# Recently went to a SA support meetup in NYC



## absreim (Jun 19, 2012)

It was the first time I've met people in real life with severe SA. Until then, it seemed like everyone I knew was more sociable than I am.

The biggest impression that my visit to the group made on me was how unfriendly people with SA seemed when I first met them. I asked about whether they were part of the meetup and what their names were. They gave me very cold one-word answers and then proceeded to put their head down and stop talking to me.

If I didn't understand that these people have SA, my first impression of them would have been that they were complete jerks. Fortunately, I was well aware of what SA is and that their acting coldly s due to their anxiety rather than out of spite. I was eventually able to get them to open up and talk to me, and we had a good conversation. It was in this group that I found out just how mild my case of SA is, despite the trouble it has caused in my life.

I could definitely see how these people would have trouble making friends though. They come off as very unfriendly to people who don't understand SA.

The other interesting point I thought about was just how difficult it must be for people with SA to attend a support group. I was scared out of my mind the first time I went to a meetup, even though I had been taking anti-anxiety medication for a few months already. Therefore, the people who showed up to the support group must not have been the worst of SA sufferers. Really makes me wonder how much worse SA can get...


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

where was the meetup at?


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## inclaric (Nov 2, 2013)

I would like to make a group in my country !!!


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## absreim (Jun 19, 2012)

komorikun said:


> where was the meetup at?


Sony Atrium in midtown Manhattan


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

I've never been to any kind of meet up, but I have by chance met people with SA and it's interesting how genuinely unfriendly people with SA can appear to be, and more than likely there's nothing they want more than to make a connection.


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

I thought I had pretty bad SA, but after meeting a few people that really have it bad, I realized I only have a mild case.


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## Claudia87 (Aug 19, 2013)

I can't even grasp the concept of coming up with enough courage to attend a meeting, so kudos to you  I come off completely rigid to people I don't know, and it even shows in my face. The tension I feel makes people think I'm unhappy. I always get people yelling "SMILE!" at me. The worst!


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## just smile (Nov 2, 2013)

would love to go to a meet up one day, never met anyone else with SA here, but i refuse to go anywhere in manhattan, i despise the city ;w;


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## Destabilise (Jun 3, 2013)

crimeclub said:


> I've never been to any kind of meet up, but I have by chance met people with SA and it's interesting how genuinely unfriendly people with SA can appear to be, and more than likely there's nothing they want more than to make a connection.


me too, i was probably the shyest quietest person in my school but then meeting someone irl with SA it kind of showed me that i am more confident than some and some people struggle with it much worse, i myself have physical problems with my anxieties like shaking hands/blushing but some people don't and they do come across as arrogant because they don't seem uncomfortable, it just makes you think you don't know whats going on in anyones head even if they are extrovert aswell, that doesn't mean they are brimming with confidence it could be because they are hiding it with that mask, idk deep stuff but yeah there are people struggling much more than i, it's inspiring that these people can still push themselves to meet ups though, i'm a bit nervous of doing that at the moment.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I've been to a few before and yeah at some tables people were really quiet and not much convo was going on.


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

komorikun said:


> I've been to a few before and yeah at some tables people were really quiet and not much convo was going on.


Are those meet ups way awkward?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

crimeclub said:


> Are those meet ups way awkward?


A bit but I don't have high expectations for any meetup, even normal ones. It's just a way to meet people and practice socializing, maybe if you are lucky get a friend. I will chatter if asked questions. I just have to work on asking others questions and being a better listener.


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## merryk (Dec 25, 2008)

crimeclub said:


> I have by chance met people with SA and it's interesting how genuinely unfriendly people with SA can appear to be, and more than likely there's nothing they want more than to make a connection.


^Sad how often this is the case. It's been true of me too at times, now I'm really aware of appearing/being approachable and friendly so people might talk with me, regardless of who initiates. You never know what someone's thinking, so I try to give the benefit of the doubt and not read into it (negative or positive).

Kudos to everyone continuing to put themselves out there.


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## crimeclub (Nov 7, 2013)

merryk said:


> ^Sad how often this is the case. It's been true of me too at times, now I'm really aware of appearing/being approachable and friendly so people might talk with me, regardless of who initiates. You never know what someone's thinking,* so I try to give the benefit of the doubt and not read into it (negative or positive)*.
> 
> *Kudos to everyone continuing to put themselves out there.*


Same. And yeah I need to put more effort into putting myself out there more, my avoidant tendencies get the better of me way too often.


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## DarrellLicht (Mar 9, 2013)

Count your blessings that your community cares enough to put together an event like that. I went to two (not consecutively) depression/bipolar support meetings, either nobody showed or it was a different meetup because the group did not materialize, yet they keep the ad's running anyway :|


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## therealbleach (Jan 11, 2013)

good post, a lot to think about. I often wonder how many people even recognize I have SA and how many think I am just being a jerk. Trying to think about people I know casually, it is hard to pinpoint if any of them have SA, although I guess at least a few of them probably do.


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## nightwalker (Nov 20, 2008)

Claudia87 said:


> I can't even grasp the concept of coming up with enough courage to attend a meeting, so kudos to you  I come off completely rigid to people I don't know, and it even shows in my face. The tension I feel makes people think I'm unhappy. I always get people yelling "SMILE!" at me. The worst!


gah i get this too!!!


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