# I'm the only loner at lunch?!



## forever21 (Mar 9, 2014)

For the past few days I've been walking around the entire campus to try to find a loner to befriend. The first few days of school, I saw a loner but was too nervous to befriend her. Now I think she got her schedule changed so she probably has a different lunch since she's not at that spot. 

So I've been walking around the school trying to find just one loner who was lonely, but I don't see any. I see few groups of pairs, but they all look like they're having a great time talking that it would be awkward to just join in. I mean most of them seem like they could be best friends for years, and to have a random stranger come up to them to join in in on their lunch...I'm not sure how I could do that. 

I have no where to go or nothing to do. I wish I could go off campus but I don't have a car or a pass. I'm a senior by the way. There's no free classrooms to go in and the library's closed. This is really stressing me out. 

I hate coming to school because of the lunches. I'm desperately trying to find just one loner, but I can't. And like I said, I don't want to go up to a group. How awkward and uncomfortable for me especially since I have social anxiety.


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## Koalacrockie (Jul 14, 2014)

I feel your pain, I have the same problem. I actually just don't eat lunch and play basketball by myself in the gym instead.

also i like your signature


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## Streamline (Aug 20, 2014)

Yeah i did the same thing, every lunch i'd just find something to eat on my own.
If i had a car i would've just eaten alone in my car, but since i dont, i have to walk around stray roads with food in my hand to make me look like even more of a loner =/

Pretty much sucks having no friends at university lol


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## chrislostinspace (Aug 12, 2014)

Copy/paste of my university years. From one point and onward I just didn't give a damn anymore.


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## Recessive J (Feb 18, 2014)

Pretty much me in the last few years of high school lol >.<

One of the main reasons why I skipped school sometimes, I couldn't stand lunch breaks on my own


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## Xarin (Sep 22, 2011)

Well, I don't have any advice on how to make friends in this situation. I spent most of my high school lunches alone and only rarely saw someone else who was also alone (I wouldn't have approached them anyways). I was nervous about other people seeing me sitting by myself doing nothing so I would try to find an empty stairwell or bathroom if I were stuck in the school. 

I usually wandered off campus, which unfortunately isn't an option in your case, and it was only slightly more tolerable.


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## Fat Man (Nov 28, 2013)

forever21 said:


> For the past few days I've been walking around the entire campus to try to find a loner to befriend. The first few days of school, I saw a loner but was too nervous to befriend her. Now I think she got her schedule changed so she probably has a different lunch since she's not at that spot.
> 
> So I've been walking around the school trying to find just one loner who was lonely, but I don't see any. I see few groups of pairs, but they all look like they're having a great time talking that it would be awkward to just join in. I mean most of them seem like they could be best friends for years, and to have a random stranger come up to them to join in in on their lunch...I'm not sure how I could do that.
> 
> ...


I can relate. From freshmen to Junior year I use to sit by myself. The anxiety I felt before lunch was unbearable, during lunch I felt nothing but embarrassment, and After lunch was over I felt so relieved yet shameful.

Stay strong. if you keep at it, you'll find someone eventually.


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## forever21 (Mar 9, 2014)

Glad I'm not the only one. Seriously. The one minute that everyone waits for the lunch bell to ring is the most nerve wrecking moment for me. It's just hell that I have to stress out about something everyone else in the school looks forward to. I feel horrible because there are over 4000 kids at my school, and I seriously think I'm literally 1/4000 who has to go solo.


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## IntrovertedLoner (Aug 23, 2014)

Well, I'm always alone at lunch too and I'm more comfortable eating on my own rather than with people whom I am not comfortable with or on large groups of people. :blank It's better to be alone in my opinion. Just be friends with those people who will understand you.


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## Nessie91 (Jan 5, 2012)

I use to hide in the bathrooms


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## NiamhB (Aug 10, 2014)

I have the same problem, you cant leave my school at lunch so I just sit by myself.


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## Fat Man (Nov 28, 2013)

Nessie91 said:


> I use to hide in the bathrooms


Hiding in the bathroom wasn't possible at my school. We had to sign in to use the bathroom, if we took longer then ten minutes the teachers would come in asking for us.


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## 525826 (Aug 29, 2014)

I had some friends to sit with during middle school (no 'real' friends though). When I moved out of state and went on to high school (2000+people)..since I was the 'new kid,' someone was nice enough to ask me during class to sit with them during lunch on the first day. It was a huge group. During the 2nd semester one day, they moved to a different location (to a table booth). It was already full by the time I got there (found it - they didn't even warn). The girl who asked me had a different lunch period during that semester. Anyway, they were all busy talking and getting their lunches. One girl there noticed, but just weakly smiled and... yup, I just had to find another place to sit. I felt very numb and rejected to be honest and that one girl who smiled later ended up sending me a long facebook message (1 year later) apologizing. I said it was okay, but you just can't forget those kinds of things I guess. I ended up approaching two random (but friendly looking) girls and asked if I could sit and ended up sitting with them (or one of them - depending on the lunch schedule we got) for the next two years. To be honest, I wasn't such a great person back (very selfish). Anyway, we slowly drifted apart (we had different lunch periods during senior year) and I ate alone everyday during the last semester of senior year. I didn't like the bathroom so I roamed around the school and ate in empty stairwells. It was embarrassing when a teacher walked by, but luckily no one I knew passed. So yeah... if you don't like sitting alone during lunch, I would look for really small groups of people (like 2) who look friendly. They will most likely say yes. I did just that and I am very shy so you can do it! You are alone already so why not give it a try? What do you really have to lose at this point? Rejection? Yeah, rejection really sucks. If you don't want to do that, I would ask someone you know (who is nice) in class if you could sit with them (say something like "All my usual lunch buddies are in different lunch periods this semester - Can I sit with you guys?") That way - you might come off more normal I guess? I don't know. I used all sorts of those lies and found just being honest felt a lot better so maybe you can just say you don't have anyone to sit with during lunch. I don't know if I helped... lol.


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## SapphicDysphoria (Aug 24, 2014)

Wow, I don't know how I'd be able to go to school if that was the case for me. 

I can't eat in the cafeteria (too scary), but fortunately I'm allowed to go outside & to the library, so I usually grab some food, eat it while switching my books at my locker for the second half of the day, & then browse the interwebs in the library for the remaining 30 minutes.

Had an awkward situation a couple days ago where, while opening my locker, I accidentally flung a ketchup-covered chicken tender at someone's light colored backpack. Quickly raced to the bathroom & tried to casually wash off the dtain before anyone saw (didn't really work)...usually lunch runs a little smoother than that lmao


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## 525826 (Aug 29, 2014)

aww @SapphicDysphoria lol


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## Lonershed (Oct 2, 2017)

Literally same ?. I'm a sophomore and everyday at lunch I go to the library and sit there pretending to do work for 41 minutes. I always have my headphones in my ear but I don't play any music because I'm always afraid that someone is talking about me. Sometimes when the library is closed I have to go hide in the back of the school where the trailer classrooms are because my school doesn't use them anymore. It stinks over there but it's the only place where my sister or anyone in my classes won't catch me by myself. My sister she goes to my school and she thinks I have friends and eat lunch everyday. Thankful she's a senior so she's leaving, but one time she caught me on the staircase by myself and I had to bull**** a terrible lie. I wish I had friends but I am shy asf. I do this terrible thing where I wait for someone to talk to me instead of going to talk to them. When I came to my school I just assumed someone would pity me and become my friend but no one ever ask me to eat lunch with them. I can't wait until I get a car next year so I can hide in the school parking lot. I missed middle school because back then you had to sit with the class you came with so you never had to worry about sitting with friends or by yourself.


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## potato420 (Oct 11, 2017)

I feel your pain that happened to me all during 8th grade in middle school, luckily during high school, I had some "friends" only because we were in the ESL class together (the ones who cant speak English well). through middle school, I just sat at the lunch tables that were outside and I just faced the recreation area and watched all the kids do their thing. I think that is when my Social Anxiety started because before that I had no trouble making friends back in my country of origin.

Maybe just try getting a book and read during lunch, just sit somewhere nice. I recommend "jake reinvented" it is an easy book but talks about high school and a little bit about the topic. You could also watch a movie on your phone or a series or hang out with your favorite professor. I know it sounds so unhelpful but it's all I got. Logically what you need is new friends that is what will solve your problem, so try talking to someone one of those groups of two, tell them your situation what if you become best friends with them and in 20 years from now you still hang out. Don't worry it might all get better in college.


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