# Motivation for sex poll



## Secretly Pretentious (Dec 18, 2011)

Threads centralized around sex seem to becoming more and more prevalent lately. And particularly with men, it has stirred up some extraordinarly powerful emotions. They seem to range from utter helpless despair to unbridled rage and resentment for the opposite sex. Although I can think up several motivations for sex, I'm curious to hear what your primary reason for wanting it is. I'm also curious to see how male motivation for sex compares to female motivation for sex.

I have a bad feeling that this thread is going to get heated and hostile fast. But please repress that as best you can. I'm not looking for a fight. I'm genuinely curious. So, please be honest and feel free to leave comments. For science, guys! For science!

Pie chart made and provided by Arnie because he's awesome like that.


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## Life Aint No Joke (Mar 8, 2013)

Should have made the poll multiple choice. I don't fit into any of those categories solely. I'm sure the same could be said for others.


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## Secretly Pretentious (Dec 18, 2011)

Life Aint No Joke said:


> Should have made the poll multiple choice. I don't fit into any of those categories solely. I'm sure the same could be said for others.


I know. I deliberately didn't make it multiple choice because I'm interested in the most dominant reason people want sex. I'm sure that most people could easily check off half the choices in relation to their gender.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Sex is usually for multiple reasons. For me it was often because I was horny, bored (wanted a little excitement in my life), and lonely. It's hard for me to make friends, so it can be nice to have someone to keep me company. And it does feel good when a cute guy wants to have sex with you.

In relationships it was often a way to feel closer and made me feel more secure about the relationship.


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## Life Aint No Joke (Mar 8, 2013)

...oh


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## keenehneh (Apr 23, 2013)

Selfish Validation. I know it's wrong but when I consider it honestly, I don't think I even want women half as much as I want them to want me. 

Deriving this sort of validation from sex is the cause of a lot of problems. I've only had one long term relationship, slept with friends girlfriends and ex-girlfriends, married women (once while a girl was on the phone with her husband...going to hell for that one if it exists), friends that should have stayed friends, "stealing" girls from guys who were more genuinely interested, missing school/work because there is an opportunity... the validation from sex overrides logic and responsibility. 

Just want to be clear though this is me and probably not most guys. There are some very nice guys whose motivations are probably wanting to express their love or the desire for some sort of connection or intimacy through sex I imagine.


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## DiceMan (Mar 26, 2012)

To spread disease.


JK....


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

I wish to enter the temple of the Yoni and commune with Venus, the God of Love. Her spiritual connection with the Earth will make me complete as a Man so I can transcend the bonds of this world.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

yes ...so I can achieve my sexual conquests/goals. 

shhh...


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## weird girl (Dec 11, 2012)

I don't want to have sexo yet


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

My genes require propagation in order that their information content be preserved and be robust against long-term environmental fluctuations. I need a fertile female for mating purposes as this is a suitable vehicle for the propagation of my genes. Once these genes have entered their new host, the vehicle that they are currently occupying may be re-purposed for protection of the new hosts such that they are stable against external agents of genetic entropy, such as predators. The new hosts then become the primary carriers and the old host may be sacrificed if necessary to defend the primary carriers.


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## keenehneh (Apr 23, 2013)

Ape in space said:


> My genes require propagation in order that their information content be preserved and be robust against long-term environmental fluctuations. I need a fertile female for mating purposes as this is a suitable vehicle for the propagation of my genes. Once these genes have entered their new host, the vehicle that they are currently occupying may be re-purposed for protection of the new hosts such that they are stable against external agents of genetic entropy, such as predators. The new hosts then become the primary carriers and the old host may be sacrificed if necessary to defend the primary carriers.


So you don't use rubbers?


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

More women need to vote on this

This is how I feel:






"You're a tourist in sexual perversion, I'm a prisoner there."

"For a man, 100% of the time he's f***ing a woman, it's the greatest thing that ever happened in his entire life."

I still voted for the first option, because emotional attraction to a woman equals sexual attraction to a woman, at least for me. Lack of sex makes me angry and frustrated, and it's purely a physical/neurological reaction, not some kind of "issue" I need to deal with.

I wish I had the *luxury* of being some tragic character who has shallow, casual sex with multiple partners. Oh wow, what a depressing lifestyle......


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## mzmz (Feb 26, 2012)

*until quite recently I would try to have sex with a man i could bear so i could avoid*

The last time, i found myself in a bad situation. i had been so fast to run into his bed (away from heartbreak) that i ignored all the red flags telling me how rotten he was.

Now i really like a guy , am attracted to him, yadda yadda...hes my imaginary bf. i guess i might never have RL sex again?

so...

its okay with me. my old answer would be "to avoid thinking about what i want"

The new answer is "I no longer want to have sex":|


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## PickleNose (Jul 11, 2009)

I've had all the sex I ever intend to have. My hand doesn't want to be fed, talked to, loved, paid or even lotioned. I'll never use my hand and find out I have 18 years to think about it every single day.


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## Life Aint No Joke (Mar 8, 2013)

always starting over said:


>


Lol, I love this


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

Curiosity I suppose. My level if sexual desire is rather low (but still there) though for some reason. I guess I'm somewhat curious about it. I don't think the first option is possible for me because I have little desire for a serious or long term relationship, nor am I capable of intimacy.


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## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

keenehneh said:


> So you don't use rubbers?


A 29-year-old virgin has no use for rubbers.


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

i officially voted the first option, but really its about 50% that, 25% i'm just horny and want to get it out of the way, and 25% just for pleasure and warmth and so we don't have to talk or find something else to entertain ourselves for a while.

i do "want an intimate relationship with a woman on an emotional, spiritual, & physical level" and it happens that spending time with that girl makes me want to screw. sometimes during sex its amazing and there's that connection, and sometimes i snap out of it and wonder what i'm doing and why.


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## depressedkat (Dec 10, 2012)

I have sex mainly because i am horny. It also makes me feel good to be "wanted" by a guy. Another reason is for the period of time i'm having sex, nothing else matters but giving and receiving pleasure. Also i feel less lonely for that period of time even if after it makes me feel more alone.

In response to the crazy lady who has no experience with men but yet hates them... Being degraded during sex turns me on most of the time. Maybe i am ****ed up, but i don't think it's just men who like to do it. Also there are dominatrix's who degrade men. When you learn how to have sex there are so many different possibilities. You can have sex as equals.


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

I want a girlfriend for the whole shebang.


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## ashli116 (Feb 14, 2013)

I’m female; I want an intimate relationship with a man on an emotional, spiritual, & physical level...I mean, who doesn't! Even the most cold-hearted female wouldn't mind having this. The only problem is that, these days, it can be really hard to find a man who can share with you an intimate relationship at the highest level...and most of time, it can get really frustrating.


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## General Specific (Mar 4, 2008)

A combination of option 1 and option 2. I'm not sure I'm ready for another relationship just yet, but I'm sure that will change in the future.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

Secretly Pretentious said:


> For science, guys! For science!


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## Durzo (Jun 4, 2011)

I voted for I’m male; I want an intimate relationship with a woman on an emotional, spiritual, & physical level.

But I was torn between that and I’m male: To please my partner (Otherwise I have no interest in sex). I would be happy having a physical connection without sex as long as it was agreed upon at the start of the relationship and wasn't a change later in the relationship. It isn't that I don't enjoy sex it is just that I find it frustrates me rather than relieves me.


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## Jones (Nov 15, 2012)

*Thread lock warning

*Attacks and replies (edit: replies discuss the attacks) have been deleted. Further violations will result in closure


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Jones said:


> *Thread lock warning
> 
> *Attacks and replies have been deleted. Further violations will result in closure


I appreciate the speedy reaction, but I am a bit surprised by some of the posts deleted.
I didn't see anything wrong with them. They just quoted or discussed one particular post.
But it's not something I want to make a big point of or derail the thread with.

So to get back on topic...
I voted _"I'm male; I want an intimate relationship with a woman on an emotional, spiritual, & physical level."_
Gratification, validation, curiosity and pleasing my partner are all in there more or less as well though.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Jones said:


> *Thread lock warning
> 
> *Attacks and replies (edit: replies discuss the attacks) have been deleted. Further violations will result in closure


Lol, I knew I shouldn't have gone to bed last night. Can someone tell me what happened? All I saw was the original post by Grand.


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## Limmy (Feb 15, 2013)

I’m male; I want an intimate relationship with a woman on an emotional, spiritual, & physical level.


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## Nono441 (May 14, 2012)

I wasn't sure what to vote, to be honest. I was divided between two options:

1) I’m male; I want an intimate relationship with a woman on an emotional, spiritual, & physical level.

2) I’m male: Curiosity: I want to find out what certain sexual acts are like

Because I am for one curious to know what sex feels like, but I would also like it to be meaningful. I went for 1 ultimately since it seems to be broader a poll choice.

I will admit though that I find some of the poll votes.. disturbing..


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## Soilwork (May 14, 2012)

You should have made this poll public as it is going to get sabotaged by Misogynists and Misandrists.

As for the question, I would have picked the first option if the term spiritual wasn't there. I went for other because of that.


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## Astraia (Mar 24, 2013)

I voted: I’m female; I want an intimate relationship with a man on an emotional, spiritual, & physical level

But I'd have sex just cause I'm horny as well, it doesn't necessarily have to be with someone I love...


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

I see you even included the TPower option..lol.


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## Monroee (Aug 26, 2009)

Female - Not interested.


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## talisman (Aug 5, 2005)

My motivation for sex would be sexual gratification and perhaps curiosity. I wouldn't necessarily be looking for a relationship just because I slept with someone. The motivation for a relationship would be intimacy.


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

ManOfFewWords said:


> I want a girlfriend for the whole shebang.


This could be a bad pun, also.


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## LorenLuke (Jan 3, 2011)

Three reasons:

1) Make them happy.

2) See what all the fuss is about.

3) Kids.

That's it.


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

Very little intrest.


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## trendyfool (Apr 11, 2010)

I think my main reason for it is because it's fun, but also, it has to be with a specific person, so it can't be about sexual gratification alone.


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## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

I want a relationship on a physical/emotional level with someone. I've never quite understood what it means to have a spiritual relationship with someone. Isn't that just a way of describing your emotional attachment to someone? I've honestly never felt anything "spiritual" in my life.


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## O Range (Feb 11, 2013)

I want to be loved. It just seems like I'm never the guy that a girl likes. I'm always the wingman to my friend. Always the friend that never has a girl interested.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

Who wants pie charts? :yay


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## Secretly Pretentious (Dec 18, 2011)

arnie said:


> Who wants pie charts? :yay


Of course there will be pie charts! It's not science unless some sort of graph/chart/table is included. I wanted to wait a week or so before making it though. Or until the thread gets locked. Can you still edit posts in a locked thread? If not, maybe I should make it before something starts up again.



huh said:


> I see you even included the TPower option..lol.


Of course! I can't say I'm a fan but he's still allowed a vote.



Soilwork said:


> You should have made this poll public as it is going to get sabotaged by Misogynists and Misandrists.
> 
> As for the question, I would have picked the first option if the term spiritual wasn't there. I went for other because of that.


Do you really think making a public poll would discourage misogynists and misandrists? As curious as I am to see who voted what, I found it more benefical to keep it anonymous. People are more likely to be honest if there's no fear of judgement.



arnie said:


> Lol, I knew I shouldn't have gone to bed last night. Can someone tell me what happened? All I saw was the original post by Grand.


From what I saw, Grand's post was the only dramatic part of the ordeal. The people who challenged her post did so with class. The response that was closest to being hostile was probably Isabelle's (which wasn't even bad) who said that she reported the post for misandry.


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## DarrellLicht (Mar 9, 2013)

I voted 'other' the first option sounded a tad idealistic.. and kind of creepy in a overbearing way. 

Basically I want a best friend I can ****. Everything else is a compromise, and I would appreciate some space.


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## dair (Jan 23, 2013)

I picked the first one, but if I could I would also add horny and curious. Also I'm not interested in the spiritual part of one.


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

O Range said:


> I want to be loved. It just seems like I'm never the guy that a girl likes. I'm always the wingman to my friend. Always the friend that never has a girl interested.


Back when I was making an effort to go to bars and hang out with people, that was the same thing with me too. Because I'm not the loudest, most dickish person in the group.


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## sas111 (Oct 20, 2010)

O Range said:


> I want to be loved. It just seems like I'm never the guy that a girl likes. I'm always the wingman to my friend. Always the friend that never has a girl interested.


Yes this. I just want to feel love is all. Though I don't really care for sex, I can get a release through with elec toothbrush. To feel wanted and appreciated is all I want. I haven't got much experience sexually, because every time a guy shows some interest .. It's only for sex, strictly sex .. A hole to ****, nothing more. I haven't been on a real date, I'm not special enough. If I get a hint that the guy is only in it for sex, I'm gone. Terrible feeling when I start to believe that a guy wants me for me, then at the end of the day it was in hopes if getting his dick wet.


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## Chaos Fighter (Aug 3, 2011)

I picked "I'm male: Other" .

I want to make a woman moan and call me daddy like in porn. I want her to be screaming and hollering from pleasure as I thrust my lovestick in and out of her (or as she bunny hops on my pogostick). [This will most likely never happen, though.]

That is all I want. Not the spiritual connection. Not the feelings of love and trust (although that would be nice).

Oh. I also just want to see the female body (*** and titties) nude, up close, and in motion for once.

Too honest?


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

Sex is mostly inspired by my body demanding gratification lol, although I want the act to only be shared between me a my partner.


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## O Range (Feb 11, 2013)

always starting over said:


> Back when I was making an effort to go to bars and hang out with people, that was the same thing with me too. Because I'm not the loudest, most dickish person in the group.


I got the same problem. It's because I'm the most soft spoken of us. Nobody notices me. There was this one time where I did make friends with a girl on my own, but after meeting my friend the next day, I was promptly forgotten about. Destroyed my confidence, but I know it's not his fault. He's just more interesting than I am. I'm a nobody.


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## sansd (Mar 22, 2006)

I don't care about sex until I find someone I like enough to want to have sex with. I'm not sure about "spiritual" but I voted "I’m female; I want an intimate relationship with a man on an emotional, spiritual, & physical level."


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## Cyclonic (Oct 25, 2012)

I've just lost interest. At this point I don't mind being a virgin.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

With 126 Votes:


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## Secretly Pretentious (Dec 18, 2011)

arnie said:


> With 126 Votes:


Or you can do it. Less work for me. Thank you, Arnie.


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## 84929 (May 10, 2012)

In the beginning I was thinking of paying for sex if I didnt lose my virginity by 30. But chances are I would have chicken out of it.

Really I just wanted to have an emotional contact with another person. At the time I wasn't in a relationship or had hope of ever finding myself a partner.

But lucky for me I hung in there and ran into a person who is kind of like me. we got along so well. We eventually became boyfriend and girlfriend. I am happy that I waited for him


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

I'd happily forgo sex for a guarantee of a generally high level of intimacy with someone I feel strongly about.


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## Alienated (Apr 17, 2013)

Sex what is that ? I vaguely remember it and it was good, but that's when there were two sexes, you know girls and boys. Now the guys act they want to be the girl, and the girls at like they are the guy. And now they are even swapping parts and organs EWWWW !!

You got to ask if they have always been what they are ? What the HELL !! Ain't touching that !!


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## Donnie in the Dark (Mar 15, 2011)

Alienated said:


> Sex what is that ? I vaguely remember it and it was good, but that's when there were two sexes, you know girls and boys. Now the guys act they want to be the girl, and the girls at like they are the guy. And now they are even swapping parts and organs EWWWW !!
> 
> You got to ask if they have always been what they are ? What the HELL !! Ain't touching that !!


......... what? :blank


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

Generally, I'm not interested in sex at all, but I voted for 'to please my partner' since... that seems to be what I have to do... though he may beg me and stuff <.< *cruel*


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## Khantko (Apr 27, 2012)

i have no interest in sex


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## bent (Aug 4, 2005)

For me it is a way to bond with someone but it doesn't have to be the most important way.


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