# I don't want to go to graduation.



## Koolaidguy314 (Dec 4, 2013)

So I've been planning on not going to graduation since Freshman year (this is high school)

Everybody's arguments that it's the culmination of everything you've worked for mean nothing to me. I have taken almost all AP classes and skated my way through with little to no effort because it's just so easy. 

Graduating means nothing to me except I get a piece of paper that lets me into college to start work on Physics. 

I place no value on ceremonies and am 99% sure I won't regret not going, if it were only me it affected.

I had no issues with not going before today I found out that my mom's cousin wants to buy my Grandma a plane ticket to come see my graduation, now I feel like I have to go and I'm literally at the point of tears because I don't want to. It's not that I don't want to so much as it is that I absolutely abhor following any sort of tradition and conformity, to follow such makes me feel like I'm not being true to myself. 

I don't really see a way out of it now because not going would pretty much be saying "**** off" to my grandma (who I really don't know or particularly care about but I'd still look like a dick). 

Not only that but when I sat at my friend's last year with my girlfriend I just constantly criticized everything anybody said and she said I ruined it for her so I know I will at some point let out comments mocking the entire ceremony and all of the motivational bullcrap people say to the people around me and in my family, it's absolutely inevitable. 

The only thing I can think of is telling my parents that I won't go unless they give me something so I can at least get something out of it in order to rectify it to myself. 

Any sort of advice that isn't "you'll regret it" because I won't, I'll only feel guilty because my family will never let it go. 




In case someone begins to wonder I'm INTP, I saw someone ask that question on a similar topic.


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## J0HNNY (Jul 17, 2013)

I skipped my graduation ceremony (still got my certificate and sht), but my parents were working anyways and I didn't really care about it (would of had to go by myself). Although if my parents did care about it and wanted to go, I would of made the effort for them.


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## Remnant of Dawn (Feb 22, 2012)

> The only thing I can think of is telling my parents that I won't go unless they give me something so I can at least get something out of it in order to rectify it to myself.


So what you're saying is, you don't want to go to graduation because you sort of feel like you'd be selling out, but you'd be okay with going if your parents gave you something? I don't understand. But either way, this idea just sounds horrible and selfish. Don't do it.

I think the question is, is it your anxiety that is really stopping you from going, or is it genuinely that you just don't like ceremonies? If it's the latter, just suck it up. It's probably like 2 hours of your time. Just sit there quietly, then go up and get your diploma, and move on. You might not personally like ceremonies, but just acknowledge that some people (like your grandma) do, and be willing to sacrifice 2 hours of your own time for that.

If it's really anxiety, then I'd still try to go, but it obviously won't be as easy as "just suck it up". Just remember that graduation ceremonies are a whole lot of sitting there listening to other people, and then thirty seconds of walking across a stage. It's not that bad.


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## Rocklover639 (Jan 3, 2011)

I skipped my graduation too, (half my school went) but I don't regret it. I heard everyone got toasted because of the hot weather. :lol


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## nothing to fear (Mar 23, 2005)

I was out of the country for my college grad ceremony. Finding out I wouldn't be here for it was one of the highlights of the year for me.


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## ryancc (May 20, 2013)

I'm glad i went to mine. It was pretty nice.


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## musiclover55 (Feb 7, 2011)

Mines wasn't as bad as I thought. Like someone before said, you just sit there quietly, takes like 10 seconds to walk across stage and get the diploma, maybe shake a few hands, and walk back to your seat. The worse part for me was arriving like 1 hour early and standing in line looking around while everyone else was talking to their friends. If I could do it again, I would've arrived later (but not too late).


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## LeeMann (Nov 29, 2012)

Despite the intense pressure from family and friends, I skipped both my high-school and college graduation ceremonies. There is nothing I regret or missed by doing so.


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## Kalliber (Aug 18, 2012)

I went to mines, not worth it


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## badgerparty (Nov 26, 2013)

I didn't go to mine, but I don't have much of a family and they didn't make a fuss about it. I had my degree and had succeeded at leaving home and making friends, so I didn't feel the need to attend a ceremony telling me I'd won. 

Having said that, I would go if you can. Sounds like it'll mean a lot to your relatives and it's not that much of your time.


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## Pennywise (Aug 18, 2011)

Why does your mom's cousin want to purchase a ticket for your grandmother? I'd think your mom would do that, but whatever. Anyway, have they purchased the ticket yet? If not, then tell your parents that you don't want to go, and give them good reasons, not just "I don't feel like it". If they already have, then the pressure is especially on for you to go, but if you're really against it, then plead your case still, although I wouldn't expect them to listen at that point.

Also, you say that you abhor following tradition and conformity because you wouldn't be true to yourself to do so, but then say that you would go _if_ your parents gave you something for it, which contradicts your first statement. So if you're willing to be bribed into going, then you're not that anti-conformity.


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## dkarazhov (Dec 2, 2013)

I went to my ceremony, but didn't really enjoy it. Felt quite anxious throughout. When I went on stage I was so anxious, I could have probably done something stupid. With all the negative thinking I had going on back then, I simply reinforced my anxiety and feelings of inadequacy, which is not good. If I didn't go I would've been just fine. People will also want to take pictures of you (for me personally this is very awkward and definitely not fun). 

However, you never know if you anxiety will decide to subside (this can happen randomly at any time, especially with events you've never attended before), and if it does you would be very very happy you went. It really is a special occasion, and all is directed at giving you the feelings of gratitude and accomplishment. 

So it's up to you whether you want to gamble.


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## uziq (Apr 9, 2012)

I felt the same way for my high school graduation. I was planning on not going, but the rest of my family got pissed at me and pretty much forced me to go. In the end, it won't be as you think. I had almost no friends in high school, so of course I (like you probably are) was worried about everyone seeing me onstage for a brief moment, but the reality is they don't really care. Everyone is in their own world, they're there for their own respective families, not for their friends or peers or anyone like that. They'll see you onstage, and not think anything of it.


You're right, it's a silly ceremony that in the opinion of everyone with SA, is completely unnecessary, but it won't take long to get over with. And think, there are people there who have much more nerve-wracking roles, like the valedictorian and salutatorian. Just cherish the fact that they gotta write a speech for thousands of people and you don't!


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