# Are American schools really as bad as people think?



## BelieveInFreedom (Jun 29, 2013)

I'm most likely going to sound extremely naive for this but what the hell... 

I live in the UK and from all I've heard and seen, American schools are completely different from English schools, I mean in England people in schools get bullied but it's not because they're fat or different, it's because they show that they are scared, strangely it's like prison. 

What I what to know is if it's really like it's made out. Do you get bullied if you're fat or ''nerdy''..? Are popular people really so much more important? 

When I was at school popular people weren't even that much more important, and a lot of them were friends with people who weren't even popular. Everyone talked to everyone to be honest. The only people who got bullied were the ones that others saw as an easy target because they couldn't defend themselves.


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## TheSeeker (Jun 12, 2013)

For the most part it is like you think. Use to it was more cut and dry. You got bullied if you were fat, ugly, in some cases poor. There had to be something more tangiblely wrong with you. In the last 15 years or so (especially with social media), its gotten kind of blurred. All kids in all public schools kind of segregate themselves into social groups. If anyone in one of those groups doesn't like someone, they will bully them. Even to the point of bullied kids commiting suicide. Instead of dealing with "a bully" you are bulied by everyone that is friends with whoever started it. It spreads on Facebook or Twitter, to the point everyone knows. Being bullied for being the least different in personality or looks ect. American public schools (at least past the 9th grade) they become social and conformist prisons. Act, look, speak, be the same as everyone else. Even those that try to "be different" end up being like the other kids that try to "be different". At least this was my experience. I have been out of school the last 10 years, and I don't miss it. To avoid all that bs, kids either need to go to private school or be home schooled. Then instead of learning all th bs the states want kids to learn, they can be brainwashed by their own parents, into believeing what THEY want them to believe. Not what the truth is. Sorry for the long reply turned rant.


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## FrostSpike (Jun 12, 2013)

Nah most school are pretty good. It's a lot of the city school that can really suck.


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## Luna Sea (Apr 4, 2012)

Your school was different to mine. I went to school in England and people were very much bullied for being fat or nerdy. People are scared because they're bullied, they're not bullied because they're scared.


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## TheSeeker (Jun 12, 2013)

FrostSpike said:


> Nah most school are pretty good. It's a lot of the city school that can really suck.


Yeah I will say that it was wrong for me to stereotype ALL schools that way. I went to a shcool that was in a fairly sizeable city. It might have been/is different in a rural setting.


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## BelieveInFreedom (Jun 29, 2013)

TheSeeker said:


> For the most part it is like you think. Use to it was more cut and dry. You got bullied if you were fat, ugly, in some cases poor. There had to be something more tangiblely wrong with you. In the last 15 years or so (especially with social media), its gotten kind of blurred. All kids in all public schools kind of segregate themselves into social groups. If anyone in one of those groups doesn't like someone, they will bully them. Even to the point of bullied kids commiting suicide. Instead of dealing with "a bully" you are bulied by everyone that is friends with whoever started it. It spreads on Facebook or Twitter, to the point everyone knows. Being bullied for being the least different in personality or looks ect. American public schools (at least past the 9th grade) they become social and conformist prisons. Act, look, speak, be the same as everyone else. Even those that try to "be different" end up being like the other kids that try to "be different". At least this was my experience. I have been out of school the last 10 years, and I don't miss it. To avoid all that bs, kids either need to go to private school or be home schooled. Then instead of learning all th bs the states want kids to learn, they can be brainwashed by their own parents, into believeing what THEY want them to believe. Not what the truth is. Sorry for the long reply turned rant.


It sounds ridiculous. In my school it was completely different. Defiantly like a prison, mainly because it was in a rough area, you kind of had to make a name for yourself. The only people who got bullied were the ones who couldn't fight or looks like they couldn't.

The people who were popular were the pretty girls but IMO, a lot of them were rather ugly. They never had any problems speaking to people who weren't popular unless they didn't wash or something. The popular lads were usually the hard ones, or obviously the good looking but most were really nice and spoke to anyone.

I myself was in a social group of skaters, then turned to stoners later on in school years.


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## BelieveInFreedom (Jun 29, 2013)

Luna Sea said:


> People are scared because they're bullied, they're not bullied because they're scared.


I disagree. If you go around a school showing you are scared you'd be seen as an easy target.


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## Luna Sea (Apr 4, 2012)

BelieveInFreedom said:


> I disagree. If you go around a school showing you are scared you'd be seen as an easy target.


Maybe. But the number one reason people are scared is because they've been bullied before. I was bullied throughout primary school, so you bet your arse I was scared in secondary school.


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## BelieveInFreedom (Jun 29, 2013)

Luna Sea said:


> Maybe. But the number one reason people are scared is because they've been bullied before. I was bullied throughout primary school, so you bet your arse I was scared in secondary school.


I'm sorry to hear that mate, It must have been horrible to go through...

I always think and a lot of other people do also that if you stand up to them they'll back off. The reason they keep doing it is because they know they can.

I went from a school in a really classy area. On the street I lived as a child, I was bullied a lot by a certain lad. When I was about to finish primary school, he told my Mum that he'd be ''waiting for me,'' I never knew at the time. My Mum decided for a fresh start and we moved, It wasn't very far away, it was around a half-hours drive.

I went to this school and it was completely different from my primary school, extremely rough and I didn't know anyone at all. I told myself I'd take a stand so it wouldn't be like before. There came a day soon into the first year where an older lad stole my friends football, long story short, I pretty much beat him up in front of his friends and since then I was fine through the rest of school. A few people wound me up, but that was my own friends and it was just silly banter.


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## BelieveInFreedom (Jun 29, 2013)

Segafage said:


> Hi,
> 
> Well, I think it depends were the school is located? I have been to many schools, (United Sates mainly, Canada, 5 months in the UK and 4 months in Australia). The schools in Brighton had more 'structure' and we had to wear uniforms, however it still had the "cattyness" and drama to it, just more hidden away, whilst in the schools in the States were even bluntly open in public mean. I also noticed the huge difference in public vs private schools (some aspects private being worse).


It sounds for some people like it's utter torture in the states. I also think that considering people stay at school for so much longer and sports is such a popular thing, a lot of pupils would be quite muscular, hard to defend themselves against.


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## trymed (Jun 28, 2013)

They pray to a flag and then pretend to shoot at brown people. :|


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## Glass Child (Feb 28, 2013)

It is terrible. I'm so glad that I can just hide in the crowd now and act like I belong.

You can get picked at for almost anything.


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## BelieveInFreedom (Jun 29, 2013)

Glass Child said:


> It is terrible. I'm so glad that I can just hide in the crowd now and act like I belong.
> 
> You can get picked at for almost anything.


From the replies, it sounds utterly horrible. I don't understand why someone would get enjoyment from bulling someone else. People are just plain cruel.


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## always starting over (Mar 15, 2013)

I was a loser in high school, but I never got bullied there. I had a couple incidents in elementary school but that's it. Maybe I got lucky or something, I just don't know. There were plenty of kids in my school who pretended to be gangbangers, but I never had to really deal with physical confrontation. Mostly people would just make fun of me, but I got used to not taking it seriously.


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## BelieveInFreedom (Jun 29, 2013)

always starting over said:


> I was a loser in high school, but I never got bullied there. I had a couple incidents in elementary school but that's it. Maybe I got lucky or something, I just don't know. There were plenty of kids in my school who pretended to be gangbangers, but I never had to really deal with physical confrontation. Mostly people would just make fun of me, but I got used to not taking it seriously.


You should never call yourself a loser, the only losers are the pr*cks who bully people.

People pretending... Makes me think that they were trying to be tough so they wouldn't be victims, most people can see right through that though.


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## Malek (Oct 4, 2012)

People get bullied everywhere, how worse it is depends on the school and how they enact the no bullying policy there. Public schools tend to suck more than private, mostly. Yet there will always be wolves preying on lambs everywhere...


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## KelsKels (Oct 4, 2011)

I didn't have that much of a problem in high school. I was bullied really badly in elementary.. but I think people grow up a bit more by high school. Notice I said a BIT more. There was always a lot of cliques, But it wasn't that bad. I got a lot of rude hurtful comments from girls that didn't like me.. but it wasn't a steal your lunch money and shove you in a locker kind of thing. We didn't even have lockers anyways.


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## Metalhead1014 (May 4, 2013)

From schools i been to both public and private, its terrible. You can get pick on for anything even for being the most quiet person in school or tried to socialize with different people but people look at you as different and just start to reject you (i know it life but it suck at the same time) then sometime process to picking on you. Its really pathetic. Their been a lot of school shooting in the U.S. because they're either crazy or got bullied by someone. You can't even go to school peacefully with the bullying (teachers too) and random shooting that had been going on. Its sad really.


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## Veritastar (Aug 16, 2011)

I was never picked on directly, but people talked behind my back. Most of the time I was talked over, looked over and ignored.


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## Steinerz (Jul 15, 2013)

Uh they are okay at least where i went to. I don't think in my 4 years of high school I saw any bullying and it was actually kind of nice. For some reason I was friends with a lot of people from various areas. Jocks nerds you name it I was friends with them all. I think people grew up enough by then to know right from wrong? I mean I even befriended some seniors who also thought I was a senior as a freshman because they saw I was eating alone, so it was an interesting experience. I still mainly enjoyed eating alone though.
Kids who were bullies and schmucks in elementary and middle school, I still despised, even though they left that attitude in the past.

Middle and Elementary school however was complete **** of an experience for me. Constant fights and raging hormones everywhere. Guys not knowing how to handle the fact that their balls dropped and kids being kids and not knowing right from wrong. I hated Middle and Elementary school. Terrible time of my life. I think I would have enjoyed being homeschooled until high school to avoid the drama and ****.


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## cc1991 (Apr 23, 2013)

Not every American school is like this. But it seems that American teens can be pretty stereotypical (due to social conditioning, the media, societal expectations, and the media. Oh, did I mention the media?).

But everyone is an individual. In the states individualism is promoted, but underneath it all is a rigid system of conformity. In general our media is extremely superficial, narcissistic, and degrading. Teens, not all teens, are heavily influenced by the ever present message, "you have to be famous to be special or loved." Sites like Facebook, Tumblr, and Youtube promote the idea that if you look a certain way or have certain things, or you're a certain type of way you matter more or are better. It's becoming pervasive to the point social media is the opening of knowing a person, instead of actually knowing a person.

I'm not a teenager, but I'm an American. Sometimes high school was okay, but it's become (our society) so much about social status and whose who.

It's sad and competitive all at once. Not terrible, but very sad and draining all the same.


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## LonelyNomadJermaine (Jul 28, 2013)

depends cause each part of the U.S. greatly differs from the other, as far as I know being an inner city NYC student I'm gonna say yes I hated nearly everyone from elementary school to high school including the staff


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## Sameer (Feb 2, 2010)

BelieveInFreedom said:


> From the replies, it sounds utterly horrible. I don't understand why someone would get enjoyment from bulling someone else. People are just plain cruel.


Because those people are nothing but crap.When i had anxiety before,i experienced few bad moments but ever since i overcame anxiety,i don't afraid or get nervous around with people like that because i can talk back and shut their mouth if they say anything bad about me directly.


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## anonymouus (Aug 2, 2013)

With my high school experience, everybody got along. There were some cases where the cliques clashed and fought but everybody was pretty chill.


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## TheFather (Sep 20, 2012)

I went to high school in the inner city. Not good at all. Most classes were horrible, and half of the teachers were sports coaches. 

I was in all AP classes, and would have gotten straight A's if I'd done homework. I had a few good teachers and marching band, so it was a little better. I never experienced direct bullying, but a lot of other kids did. It was horrible.


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## afff (Dec 27, 2012)

American school:
Most kids don't learn shiit. THe tall goodlooking athletic dudes bang all the girls. Nerds and fat kids never get laid. Get bullied and girls laugh at them. 

that sums it up pretty much.


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## Alexis1213 (Jun 20, 2012)

It's pretty bad. x.x Fights almost everyday in High School, a lot of pregnant teens, a lot of trash talk and bullying. A lot of drugs involved. But it depends on what school you go to. Public, Religious school, or private.

Public schools are the worse.


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## SmallSteps (Aug 2, 2013)

I went to public school, but I guess I was lucky and avoided the bullying. I used to have long hair and dress in all black so most kids thought I was just some "goth" kid (ugh, I was metalhead not goth!!!) :roll *facepalm*


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## TheFather (Sep 20, 2012)

Alexis1213 said:


> It's pretty bad. x.x Fights almost everyday in High School, a lot of pregnant teens, a lot of trash talk and bullying. A lot of drugs involved. But it depends on what school you go to. Public, Religious school, or private.
> 
> Public schools are the worse.


This is basically what my high school was like. The cops were there at least once a week to carry away two guys fighting.

A fire was started once by somebody putting a joint in a trash can.

Pregnant girls were common. Baby mommas whose futures lied in welfare and food stamps.


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## SmallSteps (Aug 2, 2013)

I also forgot to add that three girls I went to high school with also ended up doing amateur porn, and one of my ex gf's from high school ended up marrying an internet pornstar. Hooray for public education!


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## BelieveInFreedom (Jun 29, 2013)

afff said:


> American school:
> Most kids don't learn shiit. THe tall goodlooking athletic dudes bang all the girls. Nerds and fat kids never get laid. Get bullied and girls laugh at them.
> 
> that sums it up pretty much.


That sounds like every American high school movie I've ever watched.


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## BelieveInFreedom (Jun 29, 2013)

SmallSteps said:


> I also forgot to add that three girls I went to high school with also ended up doing amateur porn, and one of my ex gf's from high school ended up marrying an internet pornstar. Hooray for public education!


I've got this image in my mind of your high school being called ''Nympho High.'' :lol


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## Anonymous Loner (Mar 3, 2013)

I wouldn't say _every_ American school is like that but mine is. In my school, there is bullying, but it mostly occurs in the hallways or other places - even sometimes out of school - and it's always verbal. Cliques also exist here and while they're not really acknowledged by most of us, we all know the cliques and stick to our own ones. Popularity does seem to be very important here, because if you aren't popular you're nearly in all cases automatically an outcast and you'll either have to stick with others who aren't or you'll likely end up a loner. There are the popular kids, the semi-popular, the "normal" ones who are either not popular or are at the very low end of popularity, the "emos"/rebels/whatever you call them, and most of the other ones who are unpopular are "nerds" or simply ignored to the point that they more or less don't have a label. I always hang out with the rebels, the nerds, and the normal ones.

My case is a bit of a strange one. I was solely with the rebels during the early part of last year, as my best friend from the year before moved and I had nowhere else to turn when he left. By the middle I was still with that group, but I often times sat at the very edge of the lunch table where we sat and cried, because all of them were happy and constantly chatted with each other and seemed to have stopped caring about me. Eventually I went into a horrible downward spiral into depression because of my family, feeling entirely ignored by everyone at school, and the fact that schoolwork and homework in general were becoming too much for me. I eventually developed selective mutism which only hurt my relationship with my family and "friends" even more and while I was always shy and a bit socially anxious, my anxiety surged upwards to the point that I was uncomfortable leaving the home and if I were to ever leave the house I would be so afraid of people looking at me and judging me that I started walking stiffly and awkwardly whenever not in the house and to this day I can't fix that problem.

By the end of the year I completely gave up on school and the majority of my grades plummeted, but my relationship with my friends and family was getting back on track and I was starting to lose my selective mutism and depression. I still have social anxiety now, but it's not even as close as intense as it was before. I was also quite paranoid that people were talking behind my back, but I was probably right about them talking about me.

Now that it's nearly the end of summer I'm freaking out a bit because simply thinking of the term "school" stresses me out and depresses me a bit, but after months of sitting alone in my room browsing the web and plus many more months of therapy I've learned to not care about whether or not I have friends. Of course I still want more friends who I can relate to, but at the same time I'm fine with not having any and while I am still socially anxious I'm starting to lean more on the Schizoid side now. Might even be very slightly Schizotypal, but I'm not sure about that.

Ultimately, to summarize it, the bullying in my school tends to be more subtle and it's always either verbal or it has to do with people not including others - both of which destroyed me last year. Popularity seems to be much too important here which honestly saddens me, because we should all be getting along instead of stabbing each other's backs for "being different". Loners, introverts, shy people, and socially anxious people seem to especially have a hard time fitting in here - I know that for a fact because I'm not the only one.



SmallSteps said:


> I went to public school, but I guess I was lucky and avoided the bullying. I used to have long hair and dress in all black so most kids thought I was just some "goth" kid (ugh, I was metalhead not goth!!!) :roll *facepalm*


I can relate to that. While I don't dress in all black, it is one of my preferred colors and I'm also a bit of a metalhead.


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