# Do you feel you can be honest with your MH professional?



## Terranaut (Jul 11, 2013)

BY MH I mean "mental health". 

In order to get free of social anxiety and the various syndromes we white-wash with the brush called "depression" we have to be absolutely honest. But if you say, use recreational drugs, owning up to it can bring on a number of dire outcomes that may impact or end one's treatment. I for one have problems in that regard. But I also have tons of experience--I'm 58+ year of age--and that experience has told me that mental health professionals seem to want easy cases and of course never have the same experience that the patient does. They may have been ex-addicts or alcoholics but so many seem to "believe" in the "one-size-fits-all" answer of 12 step fellowships where you "believe away" you problems, or just knuckle them out with "like-minded" people. I have been through decades of that I never have found one "like-minded" person that thinks or acts like me. And everything seems to tell me I can't be honest because they WON'T help me--they don't know how, they don't want to know how, the law won't let them etc etc etc

Can anyone identify with this contradiction? For one thing, after my attempted suicide in 2003, I went to therapy sometimes four times a week and saw a pychiatrist two. Not one--not one asked me if I had physical pain. Every one of them assumed my addiction was completely for fun and pleasure. No one ever asked me if I slept well--when in fact I have spinal stenosis in the neck (and thorax plus herniated disk in lumbar) which bothers me so badly I can't sleep unless sedated. I'm starting to feel hopeless and scared again--and that, more than ever, not one person, even if paid to do so, will do anything to help me unless it's in the one-size-fits-all manual. They won't even make time to listen--and at my age and disability I don't care if they give me sedatives--the trouble is the "one-size-fits-all" book is for a healthy 20 something and not a broken, kicked around guy pushing 60. And this "red state" I moved to is more repressive and spying than what I'm used to in my home state of NY. They promise privacy here, but then they have the same information on the state computer about you where if one person writes the word, say, heroin, that seems to be the only thing anyone sees. It all seems like a lie and a self-contradicting bunch of nonsense to create the illusion of treatment. 

I want out of the street, out of taking chances with the law, but they (MH) kick you back out and think nothing more of you. Anyway, anyone share experience?


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## VakarineMy (Oct 1, 2013)

I haven't been to any kind of therapist since I was a kid. But no, then and now I never felt like I could be honest with them. Too paranoid that they might not like how I really think or how I live my life. 

I would love a therapist that I could totally open up to but I don't know if that's possible. Now that I think about it, I'm the same way with my medical doctor.


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## error404 (Oct 18, 2010)

I start out withholding information, then I get to a sweet spot where I can reveal everything, and then I get to know my therapist too well to be able to share uninhibitedly. I fear she judges me now, especially since she knows the (almost) worst about me and I've been seeing her for 2 years and made minimal progress. Most likely irrational, but I'm in a bad spot for 'recovery' nonetheless.


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## flight (Jun 22, 2009)

Yes I feel I can be honest with them, but I just honestly feel that they can't help me.


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## sad vlad (Nov 9, 2013)

I am an honest person so YES. I have a very hard time talking about my feelings for others but if it makes sense why that would be required, I will struggle to do it.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

My mental health professional doesn't have all the features I would like on such an expensive robot.


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

I do feel comfortable with my new therapist compared to past ones. She's intelligent and warm. So yeah, I can be honest with her about my problems.


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## renegade disaster (Jul 28, 2009)

my general opinion is that if you can't be honest with your trusted mental health professional then who can you be honest with? you need to disclose your problems to be able to get the required help and to keep things in perspective. it can be hard for those that have trust issues but its a barrier you need to push past because you need to see the bigger picture ,and that if you don't talk honestly you won't be given the help,understanding and things you need. that in fact can be applied to lots of situations in life,not just for doctors/therapy.

in reply to your particular situation ,no disrespect but it sounds like you have had dealings with some pretty shody mh "professionals". sounds like they have an agenda to push rather than actually looking out for and doing what the person needs (that's how it should be with health). I dunno what the system is like over there but if your experiences are anything to go by then I feel truly sorry for some of you guys. 

must be tough, can you get any more choice? I realise that in a lot of cases you have to pay to get the help you want. so maybe its a case of paying more to get the standard you want? in an ideal world this sort of thing shouldn't really be applied to medical care but thats another debate entirely... 
find a way of screening any prospective candidates which you chose to work for you/with you. if you are worried about charlatans,people with bad intentions,practices and potential breaches in trust ,you're gonna want to know their background,philosophy,opinions,ethics.


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## Justmeandmyguitar (Nov 24, 2013)

I used to when I was a nieve teenager, and pressured to by percents and doctors to see a psyche. Then went through a revolving door of meds to no avail for almost a decade. 

There is no way someone can sit and talk to someone for 15-30 minutes and diagnose them with a mental illness. I was reading the new DSM….geez I could label literally everybody I know 'mentally ill' or diagnose them with a 'personality disorder'. So I don't see one and could never be honest again without feeling judged or some absurd diagnosis given.

I'm in no way at all saying some of these diagnoses are not real, I know they are, but it just seems they are being abused by psychiatry slapping labels on everyone nowadays.


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## JeanniesRiver (Feb 20, 2014)

Yes, I do.. I've opened up completely with my therapist and my GP. There is nothing I can't say. Nice feeling. Like flying free. Hard to get to for me but worth the sweat and pain.


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## Agalychnis (Feb 25, 2014)

essemsee said:


> I start out withholding information, then I get to a sweet spot where I can reveal everything,QUOTE]
> 
> I dot his at first too; seems like you're constantly trying to pass some kind of "test" to prove you're not crazy. Haven't reached the "sweetspot" yet but hopefully my time will come  Good luck.


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## CEB32 (Mar 6, 2014)

I thought i could be honest until recently. I also suffer from CFS and at a metting they asked if i felt like needed something which wasnt being provided, so i said a massage from a physio and she looked at me like i had asked her for sex lol.

Kind of makes me worried in regards to talking about my raging hormones after that. My GP on the other hand seems fully able to listen to anything, luckily as it was him i had to initial tell all my issues to recently


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## aquariusrising (May 19, 2014)

I've never been able to fully open myself up. They get so annoyed with me and the women hate me. The more I reveal the more the counsellors look at me like "wtf are you doing here". Whether that is social phobia or not... I know it isn't going to work once I get "the look". Everyone just sighs and just gives me such generic questions they ask everybody else. Like I work from a textbook!!


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## AttemptingNormal (Oct 2, 2013)

I withheld a lot of stuff that I felt would probably be irrelevant or too time consuming to explain, but mine was pretty good and never judged me or tried to make me into an easy case.

She never pushed me down one line of treatment if I wasn't ready for it, even if it was her speciality. For example, I'd been thinking about taking up some kind of mindfulness meditation or loving-kindness\compassion based mediation after reading a book on the topic. I suggested it to her, and it turned out she had ran a study on it and was a bit of an expert in it.

She encouraged it only as she saw that I was willing to sit down and do it. Over the course of therapy this happened a lot, and in a way it was better, because I ended up trying a lot of things, discovering them for myself. This way I came out of therapy with a lot of experience in trying new things and a lot of new tools.


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## inerameia (Jan 26, 2012)

Yes. I get the klonopin for anxiety. Kinda wish I got xanax instead though. Haven't been to therapy for a while. I'm doing fine without it.


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## serenity93 (May 16, 2014)

I feel that some things are irrelevant or that I can't explain in an effective way, but I've been forthright and honest with everything. My anxiety doesn't help sometimes, though it's come a long way since beginning therapy and medication, and in general, my shrink is non-judgemental and kind though aloof, but it's more me coming into my own, progressing at my own pace. I suppose that's the whole point of therapy, anyway?


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## hoddesdon (Jul 28, 2011)

They are supposed to be bound by confidentiality, so you should be able to. Something which seems unimportant to you may actually be useful to them.


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## zcrum (Jun 1, 2014)

I've always been honest with them.


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## soulsurviver (Jun 17, 2014)

Depends on the therapist. Some are just too judgemental


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## WhispersWithWolf (Apr 23, 2014)

I've poured my hear out to them, but it hasn't helped. They don't give any advice that I couldn't come up with on my own or find on a motivational poster. Robotically saying, "that must have been hard" doesn't help. The fact that someone needs to be paid to try to help me definitely doesn't help.


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## Mxx1 (Feb 3, 2015)

Depends on the therapist, i don't feel comfortable with the one i have now, so i can't really be honest with her.


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## Marshmallow Peep (Mar 17, 2015)

soulsurviver said:


> Depends on the therapist. Some are just too judgemental


Most are very judgmental!


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## INFJCAT (Feb 21, 2015)

I did see a psychologist who aligned with my values for about 5 sessions which at the time my work insurance covered for. I'd say the first 3 sessions really helped open my eyes - the remainder I felt the psychologist was diverting away from the issue and trying to go into other unaffected areas either to bid time; or perhaps he was trying to uncover other areas that somehow did affect my anxiety and depression but I may have not seen the link. 

The first session I was dead honest and pretty much laid out what I was going through with significant level of transparency; which even surprised me. I figured the more I gave him to work with, the more he's able to identify solutions. I don't think I regret divulging that much information, as I felt it did yield results and released some of the darker parts of my soul/heart and quit literally got it off my chest. Since then though, I've tried to forgive myself and put the past behind and look forward to the future. 

I'd say overall it was worth my time, but I probably wouldn't pay out of pocket long term as it would be in the thousands of dollars which I don't have that kind of financial means.

The psychologist can only do so much I think; I feel I am the one in control that has to make the decision and be confident in it.


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