asked them to help me out with exposure therapy?? I can hear it now...

"Uhhh, I actually just want to hold hands. This will be pretty intense for me."


----------



## Razorblade Kiss

You're cute and intelligent and your height should have nothing to do with you not being able to get a date. I can't stand people who only want one certain thing and are not willing to look past height, skin color or whatever it may be to see other qualities people possess.
**** those kinds of people. **** 'EM!!!!

Rant over.


----------



## Higolo

Definitely.


----------



## ardrum

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*



Strange Religion said:


> You're cute and intelligent and your height should have nothing to do with you not being able to get a date. I can't stand people who only want one certain thing and are not willing to look past height, skin color or whatever it may be to see other qualities people possess.
> **** those kinds of people. **** 'EM!!!!
> 
> Rant over.


No, I agree with your argument. You should have seen me a few years ago. I was all "woe is me there is no hope for short guys"... it was embarrassing, looking back. I was contributing to my unattractiveness by just writing off my chances and being negative... not attractive perspective.

I still have aways to go with self-image, but I'm miles from those lowest points.


----------



## veronica

I don't think i'm ugly. I find myself pretty attractive most times. I'm confident in this yet I still have sa. I don't get this?


----------



## Exiled

No, I don't.

Whether I am or not has little to do with my SA.


----------



## Jumper1989

Why should you care if people see you as ugly? I really don't care much, I would say I am ok looking. Its my past thats stuck with me. I think part of my shyness is what happened in my past when I did certain things, and now I do even try to those certain things anymore. Anyways I have been this way since 6th grade when I was really ****ed up.


----------



## Razorblade Kiss

veronica said:


> I don't think i'm ugly. I find myself pretty attractive most times. I'm confident in this yet I still have sa. I don't get this?


That's because the two don't have anything to do with eachother. I know that some people's SA stems from them finding themselves unattractive. 
Like you, I find myself attractive, but SA isn't based on looks alone. I still want to hide under a rock and distance myself from people.


----------



## eekmd

Strange Religion said:


> That's because the two don't have anything to do with eachother. I know that some people's SA stems from them finding themselves unattractive.
> Like you, I find myself attractive, but SA isn't based on looks alone. I still want to hide under a rock and distance myself from people.


I couldn't agree more. While I don't consider myself "God's gift to women" or anything......I certainly think i'm relatively good looking......yet throw me in a social situation, and I bumble miserably....

Thinking you're ugly is more of a symptom of depression I think...... Sometimes this gets intertwined with SA because it's so easy to feel depressed and inadequate if your social life is horrible......


----------



## LostinReverie

Or you could actually be ugly.


----------



## ardrum

Hmm, I don't think there is such a thing as "actually ugly" in any objective sense. Although I could go for something subjective such as this...

"Actually ugly" in the sense of the average interpretation of one's looks (taking in everyone's opinion), which is subjectively determined and aggregated. If we could poll every person on earth to rate our appearance, we'd inevitably each end up with different ratings that would be statistically significant. 

Some would be 10s, others, 5s, others much lower.

I think it's important to note though that in statistics, there are often data called "outliers" that are very far away from an average (BOTH positive and negative). 1000 people polled might give me a 4/10 rating on looks on AVERAGE, but there are very likely 1-3 people who would give me a 9-10. Likewise, someone else might average 9/10, but have several people think they're a 1 or 2.

To claim that one is objectively ugly would be to ignore the variance inherent in the collection of statistics. 

There is still that nagging "average" to deal with (which is likely very different from person to person), but that "score" isn't universal to all eyes.


----------



## wiley

Most of the time, yes. Although my husband and family say I'm not. I've seen a lot of pictures of other people with SA (mostly on SA Friends), and a lot of us are hot! So don't sell yourselves short, people.


----------



## ardrum

A friend of mine's roommate apparently refers to me as "Little Adam" in a high, baby voice now. This might have bothered me in the past, but her comments strangely have no impact. It's like I am expecting that I SHOULD get upset since that's the norm, but I'm not. Interesting.


----------



## vicente

If ugly means "repulsive-looking", then I am not ugly, only slightly below average.

If ugly means "unattractive to the opposite sex" then I am the ugliest ever. Women want guys who are confident, charismatic, and great leaders. I am the opposite of that (i.e., a "pansy" or "*****") so I don't see how any woman would possibly be attracted to me.


----------



## ardrum

Another way to look at it is how we look by relative position, compared to other guys/gals. 

I remember a few years ago how I joined that Hot or Not site, just to see how lowly I'd rate. I was in the "least hot" 10% with multiple pictures. I did it again later on, and I was in the 30th percentile. 

If we're perceived, on average, to be of inferior appearance when compared to others, I think it's best to accept it. If we're still in pain, we obviously haven't accepted it because we're still hoping it isn't the case. We're still longing to be better looking, which makes us miserable. You can't accept your appearance while simultaneously not accepting it. 

I don't pretend to have The Answer for how one can go about such acceptance, but I'm quite confident that this self-acceptance is what relieves us from our agony.

I can fully accept these days how I'm not very physically "hot" at all when compared to other guys, but this does not devastate nor disable me from being happy. In addition, as I said earlier, there is always variance within a population of how they think you look (no matter what your emotionally biased beliefs tell you). 

Nevertheless, I don't live in a fairy tale land where I dream to look "hot" anymore. Likewise, I don't live in fairy tale land where I believe I'm a hideous monster who is incapable of being seen as attractive. Hell, people might even think I'm "cute" from time to time. It's not only possible, but it is probably the case as well.

One more note: Self-acceptance is more attractive than reinforcing beliefs of inadequacy.


----------



## FairleighCalm

Lostinreverie zinged: 


> Or you could actually be ugly.


You know, you're pretty damn funny. I love sarcasm. That may be the only thing keeping me alive some days.


----------



## shy1984

I have a huge nose and am skinny. I am not good looking. However, SA has nothing to do with physical attractivity, and there are plenty of ugly socially successful people.


----------



## LostinReverie

glas said:


> I hate shows such Laguna Beach, Newport Harbor, The Hills... etc.
> 
> i just wanna get up in the morning, look in the mirror and not hate what i see.


No ****ing joke. :ditto


----------



## Shoeless

I'm not pretty. I've never been told I'm pretty except once when I mentioned to my mom that I don't like how I look and she said something to the effect of "That's not true, you're a very beautiful girl inside."

But I've never been told I'm pretty.

Which makes me feel ugly.


----------



## BeachGaBulldog

No, I don't think I am ugly, but I don't like my body. I used to exercise all of the time, sometimes to the point of obsessing about it. I thought that I was fat, when it actuality I was a toothpick. Fast Forward a few years to now, and I have a gut starting, I don't exercise, and I couldn't give a damn. I haven't been this out of shape since my college days.


----------



## GraceLikeRain

*Re: re: Do you think you're ugly?*

Yes, I think I am ugly. I know that there are some things that I could change about my appearance if I really wanted to, but sometimes I just do not feel like it is worth it/I am worth it.
I believe that even if I did improve my appearance that I would still have SA.



maggiemae84 said:


> ardrum said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Njodis said:
> 
> 
> 
> Many, if not most, of the women demand that guys be 6'0"+ to even send them a message.
> 
> 
> 
> Exactly! You never see "Must be under 5'6" even when the girls aren't too tall themselves. I just don't see why so many girls have an obsession with a guy's height. I'm much less shallow and much less demanding than the average girl seems to be when it comes to height.
> 
> 
> 
> quiet_one said:
> 
> 
> 
> It's always somewhat traumatizing for me to catch glimpses of myself in mirrors/windows out in public
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Yeah, I had that experience yesterday. I was at a restaurant, and I went to the restroom, and I saw myself in the restroom mirror. Freak show face. I think sometimes the lighting has something to do with showing flaws more, but it is a disabling experience for me to see myself in the mirror in situations like that.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I love short guys.
Click to expand...

I'm only 5'0", so I do as well.


----------



## VCL XI

BeachGaBulldog said:


> Fast Forward a few years to now, and I have a gut starting, I don't exercise, and I couldn't give a damn. I haven't been this out of shape since my college days.


E-High five!

As for me I'm ugly, obese, scummy, an all-around dermatological disaster and damn proud of it.


----------



## Drella

Shoeless said:


> But I've never been told I'm pretty.
> 
> Which makes me feel ugly.


Yes, same here. My grandmother almost said it to me at Christmas a few years ago. She said, "You look pret-..... your hair looks nice." She couldn't even finish the sentence! That's when I knew, definitively, that I am a hideous monster that should be preserved in wax alongside Joseph Merrick. I've simply learned to live with it; there isn't much I can do about how I look that I haven't already started doing. It would be really nice to be moderately good looking, but it just isn't a quality I possess.


----------



## mbs

I consider myself a pretty good looking guy haha


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

Found something a few folks might find helpful - am working through it at the moment.

http://www.amazon.com/Body-Image-Workbook-Harbinger-Workbooks/dp/1572240628

A CBT workbook for helping folks who are made unhappy by the way they feel about their looks and body. For men and women.

Only a few pages in so far, seems promising.

Ross


----------



## LostinReverie

Unless it will make me look pretty, ya got nothin.


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

I think you're pretty. You dont.

So it might be helpful 

Ross


----------



## LostinReverie

Gotta love the opinion of people who have never seen you


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

So who's that girl you've been sticking in your avatar? You should be paying her copyright royalties. Does she know you're ripping her off?

Tut

zzz whatever. OK I revise my statement - I think you look pretty from the few photos I have seen of you. Yeah you never smile but never mind.

Here endeth compliments.

Ross


----------



## LostinReverie

Do you honestly think I'm seven?

My avatar is one of the gorgeous photos taken by Sally Mann










http://www.art-forum.org/z_Mann/gallery.htm

(and that better be the end)


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

Oh RIIIIGHT! And there was me thinking you'd just had a perm and facelift.


----------



## LostinReverie

Well I wouldn't need a perm considering my hair is already curly. 

Okay, stopping now.


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

This thread got real weird, real quick. I guess I'm going insane, but I coulda sworn that Lost (and her previous incarnation) put up a lot of avatars of a girl wearing glasses, with straight hair, looking rather serious, and alternated them with a little wolf. Of course I have hallucinated things before. The worst was a glowing face coming out of my cupboard, but hey I suppose I could go for more normal stuff.

Ross


----------



## alward88

I can look at myself in the mirror, and when I do I can look at what I want to see, I can stand taller, not slouch, and smile and look whatever way I want that makes me feel better.

And then out in public I am shy and I slouch and I dont smile and whenever I see my own reflection I hate it and cant help but think that I am a monster.

EDIT: So no, I dont think I am ugly, when I am alone I am fine, and then out and about whatever I am feeling inside as far as being tense and uneasy go come outside and end up making me look exacly how I feel. Which is terrible.


----------



## LostinReverie

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> This thread got real weird, real quick. I guess I'm going insane, but I coulda sworn that Lost (and her previous incarnation) put up a lot of avatars of a girl wearing glasses, with straight hair, looking rather serious, and alternated them with a little wolf. Of course I have hallucinated things before. The worst was a glowing face coming out of my cupboard, but hey I suppose I could go for more normal stuff.
> 
> Ross


I have used avatars of myself before, yes. I straighten my hair on occasion. However, it is naturally curly.


----------



## shelovescliche

Definitely. I know I'm not horribly disfigured or anything, but I never feel _pretty_, or even anything remotely close to it.

Sometimes I think it's part of the SA. Other times I think it's just 'cause we live in an extremely superficial world where looks mean everything :stu


----------



## starblob

I'm completely f*cked in the head and am therefore in no position to objectively judge how i look.


----------



## nothing to fear

my ugliness really tears me up inside. if i put effort into my appearance i can feel confident even to leave the house, but usually by the end of the day i see myself in reflections and mirrors and i realize that i am still repulsive. thinking back there are two comments i can think of that i've gotten from guys who've said i am "pretty" (family doesn't count) , the first guy just really wanted to get laid and the second... well, he was manic, so he was really really horny as well.
on the other hand in the past year i haven't put any effort into my appearance. i've been trying lately, i have to or else this school year i'll be skipping classes too often.

anyway, usually it doesn't bother except me when i am interested in a guy, which i am now, and i know i am just way to ugly for him and i hate it so much, some days i just want to die because i feel there is no point in living if you are as ugly as i am. (yeah, i may already have posted this a few times in this thread, i just want to vent...).


----------



## Moonlite7189

well  I think I'm average... sometimes I feel pretty and other times I feel ugly lol. Idontknow ops kind of like  sometimes I like myself, sometimes not.. :con


----------



## busstop

LostInReverie said:


> Do you honestly think I'm seven?
> 
> My avatar is one of the gorgeous photos taken by Sally Mann
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> http://www.art-forum.org/z_Mann/gallery.htm
> 
> (and that better be the end)


I'm real sorry but I must ask if that is a little girl in a picture with a nearly naked man?


----------



## naganuma

I'm a good-looking guy, but the increased looks from girls make me self-conscious. A lot of the time, I feel that I'm not holding up to their expectations. It's kind of like performance anxiety.


----------



## LostinReverie

busstop said:


> I'm real sorry but I must ask if that is a little girl in a picture with a nearly naked man?


Nope, that is also a child, and either her brother or sister. If nudity offends you, I wouldn't look at the gallery. She takes pics of her kids, whom aren't always clothed in hot weather, like many kids.


----------



## RossPK81

I honestly don't know whether I'm very ugly or very attractive. Photo's of me can range between the two. When I look in the mirror I think I look very attractive but then when I look at a reflaction of my reflection so my face is the right way around and will be hoe everyone else sees me, suddenyl my face looks distorted and assymetrical, I look really ugly.

Also no one has ever acted attracted to me in real life, and I've been called ugly by a lot of girls.


----------



## IcedOver

Yes, I kind of think I'm ugly but sometimes I look at myself and I don't look half-bad. I think a lot of my dislike of my looks comes from my dislike of myself and my personality. Plus, I've been made fun of in the past, so that sticks with a person.


----------



## mariko

I think I'm a little less then average. 
I have long hair and pointy ears, a few people have told me I look like an elf from Lord of the Rings.


----------



## busstop

LostInReverie said:


> busstop said:
> 
> 
> 
> I'm real sorry but I must ask if that is a little girl in a picture with a nearly naked man?
> 
> 
> 
> Nope, that is also a child, and either her brother or sister. If nudity offends you, I wouldn't look at the gallery. She takes pics of her kids, whom aren't always clothed in hot weather, like many kids.
Click to expand...

Nudity doesn't offend me I was only a little concerned there hehe. It is a beautiful picture regardless.


----------



## ardrum

I recently heard a statistic cited that 48% of Americans would say that they are "beautiful." Interesting.


----------



## coriander1992

"Do you think you're ugly?"

uh huh.


----------



## Marc

I don't think I am. As I see it, I'm pretty much comparable to anyone physically. I'm not sure if other people see it that way though.


----------



## copper

LostInReverie said:


> busstop said:
> 
> 
> 
> I'm real sorry but I must ask if that is a little girl in a picture with a nearly naked man?
> 
> 
> 
> Nope, that is also a child, and either her brother or sister. If nudity offends you, I wouldn't look at the gallery. She takes pics of her kids, whom aren't always clothed in hot weather, like many kids.
Click to expand...

Back home in Iowa when I was a kid little girls always ran around with no shirts on when it was hot in the summer. We didn't think of anything of it.


----------



## BethieeBooBoo

yes same here but WHAT is ugly?? i mean everything is differently beautiful you just have to think positive


----------



## nothing to fear

BethieeBooBoo said:


> yes same here but WHAT is ugly?? i mean everything is differently beautiful you just have to think positive


i try to do this sometimes but at the end of the day i just feel awful.

today i brought up my ugliness with my therapist and she said: "now that is not realistic at all. that is what you perceive inside, and it is not what is on the outside. you are very attractive and have a great figure..". hm, she always seems genuine, that is why i like her, but maybe she was just able to say that because of many years of experience...


----------



## ardrum

I bet if we rated our appearance 1-10, and had a huge sample of people rate us, many of us would be underestimating.


----------



## njodis

There was actually a thread like that, and something like 1/3 of the people voted "1," which is clearly absurd.


----------



## ardrum

When I think 1 out of 10, I'm thinking about grotesque monsters from horror films that aren't even human. I've never met a 1 in real life.


----------



## LostinReverie

Feel free to come to MN


----------



## ardrum

Please... I've had crushes on girls who don't look as good as you.


----------



## nothing to fear

LostInReverie said:


> Feel free to come to MN


i can't believe you think you're ugly... i know you had a picture of you as your avatar and you are very pretty, i imagine there are a lot of guys attracted to you.

anyway, i'm kind of using this thread to vent, but i am so ****ing sick of feeling this ugly. i won't let people.. this one male friend especially... get close to me or hang out with me in person because i strongly believe they will just look at how hideously unattractive i am and not even want to be friends. i hate this so much.


----------



## Prism

Well many times I get good complements from people but this is mainly from people who see my pics/webcam on the internet(who knows how many are genuine). In person I rarely get such comments. I have had a difficult time looking in the mirror since I was 13ish and I occasionally have the irrational thought that I'm hideous although not so much anymore. 

I think the truth probably lies in the middle somewhere. Good looking to some, average to others. It's probably a lack of social skills which makes people not pay much attention to us no matter how good looking we may be. I've seen some pics of a few girls who post on here and I must say some are very attractive. 

It is much easier to rate people who are friendly as good looking, while if someone has the greatest looks in the world yet they are rude or unfriendly (intentionally or not), i find them very unattractive unless I know them better than that.


----------



## LostinReverie

nothing_to_fear said:


> LostInReverie said:
> 
> 
> 
> Feel free to come to MN
> 
> 
> 
> i can't believe you think you're ugly... i know you had a picture of you as your avatar and you are very pretty, i imagine there are a lot of guys attracted to you.
Click to expand...

Forget what you've seen, it isn't real. There has never been a male who has been attracted to me.


----------



## ericj

My opinion of my outward appearance varies from revulsion to disgust to apathy *preemptively ducks in case his friend reads this*, however, online friends and my mother claim otherwise, but they're definitely biased. I recall someone posting my picture on Hot or Not years ago to prove to me that I wasn't ugly, but my ratings looked like a divot - lots on the 1, dipping down rapidly, then slowly tapering toward 7, 8, and 9, which were never voted. I got a couple 10s a couple months later and I wish I knew who they were or if they were just joking. However, that was when I was much younger and better-looking 19 or 20... I'm 26 and I still have pimples and acne in spite of a decade of using various creams and eventually Accutane in an attempt to end the torture (they came back after I stopped).



LostInReverie said:


> Forget what you've seen, it isn't real. There has never been a male who has been attracted to me.


All I could locate without too much searching was a mighty small one on the last.fm link in your profile. If that's you, I suspect you're quite pretty and that many males have been attracted to you, at least in passing, if not long-term crushing. I'd search more, but it's getting late. For some reason, since you were the last poster, I had a wild hair to check.



LostInReverie said:


> Feel free to come to MN


Is that a challenge?


----------



## Classified

LostInReverie said:


> Forget what you've seen, it isn't real.


You look a lot better than you think you look. Your pictures are real, it's not like that is a different person in them.


----------



## Mr. SandMan

honestly....i think im very atractive...cause a couple girls that ive ****ed **** up with in the past cause i didnt have the balls to ask them out, liked me.....i just know they did by the way they looked at me or whatever.....but i feel unatractive cause of the way i feel inside....but outside with out a red face....i know i look good....but what can you do......


----------



## Half_A_Person

LostInReverie, all your talk about being ugly is nonsense! You've got gorgeous eyes and hair. I'm totally jealous.

Me on the other hand...well, I've got a fat, round face, and my nose is too big, I used to get teased about it by this one girl back in 3rd grade. My hair is frizzy, dry and gross (used to get teased about that too), my lips have a very odd shape to them, and I've got a lazy eye. My eye color is ugly on me and my face gets red very easily if I've done lots of exercise, am feeling anxious or if it's very cold or hot outside, making me look like a tomato. And do not get me started on my body or personality. I am just horrifically ugly - inside AND out  Every time I see an attractive girl, I get insanely jealous and wonder what it would be like to be beautiful, or at least average-looking. Then I see an attractive guy and wonder how much money he'd have to be given to spend five minutes just talking to me. I see a couple and I feel like bursting into tears...just reminds of what I'll never have. But I'm trying to just accept the fact that I am never going to look like Scarlett Johansson and I'll grow old alone and become that lonely old cat lady who yells at the kids to get off her property.

Geez...sorry about the novel...today hasn't been too good.


----------



## CreamedPi

In middle school, I used to think I had incredibly ugly nose and eyes. I would always stare at myself in the mirror, and my biggest wish was to get plastic surgery when I grew up (as ridiculous as it might sound >_<). It wasn't until half a year ago that I finally stopped thinking I was ugly, when my counselor told me that I actually looked very pretty (before, I just thought my family was just lying to me to boost my confidence). But even after I knew I looked attractive, I still haven't made any friends at my high school, because I have really bad SA.

In some ways, it's made it worse, because I always think people are staring at me in class because of the way I look, which makes me more anxious. Because of my appearance, people expect me to be popular and sociable, and when I'm not, it's really awkward. I still remember when I used to think I was ugly, and now that I look back, I can see it affected everything about me: my attitude, moodiness, etc, and I definitely wouldn't want to re-experience those years again.

Just thought I'd throw in my little story here. If you've got any suggestions for anything, please tell! Thanks.


----------



## LostinReverie

Half_A_Person said:


> LostInReverie, all your talk about being ugly is nonsense! You've got gorgeous eyes and hair. I'm totally jealous.


Well, thanks for the kindness, but it's your comment that's nonsense. I don't know what pic you've seen, but you are mistaken. Neither my eyes nor my hair are any identifiable color. My hair is extremely thin and I will probably begin to lose it in my 30s. It will stay straight for a good 20 minutes before it starts to reform into it's natural curl, which is uncontrollable and downright frightening. If I were another person, I wouldn't care to befriend me either. So you could say my isolation is for the betterment of society.



ericj said:


> Is that a challenge?


Sure. There's no doubt in my mind that I am the most disturbing individual anyone here would ever see.


----------



## nothing_to_say

I honestly don't know if i'm ugly or not. Put it this way, no one has said otherwise :rain 

And LostInReverie, you're gorgeous, so there


----------



## LostinReverie

I wish. I'd give ANYTHING to be beautiful. That's how ****ed up I am. I hate that I feel like an inferior being undeserving of life because of how I look. That I am hidden away in the darkness terrified of my own shadow, muttering to myself and waiting to die, inside of a prison I built to keep everyone out.


----------



## nothing to fear

Half_A_Person said:


> Me on the other hand...well, I've got a fat, round face, and my nose is too big, I used to get teased about it by this one girl back in 3rd grade. My hair is frizzy, dry and gross (used to get teased about that too), my lips have a very odd shape to them, and I've got a lazy eye. My eye color is ugly on me and m*y face gets red very easily if I've done lots of exercise, am feeling anxious or if it's very cold or hot outside, making me look like a tomato. *And do not get me started on my body or personality. I am just horrifically ugly - inside AND out  *Every time I see an attractive girl, I get insanely jealous and wonder what it would be like to be beautiful, or at least average-looking.* Then I see an attractive guy and wonder how much money he'd have to be given to spend five minutes just talking to me. I see a couple and I feel like bursting into tears...just reminds of what I'll never have. But I'm trying to just accept the fact that I am never going to look like Scarlett Johansson and I'll grow old alone and become that lonely old cat lady who yells at the kids to get off her property.
> 
> Geez...sorry about the novel...today hasn't been too good.


oh god.. i ****ing hate my face getting red! it happens to me so much. in the summer when it's hot, if i'm laughing a lot, if i'm embarrassed, in the winter when it's cold.. and what i hate even more is that when it turns red, it stays like that the whole ****ing day even though the feeling would go away. it looks weird on my face too because it would only be my cheeks and the rest of my face would be white. :/

i get that feeling too when i see an attractive girl. everywhere i look there are so many beautiful girls... it makes me feel so horrible. even if i a guy somehow liked me there would always be better looking girls around and eventually he would just wait until someone more attractive comes by. it tears me up inside so much.. at school every girl is so attractive.. they all have their hair done well, their faces are perfect, they have great bodies and nice clothes. i hate it so much. it's incredibly depressing.


----------



## LunatikPandora

I'd have to say I'm a pretty ugly motha******. The world clarified that already.


----------



## ardrum

I was a bit scarred from my self-image from my middle school years. I'd literally cry intensely over how hideous I felt. I used to go through a litany of physical failures that made me ugly:

Too short and scrawny, big ears, blushing constantly, ugly red hair, acne, pale as paste, odd-looking palms, bad smile, shy disposition, etc. I used to believe that _every single physical factor that could be deemed ugly_ did not work in my favor. Nevermind that I have two eyes, I don't have major scars on my face, I don't have an extra nose or large facial growth, etc.

While I'm nowhere near this sad state now, I don't particularly go around believing I'm more physically attractive than the average guy. In fact, I'd put all my money on the bet that scientific polls would confirm I'm definitely below average when taking into account a random sample of people. Nevertheless, this doesn't bother me like it did back then, which is great.


----------



## omgnoudidnt

YES.


----------



## Self-conscious Swede

*Re:*



Augustinus said:


> I don't think I'm ugly, ugly. But I am terrified of people telling me I'm not attractive. :afr


That's me


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

Hei Self-conscious

Har du det brar? Jeg er fra Scotland. Fint a mote deg!

Ross

PS I actually only know a bit of Bokmal Norwegian and have been told swedish is similar!


----------



## Jaded_Jester

w3stfa11 said:


> CreamedPi said:
> 
> 
> 
> In middle school, I used to think I had incredibly ugly nose and eyes. I would always stare at myself in the mirror, and my biggest wish was to get plastic surgery when I grew up (as ridiculous as it might sound >_<). It wasn't until half a year ago that I finally stopped thinking I was ugly, when my counselor told me that I actually looked very pretty (before, I just thought my family was just lying to me to boost my confidence). But even after I knew I looked attractive, I still haven't made any friends at my high school, because I have really bad SA./
> 
> 
> 
> I have a similar problem. I think there's something is wrong with my eyes and I can't help but think about them whenever I'm making eye contact with someone. I wonder if they even notice and if they do, I wonder if it's like a zit on your face that they notice, but then quickly forget about it. I had a hard time telling anyone because I thought it was so stupid. I did finally tell my therapist and he said he hadn't noticed! Hmmm... I still can't tell if he was trying to make me feel good or not, but it sounded honest. However, I've had a couple of people at school point it out, so I still don't know. All I know is that when I look at my eyes in a picture, I think I look weird.
Click to expand...

I hate it when people say that my acne is barely noticable. :roll

yeeeaaahh right, thanks for being insincere and insulting my intelligence :rain


----------



## Self-conscious Swede

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> Hei Self-conscious
> 
> Har du det brar? Jeg er fra Scotland. Fint a mote deg!
> 
> Ross
> 
> PS I actually only know a bit of Bokmal Norwegian and have been told swedish is similar!


Hej Ross!
Ja, trevligt (fint) att träffas (mötas).
Norwegian and Swedish are very similar, so I understand  Home come you know bokmål? Jag gillar den skotska dialekten!


----------



## Maseur Shado

Make me look like Natalie Portman...or Grace Kelly...or Kate Winslet...is that asking too much from the universe?

Unfortunately, yes.


----------



## Dudleyville

According to HotOrNot I am ugly, and they are never wrong when it comes to this subject.


----------



## Marylandgreeneyes

http://a668.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/im ... 186bfb.jpg

Anyone want to go on a socially awkward date with me? Of course we can sit silently!


----------



## ahmerw007

Yes, I am ugly and foreign, so it's doubly worse. Every time i think about perhaps going out with someone, I think to myself what kind of self respecting girl would go out with me.


----------



## Jenikyula

Only sometimes. I have avoided mirrors for years. Flourescent lights make me look super bad, so I remember to avoid looking at myself under that light. 

I bet if I used make up I could look really good. That's true for pretty much anyone.


----------



## IllusionOfHappiness

I only like my face from certain angles...edited.

The rest of me is fine I guess. I like being skinny? Yeah sure.

I can't change it so might as well accept it! No one's perfect.


----------



## St.Paul

I don't think I'm grotesque, I wouldn't inspire one to vomit or anything.I'm just unattractive to vast majority of women.


----------



## paranoid

Yep, I've always felt ugly. Not even just like a typical unattractive person but almost not even human looking. I have weird squinty eyes, big forehead, big nose, weird jaw, gross lips, my hair sucks. I feel like I look like 100 different people depending on the mirror, the photo, the glass surface, the angle, etc. so I have no consistent self image. Sometimes I think I look alright but then I get a reminder that I don't, so I just trust that I"m ugly. Body is gross too, thin with no definition and stretch marks. Ok I'm done beating myself up :afr


----------



## laura03125

my confidence is all over the place. one day i'll think i'm hideous, the next i'll think i'm alright or sort of good looking.


----------



## HoboQueen

I put on a confident face when I'm around others but I definately don't fit my standard of beauty. I've had others tell me they think I'm pretty. Doesn't matter anyway though since my career of choice is full of mostly ugly people.


----------



## Dudleyville

What is your career of choice where you are surrounded mostly by ugly people ?


----------



## ImAboutToEXPLODE

I think i'm rather plain looking.Not good looking enough to get anything for free anyway.

It's funny how beatiful people often are complemented for stuff they do, even if they're really not any good at it.


----------



## eagleheart

Do I _think_ I'm ugly?? Thanks to mirrors, cameras, "helpful" former schoolmates... I don't have to wonder! I can't think of any part of my entire body that wouldn't be considered ugly at best, or gross at worst... both "ugly" and "gross" being understatements.


----------



## ImAboutToEXPLODE

My mom says i'm beatiful, so it must be true heheh


----------



## HoboQueen

Dudleyville said:


> What is your career of choice where you are surrounded mostly by ugly people ?


Politics.


----------



## trey

laura03125 said:


> my confidence is all over the place. one day i'll think i'm hideous, the next i'll think i'm alright or sort of good looking.


I'm the exact same way. Some days I'll see my reflection in a mirror and think "blech", then be down for the rest of that day and try to hide away in my room. I'll see my face as too red, my nose too long, one eye big the other small, my head too fat, etc.

Other days I'll glance at the mirror and think I'm not that bad, and get a confidence boost and be in a better mood that day.

I was supposedly a good looking little kid, though I never thought so because I had a big nose (rhinoplasty in teens fixed that). My appearance has drastically changed since the time I was a child however. I couldn't even recognize school pictures of myself in a photo album, I looked totally different. I remember one time long ago someone saw one of these old pictures and told me "Aww, you were so cute! What happened?" I still don't know if they were only joking.


----------



## Secludee

I've seriously heard people at times ask my mother if I had Downs Syndrome. This happened around five years ago and my face hasn't changed much since then.

That...combined with being overweight with acne all over face and body, a humped nose, stretch marks all over the place, and no facial hair to back my age or cover the blemishes...pretty much causes me to think I'm ugly. :con


----------



## TheGecko

eagleheart said:


> I can't think of any part of my entire body that wouldn't be considered ugly at best, or gross at worst... both "ugly" and "gross" being understatements.




but you're so cute, such beautiful eyes and hair, and your lips are so.. ops


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

I think I got better looking lately. Oddly I was feeling better about myself as a person before that seemed to happen. 

There. Thats my zen statement of the day. Please chew and cogitate.

Ross


----------



## ardrum

I'm a butterfly.


----------



## njodis

Insects are gross.


----------



## ardrum

You're just jealous.


----------



## ThomP

I used to consider myself butt-ugly.. nowadays, I just consider myself simply ugly

- Thom


----------



## Marylandgreeneyes

I think this proves that only ugly people have social anxiety


----------



## ImAboutToEXPLODE

> I think this proves that only ugly people have social anxiety


i've seen some people here who are far from ugly

Many people have a warped view of their own appearance


----------



## Polar

My teeth are ugly, but I'm in the process of fixing them. My face, a 5 on a 1-10 scale.


----------



## John H

I'm real sure I'm not brad pitt, I'm quite average I think, which means to some I look good and to some I don't, isn't that the truth for most of us!!!

John H


----------



## Mamaragan

I've been told I'm ugly and creepy, but I don't have a desire to get a girlfriend... probably relates to how I stay inside.


----------



## RubyTuesday

No. I'm actually pretty vain.


----------



## TheGecko

Marylandgreeneyes said:


> I think this proves that only ugly people have social anxiety


Having seen the photographs people have posted here, I would disagree.


----------



## Meee

Marylandgreeneyes said:


> I think this proves that only ugly people have social anxiety


Either that's sarcasm or you haven't seen the photo forum on here.


----------



## FreeSoul

I must be. 
I have no other logical explanation for why girls don't seriously like me.


----------



## Marylandgreeneyes

Meee said:


> Marylandgreeneyes said:
> 
> 
> 
> I think this proves that only ugly people have social anxiety
> 
> 
> 
> Either that's sarcasm or you haven't seen the photo forum on here.
Click to expand...

It was sarcasm : ) I just thought it was funny that, even after the first 10 posts of people saying they were ugly, people just kept saying they were ugly instead of 
discussing how this is probably caused by social anxiety, maybe not caused...but amplified.

When I was in high school I thought I was fat. A few years later I looked a picture of myself in high school and I thought Damn!! I wasn't fat at all! What a waste, I could have been chasing the ladies!

I know its hard to have a positive self image. Most people in the world aren't happy with their looks. Are most people in the world ugly? Nah... Can you remember of the last time you saw an ugly person?(NOT COUNTING YOURSELF,AND BESIDES, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!!) Sure there are incredibly super perfect beautiful people, most people aren't like that. Thats why they are made instant celebrities and paid for just being them. But humans are attracted to a huge range of looks. If they were only attracted to the "perfect" supermodel, everyone would be super models, because no one would mate with the normal people, leaving only the super model genes around. 
Is it rare for you to see a person you are attracted to? Hell no! I see them all the time! Sometimes they are 20 years older than me, sometimes they are fat, sometimes they are really tall,some are super short some have big noes, small noses, crooked noses... etc etc etc. Every human is attracted to a wide range of people! Come on...you know you are! And hot people have the same range of likes. Ever seen a really hot person with someone who is plain, and you think, MAN, how did they get with that hotty! Well, because A) Hot people are attracted to a lot of people too and B)The second you open your mouth, looks pretty much go out the window. 
Would you marry someone who was really hot, but you couldn't stand? No way! Would you marry someone that maybe had a gut, and stretch marks, and split ends, and crooked teeth, but who had an awesome personality, who made you feel great, who you loved? YES!!
You dont need to be pretty to get a partner. You can be straight up monster ugly. Didn't you learn anything from beauty and the beast?! Sure, if you're a supermodel, everyones eyes will be drawn to you first. Maybe it makes it easier because people will be more compelled to come to you. In the end its about finding someone who you enjoy being with. And thats true for everyone.
Heres my point: Stop calling yourself ugly, stop all those negative thoughts concerning your looks.
You don't have to think you're hot, you don't have to judge how you look at all. Just be comfortable being you. People like other people who are comfortable with themselves. 
3 years ago i thought I was ugly, But now I don't. I'm the same weight, height, build as I was 3 years ago. My looks haven't changed, but peoples reactions to me have. Why? Because since I have confidence in my looks, im less afraid of looking people in the eye, I dont slouch so much, I smile at people. And thats what people want. All we really want is someone interested in us, and if you think youre ugly, you assume no one is interested in you, so you dont look at them, you dont smile, and when they dont talk to you, you think its because youre ugly. The truth is, they think that you don't like them!

So stop thinking you're ugly. Why? Cause no one cares how you think of yourself! And it does you no good to think you're ugly.

I'm so sexy! SO DAMN SEXY! Look at my picture, ITS AMAZING!! Why can I say that so freely? Because people who don't think I'm sexy wont bother to respond! But people who do think I'm sexy will respond! And thats the only people I'm concerned about! So from now on, everyone say how beautiful you are! Next time you go out, think it to yourself, and smile. And then people will see you smile and hey! thats a nice person! They are smiling! I'm not going to edit this, sorry for any mistakes : )


----------



## nothing to fear

Marylandgreeneyes said:


> Meee said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Marylandgreeneyes said:
> 
> 
> 
> I think this proves that only ugly people have social anxiety
> 
> 
> 
> Either that's sarcasm or you haven't seen the photo forum on here.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> It was sarcasm : ) I just thought it was funny that, even after the first 10 posts of people saying they were ugly, people just kept saying they were ugly instead of
> discussing how this is probably caused by social anxiety, maybe not caused...but amplified.
> 
> When I was in high school I thought I was fat. A few years later I looked a picture of myself in high school and I thought Damn!! I wasn't fat at all! What a waste, I could have been chasing the ladies!
> 
> I know its hard to have a positive self image. Most people in the world aren't happy with their looks. Are most people in the world ugly? Nah... Can you remember of the last time you saw an ugly person?(NOT COUNTING YOURSELF,AND BESIDES, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!!) Sure there are incredibly super perfect beautiful people, most people aren't like that. Thats why they are made instant celebrities and paid for just being them. But humans are attracted to a huge range of looks. If they were only attracted to the "perfect" supermodel, everyone would be super models, because no one would mate with the normal people, leaving only the super model genes around.
> Is it rare for you to see a person you are attracted to? Hell no! I see them all the time! Sometimes they are 20 years older than me, sometimes they are fat, sometimes they are really tall,some are super short some have big noes, small noses, crooked noses... etc etc etc. Every human is attracted to a wide range of people! Come on...you know you are! And hot people have the same range of likes. Ever seen a really hot person with someone who is plain, and you think, MAN, how did they get with that hotty! Well, because A) Hot people are attracted to a lot of people too and B)The second you open your mouth, looks pretty much go out the window.
> Would you marry someone who was really hot, but you couldn't stand? No way! Would you marry someone that maybe had a gut, and stretch marks, and split ends, and crooked teeth, but who had an awesome personality, who made you feel great, who you loved? YES!!
> You dont need to be pretty to get a partner. You can be straight up monster ugly. Didn't you learn anything from beauty and the beast?! Sure, if you're a supermodel, everyones eyes will be drawn to you first. Maybe it makes it easier because people will be more compelled to come to you. In the end its about finding someone who you enjoy being with. And thats true for everyone.
> Heres my point: Stop calling yourself ugly, stop all those negative thoughts concerning your looks.
> You don't have to think you're hot, you don't have to judge how you look at all. Just be comfortable being you. People like other people who are comfortable with themselves.
> 3 years ago i thought I was ugly, But now I don't. I'm the same weight, height, build as I was 3 years ago. My looks haven't changed, but peoples reactions to me have. Why? Because since I have confidence in my looks, im less afraid of looking people in the eye, I dont slouch so much, I smile at people. And thats what people want. All we really want is someone interested in us, and if you think youre ugly, you assume no one is interested in you, so you dont look at them, you dont smile, and when they dont talk to you, you think its because youre ugly. The truth is, they think that you don't like them!
> 
> So stop thinking you're ugly. Why? Cause no one cares how you think of yourself! And it does you no good to think you're ugly.
> 
> I'm so sexy! SO DAMN SEXY! Look at my picture, ITS AMAZING!! Why can I say that so freely? Because people who don't think I'm sexy wont bother to respond! But people who do think I'm sexy will respond! And thats the only people I'm concerned about! So from now on, everyone say how beautiful you are! Next time you go out, think it to yourself, and smile. And then people will see you smile and hey! thats a nice person! They are smiling! I'm not going to edit this, sorry for any mistakes : )
Click to expand...

 :yes good post. you're so damn positive, haha. i wish i was like that. i'm trying to get myself to stop having that constant thought that life is pointless when i'm so hideous because thinking that won't get me anywhere. i think i'm a little better than a year ago, i still obsess over my appearance but i have a little more confidence.. i think.


----------



## CoconutHolder

For me, it was more a general, constant feeling of inadequacy and insecurity that came from inside. I don't think everyone that has social anxiety has it because they consider themselves ugly.


----------



## ThomP

Marylandgreeneyes said:


> It was sarcasm : ) I just thought it was funny that, even after the first 10 posts of people saying they were ugly, people just kept saying they were ugly instead of
> discussing how this is probably caused by social anxiety, maybe not caused...but amplified.


Actually, that's why I said that I consider myself ugly, not that I am... To be honest, I don't know, I'm not good in judging guys' looks :lol

But of course you are right... it's just hard to tell that to yourself after the "you're ugly" stuff has been hammered into your mind for ages...

Well, if someone has an idea how to get the "I'm ugly" image out of my head, let me know :troll


----------



## citizen_erased

I don't think i'm hideously ugly but i certainly don't consider myself pretty either. I hate my teeth and my boney nose. I also hate my arms from the elbows up cos they are covered in pimples. I am also quite insecure about my weight - most people who say that usually think they're too fat but i have the opposite problem - i'm too skinny, and given my height (approx 5'7") it's even more noticable, and i just feel really awkward most of the time. People at school didn't help with that :sigh


----------



## minimized

I always say I'm ugly but in reality I'm not THAT awful. I'm no model but I don't think I'm quite as awful as I thought (on my good days at least). I'm not at all photogenic though.

I guess I stopped by not putting so much thought into my appearance.  Changed my hairstyle, put on contacts, and took a long look in the mirror. I dropped about 20 pounds so I feel better about myself as well. I felt pretty cool actually.

Still afraid to show myself here though


----------



## Marylandgreeneyes

nothing_to_fear said:


> yes good post. you're so damn positive, haha. i wish i was like that. i'm trying to get myself to stop having that constant thought that life is pointless when i'm so hideous because thinking that won't get me anywhere. i think i'm a little better than a year ago, i still obsess over my appearance but i have a little more confidence.. i think.


Lets make sweet love until you realize you're a beauty. Then...because its canada..smoke weed...which also happens to be great for anxiety! :clap


----------



## nothing to fear

Marylandgreeneyes said:


> nothing_to_fear said:
> 
> 
> 
> yes good post. you're so damn positive, haha. i wish i was like that. i'm trying to get myself to stop having that constant thought that life is pointless when i'm so hideous because thinking that won't get me anywhere. i think i'm a little better than a year ago, i still obsess over my appearance but i have a little more confidence.. i think.
> 
> 
> 
> Lets make sweet love until you realize you're a beauty. Then...because its canada..smoke weed...which also happens to be great for anxiety! :clap
Click to expand...

marijiuana + sex.. hehe sounds excellent to me.


----------



## markx

To be honest I think I'm quite good looking. :yes The person I see in the mirror is presentable and all his features seem to be well proportioned and in the right places. Unfortunately my camera tells a completely different story. :troll :b


----------



## oldgoat

physically, yes. unworthy of other humans' compassion and love, 4rlz. as far as personality, well, i can keep friends i just have a problem hooking new ones. could it be my lack of self- esteem perhaps? 

lately though i've been thinking that even if i could afford all the plastic surgery i think i need i wouldn't go through with it. mostly becuase it's barbaric and it could go way bad, but also because i do actually like myself. when i'm not comparing myself to movie stars and supermodels i feel pretty decent actually. worthy of some self-love. so i'm trying to work with what i got "as is" now and i'm really not looking at models faces or bodies when i look through fashion mags anymore. pretty clothes only.


----------



## Noca

I feel ugly 75% of the time.


----------



## pickedlastingym

I used to be. It took awhile (and a lot of attention) before I realized I wasnt anymore. The problem's all about personality.


----------



## Tristram

I used to think I look disgusting, but not anymore. More like average. My ears are sticking out slightly and I have crooked teeth, but other than that, can't really complain. My body still looks pretty nasty, but a couple of years at the gym and that should be history.


----------



## eagleheart

markx said:


> To be honest I think I'm quite good looking. :yes The person I see in the mirror is presentable and all his features seem to be well proportioned and in the right places. Unfortunately my camera tells a completely different story. :troll :b


IT'S NOT JUST ME!!! :eek I look okay in the mirror, I guess... but in most pictures, I look hideous!

When I look in the mirror, I mean, I don't look that _good_, but _okay_. I feel okay. Then I get a picture back, and I look like ten ton Tony and I don't want to show myself anywhere. :eek I have no idea why that is! I didn't notice this weird effect with other people. :con


----------



## ilikeshinythings274

I don't think I'm ugly but I'm not pretty either. Usually, I'm too busy worrying about other things so I don't really pay much attention to my appearance. But when I do, it's never that good. I look around and think that all the other girls just look prettier than I do. They dress better than I do. Thank goodness I have my sister to help me out with fashion.


----------



## Cosmin

Given that no girl has ever shown the slightes interest towards me, I think it's safe to say I'm ugly. Maybe my looks are not that hideous, but I'm ugly on the inside, so it compensates. :duck


----------



## ardrum

I think inserting and reinforcing a sense of humor about our appearance can really "lighten the mood" when it comes to facing the situation of constantly insulting ourselves based on our looks. I saw how friends I've had over the years do this in regards to their looks, and I saw how they didn't really mind how they looked when using such humor. I have used humor to lighten my mood for years now, and it's become quite natural now to the point where I don't get severely depressed like I was in college. I just find taking myself seriously for any _prolonged_ period of time to be rather ridiculous and humorous to me, and I can't help then but to basically laugh at the situation. It's hard to describe, but it's just so natural now.

In addition, just exuding that sort of positive, humorous approach toward life (without having to compromise reality in the process) is, on average, a far more attractive trait than moping around about how hideous we are with Poe-like gloom. That's all I did in college, and I annoyed the HELL out of my friends. They had to be wonderful friends for sticking with me despite how silly, immature, and irrational I acted. I'm still a bit embarrassed by some of the things I said and did back then, as I can't imagine doing those things now.

Does it _guarantee_ that you'll meet friends and experience relationships by being more light-hearted about our situation? Of course not! Does it improve your chances? Of course it does. If it didn't, then our personalities and outlook would have NO impact on attractiveness, when in reality it clearly does.


----------



## CoconutHolder

^^^^
Great post, Ardrum!


----------



## nightmahr

I say we all just have excellent taste.

Given that, being ugly can be alright. Beautiful people accept their beauty, so why can't the ugly do the same?


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

I would give myself a 7/10 lately. I THINK I got checked out a couple times today. Whoo 

Ross


----------



## nothing to fear

i don't think i have ever gotten "checked out". how often do normal people get checked out? whenever i see a guy glance at me i assume it's unintentional. i have gotten minor looks from guys when i'm wearing certain shirts that make me look more... _busty _than i actually am. but i've never been fully checked out, i'm practically invisible to guys.


----------



## quietgal

Yep, I'm a plain jane. I'm practically invisible to most guys too, but I guess on the upside it does help ward off the shallow ones.


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

hellooo!

See? Aint workin'


----------



## Social_butterfly00

i give myself a 6.8 out of 10. like others, some days are better than others... I used to be pretty but not anymore.


----------



## User57854

-


----------



## apaulson

I must be ugly since no girls talk to me and my sa keeps me from talking to them :cry


----------



## Drella

I look like Marilyn Monroe. 

Marilyn Monroe in her current state, I mean.


----------



## ericj

Drella said:


> I look like Marilyn Monroe.
> 
> Marilyn Monroe in her current state, I mean.


Have you ever posted a picture? Your constant self-loathing makes me curious.


----------



## Drella

I'm too elusive to be clearly photographed, like Sasquatch.


----------



## livingnsilence

I atcually don't have an ugly body in fact i'd say my body is almost hot, but my face is another story, it's ugly.


----------



## ANCIENT

sometimes i feel like the elephant man.


----------



## LonelyEnigma

Body + Face + Self Confidence + Social Aptitude= Appearance 

9/10 + 7/10 + 2/10 +2/10 = 20/40 = 50% = F = Un-datable


----------



## sean88

LonelyEnigma said:


> Body + Face + Self Confidence + Social Aptitude= Appearance
> 
> 9/10 + 7/10 + 2/10 +2/10 = 20/40 = 50% = F = Un-datable


LMAO! Sorry but I have to laugh... just the way you put it.


----------



## RubyTuesday

LonelyEnigma said:


> Body + Face + Self Confidence + Social Aptitude= Appearance
> 
> 9/10 + 7/10 + 2/10 +2/10 = 20/40 = 50% = F = Un-datable


...you forgot the difficult to define 'x factor'. But that can't really fit into a formula.

Take me for example: I'm sex on legs :yes ...but half the time I don't look so great and my self confidence socially is not so good, and I'm 10 kilos overweight.
And yet in the last year, I got attention/almost picked up at the following
-my anxiety support group meeting, with the group leader
-meditation class, again the group leader and another dude playing guitar
-at my unemployment service, a guy chatted me up

...even being in the gutter can't stop me
-yep, 'sex on legs' 
:duck


----------



## RubyTuesday

People here I think put themselves down too much!! :no ...Part of being attractive in my opinion is a healthy self-delusional vanity. :yes :yes 
...Just look at Frida Kahlo's husband, Diego Riviera: he was fat and ugly and had sex with heaps of gorgeous women. :stu


----------



## c0maWhite

well, I consider myself relatively good looking, but I still have social anxiety and I still hate myself most of the time. Makes no sense. :stu


----------



## wishfulthinking

I think I'm average. My nose is a little big for my face and I have some acne scars... and I'm about 15 lbs overweight. But I'm not the ugliest chick in the bunch. Guys try to talk to me all the time when I'm out and about. It's just usually not the guys I want to date. I'm exercising and lost weight, a little more and I'll be where I want to be. Some of u on here are being way to hard on yourselves... looking at most stars before PS, most were a stones throw away from where most people are on here. look @ good plastic surgery. com & you'll be surprised. Most of my a scars are gone and I'm getting a nose job so soon I will be unstoppable lol. On a serious note if u don't like something about yourself either fix it or learn 2 like it cause you have to live with yourself..


----------



## ericj

Drella said:


> I'm too elusive to be clearly photographed, like Sasquatch.


So, which forest are you hiding in? Maybe I'll make a detour by there sometime.

Don't worry, I'm never carry a camera, and even when I am I'm too slow to catch something like that. No tabloid grade shots, that's for sure.


----------



## kevinffcp

Geez, I am too good looking to be ugly


----------



## madmoragan

if you think your unattractive then fine, so be it. we prize beauty as human beings because beauty or someone defined as being symmetrical seems healthier to us than someone who isnt very symmetrical. its interesting to think we as humans have a serious problem with the way we come off to others both physically and emotionally. we think if i only had her looks or if i had his personality then everyone would like me. to be frank, everyone in the world has someone if not many people that dislike them or potentially would dislike them. so back to being unattractive, since when does it matter that we are attractive? well for one physically attractive people aka people who look healthy are those who get to pass their genes on with another healthy attractive person. ok, attractive meaining what? someone who looks as if their body would be strong enough to fight off disease infection and someone who can bring you healthy offsping as well as defend themselves. beauty isnt based off of tv its somethings genetically programmed into our brains. if you saw a hot model who was dying of aids would you want to procreate with her. obviously that would infect you and your offspring causing a lack of healthy characteristics. so when we define beauty its not the person with the new purse or nice car. its something we are programmed to recognize. lets say some people who say they are unattractive are unattractive. ok, so what can we do with this? hmm well for one you can learn not to focus on it as if it was a big deal. dont let the media and glamour models bring you down. how many people can qulify as being a model? maybe 1-2% of the population. they think theyve got what everyone else wants and thats what the media portrays. when we see an ad for someone with acne. the before picture they look as if they feel miserable, havent taken a shower in a while an their life is ruined. now lets looks at the after picture, they look "perfect" thanks to digital technology. now they are happy they are out enjoying themselves. if you dont notice this, talk about a subliminal yet very obvious message. the guys are now being pressured into increasing their penis size. if a girl cant accept you the way you are then she obviously has a false sense of whats right. she buys into well they have that pill that makes you grow. sounds like shes got a selfish desire to please herself rather than you. how are we supposed to believe our own minds and feelings when the media says that they are the ones with the right info. since when did humanity stop trusting themselves and let fear and hate into their lives as if they deserve to feel that way. every night the media shapes our brains when we watch commercials and ads about how a famous actor is now wearing these clothes. it becomes ok to wear these clothes now. since when did flat brimmed hats become the style. back in the 90s i remember kids being made fun of for wearing their hat bills flat. now its all the rage and couldnt look any cooler because when you see that guy wearing that cap you think oh yeah that famous rapper with lots of money and women wears it. i guess i can be accepted for it. its sad that so many of our own personal problems are based of other peoples interpretations. since when was an opinion a fact? just because someone says they are right and sounds right doesnt mean they are right. many minds have been brainwashed from such a technique. they think well he sounds right so i guess he is right, only problem being you never took the time to think for yourself. if you say your ugly your basing your attractiveness off of other peoples attractiveness. they may say your ugly and some peopel are but since when have we lost the ability to govern our own minds. it may hurt to be put down but we are the only ones who can bring ourselves back up when this happens. instead of buying into someone elses crap live for yourself and those you love. and for christ sake show some love for who you are. no one deserves to live a life from a bleak outllook. start today and you will succeed.


----------



## palecadude

no way. besides i heard girls are into really pale short guys. :roll


----------



## DJBrosco

Sometimes I think I look OK and other times, I can't look at myself in the mirror. Women have found me attractive and luckily I found a wife that thought so too, but I honestly hate the way I look on camera. That's why I refuse to take pictures and will probably never post my picture on this site. I have posted pictures before, but I would prefer not to.


----------



## shyvr6

I think my face is average looking. I used to be in shape, but I gotten lazy lately. I have to get motivated to go back and start working out again, so I'll have a good body, but average face, lol.


----------



## bauer_013

I think I have the potential to be average-looking, if I could just fix a couple things. This is really bothering me though... today at school a teacher's assistant called me "big guy". And he didn't sound like he was joking. First of all, I'm not that tall (5'8'), I'm not that fat, and I am definitely a girl, with somewhat long hair. Ugh, I really hope he didn't think I was a guy. Now I'm paranoid that I look like a she-man.


----------



## kj6754

bauer_013 said:


> I think I have the potential to be average-looking, if I could just fix a couple things. This is really bothering me though... today at school a teacher's assistant called me "big guy". And he didn't sound like he was joking. First of all, I'm not that tall (5'8'), I'm not that fat, and I am definitely a girl, with somewhat long hair. Ugh, I really hope he didn't think I was a guy. Now I'm paranoid that I look like a she-man.


is that u in your avi?


----------



## Mc Borg

Why is there so many views for this topic?!? :con


----------



## shyvr6

Maybe because we are hoping someone will be uglier than ourselves? LoL


----------



## Jennifer1234

You know, I don't think I'm ugly necessarily, but there is a part of me that thinks if I were stunningly beautiful then everyone would love me and then I wouldn't have SA.


----------



## Anon7

Jennifer1234 said:


> You know, I don't think I'm ugly necessarily, but there is a part of me that thinks if I were stunningly beautiful then everyone would love me and then I wouldn't have SA.


Too bad if that was true you'd still have low self esteem and be just another beautiful person, the kind you currently are envious of, and make others envious and disappointed with you at the same time.

People who have it worse than you and yet are less sorry for themselves than you are inspiring. Why not try to be one of those inspiring people instead of wanting to be one that makes life harder for others?


----------



## Ken_Noddy

ardrum said:


> Another way to look at it is how we look by relative position, compared to other guys/gals.
> 
> I remember a few years ago how I joined that Hot or Not site, just to see how lowly I'd rate. I was in the "least hot" 10% with multiple pictures. I did it again later on, and I was in the 30th percentile.
> 
> If we're perceived, on average, to be of inferior appearance when compared to others, I think it's best to accept it. If we're still in pain, we obviously haven't accepted it because we're still hoping it isn't the case. We're still longing to be better looking, which makes us miserable. You can't accept your appearance while simultaneously not accepting it.
> 
> I don't pretend to have The Answer for how one can go about such acceptance, but I'm quite confident that this self-acceptance is what relieves us from our agony.
> 
> I can fully accept these days how I'm not very physically "hot" at all when compared to other guys, but this does not devastate nor disable me from being happy. In addition, as I said earlier, there is always variance within a population of how they think you look (no matter what your emotionally biased beliefs tell you).
> 
> Nevertheless, I don't live in a fairy tale land where I dream to look "hot" anymore. Likewise, I don't live in fairy tale land where I believe I'm a hideous monster who is incapable of being seen as attractive. Hell, people might even think I'm "cute" from time to time. It's not only possible, but it is probably the case as well.
> 
> One more note: Self-acceptance is more attractive than reinforcing beliefs of inadequacy.


A brilliant post ardrum, I tried the very same website with the very same result and have gone through months of self loathing. 
Self-acceptance is the key and that is something I aspire to.

It's tough to change something so deeply ingrained though, I still expect people to double-up and vomit when they see me.


----------



## Marylandgreeneyes

That type of thinking isnt true, and only leads to more problems. Besides, you are good looking, so how can you use that logic!


----------



## Noca

i dont think im ugly, i know im ugly


----------



## minimized

I've officially decided that I look like a cross between Michael Jackson after a stroke and an overweight scarecrow; I can be used as an anti-theft device.


----------



## jas498

No... I don't think I'm ugly. But I think other people think I am. 

Crap lol.


----------



## omgnoudidnt

In general, yes. I have many unattractive qualities.


----------



## Marylandgreeneyes

Clearly only ugly people have social anxiety.


----------



## CaveDweller

I don't consider myself ugly. But I'm certainly no great looker. Physical attractiveness is really not an issue for me though.


----------



## girlleo19

sometimes and it depends on the situation..


----------



## learning07

sometimes i do think I'm ugly, and sometimes i think I'm a handsome fella.I recall A time i worked at a theatre as cashier and this guy was giving me a hard time, and his wife whispered to him "hes very handsome"  feels good. Lot of girls find me cute though. I had numerous occasions where girls liked me and wanted to go out with me, but of course my anxiety......prevented me from going on any further which REALLY Suks!


----------



## mshopeful

I used to think I was ugly in HS, but now I think I look 10x better. 

Ask yourself this question. 
What is your self- image based on?
Is your self-image based on the material things in life? clothes,hair, cars, money... or your "inner being"?

I've been working very hard at loving myself for who I am and not the material things in life. Yes, self-image and self-love go hand-in-hand. 

I've found that some days, I feel better about myself as opposed to other days. When I dress in nice clothing, for some reason I feel better about myself and believe that I come off as more confident.

It's called learning to live a balanced life! Seeing yourself as pretty or handsome everyday and not every other day. I'm working on it!


----------



## mshopeful

Why do you think your ugly? 
-facial features,clothes you wear, weight, past experiences of being teased by others, etc...?

I'm interested in knowing why we feel the way we do.

As for my story, I was teased in middle school and HS. People teased me about my lips, being skinny, and being the smarter, quiet one. People made me believe that I was ugly. It didn't help the situation that I couldn't afford the nice clothing and shoes that others could. 
Now, I'm learning not to compare myself to others. I take better care of myself as well.


----------



## Ken_Noddy

Why do you think your ugly?

That is a good question mshopeful. Like you I was teased at school for being a loner and acting a bit different from everyone else, it's not a pleasant experience is it? I don't think I was physically unattractive when I was younger, I feel there where some girls who liked me at school but I was far too shy to speak to them. 
It seems that in the last four or five years I've aged rapidly though, with hair falling out, loads of wrinkles, bags under eyes and a general hangdog expression brought on by years of feeling miserable about myself. It's annoying as I look after myself healthwise yet look a mess while I see plenty of people where I live who abuse their health with drink and drugs and still look a million times better than I do.
I often wonder if being in an anxious state for a prolonged period of time actually effects your appearance?


----------



## vicente

Why do I think I'm ugly?

I'm ugly and not only on a subjective level.

I mean I have below average looks but that's subjective as some people say.

Objectively, I am of "Asian" race which excludes me from being seen as attractive by more than 80% of the White/ Black female population due to their racist "tastes". But above all, I am shy and unconfident and that alone makes me a 1 out of 10 in the beauty department.


----------



## Salvina83

If you realise, do you see other people that have so much confidence and think they look good, you should be like well i look good and better then that person why dont i have that confidence, People dont really care how you look as long as your a nice person and have a good personality. Its all about what you feel not what you look like. Honestly people have betters things to think about then your uglyness. You need to work on what you feel, then what you look like. Do you judge other ugly looking people, most likely no but if you do its maybe for a few seconds and then its gone, you dont care, this is what others so also. So keep working on your confidence. Think of what you have better and what you have most that other dont have and im sure that those others wish they had what you did.


----------



## ThomP

mshopeful said:


> Why do you think your ugly?
> -facial features,clothes you wear, weight, past experiences of being teased by others, etc...?


For me, it's the past bad experience. I wasn't actually called ugly, but ridiculed enough about my looks. Most importantly, I'm bald, which is bugging me a lot... I used to be overweight, but lost most of it luckily, that's why I think I'm no longer butt-ugly (just normally ugly).

The hair thing is the biggest factor for me... I just think that people can't really think of bald men as attractive.

I also think I look ridiculous when I smile, which is why I usually don't do it...

If you're not confident about your looks, and get it hammered into your head, you don't really give a damn about whether it's true or not

- Thom


----------



## ardrum

It's frustrating to me to hear so many people who aren't ugly or unattractive thinking that they are ugly/unattractive. I'm not frustrated at them, but simply that they are suffering based on false impressions on how people see them based on a few hand-picked anecdotes of people being insulting rather than the big picture. 

Sheesh, come on, you people are making the people who actually get very poor looks ratings on a mass scale look bad by making us ALL seem irrational!


----------



## HoboQueen

Here's why I think I'm ugly.

I'm fat. Fat is ugly. I don't like the shape of my face. It's round and doughy and gross. I'm young looking. I've got the eternal baby face. Which is fine when you are young (I was an adorable baby). It's creepy when you get older. And to top it all off I have a disgusting scar on my nose. A lot of it has to do with my personal preferences. If I saw someone who looked like me walk down the street I would think they were ugly as well. Since I don't see myself as being very good looking I can't imagine anyone else would either.


----------



## sean88

As long as I'm dressed up, I think I look pretty damn good. Now If i wake up, don't shower, and wear the clothes from the previous day (usually like after I spend the night at a friend's house,) I feel like dog shyte.


----------



## LostinReverie

ardrum said:


> Sheesh, come on, you people are making the people who actually get very poor looks ratings on a mass scale look bad by making us ALL seem irrational!


No kidding. That's what I was thinking.


----------



## RubyTuesday

What I read in one of my wacked-out spirituality books (when I was going through that phase a few years back)...

"a H.E.B. (Highly Evolved Being) doesn't care about physical appearance..."


----------



## ardrum

Are you saying people here are pond sludge, Ruby?


----------



## RubyTuesday

ardrum said:


> Are you saying people here are pond sludge, Ruby?


 :haha ...No!! ...but I'd sure as hell like to be able to!!! :rofl


----------



## angel_eyes27073

Everyone tells me that I am pretty, but when i look in the mirror i dont see what they see, I know someday I will, its just getting to that point.


----------



## ThomP

RubyTuesday said:


> "a H.E.B. (Highly Evolved Being) doesn't care about physical appearance..."


Too bad that humans are far away from that...

- Thom


----------



## ThomP

angel_eyes27073 said:


> Everyone tells me that I am pretty, but when i look in the mirror i dont see what they see, I know someday I will, its just getting to that point.


There's two different worlds: The one that is, and the one that we perceive... seems like we perceive the wrong one...

- Thom


----------



## mshopeful

I agree with Salvina83. It's all about confidence in oneself. 

How do you love you? see you? treat you?
I think people see us the way we see ourselves.

Some things that have worked for me:
-learning to love self, people will begin to love you the same. 
-taking more care of self (exercise, facials, drinking water, taking vitamins, eating healthy, etc.)
-Appearing confident when approaching others. If you only smile and force yourself to say Hi. I always smile and it's taken me a long way 
(even though I do it b/c I don't have anything to say) :rofl 
-and when you are complimented, accept it and don't respond negatively (Thank you, but...). Be positive.
-Look at you and others from the inside. You're good-hearted, caring, friendly, whatever.


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

Today I thought my skin looked better and inside I felt good. At the same time as I felt really good, I noticed two pretty girls, one after the other, smile at me.

Seems internal mood and self opinion plays a big part in attractiveness and whether you actually notice when people like you.


----------



## shy violet

i feel ugly most of the time...people have told me that i'm pretty but i always feel like they're just trying to be nice. :sigh


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

shy violet said:


> but i always feel like they're just trying to be nice. :sigh


1. *"they are just trying to be nice"* = _"Disqualifying the positive AND Mind Reading"_ You do not know whethe they meant it or not, but your negative outlook convinces you that they must be lying despite any evidence to the contrary - other than ...

2. *"I always feel"* = _"Emotional reasoning"_. Your feelings are not facts. They are based on the negative thoughts you have about yourself. I feel bad so I must be ugly. I am ugly so therefore I should feel bad. Vicious circle complete, and any eveidence to the contrary destroyed like an overzealous FBI agent at the "disqualifying the positive" stage.

3. *"I feel ugly most of the time"* = _"emotional reasoning"_

4. *"I am ugly"* = _"labeling"_ - you make your entire person rest upon this one condition. because the thought of being ugly distresses you so much, it absorbs you and becomes the sole representation of YOU in this world.

5. *Define ugly.* I would go for the elephant man. From a scale of 1-10, 1 being elephant man - with distorted, pus filled features and a hangy-out eyeball, 10 being Ellse MacPherson, how ugly / pretty are you compared to the ENTIRE POPULATION - not just the models on the tv and the cheerleader types you tend to focus on at school or in work, which feeds into the ...

6. *Mental filter* - focusing solely on negative inputs in your life, like wearing a special pair of sunglasses. Filtering out positive and neutral events and seeing only bad ones. Noticing only model-gorgeous women and not the vast array of attractive but not Naomi Campbell women out there.

7. *Personalisation* - attributing any slight percieved rejection to yourself and as proof that you are being rejected due to your ugliness. Also feeds into Mind Reading.

8. *Magnification error* - belittling or completely ignoring any of your own attractive features or qualities whilst inflating the apparently more attractive or valuable qualities of others.

9. *Underlying Assumption* - If I were beautiful I would be happy. Where is the evidence? Marilyn Monroe killed herself yet was regarded as one of the worlds most beautiful women. Countless models are referred for therapy every year because of a nagging sense of emptiness in their lives. We can look at them and say "oh yeah, vacuous airheads" - but if their beauty is not making them happy, why should YOU adopt this rule?

10. *Underlying Assumption 2* - "If I am beautiful then other people will want to be with me and will love me. If other people approve of me then I will always be happy.". Does approval always make you happy? What if a tramp said it? What if a good looking guy siad it? You have to buy into the comment for it to make you feel good. You could be GORGEOUS, but if you don;t believe it then you will NEVER register the approval of others. You may be prone to manipulation as people can try to use your neediness to control you by threatening to not approve of you. If you lose your looks, your entire basis of value will collapse and you will be depressed, when in fact a strong sense of self love, cultivated by an acceptance of your strengths and weaknesses, fancies and foibles and the insistence that others accept you for WHO YOU ARE in all your glory, will make you happier, for longer, than the brief hit that any amorous glance can give. Romantic love is 90% of the time not the healer that movies make it out to be - in fact it can very often intensify bad feelings that already exist as one or other of the partners becomes ever more demanding for approval. You also miss the point that because you must validate others comments, it is in fact YOU who approves of YOURSELF - butr as it occurs so close to the other persons comment, you get the two confused and instead of searching for self-love, pursue infatuation as a substitute for the hole in your life.

Sorry to pick on you but this was a great example of how distortions in our thinking upset us - and where there is depression or anxiety there is almost always cognitive distortion.


----------



## ThomP

mshopeful said:


> I agree with Salvina83. It's all about confidence in oneself.


Agreed, that's the problem, but if confidence in oneself would be so easily attainable, no one of us would have SA.

It's not a mind thing. Most of us can more or less agree that the ugliness they see in themselves is exaggerated by a distorted self-image. However, the problem is the feeling, that little voice that says such things to you.



> -learning to love self, people will begin to love you the same.


How ? How can you learn to love yourself ? It sounds easy, but it's IMHO actually the hardest thing in the whole exercise.



> -taking more care of self (exercise, facials, drinking water, taking vitamins, eating healthy, etc.)


Did that, lost lots of weight, exercising each day... That helped me a lot (see my previous post), but it only goes so far...



> -and when you are complimented, accept it and don't respond negatively (Thank you, but...). Be positive.
> -Look at you and others from the inside. You're good-hearted, caring, friendly, whatever.


More or less the same problem as with loving yourself. How ? The inner voice (your feelings) will always tell you otherwise...


----------



## nightmahr

I've also found that trying to take better care of myself has improved my self-image.

Or maybe I really just look better now


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

ThomP said:


> mshopeful said:
> 
> 
> 
> I agree with Salvina83. It's all about confidence in oneself.
> 
> 
> 
> Agreed, that's the problem, but if confidence in oneself would be so easily attainable, no one of us would have SA.
> 
> It's not a mind thing. Most of us can more or less agree that the ugliness they see in themselves is exaggerated by a distorted self-image. However, the problem is the feeling, that little voice that says such things to you.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> -learning to love self, people will begin to love you the same.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> How ? How can you learn to love yourself ? It sounds easy, but it's IMHO actually the hardest thing in the whole exercise.
> 
> [quote:1bs1rhi0]-taking more care of self (exercise, facials, drinking water, taking vitamins, eating healthy, etc.)
Click to expand...

Did that, lost lots of weight, exercising each day... That helped me a lot (see my previous post), but it only goes so far...



> -and when you are complimented, accept it and don't respond negatively (Thank you, but...). Be positive.
> -Look at you and others from the inside. You're good-hearted, caring, friendly, whatever.


More or less the same problem as with loving yourself. How ? The inner voice (your feelings) will always tell you otherwise...[/quote:1bs1rhi0]

1) Finding a way to see that what other people think of you will NEVER make you truly happy or sad.
2) "Loving" is a verb. Loving yourself means looking after yourself. Cleaning. Cooking. Filling you life with hobbies, pursuits, small achievement. Treating yourself like you would a VIP or someone you love. You can't 'acquire' self love - you have to give it, constantly, by actions.
3) Talking back to the inner voice by challenging it with verfiable evidence instead of emotions-based conjecture. Your feelings are not facts - they only reflect your inner beliefs about yourself. If you modify the beliefs you can change how you feel. CBT is an endlessly documented, proven method for doing this. There are many books available but if you can find a good therapist that is best.

You either take action or you stay the same. Thats it.


----------



## kintrovert

Ken_Noddy said:


> It seems that in the last four or five years I've aged rapidly though, with hair falling out, loads of wrinkles, bags under eyes and a general hangdog expression brought on by years of feeling miserable about myself. It's annoying as I look after myself healthwise yet look a mess while I see plenty of people where I live who abuse their health with drink and drugs and still look a million times better than I do.
> I often wonder if being in an anxious state for a prolonged period of time actually effects your appearance?


I can definitely relate. For the most part, I've been careful about what eat (I'm far from perfect - but my diet could be _so_ much worse), I've exercised (whenever my depression was "in remission" enough to do it), I've barely even touched a drink, I've never smoked or done illicit drugs. Yet I'm fat, and people have routinely assumed that I'm older than I really am. Medications and mental illness have definitely taken a toll on my appearance, I think - and it's not like I had "looks" to spare or anything. I couldn't "afford" for this to happen, and yet it has.

And I've been thinking about your last question lately - because I feel as though the difficult year I've just been through has aged me even more. I tried to go w/o medication (I was trying to do the "naturalpathic" thing) - but I went through a disasterous year of out-of-control anxiety, extreme mental stress, and anguish. I can see the result of this stress in my face - there are some lines and "puffiness" in my face that weren't there even ten months ago. My skin has lost elasticity - I've lost about 20lb over the past year (still fat), and the weight loss in my face has made my skin not as "tight" as it was a year ago. So this year has convinced me more than ever that anxiety and stress (and anxiety is definitely stress) really do age you - particularly after you reach a certain age (your '30s).

There have also been other signs of aging, and a lot of this seemed to happen within a span of months...as if it all "coincided" with the intensification of my anxiety. Coincidence? I think not.


----------



## karkar

The general notion of beauty is so flawed that its hard to think of yourself as anything but less than ideal. I don't think I'm all that attractive. I think on an average day, I'm probably a 4, if I take time to wear makeup and go the extra length then maybe a 7 on those days. It's odd... I do 'take care of myself', even though I am overweight. I do like buying clothes and grooming myself (I am even a dedicated poster for the Lush forum- Lush is a company that manufactures mostly organic/natural bath/cosmetic stuff). Regardless of the insane amounts of time and money spent, I still cannot glance at myself in a mirror, window, or ANY reflective surface unless I've mentally prepared myself. I even make a face subconsciously (my sister calls it 'the model pout') as I'm looking at myself. It's like my body has programmed itself to brace for my reflection. 

What bothers me most is the people who constantly get told 'Oh, you're/she's so pretty/hot/cute/sexy!', and instead I get 'Oh, you're/she's so funny/smart!'. You might as well just say 'Oh, you're/she's ugly!', because that's basically what is being said anyway. Just spare yourself the energy and say nothing at all. I'd rather wonder forever then be slipped a backhanded comment. Don't tell me I'm funny. You think I don't know that? You think the words and sentences randomly come out of my mouth and just happen to be funny? Yeah, right.
/rant over


----------



## kintrovert

There have been some really positive, helpful things posted in this thread - things that make me feel guilty for the self-pity I'm about to post. :um

As I alluded to before, I'm in a bit of an aging "crisis" now. I feel like my best-looking years are long gone - and I didn't even get to take advantage of those years and enjoy them. Aging really spooks many women out - because of the (true) cliche that women are judged and valued more for their youthful looks than men are. Society is less forgiving of an aging woman - men who are in their '60s (heck - even '70s) can be considered sexy and attractive, but once a woman reaches age 35 or 40 - they have a much harder time being seen as sexually attractive.

So I'm dealing with all of this now - my youth having been eaten alive by my unfortunate circumstances, and aging. And being quite overweight definitely hurts my cause - as does the thinning hair and the flawed, acne-prone skin (which has always been a problem).

And I never was one who turned a lot of heads. But I would get some attention (looks) from time to time. But in recent years - I've gotten almost _none_. I was recently on another messageboard where the women were talking about guys giving them desiring looks, men approaching them giving them compliments and "pick up lines", etc. And it really depressed me reading all of those posts, because I realized that I lived in a different universe than these women. In my universe - guys _never_ approach me, and almost never look at me b/c they find me attractive. There might be different reasons for this other than my sheer, God-given looks (or lack thereof) - but whatever all of the reasons are, it certainly isn't a good feeling to be "invisible" (from an attractiveness-standpoint).

Maybe things would get a little better if I started caring for myself more - maybe. (But saying this and doing it are two very different things when you've been struggling with severe depression for the past 13 years.) I'm certainly at that age where caring for yourself starts to become crucial if you don't want everything to "go to pot".


----------



## anabolic2894

mshopeful said:


> I agree with Salvina83. It's all about confidence in oneself.
> 
> How do you love you? see you? treat you?
> I think people see us the way we see ourselves.
> 
> Some things that have worked for me:
> -learning to love self, people will begin to love you the same.
> -taking more care of self (exercise, facials, drinking water, taking vitamins, eating healthy, etc.)
> -Appearing confident when approaching others. If you only smile and force yourself to say Hi. I always smile and it's taken me a long way
> (even though I do it b/c I don't have anything to say) :rofl
> -and when you are complimented, accept it and don't respond negatively (Thank you, but...). Be positive.
> -Look at you and others from the inside. You're good-hearted, caring, friendly, whatever.


 That is so true. If you act confident people will treat you that way. Now I for the most part try to act confident. I make eye contact, say hello even when I don't want to talk, I make random small talk just to get into a talkative state and find a grove. I get a lot of looks and complements and it's been that way for a long time but it isn't until recently that I have learned to except it or at least not look unreceptive to them.


----------



## ThomP

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> 1) Finding a way to see that what other people think of you will NEVER make you truly happy or sad.


It's not even how other people see me. With me, it's just how I see myself, and I can't take myself seriously...



> 2) "Loving" is a verb. Loving yourself means looking after yourself. Cleaning. Cooking. Filling you life with hobbies, pursuits, small achievement. Treating yourself like you would a VIP or someone you love. You can't 'acquire' self love - you have to give it, constantly, by actions.


Well, I do all that. As I said, I work out, I keep myself clean (shower twice a day), shave every day, wear clean clothes, generally take good care of myself.



> 3) Talking back to the inner voice by challenging it with verfiable evidence instead of emotions-based conjecture. Your feelings are not facts - they only reflect your inner beliefs about yourself. If you modify the beliefs you can change how you feel. CBT is an endlessly documented, proven method for doing this. There are many books available but if you can find a good therapist that is best.


Meh, I'm currently doing a group therapy (basically, just talking) and realized that it doesn't do anything... I'm arranging for a switch to CBT in the meantime...



> You either take action or you stay the same. Thats it.


I did and I do. It helped some, but not all the way. I'm hoping for that CBT...

- Thom


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

Good oh Thom. Hopefully that will put you on a path to eventual inner acceptance. I think you seem like a nice guy and obviously intelligent as you argue your side of things! Looking forward to seeing how you get on 

Only thing I would ask - all those things you do for yourself, do you take them for granted? Or do they give you a sense of mastery and pleasure? One way to boost a sense of competence and satisfaction is try new things - hobbies, pursuits you dont already do. Even though one of the symtoms of depression is losing interest in activites, one of the ways to beat it is to start something - even though you may not feel like it. If the things you already do don't give you any sense of fun or satisfaction any more, then they won;t help.

When your book comes through, pay particular attention to the later chapters "You work is not your worth" and "Dare to be average". The commonest causes of depression are not feeling valued generally by others, or of placing your value on the work you do or whether you have a lover. Perfectionism is a biggie too. Anyway I think you will enjoy the book.

Guten gluck

Ross


----------



## ThomP

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> Only thing I would ask - all those things you do for yourself, do you take them for granted? Or do they give you a sense of mastery and pleasure?


Actually, doing them for myself since they do give me some kind of boost in self-esteem.



> Guten gluck


 Thanks (although it would be "Viel Glueck"  )


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

:lol cool, thanks Thom!


----------



## mshopeful

ThomP, 
Congrats on losing the weight...but your opinion on people not seeing bald men as attractive is so not true.


----------



## wootmehver

I get mixed reviews. A gay guy in college said he would never do me as I was too ugly (and I didn't even ask!). But a female friend of mine says I'm cute. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You have to cultivate the inner glow of spiritual beauty. It's the ego that demands that we all be gorgeous and handsome.


----------



## livingnsilence

Kevco said:


> Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. .


Very true. There is a guy I've met that I think is really ugly and many of the people I know think the same thing yet my friend who could be a modle because she's so pretty thinks he's cute and has dated him several times and he has broken it off with her a couple times to be with a girl who has actually done modeling. There must be something about him they like, I just don't see it.


----------



## Shauna The Dead

Sometimes I feel ugly, sometimes not so much... other people also have alot to do with how I feel about myself. Some people make me feel ugly, due to the way they treat me or if they look at me weird or something. :afr


----------



## ardrum

I am exactly the polar opposite of everything that entails the word. I also have supernatural powers like making pizza appear at will.


----------



## ThomP

mshopeful said:


> ThomP,
> Congrats on losing the weight...


Thanks ops



mshopeful said:


> but your opinion on people not seeing bald men as attractive is so not true.


Meh, I hope so :sigh



ardrum said:


> I also have supernatural powers like making pizza appear at will.


Neat. Does that work over great distances, too ? I'm kinda hungry ..


----------



## ardrum

ThomP said:


> ardrum said:
> 
> 
> 
> I also have supernatural powers like making pizza appear at will.
> 
> 
> 
> Neat. Does that work over great distances, too ? I'm kinda hungry ..
Click to expand...

It does, but I have helpers all across the world, just like Santa. I'll make a pizza appear at any pizza place you order from, and just pay them and it will come. Like magic!


----------



## JTenn

Yes, I do feel ugly. I've never been asked out, never been called "hot'' except by one lame guy, and nobody seems to look at me. Plus, I have very thin hair, and a childish face, no guy would wanna be seen with me.


----------



## ardrum

JTenn said:


> Yes, I do feel ugly. I've never been asked out, never been called "hot'' except by one lame guy, and nobody seems to look at me. Plus, I have very thin hair, and a childish face, *no guy would wanna be seen with me.*


Except the lame guy, right?


----------



## njodis

<-- lame guy


----------



## JTenn

ardrum said:


> JTenn said:
> 
> 
> 
> Yes, I do feel ugly. I've never been asked out, never been called "hot'' except by one lame guy, and nobody seems to look at me. Plus, I have very thin hair, and a childish face, *no guy would wanna be seen with me.*
> 
> 
> 
> Except the lame guy, right?
Click to expand...

 Trust me, he only talked to me when the hallways were empty, and after a few days of seeing how boring and unpopular I am [he'd repeatedly asked, " So what are you doing today?" and I'd say , " Nothing,''], he COMPLETELY stopped looking&talking to me.


----------



## wootmehver

JTenn said:


> Yes, I do feel ugly.


Don't write yourself off so soon. A little fashion makeover could work wonders for you, could really jazz up your image. A lot of attractive celebrities look ugly when they don't have their faces plastered with makeup.


----------



## nothing to fear

JTenn said:


> ardrum said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> JTenn said:
> 
> 
> 
> Yes, I do feel ugly. I've never been asked out, never been called "hot'' except by one lame guy, and nobody seems to look at me. Plus, I have very thin hair, and a childish face, *no guy would wanna be seen with me.*
> 
> 
> 
> Except the lame guy, right?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Trust me, he only talked to me when the hallways were empty, and after a few days of seeing how boring and unpopular I am [he'd repeatedly asked, " So what are you doing today?" and I'd say , " Nothing,''], he COMPLETELY stopped looking&talking to me.
Click to expand...

i think what ardrum is getting at is that if one guy thinks you are attractive, likely there are other guys that would feel the same. i'm trying to wrap my head around that.. seems like a very simple concept but i just can't believe that anyone would be attracted to me, even though at least a couple of guys have been.

anyway, even though my ugliness and general unattractiveness depresses the **** out of me i'm trying not to think of that because there is not much i can dramatically change about my appearance or the opinions of others so i need to stop obsessing about it. i can only change my view of myself and how i feel about myself. 
in fact i think having confidence might make my personality more attractive.


----------



## ardrum

If our physical appearance was a prerequisite for being in a loving relationship, then I guess those couples who are in their 70s and 80s must hate each other since they aren't as youthful-looking anymore and might have had some body-disfiguring surgeries to keep healthy.

"You have a scar now, Gertrude? What's that... an age spot too?! I am no longer attracted to you."

Riiiight.


----------



## shyvr6

I think physical attraction is a key part for a lot of people in the first stages of a relationship. While others are attracted to the mental aspect of a person. Later on, it's usually a combination of the two.


----------



## ardrum

It definitely varies from person to person. Some people marry each other based on physical appearance alone, :lol.

No wonder the divorce rate is so sky-high with such approaches.


----------



## ThomP

ardrum said:


> It definitely varies from person to person.


You will at least need some attraction to decide whether or not you're in for more or not. Looks alone aren't the only factor, but once you see somebody, you quickly make up your mind about being attracted or not at all. There's definitely a "looks" part involved. The degree varies from person to person, of course, and is probably less than our low self-esteem makes us think...

- Thom (still waiting for the magically appearing Pizza)


----------



## ardrum

ThomP said:


> ardrum said:
> 
> 
> 
> It definitely varies from person to person.
> 
> 
> 
> You will at least need some attraction to decide whether or not you're in for more or not. Looks alone aren't the only factor, but once you see somebody, you quickly make up your mind about being attracted or not at all. There's definitely a "looks" part involved. The degree varies from person to person, of course, and is probably less than our low self-esteem makes us think...
> 
> - Thom (still waiting for the magically appearing Pizza)
Click to expand...

Attraction, yes, but that's a more broad term than "physical attraction" of course.

See, I've never been able to be attracted to someone based on just looking at them. I'm not sure how others do it with ease. I can tell if someone has the typical "pretty" look, but I don't feel attracted to them unless I can interact with them intellectually. I can't emphasize enough how little of an advantage appearances gives a person in my eyes. I'm a oddball though.

I've only had a crush once in my life, and it was directed at someone I worked with. She was quite attractive to me, even though some of the other females were prettier on a first glance. That doesn't mean diddly crap to me though until I interact with them. They didn't hold a CANDLE to her in regards to attractiveness.

How many times have you seen "pretty" girls, only to find them to be boring or dull? For me, that kills any "advantage" (for what purpose?) that their looks might give them... completely.

I realize it's different for a lot of other guys though, who seem content to go by looks alone (or almost entirely), no matter the other factors about the person.


----------



## ThomP

ardrum said:


> Attraction, yes, but that's a more broad term than "physical attraction" of course.


Well, it also includes other things beyond the pure looks, of course (like, how you hold yourself, the way you walk, etc). However, (at least I think so) the first impression you get from someone is based on looks, and if it doesn't suit you, you might not approach and actually miss out of the best person in the world.



> How many times have you seen "pretty" girls, only to find them to be boring or dull? For me, that kills any "advantage" (for what purpose?) that their looks might give them... completely.


Meh, I'm usually not approaching any females, anyway, since I always think they will find me ugly and unattractive, so I don't even try :sigh stupid SA ...

I realize that it's a prejudice of me to think that everyone judges me by look, but heck, I can't get over that part since it's been hammered into my brain every frigging day of my school time.



> I realize it's different for a lot of other guys though, who seem content to go by looks alone (or almost entirely), no matter the other factors about the person.


Well, it's complete nonsense to go for looks alone, that's for sure. If you do that, it's a sure way of becoming unhappy for the rest of your life...

- Thom


----------



## wanderer82

Wow, I never knew there were so many other people whose SA stems from the way they feel about their looks. This has always been my problem, but I never told anyone for fear of what they would think, that I was vain or superficial.

I recently admitted it to my therapist b/c I was tired of him digging around for other things when I knew good & well why I was so anxious & depressed. He reacted like he had never heard such a crazy thing. I know he was trying to rationalize things for me, but if I think I'm ugly, I think I'm ugly... he can't change that. He tried to make it about perfectionism, asking me "Why do I feel I need to be a 10?" I said "I don't, I'll settle for being a 6 or a 7 or 8." I don't need to be perfect, in the top percentile, but it would be nice to not be in the bottom percentile.

Anyway, glad I found people who understand. I know I'll probably never feel good about myself, I just want to not give a sh*t so that I can go on with my life.


----------



## LostinReverie

wanderer82 said:


> Anyway, glad I found people who understand. I know I'll probably never feel good about myself, I just want to not give a sh*t so that I can go on with my life.


If you ever figure that out, please let me know.


----------



## quietgal

wanderer82 said:


> I recently admitted it to my therapist b/c I was tired of him digging around for other things when I knew good & well why I was so anxious & depressed. He reacted like he had never heard such a crazy thing. I know he was trying to rationalize things for me, but if I think I'm ugly, I think I'm ugly... he can't change that. He tried to make it about perfectionism, asking me "Why do I feel I need to be a 10?" I said "I don't, I'll settle for being a 6 or a 7 or 8." I don't need to be perfect, in the top percentile, but it would be nice to not be in the bottom percentile.


 :ditto

I'm all right thinking I'm plain or just not pretty, but what I'm really afraid of is appearing deformed/abnormal, weird-looking or not looking appropriate.

It's all right until I come across instances of prejudice, like when someone good-looking automatically has an easier time of things, when people visibly treat that person with more respect, or are more forgiving towards that person. I hate those articles that are always talking about how good-looking people get paid more, are happier, etc. etc. Argh. Pisses me off.


----------



## Ken_Noddy

Nice people can be cruel without even being aware of it sometimes too.

It is a blow to ones self esteem when you seem to be getting on well with someone until they actually see what you look like and then the whole thing cools very rapidly.

It's like a before and after scenario. Before, they think you have potential and then after they see you, they quickly change their minds. Ouch, that hurts. 

It's the way the world works I guess.


----------



## nothing to fear

quietgal said:


> It's all right until I come across instances of prejudice, like when someone good-looking automatically has an easier time of things, when people visibly treat that person with more respect, or are more forgiving towards that person. I hate those articles that are always talking about how good-looking people get paid more, are happier, etc. etc. Argh. Pisses me off.


same here, that depresses the **** out of me. i can go out in public thinking i'm okay and then i'll notice at school how all these very attractive females (there seem to be so many at this school.. :sigh ) get so much more attention by guys and teachers and are treated differently and i just feel so hideous in comparison, it makes me feel awful.


----------



## redrock

I haven't read through all of the posts because 27 pages is too much...so if my thoughts are repeats, sorry!

I've definitely had times where I thought I was really unattractive and I think it contributed to my SA. I've found that if I'm consistently exercising I feel a lot different about my appearance, even though I really don't look any different. I think working hard at something physical gives me a new appreciation for my body. Yeah, I may not be as pretty as plenty of the other girls I see every day, but I know I can probably run faster and longer than any of them. I'm not really comparing myself because I think that causes some of the trouble in the first place, but the physical accomplishments just make me feel better about my appearance.

Also, I worked with a girl who was really attractive, like model attractive, and everyone knew it. And in the end, it looked awful for her. All of the guys drooled all over her, and a lot of the girls hated her for being so attractive. I think she got pretty used by some of the guys. The point I'm trying to make is that being attractive can lead to more problems that it fixes. And to top it off I'm 99% sure she also suffered from SA, maybe because she'd had people so fixated on her her whole life.


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## LostinReverie

Ken_Noddy said:


> Nice people can be cruel without even being aware of it sometimes too.
> 
> It is a blow to ones self esteem when you seem to be getting on well with someone until they actually see what you look like and then the whole thing cools very rapidly.
> 
> It's like a before and after scenario. Before, they think you have potential and then after they see you, they quickly change their minds. Ouch, that hurts.
> 
> It's the way the world works I guess.


Story of my life.


----------



## trav777

I feel really ugly at times but it's mostly do to my acne that's causing horrible scarring and making me not look so pleasent to look at! But I have 2 siblings and they look...good. lol...so will see.


----------



## ANCIENT

yes. i look like $#!+.


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## HopeMarie88

See, I think this all has to to do with different people's perspectives. If someone looks at you and thinks, "Wow, that person's really [physically] unnattractive," I don't think that person would be worth your time to begin with! I mean, everyone judges physical appearance, but people who stop there are pretty shallow; which is a pretty poor quality in a person. The most beautiful people in my life aren't up to society's standards of physical beauty. But to me, they are in every way!


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## Jessie203

Not anymore. I thought so for a very long time though...
I think its mostly because I feel comfortable in my own skin now, like I can finally be who I am. I can be real.
I used to pack on the make up and dye my hair crazy colours and buy whatever my friends suggested but now I just feel like I have a natural glow. I just moisturize, style my hair, put on something cute and I'm out. Why waste my time to look like someone else? (Sorry, I dont mean to diss make up here, its great for covering up pimples or using bronzer and shimmer eyeshadow on special occassions but for day to day life I feel a lot prettier without it). I've also lost 10 pounds and thats boosted the confidence way UP!
If you don't like something on your body, and for a good reason, such as weight, hair in certain places, zits... just take care of it and dont do the quick fix.. take youre time with exercising, creams and whatever else and you'll get truly satisfying results. Also don't expect miracles though either. Even if you change something theres always going to be something else if you're not confidence. Accept yourself and love yourself before you change anything. You are worthy and deserve that at the least.
If the thing on youre body you dont like is say youre nose, or ears or something that can only be "fixed" through cosmetic surgery, than you need to accept it and take it as a part of who you are. Why would you want to look like everyone else anyways? Prominent features are actually very exotic, unique and appealing to the eyes. You're probably standing out for the right reasons instead of the wrong. Don't be so hard on yourself


----------



## kookzie

Every once in awhile I will get a good image of myself, but for the most part yes :rain


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## subzero0

i dont know, i guess it depends if im having a good hair day or if my face isn't breaking out, then i'll be pretty content with myself. but most of the time, i think i look really gross.


----------



## rb1088

I used to think of myself as ugly but then I try'd a little experiment by putting my picture on a rating site and according to 893 total strangers I'm a 7.1 out of 10. I don't know how true it is but it kinda of gave me a little boost in self-esteem.


----------



## luckyluckylucky

Mostly no don't think am ugly but I don't have a small nose to put it lightly, ah well


----------



## Karsten

I don't think I'm ugly, but I don't think I'm particularly good looking.


----------



## ScaredofBeez

It's kinda hard to judge yourself. I like to think I am a pretty decent looking dude.


----------



## youfailme

I dont see myself as ugly,

but I do wish i had a more varied wardrobe sometimes.


----------



## nubly

i think im average. i know i have a lot of physical flaws. it used to bother me when i was younger but ive learned to accept how i look like without caring what others may think


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

Nubbles

I think you look like a freakin movie star war hero sometimes. Serious!

Pardon my butt kissing kissing, Sargeant.

Ross


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

luckyluckylucky said:


> Mostly no don't think am ugly but I don't have a small nose to put it lightly, ah well


Id that you in your avatar? Oo


----------



## wanderer82

thekloWN said:


> I don't think I'm ugly, but I don't think I'm particularly good looking.


I'd have to disagree (about you not being particularly good looking). Love the hair btw.


----------



## wanderer82

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> luckyluckylucky said:
> 
> 
> 
> Mostly no don't think am ugly but I don't have a small nose to put it lightly, ah well
> 
> 
> 
> Id that you in your avatar? Oo
Click to expand...

Agreed, very cute. Better a small nose that the big honker taking over my face... I feel like the guy from the Afrin commercial... anyone remember those?


----------



## RubyTuesday

...I've actually decided to not even bother worrying about this, as much as I can help.
-Figuring that I have more important things to do my best to see that I don't worry about!!!!!!!!! ....ha ha: like the touch at the end- I could have said that "I have more important things to worry about" ...but I'm learnin' -I'm learnin' slowly to give up worry.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

I look exactly the same as I always have done but now I dont feel depressed I think Im way better looking. That might be because my depression made me think I was ugly, just like it made me think I was boring and useless.


----------



## RubyTuesday

glas said:


> I wear blue contacts and have recently bleached my hair blonde, it has helped tremendously with how I feel about the way I look. (It "lightens" my appearance) My face is still ugly, but I feel 25% better about what people see.


...it's quite funny, because I always thought you were not only quite pretty but uniquely. -Which, I actually figure is better than being pretty but looking like heaps of other people. ...that is always much more interesting.


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## Gerard

No. No. No. You are all attractive looking people with a lot of wonderful skills, attributes, talents, and potential in your lives. You are all so beautiful, so wonderful, and I bet so interesting too. Really. Yeah? Don't you think so?

warmly,
Gerard


----------



## Prism

There are a lot of good looking people on this website (and I've even had the pleasure of meeting several of them) but low self-esteem seems to skew their opinions of themselves. If you only could see what I see!


----------



## ThomP

> You are all attractive looking people


What if I really *AM* ugly ?


----------



## Cheesecake

Yeah, I do ... :um


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

ThomP said:


> You are all attractive looking people
> 
> 
> 
> What if I really *AM* ugly ?
Click to expand...

According to who? If only one person on this planet were attracted to you, then you would not be ugly because in that persons eyes you would be beautiful.

Beauty increases as love increases - not vice versa. Again its another thing of FAITH - you cannot know it until you try - let go of the logical (but wrong) part of you that seems so convincing and just BE.

Being glum and down on yourself BECAUSE you think you're ugly is 10,000,000 times more repellent than not having a culturally lauded facial structure. people will be attracted to you if you make them feel good to be around you.

Depression is like the devil - it lies to you and ts bloody convicing. Overcoming depression is like faith - you have to just suspend your belief in the lies for long enough to witness the other side of life.

Ross


----------



## shyvr6

I think the only thing that I'm a little self conscious about is my thinning and slowly receding hairline, lol. I'm guessing in a few years I'll have to have some short hair.


----------



## ThomP

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> ThomP said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You are all attractive looking people
> 
> 
> 
> What if I really *AM* ugly ?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> According to who?
Click to expand...

Dunno... me ? The people I meet that never give me positive feedback, but lots of negative feedback ?



> Again its another thing of FAITH - you cannot know it until you try - let go of the logical (but wrong) part of you that seems so convincing and just BE.


How ? That's always the problem, I see the need to, but I don't know how. What you basically say is "Change the way you see yourself". But that's as difficult as saying "In your world, red is blue from now on". You look at the sky, and still think "blue", not red...


----------



## RubyTuesday

-


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

Thom

Are you telling me that the people you meet come up and say "hey thom, wow you are ugly. Ok see ya"?


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## miruna

Yes, I do think I'm ugly. It was really bad when I was a teenager, and I heard people saying that I am ugly. Now many people tell me I am beautiful, but it's too late...I just feel that I don't know any girl who is uglier then me--I see something beautiful in anybody but me. 
And the worst thing is, that I know that it truly wouldn't matter. I know that if I had a better attitude and would be able to talk and joke with people I would be better off then with plastic surgery...If I could only pay 10,000 dollars to have my fear disappear, overnight.


----------



## ThomP

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> Are you telling me that the people you meet come up and say "hey thom, wow you are ugly. Ok see ya"?


No, but if no one reacts positively to me, it must be something like that.

Besides, if I look into the mirror, I can see that I'm far away from what is usually considered attractive. So the thought keeps creeping up on me all the time.


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## yeah_yeah_yeah

Hi Thom

Take it you haven't got too far with the CBT yet eh? No worries, all in good time 



> No, but if no one reacts positively to me, it must be something like that.


Why? Did you know that the most common symptom of depression are 'thinking biases', or filters where the sufferer interprets neutral information as negative, and even turns positive into negative? These biases are called "Mental Filter" and "Disqualifying the Positive".

To take a trivial example - if your buddy made some cookies and you ate them, and they tasted great but you didn't say so, would that be LOGICAL EVIDENCE that the cookies were bad? Or might it mean that for some reason, at that time, you didn't express it? Maybe he was talking. Maybe he seemed a little 'off'. Maybe you figured he just knew they were good. He may then reason you SHOULD (another bias - the 'should statement' where your inflexible rules for the world keep you depressed) have been complimentary. He may MIND READ you and presume you hated them and that because of that the cookies were bad, he is a failure and that he should NEVER EVER COOK AGAIN. He may feel angry at you and blame you for being so mean. How rational would that be? There are many reasons for it AND NONE OF THEM logically add up to "the cookies are bad" - no matter how you try to twist it.

And twisting is what you are doing. It's called "emotional reasoning". You FEEL ugly, and so the 'evidence' of 'no good comments' becomes "I look like the elephant man". IT IS A NON SEQUITIR. It does NOT follow logically, but your depression makes it FEEL REAL and feel very DEPRESSING. Your depression makes you act sullen, you express no joy. You may not go out. You may avoid people. Now your sample set ( to use a scientific term) is even more polluted - you never go out to test that a more positive attitude may make people more receptive to you. You find it hard to BE positive in the first place. But the filter of depression tells you 'this is proof you are ugly'. With the cookies your buddy could have done a test - ASKED YOU. He could have given them to other more expressive people to see what their reaction was. He could have tried a different recipe. He could have decided to cook something else or make them a little jazzier. But instead he reasoned he was a failure and GAVE UP. Your THOUGHTS aboout an event drive your FEELINGS, and then ultimately drive your BEHAVIOURS. Then the whole circle starts again.

Dont believe me that thoughts can drive feelings? What makes you think that the thoughts and images that flash through your mind about your flaws are any different to an erotic fantasy, or recalling a fight scene from a movie? Try it. Imagine watching Jean Claude Van Damme kicking Sylvester Stallone on the head, over and over again. See that leg connecting with the jaw, the blood spattering ... Whack. Cruch. Mu Fu!! Can you feel your jaw clenching? Your stomach tightening? Now picture Elle MacPherson (or favoured amorous persona) smiling and lying seductvely on a bed, whispering "phh Thom, come here Thommykins ... Feel the change? (dont share it  ) This is eaxctly what you do with negative thoughtds and images about yourself. You may see flashes of disapproving faces. You may hear snippets of dialogue from earlier in life, or even in the day. These thoughts and images tell you a story ... "I am ugly. I am unloved. I do not deserve happiness. I am worthless".

So how else does this manifest in depression and SA? Well, it twists your experiences. It defies logic and instead makes events nightmarish. It changes your thoughts about each event. Not getting positive reactions is NOT the *same* as 'being ugly'. If you have an unhappy, anxious face on you most of the time (your BEHAVIOURS) as a result of believing you are ugly and worthless (your THOUGHTS)- thats what you will radiate. People wont try to bring you out - they will just go "woah - what a grump". You cannot prove that "no good feeback = I am ugly". You can only ASSUME based on your feelings and negative past experience. As any scientist will tell you, "to ASSUME makes and *** of U and ME" (a little phrase we learned at school physics). If this happened in a science paper, and say the scientist threw out all the evidence that disporoved their theory, they would be fired. They would practicing BAD LOGIC and bad science. They like you are MISSING VITAL DATA by using a 'confirmational bias' - a filter which you use to satisfy your theory that "I am ugly > i am worthless > I will be alone and unhappy".

_*Whats the missing data?*_

People are attracted to the VIBE you put across just as much as looks. A handome hunk might get initial attention, yes - but if he is miserable, withdrawn and sullen, people will soon leave. Magazine good look ARE an advantage at first, yes. Insisting on attacking yourself for not meeting this ideal will NEVER change how you look - but it will change how you come across. How you treat others. People are less attracted to depressed people. If you are not a magazine hunk, then yes you will have to work hadrer to get attention and love. This is a complex enough job WITHOUT PUNISHING YOURSELF all the time for your LOOKS.

Start to treat your depression, TRY to stop focusing on your looks just for now, and I guarantee you will see changes like you cannot imagine. It may take time, but it will happen. Get that therapy moving, if you must take some meds too. Conduct tests to see what happens when you refuse to insult yourself in this way and judge yourself in an inhuman manner - reducing yourself to your component parts. Your motivation to socialise and to put yourself across in a more positive way will start to add to your confidence and your ability to make other attracted to you for the sense of joy that you radiate - something more lasting and more valuable - to everyone - than simple looks alone. Start to piece together evidence that shows you ARE likeable and that LOOKS are not the final say in the cosmic dance of earth bound happiness.

The world doesnt owe you, or anyone, happiness - no matter how bad you feel. You must pull yourself up and then give something back to the world before it will sit up and notice you. Its the law of RECIPROCITY. This something you can give is connection, honesty and happiness, validation and enlightenment. THEN PEOPLE come to YOU. Not all - but SOME. Sorry to come off strong but all this stuff WORKS. What do you think of my looks? Do you think I ever had problems with the way I felt about my face? In fact up until recently I HATED myself and looked at myself in the same way as you do yourself. I got no attention and no 'positive feedback'. I felt ugly inside and out. Now that I am feeling better INSIDE, I am getting more attention outside - but nothing has changed on my face or my body. Only the way I FEEL.

Stop arguing yourself into unhappiness dude - seek out that therapy!

Ross

PS PLEASE read this whole thing through. _Please do not just quote, out of context, the parts you feel able to neatly refute and presnt them as a reason to belive you are the most repulsive man on the planet - you may 'win' but your only prize is to remain in a pit of unhappiness._ Let this sink in and let it permeate your thoughts. This is your life we're on about here dude!


----------



## krasiegirl

You guys are soo mean to yourselves. But yeah I do feel very unattractive compared to others. Not stylish or whatever. I used to feel I looked good (atleast on the outside) but its like I got a wake up call and found out that I wasn't and that everyone else thought that I wasn't hot either. I feel like I thought I was so good looking when really I'm not to others. I even got this thought in my head when I think that I'm hot, that I am not . Like I'm delusional or something. I guess Hot to me means good looking on the outside but it also comes from the inside. Like having confidence in youself and who you are. Some people to me look very plain an unattractive but they seem to carry themselves well. Like they take care of themselves and have inner confidence which sorta comes through as attractiveness on the outside as well. 

I think real beauty comes from within. But I feel ugly both inside and outside :cry


----------



## Anachiel

NO I think I scrub up OK :lol


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

Anachiel said:


> NO I think I scrub up OK :lol


Oo.

We all look forward to the pictures


----------



## miruna

Hey, yeah_yeah_yeah, I really liked your post. I do, totally agree, at a rational level. But how come I still feel differently? I want to change the way I think, but I just cannot. Like you said, I take all lack of feeedback negatively and I even disregard all positive feedback. I just think that when people tell me that I am pretty just feel sorry for me or worse, are being ironic. I try to gather my positive thinking and then I go out and the smallest thing--like a weird look pushes me back where I started and I just want to go home, and not be seen...


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

Because CBT is not 'positive thinking'. First you must see it rationally - which you just have - and then you must very carefully and precisely set up a series of tests, behavioural experiments that FORCE you to act within the framework of a new belief. You must be educated as to how SA works and keeps itself going and incorporate those lessons (saftey behaviours, self consciousness, anticipatory anxiety, post event rumination and external focus) Then you come back, run it through the cognitive process again, they go out and test AGAIN. It takes time and repetition before the GUT gets it - but if the mind is half way there then so are you.

Unfortunately I cannot tell you how to do that on a message board - thats why there are entire books on this stuff and therapists to talk to, which I am constantly posting about. I could 'wing it' and tell you to try some stuff, but you'd be bitterly disapoointed. All I'm here to do is to try to show you the POTENTIAL. No one on a message board is going to cure you - I'm sorry if thats a let down ... :stu


----------



## ThomP

Ross,

Thanks for the lengthy explanation. A very good post, and the cookie example hits the nail on the head, I'd say...

No, I haven't come far in CBT yet. I had myself put on the waiting lists for therapists in my town, but it's usually a 3 to 4 months waiting period :|

Like Miruna, I can relate to all that on a rational level. The problem really is the thinking pattern. As I said before, these things have been hammered into my brain for several years ("You are ugly, fat, worthless"). 

- Thom (Trying to get his self image from :troll to  )


----------



## yeah_yeah_yeah

Yup, you are both seeing the 'first step' in CBT. The 'C' is for 'cognitive'. You get it at a intellectual level to PREPARE the way for the next stage - the 'B' or behavioural. This section must be attempted only after a lot of home cognitive work. Even though my example may have made sense, you need to practice applying it to yourself, and to you own life. By actually writing things down you change the way the information is stored and processed. I have attached my version of the Padesky mood diary, with the cognitive distortions attached, for you to have a go while you wait for therapy (or books - see end!!). Make sure you have Word in 'print layout' via the view menu so you can see the tips on how to fill in the boxes  REMEMBER - this is only ONE COG in the machine. Its just a taster but will form a regular part of using the approach. 
[attachment=0:3sd2l1eu]MASTER.doc[/attachment:3sd2l1eu]
Once you have furnished the place with the mood diaries, you dig deeper (still in cognitive) and uncover assumptions and rules. This is the next 'depth' of thought. You may go out and test some of these to chip away even more. Then you come back and see if you can go to the final depth - core beliefs. This takes some time to get to, but they are the foundation in which this element of your depression is built. Once you find it, you generate a new belief - a more rational, logical one that takes in the good and neutral as well as the more customary bad. To attack these, its 'B' time. Behavioural experiments put YOU in the world WITH your new belief so that you can override the mental filter and FORCE yourself to look for evidence that confirms the new belief. This is when the 'gut' comes.

Exhilarating is the word 

To start buy some books. It seems perhaps that your issue is more depression than SA, though its up to you what you start on. I don't know if there are any good German authors, but the UK's Gillian Butler wrote the AWESOME "overcoming social anxiety and shyness". The US's very own David Burns wrote 'Feeling Good - the new mood therapy' which is very cheap. It is a BIBLE of information for CBT, though the process is not as clear as Greenberger and Padesky's "Mind over mood". Really if you had these three (and maybe the Feeling Good Handbook as Noca always reminds me) then you will have an arsenal at your finger tips. Another good SA title is Ronald Rapees "Overcoming Shyness and Social Anxiety", which is an option if the Butler book is out of print in Germany. They are currently making more as I think SAS maxed them out!!

Ross


----------



## Atticus

From yeah_yeah_yeah:

"People are attracted to the VIBE you put across just as much as looks. A handome hunk might get initial attention, yes - but if he is miserable, withdrawn and sullen, people will soon leave. Magazine good look ARE an advantage at first, yes. Insisting on attacking yourself for not meeting this ideal will NEVER change how you look - but it will change how you come across. How you treat others. People are less attracted to depressed people. If you are not a magazine hunk, then yes you will have to work hadrer to get attention and love. This is a complex enough job WITHOUT PUNISHING YOURSELF all the time for your LOOKS. 

Start to treat your depression, TRY to stop focusing on your looks just for now, and I guarantee you will see changes like you cannot imagine. It may take time, but it will happen. Get that therapy moving, if you must take some meds too. Conduct tests to see what happens when you refuse to insult yourself in this way and judge yourself in an inhuman manner - reducing yourself to your component parts. Your motivation to socialise and to put yourself across in a more positive way will start to add to your confidence and your ability to make other attracted to you for the sense of joy that you radiate - something more lasting and more valuable - to everyone - than simple looks alone. Start to piece together evidence that shows you ARE likeable and that LOOKS are not the final say in the cosmic dance of earth bound happiness.

The world doesnt owe you, or anyone, happiness - no matter how bad you feel. You must pull yourself up and then give something back to the world before it will sit up and notice you. Its the law of RECIPROCITY. This something you can give is connection, honesty and happiness, validation and enlightenment. THEN PEOPLE come to YOU. Not all - but SOME. Sorry to come off strong but all this stuff WORKS. What do you think of my looks? Do you think I ever had problems with the way I felt about my face? In fact up until recently I HATED myself and looked at myself in the same way as you do yourself. I got no attention and no ‘positive feedback’. I felt ugly inside and out. Now that I am feeling better INSIDE, I am getting more attention outside – but nothing has changed on my face or my body. Only the way I FEEL.

Stop arguing yourself into unhappiness dude – seek out that therapy!"

The passage above is really well done, Ross. Those words are true in the fuller sense that goes a bit beyond facts and logic. You have a knack for giving realistic, usable advice.

On a personal note, thanks for the tip on "Reinventing Your Life" (Young and Klosko). I've read it and I'm working through it slowly now.


----------



## ardrum

Awesome, Atticus! I'm reading that book as well (also very slowly progressing, as it is the kind of book that I read a few pages, and then maybe deeply explore my thoughts and write things down, etc). 

I've been wondering if there are others using it.


----------



## gozinsky

I've always been told I was good looking, but it doesn't seem to have any positive affect on my life. I think it's because it's really how you see yourself that matters. No matter how many people tell me I'm good-looking, I don't think I ever saw myself as someone who could posess positive qualities. I can know that people think it, but it seems impossible for me to really see myself that way. I usually feel like some giant turd that no one should look at at all. I guess that's how bad my self esteem is.


----------



## ThomP

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> To start buy some books. It seems perhaps that your issue is more depression than SA, though its up to you what you start on.


Well, I'm not really depressed. Just afraid of others :|
Luckily, I had a "revelation" not too long ago about the core of my problems, and the ugliness is part of the self-image that is causing it.



> Another good SA title is Ronald Rapees "Overcoming Shyness and Social Anxiety", which is an option if the Butler book is out of print in Germany.


Hehe, I was lucky and got the last available copy of Rapees book on amazon.de ... Reading it right now (Actually finished it first time and reading it the second time, this time "working" with it rather than just reading).

I'll check out the others too... thanks for the pointer

- Thom


----------



## Atticus

ardrum said:


> Awesome, Atticus! I'm reading that book as well (also very slowly progressing, as it is the kind of book that I read a few pages, and then maybe deeply explore my thoughts and write things down, etc).
> 
> I've been wondering if there are others using it.


Glad you're getting something out of it too, ardrum. I think lifetraps (schema) explain why I can get so stuck in maladaptive patterns, even when I see them and can think about them rationally. I've also discovered how much of a sense of "entitlement" I have. That's been a little humbling :lol


----------



## Ken_Noddy

yeah_yeah_yeah said:


> Gillian Butler "overcoming social anxiety and shyness".


Ross, just wanted to thank you for suggesting this book, I've now purchased a copy from Amazon and can't wait to get stuck into it.

Has anyone heard of "overcoming low self-esteem" by Melanie Fennell? 
I'm about half way through it and was just wondering what anyone thought of it?


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

I think I'm so ugly, but I've chosen to accept it. I'm about a 1 on a scale of 1-10.


----------



## hellothere19

ya im really ugly, theres no way anyone has ever found me attractive


----------



## Peace99

I've been told I am good looking. I don't think I am ugly.


----------



## ardrum

3/10


----------



## kiss

No, I am not ugly. I've been told the opposite quite a lot. Although I often feel I am hideous in my darker moods.


----------



## southward

No, I think I am unattractive.


----------



## juice

No, I get told I'm good looking often enough, too bad SA trumps everything so it's meaningless.


----------



## lonelysoul1980

I thought I was ugly for a very long time....although no one ever referred to me as such. But I did endure a lot of racial taunting/abuse as a child.

These days, I think I'm above average...

For some reason, I've always thought "how I look" is the number one reason I've always had trouble making friends...that beautiful looking people make friends more easily...

But now I realize it's been my lack of confidence, super sensitivity and self-consciousness


----------



## Pure Maniak

i think im ugly as **** look at myspace

http://www.myspace.com/puremaniak


----------



## nothing to fear

i get compliments occaisonally. a guy at work said i look good yesterday. this is a shocking one, but my brother's friend said i was beautiful after only ever seeing me first thing in the morning while still in pj's with no make-up.

even though my appearance has improve lately, i still think i'm pretty ugly and i have no idea why i get compliments and looks. i don't think i'll ever be satisfied with my appearance.


----------



## omgnoudidnt

I think if I lost about 60 pounds I would be attractive.


----------



## Eilicea

I think I'm ugly about 50% of the time, but I do make an effort to dress in a way that makes me feel good about myself, so I feel a lot less ugly than I did, say, this time last year. Also I feel a lot less ugly now that guys have actually started to flirt with me.

Also one of my friends just told me:

[friend's SN]: I mean
I've had chats with guys
about how many people would **** you
which is many

LOL...okay....


----------



## Drella

No, I'm gorgeous.


----------



## dax

Yep. No doubt about it.


----------



## johnson8681

No I don't think im ugly, but I do think the negative thoughts I have about myself tend to distort my self image, that is what I think is ugly because I made it up and it's not the real me.


----------



## Mr. Orange

Yes.


----------



## ANCIENT

yes


----------



## KILL__JOY

*I have my days.*


----------



## flawless

No.i ant no model but im not ugly


----------



## EricBarnes

To some people I might be.... but to me, I'm gorgeous baby!


----------



## emptybottle

My face is more featureless than ugly. I think I'm marginally attractive when I fix myself up, and I carry myself with more confidence when I feel I look good. But I never get compliments or looks or any sign of anyone being attracted to me, anyway.

In comparison to my siblings, though, I'm definitely ugly. I don't know how I could be related to them. My sisters are strikingly pretty and thin, and it feels so cruelly sh#tty watching them get compliments and stares and get approached by good-looking guys when I'm out with them, while I feel like a leper.


----------



## crossfadex

I don't think I'm ugly (I actually get quite a bit of compliments), but I still always wonder what people are thinking and if people are just like staring at me.
If I actually KNEW I was ugly, my SA would be worse for sure

basically, I got my dads looks..but also his SA. Great. :con


----------



## Tony99

I'm not sure. I've always thought I am maybe somewhat attractive in the face and I have been going to the gym for 3 years now and have put on a lot of muscle compared to my former boney self (also helped confidence, and the exercise/exhaustion cures my SA for, oh, roughly 20minutes afterwards)

But I don't seem to get any attention from females though, which makes me feel ugly. I get compliments from my relatives and family friends but they aren't the ones I am trying to attract ya know? 

I think I won't beleive that I am not ugly until an actual young pretty girl told me I was good looking, or I started to get attention from females, or I get a girlfriend which would probably make me not even care or think about it either way.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

yes


----------



## shyboyy

i think i'm decent i guess


----------



## Mr. Orange

Tony99 said:


> I'm not sure. I've always thought I am maybe somewhat attractive in the face and I have been going to the gym for 3 years now and have put on a lot of muscle compared to my former boney self (also helped confidence, and the exercise/exhaustion cures my SA for, oh, roughly 20minutes afterwards)
> 
> But I don't seem to get any attention from females though, which makes me feel ugly. I get compliments from my relatives and family friends but they aren't the ones I am trying to attract ya know?
> 
> I think I won't beleive that I am not ugly until an actual young pretty girl told me I was good looking, or I started to get attention from females, or I get a girlfriend which would probably make me not even care or think about it either way.


More or less, that sums it up for me.


----------



## Mr. Orange

crossfadex said:


> basically, I got my dads looks..but also his SA. Great. :con


No Luke...I am your father.


----------



## Sclorch

I used to be really good looking, now Im about 20 pounds over weight and have scars all over my body now because of picking at my skin and a big one when I fainted and hit my forehead (all due to meth)


----------



## eject

I've been on both sides of the fence - having been called both ugly and good looking. 
One thing I have noticed (and it's paranoid, but I've been paying attention) is that people often touch their face when they walk past. I looked it up and apparently face touching is a physical reaction to negative judgement. It's just a negative affirmation I have been pretty vigilant about as of late.


----------



## ardrum

eject said:


> I've been on both sides of the fence - having been called both ugly and good looking.
> One thing I have noticed (and it's paranoid, but I've been paying attention) is that people often touch their face when they walk past. I looked it up and apparently face touching is a physical reaction to negative judgement. It's just a negative affirmation I have been pretty vigilant about as of late.


Hmm... Do you have access to a source for that information?


----------



## ShyFX

eject said:


> I've been on both sides of the fence - having been called both ugly and good looking.


Same here. I have no idea anymore. Some woman think I'm attractive, others think I'm hideous.


----------



## delphiki

tinselhair said:


> Sometimes when I look in the mirror I think I look kind of cute :yes , even sexy :yay , and then other times when I look in the mirror I am appallingly disgusted with my looks and feel ugly


I kinda agree with this, lol. Some days I really think I look quite nice and others I feel I'm unattractive. When the latter is true it definitely brings me down.


----------



## TheGecko

Yes, I have been told many times. Some ways were more painful than others, but having someone point at my face and laugh is probably the worst so far.


----------



## forever_dreamer

Yes I think I'm hideous lol. There are days however where I do feel beautiful and I cherish those days that I do feel beautiful.


----------



## shelovescliche

Most of the time, yes. I have an odd day every now and then where I think I'm _okay_ looking, but most of the time, I hate how I look.


----------



## Argamemnon

Yes


----------



## NutterButter

If I blur my vision by crossing my eyes and in dim light, I think I look ok. In pics and videos, which don't lie, I think I'm grotesque.


----------



## liarsclub

I know I'm looking good..


----------



## emandem

Not really. I used to, I actually was quite hated on this site's old chat (way back) for whining about my appearance all the time. I got over this, even though I'm not your typical Camilla Belle or Charlize Theron looking girl  . I wouldn't want to be one either. I cherish what I have and don't whine just because I'm not perfect looking. I love myself the way I am. It could be a lot worse and I can actually look pretty decent on photos.
Like *shelovescliche*, who seems pretty damn good-looking, whats there to hate? It seems like you can't admit it that you're good-looking, but try saying it to yourself and don't think you'd be bashed for thinking of yourself as beautiful. 
I think a lot of you also seem to exaggerate what you've been told by other people. I know how it feels and you need to get over that bitter feeling. I don't know (AND i live around people who are actually very criticizing and mean) anyone who has actually told someone direct in the face, that he/she is ugly (exception being some drunken nuts who don't know what they're sayin). 
From what I've seen, people on this forum are average or above average looking people. I have yet to see an ugly face and I mean it. Either you're all from the same country, where the majority of people are just soooo very mean or you're overexaggerating. I tend to believe its the first


----------



## TheGecko

There are ugly people on this forum (yes I am one of them) but no-one will ever admit it (apart from about themselves). People in the real world aren't as nice.


----------



## Snickersnack

Yeah, of course I am, and I have plenty of proof, unlike many people. I have tons of negative physical features-at least a paragraph's worth. I've never recieved a physical complement, other than from older relatives, and most likely never will. When people make little comments about my appearance, I usually tell them my mother ate paint chips while she was pregnant with me. It explains everything, really. 

That's not why I'm such a wreck, of course. If I were average looking or above, I'd just have something else to think about and make myself miserable.


----------



## chris87

I do think that I'm ugly. I've never had anyone compliment me on looks, except for maybe my immediate family. Even though I'm not "attractive," I still try to maintain a nice appearance.


----------



## ANCIENT

............


----------



## Aloysius

i don't think i'm ugly, i know i am.


----------



## Cured

I think I am average. I like how I look. I look goofy.


----------



## eject

I'll try to find the source sometime, ardrum; it was printed as part of some academic study on non-verbal interaction. 

The only time I've been called ugly was a few month ago at school. Some guy (young college kid, obviously with friends) started harassing me out of his car window as I was riding home on my bicycle - alone at night. Even though it was dark out and I had my hood up, he still managed to film me on his camera phone and tell me that he was going to put me on "world's ugliest people". It hurt considering I had never been so blatantly bullied in all my teen years, and now at 24?


----------



## pita

I know I'm ugly. People have told me my whole life that I'm basically brutal. It's unfair that my sisters got to look like my mom and I got to look like my dad. No offense to him; it's just that he is a man and I am not. I think my body is okay/good, but my face and my hair are bloody awful.


----------



## Cornish_Guilt

I used to. All the comments didnt help either. However this last year ive kinda changed my appearance, and had some nice comments. I think Its helped me develop a more positive body image, and now, even though I know im not the most attractive person, I know im not ugly.


----------



## Drella

pita said:


> I got to look like my dad.


I look exactly like my dad, which is truly unfortunate. My dad looks a bit like John Wayne Gacy, so I have the esteemed honor of sharing that aesthetic. Just picture a thinner Gacy with a bulbous head and more grease paint.


----------



## shyguydan

I use to think I was HOT stuff, but that was a worthless because I know I am not, I consider myself average which is fine with me.... it is what counts on the inside what matters


----------



## ~AJ~

so am i the only one who think Im daaaamn good lookin?

it doesnt help me with my social anxiety at all though!


----------



## Sabreth

I think I would be fairly attractive if I put on a few (30) pounds. I have been been called everything from cute to handsome by people outside of my family, but I've never had much luck with females when it actually counts.


----------



## BeautifulSorta

~AJ~ said:


> so am i the only one who think Im daaaamn good lookin?
> 
> it doesnt help me with my social anxiety at all though!


I use to think I look good too, most of the times.
But, then there are times when I think I look like crap.


----------



## Hoppipolla

Eh, I think I'm normal. Your average girl that doesn't get any attention but that's not horrid looking either. Physically boring, I guess. :s


----------



## trancediva88

_absolutely!_


----------



## Kanashi

NO
Sry that was 4 my self-esteem...


----------



## Madmonkeypoo

No, I don't think I'm ugly. I think that I'm so fat that people don't care to see the beautiful qualities I do have, inside and out. Their loss.


----------



## ardrum

My attractiveness is like that of an inanimate object... like a crate or shoebox.


----------



## Snickersnack

ardrum said:


> My attractiveness is like that of an inanimate object... like a crate or shoebox.


What condition is the shoebox we're talking about in? I'm more like a damp, moldy shoebox that had a litter of raccoons birthed in it, then was run over by a pickle truck.


----------



## Cured

I let other people make that decision.


----------



## VerbalHologram

me= :troll


----------



## estelle85

..well i sure feel friggin ugly,so i bet i am..but then i dont care.~


----------



## chibimarukochan

I just feel that I have nothing to make up for the way I look. If I did I wouldn't feel as bad about being unattractive.


----------



## Silence

Only when I don't wear makeup. >>


----------



## ninka

I hate my hair but am afraid to change my hairstyle, because people would (surely) notice and comment about it.

Now, looking at what I've just written, I realized just how silly is it :roll


----------



## DSPFrat

I don't like my nose that much, but I think I'm dead sexy. lol...my social skills just suck.


----------



## BrainError

Not think. Know.


----------



## tlgibson97

Yup, I'm a fugly dude. If I wasn't such a nice guy then I dont know how things would be.


----------



## TreeFrog

I am attractive and sometimes I know it and carry myself as such. 

Other times, like most women, I can feel like the ugliest thing alive.


----------



## Spettro

I feel ugly most of the time, not sure if I truly am, or i'm just being paranoid


----------



## markx

Well I'd say I was about a 2 on a good day, but my picture on POF was rated as a 6. So, not child-scaring ugly but not so attractive that anyone would want to contact me.


----------



## superhappyfunchica

i'm not ugly, but i do hate my teeth!! so this makes me not want to smile very much. if i liked my teeth, i think i'd be so much more outgoing!


----------



## lcplherrera

I do think I'm Ugly but people repeately tell me I'm not

I can't stand mirrors, they drive me crazy


----------



## belfort

ehh you could be a model but what matters most is the thoughts/feelings you have going on INSIDE...i know plenty of good looking people that suffer every day because of how they feel...looks might help in some of your cases but i dont think they would be the 'cure all' you are looking for...


----------



## christ~in~me

I dont think I'm ugly,I have flaws like everyone else but i think i'm pretty overall.


----------



## hiimnotcool

I'll be honest and say I know I'm good looking. I wonder how many people here are saying they're ugly just because they're being modest?


----------



## nothing to fear

my feelings about my appearance change constantly. they are probably at their best now, i.e. i can look in the mirror without cringing horribly. now it's just mild dislike but i still despise seeing pictures of me and find it hard to believe that others find me attractive.


----------



## alex999

I really have no idea if I'm ugly or not. Nobody has ever told me so. But I don't think I'm terrible looking. Just average. But overall I'm happy with the way I look. 

But based on seeing all the people in the pictures forum, many, many of you are very attractive. In fact I have yet to see any unnatractive person in that thread and I have been here since 2005. I had no idea so many attractive people had social anxiety. 

If someone doesn't like the way you look that's their problem. They must be insecure themselves.


----------



## dreamer222

Yeah, I do. It's hard to think you're attractive when guys never go out of their way to talk to you.


----------



## nothing to fear

(from aug 2007)


nothing to fear said:


> yes, i think i am the most unattractive person i've ever seen. i'm constantly self-consious because of that, some days i can deal with it but other days i can't even leave the house, and i feel so ****ing hopeless and like life isn't worth living because of how i look. :sigh





nothing to fear said:


> not exactly... i would still have SA, depression, etc.. but i still think my life would be completely different and easier if i was attractive, and i would at least have hope and something to hang on to.


oh how things have changed. it's a bit funny to me that i genuinely believed it was one of the main and most important problems in my life and that it was my ugliness that was holding me back more than any other aspects of myself. especially when it was to the point where i thought that life was not worth living because of my appearance. silly 12-18-year-old me. glad i'm past that.


----------



## tutliputli

I'm incredibly neurotic when it comes to my looks. Sometimes, I feel quite pretty. Other times, I feel average. And on a bad day, I feel so ugly I can't leave the house. Thankfully I haven't had a bad day in quite a while, but I never know when I might wake up feeling like that.


----------



## Fuzzy Logic

My opinion of my appearance fluxuates from "quite handsome" to "grotesque freak" depending on my general mood at the time. Right now it's hovering somewhere in the middle.


----------



## epril

lostwitness said:


> I've seen some people say that they're ugly here -- and when I see their picture they look sooo hot.


True! Us REALLY ugly people will never post our pics because of this! I have moments I think I am pretty. I am young looking for my age. And when I'm in good lighting, I am pretty! Most of the time I feel ugly and think I truly am ugly.


----------



## nothing to fear

epril said:


> *True! Us REALLY ugly people will never post our pics because of this! *I have moments I think I am pretty. I am young looking for my age. And when I'm in good lighting, I am pretty! Most of the time I feel ugly and think I truly am ugly.


haha, yea pretty much. well, i'd apply it to myself at least. the few pictures i've posted were the "best" shots out of more than a hundred taken of me.

on the other hand i've met so many people who i find very beautiful but who consider themselves unattractive and it always seems very shocking and a bit sad to me.

but on this site and others i've met elsewhere whenever people say they are ugly and they almost never are. every is always so much more harsh on themselves than they deserve to be.


----------



## bobthebuilder

lol depends on the mirror. At home, in the full body mirror and medicine cabinet mirror, i think i look pretty darn good. But if say i go by a really big mirror (bathroom in a department store, ones at college along hallway walls) i think i look terribly scrawny, definately a weird side profile, and overall unattractive. i guess thats to say, i think i look better the closer i see myself.

Also, i look terrible in pictures. absolutely terrible.


----------



## low

It's sad alot of people responding here think they are ugly. I'm sure you aren't =)

I actually consider myself 'good looking' but hate myself in other ways. I would definately be bold enough to say people with SA most of the time have more forms of self hate or low self esteem than _normal_ people.


----------



## Georgina 22

No, I don't think I am ugly. There are prettier girls out there than me. But to me, I am pretty and when I wear make up and my hair is nice, I feel hot


----------



## Quibble

dreamer222 said:


> Sometimes, I guess. It's hard to think you're attractive when guys never go out of their way to talk to you.


Honestly, i think most guys rarely hit on the vast majority of women they see that they are attracted to. We mostly just look, and if a guy is already in a relationship (and is a good guy), he'll go a bit out of his way to look away from a girl he notices as hot.


----------



## Georgina 22

No, i don't think I am ugly. There are prettier girls out there than me. But to me, I am pretty and when I wear make up and my hair is nice, I feel hot  I don't think I am ugly at all, I shouldn't take my looks for granted and say I am ugly when I ain't coz there are some people out there with horrible skin problems and growths, I should...we all should really...if we don't suffer from horrible growths or something, be blessed with our looks


----------



## nightrain

I used to think I looked ugly, and I still do sometimes. I'm mostly okay with how I look though.


----------



## sansd

I think I look ugly in the vast majority of pictures taken of me, and am probably not attractive to most people I encounter, but also that I can potentially look kind of pretty under certain conditions. I'm even almost willing to believe people weren't lying with some of the recent positive comments I've received :b.

How ugly I feel depends a lot on how my skin is doing, which lately has been pretty awfully, mostly because I can't leave it alone.


----------



## Quibble

DSPFrat said:


> I don't like my nose that much, but I think I'm dead sexy. lol...my social skills just suck.


lol i'm the same way. I think I'm hot, can turn a few heads if i wear the right thing, but don't know what to say :\


----------



## Girl_Loner

I think you look great nighttrain :yes

And myself, all depends on the day. Most of the time I do.


----------



## Daxter

I hate how skinny my arms are, but I have a bit of a belly. My legs are also... kind of messed up and I walk kind of weird. My back is not straight either.

I also despise my hair and don't think I've had a good haircut since... er... the day I was born. I'm afraid to go to the barbershop because they're going to ruin it again and I'll walk out completely pissed.

If I got into shape and got a good haircut I think I'd look okay. I wished I looked older and was taller, though...


----------



## Lithium4

Meh, I don't think I care about how I look as much as I used to. I'd much rather work on my personality/social skills than worry about things I can't change. I'd be fine with being average looking, but a good person.


----------



## Fenren

Yes I do think I'm ugly and so do other people.


----------



## Canadian Brotha

I usually think I'm an average looking guy with some days here & there I think look particularly good. That said it has little barring on my self esteem 95% of the time


----------



## Princesspoopla

umm ya, I think I'm ugly :| thats why I dont like looking in the mirror especially in public areas. :afr I've never thought I was pretty or anything like that cause nobody has ever said that kinda stuffs to me so I always feel like there are alot of people out there who are wayy better looking. 
Thinking stuff like that holds me back from being myself with others and just hating being me.


----------



## Peter Attis

Oh, absolutely. I'm ****ing hideous.



chibimarukochan said:


> I just feel that I have nothing to make up for the way I look. If I did I wouldn't feel as bad about being unattractive.


I feel the same way. I can't even say, "Well at least I have a good personality"... because I really don't. :sigh


----------



## viva

I don't think I'm ugly, in fact sometimes I quite like my looks, but my confidence is quite fragile... by that I mean I'll be feeling happy with myself but then I'll walk into a clothes shop and immediately lose all of that as I'll start comparing myself to everyone or get worried they'll think I look weird or my clothes are horrible.


----------



## Emptyheart

I think my personality and lack of confidence are ugly!


----------



## Lumiere

Yes I do and I think this negative attitude to my looks makes me look even worse, but I find it impossible not to look at myself and think the worst, so it's a lose-lose situation.


----------



## N3XT2NON3

not ugly but not the most attractive


----------



## Pialicious88

nightrain said:


> I used to think I looked ugly, and I still do sometimes. I'm mostly okay with how I look though.


u look cute to me :blush


----------



## Annie K

Yes, I feel quite ugly and disgusting most of the time, and that definitely holds me back. I always worry that people are thinking, "Wow, look at that freakishly tall/fat/ugly girl" when they look at me.


----------



## JFmtl

Well, I was not gifted by the nature in terms of physical beauty :|


----------



## VIncymon

I've been told before that I'm a good looking guy. More than once.

This would be reason for me to feel conceited ... if I actually had some success dating.

There is no use being cute, if women treat you like a cute ..*puppy*.


----------



## strawberryjulius

No, I don't think I'm ugly. I may be unattractive to some, but there are plenty of people that think I'm beautiful. :yes


----------



## Toad Licker

Nope not ugly, I'm not bad looking at all even if I do say so myself.


----------



## Witan

I'd say I'm average.


----------



## zomgz

having nice clothes and hair helps... without those i feel very ugly =[

also, my jaw has been broken so now my lower lip sits slightly to the side and i think it looks really awful!! i get really scared that people are noticing it


----------



## engima

ugly personality, I literally carry an angry distrusting glare to everyone I meet regardless of who they are. I don't really hear any comments about my physical self.


----------



## april showers

Depends on the day, sometimes I feel that I'm really attractive and other times I think I'm absolutely ugly. Like I said in another thread, even though I dress no different from everyone else and pay attention to my hair and makeup, alot of times I unconciously feel as if my socialy awkward weirdness is reflected in my looks. As if people can look at me and tell that I'm a weird, shy, loner with hardly any friends or social life.


----------



## Crunchie

yes, i think i'm ugly..


----------



## TheDaffodil

nightrain said:


> I used to think I looked ugly, and I still do sometimes. I'm mostly okay with how I look though.


Really!? You're ******* gorgeous! You should be completely OK with how you look. :b

Um...sometimes I think I am and sometimes I think I'm not. There are things I like about myself physically, things I wouldn't trade for the world.


----------



## TheDaffodil

^ Well in your avatar you look very cute so even if you don't feel like it now, you are - not ugly.


----------



## Traci

Depends on my mood lol.


----------



## hopelesslyshy

Extremely.


----------



## XxArmyofOnexX

I feel average at best and "hideous enough to warrant a lockup in a high security location for further study". But usually it's not, it's the expression on my face. I always think people look at me and think I'm some strange teenager that never smiles, and I either look sad, or as if I'm about to punch someone. Even my tone I would say gives off some despair. I suppose I'm bad at 'filtering' my expression, and it usually reflects what I'm feeling or thinking about at the time.

My mother is exceptionally good at giving false facial expressions, I really hate that fact. 
Probably one of the reasons I don't like people who are fake (ie act nice around you, and then when you are gone, do a complete 180)


----------



## 718

no i'm not ugly...but would my sa be worse if i was? probably not


----------



## Efsee

I often feel ugly, inside and out. good enough for guys to have liked me, though I don't see what's to like. maybe people aren't as shallow as I imagine.


----------



## Iced Soul

Depends, I guess.
Everyone says I look pretty and everything, but most of time I don't see it. Whenever someone compliments me, even if I'm having one of those 'you look nice' days, I wonder if they need glasses or are half blind.


----------



## SlightlyJaded

I almost always feel like I'm the ugliest thing on the planet. I don't know if it's from the SA or if it just stems from things kids at school used to say to me. People tell me I'm pretty sometimes now, but I either feel like they're just flat out lying because they feel sorry for me or they're trying to manipulate me because they want something. Every once in a while, I'll look in my bedroom mirror and have a brief moment where I think I look okay, but as soon as I step out of my house, I feel repulsive all over again.


----------



## SixFigures

SlightlyJaded said:


> I almost always feel like I'm the ugliest thing on the planet. I don't know if it's from the SA or if it just stems from things my Dad and kids at school used to say to me Every once in a while, I'll look in my bedroom mirror and have a brief moment where I think I look pretty decent, but as soon as I step out of my house, I feel repulsive all over again.


You are no not ugly SlightlyJaded. SA and the things people have said about you in the past can all lead to lack of self confidence in the way you look and feel.


----------



## SlightlyJaded

flyingspatula said:


> kinda pathetic story but basically any self-esteem i had left in me was shot down in 7th grade at Worlds of Fun after some *****y little girl screamed at me and called me a freak of nature.  ya kinda sad that it still bothers me even 6 years later.


Had a similar thing happen to me in 8th grade. A guy I had a crush on basically yelled out that I looked like a rat in the middle of class one day for no apparent reason. So of course, my nickname was "ratface" for the next two years. Funny how that kind of stuff just imprints itself on your brain. I mean, I haven't even seen that guy in like seven years, but what he said is always rolling around in my head somewhere.


----------



## MrFrenz

I suppose I would say I'm average at best. I'm not great looking by any stretch, but I've been told I'm cute by a few women. Unfortunately, because it's so unexpected, I just end up stunned and don't have a follow-up except to ask if they're taking drugs or are drunk.

In my eyes I'm pretty much disfigured.


----------



## SlightlyJaded

flyingspatula said:


> wow, that really really sucks. what an ******* kid. and for TWO years?
> 
> i know what you mean though, its obvious neither are true but we just cant get it out of our head. >_<
> 
> i also recall as a child, everyone always said to me, "your sister turned out fine, so what happened with you?" even though i was only 5 or 6 at the time, it was said so many times it stuck.


Gah, why would anyone say something like that to a kid? That's so messed up.

I understand the sibling thing. My sister is nothing like me. She's pretty and outgoing and has never met as stranger in her life. She's five years older, and when I started going to her old school after she graduated, all the teachers expected me to be like her. For the first few months, all I heard was, "Are you sure you weren't adopted? You're nothing like your sister. She was so nice." It's like, how are you even supposed to respond to that, hehe.


----------



## SlightlyJaded

flyingspatula said:


> ah that really would be rough. my sister is also 5-6 years older than me and shes one of those perfect straight A people from k to 12, and then 2 colleges and the military and here I am now jobless and 20 years old barely making it through community college while she already had graduated from at least one college by my age. fortunately for me no one really expected ANYTHING of me lol so I never tried to and i just continued being the retard child i was haha. now i have 3 sisters, lucky me. 0_0


Hehe...that was my one consolation growing up. No one really expected much out of me, so while my sis was held to really high standards, I kind of flew under the radar and could do my own thing. I guess that's a little bit pathetic, but hey, I take what I can get


----------



## meh

I always thought I was. Guess I have really low confidence.
Whenever someone gives me a compliment I question why, or don't believe them.


----------



## miminka

LaRibbon said:


> Also, I don't know what it is, but even if I make myself look nice in front of the mirror, the minute I walk outside, it's like I transform into some grotesque creature. It's like I only feel like I look ok in my ''comfort zone'' at home or something.


:yes Same here. I don't dwell on it that much. I don't think I'm pretty or ugly.


----------



## AussiePea

Well considering I was teased about my appearance at school etc it has been drilled into me that I was nailed by the ugly stick on the way down. It's the centre of my SA as well and my feelings towards my appearance have not changed. sigh.


----------



## Judi

LaRibbon said:


> Also, I don't know what it is, but even if I make myself look nice in front of the mirror, the minute I walk outside, it's like I transform into some grotesque creature. It's like I only feel like I look ok in my ''comfort zone'' at home or something. And I still don't like to tie my hair up.


This is me too, I also don't tie my hair up... I have a weird shaped head and I'm always paranoid on how I look. Everytime I've tied my hair up myself in the past I would always get weird looks (whether it's because I never did it, or because it looked strange on me, I don't know) I don't know what it is with a stranger's glares but it shoots me down really quickly


----------



## Aurora

Yes, but only in the last 4 years, since I put on 30kgs and my afro pacific islander genes kicked in (and Im white by the way, get that gene from my mums islander side). I had no problems before I was 20. Now..
I hate my frizzy hair and I straighten it if I go out! 
I hate the acne scars on my face, that I have to cover with makeup if I step foot outside! Like many girls, I feel naked and exposed without foundation! 
I hate my legs, Ive never had nice legs, always been chunky even when I was thinner! (which didnt seem to bother me as much as they do now) I always wear pants now. Even in summer!
I hate my jelly belly and Im scared if I loose the the fat there after birth I will have alot of loose skin! The site of my belly makes me want to puke. Is there really a baby in there somewhere???
I hate my skin color, I tan easy in sunny climates, but here I just look pasty white...

Now half way pregnant and I dont have the 'baby bump' like I always imagined I would have and I would take pretty pregnancy pictures and show everyone how proud of my baby bump I was.. haha yeah right, I just look fatter, as my uterus expands it just pushes the fat out more, which Im finding hard to deal with. My body image has really taken a beating lately. Now Im being told to expect to put on another 20 - 30kgs being pregnant. I cannot take that! physically cannot take it either, Im already at risk of Gestational Diabetes (Diabetes while pregnant). So far Ive put on 4kgs. Which Im comfortable with as its prolly all extra blood and fluids. Im aiming to only put on 10kgs, but Im hearing many women have no control over how much they put on during pregnancy even with a healthy diet and exersise.  
Oh and why is it that when people know your pregnant they seem to think saying 'Ohh your looking huge!' is perfectly okay to say???
My partner says hes attracted to me and I dont think he understands why I hate my body so much. 
I used to love clothes shopping, now.. its torture!!! as nothing fits and I hate the bigger section! Its shameful! I dont want anyone who knew me before I was 20 to see me now! I know Ive been in denial for a couple of years. But why is it now that I really hate my body, that people start to mention that Ive put on weight? Argh!
So Im hoping, loosing weight after birth is not as hard as they say it is. 
Okaaay. Sorry long post. Just had to get it out somewhere.


----------



## IThinkIAmMe

I don't quite think I am hideous
but I do not believe I attractive either
...perhaps...normal(?) looking? that may be too much to hope for lol


----------



## Blackguy

I used to have this guy in class who would say in front of the whole classroom "Dog you ugly as [email protected]#*" like every other day. The girls in the class would go "awww no your not don't listen to him". The guys would laugh. The guy that would tell me that was the class clown and he makes jokes about everybody, so I don't know if he was serious or not. He must of been right I mean I wasn't getting any chicks.


----------



## knuckles17

i know im so ugly hate looking in the mirror and when i talk to people im afraid they are judging me based on how i look = /


----------



## TheDaffodil

IThinkIAmMe said:


> I don't quite think I am hideous
> but I do not believe I attractive either
> ...perhaps...normal(?) looking? that may be too much to hope for lol


You're beautiful! (Yes, I checked, haha, I'm being honest.)


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

nothing to fear said:


> haha, yea pretty much. well, i'd apply it to myself at least. the few pictures i've posted were the "best" shots out of more than a hundred taken of me.
> 
> on the other hand i've met so many people who i find very beautiful but who consider themselves unattractive and it always seems very shocking and a bit sad to me.
> 
> but on this site and others i've met elsewhere whenever people say they are ugly and they almost never are. every is always so much more harsh on themselves than they deserve to be.


Just as you are on yourself?

There are many different flaws I can point out about myself but I have learned (or am trying) to accept them as a part of my persona. I tend to find we are always harder on ourselves but the important thing to remember is that other people often find these perceived 'flaws' as what attracts them to you the most.


----------



## MayritaJudith

There are some things about my face that make me feel ugly and I compare myself a lot with other girls.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

I don't think I have unattractive features, but I'm ugly because I'm overweight now.  And because I don't have muscles.


----------



## jer

on a good day, I am ugly.
on a bad day, I am hideous.


----------



## EveryDayIsExactlyTheSame

Well. I kinda do.


----------



## Iced Soul

flyingspatula said:


> im feeling good today! if only my hair wasn't so long id prolly look alright.


I think your hair is awesome, but that's just me.


----------



## Ian231

Sometimes i look in the mirror and think "wow I'm good looking" other days i avoid mirrors.


----------



## starstruck09

Yes. I know I am. I cannot stomach my own reflection and I avoid having my picture taken at ALL costs. I have facebook & myspace and zero pics. Everyone keeps on asking me when am I going to add them and I always say "never, you know what I look like". It's really embarrassing. I've tried to get over this but I just can't.


----------



## Freiheit

I do think I'm hideous. I just hate looking in mirrors and I also hate it when people try to 'cheer me up' by saying I'm attractive or something because it makes me feel like they are doing it only out of pity and obviously they don't mean it. So it's better if people don't even say this kind of stuff to me.


----------



## Cancer

I don't think I am attractive but many people say I am a very cute and handsome guy. I dont know why I feel so pathetic. Most girls dont get even close to me. They always love to be friends to me. I dont talk much. Actually I talk to girls very unfraquently. You know how it feels. I cant resist this heart beating and stomach ache. No confidence, no happiness...

However I had 2 girls for one day. it would be truer to say that they got me ) I think Those were up to my luck )

Anyway but i am at the same point now. I dont see an attractive guy when i look at mirrors, just a lonely boy....


----------



## Chrysalii

yes.
I can't stand mirrors.


----------



## seanybhoy

Sometimes, we are our own worst critics though.


----------



## mooncake

Yes. Today I was kindly reminded that I'm "disgusting" too, by a lovely bunch of strangers whilst walking out of my uni halls. You'd think people would be a bit more mature and less obnoxious by the time they got to uni, but evidently they're not.


----------



## shynesshellasucks

I don't recall being called ugly. But I really do feel ugly. I'm fat; I have a massive head; I have a funny looking nose, and I have big ears. 

Being self-conscious of my big head, I feel really uncomfortable walking into class. Being called big head, from time to time, is as bad as being called ugly.


----------



## brianwarming

mooncake said:


> Yes. Today I was kindly reminded that I'm "disgusting" too, by a lovely bunch of strangers whilst walking out of my uni halls. You'd think people would be a bit more mature and less obnoxious by the time they got to uni, but evidently they're not.


I call that  "drive-by" bullying, and no, a**holes stay a**holes !!


----------



## PickleNose

lostwitness said:


> I've seen some people say that they're ugly here -- and when I see their picture they look sooo hot.


 Well, that is part of a disorder of some kind. When a person just believes they're ugly without any evidence and in spite of evidence to the contrary (people actually telling them they're attractive/flirting with them/etc).

And then there's people like me. I'm definitely ugly. I'm not as ugly as a person can be but I'm under no illusions one way or another. There is nothing attractive about me.


----------



## AussiePea

^^ I think this "disorder" is actually SA, just another way it pops its ugly head up in a lot of our lives. I know for one that my SA originated from a complete lack of self-esteem as a result of a poor image of myself and it just morphed its way from there.


----------



## quietgal

Yeah I hate the way I look, but I don't think about it all that much anymore. You are the way you are and you might as well make the best of it.


----------



## Dempsey

I'm not ugly I just look weird or funny sometimes depending on my posture or what I'm wearing.


----------



## Rixy

I firmly believe that I'm ugly, but...eh...I have friends and stuff. I guess it's not holding me back alot, I'm just self concious at the end of the day


----------



## FBH

No, I don't think I'm ugly. Now, am I attractive? I dunno, lol.


----------



## jeneep

I think I'm gorgeous. I get told it all the time even. But I still have times, especially around women, where I feel extremely insecure. Just one little comment can turn me from feeling confident to feeling like quasi modo.


----------



## zomgz

mooncake said:


> Yes. Today I was kindly reminded that I'm "disgusting" too, by a lovely bunch of strangers whilst walking out of my uni halls. You'd think people would be a bit more mature and less obnoxious by the time they got to uni, but evidently they're not.


well your not =P and don't listen those the immature meanies =]


----------



## PrincessQueenCupcake

I had to share this all, but I read a giant quote on a church billboard thingy. It said around these lines, if you think you are or you aren't, you're right.


----------



## Keith

Most of the time I'm confident in my looks, I definitely don't think I'm ugly. I have in the past though thought i was unattractive...


----------



## Fuzzy Logic

Yup, definitely, there is a picture on my profile page if you need proof.


----------



## compulsive dreamer

Sometimes I think I'm quite pretty.... but sometimes, i look in the mirror and think i'm as ugly as hell... so i don't know what i am actually
I sometimes look like a guy or i don't know, D: well anyway, i accept the way i am, because what can i do?? i mean, if i was really beautiful... i think i'd still have this shyness problems


----------



## thewall

I go through waves of thinking I'm completely hideous and other times I just block out what I think about my appearance. Even if I am not ugly, I'm still not really good looking and that kills me.


----------



## Fuzzy Logic

I take it that's not your actual photo in that avatar.


----------



## FBH

We definitely pick ourselves apart too much. Looking through here, I see quite a few not-ugly people talking like they're Brian Peppers.



Fuzzy Logic said:


> Yup, definitely, there is a picture on my profile page if you need proof.


I'm going to need more proof than that. I'm not gay, but you look perfectly normal to me.



thewall said:


> I go through waves of thinking I'm completely hideous and other times I just block out what I think about my appearance. Even if I am not ugly, I'm still not really good looking and that kills me.


I definitely think you're very pretty.


----------



## PrincessQueenCupcake

Fuzzy Logic said:


> I take it that's not your actual photo in that avatar.


:idea
dude don't be like that. I saw your pic in your profile page and you have no reason to think you are ugly either, but it's about self esteem not appearance that makes people feel so damn bad. Think about how amazing and powerful your brain is, of course it controls the way you feel about what you perceive of yourself a well as everything else that goes on in your body.


----------



## Tangent

Yes


----------



## mrbojangles

i think im decent looking in my own unique way, i get self conscious sometimes because i have never seen anyone who really looks like me. when people are trying to guess my race its all across the board, people have guessed jewish, italian, greek, slavic, etc, but never my true race lol.


----------



## Elad

I have days that I think I'm ok looking and days I feel extremely ugly but most of the time I feel like I'm not meeting some kind of magical standard that everyone else is, pretty much all my anxiety is about how I appear to other people. :|


----------



## PrincessQueenCupcake

Elad said:


> I have days that I think I'm ok looking and days I feel extremely ugly but most of the time I feel like I'm not meeting some kind of magical standard that everyone else is, pretty much all my anxiety is about how I appear to other people. :|


 wow, I'm really glad you said that, I can hugely relate. I think most of my life I would have been fine with my appearance, but we we never think we're good enough for everyone else do we?


----------



## Elad

PrincessQueenCupcake said:


> wow, I'm really glad you said that, I can hugely relate. I think most of my life I would have been fine with my appearance, but we we never think we're good enough for everyone else do we?


yeah, exactly:fall



whatsername75 said:


> That's essentially how I feel. I waste way too much of my time worrying about how other people perceive me.


Yeah, pretty much all the time whatever/whenever I'm doing something and I don't know how to change it :cry


----------



## supersoshychick

Well, i've been called ugly my whole life, even by little kids, so i just come to accept the fact that i am indeed a ugly person. Although, sometimes i feel okay-ish looking and that's when i pile tons of makeup on. I can't wait until i make enough money so i can get some plastic surgery done, i hate my body, i hate my face, and i hate my life.


----------



## lissa530

I have always felt I was UGLY :sigh.


----------



## Catching Fire

I feel I look pretty good but the way my skin is right now not feeling so great about my looks.


----------



## TimeisAllAround

I do think so most of the time. I have days where I think I'm alright looking.
I used to not care about what clothes I wore, thinking that my appearance was so bad that it didn't matter much. I put more effort into my style now and that has made me feel better. It also helps that I no longer wear glasses or have braces.


----------



## FakeFur

Yes, I do believe I'm ugly and always have. I'm fully aware of the fact that my face is not pretty, and my body is not appealing either. It does hold me back. I'm always scared to talk to guys I'm interested in, and this is because (besides my SA) I know I'm not beautiful, so they won't be attracted to me.


----------



## cyborg

Yes. I don't post my pics online anymore because I was tired of all the messages telling me how ugly I was.


----------



## Sierra83

Yeah... I have bad skin and I'm overweight. Doesn't help the self-esteem much.


----------



## Zombie Sheep

:yes

:troll

uke 

I'm a munter. Heck one bloke told me I was 'the ugliest person he'd ever seen in his life'. Cheers! Pleased to meet you too feller. 

Though I bet nobody here actually is ugly. I looked on the 'post a picture of yourself' thread and *everybody* was ridiculously good looking. I haven't seen a photo of everybody here of course but then, any photos I have seen are very attractive. 

But then, I don't care about my looks anyway. It's my social phobia-ridden personality that stops me forming relationships. Why worry about something I can't change? Worrying ain't gonna make me six inches taller or make my hair grow back (if anything it'll make it fall out even faster, or I'll be tearing it out in frustration).

Anybody who calls another human being ugly is ugly.


----------



## heyJude

I'm ok with my looks for the most part. I just hate seeing myself in photos though. I'm probably the most un-photogenic person out there! I have not taken a decent photo since 2006. :/


----------



## Fuzzy Logic

PrincessQueenCupcake said:


> :idea
> dude don't be like that. I saw your pic in your profile page and you have no reason to think you are ugly either, but it's about self esteem not appearance that makes people feel so damn bad. Think about how amazing and powerful your brain is, of course it controls the way you feel about what you perceive of yourself a well as everything else that goes on in your body.


Unfortunately it's other people's brains that decide whether you are good looking or not and you don't have much control over them. I've recieved enough criticism to know what their general sentiment is though...


----------



## Zombie Sheep

Fuzzy Logic said:


> Unfortunately it's other people's brains that decide whether you are good looking or not and you don't have much control over them. I've recieved enough criticism to know what their general sentiment is though...


Mate. I just looked. YOU ARE NOT UGLY. I mean, ffs, I figured you'd be a bit on the average-looking side at least but... GRRR! You're handsome damnit! This is a thread for ugly people! You're barred! :bat

Whoever called you ugly is hallucinating. If their brains are telling them you're ugly they need sectioned, their brains ain't working right. I fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. YOU didn't. :b


----------



## aw3se4dr5

I don't think I'm ugly. I know I'm ugly.


----------



## illlaymedown

Nope...I have a few physicalities I dislike about myself like constant struggle with acne since like 14 and I'm 23 and that I look younger than my age, but overall I am pretty imo. I have been called ugly before, but it was loser idiots that did so. I've gotten a lot of compliments too and I try to be objective since there's no true standard of beauty.....I think every person is attractive to someone whether they follow society's standards or not.


----------



## Pen_is_mightier

Yeah, I suppose I do. At least I tend to think I'm not much to look at. I was pretty nervous about posting in the picture thread a few days ago. But I figured I'd get it over with sooner rather than later.


----------



## STKinTHEmud

In photos, yes. In mirrors, no. Which sucks since it doesn't help my chances with online dating. My friends tell me, "but you're good looking..." and the dots say it all, I think (means I'm about average). But when I see myself in the mirror at the gym, I think, "Do I really look that good?" My friends that haven't seen me for awhile comment on how good I look now that I've gained a bit of muscle. So, if you think you don't look good, do some research on how to get the body you want online (places you can trust with experts that actually know what they're talking about), put yourself on a diet, and exercise.


----------



## nothing to fear

i have been feeling pretty ugly lately


----------



## Sugababie4

Fuzzy Logic said:


> Unfortunately it's other people's brains that decide whether you are good looking or not and you don't have much control over them. I've recieved enough criticism to know what their general sentiment is though...


And my brain says you're freakin' good-looking. So is mine defective? You do look a lot younger than 23 in that pic though...is it old?


----------



## Milk in My Tea

I'm somewhat pretty (I've been told?) on the outside, but I feel ugly on the inside, and I always feel my insides show through.


----------



## Zombie Sheep

polythene said:


> It drives me crazy when people who aren't ugly claim/think they are, especially because I'm objectively ugly: the list of things I'd need to change about myself in order to be moderately attractive is embarrassingly long. It's like... hey, if you're ugly, with your symmetrical, nicely proportioned face, what the hell am I? A swamp monster?
> 
> Seriously. I don't get it.
> 
> And yes, I am ugly.


You hit the nail on the head there about people who *think* they're ugly, that can get a bit annoying. I think the phrase is 'fishing for compliments'. But some handsome people do have body or self-esteem issues or BDD so I can understand it. Some people just feel ugly regardless of how they look, SA probably doesn't help with that.

But then unless somebody is actually clinically deformed I don't think it's worth worrying about, though it's easy for me to say that. My mate Dave is actually a right ugly b-stard (by his own admission), but he's had loads of girlfriends and is married. Didn't do him any harm, and some of the women he dated were actually stunning.

This thread is gonna turn into Faceparty. Rate my pic lolz xxx! I'm gonna make my pics of myself on my profile 'friends only' now, I know some b-ggers gonna go looking.:bah


----------



## Prufrocking

I think I'm average. I'm not stand-out attractive. I look a lot younger than I am. I have been told a few times that I'm pretty/cute, and complimented on my eyes...but whenever I hear it, I think, then why am I still single? I went to a party with some friends, and my one friend got constantly hit on. I felt invisible. I couldn't lie to myself that people are just shy or intimidated by me. when someone sees someone they're attracted to, they'll do something. maybe I send out a bad vibe or the wrong pheromones.


----------



## FBH

Prufrocking said:


> when someone sees someone they're attracted to, they'll do something.


This is not true for all people...

Trust me. :sigh


----------



## papaSmurf

Like polythene, I tend to feel like hideous swamp beast most days. I also tend to feel that my apparel marks me as monstrous, somehow. I've got a fair bit of BDD though, so I'm not exactly the most impartial of judges.


----------



## Dane

I would say I'm about average looking. I pay attention to how I dress and keep my hair as good looking as I can. I've had a decent number of girls express interest in me, sometimes even approaching me in clubs, when all they know about me is how I look/act. I'm satisfied with my looks, they have nothing to do with my SA.

Fuzzy Logic, you look at least as good as I do. I would say you are above average.

thewall, I've seen you on the pic thread. You're downright pretty.


----------



## sublimit

Yes, I think I'm ugly, but I'd probably use words such as hideous, disfigured, repulsive, etc. I cannot for the life of me understand how people could see me any differently. I know my self image is completely messed up though. *sigh*


----------



## Lovesick Loner

Sadly, I don't like the way I look. I wouldn't go so far as to saying I'm ugly, but sometimes I don't like what I see in the mirror. And I will often cringe when I see a pic or a video someone posts of me on facebook or what not.


----------



## Neptunus

When I was in my twenties, I was told I was very beautiful. However, chronic stress, sleep deprivation, and the 25lbs I put on since going back on paxil have really detracted from my looks. I don't consider myself at all attractive at this point. 

In fact, the other day, some tried to guess my age --- and they picked 10 years older than really I am. Doesn't surprise me, given how hard my life has been. Guess it's starting to show. :sigh


----------



## mixolydian

I've got terrible body image issues and it's a huge issue for me. I've never been told outright that I am ugly but there are days when I feel like I'm the most hideous thing in the world and wonder how people bare to look at me. Strangely, I look at a lot of pictures of when I was younger and I think that I was a cute kid and wonder what the hell happened. I'm unsure whether I actually did get ugly as I grew up or whether its all in my head.


----------



## stina

I don't think I'm very attractive. I would say that I'm ugly, wouldn't say i'm hideous though (well not most of the time anyway...). 
If I could change the way I look, I'd change a lot. Although, sometimes when I get really dressed up, put on some make-up etc I feel a little better. But it's just so much effort just to feel a little better about myself.
This used to get me down a lot. I'm very intimidated by people that I perceive as being attractive.
I know it's stupid though. I don't consider myself to be superficial at all, but I can't help but feel this way.
tbh the main thing that bugs me about being unattractive is that I feel I'll never find a partner....


----------



## tutliputli

I'm pretty sure I'm not objectively ugly, but I still feel ugly sometimes. Other times I think I'm pretty, but I feel arrogant saying that. I have very low self-esteem.


----------



## strawberryjulius

stina said:


> I don't think I'm very attractive. I would say that I'm ugly, wouldn't say i'm hideous though (well not most of the time anyway...).
> If I could change the way I look, I'd change a lot. Although, sometimes when I get really dressed up, put on some make-up etc I feel a little better. But it's just so much effort just to feel a little better about myself.
> This used to get me down a lot. I'm very intimidated by people that I perceive as being attractive.
> I know it's stupid though. I don't consider myself to be superficial at all, but I can't help but feel this way.
> *tbh the main thing that bugs me about being unattractive is that I feel I'll never find a partner....*


I've seen some uhh, I guess what society would call "unfortunate looking" people with partners. I've never seen what you look like, but I'm sure you're nowhere near as bad as you think.

I really consider myself unconventionally attractive and unique looking. That's what has made me more confident in my looks. I embraced the big curly hair, dark circles and pale skin. I'm not perfect though, I still hate my thighs and I think about it constantly throughout the day. :|


----------



## strawberryjulius

tutliputli said:


> I'm pretty sure I'm not objectively ugly, but I still feel ugly sometimes. Other times I think I'm pretty, but I feel arrogant saying that. I have very low self-esteem.


Don't feel arrogant! You are pretty and you have every right to say it and believe it.


----------



## tutliputli

strawberryjulius said:


> Don't feel arrogant! You are pretty and you have every right to say it and believe it.


Aw, thanks! You are very pretty too. :yes

I know what you mean about the unconventionally attractive thing, I'm the same. I've grown to love my deathly-pale-all-year-round complexion. I don't see any dark circles on you though.


----------



## Rixy

I know this sounds weird, it's kind of hard to put into words but has anyone ever felt shy to comment on people's appearances? Like, I'm afraid to compliment a pretty girl because I'm unattractive myself. I'm afraid I might creep her out or something :/


----------



## tutliputli

^ That's not weird, I get the same thing. :/ At the end of the day, a compliment is always nice for whoever receives it, so I just go ahead and say what I think if I've got something nice to say. It can only make their day a little bit better.


----------



## thewall

Rixy said:


> I know this sounds weird, it's kind of hard to put into words but has anyone ever felt shy to comment on people's appearances? Like, I'm afraid to compliment a pretty girl because I'm unattractive myself. I'm afraid I might creep her out or something :/


I can relate to this even though I have commented on guys' appearances before. I felt like I freaked them out or something.


----------



## kee

Sometimes. I do enjoy my own skin despite wishing I was much much prettier.

Being ugly as myself isn't that bad. Looking at prettier people makes me feel overshadowed. But if I consider the people who were abnormally born or people who have met accidents, I feel guiltily grateful that I have better features than them.


----------



## MindOverMood

I don't think I'm ugly, some people might and that's their opinion. Having braces and being kinda slim might make think I am, but I know my braces will come off once my teeth straighten up and I can always gain weight if god would let me =P


----------



## Paper Samurai

I feel unattractive most days, sometimes even ugly.  But I get compliments at times that just make me completely confused about my situation. I recognise that I have BDD issues though, and they could be badly skewing my perception - it's a result of having absolutely awful skin in my early teens and being told I'm repulsive on a regular basis back then. Sigh, bad memories.


----------



## Fuzzy Logic

Zombie Sheep said:


> Mate. I just looked. YOU ARE NOT UGLY. I mean, ffs, I figured you'd be a bit on the average-looking side at least but... GRRR! You're handsome damnit! This is a thread for ugly people! You're barred! :bat
> 
> Whoever called you ugly is hallucinating. If their brains are telling them you're ugly they need sectioned, their brains ain't working right. I fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. YOU didn't. :b


Do not feel bad, that photo is very unrepresentative, I took quite a few pics in different lighting and had to tweak the colours and saturation just to get one that I would not be totally ashamed of using on websites, and even that looks ghastly in higher resolution.

Anyway, I think if I was at all attractive then at least one woman would have expressed interest in me. I know men usually make the first move, but in the course of my entire life you would expect at least one girl to hit on me if I was attractive. The only time anyone has ever expressed attraction towards me was when I was approuched by some creepy guy when I was a kid (who I was fortunately smart enough to get away from).


----------



## FBH

Fuzzy Logic said:


> Do not feel bad, that photo is very unrepresentative, I took quite a few pics in different lighting and had to tweak the colours and saturation just to get one that I would not be totally ashamed of using on websites, and even that looks ghastly in higher resolution.


I think I've only met one person _ever_ who's had _one_ picture (out of about a thousand, lol) represent their real life beauty, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone who looks better in an undoctored picture. (Color and saturation don't count as doctoring...a camera usually won't capture the correct lighting and color anyway.)


----------



## FBH

Rixy said:


> I know this sounds weird, it's kind of hard to put into words but has anyone ever felt shy to comment on people's appearances? Like, I'm afraid to compliment a pretty girl because I'm unattractive myself. I'm afraid I might creep her out or something :/


I can definitely relate. I feel out of line in complimenting someone, especially about their appearances. It's something I'm working on...


----------



## tutliputli

FBH said:


> I think I've only met one person _ever_ who's had _one_ picture (out of about a thousand, lol) represent their real life beauty, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone who looks better in an undoctored picture. (Color and saturation don't count as doctoring...a camera usually won't capture the correct lighting and color anyway.)


I completely agree, and I'm not just saying that because I look like sh*t in photos. I look in the mirror and see an attractive girl, but I look at a photo of myself and I think I'm hideous. Photos rarely capture how a person really looks.


----------



## stars

I think i'm ugly. Very. I can't even explain how deep that goes for me. But i stopped blaming it for my social failures as i've seen loads of people that are unpretty but are like magic socially.


----------



## Fuzzy Logic

This. I don't blame my looks for my social failure. Looking better would probably help a bit though.


----------



## earplosion

I am very unattractive.


----------



## ninka

Fuzzy Logic said:


> This. I don't blame my looks for my social failure. Looking better would probably help a bit though.


yes, i think it would surely help. 
i remember thinking "oh s**t, i'm so ugly" as early as 6yo. it got worse in teenage years :-(


----------



## wineandcheese

Yep, I think I am.


----------



## anonymid

I don't think I'm ugly--though that doesn't mean I'm not. It's just not something I find myself thinking about one way or the other.


----------



## Deathinmusic

I don't know about ugly. Below average.. yeah.


----------



## TheCanadian1

I used to think I'm ugly until I realized I look about the same as everyone else... Different. Some people are attracted to my looks, some are not... Just like I'm attracted to some girls, and not others...

We are who we are, it doesn't matter what we look like.


----------



## theuprising

aubre said:


> I know I am ugly. If it makes you feel any better, I am 100% sure I am uglier than you.
> 
> It does hold me back. When I see people I assume the first thing they think about me is "Wow, he's so unnattractive."
> 
> I have never met and I can't imagine anyone uglier than myself.


I feel really bad for you since a lot of social image is based on looks, though its only the first impression, looks can only get you so far (if you're a guy, different story for girls imo ).

I mean unless there's something genetic, you should be able to do things with your body, with style (clothes) and working out. It sucks if its something genetic or uncontrollable though, but again, it will only give you a negative first impression, that's all.


----------



## FoxLuvr72

quietgal said:


> Yep, I'm a plain jane. I'm practically invisible to most guys too,


That is me exactly too :sigh


----------



## Miss Meggie

I don't find myself to be necessarily unattractive.
But I don't think I'm particularly _attractive_ either.
And on days that I do feel somewhat pretty, I either see my reflection in a window or a picture that was taken of me, etc. and I lose that feeling almost immediately.


----------



## Half_A_Person

I am truly, truly ugly. My face, body, hair...everything. I don't understand how anybody could ever be so repulsive. I can hardly even stand it. When it gets really bad I don't leave the house and I have to cover up all mirrors and reflective surfaces because if I see myself I go nuts--I cry, scream, hit, punch, and yell, and then I stay depressed and angry for a couple of hours/days.

I believe that if I were at least normal looking, many of my problems would be solved. The way I look is the main reason why I will never be in a relationship. I would be able to work on my other flaws if I weren't so hideous. But what's the point of trying to become a better person if you'll never be good enough anyway?


----------



## Zombie Sheep

Fuzzy Logic said:


> Do not feel bad, that photo is very unrepresentative, I took quite a few pics in different lighting and had to tweak the colours and saturation just to get one that I would not be totally ashamed of using on websites, and even that looks ghastly in higher resolution.
> 
> Anyway, I think if I was at all attractive then at least one woman would have expressed interest in me. I know men usually make the first move, but in the course of my entire life you would expect at least one girl to hit on me if I was attractive. The only time anyone has ever expressed attraction towards me was when I was approuched by some creepy guy when I was a kid (who I was fortunately smart enough to get away from).


You have to put yourself in a position where women are able to approach you. I have had women (as far as I could tell) make a move, not that'd I'd easily realise if that was the case or not, but they were fairly suggestive about it so I'll assume they were after me.

That's because early on in my adulthood I was probably more shy than socially phobic and forced myself to get drunk and go to clubs and meat markets. Oh and I had hair back then, that helped. I just couldn't keep them interested and just terrified them and shooed them off within the space of a few awkward minutes.

I'm not unfairly assuming that you could easily do that, I couldn't now either, no chance, but the fact is if you're not in a place where people chat each other up, it ain't gonna happen, not if you're male. That's why I rely on internet dating. My point is - it isn't proof positive that you're ugly. It might just be that you've not been in enough situations where it *could* happen.

I could compare a picture of you in a 'good light' with one of me in an equally favourable set of conditions and using me as a standard of what comprises ugliness you are NOT ugly. I mean, you have hair for a start, and you don't look like Wayne Rooney. I think that your SA is making you feel ugly when you shouldn't, by rights, have to feel that way. Sorry if that sounds ingratiating but you're at least average looking. I mean well by saying this.


----------



## dust3000

No, not ugly. I could probably lose 5kg and look even better, but I don't bother with that since in any case my hairiness makes me unattractive.


----------



## Some Russian Guy

lostwitness said:


> Every day when I look in the mirror I'm disgusted. Sometimes I think I wouldn't even be going through this if I was good looking my whole life.
> 
> Does anyone else think that they're ugly, and do you believe that this belief holds you back?


My nose, forehead, and ears are gushing oil 24/7, so the oil on my face makes me ugly, and it also creates pimples as well, which makes me even more uglier...

I had the biggest zit on my nose just couple of days ego... it was like mount Everest, only a bit smaller... it was there for a week...
just imaging: a 28 year old dude with zits on he's face... that makes me the ugliest person on this forum


----------



## SeekingHappiness

^ I use to have acne for a bit during my freshman year of college and I notice it usually gets worse after I eat something fried/oily, I stopped eating those foods and replaced them with fruits/vegetables and voila! no acne/pimples, you should try it. I know its hard to eat healthy in a society where fast food is the norm, but I believe it will help you in the long run.

I was born with a genetic skin disorder, well the doctors say its genetic but I don't believe so. I have eczema and that has contributed to most of my anxiety growing up (upon other things as well). For those of you that have this condition I'm sure you know how it feels to be judged in front of your face and behind your backs by not only children your age but parents as well because they think the condition is contagious which it is not. However what I have found out is that diet has a larger effect on our health than you think, and that it can be detrimental to our physical aspects and possibly our mental aspects as well.

I'm not saying diet is the cause of SA but I'm sure if you consume large amounts of alcohol or something that your body cannot handle it can magnify our SA or whatever our other problems are.

Do I think I'm ugly? yes definitely:blank


----------



## xannfir

Well, sure... ok maybe not ugly or beautiful but some mediocre point in between the two.


----------



## Anna

i think i'm average. i imagine to other people my range goes from "hey, she's decent looking" to "damn, does she not care what she looks like?"

when i'm depressed i don't put any effort toward my appearance and i do not in fact care what i look like.

i _feel_ ugly more often than not, though. i dislike who i am inside so much it overtakes any worries about physical attractiveness. damn self-esteem leeching depression.


----------



## pita

Yes, I think I'm ugly.

Whenever some dude hits on me (a rare occasion, but it happens once in a while), I am convinced that he is thinking, "This ugly girl will be super flattered if I talk to her. She is likely desperate and will likely sleep with me."

It doesn't help that people are always telling me how gorgeous my sisters are, but never bringing up my own looks. They don't come out and say, "You, however, are ugly as hell," but they might as well. How else am I supposed to interpret, "I saw your sister today, and she's so pretty!" for the zillionth time?


----------



## deferred dream

It's sort of a mixed bag with me. According to society's standards, I'm not some supermodel, but I'm not ugly by their standards. When I look in a mirror though, all I see is a hideous, weak, pathetic, unwanted, useless girl behind a decently pretty face with the most convincing fake smile you've ever seen. That is what makes me so ugly, that I know what's behind my pretty face.


----------



## tigerlilly

i don't know. on good days, decent-looking. on bad days, ugly. i hate my eyes (they turn down at the corners), my nose (too big), my jaw (too weak), my figure (too boyish), and frequently my hair as well (unmanageable and hard to keep clean).

i try not to dwell on my flaws, because i know that only makes me like myself even less, but it's hard.

as for _inner_ beauty, i have good qualities and bad qualities. i don't always love myself but i usually don't hate myself either.


----------



## FBH

tigerlilly said:


> i don't know. on good days, decent-looking. on bad days, ugly. i hate my eyes (they turn down at the corners), my nose (too big), my jaw (too weak), my figure (too boyish), and frequently my hair as well (unmanageable and hard to keep clean).
> 
> i try not to dwell on my flaws, because i know that only makes me like myself even less, but it's hard.
> 
> as for _inner_ beauty, i have good qualities and bad qualities. i don't always love myself but i usually don't hate myself either.


It's the imperfections that make us real. I don't know about most people, but I know I prefer someone real to what society expects me to find beautiful.


----------



## sash

I'm always told that I'm beautiful. But when I'm told this...I find it hard to believe especially if it comes from a guy. Yesterday, I got a compliment from a woman...and it's more believable when it comes from a woman. But I still have a hard time believing this because I had horrible acne as a teen and I went through many years of low self esteem.


----------



## IcoRules

I rarely, almost never, get any attention from guys, so I don't know what that says. While my sister was blessed with beauty, having about 20 guys after her right now. It makes me wonder what I'm supposed to do. :|


----------



## uwo

I know I'm not ugly...Some times I feel pretty, beautiful even...But sometimes I feel like "that's me?...yikes"


----------



## strawberryjulius

FBH said:


> It's the imperfections that make us real. I don't know about most people, but I know I prefer someone real to what society expects me to find beautiful.


Me too! I wish more people would think this way.


----------



## kev

I used to think I was good-looking but now I just think I'm average. I've gained some weight and don't really take care of myself as well as I should. Also, I'm self-conscious about my nose, it's on the large side. I don't think about my looks very often lately, probably because I don't think about dating much either.


----------



## earplosion

I think "plain" girls are the most beautiful. Personality trumps physicality any day of the week for me.

Unfortunately for me, even they have standards. I have skin problems and bad teeth. Yuck!

And absolutely no confidence, which might as well be a physical trait.


----------



## strawberryjulius

earplosion said:


> I think "plain" girls are the most beautiful. Personality trumps physicality any day of the week for me.
> 
> Unfortunately for me, even they have standards. I have skin problems and bad teeth. Yuck!
> 
> And absolutely no confidence, which might as well be a physical trait.


As a plain girl, skin problems and bad teeth do not bother me.


----------



## gopherinferno

When I look in the mirror I see that I look okay, but when I'm around people I feel like an awkward dorky fattie.


----------



## Wirt

ohpewp said:


> When I look in the mirror I see that I look okay, but when I'm around people I feel like an awkward dorky fattie.


same here

except more 'emaciated' than 'fattie'

actually when im at home doing nothing and looking in a mirror i think i look okay. but looking in a mirror right before going out I see meh


----------



## earplosion

strawberryjulius said:


> As a plain girl, skin problems and bad teeth do not bother me.


Aww..

Then you're one in approximately 3.5 billion! 

Lucky Australia.


----------



## rezdog

I'm very self conscious about my weight. I'm about 6'0 130lbs and can't put on weight for crap.


----------



## miniman45

Beauty is a perception (i think that's the right word)

I hate looking at myself in the mirror 99% of the time i avoid it

and yes i'm ugly :blank


----------



## fastfoodlooser

I was until I shaved off the bin laden

and all that stuff about "eye of the beholder" and "everyone can be beautiful" 

it's like Jim Carry said in "Liar Liar"

"That's just something ugly people say"


----------



## miniman45

^^^^ I think your wrong, I think everyone can be considered beautiful by someone else its just a matter of opinion.


----------



## knuckles17

well ive never been called hot or even decent for that matter but i HAVE been called ugly so i don't think i know!


----------



## fastfoodlooser

miniman45 said:


> ^^^^ I think your wrong, I think everyone can be considered beautiful by someone else its just a matter of opinion.


that's because you're young,

I used to be there, I was idealistic, I believed in things, but as life goes on, reality takes the driver's seat.

just give it time.


----------



## duskyy

I do, but it really doesn't bother me that much anymore.


----------



## stars

i think it's not about "eye of the beholder" but more like people have different tastes. so to one person someone could be ugly, but to another they could be their ideal looking person.


----------



## SOME

Not at all. I feel comfortable with the way i look no matter what anyone says.


----------



## TheDaffodil

fastfoodlooser said:


> that's because you're young,
> 
> I used to be there, I was idealistic, I believed in things, but as life goes on, reality takes the driver's seat.
> 
> just give it time.


The "reality" most people see is crippling. Being idealistic opens so many amazing doors, and widens your eyes to other realities - the world is not just one way. I don't think everyone has to "grow up" and become "realistic" and I'm honestly sad when I see it happen.

Anyway, even if you're being realistic, you have to account for different cultures. Hair, weight, height, skin tone, etc., the opinions change from culture to culture, not just person to person. And even if you're not the most attractive person physically, other things will make you more beautiful to specific people, say if you have a great laugh...or money...haha, for example. Beauty is a very extensive thing. You have to be open-minded to see that, though.


----------



## tutliputli

I'm sure someone else has posted the same comment but: beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I don't think I'm ugly right now. I feel beautiful.


----------



## tigerlilly

rezdog said:


> I'm very self conscious about my weight. I'm about 6'0 130lbs and can't put on weight for crap.


 ^ this. i'm 100 pounds. my BMI is 16.1. people used to harass me about not eating enough, even though i eat a LOT for my size. my doctor, like five years ago, accused my mother of starving me and tried to hospitalize me.


----------



## bluenotebooks

Yes, I am ugly.


----------



## MindOverMood

rezdog said:


> I'm very self conscious about my weight. I'm about 6'0 130lbs and can't put on weight for crap.


 I'm in the same boat, I'm 6'5, 155ish. My sister usually says I might have a faster metabolism which is why I am not able to gain weight.


----------



## Elad

MindOverMood said:


> I'm in the same boat, I'm 6'5, 155ish. My sister usually says I might have a faster metabolism which is why I am not able to gain weight.


I dont know if your guys scales are broken or not.. but 155 at 6'5 and 130 at 6ft really dont make a lot of sense looking at your profile pics.. you'd literally look like starving ethiopians if that was right and you really dont.


----------



## bowlingpins

Ugly? Yes, I am embarrassingly skinny and hardly have any facial symmetry. A plastic surgeon would look at me as a hopeless case. I am too broken to be fixed.


----------



## FBH

Elad said:


> I dont know if your guys scales are broken or not.. but 155 at 6'5 and 130 at 6ft really dont make a lot of sense looking at your profile pics.. you'd literally look like starving ethiopians if that was right and you really dont.


I've got a friend who's 6' and 125 (which is funny in contrast to me, at 6' and 180). He's pretty skinny, but he doesn't look like he's starving. He just looks like a pretty normal guy.


----------



## fastfoodlooser

TheDaffodil said:


> The "reality" most people see is crippling. Being idealistic opens so many amazing doors, and widens your eyes to other realities - the world is not just one way. I don't think everyone has to "grow up" and become "realistic" and I'm honestly sad when I see it happen.
> 
> Anyway, even if you're being realistic, you have to account for different cultures. Hair, weight, height, skin tone, etc., the opinions change from culture to culture, not just person to person. And even if you're not the most attractive person physically, other things will make you more beautiful to specific people, say if you have a great laugh...or money...haha, for example. Beauty is a very extensive thing. You have to be open-minded to see that, though.


as i said, give it time.


----------



## brianwarming

There is a lot of very smart people in here.... fastfoodlooser is one of them


----------



## TheDaffodil

fastfoodlooser said:


> as i said, give it time.


As I said, sad.
Trust me, dude, I don't break.


----------



## brianwarming

rezdog said:


> I'm very self conscious about my weight. I'm about 6'0 130lbs and can't put on weight for crap.


 I had that problem too. I didn't get enough to eat; never brought any food to school because of the usual SA reasons, so I would say I was about 20 pounds underweight. *Only *by eating like crazy + weigh gainer shakes + weightlifting, was I able to get a "normal" weight.

Edit : Actually, the only reason I'm up now (in the middle of the night), is to eat a bowl of oatmeal with soya milk. Crazy ?! maybe


----------



## JMX

Yes, I've had a friend tell me my eyes look weird because they've been stretched in both directions. My mother once told me I'm repulsive. Although a girl I hung out with a few weeks ago told me I'm not ugly, I don't think she's the kind of person that would straight up tell someone they're ugly. I still don't have any confidence in my looks though.


----------



## mflolovesme

hmm.....honestly im good looking, but im constantly worried about my image. its really bothersome....i wish i wasnt so self-conscious


----------



## dax

pita said:


> Yes, I think I'm ugly.


You so totally are not at all.


----------



## rezdog

Elad said:


> I dont know if your guys scales are broken or not.. but 155 at 6'5 and 130 at 6ft really dont make a lot of sense looking at your profile pics.. you'd literally look like starving ethiopians if that was right and you really dont.


You can tell just by looking at our faces?

I call myself noodle arms . I can wrap and touch my thumb to ring finger around my wrist and about 1/4 of the way up my forearm.

Us people who cannot gain weight are called Ectomorphs. Google that if you want to know what that is.

I at one point figured out that in order for me to put on muscle and weight would have to take in 3500+ healthy calories a day, lots of protein, and have a intense workout plan. I support myself and just don't have the money for that right now. Or the weight set/gym membership.

I don't think I'm ugly, in fact I know I'm not :boogie. But being as skinny as I am makes me feel very unman like and is probably the biggest cause for my social anxiety. I would have so much more self esteem if I could lift a 50 LB box. Trust me.


----------



## NiTro

Used to, not any more. I just recently started dating and met someone who is pretty but what really drew me towards her was the personality.

People always used to tell me i had beautiful eyes and my inner thoughts would be like "Great another eye comment, why can't people comment on the rest of me >.<". but i have come to accept the way i look and look at comments from a positive perspective.


----------



## brianwarming

pita said:


> Yes, I think I'm ugly.
> 
> Whenever some dude hits on me (a rare occasion, but it happens once in a while), I am convinced that he is thinking, "This ugly girl will be super flattered if I talk to her. She is likely desperate and will likely sleep with me."
> 
> It doesn't help that people are always telling me how gorgeous my sisters are, but never bringing up my own looks. They don't come out and say, "You, however, are ugly as hell," but they might as well. How else am I supposed to interpret, "I saw your sister today, and she's so pretty!" for the zillionth time?


I can so much relate to that !! I'm the ugly sheep of the family. E.g. my younger brother is dating cheerleader looking girls !!! I'm member of Team Ugly, SA or not, it wouldn't really make a difference. I would still lose in the highly competitive "dating game".


----------



## Phibes

I'm not entirely happy with myself physically, but I know I'm not ugly.


----------



## KumagoroBeam

yes.


----------



## mopsey

I feel so ugly it makes me want to die; literally. I have BDD, it's not fun.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I'm real ugly. In and out.


----------



## Wulf chan

I'm not. I used to think my nose is kind of crooked, but it adds to my image xD
I sometimes think I am unattractive and feel bad. But mostly I feel okay with myself. I wouldn't say I was particulary attractive or anything. But I do like my face and am not over weight, so I'm okay  I guess the only small issue is how I dress. But, bleh, that's the least of my concerns :\
I do feel lucky that I am good with how I look and don't just take it for granted, since quite a few people on here feel ugly  which is sad.


----------



## pita

dax said:


> You so totally are not at all.


Well that was a pleasantly surprising post to find. Thank you.


----------



## Saqq

yes, I'm like an ogre in my eyes. I wasn't always like this though...

I was a lot better before I fractured my ribcage, then broke a bone in my foot (still hurts sometimes) - I was working out/running daily - down to 180 - over 6 months I've ballooned back up to 205~ but it seems to have all gone to my face/neck ugh...

in fact I'm going to go to the gym right now, hopefully it's empty (yay 24hr gyms)


----------



## Emptyheart

I just think there can be some improvements in myself, I don't 
Think I'm entirely ugly....but most of the time people tell
Me my hair iswhat makes me pretty. That's kind of a let down


----------



## izzy

Most of the time I think I'm ugly.
From elementary to middle school, I got asked if I was a boy or a girl. In middle school, boys would go up to me and ask me out so him and his friends could get a good laugh out of it. After that, I never trusted if a boy was seriously asking me out.


----------



## Want2Bconfident

This may be a strange answer but I have no idea if I look good or bad. In my teenage years especially I was called ugly a lot of times, but I did look a mess, my hair was horrible, I had spots, I was scruffy, etc. Now I look my best and I look in the mirror and think I look cool. But then on the other hand my nose is a bit bigger than ideal, its not huge but in the past when I was called ugly a lot and list my flaws/imperfections, they'd always mention my nose and therefore I do fear that people when they see my nose will judge me as ugly.
I just have no idea how I look. So many people have told me in the past that I am ugly that I really do believe people see me as ugly, but when I look in the mirror I feel I look cool. 

Fearing being judged as ugly is the reason I and I am sure many others have social anxiety. I mean if you are self conscious being looked at and fear people's judgements on you when they look at you, that just drain confidence and makes you very anxious. I find it so hard to even get my words out when I am that anxious. This is something I so desperately want to overcome. 

I am trying to find a way to no longer be hurt or bothered if people judge me as ugly, to try and develop a mindset whereby I can allow people to think whatever they like of how I look and not be hurt if they are judging me negatively. There must be a way to achieve this. I want to shift all power from what people think of me to blocking all that out and just be myself.


----------



## Want2Bconfident

myhalo123 said:


> Ugly has to be the worst word ever invented.
> 
> No comment on how I feel about myself, but I will tell you this. I never used to feel that way until someone planted that word in my head!
> 
> Why does everything have to be this or that? Why can't there just be different things, different people. This world constantly makes no sense, especially when humans are suppose to be the intelligent ones.


I totally agree and understand what you mean. We're all different, we all unique, I find it so hurtful when people are critical of how others look, especially when you have no control over how you look over than aiming to make the most of yourself. I know this is bad but I have often felt very jealous of good looking people who were born good looking, they get so much positive attention and treat like they are so amazing from the opposite sex, and yet they don't have to make any effort in terms of showing what a nice person they are. Whereas if you are not good looking, you get overlooked and a lot of the opposite sex cannot be interested in you. It just seems unfair.

But I totally agree that I never thought I was ugly or there was anything wrong with how I looked until a number of people started saying I was ugly and so critical of some parts of my appearance. It makes you believe that people see you as ugly or if they see the 'flaws/imperfections' that they called you ugly for - that you become so self conscious of those parts in fear of being judged in this hurtful way again if people see that part of you. And self conscious worrying is what triggers anxiety and that is what developed my social anxiety.

I fear being judged as ugly, which is why I am so self conscious being looked at. I now want to stop fearing people judging me as ugly.


----------



## shadowmask

Emptyheart said:


> I just think there can be some improvements in myself, I don't
> Think I'm entirely ugly....but most of the time people tell
> Me my hair is what makes me pretty. That's kind of a let down


It's not just your hair, it's everything.

Personally, I feel like a freak, whether it's objectively true or just low self esteem/depression idk. Probably a combination of both.


----------



## FoxLuvr72

Want2Bconfident said:


> Fearing being judged as ugly is the reason I and I am sure many others have social anxiety. I mean if you are self conscious being looked at and fear people's judgements on you when they look at you, that just drain confidence and makes you very anxious.


:agree


----------



## Want2Bconfident

irishK said:


> I never even thought about ugliness until it was planted, as you said. I remember being told I had a face like a horse. I remember a girl teasing me when I was little that I looked like an alien (I had a small head and big eyes. charming) it also sucked when grown ups in my life insulted my constantly. I dont know if I think Im ugly. I think I'm distorted maybe. I dont feel right. I feel less than others alot, not just attractiveness, but in all areas. Sometimes I feel foreign to myself. I do have days where I wont even look at myself and I avoid reflections. I want to shatter things. It may be part of BBD. I once had such a horrible feeling come over me when I previewed a video of mine on youtube, like the urge to smash the computer monitor. Ive learned now, instead of breaking something, I will either delete myself off the screen or just stay away from youtube.
> 
> I also have days where I dont care. I kind of grow neutral about myself, like who cares. I would like one day to not hate myself so much and maybe become friends with me and to tell everyone who made me feel less than, to **** the hell off.
> 
> I am sensing pent up anger here... hmmm.


It is interesting how all of us who received put downs, told we were ugly or ridiculed for how we look followed the same sort of behaviour pattern to it. i.e. becoming self conscious, fearing those judgements, started blaming those parts of ourselves for why we are seen as in this negative way, we start developing negative beliefs on those parts of us, we lack confidence, we're self conscious and anxious, fearful of negative judgements on how we look. All because of some horrible insensitive jerks making us feel disgusting or ugly or not normal, not good enough, etc.

I became a perfectionist in how I look, aiming to look the best I possibly can in order to try and avoid any more put downs and made to feel so crap about myself. I do feel better now I look my best, but like I said in another post, I also got put downs for my nose and I just remain self conscious of my nose believing people will judge me as ugly for my nose. But I want to stop being hurt or bothered by any more negative judgements on how I look. I want to allow people to judge me however they want and not place any importance on it. Whilst I remain self conscious and fear being judged as ugly I will remain so anxious and my confidence will drain. I don't want to be self conscious and anxious any more, I want to be able to handle and accept any judgements on me. Life is too short to let people who think critically of how I look control me and make me live a restricted life.


----------



## TheVoid

lostwitness said:


> Every day when I look in the mirror I'm disgusted. Sometimes I think I wouldn't even be going through this if I was good looking my whole life.


I don't think looking good will cure your SA. A lot of good looking people suffer SA and a lot of "ugly" or average looking people face life positively so don't relate the two and feel bad about it.

I used to think I looked really pretty but others always tell me I look cute. So now I think I look pretty cute :boogie


----------



## Want2Bconfident

TheVoid said:


> I don't think looking good will cure your SA. A lot of good looking people suffer SA and a lot of "ugly" or average looking people face life positively so don't relate the two and feel bad about it.
> 
> I used to think I looked really pretty but others always tell me I look cute. So now I think I look pretty cute :boogie


I do not agree with this. Its about what you personally fear, it doesn't matter if some good looking people have SA and some ugly people don't, everyone has their own issues - some ugly people don't care and are not hurt by being judged as ugly hence they do not feel self conscious and anxious, whereas yes some very good looking people have SA but they have their own issues and fears that makes them self conscious and anxious.
I know someone who is intelligent who fears being judged as stupid because she was always judged like by her mother as a child. Yet some dumb people don't care or are hurt by being judged as stupid, some can really laugh at themselves. You have to overcome the fear specific to yourself, it doesn't matter if some attractive people have SA, they have their own issues/fears that they need to overcome. 
For anyone who has SA because they fear being judged as ugly, they have to start having more confidence in how they look - i.e. aiming to look their best, and have to no longer fear being judged as ugly. You have to be able to handle these judgements, become thicker skinned, to allow people to think whatever they want and not be bothered.

For anyone like myself who fears being judged as ugly and is self conscious being looked at, imagine you were in a mindset whereby you did not care what people think of how you look, you are not hurt if people think you are ugly, you are at ease when people are looking at you, you are not placing importance on what people think of how you look because you are not hurt or bothered by what people think of how you look, I bet you would no longer be self conscious and anxious being looked at. That is what you have to achieve.


----------



## percyblueraincoat

*Ideas*

"Ugly" is an idea. And love is beyond ideas.

Seriously, where are exactly are these "ugly" people? I don't seem them when I walk around. There is that awful nonsense from the fashion industry and rabid thinking within certain branches of society that has been trying to have one thing and one thing only declared as "attractive" for a while now. But it has not succeeded and it won't. I know this one young woman who goes on about her cheeks making her feel self conscious about how she looks. Now, she's gorgeous and one of these days she might realise that. How you look is largely an idea. An idea in your head and an idea in the head of other people. In the case of other people, the ideas will be different dependent on the person you meet. In the case of you, the ideas can often be constant which can lead to the formation of negative beliefs about the self and boy oh boy do you have problems if those negative beliefs end up as negative fundamental beliefs.

Now, I've got a bald spot that NASA spacemen can most likely see, phone me up from orbit and tell me it's looking good from up there. And in truth, I am a bit sensitive about it and it's quite sensitive. LOL. But am I gonna let all that stop me? Erm...nope. It can be about what the individual personally fears. That is, after all, the power of the insult. We get called something bad and it has its power because, on some level, we fear it might be true. So much about fear on this forum and that's understandable. Fear this, fear that. Fear running the show. Well no longer. Fear has its place and it will be put back in its place. And, for the record, a beautiful body is nice to look at. A beautiful personality illuminates the universe.

Return the gift. If you're given a compliment, accept it and receive the gift. If you're insulted for no good reason or criticised for no good reason (after alll, people telling me I'm an idiot because I wanted to walk on a tight-rope whilst drunk would not really be an insult), do not accept the gift. See it for what it is. An idea. And you are under no obligation to accept the ideas some other people may have about you. And even if they have negative ideas about you, they are negative ideas and nothing more.


----------



## TheVoid

Want2Bconfident said:


> some ugly people don't care and are not hurt by being judged as ugly hence they do not feel self conscious and anxious, whereas yes some very good looking people have SA but they have their own issues and fears that makes them self conscious and anxious.


This is exactly what I am saying. Being pretty or ugly doesn't determine the way we feel generally. Some average looking people are really happy and confident while some very pretty/handsome people are anxious about the way they look and are negative. So what is it that you don't agree with?


----------



## Ysonesse

Want2Bconfident said:


> It is interesting how all of us who received put downs, told we were ugly or ridiculed for how we look followed the same sort of behaviour pattern to it. i.e. becoming self conscious, fearing those judgements, started blaming those parts of ourselves for why we are seen as in this negative way, we start developing negative beliefs on those parts of us, we lack confidence, we're self conscious and anxious, fearful of negative judgements on how we look. All because of some horrible insensitive jerks making us feel disgusting or ugly or not normal, not good enough, etc.


It's a common thread with a nasty basis, isn't it? Many times, it starts in childhood, with comments uttered by either parents, other authority figures, or even random strangers. It becomes reinforced as a person gets older, especially during one's teen years. (Puberty is murder for the burgeoning self-esteem :|).

The problem is trying to extricate the damaged self-perception from the years of comments to form a more healthy image that is based on objective evidence about one's true appearance.



joinmartin said:


> "Ugly" is an idea. And love is beyond ideas.


That is really, really sweet. :clap


----------



## Game 7

If I were able to get into good shape physically, I believe getting into good shape mentally would be a ton easier. It'd still be hard, just cause the brain is so damn complex, but having physical self-esteem can only help.
As for my face, I dunno. Like I said, losing weight would help that cause my face would change, and I'd look healthier. I'd also smile more.
Right now, I believe I am not attractive, but I won't say ugly.


----------



## gold132

No i'm pretty beautiful D) its one of the few good things i have going for me, thats not to say i don't have my ugly days and i'm really over-critical of my appearance, thats why i take so long to get ready


----------



## Lost_loner

No, I'm not ugly but my appearance is far from perfection. Not that I need to be perfect, but I'm really self-consious about the way I look...so I can take a while to get ready too. haha...

But I couldn't care less about how others look....it really pisses me off when people choose their friends based on appearance. And it's still VERY prevalent in high school.


----------



## Freiheit

I'm not ugly. I've been told on numerous occasions I'm good looking but I still *feel *ugly.


----------



## IHeartSteveMcQueen

I used to think I was really ugly. it was a huge problem for a long time, I avoided people and stopped answering my phone because it was so hard for me to get out the door sometimes. buying clothes was painful cause I couldn't even look in the mirrors in the changing rooms. If someone complimented me I thought they were ****ing with me and I'd get even more depressed. I've kinda worked on this this year, going to the gym and actually taking some care when buying new clothes, and had an experience that made me feel really ****ing sexy and then a friend who almost slapped me upside the head for saying I thought I was ugly. Its only been a couple of months but that problem seems to be gone from this earth like the snows of yesteryear. I know I'm not a knockout but I no longer feel like a freak.


----------



## Series Silver

I certainly used to. I used to have many spots, big and wee, and (still have) many freckles.

However, since leaving the dreaded place that is High School, I've felt better about my appearance. I've got my own hair style now, I have spots and freckles still, but on the former, not many. I've also been told by some others that I look good.

So, in short, no I don't.


----------



## TheGecko

I am hideously ugly as I have been told many times. I can't stand to look at myself.


----------



## Narcissus

Emptyheart said:


> I just think there can be some improvements in myself, I don't
> Think I'm entirely ugly....but most of the time people tell
> Me my hair iswhat makes me pretty. That's kind of a let down


Uh, yeah, you look great.


----------



## Narcissus

I can't even remember if I've posted in this thread already, but in general, I feel average or slightly below.


----------



## laura024

Some days I can't stand looking in the mirror. But most times I think I'm okay looking.


----------



## Franky

I guess thinking you're ugly would really knock your confidence around. I truely believe everyone is beautiful in their own individual way. 

But, I seem to be quite attractive from what people say, but I don't feel it at all. I'm in such a bad way mentally that I pretty much am ugly really.


----------



## A nonymous

Maybe not ugly, but I'm bad, terrible even, at facial hair. So I just end up looking stupid lol.

Actually yes, I do. I needed that jaw surgery when I was younger and never got it, now it really bothers me how crooked my face is =/


----------



## timmytim7

i hate how i look

can't get any decent pics for internet dating profile either and so don't get hardly any replies


tim


----------



## james25

I have very little confidence in my physical appearance. It's not so much that I think I'm ugly. It's just that I feel that, because of the way I dress and walk; my body shape; and my facial expressions, people think I'm a little odd. And that's before I even open my mouth.


----------



## Hamster

Inturmal said:


> We all know that beauty is on the inside.
> and that makes me ugly.


:agreefor me as well lol


----------



## Prefix

I feel "average". I don't feel like I'm any kind of looker or a catch, but I don't think I'm "ugly" or "disgusting". 

However, I find when I'm in public I'm very self conscious. I constantly worry that there is something weird on my face, or that my clothes look bad, or that my "gut" is hanging out (I'm not even fat!) etc etc etc.


I did use to have pretty bad acne, but I've gotten over it for the most part except the occasional pimple or 3 here or there


----------



## sridaran

Not sure. I look at other guys and think, I'm at least a 6, I'm in great shape, I'm clean-shaven, have straight white teeth, etc. But after a night out at the bars and being ignored by every woman in the place, I tend to re-evaluate. Too short, too many acne scars, big nose, etc.


----------



## shyvr6

sridaran, maybe it's not your looks, but your demeanor. Just a guess.


----------



## SilentWitness

Yes


----------



## PickleNose

I don't know if I'd say I'm ugly. I _did _consider applying for a job as a scarecrow and at one time thought that maybe Hollywood could use me for some kind of hideous thing in some strange movie.


----------



## Nintendo

Yes.


----------



## Ysonesse

BrainError said:


> They used to do this in our school too. All of the preppy boys would ask out 'loser' girls. None of us ever fell for it that I can remember, but it made me skip school for half the week the first time it happened. I was so afraid of facing that boy again.


God, this routine is older than dirt. I was the unwelcome recipient of this gag several times in school, and that was twenty-plus years ago. Last time it happened (in 10th grade), the guy actually wrote down a phone number and gave it to me. I ripped up the paper and handed him the shreds*. Nobody ever pulled that trick on me again. :boogie

*(No, he wasn't interested in me. He did this to a few other unpopular girls besides myself)

For the OT: Yep, I'm still ugly :teeth


----------



## Sabriella

Yes, I think I'm ugly most of the time. I think I've adjusted to the mirrors in my house, because most of the time I think I look OK, sometimes even pretty in them. But if I catch sight of myself in a public restroom mirror, or a shop window, I feel quite disgusting and just want to put my head down and get out of there.


----------



## strawberryjulius

My perception changes constantly...it's so annoying.


----------



## Perfectionist

My weight is my big barrier with feeling comfortable with my looks.

If I lost some weight, I'd be happy with how I look. Until then, not exactly.


----------



## Ambivert

Mentally yes, but many people have told me I am very good looking so I don't know what to think (my assumptions clash with other people's perceptions..)


----------



## sadfaze

I'm ugly.


----------



## odd_one_out

Yes. I got asked yesterday, "Why are you so attractive?", and answered, "Because it's dark". I seriously think at times my friend needs an eye test.


----------



## scabbyelbows

I'm ugly.

But, as far as I'm concerned, I'm through with trying to attract a lover. All I want is friends. :C


----------



## Cedilla

I look different every day, or my perception changes, I don't know which one it is either. Also for some reason when I take a picture of myself with a crappy camera, like my cell camera I think I look horrible, but if I take a pic of myself with my mom's Kodiak I look like 10x better. Seems like the better the camera, the better I look. Its weired, I would think it would be the opposite.:roll


----------



## Narcissus

Perfectionist said:


> My weight is my big barrier with feeling comfortable with my looks.
> 
> If I lost some weight, I'd be happy with how I look. Until then, not exactly.


From what I've seen, you look fine, but don't let me stop you from losing weight. I've done quite a bit of that over the past few years.


----------



## Jessiscool8

I always feel ugly. My family and friends say I'm pretty, but I don't believe it. It just feels like they are lying. I've thrown mini tantrums in my bathroom because I feel like everything about myself, on that particular day, is a wreck. 

We live in a society where men and women have to look a certain way or they aren't accepted. My roommate is always saying how he thinks some girl is hot or how he'd like to be with some celebrity and it makes me feel so sad. Sad, because I don't look like those girls. It's lame, and I should have more confidence than that but... I can't help it sometimes.


----------



## strawberryjulius

Jessiscool8 said:


> I always feel ugly. My family and friends say I'm pretty, but I don't believe it. It just feels like they are lying. I've thrown mini tantrums in my bathroom because I feel like everything about myself, on that particular day, is a wreck.
> 
> We live in a society where men and women have to look a certain way or they aren't accepted. My roommate is always saying how he thinks some girl is hot or how he'd like to be with some celebrity and it makes me feel so sad. Sad, because I don't look like those girls. It's lame, and I should have more confidence than that but... I can't help it sometimes.


Referring to your second paragraph - I'm the same, it's really hard to not let it get to you.


----------



## SusanStorm

Well,I don't know.Some days I think I look ok,and other days I feel fat and ugly.
Some days I'd wish that I wasen't as tall as I am because it's hard to find men who like that or are taller than me some times.Can't belive how many short men there is out there  Seems like some men feel threatened by me being tall,and it's not like I can do anything about it so I can't do anything but accept it.
Anyway,I have a boyfriend right now and he's taller than me.


----------



## Your Crazy

Megan Fox outside.

Megan Fox inside.


----------



## felula

I have never once been called pretty but I have been called fat / ugly so many times I lost count :/ I'm the girl that gets all the negative attention when I walk into a room and it makes me want to cry. I don't get why people are so self-centered and judgemental these days! I always try not to judge a person I don't know - or even a person I do know. But I guess inner beauty is outdated. Now days you have to be blond, curvy, underweight, plastic & completely horrible to others in order to be accepted!

Anyway, sorry for my little rant


----------



## STKinTHEmud

I think standards when it comes to looks are different for men and women. Women are generally regarded as having a wide range of looks, and with work, I think they can dramatically improve their looks. But among men, most of us fall in the "average" range. Only a few go beyond "average" or drop below average. Those few who are above average have it made, but those guys within the average range need to make ourselves stand out from the crowd one way or another. This is usually done by what most people refer to as "personality" or "confidence."

My female friends tell me that looks don't matter much, and that women prefer personality. Essentially what they're saying is that I look average, but my personality needs improvement.


----------



## Stargirl09

Most people with s.a on YouTube are good looking. I think I'm average but I do wear alot of make-up day to day and take alot with me where ever I go. I look in any available mirror, most reflective surfaces if I possibly can without being seen or thought of as vain. It's insecurity. I make sure I look 'right' before I go out but I never feel any more confident.


----------



## Lumiere

Yes, I really dislike my appearance.


----------



## kakashisensei

felula said:


> I have never once been called pretty but I have been called fat / ugly so many times I lost count :/ I'm the girl that gets all the negative attention when I walk into a room and it makes me want to cry. I don't get why people are so self-centered and judgemental these days! I always try not to judge a person I don't know - or even a person I do know. But I guess inner beauty is outdated. Now days you have to be blond, curvy, underweight, plastic & completely horrible to others in order to be accepted!
> 
> Anyway, sorry for my little rant


Felula I can relate to you man. This was exactly me all throughout high school =(. I wish I could have gone back in time though for the both of us and told them all to get f***ed lol.:yes


----------



## eejm

I yo-yo back and forth about this. I need to lose some weight, that's a definite. I have a nice figure and good proportions, but they need some toning and evening out. I hate exercise, refuse to go to a gym (it reminds me too much of gym class as a kid, which was my personal version of hell), and live in a climate where being outside for more than 2 minutes is tough on the body at the moment. I know, these are excuses, but right now I'm just not comfortable with working out in front of people or walking in biting cold. I'm working up to both.

I have lots of curly hair, but it often is a mess because it's tough to tame. I have nice big blue eyes. But...I don't look very feminine. I never have. I'm tall and not really fat, but very solid and sturdy. I have big feet and big hands, and just big, unrefined features. While I don't want to be tiny or look like some fragile china doll, I feel like I'm just too manly to look really attractive and pretty, even though I wear make up (but not a ton) and try to wear nice clothes. I always forget to put jewelry on. 

My husband says he loves me and thinks I'm pretty, but only if I ask first. I'm beginning to think he doesn't really and only puts up with my looks because I'm a fairly low-maintenance wife. :shrug:


----------



## sociophobic

i dislike my looking, it is maybe because i am too lazy to make myself look better, but i do hate mirrors too, so yeah.


----------



## sberkley

*looks are in the eyes of the beholder .*

Even famous models have self esteem issue's , its our society that pressures us to be so shallow ..
When I freak out about how I look I try to think about those starving kids you see in pictures in other countries or I think about a person who is severely disfigured and that does help keep it in perspective .


----------



## odd_one_out

I was in love with someone not considered physically attractive. I have felt attracted to people who were old enough to be my parents/pensioners or obese; the person is what attracts me. I am highly unusual in having the visual part of my brain not connected properly to the sexual, so am incapable of being attracted by so-called good looks. If only I could accept my own body and ageing process in this way.


----------



## STKinTHEmud

eejm said:


> My husband says he loves me and thinks I'm pretty, but only if I ask first. I'm beginning to think he doesn't really and only puts up with my looks because I'm a fairly low-maintenance wife. :shrug:


I don't really understand this way of thinking. He married you and he's still married to you, so he must think you're attractive. A lot of guys I know (myself included) don't really feel the need to spontaneously compliment women on their looks when it's so obvious how good we think they look. Really, I think this applies to anyone in a long term relationship.


----------



## eejm

STKinTHEmud said:


> I don't really understand this way of thinking. He married you and he's still married to you, so he must think you're attractive. A lot of guys I know (myself included) don't really feel the need to spontaneously compliment women on their looks when it's so obvious how good we think they look. Really, I think this applies to anyone in a long term relationship.


Part of this is my insecurity, and I admit that. But I don't see how his attraction to me is "obvious" without him saying it.


----------



## hmf22

I think I'm hideous. My face is unsymmetrical, my smile makes me look retarded, I have a slouch to my shoulders that makes my body look curvy (in a weird way) and unattractive. I feel like my upper arms are huge and make me look fat.I have oily skin and a few old acne scars, and I have thin, flat hair. I'm not technically over weight, but I feel like my belly jiggles when I walk, which is disgusting. I won't go out of the house without doing my hair and makeup and dressing nice and bring makeup to freshen up with during the day, it's pathetic. I'm pathetic.


----------



## PHD in Ebonics

90% of the time, I do.

The other 10% of the time, I trick myself (or someone else does) into actually thinking I'm good looking.


----------



## epril

I am sure I am ugly. My friends tell me I'm cute and young looking. My kids say I'm beautiful. My husband has always loved the way I look. I was told once by my grandfather that I'd never get a boy if I didn't lose weight. I've never had a problem attracting men. Still, I am certain that I am ugly.


----------



## erasercrumbs

I am the ugliest person I've ever seen. It breaks my heart that so many of the people here think they're ugly, when they're really nothing of the sort. With me, though, it's not all in my head. I am truly, definitively, utterly repulsive to behold by pretty much any reasonable standard. I'm _so_ misshapen, in fact, that I'm almost an ironic piece of art, like one of those paintings created by an elephant, or a replica of the Statue of Liberty constructed out of old, rusted mufflers.


----------



## estse

I am with my bi-annual nose pimple, which I have to currently tolerate.


----------



## GrimedMechanic86

I don't care if people view me as ugly or whatever anymore. I am who I am and if people have a problem with that, they can either meet my fists or jump off a cliff.


----------



## mechuga

I have a big nose. It used to bother me a lot, and I used to obsess over it when I was around guys but not so much anymore. Other than that, I have my good days and my bad days :]


----------



## Cerberus

No. I'm average. I don't stand out much one way or the other.


----------



## daxio

Yes ! I really have problems with that and I feel really uncomfortable in places with alot of girls, especially in my age.


----------



## BLK13

No.


----------



## 1applehearts1

yeah a lot of times i feel ugly. im always comparing myself. :/ a lot of times really pretty girls get treated a lot better, which bothers me., i guess its human nature. i have my good days where i feel i look decent. its a big part of why i look down a lot and dont make eye contact.


----------



## STKinTHEmud

eejm said:


> Part of this is my insecurity, and I admit that. But I don't see how his attraction to me is "obvious" without him saying it.


Perhaps it's just obvious from my perspective as a man. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with a woman who I didn't find physically attractive. I would guess that most men, if not all, feel the same way.


----------



## organicwildroot

I don't know if I'm ugly but sometimes I wake up and look like ****.


----------



## citizenerased1987

Yes, 
but i'm ok with that because I am trying to accept myself


----------



## huh

Sometimes I think I am, other times not. I'm probably just average looking.


----------



## userabuser

id say im a mixed bag of good looking and ugly.


----------



## leonardess

I think I'm okay.


----------



## kzhan90n

I look ugly, and much more older than my age. 
When people hear my age, they all have shocking faces.
Sometimes I think that I'm pretty and attractive, just to make myself feel better.


----------



## Kim Ung-yong

I don't think I'm ugly but I'm not good looking either. I'm 27 years old, 6'2" 300+ lbs and I have the face of a serial killer. My regular facial expression looks mean to most people. This one time, as I was walking down an isle in Wal-mart, there was a lady at the other end and she had a baby in her kart... When she saw me coming her way, she panicked. She looked as if she wanted to scream or get the hell out of there asap but she didn't. She quickly regained her composure and tried to ignore me as I casually strolled past her with my kart.... Worst feeling ever.


----------



## gonextomorrow

I think I'm pretty average, though sometimes I want to wear a paper bag over my head. I can find a millions things wrong with me sometimes. I'm not Quasimodo, but I am far from pretty. The most I ever get called is "cute" unless someone is trying to cheer me up. I know cute can be a compliment, but I attribute it to the fact that everyone thinks I look 14 or 15 instead of 18 soon to be 19. 

I just found the pictures thread. Big mistake. There's over 600 pages, but the few I looked through at the end are filled with beautiful/handsome people.


----------



## Purpley

Yes. Not that it should be an indicator of how I feel about myself, but I've never been complimented about my looks outside of my family. And I figure they're my family, they have to say nice things to me...
But I'm trying to maintain the feeling that I'm okay with my ugliness, and that the only person's opinion on my looks that I should worry about, after all, is mine


----------



## Crystalline

I loathe how I look honestly...in a camera recording or in a photo. It's pretty rare that I look good in pics. And I'd never cam because of this.


----------



## imt

Sometimes I think I'm ugly other times I think I'm just average or decent looking, but still freaky. Either way, having a low self esteem forces me to embrace solitude and not deal with people at all. Not being able to pick up on social cues doesn't really help the situation either, since I feel threatened by everyone one who stare at me too long, or by certain gestures people make.


----------



## coeur_brise

I've always "felt" ugly though I have no idea whether I really am or not, it's just my confidence that is really low.


----------



## Ayven

I'm not attractive at all. I feel the same as I did when I weighed 50+. Disgusting. And fat and awkward. :blank


----------



## stitchdoll

Zephyr said:


> I can't look at mirrors either. They're evil.


agreed. they're evil ..

ahh .. at times i feel that I'm ugly and i can't look someone in the eyes .. i feel that they are judging me .. saying that "aww .. this person is ugly" .. so i hardly look someone in the eye .. i always look away and it makes some people feeling weird about me ..


----------



## Atari82

I think im quite ugly sometimes but the main reason is that i look to innocent to which makes people have an advantage over me


----------



## Benji90

I see myself quite ugly compared to all my friends, its probably the reason why I cant get a gf whereas my mates have a different one every week!
Bought some rather nice clothes today which will hopefully make me more attractive to the ladies


----------



## Pet

Yes. I don't take pictures at all, videos, or look in the mirror often because of this. Sometimes I over-look in the mirror though when I try to analyze my face. I am currently saving up for a nose job, and when I have a job when I'm older, I will get more plastic surgeries.


----------



## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin

Sometimes, I think it's a universal feeling. Looks are overated anyway.


----------



## blahgman

I've never thought I looked good, maybe not "ugly" but nothing special. But I've always loved my eyes for some reason


----------



## IWrite

I don't think I look too bad. Could stand to lose a few pounds though.


----------



## secretlyshecries

More than anything I hate myself for the way I look. I know it's useless thinking about things like this but I'm always thinking, if only I hadn't have stayed up so many nights when I was younger and gotten the permanent wrinkles under my eyes, if only I wasn't so scared of going to the hairdresser, than I wouldn't have to cut my own hair and **** it up all the time, if only I wasn't terrified of facing up and going to the dentist, if only I wasn't so afraid of being myself and wearing what I want to wear. Lately I've been imagining how I'd look if I were a 'normal' person without SA and I think I could've had the potential to be really pretty and regular looking. Instead I feel like I have no style a lot of the time now because I'm too scared to wear anything that looks even slightly different looking, and my hair is nearly always awkward looking. I've also been noticing that most people my age seem to have perfectly straight, white teeth. Mine aren't noticeably bad (I don't think?) but they're not perfectly white, they're not particularly straight, and I think I ignore any problems there as much as I can. Basically I just don't like the way I look at all.


----------



## dax

stitchdoll said:


> agreed. they're evil ..
> 
> ahh .. at times i feel that I'm ugly and i can't look someone in the eyes .. i feel that they are judging me .. saying that "aww .. this person is ugly" .. so i hardly look someone in the eye .. i always look away and it makes some people feeling weird about me ..


I kind of do this same thing. It makes people thing I'm weird. And their right.


----------



## zendog78

Oh my god, I can't believe what I am reading in this thread. The old saying that beauty comes from within is true. I used to be superficial and look for classically good looks from my partner, but I always ended up in crap relationships.
People find other people attractive for all kinds of reasons, in particular, even someone very plain might remind someone very hot about someone special in their lives, there is much to be said for that factor in attractivness.
Make the most of what you have got. Dress well, be kind, have stuff going on in your life that makes you not a total bore to talk to and your laughing


----------



## kanarazu

I guess I am a bit different...but I think I am really really sexy...I just don't think anyone else would ever agree with me...haha


----------



## CreamCheese

I've been told I'm ugly four times in my life-directly and indrectly. The thing is, I don't think I'm that bad looking. I just think I could better myself up if I really tried. The problem is I don't spend enough time trying and when I do, things don't usually come out good. 

I always ask myself if I'll make more friends if I looked better. Sometimes I think if I was really pretty, people would approach me. I'm not talking relationship wise-but even friend wise. I noticed that, in my senior year, this one girl moved and she made a lot more friends than I did in two years. I think she dressed nicer than me and looked way more prettier, so I don't know, sometimes I think that gives people "credibility" about a person, like they're normal or something.


----------



## Aaronology

Only when I'm not groomed do I feel down about my appearance. The problem is that I hate going to the barber. I hate small-talking and that's all that goes on there. Even as I write this my hair is on the verge of becoming a mini-fro and while I've cut it in the past it never turns out very well. The more hair I have on my head the worse I feel I look and consequently the worse I feel.

My barbershop avoidance is something I've dealt with for ages but I just recently had a surprise photo taken of me at work, blown up and then posted on a wall that _everyone_ will see everyday for the rest of the year. It's made me ridiculously uncomfortable to the point of being funny. Which is good, as my only recourse is just to laugh and force myself to realize it's just not worth stressing out over. I would like to be someone who can accept looking unattractive without feeling bad about it.


----------



## Manfi

Everybody here is being crazy! The easiest way to hurt someone is to comment on their looks, their body etc... Specially when you have low confidence. People can sense those kind of things and they hit you where it hurts. Imagine Brad Pit as a shy and skinny guy with bad hair! People will call him ugly, trust me. CONFIDENCE is the most impt thing. I know it's hard (trust me I know) but block all that depressing **** and set some goals. If you're skinny or over weight try to change that. After you fix that you can focus on your hair and wardrobe etc...
You're a different person when you have confidence. There is no such a thing as ugly. 
btw, I've seen people's pics here and EVERY SINGLE person is good looking.


----------



## mysterioussoul

i go back and forth on my perception of my appearance. i know that i'm better looking now compared to how i was a couple years ago, but sometimes i feel really ugly. i've finally accepted the way i look though which is why i'm more easy on myself and more positive about the future. 
sometimes i contradict myself though because even though i like looking different but sometimes i just want to look like those generic girls with long hair. it'll make life a lot easier though.

i'm still conscious though. i'm very conscious of my hair and my facial expressions. i suit short hair and when my hair grows out i start to look awkward but i'm afraid to go to the hairdresser. when i need to get a haircut i go to my mums' friends who are hairdressers and they work at home and i always go with my mum and usually at night so when i go home no one can see me.

i'm conscious of my eyes looking tired and my hair being messy because it's hard to tame. i'm scared of walking in strong winds without a hat because if my bangs are part differently it'll throw off my whole look. i know this sounds ridiculous but that is the main reason why i'm hesitant in looking for work, in case i have to walk anywhere far in the wind to get to work.

i'm a little obsessive over clothes these days. not just because i like clothes but because i feel like if i dress better and more andro that i'll be better accepted and maybe i can attract girls.

i worry more about my body shape and weight now. i wasn't fat before just chubby and now that i'm slimmer i want to keep it this way and i constantly worry about what i eat and afraid of getting fat.

i feel worse about myself when i have to take photos because i'm not photogenic and always look distorted. i avoid taking photos as much as i can and hate it when people force me to.

i know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder so i have hope that maybe one of these days a girl might be attracted to me.

sorry for the long post but i have to get it out there. i feel lighter now.


----------



## jim_morrison

Sometimes I guess, but moreso back in highschool when I was that 'shy weird skinny pale guy'. These days it doesn't bother me all that much, chiefly I guess because it doesn't make a huge difference to my life either way, and also because I suspect that even if I did somehow manage to become some kind of stud one day, I suspect that it would just be one more thing for me to be depressed about in the 'things in life that I'm missing out on/sabotaging myself in due to my SA' category.


----------



## Georgina 22

No, I do not think I am ugly. I think I have nice eyes and skin, nails and I like my hair. I have other parts of my body that I don't like and can't change, but I look for other best features instead. 
I can't say I am ugly, either am I the most beautiful girl in the world. there are probably other people out there who are worse off though. 
People will just have to accept me for who I am, if they don't like me.


----------



## msa

No I think I am attractive, but feel as if my personality comes off ugly:afr


----------



## Grapes12345

I used to be considered attractive when I was younger, but now I have put on weight and as another poster said, fat is unforgivable in our society. So, yes, I feel ugly. Sometimes I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror or a glass and I wonder, "who is that fat, ugly person?" Then I realize it's me and I feel so ashamed and downhearted.


----------



## Szumua

Sometimes I can convince myself that the world would be a much better place if I just stayed at home so that other people wouldn't have to see me. Which is sooo silly, because I know I can't stay at home for the rest of my life... so I just have to walk through our front door and act like everything is normal.


----------



## EunieLuv

I don't think I'm pretty...but I don't think I'm ugly either...I htink I'm just here really...


----------



## xyzhousexyz

I do not think I'm ugly at all. Could stand to loose some weight but thats another issue. I like beer


----------



## Frequency

lostwitness said:


> Does anyone else think that they're ugly, and do you believe that this belief holds you back?


Well, I'm fat, and Fat = Ugly for most people.
Does it hold me back? No, I don't think my SA is related to my weight problem. Probably the other way around, really.


----------



## Mr_nobody

I wouldn't necessarily say that I'm ugly- just goofy-looking. There was a time when I really thought I was ugly because every time I would pass by a group of girls they would look at me one at a time and then once I got past them they would all go "Eeeewwwww" (sometimes very loudly).


----------



## Cyrus

Not at all, I'd say I'm decent looking, I don't really have any issues when it comes to my facial looks.


----------



## defoe

at the moment i am ugly, but im sure i can look better


----------



## naataliee

Yes I think I am ugly and yes it holds me back.


----------



## g0t Anxiety

beauty is in the eye of the beholder... i think i need my eyes checked


----------



## Deathinmusic

No I don't. I think I look alright. I have in the past months started gained an understanding that I am in fact not bad looking at all. Positive change, peeps, eh? It is possible after all.


----------



## shaqman

I'm an attractive guy, and I am in shape with a six pack. But I really have a confidence issue. I believe that being ugly or cute should not effect our lives, so no matter what, we must love our selves. For me, the most influential person in my life is myself.


----------



## ScorpioGirl

No.


----------



## silentcliche

It's horrible to say this but sometimes I think my ethnicity makes me feel ugly.


----------



## Pumpkin Pie

lostwitness said:


> Every day when I look in the mirror I'm disgusted. Sometimes I think I wouldn't even be going through this if I was good looking my whole life.
> 
> Does anyone else think that they're ugly, and do you believe that this belief holds you back?


Sorry that you feel ugly, you probably aren't. I get called ugly alot, even by random people. I really don't know why because I try my best to look presentable and professional. I think people calling me ugly does hold me back and is the root of my anxiety. I constantly fear that someone will call me ugly when I'm in social settings because it has happened many times before. I don't see ugly when I look in the mirror, I think I look average. I am going to therapy/counseling soon to get some help and to find ways to not care what others think.


----------



## SummerShine

I'm a little weird. Sometimes I'm ugly and sometimes I'm pretty. All I know is that I work/talk way better when I feel pretty  so I guess my belief of my ugliness does hold me back.


----------



## Mister Mxyzptlk

Well, based on my experiences with girls and their opinions i can safely say that yes i'm not a good looking person. I myself think i'm ugly, that's why i never bother to check myself on the mirror everytime i'm done bathing.


----------



## secretlyshecries

Sometimes. I never really think 'ugly' anymore, but sometimes I just think I'm unpleasant looking I guess, lol. I've realised that I'm pretty hard on myself though and that even if others think I don't look very good, chances are they're nowhere _near_ as critical as I am of myself.


----------



## Pr0n

No. Maybe a few extra pounds, but I don't care about my looks that much. 

It's my personality that repels everyone.


----------



## jollybeans

hey thinking your ugly is never good but if you do just say eff it and move on. dont neglect yourself even more just because you think your unattractive to other people. love yourself for you. i dont thinnk im atrractivw but i take care of myself as well as i can. I buy nice clothes,I drink water, i work out.


----------



## RobAlister

I think I am average looking but a lot of times I do think that I am ugly. Yet another reason why life sucks.


----------



## Crystalline

I can't really stand looking in a mirror for prolonged periods or at photographs of myself, which always look ugly to me. As I say jokingly to people I think I look decent in only 1/10...or 1/20 photos. Understandably it's only these that I post.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

lostwitness said:


> Every day when I look in the mirror I'm disgusted. Sometimes I think I wouldn't even be going through this if I was good looking my whole life.
> 
> Does anyone else think that they're ugly, and do you believe that this belief holds you back?


When I was younger, I had friends tell me that I was ugly. Ha ha, with friends like those... Ahhhh well, my looks have changed a lot over the years. There are two major things that make me feel insecure about my appearance, and I'm working on them. Yes, they very much hold me back. Aside from those, though, I think I'm kinda cute in my own way.

I can't believe I typed that. It makes me feel narcissistic. But here goes, I'm posting it... *click*


----------



## Cepp

Yeah, pretty much.


----------



## Konillaking

I used to think I was ugly my entire childhood but in the last few years I realized I'm really fairly good looking. I always hated myself and wished I could just become someone else. Well I still hate myself, but It's not because of how I look at least.


----------



## heyJude

I don't think I'm ugly, just average. I do hate the way I look in most photographs and get really depressed every time I have to look at myself in one. A couple of weeks ago, my aunt MADE me pose for some photographs...told me I could become a model/actress. She made me do these really awkward/goofy poses. Oh god. My aunts LOVED the photos but I cried in secret when I saw the pictures.


----------



## miminka

Nah... that's kind of a waste of time.


----------



## lanzman

look up the word in the dictionary and you'll probably find my picture.


----------



## ThisGuy

Having been an acne sufferer for a number of years, I don't think I'll ever give myself the benefit of the doubt in the looks category. Sometimes I can be overly obsessed with the way I look (haha) in photos, so I normally take pictures when I'm alone and they're rarely ever exposed. Recently, I finally posted a profile pic of myself on FB. I signed up for FB a couple years ago, but I've really only used it for a year. I spent the majority of the time looking at friend's profiles, because I was too afraid to put up anything personal of my own. Now, my picture's finally up, and the fear hasn't gone away, so I'll often take a break from FB, surf the web, and come back around to it later, haha.

On a scale from one to ten, generally, I'm probably closer to the end with smaller numbers


----------



## james25

yes


----------



## toughcookie

Oh boy, the answer to this could take hours for me but in short, yes and no. Mostly yes.

Once in awhile I think I'm pretty, but most of the time I think I'm hideous. The only part of my body that I don't dispise is my ears (ok so that would be two parts of my body lol). Everything else, I hate


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

I'm ugly, but it's something I can't help. So I learned to live with it.


----------



## bazinga

i think I am more hopeless than ugly, but I do have ugly in me.


----------



## Nathalest

It varies wildly based on both the day, what I'm wearing, and even the weather (hah). I think I'm too short but otherwise I think I'm average.


----------



## Falcons84

Most of the time yes


----------



## MissMay1977

no but I would rather be ugly and be socially active.


----------



## UltraShy

You can check my profile and decide for yourself.

I don't think I'm ugly. I'm just nothing special. I'm a ordinary chubby guy pushing middle age.


----------



## strawberryjulius

I probably won't be making anyone blind or breaking any mirrors any time soon. I just think I'm plain and it doesn't bother me much any more. I accept that some people will find me super duper sexy and others won't. :b


----------



## ZeroX4

bazinga said:


> i think I am more hopeless than ugly, but I do have ugly in me.


^Same here. I feel like inability to get out of this mindset is what really makes me ugly. I don't know what I am, honestly. I often feel like I'm ok, other days I feel ugly, and other days I just feel...stupid.

I just feel so many have an advantage over me, so it doesn't matter how I look. Dunno.


----------



## BetaBoy90

I am the heat and if you don't agree with me your eyes are broken


----------



## xstrongandsilentx

I thinkg I'm ugly but here's there tricky part, I think my twin bro is good looking. I know it might not make sense but It's just how I feel


----------



## flyinginside

Yes, I do think I am ugly. In fact, my negative feelings about my appearance are largely responsible for my anxiety. I don't know if I would feel this way if I hadn't been called ugly a lot when I was younger.


----------



## Leary88

Yeah, I do. At least odd looking, lol.

I've only recently started sharing my picture with people I've talked to online. They best compliment I get is, "You look normal" or "You look like an average guy" which on some level I think is a polite way of saying, "You're ugly but not a monster" or something. But I'm way too self conscious and suspicious of all compliments anyway so...


----------



## Brightpaperwarewolf

I think I'm ugly even though I know I'm not. I'm a pretty good looking dude, but it's never good enough. I look at myself sometimes and I think to myself how disgusting I look.


----------



## matty

I do, Sometimes I like how I look but then I see a photo or a reflection and I hate myself. I could pin point a 100 issues as to why I am ugly. I have pretty bad body issues, and it stuffs my confidence. 

I thought I was looking ok a couple of weeks ago, then I saw a picture and I was gutted. Just screwed up my thoughts on myself.


----------



## Family Guy

I wouldn't use the term 'ugly' because I don't think I'm terrible looking, but I'm certainly not good looking either. I think I just look 'blah' lol.

I feel more ugly some days and feel okay looking other days though. Depends if I feel depressed.

Overall I think I look 'blah'.


----------



## Angeletti

I've always been confident and happy with my looks, and I know it sounds shallow but sometimes I feel like my looks help me cope with things better... now if only I could be content with other things : )


----------



## shynesshellasucks

Yes I think I am. Certain characteristics about my appearance keeps me feeling really self-conscious of how I look.


----------



## jessckuh

hell yeah, I think I'm ugly. Ppl say I'm not but not the jock, the girl with all the friends, the kids that go to all the parties or the guy in my writing club I really like. I don't know what to believe. Days I felt like I had really done myself up and was looking pretty nice ppl at school just killed all that. I too feel like this is what made me get SA in the first place.


----------



## skittz

i cant even look at myself in the mirror plus having acne makes it a whole lot worse


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

I have come to terms with my appearance.

I just wish I was thinner. I have a fat face.


----------



## Popularity

Nah I'm fine with my looks even though they're not impressive


----------



## Family Guy

Ugly is a strong word. I do think I'm not that attractive, but I wouldn't consider myself ugly. Not to mention I hate looking at myself in the mirror.


----------



## MoniqueS

I actually feel quite content with my face, my body is the source of most of my image issues. But good for you for having that confidence! Thats where I aim to be.


----------



## crystaltears

I don't think I am ugly, but there are things that I'd like to change about myself.


----------



## voospenvi2734

I don't know if I'm ugly or not. I've been told that I'm hot, and I've also been told I'm ugly. So I don't really know what to think. But honestly, I don't care either way. Honestly! The type of girls I want to attract, the ones I want to be with and love forever, won't care about how I look.  I realized with my last lover that, literally, they could be the most ugly, atrocious looking creature on the face of the earth, and that would only make me happier because there would be less competition for me <3. Haha, but I didn't have to worry about that either. She was amazingly, stunningly beautiful. Inside and out. I make the people I fall in love with beautiful, in my own eyes. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Jeez I am in an emotional state tonight!


----------



## Jess32247

Yeah, I think I'm ugly


----------



## OpiodArmor

No I'm not. I'm handsome besides for a few flaws like a receding hairline (Not that bad) and short height. (Only 5'6-7)

All in all very content with how I look, especially naked ;D


----------



## laura024

Ugly on the inside.


----------



## nycdude

Yes, i hate having these stretchmarks. But no one in my entire life has called me ugly.


----------



## DarkCloud

I'm not ugly. I wish I was more muscular though. This is an imperfect world filled with imperfect people. Some people who are not ugly, may find themselves correcting their appearances through surgery.

Being ugly may refer to your facial features, your skin, your hair, fashion sense, etc. Your weight is also a huge factor as well. 

Let's be real, ugly people can still have relationships, but they will have standards. Ask an ugly person for an physical description of the person they want to be with. I bet that they will answer, with someone that looks better then them.


----------



## Eia Au

I'm not ugly but my personality makes me sexually unattractive.


----------



## Seth26

Nah I ain't ugly. As long as I brush my two teeth and rotate my dirty underwear every few days I smell pretty good too. The other day this really hot girl smiled at me, I felt like Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise if he was a ginger.


----------



## au Lait

Yeeep


----------



## Devdas

I'm the most handsome guy in this forum :boogie


----------



## IcemanKilmer

No, I don't consider myself ugly.


----------



## mysterioussoul

i guess i would be classify ugly to the media and society's standards but i like - no - love the way i look now.

i used to be extremely awkward looking and yes ugly when i was younger but i've changed and improved over the years. i take care to eat right and exercise which leads me to looking and feeling better. i'm quite satisfied with my overall look now, but i still fear people judging me for the way i look though. scars left from childhood.


----------



## modus

Like many of you, sometimes I think I look pretty good.. other times I'm disgusted. It's totally random.

One thing I do know is that I have pretty distinctive features. My eyes are big and deep-set and I've always been told they have this puppy-dog look. I agree.. and I like having something notable about my looks.


----------



## Durzo

I dont think, I know lol


----------



## InfiniteBlaze

Yeah I do. I hate looking at mirrors now. My nose has gotten out of control. I may have to resort to plastic surgery.


----------



## notna

I'm not sure.

How do you even find out :\


----------



## rainbowOne

Sometimes I wake up and look in the mirror and I look so ugly its unbelievable.
Other times I wake up and look in the mirror and I look normal. 
I dunno why :stu


----------



## BenevolentSun

I would rate myself average. I'd say 5.5/10


----------



## jkquatre

3/10 in a dark room, with a mask on...

In all seriousness, yeah, about 80-90% of the time I think I look below average. The other 10% I think I'm average.


----------



## shadow cougar

I see myself as ugly because that's the way I feel everyone else has regarded me based on my experiences so I've just accepted the fact that I must be ugly and get on with my life.


----------



## nbtxdude

I'm disgusted with myself on so many levels... Appearance being toward the top of the list...


----------



## SHYGIRLAJB

I am so ugly............


----------



## JustWakeUp

I think I'm ugly but that's just my negative thinking. I would say, I'm average looking. However, I am working on my appearance and trying to tone up. Given more time, I will hope to look my best.


----------



## Jessie203

I sometimes think I am ugly. Most of the time I just think I'm average though. And on some good days I call myself pretty.


----------



## stranger25

I think I'm average. Women think I'm the elephant man.


----------



## Kennnie

Sometimes


----------



## JupiterStarr

Yes, growing up I was called ugly a lot and I was also recently called ugly on another website. I try to fix myself up with makeup and never leave the house without it but I still think I look like a monster.


----------



## plane123

yes


----------



## Scrub-Zero

I'm super ugly.


----------



## JupiterStarr

I don't understand people who think they're ugly despite never being called ugly. Why? If a person hasn't grown up being called ugly and is often called beautiful why would they feel this way? I don't understand this.

I think some people purposely call themselves ugly just to fish for compliments.


----------



## Rixy

I sure do. I'm trying to work on my self esteem and appearance though.


----------



## Genetic Garbage

No. Just average.


----------



## layitontheline

Very.


----------



## Mr Blues

layitontheline said:


> Very.


You couldn't be more wrong.. 
:no


----------



## Rocklee96

No, just average.


----------



## Monroee

I think I'm around average. Perhaps slightly above average in certain aspects. But overall, I learned to accept the true reality. I'm no Angelina Jolie, but I'm definitely NOT ugly. CBT helped me realize the reality of the situation & my distorted thinking.


----------



## coldsorehighlighter

Usually. On a scale of 1 to 100, I'd put myself at 60. If I lost about 20 pounds, I might bump that up to a 75.


----------



## tutliputli

Monroee said:


> I think I'm around average. Perhaps slightly above average in certain aspects. But overall, I learned to accept the true reality. I'm no Angelina Jolie, but I'm definitely NOT ugly. CBT helped me realize the reality of the situation & my distorted thinking.





not a real gem said:


> Average and ok with it :yay


I think you two are both very beautiful. Definitely not just 'average'.

For me, it always varies. I'd be happy just to feel something consistent about my appearance instead of going from one extreme to the other.


----------



## Revenwyn

On a scale of 1 to 10 I would place myself at a 1.2


----------



## PeakOfTheMountain

There's a lot about my features that I don't like, but I'd say I'm average.


----------



## blc1

According to the impossible standards I set for myself, yes, but according to reasonable standards, no.


----------



## Deathinmusic

I look pretty bad, yes. Mediocre at the very best.


----------



## lucyinthesky

Inside, I'd say no. I guess that's all that really matters. Well, what my attempts to think positively and escape BDD make me say  I think you can only be ugly if you're a horrible person.


----------



## ripsta99

nah I don't think I am ugly, maybe others do?? but that's their opinions


----------



## catalinahx

Yes. I just recently got my front wisdom teeth pulled. I've had them for YEARS. Now my nose feels deformed and I'm even more self conscious--great.


----------



## artandis

Face is alright, body is horrendous. :blank


----------



## sdmk

I'd like to think that I am average looking. But definitely not ugly.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

artandis said:


> Face is alright, body is horrendous. :blank


Same here.


----------



## rctriplefresh5

I personally do not view myself as ugly when i look at mirrors or pics....but society views me as ugly. in school i was always called ugly...and no girl has ever shown interest in me


----------



## Freiheit

I think I'm average if I wear make-up, but my personality might make me come off as ugly because I'm aloof and come across as snobby.


----------



## Hello22

Overall im fairly average. most days i feel unattractive, and it definitely shows. i can look very rough though, so yes i do think i'm reasonably ugly!


----------



## CopadoMexicano

MavenMI6Agent009 said:


> yes


 I feel ugly because of low self esteem. I dont see how someone psychotic or hysterical can be sexy..:duck


----------



## ThisGuy

The majority of the time, yes.


----------



## Aphexfan

once in a blue moon I think i look ok...but mostly I dont really like the way I look most of the time :no


----------



## Losm

Average I think. Sometimes I feel hideous but I suppose that's due to low self-esteem... unless I really do look like a monster  I'd like to think not though. I know I'm not particularly pretty though, but ah well can't do anything about it!


----------



## Fantas Eyes

I've been told I'm cute enough times that I'm starting to believe it.


----------



## InfiniteBlaze

JupiterStarr said:


> I don't understand people who think they're ugly despite never being called ugly. Why? If a person hasn't grown up being called ugly and is often called beautiful why would they feel this way? I don't understand this.
> 
> I think some people purposely call themselves ugly just to fish for compliments.


I've been called ugly a couple of times at school...I compared my looks to the attractive guys at my school and came to the conclusion that they were right.


----------



## LifeGoesOn

Aphexfan said:


> once in a blue moon I think i look ok...but mostly I dont really like the way I look most of the time :no


:eek But you're a cutie... :yes :b


----------



## DarkCloud

chic_canadian_gurl said:


> I'm ugly. I've had numerous people tell me so over the years and I get called ugly randomly at least once a week.


You in high school? I don't even think it's normal living in Canada, and some random ***, whose an adult... will call you ugly... In high school it's different, some teenagers are ignorant and would probably do something like that...


----------



## Shooterrr

Often.


----------



## GunnyHighway

My dad says "you're ugly, but it's okay because I'm ugly." Doesn't help with the fact that I know I'm far below average due to weight. 

I've had two people here say I'm cute but neither of them talk to me anymore so idunno.


----------



## SolaceChaser

I used to think so, but I realized that it was one of my buddies just bringing me down. Girls think I'm good looking, but everytime I hung around with this guy he would make a comment on my nose or hair or whatever. I didn't care for it much in the beginning, but it starts to mess with your mind when it's done repeatedly. I'm not so close with him anymore and guess what? I think I'm absolutely fine. 

If you have friends like that I suggest you cut them loose... Better to have no friends than to have a parasite.


----------



## naataliee

Yes, I do. And it does hold me back a lot.


----------



## Oscar7

I don't know. Some days I think I look pretty attractive or cute, but then there's days I think I look too skinny or awkward or just not good enough. =/ It's 50/50. I compare myself to a lot of other guys looks-wise, too. That probably doesn't help....


----------



## scorpio26

very, if I do end up getting a compliment it usually makes me very angry or embarrassed...I always think 'how can they think I'm attractive at all? they must have a bad taste in women' or I just think they are making fun of me


----------



## heroin

Some days, yeah.


----------



## soaringhigh

Once again "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" so what we say about ourselves is definitely subjective and people may think otherwise. But then again, you can never really please everybody so the best thing is to improve how you look at yourself, beauty too can shine from within, I know of so many people who can pass up for good looks for fail so miserably in many ways that no one wants to be with them and still some who are as you say ugly but they draw people like magnet because of their positive aura. 
And to answer your question, no I am not ugly. There are days when I don't feel great but I never tell myself that I am ugly.


----------



## bigboi

I am ugly in and out. I've been called ugly a few times. My personality sucks. I can't communicate with anyone.


----------



## Hamtown

When i was a kid i was bullied about my appearance alot by family and people at school so i thought i was ugly.I believe i'm good looking now, but i can feel insecure if i think i look skinny.


----------



## feels

Not ugly, but not very impressive either. Just plain.


----------



## theandrew

"Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?"


----------



## Mae West

No, not at all.


----------



## tropic

No, I think I'm average.


----------



## Makaveli

I make brad Pitt think he looks like Oscar the grouch.

Then I wake up...


----------



## imogen

not ugly, just average.


----------



## FTD204

The people who say "beauty is on the inside," are the most insecure, I know cuz thats me. I wake up every morning and look in my full body mirror, and just don't want to believe my eyes. I always feel so fat all the time. To the point where last summer I starved myself for weeks at a time, I lost over 60 pounds, wake up everyday and still see the same person I did. The fat unattractive one. It's so hard to walk out my door with confidence. Of course it holds us back. If I knew I was good looking, I would go talk to socialize, but I'm just so terrified of being rejected or have people laugh and talk bad about me. I'm reminded everyday by friends and family that I'm not even fat, that I'm really skinny but my mind is just so warped to believe I'm fat and ugly. Once you convince yourself that you're not ugly, or fat, or whatever you are insecure about, you'll have no problem... Most people with social anxiety and/or depression are so intelligent, beautiful, kind and accepting. The world can be judgmental, but not everyone is, and right now the only person who thinks you are ugly, is yourself. Don't hold yourself back, just remind yourself you're beautiful, kind and confident, and do what you want to do.


----------



## John Beckert

Like a number of others have said, my confidence in my image changes... Some days I think that I look good, while other days I can't seem to look at myself in the mirror. Acne and the way that it cycles--some days are worse than others--did not help either.


----------



## BKrakow

only on the inside.


----------



## limonlemon

yes, all the time. you aren't alone. I feel that it is a barrier between me and and the world and I can't ever get close to anyone bc I am so insecure. The only time I get compliments is when I layer on make up. But if that's me on the outside, I feel 100 times uglier on the inside.


----------



## hearts that kill

When I was younger I had frizzy hair, crooked teeth, wore glasses, and had no curves. I would get called ugly, people would say that I was too pale, that I shouldn't smile because my teeth were ugly, guys never looked at me, etc. 

When I got to high school I discovered a hair straightener, got braces, started wearing contacts, and got curvy and grew a D cup overnight. All of a sudden people started calling me "beautiful", "gorgeous", etc. It felt nice being complimented, but I was still the same girl that had been called 'ugly' in the past, it's sad that changes in my appearance was what it took for people to say that I was attractive. So even though people tell me I'm attractive, and although I do have confidence that I'm decent looking, I still have those scars of being called terrible names when I was younger, and I feel like those memories will always keep me feelings like somehow I'm still 'ugly'.


----------



## Godless1

Nah, I'll concede that I'm a good looking dude. That's what it is too, a concession. I don't have enough confidence to say it any other way, but I can't really deny it. It doesn't matter though, because, the way I choose to live, physical appearance has no bearing on me. Hopefully it will help me get a job though :b.


----------



## ruinMYlife

i have some pretty minor and major skin problems that are really ****ing me up right now, if i could get those fixed then i would say im OK but ****!!!!


----------



## sben

Yes...  

I've gotten too fat and unkempt to show my face.


----------



## SHYGIRLUV

Idk i think im ok but i think sumtimes im not or tht ppl just trying to be nice.


----------



## wootmehver

I'm beautifugly.


----------



## dominicwalli

SHYGIRLUV said:


> Idk i think im ok but i think sumtimes im not or tht ppl just trying to be nice.


 well your not OK...definitly not....ur beautyfull,just liek almost all the ppl in thsi stupid thread,they just have to find their style,most of the times its the clothes and the haircutO_O,and if u dont like ur body u can always go to the gym.


----------



## Pialicious88

when i was a kid/teen i was bigger and i had really bad acne i remember people would always ignore me and the fact i wasnt good a conversations didnt help either then i lost the weight the acne and guys started calling me hot and all that and actually noticed me, it was weird cuz i never thought of myself as hot or sexy or whatever, im not comfortable with my body at all so i always wear baggy clothes, i still feel like a socially retarded chubby teen.


----------



## Maji

A xouple weeks ago at the store, this heavy mexican lady called me "really hot". I didn't know how to take it so I just sais thanks and walk away. I never get comments like that. Never get called ugly to my face neither. I think they were drunk.


----------



## dominicwalli

Pialicious88 said:


> when i was a kid/teen i was bigger and i had really bad acne i remember people would always ignore me and the fact i wasnt good a conversations didnt help either then i lost the weight the acne and guys started calling me hot and all that and actually noticed me, it was weird cuz i never thought of myself as hot or sexy or whatever, im not comfortable with my body at all so i always wear baggy clothes, i still feel like a socially retarded chubby teen.


 lol..change the baggy clothe for some really feminine dresses and u will make em droolO_O,the secret weapon of gals are their legs and they dotn know it lol,a skirt can conquer the world.


----------



## Pialicious88

Maji said:


> *A xouple weeks ago at the store, this heavy mexican lady called me "really hot".* I didn't know how to take it so I just sais thanks and walk away. I never get comments like that. Never get called ugly to my face neither. I think they were drunk.


looooool


----------



## seriouskid

I think I'm really ugly and fat. I haven't looked at my naked body in years and avoid looking at my reflection as much as I can get away with. 

I think my face is pretty ugly, my nose is huge. Whenever people look at me in the street, I always think they're looking at how disgusting I look. 
I don't hate myself, I'm disgusted at myself.

I don't admit this to people in real life (incl. my psychiatrist & therapist) because I think that they will confirm that I'm right or lie to me and say I don't look ugly.
I think that people who compliment me are either lying or have particularly low standards.

I haven't always thought this, I remember how good looking I thought my body was as a teenager: I was going through a very short-lived period of a healthy level of self-esteem.


----------



## CrimsonTrigger

Yes


----------



## Kennnie

im a monster!!!


----------



## mastershake

I feel pretty.


----------



## modus

i'm the most beautiful flower in all of Equestria...


----------



## drewpee

no it wouldnt i assure you...im physically attractive not saying that to be vain but people tell me all the time i could be a model and such but you know what im still effing miserable as you prolly are. so looks aint everything


----------



## Colton

My female family members say I'm good looking, but I've had one or two girls at school call me ugly to my face. And I overheard one girl say that I look like a "freak", which really hurt.

Personally I think my nose is weird and my hair never looks the way I want it to, and I'm too tall and skinny/awkward. I would put myself at 4/10 on a good day.


----------



## Monroee

I used to think I was ugly. That was before I started wearing striped stockings & I see guys turning back their heads to stare at me when I walk by them.

- EGD.


----------



## TPower

Definitely not.


----------



## NoName99

Sometimes. But people, a happy face is infinitely more beautiful than a sad face! Smile!


----------



## Tess4u

I don't see anything special in me, I feel very blah n like just there. It's nice to hear nice compliments at times but if only I could believe them and not hate myself:/


----------



## lonely metalhead

Tess4u said:


> I don't see anything special in me, I feel very blah n like just there. It's nice to hear nice compliments at times but if only I could believe them and not hate myself:/


:hug


----------



## noyadefleur

It depends on the day. But I certainly don't think I'm anything exceptional.


----------



## bball4life

I'm not gotta say I'm ugly...we all have our flaws. Sometimes I feel confident and handsome as hell, and sometimes I just want to dig a hole and put my face in it.


----------



## bittertaste

Of course I am. My brother got all the good genes, including a good personality.


----------



## Perkins

Most of the time, yes. But then there are other times even while I have messy unkept hair and some blemishes that I think I look rather pretty and I think, Hey, you're not a complete mutant after all and a nice feeling washes over me. 

I think I have my moments where I look at least decent. But other times I feel like the Grim Reaper without the awesome stick and cape. Just scary.


----------



## Karuni

I used to think I was horrendously ugly, but now I'm trying to be a little more realistic. I'm probably actually average. However, the acne and scars on my face probably bring down the rating a lot, and it hurts my confidence. I try to use concealer when I can, but that's all the makeup I'll ever use. I'm gaining weight too, which bothers me.

I used to wear nothing but hoodies and jeans in high school, but I'm going to try to be a little more out there in college. I got a whole bunch of nice shirts and tops to wear that will hopefully make me feel a little more confident instead of hiding under a hoodie. Although sometimes I think, "Why bother dressing like the other girls and being in the competition when I'll still never be looked at because I'm not even pretty like them to begin with?"

It's a slow process accepting my appearance though. Every time I see my face in a mirror unexpectedly, it really scares me, and I hate it. I don't think I look very feminine at all.


----------



## RUFB2327

I do think I'm ugly, however, I wouldn't care as much if it weren't for the acne scars I have. Its weird, back in the day before I had acne or acne scars (only have the scars now), I never gave a sh*t or thought whether or not I was good looking, but now with the scars, I obsess over it constantly. I have trouble looking people in the eyes because I think they just analyze the scars on my face. It sucks cause there is no way you can try and spin it by saying that have indentations all over your face is in anyway slightly attractive.


----------



## therunaways

Yes, I hate the way I look.


----------



## architect

i know a lot of people here are self-conscious about their looks, and that is perfectly fine and natural. BUT, there comes a stage in your life where you looks take a back seat. you know what's more important than looks and has longer lasting value? your success as an individual. 

work hard, study hard. everything else will come with time. people respect a hard worker who has vision, and goals.


----------



## Lightinthedark

I used to feel pretty as a teenager...when guys would hit on me all the time and then I started putting on a little extra weight and they slacked of. People would always ask me if I was pregnant... . I would make them feel like asses when I replied no I'm just fat...served em right...shouldn't ask someone that! I found out I had a cyst on one of my ovaries that was the size of a grapefruit so that probably didn't help...got that removed and got pregnant w/ my 1st child...married the babies daddy and now we have a total of 3...since I have given birth to my 1st...nobody asks me for my phone # anymore probably because I can't lose the 40 lbs I've gained...I feel like crap b/c I know I can be pretty...I'm just not anymore! I'm happily married but it would be nice to at least feel attractive...


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

Zephyr said:


> I can't look at mirrors either. They're evil.


This is SO me. Damn Mirrors! Grrrr! :bash

lol


----------



## BetaBoy90

I don't think so. I'd say I'm probably more attractive than not, physically/facially. Mentally, it's hard to say.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

MavenMI6Agent009 said:


> same here people to seem to be drawn on my apperance but then lose interests fast with my personality. however, I do somehow think im ugly and I think the reason is because Im not some macho role model. I dont think Im the only one that feels like that.


 Back in 2007. Anyway I perceive my body in a distorted and ugly way because thats how I feel about myself. Could be BDD.


----------



## lissa530

Yes most days I do feel I'm ugly! My self esteem has gotton worse as I've gotton older. And of course thinking this way about myself has held me back in many areas of my life.


----------



## Diacetylmorphine

Eh probably for the most part, I don't give it much thought.


----------



## lissa530

Zephyr said:


> I can't look at mirrors either. They're evil.


Ugh sometimes I avoid looking at them as well.


----------



## wilted rose

This is such a great question. I have gotten lots of compliments on my looks. When I was younger I didn't know how I to take a compliment so I would sneer, say "no I'm not". Once I realized that pissed people off I had to learn how to say thank you and basically walk away. I hate the way I look. When I am getting ready to leave the house, hair make-up and all that fun stuff. I will check the mirror a dozen times before leaving, but only the mirror I think makes me look the best then I will not look in another mirror for the rest of the day. Weird you say? I know. Cameras are the worst. Hate cameras. The way I look in a mirror and the way I look in a picture is totally different. I see a picture of myself and I see ugly!


----------



## f ii o r e ll a

When I'm extremely happy the mirror will show me that I am pretty. Maybe cause I'm smiling  . I wish I could have more things to smile about that way I will feel pretty every day, plus a little confident. There are days when I feel ugly and that does hold me back from going outside.

Sometimes I wonder whether the mirror shows me what I want to see. I'm not European but if the mirror shows me I am that makes me feel content. I rarely ever have someone take photos of me because once I see it it ruins my whole day. I think to myself, "Is that what I truly look like?". The photo will look completely different from person I see in the mirror. 

I've received compliments but I don't take it to heart, I have trouble trusting people. They're lying just to win my respect so they can backstab me for laughs.


----------



## Choci Loni

Yes. It's so unfair that some are less attractive than others. I can't help but feeling that this injustice is unbearable at times. I just feel as if I can't look at anyone in the eyes for too long only because I'm tormenting them by having them look at my face  
(Sorry, I'm not in a very good mood right now)


----------



## NoDirectionHome

Yep, but I also have my redeeming qualities.


----------



## Christa25

I don't think my face is ugly, but my body is. Although it is something I am working on.


----------



## LynnNBoys

I'm average, I think. I have good days and bad.

What I hate most is the rosacea on my cheeks. I try to cover it with makeup. I feel so self-conscious when people say, "Looks like you got some sun today!" I think I'm going to try the laser treatment my dermatologist suggested.


----------



## josh23

Yes. Very.


----------



## chobani47

I can handle the mirror, but really dislike seeing pictures or video of myself. I don't think that believing I am ugly holds me back its just the reality of it that does.


----------



## Jessie203

josh23 said:


> Yes. Very.


I've seen you, you're not ugly.
At all
Youre a cute lookin dude
Is that even a good compliment?
W/e i got my point across LOL


----------



## SearchingforMe

Haha, I was always told I was ugly growing up, but I was told that by people that weren't so good looking either. I think I'm quite good looking though. When I was going to college I caught girls looking at me. One time in class some girl was staring right at me and when I looked towards her she looked away. It freaked me out. I felt my back get hot and my chest got like a rushing feeling cause she looked like she was so focused on me. When we walked out of the class she smiled at me and giggled. Ya think what she did a good indication? Anyways, I can look myself in the mirror but I detest getting photographed or videotaped. Man, I look fat in video or pictures lol.


----------



## Cody88

The fact I never had a girlfriend makes me sometimes question if I am but most of the time I think I look decent I guess.


----------



## Graye

Surprisingly not. Hair's half-checked out, so I shaved my head, and I'm surprised that I actually look better. Use to have a very youthful, kiddy, babyface with hair.

Oh ya, still can't stand mirrors and pictures of myself.


----------



## s0dy

Ugly. Fact. Ever since I was born. (OK...I think I was a cute kid during the first 3 years)
+ Ugly, I'm a hairy guy, like...direct descendant of a Wookiee. (body hair, not head hair, head hair is there but has seen better days or so I'm told :b )
And to help, ~6 years ago I "decided" that it was a good idea to get fat, went from ~65kg (here I was a bit too thin, well...light for my like, my normal weight was ~75kg) to ~95kg in one year and guess what? I didn't give a **** until recently.
Now I'm fat, ugly^2 and feel like my intelligence has seen better days...
I'm slowly, very slowly, working on the "fat" part of the problem.

Oh and glasses, very thick lensed glasses. But while that contributes to the ugliness, I can't do anything about it and I have fully accepted it when I was 8 years old.


----------



## Owl Eyes

Lonelyguy said:


> I don't think I'm ugly. I know I am .


this^


----------



## stomachknots

actually hate being around girls my own age for this reason:blank


----------



## luffy

stomachknots said:


> actually hate being around girls my own age for this reason:blank


you're not ugly at all. the same goes for a lot of people in this thread. This distorted self-image is just part of SA/depression.


----------



## ThisGuy

Yep.


----------



## sjc131

chobani47 said:


> I can handle the mirror, but really dislike seeing pictures or video of myself. I don't think that believing I am ugly holds me back its just the reality of it that does.


Same, I can't stand looking at a facebook picture of myself, I look so much fatter in them than in real life. Im definatly way too self concious.


----------



## roxyruby

lostwitness said:


> Every day when I look in the mirror I'm disgusted. Sometimes I think I wouldn't even be going through this if I was good looking my whole life.
> 
> Does anyone else think that they're ugly, and do you believe that this belief holds you back?


Ugliness is not a label that is objective, factual, and set in stone. Ugliness is a term that's subjective and changeable.

So whatever you have thought was ugly about yourself, you could begin to start to think, "I'm going to define this as socially acceptable and cool".

Because YOU are the biggest authority in your life over what is attractive/socially acceptable/cool/hot/beautiful about your self.

You have the POWER to think independently of society and mass beliefs - remember society and mass beliefs are not god - it's just made up of human beings who are not all knowing and are very subject to social change.

So you can create your own social change movement with just your self.

Socially Healthy people don't care how you look, they only care about what you can give them socially, relationally, or what you can give them emotionally, or how you can brighten their day up or make their day more interesting. Every person is equally worthy and important no matter how differing our appearance. Don't abuse your self. You have the right to get your needs met and live fully and healthfully with ANY appearance.

You are an amazing person! And this obsession is not worthy of you.


----------



## josh23

kathy903 said:


> I've seen you, you're not ugly.
> At all
> Youre a cute lookin dude
> Is that even a good compliment?
> W/e i got my point across LOL


 Thanks.


----------



## coeur_brise

I look okay, but I certainly don't have any redeeming qualities. Not ugly on the outside but inside, perhaps.


----------



## flykiwi

i dont know. :/
no guy has ever asked me out so i dont think
any guy could think im pretty


----------



## dominicwalli

i know im hot,im a bit chubby,but i consider myself nice looking,and if not..i have the gym to make some changes...


----------



## Nameless Someone

Yup. I'm trying to accept being unattractive and move on.


----------



## mapthesoul

Yes.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother to buy clothes that I think will make me look nice, or get a good looking hair cut, or lose weight when I know I'm fine, or spend 15 minutes doing my hair, or try different products to make my face look at least okay, or spend hours watching videos on Youtube on hair and makeup and skin and end up getting depressed because all these girls are so beautiful?

Why do I even try when I know that even if I did look good, people won't like me? This feeling really gets to me sometimes. I want to give up and hide away from everyone where looks don't matter and I don't have to give a sh-t.


..I give up.


----------



## Jennifer Clayton

Yes. Definitely yes.
I can't help but to feel incredibly hideous all the time.
People tell me I'm very pretty, but I rarely ever feel that way.
Mostly I feel super ugly and disgusting, and it feels like that's the reason people don't talk to me.

fml.


----------



## StarlightSonic

Yes. Very much so.


----------



## beatlesgirl

I'm fat. I'm ugly. Seeing myself in mirrors depresses me.


----------



## Andrew1990

i dont like to judge what i look like, its up to others i suppose but i wouldnt say iam ugly its a very strong word! but i wouldnt say i was drop dead gorgeous either!


----------



## JGreenwood

I am very ugly. I can't even remember the last time I received a compliment or even thought another person was attracted to me...


----------



## alwayswannabe

you should stop thinking bout ur physical looks. the only things that matter is you feel happy about yourself. imho


----------



## dominicwalli

mapthesoul said:


> Yes.
> 
> Sometimes I wonder why I bother to buy clothes that I think will make me look nice, or get a good looking hair cut, or lose weight when I know I'm fine, or spend 15 minutes doing my hair, or try different products to make my face look at least okay, or spend hours watching videos on Youtube on hair and makeup and skin and end up getting depressed because all these girls are so beautiful?
> 
> Why do I even try when I know that even if I did look good, people won't like me? This feeling really gets to me sometimes. I want to give up and hide away from everyone where looks don't matter and I don't have to give a sh-t.
> 
> ..I give up.


lmao..never give up,life is like a video game,but without cheatcodesO_O,just keep playing it until u pass the hard levels..-_-


----------



## Iloveyouu

I was picked on a lot in niddle school for my looks. 
So now, I hardly ever feel attractive. :/


----------



## Kennnie

No!!!!.......... im sexy as hell wtf xD


----------



## mirry

Some days I hate how I look (both in regards to my face and my body), and other days I think I look really hot. Guess it just depends on my mood. I am very self-conscious and hard on myself, but I know I'm not truly hideous lol.


----------



## sapientiamagna

I don't know. I never can figure it out, and I never ask anyone because then they'd know I'm an attention *****.


----------



## NaturalLogOfZero

Some days especially if my hair is being ridiculous or I picked at a sore on my face
Some days I feel like my looks are my best asset


----------



## mrmarc

I dunno really, i hate seeing my own reflection and i hate my picture being taken even more:/


----------



## kilgoretrout

Most days I FEEL ugly, but just like some people said before me, it sometimes depends on my mood. I'm not sure if I actually am ugly though. Too much conflicting information.


----------



## amene

**** yes.


----------



## FallenRepublic

i think i am, yes. But hey, no use denying it if this is how ill look for the rest of my life. Im not saying i break mirrors with a smile, but id rather not smile at all


----------



## Noll

Yes.


----------



## Jessie203

Im sad im sure most of you are not even ugly...... and for those who are honestly not attractive to most people someone will find you attracrtive for your heart at least... were all going to look old saggy and ugly one day... beauty is now dumb is forever.. youre still important u dont need to be a supermodel! I should take my own advice... :\


----------



## JustWakeUp

Yep! ^_^


----------



## Pialicious88

stomachknots said:


> actually hate being around girls my own age for this reason:blank


girl what are you talking about, you're hot.


----------



## JanaNanner

I think that I am possibly average looking at best. 

But this reminds me of something that a friend said to me once. She told me that she could find at least one really attractive thing about every single person and find everyone beautiful because of it. And that's true, that no one is ugly in every single way, even if it's something as simple as having nice earlobes.

It would be nice if more people could see others the way that she does, including the way that we see our own selves.


----------



## IcoRules

I don't know if I would say I think I'm ugly, but I don't think I'm attractive or that theres enough things attractive about me that people would pay any interest to me. I'm just plain and uninteresting.

How I feel about myself seems to depend on my mood though.


----------



## Tu Cielo

Yeah I think I'm ugly for the most part. Sometimes I think I look alright, but it's not that often that I think that. It doesn't help to have a fraternal twin sister who is gorgeous and is constantly being told she is and I'm always the afterthought "Oh well you're pretty, too". 

I think my looks have effected my SA mostly because I used to get teased as a kid by the other kids who would say I looked like a boy or I had buck teeth or a big nose. My self-esteem is pretty much nonexistent now.


----------



## SHYGIRLUV

dominicwalli said:


> well your not ok...definitly not....ur beautyfull,just liek almost all the ppl in thsi stupid thread,they just have to find their style,most of the times its the clothes and the haircuto_o,and if u dont like ur body u can always go to the gym.


 yea thts tru but i dnt care i just keep my head down wen i walk so nobody bothers me.  well thnk u


----------



## JerryMaguire

I'm not ugly but I'm not attractive.

It sounds very vain and narcissistic but I try everyday to become more attractive because I think that's what'll give me the confidence to break out of this anxiety.

Just typing that out and reading it back to myself makes realize how ridiculous it sounds.

But I'm just not content with looking average. I don't wanna be an average joe, I wanna stand out.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

I'm average looking. Nothing more, and nothing less.


----------



## thisgirl

Some days I do. Usually when my acne is getting really bad. But when it's clear and I do my hair and put on a nice outfit I think I look cute. I have way more confidence than I did when I was younger. But my younger sister is beautiful and whenever we go anywhere together, guys always wanna talk to her. They just look right past me most of the time, lol.


----------



## cybernaut

I don't think that I am ugly..but I will admit that I'm too photogenic.


----------



## Mitzy

I like the way I look mostly. Somedays I will think "wow, I'm actually quite pretty today" then others, I look like a blotchy pig-troll.


----------



## Marlon

I think I'm average. I've never worked out though and I'm skinny as a twig. People say they love my smile all the time though. That makes me feel good about myself. I do feel hideous however when I don't shave.


----------



## missalyssa

Sometimes, when I see other girls who are skinnier or have naturally prettier features I become jealous and think negatively that I'm ugly.

But generally - no. I'm on the prettier side of average.


----------



## Think_For_Yourself

Usually, yes.


----------



## orchidsandviolins

mm yeah, kinda. if i compare myself to other females.


----------



## puffins

sometimes i feel completely hideous, i dream about all of the plastic surgery i'll have. then i have days where if i do my hair and makeup just right i feel a bit better. i also have a hard time believing compliments  BDD probably...


----------



## Colton

Earlier today I thought I looked pretty good, but then later on I thought I looked like a freak. :\

Also, I noticed that I look better in some mirrors than in others. Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe it's just the lighting in the room or what?


----------



## mixedupgirl

Yeah I think I'm ugly, I have very low confidance


----------



## EnchantingGhost

I think I've got a really odd face shape....and a big nose that looks awful and bumpy on profile. Due to this I always look terrible wearing my hair up and try to avoid it as much as possible :|


----------



## EnchantingGhost

mezzoforte said:


> I don't think I'm ugly. I think I'm "okay", I guess.
> I think I have a nice-ish body, but a below average face.


If that's you in your profile picture then I think you're really pretty


----------



## wootmehver

I'm on a donor list for a face transplant right now...hoping some good looking corpse will become available soon.


----------



## BabyOakTree

I've never really liked my appearance, I was picked on at primary school and some of those words stuck with me, To the previous posts by people saying that they're ugly I truly doubt that. Remember people see us differently to how we see ourselves, we are our own worst critics


----------



## Lanter

Inturmal said:


> We all know that beauty is on the inside.
> and that makes me ugly.


Haha, damnit! You worded that amazingly. That's exactly how I feel though.

But no, I don't feel physically ugly - I am not the most handsome guy in the world, but not ugly either and I bet 99% of you aren't.


----------



## InfiniteBlaze

mezzoforte said:


> I don't think I'm ugly. I think I'm "okay", I guess.
> I think I have a nice-ish body, but a below average face.


You look great, actually.


----------



## Cole87

No not really. I do have things about me I want to change.


----------



## meganmila

No. But I'm not like standard hot. I have a lazy eye and I'm self conscious about. I used to obsess about things on my face or body. Like I would fixate on it then I'll get over it and go on to another thing. Does anybody else do this? I don't really care about what I look like now.


----------



## rdrr

i wouldnt say ugly, just unappealing looks wise to the opposite sex in a romantic pov. My own opinion is subjective though, and negative. I feel positive thoughts of your appearance come from external sources and not self. Why else do people always seek opinions of others when it comes to appearance, and rely on positive opinions to boost their self esteem?


----------



## Onomatopoeia

I have my days...especially when acne rears its ugly head.


----------



## Michael James

I'm not ugly...I use to rely on others telling me that but now I feel it. If somebody disagrees as some have, that's their right to an opinion and I couldn't give a damn . To bad I don't think this way in other aspects .


----------



## taffysaur

i _know_ i am.


----------



## makavelithedon

Only like 98% of the time, approx.


----------



## Monroee

Yes yes yes yes.


----------



## Lasair

I'd never say ugly as it is such a strong word but I do dislike my features


----------



## bson1257

I'm very grotesque


----------



## RetroDoll

no. but apparently not attractive enough/up to the standards of what people would call 'date worthy' material, etc.


----------



## tropic

I think I'm average, but there are days when I think I look very ugly, yes. Usually, when I feel sad and depressed for whatever reason.


----------



## Syndacus

I have psoriasis of the face..I have every reason and excuse to consider myself ugly. It looks like I have a sunburn on my face, with the added cracking and peeling. Meds and topical solutions don't work, it actually made it worse and it spread to my back.


----------



## Ape in space

I don't think I'm ugly, but I sure don't have any chicks fighting over me.


----------



## Cody88

I don't know >.< Sometimes I think I am and other times I think I'm not. I try not to worry about it though and try to look the best I can. Sometimes we aren't our own types but our looks can be another person's type if you get what I mean.


----------



## presence

i tell myself i'm ugly everyday


----------



## Veritastar

Not really, I'm pretty average, that is good enough for me. I could stand to lose 50 pounds though, that is going great.


----------



## MindOverMood

presence said:


> i tell myself i'm ugly everyday


You trollin? Because you don't seem to have a problem posting your pics on the interwebs.:b


----------



## DJKav

generally speaking, no


----------



## presence

MindOverMood said:


> You trollin? Because you don't seem to have a problem posting your pics on the interwebs.:b


lol of course i don't think i'm hideous, but i deal with my own self esteem issues and i find that i often put myself down

and i take a lot of pictures, idc


----------



## Rest or Real?

on the inside


----------



## Colton

I think I've replied to this thread like twice before, but since it's back on the front page I will re-state that YES, I feel ugly 80% of the time. In a weird way it makes me feel better to call myself ugly. It's like I can accept it.

But when other people call me ugly or a freak, I'm depressed for days and it burns into my mind forever.


----------



## Stormclouds

I've had a lot of people tell me I'm attractive, but I always feel ugly, and see nothing but negative things when I look in the mirror.


----------



## Fenren

_I'm U.G.L.Y._ I ain't got no _alibi_!


----------



## Asduff

anonymous259 said:


> Yes. I can look in their bathroom mirror in the morning when I have to (like, to shave) but I have to prepare my self, well, I expect to see it. The other day I saw my reflection in a window at school and it got me down :-(


This always happens to me in school. But sometimes i see myself and i like the way i look and i feel confident the whole day. I dont know how my look changes but when it does it just triggers something im my brain that just makes me confident and secure.


----------



## AussiePea

NightFlier said:


> _I'm U.G.L.Y._ I ain't got no _alibi_!


lol kids made that my theme song at school once. Great for the self confidence.


----------



## wootmehver

My sister called me ugly once. It still hurts years later.


----------



## Beautiful soul

[QUOTE I used to obsess about things on my face or body. Like I would fixate on it then I'll get over it and go on to another thing. Does anybody else do this? 
Yes I did all the way up until around age 20.

I don't really care about what I look like now.[/QUOTE]

This is how I feel now.


----------



## 0lly

I can't decide as to whether I'm ugly or not. I've been told either way. 

Also, in some mirrors I look better than in other lol. My bathroom mirror makes my look like quasimodo, because the room is very light. My medium is dark lol. 

In any case I always feel very self conscience when in public.


----------



## Shadow2009

I think i'm potentially decent looking, however there's so many little things that are wrong with the way I look that COULD be changed!

- I have a horrible haircut, in fact it's not even a haircut because it's not been cut in months, it's just random curls in my hair and it looks dirty and unwashed.
- I have terrible acne problems
- I have really bushy eyebrows (that are slowly beginning to connect)
- Bad teeth (however i'm getting braces to fix them soon)
- REALLY, REALLY skinny (which means clothes don't look properly on me and I don't have confidence to wear anything decent, so just walk about in trackie bottoms and old t-shirts all the time


----------



## stupiditytries

No. But anxiety and depression makes me look ugly.


----------



## RockBottomRiser

No.


----------



## Marakunda

I got a nice enough body, but I'm somewhat self conscious about my face... I'm not THAT bad though, I suppose.


----------



## Opiman

Shadow2009 said:


> I think i'm potentially decent looking, however there's so many little things that are wrong with the way I look that COULD be changed!
> 
> - I have a horrible haircut, in fact it's not even a haircut because it's not been cut in months, it's just random curls in my hair and it looks dirty and unwashed.
> - I have terrible acne problems
> - I have really bushy eyebrows (that are slowly beginning to connect)
> - Bad teeth (however i'm getting braces to fix them soon)
> - REALLY, REALLY skinny (which means clothes don't look properly on me and I don't have confidence to wear anything decent, so just walk about in trackie bottoms and old t-shirts all the time


Well, in an attempt to be optimistic, you can:

-Get a new haircut
-See your doctor about acne meds and solve that problem
-Buy a razor/tweezers to ensure you don't grow a unibrow (considered unattractive in today's society)
-Get braces
-Go to the gym and build some muscle (make yourself healthier at the same time)
-Buy some decent clothes
-Go out in the sun (people find tan-ness attractive, AND it should alleviate some acne)

All your problems seem to be fairly superficial can easily be fixed with a little time and effort.


----------



## Noll

Yeah.


----------



## Tipa

I don't like my body. I know I'm unattractive by many standards. I've got good facial features though so my unattractiveness is mostly hidden. I just look crappy naked lol. 

I'm unattractive enough to not want to be pretty, I just want to be decent looking enough for a man to one day marry me lol


----------



## awkwardpenguin

Sometimes.


----------



## dominicwalli

hahaha nice thread...well i consider i could get more groomed.

if u go to the gym and get ripped and brush ur teeths every day and cut ur hair nice and use nice clothes then any1 can b nice looking.


----------



## QuietSoul

Sadly yes. No matter how much I try to take care of myself, I always end up looking hideous.


----------



## MoniqueS

This is one of my biggest struggles.


----------



## Angelbroken

No. I'm a perfectionist with my looks.

Too bad it doesn't work for my disgusting personality. =(


----------



## wootmehver

I was so ugly my mom had to tie a dog biscuit around my neck to get the family dog to play with me.


----------



## Delicate

Overall I guess I think I am. I have moments of confidence and If someone ever compliments me I'll believe them. If I see a picture of myself though I hate it, I don't think I look hideous, but I don't like to look at myself :?.


----------



## Oddknee

I do think I'm good-looking, I think I have good teeth and nice eyes, I think I have a good face overall but I don't like my body


----------



## IcoRules

Not really ugly, but unattractive. Unattractive, as in "there is nothing attractive about me".


----------



## this portrait

I used to think I was ugly as a kid and throughout much of my teen years, but then I started making myself up more and I felt a little better about myself. Plus, I'd always get compliments on how "attractive" I look (still do). It was a little hard to not really believe them after a while. I don't consider myself vain and/or conceited because of that, though; I'm just comfortable with how I look.


----------



## FridgeRaider

At the moment, yes, I do think I am ugly. I do kinda like how my actual face looks, just not how it's covered with acne. I've had it for a few years though and have quite a few acne scars on my forehead. I'm a really pale person and my teeth aren't that straight either. I think you need to be in education to get braces on the NHS, but I'm not anymore.

At 5'0 and weighing 120 lb, I'm not overweight I think, but I'm not skinny either. I have a uber fast metabolism so I eat whatever I want and never put on weight. I know I need to do more exercise but as I don't really get out much I don't have many oppertunities. I'm going to try to do more walking and bike riding though.

I don't really talk to people much so I'm not sure if other people consider me ugly or not. But when I do go out, I never get called ugly, but I never get complimented either. :3


----------



## boringboy

Yes, I think I am ugly. That's why I have no mirrors at home. I have learned to shave without looking at the mirror, and I'm bald so I don't need to comb my hair as long as I keep getting haircuts frequently. At the barber's shop, I sit in the chair and close my eyes tight.


----------



## plusminusinfinity

I'm fugly :|


----------



## Dan208

I don't think I'm ugly, per se, but I don't think I'm attractive.


----------



## tinted

I am ugly,and the worst part is having a pretty twin sister.i'm named the ugly twin,after all no need to call me by my name when you can just call me the uglier twin.


----------



## EscapeReality

Nope nor do i think i am beautiful in that matter.

Self Ego and Self Negativity are the two worse destroyers of man kinds ultimate ability to be free.


----------



## masterofsadness56

Yeah


----------



## lynnb

Yeah, I think I am, and I also think no one likes me, or could EVER like me, but my therapist says I have a distorted view of reality.

I was looking back through my high school yearbook and I actually thought I was a lot prettier than most of the girls in my class. I just really, really thought I was ugly. I think I was just really shy and so I thought I was ugly. Objectively speaking, however, I wasn't all that bad.


----------



## Cashew

I look pretty in the mirror in my bathroom

but somehow I become ugly in the mirrors outside my house :yes


----------



## Angelbroken

Siringo said:


> I look pretty in the mirror in my bathroom
> 
> but somehow I become ugly in the mirrors outside my house :yes


Haha - I feel that way sometimes too. I think its the lighting XD


----------



## Ambient

I don't think I'm ugly, but I have no idea if I'm attractive.


----------



## barczyl

I do, but I'm kind of trying to fish for compliments by showing my picture on these forums.


----------



## Squirrelevant

I don't think I am, but I don't feel that others find me attractive either.


----------



## TimeToBegin

No, I think I'm good looking. I don't mean to sound conceited because I'm not. I mean, I'm not all that. Probably a 7/10. But I'd be lying if I said I think I'm ugly.


----------



## MadArchitect

I think I'm pretty occasionally, but I generally don't find myself attractive, though men seem to. 
Sometimes I feel hideous. I wish faces matched personalities.


----------



## Insanityonthego

I don't think I'm ugly but I don't think I'm that pretty either.


----------



## Godless1

sophiek said:


> I don't think I'm ugly but I don't think I'm that pretty either.


Really?! :no

I try to stay away from these threads, because the scores of cute girls doubting themselves starts to bug me. You, however, take it to a whole new level. *You are gorgeous, *and in the most objective, indisputable way possible.


----------



## Aeroflot

I don't feel I'm ugly, but I don't like the baby face.


----------



## hoddesdon

I can't believe this thread has 57 pages. BDD is a standard feature of SA. It's quite funny the way that person A says "you look great, but I am ugly" to person B, and then person B says "Don't be silly, you look great, but I actually am ugly". Even if you sincerely believe that, self-flagellation does not get you anywhere.


----------



## Blades

I do. Even though I have a very attractive girlfriend who assures me I am not along with other people that include some of the members on this forum I still do and I honestly don’t know why.


----------



## Insanityonthego

Godless1 said:


> Really?! :no
> 
> I try to stay away from these threads, because the scores of cute girls doubting themselves starts to bug me. You, however, take it to a whole new level. *You are gorgeous, *and in the most objective, indisputable way possible.


----------



## Hiccups

_I've decided to not read the already 1000+ comments in this thread as I'm a shocker and I know I know ... I completely suck but *innocent shrug*....._

The thing I don't like the most is the difference between looking my best and looking my worst. I feel there is such a contrast and that I have to put soooooo much effort into looking great. I don't feel guys have to deal with this, they can roll out of bed, push their hair out of their face, get dressed and brush their teeth and be ready to go! fffuuuuuu! just kidding but seriously I'd be mistaken for a homeless person if I only did those three things. The fact I'm so lazy means I run this risk everytime I step outside :/

_also if someone already posted a post like this soz >_<_


----------



## Godless1

Hiccups said:


> _I've decided to not read the already 1000+ comments in this thread as I'm a shocker and I know I know ... I completely suck but *innocent shrug*....._
> 
> The thing I don't like the most is the difference between looking my best and looking my worst. I feel there is such a contrast and that I have to put soooooo much effort into looking great. I don't feel guys have to deal with this, they can roll out of bed, push their hair out of their face, get dressed and brush their teeth and be ready to go! fffuuuuuu! just kidding but seriously I'd be mistaken for a homeless person if I only did those three things. The fact I'm so lazy means I run this risk everytime I step outside :/
> 
> _also if someone already posted a post like this soz >_<_


*Psst, I'll let you in on a little secret. This is true for everybody. Yes even dudes (although admittedly, to a lesser extent).

I may not have to worry about makeup, but I still have to worry about grooming (I almost get a unibrow going if I don't do something about it), working out, wearing flattering clothes, eating healthy, and so on.

There are very few people who can be yanked out of bed at 5 A.M., and not look like hell.


----------



## itisgoingtobefine

A few people have told me I'm cute. But not enough to convince me. Once in school, a guy looked me right in the eyes and told me "Your ugly" And once a guy was joking with a girl about running her fingers through my hair, and she said "Ewww" That's all I got to go on. :stu


----------



## Jinxx

Yes I do. I have a big boyish head, no neck pretty much & I'm overweight.


----------



## diamondheart89

I feel disgusting right now.


----------



## Colton

Three years ago I would've told you that my nose was the thing I liked most about my face. Now my nose has somehow morphed in a weird way so it looks like my dad's ugly nose. I feel awful for saying this, but if I start looking any more like my father, it's going to be a depressing future. Luckily I have some of my mom's good features.

I know I've replied to this thread like 3 times but I keep forgetting what I said or I keep thinking of things to add. But anyway YES I THINK I'M UGLY! :/


----------



## JupiterStarr

To those that have never been called ugly why think that you're ugly? How would you feel if a group of people actually called you ugly?


----------



## AlekaHarlow

I know I'm not ugly, but that doesn't stop me from hating everything about me. I've become so critical of myself that NO part of me is appealing to me anymore. I think my hair is too thin, forehead too big, bad skin, eyes too small, lips too small, body not petite enough, smile not attractive enough, knees too wide, torso not long enough, blah blah blah. I always look at photos of other girls and wonder why I wasn't born that way. But I know that all of this is ridiculous. I look through pictures of myself from half a year ago, a year ago, two years ago, and find myself attractive. But at the time those pictures were taken I saw someone COMPLETELY different. I long for the day when I can be comfortable with myself


----------



## CynicalOptimist

Hmmm...so so. It depends on the day. I do often hate the way I look though. Between my weight...my less than perfect skin...and my hair I often feel kinda ugly. But sometimes if I have something to look forward to doing and make a pretty good effort with my appearance that day...I kind feel kinda attractive.


----------



## Nap0d

Knife said:


> sonya99 said:
> 
> 
> 
> I remember being 12 years old with long flowing hair, and still hearing somebody say "is that a boy or a girl?"
> 
> 
> 
> the exact same thing happened to me!
Click to expand...

Same Here rodløs


----------



## 0lly

When I catch my reflection it makes my heart sink. Like right now, I can see myself reflected in my laptop screen.


----------



## Shuraiya

No , I am happy with myself in means of looks etc.


----------



## marissawhitney

I struggle with feeling ugly on a regular basis. My fiance always tells me I'm beautiful, but after years of people saying otherwise, it's hard to believe one person versus 50. I hate my teeth, my hair, my nose, the fact that I'm overweight, my broad shoulders...I could go on and on! I think my social phobia causes me to believe everyone is staring at my flaws, even though some might not even see them as flaws. I know for a fact I am ugly and nothing I do can change it. I give up a lot when it comes to trying to make myself "pretty". I still feel ugly even when I get all dressed up and do my hair and makeup, so I figure, what's the point?


----------



## Ih8Hondas

I used to think I was pretty unattractive. Then I looked around and noticed there were a lot of guys less attractive than me (at least i think so) but there were still a lot more better looking ones. So I think I'm sort of average. I still think girls will find me unattaractive though. I guess the fact that opinions differ makes me think theirs will be negative.


----------



## VeganGirl93

I think I'm beautiful.

(But, I got bullied at school and get bullied at home and even get stared at because others think I'm ugly = why I have social anxiety. **** THEM!)


----------



## izeoftheworld

I got called ugly at least once a week until I was about 16. After that it would still happen a few times until it stopped about 5 years ago. Granted, I do look a lot better nowadays and most of the time I think I look alright but there are still days where I think I don't look much better than I used to. The only thing I can say for sure is that I haven't gotten uglier.


----------



## James_Russell

hmmm, i'm 18 and have never been close to having a girlfriend or any sexual contact.

I'm entirely certain this isn't because of my looks though. Being able to communicate with people is more important than how you look. I've seen people far from attractive with good looking girls, and vice versa. 

haha long story short, No I don't.


----------



## Cerrada

I don't think I'm ugly...but I do have a lot of room for improvement. I want to lose at least 17lbs then I won't ever have to complain about my weight again. :s I used to think I was hideous. But I lost some weight and started caring about my appearance then my opinion about myself changed completely. I think I'm cute. Not beautiful. Not hot. Just cute.


----------



## Ortelius

I'm ugly because of bad acne. At the moment I don't care about scars, I just hope I'll get rid of it soon! I've had it such a long time by now...


----------



## sas111

^ Acne is my main problem, it ruins everything. The side of my chin area look like one big infected rash because the acne just spreads for months, one breakout after another.


----------



## YesandNo

I am no head turner that's for sure. I am pretty average, cute at best. I would give anything to be one of those girls who were naturally beautiful, who didn't have to dress sexy or put on loads of makeup on to be considered attractive. I get complements at work all the time but its never from anyone that counts.


----------



## Jenikyula gone mad

I used to think I was ugly. Now I think I'm hot stuff, and I am the embodiement of bad-assery. 8)


----------



## ReincarnatedRose

*NO.* :boogie


----------



## ReincarnatedRose

Jenikyula gone mad said:


> I used to think I was ugly. Now I think I'm hot stuff, and I am the embodiement of bad-assery. 8)


THIS.


----------



## Colton

YesandNo said:


> I am no head turner that's for sure. I am pretty average, cute at best. I would give anything to be one of those girls who were naturally beautiful, who didn't have to dress sexy or put on loads of makeup on to be considered attractive. I get complements at work all the time but its never from anyone that counts.


Every compliment should count!


----------



## Talgonite

I have my days where I am a hacking super model, and then I have the days where I wonder what the hell happened to my face. I guess it depends on my mood.

On a positive note I got told I have a really great butt today.


----------



## josen

i'm ugly. just as my emotional wounds begin to heal someone will tell me i have a goblin face, "ha-ha no offense though." when i start to be able to forget i will be compared to some undesirable character or creature, and the wound opens again.

that emotional scar is way too deep to ever fade.
when i say people need me to know that i am worthless, i mean they need it more than anything.


----------



## sk2009

i dont think im ugly but i feel like wuts on the outside doesnt matter as much as wuts inside-id rathr get rid of the sa than look like a supermodel lol


----------



## rawrguy

Fat, bald, and ugly here... I think I may need help or something


----------



## papaSmurf

Still yes. Slowly learning not to place so much importance in my appearance, though.


----------



## lyric

I think I'm cute, but I don't think I'll ever be above that. My ex thought I was attractive and that's enough for me.  I'm not shy to put my picture on here either.


----------



## SupaDupaFly

I feel ugly but not always. I mean i been called hot,cute etc but somehow i dont believe them..I feel that they are saying that just to make me feel good. Im average face wise.


----------



## randomprecision

Though it has taken me a lifetime to figure out what an "approving glance" looks like I have found that I apparently do get them once in while. At first I'm like :boogie but then i'm like :bash cause .... well, you know.


----------



## Harassment Panda

I feel ugly but I get told I'm cute.. doesn't change the fact I still think I'm ugly.


----------



## tlhunter2002

I dont think i'm ugly but i still have a lot of anxiety


----------



## CWe

"capital y" "capital e" "capital s"


----------



## tohellandback

Definitely not very attractive.


----------



## cat001

I don't really think i'm ugly, average yeah, but GOD do I have annoying facial skin!!!


----------



## Cheesecake

I think so. Have to cover my face with a towel when I'm in front of the mirror in the morning.


----------



## skygazer

I'm beautiful but not to others. I'd have sex with my clone if I had one.


----------



## Manifold

I do, the only person who has ever called me handsome in real life was my mother :roll I was also called ugly on some accounts in the past.

It wouldn't bother me, if attractiveness wasn't such a substantial factor for how people treat you and approach you. Add that to a feeble personality and body language, [FONT=&quot]together with crippling anxiety that deters you from making the move yourself [/FONT]and you are pretty much set to be:


----------



## EML

I have never considered myself good looking. At times I feel really ugly, but overall a sense of dissatisfaction of how I look.

I did have some cosmetic surgery 2 years ago to solve part of this problem. I certainly look better than before. Honestly, I do not think I will be ever satisfied with how I look.

As far as if other people think I'm ugly, who knows? I have SA, I barely talk to people and get self conscious over my looks when I do.


----------



## MoniqueS

I have moments or days where I just feel disgusting. But other days, I think I can see potential. But I never actually feel like I'm reaching that potential. But without question, my biggest concern is my body. I've never been happy with it. And I don't know how I can ever believe compliments when people say I have a nice body, when they haven't actually seen me naked. If I could just let go of these body image issues, I would be so much happier but I just can't seem to let it go.


----------



## artynerd

I have no idea why I wrote a long essay.. when simply.. 1 word = Yes!


----------



## Frenger868

Yes, i think myself ugly. Repulsive even.

Logically, I know I'm not abosultely horrific looking, maybe I'm even normal looking, but I certainly _feel _bad about my looks. Some days, I don't want to leave the house because of it


----------



## olschool

oh yeah


----------



## JMX

When I see myself in the mirror, I actually think I'm decent looking.
But then when I take a photo of myself, I look completely hideous.


----------



## nycdude

Sometimes. But I was never called ugly or anything like that. Guess I look normal.


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

I'm jealous of Medusa.


----------



## fatelogic

I just want good looking females.... hello ladies! my name is lick-a-lot-of-puss....nice to meet you... though i have never licked puss at all.... but I'll just go by that bad-boy name!


----------



## sarafinanickelbocker

fatelogic said:


> I just want good looking females.... hello ladies! my name is lick-a-lot-of-puss....nice to meet you... though i have never licked puss at all.... but I'll just go by that bad-boy name!


----------



## fatelogic

^lol she looks very happy being a human lollipop... she likes the licking'.... though my tongue has muscles too.  i'll lick her face off. depending if my tongue is willing though... most likely it is. :|

funny pic though... i want to lick something still... *sticks out tongue and licks the air*


----------



## Famous

yup, fat and ugly, I only got fat after I got diagnosed with mental illness, how weird is that


----------



## Nevermind0

fatelogic said:


> I just want good looking females.... hello ladies! my name is lick-a-lot-of-puss....nice to meet you... though i have never licked puss at all.... but I'll just go by that bad-boy name!


What are we drinking tonight, Mr Logic?


----------



## fatelogic

^lol a lot of jack and gin... you should try it some time  i see purple pokadotted elephants... flying too. you gotta love it... lol... dumbo becomes your best friend lol.


----------



## Aly

Everyday


----------



## aquilla

I think I am.


----------



## Christina123

My nose is too big and my chin is weak. And my eyebrows aren't high enough.


----------



## itisgoingtobefine

Yes. But does my opinion really count? :lol


----------



## beansly

I feel like all my problems would go away if only I was good looking.


----------



## poepoe

I used to think I was _okay_ looking, then my skin got all ****ed up. my boyfriend tells me that its not as bad as I think it is, but I am disgusted when I look in the mirror, and it has multiplied my SA way past what it has ever been before...


----------



## layitontheline

Yah, but I come across people in life who disagree with me, so I get by.


----------



## Mr Blues

layitontheline said:


> Yah, but I come across people in life who disagree with me, so I get by.


I would like to join the disagree crowd


----------



## Joe

yeah, but i think its only due to a lack of sleep, im under muscled and paleness due to not going out all of those i can change but reading them out its tough to change since id feel awkward going the gym and i probably have insomnia


----------



## Syndacus

Most people haven't seen ugly until they see it from within themselves.


----------



## mahina

I can't figure it out. I'm constantly comparing myself to others, even celebrities and other famous people. This feels so toxic. Sometimes I'm mildly surprised when I look in the mirror and see someone attractive looking back. Usually I'm just OK with my looks, until I leave the house and venture into the world where everyone seems better off then me (and with better hair- gosh I hate my hair!). I wish that I could let it all go and just BE.


----------



## layitontheline

Mr Blues said:


> I would like to join the disagree crowd


:squeeze


----------



## trendyfool

I'm pretty sure I'm not ugly per se. But sometimes I feel like I could never be sexy, or attractive, or handsome.


----------



## sweetcupcake

Pretty much. I have a chubby babyface that i'll never be able to get rid of no matter how old i get haha


----------



## Innamorata

I feel ugly, maybe I'm not, I don't really care at the moment.


----------



## ShyGuy86

trendyfool said:


> I'm pretty sure I'm not ugly per se. But sometimes I feel like I could never be sexy, or attractive, or handsome.


This!
Lol, sometimes I jokingly say "I'm hideous in this picture", and get "Aw! You're not hideous! ... ". Period. Never has anyone added "in fact, you look quite handsome". Go me, I'm not hideous.


----------



## calichick

Without makeup yes.


----------



## softshock11

my reflection bothers me sometimes :stu


----------



## Rainbowmuffin

I simply class myself as plain. :|


----------



## Innamorata

ShyGuy86 said:


> This!
> Lol, sometimes I jokingly say "I'm hideous in this picture", and get "Aw! You're not hideous! ... ". Period. Never has anyone added "in fact, you look quite handsome". Go me, I'm not hideous.


Liar.


----------



## ShyGuy86

Innamorata said:


> Liar.


Correction, no one's who's actually met me ever told me that. Thanks for pointing out the imprecision. I shouldn't have ignored your opinion. It was cruel of me, unnecessarily so.


----------



## rgrwng

i am ugly, and i refuse to do anything about it.


----------



## Innamorata

ShyGuy86 said:


> Correction, no one's who's actually met me ever told me that. Thanks for pointing out the imprecision. I shouldn't have ignored your opinion. It was cruel of me, unnecessarily so.


You are cruel.


----------



## Freiheit

Overall I think I look average but ugly on the inside.


----------



## Innamorata

I'm going to work on it, I don't want to be ugly.


----------



## Clint Westwood

i don't just think it, i know it. It is what it is though so i try not to dwell on it.


----------



## sammyandlucy

Yes i do


----------



## a degree of freedom

At a disadvantage is all ^^


----------



## leave me alone

I dont know. I dont really like myself.

It annoys me that i look fine on some pics, but totally awful on others.


----------



## Dead Leaves

Sometimes.


----------



## Elleire

My body is absolutely repulsive; I'm shaped like an obese linebacker with breasts, and all covered in stretchmarks to boot... among a few other disgusting and humiliating problems I won't mention. I don't think my face is hideous, not that it does me any good perched on a body like this one, of course. I don't _love_ it, to be sure, and there's much I'd change about it if I could, but I think I've largely made my peace with it. Having said that though, however grotesque my body is, my "personality" (if I could even call it that), is what is truly _vile_. I'm not a good person at all.


----------



## SAgirl

Phloemek, I've seen pics and everyone always comments how pretty you are.


----------



## xbignoser91

I used to be, but i got plastic surgery. I used to have a HUGE nose, small chin, and big lips. I had plastic surgery for all three. It was a huge success and my confidence is sky high now...but i still have social anxiety due to my lack of social skills as a result of the years of being ugly.

Here are my before/after pics...pic 1 is the before surgery pic
http://http://s987.photobucket.com/albums/ae352/spartandude1991/?start=all


----------



## standing in the rain

most of the time yes and the rest of the time average.


----------



## humourless

No....but if I feel tired and uptight I even doubt my hot body and loveable face are just that


----------



## Marakunda

Sometimes I feel like a monster, sometimes I feel like a sexy beast... lol, I dunno, I think I just need a little work. I've got dry skin and pretty bushy eyebrows, but at least those can change right? But I've also got good hair (imo) and good bone structure, so.

I don't think I'm all THAT ugly...


----------



## wanderinginwonderland

It's funny but after all these years I still don't know. Lots of people have said that I was attractive yet lots of girls ignore me and I feel like why would they do that if I was attractive. So I am always going back and forth with maybe I am maybe I am not.


----------



## samuel89

clos


----------



## Aries33

i actually look at old photos of myself when i was 10 years younger and wonder to myself how good looking i was, now when i look in the mirror i see a fat tummy  and wonder what i should do with my hair, i blame the damn afghani hairdressers down the road for ****ing my hair up every time i go there they never cut the back the way i want it, every time i see them i wonder if they understand english or not(Cut my hair so short) at present i want long hair but that means Im going to have to grow it out but i cant wait, today after my exposure walk at the clinic i walked into the bathroom because i had to blow my nose i looked up in the mirror and just noticed how ugly my hair looked, i said to myself i need a hair cut, i do look a whole lot cleaner with short hair but i don't want those fukn arabs cutting my hair though they only charge me 10 bucks i wont go to another hairdresser , yes i have days where i look in the mirror over and over again and take pictures on my phone then analyse each shot, i look fat in the face , well i use to be fat because of fukn medication since then i lost 20 kgs, i stopped exercising as well, Im 6ft2 and feel as though i have a fat face and fat gut, i look like nerd when my hair grows out its all fukn wavy ****


----------



## ktbare

No, I just think I don't put enough effort into trying to look good.


----------



## worldcitizen

I'm quite ugly but I've gotten used to it


----------



## dlennr

Sometimes I think I look ok, but I am really self-conscious about a lot of my features. It doesn't matter how many people tell me I am pretty, I think they are all crazy. I once briefly dated a guy that I met in a mall. The first time I saw him staring at me and smiling, I thought there must be something on my face or my clothes; it didn't even occur to me that he just found me attractive. I still don't get it, and I'm married. Oddly, I don't even like to hear him say that I'm beautiful; it makes me uncomfortable.


----------



## hikarikami

I've always thought I was average looking at best, but never really considered myself ugly. But then at school I was constantly told how ugly I was, and now 15 years on I still get quite a few comments based on how unattractive I am, both from people I'm close with and even from the occasional random person who likes to go out of their way to make people feel bad.

I dunno, I don't really understand it. All I can say is I've accepted that I fall in the general catagory of being _ugly_ and have started focusing my efforts on removing looks from being high priority - so far with little success. I try to pretend that it doesn't bother me but I can still feel the feelings there controling my thoughts. I guess it's pretty much programmed into people to an extent. But I'll get there one day I hope!


----------



## Karuni

Posted in here before, but I just want to update since being thrust into the disaster of college socialization. 

I feel a lot worse about my appearance now. My acne has literally exploded on my chin, and has been the worst it ever has. I have to wear concealer everytime I go out or I can't. I've just started using this acne cleanser stuff so I hope it'll help. There are so many girls on this campus who look like super models compared to me, there's absolutely zero chance guys notice me. 

My body isn't absolutely hideous, but it's nothing to be proud of either. I'm becoming overweight (or am already there), and have no curves or anything. Barely a chest if it's even noticeable. My only hope is to start jogging regularly soon so I can get rid of these disgusting thighs.


----------



## Snow Bunny

Yes I'm not nice to look at and it definately holds me back. Sometimes you feel like if you are confident and put yourself in the spotlight as it were, it makes you an easy target for someone and turn round and use your bad looks as ammunition against you. It's easier to be the quiet unnattractive girl in the corner who nobody notices than to put yourself out there and know people are automatically judging you for your looks.


----------



## Joe

I think im ugly but I think honestly I can change it if i truly tried.


----------



## thankyouberry

Some days I think I look great and some days I feel like a pile of poo. I swear my face changes on me when I'm not looking.


----------



## sas111

thankyouberry said:


> Some days I think I look great and some days I feel like a pile of poo. I swear my face changes on me when I'm not looking.


^:yes My face changes too, hah. I feel like i'm looking like complete trash lately, with the pale skin, mop hair, dull face, ect. Hopefully i'll start looking/feeling better soon.


----------



## lonelywoman

I think i look ill, probably a witch cause my nose is big. My skin is pale. Make up doesnt help the problem, have experimented with it for years. If i do some mascara it looks like i have been crying cause my lashes are too long, with eyeliner i look like a vampire, foundation shows and makes my nose shiny, powder foundation doesnt work for me either. I also tried tanning but it didnt make me prettier. I was still ugly. My hair is a chaos. I take very good care of it now, but i cant tame it. 
I just dont look healthy, Ive tried a lot and nothing works cause my features are just not good, especially my nose which is the main reason for my uglyness.


----------



## thankyouberry

lonelywoman said:


> I think i look ill, maybe even like a wich cause my nose is big. My hair is dark and my skin is pale. Make up doesnt help the problem, have experimented with it for years. If i do some mascara it looks like i have been crying cause my lashes are too long, with eyeliner i look like a vampire, foundation shows and makes my nose shiny. My features are just not right, my skintone is not right my hair is a chaos. I take very good care of it now, but i cant tame it. I just dont look healthy, Ive tried a lot and nothing works


Vampires are sexy. :b


----------



## keyla965

i hate looking in the mirror too. To answer your question, yes. I do indeed think that im the ugliest peice of **** to ever walk the earth. You might think that that was to harsh but i sure dont. that wasnt an exageration. Im ugly. Somtimes im happy that im ugly becuse if i were cute or hot people would stare at me and then my anxiety would get a hell of a lot worse then it already is. So being ugly works for me.


----------



## QuietScream

I don't think I'm ugly, and I think I can be pretty handsome when I put in the effort to clean myself up. However, I'm still extremely insecure and have a really bad habit of comparing myself to friends/random people. Some days I'll look in the mirror and be fine and others I'm just like wtf..


----------



## itisgoingtobefine

My grandparents told me I'm hansom. I think my mom said I'm a nice looking young man. But aside from that, people at school told me "your ugly" :stu Since there is nothing I can do about it. I just keep myself clean and get on with life.


----------



## jamie38

I don't think I'm ugly. Sometimes I do wonder what life would be like knowing you're really attractive. I feel like I wouldn't have anywhere as near as much anxiety because I would feel instantly accepted upon meeting new people or being in public just because most people instantly judge you (even unconsciously) on your appearance.

But I do think most people can look good even if they are not necessarily good looking. Especially guys. If you just get a cool haircut - I particularly like dark with short side burns and long-ish on top, short on the sides - you can look attractive. And if you work out and take care of yourself and it shows.


----------



## Event Horizon

thank god i have my wonderfully ****ty personality to compensate for my ugliness.


----------



## incito

It depends on the day for me. Most of the time, yes.


----------



## Perkins

I think I can look pretty once my skin isn't such a mess and my eyebrows are neatly manicured and my hair isn't such a disaster. THEN I will look at the mirror and reflect positively by not cringing.


----------



## Cat Montgomery

Women don't seem to be attracted to me, so yes. 
I do.


----------



## laura024

keyla965 said:


> i hate looking in the mirror too. To answer your question, yes. I do indeed think that im the ugliest peice of **** to ever walk the earth. You might think that that was to harsh but i sure dont. that wasnt an exageration. Im ugly. Somtimes im happy that im ugly becuse if i were cute or hot people would stare at me and then my anxiety would get a hell of a lot worse then it already is. So being ugly works for me.


For the record, I think you're beautiful.


----------



## Iced

My mirror is ugly, time to hit up Ikea.


----------



## ndh505

No. I regard myself as fairly attractive, as a matter of fact. As a child I used to believe I was a grotesque monster, and even though everyone told me otherwise I managed to convince myself that they were simply pitying me. Now I have no idea how on earth I could even conceive it.


----------



## Hamster

i was ugly when i was younger, but i'm learning new life experiences and becoming a more responsible person. so i think i'm a good-looking person so far. hopefully when i'm older and gain more knowledge, i'll be beautiful.


----------



## secreta

Nobody has never called me ugly, but I know I am. I have horrible acne. I try to hide it by putting a huge amount of makeup, but it still looks bad.
I hate my body too, I'm very short, too skinny and breastless and that makes me look like 12 years old


----------



## WalkingDisaster

keyla965 said:


> i hate looking in the mirror too. To answer your question, yes. I do indeed think that im the ugliest peice of **** to ever walk the earth. You might think that that was to harsh but i sure dont. that wasnt an exageration. Im ugly. Somtimes im happy that im ugly becuse if i were cute or hot people would stare at me and then my anxiety would get a hell of a lot worse then it already is. So being ugly works for me.


If that's you in your profile pic, you are definitely not ugly, in fact you are very good-looking.


----------



## WalkingDisaster

secreta said:


> Nobody has never called me ugly, but I know I am. I have horrible acne. I try to hide it by putting a huge amount of makeup, but it still looks bad.
> I hate my body too, I'm very short, too skinny and breastless and that makes me look like 12 years old


If that's you in your profile pic, you're very good-looking, and I can't see any acne. My acne is a lot worse than that. A lot of guys (me included) prefer short and skinny to tall anyway.


----------



## Disconnected

I don't know, I suppose I'm fairly decent looking. But in a kind of shallow way, that makes me feel worse at times because I struggle to talk confidently to girls and get girls in general.. and I know it's mainly because of my personality, or lack of personality rather than my looks that hold me back..

Sometimes I think people would maybe paint a prettier picture of me but I obviously fall short of that in a social sense and I dissapoint them in some way.


----------



## Joe H

Yeah, i am ugly


----------



## Tugwahquah

keyla965 said:


> i hate looking in the mirror too. To answer your question, yes. I do indeed think that im the ugliest peice of **** to ever walk the earth. You might think that that was to harsh but i sure dont. that wasnt an exageration. Im ugly. Somtimes im happy that im ugly becuse if i were cute or hot people would stare at me and then my anxiety would get a hell of a lot worse then it already is. So being ugly works for me.


Aw...you are very cute!!!
___________________________

I'm not ugly on the inside, and that's all that matters to me. :b


----------



## aycaramba

I don't think I'm ugly, but I do think I got a funny look. I got the body shape of an anorectic Goofy with an elongated egg head. I think this definitely has affected my confidence. Also, on top of my professional swimmer's body, I used to have glasses and braces before which didn't help my confidence. I got rid of those, but the spaghetti-frame and the egg head remains so even if I'm joking about my looks and trying not to think about, I'm often conscious about it when interacting with others.


----------



## blue the puppy

i dont think i'm ugly _per se_, but i dont think i look 'normal' either. whenever i start to think i look ok, i see someone else and i think im funny looking compared to them.


----------



## TheShine

I notice little things about myself that no one seems to clue in on. For example, my face is asymmetrical and it drives me crazy. However, when I tell people this --people I've known for years-- they don't see it. 
As for the original question, I haven't been called ugly in years (I was nearly everyday as a child, kids are mean) but I still feel subpar on some days.


----------



## FastLad

I do think that, I've had tohers tell em I'm not but I always think they're being polite or trying to make me feel better. Guess I'll be stuck with this internal image of myself no matter what anyone says ^^


----------



## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin

I'm not the worst looking guy on the planet.


----------



## MoniqueS

The feeling comes and goes. I just feel like I'm fat all the time and that makes me feel ugly. I just get into a habit of comparing myself to other girls and I don't feel good in comparison.


----------



## mrbojangles

Hamster said:


> i was ugly when i was younger, but i'm learning new life experiences and becoming a more responsible person. so i think i'm a good-looking person so far. hopefully when i'm older and gain more knowledge, i'll be beautiful.


I love your avatar


----------



## someguy8

Best Looking


----------



## Christina123

I no longer think I'm ugly, well, with makeup that is. With cleaning my face with a cleanse regime that fits my skin and having learned the wonder that is highlighting, I look presentable in with makeup. However, without makeup= bleh bleh bleh.


----------



## olesilentone

Conflicted. At times I think perhaps I have appeal to certain gals, but ultimately I tend to think I give the impression of being a creep of sorts anyways and that negates any positive feelings.


----------



## CourtneyB

:no nope


----------



## rdrr

if you think you are ugly an easy way to find out is to make a thread, with your pics and ask the users of sas how you look.


----------



## northstar1991

I'm happy with my looks but not conceited.


----------



## Hello22

meh, im nothing to write home about


----------



## Hamster

mrbojangles said:


> I love your avatar


aw thanks


----------



## SeeMeWhenImInvisible

i feel ugly most of the time, but ive learned to understand that beauty is subjective. some people will find my ugly, and others will find me attractive. maybe if i try, i can be one of those people who finds me attractive...that's really the only person im trying to win over =/


----------



## RmZ

I have no idea :blank Sometimes I look at photos and in the mirror and think I look quite good and then other times I just think eugh. I've never ever been called ugly though, Even by my worst enemies so I suppose that counts for something.


----------



## yourboileroy

**** NO!! im hotter than the desert in the summer!!!


----------



## jamesarcher

I know I am. Someone once asked a 'friend' of mine and I if we were going out when I was in school and she said "EW! Haha!!!"... I had someone look at a photo I was in for a friend's portfolio and she said "I'm glad you didn't use a perfectly good looking person." ... plus many other sitautions. I've also got no reason to think I'm good looking. No-ones said anything, no-one has ever complimented me on how I look... so, clearly I'm pretty ugly.


----------



## WinterIsComing

I feel very ugly most of the time...but I have had lots of girls tell me I'm handsome.

I usually tell myself they are just being nice.


----------



## humourless

Cmon. Do I look ugly?


----------



## timmit

I hate looking at myself and hate getting pictures taken of me that can make me depressed for days


----------



## shelbster18

timmit said:


> I hate looking at myself and hate getting pictures taken of me that can make me depressed for days


Same here. The pictures taken of me in the past 4 or 5 years look like crap. I used to look decent and never really cared about how I looked. I can't stand to have people take pictures of me at all. It just makes me more depressed.


----------



## Kuhle

Most of the time. There are times when I think I look better than usual, but I still look far from attractive.


----------



## iChoseThisName

If I got a haircut, shaved and smiled properly without looking weird, I may look somewhat kind of halfway decent. Kind of....


----------



## Innamorata

Nope.


----------



## Squiggledibble1

Everyone here seems to believe so adamantly that they're "ugly". I feel as though I'm going to be the only one on this forum to be saying differently.

Rationally, I believe that I am quite attractive. 

But looks are seriously not the issue. It doesn't matter whether I look "good" or not, the fact is that I will ruminate on every tiny little detail, and catastrophize about it. I will constantly be reassuring myself about how I look, and constantly comparing myself to others. The problem, I believe, is that I never hit puberty until I was 16. I've spent such an enormous amount of time rationally knowing that I was more mature and adult-like than others, but looking a good 4 years younger than my peers. This led me to believe that I was forever inadequate.

Even if I believe I'm 'better looking' than another person, I'm still swarmed with thoughts of inadequacy. 

The point is this:
Your looks are not the problem. What you believe about yourself is likely cognitive distortion about yourself that blows things way out of proportion. 

Everybody is 'ugly' in this regard. We are strange looking human beings with weird things called 'arms', weird things called 'faces' and other strange things. Deal with it. 

It's all about how you think.


----------



## Pialicious88

yeah without make up i look like s***


----------



## CynicalOptimist

I feel I am much of the time, although there are times I feel I look half-decent or even kinda cute. Usually this slight boost in self-confidence I momentarily hold toward my looks doesn't last long as I realize how unattractive I seem to come off as to others, in particular guys, since no one seems to find me attractive at all, and "decent" guys don't approach me or even look at me. I just occasionally get the attention of the typical creepy, pervy guys who clearly want "one thing" and don't care much who they get it from as long as they get laid...so ya...basically desperate creeps who would bonk anything that walks pretty much and even this happens rarely.  Sigh


----------



## GaaraAgain

I know I am, but I'm just not sure *how* ugly I am. I try not to let it bother me though.

ETA: I'm not sure if I'm disfigured looking ugly or just regular old ugly or just plain-looking. I guess it depends on your perspective but I'm definitely ugly.


----------



## fonz

Yeah,I am - inside and out


----------



## tohellandback

Yeah I'm not really easy on the eyes. I can tell when I walk down the sidewalk and whenever I walk past a woman she goes out of her way to look completely away from me in the opposite direction. That tends to piss me off quite a bit because I don't get it. When you see an unattractive person walking toward you, you don't swivel your head 180 degrees right as you pass.


----------



## SupaDupaFly

Yes...


----------



## Josh90

No, I think I'm weird looking.


----------



## GioUK

i wouldnt say i was ugly, just distinctly average looking.


----------



## sweetD

No. Some people find me attractive. My body isn't wonderful but I'm sure someone out there would appreciate it.


----------



## confinedbyanxiety

*very interesting question...*

I think that we ALWAYS have to have something to yearn for... even though we all just want to be at the finish and be happy with where we are at.

I used to be slightly overweight and thought everyone was staring/judging and I HATED trying on clothes, walking in front of people,etc.

Then I lost a lot of weight and would probably be considered "skinny" and now I look in the mirror and don't appreciate the figure I always wanted to have and now have.. but instead see a less full, old looking face.

We are never satisfied (some of us, me included) and are always just wanting to change/improve ONE more thing about our physical appearance or life. Sometimes I think it is a terrible curse so never just ACCEPT and be happy with, and see the BEAUTY in ourselves.. but other times.. in some weird way, maybe it keeps us striving to be better?? Not sure.:no


----------



## andy1984

no, i don't think i'm ugly. i feel unattractive often. my hair goes crazy sometimes. maybe a bit below average.


----------



## Scarlet Tanager

Yes, I do think i'm ugly. I don't exactly know why.


----------



## rnotlee

No, I'm pretty. Pretty ugly! Yeah no, I don't think I'm outright ugly. But I don't think I'm outright pretty either. Just in between.


----------



## trendyfool

I'm not ugly. I know that. When I feel bad about the way I look, it's not because I think I'm ugly--it's because I think I'm *not attractive at all*--like, that I look "lame" or "awkward" etc. It's partly about the way I dress and partly about the attitude my posture/facial expression conveys.


----------



## Cashew

I feel attractive when I'm alone. Too bad that feeling ditches me when I'm not alone :roll


----------



## Brianiscool

I feel pretty attractive. I think a lot of girls are intimidated by my looks so it must be hard for hem to approach me.


----------



## beansly

I feel more and more ugly everyday.


----------



## Nap0d

no


----------



## JGreenwood

I know I'm ugly.


----------



## pehrj

I think I'm about average.


----------



## Aries33

Well i'm very self conscious of my looks I'm always looking in the mirror at myself saying if only your hair was longer or that if only i had my beard grown back i'd be better looking, yes i do have days where i do feel ugly


----------



## Monroee

Right now I feel very ugly.


----------



## lonely metalhead

:squeeze


EarlGreyDregs said:


> Right now I feel very ugly.


----------



## SHYGIRLAJB

Yes I still am.


----------



## anthrotex

I don't think I'm ugly, but I think everyone else thinks I'm ugly.


----------



## shana

I hate to say it, but yeah, I do. I don't like looking in mirrors or getting my photo taken, because when I do i think I look awkard and unattractive, and just weird. It would probably help to lose weight though.


----------



## Class

As much as my parents try to reinforce that belief, I don't _feel_ pretty.
Damn acne.


----------



## Relz

Yes. The ugliest.
And it annoys me to no end when people who claim to be ugly post pictures and really aren't.
I'm skinny but ugly. I feel like my body is a repulsive amalgamation of all the worst features of my parents. Big nose, weird head shape, butt chin, manshoulders (I'm female) plus other weird proportion issues and the like. Being black doesn't help either since dark=ugly to most people. :stu
I've had people ask me out as a joke. I have long hair that I usually keep tied back, but I get mistaken for a guy and called "sir" until I turn into a position where they can see I have boobs. =/


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

I think I'm very average looking.


----------



## Boring Loser

Sometimes I think I'm ugly, sometimes I don't.


----------



## arnie

just on the inside...


----------



## MyCogitate

My opinion is beauty is not comes from face but only by the heart they possess..


----------



## Rick189

Probably, (Any constructive comments would be much appreciated if you wanna check me out). Lol =/


----------



## Koloz

I'm a goblin


----------



## LoneWolf111

yes i feel ugly most of the time. i feel ugly for thinking im ugly and then i feel uglier. its a horrible cycle and it hurts so much. worst of all, i feel i am ugly on the inside.


----------



## whatevzers

Yes. Some days, just a little less than other days.


----------



## Toppington

I think I have the potential to look decent, but I don't bother putting much effort into it when I never leave the house for more than a walk anyway. Losing all of this weight by the end of summer will probably help quite a bit too, but I'll definitely always be average at my very best. I wish I was one of those guys that can literally roll out of bed and walk outside while still being able to stun people with their looks. You take what you can get, I suppose. I don't have much of a right to complain when I don't work hard at looking good in the first place. What does frustrate me is I cannot get rid of my acne, no matter what I do. It'd boost my confidence in my looks a lot if I could just be completely rid of it, but nothing works. Most things make it worse, honestly. I also look ****ing terrible in pictures when compared to a mirror.


----------



## JGreenwood

Yep. Ugliest person on SAS.


----------



## Voidstarlit

no, i think i am gorgeous


----------



## Awkto Awktavious

5/10 at best. But I'm ok with that


----------



## rapidfox1

No, I look normal.


----------



## GuyMontag

Sometimes, and sometimes I feel average.


----------



## FabledHero

aubre said:


> I know I am ugly. If it makes you feel any better, I am 100% sure I am uglier than you.
> 
> It does hold me back. When I see people I assume the first thing they think about me is "Wow, he's so unnattractive."
> 
> I have never met and I can't imagine anyone uglier than myself.


Men's looks don't matter as much, personality definitely gets you further.


----------



## Emanresu

Damn, the way some people in this thread talk makes me wanna see some pictures! Sounds like we have a genuine carnivale freak-show in here!


----------



## Emanresu

FabledHero said:


> Men's looks don't matter as much, personality definitely gets you further.


And by personality they mean money.


----------



## d low

Emanresu said:


> And by personality they mean money.


Lol. Figures, thats where im going wrong.


----------



## fallen18

Somtimes I feel I look just okay but others I can't stand the way I look.


----------



## uncc91

Some of your "flaws" are exactly what make you so beautiful and unique. Where you look in the mirror and see imperfection, others see perfection and wouldn't change anything about you.


----------



## Evo

All the time. :blank


----------



## JenN2791

For the most part - no. Not sure how but I've been becoming more and more comfortable with my looks. There are some days where I feel ugly though.. seems to be the norm for most in generally.


----------



## Silent Image

I'm subpar


----------



## straightarrows

I accepted my-self!!,,, won't waste the rest of my life thinknig what others feel about me!!


----------



## JenN2791

straightarrows said:


> I accepted my-self!!,,, won't waste the rest of my life thinknig what others feel about me!!


It's exhausting isn't it? It gets to the point where you really do become terribly fed up, and do something about it (in a more positive way) by just simply not caring about what others think of your looks. These horrible feelings may drag on for years (sure did for me), but it did get to the point in recent months that I'm just fed up with how much energy it's sucked outta me...


----------



## Freiheit

Sometimes I feel about 12/10 and other days like a 3. I think my brain is playing tricks on me.


----------



## GunsnRoses

im very handsome and have had many girls tell me that. but ive noticed that that has absolutely no effect on my self confidence, even when im looking right in the mirror. What? you guys would rather me be fake and say im ugly like some of the other people here? Im just being honest, and you guys need it, because you all think that if you look good you will have super confidence. HAHA, i wish.


----------



## RavenDust

*Hell! Yes! :hide

I'm constantly obsessing over my looks, and I always have, in fact I think that's my main problem. I think that my SA wouldn't be near as bad if I had something to be confident about and I didn't look so gross.  

I hate my entire body. My face is round ( or so people say, I'm still partially in denial about it). My nose is too big , my lips are too weird looking, and my eyebrows refuse to be plucked right. And I constantly measure myself and am super paranoid about not being curvy enough to be considered attractive and not having big enough lady lumps.*


----------



## chantellabella

I've always considered myself ugly. Used to be anorexic when younger. But people now tell me I glow when I smile. I just have to remember to smile.


----------



## Laura1990

I get told I am pretty by my friends etc., but when I look in the mirror, all I can see is my flaws. I am way too self critical and obsessed with trying to be perfect, and I think that's what holds me back a lot with my SA. 
I am constantly worrying about what people think of the way I look, if they notice my flaws, if they think I am ugly. It's exhausting.


----------



## JenN2791

I actually feel pretty ugly today...


----------



## Bluemonster

Yep. There are times when I think when that bad but that feeling doesn't last long. It is worse when I am outside and I accidently see my reflection in a shop window >.<


----------



## Twelve Keyz

mezzoforte said:


> I have a butterface. :blank


what's a butterface?


----------



## SupaDupaFly

I'm not ugly I'm fugly!


----------



## InfiniteBlaze

Not only do I have an ugly nose, but my head is also badly shaped.


----------



## MrGilligan

I don't usually feel ugly. I don't often feel attractive though. Sometimes I think I look good, and sometimes I think I look kind of a mess, but hardly ever to I actually feel ugly.


----------



## minddrips

no i am a sex symbol.


----------



## MrGilligan

Twelve Keyz said:


> what's a butterface?


Sometimes people might say "she's a butterface" which would mean: "everything about her is hot, but her face." (but her face = butterface)


----------



## applesauce5482

I used to think I'm ugly A LOT, but that thought process is not constructive so now I don't see myself that way anymore.


----------



## Twelve Keyz

MrGilligan said:


> Sometimes people might say "she's a butterface" which would mean: "everything about her is hot, but her face." (but her face = butterface)


I see. I disagree then.


----------



## Laura1990

Bluemonster said:


> Yep. There are times when I think when that bad but that feeling doesn't last long. It is worse when I am outside and I accidently see my reflection in a shop window >.<


Mmm that's my problem- when I catch my reflection on a shop window and I instantly feel self conscious and uncomfortable in public after that.


----------



## RmZ

Whenever I look in the mirror all I see is the ugliest person ever. I have quite bad BDD though so I'm not even sure whats real anymore.


----------



## Teddy22

GunsnRoses said:


> im very handsome and have had many girls tell me that. but ive noticed that that has absolutely no effect on my self confidence, even when im looking right in the mirror. What? you guys would rather me be fake and say im ugly like some of the other people here? Im just being honest, and you guys need it, because you all think that if you look good you will have super confidence. HAHA, i wish.


That's interesting because I think I look super ugly, and I'm fat too and I think all it would take is looking good and my confidence shoots up high. Don't you take your chances to ask one of them out, since you say girls say you are handsome? I'm quite far from ever being considered by a girl for a date, but what may keep you from having a date?


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

no. im hot as hell.


----------



## Rachmaninoff

I'm in a pretty good mood today and quite like my appearance. Hopefully this mood lasts


----------



## inspiron1

like i said before, beauty on the external doesn't give that much confidence or success.(unless your drop dead gorgeous 1 out of 10 million)

beauty really does come on the inside. if you have a charasmatic, friendly, warmth personaility, and you branch out to people, people will love you. probably two of the people i admire the most because their socail success was a mate of mine with facial scars, and another guy i knew who was severly obese. looks are what you make of them


----------



## DarthScorpio11

honestly, some days i do, and some days i think I'm a stud. People tell me all the time that I'm attractive, but i still don't really believe it. All i see are flaws...


----------



## nycdude

Some days I do and some days i feel handsome


----------



## Ricebunnyx3

Most days I think I'm ugly, like really ugly. And then somedays I think I kind of look decent. I generally think I'm ugly, and the days I appear decent in my eyes is my mind's way of tricking me.


----------



## SambaBus

Yep. I don't think I look too bad in the mirror most of the time but when I see videos and pictures of myself, I think I look absolutely horrible. I hate how a simple reflection can make you look so different.


----------



## 50piecesteve

im just your everyday normal guy


----------



## SicilianuAmericanu

Yes, absolutely yes. I can't even stand to look at my self in the mirror or to look at picture of myself.


----------



## Evo

Yes, I think I look incredibly ugly every day.


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

I have features that make me genuinely feel as though I should be unattractive to others, and yet miraculously I have attracted girls. The last one I attracted I still felt kind of insecure about because I found her to be the most attractive out of them all. I won't ever find another one like her.


----------



## Downwiththesickness

yes and i hate it so much im fugly ugly fugly i have no hope


----------



## BoBooBoo

I think I'm average. That is until I look into a mirror or see a picture of myself then I realize that I'm not average, I'm well below average.


----------



## VelmaVonTussel

I think beauty is subjective. As for how I view myself, I have good days and bad days. I got into cosmetics so I could "correct" what I didn't like about myself and help others struggling to make the most of what they had. Now I can see beauty in just about anyone. What I've noticed in dealing with people's appearances is that everyone truly is their own worst critic. Women with flawless skin wanting to put a heavy layer of makeup to cover up whatever flaws that they "think" are there, women wanting to change their skin tone because they are "too pale", women wanting to turn back time. Basically I've noticed a lot of people seem to be comparing themselves to the airbrushed pictures we see in magazines. As much as I struggle with my own insecurities, I try to point out what is beautiful about them and try to encourage them not to beat themselves up. What one person considers flawed, another will consider just the opposite. Sometimes I feel good about trying to help others, sometimes all the pressure for perfection gets to me. 

Just remember that nobody is perfect, even if they appear that way.


----------



## Kingpin

Twelve Keyz said:


> what's a butterface?


Imagine someone like Lady Gaga.


----------



## Noesis

Nearly every day. I just have to block it out and say "screw it, who cares" to myself. I have an asymmetrical face and possibly Marfan Syndrome (not diagnosed yet), so it's difficult to overcome with social anxiety. And just as some others do, I hate seeing pictures of myself so I avoid getting them taken at all costs.


----------



## VelmaVonTussel

Kingpin said:


> Imagine someone like Lady Gaga.


See, I think she looks interesting. I like nontraditional beauty.


----------



## GunsnRoses

Teddy22 said:


> That's interesting because I think I look super ugly, and I'm fat too and I think all it would take is looking good and my confidence shoots up high. Don't you take your chances to ask one of them out, since you say girls say you are handsome? I'm quite far from ever being considered by a girl for a date, but what may keep you from having a date?


the last girl to tell me i was handsome, i tried to make out with her later in the night, but it didnt work... rejected! It sucked... i hate getting rejected, it used to make me embarrassed, but now it makes me mad... also felt like she kinda led me on by telling me i was handsome so i shoulda been like ***** I DONT WANNA KISS U ANYWAY and then did a breakdance right in front of her


----------



## GunsnRoses

inspiron1 said:


> like i said before, beauty on the external doesn't give that much confidence or success.(unless your drop dead gorgeous 1 out of 10 million)
> 
> beauty really does come on the inside. if you have a charasmatic, friendly, warmth personaility, and you branch out to people, people will love you. probably two of the people i admire the most because their socail success was a mate of mine with facial scars, and another guy i knew who was severly obese. looks are what you make of them


yea dude. ill never forget this one girl i knew in a college im now transferring away from- she was extremely obese and had horrible acne and a gross face. probably a 1.5 out of 10 at best. but she was also extremely confident, extroverted, the leader of many on campus groups/clubs and socially charming. whats more is i would always hear her speak about boyfriends and sex she was having. she is a perfect example of how your looks only play a partial role in your personality/confidence


----------



## Lucio

I don't think it, I know it. Many years of depression have taken its tow on me. I have a huge nose, nut sack style bags under my eyes, and I'm losing my hair.


----------



## Micromuffins

I think im ok, but ive been told couple of times im pretty.. :S


----------



## FabledHero

GunsnRoses said:


> yea dude. ill never forget this one girl i knew in a college im now transferring away from- she was extremely obese and had horrible acne and a gross face. probably a 1.5 out of 10 at best. but she was also extremely confident, extroverted, the leader of many on campus groups/clubs and socially charming. whats more is i would always hear her speak about boyfriends and sex she was having. she is a perfect example of how your looks only play a partial role in your personality/confidence


Haha damn she must've had a GREAT personality.

1.5/10 has to be like bottom 4-5% of the population?


----------



## JGreens

All this beauty on the inside crap is hilarious. The world is shallow. People are shallow. Inside beauty? You're already in the 'ignore' list before you've even bothered to speak. Looks are everything. That's how it is. 

I could list a dozen personal qualities that everyone would agree are beautiful - that apparently are positive. Except the one that counts above all - my reflection in the mirror. That's the part people first see. First impressions make the most lasting opinions. Wonderful. 

If inside beauty was important as people say, why aren't we happier? Because it's not!


----------



## Shouka

no I don't think I'm ugly...until I start to talk. I've seen myself talking in the mirror and I hate the way my mouth moves. It makes me look stupid and goofy. I really hate my face while talking. When I'm not talking my face looks ok I think, but the way my mouth moves makes me look ugly.


----------



## nbar

JGreens said:


> All this beauty on the inside crap is hilarious. The world is shallow. People are shallow. Inside beauty? You're already in the 'ignore' list before you've even bothered to speak. Looks are everything. That's how it is.
> 
> I could list a dozen personal qualities that everyone would agree are beautiful - that apparently are positive. Except the one that counts above all - my reflection in the mirror. That's the part people first see. First impressions make the most lasting opinions. Wonderful.
> 
> If inside beauty was important as people say, why aren't we happier? Because it's not!


Sad but true.


----------



## InfiniteBlaze

JGreens said:


> All this beauty on the inside crap is hilarious. The world is shallow. People are shallow. Inside beauty? You're already in the 'ignore' list before you've even bothered to speak. Looks are everything. That's how it is.
> 
> I could list a dozen personal qualities that everyone would agree are beautiful - that apparently are positive. Except the one that counts above all - my reflection in the mirror. That's the part people first see. First impressions make the most lasting opinions. Wonderful.
> 
> If inside beauty was important as people say, why aren't we happier? Because it's not!


I've been wanting to make a post like this for several months.

I understand that people are trying to make others feel better but in the long run, it will give them false hope if they are not physically attractive.


----------



## Octal

JGreens said:


> All this beauty on the inside crap is hilarious. The world is shallow. People are shallow. Inside beauty? You're already in the 'ignore' list before you've even bothered to speak. Looks are everything. That's how it is.
> 
> I could list a dozen personal qualities that everyone would agree are beautiful - that apparently are positive. Except the one that counts above all - my reflection in the mirror. That's the part people first see. First impressions make the most lasting opinions. Wonderful.
> 
> If inside beauty was important as people say, why aren't we happier? Because it's not!


Hard truth, best to embrace it. I like your way of thinking.


----------



## JGreens

Although the replies are, strangely, positive (Ta!) - I do want to point out that I'm not always negative and gloomy! Lolz. 

But yeah, we are a visual species (For lack of a better term) - we think visually. And for guys generally, we are very visual creatures - especially when it comes to beauty and mating. Art, for example has evolved to include various senses rather than simply visual art. Although some modern art is beyond me...

I don't think I have a negative view of myself...while I'll happy to accept that there are aspects I'm working on and improving...the acne I suffer from is powerful enough to force isolation and frustration, on days like today or weekend evenings. 

Which is why I'm here, I guess. But I don't try and build this facade of false hope...I know once I get the reception from others that I'm attractive, I'll believe it too. w


----------



## blc1

JGreens said:


> All this beauty on the inside crap is hilarious. The world is shallow. People are shallow. Inside beauty? You're already in the 'ignore' list before you've even bothered to speak. Looks are everything. That's how it is.
> 
> I could list a dozen personal qualities that everyone would agree are beautiful - that apparently are positive. Except the one that counts above all - my reflection in the mirror. That's the part people first see. First impressions make the most lasting opinions. Wonderful.
> 
> If inside beauty was important as people say, why aren't we happier? Because it's not!


This is to some extent true, but possibly misleading. The superficial first impression does make a lasting impression, but all is not lost if you're not physically beautiful, especially if you're a guy. You don't need to be beautiful to have sex appeal and land a partner and that is incontestable. I've seen not so conventionally attractive men and women with loads of sexual charisma and no shortage of romantic partners. According to Plutarch, Cleopatra, as it turns out, was not so beautiful but had lots of suitors no doubt due to her charm, seductiveness, her conversation, and presence. Attraction can be aural more than just visual.


----------



## JGreens

blc1 said:


> especially if you're a guy. You don't need to be beautiful to have sex appeal and land a partner and that is incontestable.


While I'll agree seduction and charisma are equally powerful as attraction, I don't think they're separate - part of a triangle really. You need a bit of all three for something to happen, but you can enter from any point.

I do disagree with this point. I think (And I've said it on many different forums) that society is so indoctrinated that male/masculine people should make the first move.

I shouldn't be forced to always make the first move in approaching any woman. Ladies can choose whether to go after the person they desire, or to play along to traditional stereotypes & force the other partner to jump through hoops before deciding on commiting to them or another mate. Guys do not have this choice, they are forced to pursue, aggressively compete against other mates and make the first move - only for the lady to decide whether or not she accepts.

Take another example, Fashion. While Men's fashion have largely been ignored for years and now under revival, us men do not get the same individuality & choice as ladies. There are certain 'rules' we have to follow, if you go to enough campus or city centres you'll soon find that most guys wear the same style of clothes depending on generic groups - 'indie', 'athletic', 'popular' - there is no choice.

While for ladies, individuality is key - as being caught with the same outfit is seen as a major faux pas - and when I see ladies who've built an outfit that's both attractive and individual, I feel attracted to them because of it. I can't put my own stamp on my own outfit.

I may have missed your point, but I feel it's harder for guys to get noticed than any woman.


----------



## InfiniteBlaze

JGreens said:


> Although the replies are, strangely, positive (Ta!) - I do want to point out that I'm not always negative and gloomy! Lolz.
> 
> But yeah, we are a visual species (For lack of a better term) - we think visually. And for guys generally, we are very visual creatures - especially when it comes to beauty and mating. Art, for example has evolved to include various senses rather than simply visual art. Although some modern art is beyond me...
> 
> I don't think I have a negative view of myself...while I'll happy to accept that there are aspects I'm working on and improving...the acne I suffer from is powerful enough to force isolation and frustration, on days like today or weekend evenings.
> 
> Which is why I'm here, I guess. But I don't try and build this facade of false hope...I know once I get the reception from others that I'm attractive, I'll believe it too. w





JGreens said:


> While I'll agree seduction and charisma are equally powerful as attraction, I don't think they're separate - part of a triangle really. You need a bit of all three for something to happen, but you can enter from any point.
> 
> I do disagree with this point. I think (And I've said it on many different forums) that society is so indoctrinated that male/masculine people should make the first move.
> 
> I shouldn't be forced to always make the first move in approaching any woman. Ladies can choose whether to go after the person they desire, or to play along to traditional stereotypes & force the other partner to jump through hoops before deciding on commiting to them or another mate. Guys do not have this choice, they are forced to pursue, aggressively compete against other mates and make the first move - only for the lady to decide whether or not she accepts.
> 
> Take another example, Fashion. While Men's fashion have largely been ignored for years and now under revival, us men do not get the same individuality & choice as ladies. There are certain 'rules' we have to follow, if you go to enough campus or city centres you'll soon find that most guys wear the same style of clothes depending on generic groups - 'indie', 'athletic', 'popular' - there is no choice.
> 
> While for ladies, individuality is key - as being caught with the same outfit is seen as a major faux pas - and when I see ladies who've built an outfit that's both attractive and individual, I feel attracted to them because of it. I can't put my own stamp on my own outfit.
> 
> I may have missed your point, but I feel it's harder for guys to get noticed than any woman.


6 posts and you're already one of my favorite users here. Keep speaking the truth.


----------



## JGreens

I'm so beaming right now! 
Although the irony is that I'm still sitting behind my monitor...


----------



## beansly

I know I am. I can tell the way people look at me, men have proved to me time after time that I am disgusting to look at. My mother and aunt are the only ones to ever say I am beautiful, but they are just being nice. I feel like a monster.


----------



## olesilentone

Sort of kind of. Can't really get a definite feeling about it because I really don't find myself in many pictures with other people (and I like to refrain from taking pictures of myself.) When I do show up in pictures I often think I look like a dufus amongst others. 

If I had a few things going for me in other fields I would be a bit more confident in that but for now it'd be nice to feel a bit of a boost with my looks. For now, not getting that boost. Oh well. I just feel like I stick out like a sore thumb in many ways amongst others.


----------



## Aries33

i generally think im good looking and it makes me feel good about myself but just the other day someone from this forum a girl who i called pretty said she thinks im ugly so much it really hurt so i took my pic down i couldn't believe it why would another person ever say that , you know everyone is beautiful in somebody's eyes nobody is ugly its what you think and believe about yourself what matters, it only takes one negative person to call you ugly then your scarred


----------



## Aaron0

I don't think i'm ugly but I certainly don't think i'm good looking. I've been called ugly and had even my father make comments but to be honest I don't think I am. I think my biggest detracter is my weird personality. You either like it or hate it.


----------



## TheWeeknd

Omg this thread again.......

yes I'm ugly....uglier that Freddy Kruger, uglier than Franck Ribery, and yea even uglier than the great Tyrone Hill =P. Happy? now lock this thread.


----------



## The Sleeping Dragon

I'm so ugly, when I was born the doctor took one look at me and slapped my parents.


----------



## Gusthebus

I'm somewhere in the middle some days I am ugly others I don't look too bad... I have come to terms with it yet I am still pessimistic about my looks. I figured if I am not that good looking it really don't matter if my mate is because yes you can check out an attractive person all day but it doesn't necessarily mean you will be able to hold some sort of conversation with them thats insteresting to you. But of course it is the same way with unattractive people as well you may not be able to hold a conversation with them either... 

I guess my point is I'd rather be attracted to a person's mind more than their looks. Because those fade, and are just a perk to go with a good intellectual conversation.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

I think I'm average looking.


----------



## McdonaldMiller

Yes, I think I am ugly. Other people might as well, lol. :ninja:



The Sleeping Dragon said:


> I'm so ugly, when I was born the doctor took one look at me and slapped my parents.


:clap



TheWeeknd said:


> Omg this thread again.......
> 
> yes I'm ugly....uglier that Freddy Kruger, uglier than Franck Ribery, and yea even uglier than the great Tyrone Hill =P. Happy? now lock this thread.


lol You keeping track of random ugly guys? Ive never heard of those people. Except for Kruger.


----------



## xtinatina

Shouka said:


> no I don't think I'm ugly...until I start to talk. I've seen myself talking in the mirror and I hate the way my mouth moves. It makes me look stupid and goofy. I really hate my face while talking. When I'm not talking my face looks ok I think, but the way my mouth moves makes me look ugly.


i have problem with my mouth too,i want to cover it with my hands always.it because i have crooked teeth but.i can say that no one looks at mouth while they are keeping a conversation.they look at eyes.So,while you are talking,they look at ur eyes.


----------



## 58318

Sometimes/most of the time.


----------



## xtinatina

btw yeah,i am,i have a big nose,nd crooked teeth with a weird smile.i cant smile even.i have big ears.so i have to have long hairs.dont want to talk bout body.


----------



## booored

if you only think you are ugly, which means you are unsure, you are not. true ugliness is obvious. at least that's i what i believe.

me, i know i am. when im at the store and turn around and see myself in a mirror, i honestly scare myself. sometimes i just want hide behind clothes racks and when a pretty person is near, scream BOO!!. and then watch them run off. and then ill be like 8) f*** yeah


----------



## LordScott

yes


----------



## CommanderShepard

I think we're unfair to ourselves. When I think of myself or look at a photo I think "fat disgusting cow" but if I see someone else who is fat I don't think anything of it. I don't think badly of them or think they are hideous, they are just people.


----------



## thewall

I don't think, I know.


----------



## Masked4201

depends really

photographs - i hate these they always make my face look so much fatter
mirrors - depends, some i think make me look good, others... not so much


----------



## AllToAll

No, I don't think I'm ugly, but if I did I'm certain it *would* be holding me further back in many aspects of my life.


----------



## darkninjakitten

yes and yes


----------



## tennislover84

I don't think I am the most attractive person, but when I'm thinking rationally, I know I'm not "ugly" either. I often "feel" hideous though, if that makes sense.

The problem is, I have a terrible self-image from years of being picked on when I was younger. What did the most damage was a group of girls who always made jokes about my appearance. So it took me a very long time to feel that I could possibly be attractive to women.

Being in a relationship helped a LOT with my self-image. But when it didn't work out, one of the reasons she gave for not wanting to be with me was that she wasn't sure she found me attractive. And as you can imagine, all the progress I'd made on being OK with my looks just evaporated. I'm not just back where I started, my self-image problems are even worse than before I met her. :|


----------



## CrimsonTrigger

I think I'm ugly in the recent video I made, but then again maybe that just couldn't be helped. It was super hot and my hair was just messed up that day for some reason.


----------



## McdonaldMiller

I AM UGLIER THAN EVERYONE HERE!!!1...wait I am sorry this isnt a contest is it?


----------



## natsumeri

i always think im ugly, its just recently i've been able to look at myself in the mirror and say u know there something beautiful in there I just need to bring it out,


----------



## theowakefield

Yes I think I am ugly. Today I overheard I was frightening customers away from the pub I was sat in front of.


----------



## inmytree13

I definitely think I am ugly.


----------



## seaport

blc1 said:


> This is to some extent true, but possibly misleading. The superficial first impression does make a lasting impression, but all is not lost if you're not physically beautiful, especially if you're a guy. You don't need to be beautiful to have sex appeal and land a partner and that is incontestable. I've seen not so conventionally attractive men and women with loads of sexual charisma and no shortage of romantic partners. According to Plutarch, Cleopatra, as it turns out, was not so beautiful but had lots of suitors no doubt due to her charm, seductiveness, her conversation, and presence. Attraction can be aural more than just visual.


I completely agree. Being attracted to / having chemistry with someone is one of those either-it's-there-or-it's-not deals. Physical appearance is not the crucial factor. I was once attracted to a man because he had a hearty and boisterous laugh and was very warm in his interactions with people.


----------



## Luka92

Sometimes. I usually think I'm average looking.


----------



## Orchestrated

Uuuhhh... I'm a little funny lookin'. So... yeah and no. Sometimes I look halfway decent. 

Not too bothered by it though. Mostly.


----------



## MikeW

I don't think so, girls say I'm cute and I'm going to take their word for it. Sometimes in pictures or the mirror I don't see it but other times I do, it is definitely tied in with confidence.


----------



## CityLights89

I kind of hate the way I look sometimes. Then when people tell me how beautiful I am, I think they are ****ting me.


----------



## scaliesmark

I don't "think" that I'm ugly, but I "feel" like I'm ugly, if that makes any sense. I can look at myself in the mirror and see that I'm not bad looking, but I just don't feel that way. Heck, even when other people tell me that I'm not ugly, I don't feel that way even when i believe that they're being honest and really feel that way.

I don't know, maybe it's less that I feel that I'm ugly, and more that I feel like I'm damaged goods because of things in my past.


----------



## whatevzers

Yeah, most days. But its my fault though because I decide weather I want to put in effort that day or not.


----------



## CommanderShepard

If I were pretty I wouldn't be 27 going on 28 and never had a boyfriend >_<


----------



## Omoidekozo

ohgodipissedmyself said:


> Of course. You wouldn't have social anxiety if you weren't ugly.


I've met some pretty attractive withdrawn people.

I'm, on most days, quite okay with how I look. I think I fall in the realm of supremely average though.

Somehow, European people think I am handsome.


----------



## Vincent Law

CommanderShepard said:


> If I were pretty I wouldn't be 27 going on 28 and never had a boyfriend >_<


Have you ever try asking guys out?

or are you one of those self-entitled princess who thinks every man must approach them?


----------



## tennislover84

Vincent that is a very cruel thing to say. If you're going to ask somebody a question like that, you could wait for the answer before you start judging.

And this is a social anxiety forum remember? Girls with social anxiety probably find it difficult to approach people because of their anxiety, don't you think?


----------



## Shouka

CommanderShepard said:


> If I were pretty I wouldn't be 27 going on 28 and never had a boyfriend >_<


I don't think that's the reason. I've seen many 'ulgy' people have boyfriends or girlfriends, and sometimes really beautiful people who are still single. In your profile pic you look really nice also. I think it's more to do with SA.


----------



## Shouka

*ugly I meant, not ulgy


----------



## CommanderShepard

Vincent Law said:


> Have you ever try asking guys out?
> 
> or are you one of those self-entitled princess who thinks every man must approach them?


I can't even order food if I'm by myself. There's no way I could do that. Why would anyone say yes anyway, guys don't even look at me that way.


----------



## MsDaisy

I look a lot better after a few glasses of wine.


----------



## Skttrbrain

I really do and never having had a boyfriend confirms this.


----------



## CommanderShepard

Skttrbrain said:


> I really do and never having had a boyfriend confirms this.


*sisfist!*


----------



## thomasjune

I dont think im ugly. SA has nothing to do with how you look


----------



## Vincent Law

CommanderShepard said:


> I can't even order food if I'm by myself. There's no way I could do that. Why would anyone say yes anyway, guys don't even look at me that way.


I don't think you look that bad. ( looking at your face pic )


----------



## millyxox

No, but when I do compare myself to other women then yes haha. Oh well, it dosen't bother me much. But I remember when I was in high school, I used to feel butt ugly but then I actually took the time to fix myself & put on some eyeliner & style my hair.


----------



## Omoidekozo

"Younger women tend to me more so when they are, or so I feel"


----------



## fayle128

Macimate said:


> They're emotional in thought and action. Furthermore, they aren't capable of love at all. It's a lie that women are romantics.


It sounds like you're projecting :no


----------



## Han500

I'm 20 and still a virgin. I think that proves enough.


----------



## tea111red

I could look better.


----------



## Jessie203

How I feel about how I look depends on my self esteem atm

I usually just feel average, nothin' special


----------



## Farideh

sometimes whenever i would look at myswelf in pictures, i would think i am so ugly but then i would look at myself in the mirror and think that i am okay looking. not beautiful or pretty, but okay looking.


----------



## The Sleeping Dragon

I know I'm ugly. I've never received a compliment by a women. Almost 30 never been in a relationship. Enough said. Forever alone. Weeeeeee. Might as a well enjoy the bright side of it. FREEDOM!

Holy **** I just turned my depressed thoughts into a positive. That's a first.


----------



## telepathic

I tend to think that I am ugly and unattractive despite getting stared at by numerous girls/women that I encounter. I have also been told by women that I'm handsome, but sometimes I believe it is just a ploy because I'm 24 years old and never have been in a relationship. 

But, this is my fault as I've never tried to approach girls and talk because I get shy and nervous around them. The girls that tried talking to me found me too quiet and ultimately, I often got ignored.

:rain


----------



## Questiona

Yes I think I'm ugly and that's one of the main reasons why I have SA and depression. I do my everything to cover my ugliness with makeup and nice clothes, but it's not enough..


----------



## Deserted

The only time I feel beautiful is when I intently starve myself.


----------



## cybernaut

No, just too damn self conscious on my physical appearance..such as the way I do my hair, clothes I wear/my overall style, etc. I also tend to compare myself to other women and never been in a relationship yet.


----------



## missingno

Nope average at best is me and I'm fine with it.


----------



## I wish i was normal

Hard to answer really. I don't get compliments, but nor do i get called ugly either, so i used to just assume i was average. However, i am soon to turn 25, have never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, and get no attention from girls whatsoever. So this does make me feel that i'm not average afterall.


----------



## Masked4201

Some of you are just overreacting here. There's a difference between being ugly and not looking like a model. This is what the media does to you. If you don't look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie you're automatically made to believe that you're ugly.


----------



## ElvisLives

Sometimes i feel goodlooking, sometimes i feel ugly. Mostly the second.


----------



## jay l

Basically.


----------



## GD8

when I look in the mirror, no.
when I see pictures of me, hell yes.


----------



## cybernaut

^^ Lol, same here.


----------



## UnderTheSurface

Yes, I do. And now is even worse, cause I decided to cut my hair. Bad option.


----------



## Owl Eyes

yes, but with some make-up I feel a little bit better though


----------



## Invisigirl

Ugh, I hate pictures. I'm not very photogenic, so when I look at a picture of myself I want to run it through a paper shredder. Looking in mirrors isn't as bad though. It depends on the lighting.


----------



## Invisiblehandicap

No. Does it make me feel confident? NO. Has it stopped people from treating me like garbage in the past? NO. I don't want to be used for sex, so I don't see how being physically attractive is so great. I'd much rather not have SA and GAD.


----------



## Ramon

No. Just not good enough to attract anyone.


----------



## Jennifer Clayton

Might as well be. I don't ever get asked out. I look in the mirror and I see average looking, I see insecure, brokenhearted girl. Maybe if I wasn't so insecure, I wouldn't be alone. But I wouldn't be insecure if I wasn't lonely in the first place!

Fml.


----------



## jamgirl90

Yeah sometimes i think that i am ugly and if i wasnt I would have have friends and a boyfriend by now. I do a lot of comparing myself to other girls and sometimes it really drives me crazy.


----------



## zaph

Yes and it sucks. People lie about this, give bull**** platitudes about not judging a book by its cover. The reality is, that looks are very important. Unless you have a standup comedy standard of humour or another talent, poor looks are difficult to overcome. I'm a short, skinny guy, with at best a funny looking face. Women ignore me and men give less respect than bigger guys.

It would be nice to say that I have overcome this, but I haven't. Not having a girlfriend is a big issue for me and my looks mean that girls never give me a chance.


----------



## CrimsonRaven

I use to think I was ugly, like bag over my head ugly, but not anymore. I actually think I am fairly attractive. Am I pretty enough to be in Miss America, no. But I still say I'm pretty good looking.


----------



## masspanik

I think my face is deformed


----------



## masspanik

http://imgur.com/TYkV0


----------



## GD8

^ you're ****ing good looking dude and you also have great hair (no **** lol), why would you think that?


----------



## mdiada

Well, I used to think I was disgustingly ugly because of how many people would tease me over my appearance (I've always been overweight). Now, I'm not really sure. On good days, I find myself fairly attractive; bad days, it goes back to being disgustingly ugly.


----------



## InfiniteBlaze

Sometimes I feel as if people look at me and think that I never take showers.


----------



## masspanik

GD8 said:


> ^ you're ****ing good looking dude and you also have great hair (no **** lol), why would you think that?


well I was raised of high standards if my face isnt my body is for sure :/



http://imgur.com/LlYyz


----------



## Xenos

Yeah, I'm pretty bad looking. I don't like it. Some of it's my own fault - I've never really been able to figure out what to do with my hair - but mostly it's just genes.

I'll probably lose the hair soon anyway, so at least one problem will be solved.


----------



## masspanik

Is my body bad?


----------



## GD8

masspanik said:


> Is my body bad?


no lol


----------



## masspanik

wtf how dude look at my chest


----------



## GD8

masspanik said:


> wtf how dude look at my chest


I honestly don't see anything wrong with you, I think you're just fishing for compliments


----------



## masspanik

lmao


----------



## masspanik

I'm sexy and I know it :')


----------



## KramersHalfSister

I used to think I was ugly but I've come a long way. I don't think I'm sexy or anything but I do think I'm cute. I've accepted and embraced a lot of things that I used to hate about myself and it's amazing how much my self image has changed.


----------



## ApathyDivine

I think I am rather average looking, but a number of things make me appear hideous. Like my bad skin, and I am overweight..


----------



## MoonlightSky

No, I think I'm average looking.


----------



## TheTruthIsOutThere

I have this bump on my forehead that makes my face really ugly. There is a depression above my brow then a bump. It makes me look like a neanderthal.


----------



## loneyakuza

masspanik said:


> Is my body bad?


Bro you need to hit the weights. Start dumbbell benching. PM me if you need help.

--------

I don't think I'm bad looking. In fact I think I'm slightly above average. It's just that in the USA, you are automatically thought of as ugly if you are Asian.


----------



## Furious Ming

Sometimes no, most of the time yes.


----------



## Imbored21

I have some nice features and might be considered cute but i am in no way attractive.


----------



## rawrguy

Yes. Fat, bald, and fugly :blank


----------



## SkySlip

Depends on my mood and acne.


----------



## tagatanong

I was walking on the streets with confidence. I meet a lot of people along the way to school. Then accidentally I looked up on a mirror and get dissapointed. It always happen to me and my day become ruined.


----------



## Confused123

I no Im ugly I just hate thinking about it , ugly fat and Worthless !!!!! i hate my self


----------



## No Real Help

Most of the time, yes.


----------



## Mauricio5

Sometimes. Im always one of the better looking people at wal mart but who isnt? haha


----------



## januarygirl

I'm not beautiful but I'm not hideous. I guess I'm just a plain Jane. 
Dealt with a lot of people (family and friends) comparing me to my sister who is the "more beautiful and fashionable one." Doesn't bother me since I think I've come to accept the way I am and that it will never change.


----------



## pythonesque

No. But still, some days I feel like I can't face the world looking like that.


----------



## Reveriie

Most of the time I think I am ugly. And whenever I think i look ok while in public, ill see myself in a reflection and it all goes down the drain from there. I hate looking at myself yet I'm constantly looking for my reflection.


----------



## yafit96

i dont think im ugly, but i dont think im good looking, im average


----------



## lost91

Not to sound cocky but no. Girls have told me I look cute/handsome/hot but if only they knew what I go through...


----------



## AceRimmer

Well I look like Gollum...


----------



## shivecs

As far as I can tell I possess no attractive physical traits. I used to think my hair was ok , but then of course recently it started to go.


----------



## riptide991

AceRimmer said:


> Well I look like Gollum...


Pre or post ring?


----------



## riptide991

I used to think i'm ugly growing up. When i was young I was always confused as a chick. It didn't help that I had long hair. That ended up killing my self esteem. But with the wonderful world of meds I don't even think about it. I guess the zoloft is also good for OCD and i'd always be picking out my flaws but no more.


----------



## moya

I'm attractive enough to, with the right attitude, probably get a one night stand each weekend if I'm feeling good, mind you. Doesn't mean I'm TOTAL HOTSTUFFS, but when I'm feeling good, I do get checked out a bit. I'd say I'm a good average when it comes to my face or a biiit above or below depending on who you ask. And A solid 7 to 8 when it comes to my body. But I know how to dress myself well enough too. Definitely no girl-magnet, though!

http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/263115_238987502795829_5674511_n.jpg


----------



## AceRimmer

kehcorpz said:


> Pre or post ring?


 Gollum = post-ring. 
Smeagol = pre-ring.


----------



## riptide991

AceRimmer said:


> Gollum = post-ring.
> Smeagol = pre-ring.


Good point! Well Gollum has nice eyes, you just gotta do something about the hair.


----------



## war on anxiety

I don't find myself to be attractive, but I also don't think I am hidious. I usually just think there is something wrong with other people when they say I am handsome. No matter how "objectively" attractive one is they will never see it as long as they have low self esteem.


----------



## JillGreen

No I don't think I'm ugly. I'm middle aged, but I was very pretty in my youth- even won prettiest in my high school class. 

Jill


----------



## MachineSupremacist

Physically? Acceptable.

Mentally? I know I'll scare away every girl I meet and I can't help it. Might as well give up and get someone who only wants me for my money or a green card.

Sometimes all the threads about feeling ugly when the poster isn't ugly make me wonder if that's irrational. Then, I go interact with people and get reminded just what I am. Physically I'm a person, but mentally I'm just... creepy and ASD. Gaah.


----------



## Elixir

I'm what people call "plain Jane".


----------



## kilgoretrout

Don't remember if I posted in this thread before but "Do you think you're ugly?" is a question I struggle with all the time. Sometimes when I look in the mirror and/or see decent photos of myself, I tell myself I'm crazy to think I'm ugly; then there's those other times when I tell myself I'm crazy to think I'm physically attractive. I just want people to be completely honest with me.


----------



## saltyleaf

i "know" im ugly there's no thinking going on.


----------



## a degree of freedom

JGreens said:


> If inside beauty was important as people say, why aren't we happier? Because it's not!


Because confusion.


----------



## riptide991

antireconciler said:


> Insufficient inside beauty, duh? Why else you think it's so important? :roll


You guys wouldn't be happy either way because it's some chemical imbalance that is causing it. In reality inside beauty does matter. I mean yes the first impression when looking for a mate is for them to have features you find attractive but if they have no substance I would never date them. I've met many hot women who were just intolerable. I think that as long as the person has features you like you will find that as you get to know them they become more beautiful in your eyes. Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.


----------



## Kennnie

im pretty ugly right now but more attractive than i had ever been


----------



## TrcyMcgrdy1

aubre said:


> I know I am ugly. If it makes you feel any better, I am 100% sure I am uglier than you.
> 
> It does hold me back. When I see people I assume the first thing they think about me is "Wow, he's so unnattractive."
> 
> I have never met and I can't imagine anyone uglier than myself.


Depressing yo. I like to think I am normal. Even if I am not, it gets me through the day and allows me to seem more confident than I am. I def don't think I am Bradd Pitt but I sure as hell don't believe I am Gollum.


----------



## BlueBoo

yes


----------



## Shauna

Yes, inside(i lack personality) and out.


----------



## 311

I am shockingly unattractive. It's natural too. I have only seen a few people (who weren't deformed) who were more unattractive than me in my entire life.


----------



## Xtraneous

yes


----------



## 311

kilgoretrout said:


> Don't remember if I posted in this thread before but "Do you think you're ugly?" is a question I struggle with all the time. Sometimes when I look in the mirror and/or see decent photos of myself, I tell myself I'm crazy to think I'm ugly; then there's those other times when I tell myself I'm crazy to think I'm physically attractive. I just want people to be completely honest with me.


Judging by your avatar you are above average in looks.


----------



## Jollygoggles

Not ugly; not going to make Johnny Depp feel insecure about his looks either.


----------



## Jollygoggles

311 said:


> Judging by your avatar you are above average in looks.


In fairness, it's her chin. lol


----------



## 311

Jollygoggles said:


> In fairness, it's her chin. lol


Lmao... True but you can tell a lot from that portion of the face, watch:


----------



## loneyakuza

TrcyMcgrdy1 said:


> Depressing yo. I like to think I am normal. Even if I am not, it gets me through the day and allows me to seem more confident than I am. I def don't think I am Bradd Pitt but I sure as hell don't believe I am Gollum.


You look pretty good to me, no ****, asian bro. You look kind of like Sung Kang actually.


----------



## Jollygoggles

OK, 311, I secede my point. 'Tis a fine face atop a fine chin no doubt.


----------



## kilgoretrout

311 said:


> Judging by your avatar you are above average in looks.


LOL. Yeah, it's just my chin but thanks.


----------



## Jearld8989

Trust me...looks really don't matter. I'm not Brad Pitt, but I'm told very often I'm handsome, hot ect. and it hasn't changed how I feel or act. I even had the perfect body at one point. If anything it makes it more difficult having social anxiety because I think people tend to expect you to be a certain way. In the past I have tried to look less attractive on purpose. I hate not knowing why people are looking at me. Because I'm nervous, angry looking or because I'm attractive?..it sucks pretty bad having a positive trait, but not being able to take full advantage of it. I will say it does help in some ways, but mostly it seems when people know you are actually shy. I used to avoid a lot of uncomfortable situations and people never saw me as very shy, but stuck up instead. Just to say I'm good looking, but would give away half of my looks for better mental health any day.


----------



## Scarlett22

Weirdly I dont think I ever have....
I generally think its my personality that has held me back - I think I'm a freak. But I'm trying to work on it.


----------



## Jollygoggles

I'll say this much - one of the sexiest girls I've ever met was not what you would call classically pretty. She didn't dress ****ty or anything. She dressed really refind. It helped that she was Frech I guess but it was the way she carried herself. She just had this confident aura. This real x-factor. I felt like a little boy in her presence. She was a _real _woman. It was so appealing and it had nothing to do with looks.

Anyone who believes in themselves can create this aura about themselves.


----------



## Masked4201

In the morning when I wake up my hair is all messed up and my face is oily as hell. But after I take a shower I feel a lot better.


----------



## KelseyAlena

Yes , I don't think I am attractive at all.


----------



## januarygirl

I think everyone struggles with thinking this sometimes.
I don't think I'm ugly, I think I'm plain. I'm more worried about my personality



KelseyAlena said:


> Yes , I don't think I am attractive at all.


I think you're pretty!


----------



## rdrr

It doesnt matter whether I think I am ugly. My opinion is subjective. Now, if my peers and strangers think I am physically unattractive, what can I do to change their negative judgement into a positive one?


----------



## TrcyMcgrdy1

loneyakuza said:


> You look pretty good to me, no ****, asian bro. You look kind of like Sung Kang actually.


Y ai get that one alot. Like ALOT. But I'd rather look liek him than say Bobby Lee...


----------



## Droidsteel

People used to call me ugly in school but to be fair I did look dead weird back then.

Im about average.


----------



## iNeedtoRelax

Heck yes.


----------



## TrcyMcgrdy1

loneyakuza said:


> You look pretty good to me, no ****, asian bro. You look kind of like Sung Kang actually.


 You look like some badass yakuza gang leader gettin all them moneyz and *****es. And I also feel like this thread is turning into a whose uglier thread with people seeminingly happy about it. haha. Plzdon'tkillmyfamily...


----------



## LeeAnne1990

Yes. As I've. Stated in a previous thread, I think I'm hideous. Cant look in the mirror cant, etc. I'm sure 75% of my social anxiety comes from the fact that I am less than pleasing to the eye


----------



## BeautifullyShy

Yea, I more _feel_ ugly. I know I'm attractive... but I of course have my insecurities and feel ugly. I actually came across this website searching for information on rhinoplasty and breast augmentation.. Procedures which I plan on getting later this summer to boost my confidence. Realistically, it probably won't help with my social anxiety. It's worth a try right?


----------



## ApathyDivine

I probably look average, but I feel hideous


----------



## roseblood

My self confidence is really unstable. Sometimes i don't worry about how i look and try to focus on enriching my mind not my appearance. But then there are times when i feel really hideous, especially when i see how pretty other girls are. I don't think this is a big factor in my SA at all.


----------



## Luka92

I usually think I look average. But when I'm depressed, I feel both ugly and stupid.


----------



## jvanb00c

Can't recall if I posted in this or not but to me it totally depends on the day. Some days I look in the mirror and think "damn, i look pretty good" then the next day I look in the mirror and it's acne and hair that just won't cooperate and just a look of general crappiness.


----------



## whatevzers

Yeah sometimes.


----------



## SHYGIRLUV

dominicwalli said:


> well your not OK...definitly not....ur beautyfull,just liek almost all the ppl in thsi stupid thread,they just have to find their style,most of the times its the clothes and the haircutO_O,and if u dont like ur body u can always go to the gym.


thank u


----------



## j a m

I think now that I had looked alright, but back then I burned my 8th grade photos secretly in the garage in shame and despair before anyone could see them (I thought I was very ugly; my face, my expression, the _me_). My parents never asked for them.


----------



## theseventhkey

I'm hideous and undesirable, I did nothing but embraced it.


----------



## John316C

cameras mirrors and so forth distort the way you look based on its manufacturing. go buy a new "lens" as a suggestion. i know im good looking because of the reactions i get in RL, but because of my upbringing i feel ugly. i wont remain the same!


----------



## Mlochail

I look in the mirror at home and see the most awesomest best looking person in existence.

When I walk the streets and I see a reflection of myself I feel the most retarded misformed person there is. I avoid looking at my own reflection in pulic places like the plague


----------



## Strwbrry

Depends on my mood...


----------



## Damselindistress01

Yes i think im hideous


----------



## ravens

Sometimes I will look at a picture of myself and think that I am ugly. Other times I will see myself in a mirror and think that I'm OK looking.


----------



## blc1

Yes. My discontent is quite extreme and psychologically enslaving; the sense of inferiority is coupled with guilt over my ingratitude. I remember one incident in particular where an attractive guy seemed to like me for some reason and I behaved very coldly towards him to discourage him from ever approaching. This is what I do when people demonstrate interest, I instinctively coil and don't avail myself of any opportunities. I feel my SA was brought about in part because of this. A part of me thinks it's all very petty, and another part recognizes that it's not petty considering women are judged primarily by how sexually attractive they are. Feeling ugly is absolutely torturous, and the desire to be perceived as more attractive is enslaving and perhaps futile.


----------



## lettersnumbers

I like the way i look.


----------



## Tristeza

Yes.


----------



## Canucklehead

Of course I do, but I think it gives character... or something.


----------



## GaaraAgain

I don't think I am, I know I am. But I'm learning to work with my ugliness instead of fighting against it. I'm never going to be pretty, but I'll be the best looking ugly me I can be


----------



## ravens

I don't know if I'm ugly but I have never liked the way that I look. In some of my pictures I do think that I am not good looking.


----------



## AwkwardlyAwkward

I used to think I was ugly, not anymore though.
I wouldn't say I'm hot but i'm attractive enough and that's good enough for me.


----------



## And1 ellis

yeah I'm pretty ugly, I have no personality just to make things worse for me :/


----------



## Logical Paradox

I hate the way I look. Mainly the fact that no matter how hard I try facial acne never goes away.


----------



## hopeless93

I'm average looking at best.


----------



## Alas Babylon

Yeah I think I am definitely unattractive. I'm underweight (132 lbs at 6'2) as well as being tall. I am really gangly, lanky and uncoordinated. Plus I get nervous as **** in any conversation. 
Though I think If I am able to put on weight (which I am trying to do) and/or build some actual muscle, I might qualify as somewhat attractive.


----------



## Esmelinda

I used to think I was cute when I was younger, but 2 kids and one bad marriage later, I don't think so highly of myself.


----------



## fools gold

i would say so yes. If i was to rate myself it would a 4 out of 10.


----------



## asw12345

i would say im just average


----------



## gameblouses

my mom says i'm handsome so that pretty much sums that up


----------



## ForeverImperfect

I honestly think im the ugliest here. No girl is attracted to me and when i talk toba girl i feel like they dont want to associate with me because im so unattractive.


----------



## shyvr6

ForeverImperfect said:


> I honestly think im the ugliest here.


You just joined today and you're already assuming that? :sus


----------



## BelowtheCurrent

I don't hate how I look. I'm pretty average I guess.


----------



## it will all be over soon

Yes, of course I think I'm ugly. I think this is very common amongst social anxiety sufferers, since they always wonder what they are doing so wrong that makes people hate them. Since most people with SA have very poor social skills and can't understand social cues, they blame all their problems on their looks, rather than on their social skills. Plus they have low self esteem which makes them overly critical about everything.


----------



## SilentWitness

shyvr6 said:


> You just joined today and you're already assuming that? :sus


they always come backkkkkkkkkk.......(in creepy voice iow, my own voice)


----------



## visualkeirockstar

aubre said:


> I know I am ugly. If it makes you feel any better, I am 100% sure I am uglier than you.
> 
> It does hold me back. When I see people I assume the first thing they think about me is "Wow, he's so unnattractive."
> 
> I have never met and I can't imagine anyone uglier than myself.


Wait til you see me bro.


----------



## shyvr6

SilentWitness said:


> they always come backkkkkkkkkk.......(in creepy voice iow, my own voice)


Yes, this site is like a drug and they're all addicted.


----------



## Malek

More often than not, yet I think it's mainly to do with my insecurities. I've been told otherwise, and not out of pity, so if I look at it objectively I'd say I'm about average. I'm having a decent day more or less so I can manage to be this positive at the very least, man I suck...


----------



## Frostbite

Nope


----------



## tristatejosh

Physical appearance to me is only half the battle because someone could look amazing and is absolutely mean to everyone with so many ugly personality traits. 

I'm okay with how I look. Just working on personality and fixing SA.


----------



## ForBrighterDays

Face? Average. Everything else... ugh.


----------



## Donnie in the Dark

Not any more. There are plenty of guys better looking than me, loads, but I'm starting to come around to my appearance, helped by someone I really like finding me at least somewhat attractive. Still got the spots and goofy teeth, but such is life!


----------



## xgodmetashogun

Moasim said:


> I look in the mirror at home and see the most awesomest best looking person in existence.
> 
> When I walk the streets and I see a reflection of myself I feel the most retarded misformed person there is. I avoid looking at my own reflection in pulic places like the plague


You sound just like me...


----------



## Diáfanos

xgodmetashogun said:


> You sound just like me...


I thought it was just me? Reality just hit me son..


----------



## goawaymel

Def not attractive, but not full-on ugly (I hope). I'm absolutely my own harshest critic.


----------



## PaxBritannica

yes


----------



## mfd

Sometimes, yeah. Most of the time I just think I'm below average.


----------



## Genetic Garbage

Yes. My looks got worse over time. Right now I consider myself a 3/10.


----------



## Mur

Not at all, I look pretty damn good actually.


----------



## InvisibleMe

On a good day, I'm average. On a bad day, frankly, I shouldn't be let out of the house.


----------



## Natsu

I think I have some nice features. But I have bad skin so that automatically cuts any attractiveness by 70%


----------



## noscreenname

For the most part yes I do. The truth is I am very average looking, neither ugly nor handsome. I have a few genetic characteristics that just keep me shy of being "good looking" of course I focus on them instead of the good bits.


----------



## Andres124

Sometimes I feel ugly and sometimes not.


----------



## B l o s s o m

When I look in the mirror, I always find features which I don't like... I find it difficult to accept myself as I am which I think is an issue that many people are struggling with. Yes it does hold me back sometimes.


----------



## JustRachel

Ugly..no
Stunning..no
Average..yes

Overweight..yes
Which automatically makes me ugly to 95% of the males I know lol. Nevermind ey, shiiit happens, I'm just that *sh!t* haha


----------



## InimitableJeeves

No I don't think so.


----------



## Canucklehead

maira20 said:


> I'm hideous! Other people say I am an attractive person but I don't care. It's how I perceive myself that matters and I think I am ugly.


Get ready to have a barrage of private messages from creepy dudes telling you they love you.

Welcome to SAS


----------



## monotonous

thats all im thinking about all day


----------



## Beige

I think I'm average, but I'm often afraid that I'm really ugly and I just don't realize it.


----------



## Marooned86

I think I'm a good looking person for the cards i've been dealt.


----------



## Diáfanos

Canucklehead said:


> Get ready to have a barrage of private messages from creepy dudes telling you they love you.
> 
> Welcome to SAS


^

Incoming PM :wink


----------



## TobeyJuarez

I don't know if I am or not.... Sometimes I think I'm hideous... But other times I feel attractive


----------



## Saber

I don't think I'm ugly. When I was younger I felt very ugly but it didn't upset me because i didn't really care about my looks then.



Canucklehead said:


> Get ready to have a barrage of private messages from creepy dudes telling you they love you.
> 
> Welcome to SAS


I'm sure that's what she wanted.


----------



## Heyyou

For the most part I think I'm ok, but I have my ugly days.


----------



## Chris Harris 24

i have an extremely rare disease where my facial features change in size and shape on a constant basis, some kind of allergy maybe, so sometimes i feel ugly and other times i dont


----------



## Canucklehead

Saber said:


> I'm sure that's what she wanted.


Totes, that's why she removed her album and all her pics right?

Because she wanted it?

Sas is funny.


----------



## Diáfanos

Canucklehead said:


> Totes, that's why she removed her album and all her pics right?
> 
> Because she wanted it?
> 
> Sas is funny.


After checking out the link posted, I could safely say with confidence someone here don goofed


----------



## mysterioussoul

Yes. That's why I avoid trying to talk to people as I worry that they will judge me and feel sorry for them to have to look at me. And people treat me differently too.


----------



## NiteOwl

I FEEL really ugly, but I don't think I'm really as ugly as I feel like I am if that makes any sense? I think I'm repulsive when I see a picture of myself or look in the mirror, but I don't know where I would fall in reality if I were looking at someone else that looked just like me. I'm certainly not hot, probably not even semi cute maybe just below average? I know I'm way harder on myself than I would ever be on anyone else. Then I start thinking the only reason I'm thinking I'm probably not as ugly as I see myself is because I DON'T WANT TO BE, and need to make myself feel better. So really who knows? Hideously ugly or average I'm still obviously crazy...


----------



## NightWingLikeABoss

Canucklehead said:


> Get ready to have a barrage of private messages from creepy dudes telling you they love you.
> 
> Welcome to SAS


I *DO *love her! And how dare you call me creepy for it.


----------



## Roundedlevel1

Well, the best possible way to overcome fear is to face those fears.

But what if your fear IS your face?... I'm gonna do something I told myself I wouldn't do.. because I feel there's nobody I can trust that I would ask face to face. No better place on earth than the internet for judgement, eh?

Here's a few of my senior pictures (and I cherry picked pretty hard) but even in them you can see. One side of my face is more dominant than the other, my widows peak is WAY the hell off center.

I'm walking around daily thinking I'm a 1/10. And I would rather know about what other people think and learn to cope, than to lie to myself when I look in the mirror.


----------



## Roundedlevel1

I was so nervous, I literally forgot to put the link.
Here it is.


http://imgur.com/all


I know this thread is like 2 years old so this is kindof a shot in the dark, but whatever.


----------



## Vincam

Roundedlevel1 said:


> I was so nervous, I literally forgot to put the link.
> Here it is.
> 
> 
> http://imgur.com/all
> 
> 
> I know this thread is like 2 years old so this is kindof a shot in the dark, but whatever.





> roundedlevel1's images are not publicly available.


we still can't see them :/


----------



## Roundedlevel1

Fixed


----------



## Vincam

mate, what do you worry about???
really, you look fantastic! and I'm not telling you that just to make you feel better.
nice smile, nice eyes, pretty muscular, social looking.
you are 100% sure better looking then most guys, no joke


----------



## Roundedlevel1

**** me I'm sweating bullets.


----------



## Vincam

relax man, it's all in your head.
if I'd meet someone like you in public I would NEVER think you would feel this way.
on these pictures you look pretty damm confident too


----------



## Roundedlevel1

Lol, this was 1 month after my brain surgery and about 2 months ago from right now.

and thanks for clarifying. For years I had this messed up idea that I was mentally ill, and thus explained the way I looked. I created this loop of fear that was a goddamn death spiral. Oh and I don't know what my age says, I'm 18 (I put in random stuff in registry) just so y'all dont think they're outdated or anything.


----------



## SwY

I dont think I am ugly, but my very low self esteem makes me ugly. I saw many uglier people than me and they were thinking about themselves they are beautiful and I just couldnt understand that. They have big self esteem and it helps them a lot, because "You are what you think".


----------



## booknerd01

Since I've started college I feel really ugly. Every time I go somewhere with my roommate she always gets guys hitting on her, asking for her number, telling her she should be a model. It's quite awkward for me really when I'm walking with her. Everyone always looks at her, and they don't even bother to take a second to glance at me. I don't think I've ever had a stranger hit on me in my entire life. Is that normal?


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

I don't think I'm ugly, but I'm no hottie.


----------



## Vincam

booknerd01 said:


> Since I've started college I feel really ugly. Every time I go somewhere with my roommate she always gets guys hitting on her, asking for her number, telling her she should be a model. It's quite awkward for me really when I'm walking with her. Everyone always looks at her, and they don't even bother to take a second to glance at me. I don't think I've ever had a stranger hit on me in my entire life. Is that normal?


I don't know your friend and I don't know you of course.
but the fact that your friend has all that and you don't, tells me more about her then it does about you.
but it's hard to judge without knowing either of you.

and I know from lots of experience that *cough* most girls think they're "ugly" for some reason


----------



## Steinerz

Yeah I am.


----------



## pete24

Nope.

Well if I have had a lazy day, stayed in bed til late, i'm still tired and it get's on to 10pm, I know if I take a picture of myself or look in a mirror I look at best below average.

The weird thing is, if on that same day I go for a shower, remove my top and look at myself in the bathroom mirror... I actually don't look bad (not talking about seeing my body, just my face, don't know if taking my tshirt off rubs over my hair and styles it in a way I look good).


The key for me in my opinion is my hair. If I can spike it up in a certain way, it somehow compliments my face and I appear to be "good looking".

Even though women have said when my hairs flat I look really cute (I cant see it, flat hair makes me look ugly I think)


----------



## Corvus Cowl

Yup. I am one of the ugliest things that I could personally think of, both inside and out. An ugly fool only meant to be made fun of and laughed at, with me being the main audience. I used to be delusional thinking that I was a good looking guy, or even a decent looking guy, and I thought I had a okay personality, and hell I even recently had confidence! But no, now I accept who I am: A clown. A thing that weirds and creeps others out, but safe and fun to laugh at.

And I just keep smiling... and smiling... and SMILING... After all, who wants a sad clown, eh? No one laughs at those, no one wants those around. They want their entertainment... I'll give them a show. You can't feel sorry for something pitiful when it comes off as happy and joyful.

Well, that was fun to vent! Time to go make others smile some more


----------



## Ntln

I've recently come to accept myself as average. Most of you probably aren't ugly, it's the SA talking, though I know the feeling. It's tough to see yourself objectively.


----------



## Everton

Roundedlevel1 said:


> **** me I'm sweating bullets.


haha man you look great


----------



## East

I know I'm ugly. （￣ー￣）


----------



## CopadoMexicano

I think im good looking but i also think im not soo good looking. I just dont have the emotional part to feeling guapo.


----------



## Mister Mxyzptlk

I hate my look so much. No disrespect but those who think they're ugly but in fact are good-looking and charming, you guys are not grateful enough.


----------



## inerameia

I think I look alright. But I don't think many people think I'm physically attractive. I'm insecure about my looks, I guess.


----------



## rosecolored

When I was younger, I thought I was hideous. Now I'm starting to like the way I look. I think I'm pretty cute, but I do have days that I just feel ugly.


----------



## Jcoj613

Yea.


----------



## R3served

Yes.


----------



## h00dz

I don't think I'm some sort of mutant but I'm nothing to write home about by any means, couldn't be more bland/average or even below average. Nothing stands out at all and thus I don't get noticed very much if at all.


----------



## Crisigv

Yeah, i think i'm ugly. I'm sure it plays a big part in my SA.


----------



## Shirotora

I don't think I'm ugly but my hair annoys me so much. So it makes me feel ugly and can't find the right style that I like and that suits me. :/


----------



## Drakey

I mean, I'm not like horrific and a pain to look at but I'm not that up there on the looks scale. I'm pretty much smack dab in the middle. Average.


----------



## KelsKels

Sometimes. Im definitely insecure. In every way.


----------



## loner2013

yes and it started when i was ridiculed daily for being so ugly in middle school it made me very sure i am hidious not to mention the various times i have heard it in my adult life...it holds me back tremendously. i feel your pain and i am sorry you have to feel that way i wish ppl werent such judgemental a holes


----------



## visualkeirockstar

Not just ugly. Hella ugly.


----------



## Art3mis

I have come to terms with the fact that I will never be attractive, so I just try not to think about it.


----------



## Diegoo

I try not to think about it too much or it gets me down, but yeah, I feel ugly  and I feel like that's the first thing people always notice and will never not notice about me


----------



## monotonous

you wouldn't be here if you are hot


----------



## AxeDroid

I don't really know anymore and I don't care either.


----------



## stilllse412

I'm curious why your posed the question as "Do you "think" you are ugly?" as if you are looking for people who are not really ugly but think they are as opposed to people who truly are ugly. Many people who are not ugly probably deep down know they're not ugly, but have some issue that makes them get some psychological payoff from wallowing in being ugly. I don't fully understand it, but what I do know is that there are lots of people who claim to think they are ugly. Lots of them are not. BDD aside, is there anyone out there who secretly knows they are at least half decent looking (let's say at least a 6 out of 10) but claim to be ugly and dwell on it?


----------



## ineverwipe

Yes I am. And yes it does hold me back. I wouldn't be so self conscience if I wasn't ugly


----------



## BMA

Lol I see so many ugly people who are so confidence so your point is pretty invalid.

To answer your question, i dont think i'm ugly, im rather decent-looking.


----------



## eren

Yes. Totally ugly. It's a mystery how I could work as an air hostess, a job that--at least, in my country--requires attractive physique.


----------



## tbyrfan

I don't think I am ugly - I *KNOW* I am ugly.


----------



## lad

I am not and I am cheeky enough to get away with out shaving.


----------



## Bizarre

I do not think I am ugly in the least...but no that does not stop anything from going completely wrong. But it does seem like to me the more together you look the more together people expect you to be.


----------



## stilllse412

eren said:


> Yes. Totally ugly. It's a mystery how I could work as an air hostess, a job that--at least, in my country--requires attractive physique.


So maybe could you be one of the people who secretly knows you are not ugly? How can you have the job you have if you are truly ugly? They don't want ugly people in the job, right?


----------



## dal user

Well I haven't ever had a female attracted to me so I think its quite obvious that im ugly


----------



## hopeless93

I don't think I'm ugly, exactly. My problem is that I couldn't muster up the courage to talk to a girl if my life depended on it.


----------



## stilllse412

I am not sure what is worse - A) being ugly and knowing it, or B) being OK looking and think you are ugly so you never try to find love. If it's B, it might be even more tragic because all along you could have love, but you don't get it because you hold back.


----------



## Putin

I know I'm very far away from being jaw-droppingly handsome, but i don't think I'm 'ugly.' I think I'm a reasonably good looking guy


----------



## Roadkill1337

I don't think I am, I know I am.


----------



## Slaeth

When I see pictures of myself.. yes I do. I'm not photogenic, at all. Luckily there aren't very many pictures of myself out there. Also, getting a recent hair cut absolutely didn't help. I find that I often don't care what I look like most of the time..


----------



## 742733044

i always think i'm goodlooking but i think other find me extremly annoyed and ugly


----------



## slider

Yes but people tell me otherwise and that just confuses me to no end...


----------



## Fangs

Sort of. Sometimes I feel like I'm ugly, and sometimes I don't. I don't know


----------



## nothing else

Ugly is an understatement. More like hideous or disgusting would be appropriate.


----------



## TheHopeless

I'm a cute and sexy guy! If only my personality could match my good looks I'd be set...


----------



## bringdaruckus

i'm not ugly but i was sheltered a lot of my life and always stayed in my room. i never had a normal childhood so its hard to be socially normal. i never had normal social relationships and only talked to my family


----------



## PaintItBlack

I dont think I'm ugly, I know that I'm ugly for sure...


----------



## shyguyred

I don't think so I have my picture as my avatar,if anyone wants to correct me maybe im delusional and I am ugly I don't know.


----------



## madddogg

I'm not sure. Sometimes I like what I see in the mirror, sometimes I think I'm hideous. Pictures are hit or miss but usually a miss. When I was a kid I was happy and smiling all the time but now I hate smiling because my teeth are jacked up and I think if I had straight teeth I'd be 100% more attractive.


----------



## mk1411

I don't consider myself that attractive at all, even though I am in shape and workout regularly, practice good hygiene, and try to dress nice. The fact that I losing my hair is not helping matters at all. I hate being in pictures, or seeing myself in pictures. I am my own biggest critic, and I always seem to find flaws with everything about myself, so maybe that is why. I have women tell me that I am handsome, good looking, and attractive, but usually it from women that I find very unattractive.


----------



## jesse93

I'm definitely on the uglier side, I have some acne scars and a bit overweight, sometimes I think I look ok when I look in the mirror, but I think I'm just lying to myself, because on the rare occasion I'll take a picture of myself and I look even worse then I did when I looked in the mirror, which makes no sense to me, guess the mirror is lying to me. :sus

I could never find a hair style that "fit" me, you know those people who get their hair cut and they just look amazing? I've tried various things with my hair, and I always look terrible I remember even growing my hair out to be pretty long, down to my shoulders.. but even my teacher told me to cut my hair. It would always make me self conscious.

and now my hair is thinning and I'm slowly balding at the age of 20, dammit.


----------



## h00dz

I know I have made a comment on this thread already, but nothing has changed, I'm still as bad as I was, and things are not getting better. Its surprising I have had girlfriends at all. And I use the term lightly very lightly. And now im older, I know whats facing me and thats okay.. Got to work with what you have got


----------



## Tone

I do not believe I am ugly -- but I am experiencing forced-rejection & forced isolation despite being very social & as Loving/courteous/interesting/helpful/truthful as i can be. 

What you want to do is try to shy away from self-criticism & realize things are not your fault. You criticize society or lack of medical treatments that work or inequality but not yourself because you are innocent if you are a good person.

One time at another place not here, I made a post that has nothing to do with physical appearance, that criticized society and how efforts don't work but they should work. It didnt have a single sentence or word in it doing self-criticism. Then someone replied saying it was self-criticism. This is how truly dumb the population is. 

With almost every post I make on any forum, a person hallucinates something i didn't say then replies to their own hallucination. I cant believe the population is that dumb & evil. But they are. This planet is very strange & its population has to be the most bizarre population in the galaxy. I would guess that to be so even without having seen all the other inhabited planets. I mean people are so dumb & evil there are no words for it.


----------



## freakamidget

I don't think I'm ugly when I have makuep on.


----------



## Buddy900

I don't think I'm all that ugly, but at the same time I don't think I'm very attractive either. I've met so people (especially girls) who put looks before personality.


----------



## Peyote

I'm not ugly, at least I don't think I am. And it has nothing to do with my anxiety.
If someone tells my I am ugly it's just to piss me off, which happens sometimes.


----------



## Tabris

Yes, I'm pretty disgusting.


----------



## MsFatBooty

There's nothing ugly about me neither physically nor inner related still I am always desperate. And I see lots of 'ugly' people every day with happy faces on the streets.
The point is, your appearance doesn't matter it's all your approach.


----------



## mesmerize

sometimes i feel very disapointed on my looks yea. one thing i hate is my head shape its too tiny and my eyes are too close to each other


----------



## probably offline

I've felt unattractive/uncomfortable with my face for a while, especially during the past year. I avoid mirrors as much as possible(I put make up on in dim lighting, for example). I have a reason for it(it's not a BDD thing). I used to be perfectly ok with my face before.


----------



## Jesuszilla

I have only recently not felt ugly


----------



## estse

Not ugly, but unattractive due to personality mainly. Expressionless, stiff, etc.


----------



## Bigmo

I am very handsome. I look at myself in the mirror and want to kiss myself. All women think I'm gorgeous.


----------



## PandaBearx

Yep, I think I try to dress well to make myself appear nicer, but when I'm wearing a hoodie with no makeup I feel hideous.


----------



## Graveltone

its weird some days I look great and some I look hideous. Its all in my mind and I have absolutely no control over it. How can you get a grip when you don't even know what you look like?? Nothing makes sense.


----------



## bluesalamander

I don't think so. Quite the opposite, by the way. But I'm far too skinny and too lazy to change this fact.


----------



## visualkeirockstar

I have a huge pimple on my nose right now that can't do nothing about it and everyone is gonna see. Fml.


----------



## ZADY

Yes... When I look in the mirror I get disgusted. I get angry at myself for being ugly and repulsive. I always wish I was someone else.. Why do I have to be ugly


----------



## WalkerTheNoTalker

It's a bit strange, I never seem to point people out as ugly. I can usually look past appearances and see a person's true nature. 

But when it comes to myself, I want to puke. I have some acne and my hair is just one big mess xD. I can't smile unless it comes from true happiness (which is rare for me >.>). If I try and fake smile I look like a psychopath lol. Looking the way I do really affects my ability to interact with others because a majority of the time i'm stressing about my looks. Anyways just one of the many hurdles I have to face if i want to fix my social issues :/


----------



## cataclysm

It comes and goes. Sometimes, I feel so bad about my appearance that I'd want to kill myself. Sometimes, I love how I look and feel better about it. Thing is that I'm getting compliments, especially from my relatives, which pisses me off, since I can't really trust their words in this case, since I am one of their beloved children.


----------



## Cool Ice Dude55

i think i'm good looking. unfortunately its the only thing i have going for me.


----------



## UndreamingAwake

I don't really mind my face, but god, I hate my torso...


----------



## PandaPop

No I'm not ugly, I always feel pretty positive about myself.


----------



## kjwkjw

i dont think, i KNOW that im ugly.


----------



## CaramelTron

I don't think I am ugly but the men I like seem to think so because I have a big butt lol


----------



## mattmc

Attractiveness is highly relative when it comes to the self. There are days I look "good" for me. Despite the fact I'd still be below average - average at best for others. Yet I feel kinda positive just because it's better than normal.


----------



## high but not mighty

Sometimes (rarely) I look in the mirror and think "I actually look OK today" (Only when I'm wearing make-up, though).

Then I go outside and see how much better looking other people are than me.


----------



## One Man Band

I have a weird self image, because it changes every day. Some days, I'll look in the mirror and think, "Look at that fat tub of f**k!" and other times I think, "Wow, I'm actually looking good today." Either way, girls don't find me attractive, so I'll just say ugly.


----------



## eren

Not too ugly in general (some parts are ugly, like my upper lip, teeth, and nose...), but not attractive either. So-so, lah.


----------



## ravenseldoncat

I think I'm good looking, but I'm not sure. I'm not sure if I am a generally attractive person despite that...


----------



## LolaViola

When I'm alone and I look in the mirror, I think I'm alright. However, when I see other females, I often get very insecure. I can't help feeling ugly around a lot of them.


----------



## Putin

im pretty much physical perfection


----------



## ToastyBroseph

OH YES.... I've got a Guatemalan ethnicity (straight up) and my nose is too big for my face, I have a weird build because I HAVE been going back to the gym but 10 years of sitting on my *** and doing nothing doesn't leave much to look at. My arms, shoulders and legs are all toned up but I've got this weird love handle thing going on that just ruins that whole thing.

I'm pretty sure I've developed this lazy eye due to me not taking care of my contacts or something... I dunno. Sometimes it feels like its straying and some pics I've looked at more recently it looks "off." 

Anyway yeah I'm f**k ugly but I've come to accept it. It's just one of the many things that prevents me from doing what I need to to be more social.


----------



## oku

eren said:


> Yes. Totally ugly. It's a mystery how I could work as an air hostess, a job that--at least, in my country--requires attractive physique.


If your avatar is really you, then you're not ugly at all. I even think you look like some Japanese celebrity...


----------



## hoosierguy

I don't think I'm ugly, I KNOW I'm ugly. I started going bald in my twenties and wear glasses.


----------



## Helpmeok

if u are zombie , u are, if u look like un-normal ugly u are , some kid are smarter its true, sad to say some are UGLY look too. this is a reality life there no such thing as ugly ducking turn to bah bah bah.. its true of parent DNA is passed down.


----------



## T Studdly

I think i'm kinda ugly, but eh...


----------



## tea111red

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Not really, but I wish my lips were a little more puffy and my body was bigger. Also, my hair sucks. Too curly and afro like.


----------



## Jammer25

I think my face is decent, but I don't like the state of my physical fitness. Especially my flabby abs and lack of muscle tone. Really dampens a lot of the confidence I could have about my appearance.


----------



## pikku j

every time i walk past the mirror i laugh at myself for looking so horrible and pathetic lol.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

Not ugly, but not attractive either.. I think I come across as unattractive to other people though. Sometimes I think I look worse than other times.


----------



## Justlittleme

Only my hair and my weak character. lol... besides that I am strange. And I feel low on confidence right now.


----------



## Brandon86

I use to think I was below average looking but now I think I'm probably somewhat attractive, face-wise, based on the response I've gotten from some women (whom I almost always meeting via the internet because.... you know). I'm really out of shape, though. I've been overweight most of my life. I'm just a hair under 6' tall and right now probably weigh about 230 lbs. I've been as heavy as 285 and as light as 175. I'm a comfort eater


----------



## Umpalumpa

I used to believe I'm hideous looking, but I have learned to accept and love myself.


----------



## brooke_brigham

I think Im gorgeous but for some reason there is this ugly face that sits on top of my face that doesnt belong there. Maybe its the cruelty of getting older, I dont know.


----------



## Lonelyguy111

I am UGLY !!!!! :shockuke

I am a cross between Frankenstein, the Wolfman, Freddy Krueger, and road kill.
I am NOT someone you would want to go to the prom with !

I look better with a bag over my head.
Doesn't help my SA either.

In all seriousness, I am not very good looking. I have more of a nerdy, geek look which does not instill confidence in me and only makes my SA worse especially when I am around good looking people who are outgoing and entertaining. Makes me feel like dog crap.


----------



## twitchy666

*I'm the only person*

who would supply a yes/no answer. I can't judge myself

Ugliness is the most rational excuse for rejection


----------



## eyes roll tears

No but people make me feel ugly


----------



## OverLife

I use to when i was fat.
Now i think i am good looking but it hasnt helped me in the slightest with my social anxiety.


----------



## dexlab

Yes - although think I would feel better about how I looked if I had the guts to go to a hairdressers more often and learnt how to put make-up on properly.


----------



## sophiam

i don't think i'm ugly, but i wouldn't go so far as to say i'm pretty. i compare myself to something like a lamp or a pillow. you don't look twice or think, "wow, that is an attractive piece of home decor". i'm just kind of _there_.


----------



## For

Some days I'm disgusting. Other days i look pretty good


----------



## Lonelyguy111

My ugliness definitely holds me back.
I have typical, nerdy, rough facial features, the very antithesis to Tom Cruise.

I am very self-conscious about my looks and how it affects people's attitudes towards me. My lack of good looks makes me withdraw and try not to bring attention to myself and then I do not participate as much as I should and could otherwise.


----------



## CopadoMexicano

I remember the op...I sometimes alternate from being ugly to being pretty.


----------



## Salvador Dali

Oh yeah, definitely. I think it's my teeth that are my worst feature: Imagine the worst set of teeth you've ever seen and then imagine it being worse by about 85%, and you've got me. Thankfully, I am finally getting a brace next month after waiting for about 5 or so years of my life to get one.
Hopefully by next year, if all goes to plan, I won't look quite so drop-dead hideous.


----------



## minimized

Have you seen a butt?

There ya go.


----------



## Dissonance

minimized said:


> Have you seen a butt?
> 
> There ya go.


*grabs said butt*

I think I would be handsome if I actually watched my weight


----------



## hybridmoments

. No. I don't think I am the most physically unattractive person. However, I have noticed that what makes people ugly is their personality. That being said, also not opening up to others can be offputting, which is part of my problem.


----------



## BTAG

I think I'm very average.


----------



## inerameia

Depends on how I feel, I think.


----------



## ThisGirl15

No.


----------



## LolaViola

Yes.


----------



## NoHobbies

I'm not perfect but I'm not that ugly.


----------



## Cam1

Comfortably average. Haven't really worried too much about my appearance since I was 14-15, thankfully.


----------



## Gas Raid

I feel like I'm pretty average. Most people who think they're ugly are just average, and sometimes even above.


----------



## ApathyDivine

Yes. I feel like people think I look like a man...I have even been called sir a few times


----------



## hopeless93

Appearance wise, not so much. I consider myself ugly in many other ways however.


----------



## Dayvan

Deep down, I don't think I'm ugly but I'm just so hyper-critical of myself that I think other people judge me as harshly as I do. Right now my social anxiety is acting up big time because I've developed a stye on my eyelid. I am beyond self conscious about it and keep my sunglasses on always. I can't handle things like this when I'm already so anxious about how I appear.


----------



## changeme77

No I don't. When I was younger I was insecure about my big nose but I have come to accept that is just who I am it doesn't bother me in the slightest anymore. Besides, it's good for when I go cycling, I can get more oxygen in when I need it! Haha.


----------



## Apoc Revolution

_Not at all. I consider myself good-looking and I'm very confident in my appearance. Though my inner confidence is lacking..._


----------



## Lonelyguy111

Road kill looks better than me!
( I am almost serious - I am one homely SOB )
A Tom Cruise I am NOT !


----------



## Nessie91

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. 

It's a rather odd feeling tbh.
Some days I feel disgusted with myself, so much so that I cannot give eye contact with people. And other days I think I'm not 'so bad' and that I'm hot shhhiiitttt


----------



## YESmovement

Yea i do i hate taking pictures or being in video too, i hate it cause i have a bigger build that ive been in denial about my whole life and if i see my self in pictures i feel like i look like a giant ogre compared to everybody else

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


----------



## crimeclub

Yes, basically when I'm having sex I have to act like I'M someone else. *budum tsss!*


----------



## arnie

No.


----------



## ShatteredGlass

Not really, but I don't really think I'm particularly attractive either though.


----------



## HannahG

Most of the time I think I'm ugly.

With that said, the occasional time I'll look in the mirror and go 'I'm actually not _that_ ugly'... that's usually when I get a full 8 hrs sleep. I think there really is something to be said for that whole 'beauty sleep' idea. When I'm sleep deprived (which is almost always), my skin and eyes look different. (Splotchy skin, puffy red eyes) Sleep deprived me looks almost unhealthy. When I sleep well, my skin has a nice color, healthy glow and I look so much better.

However, when I'm feeling 'non-ugly' I have been ignored by people and even been treated in a way that just makes that brief moment of self-confidence dwindle and I feel ugly by the end of the day.


----------



## hermito

I know I am. It's none of that BDD crap. Just plain mutant looking ugliness.


----------



## Maryanne1986

No


----------



## Peme

I'm probably about a 6/10 at my best.


----------



## Erimitis

no,in fact i think i'm quite good looking


----------



## jesse93

Just got a Badge for work, had to get my picture taken.. I look so damn ugly in the picture, well there goes any confidence I had


----------



## BillDauterive

I am definitely below average. Some things I can't help, but I could definitely help in cutting down on my weight. That would probably help quite a bit.


----------



## AllieG

Yeah, I think I am not attractive at all and that makes me even more insecure around others.


----------



## euphoria04

Often, but I find the painful grip that truth held on me has diminished with time.

And I'm not sure whether to be content or alarmed with that fact. On one hand, my looks are no longer a source of personal torment which is nice. On the other, it tells me that I've grown resilient to yet another feeling. Life is hardening my fragile self, and I feel a loss of empathy concurrent with it. To be in touch with my emotions is to be operating at the highest levels of possible empathy, and I don't want to lose that (even if it can be an extremely difficult thing to live with at times). Feeling is always preferred to numbness.

But I guess that's how coping works.


----------



## ineverwipe

Most definitely


----------



## Iwantham




----------



## RedViperofDorne

Are you guys ok with looking at yourself in the mirror? I can usually only look at myself for about 2 seconds before I have to look away. It's like a reflex


----------



## vanishingpt

I think it's such a huge part of SA... being overly self critical and having low self esteem. This often leads to a lot of body image issues or being overly critical about one's appearance.

Some days where my anxiety shoots up, I feel like I don't look good enough. Even if I am wearing outfits I normally feel great in, I just get overly self conscious and over analyze. Other days I feel great. I work out regularly, wear make up every now and then but still feel fine without it... so I guess it's just finding a good foundation to build up on.


----------



## russianruby

I think I look like the sexiest motha fudger ever


----------



## 7th.Streeter

Even though I have acne scars, that I cover w both hands on both cheeks whenI gaze into the morror, I think Im kinda cute. Rarely sexy, I have more of a baby' s face .... still I have my ugly days...esp when im on campus and the girls look their age and look beautifu. .i feel so small and ugly.


----------



## pastelsound

I think I am. to be fair, I have very high standards. it's not just me hating myself.


----------



## Mittens76

I would not consider myself ugly but I suppose in between average and lower than average considering I just throw on what I have and brush my hair real quick.


----------



## Logston

I'm average at best. Sometimes I'll look in the mirror and think I don't look awful, but there is always a few times a day where the "Wow you're ugly" thoughts spew in. I plan on having a nose job the summer of my 18th birthday and I believe it will make me feel better about my appearance.


----------



## villadb

I don't know. In the mirror I think I look quite good but I seem to look different in every photo I've ever been in. I can't look at them sometimes because I get a bit insecure at looking young for my age. I've never been in a relationship so I don't really know what girls think of me, though I get the 'cute' tag sometimes.


----------



## I Lurk Life

I'm ugly as hell and it's one of the reasons why I have a really hard time making friends.


----------



## NinjaCupcake

I used to think I was ugly, due to some bad experience with the older kids down my road when I was little. I remember it now I was outside playing in my fairy dress and the older boys spotted me hiding '' Eww, eww its her'' I'd run off crying.
I was about 6/8 i had this top on that said 'gorgeous on and the older girl came up to me and said ''your not gorgeous your ugly'' throughout my life I'd have people call me ugly.
When i started HS the boys used to ask me out and pretend they'd like me, everyone used to bully me as i never used to speak to anyone as they would judge me as soon as I answered the register the whole class would burst out laughing and mimic my voice, they used to try and force me to talk and my grades was so behind cause i wasn't understanding the work my mum was constantly ringing up the school everyday to tell them to pack it in bullying me.

I showed them all the last year, it was the last couple of months in school in yr 11 and i picked out my prom dress and was already for prom.
I got my hair done all nice and as soon as i walked in there faces looked like they were going to fall through the floor, their smug faces looked like they didn't recognise me.

I remember this like it was few moments ago, i was dancing with my group of friends then suddenly the head girl said about the prom king and queen i thought ''pfft i doubt anyone would choose me'' the out of the blue the girl went. ''the prom queen of 2011 and she actually said my name! I was so shocked i thought they was joking and i was looking at my group of friends and then the girl started going ''would the prom queen come up to the front with the prom king' My legs started going jelly like as i was making my way up there then as i was walking up everyone started cheering and it felt like i was dreaming. 

Recently as soon as i started college i don't care about my looks or if anyone ugly or not, its an overated insult they judge you before they get to know you, even if you are not that good looking on the outside i believe its your personality that matters the most i feel more happier with my self now and i don't care who judges me.

Just remember its on the inside that matters, you will all find someone out there who matches your personality,
your prince charmings awaits you  
good luck guys x


----------



## LonesomeMut

I'm ugly and I fear others might be disgusted of me. I try to use make up but it makes me look even more gross.. oh well guess I have to deal with it. I feel I missed out on lots of opportunities because of my looks. I'm coming into terms with my ugliness and I'm accepting it and learning to joke about it...


----------



## SummerRae

ye ;o


----------



## xRoh

More often than not.


----------



## AceEmoKid

my perception of my complexion (wow no comment) fluctuates greatly, moment by moment. sometimes i'd give myself as high as a 7/10, other times as low as a 2/10. i don't care too much about my complexion anymore though. it used to be a more prevalent issue in middle and high school.


----------



## SuBin

People always tell me I'm pretty. I live in South Korea, and my boss says I'm a "local celebrity" because of the way I look. People stare at me. I hate it. Although people say I'm pretty, and I believe them, I always feel disgusted in myself. The constant compliments (it's a Korean culture thing) help.


----------



## HanSolo

SuBin said:


> People always tell me I'm pretty. I live in South Korea, and my boss says I'm a "local celebrity" because of the way I look. People stare at me. I hate it. Although people say I'm pretty, and I believe them, I always feel disgusted in myself. The constant compliments (it's a Korean culture thing) help.


See if everyone tells u u are pretty, and yet u still don't feel pretty...what more can it take to convince u?

Makes me wonder about the current beautiful girl I'm thinking about. I'd love to know how pretty she feels she is. Her looks give her access to so many guys.........my chances are next to none.

I used to hate my looks for years, then once I finally found a haircut I liked, and living in isolation for so long, I started to feel ok with my looks. I hope I'm average.

Now I'm still horrified by being 20-30lbs fat, my scars, lack of muscle....but I'm working on the fat at least


----------



## BigBlueMoon

Depends on my mood. There are days where I feel like an 8, and days where I feel like a -1.76453918. Working out has helped a lot with my body image issues.

To the people who feel ugly all the time; I know it's regurgitated advice but trust me, hit the gym. You would be surprised at how much of a difference it makes.


----------



## taawni138

yeah i do...it used to be bad that whenever i went to the bathroom i didnt look in the mirror when i wash my hands lol. now i just hate looking at pics that other people took of me or seeing my reflection


----------



## jever

looks doent matter for anything. Maybe for finding a girlfriend/boyfriend, but if you just get in shape, groom yourself and Wear nice clothes then that is not the problem - the problem is your lack of self confidence


----------



## sudbury78

This very reason-my poor self image just ruined a great relationship yesterday. My insecurity and worry that a better looking guy would steal her away basically killed the relationship and it sucks. She gave me no reason at all to feel insecure. I'm 36. i really feel like seeking some help.


----------



## NoHeart

No i em bootiful shut up


----------



## tieffers

I think I'm ugly. I think I'm repulsively hideous.

There isn't much I can do to hold the thoughts back other than avoiding mirrors or investing myself in activities that give me perspective on how fleeting and unimportant physical beauty is.

I deal with it on a day-to-day basis by putting makeup on even if no one's going to see me that day, restricting my food intake to extremes to lose weight, overexercising, scrubbing my face multiple times a day with abrasive chemicals to get rid of one or two small acne spots, and saving up for more plastic surgery. 

I hate this and it's exhausting. You're all ****ing beautiful.


----------



## jake272

I know I am. But whatever I guess.


----------



## heal the word

When i look in the mirror,I just look my eyes only,then i feel better.


----------



## emmidot

Hey. New here. Heh. Actually, this post sums up how I've been feeling lately.
Rather, a majority of my life...
But now I'm feeling crushed under the weight of my stress and self-loathing...

There's this guy that I like, he claims to like me, but I know deep down, I'm going to be remaining friend-zoned, because that's always how it goes...
25 and I've only had one boyfriend, other people just use me, so did he, etc...
I don't know what to do.

I'm at the point where I don't want to eat... but I know I have to.. or I'll get fatter.
I'm trying to lose weight, but I hate being in public, because people intimidate me generally.


----------



## AnonymousShmonomyous

Mittens76 said:


> I would not consider myself ugly but I suppose in between average and lower than average considering I just throw on what I have and brush my hair real quick.


 If that's you in the pic, then I think you're adorable : )


----------



## AnonymousShmonomyous

Sometimes I feel ugly, other times I don't. it's weird and is mostly contingent on whether or not I'm in an anxiety rut. I also think it is hard when you know you're not ugly but you still are insecure about your looks.


----------



## tearsforfears

I'm average.

People don't stare in awe or anything but they don't run away screaming either.

Could be better, could be worse.


----------



## 3 AM

I think I'm okay looking? I do have my days where I look in the mirror and go, "Ugh, WOOF." But other than that I think I just look like any other regular person.


----------



## sad vlad

I don't consider my self handsome, that is for sure. But I will not go to the other extreme of thinking I am the most ugly guy out there(although I have plenty of flaws I will not mention in here). 

I feel like I am that guy that has nothing special, never stands out in any way(I am talking strictly about looks) and is very easy to forget. :blank


----------



## Painful

I cannot stand my appearance. But I'm working on it.
Standing it, I mean.


----------



## Pompeii

Honestly, varies day by day, hour by hour. Some days I feel far too ugly to venture from home. Some days I feel acceptable and not repellant. I always feel unattractive though.


----------



## Baalzebub

My opinion fluctuates. I have "good bone structure" (high cheekbones, well-defined jaw), but I still feel undesirable.


----------



## farfegnugen

I think it comes and goes.


----------



## TotoroLisa

Some days I feel pretty and other days I hate what I see in the mirror, depends on my mood that day


----------



## emmidot

A lot. Sometimes people say I'm pretty, but they're only female friends. In the past it was female family members, aside from that there's occasionally guys online who say it. But I know the truth because you can't sugar coat reality: nobody wants me because I'm fat and have a pigsnout. I've only had one boyfriend and that lasted about a year. The sad part is there's days I want to scar my face. I don't, but I think about it...


----------



## emmidot

And now I've double (well now triple replied) to this thread... sorry...


----------



## El Ahrairah

I only feel ugly when I'm not wearing make up. I feel quite attractive when I am wearing make up. I know I was pretty ugly as a teen/child, but when I got older my looks improved and I lost weight, now I think I'm slightly above average looks wise. I get plenty of male attention anyway.


----------



## plant

my appearance always gets me down, sometimes my hair will look better than usual and that kind of makes me feel okay. Normally when i look in the mirror i sigh (which is me feeling okay) or i just feel really really really sad like when you find out about bad news kind of sad (sometimes). 
Remember what roald dahl said beauty was?








you are all hotter and prettier than you all think, i promise you!
keep going i love you all!!


----------



## Alkalinity

I think I'm average, but the moment I stand next to a pretty girl I feel hideous and any self-esteem I have just plummets. B)


----------



## GrainneR

I was a really ugly kid, and constantly got bullied. Not always because I was ugly, but I was also a bit 'weird'. At least, that's what everyone told me.
Now, people tell me I'm attractive usually (if it comes up), and I'm never quite sure what to do with myself when that happens.
And I don't exactly think that I'm ugly: at least, not like I used to be. But I can't see myself as attractive either. I just try not to think about it, most of the time. I do have days where I'll catch site of myself unexpectedly in a mirror or a window, and what I see will usually kind of bum me out.
Generally, I guess I think that my personality is basically a turn-off, so it doesn't really matter how attractive I am.


----------



## Small Origami

Honestly, I've found that looks really aren't as important as popular culture makes it seem. I'm don't think I'm a model or anything, but I'd say I'm pretty easy on the eyes. If nothing else I know I dress well. During the week I dress like I could be the Governor's son--I wear tailored Hollister bottom-down shirts, fitted jeans and Converse shoes. On Friday and the weekends I dress like someone from a rock band: v-neck shirts, skinny jeans and Converse shoes (I love Converse shoes!). I'm thin, and at least average height. People have told me that I'm rather tall but I feel very short. 

I've wasted so much money on this crap, and I've wasted even more on products for my hair and face (my mom would be so disappointed if she knew). I do all of this and yet I still always find myself alone. People will compliment me on how I'm dressed, and I feel good for one fleeting second but that's it. In the dining hall I never have anyone to eat with. The few people I've gotten to notice me end up basically tripping over their own feet to get away from me once they come to know me. I'm a nice person and I always let people talk about themselves, but I'm still really bad at conversations. I think that's why it happens... Hmm, I really don't know why they flee me. I look around and quote "ugly" people are always laughing and surrounded by friends. There's even a guy who's missing both of his hands and people love him. Sorry this is so long... All I want to say is that personality matters not looks.


----------



## jonafin

yes


----------



## beffa

yeah

i never see anything but repulsiveness in the mirror and on photos… the only reason i take/send photos is if the lighting's good or something in the picture looks okay


----------



## blacktank

I feel in between ugly and average. I hate my side profile and nose I think more than what most people hate about themselves.


----------



## loneliness

no


----------



## 2faced

leppardess said:


> I'm neither ugly nor beautiful. I'm average and I'm okay with that.


Why are seemingly normal people arriving to tell us that they look cool..? 
You can't tell a schizophrenic to quit acting the fool. 
Being insecure is normal. Anxiety is a normal thing. Everybody suffers anxiety. Just if it's your appearence, you can't leave it behind at the end of the day. Intuitively they aren't as aware, thus not having even the scope for the imagined problem. Everything has to be shiney and nice now. We sit at home watching the pretty images fill are heads.that everybody is gorgeous by comparison. Actors are symmetrical, easy on the eye. The bad guy is always less attractive. We've been sold this tale. 
I find the worst thing is, when, if I do go out the people around me are always happier by default ...or are they. They might look nice but maybe their boyfriends been cheating on them.. They have something to hurt over also. Or like most people, they're spending their time worrying more about others. I know that's pointless advice when you're like we are. But you need to aim back to the days when you were free from the inhibitions

I thought I'd cough up some hard earned experience. Although I urge all of you to really dig deep into your memories, what you want from life. The earliest humiliation (you might have it repressed from years back) you encountered. We trap this stuff in and still hold it relevant for years. When sometimes, if brought to life - hard as it is when you're trawling over old wounds, you will feel release. Maybe hurt, yes likely hurt. To what degree depends on your experience etc. I sat and wrote my story from earliest character defining moment to 19yrs old. I'm 31 now. I'd written 60 pages of thoughts, perception and not even made it out of my teens in history. I had enough ammo to question my sanity over the pain of feeling hideous. Something worse is the thought of not only being worse looking but a weak man also. So I have a reason to fight the negative. I had to dig alone to find that emotional leverage. It's a "key". Find it and run with it.
I'm positive if you make careful organised steps, maybe some meds to balance you back out a little. Take the edge off the culture shock. 
You'll no doubt read this and do all the things any anxiety related sufferer does and make excuses as to why years alone and unhappy is easier than trying to seek some mind strengthening tips. And that if I'm so positive I can't possibly be as bad. Half of my life being weaker than everybody. All our lives spent worrying about school exams and the future. When is religious education going to be replaced by psychology...
They have Sunday school anyway..
There's no denying that we're as deluded as somebody seeing or hearing things. Have you ever looked at anybody and physically not wanted them near you??
I'd hope not. And I'd say no myself. So why do we feel that's how were perceived by others?
These forums seem like a place to go and reassure yourself that you're not well. Everybody sat around just celebrating the fact that they aren't alone. Some other poor fella sat at the other end. Your brain didn't stop growing when you left school. You trained it to go wrong. Nobody is ugly to everybody. Those who slander people with the term are usually helplessly making their own way through life, not understanding the long lasting pain in the words. They might not be very good at football, so they pick on the small kid to make up for the shame. Deep down, that lad interprets his problem worse than the bullying he/she inflicts. From my experience, the early reactions to the environment around me, made me perceive myself in this way. We might have made some poor friend choices where 4 of the 5 girls we're mean and you were nice. You grow up with them, they most likely let you down so many times and/or just hurt you terribly. Leaves you wondering if maybe only your family are ok and that all people are mean by nature and you just can't deal with the hurt. 
The only difference between you and them is that you consider it worse than anything apart from dying maybe?
Fight or flight...
We don't need it anymore really. We've still got it in us, so some of us display it for the next best fear.. Our lives and our purpose.
I should say, I'm by no means Symmetrical. I have an eyelid that droops on my left side, although this is my best side. Straight on is my issue. No human interaction without dreaded intensity. Not just the opposite sex like we should, but with everybody. Family etc... Like if I was stripped naked at that moment it would feel no worse. I've had addictions my entire life. Running from negative criticism. HSP (highly sensitive person). We've all judged others at some point or another. Be it for their dress sense, how they are behaving, even if they are friends or strangers. We're all analysing these things everyday. Prejudice is alive in us just as the blood that flows. BDD sufferers if caught early, could perhaps be shown the errors in their thinking. I believed I was just a little sensitive. I knew I had issues physically, but to what degree.. 
I once read that if you don't like making eye contact usually there is an underlying problem. 
Having spent millions of minutes studying myself and realising certain things at certain intervals of my life and the suffering caused, I've realised things get so bad you can't recover. Time can heal. If you can somehow find peace or retreat from any anxiety for a block period. Allow your natural emotions to rekindle inside. You'll feel things you've forgotten existed. A smell you'd forgotten. Like the beginning of summer.

I'd like to clear up the inverted mirror image. It distorts your face because it's not following gravity in the second reflection i.e your reflection in a single mirror is first reflection. Mirror put to mirror is second reflection. If you flip a photo of something. The smallest detail in the image that is taking to gravity i.e all of it mostly will fall at an unnatural angle. I do hope people understand because I'm sure this image hurts young minds that are used to watching the brad Pitts and Jennifer anistons that they forget people in general aren't that attractive anyway.

So you've created this world of low self esteem. Custom made to your own design. You're so right in you're belief, you just do what you can to get by. This means leading a hermit like existence. That when you go out, you see the gorls who are happy and VIBRANT. Now you feel doubly worse. No point getting done up when the thing that matters can't be changed. It's a self written prophecy people. Notice the signs! Don't question if you are ugly or not! You'll never be thought of as badly as you're imagining. Never! I think the 'Alien' has better skin than me. Something we fret over for 20 mins in the mirror, average joe on the street wouldn't even pay you any mind anyway.

2 hours ago I felt terrible. Decided I needed to vent. I feel better, I know I'll suffer in the hours to follow though.

Get inspired, stop trawling the internet for self help. I'm always here. And I'm full of opinion..shocker!

You have to search for something about you that you do love. Maybe you've covered your face in hair for years thinking you looked better. But deep down you're cheating with your hair. Try a haircut that requires little mirror time. So you can brush your teeth and go out. Try to only check how you look when you're definitely at your best. People with confidence remember an image of themselves at their best. Blind bliss for some ay! I'll remember the 1 thing that's bad and it consumes my head!
Don't get bogged down with trying to confirm that the mirror inverted is how you look. You don't! If you have asymmetry and you've likely seeked the 2 mirrors only to be disgusted at the monstrosity of it.. when you first began to question your indentity, you'd have been hanging all miserable. That and the new face you're seeing combined with not really knowing what you look like. You can only go by fact: the 2 mirrors and that horrible thing that person said once..
Those thoughts needed putting right the moment you looked at your reverse image. Trauma is my only description of the emotion that I feel thinking back. Or if I check a photo of me from a significant period of time ago I would look symmetrical to the point of normal. If check the snap the moment after taking it, I'll be horrified. I'd felt ok for a short period last year. Felt some emotion, felt for me. I looked into my eyes and actually began to get some identity and hold to it. Nobody is that ugly. We want to not be ugly so much on the outside that we screw up everything else..
Who are you judging yourself with when you see yourself. When I feel low, I actually have to video myself to get some comfort. Still shots are not flattering face on and the mirrors are what got me here. Before the days of smartphones. Or checking yourself on some poor 1.3mp camera phone. 
Comparing yourself is the worst also. Just as you fooled yourself to feel bad. Fool yourself to be totally unaware of yourself as anything but a product of nature. 
Search high and low for things that give you a sense of well being. Get inspired. Want to want things from the world again.

Apologies if this is complete nonsense to read. I welcome thoughts and opinions

Good luck and think positive.


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## 2faced

Can I just say that I meant nothing with the reference to acting the fool. Bad example I know. Was trying to convey the sort of delusion sufferers are experiencing


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## Maikaaa

Some days I think I'm ugly, others OK. I think my body is ugly though


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## blacktank

introvert0 said:


> Yes, I have a very big nose and poor skin. Social anxiety is almost entirely related to how I look and the thoughts of people judging me.


I think this is why I have social anxiety too. My dad was a pastor and when he stepped in at a new church all the girls based how they treated you by your looks. Unfortunately for me I didn't fit their criteria. I think this is where everything came from


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## IlIlIlIrlpoloIlIlIlI

I think I look good. And other people think I look really good, like the other day at work a guy said I looked like a rockstar, and a girl I work with said I looked like her tween crush Jessie McCartney( if that's his name). 
It's sad, the lesson learned here is that no matter how good you look, it doesn't prevent severe anxiety by any means. In fact I think sometimes it can make it worse by knowing how good you've got it but feel like your wasting it. Everyone feels ugly at times, and either you can let it bring you down or use it as fuel to be better in other areas of life, so make the best of what you've got, you could be physically cripple or die in a car wreak, live life and enjoy it the best you can, I've had to learn many lessons the hard way and hope you don't need to.


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## xPhoenix

I know I've got pictures of myself as displays now and again, but to be honest I feel like I'm scum of the world. I usually don't ever do my make-up, I wear eyeliner so I don't look like I'm 12. But I feel fat, ugly, and like the world is saying, "ew, what the hell is that?"


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## theghost0991

I don't feel ugly, but I am certainly insecure about certain things.

I have man boobs
I am overweight
And I guess I give off a vibe some people flat out don't like.

I think im good looking in the face, though I look a little heavy and have a hint of double chin. 

I am not fat. In fact I just found out I lost a few fractions of inches of fat from following myfitnesspal.com

And just to keep you guys sure im not just here to advertise that website, I have made a couple posts already, one about what an insecure **** I am. I am just giving some advice for your guy's health.


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## Bert Reynolds

No I'm shmexy as f


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## incel

I´m fugly. I hate that I can´t choose a mate. No variety for me. Shame that some psychiatrists diagnose ugly people with BDD or Inferiority Complex or maybe SA. We feel social anxiety cause we´re not accepted. Then we get labelled mentally ill for not being accepted. It´s social darwinism. Eugenics. It´s evolution really. The ugly ones won´t survive. It makes perfect sense. The uglies dont get picked so they don´t reproduce. They get into a state of social anxiety so they´re isolated from the rest. Then that leads into depression and/or alcoholism. Then you can either join a cult or slowly wither and die, alone and miserable.,,or you can always do the unspeakable. The elite knows this. They make fun of us on TV every day. It´s amusing to them. I bet a million that anyone of us would act the same. We would never invite a feeble person into our elite circle. Then we would loose our validation. In a sense we´re martyrs for evolution. Sucks, because we only live once. That´s why religion is for the feeble minded. Like John Lennon said in a song "God is a concept by which we measure our pain". I´ll say it again.


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## SeaBabies

Do _I_ think _I'm _ugly? Sure I do, I've got a plain body and a round face, but not all other people seem to agree, and anyway I'm attracted to most all women I meet in some way. The only thing that really turns me off is fat, but even a little chubby can still be attractive. Now if only I was able to get a word out of my mouth when I approach them.

I dunno, I've been to parties in the past and stuff, but even there though I may have come _close _I always let my esteem get the better of me and say, 'Well, this girl doesn't like me, sure we're getting on great but we've both had a few drinks, I'll just be a regret in the morning,' and give up. Now I can barely go to the market anymore and any hope of getting a girlfriend have all but left me


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## dreamloss

I used to be really ugly. Chubby, dorky looking, glasses, braces, acne, never wore makeup. My family would pick on that a lot. They'd compare me with my cousin who was girly and pretty. Make jokes about how fat I was.

I lost weight though, grew out of my babyfat and I wear contacts & makeup. So I think I look good now. My relatives literally asked me if i had plastic surgery done. But I guess I just grew out of it, kind of like that ugly duckling story.


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## Phoenixica

A few years back, someone told me I was the ugliest person they had ever seen and several other people commented on how ugly I was. I was so angry and became obsessed with my looks, I had to ask my friends and family constantly for reassurance. I get the occasional comment on my looks now and I wonder why the girl I love doesn't find me attractive but I don't worry about it so much, because I've had a few genuine compliments on my appearance since back then. The turning point for me was when I started at the gym, and I worked hard to achieve an attractive upper body. I still don't like some of my features but when I look in the mirror and can see every major muscle it gives me confidence and the strength that comes with it makes me feel more able to defend myself, whereas back then I was being emotionally attacked and had no physical strength to defend myself <-- it's probably a weird way of looking at it but it's how I feel. I think looks can range/be improved more than most people think, if you're willing to take care of yourself.


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## cynocephalus

introvert0 said:


> Yes, I have a very big nose and poor skin. Social anxiety is almost entirely related to how I look and the thoughts of people judging me.


I think there is a whole subset of shy people and people with social anxiety who are that way only because they were born ugly. I am this way too. Being ugly made me realize I was inferior and unworthy of the company of non-ugly people. This made me withdraw socially and avoid people which reinforced my discomfort around people. Etc. The problem btw is not that I think I am ugly the problem is that I _am_ ugly.


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## theghost0991

Phoenixica said:


> A few years back, someone told me I was the ugliest person they had ever seen and several other people commented on how ugly I was. I was so angry and became obsessed with my looks, I had to ask my friends and family constantly for reassurance. I get the occasional comment on my looks now and I wonder why the girl I love doesn't find me attractive but I don't worry about it so much, because I've had a few genuine compliments on my appearance since back then. The turning point for me was when I started at the gym, and I worked hard to achieve an attractive upper body. I still don't like some of my features but when I look in the mirror and can see every major muscle it gives me confidence and the strength that comes with it makes me feel more able to defend myself, whereas back then I was being emotionally attacked and had no physical strength to defend myself <-- it's probably a weird way of looking at it but it's how I feel. I think looks can range/be improved more than most people think, if you're willing to take care of yourself.


Just how attractive were these *******s? The girl you like is probably smeagle underneath all her makeup. And guys are almost all pretty ugly.


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## Lianthe

introvert0 said:


> Yes, I have a very big nose and poor skin. Social anxiety is almost entirely related to how I look and the thoughts of people judging me.


Minus the poor skin, I could have wrote this...add being black, female and just turning 40...unless I can save enough to move to somewhere in Europe, I probably will never get another date again other than someone just looking for sex. :no


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## Lonelyguy111

*Ugly Is As Ugly Does... Or Something Like That....*

*I KNOW I am ugly !*

My mirror keeps breaking about once a week and I have to constantly buy new ones.
*
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, whose the fairest one of all?"*

NOT ME !!!!!!!!!! :no


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## Perkins

Yeah, mainly because of my bad skin. And I never liked my nose much. Or freckles. And I hate the fact that my face gets flustered/flushed easily.


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## diamondheart89

I'm about average.


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## oood

Yes. Increased paleness and darker eye circles don't help


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## Jimbob94

I don't think I look that terrible, but I'm sure there are some that would disagree. Apparently I look high all the time though.


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## ChrissyQ

.


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## quakergirl

Yes. But Im average when I manage to lose weight. At my thinnest, for example, I finally got someone to ask me out. Hasnt happened again, because, I gained the weight back 

Its hard to keep the weight off for me. To be size 6 I have to eat one hotdog link in the morning and a vegetable soup at night. Maybe a special K bar for a snack. AND NOTHING ELSE. Then (when I was slimmer) If I ate more than that, I would just puke it. And thus kept my waistline. I equated hunger=slim

But now, I have breakfast, lunch and dinner. I eat when im hungry. and Thus, Im fat. Now I equate hunger=annoying

But I shall experiment, because I cant keep looking like this the rest of my life.


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## quakergirl

> But I shall experiment, because I cant keep looking like this the rest of my life.


 <- I hardly go out because of the issue. Thats why I say that.


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## quakergirl

Thextera said:


> I don't think i'm really that ugly, but i do find myself way below average. I'm trying to improve with going to gym though... but i dno. Atm, i still hate the way i look :/
> 
> For me the proof was always that i didn't get any compliments really, outside of old people or people trying to cheer me up.


I think you are attractive if thats you in the picture. Im 25 and a woman. So now you cant say you haven't got compliments.


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## PaTrYcK

I wouldn't say ugly but I don't think I'm very good looking, girls have told me that I'm attractive but for some reason I've always convinced myself I wasn't.


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## bancho1993

I honestly have no idea. I've been called ugly but I don't see myself as good looking either. I would say I fall somewhere around average.


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## Jade18

Depends...sometimes i do and sometimes i dont care


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## 3r10n

Yes, very ugly. And it might just be the main reason of all of this.


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## SilentScream

This is definitely a multifaceted question. Do I think I'm ugly? Not really. I've had ugly moments, inside and out. I also know how a put down or mean word can scar one for life. I remember in 5th grade, I had this major crush (I find it funny now that it was so major in the fifth grade but ah well lol) on a boy in my class. I was playing keep away with a girl who was my friend and a few boys, him included. Well, I still to this day remember him running up towards me when I had the ball and yelling, "Throw it fatso!" Wow, that still smarts a little! I also recall losing weight my senior year in high school and still having no one ask me out from my school! It took a guy from a nearby town to ask me out at a dance one night. I truly thought changing my appearance would make me more popular in high school, but it didn't do a darn thing! Now, fast forward and I'm a mom of 3 who's been married for nearly 20 years and I see things a bit differently. I know what being in love is, and I know that my husband is my best friend. He's seen me at my best, and my worst, and everywhere in between, yet still loves me. So I guess what I'm trying to say is this: How we view ourselves is truly a mixture of what others think of us and what we think of ourselves. But at the end of the day, someone can compliment us a thousand times an hour and if we don't like the way we look, and hate ourselves, we're never going to believe them. What matters most is accepting ourselves as we are, as God created us, and allowing ourselves to be loved. Anyway, that's my two cents!


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## Carlfrukt

I know my body is ugly. I have an abnormally small body frame and no visible muscles. My upper body is crooked, my back is full of birthmarks, my lower body is covered with hair and I'm knock-kneed. I'm not really into relationships and stuff but I'm pretty sure no one would ever find my body attractive, unless they have a deformity fetish (is there even such a thing?). 

My face is not as ugly as my body and I can stand looking at it but it's still not what is traditionally considered attractive. I have a weak jaw and receding chin, upturned nose and bad teeth and hardly any facial hair growth at the age of 24. 

My "ugliness" is not the core of my social anxiety but it probably adds to it. Nowadays I don't worry much about my appearance but I'm still ashamed of my body and try to hide how skinny I am by wearing thick clothes. If I thought I was good-looking or decent-looking my social anxiety would probably be a little less severe but not much. I'm more worried about my voice/speech and certain personality traits than about my appearance.


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## inglouriousbasterd

I think I'm good looking actually. I'm 6 foot 1 inches and athletic but not very muscular. I just enjoy spending time watching movies, reading books, playing games that I don't feel like going outside much. Only problem is I have done this too long and feel very nervous when I go outside now. I'm working on dealing with anxiety and improving my social life but its going slow.


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## LostInTheCrowd

I "feel" like I'm the ugliest person in the world, but worse, I feel that my voice does not match me as a person. I feel that I have a weak and feminine tone voice. No one has ever told me my voice sounded feminine but when I hear it recorded it sounds very feminine to me and I can't believe I sound like this and this alone is why I have trouble speaking up and being labeled as "quiet". 

I am 35 and now enjoy being labeled as "quiet". At least I can identify with it.


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## mardymoo

I feel ugly right now. Although I have lost some weight, I am still overweight. I used to think I had nice features but my awkwardness and lack of facial expressions contribute to me feeling ugly.


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## Andras96

Yup, and there's nothing that I or anyone else can do about it.


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## mezzoforte

No. I just think I look normal...not hideous, but not gorgeous either. I know other people tend to have a different (either a more positive or more negative) perception of me though. The general consensus seems to be that I'm not a lot of people's "type."


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## Darktower776

I don't know. Sometimes I feel sort of ugly and other days not so much. I think my face is sort of okay but I wish my body was better- more muscle, cut, stuff like that sometimes. I've sort of come to grips with my appearance though as I've gotten a little older.


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## pollutedessence

This sounds bizarre, but I honestly go back and forth. Most of the time I would rather not leave my dorm room and I can't stand myself and then sometimes I feel like I don't look that bad and I want to get out. It makes me feel like I'm crazy. Generally, I'm not happy with the way I look though.


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## saturn21

pollutedessence said:


> This sounds bizarre, but I honestly go back and forth. Most of the time I would rather not leave my dorm room and I can't stand myself and then sometimes I feel like I don't look that bad and I want to get out. It makes me feel like I'm crazy. Generally, I'm not happy with the way I look though.


This is the same for me- it depends on the day.


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## mirahana

*most of the time*

Im the only one that weirder in my family..feelin like an alien..
Who the hell that created mirrorT^T
And the worst part is when i started to feel better bout myself
theres always someone fooling with my courages..and sometimes they make
me confuse..
like when last month i go out with my 2 aunts..they said just be yourself
if you want somebody to thinks that you're pretty..you must be confident!.
Then..we saw a girl(which i think she looks good) ..my aunt said to me
..look that *** hoe..she so ugly but tryin to be gorgeous..omg poor that dress..
That time i was completely go back down to the earth and acting like anti-social
person..i had to!
why the hell someone that used to courage us is the same person
that'll drag you drown..?
(Sigh)


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## Karuni

It's shown that I posted in here a long time ago apparently so this is an update post.

I guess I feel a bit better about my appearance after being in two relationships now. I've also lost weight since then. I've actually legitimately had two guys be attracted to me now. However, outside of knowing them, I still think I am hideous to the rest of the world. I have too many scars everywhere to count and a bad body type and face overall anyway. I never wear shorts to work or school. 

I do however like to wear nice clothes like cute tops and skirts for my bf once in a while. I used to never even dream of dressing up. It was always t-shirts, hoodies, and jeans. I don't like going out to places in them, but I wear them for him because somehow he finds me attractive. I like this attention that I used to never ever get. 

It's starting to suck again though because I'm back in school and have to put up with seeing all these gorgeous, skinny, with perfect flawless skin, pretty faced girls everywhere.


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## hermito

Yeh. I'm a 2/10 on a good day.


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## LolaViola

Yes, and I can tell by the way people look at me that they agree.


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## losthismarbles

mirahana said:


> Im the only one that weirder in my family..feelin like an alien..
> Who the hell that created mirrorT^T
> And the worst part is when i started to feel better bout myself
> theres always someone fooling with my courages..and sometimes they make
> me confuse..
> like when last month i go out with my 2 aunts..they said just be yourself
> if you want somebody to thinks that you're pretty..you must be confident!.
> Then..we saw a girl(which i think she looks good) ..my aunt said to me
> ..look that *** hoe..she so ugly but tryin to be gorgeous..omg poor that dress..
> That time i was completely go back down to the earth and acting like anti-social
> person..i had to!
> why the hell someone that used to courage us is the same person
> that'll drag you drown..?
> (Sigh)


Yeah I get nervous around people who do that. People say something nice to you then they go and complain about someone else about the same thing. Kind of makes me even more nervous.


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## losthismarbles

Right now I hate the way I look. So yeah...
Also I think I may have already posted on this thread. lol I'm too lazy to look.


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## KILOBRAVO

i spent a long time despising my looks.. it was quite bad and i would say , yes I felt ugly....and looked it ( my opinion)

but I changed myself. I got my hair cut regularly. made a strict regime of grooming my face and body, washing, and buying and wearing good, clean clothes, fashionable.... that match well in style and color and suit me.... all things I have become a bit obsessed and vain actually,. 

I style my hair, and am very fussy about most , if not all aspects of my looks.... and grooming. I love the contact lenses. that helped a lot.

Now I feel much less self conscious, and I feel a fraction more confident even. I have been told that I am somewhat handsome and good looking..... and I can just see it now.
However there is a little bot of self doubt....but its a good deal less..... ( still struggle with my reflection in public, but its not so bad now) 

Im not bragging at all here.... I am saying that if you really try, and do everything you can to HELP yourself rather than doing NOTHING and COMPLAINING.... you can make yourself feel a bit better by the effort and care you give yourself.... and it may progress to you even liking your looks. OTHER people may comment POSITIVELY.



It is something I never thought possible ever... but I managed it to a good degree ..... AND YOU CAN TOO......


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## oood

I oscillate between staring in horror at my face and walking around in public feeling blessedly average and anonymous. Actually, I've figured out that avoiding the mirror and minimizing eye contact relieves a lot of my self-consciousness about my looks. As long as I don't have to see people's reactions to me I can continue feeling like another unremarkable automaton just passing by.


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## Skeletra

I took a bath today. As I looked at my legs and my belly I felt disgusted by my body. But, today, I still don't feel like I'm ugly .

Although most of the time I do.


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## McFly

W A N D E R L U S T said:


> To society, they kind of hate my face. But to me, I'm like a goddess. I **** you not, I woke up looking fabulous, spent the whole day looking fabulous, will go to sleep looking fabulous and repeat.


If everyone here appreciated your creativity we would all be fabulous.


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## CatFiend

I don't look normal, sometimes i think its ok but mostly I think its not good.


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## Noll

I look okay, I mean everyone is ugly in their own way. I think if I improved my posture and cut my hair I'd come across as more attractive. But I don't wanna.


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## TooScaredToTry

It seems as though my perception of myself improves throughout the day. I think I'm like a 3/10 in the morning, but an 8/10 by night time, lol.

But I like to think I'm a 6.5-7 in real life (really unphotogenic). I'm really self-conscious about my looks. I'm afraid of posting my pics here in case someone I know posts here.

Could any girls give me an HONEST rating in a PM?


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## TabbyTab

I use to think I was hideous but then I realized with doing just simple things as letting my hair down, and dressing better I look p good. Also, as I get older it seems I get more attractive so that's something to look forward to. Idk man you just need to find what works for you and your appearance and show it off and own it. 8D


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