# My close friend didn't wish me a happy birthday



## truegenlus

With social media I know people expectations can be high when it comes to stuff like this, because Facebook reminds you of others birthdays and you can text people wishing seconds, but I'm really hurt by this. I'm not very close to many people, even this particular friend and I aren't BEST friends, but he's my best friend out of everyone I know. 

I don't make a huge deal out of birthdays, but I did wish him a happy birthday on his birthday (I didn't even need a reminder, I just remembered) and I posted a few things on my Snapchat story that made it clear my birthday was that day. On Snapchat you can see who views your story, so I know that he saw mine and knew it was my birthday. A few weeks before he sent me a message in regards to a picture I posted about my wisdom teeth getting removed and we had a conversation about hanging out together as a last hoorah before we headed off to college and likely never saw each other again. I've been there for him when he was heartbroken several times, I've stood up for him in every situation that someone tried to put him down (and there was a lot because his ex girlfriend liked to start horrifying rumors about him), and I've rooted for him and his baseball team on several occasions. 

I just felt like the least he could do was wish me a happy birthday over text. Am I overreacting? I'm so sad about this.


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## SplendidBob

FWIW people feel very differently about birthdays. I have literally no idea about anyone's birthday, no ****ing clue (only know my own cos its 11/11). That doesn't mean I don't care about them, just that the number of rotations of the earth around the sun since I was born has no meaning to _me_. I understand it has a strange value to others though (and for that reason I should make an effort), but I am just saying I wouldn't take it to mean anything _necessarily_. so:

1. It would only mean he didn't care if he _personally_ placed a high value on birthdays. I think .
2. Does he know how highly you value birthdays? If so then, eh, he probably should have remembered.

Not trying to annoy you, just explaining there might be a slightly different perspective here than the one you assume


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## Max Seigel

This actually just happened to my mom where her best friend didn't wish her a happy birthday and she was very hurt by it. Your best bet is to not make any assumptions. I would just say "hey my birthday was yesterday and I would have appreciated if you wished me a happy birthday." See how he responds and then let me know. He may be very apologetic and remorseful, which is good because it shows he cares and whats to rectify the situation. Or he may do what my mom's friend did and be less understanding and remorseful, which in that case we could talk about how you would proceed.

Are you overreacting? No I don't think so. It seems like you went out of your way to do stuff for his birthday. If you two are good friends that it is a normal part of friendship to celebrate each other's birthday. However, the only thing is that sometimes, people don't realize that wishing you a happy birthday is important to you. That's why in any relationship, it's important to communicate your needs. So yeah, I would reach out to him and say that and then let us know how he responds.


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## Lohikaarme

If you wish someone happy birthday, and they know when yours is they should show you the same courtesy and wish you back, IMO. It's only polite after all. Then again, not everyone cares about birthdays so it's like, meh.


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## Kevin001

That sucks, sorry. I know this feeling all too well.


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## Deaf Mute

I don't know how to feel about this because I'm one of the ones that hides their birthday, and feels awkward wishing someone "Happy Birthday" especially if I know that person's life isn't so swell or something.

I mean it can mean something as part of a whole, but to single it out seems unfair. I'd base your thinking more on how the entire relationship has played out. You've said you've been there for him and done this and that, but has he reciprocated in the same way, in his own way?

My brother is one of the most important people in my life, he's done a lot for me and he doesn't wish me a happy birthday because it would be meaningless between us, since between us we don't have to pretend about things. That's just us though, my other siblings and family don't get it, that it just seems insincere or a bit shallow to me if it's just casual words thrown at you JUST because of one day. 

Like my dad would say it to me randomly, even though we haven't spoken for like 5 years when it's not necessary, like those words are gonna do anything for me (Maybe on purpose to annoy me, but I'd prefer silence). But that's quite hilarious because it means I'm complaining about the opposite - someone (my dad) wishing me a happy birthday. What a cruel joke. x[

To summarize I would just look at the entire relationship as a whole and not single out things.

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Edit: I wouldn't bring it up with him maybe, because it might seem like you're asking him to owe up favours or something, keep tabs etc.. it might seem trivial to him.

I've had friends complain to me before about birthdays, how so and so didn't do this and that and speaking like the world owes them everything on this "special" day... which gives me mixed feelings. 

I'm not saying you can't be hurt, but I would put more faith in your relationships if you feel sincere about the individual.


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## ruinMYlife

nah, **** that. You should have gotten a happy birthday, end of story.


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## Dissipated

That sucks yeah ,happy belated birthday though :rub


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## Paul

It's odd. But don't play guessing games with a valued friendship. Ask him about it non-confrontationally so you can find out why.


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## Twilightforce

Nobody wish me but then I don't care about other people anyways.


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