# Ativan, Relationship, Sex and Impotence



## Anonymous1986 (Apr 28, 2013)

I have worked with a girl that I really like for the past year. I started seeing her about 6 or 7 weeks ago. Last night was the first time we were intimate. Things started to get hot and heavy when she let me know that she wasn't ready to have sex. Then she asked me if I wanted oral sex. I had taken .75 ativan about between 4-5 hours earlier. I generally take .25mg 3 times a day but I usually take more when I spend time with her because I get anxious before we go out and I don't want it to show. She started giving me oral sex and I was erect but after a while I realized I wasn't going to be able to get off. I tried to stop her but she said she wanted to keep going until I got off. After about 45 minutes I knew it wasn't going to happen and I stopped her again. 

She was really upset and I told her the medication I take might prevent that from happening. I haven't told her anything about my social anxiety and I have only hinted that I am on medication. She didn't ask me anything about the medication and she was extremely upset and said she wanted to leave. I texted her afterwards and apologized but I still haven't explained anything about the anxiety or medication. This morning I texted her and apologized again and she responded that it was her fault and she thinks we should stop texting each other for a few days. I have no idea what to do. I have been happier since we started seeing each other than I have been in a long time. 

The situation is made even more complicated because she is just getting out of a marriage. I planned on just giving her space for the next few days but I want her to know what is going on. I am not open with anyone about my mental illness besides family and counselors. 

Someone please give me some advice.


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## mikelicht (Apr 28, 2013)

just stop having sex, no one said you have sex before marriege!


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## TicklemeRingo (Jan 11, 2013)

Ask a GP for a Cialis script. No reason to be embarrassed, the doc will hardly bat an eyelid. They spend a good potion of every day handing that stuff out.


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## chickenfett (Jun 2, 2011)

Let time pass and wait until she is talking with you again. Explain to her (in a private setting) that it had nothing to do with her. Also, tell her that you have been going through some things too that makes intimate moments difficult. Ask her how she feels, and listen to what she has to say. You don't know exactly what's going through her head, especially given the divorce.


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

TicklemeRingo said:


> Ask a GP for a Cialis script. No reason to be embarrassed, the doc will hardly bat an eyelid. They spend a good potion of every day handing that stuff out.


i would get that even without any problems


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## basuraeuropea (Jul 25, 2012)

TicklemeRingo said:


> Ask a GP for a Cialis script. No reason to be embarrassed, the doc will hardly bat an eyelid. They spend a good potion of every day handing that stuff out.


cialis isn't going to remedy anorgasmia.


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## User5 (Jun 22, 2010)

basuraeuropea said:


> cialis isn't going to remedy anorgasmia.


Why not? It worked for me.


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## FerociousFleur (Oct 30, 2012)

Why not just be honest with her? She clearly likes you, and doesn't really know your situation. I think you should tell her specifically that it's anxiety medication, and it can sometimes have that effect, esp since you took more that day.

She probably thinks you don't find her attractive or that she wasn't good in bed. Especially if she's getting divorced... She's probably stressed out/emotional.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Night Cafe said:


> No matter what you say to them, girls always take things like this as blows to their ego and it frustrates them. But this girl takes it one step further by not even asking what the medication is and wanting to split on you. No offense, but she doesn't sound like a particularly caring or compassionate person.


I agree that she shouldn't take it personally. There are some meds where orgasm is literally impossible no matter what, so it's in no way a comment on her sexual skills or attractiveness when nothing & nobody could get you off.

That said, I'm very surprised to hear of this problem from such a low benzo dose. Benzos don't typically have sexual side effects, especially at such modest levels.

I also agree with the comment above about Cialis being useless for anorgasmia. It's an erection pill and you don't report any problem in that area of performance -- apparently being able to keep it up for quite a long while as she tries in vain to get you off.


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## basuraeuropea (Jul 25, 2012)

User5 said:


> Why not? It worked for me.


because cialis remedies erectile dysfunction not anorgasmia. and if your anorgasmia was somehow ameliorated via a pde5 inhibitor, then you certainly fall very far outside the norm.


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## savedbybenzos (Apr 8, 2011)

I had similiar problems in which you speak of regarding benzo use and sexual dysfunction. What I did was taper my Klonopin dose from around 2-3mg a day to using it on a very as needed basis. What I mean by this is that I was maybe taking .5mg every other day on average when my anxiety became unbearable. I do admit that while taper and even when my body adjusted to my new dose, I still had to tough it out through some lesser anxiety attacks and just saved my low doses for when it became absolutely necessary. 

After a month or so of doing this all for some stupid girl that broke my heart anyway, I was finally able to "function" extremely well in the bedroom and had zero problems. 

Good luck to you


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## basuraeuropea (Jul 25, 2012)

savedbybenzos said:


> I had similiar problems in which you speak of regarding benzo use and sexual dysfunction. What I did was taper my Klonopin dose from around 2-3mg a day to using it on a very as needed basis. What I mean by this is that I was maybe taking .5mg every other day on average when my anxiety became unbearable. I do admit that while taper and even when my body adjusted to my new dose, I still had to tough it out through some lesser anxiety attacks and just saved my low doses for when it became absolutely necessary.
> 
> After a month or so of doing this all for some stupid girl that broke my heart anyway, I was finally able to "function" extremely well in the bedroom and had zero problems.
> 
> Good luck to you


he's already taking the bzd on a prn basis, though, and clearly he needs it when he's socialising whilst on dates. quite the conundrum!


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## User5 (Jun 22, 2010)

"because cialis remedies erectile dysfunction not anorgasmia" 

If only sex were that simple. I don't assume cialis will work for everyone because it hasn't been studied enough, so to bark about how cialis rarely works for Ativan sd is playing desktop scientist. 

Erectile dysfunction and anorgasmia often overlap and there's degrees of severity for each one and they can bleed into each other . If anorgasmia is your issue, it might be due to the sensation of sex is diminished. Then again it may not.

What is known is that Cialis increase blood flow sometimes bringing sensitivity back even without directly affecting the nerves. That's just one possibility.

Seeing as my doctor suggested I try it and the pharmacist was prepared to explain the common interactions between the two (tremors, increase in blood pressure) it seems I'm not the only patron at the bar. Will it work for everyone? Probably not, but your making a huge assumption no study has concluded. I'm arguing not for the effectiveness of Cialis-Ativan, but in regards to you giving unfounded claims. Opinions are fine, if they're clearly defined as them.

Inhibitors, neurotransmitters and mind altering drugs are something scientists observe with a lot of grey area. Especially because drugs work differently for everyone.


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## basuraeuropea (Jul 25, 2012)

User5 said:


> "because cialis remedies erectile dysfunction not anorgasmia"
> 
> If only sex were that simple. I don't assume cialis will work for everyone because it hasn't been studied enough, so to bark about how cialis rarely works for Ativan sd is playing desktop scientist.
> 
> ...


so, again, we are back to the likelihood of cialis working to alleviate anorgasmia are slim as the phosphodiesterase 5 inhibitors are used to remedy erectile dysfunction and not widely used to remedy other sexual maladies, anorgasmia in this case.

if the class of drugs were found to increase penile sensitivity, then they would be marketed as such and their use would increase dramatically amongst those who suffer from sexual dysfunctions of various flavours. unfortunately, as of yet, this has not been found to be the case.

so, yes, while cialis has worked for you, perhaps via the mechanism you've purported, perhaps via a psychosomatic response, perhaps via some mechanism not yet elucidated, you are clearly an outlier in that your response to the medication is not typical amongst those taking such drugs.


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## MrHHarrison (Mar 14, 2013)

Anonymous1986 said:


> I have worked with a girl that I really like for the past year. I started seeing her about 6 or 7 weeks ago. Last night was the first time we were intimate. Things started to get hot and heavy when she let me know that she wasn't ready to have sex. Then she asked me if I wanted oral sex. I had taken .75 ativan about between 4-5 hours earlier. I generally take .25mg 3 times a day but I usually take more when I spend time with her because I get anxious before we go out and I don't want it to show. She started giving me oral sex and I was erect but after a while I realized I wasn't going to be able to get off. I tried to stop her but she said she wanted to keep going until I got off. After about 45 minutes I knew it wasn't going to happen and I stopped her again.
> 
> She was really upset and I told her the medication I take might prevent that from happening. I haven't told her anything about my social anxiety and I have only hinted that I am on medication. She didn't ask me anything about the medication and she was extremely upset and said she wanted to leave. I texted her afterwards and apologized but I still haven't explained anything about the anxiety or medication. This morning I texted her and apologized again and she responded that it was her fault and she thinks we should stop texting each other for a few days. I have no idea what to do. I have been happier since we started seeing each other than I have been in a long time.
> 
> ...


I can barely ever "get off" from a BJ, and I know most of my friends are the same way. She is being way too sensitive! Although a trooper - 45 minutes WOW! Mind over matter with that one, talk about TMJ!

She probably likes you, and thought you were really disappointed that she wasn't ready for sex (even though you probably weren't). To make up for it, she said "oh but I can still give oral!" And the fact that you didn't finish made her feel like she failed. Girls blow things way out of proportion. Give her her space, and let her come back to you, I'm sure she'll realize how irrational this is, especially after cooling down AND talking to a few of her girls about it. Good luck!

When you guys do start having sex, that inability to finish will be a blessing, and she will realize it!


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## User5 (Jun 22, 2010)

basuraeuropea said:


> so, again, we are back to the likelihood of cialis working to alleviate anorgasmia are slim as the phosphodiesterase 5 inhibitors are used to remedy erectile dysfunction and not widely used to remedy other sexual maladies, anorgasmia in this case.
> 
> if the class of drugs were found to increase penile sensitivity, then they would be marketed as such and their use would increase dramatically amongst those who suffer from sexual dysfunctions of various flavours. unfortunately, as of yet, this has not been found to be the case.
> 
> so, yes, while cialis has worked for you, perhaps via the mechanism you've purported, perhaps via a psychosomatic response, perhaps via some mechanism not yet elucidated, you are clearly an outlier in that your response to the medication is not typical amongst those taking such drugs.


There are many drugs with off-label uses that are effective at what they do. Clinical trials are required before companies can market its use. One look around these forums makes this undeniable.


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## basuraeuropea (Jul 25, 2012)

User5 said:


> There are many drugs with off-label uses that are effective at what they do. Clinical trials are required before companies can market its use. One look around these forums makes this undeniable.


the pde5 inhibitors are not commonly used off-label to treat other sexual dysfunctions. a quick check on pubmed will show that many of the drugs used for, say, psychiatric purposes, but not approved for such uses, as you mentioned above, will provide for an abundance of studies. additionally, a search for anecdotal reports on google will yield the same. however, when one repeats the aforementioned for the pde5 inhibitors and sexual maladies (save for erectile dysfunction) nothing showing efficacy in treating said maladies shows. i did, however, find articles to the contrary, which showed that pde5 inhibitors ameliorated premature ejaculation, which also fall in line with anecdotes found within forums.

one such meta-analysis - 
http://urosource.com/fileadmin/European_Urology/Top_10/PIIS0302283807009888.pdf

another study - 
http://link.springer.com/article/10.2165/00003495-200464010-00002#page-1

while i was unable to find a single academic study demonstrating the efficacy of the phosphodiesterase5 inhibitors in the treatment of non-erectile dysfunction related sexual dysfunction in men, i did find articles and case studies that are mentionable. to your credited point, for instance, i was able to find a number of articles that were specific to female anorgasmia being remedied by the pde5 inhibitors, sildenafil, in particular, likely owing to its age. i again, found a few case studies mentioning both men and women, although it was uncertain what was alleviated, as the case studies in point pointed to a number of possible sexual dysfunctions, e.g. loss of libido, anorgasmia, erectile dysfunction, et al., and did not differentiate between.

see -

http://europepmc.org/abstract/MED/10074875

finally, one that seems to fall in line with your experience, although as an individual case study, again, lending one to believe that the class of drugs mentioned are not widely used for male ejaculatory failure and/or anorgasmia for a reason - inefficacy demonstrated much more often than not.

http://journals.psychiatryonline.org/article.aspx?articleid=173247

articles not specific to the serotonergic agents in support of the use of pde5i usage as a remedy for anorgasmia were not found, although that is not to say that they are not in existence.

so, while you may be able to find additional case-study-type literature to support your view, your point was never contested as i have no doubt that tadalafil aided in reversing anorgasmia in your case. the mechanisms behind the reversal have yet to be elucidated as they, apparently, are seen so infrequently so as to not allow for a larger study to be conducted on possible mechanisms. a psychosomatic response is not unfathomable in the cases demonstrated, yours included.


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## User5 (Jun 22, 2010)

basuraeuropea said:


> the pde5 inhibitors are not commonly used off-label to treat other sexual dysfunctions. a quick check on pubmed will show that many of the drugs used for, say, psychiatric purposes, but not approved for such uses, as you mentioned above, will provide for an abundance of studies. additionally, a search for anecdotal reports on google will yield the same. however, when one repeats the aforementioned for the pde5 inhibitors and sexual maladies (save for erectile dysfunction) nothing showing efficacy in treating said maladies shows. i did, however, find articles to the contrary, which showed that pde5 inhibitors ameliorated premature ejaculation, which also fall in line with anecdotes found within forums.
> 
> one such meta-analysis -
> http://urosource.com/fileadmin/European_Urology/Top_10/PIIS0302283807009888.pdf
> ...


Wow, nice job on all that research. Surprisingly, I read a fair amount. I wonder what anecdotal evidence can be found via socialanxietysupport.com


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## basuraeuropea (Jul 25, 2012)

this site is a wealth of anecdotes - seriously. there are so many people who are afflicted by mental illnesses comorbid with social anxiety disorder or as stand alone/comorbid disorders, social anxiety disorder excluded (case in point - my dx: generalised anxiety disorder, panic disorder). it seems the user base here ranges from those who have social difficulties owing to being a bit shy to those with diagnosed extreme social anxiety disorder, to those who have any flavour or flavours of the anxiety/depressive spectrum of disorders, to bipolar variants, and finally those who have psychotic-spectrum disorders. personality disorders pop up here and there as well, with AvPD being the most common that i've seen. and then, of course, you find people with all sorts of other disorders, mental health in origin or not, who post all over the site, e.g. bdd, eating disorders, autistic-spectrum disorders, et al. 

anyhow, as far as anecdotes go, one needn't look further than this thread in your case, eh? 

the research, as an aside, took not very long at all. one learns to use scholarly search engines and databases quickly during graduate schooling.


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