# Clingy acting friend - help!?



## Christion91 (Jul 31, 2011)

So I met this guy earlier this semester and we talked and got to know each other. We became friends. We'd hang out, play video games together, watch movies, go to events, etc. I also found out that he lived in the apartment directly next to me on campus. Everything sounds good, but recently, it’s gone downhill.

He is ALWAYS wanting to hang out!


I saw it coming when he said he switched his Political Science class from early evening to the morning so ‘we would have more time to hang out.’ I didn’t think much of it but just having more time to hang out. Well aside from that, he always calls and texts me throughout the day, even when I tell him I’m busy or he knows I’m in class (Stupid me, why did I tell him my semester schedule?). I usually respond with ‘I’m busy, have stuff to do, studying, with girlfriend or whatever,’ but he’ll just respond, always asking me: ‘What time I’ll be done?’ It’s annoying me!


Even then, when I do get back late (late like 11 or midnight), I text him telling him its’ too late to hang out and he still insists on coming over even though he has 7am class every morning.


Just recently, I was hanging out with my girlfriend. He texted and called several times like it was an emergency. So I respond back:


Me: I’m busy right now
Him: Thought you were in the grave. I haven’t seen you since last week. I was worried man!
Me: Been hanging out with my girlfriend all day
Him: Where do you want to meet up?
Me: I’m not in town, over my girlfriends’ house
Him: When will you be back?


I don't know what to do. He tells me he has other friends but I never see them. He isn't new to the school and has been going here a few semesters longer than me. What do I do? Please help.


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## Tom90 (Mar 28, 2012)

Ive encountered people like this and i usually feel bad for them because i have been in the same position where i had no friends too. What i usually do with clingy friends is introduce them to other friends and then before you know it hes "too cool" to hang out with me. 
The guy really seems like he has no friends so dont cut off everything with him but try introducing him to other friends. Maybe your girlfriend has a friend and you can hook him up. He just seems really lonely he probably hasn't had friends since he first started college, it can get to his head. What i would do is help him make more friends that way he has a variety and it wont always be you he wants to hang out with.


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## Owl Eyes (May 23, 2011)

Let him hangout with you and your girlfriend and bore the **** out of him.


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## jlscho03 (Sep 5, 2012)

First off, I would really like to say that it is super awesome that you aren't being a jerk about it and just dropping him as a friend. I've been in his position and, while I never did it to that extent, I have been the person that depended on one other person for all of my social interaction. But I was never that social. I was cool with seeing the person once every month or two. And I was dropped, so I will tell you that it feels really bad, if you want to know how it would feel.

Anyways, I will say that he might be telling you he has friends so that you won't judge him. I do that all the time with people I work with. It's the one thing I feel the need to lie about because it is something that people judge so harshly on (or at least, that's the perception we get on this end). So, if he doesn't have any friends, he may just lie to look normal. Or he may have friends but you don't see them because they are out of town, in the army, or otherwise not nearby to hang out. It does seem like he is leeching on to you, which makes me think that either of those two are strong possibilities.

It's your choice as to what to do. I think introducing him to some of your other friends, or their friends, might be a good idea. 

Introduce him to a girl you think he would get along with. This could be a girl you know, your girlfriend knows, or a girl he knows. It might not be a quick solution, but if he were to find a girl he'd be interested in dating and getting into a relationship with, then that might help curve the clingy-ness to you.

If not that, then you might want to try encouraging him in something that he is passionate about that you are not. Maybe he's interested in politics, but you're not. You should let him know about any opportunities available related to that, like a politics club (do they have those?), and say that he should join that. If he'd want you to join, say that you wouldn't be interested in it, but it sounds like a good activity for him. It could be for whatever interest (even mild) he may have, I don't know what those are. A social setting will give him an opportunity to meet new people. Maybe it will make him a bit less clingy, but you two can remain friends. I personally like this option. You'd be helping him out, like a good friend. It might not be so good if his interests aren't really ones you'd meet others and do something with, though.

You could talk to him about the problem directly, although it would be hard for him to take, I imagine, but might be okay depending on the type of person he is. But maybe he needs to hear it. This would be a good option if you think he'd take it well. I wouldn't, but I'm overly sensitive.

Or you can continue putting up with it. Which doesn't really solve your problem...

Those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head. I don't know the guy, so it's hard to say what would be best. And some are quicker solutions than others. 


Anyways, I just want to let you know that it's nice that you are taking his feelings into consideration. I don't think too many people do that. People drop new friends quickly and easily in this fast-paced world, or at least it seems to me. I hope that you can get a little peace, and I hope that things go well for your friend, too. 

Sorry about the very long post...


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## Martindn (Oct 14, 2013)

Id say confront him about it, at least he will know the boundaries then and its not like you dont want to be his friend, imagine if you hooked him up with someone else as others have suggested and he was the same way he needs to know why he may not have many friends. Yes many of us on this forum likely are/were in the same boat as his friend, but being clingy is not a medical condition he can improve on it.


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