# People on SAS who say they want online friends...



## uncertainty (Aug 30, 2013)

*.*

.


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## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

I'll be your friend


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## Letmebe (Dec 17, 2012)

I answer PM's, I don't bite I just throw stones and turn people into newts; but they always get better

I'm friendly I swear.


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## TheBrokenGuy (Jul 12, 2013)

I'm here if you ever need to talk and I will do my best to help out in anyway that I can for you =)


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

It's weird like that for some reason.
Even for me, as long as I have been here - I still get that problem myself. :stu


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## M0rbid (Jan 11, 2011)

Cheer up..... You can always PM me.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Well... You haven't posted much, your wall is blocked off, and your profile is barely filled out. You're rather anonymous.

Personally, when I get a PM from a totally anonymous user here, I generally just ignore it unless there's something about it that _really_ strikes me to reply.

The more you show your personality here, the more you'll find people being receptive to this sort of thing.

This thread is a good start -- you'll probably get a half-decent response from this, but still, if you're looking to connect with people here, it would help to show a little more of your personality on the forums.

(Also, this _is_ a social anxiety forum -- people can be nervous or hesitant to correspond with people, even if they really *want* to.)


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## Richard Pawgins (Jul 11, 2013)

You're Engaged, u don't need friends


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

Richard Pawgins said:


> You're Engaged, u don't need friends


:twak


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Jsoc said:


> So you're saying that there _is_ in fact for sure something wrong with the PM system? I'm not just a total and complete loser from loserville??? lol.


No, I am saying that we can't assume. Other people have issues here, too. :stu


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## mattmc (Jun 27, 2013)

I try to only PM someone if we share common interests or I'm saying something specific. An example being, "I liked that thing thing you said. Here are my thoughts on it." Or "That was an interesting story. But I wondered about this aspect. Could you elaborate?"

That's being very general to give an idea of what I mean.


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## mattmc (Jun 27, 2013)

We all fail more often than not. There is no proven method. Last time a girl PMed me it was about something I said on a forum. Except she didn't explain why that made her want to talk to me until she had me chatting with her on an instant messenger. We talked two nights in a row. Had a nice conversation. Now I can't seem to find her online. After she outright said she's on all the time. There is a real possibility she blocked me.

And hey, she might just be busy. Point is life makes all of us feel like losers.


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

Are you assuming that just because they are a member of this site that they are lacking in friends or want friends? 

Or people who have specifically asked for people to message them if they want friends. I am one of those people who is just generally not seeking out online friendships. And I really need to work on cutting down my time on here, spending all my time PMing people really... doesn't help that goal. 

So I would say its not anything about you, just the people you are picking to message might not be looking for a PM buddy at the moment.


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## Nada (Dec 19, 2004)

I honestly have trouble keeping online friends because I'm pretty horrible in keeping in contact with them. I just don't bother trying anymore.


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## coffeeandflowers (Mar 2, 2013)

I can be terrible about responding to messages. I have to be in the *right* mood to do so. And if I take too long I will probably just give up and go into hiding mode. It is not that it is a chore to write to people; sometimes I just lack the concentration to do so. Also, clicking with the person helps. With some people it is really effortless. Sometimes using the chat is best. 

I went ahead and fleshed out my profile, now hopefully people will be inspired to write to meeee


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## Mlochail (Jul 11, 2012)

You can always PM me about anything. I once had this random woman PM me, she wanted help or something but than just stopped talking... then, after a while start again -stop. And never heard her again =/ Not sure what was going on in her mind. Probably because I'm boring.


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## Still Waters (Sep 18, 2008)

Jsoc said:


> I don't know. I guess I just fail at this whole thing. There isn't a truly appropriate place for this I suppose...not even here among people who have the same issues I do and who seem to want friends. I just...I really don't know. :stu


BELIEVE ME, it's NOT you -a lot of people on here are a bit strange/paranoid/rude -Look up the thread titled-"For us anti-social SAS members"-(or something along those lines)-the thread is by Mercurochrome. It will be a real eye-opener and should explain a lot. -It's a recent thread-going on 4 pages,I think. I repeat -IT'S NOT YOU! Oh -the thread is located in the General discussion area.


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## Ntln (Apr 27, 2012)

I answer every PM or visitor message I get. But it's sometimes you won't know how to react or won't really be in the mood to socialise when you get them.


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

Oh well then I think those people just have issues, its definitely not you you seem nice and actually friendly and decent at conversation. I know its hard not to take lack of response personally. That is actually one of the major issues that I have.


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## dal user (Dec 25, 2012)

Online friends is quite sad imo

if you're gonna meet the person then fair enough but other than that i think its quite sad


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## FunkyFedoras (Aug 30, 2013)

i always respond! I love to get PMs.


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## JohnWalnut (May 2, 2012)

It's not just you. I've sent PMs to people who were asking for PMs in the past and they never replied either. (Wasn't on this site, even, just in general). People don't reply to my emails either for some reason. I don't understand either way. I always try to reply to my PMs. People are just weird, that's all.


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## jealousisjelly (Feb 22, 2011)

mattmc said:


> We all fail more often than not. There is no proven method. Last time a girl PMed me it was about something I said on a forum. Except she didn't explain why that made her want to talk to me until she had me chatting with her on an instant messenger. We talked two nights in a row. Had a nice conversation. Now I can't seem to find her online. After she outright said she's on all the time. There is a real possibility she blocked me.
> 
> And hey, she might just be busy. Point is life makes all of us feel like losers.





Moasim said:


> You can always PM me about anything. I once had this random woman PM me, she wanted help or something but than just stopped talking... then, after a while start again -stop. And never heard her again =/ Not sure what was going on in her mind. Probably because I'm boring.





Jsoc said:


> ....but then don't reply to PMs?
> 
> I've been making a lot of effort in this area because I've had the same one online friend for many, many years and no real life friends. I thought this site might be perfect to find new friends because there are a lot of people in my situation who might be feeling like I am and lacking friends. I almost feel like the message thing has to be broken or something. No one has even replied to say so much as "no thanks." Just...nothing. What gives? :stu
> 
> I feel so rejected. :cry :cry :cry


i feel u guys!! no one wants to talk to me ... how sad


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## Mugen Souls (Jun 3, 2013)

Jsoc said:


> ....but then don't reply to PMs?
> 
> I've been making a lot of effort in this area because I've had the same one online friend for many, many years and no real life friends. I thought this site might be perfect to find new friends because there are a lot of people in my situation who might be feeling like I am and lacking friends. I almost feel like the message thing has to be broken or something. No one has even replied to say so much as "no thanks." Just...nothing. What gives? :stu
> 
> I feel so rejected. :cry :cry :cry


Like I said in the other thread, it's most likely not rejection. People with SA fear social interaction because they more than likely have been hurt in the past. Most don't even know how to reply because they don't know what to say, etc. So it's best not to take it personally. It is a disorder after all and it's not that easy to shake and most aren't here buddy up instantly.

I do think people should reply to PMs when they see them though, even they think the reply might sound dumb. Not replying at all can seem rude.

Another thing though, check the date of the last time they logged in. If they haven't been on in ages, then don't expect an instant reply, (obviously). Just give people time. If they don't reply, they're probably not ready for a close friendship anyway. Just keep in mind this is a SA site. If it were easy for us to connect and socialize, most of us wouldn't even be here.


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## Mystic Force (Jun 26, 2013)

I have had this happen to me too. I have SA but I don't want sit around feeling sorry for myself I want to find like minded interesting people to interact with who have a similair perspective. Many people are in despair here I understand that but I would like to make friends with the ones who are feeling a little bit more open to the world.


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

PMs feel too personal and intimidating to me. I'd personally rather skype or exchange simple VMs. Your best bet is probably to leave a visitor message based on a common interest (like JL said, you might want to share some things about yourself in your "about me" so the other person can reply). Maybe from there it will progress into an online friendship.


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## au Lait (Sep 8, 2010)

People tend to prefer friends with common interests. They will need to get a feel for your personality first. Making your PMs engaging and specific (comment on shared interests from their profile, or reply to posts they have made - something that will spark a discussion) will increase your chance of getting a reply. If you're just saying something generic like "Hi I saw you want a friend, do you want to be my friend?" then that's probably not going to work. Friendships have to build and form naturally.

Maybe they really DO want to reply, but their anxiety gets in the way. Social isolation is an obvious side effect of social anxiety disorder. The desire for friendship doesn't instantly negate the anxiety that someone feels while interacting with others. You have to be aware that a lot of people here are going to struggle when it comes to replying. It's not personal. It's the nature of social anxiety disorder.



Still Waters said:


> BELIEVE ME, it's NOT you -a lot of people on here are a bit strange/paranoid/rude -Look up the thread titled-"For us anti-social SAS members"-(or something along those lines)-the thread is by Mercurochrome. It will be a real eye-opener and should explain a lot. -It's a recent thread-going on 4 pages,I think. I repeat -IT'S NOT YOU! Oh -the thread is located in the General discussion area.


You know what? Insults like "strange" and "rude" have no doubt been used to describe many people here as a direct result of the disorder that they struggle with every single day. That's really insensitive of you to pass such harsh judgment on others simply because you cannot relate to the way they are struggling. It's great that you are able to reply to anyone and everyone without your anxiety getting in the way. But please try to understand that others are not so lucky. That doesn't mean they deserve to be insulted or that they are not worthy of empathy. It also doesn't mean that they are not trying their best to recover and get to the point where they can reply to anyone. Some people make progress with baby steps.


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## ItsEasierToRun (Feb 2, 2013)

Considering you've only been here 1 month tops and with a mere 25 posts, I can't imagine anyone knows you.. 

It's usually the regular posters who make friends because people can learn about their personalities..

Lurkers normally remain lurkers unless they actively involve themselves within the forum more..

Also, try VMs instead of PMs.. Just a thought :b


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## Raziel177 (Sep 7, 2013)

Kind of a late reply but here goes:
So, a girl that is engaged started a threat that implies she wants to be PM'ed. It appears someone seeks attention, and from what I read, you are engaged, that means you have someone you hold dear that is more than a friend. If anyone can be engaged, they can make friends pretty easily.
Not trying to sound mean. In my case tho, people literally ignore me even on sites such as this. Ignoring my posts and private messages. In my case, I have almost no friends, let alone be engaged. I am sure you will find many online friends considering you are a girl that posts on a forum of social anxiety.
Good luck finding more friends!


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## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

Well I know I have a hard time replying sometimes. I freak out and don't know what to say.. I mean this site has a lot of people with insecurities regarding socializing. I don't get offended when people don't message me back, or cut off conversation. I figure they probably have the same issues I do. So maybe its better to think that way, than to take it personally.


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## NoHeart (May 5, 2012)

You can't expect to get along with everybody who PM's you or talks to you, sometimes I talk to people on here but we just don't ''click'' and it becomes pretty uninteresting to reply.

Just keep talking to people and you'll find like-minded people but don't expect every person who says hi to you to become your bestie.


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## marcelogn (Nov 1, 2011)

*A hug from Brasil*

Hey Jsock ! My name is Marcelo and I´d like to meet you. I share what´s happening to you cause my real world friendships are shaking due to SA and we need someone to share what happens in our lifes and keep strong as the said "one line alone is easily broken, you gether them together and form a hope, it is so strong to be broken" or something like that ! I´m here to try to help and get help and if u want to exchange contacts in private we can videochat or whatever ! Hope you doing well in facing SA treats, and never stop believing will come the day it wont even be a treat! Hope you have loved ones to get by. A hug from Brasil !



Jsoc said:


> ....but then don't reply to PMs?
> 
> I've been making a lot of effort in this area because I've had the same one online friend for many, many years and no real life friends. I thought this site might be perfect to find new friends because there are a lot of people in my situation who might be feeling like I am and lacking friends. I almost feel like the message thing has to be broken or something. No one has even replied to say so much as "no thanks." Just...nothing. What gives? :stu
> 
> I feel so rejected. :cry :cry :cry


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## SilentlySuffering (Oct 14, 2010)

The problem is I am too distant. I come on here, post a bit then leave. I have a hard time connecting with others or keeping interesting conversations going. I'd love to make new friends, but I'm not good at keeping them or making.


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

I think it's a matter of people wanting to want to have friends. In theory it sounds nice to have a friend, but when they actually message you or speak to you it's kinda like, what do I do now?


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## slider (Feb 9, 2013)

Total Posts: 27
This page has had *191* visits
Showing 6 of 6 Friend(s)
Join Date
08-30-2013

see your popular

just look at my stats:

Total Posts: 177
This page has had *6* visits
Join Date
02-08-2013








I have been trying to get 10 total visits for the last 3 months.


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## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

slider said:


> Total Posts: 27
> This page has had *191* visits
> Showing 6 of 6 Friend(s)
> Join Date
> ...


I just gave you a visit! 7 down, 3 more to go!


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## CWe (Mar 7, 2010)

I feel the same way! people complain and say they want friends but then you message them and they don't respond. WTF


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## brewpacksox (Sep 15, 2012)

I'm up for a new friend!


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## AshleyAnn (Sep 15, 2013)

I know what you mean! I sometimes feel like the dang message thingy is broken too lol either that or it's just me


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## Kalliber (Aug 18, 2012)

Yes it kinda pisses me off lol I tried many times also but eeeeh i get this is SA.But when they ask for "friends" and ignore seems rude.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

What do I think I think.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

I think people with sa are less likely to initiate a contact with anyone. So it can be pretty hard for them to first send a pm to another saer. just my thought.


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## Monster123 (Aug 15, 2013)

I'm more than happy to make new online friends as I actually don't have any at the moment..

And I agree with the above, I rarely make first contact as I often don't have a clue what to say!


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## linky1 (Oct 29, 2013)

I'm new here and would love people to talk to and become friends with 
Feel free to PM about absolutly anything.


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