# Feeling overshadowed



## katheryncats

Hello! I'm new to this site, but i really needed to vent and hopefully get some advice and help. English isn't my first language, so i'm sorry if there's some things i wrote wrong.

So here's the thing. I do like my best friend, i trust her with all my heart and we are very close. But the problem is i constantly feel overshadowed by her, as if i was always competeing against her. I mean, i'm talking about her personality and social life. We're the typical "unpopular & popular girl" best friends, you know? And i'm the unpopular friend here. 
She's a very extroverted person and very popular. She's friends with everyone at my school, and everyone she meets falls in love with her, boys included. Every boy falls down to her toes because she's "hot". She also posts occasionally videos of her singing and honestly i don't really think she has a good voice, but i don't have the heart to tell her that, also because i'm not going to descourage her from following her dreams. Everyone tells her the opposite though, that she's an amazing singer and has potential. It's like everytime we're together, people just forget i'm even there. The attention goes all for her. People only talk to her, but it's like i'm just a decoration there. No one pays attention to what i say, no one really cares for me.
I'm really upset because i'm funny, i'm nice, i'm a good person to be around. I'm a positive person. I like talking to people and i'm honest and trustworthy. I don't consider myself extroverted, but not introverted either, i'm in between. And people don't even care! And the worst is that i'm talented too. I can sing well, and i really enjoy acting in plays. And no one cares about that, i think no one even knows what my talents are. People only pay attention to my friend. No boys like me, and they constantly say things like i'm ugly, have no boobs/butt, and i'm a skeleton, which really hurts me. It's like i'm screaming that i'm here and no one listens, but when she whispers everyone runs up to her. I feel like when i try to approach her friends, they don't give a damn about me, they small talk with me. And when we (me and my best friend) go out together, say to the mall, with a group of friends, i always get left behind, no one waits for me, i try to talk but someone always interrupts me.. At least my best friend does care, because if that happens she asks "Where is she?" and tells her friends to not leave me behind or stuff. And it's still embarassing! Most of the time i have to go to a bathroom to just sit there for a while and calm myself down, because i don't want to make people think i'm weak, stupid and vulnerable. It's sort of a competition, at least for me, because she doesn't even have a clue i feel this way. She copies all the jokes i tell her and tells it to everyone, and they laugh and actually care, but when i try to say something no one cares. Hell, even when she takes pictures with my own things, i get jealous because there's always someone complimenting them and i feel like they should be complimenting me. I always try to buy more expensive things, dress better, be funnier, get the best grades possible (her grades aren't good but mine are), take pretty pictures of myself, and tell her about my vacations for example, just to make myself feel a little more superior than her. I know that it doesn't seem like a big deal, that i'm just over conceited, and i'm probably talking non-sense, but i really need advice. I don't want to feel like i'm constantly being overshadowed by my own best friend. I just want attention, i want friends who actually care for me too, because i feel like i deserve it too. I'm working really, really hard not to snap at her and end our friendship, because i really value it, we hang out together almost everyday and she's a good friend. But this is really bothering me and leaving me upset. I admit that i envy her very much, but i don't want to tell my therapist that because i'm afraid she'll think that "i can't be happy for someone", that i'll never get anywhere in life or "i'm just a attention seeker". I'm the worst friend ever, that i admit too. But i want to become a better friend, not just for her but for everyone.


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## newageretrohippie

advice on what exactly?
to me it just sounds like you have a bad case of jealousy. don't end your friendship with a good person by being a bad person and getting mad at her because you're jealous. 
You shouldn't think like this, its a very negative mind set. its understandable you would be jealous, but maybe her friends dont know you really and only talk to her because they're her friends. you shouldn't be trying to compete against her, she's your teammate if anything. you just have to accept that being pretty will get you more friends but some times the friends are only in to her because she's attractive and are just pretending to be her friend, so you shouldn't even really care if they're your friend or not. 
friendship is rare, don't kill it.


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