# Sticky  Journey to Health Blog



## Penny (Mar 2, 2012)

Hi, this is Penny, SAS's new Community Service Administrator. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Washington State. and have joined the SAS management team. I am looking forward to getting more acquainted with your forums, chats, and frequent users. I hope I can be of help to you.

I have an independent blog located at http://JourneyToHealth.org
While not specific to Social Anxiety Disorder, I think there may be helpful information there.

The blog also appears reprinted in the SAS blog section. Comments made and questions asked on the SAS site, will stay on the SAS site, not the public site.

You may subscribe to the public blog or the SAS blog, if you would like to follow either one.


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## kc1895 (Sep 4, 2009)

Hi Penny, congrats on your new position here! :clap I'm sure many people can benefit from your professional background. Its great to have you here on SAS forum, thanks for joining us!


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## Penny (Mar 2, 2012)

Thank you. I'm sure many people in the community might be alarmed to see a therapist join the group. I hope over time, I will earn your trust.

I'm not here to diagnose, or treat, or get you on meds, or get you off meds, or make you "practice" your desired behaviors more. I hope I can be a good listener and and a wise advisor as each of you search for your wellness. Feel free to use by blog as a place to ask questions, and if I can, I will answer them to the best of my ability, or otherwise engage in a conversation with you.

We are all on a journey, sometimes we will cross paths , I hope those times are positive.


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## Penny (Mar 2, 2012)

*New blog post Journey to Health*

There's a new post "Reminders and Change" on my blog Journey to Healthhttp://journeytohealth.org

also available in the SAS blogs. Comments or questions posted in SAS Blog will not be included on my public site.


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## Penny (Mar 2, 2012)

*New posting in Journey to Health blog*

Holding On and Letting Go
I was preparing the house for visitors the other day, and had decided I needed to thin out the "stuff" around, on, and in my desk. As I sorted into shred, recycle, file piles, I reflected on how much "stuff" I have, how much comes in each day, and how it seems to be harder to dispose of than to accumulate. These experiences aren't just restricted to miscellaneous paperwork, or material items. They also occur emotionally. How much do I hold on to that is neither necessary nor helpful?

I grew up feeling like I needed to always be prepared to defend my feelings and behaviors. I gathered evidence and stored in memory details of nearly everything, in case I needed to explain something later. Imagine an 8-year-old CSI agent. It wasn't ok to take a position without being able to explain why, so I learned to present my cases in a way any jury could understand. Sometimes I overwhelmed others with my explanations of why I liked something. I remember as a new professional trying to identify accurately and completely why I didn't like some wallpaper sample suggested by a designer for my new office. Finally she said, "I don't need to know why. I just need to know if you like it or not. It helps me narrow down the selections to offer." What a concept! My likes and dislikes provided information about me. It wasn't a contest or a test. There were no right or wrong answers. I did not need to justify my preferences. They were &#8230; my preferences. I began to let go of the explanations and the attempts to justify, and began to recognize and accept that I had preferences. It was ok to recognize and express them. It was actually helpful to be aware of what I liked and didn't like. It saved time when sorting through options.

When it comes to stacks of emotional paperwork, I used to have a more difficult time sorting them than with actual paper. It was difficult to let things go. Painful, hurtful memories were as likely to be held on to as were the moments of joy, peace, and belonging. A loved one of mine often kept her painful reminders readily available, literally as well as virtually. At times of distress, she would say, " Did I ever share that terrible hurtful letter my neighbor sent me long ago?" She would remove it from an envelope in her desk and read the hurtful shaming remarks again - reopening her wounds. Why would someone do that - relive the injury? Perhaps to feel the pain anew as punishment or as a reminder to not be "too happy," or as a reminder she was alive, or as a way to feel something again- anything, even if only shame. I don't know her reasons. I'm pretty sure the process reinforced her critical view of herself. I know there must have been a better ways to emotionally care for herself.

Re-living slights, shame, or emotional pain does not necessarily help us grow or thrive. We have to learn to sort through and discard experiences that do not support our health and wellbeing. It is difficult to do without practice. It's like going through your sock drawer. Black socks might be good to have - but do you need 6 pair, the pair with the heel torn out, the pair that no longer fits, or the pair that hurts your feet whenever you wear them? You get the point. Keep what is useful, keep what you love, and keep what helps you become the person you strive to be. Recycle or discard the ones that no longer work for you. Let go of them after they have served their purpose.

Holding on to your pain may be helpful for a while, but when it has outlived its usefulness, let it go. Many processes have been developed for releasing negative energy from your life. They include things like burning the items and watching the concrete and material become air, burning paper with the items identified on it, Casting the virtual items into the sea or the wind, creating a vault where they pain can be locked inside and then buried, releasing balloons. You probably have releasing visualizations/ rituals of your own. The important action is to intentionally release the pain and its associated memories. Thinking negatively is a habit that requires an effort to change.

Hold on to your moments of peace, belonging, and recognizing all is right for the moment. Keep them available to you to draw from when you are distressed. Practice breathing, holding on and letting go of the breath. It will make a difference.

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Remember, this forum is not intended to be therapy. I have no way to view your body language, hear your tone of voice, or see if your words and your displayed emotions are matching. These are essential to effective communication and great tools for the therapist (and for the consumer when reversed.) I will attempt to be as helpful as I can. I will refer you the best I can to needed services. Even though I will not be your therapist, I am a health care professional bound by law and ethics to act to protect persons from harm. I am required to report my concerns of harm to self or others, and suspected abuse of children and vulnerable adults. I am located and providing these services in Washington State.

Again, I am open to communicating directly with you here. If you have questions or concerns, please leave a comment. I will attempt to address the content if I can.


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## loumon (Jul 6, 2012)

That is an outstanding post. It gave me a comforting smile. I find that it is when one begins to rid that weight, that is invisible to the eye, but so heavy on the mind - that the so needed peace begins. Cheers!


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## Penny (Mar 2, 2012)

*New Journey to Health blog*

There's a new post "Elections and Wellness- An Oxymoron?" on my blog Journey to Health http://journeytohealth.org

This is also also available in my SAS blog. 

Comments or questions posted in SAS Blog will not be included on my public site.


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## Penny (Mar 2, 2012)

*New Post - "Insanity" or Change?*

There's a new post "Insanity" or Change? on my blog Journey to Health http://journeytohealth.org

This is also also available in my SAS blog.

Comments or questions posted in SAS Blog will not be included on my public site.


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## Penny (Mar 2, 2012)

*New posting in Journey to Health blog*

*Bad habits die hard&#8230;good ones start even harder*
http://journeytohealth.org

You can also read this blog in the SAS blogs/ user Penny

Comments and questions posted on the SAS blog section will not be posted on my public site.


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