# Zero experience with the opposite sex at age 24



## 24butstayingpositive (Feb 17, 2011)

It seems like I'm the only one I know at the age of 24 that has never been in a relationship or even gotten physical with women. I am a virgin. I've made out w/ a few girls at these drunk fest college parties and that's about it. Never even got their name!

About 5 years ago, I transferred to a university thinking everything will change. I was 20 at the time. Moved out of my parents house to a new city. Literally a college town. Beautiful girls everywhere. I even joined a fraternity! Year after year passed and I thought to myself "ok, not this year but next year for sure I will begin to gain experience w/ the opposite sex". Didn't happen. Here I am, getting ready to graduate. I turn 25 in August. I'm moving back home still looking for a job. I have absolutely no friends back home, so forget about meeting girls! 

I can't even begin to describe the type of loneliness and depression I may experience once I leave this amazing social atmosphere and move back! It's going to be the same as it was 5 yrs ago and I totally did not plan for this! Does anyone have any advice?

I am literally DYING to experience some sort of connection w/ a girl. I think about it so much now that it's been affecting my grades and everything else in life. I feel abnormal and very different from everyone. I don't even know any 21 year olds that are virgins! Even my little sis has a bf now. 

I do have SA. I'm a nervous wreck when meeting the opposite sex. I have been on a few dates and the girl notices my body shaking and probably a red face (never asked anyone how I look when I'm anxious). But I do shake and my voice trembles. It is soooo ****ing embarrassing! No wonder they weren't interested. What's funny though, is that sometimes I'm not that anxious (because I work on ridding it through breathing exercises, etc.) and they still were not interested. 

No girl has ever initiated interest in me. I always did first. I know looks aren't the problem. According to a gay friend of mine "I'm not a bad looking guy at all". I have ADHD and a bit of a learning disability but that shouldn't affect it too much. I have learned how to properly study and deal w/ these issues. I have always had problems making friends though. But I'm better at it than I used to be. However, relating to the opposite sex has had ZERO improvement!!!

Anyone in the same boat as me? Any advice for when I move back to my ****hole of a hometown?


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## robtyl (Sep 2, 2010)

24butstayingpositive said:


> I have... a bit of a learning disability


That's the problem. You've got to learn to play the game, baby. You need to rock out with your c**k out. That's the only way you're going to get to sniffing panties.

x


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## LifeGoesOn (Feb 7, 2011)

Well I'm 21 and still a virgin, so now you know one person! I've never even kissed a guy, so I feel even more lame. :hide


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

If I am nearing thirty-six, that means it makes me 1.5 times as retarded - that's something I really needed to hear :fall


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## heroin (Dec 10, 2010)

Count another in the retard collective. Almost 29 here. Never kissed anyone.


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## confidencelost (Sep 3, 2010)

23 here, same boat. There are a more than you think: both male and female.

Try not to get hung up on a desire for sex or other physical intimacy. I personally think that a desire for an emotional connection with someone else is a much more powerful motivator, and of course the other stuff would then naturally follow. As it should be.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

24butstayingpositive said:


> I don't even know any 21 year olds that are virgins!


That's because nobody wears a scarlet 'V' to help you identify them.


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## Catherine Cavatica (Feb 2, 2011)

robtyl said:


> That's the problem. You've got to learn to play the game, baby. You need to rock out with your c**k out. That's the only way you're going to get to sniffing panties.
> 
> x


^^^^^^^^^^
hahaha I like the way you roll, baby. Super post:boogie:teeth:b


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

Okay, first of all, let's drop the whole "I'm a retard" "i'm lame" thing. Because, yeah, it sucks. But beating yourself up is no way to get girls. Trust me, I know. Times in my life where there has been no female interest in me are the times when I was basically constantly kicking myself for being in a bad place in my life. 

We have no idea what the girl's you've been on dates with noticed or didn't notice and basically, you took a positive (she went on a date with you) and turned it into a negative because you imagined you behaved badly and it didn't lead to sex so obviously it can't have been a good thing, now can it?

What's the goal here? Sex to say: "look at me, I'm a man", sex just for its own sake or love and sex in some sort of relationship? Or something else? What's the goal? What do you want and how will you know when you have got it?


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

22 here and pretty much in the same boat as the OP.


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## Lelsey (Feb 7, 2011)

I am more than 25 and same thing, i have never even held hands with anyone...


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## beherit (Oct 3, 2010)

Ok first ask yourself what do you want here, to lose your virginity Just because everyone has it or do you want someone in life who can understand you and have a good partnership with you? Girls are not fashion accessories. Having a girl or sex isnt going to cure your depression either, you should never let being with someone be detrimental to your mental health, that is a huge burden to put on someone. Be happy with yourself first and the right girl will be attracted to you. You wont attract anyone if you come accross this negative. I didnt start getting attention from girls until my early 20's, but it did happen when i was okay with who i was as a person.


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## joe11 (Jan 22, 2011)

LifeGoesOn said:


> Well I'm 21 and still a virgin, so now you know one person! I've never even kissed a guy, so I feel even more lame. :hide


This, except I am interested in girls.

Also 24butstayingpositive, you say you have zero experience, well I have below zero then. You have made out with girls and gone on dates. I have never done anything with a girl, can't even have a conversation let alone any more. I know I am a bit younger than you though but I almost finished college now too. So you are definitely not alone and have far more experience than I have.


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

OP, it's not a big deal to have zero experience.. women do not mind as long as you are willing to learn. But what is most important is that you are a good person and know how to treat people. The idea is to fall inlove, not worry about the physical.


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## silvercobra101 (Mar 25, 2010)

24butstayingpositive said:


> I've made out w/ a few girls at these drunk fest college parties and that's about it. Never even got their name!


Wow! That's the sort of thing I dream about! Making out with "a few" girls I don't even know. That's incredible. I didn't even know that sort of thing happened in real life.

By the way, I'm 24 and have never been on a date. Heck, I've never gone farther than a casual conversation with a girl, and that only rarely. I get about one "hello" per week, on average. And that's usually the girl who rings up my groceries.


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## keithp (Mar 13, 2007)

I beat you by 1 year, but at least (even though drunk) you made out with a woman, I have never enjoyably been able to touch a woman or kiss her. Same story basically for us both otherwise.


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## Duke of Prunes (Jul 20, 2009)

I don't have as much of a right to complain as you guys in your 20s, but it's pretty sad that everyone I went to school with with the exception of a couple of people who are even more mentally far gone than me have had _serious_ relationships and countless semi-serious ones, while I've never even looked a girl in the eyes let alone made contact.

The frustrating part is I've had a couple obviously interested in me (I've had regular female friends tell me I'm attractive) who I've either ignored, or they've initiated contact with me and I've been too blinded by anxiety to respond properly, completely putting them off me.

At this point, I've stopped caring. I figure it's better to sort myself out instead of worrying about it.


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## Colhad75 (Dec 14, 2009)

What I'm about to say is something that may or may not be appropriate but I believe it's an option for blokes who are desparately seeking love.

I truly believe that a bloke who's frustrated at not finding a girlfriend should save some pennies and go see a hooker. At least you can experience something and will help relieve some frustration.


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## Haydsmom2007 (Oct 16, 2009)

maybe try online dating?
Don't use adult friend finder though. The women to men ratio is like 1:100, so you KNOW the few girls on there have had their share...


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## Duke of Prunes (Jul 20, 2009)

Colhad75 said:


> What I'm about to say is something that may or may not be appropriate but I believe it's an option for blokes who are desparately seeking love.
> 
> I truly believe that a bloke who's frustrated at not finding a girlfriend should save some pennies and go see a hooker. At least you can experience something and will help relieve some frustration.


I don't know about others, but I'd find sex without a relationship pretty depressing.

And online dating sites are all full of guys or superficial girls, at least that's what the general consensus is.


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## silvercobra101 (Mar 25, 2010)

Duke of Prunes said:


> I figure it's better to sort myself out instead of worrying about it.


That's about where I am. I have some serious issues in other respects, and ones that are much more distressing than lonliness. Once I get those figured out then perhaps I can dream of a girlfriend.

However, now and then reading about and discussing relationships helps to bring me out of some fits of depression. I usually feel frustration and anger (if anything) when talking about these things, but at least I feel _something _other than constant anxiety.


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## daniel1989 (Feb 14, 2011)

What I suggest you do is just put yourself out there and you'll find someone.


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## silvercobra101 (Mar 25, 2010)

Duke of Prunes said:


> I don't know about others, but I'd find sex without a relationship pretty depressing.


Me too. I don't crave sex necessarily, what I really want is the relationship. The idea of spending time alone with a girl, of having someone to talk to who really cares about me and who I could really care about, and a feeling of affection that leads naturally to the desire for physical contact (rather than, say, paying money for it) is the thing that I long for. Or I should say what I used to long for before my other anxieties went crazy.

Now I'd be happy just be able to relax.


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## i just want luv (Feb 13, 2011)

Does a hug count? Not a "romantic type hug" (if that exsist), but like a "replacement handshake type of hug".


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## Salus (Feb 27, 2011)

I read the post about getting a hooker... please dont do this...
Its not all about sex!!!! 

I have a few suggestions.. 

Start off by getting to talk to women.. any woman..dont worry about the age (well make it 18+) but just imagine that your talking to your sister or your mother..imagine that they are someone that you dont get intimidated by...

After you feel comfortable with talking to women..then you can move onto flirting... (but dont just pick out the absolutely stunning one, the not so attractive ones can be just as, or more amzing on the inside!) Perhaps you could ask a woman out for a few drinks at the pub or something casual?

Get comfortable with woman, dont put all this pressure on yourself about sex and being inexperienced at it.

In time when you have got comfortable with women...a connection will form and you can then think about sex! (after the dating, etc)

 good luck and no pressure


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## 24butstayingpositive (Feb 17, 2011)

silvercobra101 said:


> Me too. I don't crave sex necessarily, what I really want is the relationship. The idea of spending time alone with a girl, of having someone to talk to who really cares about me and who I could really care about, and a feeling of affection that leads naturally to the desire for physical contact (rather than, say, paying money for it) is the thing that I long for. Or I should say what I used to long for before my other anxieties went crazy.
> 
> Now I'd be happy just be able to relax.


Yeah I always tell myself I'll just get whatever I can. Either just some one night stand or a girlfriend. However, deep down inside I want a serious gf.

I have so many other problems in my life from extremely serious family problems to which I have no control over to my own problems (SA mainly and some other stuff) and I just want to talk to someone about it. It's so depressing to not have anyone to talk about these things with. But if I had a girl who know cared a lot it would feel sooooo much better. The few friends I have are friends to go out drinking with and to have a good time with. I can't go that deep with them into this stuff. My mom is all I have who I can talk with but she get's emotional when we talk about our family problems and I can't handle seeing her cry and ****. A psychologist or some sort of counselor is way too expensive. So I feel like if I fell in love that so much of this would be relieved because I can finally vent to someone.

I was considering paying for a hooker but I really don't want to break my virginity that way. It's kind of sad to look back and see that that's how desperate you got and didn't do it the normal way like most everyone else.


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## Rossy (Jan 15, 2011)

Don't go with a hooker please.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

I'm part of this club too. It certainly doesn't get any easier after college. My opinion for myself has always been if I wasn't able to make something happen in college, then I'm hopeless now because never again in life are the odds going to be as good as they were in college.

I've never been into the bar/club scene so that pretty much leaves work as the only available option for meeting the opposite sex. And work is such a touchy place to do that. You practically have to walk on egg shells for fear of saying the wrong thing and getting fired for it.


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## IcoRules (Apr 29, 2009)

I'll add myself to the list here.

24, never been on a date, never even been kissed. The closest contact I've had with a guy is a friendly hug. So you have a lot more experience and a better chance of eventually meeting someone than many of us.

I'm probably doomed to be alone because I'm terrified of guys and hate even walking by an attractive one because all I can think about is how stupid or ugly I look to them. So I try to to keep my expectations low.


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## silvercobra101 (Mar 25, 2010)

Futures said:


> I'm part of this club too. It certainly doesn't get any easier after college. My opinion for myself has always been if I wasn't able to make something happen in college, then I'm hopeless now because never again in life are the odds going to be as good as they were in college.


That's what I have thought too. I couldn't even go on a date by the time I graduated, so how is anything supposed to happen now that I come into contact with one or two single girls a month?



> I've never been into the bar/club scene so that pretty much leaves work as the only available option for meeting the opposite sex. And work is such a touchy place to do that. You practically have to walk on egg shells for fear of saying the wrong thing and getting fired for it.


They always say that you shouldn't date a coworker. I always wonder who I am supposed to date in that case. There are probably two girls my age at the church I attend, and at least one is married. I honestly don't know where guys my age find girlfriends.


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## ImmortalxApathy (Feb 19, 2011)

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Being a virgin is a great and beautiful thing. People think that sex is the "in" thing. Don't give in and follow into line.


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## silvercobra101 (Mar 25, 2010)

I'm not sure the OP is so concerned with being a virgin, as much as in lacking any type of relationship, and losing hope that he ever will. At least that's how it is with me.


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## Duke of Prunes (Jul 20, 2009)

ImmortalxApathy said:


> There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Being a virgin is a great and beautiful thing. People think that sex is the "in" thing. Don't give in and follow into line.


I don't know about everyone else in this thread, but it's not about sex. Sex is empty without a relationship (or a friendship in some cases), just glorified masturbation.


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## Aarmin (Feb 27, 2011)

Duke of Prunes said:


> I don't know about everyone else in this thread, but it's not about sex. Sex is empty without a relationship (or a friendship in some cases), just glorified masturbation.


Agree. What's a hooker or a scank, no thanks.

Really.. I just wana cuddle


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## otakux (Jan 18, 2010)

26 and same as OP. 
dun even have any female fren.


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## shynesshellasucks (May 10, 2008)

I'm nearing the age of 21 and still a virgin.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

You seem to be doing whatchu need to be doing: Staying Positive!


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