# I went out to eat!



## Coniglio28 (Feb 23, 2014)

Probably my biggest cause of anxiety is eating in front of or around people but I'm trying my best to get past it. So when my mum asked if we wanted to go out to eat I agreed and it was particularly stressful because we went to a really busy shopping centre with my family and I'd been worrying about it all day.

We ended up deciding on going somewhere I'd never been before so I was even more nervous. I was sweating, my hands were shaking, my throat felt tight, I was playing with my hair and my sleeve and I felt really sick but I managed it and I even chose something difficult and potentially messy to eat. By the end of the meal I felt mostly comfortable and I'd calmed down a lot.

I know it might not sound like much but to me it has helped boost my confidence. However I still have stuff to work on as I left half of it and I only ate while none of the staff or other customers were watching. 

Is anyone else struggling with this kind of thing? If you are how do you cope with it? And has anyone noticed it?


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## Woodoow (Mar 20, 2013)

It's not so small of an achievement as you seem to think, most of the time it's really nerve-wracking to eat in public.
Personally, I don't really cope with it, there are good and bad days. Most of the time, people don't (or act as if) they don't care. The only thing is when I was in High School, they used to ask me why I was eating so little.


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## Coniglio28 (Feb 23, 2014)

Do you just avoid it all together or can you manage to eat a little on good days? I never eat in school it freaks me out too much! How did you react to them asking why you didn't eat much?


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## Woodoow (Mar 20, 2013)

I think you meant in bad days, no  ?
In bad days, well, during 11th grade and 1st part of 12th grade I used to skip lunch, buying something in stores if I could (although I had great chances of finding some of my classmates around there). 
Then when I got back to school restaurant, and couldn't manage to eat everything, I used to tell people I was just not hungry that day.
Now, as in student residency we have a collective kitchen, I try to avoid other people as much as I can ; I often eat at 7PM or 9h30PM.

On good days, still, I could and can manage to eat with little anxiety.


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## Coniglio28 (Feb 23, 2014)

Oh I see  How did you work up your confidence to eat in front of people? Did you just keep forcing yourself to do it until it felt less scary?


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## Andiekv (Feb 25, 2014)

Hey, congratulations! That is some great progress you did there! I realise it has been hard, but as you saw,it wasn't so difficult after all and you did it  i think maybe you should try it again sometime,slowly but surely. And i am sure the anxiety will decrease with time..baby steps


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## Farideh (Nov 13, 2011)

I suddenly found out that the best way to check if you're anxious is to feel your hands. Are they cold and sweaty?? Then yes. Anyway, I do understand about the whole being anxious when eating in front of people. Women assumed I had an eating disorder when I was eating a salad and I overheard a woman call me fat when I was eating a pizza. People are morons.


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## Woodoow (Mar 20, 2013)

Coniglio28 said:


> Oh I see  How did you work up your confidence to eat in front of people? Did you just keep forcing yourself to do it until it felt less scary?


I didn't really work up my confidence, seeing the same people all the time at HS helped me to chill out a bit.
But I didn't even know I had SA and that it could be cured 'till last year, so at least you have that going for you.
Really, keep going on this way, you're bound to recover


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## BusWithSquareWheels (Aug 10, 2012)

Coniglio28 said:


> Probably my biggest cause of anxiety is eating in front of or around people but I'm trying my best to get past it. So when my mum asked if we wanted to go out to eat I agreed and it was particularly stressful because we went to a really busy shopping centre with my family and I'd been worrying about it all day.
> 
> We ended up deciding on going somewhere I'd never been before so I was even more nervous. I was sweating, my hands were shaking, my throat felt tight, I was playing with my hair and my sleeve and I felt really sick but I managed it and I even chose something difficult and potentially messy to eat. By the end of the meal I felt mostly comfortable and I'd calmed down a lot.
> 
> ...


Fantastic!  Well done! I also have a fear of eating which is tied into my generalised anxiety which triggers nerves, and phobia of choking in front of people. It can be so hard. I also know what you mean when you say you left half of it and felt like you could only eat when there was no potential focus on you. You got out there and did it, I'm sure you can practice more


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