# What do women think of anxious men??



## bobbyQ (Nov 4, 2006)

When a girl interacts with a guy that is anxious, does she consider him as someone to be with?


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## SADLiath (Aug 5, 2005)

Ummm ... it depends on the rest of his personality.

If he's anxious, but also mean, petty, and uninterested in what I have to say, then no, I wouldn't consider him "relationship material".

If he's anxious, but also kind, with a decent sense of humor, and genuinely interested in me, then yeah, I might want to get to know him better.

Anxiety isn't the most important thing.


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## kev (Jan 28, 2005)

My problem is when I get anxious, I stop listening to what the other person is saying, and then they accuse me of being a bad listener. Not good for a relationship. It doesn't mean I don't care, it just means I have trouble following conversations. 

The problem with anxiety is you may have some great personality traits but they may not be easily recognizable when you're too inhibited to "show them off." It's also easy to come off aloof or uninterested when in fact you're just afraid that your interest won't be reciprocated so you act distant. I don't think anxiety alone is too big a problem, unless the girl is shallow.


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## bobbyQ (Nov 4, 2006)

SADLiath said:


> Ummm ... it depends on the rest of his personality.
> 
> If he's anxious, but also mean, petty, and uninterested in what I have to say, then no, I wouldn't consider him "relationship material".
> 
> ...


Yeh, i feel that my symptoms of anxiety are getting worse, ie. mouth trembling, tense jaw muscles. and sometimes difficulties in speaking, but i feel i do have a good personality and sense of humour. I feel that if a girl sees these anxiety symptoms that she wont consider me as someone to be with.....mabey i need to talk to 100 girls so that my fear is gone and then i wont have the symptoms.....


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

In my case, they turn and flee!


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## dez (Jun 25, 2005)

bobbyQ said:


> When a girl interacts with a guy that is anxious, does she consider him as someone to be with?


I think it really depends on who the girl is. We're not all superficial. There are women who will look past the anxiety and be understanding. I guess the problem is finding them. :stu


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## AlekParker (Oct 31, 2006)

I know a lot of good looking women with good personalities who like shy guys. They will either overlook your anxiety or not really realize t hat your anxiety is as bad as you feel it is. Often they only see what you project, and to them it isn't a person who has SA.


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## TheContrary (May 2, 2006)

.


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## Redox (Jan 20, 2006)

bobbyQ said:


> When a girl interacts with a guy that is anxious, does she consider him as someone to be with?


I would.


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## IvanaDantas (Oct 21, 2004)

Well I have a bf that has SA, and I was never botherd by it, I love him for who he is....


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## Cherry (May 30, 2006)

SADLiath said:


> Ummm ... it depends on the rest of his personality.
> 
> If he's anxious, but also mean, petty, and uninterested in what I have to say, then no, I wouldn't consider him "relationship material".
> 
> ...


 :agree If he is anxious just to get into my pants than no but if he really seems interested in me than I can see pass the anxious behavior.


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## leppardess (Nov 8, 2003)

SADLiath said:


> Ummm ... it depends on the rest of his personality.
> 
> If he's anxious, but also mean, petty, and uninterested in what I have to say, then no, I wouldn't consider him "relationship material".
> 
> ...


Exactly.


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## IndigoGirl (Aug 13, 2006)

:ditto Anxiety doesn't bother me in the least as long as the person's got a genuine personality. Anxiety is a normal human response, especially when pursuing the opposite sex of interest. I wouldn't hold it against them and understand about it.


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## pyramidsong (Apr 17, 2005)

SADLiath said:


> If he's anxious, but also kind, with a decent sense of humor, and genuinely interested in me, then yeah, I might want to get to know him better.


:agree

Nobody's perfect, we all have issues. If a guy's smart, kind and treats me with respect then I definitely wouldn't turn him down for having anxiety.


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## instil (Aug 19, 2005)

these girls share 'his' anxiety though, so they are more understanding. (we're on another level of compassion and kindness....we're so nice, us anxious types) at

My initial thought is that they would see that anxious/nervousness as a minus, not a plus. Like, is this guy scared of girls....or think your non-talkativeness is a sign of disinterest in her. What do i know though, im not a girl.


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## bobbyQ (Nov 4, 2006)

I guess Im scared of girls seeing my jaw start to tremble when i speak to them. I feel they would notice it and think that theres something wrong with me. I feel that until i start feeling comfortable around that girl, and realise she likes me, will my syptoms subside


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

Cherry said:


> SADLiath said:
> 
> 
> > Ummm ... it depends on the rest of his personality.
> ...


The guys that are anxious to get in your pants are more than likely not going to portray the sa anxiety. We freak out to a point where this doesn't seem to come into mind at least that's what I find.

For me it's more okay don't screw this up, don't go blank, have something to say keep the convo going etc. Why is it that holding a convo seems effortless for women? At least they make it seem that way.


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## scairy (Sep 18, 2005)

bobbyQ said:


> When a girl interacts with a guy that is anxious, does she consider him as someone to be with?


If you want me to be honest the answer is no. Not trying to be mean just being honest. When you are around someone anxious it makes you anxious and in turn uncomfortable. On top of that it can be interpreted as lack of confidence and just flat out strange. The only way to lower the anxiety is to interact more and more.

Now if I found a girl that had high anxiety around me and I knew it was because she was attracted to me I'd think it was so cute I'd want to hug her. But as many threads from the past have explained men throughout history were to be brave and strong and emotionless (fighting wars death etc.). Men were to keep emotions under control. In a family he was the anchor to prevent complete hysteria after a major societal, family loss.


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## whiteclouds (Mar 18, 2004)

It depends, but in all honesty, I find it hard to interact with anxious people, just for practical reasons. I am also shy and reserved, so a conversation between me and another shy and reserved person tends to be a very awkward situation dominated by one word replies and shuffling of the feet, which usually goes nowhere.

I know a married couple. The wife enjoys talking, and the husband is reserved and quiet. They get along well, and the wife thinks highly of him, even though he is very quiet in group settings.


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## MissBrownEyes (Nov 6, 2006)

Alright I didnt read every post on here, but the first few, and my opion is this..

There ARE girls out there who are NOT judgemental,girls who look past the little things. You wouldnt want a girl you couldnt feel comfortable around anyways right? And if someone isnt willing to take you for who you are, its not worth your time to even try.


Dont give up, Love is out there... I PROMISE


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## MissBrownEyes (Nov 6, 2006)

bobbyQ said:


> I guess Im scared of girls seeing my jaw start to tremble when i speak to them. I feel they would notice it and think that theres something wrong with me. I feel that until i start feeling comfortable around that girl, and realise she likes me, will my syptoms subside


Bobby.... Everyone is differnt, and if a girl thinks there is something wrong b/c of that then thats just not fair, you dont ever judge someone after only talking to or seeing them a few times, it takes much more then that, and perhpas after you talk to a certin girl for a while this will start to make you more comfortable and the trembling will stop, now if it doesnt, you could try to explain to her that its just an anxious anxiety feeling. I know where you are comming from b/c I have passed up many opurtunitys of love and chances due to my anxiety, I ALWAYS SAY TO MYSELF WHAT IF I GO ON THIS DATE AND I MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF AND HAVE TO LEAVE, many thoughts race though my mind and I scare myself so bad that i ALWAYS seem to cancle plans. There have been a few times I risked it, and had a small panic attack at frist, but I got threw it, and had a great time. I guess this whole topic is hard for me b/c im much differnt then most people, I dont care about someones past, (thats why its a past) I dont judge others for their mistakes, and I try to give everyone a shot. I honestly beleive there is someone out there for everyone, God has a plan for each of us. DONT GIVE UP


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