# Why are you not in a relationship?



## G girl

What are some of the reasons you are not in a relationship right this moment?


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## Ape in space

I'm a pathetic loser and no woman would want me.


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## lonelyjew

I am in a relationship, but when I wasn't, it was because I was too scared to make a move. In high school I remember telling myself "oh, you can't get a GF without a car, when you have a car then you can ask girls out." Got a car and then thought "well, I have a car, but no job. How can I have a girlfriend if I can't take her out. I'll get a job, then I'll ask girls out." Got a job and then had to face the fact that I was too scared to make a move. In college this followed, for a long time. I knew girls that clearly had a thing for me, I could even charm them socially sometimes making them like me even more, but when it came time to act, I couldn't.

Heck, with my current GF, I wasn't able to make the final move, kissing her, and had to reason with her in the end, to convince her that she should date me, and only then I terrifyingly gave her an awkward kiss. She flat out told me later how unattractive that display was, and how I could have just made a move, because she wanted me to do so. Thankfully I'm good at arguing 



Ape in space said:


> I'm a pathetic loser and no woman would want me.


Ah, see, that's the heart of the issue right there. Self esteem, confidence, that's what I lacked, and what you lack as well. I see good looking girls who date real life pathetic losers, who are bad people to boot. Why? Because those losers have confidence.


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## lanzman

because relationships with most people are just too much work and mentally exhausting. and the fact I don't have the confidence to pursue the ones I'm interested in.


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## RUFB2327

I just don't think I'm relationship material. I would like to be in one, but I really don't think any women would be interested enough in me.


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## nkprasad12

Ape in space said:


> I'm a pathetic loser and no woman would want me.


Chin up man 
I feel the same way sometimes (most of the time?) but it's the wrong way to go about it.


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## Syndacus

Can't dedicate the time now because of work to spend it with a girlfriend. Right now I just flirt with women when I go out and just keep myself in the 'game' of dating.


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## Ashley1990

i dnt want to n i didnt find anybody so impressive!!


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## Dane

Because I haven't met the magic "right" woman, and I'm complacently single so I don't really try.


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## helena

I've been madly in love with one person for years and no one comes close to him.


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## Miss Bee

In high school, I liked the shy boys with no experience. In college, I like what I like and I guess they don't like me. I suppose I've either hid it too well or been far too obvious. I come to wonder why, though. Why is it never me they pick? Am doing something wrong, or is it truly that hard to find someone who will like me as I like them?


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## matty

Because I have spent the last 3 or 4 years lacking confidence, dealing with issues, being overweight. 

Now, I am finding myself interested in women, but they are the wrong type, either due to bfs or religion. But I am feeling more confident that I can attract someone and start a relationship. I have already been forming friendships which is half the battle for me. Next year, it is on.


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## millenniumman75

Heh, too busy. I have a good car ('06 Mustang), a good job (I'm a techie, ladeeez), and I am not one of them losahs. I just want to focus on myself more right now anyway - there are areas I need to improve.

Like Matty, 2012 may be a big year - I just don't know it yet.
I have made HUGE strides in 2011.


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## helena

fear of failure, a soul mate is for life not christmas.


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## BobtheBest

matty said:


> Because I have spent the last 3 or 4 years lacking confidence, dealing with issues, being overweight.
> 
> Now, I am finding myself interested in women, but they are the wrong type, either due to bfs or religion. But I am feeling more confident that I can attract someone and start a relationship. I have already been forming friendships which is half the battle for me. Next year, it is on.


Same here, Matty. Recovering from years of misery, getting a relationship is something I'm looking for to in the new year. As I regain the courage to ask out a girl, I still worry since a lot of them are either taken or not interested.


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## VivaEmptinessRoses

Because guys don't find me attractive, so Im automatically friend zoned. I think if i was really skinny and pretty, and more confident i might have a chance.


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## PaysageDHiver

1. For the past 4 years or so I've been unattractive weight/body-wise without realizing it. During my late teens and early 20's I was obsessed with getting bigger and stronger, and this really messed up my idea of what an attractive, healthy male body looks like, and kept me big, strong and bloated. This, in turn, kept the girls away. (Now that I'm done with being a fat strong guy, I'm dropping weight pretty fast. Being heavier made my face look bloated, and it's looking much better as I thin out, along with the rest of me.)

2. I can't imagine liking anyone enough to spend as much time with them as is typical in a relationship. I can take the company of my best friends for only a little while, before I need time alone. I just really enjoy being alone. The best part of my day is eating my dinner alone, while watching a DVD on my laptop.

3. I'm kind of dumb when it comes to "everyday" things. I don't understand very well the way the "real world" works. Very simple, allegedly straightforward things: bank transactions, navigating while driving, etc. I'm naive and awkward with respect to these things. People look at me like I have three heads after I ask some of the questions I ask or react to certain things in the ways I do. This is all profoundly unattactive to females. They want a guy who knows how "things" "work". I'm a graduate student in a highly abstract field, and it's not the type of knowledge that most females care much about. 

4. I rarely approach (because of 2 and 3 above, and the usual fear of rejection). For me, being resigned to being alone is better (psychologically) than the ups-and-downs that come with taking the risk. I did go through a spell recently where I was actually fairly proactive on the female front, but I'm so over it now.


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## G girl

helena said:


> I've been madly in love with one person for years and no one comes close to him.


WOW damn!! He must be a luck man.


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## tbyrfan

because no guy wants to date an ugly girl.


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## meganmila

Cause I don't want one :/


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## Miss Bee

tbyrfan said:


> because no guy wants to date an ugly girl.


What you should be saying is that you have self-esteem issues and you don't seem to even give yourself a chance. If you have low self-confidence and an anxiety that cripples your getting to know other people, then I doubt you are flirting with intent much in order to put yourself out there?


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## tbyrfan

Miss Bee said:


> What you should be saying is that you have self-esteem issues and you don't seem to even give yourself a chance. If you have low self-confidence and an anxiety that cripples your getting to know other people, then I doubt you are flirting with intent much in order to put yourself out there?


I used to put myself out there and got continuously rejected, laughed at and called ugly to my face, so I have since given up.


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## meganmila

tbyrfan said:


> I used to put myself out there and got continuously rejected, laughed at and called ugly to my face, so I have since given up.


Those people are completely strange to be saying that. I would like to have a word with them.


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## helena

G girl said:


> WOW damn!! He must be a luck man.


I was just thinking aloud... nvm.


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## rdrr

To be in a relationship, you have to have someone who wants you. It cant be forced. If you are not considered attractive, desirable, by someone, despite showing interest, there is not much else you can do. The thing is, do I deserve to be in one? Am I good enough? I believe I am, but past experiences tell me different. It's something thats been missing from my life for awhile. I mean, a healthy romantic relationship is the only thing left I need to experience and have. I can wax poetic about subjective negative traits, but I truly know they arent the reason for my lonlieness.


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## tbyrfan

meganmila said:


> Those people are completely strange to be saying that. I would like to have a word with them.


If numerous different people are doing/saying these things, they obviously have a point though.


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## northstar1991

The thought of it makes me nervous and I have trouble putting myself out there. I need to gain more confidence in myself.


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## eppe

no confidence, fear of rejection and might still be infatuated with the previous one i dated.


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## Elleire

I'm a foolish, confused, neurotic, and ridiculous girlthing - not in the endearing or romantic way, either, if there even is one. :roll

I'm more trouble than I'm worth, simply. Knowing this, it'd be psychologically and maybe morally irresponsible and unfair to [attempt to] bring someone else into my world of sh*t just because I'm lonely. But it's never that altruistic, right? Right. I couldn't deal with the guilt.

And that's all assuming there is anyone who'd even want to know me in the first place. Unlikely.


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## Freiheit

I don't have the patience to deal with people and their wants/needs/expectations. I can barely satisfy my own.


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## meganmila

I have to look out for myself I don't want to have to worry about someone elses needs.

I guess if that made sense.


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## G girl

Freiheit said:


> I don't have the patience to deal with people and their wants/needs/expectations. I can barely satisfy my own.


I luv this answer.


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## CourtneyB

There are a few reasons right now, but the main reason is because I am _extremely_ picky and have high standards. No one I've come across and/or gotten to know in real life has been up to those standards so far...and I refuse to settle.

Funny, this graphic basically says it for me :b


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## Destiny Love 86

*Why I'm not in a relationship*

I don't feel I'm ready to be in a dating type relationship but confused because I really like somebody who is interested in me. I'm afraid of being hurt again. That's how all of my relationships have been. When is the right time to start dating after all I have been through? And how do u know u r ready?


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## keyla965

Im not really looking

I need ALOT of space, almost too much

Im too pessamistic 

Im way too self conscious


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## Some Russian Guy

G girl said:


> What are some of the reasons you are not in a relationship right this moment?


Why are you asking ?


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## Miss Bee

tbyrfan said:


> If numerous different people are doing/saying these things, they obviously have a point though.


One must consider your approach and your target. They were too unkind apparently anyway, so not someone to pursue. I'm sorry that you did put yourself out there in the past only to get hurt. Beauty and ugliness are just opinions, though. We must just keep looking and improving upon ourselves until we find the person who does think we are beautiful.


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## bsd3355

When I'm not motivated:

I'm picky. I possibly think I'm better looking then I really am. I lack the motivation at the moment. I would rather sit at home and play video games and workout then be "social" and meet people.

When I am motivated:

I'm picky. I possibly think I'm better looking then I really am. I try insane and impersonal tactics like approach random women at bars or message tons of women online of whom I don't know. I sometimes can't gather the courage even though I've done it lots of times. Failure rate _seems_ significantly larger than I would like to admit and I get frustrated.

Good things I have on my side:
Self-belief in myself

Bad things I have on my side:
Physically disillusioned of myself (don't know my "level"); I take it personally and have a tendency to become bitter after a while


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## bsd3355

tbyrfan said:


> because no guy wants to date an ugly girl.


if that is you in that avatar picture your definitely not physically ugly


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## River In The Mountain

I'm incapable of maintaining any relationship of any kind.


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## rdrr

tbyrfan said:


> If numerous different people are doing/saying these things, they obviously have a point though.


You can also say the same thing about people on this board who refute your claim of being "ugly".


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## Keith

I'm waiting for my confidence to come back


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## Help please

Too shy/not enough interest from both sides. If I do like someone it is always one way


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## _AJ_

before I met my gf, it was cause sa limited the meeting of chicks


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## StayingMotivated

I'm not in a relationship because I haven't put myself "out there" and I feel like I need to work on myself first.


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## Ckg2011

28yr old virgin
I live with my parents
I can not talk to girls 
I am a loser


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## Nyx

Many reasons but a few are:
I'm boring and lack a personality. 
Meeting strangers freaks me out (duh), so dating rarely happens. 
I'm lazy and don't really want to deal with the work that would go into a relationship.


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## bitoqueen

My looks and shyness

because I have been able to attract a lot of guys when ppl don't see me and its just my personality (online)-_-...I know my perosnality is good but, my looks ..*sigh*


and men usually fall in love with what they see. 

so
that 
basically
elimnates
my
chances
hundred fold


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## estse

Nyx said:


> Many reasons but a few are:
> I'm boring and lack a personality.
> Meeting strangers freaks me out (duh), so dating rarely happens.
> I'm lazy and don't really want to deal with the work that would go into a relationship.


You may be lazy and socially terrified, but you're not boring and do have a personality. Maybe it just doesn't manifest in real life.

Well, somebody once told me the same thing, and I didn't believe them either.


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## Class

Haven't met anyone I liked that way.
Reiterate: Haven't met anyone.
Too shy/introverted/homebody/socially anxious.

My mom tells me that guys would be attracted to my personality. :b

Dunno about my attractiveness in terms of looks.

Also, I want the guy to be my best friend before being anything else...


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## GenoWhirl

Very low self-esteem, the overall anxiety it would bring would be awful to attempt, home body hermit, basically have "no life", no confidence. I lack any traits to be socially successful and that is the main reason that even though I long for this to happen to me one day the chances will always be very slim. Due to my own personal issues, fears, and self perception and of no fault of anyone else.


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## ZeroX4

-Low self-esteem
-Not approaching women

I'm sick of not having what it takes to be in a relationship. If I can get to a point where I'll have no regrets and be ready to make huge changes no matter what, I feel like things can get much better in this area. At the end of the day, I know I'm making this much harder on myself than I should.


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## leave me alone

It wouldnt be fair to the person i am in relationship with.


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## ImWeird

I have commitment issues... Might as well continue testing the waters?


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## Blawnka

The people I hang out with are all ridiculously social..Why would a girl pick me if she can pick one of my friends that talk a lot, and are good at it.
- I have a lack of confidence
- There really aren't a whole lot of choices were I live, maybe 5 tops.
- I have very low self esteem, not sure girls like that.
- Way too nervous to ask a girl out, they confuse me, I can't tell when they'
re interested.

There is really too many reasons to list, I'm just too...Different.


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## anotherusername

I'm afraid to ruin a friendship, and I can hardly think of relationship with a girl I'm not friends with (i.e. someone I know and easily relate to).

And a dozen of other reasons to come up with (in case the first one wasn't an obstacle enough), from low self esteem and overly analyzing the whole thing ("she's so busy right now, how can you think of bothering her?") to stuff like "I don't have much to commit, and who am I to think of a relationship if I can't support it like a man" or even "dude, you're not looking good enough today". Perhaps (100% guaranteed, probably) that's ridiculous.

The only thing I'm not worried about is how to actually ask someone out once you decided you should really do that (what's to worry about if it's the right thing to do, and with good consequences?), but as you might have guessed, I've never got to that part.


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## PickleNose

G girl said:


> What are some of the reasons you are not in a relationship right this moment?


1. Because frankly, I don't want to be.

2. Frankly, no one would have me. No one wants an unemployed ugly dude in his late 30s who can't drive and doesn't do anything but sit around and surf the web all day every day. At the absolute minimum, I think, women expect a guy who is unemployed to have plans to change that. To have some ambition for something more. To want to. And I just plain don't.

3. Frankly, even if someone was willing to overlook every one of my flaws, it wouldn't be fair to them because I'm useless and they would have to do everything. I wouldn't be entirely against that but TBH, I feel enough like a parasite doing it to my parents (who are entirely to blame for my existence). It would just seem wrong to do it to some girl who (for whatever reason) takes a shine to me. What would be in it for them?


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## CityLights89

answer to others: busy
answer to myself: scared
besides, it's not like anyone is knocking down the doors around here.


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## Nefury

They keep escaping from my dungeon


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## loquaciousintrovert

Because nobody I want wants me.


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## Hello22

Tbh it p1sses me off when someone asks me this - i mean, does being single mean you're a loser? Nope. 

Why is there such a stigma about being single? It can often mean your independant or just havent met someone that you like romantically. 

I'm not being big headed, but i do get hit on a fair bit, but i dont attract the guys that i would consider being a future boyfriend.

Give me being single anyday over being in a relationship that isnt going anywhere.


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## RyanAdams

tbyrfan said:


> I used to put myself out there and got continuously rejected, laughed at and called ugly to my face, so I have since given up.


People called you ugly?!?! If that's really you in your avatar, then those people have serious vision problems, or possibly some kind of psychosis. Not trying to be creepy or anything. I can understand people saying you might not be their type; but again if that's you in that pic, then I really am flabbergasted at someone saying you're ugly. And now, I kind of don't feel that bad when I got called ugly.

Oh, and to answer the question: I can't seem to prove that I'm good enough.


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## Lasair

Not met ne one, don't get out enough


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## TheCynicalEye

tbyrfan said:


> because no guy wants to date an ugly girl.


If you're ugly, then I'm a Chinese astronaut.


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## dist0rt

I'm not in a relationship at the moment, because I just dont want the hassle and I really want to get my life in order before I bring someone else into it. More the latter.


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## Peter Attis

I don't really see the point at this stage of my life.

I feel like, at this point, I should spend more time bettering myself, and focusing on ME before I start a relationship, which involves a lot of giving to another person.


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## Ricebunnyx3

Cause I'm an ugly fat loser w/ no social skills.


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## g0t Anxiety

Sadly I tend to get extremely nervous around the opposite sex, tends to make things... feel less natural and more forced if that makes any sense.


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## meganmila

RyanAdams said:


> People called you ugly?!?! If that's really you in your avatar, then those people have serious vision problems, or possibly some kind of psychosis. Not trying to be creepy or anything. I can understand people saying you might not be their type; but again if that's you in that pic, then I really am flabbergasted at someone saying you're ugly. And now, I kind of don't feel that bad when I got called ugly.
> 
> Oh, and to answer the question: I can't seem to prove that I'm good enough.


I agree. :/ I'm shocked.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin

AlreadyOver said:


> I think that the main reason is my appearance. I have horrible acne and my body look a like 12-years old girl's body; I'm very short, skinny and no breasts.
> 
> Another reason is that I don't have any friends, it makes everyone to think that I'm some kind of freak. I'm just not so sociable..
> 
> My personality is not that what guys usually wants. I'm not smiling, happy, funny, positive and so on, I'm really quiet, shy, sad, humorless and get offended very easily.
> 
> I might also be a little bit picky. Guy's appearance does not matter much, but the personality does. I'm looking for guy who is pretty similar like me, lonely, depressed and socially awkward.
> 
> Anyway, I'm not sure do I even want to be in a relationship right now..


Be careful what you post on the internet, there's a lot of predatory people out there. Talk to your doctor and get refered to a local mental health team. There's no shame in doing this (I've done it and it's helped me more than anything) they will be much more fit to help you through any of your issues than a bunch of unqualified, uncertified people with social anxiety and various mental health problems.

No offence, you jerks! : b


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## Doctorius

Guys and girls remember you can change how you look. Well, you can not change your facial bone structure or the colour of your eyes, except well your hairstyle. Your body is like raw marble and you can give it form. Remember that. Hard workout gives results and your bodytype limits you about 10% only. A pretty face is nice but most of the times subjective. A hot tight body is objective. Everyone loves a girl with a nice *** and everyone loves a guy with some muscle definition. It may be a tough and lengthy journey to fitness but it gives results, boosts your confidence, relieves the stress and gives you a healthy nice body. So instead of complaining about how ugly you look, work to improve yourselves and know that looks isnt everything. When you see a fit guy/girl, you know the hard work he put in it. When you see a guy/girl with a pretty face, you know he/she was just lucky.


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## offbyone

AlreadyOver said:


> I think that the main reason is my appearance. I have horrible acne and my body look a like 12-years old girl's body; I'm very short, skinny and no breasts.
> 
> Another reason is that I don't have any friends, it makes everyone to think that I'm some kind of freak. I'm just not so sociable..
> 
> My personality is not that what guys usually wants. I'm not smiling, happy, funny, positive and so on, I'm really quiet, shy, sad, humorless and get offended very easily.
> 
> I might also be a little bit picky. Guy's appearance does not matter much, but the personality does. I'm looking for guy who is pretty similar like me, lonely, depressed and socially awkward.
> 
> Anyway, I'm not sure do I even want to be in a relationship right now..





JimmyDeansRetartedCousin said:


> Be careful what you post on the internet, there's a lot of predatory people out there. Talk to your doctor and get refered to a local mental health team. There's no shame in doing this (I've done it and it's helped me more than anything) they will be much more fit to help you through any of your issues than a bunch of unqualified, uncertified people with social anxiety and various mental health problems.
> 
> No offence, you jerks! : b


Jimmy's advice is great. I want to add in that you are still really young! You should focus on becoming the person you want to be before you worry about committed relationships. Don't feel bad because you aren't in one at 16.

I can really relate because I was a depressed, socially awkward and lonely lump at 16 and really didn't start trying until a long time later and I really regret it. Your age is a really good time to get a hold of your issues, if you have the resources.


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## nameless56

i got bills to pay lol jk well i do but right now im trying to get back on my feet again and work on improving myself i want to be able to be comfortable with myself first i dont want to depend on somebody else for happiness


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## VagueResemblance

Because I don't know how to talk to people anymore, male or female.
Because I have nothing to offer anyone but neuroses.
Because I am too afraid to look for one.


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## CourtneyB

AlreadyOver said:


> I'm very short, skinny and no breasts.
> 
> Another reason is that I don't have any friends, it makes everyone to think that I'm some kind of freak. I'm just not so sociable...


+1 :yes


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## CourtneyB

tbyrfan said:


> because no guy wants to date an ugly girl.


If you're ugly, then there's no hope for me or anyone else on this board...which, by the way, is complete untrue and insane anyone would truly think such a thing.


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## shypeter

I really want to find a nice girl but I feel like I would screw it up.


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## tbyrfan

RyanAdams said:


> People called you ugly?!?! If that's really you in your avatar, then those people have serious vision problems, or possibly some kind of psychosis. Not trying to be creepy or anything. I can understand people saying you might not be their type; but again if that's you in that pic, then I really am flabbergasted at someone saying you're ugly. And now, I kind of don't feel that bad when I got called ugly.
> 
> Oh, and to answer the question: I can't seem to prove that I'm good enough.


That's me in the avatar. I really don't see how they have any problems...if one or two people said it, then maybe it wouldn't be true, but because LOTS of people have said it, they sound pretty reasonable to me.


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## CourtneyB

tbyrfan said:


> That's me in the avatar. I really don't see how they have any problems...if one or two people said it, then maybe it wouldn't be true, but because LOTS of people have said it, they sound pretty reasonable to me.


LOTS of people believe and say stupid things that aren't true. That's a fact.


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## tbyrfan

CourtneyB said:


> If you're ugly, then there's no hope for me or anyone else on this board...which, by the way, is complete untrue and insane anyone would truly think such a thing.


sometimes it seems like there isn't hope for anyone these days, except for those that fit the extremely narrow range of what is considered conventionally attractive :| so many people's expectations are way too high - there are so many people that are perfectly fine looking, but fail to find a girlfriend/boyfriend because they don't fit the "mold"...:no


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## Emsipoo

I've been wondering that myself!  I think a big part of it is the way I carry myself. I hate making eye contact and random conversations make me nervous. So I usually walk by people so fast they don't get a chance to say anything. Hard to meet someone that way.


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## Miss Bee

tbyrfan said:


> That's me in the avatar. I really don't see how they have any problems...if one or two people said it, then maybe it wouldn't be true, but because LOTS of people have said it, they sound pretty reasonable to me.


Perhaps you come off as unconfident and people have sensed that and bullied you by calling you ugly. Because appearance-wise, you look very pretty in that picture. Seems like you have beautiful hair, a nice jaw line, and a beautiful smile. It may also be how you dress, but no matter what, you have something to work with at least.


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## Savril

No confidence/low self-esteem 
Negative At most times
Not good-looking 
Extremely Short
Can't seem to keep a conversation going/boring.


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## downunder1

before SA, i never really found females that appealing social wise or friendship wise... i am not gay though. now with advance SA, i still feel the same as before but add to the equation the fear of not being social with her family or friends. marriage? i don't think i can go through that, at least in my present state of mind.


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## ThisGuy

Girls mustn't bother themselves with me. I don't have what they want. They intimidate me. I'm not social enough. I'm not the loudest, most talkative, funny guy in the group when around them. I can't approach them and I don't have any close female friend who could introduce me to other girls. There have been less than 5 times in my life where I spent more than 10 minutes hanging out with either a girl by herself, or a mixed group of people (or any group of multiple girls), excluding classwork. To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't have the first clue in what to do if a girl walked up and told me she liked me. Well, I would know what to do, but I wouldn't have the confidence to go about doing it.


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## Hiccups

single life > relationships


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin

I'm just too much of a godamn maverick renegade, and girls just don't seem to like that.

:stu


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## kennyc

let me think.......hmmmmm.......ehhhhhhhh..............emmmmmmmmm..........


OH YEH I'M A SOCIAL RETARD


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## NoIce

I have a few reasons; some to do with my self, some to do with others.

I'm not in any rush at the moment though, I'm more concerned with finding a good place for me.

And I guess it doesn't hurt to know what you're selling before you bring it to market.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin

NoIce said:


> I have a few reasons; some to do with my self, some to do with others.
> 
> I'm not in any rush at the moment though, I'm more concerned with finding a good place for me.
> 
> And I guess it doesn't hurt to know what you're selling before you bring it to market.


Wise man!


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## Rossy

tbyrfan said:


> That's me in the avatar. I really don't see how they have any problems...if one or two people said it, then maybe it wouldn't be true, but because LOTS of people have said it, they sound pretty reasonable to me.


Your very pretty,those people need to get there eyes tested


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## smt074

Personally I keep winding up with the wrong people because my SA is making me misrepresent who I am. I am now taking a break from relationships to work out some of my SA issues. I'm still playing the field though.


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## RyanAdams

tbyrfan said:


> That's me in the avatar. I really don't see how they have any problems...if one or two people said it, then maybe it wouldn't be true, but because LOTS of people have said it, they sound pretty reasonable to me.


Well, I disagree. But for what it's worth, that's a beautiful photo.


----------



## Biological Robot

tbyrfan...you are gorgeous!! Seriously those people must have been jealous.

I'm not in a relationship right now because no one wants a middle-aged, overweight single mother of three small children. It sucks and I really want a relationship, I hate being single. Being shy and a total dork doesn't help things either.


----------



## orpheus

I'm too picky and too shy to find out if the girls I do like are interested.


----------



## Karsten

I find it extremely hard to approach women, even if they show signs of interest in me.


----------



## jg43i9jghy0t4555

mostly it's the fact that finding and working on a relationship takes time and has to be done with a person I can't find because I don't even know how such a person would change to find them before said relationship. so. it's just something like a modern myth, and an excuse for feeling bad about yourself, and people are out there shoving it in your face that you're single, a shallow acknowledged piece of a relationship itself.

introversion is just better, in this time that we live in. because nobody can share all the experiences of life, in detail. more important, moreover, is self-love and appreciation, acceptance, for yourself as a living human intelligent being or whatever you call it. acceptance that you are your own person, free from a forced, crushingly worthless and vain "marital identity".

F*** yeah I'm good.


----------



## ExDs

Social anxiety, low self-esteem, shyness, only slight hope for a relationship I have is online and every online relationship results in getting used and cheated on for the hell of it, every relationship reduces my confidence tenfold, nothing ever works out, I'm totally hopeless and worthless.


----------



## MyJoy

Because I don't want to be in one, I'm fat and not comfortable with my body, and I haven't met anyone that is compatible on all levels.


----------



## Rossy

Emsipoo said:


> I've been wondering that myself!  I think a big part of it is the way I carry myself. I hate making eye contact and random conversations make me nervous. So I usually walk by people so fast they don't get a chance to say anything. Hard to meet someone that way.


I am very similar to you


----------



## voodoochild16

I think that some of us could become successful in a good relationship but since that confidence isn't there naturally, while being shy around the opposite sex then are chances are lower. But I accept that I won't be seeking a relationship until I feel confident enough, as that is my main goal right now. Despite all possibilities, any kind of relationship can be formed in any way or form, even if one guy is super shy and one girl is super outgoing or vice versa. I look at things as "there are no rules" in reality.


----------



## MTLQuebec

Just never was interested. I don't see that changing in the near future.


----------



## AK32

helena said:


> I've been madly in love with one person for years and no one comes close to him.


I feel the exact same way, I fell in love with this guy like ten years ago, and no one I have met since can hold a candle to him. I'm also scared of looking for another guy like him, because I feel like I will never be good enough for someone like that.


----------



## Blawnka

Girls no likey me.


----------



## jayjaythejetplane

You've got to really put yourself out there I think. Society ignorantly looks down on girls who approach guys, so it's ultimately down to us as men. The problem is the vast majority of us associate approaching women with negative feelings, and the fear of rejection takes over. In reality it should be the most natural thing in the world, but both sides find themselves with a brick wall in the way. Personally I'm really working on trying to break that down, and I'm actually excited about putting it all on the line.


----------



## liktheangel

I don't want to be in a relationship honestly. It sounds like too much work and I don't have the time nor mental stability to deal with it. I think I'll be alone for the next few years until I finish school and get my career going.


----------



## G girl

AK32 said:


> I feel the exact same way, I fell in love with this guy like ten years ago, and no one I have met since can hold a candle to him. I'm also scared of looking for another guy like him, because I feel like I will never be good enough for someone like that.


I felt like this for my current bf and today we are together. Honestly, I didn't care about what people thought of me when I was single, I was just so in love with this one man. And to be honestly he;s the only man I have ever loved in my life.


----------



## offbyone

I need to find someone as nuts as I am so we can start out on an equal footing. 

I don't think it would be fair or last to date a normal and well adjusted person at this point since they would get tired of my issues or just not understand. I need to get out of my comfort zone and am slowly, but jumping into a relationship where I'm expected to act completely normal would destroy what little self esteem I have.

Well that sounds pitiful!


----------



## Lincolnradiocat

Its a numbers game where I live. There aren't any women between the ages of 25-33 who are "on the market". I am on the outside looking in.


----------



## cybernaut

I just don't care..and there's no guys in my area that have sparked my interest. Even if I did like someone, it would be so hard for me too approach them.


----------



## Cyberboy82

...


----------



## Marakunda

Simple, because I haven't been trying for one, I can't. I won't look for companionship until I deem myself worthy for it, until I grow up and become a man, both in mind and body.

Not til I'm independent, confident and comfortable in who I am, will I even think of subjecting a poor girl to the torture of a person that is me. I'm much too respectful and considerate for that... lol

Maybe in a few years, when I'm a better person. I'll put it this way, I want the girl I'm with to think "Wow! What an amazing guy, I'm lucky to have him in my life!". Not just "Hey, wanna hang out?" kinda thing... I want to be appreciated at the very least.

Yeah, it'll happen eventually though.


----------



## Kennnie

cause im a sensitive ****


----------



## Brad

ExDs said:


> Social anxiety, low self-esteem, shyness, only slight hope for a relationship I have is online and every online relationship results in getting used and cheated on for the hell of it, every relationship reduces my confidence tenfold, nothing ever works out, I'm totally hopeless and worthless.


^


----------



## Farideh

I would have to say it's because I don't leave my house that much at all. I don't even go out and socialize. You know, meet new people. I don't do that. Also because I can be shy and socially weird. Or maybe I am just weird. That and ugly as well. Also because I come off as a lesbian even though I am not.


----------



## Farideh

Miss Bee said:


> In high school, I liked the shy boys with no experience. In college, I like what I like and I guess they don't like me. I suppose I've either hid it too well or been far too obvious. I come to wonder why, though. Why is it never me they pick? Am doing something wrong, or is it truly that hard to find someone who will like me as I like them?


The same thing happens to me a lot as well. The guys that I'm interested in don't even give a crap about me and the ones that are interested in me, well I'm not interested in them. This happens a lot and it's nerve wrecking. :bash


----------



## Farideh

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> Because guys don't find me attractive, so Im automatically friend zoned. I think if i was really skinny and pretty, and more confident i might have a chance.


Don't worry. You're not alone. Guys doin't find me attractive either. It's obvious that they don't. They are interested in my friendhip.


----------



## platypus

Well, I'm a gay teenager in the Bible Belt, so that's one reason. I'm also that sarcastic, annoying, goofy kid that everyone hated in middle school. Not to mention I'm always too shy with my feelings. I relate to people through jokes, so I come off as not taking them seriously. They probably hate me. I'm so immature.


----------



## VivaEmptinessRoses

Paloma M said:


> Don't worry. You're not alone. Guys doin't find me attractive either. It's obvious that they don't. They are interested in my friendhip.


Is that you in the avatar pic? If so, I dont see why you dont have a man :|


----------



## couter68

tbyrfan said:


> because no guy wants to date an ugly girl.


 for one, your nice looking.and for two, maybe the people your looking at are wrong for you.


----------



## Rossy

couter68 said:


> for one, your nice looking.and for two, maybe the people your looking at are wrong for you.


You right she is pretty,the guys must be blind.


----------



## couter68

cause i dont get out much,and not into the bar scene.just hard to find a nice lady to talk with.when you feel out of place in public.but trying to get out there


----------



## anonymid

I am not functional enough for it to be workable. I'd have to be at least somewhat independent before it would feel right to me.


----------



## jsgt

I don't go out to socialize/meet people...and when out in public, I don't have the slightest desire to approach a woman and initiate a conversation. On the rare occasion that I do speak to a woman, it's never my intention to get anywhere with her.


----------



## shifty192

Ape in space said:


> I'm a pathetic loser and no woman would want me.


couldn't of said it better


----------



## G girl

Paloma M said:


> I would have to say it's because I don't leave my house that much at all. I don't even go out and socialize. You know, meet new people. I don't do that. Also because I can be shy and socially weird. Or maybe I am just weird. That and ugly as well. Also because I come off as a lesbian even though I am not.


If that is you in your pic, you are not only pretty but very beautiful trust me.


----------



## gaz

jsgt said:


> I don't go out to socialize/meet people...and when out in public, I don't have the slightest desire to approach a woman and initiate a conversation. On the rare occasion that I do speak to a woman, it's never my intention to get anywhere with her.


I'm exactly the same.


----------



## jaymusic1992

im strange


----------



## gaz

Why i'm not in one/never been in one?;

1) I have painfully low self esteem and confidence
2) I don't go out to socialize and have little desire
3) I have very little social contacts, no close friends
4) My ego is bruised from rejection
5) I'm unemployed
6) I still live with my parents
7) I feel i have nothing to offer anyone
8) i feel ugly


----------



## meganmila

I would scare them off. :/


----------



## nycdude

gaz said:


> Why i'm not in one/never been in one?;
> 
> 1) I have low self esteem and confidence
> 2) I don't go out to socialize and have little desire
> 3) I have very little social contacts, no friends
> 4) I still live with my parents
> 5) I feel i have nothing to offer anyone


same.


----------



## RUFB2327

I already answered in this. But one other reason is my personality. I used to believe it was my looks only that prevented me from being in a relationship, but I just can't be myself around other people (not just women I'm interested in. I mean everybody). There are only 2 people I can think of off the top of my head who I can act like myself around and don't care about what they might think. Other than when I am around them, my personality is just very boring and I can't relate with anyone else. It's a crappy feeling


----------



## elemenohpee

1. Girlfriends mean you level up slower.
2. Girls do not like boys with spots.
3. my self esteem is killed by number 2.


----------



## Third3YE

I always back out of something good before it actually gets good


----------



## Kuhle

I'm not interested, and I don't see myself being interested any time soon, if ever. I just don't understand certain aspects of relationships. 

I guess it's a good thing, because most people probably wouldn't be interested in me anyway.


----------



## Stanley Joe

Because whenever i meet someone,i never know what to say to them, too scared to ask them out. Im quiet, they probably think i dont like them. They move on. Thats it. I dont even know if i could carry a relationship with anyone. I dont think they would put up with me.


----------



## talisman

1. Few girls show interest in me. I'd say on dating sites I get on average 1 girl every two years initating contact with me - usually not a girl I like. My attempts at initating contact tend to fail.
2. I don't meet any girls irl other than at work and they're all in relationships and none are my type anyway.
3. I don't have much to offer - I don't drive, I live with my parents still, I'm short and not that well built, I lack confidence - these qualities are not popular sadly.
4. I come across too nice/weak - rather than just chasing girls and making my intentions obvious I try and be polite or friendly fearing I might insult or scare them and I think it just comes across as boring or indecisive.

And as for some girls in this thread being called ugly...I too find that bizarre...they're in fact very pretty. Strange world it is... :|


----------



## Blue Bird

Sex is important to many, many people (it's not to me) so it really puts me out of the game. It's too risky for me right now and I don't feel like being bound by birth control pills to keep me from getting pregnant or have to decipher whether or not a guy is just using my body. I think my psyche is too fragile to handle the negative side effects of sharing my body with someone. I'm trying to avoid relationships. The issues listed make me incompatible with just about every guy on this planet.


----------



## Cassandra D

Until a month ago, I was in a relationship...it lasted for almost four years. Back in high school, we were friends for a few months, then started dating. I thought it was going to be a short-term, young love thing, but it grew into so much more, and as it did, I began relying on him more and more to fulfill my need for socialization, since my SA makes it hard for me to meet new people. 

Then, last month, he finally admitted to me that he really didn't see a future with me, and that even though he loves me, it wouldn't be fair to either of us to stay together. I'm sad, but I accept the situation. I'm just really lonely now, since I don't have many other friends to turn to, and I have no idea how to even begin trying to find someone new.


----------



## M Gunner

I wanted to wait until I felt comfortable and happy with myself and be able to provide for me before I could care for others. Now that I am 20 I have accomplished those goals I now am ready except i'm in the boat of having no experience and can't express my feelings towards others and it's a constant uphill battle lol getting better and closer as time goes on but it's so mentally exhausting trying to do 'catch up work' learning from paying attention to other people and reading about 'advice' online >.> I'm really flirtatious but I tend to push girls away that/when they get too close, have to over come that fear and anxiety


----------



## IcoRules

I feel like once someone got to know me better they'd realize I'm nothing special, just boring, too difficult to be around and no fun. Guys rarely show interest in me, if they do, I just assume they're lowering their standards or think I'm an easy target to get something from because I don't see why they would be interested in me when there are so many more wonderful girls out there. Plus, I'm unattractive 

I don't see anything about me that would attract guys and I'm sure this post doesn't help that....


----------



## Glue

I'm not proactive about finding a girlfriend, I guess. There's also the fact that my social skills are terrible and can't build any kind of relationship with people. I'm scared sightless of girls I've had a crush on - I've only asked out one girl (when I was 16). I'm avoidant. Weird. Humorless. etc. I don't see a reason to try.

But if someone didn't look at me as if I stepped in dog sh*t and walked across their oriental rug by just the look of my face, and showed some interest towards me, and didn't find me boring, I guess I'd make some kind of effort to ask her out or whatever the hell normal people do.


----------



## coco21

I don't think anyone wants to date someone who gets scared to leave the house like I do. Or if I leave I get nervous and can't compose myself!!!!


----------



## Skttrbrain

Many reasons.. I just haven't met the right person, I guess. I think that I'm a little too choosy and I never seem to be attracted to the nice ones. And when I do finally like a guy, I become very clingy after we sleep together .. which either scares them away or they just lose interest. I've never had a boyfriend before either.


----------



## low

Let's see.

-I'm misanthropic and people generally annoy me with their emotions and irrationality, which is the vast majority of people.
-I'm reticent and quiet.
-I'm an unemployed 28 year old, still living at home with my parents and no job.
-I'm serious/reserved/stoic and come off as uncompassionate (when the truth is I'm concerned a great deal about society and humanity).
-When I smile it's more of a smirk
-I have a sense of humour but don't laugh as much as others, or smirk at first.
-My head is shaved which I gather now, most women don't like. After having a shaved head for 10+ years, on finally deciding to grow it I'm balding. So...FML?
-I don't date borg drones/sheep into things like clubbing, football, or theists because they are generally emotional, irrational and unable to think for themselves or only concerned with (yet not even aware of) their own superficial, narcissistic, indoctrinated existance.
-I simply don't enjoy a lot of social mainstream things.
-I'm socially retarded. Very good at reading people but terrible at conversing and usual cheery etiquette. I have wierd, stiff mannerisms.
-Lately, I think I may actually be somewhere on the schizoid spectrum, if it even has a spectrum. As I have for a long time tended to prefer my own company and fantasy. I'm actually not that bothered about having friends or socialising now. On a personal level I hate and am uninterested in most people. Although on a larger scale and in a psychological context I think about them a lot.
- I'm just not 'friendly' in a social context. You can disagree, because I've wrote all of the above but I'm actually a really nice guy. I'm polite, don't bother people, if I see someone in trouble I will help. I'm kind. Though most people don't see this. They equate outgoing behaviour, being funny, cockiness, having 'banter/patter' as nice, when it has poo all to do with it (also relates to borg drone behaviour). That is NOT being a good person. It does not make you inherantly bad but people should learn the difference. And yes, this is getting at the why many women go for jerks.

So I'm pretty much dieing alone.


----------



## introverted loner

Simple. I rarely leave the house to meet women. Maybe one of these days when I'm least expecting it I'll run into the right woman. The day I go out and attempt to strike up a conversation or get her number.


----------



## meeps

I'm not friendly, not pretty, and my self esteem is abysmal.


----------



## Ckg2011

I'm a giant loser and nobody will ever love me.


----------



## LindZISOPRAH

VagueResemblance:1059510374 said:


> Because I don't know how to talk to people anymore, male or female.
> Because I have nothing to offer anyone but neuroses.
> Because I am too afraid to look for one.


.

Bingo.


----------



## J87R

While finding a date or relationship is easy for me...I refuse to get too involved with anyone until I am done working on myself so I can be less nervous and more confident in myself.


----------



## davidbrentslifecoach

1 - I'm afraid of the physical side of relationships. The fear of not knowing what to do in bed, of being shy and being laughed at or thought weird by a guy, or scaring him by the fact that I'm so inexperienced 
2 - I find it hard to trust anyone 
3 - Guys I like do not like me enough, while guys who do like me are not right for me
4 - I don't see why a guy would pick me when there are so many beautiful, cheerful, fun girls out there ....
5 - ... in fact guys I like always pick girls who are better than I am (more confident, sexy, more fun ...)


----------



## MobiusX

it's not important to me, don't want it


----------



## nightwalker

I don't talk that much to people, so I rarely talk to guys. I only talk to people if they approach me first...and guys (and girls) tend not to approach me first because I act unwelcoming (according to wat ppl have told me).. so...thats why im forever lonely


----------



## Lasair

Sure who'd have me


----------



## lovve

jus never clicked ...


----------



## Ambivert

I don't go out that much. To connect with girls you need to put yourself out there....

Also, I hate the part where I have to connect with all her friends....it exasperates me and forces me to perform...leave me alone! >.<


----------



## Dissonance

I don't go out much, I don't really have a big interest in women, the interest is there, but I just really don't care as much as other people do. I guess my standards are too high, I think everyone should be a damn near genius for me to have interest in them, I don't care about the looks of a girl. But I'm extremely picky with personalities and how intelligent she is.


----------



## anthrotex

I feel like I'm not a "closer." I'm good at getting people interested, but then as I get to know them I freak out and start to think of all the reasons it won't work out, either because of their traits or mine, and back off. Because of this, I have no practice in truly "putting myself out there" to say, "Hey. I'm interested, let's have a relationship/some sort of fling." In all the successful relationships/physical engagements I've had, they were the one to put it out there, not me. I'm too afraid of rejection to be like, "Hey. I like you. Let's do something about this."


----------



## tbyrfan

joinmartin said:


> If a majority of people tell me that pink elephants where dresses and dance on beach balls all day, I'm not going to take that as fact.
> 
> How you see yourself is your business. You've got a choice here. How you see yourself does not have to be based on some crap a lot of people may have told you. It can be based on the truth of who you are if you want it to. You get to decide. Not some random people.
> 
> I'm just curious to know how you would like to see yourself?


Well of course I don't want to feel bad about myself, but it's kind of impossible when i'm always called ugly and guys never approach me, show interest in me, or look at me. It's completely obvious that they see me as ugly, thus I am ugly. Therefore, I don't really have any choice as to how I see myself because if I saw myself as pretty, I would be lying to myself.


----------



## Rossy

^Who is calling you ugly?


----------



## gaz

tbyrfan said:


> Well of course I don't want to feel bad about myself, but it's kind of impossible when i'm always called ugly and guys never approach me, show interest in me, or look at me. It's completely obvious that they see me as ugly, thus I am ugly. Therefore, I don't really have any choice as to how I see myself because if I saw myself as pretty, I would be lying to myself.


If that's you in your avatar you are the opposite of ugly.


----------



## PaysageDHiver

anthrotex said:


> I feel like I'm not a "closer." I'm good at getting people interested, but then as I get to know them I freak out and start to think of all the reasons it won't work out, either because of their traits or mine, and back off. Because of this, I have no practice in truly "putting myself out there" to say, "Hey. I'm interested, let's have a relationship/some sort of fling." In all the successful relationships/physical engagements I've had, they were the one to put it out there, not me. I'm too afraid of rejection to be like, "Hey. I like you. Let's do something about this."


Ditto.


----------



## acinorevlm

Not confident in myself, low self esteem.


----------



## tbyrfan

joinmartin said:


> There are people in this world who see me as an idiot. There are people who see me as a wonderful person. There are people who see me in many different ways. Relying on them to pick an identity for me would send me into madness and tear into my self esteem.
> 
> I fully understand how hard it can be when you've been told certain things for a long time. People can be idiots when giving comments or when they act towards us. But a lot of the time, even these people don't really mean anything by what they say. Some do, sure. But since when should nasty piece's of work tell you who you are?
> 
> You were once a baby. So small and vulnerable. The darkness of this world could have swallowed you whole if it wanted to. Quick descent and then on to the next one. Except, that's not what happened. People put themselves in the way of that darkness and made sure you survived. I don't know who those people were for you but they still did it.
> 
> I've seen gorgeous women rarely get approached by guys. There are huge numbers of reasons why guys might not approach a girl or compliment her. There's a whole thread on here where guys have expressed their worries about coming across as creeps if they approached women.
> 
> I know this is not easy. I used to be the absolute master of taking anything anyone said to me, reading too much into it and then letting it make me feel bad.
> 
> But, to be honest, I don't want to be looking back on my life wishing I hadn't paid attention to some random crap from some idiot....wishing I'd just enjoyed my life and had faith in myself instead.


Their words sound like complete truth to me. I used to have a little faith in myself but that ended up failing miserably, as I had plenty of guys laughing in my face. When enough people behave the same way towards you, it's hard to believe something radically different.


----------



## Hello22

I just havent found love yet i guess :stu But i havent exactly looked hard enough. 

Tbh i want to focus on myself this year, i want to make myself happy, and even though i would love nothing more than a boyfriend who cares about me, i need to find happiness in myself first.


----------



## tbyrfan

Rossy said:


> ^Who is calling you ugly?


Guys of all levels of physical attractiveness. Random guys that pass me on campus. Even my friend's boyfriend, who told me with complete honesty and seriousness that I was one of the ugliest girls he had ever seen in his life.


----------



## bsd3355

tbyrfan said:


> Guys of all levels of physical attractiveness. Random guys that pass me on campus. Even my friend's boyfriend, who told me with complete honesty and seriousness that I was one of the ugliest girls he had ever seen in his life.


A lot of people are just plain cruel. A lot of guys have inferiority complexes too thinking they need to bring people down in order to feel better about themselves. It doesn't make it true.


----------



## humourless

tbyrfan said:


> Guys of all levels of physical attractiveness. Random guys that pass me on campus. Even my friend's boyfriend, who told me with complete honesty and seriousness *that I was one of the ugliest girls he had ever seen in his life*.


You've GOT to be kidding!!


----------



## NoName99

:agree


----------



## davidbrentslifecoach

anthrotex said:


> I feel like I'm not a "closer." I'm good at getting people interested, but then as I get to know them I freak out and start to think of all the reasons it won't work out, either because of their traits or mine, and back off. Because of this, I have no practice in truly "putting myself out there" to say, "Hey. I'm interested, let's have a relationship/some sort of fling." In all the successful relationships/physical engagements I've had, they were the one to put it out there, not me. I'm too afraid of rejection to be like, "Hey. I like you. Let's do something about this."


Me too 

I'm not bad at socialising on a shallow level, but I tend to freak out about letting people get closer. I tell myself that a relationship can never work out to my satisfaction, therefore why risk it only to get hurt?


----------



## gmdrew

I am not in a relationship because I can't find anyone who A) won't cheat even after I give them every bit of my heart. B) can't find someone who actually wants to be with me all the time vs. going off all the time by themselves or with friends and putting me on the back burner so to speak C) apparently cant find anyone who finds me attractive...I mean I am not GQ material but I don't think I am ugly...or am I?


----------



## Rossy

tbyrfan said:


> Guys of all levels of physical attractiveness. Random guys that pass me on campus. Even my friend's boyfriend, who told me with complete honesty and seriousness that I was one of the ugliest girls he had ever seen in his life.


Well I think thats stupid what he said,I think your just fine


----------



## HQuirk

I get way too nervous to go on a date, I've been asked and I get thoughts about what there gonna think of me an they might not like me. I don't go out so I can't socialise with a lad and get to know him. Hopefully one day I won't get soo nervous.


----------



## tigerlilly

Before I answer, I just want to say: there's nothing wrong with not being in a relationship. Sometimes it's healthier to be single and not have to worry about taking care of another person's feelings as well as your own.

Having said that, I'm not in a relationship because my guy friend confessed his feelings to me last week, but since I am in college we have lived 13 hours apart for the last year and a half. I had never though about dating him because when we met we were both in relationships and then I moved away, but now that he opened up the possibility I can't stop thinking about it. But who am I kidding, it's never going to work. Furthermore, I'm going back to school in 4 days. So, that's why I'm not in a relationship. I could be if I lived here instead of there.


----------



## TallGirl

Was cheated on... again. However, I'm happy to be single again. I've been a serial monogamous dater, just finished a 2 year stint. I like coming home and not dreading the other person being there. I'm only 22 and I want to enjoy being young and having some freedom. I'm done with monogamy for a few years... probably till I graduate.


----------



## gaz

HQuirk said:


> I get way too nervous to go on a date, I've been asked and I get thoughts about what there gonna think of me an they might not like me. I don't go out so I can't socialise with a lad and get to know him. Hopefully one day I won't get soo nervous.


The word ''date'' makes me nervous, in the ame way the word ''interview'' makes me nervous. When you give a label to something it make it sound much more ittimidating.


----------



## gaz

tbyrfan said:


> Guys of all levels of physical attractiveness. Random guys that pass me on campus. Even my friend's boyfriend, who told me with complete honesty and seriousness that I was one of the ugliest girls he had ever seen in his life.


That's unbelieveable! What's that guy's problem? You are not ugly at all.


----------



## gaz

ShinAkuma said:


> it's not important to me, don't want it


I wish i had your apathy.


----------



## gaz

coco21 said:


> I don't think anyone wants to date someone who gets scared to leave the house like I do. Or if I leave I get nervous and can't compose myself!!!!


You have agorophobia?


----------



## XxArmyofOnexX

You really want to know?

Here we go:

Don't leave the house outside work, and If I do it's to get something and then come right back home. 
If by some miracle some girl does seem friendly, I don't have the drive/confidence/charisma to go and talk to her. Hence my mind starts to mess with me once more, at which point I get pissed off and go home. 
Plus I wouldn't exactly know what to talk about. As a shy person, I feel invisible to girls, especially those that hang out with the obnoxious loud types.


----------



## identitycrisis

I'm not in a relationship because I'm only now starting to accept who I am. Changes don't happen overnight. I spent so long being depressed, wallowing in despair and self-pity, being unavailable, and not truly seeking any possible relationship that it's no wonder I've been alone this long. The day I can summon the courage to fight my SA everyday instead of waiting for it to go away is the day I can start having a relationship.


----------



## Sindelle

1) I'm a recluse.
2) my interests are very nerdy and I have trouble relating to what is mainstream
3) I don't talk much and don't like to show my emotions which gives people the impression that I am either cold hearted or snobby.
4) Men almost universally loathe fat girls
5) I'm negative and have very low self-esteem
6) my life has been kinda f'd up more than most people's and I don't want to get close to anyone in case they find out


----------



## Rossy

I don't have any spare time for a relationship.


----------



## immortal80

aside from the usual things that come along with S.A., i'm currently not satisfied with where my life is at right now. i want to get my career goals straight and start earning some decent income, and also be at least more accepting of myself and who i am before i even think about looking for another relationship.

if you are at a stage where you hate yourself and you jump into a relationship, it won't be very healthy, long term anyways. so my philosophy is be content with who you are and where your life is FIRST. then and only then will you be able to fully enjoy being in a relationship with the other person and be positive about it all.


----------



## gaz

Rossy said:


> I don't have any spare time for a relationship.


It's catch twenty two in my case. When i am unemployed like i am now my self esteem is low and have no money, when i am employed i am too busy and tired, and my self esteem is still low.


----------



## gaz

joinmartin said:


> So, right now, what's stopping you from developing your self esteem?


Simply not knowing how to. I exercise regularily, go to karate class, have hobbies, member of a gun club etc. The karate has helped a little bit but there is no magical remedy.


----------



## TPower

I don't have a girlfriend because I'm not a man of high status or popular.


----------



## Rixy

I've sort of lost interest in people. That includes girls. The sexual attraction is still there but I'm more concerned with other things at the moment. I used to daydream about companionship a lot when I was younger, now I rarely think about it. Now that I just focus on work, studying, and my own interests and keep to myself a lot, my confidence and self worth has improved. Of course, I don't want to be this distant forever. For now, I'm not really bothered.


----------



## Kaylee23

-i can't make eye contact with people
-any type of physical contact from non relatives make me tense up
-i avoid crowds and groups of guys (or even one) walking around campus, so i rarely meet anybody
-i'm chubby and short
-i have dreadlocks (some guys like it, but others prefer straight)
-i don't think any guy would want a girl that has SAD and depression at the same time
:blank


----------



## zerogrim

i'm fat and have mild low confidence
and too many things i need to do that are important
(job,school,ect.)


----------



## ForeverInBloom

I was with a girl in a strange situation and I even felt strange saying the words "I love you". It felt wrong as I heard myself speak those words and reiterate them several times.

I honestly don't fancy myself a relationship type, despite my interest in the abstract of love. I don't think I could see myself in a relationship, or anyone for that matter, with an individual of my tier.


----------



## ForeverInBloom

tbyrfan said:


> Guys of all levels of physical attractiveness. Random guys that pass me on campus. Even my friend's boyfriend, who told me with complete honesty and seriousness that I was one of the ugliest girls he had ever seen in his life.


There's something to discover in all of us, beauty isn't always from the outside. These guys haven't gotten to know the real you. Besides, that guy sounds like a jerk, that's just rude and unacceptable to say.

I don't mean to come off as weird but from your picture you don't look like those characteristics that you said guys described you.


----------



## Syndacus

Someone's really exaggerating themselves when it comes to ugliness. On the outside you're not ugly at all, on the inside, you might be because of your attitude.


----------



## tbyrfan

ForeverInBloom said:


> There's something to discover in all of us, beauty isn't always from the outside. These guys haven't gotten to know the real you. Besides, that guy sounds like a jerk, that's just rude and unacceptable to say.
> 
> I don't mean to come off as weird but from your picture you don't look like those characteristics that you said guys described you.


Yeah, inner beauty isn't something most guys my age seem to care about...most don't look past physical appearance, which is why I don't think i'll ever be in a relationship.



Syndacus said:


> Someone's really exaggerating themselves when it comes to ugliness. On the outside you're not ugly at all, on the inside, you might be because of your attitude.


Pessimism is an ugly trait. People tell me I might come off as unapproachable in my body language and interactions because of my pessimism about my looks and how guys might see me. I really try to not let it affect me though, but it usually gets the best of me.


----------



## TPower

tbyrfan, will you stop it?

If you were from my city, I would ask you out in a heartbeat. I'm not even kidding. I really would.


----------



## gaz

tbyrfan I really don't believe you think you are ugly! Especially looking at your new avatar pic. You look even prettier because you are smiling in it.

I do agree that pessimism is an ugly trait, but it's so hard to get out of. I'm a pessimist myself and it's not something people like.


----------



## gaz

TPower said:


> I don't have a girlfriend because I'm not a man of high status or popular.


I feel like that too. You see ugly guys who have women throwing themselves at them because they are famous rockstars or whatever.

Even in real life women look for a high status man. I think the reason i've been rejected is because the woman in question was emailing some guy who is good looking and a pilot. What chance did i have!?


----------



## gaz

Rixy said:


> I've sort of lost interest in people. That includes girls. The sexual attraction is still there but I'm more concerned with other things at the moment. I used to daydream about companionship a lot when I was younger, now I rarely think about it. Now that I just focus on work, studying, and my own interests and keep to myself a lot, my confidence and self worth has improved. Of course, I don't want to be this distant forever. For now, I'm not really bothered.


 It's easier when you are that young. I wasn't bothered much but as soon as i hit my mid twenties it began to hit me that i'd never had a girlfriend. I still haven't had a girlfriend and am nearing 31.


----------



## FadeToOne

Because I am a ninja turtle. 'Tis a lonely life.


----------



## rdrr

FadeToOne said:


> Because I am a ninja turtle. 'Tis a lonely life.


But a little rat told me a local news reporter has a crush on you!


----------



## Secretly Pretentious

I suppose I have two primary reasons:

1. I'm very insecure about my inexperience. I'm 22 years old and I still have no idea how to kiss, how to flirt, what to wear on a date, how to behave, how to turn men on, how to be a knockout in bed, etc, etc... I want to blow his mind but I don't know how. So I feel it's better not to pursue anybody at all in fear of being "bad." I wish I didn't have so much pride.

2. I'm terrified of being sexualized. Any time a guy looks or touches me in a sexual manner, I immediately start to feel a little panic. I've had men come up and touch me while I was dancing and I panicked (left the dance floor). I've had men look like they wanted to ask me out and I panicked (quickly changed the topic of conversation and wouldn't let him get another word in). I've had men look at me like they've wanted to kiss me and I panicked (offered an awkward hug instead and said goodbye). 

The worst was when I was 13: I on a cruise ship and I met this one guy at a teen orientation and he seemed really sweet. I hung out with him for a while before he started to get a little too friendly. He'd start playing with my hair, and holding my hand, and pulling me close by the waist, and looking deep into my eyes. He told me that he reminded me of his sister and told me about how he watched her get murdered by a group of guys. I was terrified and pleaded for him to stop while I tried to pull away. He'd just grab my wrist and I couldn't break free no matter how hard I tried. No matter what I did, he just continued to smile ever so sweetly at me. It's like he was in complete denial of my discomfort. I spend the second half of my vacation, never leaving my parents' side.

It's funny. I crave sexual attention so bad. But when I finally get it, I feel so dirty that I just want to die.


----------



## Catnap

- Living with my parents on the rural outskirts of an equally nowhere town, where there aren't much jobs or opportunities and everyone with a reasonably ambitious goal has left for some place else, which I will be too, soon, hopefully! 

- Staying home most of the time due to lack of transportation/money and caught in a catch-22. Need transportation to get a job, need a job to have the money to maintain transportation. Argh! Single vehicle that my parents use keeps breaking down (double argh), but there IS a bus station, it's just a bit of a walk and comes out this way so few times during the day that I have to plan on being gone from early morning until late evening if I choose to use it. 

- Still hurting and not quite healed emotionally over previous experiences. Not eager to take another risk and get hurt some more. Also not sure what I want and don't want to hurt anyone else while I'm trying to figure it out.

- I feel all too aware that I'm not really currently what most guys are attracted to physically. Kate Middleton could probably use one of my pant legs for a dress. I could use work in a lot of areas. :/


----------



## G girl

hmmm interesting


----------



## MidnightBlu

tnbyrfan you are gorgeous. You could be a model and I'm not saying that just to be nice. Whoever calls you ugly have serious problems and are douches.


----------



## Rossy

^ I keep telling her the same.


----------



## Rainbat

I'm not in a relationship because I haven't found someone that I consider a good potential partner. I interact with plenty of cute girls at campus, but I feel like asking them out would only bring about something frivolous and fleeting. I used to date regularly, thinking that I might find someone worthwhile if I kept looking, but I've since stopped. I still think there are girls out there my age that are capable of a relationship with some kind of depth, but whether or not any of them are in my general area is another problem entirely.

(You could just say I'm judgmental, but I think that's too vague of a picture to paint.)


----------



## jay l

because this girl has a boyfriend and likes him more than me.


----------



## shynesshellasucks

There are multiple reasons, but one of the main reasons is that I don't know how to socially interact with people.


----------



## Ashley1990

just triedsome 15 days ago..it didnt work


----------



## melancholymel

Broke up with a guy 3 months ago......we were together 1 year.......


----------



## calichick

Attractive men make me nervous
Eye contact makes me nervous
I'm lazy as hell when it comes to being proactive about doing this stuff
I like comfort and am not about to go to a bar or club
I don't like socializing.
I'm not good at holding conversations. At all. Unless it's with my mom =(

boo.


----------



## Nessy

Broke up a month ago and want to have my own place first where I actually have some privacy (in June!11111)


----------



## Rossy

Not really intrested in having one


----------



## bsd3355

Because I already have a relationships with a girl name Rosey Palms. jk!


----------



## Barette

I'm not in a relationship because I'm afraid to socialize, and I don't think that a man could be attracted to me or interested enough to want to date me.


----------



## Rossy

^I am sure thats not true.


----------



## Barette

Rossy said:


> ^I am sure thats not true.


It's probably not, but I just can't imagine a guy wanting to date me when there are so many better girls out there.


----------



## Eia Au

Lack of confidence is unattractive


----------



## PickleNose

Eia Au said:


> Lack of confidence is unattractive


 This dude is very confident.


----------



## Jane Doe

Because I haven't found someone I like who would like me back. I've been asked out by strangers before, but I had absolutely no interest in them. I'm still having trouble understanding the concept of finding mutual love.


----------



## Donnie in the Dark

To be honest, I don't make enough effort to meet people. I mean sure, I have all the low confidence, appearance issues, anxiety etc but the big thing is probably my lack of effort. I would love to get a relationship, but somehow I dislike the idea of going out of my way in my life to find it.
Anyone else feel that way?


----------



## gaz

Donnie in the Dark said:


> To be honest, I don't make enough effort to meet people. I mean sure, I have all the low confidence, appearance issues, anxiety etc but the big thing is probably my lack of effort. I would love to get a relationship, but somehow I dislike the idea of going out of my way in my life to find it.
> Anyone else feel that way?


Yep! I'm the same. Although i have always had low self esteem/confidence, and avoidance issues a huge part of me simply can't be bothered to make and maintain friendships o'r find a girlfriend.

I'm a homebody/hermit and no woman would put up with that. Women want to be taken out and stuff and i just find the idea too much effort. I don't understand how people can juggle work, family, hobbies, friendships, and relationships etc. I need time alone to do my hobbies as i have lots of them and being deprived of them would drive me mad.

Just the whole idea of having to go on dates to meet ''the one'' puts me off.


----------



## mezzoforte

I'm awkward and appear boring when I'm nervous. It takes me a while to warm up to people. Basically, I need someone patient enough to deal with me.


----------



## Ratty

Because:
1. I'm scared - very, very, very afraid of being hurt, being rejected, being used/exploited sexually.
2. The guys that express interest in me are not good for me and do not have my best interest in mind.
3. Relationships are a huge struggle for me.


----------



## sean88

The short answer is fear. lol


----------



## Neptunus

Been too busy with my career and fixing myself.


----------



## Linlinh

1) I think I am a pretty boring person. I find it hard to talk in-depth conversations about anything (online or in reality). I have a tendency to change topics every 5-10 minutes and I think that may put some people off. I find it especially difficult to talk to intelligent people because I'm a bit ignorant and naive.

2) I'm not physically attractive and way too quiet.

3) I have difficulty showing affection and emotion so some guys might think I'm a cold person.

I was close to being in a relationship, but I ruined my chance because I was too blind and selfish...:cry


----------



## BehindTheseHazelEyes

Well... I'm in my comfort zone being single (it's all I've known), I don't feel like putting the work into maintaining a relationship, and my many insecurities; just to name a few.


----------



## StoicNate

1. I overthink things and obsess about people that I think I like.

2. I'm not good at talking with people. My mind is blank and finding things to say is difficult.

3. Physical Anxiety (Severe: Leg spasms, jaw clenching, random spasms, jitters) makes it even more difficult to look "normal" and try to talk with people. Lol, people think I'm hyped up on something.

4. Self-esteem issues, along with depressive tendencies.

5. I tend to just stop contact with people due to being overwhelmed by it all.

Yep, that's why I'm not in a relationship.


----------



## gaz

BehindTheseHazelEyes said:


> Well... I'm in my comfort zone being single (it's all I've known), I don't feel like putting the work into maintaining a relationship, and my many insecurities; just to name a few.


I feel the same. After 30 years of life alone i simply can't change. I'm not a risk taker, and life in general is about taking risks.


----------



## gaz

Linlinh said:


> 1) I think I am a pretty boring person. I find it hard to talk in-depth conversations about anything (online or in reality). I have a tendency to change topics every 5-10 minutes and I think that may put some people off. I find it especially difficult to talk to intelligent people because I'm a bit ignorant and naive.
> 
> 2) I'm not physically attractive and way too quiet.
> 
> 3) I have difficulty showing affection and emotion so some guys might think I'm a cold person.
> 
> I was close to being in a relationship, but I ruined my chance because I was too blind and selfish...:cry


I have difficulty showing emotion too. I don't like to touch people or sit too close to them even though i want to.


----------



## gaz

Sphere said:


> Because i enjoy gaming ALOT and the fact there's a sever lack of girls that enjoy gaming. 90% of the girls ive met whilst gaming are gaming with there boyfriends which sucks seeing as the internet is the best way to meet girl gamers.
> 
> I've came to the conclusion that girl gamers are a very rare species or they are fairly common but most are just completely unaware they even like gaming until they find a bf which likes it and introduces it to them. Every girl gamer i've met online seems to be of the latter category.
> 
> Does anyone happen to know where all the single girl gamers are hiding?


It's difficult to find a woman who has the same hobbies.


----------



## gaz

calichick said:


> Attractive men make me nervous
> Eye contact makes me nervous
> I'm lazy as hell when it comes to being proactive about doing this stuff
> I like comfort and am not about to go to a bar or club
> I don't like socializing.
> I'm not good at holding conversations. At all. Unless it's with my mom =(
> 
> boo.


What about less attractive men?

I'm lazy too. I'm too lazy for friends even and i hate the commtiment.

I don't know where you can meet someone other than a bar/club, most people you hear about met someone in them places. I don't like them either so i don't know where i can go, also i don't like socializing either.


----------



## ShyViolet

I'm not good looking and I have no social skills.


----------



## dave twothree

Can't handle it now, I know how I am. Wouldn't be fair to someone else to deal with me as I am right now.


----------



## Nefury

I think it's the same for a fair amount of other people here, I can't expect anyone to like me when I barely like myself.


----------



## AmeriSwede

Let's just say I go to an all guys school and that I am working all the time to finish school. Honestly, I don't even feel that I would have his problem talking to girls had I been at a normal college with an even guy/girl ratio. No, I am not saying that I am the most talkative guy ever. I certainly am not, but giving me limited opprotunities to talk to girls won't help me.


----------



## calichick

gaz said:


> What about less attractive men?
> 
> I'm lazy too. I'm too lazy for friends even and i hate the commtiment.
> 
> I don't know where you can meet someone other than a bar/club, most people you hear about met someone in them places. I don't like them either so i don't know where i can go, also i don't like socializing either.


All men make me nervous. I feel like I have nothing in common with them, it's just the attractive ones that send me into a frenzy..

I think that once I get my driver's license, it'll be liberating hopefully.


----------



## brandini734

1. I feel like I'm too inexperienced and young, considering that most people my age have already done "things"
2. Most of the girls in my area are too outgoing and sociable, the kind that find me frustrating to talk to
3. I feel like I wouldn't make a good boyfriend
4. I would feel uncomfortable if the girl was doing most of the work
5. I don't think girls think of me as a dating type (maybe more like a "little brother" type of a friend, they mostly don't take me seriously


----------



## Intron09

I have tons on insecurities for sure. But even after that, there are only 2 ways a relationship can go once you enter in one. Either you'll 1) break up-- and it'll be likely caused by their dissatisfaction, or 2)get married. Being that I'm scared of boyfriend/girlfriend intimacy, I would never be able to handle marriage. 

In my mind it makes sense to not pursue any relationship.


----------



## kosherpiggy

1. i don't like relationships. i've never been in one so i'd be really scared to be in one.
2. i'm still in love with this guy. i cannot even facebook chat him because of my anxiety and haven't talked to him since june.


----------



## Rossy

I am too stubborn all so.


----------



## matildaz

Maybe coz I don't talk to guys, they are not so brave to talk me... And if some guy talks me, i usually am like stopping it fast etc. Even if I like someone, I can't show it, I just am shy, and also i want a serious relationship, if someone doesn't look like a loyal one, I don't like to be close with him...


----------



## brownzerg

I seem to strike out all the time 
Especially when another man enters the competition.
I'm a pretty nice guy but highly highly under appreciated, so when someone does actually notice me I get way too excited and end up coming off desperate I guess. My SA flares up and goes bonkers when dealing with Women so I stumble all over my words, say stupid things, apologize a lot over things that perhaps I shouldn't... 

I sincerely hate it and wish I could date, i really do :sigh


----------



## matildaz

Well if there's any competition I would definitely quit, coz to me it doesn't make any sense... If i am the only one then I am, if not then I would leave the occasion, coz I just want someone loyal...i


----------



## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin

General lack of accomplishment/fulfillment in other areas of my life, coupled with me making redonkulous decisions/assumptions and overthinking due to lack of relationship experience. And where I am living at the moment, there's about a herd of cows for every girl.

I'm making a concious effort to be more comfortable around women and people in general, so I hope it pays off!


----------



## JadedAm

I'm not in a relationship because I'm never approached. And when I am approached, my male friends want a fwb relationship. I believe I deserve better than being used for sex until they find a girl to date.


----------



## Citrine

matildaz said:


> Maybe coz I don't talk to guys, they are not so brave to talk me... And if some guy talks me, i usually am like stopping it fast etc. Even if I like someone, I can't show it, I just am shy, and also i want a serious relationship, if someone doesn't look like a loyal one, I don't like to be close with him...


Yeah, this pretty much sums it up for me too.


----------



## layitontheline

I'm too messed up. I don't know how to be in a relationship without making my life revolve and depend on that person. I need to find myself first and all that good stuff.


----------



## HeyImAnAlien

I'm too awkward to talk with and I act like I hate everyone I'm attracted to -.-


----------



## LxHi

HeyImAnAlien said:


> I'm too awkward to talk with and I act like I hate everyone I'm attracted to -.-


baha i do this sometimes

I'm not assertive, I'm pretty good at creating scenic moods with girls, but I often wait for them to act on it when I'm the one who should be. I'm pretty relaxed and it's easy for me to get comfortable, so my enjoyment of a situation can lead me to be misjudged as presumptuous. Also I can switch on and off as very talkative to very antisocial. And so girls begin to think I'm playing with them. And a lot of the time it turns into an argument and I just end up distancing myself from them.

Also I think way too far ahead, even when it's just a simple fresh relationship. I've been in one for four years and after that break up I just constantly think about fast forwarding. And it turns out I feel like; if I feel the relationship wont last forever then its not worth pursuing and I don't even give it a chance based on such an irrational thought.


----------



## Livvy

I'm not confident enough to initiate or return the interest from guys. I don't put myself out there for fear of rejection and it doesn't help that I don't have many friends or a social group through which I can meet people.


----------



## VVinGalE

:-l Because I feel no one deserves a weak pathetic person like me.

And I'm kinda germaphobic against kissing.

E.E and I guess i just dont understand love at all even when to tell if someones attracted to me.

And maybe fear of rejection


----------



## BachelorFrog

Because I avoid interaction because of social anxiety 'DUH...

Most women aren't patient/interested anyway.


----------



## brownzerg

Sweet! bacholer frog, i can relate to him.

I'm primarily afraid/intimidated of Women, Women I find to be attractive most especially. I've been hurt and humiliated by pretty ladies for quite some time so its just natural that I'm pretty defensive when it comes to dealing with them. I think this in a combination of my SA and shyness tends to put them off some  

Not having a job isn't helping either heh


----------



## JupiterStarr

No one wants me. I've been trying for almost a year now. A few guys may want to have sex with me but none have wanted a relationship. Never in my life have I been in a proper relationship. Yesterday, I was rejected once again. No one wants me. I think women that are able to make a guy love them enough to marry them are so lucky. I wish I knew the secret. I can't get a guy for the life of me.


----------



## matildaz

Citrine said:


> Yeah, this pretty much sums it up for me too.


Wow thank you for the resonance!



HeyImAnAlien said:


> I'm too awkward to talk with and I act like I hate everyone I'm attracted to -.-


That's quite true, I feel the same! And it happens very often, I wonder why it's like this, but the ones I like just think I dislike them, not only in relationship, but also in friendship etc....


----------



## David777

My walls are too high. My barriers too thick.

Because of that, no matter what they do, no matter what they say, I am unable to believe that they love me.


----------



## gaz

JupiterStarr said:


> No one wants me. I've been trying for almost a year now. A few guys may want to have sex with me but none have wanted a relationship. Never in my life have I been in a proper relationship. Yesterday, I was rejected once again. No one wants me. I think women that are able to make a guy love them enough to marry them are so lucky. I wish I knew the secret. I can't get a guy for the life of me.


I suppose there's a lot of guys who'll use women for sex. The whole argument of ''women have it easier'' may mean easier to get laid but love is different.


----------



## Brenee

I never meet people. When I go out I never get approached, every friend I know is in a relationship and their friends are in relationships and I get the weirdos on online dating sites.


----------



## stuart

I'm offensive to every sense.


----------



## mezzoforte

Because I'm inadequate.


----------



## Ulysses

I'm to oblivious to know if a person likes me, wish people would just come out and tell me, I don't pick up on cues, nor on signs, or on any of the other clues which seem to be such a big part of interacting with the opposite sex. I can usually figure out after the fact, but by then its usually too late.

Also I'm not real good in maintaining a relationship, its not habit forming with me, I have to constantly force myself to do so, and then I usually overcompensate, so lack of proportion too I guess.

I do not think that I am unattractive, nor am I stupid, nor am I depressed most of the time; its just really really hard for me to go out by myself to meet somebody, part of it is that I'm not real good at having friends either, so no social reinforcement or peer pressure to force me.

Its a lot harder to build up yourself to go out and meet a girl, then it is for you and your wing man to help, usually I go out with my brother but he's not here so its very hard for me to go out by myself, how do any of you do it?


----------



## DubnRun

cuas i cba and prolly be single for the same reason forever


----------



## northsea

I've never been in love with someone and I don't really want to be in a relationship, to be honest.
It's too exhausting. I can't even keep my friendships lol.


----------



## bk

because nobody will respond to my thread
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f7/wanna-get-married-163191/
:sigh


----------



## pita

Because I'm so over that crap.


----------



## arnie

tbyrfan said:


> I used to put myself out there and got continuously rejected, laughed at and called ugly to my face, so I have since given up.


Judging by your profile pic, you look beautiful.


----------



## quietmusicman

I honestly don't know why. I have gotten close to getting a relationship but i end up messing it up. i am embarrassed to say that i have never been in a relationship, but i have kissed a girl. i really think i am boyfriend material and i am in phenomenal shape... i guess i just have to find the right girl


----------



## offbyone

Just haven't worked up the courage yet. I see it happening soon.


----------



## Subwolf

I have been very reclusive for many years. I definitely need to contend with this issue if I'm going to find someone.


----------



## Peter Attis

I also don't want to deal with the obligations or responsibility or the openness that comes with being in a relationship.

When I get home, I don't want to talk about my day, I don't want to hear about your problems, and I don't want to do anything with or for you. All I want is to be left alone, maybe watch some Netflix and waste some time on Tumblr.


----------



## Blackout93

Because the one girl i've known for the past 4 or 5 years is the only person I want and she's such a unique person, i love it.

But also because i'm overweight and lack any confidence whatsoever.


----------



## RenegadeReloaded

Cause even if I flirt a lot, when it comes to actually real live date, i always back off. So in one word, cause I don't actually try freakin' anxiety


----------



## heyJude

I'm insanely picky and seem to be meeting all the wrong men.


----------



## Rossy

I don't need a relationship.


----------



## arpeggiator

Relationships require a certain level of confidence and emotional stability which sadly, I don't have at the moment.


----------



## AnnaM

guys don't really pay attention to me and i'm too anxious to speak to them anyway


----------



## millenniumman75

> *Why are you not in a relationship? *


Well, why are you IN a relationship? :lol


----------



## Ghost

People in general are materialistic so if you have no goals or money in this fabricated monopoly world you have little chance of having a relationship.

Relationships can be like prison sentences because you're beholden to the other persons wants and needs - games and control.


----------



## Aaron0

I haven't met the right person and I am not going to push for something that's not there or settle for something that isn't right for me. I have no need to be in a relationship and to be honest unless the person is right for me they are probably just going to be a burden and hold me back.


----------



## brothersport

Awkwardness
Fear
Self esteem issues 
In the past I've scared off guys who seemed intrested in me by talking about my issues too soon .>_<


----------



## srschirm

1. I find it almost impossible to approach
2. Online dating sucks
3. Work doesn't provide many opportunities
4. I don't do enough social things outside of work


----------



## srschirm

AnnaM said:


> guys don't really pay attention to me and i'm too anxious to speak to them anyway


Aww, sounds a lot like my experience. Usually it is the guys who approach. Are you sure they don't pay attention to you? Do you give any "buying" signals?


----------



## falco

Looking like 14-16 years is a relationships killer for me, I don't notice any women, which would send any signals of being attracted to me :|


----------



## peril

On my part, it's because I don't want to settle... on their part, it's because I'm not good enough.


----------



## Drizzt45

I'm fairly aromantic so relationships don't really interest me at all. They take too much effort in my opinion.


----------



## srschirm

falco said:


> Looking like 14-16 years is a relationships killer for me, I don't notice any women, which would send any signals of being attracted to me :|


You will appreciate this in a few years...I am the same way as I said earlier.


----------



## gaz

Drizzt45 said:


> I'm fairly aromantic so relationships don't really interest me at all. They take too much effort in my opinion.


I fear i am the same way. I don't get attracted like i used to, i mean i can appreciate beauty but i rarely think i want to go out wiht her/marry her.

In truth i have never been keen on the idea of relationships/romance anyway.......Or am i in denial?:um


----------



## gaz

iamrob said:


> I don't have a job, I'm broke, and I live with my parents. I'd be very surprised if a girl wanted to date me.


I'm in the same situation except i am older. I think that a lot of women see grown up men who still live with their parents as losers and that something is wrong with them.

Even when i did have a job i still felt i did not live up to expectations of women because of poor pay.


----------



## gaz

joinmartin said:


> Only way to find that out is to change the self esteem situation. If move your self esteem to a more positive, purposeful level and you still don't want to have relationships, you've got an answer.
> 
> If working on the self esteem releases you then you've also got an answer.
> 
> I do know that when I thought I was awful/not good enough and kept comparing myself to other people, I felt a lot less inclined to meet new people. Once I began releasing myself from that negative belief stuff, my desire to interact, meet and approach people restored itself.
> 
> It might be different for you. Who knows. But work on the self esteem and you can find out.


It's bloody hard. Nothing i do really helps except for momentarily being a distraction,.


----------



## Ambivert

joinmartin said:


> Only way to find that out is to change the self esteem situation. If move your self esteem to a more positive, purposeful level and you still don't want to have relationships, you've got an answer.
> 
> If working on the self esteem releases you then you've also got an answer.
> 
> I do know that when I thought I was awful/not good enough and kept comparing myself to other people, I felt a lot less inclined to meet new people. Once I began releasing myself from that negative belief stuff, my desire to interact, meet and approach people restored itself.
> 
> It might be different for you. Who knows. But work on the self esteem and you can find out.


Do you have a list of things that can be done to improve self esteem? Like behaviors that can be done or avoided to boost self esteem, as well as thought patterns to be changed. I know I am severely lacking in the self esteem department.


----------



## tutliputli

- Too many issues and insecurities
- Lack of interest/inability to attract someone
- I assume rejection
- I'm neurotic
- I'm really weird
- Can't see myself being in a relationship with anyone who didn't have some experience of SA/depression, and I never meet anyone like that
- Low self-esteem


----------



## falco

srschirm said:


> You will appreciate this in a few years...I am the same way as I said earlier.


Thanks, I am sure that it will be a good think in my older age, but now I would just like to meet a girl, which would like my current outlook and don't mind a bit shy personality :yes


----------



## srschirm

falco said:


> Thanks, I am sure that it will be a good think in my older age, but now I would just like to meet a girl, which would like my current outlook and don't mind a bit shy personality :yes


It can be difficult even for people who aren't shy. You seem like a cool guy, it will happen. :yes


----------



## srschirm

joinmartin said:


> Yes, I do. I usually share them with clients and I've borrowed and adapted one or two from some of my colleagues too.
> 
> One good thing you can do is this:
> 
> Get a piece of paper and put your name in the middle of the piece of paper. Draw a circle around your name. Next, think about your qualities. What are the good things about who you are? What talents do you have? What skills do you have? What achievements have you made?
> 
> Draw a line from the circle with your name in it to some random point on the piece of paper and write down one of your qualities. Then do the same for another one of your qualities and so on and so on. Then, when you're finished, connect everything together so the whole thing looks a bit like a spiders web of qualities and good things about you.


Interesting idea. Hitting the gym and eating well has also helped me.


----------



## jessckuh

Because no one likes me.


----------



## AmeriSwede

jessckuh said:


> Because no one likes me.


I don't believe that's true at all.


----------



## srschirm

AmeriSwede said:


> I don't believe that's true at all.


Me either. And go Falcons!


----------



## AmeriSwede

srschirm said:


> Me either. And go Falcons!


Haha, thanks. And BTW...GT > UGA.

I can't tell you how many UGA fans I am around daily. It sometimes feels like I am the only Georgia Tech fan where I live.


----------



## jstwnalive

because I'm shy


----------



## AK32

Because in order to meet a decent guy you actually have to be able to talk to them.


----------



## MidnightBlu

Sphere said:


> Because i enjoy gaming ALOT and the fact there's a sever lack of girls that enjoy gaming. 90% of the girls ive met whilst gaming are gaming with there boyfriends which sucks seeing as the internet is the best way to meet girl gamers.
> 
> I've came to the conclusion that girl gamers are a very rare species or they are fairly common but most are just completely unaware they even like gaming until they find a bf which likes it and introduces it to them. Every girl gamer i've met online seems to be of the latter category.
> 
> Does anyone happen to know where all the single girl gamers are hiding?


I'm a girl gamer, but I have a boyfriend. You can meet girl gamers through online game forums or through playing online. Have you done that? Or of course if you got gamer guy friends that know any girls that game, they can hook you up.


----------



## Brightpaperwarewolf

I'm not comfortable and it takes me a long time to warm up. Not fast enough to get a woman's attention. I'm also a really weird and complex person. I just wish I can find someone to talk to that's warm, fun and understanding but as each day passes it seems like wishful thinking.


----------



## gaz

AK32 said:


> Because in order to meet a decent guy you actually have to be able to talk to them.


Same for us guys too in regards to meeting women. No social skills = no hope.


----------



## gaz

Brightpaperwarewolf said:


> I'm not comfortable and it takes me a long time to warm up. Not fast enough to get a woman's attention. I'm also a really weird and complex person. I just wish I can find someone to talk to that's warm, fun and understanding but as each day passes it seems like wishful thinking.


I'm the same. I notice that extroverted people can talk easily to anyone and be engagin in seconds, for me it takes years for me to get a bit comfortable with a person. No one wants an awkward person like me around them.


----------



## srschirm

AmeriSwede said:


> Haha, thanks. And BTW...GT > UGA.
> 
> I can't tell you how many UGA fans I am around daily. It sometimes feels like I am the only Georgia Tech fan where I live.


Dude, you are the man! I'm not around any Tech fans where I am now, except my brother. It sucks. I miss home.


----------



## drganon

There are a lot of reasons, but the number one reason is fear of rejection. I just see the chances of a girl saying yes being virtually non existent so I just don't bother.


----------



## blue the puppy

i recently (last month) broke up with my boyfriend of six years. i am nearing the end of my grad student career and am trying to move to the UK after i graduate, so i only want to date guys over there or guys that would be willing to move over there, which makes it pretty difficult to find someone.


----------



## papaSmurf

tutliputli said:


> - Too many issues and insecurities
> - Lack of interest/inability to attract someone
> - I assume rejection
> - I'm neurotic
> - I'm really weird
> - Low self-esteem


Pretty much this, yep. Also I'm basically a hermit, that probably doesn't help either.


----------



## 17Racer

A main reason for me is all the compromising I'd have to do. As a single man, I can read a book without being interrupted. I can rent what I want at the video store without worrying about what somebody else wants to see. I don't have to argue with anyone over what to watch on TV. I can play whatever music I want in the house without anyone complaining about my selection. When I was in a relationship, I couldn't do these things. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone around, but in the long term, I think that having to give up some or all of what I enjoy now wouldn't be worth it.


----------



## tutliputli

papaSmurf said:


> Pretty much this, yep. Also I'm basically a hermit, that probably doesn't help either.


Oh yeah, hermitude should've been on my list too :b


----------



## baseballdude

I'm a big wimp. While a women may initially be attracted to me physically, she will lose any kind of attraction when she is talking with me. I am not "manly" enough and I am painfully submissive. I tend to give women too much power in conversation and we end up having a forced conversation instead of having any kind of chemistry. This leads me to the friend zone every single time.


----------



## BlackRoseImmortal

tbyrfan said:


> I used to put myself out there and got continuously rejected, laughed at and called ugly to my face, so I have since given up.


If your avatar is a picture of you, I have no idea what these guys are talking about..


----------



## pumpkinspice

I'm in my 30s, unemployed , have a ****load of issues, and hardly ever leave the house. Not exactly traits guys are looking for.


----------



## Keith50t

*Relationships*


*No Woman wants me.:|*


----------



## cj66

Not in one because I wasn't into that whole dom/submissive relationship (lifestyle) type thing.


----------



## Skyliner

Because I'm just coming out of 4 year one. I am so ready for the single life, it's unreal. I'm sick of living in the shadow of someone else.


----------



## Blueblur

Because the person I'm currently obsessed with is a high school sophomore with a vibrant social life, multiple talents, and a firm grasp of how she wants to live her life, while I'm a borderline-homeless 19-year-old high school drop out with no friends, no car or license, almost no interests, and nothing to offer her in any way.


----------



## ShyGuy86

I'm single because I'm just out of a four-month online relationship with a sweet, pretty girl... who I was boring to death and annoying so much that we had to stop chatting.
I still think of her every day.


----------



## Witchcraft

-lack of self esteem
-dependance issues
- I expect my partner to "solve" my problems and save me
-painful shyness


----------



## River In The Mountain

I'm waiting for Mr So Wrong He's Right.


----------



## jsgt

ShyGuy86 said:


> I'm single because I'm just out of a four-month online relationship with a sweet, pretty girl... who I was boring to death and annoying so much that we had to stop chatting.
> I still think of her every day.


Hey man, I noticed the two of you had something going on. Sorry to hear that it didn't work out.


----------



## alte

I am not good enough to attract interest from the kind of women I like. I am working on bettering myself but have accepted that I may never get there.


----------



## Milco

River In The Mountain said:


> I'm waiting for Mr So Wrong He's Right.


I think I've seen him on here actually!
He posts so much that you can't find any of his posts though :\
And this post is actually so witty you think it's utterly stupid :teeth

Just don't take one that treats you so bad you think he's good to you.
You deserve much better


----------



## River In The Mountain

Milco said:


> I think I've seen him on here actually!
> He posts so much that you can't find any of his posts though :\
> And this post is actually so witty you think it's utterly stupid :teeth
> 
> Just don't take one that treats you so bad you think he's good to you.
> You deserve much better


Thanks ^^
Ill keep a baseball bat under my bed just in case though :teeth


----------



## arnie

Maybe I shouldn't be in one.

Tonight I'm watching that dexter quote: "What if the least you deserve is a real human being and what you get instead… is me.”


----------



## matildaz

Anyone out there who's happy for the Valentine's Day? I know I'm not happy... I do wish each of you a Happy Valentine's Day though...


----------



## PhilipJFry

Last relationship ended pretty badly. I've been over her for a while but it's difficult to put myself out there and deal with the possibility of getting hurt again or getting rejected.


----------



## jg43i9jghy0t4555

Because I can't be a good friend, never mind anything else.

And, I'm attracted to things that aren't realistic, e.g., vulnerable girls are attractive but if you were to 'fix' them...


----------



## FakeFur

- In the past whenever a guy did show interest in me, I'd get extremely nervous and didn't know what the heck to do, so nothing would come from it.
- I'm not really attractive. 
- I'm unapproachable.

I've never been in a relationship before. Hopefully that changes, at least in the next couple years :-/


----------



## matildaz

I'm not approachable either, I act like I dislike the guy I like, and I feel easy while talking to guys I don't have interest in them...


----------



## mirrussia

I am i bit tired of previous relationships and haven't a budjet to go out.
But the time is changing and I feel that I gonna find someone. Just for fun. Why not?


----------



## mezzoforte

I'm boring, and it's hard for me to be comfortable around guys. Not looking for a relationship anymore anyway. No one would like me as I am now.


----------



## Rossy

mezzoforte said:


> I'm boring, and it's hard for me to be comfortable around guys. Not looking for a relationship anymore anyway. No one would like me as I am now.


Are you sure on your last statement?


----------



## DubnRun

Cos I never leave the house and have no life.


----------



## srschirm

mezzoforte said:


> I'm boring, and it's hard for me to be comfortable around guys. Not looking for a relationship anymore anyway. No one would like me as I am now.


Usually I find statements like these to be untrue.


----------



## Paper Samurai

ShyGuy86 said:


> I'm single because I'm just out of a four-month online relationship with a sweet, pretty girl... who I was boring to death and annoying so much that we had to stop chatting.
> I still think of her every day.





jsgt said:


> Hey man, I noticed the two of you had something going on. Sorry to hear that it didn't work out.


Same as the above.  Wish you all the best dude.


----------



## LWR

Cuz I don'T have time, romantic mood to be with a woman, women here need attention 24 / 7 and they have too many issues. So im keeping my distance


----------



## CopadoMexicano

Because I don't try :um


----------



## ChrissyQ

mezzoforte said:


> Not looking for a relationship anymore anyway. No one would like me as I am now.


Sounds like a false belief ^


----------



## Celestial Rhapsody

Some of the men I meet I just have no interest in - they're nice enough but I'm not attracted sexually or romantically. And the guys I do meet that I have an attraction for . . . I end up running from it. I have extreme anxiety about getting into a relationship - I can date but after the first date I'm too nervous to go on. I just barely realized I have social anxiety in this area of my life.


----------



## squidd

I rarely like anyone enough to try, and when I do I feel that they don't deserve to put up with my bull****.
also I'm terrified of letting people inside my armor


----------



## squidlette

Because I can't go "out" anywhere without feeling horribly ashamed the next day, and everybody at school is a decade younger than me. Also, I'm too lazy (or depressed) to put forth the effort or deal with the rejection at this point. Can't bring anybody over unless I clean the apartment, and meh. Same goes for things like caring about my appearance and wearing clothes other than beat up tennies and jeans. Last time anybody really tried to get me to leave the apartment was over a year ago, and I flaked for months before they finally gave up and moved to Mexico.


----------



## arnie

because I don't know how to talk to women. They smile and flirt with me and I get tongue tied.


----------



## coopz

because i basically cant talk to women.
i always worry what to say
always a fear the conversation will go nowhere and get that awkard silence:blank
i always feel as if i bore people.


----------



## Kaylee23

because i don't have the guts to talk to this guy i'm crushing on... well he graduate in may anyway, and i'll never see him again. :-/


----------



## minimized

Lol who's going to want to be in a relationship with me?


----------



## Puppet Master

Well....

1. I'm still stuck at home with family so that in and of itself is a huge problem
2. The very thought of having to approach someone makes me tense and extremely uneasy much less for that purpose
3. I have no people skills period.
4. Really nowhere to go and no idea how.
5. In my entire life I've met maybe two people period on my own everyone else was through someone I knew and I don't know anyone anymore.
6. It generally takes me a long time to even contact people on the net due to a sense of unease and talking to people outside of it is far worse and far more difficult.

I'm sure if I thought about it there would be other things in the way but this will do.


----------



## gentleman caller

sprode said:


> Lol who's going to want to be in a relationship with me?


I feel the same way. It's the same story over and over. There is a pattern of things never really panning out. If no one wanted me by now there is a good chance I'll never have something serious.


----------



## srschirm

Hard to find someone who appreciates my physical/mental combo. And if I meet someone whose personality I dig, she doesn't take care of herself, etc.


----------



## shyguyy

Because I'm too shy to approach and women dont really make the first move where I live. :x


----------



## Emerald3

Why am I not in one?

Because I'm too blooming scared to say anything or do anything to the guys I've liked in the past and indeed the present. I like a guy now, and REALLY would love to say something but can't. And I feel that no-one likes me in that way or would ever want to go out with me!

I've sat during my work break with him in the room, and we sat in silence! Walked to to local bus stop after work in silence...


----------



## Innamorata

The guy I like is an idiot and doesn't want me.


----------



## dust3000

I'm not sure if I'm interested in sex.
I also think I need to have a job first.
And I'm not good at opening up to people.


----------



## mbcdn

I broke up with my ex in December and haven't been in good enough spirits to actively pursue another one. However lately I've found others interested in me, but I'm going to ensure they know I'm not ready for a relationship until I can love myself fully, it's only fair to them.


----------



## Toppington

I lack any social skills, especially with girls my age. I'm fat and acne ridden. I'm stupid as hell. Even under the fat and acne, I'm still extremely ugly. I'm too sensitive. I'm too dramatic. I like a really unique and specific type of girl rather than the busty blondes that come by the dozen these days. I rival Ben Stein in terms of boringness. I don't deserve anyone in the first place. 

Need I go on? I'm almost done holding on to that false hope that some beautiful (By my definition) girl who loves the same things I do is going to come along one day and actually love me back. Because I'm done looking for them myself only to have them stomp a mudhole in my heart.


----------



## alwaysmistaken

Im so guarded that I have a lot of trouble believing that someone would actually want to be with me, like me etc. Because of my own insecurities I end up causing fights, hurting them and pushing them away. As cliche as it sounds, I realise now that I need to love myself before I can even think about being in a relationship again.


----------



## cjamja

Bah. I fail at relationships :bah



Innamorata said:


> The guy I like is an idiot and doesn't want me.


Ah gosh, that sucks! He probably doesn't deserve you anyway


----------



## Neptunus

1. I haven't tried looking. 

2. I've been too busy with my job, and now a career change.


----------



## Innamorata

cjamja said:


> Ah gosh, that sucks! He probably doesn't deserve you anyway


Aww thanks 

He's already proved that he doesn't. Which is making it easier to get over it.


----------



## XxArmyofOnexX

Lack of confidence, sitting in my room all day. Thinking about this all the time.


----------



## mzmz

*Exactly*



phoelomek said:


> I'm a foolish, confused, neurotic, and ridiculous girlthing - not in the endearing or romantic way, either, if there even is one. :roll
> 
> I'm more trouble than I'm worth, simply. Knowing this, it'd be psychologically and maybe morally irresponsible and unfair to [attempt to] bring someone else into my world of sh*t just because I'm lonely. But it's never that altruistic, right? Right. I couldn't deal with the guilt.
> 
> And that's all assuming there is anyone who'd even want to know me in the first place. Unlikely.


:sigh


----------



## ratbag

Because I think too far ahead.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Because the girls I want, don't want me, and the girls that want me, I don't want.

That's it, in a nutshell.


----------



## mezzoforte

Because at this point I would probably end up being co-dependent, and so the relationship would eventually fall apart.

Also, no one is patient enough, or interested enough to deal with me being quiet and boring. Some guys like quiet girls, but I'm too socially retarded to keep a conversation going.


----------



## rachsouth

I'm fat, and extremely shy, but that's never prevented me from being in a relationship before. I'm not ugly, just... fat - which isn't a bad thing. There are plenty of men and women out there who don't care - and quite a few who _like_ it.

The reason I'm single right now is more because it's just not the right time. I've got an 8-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, live with my mother, share a car (and don't like to drive anyways), and don't really have money to go out anywhere. I'm working out a lot of issues with my head - learning to appreciate myself for who I am, finding ways to deal with my anxiety, etc - and I feel that I need to be on a little more stable ground and able to function at least enough where I wouldn't be relying on a partner to take care of _my_ responsibilities. Not to mention, I need to find ways to get through my low points - every relationship I've had in the past has resulted in me basically walking (ok, more like running) off during one of these low points - or started in one of them, and was a stupid, stupid idea to begin with. (Well, except for the one where the guy died in a car accident... He was _really_ good for me, but obviously it wasn't meant to be.)

Oh, and all you geeky, shy, and/or inexperienced guys who claim that there are no (single) girls out there who game, or who are interested? You have _no_ idea. We do exist, I promise. You just have to know where to look.

And a little tip... If you want to have girls come up to _you_? Learn to knit, and knit in public. There's a _large_ amount of geek girls out there who knit, and they're always lamenting the lack of guys who understand. Plus, you get a huge confidence boost every time you finish something, which is always a good thing.


----------



## Radiata

The two guys I dated were great, but my relationships with them were too intense for someone at my current level of maturity. I suffered from panic attacks while I was dating them, for a variety of complicated reasons that still give me a headache to think of.

As of the moment, just entertaining the idea of being with someone makes me horribly anxious.


----------



## missalyssa

I am in one!

Buit reasons why, before I met my bf is that I am very picky and have too high of standards and don't realixe that the "perfect" guy does not exist. For some reason I think I deserve something wonderful.


----------



## Starr

I was never interested in dating or boys nor do I want a relationship.
I pretty much happy being single.


----------



## Logitech

I'm a teenager and teenage girls don't seem to have much interesting to talk about.


----------



## Revan

Because nobody's ever showed an interest in me and I feel as though I'm not physically attractive enough for them.


----------



## TheOutsider

WintersTale said:


> Because the girls I want, don't want me, and the girls that want me, I don't want.
> 
> That's it, in a nutshell.


+1


----------



## minimized

Girls want you. Sounds like a start.


----------



## srschirm

Revan said:


> Because nobody's ever showed an interest in me and I feel as though I'm not physically attractive enough for them.


Do you approach/message?


----------



## jaaay

I think im unattractive and seen as awkward. Ive been told im pretty but dont believe it. I feel like no guy wants to talk to me. I liked one guy but he is a pothead and idk if i want to be pulled into that atmosphere. I know i dont have to participate in those actions but idk. I really just have low self esteem and idk how to fix it. Also when i am around guys i have really bad anxiety attacks and stomach aches


----------



## Essexboy

I'm not in a relationship because my focus is far too internal on my own problems which means I cannot connect with anyone on an emotional level.

Everyone seems to be focusing on how they look. I'm above average looks but that's definitely not helped my relationship status. I have seen some stunners on here say that they're ugly etc but that's nonsense - your not in a relatonship because your're not good looking, your not in a relationship because your THINK you're not good looking!!

I think most people on here have the same problem as me - it's because of the internal focus.


----------



## Craig788

i was in one, we lived together for over 3 years

i got home from work one day, and she was gone - with all her belongings

completely blind sided,havent spoken since the last time i saw her - she changed numbers and emails so that i couldnt contact her

been a train wreck ever since


----------



## Droidsteel

Because I have not yet met a girl who will go out with me and don't have any way to meet any girls at the moment


----------



## Post_Punk_Proclivity

millenniumman75 said:


> Heh, too busy. I have a good car ('06 Mustang), a good job (I'm a techie, ladeeez), and I am not one of them losahs. I just want to focus on myself more right now anyway - there are areas I need to improve.
> 
> Like Matty, 2012 may be a big year - I just don't know it yet.
> I have made HUGE strides in 2011.


Haha, INSPIRATIONAL! *gapes* :lol

I relate to you man, we could all use a little bit of 'focusing on oneself' sometimes. I am still yet to take up hobbies I swore I would 2 years ago.

Anyway basically what MM75 has mentioned minus the car and seemingly lucrative job position! I think I have a lot of personal things I need to improve on and I think it's important to be able to be happy with yourself before you can make somebody else happy.


----------



## rymo

After being in my 2 and only relationships in the last year, I've realized that I need to stop getting into them with just anybody. My first gf was not very attractive and didn't have a lot of personality, but she was the first girl to show me any attention and she's very nice and laid back. It was easy to fall into a relationship with her because it was all new to me, and I was desperate to experience a female for the first time. My second gf was pretty attractive and outgoing, but we didn't share a lot of the same interests and I felt like she wasn't very worldly or intelligent. I still have feelings for her and see her here and there but that ship has pretty much sailed.

I got into relationships with the first 2 girls I had ever hooked up with. It was obvious I was craving the experience and just fell into things, but now that I am more confident I can be more picky and not rush into anything with anyone. I can hang out with a bunch of different girls and if one of them seems to REALLY be a match for me, I'll go for it. Otherwise, I'll just continue to date around and focus on myself. I give 110% in my relationships and I won't make the mistake of getting with just anybody again. What's the point? Nothing is a sure thing, but I want to at least be a little bit more certain that there could be some potential there.


----------



## Owl-99

Cause I'm the Lone Ranger baby !


----------



## lkkxm

Mostly because I find it hard to trust someone. I find it impossible to express what I want because, however irrational it is, I'm afraid of the power over me that it will give someone.

That, and I find it extremely embarrassing that I still live with my parents in a 6 by 12 room that I barely fit in, even though I am 21. I was close to moving out once but that fell through. It's also embarrassing that I don't have a car, even though I *did*. I just don't have the money to fix it yet lol. But it still makes me feel worthless. Not only that but I would be terrified to bring a girl home to my parents. Not for any particular or logical reason I guess. 

So no matter how close I get to a girl and no matter how I want her things start to eat at me and I end up pushing her away.

But anyway...


----------



## Rossy

No time,no energy,no intrest.


----------



## TmastermanT

Cause if I was to get in a relationship I would be scared of losing the girl, and I have a hard time letting go. My heart would stop and I would die.


----------



## Rainbat

I'm too busy wrestling with lions and chasing tornadoes to have time for the ladies.


----------



## momentsunset

a lot of reasons, but to sum them all up - low self esteem


----------



## Mahglazzies

The simple answer? I was for a whopping five years, but my girl broke it off with me for a total ****ing ******* so now I'm single. Not out of choice, mind you, but I'm single. Don't plan on being in a relationship again until the pain subsides, if I can trust another human being with my emotions ever again.


----------



## EternallyRestless

No one is interested in me and I'm tired of trying. I've accepted being single forever, or at least for a long time. I don't care anymore, and I'm so sick of hearing "give it time, it will happen." 20 years is plenty of time. I don't care anymore.


----------



## Tentative

I don't get out enough; I don't expose myself to opportunities. Besides, I'm uncertain whether I even want to be in a relationship or not.


----------



## JustThisGuy

^ The first part. I'm working on un-isolating myself.


----------



## 67budp

Because I'm so godamn picky that I could go for years without being interested in someone. Then I'll become infatuated with someone but too terrified to act. The opportunity passes usually because there's like ten thousand other guys trying to date her. Then I'm back to square one and this pattern has continued for years.


----------



## huh

Because I'm a horrible failure.


----------



## Witan

1.) I'm pretty housebound with anxiety right now. It takes a lot of effort even to go to the Mental Health Recovery Center in my city, and that's a place where people know about my mental issues and accept me for me.
2.) I'm very self-conscious about my body, especially my pink birthmark on my thigh.
3.) I'm self-conscious about not having a job or being in school.
4.) It is extremely difficult to ask a girl out. I've only been able to do it three times, and all three were "no"s.
5.) I don't feel I'm mentally stable enough right now to care for myself, to say nothing of maintaining a relationship.
6.) It's hard for me to open up and trust people, especially a romantic partner.

Still, I think it would be cool to have a relationship  Poo!


----------



## Furious Ming

Because girls have zero interest in me.


----------



## Asbel18

Really low self esteem and confidence. I'm pathetic.


----------



## jay l

The girl I really like wants to wait until shes ready but I don't think there is enough time.


----------



## Vance

Asbel18 said:


> Really low self esteem and confidence. I'm pathetic.


This. :blank


----------



## Knowbody

aleeciav said:


> Because I'm in love with someone who doesn't love me.


I think this is always the case....for most people.

unrequited love is a bitc...._(you know the rest)_ and probably the most common form of so called "love"

Most people in relationships probably aren't with the people they REALLY want to be with, they're only with them simply because they're "there"


----------



## MushroomGeek

VivaEmptinessRoses said:


> Because guys don't find me attractive, so Im automatically friend zoned. I think if i was really skinny and pretty, and more confident i might have a chance.


yup, this is exactly how i feel. Either they dont like me or just want to be friends! Bummer


----------



## wiZZ

Because i'm too ugly for a woman and MANY people have said the same thing to me and it's made me convinced i'll be alone forever.


----------



## Peter Attis

Unrealistic expectations of women.

A girl will never be as perfect as she can be in my mind.


----------



## Evo

Because I'm pathetic. :blank


----------



## Droidsteel

Also because Ive never gotten even a single reply back form women on dating sites.


----------



## Volp

I don't know...

I'm ugly, so that's a checkmark


----------



## rajjer01

I'm afraid of the no's and I have a lot of trouble being close to people because I lose that self confidence around attractive girls


----------



## JustThisGuy

Isolation. Insecurities don't help.


----------



## Khantko

i am a complete mess when it comes to girls.


----------



## emilygiselle

Mostly because I haven't met anyone. I'm almost done with my first year of college and have made absolutely no new friends, therefore making it impossible for me to meet any guys as well. Its depressing, actually.


----------



## GroupHug

The thought of being genuinely emotionally intimate with a person is a frightening one.


----------



## Witan

GroupHug said:


> The thought of being genuinely emotionally intimate with a person is a frightening one.


:ditto


----------



## KLKCAhBoy90

Because I'm shy around girls so I don't get to interact with them much.


----------



## MrGilligan

I don't want to make the sacrifices necessary to be in a relationship. (I just want to do what I want without worrying about what my husband or wife wants.) I don't like sex. I don't make friends with new people easily. I don't want to be stuck in a marriage like my parents' marriage was.


----------



## Corvus Cowl

Out of shape, out of job, out of a ride, super shy, a mega nerd, my mind makes predetermined scenarios in my head, and I cannot seem to find any women who are single.

Yup. I'm a badass 

Edit: Ooooooooh I almost forgot that just about all of the women I ask are not only just with someone, but if they are single they're lesbian!


----------



## ChiefHuggingBear

Having SAD is tough on your Significant others and my struggles shouldn't be her problems.


----------



## kosherpiggy

i've just never been a relation kind of person. i'd rather date a bunch of people at once. although i'm in love with this guy, i don't want to committed to him yet.


----------



## CourtneyB

1. I've not come across anyone around here who interests me. None of them seem to be what I want in a guy.

2. The only guy I would even possibly consider a relationship with at this point goes to uni in Ohio and doesn't want to get into another serious relationship until he's done with school.


----------



## Vida

Most of the men I've dated seem to find me boring then once I do open up, I guess I just kind of scare them away. 
lol


----------



## FlufflyPurplePillow

well because most men lead me on then drop me like a sack of bricks and the crazy thing is all we did was TALK....never hung out. so it's like guys talk to me then they stop for no reason. thats what my life consists of.....

o and btw im UGLY as heck......i mean when i used to hang with my girl friends i never get a second glance. they usually get ALLLL the stares. the only time ppl would stare at me is by accident or too pitty how ugly my face is.


----------



## ThrashtilDeath

I value freedom more than intimacy.


----------



## rgrwng

i am not in a relationship because i don't want to bring saddness to them when i go off the deep end. also: afraid of the relationship quickly getting boring.


----------



## Luka92

I'm shy and uninteresting, I can't talk with girls and I pretty much got used to being single.


----------



## gusstaf

I haven't been asked out in a long time. I tend to blame it on my looks, but I think it has more to do with the fact that I send the wrong signals and clam up any time somebody shows interest.

And I'm too scared to ask anyone else out. I'm terrified of rejection.


----------



## strugglingforhope

First of all I stay at home a lot. When I do get out, carrying a conversation with a girl i'm interested in is almost 2nd to impossible, if that even happens due to anxiety. Approaching girls is almost out of the question most of the time, and I probably don't come off as that approachable myself no matter how much I try. If I do meet someone, probably the fact that I when I want a relationship with someone I get too easy to win over and don't hold any mystery back.


----------



## Loveless

I'm ugly, autistic, no money, no car, not going to school. Plus people don't take me seriously and I don't talk to anybody.


----------



## CrimsonTrigger

Easy. I haven't tried. I think I could be in a relationship if I really put forth the effort, but for some reason I'm really scared of getting close to people. That's really tough when there are so many pretty girls at my University, yet I don't have the courage to talk to any of them. It's probably also because I'm trying to be that guy who is respectful and nice to girls, rather than a little more aggressive. But oh well, I'm not angry or sad about it. I just accept things as they are and hope for improvement.


----------



## orchidsandviolins

haven't met someone i'm compatible with.


----------



## iAmCodeMonkey

I have no one to hook up with.

Zero.

Zip.

Zilch.

Null.

Void.

...

Sad, isn't it?

It is really quite melancholy-slash-loneliness-inducing at times.


----------



## Raulz0r

Unlucky I guess, but I have my hopes up, that it will change soon, hopefully.


----------



## hypestyle

still living with family.. trying to finish college and move out..


----------



## kismetie

no social life. Pretty hard to get in a relationship without a social life -nods- yep, that's me.


----------



## SneakyMelatonin

I'm too weird and unrelatable, I think because I've been single for so long I've been blacklisted by the women of the world. I don't think they want a guy like me who's never been in a real relationship and doesn't know "The Language".


----------



## Dodola

no social interaction where i am - because i am new to this country and still have ho group of friends...well i have a small group, but they are boring, always complaining about stuff, gossiping and imature
i am drawn to shy guys, not because they are shy but i find this kind of people more interesting, more to talk about. Just to keep it short, the qualities that i like in a man mostly are in shy ( i don't know, maybe SA ) guys...coupled with my own SA i don't see it happening very soon. all my boyfriends so far were very outgoing, i cared about them but never felt butterflies in my stomach...
But i am used with the idea that i will grow old and have lots a cats :boogie


----------



## gaz

I'm not good looking to start with, but the main thing is that i have'nt the charisma of outgoing guys. Oh i also live with my parents and can't get a proper job.


----------



## Soilwork

kismetie said:


> no social life. Pretty hard to get in a relationship without a social life -nods- yep, that's me.


:ditto


----------



## nonesovile

I have virtually no social life or friends, and whenever somebody asks me to go along with them to somewhere they either forget or I don't go.


----------



## MM Gloria

Because I don't want to be in one (honestly though, every once and a while I have to fight the urges that come along, that I feel, the urges of wanting a girlfriend; but in the end it's worth it). I like being alone and spending my time alone. The only woman in my life for me is my mom, word. It just takes too much this-and-that to find the right girl to be in a relationship with. And then after you're in the relationship, you have to do the work that a relationship requires. I'm not good at that, the work (I've never been in a relationship, but I've seen plenty and know that it takes work to keep up). I also seem to be detached from things and people, it's just the way I am. And being in a relationship with me would be tough on the poor girl (ha), as I don't like to go out (almost at all; only if it's necessary) and as I'm not touchy-touchy (have a lil' problem with being touched, and touching other people). So that's what's up.


----------



## rajjer01

Whenever I get close to a girl I start feeling like they're out of my league. I wish i didnt have so many issues to deal with being alone f***ing sucks


----------



## Garretoo

Number one is that I'm not out there looking and interacting with girls, like most people here I spend a lot of time alone and its where I feel most comfortable. When ever I am interested in a girl I have so many self defeating thoughts that it's like I already failed and am dealing with the negative emotions of that constantly. Any girl I've been interested in has resulted in self inflicting pain. It's too much suffering for something I can live without and have lived without most my life without any issues. Until I change the way I think of myself and handle myself, it is rather pointless. I have no idea the problems that will arise from my low self esteem if I was to be in a relationship, but I have a feeling there definitely would be problems. Thinking of this **** is just a waste of time until I work on my problems honestly.


----------



## laura024

Haven't found a good match.


----------



## 50piecesteve

cause im scared to talk to females nowdays:afr


----------



## ForeverYoung21

I worry that if guys get to know me that will think I am boring and uninteresting. I also have a huge confidence issue, Maybe it's because I've been friend zoned so many times . If I lose weight it might give me more confidence up knows. They say you have to love yourself before loving anyone else ...Plus when I am out and about I put headphones in and do not make eye contact with anyone so I don't meet anyone new. My friend said to me the other day do you want me to set you up with someone, I said no! I want a relationship but I think it's fear because I've never been in a relationship before. I joined a dating site can you believe but I have not replied to any messages , what is wrong with me zz


----------



## CWe

Not ready yet! once i get my life on track somewhat (if that happens) then maybe, but who knows, maybe all be alone. I think im ok with that.


----------



## Venkska

Because i'm in highschool. There really is no point for me too have a girlfriend right now anyways.


----------



## To22

:bash because I've always relied on luck and my luck has ran out. I've never developed pick-up skills. Well besides just playing eye games :blank


----------



## Peter Attis

I feel like I would take breaking up very hard. I tend to get very depressed after a failure, and breaking up is a pretty big failure, so...


----------



## arnie

I don't put myself out there enough
No social network.
Can't keep up a conversation.


----------



## eppe

Soilwork said:


> kismetie said:
> 
> 
> 
> no social life. Pretty hard to get in a relationship without a social life -nods- yep, that's me.
> 
> 
> 
> :ditto
Click to expand...

me three


----------



## mezzoforte

Because I'm really not good enough for anyone, and I don't know if I ever will be. I mean, I guess I'd be a good lay. I like sex a lot and I have a nice body.

But for anyone who's ever met me, or even talked on the phone with me, it's clear that I'm not much of a person. I'm not funny or entertaining at all. I can answer yes or no questions, but my social skills don't go much beyond that. I never have much to say at all, even when told I can say _anything_. I also have a slight stutter, especially when I'm nervous or really excited. I have a hard time expressing myself vocally. When I talk online, I can carry conversations to some degree, but when I talk to guys in person, I'm so petrified that my mind goes blank. My mind goes blank when I'm not even that petrified, actually lol. I also have this thing when I'm nervous where I can't really smile. I try to relax and smile, but my cheek muscles start quivering...sigh. I feel so different from everyone, even people on SAS, and just inhuman I guess.

Yeah, so that's why I'm not in a relationship.


----------



## Elad

Feelings of inadequacy which seep into everything about me. I become unbearable and have stints of social retardation.


----------



## northstar1991

-I isolate myself too much
-I don't put myself out there a lot
-Insecurities
-Really picky


----------



## AllToAll

northstar1991 said:


> -I isolate myself too much
> -I don't put myself out there a lot
> -Insecurities
> -Really picky


I agree with these, but I'm not sure about the last one. I wouldn't start a relationship with just anybody, but I would give plenty of guys the chance; I like being surprised. 
:stu


----------



## Paper Samurai

mezzoforte said:


> Because I'm really not good enough for anyone, and I don't know if I ever will be. I mean, I guess I'd be a good lay. I like sex a lot and I have a nice body.
> 
> But for anyone who's ever met me, or even talked on the phone with me, it's clear that I'm not much of a person. I'm not funny or entertaining at all. I can answer yes or no questions, but my social skills don't go much beyond that. I never have much to say at all, even when told I can say _anything_. I also have a slight stutter, especially when I'm nervous or really excited. I have a hard time expressing myself vocally. When I talk online, I can carry conversations to some degree, but when I talk to guys in person, I'm so petrified that my mind goes blank. My mind goes blank when I'm not even that petrified, actually lol. *I also have this thing when I'm nervous where I can't really smile. I try to relax and smile, but my cheek muscles start quivering...sigh.* I feel so different from everyone, even people on SAS, and just inhuman I guess.
> 
> Yeah, so that's why I'm not in a relationship.







Wow, I didn't actually think anyone else on here had that !


----------



## Bryan108

Because I never go out anywhere and talk to strangers..


----------



## mezzoforte

Paper Samurai said:


> Wow, I didn't actually think anyone else on here had that !


I thought I was the only one too lol.


----------



## lkkxm

mezzoforte said:


> Because I'm really not good enough for anyone, and I don't know if I ever will be. I mean, I guess I'd be a good lay. I like sex a lot and I have a nice body.
> 
> But for anyone who's ever met me, or even talked on the phone with me, it's clear that I'm not much of a person. I'm not funny or entertaining at all. I can answer yes or no questions, but my social skills don't go much beyond that. I never have much to say at all, even when told I can say _anything_. I also have a slight stutter, especially when I'm nervous or really excited. I have a hard time expressing myself vocally. When I talk online, I can carry conversations to some degree, but when I talk to guys in person, I'm so petrified that my mind goes blank. My mind goes blank when I'm not even that petrified, actually lol. I also have this thing when I'm nervous where I can't really smile. I try to relax and smile, but my cheek muscles start quivering...sigh. I feel so different from everyone, even people on SAS, and just inhuman I guess.
> 
> Yeah, so that's why I'm not in a relationship.


Happens to me too. It blows.


----------



## Paper Samurai

When ever I meet some one I'm not familar with I literally have to fight this reflex I have to frown :b In fact I don't know why, but it's when ever I'm tense as well, I look miserable / annoyed alot lol.


----------



## ryobi

low self-esteem...


----------



## Elad

Paper Samurai said:


> Wow, I didn't actually think anyone else on here had that !


I actually missed that part and I can relate hugely, you dont know what to do with your face because you dont want to smile so its like cluster**** of all the muscles contracting, I think a lot of people must do it.


----------



## pita

Because I have nothing to offer anyone.


----------



## rdrr

I am not what someone is looking for in terms of physical attractiveness. I have many other positive attributes that can mask this issue of mine, but 98 percent of the time, it is not enough for someone to desire me or want me to be with them in the confines of a romantic relationship.


----------



## Garretoo

I have real problems with feeling inadequate like a lot of people here, but maybe unlike some of you I acknowledge that it is my mind blowing things out of proportion. It doesn't really help me knowing it though. It does allow me to know I need to work on it.

I had the experience of having a girl tell me that I was attractive among a bunch of other compliments and It literally made me cry because It was a shock to the system of a lifetime of telling myself I was the opposite of all those things she said. Happiest single moment in memory. I'm not going to lie the fact that she was attractive definitely gave it a bigger impact. Turns out she is not the kind of person I even care to be friends with though.


----------



## mysterioussoul

1. no woman desire me.

2. i don't try hard enough.

3. i don't feel good or deserving to be in one.

4. not ready for a relationship. i need to work on myself.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Because I'm not interesting, I have no social life, and I am way way way too socially awkward.


----------



## ejmafive

because no one likes me  kidding aside, it might be that i am too picky... that i am already missing out any opportunity out there. but right now, i feel like im in love with someone though she has a boyfriend. i don't want to steal her in someone's arms. im not that desperate or pathetic kind of person to do that. but honestly, it's painful to wait for someone when that person doesn't even know your waiting for her....  JIZZZZ!


----------



## applesauce5482

Cause I don't talk much outside my home. It feels so normal to not talk in public. It's hard (currently impossible) to open up to strangers. If I do get the courage to talk, it's like impossible to joke around and be friendly with strangers.

People don't know the real me. If they did know the real me, things would be different


----------



## ejmafive

321kyle said:


> It's hard (currently impossible) to open up to strangers. If I do get the courage to talk, it's like impossible to joke around and be friendly with strangers.


what you said is just what i am doing to myself. i don't know why i feel restricted to be fun when having conversations with other people. most of the time, i am stuck at a formal conversation with someone - starting with simple "hi" or "hello" and ends with a simple "goodbye". i think i have already conditioned myself doing so all the time.


----------



## Furious Ming

I'm just non-existent garbage to girls. :|


----------



## YahYouBetcha

because i can't find the right guy and i like having the freedom to date/hook up with multiple pple at once


----------



## jonny neurotic

Cos I am a social lepar. Pfft! Cos my GF dumped me 5 years ago and I haven't been in any position to even meet new people let alone potential spouses...
*
5 YEARS, MAN! AAAAAGH...*


----------



## painfullyshy2013

The reason that I am currently not in a relationship is because of my social anxiety disorder I have been asked by guys but i never say yes or no because I get really awkward once I find out someone likes me and I usually start avoiding them. I also feel that I am not as pretty as other girls and that people will criticize my bf because of this and judge me. Since the guys that usually ask me out are more outgoing I feel bad when I'm around them because I don't have many friends and most people don't know me so I feel like I will be to clingy or look to desperate.


----------



## GuyMontag

I never interact with the opposite sex.


----------



## BobbyByThePound

I'm saving myself for Kim Kardashian.


----------



## foe

Fear of being a disappointment.


----------



## Grimsey

I should be recovered from the last train wreck by October or so.


----------



## strangesweet

Because I do not know how to talk to guys.
:/


----------



## Com1

I'm ugly, unlikable and have no money.


----------



## NotAnExit

Because I like my freedom to do absolutely nothing If I so choose. Also Im not that touchey feely so....


----------



## Maninthebox84

Because I am very anxious.


----------



## achelle92

My social anxiety and self-esteem issues. Even though I have no problem getting asked out, I still have these dumb insecurities that mess everything up. I get nervous around guys I like, and often push them away. I hate doing that.

So before I get into a relationship, I'm trying to work on my anxieties and insecurities.


----------



## Kaylee23

I don't even know  what's wrong with me ???


----------



## Ltsax

Because I am a shy (non stereotypical) black female going to an almost all white college.


----------



## DesertStar91

Because I've gotten but drama in my past relationships, and I am being too picky with men. I've single for a little over a year.


----------



## Garretoo

I'm single a little over 23 years.


----------



## NightScholar

I posted this is a different, but similar thread.

I'm not in the right place in life to be in a relationship, or so I believe. I have problems that I'm working on. Although; things are getting better, I want to better myself, so I am in a position to better my relationships. I owe it to whomever I end up with, even if it means being alone for now.


----------



## VC132

mysterioussoul said:


> 1. no woman desire me.
> 
> 2. i don't try hard enough.
> 
> 3. i don't feel good or deserving to be in one.
> 
> 4. not ready for a relationship. i need to work on myself.


wow, same here


----------



## MiMiK

because one female ruined it for me. so i just avoid relationships now


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Because I'm scared of being hurt.


----------



## mezzoforte

Because I'm inadequate in every way.


----------



## 213

i question their motives


----------



## Rainbat

Because I'm insane.


----------



## matty

I fear connecting with people. Which holds me back. If I could connect with people I would be in a relationship.


----------



## meganmila

Cause it seems like a lot of work and worrying about their feelings all the time.


----------



## Daft

I'm tired of drama and I'm tired of inadequacy. If I'm not too slow to put out, then I'm too slow to say "I love you." If I'm not oversensitive, then I'm not sensitive enough. I have to prove this, I have to guess at that, and I'd better not mess up or there's gonna be a ****storm.

Maybe I'm just scraping the bottom of the barrel here - and I know I'm not that great myself - but I don't see why being in a relationship is so highly praised and sought after anymore.


----------



## Furious Ming

I honestly don't know...


----------



## kiirby

Everyone thinks I'm out of their league. Which is true, really.


----------



## AmericanZero

I actually don't think I'm quite fit to be in a relationship right now. I become obsessed and jealous at the flick of a switch and that is definitely not healthy, nor is it good for relationships. The degree of attachment goes beyond unhealthy...it's just selfish and ****ing weird.

Beyond that, I'm fat...so yeah. Working on it :/.


----------



## sas111

Well, ge I just do not know!  :| 

I'm a walking disaster.


----------



## Gusthebus

Because most of the women near me tend to sleep with anything with a pulse, and I turned my last gf into a lesbian so it is very nerve wracking to even consider something like a relationship unless I am sure about the person... not to mention I am too F'd up to be in a relationship


----------



## Com1

Fat, ugly, weird, no friends and I'm just a miserable person in general. There's no reason for anyone to like me.


----------



## JenN2791

PaysageDHiver said:


> 3. I'm kind of dumb when it comes to "everyday" things. I don't understand very well the way the "real world" works. Very simple, allegedly straightforward things: bank transactions, navigating while driving, etc. I'm naive and awkward with respect to these things. People look at me like I have three heads after I ask some of the questions I ask or react to certain things in the ways I do. This is all profoundly unattactive to females. They want a guy who knows how "things" "work". I'm a graduate student in a highly abstract field, and it's not the type of knowledge that most females care much about.


My issue as well when it comes to men.

Also, I really don't know how to show affection. Last bf thought I did not like him at all... when I really really do. I'm just not relationship material at the moment because I know I won't be able to give a man the love he deserves esp when I don't even know how to love myself to start with. I'd rather work on myself first and figure things out before getting to a relationship at the moment.

It has hurt me just as much to see how much pain I had caused someone, and I do not want to see that ever again.


----------



## thing

I don't think I'm good enough + too many other things to worry about at this point.


----------



## vinylman

i'm not because i'm a complete loser freak. no girl would want me, in fact i can't even leave the house unless it's with my parents, them and my sister are all i have. i mostly except the fact that it's best i stay hidden from the world, because even if i could talk to anyone people would think i'm just a mess and want nothing to do with me. my family are the only people that will ever love me. i just couldn't satisfy any girl. i don't even have any friends. i'm fine with all of this most of the time, who needs all that stress.


----------



## erasercrumbs

I'm too ugly. And unlike every soul on these forums that has been unfortunately tricked into thinking they're ugly even though they're anything but, I really, *really* am.

But that's okay. Or, at least, it _was_ okay, until I ran out of episodes of Star Trek to watch on Netflix. Now I don't know what to do with myself. Go outside and stare at ants, maybe? Go buy a hat?


----------



## Cashew

I'm not ready


----------



## Valentine

Because I'm scarred of intimate relationships. Whenever a girl shows affection I push her away.


----------



## SweetPinkDreams

Because I broke up sometime ago and can't find a new person to love/I'm usually friend-zoned. :b


----------



## torrente758

I meet new people but girls either have a boyfriend or we don't get along, I guess I have bad luck sometimes on top of my SA... I really would like to be in a relationship or at least chat and share with a girl


----------



## blue the puppy

broke up with the bf a few months back and i think it will be a cold day in hell before someone else likes me.


----------



## ijustwanttobemute

I am but our relationship isn't official : (.


----------



## theCARS1979

fear of failure
the past
embarrassment
anger and resentment
situation
hair loss
confidence level 
fear of rejection
insecure


----------



## River In The Mountain

because I invest too much time in liking guys who either don't like me back or are completely emotionally screwed up.
I am beginning to resign myself to the role of an ego booster.


----------



## nomorephobia

because I am afraid. I am afraid of getting hurt by someone after I have really bonded and knew him. I don't want to be in a vulnerable position especially that I don't have any real or close friends just acquintances. I don't think that I can be truely succesful in a relationship. It is a fear of failure. Until I make peace with myself, I will be stuck in the same stage


----------



## gaz

I simply have the wrong personality for any woman to like me plus i'm not good looking. Life is wonderful!


----------



## Peter Attis

I'm lazy and don't have anything going on for myself :sigh


----------



## Elahe

I almost never go out and don't put enough effort into trying to meet someone online. I have neither looks nor confidence going for me so I'm pretty much screwed.


----------



## psofioskorios

Because Iam the most boring person in the planet.


----------



## AmericanZero

Because I'm too lazy to chase girls. I just don't have the energy anymore and I can't handle the stress that very often goes along with it. Too many mind games, too many "dating rules," and too many _standards _to try to live up to.


----------



## Winds

Because I understand that my SA is so crippling and severe, that it will prevent me from having and achieving some of the most common things in life.


----------



## missingno

Because I'm too far gone. No point in even trying I wouldn't know what to do in one and it wouldn't be fair to whatever girl I managed to get. That and being Forever Alone is serious business


----------



## upndownboi

cos I'm a ****wit who doesn't meet new ppl


----------



## Famous

Because I am Max Fail


----------



## Owl-99

Because a little phrase like " fear of rejection" keeps getting in the way.


----------



## Hadron92

I'm disillusioned with this whole crap. it's just a huge pain in the ***.


----------



## eppe

fear of rejection + find it difficult to cope with heartbreak


----------



## rymo

I've been in two relationships now, but both were mostly due to the fact that I feared I wouldn't be able to get anyone else. The second girl, although attractive and fun, was not someone I could see myself being with forever, despite the fact that I kept going back to her. It's been a month since the last time I saw her, and only in the past few weeks have I been perfectly fine with the whole being single situation. In the past few months I've been dating around a fair amount, and I've realized in that time that I have the ability to spread my wings a bit and really see what's out there instead of settling. So, I'm not in a relationship because I want to wait until I find someone really special. Until then, I will continue to date and have fun.


----------



## Invisiblehandicap

Because I can't handle the responsibility that comes with one. I can't even maintain a real life friendship anymore. I'm too addicted to avoiding things that give me anxiety.


----------



## lettersnumbers

Because I don't know how to behave in one.


----------



## scarpia

I have a cat.


----------



## Coexistence

My ex broke my heart and now I can't be bothered opening up to girls. She has to be crazy hot and sweet and nice if I'm even going to consider opening up. That might sound weird but my ex was perfection; for some reason I have to get her back or someone better, even though it will probaly break my heart again.

I foolishly agreed to meet up with my ex 2 days ago( because I 'thought' I was over her) and it was amazing... However she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me, and now I'm a complete mess once again.:|
There is this other girl who I'm seeing but I just can't put my mind to her.


----------



## Octal

I don't really meet new people these days.


----------



## cybernaut

Octal said:


> I don't really meet new people these days.


Simple answer right here. Never had a boyfriend before, but I can easily get one if I "tried" hard enough..had many guys hit on me these days. But I just don't expose myself out enough. It's also difficult for me to express myself and open myself up towards people, so I'm not sure how that'll work out in a relationship.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

I also don't get out enough, in order to meet women. I have a social circle, but it is very limited, and mostly includes women that are married or have boyfriends already. 

One girl I had my eye on, who is a friend, is now in a relationship. I just found that out a few days ago. I am happy for her, but frustrated that I now can't make a move.


----------



## Onesize Fitzpatrick

1) haven't really made any platonic friendships in the last year or so
2) Not really sure if I should even be dating somebody right now since I kinda need to un-**** my life first
3) Too goddamn ugly and awkward.


----------



## PeachyAlice

Because I was dumped two weeks ago


----------



## Peter Attis

I still wear Axe body spray, which apparently makes me a giant douchebag.


----------



## mezzoforte

I'm just so sexy, it's intimidating for most guys.

:lol


----------



## theCARS1979

River In The Mountain said:


> because I invest too much time in liking guys who either don't like me back or are completely emotionally screwed up.
> I am beginning to resign myself to the role of an ego booster.


wow your hot, why would you have a hard time? I dont understand it.


----------



## jmoop

scarpia said:


> I have a cat.


^ This.

I'm kidding. It's because I rejected the old men who tried to hit on me.


----------



## Bunyip

The only people I know are related to me. I find it hard to make friends, because everyone I've met so far wants to text. I suck at texting. I hate texting. >=| Another reason is that I have too many feelings of inadequacy, so I push people away.

I always think people have ulterior motives when they say they like me.


----------



## roseblood

I'm afraid to approach people, especially boys.


----------



## Vic Damone Jr

There's literally no point. With my mental state and where I'm at in life right now, it wouldn't be fair to anyone else to be in a relationship with me. They'd want to go out and do things and all I'd want to do is stay inside and surf the net or go on long walks for no reason at all. My sex drive is practically zero for all but a few days every month, so that doesn't motivate me in the least. From what I can tell, (most) relationships take a lot of effort to maintain, and I just don't have the energy or will anymore. Just getting out of bed is hard enough as it is, thanks very much.

All of this isn't even to include how inept I am at reading signals, so even if there were to be mutual interest in a relationship, nothing would ever materialize out of it because I would never have any idea to approach them in the first place. :lol

Funnily enough, rejection and heartbreak are two things that don't really worry me at all. I face rejection all the time, so that's no big deal to me anymore, and I doubt I could get attached enough to someone to be heartbroken over a failed relationship. My main goal is pretty much just to make everyone else happy, anyway, so even of they cheated on me, I'd just be happy for them that they're doing what they want. I guess I'm kind of blessed in that way.


----------



## ArcherZG

I always **** them up because I am always over thinking things. I can get girls to go on dates with me but I always mess it up somehow, and now I don't bother trying. I am not giving up completely, I just have a lot of other things I am trying to be better at and don't have time to commit to another relationship attempt.


----------



## Shauna The Dead

Can't find anyone worth a ****. And I kinda prefer being single.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Shauna The Dead said:


> Can't find anyone worth a ****. And I kinda prefer being single.


Same here.


----------



## srschirm

We are somewhat close to Shauna; she should give you a chance.


----------



## theintrovertedgirl

I just dont want to be with anybody, I just want to be by myself right now


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

srschirm said:


> We are somewhat close to Shauna; she should give you a chance.


That is really up to Shauna.


----------



## srschirm

WintersTale said:


> That is really up to Shauna.


Well she always complains about no good guys while there are plenty just on this board.


----------



## kosherpiggy

i just dont like them


----------



## Shauna The Dead

srschirm said:


> Well she always complains about no good guys while there are plenty just on this board.


Cincinnati is 3 hours(if not more) away, that isn't really close. If someone on here was like 30 minutes or an hour away I'd consider it, yes


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Because women play stupid games!


----------



## Shauna The Dead

Cause I never go to Cincinnati. Can't even remember the last time I was there, it's been years. Makes me nervous even thinking of driving up there...there's been some concerts up that way I'd like to see but panic when I think of driving up that way. And I live in the middle of nowhere, so not like anyones gonna come visit me.


----------



## gaz

1) I feel ugly
2) I feel boring
3) I am too busy doing things to distract me like hobbies
4) I am too busy exercising in an effort to not feel ugly
5) I have poor conversational skills
6) I have poor prospects
7) I don't put myself out there 
8) I fear heartbreak
9) I am a 31 on year old virgin
10) I enjoy my own company
11) I dislike the drama involved in relationships
12) I am too polite which = boring to a lot of people


----------



## gaz

ThatOneQuietGuy said:


> Because women play stupid games!


Yeah a lot of them play Nintendo DS!


----------



## gaz

srschirm said:


> Well she always complains about no good guys while there are plenty just on this board.


I don't think it's a good idea to date anyone on this board, what happens if it end in heartbreak? It's kind of the same dating a workmate; You break up then you have to face them everyday.


----------



## gaz

theintrovertedgirl said:


> I just dont want to be with anybody, I just want to be by myself right now


That's perfectly healthy attitude to have.


----------



## gaz

Peter Attis said:


> I still wear Axe body spray, which apparently makes me a giant douchebag.


It's called Lynx the UK....Interesting fact of the day!


----------



## WalkingDisaster

Not attractive enough.


----------



## srschirm

gaz said:


> I don't think it's a good idea to date anyone on this board, what happens if it end in heartbreak? It's kind of the same dating a workmate; You break up then you have to face them everyday.


You either don't care, or one of you stops going to the board. Not a big deal really.


----------



## srschirm

Shauna The Dead said:


> Cause I never go to Cincinnati. Can't even remember the last time I was there, it's been years. Makes me nervous even thinking of driving up there...there's been some concerts up that way I'd like to see but panic when I think of driving up that way. And I live in the middle of nowhere, so not like anyones gonna come visit me.


You are just making up excuses, I'm sorry.


----------



## Shauna The Dead

srschirm said:


> You are just making up excuses, I'm sorry.


No, I just think long distance relationships are pointless. You never see the person.
I've been in enough to know they dont work. And I always ended up being the one to go see the other person, which just doesnt work for me.

And like I said, I dont really want a relationship right now. I've been in 3 failed relationships in the past year, one right after the other. I need a break.


----------



## srschirm

Shauna The Dead said:


> No, I just think long distance relationships are pointless. You never see the person.
> I've been in enough to know they dont work. And I always ended up being the one to go see the other person, which just doesnt work for me.
> 
> And like I said, I dont really want a relationship right now. I've been in 3 failed relationships in the past year, one right after the other. I need a break.


I see. Maybe this is a good time to heal yourself. I hope you're ready to begin dating again soon.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

I just need to find someone around here.

Once I start lifting weights and working out, and lose this beer belly, I'll feel a lot better. It's already shrunk in the past few weeks.

However, I will have to wear braces for 3 years, starting this month, after my dental surgery. What was cute in your teens is not going to be cute as an adult. And I can't get the hidden ones, since I am having corrective surgery along with it.

I may meet a girl who doesn't care, but many will, and I understand why. Same as I understand why having dated little, and never having had a girlfriend or sex can be a red flag. I don't like it, but I can understand why they would assume all sorts of things. They would be wrong, unless they say "you had social anxiety!", but...yeah.


----------



## MobiusX

who said you have to be in one in the first place?


----------



## lanzman

because most expect 100% but feel they only need to give back 30%.


----------



## MrQuiet76

I'm not in a relationship because I am too scared to talk to any woman that I'm attracted to and also because women do not find me attractive but rather a safe "friend." Damn friend zone


----------



## dust3000

Issue 1: I am not interested in sex. Considering most guys are, that counts most of them out. 

Issue 2: I am still dependent on my parents. I do not want to go from depending on my parents to depending on a guy. I think I would like to get a job and some sort of confidence in myself first before I get a relationship.

Issue 3: I haven't met anyone I would like to hang out with. Probably because I stay at home and don't have any friends.

Issue 4: I think appearance wise I am flawed. Most people do not find women with lots of facial hair attractive. At least that's the impression I get.


----------



## Nipple

Because i'm a man and i'm average looking, women want only the best nowadays


----------



## gaz

Nipple said:


> Because i'm a man and i'm average looking, women want only the best nowadays


If that's you in the avatar wtf!? I'm no **** o'r anything but you are model material in regards to looks! I'm jealous


----------



## Chil

I'm too insecure
Boys my age are interested in one thing, hence why I have a strange attraction to much older blokes, who are normally married :/


----------



## Larkspur

I just got out of a relationship that ended badly. I'm not ready to trust anyone fully again yet.


----------



## AwkBoy

I have no social skills, am not good looking, and don't have a big dick lol


----------



## GroupHug

I'm a loser. I think that Groucho Marx quote sums it up best. Why would I want to even be with a girl who has such horrible taste in men? I don't want the type of girl who likes to "fix" guys, I need to learn to better myself first, then I could worry about getting in a relationship. 

Just not sure how long that will take or how much improvement I need until that happens...


----------



## XxArmyofOnexX

Low self esteem, boring, SA, blah blah blah.

Not ready yet basically. Trying to jump the gun on getting in a relationship would be like shooting myself in the foot. Twice.


----------



## TravisBickle

G girl said:


> What are some of the reasons you are not in a relationship right this moment?


My standards are very, very high. Possibly unattainable and unrealistic. I'm almost prepared to accept that I am going to be unmarried my life, though. Since I'm still young and in the age group of when everyone is seeking each other out, I still have a little bit of hope, but I've learned not to place too much. I might just enjoy single life more, though, as I'm very independent-minded.


----------



## BobbyByThePound

me give me heart to a woman?!
not for nothin, never happen I be forever mackin


----------



## Unexist

I'm pretty bad looking , I don't really have any friends, I don't ever go out , even I know I'm a boring person


----------



## crome

because relationships are not a socially anxious person's forté


----------



## lettersnumbers

I'm not in a relationship because i decided to stop looking for one and just let it happen when it happens, maybe it'll work out that way.


----------



## Evo

I'm too ugly. :|


----------



## Elixir

Cause I can't be arsed to date.:no


----------



## gaz

^me too lol, having to buy birthday presents, valentines, arguments, and the whole shabang seems more trouble than its worth


----------



## And1 ellis

I'm skinny and I know women don't like that. I don't ever dress up and I wear jeans and a hoodie pretty much all the time due to lack of confidence. I'm boring and I know I share very little in common with women so I wouldn't know what to talk about. I'm way to self concious to talk to a girl unless she talks to me first and only to ask me for something. I don't get out enough and I don't have many close friends so if I did have one I'm quite sure she would be bored of me with in a week because I don't do much. 

simples


----------



## Pkfast

1) I guess I'm not ready for a relationship, maybe never will be. I have a teenager's mentality, so I'm not a grown up at all.

2) I still live at my parent's home. So even if I had a girl, no way I can get any privacy at home. But I'm comfortable at home, don't have to pay bills or anything lol.

3) I'm too skinny. I never seem to bulk up and my gym trips seem wasted. I guess I'm not working out right.

4) SA. I have difficulties approaching strangers / meeting new people. I have alter motives when meeting women. I want to become more than friends with them and that never happens lol. I don't have any good local friends anymore so women probably think I'm a psycho and just leave me. 

5) I'm pretty boring. Video games and movies are my favorite hobbies and I never met a woman that is comfortable with just that.


----------



## lyric

Partially because I don't go places to meet people, and then I just can't find a cool dude.


----------



## RenegadeReloaded

i promised to myself i wouldn't get in relationships with girls that i'm not attracted too at all, i mean i wouldn't repeat my first 3 relationships; now i regret it, i was a fool, something is better than nothing, i'm more unhappy being lonely than with girl i don't like

it seems that the girls i like don't like me back, and i don't have high standards, not even medium ones


----------



## ben88

I'm incapable of talking to female humans.


----------



## brettfavre4life

Because I take everything so personal....each tiny set back just makes me more bitter.


----------



## Peter Attis

I've already lost.


----------



## TobeyJuarez

1. i only have a job during the summer
2. because i cant drive
3. i want a girlfriend but im scared at what that actually means...


----------



## Chicago Bulls

I was in a relationship for about 6 yrs and had two beautiful daughters. Then she went out and found someone else towards the end because I would never go anywhere. My SA picked up towards the end of the relationship and thats pretty much ended everything.
I'd like to find someone but its just to much for me right now. Maybe when I figure out a way to overcome my SA (that I dont know how the hell I picked up) then I will try and get in a relationship.


----------



## theCARS1979

Shauna The Dead said:


> Can't find anyone worth a ****. And I kinda prefer being single.


Your so pretty and beautiful and deserve someone good . Id ask for a chance but I am no where near Kentucky, even though I work for an airline. Message me back. Steve


----------



## pete24

Well cause my relationships barely been over a week. I have been in a few, which to be fair was mostly since I met them online and would use alcohol for confidence when we met up.

After a relationship ended, I would of course miss them but know deep down there were problems that made us incompatible and not work. Having SA I would feel the need to find another relationship and have more, better company. 

This time the worst part is knowing we ended based on distance and other circumstances that were mostly out of our control. Apart from that we were perfect. I know she was the 1 for me.

So now its over, even my SA isnt kicking in, cause there wouldnt be such thing of finding better company or someone who is better for me


----------



## River In The Mountain

Because relationships scare the **** out of me and I'm probably not relationship material anyway. I'd like to be, but right now I don't think I'm what one would call a good catch.


----------



## theCARS1979

River In The Mountain said:


> Because relationships scare the **** out of me and I'm probably not relationship material anyway. I'd like to be, but right now I don't think I'm what one would call a good catch.


Hey girl, hell yeah you are a great catch , your so pretty. Id go out with you for sure.:heart:wink If only you lived in the US close to New York. So dont put yourself down like that okay.
Steve


----------



## Earl of Lemongrab

Because of my condition, I'll never be able to accomplish any of the things that NTs are capable of, and that includes having a relationship. I'm going to be forever alone.


----------



## Milco

River In The Mountain said:


> Because relationships scare the **** out of me and I'm probably not relationship material anyway. I'd like to be, but right now I don't think I'm what one would call a good catch.


You should try to work on the things you think are lacking about yourself (as I'm sure you already are), but from what I can tell they aren't things that make you non-relationship material or a bad catch - You're one of the mostest awesomest people I've talked to in a long time.
But I can definitely understand why it's scary. It really scares me as well. And you start second guessing yourself constantly.


----------



## Jollygoggles

Because I'm too legitimate to quitimate.


----------



## little toaster

I find out after a while that the (hot) girls I meet are so fake.


----------



## mdiada

I just got out of one, and its kinda fun being single  doing my own thing on my own time with whomever I want. It's nice


----------



## Peter Attis

I'm more than content living vicariously through others.


----------



## Amorphousanomaly

No one makes me happy, I guess I'd rather be alone than be in another annoying relationship.


----------



## Kchloee

Just got out of a relationship, hurts, but it was much needed. Friends make the single life better (for me) and I have none but one... so I guess I'll work on making those first before I even think to get into another relationship


----------



## ravens

1. Being unemployed and broke.
2. Don't have a driver's license.
3. Living with my parents.


----------



## ShadyGFX

Because girls are cruel to me


----------



## pete24

I did post earlier but I was at a point of a breakup.... In reality theres a few reasons why I cant get a girlfriend now or the future (other than what I said with my ex being the best, so nobody could compare to her).

1. No Friends
2. SA means I cant exactly make friends
3. No friends means no nightclubs (on my own will look desperate). Even so the women in clubs are 99% the typical, slaggy, insecure, cheating types I wouldnt want. Also you dont know if a girl you are chatting up is taken, and when you find out she is its too easy to feel down 
4. Online dating has become way harder than ever. Met most of my gfs online. Had I look earlier, and its useless. Either I dont fancy them (wouldnt get with someone I dont fancy as I wont be happy and will end it soon after). Or they are ok, but many even spoke on their profiles saying "Iv had a lot of emails from guys, so still checking through them". If I message them its "read>deleted". Even with the 1's I dont fancy much.
5. I have very little to offer them in life. Low wage, usually got no cash, not many hobbies, no future plans so chances are they wouldnt stick around long anyway.

The future is bleak


----------



## aloneanddizzy

Because I'm:

1 - Not even remotely attractive
2 - Shy around women to the point of never making eye contact with or talking to anyone I could potentially find attractive
3 - Far too socially and sexually inexperienced for my age (see #4)
4 - Far too old for my lack of social and sexual experience (see #3)
5 - Not in good health
6 - Very limited ability to participate in outdoor and social activities (see #5)
7 - A recluse
8 - Pastimes/hobbies that are of little or no interest to women
9 - Not good father material (never was, but especially not now … see #1 thru #8 )


----------



## Vex

1. I find it hard to trust people for some reason...
2. Not good enough for most girls
3. Shy
4. SA


----------



## theseventhkey

I'm "undesirable".


----------



## TJenkins602

I'm a dangerous person to be around. (It seems like someone with bad motives is always seeking me out / targeting me, I'm either hiding or fighting).

Apparently, I am attractive

I could go out with a girl easily.


My only problem is that someone always has it in for me in the worst way. (I'm talking obsessed and fixated types. Everything is about hurting you in some way)


----------



## NightWingLikeABoss

Because women get bored of me way too easily.


----------



## General Specific

I only just broke up with my ex and I'm not ready to move on just yet.


----------



## Freiheit

1. Scared of parents (lives with them)
2. Doesn't get out enough
3. Not mature or mentally healthy enough
4. Too aloof and doesn't trust people


----------



## Matt21

1. I get nervous.
2. I make stupid moves.
3. I'm weird and awkward.
4. I stay inside most of the time.


----------



## Tori143

Hey paysage,
I completely identify with your second point about barely tolerating your friends. This is why I cannot imagine being in a relationship. My brother is out from sun up to sun down with his girlfriend and I am always amazed at his ability to be with her for so long. Even my best friends get me agitated or frustrated easily. I need my alone time on a daily basis and enjoy watching movies or tv and listening to music to relax. 

Thanks for your post...


----------



## shelbster18

Maybe because I don't go out much and I'm really awkward. I'd like to be in a relationship. Also, I'm starting to have trust issues because of the people I talk to online either show their true selves eventually or just forget about me.


----------



## JFmtl

because of lack of social skills, boring life, and last girlfriend dumped me like a piece of trash.


----------



## arkadashim619

1. because of low self-esteem
2. sas = not much friends
3. looking for considerate and loyal girl
4. social skills


----------



## Introversa

Because i don't feel pretty enough. No one i'm interested in is ever interested. I rarely go out. I have a hard time making eye contact and having normal conversations. i'm too awkward. i'm surrounded by racist pricks who would only date me to try something different (race-wise). i have gotten paranoid since the people i live with had my now ex bf followed by a p.i


----------



## ty44

I'm afraid of taking risks. When I'm here, thinking about the last year, it is so painfully obvious. I've got to the point of having one girl I liked lying on me for for an hour, talking only to me for hours, texting me for days, and even making out twice, and not once did I ask her out. I kept getting doubts that she would publicly say no, or that she would agree but grow tired of my simple and quiet lifestyle. When it comes down to it, I feel everything that can go wrong, will. Hopefully I can change.


----------



## iBlaze

Because I lack the ability to have a conversation like a normal human being.


----------



## lkkxm

Ape in space said:


> I'm a pathetic loser and no woman would want me.


^ This. Exactly This.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Too socially awkward.
Don't make enough money.
No self confidence.
No future ( I will probably end up homeless one day).
No one can love me because I don't love myself.
Not a happy go lucky outgoing person.
Nothing interesting about me.
No friends, or any social life whatsoever.
My shyness makes me come off as creepy.


----------



## XxArmyofOnexX

^ Get out of my brain! :lol

(Also, a major reason is I want to go out there and do stupid **** and just have fun for a while)


----------



## Equimanthorn

Last breakup totally destroyed me and I'm still getting to the point of fully healing those scars but not 100% yet. Also I finally was able to accept that the pattern of behaviors in my relationships is related to my SA and I certainly haven't figured out how to fix that yet so I feel to find someone new to date would just be asking for the same problems to happen for the millionth time. Just trying to enjoy being alone for a while...


----------



## bsd3355

Poster said:


> I'm afraid of taking risks. When I'm here, thinking about the last year, it is so painfully obvious. I've got to the point of having one girl I liked lying on me for for an hour, talking only to me for hours, texting me for days, and even making out twice, and not once did I ask her out. I kept getting doubts that she would publicly say no, or that she would agree but grow tired of my simple and quiet lifestyle. When it comes down to it, I feel everything that can go wrong, will. Hopefully I can change.


Sounds like you are smart enough to realize your mistakes. I would say to learn from them you need to experience those fears. Success will bring you confidence; rejection will make you test the weakest parts of your soul and help you learn from your mistakes.


----------



## Doomed

Because I suck.


----------



## pythonesque

Too socially awkward.

And then on those rare occasions where I manage to not be socially awkward, I somehow always convince myself that the guy is all wrong for me and end up running away.

Maybe one day I'll get desperate enough for a relationship that I will stop doing that.


----------



## Trigo

Girls I like don't like me. The end.


----------



## theseventhkey

Besides my being "undesirable, like put somewhere before, also deep down inside I know I could never "satisfy" a woman. It doesn't matter if I was rich, if I was good looking, if I was the totally package, I don't want to start something but women can't be satisfied. Knowing this fact keeps me from starting a relationship.:|


----------



## TJenkins602

A combination of being a free spirit and being in danger. (A lot of sick perverted freaks are seeking me out for some reason.)


----------



## AwkBoy

I'm not trying to board the self-pity train or anything, but no female is going to like me.


----------



## ineedtopunchsomeone

fgf


----------



## DMIND11

I recently was in a not official relationship, but we acted like if we were official. However, like two weeks ago she stopped talking to me all of a sudden. Now she doesn't text me unless I text her, and even then she just cuts me off. I get the feeling that she doesn't want me anymore but I realized that I may be better off being single for now. I have so many projects at this moment and I think I should focus on that instead.


----------



## Katelyn1236

Because no one likes me like that. 
Doesnt matter what I do- I dont think they ever will. 
If anything, I will always be the friend.


----------



## gaz

Because ;

I am a recluse
I have no clue how to have a conversation
I am not funny
I have limited interests other than my hobbies
I'm not into parties/bars/clubs etc
Generally suck at life


----------



## NoHeart

Oh no! I'm not in a relationship! The fabric of the universe is falling apart!!!

Who gives A ****... T__T

Life is too dam short and this planet is too damn gorgeous to be worrying about other humans are too goddamn similar to us all anyway, if you people can't control your libidos that much just pay off some hooker or whatever... god ...


----------



## TheShyOne17

Because I've never had that father-daughter relationship with my dad eventhough he lives with us. He is so strict.. His attitude has affected my self esteem and confidence..
I can't even talk to boys without feeling uncomfortable. I officially suck.


----------



## asw12345

because 95 percent of the time i will have an anxiety attack when i talk to a decent looking girl. even though i was voted most eligible at my prom i somehow always think i am not good enough for a girl and that no girl could like me


----------



## Barette

Cause I'm crazy but not goodlooking enough to balance it out. I need to be like a 10 to balance out my crazy and issues.


----------



## ravens

I'm living with my parents.
I can't move out because I'm taking care of my parents.
I'm unemployed and I can't get a job because I can't leave my parents alone.
I've always been too nervous to ask a woman out.


----------



## FlowerChild13

Guys never notice me and if they do, they just want to use me. Forever alone


----------



## asw12345

FlowerChild13 said:


> Guys never notice me and if they do, they just want to use me. Forever alone


but your beautiful and just be patient and you'll find someone who doesn't use you


----------



## Tania I

Because if a guy tell me he likes / loves me, it's not easy to believe him, and he will think it's too much hassle to convince me otherwise. (Doesn't matter if i'm the one who makes initiative or him).


----------



## AwkBoy

Why am I not in a relationship even though I'm in the middle of my high school career? Because I would **** it up somehow. Or they would leave me for someone better.


----------



## bsd3355

I have not taken enough action coupled with meeting the right person. But it will come


----------



## brettfavre4life

Because I have asked out one girl in the last 4 years and she kindly rejected me by saying she has a "rule" that she won't date anyone that she works with. She is now dating and engaged to a mutual co-worker of ours. Go figure.


----------



## Zeeshan

brettfavre4life said:


> Because I have asked out one girl in the last 4 years and she kindly rejected me by saying she has a "rule" that she won't date anyone that she works with. She is now dating and engaged to a mutual co-worker of ours. Go figure.


ouch


----------



## CommanderShepard

The only men who are interested in me are either twice my age or super skeezy and sexual and pushy and make me uncomfortable.


----------



## Blawnka

Nice guys finish last.


----------



## bittertaste

Because I have social anxiety.


----------



## srschirm

For the most part because I don't take initiative.


----------



## EternallyRestless

Blawnka said:


> Nice guys finish last.


Same with girls sometimes. It's like guys are afraid that they're gonna break a "good girl"


----------



## OutOfControlPanel

n/a


----------



## GunnyHighway

Because as I've been constantly told throughout my life, I'm not good enough...there's always somebody better than me


----------



## BenevolentSun

Because I'm a rare diamond that has yet to be dug up and discovered


----------



## nk2343

Always traveling, insecure, inexperienced, not confident


----------



## visualkeirockstar

No one wants a relationship with me.


----------



## Halcyon Daze

I don't know how. I look at is as I've been sparing people the pain.


----------



## aeonbluestar

Because I'm an ADD workaholic artist with social anxiety disorder. I can be a social butterfly when I'm in a group of people I know, and if you start talking to me I'll hold a deep, meaningful conversation with you for hours... but I just can't muster up that courage to ever be the first one to say hello. This goes with people I know too, aside from my small group of close friends.

Apparently I missed an opportunity with a girl recently who was really interested in me because I always waited for her to text me or call me first. This was kind of an eye opener for me, realizing that all of my relationships in the past were with girls who were persistent and outgoing.

So yeah, definitely because I'm not very good with the approach.


----------



## Ivan AG

brettfavre4life said:


> Because I have asked out one girl in the last 4 years and she kindly rejected me by saying she has a "rule" that she won't date anyone that she works with. She is now dating and engaged to a mutual co-worker of ours. Go figure.


I would have confronted her about it.


----------



## DenizenOfDespair

Mostly because I lack initiative, I've been single my entire life and I've grown used to it. My complacency is definitely something I need to work on.


----------



## In Search

I have low self estem plus i believe i am boring and i feel that the person who would like to hang out with me would be wasting their time and in the longrun i wouldn't want that person to wake years from now and realize that i just stole the best years of their life.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Because I avoid girls generally, and when I don't I get extremely nervous and panicky around them.


----------



## Alygat0r

I let him go after a year and a half of dating because I felt guilty about him having a girlfriend like me with all of my anxiety and depression. 

I honestly feel like I did him a favour by giving him an easy out and the opportunity to go and find someone better than me, someone more suited to what he deserves. 

He endured and stood by me through all of my bull****.. in the end, I just felt he deserved better. I felt like he should put all of the amazing qualities he has into a girl who is actually worth it. 

I know I am too emotionally unstable to be with anyone right now, but a selfish part of me wants him back so badly, even though I know its too late. :/

I still love and miss him very much. Not even 5 minutes goes by where I don't think of him and it's been 4 months since we've been broken up.


----------



## callalilly26

Because I'm defective and nobody wants me.


----------



## Krishnaa

Because I fear, if it wouldnt last. Flirting is something but I am looking for real love right now.


----------



## srschirm

Alygat0r said:


> I let him go after a year and a half of dating because I felt guilty about him having a girlfriend like me with all of my anxiety and depression.
> 
> I honestly feel like I did him a favour by giving him an easy out and the opportunity to go and find someone better than me, someone more suited to what he deserves.
> 
> He endured and stood by me through all of my bull****.. in the end, I just felt he deserved better. I felt like he should put all of the amazing qualities he has into a girl who is actually worth it.
> 
> I know I am too emotionally unstable to be with anyone right now, but a selfish part of me wants him back so badly, even though I know its too late. :/
> 
> I still love and miss him very much. Not even 5 minutes goes by where I don't think of him and it's been 4 months since we've been broken up.


Honestly that sounds like a cop-out.


----------



## srschirm

callalilly26 said:


> Because I'm defective and nobody wants me.


Oh blah, you're so not right...


----------



## brettfavre4life

Even if I did meet someone where there was mutual interest, I would probably find a reason to avoid it because I don't think I'm capable of dealing with things if they ended. I've been through a couple short term break ups and I took those harder than some people take their marriages breaking up. I think a long term relationship ending might kill me. I would rather never even make the playoffs than go to the Super Bowl and lose.


----------



## vanishingpt

I've never been in one so I guess part of it's not knowing how to act. And I've always been rather shy and reluctant to open up to people. Last time I liked someone, I didn't have the courage to tell him and the furthest I got was dropping obvious hints. I thought I was too socially inept and boring to have and maintain a relationship


----------



## visualkeirockstar

Alygat0r said:


> I let him go after a year and a half of dating because I felt guilty about him having a girlfriend like me with all of my anxiety and depression.
> 
> I honestly feel like I did him a favour by giving him an easy out and the opportunity to go and find someone better than me, someone more suited to what he deserves.
> 
> He endured and stood by me through all of my bull****.. in the end, I just felt he deserved better. I felt like he should put all of the amazing qualities he has into a girl who is actually worth it.
> 
> I know I am too emotionally unstable to be with anyone right now, but a selfish part of me wants him back so badly, even though I know its too late. :/
> 
> I still love and miss him very much. Not even 5 minutes goes by where I don't think of him and it's been 4 months since we've been broken up.


Example of an idiot.


----------



## Droidsteel

visualkeirockstar said:


> Example of an idiot.


Lol yeh women logic (joking)

Seriously though, 'he stood by me through it all, so I let him go, then never stopped thinking about him but didn't try to get back together??!'

:?


----------



## darkrider

Because I can't talk to a girl. It's that simple really. Too shy to approach.


----------



## Karuni

I'm not naturally attractive looking at all nor do I put effort into looking "feminine" by wearing makeup/flashy clothes. As a result, along with an apparently unfriendly neutral face, males don't acknowledge my existence. 
I can't do any approaching because I don't want to say hi/smile at a guy and get a "Eughh *cringeface* " from him in return.


----------



## srschirm

Karuni said:


> I'm not naturally attractive looking at all nor do I put effort into looking "feminine" by wearing makeup/flashy clothes. As a result, along with an apparently unfriendly neutral face, males don't acknowledge my existence.
> I can't do any approaching because I don't want to say hi/smile at a guy and get a "Eughh *cringeface* " from him in return.


Pshh you're probably just really self-conscious.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

Some women on here who say they're unattractive are drop dead gorgeous. I know of two senior posters who I can definitely say that for sure.

I guess how you feel on the inside reflects how you feel on the outside. I know I'm probably not ugly, or that damaged, but I feel that way most of the time, and don't even feel like trying.


----------



## srschirm

WintersTale said:


> Some women on here who say they're unattractive are drop dead gorgeous. I know of two senior posters who I can definitely say that for sure.
> 
> I guess how you feel on the inside reflects how you feel on the outside. I know I'm probably not ugly, or that damaged, but I feel that way most of the time, and don't even feel like trying.


This is true.

I often feel that way too, but overall I don't consider myself to be an ugly person. I fear that other people think that of me too. It's a major reason (if not the largest) I have SA.


----------



## adreana

because I cant handle them I cant handle someone coming into my world make or break I always give my partner so much of me and now that im in college things will be different for me but for a while there I couldn't even leave my house, so to have someone come into my world I don't really understand relationships either I was in 2 long term relationships 6 months and a year in a half the longer one was abusive and ever since than it was like im too ashamed I don't trust I get too clingy,and cmon lets face it issues are never attractive aha. so iim focusing on school and my future and hopefully mr.ill be there no matter what comes along and than I can have my fairytale ending lol


----------



## adreana

RelinquishedHell said:


> Too socially awkward.
> Don't make enough money.
> No self confidence.
> No future ( I will probably end up homeless one day).
> No one can love me because I don't love myself.
> Not a happy go lucky outgoing person.
> Nothing interesting about me.
> No friends, or any social life whatsoever.
> My shyness makes me come off as creepy.


awe you make me so sad  so im gunna attempt to turn that frown upside down!!!!(like the loser I am lol )
money and love don't go hand in hand if someone wont love you because your not rich than that person themselves isn't capable of love. 
we all have a future but mostly we have a choice, for me like I dunno but I got kicked out as a teenager and being homeless sucked! definitely made my social anxiety worse now im going to college to be a legal assistant so theres always hope. someone will love you yes but you do need to love yourself first which is hard because as humans we are so hard on ourselves. I know plenty of quiet people who end up married and such and im very outgoing and im always single lol. it sounds to me your really hard on yourself theres a quote I love it says....why do you take life so seriously its not like your getting out of it alive


----------



## YesImaMormon

Because I'm a 6'0 225 loser who is awkward, average looking, and completely ignored


----------



## Peme

Because I am shy as hell and would never make a move. Even if I did, there's no way I could compete with normies as long as I have all this anxiety. I am also very boring, and not terribly outgoing.

My attractiveness doesn't save me. I'm probably like, a 5-6/10


----------



## huh

Because of a combination of the following...


social anxiety issues
lack of confidence
depression
I'm short (for a guy, this is an issue)


----------



## Pompeii

Anderson Cooper bats for the other team.


----------



## mSerenity

Similar to what was quoted up there. I don't love myself, shy, lack confidence, afraid to try?


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

Cos I ain't find the right one yet


----------



## Grog

Been in some but .....
The whole commitment thing is a bit to hard to do 
If I ever find the right girl I think the commitment thing will be easy 
Hey baby want some non commitment ,doesn't really do it as a pick up,line does it. Ha ha 
One day


----------



## twitchy666

*Utter Hate*

Undefined

On some cruise to discover the reason from birth
My switch has become binary. There's no tree structure I've been exploring
I quite like the clarity of my situation
My efforts in articulate language needs to be closed.


----------



## DarrellLicht

I often feel demoralized and it seems Im not attracted to 80% of the population.


----------



## starsonfire

I have the kind of personality that is difficut to understand, shyness and anxiety tend to put people off. And it's hard to meet people. I have no friends. I barely go outside.


----------



## komorikun

Lack of trying and pickiness. I only go on a date maybe once a year. Just have trouble getting motivated to meet guys from dating sites. It really takes a lot out of me, what with all the preparation for the date, negotiating the place, and the worrying of how I will be judged (will they think I'm ugly/old/fat/boring?). 

Most of the ones that message me I don't find attractive. The very few that I do find attractive are obviously out of my league, so I'm sure if they met me they would either reject me off hand or just have sex once and then disappear. I'm kind of protecting my ego by not going on much of any dates.

I'm sure I could get a boyfriend if I was willing to date someone I had no attraction to. It would be nice to have company and someone to go places with but I just can't stomach kissing/having sex with someone I don't have the hots for.


----------



## komorikun

The other issue is that the guys I want to bang are not the ones I want to date.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

Not going to lie but most of you guys are depressing to read about....


----------



## Glass Child

Uhhh...


----------



## aquilla

Many reasons:

1.Can't be bothered to get to "looking for a boyfriend/partner/whatever - I just don't care that much
2.The ones who I find attractive are not interested in me
3.Too shy 
4.Knowing that I'll leave this city(and, very likely, this country - decided to apply for a position abroad. I need to change something about my life as it has come to a halt, like many times before, but now I have the courage to get out of this paralysing inertia) soon enough and there's no point in looking for a relationship.
5. I'm messed up, no normal, mentally stable guy would want me anyway


----------



## TicklemeRingo

I'm busy.


----------



## JohnWalnut

I've never asked any girls out and I don't know any girls whom I think wouldn't reject me anyway.


----------



## housebunny

It's because I'm so awesome no one can handle it.


----------



## Sacrieur

I'm in a serious relationship with my pillow.


----------



## Marakunda

Because I can't be in one, simple as that. Who I am, who I was in the past, and the people in my life have made sure that having a decent relationship with any person is impossible. My social anxiety just makes things that much harder.


----------



## Ntln

1. Don't want to compete with other guys like some sort of animal
2. Don't want to play the dating "game" (the whole "find someone you find attractive and ask her on a date" thing seems shallow to me)
3. Want to make friends with the girl before being in a relationship with her, but that's frowned upon and you get accused of having ulterior motives and are made to be the biggest a****** in the world
4. I'm ugly
5. I'm awkward as hell
6. I'd feel uncomfortable dating a girl that was very outgoing, due to my social problems
7. I'll never find anyone able to understand my social problems and I'll never find anyone with the same interests as me


----------



## nescio

The girls I like don't like me back and the girls that like me have a boyfriend already...


----------



## SeraphSoul

1) SA keeps me from being friendly & open, unlike those who don't have SA...
2) I guess I don't seem "easy?" I feel like I intimidate people. =(
3) I have strict parents
4) I don't know any guys well. x(
5) I don't relate to most people.


----------



## LowCountryTransplant

I'd like to think it's because I've taken some energy away from the chase, for lack of a better phrase, and put it towards figuring out and making the changes and improvements I know would go a long ways in making me a better person and partner.

Deep down inside I know it's because a cute girl with an awesome personality has yet to knock on my front door to ask if I would like to spoon her while catching up on my latest Netflix addiction. I mean what's the holdup? :/


----------



## rosecolored

I don't even get out enough to meet anyone. I don't think I'm ready to be in one either, for various reasons.


----------



## Tokztero

No friends
No job.
No money.


----------



## Eia Au

Don't think I'm good enough and my lack of confidence is unattractive


----------



## Nairamist

I don't have the desire to do so and never felt anything for anyone.

And also because I'm a loser socially speaking


----------



## Brandeezy

Not attractive enough
No friends
Still live at home
No car

The list goes on and on


----------



## TryingMara

No one wants me. I'm not attractive, and could never compete with the millions of pretty girls out there. Low self esteem and bad conversation skills. Overall, I don't have much going for me.


----------



## Greenleaf62

I just haven't been able to find the right guy yet. I haven't had a crush on anyone since the 5th grade and it's because I'm so picky when it comes to guys. At this point though I think I'd like to try to get my life together before I look for a boyfriend.


----------



## euphoria04

Because I don't like myself and don't want someone I like seeing all my flaws.


----------



## Putin

Just cuz


----------



## Valtron

I feel like I don't have time anymore. :? I'm so busy with studying ....but what am I to do, start dating after I graduate college? Sigh. I keep going back and forth about joining a college dating site.


----------



## theCARS1979

I wish i can find a younger girl with social anxiety, it maybe the only way to be understood


----------



## dal user

Because im ugly and retarded


----------



## jasiony

I don't want to complicate someone's life with my problems. I wouldn't necessarily say no if a girl showed interest, none have, but if they did I might be open to it. However, I feel I would just be no good for someone and I'm better off alone.


----------



## mdiada

simply put: i'm not good enough. something about me is weird and a turn-off. i don't know. today it really hit me that i will probably be alone forever, and i've cried so much about it that i don't think i can cry anymore. i'm tired of being lonely and alone, but obviously no one wants me, and to even attempt to find someone is futile since i'm sure it will only end in rejection. :|


----------



## MidnightBlu

Because I got out of a serious relationship in July and got into another in August and that failed as well and it takes time to find someone new again. Also, I'm not rushing by picking any guy and just dating him. I don't want to get hurt again.


----------



## Lain

I can't even have a friend


----------



## MillzMurray

because I am still searching, like Damien Marley.


----------



## Kalliber

Anxiety lol


----------



## thewaiting

I don't know how to talk to guys, I can barely make eye contact with them.


----------



## undercover latino

too afraid of rejection i guess, not meeting a single new female in the last 3 months, and even if i do, i react quite awkward when i notice their are coming on to me.


----------



## Evo1114

I think it's because I might suck at dating. And my anxiety makes me look like a creepy weirdo which scares pretty much every single girl away who I come across. I wish I could just not care anymore. Like never think about it ever again. Truth is though, I will never know the real reason because no woman in the history of the world has ever given an honest answer as to why they aren't interested in a dude.


----------



## wildinthestreets

These last few months in particular, the consensus is that everybody sucks—myself included.


----------



## pete24

Think I posted why ages ago but its become a huge thread so....

Because my SA reduces my chances.

No friends so I don't go out clubbing or anywhere. I go out in the week once, on my own and mostly to the pub for a few drinks to ease my SA. Theres never been really anyone to approach about. 10 years of putting myself in situations to cold approach, but it never happens = It probably wont ever happen from cold approaching.

Online is my only way to meet someone to have a relationship with, have had lots of success but at current its all dried up, nobody I really like on dating sites, and the women that have been messaging me are either too far away or are not my type :/


----------



## AmandaMarie87

Dating makes me too nervous.


----------



## Kalliber

For being shyyy


----------



## AK32

One I never seem to be attracted to the men that are available to me. Two my standards are probably way to high for the guys I am around to live up two. Three all the guys I have wanted have been unavailable. Lastly I think I'm afraid that I won't be good enough.


----------



## LoungeFly

AK32 said:


> One I never seem to be attracted to the men that are available to me. Two my standards are probably way to high for the guys I am around to live up two. Three all the guys I have wanted have been unavailable. Lastly I think I'm afraid that I won't be good enough.


lots of the same for me.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

AK32 said:


> One I never seem to be attracted to the men that are available to me. Two my standards are probably way to high for the guys I am around to live up two. Three all the guys I have wanted have been unavailable. Lastly I think I'm afraid that I won't be good enough.


Meets attractive guy who understands you and is actually single.

Then you think you're not good enough so you dump him and go back to your vicious cycle of anxious-ridden loneliness.

Seems legit. GG.


----------



## theCARS1979

Screw it


----------



## sas111

Relationships are a thing for pretty people


----------



## Pike Queen

I guess because I can't find anyone with similar interests to mine that I think would be right for me. That, and I'm extremely shy. I'm in no rush though.


----------



## Lonelyguy

Same reason I've never been in a relationship: nobody wants me.


----------



## theCARS1979

I dont know if women find me attractive, I guess some do. None act as if they do and I dont try hard enough


----------



## visualkeirockstar

I'm not meant to be.


----------



## copper

In the 20's too busy going to school and working. Then moving to a place that just consist of bar fly women. Since I don't do the bar scene and never really spend much time outside of working it is impossible to hook up. Never tried the online stuff. Too scary. You can't trust who you are interacting with. Too many Psychos. I am in the 40's now and don't expect it to happen. No one would want me anyways. I am damaged goods.


----------



## mike91

have not tried I guess but I work 7 days a week so dont have time my girlfriend is my car it takes all my money I have been told I should get one but I dont see me getting one ever but meh there lots of carsbi want so I just need them to keep my mind off them


----------



## MCHB

Because nobody wants to date a scarred up, bearded and battered welder! 

Well, that and I haven't exactly tried to find somebody new...so there is that detail. Plus there's the whole Aspergers and anxiety thing, but we won't talk about that! :roll


----------



## The Sleeping Dragon

I don't get to know new people. I'm always in the same bubble, so to speak. I fear and loath dating sites. But than again maybe I should try it since at this rate it's pretty easy to see the future.

I'm just a very negative person with low - or none whatsoever - selfesteem. That alone is enough to make me undesireable. I'm probebly not that hidious or uninteresting. I know I can even make people laugh, even though I do it on accident a lot, so that doesn't really help since that makes me more anxious about that particular trait.

Anyway I clicked on this topic because the answer to the question in the title is pretty obvious, or is that just me?


* *




social anxiety


----------



## CWe

Because i have anxiety so bad that i can't leave my home


----------



## Bawsome

Im scared of girls


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

My god you guys are depressing to be around


----------



## Bawsome

TheDarkGuardian said:


> My god you guys are depressing to be around


I never said i wasn't doing anything about it!!!

Its been scary and fun


----------



## inerameia

I'm socially inept


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

Bawsome said:


> I never said i wasn't doing anything about it!!!
> 
> Its been scary and fun


At least you're trying, some of the posts just seem so negative.



likeaspacemonkey said:


> That post and that signature don't seem mix very well.


Yeah yeah, I've had a bad week and reading this adds onto the buzzkill I've been having.


----------



## appleORorange

G girl said:


> What are some of the reasons you are not in a relationship right this moment?


Women dont want to choose me for sex.... (nice and basic for you).


----------



## theCARS1979

thewaiting said:


> I don't know how to talk to guys, I can barely make eye contact with them.


Im a guy and I cant talk to girls either, Im bad at it. Any advice you can give me as of now? We arent all alike though , I can tell you that. We arent all jerks and dont all want the same thing


----------



## theCARS1979

EastWinds said:


> Because I understand that my SA is so crippling and severe, that it will prevent me from having and achieving some of the most common things in life.


Did you try a therapist bro, I understand i ll tell you that. Im still trying for a relationship or even a girlfriend hangout but Sa is so debilitating


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

theCARS1979 said:


> Im a guy and I cant talk to girls either, Im bad at it. Any advice you can give me as of now? We arent all alike though , I can tell you that. We arent all jerks and dont all want the same thing


Remeber, they're just as human as you. They've made their fair share of errors and screwups, just like you. They've had their problems in life, though not the same but they still have problems, just like you.

Once you put people in this mindset you can talk to anyone, I can strike up a conversation with anyone and those who aren't stuck up are the ones worth maintaining a conversation with.


----------



## Winds

theCARS1979 said:


> Did you try a therapist bro, I understand i ll tell you that. Im still trying for a relationship or even a girlfriend hangout but Sa is so debilitating


Nah, I just slowly begin to realize that I was trying so hard to fit into the traditional narrative, while blaming anxiety for me being unable to do so, that I never really took the time out to ask myself what I truly wanted in life. My post you quoted highlights that very problem. So fixated on what society sets as the standard or common, while ignoring my own beliefs. Recognizing that was a very important first step I had to make, not just in an attempt to build good relationships with people, but also for improving my anxiety and personal code in general. With that said, I probably should still seek one.


----------



## Alone75

Because:

I don't have my own place
I don't have a nice, fast, cool car so no women will approach me to get my number
I am not that good looking
I have SA
I am unemployed again
I have no passions in life
I don't have much money and can't afford to go anywhere 
I have no experience beyond kissing
I am unusually socially retarded from years of avoidance and isolation

Those are my excuses for now.


----------



## Beingofglass

I'm not trying hard enough. It's that simple.

Oh, and there's very few girls on the dating sites too, I get some dates.. But only women looking for hookups.

And I'm just not savvy enough for hookups.


----------



## theCARS1979

TheDarkGuardian said:


> Remeber, they're just as human as you. They've made their fair share of errors and screwups, just like you. They've had their problems in life, though not the same but they still have problems, just like you.
> 
> Once you put people in this mindset you can talk to anyone, I can strike up a conversation with anyone and those who aren't stuck up are the ones worth maintaining a conversation with.


Your probably right, I have to try that more often than usual


----------



## gunner21

Penis too big. Might kill someone.


----------



## SambaBus

There are too many reasons to list.


----------



## MrSokols

really? i can really think of one - i'm scared


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

cafune said:


> - trust, avoidance, vulnerability issues (kinda emotionally unavailable)
> - too love-shy
> - too insecure to think anyone I may love could ever love me that way in return (it's inconceivable)
> - too unprepared to have someone shatter my rosy perception of the beauty of relationships (or to accept the very real possibility of the lack of existence of what I want--or think I want)
> 
> *tl;dr : just too much crazy for anyone to handle*


You sound exactly the girl I tried to last date.


----------



## visualkeirockstar

Avoidance. Even though i want one. I'm screwing myself up


----------



## h00dz

gunner21 said:


> Penis too big. Might kill someone.


****ing lulz.

Unfortunately for me, its because I live in losersville :|


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

h00dz said:


> ****ing lulz.
> 
> Unfortunately for me, its because I live in losersville :|


Time to get out of Loserville then you ****.



gunner21 said:


> Penis too big. Might kill someone.


Congratulations. You have been summoned to fight in representation of Earthrealm in the next Mortal Kombat tournament. Your giant penis shall be your unique weapon in combat against ghosts, demons and robots of the outworld. I shall name you Cocklord. The Defender of Humanity. You will fight alongside Liu Kang, Ryu and Sonya.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

visualkeirockstar said:


> Avoidance. Even though i want one. I'm screwing myself up


Yeah you are.

Stop avoiding people then.

Simple.


----------



## visualkeirockstar

TheDarkGuardian said:


> Yeah you are.
> 
> Stop avoiding people then.
> 
> Simple.


I'm not special to anyone so whays the point?


----------



## euphoria04

-ugly
-avoidant personality
-emotionally distant
-self-destructive

I actually wouldn't get in a relationship even if I had the opportunity to, because it would be selfish and unfair to the other person


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

visualkeirockstar said:


> I'm not special to anyone so whays the point?


Ha! You're special. Everyone's special. That's what makes us all unique. But if we're all unique we're the same. See the logic?

Everyone is special. And the same at the same time.

C'mon, hit me with more negatives. I can boost your ego till you're happy with life.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

euphoria04 said:


> -ugly
> -avoidant personality
> -emotionally distant
> -self-destructive
> 
> I actually wouldn't get in a relationship even if I had the opportunity to, because it would be selfish and unfair to the other person


Let's work on that and make yourself appreciate who you are and become happy with life!


----------



## euphoria04

TheDarkGuardian said:


> Let's work on that and make yourself appreciate who you are and become happy with life!


Let me know when you discover the cure for ugliness!


----------



## visualkeirockstar

TheDarkGuardian said:


> Ha! You're special. Everyone's special. That's what makes us all unique. But if we're all unique we're the same. See the logic?
> 
> Everyone is special. And the same at the same time.
> 
> C'mon, hit me with more negatives. I can boost your ego till you're happy with life.


You kill it.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

euphoria04 said:


> Let me know when you discover the cure for ugliness!


I'm ugly too and my confidence has gotten even the hottest girls to talk to me and some of them I even play with.

Cure found?



visualkeirockstar said:


> You kill it.


Ha, playing the negative nancy ain't gonna score you any points with the ladies bob.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

I guess because I don't try hard enough. I dunno?


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

DeeperUnderstanding said:


> I guess because I don't try hard enough. I dunno?


You know they say that when you're happy with life and are single and out and about you'll unexpectedly meet the girl of your dreams.


----------



## euphoria04

TheDarkGuardian said:


> I'm ugly too and my confidence has gotten even the hottest girls to talk to me and some of them I even play with.
> 
> Cure found?


For you it sounds like, good for you man

maybe if I find my confidence I can do the same


----------



## buklti

I'm happier being single. Being in a relationship makes me miserable, resentful, and overall worse off. And it's not the woman's fault, its most likely mine. Maybe when i'm in my 40s or 50s, granted I live that long, I might be able to handle it.


----------



## Amocholes

Because I do not want or need one. At this stage in my life, I am happy to be by myself.


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

TheDarkGuardian said:


> You know they say that when you're happy with life and are single and out and about you'll unexpectedly meet the girl of your dreams.


I hope that is true.


----------



## visualkeirockstar

TheDarkGuardian said:


> I'm ugly too and my confidence has gotten even the hottest girls to talk to me and some of them I even play with.
> 
> Cure found?
> 
> Ha, playing the negative nancy ain't gonna score you any points with the ladies bob.


My name ain't bob.


----------



## ravens

Never tried to get a girlfriend. Always too nervous to talk to girls and didn't think I was that attractive anyway.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

visualkeirockstar said:


> My name ain't bob.


Sorry.

Barry?


----------



## NicoShy

Too insecure to make it last


----------



## Mindful Eyes

My body language betrays me. I automatically avoid eye contact with any unfamiliar woman, even when she's attractive. And if I manage to make eye contact with her, I would neither smile nor wave hello unless she does it first. Thus, I'm responsible for not having a girlfriend.


----------



## Parsnip

I've always rejected everyone who has ever been interested in me even when I could imagine a perfectly lovely partnership with them, and now no-one is interested so there's no one to reject.

Plus I will always find a million reasons why the relationship would be a bad idea, or convince myself that they do not really mean a relationship-relationship, or any number of things which convince me to reject someone/never even try to find a partner.

Happy times.


----------



## Mousy

Because I don't try to. Idk I've ignored anyone that has tried talking to me like that.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

cafune said:


> I guess we all see how that turned out then. ಢ_ಥ


What type of face is that?

And yes I spend nights just facepalming thinking 'how the hell can someone live like that?!'



Parsnip said:


> I've always rejected everyone who has ever been interested in me even when I could imagine a perfectly lovely partnership with them, and now no-one is interested so there's no one to reject.
> 
> Plus I will always find a million reasons why the relationship would be a bad idea, or convince myself that they do not really mean a relationship-relationship, or any number of things which convince me to reject someone/never even try to find a partner.
> 
> Happy times.


You sound just like the girl I tried to date I can't even wajkhsjdhalkhsalfjhdsfhlakjsdgjkhgkjdfkjandfk kljdafn kjlnadsfjnlksjadnfljlkdf ajksfdnj

YOU ANXIOUS GIRLS KILL ME



likeaspacemonkey said:


> Look, a totally get your approach: people don't get better unless they decide to get better, and just whining doesn't get you anywhere. But what I said is hardly as much a buzzkill as the post I refered to.
> 
> And creepy sexual fetishes of course. Of course.


Nah man it wasn't just your post, it was like the combination of 20 of those similar posts that made me go wow.


----------



## Parsnip

TheDarkGuardian said:


> You sound just like the girl I tried to date I can't even wajkhsjdhalkhsalfjhdsfhlakjsdgjkhgkjdfkjandfk kljdafn kjlnadsfjnlksjadnfljlkdf ajksfdnj
> 
> YOU ANXIOUS GIRLS KILL ME


At least we'll always win medals for being some of the most exasperating and frustrating individuals to try and date.

Winning, SAD style.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

cafune said:


> lol, it's a distraught face, signified by the unusual placement of the eyes (one's nearly looking at the back of its head) and the lines (streams/tears).
> 
> Huh? Do you mean, how can anyone live in such a state of insecurity? Or, how could I (as in, you) have tolerated that?


The former. How anyone can live in such a state of insecurity. I really have strong feelings for this girl and still do even though she's so avoidant.

I could put all my eggs in her basket but in the off-chance that I stay with her only for her to run into another man's life would be too frustrating so I've decided to keep her in the backburner for a while, friendzone her while I seek other girls and have fun.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

cafune said:


> Oh, okay. Thanks for clarifying and good luck with her
> 
> And, speaking for myself, I accept that I'm not relationship material and focus my attention elsewhere so it's not much of a concern. Sure, I can feel desperately lonely but it passes eventually. But I kind of hope I can fix myself and mindset eventually because even thinking about this makes me sad and I don't want to live this way forever.


Not meaning to offend but does that mean you tend to have friends with benefits? Or one night stands?


----------



## pinkkeith

The ones I have been in have been abusive. I'm not in one because I'm too afraid I will be abused again.


----------



## always starting over

1. Hate small talk
2. My place is disgustingly messy
3. I can't tell when girls like me

Those are what come to mind when I'm completely honest with myself about it.


----------



## gunner21

Parsnip said:


> I've always rejected everyone who has ever been interested in me even when I could imagine a perfectly lovely partnership with them, and now no-one is interested so there's no one to reject.
> 
> Plus I will always find a million reasons why the relationship would be a bad idea, or convince myself that they do not really mean a relationship-relationship, or any number of things which convince me to reject someone/never even try to find a partner.
> 
> Happy times.


I know a girl like this and all I keep thinking is whyyyyyy???


----------



## jessabones

Because I don't want to be.
I'm not fond of answering to people about what I did all day when I get home.

Besides, no one ever really LIKES me, likes me.


----------



## Parsnip

gunner21 said:


> I know a girl like this and all I keep thinking is whyyyyyy???


The logical answer is of course that by finding new and inventive ways to reject the idea of entering into a relationship with someone we actually wouldn't mind being in a relationship with then we somehow prevent our skies from falling onto our heads. We avoid all the scenarios we've cooked up in our heads, and the other party will never regret hitching themselves up to someone whose thought patterns resemble a warren of negativity.


----------



## Cam1

I've been strangely uninterested in being in a relationship lately. Probably because the past few months I've actually put some effort into dating, and have had only bad experiences. For now I'm actually pretty content. Part of the reason might be due to the fact that I'm moving in 2 months and don't want anything that could potentially hold me back.


----------



## vinylman

because i can't approach anyone, let alone a woman. it's for the best though cause i have too many issues that no woman would tolerate. i'm a nice guy, that's about all i have going for me, everything else is a train wreck.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

cafune said:


> lol, that's not offensive.
> 
> Casual sex would be ideal, in theory, but I'm not sure of the nature and strength of my sexuality (rarely am I so purely physically attracted to someone that it manifests itself as lust; my desire is so heavily dependent on / fuelled by how intriguing I find their personality, but unfortunately, if that requirement were satisfied, then acting on that interest would put me in a vulnerable/bad position because I'd desperately want something more). I'd also need a few drinks to be comfortable and uninhibited with the situation, so no, casual sex isn't really my thing either. :<
> 
> /long-windedexplanation;sry


No need to apologise. Thanks for explaining , it's helped me understand alot now about my situation. Thanks again.


----------



## Martimnp

Because my crush is dating one of my best friends.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

cafune said:


> Hey, no problemo.
> 
> Just wanna add that my response should be taken with MANY grains of salt if you want to apply it to the girl you'd like to date because she and I aren't necessarily identical in any way (apart from shared insecurities; besides, people respond to even the same set of stimuli / initial conditions differently, too). Unless you ask her what's going on inside her head, there's no way you can truly know what her angle is concerning relationships, casual sex, etc.


Yeah that's true. I've moved on but it's nice having closure or what I think is closure.



Martimnp said:


> Because my crush is dating one of my best friends.


Ouch.


----------



## gunner21

Because the one I was interested in just got back with her ex.


----------



## Martimnp

TheDarkGuardian said:


> Yeah that's true. I've moved on but it's nice having closure or what I think is closure.
> 
> Ouch.


Yeah. I'm just trying to be good friends with her now.


----------



## farfegnugen

Girls are evil? 

I see myself as too much of a mess to be able
to treat someone the way they should be. I keep
believing things will change, but I might be fooling
myself.


----------



## dal user

Well im 21 and I've never been in one before so its never gonna happen now. The other reason is because I wont speak to people out of fear of rejection, oh also theres the fact that im really ugly to take into consideration.


----------



## euphoria04

Rich91 said:


> Well im 21 and I've never been in one before so its never gonna happen now. The other reason is because I wont speak to people out of fear of rejection, oh also theres the fact that im really ugly to take into consideration.


I'm in the exact same boat right down to the same age.

Not sure why you're giving up though, I feel like I'm just getting started and have put my life on hold for too long.


----------



## dal user

euphoria04 said:


> I'm in the exact same boat right down to the same age.
> 
> Not sure why you're giving up though, I feel like I'm just getting started and have put my life on hold for too long.


Cos theres no point now. Girls would just run away from me if they found im still inexperienced. It gives off the creepy loner vibe and besides that I wont ever get a girl because of how grotesquely ugly I am. I also am mentally retarded too so its never going to happen.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

ONe big thing that I noticed is a turn off in girls is that if you're always down about yourself and have such a pessimistic view, heck even that's a turn off for guys too.


----------



## kursedlife

Every woman I'm attracted to is attracted to someone else.


----------



## roxie2519

I need to figure out myself and better my life ,before getting into a relationship . Being in a relationship can be toxic, if you come across the wrong person ..


----------



## ThatGuy11200

Because I've been dumped.


----------



## visualkeirockstar

I'm skinny. Weak and poor.


----------



## Lazarusx

I think my life is too chaotic for women to want to enter a relationship with me. I come across as more of a short-term fling then relationship material.. which is fun for a while, but i really miss the intimacy of a relationship.


----------



## Elad

Elad said:


> Feelings of inadequacy which seep into everything about me. I become unbearable and have stints of social retardation.


from 5/24/2012 in this thread and it still holds true.

I think I'm just not stable enough in any aspect of my life to be something to someone and have it last. I'm too up, I'm too down and generally all over the place; I can't expect anyone to stick around and deal with that. I don't think I would want to either.


----------



## tea111red

i'm too defective.


----------



## DarrellLicht

I forgot to add, I don't wanna be treated like a f***ing chump!


----------



## LyingEyes

I just haven't met someone where there's mutual attraction yet.


----------



## A name

I don't really know any girls lol.


----------



## trendyfool

I'm insecure about myself, very sensitive to rejection and criticism, and sad much of the time. 

That doesn't seem to stop me from trying to be in relationships though. Which I don't know is a good or a bad thing.


----------



## Putin

Chicks just don't dig me.


----------



## minimized

minimized said:


> Lol who's going to want to be in a relationship with me?


Lol again I ask the same question.


----------



## mcmuffinme

Because I'm a loser. So, when should we schedule our second date?


----------



## Kalliber

Too sexy :<


----------



## Plopperton

I hardly approach girls. The times I am approached I get caught way off guard :S


----------



## Malek

Plopperton said:


> I hardly approach girls. The times I am approached I get caught way off guard :S


Likewise, I'm too inexperienced and shy. In order for me to find a girlfriend, she would most likely have to find me... Since that rarely happens in this world,and even less likely to happen to me, I suppose I'll just learn to be content being alone and never experiencing love. In this sense, I should count my blessings, the most predominant one being that I don't really know what I'm missing out on, heh.

From what other people tell me at work, they don't understand why I'm single, they don't know about my SA. My shyness when it comes to interacting with women I deem attractive. I'm relatively liked at work, no enemies, I wouldn't say I'm popular but according to my brother, everyone there appreciates my existence. I've been called good looking, hilarious, intelligent, wise, caring, kindhearted, dependable, respectful. Doubt many of these compliments are true, talk is cheap, I often ponder what my acquaintances really think

Sigh...

I don't know...

Why should I care anymore? All the girls I'd consider dating are out of reach, they are already taken or unavailable, such is my luck. I don't need love to live or rather exist, yes I desire it but that is because I am a hopeless fool. I should focus on exercising more, school, work. These are more important endeavors in my opinion. I'm not very young at all, and yet I feel younger than some immature teenagers that go in and out of relationships like nothing? Why? It's so fallacious and absurd. I'm sick and tired of feeling inadequate for no reason. Meh. Fix myself?

I've been doing this for years, it's come to the point I see people in my life who are worse off than me finding love, I can't but feel bitter envy at their luck. It's easy for people to tell me to have patience, you'll meet someone eventually, no they are wrong... Even if I did, my SA would prevent me from approaching her and ever confiding my feelings and she will eventually choose to be with someone else, this has happened more times than I can remember. Yes it was my fault most of the time, yet a few instances, it was them who asked out other guys, my friends, and I can't help but question why? They didn't even show you as much respect, and I could make you laugh more, so what was it? Did they think that I was out of "their" league? Call me pretentious but I was even more attractive, some of you even said so, were they lying out of pity?

I don't hate them for it, not anymore, it's my fault mainly. I mainly hate myself for letting something trivial like this affect my self esteem in such a way. I want to channel my frustration and anger into energy doing something more productive than wallowing in self pity. Work, escapism, sleep, repeat. This is my life, my humble existence, I drift through life and the days are going by fast, one day I will eventually wake up an old lonely man, I myself still have vivid recollections of my childhood, if only I took so many risks back then, I wouldn't be in the isolated position I am suffering in now. I should take this as a lesson and just push myself out of my comfort zone.

Why am I not in a relationship? I've always over analyzed everything and have to think things through, to the point the opportunity passes and it's too late. All that speculation or weighing the pros or cons, my chances, is it worth the embarrassment, ect. It has held me back. My mind is my own worst enemy, my body is a cage.

I suppose there's hope if I learned to trust people more, so I'll focus on that...


----------



## Mousy

Malek has a beautiful way with words.


----------



## SilentLyric

lack of common interests, not having many exciting interests myself, overall, a rather boring person.


----------



## eveningbat

I am weird.


----------



## ricejabroni

Cause I'm quiet and shy and girls hate guys like me.


----------



## Wanderman

Well, since the girl I like friendzoned me, I am just not interested in relationships anymore.

Apparantly I'm not good enough to get what I want, but I certainly won't settle for anyone else.
Not that I did'nt try, but that relationship only lasted 3 weeks, mainly because I still could'nt get my mind off the other girl.

Single for life by choice, unless a miracle happens and she actually turns around.
But we all know that won't happen.


----------



## CityLights89

Because I'm picky, unreadable and don't know how to flirt.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

-I'm too shy and don't know how to talk to girls.

-I'm a creepy quiet freak.

-I have no confidence.

-I'm depressed.

-I have no friends.

-I'm very poor and barely managing to survive, so I don't even really have the money to go out and date.

-My future looks incredibly grim and hopeless and I will most likely live at the bottom of society for the rest of my life.

-I don't want to risk liking a girl and then having "Mr. dreamy" swoop in and steal her from me.


----------



## TobeyJuarez

seems like the only girls who flirt with me already have bfs and just get a kick out of getting my hopes up... **** my life


----------



## dal user

I have issues and you can tell there is something wrong with me by looking at me. Im quite sure I have aspergers or something. 

Somebody asked me the other day if I have got a gf just out of general conversation really and if I was looking, I just told them what I thought and just said im not compatible or good enough for any girl which im not. I have no self esteem or confidence and im horribly ugly, I've been told I look inbred by quite a few people so yeah thats enough to warrant that im a 1/10 at best. 

In this game you've gotta have at least one or two of these things to get a girl:

1. Good looks. At least a 7, any lower than that then boy count yourself lucky if you get a girl if your below a 7.

2. Status. You need high status especially cos we're males, you need friends and need to know a hell of a lot of people for a girl to even consider you. Although this can be a good thing but bad at the same time as she may get off with one of your friends.

3. Good job and money. This is a must. How is a girl gonna take you seriously if you are in a dead end job with barely any money. You need to be in a job that pays at least more than 20k+ a year and can give you a career.

4. Surroundings. Where you live plays a part in whether or not the girl will want to see you again. If you live in a rented property or a deprived area, its game over tbh. Why would she want to get involved with a guy who lives in a deprived area?

5. Confidence/Self esteem. This is important, especially with us being males. You have to look after your woman, if you have no confidence or self esteem then chances are another guy will just take your woman off you and make her his and nothing will be done about if a guy has no confidence or self esteem. In the relationship a man is supposed to be the dominant one, the one who speaks up and deals with situations.


----------



## hughjames95

Because im socially awkward and thus i make people feel uncomfortable.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

Rich91 said:


> I have issues and you can tell there is something wrong with me by looking at me. Im quite sure I have aspergers or something.
> 
> Somebody asked me the other day if I have got a gf just out of general conversation really and if I was looking, I just told them what I thought and just said im not compatible or good enough for any girl which im not. I have no self esteem or confidence and im horribly ugly, I've been told I look inbred by quite a few people so yeah thats enough to warrant that im a 1/10 at best.
> 
> In this game you've gotta have at least one or two of these things to get a girl:
> 
> 1. Good looks. At least a 7, any lower than that then boy count yourself lucky if you get a girl if your below a 7.
> 
> 2. Status. You need high status especially cos we're males, you need friends and need to know a hell of a lot of people for a girl to even consider you. Although this can be a good thing but bad at the same time as she may get off with one of your friends.
> 
> 3. Good job and money. This is a must. How is a girl gonna take you seriously if you are in a dead end job with barely any money. You need to be in a job that pays at least more than 20k+ a year and can give you a career.
> 
> 4. Surroundings. Where you live plays a part in whether or not the girl will want to see you again. If you live in a rented property or a deprived area, its game over tbh. Why would she want to get involved with a guy who lives in a deprived area?
> 
> 5. Confidence/Self esteem. This is important, especially with us being males. You have to look after your woman, if you have no confidence or self esteem then chances are another guy will just take your woman off you and make her his and nothing will be done about if a guy has no confidence or self esteem. In the relationship a man is supposed to be the dominant one, the one who speaks up and deals with situations.


One of my friends is ugly and fat, has barely any money but does have a lot of self esteem/confidence - and he has a really hot girlfriend. But then again he comes from a rich household, but even then he doesn't make much money himself. So eh...


----------



## nothing else

I have difficulty connecting with people on a deeper level because I'm not outgoing, and really quiet. I usually don't stand out to girls and most just aren't interested.


----------



## dal user

TheDarkGuardian said:


> One of my friends is ugly and fat, has barely any money but does have a lot of self esteem/confidence - and he has a really hot girlfriend. But then again he comes from a rich household, but even then he doesn't make much money himself. So eh...


His girlfriend is most likely a gold digger then

you haven't really proved me wrong either. Im fed up of hearing about 'I know so and so who is ugly but has a hot girlfriend' due to being confident blah blah blah. Its all about looks at the end of the day, confidence and other things are just an added bonus.


----------



## Crisigv

Because i'm ugly, shy and live a boring life. I think i'm too scared for a relationship, I would never be able to live up to the other person's expectations of a girlfriend.


----------



## nothing else

Rich91 said:


> His girlfriend is most likely a gold digger then
> 
> you haven't really proved me wrong either. Im fed up of hearing about 'I know so and so who is ugly but has a hot girlfriend' due to being confident blah blah blah. Its all about looks at the end of the day, confidence and other things are just an added bonus.


I used to think the same way. I've never dated because I'm very ugly and I used to always blame it on this. However I think an average looking outgoing guy will have much better chances than an extremely built good looking guy with extreme social anxiety.

Girls tend to like louder, outgoing guys.


----------



## dal user

nothing else said:


> I used to think the same way. I've never dated because I'm very ugly and I used to always blame it on this. However I think an average looking outgoing guy will have much better chances than an extremely built good looking guy with extreme social anxiety.
> 
> Girls tend to like louder, outgoing guys.


Maybe

im not even average though, I look grotesque and people have said I look retarded or inbred.


----------



## Mousy

Rich91 said:


> Maybe
> 
> im not even average though, I look grotesque and people have said I look retarded or inbred.


Omg you're not ugly ok. Maybe it's the way you carry yourself and your attitude that makes you "unattractive."


----------



## DeeperUnderstanding

I regret turning down a girl once. She obviously liked me, a lot, and I just didn't like the way she looked (she was overweight.)

Now, looking back, maybe I should have given it a shot? I always aimed high, which is probably why I'm single. Girls who are good looking are aiming for the male models, because they can...I should take what I can get.


----------



## dal user

Mousy said:


> Omg you're not ugly ok. Maybe it's the way you carry yourself and your attitude that makes you "unattractive."


Seeing a photo of me isn't enough to justify me not being ugly. A photo changes the way a person looks quite a lot, I'll admit I looked really good in that photo because it was on self portrait. The majority if not all girls will agree with me if I brought up me being ridiculously ugly and trampy looking. I mean is it normal for a guy of 21 to still look like im 13 yet have the beginnings of a bald patch and wrinkle marks around me eyes and on my forehead?


----------



## aquilla

eveningbat said:


> I am weird.


Ha, this.Sums up all the reasons perfectly.


----------



## nothing else

Rich91 said:


> Maybe
> 
> im not even average though, I look grotesque and people have said I look retarded or inbred.


I'm well below average as well. But in general I think personality matters more. Because ugly people can still go with ugly people. A guy who is too shy to approach a girl (good looking or not) will never get a date because girls rarely approach guys even if they are good looking.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

Mousy said:


> Omg you're not ugly ok. Maybe it's the way you carry yourself and your attitude that makes you "unattractive."


+1

YO GO SISTER! 



Rich91 said:


> His girlfriend is most likely a gold digger then
> 
> you haven't really proved me wrong either. Im fed up of hearing about 'I know so and so who is ugly but has a hot girlfriend' due to being confident blah blah blah. Its all about looks at the end of the day, confidence and other things are just an added bonus.


Funny you say that because she works as well and makes more than her boyfriend. But hey, if you're fed up about hearing examples that have worked then I won't say more and you can go on and live your life of misery. Have fun.


----------



## Heartbreaker

I used to have the nerve to hit on random girls but after my first relationship which ended horribly and taught me a lot, I changed drastically. Now I just can't do it, I think I'll be single for the rest of my life, and that's fine by me, I mean, I don't need a girlfriend to be happy, and I sure am not desperate enough to date girls that I'm not interested in, and I already implied to them that it won't happen. So, well, to sum up;


----------



## Bawsome

Im playing really really really hard to get.


----------



## Man or Cube

I'm a boring person and bad at making conversation longer than a few minutes.

I don't really feel strong emotions or express them.

I don't think someone would feel better in a relationship with me--my problems would instead drag them down too.


----------



## jedidri

I don't want to settle for average
I don't meet enough people to come across someone I actually am interested in
If I do meet someone I like I'm too scared to talk to them:sigh


----------



## her

I think me being odd is part of it, but more than anything I'm just picky.


----------



## nrelax11

Because I haven't really tried to get into one. Itll happen when I'm ready


----------



## cuppy

Because I don't try to talk to people :b
And I keep holding on to the idea that the conditions have to be perfect, ie: it has to be a day I look nice, it can't feel forced, because "getting-to-know-you" conversations make me feel awkward (even though that's kind of the point of getting to know someone)...


----------



## WillYouStopDave

I'm in all kinds of relationships. Millions of them.


----------



## zstandig

No job, 
no money, 
no home of my own,
short,
no where to go, so I'm in my room most of the time,
glasses,
old car,

I don't really think I'm that good looking, but to be honest I don't know how to gauge male beauty on account that as a heterosexual male I naturally find men repulsive, so I really don't know what the hell goes through a woman's head when she sees my face. Maybe I should hold a survey sometime.

All I really have going for me is that I still have my hair.


----------



## LivingZombie

zstandig said:


> No job,
> no money,
> no home of my own,
> short,
> no where to go, so I'm in my room most of the time,
> glasses,
> old car,


I'm all that (except im avg height), but I have no car and 2 felonies on my record now. I have a better chance of contracting herpes from a toilet seat.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

I haven't found the right girl and I don't really know where or how to find her, or if I ever will. I think I also let my bad experiences with the wrong girls get me down too much.


----------



## nothing else

Everybody thinks I'm ugly and I'm nobody's type. And on top of that I have a non-interesting personality. It's the best combination for loneliness.


----------



## her

zstandig said:


> No job,
> no money,
> no home of my own,
> short,
> no where to go, so I'm in my room most of the time,
> glasses,
> old car,
> 
> I don't really think I'm that good looking, but to be honest I don't know how to gauge male beauty on account that as a heterosexual male I naturally find men repulsive, so I really don't know what the hell goes through a woman's head when she sees my face. Maybe I should hold a survey sometime.
> 
> All I really have going for me is that I still have my hair.





LivingZombie said:


> I'm all that (except im avg height), but I have no car and 2 felonies on my record now. I have a better chance of contracting herpes from a toilet seat.


I know these posts weren't supposed to be funny, but they gave me a good laugh. Making light of my misfortune is something I often do.


----------



## dcaffeine

Community college makes it hard to see people for more than an hour per day
Too nervous at the moment
Too lazy


----------



## zareba

///


----------



## amaris

I am broken and damaged. String of bad relationships has left me a husk of what I was. I barely get asked out because most guys dont seem to like smart girls. I dont feel I am beautiful.Even if I do manage to be asked out..the very thought of falling in love makes me want to cry . I feel I am unable to love and emotionally numb. I cant form attachments or care even though I used to be caring and sweet. The very thought of being with someone frightens me. I feel safe being alone but at the same time I feel lonely and wish I had someone by my side. SA makes it worse as I cant socialize as much.


----------



## ShadyGFX

No excuses, I'm a *****.


----------



## hunteri herioci

I would love to have a relationship, but I think my appearance is pretty undesirable, and my social awkwardness turns people away from wanting to get to know me, so my true personality doesn't really have a chance to influence them much. It's a problem when trying to make friends, let alone finding a person to date.


----------



## MobiusX

I'm seriously thinking about it. Maybe I should put some effort starting next year. My mom told me she wants to see me with a girlfriend. My thought about having a girlfriend has changed. Back then as a teenager I always said no. Now I think it's actually unhealthy to be my age and never having a girlfriend. So yes, I want a girlfriend. The problem is I'm not good looking, I don't have good social skills, I am weird, don't even like looking girls I find attractive in the eye which means I'll never talk to them, and I have low self esteem. The only way I would try is if a girl told me she liked me, that way I won't embarrass myself and her.


----------



## Zeeshan

MobiusX said:


> I'm seriously thinking about it. Maybe I should put some effort starting next year. My mom told me she wants to see me with a girlfriend. My thought about having a girlfriend has changed. Back then as a teenager I always said no. Now I think it's actually unhealthy to be my age and never having a girlfriend. So yes, I want a girlfriend. The problem is I'm not good looking, I don't have good social skills, I am weird, don't even like looking girls I find attractive in the eye which means I'll never talk to them, and I have low self esteem. The only way I would try is if a girl told me she liked me, that way I won't embarrass myself and her.


Good luck man. There is a thread waiting for you when you're ready


----------



## Jesuszilla

Don't think I can keep a girl interested in me long enough romantically to be in a relationship. Plus with how severe my depression gets when I get down, I'm not even sure I'm stable enough for one.


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Because b*tches be trippin.


----------



## Raphael200

I have a porn issue


----------



## starburst93

Because infidelity is a thing.


----------



## estse

Lack of self-esteem and confidence, and blessed with young impotence.


----------



## ClearRaindrop

I'm incredibly awkward to even be in a relationship. Even when I'm talking to guys at my school. I feel like I can't hold a conversation with the opposite sex.


----------



## Green Eyes

Because no one ever likes me.


----------



## Senpai

1. I'm really picky
2. If I'm attracted to a guy, I'm way too nervous to talk to him


----------



## RelinquishedHell

Because no girl will ever like me and there is just simply nothing I can do about it. Try and fail, try and fail. It's a repeating cycle I seem to have no control over.


----------



## Raphael200

Santa clause told me I'm ugly.


----------



## MidnightBlu

zstandig said:


> No job,
> no money,
> no home of my own,
> short,
> no where to go, so I'm in my room most of the time,
> glasses,
> old car,
> 
> I don't really think I'm that good looking, but to be honest I don't know how to gauge male beauty on account that as a heterosexual male I naturally find men repulsive, so I really don't know what the hell goes through a woman's head when she sees my face. Maybe I should hold a survey sometime.
> 
> All I really have going for me is that I still have my hair.


I think you're extremely good looking to be honest from your avatar pic. I think you're hot and cute. You'll probably be one of the guys I see in person and think, "Gosh, I want to approach him so badly he's so cute, but I'm too shy and he'll probably say no. Aww sh!t. " You'll be one of the guys profiles on dating sites I'll click on immediately based on your picture and I would message you too if your profile was good. And then you might not message me back because a lot of guys tend not to anyway. :b

I'm honestly not lying about any of this either.


----------



## AussiePea

I could write some bull**** and go on about confidence and all that but the blunt truth is, I'm scared and I don't even know why.


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

AussiePea said:


> I could write some bull**** and go on about confidence and all that but the blunt truth is, I'm scared and I don't even know why.


Cos you doubt you're good enough to maintain a relationship with a potential partner?


----------



## Alone75

I'm just not a nice enough person and I don't deserve anyone to waste their time being in a relationship with me anyway.


----------



## AussiePea

TheDarkGuardian said:


> Cos you doubt you're good enough to maintain a relationship with a potential partner?


No I think I'm quite capable in that regard. It's more the whole dating game, the insecurities surrounding those initial months, the do's and the dont's and the anxiety all of that creates, or at least I think. I usually make up some excuse to myself when an opportunity arises as to why I should stop and things never go further. Unfortunately it only makes my fears worse.


----------



## MidnightBlu

I have a problem of liking guys, too. I don't like guys easily and am very, very picky. Once I like a guy, I end up liking him a lot that if he rejects or dumps me, I get really hurt.


----------



## visualkeirockstar

I won't allow myself to.


----------



## shycheese

Can't be bothered. Relationships are so exhausting.


----------



## aburridon

I know I'm handsome... but I think that's all that I have going on for me because I cannot hold a girl's attention for more than the "hello" and "where are you from?". I've been trying to improve myself lately (I cook rather well, I exercise regularly, I'm going to dance lessons and trying to read a "smart person" book every now and then) and despite all this I still find myself not knowing what to say in conversation... guess I'm not fun to be around with...


----------



## mcmuffinme

I kind of get the impression that I'm just not mentally cut out for a relationship. I'd like to be the kind of person that could handle all the stress and intimacy, but I just can't. It's easier to be alone, and I guess I've always taken the path of least resistance. Plus, it's really hard for me to understand why anyone would like someone like me.


----------



## Alone75

I haven't found anyone retarded enough to want to be with me, yet.


----------



## sanspants08

Wrong place, wrong time, x eleventytrillion.


----------



## jessabones

Malek said:


> Likewise, I'm too inexperienced and shy. In order for me to find a girlfriend, she would most likely have to find me... Since that rarely happens in this world,and even less likely to happen to me, I suppose I'll just learn to be content being alone and never experiencing love. In this sense, I should count my blessings, the most predominant one being that I don't really know what I'm missing out on, heh.
> 
> From what other people tell me at work, they don't understand why I'm single, they don't know about my SA. My shyness when it comes to interacting with women I deem attractive. I'm relatively liked at work, no enemies, I wouldn't say I'm popular but according to my brother, everyone there appreciates my existence. I've been called good looking, hilarious, intelligent, wise, caring, kindhearted, dependable, respectful. Doubt many of these compliments are true, talk is cheap, I often ponder what my acquaintances really think
> 
> Sigh...
> 
> I don't know...
> 
> Why should I care anymore? All the girls I'd consider dating are out of reach, they are already taken or unavailable, such is my luck. I don't need love to live or rather exist, yes I desire it but that is because I am a hopeless fool. I should focus on exercising more, school, work. These are more important endeavors in my opinion. I'm not very young at all, and yet I feel younger than some immature teenagers that go in and out of relationships like nothing? Why? It's so fallacious and absurd. I'm sick and tired of feeling inadequate for no reason. Meh. Fix myself?
> 
> I've been doing this for years, it's come to the point I see people in my life who are worse off than me finding love, I can't but feel bitter envy at their luck. It's easy for people to tell me to have patience, you'll meet someone eventually, no they are wrong... Even if I did, my SA would prevent me from approaching her and ever confiding my feelings and she will eventually choose to be with someone else, this has happened more times than I can remember. Yes it was my fault most of the time, yet a few instances, it was them who asked out other guys, my friends, and I can't help but question why? They didn't even show you as much respect, and I could make you laugh more, so what was it? Did they think that I was out of "their" league? Call me pretentious but I was even more attractive, some of you even said so, were they lying out of pity?
> 
> I don't hate them for it, not anymore, it's my fault mainly. I mainly hate myself for letting something trivial like this affect my self esteem in such a way. I want to channel my frustration and anger into energy doing something more productive than wallowing in self pity. Work, escapism, sleep, repeat. This is my life, my humble existence, I drift through life and the days are going by fast, one day I will eventually wake up an old lonely man, I myself still have vivid recollections of my childhood, if only I took so many risks back then, I wouldn't be in the isolated position I am suffering in now. I should take this as a lesson and just push myself out of my comfort zone.
> 
> Why am I not in a relationship? I've always over analyzed everything and have to think things through, to the point the opportunity passes and it's too late. All that speculation or weighing the pros or cons, my chances, is it worth the embarrassment, ect. It has held me back. My mind is my own worst enemy, my body is a cage.
> 
> I suppose there's hope if I learned to trust people more, so I'll focus on that...


 This sounds like my life...


----------



## twitchy666

*uuhhhh... traction*

The weight of it

The friction

anything that holds you back
or forces you forward

The lack of adhesion with language became my failure
Not my fault
I just naturally had some powerful force to stick with the syntax we use for our native tongue, or some others - the structure.
I can't tolerate colloquial - the informal
OK - if it's funny. I could use it a lot but the ground rules have to stick
I loved learning my English from parents, then my first year at school made me scorn them and see them and everyone else as inept

eg. "in a relationship" has no grammatical form. Commonly used. "whatever that means" I's replace that with "x has or had a relationship with y"
"Remanded in jail?" is an ambiguity I can't cite now but whenever I see it. I feel it always misses the word 'into'. A person physically moves from the ouside int a cell, pending judgemental verdict"? I'm probably wrong, but got me thinking in terms of usage of prepositions. Maybe the starting sentence could be "kicked in jail"?

The main failure of people's efforts to compose a valid sentence, where a comma seems to stand as the one and only symbol as a "pause", using many verbs without closing. A comma is for a list of nouns or verbs...

trivial as you read it. Sorry.
My anti-colloquial (non-coalgulating blood) attitude has destroyed my hope

funny that second to my last time when I actually joined a SA forum when a boss fired me for not doing things exactly his way. I tolerate different ways and try to please. Can't know what the problem was


----------



## zraktor

do you smell that freedom.

actually its just cognitive dissonance. i want it, really


----------



## TheDarkGuardian

IN my lifetime I've probably met *100 women that I've talked* *to in depth *and about 5 of them were close to being girlfriends but things never worked out. I know I'm somewhat attractive because I often see girls checking me out, so right now I'm going with haven't met the right one yet.
Just meet more girls and hey, they'll be that special someone worth it all. I'm still optimistic about myself and not gonna just blame it on something and make no attempt to seek a resolve.


----------



## gunner21

I'm broke, jobless, living with parents, carless, boring, not very good looking and don't have many friends. In conclusion, the opposite of attractive to women.


----------



## ShadowKnight212

Well first you need to go places to meet girls, and it's easier to do that with friends, (I have no friends), I can't make friends, I know I can still go places by myself, but I Like having a "safezone", people I can just sit with and not having people stare at you because your by yourself.


----------



## T Studdly

Because i'm just an unappealing person, I don't think any guy would want to date me honestly but it doesn't bother me too much being single.

That and most people think i'm weird/eccentric/awkward.


----------



## CinnamonDelight

I don't ****ing know.


----------



## Mr Blues

I'm not desirable to the women I'm attracted to and refuse to settle.


----------



## AmandaMarie87

I do eventually want a relationship but right now just isn't a good time. I'm saving up for a place of my own and I'll be moving in a few months (hopefully) so it wouldn't be ideal until I've settled into my new home.


----------



## AwkBoy

I like to be delusionally optimistic, but it's because no one likes me, at least in a ****able way. I'm just a loser really


----------



## Kathykook

I AM in a relationship because I feel that I have found someone worthy enough to be in my presence. The end.


----------



## eukz

Man or Cube said:


> *I'm a boring person and bad at making conversation longer than a few minutes.*
> 
> I don't really feel strong emotions or express them.
> 
> I don't think someone would feel better in a relationship with me--my problems would instead drag them down too.


:ditto

In short, most people want someone who makes them laugh like every second. You need words and words and emotions and ****, and that's like a super-power for SA people. Every time a date makes me know that I needed to be "funnier" or "more enthusiastic" about it, I'm just like meeeh...

I believe it'll be easier when I'm older, I hope so xD


----------



## NomadicWonder

No money and I am the weirdest person in the ****ing world to have a conversation with if I don't know you. Women can smell the insecurity, no matter how happy of a mask you put on.


----------



## Tinydancer20

2 shy da shy hush hush I do I


----------



## Swtlduckie

My shyness I can't meet people cause I mostly only talk to people I know. I can't start a conversation with a stranger for nothing. I just go out about my business in life.

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


----------



## anotherlonelygirl

*hmm...*

I'm a nervous and constantly embarrassed waste of space. *shrugs*


----------



## nothing else

because nobody wuvs me


----------



## euphoria04

nothing else said:


> because nobody wuvs me


reminded me of this song


----------



## BillDauterive

Because I am not good enough for any female, I am too different and messed up beyond most people's comprehension due to my very unique and different lifestyle.


----------



## shinycaptain

I've had guys ask me out before but 1. I'm really not attracted to him or 2. it is sooo not appropriate! (once I had this guy who was 15 years older than me ask me out for coffee. LOL)

Also I have low self confidence in what I look like so I don't flirt with guys. Meh.


----------



## jessabones

gunner21 said:


> I'm broke, jobless, living with parents, carless, boring, not very good looking and don't have many friends. In conclusion, the opposite of attractive to women.


I read this and glanced at your icon and was like "OMFG STFU JAMES FRANCO!! YOU ARE ****ING PERFECT OKAY? MARRY ME OKAY?

But trust me, you are somebody's cup of mocha frappuccino. All women don't like the same douche bags.


----------



## To22

I practically never leave the house 
Some romance may be encouraging enough to get out, but it's very unlikely that it could exist with new faces unless I leave the house first lol.. a vicious cycle. I'm not worried about it though.


----------



## Double Entendre

Because for some reason women don't throw themselves at me or come to my house asking for dates?!?!? But seriously it comes down to my self confidence and social skills.


----------

