# Guys don't want to be approached



## girlyone1 (Jan 20, 2012)

Sick of believing that they do and believing them when they whine about women not being the suitors. 

It seems every time I approach a guy I'm interested in, it leads no where because I'm made out to be 'crazy' or 'desperate' for trying.

My coworker says I should sit and wait.

*sigh* 

What gives. DO GUYS LIKE BEING APPROACHED OR NOT?


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## Hate It Or Love It (Jun 7, 2018)

Men tolerate being approached. It does take them aback at first because men are accustomed to making the first move. If a guy is flirty with you and has yet to make a move, don't hesitate!


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

Honestly I'm always kind of like 'deer in headlights'. Like no clue what to do and anxiety takes complete control. I think as I'm getting older I AM getting better at it. Though I still always for some reason come to the conclusion that 'I should not be with this girl'...and I typically have no really good reason why not in many cases. (I think part of it is that I am just simply not all that keen on dating anyways, except for rare occasions). I think it depends though. If you do that to some cocky dude who is looking for 'numbers' on his 'bang' list....obviously I hope you wouldn't pursue those d-bags. I imagine it might be a lack of confidence, maybe. Like maybe I feel that way because in the back of my mind I'm like 'why the eff would this girl be interested in ME? What's WRONG with her?!?!?' Maybe you are just into that 'type'?

At any rate...all rambling aside...it probably just depends on who you are approaching. Maybe the type you are interested in just are uncomfortable being approached by ANYBODY. But, the key is to just stay persistent (not like STALKER-persistent, but kind of low key throw out some 'bait' every now and then and see if you catch...obviously that's hard for people with anxiety though, I know...just have to find what works and something that doesn't make you feel like you're being stalker-creepy). I don't think JUST sitting and waiting is the best strategy either. Maybe for some who have a 'reputation', are really outgoing, and maybe like to show off their bodies can do that. I don't think that type of attention is what you'd really want either though.

Hope you find somebody...but don't put any pressure on yourself! Pressure does lead to desperation. Although dudes are a little more idiotic when it comes to reading people, there's still a chance they could detect that.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

I mean nothing wrong with approaching/making the first move but the guy definitely should be the pursuer after that.


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## ThatGuy11200 (Sep 3, 2012)

If you're cold approaching, then I'd imagine it would fail most of the time. That would be true for men as well.


However, if there has been some interaction before, and they've shown interest, then maybe you come on too strong.


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## Savon (Jun 17, 2018)

They do like to but you can't bombard them with it and you need to know when to stop/hold back. Guys have comfort zones too. Think of your SA and what happens when you're put in situations you're not comfortable with and how you/anyone else on this forum would react. And you haven't said how you approach them that makes them say not so great things like that.

You might just not be their type, could've caught them off guard, maybe just the wrong place at the wrong time, situation might be too full on for them and they don't know how to react, they're not in a good place in life at the moment, he just doesn't feel a spark, etc. There's a thousand reasons why their reactions weren't what you would've rather gotten. Happens to the best of people too.


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

Savon said:


> They do like to but you can't bombard them with it and you need to know when to stop/hold back. Guys have comfort zones too. Think of your SA and what happens when you're put in situations you're not comfortable with and how you/anyone else on this forum would react. And you haven't said how you approach them that makes them say not so great things like that.
> 
> You might just not be their type, could've caught them off guard, maybe just the wrong place at the wrong time, situation might be too full on for them and they don't know how to react, they're not in a good place in lif. e at the moment, he just doesn't feel a spark, etc. There's a thousand reasons why their reactions weren't what you would've rather gotten. Happens to the best of people too.


Second this.


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## girlyone1 (Jan 20, 2012)

ThatGuy11200 said:


> If you're cold approaching, then I'd imagine it would fail most of the time. That would be true for men as well.
> 
> However, if there has been some interaction before, and they've shown interest, then maybe you come on too strong.


Do clingy guys exist? I think you're right. I'm a love freak. I will send a guy a million heart smileys because that's just how I feel. I guess that comes on too strong :/.


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## Kinable (Apr 25, 2013)

girlyone1 said:


> Do clingy guys exist? I think you're right. I'm a love freak. I will send a guy a million heart smileys because that's just how I feel. I guess that comes on too strong :/.


Being approached by you sounds fun. I'd think that would be cute, not sure what kind of guys would turn that down.


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## Ominous Indeed (Sep 6, 2015)

Kevin001 said:


> I mean nothing wrong with approaching/making the first move but the guy definitely should be the pursuer after that.


Why?


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## Alex4You (Jun 19, 2017)

You can approach me.


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## Blue Dino (Aug 17, 2013)

Once you leave, they will probably be giddy and be happy that you approached them. Even though they tried not to show it.


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## Red October (Aug 1, 2016)

Depends on the guy, and the person approaching.


Some guys want to be approached, and complain that girls never make the first move - but you can't generalise that expectation onto all men; some will think it's weird, some just might not be interested in you personally, and some might love the attention.


Keep trying if it feels right to you, but you can't expect every guy you make advances on to reciprocate.


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## Tealing (May 30, 2018)

So many peculiar replies. I'm so sick of this gender rule madness. We're humans too, not aliens. But of course everybody's different and will feel different especially in this regard. I'm sorry for what's been said to you. I think it would be sad if you stopped trying because of that, plus chances are always he might be shy or hesitant too.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Most of the time if you approach someone you're going to be rejected, (that's why people avoid doing so if they can,) however if they actually suggested you were crazy etc for doing so then they just sound like *******s.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Ominous Indeed said:


> Why?


Religion I imagine.

It really needs to die, about as much as I do.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

girlyone1 said:


> Do clingy guys exist? I think you're right. I'm a love freak. I will send a guy a million heart smileys because that's just how I feel. I guess that comes on too strong :/.





Kinaibhlan said:


> Being approached by you sounds fun. I'd think that would be cute, not sure what kind of guys would turn that down.


This kind.

Any approach would need to be chilled and casual and not overtly sexual or expressive of interest. Just initiating conversation will suffice, body language etc will be enough to demonstrate interest.

I would almost certainly say yes if she approached in that kind of way, was attractive enough, the right age, didn't creep me out, seemed nice, and asked me out somewhere I thought I might actually be able to handle the date (coffee etc).

A woman approaching imo definitely needs to play it down that is is is a date, say make it a coffee to discuss something or whatever.


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## Neal (Jan 14, 2012)

Every time I've had a woman make the first move it just mostly surprised me into confusion. Never disliked it, just wasn't sure what to do next. I'm not sure how guys without SA would feel though.


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## Kevin001 (Jan 2, 2015)

Ominous Indeed said:


> Why?


Just a personal belief.


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## SwtSurrender (Nov 24, 2014)

No they don't, actually they feel rather uncomfortable and run away when a girl approaches them and does the work for them. Maybe some don't like you, maybe some don't think you're their type, but most certainly most of them make you seem crazy or desperate because you took control first. You shouldn't think it's bad to feel that way even if others make you feel that way. Be proud you are in control and put moves on them even if they don't like it because deep down they do. They just respond how it best suits them given in the situation they find themselves in because they should be the ones to put moves on you not the other way around. Don't give up, keep doing it until you find one who's not as much of a *****cat! And don't listen to your coworkers, they're just following society social norms of a girl waiting to be hooked. Surely you can think better for yourself than going with what others think is best. Feel good about yourself and what you take control of even if others call you names because it's different for once.


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## Xemnas (Sep 29, 2017)

girlyone1 said:


> Sick of believing that they do and believing them when they whine about women not being the suitors.
> 
> It seems every time I approach a guy I'm interested in, it leads no where because I'm made out to be 'crazy' or 'desperate' for trying.
> 
> ...


well yes and no.. it actually depends on the guy.. like women.. not all are bad, there are good ones, and not all guys dislike being approached...
lets say in my case.. (which this is highly unlikely a lady would approach a 300 lb guy)
at first i might be taken aback and likely be highly on the defensive, not cuz i don't like it.. but my experience has shown me that guys like me simply are not ones women approach..... more like push away in disgust... and the first thing that comes to my mind is: is she trying to mock me? this must be a joke.... and i tend to move away to prevent myself from possible pain.. once a girl did approach me , and we talked for a bit.. but all the time i felt like she was just toying, that i was nothing more than a joke to her..... and after that i never heard from her ever again.... it kinda felt nice to hear good things from her about me...

maybe you need to be a bit more casual in your approach.. i dunno.. but


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

For myself (and ignoring my problems with any level of socializing), it's not that I don't want to be approached. It's that I'm too slow to figure out what's going on in the moment. Unless they're being very conspicuous about it, I don't even realize what they're onto until well-after the fact.

And maybe sometimes they're so cryptic about their intentions that I wouldn't think it to be anything other than a friendly interaction.

Even if you're going all-in (like, asking them out point-blank), you're still going to encounter a lot of rejections and resistance for much of the same reason why guys have issues approaching girls. It's just the nature of the game, and it goes for both sexes regardless of who's doing the initiating.

If a guy truly "doesn't want to be approached", why is that? Does he believe so strongly in rigid gender roles that you're turning him off just by doing it? What other gender roles does he buy into? How much does it matter if you're rejected by this type of guy?

Keep fishing.


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## KILOBRAVO (Sep 17, 2011)

Persephone The Dread said:


> Most of the time if you approach someone you're going to be rejected, (that's why people avoid doing so if they can,) however if they actually suggested you were crazy etc for doing so then they just sound like *******s.


so if that's true that rejection is what's going to happen most of the time, then in the world is it more common for people to be single than paired up?

it seems that instantaneous attraction to a person is not very common.

it would seem that instantaneous attraction to a person [and the other reciprocating that instantaneous attraction] is probably actually very rare.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

I'm not opposed to it. It would certainly increase the chances of whatever you were asking.


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

KILOBRAVO said:


> so if that's true that rejection is what's going to happen most of the time, then in the world is it more common for people to be single than paired up?
> 
> it seems that instantaneous attraction to a person is not very common.
> 
> it would seem that instantaneous attraction to a person [and the other reciprocating that instantaneous attraction] is probably actually very rare.


I don't actually think most people get together by "approaching", or not here in the UK at least. They get to know each other through work, or common friends, or I guess even online dating now.

Instantaneous attraction is very common among people. That unfortunately isn't the only thing that would indicate whether someone would accept an offer for a date.

In this instance, with women approaching men, there are a few reasons why a man would say no that are totally unrelated to whether they find the woman attractive, or even whether they liked her approach

1. Since men do the approaching, is she just randomly approaching everyone?

2. Since men do the approaching, none must be approaching her and she must be undesirable in some way.

3. Wtf is this? PAnic, run off into wall


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## Kalakotkas (Feb 15, 2018)

I wish I would be approached by women sometimes.
It just doesn't happen. I'm sure my anxiety/insecurity sends the 'stay the frak out' signal, even more then my general lack of attractiveness.


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## Zatch (Apr 28, 2013)

I only like being approached because people don't usually do that. If it happened all the time it'd probably get annoying.

I almost always initiate when I like someone nowadays. I don't like waiting anymore, I like the transparency of being the initiator. If I don't like someone when they approach I don't think I've ever been subtle about it.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

KILOBRAVO said:


> so if that's true that rejection is what's going to happen most of the time, then in the world is it more common for people to be single than paired up?
> 
> it seems that instantaneous attraction to a person is not very common.
> 
> it would seem that instantaneous attraction to a person [and the other reciprocating that instantaneous attraction] is probably actually very rare.


Yes in my experience it's quite rare for two people to be mutually compatible/attracted but obviously this varies depending on how attractive you are to the people you are attracted to and such.

It's a numbers game so you have to talk to a lot of people and approach a lot of people. Though obviously a lot of people just settle as well due to lack of options/loneliness/boredom/percieved 'easyness' of the other person and not being entirely repulsed.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

splendidbob said:


> I don't actually think most people get together by "approaching", or not here in the UK at least. They get to know each other through work, or common friends, or I guess even online dating now.
> 
> Instantaneous attraction is very common among people. That unfortunately isn't the only thing that would indicate whether someone would accept an offer for a date.
> 
> ...


This seems like an odd/interesting take though. If I was approached by a woman, even if I wasn't interested I would feel more flattered than by a man (particuarly if she wasn't aggressive about it, and accepted no which is something some guys struggle with.) The reason for this is that guys are more likely to approach people, so if a woman approaches you it probably means she thought you were specifically worth approaching and women tend to have higher standards (though these things may vary by environment and local culture. Like if a drunk woman approaches you in a bar this doesn't apply.)

I also know that a lot of the time even if guys (or anyone,) approach you they may not be your type so being more proactive gives you more control (even if you have to face rejection as a cost.)


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## absreim (Jun 19, 2012)

As one might expect, I think it completely depends on how attractive the approacher is, for either gender. I do think that there is still some stigma against women doing the approaching.



Unattractive person approaching = creepy
Attractive person approaching = completely appropriate, regardless of the circumstance


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## SplendidBob (May 28, 2014)

Persephone The Dread said:


> This seems like an odd/interesting take though. If I was approached by a woman, even if I wasn't interested I would feel more flattered than by a man (particuarly if she wasn't aggressive about it, and accepted no which is something some guys struggle with.) The reason for this is that guys are more likely to approach people, so if a woman approaches you it probably means she thought you were specifically worth approaching and women tend to have higher standards (though these things may vary by environment and local culture. Like if a drunk woman approaches you in a bar this doesn't apply.)
> 
> I also know that a lot of the time even if guys (or anyone,) approach you they may not be your type so being more proactive gives you more control (even if you have to face rejection as a cost.)


I think this is largely influenced from my own experiences.

It depends entirely on the woman and the approach. The only times I have been approached have been borderline sexual harassment. Utterly crude, highly sexual, and quite revolting.

On the other hand, were a woman I am rather fond of (visually and from her observed behaviour) at my gym to approach me, I would react entirely differently. Not only is she highly attractive (and obviously desirable) but I am pretty sure she has been interested for a while, and from what I have overheard, her approach might be a bit clumsy, but nice. An approach from a nice, attractive woman, delivered clumsily / with embarassment I would be all over.

But in my previous post it wasn't so much how I would see it (unless overtly sexual, then I wouldn't be interested no matter how attractive), rather I think how women would see them being perceived approaching a man.

Actually I was approached one other time by a woman in a group. She asked me to go for a coffee with her as I seemed nice and she wanted to talk more with me. I immediately accepted. I had an inkling she liked me, but she downplayed it as just two people going for coffee (which imo is the ideal way for a woman to approach a man, or to approach me anyway).

Someone overtly indicating they want to **** me and it being an obvious pick up, without a history of some obvious shared attraction wouldn't interest me.

I don't know how this is for women as well, but even if I find a woman attractive, I would still want the approach to be more friendly.

Not sure if this answers your question, or answers anything. I certainly would welcome approaches from women, but done in the right way, because the wrong way is pretty ****ing awful.


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## Solomoon (Dec 29, 2017)

If a girl cold approached me I'd think she was setting me up as the butt of a joke. For a lot of people it's easy enough to justify being ****ty to strangers, especially if you rationalize your actions as not being a big deal. There's no reason for me to believe her heart is warm instead of made of ice.

Now if I knew the girl for a while, we'd had conversations, she'd hugged me a couple times, she'd shown me warmth, maybe then I'd believe she was being serious. Even if it started as a long con by the time we were friends she might quit the idea or only ask me if she really wanted to.

Though I'd still say no unless I was so lost in the moment that my brain died. I'm not boyfriend material.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

splendidbob said:


> I think this is largely influenced from my own experiences.
> 
> It depends entirely on the woman and the approach. The only times I have been approached have been borderline sexual harassment. Utterly crude, highly sexual, and quite revolting.
> 
> ...


No I get that, awkward/clumsy is cute and I don't like very sexual come ons either. Or people being overly intense. If online I probably wouldn't even take it seriously. There's a poster on this forum who I had to reject four or so times before putting him on ignore and then recently decided to find me on tumblr to say he would suck my dick. But not only that, despite the fact that I don't display my birthday and haven't mentioned it in a long time on the forum he wished me happy birthday there without saying who he was so I said thanks but was unsettled, then he said who he was and said the thing about sucking my dick (I think he said a bit more than just that. But I've forgotten now because I blocked him which I think removed his messages to me.) I've done some awkward stuff myself before but... That's a whole other level. If not trolling, very mentally ill.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I think even if women were to ask men out frequently, it would be similar in some ways to how men ask out women. Good looking men would get asked out by tons of women, average looking men occasionally, and homely looking guys only once every few years if at all.


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## EggsBenedict (Dec 28, 2017)

SwtSurrender said:


> No they don't, actually they feel rather uncomfortable and run away when a girl approaches them and does the work for them. Maybe some don't like you, maybe some don't think you're their type, but most certainly most of them make you seem crazy or desperate because you took control first. You shouldn't think it's bad to feel that way even if others make you feel that way. Be proud you are in control and put moves on them even if they don't like it because deep down they do. They just respond how it best suits them given in the situation they find themselves in because they should be the ones to put moves on you not the other way around. Don't give up, keep doing it until you find one who's not as much of a *****cat! And don't listen to your coworkers, they're just following society social norms of a girl waiting to be hooked. Surely you can think better for yourself than going with what others think is best. Feel good about yourself and what you take control of even if others call you names because it's different for once.


I wouldn't. Not at all.

I wonder if that says something about me. Like I'm a ***** that can't take control or something.


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## iAmCodeMonkey (May 23, 2010)

Neal said:


> Every time I've had a woman make the first move it just mostly surprised me into confusion. Never disliked it, just wasn't sure what to do next.


Same lol


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## Joey2k (Jan 20, 2018)

I have never, in my 40-something years, approached/pursued a woman or made the first move. I wouldn't even think about trying anything or making a move without overwhelming indication that she was receptive and would not decline. Every relationship I'v ever had, the woman has made the first move, or at least made it so overwhelmingly obvious that she was interested that I was not worried about rejection.

That said...



girlyone1 said:


> Do clingy guys exist? I think you're right. I'm a love freak. *I will send a guy a million heart smileys *because that's just how I feel. I guess that comes on too strong :/.


...this would creep me out and would probably cause me to withdraw/back away.


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## Alex4You (Jun 19, 2017)

I'm not sure what kind of guys you are approaching, but I personally appreciate when a girl comes to me and I think most guys would, too. It's flattering of course, and it shows she has confidence which is attractive. I can't stand girls who demand that guys approach them only and would never make the first move. In my opinion, both guys and girls should approach anyone they are interested in whenever they feel like it. Only really old-fashioned conservative people have a problem with women approaching men.


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## Rebootplease (Dec 5, 2017)

Yeah,i like it


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## SofaKing (May 9, 2014)

I disagree...I've been approached twice and started relationships subsequently.


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

komorikun said:


> I think even if women were to ask men out frequently, it would be similar in some ways to how men ask out women. Good looking men would get asked out by tons of women, average looking men occasionally, and homely looking guys only once every few years if at all.


Sometimes with pretty men, women, some think are taken already or must go for other pretty people.

Good looking men, women get flirted with a lot.

I noticed from observation, it can be common by multiple women flirting at same time for pretty men at stores, walking along the road, etc.

With pretty women, men just approach, sometimes sit down and try to ask out.

In both cases, like said in this thread, either men or women have to accept the approach.


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## BlackHorse (Jun 4, 2017)

Yep : )


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

ANX1 said:


> Sometimes with pretty men, women, some think are taken already or must go for other pretty people.
> 
> Good looking men, women get flirted with a lot.
> 
> ...


This is a gross oversimplification of what you're observing. I've never seen this happen and I've been out and about a lot. I've been in lots of social situations and on the side of the street is not the appropriate place to engage in hitting on people. Doing so would probably get you laughed at.

It's at social engagements or social settings that this happens and it's not like they just randomly get approached by women all of the time. Take it from one of those "pretty boys". I might not be the most attractive dude, but I definitely score high enough on the scale. What you're missing the social finesse or prowess they also possess. Some part of their social character is also attractive, making them very attractive to the opposite sex.

People like me because I'm positive, upbeat, and always moving forward. I'm not afraid to have a good time but I also commit myself to things and work crazy hard. I don't get upset when things don't go my way. I also know what to say at the right times. It's a combination of traits that makes me attractive. And if you think every girl is just throwing their panties at me left and right then you're living in a fantasy world.

First, most girls I talk to are actually already in a relationship. You might not find out until you're sitting down eating lunch with them for the fifth time. It's a social navigation that takes a lot of finesse if you're actively looking for a relationship, while a wedding/engagement ring is an instant notification to you that they're not looking for romance, that doesn't mean they don't already have a boyfriend.

For a girl to approach a guy she likes it's sort of the same thing. If she knows he's single it takes this point of anxiety out of it, but it's still like, "Well what if they're not interested in me?" It's a very real thing and I've been rejected by girls before despite playing all my social/physical cards on the table. Sometimes you're just not their type, but if you get dejected by that it's not going to work in your favor and you're only going to find anyone only if you move forward and make a move.

If you're looking for sex just go to a bar or something, but if you're looking for a relationship; that's way harder.


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## Mondo_Fernando (Jun 26, 2014)

Sacrieur said:


> This is a gross oversimplification of what you're observing. I've never seen this happen and I've been out and about a lot. I've been in lots of social situations and on the side of the street is not the appropriate place to engage in hitting on people. Doing so would probably get you laughed at.
> 
> It's at social engagements or social settings that this happens and it's not like they just randomly get approached by women all of the time. Take it from one of those "pretty boys". I might not be the most attractive dude, but I definitely score high enough on the scale. What you're missing the social finesse or prowess they also possess. Some part of their social character is also attractive, making them very attractive to the opposite sex.
> 
> ...


It has happened to me more than once with multiple women at same time in same place or one after the other or on their own with a friends help and I'm supposedly a pretty boy according to an older woman. So I'm speaking from observation, life experience.

Being a one woman man it doesn't really interest me much and makes me feel uncomfortable. In addition, I knew some approaches weren't genuine, more want to sleep with me approaches (impression I got when started to look at me in a certain way).

Other one happened to a man who approached a blond. Never seen a quicker rejection before that.

I have been rejected before based on not their type, but usually only when I approached. One time when I was younger a woman sat down next to me and said she didn't feel anything. Sat down next to a blond pretty boy and dated him. They eventually broke up and her friends said she should have dated me, but she kept repeating the same thing, didn't feel anything.

So I know I'm not every woman's type for many reasons like haircut, haircolour, body type, etc. But learnt what my type was.


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## shyraclifford (Jun 24, 2018)

most guys get flustered if a stranger girl comes on to them strong. i find smiling, eye contact and body language will make them appear before you. of course they must find your appearance appealing to them. i never rush a guy's attention by being too aggressive.


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## BlackHorse (Jun 4, 2017)

Approach me <3 you massive chocolate bar.


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## Tomatmacka (May 24, 2018)

Confident guys like it, insecure guys don't.


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## Xemnas (Sep 29, 2017)

Tomatmacka said:


> Confident guys like it, insecure guys don't.


as a guy wit self confidence issues.. i can say is not that we don't like it... is just that since we believe we are not good enoguh for any lady.. our insecurities flare up..
and for me personally i tend to think that they just want to mock me, and just have a laugh and at the end call me a looser or the like


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## Tomatmacka (May 24, 2018)

Xemnas said:


> as a guy wit self confidence issues.. i can say is not that we don't like it... is just that since we believe we are not good enoguh for any lady.. our insecurities flare up..
> and for me personally i tend to think that they just want to mock me, and just have a laugh and at the end call me a looser or the like


Exactly. That's what one may think. They put the idea in their heads and then it's stuck there. That's why women believe guys aren't approachable, because you send them completely opposite signals.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

Xemnas said:


> as a guy wit self confidence issues.. i can say is not that we don't like it... is just that since we believe we are not good enoguh for any lady.. our insecurities flare up..
> and for me personally i tend to think that they just want to mock me, and just have a laugh and at the end call me a looser or the like


I always figured it would take a lot of the insecurity out of it O_O


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## ThatGuy11200 (Sep 3, 2012)

Sacrieur said:


> I always figured it would take a lot of the insecurity out of it O_O


For some people it might. I don't feel like I have the personality to interest someone I don't know who might approach me (not that that's ever happened). That's the same reason I would never approach a woman who seems to be giving me the eye. I'd need to get to know someone before they show any interest, so I can be confident that they actually like my personality. Otherwise I feel like I'm going to be in for a major disappointment.


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