# Support Group Phobia; Is There Anyway to Overcome?



## cicada (Aug 25, 2005)

To those of you who have wanted to attend a social anxiety support group, but were too afraid to actually go to a meeting, what do you think it would take to overcome your fear and actually start going to meetings? Serious responses only, please! I want to get some ideas of how I can make it easier for people that want to attend a support group meeting, but can't seem to overcome their fear. To those of you who were terrified about attending a support group meeting and eventually went, how did you get yourself to go, and how did your experience live up to your expectations? What advice would you give to someone who wanted to go to meetings but was too afraid?

Would it help you to get to know fellow group members online first? Would you prefer to meet out in a public place like a park so you could see the group from a distance first, or would you prefer to meet in a more private place like a meeting room at a library? What size of group would you prefer? Please let me know your ideas on how to help very socially anxious people be able to attend support group meetings. I am thinking about forming a Meetup group and I want to increase the chances that people will actually show up. There are about forty people that are signed up to be notified if someone starts a shyness and social phobia meetup group in my area. Thanks for your ideas and advice!


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## CarlM (Mar 24, 2007)

Hi !!

My advice is to let people come with no strings attached. Tell them that if they just wanna sit in the back and not participate at all, thats okay! Tell them that no one will pressure them to do something they don't want to do. Most importantly is to stress the fact that the other people there are experiencing the same, if not more severe, anxiety.

For me, I went to a social anxiety support group/exposure group thinking that "hey im just gonna sit and watch what happens" but when I got there and it started, I decided to participate in all of the activities. Thats the thing about social anxiety, the anxiety is always worse just before, so chances are that when people actually work up the nerve to attend a group meeting, they'll be like "This wasnt so bad" and are going to want to do more.

Good luck!


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## philm (Oct 14, 2004)

The key to helping people to overcoming social fears in order to join a support group is twofold: 

First, it is key to take the pressure completely off. If there are no required actions within the group, this has the effect of greatly lowering performance anxiety for both regular members and newcomers. 

The idea is that each person goes at their own pace and with no pressure from anyone else. No one shares if they don't want to etc... 

Paradoxially, the other side of the coin is to foster a service-oriented culture within the group (without pressure). 

Service to others (even in small ways, like supportive listening and giving encouragement to others) has the effect of breaking the self-obsession which is the overall mental-pattern with social anxiety. 

So having a group culture that suggests (rather than requiring) one social anxiety sufferer helping another as a part of the group culture will have the effect of simultaneously building the group and moving members at their own pace-- and yet more quickly on average, due to the social anxiety-healing nature of service-- beyond initial social paralysis and avoidance. 

(Quoted with permission from "Social Phobics Anonymous" literature)


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