# What are men on dating sites looking for?



## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

So I've been meeting men exclusively through dating sites since I was about 24.

Needless to say I haven't had any luck at all. Every guy I date never calls me back after the first date.

Only a few have seemed interested in keeping in contact with me. Of those few, one was old enough to be my dad and another was a hardcore Christian who tried to convert me. 

SO I was talking to a guy in a chat room I frequent about my problems.

He told me that dating sites were useless and only had men looking for a one night stand. He said I should try to find other ways to meet men, even if it was other places on the internet.

I didn't really think that men were only out for sex.. I guess I try to give people the benefit of the doubt? 

I've used dating sites because I live in Hicksville and because I'm a recluse, but I NEVER have any success..

I'm getting tired of dating sites to be honest, but I have no idea what else to do. Where would be some places to meet men?


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## BillDauterive (Oct 24, 2012)

I would totally believe if the majority of men on those sites only want a one-night stand.

In my culture, dating is pretty rare and can even be taboo with some folks. Instead, we have "matrimonial" websites where singles find each other to marry instead and skip out on the months or years of dating. :0

Even there, I had a couple of girls tell me that men joined there just to contact girls for one-night stands, meaningless flings, fooling around, etc. If that's going to happen on a "matrimonial" website, I can't imagine what its like on a "Western" dating site. :blank

It definitely sounds like you should try some other avenues to meet guys.


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

TheBLA said:


> I would totally believe if the majority of men on those sites only want a one-night stand.
> 
> In my culture, dating is pretty rare and can even be taboo with some folks. Instead, we have "matrimonial" websites where singles find each other to marry instead and skip out on the months or years of dating. :0
> 
> ...


I would try them if I knew what to try. I am way too anxious for clubs. Where I come from if you go to a bar by yourself and you are a woman you are considered a ****. It's not my thing anyhow.

Lots of people around here are fundamentalist Christians and I'm not religious so its just hard to meet people.


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## Just Lurking (Feb 8, 2007)

A dating site is meant so _supplement_ your dating life. It's not meant to _be_ your dating life, so the guy you talked to is correct in that you should explore other options.

A lot of guys on dating sites are just interested in sex, for sure. Some guys (and girls) can be horndogs like that, and a dating site is a perfect way to go about it. You just have to weed your way through them.

As to where to meet men -- well, you identify yourself as a 'recluse', so getting out (anywhere) would be a start. Think about what your interests and hobbies are, then see about some kind of activity (involving other people) that involves said interests.


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

Just Lurking said:


> A dating site is meant so _supplement_ your dating life. It's not meant to _be_ your dating life, so the guy you talked to is correct in that you should explore other options.
> 
> A lot of guys on dating sites are just interested in sex, for sure. Some guys (and girls) can be horndogs like that, and a dating site is a perfect way to go about it. You just have to weed your way through them.
> 
> As to where to meet men -- well, you identify yourself as a 'recluse', so getting out (anywhere) would be a start. Think about what your interests and hobbies are, then see about some kind of activity (involving other people) that involves said interests.


Most of my interests and hobbies are solitary type things which I'm sure doesn't help.


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## BillDauterive (Oct 24, 2012)

Since you're not religious, I guess we can cross churches off the list. 

Have you thought about joining any organizations or meet up groups for your hobby?



Sindelle said:


> Most of my interests and hobbies are solitary type things which I'm sure doesn't help.


Would you mind giving any examples? I am sure there are groups for all hobbies and interests out there, from bungee-jumping to playing Dungeons and Dragons.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Some are only looking for sex. Some are only looking for relationships. I'd say most are looking for or are at least open to both. Generally the better looking they are the more likely they are only after sex since they have plenty of options. The less attractive ones are more likely to want a relationship.


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

TheBLA said:


> Would you mind giving any examples? I am sure there are groups for all hobbies and interests out there, from bungee-jumping to playing Dungeons and Dragons.


Mostly nerdy things. Typical geek stuff. There are not a whole lot of people around here that are like that. IF they are they are usually wayyy too young for me.


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## BillDauterive (Oct 24, 2012)

Sindelle said:


> Mostly nerdy things. Typical geek stuff. There are not a whole lot of people around here that are like that. IF they are they are usually wayyy too young for me.


Have you tried websites like www.meetup.com? I hope you may find what you are looking for though.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

Sex.

Or.

A successful, out-going, confident, educated, intelligent woman who knows what she wants in life, has a job, and works out and takes care of herself.

At least from experience. If you're none of those to them then it's a deal-breaker for guys. I even seen some guys put what income he wants a girl to make.

I swear guys on have super high standards so it's not just women that have high standards.

This is why I have such bad luck on dating sites. More decent looking guys have the high standards and the ones that look like players (half naked mirror pictures) want sex. The less desirable and not as good looking men look for almost any woman for a relationship and do not have as high standards.


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

MidnightBlu said:


> Sex.
> 
> Or.
> 
> ...


Yeah men do have high standards a lot of times.

I'm mostly looking for a reclusive nerd like myself but most of those guys are also looking for hot successful outgoing confident women that are not me.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

It's hard to find nerds on dating sites as I mostly go for those. Maybe they're hiding because they think it looks bad to put on their profiles that they're into video games and other stuff like that.

Have you tried gk2gk.com?


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## TheDarkGuardian (Jun 1, 2013)

Sindelle said:


> Mostly nerdy things. Typical geek stuff. There are not a whole lot of people around here that are like that. IF they are they are usually wayyy too young for me.


Go list down all your geeky stores you can find of, even if they are far away and make the effort to go to them. Have you tried nerd conventions? Internet gaming conventions? Larp parties? Etc


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## trymed (Jun 28, 2013)

Sindelle said:


> So I've been meeting men exclusively through dating sites since I was about 24.
> 
> Needless to say I haven't had any luck at all. Every guy I date never calls me back after the first date.
> 
> ...


a lot of men are definitely out for sex.. but not all of them. Well, all of them.. If not.. what's the point of dating?? Hehe. But you see, many of them might not call you or whatever just because they've got their own problems, which if they didn't have they wouldn't be on a dating site. Not necessarily because they don't like you or they just wanted a quick screw out of you.
I was on a dating site for a while but I never met anyone because I knew that if it actually worked I'd just end up running away and avoiding that person... The more I like someone the harder it is for me to see them. Not that everyone is screwy like me, but I'm sure a lot of guys on dating sites are screwy in their own way, because they'd be out in a club or a bar or a graveyard looking for women instead.

also.. did you call them?. Maybe a percentage was waiting for you to call and thought you didn't like them, maybe also because you didn't get very intimate.
what kind of guy are you looking for?


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## trymed (Jun 28, 2013)

Try moving to somewhere better than Hicksville? Why stay in a place you don't feel right in? Maybe you'd end up getting out more.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

sex and luv


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

MidnightBlu said:


> Sex.
> 
> I swear guys on have super high standards so it's not just women that have high standards.
> 
> This is why I have such bad luck on dating sites. More decent looking guys have the high standards and the ones that look like players (half naked mirror pictures) want sex. The less desirable and not as good looking men look for almost any woman for a relationship and do not have as high standards.


They don't.

The problem with dating sites is the "decent (hot/super hot) looking guys" have lowered their standards, so when us average/above average guy's come along and message a girl who is in our league, we are ignored and never replied to.

The problem with dating sites is even the ugliest of women can believe they are better looking than they actually are due to the sheer numbers of messages they will get off men.

Women always seem to fall for the bait though. Why would some decent/very good looking guy be using dating websites? I highly doubt it will be to meet someone for anything long term, because it's more than likely he get's enough attention in real life.

Same goes for the decent/hot looking women. Dating site's are an ego boost for them,


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## alienbird (Apr 9, 2010)

Yes, sex. Men like sex. Men want sex. Men on dating sites want sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Men who say they want love also want sex. That's the only thing a lot of them care about, too.

I don't know where you could meet men at. I still don't quite understand how people meet each other and date and all of that. I understand if it's through friends or something, but when you have no friends... I don't understand. I'm not helpful, I know.


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Try dating sites which are not free, people are more serious on those. You also need to be clear in your profile what you are after and make it clear you are not interest in one off flings.

There are a lot of guys on those sites who do want more but it's tricky to sift through the crap unfortunately.


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## Beingofglass (May 5, 2013)

Well, for starters, I'm just like you, except I'm a guy. I've only ever dated through sites, and I've only been looking for kind, laidback, intelligent woman who wants to build a 
relationship slowly like people are supposed to. Courting each other if you may. 
And I can tell you just the same about women, they are 99,99% looking for either casual sex or they have so messed up ideas about men and relationships that it's very hard tp believe that they'll ever be happy with anyone.
It is an impossible World we live in...


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## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

I'm seriously contemplating trying online dating because it seems like finding a nerdy girl that likes the things I do, is almost impossible. They seem to be hiding. Or at least running from me :/

I'm really at a loss as to where to go to find them, I mean you could go to a convention and start cold approaches but I don't think that's my thing.

And I hear that males literally have to fight off every other guy, when it comes to messaging women, and women tend to just be passive and let the messages come to them.. sigh.

To answer you question OP.People in this thread are suggesting that all guys want sex, well I cant speak for all males out there. But I'm old enough to want something more than just sex. So not ALL guys are like this.


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## LeotheLion (Sep 13, 2013)

In my humble opinion whether you meet men or women on an online dating site, at a social gathering, in a bar or coffee shop its still a numbers game. A mate of mine met his wife on an internet dating site after viewing nearly hundreds of profiles. Years ago before I fell into a crisis I use to meet women at social events and exibitions. I think you need to narrow down what type of guy you like and go to the appropriate places to meet those types of guys. For instance if I wanted to meet fit girls I would go to a yoga class hope this helps.


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## caveman8 (Sep 3, 2012)

Can we stop with the "in real life" comparison? Everyone is on the Internet, and it is part of "real life".

Also, "guys on dating sites" aren't any different from guys in "real life". Ever consider that guys you meet in "real life" may very well be on dating sites as well?

It's pretty normal in this day and age, the distinction being weirdos can't be weeded out at first glance. Other than that, there's really no difference. And most guys are looking to score, either way.


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## lisbeth (May 18, 2012)

MidnightBlu said:


> It's hard to find nerds on dating sites as I mostly go for those. Maybe they're hiding because they think it looks bad to put on their profiles that they're into video games and other stuff like that.
> 
> Have you tried gk2gk.com?


Where I live, it seems to be the exact opposite of that. I've never actually gone as far as filling in a profile on a dating site, but I have registered throwaway accounts on a couple to snoop around and see if they're something I'd be interested in. The guys round here literally fall into three types: shirtless "lads" who can't spell, long-haired metalheads, and geeky video game fans. I think the video gamers outnumber anything else. It's funny how these things vary so much in different places.


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## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

Hey OP, if you like geeky stuff, maybe you're into D&D? There's a couple of D&D boards that host games on virtual tables. I made a group for it a while back on here, though it sadly never got off the ground. Or try MMOs. Back when I played WoW there were a few people in my guild that "found" each other.

As for dating sites, I agree with that guy you talked to; quit using them. I speak from experience, because while maybe there are indeed a lot of guys looking for casual hookups, those of us that are interested in something serious often experience the same thing as you. I can count on one hand the women I met (up with) that were actually serious about the whole thing. While i've had a few short-term relationships from them, in the end it was a waste of time, money, and trust.


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## LeotheLion (Sep 13, 2013)

Agree I know someone from this pickup community who meets girls in bars but also meets girls online too.



caveman8 said:


> Can we stop with the "in real life" comparison? Everyone is on the Internet, and it is part of "real life".
> 
> Also, "guys on dating sites" aren't any different from guys in "real life". Ever consider that guys you meet in "real life" may very well be on dating sites as well?
> 
> It's pretty normal in this day and age, the distinction being weirdos can't be weeded out at first glance. Other than that, there's really no difference. And most guys are looking to score, either way.


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## LeotheLion (Sep 13, 2013)

Agree I am in my mid 40s and I want to settle down into a relationship with the right girl.


h00dz said:


> I'm seriously contemplating trying online dating because it seems like finding a nerdy girl that likes the things I do, is almost impossible. They seem to be hiding. Or at least running from me :/
> 
> I'm really at a loss as to where to go to find them, I mean you could go to a convention and start cold approaches but I don't think that's my thing.
> 
> ...


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## Zeeshan (Sep 4, 2011)

Quality of women are really low on dating sights


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## BrownieCharles (Sep 11, 2013)

Hello. Hope you are well. Maybe if you went to a store with something you are interested in, such as books etc. and if you see someone who catches your eye, try going up to him (if you feel capable of this) and ask him about what he's looking at. Say you read the book, or whatever is applicable, and begin a conversation. Men are often just as nervous to approach you and this may help to break the ice. Hope that can help you and that your issue is resolved soon. Best of luck!


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

Grand said:


> Yes, sex. Men like sex. Men want sex. Men on dating sites want sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Men who say they want love also want sex. That's the only thing a lot of them care about, too.
> 
> I don't know where you could meet men at. I still don't quite understand how people meet each other and date and all of that. I understand if it's through friends or something, but when you have no friends... I don't understand. I'm not helpful, I know.


well yeah guys are not going to be looking for a woman for her brain.


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

Zeeshan said:


> Quality of women are really low on dating sights


So I guess I'm low quality ? :/


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

Did you try eharmony?


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## AngelClare (Jul 10, 2012)

caveman8 said:


> Can we stop with the "in real life" comparison? Everyone is on the Internet, and it is part of "real life".
> 
> Also, "guys on dating sites" aren't any different from guys in "real life". Ever consider that guys you meet in "real life" may very well be on dating sites as well?
> 
> It's pretty normal in this day and age, the distinction being weirdos can't be weeded out at first glance. Other than that, there's really no difference. And most guys are looking to score, either way.


I totally agree with this. I don't know why there is so much paranoid generalizations about the Internet. Guys anywhere usually want to get laid. You just have to know what a good guy looks like.


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

AngelClare said:


> Did you try eharmony?


I looked at eharmony. Only 5 men within like 100 miles.


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

AngelClare said:


> I totally agree with this. I don't know why there is so much paranoid generalizations about the Internet. Guys anywhere usually want to get laid. You just have to know what a good guy looks like.


What does a good man look like then?

Because I can't tell.

EIther that or I scare good men off or soemthing 

I don't know whats wrong with me


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## TobeyJuarez (May 16, 2012)

Sindelle said:


> So I've been meeting men exclusively through dating sites since I was about 24.
> 
> Needless to say I haven't had any luck at all. Every guy I date never calls me back after the first date.
> 
> ...


at least you got dates form it... i was on okcupid for like 2 months and only got one girl who innitiated messaging with me and i had to message like 50 girls just to get like 10 to respond... and i went on no dates what so ever


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## h00dz (Dec 25, 2012)

Sindelle said:


> What does a good man look like then?
> 
> Because I can't tell.
> 
> ...


In all honesty, If you were down here in aus, I'd date you if you were interested. I'm just like you in that respect struggling to find a nerdy/geeky girl (well guy for you) that isn't super out going or anything like that.

They seem to be a very rare breed indeed.

So I'm sure there must be another bloke out there like me, just got to keep your chin up and keep trying I guess.


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## Cam1 (Dec 4, 2011)

A date.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

Zeeshan said:


> Quality of women are really low on dating sights


Hell yeah.

Well in my experience theres a few types on women on dating site's:

The study freak - Has a huge list of qualifications. Joined dating website's because nobody intelligent enough is in their area for them to date. Only respond's to people who have done countless years at Oxford university. Rather snobby and wont even reply to "common" people.

The clubbing tart - Even though they may be 30, the peroxide in their hair has killed off too many brain cell's to realise that getting smashed on 7 bottles of Lambrini every weekend is not the way to go. According to their profiles, their friend conveniently forced them to sign up for the dating site or they did it as a joke. They scour their inbox's with no intention of dating anyone, just having their ego boosted to give them added confidence to enjoy their "live for the weekend" lifestyle.

The horror movie star/The dunce - Both have similar characteristic's. On the outside is a face you wouldn't want to see on a dark night. Inside is the personality of a wet sponge. The wet sponge inside them has absorbed the belief that because "hot" men have messaged them, they must surely be "hot". In reality the "hot" men only messaged them to get a quick leg over. After being used countless times they mention how they have "kissed too many frogs" or they are "sick of being messed about" but go round in circles over and over again.

That's 99% of the types of women on dating sites.

The only real chance is to look for women who are some of the longest member's on the site. Chances are they are legit and have had messages off all the guys on the site and have turned them down. So theres more chance


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

pete24 said:


> Hell yeah.
> 
> Well in my experience theres a few types on women on dating site's:
> 
> ...


I don't fit into any of those categories.


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## kursedlife (May 5, 2010)

At least you get dates. I have profiles on about 15 different dates for a few years now and I haven't gotten one response ever. It's like I don't even exist.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

kursedlife said:


> At least you get dates. I have profiles on about 15 different dates for a few years now and I haven't gotten one response ever. It's like I don't even exist.


Damn that sucks. I thought my luck was bad


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

h00dz said:


> In all honesty, If you were down here in aus, I'd date you if you were interested. I'm just like you in that respect struggling to find a nerdy/geeky girl (well guy for you) that isn't super out going or anything like that.
> 
> They seem to be a very rare breed indeed.
> 
> So I'm sure there must be another bloke out there like me, just got to keep your chin up and keep trying I guess.


Yeah I mean I want someone on my level. And you seem like a great guy. If you weren't 1000's of miles away I'd surely date you. TBH I have met some interesting fellows that I liked in chat rooms and online games and stuff but they have all lived so far away it was impossible for it to work.


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

kursedlife said:


> At least you get dates. I have profiles on about 15 different dates for a few years now and I haven't gotten one response ever. It's like I don't even exist.


Aww that sucks.

I mean yeah I have been on dates but its very obvious the men do not like me in that way. They simply want to have a one night stand. But I want an actual boyfriend. It hurts when you have met them in person and they simply never acknowledge your existence again. You wonder what you said or if you were simply hideous to them.

I have dated about 15 different men and none of them ever wanted anything more except someone who was wayyyyyyyyyy too old for me (He had a son almost my age) and a guy who wanted to convert me to his religion.

My personality just isn't suited to casual sex. Therefore a large portion of men are going to write me off.

I'm not exactly the type of woman men dream about either so I guess I'm **** out of luck?


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## kursedlife (May 5, 2010)

Sindelle said:


> Aww that sucks.
> 
> I mean yeah I have been on dates but its very obvious the men do not like me in that way. They simply want to have a one night stand. But I want an actual boyfriend. It hurts when you have met them in person and they simply never acknowledge your existence again. You wonder what you said or if you were simply hideous to them.
> 
> ...


Then what type are you?


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## tennislover84 (May 14, 2010)

I've tried to meet someone on dating sites, and I'm definitely not just looking for a one night stand. To be quite honest, I couldn't cope with a one night stand, even if I wanted one.

I'm so anxious that it takes me a long time to feel comfortable enough with someone, to think about being intimate. It could happen if I felt very comfortable with someone straight away, but it wouldn't be something planned, if you know what I mean.

So there are people out there like me, and like the other guys here who've said they're looking for a relationship primarily.  We're all humans though, men and women, so it's natural to want to have sex at some point. As a motivation for trying to meet someone, sex and commitment aren't mutually exclusive.

Also, I don't think women who use dating sites are "low quality", or that there are always the same types. Things like that are just annoying generalisations. I've not had much luck myself, but the women I've talked to just seem like they're lonely. :stu Dating sites seem to be very mainstream now, so it's just not accurate to make statements like "the only people who use dating sites are losers/ugly/only looking for sex, etc"


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

kursedlife said:


> Then what type are you?


Well I'm a geek I guess. Kinda artistic as well. I'm nice I guess. Not very energetic. I'm not a douchebag either and I don't enjoy the presence of douchebags. I like being around people but I'm not a person who enjoys crowds or loud behavior.

I'm also a bit messed up in the head. I have a very severe anxiety disorder and have suffered agoraphobia for years. I also have very severe and chronic depression. I was once also diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome when I was 14, though whether that is true or not, is a point of some contention because I'm obviously not severely autistic or anything and I am capable of grasping social rules but as a child I wasn't.

Oh yeah and I'm fat which is an automatic deal-breaker for the vast majority of guys out there. 

That is what I am in a nutshell. I think maybe I just bore men to tears LOL


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## kursedlife (May 5, 2010)

Sindelle said:


> Well I'm a geek I guess. Kinda artistic as well. I'm nice I guess. Not very energetic. I'm not a douchebag either and I don't enjoy the presence of douchebags. I like being around people but I'm not a person who enjoys crowds or loud behavior.
> 
> I'm also a bit messed up in the head. I have a very severe anxiety disorder and have suffered agoraphobia for years. I also have very severe and chronic depression. I was once also diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome when I was 14, though whether that is true or not, is a point of some contention because I'm obviously not severely autistic or anything and I am capable of grasping social rules but as a child I wasn't.
> 
> ...


You don't seem THAT boring....LOL


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## Beingofglass (May 5, 2013)

pete24 said:


> Hell yeah.
> 
> Well in my experience theres a few types on women on dating site's:
> 
> ...


You forgot dem armies of singlemoms


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## JohnWalnut (May 2, 2012)

Well it sounds like the area you live in is a problem. If you're looking for an atheist and you live in a religious area, then that's going to write off a lot of guys already.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

Beingofglass said:


> You forgot dem armies of singlemoms


:idea:idea:idea Completely forgot about them. I set my profile to no when it asked will you date single mother's so they don't show up on searches.

The single mother vulture - Dating sites are filled with creature's of this breed. Often when lovestruck before the age of 20, they make the rash decision of having children with someone they met on a drunken night out. Once the "true love" soon end's, the vulture is left to a full time job of looking after the kids and being paid in benefit's by the state. They often pop up on dating site's in huge numbers with their claws ready to tear into anything that moves as they look for someone to help with their mistake. Unsuspecting guy's that take the bait will be constantly reminded that the children mean more to them than a relationship ever will, and unless the guy takes on the burden, the vulture will be back roaming the wastelands before long.

Way too true 

Sindelle - Your part of the rare breed , the other 1% (10 out of every 1000 profiles)


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

JohnWalnut said:


> Well it sounds like the area you live in is a problem. If you're looking for an atheist and you live in a religious area, then that's going to write off a lot of guys already.


Well unfortunately I can't move


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## estse (Nov 18, 2003)

I look for dates on dating sites. Have never followed through, though.


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## namebn (Mar 12, 2013)

maybe you could try to meet a guy here, from reading some post here, seems like lots of guys here would love to have a nice gf.


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

namebn said:


> maybe you could try to meet a guy here, from reading some post here, seems like lots of guys here would love to have a nice gf.


Eh, if they were willing to date me I'd go for it! Hit me up guys! haha


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Sindelle said:


> Well unfortunately I can't move


why can't you move?


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

komorikun said:


> why can't you move?


No money. No job. I don't know anyone anywhere else. I'd move in with a boyfriend if he wanted me to, but he'd have to come and get me I'm afraid.

I have a severe phobia of driving. I do not drive on the interstate.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

pete24 said:


> :idea:idea:idea Completely forgot about them. I set my profile to no when it asked will you date single mother's so they don't show up on searches.
> 
> The single mother vulture - Dating sites are filled with creature's of this breed. Often when lovestruck before the age of 20, they make the rash decision of having children with someone they met on a drunken night out. Once the "true love" soon end's, the vulture is left to a full time job of looking after the kids and being paid in benefit's by the state. They often pop up on dating site's in huge numbers with their claws ready to tear into anything that moves as they look for someone to help with their mistake. Unsuspecting guy's that take the bait will be constantly reminded that the children mean more to them than a relationship ever will, and unless the guy takes on the burden, the vulture will be back roaming the wastelands before long.
> 
> Way too true


Lol!


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Sindelle said:


> No money. No job. I don't know anyone anywhere else. I'd move in with a boyfriend if he wanted me to, but he'd have to come and get me I'm afraid.
> 
> I have a severe phobia of driving. I do not drive on the interstate.


So how are you supporting yourself?


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

CopadoMexicano said:


> Lol!


Well at least I don't have kids. Maybe that would make me more desirable?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Pete24 has a kid so he can't really talk about single mothers.


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

komorikun said:


> So how are you supporting yourself?


I'm able to drive on regular roads. I am a student. I go to class.

When my anxiety is too bad my grandmother drives me. I did not learn to drive until I was 26. Yeah it's pathetic I know


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Sindelle said:


> I'm able to drive on regular roads. I am a student. I go to class.
> 
> When my anxiety is too bad my grandmother drives me. I did not learn to drive until I was 26. Yeah it's pathetic I know


I don't how to drive either but I need to learn pretty soon. So don't worry about it. I was living in places where driving is not necessary.

Maybe once you graduate you should move to a city that has good public transit. Those types of places usually have lots of non-religious and nerdy people. You can research cities on this site:

http://www.city-data.com/forum/


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## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

Sindelle said:


> Eh, if they were willing to date me I'd go for it! Hit me up guys! haha


Would love to play some online videogames with you if you're up for it! :teeth


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

Metalunatic said:


> Would love to play some online videogames with you if you're up for it! :teeth


haha sure thing.

I play Neverwinter, World of Warcraft and Guild Wars 2. PM me and I'll add you as a friend on those (if you play them).


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## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

Sindelle said:


> haha sure thing.
> 
> I play Neverwinter, World of Warcraft and Guild Wars 2. PM me and I'll add you as a friend on those (if you play them).


Oh it's been about a year and a half since I played WoW. If you want to send me a Scroll of Resurrection (if they still have those), go right ahead. Then again, Neverwinter also seems like a fun MMO, and since I loved both Neverwinter Nights games, i'd like to try that one too. As for GW, played the first one, but never tried the second, so that's currently not an option, since I guess you have to buy the game first. Which would you say was more fun; WoW or NW?


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

Metalunatic said:


> Oh it's been about a year and a half since I played WoW. If you want to send me a Scroll of Resurrection (if they still have those), go right ahead. Then again, Neverwinter also seems like a fun MMO, and since I loved both Neverwinter Nights games, i'd like to try that one too. As for GW, played the first one, but never tried the second, so that's currently not an option, since I guess you have to buy the game first. Which would you say was more fun; WoW or NW?


They are too different to really compare. NW is fast paced and free though. I like it since I'm rather obsessed with Forgotten Realms.


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## UndreamingAwake (Apr 11, 2011)

Sindelle said:


> They are too different to really compare. NW is fast paced and free though. I like it since I'm rather obsessed with Forgotten Realms.


Well, the Realms _are_ the most fun setting in all of D&D, followed by Planescape (imo anyway). Let's give NW a shot then.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

komorikun said:


> Pete24 has a kid so he can't really talk about single mothers.


Different circumstances. As we went through before. I was treated like dirt, it was a controlling relationship, I wasnt allowed to chat to any girl, wasnt even allowed to go to the pub (because she thought someone would steal me off her). When I tried ending it she said she was going to crash her car and kill herself. Out of guilt I took her back.

She went off the pill behind my back (To try and get pregnant in the hope it would keep us together as she knew I was close to walking for good), then when she revealed shes pregnant, had already decided to keep it.

I was given an ultimatum of leaving my terminally ill mother (Who I care for) to move 100 miles away and live with her, or i'm to never contact her again. I walked away, left her for good. Week's later she came crawling, said its fine we aint together but wanted to talk about the kid. All was fine... Until I found a new GF... Then she blocked me, didnt put me on birth cert and our last contact was her telling me to do everyone a favour and jump off a cliff.

She made up bullcrap to her friends, saying she ended it because i'm a waste of space, which lead to them finding me on FB, messaging me abuse and even finding GF's I have had to send abuse their way.

All this and she managed to get in touch with my mum behind my back and take advantage of her disease that basically is decaying my mothers brain. She stirred up things, and for a while had contact with my mother about the kid (Knowing my mum is too ill to travel 100 miles and visit the kid). Her plan worked and it caused a lot of grief in the family. As soon as that girl got over me she stopped manipulating my mother, cut all contact with her (Which has made her illness a lot worse).

That girl has a lot of cash, she would use the best solicitors to fight in court, plus her close friends would make my life a misery. I didn't want the kid, now thanks to the situation, it's partly the reason why some of the best relationships I had failed (The girl's couldnt take the constant nasty messages off this ex's friend's) and it's put strain on my mum and made her worse. So it's not your usual situation.

*Sorry to others for the derail rant, just really annoy's me*

So yup, when it comes to things I don't have a child, and I wouldn't touch "The horror movie star/The dunce", "The Study freak", "the clubbing tart" or "The single mother vulture" with an 80 foot, silver shining barge pole.


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

pete24 said:


> Different circumstances. As we went through before. I was treated like dirt, it was a controlling relationship, I wasnt allowed to chat to any girl, wasnt even allowed to go to the pub (because she thought someone would steal me off her). When I tried ending it she said she was going to crash her car and kill herself. Out of guilt I took her back.
> 
> She went off the pill behind my back (To try and get pregnant in the hope it would keep us together as she knew I was close to walking for good), then when she revealed shes pregnant, had already decided to keep it.
> 
> ...


It's annoying how men will date a psycho like this (usually because she is "hot") but women like me are constantly passed over and ignored completely usually due to not living up to men's standards of "hotness". Than they proceed to blame all women and hate on us because they think that is what all women are.


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

hi...iv never been on a dating website,so I don't know what men are looking for there, but if you want a date id be up for it cept u b in the US an im not...lol


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

blue2 said:


> hi...iv never been on a dating website,so I don't know what men are looking for there, but if you want a date id be up for it cept u b in the US an im not...lol


Seems like nobody awesome is ever where I'm at -_-


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## blue2 (May 20, 2013)

ok..you think im awesome, so that's good...anyway your awesome too...


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

blue2 said:


> ok..you think im awesome, so that's good...anyway your awesome too...


Thanks I'm glad some one thinks I am.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

Sindelle said:


> It's annoying how men will date a psycho like this (usually because she is "hot") but women like me are constantly passed over and ignored completely usually due to not living up to men's standards of "hotness". Than they proceed to blame all women and hate on us because they think that is what all women are.


The sad thing about her is she wasnt even remotely hot. That was the 1 time I let standards drop because she does have a great personality.... Although, once in a relationship the personality changes. Says it all when I heard that since me she's tried relationships with 6 other guys. Each of them walked away soon after getting with her.

The thing I always say is no matter what you look like, theres someone out there for anyone.

"Hot" people are just stereotypes. People think hot is a women with huge boobs, model type face and body, or a guy with a nice body and manly but cute face.

In reality though, some guy/girl me, you or anyone else finds hot or ugly could be the opposite to someone else.

I always have an open mind with online dating, however when women I don't necessarily find attractive (but think have a good personality) ignore my messages (as they have gained an ego and only reply to "hot" guy's above their standards), I get the belief of why should I carry on being shot down by women that I give the benefit of the doubt to. I'd rather be shot down by women that I like both the look and personality of.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Sindelle said:


> I'm getting tired of dating sites to be honest, but I have no idea what else to do. Where would be some places to meet men?


The opera.


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## namebn (Mar 12, 2013)

Sindelle said:


> Eh, if they were willing to date me I'd go for it! Hit me up guys! haha


i'd apply for the position, if it weren't for the hundreds of miles between us.


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

namebn said:


> i'd apply for the position, if it weren't for the hundreds of miles between us.


Aww..


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## Alone75 (Jul 29, 2013)

A lot of guys on dating sites seem lonely and want a real relationship, women are suspicious though that they're just after sex. I can understand that, but it makes it harder to connect and get anywhere for the genuine guys.


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

ZeroPoint said:


> A lot of guys on dating sites seem lonely and want a real relationship, women are suspicious though that they're just after sex. I can understand that, but it makes it harder to connect and get anywhere for the genuine guys.


I have a hard time telling thie difference. So many guys seemed genuine at first only to basically dump me when they see that I'm not easy.


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## Sacrieur (Jan 14, 2013)

They're desperate, is all.


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## Alone75 (Jul 29, 2013)

Sindelle said:


> I have a hard time telling thie difference. So many guys seemed genuine at first only to basically dump me when they see that I'm not easy.


Well they're not worth your time then, not all the guys will be like that. But the ones that aren't are probably less attractive to you. For serious relationships, dating sites that charge are probably your best bet. Otherwise just keep trying and racking up the dates until you find someone, who'll be more patient and like you for you instead of wanting sex within the first month or so.


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## Sindelle (Oct 22, 2010)

ZeroPoint said:


> Well they're not worth your time then, not all the guys will be like that. But the ones that aren't are probably less attractive to you. For serious relationships, dating sites that charge are probably your best bet. Otherwise just keep trying and racking up the dates until you find someone, who'll be more patient and like you for you instead of wanting sex within the first month or so.


I dunno I usually reply to everyone who is near my age. I won't reply to someone who is old enough to be my dad. I also usually don't reply to people who can't construct basic sentences.

So many guys around here are fundamentalist Christian ******** though. >.<


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## Lottoman (Nov 9, 2010)

Contrary to popular belief most men on dating sites, at bars, or in clubs aren’t sex hounds looking for an easy lay. There are a myriad of reasons as to why some people don’t call back for a second date. Maybe they felt there wasn’t any chemistry or thought the person was more friend material rather than romantic, they might have been turned off by date’s personality or worldviews, they got back with an ex or decided to explore their options with other potential dates, they didn’t share that many common interests, they were anxious or intimidated or just got out of a bad break-up and were not completely ready for another relationship, etc. 

Unfortunately, dating is a big gamble for some more than others. You might have to go on dates with a hundred people before you find someone your actually compatible with. For, the OP I would suggest trying out different dating sites or looking for a local place where people gather and partake in/talk about geeky hobbies.


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