# curious question about body types and dating sites.



## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

I've been wondering about this for a bit, something that I noticed on all dating sites, and I was just curious if its an american thing. Women especially, when theyre on a thick side, they put that theyre "average" built, other ones that I consider to be average built, put "slim" in their description, and really overweight folks put "BBW" ( big/beautiful something). 
Now I've always considered myself to be average built, but oddly enough everyone tells me I'm slim, when I think of slim, I think thin and petite people like the olsen twins or nicole ritchie, and I know people who are naturally thin, not anorexic. I'm not small by any means 5'9- 148 lbs , in decent shape but I still dont see how I could fit into slim category. 

What do you guys think?


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## KimberlyK (Nov 11, 2004)

For regular people you are slim but compared to some movies stars and models you would be average. Many celebrities are skin and bones, they literally look like a walking skeleton. Look at the Desperate Housewives are any of them bigger than a size 2? I'm 5'9" 150 lbs and my husband says I'm too thin. If I was comparing myself to Elle McPherson I would be a BB but I compare myself to average people of my age.


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## long_way_home (May 10, 2006)

I kind if see what you're saying because I don't consider myself very small or anything but people usually tell me that I'm thin. I think that I am too used to the hollywood standards just like you are. I think that the Hollywood standards are crazy and probably compared to them you're not very small, but neither is anyone else..haha. 
In Hollywood, if you're a woman with average height (5'4) and you're 120 pounds than you're considered "heavy" when in real life it's the perfect healthy weight.
BTW, if these women in Hollywood (like the women in Desperate Housewives) look skinny on tv, imagine how skinny they look in real life. :um


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## noregrets (May 4, 2006)

The way I see it, more than half of the people in the US are above healthy weight, right? So the average person is in fact overweight. Therefore if you're not overweight and you want to convey this on a personals site, you have to describe yourself as "slim" rather than "average". :stu


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## Bon (Dec 24, 2005)

I think you're slim, average at best, just right! I was on a dating site eons ago, I'm 5'4 weighed 125, this guy came along, out of the blue "You look good, but are about ten pounds over-weight" my sunny personality doesn't always show, nor am I always able to control what comes out of my mouth, what a jerk! I'm not the Madison Ave. Type.

Put in your perception of who you are, that's part of your personality. I think, theres a lot of fibbing on personal sites, such as body type weight. Average women that weigh 250 pounds, that's somewhat self serving. (and, I mean no offense to anyone)


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## Paul (Sep 26, 2005)

Well you weigh 40 pounds more than me and are only an inch taller, so if that's "slim" I must be "decomposing" (though I feel pretty good considering). If I were on a dating site I'd exaggerate myself up to slim since it sounds better than decomposing, and thus the labels mean absolutely nothing since people of very different weight use the same label simply because it's the label society wants to hear. The lesson is to ignore anything people say about their weight online unless they give a number.

Going by a more sensible indicator than societal nonsense, like BMI, you're in the middle of the "normal weight" range.


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## Argo (May 1, 2005)

Equisgurl said:


> I've been wondering about this for a bit, something that I noticed on all dating sites, and I was just curious if its an american thing. Women especially, when theyre on a thick side, they put that theyre "average" built, other ones that I consider to be average built, put "slim" in their description, and really overweight folks put "BBW" ( big/beautiful something).


Dating sites are notorious for this type of lying --- or fudging, if you want to put it more charitably. Rule of thumb: women deflate their weight, men inflate their height.


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## ColdFury (Nov 6, 2003)

I usually take "body type" with a grain of salt for this reason. There's a lot of exaggeration.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

Some folks call me slim, and some call me chunky, so I have no clue what I am. I'll just put a number: 5'7'' and 140 pounds. Those words are all subjective. Numbers give a better description. An even better description is a photo.


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## GaryUranga (Apr 22, 2006)

uh oh I was warned about this, girls and weight questions *runs away*


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## GTI79 (Feb 2, 2004)

GaryUranga said:


> uh oh I was warned about this, girls and weight questions *runs away*


nah your fine as long you don't ask for an exact number. And if you do, prepared to be nutered on the spot.


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## cakesniffer (Nov 11, 2003)

I don't know what I'd call myself either. I think I could stand to lose some weight, but then people tell me I look fine. :con


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## prov (May 15, 2006)

having like five assigned "body types" is bollocks. everything is proportional


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## Inturmal (Jan 15, 2006)

What they need is some silhouettes that people can choose from. A simple body outline would tell a lot more than a single-word description.

Equisgurl, I'd say you're about average.


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## perfect neurotic (Jun 8, 2006)

I think you're slim for regular people standards ... not anorexic star ones.


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## David1976 (Nov 8, 2003)

perfect neurotic said:


> I think you're slim for regular people standards ... not anorexic star ones.


 :ditto


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Equisgurl said:


> I've been wondering about this for a bit, something that I noticed on all dating sites, and I was just curious if its an american thing. Women especially, when theyre on a thick side, they put that theyre "average" built, other ones that I consider to be average built, put "slim" in their description, and really overweight folks put "BBW" ( big/beautiful something).
> Now I've always considered myself to be average built, but oddly enough everyone tells me I'm slim, when I think of slim, I think thin and petite people like the olsen twins or nicole ritchie, and I know people who are naturally thin, not anorexic. I'm not small by any means 5'9- 148 lbs , in decent shape but I still dont see how I could fit into slim category.
> 
> What do you guys think?


You're not alone. I noticed this same thing. I thought maybe it's just my perception. Personally the only real turn off with physical attraction is a person that is out of shape. You don't have to be in amazing shape. I workout hard to maintain a close to average body shape. But at the same time I saw some young ladies on some reality show trying to become super models and they were so slim it was unattractive to me.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

One of the Olsen Twins (cannot remember which one) and Nicole have sought treatment for eating disorders, so I think they are little less than slim, and frankly I think they look terrible, like they are sick. I think its horrible the way Hollywood is trying to convince women that they should be stick-thin, live on celery and water and that anything bigger than a size 2 is huge. But that is just the way it is I guess. :stu 

I think, Equisgirl, you are at a HEALTHY weight and that is all that matters. Weight is different for everyone, some people carry their weight better than others. I am not sure where the border of slim and average are....I think they should just do away with that option, as stated previously, people will fudge the numbers anyway.

I need to gain HEIGHT to balance out my weight  , I have about 10-15 pounds that no MATTER WHAT I DO I just cannot get rid off.... but oh well, more of me to love right???


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## Melusine (Jun 19, 2004)

I really feel the pressure for this thinness thing. I'd be considered overweight (in hollywood) that's for sure. I'm by no means really big, in fact, i'm much more on the slim side, but i don't carry excess weight all that well and it makes me uncomfortable and have less confidence. And having summer coming only makes the pressure worse. I'd really like to wear less clothing, like shorts or a skirt or something so i don't die of heat exhaustion. I'm exercising like crazy at this point. I've slimmed down ALOT before, then i hit a low and stopped and gain more weight back from stopping biking and eating junk. Now i'm back and i'm not giving up on myself because i'm capable of it, and i know i can do it. Anyone can do it if they just don't quit.


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

Thanks for the input guys, I never considered myself to be overweight by american standards, but looking back at last summers pics, I was a bit on a chubby side, losing 16 lbs certainly boosted my self esteem and I feel a lot healthier now, which matters to me the most, not just how people perceive me. 
I do agree that celebs like olsen twins are just plain unhealthy, they look so frail, pale and sickly that I cant help but feel sorry for them.


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

Yes, these sites are quite deceptive, one time I was reading a post that someone did, this girl started talking to the guy online and after few weeks of getting to know each other and really clicking, they decided to meet, the guy did mention that the pic he posted was a year old and he gained few pounds. Well to her complete shock, not only was he more then few pounds overweight(more like 70), but he looked completely different ( in the profile he said he was causasian, but was actually Indian). She didnt know what to do because she really liked him as a person, but if he lied about his apperance, obviosly using a fake picture, he probably have lied about other things. 
I found the story quite amusing, .. what did he think , she wouldnt notice? :lol


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

The internet is an easy place for deception. I don't intend to bash fat or skinny people. From my experience, though, and from what I have seen through browsing, things mentioned in this thread are true. The internet personals phenomena gives us the opportunity to take the best picture of ourselves, at the best angle, ie to make a girls face seem skinnier, make a guy look sexier (ie wifebeaters, exposing tattoos in ways you wouldn't normally), and so on, to maximize our results. Call me shallow, call me super shallow, but I have my standards, because I am attracted to what I am attracted to. I like girls that are chunky and girls that are skinny. It all depends. I have been deceived by pictures once.. What do you think MySpace is all about, though? Do all of these people dress like that everyday? No, they take pictures of themselves on their cool looking day, how they want people to perceive them, and wah-lah. People should just be themselves, but I guess that's not going to happen. Even I try to take the best picture of myself. 

I also wonder why girls on MySpace, and other sites, take these really sexy pictures of themselves, especially when they claim to have a boyfriend. ??? Do they just like showing off their body, their tattoos, or whatever? I don't get it. 

Equisgirl, all I can say is that you are very beautiful and you don't have to worry about anything. Forget about your "body type"


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

Heh.. yes, I always found it funny when guys try to show off their bodies even when they obviosly lack the six pack, most of the time I find it rather repulsive, especially when its accompanied by a typical description of themselves " Hi, i'm john, i like to party, drink and hot girlz.. did I mention party, holla back at yo boy" ...
omg.. can you say retarded.. ? :roll 

ugh.. not happy with todays youth at all :sigh .. heh, I sounds like my grandma.. oh goody. It would be nice to meet someone with an IQ higher than that of a chipmunk... I give up on humanity -_-

thanks Chuck, youre a sweetheart


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## orpheus (Nov 16, 2003)

I'm 5"11 175lbs but i get "skinny" from my family a lot. i had an aol profile five years ago and i think i put "average" (i've always been about the same weight). 


i also notice people tend to put up their best glam photos. i've never met someone from these sites, but i would bet that in person there are obvious differences.


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## orpheus (Nov 16, 2003)

BeNice said:


> I also wonder why girls on MySpace, and other sites, take these really sexy pictures of themselves, especially when they claim to have a boyfriend. ??? Do they just like showing off their body, their tattoos, or whatever? I don't get it.


because these women are probably attention whores or just advertising in the hopes that they'll find something better than what they have.


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

Equisgurl said:


> I'm not small by any means 5'9- 148 lbs , in decent shape but I still dont see how I could fit into slim category.


Being relatively tall for a woman certainly doesn't toss you out of the slim category. Super models tend to be around 5'11" and they look like nobody ever feeds them. It's hard to say if you're "slim". You're kind of on the border. 148 for a taller woman like yourself is perfectly normal -- you're certainly not overweight -- but are you thin enough to be "slim"? I don't know. As Americans keep getting fatter on average the meaning of slim keeps changing. Does "slim" mean really slim or does it just mean not as fat as the average?

I really don't think you should worry. In any case, your weight is fine (be it slim or average) and if that's a pic of you in your avatar, you're a very attractive young lady, so I doubt you'll have any trouble attracting male attention.


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## Micronian (Nov 11, 2004)

Equisgurl said:


> I've been wondering about this for a bit, something that I noticed on all dating sites, and I was just curious if its an american thing. Women especially, when theyre on a thick side, they put that theyre "average" built, other ones that I consider to be average built, put "slim" in their description, and really overweight folks put "BBW" ( big/beautiful something).
> Now I've always considered myself to be average built, but oddly enough everyone tells me I'm slim, when I think of slim, I think thin and petite people like the olsen twins or nicole ritchie, and I know people who are naturally thin, not anorexic. I'm not small by any means 5'9- 148 lbs , in decent shape but I still dont see how I could fit into slim category.
> 
> What do you guys think?


when you're taller, you'll have to have more weight on your body...but that doesn't mean it's unhealthy fat, though. Obviously, if you're a taller person you'll have more area to cover than a 5'1 petite. I know Paris Hilton is pretty tall, I'm sure she is also in the 140lbs range--a little skinnier than ideal for her height.

I have a female friend, who is very sporty and active. She's two inches taller than me (i'm 5'5) and weighs as much as I do (which is about 150lbs) but she looks great! She does weights, swims, and canoes, so she's got a lot of muscle in her arms and shoulders. So when she weighs herself, the scale says she's "heavy", but her looks say she's perfectly fit--and strong!

depending how tall, or active, you are 150lbs is very deceiving.


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## Micronian (Nov 11, 2004)

:dd


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Melusine said:


> I really feel the pressure for this thinness thing. I'd be considered overweight (in hollywood) that's for sure. I'm by no means really big, in fact, i'm much more on the slim side, but i don't carry excess weight all that well and it makes me uncomfortable and have less confidence. And having summer coming only makes the pressure worse. I'd really like to wear less clothing, like shorts or a skirt or something so i don't die of heat exhaustion. I'm exercising like crazy at this point. I've slimmed down ALOT before, then i hit a low and stopped and gain more weight back from stopping biking and eating junk. Now i'm back and i'm not giving up on myself because i'm capable of it, and i know i can do it. Anyone can do it if they just don't quit.


If you're going for being healthy over a pointless number (weight) then I wouldn't pay too much attention to your weight as much as your measurements and body fat %. Women naturally carry more body fat than guys. Your body weight can be deceiving as you work out because muscle is heavier than fat so as you work out you lose fat but more than likely are adding muscle (which is a good thing). I tend to check my body fat % to see how I'm doing and if I'm meeting my goals.


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## salty (Mar 21, 2006)

orpheus said:


> i also notice people tend to put up their best glam photos. i've never met someone from these sites, but i would bet that in person there are obvious differences.


i think it depends on the person. a lot of girls seem to put up their very best pictures, some to the point of being deceptive; i know a few egotistical guys who do this as well. i like to think that my pictures portray the real me though: a lot of the pictures i post in the picture thread end up on my myspace...

i would say that equis is somewhere in between slim and average. i wouldn't worry about the classification though, you're quite pretty either way.


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## itsmemaggi (Sep 26, 2005)

I think we're just way too hard on ourselves. My boyfriend and his family and friends think I have an awesome body, and I look at them like they're crazy. People always hold themselves to a higher standard than they hold everyone else. 

xoxo
Maggi


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## Strength (Aug 12, 2006)

I think that most people are over-weight. I heard that especially in America, it is a big fat problem.
I guess it depends on relativity. In most countries, that height-weight ratio would not be considered thin. I don't know about how it relates to Americans though.


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## Failure (Feb 4, 2007)

I used to have a slim body type, when i was younger. Never was bony, always had muscle tone just not a big guy. I'm male and i was 5'7" 145 lbs when i was 18. I gained 20 lbs of muslce within the first year of being in the military and kept that wieght since. 32 now and 5'7" and 160-165 lbs depending on when i weight my self. Which i would consider average.


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## richie (Jan 24, 2006)

whiteclouds said:


> Some folks call me slim, and some call me chunky, so I have no clue what I am.


I have the same identity crisis myself...about half the people I come into contact with tell me I'm too skinny and need to gain weight, while other people have nicknames for me like "big rich" or "big guy"


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## 0Persephone0 (Feb 7, 2014)

Paul, that was a ****ty thing to say. 

EquisGirl, I would just put average. Everyone has their own ideas on what is slim and what isn't. The Olsen twins aren't slim, they are dangerously underweight.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

When I look at a girls profile on POF I see things as:

Thin - Profiles are just that, perhaps even anorexic
Athletic - Women who are into sports/the gym, thin but more toned.
Average - Just that, although most people choose that (Maybe as they dont want to be more specific)
A few extra pounds - They realise and accept they are overweight, might be doing something to lose weight but are not ashamed of it.
Big and Tall/BBW - They realise they are quite overweight, however are probably not ashamed or even proud of their curves. 
Undisclosed - They have some extra weight and are ashamed of it.


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

This is an old thread. Old.


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