# Why am I afraid of family members dying?



## Pennywise (Aug 18, 2011)

Recently, I realized that I have an abnormal fear of family members dying in some way. For example, this Black Friday, I went shopping with my mom and grandmother, even though I hate Black Friday. And I realized that I went because I had this nagging fear that they would be assaulted or killed by shoppers, as I've heard stories of these things happening to people during Black Friday shopping.

Now, they told me that they are taking my infant nephew to the mall to sit on Santa's lap in an hour or so. This sounds stupid to me and I don't really want to go, but again, this fear of something happening to them is making me think I should go with them, even though people probably be as rabid as they were on Black Friday.

Should I go to ease my mind? And how can I get over this?


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## LainToWired (Nov 10, 2011)

Do what _you_ want to do, not what your nagging fear tells you to. It's an opportunity to get out of the house, perhaps... and you can also convince yourself that those situations aren't so dangerous after all.

I get this sort of responsibility guilt frequently too. I am extremely vigilant in case something happens to my family. If their lateness or absence cannot be explained or I can't get in contact with them, I freak out and then assume the worst. Something has happened to them and they are dead or dying or stranded.

You don't have to answer, but have you ever lost or been permanently separated from a close family member as a child? In my case, I think that has a lot to do with it.


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## ainsleigh (Dec 6, 2011)

I've had that too! I think to some degree it's perfectly normal and everyone experiences it with those they love. 

The main thing is to make sure that your fear for someone else dying doesn't stop them from living. It can also stop you living to be in that place of fear all the time. 

My dad always worries about me. I travel a lot and having been living away from home for years. He still worries nearly as much as he used to. I just tell him the best way he can help me out is to send me positive thoughts and imagine that wonderful things are happening to me. Expect the best, instead of the worst. 

Life is so incredibly precious and vulnerable. It's bittersweet. It's short. So we've just got to accept that death occurs and appreciate what we have while we can.


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## Double Indemnity (Aug 15, 2011)

It sounds like generalized anxiety to me. I have it too. I've sometimes wanted to tell my parents not to get on a plane for fear it might crash.


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