# Using a catheter to treat shy bladder/paruesis?



## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

So i have a pretty bad case of shy bladder syndrome which is one of the main causes of my SA. I dont really go out to social events because of it as drinking alcohol makes it worse, but drinking is a big part of the social culture in this country. And i need alcohol to help me open up, but at the same time it makes me more anxious as i am worrying about needing to piss. Its a double edged sword for me. And I cant even go in the cubicle if theres people around. I've recently started feeling i need to start going out again and try and build a social life, get a gf....etc, but this problem always gets in the way. Infact i got invited to a party last night which i didnt end up going to as i was so worried about being able to use the toilet 

Anyway, ive tried CBT, medication, hypnosis....etc, to treat this shy bladder problem but none of it worked. Now i feel my only option now is to use a catheter for emergency situations were i cant go (and believe me, ive been in some VERY uncomfortable situations because of it). I obviously dont want to have to use a catheter as i hear they can be uncomfortable to use and im worried about someone finding/seeing it, but i feel its my only chance left. And i feel that it could make me more confident about going out, knowing that i will be able to go no matter what with a cathter and dont have that to worry about. So the discomfort could be worth it.


So does anyone here have any experiences of using catheters? If so, what is it like?

Or does anyone have anything else to add on this subject?


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## Anemone (Apr 12, 2011)

I have had a catheter before and it was pretty f***ing uncomfortable but I'm a woman so I dunno how it is for men lol...


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## Brightpaperwarewolf (Oct 16, 2008)

Jesus, when I was going through chemo, I had a catheter that was connected to a bag of piss. Could you imagine just being, having this bag of piss wrapped to your leg? I doubt you want that!!!!

Definitely not the solution for shy bladder!!! I used to have it, the best thing to do is to take your mind away. Count 1, it doesn't matter if it takes a while, the more you do it, the more it'll give you the ability to let go. Takes some practice.


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## macaw (Sep 6, 2010)

I don't think that's gonna get rid of the problem. You're better off buying something like this, at least then you wouldn't be inserting something uncomfortable into your body.


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## Duke of Prunes (Jul 20, 2009)

If you like the feeling of having a pointy tube shoved up your peehole and possibly bladder infections, by all means.


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## lanzman (Jun 14, 2004)

Hey Nemesis, have you tried the breath hold technique?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KWRPBP_3F0


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## UltraShy (Nov 8, 2003)

I don't know. I've never actually heard of any treatment for shy bladder. In the US we're subjected to endless TV ads for drugs to treat the opposite problem of folks who simply can't stop leaking.

You're clearly quite desperate when shoving a hose up your penis is sounding like the only answer. This makes me wonder if others actually have done that and you read of it or if this is something you came up with on your own.


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## JimmyDeansRetartedCousin (Nov 28, 2009)

Catheter would be a last choice, google pelvic floor exercises. And try and manage the problem through gradual exposure.


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## Arrested Development (Jun 3, 2010)

But wouldn't you still have the same problem of finding a place to go where there isn't people, and worry about getting caught standing there with a funny look on your face? Plus, lugging a bag of urine around, no matter how briefly, leaves open the potential for some fairly embarrassing moments. Eh, I am fairly paranoid and clumsy so I couldn't do that. I usually plug my ears and for whatever reason that helps me go lol


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## Giraffe (Sep 7, 2010)

As you consider possible treatments, know that catheters can kind of mutilate your urethra.


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

I wouldn't recommend a catheter, it would only make your condition worse as you would relinquish all control of your bladder, very bad idea.
There are other methods you should definitely try. I mean honestly, who wants to smell of piss? I can't imagine anyone willingly wearing one unless it's completely necessary, like after an operation or having major incontinence due to age or illness. 
Conquer your fear of toilets any way you can, just keep trying.


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Thanks for the replies.

Well first of all, im not planning on having it in me all the time, nor will i be carrying a bag of piss around with me. I will just carry a sterile tube in my pocket to use for emergencies.

Also i vaguely remember trying that breath hold technique a few times some years ago and it didnt really work for me, maybe i should try again.

And as i mentioned in the first post, this IS my last resort. I certainly dont want to have to stick a tube up my penis everytime i want to piss when theres people around, but i really have no other options left :stu


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## dim (Apr 21, 2011)

You seem to have tried everything, have u tried going to a toilet but telling yourself if you can't go then try again an hour later? Once I couldn't even do it in a mall cubicle(at that time I was avoiding my workplace toilet so my second option wasn't working),:afr and I told myself I'll try again in an hour and managed to use my work's toilet. I even told myself if I'd have to quit the job I would which maybe made me accept my problem and reduced my anxiety.


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## silvercobra101 (Mar 25, 2010)

A catheter seems kind of extreme for this. I mean, theoretically you can just train yourself to wait longer. I had a problem with this for a long time, and after a while I learned I could just wait the whole day before really having to go. And worst case would be to just drink less when in public. 

But social drinking would pose a problem. What I used to do is to sit in the stall (or cubicle as you call them in the UK), and just wait until everyone leaves the restroom before going. 

In my case, I got over it enough to use the stall even in a crowded restroom. It helped me to visualize the stall as my own little world, and everthing outside of the walls as being nonexistent to me. If I can't use a stall, I will simply leave the restroom and see if I can find another or wait until no one is using it.

Anyway, your problem sounds a little more severe than mine. If you do end up doing something a little more extreme, why not check into Depends or some other adult diapers they sell for people with incontinence? That would be a lot less uncomfortable, and people apparently use them all the time. My guess is that you would never need it, since the added security would allow you to relax.


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## Pityu (May 21, 2011)

Don't recommend it. But if you do, be very careful about hygiene. You need sterile gloves, antibacterial lubricant, etc. But that procedure is too complicated to do it in a pub or elsewhere. You can get infection easily, as I've heard.

By the way, you're not alone with this problem, I have a shy bladder too, but I thought it was SA that trigered it. I am too tight and fearful in public to relax and let the urine go. Are you sure it was this bladder issue that started SA for you?


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## Monaozzlynn2 (Mar 24, 2016)

Please educate yourselves people first of all self catheterizing is not that bad you do not use a foley indwelling catheter that stays in there is no leg bag full of pee those are the kind in a hospital self catheterizing you use disposable catheters that you put in and drain your bladder then throw away they are only in you for as long as it takes to drain your bladder so please don't scare this person thinking they will have a catheter inside their urethra al the time and a bag of piss on their leg lots of people self cath and its not as bad as you think they are alot smaller then indwelling catheters and lots of people with shy bladder self cath no one would even know you go into the bathroom make sure you wash your hands and your genitals and as long as you are clean theres little risk of infection because it doesnt stay inside you just youtube or google intermittent self catheter it takes about a minute longer than if you were to pee regularly so please stop telling people they will have a bag of pee attached to them thats not what you use for self cathing just make sure you get a medical person like a nurse who is educated in self catheterization to show you how to do it the first couple times it might seem a little uncomfortable but you will get used to it and it will be easy and you shouldnt feel any pain remember its only inside you for the time it takes you to pee then you take it out and throw it away most come pre packagedin lubricant and with all the stuff you will need and it will make your life much easier the hardest part is getting over the anxiety in your mind about but its not anything dreadful or excruciating the ones at hospitals called foley indwelling catheters can be a bit painful and uncomfortable because they stay inside you by having a balloon inflated inside your bladder so they dont fall out a self cathing catheter is just a small thin tube and you insert and pee and nobody would know unless they watched you or you told them


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## Monaozzlynn2 (Mar 24, 2016)

self cathing is not a painful thing and you most certainly can do it in a pub restroom they sell single use catheters that come ppre packaged in lubricant with all the stuff you need and it takes as long as washing your hands and cleaning your penis and then opening the package and inserting the catheter draining your bladder removing the catheter and throwing it away please do not listen to people who don't know what they are talking about there is alot of people with shy bladder and many other medical issues that self catheterize and once you do it a couple times after being taught how you wont even notice it anymore it should not be painful if it is you need to see a urologist because you would have another problem that is causing it to hurt it is not a big deal to self cath and you will get your life back and be able to travel and go to parties don't get worried about all the horror stories on the internet and get anxious about everyone telling u its painful and uncomfortable because they had a catheter in the hospital remember thats a different type of catheter ypu do not have a leg bag with a self catheter it goes in and comes out in under 4 minutes and you can do it pretty much anywhere as long as its not a bathroom thats covered in **** and super dirty just use proper hygiene learn how to do it from a medical professional that is trained in self catheterization and talk to other people that self catheterize and you will be fine and glad you did it because it is very dangerous to hold your pee in your bladder that can cause serious problems and even death so make sure you educate yourself and find a nurse to show you how to do it properly and after a week you will get the hang of it and figure out how the best and easiest way for you is and it will be just like brushing your teeth good luck and i hope you make the right decision for you and are able to do all the things in life you had to put on hold if you want to talk to people find some groups and forums about MS and google and youtube self catheterization theres alot of great info online but do not get scared by reading stuff from people who are uneducated about this practice of self cathing they do not know what they are talking about good luck and god bless


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## Monaozzlynn2 (Mar 24, 2016)

UltraShy said:


> I don't know. I've never actually heard of any treatment for shy bladder. In the US we're subjected to endless TV ads for drugs to treat the opposite problem of folks who simply can't stop leaking.
> 
> You're clearly quite desperate when shoving a hose up your penis is sounding like the only answer. This makes me wonder if others actually have done that and you read of it or if this is something you came up with on your own.


yes lots of people self catheterize please educate yourselves it is not that bad and is easy to do just make sure you learn from a medical professional trained in self catheterization there are many people with shy bladder among other medical issues that have to self cath it is nothing like an indwelling foley catheter that they use in hospitals that stay inside you use proper hygiene and get the disposable self catheters that come packaged in lubricant the hydrophilic ones are best but theres a ton of kinds so try out a bunch until you find the one best suited for you remember it is not that bad once you find the best catheter for you and learn to do it its no worse than brushing your teeth it takes about a minute to 2 minutes longer than it takes to pee without a catheter


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## Monaozzlynn2 (Mar 24, 2016)

Pityu said:


> Don't recommend it. But if you do, be very careful about hygiene. You need sterile gloves, antibacterial lubricant, etc. But that procedure is too complicated to do it in a pub or elsewhere. You can get infection easily, as I've heard.
> 
> By the way, you're not alone with this problem, I have a shy bladder too, but I thought it was SA that trigered it. I am too tight and fearful in public to relax and let the urine go. Are you sure it was this bladder issue that started SA for you?


yes you can easily do it in a pub or public restroom as long as you use proper hygiene and you learn how to cath properly it is simple and easy and quick just google and youtube intermittent self catheterization most of the self catheters come in a package with everything you need and it takes about 2 minutes longer than peeing without a catheter and you will be glad to have your life back and do things you werent able to before it should not be painful and if it is there is another issue you need to get checked it might be a tad bit uncomfy the first few times but once you get the hang of it it will be a piece of cake


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## Monaozzlynn2 (Mar 24, 2016)

Arrested Development said:


> But wouldn't you still have the same problem of finding a place to go where there isn't people, and worry about getting caught standing there with a funny look on your face? Plus, lugging a bag of urine around, no matter how briefly, leaves open the potential for some fairly embarrassing moments. Eh, I am fairly paranoid and clumsy so I couldn't do that. I usually plug my ears and for whatever reason that helps me go lol


self catheters do not have a bag they are one time use disposable catheters that go in and drain ur bladder then come out and you throw them away they are very different than the ones at a hospital there are many people who self catheterize it is not that bad and would def help with having to pee when out at a party or pub or on a trip self cathing should not hurt if it does you need to get checked for another issue causing the pain the self catheters come pre packaged with everything you will need just make sure you get taught by a nurse or medical professional trained in self catheterization do not use the same catheter over and over they sell lots of different types of one time use self catheters once you get over the fear in your head and you have learned and done it a few times it will just become natural and you will be able to do it faster than some people pee naturally


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

I don't know. I just say grin and bear it.

Do I really want a bag leaking and then having to explain why it leaked?


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## VeryLoco (Mar 23, 2014)

This sounds almost as severe as mine. Ive had to leave several nightclubs/parties because I was just unable to pee even in the cubicles. This really power ups my SA, as I find it even harder to relax, its really a nightmare. I dont think a cathersis is the solution tho, I would feel weird sticking that **** in my penis anyways. I guess we are just destined to not having a social life, at least alcohol numbs up my SA but with this its just impossible to have fun in a social setting.

Sorry if this sounded too depressing, Ive also tried everything to no avail...


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