# Very educated women



## JenN2791 (Aug 21, 2011)

Alright two different questions here so everyone can answer:


GUYS:
What are your thoughts on women being very educated? College-bound? College graduate? And so forth? Is intellectual attractive?

GIRLS:
Have you ever had an experience where a guy felt you were "too smart"?

I know these questions may seem so odd but I have heard some guys feel "threatened" when a lady they're dating is very educated. I never understood why to be honest, but I'd like to see what people's input on that is here.

I was in a relationship with a guy 2 yrs ago who always called me a smart a--, overachiever, etc. after whenever I helped him with his homework (he would ask for help). He used to ask me all the time why I'm even going to college (he hated school, didn't wanna do that nor work, so I guess that's a whole different picture).

But ya... carry on lol


----------



## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

It's great that you are in college, but most people I know in my social circle have advanced degrees beyond a 4 year college level. It wouldn't intimidate or make me think any less of someone if they did or didn't. I wouldn't care even if you didn't go to college, but being smarter than a 5th grader is necessary. I don't think going to college, or having a college degree is a good marker for intelligence at all. I feel social intelligence is more important and far outweighs school intelligence.


----------



## Ape in space (May 31, 2010)

Two things:

One is that I'm a bit uncomfortable with people who are highly educated and in the same field as me. It makes me feel like there are expectations on me to prove how smart I am. If they're highly educated in a different field, I'm more comfortable with it. (This goes for both girls and guys.)

The other thing is, I would very much like a girl who is well educated, but I wouldn't like it if our conversation is always about highly intellectual stuff. Although my main interests are in intellectual things, when I talk to someone, I usually don't like to talk about these things. I like these conversations to be about casual things and I want to feel a real connection rather than blandly discussing some high-end subject. Of course, sometimes having these higher conversations is just fine. (Again, this applies both to girls and to male friends.)

So in summary, I like smart girls, but I wouldn't want our relationship to revolve completely around intellectual matters. Just being able to share in my interests, intellectual and otherwise, is enough.


----------



## shynesshellasucks (May 10, 2008)

I don't think it makes much of a difference for me.


----------



## Odd Times (Jul 27, 2011)

I really like girls that are very bright and care about their future, it's just something I like to see in a woman. I consider myself an intelligent guy and I love to have intelligent conversations with a woman. 

Problem is, at my school you ask most girls about a science class they are taking, like Chem or Bio, they say "oh I don't really like that class or care about it".


----------



## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

I'm attracted to guys who are attracted to women who are smart so this has never been a problem for me.


----------



## Charizard (Feb 16, 2011)

JenN2791 said:


> Is intellectual attractive?


Yes, absolutely.

I used to know a girl who was pretty smart, but as soon as she was around "the popular kids", she would turn on dumb blonde mode. It was kind of depressing to watch, honestly.


----------



## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I find intelligence very appealing, so any woman with a high level of education I am especially fond. The only problem with women with high levels of education means they are typically more busy with their careers, etc, and I find it could be hard to have time for each other. But then again, some people can get good grades and still be dumb as hell...

Intelligence is a turn on!

I've come to find intelligence comes in categories. Knowledge and wisdom are the grandparents of intelligence. Don't **** with knowledge! Knowledge is more broad and encompassing in my opinion.

Look how smart I am!

Let me also add that someone who always states or boasts about their intelligence generally are less attractive. A person who is both humble and intelligent is more preferred! I don't want a know-it-all! Normal people walk around and they can appear average but people in general are very intelligent beings (a lot of them anyway). Never underestimate an "average joe/sally". Intelligence is more the capacity to learn specifics and work with details anyway, which is why monkeys are less intelligent creatures. Intelligence is the capacity to learn.

Humble + intelligence = smoking! Don't be a know-it-all!


----------



## sas111 (Oct 20, 2010)

Sure, intelligence is a turn on. Then again, as long as we can hold a proper conversation theirs no need to show off. I want a real, down to earth girl with deep conversation & that doesn't always require overly high intelligence. Just relax & don't take life so seriously.


----------



## odd_one_out (Aug 22, 2006)

Going by the past I don't think it made a difference to how well we got on. Just because they're intellectual, doesn't mean they'll converse with me properly and vice versa. Doesn't mean their other qualities are any good and we click. 

I just want someone who'll listen and talk to me about such things and help me analyse everything. I only knew maybe one university educated person out of those I was close to there who did this. Two hadn't gone to university but had such discussions with me. It'd be refreshing to have more of such discussions with the educated (self or otherwise), but they'd have to be at a really high level for me to get much more out of it than with the uneducated. I must admit though it's unattractive when people come out with ridiculously illogical, bigoted or ignorant statements.


----------



## JenN2791 (Aug 21, 2011)

bwidger85 said:


> Humble + intelligence = smoking! Don't be a know-it-all!


Yes yes very much agreed


----------



## ThisGuy (Jul 13, 2010)

rdrr said:


> It's great that you are in college, but most people I know in my social circle have advanced degrees beyond a 4 year college level. It wouldn't intimidate or make me think any less of someone if they did or didn't. I wouldn't care even if you didn't go to college, but being smarter than a 5th grader is necessary. I don't think going to college, or having a college degree is a good marker for intelligence at all. I feel social intelligence is more important and far outweighs school intelligence.


I can agree with this.



Ape in space said:


> Two things:
> 
> One is that I'm a bit uncomfortable with people who are highly educated and in the same field as me. It makes me feel like there are expectations on me to prove how smart I am. If they're highly educated in a different field, I'm more comfortable with it. (This goes for both girls and guys.)
> ...


I feel the same way being in the CS field. The girl doesn't necessarily have to be an intellectual. When some people say "intellectual", I can't help but think of an academic who can't have a conservation without throwing around big words and impressive lingo. That's a bit of a turn-off, to be honest.

Social intelligence and carrying oneself as an adult should takes precedence over institutional academic achievements, or otherwise advanced career-oriented goals. People change, and hence their interests, so it'd be unreasonable to expect them to have everything together at a particular point in time. Have reachable goals, and find a way to pursue them.

A well-rounded girl who has a good head on her shoulders is most I could ask for right now.*

*My perspective and preferences are most likely always changing. :b


----------



## Rodeo3point2 (Jun 18, 2011)

One of the biggest turn offs for me is to see someone who is clearly trying to make themselves look less intelligent to appear less threatening, more attractive, etc. That being said most guys don't care either way from what I've seen. Although some whom I've previously thought to be fairly progressive expect their partners to stay home or work part-time at a no-brainer job after they have kids. Lame.

If you have something your passionate about you should probably clear that up pretty early on. Make sure you won't get in any arguments over how you *use* your intelligence, especially at the workplace.

Just my caveat.


----------



## Johnny_Genome (Nov 11, 2003)

Intelligence is a turn on, but it's really driven by how much we have in common. Honestly, there are some fields that are more intimidating than others, like if she's a doctor or lawyer, I'd just feel inadequate -- like she deserves someone better. Artistic or philosophical intellect is much more appealing to me.


----------



## Lisa (Jul 8, 2006)

I tend to only go for men who are similarly educated. In my experience too large a difference will cause insecurities in one person and that leads to friction.


----------



## Perkins (Dec 14, 2010)

rdrr said:


> It's great that you are in college, but most people I know in my social circle have advanced degrees beyond a 4 year college level. It wouldn't intimidate or make me think any less of someone if they did or didn't.* I wouldn't care even if you didn't go to college, but being smarter than a 5th grader is necessary. I don't think going to college, or having a college degree is a good marker for intelligence at all. I feel social intelligence is more important and far outweighs school intelligence.*


Agreed 100%.


----------



## Cynical (Aug 23, 2011)

I find intelligent women very attractive. Having a serious conversation once in a while really works wonders with me. I don't want to generalize but it gets old when your girl friends just spew none stop stories about how cute is ___ and how I love that and how does this look on me.... I'm fine with it but uh it gets stale sometimes...


----------



## Propaganda (Oct 26, 2010)

It all boils down if she holds her education over me or not. Being corrected on my assumptions is one thing (and very welcome) but being snubbed because I don't know Alexander III of Macedon's childhood friend is completely another, sometimes it's called being a *****.


----------



## Marakunda (Jun 7, 2011)

If anything it's a positive, fur sure...


----------



## mike285 (Aug 21, 2010)

Odd Times said:


> I really like girls that are very bright and care about their future, it's just something I like to see in a woman. I consider myself an intelligent guy and I love to have intelligent conversations with a woman.
> 
> Problem is, at my school you ask most girls about a science class they are taking, like Chem or Bio, they say "oh I don't really like that class or care about it".


Just because a girl doesn't like chem or bio doesn't make her less of an intellectual...

Back to the JenN2791, I actually prefer girls who are intelligent and ambitious as long as they are down to earth, but that's just me. I don't know if a relationship would work with someone who doesn't even want to go college. We'd be very different people and it probably wouldn't work out. I like a girl who wants to educated and has major goals in her life.


----------



## melissa75 (Feb 16, 2010)

JenN2791 said:


> *GIRLS:*
> *Have you ever had an experience where a guy felt you were "too smart"?*


To answer your question, I've had experience where guys assumed I was too smart due to my education. I have a graduate degree in addition to an undergrad. and for some reason, some guys think that's intimidating. I just happen to be a little book smart and really know how to apply myself in school. I would not consider myself highly intelligent by any means, so it's very frustrating when guys say I'm out of their reach. Why? Because I'm educated?

I honestly don't care if whoever I'm interested in has gotten an education or is making as much money as I am. I just want to meet someone I'm actually attracted to and want to spend my free time with. I don't think I'm better...I'll just be happy to have found someone that I love being around. As a side note, I know several guys that are very intelligent and did not obtain a college degree. So, really, it just shouldn't make a difference.


----------



## fatelogic (Jun 21, 2011)

Intelligent females are attractive to me... though I don't really see anyone who is college bound, or a college graduate, or anything school related for that matter, as being “very educated.” 


it sounds more to me like his insecurities made you feel like you where at fault in the derailment of the relationship. and you perceiving like your "intelligence" is to blame. Which you can do the same thing to another guy (ideologies are contagious too not just viruses) and the cycle will continue. IOW, the probability of you doing the same thing to a “confused” guy gets higher after you experiences relationships with confused people... but I am no Dr. Phil. Lol


intelligent females are awesome though. IMO


----------



## CaptainRoommate (Aug 15, 2011)

I've always felt sort of one dimensional because I was always good at schoolwork, got good grades, etc. I was the "quiet kid" and the "smart kid" and not much else for most of my life, so I value intellect highly. I need people to contribute intellectually to a conversation for them to have value to me. The only time I'd have a problem with it is if she were smarter than me, and constantly rubbing it in my face, because in a relationship I'd feel like I had no value. I could handle a woman smarter than me, but not if she was a jerk about it. I'm not really old fashioned; I'd basically expect a woman to either be finishing her education or have a career.


----------



## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

JenN2791 said:


> GUYS:
> What are your thoughts on women being very educated? College-bound? College graduate? And so forth? Is intellectual attractive?


Couldn't care less. A woman's level of education doesn't factor into my attraction towards her.


----------



## Chris2012 (Sep 5, 2010)

Study showing that women may play dumb to attract men.


----------



## Elleire (Jul 24, 2011)

> Have you ever had an experience where a guy felt you were "too smart"?


I tend to have the opposite problem.


----------



## Candlelight (Jun 26, 2011)

I've never had a guy lose interest in me because I was too smart, but I've had several who fell for me because of my intelligence. Every guy who's ever had a big crush on me started developing feelings for me right after we got into an intellectual or philosophical conversation. I remember seeing a Dilbert comic where he was comforting a woman who was crying, "Why are guys only interested in my mind? Why can't I ever find a guy who likes me for my looks?" I laughed because I could actually relate. Honestly, though, a guy who is turned off by intelligence wouldn't be the right guy for me.


----------



## Odd Times (Jul 27, 2011)

mike285 said:


> Just because a girl doesn't like chem or bio doesn't make her less of an intellectual...
> 
> Back to the JenN2791, I actually prefer girls who are intelligent and ambitious as long as they are down to earth, but that's just me. I don't know if a relationship would work with someone who doesn't even want to go college. We'd be very different people and it probably wouldn't work out. I like a girl who wants to educated and has major goals in her life.


I should have elaborated better, I apologize. What I meant was, I NEVER hear any girls talk with passion about their interests or tell me their hopes and dreams. If they are a philosophy major, they never talk about what they have been reading or what they have discovered from their courses even when I ask or show genuine interest, etc. I meet very few girls who want to discuss intellectual pursuits or any school related interests.

Nope, instead most girls only talk about how many shots they consumed on a Saturday night.

I really like when I meet a girl who likes any intellectual pursuit, be it languages, music, arts, sciences, anything beyond the scope of going to parties and trying to only hook up with guys.


----------



## Chris2012 (Sep 5, 2010)

Odd Times said:


> I should have elaborated better, I apologize. What I meant was, I NEVER hear any girls talk with passion about their interests or tell me their hopes and dreams. If they are a philosophy major, they never talk about what they have been reading or what they have discovered from their courses even when I ask or show genuine interest, etc. I meet very few girls who want to discuss intellectual pursuits or any school related interests.
> 
> Nope, instead most girls only talk about how many shots they consumed on a Saturday night.
> 
> I really like when I meet a girl who likes any intellectual pursuit, be it languages, music, arts, sciences, anything beyond the scope of going to parties and trying to only hook up with guys.


Well yeah, that's because those "interesting" concepts are also school and work. Nobody wants to talk about school or work. Unless these girls research for the everyday fun of it, then they're probably more interested in talking about their personal lives - what they're doing this weekend, their friend's birthday, the upcoming concert, what she did that day, etc.

Who, in casual conversation, talks about quantum physics? Being a pharmacy student, the LAST thing I talk about with my friends is the interesting cost-effectiveness study of diabetes prophylaxis. ROFLMAO!!!


----------



## Odd Times (Jul 27, 2011)

Chris2012 said:


> Well yeah, that's because those "interesting" concepts are also school and work. Nobody wants to talk about school or work. Unless these girls research for the everyday fun of it, then they're probably more interested in talking about their personal lives - what they're doing this weekend, their friend's birthday, the upcoming concert, what she did that day, etc.
> 
> Who, in casual conversation, talks about quantum physics? Being a pharmacy student, the LAST thing I talk about with my friends is the interesting cost-effectiveness study of diabetes prophylaxis. ROFLMAO!!!


Then I guess I never have anything good to talk about. All the girls here only want to talk about how drunk they got, who they had sex with, which I CANNOT relate to at all because I'm not as fortunate. I just sit there saying "yeah" or "uh huh" or "oh definitely" or "that's a pain". I really can't stand when girls can only talk about things along those lines.


----------



## Chris2012 (Sep 5, 2010)

Odd Times said:


> Then I guess I never have anything good to talk about. All the girls here only want to talk about how drunk they got, who they had sex with, which I CANNOT relate to at all because I'm not as fortunate. I just sit there saying "yeah" or "uh huh" or "oh definitely" or "that's a pain". I really can't stand when girls can only talk about things along those lines.


Bullsh*t. You're over exaggerating. I have never had a one-on-one conversation with a girl where she talked about having sex with other men. I have talked with close friends about it, but they were never specific nor coming across as bragging.

You should be more interested in their personal lives. You have to give in order to receive. Do you give a sh*t about where she went out with her friends the other night? Hell no, but it's an opening for you to say, "Hey me and you should go there next time."

A lot of men are selfish. I'm selfish. I hate listening to a woman talk about herself. But that's kind of part of the job. And when she's talking, it's easier on you. If she's not saying much, then she's not interested in you.

*waiting for an experienced PUA to come into the room and tell me how it really is...* *sigh*


----------



## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

i don't know if i am intelligent, but i love intelligent discussion. i feel really alienated when everyone around me wants to only have casual conversation and talk about how drunk they were on tuesday or something along those lines. i feel like no one gets me because everyone is so afraid of bringing up topics of conversation that are controversial or more than one-dimensional. it makes me feel like people think i'm trying to be pretentious, but i just want to talk about something that matters to me instead of having painfully unstimulating small-talk that eats at my anxiety because it feels so inauthentic and performance based.


----------



## Misfits (Aug 28, 2011)

I prefer educated women. Intelligence is very attractive.


----------



## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

I'll take big brains over big boobs any day...


----------



## fatelogic (Jun 21, 2011)

smart females give good brain. lol... i could not hold it back.


----------



## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

I'd like to have a girlfriend that can carry on a conversation about politics, world events, science and technology...


----------



## applesauce5482 (Apr 26, 2012)

I love highly educated people and wouldn't mind a smart gal, but *I do not measure intelligence by a piece of paper saying that they graduated college*. To measure intelligence, I'd have to get to know them.


----------



## squidlette (Jan 9, 2012)

I'm college educated, but I seem to get along best with men who *aren't* college educated. I don't know why that is.


----------



## Rasputin_1 (Oct 27, 2008)

I want a girl who is intelligent, dont really care about a formal education though.


----------



## Whatev (Feb 6, 2012)

Intelligence is a huge turn on, don't see how it can be a bad thing unless the other person is insecure.


----------



## Invisigirl (Oct 11, 2011)

JenN2791 said:


> GIRLS:
> Have you ever had an experience where a guy felt you were "too smart"?


No, but then I have no experience to begin with.

The opposite tends to happen to me though. I get intimidated by guys who are really intelligent, because I feel like a hollow-headed idiot in comparison. My SA makes me sound dumber than I really am when I talk, so I probably give a less-than-favorable impression during conversations. It sucks when I'm attracted to a smart guy and I think he'll never want me because I'm too stupid.


----------



## Maninthebox84 (May 3, 2012)

I'm scared of them, especially the more confident ones. I also feel stupider because of SA. I have a college degree and am learning a 3rd language but I don't look or sound intelligent.


----------



## sean88 (Apr 29, 2006)

Well obviously it all comes down to an individuals preference. I'm not intimated by intelligent women, it actually turns me on a lot. But I would be intimated by someone who has pursued a higher level of education, simply because I have no desire to do that (I'm either gonna make it in art or die trying). I would feel like we're different people headed in different directions. I wouldn't mind if she was in college doing something artsy, getting a BA in painting/photography or something. But if she's like some science major I wouldn't be interested. lol


----------



## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

I'm really attracted to intellectual women. I myself would probably rest in a _slightly_ above average intelligence (not bragging, just saying I'm not smart) but I'm not intimidated by bright women. I usually get really frustrated dealing with women who aren't very intelligent.

The academic success however has very little to do with what I would classify as intelligent. I meet straight A students and college bound people who I find quite stupid actually lol. You can be educated but lack areas in intellect that require off campus growth and submersion.

I find women who worry a lot about an academic status and success to be a bit smug. I dropped out but I love learning. I also admire great minds but great students tend to think I must be inferior in mind do to my academic failures, and that is what I worry about.

Not that I've met a lot of perfect students but in my tiny experience I have experienced negative things when trying to interact with bright students. I'm aware that the ones I've interacted with don't represent the others OF COURSE and they lack an open mind and free thinking ability but I do worry about not having that respect from others.

I still do love me a smart and strong woman though =) Immaturity and dull brains turn me off.


----------



## huh (Mar 19, 2007)

JenN2791 said:


> GUYS:
> What are your thoughts on women being very educated? College-bound? College graduate? And so forth? Is intellectual attractive?


To me it really depends on the person. Someone can be highly educated and still hold some really stupid ideas, beliefs, and opinions that I find unattractive. I really blame that on an educational system that typically values telling people what to think over how to think. And a culture that tends to value all the wrong things. Someone can have very little formal education and still be quite mentally attractive to me.


----------



## GuyMontag (Dec 12, 2010)

I wouldn't mind if she had 4 year degree, or more for that matter. I find intellectual women attractive. As long as she didn't mind my only having a high school degree completed. (Plus my unfinished university schooling.)


----------



## PaysageDHiver (Jun 18, 2011)

For me, a humble intelligence may be the most attractive feature a person can have. So I love intelligent women, especially when it means a large vocabulary or the ability to write well.


----------



## Mirror (Mar 16, 2012)

I've dated people on all sides of the intelligence spectrum. I dated a not very school smart musician who had a hard time getting decent grades. It wasn't horrible, but for some reason I wanted him to at least be on my level. Then I dated a guy who was about at my level, a little smarter, and that didn't cause any problems (except that he turned out to be a d**chebag). My issue with both of them though was that they couldn't really keep up with me.

Now, I'm with a guy who's incredibly intelligent. It's weird, because I love and am impressed by the fact that he's smarter than me, but it's also the most frustrating thing in the world. He's good at everything I'm not (math and science) and it makes me feel like sh*t when we (he) talks about those things. I love the challenge of having someone who's sharp enough to get who I am, but it's infuriating because he can be a jack*ss about it.


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Being around someone intelligent might be more interesting but I'm a bit afraid of dating an intelligent man. I think they would be harder to control.


----------



## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

komorikun said:


> Being around someone intelligent might be more interesting but I'm a bit afraid of dating an intelligent man. I think they would be harder to control.


What do you mean control? You believe they will cheat?


----------



## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Dissonance said:


> What do you mean control? You believe they will cheat?


Not necessarily cheat but try to manipulate me to do what they want. The more intelligent you are the better you can do head trips or guilt trips on people. Spin things around to make everything the other person's fault. Maybe I just have a dim view of relationships....


----------



## Dissonance (Dec 27, 2011)

komorikun said:


> Not necessarily cheat but try to manipulate me to do what they want. The more intelligent you are the better you can do head trips or guilt trips on people. Spin things around to make everything the other person's fault. Maybe I just have a dim view of relationships....


Well it's a balance, at least from what I believe, honesty is good in some factors such as not cheating or being able to take your own blame. But sometimes you have to lie for the good of the person so they won't feel so much guilt being placed on their shoulders or have too much stress when you know they readily don't need it. It's a balance between being a honest person who must lie at times in order to avoid conflict that would otherwise bring nothing good.


----------



## squidd (Feb 10, 2012)

Intelligence is so frigging hot right up there with creative talent for me. Even better if a woman is A LOT smarter than me, something about the challenge of keeping up is fantastic.Unless they're pretentious about it.
I've gone out with people dumber than me. It gets boring FAST


----------



## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

it doesn't really make much difference to me. i prefer cultural differences, interesting taste in things, etc. which i guess might be affected by intelligence but also might not.


----------



## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

Invisigirl said:


> No, but then I have no experience to begin with.
> 
> The opposite tends to happen to me though. I get intimidated by guys who are really intelligent, because I feel like a hollow-headed idiot in comparison. My SA makes me sound dumber than I really am when I talk, so I probably give a less-than-favorable impression during conversations. It sucks when I'm attracted to a smart guy and I think he'll never want me because I'm too stupid.


Wow, I could have written this. It's the same for me on all counts.


----------

