# Have you guys ever tried hitting on females in this forum?



## Setolac

A lot of men here keep on complaining that they have trouble getting females in real life. Has it ever occurred to you that there are a lot of females here in this forum who are more likely to understand your flaws/problems since they themselves have it? I have read countless of stories how men here have found their true love in this forum. A lot of those couples are now living a very happy life together since they can empathize/understand themselves more and they have a lot of things in common.

If you ever find your soul mate here and found out that she lives several miles away from where you live, would you spend a lot of money to travel to her place just to be with her in real life?

There are a lot of pretty single females here who are just waiting to be wooed. It's just a matter of who's going to make the first move.


----------



## mezzoforte

I've been hit on a few times on here, but the guys were never really serious. In order to find a relationship I had to make the first move in contacting the guy and trying to get to know him.


----------



## East

"men" and "females" are you allergic to the words "women" and "girls" or smth


----------



## Setolac

mezzoforte said:


> I've been hit on a few times on here, but the guys were never really serious. In order to find a relationship I had to make the first move in contacting the guy and trying to get to know him.


Yeah, you are one of the stories that I have just mentioned.


----------



## Setolac

East said:


> "men" and "females" are you allergic to the words "women" and "girls" or smth


East is one of those pretty females who are waiting to be wooed.


----------



## East

Setolac said:


> East is one of those pretty females who are waiting to be wooed.


literally no


----------



## sad vlad

No. I did get a bit of positive feedback though. Which is a bit flattering, but also surprising/strange at the same time.

Ok, I just remembered that I was joking around a few times in here, but I had no intention of ''hitting'' on anyone.


----------



## To22

Well then...


----------



## ravenseldoncat

I've talked with girls on this forum but not with intention to ask them out. I like to test the waters with conversation now and then but never go so far as to hit on girls here. Somehow it just seems like a lot of work, especially if someone doesn't live in my area.


----------



## AussiePea

It happens quite a lot, most of it you won't hear about on here as people generally keep it under wraps. I've been involved with more than I care to count now and only recently learned my lesson for good. Oh sas, an adventure you have been. 

They can and have worked but one has to keep in mind that this is a mental illness forum and the problems associated can make things quite difficult. But hey, you never know, if two people click on here then go for it I say, at worst you learn new things about yourself and gain experience with this part of life, and that's never a bad thing.


----------



## monotonous

yes, they all banned themselves shortly after


----------



## Amphoteric

It's only one aspect though, to share seemingly similar issues. We're all individuals with different interests and all that **** despite having SA, so it's not like getting into a relationship here is guaranteed on the basis of having a mental illness in common. 
Most importantly: to actually be in a relationship with someone who shares the same issues as you is not as pretty and wonderful as it might idealistically seem.


----------



## arnie

East said:


> "men" and "females" are you allergic to the words "women" and "girls" or smth


cue feminist outrage...


----------



## inerameia

No. I got to know one girl that was on here real well, then three months later, all hell broke loose. I'm not even in the friendship market right now.


----------



## TheWelshOne

Setolac said:


> A lot of men here keep on complaining that they have trouble getting females in real life. Has it ever occurred to you that there are a lot of females here in this forum who are more likely to understand your flaws/problems since they themselves have it? I have read countless of stories how men here have found their true love in this forum. A lot of those couples are now living a very happy life together since they can empathize/understand themselves more and they have a lot of things in common.
> 
> If you ever find your soul mate here and found out that she lives several miles away from where you live, would you spend a lot of money to travel to her place just to be with her in real life?
> 
> There are a lot of pretty single females here who are just waiting to be wooed. It's just a matter of who's going to make the first move.


I was really happy to read this because I've always thought this way. You could match-make dozens of people on this forum. Then I saw the 'pretty' part at the end and realized I'd never be one of them :lol

This would also work for just random conversations. I see a lot of people saying they have no idea what to say to members of the opposite sex. Why not just pick a guy/girl on here and start talking?


----------



## sad vlad

TheWelshOne said:


> I see a lot of people saying they have no idea what to say to members of the opposite sex. Why not just pick a guy/girl on here and start talking?


I am actually talking to girls far more often than guys. As long as I don't have to talk about fashion, it's all good.


----------



## AbsurdistMalarky

I wouldn't really want to contact anyone here within reach. It's safer to chat to people about your problems when they're a long flight away.

Also, it's a recipe for disaster two people with social anxiety getting together.


----------



## TheWelshOne

sad vlad said:


> I am actually talking to girls far more often then guys. As long as I don't have to talk about fashion, it's all good.


Same! I can't say a word to a guy IRL, but I talk to more guys than girls on here. I feel more comfortable talking to guys. The forum gives us more freedom to do that - which is why I think it's the best place to try this stuff out.


----------



## Setolac

Hadron92 said:


> Sure, all the time. This is the perfect place. Loads of quiet, submissive females with low self-esteem. Can't get any better than this.:roll


What's wrong with quiet females bro?


----------



## tonyhd71

I reached out to girls here but I don't know if you could day I hit on them, more like started talking to them


----------



## ManuelVinn

If I didn´t lived in South américa I would be doing this all the time


----------



## AbsurdistMalarky

Hadron92 said:


> Nothing bro. They are usually submissive and do as I command. They are wife material.


Submissive is boring. I want an utter ***** for bitter arguments that end with aggressive sex.


----------



## Whatev

Nah, not here for that.


----------



## Scrub-Zero

No. I'm too old for most of them and probably too ugly for the rest.


----------



## crimeclub

I can't say I'm interested in hitting on anyone over the internet (aside from a local dating site situation) but playful flirting definitely makes the site more fun.


----------



## laysiaj

I like to hit on all the girls. All the time.


----------



## Icy Tulips

Can't the term _guys_ apply to women, too? I'm curious about the frequency of women hitting on women here.


----------



## sad vlad

Icy Tulips said:


> Can't the term _guys_ apply to women, too? I'm curious about the frequency of women hitting on women here.


You can always start another thread and make your own poll.


----------



## Icy Tulips

sad vlad said:


> You can always start another thread and make your own poll.


Lol. I'll think about it.


----------



## LolaViola

Oh you didn't know? That's the whole reason I'm here bro, to hit on females yo


----------



## pollutedessence

Hadron92 said:


> Sure, all the time. This is the perfect place. Loads of quiet, submissive females with low self-esteem. Can't get any better than this.:roll


Submissive females with low self-esteem? 1. women/girls-not females 2. Just because you're shy or you have low self esteem does NOT mean you are submissive...wtf?!


----------



## jesse93

Nah, I can't say I've ever tried hitting on a girl on this site


----------



## MetroCard

I'm too young to be hit on


----------



## TenYears

laysiaj said:


> I like to hit on all the girls. All the time.


 



Icy Tulips said:


> Can't the term _guys_ apply to women, too? I'm curious about the frequency of women hitting on women here.


  



LolaViola said:


> Oh you didn't know? That's the whole reason I'm here bro, to hit on females yo


----------



## Kanova

Long distance relationships rarely ever work out D:


----------



## visualkeirockstar

No. You can't do that or you'll come off as creepy.


----------



## crimeclub

TenYears said:


>


I appreciate the direction this thread is taking.


----------



## Lone Drifter

TheWelshOne said:


> I feel more comfortable talking to guys.


It's a shame that you and I will never be allowed to speak, the last time two taff's spoke online the Big Bang happened. :b


----------



## diamondheart89

Oh god, no.


----------



## LolaViola

In all seriousness...no. I have not.


----------



## RayOfLight123

Ive been harassed on here if that counts


----------



## Darktower776

No, I've never hit on women on this forum. I've talked to plenty of nice and interesting guys and girls though.


----------



## anomnomnom

Uh, No

Although I do seem to get on better with girls, here, other forums...work, everywhere

I suspect its because they know I'd never hit on them, which is true I wouldn't because I can't be bothered and dont know how, so I'm completely harmless!


----------



## VinBZ

OP, calling them "females" is very strange and off-putting. Makes me think you really need to go out and talk to girls, or anyone, in person, and try to think of people as people.


----------



## therealbleach

to be honest, I know this is horrible but I can't really feel attracted to girls unless I know what they look like and I typically assume most of the ones who post here are ugly..


----------



## crimeclub

therealbleach said:


> to be honest, I know this is horrible but I can't really feel attracted to girls unless I know what they look like and I typically assume most of the ones who post here are ugly..


You must not come here often, this site is full of attractive people.


----------



## TheWelshOne

Lone Drifter said:


> It's a shame that you and I will never be allowed to speak, the last time two taff's spoke online the Big Bang happened. :b


:lol Whereabouts are you?


----------



## Lone Drifter

TheWelshOne said:


> :lol Whereabouts are you?


Just down the road...sort of. I was at your place this morning though


----------



## KelliKell

I wouldnt mind being hit on, but i would only regard it as fun and not serious...


----------



## TheWelshOne

Lone Drifter said:


> Just down the road...sort of. I was at your place this morning though


Oh! That was you skulking around in the bushes? Next time say hi :b


----------



## Lone Drifter

TheWelshOne said:


> Oh! That was you skulking around in the bushes? Next time say hi :b


Were you the one in the brown coat and sunglasses or the one who wanted to be called Whiskey Mouse?


----------



## TheWelshOne

Lone Drifter said:


> Were you the one in the brown coat and sunglasses or the one who wanted to be called Whiskey Mouse?


I was the one with the tail.


----------



## OutsideR1

TheWelshOne said:


> I was the one with the tail.


Hook up already:b


----------



## TheWelshOne

OutsideR1 said:


> Hook up already:b


We don't hook up with each other out here. Makes the sheep jealous.


----------



## Shockwave The Logical

Why bother? I'm already talking with a few girls at school.


----------



## FortuneAndFame

If you are one of these ladies waiting to be wooed, then you know who to PM... me!


----------



## therealbleach

crimeclub said:


> You must not come here often, this site is full of attractive people.


you can't tell from the internet


----------



## Jinkies

Nope. 

1. None of them live anywhere near me.
2. Nobody wants a repulsive **** like me flirting with them.


----------



## minimized

Hell no. Not only do I not want to appear creepy and not want to drag anyone down, I wouldn't even know how to do that.


----------



## crimeclub

minimized said:


> Hell no. Not only do I not want to appear creepy and not want to drag anyone down, I wouldn't even know how to do that.


"Hey...come here much?" Though the visible post count makes that one difficult.


----------



## moloko

laysiaj said:


> I like to hit on all the girls. All the time.


You stole my line.:mum (kidding btw. obvs)


----------



## bastele

No. I dont see the point tbh, im not interested in anything long-distance. 

The chances of anyone on here living reasonably close to me seem miniscule, and even if such a person existed on here, i dont just "randomly" hit on women. I would have to find her interesting first, and i havent even talked to anyone from on here. I actually would like to do that, just have someone to talk to but w/e.


----------



## CowGoMoo

Hell yeah man. First chat, then you get the kik, then you get the # and call, then you get the nudies.


----------



## minimized

crimeclub said:


> "Hey...come here much?" Though the visible post count makes that one difficult.


Then they realize I'm that creepy guy that has sat at the same bar for 7 years, except there's no alcohol, only pills.


----------



## fredbloggs02

I have given compliments, and I have teased in one or two instances.

I have a strong sense it is wrong to be false to myself, that I degrade myself being so, and that restraint is what distinguishes me from an animal; and this I have only transgressed when I have either been out of my wits or teasing. When out of my wits, there is little left of myself; when teasing, I am in control. 
I make these distinctions because they are important to me, not to excuse myself. 

It is deeply unsettling feeling out of control. It is as if your body sways one way and your mind flitters off. You still feel responsible. But I think to utterly betray oneself is to do so while fully conscious.


----------



## Cenarius

I would try but I don't know how.


----------



## lisbeth

It happens a lot on SAS. The same guys send similar PMs to different women and see who bites. Combination of flattery and trying to get you to confide in them and open up. Lot of really gross manipulative people on here. You get cynical about anyone who seems too nice after a while.


----------



## SA go0n

Cenarius said:


> I would try but I don't know how.


If there is anyone I would want to see try it would be you.


----------



## slyfox

I met my partner Lonelioness here  It started out with us trying to be friends though. She lived 5+ hours away before she moved to Michigan to live with me. So travel was an obstacle


----------



## arnie

lisbeth said:


> It happens a lot on SAS. The same guys send similar PMs to different women and see who bites. Combination of flattery and trying to get you to confide in them and open up. Lot of really gross manipulative people on here. You get cynical about anyone who seems too nice after a while.


Not every guy is creepy on here you know. Back then, I only messaged a couple girls that interested me and tried to start a conversation. After that you just see what develops. :stu


----------



## masterridley

No, I don't even try to approach them for friendship. Or anyone for that matter. I'm so avoidant that I almost never initiate contact with people that I do talk to so (°ヘ°)


----------



## SA go0n

heatherneedles said:


> How come there are more single men threads on this forum? I rarely see any women complaining about being single.


Well, let me explain..........................nah.


----------



## lisbeth

arnie said:


> Not every guy is creepy on here you know. Back then, I only messaged a couple girls that interested me and tried to start a conversation. After that you just see what develops. :stu


I think I have more male online friends on SAS than female ones, so it's not like I think every guy is creepy.

But the point still stands that there are a lot of manipulative people on here. Of both genders, I'm sure. SAS is the perfect playground for people like that - it's full of isolated, lonely misfits who'll respond to flattery and someone showing interest in them, and people who'll almost automatically trust a "kindred spirit" struggling with the same issues. Easy pickings. There are plenty of people who have luck on here, but there are as many sending those PMs who don't have sincere intentions.


----------



## lisbeth

heatherneedles said:


> How come there are more single men threads on this forum? I rarely see any women complaining about being single.


SAS women tend to do more of their complaining in private.

I can't speak for anyone else, but personally I find the idea of creating a thread like that embarrassing.


----------



## Live Through This

heatherneedles said:


> How come there are more single men threads on this forum? I rarely see any women complaining about being single.


Because straight males think they are the only ones who suffer in this world, and want everyone to know it.


----------



## crimeclub

lisbeth said:


> I think I have more male online friends on/from SAS than female ones, so it's not like I think every guy is creepy.
> 
> But the point still stands that there are a lot of manipulative people on here. Of both genders, I'm sure. SAS is the perfect playground for people like that - it's full of isolated, lonely people who'll respond to someone flattering them by showing interest in them, and people who'll almost automatically trust a "kindred spirit" struggling with the same issues. There are plenty of people who have luck on here, but there are as many sending those PMs who don't have sincere intentions.


That's just dating in general.


----------



## Dre12

lisbeth said:


> I think I have more male online friends on/from SAS than female ones, so it's not like I think every guy is creepy.
> 
> But the point still stands that there are a lot of manipulative people on here. Of both genders, I'm sure. SAS is the perfect playground for people like that - it's full of isolated, lonely people who'll respond to someone flattering them by showing interest in them, and people who'll almost automatically trust a "kindred spirit" struggling with the same issues. There are plenty of people who have luck on here, but there are as many sending those PMs who don't have sincere intentions.


Totally

If you were a predator looking for girls with low self esteem this site would be a good place for it.


----------



## probably offline

lisbeth said:


> I think I have more male online friends on SAS than female ones, so it's not like I think every guy is creepy.
> 
> But the point still stands that there are a lot of manipulative people on here. Of both genders, I'm sure. SAS is the perfect playground for people like that - it's full of isolated, lonely misfits who'll respond to flattery and someone showing interest in them, and people who'll almost automatically trust a "kindred spirit" struggling with the same issues. Easy pickings. There are plenty of people who have luck on here, but there are as many sending those PMs who don't have sincere intentions.


Yup.


----------



## mezzoforte

Have all the guys that voted yes found a relationship through this site?


----------



## lisbeth

crimeclub said:


> That's just dating in general.


Yeah, it's **** IRL too. But on a website for people with mental health problems, it gets a bit more complicated.



Dre12 said:


> Totally
> 
> If you were a predator looking for girls with low self esteem this site would be a good place for it.


Yup. Many people on SAS don't have the support network of friends/family that 'normal' people would, and many people on SAS (especially the under-21s) don't have the life experience to recognise when someone isn't adding up. If you don't have any prior exposure, how are you supposed to know what's normal and what isn't? You just take people at face value. Some people on here seem to be astute judges of character and will see through it, but low self esteem often comes with weak personal boundaries and I think a lot of SAS is very vulnerable.


----------



## sad vlad

lisbeth said:


> trying to get you to confide in them and open up. Lot of really gross manipulative people on here. You get cynical about anyone who seems too nice after a while.


I do try to gain people's trust and maybe help them open up a bit, but not by empty compliments and hidden intentions. I am trying to do it by example. If I feel like this individual can be trusted, I start opening up and talking pretty straightforward and honest(I am usually honest). Some people do trust me and open up too till they reach their comfort limit, some do not, so I don't insist. And, yes, most of those individuals are girls.

I am usually driven by curiosity and good intentions, not by malice.


----------



## Shameful

The idea that there could be non-SA people on here trying to manipulate the people with SA is scary. Good thing I'm crazy paranoid and cynical  It sounds like everyone should just try to make a lot of friends on here, especially friends with users who've been around for awhile so they can ask what's up if things seem off with someone.


----------



## Nessie91

I have 50 messages in my inbox. All from guys...


----------



## 525826

I used this site for about 2 weeks and I have already cybered 2 times with the same guy.
I am a virgin (and was an e-virgin until 3 days ago).
@[email protected] I must be needy lately.
Or maybe it's because I'm reading so much YAOI...haha.

UGH. I'm gonna tell him upfront tonight that I don't want to cyber sex anymore and if he stops talking to me - I guess I will know the answer.

Basically, the guy turned out to be very nice.
We are still talking today.

_Staff Edit_


----------



## Espirito

you have a better shot in real life because the girl you probably want to hit on here a) doesn't even live remotely close to you, and b) is very shy and getting a timely response would be like pulling dinosaur teeth. in person you know the girls local and she can't really shy away from your presence as it forces her to open up and step out of her comfort zone because shes being put on the spot. that being said no, never.


----------



## Sleeper92

I had interesting talks with females on this site but i wouldnt consider it flirting


----------



## Paper Samurai

I've never hit on anyone (at least I've never intended to)


----------



## AussiePea

nobutapower said:


> I used this site for about 2 weeks and I have already cybered 2 times with the same guy.
> I am a virgin (and was an e-virgin until 3 days ago).
> @[email protected] I must be needy lately.
> Or maybe it's because I'm reading so much YAOI...haha.
> 
> UGH. I'm gonna tell him upfront tonight that I don't want to cyber sex anymore and if he stops talking to me - I guess I will know the answer.


Your gut is likely to be correct in cases like these. Definitely can't reciprocate the cutesy emoticons and expressions if you don't feel the same though, it will give the wrong impression and makes things more awkward when you realise it's going too far and have to put a stop to it.

You will see his true colours pretty soon though...


----------



## mezzoforte

nobutapower said:


> Staff Edit


Probably.



nobutapower said:


> UGH. I'm gonna tell him upfront tonight that I don't want to cyber sex anymore and if he stops talking to me - I guess I will know the answer.


Yup, good idea. :yes You don't have to feel guilty about cybering if it's something you enjoy. But just realize that that might be the _only_ thing he's interested in.


----------



## lisbeth

Shameful said:


> The idea that there could be non-SA people on here trying to manipulate the people with SA is scary.


Yeah, it happens. I don't use the SAS tinychats but I hear that a proportion of the tinychat users don't have SA. As for the manipulative people on this forum, I don't doubt that many of them genuinely do have SA. It's not like the traits are mutually exclusive. The opposite, if anything. If SA stems from feeling inferior to others or feeling like others don't like you, then this sort of thing seems like the perfect way to overcompensate. If you can get people online to like you, to believe what you tell them, to confide in you, to be affected by you emotionally - well, that seems like a very tempting way to feel powerful if you usually feel powerless. Especially if it's easy, low-effort and low-stakes. Which, let's be real, it is. Most of it is just typing the right words in the right order. And then, because it's the internet, you can just disappear and never deal with that person again. No mess. No fallout.


----------



## Shameful

heatherneedles said:


> OH, It would be helpful if more women could spread their dating experiences. So far I find the What are you doing to get a boy? thread helpful.opcorn


I think it's just scary and embarrassing to make threads, I'm sure if you made a thread asking for advice or experiences plenty of women here would chip in.


----------



## masterridley

AussiePea said:


> Your gut is likely to be correct in cases like these. Definitely can't reciprocate the cutesy emoticons and expressions if you don't feel the same though, it will give the wrong impression and makes things more awkward when you realise it's going too far and have to put a stop to it.
> 
> You will see his true colours pretty soon though...


Excuse me but what are his true colours?? If the girl cybered with him and I understand the meaning of the word correctly (ie cybersex) I don't see why he's wrong to behave like that...

Though I have to say I don't even..., when I hear about cybering after only 2 weeks on a SAS forum.


----------



## Lone Drifter

I've messaged a few people on here who I enjoy talking to (both male and female) but would hate for them to think that I'm just hitting on them, because all I really want is conversation and friends. I need that much more than anything else.


In fact I think that is a problem guys have both online and in real life, the second they show some interest in a woman its often assumed to be romantic. It may be true in some cases but for me, its really not.


----------



## 525826

@AussiePea @mezzoforte

Cybering was fun, but I feel guilty. I don't want to do these things unless I like him. I will clearly tell him I'm not interested when he contacts me later tonight.


----------



## masterridley

I swear I saw a @mezzoforte post up there (twitty)

@nobutapower prepare to get an onslaught of messages from guys now that you've admitted that. Well at least you'll have a wide variety to choose from ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


----------



## bakari0981

And run the risk of getting rejected by someone with the same condition as me and in the same boat as me. My self esteem can only take so many beatings plus if it works out online and we a million states away now, i'll have a whole nother set of anxs like when will I meet her?


----------



## 525826

This is totally off topic. I didn't know you could edit posts.... until now.


----------



## 525826

@masterridley or maybe they will know I post stuff like this in public so they might be scared to hit on me xD


----------



## angelsfood

Don't. Real life. Is the way.


----------



## AussiePea

masterridley said:


> Excuse me but what are his true colours?? If the girl cybered with him and I understand the meaning of the word correctly (ie cybersex) I don't see why he's wrong to behave like that...
> 
> Though I have to say I don't even..., when I hear about cybering after only 2 weeks on a SAS forum.


How he reacts to her not wishing to continue the cybering. I've heard of cases like these where the other party can get quite aggressive unfortunately, though she had led him on a bit so he may be a little taken aback but if his only intentions were to cyber he may cut all contact and his true intentions will be clear.


----------



## mjkittredge

mezzoforte said:


> Have all the guys that voted yes found a relationship through this site?


Nope.


----------



## arnie

^^ You're not trying hard enough. :yes


----------



## Fruitcake

laysiaj said:


> I like to hit on all the girls. All the time.


When are you going to get around to me? My inbox is feeling decidedly empty.


----------



## JaiBird

AbsurdistMalarky said:


> I wouldn't really want to contact anyone here within reach. It's safer to chat to people about your problems when they're a long flight away.
> 
> Also, it's a recipe for disaster two people with social anxiety getting together.


The nice thing about support groups is that it is a chance to talk to people without having the pressure of anything else. Anonymity provides a chance to be honest. And it can be impossible to enter a stable relationship if you are not stable by yourself - two unstable people (such as someone suffering from anxiety) can lead to a dangerously co-dependent relationship.


----------



## McFly

I enjoy talking to girls here and I haven't come across that many that I don't like. Not that I am expecting it to turn into a relationship. I've noticed that attractive new female members will have a couple dozen posts but thousands of views on her profile, so I'm not surprised that guys are hitting on them.


----------



## mike91

nope


----------



## knightofdespair

*Rules of the internets*

Every girl is a guy


----------



## crimeclub

Fruitcake said:


> When are you going to get around to me? My inbox is feeling decidedly empty.


You have a twin sister right?


----------



## angelsfood

Didn't work two for two. Awful actually. Relationships included. Further makes me want to go to work and let the guys do all the work in real tea.


----------



## masterridley

knightofdespair said:


> *Rules of the internets*
> 
> Every girl is a guy


Conversely everyone's a girl when they're face down!

(I don't remember where I read this, I _think_ it was on rpgcodex)


----------



## knightofdespair

masterridley said:


> Conversely everyone's a girl when they're face down!
> 
> (I don't remember where I read this, I _think_ it was on rpgcodex)


Ew.. lol.. I have higher standards than that for my womanometer...


----------



## Fruitcake

crimeclub said:


> You have a twin sister right?


Yes. Why?


----------



## crimeclub

Fruitcake said:


> Yes. Why?


Well then that ruins my pick-up line.


----------



## FunkyFedoras

:rofl she has a twin sister...


----------



## WillYouStopDave

mezzoforte said:


> I've been hit on a few times on here, but the guys were never really serious. In order to find a relationship I had to make the first move in contacting the guy and trying to get to know him.


 A lot of guys on here are probably more like me. I see an attractive female and I just want to tell her that she's pretty. I don't want her to think I'm being a creep or that if she's friendly with me I'm going to be bombarding her with sexual requests or anything.

And at the same time, I'm also not looking for any kind of relationship. I'm just not relationship material. Basically, I just like to compliment people. There seems to be a lot of women on here who look amazing and don't realize it (or won't believe it). It doesn't always help if a thousand people comment on their photos but if there's a chance, I think it's worth a try.


----------



## beli mawr

WillYouStopDave said:


> A lot of guys on here are probably more like me. I see an attractive female and I just want to tell her that she's pretty. I don't want her to think I'm being a creep or that if she's friendly with me I'm going to be bombarding her with sexual requests or anything.
> 
> And at the same time, I'm also not looking for any kind of relationship. I'm just not relationship material. Basically, I just like to compliment people. There seems to be a lot of women on here who look amazing and don't realize it (or won't believe it). It doesn't always help if a thousand people comment on their photos but if there's a chance, I think it's worth a try.


Bingo. It's hard enough to not look like a creep by just complimenting someone.

Sure, it can be a help if you compliment her on her photo dude, you just have to be unique and sincere. Don't be like the other 50 guys that respond "I would so get with you." I was kind of shocked one day when I did so, and actually got a PM saying "thank you!"

As far as the sexual requests, yep, there's another reason.

It hasn't crossed my mind much, to be honest. One thing I figure is that a lot of women here have enough issues to deal with, without some random guy hitting on them. Perhaps I'm being too cautious in the name of being respectful, but I'd rather be that way than to make an advance that may not be appreciated.



Lone Drifter said:


> I've messaged a few people on here who I enjoy talking to (both male and female) but would hate for them to think that I'm just hitting on them, because all I really want is conversation and friends. I need that much more than anything else.


Pretty much all I want as well.

Not that I speak to many women on here (in fact, there's only one person on here I even have a regular conversation via PM), but I'd much rather great conversation than try my "luck" hitting on the women on here.


----------



## UndreamingAwake

Yes but only when I get the feeling it could very well be mutual. Of course it never really worked out in the long run, mostly due to distance, me being all the way in a European country and them often in the US. Also, the use of the word "females"... :lol I like how the other thread just refers to guys as guys instead of "males". Figures.


----------



## blue2

I've talked to a few and I liked talking to them but when they stop talking I don't usually chase after them cause I always think that would be weird, but it turns out so called "females" want you to show a little interest and chase a little bit, my lack of experience and I guess i can be a little immature I'm realistic about it..


----------



## SouthernTom

No.

If this were a dating site, there are a couple of girls on here who I would contact to let them know that I liked them. But I feel like that kind of behavior is not appropriate on a support forum such as this. So I will refrain from doing so however much I might want to.

If a girl I liked made the first move, then sure, I'd get my flirt on.


----------



## BillDauterive

Yes, I have hit on several females here. Did anything ever come of it? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

They were either not interested, too far away (other side of the world), just disappeared all of a sudden, already liked someone else, etc, or a combination. Same thing goes for any girl I have ever hit on outside this forum.

Tis my horrible luck with women. Sigh.....

If I met a girl online and she really liked me, I would go anywhere in the U.S to meet her. I have a car as well as money for plane tickets. If the girl is located outside the U.S? Well.......I'm still nervous of traveling abroad. 

If there is any girl here who likes me (FAT CHANCE!!!) lemme know by all means. :3


----------



## laagamer

What is this?

Facebook?


----------



## McFly

They need to set up a dating profile section.


----------



## TheWelshOne

Have any of you guys ever hit on someone purely because of their posts, then realized that they're just not the type of girl you're attracted to physically?


----------



## CopadoMexicano

Hitting on females? I dont hit on anyone. Id be locked up. The football player from the ravens for hitting up his fiance in the elevator was a no no.


----------



## Just Lurking

laagamer said:


> What is this?
> 
> Facebook?


It sure feels like it sometimes.


----------



## 525826

nobutapower said:


> I used this site for about 2 weeks and I have already cybered 2 times with the same guy.
> I am a virgin (and was an e-virgin until 3 days ago).
> @[email protected] I must be needy lately.
> Or maybe it's because I'm reading so much YAOI...haha.
> 
> UGH. I'm gonna tell him upfront tonight that I don't want to cyber sex anymore and if he stops talking to me - I guess I will know the answer.


Basically, the guy turned out to be very nice.
We are still talking today.


----------



## CoffeeGuy

No, I don't really get attracted to people over the internet. It's all just words on a screen written by invisible people behind a random usernames.


----------



## AndrewUK83

lisbeth said:


> It happens a lot on SAS. The same guys send similar PMs to different women and see who bites. Combination of flattery and trying to get you to confide in them and open up. Lot of really gross manipulative people on here. You get cynical about anyone who seems too nice after a while.





lisbeth said:


> I think I have more male online friends on SAS than female ones, so it's not like I think every guy is creepy.
> 
> But the point still stands that there are a lot of manipulative people on here. Of both genders, I'm sure. SAS is the perfect playground for people like that - it's full of isolated, lonely misfits who'll respond to flattery and someone showing interest in them, and people who'll almost automatically trust a "kindred spirit" struggling with the same issues. Easy pickings. There are plenty of people who have luck on here, but there are as many sending those PMs who don't have sincere intentions.


Well the majority of people I am friends with are girls same could have been said for real life too up until last year, I just never get on with guys as well though I am not one for discussing cliché girl topics nail polish and the likes though period problems seem to be a regular topic :stu

I usually add people I have interests with mainly so I can have a conversation but I have added the odd random person who has viewed my profile, I figured they might too nervous to send a friend request but to be honest I only really speak to 2-3 people on a regular basis either people don't want to/cant talk unfortunately despite my best intentions to try and be a friend to people its impossible if you cant get anything from the other person one way conversations are very hard work and don't last long which I know is to be expected being on a SA forum its just a shame as they probably feel worse when we no longer speak.

Don't get me wrong there are plenty of girls I wouldn't say no too but I certainly don't throw the compliments round regardless of how attractive you are unless that person has brought up that they are feeling insecure about their looks then its purely to cheer them up.

Its a shame that even a place like this there are creeps but yet again like online dating they still seem to have success and there does seem to be a direct tie to the *Post a pic of yourself RIGHT NOW *thread which I am still debating if it is a good one to have as you only need to look at the profile views sky-rocketing after a pic is posted especially for girls and the same names keep cropping up on visitor messages.


----------



## mezzoforte

nobutapower said:


> Basically, the guy turned out to be very nice.
> We are still talking today.


That's good to hear. He was okay with you not wanting to cyber anymore?


----------



## Sacrieur

I voted yes but it's not like I particularly try.


----------



## donzen

nobutapower said:


> @AussiePea @mezzoforte
> 
> Cybering was fun, but I feel guilty. I don't want to do these things unless I like him. I will clearly tell him I'm not interested when he contacts me later tonight.


My last ex didn't think like that. :lol


----------



## hmnut

There was a girl on this site who seemed to possibly like me, she even pm'd me and gave me her number to chat. 

But it turned out she was still in high school. And I am VERY much not. 

If there was a single gal near my age, who lived not too far from me, on this site, and we got along, I would suggest we hang out IRL, but thus far none of those things has ever happened.


----------



## laagamer

I thought all the chicks on here were dudes.


----------



## hmnut

laagamer said:


> I thought all the chicks on here were dudes.


you're confusing this with World of Warcraft


----------



## laagamer

hmnut said:


> you're confusing this with World of Warcraft


Wait a second.

So you're saying....OH MY GOD


----------



## visualkeirockstar

I pmed two girl that they were beautiful but i didn't want anything out of it just wanted them to know whether if they did or not wanted to know.


----------



## TicklemeRingo

No.


----------



## Limmy

yas


----------



## Hikikomori2014

*too new for that*


----------



## Revazox0210

Hmm interesting thread. I have never has hit on girl on here as I'm new. Tho I had done it two times in real life and I must say it has never worked for me :mum



TheWelshOne said:


> Same! I can't say a word to a guy IRL, but I talk to more guys than girls on here. I feel more comfortable talking to guys. The forum gives us more freedom to do that - which is why I think it's the best place to try this stuff out.


Yeah it's so true. When it comes to RL I barely speak to them and even then if I don't know the girl I'm pretty much getting my nerves all over me then I'm freeze or simply can't say a correct sentence or even word and I'm not even speaking about flirting which I don't really know how to do :blank



anomnomnom said:


> Uh, No
> 
> Although I do seem to get on better with girls, here, other forums...work, everywhere
> 
> I suspect its because they know I'd never hit on them, which is true I wouldn't because I can't be bothered and dont know how, so I'm completely harmless!


From what I can see I'm nearly same as you but I'm simply don't flirt because I don't know why and don't have much female friends ehh ... :|



extremly said:


> I don't know how people do that on this forum. Everyone lives MILES away from each other, people that live close to you might not advertise it on their profile so you never know and on top of that the mood is horrible (lol people talk about depression. Talk about ice braker).
> 
> I give props to people that hook up on this site but it just seems counter productive if your goal is to find someone through the internet. Not that Is just the proximity and abundance is not there. I can understand it in big forums like bodybuilding or kinky hookup forums though.


Well there are many cases where two people lived so far apart and have that something at the end the couples just moved in together and has happy life to today.

Tho there are also dating websites which I think are waste of time as most of the time someone try to exploit people or simply there are so many male predators on those websites that there are not so many females there. Ahh and yeah it's usually cost money ... Premium accounts :blank



therealbleach said:


> to be honest, I know this is horrible but I can't really feel attracted to girls unless I know what they look like and I typically assume most of the ones who post here are ugly..


and that's true because ?



crimeclub said:


> You must not come here often, this site is full of attractive people.


:clap:clap:clap:clap:clap:clap



OutsideR1 said:


> Hook up already


You know the games ...



CowGoMoo said:


> Hell yeah man. First chat, then you get the kik, then you get the # and call, then you get the nudies.


If that were so easy I would have girlfriend by now ...



Cenarius said:


> I would try but I don't know how.


Same with me, I really don't have a clue how to do this plus I'm the shy guy in RL so that's come truly hard for me. Tho I never hit on woman first, I'm just don't know why.


----------



## Bbpuff

I have never hit on a girl/guy on here personally, but I have had others do it to me in the four years I've been a member on this site. I actually had two relationships come out of it too. The first one was short lived, I was very young at the time (still am) and didn't know any better. But the second one is still ongoing, and actually made it to real life. You never know what might happen. A lot of relationships have blossomed because of this site, so I'm really thankful that I became a member here.


----------



## minimized

Look out, here comes the creeper...

Eh... *cough cough* you're looking rather... attractive in that headshot you posted in the picture thread. Eh... I don't have a job or anything but you're always welcome to let me stay at your place.


----------



## McFly

When am I not hitting on sas girls?


----------



## crimeclub

George McFly said:


> When am I not hitting on sas girls?


"You are my density...I mean...destiny..."

...Works every time.


----------



## Yer Blues

Nope. I can barely talk to people in general, never mind hit on women.

Once the doctor dopes me up on elephant tranquilizers, watch out ladies! Uh, and guys should watch out because I hear that elephant tranquilizers are pretty good stuff. And lets be honest guys, who hasn't hit on a guy with long hair by accident while inebriated? 

I hit on a shaggy mop when I was drunk in my teens. I thought I had walked into the women's bathroom, not the janitor's storage.


----------



## Darktower776

@Yer Blues - Hope you are doing okay.

I think I already answered the question but no, I don't really feel comfortable hitting on women in general. I like talking to people and maybe joking around but I'm not in a good place to try to genuinely start a romantic relationship with someone.


----------



## Yer Blues

Darktower776 said:


> @*Yer Blues* - Hope you are doing okay.


Yeah, I'm alright now. I had a bit of a meltdown the other day and deleted all my friend's on my friend's list. Nothing to do with anyone on there, I just tend to isolate when I'm not doing too good. If it wasn't for the Effexor I probably would have left the forums for good. Now I don't stay depressed for as long now.

The positive uplifting stories on SAS keep me coming back.


----------



## donzen

Super Marshy said:


> I have never hit on a girl/guy on here personally, but I have had others do it to me in the four years I've been a member on this site. I actually had two relationships come out of it too. The first one was short lived, I was very young at the time (still am) and didn't know any better. But the second one is still ongoing, and actually made it to real life. You never know what might happen. A lot of relationships have blossomed because of this site, so I'm really thankful that I became a member here.


That's great!
Btw I love your location, It's a shame the scorpions there didn't like me tho.

Ontopic: I've hit on some girls, but those were already friends of mine before.
But I've never hit on a girl on these forums neither did someone hit on me so it seems fair.


----------



## Owl-99

I would have more chance of winning the lottery.


----------



## Znuffle

I hit on everything that moves.. Is fun. It's like a game and only I am winning all the time because i'm awesome.. If I get rejected.. I'm awesome. If I get accepted.. I'm awesome. Everything I do is awesome. I'm not saying it because I want to be awesome or because I have imba ego. It's just how it is.. I can't help it.. I'm just really awesome.. Tough **** ;D


----------



## arnie

Sequoia said:


> I would have more chance of winning the lottery.


How do you have 17,000 posts when I don't remember seeing you before... :con


----------



## srschirm

The best relationship I've ever had was with a girl I met here.


----------



## srschirm

arnie said:


> How do you have 17,000 posts when I don't remember seeing you before... :con


Must be a name-change because I'm thinking the same thing!


----------



## crimeclub

arnie said:


> How do you have 17,000 posts when I don't remember seeing you before... :con


Lol if you change your name and avatar pic you basically vanish.


----------



## Persephone The Dread

crimeclub said:


> Lol if you change your name and avatar pic you basically vanish.


I nearly did that myself, but then realised I couldn't be bothered deleting the number of threads I'd need to to make sure it really wasn't obvious, and I'm kind of attached to my name.


----------



## Hikikomori2014

because he's Illuminati
:idea


arnie said:


> How do you have 17,000 posts when I don't remember seeing you before... :con


----------



## crimeclub

Persephone The Dread said:


> I nearly did that myself, but then realised I couldn't be bothered deleting the number of threads I'd need to to make sure it really wasn't obvious, and I'm kind of attached to my name.


So your intention was to fly under the radar? You're a staple member so that would be weird, like a popular character on a tv show dying. Though I've realized the associated persona makes a username good or bad so I'm sure you could scrub your profile of any evidence, reincarnate as 'poop my pants' and in a few weeks people will be thinking "That new chick is pretty rad, solid name too." No pun intended. :blank


----------



## Persephone The Dread

crimeclub said:


> So your intention was to fly under the radar? You're a staple member so that would be weird, like a popular character on a tv show dying. Though I've realized the associated persona makes a username good or bad so I'm sure you could scrub your profile of any evidence, reincarnate as 'poop my pants' and in a few weeks people will be thinking "That new chick is pretty rad, solid name too." No pun intended. :blank


lol thanks, but I doubt it, I just post 90% depressing stuff now. I could easily see myself becoming one of the most unpopular/whiny people on here if I became anonymous. It would be interesting I guess.


----------



## Arthur Dent

I don't hit on anyone. _Ever._


----------



## Bbpuff

donzen said:


> That's great!
> Btw I love your location, It's a shame the scorpions there didn't like me tho.


You're actually the first one who has ever mentioned it! I had it as Falador before, but ended up realizing Al Kharid is more fitting since I live in a desert climate. & Don't worry about those silly scorpions, once you're a high enough level they'll leave you alone and you can gather precious ores in peace. c:


----------



## Aribeth

I only got hit on by the type of guys that wanna show their d***s after 5 minutes of talking...
so I wouldn't call that a success...


----------



## Cenarius

Aribeth said:


> I only got hit on by the type of guys that wanna show their d***s after 5 minutes of talking...
> so I wouldn't call that a success...


How about a guy who will wait until 7 minutes


----------



## therealbleach

reading the OP now after all these girls report on their inboxes full of d*** pics. "There are a lot of pretty single females here who are just waiting to be wooed. It's just a matter of who's going to make the first move" lol


----------



## Elixer

Nah, but after reading through a little bit of this thread it's definitely a possibility now.


----------



## Jesuszilla

No it doesn't feel right to hit on girls here for some reason. The closest I'd get is casually talking about sex (very rarely) but I keep it on a friendly level


----------

