# Do you hate it when people say you're shy?



## here4umm

It annoys me SOO freaking much when people call me shy >:[ Especially when they say "oh get over it" and "face your fears". It makes me wish murder was legal... Even when I explain they think I'm BSing them. People think I'm ridiculous because I freak at the simplest things like saying hi in the halls (I certainly will never do that again O.O..).


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## Strwbrry

I really know that feeling... It sucks and it's like your mouth is zipped close at every attempt.
People said I was shy, if they were asked to describe my character (and they mentioned 'nerd' too). Well now I can give them the finger!
But please don't shoot me now, because my advice is (if you're not ok with being shy, some people are 
) to start slow and open up to people who seem ok. Don't try too hard.


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## Iota

Yes... and it bothers me. I know I CAN be shy but that is not all there is to my personality. I've made a lot of progress and yet still some people can't overlook the more introverted/quiet side of myself. 

I once had a meeting with s program director and she started out the conversation that way, "We know you are very shy and bla bla bla..." :blank She also stated that she "observed" me at a seminar setting (she was standing right behind me and I knew she was watching me) and said I did not initiate one conversation with my peers and said I looked down and texted. :um Actually I was taking notes and re-reading my notes and did not have a phone, and I talked to my peers as soon as she stopped hovering... but it doesn't matter. People see what they want to see or whatever their initial impression of you is. They will find evidence to support that perspective and overlook everything else. :no

Besides being called shy, the other word sometimes that is annoying is quiet.  Once I got a Christmas card from a woman and all she wrote was, "You are very quiet....." :sus

As for bad advice, I agree... one thing people sometimes tell me is "fake it until you make it" and I'm thinking (quietly) I've already done that... how do you think I got this far? But whatever. A lot of people don't understand because they really can't relate to some of our issues. It is very foreign to them.


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## AllToAll

I find it annoying because they're making a judgment of character. If the tables were turned and I said, "gosh, you talk a lot" they'd probably take it offensively if I didn't expand on it...

Also, what do they want? A cookie for noticing _something_?


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## GirlGristle

Whenever someone says that, I imagine in my head, "I'm not shy, you're just annoying to talk to."


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## mintberrycrunch

Definitely. Just the other day I was actually feeling confident in my interactions and I thought I came across as "normal", yet someone still pointed out how shy they think I am. It made me feel terrible, my eyes watered up and I completely lost any confidence that I had built up that day.


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## kilgoretrout

I've been called shy/quiet all my life. Sometimes a person will call me shy or ask if I'm shy in front of a group of people; what this accomplishes for that person, I have no idea. I know that I'm shy but I'm not gonna all of a sudden do a complete 360 because someone called me out on it. It's part of my personality!


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## WhoIAm

I know how you feel. I hate being called shy to. It as if being called shy is a derogatory comment. Being called shy in today's society is almost synonymous with a lack of ambition, lack of charisma, lack of personality, lack of being able to live life to fullest. Being called shy is like a scarlet letter. They brand you and the outsiders who don't understand who we are and how we feel make the meaning of when they brand us shy without getting to know who we are as people.


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## kittybunnycat

WhoIAm said:


> I know how you feel. I hate being called shy to. It as if being called shy is a derogatory comment. Being called shy in today's society is almost synonymous with a lack of ambition, lack of charisma, lack of personality, lack of being able to live life to fullest. Being called shy is like a scarlet letter. They brand you and the outsiders who don't understand who we are and how we feel make the meaning of when they brand us shy without getting to know who we are as people.


This right here


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## Joe

I used to care too much when someone asked it then act weird about it but im used to it now so im not really bothered.


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## ben88

it's more frustrating when i'm refered to as shy and quiet, it kinda does single you as different. Plus when you're in that category breaking out becomes hard because then people pick up on that, and i can't deal with that either.. being shy and quiet has become something of a self fulfilling prophecey for me in my life.


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## Lesprit descalier

Oh man I do. I especially hate those super funny people who're like "Watch out for that one! She doesn't shut up!"


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## Gidi

I hate it to people always say that crap to me


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## AJ54432

Yeah, I don't like being called shy but I rarely ever get called shy. People usually just say that I'm quiet.


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## Daylight

When this happens to me, I always ask them if they know what an introvert is.


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## vianna

nope. i have accepted it. this is me.


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## Arthur911216

Yeah its very annoying, but sadly its the truth, I just can't seem to connect with them but I hate it when they say it like it was a disease or as if I was doing that on purpose...if only they knew.


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## twilightmoon

here4umm said:


> It annoys me SOO freaking much when people call me shy >:[ Especially when they say "oh get over it" and "face your fears". It makes me wish murder was legal... Even when I explain they think I'm BSing them. People think I'm ridiculous because I freak at the simplest things like saying hi in the halls (I certainly will never do that again O.O..).


You have no idea. People have been calling me shy my entire life. One recent teacher of mine tried to put it nicely and called me "soft spoken" but the whole class was in an uproar like, omg she's so shy! she's so quiet!

It just makes me feel more self conscious and worse about myself when people have to put it out there like that.


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## here4umm

twilightmoon said:


> You have no idea. People have been calling me shy my entire life. One recent teacher of mine tried to put it nicely and called me "soft spoken" but the whole class was in an uproar like, omg she's so shy! she's so quiet!
> 
> It just makes me feel more self conscious and worse about myself when people have to put it out there like that.


Which is why it makes me feel that it's always good to have just 1 person that you can put all your thoughts and feeling and caring into and have them feel the same and just screw everyone else. You know, the actual definition of "friend"... too bad society doesn't work the same.


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## twilightmoon

here4umm said:


> Which is why it makes me feel that it's always good to have just 1 person that you can put all your thoughts and feeling and caring into and have them feel the same and just screw everyone else. You know, the actual definition of "friend"... too bad society doesn't work the same. I'm happy for everyone here who has friendship!!!


Ha. Well my friendship level is zero at school. There are people who know me by name, but it's not like I'm their friend or anything. We don't hang out. If they see me in the hall, they say hi and I say hi and the whole "how's it going" conversation but that's about it.


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## applesauce5482

Yup.. I hate it


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## here4umm

twilightmoon said:


> Ha. Well my friendship level is zero at school. There are people who know me by name, but it's like I'm their friend or anything. We don't hang out. If they see me in the hall, they say hi and I say hi and the whole "how's it going" conversation but that's about it.


That's always going on with me and the people who know about my problems say it sweetly with that sorry face then get interrupted by their friends "hey let's go to manor park!" and completely disregard me. The guys and girls do that. oh god that depresses me so hard... It's just another reason I like sitting at the back of all my classes! to cry in the corner with no attention :| I simply ignore everything and everyone at school and just do what I gotta do or I'll get a panic attack when it's so crowded like that. Sometimes I'd slip a convo in class to certain people.


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## Snarks

YES. I'm a completely different person without the SAD..


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## here4umm

Snarks said:


> YES. I'm a completely different person without the SAD..


People outside of school (just my brothers) say the opposite to my complaint, but nobody expects me to be any different in my comfort zone. If only they knew me...


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## twilightmoon

here4umm said:


> That's always going on with me and the people who know about my problems say it sweetly with that sorry face then get interrupted by their friends "hey let's go to manor park!" and completely disregard me. The guys and girls do that. oh god that depresses me so hard... It's just another reason I like sitting at the back of all my classes! to cry in the corner with no attention :| I simply ignore everything and everyone at school and just do what I gotta do or I'll get a panic attack when it's so crowded like that. Sometimes I'd slip a convo in class to certain people.


People at school dunno about my SA. Except the dean because I told him one time when I was at my breaking point, but since the school counselor left the school I've had no one to talk about it with. :blank

I don't talk to anyone in class. I've gotten to the point where I just don't care. Plus there are certain people in class I am very uncomfortable around. They're old classmates, and those are the ones who were there when another person was all, She doesn't ever say anything! She's so quiet!


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## Laurenanni13

I reaally dislike being called shy or quiet, especially by my parents & family! I don't understand why it's so bad to not feel comfortable talkking more than others do or at all in situations. Most times I do wish I was more talkative and outgoing so I could meet people but that's just not me. I don't know why people have to make me feel so alone all the time.I wish they would just leave me alone and let me be!/:


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## kittenamos

I know what you mean. I had a roommate last year that kept making comments to me about being shy. As the year went on I did start to talk more, but she kept making these comments. 

Once, when I went to eat dinner with her we ran into some of her other friends. When she introduced me to them she mentioned that I was shy. :rain Let's just say I didn't even try to make conversation with them after that.


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## CotLem

Yes, especially if I was just being myself. My personality is generally quiet in most situations so if people ask me why I'm so shy/quiet I feel like it's an attack on who I am. When I try to be extroverted I come off as annoying (to myself and others). There is no winning.


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## KawaiiHime

i hate being called shy and quiet, too. i'm NOT shy and quiet, it's just that i talk when i have something smart to say, unlike others who talk just to be saying something. :blah: i'm just not so stupid, like some people (girls mostly) who laugh loudly because of some effing thing that it isn't even funny. 
my experience taught me that if i don't say anything, the chances of getting bullied or laughed at are minimum. but i tried to be active, one and only time, during history. the teacher asked who would like to say what we studied the last time and i volunteered. so i'm talking about some guy who had a daughter maria, but she was too young to be a queen, so instead of her ruled her mother... and the teacher then asked what the others, that is the nobles didn't like. i said: ''because maria was a woman'', and then everyone in the class started laughing! :blank what did the eff i said, was she a guy?!


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## shatteredself

Not really. For me its nothing offending but I hated when someone will say that I'm an outcast.


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## morton

I cringe whenever people say it even though I know it is true.


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## Farideh

Yeah.. I do.. I'm just self conscious and I'm very introverted but this dumb girl told me right to my face that I'm shy and I'm just like no honey.. I just refuse to be around people who are not even my friends.


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## nevernotanxious

YES god it's the most irritating thing. Especially after I tell them I have social anxiety and they're like "oh you're just shy, we just need to get you out of your shell" and im like NO. IT'S A THING, A REAL THING, CALLED SOCIAL ANXIETY. THAT IS DIFFERENT FROM JUST BEING SHY. But they never understand. The worst is when they introduce you to someone as shy-that just makes me so mad and i feel even more awkward around the new person.


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## Pompeii

No, I've been called a lot worse.


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## nataliej

It depends on the person saying it, if it's somebody who I know means well then I don't really mind, but when somebody says it to me in a judgmental way and then tells me "open up" or "stop being so uptight" then it's a little irritating.


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## Greenleaf62

nevernotanxious said:


> The worst is when they introduce you to someone as shy-that just makes me so mad and i feel even more awkward around the new person.


Ugh, I hate that SO much. :mumBecause as soon as someone points out that you're shy or quiet then I just think well what's the point of even trying to make a good impression now?

I hate, hate, hate when people say that I'm shy. Sometimes I just want to yell at the person when they say that but I have to remind myself that I can't take out all of my frustration on one person.


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## PandaPurrp

Being called shy doesn't bother me....I actually call myself shy. What bothers me is when people say I _never talk_. I HATE that. I used to get this a lot in middle school and high school. They make it seem like there's something wrong with me.


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## A name

Not really. I think of it as at least someone is noticing me I guess.


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## Necroline

It makes me want to prove them wrong.


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## Pike Queen

Yes, I do hate it. And I wish I wasn't. At school (or anywhere in public, really), I completely clam up. However when I'm with my friends/family, I'm a different person. Why can't everyone see this side of me?


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