# Sticky  Self harm coping mechanisms (Trigger Warning)



## user12345

Please feel free to share your own coping strategies!

Here are a few coping mechanisms that have helped me over the years. The first batch are for immediate use, so if you are in danger of self harming right now, have a look through them. I'd also suggest a quick call to the Samaritans.

The second batch is for more general use. They can also be used for other destructive behaviours, but it takes more time to implement. I suggest you look at these when you are not in a state of urgency.

After some rambling towards the end, I have included a 'No Self Harm Contract' example. This is one I have made for myself and one that I always keep with me. If you are interested in this, fill out the blanks and keep a copy with you at all times. I'd suggest printing 2 - one to carry around with you and the other to keep at home. This is so when you are in that moment; you know exactly what to do.

After reading through this thread, you might find that certain ideas or concepts pop out more to you than others do. I'd suggest writing these down and ignoring the rest, because when you are desperately trying to find something that works, the last thing you want to do is read through a huge ramble and try to find ones that you forgot about.

*Coping mechanisms sorted by emotion for immediate use *

*SADNESS *


Write to or call the Samaritans
Write down what you are feeling
Go to sleep
Listen to lively or sad music
Write a list of everything you want to do in your life, and make a plan to do one
Write to a friend (or call)
Go for a walk
Read a book
Watch something funny
Laugh (incompatible emotions - explained later)

*ANGER, FRUSTRATION OR RESTLESSNESS *


Write to or call the Samaritans
Punch something (preferably soft, in other words, not a wall)
Go for a fast walk or a run
Listen to angry music
Scream
Vigorous exercise (sit ups, push ups, boxing etc.)
Throw ice cubes against a shower wall or bathtub
Squeeze an ice cube really tightly
Scrunch up some paper, unscrunch it and then rescrunch it over again
Destroy something (of little or no value, e.g. a book or a toy)
Throw things (not at people)
Slash an empty plastic bottle or a piece of cardboard or an old shirt or sock etc.


Make a cloth doll to represent yourself or the thing you are angry at. Cut and tear it.
Stomp on empty cans (with shoes).
Have a pillow fight with your wall.
Rip up an old newspaper or a phone book.
On a sketch or a photo of yourself, mark what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture.
Get your hands on some play-doh or plasticine. Throw it. Smash it.
Break sticks.
Find something you want to tear (for example, let's say you go with the newspaper). Start off slowly and start ripping and saying why you are angry. Tell the newspaper why you are mad. Start ripping it faster. Increase your speed. You may end up swearing, yelling, crying&#8230; it helps to vent.
Clean your room
Stomp around in heavy shoes

*TRY SOME INCOMPATIBLE EMOTIONS (explained more later) *


Stretch/yoga
Laugh
Take a bath
Light some candles or incense
Meditate
Listen to Eckhart Tolle!
Cry
Watch something really intense or funny to take your mind off things

*DISCONNECTION (not feeling like you are 'one' with yourself)*


Write to or call the Samaritans
Write down what you are feeling so you can see your emotion
Squeeze an ice cube really hard
Eat a chili pepper
Listen to music that needs focus (a song that you haven't heard before or one with complicated lyrics)
If you play an instrument, play it
If you have a pet, play with it
Laugh
Go for a walk (you can also do this barefoot and feel the ground on your feet - works for me!)
Cry
Snap a rubber band against your wrist
Rub Tiger Balm or something strong under your nose
Slap a table top really hard
Put your finger in a tub of ice cream or in frozen food (despite how weird this would look to anyone around you&#8230; you might want to eat it after instead of putting it back in the freezer).
Take a freezing cold shower or bath
Breathe. Notice your breaths. See breathing techniques for further info later on.
Notice everything around you. What do you see? Count the things you can see. What do you feel? What does it feel like? What can you hear? How many sounds can you hear? Count the sounds you can hear. What do you smell? Count the smells you can smell. What can you taste? What does it taste like? Is it a good or bad taste? You are connecting to your senses.

*WANTING FOCUS OR WANTING TO BE IN THE MOMENT *


Write to or call the Samaritans
Do a task (such as playing Tetris (yeah) or Minesweeper, sewing, playing an instrument, doing a puzzle) that requires concentration.
Choose a random object in your room. Try to describe it, as you would to a blind alien that has never seen this object or even heard of this object before. What does it look like? What colour is it? What does that colour look like? What does it feel like? What does it taste like? What does it smell like? What does it remind you of? Describe it in as much detail as possible.
Do the above exercise with something edible. Then eat it. Pay attention to your salivation as you describe whatever it is you are about to eat.
Choose a random object, such as a paperclip, and list 30 uses for it (this is harder than it seems).

*GRIEF *

Write to or call the Samaritans
Cry! If you find it hard to cry, watch a sad movie. I suggest Marley & Me, which always makes me bawl like a baby.
Go for a bath
Light some candles or incense
Listen to sad music
Write to someone about what you are feeling (Samaritans or friend)
If you play an instrument, play it
If you have a pet, cuddle it
Meditate
Go to sleep
Hit stuff
Let yourself feel and be in the moment. It's ok to be sad.

*GENERAL CRAVINGS FOR SELF HARM*


Write to or call the Samaritans
Sleep
Urge surf*
Watch TV or something that keeps your interest, intensely
Draw on the places you want to harm
Exercise vigorously
Check out 'yin yoga' - it genuinely hurts (or it hurts me, at least)
Throw ice cubes against a shower wall or bath tub, or squeeze them
Eat a chili pepper
Make something
Keep yourself busy

**URGE SURFING*

The general gist of urge surfing is where you tell yourself, "If I still want to self harm in 20 minutes, then I can." In 20 minutes, re-evaluate your position and tell yourself, "If I still want to self harm in 30 minutes, then I can." Keep doing this. Try to go to sleep - things seem less intense when there is morning sunlight.

More often than not, this technique will work. It's worked for me countless times. We get lost in the moment so easily and we think that these feelings, these urges, these cravings are never going to go away. But they will. They will pass, just like every other emotion. We just need to give it some space and give it some time, and accept it for what it is. It is a craving. We don't need to act on it just yet.

Urge surfing is a mindfulness technique - you can learn more about it or go into more depth here: http://www.mindfulness.org.au/URGE SURFING.htm


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## user12345

*Coping strategies for non-urgent use*

*1)	POSITIVE SELF INSTRUCTION *

Be kind to yourself. Praise yourself. You have come this far, and you have read this, and that's a great thing. You're learning more about ways you can stop, or hold off on, self-harm. Well done. Give yourself a hug. Do something you like doing. Tell yourself you're doing a good job.

*2)	BEST FRIEND TECHNIQUE *

I know this sounds a little odd, but be your own best friend. What would you tell a friend who is going through what you are going through now? What would you say, exactly? What would you do? Think about it, and then tell yourself the exact same thing. Listen to yourself.

*3)	INTERPRETATION OF EVENTS*

Why are you feeling the way you are feeling now? What happened? Can you try to interpret this event in an alternate way? Is there an alternate explanation for these events?

*4)	AVOID TRIGGERS*

Self-explanatory. If you know a certain situation is going to make you want to self-harm, stay away from it. For example, I can't be around my family for very long or I get very frustrated and I often turn against myself. So I recognise my limit, and then I leave the situation. I avoid putting myself in the position where I have to choose between myself, and myself.

*5)	CHANGE THE CHAIN OF EVENTS *

I'm thinking that there is a pattern in your self-harm. There are similar triggers from similar events, and you usually respond in the same way. Break that pattern. What's going to happen if this ONE TIME, you don't resort to self-harm? Try it out, and see. Write about it. Just this one time, give it a go.

*6)	BUILD IN PAUSE *

Stop. Say to yourself, "STOP". And stop. Think about this. Gain control over this situation right here, right now. You are in this moment. You don't need to do anything else. Be here, right now, with me. That's all you have to do. Just stop. Stop your thoughts, stop your actions, stop everything. Breathe. Then continue with another coping mechanism.

*7)	BREATHING/RELAXATION TECHNIQUES *

There are so many of these that I will just share one with you now - the one that has been most effective for me.

Go and light some candles or some incense, or whatever else floats your boat. Go and get in a warm bath, or a shower, or lie down on your bed, or sit down on your floor&#8230; whatever helps you to feel grounded. Usually, I just on my floor as it helps me to feel connected. Now breathe in through your nose. Breathe out through your mouth. Breathe in for 6 seconds. Hold it. Hold it for 6 seconds. Now breathe out for 6 seconds. As you are doing this, imagine you are breathing in white light.

Imagine that this white light is circling around your body, picking up all the negative emotions along the way. As you breathe out, you are exhaling black smoke. Continue this breathing exercise, but notice that with each breath out, the black smoke becomes less intense. Soon, it turns grey. It slowly becomes lighter and lighter until you are breathing and AND out white light. Close your eyes while you are doing this.

Check out some more breathing techniques or meditation exercises (you can also create a safe place in your mind - it's a long technique so if you want to learn more just send a PM my way and I'll explain, or just Google it).

*8 )MODELLING *

What would someone that you admire do? What would they say? Imagine they are with you. What are they telling you to do? Listen to them. You admire them for a reason.

*9)	COMMITMENT TO YOURSELF** *

This is actually something that has been very useful for me. I will write more about it and show you an example in my last post on this thread.

*10)	SHARED REINFORCEMENT *

Go and call a sibling. Go and call a friend. Go and call your therapist. Get on SAS and message someone. Email someone. Find SOMEONE and tell them what you are feeling and share the fact that you are not self harming at the moment. Just talk to them about it. Celebrate it. Stay on the phone, or keep writing to them, until the urge subsides. This ties in with urge-surfing as explained in the previous section.

*11)	INCOMPATIBLE BEHAVIOUR *

This is something that all of my therapists have told me to do, but I never listened. Recently I tried this and it worked so I strongly encourage you to give it a go. I'm asking you to do the exact opposite of what you are feeling right now. Where do you want to self-harm? Nurture that area. Wash it gently, bandage it up (without self harming - note that you are bandaging up a clear area) and take care of it. Go and have a warm bath. Light some candles. Listen to happy music. Watch something funny. Do the opposite of what you are feeling.

These emotions are struggling and they are fighting each other. We want the positive emotions to win, so give it a little extra strength and encouragement. Ignore the negative emotions - we don't want them here anymore. They aren't welcome at the moment. We don't want them to consume you, because right now I want you to take care of yourself.


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## user12345

*4 things to consider before you harm yourself, and self-care*

*Do you still want to hurt yourself? *

So you've tried everything above, or at least most of it. You've made a contract with yourself, you've slept it off but these feelings are still there and they are very distressing to you. You've called the Samaritans, you've called a friend, but there is still a massive craving in the back of your mind. It feels like self-harm is the only option, at the moment. I understand how this feels and you must be in a really bad place right now, and I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. I'd like you to consider 4 things right now.

1) Why do you need to hurt yourself? What has made you want to do this?

2) Have you been in this situation before? What did you do to deal with it then? How did you feel about it then?

3) What are the things you have done that have helped you to ease the discomfort? What coping mechanisms have you tried? Can you try any more? What else can you do that won't hurt you?

4) Will you regret this decision later on? How will you feel about it tomorrow? Do you still really WANT to do it?

*If you do self harm (which I hope you don't)&#8230; *

_Warning - this might be triggering for some people. _

If you have self-harmed, I want you to take care of yourself afterwards. I hope that you have used something that is safe- hopefully something that has been disinfected. I'm going to list very basic things you should do if your method of self-harm is cutting.

1) Stop the bleeding. Apply pressure (with a tissue or a cloth) to the cuts to slow it down. Keep holding it there until the bleeding has stopped completely.

2) Run your wounds under warm water. Do not use soap or any other products. Putting your wounds under warm water is going to hurt, by the way.

3) Dry up your wounds and let it air for a little while, applying pressure if the bleeding starts up again.

4) Bandage your wounds snugly.

5) The next day, take off the bandages and rinse it again in warm water. Still, do not use product or soap on it. Just warm water.

6) Air dry it, and then bandage it again.

7) Once you see it starting to heal slightly, you can use antiseptic cream to ward off any infection. I just use normal moisturiser, but that's your call. Keep it bandaged, and if you don't want it to scar then keep it out of the sunlight. Let it heal.

As a general rule - do not put anything on an open wound that you would not put on your eyeball.

*And finally&#8230;*

Do not keep whatever instrument you have used within easy reach. Either throw it away now, or if you feel like you aren't ready for that yet, then hide it in a really inconvenient place. Put it on top of a really high cupboard or on a shelf that you can't reach without a chair, or something. This will work very well in conjunction with urge surfing. You need to create some space between the urge to self-harm and the act of self-harming. One CAN exist without the other, even if in the moment it seems like it can't.

Take care of yourself. You are worth fighting for.

*Some links *

Here is a little reminder of what you deserve. 
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f34/your-personal-bill-of-rights-164630/

And if you need a distraction, check out Desiderata by Max Ehrmann. 
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f34/desiderata-by-max-ehrmann-164629/

The link below is primarily for suicidal feelings but you can also use it for self-harm.
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

As mentioned below, the Samaritans email is,
[email protected]

You can also Google "Samaritans in..." and wherever you live. There will be a phone number.

And lastly, live 24-hour chat with trained volunteers (primarily for suicidal feelings but you can also use it for self-harm) 
http://www.newhopenow.org/counseling/liveperson.html
They stress the fact that they are all Christian on there quite a lot. If you are not religious, please don't let that turn you off. I'm not religious but I occasionally use them, and they are totally fine with that. They have worked for me before and they are very direct (in a gentle way) and supportive. They are incredibly useful when you are feeling completely alone and need to connect with another human being. Sometimes it just helps to know that someone out there is reading your thoughts and responding to them with care.


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## user12345

***No Self-Harm Contract*

I, ________________________ pledge to myself, that if I feel I might be in danger of harming myself, I will call my psychiatrist/therapist, _________________, at ________________or find a professional I can talk to either in ______________, or ________________.

If my counsellor or psychiatrist is not available I will call _________________ at _________________ .

I may also email ____________________, at ______________________, or ___________________ at ____________________.

Other people I can talk to or contact are:

1)	SOS Hotline at __________________________ 
2)	SOS email (for non-emergencies or to vent) at [email protected] 
3)	New Hope online counselling at http://www.newhopenow.org/counseling/liveperson.html
4)	(Include a hospital name and address)
5)	_____ at _____________________
6)	_____ at _____________________
7)	_____ at _____________________
8 )	_____ at _____________________

Other things I may do or try include:

1)	Go to sleep
2)	Watch a funny movie
3)	Cry and allow myself to feel 
4)	Check my coping mechanisms and try every one depending on the feeling at hand 
5)	Urge surf 
6)	Find support elsewhere 
7)	Write 
8 )	Read a book 
9)	Write down everything I am angry or upset about.

I am likely to feel better tomorrow, and if I don't, I will contact someone immediately to gain advice and support. I know these people are here to support me and I promise to try these coping mechanisms before I hurt myself. If I break this contract, I will take action and tell someone about it.

Signed, __________________________________________________
Dated, ___________________________________________________

_Side note - Please keep in mind that you have to personalise your contract to make sure you stick to it. There's no point in including "write" if you don't write, or including a psychiatrist/therapist if you don't currently have one. Make it your own! _


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## Ventura

This is a great post.  Thank you! :high5


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## prow

Very interesting. Thanks. 

I have used the technique (which my Therapist told me about) of drawing with a red marker on the places you want to self harm. It's great if you're a visual person like myself but it can also give you that feeling without actually hurting yourself. 

I haven't tried it but she also suggested the ice cube method which is similar to the red marker method described above.


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## DontDoSadness

This post is very helpful


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## prow

*nods* Very good. Very useful points there.

Just FYI- I got your message but I haven't found a good time to reply yet.



R91 said:


> I totally forgot about another mechanism I have - go out and do something nice for someone else.
> 
> Whether that is helping an old lady across the street, picking up some litter, or even moving a snail off the road so it doesn't get squished. Make yourself feel useful and like you are contributing to someone's life in some small way. Not only are they likely to remember it, but you will feel a lot better knowing you have made a difference.
> 
> On a similar note - go and compliment someone. Doesn't have to be a stranger - maybe your mum is wearing a nice shirt. Maybe your neighbour has awesome plants in her garden. Maybe someone you know has gotten a haircut. Maybe a dog-owner has a really cute dog. Make someone's day - a few small words can go a long way. Never forget the power of speech - and this is going to help you with SA, too. Double score.


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## meepie

R91 said:


> *moving a snail off the road so it doesn't get squished*. .


:yes

I agree with posters. Good post


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## kiirby

This is a fantastic post. People like you give me hope for this forum. Thankyou.


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## RayOfLight123

Wow this has good advice..thankyou


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## Monroee

I think those were some great posts. Thank you for writing those out for people. I had suffered with bad cutting for around 3 years. One day, during a hospital stay, I finally was fed up with being out of control with it and made the decision to try everything in my power to stop. I had a few slip-ups along the way, but I have it under control now. Even more than that - I have no urges whatsoever. I'm very proud of myself for fighting it. I feel very much for everyone who is currently struggling with self-harm, and I hope that you can find the strength to fight it and use the methods described here. 

For me personally, I used red marker on my arms and just went to town with it. I also painted with red paint whenever I felt myself getting lost. It grounded me and made me pay attention to whatever it was I was painting. And it also satisfied my mind's need to see red. The red marker and red paint kinda did a "fake-out" to my mind, giving it that colour soothed me a bit. 

My current coping mechanism, for whatever overwhelming emotion I have, is music. And I don't mean calmly listening to it. I mean, when I'm home, I turn it up loud, I stomp around the room if I need to and I just sing my heart out. I just let it all out as much as I can. If I focus on the music, I can get that energy out instead of it turning self-destructive. 

Everyone is gonna have their own unique way of fighting it. Nobody give up if one thing doesn't help, there are so many techniques and ways to help.


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## Gloric

*Thanks.*

Thank you so much, I'll try some of these next time I get an urge.


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## Lacking Serotonin

I was having a really bad day a few weeks ago and called the mental hospital crisis team and they came to my apt. with at least 10 cops when I told them I just needed to talk.


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## XSamX

This was really a nice post! It's good to keep in mind (I've never self harmed but have considered it too many times)

If anyone on here wants to make a friend to talk about this though, and vent and such, feel free to inbox me or add me on facebook even! I know there are a lot of people who self harm and have a lot of things bottled up that they feel they can't share with friends or family but need an outside person.


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## madein87

Lacking Serotonin said:


> I was having a really bad day a few weeks ago and called the mental hospital crisis team and they came to my apt. with at least 10 cops when I told them I just needed to talk.


 Thats why I never call the hospital line even when my doctor tells me I should when I feel really depressed and self harm. I know its a good thing to get help, but if they say to call just to talk it should be that.


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## HollowPrince

Really good post 



> Watch TV or something that keeps your interest, intensely


I agree with this, I've seen like 3-4 TV Shows in few weeks, and it kept me distracted successfully.Other than that, good music can help, especially the one you can sing along to.

Also - less thinking, just, keep yourself busy as much as possible.Hell, it worked for me


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## Arisa1536

Great threat thank you :hugs:








i also find medication does help if there is that instant desire that overcomes you to self harm or do something drastic. I had an overwhelming urge yesterday with missing home and being surrounded by people with the exception of my lovely hubby who do not understand SA let alone mental illness or medication so i had to take lorazepam but it was a hard and very tempting emotion.


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## Zenders

Lacking Serotonin said:


> I was having a really bad day a few weeks ago and called the mental hospital crisis team and they came to my apt. with at least 10 cops when I told them I just needed to talk.


Thats really scary... it would have made my night so much worse.


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## sad_eyes

This is nice.


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## sassie

pray


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## miserablecow

I try to be around family and try not to be alone. This has helped me a lot.


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## Staticnz

There is one thing that is really important for me. And it's as simple as this - don't keep dangerous or abuse-able items in your house.

Some time ago, I was out drinking, and I got super, super depressed. I fell into a black hole. And I was like, that's it, time to die. So I drunkenly managed to get home, but then I realized, I didn't have anything in my house to kill myself with. I didn't have any sharp knives, in particular. I didn't have any cleaning products. There were no pills anywhere.

So I was just left with a conundrum. I want to die but I literally have nothing available to do it. I think this is important. Try to avoid keeping dangerous stuff if your house.

Last week the doctor gave me Clonazepam, and that was a bad idea, cos of course I abused it until I was totally delirious. I'm not ordering that stuff again. The temptation for abuse is just too great.

So make your house suicide-safe. Only use blunt knives. Don't keep poisons around. Maybe keep your medication in a less accessible place. I think that can really help.


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## NoHeart

Why didn't I find this thread sooner? Should have tried these things instead of hurting myself.


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## decemberxx

I just wanted to thank you for posting this. I like how it doesn't just list coping mechanisms for anxiety alone, but for a range of emotions.
This will definitely come in handy some time.
Thank you so much!!


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## EverEventer

I like this post 
I have horses and they're one of the only things that motivate me not to, so when it triggers I'll go for a ride or something just to clear my head and sometimes it will work, especially if I have my iPod with me too, both of those are things that help me.
Otherwise for quick fixes the rubber band does help, and holding ice cubes.


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## RoseWhiteRoseRed

thank you for the post. haven't tried most of these techniques but the next time I have urges, I'll try them


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## RecklessEndangerment13

I tend to just write something really messed up and dark. Something that gets whatever what I am feeling out, but never writing about self harm itself or using to many "I" statements. Doing that just makes everything feel just that much more hopeless. I try to make my writing more and more dark, sometimes to the point where even I have no idea what I am talking about. I almost make it a game to see how far I can go before I am more amused at it than I am depressed or anxious. Then, I go back and read it from the beginning; laughing at it. 

Gotta have that positive reinforcement at the end for doing something right; otherwise, u just revert back to the blood or whatever ur poison is.


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## entranc3d

Not keeping dangerous items in your house is not really prevention. There's aways a way to kill yourself if it gets to be too much. I think the only thing keeping me from doing it is living at home, and having my mother have to clean up the mess. I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts for so long that they almost become second nature. not really sure how to get rid of them anymore.


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## HanSolo

oh man my arms look foolish now, it was about heatbreak break not suicidal stuff, I think about that sometimes.

I keep my knives scary sharp, way too sharp for the sort of games I used to play on my self


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## HanSolo

It looks real awkward in public, it's only this summer due to heat and losing weight that I am getting used to not hiding the scars all the time

Not sure what I'll do next summer, maybe I won't wear a coat everywhere finnally


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## celes

I actually created a blog to let out my depressed feelings when I get that way. I'll post pictures, words, anything I'm feeling and let it out. It's good to know that the things I'm posting come from what other people feel too, so I feel like I'm not as lost. Sometimes I do it for hours until I calm down. And definitely removing all triggers from my room has been good.


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## Letmebe

Where was this post when I needed it badly 2 months ago?
Wonderful post.


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## HanSolo

Why are there so few posts here, don't more people do this???? I haul off a punch fences and road signs lately, I really have to watch it though because I'm an Apprentice Shred Lord, and also it increases arthritis risks.

Also I whack myself with iron weights, and sometimes smack my shins with a little pipe. Not very hard yet, but....no more knife play, it looks too pathetic


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## dizzyizzy919

Nothing does it better than a bunch of nice cuts though...I can't seem to wrap my head around coping mechanisms and I don't see why it's bad for people to cut.


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## DaydreamBeliever10

dizzyizzy919 said:


> Nothing does it better than a bunch of nice cuts though...I can't seem to wrap my head around coping mechanisms and I don't see why it's bad for people to cut.


People just see it as bad, cutting is less acceptable than say smoking or alcoholism. Some people need help getting through this stressful hell hole they call life and they might go and light up or have a drink and that's seen as ok by some but you slash and hack your skin with a blade or knife for the same reason and people haul you away to shrinks and hospital and make life so much worse.

I've been in a bad place the last few weeks, just been really unwell emotionally/mentally. Something happened and I burst into tears and then didn't care if people noticed or whatever and cut a few times. Later at work I calmed down enough to cover up the cuts. No one usually notices and I thought I would be taking my self help secret with me to the grave so I just let it go. I did try and hide my arms but obviously I didn't do that good a job as a friend at work just straight out asked me "are you a cutter?" Not what happened to your arms or anything like that. I nearly had a heart attack, no one has ever asked me anything about my injuries. I panicked and said no, she pointed out the cuts on my arm and I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. I tried to say my cat did it as I do have many scratches and cuts from my cat and I usually try and make my cuts look like they were made by an animal but these ones didn't and I don't think she believed me.

I don't want people looking at me differently or thinking I'm going to cut everytime something goes wrong or for every little stressor. I think I went into shock, I felt yuk emotionally and physically sick. I thought maybe this wake up call will shock me into not cutting anymore but it only lasted a few days. Now the urge is back stronger than ever but I'm only cutting in places that are covered by the most basic clothing as I think my friend might be watching out for more cuts. I've been going to great lengths to cover up the other more noticeable cuts the last couple of days, just until they heal and I'm sure she's noticed I've been wearing my jacket a lot more and with the heating at work that's not easy.

My social anxiety means talking to her about it probably won't happen, I think I'd like to but I can't and it's stressing me out wondering what she's thinking of me now. I had an anxiety attack out of the blue today and felt like throwing up. If she has noticed maybe other people will but the obvious cuts have nearly healed so I'm nearly there. I've made new ones but they can't be seen easily although I need to be able to see the cuts easily to satisfy the urge so I don't know what to do.


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## HanSolo

I saw a really pretty girl in a porno last night who had a bunch of scars on her arms from cuts

In person out and about I don't think I've ever noticed anyone else. Soon they'll just see my big muscles ha ha ha


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## Greensong

DaydreamBeliever10 said:


> My social anxiety means talking to her about it probably won't happen, I think I'd like to but I can't and it's stressing me out wondering what she's thinking of me now. I had an anxiety attack out of the blue today and felt like throwing up. If she has noticed maybe other people will but the obvious cuts have nearly healed so I'm nearly there. I've made new ones but they can't be seen easily although I need to be able to see the cuts easily to satisfy the urge so I don't know what to do.


Don't worry about your coworker. Back when I was in the corporate world a woman would stare at my arms whenever I was around her. I had just gotten to the point where I was comfortable wearing short sleeve shirts which show my upper arms. I was always so afraid she'd put me in the spot.
Now that I'm out of that environment I realize that I had nothing to worry about.
If anyone asks or points out your scars, just simply say its none of their business making sure you look them right in the eye as a challenge.
Good luck.


----------



## DaydreamBeliever10

Greensong said:


> Don't worry about your coworker. Back when I was in the corporate world a woman would stare at my arms whenever I was around her. I had just gotten to the point where I was comfortable wearing short sleeve shirts which show my upper arms. I was always so afraid she'd put me in the spot.
> Now that I'm out of that environment I realize that I had nothing to worry about.
> If anyone asks or points out your scars, just simply say its none of their business making sure you look them right in the eye as a challenge.
> Good luck.


Thank you for your reply  I just always thought I would take this secret about me to the grave. It shocked me that even though I thought I was doing a good job to hide my arms that day, she was more observant than I gave her credit for. It will be hard enough telling people it's none of their business let alone looking them in the eye. But if it ever happens again I'll try.
I find myself hiding accidental cuts and scratches thinking she will just think I did them to myself.


----------



## hammerfast

who the heck are the puritans ? care to explain dude?


----------



## dontwaitupforme

Instead of inflicting that anger on yourself, reflect it on to something else. Be it an object, project, exercise or sticking a pillow over your head and screaming.


----------



## hammerfast

I think i'll explain , Samaritans as said by the OP , are a bunch of jews who are apparently dissed by the rest of the jewish community , so whoever is into Judaism is taught to think that the Samaritans are outlaws ; hoped that I explained well ;D


----------



## Guinavere

Thanks, I wish I would have found this years ago. I have learned to do something constructive when I have the urge.( paint, draw,sculpt) Or When that doesn't work having old china sets to explode on the driveway really helps. Thanks for the contract. I Will be using it, even though I haven't done anything in a few years ( with the constant help of my husband) I still get the urge when emotionally distraught.


----------



## HanSolo

Greensong said:


> Don't worry about your coworker. Back when I was in the corporate world a woman would stare at my arms whenever I was around her. I had just gotten to the point where I was comfortable wearing short sleeve shirts which show my upper arms. I was always so afraid she'd put me in the spot.
> Now that I'm out of that environment I realize that I had nothing to worry about.
> If anyone asks or points out your scars, just simply say its none of their business making sure you look them right in the eye as a challenge.
> Good luck.


once I was thinking of saying my mom used to do as punishment when I was young


----------



## jennywren123

I'm actually so thankful for this post as it's given me a few new things to try. I'm a burner rather than a cutter but somehow have always managed to get away with it, a few times people have questioned but I usually have them bandaged, the one time someone I really look up to saw me for the first time after 3 years my heart stopped when they noticed them and were so concerned I never told them the truth. 

I'm going to try a few things from here mainly ones that get me away from my house where there are too many temptations to do damage to myself.

Someone mentioned running, I never thought to do that to be honest but it makes good sense as I can just run the mood off.


----------



## jennywren123

I wish I could edit posts on here, I'm so quick to post without spell/grammar checking and when I look back I cringe at my posts grammar.


----------



## inerameia

I've only cut myself a few times and burnt myself once. It was a time of great distress and I felt I was losing control of myself. I loathed myself more than anything. Now I've recovered a bit and have no more urges. I have had urges but they were weak. I guess the intense sadness was replaced by an abysmal void.


----------



## mairedelune

R91 said:


> *Do you still want to hurt yourself? *
> 
> So you've tried everything above, or at least most of it. You've made a contract with yourself, you've slept it off but these feelings are still there and they are very distressing to you. You've called the Samaritans, you've called a friend, but there is still a massive craving in the back of your mind. It feels like self-harm is the only option, at the moment. I understand how this feels and you must be in a really bad place right now, and I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. I'd like you to consider 4 things right now.
> 
> 1) Why do you need to hurt yourself? What has made you want to do this?
> 
> 2) Have you been in this situation before? What did you do to deal with it then? How did you feel about it then?
> 
> 3) What are the things you have done that have helped you to ease the discomfort? What coping mechanisms have you tried? Can you try any more? What else can you do that won't hurt you?
> 
> 4) Will you regret this decision later on? How will you feel about it tomorrow? Do you still really WANT to do it?
> 
> *If you do self harm (which I hope you don't)&#8230; *
> 
> _Warning - this might be triggering for some people. _
> 
> If you have self-harmed, I want you to take care of yourself afterwards. I hope that you have used something that is safe- hopefully something that has been disinfected. I'm going to list very basic things you should do if your method of self-harm is cutting.
> 
> 1) Stop the bleeding. Apply pressure (with a tissue or a cloth) to the cuts to slow it down. Keep holding it there until the bleeding has stopped completely.
> 
> 2) Run your wounds under warm water. Do not use soap or any other products. Putting your wounds under warm water is going to hurt, by the way.
> 
> 3) Dry up your wounds and let it air for a little while, applying pressure if the bleeding starts up again.
> 
> 4) Bandage your wounds snugly.
> 
> 5) The next day, take off the bandages and rinse it again in warm water. Still, do not use product or soap on it. Just warm water.
> 
> 6) Air dry it, and then bandage it again.
> 
> 7) Once you see it starting to heal slightly, you can use antiseptic cream to ward off any infection. I just use normal moisturiser, but that's your call. Keep it bandaged, and if you don't want it to scar then keep it out of the sunlight. Let it heal.
> 
> As a general rule - do not put anything on an open wound that you would not put on your eyeball.
> 
> *And finally&#8230;*
> 
> Do not keep whatever instrument you have used within easy reach. Either throw it away now, or if you feel like you aren't ready for that yet, then hide it in a really inconvenient place. Put it on top of a really high cupboard or on a shelf that you can't reach without a chair, or something. This will work very well in conjunction with urge surfing. You need to create some space between the urge to self-harm and the act of self-harming. One CAN exist without the other, even if in the moment it seems like it can't.
> 
> Take care of yourself. You are worth fighting for.
> 
> *Some links *
> 
> Here is a little reminder of what you deserve.
> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f34/your-personal-bill-of-rights-164630/
> 
> And if you need a distraction, check out Desiderata by Max Ehrmann.
> http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f34/desiderata-by-max-ehrmann-164629/
> 
> The link below is primarily for suicidal feelings but you can also use it for self-harm.
> http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
> 
> As mentioned below, the Samaritans email is,
> [email protected]
> 
> You can also Google "Samaritans in..." and wherever you live. There will be a phone number.
> 
> And lastly, live 24-hour chat with trained volunteers (primarily for suicidal feelings but you can also use it for self-harm)
> http://www.newhopenow.org/counseling/liveperson.html
> They stress the fact that they are all Christian on there quite a lot. If you are not religious, please don't let that turn you off. I'm not religious but I occasionally use them, and they are totally fine with that. They have worked for me before and they are very direct (in a gentle way) and supportive. They are incredibly useful when you are feeling completely alone and need to connect with another human being. Sometimes it just helps to know that someone out there is reading your thoughts and responding to them with care.


Great post. I have been sober of self harm for almost 2 years now


----------



## cfav66

This posting is very helpful.
Until recently I hadn't even thought of self hurt as something that i would do...again. It got really bad yesterday and I felt like i couldn't take it anymore. The idea of it was tempting and even more so that i got a knife as a gift on that same day. It was like a sign. Being a new user I thought i'd come back to SAS today to see if maybe id find some support of some kind. Sure enough. This definitely has helped me keep away from self hurting. Reading all the suggestions and contracts and ideas.
Thank to all!


----------



## jhwelch

Monroee said:


> I think those were some great posts. Thank you for writing those out for people. I had suffered with bad cutting for around 3 years. One day, during a hospital stay, I finally was fed up with being out of control with it and made the decision to try everything in my power to stop. I had a few slip-ups along the way, but I have it under control now. Even more than that - I have no urges whatsoever. I'm very proud of myself for fighting it. I feel very much for everyone who is currently struggling with self-harm, and I hope that you can find the strength to fight it and use the methods described here.
> 
> For me personally, I used red marker on my arms and just went to town with it. I also painted with red paint whenever I felt myself getting lost. It grounded me and made me pay attention to whatever it was I was painting. And it also satisfied my mind's need to see red. The red marker and red paint kinda did a "fake-out" to my mind, giving it that colour soothed me a bit.
> 
> My current coping mechanism, for whatever overwhelming emotion I have, is music. And I don't mean calmly listening to it. I mean, when I'm home, I turn it up loud, I stomp around the room if I need to and I just sing my heart out. I just let it all out as much as I can. If I focus on the music, I can get that energy out instead of it turning self-destructive.
> 
> Everyone is gonna have their own unique way of fighting it. Nobody give up if one thing doesn't help, there are so many techniques and ways to help.


Thank you so much that is a brilliant idea! I've been fighting self-harm urges for over a year, and this is truly going to help me. And thank you to everyone else who posted strategies on this thread! I'm going to be stronger this time, I know it. :thanks :squeeze


----------



## guppy88

I still don't understand why it is bad to cut or burn yourself if you're not crippling yourself. i can comeback from a cut or burning myself with a liter. People may not like it, but I for one like the pain. It's what I live for anymore.


----------



## CatTheMinion

i like the fine point sharpie because it tingles like a sharp object. not always happy to have it on my arm for a few days though. 
have to say though, my last cut was with a broken wineglass and it was a lot deeper than my other four. the scar is highly noticeable, maybe because it's not that old, but i look at it and it makes me sad, not quite ashamed, but just sad, and i don't want to do it again.


----------



## TigerLoverz

Thank you so much. <3


----------



## minimized

There is no coping. It all comes back eventually.


----------



## ChemicalKilljoy

This is really good advice!! I wish I had seen this when I needed it the most. I'm now so much better but I always find that if you get the relapse feeling, get a liquid eyeliner pen and draw cute tatoos on where you would cut.

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


----------



## ChemicalKilljoy

I really hope you are alright now

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


----------



## godhelpme2

Lacking Serotonin said:


> I was having a really bad day a few weeks ago and called the mental hospital crisis team and they came to my apt. with at least 10 cops when I told them I just needed to talk.


Oh dear god, that reminds me of some awful times >.<


----------



## The Exodus

Yeah, this is really good. I haven't really ever entirely considered self harm, but I really appreciate your post, and I feel like it may help me through my general depression phases. 

Thanks.


----------



## SvanThorXx

These. I love the way they burn my lungs. I smoke a pack a day, I'll admit it's an awful habit but it's better than actually hurting myself I guess.


----------



## SunshineSam218

*Triggering Warning:* I know this is triggering but I get lots of suicidal thoughts, I don't try to do anything but sometimes I feel like I'd be better off dead sometimes. I've only self harmed once in my entire life and I don't think I'd ever do it again but sometimes I feel like I'm close to self harming sometimes. It's the loneliness that gets to me the most I think. That and my low self esteem, I hate feeling worthless and sorry for myself so much.


----------



## Gamaur

Daydreamer_Sam said:


> *Triggering Warning:* I know this is triggering but I get lots of suicidal thoughts, I don't try to do anything but sometimes I feel like I'd be better off dead sometimes. I've only self harmed once in my entire life and I don't think I'd ever do it again but sometimes I feel like I'm close to self harming sometimes. It's the loneliness that gets to me the most I think. That and my low self esteem, I hate feeling worthless and sorry for myself so much.


:squeeze

You're not alone.

Are you seeking help?


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## deeeanabanana

Write or call the samaritans, of course. Like in those moments of rage and frustration I would have the delicacy to look around for my phone and just dial whatever number it is. I'd be at the first digit and the phone smashed to pieces against the wall. Some of those suggestions are not very practical if you've been there really. These are emotions that suck you up whole in two seconds, you don't think, you just need an effective outlet to let it ooze out and getting physical is what numbs it inside. I've tried chilli pepper and it doesn't work on the long run, you become used to the spice and you don't feel it anymore.


----------



## SunshineSam218

Gamaur said:


> :squeeze
> 
> You're not alone.
> 
> Are you seeking help?


Yeah I'm seeing a therapist this Wednesday about all the thoughts that I'm having. I'm tired of feeling lonely all the time, I just wish I had people to talk too, but anyone they add me on Skype or anything they end up ignoring me in the end and I always end up blaming myself.... hopefully the therapist will sort these thoughts out that I have.


----------



## Gamaur

Daydreamer_Sam said:


> Yeah I'm seeing a therapist this Wednesday about all the thoughts that I'm having. I'm tired of feeling lonely all the time, I just wish I had people to talk too, but anyone they add me on Skype or anything they end up ignoring me in the end and I always end up blaming myself.... hopefully the therapist will sort these thoughts out that I have.


Thanks for the friend request.  Please feel free to PM me about anything and everything, I will do my very best to support you. It generally takes me about 24-48 hours to reply.

*You are not alone. *


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## laysiaj

^ You're really awesome.


----------



## scooby

I should probably move the things in my room that can cause harm when I'm not in the best mindset. But I'm too lazy. I have a knife in my desk drawer and a coil of rope under my bed for ****s sake. Silly of me. Eh, whatever.


----------



## SunshineSam218

Gamaur said:


> Thanks for the friend request.  Please feel free to PM me about anything and everything, I will do my very best to support you. It generally takes me about 24-48 hours to reply.
> 
> *You are not alone. *


Thank you!


----------



## SamLucille

i also find medication does help if there is that instant desire that overcomes you to self harm or do something drastic


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## scooby

I've been slowly falling back into self-harm/suicidal thoughts after being out of the game for a few months. So I'll have to dust off some coping mechanisms tonight. My go to one is always just lying in bed, headphones on, blasting some music so loud that I can't hear my own thoughts. Just trying to focus on all different sounds. I prefer using music that sorta matches my mood. Happier songs feel phony to me. Like I'm lying to myself.


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## Saphiric

I was in a very dark place just these last couple of days and found myself unable to keep from harming myself. I did know about the Samaritans thing and was writing them both days while I was down, which kept me from doing worse... but I now have this bookmarked! This is amazing!!!


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## zomgz

Last night I ran through the list of coping mechanisms and tried a bunch of them. I tried urge surfing, calling the Samaritans (couldn't get a hold of them), waiting 20 minutes, and finally just fell asleep.

But I woke up just now and I still want to cut, even worse than last night. I don't know what else to do.  I don't want to call my therapist because I think she might call the police on me. I'm shaking really badly and 'tic'ing from my tourettes. The need to cut is so strong and so powerful it's unbelievable.


----------



## Emma2040

I don't know if exercise was mentioned, if it was sorry for the repeat. I've found running is very effective.


----------



## Razin

I used to self harm until I started doing hard core drugs. Sticking a needle in your arm is like incorporating self harm with drug use. Thought I'd found the answer but that just took my life to a whole new level of hell since I was too stupid to realize that's where it'd take me in the first place, didn't think things could get much worse but man I was wrong. It's crazy how much worse life can get when you swear it can't get any worse than it is already. Swear hell exists on earth for some, for others heaven. This whole shindig is one helluva messed up trip. Can't wait till the ride is over with.


----------



## outsider22

Calling a suicide hotline has helped me.


----------



## outsider22

Calling to talk to random person has helped me. I don't know why...but talking to someone, anyone,...helps


----------



## ak0608

Hey everyone im new here, I suffer from ptsd and social anxiety disorder caused by getting cancer in my teens which I was never able to put behind me, I actually hate myself for it and caused me ro loose almost all my self esteem and think im not good enough for anything or anyone even though I had a lot of friends and girlfriends etc, eventually I started absukng drugs just to not deal or think, immpresxribed 120 2mg xanax and 120 2mg klonopin obviously I dont take near close to that many but thats nor what my point of this post is.. I was also in 2 bad car accidents and was prescribed 180 30mg oxycodone IR and at first was using it normally occasion sniffing it , but iver the past 2 years ic been injecting them, is that considered self harm b.c I cant stop im more addicted to the act of shooting and seeing the blood shoot into the syringe and its caused me sxars to the point im ashamed to wear short sleeves and summer is a nightmare for me I just wear button ups wirh a shorr sleeved shirt umder it and leave it un buttoned then roll my sleeves up below my elbows which adds ro my social anxiety but as much as I wanr to stop and I know I can its just the scars and that I can never wear short sleeves again


----------



## millenniumman75

ak0608 said:


> Hey everyone im new here, I suffer from ptsd and social anxiety disorder caused by getting cancer in my teens which I was never able to put behind me, I actually hate myself for it and caused me ro loose almost all my self esteem and think im not good enough for anything or anyone even though I had a lot of friends and girlfriends etc, eventually I started absukng drugs just to not deal or think, immpresxribed 120 2mg xanax and 120 2mg klonopin obviously I dont take near close to that many but thats nor what my point of this post is.. I was also in 2 bad car accidents and was prescribed 180 30mg oxycodone IR and at first was using it normally occasion sniffing it , but iver the past 2 years ic been injecting them, is that considered self harm b.c I cant stop im more addicted to the act of shooting and seeing the blood shoot into the syringe and its caused me sxars to the point im ashamed to wear short sleeves and summer is a nightmare for me I just wear button ups wirh a shorr sleeved shirt umder it and leave it un buttoned then roll my sleeves up below my elbows which adds ro my social anxiety but as much as I wanr to stop and I know I can its just the scars and that I can never wear short sleeves again


First of all, after reading all of that, you need to start taking the mindset that you are a survivor. Cancer is one thing, but two accidents? Come one, you are still here to tell your story.

I know there must be some survivor's guilt but that also needs to be worked on. You have been through a lot - be kinder to yourself!


----------



## Fairykins

How do you cope with visible scars from cutting? Do you cover them with clothing?
Has anyone had experience being out in public with visible scars?

Last year I promised myself I'd stop cutting, I got a tattoo on my wrist and promised myself I'd cover the scars on my arm with tattoos once I had the money to.

Until then for years now I've been wearing long sleeve tops and cardigans, even in really hot summer, because I'm not brave enough to show them. Not even my family really knows. I'm really worried people will say stuff about my scars if I show them and I don't like to look at them myself...


----------



## Shameful

Fairykins said:


> How do you cope with visible scars from cutting? Do you cover them with clothing?
> Has anyone had experience being out in public with visible scars?
> 
> Last year I promised myself I'd stop cutting, I got a tattoo on my wrist and promised myself I'd cover the scars on my arm with tattoos once I had the money to.
> 
> Until then for years now I've been wearing long sleeve tops and cardigans, even in really hot summer, because I'm not brave enough to show them. Not even my family really knows. I'm really worried people will say stuff about my scars if I show them and I don't like to look at them myself...


They really upset me too. I cover them with long sleeves and sometimes very large bracelets. They will fade with time though, if you're pale they may eventually be hard to see unless someone's really paying attention and then you can just safely go out without covering. I still see them though, I don't like having that reminder.

No one has ever mentioned my scars to me. Whether that's because they didn't see them, saw them but didn't know what they were, or knew but didn't want to have that conversation, idk. But they've never been brought up, no one has ever talked to me about it.


----------



## Fairykins

Shameful said:


> They really upset me too. I cover them with long sleeves and sometimes very large bracelets. They will fade with time though, if you're pale they may eventually be hard to see unless someone's really paying attention and then you can just safely go out without covering. I still see them though, I don't like having that reminder.
> 
> No one has ever mentioned my scars to me. Whether that's because they didn't see them, saw them but didn't know what they were, or knew but didn't want to have that conversation, idk. But they've never been brought up, no one has ever talked to me about it.


Although I'm very pale, mine tend to stand out - I'm guessing because some are a little bit deep. I've read to see it as a reminder of what I've been through and how brave I am, but I just don't see them that way or think if I could ever see it that way.

The last and only time, someone I am very close too, saw them and called me stupid. Honestly, it was a pretty heart-wrenching moment as I was at one of my lowest points. It's probably good nobody has bought it up or pointed it out, unless you are still doing it - then you'd think someone would show some concern.


----------



## Shameful

Fairykins said:


> The last and only time, someone I am very close too, saw them and called me stupid. Honestly, it was a pretty heart-wrenching moment as I was at one of my lowest points.


Ouch, that's awful. People are so ignorant. I don't always take steps to hide them, but I absolutely never do anything to draw attention to them or bring them up myself because I know that's the type of reaction I'd get. That, or something pitying, and I can't stand pity. People who haven't been there just don't get it.


----------



## Fruitcake

Depressing


----------



## anxiousanddepressed

*Self Harm*

There are some great tips in this thread, I will try and use them to help me to cope next time I get stressed.


----------



## hiraeth

This might sound odd, but I get a pair of tweezers and start plucking the hairs on my upper thighs. Its where I used to cut (so it would be hidden under clothes - didn't want the problems many of you have of hiding scars ). Surprisingly satisfying!


----------



## PandaRabies

_thank you for sharing this! I was running out of ideas for coping and relapsed a few times in the past few months after 5 years cut free. I'll make sure to come to this thread if I am able to access it when having an urge/thoughts._


----------



## Kevin001

Wow, awesome thread. Unfortunately those techniques don't work for me.


----------



## StEnds

I generally do a lot of things on that list already but snapping a rubber band on the wrist does sound physically satisfying, especially as I have PTSD. I am going to give it a try. I just want to *feel* something.


----------



## Riri11

meh... I'm just going to keep doing those things, but it's an addiction for me... an addiction where I think I might die without giving in


----------



## millenniumman75

The thing to look into is to break the habit.

If there is a tendency to want to self-injure, try getting through one situation without doing it. Takes notes on how you felt. If necessary, replace the action with something that is healthier, like going outside with your headphones and walking.....get out in public where the temptation would not be present.

The key is to "feel the burn" of wanting to self-injure, but not doing it to see how you are able to get through it. Use thought techniques to help.

"I am better than this. I may not feel good now, but I will feel better in ten minutes."


----------



## sethg1981

none of the links work.....


----------



## meandernorth

sethg1981 said:


> none of the links work.....


The original post was made a few years ago so the links probably became obsolete over time. If I see any others, I'll pass them along.


----------



## mcmuffinme

I take too many benzos, and cut my wrist with a razor. I try to do it minimally, especially during summer. Unfortunately, it's goddamn July, and I got a little carried away.

I'm also restricting my calories, and I'm at an underweight BMI at the moment. There's a lot going on in my life emotionally, and I'm very fearful, and I noticed I was having trouble controlling my food intake, which I normally monitor more- so I decided to go strict for five days. It's not healthy, but it makes me feel like I can handle my emotions, or something. 

Now I have to put a ton of foundation on my wrist for a presentation tomorrow, because if I keep wearing an arm band around my wrist at work people will start talking....oy.


----------



## Strange Infatuation

I also harmed myself when I was feeling really depressed and helpless. I still have some scars. 
Cutting made me feel better, but I haven,t done that for some months, even though I am depressed and I'm so alone.


----------



## klavak91

I gotta say, as much as this is a wonderful list of things to do to help, I find myself focused mainly on the "eat a chili pepper" suggestion of the Disconnected list. You can't feel like crap if your mouth is flaring up haha. Seriously though, I love this full list, and I'll have to try some of the suggestions!


----------



## Asho2345

This post is absolutely fantastic! was actually feeling pretty crappy and wanted to cut. this stopped that. and just reading it made me smile??? is that weird? i feel like its weird?


----------



## Merci86

I could never give up SI; I need it to survive. I don't think it's a huge deal if you have control over it and never cut deep; I've been doing it for over a decade. I'm not saying it's a good thing, it's just something I have to do, and I couldn't give it up even if I tried. Anyone else who is not interested in recovery?


----------



## Kevin001

Merci86 said:


> I could never give up SI; I need it to survive. I don't think it's a huge deal if you have control over it and never cut deep; I've been doing it for over a decade. I'm not saying it's a good thing, it's just something I have to do, and I couldn't give it up even if I tried. Anyone else who is not interested in recovery?


I was so the same way. But I "snapped" out of it. Yeah it was surface stuff (even though I have scars) and I was always consistent but it was still awful for me to do that. Having to cover up, being judged by the people that do see it (especially now), etc. I so understand but looking back I'm like I could of done something else. I'm about 3 months clean . Its so not worth it.


----------



## Joohjuuh94

I have to say I'm glad I never got into cutting. Punching your knuckles bloody and and blue ain't smart either but atleast it didn't leave scars lol


----------



## Tetrapod

Merci86 said:


> I could never give up SI; I need it to survive. I don't think it's a huge deal if you have control over it and never cut deep; I've been doing it for over a decade. I'm not saying it's a good thing, it's just something I have to do, and I couldn't give it up even if I tried. Anyone else who is not interested in recovery?


I feel the same, and am in the same position, having been relying on it for 15 years or so. I would only want to stop doing it if the issues that cause me to do it went away first. It's like worrying about splashing the water while you're drowning.

I wish I could take more comfort from the strategies people suggest to avoid doing it. The truth is I can't settle for safe alternatives, or tricks to distract myself from the urge, I _have_ to hurt myself.


----------



## Merci86

^I'm glad that there are some other people who share my opinion as well  Thanks for the responses


----------



## Overdrive

Merci86 said:


> I don't think it's a huge deal if you have control over it and never cut deep


Yeah right


----------



## Merci86

^well i've been doing it for 16 years now without any infections or stitches


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## ShotInTheDark

For some past time I often find choking myself as at least a little bit helping...


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## SwtSurrender

ShotInTheDark said:


> For some past time I often find choking myself as at least a little bit helping...


Chocking is commonly used in sexual intercourse. It's a pleasure. Ow!


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## ShotInTheDark

SwtSurrender said:


> Chocking is commonly used in sexual intercourse. It's a pleasure. Ow!


And now I have even more weird ideas and crazy things going on my mind...


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## Animals Help

The problem for me is I can't use most of these, physically activity would work, if it weren't for my severe asthma and allergies. And when my breathing is restricted, I panic and gradually I start breathing harder. If I'm in any sort of panicking state, I will start peeling skin out from under my nails, picking at acne which later form into large scabs from continuous over picking. Everything I've tried hasn't stopped me from picking. 
I can't distract myself because at times, I'm picking and don't even realize it. When I do realize, It's always halfway through removing a piece of skin and I can't stop then because the skin will just be hanging there and I will always go back to picking, even worse this time, because I can't stand having loose scabs/skin. I've tried calming or upbeat music, but I continue to pick as I'm listening. I can't call someone because my anxiety is worse talking to people on the phone. If I had a pet, I could cuddle them and instantly feel better, but I'm allergic, and my place doesn't allow pets. I can't let out my anger because I will feel guilty if I damage literally anything, and I'm scared that if I scream, nothing will come out. I can't just avoid my triggers because it seems my triggers are any and every single negative emotion and feeling that I feel. I can't just remove myself from the situation that causes this because I'm not in control of most situations. It doesn't matter how much I want to stop or how much I regret it later, it's like the pain is a drug and I'm an addict. I've tried using rubber bands and slapping them on my wrist but it didn't feel the same. It didn't feel "right".

I seriously don't know what to do, my face, arms, chest and back are all covered in open sores and scars, that are all over my legs as well. I have tough skin under my nails and near the tips of my fingers which make me want to pick them even more, and God forbid I notice/feel a loose scab there is a 0% chance it'll still be there within the next 20 seconds along with alot of extra skin around the wound. 
I've even tried medication to lower my obsessiveness but it was useless.

If anyone has any more suggestions of things I could try, I'd be very thankful.


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## scooby

I've got a bunch of sensory toys I leave around the house/my car I fiddle with. I was given some techniques today by my psychologist, because I've fallen into some self-harm issues again recently. Apps on phone that have various coping methods, ice/heat pack holding, stuff like that, removing harmful objects from my immediate vicinity.


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## Animals Help

I wish it were that easy for me, but my weapons of choice are my own fingers, and I can't really remove them from my vicinity that easily...



scooby said:


> removing harmful objects from my immediate vicinity.


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## scooby

Animals Help said:


> I wish it were that easy for me, but my weapons of choice are my own fingers, and I can't really remove them from my vicinity that easily...


I don't know how to help you.


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## scooby

Accurate quote.

*Trigger warning: gif of utensils. 
*


* *


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## The Linux Guy

A moderator pointed me to this post. I've never tried self harm. Doing something physical to myself never made any sense to me. I'm already hurting emotionally, why do I want to hurt physically too? :stu

I think drinking alcohol or smoking something is also a type of "self harm". Because a lot of people do those things to escape the emotional pain.


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## Persephone The Dread

I really struggle with this I don't physically self harm but I'm emotionally self harming all the time. Sometimes listening to negativistic but ironic music until I get out of a certain mood can help. This is the best band for that and most bands don't get the balance right at all I'd argue they're probably the only people who get it perfect to make it work most music internalises or externalises too much so they don't pull off the right amount of nihilism:




































I guess it's kind of absurdism?

They have a live dvd that's uploaded on YouTube which is pretty good, but can't post it cause of some stuff that happens lol. It's called Our Pain Your Gain I think.

Sometimes I listen to them and think 'this isn't going to work I'm in such a **** mood' and it does. And at some point it will stop working and there is no other band that does this so that's not great.


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