# deal breakers



## Tasha (Feb 10, 2004)

what are yours?


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## Equisgurl (Nov 22, 2004)

arrogance, self absorbance, selfishness, and anything pertaining to that, also clingyness, and lack of patience/understanding, closed mindedness.


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

Self-centred, unintelligent, not wanting a family, drugs, habitual excessive drinking and smoking.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

*Re: re: deal breakers*

Smoking / excessive drinking

Also, being overly insensitive/callous.


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## NightinGale (Oct 27, 2005)

Being mean/putting others down--never attractive


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## Kardax (Dec 29, 2004)

Depression, intolerance, addictions to narcotics (including cigarettes), closed-mindedness...

...that about covers it. There are other things I would consider "problems", but not deal-breakers.

-Ryan


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I've never been on a date but these things would be deal breakers for me: 

*Poor grammar and punctuation and the use of internet abbreviations like "LOL".

*Asking within the first few dates about my views on marriage and family. Actually, a girl being really gung ho to get married and have kids is a deal breaker because I will never do it. I wouldn't date a woman who has to have a man in her life to feel validated as a human being. 

*Smacking one's lips and/or chewing with one's mouth open; it's my biggest pet peeve.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

Annoying me.

That's it.


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## Futures (Aug 27, 2005)

Dealbreakers
-not attractive
-smoker
-has kids
-bad personality
-overweight
-illiegal drug use (except maybe occasional weed use)
-history of infidelity
-uneducated, with poor future job possibilities


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

Violence, arrogance/superiority, judgemental


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## IcedOver (Feb 26, 2007)

I wouldn't say that Futures is asking too much. It seems reasonable. I'll add some of his to my list:

*Smoker (Simply disgusting.)
*Drinker to excess (Occasional drinking is fine.)
*Has kids
*Has been married


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## mserychic (Oct 2, 2004)

*Re: re: deal breakers*

Guess mine are pretty standard.. lieing, violence, drug abuser, lack of trust.


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## Veggie1 (Jan 12, 2006)

Kills or otherwise abuses animals under the guise of calling it a 'sport' (hunting, fishing, rodeo, etc.) is the biggest deal breaker of all. 
Eats meat/fish. Not to mention kissing someone who eats dead animals is gross. :b 

Other deal breakers:
Abusive, either physically or mentally.
Illicit substances.
Excessive alcohol.
Compulsive gambler.
Ogles other women/talks about what he likes in other women.
Sleeps with other women (or men :um)
Arrogant/snobby.
Smokes.
Unemployed with no means of supporting himself (as in moocher).
**Edited to add: Employed and is a moocher.

And, yes, I am prepared to live alone 'til I die.


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## BeNice (Jan 2, 2004)

The dealbreaker for me would be most girls that frequent the bar scene in coastal New Jersey, college students (with some exceptions always), and girls that have problems with hair follicles on at least half of the lower penis.


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

*Re: re: deal breakers*



Veggie1 said:


> Kills or otherwise abuses animals under the guise of calling it a 'sport' (hunting, fishing, rodeo, etc.) is the biggest deal breaker of all.
> Eats meat/fish. Not to mention kissing someone who eats dead animals is gross. :b


After reading this, I take back my above statement about compromise...or at least clarify that there are certain things that can and should be overlooked.

My aunt is a vegetarian, her husband eats meat (and lots of it) and neither have a problem with each other's choice of food.

Having meat part of your diet is a healthy choice. Not having meat in your diet can be a healthy choice as long as you supplement the protein otherwise. There is no problem with either eating habits. Not wanting to date a guy because he eats meat is just too shallow. It's not even comparable to things like smoking and drugs (things that kill you slowly).


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## Mayflower 2000 (Nov 11, 2003)

*Re: re: deal breakers*



PGVan said:


> Having meat part of your diet is a healthy choice. Not having meat in your diet can be a healthy choice as long as you supplement the protein otherwise. There is no problem with either eating habits. Not wanting to date a guy because he eats meat is just too shallow. It's not even comparable to things like smoking and drugs (things that kill you slowly).


That's not fact though. That's just your opinion. There isn't anything inherently wrong with using drugs or smoking cigarettes, because neither things necessarily kill. Smoking daily might, but even that ... why care so much? Unless you want to also make a deal breaker that the person has to care a lot about their long term future (basically they cant be depressed or anything)

My main deal breaker is being overly dogmatic or opinionated. I like when people are open to different points of view. This makes it so much easier to have differences and be understanding and comfortable with them. If they're really rigid, it's like trying to communicate with a rock... it just doesn't work. 2+2 may equal 4 but no matter how hard you try, they will insist that it equals 5, and usually will also be pissed if you don't also agree that it equals 5.


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## Veggie1 (Jan 12, 2006)

*Re: re: deal breakers*



PGVan said:


> Veggie1 said:
> 
> 
> > Kills or otherwise abuses animals under the guise of calling it a 'sport' (hunting, fishing, rodeo, etc.) is the biggest deal breaker of all.
> ...


 Sorry, I thought I was choosing my deal breakers. I didn't realize you were.

I disagree that meat is a healthy choice but that's not why I stopped eating it anyway. I used to eat meat and it now grosses me out because it is a dead animal. Caring about animals is hardly shallow. It's my deal breaker whether you like it or not. Sheesh.


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## Classified (Dec 7, 2004)

Veggie should watch this clip that shows Douglas Adams reading a part from 'The Hitchikers Guide To The Galaxy'. It almost makes me want to become a vegetarian. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWuyLu392bc#

To keep this post on topic, my turn offs are smoking, not willing to try things that are suggested, not liking me, not liking other people (unless there is a reason to not like them, then I will not like them too), has kids, judgmental, seriously flirts with others, and probably a few other things.


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

*Re: re: deal breakers*



Mayflower 2000 said:


> My main deal breaker is being overly dogmatic or opinionated. I like when people are open to different points of view. This makes it so much easier to have differences and be understanding and comfortable with them. If they're really rigid, it's like trying to communicate with a rock... it just doesn't work. 2+2 may equal 4 but no matter how hard you try, they will insist that it equals 5, and usually will also be pissed if you don't also agree that it equals 5.


Well said, Mayflower!!! :yes


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

*Re: re: deal breakers*



Mayflower 2000 said:


> That's not fact though. That's just your opinion.


Meat being healthy is not my opinion. It is fact. Meat provides protein and protein is necessary for a healthy diet.



Veggie1 said:


> I disagree that meat is a healthy choice but that's not why I stopped eating it anyway. I used to eat meat and it now grosses me out because it is a dead animal. Caring about animals is hardly shallow. It's my deal breaker whether you like it or not. Sheesh.


You can't disagree that meat is a healthy choice. It is. I never said it was the only healthy choice. There are alternatives to get your protein, but meat is the most natural choice. (It's even more natural and probably healthier for you if you hunt for your meat, but I'm not opening that debate here.)

This has nothing to do with caring about animals. I grew up with pets, but I still eat meat. There is something called the food chain, and it is not a man-made creation.

I don't care if anybody is a vegetarian, but if your deal breaker is going to be a guy's choice of diet, I hope you're prepared to be alone for a long, long time, and for a reason not associated to social anxiety. I'm not trying to be mean, just realistic. If a woman I connected with rejected me because I eat meat, then she doesn't deserve me, not the other way around.


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## Mayflower 2000 (Nov 11, 2003)

*Re: re: deal breakers*



PGVan said:


> Mayflower 2000 said:
> 
> 
> > That's not fact though. That's just your opinion.
> ...


Meat isn't necessarily healthy at all. It often is very unhealthy. Particularily newer research tends to show this. But anyway I wasn't just referring to that, rather I was referring to your assertion that drug use always slowly kills people, which is completely false. If you're going to talk about risks, then don't date anyone who forgets to use a seatbelt, or takes SSRIs or other _drugs_, or ever jaywalks...



Veggie1 said:


> I don't care if anybody is a vegetarian, but if your deal breaker is going to be a guy's choice of diet, I hope you're prepared to be alone for a long, long time, and for a reason not associated to social anxiety. I'm not trying to be mean, just realistic. If a woman I connected with rejected me because I eat meat, then she doesn't deserve me, not the other way around.


You might be getting the wrong idea. I don't think she's talking about diet in itself but rather the fact of eating meat. Maybe as a veggie she wouldn't like seeing bloody steaks on her dinner table every evening? Maybe it's a little picky but we all have our particulars that we get overly bothered with. I don't see how it's any more picky than not dating someone who doesn't want kids, or not dating someone because they use 'drugs'... and personally I like eating meat and all.



Penny said:


> Well said, Mayflower!!! :yes


Related to that I'll mention I think it's important if the person can recognize that they're wrong sometimes. Not just about relationship issues but anything in life. Including myself. Like everyone else, I say and think wrong things all the time (yep I'm stupid! hehe)! The important thing is trying to recognize that and work with it, rather than assuming being right all the time. So I guess a deal breaker for me is an excess of a person assuming something to be 100% confident fact when really it's just based on enough evidence to call it a wild guess. A lot of people are like that though, they all have their 'opinions', and if you say "but you have no proof", they just say "its just my opinion". :fall


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## LostinReverie (Mar 18, 2007)

*Re: re: deal breakers*



PGVan said:


> I don't care if anybody is a vegetarian, but if your deal breaker is going to be a guy's choice of diet, I hope you're prepared to be alone for a long, long time, and for a reason not associated to social anxiety. I'm not trying to be mean, just realistic. If a woman I connected with rejected me because I eat meat, then she doesn't deserve me, not the other way around.


Exactly! Veggie, didn't you know that you are the only vegetarian in the world? You must compromise your value system in order to be happy with another person. If you don't, then you are unworthy. Everyone knows that the only deserving people are those who eat meat. What the hell could you be thinking?

Sheesh.


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## Veggie1 (Jan 12, 2006)

*Re: re: deal breakers*



LostInReverie said:


> Exactly! Veggie, didn't you know that you are the only vegetarian in the world? You must compromise your value system in order to be happy with another person. If you don't, then you are unworthy. Everyone knows that the only deserving people are those who eat meat. What the hell could you be thinking?
> 
> Sheesh.


 So it seems. :lol


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## justlistening (Dec 4, 2006)

I can't think of anything specific that would suddenly stop me from being attracted to someone.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

What if they tried to kill you in your sleep?


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## PGVan (May 22, 2004)

*Re: re: deal breakers*



LostInReverie said:


> Exactly! Veggie, didn't you know that you are the only vegetarian in the world? You must compromise your value system in order to be happy with another person. If you don't, then you are unworthy. Everyone knows that the only deserving people are those who eat meat. What the hell could you be thinking?
> 
> Sheesh.


Why put words into my mouth? Honestly.

How convenient that you ignore that I stated that I don't care who is and isn't a vegetarian. If anybody is going to look at me in a negative light because I eat meat, that is not my problem.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

njodis said:


> What if they tried to kill you in your sleep?


depends if they succeed


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## oceanchief (Jan 6, 2007)

My deal breakers are thus - if they is hairless, they have less than 8 nipples, if they don't obey the following vocal commands 'sit' 'stay' 'roll over' and 'STOP LICKING MY FEET!!'.

Oh, also, if they poop, or wee on the floor more than once a week.


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

i probably have too many. no blondes, smokers, drug addicts, alcoholics, someone with a low libido, (too) short hair, (too) overweight, no personality, ugly feet


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## WineKitty (Nov 26, 2004)

*Re: re: deal breakers*



Gumaro said:


> i probably have too many. no blondes, smokers, drug addicts, alcoholics, someone with a low libido, (too) short hair, (too) overweight, no personality, ugly feet


Gumaro you know I adore you and most of your list is as it should be.

But short hair :stu ??

I am with you on the ugly feet thing though..yuck!! :lol !!! :b


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

I love short hair on women. One of my crushes in highschool pretty much had a guy's haircut.

Wait... I don't really know what that says about me. :lol


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## nubly (Nov 2, 2006)

yes short hair. i think one of the sexiest things women can do is wear a pony tail. even better when they wear a baseball hat. and i love combing and shampooing long hair.


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## Drella (Dec 4, 2004)

As a 600 lb blonde with a crew cut and clubbed feet, I am deeply offended. Ah well, at least I have my incredibly low libido to fall back on. Oh.... damn it.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

njodis said:


> I love short hair on women. One of my crushes in highschool pretty much had a guy's haircut.
> 
> Wait... I don't really know what that says about me. :lol


You would've loved the bowl cut I was sportin' in junior high. hahaha


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

It would have gone great with my mini mullet.


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## Razorblade Kiss (Oct 29, 2006)

Hell yeah. We could've ruled the school baybee.


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## LoneLioness (Nov 16, 2003)

I have way too many to list :lol


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## Whimsy (Mar 16, 2006)

Smoking, excessive drinking, long hair, overweight, no sense of humor (thats a big one! I love it when guys joke around about everything!) Shyness (I need someone whose talkative it brings me out of my shell and I don't seem quiet anymore while I'm around them).


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

*Re: re: deal breakers*



Equisgurl said:


> arrogance, self absorbance, selfishness, and anything pertaining to that, also clingyness, and lack of patience/understanding, closed mindedness.


Wow you're strict :b

I'd say for me it's some girl that's clickish and thinks she's all that. Rich type girls that think they're in their own little socioeconomic class. Screw that. I'd rather kiss a dog.


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## oceanchief (Jan 6, 2007)

I love kissing dogs!!!!! What you trying to say man?


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## VCL XI (Jan 19, 2004)

Herd mentality syndrome. Which is pretty much all you see on dating sites.


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## AdamCanada (Dec 6, 2003)

holy crap, alot of anti smokers here!

oh well, the gf smokes to.

and the vegetarian thing, i probably couldn't go out with a one(nor one go out with me) because i would call her crazy every night at dinner. Plus i hunt and fish and wouldn't give that up for any girl. My old man has to deal with this from his gf, it drives me nuts to watch. Shes worse then a vegetarian(not that theres anything wrong with that(sienfield)) though because she eats meat and still thinks hunting is oh so bad.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Nothing really, but I hate women with the "princess" mentality/delusion ("I want to live like a princess and be treated like one by a prince"). It's a shame that we're still raising little girls to believe in that ****. People who feel a sense of entitlement because they were born female.


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## njodis (Nov 8, 2006)

I dunno. I'd love to live like a prince with my princess in a nice, big castle. :b


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## sctork (Oct 23, 2006)

I would never date a guy who has kids.

I don't even want kids of of my own, so I def. won't be putting up with someone elses'. Not to mention, I would feel bad taking away time that he could (should) be spending with them instead.


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## srschirm (Jun 25, 2006)

Not a deal breaker, but I saw the mention of short hair on women and that's something I love! I don't mind longer hair either though, I just have a thing for shorter hair.


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## Prodigal Son (Dec 11, 2005)

Getting slapped in the face, generally this is a bad idea ladies, plus it hurts my feelings, doesn't hurt so much physically. Also, getting any alcohol thrown in my face, man that really burns the eyes! Now that is physical pain! Some people just don't think though or they don't care. Yeah, I have low standards, but pretty much assault or battery is a big no.  

Also, like cheating on me...repeatedly. Oh and then lying about it. Not cool!


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## Mayflower 2000 (Nov 11, 2003)

*Re: re: deal breakers*



srschirm said:


> Not a deal breaker, but I saw the mention of short hair on women and that's something I love! I don't mind longer hair either though, I just have a thing for shorter hair.


What do you mean by short? Like really short or just short compared to most women?
By coincidence, three of the four women I've dated had shorter hair than I did. 
A friend's girlfriend shaved her head once. She looked alright.


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## vicente (Nov 10, 2003)

Prodigal Son said:


> Getting slapped in the face, generally this is a bad idea ladies, plus it hurts my feelings, doesn't hurt so much physically. Also, getting any alcohol thrown in my face, man that really burns the eyes! Now that is physical pain! Some people just don't think though or they don't care. Yeah, I have low standards, but pretty much assault or battery is a big no.
> 
> Also, like cheating on me...repeatedly. Oh and then lying about it. Not cool!


Aww, I really hope those things didn't happen to you!

Somehow in our "gender-equality" society, women can get away with assault and battery.


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