# I told my teacher that I have SA



## kitkatstar1 (Jan 9, 2010)

In form I told my teacher that I had SA so I wouldn't speak if I was going to stand up and do presentations and I that wouldn't be speaking to anyone if I didn't have to speak to them. 
It was all going well at first since and she's a psychology teacher I figured she would understand
WRONG!
In sociology (she's my teacher for that too) she yelled at me twice for not talking to people in my group. I could understand if she didn't know I had SA but all last week I didn't speak to anyone and she was fine with it (i think she expected something anyway) but the minute I told her, she yelled at me









Not really a triumph but I had the guts to do it.


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## Himi Jendrix (Mar 24, 2010)

It is a triumph because you had the guts to move your feet forward and confront your fear. 

Now your teachers reaction is absolutely appalling to me. Just so you know, you are covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act that was past under Clinton. 

This allows for "reasonable accommodations" to be made for any person with a mental disorder. SAD, depression, and most mental disorders are covered. All you need it documentation from a "professional" like a pdoc or regular doc. They need to indicate you are unable to speak in class and everything will be cool. 

I have done this before and the accommodations I received were crap but it did allow me to pass the class. You could probably even sue the school if they dont accommodate you.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

I commend you for speaking up. However, while you can certainly scream injustice, I am personally appalled that you would use your SA as an excuse not to better yourself by talking to people or doing presentations. In high school, I would sweat so bad my armpits became soaked, period, without even talking to anyone. Doing a presentation, that was a nightmare so intense that I could barely see straight let alone get out what I wanted to say. However, doing them and talking to people (among other things) allowed me to gradually expand my comfort zone over time and be who I am today. Using your condition as an excuse to get out of things will ultimately hurt you bad in the long run.


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## kitkatstar1 (Jan 9, 2010)

rymo said:


> However, while you can certainly scream injustice, I am personally appalled that you would use your SA as an excuse not to better yourself by talking to people or doing presentations.


I didn't speak to people because I refused to, I just freeze up and can't physically speak. I probably should have made that a bit clearer


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## stillirise (Aug 4, 2011)

kitkatstar1 said:


> I didn't speak to people because I refused to, I just freeze up and can't physically speak. I probably should have made that a bit clearer


The problem with this forum is that the people here obviously have varying degrees of "social anxiety", and I think that it is sometimes hard to appreciate the position that other people are in. I'm not sure about rymo, but I doubt any reasonable person would call you appalling for attempting to receive accommodation for a disability :roll

Anyway, Mr. Hendrix is completely right. If your professor is not willing to accommodate you, then you should, at the very least, have a meeting with someone in your college's disability office.

Edit: spellcheck changed appaling to appealing. Haha.


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## Himi Jendrix (Mar 24, 2010)

kitkatstar1 said:


> I didn't speak to people because I refused to, I just freeze up and can't physically speak. I probably should have made that a bit clearer


I can definitely relate to this and apologize for Rymo's comments. They certainly seem unwarranted to me.

Now you cannot help having social anxiety anymore than someone can help getting cancer. There are certain things you can do to make it better but it never really goes completely away; remission is the closest you will get.

Now I can see the point mr rymo was trying to make; fight the anxiety and better yourself and hopefully you will be less afraid. In this case it sounds like your brain is going into a panic reaction and from experience I can say that doing any type of presentation is IMPOSSIBLE in this condition.

Definitely you should feel good for telling your teacher about SA and also consider requesting "reasonable accommodations" if need be.


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## rymo (Sep 6, 2009)

No need to apologize for me.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Your teacher may have been trying to help you - in a bad way.

While it is great that you told your teacher, it should not prevent you from attempting at your own pace. We should not hold ourselves back with this label. It is not a mental disorder....it's an EMOTIONAL one. We have irrational fears because we scare ourselves into it. Basically, the teacher did the worst she could possibly do outside of things that can truly get her in trouble.

She is weird, but basically, you lived through and fought back during an embarrassing situation - THAT is the triumph here.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

rymo said:


> I commend you for speaking up. However, while you can certainly scream injustice, I am personally appalled that you would use your SA as an excuse not to better yourself by talking to people or doing presentations. In high school, I would sweat so bad my armpits became soaked, period, without even talking to anyone. Doing a presentation, that was a nightmare so intense that I could barely see straight let alone get out what I wanted to say. However, doing them and talking to people (among other things) allowed me to gradually expand my comfort zone over time and be who I am today. Using your condition as an excuse to get out of things will ultimately hurt you bad in the long run.


Actually, having been through the last 6 1/2 years here and learning about this disorder, you can defeat it like Rymo said, but it is not a fast process. I am doing it. I am FAR better than I was one year ago. In fact, in 2011 so far, I only had to increase my Paxil twice for two days max toward the beginning of the year. I have been through quite a bit since then and my panic attacks are shorter and weaker overall - by FACING my fears SLOWLY over TIME!


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## Delicate (May 23, 2008)

rymo said:


> I commend you for speaking up. However, while you can certainly scream injustice, I am personally appalled that you would use your SA as an excuse not to better yourself by talking to people or doing presentations. In high school, I would sweat so bad my armpits became soaked, period, without even talking to anyone. Doing a presentation, that was a nightmare so intense that I could barely see straight let alone get out what I wanted to say. However, doing them and talking to people (among other things) allowed me to gradually expand my comfort zone over time and be who I am today. Using your condition as an excuse to get out of things will ultimately hurt you bad in the long run.


 It doesn't sound to me that she's using it as an excuse, yes doing those things does help in the long run, but she can't go from telling her teacher about SA to suddenly being the loudest person in a group project. It doesn't work that way, mentally or physically. It takes time to, as you worded it "gradually expand" comfort zones. All she did was be honest with her teacher so they'd understand her behaviour, I think you're just reading that as an excuse when it's not necessarily.



kitkatstar1 said:


> I didn't speak to people because I refused to, I just freeze up and can't physically speak. I probably should have made that a bit clearer


 I get this way too, I feel like mutism is too strong a term, but it feels that way. As much as you're telling yourself to speak nothing comes out. I'm sorry about your teacher's reaction. If she seemed understanding at first, it could be she just wrongly thought she was helping, if that's the case maybe you could try to talk to her again? Do you think you could speak to a school counselor or a counselor outside of school through your GP? I think that could help you a lot. It's great you could see the triumph in that situation btw.


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## peach123 (Dec 13, 2010)

kitkatstar1 said:


> In form I told my teacher that I had SA so I wouldn't speak if I was going to stand up and do presentations and I that wouldn't be speaking to anyone if I didn't have to speak to them.
> It was all going well at first since and she's a psychology teacher I figured she would understand
> WRONG!
> In sociology (she's my teacher for that too) she yelled at me twice for not talking to people in my group. I could understand if she didn't know I had SA but all last week I didn't speak to anyone and she was fine with it (i think she expected something anyway) but the minute I told her, she yelled at me
> ...


Your teacher shouldn't have yelled at you. She should have at least referred you to someone who could help you whether that be a social anxiety group or a therapist that you could talk to. She should have been more understanding and yelling at you was not the answer. Yelling does not help, it embarasses and hurts people. You are in a bad place because you are going to have to stick up for yourself and speak up which are two hard things for those of us with social anxiety. It is good that you had the courage to tell someone, I am sorry that your teacher doesn't have that same courage to help you. Try to find a therapist or social anxiety where you can go and get some support.


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## mcmuffinme (Mar 12, 2010)

Hey, good for you. Your teacher sounds like an idiot. Some people, regardless of their education, aren't cut out for helping others with their mental issues. Education doesn't teach common sense, which is what your teacher should have practiced.


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

Delicate said:


> It doesn't sound to me that she's using it as an excuse, yes doing those things does help in the long run, but she can't go from telling her teacher about SA to suddenly being the loudest person in a group project. It doesn't work that way, mentally or physically. It takes time to, as you worded it "gradually expand" comfort zones. All she did was be honest with her teacher so they'd understand her behaviour, I think you're just reading that as an excuse when it's not necessarily.
> 
> I get this way too, I feel like mutism is too strong a term, but it feels that way. As much as you're telling yourself to speak nothing comes out. I'm sorry about your teacher's reaction. If she seemed understanding at first, it could be she just wrongly thought she was helping, if that's the case maybe you could try to talk to her again? Do you think you could speak to a school counselor or a counselor outside of school through your GP? I think that could help you a lot. It's great you could see the triumph in that situation btw.


That is what I had to do - I did tell people about my SA, but I had already recovered quite a bit when it happened. We're talking years, here. This is not an immediate process. I would definitely seek a therapist about it. The outside perspective of what you see can help you reset thinking.

The biggest thing I am learning now that I have significantly recovered is that things were not as I thought they were.


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