# For the goodlooking:



## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

What must you do to be successful with women?


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Work on being yourself and try not to take things too personally; be light hearted; however, easier said than done, but possible.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

What am I doin' here?? :lurk 

:lol


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## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

Jaiyyson said:


> What am I doin' here?? :lurk
> 
> :lol


I'm here for the popcorn. :stu


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## AussiePea (Mar 27, 2007)

mmm me too.

Oh and I have no tips since I do not comply with thread rules.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

Goodlooking isn't working.........try making yourself ugly.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

If you believe the threads on this forum just get a sex change, the women have it way easier than the guys :|


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

VanDamMan said:


> Goodlooking isn't working.........try making yourself ugly.


 Well i have an ugly personality if that works. :O)


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## millenniumman75 (Feb 4, 2005)

MavenMI6Agent009 said:


> Well i have an ugly personality if that works. :O)


 ugly *DUCKLING* personality - we know what happened to the ugly duckling, now, don't we?!


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## foodie (Apr 27, 2010)

lol why u put down for the goodlookin huh...

but anywayz well if u are reading things right then she is ****ed up but u never know...and honestly....most women would perfer someone who has experience...HOWEVER its not a big deal...only thing i can say abt ur situation yes that "sigh" probably means she wish u did have experience true but come on u havent communicated to her abt this whole thing...TEXTIN ISNT GOOD IN A RELATIONSHIP IF ITS LONG DISTANCE! yes she probably is bummed out but u dont know whats going on in her head...u know? but i would def date a guy if he hasnt had a girlfriend.....that gives someone the chance to be your first love to me ur a catch...and thats really indearing and just nice to find in a guy =)


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## foodie (Apr 27, 2010)

foodie said:


> lol why u put down for the goodlookin huh...
> 
> but anywayz well if u are reading things right then she is ****ed up but u never know...and honestly....most women would perfer someone who has experience...HOWEVER its not a big deal...only thing i can say abt ur situation yes that "sigh" probably means she wish u did have experience true but come on u havent communicated to her abt this whole thing...TEXTIN ISNT GOOD IN A RELATIONSHIP IF ITS LONG DISTANCE! yes she probably is bummed out but u dont know whats going on in her head...u know? but i would def date a guy if he hasnt had a girlfriend.....that gives someone the chance to be your first love to me ur a catch...and thats really indearing and just nice to find in a guy =)


sry this comment for some other post...but

being and nice or a jerk has nothing to do with making someone interested but u should def be nice... i have been asking myself the same question im goodlooking but y cant i get a guy interested....honestly i think it has to do with my SA nad im to quiet and not good at conversation but i dont know what u need to improve on if u dont post more information abt ur personality... tons of ppl with SA have a bf/gf so i always wonder whats wrong with me i just think its my other issues im to quiet, have nothing to talk abt ( most ppl talk abt friends and family i dont have either so im scerwed ) so it doesnt matter if im good looking or not...being good looking only helps me with getting there attention but holding there interest is another story....but anyway if u wanna chat hit me up =)


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

I'm not particularly good looking, but I do have eyes. If you're a good looking girl, go to a dive, sit alone at the bar, and pick from whomever approaches you. For a good looking guy, go to an apartment party or some other gathering where you can meet friends of friends, and wait for an obvious cue or for one of your friends to tell you, "Dude, she's totally into you!"


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

This is me, am I good looking??????????????????


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## SusanStorm (Oct 27, 2006)

BetaBoy90 said:


> This is me, am I good looking??????????????????


Ha ha..So this is the definition of good looking?I don't agree at all.I'd have a "normal" guy with all his faults any day over this guy


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## strawberryjulius (Jun 28, 2009)

^ Same here, although I can't think of any "faults" my boyfriend has. :b


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

:shock..... Why do you girls have to hate on my looks. I toned my abs in that picture for the ladies!


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## veron (Apr 29, 2009)

rweezer36 said:


> Here's what you do: Ask a girl's name, then purposely refer to her as a different name (same letter is best). example- Girl's name is Kristina, "Oh...Krystal, that's a pretty name". I guarantee you'll get forced, nervous laughter about 12-14% of the time. After that, I'm not sure. But if you figure it out, PM me.


Hahaha somebody did this to me and I laughed like a complete moron.



BetaBoy90 said:


> :shock..... Why do you girls have to hate on my looks. I toned my abs in that picture for the ladies!


Looking good there


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## nemesis1 (Dec 21, 2009)

Looks (for guys) mean nothing if you dont have the confidence to go with it.


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

Well while we're hijacking this thread and turning it into the next 'Post A Pic Of Yourself Right Now' thread, I thought I better take advantage of this opportunity to show how sexy I AM.


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## Dub16 (Feb 28, 2010)

You dont have to be good looking. If you can be someone who makes a person feel happy, then thats the be all and end all. Doesnt matter how you do it, just remember that all any human wants is to feel happy and loved.
You don't have to be beautiful looking to make someone feel happy.


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## Atticus (Nov 10, 2003)

Jaiyyson said:


> Well while we're hijacking this thread and turning it into the next 'Post A Pic Of Yourself Right Now' thread, I thought I better take advantage of this opportunity to show how sexy I AM.


What is your routine, man. I'm talking top to bottom; workout, diet, skin care, mental clarity.

As to the topic, I'm sorry you're frustrated. However, whatever you look like, you have to engage the person on some non-looks level to form a relationship. Even being someone's ****toy typically requires some positive expression of who you are.


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

Maven, be kind, compliment her (but not falsely -find something good about her) considerate, a good listener, make her laugh....and you're golden! 

Good looks is only an attention getter (you can find other attention getters)...after that your personality has to shine through.


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## BetaBoy90 (Jan 5, 2010)

This is my profile pic on a dating site. As you can tell the messages all come flying at me, unfortunately my talking game is garbage so although they come for the eye candy I can't hold their attention long enough to show them I more than just a big piece of man meat...


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## so_so_shy (Sep 5, 2005)

Doesn't mater what you look like, you need confidence and the ability to carry on a good conversation.


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## sash (Nov 16, 2009)

BetaBoy90 said:


> This is my profile pic on a dating site. As you can tell the messages all come flying at me, unfortunately my talking game is garbage so although they come for the eye candy I can't hold their attention long enough to show them I more than just a big piece of man meat...


:lol nice!


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

Invisible_girl said:


> So this is the definition of good looking?


I was thinking more like this guy:


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## ruxul (Oct 22, 2008)

Hahaha. Wow, this post is pretty funny.

To the OP, looks only get you so far. Im fairly attractive. Well some girls say Im good looking at least.. But like others have said, you gotta have confidence and charm to get girls.. Well actually Im not so sure about charm since I always see hot girls with meatheads .. Maybe you just have to be confident and loud.. Or maybe just a jerk. Im not sure but personality is definitely important. And if that doesnt work just give them this look:



Jaiyyson said:


>


Im pretty sure girls are into the "Im gonna rip off your clothes and devour you" look


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

Atticus said:


> What is your routine, man. I'm talking top to bottom; workout, diet, skin care, mental clarity.


Well, I weild the odd battle-axe or two, splitting the skulls of my enemies like logs, and train 7 days a week with my own personalized sword routine..

I eat a lot of fish man, for protein, you know. Like a lot of smoked herring and stuff, and also a horn filled with some home brewed beer doesn't go astray; at least one a day...

Skin care?? Errrm, moot point. I let the minerals in the mud and the blades of my enemies swords take care of that..

And finally, as for my mental clarity, HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY MENTAL CLARITY!! RWOOOOAAARR!!


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## Post_Punk_Proclivity (Oct 12, 2008)

ruxul said:


> I'm pretty sure girls are into the "Im gonna rip off your clothes and devour you" look


Yeah, I love to lay a woman down by the hearth..


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## STKinTHEmud (Jun 21, 2009)

sash said:


> Maven, be kind, compliment her (but not falsely -find something good about her) considerate, a good listener, make her laugh....and you're golden!
> 
> Good looks is only an attention getter (you can find other attention getters)...after that your personality has to shine through.


Those are all good qualities, but I think you're forgetting that you should also be interesting and challenge her and then you have to actually make a move (ask her out, then kiss her, then initiate intimacy, since it seems that not too many women seem willing to make the first move).


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

sash said:


> Good looks is only an *attention getter* (you can find other attention getters)...after that your personality has to shine through.


From my personal experience I think its very true. I can only seem to get a lot of different girls attention but nothing beyond. Better than nothing I guess. :duck


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## 266x (Jun 30, 2011)

I find humour (but not too much of the teasing variety) seems to help. Honesty and genuine responses help too.


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## RetroDoll (Jun 25, 2011)

for the goodlooking -- THEY don't have to do anything. it's ugly people and unattractive people that have to actually do something to get noticed.


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## saso (Dec 15, 2009)

:b


Nidhoggr said:


> What am I doin' here?? :lurk
> 
> :lol


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

RetroDoll said:


> for the goodlooking -- THEY don't have to do anything. it's ugly people and unattractive people that have to actually do something to get noticed.


but I like to be successful too. I think its a paradox that i have it easy when looks are not enough. maybe thats low self esteem talking but getting ones attention is not don juan. Moreover, if Im a 7 and trying to get with HB 7 or 8 how can I qualify? IM overqualified for the HB5's and HB6's let alone the 1-3's,


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## RetroDoll (Jun 25, 2011)

MavenMI6Agent009 said:


> but I like to be successful too. I think its a paradox that i have it easy when looks are not enough. maybe thats low self esteem talking but getting ones attention is not don juan. Moreover, if Im a 7 and trying to get with HB 7 or 8 how can I qualify? IM overqualified for the HB5's and HB6's let alone the 1-3's,


I don't know what to tell you as far as being successful is concerned w/ trying to get women's attention. I have no idea if you're ugly or not and even if I did, I likely wouldn't tell you that anyways. All of that HB 7 or 8 and HB6 etc. -- it's seems simple enough to me: majority of attractive people might have a whole bunch of issues but _usually_ are not the ones complaining about lack of dates. that's all I know. People don't wanna hear that and/or don't like it, that's too bad, I guess. As far as everyone liking you 'and all that matters is how nice you are etc' is B.S. far as I'm concerned. If that was true, sure are a lot of so called 'nice people with good convo skills' sitting at home on the weekends with zero prospects despite trying. Just saying. IMO it's likely do to they are unattractive or going after those that are out of their league. If everyone that was "nice with a good personality and that's all that counts!" was getting dates so many people wouldn't be complaining about not getting dates. Just how I see it.


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## Resonance (Feb 11, 2010)

Beautiful people like me only need enter a room and the women just flock unto us like pilgrims to the worship.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

RetroDoll said:


> I don't know what to tell you as far as being successful is concerned w/ trying to get women's attention. I have no idea if you're ugly or not and even if I did, I likely wouldn't tell you that anyways. All of that HB 7 or 8 and HB6 etc. -- it's seems simple enough to me: majority of attractive people might have a whole bunch of issues but _usually_ are not the ones complaining about lack of dates. that's all I know. People don't wanna hear that and/or don't like it, that's too bad, I guess. As far as everyone liking you 'and all that matters is how nice you are etc' is B.S. far as I'm concerned. If that was true, sure are a lot of so called 'nice people with good convo skills' sitting at home on the weekends with zero prospects despite trying. Just saying. IMO it's likely do to they are unattractive or going after those that are out of their league. If everyone that was "nice with a good personality and that's all that counts!" was getting dates so many people wouldn't be complaining about not getting dates. Just how I see it.


I agree with this to a large extent.


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## bsd3355 (Nov 30, 2005)

Nidhoggr said:


> Well, I weild the odd battle-axe or two, splitting the skulls of my enemies like logs, and train 7 days a week with my own personalized sword routine..
> 
> I eat a lot of fish man, for protein, you know. Like a lot of smoked herring and stuff, and also a horn filled with some home brewed beer doesn't go astray; at least one a day...
> 
> ...


LOL:teeth


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## wraith (Feb 22, 2010)

She needs to find you and your personality interesting.


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## VanDamMan (Nov 2, 2009)

you just say "let it be", wave you hand, and women will start tearing your clothes off.


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## phoenixwright (Jun 22, 2011)

The most important thing is to have a good attitude. Second is confidence. Third, take initiative and be assertive/aggressive. Fourth, be authentic (be yourself). Fifth, you need to have "approachable" body language.

The fifth is pretty much my hardest. My body language naturally relaxes when I talk to someone I'm comfortable with. But other than that, I don't give off a very good unconscious vibe and I wish I knew how to change that. Just the other day I was in a crowded grocery store and I had some stuff on my mind. I wasn't in a calmed state. Probably didn't look very friendly.

It's hard for my brain to be consistently in "sociable mode". I can be very social with one person and then go out in public and be a very reserved person. It's scary. I know my SA isn't beat.


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## RetroDoll (Jun 25, 2011)

saso said:


> I disagree. i have plenty of friends who consider themselves ok looking and I have *two guy friends who are considered unattractive and they have had no problem getting dates. why? because they are confident and put themselves out in the world.* they have a positive outlook. the list goes on. i mean i agree it is hard initially to get noticed if looks are lacking. thats just common human nature sense. *but i think its bs to think looks are the reason people are without dates.* common psychology, humans tend to flock to those with similar physical attractiveness. not always but in general. attitude plays a huge part imo.


As far as your guy friends are concerned, there's exceptions to every rule, I don't beleive that's a circumstance that happens the majority of the time though. I don't beleive looks are the _sole_ reason but it plays a larger part than most people are willing to admit. I take issue with those that suggest blindly 'if you are nice, kind, caring, fun to talk to etc.' people will want to date you -- uh, not exactly. There's a lot of people out there who have tried that approach for years (myself included) until all that optimism about your 'nice fun, self being enough for someone' just turns into 'oh who cares anymore.' I had a few roommates, but my last college roommate was a beauty queen -- not just pretty an actual pageant queen. Very nice, very friendly outgoing girl & I would say we were basically even in personality at that time (no longer so) but back then it was. The difference was looks. I am not ugly IMHO, but I'm no beauty queen either. I cannot name *one* social situation out of the many that we were in over the course of 4 years and a year later when we shared an apt. (parties, night clubs, school functions, grocery store, etc) where guys showed anywhere _near_ the amount of attention/looks/convo to me that they did to her. That's a *fact.* That's all there is to it, saw it unfolding with my own eyes on way too many occasions, LOL. When given the choice she was the choice, period. (BTW, this is not a slight against her, she's a great person and we get along until this day). I could tell you specific instances if you want, but this post is getting long enough. So, when someone comes along and says 'all you have to do is be nice!' 'Be positive!' etc. I have to call B.S. on that every time. Because I personally do not believe that anymore, as I once did for most of my life. As far as the OP is concerned and anyone else I can only tell them what I have seen and been through and come to beleive. I don't say it's right or the only thing; just what I know personally. You're entitled to your opinion of course and I understand fully what you're saying here -- I just don't agree. Excuse me, for making such a long post.


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## anomalous (Jun 12, 2004)

RetroDoll said:


> As far as your guy friends are concerned, there's exceptions to every rule, I don't beleive that's a circumstance that happens the majority of the time though. I don't beleive looks are the _sole_ reason but it plays a larger part than most people are willing to admit. I take issue with those that suggest blindly 'if you are nice, kind, caring, fun to talk to etc.' people will want to date you -- uh, not exactly. There's a lot of people out there who have tried that approach for years (myself included) until all that optimism about your 'nice fun, self being enough for someone' just turns into 'oh who cares anymore.' I had a few roommates, but my last college roommate was a beauty queen -- not just pretty an actual pageant queen. Very nice, very friendly outgoing girl & I would say we were basically even in personality at that time (no longer so) but back then it was. The difference was looks. I am not ugly IMHO, but I'm no beauty queen either. I cannot name *one* social situation out of the many that we were in over the course of 4 years and a year later when we shared an apt. (parties, night clubs, school functions, grocery store, etc) where guys showed anywhere _near_ the amount of attention/looks/convo to me that they did to her. That's a *fact.* That's all there is to it, saw it unfolding with my own eyes on way too many occasions, LOL. When given the choice she was the choice, period. (BTW, this is not a slight against her, she's a great person and we get along until this day). I could tell you specific instances if you want, but this post is getting long enough. So, when someone comes along and says 'all you have to do is be nice!' 'Be positive!' etc. I have to call B.S. on that every time. Because I personally do not believe that anymore, as I once did for most of my life. You're entitled to your opinion of course and I understand fully what you're saying here -- I just don't agree. Excuse me, for making such a long post.


I absolutely believe you there. Devastatingly, that's pretty much how it is for women, IMO. As a straight man, I fully recognize an innate tendency in me to gravitate toward females who are attractive, independent of all other factors. I try to override it as much as possible, but that doesn't change the fact that (a) it's there, and (b) most guys don't even try to mitigate it.

You're not crazy, as the blind optimist pie-in-the-sky contingent would have you believe. You're observing a real phenomenon, unfortunately. I share your pain, since women judge looks more than they let on (though still not quite as much as men, IMO) and I'm hideous.


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## percyblueraincoat (Jun 2, 2009)

anomalous, who says you're hideous other than yourself?

You don't gravitate to attractive women. You go after women you find and or think of as attractive. A viewpoint which may not be and probably is not shared by other straight men since we don't all fancy the same type of woman. 

Women don't have this "set down by society" standards that they look for in terms of looks. 

No more than men do.

The "go outside and see" test pretty much proves that one. Women date men of all sorts of different looks, shapes, sizes and one of the world's most obese men has a thin girlfriend. But then again, the pie in the sky worship of the bleakness will probably dismiss that good fortune as being about some other external thing because we all know negativity is reality?

A woman has her own wants and desires on an individual level. You might well be her cup of tea or you might not be. There might be something you can do about it or there might not be. I've seen PUA guys and male models get rejected and turned down.

Women quite regularly argue over the guys they think of as being hot and you see guys doing this too quite a lot down the pub. But how could such a thing exist if people are judging based on this handed down universal set of standards. Well, because they are not doing that.

Then you have the scientifically documented "halo" effect, the effect voice has on both the vocal aspect of attraction, the interpretation of physical attraction and the interpretation of the whole picture of a person's attractiveness on an individual level.

Then we have how the eye and the senses process information and what they are vulnerable to. Examples of this include when you find someone attractive when under the influence of drink and then don't when you're not drunk. State changes, mood changes, light changes, setting changes, context changes all taking part in what you found or did not find attractive.

Such a rich, varied picture way beyond the whole "oh, I don't look good because I don't like myself and think don't" kind of thing that a lot of people seem to cling to.


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## RetroDoll (Jun 25, 2011)

anomalous said:


> I absolutely believe you there. Devastatingly, that's pretty much how it is for women, IMO. As a straight man, *I fully recognize an innate tendency in me to gravitate toward females who are attractive, independent of all other factors.* I try to override it as much as possible, but that doesn't change the fact that (a) it's there, and (b) most guys don't even try to mitigate it.
> 
> *You're not crazy, as the blind optimist pie-in-the-sky contingent would have you believe.* You're observing a real phenomenon, unfortunately. I share your pain, since women judge looks more than they let on (though still not quite as much as men, IMO) and I'm hideous.


And I'm not faulting you or other males for this whatsoever; imo it's nature. it's the way things are in this life (as frustrating as it may be). I just don't like when people like you said, try that 'pie in the sky' crap with me about this issue or try to make me think i'm crazy or imagining things when I know I'm not. I appreciate that you have the balls to at least admit you've seen the same things I have in these matters.

P.S. I'm not agreeing or disagreeing that you're hideous or not, because I don't know that.


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## saso (Dec 15, 2009)

RetroDoll said:


> As far as your guy friends are concerned, there's exceptions to every rule, I don't beleive that's a circumstance that happens the majority of the time though. I don't beleive looks are the _sole_ reason but it plays a larger part than most people are willing to admit. I take issue with those that suggest blindly 'if you are nice, kind, caring, fun to talk to etc.' people will want to date you -- uh, not exactly. There's a lot of people out there who have tried that approach for years (myself included) until all that optimism about your 'nice fun, self being enough for someone' just turns into 'oh who cares anymore.' I had a few roommates, but my last college roommate was a beauty queen -- not just pretty an actual pageant queen. Very nice, very friendly outgoing girl & I would say we were basically even in personality at that time (no longer so) but back then it was. The difference was looks. I am not ugly IMHO, but I'm no beauty queen either. I cannot name *one* social situation out of the many that we were in over the course of 4 years and a year later when we shared an apt. (parties, night clubs, school functions, grocery store, etc) where guys showed anywhere _near_ the amount of attention/looks/convo to me that they did to her. That's a *fact.* That's all there is to it, saw it unfolding with my own eyes on way too many occasions, LOL. When given the choice she was the choice, period. (BTW, this is not a slight against her, she's a great person and we get along until this day). I could tell you specific instances if you want, but this post is getting long enough. So, when someone comes along and says 'all you have to do is be nice!' 'Be positive!' etc. I have to call B.S. on that every time. Because I personally do not believe that anymore, as I once did for most of my life. As far as the OP is concerned and anyone else I can only tell them what I have seen and been through and come to beleive. I don't say it's right or the only thing; just what I know personally. You're entitled to your opinion of course and I understand fully what you're saying here -- I just don't agree. Excuse me, for making such a long post.


no worries I hear what you're saying. The Op was referring to how to get women. and I was mainly referring to that also. I think for men its a different deal. maybe im wrong. im basing my opinion on my own observation of close male friends and my experience with attraction to men/dating. I don't think women are as concerned with looks as men are. In other words, I don't think thats what drives us in picking a mate. I would agree with you that men do often gravitate to beautiful women. Again i was adressing men in this thread mainly.My point is attitude, personality, having something to actually offer to a relationship goes along way. Im not saying be nice and all your dreams will come true. haha.thats la-la land talk and unrealistic. again i gotta go by what i know and i have married friends and single but dating friends who are not beauty queens by any means and have managed to have a family and find dates. I didn't mean to suggest that its easy or that its all about personality. Looks definitely play a part. but i still stay attitude is huge. I would go as far as to say more important than looks. My best friend in high school was considered unattractive, very unatractive and whenever we would go out to wherever I would be the one getting the attention. She has since found a guy. but she has only dated one man. She is happy. I am still working on it. My own experience is men are highly driven by looks and sexual appeal. biology based for sure.


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## Jessie203 (Feb 20, 2008)

phoenixwright said some good stuff with his 5 rules.

But just want to say, even if you are shy there are girls out there (like me lol) who have no problem initiating things and being the aggressive one. As long as you are open enough to show you are someone a girl can trust, good attitude, confidence in your life and your body language isn't entirely ice cold it can work. I don't mind chipping away for a while... ^_^ lol


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## CopadoMexicano (Aug 21, 2004)

men respect me but women dont. hmm turn gay?


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## Quietguy90 (May 9, 2011)

in the rare instances that ive had girls approach me some have told me that I am good looking its just that I find that so hard to believe that it doesnt even register. I think that lack of confidence in myself probably kills any attraction my looks may or may not be(prob not) generating. I think good looking or not as a guy you have to be comfortable with yourself, like it or not the burden of being confident falls on us dudes. I think its also really unfair for women as well how much they are judged on their looks, I find that when im talking to a girl if she is awesome i dont really care if shes not "hot" shell seem extra hot to me for having similar interests. 

Im not going to lie though when you see that super attractive girl a guy is going to want her thats how we are wired but you live long enough and you realize that the best girls are the ones who are sitting somewhere reading a book and are probably even prettier than the show offs with the *****y attitudes


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