# SA causes



## Sourgirl25 (Mar 25, 2013)

What personally, do u think are the causes of SA?


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## worldcitizen (Aug 28, 2011)

Humans. For as long as other people exist, no medication or therapy can cure my SA. Some humans are good but ~95% are driven by the same cruel, selfish motivations and it is these people that make life difficult for those of us who don't quite "fit in" and we are driven to anxiety and mental illness as a result.


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## Zero1060 (May 14, 2013)

I believe my SA sprouted during child hood. I had many traumatizing events growing up that I never really resolved in my mind. One particular issue had tortured me for my entire teen life. My scent was unpleasant to most others and it caused me to distance myself, literally, from my peers. On top of this I was harassed about it which caused depression. My thoughts were constantly on a way to make myself smell better. As an adult I seem to have discarded whatever was causing my "gross" scent. 

I think SA can come from many different places maybe even being born with it.


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## steph22 (May 12, 2013)

years of isolation, bullying, teasing, rejection from peers and just feeling out of place. pretty much. :roll


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## TheCanadian1 (Sep 14, 2009)

In grade 8 I moved to a new city. I did not know how to adjust socially and was never accepted into a group of friends until grade 10 in high school. I was teased and bullied, often jokingly and people did not realize that it was shaping my social abilities. I've lost all confidence in myself when around strangers. I'm ashamed of who I am and my failures. I am ashamed to be my parents son. They love me, but I feel that I've let them down. Embarrassed them. Disappointed them as well as myself. I feel that others are judging me, and when I open my mouth I say something dumb... then get a belittling comment from someone. It's that bullying feeling all over again, but they're just having fun... They don't know I can't take it.

I'm isolated. The friends I made in high school have moved on in life. They've gotten married, and are having kids. I'm at home in my parents basement, wasting my life away.


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## Werebear (May 6, 2013)

Personally, I feel like it might be connected to the bullying I experienced constantly through primary school. I can still vividly remember being mocked by other kids, and having everything I said either pointedly ignored or twisted around and turned into a joke against me. I ended up feeling like it was better to just stay quiet and I guess it just got worse from there?

That said I really have no idea, I must have had no social skills before that if the other kids singled me out as being so strange? idk


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## Hamster12 (Jun 11, 2012)

For me it's just caring too much about what other people think about me. I don't know why I'm like that. I spend way too much time analysing what people think about me. I was bullied a little as a child, but I was a sensitive quiet child anyway which could be why I was an easy target. And certain family members seem to have a bit of SA, so it could be hereditary.


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## jook (Nov 25, 2009)

It seems to be the same for many people who develop this order. Some type of trauma in childhood. what caused the trauma can be something that wouldn't have been traumatizing for someone else but was traumatizing for that person -- parents divorced, bullying, moving to new school/city, molestation, emotional/psychological/physical abuse, constant humiliation... Not all, but MANY people with SA have had some event/events happen during childhood that for them were earth shattering. Or shall we say "self" shattering. Some people will say this is not the case with them, but for many it is.

I, myself had the whole gamut...sexual, physical, emotional abuse, teasing/bullying -->humiliation, frequent moves, frequent changes in schools, belonged to a religion that required me to dress and eat differently than other kids.

Trauma can actually impede the developing brain in a child. The body continues to grow while the emotional brain doesn't. Hence, you get adults who are now afraid to go "play with the other children."


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## fredbloggs02 (Dec 14, 2009)

I found no place anywhere. I am easily made to feel ashamed and was singled out a lot when I was younger. I take time to grow accustomed to the new. I have a constancy and depth of mind unlike the majority of those I have known. Society has always been abrupt and shallow to me. I could move quickly too if there were purpose in my movements; otherwise it flashes at me from a distance.


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## TSpes (Jan 20, 2013)

steph22 said:


> years of isolation, bullying, teasing, rejection from peers and just feeling out of place


i feel your pain


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## matthewebbert (Apr 5, 2013)

Some of negative events in life, such as family conflict..


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## blu xo (Dec 27, 2012)

Dad, bullying, difficulty in adjusting in the US but more than myself, seeing how my siblings had a hard time adjusting. So many bad memories burned into my brain.


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## CheezusCrust (May 23, 2013)

Genetics activated by abuse/poor parenting, bullying, and thinking too much about how ****ed up the world is.


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## jackbarrett (Oct 15, 2012)

Low self esteem, traumatic events, bullying at school (main reason), drug abuse.


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## mardake (May 31, 2013)

For me I've had SA for as long as I can remember, at least since kindergarten. Although it's gotten worse from school bullying and later FMLA retaliation/hostile workplace I use to work at.


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## xgodmetashogun (Apr 2, 2013)

Trauma...low self esteem,and self shame


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## percon21 (May 25, 2013)

I don't think it was any single event or person that caused my anxiety. Although, there was this boy in the 8th grade that was particularly cruel to me. It was so long ago that I don't really remember what he did to me but I remember the way he made me feel. Then there was my abusive father, my weak and needy mother, the neglect that I used to experience, and the suffering that I used to witness of the people I loved as a kid. It all had a significant toll on me. I used to be so desperate for attention and love (even now) and the repeated rejection only reaffirmed my belief that I am worthless and unloveable. The bullying in middle school really damaged my self-eestem even now as an adult I struggle with the memories of it.


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## Canucklehead (Aug 28, 2012)

The ego.


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## GetOutOfMyHouse (Jan 9, 2012)

...


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## Eazi (Mar 27, 2013)

pressure from society on top of poor behavior which lead to bad experiences.


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## Tudom (May 28, 2013)

I think I am luckier than many people in terms of coming from a stable family. My formative years were secure and i loved my early childhood. I was in fact a bit of a leader, but when i got to about 10 or 11 things seemed to change, and by 13 or 14 i really felt like I was battling to keep my friends at school. Everyone seemed to branch off when i wanted to stay the same. The last year of school i was spending lunch times alone, trying to look busy and by the time i left school i was very socially insecure. The few friends i still had i tried to avoid and hence they stopped contacting me so often. I think one cause was me being a late bloomer and not being interested in dating or girls until much later, hell i was playing with lego when my friends were discussing boobies. If they discussed stuff like that when i was there i felt instantly alone and left out, i felt i could not contribute. The other reason was probably my bitterness as the former. I became increasingly critical of others when they had not really done anything to me. My realisation of that later has enabled me to build new friendships, i now try to see the best not the worst in people.


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## Sourgirl25 (Mar 25, 2013)

Sourgirl25 said:


> What personally, do u think are the causes of SA?


Controlling and verbally abusive/ some times physically abusive mother.


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## Beetleguise (May 30, 2013)

Genetics for me imo


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## EccentricCat (Dec 8, 2013)

Emotional and mental abuse. Constantly being compared to my other siblings who were/are smarter than me. Being brushed off as just being angry or complaining. Being brushed off as not being interested in anything, because I didn't show interest (just because I didn't, doesn't mean I wasn't). Being bullied. The education system and its emphasis on science, math, reading and writing. If you didn't show 'satisfactory' levels of knowledge in these fields, you weren't seen as being intelligent and were treated as such. Yeah, I got that from my family, kids at school, and my teachers. 

I wish I could take my two bachelor's degrees and my current GPA and shove it up their (past peers, teachers, and certain family) asses so they could sit and spin for a while. 

Even as an adult I get treated, by certain members of my own family, as though I can't think for myself or figure things out. Even 'friends' have treated me this way. Or, treated as though I should get everything right the first time, speaking, writing...


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

99.99 percent unfortunate life experience along with many other causes.


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## LowlyRose (Dec 9, 2013)

I was verbally abused as a child by my step-mother. I was homeless for a couple years, living with my father, moving shelter to shelter, family member to family member. I always remember being shy, but after my father and step-mother divorced I started experiencing depressive syptoms along with panic attacks. Which got worse year after year. Still can't go without taking medication for it. So I guess that's why.


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## aGenericUsername (Apr 7, 2013)

I was never abused, but there was always something wrong in my brain. I was always extremely sensitive to criticism and shied away from other kids. Early childhood rejection. Being weaker, smaller than everyone else. Being a left handed ginger. A lot of people with SA had messed up family lives. Mine was average.


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

xgodmetashogun said:


> Trauma...low self esteem,and self shame


You hit the nail squarely on the head: Self-shame is THE main cause of SA in most people.

Self-shame (also known as "toxic" shame) has been called a "soul-murdering condition" by John Bradshaw (Bradshaw is a toxic shame expert). Gershen Kaufman, in his acclaimed book titled _Shame_, said many psychological & emotional conditions are caused by self-shame/toxic shame (again, they are the same thing).

As for the other conditions of "trauma" and "low self esteem" that you mentioned, they often play a part in self-shame for many people.

Anyways, if you - or anyone else - are serious about curing your SA, then you *must* visit my main thread. It will explain more about self-shame/toxic shame. Also, you will see a link in post #3 of that thread for a plan to heal your toxic shame and thus cure your SA as I have cured mine. Click the link at the very bottom of this post to get on the right path to cure your SA.

Lifetimer


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## remusny (Jun 29, 2013)

Hyperion said:


> In grade 8 I moved to a new city. I did not know how to adjust socially and was never accepted into a group of friends until grade 10 in high school. I was teased and bullied, often jokingly and people did not realize that it was shaping my social abilities. I've lost all confidence in myself when around strangers. I'm ashamed of who I am and my failures. I am ashamed to be my parents son. They love me, but I feel that I've let them down. Embarrassed them. Disappointed them as well as myself. I feel that others are judging me, and when I open my mouth I say something dumb... then get a belittling comment from someone. It's that bullying feeling all over again, but they're just having fun... They don't know I can't take it.
> 
> I'm isolated. The friends I made in high school have moved on in life. They've gotten married, and are having kids. I'm at home in my parents basement, wasting my life away.


OMG that's me, every word.....so sad...


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## Captainmycaptain (Sep 23, 2012)

Lifetimer said:


> You hit the nail squarely on the head: Self-shame is THE main cause of SA in most people.
> 
> Self-shame (also known as "toxic" shame) has been called a 'soul-murdering condition by John Bradshaw (Bradshaw is a toxic shame expert). Gershen Kaufman, in his acclaimed book titled _Shame_, said many psychological & emotional conditions are caused by self-shame/toxic shame (again, they are the same thing).
> 
> ...


I just visited your thread. I could not see the difference between what you refer to as "self-shame" and very low-esteem. If I am wrong, though, please correct me. If I am correct, using words like very "low-self esteem" might make those "self-shame" threads simpler to understand.


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

DRUGSAREnotGOOD said:


> I just visited your thread. I could not see the difference between what you refer to as "self-shame" and very low-esteem. If I am wrong, though, please correct me. If I am correct, using words like very "low-self esteem" might make those "self-shame" threads simpler to understand.


Hi DRUGSAREnotGOOD,

Yes, "low-self esteem" and "self-shame" are very similar. For whatever the reason or source may be, a person starts out with low self-esteem and it leads to that person having full-blown shame about himself or herself. Please click the links below to read 2 posts I made about low self-esteem and it's relation to toxic shame.

Click the following link to go to a reply I made to someone else asking about low self-esteem and toxic shame. http://bit.ly/19IcOmP

Click the following link and then go to the last paragraph of that post for my additional thoughts on low self-esteem & toxic shame. http://bit.ly/1dl1rMW

Lifetimer


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## Belle85 (Feb 8, 2014)

Being bullied as a child really did it for me. I spoke less to people, stopped having an opinion and became passive so that nobody would notice me enough to want to bully me again. 
I started trying to protect myself from anything hurting me,so I became anxious and fearful. I barely finish anything because if it is a bit challenging I think I am too stupid to complete it.Once I quit I never wish to look at that hobby again because it is too painful to be reminded of why I failed. I am too scared to go back to work, I don't believe in myself, I cannot have proper relationships because I am unsure if I can properly enjoy sex. The list goes on.


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## Lacking Serotonin (Nov 18, 2012)

I think my mom played in a big part in it. She was very over protective and thus didn't grow up.


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## cheeda (Feb 12, 2014)

For me I believe my past drug and alcohol abuse affected my brain in some way. But even more than that, the shame I feel over my past. When I meet new people I think " I'm such a loser compared to these people" I feel like they can see right through me and know what I've done.. I don't know how to get passed it.


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## dogapus (Feb 6, 2014)

I'm going to use a big brush and say emotional neglect. 
Many if not all people get bullied/teased/shamed at some point in their lives, but I think all the difference in the world is having that supportive someone (friend/parent/anyone) who can reassure you you're not wrong in being who you are and provide some love through difficult times. Not everyone gets that support, though.
I don't want to blame my family for my own issues, but I keep being led there, so.


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## bluecrime (Jan 27, 2013)

Well, my parents issues with alcohol did not help, but the streaming system at my school really brought it on. I was constantly put in the lowest ability classes and stuck with people I just could not relate to. No matter how hard I tried, and even when I achieved As on my coursework and mock exams they still refused to put me in a higher class and let me take the higher papers for my GCSEs, which caped my grade at a C. it made me feel really worthless, I couldn't fit in and find anyone likeminded and I was basically told I was worthless by the teachers. I wasn't able to develop the social skills I needed to develop at the time, and when I plucked up the courage to ask for help I was quite literally advised to drop out of school when I reached 16. I've never felt I've been allowed to be myself, because whenever I try to share my interests with people, they always say something stupid like 'oh, that's so sad/retarded/stupid ect' and even at 19 this still happens. I lack the life experiences too, and that makes me stand out and the immediate target of ridicule, especially from girls. I have also felt very isolated because I have just never met anyone even remotely like-minded to me. Even on here.


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## SeraphSoul (Aug 4, 2013)

A bit of genetics (my dad's quite a loner), a lot of environment, & lack of nurture...

When I was a kid, I thought I was dearly loved by my parents & it gave me so much confidence. Even though I didn't have many friends because I was considered a weirdo (=P), as long as I had my parents love, I was happy. I was fine.

But then around 5, things slowly turned & well...
at such a young age...When my parents decided to block their love for me it really took a toll on me because I wanted to be loved so bad. All kids want to be loved...
It was crushing when my father decided to say that he was not proud to have me for a daughter & picked at my flaws... 
I remember telling my friends in middle school that his words were like fists to me. He may not hit, bit his words were vicious....

So I'm kinda damaged...
I want to be loved again, but I feel I don't deserve it, because of living with my dad who didn't love my flaws & picked at it, making me feel I'm not deserving of love & that my flaws are like an abomination. And since I spent most of my time with him, I believed other people will not like me for who I am also, so then developed my social anxiety....


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## Lifetimer (May 16, 2004)

SeraphSoul said:


> A bit of genetics (my dad's quite a loner), a lot of environment, & lack of nurture...
> 
> When I was a kid, I thought I was dearly loved by my parents & it gave me so much confidence. Even though I didn't have many friends because I was considered a weirdo (=P), as long as I had my parents love, I was happy. I was fine.
> 
> ...


In other words, you clearly have toxic shame.

And in regards to it being "genetic"... no, that is not likely. Chances are that it was not passed down to you through "genetics" but instead it was brought upon you due to your father's actions, which were a result of his own toxic shame. He in turn most likely received his toxic shame from some other source (it may have been his own parents or from somewhere else).

We learn and model from our parents. If our parents (whether it is one or both) has toxic shame, then that is what we end up learning from them. And it is even worse when we are treated in a bad way to make us feel worthless and/or flawed & defective, such as you were treated by your father.

You CAN heal and get better. I have done it and you can too.

Lifetimer


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## P1e2 (Jan 18, 2014)

I blame it on NVLD and not being able to clearly read nonverbal signals, and as a result I have never been able to fully feel socially confident. Also a little bit of genetics.

Always thought I was just shy and then found out I had NVLD (Non-verbal learning disorder). NVLD includes having a large discrepancy between verbal and performance scores on a neuropsychology test (my verbal IQ is 30+ points higher than my performance IQ). 

That and if I am bullied, verbally berated, etc (by a boss and schoolmates in the past) then forget it I am a goner (socially, self-esteem, etc.).


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

Family kind of did it for me.

My mum was somewhat over protective and a bit OTT in general.

At primary school I had loads of friends as my primary school was down the road and all the kids who went there lived in my area.

Then though, my secondary school was a nightmare. Was miles out in the country, I didnt know anyone and all my primary school friends went to the local secondary school so we lost contact. At secondary school the kids there all knew each other so they didn't need to try and make friends.

I was the odd 1 out and because I had grown up with friends who lived in my area, I didn't know how to socialise and make friends.

Then its gone downhill from there really. People crapping on me, being screwed over, even being bullied has all played a part


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## rubyruby (Jun 17, 2009)

The flight or fight response is too strong in our brains.

I think our
brains are just wired differently.


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## TheThinker1 (Oct 20, 2013)

That's a question. Which I'd like a true answers to. My psychiatric always tells me it's a mental health illness that can be caused by many factors. I personally think it ultimately has some things that went wrong in my childhood.


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## Seethergirl (May 11, 2014)

Probably childhood experiences and environmental factors.
I think overly sheltered childhoods, and parents that are overly protective and dominant can be part of the cause. 
I think it's probably one of those things that can run in genes as well.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Personality.


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## soulsurviver (Jun 17, 2014)

The causes are probably different for everyone, but I personally believe that mine was caused by emotional/ physical abuse by my parents. Being neglected by my family, being bullied at school and having no proper support as an adult


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## W A N D E R L U S T (Oct 2, 2012)

I think being a minority was part of it but I think another thing was negative judgement/criticism from everyone...? Plus, the mother bear is a VERY overprotective lady. But I know that she just wants the best for me.


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## Marleywhite (Aug 24, 2012)

As a child I didn't have any friends but I was happy and not bothered by. Once I started getting bullied for it, my anxiety started developing. I think it also has to do with genes since some family members have all been through depression and other mental problems.


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## jennifer1105 (May 11, 2010)

Traumatic events that happened during my childhood as well as bullying that I received as a child caused me to withdraw and fear people the way I do today.


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

I think there are a lot of demands to be social and meet certain standards in society. Lots of people are asked or forced into being what they are naturally not. It is anxiety inducing for lots of people. Some are better at handling it than others. Some aren't. But lots of people who don't have social anxiety seem to self-medicate with alcohol, drugs, food, or risky behavior.


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## KrazyDave (Sep 19, 2014)

I think there are too many things that have caused mine.

Bullied in school
Emotional neglect from parents
Everyone I put my trust in breaks it
Those that I can trust end up leaving here
The rest of the people here are alcoholic wankers that I don't want to socialise with anyway!


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## The alpaca (Jul 7, 2015)

I think it's because I was just never really taught to socialize and made bad experiences trying it out the first time in kindergarten and being awkward which made people just ignore me,


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## wonderlandianfaerie (Jul 15, 2015)

I was shy as a child and wasn't able to socialize well but got along okay. Then in my teen years I had a lot of bad experiences with adults. 


Honestly, I think if it had been other teens I would have just chalked it up to everyone having strong emotions in their teens, but because it was adults and specifically successful responsible reputation type adults it has given my the impression that I have no idea what sort of behavior to expect out of anyone. If I don't know what people are going to do, if they are going to be cruel or violent or what, it freaks me out.


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## dadadoom (Nov 14, 2013)

Autism, various degrees (ADD is a form of "autism" IMHO).


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## Lauraben (Jul 16, 2015)

Social anxiety mainly caused due to genetic and environmental factors. 

what i thing is that it just because of esteeming yourself very low while comparing others are the main cause of Social Anxiety


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## Fredderika (Mar 27, 2014)

For me, I think genetics and always feeling like I was different from everybody else. 
As for general causes of SA and other anxiety disorders, it's kind of like we need more healthy kinds of stress. Most of our ancestors probably functioned under the positive stress of surviving- the need to obtain food, to look out for dangers in their environments and etc. Things they could usually do something about. Now, in our society, survival is not really an issue. But our brains are still wired to function under stress, so they create less healthy kinds of stress that we can't do much about. That's my current theory anyhow.


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## Mitko (May 3, 2012)

I was an extrovert till 6th grade. I was literally screaming in class, fooling around, sometimes being a clown, etc, when all of a sudden I started to get these insecure feelings everyday because my parents used to fight very often at the time and I was afraid of them getting a divorce. I lost interest in hanging out with my friends, I began isolating myself, etc. I guess 1 year was enough for me to become kind of awkward and introverted. Along with 7th grade came the bullies that totally wrecked my life from there on. Having lost self-esteem for those 2 years, I was a complete outcast in highschool.

In my opinion, most of the causes (if not all) are due to childhood traumas (bullies, isolating yourself for a long time, etc). There is a difference between shyness and social anxiety disorder.

Fortunately now I'm working on improving and letting go of the past. If anybody here is doing dr. Richards' CBT therapy please PM me as I would love to have a few more buddies to do it with.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

Sourgirl25 said:


> What personally, do u think are the causes of SA?


1. Other people

2. Human nature

3. Instinct.

4. Intuition

5. Experience

6. Intelligence

7. Bad luck

8. Technology

It's normal. It's just not PC to say so. "Normal" people are supposed to learn to pretend they're not socially anxious. Some people are much better actors. It's the same reason why some people get paid gazillions of dollars to be someone they're not in a film (many films). If you're a bad actor, you're never going to be in a film anyone wants to see. And if you're a bad actor, you just are. There's no fixing it with effort.


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## fJ27n941G76E8 (Sep 1, 2015)

Werebear said:


> Personally, I feel like it might be connected to the bullying I experienced constantly through primary school. I can still vividly remember being mocked by other kids, and having everything I said either pointedly ignored or twisted around and turned into a joke against me. I ended up feeling like it was better to just stay quiet and I guess it just got worse from there?
> 
> That said I really have no idea, I must have had no social skills before that if the other kids singled me out as being so strange? idk


What he said.


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## DerrickOdea (Aug 17, 2015)

Social anxiety can have many causes, generally it is genetic and some environmental factors.


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## lionlioncatcats (Sep 16, 2015)

All my mental health problems started at puberty, SA is just another brick in the wall.


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## Emilia101 (Sep 17, 2015)

Learning from being in situations you've been uncomfortable in. Therefore with the fight or flight behaviour, you learn that being around people will trigger this uncomfortableness, thus the flight; I avoid all social interaction because of previous situations. It sucks


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## DerrickOdea (Aug 17, 2015)

Some childhood experience can be the reason of SA.


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## anxious d (Jan 9, 2016)

My take is that I don't care about the causes and just want it fixed. It could be a lot of things, the mind is complex as is our society. A lot of variables.


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## JTHearts (Nov 4, 2015)

bad childhood experiences


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## anxious d (Jan 9, 2016)

JTHearts said:


> bad childhood experiences


Incorrect understanding applied at stages where learning is rapid and deeply ingrained.


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## LOSTINTRANSLATION9862 (Jan 11, 2016)

I have to agree with world citizen on this one. Due to my own situation growing up in school i cant seem to reason with people who Blaim drugs ect as most people with this disorder are reliant on them to cope.. I got singled out in my youth being called "gay" because I got anxious one day and put on foundation to cover up spots and from then on my social life and school days took a massive turn for the worst. Not being able to get my words out and often repeating myself on numerous occasions having to defend my integrity. I mean I often wonder what life would be like if I went along with it and lied and Said I am gay but it's not the case Im completely straight.. But yh words progressed into more sinister things like spitting on my neck, back of head, face on school bus, getting food lobbed at me and ofcourse it escalated into violence where i actually got beat up on plenty of occasions such as on bus on way home from school and getting jumped Dozens of times. Makes me want to breakdown and cry thinking about it as I'm now stuck in this awful rhetoric where i look and feel abnormal and unwilling to be myself out of fear. Also it's hard to comprehend what is real and what isn't anymore as every job I have had just hasn't worked out because I feel like it's made me to perceptive and I keep seeing things the average, healthy person would be oblivious too and the worst is not being able to address these things as that would not be a sign of improvement.. Like i have a bad habit where i read people's body postures, eyes and hand movements when in conversations and spectating while my narrative of negativity takes the lead to evaluate what's being said, that's the hard thing that I'm really struggling with, not being able to tell what is real and what isn't anymore because people are naturally inclined to be 2 faced so there would be no point in confronting these anxiety provoking behaviours when there would be no good coming out of it.. Maybe it often is parallel and not connected to me all these horrid things I hear people say, either way it's too much too handle I'm 19 never got my gcse qualifications due to my situation and now my friends that I did make in school are going uni and I can't even keep myself together let alone a job.. Not to mention, being unable to communicate with loved ones or even being able to express emotion due to a fear of being embarrassed.. Only found out last year I had (sad) as I brokedown completely taking alot extacy to try lighten my temperament and still haven't recovered yet, started to think my friends where talking about me behind my back and trying to kick me out the group when in reality well the world's reality I was pushing people away. Also it's one thing being called gay by a male because there was always a chance of a punch being thrown on my part in a moment of despair and it did deter a few people as I broke some mateys nose which gave me some credibility in terms off being a sheep in wolves clothing, kind off made it worst though because that's when it became a group instead of the individual but it was girls that was the WORST being called gay when a heterosexual and having your self humiliated on a daily basis and feeling so unwanted soo disgusting and abnormal. It really does damage at that age I'm actually going to get arthritis when 30 in hand because when it was girls that was taking the piss the only way I could alleviate my stress was to hit a wall or self harm which I also got the piss took out of me even by teachers when I would hit something even though you would think a adult would realise a mental health condition especially a teacher and would of said somthing. (which strengthens my beliefs)
That's a hard part for me I got cheated on with every girlfriend because I did not (do not) know how to communicate with women because of it.. It has got soo bad that I've gone 2 years nearly Without sex as I fear I'm not doing anything right anymore, my face looks morphed and disformed yet people say I look normal and that's not me exaggerating .. I mean people are told to stay away from people like myself because I look dormant with no life to me when I'm just sedated on meds..

I mean that's my story and I'm still bad today as I type this gone all night without sleep as usual, still depending on drugs to keep me leval headed but have started to smack myself in face because the narrative is getting louder. Just dreading it when my mind detaches it's self and tries to sort through all the crap cause aint been this bad in a while.

Sorry for the long post aswell to all my friends on here as you can tell I haven't shared my story before nor do I have anyone in my life I feel really comfortable talking to because my sessions are only a hour and the past is normally something we try to avoid as it hurts alot to talk about it to people.

"just a disclaimer i absolutely respect gay people and have no biased view or anything towards them I'm just explaining how much damage can be done from being called this and it not being true" which i imagine happens alot.

So yes it is society it's self that needs to be evaluated.. Personally sick to the ****ing stomach with total lack of disregard from teachers as a kid because I needed help along time ago.

Sorry again for fingerblasting.


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*Thread wins King's Place today*

Bare raw bone competition between humans. zero detail needed

binary life

nothing analog

nobody listens to me


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*strangers*



Hyperion said:


> In grade 8 I moved to a new city. I did not know how to adjust socially and was never accepted into a group of friends until grade 10 in high school. I was teased and bullied, often jokingly and people did not realize that it was shaping my social abilities. I've lost all confidence in myself when around strangers. I'm ashamed of who I am and my failures. I am ashamed to be my parents son. They love me, but I feel that I've let them down. Embarrassed them. Disappointed them as well as myself. I feel that others are judging me, and when I open my mouth I say something dumb... then get a belittling comment from someone. It's that bullying feeling all over again, but they're just having fun... They don't know I can't take it.
> 
> I'm isolated. The friends I made in high school have moved on in life. They've gotten married, and are having kids. I'm at home in my parents basement, wasting my life away.


Moving school is the worst thing than can happen. 
That age requires friendship practice to flower/blossom for rest of life

ambiguous parents of wrong parents making decisions like brainless politicians

university is a step

taking root in a different town you love but not friends with all the people born there; not just an alien when you arrive. Starts well, but links lost. Locals knew each other with infinite common interests and all changing outlook during life means everyone's accepted since meeting in childhood, but that childhood encounter is lost

colleagues at work? Out of my league


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## ElaEl (Jan 27, 2016)

My psychiatrist said that the cause is probably bad parenting. I agree with her on that. But I also think that some other parents are being worse than are mine. My psychiatrist strongly believes it is not genetic, but I don't want to reject that opinion.


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## RunningAwayfromreality (Sep 11, 2015)

it really depends on the person mine was caused by my eating disorder and other mental illness and years of bullying.


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## rdrr (Dec 31, 2008)

lack of positive social experiences, with mostly negative feedback which lowers self esteem.

lack of positive social experiences, with no feedback which causes irrational and distorted thinking.


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

Sin.


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## shesnotthere (Aug 8, 2015)

For me:
Lack of being in many social situations.
Living in the same small town my entire life with little variety of people to meet.
Meeting my family very little because of them all living in another state, not enough care from parents
Feeling depressed for a good amount of time in my early teen years.
Having insecure thoughts in general: think I won't be successful, won't be smart enough 
Constantly looking down on myself and others


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## IlIlIlIrlpoloIlIlIlI (Feb 5, 2012)

It could be related to toxic chemical exposure, in water, air, and the products we use. Also the lack of nutrients in our diets which has been replaced by empty and harmful substances.


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## handheart (Feb 13, 2016)

In my opinion Sa its caused by mind and of course by negative feelings trauma ,panick atacks etc


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