# i hate my body so much - male with wide hips



## krizz (Jan 4, 2012)

Seriously I can't stand this anymore. For the last couple years, as pathetic as it sounds, my womanly hips, on top of all my other social problems, have caused me to be severely depressed. I'm a 19 year old male, 130 lbs, with 27" waist and 37" hips. There's no fat around my hips, it is all purely bone and it sticks out very clearly. my chest size is narrower than my pelvic bone, and is significantly smaller than my actual hips. i'm more "curvy" than most women..

No amount of working out will fix this problem, I look like a fricken freak show. The scariest part is that my hips still appear to be growing, I measured them at 34" 2 years ago and for some reason my upper body hasn't grown at all...

I hate going out because I look like a complete freak and look horrible with any clothes that I wear. I've always given up any time I've went to the gym because of my depression and I know I will look like a freak no matter what.

example of people with same condition as me below (warning)


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## ctlkn (May 12, 2014)

To be honest with you, removing your 'love handles' is really, really hard. I managed to drop 20kgs in 7-8 months and then spent two years in the gym building muscle to fill that loose skin and even though I look a lot better now my love handles are still present and annoy me. The only way to remove them is to go on some ridiculous diet and drop to 7-8% body fat but that is not very healthy if you have other things in your life such as work, study, socializing and so on. 

What I did is I put a lot of emphasis on training my back and I managed to make it wider than my hips so now when I am with a t-shirt I looked perfectly fine, it's only when I take it off that people can see them. So this is what I recommend you do. Start training back. Well, not only back of course, but focus on it. Start with assisted pull-ups, once they're easy move to regular pull-ups and after that, hopefully one day - weighted pull-ups. When I started I couldn't do a single pull-up, I was like a fish hanging and jerking around but with a lot of practice now I can easily do sets of 15-20 and also sometimes to weighted ones with a 10kgs weight strapped on a belt.

You are still 19, you have all the time in the world. Use it. When I was 19 I was in a worse condition than you.


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## TheBaroness (Apr 14, 2012)

too much female hormone produced? but you did say its not fat around your hips so maybe not that...do other males in your family have the same hips? maybe genetic? if so then not much you can do about it. I have heaps of genetic flaws and well just have to live with them...


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## CeilingStarer (Dec 29, 2009)

I have wide hips for a male too. When I was young... up to about 25, it was pretty pronounced. However, once my body filled out, it wasn't so noticeable anymore. Now I don't even think about it.


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## Vilanelle (Jul 22, 2013)

no girl (or guy) will quibble about your hips if they're in love with you.


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## Saral (May 14, 2014)

The older you get, the less you care about these things.


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## Justlittleme (Oct 21, 2013)

I don't think you're ugly, I wouldn't even judge you, in fact lots of us here wouldn't, even offline.

You have a nice body, it's exquisite  haha or shall we say unique. well I prefer unique, but hey whatever you want man. just don't quit living, life is to be embraced, despite any condition, and trust me I too am fighting.


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## krizz (Jan 4, 2012)

ctlkn said:


> To be honest with you, removing your 'love handles' is really, really hard. I managed to drop 20kgs in 7-8 months and then spent two years in the gym building muscle to fill that loose skin and even though I look a lot better now my love handles are still present and annoy me. The only way to remove them is to go on some ridiculous diet and drop to 7-8% body fat but that is not very healthy if you have other things in your life such as work, study, socializing and so on.
> 
> What I did is I put a lot of emphasis on training my back and I managed to make it wider than my hips so now when I am with a t-shirt I looked perfectly fine, it's only when I take it off that people can see them. So this is what I recommend you do. Start training back. Well, not only back of course, but focus on it. Start with assisted pull-ups, once they're easy move to regular pull-ups and after that, hopefully one day - weighted pull-ups. When I started I couldn't do a single pull-up, I was like a fish hanging and jerking around but with a lot of practice now I can easily do sets of 15-20 and also sometimes to weighted ones with a 10kgs weight strapped on a belt.
> 
> You are still 19, you have all the time in the world. Use it. When I was 19 I was in a worse condition than you.


The problem is that I don't have any "love handles". It is all 100% completely bone, I'm only 130 lbs. Yes I've tried going to the gym for years and eating more but my depression always stops me. I have absolutely no energy for anything at this point, no energy for eating, no energy for working out.



TheBaroness said:


> too much female hormone produced? but you did say its not fat around your hips so maybe not that...do other males in your family have the same hips? maybe genetic? if so then not much you can do about it. I have heaps of genetic flaws and well just have to live with them...


Yes I'm assuming it's too much female hormones produced. I don't want to live anymore though, this is just one problem out of a whole list that I have.



failoutboy said:


> Have you gone to the doctor and had your hormone levels tested?


I'm thinking of doing this and getting on steroids or some anti-estrogen pills - anything that will stop them from growing even more. I imagine that I have a ridiculously higher estrogen levels and much lower testosterone than the average male. It really pisses me off, I just woke up and my fricken hips are the first thing I've thought of. They've become an obsession at this point, I'm just angry that 99.9% of people don't have this problem yet I was the one that had to deal with this. When I was younger, I always knew I had social problems but I always thought at least I could get a good body. Nope, not anymore. If there was some type of "hip reducing" surgery I would do it even if there was a chance I would get paralyzed.


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## Mure (Mar 24, 2013)

Have you ever read anything about Klinefelter syndrome?


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Ask yourself this question: What would happen if you accepted yourself the way you are? What would happen if you stopped wishing you looked different, stopped complaining about your hips and just accepted it?

I'm not asking if you can or cannot accept it. I'm asking you what would happen if you did accept it fully?


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## Tensor (Mar 9, 2013)

Somewhere... there is a fetish for it.


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## worthy (May 12, 2014)

Nobody cares about your body shape except YOU. If someone rejects you because of it then they're not worth your attention and certainly not your affection. You're perfectly fine, leave it alone.


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## TheHippo (Sep 12, 2014)

Vilanelle said:


> no girl (or guy) will quibble about your hips if they're in love with you.


BULL****


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## TheHippo (Sep 12, 2014)

worthy said:


> Nobody cares about your body shape except YOU. If someone rejects you because of it then they're not worth your attention and certainly not your affection. You're perfectly fine, leave it alone.


Attempting to delude OP into happiness. Cute.


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## justacuteasian (Sep 8, 2014)

wow hmm i dunno, sounds pretty hot. 
but if its really affecting you, the only way is to just pump harder at the gym and do more bench presses or something.


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## TheHippo (Sep 12, 2014)

justacuteasian said:


> wow hmm i dunno, sounds pretty hot.
> but if its really affecting you, the only way is to just pump harder at the gym and do more bench presses or something.


.......Bench Presses do not drastically change your bones!!!!!!!


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## justacuteasian (Sep 8, 2014)

TheHippo said:


> .......Bench Presses do not drastically change your bones!!!!!!!


well hes 19, it should be possible. i did bench presses and it sort of did initiate some horizontal growth of the chest


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## jever (Jun 16, 2013)




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## Strategist (May 20, 2008)

krizz said:


> example of people with same condition as me below (warning)


Looks like the guy in the picture is wearing kinda tight pants, maybe wear something baggy.

Either way though, I've had some body image issues too I'm trying to work through. I've been paying attention whenever I see someone I think is kinda ugly and watching how people interact with them. I've noticed people do not seem to change the way they act when talking to an ugly person vs an attractive person. The only time I've noticed a change is when it's a reserved person vs outgoing. People prefer outgoing, which sucks for us. I've known some popular ugly people though. So if you think you see someone judging you negatively, know that it is far more likely due to your SA than your hips.


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## Ozymandias (Dec 8, 2013)

I actually have very narrow hips but I hate them. I feel like they make me look like a pencil. I would love to be a little bit "wider" in general so I'm kind of jealous of you in that sense. I think your problem might be there isn't enough muscle mass/fat on your upper body to balance out your naturally wide build. If you gain a lot of weight in your back and shoulders it could help.


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## BigBlueMoon (Feb 7, 2013)

krizz said:


> The problem is that I don't have any "love handles". It is all 100% completely bone, I'm only 130 lbs. Yes I've tried going to the gym for years and eating more but my depression always stops me. I have absolutely no energy for anything at this point, no energy for eating, no energy for working out.


You just can't let it get to you. You need to keep going because that is how you'll see results.


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## nothing else (Oct 27, 2013)

worthy said:


> Nobody cares about your body shape except YOU. If someone rejects you because of it then they're not worth your attention and certainly not your affection. You're perfectly fine, leave it alone.


I would like to think if I gained 500lbs my parents and siblings would care about it as well.


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## Socialanxiety11 (Oct 3, 2011)

hormonal imbalance?


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## Polak (Jul 28, 2015)

Hi I joined this forum specifically to reply to this post but I will also take part in other topics here. I know the topic is from last year but I have the same issue and just want to OP to know he is not the only one. Yes 1 in 1000 guys have this and you are one of those, as am I and others. It really sucks but we can't break down over it. Other people have rare diseases and/or genetic disorders. They also feel horrible. Some people have a disease that only a few hundred or thousand people in the world have. How do you think they feel? Even worse. They wonder, why me? Why couldn't I be normal? How about children who spend their entire life in hospital and die at a young age?

I think we need to just realize how lucky we are it isn't worse. Yeah sure it could be better, but I don't think girls would have a problem with it that much. Not decent girls anyway. If you want some stuck up barby then yeah, she might want a particular type of man and if she sees your hips she'll think 'uh, no,' but a lot of girls are not like that.


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## DarrellLicht (Mar 9, 2013)

It sounds like klinefelter syndrome. 

If/when the OP gets this, I say why not ask a doctor about going on testosterone therapy? there are transsexual men who wind up with quite a convincing male physique by undergoing this. And you'll find your mental state will change as well.


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## carven (Jun 19, 2012)

Holly **** Op. You have a legit complaint. Most people don't know what you are going through so they can't really offer you any sound advice. I would still suggest hitting the weights. Make you legs bigger so your hips don't look so out of proportion.


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## ybibs (Aug 2, 2015)

I have this problem too, and it has been a constant source of anguish for me. I hope krizz (the OP) is doing well.

Here is my stats:

height: 175 cm (5 ft eight)
weight: 58 kg (128lb)
waist: 29 inches
hips: 35 inches

Because I am living in a tropical country, and have to wear light clothing all the time, my womanly hips problem is more obvious than if I had more clothing to cover it up.

I have been to an endocrinologist, but because the T level is within the 'normal range', there is nothing the doctor wants to do for me (so HRT seems to be out of the question).

I notice that someone mentioned female to male transgendered gentlemen. I had actually been researching on that too. But it appears that some (many?) still have wide pelvic bones after HRT (but others did end up having quite masculine physiques!).

I don't think most people understand the amount of anguish this can cause. There are several aspects to this condition that makes our condition especially painful to endure:

1) _It is closely tied to a very important aspect of our self-perception - gender normality_. Let's face it - society is obsessed with sex and gender - what it means to be a man and a woman. Whether you agree with me or not, the standards for being a man are more exacting than those for being a woman - both physically and behaviorally. Physically, think about this question: if a man loses his penis, to what extent is he still considered a man? Now compare this to the analogous question: If a woman loses her vagina, to what extent is she still considered a woman? I think most would say that a vagina-less woman is more of a woman than a penis-less man is of a man. Behaviorally, men are expected to be masculine - think about it: "Sissy" is more of an insult than 'Tomboy".

For such reasons, men with wide hips would be (self) perceived much more negatively than a woman with narrow hips. I have heard female models complaining that they don't have typical hourglass figures, but I can't imagine any male models daring to mention them having an hourglass figure!

Because issues related to gender normality seriously affects our self-perception, and because (for some reason) society imposes stricter standards on men (in terms of gender normality), males with 'womanly hips' suffer this condition with a most acute sense of anguish and hopelessness.

2) _It's very rare. _When I first brought it up with my physician, she told me it was the first time she had heard about this problem. Also, whenever I am out, I would unconsciously check other men's waist and hips region (I know it sounds creepy!!), to try to find out whether someone else out there has wide hips too. So far, I have seen only 1, I think (and even that, I am not too sure).

3) _There does not seem to be much you can do about it_. Given the picture the OP posted, I think he already visited a forum called 'Masaireworld' - which is now inactive. There, people were discussing surgery options but concluded that the only solution - pelvic bone shaving would leave one severely restricted in terms of mobility and carries a high risk (you can split into halves - as one said; pretty scary). It is also doubtful that workout would have any effects as I heard that it is very difficult to develop muscles in the oblique area (waist).

However, recently I have been pondering an alternative. Since it is not possible to reduce pelvic bones, would it be possible to use implants (or some other methods such as fat grafting) to increase waist size? This will not completely solve the problem, but at least it will help reduce the curves, right? I read about a man who used implants on his shoulders and chest as 'fake muscles' (real life Ken doll - you can google him). So it seems to be that theoretically it would be possible to put implants in the waist region too. I posted this question in a plastic surgery forum a whole ago - but no surgeon responded to me ...

Alternatively, I was wondering if it is possible to custom-make some kind of 'waist support' - made of light weight material and of skin color that you can wear around the waist region - to make it appear bigger!. This will at least help with dressing problems ...

What do you guys think? Let's put our heads together and try to find out whether we can do anything about it ...


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## Myr (Jan 6, 2013)

I'm sure this doesn't help much, but to be honest my first thought with men who have wider hips/some features perceived as feminine is that they should go into LARPing or try Renn fairs, since that body type is very traditionally and acceptably associated with Barbarians, Picts, Goths, and Dacians. Most classical art depicting "exotic" Old World warrior men uses the wide hip figure to establish their distinction from Greco-Roman men (and not usually in a condescending way) and it's only in the modern era that you see this shifting dramatically. Even so, classic comics used that figure frequently for men in the 20th century.

Just, you know. A thought.


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## ljubo (Jul 26, 2015)

I hate my body too. Its skinny and i have many many flaws.


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## osamafarouk88 (Aug 11, 2015)

I want someone has a successful treatment of this case to follow him


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## normalsucksbutsodoesSA (Apr 2, 2015)

I don't know if OP will read this but this problem has hormone imbalance all over it (which is obvious of course). Question is, how do your body to look more masculine..

Unfortunately, besides expensive therapies the only alternative I can think of is working out and building mass in the areas to even out your ratios. Typically, the male who doesn't work out has a flat upper body (contrary to the V-shape that results when you develop your latissimus dorsi aka lats). This means that the chest and back, the hips, and the waist are all in similar proportion (maybe like 34, 34, 34 or close to that).

In your case, because you have much wider hips than your waist and chest, you're going to want to go for the hulk or bodybuilder physique. Even if you don't want this, it's more socially acceptable and masculine than your current physique which you probably want. You will want to eat a caloric surplus and gain equal proportions of mass and fat which will add inches to your waist and not many to your hips. At the same time, develop your chest and back with bodybuilding compound movements like bench pressing, deadlifting, chin or pull ups, and others (with emphasis on your back) to add inches to your upper body. If all goes well, you should see a slight increase to your hips but massive increase to your chest+back and waist which will balance out your proportions and make you look masculine.


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

normalsucksbutsodoesSA said:


> I don't know if OP will read this but this problem has hormone imbalance all over it (which is obvious of course). Question is, how do your body to look more masculine..


I agree with hormone imbalance which is of no fault to you at all and quite possibly inherited. Get your hormone levels tested ASAP. You will feel a great deal of relief just knowing _why_ and it will give you a solid foundation from there to conduct a plan of attack.

I understand not being comfortable in your own body and even not winning the genetic lottery. Please don't be hard on yourself. You certainly aren't alone in that (maybe rare in this condition but others suffer from various genetic disorders or hormone conditions). There are treatment options! Ie- hope, to get you comfortable in your body again because most of us deserve at least that. I wish you well and any updates on doctors would be grand


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## reaffected (Sep 3, 2011)

ybibs said:


> I have this problem too, and it has been a constant source of anguish for me. I hope krizz (the OP) is doing well.
> 
> Here is my stats:
> 
> ...


Your post is amazingly helpful and informative, thanks for sharing. I could see how the grafting could work or implants around the waist to reduce the curves. Then just naturally building some upper body to even it out. It seems plausible to me at least. My hips are larger than yours if it makes you feel any better and I'm just 5'3 and my waist is smaller. This is as a female though so still more masculine than I am. I think hips are 38" and waist is 26". Body shapes vary so much.


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## Idontgetit (Nov 1, 2013)

solution: squats to balance out.


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## ybibs (Aug 2, 2015)

Thanks. I was happy to share my thoughts and the details of my case. I do hope that the medical community can pay more attention to this problem. I am sure something can be done about it - there just is a lack of awareness and therefore a lack of will on the part of doctors.

Some people out there even accuse us of going after an 'idealistic male body image' (this is what my counselor said when I discussed it with her). But that is a misinformed opinion. We only want a waist/hips ratio that looks normal (straight line), not the V-shape body builder type.

Correcting an abnormality is not equivalent to achieving an ideal.



reaffected said:


> Your post is amazingly helpful and informative, thanks for sharing. I could see how the grafting could work or implants around the waist to reduce the curves. Then just naturally building some upper body to even it out. It seems plausible to me at least. My hips are larger than yours if it makes you feel any better and I'm just 5'3 and my waist is smaller. This is as a female though so still more masculine than I am. I think hips are 38" and waist is 26". Body shapes vary so much.


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## xxDark Horse (May 13, 2015)

Go see a doctor to see if there is an issue with your hormone levels and see if they can be fixed. Also get a testosterone level test to see if testosterone levels are an issue as well.


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## ShakiraShakira (Sep 19, 2015)




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## WideHips (Oct 12, 2015)

I would think that no, its is not a hormonal imbalance.

If you were high on eostrogen then you would be storing lots more fat, and developing breasts.

I have wide, high hips, narrow waist, but a big chest. Developing upper body does work somewhat to getting that 'aesthetic look' however its more a fact that your ribcage tapers in more at the bottom than most guys', rather than wide hips per se (can't see original image, going on my own shape as basis).

This is genetic, not hormonal. 

I joined the army real young and I was skinny as a bean pole and I remember getting measured up for my uniform by the quartermaster and he commented saying I have feminine hips and it made me self conscious. Trust me, the more weight you put on ie fat disguises it, as there is not much muscle that you can put on in your waist area. There is not much you can do, just embrace it mate. Put on some upper body muscle and fat and that may help.


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## stealth897 (Feb 27, 2017)

Hello ybibs .. This is a old thread but by far the most informative. So wanted to bounce it

I have the same problem
shoulders - slightly more wider (may be 1/2 an inch ) than hips
waist - 32 inches
hips - 40 inches
height - 6 feet

The curve actually starts below the waist line - so its not really woman like hips which where the curve usually starts just above the belly button
thank god for that but i do feel out of place when i take showers at the gym where all the dudes have straight legs while i have that super curves
so i think it really is more the hip protrusion than a wide pelvis - although i am not expert

i surely had some hormone imbalance at puberty which caused mild gyno 
probably it was enough of a window for my hips to grow bigger than they should -- who knows

all my hormones are good now , but whenever i look at my curvy hips and rounded bottom - it raises my cortisol levels.
did you do something about your problem? any response from a plastic surgeon about those implants ?

Did anybody hear about a more intensive surgery to shrink those hips ? Its a scary thing to consider but if someone tells me its a relatively safe surgery with good outcomes - perhaps something i could consider - although i woould imagine they would be extremely expensive?


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## ybibs (Aug 2, 2015)

Hi stealth897,
Thanks for resurrecting this thread! This issue definitely deserves more attention than it does. I already responded to you in private message. 
But for the benefit of visitors to this thread, I have not yet visited an orthopedist (bone doctor) about surgeries to shrink hips. If I have the time, I might schedule an appointment one of these days, although I am not too hopeful about what advice they might be able to give. 
Now, there are plastic surgeries in East Asia (e.g., Korea) that shave your jaw bones to make the facial contour more attractive. But it is nowhere near the magnitude of what we would need to do to the hip bones, to correct our problem. If I do visit an orthopedist (or plastic surgeon) about shrinking hip bones, I will update this thread. 
Another wild idea is to crowd-fund a scientific/medical project whose purpose is to find out if there are viable ways to correct/mitigate the problem of wide hips in men. Right now, it is patients like us who are trying to understand this problem, but we know too little, and have too few resources. We need something like a well-funded project to attract the attention of medical professionals or plastic surgeons. Right now, they do not care.


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Maybe try lifting weights and working out and exercising, it will make the rest of your body bigger. Also i've heard from some sources that exercising and weight training help with bone growth, which will balance your appearance much more, so maybe that could help you look the way you want to look. Basically working out just puts anyone in a much better shape. And dont give up so easily at the gym! It may be really hard to work out but you just have to push yourself no matter what. And dont be embarassed or nervous from other people at the gym about your insecurities or about your size/shape, because everyones gotta start from somewhere and you have a right to use a gym just like anyone else. Plus having wide hips for a male isnt exactly uncommon, and its probably because the rest of the body(arms, legs, torso, etc) isnt as developed, and you can easily work on that by doing weight training.


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## Gasper12 (Nov 28, 2016)

I have pectus excavatum and it annoys me


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## stealth897 (Feb 27, 2017)

sad1231234 said:


> Maybe try lifting weights and working out and exercising, it will make the rest of your body bigger. Also i've heard from some sources that exercising and weight training help with bone growth, which will balance your appearance much more, so maybe that could help you look the way you want to look. Basically working out just puts anyone in a much better shape. And dont give up so easily at the gym! It may be really hard to work out but you just have to push yourself no matter what. And dont be embarassed or nervous from other people at the gym about your insecurities or about your size/shape, because everyones gotta start from somewhere and you have a right to use a gym just like anyone else. Plus having wide hips for a male isnt exactly uncommon, and its probably because the rest of the body(arms, legs, torso, etc) isnt as developed, and you can easily work on that by doing weight training.


thanks sad1231234 - although what you say is agreeable, I am not keen on building a great body and pack on muscles etc for the ladies. I am just looking for symmetry so i can feel confident with myself. Sure if someone tells me what exercises to do to get such symmetry - i am all ears. Basically i think in my case building up oblique muscles is only the closest possible way to reduce this ratio - and even pros would say that obliques are amongst the hardest to develop (and more importantly to maintain them) ... i hope i come accross some more 'practical and doable' suggestions

Note i already hit the gym hard today and have a reasonable good torso .. its just the damn hips that tend to switch lanes


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## Gilbert29 (Apr 9, 2017)

We have the same problem dude....
I am 23 y old and my hips are 41". I really hate them!
Is there a surgery or anything relevant we can go through to reduce the size of the bones?


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## Syllid (Apr 22, 2017)

Just want to say, I saw a man with similar proportions recently, he was definitely overweight and I was gut flipping attracted to him. His eyes, although they were nothing special, did something to me. Wish I didn't have sa, would've asked him out 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cassoulet94 (Apr 3, 2014)

I also have wide hips. If you grow your torso/shoulders muscles it is less obvious.
Anyway some girls like it. One even said to me I looked sexy because I had curves. Sound weird but honneslty your confidence level is ten times more important than your hips.
I remember of this episode of HIMYM where barney meets the woman who took his virginity. At one moment she talks about a guy she ****ed, telling what a great fuc.k he was: 'he had women hips, but he knew how to use them !".

Don't assume because it's a little out of the norm noone will like it. And I know that easy to say but don t focus on it.


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## sad1231234 (Jul 10, 2016)

Try not to worry about it! Its not the end of the world, many people dont have a perfect body and having wide hips doesnt mean anything bad, its just the structure of your body. You cant really do much about it but just enjoy life, dont ruin your life over stupid crap that you cant change. Also, consider the possibility that you may be exaggerating the size of your hips, i've seen threads(either this one or another one, cant remember) where people worry about having "big" hips but in fact they look normal and they are just obsessing over thosr negativr thoughts too much or they have bodily dismorohic disorder.


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