# Embarrassing thoughts make me shout things...( please don't laugh)



## LeeAnne1990 (Jun 24, 2012)

I think I've seen this thread posted on here before, but I didn't see anyone who had a solution...

For some reason when I think about embarrassing things, I shout out random words. They can be things that have happened to me, but the funny thing is most of the time they are scenarios that I have though up in my head. They usually come when I am not doing anything and have time to daydream. I'll be day dreaming and I have a thought that reminds me of an embarrassing incident ( that actually happened or not). Most of the time it's a cuss. Somtimes I just grunt loudly or even hit or kick something. A few minutes ago I almost broke my computer from punching it. 

This has been going on for years, but recently it's starting to get worse. Throught the years I have been experiencing this, I have mostly been able to not do this while I around other people. But not anymore. 
I do not think this is touretts syndrome. This happens ONLY when I think of embarrassing situations.


Has anyone experienced this? did you find a solution?


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## LorenLuke (Jan 3, 2011)

What do you shout... can you give an example of what thoughts would go with shouting certain things?

Also, Tourette's can be triggered by stressed... so it very well may be...


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## LeeAnne1990 (Jun 24, 2012)

The thoughts I have are usual embarrassing thoughts about situations that almost everyone has been through. Tripping in front of a bunch of people, saying something stupid. That kind of thing. Like I said, these things can be something that has actually happened, or something I made up in my head. When this happens I usually blurt out a cuss. ''****!'' seems to be my favorite lately... Sometimes I'll blurt out an entire phrase like "'I hate My self'' or '' ****! I'm gong to kill myself!'' ( even though I do not have suicidal tendencies).

I know I might not be explaining this well so I found a thread on another forum where the posters are having this same problem. they explain what happes better than i do.

http://ask.metafilter.com/97265/Compelled-to-Blurt


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## Calyx (May 30, 2012)

I kinda do this, but its when I remember embarrassing things that have happened to me. Even stuff from years ago. At first I would I would just sort of flinch and close my eyes really tight to try to forget it. Now I might say a random word or make a noise. And ok this is REALLLLLLLY embarrassing to admit but sometime I'll just spazz out and do like some crazy position with my body... Its sounds crazier then it is when I type it. :blank

I try to remind myself that all the people who were around when I did this embarrassing thing don't even remember, most don't even remember me at all


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## LorenLuke (Jan 3, 2011)

For all I know, it very well may be Tourette's... but again... I'm no professional.

It could be something minor... I have yet to figure out why my dad exclaims profanity to his computer, despite his computer not having a microphone, voice recognition software, and an AI intelligent to parse out that he's upset at it, but shouting at inanimate objects isn't all that uncommon... perhaps this is not, either...

I'm afraid I can't say for certain, but you could ask a psychologist about it...


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## SkySlip (Jun 18, 2012)

This has been happening to me recently whenever I remember an embarrassing incident. Usually I shout "idiot" or groan that I ought to kill myself (I'm not suicidal, it's just that feeling of wishing you could sink into the ground and be invisible).


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## Iota (Mar 24, 2010)

I've sort of been doing the same thing, except instead of it being a random word, it comes out sounding more like a certain f-word. It just comes out.... and is a pretty good indication I need to think about something else...


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## Worrier Warrior (Jun 21, 2012)

Its your way of dealing with those thoughts, there is no answer your mind can come to a positive conclusion of, so the best way for it to stop is you becoming more physical aware by making noise, its the same thing as a yawn. Id suggest taking in the advice your shouts are giving (to stop thinkng so bad of past situations) though i cant say much, i been in or am in same position.


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## Worrier Warrior (Jun 21, 2012)

Except with a yawn ur becoming more physically aware by stretching face muscles


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## half jaw (Mar 25, 2011)

I've always done that as well...don't have any solutions, I've just kinda accepted it as some weird thing that I do


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## Bhikkhu (Jun 23, 2012)

Holy crap. I thought I was the only person who did that!! When I think about a really embarrassing situation that happened from any time in my life, this overwhelming urge sometimes comes super fast (like in 1/4 second) and I just blurt out a swear word. I don't even swear much normally, but i'll say something hyper aggressive and in an angry tone, like "F**k you!!" to noone, or maybe to myself i'm not sure.

It doesn't happen that often, and like someone mentioned, usually while daydreaming. 

I'm just shocked that other people do this, I thought I was totally weird...


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## successful (Mar 21, 2009)

You have tourrents, or whatever that illness called.


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## Bhikkhu (Jun 23, 2012)

successful said:


> You have tourrents, or whatever that illness called.


Uhhh, no. I'm not a doctor but it is definitely not tourrettes syndrome. It is a behavioral habit/tic of some kind, not a neurological disease.


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## luffy (Jun 2, 2011)

Get a punching bag. You can get it all out at once.


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## lyssado707 (Oct 29, 2004)

I do the same thing.


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## thinkstoomuch101 (Jun 7, 2012)

Bhikkhu said:


> Holy crap. I thought I was the only person who did that!! When I think about a really embarrassing situation that happened from any time in my life, this overwhelming urge sometimes comes super fast (like in 1/4 second) and I just blurt out a swear word. I don't even swear much normally, but i'll say something hyper aggressive and in an angry tone, like "F**k you!!" to noone, or maybe to myself i'm not sure.
> 
> It doesn't happen that often, and like someone mentioned, usually while daydreaming.
> 
> I'm just shocked that other people do this, I thought I was totally weird...


Isn't it cool to know you're not the only one? and yes, i do the "swear word" or "jeez", blinking in disbelief, or i grimace, or sometimes shake my head, or the CRINGE, sometimes I hit something.

i don't understand when i remind my SO about some mistake he made long time ago, he doesn't cringe, or wince in shame, he goes "Well, nothing we can do about it now, so why bring it up?" or "It's over, soo..."

i wish i were more like him..


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## thinkstoomuch101 (Jun 7, 2012)

i just did some research, and watched a few videos on this.. i don't think this is tourette's at all..


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## Xenos (Jun 24, 2012)

Yeah, I can completely relate to this. Whenever my brain touches on an embarassing/painful memory I'll feel the urge to curse, or say something awful, or even imagine something really violent happening to me. I think the idea is to fill my brain with something so charged and powerful that it'll actually push the _personal_ memory, which is more painful, out.

I don't think it's full-blown tourettes, because I can control it when I'm around people. I do suffer from OCD, though, and think this is probably connected to that.

Since the behavior is an attempt to avoid a painful memory or thought, the solution is probably to face, and deal with, that memory and the feelings it brings up. Like, some kind of exposure therapy. You can try as hard as you can to play out the memory or situation in your head, and try to experience it and all of the feelings as fully as you can. Obviously this will be very uncomfortable at first, but gradually you'll make peace with the thought, and your brain will no longer feel the urge to avoid it by shouting some word, or whatever other ritual you have.


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## Mairie (Jun 13, 2012)

Oh my goodness LeeAnne, I do this too. Usually swear words; I used to say "I hate myself" and other things along those lines until I forced myself to stop. Lots of times I just moan a lot.

Are you a feeler/thinker? Lots of times I can't stop thinking and remembering and feeling things, and I have to get my emotions out somehow. It sounds like you experience strong emotions that your mind needs a release for.

Lately, deep breathing and positive thinking has REALLY helped me. Your mind can be trained away from those tendencies after awhile. Maybe take some time in the morning after you wake up. Breath deeply, scribble down all embarrassing thoughts/incidents that come to you on paper and leave it somewhere--under your bed or a special place. Tell yourself you are leaving all those thoughts behind you in that specific place today. If they still flood your mind during the day, counter them with a positive thought. Say "what's done is done and I've moved on" or "this is just a thought, not a reality." Do this persistently and over time it will REALLY help. I've improved so much at this since 6 months ago.

For all who are saying it is, this is NOT Tourette's Syndrome. That is something completely different. This is just overwhelming negative thoughts and a need to release the emotions, I think.


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## LeeAnne1990 (Jun 24, 2012)

thinkstoomuch101 said:


> i just did some research, and watched a few videos on this.. i don't think this is tourette's at all..


What video? Can you give me a link please?


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## LeeAnne1990 (Jun 24, 2012)

Mairie said:


> Oh my goodness LeeAnne, I do this too. Usually swear words; I used to say "I hate myself" and other things along those lines until I forced myself to stop. Lots of times I just moan a lot.
> 
> Are you a feeler/thinker? Lots of times I can't stop thinking and remembering and feeling things, and I have to get my emotions out somehow. It sounds like you experience strong emotions that your mind needs a release for.
> 
> ...


Yes! When I have these thoughts, I feel like I am reliving the moment all over again. I get the same exact negative feelings I had when the incident happened.

I will try your suggestion. Thanks!


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## JustKittenRightMeow (Jul 25, 2011)

That sometimes happens to me if I think of something that really embarrassed me and made me feel like crap. I would usually just yell out the F word or some crap like "why did I do that?" "get over it!" or "god dammit" "I hate myself!" LOL then realize I didn't mean to say it out loud. I remember one time in walmart, I was just standing in the book section trying to find a book and then I randomly remember something that happened years ago and I said "idiot" way too loudly just as this old lady was walking by and I felt so bad because she thought I was talking to her >.> I get so caught up in my own thoughts that I can't control my mouth when I open it. Sometimes I also grunt, growl, twitch or just make a random weird noise. 

Doctors thought I had tourettes when I was younger but haven't had much since my annoying days. I don't think this is tourettes like a lot seem to think.


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## LeeAnne1990 (Jun 24, 2012)

No problem. I'm glad I have someone to talk about this to now.


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## thinkstoomuch101 (Jun 7, 2012)

probably the most useful info is look it up on wikipedia. There is an area further down on the page giving example of children with tourettes disease.

Pretty interesting, because i tend to use some of their facial expressions.. Some have a "tic" and some just have a verbal "bark"?


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## thinkstoomuch101 (Jun 7, 2012)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tourette_syndrome


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## coolbeans87 (Feb 11, 2011)

hehe i do this often too, for example sometimes when i'm watching a movie and when a scene reminds me of a not-so-great moment in my past i can't help but shout out either an obscenity or a rehearsed line i may or may have said in the past. happens moreso when i'm high :wink


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## LeeAnne1990 (Jun 24, 2012)

I wonder if anto anxiety medications or anti-deprressants would help this? I noticed around the time I went off all my meds is the time this started happening. I'm a bit afraid to tell my doctor, though. 1. I haven't seen him in YEARs and 2. I have no idea how to explain this to someone.


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## tuneindropout (Nov 14, 2011)

LeeAnne1990 said:


> The thoughts I have are usual embarrassing thoughts about situations that almost everyone has been through. Tripping in front of a bunch of people, saying something stupid. That kind of thing. Like I said, these things can be something that has actually happened, or something I made up in my head. When this happens I usually blurt out a cuss. ''****!'' seems to be my favorite lately... Sometimes I'll blurt out an entire phrase like "'I hate My self'' or '' ****! I'm gong to kill myself!'' ( even though I do not have suicidal tendencies).
> 
> I know I might not be explaining this well so I found a thread on another forum where the posters are having this same problem. they explain what happes better than i do.
> 
> http://ask.metafilter.com/97265/Compelled-to-Blurt


OMG! I'm glad to have a kindred spirit - often when I am day dreaming and thinking of embarrassing moments or my social failures, I'll say out loud, usually mumbling, phrases like "I want to kill myself" "I want to kill everyone" "I hate myself" (depending on what I was thinking)

I don't actually _mean_ them, but I don't cuss so I guess that's just my way of expressing extreme frustration/pain...I know it's not as bad as your shouting, but my habit is along the same lines as your problem.


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## fire mage64 (Jun 20, 2011)

Well those "embarrassing events" must have been MORTIFYING for you to do that. Is it hard for you to forget about the past? When I ruminate I find myself always going to the past. I try not to get too frustrated though - there's nothing I can do about what has already been done.


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## John3 (Jun 27, 2012)

ikallie95 said:


> OMG same thing happens to me. Well, I don't curse or yell. I just flinch really bad. Like make a sound or something. And its really annoying. I'm actually kinda glad right now that I'm not the only one that does this. But, the only time I do it really bad is when I think about something embarrassing that already happened to me. When it's a made up scenario I usually flinch a little and then laugh and think "what if that really were to happen?"
> Maybe if i keep doing this it'll get so bad I'll start cursing 0_o I hope not.


I do the same thing.

It's probably as simple as the brain sensing "danger" in the same way that a spider lands on you or you trip and fall. Reliving an unpleasant experience is uncomfortable and triggers the pain/anxiety reflex, or fight or flight response, or whatever you want to call it.



LeeAnne1990 said:


> I wonder if anto anxiety medications or anti-deprressants would help this? I noticed around the time I went off all my meds is the time this started happening. I'm a bit afraid to tell my doctor, though. 1. I haven't seen him in YEARs and 2. I have no idea how to explain this to someone.


Medications will regulate your brain's neurotransmitters, they cannot regulate your thoughts. That being said, on an anti-anxiety medication, the likelihood/frequency of having these thoughts may decrease.

For an analogy, never leaving your house will decrease your chances of injuring yourself, but if you choose to run around your house with scissors, you are likely to get cut.

Don't be afraid to tell your doctor you stopped taking the medication. People do this all the time, in fact he would probably assume this anyway given the fact that it's been so him since you've seen him. It's your body, you have the right to decide what you put in it and when. You don't owe any type of explanation.


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## aquarius0204 (Jan 7, 2013)

I do the same thing. Have done it for years. My kids look at me like I'm nuts every time I do this. I can pretty much control it around other people. I guess it's because I do have time to daydream around my children. I'm usually to nervous around others to relax enough to daydream. Makes me feel better to know there are others that have experienced this as well.


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## emmaverlac (Jan 1, 2013)

*Me too!*

I've just recently started to do this. Whenever i think about embarressing situations i will hit the wall or tell myself to shutup. Out loud. Or i might just swear. It seems to stop what i'm thinking which is why i do it. I don't have any solutions though.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)

Yeah it definitely sounds like tourette's syndrome. The symptoms are made worse when you are feeling anxious or certain emotions, it doesn't have to be consistent all the time. Some individuals have it worse than other's.

You may also be interested in reading here though:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tourettism

as it's true that tics can be present in other disorders other than tourette's

also this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tic_disorder


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## KentuckyFan (Dec 12, 2012)

Instead of shouting my face just blushes when I think of embarrassing things


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## evelyn11 (Jan 14, 2012)

I constantly have the urge to shout out random things in social situations, especially if every one is in silence like if I'm in a class room.. for some reason I always feel the urge to scream "VAGINAAAAAA" ...but I don't haha


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## meedo (Oct 4, 2011)

Bhikkhu said:


> Holy crap. I thought I was the only person who did that!! When I think about a really embarrassing situation that happened from any time in my life, this overwhelming urge sometimes comes super fast (like in 1/4 second) and I just blurt out a swear word. I don't even swear much normally, but i'll say something hyper aggressive and in an angry tone, like "F**k you!!" to noone, or maybe to myself i'm not sure.
> 
> It doesn't happen that often, and like someone mentioned, usually while daydreaming.
> 
> I'm just shocked that other people do this, I thought I was totally weird...


EXACTLY the same thing that i do hehe


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## meedo (Oct 4, 2011)

*Same here!*

I have the same stuff.. when i remember an embarrasing moment or i anticipate an anxious event .. i shout '' Get away from me '' lol or i curse or swear .. i also laugh nervously and even laugh at the antagonist in my day dream.

This is NOT Tourette syndrome in ANY WAY .. .. we are here on this forum because we have ''anxiety'' more often than normal. Thus we are easily stressed more often than normal.

We are trying to deal with the cause of our anxiety when we face it in our daydreams. We hate what causes us anxiety so we are antagonistic against it... we curse or swear.. to release the anger and stress inside us ..

I frankly think that containing it is not so healthy. But it decreases naturally when our anxiety decreases. Normal anxiety medication would help. I know it helped with me when i was taking 20 mg Citalopram .

Its anxiety peeps


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## gerxander (Jan 15, 2013)

I'd like to see a video about this, as well. In addition to having more and more random flashbacks as I get older (I'm 31 and this has been happening every day for about 2 years now), I do this at well. Sometimes I do it at night - like I'll sigh loudly or something and my partner will be like "What's wrong?" Sometimes I make a vocal expression like "NO!" or "Jackass". It's always about a situation I screwed up, got embarassed or failed at. Again, like most people here, it happens randomly, not when I'm sitting alone and daydreaming.


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## Omoidekozo (May 27, 2012)

I said this in another thread previously that I do the same as the OP sometimes. It's just symptoms of being so emotionally withdrawn- being trapped in you have for those moments and forgetting your surroundings.


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## Dunnowhatever (Jan 13, 2013)

i used to have this _alot_ , like remember so many embarrasing stuff and groan and imagine being stapped or whatever ( in a cartoonie way ofcorse) to get it out

now i have this very rarely and when i remember something embarrasing i tend to think about the whole situation and analyze it istead. i think it was because i didnt take it seriously, and also me starting to build self esteem ofcourse affected it as well.


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## Skoomax (Aug 28, 2012)

Same problem here

But i usually just whisper it out.


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## Rachama2 (Jan 16, 2013)

Oh My GOD?! This is ''common''? Usually when I think about embarrassing stuff I shout like AAH or something or just some sort of pathetic attempt to shout something.. And then I feel really silly for shouting something.. I usually only do this when I''m on my own though.. When I''m out in public I cant shout but then I feel worse, then when I do get to shout.. It feels like this bad energy is locked or something.. Is there a way to like, not feel this embarrassed?


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## Disintegration (Sep 8, 2012)

Yes, this happens to me too, although I don't tend to exclaim random words.

I'll usually swear out loud, saying something like: "Shut up, you piece of ****, you're pathetic, what the **** is wrong with you, ****...". This happens mostly when I'm alone.
I don't usually swear, but it just happens when my mind recovers embarrassing memories.

Sometimes while I'm walking and an embarrassing episode surfaces, I'll start to slow down, or even stop dead in my tracks. 
I'll be totally enveloped in day-dreams and not give a rats *** about anything or anyone until the thought passes.


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## modus (Apr 27, 2011)

I didn't know other people did this.. that makes me feel better. I used to mumble and shake my head. Now I just say "dismiss" in my head and it goes away. Weird habit but it works.


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## Bakemono (Aug 7, 2009)

This topic reminds me of the book "Death of A Salesman". The same thing afflicted Willy Loman, he was plagued by the memories of his failures as a father, a Husband, and a person in general. He couldn't reconcile his past so he punished himself with his memories. He tried to "correct" his bad memories by acting out delusions that made things more palatable for his mind.


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## Ricebunnyx3 (Sep 1, 2010)

I don't shout things, but I'll say things out loud and it's usually often "I hate myself" sometimes I wonder if people can hear me lol, but I do usually say it in kind of a whisper.
I also do movements (shaking my head) and make facial expressions as well when I think of embarrassing things, but I think they're more dramatic when I'm alone than when I'm in public (hopefully)


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## Alwaysanxiousgirl (Aug 29, 2012)

Omg I do this too!

I don't shout things, but I make weird noises. I only do it when I'm by myself, but sometimes if I'm lost in my thoughts and something embarrassing just pops in my mind I'll do in public too. Hardly anyone notices though. But omg I thought I was the only one.


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## Picturesque (Jan 13, 2013)

Oh, when I think of embarrassing things I do, I never really shout it. I just keep it in mind


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## Anxietyriddled (Jan 5, 2013)

The painful memories that haunt me cause me to panic briefly when dwelled upon. Often times I'll say with intense emotion some thing to counter the feeling the memory gives me. One of the lines I've been saying a lot lately is "I'm not a loser!". I'll also shake my head side to side as if I'm trying to scrub something out of my mind and I'll shout "erase it!erase it!!erase it!!!" Ya, I guess I'm a little psychologically disturbed. We all need to let the past die and move on. **** you past! **** youuuu!! I'm not a losa!!!!


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## cozenedjourneyman (Jan 18, 2013)

I have had these "flashback" type events since I was very young... I would say around 10-12 although I don't remember anything that seems traumatic enough to warrant them.
It seems strange to imagine that this might be attached to my anxiety because as a child I was generally pretty happy and outgoing without many fears.

They come on suddenly most often in idle time. As a kid they came on rarely as I kept myself quite busy in those days. But these days I don't have much to do because I don't leave the house, I have been a recluse for as long as 3 years now.
Whenever I think of going out I feel this uneasiness build inside me and until recently I had no idea what it might mean but now I suspect it may be from fear of lashing out randomly in public.

For me this problem manifests in a variety of ways... less often physically but there have been occasions where I sit alone on the couch, a painful thought enters my mind and I may punch the cushion.
More often I just swear in a low voice (I am incredibly happy that I have enough control to not say them loudly) or I may just get a dull persistent pain in the back of my head (my friend thinks these are stress headaches).

Thanks for allowing me a place to share these feelings I hide so desperately in real life.


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## Marytd (Jan 18, 2013)

Okay, I thought this was just a weird thing I did. Thank you for sharing your story. I tend to flinch or groan...sometimes I say things out loud to myself, like "stop it". Its like a knee jerk reaction. I think it is just a way to quickly draw yourself from or distract yourself from a thought or feeling you just can't deal with at the moment...a distraction. Thank you again for sharing! You made my day now that I realize Im not the only one.


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## LeeAnne1990 (Jun 24, 2012)

Bumping to see if anyone new might know what I am speaking of.


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## wildinthestreets (Jul 31, 2013)

Dude.
All the time.


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## Devnet (Jan 12, 2014)

I also have this. While it's frustrating and mysterious it's comforting to know so many people also have this. I used to be able to hide it, but am finding myself having to create cover stories. I will sometimes say oh my god or mumble something that doesn't make sense. My usual excuse is "I was thinking out loud sorry" and try to laugh it off. That's the best case scenario. I started off saying "I love you!" How strange that others say the same thing. I think it had something to do with self acceptance. My ticks are also triggered by embarrassing thoughts. However as I've gotten older , I've started saying more disturbing things, sometimes sexual or vulgar. My Roomate heard me once and I couldn't think of a cover story and all I could do was deny it like a crazy person. I literally will sometimes cover my mouth to prevent from saying things. How bad is this going to get? I wish there was some easy fix.


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## Ai (Oct 13, 2012)

This happens to me too, actually. Except instead of shouting I do one of two things: blush and puff out my cheeks absent-mindedly or begin singing something at random. I've actually done the latter since I was very little... It's like a compulsion. There's really no predicting or avoiding it...


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## LeeAnne1990 (Jun 24, 2012)

I just realized that when I am imagining these embarrassing scenarios, I'm actually have a maladaptive daydream.


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## RavenGo (Jun 24, 2014)

I do this alot and i think blurting out things is my way of diverting my brain's attention away from that frustrating memory.  what's worse is that i have alot of those memories and as time goes by they keep adding up. When i think about it, some of those memories are not really cringe worthy but apparently, my brain thinks the opposite :/


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## ttull (Feb 26, 2018)

I actually made an account because of this thread. I have no idea what to do about the randomly blurting out thing, but dear God it's nice to know that it's at least a semi-common thing.


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## AnxietyCat18 (Mar 3, 2018)

Also just made account. Been suffering through saying 'I hate myself' out loud for the past5+ years. It first started with saying "Exs name, I love you." And then that transformed into "His name, I hate you." And now it's just simply "I hate myself." Over and over and over again. 

Finally in therapy, but no solution yet. Hoping it will decrease with learning to manage my anxiety, but this is an exhausting condition. I don't actually hate myself, and it's overwhelming to explain to others.

Also, when in a classroom setting, I'm somehow able to control it by writing it down instead of speaking it. I usually catch it when I'm writing it, and quickly scratch it out. It drives me crazy, because I feel like I should be able to just NOT say or write it at all. It's definitely gotten worse over the years. 

Has anyone found help for this? The more internet searches I do, the more I realize I am not alone in this--which is at least somewhat comforting.


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## melancholyscorpio (Aug 14, 2015)

I do this too. I think it is normal.

I would remember something embarrassing and swear. I do this in private though.


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