# Haven't made any friends in college.



## 2Milk (Oct 29, 2014)

I've been here 2 years and havent made a single friend. 
Sometimes I think that i might too stuck up and picky with friends. I had friends in high school, i dont understand why I cant make friends here. It feels really lonely having no friends at school.


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## Rosefollicles (Mar 27, 2016)

2Milk said:


> I've been here 2 years and havent made a single friend.
> Sometimes I think that i might too stuck up and picky with friends. I had friends in high school, i dont understand why I cant make friends here. It feels really lonely having no friends at school.


What have you been doing to try and make friends? Maybe there's something in your process that's holding you back?


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## musical94 (Sep 13, 2014)

I've been here for 4.5 years and no close friends lol. All my friends are from childhood. I don't really miss not having friends tbh... my best friend goes to another university literally just down the road (and her family home is one street over from mine in our hometown). But I use not having any friends at school to my advantage. That means more time to study and focus and get good grades so I can get into grad school and stuff. There is a benefit in it! I'm not convincing you to not make friends though! I have had temporary friends here. My first friends were from my first year residence. Everyone was desperate to make friends so it was actually easy to make friends. Then I became friends with a few people in my classes... they would usually make the first "move". Occasionally before class they would ask me if I would like to grab a coffee or something. I would sometimes offer it to them too. Since it was right before class, it was easy to ask them because afterwards we would just walk to class together. I went away to study at Oxford for a semester and I made some new friends. But again, it was because we were all in a new environment and really wanted people to hang out with. Usually I just act nice around people and talk to them when I gather up the courage, but let the other people do the approaching. The part I REALLY suck at (because I'm scared) is keeping in contact! UGHH.


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## komorikun (Jan 11, 2009)

I never made any friends in college either. I never lived in the dorms and never really joined any groups.

I'm guessing most people make friends in the dorms, in school groups, and in classes for their major. But if your major is super popular (1000s at any one time) and they don't have much group work, like mine, then you don't really get to know the people in your classes. In some of the smaller majors you probably end up in smallish classes with the same people semester to semester, so you get to know some of them.


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## TheInvisibleHand (Sep 5, 2015)

I haven't made a single friend in Uni for 5 years.


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## BAH (Feb 12, 2012)

Same..


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## Sean95 (Feb 18, 2017)

Sometimes people just pick a school where they don't fit in socially. That's what happened to me. Don't let it get you down. It's not you, it's probably just the way people at the school are. The social dynamic of a school is one of those things that you can't tell until you actually go there. For me, I always just try and appreciate the friends I have back home. I communicate with them often and it makes me feel a lot less lonely knowing that I have them in my life.


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## andy0128 (Dec 19, 2003)

In dorms i made a few friends, mostly other misfits who didn't mind getting wasted. I never had any friends particularly on the same course. There may well have been a hundred people but i felt like the only one without anyone to sit next to. I guess my SA was more exposed in that environment.


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## Entrensik (Apr 25, 2014)

College sounds like fun


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## Neal (Jan 14, 2012)

By time I started college, I was too old to make friends and it not be weird. It wouldnt have matter how social I was.


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## eukz (Nov 3, 2013)

For normies college is pain. For SA people it's practically hell. Our culture promoted the crap out of college/universities during the 90s and 2000s, and the result has been a depressing dropout rate and a bunch of useless degrees. IMO society made a lot of mistakes on this matter.


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## BlackRedFoxx (Feb 26, 2017)

Same 

College has been a waste of my time that's for sure. No friends only acquaintances at best. Before college there used to be a time when I had something to really fight for with a strong passion. I feel way better when I'm off the place and try to look for places that work my pace. But yeah I have never had any real luck with finding good friends in the schools Ive been to. 

At least it feels better to know that your not alone on this even though it really sucks having to go through it.


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## Evo1114 (Dec 9, 2012)

I didn't make any friends either. There were people I did things with, but I haven't spoken to any of those people in well over a decade. 

And yeah, I too did not live in the dorms. Not having friends is well worth not living in one of those absurd places.


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## railcar82594 (Mar 1, 2016)

I just had school work acquaintances. I dropped out from a higher tiered university because I couldn't live in a dorm. After a while I realized I was socially cursed and just felt screw it. I decided I'd rather finish college even with no friends than wait and see if it could be "fixed" but I realized my SA couldn't be fixed and I was born socially retarded and college years are too late to fix SA which should have been fixed before hs graduation if it ever was going to be fixed.

Rather than ultimately giving up and committing suicide or some other throwaway, I decided I wanted to finish college rather than be an SA freak years later without a college degree. May not have mattered as much as I'm still an SA freak, but I think I got more job interviews than I would have without the degree. And the stuff I did learn helped me better able to read certain trade articles and magazines.



eukz said:


> For normies college is pain. For SA people it's practically hell. Our culture promoted the crap out of college/universities during the 90s and 2000s, and the result has been a depressing dropout rate and a bunch of useless degrees. IMO society made a lot of mistakes on this matter.


i agree this was exactly what happened. What should have been done was to keep the middle class sound and industry involved and incentivized in training young people with or without college degrees. Instead, public education became union controlled and private industry became offshoring global corporatists.


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## Charlib05 (Sep 23, 2013)

I am in my second year, my first year I wasn't fully committed to uni cause of SA and avoidance so I really wanna try harder this year. Actually push myself to go to some clubs but then again I feel as though I'll turn up probs by myself since I only have one friend at uni then be really awkward and standoffish without meaning to and be too quiet and shy to join in. But I'll try I guess. When people try to talk to me first, I can't think of anything to say and if there's a silence I'll think it's been too long to talk so I'll just awkwardly stand there. I overthink a lot..


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## anonymous2889 (Feb 11, 2017)

If they start picking on you, don't get angry, instead, be friendly to them, or start making up jokes, try to "befriend" them somehow. That's what I did to fake my friendship with the bullies through high school.


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## crybaby97 (Jan 14, 2017)

Exact same position here. I somehow messed up freshman year and again sophomore year, and ended up with no one. My friends from high school kind of ditch me now too, so...


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## crybaby97 (Jan 14, 2017)

railcar82594 said:


> I just had school work acquaintances. I dropped out from a higher tiered university because I couldn't live in a dorm. After a while I realized I was socially cursed and just felt screw it. I decided I'd rather finish college even with no friends than wait and see if it could be "fixed" but I realized my SA couldn't be fixed and I was born socially retarded and college years are too late to fix SA which should have been fixed before hs graduation if it ever was going to be fixed.
> 
> Rather than ultimately giving up and committing suicide or some other throwaway, I decided I wanted to finish college rather than be an SA freak years later without a college degree. May not have mattered as much as I'm still an SA freak, but I think I got more job interviews than I would have without the degree. And the stuff I did learn helped me better able to read certain trade articles and magazines.
> 
> i agree this was exactly what happened. What should have been done was to keep the middle class sound and industry involved and incentivized in training young people with or without college degrees. Instead, public education became union controlled and private industry became offshoring global corporatists.


Wow, I just have to say I know exactly how you feel about being born socially unskilled... it feels so damn hopeless


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