# Childlike personality in adults as a coping mechanism for SAD etc?



## Shy Kitten (Sep 3, 2015)

Hi,

I am 18 and I have been diagnosed with BPD. I have an imbalanced "persona" of either being very, very serious, determined, intellectual and a person beyond my years or childlike. 
I love my soft toys, trampolines, swings, going out for ice creams on the beach, I wear childish things (such as this pink fluffy beanie) a lot, drink out of childish Hello Kitty drink bottles, skip or walk with a childish gait, giggle a lot, and I speak very softly with a high pitched voice. Add to this, I am incredibly shy. I do this subconsciously. 
Often people find this to be endearing and adorable. However, sometimes I feel ashamed like it makes me a loser or something.

I honestly think it might be a way of comforting myself when I am anxious in social situations. 

Does anyone else experience the same thing?


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## LotusBloom (May 30, 2015)

Hey there Shy Kitten. 
You do sound very cute! And there was nothing I read that sounded like you should be ashamed of.
You just have your own style and personality. And that's that. 

I used to have classmates that liked cute stuff, meowed, and we were seniors in high school. Other people who weren't covered in kiddy stuff had their characteristic habits too. Everyone has their own tic. My K-12 years were filled with that. In my experience, some people I met in college had a cute personality, items, and wardrobe. 

I have animal plushies, kiddy cute stuff I wear sometimes, and the list continues. I like candy but so do many other people.
I don't walk with a childish gait though. I like to look strong and capable so I keep in mind to have good posture when standing or walking. 

I think my oldest brother is super cute oftentimes because of his personality and that's just the way he is!
People of all ages enjoy things that aren't only reserved for babies and kids you know. Haha!

Feeling comfort in social situations by doing the stuff you mentioned should be a good thing, right.


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## versikk (Nov 25, 2013)

> I honestly think it might be a way of comforting myself when I am anxious in social situations.


Yes, this is definitely a factor at least.

I don't have BPD, but I don't have a problem with being "childlike", not that I am as much as you are, but I just don't see the point in "growing up" if you will.

But yes, in case of it being a coping mechanism, it is a form of regression. Regression is what gives you that feeling of being secure. All people regress to some degree; for example being lovey-dovey with your partner and using "baby talk" with your partner is a form of regression, because it feeds that childlike sense of being in a secure environment. Some people take regression so far as to become infantilists, where they roleplay that they are babies, sometimes for hours per day (for some it's sexual, for some it's not).

Another form of regression is in the sexual realm, where for example you roleplay that you are an animal.

It all comes down to responsibilty and the fear of having to have responsibility as all adults (for some reason IMO) need to be responsible people. Children do not need that burden of responsibility, and that's why acting like a child is an attractive alternative to being an adult with lots of responsibilities.

You should be who you are comfortable with being, but I think it's a good idea to try and shed some of your childlike behaviour, not because I am against it, but so that you may become less shy and more confident. A person who is very close to me acts in similar ways, and to me it is definitely a sign of "not wanting to grow up".


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

dude 18 is a child lol. youre gucci.


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## Shy Kitten (Sep 3, 2015)

Imbored21 said:


> dude 18 is a child lol. youre gucci.


In my country it is not


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## fairy12 (Oct 2, 2013)

All people regress to a degree with any mental or psychological issue. Sometimes a lack of confidence or anxiety can trigger regression. It is a coping mechanism, certainly. Nothing is wrong with you. If you're comfortable, then OK.


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## lonerroom (May 16, 2015)

Shy Kitten said:


> Hi,
> 
> I am 18 and I have been diagnosed with BPD. I have an imbalanced "persona" of either being very, very serious, determined, intellectual and a person beyond my years or childlike.
> I love my soft toys, trampolines, swings, going out for ice creams on the beach, I wear childish things (such as this pink fluffy beanie) a lot, drink out of childish Hello Kitty drink bottles, skip or walk with a childish gait, giggle a lot, and I speak very softly with a high pitched voice. Add to this, I am incredibly shy. I do this subconsciously.
> ...


You are a free spirit and you are unique from the bitter adults. Please don't ever stop being childlike, embrace what you are and try to make others be more like you. Adults are mean, bitter, boring, have zero imagination, their only idea of fun is to get drunk or do drugs most of the time, try to encourage people to be more like you. The world needs more people like you. Sure there is a time to be responsible but you can still be child-like too. Remaining childlike is one sign you are still a genuine good person  please please don't become the mean typical boring adult. Please don't become like them stay as you are  if only other people would be like you, the world wouldn't be so miserable.


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## EchoIX (Jul 5, 2015)

The stuff about you being childlike isn't necessarily an issue. There are plenty of folk who think it's acceptable and we all have our quirks.

What appears to be the big problem is the BPD diagnosis. http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder/index.shtml
If you have BPD, you need to get help and you're probably going to have to be in therapy for quite some time and even then maintaining relationships is going to be challenging to say the least. The link above should probably give you a good idea as to why. I'm very sorry to hear you have it. It's a very difficult disorder for the one suffering it, it also takes a pretty heavy toll on those around the sick person.
Best of luck.


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## Recessive J (Feb 18, 2014)

Omg yes, I do exactly the same thing. Except I'm more into Pokémon than Hello Kitty haha 

Whenever I'm in an anxious situation in public, I usually try to play it cute, I guess I feel like people might feel sympathy for me rather than just think I'm weird lol. I probably look ridiculous but still xD

But hey, having some of our childish behaviour intact isn't a bad thing, we should embrace it!  Not saying we can't be mature adults, but sometimes it's nice to let go of our boring lives for a bit and do childish things. Lately when I've been stuck at home and feeling depressed and bored, I've tried doing things like colouring in or watching kids shows, just for like half an hour, and actually it really helps.


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## Shy Kitten (Sep 3, 2015)

EchoIX said:


> The stuff about you being childlike isn't necessarily an issue. There are plenty of folk who think it's acceptable and we all have our quirks.
> 
> What appears to be the big problem is the BPD diagnosis. http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder/index.shtml
> If you have BPD, you need to get help and you're probably going to have to be in therapy for quite some time and even then maintaining relationships is going to be challenging to say the least. The link above should probably give you a good idea as to why. I'm very sorry to hear you have it. It's a very difficult disorder for the one suffering it, it also takes a pretty heavy toll on those around the sick person.
> Best of luck.


My BPD has been okay recently, I had some issues with some people but I have cleared them up now. I don't need any therapy currently. I'm getting by fine. I am a very shy, reserved person anyway. I am just trying to focus on pulling my life together in the last year of high school before I leave.


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## Search (Apr 20, 2013)

lonerroom said:


> You are a free spirit and you are unique from the bitter adults. Please don't ever stop being childlike, embrace what you are and try to make others be more like you. Adults are mean, bitter, boring, have zero imagination, their only idea of fun is to get drunk or do drugs most of the time, try to encourage people to be more like you. The world needs more people like you. Sure there is a time to be responsible but you can still be child-like too. Remaining childlike is one sign you are still a genuine good person  please please don't become the mean typical boring adult. Please don't become like them stay as you are  if only other people would be like you, the world wouldn't be so miserable.


This is quite a debilitating outlook. I do hope that your able to overcome it sooner than later.


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## lonerroom (May 16, 2015)

Search said:


> This is quite a debilitating outlook. I do hope that your able to overcome it sooner than later.


I don't think so, I didn't say to avoid responsibility, I just think people can have responsibilities without being a cold adult.


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## Search (Apr 20, 2013)

_Adults are mean, bitter, boring, have zero imagination, their only idea of fun is to get drunk or do drugs most of the time ... don't become the mean typical boring adult.

_Just to clarify, these are the limiting words I was referring to.


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## Abbeh (Jul 23, 2015)

I'm very childlike also, and I'm 20. I do believe it's a coping mechanism for anxiety albeit not a good one. There are things I'm terrified of doing so I get my parents or other people to do them for me. I still do things that people much younger than me do, I also relate with them more. I'm trying to push myself out of this because I do need to grow up and take on responsibilities I've been putting off. It can be cute to act young but it can also be hindering.


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