# How important are looks?



## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

I know, it's never been discussed here. 

Would you start a relationship with someone you were very compatible with yet definitely found unattractive?

Yes or no please - no ifs, ands or buts.


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## redkit (Mar 14, 2006)

I had some internet affairs, I loved women I had never met.
I even didnt see their pictures.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Sorry, I should have been more specific. I meant someone you met in real life and found to be physically unattractive.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

Yes, I would. I have no room to reject someone on the basis of looks.


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## pariahgirl (Mar 26, 2008)

Not very important. Looks fade too fast. I think over time you can become more and more attracted to someone once you get to know them even if you don't find them initially very attractive.


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## shyvr6 (Feb 18, 2008)

Yes. Over time the more you're with them, the more you'll find them attractive.


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## redkit (Mar 14, 2006)

I loved an ugly woman in my real life.
She was my therapist. She didnot love me.
I hated her then. I still hate her.
I hate therapy and therapists.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

That was almost poetic


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

pariahgirl said:


> Not very important. Looks fade too fast. I think over time you can become more and more attracted to someone once you get to know them even if you don't find them initially very attractive.


exactly. what i find attractive may not be attractive to my mailman and vice versa


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

I had to vote "NO" due to how the question was stated. It asks if I'd start a relationship with someone *I* found unattractive. Well, no. This doesn't mean I'm looking for a super-model, just someone I personally find attractive and people differ in what they think is attractive. Some guys would think a chick with pink hair, more tattoos than a rock star, and piercings anyplace they can find a fold of skin to skewer is HOT, but I personally would not.

And LostInReverie (Libby) already knows I think she's very attractive.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Don't start.


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## Formerly Artie (Jun 26, 2007)

I personally agree with what Karl said, even the last statement despite LIR's complete disagreement with me. But that's fine. To prove or disprove something like that is near-impossible, so there's really nothing much more to say about it.

I can't vote due to how the question and options were worded also. A scale of 1 through 10 or even 1 through 5 would offer much more flexibility, and while I place compatibility above looks in general, a simple vote of 'Yes' or 'No' based on unattractiveness yet being compatible just wouldn't do the vote justice... Sorry.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

I mean clearly unattractive to you. I want to know if looks matter at all, even in the slightest. So if the person needs to be a certain "rating", then it is a No vote. 

Please and thank you.


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## Formerly Artie (Jun 26, 2007)

Okay, but I would assume we're talking about zero physical appeal at all?

If she's on the level of Rosie O'Donnell or Whoopie Goldberg, then I would have to say No. Neither of them are compatible with me anyway, especially politically, but that's neither here nor there.

I guess while looks count for something, they certainly don't count for everything. Even with that said, I had no vote 'No' simply because it's hard to force my mind to exclude looks entirely, with entirely being the key word. Some people can, but I can't. I hope that even with just a 'Yes' or 'No' vote, the latter vote wouldn't be taken out of context, and I don't mean only me, but with anyone who votes in such a way.


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## Nae (Nov 10, 2003)

No, of course looks are a factor of who you find attractive if you want to get all reductionist about it.


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## redkit (Mar 14, 2006)

physical appearence does not attract me.
an intellectual brain atracts me.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

> Would you start a relationship with someone you were very compatible with yet definitely found unattractive?


No, I'd be highly unlikely to start a relationship with someone I found unattractive. If you're not attracted to a person (or find them outright "unattractive"), are you really that compatible? Physical interest in each other plays a part in compatibility.

That said, I think "attractive" is very subjective and attainable by most people. I guess you don't want to hear that, but I thought I'd throw it in there anyway.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Just Lurking said:


> If you're not attracted to a person (or find them outright "unattractive"), are you really that compatible? Physical interest in each other plays a part in compatibility.


While physical attraction definitely plays a part in how interested a person is in getting to know another person, I don't think (at least for me) that it has anything to do with how harmonious your personalities are.


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

Although I voted yes, I voted this because the social interaction can change our perception of people's "attractiveness". But, we all have our line in the sand so to speak.


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## gozinsky (Mar 11, 2008)

No. looks matter to me. It's definitely not everything. Not even close. But it definitely is a factor.


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## bender3008 (Jan 17, 2008)

I would like to know how LostInReverie would vote
and also what she thinks is attractive.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

I voted yes. 

I mean attractive in what each personally finds to be attractive.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

LostInReverie said:


> While physical attraction definitely plays a part in how interested a person is in getting to know another person, I don't think (at least for me) that it has anything to do with how harmonious your personalities are.


For me, personality is not the extent of compatibility. I like a girl who takes care of her appearance. If she doesn't take care of her appearance, she is not compatible with me. And yes, once you settle into a relationship this becomes less of an issue, but we were talking about a relationship's beginnings, weren't we?


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## trey (Nov 26, 2007)

No, I wouldn't. 

I think physical attraction is required for a relationship to be successful. While not as important as personality compatability, we aren't only our minds... we need that whole package or we'll look elsewhere for the missing elements.

We're biologically wired to include physical attraction in our evaluation of compatability.

Of course I don't date so my opinion on the subject is moot... :stu


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## VCL XI (Jan 19, 2004)

Yes. I'm not a superficial bigot.


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## slurpazillia (Nov 18, 2005)

---


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## Scrub-Zero (Feb 9, 2004)

Slurpavillia said:


> would you guys date somebody with no face? lets just say through the power of imagination they could speak and had vison but their face was just round bone with skin over top. so they wernt anything they wernt attractive or unattractive just blank faced.


You mean the people in suit and tie working in big offices?

And yes, i would date some who i don't find attractive.
I did before and would do so again, if i wasn't in a relationship already.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Slurpavillia said:


> would you guys date somebody with no face? lets just say through the power of imagination they could speak and had vison but their face was just round bone with skin over top. so they wernt anything they wernt attractive or unattractive just blank faced.


no! no head means no lips and mouth. no lips and mouth means no.....kissing of course. what else can one do with lips and a mouth?


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

Umm... yeah, I probably would. 

However, I'm pretty sure everyone has a limit. Don't tell me you'd want to kiss a 60 year old with black teeth, a greasy mullet, and meth sores all over their face.


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## User57854 (Dec 26, 2006)

-


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## Kelly (Dec 12, 2003)

Cerberus said:


> I'm not going to spit out platitudes. My answer: No. If a girl can't arouse me and get me hard, then we're just going to be friends. And personality alone won't arouse me, otherwise I could **** anyone of any gender, no matter how hideous they are, just because they have such a, oh, so great, personality. Physical attractiveness is a big part of a relationship.


You have an interesting way of saying it, but still :agree, except for the stuff I'm not biologically able to agree with. 

I voted "no." I think I could go out with someone whom I initially found "neutral" and the attraction would grow from there, since their personality is also an important component. But I could not be interested in someone I found completely unattractive.

Have a nice day,
Kelly


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## FairleighCalm (May 20, 2007)

Slurpavillia said:


> would you guys date somebody with no face? lets just say through the power of imagination they could speak and had vison but their face was just round bone with skin over top. so they wernt anything they wernt attractive or unattractive just blank faced.


Excellent way to put it, I definitely would...I think. Now I'm not sure. If they did not have a head and their voice came from their bosom, then definitely yes...but then I wouldn't have lips to kiss...hmmm. Faceless except for a *****in' pair of nice lips,then yes.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

If she's not obese, not foreign, and I don't puke everytime I see her, then yes I can find her attractive based on her personality.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

So that would be a no vote.


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## SebFontain (Jan 27, 2004)

Yes.


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## Qolselanu (Feb 15, 2006)

The question seems awkward so I didn't vote. I will just say this...

I find that if i truly like a girl them from my perspective she becomes extraordinarily attractive and beautiful in all aspects and not just physical.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

LostInReverie said:


> So that would be a no vote.


If you say so.

But not no to you.


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Every male on this forum would say no to me, I assure you.


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## Eraserhead (Sep 23, 2006)

I'd have to say no. Looks are hardly the be all and end all, but I need to find a girl at least somewhat attractive.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

I voted "no", noting that the question clearly refers to what I find attractive or not, and not some general standard. 

Since no one asked, I'll go on a bit about how I think this all works. :b 

I don't entirely subscribe to the idea that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If it is, we look through remarkably similar lenses. I think we can form a pretty good consensus about who is or isn't "attractive" in that ogling sense.

Most women who are high on the oglability scale (awkward) attract men who really piss me off. Sorry. Men who themsleve get ogled a lot. The rest of us, men and women, learn to focus on the attractive traits others have, and in some cases we learn to find traits we can find attractive, even when that involves a pretty thorough search. 

I think that's how its actually true that there is someone for everyone, if someone is willing to remeber the difference between what they might want, and what they really need.


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## omgnoudidnt (Jan 8, 2005)

no.


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## wishfulthinking (Nov 28, 2006)

A man doesn't have to be a supermodel for me to be attracted to him, but the question was would I date someone who I don't find attractive. Couldn't do it. I'm very shallow, but I'm workin on that  Besides, that's what the friend zone is for.


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## Becky (Nov 5, 2003)

LostInReverie said:


> Would you start a relationship with someone you were very compatible with yet definitely found unattractive?


No way. I don't want no ugly man.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

No. 

But that isn't to say a guy has to be a model or Adonis either. 

I am not sure I even have a "type" anymore, I definitely did when I was younger.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

LostInReverie said:


> Every male on this forum would say no to me, I assure you.


Are you saying that I'm not a guy?


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

No, I'm saying you'd have a completely different opinion if you ever met me.


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## anonymid (Oct 16, 2005)

pariahgirl said:


> Not very important. Looks fade too fast. I think over time you can become more and more attracted to someone once you get to know them even if you don't find them initially very attractive.


I agree. Well said.

I remember being shocked and surprised to learn, in the 9th grade, that a girl whom I had a huge crush on was considered ugly by most of the guys in my class. It's not that I though she was the prettiest girl in our class--I didn't think she was--but I was just so attracted to her, for so many reasons, that it was hard for me to imagine her as anything but good looking. Being attracted to her physically was, for me, just a natural part of being attracted to her generally. When you like someone enough, it's hard to separate looks from personality. You just come to love everything that they are, and you wouldn't wish them any different.


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## Gerard (Feb 3, 2004)

Not really. Again, I value too much on personality. For me rarely the opposite sex turns me on the personality variable. But sometimes since I value my appearance (exercise, working out and dressing well) I just have a yearn if not big that she does too.


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