# How to overcome the "everybody is looking at me" syndrome?



## mysteryguy85 (Aug 24, 2008)

I go into a store, look at clothes. I fear the sales lady or whatever has seen me before and is angry that I come in to browse but "never" buy anything. I worry she'll (and I say she as an example, could just as easily be a he!) be thinking in her head 'oh i hate that jerk, he never buys a thing.' 
Then she'll tell her co-workers. And they'll be laughing behind my back. Or maybe I'll reach into my pocket to check my cell phone and somebody will suspect me of stealing. 


Or the coffee shops. I go in, order a coffee, wait for it at the counter. They call it out, I grab it. But maybe they think I'm stealing it and didn't actually pay for the drink. Or maybe the guy before me ordered the exact same drink and I am actually, by mistake, cutting in front of him and taking the drink he waited longer for, and is now going to cause a big scene. 

Or maybe I go for a walk, I look at a car, admire it as I walk by. But now I look suspicious, like a thief, or a vandal for glancing inside the car. Am I going to get confronted for it? 

Or I go to the coffee shop, sit down. Will people wonder why I'm by myself? Are my mannerisms acceptable? Oh no, I just shook a little, maybe people will think there is something wrong with me. Will people notice how often I come in, and wonder if I have no social life, and why I have no friends? 

I have that feeling, that everybody looks at me, all the time, and judges. Anybody else? Tips on overcoming this? 

Thanks!


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## Makaveli (Jul 15, 2009)

This is just part of the SA. It's one of the many anxieties we feel and there have been many times where I have been uptight in this fashion and people may think I'm weird or stealing something. It's a very suffocating feeling indeed.

You'll need to see a therapist or try one of the audio/online therapies (look through this site for options).


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## Makaveli (Jul 15, 2009)

One issue I have is staring. I always look around and make eye contact with everyone in my surroundings and then I get paranoid that people are looking @ me. when really it's the opposite. It's one of the central features of my SA.

Many a time people have walked past me and turned back and wondered WTF i was looking @.


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## Peekaboo91 (Nov 20, 2009)

I struggle with this a lot, but here are some things I tell myself. They don't always make things completely better, but sometimes it helps.

Since I'm the type of person who never has money or can't make up their mind what they want, I usually end up not buying anything at the store. I'm sure this probably annoys the store workers, but if they ever were to say anything about it, I'd just act all huffy and say I'd take my $100 check somewhere else. Haha. And besides, it's their job to serve me. As the customer, I'm allowed to do whatever I want. (Just so long as I don't break any laws or anything, that is... lol)

As far as stealing goes, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, even if they did accuse you of it. Just tell them you didn't steal anything and it wouldn't be that big of a deal. I mean, it wouldn't be that hard to prove. It would be _their_ mistake, _their_ embarrasment. Not yours.

I don't know what to tell you about the coffee shop, but just remember that mistakes happen. I had a guy take my meal at a fast food place by accident, cause he thought it was his order. But then when he realized his mistake, he took it back to the counter and everything got worked out. Sure, it was a little embarrassing, but mistakes happen. I didn't hate him for it or think he was weird or anything.

And it's only natural to be interested in a good looking car... If it's really that nice of a car, I'm sure the owners have had people ask about it or look at it before. And if anyone confronts you, just say you thought it looked nice, possibly make up some question to ask about it.

Eating alone in a restuarant is something I've never been able to do, but if I ever did, I'd probably just tell myself that it's no one's business what I'm doing. So what if they wonder why I'm by myself? For all they know, I have friends coming in just a minute. Or I'm just killing time between college classes or something. I mean, even the most popular people are alone sometimes, right? That doesn't make them weird.

It's hard to deal with all these thoughts. Constantly wondering what others are thinking or afraid you'll make a fool of yourself. And it doesn't go away easily. Or ever, sometimes. I agree that you should see a therapist or something, that's what I'm doing. But in the meantime, just try to combat those negative thoughts any way you know how. (Sorry if this post didn't help much... ha)


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## spacebound_rocketship (Nov 21, 2009)

When I'm in shops I always hold the cash or card out in my hand so the shop keeper can see it...I always feel like they're watching me waiting for me to steal something "/


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## wiima (Jan 28, 2009)

Couple words of encouragement. This is how I almost completely combatted this fear.

Why do you care so much about how those people look at you? You are not going to be best friends with them all anyway! And why should you please everyone? For what do you need everyones approval? There are people who like you and people who dont like you, and always will be no matter how you act.

They are complete strangers, who you probably dont even see ever again. So what, if they judge you?

You are not the center of the world. That is a relieving fact. Why would anyone bother putting so much attention in a random guy? Would you? In reality everyone is busy with their own bussiness.


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## pjm1978 (Sep 28, 2009)

You are overthinking simple situations way too much. The next time you go into a store or coffee shop or whatever, do not think about what other people are thinking. For someone with SA, it will drive you nuts. Just concentrate on what you are there to do and thats it. Hope my advice helps


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

I used to suffer from this badly until I just started telling myself ....to hell with what they are thinking! As long as you know you are not doing anything wrong...then you shouldn't feel guilty. SA makes us feel that we can "read" minds or we tend to assume that others are thinking things that we cannot prove. If we believe they are...then we will begin to act suspiciously which in turn will actually cause them to doubt us. Next time you go for your coffee, stand tall and firm...and know that you have every right to be there just like everyone else. No one is better than you!


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

Makaveli said:


> One issue I have is staring. I always look around and make eye contact with everyone in my surroundings and then I get paranoid that people are looking @ me. when really it's the opposite. It's one of the central features of my SA.
> 
> Many a time people have walked past me and turned back and wondered WTF i was looking @.


Me too! This is one of my main problems. How about when you are waiting to pay for your stuff and there is a long line of people behind you...it's excruciating because they actually are staring at you and probably hoping and praying that you won't take too long. For this reason I always pay with a card and if I do pay with cash...I try not to pay the exact amount if there is change involved (anything to make it quicker helps!) And please...don't talk about self checkouts... I did with my husband once and he had such a hard time with it...I vowed I would never do it again.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I pretend I am on a sitcom - ALWAYS #1 in the ratings.
The Millennium Man Show - starring ME! :lol
Season 5: Episode 42 - MM goes to the mall. Security cameras are everywhere. What does he do? Walks up to one and smiles!


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## New (Aug 9, 2009)

I used to have little worries like that, but it gets exhausting thinking like that all the time. I paid for my coffee, so I am going to take it and walk away without guilt. Don't they hand you a receipt? I got over most of those things, if I am just looking than I am just looking, who cares? I know I am not going to steal anything, so I'm not going to worry about others thinking I am. I still have this feeling like there is always someone looking at me though, and I am usually right! I live in an extremely crowded place, and having red hair makes me stand out like a sore thumb. I am mostly thinking about how I look to guys ( you pervs are always checking out anything that remotely resembles a female :b ) despite telling myself I don't care, haha. I really don't think I am so special or pretty that people are staring at me all the time, but I just don't know how to get over it. My neck muscles kind of freeze up when I notice someone looking at me and I end up twitching! How awful is that? Lol, sorry, I started rambling about myself. :blush


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## Jayne311 (Aug 20, 2009)

Last week I felt the same way when I went out, but when I think about it today, I don't care anymore. So when you are in a situation like that, think how you'll feel the next day. Will you even remember the people around you that you were afraid were watching you? Probably not.


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## Makaveli (Jul 15, 2009)

Surely this has to be one of the main experiences with severe SA? I've had this issue for as long as I can remember, even from age 4-5. I'd always hate doing show and tell in primary school and would dread people staring.


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## britisharrow (Jun 18, 2009)

I would recommend you investigate Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and go along those lines.

In the short term, think of two things:

1) Do you notice other people that much when you are shopping, even if you see someone with a profound limp or facial disfigurement, do you really think about it for that long afterwards?

2) In situations where you are unfairly treated it can be helpful to adopt a **** you attitude - but don't ever say that to someone who you think is going to turn violent on you. If someone skips you in the line, say excuse me I was standing there, and if they say no you weren't, say **** you I mean it get out of my way.

"**** you" can get you places. But do a risk assessment: don't ever say it someone you think likely to physically harm you in response.


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## grrungis (Oct 17, 2009)

paranoid


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## secretlyshecries (Sep 10, 2009)

> paranoid


That's not very helpful. It's not like people can simply flick a switch and stop feeling this way.

I have the same problem though not quite as severe as the OP. I don't, for example, obsess as much over the people thinking about me much later (over small things at least) and I can definitely look at a car without thinking that it looks like I'm a thief or what have you, lol. But I do struggle walking down the street and thinking everyone is looking at me. It sucks that I've told a handful of people this before and they always just make me feel like I'm really self-absorbed to be thinking that everyone is looking at me. So that always makes me feel really **** because it's like they're saying it's all in my head, I'm crazy, and on top of that I'm apparently self-obsessed. Not helpful.


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## Vitruvia (Jul 29, 2009)

Completely understand your problem. I, like "New" have red hair, so even if I was being paranoid about people looking, I kind of know that I DO stand out and get noticed. This doesn't effect me quite as badly these days because I decided that when I had those feelings of everyone looking at me, I focus on something outside of myself to remove the negative self-dialogue. 

For example, I may be walking along the street and be feeling uncomfortable and like I'm painted in neon and have a banner over my head saying "Look at the person all on her own, she must have no friends and be a complete loser"...etc. I will start looking at the sky, or the trees and admire the beauty around me and try to take some joy in my environment. It makes me feel like I'm more connected with my surroundings, while at the same time I start to feel and imagine I am in a safe orb of light, or a bubble, where I can't be seen by others. I kind of imagine a forcefield around myself that I can look out of but others can't see in. This helps get past the bad feelings, but it doesn't make me hugely receptive to meeting people, but that's ok.


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## Pam (Feb 14, 2009)

My answer to this is similar to Breakfastofchampions. 

I used to think people were looking at me and were disgusted by me. Like I am so repulsive, they are making faces at me as I walk by in the mall, or grocery store. (in reality, I'm not ugly) 

One day, for some unknown reason, I decided to look at them. I looked at this person then another one, etc. Well, to my surprise and relief, hardly anyone was even looking at me. And the ones who were, looked at me like normal. No faces of disgust or anything.

So, you could try to go out of your way a bit to test it.


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## TorLin (Nov 14, 2006)

simple rule : do not think that everybody is looking at you !


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## britchick (Oct 27, 2009)

I have this syndrome too. I especially hate it when my friends are sitting at the top of one of those big movie theaters and I have to go to the restroom. And then when I walk back up, I feel as though everyone in the entire movie theater is staring and talking about me (even though they probably are not even paying any attention to me while watching the movie). I usually try to avoid going to the restroom because of this, and because I don't want to miss the movie. But for me, the worst is going to the movies by yourself. I've never done it, but I would feel like everyone's thinking "Wow, she must not have any friends to go the movies with." Or I'll see somebody I know and then they'll start thinking that I'm a loner for going to the movies by myself. 

But as far as tips, all you can try to do is not worry about it, because 90% of the time, they're not even paying attention to you. I know it's easier said than done, but that's really all you can do. And whatever you do, hold your head up, because when you hold your head down all the time it brings more attention to you. And then people might even realize that you have low self esteem.


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## epril (Mar 24, 2009)

I'm often afraid people think I'm trying to steal because I'm usually alone, and I think I look uncomfortable and I walk very slowly and look at everything and stare. When salespeople walk by I try to avoid them, and I'm always looking around because I don't want to be startled.


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## myhalo123 (Nov 18, 2009)

I can so relate to all of this. I know I drive the security people nuts in stores - or I think I do. They must watch me on the cameras and think I am up to something, one minute over here and the next minute over there. Completely random, all over the place. It definitely doesn't help taking out the cell and putting it back in your pocket, but I've got to text or fiddle with it when I am alone in a store. I can't imagine "normal' people worry about the security people watching them! I don't know about anyone else, but if I am with someone or a group of people all of this is almost nonexistent. It's all my own insecurities and negative thoughts when I am alone that overwhelmes the ol'brain.


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## travisjsmith (Nov 23, 2009)

I sometimes feel like that I'm being watched like on the movie The Truman Show. I hope it's not a sign of paranoid schizophrenia. :|


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## stars (Nov 20, 2009)

Whoever you think is looking at you, just look at them once. They probably won't be looking. And if they are, they will have a reason. I can guarantee most of the time they won't be looking.


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## Makaveli (Jul 15, 2009)

It's easier said than done do just not think about it. This is a major focal point of my SA. The feeling of being looked at - when you walk in a cafeteria or busy foodcourt, when you enter a room where everyone is seated, or enter a nightclub etc. Plus I generally look around because I'm so paranoid people are looking at me but it's really me looking at them and them making eye contact back.

I would have to say this is one of my biggest fears in relation to SA. I'd have thought alot more people would be feeling like this on here. I must be doing alright in existing if many of the people with severe SA don't feel this. Those who do know how it feels know exactly how hard it is. I stare so much in sussing out my surroundings and people say "why is he looking at me" or "what are you staring @" which really gets me down because I'm not meaning to.

Not sure if CBT will help, I know it's a case of realising that people are minding their own business and you aren't the centre of the universe but I've tried that and it doesn't make me less anxious. Maybe I need to see a hypnotist!

I ****en hate SA and depression honestly. I swear it's taken over my life virtually from day 1 and limited my potential so much. People always tell me I have the potential to be anything but without sounding like a sook I really do lay the reason on my severe SA and clinical depression.


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## Makaveli (Jul 15, 2009)

TorLin said:


> simple rule : do not think that everybody is looking at you !





polythene said:


> Sounds a bit like a persecution complex you have there; I do something similar. Even before I developed anxiety, I often felt like I was being scrutinized in settings (usually retail stores) where people might suspect me of doing something out of line (like stealing). If frequent exposure to these kinds of situations hasn't helped you, ask yourself - what's the worst that could happen?
> 
> If you haven't stolen anything and a salesclerk harasses you about shoplifting, you can easily file a complaint - most shop employees actually refrain from detaining someone suspected of stealing, even when they have SEEN that person blatantly taking an item without paying for it. Same goes for the cafe scenario, and you could easily tell a suspicious car owner that you were just admiring their car.
> 
> wiima said it well - unless you live in a tiny town, there's virtually a 0% chance you'll run into these people again. *Think about the people you encounter daily - even the 'weird' ones - do they stay in your memory? Do you judge them unduly and harshly when you've just glanced at them walking past or, at most, exchanged 2 sentences with them? I'm guessing not. As long as you keep to yourself without causing a scene, people won't notice or care what you're doing*.


That's the thing. I don't notice it or remember after a while and I know I don't. But I can't get my head around the opposite and that's how I am noticed by others. Afterall, if we had this very logical notion that you put above then we wouldnt care about others and what they thought and would therefore not have much SA to even be bothered about!


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## MissJenJ (Nov 25, 2009)

wiima said:


> You are not the center of the world. That is a relieving fact. Why would anyone bother putting so much attention in a random guy? Would you? In reality everyone is busy with their own business.


Exactly. Egocentricism. People are completely consumed with themselves, you are just the center of your own reality.

Just maybe for some comfort... I used to work in retail and the last thing I thought was that people were stealing. The only reason I would be looking at a customer would be to see if they needed any help. I never cared if a customer would just leave. It just made my job easier because I didn't have to help them. I would imagine most associates feeling the same way unless they get commission from purchases, which most don't .

More than likely the only time a person would accuse you of shop lifting is if they actually saw you do it. Baristas, sales associates, whatever... are there to serve you the customer, so the last thing they want to do is offend the customer by wrongly accusing them of stealing-consequently loose business.

I used to feel this way too, and still do at times. It's just a mind set really though. Just try to put yourself in the other people's minds... If I were the owner of the sweet ride would I more likely think "That person is trying to steal it" or would I think " I know I totally have awesome tastes in cars".

As far as going to a coffee shop alone there is no proper etiquette. There are so many weirdos in the coffee shops I go to you would hardly stand out even if you weren't acting completely "normal". *Also going to a place alone makes you easier to approach than in a group... and frequently doing this staff will recognize you and more than likely start talking to you. My friend has met so many people just being brave and going out alone... she is my inspiration.


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## Wanthelp (Apr 18, 2010)

Wow, I'm at the same situation as you OP.

How are you guys taking care of it?


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## Falcons84 (Feb 8, 2010)

I just noticed that I ALWAYS think everyone is watching me. My friend asked for me to look around to see if anyone was looking at us cuz he was gonna do something that could have gotten us in trouble so Im like "yeah people are looking at us" and the people were sooo far away from us and he started laughing cuz they werent. I always think that if someone looks at me once or is facing my directing that they are looking at me or are thinking about me.


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## Falcons84 (Feb 8, 2010)

I have the same EXACT problem as you too, OP


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## Ambivert (Jan 16, 2010)

mysteryguy85 said:


> I go into a store, look at clothes. I fear the sales lady or whatever has seen me before and is angry that I come in to browse but "never" buy anything. I worry she'll (and I say she as an example, could just as easily be a he!) be thinking in her head 'oh i hate that jerk, he never buys a thing.'
> Then she'll tell her co-workers. And they'll be laughing behind my back. Or maybe I'll reach into my pocket to check my cell phone and somebody will suspect me of stealing.
> 
> Or the coffee shops. I go in, order a coffee, wait for it at the counter. They call it out, I grab it. But maybe they think I'm stealing it and didn't actually pay for the drink. Or maybe the guy before me ordered the exact same drink and I am actually, by mistake, cutting in front of him and taking the drink he waited longer for, and is now going to cause a big scene.
> ...


Feel the same...paranoia...it eats me alive like pacman eats jellyfish.


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## fictionz (Nov 18, 2006)

You're not alone in this. But I keep telling to myself when I do feel that way, if I am not doing anything wrong, why bother with what others are thinking?? I am not stealing, why be worried of them thinking that I am stealing?? Keep thinking like that to yourself. That thing about being alone too bothers me still, even a roommate was like, "you're going there all alone?" when all I wanted was just to go have lunch and simply come back home, but really, everybody goes to places on their own sometimes so what is the problem?


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## fredbloggs02 (Dec 14, 2009)

So what if they look! It's most probably because I look so ****ing good lol! Either that or I'm doing something strange like looking nervous or shifty. Either way, who gives man!? I have a disorder so yes I behave strengely, yes I look shifty, yes this causes people to look at me....Just accept it and go about your life and when you stop caring, ironically, that's when you come across more naturally. The only way to take the city is through the city.


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## Sunshine009 (Sep 21, 2008)

You can say to yourself that "everyone notices their surroundings and I am part of their surroundings, and men look at women naturally and women look at women's clothes and hairstyle etc, naturally to learn style and it is all okay"


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## Zomg (Feb 16, 2010)

millenniumman75 said:


> I pretend I am on a sitcom - ALWAYS #1 in the ratings.
> The Millennium Man Show - starring ME! :lol
> Season 5: Episode 42 - MM goes to the mall. Security cameras are everywhere. What does he do? Walks up to one and smiles!


HAHA that's hilarious xD


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## Zappa (Apr 15, 2010)

I have this pretty badly I find sunglasses help a lot for me for some reason, Physical barrier between my eyes and theirs /shrug


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## Katiie (Apr 19, 2010)

I feel the same way when i'm shopping, like all the shop assistance are watching everything i do, and so i get really nervous. Funny thing is, is that i am a shop assistance , i work in a clothing store! What you need to remember is that they are there to help you, and u have every right to be in that store as they do, plus they want people to come into their store! And there's no problem with just browsing, I have customers that regularly come in to browse. A lady i use to work with use to say, 'browsing's for free, so you can browse as much as you want', or it was something like that. Plus, if there looking over at you, maybe they're waiting to see if you want help with something, that's why i look over at customers


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## SAgirl (Nov 15, 2003)

Breakfast0fChampions said:


> When I started my medication the first thing I did in class was look up and look at everyone in the room to see if they were really looking at me or not. None of them were. I did this several times during the class, whenever I felt that they must be looking at me. I've done this in the full school cafeteria, too. No one was looking at me.
> 
> Whenever you feel this way, get the courage to look around you and you'll most likely find no one is looking at you, or maybe just one person here or there is looking at you. But definitely not _everyone_. It's a little bit like being a kid afraid of what's under the bed, and mustering up the courage to turn on the light and take a good look under the bed to settle things.


Great Post! This really does work and is quite useful.


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

I feel like I'm being stared at too sometimes. That's why I don't usually go out.


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## trancediva88 (Aug 11, 2008)

_God i go through the same thing! It cripples me sometimes.. i hate it.... Still working on trying to get past that with my therapist. He says to keep distracted so I will become really consumed in my current conversation when I go to a restaurant. It seems to help a little. I dont really go out by myself so I dont know how to overcome it then.. _


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## Groundskeeper (Feb 6, 2010)

I get the same way sometimes. It's not as bad when I'm in a crowded area, but it gets really uncomfortable for me when I go into a small mom and pop type shop where there's only a few employees and hardly anyone in the store. That makes me really uncomfortable for some reason.


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## WTFnooooo (Mar 27, 2010)

There are many advices here to combat this problem.

I find it helpful that you need to understanding that your body holds your brain and your brain interprets the outside world. That what you are feeling is an illusion created by yourself.
Of course, this stoic concept is easier said than done.

Where does this type of paranoia comes from?
I guess it has to do a lot with discouragement from people you grew up with, specially parents. They try to prevent even an attempt that might result in doing something that fails.
Narcissistic parents that make immature comments like "why didn't I wear a condom", "why did I buy you that", "why did I sent you to that school", making you feel sorry for your own self.
Verbal threats and the rest of anything discouraging that as a kid makes you wonder, gee maybe I am a bad person, and you develop a *guilty conscience*.


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## BruceA (Apr 15, 2010)

This is one of the biggest symptoms of social anxiety. I try to think of something funny to take my mind off of it. It also good to go with a friend/girlfriend/or family members then going into places alone.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

i feel the same way specially when i’ve been home all day, like on a sunday, and then decide to go to the store. when people stare at me i feel like whale poo. so i haven’t really learned how to overcome it but it’s a work in progress.


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## mike8803 (Feb 21, 2010)

pjm1978 said:


> You are overthinking simple situations way too much. The next time you go into a store or coffee shop or whatever, do not think about what other people are thinking. For someone with SA, it will drive you nuts. Just concentrate on what you are there to do and thats it. Hope my advice helps


+1


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## lonelygirl88 (Dec 25, 2009)

man i'd love to shake that feeling. if ever i walk into a room/store, etc alone, i usually feel like everyone is staring at me, mainly guys. it makes me very uncomfortable. i tend to avoid eye contact. i don't know if it's in my head or what. many times if i look around someone is lol. i agree with someone's previous comment about the smaller stores, that's really uncomfortable b/c u've got their entire attention.


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## milo001 (Nov 26, 2008)

i have it as well.

"The peoples in the bus is staring at me because i'm nervous and i might show it out."

"My aunt and grandaunt is talking about me because i didn't come to work in their house today.they are thinking how lazy i am."

"My friends must talk behind my back because i suddenly quit college."(even though i thin this is true)

"The peoples around is looking at how weird i walk."

i know that 90% of this is not true but the suspicious thinking never stop.


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## lonelygirl88 (Dec 25, 2009)

i was thinking of this thread today after I walked into a grocery store. i think the reason it bothers me so much is because people usually do look. esp. the workers at the counters. i'm sure they are just trying to be friendly or see if you want anything, but the 'staring' makes me uncomfortable and i want to shy away from the counter. even when i left the counter and was checking out, i could see him still looking. i'm so shy, i know most people don't even care or pay attention. i wish i could be more comfortable and not care.


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## Karsten (Apr 3, 2007)

Try to realize that you really aren't that important to these people. They most likely could care less what you are doing and aren't looking at you. I don't mean that in a cold way, but you gotta realize you aren't the center of the world. 

Next time you are in a store, look around and see what the people are doing; does it really interest you? I mean, sometimes there's some old guy doing something odd with his coupons, but seriously, does this even grab your attention for more than 2 seconds? Now, apply it to you. Most people are too busy to even care for what you are doing.


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## iuseings (Nov 11, 2009)

I don't really think the "you really aren't all that important" strategy works. Certainly not for the self-esteem. I mean the whole reason I think we feel this overwhelming self-conciousness is because we want to be prepared for any possible social rejection... combined with low self-confidence and self-esteem. 
I have this problem so much that it pretty much is like the sound-track of my brain... whereever I go people are thinking things about me. I know this sounds conceited, but I know the thoughts I think they think aren't true but... it's the _feeling,_ which hurts the most. 
I think the only way to solve it is build a better self-perception so you don't worry about what others think and if you did think about what others may think of you it wouldn't be negative and thus it'll start to lose it's advantage i.e. lose it's purpose.

I wouldn't know the first way to change myself... however, but this is my point of view on it.


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## pita (Jan 17, 2004)

You know what I do? I look at other people. And then I realize that looking at other people isn't that big of a deal. If I can look at other people and have it not be a big deal, then it doesn't matter if other people are looking at me.


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## wxolue (Nov 26, 2008)

When I worry if people are looking at me, it's because I think I have performed an action that other people would react negatively too. This would only bother me if I was trying to perform actions that people would react positively to. Essentially, I am only concerned about people looking at me when I am looking for satisfaction in other people's response to my actions. I reason with myself that instead of designing actions to achieve a response in someone else, which I look to to find satisfaction, I can cut out the middle man, and just perform actions in order to find satisfaction within myself. Instead of performing actions for other people which eventually leads back to my satisfaction, I can go right to the point and perform actions that directly satisfy me.


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## mrfixit (Jun 25, 2009)

> The way i also achieve this, is by not wearing my glasses, so effectively i walk around in a fog. And it works very well.


i might try this by buying some glasses since i don't need any (knock on wood) , the result should be the same.


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## Tweedy (Jan 10, 2010)

mysteryguy85 said:


> I go into a store, look at clothes. I fear the sales lady or whatever has seen me before and is angry that I come in to browse but "never" buy anything. I worry she'll (and I say she as an example, could just as easily be a he!) be thinking in her head 'oh i hate that jerk, he never buys a thing.'
> Then she'll tell her co-workers. And they'll be laughing behind my back. Or maybe I'll reach into my pocket to check my cell phone and somebody will suspect me of stealing.
> 
> Or the coffee shops. I go in, order a coffee, wait for it at the counter. They call it out, I grab it. But maybe they think I'm stealing it and didn't actually pay for the drink. Or maybe the guy before me ordered the exact same drink and I am actually, by mistake, cutting in front of him and taking the drink he waited longer for, and is now going to cause a big scene.
> ...


Are you me???


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## ki11rang3r (Mar 15, 2011)

Thing is, when you get this "everyone is looking at me", you think : "everyone is looking at how bad I look" or even "everyone is looking and talking about me" . 
The solution: 
Tell yourself : "Ok yeh. I do look bad. Now tell me whatchu gonna do?" 
Believe me it really does work. The more you say that the more the "everyone is looking at me" feeling will fade away.


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## Emma1 (Apr 5, 2011)

Tweedy said:


> Are you me???


No it's MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
It's quite shocking how much I identify with the OP 

I feel you OP!!

*sunglasses help A LOT (walking to class is impossible without them)
*listening to music surprisingly drowns out the silent snickers (imaginary paranoia)
*keeping a smile on your face as much as possible helps. people don't stare long at happy people, but rather at people who are visibly freaking out <----- 100% proven and tested! 

Good luck buddy, I feel you so much on this one.
*hugs*


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## vkristin (Feb 2, 2012)

*I can relate*

So glad I finally found this forum. I thought I was the only one with these feelings. I can definitely relate, I also feel as though everyone is watching every little move I make. I struggle to go out because I feel so awkward within my own mind. It gets worse when I'm around lots of people for example at the grocery store, the library, at the park, the movies, driving....literally anywhere. I try to talk myself out of these feelings that are really ruining my life. The other day I went to the laundromat with my kids, I was fine at first but then I noticed video cameras all over the place. I started to panic thinking that someone must be watching me and thinking I'm going to steal something. What could I possibly steal from a laundromat??? Then I noticed the other people around me and wondered if they thought the same thing. I began to feel so out of place and wanted to run out of there!!! I know I am just over thinking way to much and I often tell myself to calm down, they are just people with their own problems and don't even care about me at all. Just when I start to relax I notice some crazy guy staring and this starts the cycle all over again. 
When I notice people approaching me I always look down, I do not like making eye contact. My face freezes up when up when I do and I will be thinking about how horrible I must have looked to that person for the rest of the day. I wish there was something I could do or some medication that would help me with my SA.


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## Family Guy (Jun 16, 2010)

I still have this feeling and I'm trying to get rid of it. It's hard though when sometimes I do see people look at me. That's when I think stuff like "He thought I looked stupid." and "those girls think I'm ugly." People tell me people like to look around, but I always go into deeper meaning than that. I take glances as a threat, and I hate it! Things would be so much better for me if we all walked around with blindfolds on...


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## 1anonymous1 (Jan 28, 2012)

New said:


> My neck muscles kind of freeze up when I notice someone looking at me and I end up twitching! :blush


Omg same! 
Ugh and I am in highschool and there are always these certain people that I can't help staring at because I'm trying to see if they are staring at me or judging me. And if I'm not staring at them I'm quickly walking away, head to the ground, neck twitching, occasionally trembling... haha


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## wootmehver (Oct 18, 2007)

I tend to think that store employees are watching my every move to see if I am going to steal something. If I reach into my pocket to pull out my grocery list from my wallet and then put it back in my pocket, I feel like their eyes are on me in case it's something I stole that I put in my pocket. I can't shake this paranoid feeling I get when I am in a store that I am being scrutinized.


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## MGPElectricGuitar (Jan 7, 2012)

mysteryguy85 said:


> I go into a store, look at clothes. I fear the sales lady or whatever has seen me before and is angry that I come in to browse but "never" buy anything. I worry she'll (and I say she as an example, could just as easily be a he!) be thinking in her head 'oh i hate that jerk, he never buys a thing.'
> Then she'll tell her co-workers. And they'll be laughing behind my back. Or maybe I'll reach into my pocket to check my cell phone and somebody will suspect me of stealing.
> 
> Or the coffee shops. I go in, order a coffee, wait for it at the counter. They call it out, I grab it. But maybe they think I'm stealing it and didn't actually pay for the drink. Or maybe the guy before me ordered the exact same drink and I am actually, by mistake, cutting in front of him and taking the drink he waited longer for, and is now going to cause a big scene.
> ...


I have experienced this, but now I just think to myself "F*** them" It usually works. I just mind my own bussiness, If they don't like me that is there problem. I do hate people that stare though, its very annoying.


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## Aly (Nov 30, 2010)

I experience this everyday. I have that feeling all day in school, especially in the lunch room. I hate it so much.


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