# Does your SA make you more compassionate towards other people?



## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

not just other people with anxiety but people in general. Are you more willing to overlook other people's shortcomings and forgive mistakes because of the hand that you yourself have been dealt in life?

Voting is anonymous.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

I have more understanding for people with any sort of mental disorders- especially ones that a lot of people "can't see" and are quick to dismiss such as SA and anxiety/depression.


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## JustThisGuy (Mar 24, 2012)

Yes, though in a certain way. My empathy has always led me. To a fault at times.


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

Darktower776 said:


> I have more understanding for people with any sort of mental disorders- especially ones that a lot of people "can't see" and are quick to dismiss such as SA and anxiety/depression.


what about things other than mental illness? personality weaknesses, flaws, disabilities, addictions, etc.


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## theperson (Jun 23, 2015)

I'm often at the foot of "I do/don't like the way [this action] makes me feel so because of this I will/am not going to do this to another person-which is a normal human action, right? Still, my SA does play a part in it-it makes me more aware of what people might be thinking. Seriously though, I'm always over-thinking whether I'm being sympathetic/empathic enough. Essentially, my SA doesn't control my sense of compassion, it does influence the way I act in front of people to show how compassionate or sympathetic or empathetic I can be. I hope that made sense.


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## gopherinferno (Apr 7, 2009)

Not when I was younger, but as I've gotten older and learned how deeply complex most people's issues can be, I've figured out how to have a lot more understanding for the way people act. So even if they hurt me or make me mad, I can still cut them slack most of the time. It's crazy stressful to hate people, anyway. I can still hate with the fiery passion of a million suns when it's justified, but most of the time unless someone is literally stabbing me in the buttcheeks with a steak knife, we're cool.


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## iCod (Feb 17, 2015)

Nah. My SA has caused me to gain some sort of horrible hate towards normies. I'm a stone cold hateful mother****er....


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## Amorphousanomaly (Jun 20, 2012)

LESS.
I hate mostly everybody.


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## ScorchedEarth (Jul 12, 2014)

Not compassionate, but respectful of boundaries and careful not to inflict the same type of psychological harm I've suffered. All in all, I'm very withdrawn and stilted, though I suppose that could be taken as rudeness. Anyway, I'm starting to believe none of us have any kind of free will, so the concept of blame is gradually being phased out.


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

^yea that last part was kind of what i was trying to get at, without turning it into a whole thing about responsibility.

i just thought SA might make us more sympathetic towards other people's life circumstances and such. because all suffering is suffering, blah blah.

also from these responses some of ya'll need hugs.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

So... when am I getting the cake?


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

probably offline said:


> So... when am I getting the cake?


sorry, i gave your share to breast man :/


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## Imbored21 (Jun 18, 2012)

Yes. I use to laugh at homeless people. Now I realize that I could easily be one of them.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

bad baby said:


> sorry, i gave your share to breast man :/












THAT MOTHER****ING *******


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## typemismatch (May 30, 2012)

Faaaar faaaar faaaar faaaar, faar faaaar faar.


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## Phoenix08 (Jun 21, 2015)

To some degree I feel more compassionate. But it is mostly towards people with mental illnesses and such. I feel like I can understand their struggle.


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## Darktower776 (Aug 16, 2013)

bad baby said:


> what about things other than mental illness? personality weaknesses, flaws, disabilities, addictions, etc.


Yes, I'm a pretty understanding person in general- that's just my personality- so I'm not sure if my having SA affected that a whole lot. I feel compassion for anyone that struggles with mental and/or physical problems.


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

^ohhai. i was beginning to wonder if you were ever coming back to this thread, lol.



Imbored21 said:


> Yes. I use to laugh at homeless people. Now I realize that I could easily be one of them.


...i feel like this would be a great line for a t-shirt or a bumper sticker or something



probably offline said:


> THAT MOTHER****ING *******


i can totally picture him saying this:


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## Mxx1 (Feb 3, 2015)

Yes, i'm pretty sure. 
When i used to have more confident i didn't know anything about mentall ilnesses and i didn't understand much the problems people go through, i mostly focused on my own difficulties. Now i feel very bad when i hear people go through awful things and i try to give advice, though it's often i don't know what to say.


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## sprawl (Apr 20, 2014)

Oooh, I didn't know embittered was a word, need to change my about me's on various websites now . But yeah, it's definitely skewed the way I view people, with all the extra bitterness and jealousy I now have. I also tend to ignore/avoid people to avoid even the chance of rejection. It's really messed up, I need to be more kind and what not. But whenever I try to be nice I feel so fake and weird :?


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

bad baby said:


> i can totally picture him saying this:


:lol It's also rumored that he can *make* nipples explode with delight. He isn't called breastman for nothing. Years of breastspotting has made him an expert on breasts and nipples, of all shapes, colors and sizes.


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## TabbyTab (Oct 27, 2013)

Yeah definitely. But not just sa mental health issues in general. I use to be soooo judgmental of people who self harmed or were depressed and when you experience those feelings of your own it shapes your views so much.

But yeah I'd say sa has made me more of a softy in a way. For example when I see peeps at school who are alone or look lonley I try to show some sort of acknowledgement or something.


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## legallyalone (Jan 24, 2014)

I think it makes me quicker to jump to conclusions and make assumptions about people.


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## farfegnugen (Aug 16, 2010)

I don't know. I often think people are *******s, but I go out of my way to help individuals quite frequently. My nipples are tingling for some reason after reading this thread.


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## Strategist (May 20, 2008)

SA has made me feel like it is me vs the world since I'm not really a part of a community. So I care less about people, though I feel guilty about it.


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## Surly Wurly (May 9, 2015)

probably offline said:


> :lol It's also rumored that he can *make* nipples explode with delight. He isn't called breastman for nothing. Years of breastspotting has made him an expert on breasts and nipples, of all shapes, colors and sizes.


i actually met him in a bird sanctuary once, in the blue tit enclosure. i got him to explain how we got from the distinctively ski-sloped, parabolic tits of the 70s, to the ubiquitous hemispherical ta-tas of the present day. his explanation seemed incredibly lucid yet obvious at the time but when i try to remember it now it just seems like a load of unrelated fragments, like that dream where you discover the meaning of life but you can't quite hold on to it. its as if somehow i was finally able to fully grasp tits but they have somehow slipped through my fingers. anyway whats done is done, no point crying over spilt milk

edit - this thread is about compassion lol


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

TabbyTab said:


> But yeah I'd say sa has made me more of a softy in a way. For example when I see peeps at school who are alone or look lonley I try to show some sort of acknowledgement or something.


i know what you mean. i feel a strange kind of kinship whenever i see a shy quiet person. even though most of them probably don't have a case extreme enough to qualify as SA.¯\_(ツ)_/¯



farfegnugen said:


> I don't know. I often think people are *******s, but I go out of my way to help individuals quite frequently. *My nipples are tingling for some reason after reading this thread.*


it's probably a sign of exploding nipple syndrome.

SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY.


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## slyfox (Nov 18, 2007)

It has, unless it is the other way around and being too nice to people has caused my sa. I know I don't like people making fun of someone for being different. Occasionally, I have memories come back and am still haunted by the ways I've wronged others, even in the distant past.

Because of bad experiences with people I tend to treat people who act certain ways or of certain age groups as guilty until proven innocent though. Even fellow members of SAS I would worry were judging me if we met in person.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

Surly Wurly said:


> i actually met him in a bird sanctuary once, in the blue tit enclosure. i got him to explain how we got from the distinctively ski-sloped, parabolic tits of the 70s, to the ubiquitous hemispherical ta-tas of the present day. his explanation seemed incredibly lucid yet obvious at the time but when i try to remember it now it just seems like a load of unrelated fragments, like that dream where you discover the meaning of life but you can't quite hold on to it. its as if somehow i was finally able to fully grasp tits but they have somehow slipped through my fingers. anyway whats done is done, no point crying over spilt milk
> 
> edit - this thread is about compassion lol


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

Peoples shortcomings are only so in the normal sense of being able to gain status power and money that in itself can be a major shortcoming


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## Surly Wurly (May 9, 2015)

probably offline said:


>


hi. i've noticed you around. i see you have game.

thanks for the areolas


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## visualkeirockstar (Aug 5, 2012)

No. Can't stand people.


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## twitchy666 (Apr 21, 2013)

*I've suffered*

~kicked in the face~
too many times
by phone
sneering
"you're no good, ..."
chortling, clinking glasses, upper classy, primary school mode still locked
51% seen on TV, 49% for real

next clink I want to be an explosion of shards & blood

I started in life with a public school background. The wrongdoing was never by scum paupers. It was all done by posh, from all kinds of angles. It's made me angry


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

blue2 said:


> Peoples shortcomings are only so in the normal sense of being able to gain status power and money that in itself can be a major shortcoming


huh? are you trying to say that wanting to gain power and money is a shortcoming? i'm confused. explain please!!


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## StaceyLaine14 (Apr 11, 2015)

Abso-lutely-not. I spent so much time trying to figure out why people don't like me and how to become someone more likable. What it comes down to is that people are in search of ways I can help them, but my needs don't really matter. Once they're done with me, I can be dropped without any concern for my feelings whatsoever or be stuck in a situation where I'm just kept around in case someone has se other need they may need me to fulfill. That's just basically why people form relationships. They have gaps in their lives that someone else is needed to fill. I do it too. Even people who seem benevolent are most likely just acting so to validate their value as a human being or to avoid feeling guilty--not because they actually care about others. Bitter and jaded and I kind of hate humans at this point, but still feel a deeply human need to connect with them. Want to just get over it, but can't, so I keep setting myself up to get hurt instead.


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## SD92 (Nov 9, 2013)

Not really. I wouldn't say I'm any more compassionate than the average person.


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## To22 (Apr 6, 2012)

No. I'm compassionate because I'm compassionate, assuming that I am. SA, at best, helps me understand what it's like to have a mental disorder. I might better relate, but my sympathy never required that I relate. All my sympathy requires is the awareness of another's pain. At no point has anyone needed to earn my sympathy; I can't remember a time I ever undermined a person's hardships because I was convinced they were simply too weak....


Meh. Then again...

I often see myself in people that end up getting demonized, disliked, humiliated, etc. Don't know why.


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## Memories of Silence (May 15, 2015)

I think it has helped me to imagine what it might be like to have problems I don't have so that I can understand them better, and feel bad for the people who have those problems, but I don't think it makes me a nicer person, only a more understanding one.


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

StaceyLaine14 said:


> Abso-lutely-not. I spent so much time trying to figure out why people don't like me and how to become someone more likable. What it comes down to is that people are in search of ways I can help them, but my needs don't really matter. Once they're done with me, I can be dropped without any concern for my feelings whatsoever or be stuck in a situation where I'm just kept around in case someone has se other need they may need me to fulfill. That's just basically why people form relationships. They have gaps in their lives that someone else is needed to fill. I do it too. Even people who seem benevolent are most likely just acting so to validate their value as a human being or to avoid feeling guilty--not because they actually care about others. Bitter and jaded and I kind of hate humans at this point, but still feel a deeply human need to connect with them. Want to just get over it, but can't, so I keep setting myself up to get hurt instead.


i feel like a lot of us with SA feel this way.

well, idk if people form relationships to fill some kind of gap in their lives. but everyone needs it so why question it. it's like trying to explain the meaning of life or something. you do it just because. people don't give away their care and love for free. they have to get to know you first. i think that's fair. i mean if i had to care about every random person i ever met i'd be drained.

.. i wonder if there is any truth to the idea that we attract certain types of people (e.g., users, etc). like, our insecurities cause us to subconsciously gravitate towards people who treat us carelessly because it validates how we see ourselves.



To22 said:


> I often see myself in people that end up getting demonized, disliked, humiliated, etc. Don't know why.


me too. :/


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## Cletis (Oct 10, 2011)

Probably makes me more bitter.

I think that stems from envy of others who can socialize so easily and don't suffer from anxiety or depression. My mother is like this. I wish I got her good genes instead of my dad's lousy genes.


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## aaaa1111bbbb2222cccc3333 (May 10, 2015)

More compassionate towards 'weak' people and losers.


Less compassionate and bitter towards the rest of the world. It irks me when successful people complain like 'i pay too much taxes' or 'OMG i feel so lonely, i've been single for THREE MONTHS ' go look somewhere else if you want compassion.


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## kesker (Mar 29, 2011)

for some reason empathy has always spoken to me. i understand it and it understands me. My parents had elements of it and I naturally latched onto those parts of them. SA is a roadblock to full expression so, while it doesn't affect the amount of compassion I have, it does sometimes tie a rope around it, which can be very demoralizing and depressing. SA wants to make me less compassionate so I have to be aware of it and fight for who I am at my core. I fall short a lot of times but I try.


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## LolaViola (Jun 23, 2013)

oh fo sho




and CAKE


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## CristianNC (Jun 24, 2012)

As someone else mentioned, I'm more compassionate towards people who really have a rough time.
I'm far from compassionate when I see people complaining about stupid everyday stuff, the type of stuff you see on social media.


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## meepie (Jun 20, 2010)

What is more compassionate? Is compassion measurable. I don't think it makes me any more compassionate than any other human being. Compassion can come from all kinds of people even murderers. One act of compassion cannot be measured to 100 acts of compassion because they all yield the same results which is kindness.


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## apx24 (Jan 31, 2012)

No, it has made me less compassionate without a doubt.


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## WillYouStopDave (Jul 14, 2013)

:lol

No. It makes me dislike most people more. It wasn't always so. There was a time when I thought the reason I didn't trust people was because I had never really given them a chance. And then I got the internet and gave them a chance and realized I was right about people all along.

:lol

Most people are really ugly deep down. Which kind of (in a twisted way) makes me feel a little less SA. I kind of know what to expect in "the real world". I know what people are really thinking. What they'd say if someone twice their size wasn't standing two feet from them. I know people are always fighting to hold back that verbal cabbage fart that would make me wish I never met them.

OTOH, it makes me feel a strangely deeper connection to people. To know we're all equally ugly on a deep level that is so deep it can never be gotten rid of. :lol


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## TryingMara (Mar 25, 2012)

I think it makes me more aware of nervousness and discomfort in others. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, because I know there may be reasons why they acted the way the did...reasons that I don't know about and can't see, which is the way it is for me a lot of the time.


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## bad baby (Jun 10, 2013)

TryingMara said:


> I think it makes me more aware of nervousness and discomfort in others. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, because I know there may be reasons why they acted the way the did...reasons that I don't know about and can't see, which is the way it is for me a lot of the time.


i identify with this 100%


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## Invisiblehandicap (Jul 31, 2011)

I don't really feel empathy. If I think something is the right thing to do and it doesn't harm myself to much , I will do it. Of course I prefer to say things that benefit me as opposed to what the other person wants to hear. Fortunately I don't consider insulting people or treating someone like trash as benefiting me as I receive no enjoyment from acting that way. I dont think SA has anything to do with my lack of empathy.


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## BackToThePast (Aug 31, 2012)

This is a pretty common question that comes up on this site, but yeah, personally I empathize and have a new appreciation for those in the underdog category. I almost get angry for people who have to endure such painful humiliation everyday.


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## truant (Jul 4, 2014)

No, my compassion makes me compassionate toward other people.

My SA prevents me from expressing compassion toward people who need it.

Unexpressed compassion is about as useful as imaginary money.


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## Dillingerr (Jun 4, 2015)

No just people like me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

More understanding of emotions in others.


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## coeur_brise (Oct 7, 2004)

I don't know if it makes me more compassionate, you can either act negatively or positively in reaction to illness, disease or negativity. Bitterness can overtake you very easily if you let it, sooo.. all in all, I'd say there's a seed of compassion. Whether or not it grows into something greater is your choice, so yeah, sometimes I root for the underdog. At times, I don't understand the perspective of (some) underdogs at all. But then who does? Some normal people do very much. 

Ermm.. maybe a related story. Back when I first suspected of suffering from SA, I saw a guy in my high school class who had really bad acne. So bad, he was started to walk with his head down and act in embarrassment when he was usually a talkative guy. And at the time I thought, "He shouldn't have to act like that because he has acne. I know exactly what it feels like to walk with my head down, afraid to enter a room and I don't even have acne." I felt really bad for him at the time. I really hope his acne didn't affect him badly enough to cripple him though, who knows. Just a moment of deep empathy when first feeling my anxiety symptoms.


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## givinganonion (Sep 15, 2014)

It allows me more understanding of emotional stuff, and I don't judge people since I've messed up a lot myself. However, because I don't have experience with a lot of things, I usually can't relate to people whose success or interpersonal connections bring them challenges like having to build or repair stuff, having to sort out time between different people, etc.


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## Kind Of (Jun 11, 2014)

Living a hard life made me more open-minded to people.

People's consistent abuse of that made me more close-minded.


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## lonerroom (May 16, 2015)

bad baby said:


> not just other people with anxiety but people in general. Are you more willing to overlook other people's shortcomings and forgive mistakes because of the hand that you yourself have been dealt in life?
> 
> Voting is anonymous.


I try to be, but 99 percent of people I ever met in my entire life have been extremely cruel to me.


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## Star241 (Jun 12, 2015)

Definitely, 100%. Especially when you see someone else that is suffering and has no real choice.


Anyone who suffers SA will know that they don't really have a choice over how they feel (at least I don't), otherwise you would surely choose to feel comfortable!


The other day there was a new volunteer who came into the staff room, and a colleague introduced him to me. He couldn't make eye contact properly, and he whispered a weak "hello", and the handshake was very limp. I smiled at him, shook his hand and as soon as I could detect his anxiety, I tried to do the kindest thing; not keep on looking at him, and try to get on with my own thing. 


I don't know how anyone can undergo seemingly endless pain, to the point where mere existence hurts, and not feel compassion when you see someone else who has the same traits. I really feel for them, personally,


All the best,


Joe


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## Freiheit (Dec 8, 2008)

Not really. I only feel compassion toward others like myself.


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