# My psychologist



## jallajallaping (Aug 3, 2011)

I'm seeing a female psychologist on a regular basis, after a suicide attempt. We've so far talked only in her office. But today she suggested we go outside because of the nice weather, a different setting. We ended up in a grassy field not far from the office. It was so nice sitting next to her in the grass and talking about various things, because I rarely talk with women at all. She is pretty and friendly. I wanted so badly to put my arms around her shoulders and hug her, but that would be completely inappropriate. I'm not infatuated with her, I'm just starved for physical contact.

I obviously couldn't share that problem with her, so afterwards I went to a bench near the local river and bawled my eyes out with sadness. I feel somewhat better now, but sometimes I really do feel like the 'Forever Alone' meme.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

I feel the same way about both my therapist & my doctor. I just crave physical contact so much that once I open up to someone - I want to be able to touch them. (You know, not sexually. Haha.)

I believe this some sort of transference. I'd like joinmartin's opinion on this.

But yes - it would be completely inappropriate to actually hug her. Although - I suggest you talk about it with her.


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## TyrosineKinase (Jan 20, 2010)

I have to mimic what others said. You have to tell your therapist this, so she understands what path to take in future treatment with you.


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## JGreenwood (Jan 28, 2011)

In my last session I thought my therapist was coming on to me...turns out I completely misread the situation (as I have a tendency to do) and I ended up embarassed and humiliated.


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## jallajallaping (Aug 3, 2011)

Hi all, thanks for sharing your experiences. 

She already knows I've never had a girlfriend and that is a grief to me. I will try to talk about it more, if I can muster up the courage. I have difficulty expressing my deepest problems. My psychologist already knows that too, since in some sessions she does most of of the talking and asks questions while I don't say a whole lot. But I think I'm making progress.


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## senrab (Apr 23, 2006)

yes, it's transference. I've been "clingy" with my therapist for years. I've told her several times that I think of her everyday and I wonder what she's like outside the office, what she was like growing up, was she a good student etc. She's never indulged any of my curiosities, but in some strange way, our discussing it made me feel more secure in our relationship and I didn't feel quite as "nosy" anymore. The only way to calm down about it is to talk about it...yes, even telling her that you wanted to hug her the last time. If she's good, she will be able to handle this with the utmost professionalism.


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## Xande (Jul 18, 2011)

JGreenwood said:


> In my last session I thought my therapist was coming on to me...turns out I completely misread the situation (as I have a tendency to do) and I ended up embarassed and humiliated.


That sucks! Hope everything turn out alright at the end.

I'm the same way lol, I completely misread situations. And if a girl is nice to me, I think "oh maybe she likes me!", but nope, they're just being nice.

I think I'm just starved for affection from a female lol.


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## lynnb (May 10, 2011)

I'm so glad you all said that. I feel the same way. Sometimes, I really wish she would hug me. :-( She really seems to understand where I am coming from...better than I do and sometimes stuff I don't want her to really understand. I had a pretty horrible childhood and she says that a lot of my emotions are still stuck in my childhood. I feel like she's really smart though and she probably knows this.

Sometimes, I will email her throughout the week. She's told me that, if I feel like killing myself or really-freak out (like I have a few times), I can call or email her. I try not to too much, but I think about it a lot. I like it when she gives me some positive, reassuring perspective when I am just all messed up. I see her right after work, so, sometimes, the things that have me stressed have passed and are not as strong, so I don't really get to communicate them. 

I really like having someone nurturing like that to talk to. I didn't have that growing up AT ALL, and have really never had it, but I crave it.


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## jallajallaping (Aug 3, 2011)

I talked to my psychologist more about how I miss having a girlfriend, and I've been thinking a lot about it this summer. She suggested one reason this is coming up might be because we are about the same age. So I admitted to her that sitting next to her in the grass made a big impact, because I'm not used to talking with women that way. She suggested it was because it reminded me what it could be like.. she didn't take it personally. She's smart.

Unfortunately, before we had this conversation she broke the news to me that she'll be leaving for another job in two months. Took me 6 months to open up to her, first person I've really opened up to in my life and now she's leaving. I hope I will get along with the next one that takes over.


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