# Friendship is an illusion



## thatruth

I feel like true friends don't exist. From what I have seen, "friendship" is more akin to a business transaction, where people invest their time and energy for something in return; such as social status, dating prospects, connections or simply something to pass the time. Apparently, people form "friendships" with those who have similar hobbies or life situation, but to me that simply reads as similar social status. Would a billionaire come on this forum, or hit the bars looking for friends? Probably not.


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## thatruth

For example, I have had "friendships" in the past with others, both male and female. Once however, they got partners I was dropped like a hot potato. The dynamic was altered. Our social status has changed (not necessarily for the better because they are broke chumps who had kids too early).


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## MrsRobinson

Yep, I just realized that's what it all boils down to. But I can't really complain, seeing as I largely feel like if someone isn't of use to me, then they have no purpose in my life.


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## Glycerin

yeah.


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## Erroll

@thatruth

So friendship is not an illusion. It is a social transaction. You never get something for nothing. Try to be loved or experience loyalty, without giving the same or similar in return, and see how long you enjoy the fruits of such a relationship. Clue; not long 

So do you want a friendship or have you given up?


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## the misanthrope

thatruth said:


> I feel like true friends don't exist. From what I have seen, "friendship" is more akin to a business transaction, where people invest their time and energy for something in return; such as social status, dating prospects, connections or simply something to pass the time. Apparently, people form "friendships" with those who have similar hobbies or life situation, but to me that simply reads as similar social status. Would a billionaire come on this forum, or hit the bars looking for friends? Probably not.


You have a point, that is the nature of relationships in a capitalist society. A persons entire worth is judged by what qualities that are marketable to society, our lives are reduced to that, kindness, quality of person none of that maters unless some one can make a profit from it.


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## DocHalladay

It goes both ways, they are there for your benefit as well and if they ceased to be a benefit you would drop them. Some people make so many friends so easily that this isn't a concern or a problem for them, for people like us (SA), it sucks.


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## ShadowOnTheWallAlt

Some friends are worthless in the long run, but savor and nurture the good ones or you'll regret it.

Though you can always make more


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## M0rbid

its to climb the social ladder.


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## ysn

thatruth said:


> I feel like true friends don't exist. From what I have seen, "friendship" is more akin to a business transaction, where people invest their time and energy for something in return; such as social status, dating prospects, connections or simply something to pass the time. Apparently, people form "friendships" with those who have similar hobbies or life situation, but to me that simply reads as similar social status. Would a billionaire come on this forum, or hit the bars looking for friends? Probably not.


What is your definition of a 'true friend'?


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## funnynihilist

It's very hard to make and keep a friend. People are so flakey. You can think everything is fine one day and the next day, poof, they gone.


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## passtheball

In most cases it is an illusion. I used to believe in true friendship. In fact, I had one friend and we've been extremely close for 12 years. I've been thanking 'god' every single day for such an amazing person. Then one day she just.. left me. Happened 5 years ago and I still have tears in my eyes every freakin time I think about it. I know I'm never gonna find a friend again. I barely even talk to people. But I still believe there are people like me out there, who will do anything for their friends. Not as a favor or in return, but because they care.


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## causalset

thatruth said:


> I feel like true friends don't exist. From what I have seen, "friendship" is more akin to a business transaction, where people invest their time and energy for something in return; such as social status, dating prospects, connections or simply something to pass the time. Apparently, people form "friendships" with those who have similar hobbies or life situation, but to me that simply reads as similar social status. Would a billionaire come on this forum, or hit the bars looking for friends? Probably not.


Good point. And this brings me back to the question as to why girls say they reject nice guys since nice guys are "using" them? Well everyone else is "using them" just the same. Is it because nice guys are not as good at hiding it (well they do "try" to hide it by being nice, but perhaps they are easier to read)? Or is it because girls don't dislike "users" they dislike "losers" and the notion of "user" is just the tool to blackmail the "loser" with?


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## aaaa1111bbbb2222cccc3333

Meaningful relationships are probably an exception, when they exist at all. Any kind of relationships, friendships or otherwise. Being a social retard or a loner reduces the chances further of course.


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## BoxJellyfish

It is very difficult to maintain friendships. Especially when you are young and growing in different directions. I think people stop talking once they have talked about everything or just want something new. Some friendships have ended simply because after realising that I was the only one putting in the effort, I pulled the plug. I have trouble making friends, other people seem to know how to magically do it.


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## Jadewolf

Some are fake. Be wary of those particular people looking forfriends just to use them for money, drugs, status, borrowing things, even so they could meet a person through another. Real friends are tough, but also real friends are people you don't notice are there, such as forums like this.


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## lennierosin

Why is having true friends who like you unimportant, but having the social world like you is? I'm referencing the status part.


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