# Intense Hatred and Anger



## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

Whenever I feel like I'm being insulted or made fun of (especially online), I get extremely angry, and legitimately hate the person until I get an apology or explanation. Not even just "annoyance" or just being "pissed off" at them. I literally *hate* them :x.

Like I want horrible things to happen to them and their family/loved ones :twisted, and if I could do it myself I would. I don't just want them to die (which I think is extreme in itself), I want them to feel extreme amounts of pain and terror before they meet their end. Or maybe not even to die, just so that they could be terrified of me and I could guarantee that they wouldnt try to mess with me again. Really sick and twisted stuff over a petty insult. If I could control my emotions I would but I feel like the anger is just overwhelming. I feel like anyone who would resort to doing such a thing (online especially) to make someone else feel bad about themselves deserves it, and I know in my heart that they don't and that thinking this way is wrong.

I would never act on these thoughts, but the fact that I think this way and feel this intense hatred for anyone who decides to try to make me feel bad about myself is just wrong. Is there a name for this? Is it a disorder, something to do with intense hatred towards people without proper justification? Any help would be appreciated, thanks


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## confinedbyanxiety (Oct 28, 2011)

I think people with SAD (IMO because I know I want to avoid confrontation and so am guilty of this) DONT STAND UP for themselves at the time of someone putting the spot light on you in any way (could mean calling you out online about your opinion/in person in front of other people/etc.) so you bundle it up, and feel almost abused, so this leads you to feel really angry that they have been able to treat you so badly. 
ALSO, the fact that they probably feel nothing/dont feel bad because they dont understand your sensitivity to something. So they go on in their lives totally happy (in your mind) and you have to suffer with their bad comments/how they make you feel.

My advice is stand up for yourself at the time (or at least try to). If someone says something that is starting to make you mad.. SAY IT  Try to stay calm and just let them know that what they are saying is really offensive and you're done with the conversation... this might make you feel like you are getting your power back (with your feelings). Hope this helps


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

confinedbyanxiety said:


> I think people with SAD (IMO because I know I want to avoid confrontation and so am guilty of this) DONT STAND UP for themselves at the time of someone putting the spot light on you in any way (could mean calling you out online about your opinion/in person in front of other people/etc.) so you bundle it up, and feel almost abused, so this leads you to feel really angry that they have been able to treat you so badly.
> *ALSO, the fact that they probably feel nothing/dont feel bad because they dont understand your sensitivity to something. So they go on in their lives totally happy (in your mind) and you have to suffer with their bad comments/how they make you feel.*
> 
> My advice is stand up for yourself at the time (or at least try to). If someone says something that is starting to make you mad.. SAY IT  Try to stay calm and just let them know that what they are saying is really offensive and you're done with the conversation... this might make you feel like you are getting your power back (with your feelings). Hope this helps


Thanks for the response, and I think you're right, especially about the bold. I can't stand the fact that they can just mosey on with their happy lives while I stay miserable and dwell on their negative comments about me, so the anger just boils up inside of me.

I do try to defend myself usually, but I feel like I'm not very good at it because I don't like confrontation, so maybe I'll try what you said about telling them I was offended. I also think it doesn't help that I can't really tell anyone how/why I'm upset (I have practically no friends, that's usually who people complain to), so I just keep it inside.

But I'll definitely try what you suggested, thanks again


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## confinedbyanxiety (Oct 28, 2011)

Hopeful25 said:


> Thanks for the response, and I think you're right, especially about the bold. I can't stand the fact that they can just mosey on with their happy lives while I stay miserable and dwell on their negative comments about me, so the anger just boils up inside of me.
> 
> I do try to defend myself usually, but I feel like I'm not very good at it because I don't like confrontation, so maybe I'll try what you said about telling them I was offended. I also think it doesn't help that I can't really tell anyone how/why I'm upset (*I have practically no friends, that's usually who people complain to), so I just keep it inside.*
> 
> But I'll definitely try what you suggested, thanks again


You have to let it out... try starting a secret journal that you write in whenever you are really upset.. if a situation didnt go the way you wanted it to, write how you would have liked it to go... and how you FEEL. Not the immediate, I "f***in hate that person" but the real feelings underneath... like I feel worthless because that person said that about me. Then try to look at it from an unbiased perspection and if someone else told you that happened to them, what would you say??? Probably "look man, that person doesnt even know you"... or "they have a lot going on in their life right now, they are directing their anger at you"

Also, do you want to have more friends?? Maybe if you start a journal and also focus your energy on meeting some like minded people you will feel better  I have only a few friends )1 best best friend and actually dont wish to have "lots of friends" so that is why I ask (maybe you dont want to make new friends) BUT, if you do... think about what you are into... go online and find some groups in your area that do the same things and JOIN them... it will get you out of your shell, and around people with the same values. Hope this helps


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## Hopeful25 (Aug 8, 2011)

confinedbyanxiety said:


> You have to let it out... try starting a secret journal that you write in whenever you are really upset.. if a situation didnt go the way you wanted it to, write how you would have liked it to go... and how you FEEL. Not the immediate, I "f***in hate that person" but the real feelings underneath... like I feel worthless because that person said that about me. Then try to look at it from an unbiased perspection and if someone else told you that happened to them, what would you say??? Probably "look man, that person doesnt even know you"... or "they have a lot going on in their life right now, they are directing their anger at you"
> 
> Also, do you want to have more friends?? Maybe if you start a journal and also focus your energy on meeting some like minded people you will feel better  I have only a few friends )1 best best friend and actually dont wish to have "lots of friends" so that is why I ask (maybe you dont want to make new friends) BUT, if you do... think about what you are into... go online and find some groups in your area that do the same things and JOIN them... it will get you out of your shell, and around people with the same values. Hope this helps


That's a good idea about the journal. And yeah I do want/need friends very badly :no. I'm trying to join a few clubs at my college right now actually so I hope that helps. Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it


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## lazy (Nov 19, 2008)

if going with the journal idea you might as well read chapter 3 and 7 in David Burns' Feeling Good The New Mood Therapy and apply it


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## BoilingPoint (Nov 13, 2011)

Hopeful25 said:


> Whenever I feel like I'm being insulted or made fun of (especially online), I get extremely angry, and legitimately hate the person until I get an apology or explanation. Not even just "annoyance" or just being "pissed off" at them. I literally *hate* them :x.
> 
> Like I want horrible things to happen to them and their family/loved ones :twisted, and if I could do it myself I would. I don't just want them to die (which I think is extreme in itself), I want them to feel extreme amounts of pain and terror before they meet their end. Or maybe not even to die, just so that they could be terrified of me and I could guarantee that they wouldnt try to mess with me again. Really sick and twisted stuff over a petty insult. If I could control my emotions I would but I feel like the anger is just overwhelming. I feel like anyone who would resort to doing such a thing (online especially) to make someone else feel bad about themselves deserves it, and I know in my heart that they don't and that thinking this way is wrong.
> 
> I would never act on these thoughts, but the fact that I think this way and feel this intense hatred for anyone who decides to try to make me feel bad about myself is just wrong. Is there a name for this? Is it a disorder, something to do with intense hatred towards people without proper justification? Any help would be appreciated, thanks


oh.my.god. honey, you are not alone. i am the same way because i have been f-d over so many times and too repetitively without justification or acknowledgement that it really has destroyed my trust in people, my value in myself, and once someone messes up i don't let them in again. i get very angry when something obviously wrong is happening to me and i'm the only one that realizes how wrong it is. or that someone said something that's far from okay and i'm the only one who notices how wrong it was. this has been increasing in me a lot lately and i am the type of individual that gets labeled as "odd" because I just don't react to things like the majority does. i don't believe that the majority is correct nor normal. i think for myself, i have to trust my intuition about people and stop second guessing myself. i have accepted that i can't stand people and the way they think is toxic to me. i do much better with limited contact with people because sooner or later they say or do something that is so wrong, abusive, f-d up and i am the only one who is destroyed by it. not because I'm weak or there is something wrong with me, but because i seem to be the only one with a sense of when something is really wrong with things that are going on around me or to me. maybe you and i and people like us just have a stronger sense of what is right and wrong and everyone else is just....weak. so much so that it's enraging for people like us.

that's my opinion and i'm sticking to it.


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## BoilingPoint (Nov 13, 2011)

confinedbyanxiety said:


> I think people with SAD (IMO because I know I want to avoid confrontation and so am guilty of this) DONT STAND UP for themselves at the time of someone putting the spot light on you in any way (could mean calling you out online about your opinion/in person in front of other people/etc.) so you bundle it up, and feel almost abused, so this leads you to feel really angry that they have been able to treat you so badly.
> ALSO, the fact that they probably feel nothing/dont feel bad because they dont understand your sensitivity to something. So they go on in their lives totally happy (in your mind) and you have to suffer with their bad comments/how they make you feel.
> 
> My advice is stand up for yourself at the time (or at least try to). If someone says something that is starting to make you mad.. SAY IT  Try to stay calm and just let them know that what they are saying is really offensive and you're done with the conversation... this might make you feel like you are getting your power back (with your feelings). Hope this helps


good advice. i have been making small baby steps toward that over the last few weeks. it's a struggle. but i know i need to do better by myself and speak up, no matter what. it's terrifying though. ugh.


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## BoilingPoint (Nov 13, 2011)

Hopeful25 said:


> Thanks for the response, and I think you're right, especially about the bold. I can't stand the fact that they can just mosey on with their happy lives while I stay miserable and dwell on their negative comments about me, so the anger just boils up inside of me.
> 
> I do try to defend myself usually, *but I feel like I'm not very good at it* because I don't like confrontation, so maybe I'll try what you said about telling them I was offended. *I also think it doesn't help that I can't really tell anyone how/why I'm upset* (I have practically no friends, that's usually who people complain to), so I just keep it inside.
> 
> But I'll definitely try what you suggested, thanks again


i relate to everything you said in bold. i have a hard time speaking. like my throat closes up and my body gets so tense that i can't speak and the thoughts that arein my mind disappear as soon i try to speak. trying to defend myself because impossible like i'm all of a sudden paralyzed while the anger has my body so consumed. i understand how it's very difficult to speak up when all of these things are against you (me) and knowing what to say in the moment is hard too so then people leave you, dump you, etc.

and on top of that, i get severe headaches as a result.


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## Phoenix Rising (Jul 7, 2011)

I have the same issue, not so much the violent fantasies, but not standing up for myself and bundling up my anger and not sharing it. 

Best of luck to both of us for healing!


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