# Past Sexual Partners



## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

*Past Sexual Partners Poll*

This poll is anonymous.

So far the results (with 121 votes in):










More women than men prefer someone with fewer sexual partners. How interesting. :b


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## andy1984 (Aug 18, 2006)

poll you say?

*edit*

now i see it. its none of my business really, everyone has a history.


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

It doesn't really matter to me if I liked the person enough, as long as I trusted them I don't think their sexual history matters that much, and I don't think I'd ever be inclined to ask.


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## Valtron (Jul 6, 2013)

I think at my age, having over 4-5 partners seems like a lot. Because, realistically, if they've had that many, they're probably extroverted and really social, which means we wouldn't be that compatible. When I was younger, I use to think I'd get jealous if they've had other partners. But now, all things considered, I realize it might be a good thing, as they can take the lead for the first couple of times. It's unrealistic to expect someone college-age to still be a virgin.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Valtron said:


> I think at my age, having over 4-5 partners seems like a lot. Because, realistically, if they've had that many, they're probably extroverted and really social, which means we wouldn't be that compatible. When I was younger, I use to think I'd get jealous if they've had other partners. But now, all things considered, I realize it might be a good thing, as they can take the lead for the first couple of times. It's unrealistic to expect someone college-age to still be a virgin.


How old are you?


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## Valtron (Jul 6, 2013)

mezzoforte said:


> How old are you?


I'm 19.


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## Beingofglass (May 5, 2013)

Ideally, I would want a woman to have less than 5-6 partners in her life, because that usually Means she values herself somewhat and have fewer issues.

...But knowing women, and how much they lie about this, that sounds like it's impossible. So really, I've just decided that I have no choice but to not care about her number.


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## RelinquishedHell (Apr 10, 2012)

Charmander said:


> It doesn't really matter to me if I liked the person enough, as long as I trusted them I don't think their sexual history matters that much, and I don't think I'd ever be inclined to ask.


Idk, I'd be wondering what someone's deal is if they had over 40. Unless your a pornstar then that is pretty excessive.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

No more than 1 girl or he is a * and would sleep with every girl in the future which he could run after and catch.. Loose pants.. I have been with 0 guy and I have high standards with guys. I don't want him to sleep with everyone, no moral guys are not worth it.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

SnowFlakesFire said:


> No more than 1 girl or he is a * and would sleep with every girl in the future which he could run after and catch..



Aren't you in your 30s? Most people have more than 1 relationship by then, especially if they don't have SA.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

mezzoforte said:


> Aren't you in your 30s? Most people have more than 1 relationship by then, especially if they don't have SA.


Yes I am. It asked about sexual partners, not about rls. Those are 2 different things.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

SnowFlakesFire said:


> Yes I am. It asked about sexual partners, not about rls. Those are 2 different things.


Well most people have sex when they're in a relationship with someone, and someone in their 30s has usually had more than 1 relationship. I'm sure you can still find someone though...I've seen some guys on SAS that are 30+ and have had 0-1 partners.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

mezzoforte said:


> Well most people have sex when they're in a relationship with someone, and someone in their 30s has usually had more than 1 relationship. I'm sure you can still find someone though...I've seen some guys on SAS that are 30+ and have had 0-1 partners.


It is their fault then, if they are such poor moraled and share their intimate parts so fast and easily :roll

You can have them all, I don't want them


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## Lazercarp1 (Jul 2, 2013)

I'd trust a woman irrespective of how many people she's slept with in the past tbh I'm generally very trusting in relationships and don't really get jealous at all


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## Valtron (Jul 6, 2013)

It's not so much about trust, it's just that I have to question _how_ they got that many partners. Do they like to pick up chicks from bars/parties? Have they had a ton of girlfriends? Do they bang a lot of prostitutes? I think it says something about them, as a person.


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## SADodger (Jul 19, 2013)

I wouldn't dream of asking a woman how many sexual partners they have had. It's like asking them if they are a ****


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## MoniqueS (Feb 21, 2011)

I do not want to be judged for my number, so I don't think it would be fair to judge someone else for their number. However, I want to be in a monogamous and committed relationship and if they have slept with over 40 people, I would question if they share the same sentiment. I think it truly just comes down to the individual person and situation. If I met someone with an extremely sexually active past, I would at least be willing to hear why they feel ready to be monogamous now.


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

FoundAndLost said:


> Idk, I'd be wondering what someone's deal is if they had over 40. Unless your a pornstar then that is pretty excessive.


That's true. 
I just don't get why people would even bring it up unless they were just joking about bad experiences they'd had.
And if someone was bragging about sleeping with more than 40 they probably wouldn't even be in a r/ship.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

I wouldn't ask my partner how many sexual partners they'd had. I like to think there are other ways I can figure out whether he is or isn't trustworthy rather than to ask for "their number." I also think I might feel uncomfortable knowing; like I'm competing to be better than the other girls. What should matter is the present, the two of you and not the past 5/20/50 the person was with.


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

1

F***!


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

It depends on their age. I voted 20-40, but there are explanations for everything, so I wouldn't let it determine his trustworthiness. Although, I do think anything over 20 is a lot... Like, ****, you couldn't get a steady partner/FWB?


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## ohgodits2014 (Mar 18, 2011)

Beggars can't be choosers. But I honestly don't care. And it puzzles me that anyone would let's a person's sexual history completely change their view of that person. If you've already liked someone and gotten along just fine, it's suddenly a deal-breaker that they've slept with X number of people? 

I guess I can see how this would matter when you're barely out of your teens and sex is still a new thing in your life, but otherwise it's just pretty bizarre.


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## pineapplebun (Oct 25, 2011)

Ideally I would actually want a guy who is somewhat sexually experienced (having one sexual partner from a previous relationship is enough to fulfill this). But I love it when they are inexperienced enough, where there are sexual adventures they have yet to explore, so it's like something we can share together. I'm somewhat conflicted on this though. Personally, I would find it unattractive if a guy at my age had over 10+ sexual partners in a way. However, logically, I don't necessarily think it determines trustworthiness because there's nothing innately wrong with having multiple sexual partners while single, as long as no one's emotions are being played. You could have had only one sexual partner before, but be a cheater, which is a definite deal breaker to me. I think the number of serious relationships would be more indicative of trustworthiness. A guy at my age whose had 10 relationships fail would signal a red flag to me - he is the common denominator, so what about him is it that he can't keep a girl? I'd be more inclined to know what their behaviour was like in previous relationships since that would seem to indicate trustworthiness more, as in the ability to remain committed long-term (emotionally and physically).

What bothers me though are guys who somehow judge a girl negatively for not being a virgin.


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## ravagingthemassacred (Aug 2, 2011)

I said 2. My ideal would be zero. If I ever were to want a relationship with someone, they would have to be very similar to me, in being estranged from humanity, odd, broken; and we would then create our own insular world together.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

ravagingthemassacred said:


> If I ever were to want a relationship with someone, they would have to be very similar to me, in being estranged from humanity, odd, broken; and we would then create our own insular world together.


:yes That's sounds sweet. And same, I just want someone who's like me. Although I've had two sexual partners, I can count the number of times I've ever had sex on one hand - so I don't see how there's anything wrong with preferring a partner who is also inexperienced.


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## Jig210 (Jan 24, 2013)

Need an age for this. Most of the people posting/voting are in there 20's so the higher numbers are kind scary to them. But if you are in your 30's or 40's then the 40+ isn't so bad. For some at least. 

As for me, I really don't ask for a number when it comes to past sexual partners. Just have a quick chit chat regarding Std's and if they have any crazy ones that are going to show up at my doorstep at some point.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

It doesn't matter to me and I would not ask. I don't want to know. It would just make me jealous. And if they asked my number, I wouldn't tell them either.

If I were to somehow find out, I guess I don't like guys who have had many short relationships (less than 6 months). That's a question on some of the dating sites. I find it odd. One night stands are okay though as I've slept with a lot of guys and have no problems with being monogamous. 

What I can't stand are guys who are good friends with women they've slept with before. I'm not cool with that at all. I don't want to meet any of the women they've ever banged. Some guys bang a lot of women in their social circle and remain chummy with them. Then you end up having to meet them if you meet their friends. Meanwhile you might not know but everyone else knows......Yuck!!

All my exes are not even living on the same continent as me and I don't keep in touch with them much at all. I don't remain chummy with guys I have banged either. If I were to date a guy, he'd never meet or accidentally bump into any of them.


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## Everton (Jul 15, 2013)

rednosereindeer said:


> Beggars can't be choosers. But I honestly don't care. And it puzzles me that anyone would let's a person's sexual history completely change their view of that person. If you've already liked someone and gotten along just fine, it's suddenly a deal-breaker that they've slept with X number of people?
> 
> I guess I can see how this would matter when you're barely out of your teens and sex is still a new thing in your life, but otherwise it's just pretty bizarre.


Imagine walking round town with your GF and every man has banged her :no


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

6-9 for me is probably too many. 

I'd rather not know but if I had to know and they said more than 5, I would be seriously put off. A few times I had been drunk and asked and felt crappy when the 1's I asked said over 15 or over 20.

I shouldnt really mind because my number could well be double the top end of that (around 20), but it's something I keep questioning in my head if they tell me and it's more than 5


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## awkwardsilent (Jun 14, 2012)

rednosereindeer said:


> Beggars can't be choosers. But I honestly don't care. And it puzzles me that anyone would let's a person's sexual history completely change their view of that person. If you've already liked someone and gotten along just fine, it's suddenly a deal-breaker that they've slept with X number of people?
> 
> I guess I can see how this would matter when you're barely out of your teens and sex is still a new thing in your life, but otherwise it's just pretty bizarre.


This! At my age anyhow (in my 30's ) if you are still single and in your 30's its sort of expected that you've had afew partners. I'm on the low side of the spectrum I think. I wouldn't judge a guy for his past...whose to say if I was super hot, I wouldn't have had more partners. *shrugs*


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

pete24 said:


> 6-9 for me is probably too many.
> 
> I'd rather not know but if I had to know and they said more than 5, I would be seriously put off. A few times I had been drunk and asked and felt crappy when the 1's I asked said over 15 or over 20.
> 
> I shouldnt really mind because my number could well be double the top end of that (around 20), but it's something I keep questioning in my head if they tell me and it's more than 5


You've had at least 20 partners, but it wouldn't be okay for the girl to have more than five? :sus


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

HustleRose said:


> You've had at least 20 partners, but it wouldn't be okay for the girl to have more than five? :sus


Pretty much, I know my reasons why my number is so high. Apart from a few times, most were with people I was in a relationship with. The relationships were short lived due to a number of reasons. Most of the time it was distance, we didnt get enough time together and work didnt help things so no point being together when we rarely had time together. Other times it was because my SA ruined the relationship. Which are logical reasons.

In most peoples circumstances however, theres more sinister reasons as to why their numbers are high. Such as getting bored easily or sleeping with anyone who offers.

If I had to know how many they had been with, 5 or less would probably be because they didnt just rush into sex with anyone and chances are they were with people in long term relationships that lasted a while. So that will give a better chance of the relationship working as they would probably only get with me if they genuinely liked me.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

What does it mean if in every relationship the person was the dumpee rather than the dumper?


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

komorikun said:


> What does it mean if in every relationship the person was the dumpee rather than the dumper?


Probably questionable still, you have to ask... why were they dumped? If they had so many relationships and that many people kept dumping them, then its more than likely it's because of them... Could be they have too many issues or are not suited to being in relationships and I would rather not waste 6 months with them to find out them things.

SA could be branded an issue but I would call it a way of life rather than an issue. It's the same as someone who has blonde hair, someone with blue eyes... They were born that way.

Someone with issues such as trust issues, who cant sustain a relationship, probably picked up that issue at some point in life and if they are always the dumpee, they shouldn't be in a relationship until they have learnt to get through the trust issues.

I would say I would happily get with someone who has slept with more than 5 people if they had SA and SA was the main reason things didnt work, however taking in consideration the low % of people with SA, it's highly unlikely I would meet someone who also has that problem.


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## BobbyByThePound (Apr 4, 2012)

I put "I am female and had over 40." Don't trust anonymous polls.


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

pete24 said:


> Pretty much, I know my reasons why my number is so high. Apart from a few times, most were with people I was in a relationship with. The relationships were short lived due to a number of reasons. Most of the time it was distance, we didnt get enough time together and work didnt help things so no point being together when we rarely had time together. Other times it was because my SA ruined the relationship. Which are logical reasons.
> 
> In most peoples circumstances however, theres more sinister reasons as to why their numbers are high. Such as getting bored easily or sleeping with anyone who offers.
> 
> If I had to know how many they had been with, 5 or less would probably be because they didnt just rush into sex with anyone and chances are they were with people in long term relationships that lasted a while. So that will give a better chance of the relationship working as they would probably only get with me if they genuinely liked me.


Oh, I see. You're basically just a hypocrite. You could have really saved me some time if you'd just written that.


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

10 is where I would like to draw the line, but you never really know for sure. Most normal, desirable women aren't inhibited in this way, so you shouldn't be judgemental. A woman who tells me she had 20+ is, maybe, too honest. I wouldn't want to think about that.

Realistically, in these times of women having lots of random sex, it is better not to ask at all.

(Freaks are a good thing, too, as long as she isn't nasty with everybody.)


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

HustleRose said:


> Oh, I see. You're basically just a hypocrite. You could have really saved me some time if you'd just written that.


Far from it.

I have been in a fair few physical relationships. In all but 1 or 2 I was dumped. Either distance was the issue or in most cases, my social anxiety meant we didnt do as many social things and they realised im probably not the guy for them. SA is something that it seems like i'll have all my life... so what do I do? Stay single forever and miss a chance with someone who possibly doesnt care that I have SA.

SA doesnt effect many people. What would you say?? 1% of the world suffer from SA? It's highly unlikely, if not impossible that I will ever have a girlfriend who has SA too.

Whereas if I met a girl who has had many sexual partners it 99% means its either because shes easy and sleeps around (not my type), she get's bored easily and finds it hard to settle in a relationship or she has so many issues people get fed up of it and cant feel settled with her.

If it's the latter 2, then whats the point of me wasting 6 months of my life with her and more than likely have the relationship fail, when I could meet someone in that time who perhaps I could give it a proper go with and have an increased chance of making things work.

Not hypocritical... More about trying to increase chances of settling down


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

pete24 said:


> Far from it.
> 
> I have been in a fair few physical relationships. In all but 1 or 2 I was dumped. Either distance was the issue or in most cases, my social anxiety meant we didnt do as many social things and they realised im probably not the guy for them. SA is something that it seems like i'll have all my life... so what do I do? Stay single forever and miss a chance with someone who possibly doesnt care that I have SA.
> 
> ...


It _is_ hypocritical because you're making up excuses for yourself, yet you're not lenient to hear hers. The reason why a woman has had more than 5 (which is not a lot at all) partners varies the same way. Plus, you have SAD. That automatically makes you a ****ed up person. What makes you think you deserve, in your definition, a healthy woman with a low-number?


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

HustleRose said:


> It _is_ hypocritical because you're making up excuses for yourself, yet you're not lenient to hear hers. The reason why a woman has had more than 5 (which is not a lot at all) partners varies the same way. Plus, you have SAD. That automatically makes you a ****ed up person. What makes you think you deserve, in your definition, a healthy woman with a low-number?


It makes me a ****ed up person because I find it hard to socialise? Not really.

It's not something I can just bring up "oh hey, mind telling me why you have slept with that many people?" until perhaps late on in the relationship, then would she honestly say it's because she enjoys sleeping around or because she get's bored easily? Doubtfully...

The reason I believe I deserve a "healthy" person is because SA is hugely misunderstood. Once I get to know someone Im "normal" but instead of realising SA is a condition, women have just assumed I make excuses to avoid social things because I dont like doing them and so we have less in common that they thought. In reality social things shouldnt matter much because if I settled down and had a family with someone, there would be barely any social aspect of things.

I'm purely limiting my chances of getting hurt or wasting my time with someone where thing's probably wont work out.


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## Nekomata (Feb 3, 2012)

3-5. I really wouldn't consider dating someone if they've done it too many times. Especially compared to my inexperience ><


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

pete24 said:


> It makes me a ****ed up person because I find it hard to socialise? Not really.
> 
> It's not something I can just bring up "oh hey, mind telling me why you have slept with that many people?" until perhaps late on in the relationship, then would she honestly say it's because she enjoys sleeping around or because she get's bored easily? Doubtfully...


And a woman who's had six sexual partners is automatically messed up? Again with the hypocrisy. Tsk tsk.



> The reason I believe I deserve a "healthy" person is *because SA is hugely misunderstood.* Once I get to know someone Im "normal" but instead of realising SA is a condition, women have just assumed I make excuses to avoid social things because I dont like doing them and so we have less in common that they thought. In reality social things shouldnt matter much because if I settled down and had a family with someone, there would be barely any social aspect of things.
> 
> I'm purely limiting my chances of getting hurt or wasting my time with someone where thing's probably wont work out.


Yes, you should be one to talk about misunderstandings. Look, I don't really care. I just wanted to point out that you were being a hypocrite. You can deny it, but the proof is in the pudding (is that how that saying goes? Heh). 
There are various women on this site (and guys) who've had more than five sexual partners and are on the same boat as you. I'm not saying you should start a relationship with one of them, I'm just letting you know that your conceptions about female sexuality are highly inaccurate.

But whatevs.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

Fair enough. The point again was people with SA in the world is probably 1%, it's highly doubtful in my lifetime that I will meet someone with SA. 

Perhaps its just our different views on things, we're different ages by far, we obviously live in different towns or country's. Not to give too much away about my location but I live in a quite busy seaside town, you see women coming down for hen nights and more 1 night stand's than you can shake a stick at. Many strip clubs here and even things as bad as people having a 1 night stand (or 10 minute fling) in some doorway or alley. A lot of women go out intentionally for a 1 night stand with 1 of the many guys that come here every weekend for a stag do. Multiple times I have seen women flashing their boobs in the street.

The town is a true party vibe, you see what Kavos is like? Where everyone has sex with everyone... This town is nearly as bad as that pretty much 7 days a week.

So cant blame me for being sceptical or picky when it comes down to who I would want to try being in a relationship with.


I hardly want to be with someone who says "yea, I have had sex 12 times, 3 of those were in a club doorway, 1 in a telephone box and the rest with guys I got bored with after a few weeks"


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Pete also has a kid that he doesn't see or support financially.


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

^I can't believe it. And the real moral faux pas is having sex. :roll


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

HustleRose said:


> It _is_ hypocritical because you're making up excuses for yourself, yet you're not lenient to hear hers. The reason why a woman has had more than 5 (which is not a lot at all) partners varies the same way. Plus, you have SAD. That automatically makes you a ****ed up person. What makes you think you deserve, in your definition, a healthy woman with a low-number?


Really? Please tell me a good reason for a young woman to have more than 5. :no


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

arnie said:


> Really? Please tell me a good reason for a young woman to have more than 5. :no


'Murica.

edit: Whoa I totally misunderstood this poll when I voted on it. I thought it was asking how many past sexual partners you had.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

I wish I could change my poll vote to 10-19. ><
Now that I think about it I'd reeeeally prefer to date someone who is like me - introverted, preferably socially anxious (so we can relate to eachother), someone that I can learn with sexually. I have a feeling that someone around my age who has had over 20 sexual partners wouldn't have much in common with me anyway...



HustleRose said:


> It _is_ hypocritical because you're making up excuses for yourself, yet you're not lenient to hear hers. *The reason why a woman has had more than 5 (which is not a lot at all) partners varies the same way*. Plus, you have SAD. That automatically makes you a ****ed up person. What makes you think you deserve, in your definition, a healthy woman with a low-number?


What would you consider "a lot" for someone your age?


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

I never counted and I don't really care to. Sex is fun and as long as you're safe about it then it shouldn't matter how many partners you've had.


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## SilentWitness (Dec 27, 2009)

arnie said:


> Really? Please tell me a good reason for a young woman to have more than 5. :no


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## TenYears (Jan 15, 2010)

I'm actually embarrassed to admit how many (few). I've been friends with guys who have slept with as many women in a few weeks as I have in my lifetime.

I'm 43 yrs old.

Can you say "social anxiety"?


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

arnie said:


> Really? Please tell me a good reason for a young woman to have more than 5. :no


There's no "good" reason like there's no "bad" reason. Funny that you specified "young woman." :roll



mezzoforte said:


> What would you consider "a lot" for someone your age?


IDK because I don't talk about it with people, so I'm not sure what's average. It also helps that I don't care to consider it.



SilentWitness said:


>


:yes


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

Do any of you consider the likelihood someone who's had lots of sex partners might also have an std and won't tell you? Or do you just not care?


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

ManOfFewWords said:


> Do any of you consider the likelihood someone who's had lots of sex partners might also have an std and won't tell you? Or do you just not care?


People that haven't had many sexual partners can't catch an STD?

How about using condoms?


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

ManOfFewWords said:


> Do any of you consider the likelihood someone who's had lots of sex partners might also have an std and won't tell you? Or do you just not care?


Apparently not. Next, people will start saying that you shouldn't decide whether or not to date someone based on what or how many STDs they have. :roll

I'd rather not get genital herpes, kthx.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

arnie said:


> Really? Please tell me a good reason for a young woman to have more than 5. :no


You tell me a good reason for a guy to have more than 5


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

SnowFlakesFire said:


> You tell me a good reason for a guy to have more than 5


Nothing wrong with girls having standards too. 

*Results so far with 61 votes in:*

............ (I am a ...)
Partners Male Female 
1-2 ...... 13% 14% 
1-5 ....... 34% 38% 
1-9 ....... 56% 52%


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## StrangePeaches (Sep 8, 2012)

too many


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## Wacky Wednesdays (Apr 10, 2011)

rednosereindeer said:


> Beggars can't be choosers. But I honestly don't care. And it puzzles me that anyone would let's a person's sexual history completely change their view of that person. If you've already liked someone and gotten along just fine, it's suddenly a deal-breaker that they've slept with X number of people?
> 
> I guess I can see how this would matter when you're barely out of your teens and sex is still a new thing in your life, but otherwise it's just pretty bizarre.


Agreed ! My bf has had 6 partners whereas I've had 9. I don't see a problem with it and it pisses me off when he brings it up >.<

What does it matter when you're loyal and in a loving relationship


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

Eh don't care much, lots of people enjoy casual sex and if they are cautious it's safe. I also do not believe that those who enjoy casual sex are automatically lacking in being faithful.


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

TenYears said:


> I'm actually embarrassed to admit how many (few). I've been friends with guys who have slept with as many women in a few weeks as I have in my lifetime.
> 
> I'm 43 yrs old.
> 
> Can you say "social anxiety"?


Don't feel too bad, a friend I knew had sex with 4 women in one night, while I've had none. I'm 23 but still. I regret making that bet because I thought he was bull****ting but he had pics and everything that night. I should have seen it coming because he could pick up women pretty easily


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## Jesuszilla (May 26, 2013)

I admit I would be a little intimidated by a woman with too many partners because my experience is so little I know for a fact she'd be fed up with hpw terrible I am and leave me. Or at least that's what females in my life have said at one point including my sister, cousins and my best friend has said men who lack experience aren't attractive or can really kill their interests in him


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

This is tough for me, because I don't want to be a hypocrite but its so f*cking hard.

I really would rather not know my girlfriends number, because its just opening pandoras box and unnecessary. Once you hear a number, you have to know more details. You cant help it, its natural curiosity, even if you'll _hate_ what you hear.

Even looking at the numbers people have posted on here and the 18 plus group, it makes me look like a sluut. I wouldnt want a girl to judge me for who I have had sex with, because only a couple were anything more than physical and quite frankly some I don't even want to remember.


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

arnie said:


> Nothing wrong with girls having standards too.


Do you think 5 is a limit for guys too?


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## hmnut (Aug 8, 2011)

I honestly don't care how many sexual partners a person has had. 5, 15, 500, 5 million. 

The only questions about a person's sexual past that I care about are.
1. Do you have any STDs?
2. Do you have any children?
3. Are you still involved or plan to become involved with any of your past romantic partners?

The answer 'yes' to any of those is not necessarily a deal breaker for me, but those are the things from a person's sexual past that might directly effect me. 

"But if a person has a lot of sexual partners it speaks to their character."

Yeah... you know what is an even better judge of their character, THEIR CHARACTER. 

If all I've seen them as is a good, kind, fun, compassionate person who I think would be a wonderful life partner, a wonderful parent for my children and a person I want to grow old with, what do I care if 10 years ago they got drunk an had sex with a football stadium of people. 

If I can't judge their character, by the person they are in front of me, then I have much bigger issues than whether or not they have a big sexual past.


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

hmnut said:


> I honestly don't care how many sexual partners a person has had. 5, 15, 500, 5 million.
> 
> The only questions about a person's sexual past that I care about are.
> 1. Do you have any STDs?
> ...


That was a good read that puts some things in perspective even beyond sex. Too often, people with SA judge so harshly because they think that that is how they are being judged.


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

tbyrfan said:


> Apparently not. Next, people will start saying that you shouldn't decide whether or not to date someone based on what or how many STDs they have. :roll
> 
> I'd rather not get genital herpes, kthx.


You do realize you can have sex with just ONE person and get herpes, right? :roll

As for how to avoid being lied about an STD...that's why there are clinics for couples to go together.



hmnut said:


> I honestly don't care how many sexual partners a person has had. 5, 15, 500, 5 million.
> 
> The only questions about a person's sexual past that I care about are.
> 1. Do you have any STDs?
> ...


A****ingmen :clap

I also agree with your list, except if I were older I'd be more lenient with the kid question.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

tbyrfan said:


> Apparently not. Next, people will start saying that you shouldn't decide whether or not to date someone based on what or how many STDs they have. :roll
> 
> I'd rather not get genital herpes, kthx.


Didn't you say you have cold sores?


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

HustleRose said:


> You do realize you can have sex with just ONE person and get herpes, right? :roll
> 
> As for how to avoid being lied about an STD...that's why there are clinics for couples to go together.


No, i'm brain-dead. What do you think? :no

Obviously, but the chances of getting an STD are higher if you sleep with a lot of different people. Common logic.

Someone who has had _any_ number of previous sexual partners should be prepared to take an STD test and show their partner the results (especially if they had many past partners).


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

komorikun said:


> Didn't you say you have cold sores?


They aren't sexually transmitted, i've had them since I was 8 or so. They're oral herpes and not genital herpes. I rarely have breakouts (once every year/few years), and I have medication for them.

I would never kiss my partner or give him oral sex if I had a breakout.

I thought a lot of people had cold sores on their mouth. Something like 75-80% of people will contract them in their lifetime.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

tbyrfan said:


> They aren't sexually transmitted, i've had them since I was 8 or so. They're oral herpes and not genital herpes. I rarely have breakouts (once every year/few years), and I have medication for them.
> 
> I would never kiss my partner or give him oral sex if I had a breakout.


They weren't transmitted to you sexually but they can be sexually transmitted.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

tbyrfan said:


> No, i'm brain-dead. What do you think? :no


Lol, sassy. :heart


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

You're the one who called yourself brain dead and brought on the SASs. Don't play victim now. 

As for the herpes thing, I wasn't making fun of it. I realize a lot of people have oral herpes. I simply thought you shot yourself on the foot with your argument (I'm pretty sure you've only been with one person and, if I'm not mistaken, it's a user from here).


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## Joeality (Mar 31, 2012)

It depends on how you look at it. 

Example boy meets girl, girl is 28 been sexually active since 16 and averaged 1 partner a year = 12. 12 may seem like a lot to some people while 1 partner a year does not. Would 12 seem to make her a "****"?


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

Joeality said:


> It depends on how you look at it.
> 
> Example boy meets girl, girl is 28 been sexually active since 16 and averaged 1 partner a year = 12. 12 may seem like a lot to some people while 1 partner a year does not. Would 12 seem to make her a "****"?


Logic doesn't work on people dead-set on policing a woman's sexuality.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

HustleRose said:


> You're the one who called yourself brain dead and brought on the SASs. Don't play victim now.
> 
> As for the herpes thing, I wasn't making fun of it. I realize a lot of people have oral herpes. I simply thought you shot yourself on the foot with your argument (I'm pretty sure you've only been with one person and, if I'm not mistaken, it's a user from here).


I get defensive when I feel like people are calling me stupid.

Okay. I'm really insecure about it because I think people will label me as having an STD when I don't have any, and it makes me feel disgusting and humiliated when I have to walk around with a bump on my lip that i've had since I was a kid and can practically hear people judging me. Genital herpes seems a lot scarier though. It's a lot more taboo, and much more painful and uncomfortable. Plus, you can still have sex (other than oral) with cold sores, but genital herpes outbreaks leave you out of commission for a couple of weeks until it clears up completely. I'd rather stick with having one small bump on my mouth for 3 days once in a blue moon. And yes, i've been with one person and he is from here.


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

tbyrfan said:


> I get defensive when I feel like people are calling me stupid.


I'm just an ******* with no filter. Don't take it personally.



> Okay. *I'm really insecure about it because I think people will label me as having an STD when I don't have any, and it makes me feel disgusting and humiliated when I have to walk around with a bump on my lip that i've had since I was a kid and can practically hear people judging me.* Genital herpes seems a lot scarier though. It's a lot more taboo, and much more painful and uncomfortable. Plus, you can still have sex (other than oral) with cold sores, but genital herpes outbreaks leave you out of commission for a couple of weeks until it clears up completely. I'd rather stick with having one small bump on my mouth for 3 days once in a blue moon. And yes, i've been with one person and he is from here.


I could imagine, but you're doing more harm than good with the arguments you've been making (especially to yourself; it's like you're basically insulting/shaming yourself). People can get herpes through kissing, sharing utensils and cigarettes, etc, not just by sucking dick/clit. The only difference between oral and genital herpes is the stigma attached to it. It's like having HPV on a finger versus your puss; it's sex what's making it wrong. You're not really dirty or *****ish. It's like giving people the green light to shame people (particularly women) about their sexual history. This is part why I hate the whole "how many partners have you had" general talk; people simply use it to perpetuate inaccurate information and generalizations about others. Augh, people need to stop imposing their morals on others and using the STD argument as evidence of their veracity.


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## riderless (Jul 21, 2013)

let me count 1,2,3..10, 20, 50..
well they seem real to me in wet dreams anyway...


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## Anxietyriddled (Jan 5, 2013)

I couldn't respect a woman who lets herself be a pincushion for all the cocky ******* guys in town sry. A really high number of sexual partners would mean that person likely either wants to screw around for a long time , cant commit, manipulates and uses people or some thing else and I wouldn't feel as comfortable with them as some one else who had a more conservative number.


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## ManOfFewWords (Mar 20, 2012)

HustleRose said:


> You do realize you can have sex with just ONE person and get herpes, right? :roll
> 
> As for how to avoid being lied about an STD...that's why there are clinics for couples to go together.


My paranoia about std's is clouding my logic.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

komorikun said:


> Didn't you say you have cold sores?


Aren't cold sores common? I've had them since I was a kid too.


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## Rainbat (Jan 5, 2012)

They must not have slept with more people than me, because then that makes them cooler than me, and they're not allowed to be cooler than me.

:wink


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## IveGotToast (Jan 1, 2013)

I enjoy having a lot of Eskimo Brothers.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

HustleRose said:


> I could imagine, but you're doing more harm than good with the arguments you've been making (especially to yourself; it's like you're basically insulting/shaming yourself). People can get herpes through kissing, sharing utensils and cigarettes, etc, not just by sucking dick/clit. The only difference between oral and genital herpes is the stigma attached to it. It's like having HPV on a finger versus your puss; it's sex what's making it wrong. You're not really dirty or *****ish. It's like giving people the green light to shame people (particularly women) about their sexual history. This is part why I hate the whole "how many partners have you had" general talk; people simply use it to perpetuate inaccurate information and generalizations about others. Augh, people need to stop imposing their morals on others and using the STD argument as evidence of their veracity.


I'm not shaming myself, since I don't have an STD...don't really get why I would be. I was stating that people with more sex partners are more likely to have had (or currently have) an STD. It doesn't mean they're horrible people or should be shamed; in fact, it's the stigma against STDs that might make promiscuous people with STDs ashamed and thus less likely to admit to having one. Still, it's not a huge reason for people's preference to date those with less sexual partners (as people who have had only a few can lie about STDs as well). Many times, it isn't about shaming at all. People want to be with those who have a similar lifestyle because they feel that they can relate to them more. It doesn't mean they have a holier-than-thou attitude towards people with lots of sexual partners. But people on here love twisting a personal preference into a horrific prejudice.


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## WBK2013 (Apr 15, 2013)

No answer for doesn't matter?


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

tbyrfan said:


> I'm not shaming myself, since I don't have an STD...don't really get why I would be.
> 
> I was stating that people with more sex partners are more likely to have had (or currently have) an STD. It doesn't mean they're horrible people or should be shamed; in fact, it's the stigma against STDs that might make promiscuous people with STDs ashamed and thus less likely to admit to having one. Still, it's not a huge reason for people's preference to date those with less sexual partners (as people who have had only a few can lie about STDs as well). Many times, it isn't about shaming at all. People want to be with those who have a similar lifestyle because they feel that they can relate to them more. It doesn't mean they have a holier-than-thou attitude towards people with lots of sexual partners. But people on here love twisting a personal preference into a horrific prejudice.


Hon, cold sores are simply another word for herpes. You might have not contracted it sexually, but you can transmit it through sex. You've only had sex with ONE person, yet you're likely to give someone genital herpes if you give them a BJ during an outbreak (or even right before one). And guess what? That **** is for life. I'd rather get crabs that's curable over genital/oral herpes, quite frankly. 
My point is that you yourself are an example of how inaccurate that assumption is, especially since cold sores are _so_ common.

You're right, though, people do want to be with others who have similar lifestyles. But what does that have to do with how many sex partners they've had? I've had sex with only one person and my best friend (my age) has been with five. We enjoy the same things, it just so happens she's had more sexual partners. The amount of people you've had sex with doesn't say anything about your lifestyle. You're simply making judgments.

By stating that people who have more than X amount of partners are most likely "tainted with an STD," is basically shaming them. Not only that, but it's information taking straight out of your ***. You yourself are an example.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

tbyrfan said:


> Many times, it isn't about shaming at all. People want to be with those who have a similar lifestyle because they feel that they can relate to them more. It doesn't mean they have a holier-than-thou attitude towards people with lots of sexual partners. But people on here love twisting a personal preference into a horrific prejudice.


:yes

Like I strongly prefer to date someone with SA, or at least introverted. That's a personal preference. It doesn't mean I hate extroverted people or that I think all outgoing people are uncontrollable party animals lol. I would just feel more comfortable dating someone who is like me in that respect and I don't see how that's a problem. An extroverted person could be understanding and comforting, but I think it's hard for anyone to truly understand SA unless they have it.

And going back to the sexual partners thing...Yes, just because someone has had many sexual partners does not necessarily mean they can't commit. Everyone has their own reasons. But for inexperienced people (some of us) it's nice being able to learn with your partner, sexually. Especially if you really love them. If someone who has had many sexual partners preferred to date someone who was very experienced sexually, I would understand that too. Maybe they want someone who has a similar lifestyle, someone who has had more practice, etc. Whatever the reason, it doesn't bother me. I don't understand why these threads always get heated. It's really not a big deal what someone else's dating preferences are. :stu


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Having a few one night stands doesn't really make a "lifestyle" difference. Most people who have had one night stands, have long-term relationships. 

Didn't some of you guys have sex with your partners the first day you met in person (after talking online for a while)? Isn't that sort of ****ty?


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

mezzoforte said:


> :yes
> 
> Like I strongly prefer to date someone with SA, or at least introverted. That's a personal preference. It doesn't mean I hate extroverted people or that I think all outgoing people are uncontrollable party animals lol. I would just feel more comfortable dating someone who is like me in that respect and I don't see how that's a problem. An extroverted person could be understanding and comforting, but I think it's hard for anyone to truly understand SA unless they have it.
> 
> And going back to the sexual partners thing...Yes, just because someone has had many sexual partners does not necessarily mean they can't commit. Everyone has their own reasons. But for inexperienced people (some of us) it's nice being able to learn with your partner, sexually. Especially if you really love them. If someone who has had many sexual partners preferred to date someone who was very experienced sexually, I would understand that too. Maybe they want someone who has a similar lifestyle, someone who has had more practice, etc. Whatever the reason, it doesn't bother me. I don't understand why these threads always get heated. It's really not a big deal what someone else's dating preferences are. :stu


I'm really surprised you agree with her since, basically, you're the type of person she's warning "low number" people against (taking into consideration your age, # of partners and openness about sex). 
I'm not trying to make any judgments about you; I'm just really surprised about your stance.



komorikun said:


> Having a few one night stands doesn't really make a "lifestyle" difference. Most people who have had one night stands, have long-term relationships.
> 
> *Didn't some of you guys have sex with your partners the first day you met in person (after talking online for a while)? Isn't that sort of ****ty?*


That's exactly what I was thinking. :roll


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

AllToAll said:


> I'm really surprised you agree with her since, basically, you're the type of person she's warning "low number" people against (taking into consideration your age, # of partners and openness about sex).
> I'm not trying to make any judgments about you; I'm just really surprised about your stance.


I've had two sexual partners and can count the number of times I've ever had sex on one hand. What is wrong with preferring a partner who is also inexperienced? :con

Why is it wrong to want to date someone who is similar to me? Is it wrong that I won't date someone who isn't into video games? After all, there are some guys who don't play video games who are really nice people.



komorikun said:


> Didn't some of you guys have sex with your partners the first day you met in person (after talking online for a while)? Isn't that sort of ****ty?


No, I don't think having sex with someone you really care about is ****ty.


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

If a woman had more tha 10 she would probably lie about it anyway. So how are you going to find out how many?


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

HustleRose said:


> Hon, cold sores are simply another word for herpes. You might have not contracted it sexually, but you can transmit it through sex. You've only had sex with ONE person, yet you're likely to give someone genital herpes if you give them a BJ during an outbreak (or even right before one). And guess what? That **** is for life. I'd rather get crabs that's curable over genital/oral herpes, quite frankly.
> My point is that you yourself are an example of how inaccurate that assumption is, especially since cold sores are _so_ common.
> 
> You're right, though, people do want to be with others who have similar lifestyles. But what does that have to do with how many sex partners they've had? I've had sex with only one person and my best friend (my age) has been with five. We enjoy the same things, it just so happens she's had more sexual partners. The amount of people you've had sex with doesn't say anything about your lifestyle. You're simply making judgments.
> ...


Let's not turn this into a "Let's shame tbyrfan for having cold sores" thread. I am not an example of someone with an STD, because _I don't have an STD._ Like I already said (apparently nobody paid attention), I know it can be transmitted sexually, and I wouldn't give my partner oral sex before an outbreak (I can feel/see signs before), during, or for a while after an outbreak to be safe. I've already said this before, so I don't have anything else to say about it. :stu

As long as someone with however many past sexual partners was tested and is currently clean, there's nothing wrong with that. All i'm saying is that it makes sense to not sleep with someone you know is promiscuous unless they get tested, because they are statistically more likely to have an STD. I didn't mean to be unclear. I know for a fact that many people with lots of sexual partners get tested often and take good care of their health.



mezzoforte said:


> And going back to the sexual partners thing...Yes, just because someone has had many sexual partners does not necessarily mean they can't commit. Everyone has their own reasons. *But for inexperienced people (some of us) it's nice being able to learn with your partner, sexually. Especially if you really love them. If someone who has had many sexual partners preferred to date someone who was very experienced sexually, I would understand that too.* Maybe they want someone who has a similar lifestyle, someone who has had more practice, etc. Whatever the reason, it doesn't bother me. I don't understand why these threads always get heated. It's really not a big deal what someone else's dating preferences are. :stu


This! It's perfectly okay for inexperienced people to want to be with other inexperienced people. That's what I mean by "lifestyle" - it's not the best word, but the number of relationships/sex partners someone has had is an aspect of their life. Some may feel inadequate compared to an experienced partner, may feel that they're being judged and compared to that person's many past partners, etc. There's nothing wrong with that, but apparently here we're shamed for having a preference and not being willing to date just anyone.



mezzoforte said:


> No, I don't think having sex with someone you really care about is ****ty.


:yes


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

mezzoforte said:


> I've had two sexual partners and can count the number of times I've ever had sex on one hand. What is wrong with preferring a partner who is also inexperienced? :con
> 
> Why is it wrong to want to date someone who is similar to me? Is it wrong that I won't date someone who isn't into video games? After all, there are some guys who don't play video games who are really nice people!
> 
> No, I don't think having sex with someone you really care about is ****ty.


How can you know a person that well without meeting in person? I'm just going to make a little prediction that you will most likely have banged at least 20 guys by the time you are 28. Let me know in 8 or 9 years if I'm right.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

komorikun said:


> How can you know a person that well without meeting in person? I'm just going to make a little prediction that you will most likely have banged at least 20 guys by the time you are 28. Let me know in 8 or 9 years if I'm right.


Thanks.

You've probably never had a relationship with someone you've met online? I guess it's hard to understand if you've never experienced it. You can get to know someone very well over the internet. My boyfriend and I literally cam and talk the whole day, play games together, watch movies - we're in constant contact and probably spend more time together than most couples that aren't long distance. We're also extremely open with eachother.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

mezzoforte said:


> I've had two sexual partners and can count the number of times I've ever had sex on one hand. What is wrong with preferring a partner who is also inexperienced? :con
> 
> Why is it wrong to want to date someone who is similar to me? Is it wrong that I won't date someone who isn't into video games? After all, there are some guys who don't play video games who are really nice people!


It'll be 3 soon, right? It doesn't really matter how many times you've had sex with each person but the actual number of partners (at least according to their comments-because the reasoning behind the number doesn't matter, apparently). You're 19, so in five years you might have sex with more people if the next relationship doesn't pan out. You'll basically become the type of person they're making judgments of. That's why I found your agreement surprising, and not because you're looking for someone "similar to you."

On that note, though, how can you find the amount of people a person has had sex with as something relateable? For example, I haven't had sex, yet I have nothing in common with you (or quite a lot of male virgins here, for that matter). Furthermore, I have SAD and I'm extremely shy, and still that's the only thing I have in common with you. I mean, I think you're a really sweet girl, but that's it. It's not wrong to want someone with scant sexual experience. I do believe, though, that it's not a guide for how much you will have in common with them.


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## StarDude (May 29, 2011)

komorikun said:


> How can you know a person that well without meeting in person? I'm just going to make a little prediction that you will most likely have banged at least 20 guys by the time you are 28. Let me know in 8 or 9 years if I'm right.


Why are you so mad at everyone in this thread? How many people are you going to personal attack before your passive aggressive bloodlust is satisfied?


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

StarDude said:


> Why are you so mad at everyone in this thread? How many people are you going to personal attack before your passive aggressive bloodlust is satisfied?


Just seems inconsistent.

And what I said about banging 20 guys is not negative in my mind. If anything it's positive.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

AllToAll said:


> It'll be 3 soon, right? It doesn't really matter how many times you've had sex with each person but the actual number of partners (at least according to their comments-because the reasoning behind the number doesn't matter, apparently). You're 19, so in five years you might have sex with more people if the next relationship doesn't pan out. You'll basically become the type of person they're making judgments of. That's why I found your agreement surprising, and not because you're looking for someone "similar to you."
> 
> On that note, though, how can you find the amount of people a person has had sex with as something relateable? For example, I haven't had sex, yet I have nothing in common with you (or quite a lot of male virgins here, for that matter). Furthermore, I have SAD and I'm extremely shy, and still that's the only thing I have in common with you. I mean, I think you're a really sweet girl, but that's it. It's not wrong to want someone with scant sexual experience. I do believe, though, that it's not a guide for how much you will have in common with them.


This is how I find the amount of people a person has had sex with as something relateable:

People who have had a lot of sex have had a lot of practice. People who are virgins or have not had much sex aren't likely to be experts... I would like to be with someone inexperienced ideally, so that we can learn together. I prefer learning together to someone who has had over 40 sexual partners teaching me the ropes. That's just my preference. If/when I have slept with more people and have had more experience, I will probably not care about the number of sexual partners my partner has had.


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

tbyrfan said:


> Let's not turn this into a "Let's shame tbyrfan for having cold sores" thread. I am not an example of someone with an STD, because _I don't have an STD._ Like I already said (apparently nobody paid attention), I know it can be transmitted sexually, and I wouldn't give my partner oral sex before an outbreak (I can feel/see signs before), during, or for a while after an outbreak to be safe. I've already said this before, so I don't have anything else to say about it. :stu
> 
> As long as someone with however many past sexual partners was tested and is currently clean, there's nothing wrong with that. All i'm saying is that it makes sense to not sleep with someone you know is promiscuous unless they get tested, because they are statistically more likely to have an STD. I didn't mean to be unclear. I know for a fact that many people with lots of sexual partners get tested often and take good care of their health.


Oh girl, I'm not "shaming"you. You're just insecure about them, so any comment I make about a cold sore you take personally. 
Like I said, you may not have contracted it sexually, but you can't transmit it through sex. You may not want to be labeled as "an owner of an STD", but you are capable of giving someone herpes. It's cool if you're safe. Everyone who has herpes should be (although I know not everyone is), but you're not an exception to the rule; you have something that you could transmit...and you've only had sex with ONE person. *Your argument is flawed*. So no, it doesn't really make sense to _not_ sleep with someone because they've been with 10 people and might, in your mind, have an STD. You could have sex with a virgin and _still_ get something. You're judging people with no basis to do so!
Getting tested should be something you do whether you've had 10 or 3 partners. Period.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

mezzoforte said:


> This is how I find the amount of people a person has had sex with as something relateable:
> 
> People who have had a lot of sex have had a lot of practice. People who are virgins or have not had much sex aren't likely to be experts... I would like to be with someone inexperienced ideally, so that we can learn together. I prefer learning together to someone who has had over 40 sexual partners teaching me the ropes. That's just my preference. If/when I have slept with more people and have had more experience, I will probably not care about the number of sexual partners my partner has had.


I understand that aspect, but if you're using that as your only guide to being with someone, or as something to judge them by, you might as well have sex with 60% of this board... :stu


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

AllToAll said:


> I understand that aspect, but if you're using that as your only guide to being with someone, or as something to judge them by, you might as well have sex with 60% of this board... :stu


It's just a preference in a potential partner. Obviously other things matter lol. :b


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Most of the people in this thread aren't so bad. The worst are those guys that are willing to sleep with most any woman but prefer women with little sexual experience for long term relationships. Now those are the biggest hypocrites.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

komorikun said:


> Most of the people in this thread aren't so bad. The worst are those guys that are willing to sleep with most any woman but prefer women with little sexual experience for long term relationships. Now those are biggest hypocrites.


Exactly. If I had more experience, I wouldn't care about someone else's number. I might even prefer someone with more experience? Idk. It sounds kind of narcissistic, but I tend to prefer to date someone who is like me in MANY ways. I never understood the saying "Opposites attract"


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## StarDude (May 29, 2011)

AllToAll said:


> I understand that aspect, but if you're using that as your only guide to being with someone, or as something to judge them by, you might as well have sex with 60% of this board... :stu


You can't honestly believe she's saying that she'll literally have sex with or get in a relationship with anyone sexually inexperienced do you? It's the main discussion of the thread (which should get locked) not an indication of everything you want in a partner.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

StarDude said:


> You can't honestly believe she's saying that she'll literally have sex with or get in a relationship with any sexually inexperienced do you? It's the main discussion of the thread (which should get locked) not an indication of everything you want in a partner.


No, I don't believe that, but through her post it seemed like she was putting more weight on the number than it actually deserved. It was cleared up. 
And the thread shouldn't be locked. Most people are being quite civilized. Disagreements and different views are common in message boards. No need to go and close every thread that sparks a debate.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

AllToAll said:


> No, I don't believe that, but through her post it seemed like she was putting more weight on the number than it actually deserved. It was cleared up.
> And the thread shouldn't be locked. Most people are being quite civilized. Disagreements and different views are common in message boards. No need to go and close every thread that sparks a debate.


Agreed. Try not to turn this into a flamewar about indivual members. We don't want this thread to get shut down. I need more data for science!

So far the results (with 83 votes in) are very interesting:










More women than men prefer someone with fewer sexual partners. How interesting. :b


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## SnowFlakesFire (Aug 23, 2012)

komorikun said:


> The worst are those guys that are willing to sleep with most any woman but prefer women with little sexual experience for long term relationships. Now those are biggest hypocrites.


:yes


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## StarDude (May 29, 2011)

There should be an option for not caring about how many people your partner has been with. I really wouldn't care honestly, but the STD risk could be a turn-off so if anything we might not be able to have sex or even kiss. :|


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

Is quality or quantity more important? I think I would rather do someone who has been with 100 guys than one who was with Michael Jackson.


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## tbyrfan (Feb 24, 2011)

HustleRose said:


> Oh girl, I'm not "shaming" you. You're just insecure about them, so any comment I make about a cold sore you take personally.
> Like I said, you may not have contracted it sexually, but you can't transmit it through sex. You may not want to be labeled as "an owner of an STD", but you are capable of giving someone herpes. It's cool if you're safe. Everyone who has herpes should be (although I know not everyone is), but you're not an exception to the rule; you have something that you could transmit...and you've only had sex with ONE person. *Your argument is flawed*. So no, it doesn't really make sense to _not_ sleep with someone because they've been with 10 people and might, in your mind, have an STD. You could have sex with a virgin and _still_ get something. You're judging people with no basis to do so!
> Getting tested should be something you do whether you've had 10 or 3 partners. Period.


And you keep making comments about them because you know I take it personally. Hmm...:blank

Like you said, virgins can have diseases too; someone could be born with HIV or get it from a blood transfusion. And the majority of the population will have oral herpes at some time in their life, with many of them contracting it far before having sex. Also, no matter how many partners someone has previously had, STD testing is important. All I am saying is that if I wanted to sleep with a promiscuous person, I would be even more adamant that they take a test, and I would be more careful about sleeping with them. Whether you like it or not, there IS a correlation between having more sex partners and contracting more STDs, which is a valid reason for being more concerned. That's not at all the reason I wouldn't want to sleep with a promiscuous person, though. It just comes down to what mezzoforte said - wanting someone similar in terms of experience. Like she said, if I were promiscuous, I would have no problem sleeping with another promiscuous person, as long as both of us were clean.

I feel like we're saying the same things over and over, so i'd rather just agree to disagree.


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## HustleRose (Jun 19, 2009)

tbyrfan said:


> And you keep making comments about them because you know I take it personally. Hmm...:blank


No, I make comments about them to prove your point wrong because you yourself have them and have only been with one person.



> Like you said, virgins can have diseases too; someone could be born with HIV or get it from a blood transfusion. And the majority of the population will have oral herpes at some time in their life, with many of them contracting it far before having sex. Also, no matter how many partners someone has previously had, STD testing is important. All I am saying is that if I wanted to sleep with a promiscuous person, I would be even more adamant that they take a test, and I would be more careful about sleeping with them. Whether you like it or not, there IS a correlation between having more sex partners and contracting more STDs, which is a valid reason for being more concerned. That's not at all the reason I wouldn't want to sleep with a promiscuous person, though. It just comes down to what mezzoforte said - wanting someone similar in terms of experience. Like she said, if I were promiscuous, I would have no problem sleeping with another promiscuous person, as long as both of us were clean.
> 
> I feel like we're saying the same things over and over, so i'd rather just agree to disagree.


Done.


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## EternallyRestless (Jul 19, 2011)

I don't think it's all that important, but I voted 10-19 because I feel like more than 10 is a lot for someone in their early 20s.


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## Mtnman (Aug 1, 2013)

Call me "old fashioned" but we're talking about the absolute most intimate thing you can do with somebody. Nobody aside from an actual spouse deserves that, IMO. I would not date/marry a girl with a history, unless maybe it was way in her past and she has genuinely changed.


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## Valtron (Jul 6, 2013)

EternallyRestless said:


> I don't think it's all that important, but I voted 10-19 because I feel like more than 10 is a lot for someone in their *early 20s*.


But 9 is acceptable? That still seems like way too much.


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## EternallyRestless (Jul 19, 2011)

Valtron said:


> But 9 is acceptable? That still seems like way too much.


It might be high to some people but I don't think you should automatically dismiss someone because of it. I think what kind of person they are is more important.


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## meganmila (Jul 25, 2011)

lol I had about 9....

I'm not accepted  wahhhh


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

meganmila said:


> lol I had about 9....
> 
> I'm not accepted  wahhhh


I still love you. :heart

:b


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## Phalene (Feb 15, 2013)

I am super conservative on this point. A guy who sleeps with a new girl every week or month is not for me, we would have absolutely nothing in common when it comes to a relationship. It simply means he looks for pleasure and it is fine, it is his business but I won't make it mine, cause I don't have this outlook on life at all.

But a big fat lol at men who are looking to get laid anytime while calling names the women they do it with. Madona/wh0re, as usual.


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## jeremy88 (Jan 5, 2013)

If you want to find a good woman (or guy if you're a girl), then wait until marriage yourself, and not only that, but demand that in your criteria for a partner. Sex corrupts people's morals. Don't believe me? The divorce rate for those that "wait until marriage" is around 5%. Let that soak in for a bit.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

jeremy88 said:


> If you want to find a good woman (or guy if you're a girl), then wait until marriage yourself, and not only that, but demand that in your criteria for a partner. Sex corrupts people's morals. Don't believe me? The divorce rate for those that "wait until marriage" is around 5%. Let that soak in for a bit.


Do you have a very low sex drive?


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## jeremy88 (Jan 5, 2013)

mezzoforte said:


> Do you have a very low sex drive?


I have high self-control. Nothing good comes from premarital sex, only STDs and accidental pregnancy, and a destruction of the capacity for intimacy-all of which is avoided by waiting until marriage. I'm also a Christian, and anything less than waiting until marriage is a sin in my book (i.e. the bible). Not all people believe in morality though I suppose...


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## Phalene (Feb 15, 2013)

It´s just that not everyone wants to get married. Doesn't mean they want to screw around either.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

jeremy88 said:


> If you want to find a good woman (or guy if you're a girl), then wait until marriage yourself, and not only that, but demand that in your criteria for a partner. *Sex corrupts people's morals.* Don't believe me? The divorce rate for those that "wait until marriage" is around 5%. Let that soak in for a bit.


How so?

And if that's true, then following that logic one should never have sex. Not even while married, because then they'd go off and cheat since they're corrupted, no?


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

jeremy88 said:


> I have high self-control. Nothing good comes from premarital sex, only STDs and accidental pregnancy, and a destruction of the capacity for intimacy-all of which is avoided by waiting until marriage. I'm also a Christian, and anything less than waiting until marriage is a sin in my book (i.e. the bible). Not all people believe in morality though I suppose...


So you don't have a low sex drive?

And people can fall in love and have a serious relationship that includes sex without being married. I've personally experienced this. But I understand that you'll stick to your religion. My father is also very religious. I just don't understand how it's wrong if a couple has been dating for several years (and having sex), and_ then _one day decide to get married.


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## jeremy88 (Jan 5, 2013)

mezzoforte said:


> So you don't have a low sex drive?
> 
> And people can fall in love and have a serious relationship that includes sex without being married. I've personally experienced this. But I understand that you'll stick to your religion. My father is also very religious. I just don't understand how it's wrong if a couple has been dating for several years (and having sex), and_ then _one day decide to get married.


It's best to wait until marriage because the focus of the relationship should be love and not lust. To have sex before marriage proverbially puts the carriage before the horse. Some fleeting pleasure is nothing compared to actually falling in love, getting married, and creating a loving family. Lust has blinded you to the truth of your own destructive behavior, because let me guess, you have had many failed relationships and think you're an expert on the subject.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

jeremy88 said:


> It's best to wait until marriage because the focus of the relationship should be love and not lust. To have sex before marriage proverbially puts the carriage before the horse. Some fleeting pleasure is nothing compared to actually falling in love, getting married, and creating a loving family. Lust has blinded you to the truth of your own destructive behavior, *because let me guess, you have had many failed relationships and think you're an expert on the subject.*


I haven't had many relationships, and I don't think I'm an expert on the subject.

I've already fallen in love and plan to get married and create a loving family. But I'm going to enjoy having sex with my partner until then.  I wish you luck with your future relationships as well and I'm sorry you feel the need to put down and judge people who aren't religious. I wasn't trying to attack you for your beliefs. I just asked a question and provided my own perspective.


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## lkkxm (Apr 11, 2012)

jeremy88 said:


> It's best to wait until marriage because the focus of the relationship should be love and not lust. To have sex before marriage proverbially puts the carriage before the horse. Some fleeting pleasure is nothing compared to actually falling in love, getting married, and creating a loving family. Lust has blinded you to the truth of your own destructive behavior, because let me guess, you have had many failed relationships and think you're an expert on the subject.


If you're going to attack and belittle others ("let me guess, you have had many failed relationships and think you're an expert on the subject") let me point out to *you* that marriage wasn't about love until the 21st century. At most, it created alliances between families and prevented incest (except when it came to the very upper class, who were known to keep it in the family for "purity" of blood).

Failing that, marriage was about an old dude selling his daughter to some other dude for a profit because women have traditionally been seen as useless for anything other than childbearing (see "dowry"). There was no sex before marriage because that would mean the buyer got to use the goods without paying for them.

The word "honeymoon" comes from the type of alcohol a man would give his new wife after they were married so it was easier for her to accept that he was going to be ****ing her that night, with or without her approval and consent.

The idea that people who have sex before marriage are any less in love than people who are married is idiotic. There are people who are married who are miserable as **** with each other, and there are people who will never marry that are deeply in love.

Marriage =/= love

Having sex before marriage doesn't mean you're any less in love with the person you're with any more than it means marriage automatically means love and happiness.


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## jeremy88 (Jan 5, 2013)

mezzoforte said:


> I haven't had many relationships, and I don't think I'm an expert on the subject.
> 
> I've already fallen in love and plan to get married and create a loving family. But I'm going to enjoy having sex with my partner until then.  I wish you luck with your future relationships as well and I'm sorry you feel the need to put down and judge people who aren't religious. I wasn't trying to attack you for your beliefs. I just asked a question and provided my own perspective.


Why would you be sorry for me judging others? It seems that you are judging my judging, which is hypocritical. I think your perspective is flawed, but sadly it is widely adopted in the United States. The beliefs that you hold are destructive when weighed against conservative values. Conservative values lead to more stable family life, reduced divorce rate, reduced illegitimate child-bearing, reduced rate of STDs, no abortions, etc. I'm not really even judging individual people, just the stupid ideas they hold. My point is that you shouldn't let your feelings get in the way of logic.


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## jeremy88 (Jan 5, 2013)

lkkxm said:


> If you're going to attack and belittle others ("let me guess, you have had many failed relationships and think you're an expert on the subject") let me point out to *you* that marriage wasn't about love until the 21st century. At most, it created alliances between families and prevented incest (except when it came to the very upper class, who were known to keep it in the family for "purity" of blood).
> 
> Failing that, marriage was about an old dude selling his daughter to some other dude for a profit because women have traditionally been seen as useless for anything other than childbearing (see "dowry"). There was no sex before marriage because that would mean the buyer got to use the goods without paying for them.
> 
> ...


You're missing the forest for the trees. Underneath your near meaningless babble, you obviously cling to beliefs that allow for your degenerative behavior. Cling away! I disagree with your position and stand by what I said. Conservative values are better for strong families and stable societies than liberal values, and this is shown statistically. You're morally bankrupt and blind.


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## lkkxm (Apr 11, 2012)

jeremy88 said:


> You're missing the forest for the trees. Underneath your near meaningless babble, you obviously cling to beliefs that allow for your degenerative behavior. Cling away! I disagree with your position and stand by what I said. Conservative values are better for strong families and stable societies than liberal values, and this is shown statistically. You're morally bankrupt and blind.


Show me the statistics, from a few different reputable sources, and not just christian ones. If the divorce rate in this country is above 50%, and most people in this country are "conservative" then the 5% divorce rate you stated doesn't make sense,and you pulled a figure out of your ***.

EDIT: And I don't believe it makes for more stable family life. It makes for more families who don't get divorced because they "aren't allowed to." That says nothing about the happiness of the individuals in the family, or individual stability. Most "conservatives" talk a good game and sin in secret more than any liberal I've ever known.


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## Natey (Sep 16, 2011)

The whole disconnect here is how you perceive right or wrong. Yea, maybe looking at it, pre-marital sex doesn't seem bad, but, just because there really isn't an inherent hurt in the process doesn't mean that it is moral. White lies don't tend to hurt anyone either. It comes down to the simple understand that God set it up this way and it is His rules. It is wrong because he has declared it wrong. Now you have a choice to follow your own ways or God's.


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## lkkxm (Apr 11, 2012)

Natey said:


> The whole disconnect here is how you perceive right or wrong. Yea, maybe looking at it, pre-marital sex doesn't seem bad, but, just because there really isn't an inherent hurt in the process doesn't mean that it is moral. White lies don't tend to hurt anyone either. It comes down to the simple understand that God set it up this way and it is His rules. It is wrong because he has declared it wrong. Now you have a choice to follow your own ways or God's.


My point is God *didn't* set it up that way. It was people. Marriage has not been around since the beginning of time. The bible has been around for what, a couple thousand years? Marriage has been about love only for about a century.


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## lkkxm (Apr 11, 2012)

"Moonstruck partners pledging eternal love may be the current definition of marriage, but this starry-eyed picture has relatively modern origins.

Though marriage has ancient roots, until recently love had little to do with it.

"What marriage had in common was that it really was not about the relationship between the man and the woman," said Stephanie Coontz, the author of "Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage," (Penguin Books, 2006). "It was a way of getting in-laws, of making alliances and expanding the family labor force."

"Marriage is a truly ancient institution that predates recorded history. But early marriage was seen as a strategic alliance between families, with the youngsters often having no say in the matter. In some cultures, parents even married one child to the spirit of a deceased child in order to strengthen familial bonds, Coontz said."

"Keeping alliances within the family was also quite common. In the Bible, the forefathers Isaac and Jacob married cousins and Abraham married his half-sister. Cousin marriages remain common throughout the world, particularly in the Middle East. In fact, Rutgers anthropologist Robin Fox has estimated that the majority of all marriages throughout history were between first and second cousins."

"n many early cultures, men could dissolve a marriage or take another wife if a woman was infertile."

"Still, monogamous marriage was very different from the modern conception of mutual fidelity. Though marriage was legally or sacramentally recognized between just one man and one woman, until the 19th century, men had wide latitude to engage in extramarital affairs, Coontz said. Any children resulting from those trysts, however, would be illegitimate, with no claim to the man's inheritance.

"Men's promiscuity was quite protected by the dual laws of legal monogamy but tolerance - basically enabling - of informal promiscuity," Coontz said.

Women caught stepping out, by contrast, faced serious risk and censure."

"Marriages in the West were originally contracts between the families of two partners, with the Catholic Church and the state staying out of it. In 1215, the Catholic Church decreed that partners had to publicly post banns, or notices of an impending marriage in a local parish, to cut down on the frequency of invalid marriages (the Church eliminated that requirement in the 1980s). Still, until the 1500s, the Church accepted a couple's word that they had exchanged marriage vows, with no witnesses or corroborating evidence needed."

"Around the world, family-arranged alliances have gradually given way to love matches, and a transition from an agricultural to a market economy plays a big role in that transition, Coontz said.

Parents historically controlled access to inheritance of agricultural land. But with the spread of a market economy, "it's less important for people to have permission of their parents to wait to give them an inheritance or to work on their parents' land," Coontz said. "So it's more possible for young people to say, 'heck, I'm going to marry who I want.'"

Modern markets also allow women to play a greater economic role, which lead to their greater independence. And the expansion of democracy, with its emphasis on liberty and individual choice, may also have stacked the deck for love matches.

Still, marriage wasn't about equality until about 50 years ago. At that time, women and men had unique rights and responsibilities within marriage. For instance, in the United States, marital rape was legal in many states until the 1970s, and women often could not open credit cards in their own names, Coontz said. Women were entitled to support from their husbands, but didn't have the right to decide on the distribution of community property. And if a wife was injured or killed, a man could sue the responsible party for depriving him of "services around the home," whereas women didn't have the same option, Coontz said.

By about 50 years ago, the notion that men and women had identical obligations within marriage began to take root. Instead of being about unique, gender-based roles, most partners conceived of their unions in terms of flexible divisions of labor, companionship, and mutual sexual attraction."

source: http://www.livescience.com/37777-history-of-marriage.html

To be fair, this may not be the most credible source to pull the information from. However, it all falls in line with the books I read and the classes I took while i was in college. And most of it is quotes from "reputable" sources.

There's nothing immoral or moral about sex before marriage, especially as it relates to the bible. If you're a good person you're a good person. If you're not you're not. What does belief in a deity have to do with the goodness of an individual? Religious people throughout history have commited the most atrocious crimes, even in the name of their "god." Belief in God doesn't make you a good person. It makes you a person who believes in God.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

jeremy88 said:


> *Why would you be sorry for me judging others? *It seems that you are judging my judging, which is hypocritical. I think your perspective is flawed, but sadly it is widely adopted in the United States. The beliefs that you hold are destructive when weighed against conservative values. Conservative values lead to more stable family life, reduced divorce rate, reduced illegitimate child-bearing, reduced rate of STDs, no abortions, etc. I'm not really even judging individual people, just the stupid ideas they hold. My point is that you shouldn't let your feelings get in the way of logic.


Exactly. She's judging your judgments and not you. That seems to be your thing.

Also, you haven't answered my question.


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## tea111red (Nov 8, 2005)

I'm not interested in anyone that's slept around a lot (I don't really know about the specific number, it really depends on the person's age, but I'd consider more than 10 for around 30 yrs old to be a lot). To me, it shows a strong lack of self-control and that is a turn off.


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## EternallyRestless (Jul 19, 2011)

jeremy88 said:


> It's best to wait until marriage because the focus of the relationship should be love and not lust. To have sex before marriage proverbially puts the carriage before the horse. Some fleeting pleasure is nothing compared to actually falling in love, getting married, and creating a loving family. Lust has blinded you to the truth of your own destructive behavior, *because let me guess, you have had many failed relationships and think you're an expert on the subject.*


Because, let me guess, you're reading statistics that have been cherry-picked by the Religious Right and think you're an expert on the subject?


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## jeremy88 (Jan 5, 2013)

The real question here is: Are you a Christian (me), a fake-Christian (okay with violating God's law for the sake of some perverted pleasure), or a nonbeliever (amoral)? That's where the worldviews find themselves organized. Essentially the nonbelievers and fake Christians are on the same page.


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## EternallyRestless (Jul 19, 2011)

jeremy88 said:


> The real question here is: Are you a Christian (me), a fake-Christian (okay with violating God's law for the sake of some perverted pleasure), or a nonbeliever (amoral)? That's where the worldviews find themselves organized. Essentially the nonbelievers and fake Christians are on the same page.


I'm going to say you're a troll, because you have to know how disrespectful that is.


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## jeremy88 (Jan 5, 2013)

EternallyRestless said:


> I'm going to say you're a troll, because you have to know how disrespectful that is.


I'm a troll because I'm expressing reality? I actually read the bible. Do I need to start quoting verses? A fake Christian is someone who claims to be a Christian but doesn't act as a Christian.


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## EternallyRestless (Jul 19, 2011)

jeremy88 said:


> I'm a troll because I'm expressing reality? I actually read the bible. Do I need to start quoting verses? A fake Christian is someone who claims to be a Christian but doesn't act as a Christian.


No, you don't need to start quoting verses, please. What I meant is that you must understand how offensive it is to say that 1. There are only three world views and 2. Everyone who doesn't think like you is immoral. But maybe you really don't understand that.


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## probably offline (Oct 8, 2012)

People go through different phases in their lives. I'm not gonna say no to dating someone I'm interested in because they've slept with a lot of people or none. I wouldn't even ask unless it came up. It usually comes up at one point or another, though.


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## jeremy88 (Jan 5, 2013)

EternallyRestless said:


> No, you don't need to start quoting verses, please. What I meant is that you must understand how offensive it is to say that 1. There are only three world views and 2. Everyone who doesn't think like you is immoral. But maybe you really don't understand that.


I'm going to express my view either way. I find the notion of sleeping with people before marriage offensive. Freedom of speech isn't intended to protect speech that is "unoffensive." Not only that, but this thread is about what people's views are relating to the subject of their partner sleeping with multiple people, of which I'm completely within my right to express my view (which is that of Christianity).


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

after the last couple of pages I had to check to see if I accidentally clicked on the religion sub section.

srsly. let it go.


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## jeremy88 (Jan 5, 2013)

Elad said:


> after the last couple of pages I had to check to see if I accidentally clicked on the religion sub section.
> 
> srsly. let it go.


Religion is a part of life. For the same reason secularism is your life and worldview, mine is Christianity  ...Get used to it, bud. It's called living in a free country. You need to "let it go" when it comes to believing only people like you should be able to express themselves. Everyone wears their morality on their sleeves, the only difference is the source.


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## Elad (Dec 6, 2009)

jeremy88 said:


> Religion is a part of life. For the same reason secularism is your life and worldview, mine is Christianity  ...Get used to it, bud. It's called living in a free country. You need to "let it go" when it comes to believing only people like you should be able to express themselves. Everyone wears their morality on their sleeves, the only difference is the source.


you can express yourself however you'd like but its unnecessary to insult people. Its not helping you get your point across, its just making you look like an ***, bud. (not replying to you again)


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## jeremy88 (Jan 5, 2013)

lkkxm said:


> If you find the idea of sleeping with other people before marriage offensive, then don't do it. Stop judging those who do. Doesn't your bible tell you not to judge, because it isn't your place? Or do you pick and choose the verses you pay attention to? It's equally offensive to me that you judge people for their views, so I guess it goes both ways. You seem to be saying because you believe in God, you're the only one allowed to be offended.


The bible only says not to judge when you are being hypocritical. You're speaking to a true believer, so you are way over your head on biblical concepts. In fact, we Christians are obligated to spread the word (of His law and how to straighten the path to avoid hell; to paraphrase: "Go forth and preach the gospel to all nations" - Jesus). Read the book of Matthew before making such an asinine claim about Christians not being able to express themselves.

Reality check: You don't see the "idea" of sleeping around as being offensive, so you are unable to understand why there would be a moral stance against it-when it comes to moral-intelligence, you are a lightweight. If we were discussing how pedophilia is morally wrong, you would be singing a different tune (I hope), and would support those who publicly shame such individuals. Premarital sex caries serious negative effects to a society (e.g. higher illegitimate child-bearing, broken homes, higher divorce rate, higher rate of STDs, institutionalization of abortion, desensitization to the emotional bonding aspect of sex). The Christian view only deprives the weak of their sinful vices. This particular vice impedes on individuals' ability to form the deepest relationship-outside of God-known to man (marriage). Me speaking out against premarital sex is even more important than speaking out against illegal drug-use.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

^^^ Cool story, bro. 8)


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## jeremy88 (Jan 5, 2013)

arnie said:


> ^^^ Cool story, bro. 8)


It certainly is  You and everyone else reading should check out Jesus' story if you hadn't already...


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

jeremy88 said:


> It certainly is  You and everyone else reading should check out Jesus' story if you hadn't already...


Brother -- I am not a believer in Gods, but remember that Jesus hung out with the same people we try so hard to exclude from society. It's best not to judge.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

This new girl im dating gives another reason as to why I only want to date women who have slept with nobody or low numbers.

We met, actually really liked her, quite hot, great personality. We clicked from the start on the first date and by the 3rd date people assumed we were in a relationship (because of how well we were laughing and joking with each other).

On that date came a bit of a blow. She was asking me when I lost my virginity to start with :/. Then kept trying to get me to tell her how many I slept with. I hate talking about that and knowing how many the girl has been with... She told me her number... 12

Usually that would be a deal breaker but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

A few dates later we started a relationship. Bedroom stuff started to happen too. I always have an open mind on trying things with a new partner... Not her though, she was all too happy to tell me about bedroom times with her ex's, what she didnt like and what ex's did to her (in detail I may add).

Worse still shes gone into detail about times she was caught doing stuff with ex's, reasons for not liking certain things, even about an ex who was unhygienic and smelt bad in bed.

Those things alone have completely put me off her and in the next few days i'm going to end things. 

People with high numbers may think of sex as an everyday part of life, talk about it freely and not class it as intimate romance that's for the bedroom. Whereas someone with very low numbers are likely to be the opposite.


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## jeremy88 (Jan 5, 2013)

pete24 said:


> This new girl im dating gives another reason as to why I only want to date women who have slept with nobody or low numbers.
> 
> We met, actually really liked her, quite hot, great personality. We clicked from the start on the first date and by the 3rd date people assumed we were in a relationship (because of how well we were laughing and joking with each other).
> 
> ...


Yeah, you definitely want to avoid a girl like that. Disgusting...


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

So the "I only have sex in long term relationships./Promiscuous people are untrustworthy and gross." are now put in the opposite position. Now trying to defend themselves against the "only have sex once married" guy(s). :lol


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## Natey (Sep 16, 2011)

jeremy88 said:


> The bible only says not to judge when you are being hypocritical. You're speaking to a true believer, so you are way over your head on biblical concepts. In fact, we Christians are obligated to spread the word (of His law and how to straighten the path to avoid hell; to paraphrase: "Go forth and preach the gospel to all nations" - Jesus). Read the book of Matthew before making such an asinine claim about Christians not being able to express themselves.
> 
> Reality check: You don't see the "idea" of sleeping around as being offensive, so you are unable to understand why there would be a moral stance against it-when it comes to moral-intelligence, you are a lightweight. If we were discussing how pedophilia is morally wrong, you would be singing a different tune (I hope), and would support those who publicly shame such individuals. Premarital sex caries serious negative effects to a society (e.g. higher illegitimate child-bearing, broken homes, higher divorce rate, higher rate of STDs, institutionalization of abortion, desensitization to the emotional bonding aspect of sex). The Christian view only deprives the weak of their sinful vices. This particular vice impedes on individuals' ability to form the deepest relationship-outside of God-known to man (marriage). Me speaking out against premarital sex is even more important than speaking out against illegal drug-use.


I agree with a lot of what you are saying man and love that you are standing up for the virtue of chastity, which is virtually non-existent today, but we have to make sure we show people the case for Christ in the most convincing way possible and with lots of love. Like they saying goes... sinners are going to act like sinners. I have immense regret in this area, so I have no authority to judge anyone. Thank goodness for God's forgiveness .


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

Natey said:


> I agree with a lot of what you are saying man and love that you are standing up for the virtue of chastity, which is virtually non-existent today, but we have to make sure we show people the case for Christ in the most convincing way possible and with lots of love. * Like they saying goes... sinners are going to act like sinners.* I have immense regret in this area, so I have no authority to judge anyone. Thank goodness for God's forgiveness .


Doesn't this God say that all men are sinners, and didn't Jesus say that no sin is greater than another? What should anyone regret about themselves? Regret seems wasteful to me, and unappreciative of the present and how one got there. A religious belief is only dangerous when it causes the believer to become jaded and judgmental -- and even then it's still the believer's mistake. We should accept people as they are -- I'm learning that now, too.


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## pete24 (Oct 13, 2010)

komorikun said:


> So the "I only have sex in long term relationships./Promiscuous people are untrustworthy and gross." are now put in the opposite position.


Not at all. Yes we had sex a bit early on... However for me to give her the benefit of the doubt when asking about how many I have slept with and when I lost my virginity it shows how much I liked her and could see it working, but then she kept on about what she did with ex's.

Had she not, things would of without a doubt turned into a long term thing.

It's a dealbreaker and more likely to happen with someone who has had a higher sexual encounter count. Whilst it's not always the case, chances of it happening are increased and I want any relationship I get in to have the best chance of working


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## Natey (Sep 16, 2011)

87wayz said:


> Doesn't this God say that all men are sinners, and didn't Jesus say that no sin is greater than another? What should anyone regret about themselves? Regret seems wasteful to me, and unappreciative of the present and how one got there. A religious belief is only dangerous when it causes the believer to become jaded and judgmental -- and even then it's still the believer's mistake. We should accept people as they are -- I'm learning that now, too.


I accept everyone as they are. I think every person is an invaluable gift and beautiful in their own right. It is sad so many try to attain status by putting other people down, we are all inherently equal.

You are 100% correct in saying that we are all sinners. We all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory God. Yet, when one becomes saved that is when his repentance is shown through sanctification (Becoming more Christ-like) and should stop all persistent sinning.

Again, you are right, dwelling in the past and having regrets are not healthy. I don't dwell in my past anymore, but I can acknowledge the fact that I have screwed up royally, and yet Christ still offers his forgiveness to me even though I don't deserve it.

As a Christian I am commanded to love everyone, but also take into account the absolute morality we have in Christ. I do not judge, I might be a Christian, but realize that I was the chief on sinners before I was saved, and times even when I was saved. I am an awful person by all accounts, but Christ has given me a second chance, not deserved, and I am forever grateful for that.


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## AllToAll (Jul 6, 2011)

jeremy88 said:


> Yeah, you definitely want to avoid a girl like that. Disgusting...


And he's not "disgusting" even though he did sleep with her?

Also, I read pete has a kid he doesn't send child support to... I think that's more amoral, don't you? :roll


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## Valtron (Jul 6, 2013)

EternallyRestless said:


> It might be high to some people but I don't think you should automatically dismiss someone because of it. I think what kind of person they are is more important.


I said it earlier in this thread: to me, if someone has had that many partners, they're most likely social/extroverted. They'd have to be, unless they're just banging prostitutes. How else are they finding chicks? There's nothing wrong with that; I just don't think they'd be the right match for me, being that I'm not outgoing and social.

Of course, I'm generalizing.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Valtron said:


> I said it earlier in this thread: to me, if someone has had that many partners, they're most likely social/extroverted. They'd have to be, unless they're just banging prostitutes. How else are they finding chicks? There's nothing wrong with that; I just don't think they'd be the right match for me, being that I'm not outgoing and social.
> 
> Of course, I'm generalizing.


In general, probably yeah. But if you go clubbing regularly it's not that hard to find someone to sleep with. And at clubs it's okay to be drunk so that takes away much of your social anxiety. I mean, I don't become outgoing but I'm much less nervous than I normally would be.

No one would ever think I'm outgoing.


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## Persephone The Dread (Aug 28, 2010)




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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

Valtron said:


> I said it earlier in this thread: to me, if someone has had that many partners, they're most likely social/extroverted. They'd have to be, unless they're just banging prostitutes. How else are they finding chicks? There's nothing wrong with that; I just don't think they'd be the right match for me, being that I'm not outgoing and social.
> 
> Of course, I'm generalizing.


A few years ago, you could find people to hook up with in chat rooms. Also Craigslist when it was gaining popularity.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

nubly said:


> A few years ago, you could find people to hook up with in chat rooms. Also Craigslist when it was gaining popularity.


Are you speaking from personal experience? :b


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

jeremy88 said:


> A fake Christian is someone who claims to be a Christian but doesn't act as a Christian.


What if his name is Christian?


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

mezzoforte said:


> Are you speaking from personal experience? :b


 :tiptoe


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

nubly said:


> :tiptoe


:lol

Not judging haha. Afterall, I'd be screwed if I didn't have the internet as a way to meet guys.


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## Valtron (Jul 6, 2013)

komorikun said:


> In general, probably yeah. But if you go clubbing regularly it's not that hard to find someone to sleep with. And at clubs it's okay to be drunk so that takes away much of your social anxiety. I mean, I don't become outgoing but I'm much less nervous than I normally would be.
> 
> No one would ever think I'm outgoing.


Fair enough. But I still wouldn't be interested in them since I hate clubs. You don't see a lot of introverts out clubbing.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Valtron said:


> Fair enough. But I still wouldn't be interested in them since I hate clubs. You don't see a lot of introverts out clubbing.


Well, introverts are not friends with only other introverts. So many do go with their more extroverted friends. And lots of people only go clubbing while single. Once they get into a relationship they stop going for the most part. Might go once in a blue moon with their partner and friends.

You don't have to like everything that your partner likes. I hate sports but most of my exes liked them.


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## Valtron (Jul 6, 2013)

komorikun said:


> Well, introverts are not friends with only other introverts. So many do go with their more extroverted friends. And lots of people only go clubbing while single. Once they get into a relationship they stop going for the most part. Might go once in a blue moon with their partner and friends.
> 
> You don't have to like everything that your partner likes. I hate sports but most of my exes liked them.


My point is that if they enjoy going to clubs, they're most likely high energy or extroverted or social. Clubs are not environments for quiet, low energy kind of people (my kind of people). That personality type would not work well with me. I don't like clubs because of how loud and crazy and overcrowded they are. Sports are a little different.

It's not a deal breaker, but I feel it's an indicator of what type of personality they have.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

You make too many assumptions. I'm quiet and low energy and I like clubs. Have you ever been to a club?


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## Valtron (Jul 6, 2013)

komorikun said:


> You make too many assumptions. I'm quiet and low energy and I like clubs. Have you ever been to a club?


Yes, parties too. What do you find appealing about them, as an introvert? I truly don't get it.


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## MissyH (Jul 31, 2013)

Oh...I didn't read the question and put in the amount of my past sexual partners. hahaha...oh well.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Valtron said:


> Yes, parties too. What do you find appealing about them, as an introvert? I truly don't get it.


The main thing is that it's an easy way to meet guys since I could never make any sort of romantic connection in my day to day life. I have always had few to no friends and don't talk to people at college or at work. I get more nervous with meeting guys from dating sites (too much pressure).

I also like that it's okay to be drunk. In most other social situations that is taboo. Alcohol makes it easier for me to talk to people. And I like how social rules are relaxed at clubs. Like it's perfectly okay to talk to strangers without any formalities or looking like a weirdo. And it's okay to be direct about being attracted to someone.

Overall I like alcohol and music. I don't mind crowds. I don't like all parties though. In fact, I hate small parties or get togethers (less than 30 people), where everyone can hear your conversation and everyone is sort of watching you. You can't disappear into the crowd. At those sorts of things I often go home early and sometimes have a small break down and cry when I get home. It's just another reminder of my rotten social skills. (This actually happened a couple months ago in my English class. At first I had someone to talk to then I was sitting alone feeling horrible. So I took off and cried a bit on my walk home.)


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## Valtron (Jul 6, 2013)

komorikun said:


> I also like that it's okay to be drunk. In most other social situations that is taboo. Alcohol makes it easier for me to talk to people. And I like how social rules are relaxed at clubs. Like it's perfectly okay to talk to strangers without any formalities or looking like a weirdo. And it's okay to be direct about being attracted to someone.
> 
> Overall I like alcohol and music. I don't mind crowds. I don't like all parties though. In fact, I hate small parties or get togethers, where everyone can hear your conversation and everyone is sort of watching you. You can't disappear into the crowd. At those sorts of things I often go home early and sometimes have a small break down and cry when I get home. It's just another reminder of my rotten social skills.


Interesting. I don't like or have the courage to dance in front of strangers. The loud, pounding music is enough to make me want to run out of there. I don't really like alcohol either. Overall, it all just seems so shallow to me. If you weren't drunk in there, would it be the same experience? You'd still have to talk to people like you would at a smaller party.


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

komorikun said:


> The main thing is that it's an easy way to meet guys since I could never make any sort of romantic connection in my day to day life. I have always had few to no friends and don't talk to people at college or at work. I get more nervous with meeting guys from dating sites (too much pressure).
> 
> I also like that it's okay to be drunk. In most other social situations that is taboo. Alcohol makes it easier for me to talk to people. And I like how social rules are relaxed at clubs. Like it's perfectly okay to talk to strangers without any formalities or looking like a weirdo. And it's okay to be direct about being attracted to someone.
> 
> Overall I like alcohol and music. * I don't mind crowds. I don't like all parties though. In fact, I hate small parties or get togethers (less than 30 people), where everyone can hear your conversation and everyone is sort of watching you. You can't disappear into the crowd.* At those sorts of things I often go home early and sometimes have a small break down and cry when I get home. It's just another reminder of my rotten social skills. (This actually happened a couple months ago in my English class. At first I had someone to talk to then I was sitting alone feeling horrible. So I took off and cried a bit on my walk home.)


That makes sense. I'd probably try it if I liked dancing, because I can relate to the bolded part.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Valtron said:


> Interesting. I don't like or have the courage to dance in front of strangers. The loud, pounding music is enough to make me want to run out of there. I don't really like alcohol either. Overall, it all just seems so shallow to me. If you weren't drunk in there, would it be the same experience?


I wouldn't say it's necessarily shallow but yes, it is more overtly sexual. I'd never go to a club sober that's for sure. It was interesting for me to talk to so many strangers in one night since normally I talk to very few people. I didn't go to school from age 13-17. And then went to city college for 2 years where I really didn't make much of any friends. So it was very novel for me the first few times I went. I don't dance much at all either by the way. I'm usually too uptight for that. Maybe for 20 minutes out of 5 hours at the place.



> You'd still have to talk to people like you would at a smaller party.


Big parties/clubs are easier because other people can't eavesdrop very well since it is so loud and because there are so many things going on, usually your friends are looking or doing something else. And I don't feel quite so stupid not talking to anyone since most of the people at the club don't know me. If I felt awkward just standing there I'd move to another part of the club. At a small party you can't do that. And because clubs are more of a meat market than a small gathering you get more guys coming up to talk to you.

I have an easier time talking to people one on one. My greatest difficulty is group conversation. Where 3 or more people are all going at it at once. I hate that s***.


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## Raining Ivy (May 17, 2013)

Dont people with many partners lose count? Like, does someone actually remember if it was 24 or 28 people they've had sex with? Or 42 or 46... Or 63... Does someone really say, "yea, I've been with a few others. Over the years, I've been with 38 different people.". Who says that? Does anyone here with over 25 past partners really know how many?


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## mezzoforte (May 16, 2010)

Raining Ivy said:


> Dont people with many partners lose count? Like, does someone actually remember if it was 24 or 28 people they've had sex with? Or 42 or 46... Or 63... Does someone really say, "yea, I've been with a few others. Over the years, I've been with 38 different people.". Who says that? Does anyone here with over 25 past partners really know how many?


I was wondering the same thing lol. I'd lose count after about 15 probably.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

Excel can help you keep track. I'm not sure how many I've kissed though. I'm guesstimating about double the amount I had sex with.


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## jeremy88 (Jan 5, 2013)

Natey said:


> I agree with a lot of what you are saying man and love that you are standing up for the virtue of chastity, which is virtually non-existent today, but we have to make sure we show people the case for Christ in the most convincing way possible and with lots of love. Like they saying goes... sinners are going to act like sinners. I have immense regret in this area, so I have no authority to judge anyone. Thank goodness for God's forgiveness .


I agree, but I believe in being brutally honest. A lot of people take pride in the things they should feel guilt for. Guilt, repentance, and turning away from sin; these are things all people can do. I also believe all people are loved by God, but that wont spare them of eternal consequences. In my opinion, the key is getting people to hate their sins (by teaching them His law) and love God-sinners have it the other way around.


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## jeremy88 (Jan 5, 2013)

Natey said:


> I accept everyone as they are. I think every person is an invaluable gift and beautiful in their own right. It is sad so many try to attain status by putting other people down, we are all inherently equal.


I'd go one step further and even say Christians aren't any better than anyone else, just more fortunate. If a Christian is a "Christian" to get some sort of social benefit (status) or pride, they are doing it wrong, so to speak. If 10 people are in a burning building, and only 2 end up surviving, are those 2 better people? Should they be proud or humbled?


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## jeremy88 (Jan 5, 2013)

AllToAll said:


> And he's not "disgusting" even though he did sleep with her?
> 
> Also, I read pete has a kid he doesn't send child support to... I think that's more amoral, don't you? :roll


He sinned, but I'm happy that he can at least some of the moral truth. Not paying child support is bad, I'll agree with that.


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## jeremy88 (Jan 5, 2013)

nubly said:


> What if his name is Christian?


He would be a different type of Christian I suppose...lol..


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## JamesWest (Aug 5, 2013)

jeremy88 said:


> He would be a different type of Christian I suppose...lol..


I never understand the term ''different type of Christian''. Could you elaborate the given term in detail.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

jeremy88 said:


> It certainly is  You and everyone else reading should check out Jesus' story if you hadn't already...





Natey said:


> I accept everyone as they are. I think every person is an invaluable gift and beautiful in their own right. It is sad so many try to attain status by putting other people down, we are all inherently equal.
> 
> You are 100% correct in saying that we are all sinners. We all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory God. Yet, when one becomes saved that is when his repentance is shown through sanctification (Becoming more Christ-like) and should stop all persistent sinning.
> 
> ...


The religious forum is that way --->

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f38/

Keep your cult out of my thread.


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## Natey (Sep 16, 2011)

When talking about morality it is hard not to bring up religion sir. As it is a moral basis for so many people in this world.


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## 87wayz (Jul 5, 2012)

Natey said:


> I accept everyone as they are. I think every person is an invaluable gift and beautiful in their own right. It is sad so many try to attain status by putting other people down, we are all inherently equal.
> 
> You are 100% correct in saying that we are all sinners. We all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory God. Yet, when one becomes saved that is when his repentance is shown through sanctification (Becoming more Christ-like) and should stop all persistent sinning.
> 
> ...


This is good to hear. I have been cold to you in the past on the subject of religion, and while I cd still be called an atheist, I have learned to value spirituality (Zen). As long as we don't use faith and righteousness to scold, I think we are doing OK.

...I still disagree with many things you write, but that's OK too!


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## Natey (Sep 16, 2011)

87wayz said:


> This is good to hear. I have been cold to you in the past on the subject of religion, and while I cd still be called an atheist, I have learned to value spirituality (Zen). As long as we don't use faith and righteousness to scold, I think we are doing OK.
> 
> ...I still disagree with many things you write, but that's OK too!


I am glad we can come together at least on a human level. Even stark differences in ideologies doesn't mean we have to be cold to each other. I always appreciate sincerity, and I really feel it here.


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## JamesWest (Aug 5, 2013)

Yes I also give more importance to humanity, feeling of any human being rather than dividing people on a racial basis and giving unequal treatment.


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## leftnips (Aug 8, 2013)

I didn't vote because it really depends on who the person is and their past history regarding relationships and not how many people they've slept with. 

I don't care if they've slept with 75 + women. If they've never, ever cheated in a relationship, that says a lot. 

If they've only slept with two people and cheated on both partners while being in a relationship with them, then that's a big flashing warning sign to stay away. 

Also, this poll is biased against older individuals and/or those who lived the single lives in big cities. I hit the 20 person mark back when I was in my early twenties living the singles life in Manhattan.


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## cafune (Jan 11, 2011)

I'm not fussed about this (didn't vote). It's not like sex must exist within a larger relationship setting or that number (without context) determines trustworthiness / ability to commit. I also don't feel like I need to have a number in common with them (small or large). I wouldn't ask or bring up this topic of conversation, anyway.


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## MidnightBlu (Jun 11, 2006)

It really depends, but in the end as long as he hasn't cheated no matter how many sex partners he's had, I think it'll be okay.


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## Raining Ivy (May 17, 2013)

komorikun said:


> Excel can help you keep track.


HA! Id like to see the column-headers/titles.
Ivy


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## Im only me (Aug 14, 2013)

removed


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

13 partners. total.


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## JohnWalnut (May 2, 2012)

Your graph is wrong. The bars for males don't add up to 100% (unless I'm reading it wrong).


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

isn't it (x7) to see how many sexual partners a girl has had. If she says 3 than its 3x7?


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

JohnWalnut said:


> Your graph is wrong. The bars for males don't add up to 100% (unless I'm reading it wrong).


They're not supposed to add up to 100%

Read it again.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

I really don't want to give a **** about this.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

bwidger85 said:


> I really don't want to give a **** about this.


I do though.


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## JamesWest (Aug 5, 2013)

I have many sex partners but my wife don't know about it but I feel some kind of burden on my mind so is there any way to remove or minimize it as I am addicted to sex.Want relevant advice thank you.


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## JohnWalnut (May 2, 2012)

arnie said:


> They're not supposed to add up to 100%
> 
> Read it again.


I have no clue how it works then :stu


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## Janos (Jun 20, 2013)

Wasn't expecting those results. I put 20+ to be honest. You have to also take into account the person's age. A 40 year old with 10+ partners has had enough time for those relationships that each one of them may have been quite meaningful to the individual.


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## arnie (Jan 24, 2012)

JohnWalnut said:


> I have no clue how it works then :stu


I redid the graph. Does it make sense now?










(with 121 votes in)


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## scarpia (Nov 23, 2009)

8% of the woman and 11% of the men said 40+ is fine. Does that make sense?


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## JohnWalnut (May 2, 2012)

arnie said:


> I redid the graph. Does it make sense now?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Ah, I see now. Very interesting. I disagree that there is a large difference between male and female since we're talking about 4 votes vs 7 votes from a sample of 121 votes. To me it seems like both sexes are about even. That goes against the common belief of stud = good, **** = bad though.


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## jimity (Jan 12, 2011)

Charmander said:


> That's true.
> I just don't get why people would even bring it up unless they were just joking about bad experiences they'd had.
> And if someone was bragging about sleeping with more than 40 they probably wouldn't even be in a r/ship.


I bet heaps of people have had far more partners than that. What about single people who don't have confidence issues. And especially women who like to go out a lot. They sleep with heaps of guys I bet. And they probably brag about it as well.


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## riderless (Jul 21, 2013)

there was let's see...
Mary-lou, Rhonda, Maureen, Mandy, Chris, Bill, Candy, Genevieve, Katie-Jane, Michelle, Jeni, Liz, Bruce, Mary Lou 2, Suzie, Barbarina, Nancy,..I can't think of any more at the moment..that's enough


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## Rich19 (Aug 11, 2012)

Someone probably already noticed this but cba 2 go throgh all posts sooo...

1.you can't write the polls suggest females prefer guys with fewer sexual partners because the question asked what is the maximum aloowed for a basic lvl of trust.
2. the answer with the highest votes is in italics while the rest are not which makes it unfairly stand out.
3.your answers have huge ranges i.e 10-19. mayby all the girls went for 19 and all the boys went for 10 but you treat them as identical data points


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## Milco (Dec 12, 2009)

Rich19 said:


> 2. the answer with the highest votes is in italics while the rest are not which makes it unfairly stand out.


The option you pick becomes italic so you can see what you voted 
Before you vote, they all look the same.

But if you plot the entire series in the cumulative percentages, you'll see that the numbers for men and women are virtually indistinguishable. There is no difference worth mentioning.
The only small difference is that more women than men picked the first option indicating a desire for partners with 0 previous sexual partners. But as the sample size is small (77 men and 56 women), it's likely not of significance.

But this does suggest that women aren't judged more harshly than men for previous partners.


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

riderless said:


> there was let's see...
> Mary-lou, Rhonda, Maureen, Mandy, Chris, Bill, Candy, Genevieve, Katie-Jane, Michelle, Jeni, Liz, Bruce, Mary Lou 2, Suzie, Barbarina, Nancy,..I can't think of any more at the moment..that's enough


Lol.


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## Charmander (Sep 5, 2012)

riderless said:


> there was let's see...
> Mary-lou, Rhonda, Maureen, Mandy, Chris, Bill, Candy, Genevieve, Katie-Jane, Michelle, Jeni, Liz, Bruce, Mary Lou 2, Suzie, Barbarina, Nancy,..I can't think of any more at the moment..that's enough


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